Episode 7 – Spaghetti Western

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round friends and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian. Abdul Aziz. Hello. Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Hi. And playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes, they were doing a little spying. Mm-hmm.

In preparation for the wedding between Callum Blackhammer and Victoria LeBlanc, so-called, quote, quote-unquote. Someone farted really loud outside. Someone farted. It wasn't me this time. It was really loud. Do you think it's that same person who farts in our hallway? No, that's Paul. That's me. No, no. There was… It's Paul, but also, we've heard it before from someone. We have heard it before. There's all those moms and dads in there. Somebody's got to come over here to fart.

Someone's coming over here to fart. Yeah. Walking around the corner thinking there's nobody here, ripping a fart. Maybe they know we're recording and they're like, this is great. I'm going to get on that podcast. I just love that Paul saw the room full of people and was like, I'll wait until I'm in the hallway before I fart. And then farted so loud. I came in and you were all looking at me. You had headphones on. Yeah, we heard it. Through the mic. We just heard that. That's what we heard.

Through the mic. Oh, my tummy. Sorry, I ate so much pizza really fast. Okay. What if you get pizzeria? I probably will. Do you need Tums? No, never. As part of those preparations, Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, decided to spy upon the chambers of Victoria LaBlanche simply in an attempt for her to see him. Looking cool, I guess. Yes. I was trying to wrong foot her. Yeah, because Tuck's plan was if she sees me and I look hot enough, I'll ruin their wedding. Yeah.

She won't be able to hold it together, I think. Yeah, totally. Because everybody gets cold feet on their wedding day. Everyone's looking to bolt. He keeps saying that. Everyone's looking to bolt and then they just don't because someone blocked their truck in. They got double parked so they couldn't do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's looking to do it. And then they got double parked that one time. Black Tacoma got double parked.

They got double parked by Aaron's shitty cousin. You had three weddings. Yeah. That happened to you three times? I got double parked every time. Every time. He's going to run. He's got a runner written all over his face. Yeah. Oh, cool. Leave that in. I dare you. I will. Double parked. I will. I will. This had questionable effect, but what we did learn. Is that Victoria LaBlanche was getting changed in front of the window. Yeah. Deliberately. Yeah.

But also kind of showing it, but kind of not showing it because we're a family podcast. Totally. Sort of. Doink. Oh, Ving saw that Callum Blackhammer's demonic presence is sort of orchestrating slash puppet mastering the weird tension that lies over Black Glass. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Carrying a container with inks and also a very ancient tooth and bone knife. From there, we jumped to the party itself where the crew immediately began causing trouble in their attempt to create a distraction as part of their deal with the Brass Castle gang. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And then Billy slipped off into the darkness, doing a little bit of sneaking and spying himself.

Billy ran into a member of the Brass Castle gang who directed him to Callum's office on the second floor. Tuck and Vang headed themselves to the ballroom and spied the grand, grand decorations of the place. Yeah. Tuck became overwhelmed by the presence of Callum Blackhammer, who appeared to zero in on Tuck. Sexually overwhelmed. Sexually pretty overwhelmed. Yeah, Tuck was sexually overwhelmed by Callum Blackhammer.

And Vang realized that the ceremony that had been set up uses an altar that the Medjay used in the ritual in which they stole his shapeshifting away. And that the decorations themselves were arranged in a reflection of the constellations of the Outer Dark and also of the Spirit Realm. Billy overheard a conversation between Callum. And Victoria LaBlanche in which they described something that would be taking place very soon. A ceremony after the wedding. Yeah.

And that after that, they would be like gods. Yeah. Tuck took a peek around and realized that if they were to attempt to bind something both iconic and spiritual of significant power, the only thing Tuck could think of that made sense was the Gibbous Man himself. And that is where we find our heroes now. So bad. This is really bad. This is really bad. Tuck is saying it to Vang. He's like grabbing him. Do you know what they're doing? Vang, this is really bad.

I think they're trying to bind the Gibbous Man. What can we do? What do we… We have to stop this. We can't let this happen. If he gets hold of this power, this party, this union, we're screwed. There's no stopping him. Can we hypothetically destroy the altar or the ink or the knives that they use? Yes. I don't think there's anything in this world that we can't destroy. Okay. That's a very good point. Fucking love you so much. You look really good tonight. Thanks. You look beautiful. Thank you.

All right. Let's go fuck up some stuff. We just run over and we smash the altar. Is that your plan? I think we probably want to get to it kind of slowly. Sure, yeah. Creep slowly towards it. Oh, yeah. We don't have anything that we can smash that with. Yes. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah, so we'll cut back to Billy. What is Billy doing? Can you remind me what they were talking about in there? So they're like, Victoria's got beef with Tuck still. Yep.

Seems like she's interested in settling a score. They're going to do their wedding first and then this ceremony. Yes. And then he said, and then we will be like gods. Yes. And then you notice because Billy peeked through the keyhole slash under the door and noticed that Victoria had fresh tattoos. Right. Her back of tattoos. Yeah. Okay. So Billy is like, wow, I've heard enough. I know exactly what's going on here. Goodbye. I don't know if I still have these on me, but I had to blow darts.

So your plan here was to try and paralyze Victoria and. I just thought I was like, they're right there. Yeah. They're still making out. They're vulnerable. Yeah. They're not expecting this. Because they're making out. Kind of makes you sick. Yeah. It's gross to look at. For sure. They're bumping around in there now. They're clanging into some stuff. Yeah. They're like, oh, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this.

They're like slamming into the desk and like moving across the room, slamming into a bookshelf, rubbing up against, rubbing butts against different stuff. Are they coming near the door? I could try and get their heels. Oh, you're good. So you're going to try and poison these guys. Yeah. So you'd have to, you'd have to roll some sort of defy danger to get close enough that you could do this. With death poison? No. The, the, the blow darts were the, the snake one. Harp snake venom. Yeah.

Ah, yes, yes, yes. Which I think you might've said you gave back to Ving. I think you did. I did. I just have a dart. I just have a dart. That's okay. So Billy's been pacing back and forth. Pacing is not what I'm doing. Billy's been rolling back and forth, watching this happening, going back and forth in his thoughts. Like I could kill him right now, but I can't really kill them. This is Callum Blackhammer. Billy, come on.

And then I remember I, I gave my dreamless sleep to Tuck and I gave my harp snake venom to Ving and I am unarmed except for this big bag of coins I stole. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. Danger. Dexterity for you to get back to the party. Yes. Yeah. For sneaking. Five. Oh no. Oh no. So you are creeping back down the hallway. Sneak. Sneak. Sneak. The darkness. The dimness. The black flames glittering off the walls casting long spooky shadows.

And you basically bump right into a dark robed figure. Oh shit. Who turns around. Who. And looks down. Shadowed face. Under the hood, but just like a chin peeking out of the hood and you see tattoos along the chin. A magi. They reach down. They're trying to grab you. Oh, I try to back away. And on a failure, unfortunately, they get you by the cloak. What are you wearing underneath your dog costume? Oh, I'm not wearing my dog costume. I'm just wearing my regular clothes. Just regular clothes.

A raccoon costume. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they grab you, lift you up off the ground, I'm like kicking and shouting, let me go, let me go. You're a weird, you're a gross zombie. Get your zombie hands off of me. What are you doing sneaking around here, little rat? I was going to the bathroom. And if you don't let me go, I'm gonna go to the bathroom all over you. You know the guest bathrooms are in the front lobby. I don't know that. There was a big lineup.

If you were looking for secrets, little boy, you found them. What secrets? And he runs. He whisks you down the hallway. Like he's carrying me? He's carrying you. Oh my god. I'm yelling for you guys. Oh yeah. I don't know if you can hear me. Yeah, you are, Tuck and Ving, you're in the ballroom as you're connecting these dots and you hear kind of on the wind. Tuck! Ving! Happy Kidney! And there's these kids, this kid's screaming. I'm being dognapped! A zombie! Aspie's gonna eat me!

And with these screams, you notice that the guests around you are not reacting at all. So we can hear Billy screaming from like whatever room he's in? Yeah, from like a corridor off the side of the courtyard and there is no reaction from the crowd. They're like looking at each other, kind of murmuring to one another. Yeah, Tuck and Vig are immediately on high alert. Yeah. Can you start sprinting? Towards the voices? Do we need to roll discern reality to see where it is?

No, you can hear where it's coming from. Okay, let's go. Say dexterity to get like there fast enough. Imagine you guys like doing the thing with curtains where you're like, where's the opening? What the hell? I had my finger in it, I had my finger in it like a second ago. Right, because is it curtains that are covering the walkways? It's curtains like a ton of areas. There's so many velvet curtains here. It's the horniest room I've ever been in.

One of those things where they just, you know, they don't want you to see the door out of the room because you're supposed to hang out in here. Okay, here we go. I am going to find my son because I am the superior father. Uh, yeah, so I got an eight. Alright, so it's a dexterity? It's a dexterity. I'm not running super hard. No. Okay, so I got five. Oh, no. It's because I pushed Bing to the ground when I ran. Because you said I'm the superior father. So you got a five and you got a what?

I got eight. Eight, okay. So I think that you, uh. I have a discern realities. Oh. Okay, so you get a plus one. So I get a plus one. That makes it a six. I can aid. Yeah, I aid him. Push him down and then pick me up again. You son of a bitch. Uh, that's six. Shit. So I try to aid him, but I push him. Can we aid from a distance? By saying I'm a distance. He actually can aid from a distance. I can. I can. I'm here. But he only has one. Oh, no. You can just aid.

You don't have to spend a fairy point on it. Okay. You do have to roll. You don't have to spend a fairy child. Yes. Come on. Please, please. Oh, God. No. I got four. Holy shit. Oh, my God. You know what's happening is like I'm yelling. I'm saying like I'm trying to give directions, but it's echoing off. Everything is bouncing off. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. So you get a sweet. Yeah, you get a point as well. Oh, shit. Do I also get a point? Yeah, I get a point of experience. We all do for that.

Yeah, you all do. Wow. Look at us. Holy shit. We're gonna level up four times next. And I'm gonna have to make a all the fucking move. Yes, you are. I promise I'll think about it. John, this is your job. I know it is. But anyway, yes, I start running and I try to grab Ving and I think I have you, but I only have your cape and I'm dragging you behind me and the cape has caught on a ice sculpture. That's why it feels like you're with me. Dragging an ice sculpture across the floor.

It's like close up shot of just tuck and he's like, Ving, I'll take you with me. And I grab him and I pull. It knocks him to the… Don't worry, Ving. We're gonna find Billy. And I look back and it's a swan. Yeah, it's a mostly shattered ice swan. Ving's on the ground picking himself up. And you get through the door, but all you're hearing is like the echoings of Billy's voice. Billy, you're kind of being like jostled around like a bag of apples. And you have no idea what direction you're going.

I am biting the hand of the Medjay. All right. Defy Danger's strength. I can do this. I got heavy chompers. Holy shit. Eleven. Just naturally. Just a natural eleven. Natural teeth. Look at these. I'm a dog. Like Victor showed me. Oh, yeah. You bite him hard. He drops you. I run. I run back. I'm running. Dexterity. Nine. Nine. Okay, so you start.

Yeah, you hear Ving and Tuck yelling down the corridor and you start booking it and you hear like as the Medjay's hand is chomped hard and you hear you're like you little creature and you turn and you see like darkness enveloping the Medjay. I try to run harder, but I'm already running as fast as I can. But you like with the seven to nine. Yes. He is in pursuit. Darkness is enveloping him like shifting his form. The shadows are gathering into the man. I'm like throwing illusions behind me. Yeah.

What kind of illusions are you throwing at him? Just light and whatever comes to his mind. So like light balls, a cat. So like you're throwing these illusions back, but you just know that he is pursuing you. Yeah. And Tuck and Ving you emerge into the corridor. You hear Billy shouting, crashing, and then you see him like skidding around the corner. Keep running. Follow me. Don't run that way. There's a Medjay. I'm trying. Fuck!

And you guys look down the corridor and you see like the shadows like pulling into place around a figure. Do I recognize this? Yeah. Okay. That's an Efreet. It's an Efreet. Billy, run! It's an Efreet! I'm running as fast as I can! Okay. So what are the rules of an Efreet? What are the rules? It can't run on stone. It's saffron. It's weak to saffron. I have one saffron. Okay. You should use that. Don't you have saffron around your neck and the thousand cloths?

No, I gave it to that guy and his mom. Oh my god. To the mom! Rodney and Mumsy are just like at the buffet table like, oh, this is quite lovely! We run by, grab their masks. No. They immediately just… Billy runs down the corridor. I skid in between the Efreet and Billy. And I… You don't have anything on you. I'm holding an ice swan, so I throw it at the Efreet. Alright, fair enough. Here we go. 2d6 plus dexterity I get? No, this is strength. Like, heave it. Yeah.

And Tuck goes, sorry, I'm putting you on ice. Oh my god. Okay, so that's a four. You deserve that. Wait, no. What is it plus? Strength. Strength. Seven? Seven. Seven. Okay. You deserve that. What a prick. I'm putting you on ice. So seven to nine here, because it was a defy danger, not a hack and slash. Oh, was it a fight? Yeah, because hack and slash is like up close. It's kind of a volley. It is kind of a volley. Oh, so then it's dexterity. Then I got three. What? Thanks, Paul.

I was gonna say strength or dexterity, but then I said strength because he's like heaving it. You're not trying to hit him. You're trying to like disrupt. Yeah. I'm trying to put him on ice. Come on. That time was a little bit better. That was much better. You heave this giant ice swan at this ifreet or whatever it is. Shadow cloaked man. I'm not a freet of you. They like lash out at the ice and just shatter it.

But the way that it shatters creates kind of like a field of chips of ice that disorients the ifreet long enough that you have a moment to act. I chase after Billy. Okay. I want to bring the ice down onto him in a rain of sharp shards now that we have ice elementals in the room. Oh, sick. I'm going to use elemental form to create a solid wall around me. 2d6 plus constitution. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. What? 13. I believe you get three hold. Yes, I have three hold. Cool.

So what do you so you're I guess spending one hold to like create this wall that's holding it back. Great. So it's slant. It's throwing itself against this ice wall. Shadowy claws tearing, but you're holding it back momentarily. Billy is booking it down the corridor. I run after him. I go Billy. I'm right behind you and I go to scoop you up, I guess. Yeah, where's Ving? He's turned back and Ving's like part of a giant ice wall like boom, boom. Let me know when you guys are here.

We're going to go help him. Okay, fuck. No, wait, I can do this. I've got this. You could spend a hold, try and freeze them in place while you run away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to try and what are the rules of the Freed? I forget. It's they're weak to saffron. They're weak to the light of sunstone and they're they can't run on stones. Oh, wait, no, they can only run on stone. Oh, only run stone. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like they can't take the wooden roads. You have to take the wooden road.

Sorry. So that is part of, you know, if they weren't able to run on stone like they wouldn't be able to be in this or it wouldn't be able to be in this castle because it's all made of stone. Yeah. Okay, so I'm going to start back. Picking up with keeping the way all ice. Yeah, totally. Yep. You can spend a whole spend a hold there to get back off and keeping it ice to put some distance between us. Yeah, totally.

So are you making a thicker and thicker ice wall between my walls getting thinner, but it's going down on the ground and making it so he can't step on the ground because it's not stone. Oh, I see. Yeah. So then it's it kind of starts like pacing back and forth in the hallway in front of the ice after it tests the floor.

Yeah, but you're all standing on the other side of this ice corridor being you've got like one hold left whenever if you want to use that, but you do have some safety and it sounds like there's a bit of commotion on the other end of the castle like down past this Medjay in the hallway this, you know, there's a it they heard a fight taking place. It sounds like so people are starting to become aware that something's going on really. What did you see?

I mean, I saw I saw them kissing who Victoria and Callum. I'm sorry. I probably didn't know it. It probably didn't mean anything. I mean, to be fair, you've been cheating on her with me this whole time. I can't believe it. I'm sorry. I probably should have left that one for last. My wedding day. This is the worst thing that's happened to me today. That might be true. I did see. Okay, so they are talking. So hard to remember.

They are talking about like there's going to be the wedding and then there's going to be a ceremony and after the ceremony they're going to be powerful like gods. That's what Callum said. And then I saw on Victoria's back. She's got all the weird Medjay tattoos tattoos. Okay. Well, you know what? She's pretty toxic. I feel like me trying to disrupt the wedding is maybe let us down a blind alley. Or you can be like this is the ultimate Yeah, you're right, Billy. This is the ultimate betrayal.

This is the ultimate betrayal. Yeah, because I would never ever get involved with someone who is, you know, so tainted by the iconic realm except for Alice. Yeah, you've only got room for one iconic girlfriend. I know. Staring off the distance thinking about Allison's taint. Tuck's girlfriends are iconic. Hashtag 2020. 25 summer. They're also very toxic. Okay, so we should should we try and get out of here then? Yes.

No, I know, but I just what if the ceremony is focused on them and they become like you said, gods. We can't let that happen. Right, because we do know one thing that we saw in the ballroom was that just based on how the ballroom was laid out it felt like they were trying to get out of the ballroom. They were trying to summon and bind the gibbous man. What if we go and replace the ink and create a fairy circle around the ceremony stone? He can't break through the circle. Right.

You wouldn't be able to get in a fairy circle. Do you still have a fairy hold? I have one left. Okay. Shit. That's a good call. So we would put the fairy circle around the altar that they would be doing and the ink and the ink which is what they need. Right. They can't bind without the ink or the knife. That's true. Let's just take the ink. So we're assuming that the ink is with the altar I think is something that we're that we are making an assumption about.

Maybe the magi would never leave the ink. They would never leave the ink. So if you want that ink you gotta find the magi. And you see the you look back down the corridor at the efreet. We all three of us like look back and he's like oh he sees you looking and he stops pacing and kind of beckons you towards him. How strong are they? I've never fought an efreet. I've never known anyone who survived a conflict with an efreet. Efreet.

So something to consider is that this appears to be a person who has bound the icon of malice to themselves. Right. Not necessarily a pure efreet. Whether that makes them weaker or stronger you don't know. Okay I'm gonna use my last hold to try and bind them against the wall in a cage of ice. Sure yeah. That's great. So you spend your hold and you like scoop the ice up off the ground and slam them against the wall.

It was when like if we're gonna find we need to find the magi and then we look down and then he motions us and then we're like okay. And then he's like he's just stuck and you all trot past him as he's struggling against the ice. I'm gonna mark him. Oh. Put the eye of the beast on him. Eye of the tiger. Yeah. That's sick. And it's the shadowy heads like two pinpricks of light for eyes struggling in the ice as you mark him. Yeah. And then take off into the castle. Yeah. Okay.

So you make it down several corridors. This place isn't as labyrinthine as you would expect. It's laid out fairly logically. Like it's just a big cube basically with corridors and then there's the new construction glass that comes off of it. That's where it gets kind of hard to navigate because there's like weird greenhouses basically sticking out of different parts of the building. The only other room that you know for sure where it is is Callum's office. We could face Callum. Yeah.

If they're there. Yeah. Let's go. You get there and the door is closed. You see the light flickering from underneath the door jam like you did before. There's a sock on the door. Yeah. There's painting shaking on the wall. Is there actually? No. Can I check under the door? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Maybe trap expert? Sure. Nine plus two, eleven. So I get three questions. Okay. Is there a trap here? There is a trap here. What activates it? Going into this room. What does the trap do?

You are realizing that if Callum is a vessel for the icon of cunning, you could be playing into his hand right now. Gosh. This might be where he wants you to be. What else is hidden here? So you see a closet door and you see like a cane, like a finely wrought cane, metal and wood like brass head leaning against the door and on the cane head you see etched with your binocular vision hither and yon. Hither and yon. And are they in the office? There's nobody in there. It's a trap though.

We know it's a trap. Okay. I would like to do tricks of the trade to try to disable the trap. Okay. So disabling the trap in this sense would be because what you consider the trap is is Callum's ability to make plans for eventualities would be doing something in a way unexpected enough that he wouldn't have planned for that. So this is, I like this a lot. This is very interesting but I'm just curious how Billy is doing this. He would expect us to do something to rush after mirrors.

What if we don't run in there? What if we open the door and we don't step in? Ooh. What? Well, I mean, that Freit fellow. Yes. Is going to be following us. That's true. What if we open the door and make it look like we went in? When he comes up I'll eye the tiger room and see what's going on in the hither and yon. Maybe they'll set the trap off. Smart. Send him in there. Yeah. Yeah. Sweet. Okay. And we'll hide in the linen closet next door. Yeah. Which one? Oh, that one.

There's a million thread count blanket in there that you found earlier. Gotta feel this fabric, Billy. I love the idea of a magic item being a one million thread count blanket. You touch it and it's so soft you cum. Okay. So this is I'm happy this being tricks of the trade. Okay. Trying to outthink the icon for the vessel of cunning. Yeah. Plus 630. Seven. So I believe that with that you get a choice between suspicion, danger, or cost. Okay. So danger. Okay.

So the danger, of course, being found and attacked by the Afrit and the cost being leaving hither and yon there without being able to get in. I think danger. What do you think? Yeah. Okay. So you are hiding in the linen closet. Yeah. Everybody's crowded around the keyhole. Yeah. You open the door. Yeah. Oh, you open the door to the office. Make it see like, you know, leave it open a crack so they're not sure. Yeah.

Tuck throws a plate of spaghetti that he was holding in there so that it looks like he was in. Yeah. They're like, oh, we all know he's had spaghetti this whole time. Yeah. Tuck looks at you guys. He says, everybody knows I love spaghetti, right? Everyone saw you take the spaghetti. We all saw it. We cut back to the scenes previously and Tuck is running down the hallway with a plate of spaghetti. I did not notice. He's fighting Afrit. He's got a plate of spaghetti in his hand.

He's feeding a stuffed ocelot yogurt, but he's got a plate of spaghetti in the hand. That's why when he threw the swan, he said, that's a cold meatball. Yeah. All those hilarious spaghetti puns that he made. Oh, that makes way more sense. Okay, I could take off Allison's scarf and then leave it across the door sill and would never leave this behind. It's a huge sacrifice. But it is in Hither and Yon.

Well, no, Hither and Yon is on the other side of the door, so I leave it across the sill of Callum's office. Okay. And then Tuck to comfort himself because he's so sad about losing the scarf, he eats the plate of spaghetti that he has. That he's had. So we flash back and we see we're back in the finest hotel in town. Tuck's on the penthouse looking through a telescope eating a plate of spaghetti. So we're pushing a cart to a hot dog festival. There is spaghetti in Tuck's hand.

There's a plate of spaghetti in my hand. There's always spaghetti everywhere. I can't. So you're hiding in the linen closet. The spaghetti is being eaten. And you hear like a cracking crash as you assume the ifrit breaks out of the ice. And, um. Bing, look into his eyes. He's there in a flash. Yeah, he's woof. And you see him standing in front of the doorway and as he steps into the door I'm sharing with them. Yeah.

You feel like the rage, the rage from malice that exists within the mind of someone who is connected to. Yeah. Bing's hand is on like your wrist and you feel him like. And I feel your fingernails getting longer and digging into my. Oh. So, actually, looking through his eyes, having marked him with the eye of the tiger, um, something that you do feel is that rageful malice but the strain that the Medjay is under maintaining it. Oh.

And as they step through the door and see that you aren't there the shadows kind of melt off of them back into the corners of the room, back into the corridor revealing, you know, the dark robed figure exhausted, like hunched over kind of hand on the door jam. Can we push him in the closet? Oh. With Hither and Yonder? I don't know. I don't know. I just don't. So we know that he can't get into Hither and Yonder at least. But he is in Callum's office. He's in Callum's office.

And what has he triggered in terms of the trap? I think the other Medjay show up. Oh, that's what it is. So like kind of gliding into view out of the darkness two further robed figures step out of the darkness in Callum's office. Oh, shit! And then they confer quietly and then, Bing, you see, through the eyes of this Medjay, the eyes turn towards the linen closet. They know we're here. I'm going to roll a fight with honor. Fuck. Plus? Constitution, I think, for fight with honor? Eight. Plus con.

Great. Okay, so you get what? One chi, two chi? I think two. Two. And you, what, you kick open the door and you get ready for this fight? I kick the doorframe out of the wall and I try and hit one of them. That's cool. Two D6 plus strike. Thanks. Thanks for saying it was cool, Sean. I feel like you've been really not on board with most of the things that I've thought of. Well, only the dumb stuff. Okay. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. Okay, so that's plus strength? Yeah. Eight.

Yeah, so I think you're able to, like, the door kicks off the hinges and flies across the room as one of the Medjay is stepping out and they stumble back as the door hits them. But even as you're watching, you can see them, like, throw their hands up and catch it. Uh-huh. And they are smashing through it. Okay. But you have a moment to act. Billy, do you want to do something or I'm going to fight with honor if you do? I was going to do I'm a bad guy now. Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah, do it.

Okay, I will call upon my winter form. Holy shit. Very nice. Eleven. Oh, shit. Yeah, so I get three hold. My thing didn't work very well, so I feel like I did. Could it possibly be that you wolfed a play of spaghetti in there? Chuck's so cool. Is that what gave us away? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oregano. He's in there. There's a noodle rolling out from under the door. A meatball. A meatball rolls into the room.

A noodle's slowly sticking back into the linen closet. They can hear me going, yum yum yum. Stop twirling it around the fork. I love spaghetti. It's so good. It's literally just Doug being like, yum yum yum yum. And he's like kind of nestling into the million thread count linen. He's getting spaghetti sauce all over him. Just pour linen. Callum's majordomo is gonna kill you. His butler is gonna cut your head off.

Okay, so Billy's got three hold for I'm a bad guy now, which he can spend on a variety of cool moves. Ving has two hold for his fight with honor, which he can spend on a variety of cool moves. Tuck, has a half-eaten plate of spaghetti. No, I finished it. Okay, so he's getting sleepy. I take a debility to his dexterity. Take a debility. Okay, Ving, what's your plan with your hold? I'm gonna deal a damage to a foe within reach. Okay, great, yeah.

The three magi are literally five feet from you, so you can definitely deal your damage to one of them. And what state are they in? Are they like all efreet? Is only one of them an efreet? So, the one that had summoned malice is there, but is not in his malice form and looks very haggard. The other two have different tattoos. Okay. But they're still in human form? They're still in human form, but it looks like they're kind of gearing up for a fight.

But it almost looks like, if you had to guess, they're like hesitant to do it almost. Because, well, that was a thing we saw with the magi. It was like every time Roth summoned a spirit, it tore his body apart. Yeah. It's not good for you. You don't have to do this. It doesn't have to end this way. Oh, that's a good question. I think the one in the front, there's one that's like older, maybe 50s, 60s, but still ropey muscle under their McCollin robes and then the hood.

Like Ralph Fiennes in the new movie? Yeah. Exactly like Ralph Fiennes in that movie where he plays Odysseus. He looks sick in that movie. He does. What does he say? There's only pain. There is only pain. But we will do this. And we need you. Whoa. Confirmed. They need the spirit walker to do this fucking thing. Mm-hmm. Puts his hands up and emotions come towards him. Tuck gets a little bit hard when he sees me. Whoa. Whoa. Vink's so fucking cool.

Glad Jessica looked away for all the crassest hand gestures. Yeah, that was like a thought for me. I see what's going on here. You guys' privacy. Something that you notice as they point at you, Vink, is you're not sure that they're just pointing at you. Ugh. But they rush forward. What do you do? Deal your damage to a foe within sight? I'm gonna try and take one of these guys out. Yeah. With a leg sweep. Four. Four. Pretty good. You clock the old man in the front who stumbles back.

So he kind of goes down on one knee. Slams his knee into the ground. And then one of the other guys goes, whoa, you hit an old man. My boom knee. Whoa, dude. What the fuck? What the fuck, man? Yeah, what's wrong with you? Gramps, are you okay? He goes, oh, my fucking knee. I was in the war. But he is, you know, swiftly regaining his composure. The two younger Medjay are like spreading out on either side, trying to move in on Tuck and Billy. Can I freeze someone, one of them in place?

Oh, yeah, totally. Like, oh, because you're tapping into your winter form. Yep. Yes. Oh, sick. So the frost is like climbing across the floor, like up Billy. Up the powerful one. Yeah. Fuck yes. Oh, up the Afrit one? Well, up both of us at the same time. Oh, yeah. Nice. Cool, yes. I'm like, I keep pushing the frost back down way, like, and it goes in like waves and up the Medjay. Cool, yeah. And as he's like taking steps, like the ice is climbing up his legs.

He's shattering it as he's moving towards you. But then he is eventually unable to continue forward. Wow. Tuck. There's another guy coming for me, right? Yes. Okay. So, Tuck, he's in his duster. Right. Dressed like a cowboy. Anime. Yeah. Covered in spaghetti sauce. Yes. Fuck! Noodles in his beard. I want it to look cool. What? He rubbed his face all over the linens, remember? Oh, right. Yeah, the million. Yeah. Yeah. Million thread count blanket. Yeah. Spaghetti all over. Sure. Yeah.

He walks up to the one of them that's squaring up with him. What does he look like? This one is lean, younger, hair, shaved, like in the way that Fatim shaved his hair, like shaved on the sides, kind of like the braid on the top. Right. Dark hair covered in tattoos. You know, the eye in the middle for the iconic Medjay. Yeah. The demonic Medjay. And then a constellation across his upper chest down his arms. Do I recognize what the constellation? Is? You would have to guess. Yeah.

You'd have to read it for a second. Spout Lore, I guess. Yeah. So that's I rolled six and I have negative two. So it's how do you man? I know how you have a negative two. It's insane. You have a negative two to intelligence. So I think what it is, is you all this is going to if we're talking anime. Yeah. You've got you know, your coat is flapping. Yeah. The spaghetti sauce is flapping off the blanket you have wrapped around your shoulders. Yeah. And I took he doesn't have any weapons.

So he just like raises his fist. Yeah. And there's a leather sound. Yeah. The leather's creaking on the coat that he's wearing. Yeah. And then he squeezes his fist really tight and all of his knuckles pop. Pretty sick. And then he has a little like X-Vane popping. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. X-Vane's on the back. Talks fucking straight edge, bro. What's an X-Vane? You know in anime when they're like really furious and then this little vein popping shows up. Oh, yeah. The like the forehead one. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And the Medjay across from you kind of bounces on his heels a little bit. Yeah. And then gone. What? He like his like his image almost flickers and then he's gone. And then with a failure rocketing in from the side. Boom. Punch to the jaw. Oh, shit. Shit. Spaghetti splattered against the wall. Give me the ball. For a second, you guys think Tuck got his brain punched out. Oh, my God. His tiny little brain. Tuck had a mouth full of spaghetti. Spaghetti. That's a spicy brain.

He was saving for later. He was in your beard. He was saving for later. You've got deadly poison in one cheek and a meatball in the other. Thank God he punched the meatball and not the vial. This is why you get COVID. Get your hands out of your fucking mouth. I haven't left the office in 18 hours. It wouldn't survive that long. That's true. That's probably true. Yeah, it's all in there. It's all in there. Yeah, it looks like my teeth got shot out of my face.

I really like that it's a slow motion, like hard punch. And then just a normal motion meatball against a wall. Oh, wow. D8? D8, yeah. Here we go. Six. Oh, man. Inhale. You're not sure that there wasn't an actual tooth in that. I think that might have actually been his brain. I mean, Vincent, a tooth in there. I smile. I smile. I smile at Billy and I give him a thumbs up and there's like a missing tooth. Oh, no. A bird flying around your head. Your cap. Teamwork. Caving. I love spaghetti.

Spaghetti. Did you see that? Oh, man. Okay, so he's down on the knee. I'm in a sweet position. I'm just going to lunge forward off of my back arm and headbutt him in the head. Great. Are you spending a hold to deal your damage? Yeah. Hell yeah. Three. Yeah, you crack. Yeah, and you crack him and he reels back and you give him a good smack right in the jaw and he stumbles back onto his feet, like uses that momentum to stand back up, but like slumps against the wall and kind of shakes himself off.

It'll be easier for everyone if the three of you just submit. Okay. I'll never submit. And then I want to deal damage to him. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. I think you just spend a hold. I do spend a hold, but my damage when I'm in my winter form, I use 2d6. Oh, yes. Okay, yeah. Holy shit. Ten! Holy fuck. Okay, how does Billy deal this damage in his winter form? Oh, I, because I packed those kitchen knives from the hotel. Oh, nice.

So I take a big one and I spin it around and straight into his chest. Yeah, totally. Whip it into his chest. Yeah, you whip this kitchen knife into this old man's chest. Oh, it's the old guy? Yeah. Yeah, that was the one that, yeah, that Ving was talking to. And he takes the knife right in the chest. Blood coughs up through his mouth and he steps back and looks at the other two and shakes his head, says, not yet, and books down the corridor. What? He runs? Yeah.

Okay, what's going on with the other two guys? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're trying to disengage. They're trying to listen to their leader. Oh. Uh. Oh, I don't want them to go. Yeah. Tuck tries to sucker punch the one that hit him in the face. Okay, yeah. Okay. Hack and slash. He's not paying attention to it for a second. Here we go. Uh, fuck. What is going on with my rolls? I got an eight. Okay. Yeah. Not bad.

That's a seven to nine. Okay. Four. I do four damage. Okay, yeah. Uh, roll a d8. Two. Okay, great. Yeah. Which, uh, is negated by your armor. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So you swing at him. Yes. And it's almost like you're swinging where he was. Oh, fuck. But you feel your hand, like, clip something to the point where it throws him off just a little bit, and he catches you with, like, a tiny little uppercut under the chin. Yeah. And you feel yourself, like, bite your lip. Fuck.

But it's not enough of a punch to really, like, rattle you. Yeah. But yeah, you spit out a little blood. And a little spaghetti, too. There's still some in there. Still some spaghetti in there. And it looks like he is trying to back off. A bunch of ravioli's falling. It's all the ravioli that was in my beard. Where are you getting all this, man? All dude. Passes from around the world. But he's that, like, as you're looking at him, he's, like, flickering out of sight.

And it looks like he's moving away from you. The third one is also, uh, is also there. The mallet. It's frozen, right? Oh, he's, yeah, he's trying to break out of the ice that has frozen him in place. And, uh, seemingly get away. But he's wrapped up in this sheet that Billy has around his legs. So you can see him reach out. Like, pause for a second. Think. And then reach out and start drawing shadows towards him. What do you do? You can either. So here's what I think the. Oh, here.

There are three choices, I think. Let him do this. And then have to face, uh, malice-infused magi. Let him go. And let him do whatever it is his plan is to do. Run to Hither and Yon. I have a fourth option. Okay. That I want to do. As he gathers. Shadows around him. Tuck pushes his hands into the shade that is gathering around the guy. And he wants to grab him and rip him into Hither and Yon. Because I want to keep him as a hostage.

I don't know that Tuck would be able to drag a hostage into Hither and Yon. I couldn't. I don't think Hither and Yon would allow it. So Tuck goes to grab him. And then goes to be like, you're coming with us, buddy. And he kicks Hither and Yon open behind him. And he steps into it. And his hands let go of the guy. Fuck. He just feels his hands release. And then the guy's just standing there. Kind of like, what was that supposed to do? Fuck.

So Tuck runs into the office and drags the guy into Hither and Yon. But it does not work. But Tuck goes through the door. And Mears is behind the bar. What's happening? Mears, what the fuck? Where did you go? What do you mean? Where did you go? We were in the street. We went to a sub shop. And we came back and you were gone. He's standing there with like a frown. He's got a frying pan over his head. I don't know what's going on. I've been stuck here for two days. Where are the others?

They're outside. Yeah. I have one hold. Can I deal damage to him then? Yeah, totally. He's facing away from me. Yep. Six. So six is pretty serious. That's pretty solid damage. How are you dealing damage to him? I am going to run into Hither and Yon. But I throw another kitchen knife. Yeah, totally. So as you're like running past, you whip a knife into his arm. Sure. And it cuts right into the meat of his shoulder.

And he kind of like falls back against Callum's desk with a like, and you through the door. I'm going to use the knife, the element of steel. Ooh. That's the knife in his arm to launch him across the room. Oh, cool. And try and stick him in the wall to make room for me. 2d6 plus dexterity. Okay. Great. Yeah. 12. Oh, yeah. Totally. Yeah. You yank this dude across the room with the knife in his arm. Mm-hmm. And it's like kind of comes out of his shoulder. A little bit and pins him into the wall.

Yeah. And that's that amount of damage is more than enough that he's like hanging there. Oh, kind of. Does he have anything on him? He's got clothes and, you know, pockets and pouches. Pouch. Knife. Ink. Knife in his arm. He doesn't have the stuff on him. In fact, if any of them did, you would guess it was probably the older one. Dang it. But he took off. Mm-hmm. Remember what happened here. I take the. Knife out and get back in there. And he flumps to the ground. Yeah.

And you're in hither and yon. Close the door. Yep. Is it. Does it leave? Do the shutters close? No. Fuck. Absolutely not. What? The shutters are closed, but the bar is not moving. Okay. Like you can tell. They don't reopen. And Mears is just like sitting at the bar. Mears, how can he do this? I don't know. Think. I don't know. This shouldn't be possible. Ask the bar to move. Don't you think I tried? I mean, yeah, I guess. But I thought if we were at back. In here, it would go. No, you.

You all left with that mummy guy. Right. And then the shutters closed. And then I was here. And you couldn't get. What could you get out? Or did you open the. I opened the door and I saw I was in an office. And I. And I saw who I assume was Callum Blackhammer. Did he see you? Yeah, he saw me. He talked to me. What did he say? He said, get comfortable. You're going to be here for a while. And now I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I'm stuck.

Do we have enough time to do a communion whispers with Hither and Yon to try and find out the hold that he has on it? I mean, the only deadline that we have is the ritual. Yeah. So you got all the time you need. But they've definitely suggested that they need one or all of you to complete it. Right. So we might be able to disrupt their plan by just getting Hither and Yon unstuck. Okay. I'd like to spend time here and commune with the whispers of Hither and Yon. That makes sense. Yeah.

To figure out what the fuck's going on. Yeah. Roll plus wisdom. Nine. Oh. Oh. Eight. Do it. Six plus seven. Seven. Seven. Makes it a 10. So a clear vision related to your current situation. That's helpful. How the fuck did Callum do this? Yeah. And how do we undo this? So how Callum did this? And how do you receive this image, I guess, this information? It's the spirits of the land. So maybe it's the collective voice of everyone who's ever used this. Oh, sure. Yeah.

It's manifesting as all of the guests. Yeah. That have taken refuge here. I like that a lot. Yeah. That's cool. That it's like a chorus of all the people who have been in the pub. Oh, like old pub songs. Yeah. Almost. Oh, yeah. It's like, it tells the tale of it. Yeah. You see like an old man, like with a pipe sitting, like in your mind's eye, you see an old man with a pipe sitting in one of the booths, like, whoa, hither and yon's a place that's always been there for them. What needed it?

And it comes to those who need it most when they need it most. And then like a mom with her kids. That are like running around or like coloring on the table. But you know, there are some forces that even hither and yon. Put that down. Put that down, please. Put that down. Put that down. Take it out of your nose. Get that out of there. That's not for, that's not for in your mouth. That's for on the table.

Some forces that even hither and yon couldn't predict, like the icon of tyranny, for example. And then, you know, one of the barkeepers from long ago, a dwarf standing at like a dwarf steps up on a box. Behind the bar and starts like wiping it down. One would assume that in a place like a black glass city where the smog gives power to the icon of tyranny, that the want of hither and yon's guests is secondary to the power of the outer dark. Oh, shit. Then we see chimes coming down the stairs.

A memory of chimes in a younger time. With a towel around his waist. Yes. I was going to say. In a towel. In a towel. And we go, ooh. In a towel. His beard's a little shorter. His hair's a little darker. Tattoos? Yeah, tattoos. Oh, he's always had his tattoos as long as he's, you know, ever since he was a young, young man, he's had these tattoos. And he's kind of folding the towel in that way, you know, where you wrap it around and then you fold it down so it doesn't come off.

And he kind of jumps up and down a couple times to make sure it's not going to come loose. And then, but you see his cum gutters when he rolls it down. Cum gutters? What are those? Is that what you guys are calling it now? Balls? It's the muscles? Oh, jeez. We used to call those sex muscles. Cum gutters. Filthy. Filthy boys. Did you know this? Did you know this? I didn't know this. It's fine. Wow. I take it upon myself to not say cum gutters very often to my lovely wife.

So there's a reason you don't. I gotta get on these brazers. I'm sorry. Brazers on my free site. Gotta get on your free brazer site. No, no, no. Ryan and I have a password to my free pay site.com. So one would assume if Callum was the one that brought it here, holding Tyranny as he does over this place, that he's the only one that could release it. As long as you're here, you're safe. But for how long?

And then all those guests, the din of voices like rises is rising as these hallucinations take flight. They transform and then back to silence as they disappear. And we, I feel like we would have all seen like these total visions, these spectral visions in the bar. Uh, so Tuck has a few moves that actually might be able to disrupt Callum's hold over the bar. Yeah. So I have the lie, which is when you leverage your fundamental lack of truth to overcome a magical or metaphysical danger.

Roll plus con on a 10 plus you ignore the effect completely on a seven to nine. You ignore the immediate danger. But choose one from below minus one ongoing until the threat is dealt with, suffer a D10 damage or threaten or endanger an ally. Yeah. Yeah. So that, I mean, as I wrote that move, that should work. Okay. Yeah. So I want to use the lie.

I, and I'm lying to the bar that Callum does not possess the icon of tyranny and he has no purchase over the bar's ability to respond to the wants of others. Okay. Yeah. Excellent. So I'm going to roll plus con on a 10 plus you ignore the effect completely on a seven going. I'll take D10 damage. That's crazy. Do you even have enough? Yeah. I have 18 left. And he has three armor. Oh, it ignores armor. Oh yeah. It ignores armor for sure. Did it? Yeah. Yeah. Here we go.

Two, two, two, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, eight. Eight. Holy shit. So this is like, I, so I imagine that the metaphysical focal point of Hither and Yon is the bar itself. Uh huh. Whoever laid this bar. However, many years ago. Yeah. This is where it all. Started. Started. This is where all of the power like emanates from is this bar.

All the people that have sat at it, that have taken refuge, that have made friends, that have met loved ones, that have forged relationships, their life infuses the bar in this way. And you kind of like place your hand on the ancient scuffed wood and you tell this lie. Callum Blackhammer does not possess the icon of tyranny and holds no power over you. Yeah. And you feel. You feel the power of the weight of trying to deny the existence of the icon of tyranny in Blackglass City. Yeah.

Tear through you. Oh yeah. Something inside is just ripped apart. I can feel like the coins in my chest. Oh like. Like rejecting the lie. Oh yeah. And kind of getting ripped like. Oh maybe they start like tink, tink, tink like out of your chest. I was thinking ripped backwards into my body. So they start. You start bleeding. Yeah. Yes. As they tear into your flesh. Cause the, it's almost like the icon of tyranny is holding them in place. Yeah. As I command the bar to move. Away from it. Yeah.

And it's the bar starts shifting, but the coins stay in place. Oh yeah. Yeah. Until you break that metaphysical seal. Yes. And then the shutters open. You see the gas lamp streets of the night market district and somebody like the door bangs open. And a guy. Immediately. A guy in like a patch. Tweed suits. Like are you open? And then tuck turns around. He goes. Yup. And then immediately pukes a bunch of blood. And he goes, don't worry. It's just spaghetti. And then he passes out.

And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master. Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma dome. The barbarian Abdul Aziz. Playing Ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers. Take care. And playing fat. Billy the halfling thief. Jessica tie. Goodbye. Thank you to all of our supporters from around the world for supporting the show. If you would like to support Spout Lore, you can join us on patreon at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money, please.

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And so ends the tale of Adventures Three Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly spout more şu şu şu