Episode 17 – Truths

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara, the master of games Joining me as always, playing Ving, the half-elf druid Balloppers Welcome Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai Welcome And playing T'Kermit, Dermot Bob Berion Abdulaziz Hey Fuck you man I was doing a thing We were all doing a thing We were all doing a thing, and you were the only one Yeah, I ruined it No you didn't ruin it, you enriched it with your own specific brand of chaos Just say welcome Welcome And we are here to continue our game of Dungeon World, a game by Adam Coble and Sage LaTorah And when we last left that game, our heroes were in quite a state of duress Tacoma Dome, Mears Foulsmith, and Perel, last name unknown, were having a blast The Purofire, the flagship of the Torch of Makal, was held in the interrogation chamber of the Purofire, the flagship of the Torch of Makal, of Makal's light guard Mears had just given himself up, and almost immediately, Tacoma Dome decided to spit in the face of that sacrifice by throwing uncertainty into the mix The Torch of Makal left with the captain of the Purofire to bring back something that would make the process much clearer and much quicker, if only to make things scarier for the characters Billy and Ving, who were hiding in the corridor outside of the interrogation chamber, hid in a moment of fright and danger Billy diving into a wine barrel, Ving turning into a white bat, and now you're stuck as that bat, as far as we can tell They escaped from the interrogation chamber and enacted a prison break of proportions that are to, frankly, be expected of this group Billy and Ving fled to the top deck while bringing a bunch of terrified light guard warriors in their wake Due to a, there's a bat in the air A bat in my hair sketch they decided to perform for the first time Pirell dug through the ceiling of the deck by turning the wood into, like, a clay-like material to recover their equipment and a bunch of bags of stuff that does not belong to them Awesome As a fight was about to break out, Tuck smashed through the side of the deck and climbed Princess Bride-style with everyone and everything on his back onto the top deck While Billy got to the top deck and then dove over the side and climbed into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box, and then ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box, and then ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box Billy and Ving ran into the box then looked past the torch and the captain directly into young Billy's eyes, asked him what he was, and he said, I am a spring fae of the endless boughs.

So cool. What? What a cool thing to be. And then, listen all y'all, there was a sabotage on the top deck. Tuck mixed it up Jackie Chan style Legend of Drunken Master 2 by people rushing one at a time and Tuck beating the shit out of them. Ving called his Thunderbird companion for help. They then ripped the shit out of all of the sails and lines that they could with some cool synchronized flying acrobatics.

Tuck's help led to a bunch of sails being spread across the deck and the torch of McCall came up with young Billy by the scruff of his neck and said, that's enough. We're going to get to the bottom of this one way or the other. And the truth demon came on deck. Ving saw it as a figure of elfin stature made of bits of forest and black glass and the frozen tundras and Tuck didn't see anything at all. And that is where we find our heroes now. The torch of McCall is holding Billy aloft.

I'm just thinking about that feeling of seeing that thing come up on the deck and Ving being like, what is that? And then Tuck not seeing like what is what and how much more afraid Ving would have been when his best friend didn't see the thing that he was so scared. Yeah. Yeah. Creepy. What do you do? I guess I ask what is what is that? What the hell is that? Who is that? Tuck is just like that is the torch of McCall. No, I'm not talking about him. You idiot.

That thing beside him, that beast, that monster, that the captain because the captain came up to, right? Yeah. Yeah. The captain is there as well. I see a captain. I see Billy and I see the torch of McCall. That hideous beast. He's like, yeah, that old captain gross. Oh, yeah. So old. Saggy skin. Disgusting. Lightguard warriors you see are like extricating themselves from the sail and as they get up and they see the torch of McCall and Ving, obviously they see the demon.

They're like kneeling on the deck with their eyes closed and the torch walks slowly forward. It's that sort of thing where you guys are backing up into a ring as the torch gets closer. So cool. It's like a half circle against the side of the ship. Like what's going to happen? Everybody's tense. You can see the muscles in Perel's hands moving in a weird way. Like he's tensed up for something and Mears is holding his boat or his holding his boat. He doesn't have a sword anymore.

He's got a toy boat. He's got a little. Oh, yeah. No, he's got he's got an or makes sense like a broken or that he has. It's just shaking in his hand. I'm like, what happened to your fucking sword? I don't know. I assume it's in the sail somewhere and the torch walks forward with Billy in his hands. Billy, what are you doing? I'm literally like, if you were just to hold like a little pup like my arms and legs are tucked in. I'm just like, I want to do.

I can't get out of here and I'm trying to avoid looking at that thing behind by me. Oh, yeah, because it's me. It's you. Creepy. Very creepy. What does the bird see? Oh, I don't know. Do you have to roll for it? No, you'd have to ask the bird. Oh, wait. No, you can see through the bird's eyes. Oh, my God. Of course. I don't need to ask what the bird sees. Yeah. I see the bird sees.

The bird is like got one talon on one mast and one on like a bunch of lines and it's just like sitting on top of the boat. Then you look through its eyes for a moment. Yeah. And it's looking down at the deck and it just sees where the elf monster is standing like a roiling pillar of storm clouds and it's got like crackles of lightning through it and different colors of different light and energy. A little incandescent clouds storming. Yeah. Exactly.

The torch walks forward with the demon behind him and says this could have been so easy. This could have been so simple. But now we're going to get the truth one way or the other. Tuck, you see him step to the side and just leave a gap in between him and the captain. But Ving, you see this thing walk towards you. I grab a harpoon. Quivering hand.

The truth demon looks at you Ving and you've got your harpoon in your hand and it's shaking and it's looking at you with eyes that look like stones in a frozen river and it says, who are you? And you say you feel this come out of you. You say, I am Ving Vang Zumba the spirit walker, child of forest and frost, prince of the boreal reach. What? Sick. Wow. Holy shit. You're a prince. Is that too much? Eat shit, that's cool. I've been thinking that Ving's dad is like a member of whatever royalty is.

So Ving is this like exiled prince. Oh my god. And Tuck hears him say this and he is starting to clue into the fact that there's something going on that he can't see. You don't hear anything. I didn't hear the question and I can see that everyone's looking at the gap between the torch and the captain and there's something that I can't see. I'm kind of getting freaked out. Totally. And I also heard Ving say that and I was, I am just like, that wasn't his voice.

Yeah, it was but it's not, it didn't sound like Ving was using his voice. Yeah, it's not how he talks. That's cool. And so Billy and Ving, you see it, look over at Mirrors and ask the same question, who are you? And Mirrors says I am Mirrors Bernadette Faust. Tuck starts laughing his buns off. And he We all start laughing. You can see him blushing and all he says afterwards is I am trying really hard. Oh and then it looks over at Perel heartbreaking and asks, who are you?

And Perel says, I am Perel a wizard. Oh, he didn't mean it. No, this is a and I'm like, no, he's a box. I put my shit in. So Tuck, all of these people around you have just divulged these huge secrets. Ving looks to Tuck like, what's he going to divulge? Is there like a long pause? Is everyone waits for me to say a thing? No, it's just that when the torch hears Perel say I am a wizard, he gently, puts Billy on the deck. Yeah, I scramble to Ving and Tuck.

And I step in front of Perel and he says, you don't want to do this, brother. I follow Tuck and I grab onto Perel's hand and I want to make a shield. Oh, yeah. I think you're trying really hard to. Okay. You're like, magic! We can all hear Billy like self-taught. Yeah. Magic, magic, magic. I can do it. Just let it out. It's no big deal. You've done it before. Yeah, and nothing's happening right now. We can smell some stuff. Some stuff is happening. Something's happening.

And Mears grabs his stupid fucking oar and moves up next to Tuck and does that like, it's a cross in front of me. Don't come any closer. I call down the bird. Okay. What's the bird going to do? It's in behind Perel and puts its wings in. Yeah. It drops like talons on the side of the boat right behind Perel and its wings go out in a very predatory and like threat display kind of manner. And everyone that was close to the deck is backing up. They were fine.

They were like, okay, we're going to take down these nerds and then the birds there and they all kind of back up a little bit like, oh, fuck. And the torch moves forward and says, it's done. We know he's a wizard. Just give him to us. Go on your way. Best case scenario for you right now is you leave and we do not accuse you of aiding and abetting a dangerous individual. Uh, no. It's not going to happen. That's right. You're going to have to fucking kill us if you want this nerd.

That was the next plan, yes. Okay, so you all surround Perel and you can… You can see him breathing really hard but he's looking at all of you. He's like, just stall them. Somebody get in front of me. I'm in front. The bat jumps in front. And I guess Tuck's pretty close. He's a good… He's good cover. I'm in front too. And the torch is just like basically trying to monologue. He's saying like, wizards were responsible for a massive period of death and destruction. Oh, blah, blah, blah.

I've heard it a million times. You don't understand the dangers, the potential threats that this individual poses to the world at large. I know. Look at those pants. Am I right? Offensive. Look at this fucking crime of fashion. He's got the hat and the fucking feather again. And I'm like, that was six fucking coins that he spent on that feather. Somebody roll to like distract them. Who is the most charisma? I have plus one charisma. I have plus one. I have plus two. Yeah, maybe Tuck. Okay.

I'm just arguing. I'm like, you're condoning a genocide? Okay, dude, that's fucking weird. Twelve. Okay, yeah. He's like, it's not genocide. I'm protecting the world from mass death. By causing mass death. The death of one is not mass death. He's the last one. Maybe that's the way it should be. Just step aside. And when he says that, I… Try and commune with the ex to see what the fuck everyone is looking at. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What's that move? For the blood god? Oh, yeah.

You're initiated in the old ways, the ways of sacrifice. Choose something from your god's value. Blood, gold, bones, or the like. When you sacrifice those things as per your rites and rituals, on a ten plus, the GM will grant you insight into your current trouble or a boon to help you. On a seven to nine, the sacrifice is not enough and your god's take of your flesh as well, but still grants some insight or boon. Spooky. Very spooky. Yeah. So, I'm gonna roll first. Two to six plus wisdom.

Oh, yeah. Nine. So, it's like you basically just cut your hand. I am aware that Perel is still wanting to stall. So, I take the axe and I cut a massive slice across my chest. Oh! And I'm like, you're not crossing this line. And I point to the, like, blood that's seeping out. I'm talking about this one on my chest I just made. Do you get the intimation? Yeah. It's actually a very cool thing to say. Yes. You're like, I'm the line. Yeah. You gotta get past me.

Sometimes people draw the line in front of them, but I drew it here. Look. You see it? Yes. So, you feel Larry, Terry, and Chad in the axe. And after you say you're not crossing this line, you hear them say, that's a pretty cool thing to say, man. That was pretty tight. What's going on? What do you need? I want to see what everyone else is seeing. You don't see it? No. What is it? Oh, just a sec, man. And you feel the axe, like, vibrate in your hand very gently.

And you see a very old, very tired-looking man. Hmm. Just a guy. Like, sagging skin, just tired bones. And I feel coming through, through the axe, a question. Mm-hmm. And I feel myself go, what are you? Oh. And I ask the old man that. Uh-huh. And his eyes come up, and he looks surprised that you addressed him, almost happy to talk to someone. And he says, I am Ama Morani, scholar, vessel for the icon of truth. Mm-hmm. What's the boon?

The boon is that you see an old man standing there, and you realize, oh, whatever this is, at its core, it's a person. Like, this is just an old, frail man. Whatever hold it has on everyone, it doesn't seem to have on you for whatever reason. Mm-hmm. But there's just a human person in here. Mm-hmm. Yeah. What do you see, Tuck? And I look at the torch, and I'm like, Mm-hmm. I see a slave. That's dope. Sick line. Sick line. We keep talking about the lines we just said over and over again.

This is so fun. And this whole time you've heard Perel kind of shuffling. Is anybody looking at Perel? I'll look at Perel. So you see just the end of this. The handkerchief that he had in his sleeve has grown up his arm across his chest, across his other arm as well. And then down his body and his robes. It's his full wizard's robes. And you can feel the waves of magic coming off him stronger, much stronger than they were before. Yeah, I feel it in my body too because I'm holding him.

Exactly, yeah. And you feel the robe push past you as it fills out. And he takes his hat off and he says, Tacoma, brace yourself. And I hunker down on the axe, I guess. And I'm like, huh. And he… Billy, you see him throw his hands down to either side and the magic just courses out of him as this entire side of the deck of the ship turns to mud. You all just drop and slide off into the ocean and land on one of the lifeboats that was lowered down halfway down the deck. Whoa.

And the whole thing just like buckles under your weight and the ropes start to snap and fall down towards the water. Landslide of a boat. Yeah. And Mears goes, ah! And he throws his oar in the air and goes, okay, what do we do now? We're all covered in this. We're all covered in this. This is disgusting wood mud. This smells like fucking squirrel diarrhea. And Perel is like, that was as far as I thought. Can anyone move this thing? Oh, can I do like the left…

It's almost like the leftover magic from him. I have to like blast out my body, like diarrhea, basically. But not actual diarrhea. Yeah. No, like just shunt it into the water. Yeah. I want to get out of bat form. Can I do anything with that? Can Vink jump into the water and drink it in into the gills? What if that power kind of… Propels you shape shift into like a marine creature? That's what I was hoping for. Oh. I just imagine you breathing in that magic into your gills and it's just like…

Yeah. And then you transform. Yeah, that's what I was hoping for. Yeah. Thanks. Totally. So that sounds like maybe a shape shift with like an aid from Billy. Sure. With his little magic shunt. Although, Billy, we've said in the past when you use magic like this, there is a price. But I mean, it depends on how the aid goes, I guess. So Vink 2D6 Plus Wisdom. Billy 2D6 Plus Bond. 12. Fuck. 12. Fuck. No, I think this is like a perfectly synchronized. Those roles are both so good. Woo.

So yeah, this like kaleidoscope of colored magic energy bursts into the water like an oil slick. Yeah. Billy's like, I need to get rid of this. And Vink's like, I have an idea. And he jumps over the side of the boat. And he said, put your hands on my gills. And Billy puts his hands on his gills. Yeah. And then… And it just comes out. Like, I can't even contain it. Just let it go, Billy. Just let it all go.

Pouring out of Vink's mouth and his eyes as he's growing huge and turning into a gigantic orca. Killer whale. Cool. Killer whales and thunderbirds go great together. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. There's actually a lot of myths about killer whales and thunderbirds. Really? Yeah. Cool. He grabs the line, the lead line off the front. Yeah. Toes the boat. Totally. And where are you taking the boat? Where's the safest place to go? I thought we would run away from them to the cave. Yeah. Cave is the safest.

Yeah. So we're over here. The cave's over there. Yeah. Because their cave entrance is not super hidden. Like, their original one is kind of hidden, but not really. But you do know they have a secret harbor. Right. Oh, yeah. The one we said goodbye to Allison. Yeah. Let's go to the secret harbor. The cave harbor. Head to the cave harbor. Give me one of those hold. Hold spent. It's yours. And as we're going away, I want to look back and see if I can see this Amma. What? Is that what he said? Yeah.

Amma. Yeah. So his name is Amma Marrani? Yeah. He's the guy who started the library? He said that was his last name, and he said that he was a scholar. Okay. Yeah. And that he was the vessel for the icon of truth. Yeah. So I look back. Everybody's scrambling. Like, the warriors in the deckhands are freaking out trying to get the boat moving. There's people sliding in the water down the mud. Yeah. People fell. They're like, wow. Different parts of the deck continue to turn to mud. Whoa.

So people are just tumbling into the ocean or falling through the deck. The boat is listing to the side. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because it's losing equilibrium. Yeah. It's got a huge hole in it. It's titanium. It's like the Titanic King? Yeah. Oh, no. It goes up vertical, and then it snaps the end. Like the Titanic. Yeah. The transformation's spreading out the middle, so it's losing structural integrity. Yeah. Yeah. Center first, too. It's slower than that.

You don't know what'll happen after you leave, but it's definitely starting to crack. We can hear. And you can just see Tuck looking back. You can see the man that called himself Amma with his hands on a part of the deck that is still intact, just watching you sadly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I turn around, and I was like, well, that was a bummer, right? Yeah. It was so weird to see myself like that. What did you see? What did you see? I saw old nerds. Did they look like you?

No, nothing like me. What did you guys see? I saw myself, but weird. I don't know. What do you mean weird? Like fancy, but also nature-y. Like if I was a dream boy. Cool. Wow. That's very… I saw something similar, Bill. Real? Yeah, but a monster. Oh, no. Was I that bad? No, you were perfect. What did you see? You mean before I became a fucking whale guy? Oh, yeah. Woo! Oh, yeah. Right, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess we're talking to a whale that's… Yes. He's so excited. This one's not bad.

I like being this one. I saw myself as a monster. From where I'm from, all the places that I've been. As a chimera of my past. It's terrifying. What did Mears see? Yeah, Mears, what did you see? Mears just says… Yeah, I saw a chimera, too. You're lying to us. What did you see? I saw a chimera. I saw a chimera. Tell us what you saw. I saw a chimera, like what Bing said. What's a chimera, Mears? Okay, I don't really understand what I saw. Was it a turnip? Was it a rutabaga? I think you…

I think it was me. But older. He had a metal hand. But… He was alone. Whoa. And I just want to say, Bernadette's a family name. We all start laughing again. Your middle name is Bernadette. It's a family name. I'm not ashamed of it. Wait, was your grandfather's middle name Veronica? Yeah. Okay. The women in our family are greatly respected. Okay. That's nice. Yeah, shut up about it. Okay. And so I guess we'll just cut to the secret harbor.

You pass through these very twisty corridors in a cliff face, and you come to this very wide open cave with a ship that you haven't seen before docked in a natural harbor inside the cave, and Crystal Bay Pirates start freaking out. Oh, it's just us, Milton. It's fine. Yeah, there's a lot of activity, and eventually Milton comes running into the cave and is like, oh, hey, where's a whale? It's me. What? Hey, Milton. And Ruby runs into the cave as well. And I'm like, hey, Ruby.

And we will cut to Ruby's chambers, maybe, like her official office chambers. It's good to get the sense that I've just… I've just been rambling for the whole walk, and I'm like, and that's why it's good to see you in a professional capacity. Tacoma, please. Welcome back to the chambers of the Crystal Bay Pirates, the Ruby Choonsday Pirate Queen. What brings you to my quarters? Are you still a whale? Not at all. Okay, great. I mean, we… I mean, where do we begin?

We got in some trouble by accident, and then… It wasn't our fault. It wasn't our fault. We had to go onto the boat of the light guard to get… Wait. Milton, please, could you leave us for a moment? And he goes, yes, of course, my queen. And he walks backwards out of the room. Waddles, he waddles. He waddles backwards. He waddles backwards. He falls over, and he rolls a couple times backwards. He goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, and ends up in a garbage can. With a banana peel on his head.

And the door just swings shut. Yeah, as you're watching him struggle his way out of a garbage can, it slowly creaks closed. Bing's like, I fucking love that guy. He's a riot. And Ruby's like, you were on the purifier? Yeah, is that what it's called? Yes, the flagship of the Torch of McCall, yes. Yeah, it's very fancy. I'm sure it is. I mean, it was. What do you mean? We fucked it up. Oh, no. Look at all those cool shit we got. Oh, right. I… Oh, you… A bunch of bags of stuff. Yeah, we do.

I was like, oh, right. I totally forgot. We stole this shit, and I just slam it on the ground. Stole this from the light guard. Yeah, I mean, we were trying to get our own stuff back, so it was more of kind of like a clerical error in reclamation. Why are we trying to justify ourselves to a bunch of pirates? Look at all this cool booty we got. Yeah, you should be proud of us. We were just learning from the best, which is you, of course, Ruby. Yeah.

This is kind of like we were ramping up to the internship, that two-week thing that we're going to do with you by stealing this. We thought it was all makeup. Mm-hmm. Ving obviously winks. She looks in one of the bags and rifles through some stuff and stops for a second and is like, you know what? This isn't worth it. And she closes the bag and throws it back at your feet. She says, you deal with that. So the Torch of McCall, you personally destroyed his ship? Well, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Mostly it was Perel. What state is it in right now? Not good. Like somewhere between a solid and a liquid? So there's time is what you're saying. Oh, yeah. I don't think they're going to get that ship moving for a while. It was tipping over pretty hard. But we might want to make it quick. Yeah, we should leave right now. Yes. Do you have anything that you need to collect? Oh, yes. What? Just a thing of Tug's, not mine. So I'll be right back. Oh, wow. We all forgot. Oh, my God. The VOD. Yeah.

Imagine if we just forgot a wizard monster. No, it was just poop. This is a natural. This is what the character, how our characters are actually react. Wow. Can you imagine if we forgot? God, I can't believe I have to do all the remembering you guys. This is crazy. Oh, yeah. I just want to say that I remember too. There's a lot of shit that I forget on this adventure. But I also remember that stupid VOD. So I'm just going to go get the VODs. If that's cool with you guys. Totally. Yeah.

Go get it. And Ruby's kind of looking around like anyone would tell me what this VOD business is about. Absolutely not. Okay. Tuck, I didn't want to throw you under the bus. What? What? It's his shit. Shit. It's. What? It's his. Right? It's his what? His shit. Billy. Shit like poo, like feces. You can choose a different word. You're right. His poop. Don't choose a dirty one when a clean will do. His butt demons.

If you're going to lie, if you're going to lie to a professional criminal, you're going to have to roll for it. 2D6 plus. Oh, my God. Oh, I got 10. Oh, my God. And she is just like, and it is important to you to recover this feces. I mean, not to me, but to him. Also, he's disgusting. Me look at him. And I look at Ruby and I'm like, yeah, I'm fucked up. I say. He's doing the hand rolling like, yep, yep, yep, yep. I ain't saved my own shit. Stretch it out, bud. Stretch it out. I am so fucked.

Enough. Please. Enough. Enough. Please. Enough. God of the flame. Enough. Immolate my brain. Oh, Lord of fire. Please burn those thoughts from my heart. So embarrassed. So can I go get the shit vase? Absolutely. I wish you would. Okay. I'll be right back. And it's there. Like the vase is still there. And whoop. Whoop. Yeah. Here we go. Let's go. Little boy. The look on Milton's face when Billy just like grabs it like so like runs with it. Looks like he's carrying this thing full of shit.

Thanks for keeping it safe. Yeah. No problem. No problem. And he's still got a banana peel on his head. Yeah. Ruby says the timeline has been moved. We're going to get you out of here as quickly as possible. We're going to launch as soon as we're able, but it's still going to take four or five hours. Is there anything we could do to speed that up? I suppose you could help. Anything else? Yes. You will be crew on this ship. That is important for you to know. Yeah, but we're not like crew.

No, you're crew. 100% crew. There will be a captain. There will be a first mate. Oh, dibs on captain. No. First mate. Oh, yeah. High five. Yeah. We high five. Dang it. Billy, you could be admiral. Fine. Okay. Oh, yeah. That's even bigger. Whoa. I can be the god of the sea. I can be the god of the sea. Ruby. Ruby's just pinching the bridge of her nose. If you have anything that you need to take care of in the next four or five hours, I would recommend doing it quickly.

We should go back to the hotel and get our shit. Mears, go get our shit. Oh, me? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I can do this. Thank you. What do we need? Our fanny pack. And can you also check that Francis is going to be okay? Because I don't know if we're allowed to bring a big pig boy on board. Oh, Francis. No. Oh, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is the fanny pack at the hotel? Yeah. Put Francis in the fanny pack. I'll just put Francis in the fanny pack. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. This is great.

I was scared for a second. I thought we were going to have to leave that big, beautiful fuck behind. Yeah. I was worried that we were going to have fewer NPCs, but good. We get to maintain all of them. Yeah. And we have to also make sure to routinely feed him so he doesn't starve to death in the fanny pack. Yeah, we have to. I'll grab a bunch of hay from the stable. I'll just shove it. It's a bag of holding as well, right? Yeah. Yeah, I'll just. Put some alfalfa in there. He loves alfalfa.

Okay, I will. And he pulls up his hood down over his face so his eyes are covered. You look so cool. Yeah. And he does. Unfortunately, he does a finger gun with his metal finger. And you hear it go clink as he points it. And he does the thing that he did in the hotel where he finger guns and moonwalks out of the roof. It's a pretty long. It's hallway mirrors. Take your time, buddy. And it's uneven stone. So he's like stumbling every once in a while. We're watching the whole time.

Leave it to mirrors. Leave it to mirrors. Watch out for that banana peel. So yeah, mirrors is gone. He's going to go take care of whatever he can and come back as quickly as possible. And Ruby says, you're probably best to stay within the cave. Okay. Yes. Yeah, we're probably pretty wanted. Yeah. We made a lot. People mad at us. So yeah, the customs house. Yeah. The light guard. Uh huh. Uh huh. The DeSom Creek Theater Society. Probably not super stoked because we killed jaunter. Mm hmm.

The people who own the library and the librarians. Right. We burned down that library. And the pomegranate man. I mean, to be fair, the library is still standing. It's just all the books have been erased. And then. Oh, right. Lionel McKenzie King. Whoever that is. I don't know. I doubt that's ever going to come up again. Tuck. Yeah. We'll never see him again. Ever. Cut to. Cut to six years from now. You're out. You're on your farm where you've all retired. A low. Puff of smoke.

Gunslinger walks down the trail. Oh, no. He's loopering us. Can't stand it. I know you planned it. You're like. Running sideways through a WAPL orchard. Shooting guns as WAPLs. This is pretty cool. Around you. I like that. And Ruby's like, I have work to do. Please go. Okay. Is it dinner happening now? Yeah. Did you guys have lunch yet? We haven't eaten lunch or. I don't even know what time it is. I haven't left the caves today. Let's go to the lunchroom. Okay.

Bing's going to do a studied essence. Oh, I need to get some health points back. Oh, yeah. Actually, you guys could like rest. Yeah. That is a move. You have this huge gas. Oh, yeah. I should probably. Can you put some poultice in here? Yeah. I have. It's a green mud from the aisles. The vert grass. Oh, cool. It's got a bunch of algae in it. I'll smear it on there. So when you carefully treat someone's wounds, this will take a while. Like it's like you're slowly applying them.

So you can just do this while you're hanging out. Do it over the course of the rest. Yeah. Okay. When you carefully treat someone's wounds with poultices and herbs, heal them of seven damage and expend to use. Okay, cool. So while we rest, I'm going to lean up against Tuck's beard and like flop it over myself like a little blanket as if I'm going to be a little baby. I'm getting ready to read and I pull out that journal. So are we in the lunchroom? Yeah. Yeah.

There's like a big common area with wooden benches and stuff all over the place. And there's also like rugs and cushions if you want to eat on the floor. There's a bunch of beanbag chairs. Yeah. We're in the beanbag zone. Yeah. That's where they keep all the beans. It's actually just a bunch of sacks of beans that they use for lunch. Fava. Fava beans. Yeah. I'm eating ful, which is like mushed up fava beans mixed with tahini. We're going to learn a lot about Arabic foods. Cool. This is great.

I'm excited. I'm just eating hummus. Yeah. Straight hummus. I thought it was the same thing. He's eating hummus, but he's dipping bergam fruits in it. Oh, no. Bad idea. Oh, no. Ving has got that harpoon and he's fashioning the tip of it, the iron tip. Oh, it's brass. He stole the brass harpoon. Onto his spear. So his spear is getting a new tip. Oh, cool. He's going to start fucking using it. Yeah. I guess you wait and see. I'm into that.

There are actually weapon tags that maybe this new harpoon tip adds to Ving's weapon. Oh, cool. Is there a rope on it? Yeah. He puts a little notch on the bottom of the spear that he can tie a rope to. Oh, cool. I like how your spear's been modded. Your staff was modded into a spear and it's been broken and reforged so many times. Yeah. It reflects the changes in Ving because it was unused for the full time that you were not shapeshifting to. Oh, I like that.

Here you are reborn and here you are recrafting it just as your body has been. I also like the idea that with Ving's harpoon spear, he's just got a coil of rope that's always attached to it that he wears on his belt. Oh, sick. So when you throw it, yeah, you can reel people back in. That's pretty tight. That's really cool. It's a really nice rope too. Yeah. What kind of rope is it? It's just hemp rope. McCollin hemp. McCollin hemp and rope.

And because it was used on that ship, it reeks of saffron. Ooh, magic. It's a demon spear. Yeah. Yeah. So you guys are just kind of chilling. Are you going to like, you're going to do the make a, like make camp move basically rest for a few uninterrupted hours? Yes. Except we're camping in the beanbag common area. Yeah. I'd like to use communion of whispers. Okay. Yeah. What is that?

When you spend time in a place making note of its resident spirits and calling on the spirits of the land, roll plus wisdom, you'll be granted a vision of significance to you, your allies, and the spirits around you. Sick. Yeah. So what are you trying to learn? What do we? Oh, I think. Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Now that we have the, this book. Uh-huh. Do you want to like sit with it? Yeah. Well, I'll sit with Billy and like, cause Billy's going through it. Yeah.

I just want to be present and help in any way he can with trying to attune to the spirit world. If there's anything around this book, Ving wants to see if it's, if this book has a spiritual nature. What if I show you that picture of that like figure? Yeah. I'm like, I feel like I know, should know this person. Like, do you want to help me? I would love to help you. Okay. You can Spout Lore. 2d6 plus intelligence. Eight. Eight. Um, interesting, but not useful. Okay.

So Ving, you're actually reading the words. Billy's looking and trying to intimate like meaning from a lot of stuff. Can Ving understand the runes? Uh, no, it's not all written in runes. Some of it's written in common. Oh, okay. Runes, runes, runes. There are a lot of runes. Yeah. That's the thing is it's not going to be as easy as like flipping through this book for whatever info you want.

Oh, it would be sick if you were like going through it and there was like runes common and then other languages we've never seen before. Yeah, totally. Like he's like switching between languages based on what best captures the ideas that the captain needed to get down. And Ving's like, he feels on some of them, not all of them, but he feels kind of familiar with some of them. And he remembers that he, what he's remembering is he's seen those carved into the stones in the sea of graves. Ooh.

Some of them. Mm-hmm. He recognizes like he doesn't know what they say, but he knows that the Thunderbirds seen them. Yeah. Cool. That's cool. So as you're looking at this page that Billy's showing you being like, this seems familiar. Who is this? You see, there's this drawing of this angular tall figure that's very rough and undetailed, unadorned in its form. But you do see one word that you're able to translate.

It looks like it's a word that you've seen before and it translates roughly to autumn. It says autumn here, I think. Yeah. Does that mean anything to you, Billy? I mean, it's my favorite season. That's about it. Hmm. But the rest is like almost unintelligible. You'd have to really try. Well, can I commune with the whispers? No, there's no point. I think, I think you can try. I don't think you're going to get a spirit off this book. Okay. Yeah. So that's what you get from that page of the book.

Did I pick up anything cool? You have a bunch of bags of shit. Oh, right. I'd say you have like two bags. I'm so bad at remembering. So I want to rummage around in the shit that we stole. And yeah, Tuck's like, holy shit. I keep fucking forgetting we stole all of this. And I pointed a giant pile of bags. Oh, yeah. I blended in with other bean bags. So I start like, like, I take the impenetrable billhook that I still have. And I start like slicing into them.

And then the first one I cut is actually a bean bag. I was like, fuck. Tuck, that's a chair. There's like a cook walking by. He's like, God damn it. Yeah, exactly. What'd you do, you goddamn morons? Those are dry. The floor's wet. They're going to become wet beans now. So most of it is like jewelry and clothing, like nice gloves, some pretty fancy boots, like a vest that won't fit any of you, a bunch of rings. It's probably… Okay, you know what? Roll a D6. Four. Four.

It's about 400 coins worth of shit. Oh, sick. So what is it again? What are the things? There's some clothes, some jewelry, some nice cups. It looks like the light guard kind of just shook down a bunch of people. Ving's like, I'm going to take one of those nice cups. Can you describe that cup to me, Sean? It is made of a beautiful silver material with an inlay of jet and ivory, black and white checkered. It kind of looks ugly. Because there's so many alternating black and white stuff.

Why does everything have to be ugly? Okay, describe a pretty cup. Oh, okay. Wow, that's how you get Jessica back on track. So excited. Okay, the cup is actually black ivory or black glass. And at first it looks boring, but when you hold it up to the light, it's constellations. Whoa. That's awesome. Yeah. That's cool. Sick. Yeah, keep that constellation cup. Universe cup. And then… And then… And then… And then… And then… And then… And then… Is Milton in the room? Yeah, he's there.

How much did you say it was worth? 400 coins. Okay, yeah. I'm like, Milton, do you want the rest of this shit? Yeah, okay. Okay, we don't want it. It's dumb. Okay, thank you. Can you put it back in a bag for me? I'll pick it up later. Fuck you. He's like picking up bowls and stuff. Dude. He's busting the tables. Bust these fucking treasures we just gave you, you loser. Bust them in a second. Where's your bunk? I'll put it in there. It's, you know, it's the one… It's the one… I know.

Wait, what? Nothing. We didn't fuck. We didn't fuck. We did not. We fucked. Oh. What does that mean? Milton's gone. I'll be back later. Billy's like, I have three dads now. Dad number three. That's what you did that night? You had sex with Milton? Yeah. He built a ship in a bottle, banged Milton. Yeah, he built a ship in the bottle, and Milton was hard as a rock as soon as the sails went up. Yeah. Oh, and I should say, throughout all of this, Perel is asleep. Oh, yeah.

Like, he is out on a beanbag. He expended himself so much. Yeah. Yeah. That was… That's the most magic that he's done since he got his body back. I put his hat, like, over his face for some darkness, and I take his, like, weird, I don't know, his silky shirt. Mm-hmm. Take his boots off. Tuck it up. Yeah. I try to take his boots off, but I'm not strong enough. I'm like, oh, well. So tight. Whatever. Just throws all the ripped canvas bags over, and then pushes the pile of beans. Yeah.

I push the beans around him to, like, kind of… It's like when you bury a drunk uncle at the beach. Like, you'll stay warm with ease. Mm. Mm-mm-mm. Yeah. So, universe cup. Cool. Because I already have an idea for what the cup could be, if it's, like, a magic item. Oh, my God. Sick. Yes. Yes. So, specifically, what do you do with the cup? I'm going to drink a glass of wine out of it. Okay. So, yes. You pour wine in it. And it just fills with wine. And you just drink the wine.

This is terrible wine. Yeah. It's like… Actually, you feel the tingle in your chest and through your extremities as you drink the wine. And you look at the bottle, and it's wine wood. Oh. You heal all your shit. Shit. Fucking sweet. How much healing did you need? Five. Five? It is… Healing potions are a… Ten points. Great. Great. So… But what you do is you drink it. You drink the wine. You finish it. You're like, okay, pretty good. And you just put it down on the table.

You walk past it later as you're hanging out. And you're like, oh, it's full again. But you take a look at it. And it is filled with a translucent syrupy liquid, silver in color. It smells like rotting lemons. Gross. I was pouring a mason jar. So, you pour it in a mason jar? Yeah. Like the whole thing? Just pour it out? Yeah. Yeah. And you put it down after you've poured it out. And you walk by later. And it's full again. But of a different liquid. What the fuck? Like…

Billy had gone to go get that cup because he was thirsty. Yeah. And Billy, you take a big sip out of it. And you get a mouthful of like this goo. And you spit it out. And it's like blue. And it smells like garlic. What the fuck? What is this? Somebody could Spout Lore. Yeah. Billy spits it out. It's blue. And he's like, oh, it's very pretty. I want to know more. So, I got eight. Eight. Okay. Something… Something… Something… Something… Interesting. But not useful. Yeah.

You realize that every time you pour out… Like, you do it a couple times. Uh-huh. Because you talk to Ving and you're like, Ving, this has got blue shit in it. Yeah. Is this what you drank before? No. Mine was… Was… Like, lemony. Mm-hmm. And through, like, trial and error, fucking around with the cup, you realize if it's placed on its base while it's empty, it fills with a totally random liquid. Oh. That's dumb. I like it. Ving puts in his… With all those other things.

With all those other stupid shit that nobody likes. Cool. This stuff could be useful. It could be awful. I think one of the times you put it down, it fills with apple juice. Yeah. Oh. Apple juice? I didn't drink it. I accidentally dumped it out. Because I was just doing that, like, dumping it. Yeah. Filling it, dumping it. There's a growing… You're like, gravy. Please, gravy. Come on, gravy. I know. It never was gravy. There's a growing puddle of random liquids beneath Billy.

It's the kind of thing where you turn away from your kid for a second and you look back and it's a disaster now. And you're like, fuck. What the fuck? What are all these liquids coming from? We need to get out of the food court before we get yelled at by the people at Manchu Walk. Exactly. So there will be mechanics involved in this if you guys ever do want to use it. It's just going to be a 2D6 kind of thing. And if you get a good roll, then it can be a substance that's useful to you.

If you get a mixed, it'll be a random. And if you get a bad, it'll be potentially harmful. Okay. So hours pass just in idle, hanging out and fucking around with this new cup that you have. Tuck starts a betting game with the cup. Where people put coins down on like what they think the color and consistency of the liquid are going to be. Yeah. And he points at a guy. He's like, what do you think the color is going to be? I think it's going to be like orange kind of sludge.

And I'm like, put some coins down. I'll put some coins down. Am I getting a spread on orange and sludge? Or does it have to be both? Put it 50-50. Orange, sludge. Orange and sludge. And I'm going to put blue liquid. Okay. Okay. Get ready. And then we put it on the base. Both of you are wrong. It comes out as like… Oh. Oh. It's like a yellow powder. Fuck. But also Billy and Ving, who have been more academic about this, are like, powder? What the fuck? I take that powder. I put it in the jar.

Ving's running out of jars, so I'm like stealing some cups and stuff from the tables and dumping all the salt. Thank you, Billy. You're welcome. So Ruby comes up to a very excited table of people sitting around a cup and throwing coins at each other. Yeah. And like, just we don't… No one knows what the fucking rules of the betting are. We're just like dumping it. And everyone's like, oh. So much. It's a mess. Yeah. And Ruby's like, what are you doing? And we all stop.

I think it's maybe time that we prepare for your voyage upon the powers of the sea. It's time to go. Let's go. All right. Aye, aye, captain. And he points a tuck. That's right, first mate. You will not be the captain. And you will not be the first mate. You are deckhands. Oh, excuse me? Deckhands. You will start upon the lowest rungs of the Crystal Bay Pirates hierarchy and work your way up as I'll have. At the edge of a blade or at the end of a sentence. Like if you do good diplomacy.

Can we just come on? All right. Let's go. Where's the small one? He's… You mean the admiral? Sorry, the medium sized one. Oh, right. Is Mears back? Mears hustles in like sweating. Like, it was bad. It was not good. It was really stressful. What happened? Oh, I already fell in the hallway as I was leaving. I scraped my butt pretty bad. We all saw that. Yeah. It hurt really, really not good. And those customs people are pissed. They're looking. They're out in the harbors right now.

They're going up and down the coast. It's going to be a pain in the ass. Can we cut to like a really quick a flashback to what Mears was dealing with? Yeah. A customs guard is running down an alley really frantically with a lantern held aloft in the dark alley and turns a corner and sees two people making out. And it's like, oh, sorry. Go about your business. Sorry for interrupting. And turns around and it's just Mears doing that behind the back trick. I imagine him being like, oh, Cam. Yeah.

Oh, Cam. And then the guy leaves and he turns around and he's like, Mears. Then the next montage is him popping out of a dumpster covered in fish heads going, Mears. And then him creeping down the hallways, sneaking along the wall really quietly in the emerald. Yeah. And then the emerald as a housekeeper just pushes past him with a cart. And he like puts his face against the wall when the housekeeper passes. And then they pass and he goes, Mears.

He keeps looking into the camera every time he says Mears. Yeah. And then he's in the hotel room and he gathers up all the shit and then cut to him at the front desk saying, we'd like to check out. And that's where we cut back to the Crystal Bay Pirate Cave and he goes, it was rough. Yeah. And Ruby goes, can we please get on the boat? All right. Yeah, let's go. All right. So Ruby leads you into the cave and shows you the ship that you're going to be sailing on.

There's some people loading some last crates. It's pretty sizable. It's more like a cutter though. So it's like, it's a big ship, but it's built for speed, but it has some very obvious cargo room. Yeah. You see the name of the ship on the side is the West Wind. And Ruby's explaining this ship will be in disguise, quote unquote, as a cargo vessel trading with the principalities in McCall.

We have hired a merchant to pretend to be the captain of this vessel during your operations over the next period of time. If anything happens while you're at sea, you are supposed to listen to the orders of the first mate who is actually in our employ. Who's the first mate? The first mate's a pirate. Okay. It's like a pretty badass looking pirate, like curved sword, earring, eye patch, the classic get up. Sick. Like seems like…

Maybe one of the Crystal Bay pirates that's actually pretty good at being a pirate. What's this guy's name? Kingsley. Kingsley. Great. Cool. I be Kingsley. Nice. The pirate, but I be your first mate. Let's get you acquainted with the captain of the vessel. He points behind you and you hear some footsteps on the deck and looking down at the dock, you hear, no fucking way. And you turn around and it's Colonel Dan Derglot. Are you… Are you fucking kidding me?

He goes, guys, it's so good to see you. Oh my God. Take me prisoner instead. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. Oh my God. This has been Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. With me as always playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye everyone. Playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. See ya. Thanks to Aaron Reed for our amazing intro and outro music. Thanks to Adam Coble and Sage LaTorre.

Thanks to Laura for Dungeon World. And thanks to all of you for listening. You can find us on the internet at Spout Lore most places, including Patreon and our website, spelllore.com. And also check out the Spout Lore fan club on Facebook. A lot of fun. Cool people in there. Goodbye, everybody.

And so ends the tale of Adventures Three Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore There's a story to tell