Episode 2 – Ransack! Ransack! Ransack!

Welcome back to Spout Lore. I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. With me, as always, playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello! Playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Hello! That's the deepest Jessica's voice can go. I broke it. And Bing Bang Zumba the Half-Elf Druid. Paganistic? Elemistic. Elemistic. Elemistic. Elemistic. Elemistic. Elemistic. Elemistic. Elemistic. Elemistic. Elemistic. Elemistic. Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and raddest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. You get to a point where the trees break a little bit. And the trail almost disappears like it washes away from the air. You see ruined houses and what looks like the remnants of a tower. If you see what looks like an old tile roof and tumbled stone scattered on the ground. But some of the tower is still standing.

There's a little square squat like room attached to the side of it. In that ruined clump of buildings, you see figures scrambling about. Oh, there's people in there. Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm going to go down and talk to them. Yeah. And tell them that they were coming up on a settlement that looks to be in like active turmoil. Oh, it does. And it looks like those moving figures were the only figures you saw. Like the scrambling piece. Yeah. Yeah. So there were only like five of them that you saw.

I think we should sneak up. They might have food. We need food. Yeah. I think we should try it. First of all, I asked Wicker what's going on. She just says, no, no, wrong, wrong way. Wrong way. Well, Wicker is telling us this is the wrong way, but I think we need food. Did I? Did I? Did I do something to her? No, she was asleep for a little bit. You realize she kind of dozed off on Daisy and she's looking at Tuck. She's like, wrong way. Why are you so mad at me? Wrong way. He was to lead.

This is the wrong way. He did it. And she's like, not pointing with a finger. Obviously, she's pointing by like, look at her paw. She's like, you wrong. Can you talk like a lolcat? What are you talking? Absolutely not. It's not. It's not 2008. He has other directions. I can't ask other directions. Yeah, she just is. Well, I'm going to put it to the committee. She's saying we need to turn around and go the other direction.

But I saw up there that there's some structures and some people, they look a little frantic, but they might have food. What do you guys want to do? Should we just turn around and go away and try and find food? I need food. We need food. Should I like go ahead and sneak? Yeah, that would be a great thing for Billy to do. Are you still nude? Yes. Great. But I have the raccoon cape. That's true. It's not totally nude. It hides my hair. Okay. So what kind of sneaky things does Billy have?

Puts his hands on his hips and walks towards it. Idiots. And wiggles it about. It's me, the nude boy. So that'll probably be a defy danger dexterity. I think that's mostly how we've handled it. Okay, that's fine. So 2d6 plus dexterity. Oops. Seven. Seven. Close. So you creep into an old cottage. Not much of a floor. The wood is still broken away. There's old furniture and rotten books and stuff like that. Is there any food? Can I see any food? You don't see anything in here.

If there was food, it's long gone. I'm gonna try to get to another building then. Yeah. As you look for a way out of this building to the next one, a figure steps in front of the building and you hear more snuffing and moving around. Through a gap in the wall, you get a good look at the face of one of them. And it is. It's mottled and leathery and sort of a brown green sickly color. Jagged teeth, scavenged armor that looks like it wasn't made for it. It's pretty horrific. Oh. But it's small.

It hunched like a person, but not any kind of person that you've come across. Oh hell, I'm hiding. Because you've only been on the road for what? Less than a year with these guys. So you've never seen anything. You haven't seen anything like this before. Oh yeah, no, I'm hiding. Okay, I'm gonna go hide under one of these old chairs. Okay. Billy crept off and you see him go into a building and you don't see him come back out, but you do see some of the figures move in that direction. So…

What are we gonna do? Do you want to just go try and talk to them? I mean, we're a lot bigger, right? They're just little guys? Yeah, they're quite small. Can we see any weapons or anything? Just armor. You see what looks like might be… They're wearing stuff on their hips or on their backs. People do that a lot in this world. They often carry weapons. Okay, so… Do you want to… I want to hide and do backup and then I'll go and talk to them. Okay. Yep. Okay, I go…

You're gonna go talk to them? Yeah, but I want to appear less intimidating. How? I'm gonna take off my pants. Yeah, I'm gonna take my clothes off. I'm gonna take off my leather underwear and also give all of my weapons to Ving. Okay. And approach them as a naked man holding a branch. Holding a branch. I'll say, this is an olive branch. So, okay, so you step into… And also Ving, if this goes really wrong, you need to go fucking crazy. Because I am fucked if this doesn't work.

If this doesn't go right, you need to turn into the biggest thing you can turn into and go crazy. You need to give me enough time to run away and get my stuff and then come back and fight them. Just let me know when that's gonna happen so I can cue hearts crazy on you. Yeah. Just the chorus though. It does. Okay. So you walk into the town with a branch in your hands. Do you think that Tuck's ever seen a goblin before? I dated a goblin one time. Goblins aren't the kind of things that you date.

Okay, I didn't date her, but I knew her through friends and I was really into her. And I thought I was making progress because I wrote her a lot of slam poetry. I wrote her a lot of slam poetry and I would like, I would head out to her parents place. To her parents place in the country every weekend to see her and like she seemed okay with it. So I figured I was making progress and then she like told me that she was betrothed to a goblin king and I killed him.

And then that caused like a civil war and that was like too heavy for me so I bounced. So you've seen a goblin before? Yeah, they're very beautiful in some ways. Well, okay. Well, these ones aren't necessarily so much. They kind of look like a pile of jagged bones that you left outside too long. Like they're just very upset looking. And when you come in and go, hey, peace exists between our people. You can tell by the way that they look at you that they do not agree. Okay. So they are angry.

They draw weapons. I'm like, whoa. And they're like cackling at you. I'm like, wait, I don't, can't you see how nude I am? They're like getting ready to go. They're like getting ready to attack. Okay, I'm going to roll a parlay. Parlay. You can't, you can't, you don't speak to them. Why? You can't speak to them. They don't speak common. Oh, um, I. They're just like chattering. Like, okay, can I, can I read them one of the poems that I wrote for this goblin girl?

I wrote one of the poems in goblin. Okay, fine. No, wait, you don't have them on you. I remember them. Okay, quick, make it quick. It's a haiku. Okay. I had a friend translate for me. Okay. So this is what the poem. Sure. I'm saying it in goblin. Yeah. I'm saying it in goblin. Okay. So I'm going to roll a two D six plus charisma. Roll a two D six plus charisma. Six. Eight. Fuck me. So what is a, what is a, this was a parlay? Yeah. Oh wait, no, it's not a parlay.

Cause you're not asking them for anything. You're reading a poem to them. Spout Lore. I guess. It's a, it's a. Wait, does it. Roll for a poem. It's just a defy danger charisma. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's defy danger charisma. It's defy danger charisma. It's defy danger charisma. Yeah. So on a seven to nine. They dropped their weapons and start slow clapping. Yeah. But I mean they. So they. So they don't attack you immediately.

One kind of like tiers up a little bit. And it's just like. And the other one that comes and puts his hand on his shoulder. It's a guy. And he kind of walks away. And then the one that put his hand on his shoulder is like. And like follows after him. Like he's chasing after him to make sure he's not hit. Oh. To make sure he's okay, but there's still one standing in front of you with a spear like, do I fight this one? The other ones have left, but Billy's still trapped in the building.

Have they left kind of the vicinity? They're kind of moving around. You might be able to sneak out. I'm going to try. You're going to try? Alright. 2d6 plus dexterity. Four. That is a failure. Yeah, mark a point of experience. And you are like, got it. You ran over with the chair still on top of you? Yeah, you are. You're like moving the chair. Yeah, you're just sitting under the chair like, squeak, squeak, squeak. Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak.

You try and go out the door and you're like, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. You're dragging it through the mud and you're stopping every once in a while. And you get out the door and you get pretty far, actually. You're not really noticing. One of the goblins looks at you and you're kind of squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, moving under the chair and one comes and kicks the chair over and you're just creeping like, I did it.

And the chair flies off of your body and one of them grabs you by the scruff of the raccoon skin and starts picking you up and it has a jagged, rusty knife in its hand. Okay, I jump through. I turn into a Tyrannosaurus Rex. You cannot turn into a Tyrannosaurus Rex. So it has to be something either from the Great Forest or the Frozen North. Oh yeah, what about a Snorunoceros? Snorunoceros? I think we talked about how those are magical animals.

I think you can turn into weird amalgamation animals later on. Wasn't that the ice rhino? Was that what it was called? Oh yeah, the rhinoceros. I think it's the rhinoceros made out of rice. Rice rhinoceros? It's a mundane animal, basically. What about an ostrich horse? A mundane animal. Oh, just something mundane. You're too excited. You're going to fight. If that's what you're doing, are you charging in because you see Billy?

Well, yeah, I go in to step in and I have your weapon, so I need to drop down and give you weapons. Yeah, because if you are holding his stuff and you change shape, it becomes part of your shape. Oh! Because all of your stuff, all of the things that you carry and wear are shapeshifted with you. Oh yeah, okay, so I run in and hand him his… Well, I could just turn into a… No, no, yeah, just turn into a thing with axe hands. Yeah. It's not coming back down. What did he say?

He said it becomes part of his shape. A mundane animal. No, sorry, no. It's just like his clothes. He doesn't burst out of his clothes when he changes shape. Okay. But when he turns back into Ving, he's still wearing clothes. Okay, I'm going to turn into a mountain lion, a puma. Dope. Okay. 2d6 plus wisdom. Cool noise. 10. 10, that's three hold. Formcrafter, what's the stat you want higher? Strength. Strength, yeah, strength is used for hack and slash, so that's smart.

We will say negative one to… I mean, intelligence. It's a wild animal. So are you just straight up attacking something right away? I'm going to go in and pin the guy who's got Billy and get Billy out of the way. I'm going to get rid of his hands. Oh, cool. Hands off Billy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So sprinting that far, we can do that as the hold. Like it's been holding the weapons and… Yeah, dropping the stuff and then you change shape. Yep. And you run right past Tacoma and the spear goblin.

Yeah. So that'll be one hold. No, I bare my teeth and just hold them down. I'm not willing to start a fight, but I'm letting them know that we'll f*** them up. So defy danger, strength, I guess. Yeah. 6 and 3 is 9. Okay. You know that if you pounce on him like that, you're going to hurt him. Yeah. Like he's going to know. They're not that big. No, but this is going to be a fight to him. Yeah.

Like you can either not pounce on him and start a fight or you can hit him and get Billy out of his hands, but know that you're probably going to kill him. Can I speak goblin? Not in a puma form. Definitely not. And also maybe not as a half-out. Maybe you don't speak. Do you speak goblin? Well, I don't mind killing a bunch of goblins, but we might not want to fight. What do you guys think? Well, Tux is so tired. Okay. All right. I'll put them down. Then roll your damage dice. 6. 6.

So you are kind of loping along really low to the ground and you jump straight forward like a battering ram. Billy doesn't move, but the goblin does. It's one of those things where it's fast enough that Billy's like for a second hanging in there. I'm naked, by the way. He's still holding the raccoon. Yeah. He's going to pop out of the skin. You're totally nude. You hit the goblin and you roll a little bit. And when you are on top, like, you know, that weird do that cougar noise. Yeah, it's dead.

You killed it. Oh, you like hammered this thing. The two, the poetry goblin, the cry, the sensitive one. They turn. They see that one of theirs has been killed by this mountain lion thing. And the spear goblin turns and they all draw weapons and they start running. Okay. So how far away am I from the weapon? My weapons that were dropped. There are a few feet behind you. Okay. Can I. Dan is like, you guys good? Yeah. Sitting on the horse like, you okay? Jesus. Okay. I jump.

Can I jump back and grab my shirt? Yeah. Yeah. I do a backwards somersault. You roll on the ground backwards. I do a slow, I do a backwards somersault. And I grab. This is what I want to do. I want to do a backwards somersault. And as I somersault, grab my axe and loop my legs into my. Underwear. Leather underwear. Yeah. That I wear all the time. You know, my pants. Yeah. Totally short pants. I'm not going to make you roll for this. I just want you to know. Oh, why?

Because nobody's attacking you and you're not in danger of failing. So does Tacoma succeed? I guess. But it'd be sick. No. And I'll. Okay, fine. So I'm able to grab the axe, but I miss my pants and I just stand up with the axe. No pants. Totally. Yeah. There are two nude combatants. It's fine. Well, you know what? You try. New stuff. Sometimes it doesn't work. Totally. Yeah. All right. Solidarity. Yeah. So what are you and what are you doing from there?

Like the spear goblins running away from you. Do I have any distance things? No, you don't. Okay. Can I throw my axe? You totally can throw your. All right. We'll say that that's a volley. Yeah. Throw my axe at this guy. 2d6 plus dexterity. Eight. So you can either put yourself in danger to hit this guy. Yeah. And then I'll tell you what the danger is. You can do less damage. And those are the choices. I will. I murdered this guy just by running into him. So they seem pretty weak. Okay.

I'm going to do less damage. Okay. So roll the d10. Okay. One. Now roll a d6. No. One. Yeah. You do zero damage. Cool. Yeah. So does he just whiff? Does he just totally miss? I missed entirely. Just totally right over its head. Yeah. So I go really far over. I over. I love it. It's an air ball. It hits a structure past the guy. Yeah. And that structure collapses. Yeah. Great. So, yeah, you throw it into an old building and crush an old house. Yeah. And the goblin keeps running.

Didn't even notice. Damn it. I use a hold to get at him and take him down. The other. Well, there are three other two others that are running at you right now. So you're just going to jump on one of them. Yeah. If I can get both of them, I can't. We'll say you could probably get one. No. If you spend both your hold, I'll let you kind of pounce from one to the other. Yeah. Yeah. And then you'll be Ving. So roll your damage dice. Four. And roll it one more time. One. Yeah.

You jump on one, sink your claws into his throat, just kill it. Just crush it. Little tiny neck. And you jump to the other one, and it kind of wrestles with you a little bit as you're going down, and you just scrape it along the side and you're Ving again. And it's still struggling underneath you. You know, it seems like you just kind of cut into the old armor that it's wearing. You don't know if you actually made purchase. Billy, help. Yeah.

Billy, you've got the one that one of the poetry ones that ran to Ving. But there's another one coming at you because it sees a little easy to kill boy. You are totally nude. Except that pin in my hair. Oh, you have a tiny little needle in your hair. That pin that Maggie did. So I'm going to pull it out. OK. And then I'm going to. Uh. Catapult myself. Yeah. Try to hit him in the eye. OK, so it's coming at you. So unfortunately, you don't have like the drop on it or anything like that.

So just roll a hack and slash. So Td6 plus your strength, unfortunately. One. That is. How did you get one? Because I have minus one. So she rolled two ones and then minus one. Oh, no, I'm sorry. That is a that is a failure and on a failure. Not. A good thing happens. OK. OK. Such a small boy. It's fine. I can roll a d6. Three.

So you are you know, you're getting ready, you're like, ah, and you jump at it with the needle and as you jump at it, it plants a like gross barefoot right in your chest and just like kicks you out of the air and you kind of hit the ground and roll back and you take three damage. OK. And you're like, oh, I'm going to run. I don't have any weapons. So I'm just going to go fucking crazy. So what are you going for? I'm going for like just can I toss him my spear? Oh, can you toss me a spear?

You sure can. We'll say defy danger. Dexterity. Four. OK. Four. Big throw me your spear. Who? And I. He. What's your fault? You throw it. Really, really hard. Right at you. Yes. So I. So, yeah, you mark a point of experience and you roll your damage die. Or no, Abdul roll a D6 to two. So and you have one natural armor, right? Yeah. So, yeah, you get a spear in your leg, but it doesn't hurt that much. But there's still a spear in your leg, thankfully. So there's a spear, but it's in your leg.

OK, so I'm running. I've got a spear in my leg. Sorry. Yeah. And I'm real mad now. I am not hungry. Or tired. Just pissed. I pull the spear out of my leg and then I do all of the rude gestures I know how to do in Goblin and I'm like, oh, this is the move. What are you waiting for? Yeah. And what is what is what are you waiting for? Do when you cry out to challenge to your challenge, your enemies roll and con plus constitution.

Roll plus constitution on a ten plus they treat you as the most obvious threat to be dealt with and ignore your companions. Take two plus damage on going against them. So on a seven to nine, only a few the weakest or most foolhardy of them fall. Pray to your taunting. Cool. So I'm running for one of them. Yeah. Which ones? Who's in play right now? The poetry of the poetry one is still trying to get to Ving poetry. And one of the other poetry ones just kicked Billy like a soccer ball.

OK, so I'm I think you can handle the poet. So I'm running for the one to kick Billy. Yeah. And I'm trying to attract attention to me. Yeah. So two to six plus constitution. Constitution is one, six, seven, seven. So on a seven to nine, only a few the weakest or most foolhardy. OK, the one that was trying to kill Billy. Yeah. Yeah. It turns around and sees you making the goblin equivalent of the jerk off gesture. Yeah. And it's like, wow. And then it starts running you with a rusty knife.

OK, yeah. So I'm going to take the. Beer, which is in my face. Yeah. And then I'm just going to punch him with my face as hard as I can. OK, to do six plus strike. That's a hack and slash. It would be a hack and slash regardless. Right. It would be. Yeah. But yeah. So that's how I choose to do. Yeah. Great. I love 11. Great. Roll your your damage. Eight you describe how you kill this thing. OK, so we're running at each other. Yeah. He. Wheels back with his knife to stab me. And then I don't.

Yeah. I just run with my fist forward and then I punch as hard as I can in the head. Yeah. No, I feel like connect. I direct the punch down. You just smush it into the earth. And then I smash his head into the ground. Yeah. Turns into jam straight up. Gross. Really gross. Yeah. Yeah. It's down. It's dead. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Obviously. It has no head now. Yeah. And then I toss the spear back to me. OK, it is. Yeah. So there. And I say, thanks. The one the one goblin when let me.

OK, so that one's dead. That one's dead. That one's dead. Two more alive ones under Ving. Not dead yet. Speaking of which, that one like kind of shifts and pulls out like a little jagged piece of metal and it tries to stab you in the side. I have the thing. I mean, I got my. I got the head of you. Yeah. I grab my my spear. Spears aren't really I'm sitting on top of a person weapons. Well, I thought I could hold them down. Yeah, cool. That's cool. I pin I pin his arm down.

Trying to spit in his face. So you're trying to kill this guy or you're trying to pin him down? I'm trying to pin him down. OK. Then that will be a defy danger strength. Me. Eleven. Oh, eleven. OK, yeah. So you pin its arm down with your leg and you kind of press the stick down over its throat and it can't. Yeah, you got it. It can't move. It's quite a bit smaller than you as well. Well, it's basically like we're beating up children. Yeah. You're kind of beating up.

Kids, but like kids sized things. I tell him to call off the other guy. I know that he's dead. No, there's still one more. So you speak goblin. We've just decided that. No, no, nobody speaks goblin. I know that one poem. I can say that poem again. It heard the poem. It's over it. It it I just scream as loud as I can at the other guy. Yeah. Like while I'm holding his friend down, just like madman.

It backs up and it starts fumbling at its side and it pulls out a little dirty horn and it starts to put it to its mouth. What do you guys do? Am I near it? Yeah, you're near. You're pretty close to it, Billy. What do you do? I'm going to try to jump and grab the horn before he puts it to his mouth. Defy danger dexterity. Yes. Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy. Yes. What is that? An 11? Yes. Okay.

So Billy, like blocks like Jordan starts to put up its horn and you just go, you jump up and snatch it out of its hand and it starts running away. Towards me. No, away from you. Cool. Like towards the ruin tower. It's like it's running off. Can I do you want to do a thing where I pick you up and I throw you at it? Okay. I just legs. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So wait, can I throw the horn at you so it doesn't get the horn before? We'll switch. Yeah. Oh, switch. Yeah. I give you the horn. You throw me.

Okay. So defy danger strength. And Billy, you're going to aid. Okay. Seven, eight, nine, 11. Whoa. Okay. So you fastball special Billy. Just tell me how this happens. So I guess I'm like, Billy, let's do that move. We practice. Okay. So I don't really remember it. So I just make it up. So I like ricochet off the mud and then into his hand. I do a little flip. Yeah. And then I throw the horn at his other hand. Yeah. And then I take Billy and I kiss him on the cheek. Yeah. And I.

And I spin like a football. Yeah. And then what happens when you just smack into the goblin? Do you have daggers? Do you want to take a daggers? I have no daggers. I'm naked. Yeah. And that pin is gone. Oh, you have the pin. Oh, the pin's gone. Well, he like. He kicked you. It doesn't mean you dropped it necessarily. Yeah. Go into the back of his knee with your pin. I'm going to do that. You're just going to kill him? No, in the back of the knee. So I injure him. Okay, great. Hamstring.

So you yeah, you just hit him in the back, pin in the leg and it goes down with you on top of it. Hold him down. I'll hold him down. I'll hold him down as best I can. But it's not really. I don't really. Hold it down. Just mean it is really bad. And yeah, you've got three dead goblins and two live goblins. Okay, cool. How do we and how do we interrogate? So as the as the the fight seems to have ceased, Dan leads Daisy into the little town, so it's done there, subdued you guys. You did it.

It's a great job, everybody. I saw the fight from back there. It was awesome. I was really rooting for you guys. What's the plan? Why are you called Colonel anyways? It was a nickname. Yeah, that's the plan. Well, we had to figure out how to talk to these things because I only know. Oh, one poem. No, I it's cool. I yeah. Okay. No, I can. I can talk to them. What? What? I just like they're not nice, right? Yeah, you can see. I'm aware of that, Dan. Yeah. So now that they're.

Indisposed like this is fine, I can do this. You have been able to speak out in this whole time. The whole time. Well, this is the first time we've seen a goblin together, isn't it? Yeah, but you saw me do the thing where I got naked and then I walked up to it to like. I hate you. I don't. Yeah, that's. I also saw them put a little bit of goblin blood on Dan's face and say, this is on you. Okay. I deserve that. I deserved it. So what do we piece of shit if he has any food? Okay. Okay.

It's been a while. I'm a little rusty. Fucking Dan. You serious? He he he he walks up to it. The one that that you're sitting on top of because you're just like holding it down. Like, could you talk to this thing and and crutches down? He looks very confused for a second. He's a bad. It. And the goblin barks back in his face like, he's like, oh, wait, no, no, no, no. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I either said. I can't remember if I'm saying food or if I'm saying boxes.

This is and the goblin goes off and he talks to it for a little bit. They chatter back and forth and they start laughing. I'm like, it's like this guy's pretty cool, actually. He's all right. It's basically like they're like pointing at you like the goblin kind of nods at Vang. And he's like, bop bop bop. And Dan's like, bop bop bop. They're like, bop bop bop. Totally. Totally. So, hey, um, oh, wait, you guys making fun of us? No, no, no, no, no.

Not making fun of, you know, we don't have to understand what you're saying to kind of get the tone of it. A lot of a lot of goblin reparte is insults. Cool. That's part of it. You kind of make fun of everything. Well, maybe the goblins have thick skins, but we don't. Anyways, so they say that they have lots of food and that they need it or what? That we can't we they they need to eat. There's a lot we should probably. Go. OK, we're taking some of this food. There's a there's a lot of them.

Goblins. There's a lot. How many and where? He says they're in the tower. They're just over there. What? OK, where's the food? Then that square thing, he says. I think he means I think he means it's a storehouse. I think is what he's trying to say. OK, well, let's get the food and get out of here. Not deal with that army of goblins. If you have a horn now taking call goblins that could come in useful. Yeah, I'm going to keep this horn. Mm hmm. Tell him that that he understands. OK, tell him.

Tell him that I'm sorry that his friend is dead. They weren't friends. Oh, well, that's good. Tell him that I'm taking this horn because he should have known better than to try and fight strangers. It was rude and I did not enjoy it. So I'm taking this and taking his knife and I'm stealing food. And then we're going to go. And next time he should maybe think twice. Before he approaches a stranger like that. That. OK, he understands. Cool. Should we just is everyone cool with that? Sure.

Oh, I was just going to, like, rush to the box and try to unlock it. OK, cool. Before. I don't know how close that tower is. It's fairly close. It's like 40, 50 feet away. How did they not hear us then? You don't know if they're in the tower or above or below. Like, even if they're there, there is a door like the door is closed and there's a door to the tower. There's a door and a door to the square room next to it. I'm going to go to the square room and try to unlock it. OK, sure.

You roll me a tricks of the trade to D6 plus dexterity. Well, plus your dexterity is five. I still failed. So you reach into the lock with the copper needle. Yeah. And you don't know if these things are just if this is a crappy locker, if this needle is just really strong, but you kind of shatter some stuff inside, you feel the lock's not going to move. Damn. And that's the end of our ability to try and get in there. That's the end of your ability to pick that lock. Can we smash the door open?

You probably could. Smash the door open. Can I try and quietly smash this lock? You can try and smash the lock. Can I quietly do it? No, that is not within your. Can I crush it with my hand quietly? Roll a defy danger strength. I get off the guy and holding the spear to one guy's throat and the knife to the other one. And they understand that if they go anywhere, I'll kill them. Yeah, totally. You've killed you killed two goblins in like, you know, a minute. Eight.

So you just crushed the lock in your hand. Yeah. So you just crushed this metal lock in your hand and it falls away and you open the door and there are sacks of. Goblin crackers. Yeah, there's like sacks of weird food and stuff. It doesn't smell great in here, but you do see that some of it is packaged like they stole it from somewhere like it's crates. You also see some weapons and what looks like a little sack of valuables. And you see two goblins going through it.

And they turn as you open the door and they go, I'm going to try for the poem again. Two to six plus charisma. Nine. One. One is like transfixed, but they're like confused. One is confused as it sees you reading like this. This is still poetry. So can I? I want to do the poem. I want to do the poem. But you have. Yeah. It goes to eleven on a nine. They attack their nearest ally. But you also draw their attention in higher. Yeah. Here's your poem.

And it's so yeah, it's so deeply affected that it picks up like a pot and just smashes the goblin in the head. Cool. Like knocking it out totally. And then it it turns to you and picks up a pot and starts swinging it. OK, can I just grab him? Yep. Two to six plus strength. OK. Seven plus two. It smacks you in the head, but it is it is dead because you just like crush its throat. I'm sorry. Yeah. But you hear a lot of movement from nearby. But you now have this like open room full of food.

Ransack, ransack, ransack as fast as we can. We just grab everything we can. I turn into kangaroo and put everything in my pouch. You can't turn into a kangaroo because they don't exist in the forest. But you can turn into some big animal. Yeah. Also, can we just load Daisy up? Dan, do something useful. Yeah. Dan like runs up with Daisy. And he's like, this is it's this or nothing. Yeah. I start putting pearl necklaces around Wicker's neck. Yeah.

There's like a bag of valuables that you can grab. OK. There's a small bag that seems like it's valuable. So you can grab that. Let's steal that. I'll carry one apple at a time. OK. Yeah. Tiny bag. There's like movement. So you want to move fast. Yeah, we're doing that. So each just grab one thing. Right. So bag of food, bag of food, small bag of valuables. One apple. Dan grabs a bag of food. I grab a bunch of weapons. We throw a couple of crates on top of Daisy. She can't carry that much.

Well, one crate. One crate. You grab a bunch of stuff. OK. We just get stuff. Yeah. You try and grab the nice food. OK. I'm going to. I is there anything else? What else? This is this is pretty much all I have. OK, well, I'm and you get like flappy feet kind of hitting stone really close. But I turn into a yak. You turn into a yak. Yeah. Oh, an arctic yak. OK, yeah. Great. Two to six plus plus wisdom just so we can get ready to get out of here. So eight, eight. So that's so that's one hold.

Yeah. So, yeah, you you load up. And as you are like running out, you hop up. There is like sort of a boiling, rolling mass of goblins coming up out of the ground. Oh, I know. And kind of pouring into the storeroom. But they're coming out behind you. So bust out the back door roll or you can. Again, you could spend your hold to. But then I would turn back to Vang. That's true. You would. So roll a two to six plus dexterity. Three plus zero. Three plus zero. So you.

So, OK, so what's going to happen is you. You are running away, like hauling out of the town and one throws a spear, sails through the air, hits you right in the ass. Roll a six. Shit. But three, three. So you take one or two because you have armor. Oh, yeah. And you feel hot. Like the wound feels hotter than normal. But you are off into the woods. Dan is whipping Daisy into a frenzy. Wickers barely hanging on. And so you.

Rip off into the woods with your brand new bags of food and your new valuables, some coin in that weird book and a fancy cup. And it's peaceful for a little bit as you careen through the woods. You think you've left the goblins far enough behind that you should be safe. And you come back onto what appears to be the main trail that you'd left. And things kind of look the same. But you get to a point and Wicker kind of stands up on top of Daisy's head. You see her.

She's got a little nose twitching and she hops down, which she does not do very often. And she approaches a clump of flowers growing under a log on the side of the road out of the mud. It kind of orangey and they're delicate looking. And she walks up to the clump of flowers, sniffs them a little bit and looks back and meows. And you understand that she's saying right way. And she hops back up on the horse and you carry on. We still have time. I think about it. I want to cry.

Thanks for listening. This has been Spout Lore. I have been the game master, Sean. Thank you to Jessica, Paul and Abdul for playing. Thank you to our producer, Wes. And thank you to hecklers for letting us use the upstairs Ratfish Lounge to record. And thank you to Aaron Reid for our super awesome theme song. Thank you for listening and we'll see you next week. And so ends the tale of adventures three. Who tried the best they can.

The dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute. Or do your chores. And for you I gladly Spout Lore.