Episode 2 – The Codex

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello and welcome everybody to Spout Lore.

I'm your host, I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara, and joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello. Playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello. Playing Fat Billy the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes, we came upon them three months into their inhabitation, inhabiting, well, three months into them living, four months after the end of season six. We came three months into our sublet. Yeah. In the city of McCall.

Billy, Ving, and Tuck, along with Perel, traveled to the city of McCall in an attempt to find a reason that Perel, the wizard, is no longer able to cast spells of any kind. They've been living with a man named Caj Alplats, Plates, Caj Alplates, a clerk in the city of McCall who owns a two bedroom condo, and Perel lives in a studio apartment across the street. This is maybe the weirdest setup for a season we've ever had. I know. It's the setup to two guys that grill at a pizza place, essentially.

It kind of is. It's like got a real friends situation. Yeah, kind of. Like the big apartment, then the small apartment across the hall. Yeah. Our friend is used to have magic and he doesn't. That was season eight of Friends. Yeah. When Chandler is cut off from the Thaumic realm. Joey lives in the freezer. The inciting incident for this season was that Perel became so frustrated in his attempts to gain a sense of security, he decided to go to the hospital. He was in a coma. He was in a coma.

He was in a coma. He was in a coma. He was in a coma. He was in a coma. He was in a coma. He was in a coma. He was in a coma. The inciting incident for this season was that Perel became so frustrated in his attempts to gain entry to the Margani Library that he has decided it's time to try and break in to get the information he requires. So, Billy consulted some Ragamuffins that he's been hanging out with. Yes.

We found out that there's a secret entrance to the Margani Library that is connected to a disused well of some kind that is supposedly located somewhere in the cliffside valley.

Cliffside district of the upper ward yeah near the lighthouse yeah near the lighthouse of mccall the reason the city is named the eternal flame of the west just because the lighthouse still works and you can see it from pretty much everywhere the lighthouse still works I think so cool yeah this giant built lighthouse still has a flame how many feet up is it yeah don't ask me questions like that you tell me uh I don't know like the lighthouse is from when it was a giant city right yeah so and you and I were talking about it giants were about 20 to 30 feet tall what if it's like the eiffel tower kind of height oh damn that's big yeah that's big just fucking huge yeah not as wide as the eiffel tower but it's tall yeah yeah just gigantic um and the yeah there's just like a rotating light in there still nobody made I know it doesn't doesn't rotate oh old old school lighthouses didn't rotate it was just like a beacon basically in all directions yeah you could just see it from everywhere oh that means probably at night of mccall there's still like light everywhere keep in mind it's really high up there's a skirt along the bottom like at the bottom of the light that shields the town oh so it makes a shadow on the town so cliffside's still really dark and actually maybe some parts of it are darker than normal because they don't really get sunlight oh that makes sense that that is the worst neighborhood yeah because it's so fucking dark all the time yeah cool the things that we know about the characters tuck works as a bouncer at a barbarian bar called the bar yeah which is the og barbarian bar yeah he works for an orc named grec who's a pretty nice guy just a gruff old punk ving does outreach in the city of mccall with the socialist dwarves of the deep ward working for a man named crunch who sounds like a dracula and billy goes out at night and he's like I'm going to take a break from this and I'm going to take a break from this and I'm going to take a break from this And just fucks around with a bunch of street kids.

Yeah. But has had interactions with Ifrit. Yes. In that they don't attack him and he speaks to them. Tuck is very angry with you for going out at night. Oh, yeah. Because Tuck is afraid of Ifrit. Oh, true. Yeah. They're not as scary as they are. Well, I guess they kind of are. But it's more just Ifrit are just demons. And like Billy's a fairy. So he can kind of interact with the Ifrit. And they're just the shadows of children who are taken away. Oh, right. Yeah, they were.

Because that's the rumor on the street among the urchins is like, if you get caught by an Ifrit, you'll turn into an Ifrit. Yeah. They're trying to gather friends. Fuck. It's really spooky. Yeah. That's okay. Billy talks to them. Yeah. And he hasn't made any fail better. But he usually is able to get them to go away. To leave the other kids alone. Wow. Wow. That's huge. Holy shit. Billy's like a guardian now. A little bit. Yeah.

Because I was going to say, so maybe in the three months that you've been in the city, there have been fewer Ifrit on the streets. Whoa. Because Billy's been able to stop it. From time to time. He can't save everybody. But Billy doesn't think about that. Because he's not aware of all that really. Yeah, totally. It's just a nice byproduct. And now you have a pouch of saffron that you can't eat. I can't eat it because I can't open it. And I'm not going to break the glass.

I'm going to break the glass jar because I know that they're hard to find sometimes. It's a very expensive small jar. It is. It's like a really cute little tiny one. You knew it took a lot of work. This costs over $2, Billy. Do not break it. Okay. I'll never break it. I'll protect it with my life. Two whole coins. And while looking for information into where this old well might be, the party took a trip to the council hall of the deep ward in an attempt to talk to one of the codices.

Which we determined are the living dwarven archives of the deep ward and probably of the city of McCall. And while trying to help a beleaguered administrative assistant, you made it so, so much worse. Like there's pandemonium in this waiting area now. We're so administratively stupid that we can't even enforce our five gold coin a day. Fee. You've literally never collected that fee. Once. But it was more of a robbery than anything. It kind of was.

And we were given the complex administrative task of sorting a line out. Bing took the Rolodex and was plucking the names out, reading them, and then handing them thinking it was a ticket. Oh my God. And while this horror was unfolding in front of these bureaucrats, Tuck heard a familiar voice yelling over the crowd. It's Fadim. It's Fadim. It's Fadim. Warrior of the light guard and Tuck's old bully. And that is what we're going to do. That is where we find ourselves now.

Tuck is on the ground kneeling in a bunch of shit from a giant goat. Giant goat? Taller than you guys. Well, I mean, maybe. No, not taller than you guys, but taller than the dwarf that's like walking it. That's a huge goat. Cool. You're right. It is a huge goat. You didn't tell us that last time. I said a giant goat. I didn't know it was giant. I just saw a regular goat. No, bigger than a normal goat. Wow. Let's get this goat out of here. Welcome to fantasy.

Most of my fantasy stuff is an animal, but big. Yeah. That's true. What was the villain in the original season? Boragulch. A frog, but big. Because you'll notice in the most recent episode, the pests on the street are rats and a lizard, but big. No, I thought they were regular sized. I said a big lizard. The lizard was big. Oh, no, I can't run from that. This is a big deal. This is a game changer for me now. Lizards don't care about you at all.

They're bigger than rats, but they're not like gigantic. They're like iguana sized, but they're not iguanas. It's like a dragon. Billy in his mind is like, I fought a dragon earlier tonight. So tough. Okay, you pick me up. I'm like, look. Look at it. Billy, we met a dragon. Yeah, but did you meet that one? Look at that one. And it just licks its own eyeball. I could do that. It's still kind of scary. Things like, watch. Half elves have really long tongues. That's why ladies love Vink. Vink.

Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. And that is where we find our heroes now. This waiting area, tuck on the ground behind a bunch of people, can hear and see Fatim through some bodies. He started like army crawling with all this shit on him. Away. Defy danger. Dexterity. Dexterity? Okay. Get away quietly. These ones are shit. Did you just pick up my high school dice and say these ones are shit? Yeah. They are.

Virgin powers. Yeah, but they only were for white people. It's true. I would believe that actually. Based on the ethnic makeup of the town that I grew up in. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Please help me get away. Seven plus dexterity. Seven. But I mean, a seven is not a six. Okay. So Fatim is not going to see you. However. The smears of shit. The tuck sized shit trail. Yeah, there's that for sure. Yeah, Fatim walks up to the shit trail and he's, he's like, what's this?

And then he's like, no, he probably eats. He does. No, no, no, no. I do think it's funny that he would taste shit because he's fucking stupid, but I think he's also stupid enough that he is just barreling his way to the front. Okay. Everybody out of my way. He got a taste. Okay. Okay. After we leave this scene, we're going to cut back for the first time ever to a point of view character that is not the three of you. And Fatim's going to taste the shit and go has taste familiar.

He's not going to know it's you. I will say that because you did get a seven and nine. He won't know that it's you. You don't want him to know it's you right now because he the light guard currently has no idea that you guys are in town because if Adam eating shit is hilarious, but I'm telling you right now that you can stick around and he can eat shit as much as you want.

But if the light guard, specifically Fatim and the torture McCall, find out that you're in the city, that's they're going to know I'm crawling kind of to the edge of the room to the corner. Totally. What are what are Ving and Billy doing? Ving's going to get the goat. He's going to talk to goat and convince him to like keep shielding us, right? You can still talk to animals, right? Okay, cool. What are you telling this goat? I'm going to say, hey, man, your shit is beautiful.

That's a nice pile of shit. Do you want to like, I don't like hang out, go to the bar. Do you know the bouncer? What do you want? Do you want? I have zero frame of reference for any of the things you just said. I don't know what a bar is. I don't take pride in my shit. No, no. Why would I? You met a goat before? No, we don't do that. We don't do that. There's a bunch of hay over here. Oh, he should have said so. Roll a 2d6 plus charisma. Eight. Nice. Yeah, there you go.

So he's our head lead away big boy. And what's Billy doing? Following the goat as well. Yeah, but Billy had climbed up on one of the pillars. Oh, like one of the columns in the room. Yeah. And so he's like, oh, no. And he just like dead weight drops to the ground and lands kind of silently. You set this up on your own. So is Billy trying to land on his feet or is he trying to bounce through it? He's literally just like land on his back. So you had crawled up there to get away from Fatto?

I guess to get a vantage point. To get a vantage point to like, I don't know. 2d6 plus constitution. Eight. Okay. So Billy just lets go and falls on his back like eight feet. Wins himself. Yeah. Something in your pack breaks. No. Of course. You landed on your fucking back. What is it? Walnuts. You've been trying to get into those walnuts for a while. This is kind of a nice thing. Oh, that's funny enough. I'm a lot. I'm willing to accept that.

So you hear and you're like, no, wait, that was my walnuts like gonna army crawl to and you all just like scuttle out of the council hall of the deep ward. What do we hear? Fat I'm saying is we're trying to scuttle out of that. I was like, hey, so I just got back to town after a good long ways that we've been. I've been look. I've been gone and I'm back. I want my place back and he's just like arguing with this administrative assistant about getting his apartment back.

Please, please get in the line there. I swear there was a line before you came in some fools ruined it for me, but I just please get in the line and he's like yelling. She's like this isn't even the right office. We don't do housing. It's just a huge bureaucratic fucking kerfuffle and fad. I'm doing that thing like nah, this is the right place. You go get your you get your boss and you guys have time. You're just out here. You're covered in goat shit. There's a goat here.

He's like, hey, where's your grass? It's just at the door. Come on. Now. There's a big goat thing is walking a big goat on a chain. Just come this way to the grass. There's no grass McCall's guys. Fuck. I stand up once we scuttle outside. I'm like, wait big. Did you just steal that fucking goat? We got to go guys. We got a goat now. Okay. Yeah. So what's your plan now? You're just gone out. Well, we fucking need to talk to one of these codices. Yeah.

Is there another way back in so how the deep ward looks? Is there are big courtyard areas like basically the council halls carved out of the rock. So it's like there are like alleys on either side of it. There might be doors or windows in. It's like a big city building. Yeah, but underground. Yeah, so you could go sneak in but you'll be breaking into a government. I don't care. Right? Yeah, that's totally fine. You can easily find a door around another side. Let's find a door on the other side.

Come on goat. There's more hay over here. Why are we keeping this? I don't know. He's my best friend. Also, Billy can't talk to goat. It's like, come on, go. He's like, can I really impress his goat? What do you how? What? Why? I'm gonna suck him off. I'm gonna blow the goat. No, I don't know. I don't know how to impress a goat. That's how we used to do it. I just want to know why you're trying to impress a goat. What do you mean? We sorry.

I meant we I know goats like being brushed as per the fucking petting zoo. They also love to heads with. They love butting heads with things. I want to know why you're trying to impress this goat. I'm gonna mark him. I'm gonna use mark of the mark of the animal. What? He's gonna he's gonna use eyes of the tiger. Eyes of the tiger. Mark this goat so he can see through the goat's eyes. Forever. Whoa. Oh, you could push him back in there. Spy on fat of him. Smart. That's true.

I give him a little bit of my moss. I say, hey, sorry to take this. This is very special. It's very delicious. All right. Yeah. Yum yum. Hi, Hoov. Clop. Good to see you. I rub my knuckles in between his horns. You didn't have to do that. So so itchy. That's actually why I was taking me to the council hall because I got goat mites. You gotta go mites. Hold on a second. I tell the mites get better. Get the fuck out of here. Mites or I'm gonna soak this goat and and vinegar. Yeah, I'll do it too.

Oh, let me always leave. You should roll for that for that. This is fucking stupid. But you're Billy Billy and Tucker standing there just trying to clean some of the shit off of. Yeah, thing has got some time. Yeah, I'm just like Billy. Is there any on my back and I turn around covered in shit. I only saw you crawling on your front like I don't even know how you got it on the back. So what'd you get six? Oh, you guys are busy. You guys are busy. No, let me help. Ving has goat mites now.

Let me help. That's it. Things got goat mites in my merino. They're in my hair. Things got goat mites. The goat doesn't have goat mites though. And he's like, wow, I can't believe that you would sacrifice your comfort for me. Yeah, no, no problem, pal. I kind of regret it. Hey, you and I were my brothers now. And then Ving does the two eyes to two goat eyes. Yeah, the weird like hourglass shaped eyes. I'll see you around, brother. I'll see you seeing me around, brother.

Whatever that nods his head. He nods his head to Billy and tuck. We don't notice he bows on one leg. Back guys. Oh, I certainly notice and I bow also any really worked out being scratching every part of his body. Do you want some walnut shells for that? I'm okay. Thanks pal. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So you're trying to find a side entrance. Yeah, I'm going to discern reality. There we go, baby. Time to roll some dice. More dice. Holy God. Plus wisdom six. If someone wants to help. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Sick. I will aid by being taller than me. Yeah, I guess like holding them up. Yeah. Standard nine. Cool. Cool. Cool. All right. So you get one question from the list. What here is useful or valuable to me? So there is a service entrance. Basically people that go in and clean the place. There's a door. There's a door. So some you see a custodian like walk in the door and the door starts to swing shut and then get stuck and doesn't close all the way classic. Yeah. Yeah.

So the door is like both unlocked and openable. Okay. Put me down. I put him down. Okay. I run to the door and I put my finger and I'm like, we're going to go in this way. You guys figure in the crack. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Okay. We run up behind and we're like, great job. And I just opened the door. Yeah, I guess so. Wait, trap expert. Yeah, sure. Oh, smart. That's okay. Of course it is. Yeah. Fuck. Fuck. Plus dexterity. Well, six. I don't know. Yeah. All right. How are we going to aid with this?

Maybe like tuck is about to like swing the door wide open and being like, like stops. Great. Nice bond. Great. Cool. Seven. So you get one question from trap expert. Okay. So I know there's a custodian. What else is hidden here? There are uniforms for the custodial staff and the building. Yes. Because people, people of all races work in the deep ward. Like it's not just dwarves. Yeah. So the guy that you actually saw the custodian you saw going in was a human. So there are human sized ones.

You could probably rig up a baby sized. I don't know what tuck's going to do. There's orc size ones like orcs are big. Yeah. Seven feet tall and five feet. Yeah. But there's other barbarians. That's about. Well, no, I'm actually huge. Oh, really? Okay. Barbarian is a cultural thing, not a size. Yeah. Do you think that orcs are that big? I think orcs are like, yeah, seven feet like you. Yeah, I think they can be seven feet. I think it's still going to be quite tight on you. Sure.

Because you're the size of a king size bed. Yes. Booty shorts. Billy, something I totally forgot. What? You got to roll your fairy child for your hold. All right. So fairy child, you are a fairy, a nature spirit bound to material form. At the beginning of each day, roll plus charisma on a 10 plus hold five on seven to nine hold three and on a six minus hold one. Any unused points do not carry over and may be replenished each morning at sunrise.

At any time you may spend a point one for one for one of the following effects. Create a convincing illusion vanish from sight charm into an individual for a short while overcome your weakness momentarily switch to objects within view. Cool. Sick. Sick. So two to six plus charisma please seven seven, which means you get sorry. How much? Oh, a seven. I get three holds. Cool. So you have three hold to spend one to one on those effects whenever you choose to. You could do three magics. Yeah.

So is there anything that you want to use now or do you just want to hold on to him? I mean, I guess you guys are disguising right now. Cool. Yeah, they're basically items you can use whenever you want. So cool. So there are disguises kind of. Yeah. Tuck immediately starts putting on a disguise and I'm like it's nice that I don't have to kill someone for this one. You get the pants like Tuck still has the problem where they're long enough, but he's like busting like the calves.

The shirt doesn't close all the way. Like it's kind of a vest. He's dressed like a calendar of janitors. Yeah, like a sexy calendar janitor guys. How cool is this? Huh? I start spinning. Yeah. So and Billy's wearing a dwarf outfit. That's a little baggy on him because you're quite stocky. I have to roll up the arms, but I'm okay. Yeah. And Vig, you're looking fine. I look like an amazing janitor. Yeah, perfectly fit. You look like a janitor. You look like you were born to wear that uniform.

I was a housekeeper once. You look great. Thank you. Watch this. He grabs a mop. Perfect figure eight. Oh my God. I thought you were a janitor for a second. Technically, I am. It sounds like Billy's being sarcastic, but he's being genuine. Oh my God. I thought you were a janitor for a second. No, he's being genuine. Yeah. So you are in the council hall. Yeah. Tuck grabs one of the carts and he starts like wheeling through the hallways. Yeah. There's like surprisingly high quality.

Not surprisingly. It's the deep ward. There are very high quality lamps in here. So everything's lit basically like a government office building. What are the lamps made out of? Yeah. Can we take them? Can you tell me? They're made of the crystal from the magic crystal. The magic light crystals from Etienne Boggins' house. It's government, so it's really well funded. Yeah.

Tuck's about to take them and then Vig's like, because he was a janitor and he just lifts up the side of the cart and points to like boxes and boxes of spares. Oh, you got tons. Are there spare? Yeah, there would be spares. Crystals in the janitor. Yeah, sure. He puts three of those in his backpack. They're basically worthless in McCall. They're light bulbs. Great. I want him anyway. Okay. And they're useless to Billy now because his magic works totally different. I don't care. I want.

It doesn't matter. I want them. I just grab them. I distribute one to each. I'm imagining a soprano style situation where you're like, hey, we got a bunch of light bulbs fell off a truck. We're selling them for 10 cents on the dollar. Toilet paper is worth a lot in McCall. We take a bunch of those. Yeah. Wow. You still a bunch of light bulbs, but there's magic in these, but like not really kind of, but not really magic. Maybe they'll help Perel. That's what I'm thinking.

Yeah, I'm going to try and get Perel to try and swallow this. Grind it up and snort it. There's got to do something. Okay. Yeah. So you're in the building. What's your plan to look for one of those thingies code zone. Oh, codex codex. Yeah, this is what it is. A codex or one of the codices. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You have no idea where they are in this building. It's huge. Are there people around? Yeah, there's like there's a lunchroom. There's a lunchroom with a couple custodians.

There's a dwarf and somebody that looks like they have orcish blood, but they're not full work. Just like having a meal coffee or whatever. I walk in. I'm like, hey, it's our first day here. We're supposed to clean up a codex or a codice. Point back at Bill at billion big. Hello. Hi. Yeah. So do you know where the code zone is or whatever it is, wherever that is? We heard it's just right over there and things just raking this finger across the whole front of the room.

It's right in this direction. We were told it's over here somewhere. Okay. Two to six plus charisma. Six, seven, eight. Okay. Yeah. Oh, we don't. This is your first day. Yeah. Did somebody ask you to clean up a codex chamber? That's what the guy said. That's weird because we don't do that. Who does that? Nobody because it's basically their their room. They clean their own room. Oh, they don't move a lot. Have you seen a codex before? Honestly? No. Okay. Have you? What do they look like?

Yeah, they are really slow. Yeah, they speak very slowly and they don't move a whole lot. So they don't really create a lot of mess. I think one of the wanted towels or something. That's so weird. A turndown service. I don't know if they're going to let are you sure that you're in the right place and they're starting to get suspicious. Oh, I'm not sure. Is this the is this the the civil engineering tower and tucking thing are like what the fuck where did you learn that?

Where did he learn the words civil and engineering and tower and this? Okay, two d6 plus charisma from Billy. Oh God or or or or or or or you know, I'm going to use it for fun because I can hold. Yeah, you can make you can ingratiate yourself. Charming individual for a short while. Okay, so who you charming the one who seems suspicious. Yeah, and you see them their eyes like twinkle a little bit as the as your your fairy power takes hold of their their heart and mind.

And the custodians like, oh, okay. No, sorry. Sorry. You're totally you're in the wrong. You're in the wrong place. Oh, it's crazy. I'm sorry. No, that's totally fine. You're all so you're supposed to be working in the civil engineering town. Yeah, first day whoopsies. You know how it is. No, see this is this is civil works, not civil engineering. A lot of people get that wrong here. Come along. Come come with me. I'll get you where you need to go. Oh, let's go.

Okay, here we come following you coming with you now. And so this custodian who says that his name is Turpal is just like taking you through the back room or the back ways of like the council hall. Oh, cool. Just chatting you up. Yeah. So so you're all here for the first time. You're all starting today. Yeah. Yeah. Just got the job. What'd you do before this prisoners helping prisoners. Oh, good. Say fire. Oh, cool. Yeah. So yeah, helping prisoners. That's really cool.

Yeah, you know getting them rehabilitated. Yeah, that's awesome. That's like right. Where's Billy learning these vocabulary. Yeah. So you all worked in the prison together. Yeah, we were a team cool. They pay us one salary all three of us. Yeah, we only have to work a third of the time and then we can get side jobs. Yeah, while we're not at the prison working. You know what if it works for you, that sounds great. I wish I could only work a third of the time, right? Yeah, right.

That's hardly working. Yeah, totally. All right. Well, you know, you know, there's going to be a lot of new stuff, a lot of information. I'll hand you off to the civil engineering wing, but if you need any help settling in or meeting people, my name is Paul. Thanks to Paul and you get to a helpful you get to a room or you get to a corridor with a door that says civil engineering and to Paul like takes a key off his belt and like unlocks the door opens it. Here you go. Have a great night to Paul.

You too. You know, I didn't get your names. Oh, I'm Bill Bill I'm Vince Vince I'm Tacoma Dome Tacoma Dome. Don't worry about him. Okay. Well, you know, have a great first day and I'll see you all around. See you. Now if we see you first. Okay. Bye. Bye. Door closed. I turned to these. I'm like, sorry for all those weird lies. I got so thrown by seeing phantom fuck. That's okay buddy. Do you need a minute? No.

So you're in the civil engineering wing, which Billy knew about, which I think is hilarious. I didn't know. I just put I Billy was like, I just put some words together and got lucky. Yeah. Did you ever pal? Yeah. Yeah. So now you're here. What's your plan now? Find the codex. Okay. So just start creeping about. Yeah, I guess so. Discern realities. Yeah. Look out for. Yeah. Plus wisdom. Wisdom. Yeah. Seven. Okay. So you get one question. What should we be on the lookout for? Like a map, I guess.

Maybe like a like a, you know, those like here are the fire exit. You are here. Kind of map. Yeah. It's one of those. You find one of those like engraved into the wall. A map that is the layout of the chambers. And building. So you see that you're in a long service corridor that connects to a ventilation room, a heating room. They're two different rooms, a bunch of bathrooms, a gym. There's a gym in here. It's pretty nice. A lot of benefits. Tuck's gone. No. It's his week. How long are you?

No, he doesn't go. Quick 45. That's it. And you see, uh, through like council chambers, council hall, antechamber, you see far in the back, uh, into what looks like where the building melds into a cavern wall is codex chambers. So you kind of got, you've got the direction. You don't have to worry about that. Should we just go there? Yeah. It's the sort of thing like there's going to be people around. So you're going to have to maybe charm your way past or just sneak through.

Like, how are you getting through here without people paying attention to you? We're trying to look like janitors. Yeah. Okay. But they don't usually have genders in this part, do they? No, but I think that this could just be like a defy danger charisma where you're trying to like we're janitors and whoever rolls this, you're going to roll for everybody and you'll get a plus one because of the discern realities.

We're the new guys and they put us on cleaning the gym because it's a shitty stinky job. Yeah, totally. Yeah. So who's who's leaving it? I'll do it. All right. Tuck's leaving it plus one nine. Oh, nine plus one. Oh, there's a plus. One from the discern realities. Oh, fucking 10. All right. So you all just are real janitors about this. What's that look like? Tuck Tuck is smelling the air and he's good. P you. This smells bad. I wish everything smelled like cleaning solution.

Vang is picking out stuff from the garbage and putting recycling and he's undone his top button. Oh, yeah. Off a tuft of hair. Wow. A janitor. Billy. Billy already has a dirty face and he also took one of the toilet paper rolls like the big ones that you see in like government buildings and he's like carrying it on his back like tough day. Tough day in the office. I think this is indicative of the fact that all of us have almost never been indoors. Yeah, totally.

This is certainly not in government buildings and people are walking by like you see another custodian when Billy's like tough days like tell me about it and talks like P you. I wished everything smelled bad and it's the same guy and he goes tell me about and things like separating things into recycling with no hair and he points at the hair and he says tell me about this guy. What is his name? Hey man, what's up? My name is Vance. Tell me about my name's Vance to what? Tell me about it.

Well, it's a family name Vance being just realized that he stole Vance's other uniform says Vance on it crazy. We're the same size too. Well, see you later. Huh? Tell me about it and he just walks away down the hall. That guy's vibe was that he was also snuck in here too. Yes. It wasn't a job parallel heist. There was five Vance outfits by the front door. There are currently four different crimes taking place in this building. Six people named Vance are in this building right now. Oh my God.

That's amazing. That's really funny man and patrons for a hundred dollars a month. You can hear special games for each one of those crimes. Oh man, and it's called Vance's five already a patron paying a hundred dollars. Hey, this is coming right for you. Yeah, Claire, we're gonna make this podcast for you. Vance's Vance's five. I might cut this out. I just really like the idea of doing the like five stories that all intersect with you three just being like P you the dumbest of the five heists.

Oh man. Yeah, and you make it to this whereas the parts that you were in before were very service corridor. He like not too much ostentation. The corridor leading to the codices chambers is quite nice. Like the wall sconces have like that sort of dwarven many small shapes, making the whole there's one that kind of looks like what we would think of as like pixelated like it's tiny little cubes that make the shape. Wow, these are pretty.

Yeah, there's a lot of really intricate stuff and you get to the end of the hall and laid out in front of you are eight doors. Are they labeled? They are labeled. We discern realities. Well, I mean, you don't have to certain realities to read. Yeah, tuck takes out. Okay. Okay. So what would the eight codices be? These are basically they're the living equivalent of the city archives. So it would be like everything. Maybe they're eras. It would be like era. Oh, okay.

So not by subject, but by epoch. Oh, that'd be that's sick tight. Yeah. So like the first one is old and the new ones probably old, but not quite as definitely not as old as the first one. I'm going to say the first one says onyx cool and onyx.

Onyx makes sense in my head because I think that the Giants used a lot of black stone in their construction and their skin was like obsidian black and the fact that the orcs have gray skin is considered to be evidence of the diminishing of the the oraca fucking sick. Wow. Yeah. And orcs with darker skin are closer to the Giants. Yeah. Cool. Interesting. I don't know. No, that's a really interesting like older family. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Cool. The first one is onyx.

The second one is basalt. The third one is slate. The fourth one is shale. The fifth one is sandstone. Probably when the humans moved into the city of McCall. Oh, cool. The one after that is mantle. The seventh one is quartz and the eighth one is granite. I think granite is the youngest. Yeah, like the industrialization or the modernization. So that dwarves probably only like 200 years old. That probably knows where about old wells. I walk into that room. The door is locked. Oh, Billy. Yeah.

Pick it. Pick 10 plus dexterity 12. All right. I get. All right. That's a 12. So what do you pull out your little I do it. No problem. I have my pin. Oh, you still have the copper needle of the copper needle tracking us with those Billy. Okay. I'm going to get rid of it after this. You're like it's coming in handy pal. And you stick it in the lock and just click and the door is openable. Yeah, we open it. Cold air rushes out. Yeah.

And this one there's a lot more comforts like there's a nice bed in the corner. There's a shelf full of books. There's a bunch of glass music bottles and it's like runs over opens what it means. Immediately check his collection sitting in the middle of the room in a much more ritualized looking space is a checkered tile floor and a carved seat. But since this is quite a young dwarf relatively to the other codices granite is sitting at a desk in the corner reading a book. Oh, oh, sorry.

We should have knocked and you hear like a little bit of a stone on stone grinding. Yeah, as the dwarf turns his head is like hello. Hi, are you lost? No, we're janitors. I do not require janitary services today. Actually, if you have time, we have a few questions. Do you have an appointment? I was not made aware of any visitors. We don't but they just had an opening. This is highly unusual. They usually bring a herald an attendant. Do you have a sleep? Even it's a whole Billy.

Yeah, actually I do. Oh Billy can create a convincing illusion. Yeah, I pull like the name tag off my thing and I give it to him. So it looks like like a paper slip with the signature and stuff. Cool. So he takes the name tag and goes Oh Greg, or I see the fool. Very well. You can stay with me for a short while. Okay, thank you. You hear loud music start playing from the corner and he turns his head back towards talking goes please please do not touch that. I close it back up. Thank you.

I think it's boring music. Anyway, it's just violence. Those are the classics imported directly from the principalities the royal city of Kinos. Was that rock Monanoff that that was stone Monanoff. Yes. Thank you for noticing. So what is it that you require of me today? Do you know much about the wells in this city? I know everything that has happened in McCall in the last 200 years. We're specifically looking for the wells that have been covered up in around the lighthouse.

There were 14 wells that have fallen out of use in the last 200 years. Many for people falling in some for drying out cisterns one. I do not have a reason that it would be closed off. What's that one? That one is on the intersection of yes Ibis way and tourmaline crescent. Oh, so it's in the middle of a road. It is in the middle of the road. Yes. Is it paved over? I believe so. It says flag. So I believe that means that there was a flagstone placed over for some purpose. This is very unusual.

What sort of stones do you generally use for flagstones? Ah, you know one that would traditionally be quite sturdy like maybe granite or something like a granite. No kind of gestures in front of his own face. I would say to exercise caution. Should you be interested in investigating this well further? Why have you been in McCall long? I yeah, I'm I'm from here. Yes, but you moved here recently. Yes moved back recently. Yeah. Yeah, you could tell my accents different. I can it has changed.

Yeah, then you should know. Oh that that intersection is directly in the territory of the jackals. Who are they a rough bunch of extortionists. Some say paid killers not fun folks. Is there anything else you require from me? Do you know if any of the closed off wells have if they lead anywhere most were wells, but now that I think about it the one that I do not have reasoning for. Goes to a disused quartz mine on the edge of the Alcoa desert. It was closed after massive flooding. Many died.

I will not hesitate to say it's a dangerous dangerous place. Thank you. Cool. Thank you. You've been very helpful. Ah, this thing duty of a codex to inform. Thank you. I don't I don't know if we're supposed to give you a gift or anything, but I bow. Oh, I was. Thank you. And he bows his head from his seat. They being changed one of his light bulbs with his light bulb. Thank you.

That has been bothering me for a day so and tuck takes a music bottle from his backpack and he's like this is better than what you've been listening to slowly grabs it pops the top. What is it? It's speed metal, but it's made out of instruments that are just rocks. Okay. What's the name of the band slide? Landslide. Yeah. So he goes, he pops it. He listens and immediately goes a landslide second album on the rocks with which we crush. He's pretty good. I suppose. Yeah. Well, thank you very much.

Pop. I hope you have a fine day. What are your names? If you don't mind, I do not have you in my records thing thing. I'm tuck tuck Billy Billy. Where do you live? Just for we live with cash. Do you know him cash? I'll plates. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Of you know of the lower world plates. Yes. Yes. Wait lower ward. His parents are lower. I said see just now see it's not the word that he's turning into Antonio Ben kind of is he's supposed to be more of a Dracula. Yeah. Yes. I do know the old plates.

Are they fancy? Are they fancy? Folk? Are they wealthy? Yes. I knew there was something about how rich are they significantly but less so than they tell people cool. Tell me exactly how much money they have. He rattles off a number. I write that number down way too much like you're way more than you would expect cash to have but they also have significant debts to a centaur trading company. Cool. What's the name of that centaur trading company? Blackmail blackmail blackmail East Wind imports.

Oh cool. He's just writing stuff down. I should say I hope that you are not using this information for nefarious purposes. No we're planning a surprise party for him. His birthday is coming up. I don't believe you. In six months? No. Within the next or last six months? No. Okay. We're going to blackmail him with this information. Just I hope you understand that I am at no legal responsibility as a codex. Fine yeah. This might be a weird time. Did we ask you your name?

I gave up my name when I became a codex. What was it? I cannot say. Why? That is the one thing that is erased from the records. Oh. Huh. That's interesting. The given names of all codices are forgotten. That was your sacrifice was your past. It is. My connection to my family such as they were. Well wherever they are I'm sure they're proud of you. They are not. Oh. Shit fuck. Hey but look at this. Pretty cool. I guess so. I mean yeah it's a job. I serve my people.

Do you want us to get a message out for you? Tell anyone anything? So his family is not not proud of him because he is a codex because that's it's service to your community. That's like the highest thing. I think that he has he had a lover that he had to leave and as much as they wanted to be like cool that's great that you're becoming a codex. They were like you're leaving me to become a codex. That sucks.

So I think he says if you find yourself in the vicinity of the hibiscus tea house in the alabaster district of the deep ward you can tell Veranda that he is sorry and he loves you very much. Okay. We will. We'll deliver the message. Thank you. Thank you. And you see he's got this kind of far off look in his eye a little bit. I appreciate you coming today. I hope that I helped you. I hope that you do not run afoul of any forces due to my information. You either. Oh I will not.

Well I suppose you need to go get back to cleaning or something. Yep. That's right. Yeah. That's him winking. Do you need this toilet paper? You could leave some. Yes. Okay. Thank you. Is it sandpaper? Sandpaper. He just grinds away at his asshole. Jesus. No he's only kind of rocky. He's young enough. You should fucking see Onyx. Yeah. Just a lump of stone with a mouth. Hey Granite what does Onyx's room look like? I would not go in there. Really? That is to be my faith one day. Oh no.

He's basically a damp little cave with a damp old man. I'm sorry. No he's an incredible asset to the city. His memory goes back millennia. Oh my god. We should see him one day. But he's a real dink. Real dink. Acts like he's better than me just because he's older. At some point I will be as old as he is now. Like he's the only one getting older. Yeah? Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Hammer and tongs. Well I will go back to my reading now. Okay. And I will bid you adieu.

That's right I speak French from earth. Farewell. Farewell. Bye. We leave. Take care. He turns back to his book. And you kind of you did it. You got some information. I feel sad now. Oh no he's like. It's okay. I mean he misses his love but he's he is genuinely very pleased to be this like asset to his life. To his people. And he's pleased that he's getting a message out. Yeah exactly. They're gonna maybe maybe it'll be the start of a correspondence. Which is I think why he helped us at all.

Yeah. Good chance. When Billy says that he feels sad we're like well I don't know. Life is kind of like loving people and then losing them. It doesn't make it worse that you Well at least you're not gonna live forever like that guy Billy. Yeah I am. Shit. I know more than you guys do. It's just hard to sort it out. There's just a lot in there. I've lost so many dads. Storm away. Okay we gotta do something about that.

I'm gonna ask you all to roll me one roll of some kind to get out of this building. I guess we're just gonna try and fake our way out the way we came. Alright. 2d6 plus charisma. Doug's gonna try and like just whistle nonchalantly. Seven. Eight. Nine. Oh. I'll help. Frick. Sorry. It was five. Yeah. I mean you still got a nine. Yeah. That's great. How'd you help? Yeah. How did Billy try to help? Um Billy tried to help by being like excuse me every or no no. No that's stupid. Excuse me everyone.

Look at my dad whistling so nonchalantly. I mean my co-worker. My co-worker. I'm a janitor. Who? Billy. He tried to help by nonchalantly like taking off his like like uniform be like long day. Long day. Wasn't it everyone? I'm doing his shirt. Oh man. So you still get out because it is a seven to nine but I think you see somebody in another service corridor another custodian like whispering to somebody that has like a truncheon at their side that must be security. Is it like security? No.

It's just like council hall security. It's a dwarf with a club at their side and they're like what is this? And they start kind of following you. We run faster I guess. We start whistling faster and faster. Yeah. We whistle faster and start like scooting fast. That kind of half run where you're trying to pretend not to run but you're running. Yeah. Turkey walk speed walk. Yeah. Yeah.

Thing was twirling his keys trying to act really casual but he's spinning them like Billy's holding onto the cart just like check. Can't walk this fast. No. Oh no. Miming legs above the ground. So I think it's kind of so the failure and the seven to nine are sort of a cascading alert. So it's like the security guard follows you and you start hustling and the security guard starts hustling and it's like what is going on?

And then you get out the door and you start hustling down an alleyway and the guard goes right to a light guard and like points shit and the light guard turns and looks and starts following you fucking run. Yeah. Right bolt bolt bolt. Oh, I have a fucking I have one more hold. Oh, am I able to apply any of these to like all of us? It depends on what you're asking vanish from sight. Nope.

That's just Billy create a convincing illusion in my mind would be like the three of you running in a different direction. Yeah, I think that was the other thing I was gonna ask. Okay, cool. Then yes, that is possible. I would like to do that. Okay. I mean you're using a hold so I'm just gonna let it happen. Okay like you're all running away and Billy's like whoop and it looks. Looks like our shadows run down. Yeah.

Yeah totally you start running down the alleyway Billy's illusion goes down an alley behind the council hall and the light guard follows after it and we court we sort of the camera rises up above the streets of the deep ward. We see the three of you disappear into the shadows in an alley. We see a goat stomping the shit out of a guy in the front of the building. Oh no we see a very angry custodian stomping his feet and twirling his truncheon like an old-timey cop.

And we guys named Vance run down. All right, the other one five five groups of criminals burst out of five different five. Sorry four groups of criminals burst out of four different doors all at the same time all with guards following them all fall running to light guards and all disappearing down alleys as the light guard follows them and we see the credits start to roll on this episode of Vance's five see you next time people for Vance's six. And this one Julia Roberts comes back.

We'll see you next week everybody. I've been your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz so long playing Ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers. Take care and playing fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica tie. Good night. Thanks to Aaron read for our incredible intro and outro music and thank you to all of our amazing supporters the world over for following us online at Spout Lore most places including patreon.com by everybody.

See you next time and so ends the adventures three who tried the best they can dumb and scared and lost maybe for times abreast in and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution and we will not return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly Spout Lore