Episode 1 – Kaj’s Place

Let's listen to the theme music. Theme music. Brand new theme song for a brand new season. Ready? Here it is. Three, two, one. Welcome to McCall. We're gonna have a ball. I'm not so good at songs, but welcome. Welcome to McCall. Pretty good. I love that you said you're not good at songs right after you just rhymed. You just badass rhymed a song. I'm not so good at songs, but hey, welcome to McCall. Boom, boom, boom. That's the McCall national anthem.

Yeah, Jessica's doing a dance move that is like, you see it in like 80s music videos that happen in malls. Which was what one? Boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom. Crust it. A bunch of other stuff. McCall. Most of the McCall national anthem is visual. It's pretty confusing for people. Because the dwarves are very like… Yeah. They're very… They're kind of… You know how bumblebees communicate through dance? Dwarves do. Oh. I like that they have a lot of big dance nights, though. Oh, yeah.

That's where things go. Yeah. We work hard. We play hard. Yeah, exactly. We got blood feet tonight. Yeah! Oh. Gather round, friends. Let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief. Who is but nine years old. You know them by name. You know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute. He knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight.

Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief. His tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest, they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smartness. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. There were dice in that as well. Wow. What a way to start. Good day. Good day. Good eye. Good eye, everyone. Season seven. We're all Australian now. We're losing our minds. Welcome to Spellt Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma in the Dome. The Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes. The season ended on a pretty tense note.

You arrived at the eye of the storm, which you discovered to be both a confluence of spiritual and thalmic energy, as well as the tomb of the moon goddess, Lillian, wife of Chimes, the patron of sailors. Perel was pressed to leave the island, but he was able to get out of it. He was able to get out of it, but he was also forced to leave the island. He was forced to leave the island, but he was also forced to leave the island.

He was forced to leave the island, but he was also forced to leave the island. You arrived at the eye of the storm, which you discovered to be both a confluence of spiritual and thalmic energy, as well as the tomb of the moon goddess, Lillian, wife of Chimes, the patron of sailors. Perel was present under the influence of the water monster, whose name we never had a chance to introduce. But it's not Pissmonster. No, it's not.

I was actually going to write a tweet that was like, sometimes I think about how I came up with a villain that was the disembodied ambition of a water monster.

Of a wizard that lives inside magically charged water that it uses to possess and destroy people and a throwaway joke had it named the piss monster for three years isn't it named pilar it is named pilar thank you jessica because that is a name I accidentally originally named perel before switching to perel for some reason I think we just forgot and then we had to think of it again we were like it was like perel the hand sanitizer right yeah but yeah so the water monster was had called itself perel that was the name that it gave itself uh I mean pilar see this is how it happened the first time it's fine it's more of an evil sounding name than perel yeah it sounds a lot nicer than pilar pilar's like saruman yeah yeah totally where a sauron is like really nice sounding gandalf we all know we've all read the lord all been yeah the lord of the rings trilogy we know it there's the for the the friendship of the ring the twin towers you and then return of the mac that's it okay at the tower the tomb of lillian we discovered that the water monster was possessing perel's body in an attempt to release lillian for some dark purpose but because of the things that we introduced and things I didn't consider while we were introducing them the water monster was unsuccessful because it was near impossible to get rid of the water monster and because of the fact that the woman possessed a woman possessed a woman possessed a woman this water and oil thing that made it almost impossible for them to do what they needed to do just like how pearl couldn't cast spells in spirit world exactly ving uh shape-shifted into a thunderbird to talk to the king of the thunderbirds ship breaker into helping them defeat whatever was going on which ended up kind of successful but kind of not in that ship breaker decided to destroy the top of the pillar while also going out to destroy many more places in the world which we haven't found out about yet yeah there's probably stories coming in from sailors that are like it is really bad out there right now who did that who did that there was um a town here I think it's not there anymore it's just glass now where are the people billy in such close contact to spiritual energy started taking on his fairy form and began to forget his life as billy and ving and billy had a really nice kind of spiritual buddy cop scenario they were working on where they yeah ving shape-shifted into the storm right into lightning into lightning a pure bolt of magic lightning which billy then used he guided with like this spiritual core of the axe yeah the axe good yeah I conducted with the axe and then I I was a a a a a a a a a a a Bring it to Tuck.

You destroyed the Bullywugs with it. I remember that. You destroyed all the Bullywugs that Pilar had brought with him. Tuck threw down with the water wizard, who without access to the magics that he was used to, was just transmuting the air into harder air, basically making a hammer out of wind.

While Ving and Billy found the spirit of Perel pushed out of the water monster's body, well, his own body by the water monster, and helped him get back into the body after Tuck finally once and for all severed the connection the water monster had to Perel's body. Yeah, it killed him. And I said that prayer at the end. Right, invoked the killer. The patron of killers. Because it was an execution. Yeah. Because Tuck doesn't usually kill people.

Yeah, Tuck is more like, I'm fighting to defend someone, or I'm fighting because I'm mad. I want to break something, not kill somebody. Yeah. But this force had to leave the world. Yeah. And then after that we went outside and the storm had stopped. At least. And we debated. And you'd seen, you saw the coronet ringing the last remaining moon of the planet. And that is where we ended.

And since then, it has been four months, and you three, for the last season, have been living in the ancient city of McCall. We have arrived in Tuck's homeland. You guys get to see all the bars I got kicked out of as a kid. Abdul will show you the map of McCall that he came up with. Yeah. And we'll broadly talk about the neighborhoods so we have a rough idea of where things are. All right. So the city is broken up into two above-ground regions.

There's the upper ward, which is where the old city used to be. So this is the old dock city. And then down below, there's the lower ward. And that's where all the rich people live because it's closest to the water.

And also, the rich in McCall, we were thinking, would be kind of like the religious right in America, where it's like they're also living down there because they're like, we live close to the god of the flame who's rumored to live in the middle of the broken shores, which is the salt flats. So there are two broad regions of the upper ward. There's cliffside because it's like where the bay used to be and then it drops down underneath.

And like right on the edge of cliffside, there's a neighborhood called the stilts because the cliff is eroding. So all of the roads are wooden and all the houses are on stilts to keep them from falling down. And every few years, there's like a collapse basically. That's why. Like all the poor people live there. And then as you get further out closer to the desert, you get kind of nicer and nicer. This is like sort of the suburbs out here.

And this is called Stepside, like the kind of more suburban neighborhood. So there's cliffside and Stepside and there's the upper ward and the lower ward. And then there's where the dwarves live, which is what we established with Brent, which is underground. And that's the deep ward. So there's three major parts of the city. But I bet there are stairs down to the lower ward.

But when you get down to the lower ward, the light guards, like if you're from the upper ward, they're like, what are you doing here? What the fuck are you doing? They just follow you around. You're not really welcome there if you're from cliffside. Is there anything else important? What else? So the reason McCall exists in the first place is that the lighthouse and the steps that give Stepside the name were built by like an empire of giants that have long since disappeared.

And those are the giants that orcs believe that they're descended from. Like the orc culture is the god of the flame went to war with these giants, defeated them, and were what's left. Yeah. And that's why the tallow road is so wide. It's like a really wide road because it was originally built by the giants. And that's why the city, the lighthouse is much bigger than it should be. Way too big. And it actually goes down to the bottom of the bay. It's the only stable part of cliffside. Yeah. Okay.

So a lot of people build onto it. It's built out of the cliffside? Oh, maybe. Like it's the same stone. As the cliffside? Maybe. Yeah. It could be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the tallow road is named after… Oh, I had no idea. I had an idea for this, actually. I had an idea, too. Okay. Well, you tell me your idea. No, I want to hear both. Was it about candles? Yeah. Yeah, because that was my idea, too. And they brought it in from the port because that's where they would have harvested the…

Oh, my… The giants would have harvested the fat from the giant sea serpents and then brought it in. Oh, yeah. And so the tallow road is named for the fact that it brought candles into the city. Oh. That's so sick. And the horse… And for lamp oil. And candles would be so important in McCall because of all the underground… Yeah. Yeah. And the god of the flame. So there's a religious element to how much they like candles.

Culturally, the dwarves in the Deep Ward are much different than the people up top because they're all basically socialists. They're very pro-union. They think that labor should be protected, workers should be protected, and they care for their community. Like, the people that can work provide for the people that can't work. Everybody's taken care of. Because, actually, Jessica and I were talking about this.

They would consider the craftsmanship put into their society the same as the craftsmanship they put into their work. Yeah. So, like, having a sturdy, well-made society is just… Just as important to them as, like, making good things. Are the dwarves the keepers of the great gravy as well? Of the great gravy? Maybe, because, I mean, like, they take care of the poor as well. And I actually imagine that the poor from up top can come down and, like, get food.

Maybe there's, like, gravy houses where it's just they have really high-quality food they're always making. I wonder how many of those Billy's been banned from so far. Look, we take care of everybody, but there's a line. Come on. You gotta stop. There's a little statue that they pass around that, like, do not let this boy in. Do not, sir. Yeah, and then I'm, like, coming in with all my disguises and they're like, Billy, you gotta stop.

Like, they're really nice to me, but they're like, this is for people who need it. I'm like, but you don't get it. I need it, too. Yeah, they call him Billy the Bottomless Pit. There's a little statue that they pass around to show Billy which one he's allowed to go to. They go, oh, there it is. There's, like, a rumor where they're, like, when they're talking about it, they're like, I heard he out-ate a bear at the Bear in the Chair. It was fucked. The bear got depressed and also got diabetes.

He kind of indirectly killed it when you think about it. Yeah, so that's the basics of McCall. So you've been living here for a few months. Where do you live in McCall? What neighborhood? It's a middle-class neighborhood. But it's on the edge of the stilts. Yeah. Or what the folks call the sticks. So you still live in the Cliffside neighborhood. Which is the poorer area of McCall's upper ward. We're going to post a whole map and explanation of the city of McCall.

But not in the absolute worst part of the city. No. No. No, yeah. Kind of like a sort of a trendy up-and-coming area that used to be pretty rough. Yeah. It's not fully gentrified, but it's still cool. A lot of artists in this part of town. So, like, the Chinatown of McCall? Yeah. But rich people are starting to move in. Yeah, kind of. But you can still kind of find, like, a lot of people who are like, nice apartments if you really dig deep. Yeah. Yeah.

And you are living in a two-bedroom apartment. Like, you know, a pretty regular stone, sandstone building, like the most places in McCall are made out of. You have a roommate. His name is… Oh, my God. Isn't it Plates? No. Casual Plates. Casual Plates. Yes. I hate this name so much. Okay, well, you wanted us to have a roommate and we want to name him Casual Plates. Yeah. So… And we call him Cash. Okay, Cash I'm fine with. Okay. Cash is a name. Maybe his middle name's Ool. Like, man, you will.

Cash Ool. Yeah, Cash Al. Al. Al because it's, like, Arabic. You know… Cash Al. Yeah. Plates. Cash Al Plates. All right, you know what? Casual Plates. We figured it out. That's a name. Casual Plates. I hated it. Cash Al Plates. I can make work. Okay. We've been harassing. We've been trying to show it on Discord for five months to name a character Casual Plates. I'm so relieved right now that we made it a real name. What was the steakhouse you drove by? It was, like, something… Big Mr. Mike's.

Wasn't it, like, Original Joe's? It was, like, an Original Joe's menu? It was Mr. Mike's. Mr. Mike's Steakhouse. Oh, Casual Steakhouse. Casual. That's the thing that didn't make any sense. It was Mr. Mike's Casual Steakhouse. Yeah. It was just like, why is that adjective in the name of this restaurant? Makes me want to eat their lunch. Less. Okay. So you live in a three-bedroom apartment with cash. Three. Two. Well, I mean, I assume… No. I assume…

We all share one room and Cash has one room to himself. All right. We have the small room, too. It's cheaper that way. Because we're paying the small portion of the rent. Yeah. We split rent two ways, Billy. You can live for free. But you know what? Thankfully, it is top floor. There's only two floors, but you're in the top floor. That's not bad. So that's nice. You kind of have a roof that I imagine Ving makes pretty good use of meditative-wise. And Cash, Cash is a totally normal guy.

And you guys have had a real problem with that. Because you're like weird, adventuring, creeps, freaks. And he like works for the city. He's just like a clerk. He does paperwork. To put it not too fine a point on it, he hates you guys. Whose name is on the lease? It's Cash. It's Cash's place. And the kind of thing that's like, oh man, he's a nice enough guy, but like his parents did buy this place for him. Oh, he… Owns it. He owns it. Holy shit. He owns his apartment.

It's not really nice, but his parents did pay for it. And he kind of acts like a dink about it sometimes. But he does need the money because he doesn't get paid very much. And also because he had a girlfriend, but she dumped him a few months ago. And he need a roommate. So his girlfriend lived in the other room? No, they… It was their office. It was her crafting room. Yeah. They're doing work from home stuff. She did pottery. She had a pottery studio and he honestly loved…

They spent too much time in his apartment. If she had… If she had an office or a pottery barn off site, that would have been way better for the relationship. So he's sad and mad. And he works from the city and he comes home and like Billy has like, you know, done whatever Billy does in a one… In a living room. Yeah, cleaned out his side of the fridge. Yeah. Ving has like weird plants in jars all over the place. Tuck is just mostly nude all the time. I put the flap back down.

I was airing it out, man. God. You were… You expected to live in… In this… The confines of this flap all the time? In a common space like the living room? Yes. I do. Put it away. Flip. But something I want to know is what each of you have been up to since you've been in McCall for the last like three, four months. Start with Tuck. I'm working as a bouncer at a punk bar. What's the bar called? It's called Barbarian. Yep. That's what it is. The bar? It was the first one to come up with that.

I didn't… Oh. Maybe it's just called The Bar. Yeah. And people that like that kind of music are called Barbarians because all those shows took place at The Bar. Yeah. And it's a really old… Like, it's like, you know when you go to Germany and there's like punk bars that used to be like churches? Yeah. It's just like 400 years old. All the other buildings are built above ground but this one's carved out of the floor. Yeah. Out of the ground.

And it's actually a huge place because it's from when the city was a giant city. Oh, I bet one of the walls is like one of the foundational walls of the Tallow Road. Oh, yeah. Totally. Which is that main road that goes from McCall and connects it to the ocean. Yeah. It connects to the current bay. Yeah. That's awesome. So one of the walls is just underground is just ancient bricks. Yeah. Huge. Yeah, giant stones. Fucking massive, giant like flagstones. Cool.

And it's like, I don't know if you've ever been in the Biltmore. It's kind of like that vibe where it's like low ceiling, goes really far in. Yeah. Cool. That's really cool. Yeah. I get paid an hourly, but I do get dental. Nice. That's strange for a bar. I know. Yeah. But I guess they just have a good dental plan. Well, I guess we have talked about how McCall is very unionized. It's super socialist. So even if you are contract work, you can get good benefits. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. That's great.

That's how fucked up our actual world is, is that we put benefits into the setting of our fantasy world. And we're all like, wow, wow. This is a really cool thing. Even if you have kind of like a weird part time job, you're not at constant danger of becoming homeless, becoming broke or dead. Yeah. Cool. And during the night, he just like watch a show. I guess he probably works at night. Yeah. He works mostly at night. Yeah. He's just at the door most of the time. Yeah.

He watches shows for bands that he likes. Cool. He'll like duck in and he'll put a trench coat around a rock. He'll put it there. Honestly, it's fine. Nobody tries to start shit. If anybody does try to start shit in a bar like this, they quickly regret it. Bar is kind of like a sort of safe zone between different, like it's like dwarves that go there, orcs go there, humans go there. Even people who live down in the rich neighborhood in the lower ward are like allowed to go there.

And it's like, you don't fuck with people at bar. Yeah. Yeah. Sick. What's my boss's name? Something with a G. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. The orc. What can be Greg? Greg. Greg. Greg. The orc. Okay. Yeah. He's missing a tusk. Yeah. Cool. He's just got the one tusk, but it's like carved. It's a very elaborately carved tusk. Nice. Yeah. He's like older. He's like an old punk, basically. He's like in his 50s. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Grizzled. Huge holes in his ears. Whoa. Yeah. He doesn't wear those things anymore, but his earlobes just droop a lot. Sick. Yeah. Cool. What's Vang been up to? He does outreach with the dwarves. Yeah? Yeah. Cool. What does that look like? He works night shifts. Dwarves are all underground and they're very socialist and they take care of their own and they kind of take care of other people too than poor, but they are mostly underground is what we talked about. Yeah.

They live in the neighborhood called the Deep Ward. Yeah. So he's kind of like a go between the Deep Ward and some of the Upper Wards. Oh, I see. You do outreach to people like the people who need it in the Upper Ward. Yeah, in the sticks. Yeah. Cool. And you and I were talking about it. Vang's had a pretty rough time after the Eye of the Storm and since coming to McCall. Yeah? Oh, yeah. Totally. Yeah. Totally. So let's talk about that a little bit. Oh, God. Okay. What do you want to know?

Well, I mean, I think the biggest thing… No more shape-shifting. Vang cannot shape-shift anymore. He broke his shape-shift. So what has led to Vang not having access to shape-shifting anymore? Well, in order, in order to become the elementalist, he has sacrificed his ability to shape-shift and to take on the forms. Also, he's a vegetarian. He went that too. He's doing that. He's just kind of like, I can't take advantage of other beings.

It's like, he was concentrating on the lower levels of spirituality. The things, the creatures that walk on the earth and spending his time with that and feeling bad about that and now seeing that he was taking advantage of that, he has given up that level that walks on the earth and is into the broader spirituality with the spirit of fire, the spirit of air, the spirit of water. Awesome. Sick.

Yeah, and also he had a real hard time with it because his mom, right, she's a human druid and he felt like he was giving up on that but he also had to let go of that part of his past too. Yeah, that's a huge sacrifice. Wow. Okay. Cool. Yeah, that's really cool. And he's also been studying martial arts which he calls Vinci. Yeah.

And he's been coming up with his own thing and he always, he has a set workout schedule and he always makes sure he goes to that at six o'clock in the morning after he's done his shift doing outreach. So, Vin's just shredded now. Yeah, he's getting pretty shredded. At least after like three months of working out. Sinu shredded. Yeah. Yeah, like dried steak. Just up on the roof like stripped to the waist doing martial arts forms. Yeah. Yeah. You can see his eight pack from the street.

I mean, it's only two floors. It's not that impressive, but. It's pretty impressive. Still cool. Still pretty cool. I feel like Vin is like, when he showed up, he's like that mysterious stranger and all the women were like, ooh. And then now, everyone's just like, holy fuck, that guy's so hot. And a little weird. Very strange. Moss arm. Yeah. Gills. Some kind of monster man. Yeah, so he's really holding his own form wise. Oh. Pretty sweet.

And we're going to release a character creation episode that explains all of the new class changes. So everybody's on the same page because everybody is a completely different class now. So what's Billy been up to in his time in McCall? He goes out at night after Tuck and Ving thinks he's gone to bed. So they tuck him in like a night. He plays like a night, but he goes out and he goes underground to play with like the other thieves in the city, like kid thieves. Cool.

There's a lot of like orphans who like have had to band together. So he'll like play with them or help them out. Sometimes. And it's also like nice and cool underground and he gets to adventure. And then in the daytime, he comes back. He follows Ving back home, but Ving doesn't know. And when Ving goes upstairs on the roof to do his exercise, Billy goes in the fridge, like the icebox and goes to sleep. In the icebox. That's great.

I was going to say that Cash probably doesn't mind living with you all actually because you're gone during the night. But he would probably mind finding Billy in the icebox every morning. But I tell him, I'm like, look, I'm really fat and I don't do well in this heat. And look at my rosacea. It's just so bad. It's the only place I can be comfortable. That's so cute. I love it. Can you give me a name of like one of the orphan thieves that Billy hangs out with? Sure. His name is Kevin. Okay.

Kevin the thief. Oh my God. We're back. We're back, baby. Season seven. There's another thief. A thief named Bethany that I also play with and they're brother and sister and they're about my age, like human life. Billy's still a million years old. What do we do? Well, at first, Billy just like was hanging out mostly for like the fresh air and then like came across these like ragamuffins who they're like, are you another one of us? Like, are you a new one?

And I'm like, yeah, because I didn't know what they're asking. I like that ragamuffin is shorthanded. For like street child. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, I'm also a ragamuffin and they're like, where are your parents? I'm like, I don't know. And they're like, nice. You're in. Yeah. Story checks out. And that was truthful because Billy actually didn't know where we were at that exact moment. Exactly. Yeah. I don't know. Work. Yeah.

So we mostly spend our time like stealing food or clothes and stuff like that. Rooting through like dumpsters, figuring out which ones are our favorite. Yeah. We also play games like we dare each other to go to the water tower to get like the cleanest water from the rich people zone. Nice. Billy's really good at it. Pretty good. Yeah. That's cool. Such a sick kid dare. Yeah.

And then Billy also sometimes teaches them like some tips and tricks, but they can't do it really well because Billy realized that it's like his fairiness. So he uses his binocs to help them. Stuff like that. Oh, and I like that the other kids have taken to doing that. Yeah. Because like it works for Billy. So like, yeah, it works for me too. Yeah. Yeah. That's so cool. Have you guys come across any Afrit? Oh, what do Afrit look like again? They're like. Little shadow demons. Yeah.

They're like made of like shadow and night and they're demons of malice that come out and hunt the urchin kids at night. Yeah. Yeah. Billy sees them all the time. Really? Yeah. Do you see them when other people don't? Yeah. Whoa. Cool. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. Maybe connected to some changes that Billy's undergone lately. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Which we will elaborate in the season seven character creation episode. That's so sick. That's really cool. Have you had to fight any of them?

I never have to fight them. Because you just avoid them. No. Oh. Whoa. They avoid you. Whoa. They avoid Bill. Holy shit. Fuck. That's so sick. That's exciting. That's also sick for like Tuck if he knew it. He doesn't know. But if he did because when he was an urchin he was like. Terrified. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of still is. Billy just talks to the Afrit. Whoa. Whoa. Fuck. Guys. I'm so excited for season seven. I'm so excited too. I'm so excited. So excited. Cool. Okay. Yeah.

So that would be actually so Billy's out and sees Afrit and stuff like that. So something that you would all have realized at this point after living here for a few months is the light guard in McCall are much more prevalent. They're basically the police force of McCall. I think the torches light guard are like an elite force. Basically. They probably have some stupid name like the immolators or something like that. Such fucking deep shit. Yeah.

So yeah, they're basically the FBI to the regular light guards beat cops. Do they have powers? Who can say? Fuck. Not as much as the torch in McCall. The torch in McCall is well known for being like able to command fire, which is insane to people. I want to know how we got from like who picked us up. How do we got here? I guess. Oh, I think Chimes probably Chimes took us all the way. It's like, just come Chives. I don't want to ignore that. I'm Chives. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Yes. Yes.

So I don't think you necessarily went to McCall right away. No, but something that you learned after you defeated Pilar at the eye of the storm is it was a couple weeks. Everything was fine. At first, Perel started acting really sullen and weird and it seemed like he was hiding something and then he came to you thing one night and he explained that he is unable to perform magic. Now. Whoa.

He doesn't know why, but, but he thinks that during the fight, something in him was severed and he can't cast spells anymore. Oh, and he, he's scared and he thinks that if there was a place where he would be able to find out what's wrong with him and what he can do about it, it would be the Margani library. Oh, that makes so much more sense. Great. Great. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So that's why we're here then. Yes. Okay. I guess you guys agreed.

You're like, yeah, dude, we'll help you. Yeah. We don't give a shit about anything. I mean, if there is one precedent in this group, it's that you care about your friends more than the world. And of course, our $5 a day per diem. So you owe us $5 a day to take you to fucking McCall, man. Also the endless gravy that you two promised me. So yeah, we need that five coin a day so we can buy that fucking gravy for Billy. Yeah. Is that a cool hook? Yeah. Yeah.

Perel is magic list and he wants to get into the library. Actually, I thought like I'd forgotten until now, but I was in my head a while ago. I was like, oh, we're going for the library. Well, what I was going to say is that the reason that you're still here is that Perel has been unable to gain access to the library and he's trying really hard, but it's like every day he doesn't live with you guys. I don't think. Where does he live? He probably has his own place with what money?

I mean, like he's not going to live in the same room as all of you. That's not going to happen. Maybe he came to look at the rental. He's like, guys, I thought this was two bedrooms and we're like, yeah, but like cash lives in the other one. He's like, I'm going to get my own place. Yeah. All three of you are living in this room. Yes, you can have your own place with us in this room. Yeah, there's four corners. Yeah, I mean, four of us, there's four of us in four corners.

Let me look something up. That's such a funny kid thing. Something to consider is being adventurers who have traveled the worldwide. You have a shit ton of money. You have more money than some people will ever see in their lives. I think we don't. We haven't clued into the fact that we're rich though. No, but what I'm saying is that you have a decent amount of money. So, Perel, Perel is probably like, can I have a little bit of that money? You're going to buy stupid fucking clothes with it.

No way. You know, he just, I'm saying that he probably has like a quote unquote studio apartment really close by. Oh, cool. Yeah. Yeah. So, it's maybe like even in the same block of buildings. I can imagine him being like, all right, guys, I finished decorating the place. Come take a look. And he just has his old robe pinned to the wall and he's like, what do you think? Hand drawn pictures of frogs everywhere. Don't look at those.

But he also has a gallery of hats and we were like, you used some of the money for hats? Well, I was lucky enough to find a cheap apartment. What? Do I not get a per diem? Yeah. So, Perel lives nearby. He's been trying to get into the library. They're very secretive, very insular. Why? Well, how does he try? I think he's trying to join. Like, he's trying to become a librarian. You have to become a librarian to get into the library.

I think they have a public section, which is like books on botany, books on how to brew beer. Golf digest. We did go one time and there was like a whole row of shelves that were golf digest and then also another row of shelves that were love and lust. And like a whole section of mud affairs that you can't rifle through them because of their porn. I challenge the three of you to come up with another book. Okay. Okay. There is not an entire shelf of love and lust.

One, because that's one title from one book. Golf affairs. Mud weekly. Love and mud. Mud digest. You guys. The farm, the summer, and the beat. There we go. It's a children's book. Yeah. Oh, fun. Yeah. That's cute. Yeah. Halfling wrote it. Billy likes the children's books. He can't read them, but he likes looking at them. It's a pop-up. Yeah. So there's like a public section of the Morgani library that's very sanitized. There's no controversial information. There's no super complicated texts.

And Perel's like, I gotta get into that restricted stuff. I have to. There's tension between the light guard and the librarians, right? Yeah. The light guard under the command of the torch of McCall, which is a surprisingly long time, is much more militant in their hatred of demons as they've been in the past because McCall was a pretty cosmopolitan place for a long time. And there just were demons in the city. And it sucks. Like if we were a problem, absolutely. They killed people.

But like, you know, you could just have a demon of music who lives like down the street and he's totally fine. He's a music teacher, actually. Yeah, exactly. Everybody loves him. He's a facet of the community. But over the last 40, 50 years, it's become like demons are a threat to your safety. They've been demonized. Exactly. Yeah. They're a threat to this city. There's see something, say something posters around. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Block watch. Totally.

People report on their neighbors and they're like, they're a demon for sure. And I bet the library, like what they have available for the public is so sanitized because they are trying to avoid tensions with the light guard. Totally. Yeah. Because the light guard is like, you're hiding something like they believe that the librarians are hiding something, whether it's information. There are rumors that it's actual demons.

When the light guard worship the God of Flame in the library is burned down so much. There's tons of tension there. But I'll bet that it was the fucking light guard. Totally. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Totally. Down the library. And actually, there aren't really clear accounts of that last fire, but it said that the death toll on both sides was pretty high. But there hasn't been an assault on the Margani library in a long, long time. So do people, know it was an assault or is it like that might have been?

They say it was an assault, but they don't know. It's not clear who it was. So it was intentional. It wasn't accidental. Yes. Yeah. Because there was like a battle. Oh. And they were like, somebody burned down the library. We don't know who. Whoa. Yeah. And then that's when they moved into the salt mines. Yeah. So that's kind of the current climate in regards to that. Perel has had a lot of trouble over the last few months in his attempts to get restricted information from the library.

What were some of the attempts? What were some of the attempts? A fake mustache. A real mustache. A real mustache. He tried to grow a mustache. Yeah. It was wispy as fuck. We all made fun of him before. Yeah. Too bad you can't transmute that thing into more hair, eh, bud? So like, he's tried to join the librarians before and he's just been like soundly rejected because he's just not tough enough. Well, because the librarians are also the… They're a martial force, basically.

So like, the librarians are pretty intimidating. And the firefighters. They're pretty intimidating in town, aren't they? You said? Yeah, they fight fires. They organize firefighting forces as well. And so Perel is still in the process of trying to figure out. So he's failed the physical test. Yes. He's been working out too. And you won't let him live it down. Does he work out with Ving? Yeah. I think he's been trying. But he's kind of an older guy. He's like having trouble keeping up.

So that's where we are in the current timeline. We open on morning in your apartment. What does your apartment look like? It's like tiled floors and stone, mostly like walls and stuff. I imagine there's like awnings to keep the sun out. Totally. Oh, yeah. Definitely. I imagine the windows were like, you know, those like thick things that just let light in. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like thick glass blocks that you can't see through. But yeah, it's so tacky. Yeah.

But it's like kind of for heat sort of. It like keeps heat out and lets light in. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. And it's just like a morning, I guess, things on the roof exercising with Perel, who's huffing and puffing as he's trying to do pushups. Tuck is home from work. Yeah. He just got home. He's taking his classic long end of work shit and cash is trying to get into take ready for work. Yeah. And I think it is the kind of thing like I think and it's a long shit. Yeah.

He's like knocking on the door both time wise and physically. Yeah. Tacoma Tacoma just chill out for two seconds. I have to be at work in half an hour. Yeah, but I ate so many bergam fruits at work. So I'm busy clogging the toilet right now. I'm busy clogging the toilet. You know, it's going to happen in here. He just keeps rattling the doorknob and then he stomps away to his room. Billy is oh, I've burrito myself some for some reason I sleep in the icebox, but I still use my blue blanket. Yeah.

For comfort. Well, you know, when you have all the windows open on a winter day and you stay under the blankets so cozy. Yeah. So he's laying there on top of the apples and under the under the burritos under the burritos that touch brought home from the bar and under cash is lunchbox. Yeah. And there's Billy's just rustling around in the ice and then all of a sudden light floods the icebox and cash is standing there like good morning cash. Good morning, Billy. I'm just going to grab my lunch.

Of course. Do you want an apple? Just takes it out of your hand. He wipes it on his shirt. I already cleaned it and it's the nicest one. How much did you clean it? Well, I not with my tongue this time. Like you didn't like it when I licked it clean. So I just rubbed it on my blanket and he walks to the kitchen and he turns on the tap and starts washing it. I try so hard and you never like what I do. I just I got to go to work. I don't want to I'm not going to do this right now.

And he walks the door. He walks over and closes the icebox door and then you hear step step step door open slam. He didn't brush his teeth. That's a good point. He didn't have time. He has to walk. He works all the way in Stepside. So he has to like hustle. Oh, no, right. You said we live in Cliffside. I think you're maybe in that zone between Stepside and Cliffside. There's a lot of disagreement where the two neighborhoods start. It's like, oh, no, it's near. It's near this tea shop.

No, because if it's near that tea shop, I live in Cliffside and I do not live in Cliffside. Right. It's like that kind of thing. So we're like in one of the it's I guess Cliffside is sort of encroaching into Stepside with the gentrification that's sort of on the border. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

So he has to walk all the way to the city if he can't catch one of the trams in the underground and oh, yeah, because we talked about in the episode with Brent, there are trams in the Dwarven underground in the deep ward. So I imagine that there are like entry points for the trams above ground so people can take basically subways across the city because it's a very spread out city. It's sort of like underground mine rail cars. Yeah. Is what they used to be.

And then they were repurposed into trams. Yeah. Dwarves love reusing things. So cool. Yeah. They really love repurposing shit. I like them a lot. Yeah, me too. I love that we made a socialist race. Yeah. I wonder why we're so interested in socialism in our fantasy world. Cool. Yeah. So I think Perel is up there working out with you, Ving. And what's Ving's current exercise that he's doing? It's like a breathing exercise based on whatever animal's closest.

So there's a hummingbird that just came and was eating out of this flower nearby. So he's like, what's wrong, Perel? Can't keep up, old man? And he like, he basically just like falls back on his hands, like catches himself. He's just like, you're not going to get in the library like that. No, I'm not. Stop. Can you stop? Please, please, please stop. He does that hands down thing. Press the air out of him. It's useless, Ving. What? I'm not. I'm just not that kind of person.

What kind of person are you? I am a magician who can't wield magic. He takes his glasses off, which he was wearing while he was exercising, which is probably part of his discomfort. And he's like wiping them on a cloth. If they're not going to accept me like that, that's I'm not going to be able to get in. I won't be able to join the librarians. There's got to be another way in, though.

And he kind of his eyes widen and he jumps up to his feet and he runs down the stairs and he runs to the icebox and he opens the icebox and he looks at Billy. Billy. What? Billy. What? I'm sleeping. You want to help me steal something? Yeah. And I think we cut to the three of you crammed on like the living room couch and Perel standing in front of you with his hands clasped in front of him. It's a lazy boy. I'd like to thank you all for joining me. It's a single person. Yeah.

So I guess I'm sitting on the bottom and then being sitting on my lap and then Billy sitting on his. I was thinking Ving was probably sitting on the arm. I'm perched above Tuck's shoulders. My legs are coming over top of my shoulders. I'm sitting with my butt on the back. I actually I grabbed the ice. I grabbed the ice from the fridge and I'm sitting on it. In a bucket? Yeah. Oh, that's good. So that took a lot longer to get you all here than I would have liked.

This orientation was very confusing and it was kind of pointless. But I'd like to thank you all for joining me nonetheless. Thank you for having us. Yeah. Okay, let's just go around the room. I'm Tacoma Dome the Barbarian. I am Ving the Unknown. You're welcome for us being here. You are Perel. Oh my God. I'm not Perel. Maybe I shouldn't do this. Yeah. Why are we doing this? Why are we doing this? Okay. All right. All right. I would like the three of you to help me break into the Margani Library.

Yeah, I could do that. Yeah, I'm down. I'm sure. Yeah, of course. Really? Yeah. Yeah. You're a friend. I thought this was going to be a way harder sell. I'm so fucking bored at work. I honestly haven't done anything cool or interesting for three months. I work at night. I got my days are free, bud. Yeah. And I mean, I've run around stealing things all night. I mean, like what? Billy, what are you talking about? You've been asleep in the box. Yeah. Yeah. I sleep. I sleep all day and all night.

Why are you making the face that you make when you lie? You're a terrible liar. Billy, where have you been? What have you been stealing? I just like I it's too hot. It's too hot in the house. And so I went down underneath. Yeah. You know where it's cold down to the deep ward. Yeah. And I just, you know, and I met some people. What kind of people, Billy? Kevin and Bethany. OK. And some others. And we just like run around. You're hanging out with urchins. Yeah.

Do you know the rules to stay safe from a freight? No. Do you have any saffron? What the fuck? Are you serious? We told you don't leave the house with a saffron. Yes. Sorry. We told you don't leave the house at night because there's a freight on the street. They're fine. No, they're not. I talk to them all the time. What the fuck are you talking about? You can talk to the freight. Yeah. What are they? Say. They don't have much to say. I talk to them. They're really mad though.

And they're really sad. I think they just need someone to listen. Did either of you know about this? No. No. They don't do anything to me. It's fine. Really? Yeah. Perel pulls a notebook out of his pocket and flips it open and write something down and then closes it. Did you just write down Billy speaks to demons? Sure did. OK. I don't think we're going to forget that. But.

And Chuck takes out an extra bag of saffron that he always has with him and he's like Billy I don't care if you can speak to demons you have to take the saffron with me. I just sometimes I just eat it if I get too hungry. I snatch it away from him like this is to this is to carry not to eat. But you know how hard it is for me to not eat what I'm carrying. So I pull I take one of Cash's Costco muffins out of the freezer and I give it to Billy. I'm like here you eat this. Yeah. And you carry this.

Fine. Say it. No. You point at them and say OK muffin. I eat it. Yes. Saffron. Saffron. I don't eat it. Yes. Can I make a thing that it's encased that Billy can't get in. I mean I guess you could try elemental mastery. That's catastrophic. Open up for catastrophic failure. Oh. Thing is much less. He's good at some really specific things but he's much less broadly powerful than he used to be.

He has like a jar with a like a rock lid on it and he's holding it and he's like thinking about it and like make it in unattainable for Billy for Billy for Billy and then he just tightens it really tight as he can. That's what we do is we just like put it in. Fuck what what seals down really hard. Mason jars. Yeah. We put it in a mason jar and then like reefs on it. Can I roll to make it too tight for him to open? No. I'm going to say you can make it too tight for him to open.

We haven't rolled at all yet. Yeah. Let's roll. Whatever. Roll strength. 2d6 plus strength. Six, seven, eight, nine. Great. So now it's not as effective as you wanted it to be. How are you how are you aiding? What do you mean? I'm my thing is always to rub his shoulders. Bing tightened it and then tucked tight. Oh yeah. I tightened it first. That's great. 2d6 plus bond. Yeah. Okay. Great. Seven plus. Success. So now you have a little jar full of saffron that's too tight for Billy to open.

It's a tiny little jar. Yeah. Yeah. We've attached a little string on it so you can wear it. Okay. I put it on. I'm like, I'm sorry, Tuck. I'm sorry, Bing. Don't be. Don't be sorry. You just got to stay safe. You just scared us. That's all. It's not your fault. Okay. I also forgive you, Billy. Okay. You don't live here, Peril. I live like across the street. Yeah. Well, you don't live here. You're not the boss of me. They're the boss of me. Billy, you're the boss of Billy.

Anyways, Billy, you know kids, little kids? I do. And they're thieves like you, ursians? Yep. Billy, do you know how to get into the library? I could ask. Cool. Okay. Can you get a hold of the kids? Yeah, but not until like tonight. They're busy sleeping right now. Where do you meet them? I can't tell you. Cool. No, that's a good secret. You're a good man. So Billy has the saffron. He apparently is impervious to demonic influence.

Do we let him go meet the kids and then get him to report back tomorrow? I mean, yeah, that's I think I'm comfortable. As long as you have saffron. Also, if you see demons and they're coming for you, find streets made out of wood. Head to the stilts. No, it doesn't matter. They don't bother me. If they do, just remember to head to the sticks. Fine. Yes, I head to the sticks. Head to the sticks. Yes. What do you do when you see a demon that's coming for you? I run to the wood, the sticks. Okay.

Thank you, Billy. Get on a wooden road, okay? They can't get, they can't get you if you're on a wooden road. Yes, Tuck. Tuck is actually so scared of a freak. Of course, yeah. Yeah. So we cut to the middle of the night. Billy goes to meet Kevin and Bethany. Are they human children? Yeah. And where does Billy meet them? Billy meets them. The dwarven stuff we haven't really established. Like the underground, it's just, we just know that it's the deep ward and that there's a lot of stuff going on.

Billy goes to a bakery nearby and he's like, and they keep their windows open at night to air it out. And so he crawls into them and into the basement there's a, like a hatch door that opens up to below where like they usually do like a lot of their like deliveries and shipments. Yeah. And he goes in that way and then he meets them like it's about a five minute walk. Well, maybe there's little passages around town where the vents are, where it moves cool air around the city that you need it.

Oh, true. Yeah. That's why you found them maybe in the middle of the night. Initially, because you were hanging out in the vent, which is the coolest part of it. Oh, that's true. Yeah. I'm just, it's just by a vent. Yeah. So you're sitting by a vent and Kevin and Bethany, when you get to the vent, they're already there. Yeah. Can you describe Kevin and Bethany? Yeah. They both have dark brown hair, darker skin. They're pretty skinny and they're about like four feet tall. How old are they?

They're like nine. Okay. Yeah. What do people in McCall wear? I guess a lot of white. They do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like a Calabella. You know, those like long white dresses that dudes wear? Yeah. Yeah. But they're kind of like dirty and tattered. So they're like definitely not white anymore, but it was a white linen shifts. And it's long sleeve to keep the sun off. Yeah. But theirs have been like worn so much that they've just like cut off or torn off the sleeves.

Yeah. And they mostly hang out at night so they don't play with the sun. And then Kevin's got shorts underneath, like basketball shorts. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. It says and one on the side. Yeah. And Bethany wears ballet slippers that she found in the dumpster. Yeah. Also, Kevin's probably doing this classic Middle Eastern boy thing where he's standing in front of a fan and he's got his shirt up. Yeah. And it's blowing up his shirt. It's blowing up his shirt. Yeah.

You can make a wind tunnel with your shirt. It really cools you down. It's like having air conditioning. Yeah. It's the same. Yeah. And Bethany's doing the same thing too. Cause she's like, oh, you're right. That works really well. Yeah. And Billy comes up. He's like, oh, wind tunnel time. And Kevin looks down. He's like, hey, Billy is really, it was really hot today. Oh, it was. I had to stay in the fridge all day. You go, you see, you have a fridge.

I mean, it's not mine, but yeah, I stay in there. That's so cool. Yeah. The guy who has it, he doesn't like me sleeping in it though. Oh, he sounds like a wiener. Yeah. He kind of is a wiener. Yeah. He sounds like a wiener. That was Bethany. Um, I think it's a, oh, they're, maybe they're twins. Yeah. They're like paternal twins, non-identical twins, Irish twins, Irish twins, just born eight, 10 months after the other one. Oh my God. Yes, exactly. Yeah.

So they're just like, what do we want to do today? Actually, I need your help. Well, a person I know needs your help. Oh, okay. So it's business time. Yeah. And he like straightens his, uh, his outfit and leans up against the wall and puts his hand under his chin. What do you need, pal? Do you guys know how to get into the Morgani library? Yeah. And their eyes both widen and Ben Bethany's like, why would you want to go there?

Well, um, a person I know just needs to read some books and they don't have them available like for everyone. So I just need to help him get in. He's a really nice guy. There's nothing like evil about him for sure. I know that. I know it doesn't sound, it doesn't sound like he wouldn't be evil. Cause me and my friends drew the evil out of him and murdered it. We murdered the evil that was inside of him. It did. I don't know. Billy, that's a pretty dangerous place.

I heard that some kids go in there and they never come out. They never come out. They never come out. Do you know anyone who has? Not personally, but we've heard the stories. Who? I can find them. There was this little kid. His name was Wally, you know, with an R. Oh, Rory. Yeah. Wally. Yeah. Okay. And some other, some other, some other kids dared him to go inside the library and apparently there's a place where he lives. I don't know. I don't know.

Apparently there's a place pretty deep under here somewhere that connects to a part of the library that no one has been in a long time. Oh my gosh. Um, do you know how to find Rory? Nobody found Wally. He went into the library and he never came back. No, but I said, do you know anyone who's gotten out? Oh no. Oh. Sorry. I got a little scared. I got a little scared. I'm thinking about the whole library now. It's okay, Kevin. Have you ever seen a librarian? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. There's a big strong. They can read chapter books. I heard one time there's a kids. His dad. I knew and his dad went and tried to street steal a book and the librarian just hit him one time and he fell white down. He was okay. After a couple days, but he pooped in his pants and I don't want a poop in my pants. Oh, we.

He died in his pants yeah that's that like I heard there's a place I guess I don't know who the fuck I'm doing but I heard there's a place that this is a kid this is another kid another kid this is a dwarven kid that was walking by yeah he's like short and squat and he's like I heard there's a place that the librarians know that they can punch you and you shit your pants uh yeah why bay and uh kevin like steps out into the tunnel and he's like why boy wins are so fast in the tough and he's like chopping at the air and he's kicking and they know all these ways of hitting people it's not good oh man I don't really have a choice but we have to get in there maybe we can find some stuff on how you can get in maybe we can find out where that tunnel was okay I don't know and what I'm basically saying is you gotta roll something yeah okay so I'm gonna use um connections great so what is connections read out connections again it's been a while when you put out world to the criminal underbelly about something that you want or need a role plus crime so on a 10 plus someone has it just for you 2d6 plus charisma oh yeah nice 10 jeez yeah okay someone has it just for you so you just like tell kevin and bethany that you need to know where this entrance is yeah yeah okay I think they probably get back to you with somebody that night but you just kind of hang out yeah near that bakery or whatever yeah I'm just like I'm just standing there at the vent with my shirt up yeah eating baklava yeah just stolen yeah when we cut back to it there's like six kids there they're all just with their shirts up it's pretty nice it's so cold down here we have to take turns like penguins because the vent isn't big enough for all of us so cute also I have this clear memory of doing that exact same thing where it's like I get five minutes on the vent and then I'll run to the kitchen get baklava run back it'll be my turn again yeah oh my god it's amazing it's so funny uh okay yeah so I think kevin and bethany come back in a few hours and they are excited they're still scared but they're like billy billy we we found somebody what they requested to remain anonymous okay that's fine that's what they said yeah but we know okay and I don't know yeah but where is the entrance it's gonna be a problem I'll say that much I was thinking it was the bottom of a well oh that's a good idea so it'd be a well underground so what the wells in cliffside go all the way down to the bottom of the deep ward to like the okay I'm very confused about the wells I think okay yeah because my understanding is that it's like a cistern basically that they haul water up to and then fill oh I was thinking it was like water gets piped to like an underground lake oh okay and then they draw it out of that yeah okay what if the well is covered oh so you don't know where it is yeah like you don't even know where the well is but there is a well it's an old well that they like decommissioned covered up yeah so they say it's somewhere in cliffside is the entrance to this well unfortunately they don't know where the actual entrance to the well is like you can't see it or something no it's like covered up oh they did say that it was somewhere by the lighthouse okay but it's like old and like weird because it's like the white house is like pretty far from the white boy but that's what they said okay thanks kevin no problem billy hey if you go and bring me a picture book yeah of course thank you you're welcome okay okay I'm gonna go find my dad's now okay bye and he turns around he puts a shirt up to the vent immediately it's a huge reveal for kevin that he has dads oh maybe that's just what he thinks because every time billy goes off the day they're like oh my god I'm gonna go find my dad's now I'm gonna go back good luck pal okay you get up there and you find your dad they're out there somewhere you can do it billy wherever they are I'm sure they love you you find him one of these days I will bethany waves bye too bye bethany I'll bring you a book too cool can't like something with like a some heft to it oh like a like a not picture book yeah no like a chapter book whoa wow I'm thinking I'll be able to read one day and when I can I want a nice book okay I'll pick a really good one okay bye Yeah, so he climbs up back through the bakery, and then he listens.

He can hear the bar. So he's like, just running. And he's like, so hard. And then he looks in his pocket. He's like, I guess I don't need all this blocklava. So he takes a bunch out, but he keeps some. Yeah. And what's it like desert pest? Just rats? Lizards. Bunch of rats running out. And a big lizard. A pretty big lizard. A bunch of rats and one big lizard. So I throw one of the treats at the lizard. I'm like, just eat it. Get away from me. Skitters off into a corner. Where's the bar?

It is in Cliffside. Okay. I think it's kind of adjacent to the lighthouse. Sort of down the street a bit, right on the- On the road? On the Tallow Road. Yeah. The Tallow Road goes from the Tallow Gate all the way to the lighthouse. Cool. So yeah, Billy, you get to the bar. You hear like, like really loud music. Coming through the walls. Yeah, so I cover my ears and I run to the entrance where I see Tuck. There's a pretty big crowd. Like it's night. It's McCall's nightlife. It's Thrummond.

Oh God. I'm talking to an asshole at the front of the line. Bro, I'm on the list. There isn't a list. Let me see the list. The list is me deciding if you're cool or not. There's not a physical list? No. Then why do you have a list? This is a grocery list. I want to see your manager, bro. I want to see your manager. So I call Greg. I'm like, Greg, this guy wants to talk to you. What do you want? Oh God. Don't make me do this. You set the situation up. I did. What do you want? I'm on the list.

I can't do it. I'm on the list, man. There's no list. But I… Okay, fine. I'm not on the list. I assume there was a list. It's a trick that's worked before. Get the fuck out of here, bro. He just leaves. He just goes to the end of the lineup. Okay, I'm trying to make up my words. Back of the line. Yeah. And Billy comes skittering up with his hands over his ears. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Billy, what's up? I have a secret.

So I pick Billy up and I'm like, Greg, can you watch the door for a second? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Hey, Billy. And he reaches out and he ruffles your hair. Hi, Greg. Okay, fine. All right, cool. I'm trying to connect. Sorry. It's fine. I'm not great with kids. Me neither. All right. And I'm like, Greg, I've let in 40 redheads and 60 blondes and I walk away. Don't count them like that. I'm like, okay, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. And two women. Oh, my God. Yes, it's you too. Yeah. You step a little bit further down the street. Okay. What's up? So I talked to Kevin and Bethany and they told me that there's one way that we can get into the library, but through a well that's been covered up and they said it was by the big tower by the lighthouse. Okay. It's a disused well. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Wait, where does Ving work again? He works down below.

He works in the deep ward. Yeah. And he comes up and does outreach with people in the poorer districts. Oh, right. Are you down in the deep ward right now? Yeah, I am. Oh, Ving might know someone in city works. Okay. I'll go find him. Well, I'll come with you. What? But you're working. Greg. What? I have chlamydia. Yeah. Okay. And also want to leave work. You can just say, you know what? I'm going to leave work. We don't want to be here. We're barbarians, man. Okay.

I have to go take care of my kid. Yeah. He has diarrhea. I have kids. You don't have to explain yourself. Just go. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. And Greg turns around and is like, yes, no, no, yes, yes, no. I turned to Billy. I'm like, that guy's a fucking mess. That's a crap. Tell me everything I know. Yes. No. Yes. Yes. Five coins. No. Yeah. So you just head down to where Ving works. Yeah. Does Ving work in like a society, like an association? Yeah. Yeah.

I guess it would just be like a deep ward institution. Yeah. Cool. So yeah, you're talking to, I guess, one of the dwarves that you work with. Who's this dwarf? Crunch. Crunch. Is that a given name or an adopted name? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What did dwarf sound like? Do they sound just like people, I guess? I think you made the one dwarf sound like she was from Transylvania. She was kind of from Transylvania. Oh, Lawrence. Okay. I like that. Okay, Ving.

So what we are going to do today is you take the dry ice, which is cooling other things like food. Don't just give them the ice. Don't give them the ice. Dry ice is very dangerous. I'm just saying we should probably hide it in something else. Because the people really want the dry ice. Okay. No dry ice. Change my mind. No ice. Very handy up there. Okay. Maybe some. I'm going to say 50%. If we could disguise the dry ice as wet ice. Oh, so we put it in. No, no, no.

We've been in trouble for this before. Okay. So you just take it. You go to step side. There are some people that have been displaced by a cart dealership and they need a little help. Yeah. So you go do that. I've been there before. I'm going to go inside and reconsider our dry ice policy. You can go crunch the numbers. I'm going to go. Oh God. He just turns around and walks inside. I love him. Yeah. I love this guy. I like these two's dynamic. Get your little crunch.

Oh, I just came up with a really stupid curse for dwarves. Like a Jesus Christ kind of thing. He goes, oh, hammer and tongs. And he just turns around and walks inside. And you're just out there, I guess, counting stuff when Billy and Tuck show up. One, two. Vang. Hey. Whoa. Hey guys, what are you doing? Billy. I have a secret. You look very excited. He's bouncing in my arms. Wow. What are you counting? Food? I don't care anymore. Okay. I'm counting my best friends. One, two.

So I found out how to get to the library, kind of. What? Kevin and Bethany said that there's an old well that's covered up and it's by the lighthouse. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. But that's how apparently you can get into the library. Whoa. Okay. Good work. Yeah. We were wondering if from your work down here, you knew anyone in city works that would know about disused wells, like in the sticks.

Yeah. We can go talk to the dwarven people down in the, what's it called? The underworld? Deep word. The deep word. Where you are right now. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Where I work. Yeah. Where you're standing currently. What's this called down here? Downstairs. Yeah. A tram goes by. It's just like.

Like on the roof yeah upside down they do that thing where they just like sometimes the tracks twist around in weird ways oh yeah but the cart always stays upright yeah but there is like a really terrified kid from the low ward like in there help help what would be the administrative center of a ward as opposed to a city oh I think city hall yeah yeah okay so yeah like decentralized with these guys so what's that gonna look like I think council hall oh council hall like a community hall yeah yeah like a meeting area yeah I wonder if it's elected or if it's like a lottery from each of the like industries everybody takes turn on this yeah exactly like it's not like I live my whole life to be a politician it's like I have an anvil and I'm representing the anvil people yeah and I have to do that they're making me yeah yeah so it's that but it is a council but the council has a lot of turnover yeah so the council hall would be a place where they would keep records of different construction stuff so city stuff yeah it's possible that they came upon a well uh I had an idea there I was like oh they actually keep like a mental record oh where it's not like paper files because dwarves live so long that there's just like people that are record keepers so that is true I think and I think they're called the codices and there are individual codexes for different things sick so like there's a group known as the codices which is like there's the you know the well codex or whatever the infrastructure codex and they just remember like 500 years worth of shit oh my god sick cool the waterways and stuff totally so they're like 500 years old yeah dwarves I think have a they're like uh lobsters they're functionally immortal until they are you know killed or something like that or they get sick oh my god we introduced this in cruel runnings where it's like the older they get the more they just turn into rock yeah they get really craggy so the codices are really small they're not small they're not small they're not probably just like almost lumps of stone like they're just like what do you want yeah some of the really old ones they get nicknames of old stone yeah oh yeah so you I guess you guys have probably never talked to a codex before no no why the fuck would I do that all right well you're gonna be really disappointed when you get to the council hall the deep ward stuff closes up top stuff doesn't really close in the deep ward because there's no really day night cycle people go to sleep but then people just take their place so the council hall is thankfully open and there are a bunch of people in the opening hall and there's like administrative people behind desks there's just lines everywhere tons of lines vick just walks up to the front it says hello we need to talk to the codex back of the line please blam blam blamba it's me ving have we met I brought you a bunch of dry ice last week you had that party you had that party you had that party you had that party you had that party you had that party I am unfamiliar you gotta roll something you gotta give it you're basically standing next to a line full of frustrated trades people okay it looks like you have a lot of people lined up here yes and there's only one administrative person yes I have a limited knowledge but I'm very good with people I can help you work your way through this line double time we can get these people through and get them back to their lives back to helping everyone I will help you I'll put in a good amount of volunteer hours if you just let us go through volunteer hours very very voluntarily good person role parlay volunteer hours was the right way to go seven plus my charisma eight oh yeah so she says okay fine if you can help me figure out if these people are even in the right lines I will I will rush you through but I mean what's the what are they waiting for we don't know it's like it's people that are looking for permits people that are looking to talk to experts like it's a big administrative line it's a city hall lineup people here for a lot of different reasons there's a person that just has a goat like a huge goat on a chain yeah there's a person that's carrying something that looks like molten metal in a barrel like it's just a ton of shit can we just start going around talking to them billy tuck yeah of course yeah we can totally do that thing goes to the goat ask him what he needs defy danger wisdom damn it six I can aid two plus bond yeah holy shit sick guys so you just get a point of experience that's fun sick that's nice so you're all it's a pretty crowded place you said that there was just one it's not there's a ton of people but there's a ton of different administrative lines it's very stressful very confusing for you because you don't understand how that works down obviously we just fucked everything up but you're all kind of deep in the crowds and you hear lots of voices people are getting frustrated because you're making it worse one hundred percent you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're like okay goat go over there guy with goat don't go with goat goat you go over here goat man billy's just walking around through people's legs like tripping people up and tuck is like I know how to deal with lines I've learned from the best and I'm like in in in in five coins and the dwarf that you were talking to is like standing on her desk now like no stop stop then you're like okay I don't even understand what's going on and you turn and you're like hey you what line is this and it's like evangelical permitting and you're like evangelical permitting why would there be like a religious line down here and you hear from the doorway of city hall okay everybody get out of my way move it official light guard business the hair on the back of tucks next sticks up and you straightens out looking from kneeling on the ground from where this goat has just taken a huge shit you're trying to help clean it up and through the crowd you see fattened stuck like slut he slumps down as far on the ground as he can get to try and melt himself into the crown of dwarves to so phantom doesn't see he's in the goat shit uh and that's what we're gonna enter for this week I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me is tacoma dome the barbarian played by abdulaziz oh my god being the half elf druid played by paul loppers see you next time and fat billy the halfling thief played by jessica tie oh no thanks for area to aaron reed for our amazing intro and outro music and thank you to sporters for all of the ways you support we love you check us out on facebook twitter the internet at Spout Lore most places I'm really excited to be in season seven everybody I'm having a good time already and I hope you are too we'll see you next time bye-bye and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spell!