Season Nine: The Return

Spout Lore is made possible by contributions from our listeners if you would like to support us go to patreon.com Spout Lore where you can get extra bonus special content gather round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tuck is the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight fingers have health he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might billy's a thief his tiny size does max the largest heart best and brightest they may not be but their friendship outweighs their smarts so gather round friends and listen you for the tales about to start hello there and welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara and joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz hello everybody playing ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers hello there and playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie hello everyone when last we left our heroes they were being informed by perel last name unknown about uh the identity of the wizard reputed to live in the glacial tower that one of the two potential wizard boxes is being kept in we learned that it was the residence of a mysterious wizard named adernick all water whose area of specialty was unknown but she was known to be of great power and great influence as the leader of what the wizards called the gathering we then said goodbye to a number of library characters and we were able to get to the end of the episode and we're going to get to the end of the episode and we're going to get to the end of the episode louise the chef in the cafeteria we avoided saying goodbye to birdie the night shift chef in the cafeteria tuck and ving said goodbye to maresh elnor and learned that uh the capture of roth and the study of his connection to the spirit world by maresh and the medical wing of the margani library had yielded information that the spirit world and the material are perhaps a bit more intermingled than many specialists at the time of the episode so we're going to get to the first believed so we now know that there's a little bit of the material in the spirit and a little bit of the spirit in the material whatever that might mean we then prepared for a going away party grec owner of the bar that tuck used to work in in mccall brought blood feet for musical entertainments uh we saw zane and uma shusha talked to zane troubled young man and current vessel of the icon of wrath uh ving and shia yeah had a little moment yeah said goodbye said they wish they had more time together uh to kind of really get into the brother-sister relationship well maybe someday they will maybe someday they will they did learn that they both had been told an identical children's rhyme lullaby uh called the arrow's path that potentially very very likely has a connection to their father because the very first line starts with the ranger king so it's probably him and honestly he probably is the ranger king wrote it about himself yeah so who knows what uh mysteries are contained within those lines uh oh ving snapped his unbreakable spear oh yeah in half and gave one half to shia yeah yeah that spear is really not unbreakable it has been broken more times than not honestly at this point and we finish things off with tuck approaching ama margani after learning that um zane vessel for the icon of wrath zane vessel for the icon of wrath is able to draw upon his icon's powers while retaining his own personhood and uh agency so tuck approached ama and asked him to look once more into the truth of tuck and ama once more saw nothing then in a desperate gamble to try and understand what tuck's deal is ama attempted to look forward to the truth of tuck's future and delivered the prophecy it will end for you beneath a burning tree and the last thing you say will be a lie and that is where we find ourselves now fireworks arc through the skies above people are hooting and hollering as the fireworks are led off into the sky you can see uh pops and bursts of light in the direction of the city of mccall and people are starting to uh take part in the secondary purpose of the fireworks festival as they begin to fire fireworks at one another oh shit just a couple people here in the city of mccall people here and there.

The library is pretty good, but there's a lot of academic rivals in the library. Just shooting Roman candles at each other. Yeah, so you just hear like Virgil, you fuck! It gets really smoky when you shoot Roman candles back and forth, so it's like starting to get pretty smoky. Oh yeah, Billy's laying low to the ground. Trying to scuttle away. And Tuck lost Amma because he was going to be like, what the fuck does that mean? But like, it got smoky so fast. Well, Tuck got hit in the face a lot.

I think a lot of people don't like Tuck, actually. He's a huge target. Yeah, so that's what's going on. The fireworks festival has well and truly begun. I seek shelter under the party sub table. Safe here. He says as he grabs another. Yeah, just pull us up down. I said that's still connected to the top. Like an elephant. If anyone was looking, they would see that all subs lead to Billy and Billy. Your solitude is broken as a burst of sand heralds the arrival of Perel.

Hey, man, they almost got me there. Yeah. A couple of people have a real problem with me. It would seem. Oh, I wonder why. Why? Oh, I don't know. Hey, Tuck, what are you doing down here? God, I got hit in the face like seven times.

Where's being we could maybe things in the square with like a Roman candle sticking out of every like Wolverine and he's flipping them around just like when he was a bartender like he was doing like cocktails and dreams moves with them and he's he's getting hit everywhere, but he's just laughing and shooting him because he can't be hurt by flame. That's true. His hair is a little bit on fire. His clothes are on fire. Yeah, the fire won't even touch your skin. Yeah.

I guess Perel's just like, should we just hang out under here? Should wait for this to die down. Yeah. Does anyone have any scores they want to settle? Did I hate anyone? Billy says. Yeah. Actually, Perel goes, no, I don't. Actually, and he crawls out of the table and he comes back with a Roman candle in his hand and he tucks it into his robe and goes, I'm gonna hold on to that for later. Wait, why? I have plans for it. What? You can only do it now, though.

Oh, I'm not McCallin, so I can do it whenever I want. Actually, I like that. He's like, I'll be saving this for later stuff in his shirt, and it's like, it's a little wick. It just goes off under his chin. You see it go slowly burning as it goes under his shirt. Is the universe being like, no, I know who you hate the most. It's you. And we can just honestly, we can just cut forward unless Tuck has somebody he wants to go deal with. We sent an invitation to Fadum. Did he show up?

Oh, did Fadum show up? I don't think so. Okay, fair enough. Oh, man. I think that Fadum is out there somewhere beneath the pale moonlight. Tuck and Fadum looking at the moon singing that song. There's a world beneath the pale moonlight. And then it's just Tuck and Fadum whacking each other in the nuts every once in a while. It's my, I'm singing. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. I have the deeper register. Yeah, and you're gonna have the higher register if you don't shut the fuck up right now.

Sick bird. Like we can, we already, we talked about it earlier. We could just jump forward to. Yeah, I don't have any scores I need to settle. We cut to next morning. Did everyone sleep above ground in Elaine Springs or did you go back downstairs? Um, I did sleep under the party sub table, but I'm in the library now. Yeah, I also slept under the party sub table. Okay. And you're still there? Yeah. Uh, and we cut forward a little bit more and you guys are, I guess, packing up your room.

Yeah, I already, um, packed up and I'm clinging to Farrah's leg. Like, I don't want to be here because it's so hot, but I also don't want to go. You are such a nice grandma and I don't want to go on the road. I don't want to go in the sea again. Billy, it's okay. She, like, kneels down and tries to get you off her leg, but she, like, holds you. It's alright.

It was, and I can say this, one of the greatest pleasures of my life to meet you and the lessons that the three of you have imparted on me, in me, and around me will be of great importance to me for my remaining days. May they be long and endless because, as I said, I am already quite old and I plan on getting much older. Okay, that's good. Um, if you hear from Erk, uh, just, like, send a little moth or whatever it is that you guys use. I will.

Um, I wish that I could have tied this up neater for you, but he hasn't. We haven't been able to retrieve the text yet. That's okay. I'll know if it doesn't work out, I guess. And then I let go and I, like, kick a pebble. Billy. It's fine. No, the pursuit- No, it's fine. No, Billy, the pursuit of knowledge is a long and arduous road, but the destination is always worth the journey. Whatever. Okay. That does sound like a nerd. I don't really know what else to say.

I just want you to know that I'm going to miss you. I'll miss you, too. Bye! Billy is embarrassed and runs away. Yeah, she doesn't call after you. She lets you be embarrassed. Yeah, she lets you sit in your feelings. Thank you for being so good to us. You didn't have to do that. We kind of forced you to be good to us. You did, in a way. I recall you smashing into the library via secret entrance the first time you came here. Yeah. What good memories those were. Oh, man. That was so us.

I look forward to hearing of your exploits. The ability to travel and see the things that the three of you, four of you, she nods at Perel, who nods back and goes, hey, that the four of you have seen and will see is incredible. Gift. And sharing it with me and thus with the world is an incredible kindness. I wish that there was a way that we could easier correspond, but I understand your location will be up in the air. So perhaps this may help in an emergency situation.

And she, like, pokes a bookshelf and beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop boop. A little bookworm crawls onto her finger. Okay. She says, um, she will find her way back to me regardless, so if you have a message, unfortunately, a single message, then she will bring it to me. Oh, super important. Beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop. And she transfers from Farah's finger to Tuck's finger. And Tuck's like, one message. What would it be? Bing, make sure that he doesn't use it right away.

I mean, I'll do my best. I'm fucking responsible, okay, guys? I've grown a lot since the beginning of this show, okay? I won't, but burn this immediately, okay? Actually, you know what? Beep boop beep boop beep boop. Take two. Yeah, you give it to me. Tee-doo, tee-doo, onto Bing's finger. Hey, buddy, what's your name? Bing asks the worm. Uh, goes, Mahmood. Hey, Mahmood. And he has markings around his eyes that look like little glasses. Cute. That's the only thing that distinguishes him.

And she shakes your hands. I shake Farrah's hand. I'll miss you. Bing shakes both of their hands, shaking. I'll miss you as well. Thank you. Maybe someday people will write about what happens next, and you'll find out when it comes to your library after being published and then distributed and then making its way through the history of knowledge through books. And then back to you, the keeper of knowledge of books and nerdy things like this.

Don't let this go to your heads, but some people already are writing about you. What? Who? I can't share others' work before it's finished. Fuck, what are they writing? Your histories. Okay, well, let them know that I am in a book phase, but I will be in a cut phase eventually. So if they have any, like, you know, like, drawings they need to do, get in touch whenever that happens, I guess. Let them know a few months in advance. Yeah, and I will dehydrate like crazy for whatever the…

Thing that we're, like, the painting. I don't know how people paint things in our world. I just know that pictures exist, so whatever process to make pictures happen. She shakes her head and says, Tuck, don't dehydrate, please. That's not… It seems like a good idea because you see it in the plays and in the moving pictures, but it's a terrible idea for both health reasons and other… Reasons. Anyways, good luck on your journeys. I hope to hear from you soon.

Hey, maybe this can help you or at least add it to your collection. I have a book about magical storms. It was in the offices of a wizard. Oh, it was from Aquarius. Study from a gajillion years ago. Actually, we might need that. We're going to a magical storm. Actually, probably is a good idea. I'll hang on to that. Okay. It looks cool, huh? It does. It has pop-ups. Oh, don't show me that. Just take it away. And then Tuck's like, I do have this first edition Love and Lust.

It's a choose-your-own-adventure, although you know, we might need that. Yeah, we might want to show it. You can keep that one, actually. That's for jerk-off purposes. And Perel leans forward and says, I have nothing to add, but thank you for taking me in and keeping me safe. And she nods and goes, we would have it no other way. Good luck on your journeys. Bye. Thank you. Goodbye. And she goes into her office and closes the door. Should we go say bye to Black Spire? Yeah.

You find Billy clinging to Black Spire's leg. We go down into the mine. You're already there. It's okay, bro. It's okay. I'll see you guys sometime. Make sure you write lots of letters that Tuck and Ving can read to me. There is no step of that that I am capable of. No worries. How about you write a letter in your head and then I write a letter in my head and then we pretend like we send them and respond that way. Yeah, I could do that. That's actually a very sweet way.

I think about missing someone. Yeah, so I will definitely do that and you're going to be cool like you're look. I'm going to live forever and so are all of you. So we will see each other soon. I hope so. Yeah, and Tuck in his head remembers that he just received a prophecy that he was going to die. He's like, yeah, man. Yeah, we all will live forever. Certainly fairy elf elf. Whatever I am orphan. Yeah, so I'll be good. I got crunch here and look I've been getting I've been making gains.

Look at me. Yeah, you're so big and strong and you actually do notice he is he's bigger. He's noticeably larger. What? Yeah, getting bigger. I've been fucking chowing on the crunch. Look at the size of this place, man. I got room to grow. Holy shit. So proud of you Black Spire. Hey, I'm proud of you. I am not in touch with my emotions for trauma reasons, but I just want to say thank you for showing me the world and thanks for being who you are. Whoa.

Yeah, it's been a long day thing and thanks for showing us the world that you see what? No, I get it man. I get it being is taking this many attempts at the goodbye actually and thanks for thanks for helping out with our our thanks for helping out with our Billy's doing like the stretch it out motion to being like keep going man. I hate I hate long goodbyes. Thanks for being such a good pal to our friends. Yeah, thanks for being a good boy. Oh, yeah. Mama. Uh-huh.

He's got some some big bright crunch for you tight. Yeah, Fran. He's got some for you to say. Yeah, I love those old dudes. Yeah, you're gonna love hanging out with them. Cool. And thanks for giving me one of your scales and tuck. You actually noticed there is an obsidian coin in the middle of his forehead. Oh, hey, anytime. I think they grow back. Yeah, he shrugs who knows.

Hey, also, I don't know if this is going to help and he whips his tail a couple times and then smacks it against a rock and he reaches back with his little claw and like shoves forward a long shard of obsidian. Whoa, holy shit. He's like that will cut anything once what yeah, things slowly careful. You're gonna want to pick it up with like a with an iron. Oh, yeah, I know that should be fine. Plank. Thank you. You put that on your spear as well. I was thinking pal. You do need to use.

Okay, you're gonna hear some big words from me. Okay. Okay, it will need to be wielded with intention, but it will cut anything. So you have to want to cut it. Yeah, like if you pick it up, it's not going to slice your fucking fingers off. Okay, but like if you got to like he does like a bunch of stabbing, you know like that. Oh, but only one time not three times. No, it's the biggest word I've ever heard three grunts. That was a fun ride. Thank you.

Cause I'm holding onto his arms the whole time. Yeah, so I don't know. I heard you say put it on your spear. Yeah, I'd save it. Oh, okay. Well, I'll make sure it gets used when it needs to. Yeah. Thank you. Hey, anytime you're my bros. Come here. Bring it in. I go and I hug him around the neck. Yeah. And he wraps you in his big giant forearms and he gets it gets tighter. I'm gonna miss you bro so much. I'm gonna miss you guys so much. You're a good boy. You're a good boy. Okay.

Catch you on the flip side, bros. And he does a back. He tries to do a back flip. He jumps up and back and lands on his back and then rolls over his wings, scrabbling under and he flips over onto his front and he runs off into the cave. Yeah. He jumps off a cliff and you hear him go Black Spire. Oh, fuck. I'm fine. I'm fine. I landed it. I landed it. I landed it. And you hear Black Spire gallop off into the darkness. I guess that's it then. I know this is hard. He meant a lot to you.

Me and Black Spire got you this. I don't know if you noticed in the middle of his forehead, your obsidian coin. What? Yeah. What? Here, him and I got you this and Ving hands Tuck an obsidian guitar pick. Oh, whoa. Holy shit. Wait, what was in the middle of his forehead? I traded him the obsidian coin for one of his scales. This has been imbued with the mark of the eyes of the tiger. Oh. So that if you ever want, you can see through the coin. Holy shit. Seriously?

If you ever want to visit your spirit animal, you can. So wait, what do I, explain more. How does this work? Ving has removed his eye of the tiger mark from Ama and imbued it into the pick so you can see through the eye of Black Spire. Oh no fucking way. Don't know if it's gonna work or if it'll be a comfort to you in a time of great darkness or loneliness. Who knows? But when you need it, he'll be a friend for you. So he has the obsidian coin with him? Yeah. Oh shit. That's fucking rad. Man.

It's a really weird way of bringing it up. Yeah. I don't know if I'd play guitar with that I'd probably cut through the stream. But you know what? Shred, bro. Yeah, man. Fucking sick. Billy has like the secret smile on his face. He's like, finally the secret is revealed. Did you guys record a thing while I was gone? Yeah. Of us like talking about it. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Cool. Fucking sick. So now you have a spirit animal with a jewel in his forehead like Ving does. Yeah.

He's got the coin in his forehead. Yeah. Fucking rad. So he has a little third eye obsidian coin. I wonder what it'll imbue to him. Yeah. Can he talk to me? Can he see through my eyes? Who knows? Can I try it now? Yeah. It's a hard process for Tuck because he doesn't quite understand how the theory and the practices. So it's hard to connect. You don't really feel it right now. I put it on my forehead. It's cold. I think he's cold. We should go back. No, he's cold blooded. It's okay. It's okay.

It's fine. And then Tuck puts it in his leather wrist strap like an asshole in a college quad. Oh, yeah. So sick. So you guys just head back to the motor pool to meet Maggie. Yeah. Get out of here. And Maggie is there. She's got her stuff such as it is packed up on the retrofitted boat that you guys wrote in on. Yeah. You see, the Balco slouched on the couch, beet red and panting. What? And Maggie's like, all right, we ready to go. What the fuck happened to Balco? Oh, you know how it is.

Hop in, everybody. No, no. Balco, what happened? Billy? He's fine. What happened to him? She gives you all a look. Come on. Fist pump speed master. She fist bumps thing. Do I really need to talk about it? Did you guys fuck? Let's just go. All right. S&M and S&M. I don't know how it is with the three of you, four of you per rail. I'm sorry. I keep forgetting you're there. That's fine. Everybody does. His mouth has been full of granola this whole time is why he hasn't been talking.

He's been eating leftover party sub from the night before. Yeah, we don't. Let's just get out of here and you load up into the sand boat. Do you guys really want to belabor this point? Okay, they fucked a fucking visual gag. Okay, that's so funny that you guys are like, no, don't be vague with me. Don't try and play coy details and you load up your shit and head out. Yeah, and we cut forward to the city of Wickport. So did they fuck on the couch right before we walked in?

I think as we were walking in. Why was he so red right away? I'm not red after sex. I mean, Balco is red most of the time, so he's maybe just a little extra red. So they fucked right before we walked into the motorhome. No, he's a big dude. He doesn't have great cardio. It could have been half an hour before. Shun didn't say, his face was red. It's a good point. You are at the harbor of Wickport standing before the clear water.

People have very frustrated looks on their faces as the stevedores that only days ago finished unloading the boat are now loading it back up and they keep seeing that they pass the three of you and they like spit on the boards. Dude, come on. It's a union job. I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for the pennies and he walks up. The boat. Isn't that what you wanted? Do you want to find us? We just made your jobs easier.

The guy stops at the top and looks back down and he goes, pennies, and he keeps walking onto the boat. It's weird that he's working for Eggs Benedict. I mean, I guess I would work for Eggs Benedict. It's just we never ask for them. We'll work for brunch for five Eggs Benedict a day plus expenses. So Greg comes down the gangplank with another kind of older, shrimpy looking old man with like glass. On his nose and long gray hair in a ponytail.

He's like everybody just, you know, we're just getting loaded up, but I just wanted to introduce you to the bosun Eggs Benedict. He's going to be sort of in charge of the deck crew. So you might want to get familiar. What's a bosun? He's going to be in charge of the deck crew. So you might want to get familiar. What's a deck crew? Yeah, a crew. I don't want to have to explain all the parts of a boat and the life upon the boat.

So a bosun is a person who is in charge of the deck crew and the general maintenance of the ship. What is deck crew do? They crew the deck. Yeah. What's a stevedore again? Stevedore is a person that loads and unloads a ship. Huh? You guys have been on boats before, right? Yeah. How'd you get here? We got we got on a little boat and you just didn't on little boat. I got a little one and then the patron of sailors just dropped us off here.

You know, you can be on a boat without naming things a bunch of stupid names, right? Yeah. And when you say the patron of sailors got us here, eggs like leans around Greg is like, what did you say? Chimes, you know chimes, like guy with like kind of like bald, lots of tattoos like long beard with like rings in it used to be married to the moon. Yeah. Sales a little boat with a bunch of runes on it. He calls it the calm. Yeah. Sales like the sea of graves for all of eternity. Yeah.

Pretty magical guy. He gave us this knife pulls out the waning knife that he stole from Billy the night before. Hey, we've been stealing it back and forth. It's kind of like a fucking elf on the shelf game. It's like, where's the waning knife today? Old tattoos, long beard, gray hair. Yeah. Yeah. I can't, you know, doesn't doesn't ring a bell as eight people matching that description walk past him onto the ship chimes.

Oh, no, that's not just you described basically ninety percent of the sailors that I've ever worked with. So anyways, yeah, eggs Benedict pleased to be at your service. Don't get in my way. Okay, where's our bedroom? Oh my God and he just walks up onto the ship and Greg is like just don't he's he's he's a courier sailor. He's a real ornery folk kind of kind of folk. But yeah, you got you guys got hammocks. It's all good. Okay, cool. Come on.

Let's get you settled and he takes you up top and then down below with all your stuff and you are struck by the size of the clear water. Like you have only been in this thing when it was a shattered piece of shit that was half buried in the mud, right? But this is like a big-ass boat multiple decks dozens of crew shit piled everywhere because there's no wasted space on a boat. Yeah, some people would say it's big enough to fit a small elephant or hippopotamus made out of rocks.

A couple big dogs or very small dragon and you're looking around and you're like, yeah where I can't see any space that would be able to fit a 15,000 pound dragon that was only getting larger by the day. But you do see some people do have pets on the ship like somebody somebody has like a bird and there's like a dog, you know, just like sea pets and Greg takes you down to the where that looks like. The crew sleeps and he kind of gestures to an area around him.

Okay, and he's like, yeah, you can sling your hammocks here sometime between or I want to say you're not really crew. So you're going to get the worst sleeping slots. It's probably going to be like, I don't know between 4 and 10 p.m. I'd like to nominate that we sleep whenever we want to agreed agreed seconded. Yeah majority votes. Yeah three to one. Yeah.

Yeah, you guys are going to love life on a ship motion past and he takes you to Maggie's cabin the captain's quarters as she is settling in with her shit. She's unpacking her bags and she's like, ah, yeah. Hi, what do you think of the ship been a while since you've been on here? Huh? Was a no small undertaking to get this thing floating again. It's pretty good. Yeah. All right. So we got a crew of pretty decent sailors a lot of career folk.

We picked up in the principalities in between but you three are pretty exceptional in each of your own ways. So Billy you got those you got those peepers my eyes. Yeah, you got a good way of seeing a good distance. Uh-huh. All right, you're going to be up in the crow's nest. They're going to be keeping an eye out with the crows with their crow is up there. Yeah, and you're going to be helping him keep an eye on things. Okay thing. Yes, you've got control over a certain elemental abilities.

Control is a very loose word in my mind. You're going to be what I call wind boy. Bing looks off into the distance and a little bit of breeze races his wild gray hair and he goes wind boy. I like the sounds of that and tuck. Hey you carry whatever anyone tells you to carry. Oh sick. I'm so good at that sucks. I have to sit up with the crows while you guys do fun things Billy. Do you not want to you don't have I'm not going to make you your little kid. I'm not going to make you do stuff.

I can trade you if you want to carry everything it's fine. I'll just I'll sit with the birds and I've just now decided that the perilous journey role will still be the perilous journey role, but it will be to determine how much trouble you three make during this journey and how it affects the jobs of those around you sweet. Okay, so first leg of the journey which is going to be from Wickport to to an island like a group of islands further that to the north where it starts getting cold.

Okay, I go yeah, an archipelago an Arctic archipelago and then from there. We'll kind of see what happens because maybe this this will be the whole episode. So who can say so perilous journey it's all plus wisdom and what is our individual roles carrying wind, boy, crows, and okay, so it's not the same roles as you know, because they have a quartermaster, you know, it's just kind of like do you guys fuck somebody else up enough? Okay, we get into trouble. Do I see something really dangerous?

Exactly plus wisdom. I got twelve three nice plus was my got eleven. Okay, so wind boy doing a great job great. Basically the trailblazer, you know helping carry the ship along. Billy the Scout did a great job and tuck fucked up somehow so Billy will be able to spot any sort of danger before it arrives.

So you see, you know, you head out from Wickport early in the day as the sun rises you sail for a good few hours like half a day and Billy you see ships here and they're passing by of all make and model. Yeah, the climb up to the bird's nest zone was harrowing to say the least. Um, they eventually had to wrap a rope around Billy and call him up. Yeah, and he was like staying here the whole time not leaving now and you get to the top and there is a man up there who is skin and bones.

He's so skinny and he's got ragged shorts on Oh, no, like a tank top and he's got huge glasses that magnify his eyes so big in his head. Cool. He's just like, hey, kid. Are you okay? Oh, yeah, I'm better than I've ever been. I'm Crow. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. I'm Fat Billy. Oh, your name's Fat? Actually, you know what? You fit right in on a ship crew. Everybody's got fucked up names. Thank you. I'm good. They call me Crow for God's sake. What's your real name? My name's Bernard.

Oh, Bernard. I kind of like that name better. Don't let anybody hear you call me Bernard. Okay. Do you want a snack? Yes. What do you got? I have, okay, I have a lot to choose from. I have dried fruit, mostly persimmons and waffles, and I have dried wapple nuts and something, I don't know what kind of nuts these are, but they're really long. And then I also have jerky and I have a baggie of gumbo. Gosh, that winded. I have protein drinks and protein powder and protein candy. I have cubes.

I have a bag of moss. You can have it. I don't want it. As you're looking through your bag, talking about all the foods that you have, a drip of saliva hits the wood in front of you. And he's like, kid, you're going to have to be very careful with that food. They're extremely strict about when people eat on a boat, but I would love some of your wapple nuts right now. Do they starve him? No, they don't starve anybody. It's just if you run out of food on a ship, then things get really bad.

Okay, well, you can have it all. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I'm really concerned about how skinny he is. Oh, no, this is just a genetic thing. And he starts shoving wapple nuts in his mouth. I'll keep first watch. And yeah, a couple hours pass and you see some ships here and there passing by. Nothing out of the ordinary, it would seem. You see like a spray of water off in the distance. And just as you swing your binoculars, a tail flips beneath the water. Is that a dragon? Was it Siri? Oh, my gosh.

How big was it? Big. It was big? It was really big. Pretty big. Didn't get a good look at what the tail actually looked like. No. Just movement and water. But you do notice that one ship seems to be following you. At a distance, but following you. Discern realities. Plus wisdom. Seven. Okay, so you get one question off the list. I would like to know, What is the most dangerous thing in the world? What is the most dangerous thing in the world? What is the most dangerous thing in the world?

What is about to happen? What is about to happen is a general period of time. Not within the next few seconds, just because of how ships work. But this ship is going to try and get as close to you as possible until you are in what they hope to be a vulnerable position. And then they're going to attack and board you. Oh, shit. Hey, Bernard. Yeah. Look over there. And he grabs his, he picks up a little tiny spyglass. And it unfolds to be like, a meter and a half long.

I have to move out of the way for that. And he clings it against his already huge glasses and goes, Oh, yeah. Pirates. Is there an alarm to sound? Oh, we don't got to worry about them. Not right now. Okay. They're pretty far away. Old Clearwater, she's got some surprises in her. So, yeah, just keep an eye out. Okay. I keep watching them, I guess. Yeah. They're just, it's just good to know that they're out there, but it's not like we're going to get you. What does their ship look like?

It looks pretty nondescript, nondescript to the point of being suspicious. Like there's no flag. It doesn't fly a flag. Yeah. They painted the hull the color of the sky behind it. Yeah. It's just a very beautiful area, like blues and whites. A fog bank rolls in behind them. And you see these, this guy in the deck yelling and screaming. And all these guys like, oh, and they go over the sides, start painting the side of the boat. It must be wasting a fortune on paint.

And if you look really, really close, you can just make out the name along the side says Blue Period. And you know what? They probably would have been okay catching you if it wasn't for Windboy Ving, who does a great job of calling up just a nice, healthy breeze. Yeah. Yep. So. So you are what? Just, I guess you're just standing on the deck doing your thing. Yeah, totally. Just, he's got ropes in his hands. Maybe they don't go anywhere just to make him feel important.

And he's up on the front, king of the world. Nice. On the bow. And just having the effect I desire come to pass. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And the breeze keeps up for a good long while and you're able to push the ship along a little bit faster than it would have been able to go anyways. Mm-hmm. So, maybe a probably four or five day journey to this town is gonna be like three and a half. Wow. And there's so many sailors gathered on the deck behind you not doing their jobs that are just like, wow. So cool.

What does Ving look like while he does this? He's like out on the bow, right? He's out on the bow. Yeah. Like standing on the, yeah. Strip to the waist. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, with really billowy blue linen, like three quarter pants. Where'd these come from? He ripped down the mizzen. He ripped down the mizzen. And he's made built pants out of them. His hair is blowing full forward like a windsock. Whoa. And he's following the direction of his hair. So cool.

And when there's a bunch of people looking and just like gawking at him, he like calls up a big gust and blows all their hats off and says like, you know, get back to work, you scallywags. Leave the blow job to me. And they're not even mad. They're like, wow, what a man. Ha. That might be. Dot, dot, dot. And tuck, you've been holding the same box for two hours and no one's told you where to put it. Sweating, quivering. Actually, it's not that bad. I've kind of just been holding this box. Yeah.

A guy told me to pick it up two and a half hours ago. And I haven't put it down. Really? I'm really, really bored. But other than that, I'm just holding this box. Yeah. You kind of have actually, you know what? It's a lot of scrabbling coming from inside of it. Yeah, totally. It's a lot of scrabbling. He keeps it every time someone passes him. He's just like this box is scrabbling a lot. And nobody responds. I feel like someone should take this more seriously. It's making a lot of noise.

Can someone please pay attention to me? Does anyone see the guy who looks like he wants this box to be anywhere? And you just kind of have time. You just have this box there. It's making noises. You notice there are a couple holes in it. I tried to look in there and like a talon came out one time. Oh, I wonder what's in here then. So yeah, Tuck, no one's telling you what to do with this box, man. I need an adult. And after a long time of saying, I need an adult. I need an adult. Over and over.

Eggs Benedict comes up to you and is like, come, come here. Come here. What? What are you doing standing around for someone told me to pick up this box and it's getting mad at me now. Why? You thought you got just hold the box on the deck. You thought that's what we do with boxes here on the ship. I've been asking people what to do for so long. I don't know anything. And he puts his finger to his lips. Be quiet. Okay, come with me. Okay. And he takes you down the steps down below decks. What?

Down below decks. Okay. Down below decks. Are you going to beat me? No, just be quiet. What? You're so paranoid. I mean, I've never been on a ship before. I don't know. Is there an initiation? Well, I mean, actually, yeah, when you cross the equator for the first time there is, but we're not going to do that. Okay. Well, actually, no, we're not going to do that. We're about the equator. Okay. Come with me. Okay. And he takes you down to where the cargo is.

And then you go past where the cargo is to like a weird kind of out of the way closet almost. With like a door with a heavy lock on it. Whoa. And he opens up, he grabs a key off his belt, but not off the ring that has all of the other keys on it. He grabs a different key and he unlocks the lock and he opens it and there's one other box in there, but not a lot of other stuff. Weird that there's unused space basically. And he's like, put it in there. Okay, man. Why are you so mad at me?

Just put the box in there. Fuck you, dude. And I put it in. Okay, get out of here. Go on. Okay. Go on. What are you being so rude about? And he closes the door and he locks it. What the fuck is going on with you? Get above deck. It's about horror. Oh yeah. I wanted to discern realities. Or discern reality. Figure out why the fuck this guy's being so rude. Okay. 2d6 plus wisdom. Eight. So you get one question. What here is not what it appears to be. Smart.

You notice that as you go back above, are you going to stay here? No, I think this is as you're leaving. Yeah. You walk back up and you're walking through the cargo hold and you see all the boxes they have loaded up are all stamped specific sigil and you realize the one that you carry down there was not stamped at all.

Oh, and neither was the other one in the in that little zone smugglers Texas out loud and just behind tuck almost out of frame a pair of eyes pop up as he says smugglers and goes back to. Yeah. So take of that what you will. Okay. There's some sort of unmarked cargo being moved around. Okay. A mystery is a foot. This also Texas is so loud. Talk is going to get fucking stabbed. Well, I suppose it's up to the greatest detective on earth.

Then he pulls out a like a little cowboy hat and he puts it on and he's like Dirk Adventure Boy and you head back above decks and you see. Perel lounging at the back of the ship with like three paneled mirror thing pretty much smoked glass lenses over his eyes just showing fucking kidding me. Hey buddy, why do you not have a job turns out if you don't say anything nobody doesn't think so. I just didn't ask any questions. All you guys asked Maggie. Hey, what can we do?

What can we do and I just shut up. Wow. Oh shit. I'm a genius. I've been hard for you being shut up. I can't hear you. Yeah, it's too windy. So yeah, how you like in sale life? I mean, it's pretty boring so far, but there's definitely they're smuggling something on deck. What? Yeah, man. There's like two on Mark boxes downstairs and one of them had a very angry thing inside of it was trying to get out. Perel folds up his reflector thing that he was using to tan his face.

His sunglasses off and goes. This sounds like a mystery for dirt adventure. Boy, I said it already man. That's what the hat is. Okay, fine. You can be card. I'll be cardamom the smartest horse in the world in the world. I already said it. That's right. Oh man, does that mean I got to be Judy? No, Judy's pretty cool. Who's Judy? She was in the shoes in the third book. There's more than one of these. Yeah, testament of night. Yes, she's a falcon. Yeah, Judy, Judy, the falconer.

She was a lady who becomes a falcon. Yeah, I'll be Judy. The falconer sick. Have you only read the first book? Bringers of the black flame. I've only read the first one. There's more than one. Yeah, it's a series. Dumb dumb. Why do you think it said number one on it? I thought it was the best book in the world. It's one in a series. I have them all with me. Oh shit. Yeah, give me those other books. Yeah. Okay, cool. You can have the second one if you want. Yeah, it's just down in my in my cabin.

Okay, I have a cabin. Are you fucking kidding me? Your personal cabin? How did that happen? Come with me and he takes you to a broom closet. Oh, yeah, it's like nobody looks in here. Okay, that makes him make it attached to the ceiling in the floor. He playing is leaving. He just hangs there like a zucchini any he grabs his bag and he pulls out a book with you know. I have Dirk adventureman on the cover riding cardamom off a cliff. Holy shit. It's the best you made your own cover.

Yeah, they all the other ones were ripped off. I got these in used bookstores and this one is called Dirk adventureman measure of doom the end the fissure of doom. So cool. Yeah. So this one is pretty cool because there's a fissure of doom in it. Oh, yeah. So don't dog. You're it or anything like that. Don't bend the spine because I made it. Okay, and then just puts in his little backpack sick. Thanks man. Yeah, no problem.

Don't tell anybody I'm in here and then he closes the door and Billy we cut back up top. Yeah, I stopped watching the pirate ship because it were really going fast. Yeah, and I'm looking around elsewhere now. You just trying to kind of see what's going on around you. Well, there's like not much except the coastline. So I've been I've just been spying on the on the deck. Interesting. Is this a roller? Sure. Yeah, give me a discern realities. Yeah. With wisdom. Yes. 10. Oh, 10. All right.

Three questions. Okay, who's really in control here? Because those fucking smugglers. Yeah. So the secrets. So you see you see Maggie and Greg and Caroline like walking around. And from what you gathered, this is like a mender vessel like Maggie is supposed to be the captain, but a lot of the crew seems to defer to eggs Benedict and it kind of makes sense because he's the boson like it makes sense. They'd be like, oh yeah eggs.

He's the guy, but there's a way both like what the fuck does that word mean? Okay, do you want me to tell you what a boson is? Just tell me what a boson is. I like to spell lower on the word boson. A boson is a petty officer on a merchant ship having charge of hall maintenance and related work. A naval warrant officer in charge of the hall and all related equipment. I might have been thinking of a different word and you know why? Because my dad was a boson. That's why I said boson.

I was thinking of a warrant officer. Oh, yeah, I got that. Yeah, I definitely got the word wrong, but now I'm wondering if it's more interesting that the boson is the one that seems to be pulling the strings. Pretty cool. Yeah, and you've already said boson a bunch. Yeah, so you realize that Greg definitely got it wrong because the boson from what Crow has told you is in charge of like the maintenance of the ship.

But Greg must have thought that he was in charge of the crew because a lot of them defer to Eggs Benedict. Oh. And you see a number of the crew members, not all of them, but a core number seem to be really chummy. And there's a lot of like whispering and like going and talking off to the side. Hey, Bernard. Yeah. Do you know much of those people? Who? Oh, Eggs and all those? Uh-huh. Yeah, no, I don't know too many. You know, I spend most of my time up here. I guess so.

Yeah, with all of my things. And he's like jangling all these like keepsakes that he brings up here with him. A lot of stuff in jars. I do. It's people just leave shiny things around and I grab them and I bring them up here. You know, I bet you and my friend Ving would really get along. Oh, is that Ving down there? Yeah, he has a lot of jars with stuff in them. Oh, he's a good guy. Yeah, he's a good guy. Yeah, he's a good guy. Yeah, he's a good guy. Yeah, he's a good guy.

Oh, he's quite a specimen, that one. Just a real sailor sailor. Yeah, totally. Anyway, okay, my second question is what here is not what it appears to be? Okay, so the people that Eggs seems to be connecting to are the people that have been playing around with him for a long time. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Kind of speaking with more and like handing stuff off you watching at the beginning it's kind of quiet but the further out you get to see there's a lot more of it and they seem to be like oh yeah totally we're working no problem this is all good but there's a lot of planning it looks like going on right now okay what is about to happen um billy being a person who is a being familiar with cycles and ebbs and flows in nature and uh the the cycles of uh predator and prey you would guess that in probably two days just before you get to where you're going eggs and his crew are going to attempt a mutiny whoa whoa fucking shit that's very useful information you're the adventure boy now billy I'm the adventure boy cool do you tell any of this to crow um no I just crow is still talking about it I'm not talking about it I'm not talking about it I'm not talking about it talking about thing he's just the delts they're just so carved no he's he's been working out for a while um listen I have to go to the bathroom okay let fly my boy whoa welcome to ship life what in the crow's nest the world is your toilet isn't it beautiful I thought this was just dirt I thought it was just so dirty up here just the regular dirt I'm gonna go I'll be right back and as you go you see the an arc of liquid start sailing down from the crow's nest and crow going I'm free free as a bird I'm the king of the world I I scurry thing looks really busy right now I don't know billy is like standing on the deck like what do I do you do see tuck and perel at the back of the deck okay yeah I'm gonna run after tuck yeah billy what the fuck is going on I why are you covered in shit I didn't know I'm stuck up there with a very nice man named bernard and it's close quarters and weird stuff happens there anyways something else anyways I was looking around doing some spying stuff and I noticed that eggs and some other crew seem to be like really friendly with each other and like they like and like they have like the secret smile on their face like they're sharing secrets and I think I don't know I feel like they're gonna do something what do you think they're gonna do billy I don't know like a mutiny or something like what what is it on a ship when they try to take control a mutiny or something and perel nods and goes ah yes the mystery is afoot yeah benedict was really weird to me was he yeah he made me fucking hide a box full of what sounded like an angry bird or something what yeah should we tell you tell me what the ving stand there and you look at the battle of the deck there's two guys like holding on the ropes like it looks like they're gonna be sucked off the front of the boat I got these jerkoffs holding the boat those jerkoffs that are gonna get sucked off the front of the boat as you put it oh no that's what you call a guy who holds the rope of the sail you've never been on a ship before I've never been on a ship before oh I'm sorry man I don't know if we could do this blow job I feel like we're gonna get sucked off listen you jerkoffs you can do this blow job all day I have faith in you you're the men um sorry thing you looked really busy up there um anyway I told I tell ving what I told tuck and perel how long do you think we have I don't know maybe a day or two should we tell maggie yes I feel like we should tell maggie we should tell her very secretly so they don't get suspicious yeah do it really smooth like hey no secrets here we're just a couple of friends hanging out hey everyone it's just a couple of friends hanging out okay okay 2d6 plus charisma billy sorry you're yelling on the deck trying not to be suspicious nice eight plus two is ten okay and the helmsman that was giving you a side long glance goes okay then continues to use fairy something on him yeah for sure he got charmed uh yeah so you're gonna head down and tell maggie yeah but also kind of want to know what's in that ball yeah for sure yeah here's the here's the thing to consider and perel says here's the thing to consider I forgot I have a point of view character that I can use to describe my ideas this is working out great if we go to maggie too soon we might tip them off that's what I'm wondering they'll have the element of surprise but if we wait and see what they're up to maybe whatever is in the box we can use as leverage can ving communicate with caroline I was thinking as a former speaker of the silent word because ving knows the silent word maybe he can use some of the silent language that's an interesting unspoken language of the librarians to kind of let her know that something's up but not to act but to put her on sort of watchful yeah right is caroline on the ship yes caroline is on the ship she's like maggie's right hand like she she sticks around yeah how do we know we can trust caroline oh she has been shady in the past she was spying on us for a long time she was spying on us for maggie though but wait can we really trust maggie perl starts to look around and is like what the fuck are we doing on this boat we might have trusted too fast too soon we do this all the time oh my god what if they wanted me what if you just delivered me to them oh oh no oh no perl's a really good way for sean to see descent on this boat what if you can't trust me what if I'm the mutineer and then I uh I lead in and I put my fingers in the back of perl's pants pocket and I pull out all of your halfling pipe leaf and I'm like he's paranoid he's paranoid as fuck because he's just been smoking wheat he's rubbing his eyes a lot well I mean I don't think that's all of it yeah it's definitely not you smoked a lot of it dude no I that's not what I okay that's for ceremonial purposes yeah and it's for sarah moi okay uh anyways okay yeah no no you're right okay okay maybe I'm being paranoid okay but yeah I think yeah I mean a little bit you're right we know that there there's something shifty going on well let's try and gather as much information as we can before bringing it forward but without talking to anybody we can't just go to caroline no okay okay who can go find out what's in that box well billy's a fucking thief yeah that's true I am the most skilled okay at this all right billy you sneak below deck okay you go find out what's in that box I'll show you where it is oh yeah and then I'll like stand watch I guess yeah I I tuck you and I have a lot of problems with each other but what the fuck are you talking I thought we're friends we are friends we are friends but I've you rag on me I rag on you I don't make fun of you are you fucking kidding me never mind I'm not even gonna say the thing I was gonna say what were you going out below deck what were you gonna say I was gonna say that if anybody chooses to pick a fight with you they're fucking stupid oh okay yeah that's nice of you to say so you're it's good for you to stay in guard because anybody they'd have to be dumb to try and be like that's the guy I'm gonna take on yeah totally this whole crew might be able to beat the three of you so wait what are we afraid of again you need to take a nap I'm gonna go lay down go let me know what's in that crate we have some coffee or something I'll go see what I can do and he goes over to the side of the boat and he hurls uh yeah so that's the plan billy's gonna sneak down yeah I'll come with you okay okay okay I'll stay up here I'll run to distraction on deck oh also what distraction are you gonna do I was gonna give him a display of my prowess I guess he says as he's like running backwards all right we'll start with this display of prowess okay he uh uh oh no uh he's running backwards and he leaps up into the air through the space between the mass and the in the boom uh and grabs it with his feet with his knee pits and spins around a bunch and then hangs upside down with his arms crossed in between these two guys who are having a conversation and he's like oh what's up me sailor boys whoa and he drops to the deck floor and then pulls out a concertina and starts so instead of choosing your physical prowess which we've established for the last two seasons or all of your spirit abilities which we've introduced over the last seven seasons yeah introduce musical prowess okay that ving plays the concertina badly uh so you're gonna have to roll I was gonna say defy danger dexterity uh-huh because of all your flipping and then I was gonna say defy danger charisma because of the concertina and then I decided you're gonna roll both because you went too far on that description my friend all right so 2d6 plus dexterity this is real like uh disney live action from the 60s scene all right dexterity first okay I got uh eight uh eight great okay so yeah you do your little flip and everybody goes and there's a bunch of people like dancing around as you start doing your thing you hear crow like high-pitched scream from like a girl at a rock concert and a pair of underwear flop down on the deck they flop with weight they splat down uh and now 2d6 plus charisma for your concertina performance okay which you definitely just swiped from somebody on the ship oh yeah on my way back I found it seven all right and you break into a rendition of a sailing song that ving heard after first leaving the frozen north you caught a boat down to the principalities cool so tell me about this song it's a song that he uh learned when he was taken captive once it's a pirate song oh so it's like fucking up merchant ships nice which maybe is not like bringing a lot of good luck to the so it's about um but depending on how into it these guys are uh-huh it like would really like suss out like yeah that's it it's a smuggler song oh yeah I like that so he's trying to get it the captain knows not what you bring oh the captain knows not below the deck is all sorts of things I brought them secretly on board when the captain sleeps I'll cut her throat his name is maggie her name is maggie I'll cut her throat when she sleeps at night he's singing nobody's really specific yeah it was like when you were like that captain knows not what you bring then people were singing along and then you were like I snuck stuff on the ship and I'm gonna kill maggie cole at night everybody's like what the fuck is he talking about let's cut that part the sea is wet and the sky is bright okay they all yeah they're like yeah yeah it is nice I know this part yeah yeah and people start taking up the uh they're actually yeah so that's a good way to to think about it there are one or two people in the crowd that take up the song with their own verses like sea shanty style and there are a couple of them and you're like why do you know this song you know what I mean yeah so there's like a a halfling woman who takes up the song and you're like okay noted and then there is a human probably about 21 years old a boy with real thick arms and he's like oh my god I'm gonna kill maggie cole at night and then he's like oh my god and he also takes up the song and he's got a tattoo of a bear across his chest and you're like noted so that's some information that you get from that and they're distracted for now yeah there's a whole uh song going on we cut to tuck and billy sneaking below decks we are adventure boys sneaking down the stairs we are adventure boys uh nobody can fit fucking shit billy you're doing great no I'm not doing great I'm not doing great I'm not doing great I'm not doing great I'm not doing great No, I'm not good at this.

It's fine. It's just all, it's all about the rhythm. Sneaking down the stairs. We are adventure boys. Sneaking down the stairs. We are adventure boys. Sneaking down the stairs. Okay. 2d6 plus dexterity to sneak. And you both have to roll it because I really like one of these. I really like something that might happen. A 10. 10. Fuck. I really, I'm just going to say it because I really like the idea of Tuck being like, we are adventure boys. Sneaking down the stairs. We are adventure boys.

Sneaking down the stairs. Way into it. In the meantime, the guy that would have noticed us if I did, that is like elbow deep in like a plate of pasta. Like so into it. He doesn't notice us chanting and going to. Yeah. He's elbow deep in a barrel of pasta. Like he cracked open one of the barrels and was like, everybody's distracted upstairs. I'm going to get me some pasta. Oh my God. He could get his hand chopped off of that. Everyone is doing espionage. Everybody's working for themselves.

Let me tell you about the golden age of sale. Everybody was a dirt bag. It was like the worst people in the world. So yeah, you guys creep right past him and you head down. You got a 10. So you're not going to, I'm not going to make you roll multiple times. So you make it down to the spot that Tuck was forced to hide the crate in. You hear a scrabbling through the door. This is it. Secret room. Oh yeah. Okay. It's locked. Tricks of the trade to pick the lock. Okay.

And I'll, I'll, I'll like block him with my body and look around. Plus dexterity. That's nine. Okay. You want eight? Yeah. I ate by blocking him with my body. Yeah, totally. And I may be like, cause the lock is kind of high for him. So I put them on the shelf that is my butt. And then so he has like a better purchase. Tuck's dump comes in handy once again. Seven. Okay. Great. Yes. Uh, so that makes Billy's nine to 10, which means you do it. No problem. Yeah.

So I, I just have that copper spoon that I keep in my hair now since I don't have the copper pin anymore. Yeah. And I click, click, click. And you pop it right off. All right. So let's, let's get in there. All right. Here we go. All right. Sleep. Yeah. And the crate is where Tuck left it. Uh, there's another box in there and the, the crate with the scrabbling is nailed shut for sure. Can I use fairy dust? To make it fall asleep? Yes. 26 plus charisma. Oh yeah. Seven plus two is nine. Okay.

So you just blow it through the hole. Yeah. And you hear like, and you hear like a clacking, like weird. Huh? Huh? Tuck takes the waning knife and he jams it in between. Yeah. And he like wriggles it open and then he rips the top off the box. Nice. Um, inside is a very strange little creature. It's front half has a taloned claws and bright, vibrant plumage and a head ending in like a hooked black beak.

And the back end is the feathers transition into silky brown fur and very grippy hand looking back limbs and a long tail with a little tuft of white on the end. What? Like a bird monkey thing. Yeah. It looks like it looks like a bird monkey in my head. Like a parrot, half parrot, half monkey. Yeah. Are you serious? Roll a spell or something about it maybe. Oh yeah. Yeah. Billy roll a Spout Lore about this. 2d6 plus intelligence. Holy shit. Did we just succeed? 10. Oh, it's good.

Cause I have zero intelligence. Okay. Perfect. Oh yeah. Beautiful. Uh, interesting and useful. So Billy, you've been around a while. Uh huh. This is an exceptionally rare animal called a Griffin. Oh, Oh, Whoa. And it is a little unusual cause you've only heard of like certain kinds of Griffins like regional, but they're always very rare. And this one appears to be like half Macaw and half monkey. Wow. I've only ever seen paintings of these. They're very, very rare.

And you know, as somebody that has seen value, uh, traded many, many times, extremely valuable. Wow. Okay. Wow. And now you're struck by the fact that you've, you've ripped the top off this crate that contained secret smuggled merchandise. And you hear footsteps quickly approaching. Fucking shit. Oh no. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long.

Playing Ving, the half elf sailor, Paul Oppers. Oh, hi, mateys. And playing fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica tie. Bye everyone. Uh, thank you to Aaron Reed, our incredible intro and outro music composer. That sentence started weird and ended, fine. Uh, thank you to all of our Patrion supporters that support us around the world. Uh, you can find us on Patrion at patrion.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money, please.

And thank you to discord user Quinn for the name Addernack all water, which started as pattern act all water, but we took away the P cause we already had a wizard with a P name and we liked the name so much that we just wanted to keep it anyways. Uh, that is something that $10 patrons do on our community discord, which is open to anybody. So feel free to join in, hang out, just chat. We're always in there fucking around. You can find us on the internet at Spout Lore, most places.

And thank you most of all to you for listening. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures. Three who tried the best they can, though dumb and scared and lost. They be for times of rest in revelry. And though our journey, maybe lie, a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I'd gladly Spout Lore.

If you like Spout Lore and you want spelt more of it, go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore for exclusive bonus content, bonus games, exclusive merchandise, and more. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Thing is half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does max the largest heart.

Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. For the city of Wickport, boarding the Clearwater under the command of Mender Maggie Cole. They also, as a parting gift, received two bookworms from Farah because she knew you would waste one of them.

I honestly, like, I was trying to find an in point so that when we walked away from her office, immediately one of them flew back, but it never happened. So we just have to. That would have been really funny, but it didn't happen. And you know what? It's really handy that you have two, actually. You were given a shard of obsidian from the tale of Black Spire as a parting gift.

Ving revealed to Tuck that he had swapped an obsidian coin for one of Black Spire's scales, which has been gifted to Tuck as a guitar pick. Yeah. Imbued with the power of Ving's Eye of the Tiger move, which will allow Tuck, at some point, presumably, to see through the eyes of, potentially communicate with, Black Spire. Then we travel. To Wickport. And you boarded the Clearwater. And we set sail for parts unknown.

Billy heading to the crow's nest with a bird-like man crow to keep an eye out for danger. Ving heading to the front of the boat and using his elemental mastery to become an absolute smash hit. Just a total fan favorite. And Tuck just kind of being told to carry boxes around. Carry one box. Correction. And that. Being told where to put it for a couple of hours. Yeah.

And due to whatever sort of failure in this chain, Tuck was brought below decks to shove the box in a hidden compartment by Bozen Eggs Benedict. Mm-hmm. And through a little bit of skullduggery, well, reverse skullduggery, I guess, the revealing of skullduggery, Billy determined that there seems to be a mutiny of Bruin. And Tuck determined that there's a smuggling operation, also a Bruin. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Billy and Tuck headed below decks as Ving distracted the crew with a rousing song and dance a la Gene Kelly and cracked open the case that Tuck had been carrying around, discovering a little griffin, a half parrot, half monkey creature snoozing after Billy put him to sleep with his fairy magic.

Upon discovering this creature, they heard footsteps swiftly approaching this compartment. And that is where we find our heroes. Now, what do you do? I grab Billy and I throw him in the box with the griffin. I slam the top on it. Okay. Give me a defy danger dexterity to do all that fast enough. Seven. So you do all that and you are panting with panic and exertion as Perel rounds the corner. Oh, fucking thank God. What's going on? What are you doing? I'm here to solve the mystery.

It's a fucking griffin in here, man. Oh, what? Come look. Oh. Fuck. Yeah. And Perel steps into the room. And just as he crosses the threshold, an arm whips out from around and gets him around the neck. Oh. And a body steps into view. And it's the shirtless bear tattoo. I kick the door into his face. Into Perel's face. Yeah. I guess both. Shit. Go ahead and roll a defy danger strength. Eight. Okay. You hit Perel. Perel, for sure. And Perel goes, ah!

And pushes this young man back into the crates on the other side of the door. And you have just a moment to react. I jump over the crumpled heap that is Perel and onto the guy. Okay. Another defy danger dexterity. Seven. Okay. You start wrestling with him, basically. Like, you're obviously stronger than him, but he is wriggling out of your grip and there's a lot of grunting and exertion. Billy, you hear a fucking kerfuffle. Okay. And I cannot reach the top of the box. Oh, right. Yeah.

I'm jumping. Let me out. Are you going to try and get out? Yeah, I guess so. Okay. How are you trying to get out? Are you going to, like, climb up or try and knock the box over? Yeah. I'm going to try to climb up using the breathing holes. Okay. Great. Defy danger dexterity. Suck at this. Five. Okay. You climb. You stick your fingers in the hole and you start pulling yourself up to the top and you get to the lid and you realize.

When Tuck slammed it shut, all the nails went back into place and you're stuck in here. I'm stuck. And you don't know if it's the kerfuffle or your lack of concentration, but you start hearing, like. I freeze, like. Oh, God. And we cut up to Ving. Yeah. You're just finishing your second song. What was the second one? Oh, it is a love ballad to a mermaid. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But Ving saw the sketchy young. Smuggler with the bear tattoo slink off and then run below decks.

So he gets a guy in front of him, like a gap tooth sailor. And he is playing the concertina and gets his hands inside of his and he's mimicking and the guy's just like, uh-huh. I'm doing it. Just backs off. Yeah. And jumps over the deck. Whoa. And grabs one of the ropes at the side and swings down through and into the porthole. Just like sick move. And tries to pin this bear tattoo kid. Fuck yeah. So I'm going to say that's probably light as a feather. Yeah. That's 10. Okay. Yeah.

You put the concertina in this gap tooth dude's hands and he starts going, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. And then half a second after you let go of his hands, it's like. I was like, but everybody's it's like a jovial booing. Like everybody's having a pretty good time, especially as you jump up into the air. Grab a line and swing off the deck and then back into the ship. But you basically you swing through a window like outside of this little chamber.

As you see tuck charge out of the room and start wrestling with this dude. Perfect tuck. You see just out of the corner. Your eye Ving has arrived somehow seemingly out of thin air. And this kid is starting to he's wrestling his hand toward his belt. And when I see Ving, I go. Ving. Ving. The true boy adventure man. Throw me your hat. Throw my hat real quick. It lands on his head perfectly. Beautiful. And as you lift a hand from this fight, you're actively in.

You see the kids hand shoot toward his belt. Now that he's got a hand free. Okay. What do you do? Smack him in the face really hard. All right. I was picturing you doing. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh. Oh. Oh.

The other side great seven uh so that makes tucks nine a ten and tuck just fucking wallops this kid in the side of the head roll your damage two yeah you just wallop him and he goes and his hand is coming back up with a knife and just as he's like getting ready to slap ving's other hand comes in and completes the ice cream sandwich that is your two hands in his face and he just like crosses his eyes and his hand lets go of the knife for a second I'll step on the knife defying your dexterity eight yeah he reaches for the knife and you just kick it out of the way and he's like but he's not gonna stop fighting and you hear uh from inside the room and a box kind of jumbling back and forth billy this thing is about to wake up yeah I I'm just like hi little cute baby bird I am a friend I don't know what sounds you like bird noises or monkey sounds that kind of covers both of them thankfully give me a defy danger charisma ten okay you see its eyes start to open because it's got eyes on the side of its parrot head and they blink open and one of them just looks like a bird and it's like oh my god I'm a bird I'm a bird I'm a bird I'm a bird I'm a bird I'm a bird it's right at you and it doesn't do anything okay but it's looking at you very like what do I do I also think what do I do and I put out my hand kind of like to give it a sniff hey friend I mean no harm I am also stuck in the box with you together together we can survive the box it doesn't do anything but that is the success is that right now it's not doing anything uh and we'll cut back to the fight really quick this kid is he's trying to get out of your reach basically he's trying to get one hand free uh there's a stool nearby so tuck grabs that and just slams it on his chest you know like a chair leg on either side and then sits on it okay that's gonna be defied ninja strength eight okay roll uh d6 four okay you get that stool and in that movement but just before you slam it on his chest he cracks you in the jaw just with a fucking just with a meaty balled up fist just whack but it's the only hit he's able to get before you hold him down completely fucking good hit dude he's like you want another one let me up I'll give you all the hits you want I'm I don't know I'm that I was good for that one that was solid though you come on let me up I mean I felt that in my nose you hit me in the jaw I felt it in my nose yeah call that a bone shaker let me up I'll give you another one I think should I let him up I mean do you think that he do you think that we could take him I mean yeah probably but it would probably belabor this whole situation don't talk about me like I'm not here let me up and show me what you got big guy somebody somebody roll something to get this kid to cool it why don't you just cool it pal you're a little smuggler because he's a 21 year old sailor with a full chest tattoo he's never cooled it a day in his life uh you've got a bear tattooed on your chest you know I used to be a bear once in a while that is not gonna get him to calm down you know it's good for you you'll shut the front door before I maul you dude listen to what we have to say calm down please plus charisma eight okay he just slumps okay fine why are you trying to hurt us why are you snooping around this is none of your business well I mean we work for maggie there's a word box in here it kind of is our business uh uh sorry really he's trying to be like snippy but he's having a hard time I feel like it's none of your business uh I I disagree who are you working for on the ship I don't have to tell you I'm working for the ship you know I'm working for the captain and he like salutes like ahoy you know sailing okay well we've heard through certain circles and tuck gestures at the box that uh maybe there's a little bit of a mutiny afoot bear guy you ever heard of that word discern realities six okay laid okay yeah okay so you get one question from the discern realities list what should I be on the lookout for uh he when you start talking about the mutiny just before he's like I don't know what you're talking about looks terrified that you might know oh yeah and then I remember oh fuck billy's in a box with a griffin what what you should have started with that billy and run over the box yeah the lid you can pop it off and billy is I am feeding the the griffin some of the dried fruit that I had it's still in my pockets that were loose and dangling around nice yeah it's like reaching up with one of its front talons and just like puts it up into its beak yeah so this one is dried wapple which is very nice but I like it better when it's fresh off the tree and it's like slowly getting up and sitting on its back feet and just taking fruits and nuts from billy and then it looks up at ving and ving says hello there we mean you no harm hello hey buddy you're real neat uh billy you hear that too uh-huh oh what yeah oh because of the ring uh no what like it just says hello hello hi hello oh okay oh it puts another night in ving not talk to the griffin no it can it's right now just saying hello okay he's most yeah he's saying hello and griffin as well hello hello that's what ving oh fuck yeah my friend thank you for bringing me these nuts these nuts you heard me I like this guy I wish to be uh removed from this box now please no problem the box is open you're free to go this is billy are we the nut boy merci please don't call him that and billy you here yes anytime let me see if I have more you must excuse the way I speak to your little friend I do not have a what shall I say mastery of the human languages that's all right but I appreciate you removing me from this present I appreciate you being calm and cool and collected in french that's really neat thank you it is uh again not france different place fantasy we come up with it later uh but there from now I think I will leave we no oh please stick around for a while it uh like hunches down a little bit and starts to ruffle its feathers when you say no perhaps perhaps we can help each other I helped you you can help us there's a lot of people who are gonna freak out when they see that you're gone and we need people not to freak out on a boat you've been on a boat before right you're a pirate griffin aren't you I am just myself I have no vocations but uh what is in it for moi uh where are you trying to get from where where are you where did they find you where are you trying to be I have been many places many times in my travels and by that I mean I was taken as a chick and traded from person to person and I wish to not be done so anymore do you even know where you come from I come from a beautiful place of palm trees and of beautiful fruits and nuts well that's where we are trying to get to I feel like you may be lying to me yeah because I made this face really questioning my own words as long as I am treated well I would live anywhere well I do love to see new places I'm a traveler at heart we've got a lot of people who are going to be there for us we've got a lot of fruit and nuts with us and a lot of good people in this room everyone else sucks all right roll a parlay 2d6 plus charisma we've got fruit and nuts for years nine nine okay can I help yes please you get the fruits and nuts yeah I find I find some more in my back pockets and it's like lots of crunchy crunchy nuts and also some protein cubes mr bird baby boy thing I have more snacks to eat I have more snacks for you if you want to eat them oh my hand you can or I could put them on the floor of the box roll 2d6 plus bond seven okay yeah so after you're like yeah we're pretty cool and there's nuts and everybody else sucks shit it reaches down and takes a nut with its like back monkey paw out of billy's hand and kind of trades it to the other monkey paw back and forth thoughtfully is like proceed uh what do we want to do?

What do we want to do with this guy? I mean you don't want to go back in the box but we need to make sure that nobody knows that we know that you're in there what if we hide him under our stuff and present him to maggie that's what I imagine as proof of mutiny and also this guy yeah chuck says from where he is he's still sitting on the seat you can't no you can't chuck's you know what they no don't cut me off this is my life is hanging in the balance you know what they do to mutineers?

What do they do? Fucking hang them bro oh that sucks you shouldn't have started a mutiny dude I didn't start a fucking shit man okay whose idea was it?

Uh uh I don't know that's all he says you can see him shaking his head back and forth going uh I don't know and trying to think of something witty to say and he just keeps shaking his head back and forth and it you don't even have to roll for this this kid is not the brains of the operation well maybe you can tell that to maggie I shout from my box I can't no I don't even also this guy doesn't know that billy's in the box so he thinks that the griffiths do I can't look I didn't know this thing could talk man I don't even want to be here anymore what is that I didn't even know what was in the box they don't tell me what's in the boxes spill your guts before we spill your guts okay uh we could yeah we'll do a discern realities and then I can just holy shit monster plus wisdom 11 okay three questions who really is in can we know that one yeah it but it's for sure I can confirm it look I know you say things that you know but you can hear from me what if I say it too it's ex-benedict man it's ex-benedict what here is useful or valuable to us wait you guys knew it was you're you're acting like this is not a surprise to you yeah we already knew we kind of already knew you guys are not being so sneaky I thought we were being so sneaky what's with being your sneaky smile at each other out on the upper decks you can see that yeah I saw it all you gotta get me out of here man I can't I don't want to deal with haunted boxes anymore anymore what was the other one yeah what's what's here what here is useful and valuable to us um okay look eggs is like making a lot of promises to a lot of people but like I know that it's been about 45 seconds of me uh being defenseless and I don't want to even do it anymore so like if you were to get him out of the way quick before he could spring the trap the whole thing probably fall apart trap what's about to happen uh well I mean like it's I don't know the plan was like two days from now to get to where we gotta go we gotta like dip around this really kind of dangerous like reef area and that was gonna take us pretty far out to sea and that was when eggs was gonna go like do it and we were gonna go fuck yeah and I was gonna take care of things but that's two days away but if he if he thinks that the jig's up he might do it early what here's not what appears to be okay look you want some like good info you want the like good stuff the info come here lean forward no just tell us from down there man just lean in a little I don't want to and he shoots his hands up and he's like I'm gonna get you he tries to hit you in the face again I had to try you understand I had to try try what he tries it again okay all right fine there's a ship following there's a ship following us and they were gonna fucking love this guy's vibe yeah they were gonna meet up with us and they were gonna help with the mutiny and we were gonna ship that was the plan oh shit so that means even if we deal with eggs he like we're gonna have a fucking another ship on our tail regardless yeah no no but that doesn't mean that my info is not valuable it means that like if you plan right you could ambush the other ship this thing's fucking huge oh yeah ship battle never done one of those battleships you have you have done one of those it was the climactic event in a season that's what this guy's saying you guys don't remember even I know you fought the fucking what's that the purifier yeah yeah your quests are your quests are famously daring thank you I do know the words I know you guys by name and by deed uh you used to work for eggs now you work for us you got that yeah word man sure yeah totally what do you guys what's like slap him in the face you got that yeah I got it what's the salary like five five gold coins a day oh yeah that's like more than I make in a month are you serious yeah that sucks shit gold is really valuable what's your pay yeah like like five silver a week five gold coins a day sounds fucking amazing I'll do whatever you want okay yeah five gold coins a day you want me to punch myself in the face I'll do it five gold coins not really that one was for free you make it six and I'll do it again I don't want you to do it again stop it three gold coins if you're playing okay all right cool let me know okay okay okay I went too early that time I went too early he goes I punch him in the balls because I expected it riding my cargo shorts okay all right I'm cool we're cool what if we get him to meet us at maggie's office separately yes yes yeah because we don't want people to see us together what's this are you working with this box why does it keep giving you ideas billy's like trying to jump up but he's like yeah I think keeping this mystery alive is working for us yeah okay I'll go I'll go to the I'll go to the captain's cabin okay yeah meet us there in 20 minutes man okay and we'll go there right now and he gets up and just as he's walking away he turns around and goes and he tries to lunge you one more time like really just like does a hard tap on on his cargo short air and he just crumples into a box and goes oh god stop doing that man I'm just I'm a fighter at heart bro I know but you're not good at it or at least follow through oh man okay I'll get you one day but not today because I'm getting five gold coins six if I no dude okay all right I'll see you guys in a bit what's your name ah shit I thought I was gonna get away before you asked me that as bruno bruno because of that and he points at his bear tattoo yeah he points at his bear tattoo and he realized that when tuck was sitting on him he like drew all over it and it has like a hat and a monocle now oh actually it looks pretty tight okay bye and he runs away like sprints away that guy's like at 11 all the time and he dives over a bunch of boxes he goes and he misses and he gets back up and he runs away should we take this griffin to maggie's quarters yeah um hey birdie do you want to hide under my shirt fruits and nuts fruits and nuts billy's like trying to like be like come here and uh it looks at ving and he goes the boy is trying to constrain me within his short folds what do I do he's just giving you a a solitude to enjoy your fruits and nuts in ah okay think of it as the the cool canopy of a palm tree ah we're going to he crawls up under billy's shirt awesome and it is the opposite of a cool canopy of a palm tree it is a sweaty jungle in there and he goes I just like my humid homeland and billy you are mystified by the sensation of soft gripping like human-like paws and then sharp talons and fur and feathers just a whole bunch of feelings so nice and horrible and uh you guys head to maggie's office and the camera lingers just a moment upon the other box and we cut to maggie's cabin maggie oh yeah hey what's what's going on wait is carolyn in the room yes she's leaning up against a desk can we talk to maggie alone please she looks at maggie maggie nods and caroline leaves thank you what's going on okay so I know we've only been at sea three hours but we're going to be there in a minute so I'm going to be there in a minute and I'm going to we uncovered a mutiny one it has been longer than that look at a watch to a mutiny I can't read analog clocks okay what do you mean analog clocks are there other kinds of clocks yeah there's digital yeah what the fuck is the digital when you count on your fingers that is not accurate tuck what are you doing this many hours what do you mean a mutiny hold on don't shush me I'm just saying that if people hear this that are onto the mutiny they're gonna mutiny right now she uh walks up to the door opens at a crack and goes no one gets within six feet of this door and she closes it what do you mean a mutiny I lift up my shirt I mean this and it comes it uh yeah and being you hear it go I am revealed I am revealed you and uh it actually does go like squawk and fly right at maggie wait friend she catches it and maggie goes whoa what the hell is this thing and then wickers there and she freaks out oh my god her hackles are up she climbs up a bookcase yeah she's just sitting on the top of it like what in the diamond hills is this thing it's it's a griffin it's a pirate griffin it's cargo it's smuggling goods oh okay all right can I can somebody else take it please yeah here hand it to billy oh thank you yes this small boy will hold me not be a large woman whom I do not trust because she has no fruit in that not like this one here billy you just hear fruit nut okay but you have to be quiet so this thing was on the ship yeah down below decks like that's where it's at yeah down below decks like that's where it's at down below decks like that's where it's at like on the bottom deck benedict made me put this fucking box in there benedict when we were trying to uh check it out they got attacked by that dumb kid with the big popeye arms and the bear chest tattoo yeah bruno he's a real card but he confirmed it like there is a mutiny afoot he said when we got further out to some like reef there's some yeah the some horn we have to go around that's really we have to slow down and it's secluded and we have to go around and we have to you know that pirate ship that's not a pirate ship yeah that's their that's their smuggling ship they're going to be meeting us there around the reef in a day or two I guess that's what he said the one that was following us yeah oh oh oh man okay where'd you get eggs oh he I mean we got him we got him in the principalities before we came over we got him in black glass and I did think it was kind of weird we got to wickport and he was gone for like too long when we got to port uh but he just said he was on a bender yeah I guess he had connections there god on my own ship didn't even notice slipping up getting old okay I mean we've got bruno working for us now oh good okay um I could always just send caroline take him grab eggs can we trust caroline what do you mean well she was she was spying on us the whole time you know what if what if she's in on it well she was spying on you on my orders I see okay yeah it makes sense it makes a lot of sense show she works for you okay no no no no billy don't get me wrong it's always good to be wary of those around you to the point of paranoid suspicion it's always important to be vigilant in all ways ving rings behind her and pulls out a bag of pipe halfling pipe where are you guys getting who's your dealer everyone's gonna stop smoking this shit well I mean I guess we could outrun him or we could just vice him head on yeah what about when the horn we turn around and face him oh yeah we set up an ambush ambush we do a shit battle we've never done that ah that really that's news to me uh okay yeah so we'll wait until we get to uh what's the name of this it's like it's like rocks basically it's like a huge field of jagged rocks devil's grin okay that's a pretty good name all right so we're gonna get to the devil's grin in uh yeah like a day and a half I guess we wait because if we call it too early then eggs will know something's up or his crew will know something's up they must be checking in somehow also that halfling woman uh knew the smuggler song and she was acting real suspicious like so I think that maybe she might be one of the mutineers halfling woman uh-huh oh peanuts yes okay we'll keep an eye on her too and the the griffin goes fruit nuts fruit nuts fruit nuts uh in the meat in the meantime you might want to keep this thing under wraps she points at the griffin I have an idea right oh well I'm stuck up in the crow's nest with bernard and bernard doesn't really come down here so I could just bring the griffin up with me yeah that would work all right what if it flies away you won't fly away my shirt's really tight okay I really shouldn't trust that as the fail safe but I guess I can't not he's in a bulk all right then uh yeah keep an eye out see if there's anything else you can learn about the mutineers and then in a couple and when we get to devil's grin we'll spring it who do you trust on this boat uh caroline greg us so anyways find out what you can about the mutineers and in a couple days we'll we'll see I'll we'll we'll take care of this I guess okay sounds good okay good luck you as well all right and you go griffin yeah knock knock knock and uh the door opens and it's caroline and she has bruno in a headlock this guy tried to get in like five times every time I turned him around and beat his ass he tried again and she's like guys you didn't tell her that I was coming she she really knows how to hurt a person emotionally oh so mean you gotta help you gotta tell her let me go oh yeah this bruno he's working with us now oh you said that you didn't say he was coming here yeah we forgot okay great caroline let him go and he tumbles to the ground and he gets up and he sits there in like an iron man pose with like one fist on the ground one knee up and he's like just as I planned and he runs it and goes cut yeah to later on after you guys explain you guys explain what you're doing and then you're like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die and then you're like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die what bruno's deal will be which is I guess confidential informant oh yeah that's a good idea perel I you know what I like to think that I'm the master of this operation and I am so excited that we're gonna stop a mutiny together it's gonna be cool yeah I don't really have anything to contribute I was gonna say what are you planning on doing I'm not sure you all came to me we just wanted to fill you in on what was going on thank you you're old you have ancient wisdom what have you heard about the bruno's deal and I'm like I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die ancient wisdom that's what you think I have this is the first time I'm saying it I'm hoping it's true I could tell you what kind of clothing was in style 200 years ago that's the kind of wisdom I got well how how how long are you gonna want to hang out in that closet for oh um I am kind of hiding now okay in the closet yeah no sorry I'm just I you know I fall into my old ways the magic like I've whatever no I'm ready to go I can do this I've been training I trained look at me and he like taps his chest and taps his abs there's a little bit of pudge around his midsection to be sure but he's ready to go he's a man of action he's dirk adventure man of action you've been doing your your katas yeah I've been practicing cool you look great thank you you can do it okay so what do you need from me well I was gonna take this bird up with me but if you were hiding I was gonna maybe give it to you but if you want to be dirk adventure boy then you be the adventure boy that you were born to be okay all right yeah actually hiding the thing in this closet is a pretty good idea I want to be a dirk adventure boy of action but and uh ving you hear it go this man is so bald and small but fruit did not he have and yeah uh perel will hold on to the griffin in the closet because he's pretty sure that nobody comes to this closet and yeah in the meantime what is each of your plans for the next couple days in preparation I guess yeah ving has knowledge of like the rigging and stuff right we've been we've established that so maybe he can like go around and kind of like saw something halfway or like set it up so it's a trap so we can like do something quick turn yeah drop oh yeah so you can take control of the ship really quickly quickly yeah that's really cool surprise yeah I like that a lot okay um other things that you might want to do are find out just how many people in the crew are prepared to mutiny I can do that okay I can pretend to be a disgruntled employee that's really good I also want a mutiny I've only been here for two days yeah I hate it you can start with peanuts yeah I'll talk to peanuts and billy I don't know yet okay we can even start with like talk to peanuts and then we can do that okay I can do that okay I can do that okay so we'll start with uh ving so you're gonna go around and try and create some sort of uh contingency plan to take control of the ship 2d6 plus intelligence oh man can I use my history of boat knowledge no nice 11 oh my god okay massive fucking roll so boats are in his bones yeah it's true you have a deep relationship with vessels uh so tell me uh so tell me what you're going to do with the ship uh I'm going to go around and try and create tell me what you want to do this will ensure that basically when ving decides he wants to you will be in full control of like the sails the steering everything what if because like you have experience with like ice racers which are very mechanically advanced so what if you were able to like rig it up so that you could take control of all of the ships from the like I like back a few seasons ago from like one point in the boat right yeah he was going around and like tying this rigging and making it look like it's all set up but having like this extra rope people won't really notice going to this other knot and like this other cleat over here he uh has a line coming up from the rudder that uh is going to the helm that is kind of like on the back and something that he can quick steer from that's great and so basically there's a point on the ship that is not at the helm where ving can just take control I like that a lot creating like simple machines and stuff out of stuff that's just on the ship yeah yeah like pulleys and everything he's been like whittling down pulleys and making his own stuff maybe there's like innocuous lines that like if you cut them it like removes control from like the main I was yeah I was thinking of like something that will disable the helm yeah in a moment's notice sick yeah that's really cool he does it all at night whenever he wants to cool and during a mess because he doesn't need to eat so everybody is down below decks in the galley yeah that's really cool and yeah it makes sense because like they all sleep and eat in shifts just for like there's always people on deck but you've figured out the points where like people are changing that over so you'll have some time alone cool and tuck has begun to walk amongst the crew to suss out the rest of the interlopers yeah and I want to like really just be like fucking shit maggie's been like reaming me out because I don't know anything about sailing and I said I did it's fucking shit I don't know anything about sailing and I said I did it's fucking shit bullshit man if I had my druthers like he rips a page off a word of the day calendar I would fucking oh god do whatever you know he's saying this to peanuts he's like in the mess he's like fucking this meal is so tiny so hungry so hungry and mad and like willing to like follow a charismatic and angry leader he rips another page off the word of day calendar and throws charismatic on the ground so roll a 2d6 plus charisma seven so peanuts is sitting there drinking from a halfling sized mug of grog and is like oh fuck yeah bud I hear you we're fucking sailors bud like she does who she thinks she is right I know right some fucking who's it washed up whatever comes onto the ship and starts being like hey I know more about sailing than you do I hate these fucking financier sort of people yeah and her whole vibe is that she thinks she's better than us yeah what is up with that yeah it's like oh I'm you know yeah it's like fucking the armor and stuff and the way that she talks like using all the right words I know it's like fuck look like not everybody has the right you know like diction yeah rips another page on the calendar not everybody thinks when they fucking talk and they can't you know what I mean yeah man fucking for sure so look I shouldn't be saying this out loud but we're fucking planning a little special something so you want some things to change maybe you fucking uh maybe you uh you know fucking you know yeah I'm in I'm like huge so like I can do whatever you want I just fucking don't want to work for her anymore yeah can I be a part of your thing can I parlay uh yeah she's definitely inviting you so you don't necessarily have to parlay but if you want something extra you can ask for it yeah yeah that's the thing is she's not like come on here's everybody that's in the crew she's just like yeah if you're fucking interested oh can I can I have your tater tots I don't know what fucking no but okay fine what's your parlay here dude can you introduce me to some of the other people that are I feel like I'm on the outside I don't know anybody what are you offering her like I guess like like I'll look out for her if like shit goes bad okay yeah yeah so that is a promise you're making uh-huh keep that in mind okay is that you will watch out for her okay okay well maybe yeah roll for it 2d6 plus charisma for a parlay fuck seven okay on a seven and nine you have to give her concrete assurance of something right now okay yeah no I think I could you know I could fucking use somebody your size keeping an eye out for me yeah I got my ways but you know it's a big world I'm a small lady yeah how about you uh you go beat the shit out of ted over there and uh you can come you can come aboard I can introduce you to people I look over at ted what's his vibe ted is wiry he's like 160 pound greyhound muscle huge scar down his face he's sharpening a knife on his own wooden leg and he stabs it into the table and he spits out his own tooth because it just was falling out because he's so much of a pirate and I lean into peanuts and I'm like okay ted seems to have like a missing limb and his teeth are just falling out yeah and it's fucking his thing like what do you want what do you want me to say I don't know he He just seems like…

I think he's also talking like… But Maggie is the best. Isn't she amazing? I would do anything for her. Yeah, totally. He's like, I love this captain. She's… It's finally… It's good to have some direction again on this. On the seas. She knows her stuff. And I'm like, he just seems differently abled. And I don't want to beat him up. Hey, look, man. You don't know Ted. Obviously. Yeah. He'll beat your ass. Okay, fine. If you don't think you can do it, that's fine. I just… No, it's fine.

No, no, no. It's fine. It's fine. I'm not going to take this seriously. It's fine. Okay, hold on one second. I just need him to attack me first. And I'm like… And I'm like, hey, Ted. Yeah? Your… Your… Nose. I'll kill you. Such a sailor. And he dives across the table. He grabs that knife. Out of the wood. And he dives across the table at you. Okay. I guess I'm fighting him. Yeah. Defy danger. Because he jumps at you first. He surprises you. Yeah. I guess I take the knife hit.

And I'm just like… I want to just take him and slam him into the ground. Okay. 2d6 plus constitution. 13. Okay. So you said you were taking the hit. Yeah. So roll a d6. Three. Okay. Yeah. So you feel ostensibly… Theoretically, you feel his knife. You feel his knife. You feel his knife. You feel his knife. You feel his knife. You feel his knife. You feel his knife. You feel his knife. You feel his knife. But not that much. Yeah. And he's just like… I'll kill you. Okay, man.

I'll kill you too. Roll a hack and slash. Nine. Yeah. So he pulls his knife out. And he stabs you again. So roll your damage. And then also a d6. Ten. Five. Oh my gosh. You deal him ten damage. Which is going to knock his shit in the dirt. So how do you know?

Knock him out I really don't want to hurt this guy too bad so I just I shove him I push like I I put my hand on his chest and I push him backwards and then I continue to push and then I push him up and over the table the like long table that's behind him and then I push him into the trash can behind and I slam him down pretty hard and then I just put the lid on the trash can and the last thing you hear as you're putting the lid on is I'll kill you and he's out cold in the garbage can and peanuts is like nice one bud thanks I got stabbed a couple of times there yeah and you took it like a fucking champ bud thanks all right you know what you're in okay cool all right you uh you come meet us after dark okay cool tell you everything you need to know where what part of the ship uh you'll know because I'll tell you right now it's at the front okay yeah cool yeah you're a fucking killer bud thanks yeah man good to have you on the team I'm killer yeah I'm so happy to be on the team absolute murderer you are yeah totally I'm I'm a cold blooded just see the fucking blood lust in your eyes but I love it you just got you know you're the kind of person that you know what I I love blood nice and peanuts walks away but she keeps turning around and going nice is peanuts into me she gives you two fingers nice okay cool peanuts and she goes away and then you see her crawl up and peep over a bunch of boxes okay nice I'm gonna go up top she's gone okay uh yeah so tuck has successfully infiltrated the mutineers has billy devised a plan for helping with the preparations yeah so billy's gonna use connections oh!

Oh cool and he would like to spread rumors about eggs to create tension between the mutineers fuck yeah to create distrust between them okay 2d6 plus charisma fuck 4 plus 2 is 6 do I have something what does luck of the fairy do uh remember the um one of the fairy child moves is turn a 6 into a 6 and you're like oh my god a woman's a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman in the mutiny and I just say stuff I don't know like hey how's it going oh uh um me yeah it's going great uh would you like a dinner roll there was extra oh uh yeah okay sure and this pirate like puts earth this sailor puts their broom down and takes a roll and it's like thanks kid no problem I have a lot if you want another uh I'm not gonna say no to free rolls sure here you go hey no problem just don't you know wink wink oh I'm not gonna tell anyone cool hey what we're tight I'll look out for you okay all right yeah we're tight if I have extra I'll come back around later sounds okay cool thanks thanks kid bye he shoves it into his pouch and uh the seven to nine on that is like you get something close okay uh billy does not remember who he was told was on the mutineer crew so he's just putting the rolls on anybody yeah and he's definitely gonna sew tension who with who can say so uh I go up to another person I think is in the mutiny yeah hi hi hey I don't know I don't know about you but did you notice that that guy got extra food yeah from eggs benedict was handing him out to his favorites yeah!

Oh I'm sorry I didn't tell you to feel bad just keep an eye out ah all right I will be seeing you later I'll car okay good night the shot shifts to a wide and billy is talking to an actual parrot with a little hat on walking back and forth on a bucket anyway I do that yeah totally so yeah billy's just walking around being like hey just rumors to anybody that'll listen and putting rolls wherever he can hide them and that is going to create some sort of ticking time bomb tension scenario oh yeah billy's just set a fuse love it uh okay anything else that we want to know that was it yeah next couple days pass and you go back to maggie and she's like all right we're going to be a devil's grin by midday everything's ready to go yeah yeah you we've uh reinforced the starboard side of the boat anticipating the attack from the pirate smuggler ship.

I have planted the seed of distrust within the mutineers and there has been a huge increase in fights on the deck so I guess it's working. And then Tuck rolls out like a sheet of paper with like drawings and descriptions of people and is like these are all the people who are the mutineers too. Oh whoa y'all are great at this. What have you done? Uh Captain DeVessel does finger quotes. Watch yourself. Uh yeah no we've got people in place. I've got loyals amongst my crew. Caroline's out there.

Greg's out there. Others presumably. Bruno. Oh god Bruno. He's a real piece of work huh? He's been a handful. He has been. He's like too enthusiastic. He keeps coming back and being like hey boss you need anything else from me and then every once in a while he'll like try and jump me and I have to whoop him. He's really into fighting so he should either be a help or a massive hindrance but okay noon we're gonna pass the reef and then we're gonna do it. We're gonna do it. What is it?

Come on again maybe just remind me real quick what the maneuver the ship is doing is. Okay so according to Ving what he's told me of what he's done we are going to pass into the devil's grin. The ship pursuing us is going to follow. We're gonna slow down a little bit. Ving's gonna engage his mechanisms. Yeah. We'll be heading towards the devil's grin. They'll come up on our stern.

We will drop the mast and then I'll create a gust of wind and grab the rudder to the side and they'll be launched around us slingshotting them into the reef. All right. Wow. Does that sound like a plan? That sounds like such an amazing plan Ving. And just before that Billy I need you to kind of light the fuse on the tensions. No problem. Get the mutineers all you know confused. Yeah. Billy and I have a plan about that. We sure do. Fist bump. Yeah. All right. And the bird thing is safe? Hidden?

Oh yeah. I've checked on Perel a lot and him and the bird seem to be getting along pretty well. Oh that's good. Yeah. Okay. Uh Perel has a huge supply of nuts. I made sure I went into the stocks below deck and I took a whole bunch of bags up. Okay. Perfect. Cut to Perel's broom closet for a second. Like huge sacks of nuts. He's like sitting on top of them like fuck I have no room for my legs. Like basically at the roof of the closet. Awesome.

And she's like oh and also we went down and we checked what else they were smuggling. Oh the other box. Yeah. There's another box. Oh shit. It's a bunch of vials. Oh yeah. Full of some liquid that we've been too frightened to check. I can look thing. Yeah. Look let's look I have mystery liquids. Okay. Yeah. I've got one. I've got one here. I've got one here. She hands it to you. It's a vial of liquid. What color is it? It is gold gold. Okay. Yeah.

Whoa sick like gold like clear gold or like thick clear gold clear gold. Okay. Then give me a I guess a spelt Lord eight. Okay. So yeah Jessica tell me what this is. Fuck wait. Can you could you use things sage move? Is this those? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Call me. Thank you because that's how things thing works is if you consult thing. We're just both looking at it. Okay, you get an extra plus two on Spout Lore if being helps you with it. Oh, hey thing. Can you help me?

I mean I can we can try should I taste it? You know what? I'll taste it. Okay. You know what? I'll smell it first. Oh it smells like sulfur. Okay. Let me try something thing takes dips his finger in it and it on the ground and it it hardens and begins expanding. It starts like like bubbling up from the ground. And hardening as it does. So and then there's like this weird little kind of like reverse dripping shape on the ground. Does it hardened into gold solid gold? Yeah, it's like a gold color.

Hmm. Maybe it's from doing like reproductions or um, oh, you know counterfeit. Yeah, I was gonna say it could this could be like Spout Lore versions of fool's gold. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, it's fool's gold. Oh, yeah. Uh, it's called forger's gold forger's gold. Yeah. And it's good for counterfeiting. Nice. Yeah, it bursts up like that and it looks really real but it's hollow inside. Oh cool. Yeah, sweet. So you if you know how to you can make a bunch of like hollow coins and shit. Yeah.

And for like when you open them up, it'll look like open a chest or somebody a bag. It'll be like whoo be sand in it if they need to weigh it down. Yeah. Cool. That's cool. It's just yeah. And Maggie's like, oh wow. Okay. It's pretty. Cool stuff. Yeah, I think takes a vial. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. For legal purposes Maggie for legal purposes for research. Okay. All right. Fine. All right. And you know what? Once this is done, you guys can do whatever you want with it. Really cool.

We should become forger. No, no, no, no, no. Hold on. Well, actually I do a lot of that's actually not a terrible idea. We'll talk about it later. But right now we got a plan to enact right. Let's go. Let's do it. Cut. To the dinner hall where I I am getting bags of spaghetti so much spaghetti. I'm like I have it on like a stick like a bindle. Yeah, but like a ton of bags on this boat is making spaghetti chef. Yeah, there was a guy last episode that was elbow deep in a bucket of spaghetti.

That's oh my God. You're absolutely right there. What was I thinking? They brought cooked spaghetti in a barrel and I've enlisted Bruno has helped to help me hand out spaghetti to specific members of the mutineer. Yeah, totally. Yeah. And then saying that like with an earshot of another mutineer. Yeah, it's a gift from Benedict. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, cool. And tuck and Billy have worked out like a fuse that will blow the whole thing and it's Ted. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense.

Ted's been itching for a rematch. Yeah, so you keep your handing out the spaghetti with Bruno and Bruno's like, hey, secret spaghetti. He walks into another person goes secret spaghetti. Hey, Bruno. Remember you have to say it's from Benedict. Oh, yeah, but Benedict spaghetti. He's doing okay. So I go like I will go to like that person again. Second bag of spaghetti.

Just to clarify to clarify the this is compliments of ex Benedict and it's to compliment you for a job well done and he's saying, hey, I love you. You're my favorite. You have worked so hard employee of the month. Here you go. And then tuck is sitting at another table where Ted is sitting at and like he's pointing and he's like, what the fuck did those mutineers get way more spaghetti than us? I want spaghetti to Ted. Why don't you have any spaghetti? What do you mean spaghetti?

Look at all that spaghetti over there. I'll kill him. He grabs his knife and he starts running along the table. Is this too soon or is it okay? This is where I was about to say that like Caroline is walking down the steps from the top deck and she looks at you and she nods and then she looks and she sees Ted already running at somebody and goes, okay, goes back upstairs and Ted tackles a guy to the ground and it's just like I'll kill you spaghetti bastard and then he's like get off me Ted.

You fucking mutineer. He goes, I'm a mute. You're a mutineer and then the whole table that Ted was sitting at like rushes over to fight everyone that has spaghetti. Yeah, the ship lists and everybody like everybody that is not a main like, you know, eggs or Greg or whoever is like you're a mutineer. You're a mutineer and they're all just fighting each other. Yeah, and it's pandemonium. There's spaghetti everywhere. Somebody starts playing shaking a baby now shaking a baby. Yeah, the band yeah.

Yeah, so there's still people above decks that are working but below decks is fucking pandemonium. Yeah. So what do you guys do? I run up to the top deck Billy. Are you coming with? Yes. Sorry. I was eating the leftover spaghetti food fight is Billy's prime scenario. Yeah, it's just everywhere. Yeah.

And you guys run upstairs onto the top deck and yeah, it's just like tuck is like he's he's up to on the top deck and like not everyone's fighting quite yet and he's just like I run out of spaghetti because some fucks have been eating all of it. It's on the floor downstairs people like no the spaghetti they start running downstairs. Yeah, what about the kids are still garlic bread? We robbed that Olive Garden for nothing eggs. Benedict ate all the garlic bread Benedict you son of a bitch.

Yeah, and you see their plans kind of working the mutineers are just like they're doing their thing. Yeah, they stop it, but you definitely like tuck you see somebody that you know is not a mutineer get punched in the face by somebody going you got damn mutineer like nobody knows who is actually mutineering.

Yeah, it's a real smoke screen and then you are, you know, wandering about as people start to freak out and you see in the distance the devil's grin start to rise from the water huge jagged peaks of gray stone not unlike a sharp teeth in a furious maw rise from the waves creepy.

What do you do and behind us is a mutineer ship coming up quick blue period is arriving with a beautifully painted hall made to look like the midday sky and they've painted a little sun on their sale like they'll never see us. And yeah, they're coming up on you fast. What do you do? Well, I pull the levers. Let's do this. It's time. Okay.

Now you run up you engage all of your levers the sails drop you feel the anchor clink clink clink clink clink clink clink the helm the guy at the helm at the steering wheel that he hears is like it shudders and clicks and then pulls a rope that's underneath a board in the thing and pulls like just spins out knocks him in his teeth. Hell yeah, and you are now attempting your elemental mastery move. Yes, I am 2d6 plus wisdom. Here we go. Oh great. Oh man, no, it's a nine.

Oh yeah, but I would like to use luck of the fair folk to aid from any distance. Okay, so yeah, roll your 2d6 plus bond. Oh a 10. Yes. Okay, that 10 makes things 9 a 10, which means he gets to choose to elemental mastery. I will choose the effect you desire comes to pass and you retain control. You drop the sail you drop anchor the ship comes to a screeching halt.

Yeah, you got his feet on the on the port side and he's a full length with the ropes, you know, neither side and he's like pulling and as the ship like starts to jerk to a halt everybody on the deck just like jerks forward a bunch of people hit the deck. Yeah, tuck tumbles forward a bunch of people get buried under crates of spaghetti down below deck turns out there's so much more than people thought like wait a second.

I got why do I only brought spaghetti and as blue period comes up hard on your starboard side Ving calls upon the powers of the wind and their sails fill to bursting and their deck starts to shake as they rip past you at record speeds, which means that they are not quite prepared to loose a volley from their cannons. So they don't fully get the ship, but they still do let loose as they come up on the side.

So Ving you're holding onto the ship and you look and you feel the silence in the air just before the barrage and then boom boom boom boom boom boom what do you do? Well tuck takes he sees a few coming for him and he takes the axe and he starts baseballing them back. He can he do that prepares to try to baseball them back. Yes, okay. Oh, can I use TLC for the that's a that's like for the blood God, right? Yeah, I don't think that's quite no. Okay, how it would work.

I mean, I guess it could because it's destruction. I'm destroying the cannonballs. I you know what? It's pretty cool. Let's try it. So what's that you're initiated in the ways of sacrifice choose something that your gods value when you're you sacrifice those things as per your rights and rituals rule plus wisdom on a 10 plus the GM will grant you insight into your current trouble or a boon to help you. Okay on a seven and nine the sacrifice is not enough and then they take of your flesh.

Okay, okay, two to six plus wisdom eight. Okay roll your damage three. Okay. So yeah, tuck sees a cannonball coming straight for him and in slow motion brings TLC up and swings at it just as it comes as it fires right for his chest. Oh fuck and the blade connects and starts to deflect the ball and you feel the vibrations of taking this cannon shot reverberate up the handle of the axe into your fucking bones shit and you take three damage fuck without your armor. Oh without my armor. Shit.

Can I try something? Yeah, absolutely with the roommate. I don't know how many cannonballs are coming at us. It's just like a barrage. So you're basically trying to just not get hit by even like one. Oh yeah, I want to try switcheroo. Yeah, that fucking rules. What are you trying to switch it with the spaghetti? Yeah, I still have some bags on my meatball. Okay. Yeah do it plus charisma. So eight plus two is ten a ten plus it works a hundred percent.

Okay, so you see Billy also in slow motion because you're all just hyper vigilant right now. You see a cannonball rocketing through the air towards you and you just go. Yeah, it's just a bag of spaghetti hits me in the face and a cannonball is on my bindle. So I fall over dragged to the ground covered in spaghetti beautiful. It looks like the cannonball went through your head somebody behind you like oh my God because it's spaghetti.

Explodes it looks like his head like his brains just I can't find my fine. I find he's my crow is just like Billy Ving. What do you do? I'm going to use lies a feather trying to like okay dodge around them totally ten ten. Okay and you just like leap up and jump off of a cannonball. I did know I'm off like there's like the rigging and like yeah, yeah just dicks and stuff just like landing on a knuckle and bouncing off and just doing whatever I can to get fucking red.

Yeah, totally dancing between the cannonballs. Yeah, yeah and you hit the deck. The barrage has passed now. Thankfully, there's some shattered parts of the ship for sure. There's some damage but not as much as there would have been if they hadn't been hurled along by the winds and you see the ship try and turn they really do and it just shears like one side of the boat off. Oh shit.

And they just start to sink and you're like yeah, I did it just as the winds pick up and start firing you towards the rocks as well. Oh fuck. Oh no, and that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master shot O'Hara joining me as always playing to Coma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz so long playing being the half-elf Druid Paul offers take care everyone and playing fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica tie by everybody.

Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music the delight that it is every time and thank you to our patreon supporters who support us. At patreon.com slash Spout Lore or at spell or dot com slash money, please and in return receive hours upon hours of bonus content including bonus games monthly streams art merchandise a whole whack of shit. And if you want to find more about that and our other pursuits, you can follow us online at Spout Lore most places will catch you next time.

I'm scared and lost baby for times of resting revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

For more of the gooey goodness that you love from Spout Lore, come on down to speltlore.com slash money please where we'll redirect you to the Patreon and then donate there for the more of the thing that you like. Did you say gooey? Yeah. That's not bad. That breath was worse than anything else you said actually. Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old.

You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts.

So gather round friends and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz. Hello everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid Paul Oppers. Hello there. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief Jessica Tai. Hi everyone.

When last we left our heroes, they had discovered a smuggling operation and been beset upon by young Bruno, a one member of such smuggling organization. Seemingly just kind of out of a need to belong than a dastardly scheming nature. Uh, they flipped Bruno into working for them. Took him to Maggie Cole and said, Hey, there's going to be a mutiny and Bruno knows what's up.

And, uh, also discovered the smuggling of, uh, a Griffin, a young half parrot, half monkey creature who has taken a shine to Billy. Yeah. As a French accent. As a French accent seems to say, you know, parrot stuff like fruits and nuts and hello. Um, Maggie tasked the gang with, uh, infiltrating and disrupting the gang. Which they did with extreme skill. Yeah. Uh, Ving setting up the boat to be overtaken by him in at a moment's notice with some clever engineering mutiny, the mutiny. Yeah. Got it.

You got to mutiny the mutiny. That's how you stop a mutiny. Uh, and then Billy and Tuck sewing descent amongst the, uh, the crew. Yeah. By giving them food because that seems to be the main thing is everyone's hungry on this boat. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Giving people food is a great way to get them on your side uh and then the mutiny itself went off with so many hitches there was a ton of hitches uh billy did a little too good of a job of sowing dissent making everyone on the boat think everyone else was part of the mutiny no matter what maybe even convincing some members of the mutineers that they were not uh and they were able to take control of the clear water just as the pirate stalker blue period pulled up alongside and released a cannon volley that the gang dealt with personally quite well billy lost some spaghetti lost a little loss well it did hit him in the face so he didn't lose a ton of it he might have got some of that back in his mouth ving called up the the spirits of wind to uh deal with the blue period sending it careening into one of the jagged granite cliffs of the devil's grin where it has begun to sink uh before losing control of the spirit of wind altogether and sending the clear water itself careening into the grin which is where we find our heroes now we're on the deck of the ship every there's fucking panic on the deck everybody's getting up there are people that are like knocked out there are people that are probably dead people have been thrown over the side anchors down the sails have come down but the wind is picking up to the point where it's just pushing you the bulk of the ship itself along you it hasn't hit the end of the chain yet but once it does uh ving you can tell this wind is pretty strong it might start dragging the boat so what do you do I ving runs and jumps off the boat he dives and then and then tuck turns because he's abandoning us everyone abandoned ship okay he dives off the off the boat along the length of the chain I'm gonna try and go down to where the anchor is and then he's like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die and then he runs up to the anchor and runs up to the anchor and runs up to the anchor and runs up to the anchor We just stopped moving because it's being dragged.

Oh. But you just seem like, I'm out. See you later, losers. Yeah. So, okay, man, what would this… Because it's probably pretty deep, right? So, are you just pounding water, trying to get down? I'm going to use elemental form. Pretty sick. Your new move. Bing jumps up in the air, and as he's up arcing, into a nice, beautiful swan dive, all the wood from all the cannon shot that's against the side of the boat, the wood jumps up in the air and gathers around him, and this beautiful wooden…

It looks like when people make animals on the beach out of driftwood, but it's a dolphin. And they just surround him, and then he dives in the water, and heads down the train. I really thought you were going to make a form out of water. Yeah, that's also what I thought. No, I'm going to make it hard. It's harder for me to get down there out of wood. So buoyant. Yeah. But can you explain what elemental form is?

Yeah, so elemental form is a new move that Bing took that allows him to transmute his body into a form made of the raw elements. So what we've talked about is how this move isn't Bing physically transmuting his own body. It's forming bodies around him. Like a mech of raw elements. A Gundam made out of spaghetti. Thank you. And I have to roll plus con, and I hold. Oh, I got five. So I miss. Con. Plus my con, seven. Don't just not add your stats. I don't remember games.

I got seven, so I get two hold. Two hold, okay. So I assume we're going to be using one of these hold to effortlessly swim to the bottom of the… Yeah, to traverse the depths. Cool. Yeah, you sail through your… You can look through the wooden eye holes of your new dolphin submersible. Yeah. As you sail down the length of chain, you see through the water in the distance, you see bodies sinking into the water from the blue period. Oh, shit. I don't want to let anyone die.

Can I go take them into my form, into my air form on the way down? I mean, you've only got two… Oh, no, they're in the distance. You'd have to swim to go get them. I'll continue down to the chain. I pause. Bing pauses. Yeah. And is brought to a… Dilemma. So you, yeah, you carry down following the chain to the sea floor. Mm-hmm. And you can see as the water, as the chain is being pulled by the boat, you can see the anchor kind of flipping around.

It hasn't hit anything that it's like caught onto yet, but it's trying. I'll spend my last hold to position the anchor so that the spiky ends grab into the bottom and onto a rock. Yeah. So when you spend this last hold, that form is going to fall away. Yeah. And you're going to be in Bing's body at the bottom of the, at the sea floor. Great. Okay. Yeah. That's all I can do. So you use your huge wooden dolphin nose to push the anchor into a rock formation where the edges catch.

And you hear the like clong under the water as the chain snaps taut. And the anchor is secure. Great. And all of the wood starts to fall away from you and float back up to the surface. I grab the biggest chunk and float up with it. Okay. Defy danger, Dexterity. And say to the drowning people, Follow me, citizens. Defy danger, Dexterity, to grab one in time. Okay. Nice. Nine. Okay. So you grab one and it starts carrying you. Can I aid? I can aid from any distance. Yes. I saw Bing go overboard.

So he's been watching the whole time. And then he sees like little bits of wood starting to come up. And bubbles? Yeah. Or no bubbles? No bubbles. What's worse, bubbles or no bubbles? I can't tell. I can't tell. So I'll use luck. I'll use luck of the fair folk to aid from any distance. Sweet. So Billy's just standing at the side of the boat going like, Come on, come on, come on. Yeah. But he also throws a rope over. Okay. So 2d6 plus bond. Six plus one, seven. Okay. That makes it a 10.

And you grab onto a piece of wood and it starts pulling you up to the surface. And you're like, oh, no, I don't know if I'm going to make it in time. And then you see the tip of a rope. It's like a plop into the water and start sinking down. Yeah. Weird. And it's kind of like coming at an angle because of Billy's power. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Weird. I just reach up and it finds my hand. Right in your hand. Yeah. And you get yanked back up to the surface. You break the water. Oh, yeah. Up onto the boat.

Cool. And you see looming above you the clear water and you see the damage from the cannon barrage for the first time. And there are some chunks missing. Oh, and Billy's face is covered in blood, I think. Billy, no. What is wrong? Are you okay? I'm fine. I start to meet falling off of Billy's face. I'm pouring a bottle of wine. Yeah. So the wind is whipping like it's it's starting to pick up pretty bad. The waves are getting big. The boat's getting tossed around.

It's like being pulled against the anchor. Yeah. It like swings broadside, basically. What is the devil's grin look like? Yeah. It's a looming like wall of jagged stone peaks. The widest is probably. You know, like 40 feet wide. And they're like in a toll like this freestanding. Yeah. They poke up out of the water on their own. Is there like fog in there or is it like. No, it's you can see all the way through. You're still kind of in McCollum waters. So it's a pretty clear.

Well, it was a clear day until spirits of wind started whipping up. Are like clouds starting to form and stuff. Okay. Stars. Skies start to turn gray. And, you know, Perel runs up to you. Maggie's on deck. She runs over. Yeah. Yeah. She just strides up the stairs from below decks and sees two people fighting and just grabs them both by the scruff of the neck and picks them up. And Maggie runs over and goes, what's going on? We did the mutiny on the mutiny. Yeah.

We tried to stop a mutiny by starting the mutiny. I remember the plan. I remember the plan. What do we do? What's going on right now? Oh, so we're anchored right now. I've anchored the ship, but we're still in a lot of trouble because of this wind. It's out of control. My fault. Sorry. Okay. I think. Best ways probably just to ride it out. She looks at Ving and says, can you stop this wind? And he's picking his nose. He's blowing out like snot from the bottom of the ocean. What? The wind.

Can you do anything about the wind? I don't know what I mean. I've never been able to stop it before because I lose control, right? You have a move specifically about stopping. I know. Eye of the storm. I just didn't want to do two moves in a row for some reason. Oh, that's fine. Yeah. The other things that are going on is the remaining people are trying to figure out who is loyal on the ship. Oh, yeah. Benedict is still in the wind. Right. Yeah. Tuck looks around for eggs. Benedict.

You don't see him on deck. I look around for peanuts. You do see peanuts. Is she okay? She's fighting Ted right now. I'm so conflicted about who I want to win this. I feel like I have no skin in this game. And I'm just like, who cares? They'll work that out. I think Ted's going to win. Billy. Billy. Billy. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? He's missing teeth and he has one leg. Yeah. And he's still fighting. That says a lot.

And I look over and it's like beautiful the way he's moving. He's twirling around on that one leg like a top. What a man. And somebody tries to punch him in the teeth, but he doesn't have any. So they miss. Ha ha. You fell into my trap. So wait, Billy, have you seen eggs? I saw him like five minutes ago. Where was he going? He's going downstairs. He's going downstairs. Okay. Yeah. Let's go try and track him down. All right. Okay.

While you guys are going downstairs, can I do my quickly just try and see if I can do eye of the storm? Yeah, totally. Because it'll kind of set the stage for if Billy and Tuck are running below deck in a ship that's being tossed about on the sea. Yeah. So I'm going to exert my will in a circle around me on a hit. The world calm. Seven to nine. Events. Only what I touch as long as I'm touching it. Mm-hmm. Eye of the storm. That's plus con. So I got eight. Okay. Okay.

So it's only what you touch as long as you're touching it. Okay. Ving puts his hands on the boat. Oh, nice. Cool. Fucking rad. Yeah. You exert that influence through the wood of the ship asking the wind and the sea to calm, to protect you, to keep the people on this boat safe and alive. And our chain strong. Yeah. It extends through the links of the chain down into the stone of the earth itself. Ooh. And the deck stops bucking beneath your feet and the wind stopped whipping.

And Billy and Tuck, you're running down to the stairs and you're like, you know, getting jostled around and then you hit the actual staircase and everything stops. We look back at Ving. What does he look like? He's like Spider-Man. He does not look cool. He's like crouched on a box. And he's like, he goes to give him like two thumbs up. And then. The wind puts him back down. Got to touch. Great. So, yeah, you guys head down. Yeah.

And I grabbed the first person I see and I go, where's X Benedict? Who? Where is he? Who are you talking about? X Benedict, the cockswain or whatever. What was he? Coxen. Was he cockswain? No, bosun. Boswain. Bosun cockswain. And this guy's like, what are you talking about? And he's got blood running down his face. Oh, God, you're too fucking injured. And I toss him. I grab another person. Now I'm more injured. What? Tell me where X Benedict is. I don't know what you're talking about.

And then I pick up Billy like a gun. God. Point him at his face. And I say, where's X? I know he's down here. So hard. The idea of you just grabbing. The back of all of his clothes and holding him in front of you. He's the most dangerous thing I have. It's true. He's got. I don't know what you're. I don't know anybody. Oh, yeah. Hold on. Hold on. I know this person is lying to us. So I am going to do a move. Defy danger charisma. Yeah. To just threaten them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. By the gun move. I got really close to his face and also all the sauce on my face looks so intense. Yes, it does. I look like I mean business. You look like Freddy Krueger right now. He flinches away from Billy. He goes, he's trying to get a boat. He's trying to escape. Where? He is above. He's in disguise. What does he look like? He's wearing a cloak with a hood.

Which side of the boat is he on? I don't know. I'm downstairs. And I'm like, fine, dick. Let me go. Okay, fine. I will. Okay. Okay. All right, let's go up. Let's go up. And I kick this guy in the balls and run away. And you get up on the deck and yeah, there's still people tussling and you're looking for a guy in a cloak. Yeah. Should we discern realities? Yeah. Discern realities. This is great. Okay. Here we go. I'd say it's the guy by the boats in a cloak. There he is. The cloak guy. Nice.

Ten. Ten. Okay. So you get three questions from discern realities. What here is useful or valuable to me? You see by the boats, a guy in a cloak. But he's like, the boats are like lashed to the actual deck. So there is, somebody is trying to untie the boats and get other people to untie. So you have to get the boat with them and push it towards the side of the boat. Wait, here is not what it appears to be. The cloak is actually a row with a separate hood. Yeah. Okay.

So you're looking at this cloaked figure moving around and you're like that. There's no way that's eggs. Just not the right size. And yeah, so this seems to be something else. Okay. Then what is about to happen? They are going to send that boat over the side and eggs, is going to use that distraction to truly escape. Fuck. But Billy here, from where Tuck is swinging you around like a lantern. Yeah. I'm just using Billy as the inanimate objects now. I got you, Bill.

You see near the front of the ship through the rigging that's starting to come down as the strain of the wind that is no longer blowing is starting to take effect. You see a figure hunched, gray hair, hat gone. Jacket off. Getting ready to dive over the side. Eggs, throw me. And then I throw Billy. Okay. Defy danger. Dexterity, I guess. Yeah, because you're trying to get him to a specific spot. Yeah, so I wheel up and I'm like, Billy. Aim strong and true. And I'm like, I will. I love you.

I love you. This whole sequence is taking so long. Vings on the deck. I love you both. All right, Billy. Fastball special. And I whip him. Eight. Okay, I think that Billy, Tuck throws you really hard. Yeah. So hard that you're like, I'm going to hit eggs and it's going to carry me over the side with eggs. Okay. Or you can grab onto a line as you're passing by and not get thrown into the ocean, but eggs might get away. I'm going to hit eggs. I'm going to go.

I'm going to go into the ocean with him. Okay. I will face my biggest fear. You're afraid of the ocean? Yeah. I didn't know that. And then also, like as soon as Tuck throws Billy, you know that thing when you're playing with a kid and then you like accidentally hit him too hard? Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Bad babysitter move. Yeah, totally. And then Tuck throws him and then he sees like the arc trajectory. He's like, fuck. Oh, no. Did you just line drive our child? That's my kid.

And Billy threw you over the edge. Oh, no. Oh, no. Or who can say where the wind blows vision that you're taking part in right now? Yes. You see eggs throwing one leg over the side and turning to like lower himself down and he makes eye contact. His head cocks his side and he looks confused. Yeah. He sees you arms and legs splayed. And I land on him like a flying squirrel like wrap my limbs around his face.

I imagine eggs was about to do like, you know, like the shitty, like, like salute goodbye. Yeah. And then it's just like, you wrap around his head and he tips backwards over the boat and you hear the wind whistling in your ears as you slam into the ocean. Hell yeah. Ving, you just saw Tuck line drive Billy into a human being over the side of the boat. Yeah. And then you see Tuck look around to see if anyone saw him do it.

Ving just takes two fingers off the deck and points at his eyes and points at Tuck's eyes and then runs and jumps off. Okay. So the second you take your hands off the boat, the deck starts to pitch underneath you. Everybody claps their hands over their ears because while you've been calming the storm around the boat, the winds have been picking up even more. The sky has grown darker. The winds have gotten stronger. And now it's like a deafening squall. I'd like to use fight with honor.

Yeah, sure. Nice. So I got nine. So I got two Chi. Two. And who were you fighting in this regard? I just want to cross a distance between myself and a foe, which is eggs, bypassing all obstacles. Okay. So you're fighting eggs. Like I just want to, because like otherwise it's kind of triggering the move just to get the points as opposed to like being in a narratively appropriate situation. I was just going to drown him.

I actually just wanted to make sure he didn't have anything important and then I was going to kill him. Oh my God. This is the mood. I think maybe that's why one of us would follow you to make sure you didn't, mercilessly kill somebody. He just like caused the death of so many. That's true. Yeah. That is true. This is a thought experiment. Wow. Yeah. As you were flying towards him, Billy's face went from like baseball face to like evil little Bilbo face. Yeah. So that you've got your hold.

You're like, I'm going to come get you and you dive off the side of the boat. I just sprint. And I like the, I like the image of, every step he's, he's running faster and faster and every step like in between his feet being on the thing is like, woof, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. That's so cool. That's sick.

And then as he jumps, the wind's like, jumps overboard and dives and tries to grab a rope, brings a rope with him and swings down the side of the boat to try and grab Billy, be like Billy and just offer in hand. Cool. So yeah, this will be defied danger dexterity. Dexterity. The rope swing thing. Nice. Seven. Cool. The boat is starting to like, yank against the chain and you're not sure how much longer that'll, that'll hold out.

Actually tuck on the deck as you see Vink go over the side with this rope, you see the like, mechanism that holds the, the anchor in the chain start to like crack, crack, crack. Oh yeah, that giant pinwheel or whatever. Yeah. Oh fuck. And Billy, you're underwater. Eggs is like grabbing at you like you're a, a squirrel that is on his face. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's trying to get you off of his face, trying to get you off of his head. What are you doing?

So I want to use lightning in a bottle to figure out what his plan is. Lightning in a bottle. You can make the immaterial material and use it as you will. You can capture a memory, specifically I said a memory and show it to someone else. Use sunlight to brighten a cavern or bring a bottle of joy to one in need as examples. You roll plus dexterity. And on a 10 plus, you capture a small amount and may hold it indefinitely.

On a seven to nine, you still capture it, but you have to use it as soon as possible or it will dissipate. Yeah. So I think here's kind of the stakes. If you're going to get this memory out of him, he's probably going to die. Whoa, what? That's fine. Oh, whoa. Oh my God. I'm willing to make the sacrifice because I, because he also, he did all this. I guess. Yeah. He literally like, he was a mutineer. He literally would have killed you without a second thought. Yeah. Fair, fair.

This is a fair kill, everybody. We all agree. This is a fair kill. You can't make me agree to that. All right. 2d6 plus dexterity. 10. So I succeed. Shit. Oh my God. So you capture a small amount of Eggs Benedict's memory and may hold it indefinitely. Okay. So what does this memory look like as you pull it out? You know what? Okay. So I've like, cause I'm still wrapped around his head and I'm just like holding him under the ocean and my hands over his, his, his mouth.

And, uh, as like his memory comes out, I'm pulling out what is kind of like this like seaweed out of his mouth. And I'm wrapping it around my hand. Fucking cool. So gross and cool. And you feel eggs like struggling against you as you're yanking this weed out of his mouth and it comes loose and you got this bundle of memories in your hand and he goes limp. Shit. Yeah. I feel bad, but I knew he would have done, the same. Yeah. And you, you, do you just like kick back up to the surface? Yeah. Yeah.

And you see Ving a few like meters away with his hand out like Billy. Yeah. Oh, hi. Grab me. We're even motherfucker. I get you. And, uh, and Ving. Good thing you float. Yeah. He comes up like, boom, like a propane tank from the bottom of the ocean. And, uh, and Ving hauls Billy back up onto the deck of the boat. And, uh, it's the same thing. Like as your hand is like touching the boat and coming off as you're climbing back up, it's like bucking as the waves calm and fight.

And it looks like things, at least on this ship have started to calm down a little bit. Like people that were fighting are done. Some people have jumped overboard and are trying to swim away, but, uh, things have are getting under control. Maggie and her loyalists have calmed things significantly. Sweet. And you still hear the like, crap, crap, boom. As the blue period sinks. Oh shit. And the devil's grin.

And on the blue period, you see some people did get into boats, but they're not trying to come aboard there. They're like rowing their escape boats basically further into the devil's grin to get away from you. Wow. Um, and Maggie and Caroline have gathered up, let's say four mutineers that stuck around and weren't like killed or escaped. Which one? There is a kind of chunky, like in his fifties. There's like a dwarf kid who's probably like in the equivalent of his late teens.

There's a pretty athletic looking, uh, human woman probably in her twenties. And, uh, there's an org. Okay. Yeah. Is peanuts still on peanuts? Uh, yeah. Peanuts is still alive, but peanuts is, I guess like changed mind when things got bad and is just like, this is not, this was not worth it. Okay. So I think that Maggie would still tie her up. Yeah, definitely. Changing your mind.

Peanuts was, there was a while where she was like, look, I, Hey, I changed my mind, but I don't want a part of this anymore. Where she was, she was standing next to Maggie being like, yeah, you all get it. Get all these people who are, who are mutineers. These fucks. Hey, you're one of us. No, no, no. I changed my mind. And she's been extra tied up. She's like wrapped like head to toe. Yeah. Uh, and they have been dealt with.

And Maggie is now just talking about like repairs, like repairs are going to have to be done. And she's trying to figure out sort of the next, uh, port of call. How are you planning on escaping? What was your plan? Mutineers? We were, we were just told this is, uh, the dwarf kid. Who's got a way deeper voice than you thought he would. We were just told we'd get paid. That's it. I took us to peanuts and he's like, Hey peanuts, you were one of the higher ups. What do you know?

What I, all I know is that eggs approached us and said, Hey, you want to go to the ship? You want to make some fucking money? And I said, yeah. And, uh, they said that they were going to take the ship. We were going to kill the, kill the crew that needed killing, get rid of the, and she kind of nods towards Maggie and Caroline. And you know, ship be ours. Yeah. That all tracks. Another mystery solved by the boy adventure. A duck like dusts off his hands, right?

Opens a journal called pirates be pirates. The end. So, so sometime later, uh, people are just cleaning up. Basically the storm is starting to abate. You've got probably a couple more hours before things are safe to sail. People are trying to figure out what the fuck Ving did to the boat and are like resetting sales and shit. He's got his hands up. No, no, no, on the stern bow side, starboard under, under, under keel, under the keel. Ving doesn't know any of the boat terms.

So he's just using them. Random. It was all of the boat terms, but not what they apply. And you guys are in, in Maggie's captain's quarters. Uh, and she's just like kicking back in her chair, like, whew. So that was something else. Thanks for, uh, thanks for heading all that up. I appreciate you all doing what you could to kind of keep things under control. I specifically lost control. Yeah. But then you got controlled again and it was, you know, more than I could have done. Certainly.

So, uh, so what'd you learn? Um, well, I got, I got this memory from, uh, eggs. Uh, I take out the seaweed that I've been holding in my hand. And we've never seen this before. Wait, what do you mean? Sorry. You, you have what memory? Yeah. I was able to pull a memory out of him before he died. I just wanted to know what he was up to. And Perel walks up to Billy and like kneels down and is like, wow. Wow. And he holds his hands out. Can I? Yeah.

And he takes it into his hand and he like rubs it between his fingers and smells it and like puts his tongue out and licks it a little bit. That came out of his mouth. Spits onto the ground. What do I do with it? You read it here. I'll show you. Uh, and the seaweed is like, kind of like Braille in a way. Oh, cool. Like you follow the ridges of the seaweed and like, I don't know, like it just makes sense to Billy. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Sick. Like the root, like his rune. Yeah, that's cool. Right.

The fairy language that like communicates full ideas. Cool. So is it fairy language? Yeah, actually it is. That's wicked. That's so sick. Uh, so Billy, you, what you learn is, um, very simply eggs, was contacted by, uh, you know, some organized crime. You see somebody that looks a whole lot like Fabio, the centaur. Oh, Fabio. I keep reading. Yeah. You like in your mind's eye, you see him like, like pointing at a box and pointing at eggs and going like, put it on the boat and eggs going, I will.

And, and like, basically they were going to take the box with the, uh, Griffin and the box with the foragers gold to a town further up the coast. And they were going to sell it. But, um, Fabio also arranged for some pirates to take control of the boat, which they were then going to sell as well. Wow. Okay. So it started pretty low stakes, but then it got pretty high stakes.

It looks like they were going to take the fake gold and the Griffin up to the nearest town to sell, but they were also going to take over the clear water to sell that as well. So it's probably good that he's not with us anymore. Right guys. I did the right thing, right? Yeah. Billy, it was a life or death situation. You guys were like fighting underwater. Yeah. The water killed him, Billy, not you, right? Yeah. It wasn't like you had the choice to let him not drown or whatever. Yeah.

Caroline, Caroline, like kicks, you kind of nudges you with the toe of her boot from behind where she's standing. They would have killed you. Yeah, probably. No, you can't like I've, I've dealt with pirates before there, you know, there are some pirates that are like freedom and Liberty pirates. And then there are pirates that are like killing, killing plunder pirates. And those were killing plunder pirates. Okay. I had to let some die to Billy. I'm sorry. Uh, and Billy actually.

So when you're thinking about like where they were going to sell the boat, um, you actually see in your mind's eye a place and it's not, it doesn't feel like it's that close. Um, so it probably, it wasn't like a nearest town up the coast thing. It's like a snowy, icy collection of small islands that are covered in wooden buildings that seem to be built out of like the halls of ships and other pieces of wreckage. Oh, cool. And it looks like eggs, eggs is feelings about this place.

He fucking loves it. Is that like a pirate port? Like a Tortuga? Billy could probably spell Laura or he could, if somebody else could, if Billy wants to talk about it. Yeah. So I tell you guys what I see about this town. Does anyone want to spell Laura? Maybe Ving? Can you, do you know anything? Yeah. Well, I'd like to use a sounding board as well. Uh, I re I just took the, the move fount of knowledge. So if I spell Laura about something nobody knows about, I take a plus one forward. Oh, sick.

Yeah. And then if, if Ving helps me, he can use the sounding board move and I can take a plus two, three. Yeah. Three. Cause it's, that's a plus two. So I get a plus three on this. So does anybody know about the snowy town? Snowy town? Anybody? No, nobody does. Anybody, you guys? Nope. Never heard of it. Do you know, have you heard of a snowy pirate town? Uh, I have. No, she, she shrugs. All right. It's about Laura, but snowy. Oh, pirate town. That's a five. It counts to seven. Wow.

Minus one is six plus three is nine. And wait, hold on. Hold on. What? Can you do that math for me again? Yeah. Okay. Here is the math. Five plus two is seven. Plus the one from now. Nobody knowing is, is eight plus the two from being is 10 minus one. Cause I'm extra dumb. And that gives us nine. Now, Billy, I'm going to need an aid. I aid. Wait, stop for a second. Stop. No, no, no, no. Just keep saying numbers at him. He won't be able to defend himself. My brain's filling up with oatmeal.

The plus two thing has to aid for you to get that. That's an aid. Jesus Christ. I was like doing beads. I should have known that. I was like, wait, there's no way I allowed this. So yeah, Vang has to aid first for you to get that plus two. I aid. Okay. So it's a seven, nine, something interesting, but not useful. This is the most important thing. This is the most important thing. It's a long time to get there. It's the most complicated math we've ever done. God, I'm tired.

I have a master's degree in math. It was the most complicated math I've ever done. Fuck you. Has he modest transform? Shrun your equations. You can eat my shit. Yes. Suck yourself off. Optimus prime. Okay. So yeah, tuck. You have, you recall, um, there was a band that you met one day. It was a band that you met one time in your youth that were on tour. Bones of winter. Bones of winter. Cool. Good job. Yeah, that was great. Uh, and they were, um, yeah, real rough.

And they claim to be, uh, like resurrected by a necromancer. That was their thing. I don't know what they actually were, but I touched one of them and they were pretty cold. We were outside, but they were pretty cool. So we just like blew you off. He's pretty cool. He's a cold guy. Um, and they, I mentioned that they were from a place, uh, that was like a small collection of like stony islands out in the middle of the cold Arctic sea.

Uh, I don't have, I know what the play, like I have an idea of the place, but I haven't settled on a name. I was, yeah, I was thinking like the horror frost islands. Ooh, we love saying that those two words. Yeah, that was my fear is that I like the word horror, but I don't want you guys to fucking a dinks about it. No. Yeah. It'd be hard. Like what you suggested. Why not? Four frost, four frost islands. That's pretty good.

Cause they were the first islands that would get the frost in the winter. And they're the first, they're the first furthest South in the North. Yeah. So they're not in kind of either kingdom's domain. They're right on the border, which is why it's kind of like a, like no rules, lawless zone. Yeah. And it's, it's just outside that like wall of fog.

Like, so they don't have to worry about, um, like, like, like, like, like, like, I like that weird marauding things in the fog, but do they trade with the people that are past the fog? Maybe. Yeah. They do. Oh, so fucking cool. The town is made from the wrecks of people from the fog. Yeah. That makes so much sense. So it's all long ships, like with like weirdly strong wood. No, like it's the ships that they attack. Oh, man.

It's like a huge collection of different kinds of, but then also like the ships that would float up. Yeah. Like, wash up on shore. So there's scavengers too. Huh? Yeah. Yeah. And it is kind of a, like their markets probably fucking crazy. The shit that you can get there. Oh yeah. So they're called the four frost islands. Maggie, we gotta go to these islands. They're the fucking coolest things I've ever heard of. And I never got a chance to go.

And if we don't, I'm going to be so fucking mad at you. Well, it probably shouldn't be stop. One, considering it's like a pirate pirate Haven, right? But also this ship can't be sailed as is. We're going to need parts and they have parts in spades. We need to go there to get the ship working again. And you've always talked about how the best way to face your problems is head on. You said that like the last four episodes in a row. And today our problems are pirates. Yeah. All right. Okay.

Four frost islands. It is. Spear made. And then he tries to tackle Tuck. No, no. That's what's happening during the fade out. Tuck is punching Bruno. Okay, so then we do a quick, we do a montage of people making temporary repairs on the Clearwater, getting the sail in a good spot so it can like move. It's not going to be fun. It's not going to be fast, but the ship's not going to sink.

Tuck grabs that like pinwheel thing for the anchor and he like pulls it down really hard to like get it back in position. So they can pull the anchor back up. Yeah. Yeah, the thing's broken. Like it doesn't wind the anchor up. So Tuck's just over the side, like hauling it up hand over hand. Nice. Yeah. And he pulls it all the way up and Ving's been sitting on the bottom the whole time.

And Perel looks over the side of the boat at the wreck of the Blue Period and goes, should we plunder any of that? I mean, there might have stuff. Yeah. Let's do it before we leave. I think that's my vote. What do you think? Sure. I mean, I'm down for whatever. Billy loves a good plunder. Yeah. This can also be part of the montage too. You know what I mean? We don't have to do a whole roll. We don't have to do a treasure roll. Treasure roll. Treasure roll. Treasure roll. They're pirates.

Let me see if I can find like a ship loot. Oh man, I hope we get another fanny pack. That was where we got it from the last time. It was that treasure worm. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh my God. What if it fucking, the fanny pack, what if it blew up on shore on the Four Frost Islands and then we find it? It might. Or maybe these pirates have it. Sean, my life is horrible. Let me have it. Okay. How about I, how would I suggest something?

Jessica, you have to roll a D20 and if you get 19 or above, we get the fanny pack back. No. Yes. Six. We did it. We did it. Should I roll again? Yeah. Three. Three. It's not, it's going down. Don't look. No, no, no. We're adding them up. Nine, 12. 11. That's it. Hold on. Can I just, can I stop you for a second? I did it. Where was it? 19. Okay. Okay. Can I stop you for a second? You can try. You guys are going to a crazy pirate market. Who knows what's going to be there? Yeah.

Let's leave some mystery. Totally. And let us plunder the blue period to get fun stuff to trade. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. Yeah. Okay, cool. All right. So each of you roll a D20. Oh my God. There's your D20. D20. We get to roll our D20s finally. Each of our own. Yeah. 17. Eight. I got eight too. So I want the eight there. Okay. Well. It's just one of you roll again. What is it? 17 is a weapon. Oh, cool. Mm-hmm. It's a saber, like an actual like fencing saber. Oh, sick. It's long.

It's pretty well made. Nothing fancy, but it looks like it's, of solid quality. Oh my God. Shing. I put it on my robe. I feel like one of the musketeers. What are the musketeers? They're muskrat tears. There's these, this is like a little rug rats who are actual rats that Ving used to know back who lived by the docks in his hometown. And he called them the three musketeers. Beautiful. Muskrat tears. So what was the eight? Eight is an old book. Oh. Okay. Do you want that or should I take it?

I can take it. I'll take that book. Yeah. It's a love and lust. I like that. There are other books in the world. Okay. It's a golf digest. I'm begging you to make it a different book. I was thinking of like something like thick and cool, but whatever. Love and lust is great too. What about a book of like old shanties? Oh, I love that. Yeah, I'll take that. Okay. Steady it. Oh man. He could bring that to the rock world. Yeah. Start incorporating old shanties. Shanties into heavy metal.

Piece of shit. Jessica's rolled so many times. It's literally, it kept going to 17, which was Paul's. That's my weapon. 19. Broken, broken compass. Oh, cool. Broken compass. Nice. Yeah. And this is like, they've been pulling up like chests and crates of stuff. And this is, they've been going through and grabbing like, oh, here's some food. Here's some building materials that we used to shore up the boat.

But then you guys each pull out like, oh, here's a book like, oh, cool old sea shanties or like, oh, here's a weird sword. And Billy's got a compass and opens the compass and goes, it's not pointing to anything. Billy's holding it up to the sun. Yeah. Like looking through it, like it won't work. This is point two. Maybe we just haven't found what it points to yet. And you hear Caroline lean into Maggie and go, it's probably just broke. These fucking assholes never seen a broken compass before.

Sometimes things don't work and then you have to fix them. Even a broken compass is right twice times a day. That's not true. That's never been true. And Ving fixes this. Ever since he got those glasses, he's been real smug. And stupider. So then we are going to undertake a perilous journey because now there are far fewer crew members than there were when you started. You guys are actually needed to help with this stuff. Damn it.

So we're going to, one of you is going to scout ahead and one of you is going to navigate. So who's going to scout ahead? I can. You should. You got better eyes. I've got the, the binoculars and I join Crow up in the mast again. Yeah. And Crow is pretty sad. Oh. I just can't believe that all those people I sailed with betrayed me. Do you want to talk about it? I do. Thank you.

I just, you know, I've been feeling really unsure about my place on the ship and I thought that if nothing else, I had, you know, a family. Oh. And it turns out that you can't trust everybody and you can't trust you, Billy. You can trust me. Can I trust you? Yeah. Are you lying to me? No. I, look, I even brought you some beef jerky. And he snatches it out of your hand and shoves it in his mouth. Thank you, Billy. Um, I'm sorry about your family. It's really hard when you can't trust people.

He throws the back of his hand up on his forehead and he goes, Oh, it's okay. Nobody worry about little old Crow. I worry about Crow. Really? Yes. Why do you think I wanted to come back up here? It's not because I like climbing. Look at me. The ropes barely hold my weight and I don't have any upper body strength, but I wanted to come up here to hang out with you and to see how you're doing. Could you tell me that I'm smart? Crow, you're, you're smart.

You know so much about so many things, like the direction of the sky and what different clouds are like, you know, uh, where the, the sun is and the moons are and the coronet, you know, what the, what, what to look for in the waves. You're really good at counting. You have read so many books and you have a great sense of style. I knew it. Thank you for confirming my own biases, Billy. You're welcome. I don't really want to scout ahead right now. Could you? Yes. All right.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna sleep. Here, here, take my, take my blanket. Wow, that was quick. Whoa, holy shit. It's a comfortable blanket. Wee, wee, wee, wee, wee. Uh, yeah, okay, so for navigate, or for scout ahead, uh, Billy, you're gonna roll plus wisdom. Okay. Two D six. Mm-hmm. Okay. Nine. Nine. Okay, so on a nine, you choose one from this list. You get the drop on whatever lies ahead. You discern a beneficial aspect of the trajectory, such as a shortcut, shelter, or tactical advantage.

You make a capital D discovery, which is like cool stuff that you find, uh, or you notice a sign of a nearby capital D danger. What was the second one? You discern a benefit, beneficial aspect of the terrain. Yeah, I want that one. Okay. Uh, then I will factor that in in a moment after somebody decides to navigate. I'll navigate. I'm the boatman. Okay. So navigate is plus intelligence. Great. Six. Oh, fuck. Can I aid him? Yeah, you can try and aid. How is tuck aiding?

Um, I get, I, I, I don't know. How do you navigate on a ship? Well, I'm like doing the thing of making sure that everything like the rudder is working, right? I'm doing more technical boat stuff. Uh, and a lot of navigating is like looking at charts and like measuring where the sun is, the horizon landscape stuff. Okay. Yeah. Maybe like, uh, sorting through the wreckage of the clear water. Tuck finds like a box of like charts and stuff.

And he's like, don't know what the fuck this is, but I think they could probably use it. 11. So that makes it a seven to nine GM chooses one from the list. Oh, I choose one from the list below. Uh, so the choices are, you happen upon a discovery missed by the scout. The going is slow. You wander off the course. The GM says, which, uh, or you encounter a danger, whether or not you're surprised depends on whether the scout has the drop on it. Uh, okay.

So we know that Billy's found, uh, a way to get to the four frost islands faster. We know that Bing is going to miss something and let's figure out the food situation before we decide what that is. Yeah. And I think they put tuck on it because they lost a lot of the, those barrels of spaghetti overboard during the battle. And tuck now has to like physically defend the food stores. Oh, this is like, he's like King Kong. I mean, donkey Kong. So there's a lot of people.

It's like, it's weird how okay everyone is with people just attacking me on a regular basis. They're going to put everything they got into it and just bounce off of Maggie's kind of just letting them like work out their energy against me. It's good training. It's good for them. It's good for him. Everybody's had an exciting few days. It's good to just work off some steam. Tuck has popped a bottle of sabotage. Caroline walks up, smashes it on the deck. No more. Pick a different bottle.

Maybe Ted's on duty, like making pancakes. Cause there's a ton of flour. Oh yeah. So you're also like protecting Ted, like leave Ted alone. Oh, and there's an important job. And I'm also kind of protecting myself from Ted cause he fucking flies off the hand, but he's the only person that knows how to make pancakes somehow. It's four ingredients. There's only like half a cup of syrup left and tuck wears it in a vial around his neck. Yeah. Peanuts is like, I'm coming for that syrup.

And I'm like, come at me, bitch. I'm fucking daring. Where are you? You think you're sweet enough for this? Um, so yeah, basically this is going to determine how much of, uh, Maggie's financial weight is going to go towards repairing the ship, buying food or repairing the ship and buying food, whether or not you're going to have to work for some cash when you get to the four frost islands. Okay. So roll it. Two D six plus wisdom. 1111. Okay. This makes all food. Put it all into food.

That's awesome. What happens? I get to decide off food. You choose one from the list below. Careful management reduces the amount of rations consumed or the party consumes the expected amount of food and you prepare it in an X and the food you prepare is excellent. Describe it. And everyone who licks their lips takes plus one for her. Hell yeah. I forgot about this move. Okay. Yeah. Let's do that second one. Cause it's funny. Okay.

So this means that you're probably going to have to work for some cash when you get to the four frost islands. Or work out some kind of trade work for food kind of thing. So describe how the food is being prepared. I mean, I mean, I guess it's like it's Ted, it's Ted who's preparing. Okay. And he's making grand slams. He's like, it's like a, it's a stack of pancakes for every person. There's whipped cream on top. He got fresh berries from somewhere. Wow.

Uh, and, oh, there's like sausages on the side, thick ones, like bigger than you think you need. Uh, each one has like a heaping helping of hash next to it. Um, what else is breakfast? Orange juice. There's a, there's a coffee. Yeah. There's fresh pressed coffee. Like that other ship had a lot of shit on it that they must've pilfered from like a Gordon Ramsey or Wolf gang puck type vessel. Is that what I was supposed to do? Yeah. Describe how the food is. Describe it. Describe it.

And everyone that licks their lips, that's everybody takes plus one forward. Hell yeah. Stop enough. Um, okay, cool. So yeah, everybody has a wild time eating like gourmet food from Ted, who is just an incredible chef. So one thing people are not hurting for is delicious food, but you come upon something on, let's say day seven, of your trip to the four frost islands. What is it? The toilet's clogged. And it's weird cause it's a, it's a privy tube.

So it means that solid matter has clogged up the tube. It's such a way. Um, yeah, it can either be something dangerous or something interesting. What's is it dangerous that it's clogging the toilet? All our shit is sinking the ship. I mean, it definitely doesn't have to be like a game changing discovery. It could be that the toilets are, the toilets are clogged and nobody can poo. And we've been eating too much. That's why they're clogged. Yeah. Don't, don't you see?

We're eating grand slams at every meal. Maybe it is that people start getting sick. Oh yeah. Which is actually clogging the toilets. Yeah. Oh, a mystery illness. Yeah. Maybe it's that people start getting like weirdly sick. Oh, okay. So yeah, on day seven, you hear peanuts from the brig. They get taken, they get brought out and go like, don't fucking try anything and you can eat food and you can hang out.

But at night we're putting you back in the brick and everybody's asleep below decks hanging in their hammocks. There's a ton of space now for everybody. It's so nice. But you hear peanuts going like, Oh, Oh, keep it down over there. Oh, my, my Tom, bud, I feel fucking weird. Uh, Chuck goes over to her cause he did make that deal where he was supposed to keep her safe or whatever. It's like peanuts. What are you? Are you okay? No, my, I feel so bad, man. It sounds like you're faking it.

It really does, but I'm not. I promise. What is it? Where is it? Her? What's, can you describe the quality of pain you're in inside and a lot here? And he, uh, Ving says, I know this is unorthodox, but it'll help. And he, he, um, it gives her some pipe halfling pipe weed. Come inside and give it to me. Absolutely not. That's literally everything you're doing is making it seem like you're trying to escape from the brig. I think I, I promise that I'm not. Why are you doing it like that?

Peanut promises. And starts, I don't unlock this door. Okay. Unlock the door and I'll stand guard. And peanuts is lying on her side in the brig wrapped up in ropes. Okay. I told you I'm not trying to escape. See? Okay. Now I see it. I can hear it now. Someone else is trying to escape. Wait, is someone else escaping? Discern reality. Six plus wisdom. Six. Oh, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll aid. Cause I'm, I'm coming down. Yeah. I came down from the mass. Cause, uh, crow's taking over night watch.

And I'm like, what is that sound? You thought it was wicker. Wow. Uh, yeah. So Billy, you see peanuts lying on her side in the brig. Ving and Tucker just look kind of like looking. Everybody's starting to wake up. Vings got a pipe light. It like lit up to her, but just inhale it. Eight. Cool. Okay. That makes minus seven. So you got one question. Uh, what is about to happen? I can, can I, can I, a GM reveal something? I have no idea. You know what? I'm actually literally thinking it is.

I'm thinking whatever this mysterious illnesses, it makes them sound and seem super untrustworthy, even though nothing is wrong. Do you guys have a better, more interesting idea for what this illness might manifest as? What if the illness is like, you start seeing things that aren't there. Oh, maybe one of the crates that got pulled up that Ted mixed into the food was ghost fruit. Oh my God. So everybody on the ship's been eating ghost root for like five days.

So what we're seeing is like elements of the spirit realm. Actually, that's hallucinations. So it makes so much sense. And then like the sweats and stuff like that. And the tummy aches. Cause remember when tuck ate it, your tummy felt bad. Totally. Yeah. Oh, that's so good. I felt like shit. Okay. Yeah. So, uh, so he's been grading it. The sauce. Yeah. Like into the hash. Like he's truffle. He's like taking slices of it. Such a great umami taste. It does taste pretty good. To be fair.

It's delicious umami. Uh, yeah. So that's the peanuts is like, ah, ah, oh, my tummy hurts, but there's a big snake in here. Ving does give her that halfling pipeweed. And she does. She takes a big inhale, holds it for a long time, blows it hard out her nose. She calms down. She goes, Ving, you see him too, right? Who? The deer. And Ving puts his hand on his own chest. Uh, what, what do you mean? Which deer?

And you, as you put your hand on your chest and you connect with the amethyst crystal geode inside, your perception shifts from a moment against your will. You feel like something royal in your stomach and then your vision clouds and standing before you is a magnificent, golden 16 point elk. Hey, Ving. Fuck me. And I think that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma dome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz. So long everybody.

Playing Ving, the half elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. And playing fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica tie. Bye everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music as always. And all of the original music, uh, the original music, uh, on the show has been composed by Aaron, which you can find on SoundCloud, a spell or SoundCloud account. Uh, thank you to all of our supporters on Patrion and online and around the world. Thank you to you for listening.

You can find us on the internet at spell or most places. We'll catch you next time. Bye. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost, they be fun. Time. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I'm glad you're here. Bye. Lately. Oh.

If you like what you're listening to, then you're going to love patron.com slash Spout Lore where you can be part of our You want to say any of the right words? What? You said patron.com patron.com If you want to support us in our stonk pursuits, I'm so sorry. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close for the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Valkyrie, Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello there. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hi, everyone. When last we left our heroes, they were recovering from a mutiny. The ship trying to careen into the rocks of the Devil's Grin. Ving stopped the boat from crashing.

Billy caught a erstwhile mutineer leader, Eggs Benedict, physically removing a memory from his mouth before he drowned in the sea. Uh, every, people got everything back under control. Some remaining mutineers were thrown in the brig, including, uh, halfling pirate peanuts. And temporary repairs were made. Wrecks were plundered. Uh, we got some interesting loot, including a broken compass, a sword, and a book of sea shanties.

And then, uh, everybody stood around Billy while he very nonchalantly explained that he was that he pulled a memory from a man's head and, uh, proceeded to read that memory in front of everybody, discovering that Eggs was working with Bobby of the Centaur in some respect as a, as just a smuggler doing smuggler stuff. Mm-hmm. And discovered the identity and then later on location of a place called the Four Frost Islands. Oh, yeah. Some sort of snowy, icy pirate haven.

Uh, then we undertook a perilous journey. Uh, Ving navigated, Billy scouted ahead, and Tuck, uh, managed the provisions alongside Ted, uh, the somewhat violent and unstable ship's cook, I guess? Yeah, he'll fly off the handle, but he will make an Eggs Beignets that'll knock your fucking trunks off. Eggs Beignets. Is that a thing? Yeah, probably. It is in our world. What's Beignets? A Beignet is a donut. It's like a kind of, uh, egg donut. Yeah, yeah. Kind of New Orleans donut.

Yeah, with eggs and hollandaise sauce on it. Yeah. Yeah, egg donut as I'm into this. And on day five or six of, uh, Ted's delicious culinary journey that he took everybody on, uh, Tuck and Ving discovered, uh, mutineer Peanuts in the brig howling about something. And upon arriving, she asked, you see it too, Ving, right? The deer? And Ving then did see, uh, magnificent golden elk putting together that the entire crew has been eating food laced with ghost root, plundered ghost root for days.

And that is where we find our heroes now, seeing a spiritual elk in the brig. Did we all see it? You all saw it and then it disappeared. Oh, whoa. Holy shit. We're all high on ghost root. All right, everyone. Question everything. Question everything. Billy's really high on ghost root. Well, I'm so, I have been eating Crow's leftovers. Oh, no. Billy's been seeing spirits for days. Just hasn't told anybody. That's how he found the shortcut because he's like, she's just speaking to me.

Oh, that's actually kind of sweet. Billy was like watching the ocean and the spirits were like, come along, Billy. Yeah, I'm like, oh, yeah, totally. And Crow is the same. He's just like, you sure are learning the ocean root pretty, pretty quickly. Oh, yeah. And he's seeing Billy like with flowers in his hair. Yes. Oh, his actual spirit form. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. So it's at this time as you all realize, oh, something's up.

You hear, ah, and somebody behind you falls out of their hammock like slapping at their body like, get him off, get him off. And you see a puff of like bright green moths like leap off of their body and then disappear. And then it's like, hold on a second. And he walks over to his axe and he picks it up and he's like, fellas, are you here? Yeah. What's up? Oh, man. I miss you guys. Oh, man. You don't have to miss us. We're always right here. What? And then you can't hear them anymore. Fuck.

Whatever you do, don't forget to most importance. Your life hangs in the back. Well, there's something about floating when you're in the spirit world when you're on ghost route. Oh, right. I was floating. I was floating. It definitely happens in the spirit world. That's what you know for sure. Billy is all nervous. So he's like, everyone, strap yourselves down. Make sure you stay here with us. Put on whatever harness you can find. And so Billy's like tangling himself up into like a fishing net.

Yeah. If everyone, if you see like animals or whatever, it's kind of not real, but it is real. I want to gather everyone around, get around. We need to talk about something very important. I have a really good business idea. I think you guys are going to, I have so many cool apps ideas. I've been thinking about them for a long time. Like ideas for appetizers? Yeah. For different apps. Lemon curd. Try it. Try it with fish. Cause lemon, you squeeze lemon on top of the fish. That's really good.

Shit. I squinted his face. It scratches. Oh, wow. And you hear, come on, everybody. Gather around. Vig's got some great ideas here. And you look and there's a horse next to you. And then the horse disappears. Holy shit. And Maggie comes stumbling up from like where her captain's quarter is. And is like, Hey, everybody. Out of curiosity. How are you? We're all fucked on ghost route. Okay. So it's not just me then. There was a hedgehog in my quarters that was singing to me.

Do you remember the song? Nope. I don't. What do we do? Here, this helps. And he gives her some halfling pipe weed. Yeah. And she takes a huge huff. I don't have enough for everybody. Quick, blow that into somebody else's mouth. And she blows it like out the side of her mouth. Like, get away from me. Okay. I don't know shit about spirit stuff. Is this going to be dangerous? Not if you secure yourself to the ship. Billy is nuts. Billy is even more tied in than before.

Could I do something that Billy's doing? I just pictured him going around with tacks and nailing everyone's shoes to the deck. Everybody be secured. Get trapped. Get trapped. Tug is just like, all right, I think we can all agree that whatever's happening right now is for sure Ted's fault. Ted did it. Nobody else. And Ted is like laying limp in his hammock. Like his peg leg hanging down. He's like, yeah, I did it. What are you going to do about it? I'd do it again too.

He's waving a knife in the air. Come and get me. Okay. I mean, halfling pipe weed is only going to last for a few minutes. We need to get this ship under control. How long do the effects of ghost root last? And Maggie throws her hands up in the air. Fuck if I know. Bing was like, I was actually talking to the badger right there. Yes. Well, now that you mention it, ghost root, metabolize, metabolizes differently in each person's system according to their spiritual alignment. I'm fucked.

Can I have somebody can Spout Lore about that too? Okay, that's pretty good. That is actually a good idea. I'd like to Spout Lore about that. Okay, but what were you going to say? I was going to say I had an idea for the episode where it's an undertake a perilous journey role where we just have to get up to the top deck. Yeah, a bottle episode. We just have to get up to the top deck to anchor the ship. Yeah. And like make sure whoever's helping it isn't directing us into walls or whatever.

Our rations are four uses of halfling pipeweed. That's really funny. That's pretty good. We should definitely do something like that because everybody's just so freaked out. Yeah. Okay. Okay, so I'm going to Spout Lore on this. How long the effects last? Yeah. Eight. So for these kinds of like spiritual communing purposes, we're going to have Ving knows that ghost root in its purest form is the one that lasts the longest.

But since this was adulterated as it were sort of in the food, it was all mixed with a bunch of other shit. It's probably not going to last as long as traditional ghost root, but that is all you're going to get from that Spout Lore. But you know for sure that it's not going to be like a tuck in the spirit world kind of thing where he ate a whole root and flew through the spirit realm for like eons. You look over at tuck and he's like, guys, I'm flying again.

He's just hanging in somebody's hammock lying on a person. Look, I'm light as a feather. No, you're not. I promise. Okay. Okay. So here's what we're going to do. We are going to do some undertake a perilous journey roles to try and get you guys back on deck. So you're unfortunately on the bottom deck because that's where the brig was. So there's two decks above you before you get to the top. Oh my God. I love this side view. Yeah. Steve Z's who style of the ship. Yeah, exactly.

So it's going to take you one perilous journey move to get to the stairs one to get up the stairs themselves one across up one across up. Holy shit. Who's going to scout ahead and who's going to navigate? Gosh, scout is my job and I have to get out of my net. Okay. Scout ahead 2d6 plus wisdom. 12. Okay. I am the and I tell myself Billy, you're the trap expert. You know what's going on here. You can get yourself out of this mess and on a 10 10 plus from us go ahead.

You get to choose two from this list. You get the drop on whatever lies ahead. You defer discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain a shortcut shelter or tactical advantage make a discovery notice a danger. The first to get the drop on whatever lies ahead and discern a beneficial aspect. Yeah. Okay. So shortcut could be that you just know you find a way to get up to the second deck without having to get to the stairs first. Yeah, it's as I'm getting out of my net.

There's a floorboard that's loose that you see above you like a loose board. Yeah, everyone we can if you're small enough you can fit up this way just climb up the net. It's all here giant sailors across the okay. So you get the jump on whatever lies ahead as well and Billy you look up like up the beam that goes to where this loose for floorboard is and you see a glowing red spider in like a glowing red web right at the like crux of the beam and the board is like yeah come up this way.

Don't touch me. This is a shortcut. You should come up here. Okay, everyone do not go that way. Who's gonna who's gonna navigate? Because you could still deal with this spirit spider. I'll navigate spirit spider. Get over here and he picks up the axe. He starts just you know when you take like I don't know like your hand one of the Swiffers one of those Swiffer dusters and like go into corners of rooms and stuff. He's like get over here Swiffer duster with the duster and Chad.

Yeah, fight that spider buddies. So you're hacking and slashing. I'm navigating. You don't navigate of a physical a living thing. I'm navigating the water the waters of my heart my friend hack and slash. Yeah, Ted. Okay that roll your damage one. Well, you you start waving your axe at this glowing red spider and you tap it with the axe and it goes. Whoa, what the fuck and it scuttles away spirit axe bitch. You hear Larry Terry and Chad go. Yeah, fuck off. These are my boys here bro.

You don't want to come around here anymore. This hole in the wall is ours and now the way is temporarily clear as you see the spider starting to weave a web in a wide perimeter on the roof, but you have some time to try and get through the roof. All right, I slipped through. Well, somebody's got to go. Somebody's got to navigate the course. Someone's got to lead the way. Dang it. Okay. Okay, I'll go up through the thing. Everybody make yourself super skinny tall elves. Let's do it.

Duty six plus intelligence to navigate. He's looking at it like make a hole bigger. You know would make woods less make hole bigger to okay. Stay guys six on a six minus mark XP. Okay. Oh yeah, great. So what's the failure here? Snakes come out of my eyes. I'm be like follow me.

I know this and he's like and everybody sees that and literally freaks out and he's just turning around like what what in this thing and every time you look at something the things like their face everyone's running in every direction. I know follow me. Follow me. Why am I following you? You should be following me. Bruno's like there's demons on this ship! Just crashes into a pile of boxes and is gone. So everybody's now separated. It sounds like Billy you run off.

You see snakes come out of Ving's eyes. Yeah, I rolled down. I don't know under somebody's hammock and I'm clinging on from under there hiding like what is happening? Where's Ping? Tuck do you just start barreling through the ship? Yeah. Tuck hokey. Hulk runs through the ship with TLC in front of him. Smashing people out of the way. And now none of you know where on the boat you are anymore. I look under me at the floor and it's turned into like waves of sand. Like, no.

You can see like scorpions scuttling along on the sand. Porn scorpions. No, not again. Yeah, Billy, that's what you feel. You feel like this hot desert wind blow, ruffle your hair, and you hear like… No, no, it's too soon. Don't take me back there. So what do you do? I climb up the hammock and try to pull myself up the beam. 2d6 plus dexterity. Nine. Nine, okay. What's the partial success? I do get halfway up, but I slip and my shirt collar gets stuck in the wood. Like in a chip in the wood.

Looking down at the sand and porn scorpions. Yeah, you're hanging there and you feel yourself, just all your weight is pulling against the shirt that you're on. And you see the scorpions sniffing as much as snorpheons. Snorpheons. Snorpheons. We're all actually high. Not a snorpheon. You see them sniffing at the base of the pillar and start climbing up the beam. No, get away from me. Get away from me. I tuck my legs up. You see them clip in their little clickers.

One of them is like, we will get away from you for a story. Okay. Oh, you want a story? Okay. I can tell a story. No problem. I have so many. If I just calm down and look in my memory. Oh, Lordy me. There was once a Wilhelmina and she was great at farming beets and carrots. And one year the big bear came and he ate all of them. And then her family didn't know what to do because they relied on those beets and carrots to get them through the winter. And so the family starved.

And they start clacking faster. Yes. Yeah. Stupid humans. Yes. They, uh, they, they, they died and the winter came and there was a big snowfall and it covered up their little shack and no one found them until spring. Yeah. The end. Roll 2d6 plus charisma. 12. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Stupid, stupid Wilhelmina. Yeah. Pretty silly of her. All know that hoarding food for the winter never works like that stupid ant. We will help you.

And they climb up the beam and they start clicking at the spider to get the spider. Okay. Okay. Okay. And they start trying to help you up from your little thing. Thank you. Scorpion. You are free to go. Small one. Thank you. You have the heart of a scorpion. Okay. And they, they get you to a point where you can scuttle up to the deck. Okay. And now you're on the, you're on the second deck. You got one more deck to go until you're on the top thing. You have two snakes in your eyes.

Half in half out. And it's kind of fucked up because you realize that spiritually they're melding with your spirit at this time. They're using out of their mouths. You can see out of both of their eyes. So each of your eyes has two eyes right now is for the first time in his life. See sick snake sick. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Give me a 2d six plus constitution. See sick spelt s e sick. Nice. 2d six plus constitution to see how you handle this. I got 10. I like and I don't throw up.

Yeah, you don't. You're not. You're not too sick, but you still got these snakes in your eyes. They're my footing. Yeah. You find your footing and now you just got to figure out how to get to where you were trying to go. The snakes are moving a lot. So you snakes. I speak to them. Oh, parcel turn, bro. Bro. What are you doing? Dude, that's what it sounds to everyone else. But to them, it's like. Yo, what's up, man? Oh, you know, just fucking vibing in your eyes, bro. Yeah. Slytherin. Yeah.

Trying to get through to the material plane. You know, I. Hey, you got a good sense of the material plane. What? My sense of material plane right now is a little fudged up. If you know what I'm saying. I don't. Guys ever get fudged up. You guys want to get fudged up. He puts some halfling pipe weight up to his eyes. Are you trying to you're trying to inoculate these snake spirits? It's in some way. I'm trying to use their sense.

If they're if they have a good sense of material world, I want to use their snake sense to help me find my way up to the next level. Okay. Because I can't see shit really. It's all over the place. I want to hone them into users. There's snake senses to get me upstairs. Um, so you could roll to defy danger wisdom to try and use the senses of these snakes to get where you're going. I got seven. Okay.

So you kind of get them to calm down a little bit to stop moving around so much so you can see through this. Yes. They're like, okay, bro. Yeah. Yeah. But you got to you got to promise us that you will help us out when we when this is all good so we can get through the material. Do you promise? I promise. Put out your hand. He puts out his hand. And both of the snakes whip around and bite on your hands. All right. The meaty part of my thumb. Yeah. And they inject a little bit of venom into you.

You feel this like spirit venom into your body. What the fuck? Vinc sucks the venom. I'm out. Hey, hey, hey, no, bro, bro, bro. Put that back. He blows the venom back. That's part of the promise. It's how we do it. Okay. All right, let's go. Guess what, guys? What? I saw some big fat, juicy spear rats up on the second level. Fuck. Yeah. He just like leans forward and lets his eyes lead him. Yeah. And they lead you through.

There's a bunch of people losing their fucking minds between here and the stairs. And one of the people that you pass on your way to the stairs, you see behind the stairs near. A kind of darker section of the ship is tuck, who seems to be losing his mind. Tuck, you've crashed through everything on this deck to the back of the room. And what do you see when you get here? So tuck is sort of freaking out because the tree tattoo in his arm is actually turning into a real tree.

Oh, there's like branches growing out of it. And like the base of it that is like dying is actually like it looks like rotten flesh. Yeah. I'm going to go back to him. Oh, yucky. Yeah. Gross. So yeah, there's like, you're standing there by yourself basically. And there's like branches that start sprouting out of your arm. And there's like lush leaves that are starting to blossom and bush up on your arm. What do you do? He's kind of just like, just freaking out. Yeah.

Thing, what's going on with my arm? Why is it turning into tree? Dude, you're just high. It'll go away. Follow me. Okay. It's fine. Okay. Actually, that looks pretty significant. Wait, is it going to be like this forever? I don't know it, but it does seem like a metaphor. Let's just keep thinking about it as we go upstairs. What's a metaphor? It's like an analogy or a simile. What's a metaphor? I don't know. It's for whatever you want. Oh, fuck you. I'm done. I'm taking three. One.

So I cut, I grab one of Vink's flaps and I'm like just seeing leaves and stuff. And I'm like falling because I can't see anything. Okay. Then give me a defy danger wisdom, I guess. Kind of vibe your way up. Okay. Two to six. Six. Do you want to aid? Yeah, sure. Two to six plus bond. Nice, eight. Okay, cool. You guys get to the stairs. You pull Tuck around like to the stairs to get up to the next deck. Tuck, you're holding on. He's leading the way. Everything's fine.

The leaves have fully clouded your vision. Oh, whoa. And you feel like you can't move your fingers anymore. And you look back and Vink, you see that there are like leaves and branches fully encasing. And you're like, oh, I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. Tuck's hand and like up to the middle of his arm. Vink, I'm blind. I can't see anything. You're turning into a tree. Oh.

We cut to Billy. Billy, you've climbed out through your hole in the floor. And you get to the top and you see Caroline. Yeah. She's sitting on a box. She's got both of her hands on her legs and her eyes are wide. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline. It's me, Billy. Why'd you come out of the floor? Because it was faster. Listen.

I'm pretty sure we all accidentally had some ghost root. And so anything, like question everything. If you're seeing stuff, it's not real. Just like, close your eyes or something. So wait. That's why you came out of the floor. Oh. Are you a hallucination? What? No. I'm real. Are you a hallucination, Billy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I touch her face. Just stay on that box and if something tries to talk to you, just ignore it, okay? She nods and goes, alright, alright.

She pulls both of her legs up onto the box she's sitting on, sits cross-legged and starts to meditate. Oh, that's smart. Okay, maybe I'll try that while I walk. So I'm like touching the wall as I walk, I'm like this is how people meditate. Think about their breathing and the floor under me or whatever. But I can't see where I'm going so I'm going to peek. One eye at a time. Hell yeah, wink blink technique. Yeah, it always works. Give me a 2d6 plus wisdom. Nine. Nine, okay.

So you're walking and you're trying to meditate you're wink blinking? You're touching the boat, you're trying to get in tune with things and you've been feeling more acutely than some probably you're like yourself being pulled between like rippled between the material and the spirit and you feel for a second a sensation that's very similar to when you have entered the ferry you feel yourself like vibrating on a precipice and you're about to fall in. Not right now. Not right now.

We're just going to stay with the little boy here. We're just going to stay with him. We're just going to stay with the little boy in the little boy body and he loves gravy. He loves to he loves his friends. He loves his two awesome friends. And you keep walking and you're doing the wink blink and you see like the deck ahead of you. You see a bunch of like glowing roly-poly bugs like roll across the floor in front of you and you wink blink again and you are standing in a snowy field. Fuck! Fuck!

Oh no! Give me a 2d6 plus 2d6 plus wisdom to try and get a hold of what's going on. Seven. Then yeah, you close your eyes and concentrate and go no, no, no not yet. And you wink blink again and you're back below deck. Well, was Billy in the Winter Wars? Winter Wars? Why do you think I would answer that question? I thought it could be. I want to know. Yeah. Too bad. Oh. You just kind of put it there to everyone. I want to know where I went. Yeah.

Listeners, if you think that Billy was in the Winter War, write us at www.winterwar.spellore.com slash Patriots. But yeah, Billy, as you're like wink blinking yourself out of this frozen field, you see just at the edge of this frozen plane a figure in a long white cloak. And then they're gone. Oh, dang it. Oh my gosh. It's all so useless. And the roly-poly bugs are sitting in front of you. Now, like, you okay? No, I'm not. That was weird. Move. And they pop up into balls and they roll away.

And you're in front of the ladder. You found the ladder. All right. Up I go. Yeah. And we're going to cut back to Tuck and Ving. Ving saw Billy go up through the hole in the ceiling and he was like, it's okay, buddy. I saw Billy go upstairs. He's going to come over and open this latch any second now. Come on, Billy, Billy, Billy. And you're standing there for what feels like six weeks and the hatch doesn't open. It doesn't open. I'm hungry. There's somebody new here.

Yeah, it's Bruno standing there like, yeah, man, he's going to come for sure. And then cut forward another 10 minutes and there's like a group of pirates who have gotten to the stairs and we're all just waiting there. Yeah, he's definitely, he's definitely coming for sure. I can't wait for Billy to come. Save us. Hey, does anybody else think maybe we should try and open this hatch ourselves? Mutiny. Get him. I'm going to try and open the hatch. Oh, we can open from down here. Yeah.

Why do you think we would lock? Anyway, and you see this, it's the chunky mutineer, the older dude from, he's got like short cut gray hair and a long walrusy mustache. And he like hobbles up to the ladder. He very shakily grabs onto one bar, very shakily grabs onto the other bar and starts slowly putting his feet down. Putting his feet on the ladder. But then the second step, he instead of alternating feet, picks the same foot up again and he's just halfway walking up this ladder. I got it.

I'm going to get it. Other foot, dude. Other foot. What do you mean? You move your other foot too. Oh my God. And he puts his other foot back down on the ground and starts picking the other foot up. So what do you guys do? What do you do? Do you all just stand there? I mean, I want to give this, I'm going to give the chunky monkey guy some halfling pipe weed. I don't know, man. I haven't done that stuff since I was like 25. I grab him like a kiss and blow it in his mouth. That's the stuff.

I'll miss that. Okay, here we go. And he puts both hands on both bars at the same time this time. One step, two steps, alternating feet. And then you hear people in the crowd being like, Doug, Doug, Doug. He's doing it. Everyone's chanting a different name. Charles, Charles, Charles. T-Bow, T-Bow, T-Bow, T-Bow. And he reaches up and you see him wobble back. He tilts back for a second. And he grabs on. And he reaches up and he just pushes it open because it's not locked at all.

And he opens the door. Yeah. Fully. Yeah. Yeah. I did it. Charles. Doug, Doug. I did it. Frank, you did it. You hear that, Vanessa? And he points at the sky. I did it. And he tumbles up out of the hatch and you hear him start running. I did it. And then you hear a crash and a yell. Yeah, are we still in just the middle deck? Yeah. I don't have enough weed to get out of this boat. So you guys climb up out of the deck onto this. The one that's just below the top deck. And you climb out into a…

Can I get a… Like a bug sound? Like a flying bug sound? You climb up into a lush, humid jungle. It sounds lush. It is lush, bro. It's fucking humid in here. It's so lush. Maybe it's lush enough to hotbox the whole crew. Yeah. We could be calling hotboxes whole bird. By God, that's Bruno. By God, bro. I think you're right. Let's do it. Yeah, I mean, why not? That makes sense. It's the only way. Okay. Bruno gets everybody to give him some space. I know what I'm doing.

Wait, Bruno's in charge of this hotbox? I'm always in charge of the hotbox, bro. Hand it over. All right, I trust you. He takes it. And he… He pulls out what looks to be some sort of long glass and metal tube that he's been carrying on his person this whole time. I don't know what I'm doing. He hands it over to me. God damn it. Okay. I got too scared. It's too much pressure. Whips it up like an expert. Makes like a third lung and water jug with an old two liter pop bottle or whatever.

Gets a brazier down. Throws it in there. Lights it. So you're going to use all of your remaining… Pipe weed. But if you get this, then it's going to clear at least you and Tuck. Oh, sick. Okay. Light it up. All right. 2d6 plus wisdom, it seems like. Nice. Well, yeah. Nine. I'll help. All right. How? I bite into an apple and I turn it into a bong. Yeah. Perfect. You're going to make an apple out of a bong. He starts eating a bong. A bong a day keeps the doctor away. All right. 2d6 plus bond.

Plus bong. Nice. 11. Beautiful. 11. Yeah. Eight plus two. Wait, is this three? That's a two and a three. Oh, shit. Yeah. These are d6. That wouldn't make any sense. Abdul, you need glasses. I failed. I failed. Mark your point of experience. Okay. 12. I failed. Guys, I'm high. So, yeah. The seven to nine is only one of you is going to be clear enough to actually be effective. Okay. I'm the one over the brazier. It's probably me. Yeah. Totally. So. Ving, leave me behind. Ving, leave me behind.

He's talking to Bruno. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Leave him behind. Take me with you. I can help. Oh God. And you feel the snakes in your eyes start to recede and they go, remember bro, you promise. I remember. And they disappear. Whoa. And you can see clearly and tuck. You see just a bushy bush where his arm used to be. Wow.

And his eyes have leaves covering them as well. Oh my God. Wow. And we're going to cut to Billy. Billy, you find the ladder. You haul yourself up it. Yeah. It takes so much longer than you think it's going to. Yeah, because his perception of distance is changing. So he's like a foot off the ground, but looks so far. And he's so scared. Yeah. You look down six inches and you hear like, ka-ka! Yeah. On the top of a mountain. It's a canyon down there. And the wind is blowing so hard.

It's like a hurricane! It's like a hurricane! Shifts to a wide shot. And he actually is, Billy is blowing in the wind. Like there's some sort of hurricane wind down here that only Billy can feel. Whoa! You're going to have to roll something to get up this ladder. 2d6 plus a dexterity. 10. Good lord. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah, you are used to climbing up high places. And spirit winds only push you further up the ladder. Oh, yeah. You feel the wind kind of catch you under the butt and pick you up.

A couple feet. It's all these flower petals that fly up around me. Oh! Wow, we all really like that. And you feel your feet gently touch at the top of the ladder. Crow. And you look up and you see wood. Because there's still, you're still on the last deck before the top. Oh, shit. Where am I? God, I've never been, I'm lost. And Billy, you feel, you're starting to get pretty high. You're hungry. You've been traveling for months. Months. You're starving. What do I have?

You have nothing on you that you can, that you can eat. I'm going to go find a snack. Mm-hmm. And, oh man, it's perfect. You start walking around looking for something to eat and you find yourself in a beautiful orchard full of ripe, fat persimmons. No, no, stay away, Billy. Those aren't real. Oh, they smell so good. They're so juicy and ripe. Cover your nose. So Billy sticks both fingers up his nose. Yeah. He's like walking around. Like, don't fall for it. Oh my God, don't trip, Billy.

No, don't listen. And one plops right on the ground in front of you into the soft green grass of this orchard. Oh my God. You can see the juices leaking out. No, right away. Okay, and as you're running away, you hear Hello? And you're swarming around the persimmon, the juice. And what's leaking out on the ground is a single wasp. Oh my God. Oh my God. Run away. Wait a sec. It's actually freaking Justin. You seem familiar. Who? Where?

And it goes, and it flies right up to your face and starts flitting around. I know you. Billy's going to try to meditate just like Caroline was. Yeah, hit the ground and just meditate right away. Yep. Okay, 2d6 plus wisdom. Okay. Eight. Okay. You do it. You meditate and you close your eyes, sit on the ground and start trying to align yourself out of whatever fragment of the spirit realm this is. And you hear, be seeing you. Good one. I mean, wasp seeing you. Fuck.

And yeah, you, the buzzing slowly fades and you open your eyes and you are sitting on a pile of burlap sacks. Oh, I've never been so happy to be here. Man. How many grudges did we maybe create when we were in the spirit realm? At least one. A wasp. Yeah. Yeah. Ving definitely has grudge with the eagle for sure. Yeah. Oh yeah. Eagle. Who thankfully it does not appear has arrived at this boat. Every time. Yeah. Ving hears like any like, but who knows?

I feel like this event might be creating some turbulence in the spirit world that we might have to be dealing with later on. Yeah. It's like, there's like a pinpoint like convergence because we ate so much ghost, like so many people ate so much ghost through that. It's just like, it's like a beacon. Yeah. World. Yeah. All the spirits are coming to like take a sniff. Yeah. Cause they're all like, we can get through over here. Yeah.

Uh, so Billy, you see that you're now, you just see the boat for a second for a merciful moment. You just see what is actually around you. Uh, and you see that the ladder to the deck is close, but so far you even see light, coming through actual daylight. So you're going to have to navigate your way there. So give me a two D six plus intelligence. Wow. Whoa. I have no intelligence and it's a 12. Fuck. You rolled two sixes. I did. Wow. I love two sixes. Oh, so nice.

So Billy is doing the safe thing and he's, uh, like army crawling on the floor. Cause he's like, just stay in touch with the material world. Nice. Just stay as close to the, to the ground as you can. Trying to take in every actual physical sensation. Like, Oh, sawdust. Oops. I cut myself. Like just really trying to stay grounded and you find yourself at the base of the ladder. Beautifully. There are people rolling on the ground, seemingly struggling with some sort of spirit.

You see Ted finally is just like, Oh, he's like punching open air in front of him, but it seems like he's really in the middle of it. He's got a mouth full, big, beautiful white teeth. Spirit teeth. Yeah. Uh, and the ladder's right there in front of you. And we're going to cut back to tucking Ving. Oh, Ving, you can see tuck. You're a tree. I'm full. You just feel like a tree. Okay. Got trees for eyes. You got a tree for a hand. Stay with me, buddy. Don't get rooted.

God, this is the highest I've ever been for sure. I feel like a tree. And then, you know, there is one more deck above you before you get to the top. Okay. We're at the, there's a whole line of people who are freaking out attached. Like, it's like a hand on hand. Yeah, exactly. I'm the high. I'm two times high, but it seems to be working. Yeah. And you're still in this kind of like jungle zone. Do I need to navigate then? Because I'd have to get to the next one. Yeah.

Yeah, Ving, get us out of the jungle zone. Cause I'm stiffening. 2d6 plus intelligence. Hold on. That's hilarious. All right. I'm box car. Holy two sixes. Fuck. Plus intelligence. Hell yeah. Zero. Woo hoo. On another navigation. Okay. On another intelligence rule, you avoid dangers and distractions and make good time reaching a point of the GM's choosing before you need to make camp. You're not going to have to make camp. Oh man. This is like, and the thing is the lineup of people is so long.

Yeah. And you thankfully get to the ladder through, uh, all of these like dense, like jungle, like mangrove trees and vines chopping them out of the way. He's just like hacking people's belongings up with him. He's got the sword, the sword that he found and he's just hack. But you dad, you do get to one point in the spirit leaves and you hear something move through the trees next to you. Everyone get behind me and it moves off into the distance. I chase it. You chase it. I want to chase it.

Okay. You got Chuck, Chuck, Chuck. Fuck. What's your name? No. Yeah. It's Chuck now. Cause how much wood would a wood? Yeah. If a woodchuck could fuck wood and then he goes to fist bump, but he just touches the air. Cause he's, he's blind. Come on, man. Where are you? Uh, yeah, you're going to go, you're going to chase it down. Well, I just want to say something. All right. Uh, this is going to be another navigate. Oh God. Okay. Who are you? I got a 10. So fucked up. So fucked.

Uh, get back here. I want to help you grow. Then you're pushing through this like spirit foliage and you know that you're coming to the edge of the boat. You can tell. I stop. I listen. I look, I feel you look and you reach out and it's just like impenetrable. There's just air in front of you and you see the moonlight passing through the dense jungle. Oh, so cool. You see what looks like an elf and they make the quickest eye contact with you and then they dart into the trees and they're gone.

Is this your thing? We're going to cut back to Tuck. Sick. Tuck, Ving has run off into the trees. You think you can hear kind of. I ran into the, the room closet. I can hear a lot of rummaging around in there. Now, Perel's in there. Oh, what are you doing? Get off of me. But I don't hear help. Oh man. Yeah. Where's, how's Perel doing? Do you think? Can we cut to Perel for a second? Yeah. Perel's just on the front of the boat and he's looking down as the water passes by.

Can you be looking at his hands? He's like his webbed hands. Yeah. His hands are webbed like a frog's hands and he's just like, Oh no, he's reverted. He's reverted to the fish form. That's why it's webbed. Oh, cool. I love the fish. He's coy again. Yeah. His hands are like shimmering with like golden orange scales. They're like webs in between his fingers. He's like, Whoa. And that's, he's just, his mouth is just opening and closing. Like he's trying to stop himself from jumping into the water.

It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, on his chest as he like hurts a little bit he's just like whoa and we cut back down to Billy Billy you find yourself clamoring up the ladder yeah can you roll one more thing for me a defy danger dexterity 10 we're I'm killing it we're all rolling we're having so much fun this is so good at being high and Chuck is just blind this is the best you've ever maybe rolled and it's so low stakes yes to the get to the top deck and after scaling this insurmountable five-step ladder you roll out onto the deck and the actual sea air touches you for the first time in what feels like decades oh my god breathe again it's real the ocean is real and actually you take a breath and you breathe in this deep brining air around you and you feel your body calm and your vision clear a little bit and any like you know the roly-poly bugs that followed you up the ladder start to shimmer and fade around you and there are some people on the deck but they look like they're just exhausted they're sleeping now people are like hunched over stuff you see Perel his floral day coat flapping in the wind at the front of the boat as he's flexing his hands and he's like no no no no no no no no no no no and you see crow high up and he goes Billy are you okay yeah what is going on down there I'll tell you in a bit okay you're safe I'm good I just have to check on Perel okay I'm really fucking high it's Billy yeah I love I love you man I love you I just love everybody I'm having a great time and you find Perel at the front of the boat and he hears you coming and he whips around it's just me oh Billy oh Billy don't listen to whatever you see no I won't I can't be that fish again you're not that fish I can't be that fish again you're the wizard Perel oh I can't be that fish just lay on the floor let me just wrap you up in your coat like all nice look at you with your human face and your human hands and no fish scales anywhere hold on and he rolls over onto his side and he works a little bit and works his mouth and he spits out onto the deck a triangular silver coin oh what I didn't eat that and he points it Billy I want to be clear I didn't eat a coin I know I think Koi did though oh oh oh okay I think that's it I think that's all that's in there yeah you want me to rub your I'll rub your back here you go oh thanks Billy that feels great yeah that feels great giving you a little back rub thank you so much and Maggie stumbles up behind you and she's breathing deeply too and you can see her constitution clearing in some way and she's like wow that was bad huh it was pretty rough um seems to help once we get up top here okay wow great uh so everybody else below deck probably still losing it yeah okay all right we should probably go help him we're waiting at the next one okay we saw Maggie go up any second now she'll be coming in intrepid captain wouldn't let us down this time and uh yeah she comes down and she does open the hatch for everybody and sees all of these all right let's let's get everybody cleaned up huh we're covered in shit stuff like whatever was down here you smashed into it I know but that time that we were waiting under the Billy hatch I think it was like from our perception years being invented cool ranch Doritos in the time that it took you guys actually formed a community called cool ranch we fashioned like clothes ourselves out of skins quote unquote that we found old sacks and shirt totally yeah there's been a war between the two tribes and some people died and then tuck comes out he's still blind and he's like I've lived a thousand lifetimes and everybody comes up onto the deck one by one everybody's breathing in this sea air and this spiritual perception is finally clearing from their vision tuck you feel but don't see the leaves fall away from your eyes and your your fingers soften and start moving again oh god holy shit and your tattoo is just a tattoo I'm soft again guys and I'm in a soft face and everybody is standing on deck and you realize you've just been drifting for like hours and hours and hours who knows how long and yeah it seems like you've drifted off course a little bit and Maggie goes all right everybody she's standing up on a box all of the crew gathered around everybody sweaty and and pale and just kind of wearing whatever they had on them or whatever clothes they made out of whatever spirit materials they thought they saw some people have gotten married and divorced in the time that they lost yeah all right everyone I think we can all agree that that was pretty fucked Ted you're off rations and Ted goes I think that's smart next order of business is get back on track and get to the four frost islands what do we say yeah everybody goes actually you know what first let's maybe take a break everybody get some rest yeah yeah and they go and they very gently drop the anchor hoping that the mechanism doesn't fully come loose this time and the tuck has to lower it down hand over hand and he's still so fucking hung over like spirit hung over yeah 2d6 plus strength three experience you did this yourself go ahead and I wait six because I have three strength so someone can help me I'll aid you yeah totally yeah there's no yeah no reason you can't three no five six I got six six well I mean this is technically a situation in which so funny in which somebody can aid and aid because I mean if we're all fucked right now I'd love to see has gone to pick up that triangle coin and he sees both of you struggling and I also struggle got six you can't do shit you also got a six yeah oh my god go sprute so six three sixes three sixes three oh no beelzebub oh man it was like tuck started lowering it and then it started like slipping through his fingers because his hands still feel weird and then ving ran up and was like oh I got you buddy and then got sucked to the edge of the ship as soon as he grabbed it yeah billy had gone to try to help but he slipped on a banana slipped on a banana and uh skidded up into your guys's legs yeah and slammed into ving who slammed into tuck who dropped the anchor ted's there with the is it ted right who was in charge of the rations and he's like I swear that was the last ration I'll ever touch he's eating a banana ted I'm not gonna eat at all I promise uh so I think you drop the anchor so fast that the boat goes like and something falls over the side what is it to be lost forever fucking ted I hope oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh okay I mean it could be ted uh oh actually okay um something below deck<|cy|> something below deck smashes is it the liquid gold it's the liquid gold so if you go below deck to figure out what that was somebody comes up and is like what is this and it's like bulging out of the seams in the thing cuz it's like it's gold now it looks like a giant nugget of gold yeah so really thin and brittle yeah if we wanted to sell it we would have to be like super sneaky about it yeah exactly shit yeah uh but everybody takes a break if you've lost any hit points which I don't think you have feel free to replenish some stuff what's black from knights embrace a black spire rises oh can I try and commune with him right now it's doing a resting yeah cuz we're so close to spirit realm maybe I can figure out how to do it cuz we still have some ghost read in my system is the dumb thing that tux says to vang where he's like ving this is I'm pretty sure cuz I have a little bit of ghost root left in my system I can figure out how to do this things like yeah whatever knowing full well that cosmologically metaphysically not connected at all yeah so tux trying to find a way to connect with black spire using the pick I guess 2d6 plus wisdom six I'll aid yeah okay yeah d6 plus bond 11 yeah so I think maybe ving has to be close to do that at least for now and it is also probably because of the ghost root that it's working right now you what does it look like when you're trying to do this thing how do you do I the tiger I mean I don't know I just remember what it's like to be in presence with whoever I'm trying to reach out with whoever's been marked and I close my eyes and I wait for them to come to me so I try and think of black spire close my eyes and I think about wrestling of in the desert and and feeding him shiny crunch and that one tea party we had together that no one was involved what he's being saw that memory what the fuck and um yeah you see but don't feel your eyes like blink open and you see in gray scale basically high rock walls ancient rusted machinery and you feel like a deep like rumbling as you draw in breath and he that back out and you feel a question like on the edge of your mind and then the connection is broken he's curious today so something's going on with that yeah he's exploring he's exploring the mind or maybe I don't know he's curious about something else uh what are tucking or what are billion being doing with their quiet time um Billy's playing with his stuff what stuff like he because he took the triangle coin a parallel coughed up so he he's taken a packed his stuck basically and it's just a slight Yeah, there is.

I need somewhere to put this coin. I feel around the teddy. Are there any seams or pockets? There are seams. There seems to be one seam that is separate from the seams that would actually hold the bear together. But you would have to open it up. Yeah. I'm going to open it up. So you take your little knife and pop the seams on it. Inside is a small rectangular kind of beat up burnished metal box. What's inside of you?

The box itself doesn't open up, but there is on the side what looks like a little crank that folds out to the side. Okay. I crank it open. You start cranking and it starts to play a very quiet Macallan lullaby. Aww. It reminds you of the feeling of being held and watched over and cool desert air blowing in through the window on a moonlit night. You could probably shove your coin in the bear now too. I do that. I feel bad now taking it from Jake.

Yeah, so you jam your little coin in there with the music box in the bear. Was it the triangle coin that you put in there? Yeah. Cool. It's still kind of sticky. Smells pretty bad. Gross. What the? I forgot to wipe it off. Billy, wipe coins off. You're finding fish. Sorry. What's Ving doing with his quiet time? He's doing a little commune with the whispers of this part of the sea. He's never been to this part of the sea.

And in this part of the sea, I mean, everybody would see this when they come up. It's given way on the Macallan coast side to like, you see this place that we talked about, the pillar lands. Yeah. Yeah. You can see the pillars far off in the distance. The desert is giving way to like rocky, rugged, dry mountains with like the towering peaks of the white clouds far, far in the distance. Oh, I really like that there's like, you know how we look across to Washington and those mountains are huge.

Yeah. And then sometimes the clouds are behind them and then you're like, those look like way bigger mountains. That's like the white mountains are like. Yeah. Yeah. Massive. They tower over them. That's so cool. And far, far to the east you see, you know, the edge. The edge of the sea of graves. And it's starting to get colder. Like it's not as dry and hot as it was in Macall or closer to the coast further south. It's starting to get a little bit cold. Yeah. He stopped seeing.

There's like albatross that are off the shore of Macall and they'll go out really, really far, but he hasn't seen one for days. Yeah. Yeah. The ecosystem is starting to change. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Roll plus wisdom. Be granted a vision of significance to me or my allies and the spirits around you. On a 10 plus, it's clear and helpful. On a 7 to 9, it's unclear.

On a miss, it's upsetting and traumatizing. Ving's got his wooden necklace with Cloudpiercer, little bird. And he's just kind of got that. He's got it in his mouth. He's sitting there quietly. Four. Five. Four. Wonderful. He's still fucking wasted high. He found some more half-weed. So you're sitting there meditating, trying to commune with the spirits. And his mind is just, his thoughts are, he can't get there. He's just like, to-do list.

That thing I said, I wish I didn't divorce that person I met in the bottom of the decks. Man, that whole life I lived, I really messed that up. Yeah. And you're seeing all the things that you saw. You're seeing, you know, scorpions, the desert, your friend turning into a tree before your very eyes, Billy lost in a snowy field, dense jungle, biting insects, the image of an elf in the jungle, in the moonlit trees, and then steel gray waves.

And then you see towering above you a wall of fog, impenetrable, endless, consuming. The fog rolls towards you. I'm scared. Black prows, emerge from the wall. Whoa. Crude by hearty, brutal looking people. And then you see pitch black eyes. You feel teeth on your neck and then nothing. Whoa. Oh, God. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz. So long.

Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. And playing Fat Belly, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. Thank you to the incomparable Aaron Reid for, for our amazing intro and outro music. All of the original music on Spout Lore can be found on our SoundCloud account. Thank you to all of our supporters from around the world. If you want to support us on Patreon, go to www.patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please.

And you can find us online at speltlore most places. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried their best they could. And though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more whilst you're commute Or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

Uh spout if you like Spout Lore and you want to hear spout more of it go to Spout Lore.com slash money please or patreon.com slash Spout Lore gather round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tuck is the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight fingers have health he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might billy's a thief his tiny size does max the largest heart best and brightest they may not be but their friendship outweighs their smarts so gather round friends and listen you for the tales about to start hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore erin welcome erin uh that was thank you for listening to us poorly attempt to harmonize with the opening song of Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara and joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz hello everybody playing ving the half-elf druid paulie hello there I'm playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie hello when last we left our heroes they were tripping out uh we the entire episode was spent with a group of people trying to get three floors above where they started oh my god uh the crew and passengers of clearwater had consumed record quantities of ghost root uh due to some I'll-advised seasoning by ship's cook ted who's no longer the ship's cook and he's now the ship's cook and he's now the ship's cook and in doing so found themselves looking into stepping through living adjacent to the uh the spirit world the ship experienced incursions by a variety of spirit beasts uh billy did a lot of stepping through places we believe he may have fallen through some crack momentarily in reality oh right ending up somewhere right that looked like the winter war or at least a snowy field anytime there is snow in a place like that it's like a snowy field it's like a snowy field it's like a place you guys think it's the winter like winter's not just a season yeah uh what else tuck started to become a tree in some fashion his his spirit tattoo interacting strangely yeah it started taking over my whole body he was billion pretty hard there yeah totally bing and tuck ended up uh saving a group of the crew saving from shitting themselves to death I ruled snake eyes and then snakes came my eyes and bit my hand in a promise oh right yes you got you got a promise coming yep bing made a promise with two snake spirits to help them enter the material at some point yeah and was injected with their spirit venom oh man mother fuck I'm nervous but also kind of excited it's been a while since I've you know confronted the animal spirits oh right yeah bing saw a jungle scene and heard a movement in the trees and then in attempting to follow that form ended up at the physical end of the boat but passed that into the spirit world saw what he believed to be an elf of some fashion shithane of an elf of some fashion that fashion is shithane yeah that fashion is a grumpy old fuck trying to fight his wife in his green gherkin yeah right he called it a gherkin yeah yeah man mark's such a nerd sorry I meant merkin uh who else did we see we saw elk momentarily oh yeah spirit of elk uh billy saw scorpion traded his story with scorpion and wasp saw billy and said I will find you or something be seeing you okay yeah that's still scary because it's lost yeah he said uh be seeing you and then he said wait wasp seeing you fuck uh and then the crew made it to the surface uh and the sea air for some reason helped nullify the effects of the ghost route and billy found perel fighting against the form of koi oh right oh yeah before uh spitting up a silver triangular coin sick that astute listeners will remember was used to pay the spirit koi for their guidance many seasons ago and everybody took a moment to uh catch their breath after that tuck it in and we're gonna see what happens next we're gonna see what happens next we're gonna see what happens next we're gonna see what happens next we're gonna see what happens next we're gonna see what happens next um um The old Sunstone Mines.

There was giant machinery around him, and he was a curious little boy. Yeah. Billy took the coin that Perel spit up and, quote, brought it back to his stuff. It's such a funny, like, rodent-like way to describe your life. And in attempting to find a place to hide the coin, opened up the teddy bear stolen from Jake the Jackal back in McCall and found a small McCallan music box that played a gentle lullaby when cranked. Cute.

And Ving attempted to commune with the spirits from this part of the ocean and had a terrible time. Oh, fuck, right. Yeah. Holy shit. Wasn't good. Yep. Saw all of the stressful spirit environs that had been encountered by people on the boat and then also saw a wall of fog with black ships emerging from it and felt teeth on his throat. Jeez. And wide black eyes. Oh, my God. Crocodile. Mm-hmm. Is what I think. Oh. The thing that killed you. And the thing that's gone from the world. Oh, right.

Whoa. And that is where we find our heroes now. We could do another perilous journey or we could cut to the rocky archipelago of the Four Frost Islands. Yeah. I thought it'd be funny to have some sort of, like, dinner scene. I don't know. Yeah. Okay, yeah. So everybody's having a nice meal. Yeah. You've got some tables have been brought up to the top deck. Like, everybody's, yeah. Wow. Al fresco. Al fresco. Because if we go down there, like, we're fucked. Yeah. It's still fucked up down there.

We're too scared. Yeah. Nobody wants to go back down. We keep having to Rochambeau to go downstairs. It's like, I don't want to go downstairs. Some parts of the boat look like they've been transmuted in some way. Like, there are leaves sprouting out of beams. Whoa. Yeah. Really? Holy shit. Not a lot of it, but some parts. Permanent? Seemingly. Wow. Wow.

So some tables have been brought up top deck and not Ted is preparing some meals for everybody unless someone else would like to roll manage provisions. I think Perel should prepare meals. Oh, yeah. He hasn't done anything. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, I have been here. Go on. I can't because that's it. I've been here. I've been taking care of the M-O-N-K-E-Y. The Griffin. We all know there's a Griffin. Yeah. I've been taking care of Griff and we've been bonding. You named it. Yeah. Yeah.

It looks like a Griff. Aren't you a Griff little guy? You're a Griff. Griff. He likes it. Ashante Griff. Yeah. He actually does say Ashante and puts out his little claw hand. But Perel is like, all right. All right. Fine. I'll see what I can do. I'll try and make. Yeah. I'm going to make everybody a delicious meal. He's eyes got all shifty. What the fuck? What? What are you going to make for dinner? I'm just going to. I know a lot of recipes. I think we can all agree.

Why did you put quotes on recipes? Well, you know, it's what is cooking, if not the transmutation of food? And sure, maybe with transmutation, I used a unique mastery over another worldly energy force as opposed to my own two hands. But it's probably the same principle, more or less. So I'll see you guys soon. And he goes below deck and makes. Hmm. A bunch of noise. Steam sound. Steam sound. He's cooking like the Swedish chef from the Muppets. And he comes back up about 45 minutes later with.

Man, what was even left? What kind of food was even left below deck? Barrels. Spaghetti. Yeah. Mostly nuts. Wasn't tons of nuts. Lots of nuts. Lots of nuts. He didn't let him. Fruit and nut. Yeah. What if it's like leftover spaghetti noodles with a bunch of nut sauce? That sounds. Oh, nice. Put some sriracha in there. You got a. You got peanut sauce. Throw some briny seawater in there. You got yourself a ramen, my friend. That's not bad. Yeah. A ramen that might kill you.

At least make you hallucinate. So he comes up with like a bunch of bowls of nuts and lays them out. And he's like, hey, OK, just a little bit of an appetizer course. Kind of, you know, enjoy. Enjoy the nuts. And he is like laying them out on the table. Getting closer to you guys. Yeah. And he gets to the end of the table and he goes, that's all we have. Eat as many of those nuts as you can. There's nothing else. OK. There's nothing else. Zero.

I don't know what happened when you guys were down there, but the food is gone. So we look over and Crow has like a little food baby. Just laying down like, I don't come down often, but when I do, I make it worth it. Whose table are we sitting on? Whose table are we sitting on? Who's sitting on? It's one long table that's all along the deck. So like Maggie and Caroline are close to you. Perel sits down. Bruno is nearby and he keeps winking. What's up? Nothing. Wink. What is it? I wink back.

It's just like I'm on it. And he points at his own eyes and he points at everybody else. I know I'm on it. Wink. What are you on? Are you still on Ghost Route? Your side. I'm going to. Deal with the mutiny. No, the mutiny is over. What? That's. Remember when Maggie tied up all the mutineers? Yeah, that can't be it, though. Yeah, that's it. I did. It was like a one episode thing, man. They attacked us. The bunch of people died. Yeah, I know. I know that. Oh, you thought it was pirates.

And then the mutiny was going to happen after. I get. I get. No. What do you think a mutiny is? I honestly don't know. Oh, Bruno. I don't know. It's over. It's over. You did a good job, though. I did? Yeah. Okay. All right. And just then people at the other end of the table jump up. All right. Stick it up. This is a mutiny. Everybody pulls out guns. Yeah. All right. Cool. All right. Cool. No, that's fine. Everybody. And he stands up and he cleans his spoon on his glass. Click, click, click.

We grab our glasses and raise them. I just want to say congratulations to everybody on a successful. Successful counter mutiny. I think we can all agree that those filthy mutants got what they deserve. And anybody that may or may not have been involved at the beginning and then changed allegiances before it actually took place has total amnesty for the rest of our time on the ship. Peanuts like here, here. Agreed. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click.

And everybody just is there anything that you guys want to do during this dinner of specifically mutiny? Nuts only. Ving slides his nuts towards Tucker or Billy. Like, Billy, here, you can have my nuts. Oh, I can't. I can't do that. I did not. That was not. I didn't. I didn't want that. I didn't want to be here where I am now. Yeah. It's of. It's such a shame because I genuinely really enjoy the food group of nut. Yeah. But it is. You cannot say it.

You can't say that you love nuts without somebody going like, but there are food. Yeah. This is Bruno. No. I say that I love nuts all the time and people laugh at me, but there are great source of fats and minerals and I need my fats and minerals. And he flexes. He and then he grabs his rolls on either side. He jiggles. Look at all these fats and minerals in here. He's like a really like thick, strong, like he's not cut at all. He's just big. Love it. I need it.

Anyways, you guys were saying Billy could have those nuts. Yeah. If you want, Bill. I'll save them for later. Good idea. Yeah. And Maggie leans in. All right. So with the mutiny and with the supposed destruction of our food stores, we now have a lot more to do in the four frost than I initially thought. Okay. Let's lay out a plan. Maybe a little bit. Just half out. So we just go in there swinging. I mean, no one on this ship is has any sort of legal authority.

So as long as we just stick to our guns, we should be fine. We'll be welcomed. Not welcomed as welcome as you can be in a port like that. Is there a chance that there could be people there that expect the pirates that were trying to kill us to show up with the clear water? Yeah, I suppose. But maybe that's just like what it's like to be in league with pirates. Yeah. Seems like a hazard of the job. Yeah. Okay. They come back and say the stuff.

Sometimes the people come back that they were just trying to kill. Okay. I mean, we'll deal with it when we get there. You know? But we so we need to repair the ship. We need to stock up and we need to get some more crew. Right. And all of that stuff is going to take money. We need money. Yeah, we need money. So I'm really going to need to rely on you three in a way that I was not expecting to need to. What you need to steal money for you or make money or what? Or something. I'll do whatever.

I make a lot of money. Tuck is like flexing his arms as he's saying this. People love giving me money for doing stuff like this. Flex. I suppose we could sell that creature. No. What? No. What? Griff? We promised we wouldn't. You promised what? That he would be free. Yeah. You promised the bird, the Griffin, that it would be free. No, we promised the monkey. Okay. That's fine.

Suppose it's not mine to decide what to do with but uh we could try and sell this gold nug yeah oh yeah yeah that might be a little risky that's probably you know what that's actually probably the best thing uh for it is I can see if I can set up a sale yeah uh mediate some kind of deal for the the forger's gold and then hopefully you know we'll be out of town before anybody realizes what it is yeah okay and uh unless there's anything else you guys want to do with folks at this dinner I can't think of anything all right then we cut to midday tomorrow as you sail northward upon the edge of the sea of graves you feel a chill a strengthening in the air and snow starts to fall and it's just a gray snowy sorry sorry uh and the snow starts to get thicker and thicker before you know it's time to go to bed before you're just kind of like shrouded in snow uh the gray waters of the sea lapping at the sides of the ship and you see buildings first you see smoke rising over the horizon oh what normal amounts of smoke okay oh no yeah it talks like I think something's wrong there's smoke in the distance oh it's chimneys never mind oh it's a normal amount of smoke okay uh and then you see buildings and you see islands can you describe the buildings for us the buildings are mostly wood construction some are just like a boat cut in half and then tipped up on its side some are just houses regular wooden houses made out of ships and then there's like collections of smaller shanties near the sides oh arcing wooden bridges connect stony islands and near the back on one of the largest rocks there's an old stone fort that rises up into the sky whoa oh cool how tall is it it's like a small military fort it's not huge but it looks like it is of actual like military construction and probably pretty old whoa who lives there I ask does anybody know nope Spout Lore yeah you can spell lord about it perfect opportunity lore and it's been here for a long time so I get my wisdom yeah history you'll so that means you'll know the history of it not oh that's fun that might help us in our heist of it yeah seven nice great uh okay so what you know about this is that it was a light guard fort from when the light guard had more influence like this far out when they used to patrol the coast but a few hundred years ago their influence in this area started waning and they abandoned the fort whoa and then it over time looks like pirates moved in and started building a town around it what drove them out uh nothing drove them out they just lost influence in this area and decided to you know move stuff and resources and people closer to the city yeah was that when farhan was in charge or I guess the torch you could connect some dots that it seems like that's about when it lines up oh so he took over and then maybe as the influence of the um demon of zealotry became stronger people started like being the wide ranges who felt it started doing like journeys to mecca sort of thing yeah they started going on pilgrimages totally uh yeah so then you know the light guard there was a point where they were like there's no reason for us to be out here yeah then they just abandoned the fort and they just left the fort and they just left the fort cool what if they're cool light guards shit in there oh yeah for sure uh yeah so you know you see boats surrounding the town like that there's it doesn't look like there's a real solid like this is where the dock is it's like people dock wherever they can there are boats anchored further out there are boats anchored further out that are lashed to other boats creating like little flotillas so just everybody is scrambling around trying to dock and you bring it in there are boats anchored further out that are lashed to other boats creating like little smaller boats like wheeling around you you know just it's a pretty busy midday sort of time how big is the clear water compared to all the other boats like do we draw attention coming in uh yeah there are boats that are your size or bigger okay like it's all sizes definitely a boat this size always draws attention yes so the city's a fair size then yeah there's it seems like the kind of place where a lot of people just stay on their boats people come come to shore for like you know bars or whatever sort of entertainment shit or to trade but uh yeah you pull in and the clear water is docked what do you do hmm when they're they're we're fine here for some reason I think I feel like really nervous about this like we have to state our business or somebody's going to come up here and question us or try and rob us but yeah you do see there's a there's a a middle-aged woman uh with like long gray hair standing on the dock near your ship looking at you with her arms crossed duck waves hi she nods do we have to talk to you before we get off she nods okay we're going to talk to you okay I'll come talk state your business oh we're here just to do repairs on the ship and uh maybe pick up some work all right what's your name taint none of your business all right well taint it's nice to meet you uh you can hear her drawing breath from where you're standing so there's a there's a mortgage fee standard mortgage fee you know what it what is it your size let's say 50 coins a day she made that up on the spot go for less ving yells from the helm and then I'm like I feel like you might have made that up on the spot oh do you well 50 coins a day uh what if I don't pay it then you can turn around and leave can I bargain with you a little bit depends what are you offering and then tuck flexes his biceps wow what are you offering here I don't know whatever you want to do you want to do with all of this are you offering to have sex with this lady oh what uh not explicitly no I'm offering any kind of strong boy work okay roll 2d6 plus charisma for a uh what's the word parlay uh 12 12 that's a pass okay I'll make it 20 coins a day and I will be calling on you decent all right you got a deal my friend welcome to port four frost all right it was good to meet you taint do not call me that what's your name then bethelda bethelda can I call you beth yeah all right call me beth okay cool and she wanders off back down the dock and she pulls out like a book as she's leaving and starts writing in it I got 20 coins a day I yell back up as zero geysers parting you hit both of them say sucker I'm trying to gauge the the vibe of pulling up to the city too I have no idea oh great we should discern realities about this place to see how fucked up yeah so billy billy's uh he's coming down from the his his perch up the mast and this is what he's seen when he discerned reality okay uh eight eight so you get one question what here is useful or valuable to me okay so you're scanning sort of like the collection of buildings directly off the dock and you see a building that's leaning towards you and you see a building that's leaning towards you and you see a building that's leaning all over the fucking place.

It's like the bottom level leans to the right, the next level leans to the left. It looks like it's been built up over many years. And there are people coming in and out. They've got food and drink in their hands. There's smoke pouring out of a ton of chimneys that are coming out of all different spots of it. And there is a name that you can't read, but there is some sort of animal on the sign, and it looks like a really raucous, cozy, fun-looking little pub. Is that a coyote? The hound.

The hound? Awesome. All right. What you get from that is that seems to be the place to be in Fort Frost. I'm getting a real Weasley home vibe. Yeah. Well, I'm into it. I want to go. I want to go look around. Hey, Perel, do you want to get some lunch? And you turn to look at Perel, and he's got a curled-up tricorner hat with a feather on it and a vest and, like, boots and, you know, flowing pants and a flowing shirt, and he goes, hell yeah, I do. Whoa. Okay. You don't look that bad, actually.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And he pulls an eye patch out of his pocket and puts it over one eye. There you go. There we go. You look great. Thank you. He's so clean compared to everyone else. Like, it's obvious he's in costume. If anybody says, hey, what's that guy's name? Call him my name. Tell him. Call him, tell him my name. Yes. Tell him my name. Should they call you by your name? My name's Colin, tell him my name. Yo, my name's Colum. Tell him my name. All right. Hey, Bing.

Yo. Tuck. What's up? Do you want to come to the pub thing there? Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know us. Okay. And you guys head to the pub. You're walking across the docks, passing ships from every corner of the fucking world. Ooh, I want to fucking discern realities about these ships. See if there's anything I recognize. Ooh. 26 plus. Plus wisdom. Holy shit. 12. Okay. Three questions. What here is useful or valuable to me? Is Allison here? Why would she be everywhere?

Yeah, maybe the book is here. Maybe the fanny pack is here. All the magi are here. We found a fanny pack. Oh, right. We were talking about the market. Mears. Is Mears here? Is Hither and Yon here? Is the hound Hither and Yon? Are you Mears? He is Mears. Oh, Sean's gone. I'm sorry. I just got so overwhelmed by my emotion. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What here is useful or valuable?

So, Tuck, what you notice is you're walking down the dock and you smell a very familiar smell for just a second. It smells like earthy, like herbs, kind of like an incense sort of smell. Oh. Yeah. The magi. Is it the magi? It smells very reminiscent of your time in McCall. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Wait. Follow your nose. Yeah. Can I follow my nose? No, you're not a bloodhound. Oh, God. Humans can't do that. Fuck. Okay. So, Tuck starts pushing people out of the way to get to higher ground.

Picking them up and smelling each one of them. Higher ground? You're on a dock. Yeah. They're flat. What about all the ships that are piled up around us? You want to go onto a random ship in a pirate port? Yeah. Okay, sure. Tuck is like, he's in hunt mode now. Wow. And nothing can stop him unless someone kills him. Here we go. You know, what are you rolling? I'm getting on a ship or just climbing up high to look around and see if I can see a medjay.

Yeah, you don't really have to roll to climb up a ship because you get up a ship like you pull yourself up over the side and there's a sword pointed at your throat. Hey, what's up? Get off my boat. Okay. See you later. Clap your hands off and go, all right, not that one, guys. Yeah, I didn't see anything up there. You didn't see anything? I didn't see anything. But so, yeah, you smell, I smell a smell here. Oh, God. You smell a smell of time gone by. Okay. You have two more questions.

Yeah, I have two more questions. So what here was useful or valuable to me was that smell. Uh, what here is, yeah, give me that list. Shit. Is this what the questions are now is trying to figure out what's going on with the ship? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What happened here recently? Oh, okay. Yeah, because the smell lingers from what happened. Yeah. So you are looking around and you're like, oh, what's that smell? Yeah. I smell a smell and you're blundering around that end of the pier. Your nose first.

Your nostrils flared. And Tuck can flare his nostrils really big because he, for a year, he was just doing like jaw and nose exercises because he was worried that his jaw was too fat. And then he just grew a beard because he couldn't do anything about it. It turned out those exercises don't do shit. But they did make his nose huge. So he's sniffing around the end of the pier and you find lashed behind that boat where the guy pointed a sword at your throat.

A rickety, a rickety, a rickety rowboat that has a bunch of like handprints of like paints of various colors like blues and reds and yellows. Wait, so it's got a bunch of blue handprints on it? It's got paint all over it? Yellow and red. Does anyone else know what this is? No, I don't remember the Magi doing any handprint magic stuff. Should we know what this is, Sean? I would say so. Say so. The boat that was following you was the Blue Period and it was painted and it was Oh.

It's the Blue Period people. Oh. So they already, they're already here. God, we're so bad at solving mysteries. Literally a boat covered in paint. So they are here with Ghost Route. I mean, okay, so what you would assume is that this is one of the rowboats from the Blue Period. Not necessarily that it was covered in paint during the escape but that it probably got paint on it at some point. Okay.

So it just, it just means that whoever was on the Blue Period and escaped has already arrived here somehow. And it's just a rowboat, right? Yeah. Like in a, like a, like a, just a shitty rowboat that a sailboat would carry with it. Can't be too many people. I want to sink it. I don't want them following us. Yeah. Cool. I don't want them to leave. Okay. Nice. So how's Billy going to sink this boat? Okay.

So he takes out one of his daggers and he starts like, like cutting a big shitty hole in the bottom. Okay. Give me a defy danger strength to get your little arms to force through the wood. You can do it, Billy. You got a nine. Oh, I'll aid by distracting people over there, making a scene at the other end of the dock. Nice. I got 12. Holy shit. Jesus Christ. Yeah. And Tuck is standing in front of him to like block people from seeing that he's vandalizing this boat.

And you saw a couple pretty good sized holes in the boat just. Yeah. And I undo the rope that's holding it to the pier. I'm like, nice. We got you now. We got you. That was great. We pull out. There's a quick cut to the entirety of the port and all of the dozens of ships and boats that are readily available with signs that say rides for sale. Space available. Billy going, got you now, fuckers. There's no way you could follow us now, you motherfucker. No way off.

And what's the scene that Ving is making look like? Oh, he's standing really still and pretending to be a statue and then when people walk by and throw him a coin that he moves and tips his hat and like starts moving. Yeah. And you know, you make like three coins doing that. It's pretty cool. Sick. I can't believe I just gave you three coins for no reason. Yeah, I guess it does. It's for flair. It's like, you know, a collection of silvers and coppers that amounts to three coins. Great.

And you have one question left. What's about to happen? If you, hmm, this was, this is more like dot connecting than it is you guys like seeing some new information. But if you got to a place on a shitty rickety piece of shit boat and then you knew that you had to get somewhere else, you would probably look for somebody to give you a ride. Oh, yeah. You'd probably try and hire a new ship. Okay.

And Billy having seen that whatever this pub is seems to be the place to be, that's probably where people do business in town. Fucking sick. Well, I'm getting real Mos Eisley vibe from this town. Yeah, it's definitely like an Arctic seaside Mos Eisley. Awesome. Yeah. So that's probably, you imagine that they're going to go probably get some food, something to eat, something to drink, some rest, and then find a new ride off. All right. Unless they have other business here.

That's the other caveat is if they have business here, then they'll be doing that. They could be from here and, and have a, a bunch of friends. Could be. We could be stepping into their turf. And much like Mos Eisley, this seems like the kind of place where like there's a certain criminal element where that community, it's like, it's always like a work conference. You know what I mean? You're always running into people that you know. All right. Yeah.

So that's kind of, that's the vibe that you get. They're probably going to head to that pub to get some business done, but you don't necessarily know who you're looking for. Just that they might smell like incense. Before we walk in, I want to help Perel disguise himself a bit. What do you mean? This is perfect. It's not bad, but the hat is going to give you away. And if these are the Medjay, they're going to know it's you. Oh. Oh. It's great. It's awesome. But maybe not for this.

I'm wondering, you know what? You guys probably got this under control. I should probably go back to the boat, right? Yeah. I'll bring you back a sandwich. I just, I forgot about the Medjay. So, and he takes his hat. I'm going to go back to the boat. You fill me in later. All right. Bon voyage. Bye. And he starts walking and then walks faster and then basically runs back to the clear water. I patch feather thing. Mustache flying behind him.

Because, you know, don't forget, he got fucking worked over by the Medjay. Right. So did Ving. Ving is a warrior. Gotcha. Perel wishes every day that he could turn people to goo again, but he can't. So, yeah, you guys are alone now on the dock. And are you heading to the pub? Do you think that's your plan? Oh, hell yeah. Let's go to the hound. Let's go. Okay. So as you walk off the pier, you like, you know, walk up some steps that are hewn into the rock.

And this is a place where like whatever grass there was or moss or whatever is long since gone. It's mostly carved out like stone plazas. And then like if there's any sort of plant life, it's like grow beds and shit like that. But this area right off the docks is the busiest. There's stalls set up. There's like covered market areas. Oh, cool. There's music. There's performers. Like it's a really busy vibe. I feel like Mardi Gras kind of. Yeah. Well, Mardi Gras is more celebratory.

This feels like a night market. Okay. You know, like a Richmond night market kind of thing. It's packed. There's lots of stuff going on, people buying and selling. Is there rides here? No, there's no rides, sadly. Paul's smile left so quickly. When we arrive at the front door of the Hound, Tuck is holding a cotton candy. A giant teddy bear. Yeah. So there's a dog carved out of wood on the sign and people are coming in and out. There's like balconies that people are hanging out on.

This place is busy. Can we get a table for three and a booster seat for Billy? Yeah. There's a server at the front or a host at the front who leads you right to a table right in front of you. Right in the middle. Unfortunately, it's really busy right now. So all the booths are taken. Is it by the bathroom? Gross. It is. Yeah. People are coming in and out of the like saloon style doors. Oh, and every time the door swings, it coughs bathroom smell at you. Gross.

So, what do you, you know, here you go here at the menu. It's happy hour right now. We got some pretty good deals and he gives Billy what looks like a kid's menu with a little cup of crayons. So, I'll be your server. My name is Augustine and can I start? Start you off with some drinks, maybe. Yeah. Can I get someone else go first? It takes me so long to read these menus. There's so many pages. May I have a cup of gravy? Cup of gravy. I'll do a miso soup and a side of sake.

Miso soup and I'm so sorry. We're out of the sake. Oh, just give me some miso soup and a ball of vodka. Ah, good choice, sir. Good choice. And you, sir, I could come back. If you want me to give you a minute, I could come back. No, I'll get, um, can I get, can I get a cup of weak sauce and your forever gravy? What's, uh, sorry, weak sauce? Oh, you guys don't have weak sauce. Uh, forever gravy. We got the, we've got the gravy. I'm bringing the gravy for your, for your boy here. Okay.

And, uh, can I just get a cup of alcohol? Any kind. Any kind. Yeah. Do you want our grog? Yeah, I'll get a grog. It's on special. We got a jug. It's only, uh, you know, two coins or whatever. Oh yeah. Give me a jug of grog. Okay. And I'll be right back. If, uh, if you want any food, my name is Augustine. Augustine. Thank you. And he hobbles off to, uh, to go get your drinks. Okay. And you guys are struck by the variety of figure around you.

All people from all different parts of the world really dastardly types. Some, uh, some foppish gentleman thieves, people in plate armor. Like it's, it's just packed full of people. Is there a band playing? Uh, there is. Yeah. Really like, classic like accordions and violins. Oh, fun. Yeah. Doing the whole, uh, pirate song thing. Do we see any like magi looking guys or guys that look like they would have been in the blue period? You're gonna have to roll for that. I'll, I'll discern if you want.

Yeah. All right. Two to six plus wisdom. Five. Fuck. Okay. Market point experience. I was trying to be cool and I started coloring on my, on my map, but I'm like looking around like really side eyeing everyone looking too suspicious. Yeah. And, uh, yeah, you see, there are some figures, uh, off in the corner that have like their hoods up.

There are actually a lot of people in this place that have their hoods up, but unfortunately, once you start looking super suspicious, everybody with a hood turns away from you. Dang it. And it could be anyway. There's like six, six tables with really shadowy figures. Yeah. I'm gonna slide off my, uh, booster seat. Yeah. He's really getting good at sliding in that thing. I'm gonna investigate closer. Okay. I'm gonna walk up to the, the biggest group in the corner. Mm-hmm. They look shady.

Mm-hmm. And I tug on one of them. Yeah. Excuse me. Excuse me. And the third time you tug, they go like, and they lean down. Whoa. And they have like huge tusks. Whoa. Oh my God. What do you want? Uh, I'm sorry. I think I got the wrong table. Okay. Yeah. And it's like, it's a, it's an orc with like scrimshot tusks and like missing one eye, like an eyelid drooping over an empty socket. Holy shit. I'm just looking for my uncle. He said he'd be here.

And he turns and he goes, boys, anyone of you this kid's uncle? And you look up and they're all orcs. Uh, nevermind. Sorry. They, they were also wearing cloaks. So I'll, I'll go look over there. Uh, yeah. So it's not those guys. That's for sure. This big group of people. Okay. So I go to a different group. Um, can I hear any of like the conversation as I walk around? This is going to be a discern realities. Yeah. Holy shit. Two. Snake eyes.

It doesn't matter that I have one wisdom because it's three. Yeah. I'm just going to go. I'm just going to go. I'm just going to go. I'm just going to go. I'm just going to go. I'm just going to go. I'm just going to go. I'm just going to go. I'm just going to go. Okay. So I think what this is, is you go to each table in turn and you know, without a shadow of a doubt that they are not here or they are at least not in this room.

If the blue, the crew from the blue period or whoever was on that ship came to this place, they're not in this main room. There's somewhere else in the building. Yeah. So I'm, I'm pulling on another robe. Blue period. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Me excuse me yes yeah hi you drop this what I give him uh my copper spoon ah thank you you're welcome this is um definitely my spoon okay uh and I'm like looking I'm looking for my uncle is he with you what does your uncle look like he's wearing a cape any other distinguishing features he is he's got a nose it's not too big uh his cheeks on his face are very full the ones on his butt are flat you say uh he's got a nose and there's a guy with a missing nose it's like not me his cheeks are very fat and there's a gaunt dude that's like not me either dang it uh he has a a beard and he's bald there's a guy with uh no facial hair and a huge head of hair that's like couldn't be me all right it was very I'll keep looking good luck my boy I'm so sorry to interrupt thank you for finding my family spoon no problem guys I got this spoon from this stupid kid he just gave it to me and they all clink uh different colored spoons together whoa what yeah weird right as you walk away they go spoon boy I want to know the spoon boys spoon boys for life anyway I go back to my booster seat I don't think they're here fuck damn and augustine walks up with your drinks all right here are your drinks thank you gravy gravy vodka miso soup thank you can I get you anything any sort of meals I have a favor um to ask you and he he you see down at the bottom of the menu it says favors yeah five coins okay what can I get for you here's your five coins okay I uh I want to use my connections yeah to see if uh if he knows if any med guy around or have been in town please nine uh so what is a seven to nine on connections um I have to settle for something close or it comes with strings attached okay I'll settle for something close settle for something close uh I okay well I can tell you this much uh I have heard tell of some folk that are bear a similarity to the kinds of people that you're looking for they may have been here but they aren't now tell you that much when were they here they were here earlier today oh reason yeah and I I I stood outside their room and they said something that was too quiet for me to hear unfortunately and it sounded a little something like this that's them magi for sure but I I got the idea that they were waiting for someone oh shit uh-oh should we check their room yeah that's what I was hoping for oh yes hell yeah awesome let's go to their room okay we do what uh augustine we're friends now right no oh well no okay ducky looks crestfallen and he slurps over and just starts drinking gravy too fast augustine that wasn't very nice I don't know any of you I thought we were friends man my name is fat billy this is my dad slash mom thing My dad slash brother.

Talk. Yeah. All right. Yes. My name's Augustine. Like I said. And you're our new friend. Okay. What's the room number, man? Yeah. We just want to see if they left any clues. It's very important to us. I really shouldn't be telling you. Here. I give him the last of my gold coin. Yeah. All right. I was going to tell you anyways, but I wanted to see if you'd give me any more money. Yeah. They're in room 401. Oh, sick. You have four floors in this shithole. So, yeah.

Don't tell anybody I told you that. But, you know, here's their key. They're in room 401. What? The lock. You got to jiggle it a little bit. You gave us the key? Yeah. You are our friend. Oh, there's nobody staying there now. Oh. Yeah. Oh, they were there. They left. I said. We'll go find clues. Has housekeeping been by? Housekeeping. Perfect. And he walks away. Housekeeping. And he grabs a guy by the shoulder. They said house. He is an obstetrician. Housekeeping.

So, now you guys got a key in room 401. Okay. Perfect. Let's head up. I chug my gravy. I'm so excited. I chug my gravy, too. And we're in a competition. Yeah. Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. Can we roll to see who finishes it first? Yeah. Constitution. Ten. Ten. Got to go again. Two more gravies. Two more gravies. Two more gravies. They slide down the bar. Thanks, Aspirella. Here we go. Seven. Twelve. What? Twelve? Yeah. Do you want to go best out of three? No, it's fine. You win. Fair and square.

Billy's just covered in gravy now. Just the whole front of him. Bing's just slowly sipping on miso soup. Puts a bottle of vodka in his satchel. Just holding it in two hands. Sniffing it like, mmm. So cozy. God, I love these people. Just gravy all over our faces. Faces and stomachs. Yeah. I'm standing like, I'm standing waiting for Bing and I've just got like a huge mustache of gravy. Full pirate's beard. Yeah. Tuck's whole beard is full of gravy. It's just sodden.

And you head out into the spot or the area where like the rooms begin and you start climbing the very rickety zigzaggy stairs. The inside you now see this place is made out of so many different. Oh, wow. Like one whole staircase you walk up just rocks back and forth as you're walking up it. Part of the stairs are a rope ladder with knots tied up. Yeah. You have to climb up it. Exactly. Man, none of this is to code. This sucks.

I mean, it's to the pirate code, which is put what you want wherever the fuck you want and don't let anyone tell you what to do. And studs have to be nine inches apart. That's the only rule. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you get to the fourth floor and there is the roof is like glass, like light comes in through the roof. That's wicked. Yeah.

And there are rooms all around. You hear voices, laughter, shouting, the whole spectrum of human emotion going on around you. Cool. And you see room 401. Should we try it? Really? Oh, smart. I hate those dice. I'm going to use these ones. Trap expert. Plus dexterity. That's six. Would anyone like to aid me? For sure. I'm going to aid by, um, oh yeah, I do have that sunstone torch. Okay. It is pretty dark up here. Yeah. Okay. Sunstone torch. Aid. Nice. Eight. Fuck yeah. Okay.

So, uh, is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? Uh, there is a trap. There is a trap here in that as you're approaching the door and you're like getting ready to do some, uh, thief expertise in, uh, you hear a thump from inside the room. What quality is thump? Uh, somebody moving around. And Tuck knocks on the door. Housekeeping. And you hear like a flurry of movement. Housekeeping. Now you don't hear anything. I hear you in there. Housekeeping. Housekeeping. Nothing.

God, I hope they don't know that there's no housekeeping in this hotel. Housekeeping. You don't hear anything. If I don't hear, if you don't say anything, I will come in. There's nothing. Oh, that's going. Okay. And Tuck's like, I'll block your guys' bodies. Cause I don't know. I feel like I'll be able to take whatever hit this is. He just opens the door and there is an empty room. Fuck. Discern realities. Okay. Yeah, totally. Just vacuuming. Vacuuming sounds. Vacuuming sounds. Eight. Eight.

So you get one question. Where the fuck is he? What's about to, what, what happened here recently? Okay. So you come into the room, pretty shitty room, couple beds, really thin, hay stuffed mattresses, you know, a shelf, a chest. Yeah. Tuck feels the sheets and he's like, these are like thread count, like 100. This sucks shit. You guys got to stay at the best Western by Wyndham hotels. They have. They have awesome sheets. The sexist spokesperson for the Wyndham hotels. Yeah.

The Wyndham hotels actually sponsors, spell Lord. Our podcast theoretically brought to you by Wyndham hotels. Um, and yeah, you see there's like dust on the ground. Like this is a dirty place for sure, but the curtain is pushed to the side and the window is slightly open. Tuck discerns realities. Okay. Yeah. At the window, right? Yeah. It's a different place. Yeah. The window. Uh, six plus. Wisdom. Wisdom. So I have six, uh, help. Yeah. Bill. Oh yes. Everybody's looking around.

Help me with your binoculars. Oh, fuck. Yeah. 10. Hell yeah. So you get one question. What should I be on the lookout for? Uh, so there is it, there's like, you know, the window opens into the air and then drops. There's like a stone cliff of the stone of the island. There are a couple buildings kind of off to the side. So whoever was here had to either drop. Down or climb up or be in a different room or whatever. Uh, but you see somebody running down the alley. Tuck jumps.

Oh, I think jumps to two huge figures. Jump out the fourth floor of this bill. I wouldn't have been worried for tuck is going to fucking die. We'll see about that. What do I roll? So you just taking it? Are you trying to angle towards something soft? I mean, sure. If there's something soft down, there's something soft down there. God, Vink, Jeff jumped too early. He is. I could possibly land on me. Uh, yeah. So who's going first? Tucker? I guess tuck said, I'm jumping.

So two to six was constitution. Doesn't sound like you're trying to do anything. So it's five plus three is eight. It's eight. Uh, yeah. You are going to take a debility. What? A whole debility? Dexterity. Oh, that's fine. I don't do any tech stuff anyway. Except chase people. Uh, you, you fall and you like, you know, kind of ping pong between the rock cliff and the building. You like slam through an awning and you land on your side and you feel your something in your like pop. Ah, fuck.

And it's a big, like your vision swims. You pass out for a second. Okay. I'm going to drink one of these wine would potion. Just pop it and start drinking. Yeah. I drink the whole thing. I'm pretty sure a healing potion can get rid of a debility. Yeah. Uh, just throw the empty bottle against the rocks. And Ving, what comes sailing down behind him? Uh, yeah. He's trying to like jump off the rock, jump off the house. Ting, ting, ting. That sounds like a light as a feather to me. Yeah. Dex.

I got a nine, nine. Okay. So what's a nine on light as a feather? Um, 10 plus. You do no problem. Seven to nine. Something goes wrong. GM tells you, uh, Billy is still in the room. That's fine. Go on with homie. I, I am of no help to you. Uh, and Ving, you like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Yeah. Right. And just land lightly on your feet next to talk. Who's pulling, pulling himself up off the ground, put yourself together, big boy. And then sprints by and chases down the guy.

And Tuck starts running behind him, huffing and puffing. And he's like, it's pretty cool how we both did kind of the same thing down that cliff in the building. Like back and forth. Like what we did it together. Ving is leading him out and running backwards, like listening to him to like kind of humor him. Oh God, how did I get winded so immediately? He's flashback chugging gravy. Like five minutes ago. Yeah. I drank three cups of gravy and just drank an entire bottle of shitty wine.

Uh, so this person has quite the lead on you. Okay. So, uh, in fact, they're like basically in one half a second, they're going to be out of sight. So what's your plan for tracking them down? I kind of want to light his feather up onto the little pieces of ship they're sticking out because it's a shittily made. So there's all these little knobs and footholds. Yeah.

And then jump up in the, in the air and gather whatever snow was falling into an owl shape around me with my element form and try and glide as far as I can to catch up with them. Hardcore. That's sick. Yeah. So do that. 2d6 plus dexterity for light as a feather. Okay. Dex light as feather. Nice. I got nine. Okay. Uh, something goes wrong. You can aid me by throwing me or something. Oh yeah. We could do an aid. Yeah.

Like where that thing where like you jump into my cradled hands and I jump off your face. I cradle my hands. And I'm planning on throwing you leaves off your forehead. Ow. Fuck. Sorry. 2d6 plus bond. Seven. Nice. So that makes it a 10. Great. So I get really high. I get, I was able to get high off a building and then jump up in the air. I'm going to try my elemental form, transmit my body into and bring snow around me and do an ass. No owl made out of snow. Hopefully I can get enough old seven.

So I get two hold two old. That's not bad. Yeah. So now you are a snow, owl made out of snow. Yeah. Like a snow owl glider. Pretty sick. Yeah. Wow. That's so cool. And people would just look up and see snow. People would look up and see an owl made out of snow. So make no mistake. Is it daytime or nighttime right now? Uh, I'm when I said, you said you guys got here. It was like midday. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So it's still kind of day moving into night, but is it like the streets are really narrow?

So it's very dark. Yeah. Down on the street level. It's definitely darker. There's like people in the window being like, Oh, what the fuck? Yeah. Buildings built really close together. You can build your building wherever you want to build it. So some of them are built just like over an alley on top of two buildings, kind of bridging them together, but not connected to those two buildings. Yeah. Okay. I'm above the person. I hope.

Uh, yeah, you will, you can, you know, you can use one of your hole to kind of track them down and you see this cloaked figure running through the twisty turny alleys. Okay. I'll drop my other hold to land on them. You just like dive bomb. Yeah. Basically as a snow owl. Yeah. As the owls coming down talons first and then the snow's like, and fades away and it's just him like, yeah. No, no drop. Yeah. And you hit them in the back and take them down to the ground.

The weight of your body here, like, and roll over and you're on top of them with your like arm on their chest. And you're looking into the face of sweet Caroline. What? What? What the fuck? She takes that opportunity of your shock to kind of flip kick you off of her. Like, over top of her body and she gets up and starts to run the other. No. Can I catch up? Because he, he slowed her down. She sees you barreling down the alley and she like darts to the side and leaps through like a window. Fuck.

And then tuck turns, just turns and runs through the wall. That is the same as the window that you jumped through. All right. Two D six plus strength. Strength. 10. Nice. From, from, from the inside, we cut to the inside of the building. We see Caroline like dive through an open window park or half a second later. Boom. As tuck comes bursting through it. You're just like in a house. You're in somebody's house and she's running. She dives over a table.

There's a pirate family, little pirate children, little tiny pirate, little baby hook hands. A birthday party, and she slides underneath the table, dodging the pirate cake. Tuck runs through the table. Happy birthday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. And she like opens the door and runs out onto the street. Chuck runs through the wall next to the door. The open door. Ving's taking chase too. Yeah, totally. Ving is behind. So sorry, so sorry. Like flipping gold, copper coins to everyone.

But sorry, sorry. Yeah. And she's, she runs like into a more crowded market area. We cut back to Billy. I am discerning realities around the room. Yeah. Discern realities. We're coming up on the kind of last clues that you can glean from this. One room. Yeah, but I'm good at scrubbing around. Oh yeah. Uh, nine. Perfect. So you get one question. What here is not what it appears to be.

Um, you are, as you so delicately put it, scrubbing around and you are on your hands and knees, which, which makes you like a foot tall, kind of rolling around on the ground, like a Roomba, looking for clues, a Klumba. Bumping into the corner. Yeah. I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, bumping into the corner. You find under the bed tucked into the frame. What looks like a folded piece of paper.

And it has a word on it. And you can't read, but the first letter sure looks a lot like a B. Okay. I tuck that way. I don't know what else to do. I don't know if they're coming back or if I should look for them. So do you just run back out of the building? Just runs out, though. I just picked him running. All right. Jumps out the window. Woo! Worked for everyone else. So Billy does try to leave through the window. He's being really careful, though. He's got one leg searching for something.

So slow. Just waving in the wind behind him. His little feet kicking down, trying to find a foot mold. Yeah. So I get down. Fine. It took a while. I'm like, oh. You hear off in the distance. Oh, no. That surprised me. So I fall off. The last six feet. Yeah. And I run towards it. I've got the note securely tucked away. You hear, I'm sorry. Sorry.

And if you run, you run back around the building and you see tuck charging through a crowd of people and you see the flapping gray hair of Ving behind him. Out of the way, people. You can't see who they're chasing, but you assume it's the same person. Okay. So I run after Ving. All right. Give me a defy danger dexterity to kind of move fast enough to get to them. Eleven. Fuck. Okay. Shit. Ving, very suddenly you feel a weight on one of your calves. Billy. Hi. Hey. I'm climbing up Ving.

Good catching up, bud. Thank you. I found a note. I need you to read it later. Oh. Okay. Just try and hold it in front of his face right now. And it's just like. I'll read it later. I'll read it later. I'll read it later. Okay. Tuck, you are quickly losing sight of Caroline. Oh, God. She's fast. She is fast. And I'm not. You're going to have to do something tricky, I think, if you want to stop her. Oh, can I throw? Can I throw a thing? Yeah, definitely. Okay. Okay. So.

Oh, I'm going to throw a dagger. Just try to slow her down. I won't. I don't want to kill her, though. Ving goes into like gimbal mode where he's just like he's running, but he keeps his top of his body. He's really still. He's totally still. He's in like steady cam mode. The other one's a one. Wow. Not good. So I think that this failure might mean that she escapes. Wait. Can I use fairy child? What does fairy child do? I can turn a failed roll into a seven to nine. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

So what are you trying to do with this dagger? Just hit her? Hit her in something non-lethal like her side. Not too deep. Non-lethal like her kidneys. Oh, shit. Like her butt, maybe? Yeah, her butt. You're trying to like trip her, like hit her in the leg or like. Hit her butt. Hit her butt. Okay. So you whip a dagger and it shoots out with the preternatural strength and speed that Billy has exhibited in the past. And it hits her in the butt. And she.

Yells and stumbles and like trips over some barrels. I think jumps over tuck. Okay. Yeah. Light as a feather. Yeah. Because she's like getting up and getting ready to move. Yeah. Nine. Okay. Oh, I can help you. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Billy jumps off so that you can do light as a feather easier. Oh, nice. I was going to throw you ahead of me so that you're there. You're like you, me, tuck. Well, I failed. Okay. Oh, fuck. So it's a seven to nine, which something goes wrong. Yeah. You tell me what?

You throw Billy and you're like sailing through the air with Billy just ahead of you. And you see Caroline pull the night. She grimaces as she pulls the dagger out of her butt and she sees Billy coming and she grabs him and she holds the knife to Billy. Whoa. And where do I land in all this? Right in front of her. Like you just poop right in front of her. Put the knife down. Back off. Put the boy down. I back off. I take one step back. And then tuck runs up at this point.

It's just like, Caroline, come back over here. Don't follow me. Wait, what are you doing? Don't follow me. Why? What are you doing? Threatening you. Put him down. Oh, while she's doing that, I'm going to apply fairy dust to put her to sleep. Okay. So I got it's plus charisma. Yeah. Got a five, seven. Okay. Seven to nine. Choose one. It affects a group of people. They stay asleep for a good amount of time. You can do it from a distance. Uh, they stay asleep for a good amount of time. Okay.

So what? You just like sneeze and a bunch of dust puffs up in her face. Yeah. I look up at her face. I sneeze into it. Yeah. A bunch of glittery dust poofs out of Billy and she goes off. Fuck. And she stumbles back and drops the knife, drops Billy. I grabbed the knife. I catch her. Yeah. And she just goes limp in your arms. I can relate. Uh, okay. Yeah. So sweet Caroline. I'd tie her up. Okay. Uh, we should probably take her back to the clear water. Try and figure out what the fuck's going on.

Yeah. I didn't want to search her, discern her reality. Can I like pat her down? See if she has anything of use on her. Yeah, totally. Do I need to discern reality? Yeah. I mean like you can search her, but yeah. Okay. I got, yeah. 11. 11. Okay. You get three questions. Uh, what here is valuable? Useful to me? Uh, you are. You're patting her down and, uh. We've probably taken her into an alleyway at this point. Yeah. She's not doing it in the middle of a fucking market.

She's like crying, screaming people like a direct line behind us. Right. Yeah. If Port Four Frost has any sort of, uh, militia or guard, they are going to be here very soon. Yeah. So you are patting her, uh, thing and you find something kind of stashed at the small of her back and, uh, you pull it out and it's wrapped in like a rough kind of suede cloth. Yeah. This is probably nothing. Throws it over his shoulder. Opens it. Uh, you open it and your mind for it.

Like you have a flashback and you just drop it on the ground. What the fuck? Oh my God. Uh, you guys see what looks like a yellowed bone tooth wrapped in a leather, like with a leather hand wrap, uh, and like carved on one side to have a sharp edge. That must be like the ceremony knife. Oh, fuck. Fuck. Shit. Bing, is this the knife that they used on you? It must be. I think so. It is. Oh my God. I wrap it. I, I grab it with the cloth. Mm-hmm. Stash it. Mm-hmm.

Sweet Caroline's a magi or she's working with them. Wait, Billy, what did that note say? I don't know. It's got a B on it though. Can you read it? I grab it out. These are really hard to identify. That's pretty good. Well, I read it. Is it just a piece of paper or is it an envelope? Uh, it's a folded up piece of paper. I unfold it. Uh, yeah. Okay. So it says, Billy, I kept my word as long as I could. Oh, it's the book guy. Oh no. Irk. Irk. Um, who's really in control here? Okay.

Something that you would remember is Irk, when you guys shook him down all those, uh, weeks ago or whatever, told you that they were contacted by an orc that like contracted them in tracking Bing down. Is Caroline a magi? Yeah. Okay. All you know is that, all you know is that no, that they worked for her. She, she hired them functionally. Wait, did she hire them to fuck up Bing? Yeah. That's what Irk said. Oh shit. Do you think Maggie has anything to do with this?

Is she being playing along with us? She might've been then. Who's really in control here? You said that. What's not, what, here's not what it appears to be. Um. And don't say it cloaks a robe. I think that it stands to reason. That your current situation is not exactly what you believe it is with Maggie pearls on the boat. Oh fuck. What does she wanted us off the boat so she could take Pearl? Oh my God. Fuck. And tuck throws Caroline on his back and starts running to the dock.

You run like through the crowd. You're, you're like pushing your way through the market. You see some like people in a, in a, a variety of uniform, all carrying weapons being like, Hey, pointing at you. No time. And you, uh, you run to the dock and you, even as you're approaching, you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And you get to the pier and you see the clear water sailing off. No. No. No. And that's where we're going to end it for this week.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz. Fuck. Playing Ving, the half elf druid, Paul Oppers. Billy, you sunk the wrong boat. Playing fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. I'm sorry. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. Thank you to, uh, all of our Imadrian, Imadrian Patreons to support us. This just keeps getting weirder. Thank you to all of our amazing Patreons to supporters all around the world.

If you want us to support us on Patreon and get hours and hours of bonus content, monthly live streams, including Q and A's and live games, uh, and a whole other whack of shit. Join us at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money, please. We're also online at Spout Lore. Most. Places. Catch you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry.

And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a rest. Resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I gladly Spout Lore.

Hey, Tuck here telling you to donate to speltlore.com slash money please or patreon.com slash speltmore for more of this. I'm doing an act out, but you can't see it. Below the table. Show me your hands right now. No, I'm still doing it. Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the light. The largest heart, best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round friends and listen close for the tale's about to start. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello. Hello there. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hi everyone. When last we left our heroes, they arrived at the pirate haven of Port Forefrost.

Upon the Forefrost Isles, a collection of shitty snowy rocks in the middle of the ocean connected via a bunch of ramshackle buildings and sitting below some sort of ancient light guard fort. Oh right, yeah, the fort. Mm-hmm. Pretty wicked vibe to this place in general. Mm-hmm. It's pretty cool. And who knows whether or not we're gonna see any more of it. Oh yeah. Upon docking, the party made a plan.

Maggie was going to deal with some repairs, getting some new crew, resupplying, while the three of them, plus Perel and then minus Perel, decided to track down some leads about who may or may not have been upon the Blue Period and why it had such a large store of ghost root on board.

So, upon arriving, on the actual docks, Tuck smelled an incense reminiscent of the Medjay of McCall, which led the gang on a chase to the Hound Inn, a sort of tavern slash pub slash hotel, containing all manner of folk. Some investigations led them to discover that folks matching the description of the Medjay had been staying in room 401.

They were slipped the key thanks to a very forthright serving staff, member, Argus, Augustine, who was more than happy to do you a favor because favors were literally on the menu here. Also more than happy to shit on his bar and their housekeeping services. Yeah, I mean, hey, welcome to Port Fort Frost. Nothing is clean unless you clean it. Yeah, that's what it said on the billboard that was out in the ocean, I guess. It's floating. Just a buoy with a billboard on it.

Nothing is clean unless you clean it. Nothing is clean unless you clean it. They entered the room just as someone apparently dove out the window. A chase was undertaken by Tuck and Ving while Billy scoured for clues, finding a note beneath the bed that he believed contained at some point the letter B. Tuck and Ving continued to chase this cloaked figure down the alleys of Port Fort Frost. Ving did some cool-ass snow owl body mech shit. So fucking cool. Love it.

Taking down the figure and revealing Sweet Caroline, the orc. The chase continued. Billy arrived through a knife. There was a standoff while Caroline held a knife to Billy's throat and said, leave me alone, let me go. Until Billy knocked her out with some fairy dust. And Ving, upon searching the body, found the knife that was used in the ritual that robbed him of his shapeshifting powers. Yeah. The party jumped to some conclusions, which turned out to be true.

Running to the pier and seeing, the clear water beginning to sail off into the distance. With Perel on it. With Perel still on board. Okay. And that is where we find ourselves now, right now. How far away is the boat? I just rip off one of my flaps, stuff it in the bottle of vodka that I took from the restaurant, light it on fire and throw it at the thing. Too far for that. It just ploops into the ocean. My tinctures. And I lean over, I touch my shoulder, I was like, that was a pretty good try.

Okay. They were close enough when I saw them, but then like, trying to tear and then stuff it in. Then who's gonna light? Who's gonna light? I went around all around the town square looking for a light. I don't smoke. I used to smoke. I don't smoke. Where's the light? If you just throw in the bottle right away, you might've hit it, but now it's too far away. And you hear some clamoring at the end of the pier as a bunch of people are shouting and rushing towards you. Oh shit, cops, scatter. Fuck.

Scatter means we go together somewhere. Yeah, I dive into a boat. I don't know. You just get on a boat. Can we hire the fastest boat? Oh, good idea. To follow them? Defy Danger Charisma. Okay. Nine. I'm gonna aid Tuck. There we go, yeah. Eight. Great. Okay, so that makes it a 10. I'm gonna say there's a boat literally pulling away. Like the boat is starting to move and they're pulling the gangplank up. And they're pretty close to you and they're like moving. Tuck. Tick, tick.

Starts to hulk right. Everybody get on this boat. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And he holds up his hands. This is a paying vessel. Okay. That's fine. I'll give you everything I have. You kidnapping her? Oh, right. I have Caroline over my shoulder. And I was like, does it matter? Kinda. 150 coins matter? 150 coins? Yeah, I'll give you 150 coins if you follow that boat over there. Come aboard. Okay. And then I fucking throw Caroline.

And the guy like just, oof, catches her and falls onto the deck. And I toss Billy up. Yeah, and Billy, whoo. And I throw Vig. And he does like, yeah, like Dirty Dancing style. Huck me, boy. And I jump. You're gonna roll? I'll roll. I don't give a shit. What is it plus? I guess strength probably. Okay. So five plus three is eight. Oof. You drop something. What is it? The… You drop something. You drop something. You drop something. You drop something. You drop something. You drop something.

You guys don't have much of anything anymore. The promissory note I was holding. Oh! What's it get? You drop the payment? Yeah, I was just like, I have a promissory note for 150 coins. He's like, these 150 coins don't matter. Oh. So yeah, it flitters out of your hand and flaps away on the wind. Oh, pay up. You're hanging on to like some lines off the side of the boat. We just won't tell them yet. Yeah. Hold them up. Yeah, Ving hauls you up. Okay. Thank you.

And then I point at the guy and I'm like, follow that boat. Quick. Well, I don't know. Give me a second. Give me a second. And he walks to the back of the boat where there's a group of people who look like some sort of unofficial militia or town guard shouting and waving. And a couple people fire crossbows and the guy ducks and he waves and he goes, see you later, fuckers. Who is this guy? Wait, who's that guy? Were they chasing you or were they chasing me?

Half dozen of one, 25 of the other or whatever the phrase is. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Well, you know, happy to be aboard. I'll take my payment now. 150 coins. Tuck is he like, he's like, all right, here we go. Put my hand in my pocket. You take out the 150 coins and I'm going to punch you in the face. Defy danger dexterity first. Okay. To even land this. Seven.

So you club him right in the face and he stumbles to the side and he comes back up and he comes back up with a backhand and just clips you in the jaw. Uh-huh. Roll a D6. Three. So he tags you for three damage. Can I grab a rope and tie it around the person's legs? Yeah, totally. Okay. Yeah. Nice. You can't see me do this. Mm-hmm. 13. Fuck. Fuck yeah. I'm so smooth. Billy invents a new knot. Yeah.

And he moves forward to hit tuck again and just whoop, doesn't realize both his legs are tied together and falls back up. He falls down onto his face. Oof. Get him. What the fuck are you doing? We're, uh, okay. I lost the money when we jumped on the boat. So I'm going to stuff you in the hold for the right now. Wait, what? I have crew members. It's not just me on this boat, but you, so you hear click, click, click, click, click, twang, twang, click, click. What's that?

You turn around and there are four people pointing crossbows at you. Okay. I know what this looks like, everyone. We were offered a ride so we're going to some miscommunication. We're just negotiating right now. But in the meantime, could you set the sails? Uh, Vink, while Billy's talking to him with his mayoral, like, body language, Vink dumps out the rest of the forager's gold.

He has the vial and it lumps out into, like, a seeming looking, like, gold and he's, like, holds it out, like, delicately and is like, if we can catch that boat, this lump of gold is yours. Nice. Nice. 2d6 plus charisma for a parlay. 10. Wow. Nice. Plus the 150 coins that we owe you still. We're good for it. We will honor it. Boss? Yeah, just, okay, alright, alright, get me up, get me up. Okay. And he starts forcing his self up. Billy, how do you untie this guy? I'm sorry, I'm trying.

Good God, what the fuck is this? I don't know, I was just… How'd you even… It's shaped in, like, a cat? Maybe? Yeah. It looks like something cool. I had stuff on my mind while I was doing this. It looks like a, it's kind of like a clove hitch, but you, like, it's not even tied, but I can't get it undone. I don't know what that, that word is, but yeah. Can you, can you untie it? Yeah, I'm doing it. And he watches you do it and goes, what the fuck? Okay, there you go. You're good.

Teach me that knot and you got yourself a deal. Yeah, I can do it again, probably. Oh, no. Stress, stress, stress. Okay. And he, uh, he gets himself up. Off the ground. And, uh. Is he like a, like, you know, like, this is the fastest boat that did the blah, blah, blah, parsecs in 10 seconds flat. Yeah, is this a Han Solo type? Yeah, is this the Millennium Falcon boat? He's Han Solo if Han Solo was, like, in his late 40s. Oh, cool. Like, he's got kind of graying dark hair.

He's got a bit of a gut on him. He's wearing the fantasy equivalent of, like, one of those fur-collared bomber jackets. Oh, yeah, he's Chewbacca today. Exactly. And he's just like, okay, okay, all right. Well, name's Oleander Dreyfus. Let's go catch that boat. Heck, yeah. What do you need us to do? Get out of the fucking way. Okay. I'm sorry. Uh, and he starts ordering people around and sails off. I guess he's trying to catch the Clearwater. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, so the Clearwater is definitely pulling ahead because this thing isn't ready, like, isn't going full speed yet. Uh-huh. So it's going to be a bit of a chase. Okay, until we get the sails up and under sail, things like, I have an idea, and he, he runs to the back of the boat, jumps off, and, uh, in the water, there becomes, like, a little hollow around him, water, and then it forms into, uh, like, a killer whale. Oh, cool.

An orca, and then he starts, like, really whipping his tail and starts nudging the boat forward. Mm-hmm. Okay, so 2d6 plus wisdom for an elemental form. Thank you. Nine. Nine. Okay, yeah, so you've got two hold and what you're going to spend one of them to kind of push the boat. Yeah, get it going as fast as we can. Yeah, and the boat starts picking up, and Oleander goes, whoa, what the fuck? All right, let's do it. And you're catching up on the clear water. What's your plan?

Um, right now, I'm with Caroline, and I'm wondering, is lightning in a bottle a move that I have to have fairy child for? Um, it probably should be, but no, it's not. It has, at least is written. So what are you trying to do? I want to pull a memory from Caroline while she's asleep. Whoa, cool. Yeah. Shit. Okay, yeah. So 2d6 plus, what, charisma? It says dexterity, oh, dexterity. Oh, right, because I was thinking, like, it's like a manipulative, like, yeah. Tell me, Caroline. 10. Fuck, yeah.

Okay. Yes. So what kind of memory are you trying to get out of Caroline? And what does the, like, physical memory look like as Billy's removing it? You know what? I open her eyes. Mm-hmm. She's like, she's obviously still asleep, and it's like, in her eyes, I can see. Oh, yeah. Like, coming in and out. Mm-hmm. Nice. Uh-huh. Right, yeah, I guess if it's, because if it's something that you don't want to, like, hold on to, you don't have to take it out, probably. Mm-hmm.

Okay, so what kind of memory are you trying to get? Like, honestly, anything about the Magi, or, like, basically any, like, what is she doing? Mm-hmm. I'm like, I've got, like, Caroline's face in my, between my hands, and I'm like, tell me! What are you doing? Okay, so you're looking through her eyes, and you see her, from her point of view, you're looking at things from her point of view, her perspective, and you see her talking to eggs, and, like, nodding and, like, shaking hands and planning.

Whoa. And you see her watching all of you arrive on the boat, and then you see you guys coming up and being like, there's a mutiny, we found smuggling, and you feel, like, strong frustration. Oh.

And then, uh, you see her trying to deal with the mutiny, and walking up to, like, one of the mutineers, like, the people that you know were a part of the initial conspiracy, because it's, like, while everything's popping off, and she sees them fighting with another member of the crew, and walks up and hits this guy so hard that she kills him. Like, she just, like, breaks his neck. Like, to, like, tie up loose ends kind of thing. That's the vibe that you get.

And, uh, you see the approaching, uh… When she found out that Billy had killed eggs. Relief. She would, and she told him that he did the, she did, he did the, he did the right thing. And then you see the four frost approaching, and you feel the, like, anticipation of going to finally finish something. And, uh, you see her, like, taking Maggie to the ground, basically. Oh, no! Shit! Yeah. Like, this is all a flash.

You're not getting the full picture, but the vibe that you're getting is, yes, she organized the, uh, the mutiny, and betrayed Maggie for some reason, and, uh, got the knife from the Medjay. Salty Caroline. But, unfortunately, because it's, like, such a quick flash, you don't understand the entirety of the why, just the, that, yes, she did it. Oh, man. I, yeah, I tell Tuck what I just saw. Fuck! Okay, so we have to get on that boat and save Maggie and Perel, then.

Unless, unless, what if Maggie's not on the ship? She, she might know. Who, Caroline? Yeah. Okay, I slap her to try to wake her up, like, fuck, shit! I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. How do I undo this, Caroline? Language, Billy. I'm sorry. And then I just smack Caroline in the face so hard. Why? And she wakes up to that and goes, and starts struggling immediately. And I, I grab her to hold her down.

Caroline, is Maggie on the boat right now? I'm not telling you anything. We know you fucking betrayed her. Is she on the boat? I don't care if you know. You're gonna have to kill me. Ving yells, kill her! Um, I have, do I have any of the, Truth serum? Yeah. Oh, fuck you do. Truth serum! Truth serum! Truth serum. Pull her down, Tuck. Yeah. I don't know, cover her nose. I have to get this in her mouth. Okay, I hold her kind of still. Okay, that's gonna take a defied interest rank. Okay.

Fuck, Caroline's so strong! But I'm stronger, 11. Wow. Yeah, and you like basically, you just hold her still and she's like, and her lips are like, you know, you can, her, her mouth isn't locked shut. It's like three minutes though. She's like, yeah, totally. She holds her breath for a long time. She's a Navy SEAL. But the second she like, opens her mouth, you grab the sides of her face and get like your fingers. Like a cat. Yeah, exactly. In her jaw, basically. Yeah.

Oh, and she fucking bites through her own lips. Oh, gee. And it hurts a lot. It does. Yeah. Orcs have crazy jaw strike. Yeah. Yeah. But I still get a couple drops in. You do. Yeah. All right, Caroline, is Maggie on the boat? No. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Is Perel on the boat? No. Fuck! Are they back on the island? Yes. Fuck! What are, who's got them? Where are they? The Medjay. And where are they? Tell me. You can see her like, fighting against the influence. Where are the Medjay? Where are they?

They're in the fort. Okay, cool. Fuck, I just wasted so much money. Oh, God. You hear Oleander behind you go, ha, ha, ha, ha. Okay, Caroline, why is that boat sailing away? Why? It's a trick. Oh, good trick. Shit. Actually worked pretty good. Yeah. I should turn this thing around. I'm turning the thing around. And yeah, the boat starts turning around and Oleander goes, whoa, oh, all right. And why are you working with the Medjay? They're a means to an end. To what end? To my end.

What do you mean? What are, what are, what are they doing for you? What are you getting out of this? It's my part to play. And she starts like coughing, like, trying to make herself feel better. I'm gonna puke. No. Are you, are you a Medjay? No. Are you in the dark guard? No. Are you a warlock? No. Are you, are you a wizard? She's coughing pretty bad. She's, she's like getting, having trouble getting words out. There seems to be something stuck in her throat. What the fuck?

Oh my God, she swallowed something. Oh my God, what is it? Check her mouth. Something stuck in her throat. I, I fished my fingers in there to try and get it out. I guess probably defying your dexterity. Oh. Ooh. Ooh. Four. Oh my God. Okay, so she, you try and get your fingers in her mouth and she's gnashing a lot and you're like, oh no, not, not, not, you pull them out just before she like slams down on your fingers and chomps them off. Caroline, I'm trying to help you.

And then she coughs up a mouthful of blood. Jesus. Oh my God. And then another. Oh my God. And then she turns her head to the side and coughs up one final mouthful of blood and something clinks out onto the deck. I grab it. It's an obsidian coin. Fuck, Billy, no, drop that. Okay. And, uh, sweet Caroline, the orc stops moving. Uh, can I see if she's still alive? Uh, you can check. This is like, if she is, she's not going to be for very much longer. Oh my God. What do we do?

What, what has happened? I don't know anything about what the mechanism of her death is. Something she's been lacerated in her throat by this coin. Uh, so being, having spent your hold, I assume, have you come back up onto the deck? Oh, yeah. I guess turning around. I'd spend, I'd spend that final hold to give us a final push between the things. Cause he hears the commotion. I want to come up. Yeah. And you see sweet Caroline, uh, on the deck, like blood spread out.

There's a coin lying on the ground. Billy's backing away. So much blood, like way too much. And yeah, like these are, I don't know if you guys have a method by which you might be able to save her. Oh shit. I still have a use of wine wood. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. I have so much wine wood and, uh, poultices. Uh, oh yeah. I mean like Ving, you're a healer. Like you might be able to give me a defy danger intelligence. Oh shit. Fuck. Oh yeah. Seven.

So the seven is if you use everything you have in terms of healing, wine wood poultices, all of it, you'll be able to stabilize her. She's definitely not going to be conscious for a while, maybe ever, but you'll be able to stop her from dying at least. It's worth it. Okay. So you, uh, you set to work. I set, I have six bottles. I have six bottles of wine wood. Oh yeah. Yeah. Pop all the lids. Great. You're using those mashing up herbs, like jamming them in her mouth.

I've pulled up water, like ocean water, using it as almost like a scope to go down into her throat and trying to like put, put wine wood in there in the water. Use it as a, uh, a method. Oh, you're turning like the water into a channel. Yeah. Like a scope with the wine wood too. To put it like directly on there. I kind of want you, to roll elemental mastery cause you're like using spiritual water to heal her basically. Oh God. Okay. Yep. Duty six plus constitution. Oh no. Five. Oh shit. Oh, six.

Oh, I help you. Yes. Billy. How's Billy helping? Um, I think I'm just like vibrating with like so much like energy right now. Cause I feel a lot of guilt. Mm-hmm. Maybe also, the memory thing, you're giving, you'd be giving, like filling in the gaps of what this is. Yeah. Like I'm showing you through like our link between Chamberlain's rings. Seven. Okay. Oh shit. Seven. Oh my God. You're welcome. Oh, the effect I desire comes to pass. Okay.

So you don't, I, I, I don't avoid paying nature's price and I don't retain control. Okay. Uh, so Oleander brings the boat in, like you weren't able to, you weren't out that long. So he, he, he's basically just alongside, he's talking to the militia people, like trying to calm everybody down while this happens. Just being like, there's, you just got to wait. There's something, there's something happening. Give them a minute. And it's not a minute. It's a long time.

Uh, you use everything you have in terms of your healing. This is nothing like you've ever seen before. You know that there's like physical damage, but there's something else. There's like a rending that's taken place inside her. But with the, the aid of the water spirits and the air spirits, you are able to bring a stability to her body. Her life force is very weak.

Like you can basically feel that she's barely hanging on, but you're able to stop whatever horrible damage was killing her from the inside and shore up whatever spiritual weaknesses were taking place that were allowing this to happen. And she falls into a fitful, uh, and deathly still sleep. She's stable. Barely. And the price that you pay and the control that you lose. What do we think that is? Uh, maybe, uh, Ving starts to have his health sapped. Like it's a balancing. Oh no.

I'm keeping her alive, but it's bringing me down. Yeah. It was long until we can figure out what's going on. It's like ET in that, flower pot. Totally. Yeah, totally. Uh, so how does that manifest in the moment? Uh, like I'm unable to stand. Oh, like you're just like, you're extremely weak. Yeah. Yeah. I have to be close to that. We have to maintain touch. Oh, cause you guys are sharing like one kind of spiritual ecosystem. It's almost like, yeah, like a boop boop. Like she's on the life.

He's her life support machine. Totally. Okay. Even Billy, like, cause I was like, I was holding onto thing. I can, I can, I can feel like so much being like, like sucked up. Oh yeah. This is classic thing. He gives almost too much. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Uh, so then you're standing there, you have Caroline basically in your arms and thing passes out on the deck. My God. And I say, I, as I pass out, like, don't let us part. Uh, fuck. Um, I, I tie their hands together.

Cause I don't know, what else do. And I just like, hold on to thing. We need, uh, we shouldn't move them. And I go to oleander and I'm like oleander being in Carolina dying. We need, I don't, we need a doctor. Yeah. Is there a healer on this Island? Yeah. Yeah. There should be. Okay. Can you go get them? I should be, but they're on vacation. I mean, it is kind of like, I hope, you know what I mean? Like as long as they haven't been called away. Uh, yeah. Okay.

I'll, I'll, I'll be back as soon as I can. You are, you're, you're welcome. Just stay as long as you need. Okay. Thanks, man. I appreciate it. And he like hops over the side of the boat and lands on the, on the deck without touching the gangplank. Cool. Ving says from asleep. Yeah, that was pretty bad. I was, he says, he goes, parkour. Oh, right. Cause I'm touching you. So I'm watching. Cause I'm like, that's sick. If Billy let, can Billy let go?

I can let go, but I feel like, like, I feel, I don't know. Like, am I helping? Billy? Isn't sure. Yeah. It just feels like the safest thing to do. It helping. It helping. It helping. But I, I can see, I can feel how much energy it's taking for Ving. It's like a river rushing through me in a way. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. Some of the moss up my arm is dying. Oh man. Oh shit. Uh, okay. I have a question. Mm-hmm. Can I try and use Bardic Lore, gods and their servant? Yeah.

Can you remind me how Bardic Lore works? When you first encounter, an important creature, location, or item, your call, covered, covered by your Bardic Lore, you ask the GM any one question about it. The GM will answer truthfully. The GM may then ask you what legend song or tale you heard that from. Mm-hmm. Uh, yeah. Go ahead and ask me a question about what's going on. Uh, okay. Yeah. What is going on with her and this coin? Yeah.

You, um, you think back on things that you studied, like in your time at the library about icons and demons, and possession, and you, I like that he was flipping a coin one night, like just like doing pushups, like, like one handed and flipping a coin. So I'm like, you know what that is, right? Yeah, exactly.

And like, you know, finding references, like vague references and text at the, at the library during late night studies, your conversations with Bara about the white coin that you have and how that interacted with the icon of ambition. You think what happened was that at some point, you know, someone did this to Korean and she has been possessed this whole time. Oh, whoa. This coin being inside her was how she became possessed. Oh shit.

The act of telling the truth about what she was up to cause the coin to expel itself from her and cut her in the process. So based on what you remember from, or like your experience, what was his name? The dwarf, uh, the ambition guy, the name, Helen guaranteed Corbin guaranteed Corbin. Yeah. Um, yeah. You think that, that whatever was possessing her, there might be that icon might still be there here, like in her. Yeah. Okay.

Like the forceful expulsion of the coin could be like the damage she sustained could be in connection to like the demon still being in there, but the coin being in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To escape right now. Okay. I'm going to Ving. Oh, fuck. They're tethered. Okay, so Tuck takes the coin that fell on the deck, and he takes TLC, and he wants to smash the coin just like he did with Guaranteed Corbin to try and trap the demon in it. Yeah.

Okay. How did you do this last time? Was it for the Blood God? I did use for the Blood God, yeah. All right. Zero wisdom. Fuck. Bye. Okay. So Tuck, you get ready to smash the coin in the way that you did last time, basically flicking it into the air and smashing it with the axe.

And you don't know why this happens, but in your slowed perception as you're watching this happen, you see the axe connect with the coin, you see it shatter, you see the fragments start to turn white, and then they all shoot towards you. Fuck! Oh, God. And they lodge themselves in you. Oh, my God. Like, in my body? Yeah. It hurts a lot. Like, birdshot? Yeah, exactly. Ow! And there's that same huge gust of wind, that howling of vacuum for a second until Tuck is driven, to his knees.

And then the wind's calm again. And Billy, you see this happen. This coin explodes and just shatters into Tuck. Oh, my God. Like, can you still see the bits? Yeah. Are the coin pieces black or are they white now? They're white. Do I take harm? Um, yeah. Definitely. I'd say roll a d10. Okay. That's a 10. 10. Oh, my God. Ow. Fuck. Okay, now we need two doctors. Shit. Billy is so scared. Um, I, uh, I'm afraid to let go of Ving, but I crawl over and I'm trying to pull Tuck towards Ving.

Tuck, can you come over here? Yeah, I can come over. I'm fine. No, you're not. No, it's fine. No, you're not. Just hold my hand. I'm fine. Just hold my hand. I'm holding your hand. Okay. I grab Ving's hand, too, and I'm just, like, waiting for this, like, healer to come, and I'm watching I'm watching the sky. Like, I'm, like, waiting for the sun to rise. Yeah, and but, like, it is basically night now. It's night, yeah. It's dark. I'm just like, fuck.

Lamps start to light all over the decks of the ships in the harbor. I, and while we're waiting for the healer, I keep telling Billy, I'm like, Billy, I'm fine. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. And Billy isn't saying anything. He's just, like, watching the sky. In the east? Yeah. Okay, so you hear, uh, hurried footsteps approaching, and Leander pops back up over the side of the boat, and coming up behind him is what looks like an eight-year-old child.

Pale, pale skin, hair in, like, a very complicated but practical looking bun, and long ears of an elf. Hi. Hi. Um, what's your name? I'm Bertog. I'm a healer. All right, okay. Well, this is my friend Ving, and um, and this is Tuck. Hey. Uh, Tuck, uh, shattered a black coin, and the pieces have been embedded in him. Yeah, I'm okay, though. No, he's not. But, but… Cough of blood. Oh. You're bleeding quite a lot. I know, but my, but Ving is dying, so you gotta help him. Yes, yes.

And, uh, Bertog kneels down on the ground and unrolls their implements, and, uh, just sets to work. Just… You don't really know what you're looking at, basically. Yeah, Billy's, like, trying to say stuff, but it looks like Bertog's got it. Yeah, Bertog looks younger than Billy. Yeah. Like, bigger, because they're an elf, but, uh, looks younger than Billy, which is odd. And they are doing something. They're running their hands over Ving, running their hands over Caroline. A Reiki?

Yeah, fuck, this is not gonna work. Ving says, Ving says, Ving says, Ving says, Ving says, Ving says, Ving says, fucking Doogie Howser doing Reiki. Get it as a doctor already. This is what's happening in Ving's head right now. How come nobody's looking at me? Hello? And, uh, they basically, um, it's something like, there was a a dark presence within this one as they move their hands over, uh, Caroline. And it attempted to enter this one, but it's gone now.! It's gone. It's gone. It's gone.

It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. Life force is keeping the other alive. But Ving can't let go. And I can feel that Ving's energy is leaving him too. Yes, that will need to be addressed. And they, uh, kind of pull their little legs up and sit cross-legged and basically they untie the rope that Billy tied their hands together with and hold each one of their hands and sit there with their hands like on each knee still for a while. Like, their breathing slows, their eyes close.

And they just are here for a while. And Oleander's kind of tapping his foot. Is this working? Is this, what's going on? I don't know. It looks, I mean, they know what they're doing. I'm really nervous. You don't happen to have, like, snacks on this boat, do you? Yeah, yeah, I do. I do. Um, are you guys, do you want to come? Do you want to let them do their thing in the and we'll go down? Have a, have a bite? I don't know. Can you just bring it up here? I don't want to leave. Okay, alright. Yeah.

I'm sorry, Oleander. It's fine. It's cool. It's alright. It's fine. I'll be right back. Oleander, I'm on a keto diet. Don't get me any carbs. Do I look like a guy that eats a lot of carbs and he slaps his gut? Yes, dude. Because I do. Below deck and comes back up with, uh, some food. There's meat that you don't have to, like, there is keto and he gives, uh, Tucky hands you a beer, like a bottle of beer. Thanks. He does that thing.

He's got two bottles in one hand and he flicks his heel up and kicks one and the cap pops off. Whoa. So cool. And he, uh, popped, he, like, nudges the cap off the other one because they both came off and he hands one to Billy. What are you doing as a child? I'm not allowed to drink this. You're a kid? Yeah. He reaches down and takes the beer from you. Sorry, I wasn't sure. We got a lot of weird folks around here. That's fine.

And he sits down and leans kind of against a bundle of ropes next to you two. So, uh, what do you do for a living? You know, what brings you here? I'm so bad at small talk. Hey, there's no small talk, kid. Only small people. Uh, and I guess you're pretty small, so that kind of… So it is small talk because I'm a small people. Yeah. Ah, you know, I do a little of this, I do a little of that. Here and there. For this and that. Like smuggling? Yeah, I'm a smuggler.

Uh, I don't really deal with a lot of, uh, any kind of gestures vaguely. Whatever this is. So, uh, were you here when some people were taken off that boat? Uh… Like, did you happen to see a red-haired lady and a bald, guy with, like, probably very, like, flamboyant clothes and a hat and I don't… He might have been… He might have had a mustache or not or an eye patch or not. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You saw it? Yeah, I did. Yeah. Who took them? It's just some folk. I don't know.

They kind of had a weird vibe about them. Like, what do you mean? What were they wearing? Real lean, mean-looking folks. Uh, tattoos. Uh, all sorts, you know. All shape sizes. Okay. Did you see which direction they went to? Didn't they… Who… What's… Didn't she say that they went to a fort? The fort? Yeah. Any points at the fort? I guess. I just… Oh, so nervous. I get it, kid. This is, uh… I have a kind of jovial energy about me right now, but I'm fucking terrified. Yeah, same.

I usually am pretty jovial, too, or whatever that means, but today has been a hard day. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, I hear that, and he hands you a beer and goes, well, I forgot. And he takes it, but… You have it. Uh, and Tuck at this point has propped himself up on, like, uh, like a crate that's behind him, and he's sitting up, and he's like, well, Leander, uh, I just want to tell you, straight up, you're being a pretty fucking stand-up dude right now. You know what? Call me Ollie.

Ollie, I'm sorry I punched you in the face when I thought I could not pay you. Do you think that you're the only person that has punched me in the face in lieu of payment? Because you're not. You're not even the first person to do that today. God, you're the coolest guy I've ever met, I think. So great, Ollie. How are you this effortlessly kind and cool? So cool. You know… Ving raises a silent thumbs up. Through this… Yes.

His hand just shakily raises, you know, you get to my age, you spend a lot of time around a lot of people that want to do a lot of harm, and you realize it is a hell of a lot easier to be kind. Let's drink to that. Yeah. For sure. And he hands you a beer. Stop giving my kid alcohol. No, Billy! It's just like for the tradition. I give it back. And he only clinks your bottle before. Also, halflings get drunk off dairy. Do they metabolize alcohol the same way?

I was gonna say he probably does nothing to Billy. It doesn't really do much to Billy. It's just honestly tastes bad. It does. It's just old wheat. Yeah. I think Tuck's like objection to it is just like, don't give my kid booze, man. You're right. I'm sorry. Yeah. What will people think? Yeah. What will people think? Just so much blood is leaking out of my chest still. And we cut to darkness. The infinite inky black of the mind. Bing, you're standing in an endless void, but you're not alone.

Hello? Hello? Hello? Who's that? Who are you? I'm Bing. I'm Bing. And as you introduce yourself, you use your true name. A figure resolves in front of you. It is the person that you have until recently known as Sweet Caroline. You're alive. Here. I guess. What do you know of what happened to you? I don't know. It's been so long. Since what? Since McCall. Since the library. Since servitude. What do you remember of that coin? I just remember my studies. I remember being approached by someone.

I remember being taken. I remember the coin, and then I don't remember much else. It was like I'd fallen asleep in a carriage, and I knew where I was going, but I couldn't see the road. What about you? What are you doing here? I'm keeping you alive. Huh. Why? I don't know you. Yeah, you do. And he puts his hand on her shoulder. And she looks down, thoughtfully, like, throws her brow. Oh. Come on. Let's go walk. And a scene resolves around you as you walk. What do you see? Her hometown.

Outskirts of her hometown. Her hometown is McCall. So you see sandstone buildings resolve around you. People pushing hand carts, loud, bustling, mercantile stalls, food sizzling, music playing. And you recognize this as, though the buildings are a little different, this is definitely a stepside. I haven't seen this place in feels like forever. When did you leave? I left when I was quite young to join the library. That's how it works. You go young. Yeah. They find kids.

Kids that have potential, need direction, and they bring them into the fold. Yeah, I know what it's like. And then Ving does the points to his eye, covers his mouth, open hand, symbol of the of the speakers of the silent word. And she doesn't react, but she nods. He does it again, like, I'm doing the thing. I remember. That I remember. You're not reacting. Yeah. What do you want to see here? I don't know. I guess I just wanted to see somewhere familiar. Wanted to see, yeah, home, I guess. Why?

Because I haven't had one for so long. I've been a prisoner in the one place that should have been mine, myself, my mind. And it wasn't mine for I don't even know how long. It was like years, months, decades, centuries. Look at your hands. She does. Her, like, the strong, like, gray skin, like, veins just bulging on the back of her hands. How long has it been since you've looked at these hands? Forty years. Forty years. Hmm. That's not so long, I guess. That's pretty fucking long. Hmm.

What about you? How old am I? When's the last time you were home? And the scene changes around you. What do you see? I see, uh, old sheer. The ice flows moving in the distance. Mm-hmm. People piloting, like, long boats and canoes. Yeah. There, there's, like, um, shops and houses on the flows and people pull them along the shore. It's been longer than that for me. Do you miss it?

Uh, he sees this, uh, a woman, uh, come out of a house, an older woman, with, like, a fur hide and, like, hang it over this, this little, the entranceway. The, the timber that's holding on its way and then grab a huge stick and just start whacking this thing. So what does she, like, whew! Ah! Hacking a coffin. I miss, I miss, I miss some of it. I miss the parts that aren't there anymore. I miss what it represents to me. But, I have a new home. And then we're back standing over our bodies. Mmm.

And you see, uh, kneeled on the ground in front of you, uh, a young, young elf holding both of your hands. You see Tuck and Billy sitting with Oleander in silence, basically, right now. You haven't lost everything. You're here. Yourself is here. You found yourself again. And, uh, from where they're kneeling, Vertog looks up and says, he's right, you know. There's still time. And she looks down at her body and looks at Vertog and looks at you. Yeah.

He looks down at, at the body, at the two of them lying there and down at Vertog and he, he says, you've done, you've, you've, you've, you've done a lot. You've fought a lot. You don't have to do it anymore. You know that. You can go back to the beginning. You can go back home. He points, like, down the, down the dark way, off the distance, step side, hustle, bustle, memories, back, go be in your bliss.

But, but, even though you didn't have control over what you were doing, there were still reasons that led you to be the person that you are now, here. If you want to find out what those reasons are and why you're still here, then lie down with me. Lay with me. And she looks down at her body and looks out into the darkness and you can hear the laughing, singing voices of the step side market. And you can hear, like, wind blowing behind Ving as he's like, it's up to you.

And he slowly lies down where the place of his body is. Mm-hmm. And suddenly, you're looking at the night sky. And you're like, okay. And you hear movement next to you as Corrine pushes herself up on an elbow. Ving. You okay? Yeah. I'm okay. Are you okay? Yeah. Why do you even ask? I'm totally fine. You look like you've been shot by many arrows all at once. He is not okay. Don't listen to him, Ving. Are you okay? That must have been really scary. It was scary, but I'm fine. I'm just, I hug you.

I'm so glad you're okay. Have you been drinking fucking beer? What? Have you been letting him drink fucking beer again? No. And Oleander goes, tuck points at Oleander. No, no, no. Oleander goes, well, I think I'm gonna turn in. That guy gave him beer. I tried to stop him. Okay. I only had a sip because. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. And, uh. Hey, sweet Caroline. She holds up a hand. Please call me Corrine. Okay. And she nods at you. Hi, I'm Tuck. Hi, I'm, I'm Billy.

You tried to kill us a little while ago. Yeah. Sorry about the truth potion. Million miles away now. Oh, that's good. Well, all's well that ends well. Tuck tries to stand up. Slits, falls in his own blood. Vertog walks up to you and puts a hand on your shoulder and just guides you back down to the deck. Okay, cool. Thanks. I'm just gonna lay down here for a second. Totally cool time. And we're all having a great time right now and it's good for everyone. And we're all having the best time.

Just like me. Totally cool. Winewood. We need winewood. We cut forward. It takes a long time for people to get Tuck to this clinic. Yeah. We have to take, like, everyone has to take a limb. And he's kind of fighting. Yeah, yeah, totally. Still very, very strong. I'm fine. Why are you being like this? Tuck, you're being such a bad boy. This is a bad example. You tell me all the time, oh, just let people take care of you. And then when it's your turn, you don't let anyone take care of you.

I'm tired. You're so heavy. Billy's saying this sitting on my chest while seven other people are carrying me. Look at these people are sweating. They're sweating. And you are taken through town down some twist. The alleys to a very cramped clinic in an alley deeper into Port Four Frost. Everybody has to, like, basically pivot, tuck into the doorway. Like, it's a lot of, you know, when you have a couch and you're like, well, I got to angle the arm around this door so it fits.

Flip them up on and a bunch of blood blush. Sideways, sideways. We're going to do it sideways. And then they flip me up and then through. You got to walk them. Walk them. And you get laid on this, like, cot that barely holds your weight. And there are, like, dried herbs of all kinds hanging from the ceiling. Jars and bottles of various onions. I'd like to take the pieces of the coin out. Tweezer them out. Oh, Vink doesn't. He's not really with it. Is he awake enough?

Yeah, well, you're very weak. Like, you're going to need a bit of rest, which is troubling because you know that Maggie and Perel are in the fort. Oh, right. Fuck. Bertog, keep the coin pieces, please. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm not certain that I'm able to remove these. Oh, you're like a healer. He does. And Bertog holds up their hands. So fucking rude. Hold on a moment. This motherfucker is trying to teach me about healing.

What I mean is, from a perspective of metaphysical health and balance, it might be a bad idea to remove these. Why? There's some reason for some kind of resistance. The demon's gone into Tuck. It's trying to. I can't say for sure, but if I remove these, I feel it would be all but assured. I wrap my saffron rope around Tuck, like around his shoulders and like a nice, around his armpits and around the neck and around the waist. Nice. Sick. Cool shirt, man. And I go, It's getting delirious.

I go, no, it's fine. The coins, the coins are white. The coin pieces are white. It means the demons in the coin pieces trapped in the coin pieces were totally fine. The coin pieces are in you. Just don't, don't take it out. There is absolutely a precedent set for this kind of situation and we know for sure I'm fine. Speaking of which, can I use that Spout Lore about the thing that nobody knows about? Would I Spout Lore about a thing that nobody knows about? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can.

All right. Spout Lore. What's happening to me? Well, that's a three. So, totally fucking failed. Plus, plus what is it? Plus one. And then, but I also have a fucking minus one intelligence so we're back down to three. So, nothing you do is gonna help. Yeah. Nothing. And I think the only failure that we're gonna do right now is that you have no fucking idea what this is gonna do to you. Yeah. No clue at all. And then, yeah, and Tuck like grabs Vertog's hand.

And then grabs Ving's hand and he pulls them both in close and he's like, I don't know what's going on at all right now. Yeah, we know. We know. I'm aware. I have no Tuck. Information. Tuck, you don't have to know. Okay. You don't have to know. Thanks. Why don't you get some sleep? No, we can't. We gotta go save Perel. And she puts a hand to the side of your head. No. Whoop. Fuck. You're asleep. Tuck slumps. And the cop breaks and he slides off the back of it. Whoa, whoa. Just leave him.

Just leave him. This is better somehow, I think. It's time for you all to get some rest. And here. I'm not resting with him like this. There's nothing more that you can do. I'll stand by his side. Very well. Or perhaps, and they hold their hand out and take your hand, sleep. And you can sleep. And you fall asleep. I'll put myself to bed. It's fine. Very well. Here, make sure you, make sure you have a little bit of this.

And they walk over to like a glass decanter with some sort of pale pinky red liquid in it. Crush a bunch of herbs in it, pour it into a glass and give it to you. What is it? It's just a peeling onion. Just drink it. A healing onion? Go to sleep. I thought I put you to sleep. What? I am strong. It's, it's, it's good. It's good for you. What does it do? I, I, they told me never to put weird things in my mouth. It rejuvenates body and mind. That's all. Seems suspicious. I, I have no reason.

I take, took a sacred vow in the groves of my home. Totally. I'm going to sleep on the roof. Very well. I can't, I'm not going to stop you. That's my favorite Billy line to date me. All right. Good night. Thank you. The vibe of this was like rich kid interacting with total trash kid. It rejuvenates body and mind. Cool. I'm going to sleep on the roof. Fuck you. Also rejuvenates my mind. I'm going to go sleep in the empty dot pool. There's a bunch of frogs in there.

I'm really proud of Billy right now. Yeah, me too. I'm unconscious. Me too. So, Billy, you're on the roof. Yeah. You're kind of in between two taller buildings. Like there's the walls, the buildings on either side of you. And then of course, the alley across the alley is pretty tight, but you can see, you know, the night sky above you. I can't wait for the sun to come up. I feel like I've let down my friends. Why? Why? Yeah. Who am I talking to? Sean?

There is a little figure that looks to be made of chimney smoke sitting on a pipe nearby. I feel like I let them down because I should be able to do these things. I should be able to help them when things are hard. What's the point of being so old and knowing so much and not being able to use any of it? Well, I don't, I don't know if, if the point is just because you weren't able to do something didn't mean that you didn't try to. Trying and failing is not the same as doing nothing. I guess.

It just feels bad. All my friends are in trouble and I'm laying on a roof waiting for the sun to come up. I just… Is there anything that you can do right now that would help? Right this second? No. You know what's better? What? Being there for when you can. Okay. Thanks, chimney smoke. No problem. And they tip backwards into the chimney they're sitting on the edge of and they're gone. Okay. Yeah, I just, I don't sleep. I just lay there waiting.

And Billy, you're laying there on the roof as the sky starts to lighten above you and you feel cutting through the jagged alleys of Port Fort Frost. The first rays of the day's sun touch your skin. Finally. Go ahead and roll your fairy child. Yeah. Yes. Oh my God. Holy shit. Eleven. Wow. Woohoo. So that's what? Five hold? I get five hold. Okay. Remember that. Billy's so excited. He slips down the roof and scurries up into the window into the clinic.

And you can see, apparently, hours have passed. Like, it has been basically the whole night. It's morning now. And Tuck and Ving, you're both awake and you basically wake to Vertog pressing cups of some sort of potion-like thing into your hands. Drink this. What is it? Drink it. What is it? Just drink it and I'll tell you. Tuck slams it. And you feel a very familiar rejuvenating kind of buzz through your body. Ving's drinking it like a wine trying to get all the tasting notes out of it. Yeah.

There's definitely some sort of literal healing potion in here. And then herbs that you're familiar with in different kinds of healing salves and tinctures. Ooh, yarrow? Yep. There's yarrow in there. There's arrowwood. You might think yarrow is just arrowwood with a Y on it, isn't it? But it's not. It's a different plant that is original. Shauna, her creation, do not steal. Most importantly, you feel a little bit of energy return to your bodies. Not a ton, but some.

Corrine is very groggily sipping the tincture. And Billy clambers through a window. Morning, everyone. Hey, Billy. Hi. You're awake. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. We're awake. Where have you been? Oh, just up on the roof. Oh, yeah. Classic Billy. Thanks. Cleaning your mind and your body? Yeah. Hell yeah. I feel good. I'll drink that stuff. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. And I gulp it down. Oh, pretty good. Gulp, gulp, gulp. Billy is just full of beans this morning.

And you hear a and Oleander shambles into the room. Okay. Hey. Hey. How's everybody feeling? Ole. Ole, ole, ole, ole. Ah, you're fine. You were at the hound last night. Weren't you a old dog? Oh, yeah. I went to. I had a crazy night at the hound. You better believe it. I was there all night getting blasted. Yeah? Oh, yeah. What happened? And I went there and I was drinking, played some cards, won a bunch of money, then lost it. All in the same night.

You know how it is for an old scallywag like me. And you see Vertog walk into the room behind Oleander and go shake their head gently like, no, he didn't leave. He's showing him like sleeping with a candle beside him. He's got like love and lust novel on his chest. Like in the waiting room. Yeah. That's cute.

Got his coat like over top of him like a blanket, you know, that kind of shit curled up in a chair, trying to sleep in a chair that should not be slept in and goes, all right, so what's the move? Where's the coin? What coin? I told you to save the coin. What coin? And he points at Tuck and he goes, there it is. It's still in his chest. Yeah. And Vertog nods and is like, as I said, removing this coin is, it's a bad idea. Yeah. Um, cool. What can we do about it? Keep an eye on it.

Make sure that the, with the, with the tinctures and they're looking like really closely. They're like examining Tuck's chest. Seems that the wounds are closing up with the coin inside. Are they exposed? There are like bits, like you can basically see like chips of white in Tuck's chest. That's sick. Does it look cool? Should I start wearing a shirt? No, it looks great. Um, Vertog, should I start wearing a shirt? He goes through like a smash cut of him trying different shirts. Vertog? Yeah. Dr.

Vertog. Are my, are my friends ready to go? Ah, I suppose. I mean, rest is never a bad thing, but if you have places to be, I mean, that's up to you. I am a healer. I'm not a jailer. We gotta go get Perel and Maggie. We have to find them. Yeah. Here, I want to give this to you. And he gives them a jar of a jar of yellow powder. That's stardust. Oh, stardust. Yeah. I had it for a long time ago.

From the, uh, from the cup that had like random, I think you can do more with this than I could ever do. And they, they snatch it out of your hands almost like, and for that second, they look so much like an eight year old kid. Just snatch it out of your hand and look at it with wide eyes. Wow. And start like tipping the jar back and forth, watching the powder move. Wow. I will get much use out of this. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Please.

If you need any further treatment, return here as soon as possible. And also if anything happens with this and they sort of like draw a circle in the air around tuck, please return as soon as possible. Okay. Thank you. Be safe. There's a double thumbs up as he gets wheeled out in a wheelchair.

There Oli do you want to break into a A fucking Fort or a cage or something Yeah and fuck up some magi You know what I don't want to I have to Yeah Oli Oli Oli Okay I think that's where we're going to end it for this week I'm your game master Sean O'Hara Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome The Barbarian Abdulaziz Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Thank you to Aaron Reid The incomparable Unsurmountable He cannot be surmounted Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music Look up Spell Lord on Soundcloud For all of the original music featured in the show Thank you to all of our Amazing Patreon supporters Around the world if you want to support us on Patreon and get access to a ton Of bonus content including a whole Bonus campaign set in the Highspear Mall and featuring the Cooltree Kids Monthly live streams Including Q&A's and live games And a whole other Whack-a-shit gift boxes Postcards, merch, a ton of stuff Check us out at patreon.com Or spelllord.com We're also on the internet At Spell Lord most places And we'll see you next time There's a ton of fun And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly spell dawn Thanks for watching!

Spout Lore is made possible by contributions from our listeners. Listeners like you. If you'd like to support us, go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore. Thank you. Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore If they're paying them, that's probably why. Okay. Hmm. This is an opportunity for a dress up as rich captains. Friend to friend. We're new pals.

You might want to plan a little bit. These people are no joke. Do they like control the whole town? They control the town. They control a lot of the fleets that go out. They control everything. So you're telling us they're the mayor. I guess. We step aside to Billy. Yeah. So this is like, this is, yeah, I guess they are kind of collectively the mayor, but like they all individually have different captains that are loyal to them.

And when it's necessary, they can kind of call up a fleet that hasn't happened in a long time though. Does Tuck know any famous captains? Tales of the Seas kind of captain move? Yeah. I would like to use my bardic expert on histories or wait, maybe legends of guitar heroes past. Uh, yeah, that would probably be more accurate. Yeah. A famous. You don't have to roll again. Captain right. Yeah. I don't have to roll for this. It's a question you get to ask.

Tell me about a famous captain that might impress these guys if we worked for him or something. A famous captain. Yeah. Um, there is a, she doesn't come around here much cause she's sort of like a, a maverick. She's always at sea. She, she hits a lot of different places, but she's got a very theatrical flair to her. Uh, her name is Victoria LeBlanc. And, uh, she is the captain of a ship called the white night and she likes to hit like military ships.

That's kind of her thing is that she likes to go around and she likes to really spit in the eye of like the authority on the sea. And, uh, the captain's council has been trying to get her to join for years. Oh, but she's like a bit of like an anarchist or something or like I, I, no one, no one owns me. Yeah. The anarchist amongst the pirate anarchist. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, yeah, we're pirates. Why would we, why do we have a council? Why do we have rules? Like we're out here for ourselves.

Yeah. Oh, I have an idea. Yeah. Billy. Vink. Yes. Go on. Ollie. What if we got Corrine to pretend to be Victoria LeBlanc? They know what she looks like. Fucking shit. Ollie, uh, says, why don't you just wait until it's dark and sneak in? I mean, I didn't want to like suggest it because it's like after my bedtime and they don't usually like if I stay up too late. Uh, yeah, you could just wait until it's dark and then slip over the wall or something. But how, like how intense are the defenses?

I, that's a good idea. I think we should like scout it. Yeah. Are we all going? I think we could all go. Yeah. Yeah. We could take like all three sides of the fort. Yeah. We could each do a scout. Yeah. All right. Okay. Okay. So we head to the fort. All right. I like that. This is all we needed the karaoke room for. We paid for an hour. We should probably sing some songs.

So, uh, yeah, the fort is like, you know, up the hill from town sitting on the, uh, the elk on outcropping of rock looking over the ocean high walls. There's a center keep in sort of a McCollin style, uh, that goes up, say four stories with, uh, what looks like a big. Old ceremonial brazier on the top. Okay. Ooh. Hmm. Cool. Is it lit? It's not lit right now. Is there anything higher than the fort on this island? No, there's not. Okay. That makes sense.

And that is all I'm going to tell you without you rolling. Okay. I'll take the east side. Okay. Yeah. Cool. Where'd you learn about the east? Um, just from like, you know, my time on the ships. The good old days. Yeah. It was cut to Billy on a ship being like, no, no, no. The east side of the ship. The east. I also, uh, failed that role. Spectacular. My scout lore, uh, got four and it doesn't matter what my modifier is. It does not. Okay.

So the failure that you're going to get is you're kind of looking at the wall from the east side and you see there are people kind of patrolling the walls here and there, but they all look like pretty normal pirate folk. But there's one figure that stands out to you. They're wrapped against the cold. It looks like they have very like layered baggy robes and then a wrap around the bottom half of their face and a wrap around their head just so their eyes are exposed. Okay.

They're wearing goggles and they have something over their shoulder that looks very unusual. Like a weapon? Yeah. A weapon of some kind, but you can't get a good look at it. It's probably because I'm hiding in this thorny bush. There's a really nice bush beside you. I should have went in the other one. I have so many scratches. Just covered in smashed berries as you try and climb out and cuts. Yeah.

So Billy just learns that there's a unusual looking figure patrolling the wall, but nothing of value besides that. Okay. Uh, I also want to look at the wall. What do I roll? Uh, 2d6 plus wisdom for discern realities. All right. Let's fucking look at this fort. Piece of shit. Give me a break. Give it to me. 12. Okay. Whoa. You got the good bush. I got two sixes. You guys are all in different bushes. Yeah. Like three bushes next to each other. Dude, Tuck always gets the good bush.

Man, we really should have split up. We're all like, all right, let's all take a different side of the fort. You're taking east, you're taking north, and I'm going to take the south side. And we all didn't know what direction was what, so we're all in adjacent bushes. I see a guy. I see a guy with a gun. I see a guy with a staff, too. Imagine if Billy's looking around. He's like, there's a big figure in a bush watching. That's so funny. I'll see. This is going to be tough. This could be anybody.

Yeah. Okay. So you get three questions. All right. What here is useful or valuable to me? Okay. You see that the wall, though tall and foreboding, hasn't been very well. Maintained from like a masonry perspective. So there are a lot of crumbled out chunks and old broken bits that would be decent handholds if you wanted to climb over the wall. Oh, yeah. Just the shittiest stone. Mason's pirates are probably got one of those voluntary masons. Yeah, exactly. Like a free mason.

But there's a ton of them. A secret society of volunteers. A bunch of volunteer stone workers. Just as to give you a sense of how much better Paul is at wordplay than I am. I was going to say, yeah, one of those masonry co-op students. Pretty good. Okay. So that's what here is useful or valuable. What should I be on the lookout for? I would say you spend some time, like a good amount of time throughout the next few hours watching people on the walls. And you…

See that this place definitely has like patrols, but it's nothing so overwhelming that you don't think you would be able to take them at all. Most of them are armed with crossbows and swords at their sides. And they don't look like they're terribly well trained with the exception of that weird wrapped up figure. So that makes you think that that person isn't a part of whatever organization. Like they're not probably friendly. They're not part of the regular guard.

Well, then who's really in control here? You keep watching this robed figure that keeps popping up and they're standing on one of the ramparts watching and they turn as you hear gently somebody call out to them. And the person approaching them is very clearly Urk, the Magi. What? What? Oh, no. Oh, my God. That's… Tuck actually does that. And Billy in the two bushes over is like, that bush is coughing again. I'm watching the bush intently. Like, should I warn the others?

That's what your failure was that you were just watching my bush. That's so funny. I was watching the wall and the bush was moving. I was like, hold on. Movement to my right. Thought you could get away from me. And I know it's not Tuck or Ving because they're taking the other side. Yeah. So that's what you learn is that the Magi are here. And… And Urk is here specifically. Urk is here. But Urk wrote the letter to Billy where he was like, I kept my promise as long as I could.

And Billy hasn't gotten an indication that he broke his promise. So maybe he's just done a really good job of not telling them what he's up to. Oh, my God. We need to approach that Urk. Like, I know whenever I introduce a character like Urk, they're usually bumbling idiots. But like, maybe he's just been able to keep it under wraps. Oh. Impressive. Oh, my God. Cool. Or maybe he found a way around the oath. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very possible.

Is there enough time to spend in this place to get a community of the whispers to tune with the spirits of the land? Oh, probably. Because we were… Like, it was just the morning when we left. Yeah. So it's day. We have to wait for night. Yeah, we were at the Hound for a little bit. And then we're like going out on this spying. Yeah. Yeah. If Ving isn't going to do like a discern realities, like he could spend his time. I feel like… Like, three discern realities is cheap. Sure. Yeah. Commune.

Okay, I'm going to commune. And once we see that Urk's here, then it's like, oh, shit, there's spirit shit going on. Yeah. And I've picked up my bush and walked it over to these guys' bushes. And Billy's like… Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's coming for me. I'm all alone. What do I do? And the thorns, I can't really get out of here. Billy, Billy, it's tough. It's tough. He's just trying to get out like, oh, my God. Look at those thighs. It's tough. Guys. Urk is here. What? Check it out.

Oh, my God. He is. Well, I have something to tell you. Seven. Seven. Okay. So, what's a seven on the community of whispers again? On a seven to nine, the vision is unclear. It's meaning mercury. Murky. Mercury. Mercury. You give me like, basically, astrological advice. Yeah. Okay. So, the spirits that you attempt to contact on this island, you're trying to get an idea of sort of the… The spiritual ecosystem of the Four Frost Islands.

Again, with the ways that spirit stuff has been working with you lately, you feel the presence of spirits much closer than you're used to having felt them. Like, with the veil apparently thinning in some way, they're much closer than you're used to them being. But what you do feel is a spirit much, much older than you would expect from a place like this. Oh. Like, much older. Ancient. Ancient spirit, yeah. Can you tell if it's like, a good spirit?

Yeah, but something so old is not really good or bad. Yeah. It's just ancient. That's cool. Ionic. It does feel familiar, in a way. Yeah, maybe it pushed up against the danger room. Yeah, maybe. Like, that familiar feeling of like, oof, endless depth. Mm-hmm. Weird. Weird. Okay. That didn't really help at all. But, uh, kind of also dead. It does. Meaning murky. Uh, yeah, so that's what you've learned.

Uh, you can see that a good way over might be climbing, uh, the wall, if you're just gonna go full stealth mode. Um, there is a okay, uh, guard force in terms of training and equipment, and there's one person who is apparently working with the Medjay in some fashion who seems to stand out in terms of, uh, ability and armament. And they have, like, something on their back.

Yeah, some sort of weird thing that neither, none of you have been able to get a really good look at, and you just have no fucking idea what it is. Is it long or short? It's boxy. Boxy? Yeah. Got a box on his back. Just like Tuck. Oh my God. Oh no. Is it Phantom? He's back. Is this a good time to, like, use, like, some fairy moves? Hell yeah. Always. I don't know. Like. Yeah, what do you got? I don't know.

Well, I was wondering, like, what if I tried to use Shadow Dance to be able to, like, wander around in the fairy or shadow world. Mm-hmm. And, like, see if I can sense anything. So can you read me Shadow Dance? Yeah. So I would spend a hold of Fairy Child and roll Wisdom to enter the Fey World. Uh, 10 plus, I remain out of body for three holds. Seven to nine, I'm out of body for only one hold. Cool. Then yeah, definitely you can do that. Okay. So. So I got eight. Perfect. Okay.

So you get one hold. So I get one hold. Which means as long as you're just kind of walking around but not trying to do anything super intense, you can hold onto it. Don't run, Billy. Your constitution can't handle it. I hear that as I slip out of my Billy body and into the fairy world. Yeah, just a little reminder. What does it look like when you cross it? Like, what does everything look like now? Everything is a shadow of itself, including me. Mm-hmm. Uh. What do we look like?

You look like shadows. Oh, cool. Yeah. Ooh. Does the, does the coin in my chest look any different? Can you see it in this? Yes. Ooh. Uh, it's, uh, but it's not like a hard, it's not like a hard image. It's a, like a lot of like flitting in and out. Whoa. Like energy almost. Whoa. And TLC, uh, I can see them pretty easily. Whoa. Yeah. What does Ving look like when he's communing? Ving is.

Uh, a lot of like glowing and dark energy, like flowing in and out of your body, like cycling in and out and similar to the coins you've lit a bit. That's fucking rad. Yeah. I like the idea that because, uh, the fairy world is this like backstage kind of between all of the realms, like Billy can see parts of all of them. It's sort of like swimming just along the veil. Mm-hmm. That's great. Pretty cool. Yeah. What's your plan?

Um, I, uh, I'm going to get close and wander the perimeter of the fort to see if I can like see or sense anything like that. That's beyond like the physical. Yeah, definitely. That, you know, sense if there's something like bigger in here. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So you start walking around the, the edges of the fort, uh, approaching the shadowy walls of this place's reflection. Mm-hmm. And, um, yeah, you do feel. Yeah. Yeah.

You feel like there's some sort of nagging presence kind of at the back of your mind that is definitely in the vicinity of the fort. Mm-hmm. But there is something here. You might have to roll to get a little more information. I wonder if it's dangerous. Is this the thing that Ving felt in the spirit too? Might be. Wait, what am I rolling? I think discern realities. Oh, discern realities. Yeah, this could be discern realities. Or discern.

Or you were talking about trap expert, like we could use this to kind of talk about the danger. Oh. Yeah, I'll roll trap expert. Okay. Dexterity two is 10. Okay. Sick. Ooh, get to ask all three questions. You do indeed. Um, is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? There is a trap here, yes, in the broad danger sense.

Uh, and what would activate it is, uh, the, like the energy that you see and feel coming off of Ving when he's communing with the whispers, you can feel an echo of that deep under the fort. Ooh, underground. Yeah. Whoa. So, the way that Ving would activate it is too much of whatever Ving is doing. Oh, shit. So, he's sort of like knocking on a door. Yeah, exactly. Oh, shit. Like when, when What's-His-Nuts picked up that bowling ball and then Sauron saw him. Yeah, exactly.

When What's-His-Nuts picked up the bowling ball and Sauron saw him. Yeah. Oh, are you guys talking about the Woody Harrelson movie Kingpin? No, when, uh. Great movie, by the way. Who, I can't remember if it was Pippin or Merry. Merry. Merry touches the Palantir. It looks exactly like a bowling ball. It does. It does. It looks like a bowling ball. Yeah, so that is what you feel. Oh, wow. So, I'm scared. What does the trap do when activated?

Much like your Ving is knocking on a door thing, it would open him up to something. Oh, yikes. Down there. Okay. So, Billy starts backing up and he's wondering what else is hidden here. I would say that, yeah, you feel like you're in a trap. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Um yeah billy's like he feels afraid and it feels unnatural to feel that feeling in his fairy body so uh he rushes back rushes back to his body yeah just basic it feels like he like in a way like you kind of like let yourself fall off the edge again yeah I snap awake and I'm like thing thing snap out of it hold on I'm doing my thing I'm communing with the whispers no you gotta stop you gotta stop I am the spirit walk I'm serious billy there's something you don't want to wake it up what what is it what did you see I don't know but it just it was big and it's deep under the fort I felt that um I think if you were to wake it up it might do something to you I felt like it knew who I was weird uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh I felt like it knew who I was weird I'm here too guys sorry sorry tuck I don't have much to tell you that's fine you guys can have your conversation about your spirit stuff I'm just gonna go I'm gonna go over here he saunters off inside of a bush and billy picks up his his bush to walk up to tuck and he's like hey I have a secret the bush is shaking like it's crying wait tuck I have a thing to tell you from what I saw yeah yeah so they have a thing to tell you about what I saw yeah yeah so they have a thing to tell you about what I saw yeah yeah so they have a thing to tell you about what I saw probably a magic thing in there I have no details though a magic thing you say billy yeah and then he takes out his nerd glasses and he puts them on but he puts them on outside of the bush oh yeah so the bush is wearing glasses he's stroking the bush's beard like it's his beard we're really running up against how much stealth these bushes can actually give us he's not gonna hold up much longer for sure there's that uh a regular solid sound everywhere.

Blah! Blah! Blah! All these exclamation marks popping up above people's heads. Blah! Must have been the wind. Alright. If I see a magic thing, Billy, I will try and grab it. And you know what? I also do have an ear for magic. So, that is… And you want to read that move out? When you hear an enemy cast a spell… So, no. Wow. We haven't even seen if the enemy cast a spell yet. Just because it might happen. Yeah, I know. It is a handy spell.

The GM will tell you the name of the spell and its effects. Take a plus one forward when acting on the answers. So, hypothetically, if this thing were to activate, could I get information on this thing? This is something that I was… Because we talked about this last session, and it's something I've been thinking about, is we need to decide whether or not whether we want this move to do everything or if we want it to do a specific thing.

Because we've talked about, like, is spirit stuff, demon stuff, and magic stuff, does that all apply? Does it apply to any sort of magical effect or just when you hear people cast spells? I honestly feel pretty restricted in using this move because, like, nobody uses magic. That's what I'm saying. And we've never really had spell casters. So, I think it makes sense in our context to have it be… Maybe the significance of what the information you get is, like, tainted or murky.

That is the thing. It can either do a bunch of stuff, just a little bit less. Because the move, the way it is, is you hear a spell and I tell you what it does. But what if he gave us, like, part of it? Yeah, exactly. Like, if it applies to a lot of unusual things but you get more of a yeah, an infirm idea of what's going on. But you still get some information. I'm fine with that. How about this? I'll roll this dice and if it is odd, we will change it.

And if it is even, we will keep it very restrictive. Do you want to do that? I love to gamble, my friend. That's odd. Change it. Okay. It'll be more flexible in the future. Okay, cool. And I'll come up with a different way to word that. All right, let's do best out of three. Here, give me that dice. And that is what we know. So, yeah, Billy, returning to his body, has learned that there is something deep underneath the fort that is connected to the spiritual presence that Ving felt.

That thing would be set off by Ving contacting the spirits too much or messing with spiritual stuff too much in this place. And that there is some sort of magical something or other being held in the fort as well. That's definitely not Perel. No, it's not Perel. It's definitely like an object of some kind. Cool. And it's not like a super powerful presence. It's more like, you know, an echo in much of the way that magical stuff in this world is not as powerful as it used to be.

Right, because it's run down. Yeah. Okay. Cool. We've never had a magic thing, except for that box that we had for four seasons. Maybe those chamberling rings. Oh, man, and the fanny pack. Right, that was magic too. So we've had a lot of magic items. Yeah, you have actually. But other than those. Yeah, we haven't held on to them. Yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. So what's the next plan is just, I guess, wait till dark. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. We can smash cut too. Smash cut too. Nighttime.

Did you just wait in this bush this whole time? Yeah, I fell asleep. Yeah. In a thorn bush. Yeah. You know, once you get the thorns in the right place, it's pretty comfortable. As long as you don't shift around. Yeah. Billy wouldn't let us pull the thorns out of them. And then so we, we just waited for him to fall asleep and then we slowly picked them out. Do you like these? He likes these things too much. Yeah. So, you know, the time passes until darkness falls. It is winter, so it's overcast.

The night is quite dark. The moon is hidden behind a veil of cloud. Torches and lanterns start getting lit around the perimeter of the fort. So it's lit. But again, this isn't like a military facility. It's not exactly as tightly operated as it could be. Do they light the brazier up top? No, they don't. Whoa. What does that mean? What are they waiting for? Great question. I'd like to roll. What are you waiting for to figure out what they're waiting for? Great answer. Ready to get colder.

Somebody yells from inside the fort. I have a question about ingress for you guys, because I know Shantae, we climb up the side, but you can fly, right? Yeah, kind of. Yeah. You flew. It's just me. Yeah. It would just be me getting there, but I could probably get up there and take out a couple of these dumb guards. Oh, yeah. Like some guys on the wall. So then Billy and I can climb up. Yeah. So it's night. It's nighttime. Is the big time guard up there? The weird box back guy?

You can't see them from here. And are there a couple of guards like on the ground up front? No, they're all the guards that are here on the wall. Okay. What are they doing? Just kind of walking back and forth in their video game style patrol patterns, stopping once in a while to share an offhand voice line with one another. Cool. High five. Then we keep walking. Yeah, exactly. I think I can get up there and beat up those bros. Yeah, do it. Okay. Should I? Are we doing this? Is this happening?

I think so. We storming this fort. We're storming the fort. Guys, put the hands in. We are. Everyone be safe. A fourth hand enters the hole. What? I thought you guys were doing it. Are we storming the fort? Who are you? Just a guy. He's like old. He's got a long gray beard and an eye patch. We doing this? We storming this thing? This is a storm in Norman. Storm in Norman. I've been waiting 40 years for someone to storm this fort. What do you have against the Fort Norman? They took me legs.

Look, he's got two peg legs. He's got two peg legs. Cool. If you see me legs in there, bring them back out for storm in Norman. We will. You know what? You watch all of our stuff. Oh, yeah, I can do that. Give it to Norm. No, I mean our bushes. Oh, okay. I'll watch the bush. Go. God be with you and may the night watch over you. Yeah, that sounds fucking cool. I do like the idea that we were in these woods the whole time and then there was just this wild man.

Yeah, a bit of a feral dude and there's this isn't a huge island. So the woods aren't even that big. No, it's like three bushes. It's like a strip of trees. Yeah, yeah, it makes sense. It's like forts wouldn't let trees grow that close by. So he's just been waiting in a bush for this whole time. It's just like taking seeds from other bushes and planting them like one day. Can I ask Norman a question? Yeah, what can I do for you kid? How long have you been staking out the fort?

I've been staking it out on and off weekends. Just part time? Statutory holidays. Weekends and statutory holidays whenever I can get away from the store. Oh, that's nice. From the store. Yeah. What kind of store do you have? I sell bowls. That's cool. Like wooden bowls? Wooden bowls. I carve them by hand. Oh, beautiful. I'll have to visit after. Yeah, it's called Unbowlievable. Nice. And you won't believe the bowls that I have. Hey, Norman. Yeah.

Anything we should watch out for that you've noticed over your weekends of patrolling? Well, that's a great question. And you know what? You're right. You should roll for this. What are you? So what? I guess yeah, you could parlay and he might give you some information. Okay. Yeah, I'll parlay. Okay. Nine. Nine. Okay. So with a nine on a parlay, he requires concrete assurance of your promise right now. If you got some sweet materials on you right now, I can tell you what I know.

Materials like bowl materials? Yeah, like whatever kind of nice building materials you got. I don't know. Like I have this book of sea shanties. Nope. Okay. Oh, I have a bowl of beeswax for finishing your bowls. And he takes a look at the jar. Where'd you get this beeswax from? Fuck if I know. You just had beeswax? Yeah, I got a jar of beeswax. From the alleyway. Yeah, from Chandler's Row when we pretended to be those two kids. Right.

They had really high quality beeswax there and you bought some. Cool. It was in a dumpster. We took some out of a dumpster. It's fire beeswax. Oh, this is fire beeswax. You can use it for braziers. People can light wooden bowls on fire and it doesn't burn the bowl. Yeah. Holy shit. Oh, that's the finest beeswax there is to work with. Actually, I kind of want to maybe. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait. Okay, here. All right. It's yours, Norman. Boats. And he puts it. Sorry, Bill.

I totally, that was your, we were looking for barley for the. It's okay. I have a lot of stuff in my bag and none of it is useful. Unless you like rocks. Well, it depends on what kind of rock you're talking about. It's just the ones from the ground. Ah, I've got plenty of those. This whole island's a rock and one day I'll make a giant bowl out of it all. Wait, what? Anyway. Is he going to blow up the island? Is he a skateboarder? No, no, no, no, no, no.

This is a totally normal aspiration for kind of a weird guy. Okay, so what do I know? What do I know about the fort? Have you ever tried to break in? Yes, I have. Oh, how did it go? Oh, not well. They lost me legs. They took me legs, Billy. I'm so sorry. Norman. Nah, that's all right. I didn't need them. Okay. What do you want to know? Let's kind of work this out together. What's a fun tidbit that Norman would know? Where's the entrance inside the fort from the roof? Oh, of the keep? The keep?

Yeah, the center part. Well, I mean, it's a wall, so there's kind of a whole open area around it, but then there's the keep in the middle. Okay. And that has a whole whack of shit. Is there a prison somewhere where they might keep prisoners? Yeah, there's a dungeon. Okay, well, how do we get to the dungeon? The dungeon is accessed through… The keep, I think. Okay. I've never made it as far as the keep. Well, I made it to the door once, and that was when they took me first leg.

You went back after you lost one leg? I had to go get my leg. Oh, Norman, you are the bravest person I've ever met. Wow. That's one word for it, Billy. Yeah. So brave. So, does that make sense that the dungeon would be accessed via the keep? Yeah, for sure. Can you explain to someone who maybe had sex in high school what a keep might be? Yes, of course. You know, I don't know myself because I had plenty of sex in high school.

Okay, so a keep is sort of like, you know when you're looking at a picture of a castle and there's the wall and then there's the building. That's the keep. Can you pull up a picture of a castle? Yeah, man. It's literally just the part of the castle that's the building. So, there's a wall around a castle and that's how all castles are designed? Pretty much. For the most part. Pretty smart. Then people can't get in. Yeah. And that's how forts are designed, too. The wall builds around the house.

You discovered the idea of walls. I can't believe you fucked your way through Castle 101. Like, if you think about it, the Great Wall of China is like the wall to China and China's the keep. China's the castle. Holy fuck, she's right. Wow. Oh my god. Okay, so yeah. And this is a light guard style naval fort which means that they built it kind of they built it with a central, a big central tower in the middle as opposed to like… It's a lighthouse keep. Yeah, exactly.

It's a lighthouse with a wall around it for the most part. Okay. A fortified lighthouse kind of. And we know that the light guards like to put their dungeons deep down. Yeah. Anyways, I'm gonna watch your bush. I'm gonna play with this wax. Okay. Thanks, Norman. Hey. If you see any legs, bring them back. Okay. Will do. I mean, yeah. Tell them Stormin Norman sent ya. Actually, we will tell them that. Yeah, we will. Ha, ha, right. I'll carve your name on the inside of the wall. Oh, that'd be…

Everyone who goes inside will think that you've been in there. Hell yeah. Basically, you have been. Yeah. That'd be great. Alright, I'm gonna just chill here and he screws the top off the jar of beeswax and puts his hand in. I need that jar back. He puts some wax in his mouth. Alright, enjoy. I'm going. I need to. Okay. And he immediately goes to sleep. So. Okay, so. What's the plan? I was gonna get onto that roof. Yes. You're gonna go up the wall and beat up some guards.

I mean, we could all climb up the wall. We could. We want to climb up the wall together. Yeah. But maybe I'll use a top down so that you guys are gonna go up the wall. I'll come from the top down. I think that's the best approach. Yeah, cause then you can kinda like take them out from a direction they're not expecting and then we'll come over the wall. And we'll be back up if shit goes really bad for you. I like this a lot. Yeah. Okay. Okay, good luck, Ving.

I'm gonna use my, um, spirit tongue to distract the guards on the roof. You're gonna make some animal noises? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna make some, um, what's night time with our bats. Ooh, owls. Owls. Yeah, owls are out here too. Would hearing an owl at night be that unusual? Yeah, if the owl was from somewhere else. Or if there's many owls. So we're hoping that there's some amateur ornithologists on top of this wall that'll be like, that owl doesn't live in this range.

There is an ornithology club amongst the guards. Yeah. Birds are very, uh, sacred amongst sailors for sure. Oh, cool. A lot of omens and stuff tied up in that. Sweet. Uh, I'm gonna make the sound of, um, a, um, mast owl. And they, um, have been known to, uh, put nests in the abandoned crow's nests. Cool. And, uh, people say when you see them, it's good luck for a week. So people get really hard on actually seeing these. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. Get these guys, um, very hard for seeing this owl.

So are you, you're, you're moving away to draw them away from this spot that Billy and Tucker gonna climb up? Yeah, I'm gonna go on the opposite side. I'll go on the west side. Nice. I'll make some owl sounds. They'll come to that sound and then I'll drop on their faces. So are you flying, you're flying up and doing this? So you're gonna have to roll for something to get your shape shift going. So I jump inside the bush that I like, the thorny bush.

And then he uses the bush as the elemental form to transmute my body into the shape of an owl. Cool. Thornberry owl. Hell yeah. 2d6 plus wisdom. Constitution. Constitution I mean. Sick. Ooh. Whoa. That's two sixes. Yeah, I got box cars. Good God. That's amazing. Fucking sick. So you get three hold. Great. And your body is shrouded in this thorny bush covered in berries as you become an owl made out of vines. And Norman goes, what the fuck? Jesus fucking Christ.

And he salutes him and takes to this, takes to this guy. Amazing. And then when I'm up there, I'll make the owl sounds of the mast owls. So you could spend one of your hold and just do that. Yep. If you want. Great. So you spend one of your hold and you make a sound like an owl. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you see one of the sailors, one of the pirate guards look up and go, well, that's an owl. That's a nice pollution mast owl. Come on, guys. And he sounds super horny.

They say if you see them fucking, it's 12 years. Good luck. And then he does a lady one. Oh, fuck me. Fuck me. Oh, fuck. Oh, God. If you if you spend another hold yeah to do that to do the girl. Yeah, I'll let more guards go from the two holds. Yeah. So there's so worth it. So you see you make the noise of the boy mast owl and you hear the guards go to the guards go. Wow, a mast owl. We gotta go see this one week. Good luck.

And two of the other guards are like, I only look at them if they're fucking because then it's twelve years. Good luck. And then they hear the girl one and they go, oh my God, they run. So the four guards from this side of the wall have been drawn away and they're looking up into the night sky trying to catch a glimpse of this owl. They're all pushing each other and tripping over each other to get to see this owl. I want to see it. Okay, so I circle around them.

Use my last hold to shed the bush and fall from a great height. Silently. Yeah, and I want to roll my fight with honor before I land. Oh shit. Okay. Yeah. And I shoot thorns out and everything. So that's eleven. Good lord. Okay. Yes. How many hold do you get with fail all the time? But now that things get animals back on side, it's really funny. Yeah. So how many hold do you get with fight with honor three? All right. So if this is the fight starting, you got four people here.

Yeah, you got to take him out fast. Okay, because they're going to raise the alarm. If you don't. Okay, so I how many of them can I land on? Uh, allow me to as many as you want to spend hold to deal your damage to. I'll spend to hold. Okay. Take out two of them by landing on them. I retain the thorns on my feet like talents. So I would like to deal my damage to a foe within reach as like a talent kick. Do I get to use nature's fury because I'm using natural elements to deal damage? I'd say so.

Great. I can use a d10. Nice. Eight. Holy shit. I say nighty night bird perverts. You were the one that made the noise. You're the one who came flocking to it. You bird perv. Uh, you so how you rolled eight? Yeah, I rolled an eight. Yeah, that's enough to take out two of them. So the two that eight was to land on the guys. They're out. You take two out right away. And then I kick the other guy six six and that's that is enough to take out one of them completely.

And then there's one left that you hit, but he's not quite out and you can see that he's getting ready to be like and I do that and he stops. I put my my finger against my lips like a librarian go and I slap him in the face. Oh, because you have another hold, don't you? Yeah. That's a ten. This guy's this guy. You goes to hell. He's gone. He slapped the life out of he wakes up the devil's looking a little bird. Yeah, I know you can take about like you don't have to kill these guys.

If you don't want, I do not want to kill all four of them are out of commission. Great. So sick. Wow. Fight with honors fucked up. Wow. Are we like scaling up the wall that come back to us? Yeah. So tall walks rocks are so slimy from the sea water. Billy's on my shoulders as he's saying I don't want to touch these walls. You while tucks like shot a second. Why is my cardio getting worse? Fuck fuck.

Okay, roll it to fight in your strength just to see how climbing gets you how far that gets you thirteen. Yeah, you climb up. No problem. Your cardio is bad, though. I reach over the top of the wall and I flop. I you know that thing where like a like a chubby kid gets out of a pool and then like has to like fluff sideways over the edge.

And I'm like, we're here to save you and being standing in the middle of four people just breathing picking his tooth with one of the oh my gosh being you're so amazing. So powerful. Hey, you guys climbed up a whole wall. That's not easy. Yeah, it was pretty hard. It was pretty like tall wall. Yeah, Billy. That's not nothing. Why are you so out of breath, man? I gotta stop drinking gravy. So there's a there's a few smaller like braziers on the wall to light it up.

They're not like it's not like this place is brightly lit all the time, but there are braziers. You might be spotted if you don't try to make a move somewhere to hide. Can we put these guards clothes on and pretend to be guards? Yeah, there's smart. There's two people. We can make a tuck size outfit out of two of them. You don't have that much time. I'm gonna try and put their clothes on.

Okay, you are able to get one of their pants around your calf and then it rips in half and then I force the rest of it all the rest of my legs and you're holding a ten ten what to strength to pull it all. Now you're holding two halves of a pair of pants. Ties around your head like Rambo. You said you wanted to roll strength to force your leg through a piece of clothing that doesn't fit. This is winter formal all over again. What I will I don't know like it is winter. Keep in mind.

There are people are wearing heavy clothes because it is cold. That's something that I keep thinking about with tuck. Actually is it's really cold here. Tuck's probably going to want to start wearing. I don't know a cloak. At least tuck doesn't really get cold. He has one desert. I mean one armor all the time. I have two armor all the time. That's true. That's true. All right. Yep. You definitely stand out a lot here for sure a lot. Yeah, even more so than normal. What's going on in the keep?

Okay, great question. Bill noculars. Yeah. Do I have to roll for them or discern realities? Yeah. Yeah. If you want to just get like a surface level, you don't have to roll. But if you want to get deets, I want deets. Good enough. Okay. So you get one question. Okay. What here is useful or valuable to me? Okay. So from here, you're kind of doing a quick scan with the bill noculars and now that you're over the wall, you see there are more buildings in this kind of compound.

There's the central tower, which is probably where all the most like important stuff is kept. If there's a council, then that's probably where they meet. Like that's where their chambers are. But you also see there is what looks to be a barracks because there's like guards that move in and out of it and some are just like hanging outside the door smoking and shit like that.

And you kind of you're dragging your bill noculars up to the top of the tower to get a look at the brazier and you see a glint on what you realize is goggles as that like cloth wrapped figure that you saw earlier is at the top of the tower and they seem to be looking around. Oh, doc, everyone hide, hide, hide, hide into what I just lie down so that the wall of the kind of what are those catwalks up there called? I think those are called ramparts. Okay. Yeah.

So the wall of the rampart like hides me. Yeah. Also did not have sex in high school. Yeah, great. Defy danger dexterity to kind of get out of sight and time. Fuck dexterity. Like all of us. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. I also got a seven. Okay. Yes. So you all got partial successes. Okay. So you all kind of dive behind the rampart and you it's that thing where like, you know, like they go up in little squares and we're like holding our hands. The Aladdin trying to hide behind the bodybuilder. Yeah.

So Billy, you peek over still with your binoculars like from your hiding place and you're like looking up at the tower to see if the person spotted you and you see them kind of move their head a little bit and they pull the thing off their back because they notice something weird. And it unfolds to this like long contraption of some kind with like a long tube on the end and like a really boxy part that they're holding.

They have a gun and they lay it on the the crenellations of the tower and they're looking through something on the top of it to kind of get a better look at the rampart like a rifle. Yeah, it looks like a scope on top. Holy shit. Is this a magical thing spell or about this gun? Okay. Two to six plus intelligence. Oh, yeah, definitely got five. Oh, no. Oh, no, it's a it's a old timey thing. So I get to use my way. It's actually a newer thing. Yeah, so I don't get to use that at all.

Experience you get a point of experience. No idea what this thing is. It looks weird. I've seen it before. It's a big spoon. It's for eating soup. But what you realize the reason that they might be taking a closer look is there aren't guards walking around on this part of the wall anymore. Oh, it goes and gets one of the guards and like starts like putting him up as a puppet behind the rampart.

Okay, being puts on the clothes of one of the guys and stands up as and waves out of everything's fine. Both of you give me a two to six plus charisma and talks like fuck. I should have done that and then he just grabs the unconscious guys are but he's like here. Everything's fine over here. Give me a two to six plus charisma and then text like why can I only do the mrs. Doubtfire boy? Why am I doing a voice at all? I'm waving at him. Oh, holy shit. I got thirteen. I got ten. Jesus Christ.

So they were mimicking the mannerisms of those guards perfectly. High five talking about birds. Did you see that bird? So Billy, you see this. They start doing this pantomime behind you and you're still watching this figure at the top of the tower and they watch for just a few seconds too long. You're like, oh no, and then they stand up and the thing folds back up and they put it over their back and they walk to the other side of the tower. Thank God we did it. We did it. Okay.

I tossed my guy on the ground. He hits with a wet thud. All right. Time to descend into the keep. Okay. Yes. I'm going to keep this costume. I think it's probably a good idea. It looks good. Good on you. Thank you. Really? Yeah. Really shows off your shoulders. Yeah. Oh, nice. What does it look like thing? It's like a Celine Dion style long jacket puffy. Nice with V's and L's all over it. Or Victoria LeBlanc. Victoria LeBlanc. She has got merch.

Maybe this was a former crew member of Victoria LeBlanc. Oh, cool. I like the idea that it was the Victoria LeBlanc merch that this guy's like, I love Victoria LeBlanc. I'm brooding it. Yeah, I love it. All right. Yeah, that's that's canon. Now, Victoria LeBlanc has merchandise that people buy. It's a status symbol and the council kind of hates it when their people when their employees wear Victoria LeBlanc merchandise. It's part of their dress code. No, Victoria LeBlanc.

That's why this person's on the wall. They're like, get out of my sight. Great. So yeah, you're gonna have to how are you gonna sneak into the keep? Ooh, can I try like a sleep like a fairy dust or something? If there's like a group of guards? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's a couple guards on either side of the door to the tower, which is across from you. All right. I'm going to scurry amongst the shadows of the rampart. I'm gonna get close and I will do a very quiet. Okay, perfect.

So I roll a 2d6 plus. What is it charisma for fairy dust? Oh, yeah Dex. You got to sneak across first if you want to get close. Oh, Dexterity five seven seven. Okay. Yep to sneak. So you head down some stairs to kind of the ground level of the fort and there's like, you know, flagstone floor. There's barrels all over the place and you're kind of flitting between these different supplies. You get close to hmm.

Oh, do I as I'm going down the stairs like because you're talking about there's like the flagstone one of them is loose. And it goes. Yeah, you see you get a little close. Yeah, it makes a little rattle sound a little rattle scrape and the guard at the door turns. Uh-huh. So I blow the fairy dust really quick into their direction. Okay, 2d6. Plus charisma for fairy dust. Come on. He ate 10. Yeah. Yes. Okay. So I'll do it from a distance and it affects multiple people. Okay, cool.

So you blow this handful of your fairy dust, which quietly wafts across the courtyard and hits the two guards that are in front of the door and the one that turned to look at you saw you for sure before you knocked him out, but he just goes like and then flops to the ground. Damn you. Okay, and I motion for you guys. All right. Yeah. Thank you. Wait, do you still have fairy dust on your hands? No, I don't. I wiped it off on my pants.

You guys are playing patty cake tuck and Bing both just fall immediately asleep. So you get to the door and this is the door into the key into the central tower. Yeah. Okay, and it is locked. Dang it. Okay tricks of the trade please. 2d6 plus dexterity. 8 8 so on a 7 to 9. I still do it, but the GM will offer two options between suspicion danger or cost.

Yeah, suspicion and danger suspicion will be the way that you're going to have to open this door will kind of wreck the lock in a way that they'll be like, oh somebody definitely broke in here. Okay, and the two guards that you put out will probably know that you were in there or danger is there will be people immediately on the other side of this door that you have to deal with. I think I'm going to take suspicion cool.

So you pop it open and you open the door and you're in what looks to be a like basically a lobby area like a reception. You see stairs that go to like an upper floor and store stairs that go down underneath this floor, but it looks like this is where they welcome people that are here to meet the council would be your guess. Oh interesting a reception hall. Yeah, basically is there tons of people here? There's nobody here. What yeah, there's no one on this level.

I bet this is like the main entrance then. Mm-hmm. Okay. And yeah, there's stairs to your left that go down and then stairs above those that go like up. I guess we'll want to go down. Yeah, I think so. We can we jam the door one jam the door. Yeah, jam the door being a defensive fortification. There is what looks like, you know, like there's a big piece of wood and two hooks on either side of the door that are probably used to bar it in times of danger.

I go ahead and put that wooden those hooks slots boom, but definitely now the second somebody tries to open this door. They're going to be like something's up. So you head down the stairs and immediately the air feels like wetter, you know, like you're getting like underground and the construction of the building changes a little bit the finished stone blocks of the fort giveaway to like rooms that are carved out of the rock of the island old part. Cool.

And you follow some carved stone stairs that go down and like around kind of in a spiral and you hear voices. What are they saying? It's they're speaking very quietly, but you can hear words like soon complete dangerous, etc. Okay, we sneak over there defy danger dexterity to not be heard or seen all of us. Eight by twelve thirteen Billy is at the front creeping ahead with his stealthy, thiefness thing silent as ever. Yeah, light is a feather walking on like the railing.

Oh yeah, walking on the cobwebs that are stuck to the wall, just absolutely silent and tuck is walking behind a little too excitedly. To find out what might be going on in this place. Yeah, and you catch Billy underfoot and you just tip forward, slam down on your chest and roll the rest of the way down the stairs. It's the kind of thing where I'm like you don't.

You didn't see like a cat underneath you and then you're just like whoa, stop suddenly and then the cat also moves in the direction that your foot moves and then you're like so you step on it again and then you just totally lose balance. He goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, my foot and you are lying on your back looking up at this stone ceiling of this room that's lit by like guttering torches and moving into frame is a Medi. Oh, and that's where we're gonna end it for this week.

Fucking fuck your game master. Sean O'Hara joining me is always playing Tacoma Dome. The Barbarian Abdul Aziz so long playing being the half elf druid Paul offers take care and playing fat Billy the halfling thief. Jessica tie by everyone. Thank you to Aaron read for our intro and outro music, which we love to hear. You just love to hear it. Thank you to our Patreon supporters around the world for supporting us.

If you want us to sports bout lore and get access to hours and hours of bonus audio content, including a whole new campaign world of blade set in the High Spear mall featuring the cool treat kids and videos streams live streams every month art merchandise a whole whack of shit. Go to patreon.com and get access to all the bonus audio content. Patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money, please. We'll see you next time.

And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost baby for times of rest in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will. Not leave you without a resolution. Turn next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I gladly spout.

Spout Lore is brought to you by listeners like yourself. If you want to check out more stuff or give us a support, go to www.p-a-t. I'll start over. It sounds like a fucking Alta Vista ad. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing.

Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in bread. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close for the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara.

Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdulaziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello, everyone. When last we left our heroes, they began, in earnest, planning their infiltration of the Lightguard Fort on the Four Frost Isles to recover, hopefully, Perel and Maggie from the clutches of the Magi. Some scouting was undertaken in some extremely effective stealth bushes.

We were lucky that they were growing there. We were lucky that three bushes were growing within 15 feet of each other on an otherwise empty field. Well, the last… The logic behind that was that Storm and Norman had been planting bushes close to the… Yeah. Bushes? Particular stealth bushes? Close to the fort. Storm and Norman, of course, being an old man they met during their planning, who has attempted to infiltrate this fort numerous times over 40 years.

People used to come to see the fort like a tourist attraction, but now they come to see Storm and Norman. Try and break it. Take fidgets with them. Ving kind of offhandedly agreed to find and mark Storm and Norman's legs, just for the moral victory. Yeah. Then they began their observation of the fort, discovering things like guard patterns, some effective ways to maybe climb up the walls, before Ving communed with the whispers of the island to learn more.

Discovering deep beneath the fort an ancient spirit of some form, Billy hopped into the fairy realm for a moment to try and aid this otherworldly scanning of the fort. Discovering some sort of magical object held within. Oh, yeah. Or a magic signature of some fashion. Mm-hmm. Before also noticing that this ancient spirit seemed to be taking notice of Ving, hopping out and saving Ving from a fate unknown. Then the infiltration began. Ving turned into a bird made of thorny vines. Yeah.

And really pulled off some incredible martial arts, dive bombing a group of guards from the sky. How does he do it? I don't know. It was amazing. It was maybe the coolest fight scene that we had ever done. Yeah. Yeah. The fight choreography budget has really increased for this part of the series. Billy and Tuck arrived moments later out of breath. From just climbing a wall? Yeah. Oh, one of the results of a failure or a partial success on your scouting revealed some sort of unusual guard.

Mm-hmm. A humanoid figure wrapped head to toe with large goggles and some sort of collapsing ranged weapon on their back, which appears by all accounts to be some sort of rifle of some kind. Also, Irk is here. That guy was talking to Irk. Yes. Irk. Irk. The Medjay, who is on the case for Billy, magically contracted to find the light guard tech or the Medjay text relating to the ritual used to take Ving's shape-shifting away. We broke in. Did some Weekend at Bernie's bullshit.

Billy put some guards to sleep as you entered the main keep, which you barred behind you. And in attempting to find the dungeon, Tuck got a little overexcited in his infiltration. And to be fair, found the dungeon. And he found it in some sort of Sonic the Hedgehog style rolling maneuver. I lost all of the gold rings I had collected that day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And looked up into the stony face of Medjay. Yes.

And that is where we find our heroes now. Tuck, what do you do? I smack him in the face. I smack him in the face immediately. As soon as he enters frame, I start smacking. Yeah. Okay. You're going to have to roll a defy danger. I'm going to say dexterity first because you are at a disadvantage here. For speed. Ten. Oh, okay. Holy shit. That is maybe the fastest Tuck has ever reacted to a situation. Wow. And we're in it. Okay. Yeah. Go ahead and roll your hack and slash. Here we go. 13. Jesus.

Wow. Okay. This poor Medjay. Okay. Roll your damage dice. Holy shit. Six. Six. This is a person, right? This is someone's child. Vink sees this from halfway up the stairs. He's like, note to self, don't confront Tuck after he's fallen down the stairs. Yeah. The reason why Tuck is so angry is because he's like, I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die.

The reason why Tuck is so good at this is because a lot of his self-defense trading was when he was on the streets of McCall and a lot of that happened while he was being bullied on the ground or waking up on the sidewalk to someone trying to bully you. Yeah. So this is my ideal position on my back. Shoelaces tied together. Yeah. This is basically the equivalent of a guard for the Medjay. This is not a high-ranking Medjay. So your hand arcs up.

You see, as they try and raise their hands to block you, it looks like a little sheet of water rises up with them. And the water starts frosting over as your hand is arcing towards them. Cool. But it doesn't freeze in time. And you splash right through it and just knock this dude out. You catch him with your big baseball mitt hand and just knock him to the ground. Guys, watch out. There's people down here. Guys, I'm very strong. Be careful of my reflexes. And they all know we're here.

So you guys come down the stairs to see Tuck take this guy out. And he's crumpled on the ground in as few clothes as possible as the Medjay often are. Are there more people coming? You hear some slamming from a couple floors up. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Is there any doors? Anything? You are in the main area of a dungeon. There are two cells on each side separated by iron bars. And there is a corridor at the far end of the room. The cells are empty. Yeah. I was going to ask to discern realities.

That's what I was going to say, too. I wanted to search the Magi. Yeah. Are you trying to get information? Are you trying to find a key or some sort of thing? Just roll a d6. Two. Yeah. You find what looks to be a ring of keys. Oh, great. Take them. There's like three keys on it. Cool. Found some keys, guys. And Billy is investigating. Yeah. I'll discern realities. Okay. Of the room. 2d6 plus wisdom. Mm-hmm. Uh-oh. I got six. I laid. Well, you were searching for the keys. How is Tuck doing?

Tuck took the robe off the guy on the ground, and he's trying to put it on for disguise. I want you to understand how little rope there is already on this man. The Magi, as we know, are generally shirtless. So it looks like one of those short kimonos that middle-aged women wear sometimes. Yeah. I actually, I do like that. Since it's colder, they're wearing wide-sleeve things, but no shirts underneath. They're open all the time. Yeah. Cool. Yeah.

So it barely, it's like you got it over your forearm, and now that you're trying to get it under your bicep, it's becoming. It's becoming a real issue. But I do aid Billy. Yeah. When I notice he's trying to discern realities. Because he's pretty low down, so I just lift him up. Oh, thank you. Seven. Okay. One question off the discern realities list. What here is not what it appears to be? I like that one a lot. I feel like they're hiding something, obviously. Good question. Good question.

They wouldn't be down here if it was like for everyone to look at. Yeah. Yeah. Bing's trying all the locks. The keys. Oh. The cells that are seemingly empty. Okay. Yeah. So Billy, Tuck lifts you up, and you start being cast about the room like a lantern, as is usually the way. And you're looking at the cell doors.

Somebody that has infiltrated jails a couple times in the past, you notice that at least one of the doors, something is kind of off about the way the locking mechanism seems to be oriented. Oh, put me down. I want to try this one. All right. And I gently place him on the ground. And I give him a kiss on the top of his head. Oh, thank you. Thanks. Bing gives you the ring of keys, and you try one. But as you're turning the lock, you're like, oh, this door is already unlocked.

Like, I don't know why this lock would be feeling like it's still moving. And then you complete the lock, and you hear a click from inside the cell. And the click is the bars are. Dropping down, basically. Oh. There's a room beneath it. Whoa. Interesting. Okay. So, yeah, there's like a grinding in a way that makes it sound like maybe this room hasn't been opened in a while. And the floor of this cell starts lowering. Cool. Are you guys going into this lowering chamber? Hell yeah. I'm going.

Yeah. You can't stop me. Billy, we weren't trying to. Oh, sorry. We're all just standing on this elevator. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. We're like, yeah. Yeah. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. I just wanted to make it more intense than it was. Yeah. Do it, Billy. Jump into danger without a plan. I'm doing it. I already jumped. And the floor continues to lower for, it's not that deep. It's like maybe eight feet.

But there is a doorway that goes back underneath the main floor of the chamber above. You know what I mean? Like, it's basically right underneath. And there seems to be an unblocked. There's an unlit plinth that has like a brazier in it. And then a couple shelves kind of around the perimeter of the room. Is there anything on the shelves? Does Ving recognize any of the iconography? Yeah. You would all recognize this by this point. This looks like light guard.

Like, this looks like it was a light guard room of some kind. It looks like it was built to be a part of this fort. Is that spirit thing down here? That spirit thing that you felt? I mean, I don't want to tie in, but it did feel deep under the fort. And we are going lower. Uh, yeah. You feel like whatever that presence is, is even lower than this. This looks like it is just like it was a hidden room that the light guard kept things in. Oh. Yeah.

Tuck, this reminds you of like the Church of the Flame sort of like ceremonial braziers. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like the guy that we saw at Flotsam. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. This looks like it was some sort of combination of prayer room and like reliquary. Cool. Is there anything we can steal? Yeah. Yeah. It's dusty in here. It's been a while since people have been in here. You think maybe the, um, even the captain's council might not know about this room. Oh, cool. What? I'm going to discern some realities.

Okay. Six. Duh. I will help you. These realities are discerning. Um, so Billy just moves Bing's hand down to like the actual part where stuff's going on. Yeah. I got an eight. Okay. Perfect. Yeah. You find, uh, an object that Billy, you help Ving guide his hand towards it because this feels like it might be the magical signature that you recognized earlier. So I want you guys to describe this object to me. It belonged to a McCollin wizard. And that's all I'm going to tell you.

I don't know what their specialty was. I don't know who they were, but it belonged to a McCollin wizard. For some reason, I thought of a string of an instrument. Oh yeah. Yeah. That would kind of make sense. Cause one of the kind of, uh, callings of the giants was like music, right? So maybe it was a giant wizard. Ooh. Interesting. Okay. Then I think I might know what it is. Okay. It's a cloth wrapped bundle. Wow. Things like, Oh my God. Cloth. Oh, this will come in so handy.

Look at all this nice cloth. It's yeah. It's actually really, it is really nice cloth. It's maybe a little mold moldy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I already tasted it. I'm like, it's, it's mold. Yeah. I wasn't sure. I had to be sure. It's either mold or pepperoni. That's definitely mold. It's hard to tell in the light, you know, don't eat mold. Stop doing it. No, it just was round. But at this point, his immune system has got to be way better than anything. I think you're fine. Probably. Um, okay.

We open it up. What's in there. Hmm. It is a, uh, broken shard of a mirror. What's in there? Oh man. Hold it up. Look in face. Right now. You're, you just see yourselves. Wow. Hello. I knock on the mirror. No, you see your, your fist. Touch your fist. I kiss the mirror. You see your lips. Touch your lips. Okay. Well, I thought it was going to be a mirror, like in flats. I'm like, that guy tried to get us to kiss. Is there anything on the back of the mirror? Um, yeah, you can discern realities.

I discern the mirror. Oh, or no. Sorry. Very bad. Okay. Oh no, I didn't. No. Yeah. Sorry. What were you going to say? I was going to say a Spout Lore makes more sense. Oh, I could also do an ear for magic. Yeah, that's true. Cause we know this is a magical thing. Yeah. Um, and sorry, can you remind me how we changed ear for magic?

It would, that it would be like, I can kind of just, it would be like anything magical or spiritual or iconic, but like I can get a vague vibe of it instead of like knowing exactly what a spell does. Cause it was like, when I hear someone cast a spell, I know what it does immediately. Yeah. Cool. Okay. That you say something interesting, but not useful sort of thing. I guess so. Yeah. Um, that's good. Cause I rolled snake eyes. Jessica, he didn't know. It's too late.

He said, Abdul can take the turn. Okay. This is what I'll tell you. Tuck, you're looking at the mirror. You're holding it by the cloth basically like to make sure you don't cut your fingers on the edges. Yeah. And as you're looking at this mirror, really just taking in your own reflection after for a few seconds. I'm checking out what I look like in the kimono. I'm like holding it away. It looks like I'm taking a selfie is what it looks like.

Uh, and for a fraction of a second, your reflection disappears and you see what looks like a stone chamber, like a carved stone chamber with sand on the ground, beams of light cutting through the air and then it's gone. Oh, weird guys. I saw like a, like kind of like a stone. A stone chamber. Basically what Sean said with beams of light cutting through sand on the ground. It looked like it was McCall, right? Uh, it looked deserty for sure. Yeah. There was a bunch of sand. Yeah.

I think this shows you sand guys. Let me see that. I think he's going to like look at it for like really hard. Like maybe to show me where I'm from. Oh, maybe that's what it is. You see the same thing that Tuck described for just a second. So anything happened? I take the mirror. I try really hard. I hope my fists are so tight on the mirror. And for a second, Billy, you see the same thing, but, um, you feel like your point of view is closer to the ground.

Oh, like you're seeing like sand basically just below your feet and then gone. Hold on. Come back. Where'd you go? Yeah. You can't get it back. Is there anyone in there? I've been here around. You unfortunately can't get the, uh, get the, uh, get the, uh, get the, uh, get the, uh, get the image back just yet. You're going to need some time, I think, to, uh, really observe this. Okay. Wrap it up. Put it away. Yeah. Yeah. Someone else should carry this. I fall a lot. My backpack is cloth.

Actually, that is something interesting. I'd say, uh, Tuck, you're like somebody else should hold this and you drop it and it hits the ground and it doesn't break. Oh, wicked. It goes like long. I pick it up and throw it at the wall. It amazingly doesn't break. Cool. I throw rocks at it.

Uh, and then you, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys start throwing this mirror around as it's like clanging on the walls and you hear voices from higher up go, what the hell is that? Oh no. I forgot what we were doing. Uh, yeah. So you hear voices. It sounds like they're not quite at this chamber yet, but they're, they're coming down. Is there another room we can go into? Unfortunately, this seems to be a, uh, just a room.

Is there any way we can lock the storeroom up? Cause if they don't know that's here, we can maybe hide out where they come in and investigate the, the, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, the cell room and then leave. That sounds like a discern realities. Nice. I got eight. Okay. So what's your question? What's useful here? Yeah. Perfect. Turn this into a high little Heidi hole. Yeah.

Uh, on the wall next to like the, uh, the door frame basically that you walked through the threshold, uh, to the right, there looks to be a little key hole. Hmm. Stick the keys in, try it out. Yep. And the wall starts to rise up the, or the floor starts to rise up. It starts to rise back up, sealing off the door to the room that you're in. I sure hope this doesn't backfire. And the light starts to go out and now you are in complete darkness, but sealed away. I'm very scared of the dark.

You can make light. What? Do I have to use something to make a little? Oh, below the wisp is a move that you can use anytime. Right. I make a little wicker cat. I'm like, I'm sorry. I forgot. I just went into panic mode. Yeah. The wicker cat jumps out of this like spiraling mode of light and lands on the ground and it's just like walking around and the, uh, the wicker cat is, uh, or the wicker light. Yeah.

Uh, it's kind of hopping up onto the plinth, up onto the shelves, casting light all over the walls. And you see this old for sure. Light guard imagery, images of the God of the flame, images of light guard warriors doing battle. I just, sorry. I just like, it can be off mic, but I just had a thought like, what if this room, cause it's got the brazier and everything. What if all these, uh, like in regular light, there's doesn't look like there's anything on the walls or anything, but it's lit up.

Like you can only see it when there's a light or a fire. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. That would be sick. So there's like secrets on the walls. Yeah. Okay. So you see when you came in, you saw kind of faded images, like old flaked paintings. Uh, but the wicker cat, the wicker light passes by something and you see like a, you know, another image like over these old paintings and as she passes by, it disappears. Grab the cat. Use as a lantern heading nicely.

It's hard to get like a clear, you're catching like little bits of it, but it seems like this isn't the, uh, the ideal light for this. Can I activate Terri Larry and Chad and see if they're light? Uh, Oh, the amethyst. Yeah. Uh, yeah. The spike lights up and it's the same thing. Like it's for some reason, the, these artificial. Spirit lights. The spirit lights in the fairy light don't really seem to be doing it. I have a sun torch, sunstone torch in my thing. I'll whip that out. Try it out.

Yeah. Um, it's again, it is a similar thing. You're getting the idea that if you want, you guys are trying every light that you have, you're turning on your phone, flashlights, whatever you can do. I start scrambling around the shelves looking for anything. Yeah. Yeah. You guys get the idea at least that, um, you would need to light a fire in this. Yeah. In this plinth.

So I'm, uh, Billy starts like scrambling around the shelves and he's got the mirror to help him like with the light, try to shine light into the nooks and crannies. And then he sees the brazier behind him and he's like, Oh, can we light a fire in there? Absolutely not. This room is way too small. That is so dangerous. Are you kidding me? Do you know what fire does? I'm very hesitant. I don't want the, uh, elements to get away from us. Not in here. We're hiding. We're hiding.

But Ving, what if there's cool stuff that we don't know? The no is written on the walls and then the fire lights it up and then we know the secrets. This is how pyromania starts, my friend. You think that something cool will come out of starting fires. Ving, you never let me do cool stuff. You always tell me no. What are you talking about? You just made a cat out of light. That's so cool. Please though. I really want it. And then I go, okay, Billy, Ving and I will discuss it. Fine.

And I was like, can I talk to you over here for a second? And we shuffle six inches. To the- To a private corner. I go sit in the brazier with the mirror like, no one lets me do anything. He's thrown against the wall. Gone. All right, dude. Like, we have to like, let him make his own mistakes sometimes. Okay, well then he can light his own fire. I have a flint. If you, if you agree to this. I mean, I just, I'm really hesitant right now when everyone's up there. I can hear them.

Listen, footsteps, footsteps. Maybe now, who knows what's going to happen when we light this fire. We got to trust him to make his own choices. There's nowhere for smoke to go. We got to trust him to find a place for smoke to go. You do. Since you said there's nowhere for smoke to go. You look around the room and at the seam of the ceiling of this room and the wall, you see little squares cut into the walls at sort of like equidistant spacing. Oh, I put my hand in front of it.

I can feel like a draft. Yeah. It looks like this room was designed with people burning fires in a closed space in mind. Yeah. Come on, man. Every once in a while, we got to let him jump into danger without a plan. Every time. Every move. Okay. Okay. Okay. Here. Billy. Yeah. I can light a fire. I'm giving you this flint and this steel. Okay. Because we trust you. I'll do it. Take it. I'll do it. Thank you. Add it to your gear. Thank you. You're welcome. So I do that. I start.

I don't really know how to use it. Uh-huh. Just banging them together. Yeah. Just banging them together, getting sparks flying. Okay. Roll a Spout Lore. I like in the way that his binoculars work. He just holds it and then the fire starts. And he's like, ah, excellent. Oh, great. I'm a professional. 10. Oh. Holy shit. Interesting and useful. Okay. So you light a fire in this little brazier plinth. In the center of the room. It.

Burst to life and images shimmer into view, overlaying the paintings flaking on the wall. Oh, adding details and imagery that were obscured from your view before. Fucking sick. There's stuff written in like the old language on there. Oh, were you thinking like the fairy, like the original? Like the druid. Yeah. Oh, so sick. Sick. Sick. Sick. Interesting. Oh, and the images move. Oh, yeah. It's like old movie. Yeah. Is that lame? We have popcorn. No, that's cool.

The braziers for making kettle corn in. This is great. You find on one of the shelves a striped red and white vest and a little paper hat. So, Billy, you see as you're on the shelves kind of observing the images. You see scrawled in a flowing script what looks to be the original like druidic fairy language that you have started to read recently.

And you reach out to touch where the images are painted on the wall and your fingers like graze it in a line and the images just above your hand move with that gesture. Whoa. I jump back a bit, but then I like go back and I keep doing it. And. It's like people on horseback. Mm hmm. And the horses start. Like galloping across the wall. And when you move your hand back, they gallop backwards. Oh, I'm doing that a lot. They go. They run forward and back. Yeah.

And you can hear like faintly the sound of like hooves. Yeah. I like that a lot. Yeah. Very faint. Yeah. So cool. And like like metal on metal clashing. Mm hmm. And then I move to like another section and there's like a huge shadow like swallowing up other things. Whoa. Sick. Yeah. Ving goes above you and there's things happening in the sky above that. So it's like it take multiple people doing this dance to reveal the full story on the wall. Maybe. Interesting.

Oh, Tuck is like poking around at like the ceiling and like the images up there and he's like tracking it down and there's like a picture of the moon that he notices. So he touches the moon and then he follows it as it like progresses through the sky and it is breaking as it's falling into the ocean. Mm hmm. And then it falls on an island that looks a lot like the four frost isles. Oh my God. That's awesome. Oh my God. That's so awesome. Thanks. That was a really gratifying response. Wow.

Jessica. Very good. Oh my God. Oh my God. Re-ends in the basement. Oh. Oh. He must be. Oh God. Oh yeah. I take out the waning knife. I see if it's like behaving differently. It is. Whoa. It seems to be. It's so bright. Yeah. It's glowing brightly right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And now. There's so much light in here right now. Yeah. It's like you're looking like directly at a full bright moon. Oh my God. I wonder if I can tell you one more thing about the mirror. Tell us. Tell us. Tell us. Okay.

What did you roll? Tell us. What did you guys get when you roll the spell Lord to look at this mirror? 10. 10. Oh, wait. No, that was for that. For the walls. It was for the mirror. Was it 10? It was a 10. Okay. You. It is. Okay. So. Tell us. That actually. That actually scared me a little bit. Take a picture. For listeners. I stabbed the waiting knife. It's. Tell us. Fuck. Tell us the information. Give us a spell or something useful and interesting. Tell us both. Paul's got. Oh, I know.

He's going to get it. He's going to get it done. I said calm down. Put it down. Put it. Put it down. We're going to get the person downstairs up here in a second. Dancer's going to be so mad at us for that. Ving, you are more experienced now at like trying to understand kind of the more otherworldly aspects of this plane. You have a feeling that and tuck because of your magic, that this being a show, it's going to be a show. It's going to be a show.

Of a greater thing is affecting how it operates. Guys, this thing is a shard. Yeah, which affects how it operates. This thing's sharded all over the place, probably. There's probably shards all over the world of this. And if we put it together, it'll make it like, you know, like a whole thing. One giant shard. Like a shard party. We need to throw a huge shard party. Do you think there could be shards everywhere? Yeah.

I wouldn't doubt that there are maybe shards happening in different rooms in this place. No way. Bing pulls out his laptop and looks up used shard.ca. Guys, I can just feel another shard is coming. Yeah, there's another shard nearby for sure. Yeah, so this mirror is broke. I drank too much Red Bull before I came here, and I can feel a shard coming for sure. I've drank the perfect amount of Red Bull, and a shard is on the way. But yeah, you can tell that this is broken.

And if it were the full mirror, perhaps it would do something. But right now, all you're getting is like flashes of imagery of some other place. Cool. Okay, cool. Okay. And it's the one thing that is very notable, besides the fact that a mirror is showing you images of another place, which they're not supposed to do, is that it's showing you the same place every time. Oh. Okay, so back to the murals, the murals. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The moon crashing. So this is what I'm thinking, is I'm thinking that it is both moons to begin with, that rise up from like one side of the wall, like near the shelves, the moon rises up. Oh, and things on the other side rising the other moon? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So one of, both moons are full as they, like they're going through their cycles, waxing to waning. Oh, cool.

And then something, like as you're arcing them over the ceiling as they're approaching each other one of the moons begins to a shadow begins to pass over it and the moon becomes like a deep like blood red and as they get closer as the the fuller moon begins to wane uh the red moon shatters whoa and becomes what you recognize as the coronet whoa and as they meet in the center of the ceiling the coronet encircles the waning moon oh my gosh wow and around the edges the images that billy and ving were looking at there are it looks like light guard warriors on horseback but then you notice that it's not all light guard there are armies of varying cultures different like the mural like the tapestry yeah the tapestry aquarius tower and also the one in the clearwater clear water the one that keeps showing up what was that called the breaking of the chain the breaking of the chains oh my god billy starts like rushing and running his hands all up the walls yeah so we're all having it and we all come to this big center wall like everybody's maybe like working and it like it ends in that when we all have our hands together it ends in the breaking of the chains paint but the image here is different where it was a golden rod robed wizard on the portrait that you saw that one in aquarius tower the one in aquarius tower this looks to be a woman in a long like red dress with like flowing hair is it allison oh my god is that allison uh I guess it's it's a red that is very reminiscent of the moon that you saw the blood moon yeah yeah uh and it is a woman with long hair and a long flowing red dress standing on like a hill uh holding a spear aloft it's lillian oh my god it is it's the blood moon yeah it's the blood moon yeah it's the blood moon where's rian I start I try looking for him um you see an image further away down the wall like if you're looking at this big central painting it's kind of off to one side there is a lake and next to the lake is a small pile of stones with reeds coming out yeah with reeds kind of growing up around them like a cairn it looks to be a cairn of some kind okay the same way that we could hear horses hooves there's like a there's a a song to the broken in the reeds there's a song being played as we rake over the reeds that are growing out of the stones by the lake like a sad a sad like yeah a song of passing a dirge yeah and the way that the lake is oriented in this painting it feels like something that is there's it feels like there's a longing there's a distance like it's something that is uh like it's being pulled by the tides sort of thing kind of yeah it's being it seems like it's the distance between the center of the painting and the lake is feels very emotionally significant I'm trying to look at the if there's any like landmarks where I could know where this lake is I guess you got I guess this was a 10 so we're just kind of talking about this painting yeah so billy is trying to recognize a landmark right sort of like I I do feel I it's like I hear these like sounds uh songs and I feel all the emotions that are sort of running through this paint and like over that I hear like almost like a woman's voice um what's that word where like women used to like whale oh keening keening yeah it's a very like distant sort of sound like that in the wind as it rushes through those those reeds um billy something that you see while you're looking at this lake trying to recognize uh what feels familiar about it you see on the shore of the lake a woman's voice and a woman's voice and a woman's voice and a woman's You see on the shores of this lake, buildings start to kind of sprout up and a city takes form on the shores and rising up out of the center of the lake.

It looks to be a keeper, a castle of some kind. Just sitting in the center of the water. If Tuck and Ving were to look, you would not see this. Oh, really? Yeah. It feels like something that is just like it's your memory knitting together. Whoa, my memory. Yeah. You feel like you've been there before. Billy says that. Holy fuck, my fucking memory. The fuck, bud. Memory would be a crazy thing to recall as a weird fairy child. Yeah.

So, Billy, it feels like a place that you've passed through at some point in your life. Billy, do you recognize that place? I think so, but I don't remember from when. Do you know what it's called? No. Okay. Can I use bardic lore? Mm-hmm. Because they have both gods and their servants and histories. Yeah, totally. So, you do only get one question. You don't get one for each.

When you first encounter an important creature, location, or item, your call, covered by your bardic lore, you can ask the GM one question about it. The GM will answer truthfully. The GM may then ask you what legend, song, or tale you heard that information in. Okay. What should I ask? Like, I could ask what… What? Because did… Is the thing that I described? Where, like, the moon breaking apart, a piece of it falling beneath this keep. Is that still the case? Yeah. I mean, you said that.

Okay. So, I'll honor that. I think it's… Instead of the coronet, like, fully encircling the remaining moon, I think there are pieces that are falling to Earth in different places. Oh, I really like that imagery. Oh, yeah. Spinning and, like… Different place. Yeah. Yeah. They touch down in different places, kind of in this landscape. Yeah. Okay. Oh, my God. This mirror could be made of moon. This whole island. This whole island could be a shard of the moon. Oh, my God. Norman's legs.

Is that what it is, Sean? Is this whole island? It would make so much sense. A chunk of the moon. That's really cool. Oh, yeah. Can I tell you? I'll tell you what that face was. Yeah. Didn't even consider it? Uh-huh. That's definitely what it is now. Yes. That's sick. So fucking cool. That's so fucking cool. That is so cool. So cool. So, the Four Frost Isles are a remnant of Lillian's… Lillian's moon. Yeah. God damn, that's cool. No wonder the knife, the waning knife has so much power here.

Okay. Is the question, what is the other moon? The blood moon? No, because the blood moon became the… The blood moon was Lillian's moon, right? Yes. Yeah. So, she was that moon. I thought Rian was the other moon. I don't know that we have ever confirmed what the other moon is. Oh. I think something also to consider is the reality of events and those events depicted in our world. Yeah. Yeah. The blood moon and the artwork don't necessarily line up. Okay. Yeah.

But I do want to know what this artwork thinks it is. Even if you thought about it… Yeah. …based on the history, although we've never talked about what the blood moon means. Uh-huh. I've alluded to it a couple times, but we haven't actually talked about the event. True. You realize that the blood moon and the breaking, if this is about Rian's death, that doesn't necessarily line up. That seems to be artistic license. Okay.

This is my interpretation of the history as we've established it so far. And let me know if it lines up with what you guys are thinking. Okay. But it was Lillian and Chimes got together. They had a kid, Rian. Rian became a king of the principalities. Through some betrayal, he was killed. And then Lillian lost it, became the blood moon, waged war against men. And then all the nations on the elves, the men, everything came together… The last of the giants?

…to fight against the last of the giants, to fight against the blood moon, which was destroying the world. And then the blood moon broke, which don't know idea why it broke, but then it shattered and she was trapped beneath the sea of graves by Chimes. Probably he betrayed her. That's what I have. That's my read on it so far. Yeah. That's, I think that makes a lot of sense. You're like 95% of the way there. Cool. Yeah. Wow. What's the missing 5%?

It's that the moon shattered when Rian was killed. Oh. So Lillian's grief broke the moon. Yeah. And her, like these images of her as the blood moon seem to be more representations than they are like reflections of what actually happened to the moon. So there was never actually… The blood moon is like a representation of motherhood as well. Yeah. Right. Because periods and shit. Exactly. I'm sorry. Well, you haven't just been saying periods and shit in your mind this whole time. Yeah.

This whole thing is… The whole podcast is a metaphor for womanhood. Are you guys fucking kidding me? No. I'm out now. This whole time, man. Wow. This whole podcast has been… You can never stop a lady from spouting lore. I feel like… The thing is, is because I don't think that this isn't… This is so far in the past that I think even this war is considered myth. Yeah. Legend. Like no one alive was there for it except for Chimes. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

World if we consider the exodus an apocalypse this world has been through several right an age always ends in catastrophe basically like the giants had their own apocalypse that ended up with them turning into the oracle yeah this war destroyed the world very likely man our world is so fucking cool so cool it's very cool world a series of books like why aren't we lord of the ring we are the lords of our own rings I just want I want your question your question could just be what is this event yeah do you want that question I mean I at least want to talk about it and I I honestly just might anyways because I like I'm so excited about it yeah um I just want to talk about it okay but if that's not your question if you have other details that you want to know well what if what if he asks another question but you add all the stuff you want to talk about you guys have been in this situation before when I get so excited about world building I'll basically tell you anything you want to know yeah so easy prematurely ejaculate all of the information this is my premature ejaculation because I never do it the rather the paul kind it's actually a problem I take like nine hours that red rain should help all right get out the milking machine brace yourself in eight hours okay what's your question I kind of and I want your guys's input on this I sort of want to ask what is the thing under the fort I want to know yeah yeah totally and that's not depicted within this image no it's not what is it like yeah like what is this spiritual presence this ancient spiritual presence beneath the fort well we already know it's a chunk of the moon so it's got to be tied to that like maybe it's like a piece of lillian like maybe lillian's not the the eye of the storm that we found that's like most of lillian like her cognizance like but there's like pieces of her like scattered all over the world remnants of her grief yeah well yeah that's why it was so like malicious like unwelcoming in a way yeah and like so dormant and because we've been in the tomb where she is that's how she recognized my signature yes oh yeah I feel you nearby you said it was familiar sean said it was familiar yeah because what we do know at least uh based on chimes and history and the stories we've told and heard about lillian um she had a physical humanoid presence on this planet and also the moon was still in the sky so her body and the moon are not the sick they're connected but like she draws her power from the moon and like the moon draws whatever it does from her but she's she's not the moon she's not the moon she's not the moon she's not the moon she's not the moon yeah she's basically like she it seems like gods as we know them on this world are like embodiments of particularly powerful spirits yeah almost like avatars kind of of certain spirits like et in the flower like et in the flower when the flower dies et dies yeah okay so what is beneath the four frost isles you believe uh based on what you've seen in the past you believe that the moon is the one that's what ving told you and billy told you about the spiritual presence and the stories that you've heard about this event and the imagery and information you've gleaned from this room you believe that it must be a fragment of the moon what fragment though like what piece of lillian's world is it what was contained within that piece of her when the moon shattered because I see that's what it would have been I bet it was originally like everything like it was none of them were like separate feelings or anything like that but I wonder if it's like in time uh in time and also like with what maybe the druids practiced and then the magi and the fairies and giants and other things like that fed into like whatever it's perverted energy right was coming off of that oh shit so it's almost like like they fed into each other yeah like the best explanation like it was everything but over time a certain aspect of it was amplified by whatever happened nearby so maybe the druids are using this as a source of power like or maybe they're trying maybe they're the reason why there was that huge shipment of ghost route is because the druids are trying to leash this part of lillian's prez sean's coming yeah it would make sense like otherwise why else be here so what was the thing that you were thinking just now just now that thing where I was like oh my god I'm gonna be like I'm gonna be like I put my hands on my head yeah I made a face um that might be this attempt to leash this this portion of the moon spirit powerful as it might be might also be the reason they need the ghost route but also the reason they needed to take ving's power oh shit because they might need it they need the spirit walker holy shit that's why the thing underground recognized me is because it knows my blood and my spirit whoa and you have the knife on you and the knife might be required for whoever is attempting to leash the spirit might need that power oh my god this could be a trap do you think maybe this wasn't about perel the whole time and maybe it was a way to get ving am I the perel the whole time puts his finger over his lip like a mustache ving got one of those uh mustache tattoos on the side of his finger in 2010 well we are it was mardi gras we all got it it was 2009 it was a different time okay uh yeah that's a that's a very good theory that maybe maggie and perel are bait our bait yeah oh god oh my god so many layers of bluffs in this whole plan ving's mind is blown storm and norman was a plant what if he was it would be so funny if we walked into the captain's council and storm and norman was sitting there and he's wearing there with legs yeah he's wearing a match eye robe he's like it was me the whole time he's doing that like one leg up over the arm of the throne and like leaning on his elbow like nice of you to join me it's a kaiser soze kind of thing like he's walking without a limp now yeah all right well we learned a lot didn't we oh god and we've arrived at a conclusion you might have walked into a trap and the album that I heard this on it was it was archers over kings it that was that band that we came up with in Mall Brats where it was like they're the descendants of like a group of former nobility in the frozen north dark forest yeah in the dark forest and they had their power usurped from them but their whole like identity almost as royals was how good they were as archers so like all of the all the songs that this band sings are about their line and the history of their line and the album is called unto the blood moon once more and it's about the final battle against lillian yeah I do have a name for this war I don't know if I've said it oh cool I think that tuck would probably know it from like bits and pieces of information he's gained it was called the grieving nice yeah so cool so sick there was like a one person who like a very uh brutal force called the griever interesting I do like the idea that there was like one person on the other side to like on the side of the forces of man for lack of a better word I don't know if I'm wrong but better humankind doesn't work because there were elves yeah whatever you know what I mean um who was like a heroic figure who's said to have like led the battle so cool but we don't know anything about them no yeah it's this is like the story that we're telling right now about these three idiots is brushes up against so many way cooler no I love it it's so funny it's like that episode of buffy where xander's on his own and every once in a while he'll love it and he'll love it and he'll look in the window of the library and they'll be fighting some huge demon and he's just like they don't need me right now um yeah so the grieving so fucking cool that's cool okay I've said it on mike finally thank god although I did reference it by name in one of the almanacs oh cool yeah the almanac is available uh on the Spout Lore patreon to 25 backers and above as it comes out we will be releasing it eventually in a collected pdf um okay so that's what you know anything else you want to ask me that I think I've I think I've run my course on things that I know right now I'd like to roll war cry get them all to come to this room yeah I was I actually was gonna roll fights for honor because if I feel a trap coming on but you said that I have to you basically have to be squaring up with somebody to roll that and I want to also shoot first yeah when I have a chance yeah it means that billy can't be surprised so okay so tuck turns to these two once we've kind of like put all of this together and we're like okay so we have to take over the fort right like I think so a we have to fight our way out of here b we can't let them have that knife three uh I don't want to stay here forever or have anything happen to me yeah maggie and perella right we gotta get maggie and perella I get maggie and um so do you think the thing that we do now is we go back up and we fight our way in I mean we're already under yeah and there's no other way out they know we're somewhere around here right I think we should go out guns blazing I think we should also go guns blazing I want to come up these stairs okay uh so you know it's just like tick tick tick and we're all like yeah you've got it so you unlock the chamber uh the floor descends you get on the elevator ding gender on it cleaning it a guy in a red jacket with a little red hat that's like third floor reliquary and then you get back on turn the key again click click click right fight with honor okay let me stop you right there nobody in this chamber but as we were rising you could hear this I knew it I knew it the second I saw your phone I knew it that was a gun being racked Paul just racked a hand gun into the microphone a fake hand gun so we're rising so slow so slow instead of the scream it's you guys going oh shit there's no one here it looks like it looks like they came into this room and because no one knows about this chamber you think they just went oh they're not here so we can do even more surprise so that the captain's council does not know about the chamber but the medge I do because that ring of keys brought us down that ring of keys a couple of the keys you assume do unlock other cells so they probably just thought it's a every ring of keys has some keys nobody knows what they do okay it's like Billy had to turn the key a weird way basically for that chamber to open which he could do because he's a little thief little lockmaster didn't even realize he was doing it he was just like why is this he was just jiggling it back and forth but unknowingly doing a very complicated series of!

You do hear voices till like you know up and down basically these stairs so there are people nearby but they're not in this room you do have a few moments okay I take a few moments I carve storm and Norman was here in the closest like really big stone use the axe in the side of the wall I do my best I carve a like a portrait of storm and Norman massive yeah so in the time that you have to potentially prepare an ambush you spend all of that doing graffiti which I roll for you don't have to roll for this you're wasting your time willingly wow alright guys up or down let's go up up wait got to go up to go down let's get up yeah yeah okay you can go up wait it wasn't it you got to go in to get out you got to go down to get up okay so does that mean we go down should we less difficult to climb the stairs if you're going down it that's true at first but then you got to go up to get away from down hey!

What are you doing in here there is a guy that has walked up the stairs as you guys were arguing about which way to go and he's just standing there and he's got a club in his hands and he points at you goes right here and then I start sabotage again fight with honor I'm rolling plus con ten hole to get three all right oh wow I got six I need oh I will help thank you yeah totally how do you help how do I help I shoot first is what I do oh yeah totally great that'll help so two yeah two d six plus bond oh I only got four okay well at least I get some experience on a miss hold one chibi enemies already have drop on you so I think I thought it was like a rock or a dagger but it was actually a crayon yeah because I was coloring in the mural yeah great!

So Billy your danger sense like sorry I just saw Billy like run slow motion slide on your knees underneath and like kill his heel take a big swipe in his face like eyes wide and just this crayon like breaks against the back of his heel yeah oh shit and he he kicks you away as he steps forward and ving roll a d6 okay three yeah he clocks you across the face and you take three damage Wow with a stick he clubs me he clubs you Billy you're dead Billy your failure on that was on your shoot first was your danger sense is pinging so much because there are people coming from below now and above Either your allies are rallied and take plus one forward or your enemies feel fear and act accordingly.

Okay. So here we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 2d6 plus charisma. Here we go. Seven plus three is ten. Holy shit. So much charisma. Okay. So describe what you do. Yeah, I pop sabotage again because I see people actually coming and then I jump from across the room and knee this first guy in the face after he kicks Billy out of the way. Okay. Yeah. So roll a hack and slash on that. Here we go. Eight. Okay. So roll your damage and then roll a d6. Nine. Oh, no. And then three. Wow. Okay.

So you pop sabotage this music bottle that somehow is not run. I keep buying new ones. Yeah. He has a monthly subscription. Yeah. And you just like scream like you just roar at these people as you jump forward and take a step forward. Take this guy down. Yeah. He it's the thing where like I hit him and then it's like one of those like Newton's cradles where he just slams backwards. Yeah. Yeah.

But as you're coming down on him, his club is oriented in such a way that it hits the ground and then jams you in the nuts a little bit. So it ignores armor. I imagine. Yeah. You take three damage fully to your nut zone and the people behind him see this happen. And they all run away. Yeah. So three people on the stairs just go and then run back the other way. I think the most unsettling thing is them seeing me get hit in the nards and then getting angrier. Yeah. Like barely react. Yeah.

So Billy and Ving tuck did this incredible leap into a smash chasing off one whole group of people who will, you know, probably try and regroup. But for the moment, they're gone as four other guards come down from the room above. You with a motley assortment of weapons. You know, somebody's got a knife. Someone's got a club. Someone's got a ball on a chain. Whoa. And they're all rushing down the stairs at you. Are these guys pirates or are they druids? These are pirates. Okay. Yeah.

I am going to run really fast and punch a bunch of their knees out. Okay. First, you're gonna have to roll a defy danger dexterity to get close enough. Okay. Plus two is 11. Fuck. Yeah. Yep. That is not a problem. That is enough of a success. I'm going to say that you could do sneak attack on this if you want. I'm going to do that. Okay. So that's. I like when you don't know what a move is and you just roll the dice and then look at me. Yeah. So let's see. Figure it out, Sean. So backstab.

Remember, you don't. You can choose to deal your damage without rolling or you can roll plus dexterity and choose these options. I will roll dexterity. Okay. So set. Seven plus two is nine. So on a seven tonight, I choose one. Yeah. I guess I'll deal damage. Deal your damage plus one D six. Holy shit. I told you guys this a thousand times. So you roll your damage die, which I believe is an eight. Six. And then you roll a D six and add it. Holy fuck. One. Okay. So seven. Seven. It is.

This is enough for you to take out two of the four. Holy shit. Okay. Cool. So you roll a D six. I punch them so hard. It's not permanent damage, but their kneecaps like move like out of place. Yeah. And that's it for them. They're not moving after that. Yeah. So you catch. You're so quick to react that you zip forward under their weapons and you smack their kneecaps out of place and the two in the front go fuck and just fall to the ground going. Oh, how do you hear tuck throw up?

Because it's, it's so gross because their kneecaps are on the sides backwards like a flamingo. Oh, I also throw up a bit. I didn't know what I was doing. There are two, there are two more guards that basically leap over Billy as they see their compatriots get knocked down. They made the mistake of jumping in the air. I'm going to meet them midair. Oh no. I have my elemental bandolier. Oh yeah. I grab a handful of water and then, um, um, um, a little bit of, um, wind.

This is the quietest I've ever heard you. In the middle of a fight. I think he just seems to look at his hand. That was so funny. Wind. Wind. Uh, so you pop one of the corks on your bandolier and there's wind in it. Cool. That's pretty, that's pretty sick. Where's this wind from? Down south. It's a fart. I farted into it. I put it in my bandolier and I was like, oh yeah, I was going to prank tech with that. Yeah. One of the primal elements, the fart breaking wind. All right.

So you've got a handful of water and a handful of water and I meet the mid, mid air and I, um, use elemental form and transfer me. My body into a form made of the raw elements. Hell yeah. Okay. I roll plus con 10, three hold seven to nine, two. That's sick. You can basically like open any of these and make a mech around you of the elements of a wind and water. Cool. Sick. So it's like this crazy fog, man. Cool. Yeah.

Like a cloud, a cloud man meeting, I'm meeting them up in the cloud and I'm like, storm clouds are brewing seven. Okay. So I get two holds. Cool. And you arrive in a form made of clouds. Yeah. Hell yeah. Uh, and I just, yeah, lightning strike down on these guys. Fuck. Yeah. So are you using both of your hold basically to do your damage? Yeah. As hard as I can on both of them on a D 10. Yeah. Cause you're using the elements on one guy. I got six. He's done.

And, uh, the other guy, I say you need a bath and I got two. And then you hit him with lightning. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So, okay. So you take out one of them and you seriously injure another one. What can you describe this? What like L what animal form does the cloud take as you approach them? Hmm. Ooh.

It's just like, you know, when you look up at cloud and it's like, whatever you, Oh, it's like whatever you think you see, like everyone is seeing a different animal. Yeah. There's a turtle in there. Somebody sees a bottlenose dolphin. Yeah. That one looks like my dad. Yeah. I gotta call my dad. Something's wrong. Uh, yeah. So my dad, uh, made of clouds leaps towards these two Patrick O'Hara and you hit one of them with a bolt of lightning.

Basically with the, with the, the water ones, it shoots them up into the ceiling and the, the wind one, I grab a whole love and I dropped down to the ground and try and like exert more wind, but it, it wasn't as strong. Cool. But you still like fucking rock bottom. This guy made of clouds. Fucking sick. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, and you're, as you hit the ground, that cloud form dissipates and you are left on the ground with this dude's neck, like in a choke hold. Basically somebody slap on me.

He's still awake. Tuck runs up and smacks him really hard. Thank you. Uh, he's restrained. So you don't have, just roll your damage. Six. Yep. Toast. So you just walk up and smack him in the face. Yeah. Yep. He's knocked out. Um, so yeah, you chased a group of people downstairs, basically tech. Uh, um, it sounds like there aren't that many pirate guards left. You get the idea that maybe the captain's council isn't here, but now you can go upstairs and run away if that's what you desire.

Um, I go up to one of the pirates. I knocked the knee out of, and I asked him, where is Perel and Maggie? Not telling you nothing kid. You have to tell me, um, because I said, so I'd listen to a man. I would like to, I'd like to use the fairy child move to charm an individual for a while. Okay. So what does it look like? As you charm this guy? I just boop his nose, my finger because I said, so every time I say that I boop his nose, every syllable. Yeah.

I said, so he goes, okay, there, this is a guy whose knees are on the back of his leg. Yeah. He's in extreme, in pain right now. It's just like, they're, they're down below where in the deep dungeon, in the deep dungeon. What's which way do I go down? But you got, you gotta be careful kid. You should just leave. It's too dangerous. Nothing's too dangerous for me. And I run away to the way he told us to go. And the guy's sitting there with a tear going down. Once you can, he goes, he's so brave.

Oh man. Okay. Okay. So you descend the stairs. You're following basically the, the pirates that you chased. Yeah. So you continue down these spiral staircases, uh, as old as the carven chambers above you felt. You feel the weight of ages as you continue down the staircase. It goes from carved steps to just like stones placed. Yeah. Things that look like they've been worn by dripping water over millennia.

And, and there is a point in your descent where the color of the stone changes from like a deep gray to like an alabaster white. Whoa. And you begin to hear some voices and you hear torches burning like the flickering and guttering of torches. And then you also hear through, it sounds like gritted teeth, extreme pain. Oh, oh, you guys are fucked now. They're coming and they're going to get us out of here. And you're going to be sorry you ever fucked with us. Is it Maggie?

It sounds a lot like Maggie. That's awesome. And you come down the stairs into a chamber of the same alabaster white stone of some form. Ving, this stone looks totally foreign to you. You have no idea what that is. This is, and you enter this tall chamber, probably 10, 15 foot high ceiling, kind of in this rough dome shape. And on the far end of the room, you see two stone pillars that reached to the ceiling. Hmm. There's still egg tights that connect to the floor. Yes.

There's still egg tights that naturally descend from the ceiling to the floor and chained to one on her knees is Maggie Cole. It looks like she's been worked over. Whoa. Um, but she's like beaming as she catches sight of you through one swollen eye and a chain to the other pillar. Unconscious is parole untouched and unconscious. He passed out instantly. You can see a little puddle of sick next to him. They punched him once.

There's like, there's a transcriber sitting behind him, but it was still filling out all the guts that he spilled. Immediately writing down his entire life story. It was just recipes though. Uh, you see the group of, uh, pirates that tuck chase down the stairs, standing very close together, like shaking weapons, rattling in their hands as they see you enter the room in the middle. You see a roughly hewn altar of some kind that looks like it's made out of a different kind of stone.

Like it was brought in here over the stone. You see spread like a skin or a hide. And facing, uh, upwards, you see what looked like writings and drawings on this hide and standing behind this altar between the altar and Maggie and Perel. You see, and you see Roth. What the fuck? Roth. That's where we're going to end it for this week. He was in the library. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz.

So long playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul offers by playing fat Billy, the, the halfling thief, Jessica tie. Bye everyone. Thanks as always to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. Uh, thank you to all of our supporters around the world.

If you want us to support the show and get access to a bunch of cool bonus stuff, including a whole, uh, world of blades campaign set in the high spear mall, uh, starting the cool treat kids, uh, almanac entries released monthly and a variety of other cool shit. Uh, check us out at patrion.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money, please. And we'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can, though dumb and scared and lost.

Maybe for times of breast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I gladly.

Uh if you like spout more no wait is this me or if you like Spout Lore and you want to hear more of it go to patreon.com Spout Lore and maybe if you give them enough money they'll release me and we can see each other again I've been in this bar for years save me gather around friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tuck is the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight this is a story of two heroes a brute a thief and a thief who is but nine years old Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz. Hello everybody. Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers. Good day. And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai. Hello everyone. When last we left our heroes. You alright? Yeah I just puked a little bit in my mouth. Awesome. I drank too much coffee. No you drank the right amount of coffee in three seconds. Yeah Paul casually mentioned that Abdul looked kind of tired.

So Abdul looked Paul in the face. And slammed an entire Americano in one go. 14 ounces like it was nothing. Quad shot. He's gonna die. He's gonna die. He's gonna barf on Mike. When last we left our heroes. The infiltration of the Lightguard Fort. Containing hopefully Maggie and Perel had begun in earnest. Tuck began the day slash episode by absolutely slapping the shit out of a magi. And then they swiftly forgot about the fact. That they were here for Maggie and Perel.

And started investigating the room they were in. If you found like what is basically a movie theater. When when you forget to. That you direct with your hands. Yeah after some prompting from the players. We discovered a secret chamber beneath the room. They were in hidden beneath a descending floor. Containing some kind of reliquary of the light guard. Including chipped and faded paintings on the wall. That once a fire was lit in the brazier in the center. Became. A moving portrait of sorts.

And seems to tell the tale of Lillian's war. AKA the grieving. It depicted the blood moon. The shattering pieces of that moon falling to the earth in various spots. So cool. Which led us to the discovery that perhaps the four frost isles. Are part of a fragment of the moon or contain a fragment of the moon. Through that. We then swiftly connected. Some dots thinking. Oh man. Maybe they want to chain the spirit of the moon. Maybe that's why they needed things power and the knife.

And maybe that's why they've drawn you here with Maggie and Perel acting as bait to get you into a trap. Shit. What else do we find? We found a shard of a mirror a gigantic mirror. Mm-hmm. A huge piece that seems to when you look in it. Show you an image of a room buried in sand with shafts of light coming down through the ceiling. It's got some kind of magical signature. Yeah. Hmm. It belonged to a Macallan wizard at some point. Right. What was the other thing we learned?

We learned a bunch of little stuff. A bunch of little things looking at the painting. Yeah, the painting was another version of the the breaking of the chain. The breaking of the chains, which is the painting from Aquarius study. Yes, which depicted from what we could tell the wizard war, but this version depicted the grieving. Mm-hmm. Which makes you think maybe the breaking of the chains was based upon an older painting. Oh, I like that a lot.

Like it still does depict the wizard war, but it was based on an older painting. Like finding a Sistine Chapel, but with like cave people or something. Exactly. Like their fingers are pointing each other. Hey. Yeah. Exactly. They're wearing like hides and poking each other with bones. Poking each other with bones. Yeah. We learned that in this room or maybe in this place, the waning knife gives off a bright light because we knew before that it reflected in certain angles. The light of the moon.

The light of the moon without giving off. Actual visible light, but for some reason now it glows brightly. Yeah, then you guys decided to go up guns blazing and just rose into the chamber above you pop to cork on a sabotage bottle. Mm-hmm. Got ready to fight. Yeah, nobody had some time to prepare an ambush and instead carved storm and Norman was here into the wall. It's like I carved effigy of storm and Norman into the wall full on portrait. Like he's dead like it was an in memoriam.

It's beautiful. Mm-hmm. It's like when you go to the bathroom. You go to the beach and they're having those sandcastle competition. Yeah, he's like leaning against the wall. I took the wall back like four feet left him like leaning there like it's amazing. And then while you were arguing about whether to go up or down and whether you needed to go in or to get out or get up to get down or whatever the fuck you were surprised by a guard, but then you beat ass for a while.

Mm-hmm billion Ving took down four people tuck took down one guy and scared the others off and after questioning. Yeah. One of the surviving guards you descended into some sort of ancient Moon Temple to find Maggie chain to a pillar. I still a stalactite Perel unconscious also chain to a pillar an altar in the center of the room with a skin over top of it a group of terrified Pirates. It's irk the Magi and Roth. Oh, and that is where we find our heroes. Now.

How the fuck did you get out of the library Roth? Ha. He laughs villainously. What's funny about that? You think your pathetic library could hold me? Yeah, I did. I don't know. We assume that when we left and that was your error. What are you doing here? I believe you have something that belongs to me. Ving starts messing with his belt. Give me the knife submit to me and this will all be over soon. Oh, he's like, oh, I think I have it right here under one of his pocket flaps.

It flips on the bird. It's like no thing for real. No, for real. We do have it and then tuck takes off his backpack and he puts it in and then he takes it out and he's doing the shocker. Billy's like no, they gave it to me to hold and then he pats around his tummy and then does like the upside down bird hands on his face. And Maggie starts laughing so hard. We look like. We look like idiots. And Roth goes enough. Don't make this any worse than it has to be. And we're all doing the bird.

I face this and things are doing this. What's it have to be? And he draws back his hand and he fires a bolt of pure flame directly at being being steps in front of the kids. Oh, right. I forgot your walks towards him as he's shooting fire. All right. That sounds like a fight with honor. He's really pissed me off. Eight. So we get to okay to Chi. Yeah, the fight begins.

Basically being starts striding towards Roth who begins punching bursts of flame at him as the three remaining pirates decide whether or not to attack Billy. I sidle along the walls towards the pirates and I'm just going to try to talk to them. Oh, you're just going to try and talk to him. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Roll a defy danger charisma to get them to talk to you. Eight. Okay. So it's going to work kind of but not really. What do you say to these guys?

I guarantee you don't want to be here for this. They're like, but you guys are between them in the door basically and they're like looking behind you at the door. Like we we have to. And tuck. And tuck like stretches and like pops every muscle. It's weird to look at. It sounds like it and I guess he's either doing war cry or what are you waiting for? It sounds like war cry. Billy has basically stopped them from attacking for a moment.

So you guys can further convince them to get the fuck out of here. Yeah. So go ahead and roll. What is it? Two D six plus Constitution. Nope. Plus charisma. Four cry. Nine. Okay. And Billy's aiding. True. Yeah. Billy roll two D six plus bond. Six. Oh my God. That's okay. I could. I'll use a fairy child to turn a failed roll into a seven to nine. Fun. Oh, right. Yeah. Okay. So take one away and Billy's like ambient fairy energy lights tucks body in a way that makes him look even more shredded.

It is. It is. It looks like I'm in a cut phase, which I'm definitely not. I'm still in a book face and they all just kind of look in terror at both of you and then break and try and run around you to the door and tuck leg as they're running by him goes to scare. Yeah. And start dude seriously.

And start dude seriously we're already leaving they drop all their weapons and they sprint up the stairs I grab some of their weapons hell yeah not a crayon uh and uh ving you get within striking distance of roth as he he's backing up but you close the distance quick enough he wasn't expecting you to walk through the fire okay on this last boat of fire I use elemental form to transmute my body into a form made from the raw element so I let his fire encompass me into a fire suit oh fuck yeah and I'll use mid nature's fury his own fire against him and um hack and slash um kick side into his chest it's wild how fucked like an elementalist is against you right now yeah totally oh I I have fight with honor so I have two of those so I could just deal my damage to a foe within reach five five yeah so how do you hit him I I sidekick like slow matrix style like yeah with my leg staying up in the on the air yeah so you can and he reels back flame arcing up towards the ceiling and uh gains his footing and prepares for another strike tuck and billy irk is there he's in a stance and he's like just looking at you not sure what to do I was thinking it would be maybe funny if we rushed him and pretended to yeah that's what I was thinking but like talk to him at the same time yeah and so like tuck and billy look at each other with their eyebrows up like and we wink loudly at each other you guys hear the like our eyes make a blink sound that's the sound that irks I makes he winks back okay so one of you roll a defy danger I guess both of you defy your charisma here we go whoa shit 13 god six can I aid billy because we're at the same time so yeah yeah here we go at nine okay so how do you aid me uh by doing a stage whisper being like we're gonna pretend to fight two two three three three three two two here we go because roth is distracted oh yeah totally he's he's fully fighting ving right now so you guys rush irk and start pretend fighting him yeah okay so as you're running at him he starts punching and kicking forward and you feel no you feel gusts of air whip past your head but like he's missing you and as it's happening Tuck's going ow oh so Tuck's doing it convincingly pretending to fall and Billy's doing it less convincingly Billy is reeling back at like the wrong time like his timing is off he's really slow and then he's doing too much acting so he's saying things like my fair rosy skin how blemished it has become and bruised you know I bruise like a little peach owie I hit my toe I am slain and every once in a while your hair and clothes go like poof as Urk hits you with a puff of air to try and make it look believable so you get close and you're now like hand to hand fighting quote unquote and what are you saying to Urk dude what the fuck's going on what do you mean like the thing what the fuck is happening here he's honestly told me like so little where is the book what do you mean where's the book you were supposed to get me that book it's right there oh that's the book and he kind of like turns and does a punch towards the altar at the skin oh the skin is the book it's got a book it's a text that's the text oh and what about that note you left me what do you mean note the one under the bed that's the only one you found where are the others what do they say I said I left like a dozen oh my god so can I steal the book really slowly I mean I don't know if you could should I steal the book I say to Tuck and I'm like why did we want the book again I don't remember to find out the secrets of the magi right yeah true and all it says from fighting across the room it's together and then I'm like yeah also probably without it like Roth can't do whatever the fucked up thing he's trying to do here at this point the fight has become not believable and we're just punching in the air and we're dancing next to each other he's doing it too I will say that Roth will recognize what you're doing eventually but in the meantime he slides back from Ving's devastating sidekick and does a little spin to kind of get his momentum going and comes up with a new move with his heel and a back kick and as he kicks at the altar a slice of rock snaps off of the altar like a saw blade and whips through the air towards you what do you do can I block it somehow yeah you could roll like a defend or defy danger dexterity to like dodge out of the way constitution to take the hit lots of stuff okay I'm gonna try and use my harpoon that's been on my back and try and like ping it up yeah and I want to try and recover it and use the blade against him oh totally yeah give me a defy danger dexterity to kind of angle the staff right or the harpoon 10 perfect so you like bullet time style the rock slices through the air you knock it out of the way it continues past you and you've I reach behind me and grab it as it's flying past me like blindly grab it yeah you've got time to like manipulate the elements yourself I grab it I bring it back I crush it and then I elongate it into a spear and put it in my mouth and put it on my harpoon and then go with the spear so fucking sick and because it's an element that I've attached to the spear I get to use my things your d10 yes three you still have to roll hack and slash I can't wait or you can spend one of your fight with honor 10 hack and slash okay yeah now you deal your damage for sure okay for sure one so okay here's how I imagine this happening the stone blade starts to roll the circle blade like whips past you you reach behind you but like in a spin behind you to continue your momentum crush it it elongates the spike on your harpoon yeah which you stab towards Roth and it comes towards his chest and he's got both of his arms bent at a 90 degree angle and he just snaps the blade off oh cool cool cool yeah I see that I'm like shit damn but you do still like one damage like shards of blood one damage like shards of blood shards of the rock still slice into his flesh oh sick oh so there's an opening into his flesh there is an opening into his flesh he's actually got many openings into his flesh he's got two on his face one below his nose one in his butt yeah keep going one in his pee hole two in his deer pant has so we'll cut back to uh tuck and billy fighting quote unquote irk what's the plan here um I okay there it's like a several layer plan I would like to create a convincing illusion and steal the text and sort of make it seem like I like the text is still there roll a defy danger dexterity to basically run up and grab it okay without being seen uh dexterity so nine plus two eleven and I pretend like irk kicked me yeah great and I grab it yeah as I'm falling and as you grab it off the the off the altar uh the image remains on the top of the altar so cool yeah and I roll and I as I'm rolling on the floor um I roll it up like scroll it up and shove it under my clothes yeah great wow it's quite a large skin you're able to get it under your shirt but it's like not gonna hold up to much scrutiny no and I definitely like fold it in places I shouldn't have yeah like if if uh if farah saw you do this she would cry yeah um but I was not gentle but and the spine boy the spine I'm sorry but you don't have to hold it it's now it's secure in your shirt it's just not hidden it's just like puffed it's out of the corner oh my my bones my little bones have broken uh tuck what do you do you see billy uh roll across the floor and grab the grab the text from the altar I think I would I'm gonna keep pretending to fight with irk but I'm gonna try and get some information out of him okay about like what like what his end game is here mm-hmm yeah totally um okay so you're gonna have to roll another defy danger charisma if you're gonna get like a bunch of info basically okay oh shit nine okay you can ask him one question okay uh it's kind of like the the dark star trek scene where it's like you're like holding on to each other yeah with the axe yeah totally uh and uh I'm like dude what the fuck is roth trying to do here I don't know and he uh ducks and goes I don't know like poof like your hair you feel your beard go as he gives you a little puff in the chin I do a little jump to pretend that he hit you hard oh my beard it's like there's some kind of spirit in this place and and roth wants it he wants its power cool that's about what we thought too I think it's the spirit of like a part of the moon or something oh my god you can't let him do that why uh uh uh kick spin and it's we're like doing capoeira right now kind of dancing back and forth I kind of feel like I've explained to him like yeah we found a room that was like it was about the grieving it was about the war and it said that a piece of the moon landed beneath the island after the shattering from what I know uh block punch uh he's saying block punch yeah he's going through stances in his mind like kata basically he's like we we bind the primordial spirits because they're the simplest they're the the their power is uh ubiquitous but spread out so we can chain them more easily but spirits like the moon the sun the planet nobody messes with those and then I grab him in a bear hug and we start rolling around on the ground again no you'll never get me I'm like why not they're too powerful what do you mean they're basically gods oh okay that was because he accidentally stabbed me yeah spirits like that are strong enough from what from what we've learned to have embodiments on the material plane like people kind of think that's it like people yeah you know the story of Lillian yeah yeah okay I get I got you okay he can't he cannot be allowed to do this okay I'll try and stop him okay okay now uh just like pretend to knock me out okay and then I actually knock him out I try and hit him really softly and do I roll you're gonna roll divide into strength to not knock him out pull your punches okay 12 okay you're able to control your strength enough that you can't knock him out but you don't knock him out and he goes like a like a street fighter yeah and he lands on the ground and goes and sticks his tongue out to the side and pretends to fall asleep and Tuck goes into like the superhero crouch yeah victory Tuck wins and Ving Roth prepares for another strike okay I want to discern realities to get insight into how he's fighting okay 2d6 plus wisdom okay I've got 8 okay so you get one question what here is useful to me yeah okay something that you notice is uh he stopped using fire for sure um he avatar style seems to have like a skin on his like hip that he is using to like fire bursts of water at you once in a while oh um and he has bent he has used the stone from the altar to fight you but he doesn't appear to be manipulated by the stone in this chamber mm-hmm like he is either unable to or unwilling to oh so that's something that you notice is that he's not like he could try and crush you if he was just like in a regular stone chamber but he's not yeah but he can use this stone in the middle mm-hmm so right now what he's doing is he's using a cushion of air to basically like surf around you to try and get a better angle uh to attack you sure and so when he goes around me I'm gonna elemental my form and be left standing um being made of the stone the white alabaster stone in the room ooh okay okay because I noticed that he's not using it in it yeah totally seemed to be a barrier roll plus con nine nine sick oh use an 88 I will aid how okay how um so Billy feels Ving trying to pull something like it's almost like he feels like that spirit energy like flowing through him mm-hmm and he knows he's like pulling from I'm pulling on the spirit of the moon yeah whoa so Billy's going to aid Ving by acting as like a conduit sort of for the moon energy to flow through him yeah nice totally so sick it's very like instinctual thing for him yeah okay 2d6 plus bond eight okay nice great great!

So you reach out with your like fairy perception trying to find the barrier between where this energy exists and the material world um to kind of bring it forth into this plane uh you connect and you feel and also kind of see like a light brightening around you like for a moment like everything seems to brighten and then a memory comes to you unbidden you see!

A beach like a stony beach trees evergreen trees on the coastline uh the waves crashing against the shore and you feel just like total contentedness mhm and uh you look to your side and you see a maybe mid thirties man very lean uh with like a small like close crop dark beard and dark hair like down kind of like to his uh shoulders and he smiles at you and you feel yourself smile at him and then you hear a voice and a laugh and you look behind you and a young boy runs down the beach to you and then you're back in this room pretty sad and I look up at Ving and Ving you feel this like wave of spiritual energy crash towards you and it's a lot of grief a lot of grief and love and that's that uh gives you the little kind of boost that you need to take your elemental form you just you just reach out with this energy you try and do like your usual thing like envision an animal and create a form uh and instead what happens is you feel this change come over you as you sheath your body in pure moonlight and you feel a form take place around you as you take on the shape of uh a massive wolf wow oh wow sick guys am I a wolf right now Billy Nod wide eyed yes yeah holy shit whoa this conversation is not happening I should say but everybody looks in this direction and you can see this like wolf made of moonlight and you can see Ving it's kind of like humanish wolf almost like werewolfy yeah totally bipedal wolf halfway between because it's connected to the moon cool and you're like oh my god it's like Roth like skids to a halt uh on his air cushion and he looks at you wide eyed and goes no and I pounce on him all fours and try to connect my all fours to the ground and make a cage around him and pin him to the ground okay damn yeah use a defy danger strength or one of your hold I guess yeah well um it's a wolf thing to hold things down great I'll spend my hold you pounce on him and these like brilliant white shining jaws clasp around his neck and and hold him down and he struggles and you just hear him repeating no no no no no Billy uh you see this wolf holding Roth to the ground what do you do uh I go unlock Maggie um you run up and Maggie is there and she goes Billy hi Maggie hi I knew I knew you'd get here I knew you'd get here sooner or later once once you're free I'm gonna need you to unlock Perel all right and she kind of like moves to get the locks closer to you I only got a six Tuck can you help me yeah sure and I just grab it and pull the chain oh thanks 2d6 plus bond uh set eight yeah and Tuck reaches forward and goes here let me hold it for you clank there unlock it that was that was pretty good wow teamwork Billy nice job high five you hear the smallest that was the smallest that was the smallest and Maggie stands up and you know like rubs her wrists where the manacles were and looks at Perel and goes we gotta get him and we gotta get out of here there are definitely more of these guys coming yeah did you see like a weird rap dude with goggles and kind of like a ranged weapon on their back yeah I don't know what his deal is but you do not want to get within his line of sight okay can I try and rip Perel's manacles off as well yep 2d6 plus strength here we go uh 15 oh my god you actually you grab them and they turn to dust in your hands I'm a monster you pull them so hard and then you look and you realize both of Perel's arms are still attached to the manacles uh yeah no you get them right off and Perel is uh stirring but unconscious I shake him a little bit I'm like are you okay buddy he looks he was definitely beat up a little bit but he's doing he's alive he's alive for sure and I smack him on the face I was like you did good talk yeah is Ving here yeah we're here to save you guys no you don't need to save us you need to save Ving you need to get him out of here right now wait what are you what the fuck are you talking about and you hear footsteps as people start pounding down the stairs towards you shouting and um more like a group of magi enter the room and start spreading out uh and Ving you've got Roth under your jaws I want to use the tattoo ink that I took from Roth and the magi knife to give him some sort of tattoo to either tether him in place or to overload his power or to give him power that he doesn't want that brings balance to the power that he does have I don't know something what do you think that's fucking sick I think that's really cool I think yeah let's figure out how you do that the only thing is that like you don't really know how this ritual works you don't know how the magi tattooing actually works works but you do know that there's a text in the room that outlines the ritual oh Perel uh yeah if he were able to get the text from Billy he might be able to study it really quickly so he's like get the heck here now because my mouth is around the guy's neck Billy is smart and he knows things because we're always yelling at him when we're brushing our teeth yeah they're always telling me like in circles don't brush too hard I'm like he wants the text so I throw it to Perel catch 2d6 plus dexterity 7 okay okay!

So um you throw it through the air Perel goes like huh and then it hits him in the chest and he goes oh he kind of flops his arms around it you have to read it okay alright use your nerd powers okay alright give me some give me some time we have no time and he starts looking around for his glasses and then Tuck like the hero he is reaches into his little backpack and pulls out his nerd glasses and hands them to Perel he goes what ugh he opens them up and puts them on and goes they're my exact prescription and then Tuck like puts his hand on his shoulder and he's like we're more alike than you think friend and he takes them off and he looks at him and goes these are my glasses and then Tuck gives him a little salute and then runs to help Billy yeah totally and you can see Perel I stole from you you do the two fingers salute and then you jump off the thing oh yeah Perel unrolls the text and starts to talk to him and then he starts to talk to him and starts reading it very quickly and as you're running Tuck you run around the altar to get to Billy and you see Maggie like take two steps plant a foot on the altar and leap off of it towards the group of magi so sick it looks like that one scene from the Avengers 2 where they're all jumping at the same time yeah totally yeah and yeah I wanna just as she's jumping over my shoulder throw her my spear whoa oh yeah sick yeah yeah totally so she snatches that out of the air and comes down and just like plants it through somebody and Tuck goes whoa holy shit it was the janitor from earlier no wow the elevator attendant who was just emptying a garbage can it's fucking speared schlock that better not be true it's not it's a magi and Billy you've been you've been surrounded what do you do I pull out my spear I pull out the sick sword that I stole from the pile of weapons that the pirates left behind and one of them is like one of those like swashbuckler swords and I start doing like cool like whoo whoo flippy flips with the sword and it's one foot longer than Billy's entire body yeah that's why I have to do that okay I like it give me a so you're they're close enough you can just give me a defy danger or sorry a hack and slash 11 oh Jessica has the knife okay she's whipping it around swashbuckle swashbuckle she's buckling a bunch of swashes right now look at all those buckles oh my god you almost cut your own poobs off almost yeah so roll your roll your damage just your straight damage no fancy shit seven oh my god wow I slit some throats yeah because it's so long they unfortunately magi are a little tougher than these pirate folks so you're only able to take down one but yeah tell me how you take them down yeah he gets in the way of me of my six swashbuckling um just nicks his jugular he's done oh my god I'm so sorry I say I didn't mean to kill you I just meant to wound you and he's just laying on the ground like blood spurt he's got his hand on his neck he's like what the fuck I told you to leave me alone little kid but you see uh thankfully you see his hand ices over whoa and it looks like he's just holding his neck closed with some sort of frozen bandage but he like scoots he pushes with his heels and scoots along the floor to like a corner of the room but holds his uh his jugular frozen shut that's cool tuck what do you do um a magi rushing down the stairs uh sees you rushing towards him and punches forward twice and two fist-sized chunks of the steps behind him uh whip forward towards you I wanna jump and do a front flip over the rocks okay historically never landed one of these no not once canonically this is amazing 2d6 plus dexterity holy shit 12 oh my god what a miracle you run forward you leap even just like the beginning of your leap one passes right under your nose and then you flip your whole body over the second one and the magi goes oh yeah oh yeah and then magi this is the magi these are my legs crotch right in the face he gets a face full of your nuts yeah and I'm wearing the kimono so it's all out there flapping in the wind alright it's the fuck bag it's the whole t-box hack and slash 2d6 plus strike 10 10 alright roll your damage 7 okay uh yep this is enough to take out this guy so you just this smell is too intense oh my god we've been down this cave for a while yeah it's getting musty jessica's laughing so hard she's not doing it into the mic but she is laughing but uh you so you ride this guy's face down to the floor jessica laughing into the mic uh and he smacks his head onto the stone floor and is unconscious he smacks his head on your stone floors oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god your stones smack his head into the floor yeah um and you feel uh like a burning grip as two hands clasp on your shoulders smoldering and try and pull you back into the room uh ving mhm you are a wolf mhm a man made of light and you're you wanna and stone and stone so you've got roth under your jaws he's starting to gather himself and break loose okay I have a move called eye of the storm when I exert my will in a circle around me things calm elements calm the earth calms below my feet fires calm I wanna use that and use um he's an elemental form so I wanna exert my eye of the storm on his power yeah well and I mean but now that I think about it depending on the role you might be able to eliminate the elemental manipulation of everybody in this room oh shit oh if I do it and I yeah cause or it's just gonna affect him cause it uh the eye of the storm he exerts his will in a circle around himself oh yeah and on a hit he rolls or it calms around you but on a seven to nine it affects only what you touch so he could come like the elemental storm within all of these uh magi yeah well I mean they like as they're calling it into being it would just dissipate yeah okay cool eye of the storm first time using it uh nope you used it before this is my first time today using it okay eight eight eight eight okay so you're only able to affect uh what you touch as long as you're touching it okay so you're holding roth and he uh as a last ditch effort he tries to like uh manipulate the stone the alabaster underneath him and I let go I mean I'm still touching him with like I'm I'm sitting on half his body yeah totally but I stand up like yeah as long as you're you're holding him as long as you're in bodily contact with him he can't like he punches forward and you see in his face uh that he's lost this connection he's like what have you done I boop his nose bats away your hand don't touch me are you still a wolf right now well I'm very much a wolf I can wolf paws boop his face uh yeah so you've got one more hold there if you want to keep it um but yeah he's struggling he's trying to like fight you fight you now you brought me here you wanted me here here I am let me up and you'll meet your destiny my destiny is coming to meet you and I pull out the magi knife from behind me oh and I'm I slice a spiral around my arm and I um I slice the magi knife right across his um that circle the the black circle in his the anchor tattoo the anchor tattoo oh yeah and I I push my arm down and I give him this is what you wanted you wanted you've have you're full of all the blood of all the animals you've ever taken I've ever taken you have the the blood of what I have been but you don't have the blood of what I am you want the power here it is and then I let it go and I I stand up I let go of him holy shit I un-eye of the storm so something you feel kind of through the spiritual background noise that you're always kind of perceiving here and there that he doesn't since you destroyed that tattoo with the knife uh with the tooth that connection that he had that chain you feel those spirits like leave this area holy shit you've unleashed the spirits that were connected to him your tattoos will no longer hurt you and he uh gets up stumbles to his feet as there's still a melee happening like you know 10 feet away and he runs his hand across his chest looks at the blood and just starts laughing pretty fucked up dude is what tuck says from where he because he hears the laugh and he's like what the fuck is wrong what'd you say did you tell a joke I don't like it when you have inside jokes with other people uh okay billy billy tuck uh you and maggie are uh fighting these magi they still have control of their elements although okay so one of them does this kind of jab to try and throw a gout of fire at you tuck and he's like and it goes like like it flares crazy big and you see him step back like he didn't expect it to be that powerful oh because the elements that roth had chained are kind of like loose in the area yeah oh it's like gasoline it is it and it like it's on his hand for a little bit longer than you can tell he wants it to be so he's like fuck like he's trying to blow it out sick oh my god I'm gonna try to use that against them yeah totally um maggie um basically gets the pole of uh ving's harpoon like behind the neck of one of them and just pulls him forward and fucking head butts him right in the nose oh great and uh oh yeah you guys realize you've never really seen her fight she's fucking savage so cool she's so she head butts this guy and then she grabs him by like the front of his like robe and turns and uses like the leverage of his weight and her like slightly lower center of gravity and just whips him over her shoulder onto the ground and follows it up with a pretty brutal stomp ving is like in this terrible moment maybe he regrets everything he's ever done and and roth is like power welling up and like ha ha and he's like like looking over at maggie like oh my god shaky fucking goal she does this spear maiden yeah she does this brutal stomp and then spins to start fighting another guy and she does this cool thing where she spins the staff around her neck like she's kind of guiding it with her hand and whipping it in a circle that's like extends around her holy shit I can do that she's doing like a fucking whirlwind maneuver sean keep describing how maggie is defeating everyone so we don't have to do anything yeah billy is just like he's just standing there mouth open like I could probably do that and he starts doing it with the sword like almost cuts his own head off goes to grab the sword give me that give me that I wanted to try but not with the fucking sword billy you see something interesting another magi starts rushing down the stairs and he sees you and you see him like do this low stomp on the stairs and the stone pushes him forward like throws him down the stairs but uh you could tell as soon as he launches himself his eyes go wide and he sails right over you and he slams into the ground and does a roll people are definitely losing control of their elements so billy what do you do I'm not sure I'm not sure I'm not sure um I I noticed that and I think sick um I grab another weapon off the pile on the floor from the pirates this time it is a I don't what a gun yeah that's pretty funny no it's not a gun I it's we don't have guns in our house in our world yeah that's true yeah we do that one guy does yeah that one guy that one you don't know what that is sure is there like a weapon that's like uh like a chain with like a short ball on the end of it for like beating people I I said one of them had a ball and chain yeah I think yeah that's why I grabbed okay the chain and ball so I'm basically like doing a little dance like spinning around my whole body with this trying to copy maggie cole's moves and I'm just saying like I'm maggie cole here here I'm going to do a little dance and I'm just saying like I'm maggie cole here here I'm going to do a little dance and I'm just saying like I'm maggie cole here here I am no that's not the right accent I'm maggie cole I'm swinging my sword around you get a momentum going where both of your heels are just pressed into the floor and the ball spinning you like a top yeah all right roll a hack and slash on this guy this poor man who just showed up five oh damn I don't do a good job oh fuck uh just miss him yeah you just fucking whiff it but uh okay all right um so you are trying to get this guy and he uh is still getting to his feet and he's able to like throw himself back at the last second before you clobber him and you hear something that's like a and uh feel like air whistle next to your head and a little puff of stone next to you did you just throw that at me it came from the direction of the stairs I look yeah at the top of the stairs just before they arc out of sight you see the cloth wrapped figure uh pointing whatever the device that he carries at you holy shit I want to go chase after that guy the guy on the stairs okay cool yeah uh tuck uh you you heard like a and you got a magi right in your face he's blowing gusts of air that are like throwing his own arms back but he's really trying to get a handle on it I see that billy's like going after that uh cloaked figure and I'm like you know what the magi could use a break from billy I'll let him take take the cloaked figure because billy's been fucking these magi and also they've got me I mean tucks like you whiffed the last one but you're doing a good job thanks you did cut that one guy's throat and he's still in the corner of the room trying to freeze his own neck shut but he's like billy's got that other guy and he's seeing all the spirit stuff that's going on he's like they're losing control because of the because of whatever ving is doing so tuck is wondering if he can amp that up like make it so these guys absolutely have zero control over their own powers so he's gonna use terry larry and chad uh for the blood god to uh hit them like a bell against like the stone floor and like red like try and get them like like a beacon resonating he's remembering back to when they were on the clear water and they all ate ghost root and it caused like a convergence of like something like a like a like a which is zero what a surprise oh my god shit uh so mark a point of experience okay and you totally still do that oh sick excellent you slam terry larry and chad against the ground against the stone ground doesn't break oh uh but this there is like a ringing as the metal connects with the stone and uh billy and ving you can feel the ringing and after it's like a huge gong and it's like a gong that echoes through the room and through other places and it's shaking the axe a lot like tuck usually doesn't have any problem holding on to it but it's like he's losing control of it now yeah and uh all of a sudden this like huge well of grief bursts up in you and me yeah and you ving and you billy and all of the magi and maggie everybody just for a second like you know you're like like you're like you're like like you're like you're like like you're like you're like like you're like you're like kind of wails I was gonna uncontrollably I love that idea I was thinking about that with the ringing of the cave and I'm on a wolf form and the moon yeah they starts matching the resonance and howling yeah being being begins howling uncontrollably and there's just this horrible keening despair does it does a memory come with it for billy it does yeah I'm back at the lake right so you're at the lake this is a different place than the shore you're at before uh it's a lake in a mountain valley you see like peaks five peaks all around you the coarse grit of the sand on your knees the dress that you wear is wet and torn in front of your body is a pile of stones and reeds are coming out of it and the wailing is coming from the reeds and you're just sobbing and wailing and screaming oh man and the sky starts to darken and then you're back in the room and the screaming continues ving yes roth uh is the last one of the two of us is wailing wailing yeah he's overcome with whatever this is and with it a change starts to come over him roll a you should defy danger wisdom perfect to determine sort of whether or not what you did was a good idea nine nine okay so he wails screaming and screams like you know tears at his hair and uh the moment passes everybody starts to kind of come down from this otherworldly grief and uh a change comes over him and a moment later you're looking at roth and then the next second you are looking at a towering polar bear whoa what and it roars in your face and it charges forward what do you do I I brace myself I I I I um as this moon-shaped wolf I uh howl at him and charge charge forward with all my strength okay uh I use my last hold to deal my damage cool okay yeah uh go ahead and roll your damage two two okay um yeah you the polar bear rushes forward on all fours takes a huge swipe at you uh you dodge out of the way claw it with your moon wolfman claw and it uh bellows as it stumbles to one side and as it skids to a halt for a second it's roth and he laughs and he goes you are not their master any longer I am and then there's a huge elk in front of you billy you started chasing after the uh the figure on the stairs yeah uh roll a defy danger dexterity because he manipulates some lever on the side of the thing he's carrying and moves it up to point at you again okay seven yep if you want to keep up on this path he's gonna tag you so I have to move out of the way basically yeah if you don't want to get hit you have to stop chasing him like you won't be able to get closer to him dang it unless I get hit unless you get shot then you can keep going I could get hit yeah you could get hit yeah I'll do that okay uh roll a d10 I'm scared is this one yeah yeah two two okay um you hear that and uh the air whistles the sleeve of whatever you're wearing like puffs with blood as uh you get like nicked and you've been nicked by lots of things this felt like a blade of some kind yeah it's searing hot yeah I keep I keep going though because I'm mad now oh my god he sees that he only clipped you and sees you sprinting at him and he's like oh my god I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared and he gets up and starts running up the stairs I'm gonna get you you son of a bitch how dare you corner me and my friends this way coward coward uh give me another defy danger dexterity to like catch up with him 12 holy shit yeah oh my god so like you're doing every other stair somehow just bounding uh and you round you round the like curve in the stairs and you see him.

He does not look like he is very athletic, but he is running as hard as he can up the stairs, but you're gaining on him. Tuck, you've just spent some time wailing with a grief you've never felt before, but you're starting to come to. And then, yeah, Tuck wipes tears from his eyes and snot from his nose. He's like, I think someone has a cat, maybe, or something. I didn't cry. I wasn't crying. You guys are crying. I'm a polar bear allergy. Yeah, that's what it was. It's a polar bear, I think.

And you wipe your eyes, and you see one of the Medjay, a young man who only moments before was manipulating some sort of fist sheathed in ice, like water abilities, is like weeping. And then the water starts, it keeps coming and coming. And then there's just torrents pouring from his eyes. Oh, shit. And he hits the ground, and he's just like gushing water everywhere. Okay. Yeah.

And the other ones, there's one left that is not being currently manhandled by someone, and they look like they're getting ready to run. And then Tuck does like the… The bully like deke where you go, boom, try to get somebody to flinch. He's like, get out of here. Okay, give me a defy danger charisma, I guess. Yeah, I would say. 13. 13. He stands there as you stare at him. And when you jerk forward, he goes, he just starts running.

And as you watch him run, you see Billy turn the corner and start running up the stairs too. Okay. I'm fine. Billy's fine. You already let him go. Yeah, I already made the decision to let Billy chase down a sniper, I guess. Get shot. And Maggie finishes a front chest kicking somebody into the wall and turns to you and goes, I can go get Billy. Check on Perel. Okay.

And I run and hop over the altar in the middle of the chamber and I kind of, I jump over it and then I hit on my knees and then skid over to Perel. And I was like, that was pretty cool. That was awesome. That was awesome. Tuck. Did you see that? Yeah, I saw it. Are your knees okay though? It's all stone. No, yeah. It's their ruin. You roll a Spout Lore. Oh shit. 2d6 plus intelligence. Eight. Eight. Okay. Something interesting, not useful.

Perel starts just gushing information, just info dumping on you. He's like, okay, it seems like it's some kind of old ritual for stealing power. It's called a rekindling, but it's also like a transference of power, but it requires the death of the one whose power is being taken. Oh shit. To be complete. Okay. Okay. So that's what Roth is trying to do. Right now. Yeah. I think he's trying to kill thing. Okay. I mean, any points.

And there's a huge elk trying to stamp Ving into the ground and you're like, yeah, he's trying to kill Ving for sure. You're right. We definitely have to stop him from killing Ving. Now that we have this new information, but I don't know. I can't tell. It looks like Ving just did it kind of forced his blood into him, gave him the power somehow. I don't know what kind of effect that's going to have. Okay. Like, is there any bad side effects to the fact that Ving did it? I don't know.

Oh, and he turns the thing to you and he's like, can you read? There's a bunch of like old drawings and like ancient ink. And I'm like, I would, but I don't have my glasses right now. Oh, of course. Convenient. Okay. I'm going to go try and help Ving with Roth. Yeah. That seems to be the best course of action right now. Okay. Ving, a huge elk is trying to stamp you to death. What do you do? I mean, did I hear that? Roll a discern realities. 12. Oh, that's plenty. You got three questions.

What here is not what appears to be. Something that you know that all druids have. Is a tell. Is a tell. Why that is. No one's really sure. He has human nuts. I kicked them. You can see his human dick and balls. That's a weakness. That's a weakness. Oh, man. That's great. That's way funnier than what I was going to do. No. But what I was going to say is no one is. Yeah. No one's really sure. I'm really sure why. Philosophically, druids have suggested that it's almost a pressure release.

It's the channeling of those energies between the material and the spirit requires some sort of conduit. So the power doesn't overwhelm the druid. Roth does not have a tell. This power was forced on him. And he is using it with wild abandon. What here is useful to me? He is using this power with wild abandon. Hmm. You can see as he continues to fight, the rage in him is definitely like a mid exacerbating factor. He is going at this with everything he's got.

If you were to keep him fighting to keep him angry. I got to infuriate him more. Yeah. What other question? What's about to happen? He is just going to keep trying to kill you with every ounce of his will. Yeah. And who knows what effect that's going to have? Oh, this is what I'm doing. I keep every. Because I've wounded him. Every time he comes closer, I'm putting more blood into him. Oh, pushing more of the power. Pushing more power. I like it. Hack and slash. Hack and slash. All right.

2d6 plus strength. I'm going to go underneath and try and get to that human digging balls. I got seven. Seven. Okay. So roll your damage and then roll a d10. Five. Okay. And then roll a d10 again. One. Okay. Great. Hell yeah. Yeah. So you go for his exposed dick and balls. Are we really saying that this is his tail? You go for his belly, basically. Like he's kicking up like he's doing elk fighting moves where he gets up on his hind legs and he's trying to clobber you with his front hooves. Yeah.

Revealing his relatively soft underbelly. Yeah. And his flaccid dick and balls. Yeah. You get in and you swipe him a couple times. Yeah. And he bellows. And you're like, oh, my God. You're going to get in your face again. This time the like throaty like shriek of an elk. And I take my wolf claws, scratch it across my cheek. Boom. More blood. Yeah. And he reels back and just head butts you and he just kind of pushes you back. But he stumbles a second and he flashes into his human body.

You see Roth for a second. He spits a bunch of blood on the floor. He's sweating. Yeah. He's like, and his eyes are just like bloodshot and wild. And then you're looking into his face. You're looking into the face of a towering humanoid oak tree. Whoa. And it just thunders forward. Tuck. You see Roth for a second, spit a bunch of blood on the floor and then become a tree person of some kind. Your mind flashes back to mudlark and sushi boat when Ving took a very similar form. Oh, right.

And this tree person starts thundering across the room. I run over to try and help Ving with this fight. Okay. Because I know that if we fight, we're going to win. If we can kind of like keep Ving alive for long enough, or this is what I think. If we can keep Ving alive for long enough, then like Roth is going to burn himself out. He's going to burn himself out. Yeah. Or something's going to happen. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Billy.

I try to grab onto one of the pieces of the wrappings that's hanging off this person. Nice. Defy danger dexterity. 10. Damn. 10. Yeah. So really nonstop. Huge hit. Grab. Onto it. This little dangly bit. And you pull off like a wrap that was like around this person's waist, basically revealing their. Human dick. Sorry. I'm sorry. Pull a bear dick about the hearing day. Okay. But they're wearing many, many layers. So you get like a layer of the lower half of what they're wearing.

But with it comes a pouch and the pouch hits the ground and scattering out onto the steps and clinking down around you are dozens of those blue magic crystals that you use all those ages ago to perform your magic. The ones that you found in the deep ward. Oh, the ones that are crystallized pieces of magic. The blue crystallized magical waters. Those all hit the ground and scatter and the person keeps running up the stairs. Oh my God. Can I grab the pouch and chase after him? Yeah, totally. Okay.

So you grab the pouch and keep running. Snatching the pouch gives them just like a couple more seconds ahead of you. You hear Maggie behind you say, out of the way, nerd. And you're, whoa. And then Maggie comes around the stairway. She's like, Billy. She leaps over you like one leg out, one bent, like a track star. So Billy watches Maggie, like basically catch up with him and he feels very sad. He feels very useless right now. Oh. So what does he do? He just stops.

He's looking at the bag of crystals kind of remembering the pond with the P.I.S.S. And he's just like, I couldn't even help them then. I can't do anything now. And he's just a little kid right now feeling like, well, everyone's got it under control. And then he kicks some of the crystals that were on the ground. Yeah. And they do have it under control and they use you all the time. That you're so special and they tell you that they care about you, but do they really?

They're not here helping you now. Who is that? It's you. This is, what do you mean? This is how you feel. You've always felt this way. You should do something about it. Whoa. These people don't. I drop the crystals. Whoa. And it does end for a second. It ebbs away, but you feel like that sadness calling you from the chamber below. So I'm going to go catch up with Maggie. What the fuck was that? That was so cool. That was sick. And you get to the top of the stairs. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Was there like two Billy's for a second? That's like the piss monster. That's like the bad side of Billy. Yeah. That was like a bag of like evil parole. Oh shit. Polar. Yeah. Who knows what that was? I don't like that. And Billy, you get to the top of the stairs and you see like, you know, a slam through door, slam through door. Maggie has not caught up with this guy. It seems like now that he's on a flat plane, he's really getting a move on. So he's like two rooms ahead of you.

Maggie's one room ahead of you. I'm going to holler at her. Maggie. What? Catch me. She's scared. She's like, Billy's going to get away. No, he won't. And I would like to do a shadow dance move. Oh, cool. Okay. Cool. I need to know what this mystery wrapped up. Person is about. All right. So how does shadow dance work? So I have to spend a hold of fairy child and then roll plus wisdom to enter the fairy slash shadow world on 10 plus. I remain out of body for three holds on seven to nine.

I only get one hold. Okay. Do it, Billy. Oh, this is not good. Okay. Hold on. Plus wisdom. I have none. It's five. Yeah, I could. Yeah, I could. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to use another fairy child to change it. To a seven to nine. Okay. I think. Is that your final one or do you have one more? I have one more. Okay, cool. So yeah, you feel it must be something about this place that you're tethering to your physical body is like grasping for a second before you're able to fully break away. Yeah.

I felt that the whole time I was in this fortress. Mm hmm. And just as you see Maggie sprinting towards you, you leap into the air as you leave your physical body. And you hit Maggie like a limp bag of bread. Yeah. But fairy Billy keeps going through her and I run so fast. Yeah. Okay. So what are you? You're trying to catch this guy or at least like get some info. Yeah. Because you're in. Catch them. Because you're a non-physical body right now. Right.

But I, but I also want to see if there's like anything about him. Mm hmm. Then yeah. Get two to six plus wisdom. Oh my God. These are the virginity dice. I swear to God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

How is this possible? I got a three. Oh man. You had so many huge roles for so long. But you're getting so much experience. Yeah. So you're running, you're rushing forward in your fairy form and you catch up to this body.

And as you like reach out with your little fairy hands trying to influence him in some way, you see him turn around and look down at you and you notice that the goggles he's wearing seem to be made out of a kind of blue crystal similar to the magic crystals that you found in the bag. Oh shit. Holy shit. And he just says, nice try kid. Oh my God's a wizard. And then he keeps running. Billy is so shocked. He literally like gets jolted back into his body.

You just wake up in Maggie's arms and he's gone. Like you, he, he bursts out the door to the actual keep and Maggie skids out just after him, but he's out of sight. And storm goes, Oh, get him. Yeah. He's gone. Wow. Nice try kid. Oh, that's so sick. Holy fuck. Wow. I like this guy. We cut back to the chamber. Roth is a tree. He's trying to crush you. Bing, what do you do? Oh, I thought. Oh, right. I thought tuck was on the way. Trying to keep him angry. Right? Yeah.

I use, Oh, what are you waiting for to piss him off? All right. Yeah. You have an ax. So it's a natural enemy to a tree. Yeah. You can hear Larry, Terry and Chad go. Let us at him. I'm going to get him. Chop, chop, chop. Okay. Timber motherfucker. Okay. So I'm going to use, what are you waiting for? Uh, roll plus con. Con? Yep. Okay. Here we go. Cause it's like your physical toughness. Six plus three is nine. Nine. I can aid. Oh, you can aid. Yeah. By distracting him. Yeah. Totally.

Further goading him. Yeah. Into attacking tuck. Yeah. I gave my, um, I have the waiting knife and I jab it in my wolf chest and then give him a stab with the knife. The tooth knife. The tooth knife. I give him a bit more of my blood and more power. I love it. Yeah. Roll 2d6 plus bond. Nice. Eight. And that distracts him for long enough that I can take Larry and Terry and Chad off my back and like throw it at him. Yeah. And it embeds. It embeds in his back in Roth's Oak back.

And then when he turns around, he sees me pissing on the Sean broke his glasses in half. Oh, he's trying to break his laptop. No, it's fine. This is more for dramatic effect. He sees me pissing on the, on the altar that has the illusion of that, uh, of that text on it. Right. And I'm like, this is what I think of your stupid druidic practice. Oh my God. And, uh, the ax cleaves into, and I fart a little bit and it makes the piss stream a little stronger for a second. Yeah. Yeah.

That was definitely a reason to cut me off. It is the funniest reason. Look at how, how hard Jessica loves this. You'd have to look at it cause you can't hear it in the microphone. I know. I can't, I can't help it. It's hilarious. Uh, so yeah, the ax embeds in the wood of his, uh, tree.

And, uh, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's back his dryad form and he whips around and sees you pissing on the skin and it doesn't even look like he's offended. It just makes him more mad just cause he's so mad already. Uh, but as he turns, he flashes back into his Roth form and the ax like clatters to the ground behind him.

And, uh, this time he becomes, Oh, or what were you going to say? I don't know. Yeah. Stone man. Uh, yeah. So his form shifts again and now he's just this like thick.

Rock golem man like an armor made of huge gray stones and he tromps across the chamber towards tuck I dive in and slide on my knees like I have a guitar in my hands but I don't and I scoop up larry terry and chad and as you tricked me you tricked me just now and um as I slide by him with larry terry and chad um the glow from their uh amethyst and the glow in my chest amethyst and I give him a try and cleft in between from the bottom up 12 13 holy shit 14 okay I don't think I've ever rolled that boxcars roll your damage two oh I mean I think you do this like slide and you come up with this like swing between his clefts and uh you hit him and you feel it like bite into the stone of this elemental form but then something about the axe and stone in this form dissipates it instantly and he hits the ground in his uh human form and he is like spitting up blood by the mouth full now and tuck runs up and pushes him back to the ground fully style yeah 2d6 plus drag 12 well so he tries to get up and you just hit him like a train you uh billy uh billy got maggie to scoop up the crystals and we're we're running back down to the chamber uh yeah so you get there you hear like huge crashes and screams and bellows you come down the stairs and you see perel at the back of the room furiously trying to read this book yeah I take the crystals to perel it's like billy oh you're okay oh maggie okay cool as uh ving it sails across the room from a backhand by from raw uh they're trying to just keep him occupied he's killing himself are you still reading the text I'm trying but this isn't a language I don't I barely understand can I try to read it yeah okay here hold these yeah Spout Lore Spout Lore 2d6 plus intelligence oh my god five and I for sure don't have intelligence yeah that was a five mark a point of experience again it is an elvish my god oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh yeah you just can't you can't help at all you can't read this in the slightest there's no bees in here there's no pictures at all and why would they bring you into a situation where they know that your failings are gonna make things harder for everybody you're putting people in danger they don't respect you they don't trust you yeah fold up the the text and shove it up under my shirt you're right pro what don't touch them what I put them back in my pouch into my pocket area uh you should go help them they're trying to they just got to keep them busy he's he's gonna run out of steam eventually okay uh and tuck and ding ding is like running out of steam too yeah I imagine and he is like staggering to his feet now he hasn't taken a form yet like after tuck slammed him into the wall he's just like bleeding and bruised and he's getting up and he's just like it's only a matter of time I'm gonna I'm gonna kill you and then I'm gonna be the spirit walker and I'm gonna have all of the power anyone could ever need just a bunch of blood on the ground and he stumbles around you and he's trying to get to the altar clearly uh I have larry terry and chad I smash the altar whoa holy shit okay I'll piss him off yeah defy danger wisdom um um into a hundred pieces chunks of stone fly all over the room everybody feels this like wave of spiritual turbulence emit from the altar and roth rises up from his like brutally beaten hunch and feels like he is feeling a cool breeze on his face just seems elated as this blood like runs down from his mouth across his chest and he's doing the the typical villain like yes yes and he starts like uh his arm becomes like a bear's paw and then it like starts to go up his shoulder but then it becomes like a bird's talon and he looks at it and then like the other hand shifts to like a horse's hoof and then his chest is like a killer whale's chest yeah there's like like blubber and flesh and then his legs are like crab legs and it's just like whipping back and forth he's like no oh my god there's a bezoar is forming into a forehead a red like he's taking on my spirit animal too and which is oh the lightning is starting like yeah oh yeah yeah there's like storm clouds like gathering around him like in the room yeah they're just like coming into existence and ving the moonlit wolf form that you've been wearing for this fight disappears the stones clatter to the ground and you feel a similar thing like your hands catch fire and the flames start running up your arm onto your chest and your body and you feel like your flesh turning to stone you disappear for a second and there's just like a roiling fart fart the most primordial of all elements and then you feel something reaching out to you I reach back as you reach out to this force the elements that you are used to controlling and manipulating start to flit away you that your grasp on them is loosening before like they're slipping through your fingers like it's just running through your grip and billy and uh tuck you see like a moon rise light from his like forehead down illuminates ving and it just pushes the fire away and pushes the stone away and the water away until he is fully illuminated by the light of the moon whoa ving you feel a little bit of a change happening it's on it feels unclear right now but also sad definitely it feels like an ending in a way oh whoa um is this the last episode we're gonna die everything fades to black uh in the middle of journeys don't stop believing everything suddenly cuts to black hmm fin writes on the screen yeah in cursive and then question mark and then you're like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry period and then period period ellipses um so the moonlight begins to wash over your face and then down your body you can feel the elements that were attempting to take hold as it goes over my face tears are drawn out I'm crying as it goes down my body and here's where you kind of realize what's happening you feel your gills begin to close oh whoa no my tail you feel as the light washes down your chest the amethyst geode in your chest close up whoa my god it washes down your arms the moss falls to the ground falls to the ground oh what what the fuck's happening and it continues down your legs until you are completely bathed in moonlight where once inside you rested fire earth air wind there is now only the light of the moon you stand there bathed in moonlight you think for a moment of your mother and everything she taught you and everything that she helped you become and you take a deep breath in and you feel yourself breathe out through new gills nature's price has finally been paid and I think that's where we're gonna end it for this week I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz so long playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers take care playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie bye everyone thank you to aaron reed as always for the incredible intro and outro music that he is so beautifully composed for us uh speller actually has a soundcloud account where you can listen to all of the original music from the show and it's got a shit ton of music written by abdulaziz and composed by aaron reed and also the song by you right yes I did write terry not um and thank you to all of our beautiful supporters around the world you can support us on twitter and support us on patreon at patreon.com Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com money please for an absolute ton of bonus content audio content outtakes bloopers fun word almanacs other material artwork merch whatever your heart desires can be found at patreon.com Spout Lore and we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried their best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you continue to listen to the story of the halfling thief you or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spelt

Hey, you guys having fun? We're having fun. If you want to support the show, go to patreon.com slash spoutlore and become a Patreon and get exclusive. You were so close that time. What do you mean? They're called Patreons. No, they're called Patreons, Paul. How? We didn't make the website, dude. Come on down to patreon.com. Okay. Hey, guys. Hey. Hi. Hey, are you enjoying the show? Hey, if you want to help support the show, hey, guys. Oh, my God. Keep going. Keep going. Hey, how's it going?

If you want to support the show, hey, are you having fun? He's taking it for no reason. If you're having fun, come on down to www.patreon.com slash spoutlore and become one of our Patreons. You get lots of exclusive membership bonus stuff. Yeah. Wow. You did it. That was worth it. Wow. Awesome. That was worth it. That was great. Thank you. Gather round, friends. Let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name.

You know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute. He knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great pride. Billy's a thief. His tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start.

Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spoutlore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian. Hello. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes, the battle was joined in the temple of the moon. Wrath and Ving squared off one-on-one. Wolf versus polar bear. Yep.

Well, no, first it was just a fight-fight until Ving took on the form of a moonlit Wolf-Man, pinning Wrath to the ground with his jaws, and then using the power of the! Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man.

Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. In an absolutely unbelievably effective stage battle where there was a lot of, oof, ah, ki-yai. There was a period of time where we were just kind of bouncing up and down and like pushing our fists into the air like we were dancing. Yeah. Billy was really overplaying the drama of the situation, which was the perfect distraction for his attempts to steal the Medjay text on the altar. Hell yeah.

Leaving an illusory copy in its place. So, Irk pretended to get knocked out. Billy went and freed Maggie and Perel with the aid of Tacoma Dome. And then Perel was given the Medjay text to study in an attempt to discover what Roth's plan was and if there was a way to stop it. Meanwhile, Maggie, Tuck, and Billy went and absolutely fucking wrecked house with a group of Medjay that had arrived. Tuck put his balls in some guy's face. Yeah, that guy got drenched in the trench, my friends.

He got pinched. Pinched in the gint. You got one more in you. He got… Dicked in the dick. There we go. Billy caught the attention of the mysterious sniper chasing him up the stairs and finding, as he grabbed a piece of this individual's clothing, a pouch full of the magic crystals that we had discovered in the past. Upon gathering this pouch, Billy was overcome with some sort of strong emotion. Mm-hmm.

Maggie and Billy continued the pursuit, Billy entering the fairy world briefly to attempt to catch up with this figure who, because of a failure, looked Billy right in the eyes with goggles that seemed to be made of the same blue crystal, said, Nice try, kid, and disappeared. That was fucked. Such a cool, like, young Indiana Jones moment, you know? Oh, yeah, totally! Yeah. Back in the chamber, uh, Roth…

Was overcome with, uh, near uncontrollable transformations thanks to Ving's spirit walker powers. And somewhat of a primal rage. Yeah, he began being filled with this animal rage as he swapped indiscriminately between forms, uh, Ving realizing that because he is not a druid druid, uh, he is without a tell, which makes him unable to process, kind of, uh, spirit power in the same way. Mm-hmm. Which would eventually kill him.

Uh, Ving's big move ended up being smashing the altar with Terry, Larry, and Chad Totally. To stop the ritual, which released some wave of spiritual turbulence, uh, causing Roth to begin losing control of the shape-shifting powers, becoming a chimera before your very eyes. And the same thing happened to Ving as the elements began to take over his body. Mm-hmm.

Something reached out to him, he reached back, and his body would, uh, body was filled with the purest moonlight, healing him of his previous tolls that nature exacted from him in his manipulation of the elements. That's so cool. And that is where we find ourselves now. Ving, uh, emanating the light of the full moon, Roth, writhing on the ground. Tuck is wearing sunglasses, looking directly at Ving. Whoa.

Uh, yeah, Billy's squinting his eyes, just getting a sunburn, basically, from how bright it is. Getting a sunburn from moonlight. That's how pale Billy is. That's how pale I am. Um, and Perel and Maggie, uh, are similarly just, like, mouth agape, staring at Ving, and Roth has fallen to his knees, shifting shape, uh, almost constantly, roiling like a, like a pot of stew. Oh, yeah. Like, his body changing constantly. As he just stares at Ving. Gross. Yeah, it doesn't feel good, for sure.

Tuck says, Tuck points and goes, gross. But Ving, you just look down, Roth is in agony. He's definitely losing control. Mm-hmm. And he very likely is dying. What do you do? Ah. He's got all of the animal forms. Mm-hmm. Um, Ving goes up to him, and he asks him, and he tells him, he's like, I can, I can take this away from you. I can help you. But you have to give it to me willing. Uh, 2d6 plus charisma. Nine. Seven to nine. Hmm.

What I'm basically offering him is to do what he did to me and stab all the different animals of the chimera to remove them from his soul. Yeah. But it would take away him dying, but then also his ability to shape shift. Mm-hmm. So he looks up at you. His, his chimeric form, uh, calms momentarily as he seems to come to terms with some decision and, uh, looks you in the eyes and says, I would rather die. Uh, Ving smiles a little bit and turns around and walks away. Mm.

I know that you guys wanted some information out of him. If you have a method that is not asking him politely, cause… Ving turns around and I'm thinking, I'm gonna do another thing. One more thing. Uh, you have moments before he… Can I try lightning in a bottle? Absolutely you can. Um, I go up to him and I hold his face in my hands. Um, I feel kind of bad for Roth. Mm-hmm. Um, very much consumed in his own, uh, thirst for power. Yeah.

Yeah, and I, I just, I hold his head between my hands and I watch his eyes. Yeah. And what do I see? Uh, you roll for it. Okay. I forgot to do that. A 10. Heck yeah. Okay, so that means that you can withdraw a memory and hold onto it indefinitely. So he kind of gives you the whole thing. Uh, you see a small boy that you determined to be Roth growing up on the streets of McCall. Oh no. Oh God. Not more of this. No empathy. Seeing… No empathy.

Seeing the people in the city that have power and how they wield it and the, the life that he led and the ways that people could use their power to help people and they decided not to and a hardening over time as he grew up, he got mean, he got vicious and did what he could to fight against people that had power and chose to abuse it. You see him like being, uh, welcomed and fed and clothed and trained by an elder Magi. It was that elder Magi, the guy who like tricked Ving into… Yeah. Yeah.

Into entering the chamber. Then Mike. Oh right. His name was Mike. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is, uh, you, the, you know, the viewer would recognize him as the same man. Um, you see him rise through the ranks as a cold hearted and ambitious person. Um, more recently I'd say within the last 10 years, uh, when he's like in his prime, uh, when he's like in his, uh, mid to late twenties, he is approached. You, this image seems, or this memory seems very significant to him.

He's approached by a kind of pale skinned older man, like wrinkles, kind of like jowly wearing a simple cloak and like a wide traveling hat and walking with a stick. And, um, he smiles very, very. He smiles very benevolently at Roth and he hands him a black coin with an eye carved in it. Whoa. And Roth's goals change from then on out. And he pursues the collection of power, like the removal of power from people and the hoarding of it.

And then you see events that are very familiar to you play out the fight in the lighthouse meeting Caroline. And, uh, right up to now. Oh man. Um, I'm I've obviously got Chamberlain's ring on, so tuck and Ving can see this play out. Um, I feel really bad for Roth. I'd like to stay with him while he dies. It doesn't take long. I want to make it easy for him to go. How do you do that? I put Paul sabotage right next to his head. I am Cork. And. And Billy pushes the bottle away. Not, not right now.

Billy has a memory of old bill taking care of Billy when he was sick. Um, and he would like brush his hair and rub his cheeks and all that stuff. And that's what Billy does for Roth. He like, you know, brushes Roth's hair, try to comfort him. That's cute. I speak to all the animal forms. That's what Ving does. He calms all the animal forms using, um, spirit. He's like, I'm going to go get some food. I'm going to go get some food. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed.

There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed.

Who was that old man? Can I use my bardic lore? Gods and their servants. No. No, you can't. Histories? No. Legends of guitar heroes past? No. He's none of these? Not that you know of. Can I just Spout Lore then? Yeah. Okay. Six. Eight. Yeah, go ahead and roll 2d6 plus bond. Holy shit. 11. You should have spouted lore. Fuck. Like you're racking your brain. This isn't even a recalling of information. This is a connecting of dots. That man must be a member of the dark guard.

It's the only thing that makes sense. So can you describe him again? He was kind of pale. He was like white skinned, old. Jowly. Jowly. Seemed kind of kind, kind of benevolent and was wearing a simple traveling cloak, plain clothes, a wide brimmed hat. And carrying a stick. And Tuck remembers the song, the maiden and the thief, and that there was a character in it called the gibbous man. And it explicitly says like the gibbous man was waiting there in the waning light of night.

He told the thief quite peaceably he would not win this fight. It's like that like kind of like benevolent manner, like of like this like eldritch entity. Oh my goodness. And he's like, he's, he's kind of described as this wandering figure in the song. Even. Whoa. That's cool. Irk stumbled, stumbles to his feet and walks forward and sees Roth lying on the ground and nods to himself. He wasn't going to stop. What would do him justice? How would he like his body returned to the earth?

In the past, you know, the Medjai that have have died, have their final rights have always been of the elements. Yeah. And they're like, I'm going to burn him, bury him, freeze him, sink him in the sea. Whatever's easiest. Well, let's cut them up and do all of those just to be respectful. All right, here we go. Maybe it's not. Let's just burn him. Let's go up to the top of the keep and build a pyre. So you're going to take him to the top of the tower and just burn him. I think so.

I feel like that's the best way to kind of like send them off. Um, you want to search his body, right? Yeah. Let's let's steal anything that he's got on first. Let's go ahead and loot his body. Yeah. Let's take his corpse real quick. I don't want to have those coins with us, but he was given one. Oh fuck. Right. Does he have that coin that the Gibbous man gave him? Uh, he, yeah, he has it on him. Oh shit. Yeah. But he's just, he's just carrying it with him. Yeah.

I'll, I'll just take it and I'll put it with the rest of my coins. Yep. I mean, I think the thing is, is that I think, um, the Medjai were kind of like aesthetic, so he doesn't have a lot of possessions. Hmm. I think he got, you know, like some ornamentation in his hair. Oh, what is it? It's like one of braided into mine. I think it's, I think it's rings of different like, uh, kinds of stone, like different elemental pieces, but that's all he's really got. Okay. Or can I have these?

Whatever you want to do. I'm, I'm done with this. This is, this is over for me, so I don't care what you do with them. Thanks for keeping your promise. I'm really hoping that it. Ends up being worth it. What will you do now? I don't know. Sign on with a boat, see the world a little bit. Never really left my call. So this has been pretty exciting, but maybe I'll just take up fishing. I think I'm done with excitement for a while. And he kind of just awkwardly like waves like, well, uh, see ya.

Bye. Bye. Thanks for the book. Hey, happy to help. Hey, thanks for the book. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Thanks for magically binding me towards it. No. Hey, yeah. Yeah. Thanks for casting a, some kind of a freaky fairy spell on me was, uh, no problem. Yeah. I don't really know how to say bye.

People usually just leave and then I wait for them. Um, I'll see you another time. I'm so sorry. Yeah. I'll, I'll see you. I'll see you another time. Uh, actually, Hey, I never broke my promise. What happens now is our, I think I have the book, so I'm good. Is it complete? I guess so. Nothing's going to happen to you. I don't really know what would happen if, if you didn't. So Billy, he would have died. You made the promise. I would have died. I don't remember these things.

I, I live a busy life. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Bye. You're going to go alive. Thanks for holding your promise. Whatever. See ya. See ya at the pub. Yeah, maybe. Bye. Bye. Bye. And his voice carries up the stairs and he's gone. Man, we're really weird when people leave. I don't know what I'm doing. Hey guys, Perel is here. I said in the third person. Hey, what's up? Perel's here. Um, are there still people in this tower that want to kill us?

I feel like they would have all gotten too scared to leave. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like they would have all gotten too scared by all the spirit stuff that was going on. Yeah. There's been a, like I'm here of animals and elements. I don't know. Cool. Let's go then. Let's get out of here. Yeah. I pick up Roth's body so we can burn it. Okay.

Is there anywhere, can I discern realities just to see if there's maybe some legs around here? Oh right. Norman's legs. You're weirdly invested in me. Hey, he, a man asked him for a favor. Yeah. You can do something really cool that I could, we could give him as legs that would be, you know, obviously his legs aren't here. Who knows? You could discern realities and we'll say it's for the whole building. Okay, great. Plus wisdom. Nine. Nine. Could use a hand or a foot. Billy will help.

And just by also searching. Yeah. Uh, uh, seven. Whoa. So I, I'm just like wandering through the halls, just looking around, pretending I'm, oh, I'm going to be a little bit more of a, uh, a little bit more of a, uh, a little bit more of a, uh, uh, a little bit more of a, uh, a little bit more of a, uh, a little bit more of a, uh, a little kid. You know, I'm just like, okay, I'm going to come around pretending I'm a lost kid. Yeah. It's, it's odd. Everybody left.

It seems whatever the captain's council clearly wasn't here. Uh, the Medhi got them to leave and the Medhi that survived have escaped. Um, so they're in the wind. Um, some perhaps literally at this point it's like wandering around in middle school, like during summer vacation. Totally. Um, so you get three questions. Uh, what here is most like legs. Okay. Useful to me. Uh, maybe there's like a.

Exhibit like a dinosaur bone oh yeah we found these other legs some other beasts anthropology room yeah yeah that's from the light guard days I would say that there probably is like a um an exhibit of sorts that is like stuff that the pirates have captured over time like different captains having little displays so you do find like there are two displays that have like different wooden legs like a peg leg and a more like articulated wooden leg um you could return these to norman for sure you're not sure that his actual human physical legs are in this building anymore that's fine I'll take those legs okay great uh ving takes some legs and you got two more questions what's about to happen you look out one of the windows like one of the um kind of arrow slit windows higher up and towards the town and you can hear like clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang and it looks like maybe people are gathering to come see what was going on.

Oh. It's clear that whatever disturbance was taking place here also affected the town somehow. Oh, shit. Plus there's a huge fire on the roof. True. I bet word got out. Right. We should maybe slink away from here and pretend we weren't involved in this. Let's get out of here. Yeah. You got one more question if you want it. And there is like a tower full of stuff that you could pilfer if you chose to. Do we want to pilfer? Guys, how are you feeling? We'll just get the hell out of here.

I feel like we can just get the fuck out of here. Yeah. There's only one thing I want and it's not here, I guess. What do you want? Revenge? Yeah, revenge. Thank you, Bing. I feel like no one understands me sometimes, but Bing, you always get me. You've got to have revenge eyebrows right now, Billy. Thank you. Let's get out of here. Yeah. So you can, there is time for you to just like to slip out a side entrance. Okay. You've got Perel and Maggie. You kind of got to support them on the way out.

Tuck is carrying Perel like a little baby. He's got his arms wrapped around. Your neck. Thank you so much, Tuck, for carrying me out of here. That's okay. And then Tuck, there's like a scene where he like kicks open the front doors of the keep and then music swells behind him as he like runs out of the burning keep with Perel. At one point he lets go and Perel's still just hanging there because he's holding on so tight. Are you just like outside the keep, like in an alley or something?

We're in the bushes. We're in the bushes. We're back in the bushes. And Norman's like, how'd it go? We got your legs. We got you some legs. Oh, look at these things. And he starts popping off his own legs and putting the new ones on. They're totally mismatched. Different heights and everything. He's just like, this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. Thank you so much. Oh man, you should see the effigy carved in stone in the keep. It's incredible. You were there.

You always will have been. Oh my God. And he stands up out of the bush. On his new legs. Just like, my life's work is done. Farewell. And he steps forward onto the shorter leg and falls right on his face. And does a bobbing walk off towards the town. And then I turned to these guys. I was like, we might've actually just framed Norman for everything that happened in there. Oh, he's fine. That wasn't our purpose from the beginning. Okay. And yeah, the question is, where to?

So Maggie is like, all right, let's get back to the Clearwater and then we can gather. What Clearwater? The Clearwater's gone. What? Yeah. Caroline might've just sent it off. Or she might've sold it to the Pirates Council. Caroline. But, okay. She betrayed us. No, no, no. It was a fucked up situation. Do you guys want to explain it or should we cut forward 10 minutes? Okay. Yeah. We do explain it to her though. And that's what happened. And Maggie's got her head in her hands.

She's like, a demon this whole time? It seems like most of the time that somebody's bad, a demon's involved. Even Roth, demon. Was he a demon? No, he just had a coin with him. But Caroline, Corrine had one inside her body? Mm-hmm. Yeah. It seemed like it was kind of mediating. Yeah. And stabilizing the demon inside of her. Because when she ended up coughing it up, the demon tried to go into Ving. And now it's in here.

And he lifts up a half shirt he's been wearing to reveal like the shards of white coin in his chest. Whoa. Does it look fucked up? Well, I don't know. It's kind of cold. You should probably cover that up a little bit. He puts the kimono back on. It looks good on you. Thanks. I'm going to keep the kimono on that so people don't see what the fuck's going on under here. I like that. So where's Corrine? Do we just leave her behind? No. We left her at the clinic. Oh. She was vertog. Okay.

I think she's interested in picking up the thread and following it to where it's going. Oh. All right. Shall we? I suppose. And, you know, walk, walk, walk. There's a bunch of- Walk, walk, walk. Yeah. That's how you guys- Sound when you walk. We don't do that. We do it in secret. Walk, walk, walk. Walk, walk, walk. There's a bunch of commotion. Like, every once in a while, people be like, oh, my God. Did you hear what happened in the fort? As they, like, rush past you. Mm-hmm.

But you get to Vertog's clinic, and Vertog is there, and so is Corrine. And Maggie walks into the room ahead of all of you. Mm-hmm. And she enters the room that Corrine is resting in, and she just looks at her. Oh. Uh, hi. Uh, hi. And Corrine goes, hi. Oh, she doesn't remember her. And Maggie just goes like, can we just have a second? Uh, yeah. We'll try and find a boat to hire. Okay. Yeah, I'll see you guys in a minute. We need a second. And he sits down in a chair. And they both look at Ving.

I'll go. I'll get a boat. I'll help get a boat. You're right. I'm better on boats. Should we hop in? Oh. Oh.

Yeah yeah he probably probably there yeah uh so you guys go to the hound yep and um you are walking towards the hound and uh just as you're like it's it's a raucous place always especially with uh whatever's been going on there's a lot of excitement and uh you're going towards the door and you go to reach the door and there's a crash as a body is thrown through the window next to the door and captain ollie underdreyfus hits the ground and gets up and goes oh hey ollie what the fuck just happened uh just uh just a normal disagreement between old friends how was your uh infiltration yeah when uh went okay I would say and then you hear in the back clang clang clang clang fire burning oh yeah okay yeah so that was you cool and you hear a yell from scythe dry fish get back in here we're not done and he's like crabs just cool it I'm with my friends okay we'll finish this later uh you want to come in get a drink no we want you we need a boat now now now now now please um I mean there's the matter of payment yeah and I've got to resupply and I've got to pay my crew like I can't we gotta what are we looking at tomorrow morning when's as soon as you can get ready is it still night I think it's like dawn ish oh uh so tomorrow morning is in like an hour from now that'd be great I mean if you if you make it worth my while I could probably pull some strings I'm gonna need a little bit of uh cashola to grease some palms you know what I mean I don't have cashola yeah we kind of lost all of our money we gave it all away I'll give you this light crystal I think it's worth a lot he squints one eye holds it up to the light it's sunstone is it really yeah man this is light crystal I don't think this is sunstone that's sunstone dude are you trying to lie to him no I think it's actually sunstone why'd you write light crystal and not sunstone because that's we were kind of calling them maybe the magic crystals also gave off light oh so I think that's what this is okay I mean ollie holds the the blue crystal up to the light and sees how it glimmers and is like I could probably trick somebody into buying this oh cool sick yeah all right I'll uh I'll meet you outside in hour and a half yeah all right we'll meet you at your boat okay I'll see you later and uh thanks ollie he puts a foot on the windowsill and dives back into the other the other non-broken window and uh you leave him to his business uh okay so you've got like an hour and a half two hours before you uh go meet ollie back at the dock and head out yeah anything that you want to take care of or do we just jump ahead I want to talk to parell and you guys I guess about those that pouch of crystals oh yeah do you want to get a a table at the hand while we hash this out yeah billy I could use a snack I I could use a snack too thank you for thank you for always looking out for me I'm just hungry myself like weirdly hungry being is like weirdly very hungry yeah starving you enter the hound you see ollie uh is in a headlock and uh uh some kind of big burly dwarf is just hammering him in the face over and over he waves at you and you continue on to your table negotiations are going good yeah man that guy's got a lot of friends uh and it is the usual motley assortment of uh customers here at the hound people from all corners of the globe and you just grab a table augustine is there but um he seems really busy so he you're not in his section tonight uh so a who's the who's the server that's helping you today is it like a teenager I think it's someone who just started big lanky teenager hi yeah welcome to the hound thank you my name's gall I'm gonna be your server for tonight can I start you off with some drinks could I have a cup of water cup of whopper sorry what'd you say cup of whatever whatever he said that's what I said what else could I get a a roast pheasant uh yeah roast f e z okay uh sorry do you guys have clams clams um probably can I have one giant clam oh okay all right I'll see you tonight clam I'll take whatever clams you have left remaining clams billy just ordered all the clams okay uh so I got a cup of whopper a blasted pheasant one big ram and sundry clams I'll be right back sounds good thank you and he uh he turns around and takes half a step before slamming full on into another guy and goes sorry and then spins around him and he's like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be One of the rooms above.

I asked you all here with me today. I don't know why I'm being so formal about it. Continue, my kind sir. Just before you continue, Perel comes out of a door next to you and is like, they have karaoke here. Oh, that's cool. Did you guys already order? We did. It's okay. I got a lot of clams coming. Perfect. That's what I was going to get anyways was a lot of clams. Cool. I need to show you all this stuff that came off of that mysterious bandaged person. Oh, right. Oh, yeah.

That guy with that range weapon. Yeah. With the blue crystals. Secretly from everyone else in case they want to steal it, I dump out some crystals to show you. Oh, shit. These are the magic crystals, Billy. I thought so. I put one in my mouth. It tastes like licking a battery. Spicy. Spicy, hey? I also put one in my mouth. Your tongue is tingling for sure. Perel's like, stop putting them in your mouths. Why? I grabbed another one. Get them out of your mouth. I put it in my mouth.

I spit out like three of them. I take Perel's hand and put it in my mouth. Perel reaches into Tuck's mouth and takes the crystals out. Stop it. Stop it. They all have a different flavor. They do? No. Yeah, they do. I grab another one and put it in my mouth. Well, wait. What do they taste like? Well, and Perel's holding one and is just like, eat it. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. No. Oh, wow. They do. Is that asparagus? Huh. So, this person just had a pouch of these? Yeah. I don't know what for though.

And this, okay, this is the other thing. When I was in the shadow world, the person saw me. It was like they were wearing these glasses, their goggles or whatever, and it was like made out of the same stuff as this. Really? And they saw you? They saw me. How did you know they saw you? Because they said, nice try, kid. Whoa. What? That shouldn't be possible. I know. It's really rude. There's no, how would they, people haven't done this since the Exodus.

Like this shouldn't be, I haven't seen anything like this since my imprisonment. It's basically people that worked with magical materials to create advanced technology. So, he's like an engineer basically? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Defuser no you just have to know what you're doing but like the materials are so uncommon now that it's very unusual that someone would even have all of the materials they need to make stuff like this well it seems like they are now missing a large portion of something very valuable to them what was what do you remember about the the weapon that they carried um it was long and there was a button that they would press it made like a little horn sound too yeah like a tiny rock came out of it but came out really fast a rock was it like a blade no it was like oh it was like pointy like a rock it's like yeah it's a tiny little pointy flat sharp edged rock and it made a it made a noise yeah like a little honk was that what that noise was yeah was them firing this weapon I think so huh uh yeah you can roll something because he's basically like I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to think about this someone else did I fucked up the last Spout Lore okay I'll do it because it comes from the exodus so I can use my wisdom uh yep 2d6 plus wisdom eight nice perel says you know back in the day there were wizards or machinists that would use basically things like this more refined basically like magical magic like thalmic batteries to power objects or machines uh so maybe they figured out a way to use these crystals raw as they are to power whatever weapon they're using and also found a way to mill the crystals in a way that they can make lenses so then they can see into the other realms what I don't know I'd have to get a closer look at their godlike goggles but maybe they maybe there's parts in there that allow them to see things that aren't visible to normal perception I'm gonna have to think about it but um and he like piles them back into the bag and cinches it tight and is just gives back to billy and he's like keep those close and I'll take a look at them later but don't let anybody get those okay okay I've got the waiters scared the shit out of all of us a bunch of like okay I've got the waiters scared the shit out of all of us a bunch of like okay I've got the waiters scared the shit out of all of us a bunch of like crystals like fly in the air as I I spilled my whopper yeah he he says I got a glass of water and he gives you a water of a glass of what looks to be chicken stock uh he's got a blasted pheasant gives you a burger uh he got uh one big slam and he gives you like um giant t-bone steak a huge steak and he gives remaining clams and he gives billy a plate of clams thank you anything else I can get you can I have a fork oh oh my yeah I'm so sorry I'll be right back I'm so sorry can I have it now yes I'm sorry I just I feel really weird you can't be like this around serving staff I just I just I'm I'm used to being a monster physically and now it feels like it's moving on the inside right yeah pro's like bing how are you feeling you're and he like reaches out and grabs your hands like holds your hands in his hands and he's like look you're like I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry your hands your hands are so soft yeah of course they are I moisturize oh my god all right okay okay your hands are pretty soft too they're like brand new no they're not yeah bing is like he looks normal again he looks like season one vick now right yeah yeah you look normal nothing nothing wrong with normal but how do you feel somebody's looking at me like what are you looking at oh they just shrug at you all right fine I look at the bag of of crystals and I wonder like is it because of these hey the other thing about these crystals is it's like like it's like I can hear them kind of like when perel was evil and I could hear perel whoa what perel's eyes widen and he kind of scoots back a little bit goes what it's like it they talked to me or something what are they saying um they said I don't know like secret stuff like billy gets all embarrassed he's like I don't know they were just saying like maybe maybe you didn't respect me or like care about me when I was in a bad mood now and at first I was like believing it and then and then I realized like I'm not thinking that like these are telling me okay and then I I pick up billy and I give him a hug and I was like billy I trust you I trust you like to you hold on to these if you feel like you want to I'm scared that they're making ving mad they're not I'm sorry I've been through a lot okay I also trust you billy I hope that helps it does and you're not going to try like steal them in the night to try to become a wizard again no no I'm not okay and I turn to perel and I'm like is it possible that there is like part of your evil aspect in these polar or whatever he was called I don't I don't know I'll have to think about it but if these crystals are formed naturally the way they usually are it means that they were formed hundreds of years ago like normal crystals so it'd be pretty amazing if polar was able to influence them in any way okay well let us know if it happens again yeah definitely talk to us if you can if you can hear them again okay hmm okay I've got I brought forks and he dumps like 20 forks on the table hey goal yeah you're doing a great job thank thank you that really that really means a lot to me you're a very good waiter I can tell that you haven't been doing this very long I haven't my dad's on this place and they uh really wanted me to get a job but I just want to be I just want to paint but I need to work to buy paint uh and um my voice started doing this recently and it's really stressing out it sounds cool what yeah really yeah I've never heard anyone sound like you thank you uh if you need anything just shout and he uh trips over his own shoes and lands on his stomach and uh kind of belly crawls away um so you guys can just you know unless there's anything else you want to take care of in the hound you know we can jump forward yeah to the dock side um and you are standing next to captain olyander drive okay billy filled a to-go bag with all the clam shells just the shells yeah because I ate the clams and the seagulls are going nuts there's like 15 seagulls flying above billy I'm trying to build a little like like shell castle I'm swatting the seagulls away like stop it just wait till I'm done and they picked billy up a few times so tuck is like actively trying to get them out of there so that they don't see him and they're like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry steal his kit yeah what's you drop him right now make us make us make us uh and uh oly is got like you know bags of shit over his shoulders that he's throwing to um currently nameless crewmen on board who are taking it below decks and uh maggie and kareen come walking down the the uh the jetty kareen is walking slowly definitely kind of limping a little bit she's got a new traveling cloak on it's thick and it's got like a big fur rough around the collar and maggie has all her shit uh such as it is which is not very much she is she bought a coat too but she doesn't have her weapons she doesn't have much of anything and they uh stop next to you and maggie puts her hand on kareen's shoulder and goes we've uh you know smooth things over so to speak uh got to know each other a little bit and kareen would like to um well you can and she gestures kareen forward and she goes I'd uh I think I'd really like to come with you if that's okay yeah hell yeah we'd love to have you okay I don't know how much use I'm gonna be um it's been a long time we don't really have that much use we just kind of get things done without a lot of use so I bet you'll find your use all right uh well thank you for everything and she heads up on board and perel comes walking down the deck he obviously went shopping a little bit uh before he came he's got a he's got a sun hat on and uh surprisingly practical clothing who is this they wow they have like no finery for sale on this whole island I swear it's like one big barksburg warehouse I don't know what I thought pirates were flashy I don't know what the deal is this is depressing and he just goes up on the deck and he's like I don't know what the deal is and ollie hops down onto the jetty and he's like all right I think we're uh pretty much loaded up ready to go all right I leave my my shell castle for the seagulls and they immediately dive bomb it and shells go everywhere um yeah what is the name of ollie's ship I was just I thought of a name and I was like that is definitely the name of like a divorced uncle's boat what uh the sun runner oh yeah that's oh yeah um yeah okay so the boat's called the sun runner yeah cool it's much more expensive than the uh clear water but it's fast as hell sick um this guy is is han solo in a lot of ways his ship is kind of a piece of shit but it's got it where it counts and it's so fast it's awesome there's like a big couch several big couches like all over the deck there's so many couches you go down you go down underneath and there's like a heavy bag for boxing there's like a bunch of posters of scantily clad folks on the walls there's a pinball machine yeah all those beer bottles yeah I don't know what's going on here I don't know what's going on here I don't know they're like on a coat rack to make like a little trees like you know I like to keep it a little festive a little fun it's nice yeah those neon lights yeah they are it's worm glass I got it in mccall and he uh taps it and it says uh budweiser what do you think that's cool pretty cool who's bud oh there's a little friend of mine my old bud nice yeah anyway where are we going I mean I guess we're really going for the frozen north but were we gonna try hibernia I can't remember um okay ollie's spread out a chart and he's like all right so we're here and he puts his finger on the four frost islands and we gotta go here and he points to like um a big peninsula in the north and he's like so this is where the thing that you're looking for is oh yeah that glacier yeah okay uh well uh fun fact and he kind of drags his finger down to uh a pretty solid rectangle that's like in between he's like this is the wall of fog we're gonna have to go through this if we want to get there shit have you ever done that before um yeah it's scary for sure uh sunrunner's pretty fast so we've outrun a couple things didn't really get a good look at them glad we're as fast as we are but um it's gonna be eventful if we gotta go there is there any other route we could take yeah we could technically go this way and he like um takes his finger up the coast to a bunch of like inlets and channels that seem to create uh some kind of way around he's like but that's gonna take way longer okay are you on any kind of time crunch kind of then it's probably the wall of fog all right well if all it is I mean I figured we'd probably be heading towards it yeah uh do you guys have uh like cold weather clothing because it's gonna get fucking cold billy looks down at himself tuck's got a kimono yeah I'm all I'm good I'll uh I'll see what I have we'll figure out something okay whatever man just use a lot of blankets uh I got a bunch of old fleece blankets in a pile you can use yeah billy's already like rifling through the blankets yeah this will fit this will fit this will fit oh my god um okay so I guess I mean I we could do undertake a perilous journey yeah okay so someone is going to roll uh scout ahead and someone is going to roll undertake a perilous journey are you okay ving yeah I'm fine I'm totally normal just like everyone else normal normal ving glad to not be having everyone's eyes on me he's like a the reality uh a tv star who went into an alternate universe while he wasn't on a reality tv show and now he's like kind of like being like I liked everyone thinking I was a freak I'm gonna say vings may be a little too overcome with his new change to take part in any of these shows I'm gonna say ving's maybe a little too overcome with these roles no I'll do the role I'll scout ahead or whatever okay so yeah you can roll scout ahead it's uh and someone's gonna have to roll um navigate I'll do them both uh no just do the one you're just gonna do the one I'll uh I I mean I shouldn't help now I don't know what I'm doing I'll navigate we're going north I know the way oh right yeah and billy you scout most sure best I scout really well okay so scout is 2d6 plus wisdom and I'm gonna do the one I'm gonna do the one I'm gonna do the one I'm gonna do the one I'm gonna do the one I'm gonna do the one I'm gonna do the one navigate is 2d6 plus intelligence nice I got five plus wisdom seven shit uh okay so on a seven to nine for scout ahead choose one from the list below you get the drop on whatever lies ahead you discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain a shortcut shelter or tactical advantage you make a capital d discovery you notice sign of a nearby capital d danger I think a discovery would be fun okay so you set sail and you are um the sky's gray it's cold it's snowing you know like usual um and a few hours pass ollie is at the wheel of the sunrunner uh what's everybody just doing while they're hanging out um billy is like burritoed up in some of the blankets and he's just like chilling on one of the couches up on the deck mm-hmm watching out nice yeah yeah that's great you're reading one of the maximum magazines yeah looking at a lot of pictures not really understanding what he's looking at completely yeah so many times we have like taken the magazines away from billy but he finds more somehow I always find them and all he's like hey it's not it's just maxim there's no nipples it's okay and what they don't know is billy's just looking at the food ad I love the full note wow we say hey it's just a hot dog yeah it's just a hot dog that gets long and it's just a hot dog that gets long and it's just a hot dog that gets longer and longer it's an ad for the hot dog festival that happened two years ago wow um what what are tucking being up to um tuck had actually pulled ving aside to like check in on him because he's been kind of off since he like became a christ-like figure in the chamber of the moon or whatever what of it it's like dude I mean like you you went through like a huge transformation you look totally different yeah and you've been acting like kind of upset I guess but yeah yep yeah I feel like I lost myself a little bit I really got tucked into feeling like a freak I guess like you liked it I don't know if I liked it but I I knew why I was what what it was but right now I don't know what I am right it was like all of your scars was I accepted all those uh I accepted paying nature's price so many times over and I knew why I was doing it I don't know why I am like I am or what I am right now I'm glowing like turn the light off close the door all right I turn the light off and close the door I look like a gin and tonic at a nightclub this is fucked up thing is glowing yeah it's weird give me the knife okay and I hand the fuck is the knife cut to billy billy's using the the knife to cut out the food ads from the magazine and he's making a little like like a dinner plate a little collage like a vision board yeah oh dinner when I get to a hotel or a restaurant I'm like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like this is what I'm gonna eat and that is gonna be spaghetti and meatballs and also this protein shake and this egg it's not even a cooked egg it's just an egg in the shell it's like an article cut in the shape of an egg look for for dessert a bunch of chicken drumsticks and ice cream drumsticks yum and there's two random sailors watching this happen yeah and they're both uh we got a we got a skinny guy fat guy configuration and they're both like yeah that sounds pretty good doesn't it yeah that sounds pretty good to me too let's talk about those drumsticks more well they're really crispy and no the ice cream ones the ice cream ones yeah they're crispy too they're crispy because look at it it has a chocolate shell on it and then you can add coconut sprinkles on top damn and then when you're thirsty you drink milk kid you are out of your mind I know I know but then you go really crazy and you add the ox blood and they both look at each other and go oh can you imagine I can't even imagine it's been like six months since I've been to a restaurant like that and then you can get some clams oh I just pull out some clams from clam shells from my pocket oh the shells okay and then cut forward another 10 minutes and there's a group of 10 guys just watching billy describe food 25 sequels circling above him and think about it like this when you add them all up in a sandwich form how quickly you can eat it also the many levels of flavors that you can combine oh my god kid you're a fucking genius thank you and uh we got we cut back skinny guy food and we're gonna go to the next one and we're gonna go to the next one and we're gonna go to the next one fat guy are in the crowd and fat guy grabs skinny guy by the front of the shirt and points at his face and goes one day teddy we're gonna go to a restaurant just like that just like that man he's like you mean it's like I mean it and they both hug each other and they're sobbing then we come back downstairs and then yeah tucks just patting his pockets I think billy took the knife oh billy must have it anyways I don't I don't know thanks for checking it look dude I understand I understand that That, like, your scars and, like, the way that you kind of, like, paid for your powers was, like, a big part of, like, your identity and how you thought about yourself.

That's how everybody saw me. I mean, it's not how Billy and I saw you. No? We saw what was in here. And he points… He points at Ving's chest, but he resists the urge to point at his crotch. You can see his hand shaking. And he grabs his wrist with, like, the other hand to stabilize it. Ving grabs his hands and starts, like, pulling it down to his dick. Don't you dare do this! Boop. Pokes him in the dick. I hear what you're saying.

Look, the fact that you don't hold the scars anymore doesn't change the sacrifices that you've made in the past. And the fact that you don't have them anymore doesn't change how Billy and I see you. You're still the same guy. You're still my wife. Kind of. You're still the man I married, kind of. Billy's still the son that we squeezed out of our butts or whatever. Did you guys hear that? What? It's the sound of a thousand shippers crying out in elation. Tuck calling Ving his wife. We did it!

We did it, everybody! He just touched his dick! Tuck is like, Okay, look. I wanted to check in to make sure you were okay. Like, also physically. Like, that you were okay. Like, that you weren't, like, dying or anything. I don't know. I do feel different. I'm hungry all the time. Okay, I have to tell you something. Uh-huh. Kind of fucked up. Okay. That happened before we left McCall. Yeah? Um, I talked to Ama at the party to try and get him to, like, look at me and see what I was again.

And he couldn't see anything. But he tried to look… Into my future. And, uh, he gave me a prophecy that I was gonna die. What do you mean? He said, It will end for you beneath a burning tree. And the last thing you say will be a lie. Tuck, he… You're not gonna die. You're too strong. You can't die. Look, dude. We don't talk about it. But we always knew that I was gonna go first. You're an elf. Billy's forever. But I'm gonna go first. So I have to know, when I go, that you've got Billy.

Well, I… I will always… Be there for him. And… I will always be there for you. Even if you're not there. Oh. Oh. Not to cry. My bad. Just let it out, man. I'm fine. I'm so hungry. Billy's up there talking about drumsticks and shit. I can hear him. He's talking so loud. He's basically immediately above us. Yeah. I have to talk loud because there's a group of 20 now. This boat is not that big. But somehow there's 20 people. Another boat is pulled up alongside.

There's guys climbed up into the rigging. My God. A meal fit for a king. I feel like the idea of Billy's become an orator of food. And I go, also, there's another thing. You know how like Billy forgets stuff? Mm-hmm. I think eventually he probably will forget me. And I want you to make me a promise that when he forgets me, you'll let him forget me. Sorry. No, that's really sad. Because he has to. He's too little. That's a lot of feelings. It's a lot of stuff he has to not remember.

Eventually he has to forget me. Tucky doesn't have to forget you while I'm still around. Those feelings are okay for him to have. And he needs to know that too. He can forget in his own time, but he won't forget you while I'm still around. Okay, how about this? Just tell him stories about me. Not that I was his dad. Not that I was, I traveled with you guys. But just tell him the stories of what we did together. Okay. I can do that. It'll be very hard.

I guess that's that's your scar to carry, man. It's your price to pay. Fuck. Brutal. We cut back up top. Billy, the crowd is dispersed. You're just dreaming about the big sandwich that you thought of. I'm just dreaming about the sandwich. The sandwich? Yeah. Well, you're thinking about the sandwich. Oh, yeah. Daydreaming as you're looking with your binoculars out into the misty day. You've been traveling for hours and hours now.

The sun is high in the sky, but it's still just as gray as it's been since you set sail. Except in the distance, now, just over the horizon, you see smoke. I wander up to Oleander. Hey, kid, what's going on? There's some smoke up ahead. Oh, what? Yeah, take a look. He reaches down and pulls out an actual spyglass. He sees you holding your hand, hands up to him and goes, okay. And he grabs the spyglass that he has and he unfurls it and he puts it up to his eye and goes, oh, yeah.

Ooh, that's a lot of smoke. Where is it coming from? And he looks closer as the ship sails a little bit closer and he goes, I think it's a village. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I see buildings. Oh, no. Are we near a place? He looks at the chart that he keeps next to the wheel and he looks at the map and he looks at the map and he looks at the map and he points at an island that has no name. Okay. But he's like, yeah, I guess it's not named on the map, but I guess people live out here.

Maybe go get the other two. Okay. I've got the blanket. I get out of the blanket. I'm too burritoed up. And this is an emergency. Okay. So I go downstairs to where Tuck and Ving are. Hey. Hey, why are you crying? We're not. What are you talking about? You're crying. You're crying. You're crying. I'm not crying. You're crying. No, there's cats down here or something. Really? Okay. Later, tell me where the cat went. Okay.

So I came to tell you that there, I saw some smoke and it looks like there's a village burning. We're near land. Oh, fuck. What? We might have to stop and look at it. Okay. And Maggie is… Sorry. That was the worst. No. No, that's perfect. That's exactly what the kid would say. Do you want to do it again? Yeah. Okay. Do it again. I think Oleander wants to take a stop there. Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah. That's bad. Also. What? What? No, that makes sense. What? Do it again. One more time.

I don't know what to say. This is how many times Billy has said it. Yeah. Try it one more time, buddy. No. We believe in you. No. I don't want to say it anymore. What don't you want to say? I don't want to say that we have to take a break. We have to take a look at the burning village because it feels stupid. So come up when you want to. You go back above deck and Oleander is standing there with Maggie and he looks at the three of you and says, we have to take a look at the burning village. See?

And he goes, you know, out here, it's always good to stop and look for salvage. You know, it sounds a little cold hearted, but if there's anything, there we can use, we should grab it. Yeah, man, we're totally down with grave robbing. Oh, sick. Okay, perfect. Yeah, we're going to go rob some graves. And if there are people there that need help, we can help them too.

So you get closer to the village and it is like a piece of shit rock, basically with like some grass, but mostly just a small collection of really shabby buildings with like a crappy jetty and some boats. Nothing is actively like on fire on fire, but there's a lot of smoldering. It looks like the snow has gone a long way to putting stuff out, but some of the buildings look like they're caved in and you see lumps, even from this distance that look like bodies. Under snow? Fuck.

Yeah, under like a layer of snow and Ollie drops anchor and is like, all right, who's, you guys want to come? Oh, yeah. I'll maybe hang back with Billy. Sure. Okay. Maggie goes, I'll come with you and Corinne's like, yeah, I'll come too. And Perilla's like, no thanks. Yeah. And I go, Billy, Billy, show me this feast that you made. Okay. It's a lot. So get ready. There's 44 courses. And it's all a sandwich. So we start at the bottom here. Course one, bread.

And Tuck is kind of just trying to distract Billy from like whatever fucked up thing is going on just in case it's too fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, totally. So Ving, you hop in a little boat and they row ashore and you step foot on this rock in the middle of the ocean. And yeah, you see what I described just a little bit closer. There are buildings. Most of them are destroyed. Some of them are smoldering and it seems like there are bodies of some fashion under the snow. Everybody's dead.

No one's alive that you can see. Discern realities. All right. 2d6 plus wisdom. Nine. Perfect. You get one question. What here is useful to me? What happened here recently? There we go. That makes more sense. I thought we were here to rob some graves, motherfucker. Yeah. Every like Ollie, Maggie and Kareem start like picking around. Ollie like nudges a body with his foot and goes, fuck, what happened here? And there are several human bodies. Some holding weights. Some holding weapons.

Um, mostly men and women of like adult age. Uh, but not as many as the buildings would suggest, which makes you think that either some people were taken or, uh, some people escaped. Hmm. But a couple of the other bodies, uh, strike you as extremely unusual. Uh, there's one that is much larger than the human bodies, uh, also covered in a layer of snow and another that is smaller, but of a very strange, uh, shape. Hmm. Let me check them out. Yeah.

So you, um, go and you wipe the snow off and it is, uh, a leopard seal. Hmm. And you wipe the snow off the other one and it's a sea lion and they have both died in a fight. It looks like what the heck didn't you have a vision of this? No. Did I, uh, you had a vision a while ago of jaws and dark eyes, uh, and the wall of fog. Yeah. The wall of fog. Oh shit. About the thing that travels in the fog. Wait. So are there any humans?

Yeah, there's a, there are humans, but it looks like they died fighting the animals. Sea mammals. Yeah. Is there tracks? Can I see tracks? Uh, you can see some tracks. There are boots here and there. You're looking at the tracks and you see a combination of, uh, human and sea mammal tracks. Uh, and then you're tracking one particular group of people that looked like they were just torn apart and the way that you're like able to track the movement and how things went down.

It looks like one particularly large animal was responsible for this whole group of people. And as you're following the tracks back to the ocean, they transition from huge flippers to large human footprints. Whoa. Hmm. Billy and tuck from the boat. Uh, in the distance you hear horns and that's where we're going to end it for this week. Oh God. Whoa. I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma dome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz.

So long playing Ving, the half elf Druid, Paul offers, take care and playing fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica tie. Bye everyone. Uh, thank you as always to Aaron Reed for our incredible intro and outro music. Uh, thank you to all of our amazing Patrion supporters around the world. You can support us on patrion at patrion.com slash spelt Lord or at spelt Lord.com. Uh, and you can find us on the internet at spelt Lord. Most places. Thank you to all of you for listening.

We'll see you next time. And so when's the tale of adventures three, who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost baby for time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be long, we'll be back when we're back. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you liked it, please subscribe to our channel and hit the bell button. I'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. We will not leave.

Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly spout more

Spout Lore is made possible by contributions from our listeners if you would like to support us go to patreon.com Spout Lore where you can get extra bonus special content gather round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tuck is the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight fingers have health he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might billy's a thief his tiny size does max the largest heart best and brightest they may not be but their friendship outweighs their smarts so gather round friends and listen you for the tales about to start hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz hello everybody playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers hello there and playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie hi everyone when last we left our heroes they experienced the final moments of the magi as the power of the spirit walker overcame his physical form uh pushing him closer and closer to death ving gave roth the opportunity to have the power removed from him and roth chose to die instead billy helped make roth's final moments a little bit more pleasant a little bit more comfortable as ving bid the animal spirits to leave roth as he passed from this world and then was cremated on the top of the mountain and he was killed by the power of the spirit walker and then was cremated on the top of the tower of the light guard fort I assume by ving uh in some fashion or just somebody lit him on fire that's a little bit less uh ceremonious ceremonious somebody just with a lighter like click click click it's not I feel like it was more that it took 45 minutes to even get him up against the side of his shoe it's someone just goes up as like uh you did a little bit of look at the light guard fort and you're like oh my god I'm so scared around in the tower but I'm really proud of you guys because you didn't really steal anything from this place you just kind of left except for the mirror except for the mirror shard which you found which was a secret room yeah like you found us yeah and you went through like the chambers of what looked to be the captain's council and didn't take a thing except for norman's legs except for norman's legs you took two things uh that were mismatched wooden appendages which you returned to storm and norman on your unceremonious retreat from the fort uh you informed norman that his life's work had been completed and he went off for new adventures in lands unknown maggie and kareen met back up at a vertog umberath's clinic and had a moment alone as they discussed uh what their relationship and partnership was going to look like going forward or if kareen just wanted to leave awkward it probably kind of really was probably a very uncomfortable conversation probably still is kind of weird yeah between them yeah you went and found captain oleander dreyfus to ask him if you could charter his boat uh to the frozen north found him getting thrown through a window at the hound uh you sat down at the hound and did a little bit of planning billy gave perel or showed perel the bag of magic crystals that he recovered from the mysterious assassin and told everybody that uh he was experiencing some unusual emotions when in contact with the crystals perel explained that the goggles and the weapon that the assassin carried um are part of a discipline that existed pre-exodus that I have changed the name to it's now called arcanics cool and that the knowledge for this should be if not totally lost very hard to find and probably uh very difficult to work with but someone is doing it somehow pretty fucking sick you met gull a stressed out 17 year old uh waiter at the hound and we left a huge tip for him oh massive it was he quit the next day yeah it's just like oh my god I'm rich forever ving left him uh one of the sunstone pieces that he has he's living like a king I'll go ahead and race that off thank you bill uh and then you headed down to the dock to prepare to cast off on oleander ship the sun runner uh and met up with maggie and kareen who has decided to come with you the journey began billy regaled a group of uh hardened sailors with a delicious meal idea that he had it was sort of halfway between a puppet show and a menu yeah this world's example uh analog to like food blog posts yeah I guess so yeah uh while tuck and ving had a very uh uh uh!

Difficult conversation below decks about um ving's recent healing of his body and his acceptance of uh the light of the moon into his spiritual essence yeah I guess you could call that acceptance still wondering what the heck yeah like no one's really sure what it means just that ving has been healed of his uh nature's price and tuck chose that moment to let ving in on the uh prophecy that he was delivered by uh amamargani back in mccall about uh how tuck believes I can't stress this enough tuck believes that he is going to die he's gonna die for sure I'm dead I'm fucking living on borrowed time this is him in the mirror every morning you're a dead man in like the mirror shard yeah oh man he stopped brushing his teeth like a month ago yeah that's a shaved sense I gotta save every second of time I have left yeah that's why he's doing such intense intermittent fast so he doesn't shit or eat he doesn't waste time on shitting or eating yeah he's sleeping so much less because he's like I I don't have time for this I don't have time for eight hours a night yeah he always has a little bucket of water with him just in case he sees a bush on fire you're not gonna get me like that uh and he told ving that uh tuck knows he's gonna die first and when he does uh he knows that billy will eventually forget about it and he's gonna die first and when he does uh he knows that him and tuck asked ving when billy forgets me let him forget me oh my god so sad uh and then spotted on the horizon billy saw smoke rising into the air and we came upon a ruined and smoldering collection of wooden buildings village is maybe a strong word for what you found on a little rock in the ocean oleander said hey maybe we should stop they might have useful supplies that we could scavenge and went ashore with maggie corrine and ving ving found uh bodies under the snow evidence of a battle and human bodies holding weapons that seem to die in defense of whatever this little outpost is and the bodies of two seals one leopard seal and one sea lion and the tracks of one gigantic sea mammalian of some kind descending towards the water uh transitioning into human footsteps and as billy and tuck were watching from the vessel horns sounded in the fog and that is where we find our heroes now and then tuck yells from the from the vessel to the shore did you did you guys hear the horns that came out of the fog uh yeah ollie like everybody on this island heard it too they all look towards the fog and then tuck yells from the from the vessel to the shore and then billy and tuck were watching from the north and ollie's like oh we should go we should get out of here okay uh uh see if you can grab anything grab it but we we got to go now I grabbed some weapons a spear uh yeah you found whatever weapons the the uh the animals are holding uh the animals aren't holding any weapons the humans have like swords and hatchets ving is trying to saw off a tusk as fast as you can go anywhere go anywhere go anywhere!

Go anywhere We are talking about a leopard seal and a sea lion, so they don't have any tusks. Hey, these ones do. Oh, yeah. A lot of marine mammals have, because remember the orcas? They had tusks. Because we said they were like orcs. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Let's say the sea lion does have bottom jaw tusks. Oh, yeah. Two jutting tusks. Okay. But yeah, they kind of hurry back to the boat.

And Ollie's like, yeah, I don't know if whoever did this is going to come back, but we should probably just get on the boat and figure out what we're going to do. Okay. And yeah, a few minutes later, you climb back up on the deck of the Sunrunner. What do you find? Just this. I hold the tusk to Billy. And some footprints. I don't know. It looks like a druid attack. There's a bunch of dead people, some dead animals. It's horrible.

I mean, and then he looks at Tuck and he's like, no, we didn't really find anything. He accidentally told Billy the traumatic thing. Yeah, it was mostly that they were having a meeting. Tuck's like, what the fuck are you doing? What are you doing, dude? Oh, fuck. I did it again, didn't I? So what were the horns? Does anybody, has anyone heard that before? Olyander, what was that? Oh, I've heard. I've heard. I've heard those horns before. What are they?

I've never seen what actually makes the sound. Can we Spout Lore for it or anything? 2d6 plus intelligence. Oh, Jesus. 11. Just saw us on. Whoa. Astounding. Zero intelligence. And you keep trying to get us to level up. Oh, my God. You are intelligent. Like, clearly, I don't need it. Yeah, you guys, currently, you already succeed at an average of at least one Spout Lore per season. So why would you update your intelligence at all? Okay, so interesting and useful.

So Olyander says, yeah, I mean, I've heard that the horns have been heard in relation to attacks like this. You know, the sinking of ships, the attacking of outposts. There seems to be, from what I understand, some kind of line in the area that people don't cross. If there are vessels that are found past that line, they might get attacked. If there are outposts or villages that are built above that line, they might get attacked.

It just seems that something or someone doesn't want people living or traveling through this area. Where's the line? I guess it's there. He points at the smoldering village. And Maggie. Maggie. Maggie says, I have heard stories of people, beings, creatures living in the fog. I mean, people call them selkies. Some kind of melding of human and sea life. And they're vicious. They're fishes? They're fishes? Vicious. Oh, vicious. Sorry, I can't understand your accent sometimes.

Well, we better not take any of these selfies then. How many keys do they sell on an average day? I'm going to go look and see. Sorry. If I can see anything. Maggie, no way. I'm sorry. We use humor as a form of diffusing tense situations. I understand. I understand. Yeah. So Maggie tells you, yeah, that there are stories about people called selkies living in the gray, which is what I've decided to call this area of fog. So sick. And that they are known for being pretty vicious. Hmm.

And Oleander adds, yeah. And I mean, it sounds like, like you've heard of the black ships, right? No. Black long ships in the fog. Yeah. Stories. Anybody that's ever seen them. Few people have survived. I, you maybe catch a glimpse. I caught a glimpse of one once, but I was able to outrun it. Thankfully. What? How? Well, and he kind of pats the wheel of the sun runner. He goes, I don't envy anyone in a slower boat, which is most people. You know what I mean? Can I Spout Lore on the black ships?

Yeah. Or the selkies? Yeah. Yeah. Use one black ships. Okay. I think I would know more about the black ships. You actually, uh, created them. Hmm. You Abdul came up with this idea. What a talented man. I am 26 plus intelligence. Talented amnesiac. I appear to be, and that's a force. So I want it. I can't wait to hear. Yeah. Tell me about these boats. Also mark some experience. Oh, yeah. Point of experience. And tell us what Tuck knows about the boats. Don't make it.

I make it a thing that he, he thinks is true. Uh, talk. Thinks that these boats are commercial cruise liners. Okay. Comedians in McCall go and work on. Yeah. I was thinking something more like he thinks they're ghost ships or, uh, Oh, or does he think they're commercial cruise line? No. Okay. So like the stories that he's been told about them or like, or the, the albums that he's listened to that have like references to the black ships in the gray is an album called the black ships in the gray.

Uh, I realized as you said that the sentence you said was really cool. Yeah. That's what the, that's the title. Uh, but it says that they are, that they're giants, like that they're the remnants of the giants, the ones that escaped the transformation into the Orica and kind of like left the nation of McCall. They moved to where the divine flame of the Lord of the flame couldn't touch them. And they stayed kind of on the water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

They stayed on the water forever because the Lord of the flame couldn't kind of reach them there in the fog because there's like water in the air. So they kind of mitigated the transformation by staying in, in the gray. Um, and that the ships are like their nation essentially. Uh, and Kareem, uh, nods cause that's a story that she's been told as well. She's like, yeah, that's, that's what I've heard of them.

Uh, yeah, she's, she's, she's been very quiet, uh, during this journey, but she co-signs this story that tuck tells tuck fist bumps her. She thinks about it. She starts to put her fist out and then she pulls it back and then tuck goes, his fingers around, wiggles his fingers. Like he didn't do anything. He didn't mean to. Uh, yeah. So that's what you learn. I'm sorry. Are we in danger now? These horns getting closer to us. Should we set sail? Yeah. Can we just like go really fast?

Like rip ass through the gray. All right. And he rubs his hands together. Let's, uh, set sail. Let's do it. I'll keep an eye out for the pretty fishes. Keep an eye out for threats, Billy. Okay. Uh, and we're going to, uh, undertake a perilous journey. Okay. Ving's going to start stockpiling arrowheads along the sides. Oh, smart. Oh my gosh. And arrow shafts and bows. The whole thing. After like an hour. Shit. Okay. Uh, okay. So somebody, he's got to scout ahead and someone's got to navigate.

I'll help navigate. Okay. This time. Who's going to scout? I could scout. Okay. Can we change the quarter master role to like Ving getting weapons ready just in case there is an invade, an incursion? Yeah, sure. Armor master. There's a move called stay sharp. That is like when you're on watch and something approaches, uh, so that we could use that as kind of like how prepared you are for something to happen. Great. So stay sharp is, uh, two D six plus wisdom.

We'll do scout ahead first cause we might have to roll a bunch of shit. Yeah. Ooh, uh, eight. Okay. So you get one from the list below, get the drop on whatever lies ahead. Discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain. Make a capital D discovery. Notice sign of a capital D danger. Uh, get the drop on what's ahead. Okay, cool. So we'll figure out what might be ahead after we roll navigate. So that's two D six plus intelligence. Yeah. So tuck is helping Oleander with the maps. Five.

Uh, uh, excellent. And text job was to just like hold the map down. Well, cause the sun runner is going fast. The wind is blowing really hard and his job was to hold the map down while Oleander looked at it. Uh, uh, okay. And the map just like flies off. Uh, okay. Yeah. So you, yeah, go ahead and roll two D six plus wisdom for stay sharp. Okay. Uh, uh, uh, uh, eight, eight. Uh, so on a seven to nine, you managed to sound the alarm, but no one has time to prepare.

So that is, if something approaches, uh, which it very well may, you won't have time to prepare for it. Okay. Um, so yeah, you set sail and pick up speed as you approach the like towering wall of fog that marks the edge of the gray. Uh, and you know, when you're walking through mist and it's not like you see a wall and you walk into the wall, it just kind of becomes misty around you. Uh, the gray is different. You pass through a wall, like a veil of fog and then it's just gray and cold inside.

Cool. Immediately feel chilly. Yeah. And you make pretty good time for a while, but eventually you notice that the sails start like billowing and flapping and the wind starts to die down. And then eventually it's totally still. No. And the boat, the sun runner just kind of drifts to a halt and starts kind of bobbing in the water. Can we row? Do you have oars? Uh, yeah, we got oars below deck. We could try and row. Row. Row. To the oars. I, I scurry down the steps to the deck below. Yeah.

To the row deck. I, I scurry behind Billy. And Billy, you see rows and rows of oars that are so much bigger than you for sure. Oh boy. All right. I will take the smallest one. A ladle. Yeah. Just a little ladle that you poke out the window. I'm helping. I, my rowing tactic is Billy's like jumping up and down sort of like a seesaw. Oh, cool. That's pretty good. Great. It's kind of helping. I'm just slapping the water. Yeah.

And tuck sits kind of in the middle of the vessel and grabs an oar on either side of him and just starts hammering it. Yeah. Yeah. Jolts the boat forward. Every time he rows it like, it's like, like a cartoon character. Uh, okay, great. So, so Ollie gets you guys to the rowers to make a steady, like, this is not a time to, you would never be able to row fast enough to outrun anything. So it's just about being able to move for as long as possible right now.

But everyone above deck is just looking out into the fog. It's weirdly quiet. Yeah. Even the sound, even the sound of the oars touching the water, the sounds muffled and something begins to take shape. And the fog and drifting closer to you resolving into a clear image is what looks to be a small two seater dinghy with no one in it. And then another one and then a slightly larger vessel. And there's just dozens and dozens of empty boats drifting out of the fog. Whoa. There's too many of them.

And they just begin to float past you. Float past you. Completely devoid of life. Oh, that's so eerie. Yeah. I'm going to jump down into one overboard into a boat. Okay. Yeah, you absolutely can. I'm going to check it out. Yeah. Defy danger dexterity. Seven. So yeah, you jump down into one of these boats. Vings says, I'll be right back. And then steps up on the thing and jumps without looking down. The boat rocks pretty hard. No oars or anything in here.

No real damage that you can see, but certainly a significant amount of dried blood. Oh, yikes. Fuck. Hmm. Yeah, it's blood. I think comes up on deck looking off. That's definitely blood. Uh, yeah. So these boats just sail by like a black parade. Is there, is there more and more of them as we go further and further in? I think there is enough that you lose count, but you do eventually come to like the edge of this fleet, this barren fleet.

As it drifts back into the fog behind you and disappears from view. Oh, okay. Totally normal. All he says, nothing to worry about. Billy's back up on the top deck after hearing all the ruckus. Um, can I use trap expert? Oh, oh yeah. Good idea. Okay. Sick. 12. Fuck. So on a 10 plus, I get three questions. All three. Okay. So if, is there a trap? And if so, what activates it? Yes, there is. Certainly. There is a trap in the sense of danger, uh, that you might not be able to recognize.

Billy, you are feeling a lot of sensations that other people don't usually pick up. And you're realizing that this fog is not ordinary fog. Something about this fog shifts and moves the place around you in an unnatural way. Like the landscape? Yeah. Like this, like going forward in this fog might not be the same as going forward on the open sea. The fog itself is dangerous. What does the trap do when activated? You think that if you were to get sufficiently lost in here, you would stay lost.

What else is hidden here? Just as the, like you're following the boats as they're starting to drift by, like Billy's walking down the deck and you see just as the, uh, as they're about to get into the fog proper behind you, you see one of them rock, uh, as a person like grips to the side and like hoists themselves up out of the bottom of one of the smaller boats. Look, look, look, Bing, Oleander. They start to wave their arm. Um, can I like use my Bill noculars to look closer? Yeah.

It looks like a, like a young, like maybe teenage girl, like a teen really like emaciated looks really, uh, pale kind of grayish complexion, almost long stringy blonde hair, just exhausted sunken eyes. Looks very weak. Like she's been without food or nourishment or medical care for a long time. Do I roll or anything to look close? Yeah, you can roll to certain realities if you want. Sure. Yeah. 10. Billy's knocking it out of the park right now. Yeah. Billy's on high alert. Yeah.

I think because like, so I think because we're so close to hibernia and like this area, Billy's getting a lot of like, it's almost like he's in a different, you know, like a radio station. Like you're almost like tuned in differently. So that's why he like feels the fog different. Like he, he feels like a buzzy electric feeling of sort of ringing. Everything's clear and crisper. Yeah. Yeah. Closer to the homeland. Yeah, totally. The fairy blood is strong here.

He's got a bag of those crystals too. Yeah. He's got the crystal bagels. What's wrong with me? Where did that even come from? I think I was thinking about Billy looking at the menu. I was like at the bottom of the burger is the bagel. Crystal bagels. Okay. He's got the bag of crystals. There we go. I see. Okay. You get three questions off to certain realities. What here is not what it appears to be. Hmm.

I think the way that she is waving at you is vigorous in a way that you would not expect somebody that looks that unhealthy to be able to wave. Okay. But maybe it's just a, I'm on my last legs. I need to give everything I can to try and get to try and get somebody's attention sort of thing. Who is really in control here?

So you're looking closer at her as she bobs around this boat and then you see another boat a little further away rock and a pair of eyes peek up over the side of that boat as well. Like a similar human, not an identical one, but another like young lean human form. Yikes. Okay. What happened here recently? Pure massacre. Okay. So the, the girl that you were watching wave at you seems to notice that the waving is not the same as the one that you were watching. Okay.

So you're looking at her and you're like, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Oh, Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh god like an old man and a younger man sit up in another boat what is are these zombies and they're just drifting more and more people appear in the boats as they continue to drift off into the fog all of them begin waving at you trying to get your attention gesturing you closer don't look at them don't look at them I wave no don't thing stop and the the woman holding the baby sees ving waving and beckons him closer I want to go no I grab things uh legs roll a defy danger wisdom thing eight yeah you really these people need help billy grabs a rope from the deck and he's he's tying it around things legs okay trying to tie him up basically yeah defy danger dexterity seven thing billy starts wrapping you up in a rope first you're like legs and then you know once he gets a hand he's trying to like get your hand attached to your leg yeah they'll need a rope to help get the boats back to this boat that's a good idea billy thank you tuck billy's trying to stop ving from seemingly jumping overboard yeah I've been rowing this whole time right and I hear I hear them struggling on the top deck you hear maggie going like what are you doing I'm like every ollie's like no get back get away from the side so I kind of I let the oars go and we slow down a little bit because I've been doing I've been doing yeah I look back and everyone is the dog behind me just talking they left you're the only ruler and uh I run upstairs and I see billy and and like basically fighting ving on the deck and you see other crew people along the sides like looking at these people that are gesturing them forward one person full-on goes over the side of the boat splashes into the water and starts swimming towards and tuck knows exactly what's going on he takes two of ving's flaps rips them off and then stuffs them in his ears and starts doing the wink blink uh can I roll for that uh yeah roll a defy danger wisdom okay zero wisdom seven seven nice uh whatever you're doing it's working it's definitely the wink blink that's helping you right now for sure and but and the kind of the the partial successes that I've had in the past is that I've been doing a lot of the work that I've been doing and I've have limited visibility half of the time and ollie sees you doing that he's like what are you doing and I'm like you too ollie billy's like yelling at tuck like grab everyone else off the deck take them down and tuck starts like anyone that's like gonna jump off the boat he's like smack him in the face really hard okay defy danger strength for that yeah 12 yeah you're in the middle of the boat and you're like oh my god I'm gonna jump off the boat you're able to grab like a bunch of people that are trying to dive over the side to go help these people something that you real that you notice as people uh are being pulled away they don't seem to be reacting the way that you recall reacting to the mermaids so they're not getting hard there's almost no they're not getting hard there's like nobody getting hard or wet on this deck at all right now um but billy thing is uh really like starting to gather up the rope and it's like thanks a lot oh no um ving what are you doing billy is trying to give you a rope so you can get something to help these people yeah I'm saying I'm laying I know it's okay I'm reaching for there's my harpoons nearby I'm gonna harpoon the lead boat and then start drawing it back in all right uh give me a defy danger dexterity for that throw I got 10 holy shit so you're still kind of tied up around your leg you're still kind of tied up around your leg I'm tying I'm tying the rope to the end of the harpoon yeah you're not able to get all of the rope for sure like billy still has you kind of restrained at least around the leg zone uh and you whip your harpoon out as hard as you can and it sails through the air above the water as the boats are drifting away I should say you're at the back of the boat and they're drifting past you so this is more of a back boat than lead boat and you hit the wood of a small rowboat without oars and a middle-aged man who is uh seems to be missing like a chunk of his side is like oh and he grabs the rope and he starts oh man pulling in towards the boat I've got the waning knife on me and I cut the rope yeah snaps right through it what are you doing I'm I'm helping uh vings harpoon begins to drift away on the boat uh the rope hits the water and starts trailing through oh shit is that a spear that's on that yeah that's his that's the spear yeah that's his harpoon fuck oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ving jumps in the water swims for the end of the rope and I'm just gonna go get that lead rope and bring it back to the ship with my speed belly uh yeah I know you're trying to help but that's not helping defy danger dexterity for this dive uh nine so you dive off the back of the sun runner a beautiful swan dive your arms thrown out to the side uh peeking as you hit the water and just before I go into the water they go back to my side and I'm like oh my god I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared and I land face first first right a big mouthful of uh ice cold seawater and something about the like bracing shocking abrupt cold of the water shakes your mind loose for a moment oh yeah it doesn't work underwater and underneath the water just below the surface kind of drifting down into the dark you see hundreds of bodies whoa and they're all like following the boats as they drift away what the heck and then goes he realizes what's going on yeah so you you break the surface and the ropes right there your harpoon is attached to the boat but um I grab it you could probably like with the rope you could probably yank it loose if you wanted to you think so I'm gonna try and yank it loose then yeah you grab the rope and just defy danger strength oh my god rip it out okay six six um I I I throw the rope overboard for ving 2d6 plus bond 12 great yeah so um you grab onto the rope and you can't quite get like the purchase kind of just floating in the water and the other end of the rope lands next to you and with that like against the weight of the boat yeah you're able to pop it loose and it comes flying at my face yeah roll a defy danger dexterity to not get smoked by your own harpoon uh seven okay um you can yank it really fast and get hit but get your harpoon or you can yank it a little bit slower and give whatever's on that boat the opportunity to grab on as well I'm gonna get hit okay roll your damage die so a d6 two yeah your harpoon comes back and nicks your cheek but it's not enough to seriously wound you just to kind of freak you out and now you're being pulled behind the sunrunner as this thing reaches out to you uh maggie and I are hauling the rope up trying to pull ving back on board yeah maggie's got it like billy you're helping for sure helping she's doing this beside her yeah hand over hand but uh yeah maggie's like corded shoulders you could just she's reeling it in like a fishing rod um ving as you're being pulled you're like watching the boats drift away and you see one of the crewmen that swam towards the dock get like helped up into one of the boats and like a woman in her early 20s in a in a bonnet and a dress like really weird old clothing uh sits him down in the boat and pats his shoulder and he's like oh my god I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so shoulders and he like just sits there placidly as the boat drifts away whoa can I Spout Lore about what's going on here yeah totally here we go wink blink do not fail so I got six so I could use an eight I'll eight I'm in the water I saw everything underneath the water I saw a bunch yeah nice nine sick so that makes it a seven uh you've heard stories thing you've heard them too about lost fleets for lack of a better like the boats are definitely not fleet worthy necessarily but people that have gotten lost in the fog and are spotted by sailors decades later or people that go missing and then stories about them are told by people way older that match descriptions or people that have ships that have been sunk in their crew have been seen drifting through the the water the prevailing theory is that they're the souls of people that have died but haven't been able to pass on because they remain lost in the gray whoa what what that means actually metaphysically in our world who knows if people have souls but uh the yeah the idea is that they're ghosts for lack of a better term this is a ghost fleet maybe ving was like subject to it because he's kind of like finding himself again hmm feeling a little unmoored yeah who he is well in the the pull of the moon too like that out of body yeah essence so the idea is that they just want help finding their way home so they try and attract people that might be able to get them there are they like evil or harmful uh harmful but not evil okay like that guy will probably be fine right they're not gonna eat his brains or anything right I don't know no yeah they're that is one thing is they're definitely not known to physically attack or kill people they just try and like lure them in and ask their help and most people that get that close agree and they're never seen again because no one can actually help yeah they're just gonna be lost forever is this related at all to mother never was in her army of has-beens and like could bees and stuff I would say not necessarily I think this is kind of a new sort of thing okay we're seeing like I think this is these are ghosts whoa yeah that's what tux says he's like guys I think these are ghosts you can stop doing that now so yeah so maggie reaches up and pulls one of your plugs out of your ear I said I think they're ghosts yeah what are you doing with these I was doing the wink blink what's the wink blink it's a way to keep mermaids from like getting you so horny that you jump into the water with them it actually works I believe it honestly if you only open one eye at a time and you block your ears you can't hear their beautiful song and you can't see their beautiful tits that much uh ollie's like great well now that we've got that out of the way I'm like you're you're treating me like I'm some kind of idiot but one day the wink blink will save your life yeah okay mermaids yeah sure if I ever see a mermaid I'll let you know he's also writing it down yeah wink blink don't look at it um yeah so all that is really well all that really remains is to continue I'd say it's getting kind of late so we might want to do like the camp moves basically okay make camp you know set a watch that kind of thing make camp when you settle into rest choose one member of the party to manage provisions which is the food thing that we're going to do then if you eat and drink you and you have enough xp you can leave the room and you can go to bed and you can go to bed and you can go to bed and level up and then I'll choose one person to roll a flat roll and that will determine how this evening goes so who's going to manage provisions I mean narratively billy's all over the food okay so manage provisions is 2d6 plus wisdom okay 12 of course I did a really good job I even organized all the food in like kind of a sandwich form like themes of food are all stacked up nicely okay well on a 10 plus you choose one from the list below careful management reduces the amount of rations consumed or the party consumes the expected amount of food you prepare and it is excellent describe it and everyone who licks their lips takes plus one forward okay so the food I I choose the second one obviously and everyone eats a regular amount I billy makes like pirate food which is just like a lot of beef jerky and lime wedges bread of sorts that he smeared with cheese of sorts some cheese um and and he decorated it with a bunch of clam shells that he still had and yeah um billy opened up one of the jars of wapple jelly whoa oh okay I need people lick their lips I billy says this yeah it's like you don't even appreciate what I mean he has to reveal his lips this is entrancing this looks like the sea singer like I know we should be taking a picture of this or something for content but I can't look away all right okay all right so you get plus one forward and you get plus one back so you get plus one back so you get plus one back so you get plus unfortunately I wish I could take it away it looks so disgusting uh paul how did how what does ving feel about this food oh ving loves it the jelly is such a perfect sweetness after that smeared hard cheese and the hard tack yep I don't think it was supposed to be hard but great job saving some stale bread beautiful and there we go and uh the cheese that he he put he smeared on the bread while delicious and soft and extremely aged uh tuck is looking at a pile of uh mouse traps that billy emptied in the bottle and he's like where do all these mouse traps come from we don't have any mice so like they're not gonna eat it his fingers have bandages on them dangerous there has to be a better way he was just triggering didn't even consider trying to get it off without setting it off yeah his fingers are so swollen like sausages yeah yeah added respect for louise how does billy feel about this food billy feels great he's been looking at his lips the whole time you got to do it audibly the people can't see there we go so you get a plus one forward so everyone's gonna add a plus one to their next roll uh then somebody's gonna roll plus nothing who has the worst luck I think vang has the worst luck right now yeah jesus roll 2d6 and don't add anything going pretty good for me guys you just jumped into the water to try and give yourself over to a ghost fleet okay it's just when you said paul I thought it was outside of the game okay yeah 2d6 plus nothing boom nine so on a seven to nine I choose one from the list below the first one is the person on watch notices the nearby capital d discovery one party member of the gm's choice suffers a restless night one or more followers causes trouble a capital d danger approaches it's not immediately hostile but whoever's on watch it better stay sharp anyways so who is on watch right now do we think middle of the night no I I would take watch because I don't trust vang to be alone right yeah why because of the the people in the boat because you jumped in the water no I'm fine now man he's just saying looking off the back of the boat squinting I think you should go maybe like below jackson like rest how would I rest up you can rest up here okay okay tuck you're standing on watch the night is gray the sea is gray yeah the moon is a lighter gray you're standing on the deck just keeping watch normal walking around you know some people have gone to sleep they're sleeping on the deck a lot of the times um so many couches on the deck yeah one the sunrunner is quite a lot smaller than the uh than me what sorry I just had an image of like billy like the sunrunner and I'm like oh my god I'm so sorry like like burrito dub and like him rolling around on the deck as he's back and forth yeah gentle rocking it was every couple seconds he rolls through the frame uh yeah there are people sleeping on on couches on pullout couches on the top of the deck and some people blow and you see through the fog illuminated by the faint diffused moonlight uh what looks like a like a sandbar or like a bunch of like rocks coming out of the water and you look a little bit they kind of wind through the waves to your to the right hand side of the ship and you kind of follow it with your eyes and you realize there's like an island island uh over to the right in that direction oh shit yeah there's land over there ollie uh-huh there's land over there what do I say ho there's a hoe over there we should go land we should go land ho oh uh no oh is that a good idea I mean I don't know I mean maybe there's something valuable on that island billy rolls by and he's like maybe there's treasure and then rolls away or snack being standing beside you what if there's someone who needs help we're out of apple jelly this keeps rolling by and we need more bread and cheese to come to think about it you know what you guys are right what if there is something valuable on that island waffles okay we're gonna make landfall but only until things get really weird we can tolerate a little bit of weird in search of uh profit but if it gets really weird we're leaving okay we establish a marker of what really weird is out okay so like up higher in this marker if a uh an endless parade of empty boats float by with the souls of the damned inside we're gonna go all right does everybody agree with that yeah yeah okay we put our hands and then we say all this is handed one two three agree okay you guys are learning how we do it on the sun runner all right so okay how about we do it on the sun runner all right voice oh yeah yeah I'd go to pick the flower but it starts bleeding and screaming uh-huh I've been there what do you think about that is that too weird or do we still stick around my question to you is there any boats floating by with zombie people not at all my friend not that weird of a situation not that weird not that weird so we stick around if we if we come to a flower with our father's voice that screams and bleeds yeah yeah yeah okay everybody your hands in okay one two three agree okay into the sidebar what I come up to this island there is normal looking sand I step on it starts spiraling sucking me under but there's a bottom limit to which I am taller than okay a parrot comes out of my mouth speaking with my voice telling me to go in back down to the dirt where there is some pineapple jelly uh what weird or not weird uh well I mean your head is above the level of the sand right you said so you're not in mortal peril also let me ask you a question is there a parade of ghost ships floating by there is not okay I don't think that's weird okay everybody put your hands in one two three all right I mean what if we land on on the island and I'm brought back into time uh back to the the eldridge years of no longer in the sand and we're not in the sand anymore there's no land or space and my body is not my body but I am one with everything and everything speaks to me and I hear everything all at once but also never at all is that weird okay so you're you're part of everything you're seeing everything you're hearing everything but are you seeing the ghost an endless parade of souls of the damned yeah no no not that weird I don't think that's okay everybody hands in one two three agreed okay and this has been a series of scenes where I was like the first one we were on the deck and talking and the second one we were in a little dinghy going to the island and then the last one we're like on the shore just talking about and there's in the background as billy is describing being one with the universe one of the pirates is just like what the fuck he's got a hell of imagination uh it was one of the fat skinny guys yeah totally yeah the two fat and skinny yeah they're the two guys you always see yeah short and mcguire uh okay so I think maggie and kareen and perel all agree to come on the island as well so they'll be around if you need their help with anything and we literally have a single data point for what is too weird which is an empty vessel uh filled with the souls of the damned yeah black parade floating by yeah totally uh so I'm gonna be this is I'll part the veil a little bit no idea what this island's about you can explore to your heart's content uh we don't know what's on here maybe we'll find something cool maybe we decide to leave oleander wants to look around and see if there's at least uh if there is anything super valuable that they could grab okay or maybe some food the island I'm imagining is a real like gray stony island kind of covered in evergreen trees uh there are sheer rock cliffs on some sides the side that you're on is the lowest but there's probably another beach or shoreline on the other side of the island it's kind of cramped in a way there are forested areas of a rocky hill but a lot of like nooks and crannies that you could poke around in cool yeah does it seem inhabited at all any signs of other people being here let's roll it to certain realities all right does that guys you can you can re-roll re-roll the brown one that was that'd be considered a jack die snake eyes god wanted it to happen like this excellent so you plus what sorry plus intelligence plus wisdom three cool uh so ving is wandering or what was that face I had an idea for what the the consequence was but no I want to hear it uh because he you made that promise to the snakes the promise to the snakes I don't remember that when we were when we were all high on ghost route they made you promise to help them get through to this side that promise might be coming due oh whoa interesting release them on the island um!

I that's what that's why I thought of it because it was a snake oh yeah uh well I mean I kind of like the idea maybe ving you're wandering around like everybody's just kind of spreading out on the island basically to see what they can find and um you feel a concentration of spiritual energy nearby something similar to sort of the conflicts that happened on the boat but more similar to sites of significance to the druids that you felt like in the principalities like in the north or in the great forest oh shit and you follow this feeling through a copes cops whatever of fir trees and you find nestled in um like a tumble of rocks at the base of like a stony hill what looks to be a fountainhead like a spring of crystal clear water kind of bubbly up from the ground forming this like natural well in the rocks cool I want to take some put a mason jar yeah it's ice cold and feels so nice so refreshing I'm I'm very tempted to have a drink but I'm not going to oh but you should I know think of how refreshing it would be that would be great think about hydrating you know I'm gonna make billy and tuck drink some first but uh yeah there's something about this the feeling of this place that's very familiar to you and you hear in your head in your soul like kind of a hissing and then remember you promised us mufasa remember yeah you promised a promise is a promise and talk what are you up to uh I walked down to like one of the shorelines right like one of the kind of like rockier beaches on the the island and I'm looking around and uh I recognize it from the vision of lillian and chimes and rian on like a young rian on a beach oh interesting yeah from that like little secret room in the light guard fort and I recognize it because the beach looks exactly the same but like on one of the sort of like rock faces that like the beach backs onto there's like a carving that a child made with a knife of like a small like one person dinghy like it's like a kid's drawing of a boat with like the triangle sail and I remember that from the division and yeah so this something about this beach does seem very familiar and this extremely faded keep that in mind you think that this might resemble kind of the design of like how a kid would draw a boat but it might also just be cracks and worn um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um like investigate and look for like good foods and stuff in this area oh okay 11 wow okay so billy knows that you can eat these flowers because they also grow uh in the in the everwood valley they're more they grow bigger and more lush out there but they have little ones here and they kind of taste like little strawberries cool yeah very sweet um and the herbs uh it's just like an oniony kind of herb that mirrors taught him that you can eat so he's gathering those um and he's really like rummaging around the roots of these trees and it's like he hears stuff oh like it's almost like the trees are like trying to like talk to him whoa interesting cool so you do get questions from the discern realities list oh I do yeah you get three because you got an 11 wow!

Fuck yeah what here is useful or valuable to me yeah you uh it does seem like the trees are trying to speak to you this tree that you're near is trying to communicate something to you in some way you think yeah billy's not sure what it's trying to say but he does feel a weird like kind of like familiar sense um what here is not what it appears to be um you are looking around the bases of these trees you're just like oh something you this feels familiar in some way still continuing to gather your little berries and herbs and then you notice at the base of this tree it looks like something was carved into it uh and you follow that carving up and there's more carvings and more carvings and you realize that most of the trees in this little grove uh have words and runes carved into them can I read them yeah I think you can yeah so billy like find some stuff and then you're like oh my god I'm gonna go to the tree and go to the tree and go to the tree and go to the tree and go to the tree and go to the tree and go to the tree high up actually in these this tree and he realizes he's been reading like seeing so much of it he sees like tall figures like weird robes and like loose clothing and a lot of clothing that's just made from the plants here he sees like that certain plants have like uprooted themselves and and and learned to like I don't want to say like walk but like move yeah like they move and then like through their life cycles like become more humanoid oh that's really cool interesting so that's what the runes are saying to you yeah it's kind of drawing that history about it cool is this the the origins of like humanoid fairies maybe maybe like there were pieces of the land that decided to become more maybe yeah there's a part of the tree part of the tree talks of boats that arrived here carrying these taller humans oh oh taller isn't like taller than average like people now like ving size yeah like taller than billy oh interesting hmm what should I be on the lookout for now that I'm up in this tree yeah totally yeah um you are up in the tree and you get a pretty good look at the island uh and on the other side the far side of the island is a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of where everybody is like it kind of the island goes up to a peak and then drops back down to the water you see on a jutting rock over the water on the other side of the island a rough old looking uh stone tower small like a squat ish kind of round watchtower looking structure yeah crumbled like part of the top of the tower is crumbled away looks like the elements have gotten to it but there's an old structure billy feels pretty safe on this island actually um so I think he's gonna go there nice sweet cool ving these voices in your head are getting pretty insistent that you help them yeah it's the snakes isn't it he says to the voices very good thank you so how are you going to get us out of here out of my head into the world into the world baby where are you now snake babies we're in the spirit world we're nearby but we could be closer can you show yourself uh you see shimmering in the surface of the well a reflection of like two snakes coiling around each other ving puts his head down into the pool submerging his gills entering the spirit water oh it gulps into fresh air spirit air you feel uh yourself pass through the veil between the material and the spirit whoa whoa and this appears to be yeah some sort of extreme thinning and this and the snakes are like swimming around each other in the water underneath you like circling what do you want of the real world and they're like you want to know the weird thing don't even know we don't know what it's like over there we want to we want to find out we want to experience the material we want to experience real solid earth beneath our scales I mean ving's not he knows it's not a great idea these spirit snakes into the world yeah certainly not what can I give of you I can give you a taste of the real world into yours I can bring something here I can't bring you back that was not the deal yeah well it's what I got for you uh what are you offering them specifically the moon what do you mean a part of the moon spirit I can bring you part of the full moon I can bring you moon juice you looking for moon stuff I got plenty because I think I might have some of that deep inside of me a well of moon juice ving is still figuring out his new powers yeah totally he's looking at them like maybe they know about the moon juice one of them is like bro are you offering us drugs because I don't want to dmt what are you looking for you were looking for moon juice I got Moon juice, bro.

Interesting. So I guess what are you offering to do for them? Like imbue them with this moon light? Give them something of the spirit of the moon here to take back to be part of their dominion. Interesting. They can become celestial moon snakes. Holy shit. You want to be forever? Become part of the sky. Okay. Roll a 2d6 plus charisma for a parlay. Okay. 10. Whoa. Interesting. They say to each other. You were my eyes. Now see with thine own eyes. The moon juice. Okay.

You can stop trying to sell us on it. We've been sold. Okay. Okay. Cool. So you're going to make us one with the moon spirit. I guess so. What? What would that do at this point? I mean, no idea what it did do. It could be like, you know how like some animals respond to the moon, like, but snakes don't like it could like fuck with their like circadian rhythm. Makes snakes nocturnal. Yeah. Or something. Maybe it'll give them more night sight. Yeah.

It's probably going to have some interesting ramifications. There's like, it's sort of like Chinese mythology with dragons, but like there's a whole thing where it's like, you know, in architecture. They've got all these circles for the dragons to like be able to travel through. It could be a thing where it's like maybe when the moon is full, that's when the snakes can come visit like the real plane. Whoa. Yeah. And then as it like wanes, then they're sent back to the spirit world. Yeah.

I can't give you this world all the time, but when the moon is full, you can come and visit. That's fucking rad. Really sick. Yeah. Very cool. The idea that, cause we've been talking about how like the moon is different in this world. The idea that it like mediates the distance between the, like the spirit realm and the material in the material realm also like lines up with the historical precedent that like the shattering happened and then stuff collapsed. Yeah.

When I like that, it means that the light, the physical light parts of the moon are different than the dark parts of the moon too. Yeah. Different chunks falling. Mm-hmm. That's cool. Yeah, that's sweet. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. Yes. We accept. Okay. How do we do this? It's gonna get weird, bro. No. Come at me, bro. They just, you feel yourself compelled to plunge your hands into the pool as well.

Your arms getting, going deep into the, this reserve, this well of water as the two snakes coil up each of your arms basically, and just kind of spin. And then as they uncoil, they head back down your arms and they begin to glow with this like bright white brilliance. Yeah. Of the moonlight that you've come to know. Mm-hmm. The well is glowing with the light of the moon. Mm-hmm. Ooh. And they begin to swim in a circle in the well following one another, forming this like brilliant white circle.

And they carry on back down the well and disappear from sight, this light following them. Our deal is done. Thank you. He puts his hand out for a fist bump. They swim back up and they- They bop your face. Yeah. They bob your head with a fist and then they swim back down and they disappear from sight back into the spirit world. Okay. Ving just stands up, his head's like dripping, his hair just looks around. Okay, nobody saw that. There might be no ramifications.

Let's see how long I can keep this under wraps. The shot shifts to a wide of Ving just starting to run away from the beach that he's on. Two gigantic moonlit snakes chase him down the island. Tuck. What are you doing? Yeah, it cuts back to Tuck and he took the waning knife from Billy before he left the ship and you can see he went to where the carving of that little dinghy was and he retraces it and carves it back in from what he remembers from the vision in the keep.

And then next to it he carves the runic symbols of Tuck, Billy, and Ving which… Which are like an X, a Y, and an M. Just like… I don't know, he's been thinking about impermanence a lot so he's like, I'll just make this drawing last a little longer and then I'll leave a piece of myself here. Yeah. And then I guess that's it. I like it as you run your hand down the rock to kind of clear away the dust and the pebbles that got cut loose. You hear on the wind a faint chiming.

I look out to the ocean. It's clear. It's a clear, gray, dreary night. And I yell, Chimes! Chimes, is that you? No. I hear that on the wind. Chimes, who? Billy. Yeah, Billy is singing to himself. Really like jovial. Yeah. Really happy mood. Feeling energized. As he like traipses through the forest towards the tower. Mm-hmm. Did you tell anybody about the tower? Or are you just going by yourself? Nope. I just went by myself. Jesus fucking Christ. Excellent. Yeah.

And it's the closer you get, I'm going to retcon the image that how it looks a little bit. It's more, it's a lot of stacked flat stones and it's still quite tall, but it kind of forms this like beehive shape. Like it's wide at the bottom and then arcs up to like a, Oh, cool. Thinner domed top. And there's a wooden old door pressed into one side and windows, three windows kind of like this side, the back and the other side. Yeah. Pretty. Yeah.

And a little worn trail in the grass that leads from the forest up to the rock and to the tower. Um, I just walk into it. Yeah. You come inside and it is a spare and dusty old living space. Like there's a wooden table that looks like it's seen better days. A couple shelves set into the stone stacked walls with like knickknacks here and there, but it's covered in a pretty significant layer of dust. Okay. Uh, discern realities. The shelves. Yeah. Wisdom. Eight. Eight. Okay.

So you get one question. Um, what here is useful or valuable to me? You are kind of just poking around doing your usual blind kid, like fumbling around, like what's this, what's that, what's this over here. And I'm on the shelf above what looks to be like an old destroyed, like bedroll or bed, something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah.

Corner you see a a circlet of woven sticks like small probably green branches when they were young were used to like form this kind of uh it looks like it was maybe big enough to be worn on someone's brow you're looking at it like oh cool a little little headband and then you notice in the whorls and twists and twigs and leaves uh long gone now of these uh woven branches are words in the ancient druid fairy language like the orientation of the sticks is used to write a word and it writes a name that you've seen before what is it iliana oh whoa holy fucking shit what and that's where we're gonna go next for this week I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz that's fucking wild playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers I'm stunned playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie this is exciting uh thank you to uh aaron reed for our intro and outro music stuns every time thank you to all of our patreon supporters around the world supporting us on patreon at patreon.com Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com money please uh where they get access to a whole bonus rpg campaign uh monthly streams we just recently did a stream where the four of us wandered around in the woods for an hour it was a blast uh we also play fiasco every other month a good five minutes of that stream was us struggling our way up a muddy slope so donate at the ten dollar level you can see you can see it all you can see it all donated to twenty dollar levels to help us get some real hiking shoes you can get art you can get merch you can get a whole bunch of fun shit so check that out and finally thank you to you all for listening we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spout more you

If you like Spout Lore and you want spelt more of it, go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore for exclusive bonus content, bonus games, exclusive merchandise, and more. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Thing is half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. Okay. After doing a little bit of fact-finding on whoever or whatever attacked the village slash outpost they found on the rocks, it was determined it may have been creatures called selkies, which seemed to be some sort of melding of human and sea mammal, maybe druids, maybe something else. Mm-hmm.

The horns in the fog sounded and the journey into the gray was made. They sailed through the day and evening, coming upon a… A drifting collection of dozens and dozens of empty boats drifting past. And it turned out to be a fleet, armada of lost souls. Ving was almost carried away before diving into the water to recover a rope and seeing beneath the waves hundreds of bodies, his mind breaking clear of whatever enchantment they'd placed on him.

While keeping watch one night, Tuck spotted an island. The group landed. Grouping on the… Beach as well. And then there was a little bit of group exploration as each group individually went around and looked for things. Ving finding a pool of water, a well, a spring that seems to connect to the spirit world. He completed his promise to the snake spirits that helped him see on the clear water. Well, we cut a deal.

Yeah, you cut a kind of deal imbuing them with some sort of aspect of the moon and giving them potentially a portal into the material realm at each… Full moon. We'll see if that has any ramifications on anybody at a later date. I can't imagine how it would.

Tuck found a stretch of beach that seemed reminiscent of the image slash vision that Billy had of Lillian's memories back in the Temple of the Moon and perhaps a worn carving of a little dinghy in a rock that he recarved, adding the symbols for Tuck, Billy and Ving in Runic next to them. It's the only thing I know in Runic. It's the first… First letters of each of your friends' names and your name. Yeah.

While foraging for food, Billy found a copse of trees covered in Runic carvings themselves in the old Druidic language. And from the top of the grove spotted some sort of stone beehive structure on the other side of the island. Upon investigating that, found a little worn, long abandoned living zone with a circlet made of twigs bearing the name Ileana in the Druidic language. Pretty fucking wild. Holy macaroni. And that is where we find our heroes now.

Billy, you're holding a circlet that contains the name Ileana. I put it on and I curtsy. I say, I look very beautiful. I should probably show my friends how good I look. And as you're curtsying and talking, it's slowly sliding down your head because it's too big for your tiny little head until it's around your neck. It's okay. It makes a nice necklace. It makes a nice necklace too. So you're heading back to find Ving and Tuck. Yep. Not too hard.

Tuck is just wandering around aimlessly, it would seem. And Ving is leaving a tumble of stones at the base of a rocky hill. Yeah. Looking a little thoughtful, introspective. It's easy to find Tuck because he's throwing rocks into the air and then slamming them into the ocean with a piece of driftwood. He's trying to get them as far as possible. And a couple people have gathered around to watch. Watch you do it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was like, wow. He's really smacking them.

This one goes to you, Short and McGuire or whatever. I slam it. Sploosh. Yeah. So yeah, Ving, Billy is rushing up to you. He's got something around his neck. Hey. Hi. Check out what I found. So I pull off the circlet and I hand it to Ving. It says. Ileana. Yeah. Oh my gosh. That's your mom's name, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think. I think it's an old Druid name. You don't think this was hers, do you? I don't know. Did she live here? I mean, she lived up north, I think.

She's from somewhere up here. Maybe it's a common name. This can't. Where'd you find it? I found it in a house. A house. Let's go to the house. Right. Billy leads Ving very easily to the stone hut on the other side. And then you hear Tuck running up behind you. Be like, get away, guys. I want to come too. And Perel is running behind Tuck even slower. I also. I also would like to be there. Oh, sure. I don't run fast, so you could probably catch up. And you all arrive at this hut.

It's quite small for the two of you. It was quite large for Billy. But it's a pretty small place. So this is the bookshelf here. I found some pretty cool nuggets of stuff. Nuggets? What do you mean? Like, look at them. Billy, those are mouse turds. Really? I definitely didn't eat any. I definitely did not eat them. I definitely did not eat them. I definitely did not eat them. I definitely did not eat them. I definitely did not eat them. Anyway, moving on.

Oh, Hentivirus doesn't exist here, I hope. Ving, you do see, actually, he is right. There are a couple kinds of nuggets on this. It looks like there's little dried bits of maybe, like, resin or sap of some kind. Different little, like, globby dried up oils. I'm going to spell lower about these globs of sap, these little resins. I got seven. Yeah, this looks to be some sort of old, um… Like, herbalist reagent. Hmm. You know, like a carrier oil, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Like, you put the herbs in this kind of, like, little sap and it helps bind them together for whatever, uh, unguent you're trying to make. Cool. Mm-hmm. Huh. It smells nice. It smells really nice. This comes from the, um, the old furs out there. Does it? Yeah. Is it poultices like these? And then I, uh, there's, like, some old cloth bags that are shoved back in behind a shelf. Oh, are there? Yeah, there are. Oh, fucking wicked. Oh, wow. Yeah, there are. Oh, great.

Anybody else want to reveal any loot that they find? There's more. What else is there? There's stuff under the, the old blankets and fabrics, like a book. Excellent. There's a book in there. A book. There's some cloth-wrapped, uh, bundles shoved behind something. There's a really old bottle of salad dressing in the fridge. 2009? Yeah. What the fuck? I've been using it this whole time. You've been using it since? Since 2009? How is it still in there? I don't eat salad a lot.

Um, yeah, you know what? I'm comfortable with there being some cloth-wrapped bundles and a book of sorts. What's the title of the book? Um, the title of the book is Meditations on a Valley in Bloom. Ooh. Hmm. Can I take that book? Yeah, absolutely. It's written in the, uh, the common language of the principalities. Cool. So, so it's newer? Uh, no, it's still, well, I mean, yeah, it's definitely not like, you know, 5,000 years old, uh, but maybe, you know, more in the two or 300.

Like, it's still an old book. It seems like it's poetry of some kind. Beautiful. I don't, I don't, I mean, yeah, I don't know what to think here. I want to sit and commune with the whispers of this face. Oh, yeah. Good call. Smart. Yeah. Um. Tuck, did you want to do something? No, not at all. Your thing is cooler. Hey, Tuck. There's also a really cool beach down here I wanted to show you. Oh, sick. Do you guys don't mind if I hang out here for a bit, huh? No.

I want to check out this beach, Billy. Perel's kind of got his hands on either side of the doorframe leaning into the hut while Ving, uh, settles into a meditation and looks for a couple seconds and goes, I'm going to go to the beach. Ving says without turning, thank you. So you've got a couple of minutes alone. So what's, uh. I'm going to read the book. Oh, you're just going to read the book? Yeah. I'm going to read the book. Yeah. I'm going to read the book. I'm going to read the book.

I'm going to read the book. With whispers. Okay. 2d6 plus wisdom. You put some of that like a resin underneath his nose, uh, and taking deep breaths and feeling this place. Nine. Nine. Okay. So you, uh, settle in and try and connect sort of, yeah, the circular imagery of a few of the things that you've seen since you've been here, the connection to the spirit world, the, the circlet. And, um, you first, you feel there's a lot of spiritual presence on this island.

Like, you know, there's a lot of spiritual presence on this island. Like if not direct presence, like the evidence of past presence, spirits have come here a lot for whatever reason, but you are given a clearer vision of a clearing in a forest far away. The trees look similar to the ones on this island. Uh, it's a dark night. The moon is high in the sky and there are people gathered. There seems to be, uh, a great deal of. Excitement, uh, anticipation for whatever's about to happen.

A young woman waits like in the center of the circle and an older woman. They're all wearing the same, like kind of long robe, like garments, like tux, like tux kimono. Yeah, exactly. Like tux kimono. It's so stylish. It weirdly flares at the hips for some reason. Somehow, despite the fact it doesn't reach the hips at all, it still flares at the hips. Are you pleading these? Um, yeah, they're all wearing similar garments of flowing.

Material, but they've all been ornamented in kind of individualized ways. They all have different sorts of, um, things on their brow. One is wearing a pair of antlers interwoven with like blackberry thorn, uh, or one has like a bark cap basically that contains a imagery reminiscent of an owl. Some people have, um, uh, coral woven into their long hair. Yeah. I like that a lot. Uh, and the, an older woman who is wearing a veil.

Basically made of like weeping willow branches approaches the young woman. And there's some words you can't make the words out, but you understand there's a ritual, a coming of age sort of thing happening. And the woman holds up a freshly woven circlet made of delicate branches bearing the name Ileana and places it on the brow of the young woman. Oh, there's a name day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Far off connection and you get glimpses of this circlet being passed to another and passed to another pass to another and so on and so forth and then you uh come to you realize that you the book has been closed you've placed it your feet and you have placed the circlet on your own brow oh that's sick down at the beach perel uh throws a rock up in the air swings a stick at it and whiffs so hard plops into the sand and goes no I can do it I can do it you just have to watch the rock I am watching the rock but if I'm not watching if I'm watching the rock how am I supposed to watch the stick just don't watch the stick how am I gonna know where the stick is if I'm not watching the stick you trust your body it's like oh my god he throws it up again whiffs again he just you you you see with your heart you hit it with your heart like this and billy has a tiny stick a tiny rock and he just smacks it right down doesn't even hit the water it just goes right in front of him just like that he goes okay I'll swing with my heart billy thanks a lot whiff I know it's hard being bad at sports I'm not bad it's whatever and then okay tuck comes up behind perot and he like touches him on the shoulder and he's like all right buddy I'll help you out with this close your eyes um close your eyes okay he closes his eyes and tuck comes up from behind time goes by and it's it's like when an asshole on a golf course is teaching a woman how to yeah but I've I've got my arms around him and I'm holding on to like the piece of driftwood that he's holding his feet are off the ground I was gonna say tuck is basically swimming perel as well and I I'm like it's it's like when you do magic man you're trusting your body to know where the wood has to go to connect with the rock uh-huh you're watching the target okay billy throw it uh throw it up and then tuck wheels back and then he lets go of perel's hands yeah and perel continues the swing crack whoa hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey I am 45, but I'm growing into my own as a man.

Oh, wow. You look rough. Thanks, Ving. If you're really old, you look bad. If you're really young, then you look terrible. I'm sorry. Life's been stressful for you. What did you learn? I have moved through my days with very little stress. What did you learn in the hut, Ving? I saw a naming ritual in which a young woman was given this name. Was it your mom? I don't think so, but I did feel a connection to them. There was a bunch of other people with strange…

I think they were druids or druidesque. Didn't you say back in the library when you learned about this that Ileana is like a family name? It's like a surname. Yeah. Right? It's not… Well, it's the, I guess, druidic equivalent of a surname, so it might not have… It might not have belonged to your mom, but it might have belonged to someone and people that you are related to. Mm-hmm. People belong to the names. And it helps guide their practices. That's cool. And what they do.

So this is like your family's house. Yeah, I guess so. And kind of like what my family did's house. So, what now? I wonder what Oleander's up to. Cut to. You guys find Oleander. Oleander and some crew members. He's like, Hey, I found a, like, I think a wreck of some kind. Oh, cool. So we're just kind of dredging, just kind of yanking up whatever we can find in there. Do you want help? Oh, yeah, that'd be great. You're super strong. Yeah, I'll help dredge. Sweet.

And it is laborious work, for sure. You know, people have dived down and, like, hooked stuff with ropes and you haul it all up. And it's just like some crates and barrels. Oh, yeah. I pull up a whole crate and barrel. That's awesome. There's so many soft blankets and wicker baskets in here. Do we want to roll and find out what it is? Yeah. Let me find. We'll do a treasure thing. Oh, a listener actually sent me a loot table.

Because they're like, Hey, I know you like loot tables, and I knew that you were struggling to find a cool one last time. So here's this one. Yeah, that would be sick. Sweet. Do you need me to roll to pull this shit up out of the bottom? Yeah. Give me a defy danger strength. You're going to pass. No problem. Nine. Yeah. There we go. Can I use my plus one forward to turn it into a 10? Yes, you can. Hell yeah. I forgot about that. So yeah, absolutely. Totally fucking wasted that.

But that means that you're going to get three rolls on this table instead of just two. Okay. Yeah. So there's like a bunch of like it's crates and barrels of various things. There's like some food in here that's ruined, you know, like some cloth. Dibs. Yeah. Dibs in the run. Food. Yeah. You can have it. Who says go nuts. But I want that barrel. And he points you. He points in your face. The barrel belongs to me. Deal. And basically sifting through a bunch of shit that you dig out of the silt.

One of the things that somebody finds and one of you snatches before they can get a good look at it is a single gold earring. Cool. Fashioned to represent a man being eaten by a crocodile. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. And then Tuck takes it and he looks at Ving and he goes to one knee and he goes, for you, my lord. What? I can't accept this. You're you. You got killed by a crocodile. Oh, my God. This is a very traumatic reminder of a horrible time in my life. I shall keep it with me always.

You should put it in your ear so you get reminded of it every day. You look in the mirror. And he keeps eye contact with Tuck. And then. Pierces his ear. Oh, jeez. Okay. I thought you had an ear piercing. I don't. Oh, God. That explains the wet feeling and pain. And everyone. Everyone's standing around us like all the pirates are just like, oh, God. Even short who you took the earring from is like, keep it. I don't even want that thing anymore. Oleander leans into Billy.

He goes, did Tuck just propose to Ving? What does that mean? I don't worry about it. Okay. Okay. And Billy, you're rifling around in this sundry crap. I like this earring, by the way. Yeah, it's cool, right? Yeah. And Billy, you find it's like a candlestick kind of like it looks like a mostly burned down nub of a candlestick. Oh. But for some reason, you, Billy, are like, ooh, ooh. Like it looks like trash to anybody else. But the wax has like weird kind of cloudy stiration.

And it that are like glittery. Almost. It looks like there's some sort of almost crystalline material mixed in with the wax. Can I wipe the wax off of it? Oh, no, it's part of it. The wax is mixed with this material. So it's like wax and crystal and like melted stub with a little burned wick sticking out of it. Billy puts it in his mouth. Of course. Sean jokes, of course. And we as soon as we seem like pick it up and start. We're like, ah, it's too late. It's in his mouth. Yeah. I taste it.

Tastes like wax. But you do as you're about to spit it out going. No, this tastes like all the other candles I've eaten before. You get that little tingly licking a battery feeling on your tongue. Ooh. I put it in the pouch. Do you want it? No, no, no, no. I was going to hand you some matches. Maybe that's not a great idea. That's a great idea. Perel goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Just one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a strike anywhere.

Let's be cautious here. I strike the match. No, Billy. Billy. Billy. I bring the candle and the match together. Don't do it. And light. God, fuck. Okay. Let me think about what's going to happen. Make a Billy high five. High five. Billy is laughing this maniacally at Perel. Oh. I think. Oh, okay. So you know what happens is. Uh, Perel goes, no, no, no, no. And you light it. And then he, he furrows his brow. And then he drops his hands. He goes, oh, what'd you think it was?

They're called like, what did they call them? It's like a, like an ion candle. It was like a, um, they were like focusing materials for magicians. It like helped, um, focus and, uh, helped you manipulate a thalamic energy. What did you think was going to happen? Well, I thought I was used to, I've used, I used them a couple of times when I was, um, a ma a wizard. Uh, and I thought, you know, Oh, dangerous Billy, maybe Billy's magic or my magic will go crazy.

But then I remembered, uh, of course I don't feel anything. Oh, uh, I, I pinch out the flame. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay. It's good. It's a good thing to hold on to. These are valuable. They're rare. I doubt any, nobody makes them anymore. Hmm. So hold onto that. Okay. Thank you. Thank you for confirming for me, Billy, what it is. I put it in the pouch. I feel very ashamed. No, if Billy, if I, if you didn't like that, just joking. Sorry.

No, this is, you guys have given me, uh, in the last like four days, a bunch of objects and information that I thought were lost forever. So this is still pretty exciting for me. Okay. I'll see if I can find another one. Yeah. Dig around. See what you can find. Get back in there, Billy. Start digging around. I'm gonna. Wait a second. If this, if this ship had someone on it that was burning ion candles, that means there might've been a wizard traveling on this boat.

There might be more wizard shit in this. And then we all jump in. Fighting each other to get in there. And I think our like feverish exuberance. Yeah. Our exuberance as we jump into this trash pile, like triggers a lot of the other pirates to jump into it. Oh yeah. There's something in the trash. No, no. It's. It's so much bad stuff that we're trying to get it to keep you safe. He's lying to us. I would definitely lie. He's trying to keep that trash from us. There's something good in the trash.

Our son is just jumping on a grenade of later to do work for you. Get your son out of my trash. Get your finger out of my face. It's my trash. I got it first. Billy's got his knife out. He's swiping at people. Okay. So Ving, you find, you find something in this scramble. While everyone's yelling, I duck between Tuck's legs and head into the muck. This was fucking weird. You find a sealed glass vial with wax still on the cap. Wax.

And it appears to be completely empty, but you see a small label affixed to the side and the words, a child's nightmare. Whoa. Oh my gosh. I put it next to my adorable little doll that I found a while ago. Cute. This, uh, loot table whips ass. Yeah. I love this. Okay. Then I will say, uh, this is called the Omni loot table. It's on a Tumblr account called tabletop trinkets by JJ. And it was sent to me, uh, by your wrist. Uh, but yeah, thank you so much for that loot table. It fucking kicks ass.

I'm going to use this every time. Now it's wicked. It's cool. It tucked in, get anything. I guess you found the earring and then you gave it to Ving. It's fine. Nobody's getting it. You're not giving me any gifts. I guess. Oh my God. Everybody fucking hates tuck. Well, we haven't rolled for the second one, so maybe I'll find you a gift. I don't know. Tuck starts jabbing the trash with his ax. Moodily. Oh no. Bullshit. You found all the stuff up here.

If you want anything else, you're going to have to go beneath. Yeah. Tuck moodily jumps into the ocean and starts swimming down. And before it goes, he goes, well, if you guys aren't going to give me any gifts, I'll go find gifts for myself. I'm an orphan. It's probably my birthday today. Okay. Splash. Billy goes, okay. Whatever. He, uh, he found that earring. He actually took that earring from someone else and then gave it to Ving. And now he's complaining that he didn't get anything.

I missed you guys so much. He gets like that sometimes. And then Billy jumps in the water. I'm swimming to the bottom. Can I just turn me on? He's just trying. Yeah, totally. Who is, who is, I guess is Ving leading the- Oh, you jumped in and you jumped in. Yeah, we all jumped in. I'm the last one jumping in. Give me a defy danger constitution. All of you. I got 12. Oh my God. I got nine. I also got nine. Holy shit. Uh, okay. Billy, no problem. You are a doggy paddling beneath the waves.

No, no problem at all. You're just kind of floating around everybody propelling your little body. I'm just trying to get you to go. I'm trying to get you to go. I'm trying to get you to go. I'm trying to get you to go. I'm trying to get you to go. I'm trying to get you to go. I'm trying to get you to go. Oh, you got a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad.

Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad.

To see because you are holding your breath but you're not going to hold your breath forever billy seems to just be motorboating around no problem like a little submersible but you see something glitter a bit of the gray light of day flashes off something kind of mostly submerged in the sand I grab it your hand brushes away the silt at the bottom and you uh retrieve a probably uh seven inch long shard of what looks to be a mirror oh shit cool I swim over to tuck with my last breath and hold out the mirror to him and then tuck takes it and clasps ving's hand and gives him a meaningful look and ving says I do too and I just imagine while you two are hanging there in the water looking meaningfully into each other's eyes billy just swims between the two of you and you're like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry and you're going it's like a heart trail of bubbles like a little looney tunes cupid yeah great yeah so you find a mirror shard in this wreck cool wow oh my god tuck are you looking for anything yeah I'm gonna look to discern realities 2d6 plus wisdom oh baby holy shit three what go ahead and mark one of those down um ving!

You know starts kicking back up to the surface and you swim further down your unbelievable constitution allowing you to hold your breath for an incredible amount of time um fatim used to give you uh he used to put your head in toilets a lot when you were younger so you got used to holding your breath so good holding my breath and in my mind I was like don't swallow any piss don't swallow any piss right now uh and as you're swimming around this wreck it's getting hard you can't really find anything super interesting it looks like you dredged up most of the water out of the useful stuff uh and then a shadow passes in the water just out of you oh just in the murk gone does tuck see it yeah but you don't see what it is it just flits in and out of you okay there it is again oh my god okay I start swimming really hard because I know about the selkies and the bullshit yeah defy danger strength okay what the fuck is going on that's five five what I totally fail I failed this fucking strength roll somehow um yeah you underwater though maybe you're like you swallow a bunch of water oh my god I just drink piss uh you start swimming up the surface kicking and paddling with all your might and I think the fact that I'm holding the mirror shard is slowing me down totally because you're not you don't have like a flat hand to paddle with and you feel jaws lock around your heel and you look down and there is like a harbor seal just like ripping your foot back and forth jesus fuck roll a d8 eight oh my god yeah it just like oh my god it just ravages your leg like just whips back and forth blood starts to cloud in the water that's so funny that is really funny that's great and then it lets go and it looks you right in the eye and then it dives back into the water and swims away what the fuck and it's gone you're like oh my god I'm so tired I'm so tired I'm so tired I'm so into the merc what billy you're totally peacefully swimming around this wreck I'm swimming around in the wreck underwater and I want to find something all right can I yeah 2d6 plus wisdom for discerned realities whoa 12 unbelievable so you get three questions off the list okay what here is useful or valuable to me so you are just like digging around in the silt like pushing sand and rubble away and uh you find what looks to be a little like um maybe the size of a walnut a wooden and metal dull metal that doesn't really glint kind of matte a shape that has a bunch of different sides it's like a ball but it's got a bunch of different sides and in each side is carved like a little rune and it's just sitting there in the sand it looks like a kind of like fun little toy all right pocket it yeah what here is not what it appears to be this ship uh you're you're looking at like the construction basically the pieces of the actual you're trying to reconstruct the ship in your mind basically as you're looking at all the pieces on the seafloor and um you're like oh well okay maybe they found that mirror piece it looks like maybe this is like a mccollan ship of some kind but the construction is off but it reminds you of some of the more specific alleys and neighborhoods that you saw in wickport like ving found those coins that have like the circles like the circular coins with the holes in them and the symbols written on them this looks like similar to construction techniques that you saw in that uh in those neighborhoods cool what is about to happen you hear a bunch of uh struggling above you sounds of like some sort of fight and you look up and there is a seal latched onto tuck's foot uh ripping it back and forth and there's blood clouding the water around him and you're like oh my god what is this this is a it looks like an animal that's getting back up oh oh shit um I swim up as fast as I can with tuck yeah you catch up with tuck no problem and you two break the surface they're selkies they're selkies in the water come on let's get out of here everybody out of the water yeah people rush back up onto the sand they're useless on land have you ever been to the zoo where ollie runs up where are they where'd you what'd you see there was like a giant harbor seal that fucked me up so bad and tuck is like limping his leg is bleeding thing is putting a portis on his leg while he's telling him yeah go ahead and roll what is it d6 to see how much it heals four does it heal four yeah okay um I start with four and then I'm gonna go with four and then I'm gonna start wrapping some of the fabric around me around tuck's ankle sweet thank you you're welcome no the blood flow is staunch sufficiently people are uh rushing back to the boats that you say that you rode over on and ollie's like no no they're in the water we can't get back to the boat it's not safe what do we know about selkies yeah 2d6 plus intelligence uh nine nine shit ten eight eight eight eight dd6 plus bond seven okay that makes it a ten heck yeah interesting and useful thing you know that if they primarily take the forms of seals and other sea mammals that it would be harder for them to fight on land and mostly that they will be way less maneuverable you know that like seals and sea lions can fight up close for sure on land but um if they need to move around a lot like chase you up the hill or chase you like to the center of the island though they might have to take human form which will give you a more even playing field I want to take all the driftwood and just push it up closer to the shores just make a barrier on the shore uh give me a defy danger strength uh eleven oh my god your strength is so much higher than I thought oh my god nine okay I I help yeah dd6 plus bond billy's also carrying sticks fuck four shit I'm not strong enough um um um um um um um um um um um Billy spends this whole time trying to drag one stick across the beach.

Yeah, and it floats away in the water. No! And Billy, being near the water while Ving is securing this barrier means that you're the first one to see eyes and slick gray heads poke up above the sea as they approach the beach. How many? You see three. Guys, they're here. Boom! They burst out of the surf. Fuck! They're varying size, some more reasonable size for sea mammals and then others huge. So they're not all leopard seals? No, they seem to have a variation.

There's a leopard seal, the harbor seal, the attack tuck, you can tell, and an elephant seal that has the huge drooping nose. Yeah, he's like two tons. Gross! Can I defend? Yeah, absolutely you can defend. I would love if someone used defend. What's defend? Oh my god. When you stand in defense of a person, item, or location under attack, roll plus constitution on a 10 plus, hold three. On a seven to nine, hold one. You may redirect an attack from the thing you defend to yourself.

Have the attack's effect or damage cut in half. Open up the attacker to an ally, giving that ally plus one forward against the attacker. Sick. Deal damage to the attacker equal to your level. Pretty fucking rad. Yeah. That's so cool. So Billy's preparing to defend the barricade, basically? Yeah. Yeah. Two to six plus constitution. Eight. Okay, so you get one hold. I want to deal damage to the attacker equal to my level. Great, yeah. Which one are you attacking? The big one, the elephant seal.

Okay, so what do you do? You just throw a bunch of stuff at him? I use one of the driftwood pieces, and it's kind of sharp, and I use it like a harpoon. Oh, nice. Sick. Yeah. Yeah, and it punches into the thick, blubbery hide of the elephant seal and stays there. Whoa. And it just goes like, and they start doing that flop. Yeah, I run. Yeah. Oh, no. Does that end your defend move? Yeah. Yeah, they're thundering towards the barricade now. Ving's like, I know. They have to do this.

Like, Tuck is like scrambling up the cliff that kind of like goes more onto land, and he's going to use what are you waiting for to try and draw them out of the water. Nice. Wow. Yeah. Whoa. Okay, yeah. So that's 14. Whoa. So what happens on a 10 plus with what are you waiting for? They treat you as the most obvious threat to be dealt with and ignore your companions, take plus two damage ongoing against them. Wow. Wow. Yes. I picture you putting like, I like sticks in your mouth. Oh, look at me.

Yeah. So what do you, what do you say to these things to get them to attack you? I do that. I put, I do, I do walrus face. Oh my God. It's not okay. And Tuck is like, turns to Ving and he's like, please don't judge me for this. What happens in battle stays in battle. And then he starts sprinting inland and doing walrus face. And then he's like, he picks up a bunch of bulk help as he's running up and he's like, look at me. I've got a dick for a nose. And then he makes it have an erection.

Is that a dick on my nose or I'm just happy to see you. And you know that you're just kind of putting a hat on a hat because the three seals are already chasing you. They burnt like they knock over a couple people as they run right past them and start chasing you up the hill. Uh, but they're having a hard time, uh, getting up the hill as fast as you, because they are not quadrupeds. They don't have legs. Not right now. Uh, and legs win again, my friends.

It's at this moment that you realize maybe you were being a little aggressive as four more seals come out of the water and go right past your companions chasing you up the hill as well. So there's seven. So they're going, so they're targeting tuck. That's what this move does. Yeah. Oh, tuck went come and get me. And now they're coming to get them, but they're all opened up to attack from the back from you guys. Yeah. I'm going to fall. Roll fight with honor. Yeah, do it. Nine, nine. Okay, great.

Uh, so you get what to hold? I get to hold. Cool. So I want to, um, cross the distance between your foe and bypassing all obstacles. Yeah. Great. So are you trying to stop one in particular or go after the big guy again? Okay, cool. I've got my harpoon. I'm going to send a flying. Yeah. How do you cross the distance to him with the harpoon flow throw? Right. Does that, and it yanks you. Oh, you're like, Oh, that's pretty fun. Swing. Ha ha. Like a throw. Yeah. His hammer. Yeah. Sick.

Your harpoon sails through the air with you drifting behind it like a ribbon in the wind. He's like, Billy, watch this. I didn't know that I would work. I thought I didn't think it would work. Now you're up close with them. So roll a roll, a hack and slash. Uh, plus what constitution? Uh, hack and slash is strength. Oh yeah. Uh, nine. Yeah. Roll your damage. Three. Cool. Uh, then roll. You're going to hate this. D 12. Holy God. One. Thank Christ.

So you stab your harpoon through the fin of, uh, the, one of the back fins of this elephant seal. Uh, what's the thing you used to yell on people when you step on the back of their shoe and grade school bullies used to do? Flat tire. Flat tire. Yeah. Yeah. That's what he yells. And it, uh, just whips around and tries to clobber you with. It's like, you know, how they just kind of, they rise up and they come down with their heads. Yeah. Shaking your bones a little bit and doing one damage.

Uh, and that deals with one of the seals that was chasing tuck. Now it's primarily concerned with you. Uh, Billy, there is a horde of sea mammals chasing tuck up a hill and Vingis started fighting the biggest one. What do you do? Um, I haven't rolled fairy child for today. Yeah. You could roll it now. Yeah. Okay. 10. So that means if I get, I get a 10, I get five hold. Holy shit. Yeah. Excellent. Um, I want to create a convincing illusion. Nice.

Um, so I want to create like another tuck to confuse the, the elephant seals. Smart. That's cool. Great. So is it like tuck is running one way and then your illusion runs the other way? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. They, um, tuck follows the other time. Wait, you look cool. Yeah. We high five. Like the other one, also does the dick nose thing. And then we high five and go two different ways. And it does. It splits them off. Three of them chase the one that you create and three of them chase tuck.

So now it's only dealing with three of them. Thanks Billy. No problem. Tuck. Uh, illusory version of you sprints off into the trees with, uh, three seals hot on his heels. And I, I stare at my ass for like a little bit too long as it's going. I'm like wicked. Yeah. And I want to use war cry. When you enter the battle with a show of force role plus charisma on a 10 plus, you take two of the options and a seven to nine, you take one. Okay. So what's your show of force here?

Um, as I'm running through the forest, I take Terry, Larry and Chad and I, I kind of just like start swiping them through trees as hard as I can. And they don't cut wood like with their spirit ability. So I'm just like trying to smash trees down behind me as a show of force, but also to slow them down. Great. Two D six plus, uh, whatever war cry is. All right, little bros. Don't fail me. Nine. Can I aid from a distance? Ooh.

Oh, you can aid from a distance because you got the illusory tuck doing stuff too. Yeah. Um, because I'm so in tune with like everything on the Island, I can actually feel that tuck is like calling on TLC to help him out. Oh, nice. Yeah. Buddies, you help my friend. Oh God, it didn't work. Six. Oh no, I'm too far away. Oh, well, I was running after the wrong tuck. Uh, so yeah, Billy, you run up and you're trying to help, uh, tuck in the illusory TLC, scare off these seals.

Uh, and you realize, yeah, this is not the right one as he like runs. He kind of clips through a tree, like his arm passes through. And one of the sea lions stops and goes like, Oh, sniffs at the air and turns around and looks right at you and bellows and starts flopping towards you. Uh, but you still got a seven to nine. So seven to nine on war cry. Sorry. This is just the funniest fight to watch. It's really funny. A chicken nugget running away.

It's a chicken nugget running away from a bag of milk. So on a seven to nine on war cry, you get one or the other. Yeah. So either your allies are rallied and take plus one forward or your enemies feel fear and act accordingly. Okay. Uh, so the trees start to come down. Like one falls directly on one of the seals. Yeah. And it runs off. Like it tries to get into the, it goes back down to the beach. Basically it flops down this crest into the water, just rolls down the hill like a hot dog. Yeah.

Just trying to get away. David Attenborough, especially when they're falling off that cliff. Yeah. Uh, and the other two, one gets clipped a little bit and one, one totally is missed by the trees, but they're charging after you, but it looks like they're a little bit less in control than they were a moment ago. And I, I turn around and I like, as soon as I see there's just one, I start charging this. There's two. I start. Oh, oh, he was doing the wink blink thing.

The one in front is bigger and the one behind is smaller and you start changing charging and the other one comes around and talks like fuck. Uh, so he throws the ax, it one, and then he jumps to punch the other one. Okay. Hack and slash. Cool. I got 13. I think so. Okay. Plus strength. Yeah. So roll your damage. And I take plus two ongoing damage. You do. Uh, that's a nine. So I do 11 damage. Let me just look at something. And the ax slices through the neck of one of them and the head falls off.

Oh, dabs the other one. It looks like a ham inside. And a cartoon, uh, tramp comes out with like the bindle and the hat with the top coming off of it. And it goes, someone's eating good tonight. Porky pig comes out. It goes, that's all folks. Yeah. Okay. So you're, you are going to kill one and seriously wound the other. I don't want to kill that. And you can totally just knock one out and mostly knock the other one out. Okay. So describe it. Oh, it's just what I said.

I throw the ax at one and it kind of like slices through it. And then the other one, I like, I do the, I think it's the Iron Man or the Thor. There's been so many Avenger references that I've made. Yeah. The jump up. And then like with the weight of my body falling down, I just punch as hard as I can. Just the like, boom, you see the ripple of muscle and fat through his whole body as you just slam its head into the ground. Yeah. Um, and it's like loud. It's like a tree falling. Oh man. Yeah.

And the other one, um, hits the ground and, uh, is like bleeding from this huge wound. And then it starts to, um, change. Its body starts to shift. Uh, Ving, you're fighting this gigantic elephant seal. Uh, yeah. It's pissed off. You talk to it. It is not talking right now. It's just yelling. It's roaring. Basically. You are being very rude. I would like to appeal somehow force the Druid. I want to force him to change.

Do I have the, you have ghost root and I got this spirit water and I put the, I take some ghost root really quick and I shave it. I grind it into like on the rocks. I may have a modern pestle and I'm just like, yes, you wait. And then I put in the thing and I'm like shaking like cocktails. Like you're going to get it now. Like Tom Cruise. Yeah. I'm cocked. I spin it up over my head and catch it behind my back. And I'm like, Coughlin's law, you're going to get your butt handed to you.

And then grab some seaweed. I just like, I don't know. I take some of my hair, put it in there. I squeeze out. I sneeze into the bottle and keep shaking up. And I'm like, I hope this does something. And then I, um, try and force it into his mouth. First, you're going to roll a defy danger dexterity to be able to do this without getting clobbered by this enormous elephant seal. Oh man, this is fucking, fucking great. I am really good at holy foraging on the go. This is my constitution.

Uh, this is dexterity. Yeah. I got a 13. Yeah. It's, it's like a, it's like watching a Jackie Chan fight scene. Like you're, you dodge a blow, grab a thing, duck under another blow as you shake it up. Yeah. I do a backward bend and I'm like, Oh, a mortar. Being so fast because he was bartending that party that we had at our going away party. Yeah. And similarly to that party, we cut away and like a lot of the pirates are watching and being like, Oh my God.

And like even Maggie and Oleander are like, wow, he is a specimen. Uh, yeah. So now roll a defy danger wisdom to see if this will work. Oh, nope. Five, five. Okay. So I, I crushed it up in my hand. I'm like, good night, sweet Prince. And I, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, blow it into his face. Okay.

So I think what does happen is you blow it in the elephant seals space and it like reels back. And all of a sudden there is a massive man standing in front of you. Uh, he's probably almost as tall as tuck probably weighs in excess of like 350 pounds. Like he's muscle, but he's got like a huge gut. Like he's really just a massive dude, big scraggly beard, big, like wet, dark hair. He's covered in tattoos. He's shirtless, leather pants on, but no shirt.

And he had a huge dick for a nose, regular human nose. That's his tail. He's got a walrus. He's got a walrus sticking balls on his face. What he does have is two eyes that look to be made of dark gray sea stone. Whoa. Like no pupils. Yep. Just stone. What? And he, he, he rips the harpoon out of his own human foot, throws it to the ground and goes, you dare and grabs you by the throat and just backhands you back down the beach. Holy shit. And then he is a elephant seal.

Again, roll a D 12 to roll and hit the ground and come back up on your feet. Like you skid backwards on your feet. Yeah. As you hit the beach, uh, Billy. Yeah. You, you've got a seal. One of the smaller ones is basically chasing you through the woods going like Billy is so stressed out cause he's already been running way too much. Yeah. Um, yeah. So Billy is going to run up a tree as if running from a bear. I don't know. Seals probably can't climb a tree. That's what Billy thinks.

Just it's flipper grabs a low bridge. Okay. Defy danger dexterity to get up this tree. Okay. Nine. Yeah. Okay. The seven to nine, you like get up the tree, you start grabbing branches. You climb so fast. You know this about yourself and in no time you're out of reach of the seal and it looks up at you and goes like, Oh, like barks at you. And then there is a rangy, skinny, pale young man at the bottom of the tree. It's just like, get down here. And he starts trying to climb up the tree. Oh no.

Why don't we just talk like as friends or equals? My name is fat Billy. What's your name? And he's just climbing. Whoa, slow down. I keep climbing up. So you try to, are you trying to charm him? Is this like a role or yeah, we're going to try to charm him magically or with just like fairy child. Okay. Then you can just spend your hold and charm an individual. Yeah. So I ask again, what's, what's your name? Why are you so angry at me? Uh, um, uh, what's my name? Help me out here. Jimbo. Jimbo.

Jimbo. I like Jimbo. My name's Jimbo and you have trespassed in the gray. Everybody's got to pay if they trespass in the gray, in the gray. Why can't we just drift through? Like we're, we're not going to be hanging out here very long. No drifting through is still considered trespass. Stone eyes orders. And he's stone eyes. Don't I? He's the, he's the king of the cell keys. Why don't you just ask stone eyes? Hey, stone eye. Why don't you ask one stone? I know he's got two, but they're one.

He's got so confusing. I know. I, we, it's been, it's been brought up. Just mentioned that we're pretty cool. Like we're just floating around looking for stuff and, uh, you know, just trying to do what we can. I'm just trying to do what I can. I'm just trying to do what I can. I'm just trying to do what I can. I'm just trying to do what I can. I'm just trying to do what I can. You know, just trying to do our best. I feel so stressed out.

All, all trespassers that come to the gray have, have designs upon things. What are, what, what designs do you have? You don't simply drift through. We're just trying to get to the frozen north. You passed through our territory though. You have to, if you're coming from McCall. No, there is a way around. Okay. Well, we didn't have time to go all the way around. So we're going to go to the north. So I'm so sorry. You could just put up a toll booth or something next time.

He like hooks his knees on a branch and like hangs his butt down a little bit to like sit like he hooks his feet under a different branch and he just crosses his arms over his chest. He's like a really skinny kid too. He's just got like a little bony chest. How old? I'd say like 2021. Okay. But really like whip lean. It looks like he's definitely relied on his seal form a lot for physicality. It's just like, ah, you're too high up now. Anyways, I can't get you.

So you come down here and I'll, you'll pay for your trespass. I'm not going to come down to pay for anything. Why not? Why not? Because we didn't do anything. We just came through here and you didn't even ask nicely. I think if you all asked nicely first, we could have paid you for. Wait, pay us. What do you mean? Well, you said to pay for trespass. What do you mean? Oh, I know I meant like, like pay with your life. Well, what tribute? That's an interesting prospect. Tribute.

Have you never considered maybe a, something in between living and death? No, not really. Um, what do you offer? I have, but Billy's like, could I save us all? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Oh, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, awkwardly tries not to fall I drop it into his hand almost drops it and holds it and as he's looking at the compass billy that has been broken this whole time you see the needle start to spin in his hands whoa what oh he doesn't oh he hasn't done that before it's nice all right I forgive your trespass small one okay so you will let us all go free no no no no I forgive your trespass stay up here and you will be spared what from the gray from the gray and he puts it in like a pouch in his pants and he keeps he starts awkwardly trying to climb down well hold on I also awkwardly climb down that's not how this works you know ignoring the one instruction he gave and we will cut back to tuck as cutting away as billy goes well hold on starts climbing down after him tuck tuck tuck you've got this one seal under your arms still struggling yeah I just do like a headlock around it and I start like punching him in the face over and over and over again okay hack and slash 13 13 roll your damage six yeah you plus two ongoing so that's eight oh god just hammer this seal into unconsciousness and every time I punch I go you should not bite my ankle again please on ankle it turned into like a bob a person no actually interestingly now that you've like knocked it unconscious uh it stays a seal oh but the person that you wounded uh has become a um a short stocky woman with like long black hair oh and she's just sitting there like holding her shoulder that's bleeding and she's just like and then tuck uh tuck looks at her and is like uh is uh is the fight over or are we talking now she looks at you and you're kind of like if she's laying if there's trees uh like this path that you're on and then like cliff into the water you're kind of to her left next to the seal that you just knocked into unconsciousness and she's like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry she looks at you and she gets up and she bolts for the edge oh she's gonna try and jump I chase to catch her okay uh defy danger dexterity oh snake eye okay uh she she races for the edge she jumps off head first and in midair becomes uh a sea lion and into the water and gone and tuck belly flops into the bay you can hear it everywhere around the island it's so loud it's a whip crack things like oh all the all the selkies and all of the sailors go ah it cuts back to those ghost ships and everyone's just like ah with their zombie face ving you come up in your anime backslide pose after getting knocked down the beach by stone eye and uh his elephant seal form is charging you what do you do I'm gonna grab a couple stones and then try and uh jump up double-fisted uppercut while he's over top of me cool hack and slash 2d6 plus strength I got 12 sick great roll your damage six oh nice holy shit this is a very tough individual yeah but you crack them like in his skull with these rocks and rocks on rocks rocks on rocks and you can hear the like resounding crack as you smoke him with these rocks and he goes up and boom like lands on his side and something underneath all this rage he's maybe a little scared oh cool billy yeah jimbo is trying to get back down to the beach he becomes a seal and he's going come back jimbo come back he stops and turns to you in his seal form jimbo is trying to get back down to the beach he becomes a seal and he's going oh hello well I can't talk to you like this and he turns back into jimbo and he's he's sitting cross-legged on the ground what do you want I already forgave your trespass yeah mine but I want you and the rest of your friends leave all my friends alone do you have more to offer I I I do have much to offer um I don't want to I have I pull out like that weird toy that I found under the ship it was it had like a bunch of runes yeah it's like a 131 sided die basically oh cool it was a it was a 20 sided polyhedron okay cool um I I I kind of wipe it down to make it a bit shiny and I I hold it up and like I have this he snatches it now hmm it is a treasure that I found long ago he holds it up to his eye and it is very rare and I've never seen one like that and it breaks my heart it crushes my soul to give it away but it's worth it to save my friends hmm I accept and I shall forgive your second trespass against me and allow you to join me in appealing to stone eyes better judgment oh yes I can do that if your friends can offer a significant tribute perhaps stone I can be compelled to be merciful for now okay and it's as jimbo's putting the polyhedron in his pocket he likes to do that like smiles pretty big like he's getting a good payday and you see his tail which is a mouthful of seal fangs whoa he's got seal canines creepy whoa dude sorry what I'm not there what I don't get to choose it uh and yeah you come down the beach and you see um sailors fighting the selkies that were chasing the illusory tuck and ving fighting a massive elephant seal tuck swimming back to shore he's a tuck actually climbed up and he's dragging the one that he knocked out back to the beach okay yeah so everybody kind of converges on the beach the selkies are trying to get back into the water the sailors are chasing them are being pushed towards the shore stone eyes stone eyes are uh rolling in his head and his huge elephant seal nose is like flaring as he takes in huge gusts of breath and a rangy young man comes down the beach with billy hot on his heels and goes stone eye stone eye and holds up his hands and tries to like get in between you and him I think hits the ground like uh gets to one knee stone ice and he because he's heard of the king and he gets down like to pay tribute and he like basically like hit me if you want to and his elephant seal form rises up very regally as you bow in front of him and jimbo goes they the small one this one he offered me and he holds up the two things the compass and the polyhedron he offered me the tribute they may have things to honor your great might if you might be merciful this could be an opportunity for you to increase your holdings in the and the holdings of uh all of hibernia wait what and uh stone eye turns back into this massive guy and he crosses his arms over his huge barrel chest goes is this true do you offer tribute yeah do we ever yeah and tucks stuffing the knocked out selkie behind a pile of driftwood yeah totally who amongst you is the leader and ollie ender uh steps forward he's like I guess that's me he gets pushed from behind everybody steps back he's still standing there oh fuck uh I don't want to do the back and forth between them but he's basically like hey stone eye nice to meet you heard a lot captain oleander dreyfus and he just goes I I would be happy to work out some kind of arrangement uh if that means that we could pass through your territories unobstructed ving holds up his spear with aliena written into it and he says this is the family name that once walked upon these lands please let us pass in the name of the land that the name is the family name of the land that once walked upon these lands please let us pass in the name of the land that once walked upon these lands please let us pass in the name of the is carved upon my spear in which the name of the land doth walk here once really really fell apart at the end I thought that was pretty good actually it was very moving speech I'm surprisingly out of breath this is an interesting tack being like I represent a family line of hibernia um okay roll um to fight danger charisma oh no fort four so you hold up the spear with the name iliana and stone eye is carved upon my spear in which the name of the land doth walk here once really really fell apart at the end I thought that was pretty good actually I'm surprisingly out of breath this is an interesting tack being like I represent a family line of hibernia looks you and even though he is shorter than you his prodigious girth makes him seem just like a giant among men and he looks at the name iliana and his brow furrows and he spits on the ground he says if you hold the name iliana you owe more than tribute you owe blood and that's where we're gonna end it for this week oh fuck let's do one more episode before I go to the fairy yeah I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz so long playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers take care playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie bye everyone thank you to aaron reed the incomparable aaron reed for our intro and outro music and all of the original music on the show uh written by abdulaziz composed and arranged by aaron reed except for terry not which was written by you right yes I keep forgetting in between which was read by jessica true absolutely I wrote a limbic didn't make it in yet a limbic you did read the act the acts I read I read one I loved yeah right yeah we got a short story the acts uh read by Paul Oppers on there too um yeah check out the soundcloud there's a lot of cool stuff on there we don't pump it up enough I don't think yeah um you can support us as all of our other supporters beautiful supporters do at patreon.com Spout Lore or speltlord.com money please where you get a ton of bonus content hours of audio art merch special world building micro writing like whatever we think up and love we throw on there for all of you beautiful people uh so check that out you can find us online at Spout Lore most places we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spelt you

Spout Lore is made possible by contributions from our listeners if you would like to support us go to patreon.com Spout Lore where you can get extra bonus special content gather round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tuck is the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight fingers half healthy shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might billy's a thief his tiny size does max the largest heart best and brightest they may not be but their friendship outweighs their smarts so gather around friends and listen you for the tales about to start hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz hello everybody playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers hello there and playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie hello when last we left our heroes they had begun exploration of an island in the misty foggy expanses of the gray the island initially seemed to just be just a regular old pile of rocks and grass but soon became very very important to the world of Spout Lore uh our friends went ashore with the crew of the sunrunner uh tuck wandering the beach finding a carving in a rock uh reminiscent of carvings long long ago and a distant chiming in the fog mm-hmm a Now that they are connected to the moon in some way, mostly just puts them in old Pringles cans and surprises.

Do you want a Pringle? Uh, Billy wandered and found a cops of trees revealed to be a Druid Grove containing just a variety of information recorded by some Druid long ago. Uh, and a stone beehive hut containing various detritus of living in life and also a circlet made of woven sticks bearing the name Ileana.

Billy brought the circlet back to Ving, whom communed with the spirits of the hut, uh, and was awarded a vision of a Druid naming ceremony of sorts, uh, where the circlet was bestowed upon a young Druid woman and then saw the generations of Druids who received that circlet. The crew then found a, uh, shipwreck beneath the waves on the shore of the island. And everybody dove down and had kind of a little, uh, super Mario 64 water level swim around. Billy.

Uh, the main thing I remember is everybody was kind of having trouble with it. And Billy was paddling around a little submarine having like a great time. Little tiny bubbles. Oh, little, little bubbles, little fart bubbles. Uh, and then while swimming back to the surface, Tuck was attacked by a harbor seal. Yep. And moments later, the Selkies arrived. Yeah. Uh, led by an enormous elephant seal who revealed himself to be king of the Selkies. Stone. I pretty cool.

Uh, Billy was chased into a tree by the smallest and rangiest of the Selkies. Yeah. Named Jimbo, who couldn't quite get far enough up to chase Billy and decided to, uh, extort Billy into offering tribute. Uh, uh, and then said that you could offer tribute to stone. I, on top of the tribute that you offered him, Billy ran down with Jimbo to try and stop the fight between Ving and stone. I, which was getting pretty brutal. You offered your name as Ileana as negotiations started to fall.

And he said, if you bear the name Ileana, you own more than tribute. You owe blood. And that is where we find our heroes. Now. I mean, how much blood are we talking a little bit? Drop a pint of court. I could fill a mason jar for you. Now that you've broken the accord, your punishment will not be determined by me, but by the council. Accord. What accord? Ileana's were never to step foot in these waters again. If I had my way, you would die where you stand. We must go to the council.

Where's the council? Hibernia. Oh, shit. Seize them. The Selkies all step forward in their human forms to grab you. All tech just pushes one of them to the ground. That's easy. Probably a smaller person. I push Jimbo to the ground. Billy does what like cats do when they don't want to get picked up. So he like lies down and crunches his arms and legs. Don't pick me up. Turns into a puddle of really hard to pick up. And the Selkie that's trying to pick you up is having a hard time.

Are you resisting? Are you going to try to talk to them? No, I'm not resisting. I just don't want to be handled. Get your hands off us. We will go freely. Yeah. I already wanted to go to Hibernia. Did you not hear how excited I was? Farewell. You. And he points at Ollie and he goes, uh, yeah. Hey, I'm not an Ileana. I don't think that I'm involved in this. You must bring them. Oh, uh, okay. All right. Uh, I got like a rate though. Is it like a daily?

And he just turns into an elephant seal and gets in the water. Oh, he starts pulling the boat. Maybe they all pull the boat. Uh, they all like the Selkie start, uh, getting into their animal forms and getting into the water. And it is disgusting. It's a lot more like, you know how Vings form changing was like instantaneous. Basically. Theirs is a lot more like werewolf. Like, like you can watch them morph into seals. We can hear like, bones, crick and screech.

It's like when gas is moving around a stomach and squishing and farting. So yeah. Yeah. And, uh, yeah, they're like, so a few of them stay on the shore and heard everybody back onto the boat and texts like, why is it so gross when they do it? Ving? Why is it so gross when they do it? I don't know. Hey, stone eyes. Why are you so gross when you change long gone? No, one's going to answer this question. But what's up with the changing? It's disgusting. Roll a spell or okay. Two D six.

Plus, uh, this has to do with history. So I get my wisdom. It does have to do with history. Nice. I got 11, fuck 11. Um, so really should he use that for what the fuck is going on with your family? Why is it so gross? Why do you make so many fart noises? What a fucking waste of a spell. Or, uh, no, it's, it's, it's kind of an interesting thing.

Uh, something that your mom taught you, um, when she was, when you were learning how to harness your, uh, spiritual energies is she talked about how some druids issue the more spiritual, uh, magic like aspects of druidic practice and are all about physicality combat, like being like becoming the beast. This clay is more about like we are animals, we are killers. Uh, so they are more connected to the physical form as opposed to the spiritual aspect. So they're, yeah.

So their bodies undergo a physical change. Whoa. They're like meld with the spirit of the animals that they shift into. Right. Yeah. And you know, and you would know that, um, when it comes to, uh, actual combat, they're all physical. Uh, like they don't have any, basically no magical ability. Okay. Yeah. Interesting. So that's something that you could use potentially. Is that why they don't have tails? Uh, they do have tails. Stone has stone eyes. Oh, okay. They do.

Jimbo has what Jimbo has, uh, Jack, to something that all of the Selkie share. Uh, I meant to point this out last time. I completely forgot, but they all have what looks like, um, seal skin cloaks. Oh, cool. Like they have like capes that look like they're made of seal skin. Cool. Uh, that is part of the skins that they like inhabit. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. So they all is everybody just like, okay, I guess we're going to hibernate.

Yeah, we shall go to, there's no, we're kind of going, um, yeah, maybe we'll get close to hibernate, but I don't know if we'll go there. Do we know, what do we know about hibernate so far? Almost nothing. I think we know that like the knowledge tree comes from there. Oh yeah. Um, you know that it's the origin of, of Druid Druidism and potentially of magic in general and of the fairies. Like the fairies migrated from hibernate right to the, the principality.

This was like the first place they crossed over into. Cool. Yeah. I think that's, I think that's the first place that everybody is just like gathered onto the boat. Maggie, Caroline, Perel, they're all like, Oh man, I don't know about this. Actually, Maggie's like, Hey, should we, uh, maybe make a break for it? Are you kidding? I get to see hibernate. You want to go to this place? Heck yeah, I do. It's like nice and cold. And I learned all this stuff in the library with Perel about it.

It sounds like they're going to kill V. No. When has V ever died? I don't know. I think like twice. Oh, we always get him back. I can hear you. How many more deaths do you think you have in you big guy? I don't know. Seven. Uh, and Perel's like, yeah, I am. Uh, I gotta say, I'm thinking we should run too. I just want that on the record. I know we're not going to because you're all, um, out of your minds, but Hey, we think with our words, not with our thoughts. Okay, let's get there.

Talk to these guys. I'm not going to. I'm not going to. I'm not going to. I'm not going to. Talk to these guys. Wait, hold on. Do what we do and talk ourselves into weird situations where we will probably find out a lot of things about what we're trying to know. Okay. Yeah. I just want to say that that didn't make any. And then as he's talking, one of the Selkies pushes them onto the boat and then jumps into the water, turning into a seal halfway and tuck, like climbs into the boat too.

He's like, Perel, like, it could be like a key to getting your magic back. Well, I did at one point want to go to hi Bernie. Yeah. Until we figured out that Adder, neck, all waters tower was in the north. And then I wanted to go there. Yeah. But isn't hi Bernie, like closer to the north than where we are right now. Yeah. Yeah. But also hi Bernie was kind of like a plan B. I feel like it's time for plan B. We haven't even tried to do plan a though. We are trying. We're like going with the flow.

Yeah. And this is like, it starts jolting ahead because there's like a pack of Selkies kind of pushing it forward. Sometimes you just got like, just got go with things. Last time I tried to just go with the flow. I ended up locked in a box for a hundred years. And now look at us. Look at us. Bloodthirsty. Selkies pushing your sailboat into an impenetrable wall of fog. A wide shot of like, just making barking sounds. Yeah. Just making barking noise. It's like a road trip or a cruise.

They put a sign on being this as blood debt. Just like a sign on the back, like a just married side, but it says like blood debt and there's cans dragging behind the boat. Slowly going into this wall of fog. I use my bill. No oculars to see your head. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The gray is very hard to see through, but you might be able to learn something. A two D six plus wisdom for discern realities. 10. Oh shit. Okay. So you get three questions off to certain realities.

And we'll say that this is kind of you keeping an eye out during the whole like journey. Yeah. Who's really in control here. So there, you know, you're, you're heading on through the gray for a couple hours. Pretty hard to see on all sides, but you're like, you can feel your bill. No, not killers trying to focus through the fog and making that low. Like your hands are growing and shrinking in size. But at one point you hear like a, like a spray of water from somewhere in the fog.

So the whale, you see a shape. Yeah. Like a back break, the waves and dive under. You hear the captain's voice come on. He's like, there's a pot of orca whales off the starboard. I actually, I black and white. I think it is a, it is an orca for sure. Like you see like the fin cut over the water and dive under and you see, it looks like stone. I go under the water as well. Oh my God. That's his girlfriend. Oh my God. Are they fucking for sure.

And then eventually stone, I breaks the water again and the boat continues and the whale swims off. They're not having intimate adult time. That's what I tell Bing and I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Oh, and I tell Bing and and talk talks. Like fuck. This sucks. What Billy uses. Besides thinking, are these animals having intimate adult time under the waves.

You think, Oh, there must be other druids in the water. Hmm. Okay. So like stone. I is in control, but there are people that he's checking in with as they're as they're sailing. Oh, Oh, what, what here is useful or valuable to me. You notice that kind of peeking through the fog.

Once in a while, islands and they're getting the further you get them longer you go this is another couple hours of travel the islands are getting closer and denser so you think that if you did have to try and get away on the sunrunner you might be able to use these islands as a way to like potentially lose people okay although it's probably really hard to lose the selkies in the water you might have a better chance what here is not what it appears to be what would this be yeah what do you think uh it's it's maybe like that not all the different kinds of like harbor seal and whale are getting along in the water oh like they're not a monolith yeah there's a lot of um you can hear like you know animal fighting sounds and if you look over the edge every once in a while there are seals that are like scrapping with each other and so they're all like oh oh oh some of it's like play fighting but you can look you can see in the eyes of some of them that they're trying to do harm I can also tell that there's like like from the sounds too it sounds like there's discussions happening under the water so I bet there's disagreements oh on like what's happening right now like oh yeah maybe stuff like we should have killed them like we should have killed them when we found them we shouldn't be bringing them back we're getting a blame for whatever happens yeah I like it I like that a lot yeah cool and tuck is trying to get a pirate to bet with him who's which one of the seals are going to win and he's going to have to is going to win a fight.

He's watching two go at it. He's like, which one of these do you think is going to win? I don't know. That other one's got a lot of bites taken out of him. I feel like that one's lost a lot. I'm going to put 10 gold coin on Jimbo. On Jimbo? I'll take that action. Okay. And Ollie goes, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Ving just hands tuck one of his $10 bags of coins. There you go. Guys, please. I'll also take that action. Please. Let me put down on the bag.

And then there's like an impromptu betting circle of seal fights. And okay. So some more time passes. It's probably been. Do I win? I thought this was a story thing. Okay. I thought it would resolve later, but yeah, I can resolve right now. All right. Just a flat 2D6. Okay. Okay. Here we go. 12. 12. Whoa. Rich. We are wasting rolls. Yeah. You have big, fat rolls. I'm not. So.

So Jimbo, now that you're seeing it was Billy remembers him being kind of goofy and uncoordinated, but it seems like he's a fucking scrap in the water. Yeah. He moves like lightning in the water and he takes down this big like walrus that he was fighting. Basically, he gets it to back off and he had to go back into his like human form and ride the boat with God. Dear fucking Jimbo. He's got like a big bite in his bicep. He's like fucking hell. Everybody have a towel.

Just a huge dude with a big mustache. It sounds like Zoe. Very good. He's got his tell. Unfortunately for him is tusks. It's a walrus's head. Yeah. Yeah. So you win 30 coins. Oh, fuck. Yes. Wow. Nice. And the journey you believe starts to come to an end as the boat starts to slow down a little bit. Uh, describe for me the island of Hibernia. We'll start with Abdul. Oh, it looks like you. Have you ever seen like one of those islands that all the elephant seals go to to mate? It's like that.

That's what we said. We were talking about that. The whole way. Wait, like just a rock. It's yeah. It like we come through the fog and there's end to end elephant seals. They're not just seals. I don't know. So there's horses. There's horses in this fuck pile. There's hippos. There's so Hibernia is a place that people live. Keep that in mind. Okay. So it's the central island. It has to be one of the islands coming up to the big island. That's what we see.

We see the fuck island on our way to the big island. And that's my contribution to this thing. Excellent. So we pass a rock that's covered in elephant seals and sea lions and they're just like some of them are having sex. Some of them are not. And there are some people on the island too. Because they're all shit shifters. This is having a ball. Yeah. Paul, there's a huge long title zone and there's people out there harvesting seaweeds. Oh, sweet. That's so cool.

And then, yeah, there's certain people who are like in half animal form, like going out and getting the ones that are out in the water more totally. And as the boat is like passing this title zone, people are looking up from their work and watching the boat and the Selkies go by. Jessica, there's a lot of like rounded structures, sort of like, like domes. And you can tell that those are dwellings. And at the top is like a little, little bits of smoke coming out. Oh, cool.

So maybe people live there, maybe they're smoke houses. Yeah. But they're all made of like stone. Yeah. Awesome. Cool. That's really cool. Um, kind of like the beehive hut. Kinda. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Beautiful. Cool. Uh, perfect. Yeah. So they come to, uh, what can I add a different thing? Yeah. Then fuck rock. Are we getting rid of fuck rock? No, no, no. Jessica was so concerned. Hold on. I had a whole theory that was based on fuck rock or I'm leaving fuck rock or I walk. Fuck walk.

Um, as we're going in, we, the approach is going down, like sort of narrower and narrower. Like passages, like estuary arms, kind of. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. And like, we can see these like villages that Jessica described all on the sides, but like, there are like really tall rock cliffs and like, we don't notice it at first cause it's really big, but there's enormous runes, like ancient runic language in like carved into the rock from like ancient days. Interesting.

Like, which I don't know what that does, but maybe nothing. Some of it's probably too fancy. Faded to read anymore. Like you can see the evidence of this writing, but not necessarily what it says. And Tuck's like, is that ruins? Yeah. Holy shit. What does it say? Do you know what it says? I can't read it from here. Hang in there. Little drawing underneath of a cat or something. If you were looking for fuck rock, you've gone too far. It's just a big arrow that says fuck rock and points back.

There are also a lot of really tall evergreen trees. And what, and like these other leafy trees that must be knowledge trees cause they're enormous up on like the, you know, on the land. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Sick. Cool. And there's like, yeah, there's a lot of, is there snow? There's a lot of snow around. It's very snowy. Yeah. And there's around the trees of knowledge. It's like melted around the base. There's no snow that touches the base.

Can I, can you guys help me remember, uh, trees of knowledge? Are they, I thought they were very rare, but are they like, are they like, fairly, are they smaller and common or are they big? And like, there's one or two. They're rare, but on Hibernia, there's more of them. Okay. And like also in the great forest, like in the north, you'll find a few more of them, but they're still very rare. Like they don't have like hundreds of these trees, but you can just, the ones that they do have.

They're native to this island. Yeah, they're native to this island. Right. And the, and they don't ever cut them down. So a lot of them are very thick and old and tall. So it's like the rest of the forest canopy. And then there's like one huge, huge tree. You see a few big ones. There's a few small ones too. And I like that there is buildings built into the structures of the dead ones. Yeah. Oh, totally.

There's like big, like some of them, you can see like the big roots, like coming down over the cliff. Like it's just these huge nets of roots basically. And there's like little shrines set up along them. Oh yeah. And there's little runes and everything and candles. Looks like some people have built like little hanging dwellings, like in the roots, like on the cliff. But it's like, you know, one or two people, not like a whole house. Yeah.

So would we say like, there's like a dozen that we can see now? Oh, that's a lot. Yeah. Hibernia has got a lot. That makes sense. Cause I think we said they were indigenous to here. Yeah. Can I, can I say something else? Yeah. Guys, add whatever you want. If you've got ideas, the, like the roots that come off on the cliffs of the knowledge tree, the little structures in them are actually like meditation rooms. Oh yeah. Cool. Cool. Cool. There's a high yoga studio in one of them too. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yoga studio in one of them too. Bikram's hot yoga. Oh, when we talked about, so that's probably where a lot of, not a lot of course, but like SAP gathers in the roots. So people go in the roots to like, maybe they like burn a little bit of the SAP. Like they try and like, like use it as incense, like inhale the smoke from the SAP. Yeah. Yeah. Could be that like, um, they use it to help mediate the change.

Like they just take a, they, they take a thing of SAP and they put it under their tongue. That's always sucking on it. Um, Oh, physics pitches, right? Or it was, it's just like a combination of different SAPs. Yeah. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Sick. Okay. So the boat comes to a stop basically at the end of a huge, like fjord, like the fjord. No, this is, this is regular for, this is a refractory fjord where everybody comes to rest. That's what the old walrus guy tells us.

It's called cigarette fjord. This is the one you come to after you come smoking a fat cigar. Yeah. So it's like the end of this cliff Canyon, uh, ends at like a small, small rocky beach at the very end. There's water trickling down from upper land coming into the oceans. A little estuary. And all the selkies, come ashore. They, they beach the boat, which all these knots, like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's so icy and sharp.

You can't do it on gravel. So many barnacles. I'm going to have to look at this. Yeah, and all the Selkies come ashore, start turning back into their human forms. Obviously, expectantly looking at everyone on the boat. And Billy comes walking down the plank like a tourist. Snap. Snap. He's got his backpack on, his fanny pack on really tight. And his hood, like everything's neat and tidy. He's just like, golly me, am I excited to see the sights here? Where'd you get that I heart Hibernia shirt?

I made it. Oh, it's so cool. Thank you. The heart is in the shape of fuck rock. I went to fuck rock and all I got was this t-shirt. But Billy can't read it. He has no idea what the shirt says. Actually, Billy, here's something to think about. I think that you've been feeling this as you've been getting closer to this island. But Billy's coming… He's coming very close to the original transit point of the fairies. Yeah. How is this affecting him?

Is there like still energy that pours through from that place? Yeah. He feels very euphoric actually. Oh, cool. Yeah. I think that's actually why he's like being so… He just doesn't care about like the threat of Stonai. He's just so elated to be home. Cool. And he feels a sense of belonging that he hasn't felt ever. You know, like he feels… He knows he belongs with Tuck and Vang and he knows they're his family, but it's a different thing to know that this is like his homeland. Yeah.

It's like laying down in your bed after you've been away for a long time and you're just like, oh, fuck yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Is he undergoing any of those like fairy changes that he has in the past, like the flowers? No. Interesting. Yeah. I don't know. He doesn't need to. Yeah. That's really… That's fascinating. Yeah. And you all get herded off the boat. It looks like the crew… Including Oleander is being, at least right now, like confined to the boat. They're not being allowed to leave.

Oh. Yeah. Are you guys going to be okay? Oh, yeah. We got like food and stuff. Are you guys going to be okay? Tuck's like, yeah, I'm fine. I'm going to try and fight Stone Eyes later, but I think I'm okay. What? Maggie's like, what'd you say? I said, I'm going to try and fight. And he leans in. He's like, I have a plan. Vang, if you… Because these guys are like animals, basically, right? Mm-hmm. So like, if he tries to keep…

If he tries to kill you, I'm going to challenge him to a fight for his honor or whatever. And then if I win, I get you. Yeah. And then if he wins, he gets to kill me. Yeah. Okay. So then he'll kill me and kill you. Yes. Okay. And then Billy is back in Hibernia, which is where he belongs. So it's best case scenario for us dying. Oh, I mean, I like it here, but I am not up for any of that. So if you lose against Stone Eyes and he kills you and Vang, I guess I have to fight Stone Eye now because…

Because I have to avenge your death. Exactly. You come find us in the spirit world. I will. I don't go to the spirit world if I die, but yeah, find Vang in the spirit world. And also Vang, you don't go to the spirit world when you die either. That was a huge mistake. I'm pretty sure I'd go back. We'll figure it out, Tuck. Don't worry. Also, I'm pretty sure I can beat Stone Eye. Yeah, you can beat him. And then we look over and he's dragging Oleander's enormous ship up onto the shore. By himself.

Yeah. Huge. I really like, I feel like I'm not able to accurately describe how large this guy is. Like his arms are fucking huge. His chest, his gut. Like he's just a massive, massive guy. Is he like the, that really, like the biggest bodybuilder ever? Oh, like Haptor Bjornsson or whatever? Yeah. Yeah, he's like that. But bigger. But fatter for sure. Fantasy version. Yeah, like he looks like a guy who eats, drinks, whatever he wants, as much as he wants and then is also massively strong.

And Tuck looks at him and he's like, my white whale. He is very pale too. That fat elephant seal is my white whale. And you start getting led up the three of you. Why would, maybe they would just want to take Ving actually. Why would they want to take the two of you? Because I refuse to let Ving go. Okay. Yeah, I don't go anywhere without these guys. Yes. If you kill one of us, you have to kill us all. Damn, I'm shit.

And Stoneye crosses his arms and nods and goes, if they join you, they share your fate. We are of the same blood. He nods almost like, all right, interesting. Very well. And turns and starts walking up the hill. I like your tattoos. He walks away. I just, I was going to look back at Maggie and Perel like, two thumbs up. Yeah. We'll be okay. We're all dead. Even Corrine is like, two thumbs up like, okay. She looks really nervous. She's having a terrible time right now.

And yeah, you get led up the hill into the sort of evergreen forest at the top. It's so cold here. Tuck, you're fine. Billy is probably getting a little, little rosy. Rosy, but like, so happy. So happy. Yeah. He's like, rolling around in the snow. Don't eat the other snow, Billy. I won't. Every time you start rolling around, like a Selkie, like nudges you with their boot. It's like, go. I'm going. Chill. We're going. Let them enjoy the snow. And they push you. Don't push me. Don't push him.

I push the Selkie. They push you. Oh, push him. I push him. Yeah. They push you too. I get up, I push him. And one, it just, they turn into a sea lion and they just start going. And I turn into a fairy. I, I go. So Billy just turned into a flower boy. Does Billy turn like he sprouts with flowers? Yeah. Back at them. And actually a bunch of the Selkies go. Yeah. And step back. Back off. And Stoneye turns around and sees Billy. And just turns and keeps walking up the hill. Yeah.

I fucking thought so. Don't touch our boys. Language. Language. Sorry. And you come on to the top of the hill into this like snow, we evergreen forest and the trail leads you through the trees. As we're walking, tuck wants to sneak out the waning knife to see how much it's glowing. Hmm. You do in the little, like tiny pulling it. Yeah. Yeah. Lord of the ring style. Yeah. Like a fro, fro, hole. What did with the sting, Frodo bagman. Yeah.

Um, it's glowing a little bit, not as much as it was, uh, at port for frost. Okay. He pulls out the Magi knife and, and looks, pulls it out of the sheaf a little bit and looks at it. It's really upsetting to look at. Oh my gosh. Probably just a yellow chipped fang. Oh, we gotta do something cool with this someday that I feel like we never really talked about, but that fang real big. Um, is it a Selkie? I would say like forearm length, like a forearm length. Yeah. And like, and like curve. Yeah.

Yeah. Like a canine too. It's like a short sword almost. Yeah. Pretty much like a wicked sharp fucked up thing. Yeah. Like a cave bear tooth. So yeah, you guys peek at the knife. You guys peek at the knife. You peek at the, the tooth really stressful. Uh, and eventually you come out into a clearing where there are a number of, um, stone huts with smoke coming out of the roofs. There's people walking around.

Let's talk about what the people of Hibernia kind of look like in like terms of dress and the kinds of people that live here. Cause I know that we've said the world outside, people were able to travel very freely during the golden age because of like airships, teleportation, that kind of, that kind of stuff. But has Hibernia stayed like pretty isolated. Do we think I imagined that it was always isolated.

Like yeah, everything beyond the fog wall, even in the golden age was like, nobody goes there. Yeah. So what's Hibernian like dress like, cause it's really cold here. I mean, it would make sense to be furs. Yeah. Something that could survive the cold skins and whatnot. Yeah. Hides. Or if it was something cool fantasy and they were, they're all naked or like, what? So the cool fantasy, like they're all naked maybe.

Cause they're druids and they can like just change into, so they're actually dressed pretty light. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Not naked, but they were like, it's way lighter. Like what? Yeah, totally. A lot of, a lot of bare skin more than you would expect. So it would make sense that these people are acclimatized to this kind of weather because it's always cold. So they don't wear as much as we would think they needed to. Yeah.

And it also makes sense that they kind of use their sort of connection to the spirit world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Animal bits that people pack a scarf an alpaca scarf yeah like a dicky oh just like a yeah like covering their chest and neck yeah um like like deer spots oh cool oh yeah probably like antlers like somebody straight up has antlers yeah one guy's got hooves it's just like like waddling around like fuck it's so slippery for him and I think the kids don't have any tails interesting until they settle yeah cool maybe kids this is kind of like harry potter x-men rules maybe they're more apt to taking um multiple forms early on oh yeah like settle into one form cool materials yeah yeah yeah their little demon things shift around yeah I imagine there are a lot of kids running around too yeah oh yeah yeah this is like it's a very a village it's like full of life it's cold and it's dour but the village is very lively there are people like playing music uh people cooking food the clearing is very long I think and more narrow than you might expect but it all goes towards um what looks like a big central circle with like a big big big stone fire pit and there's like um a big crackling fire in the middle of town like that they have features that are uh ice carved I really like that they carve things out of ice like pillars out of ice and like things like these little ornaments around like they have very simple and stone and rough and old old structures but then they seasonally do that could be a part of a fest or something totally seasonal things that they do carvings and ornate things out of ice I bet they carve like icicles into shapes and they hang them from the trees oh yeah that's really cool yeah so that like you know when the light refracts it's just really pretty yeah yeah there's like tinkling in the trees there's like icicles kind of clanging together wind blowing and I think there's maybe more sun on hibernia than there is in the rest of the world I don't know the gray it's like brighter than the thing that we mentioned about the trees of knowledge how they don't have snow directly around them so there is like this this collected energy of all the trees in place of the trees of knowledge that create this different climate this like warming effect yeah so there is like shockingly you see they're like gardens with like things like growing in the middle like farming stuff because for some reason here it's it's like seasonably warm so the cold could be like a defense yeah cool very interesting yeah I mean they can't grow things like lemons but there's cabbages and stuff like that there's some food growing here but it's not like oh mango party I think there's one guy with a little lemon tree and he's very proud of it trying so hard to keep it alive all these mirrors around it yeah he's been suntanning his lemons and I think as you get towards like the fire there's a lot of like like whispering person to person people start running off down the down the clearing and you get to the fire and you hear a voice call out like stone eye and uh an older man probably like you know five eight five nine gray hair long gray hair skinny kind of muscular but like a old guy what's his tail his tail is what does he turn into maybe he turns into like an octopus oh interesting he's got like ring marks on his head like he's got like a ring mark on his head like he's got like a ring mark on his arms and legs suction cup things that's cool I like that yeah so he's got like uh like sucker marks all up and down his arms oh maybe there's like a clade of like cephalopods basically their whole thing is like traveling the oceans I love that but they're more spread out because their whole thing is like they travel they explore the oceans oh yeah they meet every once in a while and trade information knowledge teach each other cool and yeah he stops stone eye in front of the fire and is just like demanding what is the meaning of this who are these people and they have a whole back and forth about like uh trespassers this one bears the name iliana we must convene the council and uh he looks back at you three we're just giving them thumbs ups and then he looks at ving as if to say oh it's obviously that one he slowly puts the tiara back on it is I named the fire of my family lineage iliana was my mother's name iliana is my middle name please call me ving ving is my name danger is my middle name danger is my maiden name he's done it this many times this whole circle the whole like the whole circle in this village is silent listening to you do this are you are you finished are you have you even begun he looks at stone eye and says um this is troubling I will gather the council at once we'll meet at twilight and uh rushes off stone eye turns to uh the selkies and says make sure they don't go anywhere and stalks off and you all start getting a push towards one of the stone huts what do we say about pushing we're going they push you we're going stop it oh god this is I push him back they try they try and push you back and then you come back and then you come back and then you come you but you're so low down yeah like come here you can't get me can't get me fast just get in the fucking hut whoa and one of them puts a hand on that guy's shoulder and goes tevin just calm down man it's a little kid it's a little boy you're letting them get to you but you're getting in your head tevin I'm just a little boy and I flip him off he just goes and he turns around and walks away but you get here you're like slow farting sound as he turns into a seal to hide his tears and you all get kind of led into this uh this stone hut pretty bare there's like benches and chairs there's uh coverings on the windows and doors like skins basically hanging in the windows and you get pushed in and you're like oh my god I'm so tired I'm so tired I'm so tired two selkies take a post on the other side of the door outside and you are left to your devices I'd like to discern realities in this hut oh smart seven perfect all right you got one question what's uh useful in here yeah so you hear um them talking like oh I can't wait to figure out what's going on here because yes iliana's disgusting about time these blasphemers were punished for their transgressions and they start talking about the council they mention this council you know what I mean like I don't know what I'm talking about but I don't know what I'm talking about but I'm talking about the council you know what I'm talking about but I'm talking about comprised of the leaders of different clades clades being groups of druids that take similar forms and have similar philosophical understandings like the selkies cool so there are other clades that are a part of this council so there would be a representative of the cephalopod yeah so he he represents like um maybe they're called like the deep striders or something like that like that's that that's what that clade is called um there's one that's like like the green seers and they're like um all elks and deer oh cool woods you know like that kind of nice yeah so that's what you hear is them talking about the different clades and the different leaders and theorizing about what their decision is going to be what was that old guy uh he was a he was the leader of the deep uh yeah hey what's that old guy's name out there shut up you shut up you shut up shut you should you're stop talking you're a prisoner you're our prisoner we're keeping watch over you yeah we're keeping watch over you and tuck's like we're here because we want to be oh yeah and tuck leans back and he's like yeah it's pretty comfortable in here must suck to have to stand out there like a couple of dildos oh it's not so bad because if we want to leave we can leave but you're stuck in here I'm pretty sure stone eyes told you to watch over us so you're stuck in here just like we are but without this chaise lounge no maybe I maybe I go say hey I want to go uh go take a dump you come watch over here and I can leave no problem maybe we can take a shit in here if we want to and then tuck starts to shit hey hey hey you'll probably have to be the ones who clean it up do you have to clean this up hey I'm sorry what the they're taking a shit in here hey what's your name and things peeing on the wall spelling the guy's name doesn't matter because soon but by the time the moon rises you're gonna be dead and you too he points at tuck and tucks like I'm pretty bunged up because I've been I've had mostly salt fish and they all they both just turn around and they look they they close the flap and they don't look anymore and then tucks like tuck tugs on one of their like sleeves and he's like do either of you don't touch me I don't even have a sleeve you're tugging on my elbow skin it's pretty loose back here fuck off I lost a lot of weight recently probably wipe your ass with that okay just don't talk to them anymore but they're being disrespectful to the room it doesn't matter soon soon they'll all be dead but by what by the by way of listening to them talk about the different clades you do learn that at least the leader of the deep striders name is grim shay grim shay cool can I try something yeah um billy's not loving the smell of tuck shit understandably I tried to dig a little hole and then I realized it was mostly permafrost and I couldn't get in there oh no oh no once it freezes the smell should dissipate yeah tuck's trying to get it to freeze faster by blowing on it oh it's just moving the smell around you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you um um um um um um totally okay so roll plus wisdom seven so on a seven to nine I believe you get one hold uh yeah I get one hold so I just plop down where I am I guess uh saunter out just walk past everybody yeah and the two selkies at the door go and they like look down but they don't see anything so they feel them yeah they feel something whoa I fart I try to I don't know if it's gonna reach spirit part spirit part the other guy's like are you gonna change right now are you seriously changing right now you're seriously changing right in front of me uh yeah so you head out in your fairy form and you're seeing like the um the shadowy fairy reflection of the village it's so clear here actually oh so it's like okay so this is something I've been so curious about what does the fairy realm actually look like is it like a bright vibrant place but when you're far away from these points you're you're only seeing the shadows through it or what's the deal there yeah um it can also like so you can be physically like if you're physically far away from kind of like your homeland or whatever but also like mentally like if you feel like for some reason like you can't you feel distant I don't know yeah from that part of yourself then then it's a shadow world cool because something I was thinking about is when billy first saw and this was the thing that I said so I don't know if it tracks with what you're thinking about but um we talked about the endless bows yeah like is the fairy realm a separate place like there are locations in the fairy realm or is it all like reflections of the material um it's all reflections of the material world but unlike the physical world none of the landscapes stop you from like traveling I so if there's water it doesn't like affect you like that um everything is like a separate place and so it's like a separate place and so it's like a separate place and so it's like a separate place and so it's like a separate place and so it's like a separate walkable it's like the spiritual projections but in the fairy world yeah gotcha so cool yeah sort of like the spirit world in some ways like where you can float around okay cool does that mean you can traverse long distances in the fairy realm like you could like use it to like go to a different continent basically as crow flies basically you could go wherever you want sweet the shadow roads yeah and I would describe the fairy world sort of like a an impressionist painting in a way like it's uh like the latent colors move a lot cool so when you say clear it's so clear here it's like you're seeing those colors and shapes moving sweet are there more fairies here too okay there's fairies here oh that's so cool I pictured like you know the projections shadows on the cave wall play style but now you're at the fire the source of light that is causing the projections you're seeing the thing that lights the shadows on the world so what kind of what kind of fairies do you see um there's a winter fairy whoa there's a few of them actually quite a few here not like like um like the winter like they're in their winter season oh yeah yeah so they're like our elders a lot of them are sort of in like a meditation state you're seeing the light of the world yeah so you're seeing the light of the world can I ask you to describe a winter fairy like I don't actually know what they look like I guess they're all different but they're all different what's sort of the unifying idea of them uh I guess sort of like if billy's a spring fairy you know young so he's like the buds and the blossoms they might be sort of like wood or like shedding like dead branches and ice and stuff like that bark yeah cool um moss maybe there's moss yeah there's old old licheny kind of cool yeah and they're fairies and they're all different but they're all different and they're features are are more angular I guess almost like carved and it's more just like the feeling of them they're slower and they feel more like stoic in a way cool kind of have the same vibe as old dwarves yeah so there yeah there are a few of those like scattered around the village like eyes closed yeah they are humanoid interesting how about how big big um probably anywhere from like like four and a half to six and a half feet tall oh what tiny for some reason I guess like spring fairies are small but like as fairies grow they get larger well like like things that grow I guess yeah also billy's small because he's tied to this boy's body yeah yeah it's not always an age thing necessarily and I think that's why billy's like I don't know I'm like nine or ten or eight yeah it doesn't matter to him it's all like um sort of like in what condition is your heart and your soul are you tired of um living or have have you been hurt too much then you're probably a winter fairy where you're like I'm done here and I'm happy to pass on interesting but there's also a sign of upcoming yeah uh rebirth though yeah too right yeah like the end of a cycle but the beginning of another cycle yeah like it's like it can seem sad but it's also like they're they're doing something that's not right and they're doing things like they're healing or they're replenishing and like learning lessons yeah it also makes sense for why billy forgets a lot of things yeah and also why he is eternally in his spring because like the boy that he right part of is like lively and like excited about being alive yeah I think billy subconsciously actually forgets on purpose because if he remembered it all he would grow up oh yeah in a way I like that a lot um there's fairies and I'm sorry I want you to describe all of these this am I taking too no this is the first time we've ever talked about the different seasons of fairy and I'm so curious we all want to know what this is yeah totally um so summer fairies yeah there's summer fairies and there's ones in their autumn season um the summer fairies are like really similar actually to the spring ones they're just in fuller bloom like the penusions of fairies yeah exactly very passionate very passionate a bit more knowledgeable are they like hot ladies there's all kinds well I think like if spring fairies are kind of like the childlike fairies I think these are like you know like people in their 20s basically yeah basically like that's the feeling you get like they know a lot so they don't spend as much time uh interacting with I guess the world as like say like a spring fairy does spring fairies though they're like really energetic they are slower and they take time like pondering stuff and playing with them and they're like oh my god summer fairies I guess you know they might be fighting or interacting with each other or the physical world they're usually actually like more often than not in the physical world because they want to explore that as well yeah on their walkabout yeah yeah and they often will like flit from host to host oh yeah they're passionate I like the idea that like a lot of the stories of people interacting with fairies like the dangerous capricious like seductive ones whatever have been people interacting with summer fairies.

Yeah, I think so. Spring fairies are usually like the prankster ones and the childlike ones. And autumn fairies are usually like guys who have worked an office job for 10 years and they're just so depressed. Autumn fairies are the ones that actually a lot of the people will make like little shrines to or they'll visit for advice. They're like the nerd fairies, librarian fairies.

Yeah, like, you know, in like Ireland, they'll go visit like a mound or something believing a fairy lives there and they'll leave offerings for it. Those kinds of fairies are the autumn fairies. Cool. Those are the mushroom fairies too, the autumn fairies. Oh, yeah. They do the rings. The rings, yeah. And is it because like, it's like when a summer fairy is like, I like this place, I'm going to chill out here for a while. Yeah, I'm going to chill out here for a while.

And then they actually get to like, start like interacting with other beings like on a deeper level. Cool. But they haven't yet become like cold and distant like the winter fair. Well, because if you think about it, like autumn fair interacting with people and like making deals and trying to help them and like are maybe shepherds of the land. Yeah. And like the more they interact with people, the more they take on like, they're betrayed. Like they, people break their promises. Yeah.

A lot of those things where it's like, maybe a human leaves an offering or like promises something and then breaks it. Like the fairy feels like betrayed by that. Yeah. A lot of the winter fairies, they might've fought like a lot of wars. So they've just like seen a lot and they're disappointed, I guess, in like the corruptness of the physical world compared to like the spirit or the fairy world. And that's when they ponder like, was any of this worth it?

Like maybe I was better off in the spirit world where everything had law and everyone was peaceful in a way, like behaved in this manner. And then once they kind of find that peace again, they're like, nope, this is kind of just the way. Then they, you know, might transition back into their spring phase. Really cool. That's really cool. So fucking cool.

That's also kind of cool because it implies that Billy was in his autumn phase when he went into the boy because he had rooted himself in Lone Tree Hill. Like it was his place. And people came to him too. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense that he was in his winter phase and during the winter war. Yeah, probably. Yeah, like he's been through the cycle a few times probably. Oh, fuck. Wow. And there being a bunch of winter fairies here implies a lot of like conflict over time.

Oh, I wonder if any of them recognize Billy. They probably will actually. A lot of fairies do recognize each other. That's sick. Yeah. Okay. So that is an excellent and exciting description of all the different fairy seasons. Thank you. So sick. Yeah, so cool. Thanks. So Billy is walking around the village. She sees fairies in all their different seasons. The winter one's not really paying you much heed. As they are deep in their introspection.

Maybe like you see a summer one that seems very interested in one of the druids. Like, ooh, like kind of flitting around like, oh, so beautiful. And an autumn one, maybe like a, that looks just like a pile of, a pile of dead leaves. Yeah. Just like. Billy is going to go jump into the pile of leaves. And you, you flutter. You flop into this pile of leaves that you might not have even realized was a fairy until just now. Oh, I knew it was a fairy. So you just go like, ah, whoa, oh, who are you?

I'm Billy. Remember me? Oh, and some of the leaves like up into like a eyebrows. Yeah. And they go, oh. Yeah. It's been a long time. You're going by Billy now. I am. I've been Billy for quite a long time. At least in human years. Yeah. I was going to say. At least nine or eight or 10 years. It's not as wonderful to see you, Billy. It's nice to see you too. Russell. Russell. Russell is a fucking great name for this thing. I knew I'd see you again.

I thought you were in a bush last time, but I wasn't quite sure. Those were my summer days. Yeah. Have you been here for a long time? Oh, yes. Yes-ish? Yeah. Okay. Long enough to hear about the Ileanas? Yes. Camel. Because I want to use this hold to get some info from Russell. Oh, then you can just use the hold. Like, this is all you'll get basically, and then you'll go back. Okay. Um, can you tell me why the Druids seem to have a problem with the Ileanas?

Because I've got my friends Tuck and Ving here, and Ving is descended from that family. And they, and the Druids, I don't know, they're talking about counsel, and they're meeting tonight to figure out what to do with us. Mm-hmm. Ileanas? That's not a name people say very lightly around here. I, I can tell. They are responsible for a lot of bloodshed. Bloodshed? Mm-hmm. From when? Oh, and you realize, you remember as you're saying this that fairies are not great at telling times?

Well, not when, but from what, I suppose? A war? A war? A war? Which war? There's been so many, Russell. There are so many wars, and there will be many, many more. I know. Is it one I fought in? Did we, is it the one we fought in together? No. Hmm. But similar participants, I suppose. The, um, and like a pile of leaves comes up and is trying to like gesture like a height. Uh-huh. Like, um. And he starts miming like, oh, I'm not going to fight you. I'm not going to fight you.

He's miming like, like a, an arrow being drawn, like twing. Oh. And were the Ileanas, did they bear those weapons too? Mm-mm. No? Mm-mm. Ileanas, they're from here, from the land. But they brought, for some reason, the ones with the flying shards to this place. Oh. And that's why they're angry. Mm. Many lives were lost. Is he talking about the elves? He's talking about rangers, yep. Oh, shit. So the Ileanas brought the rangers here, and that was the war. Mm-hmm.

It wasn't a war, it was a fight, right? Yeah. It was, it was not our war. None were like our war. No. But the conflict, blood, death, hate. That was in the physical world. Here, yes. Yeah, okay. I hope that you will not come to harm. But if you do, there is… He gestures around. I know, but I'm not ready to come home yet. Mm. It'd be too soon. Perhaps someday. Someday. And then cut to Tuck shitting, trying to shit.

I'm desperately, he's got the waning knife out, and he's desperately trying to dig a hole, and he's like, I don't know how it's smelling worse over time. Here, I'll… It is not freezing. And Bing is trying to pee onto the… No, no, no, no, no, no, no! To try and spot out. No! Splattering shit. Yeah, he's pissing on the shit. Disgusting. Billy can look back and see us in the hut, because he can't see the hut. Well… I'm not ready to go home. I… Sometimes I miss home, I guess.

Certainly smells better here. And he, uh… His leafy, dead leaf arm comes up and kind of like… Like holds your cheek for a moment. And he's like, so nice. Yeah. To see you, Billy. It's so nice to see you, Russell. I know I'll see you again. Billy. Russell. It's a nice name. Fitting. Thank you. I think so, too. He was a good boy. Seems one. I don't really want to go. It's really calm here. It's really smelly in that hut. My friends are being really stupid, I think. It is.

It is a privilege, Billy. To smell. It is. Here, beautiful. Sensation. Not many. There's not many. I remember my summer days. The tastes. The sounds. Mm-hmm. And you'll have them again, but… I know what's coming isn't… Mm. It's never what we enjoy. But it is what we have. It's what we have and it's what we have to do to get back to… Here. Mm. Where I am. Mm. I have to go back. Mm. Mm. Is there anything else you can tell me before I… Before I go?

Just that you have chosen interesting friends. Yeah. I don't want to forget them. So I have to go. Goodbye, Billy. And… And then… As if on like a zip cord. Yeah. Like you… Whoop. Back into the body. There's a huge fire. Whoa! Watch. Where's that? Put it up. Put it up. There's an actual fire? Yeah. We started a fire to get rid of the fucking shit. No, no, no. The bottom, not the top. What? Somebody runs in with like a bucket of water. It's one of the guards. Yeah.

One of the Selkies runs in with a bucket of water and splashes it on the fire. I knew you were going to have to clean up our shit. You know what? You know what? I don't even care what you did anymore. I hope they can… I hope they kill you. I hope they do. And I'm going to laugh when they do it. Can I hear your laugh, please? So I know it'll be you. He turns around and storms out. And then the guy… Tuck goes, wait. No, no, no. I'm genuinely sorry. Come back. He turns around a little bit.

And he does not come closer to you. I go, for real. No, I'm… We've acted in a really fucked up way. And this is your home. And honestly, we've been… This is a trick. No. No, no, no, no, no. It's not a trick. I promise. It's a trick. I promise. But it will be consequences. Can I roll to convince him it's not a trick? Yeah, you can. But he's telling you, if it's a trick, there will be consequences. Okay. It's not a trick. 36 plus charisma. Yeah, it's a 10. 11. 11.

And I go, I promise this isn't a trick. I am genuinely really sorry. Okay. And as a token of an apology to you, I have a gift for you. And Tuck opens his backpack and he reaches his hand in it and he pulls his middle finger out. And he walks forward. He's like, actually, I have two in here. And he reaches in with his other hand and he pulls his other. You can give one to your friend. And he slugs you right in the cheek. Just walks forward. Snap. What do I roll? Roll a D8. Oh. Two.

Two, which is your armor. Yeah. Worth it. And he stalks back out. And Billy comes to. Hey, you're back. I'm back. I got to see an old friend. I saw a lot of old friends. Really? Yeah. That's awesome. I don't remember them all, but I know that they're there. That's really great. Did they tell you anything? Yeah. Before I forget, I have to tell you. My friend, the Bush, he told me that long ago, a bunch of Billy mimes the arrows. Rangers? Rangers came here and there was a fight.

The Ileanas brought them. And that's. That's why the druids are mad. Oh, shit. Oh. And that's what they talk about with the bloodshed. I guess it wasn't a war, but it was just a fight here. Can I use bardic lore? For what? To see about this war? Either legends of guitar heroes past or histories. They would apply if we hadn't already established this is a very isolated culture. So these don't seem like stories that would spread. Okay. Unfortunately. Maybe a Spout Lore?

I'm telling you, there's no way that you would know. Okay. Yeah, unfortunately. But what if there's a war? There's no way we know. Such as. Such as. I guess. Theoretically, Ving might know something because the Rangers would bring back stories of it. That's what I was wondering. But I don't think Tuck would know. Okay. Ving, roll a Spout Lore. Tuck says. Nice. Plus wisdom? Yeah. 13. 13. Interesting and useful. I think that.

So there is a lullaby that Ving is remembering that I don't have the information for that is about a ranger. It's similar to that. That arrows flight. The like the ranger lullaby. The ranger king. Yeah. But it's about the ranger king and a woman falling in love and how it was this like really dangerous love because, you know, Romeo and Juliet shit. They shouldn't be together. So and it has elements of. Meeting a ranger. More like. Yeah. Taking part in some battle.

There were definitely conflicts before. Okay. That Ileana was probably a part of. It seems like Ileana had to then flee Hibernia. And that's why she was in the frozen north. Oh, shit. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long. Playing Ving, the half elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone.

Thank you, as always, to Aaron Reed for our incomparable intro and outro music. Thank you to River Q on the discord for the name Grimshay for the leader of the Deep Strider, Clade. And thank you to all of our Patreon supporters around the world. You can support us at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore dot com slash money, please. And get a bunch of bonus shit. Discord channels, monthly streams, gear, equipment, writing, art. A whole bonus campaign and a whack of other shit.

Or you can find us online at Spout Lore most places. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I gladly Spout Lore.

Spout Lore is only made possible through the contributions of listeners like you. If you would like to donate, please go to Spout Lore dot com slash money, please, or Patreon dot com slash Spout Lore. And if you go there, you'll get a bunch of bonus content, too, which is nice. It's good bonus content. I work really fucking hard on it. A druid and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Thing is half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest. They may not be. But their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello, everybody. Playing Fat Billy, the athlete thief. Jessica Tai. Hello, everybody. When last we left our heroes, they were parlaying with the Selkie king known as Stone Eye, who was explaining to them that the Ileana line owed blood.

And upon asking how much blood are we talking about, Stone Eye said, it is not for me to decide, but for the council. And you must come to Hypernia to stand before the council. We were like, yeah, okay, let's go. We were trying to go there anyways, bro. Hell yeah, we've been trying to get there for months. You know how expensive, it's so hard to get an Airbnb in Hypernia. You have a place for us? We've been wandering through the grave hoping we hit Hypernia.

And honestly, this is a real boon for us. Thank you so much, Stone Eye. I'll give you a one-star review on an Uber. An Uber. Then they were Ubered. Just because your Uber smelled like fish. Sounded like farts. They got Ubered to Hypernia by the Selkies who pushed along the Sunrunner, taking them to this mysterious, mysterious. Dusty, snowy island. Deep, deep in the gray. We arrived at Hypernia, finding a boreal, tree-covered, rocky island.

We were taken ashore up to the island village itself, where we found druids on druids on druids, shapeshifters everywhere, little kids running around. Some sort of warming or life-providing field given off by the knowledge trees, theoretically, allowing things to be… Livable and for food to grow, it seems at all times. Then you were put in a stone hut to await your judgment by the council, guarded over by two now extremely frustrated Selkies. Hell yeah.

Tuck tried to take a shit for a long time and then was able to take a shit. But he's all backed up because of the salt fish or whatever. Just dehydrated sea stuff. Yeah. God, it's coming out like wood chips. Call this move the wood chipper. Gross. Gross. Billy attempted to enter the ferry using Shadow Dance to get some information and found that Hypernia is fucking covered in fairies of all seasons. We learned a lot about the seasons of the fairies, which kicked ass.

And Billy talked to an autumn fairy named Russell, who was a pile of sleepy leaves. Yeah. And learned that the Ileana line is connected to some and blamed for a conflict of some kind. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories.

There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. As a direct result of this conflict. She was killed. And that is where we find our heroes now. In a stone hut. Twilight is beginning to approach.

Having realized that. You are about to stand judgment. For whatever conflict. Led to the death of Ving's mother. Dude your dad totally fucked us. We're hosed. Because your dad did some shit here. Classic. And almost. As if on cue. The door flap of the hut. Is thrown aside. And a druid of some kind. A hyperion of some fashion. Let's say a woman in her 20s. With braids. Braids and braids. And lots of tattoos. It's like it's time. And Tuck's like hey there. I shouldn't have said woman.

I shouldn't have said woman. This is great. Tuck's like oh hello. I don't believe we've met. Have we met before? Yeah. She looks around. Kind of. No. Like nose scrunched. At all of the shit. And fire. And burnt shit in here. And Tuck's like that's so weird. I feel like we've met. We must have. He's ignoring all this. Ving says that's my shit there. It's. And this is also my shit. It's our shit. Our shit. And we're like kicking it around. And putting up the fire. And our very muscular friend.

Tacoma. Had nothing to do with this. He was over there reading a book. I love books. Yeah. It was a book of poetry. That he wrote. Shit. Too far. Too far. Come with me. Okay. Yeah. Totally. And she turns around and starts walking away. I'd love to come with you. There's nothing I would love more than to come with you. I'll come with you. Like literally anywhere you want. Anywhere. Oh God. Please emphasize the word with. And not the word come. I'm emphasizing all of the words. I will.

She turns around. And starts walking away. Come. And you realize that as she's walking away. You realize that she has. Her legs are the back legs of a deer. And she starts striding up the clearing. Oh. So you're like one of the centaur people. I'm not. The centaur has. Their lower half is the entire body. Right. Of a horse. Okay. Or a camel. Or something. So you have a human butt. That's none of your business. Yeah. Where. Where. Where does the deer part start. And tuck like. Puts his.

His hand at her head. And he starts moving it down. It's like. Just say when. She keeps walking. And then it goes all the way. And it's like. Okay. You missed it. So let's start again. Let's start again at the top. And I'll move down. Just tell me when. When the human. Say when. She keeps walking. Okay. Well. And then I turn to these two. And I'm like. This might not be viable for me. I think. The thing says dibs. I just have to try a different approach. I think. Yeah.

And then tuck puts his hand at the. At the feet. And he's like. Okay. Tell me where the deer part stops. Okay. She's just not saying anything. Well. She looks so pissed off right now. Hey. Hey. Lady. What's your name? It's not so that my friend Tacoma. The. The handsome. Or Ving. The also handsome. Well. No. It's. It's just for my personal information. I'm. I'm fat. Billy. If you're curious. Our. Our. Last name isn't handsome. We're not married. My name is. Uh. My name is Savarna.

Nice to meet you. And I. I. Look at you guys. Like. Okay. Now you have the information you need. A beautiful name for a beautiful lady. She goes. And. Chuck's like. Do you ever. Drink? No. Okay. She's been walking this whole time too. She has not turned back to look at you at all. Okay. Can you slow down a bit? I. It's hard for me to keep up. I. My legs are so. So small. She ever so. Imperceptibly slows down. Please Savarna. Let's just take our time here. Really nice trees you have.

You only prolong your judgment. I see you haven't prolonged your judgment. What do you think of us? I think that you are to stand judgment before the council. Why? For. The. Blood. Debt. Against the Ileanas. These are all things you're aware of. I mean. I have an idea based on a song. If you think you'll weasel some detail out of me. You're wrong. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. What if we roll to weasel a detail? Yeah. Sure. What are you trying to do?

Because like I will say that as a character, she's not interested in talking to you. So it will have to be something pretty tricky. I have berries. That's she's not interested in taking bribes either. Really? Can I use a fairy child move to to charm her? Yeah. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Yes. Okay. And your time's running out because the sun's going down. I know. Yeah. Yeah. No, you just have to spend a spend a hold. Remember, you don't have to roll. Oh, I don't. Yeah. That's good. I know. That's good.

I don't have to. Wait. What did you roll? I rolled a four. That's fine. I think I charm her by ask by asking about a particularly plush pile of moss. Uh huh. I say it's very soft. When's the last time you petted a moss? This this morning. That's great. You know, murderers don't care about moss. But we do. We love moss. I I I don't doubt that you three are not responsible, but blood debts must be paid. What can we expect at council? You can expect deliberation over what's to be done.

Consternation. Sure. Probably from some adulation. No, definitely not adulation. Preparation. Preparation for judgment. Sure. Masturbation. Definitely not. Masturbation. Masturbation. Maybe. By who? One of the. By whom? Besser. The green speaker. Clay leader is she's she frequently snacks. Oh, tell tell her. I also snack. So we have that in common. And then and therefore we would make good friends. So she probably want to keep us alive for that reason. What enclave do you entail from?

I am a member of the green speakers. Ah. Yeah. As you can tell from telling me. Oh, I didn't even know. I didn't know. No, I didn't. My hooves. Yes. Cool. I take the form of the dough. A deer. A female deer. In fact, well played. I could smell it coming a mile away. Yeah. So she, she mentioned she, she explained she's a member of the green speakers, which is a clade of ungulates is the even toed ungulates is the easiest way to kind of classify. My first shape was a caribou. Oh, first shape.

Oh yes. Of course. The spirit Walker. See, he's the spirit Walker. And then in the background, tech goes spirit Walker. He is the Druid of greatest power. He's doing this exaggerated walk. He's walking with his arms. Cause this is a play that they, I, she stops and she turns around. I shouldn't be telling you this, but if you have any hope of making it through this council alive with your hides intact, do not attempt to lean on the fact that you are the spirit Walker.

It will not be met with adulation. Why not? The spirit Walker. Is not a figure of popular renown. Yes. Not amongst us. You represent a great imbalance in the spiritual world. They will not look on you kindly. Have there been other spirit Walkers in the past stories, but none for millennia. Oh, uh, Savannah, what's something we can do to make sure that we are safe. Uh, I wish I knew. I wish I could tell you. I appreciate everything you've told me us. Thank you.

And she turns and leads you further down the clearing into the trees, a small path. And then you exit the tree line. You hear the crash of the waves as you reach what is clearly the other side. And you come out onto a huge cliff, basically bare stone that pokes out onto the ocean and near the top of the cliff. It kind of flattens out into the Stoney plateau. And then you go down the cliff and you see a huge cliff. And you're like, I can't believe this is happening.

I can't believe this is happening. And then you go down the cliff and you see a huge stoney plateau that looks like maybe it was carved into a flat surface thousands of years ago. And you see seven figures kind of in a semi-circle on the edge of the cliff. And where they're standing is worn. The rock has worn. There's been so many people standing there. Yeah. And as you get closer, you see that there is also a worn, uh, section in the middle, like of sort of the midway point of the semi-circle.

Billy does the cat thing again. He realizes how very high up he is from probably sharp rocks below. He gets really low on the ground. He's also like bursting with flowers and, uh, just pedals everywhere. He's very stressed out. Oh no. Yeah. We look like a wedding party walking to the altar. Yeah. Walking like one foot left foot. Um, yeah. And kind of around the, around the circle, they're like fires burning.

Small fires sort of light the area as the, um, the daylight begins to fade in the fog and you, what you believe to be moonlight is beginning to rise. Oh yeah. The sun sets below the horizon and like the darkness of the gray becomes pitch black. Yeah. Oh, night envelops you the blanket of dusk. Um, do we see stars above us? No. Whoa. That's very dark. Extremely dark. Um, yeah.

And you, so you see the seven people arrayed, uh, on this cliff side, uh, one very clearly empty space, uh, sort of off to the end of the right side where there is a worn patch of stone that has no one standing in it. And you are brought forward, uh, in the center facing you is a grim Shay, the man with the octopus sucker rings on his arms. He crosses his arms. He's standing in front of you and says the oval council has been destroyed.

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, stone high I knew you were right far right kind of guy I think I said left didn't I no did I say right he said far right ah shit yeah I mean maybe but I said the right was the empty one but uh yeah next to the empty spot stone I go stone high and a woman next to him who's probably in her 40s or 50s with antlers says basara and then grim shea says grim shea next to him a woman elderly probably 70 or 80 with um it looks like weeping willow strands hanging from her hair says valari the willow's daughter oh cool um next is a young guy like surprisingly got a young guy like maybe in his early 20s with um totally like yellow eyes with uh like the black slit pupils says aldous of the empty sky next is probably a 40 year old man who looks like he's got um like he's basically got a ton of chest hair but it's uh it's like thick and gray like a pelt uh and he goes hidara man eater and uh the next one is uh a woman with um yeah like like she's got like a black kind of like pelt running down like her neck and uh some of her shoulders um she just says noreen that's her name her name's noreen she doesn't have a cool name except her clade is called the silent step which is pretty tight but grim shea who is obviously the leader of the council or at least uh the speaker says you are before this council today to stand in judgment of the past transgressions of the iliana what say you what are the charges brought before my name you trespass in conflict with an accord made long ago your presence on these islands cannot be allowed how was I supposed to know this your lack of preparation is not the concern of this council but the breaking of the accords I was told of no accord how can that be this was placed upon your family I don't know if my mother was here you could ask her but she's not mother my mother was a iliana I have just learned that it is a family name and not her first name describe this mother you describe your mother if she bears the name iliana then her kin are not allowed on these islands or in these waters why I am on trial at pain of death you will tell me why you will attempt to draw my blood blasphemy jesus christ these guys blasphemy runs in your very veins we will not stand for you now now forward and he goes that's right stone eye it is time for trial by combat I step forward as a champion of the iliana line and I demand to be fought for you know and then he this he starts losing he starts losing the threat for our freedom yeah yeah our freedom for our freedom for freedom to travel in these waters and on land and on the land and in air and in the air and in the other worlds and then tuck kneels in front of ving and he like leans his head forward and he's like give me give me the fucking tiara dude he puts a tiara on his head you are of the iliana line henceforth be known to all challengers and courts who will be challenged by you tuck stands up and he just puts his hands in the air and then he just stands there like that for a minute and no one's saying anything and uh all this of the empty sky laughs so hard this is a farce this is astounding they know nothing of our ways and then I go dude my life is a farce I that I doubt not traveler I I simply in all my days on this council and the willow's daughter goes it's not that many all this don't use that you've only been here for about a year in all my days on this council I have never seen something that brings me such mirth as this buffoon is this what you've been taught of our ways and one of your ways assaulting and capturing innocent travelers like us we're not here to steal or anything like that we were just on our way to the north and you're the ones I point at stone eyes you're the one who brought us here against our will you were trespassing trespassing where not on this land in the the waters of hibernia I explained this already to all of you and how else are we to get there council I'm not going to be there for you I'm going to be there for you I'm going to be there for you if there's not safe passage.

And Grimshay puts his hand on his forehead and goes, frankly, I am not sure the point that any of you are trying to make. And then Tuck goes, he's still got his arms raised above his head and he goes, the point I'm trying to make is, I think Stone Eyes is too scared to fight me. And then he goes, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk! And he, uh… Hey, that's actually a friend of his. Yeah. All this of the empty sky goes, careful. And then he goes, sorry dude.

And then he turns to Stone Eyes and he goes, are you a chicken or a walrus? And I want to use what are you waiting for to try and goad him into agreeing to this trial by combat. I'll tell you the situation right now. Okay. Even off mic. Trial by combat? No precedent for that in this council. Not even one. Like, this is not a thing that they do. Uh, but what you would be doing now is goading Stone Eyes into attacking you. Okay. Like, not, I accept your challenge and adhere to the rules.

More, I'm gonna beat your ass. And then what? We'll see, I guess. It is the next thing that seems to be happening. Yeah, totally. Because you guys have used your usual tactic of annoy everybody that is even trying to cross you at all. 2d6 plus what, charisma? Constitution? Constitution. Here we go! 13. Whoa. 13. Um, yeah, so, what do you, like, all you say is what are you, a chicken or a walrus? Yeah, what are you, a chicken or a walrus?

I don't know if I should be eating you fried or with uh, surf or turf. Oh, yeah. And then tacos, that's pretty good. And Stone Eye roars and just strides forward and tries to punch you in the face. Okay. Rola, what do you, what do you do? I'll just dodge out of the way. Okay. Yeah. Five danger dexterity. Okay, well, 10. Yeah. Nice. He lumbers forward and takes, like, a massive haymaker swing at you and you just step out of the way.

Yeah, I think he's not used to fighting people who aren't, who don't, like, flinch back. Uh-huh. So he, like, overextends and tuck, like, ducks underneath his punch and gets behind him. And then, are you just trying to get him to keep trying to hit you? No, I punch him in the kidney really hard. Okay, there you go. Oh, God. Hack and slash. Nine. Okay, so, uh, yeah, roll your damage. Four. And then roll a d12. Holy shit. Remember? Two. Oh, shit. Wow. That's annoying for him.

Uh, so, yeah, you hammer him in the kidney and, um, you realize that this is a big dude, but, uh, there's a lot of muscle under there. Uh-huh. Like, it hurts when you punch him. Um, but you do, he, like, grunts. And he turns around and, like, backhand just smacks you in the face with his huge fist. And he's gonna keep trying to fight you, but, like, members of the council are stepping forward. Like, Hedara, Maneater, and Aldis are trying to grab Stoneye. Ving steps in with a fight with honor.

I wanna roll. Okay. So I can take a blow meant for somebody. Uh, yeah, sure. Roll plus con. Twelve. Okay. So I get three hold. Yep, so you got your hold now. So I block a blow meant for me or someone else, and I take half the damage. Uh… So he's gonna try and hit Tuck again. Oh, yeah, he's gonna try and hit him again. For sure. Yeah, he's, he's, like, storming towards you. He's trying to get you in a, in a bear hug. Okay. Yeah. Uh, so what do you do?

I kinda wanna, you know when someone charges, I wanna, like, wrap my arms around him and then rock bottom him, basically. Like, flip him over my head. Yeah. Full suplex. Yeah. Okay, so defy danger strength, I guess. Okay. Here we go. Thirteen. Okay. Then you go ahead and roll your hack and slash. We have monster rolls today. Eight. Okay. Okay. So again, d10 and then roll a d12. Three. Four. Goddamn. I was so excited for that huge attack.

Um, yeah, so you, uh, you know, tense all of your muscles and pick this guy up over your head. It's insane to watch. It's like Tuck is picking up a little bus, basically. Yeah, totally. The ground shakes when Stoneye hits the ground. Yeah. He, um, hits and he grunts, like, you see him bite his lip or something and blood starts to pour out of his mouth. And then he is a, uh, an elephant seal. And you realize, oh, he's not a walrus or a chicken. He's a third animal.

And, um, yeah, this is when Ving, I guess, is going to step in and take half this blow. Yeah. So you're going to take two points. You're going to take two points. So basically he is an elephant seal and he rears up to his full elephant seal height and tries to come down with like a massive chomp on Tuck. But both of you basically like catch him. Yeah. We both grab a tusk. Yeah. Elephant seals don't have tusks, but I know what you mean. Yeah. They have big floppy. Elephant nose.

We each grab a nipple. Come here. The council members get around Stoneye and like where there were six other human beings. There's now a huge caribou. There is a massive gray like dire wolf tree, a full like willow tree with arms and legs. Grim Shay has not changed form because he turns into an octopus. But then there's like, you know, an owl and a panther and they're all just like trying to break the three of you up. Can I use connections for the fairy? Oh, yeah. That's like the underworld.

Yeah. Okay. So this is what I want to do. Yeah. I want to ask the fairy to aid us basically. Yeah. And what like what so what are you asking them to do? Like age you? What do you mean? Like help fight for us or stop the council somehow like either manipulate the land or use some sort of charm to protect us or something like that. Okay. Yeah. Go ahead and roll connections. Okay. Eight. So I'll have to settle for something closer. It comes with strings attached. Okay.

I think I think this all happens like in an instant like Billy's like hyper cognition like speaking with a fairy and getting all this like information right. Yeah. Really quick. There's a lot of roots coming actually from me like, you know, like a strawberry vine in a way. Yeah. And it's basically like me reaching out for help. Yeah, totally. I like the I like the I like the you said in the Phalan to the time moves differently. It does.

So you'd be off like going to council meetings like let's have a sleepover and talk about this. Yeah, let's talk this out. Yeah. So you end up you have a little sleepover in a strawberry bush with a little strawberry fairy. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I can. Oh, yeah, we can help but you have to promise to do something for me. Okay. What would you like? I'll tell you what it is later. Later? Later. Come on. Come on. You can trust me, but you're going to do a good job, right?

I'm going to make sure that we're fine. Mm-hmm. Are other fairies going to help you or is it just you? Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, then you have a deal and we wrap our little vines together. Yeah. Pinky promise. Oh, oh shit. Fuck you. No. And the little strawberry fairy is like, oh, how'd you get me? I always do. Fairies are so fucking stupid. And Billy, you like that only took like half a second in reality.

And then all of these from the edges, like up around the cliff through the cracks in the rock and from the edge of the forest, like vines, like blackberry vines, strawberry vines start shooting out. They're like snapping at the council and they're like coming up, like breaking through the rock and they wrap around tuck thing. Stone.

I everybody that's fighting, they try and get all this, but he's flapping around in the air and there's like a great like straining sound as they all get pulled apart. And now they're all just like struggling against these vines. Stone. I told you, leave my friends alone. He's a he's in his lion form. He's like, you change back so we can have an actual conversation. Yeah, he's in it.

He's a guy again, like he his body changes and now he's just this like huge like he I have a lot more power than any of you. So you listen to us. The Willow's daughter looks at you and goes, Who are you? I'm Billy and I am one of the spring fairies and I am a I am from here and I have been here millennia before any of you guys were roll 26 plus charisma. Okay, please nine. Okay, can we aid? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, so how I was thinking of somehow using something to bring you out more fairiness like to bring out the plant like to like like I'm do not take me for a conjurer of cheap tricks. Yeah, he's like my God like I bring you up and like build what you into his winter war. I was going to say like the wood mechanism. Yeah, you bring me bring me through like the stages of my life cycles with the snow and I swirling lifetime.

Yeah, so I'm you know, like one of the trees and I'm like oaky and strong and tall and then I'm the wind. This is what he's saying to oh, yeah, I am the oak. I am the wind and the wind and then I'm the ice. I'm the ice under your feet and like all this ice comes up under them and I am the dreams that visit you in your sleep and the memories that your grandfather's and your mother's and all those that came before you remember pretty sick. So sick.

I also remember I didn't yeah, so hopefully that works. Yeah. Hell yeah, seven. Yeah, it just works it. So yeah, it's it's more being kind of tips Billy over the edge with this influence and this in this energy starts to overtake Billy. So like his from what you can see his body like his form is changing. He's becoming the summer and the autumn and the winter. Yeah, shifting through all these forms. He's taken over the over the eons. Yeah, and my winter form is frightening. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's a warrior. Yeah, you know, I'm like a I'm like a wood sort of like a wooden man, but like with stone and ice and I'm like so angry looking fucking made to kill yeah, me like what weapon ax my advice, but I've also got like a huge bow and arrow, but I also have like arrows through me. I'll fight anyway. Yeah, like so so you're like fraud like horror frost. Yeah, and all my scars are iced over cool.

Yeah, I like the idea of having your ice ax so you can like as like a punctuation to what you're saying. Yeah, like slam it down and shatter it on there like yeah, you like slam it into the rock and the ice shoots out under their feet. Cool. Yeah, it smashes the X and if you do anything to harm my friends all the fairies behind me on this land will destroy you and we'll take back our home because we let you live here in our good graces and one by one the members of the Oval Council clap.

No, they they take their human forms and the vines. I imagine recede. Yeah, as they've all calmed down and take back their steps, but they're all looking at Billy with this like quiet. Oh, and fear. Yeah, I'm a child again, but I'm furious walk over and put the tear on your head. Thanks Hadara Maneater says what have you brought to us? No one has brought anything. I have come home. That's a fucking cool line. Sorry sorry that got me really psyched Grim Shay turns to stone.

I and says that is not how a member of this council comports themselves control your urge is stone. I or we will find another for your place and then tuck goes. Yes, don't I? Don't I burn and he goes burn and he just goes like and a bunch of like salt spray like comes out of his nostrils like mist like he's just like sinus infections there. They'll fucking do you and man Grim Shay holds up his hand says enough.

Okay, Bessara steps forward says you must understand you represent a great challenge for our community. This Accord was laid long ago by whom by this council this very cancel this council as an entity. You must understand that this is not something that we can overlook. We must come to a conclusion. Well, the conclusion doesn't have to be blood innocent blood. What do you suggest? I'm not sure. I mean, I can't account for everything that all my relatives have done.

There's a name that I'm coming to later in life and I can vouch for one of the people who held it and I would like to do so on her behalf in her memory. Yeah, so they're basically like what are you? What is your I will tell you the history that I know about myself. And then you tell me what you know about myself what you assume to know about me in this name that is attached to my life. My mother Ileana raised me in the north in old sheer.

She's the one who taught me how to harness my Druid abilities. She taught me how to live off the land. She taught me how to believe in myself and trust myself. She taught me that I was thinking of let's stop me dead. I was like that love is conditional.

That's obviously what she taught me because she's the one who raised me so she didn't do a good job of not doing that and so after she died I went to stay with my father who was a Ranger King in the great forest and I lived with him in the court of the woods and I left there with only memories of her and her name and this song that she sang me in my heart. And then he sings the lullaby. Oh yeah.

If your bones start to feel the cold, snuggle up with me and be told and when you're all warm in bed mama will tell you when the snow turned red. And when the U-Strong arrows fly, remember the words of this lullaby. As the birds pluck arrows from the sky, rally behind those with stones for eyes. And if your loved one raises arms, hold them close while they do you harm. For bringing love across on ships and the kiss from death upon my lips.

You Grim Shay says you are the son of an Illyana and a Ranger? I am the son of Illyana my mother and the Ranger King. Then you are twice damned. Go on. I don't think I had to try. I told you all my stuff. Are you saying that your mother was the Defiler? I maybe. I never knew her to defile. That's not possible. She was killed on these islands. She was killed at the hands of my father. What do you know of the Rangers?

I know that the Illyana's brought death to these islands at the hands of the Rangers. They came to this island seeking the Defiler. The false Illyana. And they brought their armies with them. What does false Illyana mean? An outsider. A traveler. Someone that works the foul energies. They took her in. And she brought death in her wake. Are you saying that my mother wasn't an Illyana? That she adopted the name? Is that what you mean?

And then Tuck leans in and he's like, hey, uh, QQ, uh, just, some of us are a little behind, uh, what did the Defiler do? She used her foul magics to create life. Whole cloth. She bore an unnatural child. What are you saying? If you are her son, then you were not born of woman, but of darkness. And of witchcraft. Watch where you're pointing that finger. I point it where it needs to be pointed. Well, you might see that there's three more pointing at you.

I've never thought about it like that before. I'm not my mother's son. She created me. So you mean? She did. She carried you. She birthed you. But there was no father. There was only her magic. She was a wizard. They all spit on the ground. Alright, so, can you come into a huddle with Bill here, please? I could use a hug, actually. Alright. We hug him. Thanks, guys. And we're like, okay, so. This is, he's really, really cryptic, right? I know he's super beaten around the bush.

Can't really tell what he's saying, but is he saying that your mom is a wizard? Yeah. And that your dad is not your dad? I think that's what it sounds like. Excuse me, Grimshaw. Grimshay. We didn't see that Billy, oh. Billy left the huddle. I just turn around. Sorry, Grimshay. Are you saying that Ving's mom is a wizard? I know that you don't like the word. Yes. Pretty cool.

And the Illianas harbored her while she did her dark work, betrayed everything that we on these islands hold dear, and brought death in her wake. But not by any fault of her own? By her very existence. But did she choose to be that way? I don't think so. Existence is not a damnation. Her choice is irrelevant. How is it irrelevant? Lives were lost because she came here. Her life was lost! Druid, you know more than anyone the laws of life and nature. It just happens sometimes.

Or have you forgotten? Yeah. Yeah, I think you forgot too. Yeah. I mean, as much as we know, magic is bestowed upon us by nature. Um, I mean, you're not making a, you're not making a… Can I roll for it? You can make it, yeah. Defy Danger Charisma. Seven. Seven. Nice. Okay, so they're not gonna just kill the three of you.

Um, but uh, Hedara Maneater has been like literally growling where he stands, like, you can hear him growling in his throat, and he spits on the ground and goes, We may have came from a single source, but we work with the energies of life. The wizards bend them to their will. And do you not bend the spirits to your will? We work in conjunction with the spirits. I don't know about that. You know nothing of our ways, fairy. Oh! Holy shit!

He really explodes into bloom, and he's like, I know everything. Oh fuck. What are you, what are you gonna, is there some show of force that you're gonna attempt? Like, let me know how this feels. I take the knowledge, the Tree of Knowledge seed, and I plunge it, like, with my like, stone fist from my winter fairy body, into the ground. Sick. And I wanna see if that does anything. Yeah, what, what, what, what do you try, what do you think it would do? I kinda think it would grow right there.

Yeah? Is that stupid? No. Here, here's my, here's my suggestion. Yeah? Cause you can make the immaterial material. Yeah? Time is immaterial. So you could just take time and pour it into the seed, and make it grow into a full tree. Yeah, maybe I'll do that. That's intense. Watch the rocks, like, The divot where we're, where like, you know, the judged would stand, like, that's where I'm gonna grow that tree. Oh, cool. And it will hold a lot of my memories. Oh, cool. Yeah.

Okay, then you are gonna roll for lightning in a bottle. Is that okay? Yeah. Nine. It's nine. Eight. How so? Yeah. I bring in the elements to the, for the, for the tree. Yeah? Yeah. Oh, to feed it. To feed it, water it, light, create a hole, use the weather weaver move that I didn't take to make a hole in the fog for sunlight to get in. Yeah, totally. Two to six plus bond. Nice. Nine. Okay. Yeah, so ten.

So this terrifying figure of ice and stone plunges their fist into the ground with this tree of knowledge, and it begins to grow. What does it look like? What kind of tree is it? Um, it is an oak tree. And the bark is like a very shiny reddish brown color. Mm-hmm. Kinda like my hair. Nice. Yeah. And it's, is it like just enormous? Yeah. Or is it just like a full grown? It's pretty big. Yeah. Um. Picture, it looks like an Arbutus in my head because of the red bark. Oh, actually, you know what?

Yeah, it is like an Arbutus. And it's on the, like a cliff on the rocks. Yeah. Cool. Oh, yeah. Exactly. So it's an Arbutus, and a lot of the knowledge is on the leaves, but it's also on the bark, and the bark peels. Yeah. There's so many peelings that are coming off this tree because of so many memories. Mm-hmm. Oh, cool. So beautiful. Um. Layers and layers. Yeah.

And this all happens, you know, centuries pass in a heartbeat as this tree bursts from the rock, cracking the stone around it, uh, its trunk growing, arcing off in wildly twisting shapes until a towering Arbutus tree canopies this entire cliffside, and the council is dumbfounded. Yeah. They're just staring at the tree, mouth agape. You are welcome to read through my lifetimes. And you'll find that I and we and the wizards all come from one place. Ooh, nice.

Grimshay gathers himself, looks to the three of you, but seems to be addressing Billy in a very respectful way. And I'm a kid again. Yeah. Uh, and he says, we must deliberate. Yeah, do you mind if I, like, go get a snack? Please. But I request, and he says request, not demand, I request that you remain in the village until we come to a decision. Yeah, I saw some really good fish being cooked. Um, I think I'm gonna go there. Very well. Can I bring my friends? Please.

A bunch of members of the council try and make eye, like, they make eye contact with you, Ving, as you're leaving. And they don't look happy. Um, maybe the willow's daughter is a little softer in how she looks at you. Stone-Eye is staring Tuck dead in the face. And Tuck gives him a thumbs up. I can't tell where you're looking. You don't have pupils, man. Our time is not done. And Tuck's like, okay, well, we could settle it, lay it here, man. And we will. Okay.

Here on this island, or out in the sea, you and I will meet again. Okay. And if you don't show up, I'll tell everyone that you're scared again. And Tuck is like, leaving, he's like, that's totally cool, we will meet again. I'll be down in the village. Okay, I'm going. And he waves you away. And then I I'll see you later. And then Tuck is like, do you know where Servana went? Or… He asks Stonai. And you're leaving. Stonai has completely turned his back on you. He's not interested. Cool. Okay.

And Servana meets you at the edge of the forest. Hey! You're alive. That's more than I would have expected, to be honest. Yeah, they're gonna discuss stuff. And we're allowed to get a snack if you want to come. And she looks over and sees the knowledge tree that's grown out of the cliffside. And she like, steps back. Goes, wha… Oh, I had… It was pretty cool. We found one of the seeds a long time ago. Yeah. And it's just been waiting for somewhere to grow, so I just put it there.

It's a perfect spot, really. Yeah. Um, I I'll… Okay. And I wrote you a poem while I was back there. Let's get back to the village. And she turns around and starts walking away. And as she's walking away, I'm following her, I was like, to the beautiful Servana. I would like to see your bra. I should tell you, I've taken a vow of celibacy. So, I don't know what to… You know what? Me too, in a lot of ways. I've kinda taken an… I've kinda taken an involuntary vow of celibacy.

Some people would call me an involuntary celibate, or an incel. But not… With all the negative connotations. Not the way that you're thinking about it. Just the fact that nobody fucks me. It's not like a… It's not like a thing. It's just I personally have taken a vow of celibacy to greater connect with the spiritual energies of blah blah blah blah. Me too. All the green speakers are celibate. Yet, up top, Ving, high fives. She high fives Ving. She clop clop clop. Heads back to the village.

So, celibacy, like, does that include mouth and hand stuff? Oh my god. Billy covers his ears for this. And she leads you back to town. And you go back to… Mouth and hand stuff. You go back to the hut that you were in before and someone has thrown three bedrolls in there. And, yep, you're led back to the hut. The two selkies that were guarding you are gone, but you've been asked by Grimshay not to leave the island until they come to a conclusion. Great. Is there poo still in the hut?

There is, yep. I clean it out. Ving clings it out. I'll help you. That's fine. It's just, guys, it's one shit. Most of my piss mostly washed away, so, yeah. It's really on me now. There's no drainage in here, so the piss is just also everywhere. Servana looks… Squeegeeing the floor. Servana's at the doorway and she looks around and goes, well, have a good night. It smells like piss and shit in here. It does. And she walks away. Thank you for letting us sleep in your toilet. Uh… Uh… Uh…

So gross. Uh… Can… After we clean the poo, can we go get some fish? Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, let's do that. Yeah, no one's guarding you, but you've just been asked not to leave the island. Let's go get some fish and some seaweed wrap. Scallops. Yeah. And there is a… There are, you know… It's pretty late now, but there is… There are some people that have made some fish for you. There's 24-hour fish fry. Yeah. And you know what else I bet it is? Uh… The nocturnal druids. Oh.

Because some of them take nocturnal forms. Oh, yeah. So they're up at night and they sleep during the day. So there's like, uh… One that has like, uh… Like raccoon rings around his eyes. Like straight up just… He turns into a raccoon. Oh, hi! Welcome. Are you hungry? Yes. Thank you. Alright. Well, I've got some, um… I got some fish here. I got, uh… It's like a sliced thin vegetables. He's basically like a diner cook, but like on a hot rock. Yeah.

He's got a little apron on, but it's like made out of leather and he's got raccoon rings around his eyes. Hi, I'm Ving. I'm, uh… Uh, you could… Oh, uh… Wow, what a lame name. What? You can call me Shadow Snout. It's a new name I'm working on. It's because when I take my form, I'm quite… It's dark and I have a snout and I keep to the shadows. So you're, like, really good at smelling things at night. Oh, I got a keen sense of smell all times of day.

Must suck to have to work with fish all the time, man. Oh, it's amazing. Oh. You ever smelled fish? I don't. Smelled. And he kinda, like, wafts his hands in front of the fish. It smells pretty good. It's really fresh. Billy floats towards… Like a little buddy with a pie. Yeah. Caught fresh this morning just by me. I went down and I turned into a raccoon. I grabbed him with me little hands and I brought him back up here to cook. Cool. Wow. Cute. So good. Thank you. Thank you. It is cute.

Compliments to the chef. Hey, thanks little boy. Wow. Hey, are you… Are you… And he leans… He leans way down and goes, are you a… A fairy? Me? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. He stands back up and goes, wow. I mean, there's a lot here, you know. I've always thought there must be. Do you not know where you are? Yeah, is it not part of what you… I mean, like, it's part of… How you live here? Yeah, well, no, it's part of the… Part of the history of the island, sure, but not part of my everyday life.

I mean, I mean, there's a fairy right there. I point to the bush I jumped in to earlier. That bush there? Yeah. That's a fairy. That's a… Wow. That's a fairy. And the tree over there, that's a winter fairy. Whoa! So they have seen a lot. Don't say, don't say, don't say. Huh. There could be fairies everywhere. Oh, no! Yeah. He's like a really polite waiter, basically. Wow. Yeah, flipping his fish. Wow, you don't say. Yeah, they see…

They see you when you're sleeping, they know when you're awake. They know if you're being battered. And they watch you in the toilet, too. No, we don't! Yeah, and then Tuck's like, yeah, they do. Not always. Just if I also have to go to the toilet, and you're taking a long time. So I have to make sure you're okay. Yeah. So be good. So be quick for goodness sake. Yeah. Flashback to, like, Tuck sitting on the toilet, and Billy just opening the door, and Tuck's like, Billy, privacy.

This, we've talked about this so many times. I like that Billy's shadow walks through the door. Billy, you can't use the shadow! Like, he's banging on the door, and he's like, Tuck, you can't walk. Let me in! I leave the door open, and like, Cash walks by, and he's like, Tuck, what's wrong with you? Are you fucking kidding me? Gross! Just imagining… He trips over Billy's sleeping body, lands an open door of shit shitting.

I'm just imagining the door swinging open, and Billy standing there, just like, arms at his sides, no expression on his face, staring at Tuck. Billy, close the door! Sorry. Just making sure you're okay. I'm okay. It smells like somebody died in there. I'm taking a shit. I just… You just take a long time. Yeah. Sorry. He's like, dishes. Billy, close the door, honey! Vinging that. Cooking me a frilly apron. Yeah. Uh… We just did a flashback to an extended scene of Tuck taking a shit. Yeah.

Four different times of Billy walking in the… Yeah, those were four separate incidents. Yeah. Him shadow walking through, him standing there with no expression on his face. And the cash one. Yeah, cash walking by, Ving making dinner. Happened a lot. So funny. Uh, yeah, so Shadow Snout is like, yeah, wow, fairy, huh? Chup, chup, chup, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip. Well, fairies like fish. I love fish. Well, here you go. And he puts it on a little bark plate, hands it over. Thank you.

You're welcome. Thank you so much. You too, here you go. Thank you. Thank you very much. Enjoy. Can I have some more fish? Yeah, yeah, yeah, here you go. I can't really eat the vegetables. Oh, that's fine. Oh, fine. I'll take… I'm on a keto diet. Oh, hey, you know what? Honestly, a lot of the people on this island are technically on a keto diet, so… I myself eat garbage, so it doesn't really make a difference to me. I eat anything. What's your favorite garbage? Oh, like a banana peel. Oh.

Delicious. Really? Yeah, I love them. Oh, cool. You must not get them a lot up here. No, so rare. Oh, I had a banana peel once, oh, I want to say six or seven years ago, and I still think about it. I still have a piece of it. It's because everybody thinks that the flavor's in the banana, but the flavor leaches into the peel. That's why bananas are so soft and gross. But the peel is firm and vibrant. So you think that flavor makes things harder? Yeah. That's all the best foods are hard.

You got nuts, you got… Salt? Salt. You got jerkies, hard meat, soft meat? Gross. Hard meat? Delicious. Servana gave me some hard meat earlier. I don't understand if that is a joke or if she actually gave you some jerky. She did give me jerky. Okay. All right, well, I mean, we could keep, we could keep gobbing away, shooting the breeze, but I'll just be, you know, up. I'm gonna, I'm probably gonna go fuck around in the woods in a little bit. This is prime nighttime, prime nighttime.

Sleep in a tree, dig around in a hole, find something to smell. Oh, I love those activities. Yeah, I love it. I love being a raccoon. That's a great… That sounds fun. Billy's wearing the skin, right? I am. And he's like, hey. What? Are you, are you like a… Oh, this. Yeah. It's really old. I found it a long time ago. Oh, okay. Don't worry. Just wanted to make sure it wasn't anyone I knew. Oh, don't worry about it. Oh, oh, anyway. Probably not.

My granddad got turned into a hat, so I decided I'd check. Um, Billy… Billy's like, oh, shit. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's not, it's not a weird thing here. Okay. You know, we understand we're part of the cycle of life, and animals are part of the circle as well. People hunt animals. I eat meat. A lot of people on this island, you know, are predators. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. It just happens. Part of the way things go. Yeah, definitely nothing unnatural here on this island.

Everything's just as it is everywhere else in nature. He's thinking about maybe being a mermaid instead of born. Right on, brother. Oh, no. Right, yeah, we totally forgot about that. Yeah, we look at Bing like, hey, are you okay? And you hear a in the distance. Yeah. Yeah, you know what? He looks up at the sky. I'm gonna go fuck around in the woods. And he takes his apron off, walks three feet, turns into a raccoon, and scurries off into the shadows. I love that guy. I love him. I love that guy.

I love him. Yeah, Billy's got tears in his eyes. His eyes, because the fish's so good. He cooked so much of it. He did, and it is excellent. But yeah, you guys are just kind of standing around the fire. It's pretty quiet. Seems like most of the nocturnal druids are going about their days. Is there anything we should find out while we're… Yeah. I wanna know more about what the fuck they're talking about. About your mom being a wizard? Yeah. Do you think that's why my dad killed her? Maybe.

Oh shit, right. Remember Shathane told us that the rangers hunted wizards? Yeah. Also, like, does that mean that your dad is not your dad? I mean, where do I get all these from? Well, like I have… Like your elf ears? I'm elf ears and I have the tail of a druid? Yeah. I don't know what's going on. Can we, like, Spout Lore or something? Yeah. Or you could um… I mean, Perel is down on the boat. That's what I was thinking. We could maybe go talk to Perel. I was hoping that Perel we could go…

Yeah. So you head back down to the boat. Yeah. And there are Selkie guards, um, in their seal forms. Asleep, for sure. Look how cute they are. Like that laying full on their back. Yeah. Their fins stretch sometimes. Yeah. Well, some… A couple of them have done that thing where they pull their heads, like, into their bodies so they just look like a sausage. Cute. Um, but you get the idea. You've been asked not to leave. If you try to leave, the Selkies will try to stop you.

We're too captivated. Billy's home. This is… Yeah. You got a cool fight coming up. I feel like we're here to stop. Oh, yeah. I'm looking forward to that for sure. You're the one who asked for it, though. I know, but I thought there was, like, a lot more on the… I thought I could just fix this whole situation by beating him up. And that was not the case. It was not at all the case. I misread that whole situation wildly. I misread that whole situation wildly. They were really confusing and…

I get it. Such a cryptic group. I'm sorry I took that from you, but it's so much funnier for Trial by Combat to just not be a thing. I challenge you to a fight. Okay. That's not a thing. If you want a fight, we'll fight. But yeah, the boat is there. Hardcore beached. Um… Oh, right. Yeah. You actually see Ollie is leaned up against the hull. It looks like he's been trying to patch up, uh… Patch up the scratches, like maybe paint over some stuff or father shit or whatever. Yeah.

But it looks like everybody on the boat is asleep. It's the middle of the night. Pirello, I think my mom was a wizard. So you're like in the hull, like waking… Like inside the boat, waking Pirello. Yeah, I lost it. I'm standing over… What? Standing over him saying that. What? Hey, he's got a little butter knife. And he holds it and goes, what? I like push it back into his forehead. Ah, fuck. Oh, hi guys. Hi. I think my mom was a wizard. What? What do you… What? What do you mean?

That's what the druids up there were saying. Mm-hmm. Can you… Can you guys give me like 30 seconds? Alright. One, two, three. Oh my god. He's like rubbing his eyes. He's pat… Like pawing around for his glasses. He's wearing a long shirt, like just a night shirt, and that's it. Like he's like one of the kids from Peter Pan? Exactly. Okay. Yeah. I go get his pants. Yeah, thanks. He might want these. I imagine he puts his pants on, but then he tucks his incredibly long shirt into the…

Into the pants. It takes forever, and then he's just got like a poo around his waist. They're not pants, they're shorts, and they're… Yeah. …coming out of the bottoms. Let me just get some shorts on. Uh, so like five, ten minutes later, you guys are down the beach. You've built a little fire, and you filled Perel in on the whole situation. Yeah. And Perel is just like, like he's resting his chin on his fist, looking at the fire and going, wow. That can't be true, right? Uh, I mean…

I mean, my ears, my tail… I mean, there were… There was a lot of talk about the creation of sentient life via Thaumaturgy, but it was like pie in the sky, maybe one day, hopefully soon, we'll see kind of thing. Can wizards have kids? Like once you kind of like become a wizard, can you have a kid? Um… What do we think? I guess probably not. Maybe like the process of becoming… Like the biological change of being a wizard. Right, your physiology totally changes.

Yeah, so maybe you become incapable of reproduction. Yeah. Cause there's always the chance that you would create a wizard, which would unbalance the whole point of… Right. Yeah. So she must have been… She must have got pregnant before she became a wizard, if that's what happened. Or she figured out how to make herself pregnant, like cause she wanted to have a child. Yeah. So she was trying to solve this problem. Holy shit. If that's true, one, your mom… Wait, how long ago were you born?

Um… In around 80 years, I don't know. So that means, one, that your mom survived the Exodus, somehow. I guess the druids took her in, the Ilianas took her in for some reason, and she was able to give birth to you. She hid her wizardry in with the druids. And she learned to be a druid. Yeah. With them. She was able to, yeah, become a druid, make herself a druid, and then make you a druid. Mm-hmm.

So if your dad isn't your dad, maybe the fact that you were raised to believe that he was your dad is why you became half-elf. Oh shit. And as she's saying this, Ving's, like, countenance is, like, softens in the points of his ears, like Whoa! Holy shit! What? And his, uh, his, uh, his gills close. What the fuck? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

And he comes down to his hands, and then he holds them in front of, in front of him, puts them together, and puts them back against his chest, and my gills open, and my ears go back. What? What the fuck? Have you done that before? No. But somehow I I knew I could. I don't know how to explain that. What am I? Who am I? Well, well, now hold on, hold on, hold on. And he, Perel's, like, put his hands up, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, dude.

If what your mother achieved is what she achieved, you are yourself. You're a person. You're Ving. You're not a trick. You're not a creature. A replicate. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You bleed. You breathe. You eat. You sleep. You drink. She created life. You've died before. The only things that can die are things that are alive. I didn't really die, did I? This is a lot. This is a, this is a quite a head scratcher. Perel's basically like, just give me some time.

I'm gonna try and see if I can't remember anything about anyone that would have been involved in this. This line of work. This school of magic that disappeared around the time of the Exodus. I'll see what I can figure out. What do you, do you know anything about the Ilianas? Can you find out about them too? The druids? Like, you keep talking about it like it's, but are all the druids up here called Ilianas? Or is there different families? No, there, no, this is Sean.

There are different families for sure, but you know that the Ilianas were a family line from Hibernia that were cast out. Yeah. I wonder if, because there's runes everywhere on this island. Oh, right. There are on the tree, like there's knowledge trees. Yeah. And there's runes all on the cliffs and rocks. We could go look and see if there's anything we can read. Oh, yeah. The tree of some, some tree of knowledge has to know this. You can go ask the trees. Yeah, we should definitely do that.

We should go look at the trees. But also, this raises another big question, which is, why the fuck did your dad try to convince you that you were his son? Yeah, why? Like… Well, maybe he… I mean, I don't want to presume too much about your family, but there must have been a time, did your… Your father loved your mother, right? I mean, why would he kill her? He killed her. But why would he take you as his son? Just out of guilt? Maybe, but…

I feel like there's, there's something that's not lining up here. There's some piece that we're missing. Well, I guess there's, uh, only one person who could line this up for us. And then Tuck is like, is it possible that your dad kept you as a weapon? The only child born of a wizard. Like, you can shape-shift into any animal. Or anything, maybe. Yeah. You think you wanted to use me? I mean, he was grooming me to be a ranger. Like him. But, I don't know. It's possible.

Yeah, like you said, I think the only person that knows for sure is him. Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna, and he does that thing where he, uh, puts, he pats his hands on his knees and goes, alright! And stands up and goes, I'm gonna go back to the boat, I'm gonna see if I can, uh, figure something out in regards to your mom. Uh, to, uh, let me know how the tree thing goes. Thanks. See ya. Bye. Bye. Hey, Perel. I mean it, thank you. Hey, I'm, I gotta say, I'm, uh, overjoyed to learn more about this.

This is, you, you represent an incredible breakthrough in the thaumaturgical arts. Uh, and, uh, I just, I can't, you know, this isn't the time, I'm sorry. He's been, like, eyes squinting and getting wider at the same time. No, no, no, this isn't the time. You're right. I'll, I'll see, I'll talk to you guys later. Pat, pat, pat, pat. That's him walking down the beach. I just remembered, we have those bookworms. Oh, shit, right. Oh. I always ask a question. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Ask a question of the library. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, we kinda should at least let Farrah know some of this stuff. Great. Let's send out a bookworm. I love that idea. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, so what do you, what's the bookworm gonna say? We don't have a lot of space, right? Yeah. Cause we only have two of these and we probably don't wanna waste both of them on this thing, right? Yeah. You probably just wanna send one. Ving writes up, unfurls the wings and writes, Farrah, you up?

Starts folding them in. Okay, no, no, no, no, no. You think some more information? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's probably a bit more information. I mean, there's another wing. We could write something on there. Oh, yeah. Sorry, he told us that question mark. It's gone. Uh, yeah, what do we wanna know? We'd let her know. We write in the tiny little lettering. Ving Mom Wizard. We can, we can use like apostrophes and S's and stuff, I think. Oh, sorry. We could use conjunctions. Ving Mom Wizard.

Booking freaks? I freak nature. Um, well, I don't know how to write, so whatever. I guess I'll go kick rocks then. Well, you know how to talk. Barely. I guess. Billy talked good. Billy's gonna go kick rocks. Okay, Ving's mom is a wizard. Yeah. We found, what do you know of wizards creating life? Right. Have you heard of the Ilianas? Yeah. She possibly made me? And then also that she survived the Exodus by being harbored by a druidic family.

What, and then also what do they know of the ranger attack on the Ilianas? And the druid island of Hibernia? Right on both sides of both wings. Yeah. You can see the bookworm's like rolling his eyes, like, come on, hurry up. It's like getting a really long tattoo. Yeah. And yeah, he writes himself, extends his little parchment wings, and flies away. Good luck. And Billy, you're kicking rocks down the beach, and you hear, uh, hey. What? Hey. Ooh, what's up? Where? And you see a little strawberry.

Oh. Walk out of the grass. Look at you. I pick, pick up the strawberry. We had a deal. Yeah, what's, yeah? What? But you wouldn't tell me what it was. Well, I'm about to tell you now. Fine, what is it? That's where we're gonna end it for this week. What the fuck? That's fine, that's fine. I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdulaziz. So long. Playing Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, question mark? Paul Oppers. Whoa. Take care, everybody.

And playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye. Thank you to Aaron Reid of Vancouver Sunday Service for the incredible intro and outro music that he has performed for us live two times a month for six years, really doing us a huge service. Uh, you can find all of the music performed on the show at soundcloud.com slash Spout Lore. Yeah, man. I think. It's a, it just starts out, Spout Lore soundcloud. Yeah. Let Google do the heavy lifting for you there.

Uh, thank you to all of our Patreons who support us. Around the world, you can support us on Patreon for a whack of bonus content at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore dot com slash money, please. Uh, and thank you to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time.

And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times abreast in revelry and the though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly Spout Lore and you may be able to read the lore and the lore and the lore and the lore

If you like our show and you want to hear some more of our show, or similar shows, or content that didn't get into the show, go to the Patreon and there will be some of that over there. Oh, that was good. You fucking flubbed it. You bailed on yourself. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in bread. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me, as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello, every… Guys. Playing Fat Billy. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hi, everyone. When last we left our heroes, they had come upon the revelation that Ving's mother, name previously thought to be Ileana, was likely killed during or as a result of a battle between the rangers and the druids of Hibernia.

We were then collected by Savarna, a member of the Greenspeakers' clade, and a deer from the waist down. She was a great help to the! Who took you all up to see the council, the Oval Council, leaders of the clades of Hibernia. We met a whole bunch of wacky characters.

Stoneeye, King of the Selkies, Bessara, leader of the Greenspeakers, Grimshay of the Deepstriders, Velary, aka the Willow's Daughter of the Sungazers, Aldous of the Empty Sky of the Windwalkers, Hedara Maneater of the Hunters, and Nareen of the Quiet Step. Nareen of Toronto. Nareen of Toronto. Nareen of Thunder Bay, Ontario. I got lost. I got off the wrong bus and now I'm just here. They won't let me leave. Because they figured out I could turn into animals.

Which is a thing that's always been true about me. Yep. Ving was questioned before the council. They explained that the blood oath had to be paid, blood debt rather, for transgressions by the Ileana family. There was a whole lot of back and forth. Yeah. There was a whole lot of back and forth. Them saying words like blasphemy, defiling, defilement, etc. And Tuck decided that this was time for his big play. It was a pretty cool play.

Which was challenging Stone Eye, King of the Selkies, to single combat. Yeah. I was going for a trial by combat kind of thing. Yeah. Did not work out. They said that that was not how they do things. No. Aldous of the Empty Sky, a young man that can turn into an eagle, thought it was hilarious. Uh. Until Tuck continued goading Stone Eye and then getting into a big old bust up. It was a bench clear. Like the whole council came down. Yeah. It was a whole scrap.

Everyone got down on the ice and started fighting. Scrapping gloves off. Gloves everywhere. Until Billy called upon the fairies for aid, requesting of a humble strawberry spirit that he help him. And the strawberry agreed, as long as Billy accepted a price, helping the strawberry with some task unnamed. Vines sprouted from everywhere. The rocks, the forest, the cliffside, tearing the combatants and the council apart.

So Billy could thunderously proclaim himself having returned to the home of his people and his endless eternal knowledge and self. Stake a claim with a tree planted. Yeah. Oh yeah. It was cool. Going through the forms that he's taken in the past during the summers, autumns, and winters of his life.

And then as a warrior made of ice and stone plunged his fist into the cliffside with the tree of knowledge seed inside, plucking time itself from the very air to speed its growth, leaving a full grown Arbutus knowledge tree on this cliffside, which was enough, surprisingly enough to get the council to stop fighting and just pay attention for a second. God, adults. Yeah.

So the council, uh, led by grim Shay asked for some time to deliberate very respectfully asked Billy for some time to deliberate on their decision, headed back down to the town, met shadow snout, uh, a raccoon line cook. Oh yeah. Yeah. Had some fish and then went down to the boats to talk to Perel about the revelation that Vings mother whose name now I realize we just don't know at all. Yeah. She adopted it. She adopted the name. Ileana, uh, was a wizard who was sheltered by the Ileana family.

Yeah. Yeah. She was a great help to Ving helping her survive the Exodus while she completed her work of perfectly replicating a human life in the form of her son thing. We don't even know if that was her work. That could have been a byproduct of what she was trying to do. Yeah, exactly. We also don't know if Vings dad is his dad or what the relationship there is now. Yeah. Just my mom's boyfriend. Yeah.

We just know that Ving was born of simply his mother, uh, and was created whole cloth out of the, the Sansa. Oh, yes. There's a lot of work. There's a lot of work. There's a lot of work. There's a lot of work. He's such a nerd. He's like, I'm going to go away and really try and remember that. Think so hard. Come back in a month. And Billy, who at some point felt like he wasn't welcome in the conversation, decided to go kick rocks on the beach. Well, they critique my grammar. Right.

I mean, I can't even read or write. So I'm doing my best. You can talk, though. Right. That was the conversation. Oh, because you were writing back to Farah to let her know the deal. Give her an update on all of this. Because these were some pretty big revelations. Yeah. You're telling me. How am I supposed to know that writing is just talking? Wait, you have to spell every word you talk? Yeah, it seems really tiresome. You know what? That's fair. It is very tiresome.

And during his rock kicking introspection, Billy heard a voice from a tuft of grass and found the strawberry spirit. Or strawberry. Fairy. Who has come to collect on his deal. And that is where we find our heroes now. Billy's got a strawberry fairy in his hands. I think he's a strawberry with arms and legs. That's all it is. I mean, I really could just eat you. Oh, I dare you. Well, I'm kind of scared of what would happen if I do. So just tell me what you want. I dare you. I want a flower.

Oh, what kind? I want a moon glow orchid. From the deepest cave on this island. Are you serious? I am serious. And that is our deal. You know those only bloom like. Tonight. I have so much to do. You must. I bring the strawberry up to eye level. I'm like, you, you know how important all this stuff is, right? We're watching him just talk to a strawberry. I still could just eat you. I dare you. I want you to. Do it. And he grabs like your eyelids and he pulls himself in close with your eyelids.

He goes, I dare you. Oh, I'm not going to because that's another stupid trap. That's what I thought. And he tosses your eyelids back and they go. All right. Guess I'm backed up into a corner. Crosses his little strawberry arms. Well, you're coming with me then because I have to tell my friends I'm going to go into a cave and you're not going anywhere. We didn't say that. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry.

Strawberry. Strawberry. And the vine shot out. Oh, yeah. Well, I had to make a promise that I would do something for the fairy. But he didn't tell me what he wanted at the time. Anyway, he wants one of the moon orchids and they only bloom in the deepest cave. A moon orchid? Yeah. Do you know how hard those are to find? Yeah. So, Billy, are you telling us that you made a deal with Strawberry to help us when we were talking to the council and now we have to go get a flower for it? Yeah.

Was the flower dead to a strawberry fairy in the deepest cave? This is just how stuff works here. Okay. Do you hear Oleander snort to life? Hey. Hi. You guys going on a side quest? Yeah. Cool. Okay. He's back asleep. Should we tell Perel? Actually, you see Perel sitting cross-legged on a rock facing the water with his eyes closed and he's got his hands on his knees and he's kind of like twisting his torso. Like he's kind of gyrating his torso and he's breathing in this weird way.

Like he's sucking in and he's closing his eyes and he's like rubbing his forehead. It looks like he's trying to do something. Yeah. Bing, do you do stuff like that? Oh my God, no. Okay. If you ever see me doing that, call for help. If you ever see me doing that, fucking shoot me. Yeah. We should probably leave him alone. Yeah. Oh yeah. I'm comfortable with that. Yeah. I would be embarrassed if someone saw me doing that. Yeah.

It would be almost as embarrassing as if someone opened the door and you taking a shit consistently. That's not embarrassing. I'm just looking out for you. No, you're looking at me. There's a difference. And as you guys are walking away, you look back at Perel and it looks like he's lit that ion candle. Oh. He's got it in front of him on the rock. Oh, cool. All right. Terry the Strawberry Fairy. No, not Terry. Barry. Ted. Barry the Strawberry Fairy. Barry. Yeah. Where's this cave?

Wait, you can't talk to me. Hey, kid. What does your friend want? He wants to know where the cave is. Oh, well, it's through the woods, other side of the island, down by the water. Okay. The only thing is this part of the forest is a cave. Okay. Okay. This is dangerous. No, it's not. What do you mean? Yes, it is. You don't know. You don't live here. Well, I don't live here right now, but I used to. Well, this part of the forest is dangerous. He crosses his arms and goes, it's dangerous.

With what? Monsters. You wouldn't know because you don't live here. I do. How do I tell if Barry's lying to me? 2d6 plus wisdom. Nine. Nine. Oh, can we aid? Yeah, totally. Oh, wait. No, you can't. How would you be able to aid? Hey, can you threaten him with your muscles? I can threaten him with the spirit axe. Oh, yeah. And then I, like to talk, it just looks like Billy's talking to an actual strawberry. Yeah.

So he just takes TLC and he like takes the spike and he puts it really close to the strawberry. And he's like, if you don't fucking start talking straight and Tuck doesn't know if Billy is playing or if this is real. Yeah. Yeah. But he knows enough about Billy's life. He knows enough about Billy that he'll just play along just either to be a good dad or to like smooth over whatever Eldritch deal Billy made. Totally.

So he's like, I don't know what you're fucking playing at, but if you don't want to get spiked and then dipped in chocolate, then you're going to fucking start talking straight. You little bitch. You little Barry bitch. You guys are both just crouched down. I got my spear up in his business. He's just away from this. Strawberry screaming at him. Yeah. Do you know peanut butter? Because you're going to be jammed, mister. Yeah. All right. Somebody roll 2D6 post bond.

Have you ever had fucking ice cream? You would look good between chocolate and vanilla. Neapolitan, my friend, that is an unpopular flavor. Get ready to sit on a shelf for six weeks. Today is Monday, but one of us might be having a Sunday. Wow. This is a one. And that's a two. So I got four. So Tuck fails But Billy still gets a 7 to 9 And Barry goes He's just looking at the spike And Do TLC talk to him at all?

Yeah he doesn't like TLC TLC's like hey Billy you see TLC like Strut down the spike of the axe To try and get in Barry's face And they're just like what's up bro Fuck off They're dressed like the guys from Grease Just leather jackets Hey bro you better fuck off You better stop fucking with our bro You better tell us what's going on man Don't make us get off this axe I don't know what's going to happen to us if we get off this axe We're going to make sure that we fucking beat your ass first Dare me bro Dare me I dare you to dare me And Barry is just not impressed He's like yeah yeah fuck off you nerds Get out of here And then TLC get their feelings That's why it doesn't help I don't even I don't even want to talk to fucking Barry Anyways This is lame You're a nerd And Terry puts his hand on Chad's back And goes it's okay He was so dismissive And they Wink from sight as they pop back into their axe So you were trying to find out if Barry was lying Yeah He's like no it's really dangerous Over there And you can tell that he definitely thinks it's dangerous But he's hiding something Okay then well I guess I'll keep an eye out Stupid Let's go Alright We're gonna We're gonna undertake a perilous journey Okay Into the woods So remember there is a scout ahead and navigate I'll navigate the woods So it's 256 plus and 106 Intelligence It makes sense that Billy would scout ahead Yeah So 26 plus wisdom to scout ahead I got 9 Excellent 7 Okay So on the 7 to 9 choose one from the list below You get the drop on whatever lies ahead You discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain Make a capital D discovery Notice sign of a capital D danger The first one You get the drop on whatever lies ahead Perfect Ving you got a 9 Yeah So I choose one from the list below Okay so Billy is scouting ahead He's got Terry Or he's got Barry The strawberry fairy In his fanny pack And he's like yeah you gotta go this way Oh it's so scary out here Look out It's just dark Barry Oh but isn't the dark scary Not really What is the deal with this guy Pwning strawberry I think you're Barry I think you're just mad Because you picked a strawberry to inhabit When you could have been in it Yeah I like being a strawberry Are you sure Because you're acting really weird About this forest Yeah because it's scary Do you just want Are you just playing with me And then ahead in the forest You hear Who's there And you see Billy It's kind of dark But you can like squint Through the beams of light And you see what looks like A blackberry vine Is strung across the trail Ahead of you Oh no Okay so you're like So I tell I turn around like There's a trap And it's just The blackberry vine We have to just pretend To be surprised by it Wait what So The strawberry told you this Or the blackberry told you this I can just see it So I take a few steps And I go Oh no And you Do you deliberately trip over The blackberry vine Yeah Oh no I have fallen And I can't get up And a bunch of people Have blackberry vines Like wrap around Your legs and body Oh shit And a big group Of little blackberry fairies Run out of the woods And they go We got you We got you Tuck just slices Through the vines With his axe They go Ving forages the berries He thinks they're just berries Rolling into the path Whoa whoa whoa You don't want to eat those ones I won't eat them I was going to put them in a jar They won't like that Are these fairies Yeah Oh no Monsters And Billy you see them With their little blackberry hands They go like Ah And they're doing like Little claw hands And like growling at things We should probably run away From these big scary monsters Oh no Oh no Whoa And you guys start running Through the trail like Oh no Blackberries And you feel Barry Like chortling with laughter Yeah In your fanny pack You should have seen your face You guys are so scared But you realize As you're like running Through the forest Like oh no To really sell it You're like zigging and zagging Yeah And then Whoops You're lost Ah shit Ah shit Fuck Yeah What Where Where are we Well we're lost Because you wanted to play A stupid prank on us A prank Look we all love pranks Barry Okay It was pretty Good though right It was pretty cute You can see It's cute No sorry I meant it's It was really Overwhelming And shocking Yeah There we go Yeah Nice I look at Tuck like Oh my god And then Tuck goes Yeah totally And he doesn't know What the fuck he's talking to So he's like Yeah totally It's overwhelming and shocking I'm so scared Of those blackberries And Barry goes like Yeah Like he pumps his fist We did it But We are Lost for real So Yeah Whoopsies Can I discern realities To try and find a way To get back to the path Yeah totally 2d6 plus wisdom Here we go Let's look around 10 Okay Three questions Off the discern realities list What here is useful Or valuable to me You Are like Kicking around At the ground Like where the fuck Are we And you find Fairly quickly A pile of Like sliced Blackberry vines Oh okay Like oh we just went Fully in a circle Yep And here we are Oh And there's a pile of blackberries Near the base of a tree That Billy can hear laughing Uproariously Oh my gosh Yeah These berries are real Cut ups huh It's been a long time Since I've been here And I forgot how many Games they like to play Look at how annoying All the things are Are these all summer fairies These are spring fairies These are spring fairies Yeah The mischievous Trickster ones Those two are summer fairies And these two berries Just bumping up And rolling around There's two There's two kiwis Just smashing Yeah and then it goes To like Do do do do do Like slow motion Them rolling together Down a hill Man Billy I thought you were like Kind of like Immature sometimes But seeing you next To these guys Like holy shit You're You're doing great You've got your shit together Thank you I work really hard To be a grown up That's kind of sad Cause you shouldn't Have to be a grown up Well what do you want Oh god And his shit Is not together Barry is hanging Out of the fanny pack He's like It's hey It's okay Billy No I just Try to help my friends And I'm like I'd actually get you A flower before midnight I Look I don't make the rules I know Wait what Yes you did Well no It's the law This is the law Of the land Do these guys Know anything about fairies You know when I make A pinky promise Yeah That's the same thing Wait What Like when I ask Can you tell us What's happening Oh sorry Billy did you make A promise like You made Irk promise you Yeah Are you gonna die If we don't get you This orchid Yeah Oh my Okay Before midnight One time Oh my god Whoa whoa whoa Tuck starts Freaking out Hold on Really you cannot Make those haphazardly Barry's waving His little strawberry arms No no no no no And Tuck Tuck can't see Barry But he leans Into the Strawberry And he goes If my kid fucking dies Because of this flower thing I am going to Put you Up my butt Dude No no no no You're not gonna die If you break The promise You're just gonna have To serve as my valet For two thousand years I will die Anyway so You can come with me Or not We're going Okay You have to find This fucking flower Like Tuck is sweating now No no no It's not that big a deal I'll find it I wanted you Spirit tongue to Talk to Creatures Animals of the night And see if they can Know where this cave is We've still got two more Questions on that Oh great Use them Do that first And then I'll ask My two questions I'm gonna go talk to These Moths over here That was so loud So loud That was like a goofy Like loony tune Style swallow Yep Yeah so you walk up To this moth Who's like chilling On the side of a tree It's wings open And it looks like two Like bright blue eyes Oh they're called Mimic moths And they mimic your face Oh yeah So it just Kind of has like a weird Moth pattern version Of my goofy face Yeah Like when it's closed When its wings are open Initially it looks like The tree bark And then it closes And opens And it looks like your face Yeah Cool I've heard of these Hi Hi Oh What Do you know of a cave Around here Oh sure Lots of caves What's the coldest Updraft you've felt On the other side Of the woods By the ocean Oh well you're gonna Have to roll For that one sailor Roll What are you What are you just asking Or are you offering Me something I'll give you This chunk Of gold What What is it I'll give you this Sea of graves Jar It closes Its wings close And open And then it looks like Raucous waves Cool Not interested What about this Earring I have It closes And opens And looks like A man being eaten By a golden crocodile Oh my god Not interested You have Endless Knowledge of the things In my backpack Can it like connect To like the spiritual essence Of these objects And see its history I don't know Okay Never really thought about it Okay 2d6 plus Intelligence to Spout Lore About mimic moths Okay Dear lord of flame Please help me As I try to Spout Lore With intelligence Eight So Interesting but not useful You have heard stories Of these moths People used to Come to them For glimpses of their future Whoa Whoa But they don't Appear to be Like from what you From what the stories tell They're not like Intelligent Or magical Well I mean like People consider them Kind of magical But They're sort of a mystery Oh In terms of what they do Cool Yeah And then Tuck takes out The puzzle box That he's been carrying around For five seasons And he like holds it up And he's like So how do I do this?

It closes and opens And looks exactly like The puzzle box you're holding And Tuck's like Fuck And he throws it In his backpack I'll never figure This thing out What's his problem? Uh he wants to figure A thing out Oh yeah? What Do you desire? I don't know What you got Like something sticky Do you like honey? What Yeah Oh You got honey? This whole time You've had honey? Yeah I've got some In my poultice kit I use it As a salve 2d6 plus Uh Parley?

Charisma to parley Okay Four Give me All the honey you have And I will tell you Of this cave Oh what? Three poultices?

Yeah Let Just hand it over bro Give me that Sweet sticky honey Okay Here you are Great creature of the night It extends its little Moth proboscis Delicious All right So the moth closes its wings And opens And shows you like A cliffside With like A sea spray Crashing up the rocks And then Uh closes And opens again And like pulls back And it starts to show you Like A path Through the forest Basically With this like Open and close Kind of flip book Style of travel Cool If you go that way To the cave You shall be Led To The cave Cool This guy's getting drunk Of this honey For sure This shit is so good You brought me The best Oh my god I gave him milk Of the poppy instead Man you got any more of that?

Like pop Poppy honey Yeah So yeah That's what I'm gonna And then it closes And opens again And it looks like Two closed eyes And then it closes And it looks like There's a snot bubble Coming out of the nose And it starts to just Sleep And then it closes And it opens up And it's a blinking 12 And then it closes And it's a blinking 12 Yeah Yeah Let's go I think I got it Yeah You kind of got like An idea of the path You're supposed to take Okay So as we're following This path I'm gonna ask my last Two distant realities questions What Should I be on the lookout for?

You are walking And keeping an eye on the path Trying to make sure You don't get lost again Or that any other Fruit doesn't try and Stray you from the path Yeah And you see In the mud What looks like Half a track Of some kind And Tuck goes Shh Stop What?

Abdul's holding up his fist And his arm at a right angle I skid in the mud And fall on my back I walk into his fist Breaking your own nose Alright let's Just roll Two damage You take seven damage Okay Two Two armors So I took five You're You're willingly Taking five damage For a bit Well I mean I walked into his fist Tuck Tuck breaks your nose No that's my fault I should have been looking out Blood pouring down your face Tuck drops down to one leg And he looks He's like There's a track here It's a half a track Yeah And then he Puts two fingers in it And he tastes it It's wide And deep A giant padded Foot of some kind Let me look Is it a cougar?

It tastes like a cougar It's bigger than a cougar Can I discern the realities Of it? It's no labber Well we're still We're still doing this We're still doing this We're still doing Discern realities We got one more question Yeah Whoops We're in the middle of it So that was What should I be on the lookout for? So this is like Some kind of big cat It's what's It's wide Wide wide And like Deep claw marks Like a bear?

A bear sounds like A wide claw mark one Deep claw marks Cougars don't Cats don't walk With their claws out What is about to happen? So Ving You look closer Knowing more about The natural world And you're like Yeah that looks like A big fat paw Um The claws Something's off About the claws Though And you realize They don't look like claws They look like talons Oh And in the trees You hear What is There's something Moving through the trees Uh We should get off this path Yeah Oh A big owl?

Is it a griffin? Owl griffin Owl griffin Whoa Maybe it's some kind of like Dinosaur of some kind Owl griffin What is that? Oh my god It could be part stegosaurus Or part pterodactyl Maybe it's like Like a big woolly mammoth No they don't have talons You guys are making So many wild Leaps of logic While they do that Can I Um Can I See what it is?

Yeah somebody Yeah you can Spout Lore Yeah I'll Spout Lore 2d6 plus intelligence Seven Seven So Uh Billy you've heard Stories Uh huh On the island When you were Much much younger And also much much older Of The varying beasts That exist in Places like this With wild connections To the natural world And the fairy And the spirit realm There's only one animal That this could be The fearsome Owl bear Oh no Crash crash crash And then right behind you Like out of the trees This huge Bear like body Plumed in like Dark brown feathers With the head Of a Screech owl A huge sharp beak And massive claws Is it on all fours Or up on its hind legs?

It's up on its hind legs Right now And it makes a crazy Like screeching Growling roar Shit My hair's Blown back By the sound Yeah I don't even know How to make the noise Besides like Roar Woo Um And it's It's getting ready To attack What do you do? Well now I will not be surprised Oh yeah Yeah I will shoot first I always forget about that Yeah So what does Billy do?

I will roll fairy dust 2d6 plus charisma 10 Fuck Holy shit So you choose two Uh It affects A group of people They stay asleep For a good amount of time And you can do it From a distance Uh They stay asleep For a good amount of time Yeah And I Like I scream Uh huh And it kind of Explodes out of me Whoa Like a big puff Like I'm a A mushroom Like a mushroom's force It's like A shockwave Yeah Yeah Yeah So the owl bear Is up on its hind legs And goes like Oh Woo And then the Dust hits it And it goes Shockwave Oh Oh You know Wobbles back and forth And then Goes down on all fours And starts to snore Huh Well Good work Billy Thanks I did Pee myself Yeah Tuck's like Yeah that must be embarrassing For you That you did that Why would you say that to me?

You know how sensitive I am But When I have Pee pee pants And then Tuck's like I pissed myself too Billy Well you should have told me that first I said I pissed myself too But I'm wearing a kimono And a loincloth underneath So it just went straight down Okay You're wearing a kimono Underneath your loincloth?

Yeah I'm wearing Oh the kimono over Over the loincloth You're still wearing the kimono Yeah it looks good Yeah it does Silky Excellent Yeah Um Barry As you're walking away Now that you've put this Massive owl bear to sleep Goes What'd you do? I don't know I just made it go to sleep Cause I got scared That's Is Is that something that you do normally? Who do you normally do that to? Like anyone Who's threatening Like people?

Yeah That might not last very long On this thing I know That's why we have to go Yeah no I'm just I just wanted to make sure That that was on the table Sort of like a Chekhov's gun Kind of thing Let's go You guys head off Into the forest Yeah Yeah Tuck Picks up Billy And Ving I guess And starts running Cause he's getting Stressed That his kid is gonna Fucking die I'm running in the air Yeah Um We are You don't have to roll Navigate But we're in kind of The last Like another leg Before you get to The cliff side So we're gonna At least need to roll A scout ahead Tuck's gonna scout ahead Cause he's the one That's carrying everyone And running Perfect And he's trying He's opening his eyes So wide And his nose To try and smell And see all of the things He's just opened his mouth And he opens his ears Really wide You can feel them open All your senses Are on high alert Yeah All your orifices Gaped Gaping My Your dick hole My dick hole is huge Huge My My!

My butthole is huge Is gulping air No!

Your pores are wide Like a bottle That's all I'm saying Alright Roll Two six plus Two six plus wisdom For scout ahead Ten Oh wow Wow So you get two from this list I wanna get a shortcut And I wanna get the drop On whatever the fuck's coming up Okay Cool And Tuck's pounding Through the woods right now Like running so fast and hard Yeah totally You are running so fast And so hard That it's so fast and hard But Tuck as you sprint Through the woods You see in the path Directly in the path A bush And Billy you hear From the bush Raucous laughter Is it the blackberries again?

No Tuck there's a bush In front of you I jump it Okay Do I have to stop Billy?

No you can just keep going Yeah I'm gonna jump it Just the blackberries Two d six plus strength Twelve Okay Yeah just amazing hurdle Yeah Tuck is running Thumping through the woods Jumps over this bush Like a hurdle And you hear the laughter As he's running up And then as you jump over You see a bunch of raspberries In the bush And they go Oh man Try harder next time You hit the dirt And keep running And you know Thirty seconds later You come out Onto the cliff side Ah this is the spot And here's the shortcut Tuck jumps Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter L Well, that's good that it was plus strength because this is four, so I got seven.

Wow. Okay. Lucky, lucky. If you hadn't said the axe thing, that would have been fucked. Well, that would have been just me jumping off a cliff with my two best friends. That would have been all of us, all your friends jumping off the bridge. And that would have been the last episode. Okay. So clue me into the logistics of this. So Ving is on my shoulder, like chicken fight style. He's like clambered up. Okay. And he's like, his legs are like dangling down next to me. And I put Billy in my beard.

So I have both hands free. Great. And then it's like I swan dive out over the edge. And as like I just clear the edge, I grab the axe, chop backwards and cut into like the edge of the top of the cliff. Yeah. And then that flips me down and I hit with my feet on the side of the wall and then just start like walk repelling that. Not even just like skidding. Like, like I'm going down the side of a, like a railing with my feet. Yeah. It's sliding. It's like an anime slide. It's a real anime move.

That's so cool. And you're sliding so cool. The only problem is that it's not a flat cliff side. It's like a tumble of rocks. So every once in a while you go like seven extra feet so fast. Okay. But no, you're fine. Oh, wait, no, you got a seven to nine. Yeah. Should I roll for damage? Yeah. Go ahead and roll a D six. Four. Four. Okay. Yeah. So you land on your knees and they hurt really bad. Oh, did you land on your knees? Don't say anything. Oh, not his knees.

It's the kind of pain that like tuck just like gets really quiet and presses his face into the ground like this. Like an ostrich hiding from the pain. Face first into the ground. The kind of pain where if anybody says a word to you, you're going to lose it. Oh, things like. Oh man. Those honey. Eight, five, three fives would really come in handy right now. Yeah. And you feel a cold cave air wafting up from this yawning portal in front of you. I can smell the sap and the orchids. Yeah.

We're so close. Barry's like, I can already taste it. Why do you make such gross sounds about this flower? Because it's going to be delicious. Oh, I thought you just like wanted it to bring home. Oh no, I'm going to eat it. Okay. Well, I'm going to light a little willow the wisp. Sweet. Is it the wicker cat? Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to roll. Remember for bill of the wisp. Right. So, uh, meow. Little like cat jingle jingle fades into view. All right.

Ving has a silver gauntlet that I took from Lillian's tomb. Yeah. And, uh, it glows like the knife. And now that he's like the moon, the moon thing. So cool. Guys, check this out. I found out. That my, uh, old gauntlet glows now. Oh, cool. Right. Look at this. Woo. Woo. Uh, yeah. And there, it's a, a cave goes down pretty sharply. Um. Yeah. I skid a lot. It's kind of icy down here. Yeah. Oh. Oh yeah. I mean, it's cold. It makes sense, I guess. Hopefully there's no cave bears, guys.

I would like to roll, uh, crap expert. Nice. Nice. Yeah. I would just take case. Yeah. Well, seven, seven. So you get one question. Okay. Um, is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? Yes. And entering the cave. What? No. Sorry. Yeah. We're in it. Well, basically the trap is not a trap trap. Um, it is that something definitely lives here. Ving like smelling the air. You can smell over the like cold salt sea air that yeah, there's definitely like animal smells in this cave.

It smells like a pollution has been living in here for a long time. Really? Yeah. Well, that sort of smell. Oh my God. Uh, so yeah, you, you know that there's something alive in this cave. And Billy thinks it's the pollution for sure. Can we maybe like trick it into coming out? Yeah. Bait it out. I bait it out. What do we have? Spirit tongue. Oh yeah.

Um, for the purposes of spirit tongue, it might be kind of broad because I think for Ving to talk to something like that, he has to know what he's talking to. Can he do a discern realities to figure out? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Yeah. Perfect. Okay. Two D six plus wisdom. Nice. I got eight. All right. One question. Who's really in control here. So you, uh, walk down the cave mouth a little bit more and, uh, you see ahead of you like light.

And as you get closer and you realize that, uh, whatever light is outside combined with the light that is on you guys is like illuminating ice that's in the walls that is carrying the light further into the cave. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So pretty yeah it's very it's a beautiful like ice cave which is when you see leavings of the beast that lives in here poop yeah or like you know bones or whatever kind of detritus what animal is it like a what animal is the bone the bones no beyond what kind of bien animal is here you guys tell me you guys a tip actually that I'm asking yeah ving like based on what you find what animal lives in this cave maybe it's a lunar bear oh lunar bear that makes sense it would be they guard they find the caves that makes so much sense because it's a moon flower right yeah yeah they grow out of their dung oh yeah that makes sense that does make sense okay so yeah this is definitely a lunar bear cave haunt okay so yeah this is definitely a lunar bear cave haunt of some kind and what is a lunar bear again it is a large I was gonna say it's like like a sun bear who has like the orange triangle I was gonna say it's a white triangle but I think it's a white bear with a black triangle like a crescent maybe on his chest yeah I thought a crescent either like a black bear with a white crescent or something yeah there's like a new moon bear yeah cool yeah oh they they can come in like different phases of the moon yeah maybe depending on the season their fur changes yeah or something and they mean different things when you see them according to the alienas and down here they're all synced up yeah fuck me but yeah you know that um especially on the new moon which is tonight um moon bears are particularly uh territorial so whatever is in here might be dangerous yeah unless I can trick them yep because I have the light of the moon oh yeah I can bring the light of the moon and keep them calm because I'm I'm not going to be able to do that I'm not going to be able to do that I'm not going to be able to do that the full moon nights lunar bears are docile like that makes sense they soak it up it's like a lizard on a hot rock that's sick yeah that's great so I'm gonna uh roll 2d6 plus wisdom for full moon powers you're making that up what is your elementalist move oh yeah elemental mastery elemental form right oh yeah I'll transfer my body into a form made from the raw elements sweet roll con nice eight to hold and what is your moon form um my moon form is my self it's thing but just bathed in moonlight yeah super moony it's cool yeah little craters wait highlighting all of his old acne scars yeah I guess so yeah um and like it looks like yeah he's slightly bigger he's just like fluffy because it's like blurry with moonlight yeah and billy you hear sparkling you hear barry and your fanny pack go wow he's the spirit walker wow stay behind me let's go yeah and you carry on down the cave there's a crazy amount of elevation in here you know there's like an elevated uh walkway that like sinks down into like a huge depression and then arcs up and around to a totally different like cave section cool and there's a lot of like like like like like like like like like like there's just this brilliant blue ice carrying this light now brighter than ever with the living moon man inside oh oh man really cool because you know typically if you're hiding from a creature scary animal you'd want to hide in the dark but if you're hiding from a lunar bear you hide in the light yeah it's pretty cool oh yeah ving has light sight so I can it's like yeah makes tracks with his light sight yeah that's sweet that's cool and also it makes sense that the lunar bear would be down there and then you'd be like oh yeah I'm gonna go down there and then because then on nights where the full moon is is happening he's like getting the full dose yeah yeah oh that's great um yeah and you carry on down this cave um it's not terribly perilous uh the steps are pretty easy to navigate especially since there's more light than you could ever fucking hope for in this cave now nice you've basically figured out the perfect way to complete this part of the journey yeah I'm scouring the ground looking at any poop piles for the for the orchid and there are a ton a ton of orchids ton of poop piles okay oh don't do that tuck yeah this is poop yeah I mean ving already told us what else could it be tuck said leavings I didn't know exactly what it meant but it's for sure shit yeah so you are bathing this cave in moonlight checking these poop piles as you walk by um and you're noticing they're pretty big this is a lot of pretty big sizable poop piles and as you get to the end of the cave you're like oh my god I'm getting tired of this this is a lot of poop piles and as you get further into the cave they get bigger whoa oh must be a big bear I guess how big like man's size oh my god sean's putting his arms out like a like a volkswagen beetle is this bear okay there's like a bunch of burger king rappers all over the place oh my god I think he's got ibs and you uh you're you're getting close to some sort of uh some sort of opening in the bottom of this deep deep cave as you go down and down far past the water level you start to feel air rush past you and then rush back into the cave and then rush past you oh wait rush back into the cave in there they're breathing oh no that's the breath of the bear that's incredible you walk through into this massive cave like a hundred foot high ceiling this huge dome and an absolutely colossal bear like I know that I'm an animal but big guy but this bear is fucking huge like a hundred feet tall kind of thing yeah like a like a kaiju bear and it's all curled up and it's snoring away uh you see the crescent moon on its back um it's like brilliant white fur with this like midnight black crescent moon on its back and it seems to be dead asleep and far on the other side of the cave on a huge pile of shit you see a single bright white orchid wow okay how big is the orchid the orchid's fairly small yeah orchid sized for sure it it grows in like a spiral of circles that are slightly translucent whoa like the petals are slightly translucent but they do glow bright nice cool yeah you can see it it's like kind of like bing bing like it's a little light bulb on the other end of the cave okay we just got to get around this giant bear I guess and your hair's like ruffling in the wind as it breathes in and out yeah I'm just gonna hold my breath and like keep keep my will-o-the-wisp really close to me so roll defy danger dexterity everybody all of us anybody that's trying to get to the other side of the cave okay and we're all going together 10 10 8 okay you're walking along the edge of this cave over the bear who's still quite close to you in this deep deep cave and uh you're walking along breath billy and tuck having a grand old time somehow billy is at in his element tuck is uh pressed as close to the wall as possible knowing if he gets even a little bit closer to the edge he's gonna fall yeah tuck his uh is facing into the wall pretending he's the wall and ving he remembers that his mom's cloak she had a cloak of like polar bear that there was a uh a little crescent moon shape oh on her sometimes and you're overcome with that memory of your mother uh when you step just a little bit too close to the edge and a rock gives way and you stumble and you start to fall over the cliff side what do you do okay 2d6 plus dexterity uh six I aid yeah and yeah billy's got shoot first so he's like not surprised yeah nine nice okay that makes it a seven which means that um yeah you snap your hand out grab on to ving billy grabs onto ving's shoe yeah and you are hanging out over this yawning chasm with this enormous bear underneath you look back and you see that it's like head is right underneath where you are it's huge like like fortress sized head and uh you're looking at your backpack as you see a little vial of uh healing herbs start to slide out of the pocket my backpacks are so big I'm so scared of them I'm so scared of them I'm so scared of them I'm so scared of them Backpack?

Of Ving's backpack. You can see it's sliding out of his bag. Actually, I don't have any poultices left. Good point. That's a great point. Okay, so you're leaning back and you see your spear starts to slide. Or the child's nightmare. It goes into the bear's mouth. You see a vial start to slide out of your backpack and the label reveals itself slowly as it says, a child's nightmare. The doll is pushing it out. Up her back. This is not. You cut inside the backpack.

You guys can't see it, but the doll is like, he, he, he, he, he. That's so funny. So it's a seven to nine. So you can still roll to catch it. Huh? Yeah. Okay. And then he lightens a feather. I'm going to, it's too late. The liquid's dropping. I'm going to use my light of the feather to go under and catch the liquid. I'll take the nightmare. Okay. Sounds good. So I got 10. Oh, okay. So you, you like swing. Underneath the nightmare as it's falling. Being held by your pants and shoes.

Like your toes are gripping onto the cliff above you. Basically. Catching the child's nightmare in your mouth. Just in time. Oh, and it tastes like a big dog that chased you up the stairs of your house. One time. Yeah. He knocked open the door. He chased me outside. Yeah. Bit me in the butt. Oh my God. I thought I was going to die until that next door lady picked me up. But yeah, the nightmare has been averted momentarily. As tuck. And. Billy haul you back up to the cliffside. Thanks guys.

I want my mom. And he starts sucking his thing. What is happening to me? Billy pulls the little blue blanket out from under his shirt and offers it to Bing. Thank you. Can we please turn the light on? He's glowing. Here, why don't you take Wicker the light. Oh, thank you. Oh god, I'm sorry. Irrationally terrified right now. Irrationally terrified. 100 foot bear. This one's from the inside out. I can't rationalize this part. You're being so brave. Thank you.

Anyway, I hurry over to the poo pile and I pick that orchid. The thing with moon orchids, moon glow orchids is if you want the glow to remain, you have to really dig the roots out. So your hand is going far in this poo. I'm doing this for you, Barry. And I hate it. Oh man, I can already taste it. You're not going to get that smell out for a week. Yeah. And you pluck the orchid. And he reaches out his little strawberry hands and he's like, gimme, gimme, gimme. Okay, hold on. Here you go.

And he takes it and he rips the roots off and he throws them and he just Like, you just strawberry down this flower? He eats it so fast. He eats it so fast. Thanks. You're welcome. Let's go back. Yeah, let's get out of here. He's like rubbing his like strawberry gut now that he's got this like big belly. He's got his legs kicked over the side of the fanny pack and he's just like, hmm. Thank you, friends, for risking your life for me. No problem, buddy. Yeah, Billy.

Next time, don't make one of these promises that will kill you. Okay. Don't promise. Strawberry that you're going to be a slave for 2,000 years or whatever. I didn't know. I didn't know. Are you sure this curse is gone? Yeah, it's gone. Yeah, no, our deal has been completed. And I want to say, not slave, valet. Just getting that out there. It's the same thing. Yeah, it was kind of involuntary servitude for sure. You make it up pretty easily back to the cave and you're standing at the water side.

Are you just heading back up? Yeah. I don't want to go through the forest though. I'd rather just walk along the cliffs. Maybe we'll see some runes. Why don't you want to go through the forest? Well, because you put all those traps in there and the owl bears in there. Oh, but you put it to sleep. What if they're, what if they're, Billy? What? And he kind of gestures you down. Yeah. So you're basically just bending at the waist so you get closer to the fanny pack. I can't bend that far.

What if there are owl bear eggs in there? In the forest? In the forest. In the forest. In the forest. In the forest. In the forest. In the forest. In the forest. In the forest. In the forest. It's asleep. You could take one. If you keep talking to me about this, I'm going to leave you on the cliff. Okay. All right. Okay. All right. I was just trying to, just trying to let you know about an opportunity. You do it your way. Actually, you know what?

And he gets out of the fanny pack and he walks on his little strawberry legs and he goes, you have completed our bargain. He's got his arms up in the air. Do you really want to stay here or are you just going to make your way back on your own? Oh, I'll be fine. And you see, a strawberry vine, like wending its way down the rock and he goes, I'm good. And he grabs onto it and he starts getting pulled back up the cliff side. So you could have done this yourself the whole time. Oh yeah.

But this way is more fun. See you later. Piece of shit. Barry, the strawberry fairy is gone. I'm going to get him back someday. And now you guys are at the water side. So your plan is to go along the shore instead of back through the woods. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. We're going to try and read some of the ruins and see what we can glean from the history of this island. Yeah. If we can, if we can find a knowledge tree, we can maybe, that'd be good. Yeah. Check out some of the ruins. Okay.

I think, you know, the coast is a little bit, you know, sort of where on the island you are. So you're not going to have to do like a, undertake a perilous journey again, especially if you're just looking for one of the trees that are on the forest, but you're going to have to do that. You're going to have to do it to find a true wisdom. Okay. Do we all roll? No, it just would be like the, the, the person that's leading this hunt. Basically. I'll leave the hunt. Cool. Duty six plus whiz. Okay.

I got an eight. All right. Partial success. So you're walking along, um, you know, on the breakwater. Yeah. When you're walking down on the bricks closest to the sea, it's like that. You're like stepping over huge gaps. There's, there's water spray, uh, coming up at you from the cold ocean. Underneath. It's not a very comfortable walk. There's nowhere where you can just stride at your comfortable pace.

Night weasels, like ducking in and out of rocks, fucking night weasels, just peeking in and darting. You can hear them chittering away in the, in the cliffs, tuck your walking. And, uh, you realize that you've been walking for a while and there's been a, you thought it was Billy, like messing around in your bag. And then you re you hear Billy, uh, shift in your beard and you go, Oh, Billy's in my beard. What the fuck's back here? What the fuck's back here?

And you turn and there's a night weasel on your backpack. Holy shit. And it's got something in its little mouth and it starts to dart away. What did it steal from you? Alison scarf. Oh, it's got Alison scarf and it's running off into a cliff. What do you do? I chased it. Okay. Defy danger. Dexterity. Come back here. You Weasley. Fuck shit. Three. No. Plus what? Plus zero. Oh my God. So it darts off into the, into the rocks with Alison scarf. No. Bring that back. I yell at him and weasel.

It says no. And it's gone. It talks like digging around in the lake rocks that it kind of like went into. Yeah. It's a, it gets like these burrows are a lot deeper than you think. They go into the hillside. Basically. Fucking son of a bitch. It's gone. I'm sorry, man. It's okay. Maybe we'll find another scarf. Whatever. It doesn't matter. I mean, she left one. I'm sure there's another one. No, it doesn't matter. She left scarves everywhere. It doesn't. I don't care. It doesn't matter.

Somebody's birthday is coming up. It's fine. She, I don't care. So I look at, I look at being, he cares a lot. Yeah. You really like that scarf. Chuck runs down the beach. Arms at the side. Yeah. He did. He did spend like 250 coins on this scarf. Basically. Oh yeah. Fuck. Yeah. That's why Bing's upset. Cause it's like a nest egg scarf. Yeah. That was her retirement. That was her retirement scarf. Yeah. When Tuck hears Billy say he cares a lot. He's like, no, I don't. He runs away.

But about, you know, um, I'd say 45 minutes later, you guys catch up with Tuck. He's just running away. He's just moping now next to you, but you find kind of growing on the cliffside, gripping onto the rocks, but towering into the sky, a knowledge tree that looks like, um, a Douglas fir, a pine of some kind. Sure. Pine. Sure. Pine. Oh, it's hanging. Is it like curving off the cliff? Yeah. It's like curving off and up. Wind wisped. Yeah.

But you see like a language, not even carved, but like grown into the bark. Can we read it? We can read it. Yeah. This is the kind of thing where with like the help of Bing and Billy, uh, I'd let you all roll the spell or if you want. Yeah. Cool. Fun. Nice job Tuck on finding this tree. Tuck is, uh, his face is really puffy for no reason. For no reason. And he's just like, yeah, I totally, totally found it and it's great. And I'm proud of myself. Uh, let's read it. Do you want a second?

Uh, so yeah. What is something Druidic that you are, uh, looking for? So let's start with, uh, Jessica. I see her rolling. What is something you're trying to learn? I guess like specifically I'm looking for the name Ileana or, um, something like that. Totally. Uh, Billy doesn't really know what else to look for. Oh, four, four. Okay. Mark an experience there. Uh, so you're looking for the name Ileana, uh, but you get distracted. Yeah. Because you find the word chocolate.

I mean, maybe you do find references to like a food. Yeah. I find the word bread and then the word butter. So I, at first I was going to move on to the word bread, but then I saw butter. And so I was like, I have to know what comes next. I will, I will find the stuff about Ileana, but this seems important too. So you find references to, um, uh, a cooking practice. That's also combined with like kind of a folk magic thing called star butter.

And it's the idea of you make butter and then you set it outside on a clear starry night. And, uh, supposedly the pure light of the moon and stars, uh, purifies the butter and makes it taste even more delicious. Oh, and it's also a way to preserve the butter. So it lasts longer. This is fascinating. Wow. And they even give you the recipe for it and the recipe for the bread takes like, there's this version that takes a long time to make. So you have to like need it for a long time and ferment it.

There's a, there's also a kind of, there's a specific kind of bread they make using starlight butter. That's traditionally for a festival held at like the height of winter. Uh, that's called, um, turnover. Cause it's the turning over of the year. Oh, when the light starts changing. Yeah. And there's so many fillings you can have in the turnover. You can have an apple turnover. You can make savory turnovers with salmon and trout. That's yummy. That actually sounds great. Wow.

And this one, you can make a custard turnover. I love custard. We're all on this. Yeah. I love this tree. The gravy. They have a gravy turnover. I'll be here for a bit. I hope we all fail. Um, this recipe tree. All right. Uh, so you get a point of experience for that. Weirdly enough. Uh, okay. Ving, what's being looking for? Uh, he's looking for mentions of the Ranger King. Oh yeah. Ooh. Uh, plus intelligence. I got a six. Okay. So I also get an experience. Yeah.

So you're looking for the Ranger King, but instead you find information on lunar bears, lunar bears. Uh, so yeah, you find references to, to lunar bears, which apparently used to be, uh, quite prominent in the world. Like it was, they're not just a hibernia thing, but there are stories of the great bear, uh, somewhere in this island chain that represents kind of a God of the land. Uh, and was like an old, like minor deity basically. Oh, cool. And it said, does it speak of its name?

The great bear. Um, which actually, interestingly enough, you realize, uh, phonetically translated from the Druidic language sounds a lot like Ileana. Cool. Um, but you do find that, uh, you know, stories like, Oh, one day this bear is going to grow so large that it's going to eat the moon and it's going to replace the moon. This bear will be the moon one day. Cool. Huh? Yeah. But I'm the moon right now. Oh no. That bear got so much closer to its goal than it even thought. Cool. Yeah.

Uh, what else about lunar bears? Gotta be something else in there. Ooh, they were hunted pretty extensively because their pelts were thought to have a magic abilities. Oh yeah. Um, there were people that weren't druids or shape shifters that sought them because they thought they would help them take the form of the bear and fight with their ferocity. Oh, cool. Yeah. So they were hunted to near extinction by a group of people called berserkers. Wow. That's sad. Yeah.

There's a lot of like a very floral language. Uh, imbued in the tree, decrying the loss of the bear lamenting, uh, their absence on the, on the planet. It's really, really rare to get them to mate in captivity. Yeah. They mostly, it's really hard. You gotta like dress like a lunar bear and like slowly introduce them to other lunar bears. You gotta show them videos of lunar bears mating and be like, look, don't you want to do that? Doesn't this look awesome? Uh, yeah.

So you, that's, that's what you learn about lunar bears. Okay. Can't find any references to the Ranger King for some reason. Tuck, what's Tuck looking for? Um, he's sort of just actually looking for information about chimes and Lillian. Oh, interesting. He's, uh, guess chimes has been on his mind a lot since like, we kind of like found that like chamber in the, in the fort in the four frost aisles.

And since we found that beach with like, maybe he was on with his kid and his wife and like everything about being becoming like, I don't know, Lillian's chosen one or like connecting with, like her energy somehow. He's just like, well, I don't know anything about magic and I don't know anything about Rangers and I don't know anything about Lilliana, but I know chimes kind of, so I'm kind of interested in what's going on there. Okay, cool. Uh, then yeah, roll two D six plus intelligence. Seven.

Okay, nice. Oh shit. Six. Oh, wait, but don't I have that thing that if I, I roll about something that nobody knows about, I get a plus one. You're literally reading from a repository of stuff that other people know about, but the people aren't alive. Come on, man. Only the tree knows about this. Are you telling me trees? A book? Are you telling the worst argument I've ever heard?

Are you telling me that if you went to the library and you found a book full of information and you learn something, you'd be like, I discovered this. If you killed everyone in that lot, I thought it was like no one here present right now knows. I mean, I guess if, yeah, all right, I'll, I'll let you do it if you want to. I just want more info about chimes, so I'll push for this. I'll tell you this. You're not going to find info about chimes on this tree.

References to him will be scant because he's not somebody that the druids really were concerned with. Oh, right. That makes sense. Um, but you do find references to like, um, you know, the moon's lover, that kind of stuff. Okay. Um, vague references to a relationship that, you know, the man who, the man who married the moon, that kind of shit. But, uh, you do find, basically a record of a druid, much like the lunar bear lamenting the death of the moon.

The drew, there is a druid who references an event that is taking place during their lifetime that you realize through the things that you've learned, uh, is likely the grieving. Whoa. The druids were not involved. They chose not to be involved. Whoa. It was almost like a Jedi thing where they were like shaken by the amount of people that were involved. The amount of destruction and death like that they felt through the earth and through nature as the moon shattered and went mad. Whoa.

Um, and truly, truly thought that the end of the world had come, that this would, this would end everything, but somehow they protected themselves from the worst of it. Um, it sounds like they were able to make a pact of some kind. Um, it sounds like they were able to make a pact of some kind. With a powerful spirit. They're, they use words like veil. Oh, it's the gray. This is what, this is what happened. This is how they did the gray.

When the, when the grieving happened, they caused the fog wall to hide themselves and to shy away from the grief because they thought the world was ending. So they hid themselves away in hibernia and pulled the gray over the whole like Northern part of the world. That makes sense.

And then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, off from the moon oh right failing themselves from night like to do it used to be really into the stars yeah the references to star butter yeah those are those probably predate yeah the grieving it's something that they can't really make anymore sick all right cuz like the druids first language was written from the stars and the magic and that's extra sad cuz that cut themselves off from like the source of their knowledge for the night sky their culture yeah and that's probably around the time they became very like we have to protect our practices and wizards are evil and blah blah blah yeah they're getting more magi mm-hmm yeah so that's what you learn and as you're all standing like I think Billy is kind of on tuck shoulder like helping him read the parts about the the gray and the veil and then you hear footsteps in the trees behind you breaking twigs yeah breaking twigs rustling leaves but Russell is nowhere to be found Russell's on you pal and almost in response a black snout emerges from the underbrush revealing a hulking nightmarish blackford wolf with a dead snow owl clenched in his jaws rows of iron gray teeth black malicious eyes deepest pools of night row after row of arrows puncturing its bloody hide the sound of tucking Billy's laughter fades to silence and you are utterly alone and that's where we're gonna end it whoa what the dude pretty good good good stuff that was scary yeah I'm ready for a horror movie Halloween we're doing it just wrap it up already oh yeah I guess that's where we're gonna end it for this week I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz so long playing Ving the half-elf Druid Paul Loppers take care playing fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica tie hi everyone thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music incredible as always that you can listen to all of the music played on the show uh at just just Google Sound Cloud and Spout Lore that's the easiest way we've figured right now uh thank you to our patreon supporters supporting us around the world you can support us at patreon.com speltlord or speltlord.com money please or find us on the internet at Spout Lore most places and thank you finally to you for listening we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in the revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly be a part of a dream

Spout Lore is publicly funded by listeners like you go to spoutlord.com for more quality family programming like arthur and mr rogers neighborhood and get special limited edition pbs tote bags you hear that fred rogers we ripped off your shit and we put it on our patreon I we look we should talk a lot of people I will not stand for any mr rogers slander on this on this podcast gather round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tuck is the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight fingers have health he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great mind billy's a thief his tiny size does mask the largest heart best and brightest they may not be but their friendship outweighs their smarts so gather round friends and listen close for the tale's about to start you welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz hello everybody if anyone copies my cadence I'll fucking slit your throats he has a knife in front of him I believe him playing being the half elf druid Paul Oppers hi I'm playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie hi everyone it's myself oh there's a vein popping out of abdul's forehead and he's holding the knife jessica's vein is popping too she's copying when last we left our heroes they had gone on a strawberry adventure their their new friend uh slash antagonist minor antagonist bury the strawberry fairy led them on a merry whirlwind quest to the forests of hibernia uh there were tricks and traps aplenty as some blackberry bushes attempted to get one over on you and as far as you can tell that was the entirety of their plan you were of course on this quest to recover a moon glow orchid for berry who wanted it for some mysterious purpose he ate it he just ate it he gobbled it I was building up to something because we're doing a recap oh sorry I don't know what's such a mystery you're the one who said it anyone that cuts off my recap I'm gonna cut your fucking throat this is what happens when we don't let sean finish his dinner this is what happens when I have two-thirds of a coke zero zero tolerance right now and okay sure maybe half a liter of coffee earlier in the day not that much earlier not that much earlier uh your quest took you through the wooded sections of the main island in the chain known as hibernia uh and you were playing along with the blackberries and the strawberries as they attempted to hoodwink you uh these being fairies of course spring fae tricksters as we all know uh until you came upon the very real threat of an owlbear a fight which was initially very threatening and then billy put it to sleep and the fight was over yeah did we get any of those eggs no you never went back for the eggs we didn't get them yeah albert eggs wildly valuable also you know what I can tell that you guys are separated from the traditional rpg fantasy party because classic dnd adventurers would never be able to resist an owlbear egg there's just no way but you did and I respect you for that what is the thing that it does yeah what do they do usually people want an owlbear egg so they can hatch it and have a pet owlbear so oh yeah hold on so you wouldn't let us have black spire as a pet but we have an owlbear well I mean how I mean just because you have the egg doesn't mean you're going to be able to get a live owlbear off the island um also you went to a pirate port he would have been stolen from you post haste yeah um what next we entered the seaside cave that barry had led you to which was a beautifully like reflective crystalline ice cave beneath the island a pretty simple trek downwards to a cave that got brighter and brighter the further down you went eventually revealing the massive form absolutely colossal of an animal but big a lunar bear pretty cool a minor god of the land uh we soon learned and perhaps the last of its kind so lumbering peacefully beneath the island destined some stories have said to replace the moon one day whoa really I said that in the episode cool yeah the the legend surrounding lunar bears is that one day a lunar bear would get so big that it would eat the moon cool yeah yeah that's really cool pretty sweet uh but you know what hasn't happened yet and he's asleep so maybe it'll never happen uh and then bury the strawberry fair oh in an attempt to retrieve the orchid creeping around the moon and then bury the strawberry fair oh in an attempt to retrieve the cliff surrounding the lunar bear thing almost dropped a vial of a child's nightmare deciding instead to gulp down the nightmare to save the day my hands were busy yeah so you used your mouth that's what I love about thing yeah uh the day was saved the orchid was retrieved and barry ate it you uh emerged from the cave carried along the coastline hoping to find some ruins in the rocks and stumbled upon a new one and it was a very good day for me and I'm very happy to be here with you we learned about lunar bears and references to the man that married the moon and all that kind of stuff oh yeah um we learned that lunar bears have been hunted to near extinction by people known as berserkers and we learned about the moon and all that kind of stuff and we learned about the moon and all that kind of stuff and we learned about the moon and all that kind of stuff oh right yeah and we learned that during the grieving the druids of hibernia believed the world was ending and so made a pact with a powerful spirit to uh read the island in fog and hide themselves away from the apocalypse pretty cool and just as things were looking like a a peaceful night on the shore side reading books from a tree ving heard footsteps go and ruin it some serious scary seeing a night black wolf emerged from the forest a dead snow owl in its teeth and the sound deadening around him as he finds himself utterly alone and that is where we find ourselves now ving what do you do uh getting fun between tuck and billy and the wolf and brennish my spear uh you try and get between tuck and billy and you realize they are not there what and in fact the shore is not there you're surrounded by snowy forest oh it's the nightmare there we go in a nightmare do I know this no uh I don't know actually you know what defy danger wisdom okay I'm gonna roll these bone camel bone die that we got hell yeah that's too many from jesse there you go 2d6 plus wisdom okay yeah from a listener sent us uh carved camel bone dice thank you they're very nice 12 total wow damn uh yeah so a couple things lead you to this conclusion um oh yeah I drank a child's nightmare earlier today and also this is a nightmare you have had before I'm in my own child nightmare yeah this is a nightmare you remember having as a child oh my god is being being hunted by this nightmarish wolf but it's one of those nightmares and you're not sure if some of it is real yeah like was I maybe chased by a wolf at some point does this wolf represent something there's like muddled memories in your head that led to very real fears I'm sure we've all had that you have nightmares that you remember for the rest of your life and you don't remember if they actually happened to you or not how old was ving when he was having these nightmares as a kid I imagine quite young but I don't know for sure yeah I think like four or five what I I had a thought uh-huh knowing what we know about ving now and how he came to be um perhaps some of these images are preving are influenced by uh iliana's memories and thoughts and perceptions of say your father who was a blood-soaked warrior oh my god and I've had images of my mother as a snow owl because she yeah she recalls being a snow owl right in the in in season two and you had that dream where your dad killed your mom uh yeah ving had a nightmare long long ago yeah of his father murdering his mother but he saw it from his mother's perspective yeah and she was a snow owl then right yeah well yeah that makes actually yeah that makes a lot of sense makes a lot of sense ving has had dreams and nightmares that were recurring nightmares for his mom he always thought that he was experiencing them like she must have been pregnant or something maybe had some sort of sense beyond her body but no that he was now imbued with some of her memories pre himself because of how he was created yeah I tell the wolf he's not gonna hurt me it growls and hunches low and prepares to do just that I stand my ground it lunges I uh put a foot on my spear and lean back into it on the ground 2d6 plus constitution okay 10 so the wolf lunges towards you and your spear planted in the dirt which is this is my dream spear yeah so it is perfectly it's exactly as it was in my dreams my spear is unbreakable yeah so it's exactly as it was when you received it from your mother it's like it's still carved with like a dozen lives worth of names and memories but like it is not that like half material snapped different it's got the original head it's got the like um original body like it's just this beautiful old spear there's no duct tape on it yeah and um the wolf lunges towards you and your spear planted in the dirt is it just the right angle that it pierces itself through blood falling from its jaws and this gaping wound in its chest as it slavers in your face and then turns to smoke on the spear and disappears you hear howling in the woods and where's the owl the owl falls to the snow in front of you I grab it I cradle it lifeless my clutch I clutch it howling in the trees I push it up against my chest spread its wings around my neck you hear footsteps in the snow I turn slowly towards the footsteps jaws I let them take me all is black I hear weeping you wake up in the forest emerging from the underbrush a nightmarish black wolf iron gray teeth a dead snow owl locked in its jaws oh shit oh you are utterly alone I'm trapped with this wolf I tell it that it won't hurt me it hunches low and prepares to do just that I charge oh there's a moment when I my foot pivots the snow yeah slow motion all the snow fuck yeah moves so slowly I'm weaving in between the snowflakes for some reason hack and slash I break my spear on the way in there and come in on both sides I got five fuck you pivot the snow slows in the air you break your staff and prepare to come in on both sides the wolf lunges jaws all is black you wake in the forest emerging from the underbrush a nightmarish black wolf I yell for attack and billy give me a defy danger because you've realized this is a dream yeah so you're very aware you are out of control like you are not in control of the situation at all but you're aware that it's a dream so let's say 2d6 plus wisdom 10 the wolf hunches low emerging dead snow owl in its teeth row after row of bloody arrows in its pelt and you feel a familiar presence to your left and right tuck billy snowy forest nightmarish wolf thing holding his spear aloft tuck lunges and like grabs the wolf around its neck yeah like does a bear hug you know that thing where you like kill a dog by squeezing its neck oh yeah that thing from uh omega man or whatever oh uh I am legend I am legend yeah where he has to kill his dog so sad yeah uh 2d6 plus strength here we go shit nightmare five wow go ahead and roll um a d12 12 oh wow jesus fucking christ oh no 12 fucking hell so holy shit in the dream is it dream us or is it real us uh billy that's a great question go ahead and roll 2d6 plus wisdom oh those are cute I'm using the pretty dice that jesse sent us eight eight okay so billy you do realize that you are in a dream but um as far as you're concerned if this wolf kills tuck tuck is dead in real life that's what you're thinking right now is like yes 12 12 is a dream but also holy shit giant wolf attacking tuck as you see this wolf's jaws like clamp onto tuck's bicep and like rip back and forth tearing a bloody hole in his arm which arm uh his left one so he's fine don't worry you mean like I can still choke on which arm has the tree tattoo on it you tell me bro I think it's the right one I think it is yeah I seem to remember you always gesturing to your right arm yeah can I go in like into like instinctive billy like with that thought uh what do you mean like um because I'm on like hibernia I can change into different forms if I need to interesting this is dream space too so billy's like why can't I just do that give me a defy danger wisdom again okay huge humongous 12 oh shit okay what are you trying to do billy needs to like close that distance between himself and the wolf so he turns into like tree warrior billy oh shit are we talking like the winter yeah his winter form yeah so tuck you see a like a six six man of wood and ice with a giant axe of clear blue ice standing before you striding through the trees sick holy shit and what is billy doing I'm going to take my axe and swing it at the head of the wolf hell yeah hack and slash eight eight okay so um in your winter warrior form roll a d12 seven seven and then roll a d12 again two two okay so uh your axe cleaves down the light glittering off its ice and stone as it hammers into the back of this wolf's neck and poof it becomes ashes but as its ashes drift away they swarm around the wolf and it's like oh my god it's like a cloud of flies and you feel them going into your eyes nose mouth and you're just like choking on this burning ash for two damage and for a moment the wolf is gone you hear howling in the trees I'm so sorry I brought you here is this my nightmare are you guys here are you actually here we're here yeah I'm here I think you all feel the warmth and like gentle sonic ringing of the chamberlain rings on your hands oh fuck I'm so I love wearing this ring it just really goes with my coloring I should take it off when I sleep for this exact reason ving where are we I don't know what it looks like the shores of old sheer and I believe this might be a memory or a nightmare or my mother's memory or nightmare this wolf is death coming my father and the owl is my mother and he's gonna keep coming wow classic edible shit your dad's gonna keep coming I have to have sex with the owl I don't know if I can do this ving I'm willing to do anything for you buddy I'm gonna try and fuck that wolf I'm gonna break the cycle this nightmare is gonna give me nightmares yeah how do I face this that's a great question what usually happens in the dream I get killed do you usually wake up when you die uh yeah usually we're caught in a cycle I've died twice already it almost killed you your bicep yeah this is uh I'm bleeding a lot yeah this usually doesn't happen in dreams uh-huh well I mean I assume usually dreams are about the one thing right yeah usually dreams are about a giant cataclysm that destroys an island nation for me yeah quiet everyone billy's listening and you both look over and oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die oh yeah who the fuck is this holy shit billy whoa don't talk bill are you okay billy's listening yeah billy's listening uh and also this isn't really like young billy right now yeah this is like warrior billy yeah roll a 2d6 plus wisdom for uh discern realities five ah shit all you can hear in the trees is footsteps panting breath like dozens and dozens of forms moving through the woods stop at you too there are too many footsteps I'd run into the woods okay where are you trying to go to the footsteps they're all around you'd it'd be harder for you not to go to the footsteps right now oh okay so you charge out into the trees if that is what you so choose to do yeah I charge into the middle and uh light myself up in the light of the full moon um he's my moonlight as a beacon to try and draw them in yeah or to communicate I don't know what to do I don't know what uh because we're doing dream stuff 2d6 plus wisdom 11 okay great nice yeah you start running into the trees uh you know row after row of nearly identical forest until things darken around you as the light reflecting off the snow fades away and you come into a clearing with just the pure pitch black of the night sky above you the trees are silent the footsteps still approaching and a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman runs towards a woman runs towards a oh 12 okay he's bone dice hell yeah uh what's the 12 with that again choose two from the list below the effect I desire comes to pass avoid paying nature's price to retain control so I will retain control and the effect I desire comes to pass I'll pay nature's price okay with the night void black above you the light of the moon comes from within as you glow with the brilliant beams of the full moon they dance all over your body lighting you up like a beacon and the light becomes so brilliant blinding white that you cannot see even with my light yeah no not this these aren't biological eyes these are uh moon eyes moon dream eyes moon dream eyes um you the name of the druid that taught your mother long ago moon dream actually he just sold weed and mushrooms when he had them oh my god just realized that that guy was fucking my mom oh no whoa this is a nightmare he had black hair like a wolf and you hear coming through the trees sup little guy me and your mom are just gonna hang out you here's five bucks go to the corner store but you hear the footsteps approaching in the tree slow as they enter the clearing and you hear only one set approach you stopping an indeterminate distance away there's only two footprints instead of four because jesus was carrying you because jesus was carrying the back side of his wolf like a whale's wheel bearing his wolf a whole time jesus was running jesus was running behind the wolf holding his back legs like a lawnmower go little guy go man part of me thought like for a little bit I was like whoa we're gonna do like a serious scary dream episode we're doing both it's not possible for us to maintain a tone like that so yeah you hear the footsteps approach and you know in the snow you only hear two feet and you hear a voice then you know I have to kill you you're my dream my nightmare and you are mine I take my spear and slam it into the moonstone cave in my chest in my dream whoa whoa yeah go ahead roll uh 2d6 plus what's the score wisdom nine I think you feel you feel the moon glow overtake you as this radiance bursts forth in a corona of uh no I guess I can't use that word anymore because people think about in a in a covet 19 as this radiance so good at similes as this radiance bursts forth in a almost supernova of light a black Right.

Darkness shoots out of the hole. Darkness emerges from the moonstone cave in your chest. The shadow of the dark side of the moon overtakes you. Led Zeppelin playing in the distance. Yeah, fucking give me a little bit. That's enough. Is that Led Zeppelin? I don't know. And the forest is plunged into darkness. Oh my god. Billy, tuck. The forest is plunged into darkness. Whoa, what the fuck? The footsteps around you have quieted. You hear a howl and a scream. What do you do? I follow the sound.

Yeah, I run towards the scream as well. Okay, roll 2d6 plus wisdom. Eleven. Nine. Okay, you start running into the woods, just following the sound of the scream and the howl. Tuck, you're barreling through pretty well. Something about this place, it feels like you're slipping, like it's slipping over you like a stone in the stream. Yeah, kind of feels like when I was in the spirit world and I was like floating. Yeah, like even when I hit a tree, I kind of like pass through it.

Like you're just cutting through it in some strange way, but something about Billy's countenance and Billy's place in the cosmos, he's being held back in a way and you feel him falling behind. Billy, you're being like, it feels like the trees are catching you as you're running past. Yeah, I feel my roots almost like trying to grow into the ground as I step. Yeah. 2d6 plus wisdom to remember who you were. Okay. Four. Oh, fuck. I can't remember. Oh, shit.

And that's the downfall of being like in a in like kind of like a stronger winter form. And you're in like that way of thinking, so you can't change. Oh, yes. Because it's like more rigid. Yeah, you have to like shut down yourself. Yeah. So you feel the roots dig into the earth and the ice starts to grow over your joints and then you're just still and you are one amongst hundreds of trees.

Tuck, you're running alone, but you come to a place that you feel is open and dark, just endless shadow, but you feel a presence at the center of it. I run to that. Okay. Yeah. Give me wisdom again. It's like a black hole in the middle of a forest clearing. Yeah, I'm picturing and light swirling. Around it. Eleven again. Nice. Eleven. You continue through the darkness towards the light at the center. Yeah. Oh, is it light or is it blackness? It is a it's yes. Okay. You know what I mean?

Yeah, it's like you can't see it, but you know that it's there. Yeah, but it's not what it looks like, but it's what it feels like. I had an image of like tuck like running to the middle of this and it's like the light has like formed this tar in the middle of the clearing. Oh, yeah. And he starts like digging through the tar to like look for the thing that he knows is there. Mm-hmm. Two to six plus wisdom for discern realities. Oh, yeah. Nine. Okay. So you get one question.

What should I be on the lookout for? Right. You're digging through this like tar made of moonlight the dark side of the moon. Oh, yeah. And you're digging through and you see fingers emerge. And I go, whoa. Oh, my God. Holy shit. It's good. This shit out of top two. And yeah, there are there's a hand sticking out of this goo and I pull I grab it and I pull. Yeah, and an arm follows in a shoulder. I keep pulling. There's a head to pull and I pull other shoulder and an arm. Is it Vang? It's Vang.

Okay. You noticed when the face came out that it was Vang Vang. Oh, my God. You scared the shit out of me. You scared the shit out of me, dude. I know. I'm sorry. And then tuck looks up to this guy is like Jessica. I'm sorry if I scared you. I feel like I could feel the air being displaced by Jessica's heartbeat after you did that. I feel fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. And yeah, you pull Vang out of this mire. And I say, where is he? Is he gone? Is he here? You're dead? Where's Billy? Billy?

What was the worst day Billy can remember from the Winter War? I guess like this war feels like it went on for a really long time and it was all where Billy fought was all across kind of the icy tundra and what was once like a white landscape was now like dark red and brown and the blood had frozen into a thick layer of ice all across as far as he could see. And there were like bodies layered under this all this blood and ice frozen. Yeah. Wow.

And he just he just remembers thinking like what's the point of all of this when we all came from the same place and then he goes back to fighting and it's like the people keep coming and he you know, break he like looks around the swirling snow and he's like he remembers what it was once like to be like that. Have we talked about how long ago the Winter War was never?

I don't think then you know what maybe we just won't maybe it is one of those things that is a lost to time, but Billy steps forward into the battlefield preparing to rejoin the battle as a vicious looking elf on a battle cat comes tearing out of the trees right towards you. Mm-hmm midnight black fur arrows piercing its pelt iron gray teeth and it charges towards you and I shoot my limbs out like of ice and stone to pierce it. I think we're just going to cut back to tucking bang.

I don't even I don't even need that's just hardcore. Yeah, darkness all around you. The trees begin to resolve at the edge of the darkness, but you still feel lost and tuck. Yeah, tuck realizes when being asked. Where's Billy? He looks around. He realizes that Billy didn't keep up, which is rare. Usually tuck is the slowest so little. I mean Billy never stops running even if you slow. Yeah, so tuck starts screaming into the black or he's just like Billy Billy 2d 6 plus wisdom 5 okay, you scream.

Shout for Billy and the earth begins to shake beneath you fissures form in the ground as the earth's very breath courses up in burning plumes. The sky reddens the spheres fall and all is doomed shit. Is this my dream? You tell me buddy. Yeah catastrophe. This is and it's like an alien landscape like it looks like no landscape in our world like plantless. It's mostly gray rock when Sean said the spheres start to fall like it's not just moons in the sky.

It's planets too and the sky is on fire and you can like see in the distance like islands in a chain of islands on the ocean like one by one being taken like falling into the sea. Wow. What do you do? What do I usually do? Wait, he I usually go for higher ground. This is what I usually do. Yeah, this is like the dream like the dream from here. Season two. Yeah, this is the only dream that tuck has the cataclysm. Yeah, that destroys an island nation.

Yeah, so behind you there's the shattered hill. Yeah, there's the ridge. There's the like falling tower. There's the maybe like a remnants of a tree sticking at the one thing the one dead version of something that used to be alive. Yeah, like a branch sticking out of a cliff. It's the only thing that is biological and it's like in the distance you can hear screaming and people moving. So there is also like life here and there's one thing that is different than all the other times before.

You are not alone. Thing is here with you and I go this is this is my nightmare. I mean, this is my nightmare, but you seeing it also is my nightmare because I don't like being this vulnerable in front of people being witnessed as your nightmare. Yeah, what do you do? I just I go we got to get to higher ground, but we also need to find Billy. I go to scream Billy's name. My mouth is full of owl feathers. Oh yeah. Yeah, you're you're choked with feathers and down. I can't scream bloody meat.

So yeah, what do you what do you guys do? I want to try the storm see if it works in this nightmare. Interesting. Cool. So I can calm a space around us. Hopefully. Yeah, it's time to go look for Billy. Okay, exert my will in a circle around me. We're all con on a hit the world calm seven to nine effects only what you touch as long as you're touching it. All right. Five. Okay, you extend your will around you and you Vang the lucid dreamer knowing that you are in a dreamscape.

You're not sure if it's because this is Tuck's dream or the nature of what's happening to you, but you have no control in this place. But up the hill you do see snow blowing and weapons clashing you hear on the on the wind Billy. You are locked in battle with this Ranger and his war cat. What is happening? It's basically a trap is what it is, right? So the Rangers using the cat distract me another Ranger sets fire to me. And there hasn't been much fire up here because of the wind.

It's just hard to keep a flame lit. Oh shit. This one. Yeah. Oh maybe maybe this is like emulator flame. Yeah, maybe it's like when the torch of McCall or the thing. That became the torch of McCall enters the battle. Maybe because you'd fought him before. Yeah. Yeah, perfect. Yeah, Billy had fought the demon of zealotry. So this must be him or or something like him. Yeah. Yeah, and you burn a blue flame.

Yeah and you die and then you are atop this hill again and you see the cat coming out of the forest and you you prepare to die once more Ving and tuck you see snow blowing at the top of this Ridge get to the top of the Ridge. Yeah, we head up for higher ground.

Yeah, and you get to the top and you look over the shattered towers to your left the dead tree sticking out of the foundations and in the distance you see a figure that looks much like Billy's winter form locked in battle with something and dying over and over in a burst of blue flame. What do you do? I want to charge forward and use my elemental form and transmute into a bear. The lunar bear. Yeah, so I'm channeling my mother 2d6 plus con 13. Okay. Yeah, so you like pool moonlight around you.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and snow we gather snow ice blood snow is coming up and making this monster bear with a red crescent moon. It has all the phases of the moon across its chest. Cool. And what do you do? I attack the cat. Yeah, you can go ahead and spend one of your hold if you want to just deal your damage to it. Yep, Billy, you're prepared to do battle with this cat and this ranger and then an enormous bear made of blood and moonlight charges into sight and you know that that is your friend.

Yeah, and what am I doing? I think to myself what am I doing locked inside of this piece of wood and ice? So I abandoned it. Hell yeah. Yeah. Do you want to give me a defy danger wisdom? Yeah. Eight eight. Okay, so this enormous bear begins to do battle with the ranger that had killed you a thousand times in your mind and in abandoning this form the ice and wood falls away in a pile and blossoms burst forth as Billy the spring fairy is born from that pile of wood confetti cannon.

Boom flowers all pop out and Billy comes up on it's amazing and yeah, it's the only color in the landscape. Yeah, I always like cherry blossoms and tuck. You see this thing charges forward in this body of a bloody moon bear tuck attacks the black cat to two d six plus strength. What the fuck? It's four plus three seven. Okay, well, you still got a seven on a hack and slash with a four. Okay, roll your damage. Oh, and Ving roll your damage to. Thank you. Three one not great.

Yeah, but the two of you working in concert are able to hold this cat back as Billy fully blooms on the battlefield. The bright little child that you have come to know and love fully present in this horrific landscape and go ahead and roll a d twelve again. Shit eight fuck you are a my! Oh my God. What do you add a am a six now Jesus. You're just shredded.

Billy's looking out of this like what's the problem here discern realities okay eight okay so you get one one question maybe who's really in control here oh yeah nice good question who's this child whose nightmare I drank it um there's a point where you're fighting and Billy's looking around trying to solve this and with that and the Chamberlain rings you all kind of connect for a second in a space outside this space in just like pure sleep no where you're all you don't see each other but you feel each other and if you had to guess you would say now that it wasn't a specific child whose nightmare you drank it was the nightmare of children what makes children afraid is what you consumed and spread somehow metaphysically to your friends the thing that you always forget when you're in a nightmare the person that is in control here is you three you've just lost sight of that so if you were able to strip that away somehow and remember that this is your mind these are your memories you may be able to pull yourselves out yeah I don't have to be here and I'm back on that battlefield and I just like melted away because I'm like I can be anywhere I want to be so 2d6 plus wisdom and you get a plus one from the discerned realities okay 11 12 yeah and all of a sudden thing and tuck you're like holding back this vicious cat yeah and it's gone oh you don't even see it go it's just gone we're in pinewood you're in the fir forests of pinewood a fire crackling in the distance music laughing and the big buffet table yeah big buffet table some kids are getting ready to put on a production of something the writhing cat disappears and I'm looking into the eyes of how can you never remember wrong yeah and you're standing in this place of light and laughter and friendship and camaraderie and I feel like we're standing on the edge of the woods looking at ourselves in the revel this is like a dream of a better time yeah yeah and I can feel like the cold at my back and I'm just like just don't pay attention to it don't look at it and you feel looking towards the village you feel the welcoming energy come sit eat drink be merry that's not real either though I want to turn back into a man yeah you're back you're ving I want to take the ring off 2d6 plus wisdom 9 um!

Maybe it takes all of us to aid yeah yeah oh yeah so if you take it off I have to take it off then too okay and I'll take mine off too 8 5 oh no so um tugs fingers swell when he fights this is a little bit editorializing on my part maybe um billy rolled to take his ring off you rolled to help ving so you failed at that but ving still got a 9 nice so ving and billy take their rings off and for a moment you're there alone and you're watching this village that you loved for a short time with you and your family just enjoying themselves you see the apparition of perel before he got his body back oh yeah and then the ground begins to shake god again the earth opens up okay we fall in it yeah the village is swallowed screams fire the spheres fall I start running up the hill again run run run Kate Bush is there it's a bush named Kate and you waken on the shores of hibernia under the branches of a knowledge tree ving and billy stand over top of you and I go hey guys um I had a weird dream and it was fine and unless you guys also had a weird dream yeah I had a weird dream too laughter guys it's okay to be afraid it's just a dream I'm not afraid but I also had a really fucking weird dream do we all have the same dream I think we might have all had the same dream and billy you the seven to nine that you got with the ring yeah you um clench your hands to like try and remember the warmth of before you were in that place and you feel like ice crack and fall away on your hands I don't show them yeah oh what and tuck you're gonna take a debility to wisdom oh no going forward what happened you had an absolutely horrible cataclysmic dream in which for the first time ever you watched your friends and family die oh okay yeah fair yeah fair enough and you know from here on out that will be a part of the dream every night fuck um you vang you feel in your chest another cave is opened oh a moonstone cave is there there's a moonstone cave in the center of your chest and some of the moonstone is black as darkest night sick and just then from amongst the bushes a wolf a wolf nightmare coal black belt yeah tuck picks up a rock and throws it he's like get out of here wolf stab himself in the chest and you hear somebody go oh and savannah comes out of the trees oh my god savannah you throw a fucking rock at me I thought you were a wolf you can't just walk up on people like that like all sneaky who's sneaking you are walking around in the dark in a bunch of trees it's daylight and she points barely she gestures towards the horizon as the sun begins to rise over the over the sea and in the in the dappled like morning gray the gray gray morning I forgot dappled gray morning light like you look at tuck and he's fucking covered in blood oh god oh my god yeah you have a ragged you have a ragged bite in your arm all of the bites and shit from the dream I think so because I took real damage six hell right I guess so do I have any poultices I think I gave them all to that stupid strawberry yeah so does this often happen when you read under a tree we've never read before really I believe that 100% and then tux is like so weak but he's like no I'm I am literate I don't know how many times I have to say this you should probably come back to the village hey man I'll come with you wherever you don't make me read let's let's go come on the council is reaching an accord soon you really should be back in the village doesn't accord me in a positive outcome for us let's go back to the village say do you think that they'll maybe take pity on me because I'm so fucked up right now well it has happened before but we'll see and Savarna leads you back to the village and you get patched up by one of the healers there who described as healer the healer is a fifty five year old man short very portly like rounded shoulders like a big thick guy and his tell is unfortunately a pair of tusks that come right out of his mouth cool like an orc he's a boar he turns into a boar and he uh is like slathering poultices all over tucks arms and chest just everywhere I like that he's not like most healers are like very common this is often like he's like that the henchman from Harry Potter you always like slamming throws around the pose the chair like slams food down this this guy's very rough he's healing you like he's fixing a washing machine like he's just slapping the shit out of you it's got a bunch of buckets of different types of goo for different types of injuries yeah well I shall do it all right thanks I got no problem just if it starts to sting a lot just come back okay quickly why what happens well just come back what is that stuff and he pushes you out of his tent can I taste it can I have some you don't want to consume that orally can I get a jar maybe what do you offer in trade some of the silver rotten lemon smelling liquid dee lee lee lee lee lee lign oh no idea what it does where did that come from better I think I've had it for eight years and he takes it and he opens the jar no no no he sticks his nose right in and goes like oh this will do all right this will do nicely nice hand him an empty mason jar and he had yeah like a bulk barn he just like slops it into your mason jar with it wasn't like some sort of health resin yeah just marked it and then you go and pour it into a bucket and pour it into a bucket and pour it into a I know.

What's your name? Oh, what's my name? Yeah, I'm Ving. Hi. I thought I was going to get out of here without having to tell you my name. And my name is Or… Fuck, no. That's not my name. Don't tell anyone I said that. What? Nothing. What? My name is Tromlin. Cool name. Tromlin. Tromlin with a T. Oh, Tromlin. Tromlin. Call me Lin. Just call me Lin. Lin. Lin. I appreciate this. No problem. You smeared me with a bunch of fish goo. And it was my absolute pleasure. Thanks.

Now, if you don't mind, get the fuck out of my tent. Okay. Bye-bye. Bye. I like that guy. I do too. I like him a lot. I think I'm going to visit him tomorrow. Yeah, me too. Don't. I'll see you tomorrow. No, you won't. Yes, I will. And Savarna is standing just outside the tent, like kind of leaned up against a post eating something. Do you know Tromlin? Yeah, it's not a big village. I know all the people that live on these islands. That's how it goes. He's a cool dude. He is. Bit of a boor.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Sorry, dude. We would have laughed at that, but we had a pretty fucking rough night. Well, it's because he turns into a boor and I was also doing his. No, no, it makes sense. I was doing his accent as well. It's the joke that I have and will make again. Savarna, it was a good joke. It was a good joke. We're just really run ragged.

You know what's like the worst feeling in the world is when someone tells you it's a good joke, despite the fact that they didn't laugh at all. Oh my God. Anyway, and you hear some as Grim Shay approaches you. Oh. Come. And we all actively don't make a comment on the fact that he just said the word come. Oh, man. I was trying so hard to let it go. I do. He closes his eyes because he can see you all holding back laughter. Oh my God, we're back. Took a semen chunk.

And yet you smash cut to we're back on the cliff. The council rock, the massive canopy of the Arbutus knowledge tree sits above you. You can tell that the members of the council are still discomfited by the presence of the tree. Like they don't know what to do. They're just standing. And they. They're all look at it and grim shape. Now you're all standing around the trunk because it was right where the judged once stood. Oh, yeah. So you kind of have to stand in front of the tree.

It really fucks up the feng shui. We're kind of too close to Grim Shay. Yeah, you can tell he wants to step back and all the members whose names we all remember. Yeah. Are here. Yeah, we've got grombly. We've got shockable. Yeah. Salty Pete. Tilda Swinton. What? The dog one. Yeah, the wasabi twins. And we got rounding out the pack. Little peep. He turns into a chicken. He's tiny. So the little chicken.

This is a situation where then we got network notes after the last episode where they're like, you have to change all these counts. The council members are too intense. You need to make them more tick tocky. Yeah. Also, yeah, some of them are just going to be young celebrities. Is that okay? Yeah. No, I remember all the names. We just don't need to. Yeah, totally. But one thing that you notice is that all of them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Some of them seem trepidatious, whereas Stoneye is looking Tuck dead in the face and he looks fucking furious. And Tuck's like, I know, dude, I know. I'll fight you once I'm not dying. Billy is going to climb up the tree. Grimshay's like, get down. Get down. Can you tell me what to do? Good luck. It's my tree. This is a council. It's my tree. And I start peeling the bark. Whoa. What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? Child. Child. It's fine. It grows back. Legions of knowledge. Yeah. Ages.

Yeah. Gone. When Billy starts peeling the bark off the Arbita tree, Valari, the willow's daughter goes, oh. It grows back. It's fine. It does, but it's very uncomfortable. And then I start sprinkling the bark onto Stoneye so that it gets in his eyes a bit. And like. Eye. And it gets into his one eye. He's got two eyes. They're just both stones. It gets into both his eyes. Both his eyes. Both his eyes. But he called him Stoneye. He calls himself. And this is a conversation we're actually having.

He calls himself Stoneye, even though there's two stone eyes, which is what's confusing about it. Well, maybe someone during my introduction forgot that I was originally only supposed to have one eye. But that's none of your fucking business, is it? But no, Billy, he's not reacting to Billy sprinkling. He's trying really hard not to react. I'm blowing the. The bark bits at him, and I'm making sure I have a lost bit while I'm blowing. So there's just like a paste of Arbutus sprinkles on him.

He's just like. The growl is rising. I try to be so annoying. Yeah, I like it. Is this okay? Yes, it's great. And I'm going. Oh, I'm Stoneye. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Grim Shay raises his hand. Enough. Tuck is like so tired and exhausted. He's leaning his face against the tree. Could you please at least wake up? No. Shut the fuck up. Grim Shay. Holy shit. Language. Language. Sorry. This is a council and you're a boy. Sorry, thing. It's okay.

And Grim Shay raises his hands as if like not going to apologize to me. Okay. We have reached a decision. The history of the Illyana's cannot be ignored, nor can you the effect that you personally have had upon the spiritual realms and the beings that live there in. But tales of you three have preceded you and your use to this council cannot be ignored. Okay. And so we have determined that the only thing that can pay back blood is blood. Your blood.

You will kill the man known as the Ranger King. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdulaziz. So long, everybody. Playing Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. Playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. And sorry, I made a bunch of farting noises. Don't be. That's Billy's brand. Never apologize for your brand. Okay.

Thank you to Aaron Reed of Vancouver Sunday Service for the intro and outro music and composing and performing all of the music that you hear on the show written by Abdulaziz and occasionally myself. And thank you to our supporters supporting us all around the world. If you want us to support the show, you can find us at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money, please. For a whole whack of bonus shit.

But including an entire bonus campaign called spout more Mall Brats taking place in the high spear mall. Things are really fucking picking up in Mall Brats. So if there was a time to get on board, it's now it's chilling. It's sick. There's merch. There's games. There's lots of cool stuff. So come check us out. And you know what? Catch you next time. Bye bye. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared. And lost they be.

For times of rest in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute. Or do your job. It's yours. And for you I gladly Spout Lore.

For more of the gooey goodness that you love from Spout Lore, come on down to speltlore.com slash money please where we'll redirect you to the Patreon and then donate there for the more of the thing that you like. Did you say gooey? Yeah. That's not bad. That breath was worse than anything else you said actually. Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old.

You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does max the largest heart. Best in business. And raddest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts.

So gather round friends and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Hello everyone. When last we left our heroes, they were dragged, kicking and screaming into a hellscape of Ving's creation. What? Sorry. The gang was transferred unconsciously to the dream place. Ving was accosted by a nightmarish representation of his father Dathaniel in the form of a great black wolf with iron gray teeth. A snow owl in its mouth. Arrows piercing its hide.

And after attempting to kill this wolf several times, darted into the woods of his nightmares to confront the beast. Tuck and Billy following closely behind. Grappling with their own dream selves. Billy turning into a tree and becoming trapped in an endless dream forest. Tuck encountering the nightmarish cataclysm that he has experienced over and over and over every night for his entire life. Yeah, totally normal for me.

And no reason to be concerned or no reason to speculate from a fan perspective to. Your chin's doing the waggle thing. Your eyes are watering again. Stop it. Your eyes are spinning around in your head like a Muppet. What's going on? Ving confronted the wolf dad at the last moment, saving himself by plunging his unbreakable spear into a brand new gemstone cave. Opal Moonstone. A beautiful, brilliant white light plunging his spear into it and being consumed by an inky. Okay. Darkness.

Tuck hauling Ving out of this darkness into his own nightmare. Ving joining him in the cataclysm. Thank you. Yeah. And Tuck realized that more terrifying than the nightmare of this island being destroyed is having someone see what's going on in his head. Does not like that. The ultimate vulnerability. He's a string of dead therapists behind him. Billy, meanwhile, became lost.

And a memory of the winter war totes engaging in an unending battle with a vicious Elven warrior top a mighty battle cat being killed over and over as well. Yeah. Tuck and Ving progressed through the cataclysmic nightmare, finding Billy on this battlefield, doing their absolute damnedest to get him out. Ving took on the form of a bear of bloody ice and moonlight. Tuck mixed it up with a cat man. Yeah. I got fucked up. I got fucked up a lot. Yeah. Pretty bad. Yeah.

But eventually, through the power of friendship, overcame their troubles, removing their Chamberlain rings after they found themselves in a vision of Pinewood, a happier time, a better time. And the gang escaped from the nightmare realm. But not before Tuck watched the village of Pinewood destroyed in a cataclysm. All of his friends and loved ones being burned to death by a fissure of lava. I knew that this would be his dream. From here on out. Yeah.

Tuck is like, what the fuck is going on in my head? It doesn't sound or feel good. Yeah. To even think about. So he doesn't think about it. And that's a pretty good way to deal with it, in his opinion. And upon returning to the waking world, they were collected by Savarna, who said that the council had reached their decision. And then they returned to the council to hear their judgment. Billy acted like a fucking animal and climbed around in the knowledge tree, spitting on the tree.

And then he was looking on people and telling them to shut the fuck up, showing once and for all the reason that you shouldn't bring your kid to small claims court. Yeah, this is what happens when they take me somewhere I don't want to go. Custody battle. Fuck you. My custody is nuts. Great. And they received the judgment from Grim Shay, leader of the Oval Council, early speaker for the Oval Council, that this debt of blood can only be paid with blood. And that you must kill.

The ranger king ah geez and that is where we find ourselves now it's probably gonna have no ramification psychologically the judgment hangs in the air they look at you expectantly well our rate is five gold coins a day plus per diem plus expenses yeah um each shit good call great grim grim shay looks baffled absolutely flabbergasted this is not a request this is a judgment what have we deny if you refuse this judgment deny what is required of you I would recommend leaving this island by sundown you will have a day and a night and then the judgment of hibernia be on you and at that you see stoneye who you see stoneye who is a man of justice and he's going to take you to a place where you has his arms crossed over his barrel chest smile grimly.

Fuck. Billy farts while looking at Stonai. He plops the ground. It's like, well, I guess we best be off. We shall collect our things. Yeah. Tuck. Yes, I will go now. And Tuck is like Stonai and he like reaches for it touches Stonai on the arm. He doesn't move, but his whole body tenses. I would like to say I will see you on the morrow, my friend. And then Tuck, who is really suffering the effects of blood loss, does a flourishing bow and almost passes over all the blood rushes to his head.

He's a head rush and Savarna is at the edge of the cliff and she starts walking back with you. What happened? We have to kill my father? Oh. Or they're going to kill us. Ah, yeah. Well, you know, that's the way. Do you know how they'll kill us? How do they usually kill people who won't kill their dad? Well, that actually has only come up a handful of times, I'd say.

But, um, if I had to guess based on a sort of your current situation and everything that has happened between your discovery and your arrival on Hibernia, I would guess the Selkies will have something to do with it. Oh, no. The water dogs. And then Tuck goes, Savarna, I picked these for you. And he gives her a handful of grass. Oh. Like, not long grass. Like little blades of grass. It's a little clutch of grass. Oh, thank you. That's very sweet of you.

And she kind of takes it from you and puts it in her mouth. Right, because she's a deer. She is. Oh, my God. Does she eat the grass? She eats it. She puts it right in her mouth and chews it. Like gum. So, yeah, I mean, you can go back to the hut. You could probably go back to your ship as well. I mean, I assume they gave you the usual spiel. Be gone by sundown and then a day and a night. Yeah. So, what do you plan on doing? I think we have to talk to our friends to figure out what's going on.

Okay, so you're going down on the ship? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So, you head down to the Sunrunner and it is beached exactly where you found it. And before we leave Savarna, I go, yeah, so like, I got like my own like hammock in there if you ever want to come by. It's pretty cool. So, you're kind of casually looking about trying to act like disconnected and cool and you turn back and she's gone. And then I grab Ving's arm and I lean in and I was like, do you see that? That was amazing.

We were both like looking at you really like wide-eyed like I was. I was like, yeah. Oh, she's gone. She already left. She left a while ago. So quiet into his disappeared. You miss a hundred percent of the shots. You don't take buddy. Yeah, I miss a hundred percent of my shots. I need my shots.

I need to get my shots and there are, you know, a couple selkies on the beach that are asleep some in human form, some in seal form and you see all the under is standing kind of on the top deck of the Sunrunner from where it's beach and he sees you. He's got a beer in his hand. He's like, oh, hey, hey, sup, Ollie. I thought you were any runs his hand across his neck. No, we got a day and a half. What do you mean? And then it's as you put it. Oh, yeah. Is Maggie around? I could go find her.

Yeah, I think we need to tell her and Perel what happened. We go down to Pearl's room like last time. He wakes up and he's like well, just standing over his hammock. What's going on? Is that your sleeping robe? Yeah, it's really nice. It's for airflow. Is that a feather boa? This hammock's uncomfortable. I like the way it feels against my skin. Is that silk? Yeah, it's silk. Is this part wool? I mean, yeah, it's got like different like panels. No, the slippers. Oh, yeah, those these are wool.

I made these actually. Billy crawls into the hammock as well. Trying to steal a slipper. No kidding. And he kind of shifts. Make room. Yeah, then lets Billy lay down. Oh, God. Okay, what's going on? All right, so I'm snuggling Perel. And you're trying to steal a slipper? Yeah, I got a slipper in my, I'm hugging the slipper. I'm like, Perel, we got so much to tell you. Okay, what's going on? We gotta kill my dad in a day and a half or they're gonna kill all of us. Hold on.

And he like slaps himself in the cheek a couple times. Did you say you have to kill your dad in a day and a half or they're going to kill you? I think we have to agree to kill his dad or we just run and if we do that, they'll try and come and kill us in a day and a half. Oh, shit. Bing, how do you feel about that? Well, yeah, pretty conflicted thing. Good morning. Yeah, good morning. That's a lot. Yeah, that is a lot. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I mean, mostly like where are we going to find this guy? He's, you know, he's not going to go down easy. No, probably not. But also, did you want to kill your dad? Really? I mean, I did. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah. Not really. You want to kill? Yeah, I did. For sure. I did. Have you ever met a dad you didn't want to kill? We could always just run and then choose along the way. And then if we get in trouble, we're just like, oh, well, you didn't make the terms clear enough.

We thought we just had to get out of here. Here's the question. Should we just tell them that we're going to kill Bing's dad and then decide later? I mean, druids do have a… Do you have a pinky promise too? Yeah. No! I was trying to think of the word for it. There's an old Irish mythological term. A gash? A gash. Yeah. Which is like, it's a thing that you have to abide by or it brings you like misfortune, basically.

So you think that they'll try and like bind us with a gash to like force us to do this if we say yes? I mean, I assume that's what they're going to do. That's like, you know, that's how you make people do it. You do what you're bidding. And it is very much like Billy's oath Bing, you remember. It's like you agree to terms of some kind and it is set out that if you break the terms, then yeah, something terrible happens to you.

Can I spell it, Lauren, if it's possible to break a gash after it's been administered? Totally. Great. Because if we can, if we become, if we, if you just gash yourself. Tuck has learned a new word. I'm using it all the time. I do not know how it's worked. If we do the gash work. Let me take a gash. If you get drenched in the gash. We can't let them get us in the gash. Yeah, but if we do that and then figure out a way to break it, then maybe we can get out of here scot-fucking-free. Here we go.

2d6+. Intelligence for Spout Lore. Oh. Minus one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is eight. Interesting, but not useful. Guys, aid me. I'll aid. Well, it's only. We're all both gonna aid. You can't. No. Sean, you gotta aid too. Can I roll my fairy moves? Go to www.patreon.com to aid Abdul in this rule right now. That's aid us by subscribing to our Patreon. Aid us right now by subscribing to www.spellordtreon.com. Okay, I'm just registering that domain. Do it now.

Text 2d6 plus bond to 5555 if you're a team tuck. Klondike 5. No, unfortunately, you know, you can't really aid that far. Fuck. Fuck. Wait. Bardic lore. Yeah. Does that mean two of us can aid? No. He doesn't bardic lore? No, but bardic lore. Choose an area of expertise. Legends of guitar heroes past gods and their servants and histories. I feel like this is gods and their servants. I don't know about that. Like the ocean? Yeah. This is more like magic. The ocean is a minor god, basically.

Well, if the moon is a god, then the ocean's a god. No, guys. Yeah. Stop. Gods and their servants. They made a deal with this huge spirit. Oh, stop world building, Sean. All of a sudden. I thought this was a collaboration. No, but we're not talking about a god or their servants. We're talking about a specific magical practice. But it's not. I think it's spiritual if it's druids are doing it. Okay, but that doesn't mean that Okay. Yeah. Like, what are the other? What are the other legends?

Not legends. No, and unfortunately not a god or their servants. What about histories? Okay. But you did get a seven, remember? Give me a seven. Yeah. So interesting, but not useful. You know that there are stories you've heard and read stories of people. What if you ask thing? I was literally in the middle of a sentence. Yeah. I'm doing my thing. Why interrupt you with my sounding board on a spell or get plus two. Oh shit. Oh my god. Yeah. Sorry.

See what happens when you read your character sheets. I forgot I had these. Okay. So what's the what's another PC comes to you for advice about something important. You tell them what you honestly think is best and get plus two forward on spell or discern realities. Okay. Yeah. Then yeah. So is that how do we do this? Is that all I made? That is just Ving has to be involved. Yeah. You got to just ask him. I'm so stupid because he's like a riff kind of guy is what we said. Yeah.

He's riffing on it. This makes sense because it's all juridic stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And I have the memory of an old druid stuck within me and a wizard. Yeah. And I'm kind of like a egg. Jesus. Egg person. Yeah. You're a Jesus egg. We all know what that means. Let's move on and not ask Paul about his weird history. Grow up in the Ontario North. So that makes it a 10 because I'm a moron. Interesting and useful. Interesting.

We all grab our hands and jump up and down in a circle and turn slowly around and around until Sean tells us what we want to know. And so what I'm going to tell you is there are stories Ving, you know this and Billy, you've heard it. You talk. You've probably heard songs or read books that have all probably songs that there are stories of people overcoming their Gesha or having their own Gesha broken against their will by like technicalities Achilles heel. Yeah, exactly.

So there are there is probably a way if you could find a really tricky little technicality that could get you out of the Gesha. But the thing is is that you have to kill the Ranger King. That's what we have to try to do until we figure out how to break this Gesha exactly. Yeah, so that's the thing is if you could find a way to make that technically true or impossible or something like that, then you might be able to get out of it. He does hook a lot of halfling pipe we might be dead already.

I have an idea. What if you take over you take his crown, you become king and then kill yourself. No, wait. No, this could work. This is us brainstorming. No, that is good. Bing and Tuck both scream at the same time. You kill yourself because then my dad would be alive and you'd be dead and we would fulfill the wait, that's the same outcome as if we just said no. What if we don't give any timeline and then they don't know because they're still trying.

Remember when Urk was getting the book that took months. It took so many months. What if we try and, and make your dad super unhealthy. Yes, like a bunch of burgers. Yeah, by becoming his chefs. This is great clog his arteries over many years for a long time and kill him that way. Perel holds up a hand. I'm not a druid, but my guess is they're going to put a timeline on it. Okay, I don't think they're going to give you like free rain. So it's our calendar people.

Yeah, what if we use the calendar of the sky? And eternal. Yeah, and then when Billy says we use the calendar of the sky, we go what the fuck you talking about? Like it's eternal. Assumed they can't see the stars and they haven't been able to see them for so long, right? So we can just switch her up a little bit. We agree to our terms. Yeah, and we just make up a certain time when we know the stars aligned and it's really a long time from now.

So we got loads of time and then tuck is like, all right, here we go. I have an idea and then he leans into oleander. Yeah, oleander here. Yeah, I'm here. Okay, he's drinking. He's drinking a beer. He's just watching. You gotta stop drink your even drinking constantly since we got here. I'm stressed out. That's a bad reaction to no shit. Did I tell you I'm divorced? Oh my God. Oh, no, we took you from your counselor to that's fine. That wasn't working out anyway.

She was leaving me all the women in my life. Leave me eventually. So except for any pads, the Sun runner, this old beauty here and then tuck goes. Okay, here we go. I'm going to lean in to grab your hand. You're going to your hands so big. I know dude. It's stop squeezing so hard. I'm pulling you in out and then I get close to his face. I'm like, do you have a lawyer on board? Did you bring a divorce lawyer to help us draft this this gash this deal?

Can I roll it spelt or on if there's a real see if there's a lawyer on board? Yeah, sure. Go for it. Discern eternities to 26 plus wisdom nine. Yes, of course I have a I have a barrister all ship captains travel with a barrister. Let me go get him. What's the barristers name? Follow me. Yeah, Bartholomew Theodore tiddlywinks the second. Wow, okay. Yeah, Bartholomew Theodore tiddlywinks the second attorney at law Squire.

I was I wasn't sure what voice I was going to do, but now I'm going to do this one Bartholomew Theodore tiddlywinks the second attorney at law before he even like yeah, let me go look for him. They use stomps and then Boingy jumps out of a deck hole either. He's got like a long robe on he's got he's all he's got a big gray beard long gray hair. He's got a clipboard a tie for some reason tie under on his robe. I thought you're the janitor.

Oh, no, a lot of people make that misconception little boy. Don't worry, but I'm mopping the deck. I was yes with your rights and responsibilities. Maybe most of the time I am what some could call a swabby, but did I pass the bar exam? Maybe prove that I didn't Oh, yeah, he's our guy. All right. Yeah, you know come in and out of port.

It's always good to have somebody familiar with international law to sort of you know get us out of legal jams as my captain all the under here is a smuggler and criminal. It's important that we know we are operating just at the legal limit most of the time. So what do you need? We got a situation where a bunch of druids. I don't know if you've seen this before stop me as if you've heard this one. Okay. All right, our trying to put a gash. Oh, huh on my friend here thing.

Have you ever dealt with a gash before? No, never. This is an isolated druidic community. All right, but I think I'm familiar with the idea. Well, it's a contract that is enforced by the spirit realm sort of boy. Okay, and depending on the terms of that contract thing may or may not have to kill his dad who is the Ranger King to thank Daniel van Zumba bloody Warrior King of the frozen north very fucking hard to kill.

So we're trying to find a way to word this gash so that we don't have to do that. Okay, we're hoping to work into the eternity timeline of the stars if that means anything to you or become his chefs. You know what kids? I've got great news for you. I've dealt with this exact thing before you see in black glass. I was part of a negotiation between two competing discount thrift shops who were having a conflict over Brandon.

They both said that they came up with a mascot that was a lamp with eyes and legs and I was able to determine that the lamp was actually an ancient sigil within the free copyright domain. So what they were actually doing was infringing upon the copyright of the ancient kingdom of kinos so you'll see that this is actually now that I'm thinking about it not similar in any way, but I think I can do it now. Do we know for sure that the terms of the gash are set by the recipient or the declarer?

Can I spout Laura on that? Yeah, absolutely 26 plus intelligence. Okay, nine can someone yeah, I will because it's on druidic olden days. Yes. Okay. I think that Ving still has to aid on a spout Lord that makes sense, right? Well, we didn't get anything that useful. What I'm saying is that like just you keep just him being able to give you a two. I feel like that doesn't make sense. It says sounding board on an aid. You're right on an aid. Okay. Okay fucking God. Okay. Thank you.

Okay Sean, you were right. We were wrong. We bullied you into letting that thing happen. Oh, I see. So we got three I got a nine beautiful. So that makes it a ten the terms of a gash are absolutely not set by the recipient. Why would they be he like what Bartholomew might be able to help you with is laterally thinking your way out of the gash or around it, but he's not going to be able to help you set the terms of it. So we need him to come and listen to it and write it down for us.

Exactly exactly. He's been taking notes this whole time and we look at his clipboard. He's got crazy shorthand like it looks unintelligible. Whoa so my so I just want to make sure I know what's going on here is your goal to like get out of this entirely or to figure out a way out of it after it's been set. I think we're trying to subvert it enough that we can agree to the gash, but don't have to kill Dathaniel right away and could potentially break it at some point.

Okay, it's kind of open-ended. Yeah, just like the hate for my father. Perfect. It's super complicated sounding Tuck says as he passes out. Yeah Tuck Oleander snaps over the ship's healer. Who just starts working on Tuck putting bandages on him. Maggie comes up with Kareen is like hey, what's going on? We fill her in on everything. Well, goddamn that's a whole thing and you want to get out of this. You don't want to kill your dad. I'm not I'm not sure I don't have the same drive to kill.

Maybe he needs to die. I don't but I don't want to kill him for them. It's not every day you get legally empowered to kill your own dad saying. It's a big choice to make in a few hours though, and it just puts all of us in great grave danger, which I'm not willing to do when he throws a rock at one of the Selkies fuck you too and all he says I feel like the part that you're not really thinking about is that we could just fucking whoop. We could just bail right now.

Mm-hmm, and then what we got a day and a half head start then we got the Selkies on our ass until we hit the frozen north and then I feel like they would still come after us. Sorry fuck. I'm not in the scene. Well, you just he's delirious. He's talking in his sleep, but he's shockingly perceptive while he's unconscious Maggie says so what you're going to accept them and then just kind of see what happens.

I mean as long as it doesn't I can't if we're all involved in the get you is it just going to be on me problem. I don't know is it painful does it hurt? I've never actually seen one set or a scene one take place, but I can't imagine it's going to be comfortable. I did see somebody spontaneously combust one time and I assumed it was a guest. I don't know if that is related, but it was fucking cool. This lawyer is weird at but I wouldn't call me a lawyer. Oh, you cannot call me a lawyer.

I'm begging you not to call me a lawyer. Actually, if you look at my card and barrister is spelt like B a R E hyphen I S T E R. I mean either way it's putting us in danger and I have been pointing towards confronting him. I'm going to take the gish okay, so I just walk towards the council where the council was on the cliff. Okay. Yeah, just alone. Yeah, I'm going to do this really actually can you come with me? Yeah, I can come. Yeah, I'm going to take the slipper to I put your gun for comfort.

Okay, we cut to you at the council. They're gathered there. It seems like they haven't left like they've just been standing here deliberating, but they see that you've returned and grim Shay sees you approaching and he turns to you and says being spirit Walker. What is your decision? Do you accept judgment or do you accept death? I accept gish. I'm not accepting your judgment, but I will confront the man that has been plaguing us both.

I will go to my dad very well then my stepdad for I have learned I come from no man very long to go kill my mom's boyfriend ex-boyfriend my mom's ex-boyfriend wait a second. This got way easier to do. Yeah, Billy's nodding solemnly yes at as thing as you say this going. Oh, yeah, it's way easier now if I'm going to kill my mom's ex-boyfriend unbidden memories come to your mind of many years raised at the Daniel side.

Yeah genuine affection you feel shown for you under the hardness of a warrior King, but oh yeah him teaching you to shoot a bow in like a sideways glance just eye contact and like a little bit of a nod. Yeah, and then the flush of warmth and weird acceptance. Uh-huh. Oh, and they're all there's a image where he's trying to raise you as like a like a fighter like a warrior. So you have a bow and he's got an arrow drawn pointed at you.

He's like I will shoot you like you have this is this is what it looks like to stare death in the face. Yeah, it's it was a lot of that kind of teaching right where he was like you got to be hard. You got to mean a boy named suit training exactly things actually a girl's name Oh, really it's usually in the in the you got teased for the name thing a lot when you're younger.

Yeah, then Grim Shay nods and goes all right, then the Gash will be applied and you will be sent on your way and you can tell Billy because you're just looking at everybody stone. I looks furious like he was waiting for the opportunity to kill all of you and it's been taken from him and the council joins you at the water's edge. It's a very awkward walk. I'm trying to conversation because it's silent. Uh-huh.

Yeah, and it is like nobody is talking because like people from the villager joining the procession is like I'm gonna come watch. Yeah, but Billy keeps talking to people. What do you do with all the strawberries that grow here? Like do you make jam? What kind of stuff do you make? I like to make jam sometimes, but my favorite is pies. How long does a Gash take? Is it a like do you get snacks? I don't really see any snacks being brought. Is it usually a snack event or no?

Did you just is it just because it's short notice like we didn't plan it very well? I could get some snacks. Um, what do you think? Whatever your name is? Grimbus? Grimbus 2000? Grimoire? You know when I lived here things sure were a lot different. I walked by myself a lot. Um, I didn't usually get carried or hurt around. Why are you all so quiet? We're here. That was a nice walk. Sure I'm tired though. I'm glad I have this slipper to mop up my sweat. Bing's carrying Billy.

He's been carrying the slipper the whole time. Just walking with a man's slipper in his hand. What an insane thing this is. It's a procession of the elders of Hibernia. An elf carrying a boy holding a fuzzy slipper who won't shut the fuck up about dinner. And then you arrive at the beach and you can feel some of the elders of Hibernia like sigh in relief that they've arrived. You know at my Gesh there was a platter. There were several platters at my Gesh but whatever.

I actually do like the idea that uh Hibernians at a certain age take Geshes to like just determine sort of the direction of their lives. Maybe that's when they choose a clade. They choose a clade and then the Gesh like solidifies their form. Oh I really like that. That makes so much sense. That's very cool. And I like the idea that it's like um you do it pretty young. Like 11 or 12. It also kind of makes sense with how feudal Hibernian society is.

Like Geshes like kind of keep people like swimming in the same lane despite how like like bestial their interactions are. Yeah you'd think it'd be a more like natural kind of anarchy rather than like strict hierarchies. Yeah. Uh and the elders of Hibernia join you at the water's edge. Along with dozens of villagers who have come to observe. Uh the sun is getting pretty high. It's like well I mean the light is getting pretty bright. You can't really see much of the sun.

But a uniform gray hangs over the water. And Ving they lead you out into the sea. Stoneye notably not present actually. You're standing in the water about you know chest high. Uh looking out at the waves. The members of the council are standing around you. Kind of up to their chests as well. And um it's a fairly silent uh affair. There's not a lot of speaking but there is for the people that can perceive the movements of the spiritual energies.

There's like a symphony of like spiritual energy moving as the water interacts with the druids and the druids interact with the water. The water interacts with you. Kind of sounds like when you run your finger around a wine glass with water or different. Oh yeah. Totally. There's like a harmonic vibration uh that echoes off the cliffs of this fjord as well. Oh yeah. Yeah as like the resonant frequency of the stone is hit and the whole thing rings like a bell.

Is are the elders the ones that are administering the gash? It appears that way. Okay. Tataku is barely able to keep one eye open. And the energy rises to a crescendo. Your ears ring with the power of the spiritual forces flowing through this place and flowing through you. The water dances in waves like the waves around in a circle around Vang are kind of like going up like zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom in this thin circle around them. Mm-hmm.

And uh to finish it it seems almost unceremonious but also like deeply ritual. A wave crests right over your head and just like the water washes your hair back. It gets in your nose and your mouth and your ears, but like flopping fish on the top of my head. There's like kelp hanging from your hair, but it feels like that was sort of the stamp on the whole thing. Let me guess that was the gash you now are bound by ritual to see this vow and oath to its end in two moons time.

You will end the life of the man known as the Ranger King or your life will be the one offered and the barrister is there and he's like your honor my clients I object and all he puts his hand on his shoulder goes man right now. You got to read the room here, but but he had but but Bartholomew has been taking notes this whole time. He's just been like writing on his clip or like okay. Yeah, do this do that now you are free to go from this place. But no these waters are not your home.

You will find no safe harbor here until your gash is complete. All right and grim Shay nods and the rest of the council walks back up out of the water and the hibernians for the most part follow them back up the path to the village and Billy like kind of trails after them a little bit. He's like is that it are you guys coming back? Is there are we going to have like a dinner so far? So far? I'm like, oh, Barna is there. Are you are you all leaving now? She kneels down.

Yeah, that's that's it Billy. So now I have to go. It appears. I mean, so I have to go now. Well, Bing Bing has to go but I mean my house. Oh my God. This can be too easily crying. I just got here. I know one. No one can take it home from you. Billy. This is where this is where can I come back? Yes. Yes, of course. This is your home. Okay, I'll go with Bing. Okay. All right. It'll be okay. It'll be all right. I didn't know I would be so sad. And she like reaches out and she hugs you.

Bing can you pick me up? Yeah, I was gonna Hey Billy. I made something for you. What is it? He's woven Billy a little tiara that says Billow. Oh, Billy. Thank you. Out of the woods. A little billow for me. This is the crown of the people who live in this island. This is for you. Okay. And look at this. I got a jar. Oh. Of the moon druid water from the well. Okay. And I've heard that you drink some of this before bed. It puts you in a very deep sleep and you dream of this place and being here.

Okay. Okay. You may be able to visit. Okay. I I mean if you have any questions about the Gesh I can attempt to help but I just want you to know that the coming of the Ranger King is not as simple and as black and white as the council seems to believe and we, many of us on these islands know that. That is why I think I have to go to him. She nods. Thank you. Thank you. And she runs a thumb along Billy's cheek and turns to walk back up the path. I'll do my best. We'll do our best.

She turns and says, I know you will. But if in six months time this isn't done and you come for us you better bring more than you think you need. She nods and she walks back up to the path and disappears into the trees. Okay. I want to get some poultices. Can I run quickly? Yeah. Yeah, you can gather some stuff. Can you leave me here for a bit? Yeah, of course. Okay. You want to hang on the shore? Yeah. So you're just going into the like the underbrush to gather some herbs or whatever?

Yeah, hold on. I run on the boat. I come back with Perel's other slipper. He's yelling. I don't know where I put my other shoes. Now I'm just barefoot. We need them. To carry stuff. We don't have a lot of baskets on here. They make great baskets. Yeah. So Ving, you can replenish your poultices and herbs. Thank you. If you take some time to just kind of dig around in the underbrush and grab what looks like useful leaves. Oh great. I'm foraging. Yeah. Delicious foraging. Oh man.

There's so many things that I know here because it's Druid Island. Yeah. Actually, you know what? I like that. There's I think Hibernian herbs. This one like basically of herbs and poultices will give you five uses. But anywhere else you would only get three. Great. Thank you. And I found some druid pipeweed, which is different than halfling pipeweed. We'll figure out what that means later. Excellent. Two uses. Fuck yeah. And what's Billy doing down on the shore?

Billy's like there's like the cliffs along the shore. So he's run down the shoreline to a cave around the corner. Ooh. And he's gonna, he grabbed a rock on the way. And in that cave is a cave he's visited before in his past. And he like has a little rock pile in there. It's kinda like a little, what do you call it? A cairn. Yeah. And he adds another rock to it. And he wants to like leave a little part of himself. Oh he buries some of his, he cuts off some of his hair.

And he buries that in the cairn. Whoa. How big is this cairn? It's really small. Like maybe a loaf of bread. Uh huh. Is it like every time Billy comes back to Hibernia? Yeah. Like every time he like has gone through all the cycles, he like leaves a symbol of like this version of him. Yeah. Whoa. That's really nice. And he just visits it. Yeah. And yeah, like as you enter this to anyone else what would seem like an ancient little sea cave.

You feel this warmth of like opening the door to your home after having been away for years. Yeah. What are some of the other things that are there? Oh uh an acorn. Uh pfff what else? Oh a chip of, off his axe. Mmm. Um rose petals. Well dried. Basically dust now. Um A bear claw? A bear claw. Ooh. Why not? Like a donut? Yeah an old donut. A crawler. He picks it up and he munches it as he wants. He takes one bite every time he comes back to this cave. Yeah he takes one bite of the bear, oh.

Of the donut, wait of the bear claw. Gotta save this. Gotta save it. There's still a bit left. Next time. This is like two thousand year old donut. Yeah. Is there anything in this cave that Billy takes with him? He doesn't take anything with him. Oh. No. Nice. Um But I don't tell anyone about it. Yeah no I imagine that it's actually kind of like you kind of had to squeeze yourself in here. Yeah it's very small. Like it's not a place that anyone could go. Um it's covered in like vines and moss.

Um you would just assume it's a it's um just stone. Yeah. Where it is. The opening is really small. It's really dark in there except Billy uses his little willow the wisp to see. But he like knows all the foot paths and everything. Yeah. Like and they're like worn in different places from all the times that he's stepped this way. Yeah. There's like drawings in there that he's done before. Ooh. Fuck. Do you do any drawings before you go? Not this time. Okay. Yeah. Oh wait. Yeah he does.

He goes back. I can't forget. So he draws a shitty drawing of like Perel and Tuck and Ving and Mears and Francis. So basically the first postcard that he sent out. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah it's on the inside of the wall. He's like oh I forgot and he does some croissants. Oh I forgot and he does wicker. Wow. Yeah. I actually love that that postcard was a. That postcard is a drawing that Billy did on his cave. Yeah. That's so cool. Yeah. He's got like old crayons in there. Really old. Yeah. Anyway.

It's like tree pitch with like different dyes and stuff in it. Uh huh. Uh anyway he runs back out like uh waits for Ving at the shore. Tuck is waking up and he's like Billy what are you chewing? What? What's in your mouth? Nothing. I left him for four seconds. I'm so sorry. No you can't have it. He chews like harder. Tuck tries to put his fingers in there cause he doesn't know anything. No he doesn't. It's gone. He bit me. Well you put your fingers in my mouth. I miss with the kitchen. Yeah.

Uh and Ollie and the crew of the Sunrunner have gotten the boat back into the water. It's not beached anymore. Uh the Selkies that were here guarding you have left. Ving comes back with a bag full of herbs. Uh huh. And some weed. Uh huh. What'd you get? Uh mostly poultices and some druid pipe weed. Oh. How's it different from halfling pipe weed? I don't know yet. Okay. We'll find out later. Also a bunch of berries and um nuts. Pine nuts. Cool. And a sword of impenetrable matter. Alright. Okay.

The bill hook. Did you find it? Cloak of invisibility. And a gun. Off a gun book. Uh you know what I actually don't not a gun bush, but I don't hate the idea that there's like a type of plant that the fruiting body is produced in such a way that there's a bunch of like biomechanical tension inside of it, so it can shoot just one thorn. Like if you just pick this thing, yeah, it's like um you know those exploding cucumbers. Yeah, yeah. So there's just like all this you know enough.

There's exploding. Cucumbers and they shoot seeds all over the place like once they reach certain. There's a bunch of plants to do that. Yeah, they pop in all their seeds shoot out. Oh cool. I think it there's there's one bush like that. I grab one of those bush quickly pair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a little spiky fruit. Yeah, quickly a grenade. It's a grenade that shoots thorns um and in French pair means father that is true. This is going to become the check check ofs kind of no jack ofs gun.

Yeah, the jerk off is gone. Yeah, the boat is in the bay like in the water of the fjord and the crew has started to drop sale. All the Anders ready to go. What do we do? What are we doing? You know what I feel fine thing says I feel unprompted. Yeah, he's on the bow. Yeah, okay, do the gray. Uh, why did you yell that at us? I don't know. I don't maybe I wasn't talking to you. I'm sorry. I'm talking this feels weird.

I feel strange and I hope that it doesn't bring us and knee harm, but it makes sense, right? We're going there. Anyways. Yeah, right. We gotta go talk to Adonack, right? We do and this is just kind of like another chore on the road. Yeah, sometimes you have to go to the grocery store, but on the way you have to kill your father. Yeah, exactly. All happens all the time. It's happened to all of us. Yeah, also, I just want to Peral sticks his head in. I just want to clarify.

We're all on the same page. We're not going to talk to Adonack all water. We don't know that she's alive and we're going to where her tower used to be because apparently there's a box there, right? There's a vault. Yes, with a box just want to be clear and we break that box. We get another wizard out of there. Maybe collect the whole set. High five maybe it's going to be a wizard. Maybe it'll be Adonack, but it could be anyone or anything. Oh just want to set up those terms. Okay.

Yeah, do you guys are just talking pretty casually about going to see Adonack all water a wizard who's most certainly dead just we're not casual anything. We're about to do. Yeah to any of our parents. Okay. All right, cool. Oh, I didn't I didn't learn anything by the way. Oh, I remember anything about Adonack. Yeah, sorry, nothing. Oh during your meditation. Yeah, I was trying to do a thing that I haven't been able to do in a long time be useful. It's for this guy here go fuck yourself.

No, I was trying to do an old thing Wizards. It's a it's a pretty common technique. It's called the boundless thought diagram. It's kind of a way of like folding your brain, and I haven't been able to do it since I don't have my magic, but the ion candle kind of helped me give it a shot. So I really thought hard with many brains over a long period of time, but yeah, no one knew what Adonack was working on. So nothing similar to kind of your whole situation being unfortunately.

Yeah, I don't know. I wish I could be more helpful on that front, but do you think would help just getting your magic back? Is there anything else? I mean ideally we would talk to another wizard, you know well, I mean we're going to go to this vote. We're going to break open this box.

Can we remind ourselves of what the point of that is is to well, why did we want to another wizard again to figure out like what if there's a process for getting your magic back for pearl, okay, and also if there's a process for reintroducing magic into the world in general to stop whatever's happening right planes because they're grinding against each other planer conjunction. That is the thing that we are we go everybody with we got we got back to the story quest.

Yeah, murdering one man seems a lot less important. Yeah, then all of reality collapsing it on itself endlessly and maybe it'll happen in the next two months and you won't even have to kill your dad. That's a very optimistic. It looks like this was this was the equivalent of the party pressing start to open up their quest journal and going back to the main quest that they'd on track a long time ago. Oh, yeah. What were we doing?

We've been doing side quest for a while, but all he's standing at the wheel. What's this? So what do we were just heading north my man north to the tower the glacier that our neck lives in. Okay, frozen North lived in sorry Perel. It's fine. You guys just whatever you don't remember details at the best of times. So I just assume you don't know who's alive or dead sometimes Perel. It helps us to talk about things in an optimistic way.

So it makes us feel like we are being useful and our dumb journeys have a purpose. You know, Billy, I never really thought about it that way. Because it's a stupid way to think about it, but I'm going to go back down below. Is this because I took your slipper? Maybe I brought one of them back. All you hear is he's going downstairs as as is one on slipper foot hits the deck. You see the other slipper float by the water gulp. That's not my fault. So are we are undertaking perilous journeys?

I suppose. Yes, but before we go tuck goes to the back of the ship. Oh to say one final goodbye to this land and to one half dear woman in particular. Can't even see her. She's out of sight for sure. He looks he look he looks off the back deck trees just trees Billy offers the bill knock. I look through the bell noculars. Yeah trees fill the gaps in the trees and then I yell to being it just moves his voice along the wind this role. I'm at the best right now. Don't tell him to roll stuff.

What are you talking about? Roll elemental mystery to the six plus Constitution twelve. My God, sorry fourteen. Wow, so what are you? There's no way she doesn't hear it. What are your two choices? Because remember you still have to pay. You have to choose one. I do not retain control so so far the word so Varna explodes over the entire island leveling trees and branches fall off trees rocks tumble down into the sea and eventually you see movement in the trees at the at the head of the path.

Who is it some guy and then another guy and then a group of people and then so Varna beat red in the face. She comes down to the water the beach and goes. What and then tuck he leans. Oh, he leans down. He like he leans down and pick something up and then with all his mights. He throws it to the shore to her. Uh huh. Why are you rolling for it? Just tell you I want I want to get it to the shore. Oh, you're kind of getting far away. Also. I don't remember.

What are the things she's throwing something from his inventory. Is it like a Titanic heart of the ocean sort of thing? I think so. Are you? What's his kind of goal is to try and make it like that. Okay, so you didn't even figure out what it was. This is how talk operates. This is how improv goes. Um, so he throws a bale of hay. Okay, uh-huh, because she ate the grass that he gave her. Where did you get this hay from? I did go and collect some grass.

Uh-huh, so it's a really little bail, I guess and it just plops into the sand in front of her and I go may all of your morrows be filled with grass. May you graze into eternity and the boat begins sailing away and she picks up the bale and you hear gently on the wind. Thank you good bye goodbye, and she turns away and pushes through the crowd of druids who are laughing with the bale of hay with the bale of hay. She does take it with her no poem. This time I can't.

I feel like all of my poems are the same poem. I don't think so. I wrote it on the grass. Don't eat that. You see her eating it like an apple as she walks away and all of the druids that came to the beach wave and laugh as you sail away. She's like, I'm out of the fjord and into the gray text like I feel like we ingratiated ourselves to some of them. Exactly. You look at them all. Yeah, they're all standing there. They're waving at a time.

Now you are undertaking your perilous journey out through the gray into the frozen north who is going to roll what we've got navigate and scout ahead. I'll navigate I can scout and check just up in the crow's nest. Yeah, because I just woke up Billy's hanging out the back of the boat looking out at the island all like morose looking for Lauren like a little emo. Yeah, Korean comes and sits down next to you. What's going on? Nothing. You sure? Yeah, I'm totally feeling great.

I know what it feels like to have to leave a home that you feel like you haven't spent enough time in. I saw how I feel at all. Billy turns around. He's like I just have allergies. She puts a hand on your back. Her hand is of course as big as your entire back. Thank you. She rubs it a little bit. Hands you a hanky. Yeah, I put it on me like a blanket. Thank you. You know, if I was more sentimental, I'd say something like home isn't a place. It's a feeling blah blah blah.

I have to barf for the side of the boat. She just sits there with you. Okay, two to six plus. I believe it's intelligence for navigate and wisdom for let's go to head 10 plus. Scout ahead is wisdom. So minus one because I have that ability now nine. Okay, how long does that hang out for until he gets it taken care of? So I'm I think like because this is part of the dream forever. I'm sort of making bad calls because I'm constantly worried that you guys are going to die.

So second guessing your judgments. Yeah, because we got a nine for scout ahead and two to six plus intelligence for navigate tip five shit boy. Okay, so with Scout ahead and seven to nine you choose one from the list below you get the drop on whatever lies ahead you discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain such as a shortcut shelter or tactical advantage. You make a capital D discovery or notice sign of a capital D danger. I think I would like to get the jump on whatever lies ahead.

Okay, so something that is different as you're leaving the gray is that you don't have guides. So it's pretty slow going initially like as Ali and the crew are trying to get a handle of sailing through the gray again with no one helping them. So it feels like you're just crawling along you're sailing through this like interminable wall of mist and fog and a rock appears out of the gloom jutting out of the water this like harsh gray spike of stone.

Whoa and standing at the very top of the stone is stone. I what the fuck he's got his arms crossed over his chest duck is just like what are you doing just because the council has laid their judgment doesn't mean I have to agree. I act by my will alone. I don't think the council would like to hear that I spit on the council. Oh shit. You any points at Ving your line your blood has broken the accords of this island and I will not stand for it. What are you going to do?

You will know in time and he leaps into the air and takes his elephant seal form and disappears beneath the waves belly flops hard he should have waited change that was not lean forward next time lean forward a little bit before of a dive and he hits the kind of way that the there's like silence for a second and the whole crew goes. Oh oh but he disappears under the water and tries to play it off, but you can tell underneath he's going.

Oh fuck fuck my stick so bad his real voice is coming through how he took on a Batman voice when he became a man. Yeah, so coming for us now or eventually I think eventually he said in time. So so within space and within time. Okay, all right grown-ups always mean later on when they say that yeah, yeah, yeah, who knows might be rogue might be that he is going to wait to see even this the barest inkling that you don't plan on fulfilling your oath. Oh strike like could be anything.

Okay seemed like he definitely didn't want to give up any information besides I'm here. Yeah and Ollie is pisses into the ocean. Yeah, for a good measure here dig be come and hold the wheel for a second and he runs over to the side and he runs up and pisses in the ocean Billy runs up to a little like one of those where they called the port holes. Yeah, yeah, I points into the bottom of the boat. I didn't know that told me before I start and tucks like come on everybody.

Let's all piss into the most of the crew except for the guy holding the wheel. They all run to the sides of the boat and they're all like yeah fuck you in a final show of rebellion as you leave hibernia and tuck sniffs and he's like whoa someone needs to drink more water. This fucking suck. It's like it's you just accurate like, you know, like coffee piss when you haven't had enough water after you drank a bunch of coffee.

This is orange, but yeah, it's I'm in ketosis pretty hard happens in ketosis and your piss gets like super intense. Yeah, well, I'm gonna make sure it's not brown. That's when it's dangerous around this is that when there's like blood in there and no, it's just like your body's breaking down. It's going out of your dick. Yeah, sounds kind of like you know, you're pissing out your organs and stuff. Yeah, this is the conversation liver. Tuck and Billy are having because Billy's low enough.

He saw the whole stream. Yeah. Oh, and he got all the whiff of smells like motor oil sludgy. What the fuck and he's all bitter again. He's like I left hibernia for this. Oh man, that's true. That's going to be I bet a bit of these people peeing off a boat. So excited. Yeah, just standing back like God fuck bit of a transition back to road life. Whereas before Billy was like I love being on the road. Everything's so interesting and now he's thinking about like the fish guy.

He's like he made such good fish shadow snow. Yeah, because so like yeah tuck kind of hears Billy grumbling impudently like a surly little kid. I'm back at the back of the boat again like you leave the porthole goes in the bottom of the boat outside into the ocean like I'm supposed to know that doing that little kid like throwing stuff overboard with that little kid throw where like they don't know how to throw stuff properly. So it's just like really important things for the boat.

I don't get it over as bounces off and hits me. Yeah. Oh yeah, I get angrier. It hits the ground hits the banister and hits you so stupid came throw anything right. I start scratching at the wood just with one finger. Yeah, it so then tuck walks over to Billy and he kind of leans down. He puts his hand on his back and he starts rubbing his back. He's like I know it's hard to leave. No, I feel fine.

No, I don't feel anything and tuck is like it's okay if you don't feel anything, but it's also fine to not feel fine. It's hard to miss the places that you feel at home. You know how I feel all I'm just alone here because everything is stinky over there not because I have feelings and that I'm sad and tuck from like in his little backpack.

He he pulls out like a little wooden cage and in it is like one of the mimic moths and he's like I caught this guy before we left and Ving talked to him and then like the wings open and it's like a picture of Hibernia and then they close and they open again and it's like different parts of the island. Every time it closes and opens it's like a storybook of your home. Wow, thanks you guys. It's not like being there, but it it's not nothing. It's pretty close.

Is the moth going to get cold up here? Yeah, it'll die in a couple weeks. It's not. No, it's going to. Everything dies, Billy. Right. Yeah, most things. Oh, I forgot about that part. I'm just going to like take the moth downstairs and go sleep in Pearl's hammock. Okay, buddy. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. And we see this shot of below decks Billy laying on his side in the hammock watching the mimic moth open on the island of Hibernia.

The trees the ocean very very he's reclined and draw me like one of your French girls. Spoken a pipe. Yeah and a rock face behind which Billy knows lies a very familiar cave. Oh, and that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing to come to him the Barbarian Abdul Aziz so long everybody playing being the half-elf druid Paul offers take care playing happily the halfling thief Jessica tie by everyone. Thank you to our to Aaron read.

Thank you to our Aaron read for his incredible artist or and if anybody tries to get him to make music for your podcast, I'll come your house. I'll shit out of you. Yeah, we'll fucking rock bottom you in your mom's kitchen rock bottom. That's a finisher and we're going to finish you in your mom's house. Yeah I'm going to finish your mom.

Yeah, I'm going to finish your mom with my two fifths Aaron makes our intro and outro music that you're well familiar with by this point, but we love it so much. You can find all of the music composed and performed by Aaron read and written by Abdul and I at just Google spell or SoundCloud that'll probably do it also Aaron had an album come out recently. Oh yeah, talk about that. Yeah, if you go to band camp and search ACR that is the name of his one man musical group.

It's a great album as you might be aware Aaron is a great musician and thank you to all of our supporters out there on patreon. If you want to support us, you can go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money please to gain access to bonus content like outtakes the outlands where we do some kind of off main game world building for experience points. We come up with a lot of whack shit. That's a lot of fun. We got a whole bonus game called spout more Mall Brats.

We got a postcards other stuff. Check it out. It's pretty cool patreon.com slash Spout Lore Spout Lore.com slash money, please and that's about it. See you next time. Bye.

Bye and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion it's we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

Hi everyone, it's Fat Billy here. Thanks for coming to listen to our podcast. If you want more podcasts, you can go to patreon.com slash spoutelore, where you can give us some money. And I like money, so I can buy snacks. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in bread. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Hello everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hi there. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica. Good to have you. Hello. When last we left our heroes, they had been delivered the judgment of Hibernia's Oval Council. Kill the man known as the Ranger King, or forfeit your own life.

The party then hit the beach and spent a long time trying to figure out how to get out of a thing that had not been declared yet. In classic Spout Lore fashion, how do we get out of the rules that we don't even know yet? We met Bartholomew. Theodore Tiddlywinks II. Esquire. Esquire.

A quote-unquote lawyer slash barrister, end quote, who said that, you know, he wasn't sure that he could help you, but he'll take some notes and he's got, you know, he's going to start working on a plan to potentially get you out of this gash that has been laid upon Ving's brow alone. Mm-hmm. Billy made a quick visit to a cave that existed on the shore of Hibernia, which appears to hold. Many memories and many mementos from Billy's eternal past. A little home.

Home away from, well, a home at home to visit when he comes home. Billy was feeling very strongly about having to leave Hibernia. It was so sad. It was so sad. Yeah. Jessica cried. I know, I didn't mean to. That was maybe the best acting we've ever done on the podcast. I would say. Okay, so the gash was applied. Kill the man known as the Ranger King in two moons time, or you can do it. Kill the man known as the Ranger King in two moons time, or you can do it.

Kill the man known as the Ranger King in two moons time, or you can do it. Your life is forfeit. The party left Hibernia, packed up the Sunrunner. Tuck made an impassioned plea to the green speaker druid, Savarna, throwing her a small bale of hay after summoning a large portion of the villagers of Hibernia with a Ving-enhanced scream of her name. Yeah. I mean, a plea is maybe a strong, maybe too strong in terms of what I did. I mean. Because I wasn't asking for anything. Not on the outside. No.

On the inside. You were begging, pleading, please love me. And you know what? She didn't. Or at least lust me. And in that way, all of Tuck's actions could be considered impassioned pleas. And then the party headed off. The Sunrunner sailed away into the gray once more, traveling through its impenetrable mists until. Reaching from a stone jutting out of the ocean. Stone. I. Who said that he doesn't care what the council says.

You have broken the accords of the island and he will visit his wrath upon you in due time. And then Tuck and Ving sat with Billy as he hid his tearful face in his anger at leaving Hibernia before being presented with a mimic moth in a cage containing images of his island home. And that is where we find our next episode. We find our next episode. We find our heroes now traveling through the gray. How's everybody been doing? I think it's maybe been a day of sailing slow going.

All he's trying to keep it real tight because you don't have guides this time. So he's just trying to plot his way through. He also, I think, is like aware. He doesn't know it's Jonah is planning. I think we're all kind of like, yeah, he could be anywhere living under the pall of that potential threat. So we're like, what the we got to get out of here as quick as possible and onto dry land. No problem. Towards the edge of the gray. Oh, really? Thank you. Keep on keeping on. Just go to that.

Just leave the fog. That's why didn't I think about that? He rakes his hand across the bow of the boat. Oh, is that where I'm going? Ollie seems more stressed than he's been this whole time. He's glancing over his shoulder. There's a lot of like beer bottles clanking around on the ground. You're wondering like where he got all this beer from. Billy's catching in them and nets as a game. Yeah. He's just tossing them over his shoulder into the water. So I guess. Yeah.

Is there anything in particular that the gang has pursued or talked about that we want to cover in the last day? I think we had like a dinner like a dinner. Maybe we like talked about our plans for when we get there. Well, then let's manage provisions, baby. Okay. What is that? That's the other move where we make dinner. Oh. Oh, cool. Dinner time. Who's making dinner? Yeah. Billy. I think we're all. We should all do it. That's fun. Well, someone's got a role. Oh, Billy, you roll. Yeah.

I'll do prep. Okay. Billy suggests we make a family dinner. Yeah. And we feel bad because we told him that moth was going to die. We were just like, sure. Yeah. Whatever you say. Because after he left, we were like, I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have told him that. I shouldn't have reminded him that everything dies. So a roll plus anything. Wisdom. Uh, 12. Wow. Beautiful. It's a great. On a. Holy shit.

I mean, I already know what one you're going to choose, but on a 10 plus, choose one from the list below. Careful management reduces the amount of rations consumed. Ask the GM by how much or the party consumes the expected amount of food and the food you prepare is excellent. Describe it. And everyone who licks their lips takes plus one forward. As if anyone would pick the not. I know. Yeah, exactly. Of course you would pick that.

I'm not even going to tell you what the second one is anymore because the other one's the most fun. Yeah. Yeah. We all want to lick our lips at each other. Okay. Yeah. Let's hear it. What kind of meal do you make? Um, we're making like a macaroni and cheese with hot dogs because that is what Oleander has on board. Yeah. He's like, no, it's the perfect meal because the macaroni is dry already. So it keeps for a long time and the hot dogs are already cooked. Like they're smoked.

So they stand, they keep for a long time too. I've had these hot dogs for three and a half years. But the cheese is the hard thing to make. Yeah. Yeah. The cheese is not so good. We can use sea cheese. What's sea cheese? It's a foam that gathers on the shores of the North after a storm. Cool. It's like a byproduct of, um, an algae. I'm sorry. This, I'm not making it sound good, but trust me, it's fucking delicious when you mix it with hot dogs.

I mean, the only other option is like this old bread that looks cheese flavor. Like a blue cheese. It's, uh, it's not cheese flavored, but it is technically kind of cheese now. We can put our hands together. Yeah. So where do you get this sea cheese from? You said it is on the shore. Back flips off the side of the boat. B-I-B. And where, so where does Ving go to get this cheese? Just along the shore. They're along the shore. So we can see. He just finds a shore. Yeah.

There's like a little alcove, you know. Gotcha. We have to wait for slack tide, of course. Then I come back with a, like a, a net, empty net. And then I hold it. I'm like, I'll be right back. Come back with a bladder full of cheese. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, so you throw it in the macaroni and hot dogs. Yeah. And powdered bread cheese. Yeah. I'm like crumbling the bread with my hands.

It's because it's so hard. And I'm like, Tuck, you can cut the hot dogs and I'll make the cheese. I do that. I take the waning knife and I'm like- You're cutting hot dogs with the waning knife. I love it. And I'm like, this is what it's for, dude. Is it? Is it? Chuck says that to the ghost of chives. Yeah. He makes spider dogs. Nice. Oh, hell yeah. Everybody loves spider dogs. He's like, Billy, look. Whoa. It's like a, I don't know what that looks like. Spider. Oh. So good.

I thought you were going to say he makes porn scorpion dogs. That's so funny. I'm going to do that now. Spider dogs and porn scorpion dogs. Can I roll to see how much it looks like a porn scorpion? I don't know why you would. What is it plus? I don't know. Dexterity, I guess. Dexterity. Zero. So nine. Beautiful. It looks pretty much like they both kind of look the same, but depending on what you say it is, you can kind of see it, you know, his eyes widen. Oh, they look too good.

I want to fuck this hot dog now. And Billy's getting really sweaty with the bread. So it's kind of turning into like a cheese. Oh, it's not so gross. When I make the potions. Wait, you use your sweat to make the potions too? Yeah. When I make golden root. Oh, gross. Billy. You make friends with the heck? Yeah. Where else? What else am I going to use? Yeah, you're right. Like regular water? Ugh. It doesn't taste the same. No, there's no shame in using the juice that falls out of your body, buddy.

No body issues in this family, right? Body juice. Delicious. So here was what we've got. Macaroni and porn scorpion hot dogs with mushy bread that is turned into sweat cheese. Yeah. And I did add a handful of paprika and a handful of salt. That saved it. Those are the only two spices that Oleander has. Like we opened the spice cabinet and we're like, wow, this guy is so divorced. It's crazy. There's so many different jars of different sizes and everything, but all of them have either salt.

Or paprika. Or paprika. Yeah. I can't taste any other spices, so I just use these ones. And then on top of that, coastal sea cheese. Yeah, what's stirred into. Stirred in, making a gloppy, cheesy. It looks kind of cheesy. It looks good. It looks good. Oh, and what are these? And I go in the corner of the pantry and there's like a bunch of dried chilies, like whole chilies. And I grab six of them. Oh, dude. I put them in the pot. What?

Now Billy slips it in there just before everybody starts eating. Yeah. Wow. So every once in a while, someone gets a whole chili and just goes. You can't hear it, but everybody's licking their lips. Just go look. Holy shit. Are my lips weird? No, it's just weird seeing so much of them. No, I just never see your lips. Especially your upper lip, because your mustache covers it all. And you're kind of pulling it up right now. Yeah. Okay, get ready. I'm going to lip. I'm going to lip.

We're going to lick this thing for all of us. I choose the non-licking lip. I'm going to take a picture of this so everybody can see Abdul's upper lip. So everybody gets plus one forward to their next roll for this delicious family meal, which even if the food didn't come out exactly like you were hoping, the bonding experience has raised your spirits. Definitely not hygienic, though. No. Well, I mean, it's just your sweat, Billy. No. You can't be hygienic. There is a lineup at the head.

There is a lineup at the head. Yeah. Yeah. Which is, of course, a hole that goes straight into the water. Yeah. But it is getting much use. Amazing. So that was, you know, that was a nice kind of afternoon, evening experience that everybody had. You guys are just sitting around on the deck. The light starts to dim in the gray. Lamps begin to be lit on the deck of the ship. We have a brazier that has like an iron bottom so you can have a fire on the deck. Yeah. That's nice. That's nice.

So you're all sitting around a little fire pit on the deck of the ship. As you sail through the gray. Yeah. So, okay. This is Perel speaking. He's rubbing his hands in front of the fire. I have a question. Do you think it has to be me that needs to kill the Ranger King to fulfill the gash? What were the, what was the words exactly?

And Bartholomew walks up with his clipboard and goes, uh, the words exactly were kill the man known as the Ranger King in two moons time or your life will be offered instead. They didn't say it. They didn't say it specifically though. No, I guess. Yeah, I guess not. Uh huh. Also something that I noticed me, Bartholomew, Theodore Tiddlywinks, the second Esquire, uh, actually reminds me of, uh, Monroe versus Monroe. Yes.

Uh, this was another case that I took in black and black glass where a man had driven his cart through the front of a taco place. And I was able to determine that because it was a horse drawn carriage that actually the horse was driving. This was legally responsible and not the man. He got off scot-free. They killed the horse. The horse was hanged by the neck until it was dead. Uh, but trust me, that horse deserved it.

That horse had a record as long as my left arm, which is slightly longer than my right. Anyways, this reminds me of Monroe versus Monroe in the way that it is not quite similar, but there was a technicality involved. They said kill the man known as the Ranger King. It's true. Not kill your father, Dathaniel, whatever. So what if we just get someone else to be the Ranger King? Uh-huh. Or we find a different Ranger King. Okay. And.

Or perhaps there's something to be said for the, um, the symbolic death of the Ranger King, quote unquote. Perhaps if you were able to in some way abolish the monarchy. Right. Or, um. Yeah, we could definitely do that in two months. That sounds easy. I like the way you're thinking. How many years has the kingdoms in the boreal reach existed for? So many years. Like so many. Ving got one of the chilies. Sorry, my lips are numb. Many, many years. Yeah. You like easily. Yeah.

Thousands, thousands and thousands. So we have two months to destroy a monarchy potentially that has lasted for a year. Yeah. That sounds slightly harder than regicide. I mean, if you've, have you ever regicided before? Is this your first one? Maggie? Me? Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. I've done it. Okay. I did it one time. And what'd it feel like? Oh, uh, well, killing always feels bad. I'm sure you're aware of that, but, um, this one felt worth it. We're eating craft dinner. Yeah.

She's also eating craft dinner. Yeah. Yeah. I think you'll find that it is, uh, difficult, but worthwhile. Endeavor. Was any of them your father figure or no, no, no. But if I had the opportunity to kill my father, I think I probably would have done it. If you know, if you know what I mean, any tips or tricks, Maggie?

Well, actually one, one thing that I have found has been useful in the past is, um, the worst time to attempt to, uh, destroy a monarch of any kind is when they have the support of their people at their back. Hmm. So if you can find a way to maybe turn some of his allies against him, that might make your job a little easier. Okay. So we're back into abolishing the monarchy maybe. Or just deposing him. Yeah. Or just killing your dad. Yeah. You know, I've been thinking on that for many years.

Yeah. Do you, do you want to kill him? No, I don't anymore. I don't feel that I want to. Maybe when I meet him, maybe he'll want to kill me. I have no idea what to expect. Did he for sure kill your mom? Is that why? No one's ever told me that it was him, but I know it was him. I don't know how I know. Well, and this is Perel. If, um, if you share your mother's memories as being created from her, I mean, maybe you have a memory of him killing her. After I was born? Maybe. You think that maybe.

My memories are linked to hers even after we were separated. I mean, we're all, we're all treading new water here. I don't see why it's impossible. Have you ever tried to commune with the spirit of your mother? No. Would you ever try it? Yeah. I mean, I've never thought of communing with her as a place. I'll try. I'll try and talk to her sometime. Okay. So then, uh, the other part of the plan is we're, I mean, two months. That's not nothing.

We don't know how far it is from here to Addernax tower. But we also do know that Shia said that as soon as we got to the frozen North, Dathaniel would be on us pretty much right away. So the plan is go to the North and just rely on him coming to you. Yeah. We can also like bait him too. How? Uh, I don't know. By being generally, I mean, if we're also going to go for, uh, deposing him, we could start a political movement as soon as we land on shore. Interesting. Interesting theory.

Billy, you're the trap expert. How would you bait him out? Oh, I mean, I would just talk amongst the guards and, uh, see if, uh, they have any hot gossip to share and, uh, maybe like, I don't know, see if they know where he is. Oh yeah. That would be a good way to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, probably, you know, there are probably weird little kids everywhere. Perfect. That's all I need. Okay.

Then I guess just business as usual until we get to, ah, stone eyes, stone eyes. Where? Where? No, no, no, no. It's okay. Oh my God. He's, but he's, he's going to be picked up one of the empty beer bottles and threw it, smashes it on the side of the railing. Come at me. Come get me, Pitt. Uh, so yeah, he's around here somewhere. Presumably will be a problem at some point, but. You know, stone eyes is a huge pussy. Uh, I'm sorry I swore. Uh, he's not going to do anything yet.

I'd like to see him try. Yeah. I think he is afraid of the council. I think he is like, there's a lot of bluster there. I think he might wait until you like violate the gash. You know what? I have a feeling he might come in handy. What about the glacier? What are we going to do when we hit Addernecks tower? I ask Perel. Um, yeah. Try. What are we looking for?

Well, I mean, I never saw Addernecks tower, but, uh, tower is sort of like a, um, more an industry term than a descriptor of the structure itself. Uh huh. So I don't know exactly what we're going to be looking for, but it might be. I think I always heard that Addernecks was like inside the glacier itself as opposed to like something built on top of the glacier. Like the tower quote unquote might be the glacier. Ooh. It goes below the sea, the water, like an iceberg, how there's more.

Maggie, do you like the menders set up a vault there, right? Oh yeah. That is right. Yeah. It's a hotspot and that's why we know about it. Cause there's a vault there. So the vault was built in a disused tower, apparently previously owned by Addernecks all water or built by or whatever. So I know that it is inside. The glacier. I know that there is at least one object kept there, a ward stone box, potentially with a wizard inside.

The only thing is that I have not been in contact with the cell in the frozen North in that area for quite some time. How long? Uh, eight years. Oh, so I don't know the state of the tower. I don't know what to expect when we get there. I don't know if anything that I knew about it previously is even still true. Do you know what happened? Well, I haven't heard. I haven't heard from them for nine years. Well, I mean, not for any particular reason.

It's just the nature of the menders is we don't stay in contact terribly often unless we need to. Right. It's like a disparate network or whatever. Yeah. I only know of the cells and I really only know their leaders, the one in the North and the one in the Blacktree principality where the other box potentially exists. Who is the leader of the North cell? That's a great question, which I of course know the answer to. I haven't told you that.

I know the leader of this cell and that leader's name is Matawan. He's a good guy. Yeah. He's trustworthy enough in the past as trustworthy as a mender can be really. Do you have a second name? Just Matawan? Uh, I actually don't know, but I'll try and make contact when we arrive. Uh, and potentially Matawan has other assets, but, um, yeah, that's really all we know. Kind of generally where it is and that's it. How do the vaults operate? Is it like the one that we found in the?

In the riverways where it's like, there's just like an autonomous golem there that kind of manages them or are they all different? They're all kind of different. The general conceit of a vault is there is a wifi hotspot there. Not every wizard tower would be a vault, but because there was a hotspot in this vault, the thalmic field that exists inside it is powerful enough that it can maintain, uh, wards and spells that are necessary for the protection. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

There's a lot of containment of the objects they're in. And the people there in those objects. Precisely. Yes. Did we ever, uh, agree on what we were going to do with these boxes? Are we going to break everyone out or are we going to Maggie, what was your opinion when we left? I can't remember. She puts up her hands, says, I have made my position on wizards known in the past. 10 five, sir. Double high five. I've made my position on wizards known in the past. I don't trust them.

I don't like them. Yeah. Perel, I also mean you. Thank you very much. But I don't like you because I don't not like you. I don't not like you because of your personality. I don't not like you because of who you are. Wait, what? The intrinsic nature of Perel. You don't like him. Do you like his personality or not? He's fine. You like him? You like his personality? He's a fine enough person. If you just let him talk, you guys never let him talk.

And then we're like, ooh, Maggie wants to hear Perel talk. Ving starts crossing one index finger over his other index finger. What does that mean? I don't know. This is when we were growing up. This meant you liked somebody. I think it's like tsk tsk. Oh, yeah. This was the penis in the hole. No, no, no. He's not. No, not my type. No, thank you. Not interested. Probably goes, eh, fine. Ving says, totally unrelated. What is your type? Um, how do I?

He takes one finger and goes over behind his pointed ear. That was maybe the fastest I've seen anyone shift into, uh, I guess, lecherous. You know what? Let's move on. Let's move on. How about? Moving on. But, uh, yeah, that's what I know about the vault. I mean, you've been to the Riverways vault. They're kind of dangerous in general. Ours because. Yeah. Chamberlain. Yeah. He broke Billy's arm. Yeah. No, he is a powerhouse when he is required to be.

So we don't know what, what could exist inside this vault. Can we Spout Lore on histories? Yeah. You could probably, you could Spout Lore to potentially recall some details, but like this is something that a lot of people might not know about. Hey, Perel. Yup. Do you remember anything that anyone might've told you about Adderneck All Water? Or the vault. Or the vault. Or like the ice. What was he? What was she into? You had your frog. Frog thing.

And very specific, uh, very specifically, nobody knows. She was very secretive about her work. Caroline, you were a spy. You were spying on Maggie forever. My name's Kareem. Kareem, sorry. That's fine. You just look exactly like Caroline. I was Caroline for a long time. You look exactly like this girl I used to know, Caroline. This girl I used to date, Caroline. Yeah. 2d6 plus intelligent. Wow. Not, not great. Okay. Six. I can age you. Anyone. Yeah.

Cause I can give you a plus two if it's historical. Oh yeah. 2d6 plus bond. Nice. Seven. Okay. Perfect. So that makes it a seven. Interesting, but not useful. So Perel kind of says, yeah, since nobody really, I mean, most towers kind of reflect the specialties of the wizards that built them or lived in them. And since no one really knew what Adderneck's school was, we don't really know what to expect. So I would say. And I know this is not really the way that you operate.

I hazard extreme caution, extreme caution when we go to the tower. Sounds boring. So you're saying we might have to jump in with a plan. I would say don't jump in, make the plan. Don't jump in. How will we make a plan if we don't know anything? So we got to jump in. What's your plan, bro? Be very, very careful. Kind of stand behind you guys. Yeah. And hope that I survive long enough to uncover whatever I need to uncover.

I guess that is not a bad plan is like we go in there swinging and draw whatever it is is in there as attention. And then Perel has time to like, I don't know, read or whatever nerd shit he wants to do. He can do that weird like candle meditation again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I probably would. Twitchy beach moves. Yeah. Yeah. I probably do that. Who has the eye on candle? Tux says looking around. Shit. I Perel does. Okay. Why? I just wanted to know where it was. Okay. Did you use all of it? No. Why?

Crosses his arm. I don't want it. I just wanted to know. Okay. No, I still have some left. Why are you being all suspicious? I don't know. Why are you asking me so many questions? Cause you ask me questions all the time. Like, did I brush my teeth? And like, do I want to learn to read this book? And are you sure you brush your teeth? Cause your breath smells really bad. And I say it's not my fault. I ate some. Food that I found after I brushed my teeth. And also, why is your toothbrush dry?

Because I don't have a toothpaste. So what am I supposed to do? And do you feel like putting on pants today? And I say, no, Perel, do I ever want to put on pants? But I do because that is what society expects of me. Billy did finger quotes around society. All right. I guess we'll undertake a perilous journey to figure out the next stage of this journey. Exciting. Yeah. So navigate and got ahead. Who's doing what? Can I scout ahead this time? Yeah. I'll navigate. Okay. Cool.

So scout ahead is 2d6 plus wisdom. Navigate 2d6 plus intelligence. Billy's feeling better now that he has the mimic moth. And food. So many macaronis. Oh, yeah. 13. Fuck yeah. Pretty good. Four. Okay. Damn it. So scout ahead. You get two from the list below. You get the drop on whatever lies ahead. You discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain. You make a discovery or notice a danger. Like two. Two. Make a discovery. Okay. So you're sailing.

This is, let's say, like a day and a half after your little sit down on the deck. Sun is, you imagine if you've started to kind of be able to track the time of like how bright it is instead of like the position of the sun. So it's probably late afternoon. You are sailing along and you hear someone, a crew member from the crow's nest. There's a vessel. Uh, vessel. There's a vessel off the starboard side, I think. A vessel means a boat, Fing says. It does, yes. Starboard means right, Tuck says.

Starboard does mean right. You're all learning. I'm so proud of you. Off means not on our boat. And you're kind of like peering through the fog and you do see a mid-sized ship, like two sails just kind of sailing along and it looks like there's bodies milling about. Like alive? Yep. They seem to be alive as far as you can tell. Tuck picks up a bottle and throws it at them. Empty bottle? Wait, I was gonna put a drawing in there. Okay, you put a drawing in another one. There's so many.

Oleander has not slowed down and we have not stopped for supplies, so this is pretty weird. And guess what? I'm sailing better than I ever have in my life. He is not at the wheel. I pick my, and I have a lot of drawings too, I pick my best smiley face drawing and I put it in the bottle. Here you go, Tuck. Thanks. Okay, I want to try and get this on their deck. Okay, 2d6 plus strength. A message of friendship and camaraderie between seafaring vessels.

I shall deliver it in the standard way that you do on the sea. In a bottle. Deck to deck. 14. Fucking hell. Yes! It lands in the captain's drink holder. Jacuzzi? Yeah. Is it at the wheel? Yeah. The cup holder attached to the wheel? Yeah. Lands on top of the drink, knocks the other drink through the bottom of the cup holder and completely replaces the thing that they had there. And you hear a voice go, drop, drop, drop it, drop, drop anchor, drop anchor.

And then after some time, ahoy, ahoy there. Ahoy. Are you friendly? Wait, are you? Did you read my message? There's a, what? There's a message in here? Well, duh. It's the standard way that people communicate on ocean. What we assume. Okay, just a sec. It's really in there. It's trying to shake it. It's kind of wet now. Aww, that's nice. Yeah, okay. You seem friendly. We'll meet you halfway. Do you want to come over here? We come over there? We can row over there. Okay.

I want to do a plank, but that's fine. Yeah, I was thinking a plank too. Well, we can get close enough and then plank. We can get close enough to do a plank that we walk across. Okay, yeah. Ving does a plank. They all walk across them. Plank board abs. Yeah. Yeah, the ships come up next to each other. A plank is laid and there's a guy standing there, short, kind of pudgy, bald, glasses. He's got just a vest on and pants, but no shirt, just the vest.

Oh, and then a fur trimmed cape around his shoulders because it's cold out. Oh, yeah. And he's got a necklace on. That has an anchor. Oh, cool. Yeah. So I'm like halfway across the plank and I say, wait a second. I would like to trap expert. Ah, smart. Very smart. 2d6 plus dexterity. Yeah. Sweet. 14. 14. Shit. Okay. Is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? Billy, you've been on the sea quite a lot now. Like you've spent a lot of time out here. I have spent a lot of time on the sea.

And you know what? These are pirates. What does the trap do when activated? They are trying to get a good look at you, especially with the gray being as debilitating as it is. They wouldn't want to risk just like attacking you straight up. And what else is hidden here? You see there's probably 12 to 15 members of this crew and the ones that you see are all wearing the anchor necklace. One second. I just have to go to the bathroom. I start backing up. And you hit our legs.

I'm like, Billy, what are you doing? Back up. No, they're friendly. No, I don't think that they will be friendly. Okay. What's going on? I thought you guys were going to come over here. Yeah, we're just gonna get some toilet paper and food. Toilet paper. You know what? We could use some toilet paper. And we will bring some toilet paper back from the privy is what they call it. All right. We'll be waiting. Okay. Okay. Pull up the anchor. Wait, no. Wait, wait, wait. What's going on, Billy?

I think they're pirates. Look at the vest. Are we pirates? Not really. Oleander. Are we pirates? I'm not a pirate. I'm a smuggler. You want to be a pirate? No. Well, on the level of like, where do pirate versus smugglers sit? Are you more powerful? Powerful. I don't know. I mean, we kind of do different things. Pirates are more like attacking. They can take stuff from people. Smuggler. I've worked for pirates with pirates before. Have you worked with these ones?

Do you know what the anchor means? They are all in the same chain. Yeah, that's the sailor. What? Oh, yeah. The patron of sailors. Yeah. And he reaches in to his shirt and he pulls out a little medallion. Are you a pirate? No. I just, I'm a… I pay homage to the patron of sailors. We know the patron of sailors, dude. Okay. And he puts it back in his We all… We all… We all… We all… We all… We all… We all know the patron. We don't worry. Yeah, you know, we all feel his…

The guidance of them in the air, in the seas, in the lines. In the flesh. And then Tuck goes, it's actually a he in this case. Okay. All right. Whatever. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, yeah, they're probably just… They just, you know, pay homage to the sailor. No, I got a bad feeling about this. Should be pulling that plank up. Do you think they're faking it? What? Do you think they're not actually… They don't… They're not actually part of the patronage of sailors?

Do pirates pay homage to the sailors? I mean, some probably pay homage to the pirate. Could I discern reality and see if I can see if their chains are the same as Oleander's? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go for it. Great. I got nine. Nine? Oh, yeah. Bill Noculus. Bill Noculus. Hell yeah. Shit. Six. So, Billy looks through the Bill Noculus and looks really close at the chain with the anchor.

And the center tine, like the middle of the anchor with the two pieces that come off, the center looks like it might actually be a representation of a blade. And then the two tines are hooks. Oh, shit. Oh, they're not friendly. Fucking alright. Doesn't look like yours, Oleander. Fucking pirates. And Oleander stands up and he walks over to the wheel. He reaches down, he grabs his sword. And he starts drawing it from his step. No, no, no. What about it? He's like, alright.

We gotta make him think we haven't realized that they're pirates yet. I don't think we're gonna have much time to figure that out. They want toilet paper bad. And we are gonna give him a little bit. Do you know that the longer we spend talking here, though, the more they're definitely gearing up to attack us. And then you need two rolls of three. Ah, you know, whatever you got, we'll take. Whatever extra kind of shit you got lying around. Listen to that. We better go. You know what? Make it two.

Actually, make it every two. Make it everything. Oh, no. I pushed the plank over. Okay, two six plus strength. Nine. Nine, okay. So you push the plank into the water as Oleander reefs on the wheel, trying to like tip the front of the boat away from their boat. But a couple of them are able to like leap over the side onto the deck. No. Tuck picks up a giant crate of empties that's on the, it's like a recycling bin full of empties.

He just whips it at the guys that jumped across to see if he can stop them from getting. Yeah, two to six plus. This might be dexterity because you're trying to hit people like hit targets. Okay. I was going to return those. That's like 250 in bottles, man. Recycle. Like 11. Yeah. So I would say that four were trying to jump over and two of them were a little too close together and that you stop their momentum right in the air.

The bottles crash into them and they fall into the water with a splash. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to die. I'm going to fall into the water with a splash. Nice. Yeah. Two of them. I'm going to go fight with honor, roll plus con to get some hold. Yeah, totally. 10. 10. Okay. So that's three hold for a fight with honor. Yep. And I assume you're squaring off with the other two that landed on board.

I'm going to cross a distance between myself and a foe bypassing all obstacles and then deal damage to them. Yeah, that's perfect. I'm going to run and grab a rope, like Superman style and swing fist forward and just knock them out of the air like that. Perfect. Swing around. Roll your damage. Three. Yeah. So you knock one of them right into the water, continuing your momentum on the rope, swinging gallantly through the air, landing back onto the deck.

But the one remaining pirate who jumped first lands on the deck. He's got two hatchets. He's got really big arms and he's like, ah, real piratey shit. I want to grab a, like an empty sack where there are more cans. There's so many. So many bottles. Containers. It's like a bottle depot around here. Yeah. Grab a cloth bag that had a bunch of cans in them. Bottles. Uh huh. No, and cans. He's found like carbonated sealed beers somewhere. And I leap on the guy and try to put the bag over his head.

Perfect. Nice. Give me a defy danger dexterity to even like get up on this guy first. Eight. Okay. So the eight, like he sees you coming and he starts like swinging his hatchets at you. So you can continue onto him to do the bag thing with another roll and get hit. Or you can stop right now and avoid his attack. No, I want to get him with the bag. Okay. Roll a D6. Four. Four. He nicks you with his blade on one of the hatchets dealing four damage, but then you're on top of him.

And now roll, I guess, dexterity again to get this bag on him. 12. Yeah. It's got a drawstring on it. I tighten it up. I'm like hanging off of it. Look at what I cut. Yeah. It's around like his knees. So he's like, whoa, it smells like beer in here. Billy, you're bleeding. Billy, you're bleeding. Oh, I'm fine. It's just sauce from me. You mean blood? He means blood. Just to minimize his injuries by calling stuff sauce. Don't worry. It's just Billy sauce. I'm just miracle whipping out of my eyes.

And you hear as the last pirate that made it over the first time is taken care of. You hear a real classic. Yar, yar, yar, yar. As a bunch like swing over on lines. Oh, what the fuck? And try and. Try and land onto the boat. Tuck looks around for something to use to fight these guys off. And he realizes very suddenly he carries a battle axe with him everywhere he goes. Oh, right. Oh my God, I got to find more empties. He grabs a slice of his memory in which contains a battle axe on his back.

And then Tuck picks up another container full of Tupperware containers this time. Yeah. No lids. No lids. Not a single lid. I know. All of this is garbage that they were planning on throwing away. It's all these ones. They got fucking sauce in them. And then the sauce never comes out. Only Andrew's a bit of a hoarder. A little bit. You know, you know, I mean, it's not hoarding if I'm preparing for eventualities. Divorced dads are always holding on to garbage that they're going to eat out of.

It's not garbage if I have a use for it. We're telling you, don't hoard on board. There's such limited space on the Sunrunner, too. Like, it's not a big boat. The crew talks about it a lot. They're like, he's really holding on to it. There's like six mannequins in the back. He said he was going to make like a coat rack out of them, and he still has it. So you grab a crate full of old Tupperware. And I grabbed the biggest Tupperware and I pull it up as a shield.

And then I grabbed the ax off my back. Amazing. And then I go, I want to fight the biggest guy. Is there a big guy swinging? Yeah, there's a big guy. He's got a big pole that looks like it's a club. Is it Fatim? No, it's just a club. Okay. It's just a big guy with a stick. And he's missing one eye. And he's got a patch on the other one. And Tuck goes, Fatim, is that you? Har! Oh, be Fatim. And Tuck is like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. You look like a guy I know.

And the club begins whistling through the air towards your head. Tuck blocks it and then smashes him in the face with the head of the ax. Okay. That sounds like defend. So I'm going to roll. I'm going to get you to roll defend. Oh, finally. I'm making it happen. Yeah, you are. This is great. So 2d6 plus constitution. Okay. So that's it. That's it. 2d6 plus constitution is three. So nine. Okay. So on a nine, you hold one. Redirect an attack from the thing you defend to yourself.

Have the attacks effect or damage. Open up the attacker to an ally, giving that ally plus one forward against the attacker or deal damage equal to your level. I'll deal damage equal to my level. Okay. Yeah. Oh God, what's your level? Eight. This guy's toast. There's, you know, people don't have a lot of hit points in this. Yeah. So yeah. So you're just whistling through the air towards your head. You block it with the ax and then just whack them in the face. Yeah. Yeah.

With the head of the ax, like the broad side of it. And he gets smoked right in the teeth. He didn't have many teeth to begin with, but the ones that were there fall out. It sounds like they clatter all over the deck. It talks like, fuck, I'm sorry. I was going to kill you. And then he splooshes into the water and the crew has begun battle fights happening all over the deck. And Maggie comes fucking charging up from below deck and shoulder checks a guy into the water, just full up.

And she's like, finally, she's just beating the shit out of a guy. But Ollie is trying to get the ship away and you need to hold off these people to give the boat enough time to kind of get under sail. They're not trying to catch us with their helmsman. Are they trying to chase us in the boat? Yeah. They're trying to chase you. And like every once in a while, a rope will like fling over the deck. Yeah.

It's like a rope will fling over the deck with like a grappler on it and it'll slam and try and grab onto something. I want to use my superior technique in my fight with honor. Yeah. To deal damage to a foe within sight. Yeah. As long as you can see the helmsman, which you can, like you can see someone at the wheel. Okay. I want to try that. Okay. So you just spend your hold and deal your damage. Great. My damage is a D6 and I guess because I'm using nature's fury, I get a D10. Oh yeah.

It's a D10 instead. 10. That's a 10. Yeah. That's a 10. Holy shit. So yeah. What, how does Ving do this? Describe it. I guess he pushes with the water. Mm-hmm. Fucks with the rudder. Cause that's what he's holding onto the wheel. Yeah. The wheel controls the rudder. The rudder. So then he just takes the rudder and like the water around the rudder moves in opposite direction and flings the guy off the boat. Just like, whew. Cause the wheel spins. Nice. The wheel spins and he's holding on. Yeah.

He's not expecting it. Yeah. He gets tossed right into the water. You hear a splash and a scream and the rudder is like, a 10 is a lot of damage. Yeah. And then there's like a crash as Ving like grips with the water and just destroys the back of the boat. And the guy with the glasses is running around on the deck going, no fucking shit. Son of a bitch. Fucking boat no.

And the rest of the pirates who are fighting on the deck are like looking over and going, oh boy, our ship is being destroyed and we're stuck on this one. And we're all just like. Yeah. So the pirates that are on the deck. They're fighting with a renewed vigor, realizing their lives are hanging in the balance. I'm still hanging off that bag. Still? Are you killing this guy? No, I'm just keeping him for later. Whatever. I don't know.

Billy, you hear a as you start seeing like the blades of axes poke through the material of this bag. Whoa, what are you doing? Get off me. I'm trying to get out of here. Do I have a move where I put them to sleep? Yeah. It's fairy dust. Okay. Fairy dust on this guy. Chan? Hell yeah. And I'm. I just sneeze on him. And I think with a 10, you get to choose three from the list, which I believe is they'll stay asleep for a long time.

You can do it to a group of people and you can do it from a distance. Stay asleep for a long time and a group of people. Yes. Big sneeze. Amazing. Cause it like usually just fake it, but this one was actually real. Yeah. He's wearing a lot of perfume. This pirate. He is. This is a very perfumed boy. He is covered in dracar noir. Oh yeah. It is like being in line outside of touch nightclub. It is like being in line outside of touch nightclub. It is like being in line outside of touch nightclub.

It is like being in line outside of touch nightclub. In Hamilton. 1998. And the perfume gets up inside your nose and you go, huh? And it's a huge, like pop of fairy dust that extends over the whole deck. Gesundheit. The pirates fall asleep. The one in the bag slumps to the ground. And even a few of Ollander's crew members just like hit the deck and start snoring. Teck and Vinger just like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's not evil. It's like, no, but we don't have fun.

We're gonna fall asleep halfway through a fight. I guess. It's fine. It's normal. It's a part of your body, but we just don't want to get touched by it. Wasn't embarrassed until now. Sorry. Hey guys. Ollander? What's up? Did we win? Yeah, we won. All right. Can we get the anchor up? Is that guy? Hey fucker. And he yells across the water and the guy's just like, ah, oh no. Like bailing. You see him running up and down between the ship. Just throwing a bucket of water.

Things throwing sleeping pirates back on their ship. Oh, you're tossing it back on. Yeah. And that yeah, bodies are hitting the deck or the water or the side of the boat. Let's get a move on. Fucking you big man. Get the anchor up. What are you doing? Do you want me to pull the anchor up? Oh no. I want you to stand around and ask me about the anchor some more. Why are you being a dick to me? I'm stressed out. You sound like beer smells. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out.

I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Yeah, Billy's got the, he's like hanging from the capstan. Like, go, go.

His legs are just. I got 12. Yeah, you grab the chain and haul it straight up from the water. You're fused fucking rippling in the gray light of day. Yeah, there's a rare beam of sunlight that cuts across the scene. It glitters off of the pectorals and the abs and the obliques. Like, you can really see like that lower and upper triangle on my back as I haul stuff up. And for a moment, everyone becomes still as they look at the poetry that is the human body in full bloom. You hear the baby oil.

You hear the pirate on the other ship go. You know what? I can't go against that. He's a specimen. It's beautiful. Talk your baby. And then Tuck's like, thanks. And then he hands only under the entire anchor and let's go. He just drops it full on onto the ground. And he turns the wheel and you start. He's sailing away and he goes, ha, no one will ever catch Captain Oleander Dreyfus.

And he grabs a bottle that he was drinking from and throws it with all his might directly into the ground at his feet. It shatters. Let's go, boys. And you sail off into the gray, having escaped the pirates. And then Tuck goes over to Billy and Vick and he's like, good job, you two. You too, bud. Do you feel like Oleander's drinking too much? Do you think that maybe we should take away his command of the ship? Should we mutiny him until he's… Sobers up a little bit? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

And you hear Oleander. Did you say mutiny? Completely sober. We're just saying, I think you're a little too under the influence to be making decisions for the entire boat right now. Not anymore, I'm not. I hear the word mutiny. My brain's firing on all cylinders. All right, mutiny, mutiny, mutiny. Let's get out of here. I got my eye on you. Then I mutiny on your mutiny, mutiny. I swear to God, if you try and mutiny me, I'm going to counter mutiny you so fucking hard. I mutiny. You mutiny me.

You mutiny me in your sleep. You better wake up and mutiny me. Every time they say mutiny, they get closer and closer together until their noses are touching. It's like one of those kinds of fights. And Oleander's quite a lot shorter than Ving. He's like 5'8". He's poking me in the chest. Mutiny you, mutiny me. I'm going to mutiny the shit out of you. I'll mutiny the shit out of your shit. You better mutiny with one eye open. You better mutiny and wipe twice, motherfucker. Go pull that line.

I will, Captain. Salutes him. Goes and pulls the line. All right. He snaps his fist in a salute on his chest, delaying some sort of previous naval experience, perhaps, and goes back to the wheel. And the day continues without incident, though you see Oleander reach into his shirt and kind of like rub the anchor medallion around his neck as he sails. Is that like a thing for luck? It's like a religious thing, I think.

I mean, as much as the patronages are a quote-unquote religion, yeah, I guess so. It's more just like it's just reminding me that there are a billion billion sailors that came before me and we all are united in our mastery and love of the sea, you know?

And he's actually warmed up quite a lot to Billy because everybody does eventually, but he really throws on this like kind of cool like dad thing around Billy and you're not really sure why, but he's like, yeah, you know, it's just a little medallion reminds me what I do. Where I came from. That's cool. I just imagined Billy like sitting kind of on like the little box in front of the wheel like hanging out with. Yeah, totally. Where'd you like?

What was the kind of your favorite food from where you come from? From where I come from my favorite food. Oh boy. You ever had? So there's this thing that we have. It's called a fuck. It's called like a grapka. Uh-huh. It's like a disc of flatbread and then you cut the bread open and you create like a pocket. Yeah. And then you put like meat and vegetables and sauce and it creates like this little pocket of bread. Nice. When we get to port, I'll make you some stuff. I'll get the stuff for it.

Do you have any weird dreams ever? Like, oh yeah. Oh, hello. Weird dreams. Why do you have weird dreams too? Totally. And do you ever wonder if dogs have thoughts? We're kind of bouncing around topics a lot, but yeah, I guess so. Why wouldn't everybody has thoughts? That's a good point. What about cats? Yeah, definitely. No, actually. No, cats don't have thoughts. I don't know. Ving says they do. Ving would say that though. And also, why did you, why did your wife leave you? Oh boy.

That's a big question. Whenever I ask, you always change the subject. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess if I had to, if I had to pick one, it's kind of because I became so committed to my job that I started thinking of myself as like a smuggler first and a husband second. At a time when we really needed that support in each other.

And she just kind of grew further and further apart from me because I mean, she had her own things like she had her, she had her textile business and that was really important to her. And I respect that. If I had to pick a second answer, it's because she fucked my brother. Whoa. Well, yeah. Anyway, any follow-up questions there, little guy? Let me think about it. Okay. All right. I'm going to keep sailing while you think. Cut to us for a second. Yeah.

We're below decks trying to organize an intervention with the rest of the crew members being like, he's drinking too much. Okay. Billy's up there distracting him so that we can organize this thing with you guys. I haven't seen him leave the helm in three days. How are we going to get him down here? He hasn't slept. He has not stopped drinking. He's purely functioning only on alcohol, I think. I don't think I've seen him pee. Except that one time we peed on that Selkie.

I mean, he has been drinking quite a lot, yes, but he has been operating at more or less, let's say 60% capacity. And Tuck grabs this guy's arm and he goes like, you're being an enabler right now, dude. Oh my God, you're right. I am. I just love my captain so much. I just want him to have what's best for him. Well, then you guys stand up to us. Sweet sailor above and below. You are correct. Thank you. So much for, and he grabs both sides of your face and pulls you in.

Thank you so much for revealing my biases to me in such a kind and supportive way. And Tuck kisses him on the lips. All right. Yes. He returns that kiss fervently. And then Tuck goes, now go get Oleander. Okay, I will. And Abdul turns to everyone and goes, do you guys want to do an intervention? Yes. All right. Paul, you're in harm reduction. Is this a dangerous thing for us to be making fun of? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, this has nothing to do with that. Okay.

So it's, who is this guy that I just kissed? This guy, this guy's name is Darcy Spice. Darcy Spice. I like that a lot. Darcy Spice. Darcy Spice. He's the quartermaster. Darcy Spice. Darcy. I am a captain. Anyway. So what I was saying was sometimes when you toast bread, you know, it just gets too hard for your gums. That's true. That's true. I have noticed that. That's why I like to put toast in my mouth for a little while and let it sit there. Me too. It's like, I call it bread soup. Captain.

Captain, can you join us at the blood decks for a minute, please? I have to go to the bathroom. Oh, all right. I mean, somebody's got to, somebody's got to watch the helm though. What I mean is I will watch the helm. Okay. And I will go, I'm just cause I'm just going to whiz off the deck right here. And then I, I will be at the helm. Okay. Right away. I'll be, I'll be right back. Like Billy porthole. Sorry. And, uh, stomp, stomp, stomp.

As all he comes down the stairs and sees all of you standing there, presumably. Yeah. There's a big banner that says intervention. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What the slams locks behind him? What the fuck is this? Trust us. I don't need an intervention. I think, dude, we're here because we love you. Okay. This is less than, this intervention. This is just the safest way that we thought that we could tell you that there is no more alcohol on this boat. What the fuck are you talking about?

We're not a hundred percent sure what an intervention is. So we're, we're just here to tell you that this boat is dry and there's no more. Are you, you're what? You drank it all, bud. That can't be, that can't be true. That can't, oh, oh my God. When we were at four frost, we left so quick. I didn't have time. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh my God. There was only eight barrels. Why did I only bring eight barrels? All the bottles, the bottles are done are gone. Yeah.

What about those weird cans that I found that are all fizzy? Yeah. You drank those. Oh my God. They were so refreshing. And then tech goes, Darcy wrote you a letter. It's true. Captain. I did write you a letter. And the important thing to know is that this comes from, a place of love. There's a safe space. Okay. I just, and he pulls out a little pair of a pince-nez glasses. He puts them on his nose and he unfolds a letter. Captain. Captain. Oh, captain, my captain.

When you drink so much that I'm afraid we will crash into the rocks. I find that your drinking becomes a fear of man, but I do not want to fear you, my captain, I want you to be as good a sailor as you are a friend. And I am worried that occasionally when you drink and say it is pretty bad ass that doing it too much will lead to your downfall. And also the DM of the people on this vessel. And I want you to know that I love you.

Next page flips it over and you see that he actually has several pages. Like, Oh, geez, I didn't write this so fast. And there's a, he's had this for years. Yeah. And we do a, a slow panning montage of him reading the pages. There's just music over it. And you see like it cuts to Darcy and he's like crying and all the Anders crying. And then it fades in and fades back. And Darcy's reading and the captain's laughing a lot and everybody's laughing and hugging.

And then it fades out and fades back in. And tucking Vinger holding all the under back from trying to cry fighting. Everybody's trying to beat Darcy up. And then it fades back in. And in conclusion, captain, we all love you and we want you to be, to be good and healthy and not die until it is narratively or fictionally appropriate. The end. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark.

Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. And then it says at the button, Captain, all the under dry face will return. Dot, dot, dot. And, uh, all he's standing there for a second, his arms crossed tears in his eyes. I can't believe I only brought eight barrels. Well, you did. So, but if there's one thing I know about the dry faces, it's that we get over stuff really fast.

So I think that I'll be, I understand what you're saying. And I think that, if I can go like, by the time I get to port, I might not even want to drink anymore. You know what I mean? That's the attitude. Yeah. One port at a time. I just want to, I want to thank you all for putting this kind of, I don't know, priority on my wellness. I guess I haven't been putting my own priority on my own wellness, you know, ever since my divorce eight years ago, eight years.

And, uh, you know, I, I just really needed this reminder that I'm not just what happened to me. I'm what I'm going to do. You know, I'm the people that I love and I'm, I'm a fucking sailor. God damn it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You are pulls out the, the necklace. This, this necklace means something. It's a top. There's a shot of whiskey in it. Okay. That's the end. That's the last, that's the last emergency where I'm gone. And that's it. That's there's no more on the boat. I can remember.

I got to discern realities when he goes to sleep, to find the rest of it. Yeah. And you know what? I love you. I love you. And he walks up and he hugs Darcy and he gives him a quick peck on the lips. I love you. And he goes to the next crew member and he gives him a hug and a quick peck on the lips. I love you. And he goes to each person in the hold and gives him a quick peck on the lips. And as he's doing it, you can clearly see that he's patting them down to see. Wow. Yeah. He gets to tuck.

And I don't, does tuck notice that he's getting patted down? Yeah, totally. And I love you. Thanks, man. I have no pockets in this. Come on. I don't know what you're talking about. And he gives, he gives me a look at him. Like I have so many vials of liquid on me right now. I really love you. And I think, I think I'm going to be okay. Just then you hear, I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. Yeah. Everybody's launched to the side. We look over Billy's down here with us.

I also wanted to hug. He reaches down and he hugs Billy and he goes, I love you. Wait a second. To the helm. So you, the boat runs aground with this thunderous cacophony of shattering wood. You run upstairs to the to the top deck and you're greeted by like your eyes. You all like shield your eyes. Oh my God. Brilliant blue skies. That you're reading in your ear for some reason. As your vision resolves in the light you see the beautiful brilliant globe of the sun hanging in the sky. Holy shit.

We were down there for a long time. It's like you guys were reading a book or something. And you have arrived upon the shores of the frozen north. That's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz. So long everybody. Playing Bing the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers. Take care guys. Playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai. Bye everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music.

You can find all of the music composed and performed by Aaron for the show at the Spoutlore SoundCloud account which you can look up and you can check out Aaron's album Healthy. Healthy by ACR which you can find at Aaron Reed A-A-R-O-N R-E-A-D dot bandcamp dot com. Thank you to all of our supporters around the world for supporting the show. If you want to support the show and get access to a bonus campaign tons of audio content merchandise, postcards, a whole bunch of shit.

Check us out at Patreon.com slash Spoutlore or Spoutlore.com slash money please and we'll see you next time. Spoutlore.com Spoutlore.com

Hey, Tuck here. We're running low on funds because Billy dropped our fanny pack into the ocean and that had all our money in it. Please go to patreon.com slash speltlore to donate more money to us so that we can replace the fanny pack. Also, mirrors. We need to buy new mirrors. Where did we get that guy? Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed.

Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in bread. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close for the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Speltlore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hi there, guys. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica. Hello, everyone. Each member of Speltlore put down their phones at the exact moment they began speaking. Except Jessica. Except Jessica. Jessica's still doing something. I'm playing Wordle, everyone, before I forget to. Before you ruin your streak. Yep.

When last we left our heroes, they had been given an unceremonious ceremony in which they were asked to leave Hibernia under a gash in which Ving agreed to kill the man known as the Ranger King. That's what we know. Mm-hmm. They began their quest into the gray, and we found ourselves alongside a vessel of unimaginable folk. Yeah. We weren't sure if these people were friendly or not.

Billy put a smiley face drawing in a bottle that Tuck whipped over onto the other ship, professing friendship as they came alongside, initially revealing that they were all wearing identical necklaces in the shape of anchors, which Oleander also had one, which he described as the symbol of the sailor that he pays homage to.

And presumably the others did too, until Billy, using his Billnoculars, looked close, using Trap Expert, determining that these folks were in fact pirates, as their sailor medallions were in fact the shape of a sword wreathed by two hooks. Pretty cool. Thank you. I was pretty fucking pleased that I came up with that. Thank you. In the moment, I was happy with it. The battle was joined. The pirates were vanquished. Oleander, three sheets to the wind. Absolutely fucked. Yeah, he got so drunk.

Mm-hmm. For almost no reason, it seems like, but he was stressed. Just stressed. Yeah, he was just hitting the stores. And Billy and Oleander were having a nice, friendly, varied conversation on the deck of the ship, which was then revealed to be a distraction tactic, as Ving and Tuck planned an intervention for the captain below decks. Slash an inventory of how much booze was left on the boat. Yeah, mostly just letting him know that there was no outing. There was no alcohol.

And then Oleander kind of turned it into an intervention of his own. With the help of his quartermaster, and it sounds like maybe best friend, Darcy Spice. Yeah. Darcy Spice. The intervention was a hit. Everybody got a hug and a- Super- Oh, I was gonna say, everyone got super drunk. Everyone got wasted in celebration. We gotta stop getting drunk at these things. It is now, therefore. That'll work. Two steps forward. Everybody got a hug and a peck.

Including Billy, who came down for a hug after promising to steer the ship, which then aggressively ran aground. The crew went to the top deck and discovered that they were ashore in the frozen north. And that is where we find our heroes now. Well, you did it, Billy. You did it! I did it! What the fuck happened? Well, we're here. Says Oleander. It was easy. What do you mean? I just, like, whirled it around a couple of times. Like, you know, when you spin the thing, you go, vroom! There.

You go, and you go the other way, like, vroom! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like a sailor. That's not what you're supposed to do. Uh, well, tell that to yourself, because I clearly got us here when you couldn't. And he looks behind at the ocean, which is, of course, shining a brilliant blue because of the bright blue sky. It's so bright. It's so bright. There's icebergs in the distance, you know, like, just huge chunks of ice floating. Snow-covered coastline, trees, forests, the whole deal.

You could see a pod of orca whales breaching. Yeah. Yeah. Not a shred of fog to be seen. The gray is so far away from here. And then he kind of dusts his hands off, puts his hands on his hips, and goes, well, I guess my job is done. That's the sun runner for you. Yep. Fast as all hell. He reaches down and he pats the side of the boat. Atta girl. Chunks of the bower falling up as a massive hole falls out of its listing one side. She's beautiful. Beautiful as the day I stole her. Sorry, bud.

Anyway, so we're here. What now? Well, I guess is that goodbye? I guess kinda. Where the fuck are we? I mean, yeah, I don't know where we are. Wait, is there a town nearby? Can I? Yeah, go ahead. Discern realities. Two to six plus wisdom. Okay. Well, that's five. I'll aid because I'm from here. Nope, can't. It's five. It's four, actually. Okay. Oh, yeah, right. I have a debility to wisdom. Okay, then, unfortunately, it looks like wherever you beached yourself, no towns in sight. Shit.

Well, I mean, is there anything I can discern realities of where we are to see if Ving knows the shoreline? I want to use something like digging through the ground to see how deep the snow is or how what color the ice is or see if there's any plants around to see if I can determine the region. Does that make any sense? Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Oh, well, go off the Orcas. Orcas are only as certain part of the bay this time of year, this time of day. Nice. Eleven. Okay.

So you get three questions off the list. What should I be on the lookout for? So, yeah, Ving, you know that like you look down the coast and you can see the edge of the great forest and the like wooded mountains that make up the majority of it. So, you know that instead of landing close to Adarnax Tower, you have like a little bit of a chance to get to the top of the mountain. You have landed much closer to the great forest than you intended to in an area called Beecher Straight.

So, you are not only quite far from human habitation, but you're very close to elves. I'm really sorry. I saw snow, so I thought I'd pull over. That's great instincts. Well, we're here now, then, I guess. So, this is Ollie. So, what am I, what do I, what do we do? I mean, we don't want to be too close to the top of the mountain. We don't want to be too close to the great forest. So, do we, I mean. I mean, we're kind of at a crossroads. We need to go north to get to Adarondack's house.

No, Adarnack Allwater. We have to go north to get to Adarax place. But we have to go south to murder the man that we have to kill. Right. I feel like we go north first. And hopefully that we make it back in two months, right guys? Yeah. Looking around nervously. I think we can go find this glacier in less than two months. Like on foot? Yeah. Or is there like a north-south trade route maybe that runs? Can I use Bardic lore? Histories? Oh. Because Oldshire is old. Uh-huh.

Is there a north-south trade route that runs to Oldshire from like the coast here? Can you read Bardic lore real quick? When you first encounter an important creature, location, or item, you recall, covered by your Bardic lore, you can ask the GM any one question about it. The GM will answer truthfully. The GM may then ask what legend, song, or tale. Okay. You heard that information in. Yeah. So I guess that I suppose that applies. Yeah. This area. Yeah.

There is a trade route that connects the principalities to the north. It goes through the frozen mist mountains. It goes through the frozen mist mountains. Yeah. And it's probably not going right along the coast, but it must be kind of close by. Like if you're in the north. There should be like an outpost or a fort or something somewhere. You would assume so. Yeah. Okay. So where did you hear about this road? I heard about it in a map. In a map. All right. Perfect.

You remember seeing a map and there's a road there? Yeah. It's one of Tuck's very few very clear memories. You know how sometimes our memory will just register very clearly and it'll be like, why is this just in my fucking head? Just in my fucking head. Yeah. It's the same thing where he was just like at a Barnes and Noble and there was a map on a wall of like the frozen north and he was just like, okay, there's a road. There's a road and now to find nonfiction erotic thrillers. Nonfiction.

You mean Penthouse Forum? Yeah, I guess so. What are the most thrilling erotic things that really happened? Perfect. So what's the what's this road called?

I think it used to connect like there must have been whatever like overarching government there is in the north, which we don't actually know anything about must have been like allies with the kingdom of Kinos back in the day and that's when this road was built was like you could just be there used to be people that had to took a lot of goods back and forth. They were known as the truckers and this is the ice road. No, it's the ice road.

It's the most the most dangerous for the most dangerous man. They were known as the trackers. So there's ice road trackers. Yeah, I think that it's a it's a profession that still exists. Yeah, they have huge blades on their giant on their. Oh, yeah, they ride the sailboats the boats that yeah, yeah on the other side of the frozen mist mountain. Yeah, yeah, I love it. Ice boats. That's what they were called. Sorry, the ice boat trackers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So if you go east, you should eventually hit this road. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what you know, but Ollie, is like I we're going to need to make repairs for sure. I either got to leave the boat here or I got to leave you here. There's a mill to the south. If you just stick to this straight and go past the end of that island there. Uh-huh. There's there used to be a mill. I don't know if it's still there. I haven't been here for a hundred years. Okay, how about I go to this mill?

You go do your thing and I'll meet you in old cheer. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense because then we have a way out in case shit goes really bad in old cheer. Yeah. Come find me in old cheer and then, you know, I'll stick around for I guess two months and then I was going to say five dollars a day plus expenses. And if I don't hear from you guys in two months, then I'll assume that you're dead. What do you say? Okay, sounds great. I want to give him some money. Do we have any? I don't think you do.

I have 20 coins. You can have that dude. Nice. Okay. Does it matter to you? This is all the money I have. No, it doesn't matter. Well, no, it did until you said it's the all. It's all the money you have. Yeah, but I don't care about money. Okay, then yeah, I'll take it. Okay, here you go. Thank you very much. You can buy a lot of donuts with that. Yeah, I'll definitely be buying donuts with it by barrels of donuts. Don't you worry? Yeah, barrel kegs and kegs full of donuts. No, dude.

And then I turned I'm kidding. I turned to Darcy. I'm like, you got to keep him sober. I will do nothing else with my power life for the rest of my life. Like I was going to die really soon. So who's coming with you? I assume I think just Perel, Maggie and all three. Well, I mean, what would Maggie and Kareem do on the boat? We could use them. We really could use. Yeah, you're going to find like a mender's vault. You probably want the mender with you. We want the menders and we want the wizard.

Well, Maggie and Kareem go and have a conversation and then Maggie comes back by herself. Cool. Well, you have to remember relapse is part of recovery. Go easy on yourself. I'm not going to drink. That's fine. If you do, it's lame. I'm never going to drink again. That's don't say that I might sometimes, but I'm not going to for a while. All right, like a week at least. Nice. And then I'll be fine. Yeah, you're a week away from the closest bar anyway.

So by the time I get there, I might not even want to drink, you know? Yeah. All right. Well, it's been real and he puts out his hand. Yeah, Billy, I ran in for a hug and instead I got slapped in the face. Oh, Billy. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. No, come here. Come here. Come here. Okay. All right. It's fine. I hug him from behind. Oh, hey buddy. You take care of yourself. I will. We'll see you in old sheer, right? See you in old sheer. Dress warm. It's cold. I will. Don't worry.

Yeah, it's really cold here. Texas wearing only a kimono. He's still wearing the kimono. Yeah. Yeah. And his loincloth. And Perel has got like full on winter clothes, like heavy cloak, pants. Where'd you get that? Oh, they're on the boat. No, I'm fine. No, come here. Billy, you're going to need something. Scoops you up and he puts you in his cloak. So he's like carrying you under his arm and you're wrapped in the fur line. Oh, okay. I'm good. Okay. Uh, well, good luck.

Tech puts out his hand to only under to shake it. Say bye. It was nice to sail with you. Hey, my pleasure. And you know what? I think that if the patron of sailors met you, he would think you were cool. Okay. Whatever you say, buddy. And he hops back on the sun runner. Have fun. Don't die. He just stands there because it's broken. I can't go anywhere yet. So, oh, we have to walk away. Oh, right. Sorry. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Okay. It's hard to know who's supposed to leave a seat. Okay.

We'll get out of here. We'll get out of here. We'll get out of here. Okay. All right, everybody. Let's try and find this road, huh? All right, Maggie. Okay, let's go. I'm going first. And she runs out. Whoa. Whoa. I instinctively chase. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And she starts running so fast. I'm running along the top of the snow. Pearl. Oh, my God. No. So far behind. I see you picking up dice. Yeah. Is it a race? I guess so. To see who gets to the outpost first.

Yeah, to fight into strength. Are we all racing? This is just a race. This is just a race. Like, you're still going to have to undertake a perilous journey. Billy, you roll for Pearl. Yeah, I'm rolling for Pearl. Yours is for wisdom or charisma to try and charm him into running faster. And you, Sean, roll for Maggie. She doesn't have stats. She's got stats now. She does. Here we go. Okay, 2d6 plus strength. Here we go. Charisma for Billy, I guess. Holy shit. I got 11. I also got 11.

I rolled a four. Whoa. But I have three strikes, so I got a seven. Oh, what? Did Tuck slip on ice immediately? Yeah, he slipped on ice and the thing happened where you land on your back and then it wins you and you think you're going to die. Oh, no. And Billy got what? Billy got an 11. And Vin got 11. And Maggie got 12. Whoa. So Tuck's so far behind. He slipped because he was making fun of Pearl, but how fucking far behind he is.

And then as Pearl is running past you and you fall down, you hear him laugh like, yeah. He's so happy. He's wheezing. He's like, and Maggie comes to like a casual, like jogging. Stop as you pass, like a stone that was in the field. She throws her arms up in the air. I did it. I'm the winner. I'm, oh, I'm the best. Still got it. Still, still got it. Still feeling. She's like slapping her thighs as she's like kicking her knees up. Strong legs. Oh my God. I got to sit down. She sits.

Um, in my fifties. I might've mentioned that at some point. I'm exceptionally tired now. And Tuck comes up with like a wheezing limp. And he's like, okay, I'm going to need to take five minutes. Cause I can't see in the middle of my field of vision. Let's just hear. And she scoots over on the rock. She's sitting on, take a seat, take a seat. Tuck sits down and Perel waddles up with Billy under his arm. Very pleased with himself that he beat Tuck. Yeah. Uh, so we just ran a bunch.

He used up a bunch of body heat and calories. And he does a quick look around and goes, I don't see an outpost. Any of you, we are in the middle of a frozen way. We can't see the shore anymore. That was probably smart of us to lose the coastline. What's that? Is that a ranger? Is it? I'm just joking, but we ran into this headlong and with no plan. And I feel like that could happen at any time. I don't like these jokes. Perel, I'm going to discern realities. Yeah, you can discern realities.

And we're also going to need to undertake. A perilous journey. Probably where we're going, but do your discern. Yeah. Eight. Okay. Yeah. So you get a, you get a point or you get a question. I could age. Cause then we can move it up to a 10. I just think it makes sense. Cause it makes sense. Like, you know, yeah, right. Yeah. Also Ving has light sight and it's very bright. Oh yeah. You're able to resolve details in the distance. Great. I got 11. Okay. Yeah.

You get three questions off the list now. What here is useful or valuable? To me? Uh, what here is useful or valuable to you? You look into the far East, uh, with your bill nocculars and though very far away, you see what looks like a tiny, tiny little dark speck in the distance with a tiny little wavering finger of smoke above it. Oh, do you see that thing? Mm. Hmm. What are your elf? I see. I can't see it like that. Does it sound racist? Yeah. What the fuck? Sorry. You're an elf. I see. I see.

Um, God. Yeah. You really hammered on that F. I did a hard F. A hard F. Do you want to pick? Two more questions. What should I be on the lookout for? Uh, you would guess probably predators. This is a pretty wide area of tundra. Do we need to find cover? Do we need to find it now? Hmm. Okay. One more question. What here is not what it appears to be? Ah, tuck. You're, uh, still, trying to breathe out the stitch in your chest. And, uh, you're looking at all the snow surrounding you.

Just like, God, so white here, everything's so white and cold. Pie is just piles of snow everywhere. Yeah. That pile of snow definitely moved. Uh, and in the distance you see like what looks, it's a living snowman guys. We're going to be rich. We're going to put them on stage and be millionaires. Uh, but yeah, there seem, there's some sort of white coated, uh, creature of some kind moving. What is it? Thing? What is this? And then I point at the shifting snow, uh, their drift leopards.

Oh, so it's just like snow white leopards. Yeah. Yeah. That live in snowdrifts. Nope. Okay. They just, they just, the way they slink around, people used to think that you're like, oh, that's just a bunch of drifting snow. And you're like, oh shit, it's a leopard. Oh shit. So there is definitely some sort of predatory cat that is like tracking you. It's tracking us. Or it's at least, at least like following you.

You know, I know a lot about leopards and you just have to make big loud sounds and look really big and like flex your arm muscles a lot and they won't really bother you. Are you thinking about cougars? Definitely. Yeah. And it didn't work cause I was always alone. I'm pretty small. So this was Billy trying to scare away the leopard. Yeah. He's like flexing his arms and he's going, Whoa, look at this gun show. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.

I was imagining you had overheard Ving and Tuck at some point talking about how they were going to pick up a bunch of cougars and we're like, just going to flex our arms at them and go look at this gun show. Mwah. Mwah. And that's merging with your memories about how to deal with big cats. That's how you get rid of cougars. Oh man. So is someone actively trying to get this thing to go away? Yeah, I will. I'll go to it. Oh, you're going to go up to it.

Well, I mean, I'm going to go out there and start talking Jaguar to it. Yeah. Leopard. Okay. Give me a defy danger. Charisma. Okay. Eight. Okay, great. So do you start approaching this, uh, drift leopard hunched over in the snow? I see you stay where you are. You want nothing of us. You'll get no thing from us. Oh, I want something of you. What do you want this boy, this tasty little boy. Oh, look at these tri dips or whatever they are on the back of my arms.

So big, especially when I squeeze them like that. Oh, this is Jessica's pinching her own triceps. Just gripping them. Yes. The boy seems to have much nourishing meat on him. I have a whole ab. He's jiggling his belly. One ab. Now, give me the meat and there will be no quarrel between us. No, you can't have this meat. I am a predator. I take the meat I desire. No, I would do when you want other meats. You can't. This is not your meat. Give me the meat. I started walking away from him.

You turn your back and you walk away. Yeah, it charges you. Cool. Yeah, shit. Great. What do you do? I don't turn it all, but because I've walked onto a very thin ice using light as a feather. Oh, so two D six plus dexterity, I believe. Yep. Come on, please. Holy shit. Yeah, I really failed that. Fuck. So we got six. Can I aid? Surely. Nine. Okay. So that makes it a seven. So you walk out onto this ice that you spotted on your way over and tuck in Billy.

You see the second thing starts walking away. This thing like bursts out of the snow and starts running at him. Bang. And just as it is like a clause length away, it falls through the ice. It's front paws flailing in the air and you hear it go. And I go like this. I go like I put my hands up to bow to to to tuck in Billy to be like, haha, sploosh, falls, you crack through, but you hear the leopard is like no, no, I'm perishing. I shall die. Surely I want to save this panther. Wow.

Yes, it's doing that thing where if a dog swims too close to you, it keeps scratching. Yeah, just calm down. Save me, meet, save me saving you. So if I imagine it, try to like get on to being like a lifeboat. Totally. There's a real Niles crane vibe to this fucking snow. Latching on to Frazier. Sorry. Try to. Yeah, he's trying to grab you. So you're trying to help the I take my sphere. That's with the with the rope. Harpoon it out onto some thicker ice and try and pull ourselves up.

Both of us to six plus strikes. Great. I got five. Oh boy. Shit. You stab the spear into the ice and tucking Billy. You saw you see this too. He stabs it into the ice and the force and the power of the unbreakable half and spear holds for a moment and the leopard latches onto your back and goes, save me, meet. Oh, I'm sorry. Save me, meet. Digs into my back. The ice breaks and you dip below the surface of the water for a moment. Shit. I talking Billy. You both see this happen.

I jump forward and I skid to the edge of the ice sliding on my exposed like a penguin. Yeah. And I plunge my hand into the water to try and grab anything. Okay. Two to six plus strength. Shit. Nine. Billy. Help. I help you. What do you need? I don't know. Moral support. Oh God. Six. I say, uh, don't worry about your bulking face. You still look great. And I turned back while he says, as he says that, which is why it doesn't work. I'm like, why would you say that? You want a compliment?

Does it look, do I look fat? No, that's why I said you look so good. And then crashes through the ice. I got a knife. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I got a knife. You do like you, you grab onto something that you assume to be Ving. The ice does crack under your weight and your face gets into the water, which is so fucking cold. Roll a D six. Okay. One. You take like one point of damage from just the sheer cold, but I have two armor.

So does that mean I get one point of health? But the nourishing power of this ice cold water heals your broken body. Now it's just going to be a little bit more difficult. I'm going to go with the ice. I'm going to go with the ice. I'm going to go with the ice. I'm going to go with the ice. I'm going to go with the ice. I'm going to go with the ice. I'm going to go with the ice. It's just cold as fuck. It's like needles in your skin. And then I turned back to be. It's cold as fuck.

And you ha and Ving is in your hand. Basically. You got a thing. And P widz runs a Maggie runs up and pushes.

And she grabs tuck by the legs and starts pulling and then I I pull ving and then I as I pull him out of the water a leopard I'm pulling a leopard yeah and I'm like the ving let go the fucking tiger I throw him down he's not breathing I start performing cpr on this tiger yeah 2d6 plus uh wisdom oh yeah nine I help uh you're gonna help how are you helping I'm helping I'm pumping the leopard's legs I was gonna say you're singing staying alive yeah but I am pumping the legs wow snake eyes roll uh roll a d8 for me do you do the thing that like michael scott does where he starts at the part where it's like you can tell by the way I walk I start way too early three as you're pushing the leopard uh legs it just kicks out with its claws and fucking rakes you across the chest for three damage he's alive but he coughs up a bunch of uh water and he's like oh give him room give him room space and he gets up onto his like he's really low crouched on the ground and he does the thing where cats are so embarrassed how skinny they actually are yeah yeah and he's shivering now because he's like freezing cold I put my wool shawl over him and he calms down a little bit um I offer him some kibbles that I'd save for myself here you go and I throw them at him just start snarfing them up nice sits for a moment looks at bing you have saved my life meat due to the laws of the tundra I now owe you a great debt what tuck is like what the I can't hear any of this I am unfortunately at your service and I accept your service finger guns that tuck and billy and he he bows his head very regally we bow to oh we bow to probably have to bow to and then it's he starts shivering and he haunches low again and lets the cloak fall over his shoulders I would partake of your bright flower which flower you have it oh oh oh oh oh a bright flower a bright flower if you have it Oh, fire.

Yes. Much like Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book, I, as an animal, do not understand that fire is a chemical reaction, but instead believe it to be some sort of object. Can we understand the… Fuck, why do I keep calling it a tiger? We've talked about how the rings… They do bestow the ability… Guys, put your rings on. Your rings are on. Rings on, everyone. Rings on. So he comes in between. Bright flower. Do you command the power of the bright flower? Hold on.

And the ring is like, does this elaborate David Copperfield, David Blaine, David… Spade. Elaborate trick. Because I still have some of the gunpowder. Oh, yeah. So I do this big thing and I have a twig that I lay down from… It's a piece of the boat. Great, excellent. We cut to the boat. And Olander's like, where the fuck is this part of the boat? The dry part that I always need. Snaps in half, puts it down the ground. I command you for the jaguar, for up, for down, for side and warmth.

Give him what he seeks. He shall be rewarded. And a fire springs to life on this wood with the gunpowder. And then Tuck walks up and he goes, yay. And I will add to this bright flower. And he takes out Olander's last bottle of whiskey and just dubs it on. Such power. Such majesty from you, meat and your meat companions. You are truly impressive and I am happy to be of your service. Good. We need something of your prowess. Ah, yes.

But first, and he gets up and he starts, he pads over to the fire. And he lays down, he falls asleep instantly. It's just that. Just dead fucking asleep. This is fine. Yeah, this is nice. I mean, I assume you can all understand what the cat is saying. It does not wish us any harm. No, we're good. Kind of help us. It does keep calling us meat, but probably fine. Probably not going to change what it has its rest. Maybe we just rest. That might be a good idea. Yeah. Take shelter against this rock.

And we can, we can do a little like our people. People are damaged, right? Tuck is kind of fucked up still. Tuck is still. Yeah. Do a communion of whispers while we're resting here. Yeah. So we can do make camp when you, you'll heal damage equal to half your max HP after a couple hours of sleep. If you're going to communion of whispers, it might not be as restful as you're hoping for, but I'm still, still valuable. So when you settle into rest, choose one party member to manage provisions.

Billy, do you want to manage provisions? You're pretty good at it now. Okay. I can do it this time. So this is the same 2d6 plus wisdom and then describe the meal. I got a 12. Then you describe your delicious meal. Tons of smoked salmon and smoked Arctic char. Holy shit. Yeah. Apparently Oleander had a ton of real food down there and he just doesn't like smoked fish. So he said we can have it all. Wow. Yeah. Cut to Oleander. Where is my smoked?

I put it right here next to all the dry parts of the boat and my whiskey. Where is my whiskey? Did we fucking rob a blind before we left? Yeah, we didn't. Sounds like you might have. I asked, I think. He was asleep at the time. I definitely, and then also a ton of like nature Valley, like granola bars stuff. Um, he definitely didn't like those. Yeah. Uh, so everybody that licks their lips gets a plus one forward. Delicious. Delicious. Y'all. Yeah. Plus one forward.

Uh, and if you're bedding down in dangerous lands, which you are decide on a watch order. Sounds like Billy is keeping watch. Tux keeping watch. Yeah. I'll go second cause I have to sleep to not be fucked up. Yeah. I'll take first watch. Okay. I'll take the third one. Okay. Excellent. Uh, and Ving, are you doing your communion? Yeah. Okay. I'll commune with the whispers cause I haven't been in this place for a while. Mm hmm.

So, uh, I'm making note of his resident experience and calling on the spirits of land. And roll plus wisdom. Be granted a vision of significance to you, your allies, and the spirits around you. On a 10 plus, the vision is clear and helpful. Seven to nine, unclear. On a miss, it's upsetting, frightening. I got 10. 10. So you, um, yeah, you sit down on the ice, drop into your meditative state, reach your senses out into the spirit realm. I haven't smelt this like fresh, crisp spirit realm cold.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Into the tundra. And you can feel rather than see this, like pulling back like this view, the scale of the frozen North, the, the rolling tundras, the crackling seas, the powerful forest that marches off into the distance. And you feel your perception like racing through this place, this home that you've left so, so long ago.

And it finally returned to ice stone. Mm hmm. To the edge of the forest, the trees towering above you, through the trees, into the woods, down paths as old as stone, and to a clearing where a man sits on a stump. And he looks up into your eyes. Hi, Dad. I'm coming for you. And he smiles. And then you wake. You think that maybe it's the spirits. Maybe it's the fact that you connected like that.

Maybe it's his network, but you have the distinct impression that your father knows that you have come home. What was the smile like? Question mark, question mark. It feels like a smile that could mean a couple things. Anyways, Billy, you're keeping watch. So you're standing on the rock. Tuck has fallen asleep. His bandages. It's showing underneath the kimono from where the cat scratched him. Ving is sitting with his legs crossed. Everybody's kind of falling asleep.

And you're standing on a rock. Eyes on the horizon. Oh, yeah. A mighty stick in your hand. Roll 2d6 plus nothing. Five. Everyone marks XP. Okay. I'm so sorry, everyone. Shit. Okay. Sorry. Wait. Could I have a plus one forward? Yeah, you could. Because you're looking lips. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you get a seven, six, six. Well, you could. You can use a one of your fairy hold. Remember to make it a seven to nine. Shit. I can. Okay. Sorry, everyone.

I'm definitely going to use a fairy child move to turn a failed rule into a seven to nine. Yeah. And we know that the luck of the fairy courses through Billy and the place around him and the camera wanders across the snow to a pack of wolves. They. Lift their noses to the wind and they sent a delicious little boy standing on a rock. Wow. And they start walking and the second the leader of the pack puts his mighty paw on the snow and the ice underneath them cracks and they all fall into a cave.

Is that actually true? Often the distance it happens. The luck of the fairy protects you this night. But. So I just want to make sure, like in my head, I'm right. Are we in a tundra or is there like forest in the distance? I think we're close to the edge of the forest. So there's like a bit of cover and stuff and then. Yeah. Right. But it is. But it. Tundra head sort of. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought too.

But the great force is still quite a distance, but there's like smatterings of stuff between. Yeah. It's sort of like how a force will thin out as it gets. Yeah. Yeah. And I think the place where we're camped is like there was a big rock that we ran to and then we're just like conquered up against it. Yeah. And Billy standing on top of the rock. Yeah. Powerfully. Like a little moonrise kingdom up there. Yeah. He's doing karate. Yeah. I'm just like keeping limber, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

And actually the wolves, they approach and they go. Delicious boy. And then they see you doing karate and they go. Oh, never mind. Let's get out of here. And they go as they run into the distance. All right, we're going to do a discovery, which means we're going to roll some dice. Okay. Everybody roll a d12. For two to. Okay. And this is not anything that you have to investigate, but you're standing on your rock doing your karate to make sure that everybody knows that you can't.

Be fucked with and you're looking at the rock like you kind of trip a little bit. Uh-huh. And I say myself, it's okay, Billy. No one saw that. There's like an eagle in the distance. Be like, hey, that could trip. Single bird high in the sky. He goes. Oh my God, so embarrassing. You just hear. Oh God, that bird's home. No, and you're from where you're sitting. Now, you're looking at the rock. And oh, this kind of looks like there's like carving on it. Almost. Oh, yeah, of course.

I'm going to look at it. Yeah, and then it's you go to where the carving is and it's kind of like if the rock is jutting up out of the ground, like a little bit of this carving is visible and comes out of the ground at like a 45 degree angle. Oh, I take the stick. I'm waving around. I start digging. Yeah, and the dirt Falls inward. Oh, like a cave some sort of chamber. Who's a no one else is awake. No, not a single soul. Do I wait? It's right there. It is right there.

Maybe I just go a little bit. I just make sure. Yeah, just make sure I can still see them. Kind of if you go in you will not be able to see them like they're on the other side. All right. Like they're out of sight basically. I'm going this cave. It's don't say anything if it's okay. Thanks. That's exactly what I do. Yeah, silence. Give me an implicit. Okay to go in this hole because you didn't stop me. I'm going into the cave. I will be back very soon. So you shove yourself into this hole.

It's pitch black inside. Of course. Yeah, I take out my willow the wisp. Yeah, a little tinkling Bell. Uh-huh. Harold's the arrival of the cat that is made of light and it begins walking. It just kind of circles around you and reveals like it's a combination of actual worked stone and then like dirt that has fallen into this entryway over. However many years can I read anything that's engraved? No, nothing.

That's like fairy like it's definitely there is language here, but more of the like I can't read this language than anything. But there's just a sweet beckoning cave before you. Oh my God, definitely not going to wake up anyone that could help right now or stop you from doing this. Well, I think they would like if I dug out some of the dirt. They probably really like that. You're just going to start digging out the entrance. Yeah, Billy is an idiot. 2d6 plus strike. Okay.

Eight you start digging out whole like just dirt. You're like taking handfuls of dirt and pushing it. Behind you deeper into the hole. If you actually want to dig this out at all, you're so small in the dirt is so big that it'll probably take you the better part of the night. That's fine. I know Perel will carry me many hours past of you scooping like tiny little handfuls of dirt down to this ancient hole and eventually the sun rises on the tundra. Which one of you wakes up first?

Definitely thing because I am still shit house from like the last few days. I'm fucking stuff that's happened. Yeah, totally. So then you wake up out of your elven meditation. You look to the rock Billy's nowhere to be silly that wakes me up. Tuck is up in a heartbeat. Yeah, like jackknife. I do a sitting position over the rock. I could have went around it easier. I'm over top of the rock. He's nowhere. I can't see him. I see the hole. Yep, Billy's in the hole. I run a hole again.

Tuck is run around the rock. He's like, oh God, not a hole again. What does it say in the rock discern realities? Wait, okay. So you get one question off to certain realities. Who's really in control here? Oh, that's a cool one. Yeah, that's an interesting way to do it. You look at this stone and you have the same realization that Billy did especially now that more of the rock is revealed. This isn't a rock at all. This seems to be an entrance to some sort of structure.

You see writing that seems elvish but of an older older style and you remember vaguely from your academic lessons as a prince of the boreal reach that. This is a dialect that was used by the dark elves. Whoa, fuck fuck. Yeah, when big tells me that fucks tucks just like fuck word. I jump in. Yeah, you slide into this hole. It's not, you know, it's not too small for you to get into. Okay, and you see the same thing that Billy did combination of work stone and old dirt.

Although the dirt has been moved around in a way that suggests it's very fresh, but it's like, you know, when a cat kicks dirt like after it takes a shit. Yeah, there's just little. Piles here and there as the dirt was moved around. There's some Billy's clothes laid around. He clearly was getting clearly. He was getting sweaty. So yeah, his little capes on the ground. God being things. He's frozen to death. Someone is taking off his clothing.

Oh, he is the first or last stage of hypothermia is what Texas. Oh my God. What? Oh my gosh, what ability comes out? He's naked. So sweaty and funny. Oh my God, my stick. What am I? What is going on? What the hell is going on in this big hole over here? It's a house or something. It's a tomb of a dark elf. It's a tomb. Oh, so I'm digging up a dead body. It's a tomb. What do you mean? And Pirell's looking at the writing on the wall. What do you mean? It's a tomb. What here says tomb?

I mean, I just I can't read exactly but I know that they used to bury the elf scouts out in different spots. They said that the spirits of the elves. Could still watch over them. Oh, yeah, they used to bury them like kind of like close to the coastline so that they'd watch over the land forever. Mm-hmm. They're like ancient like forever watchtowers. Yeah, Texas. Yeah, I've heard this too as he's like putting Billy back into his pants. He's like leg leg.

No, you put them in the same leg other leg. I don't have a poem. My pants. I think I go I'm tired. You didn't even say thank you. Look all the work. I did. Oh God, he's gonna be like this all day. So grumpy. Right now. I throw my stick down. No appreciates me here. Billy. We appreciate you. We just don't even freeze to death. I'm so hot. So sweaty above. I get it. You just you just want to find all the new stuff and not include me. What is this? I'm going to find my own hole. Billy.

No, just outside the entrance starts digging a hole in the snow. Take my own tomb and I'm going to die here. Nobody wants me around. Okay, I should stay right back at hibernia. Billy's in a real like just before everybody goes to the airport and home alone kind of mood right living alone. Yeah, before he scampers outside. I do shove his shirt back on and you're shoving it over all the dirt that he definitely got covered in. He's just the filthiest little kid right now. Fine. It's fine.

It's okay. You pick your battles. His parents rather have him dig his own tomb than explore this one. And yeah, and you have this open tomb before you. I want to look around.

Okay, so you go down and you find eventually there's an end to it like goes down and then angles and then down and then angles and then down and the dirt eventually gives way to carbon stone stairs and you see tons of dark elf writing a few embossed like images of archers on mighty elk and horses and battles long since ended Billy. Come here. Look at this. Are you here? Billy's like grumpy stomps down the stairs. Stopping so loud and it's really caroling and carrying in the echoey chamber.

What is it? Look move this the Sun Torch around follow the story written in the tomb. This is an old tomb. Yeah, it's like is it a winter war to you? So you carry. On down the stairs. Okay, and you find eventually the chamber that Vang believes to be the tomb itself. How did dark elves inter their dead sarcophagi or yeah frozen. Oh just frozen like solid. Yeah, like almost like freeze-dried. I guess mummified. Yeah, cool.

So there's a slab of stone in the middle of the chamber and laying on it with bow and sword and armor. Is a like a flash frozen corpse of a dark elf on a grave rob this guy's. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm definitely going to yeah. What's here? That's cool. Yeah, well discern reality for coolness. He six plus wisdom. Why do you guys are tomb robbing with such vigor only one of you supposed to roll this okay, you said all of you guys. Yeah, we can all have something. I just said roll discern reality.

I mean you all picked up your time. Okay, who got the highest role? I didn't roll yet. 10. Nice. I got eight. I didn't wait. I got nine. So I didn't roll. I didn't roll. What'd you get? I got well, Jessica spoke first. Luckily. Yeah, no, that's not how it works guys. I'm going to aid you. Oh perfect. Beautiful. So that makes it a 10. You got three questions off the list sick. What here is not what it appears to be. I think left to right head to foot is the dark elf.

They're laid out as you approach you see them from the side and on the other side. The other side of them is what looks to be a maybe seven and a half eight foot tall representation of dark elf Warrior. Whoa done in stone and wood and looks like maybe even ice like permanently frozen. Ice is a part of this construction. Whoa, it's called iron ice up here. Oh, permafrost basically. Yeah. Hell yeah. So there's yeah, it's stone and wood and iron ice and Billy.

You look at it with a memory like inkling at the edge of your brain and then all of a sudden you have this horrid flash of legions of these things storming through the woods storming across the ice cutting down fairies left and right and you fall back in terror. This is a dark elf war golem. Oh and it is inert for now. We got close this up. I close up right now. Why Billy? There's a lot of good shit in here.

No, but that's war golem and and I I remember those what are there the scariest they kill everything is this like from the winter war? Yeah, and it's not dead or anything if it wakes up. It's okay. Can't hurt you. Oh, I can I want to walk up to it and destroy it. No, no, no, no, no. Okay. Okay, we can get out of here Billy. Okay. You do have two more questions if you want to use them. What is valuable or useful to me here?

I would say Ving would probably notice this because you've seen like for the lack of a better term like museums exhibits like historical artifacts from the winter war field trips like dark elf stuff and the weapons and armor that this elf is wearing are of exceptional make you know that they would be worth a small fortune. Yeah, but would it wake the golem up? I don't think it's worth it. Exactly. Can we spell or what wakes a golem a dark elf goal? Yeah, totally 2d6 plus intelligence.

10 Wow get as important as the custom of burying their scouts was to the dark elves protecting the tombs of the dead was equally important. You would guess that messing with this body or this tomb in any way would activate the golem including robbing it. Yeah, that's the main way. Yeah, including closing the entrance forever. No, you do you think that leaving in peace and closing it behind you would probably be fine. Yeah, I can kind of just collapse the tunnel on our way out Billy.

Should we just collapse the tunnel and call it a day get the fuck out of here. Okay. Okay. I picked Billy up and I put him up on my shoulder. What else should we ask? What should I be on the lookout for? I see him. What should you? On the lookout for I think something that Billy you're trying to remember is stories of the golems and like how they work.

You can't quite remember if they are pure machinery if they're activated by the soul like if they're operated by the souls of the dead basically or if this is like magic or spirit or what so you might want to be on the lookout for if this thing is truly inert or if it has only like not been. Awoken, you know what I mean? Like if it's like the operating mechanism is truly gone just by the nature of magic no longer existing.

What if it's a thing where the mind of the dead elf is connected to the golem and it's always watching out of the eyes of the golem. So like the whole time we've been in here. It's been watching us. That's how it knows if you've messed with it. Yeah, but the tomb at all is just waiting. My God. Yeah. So it's like we're not fucked up because it's chosen not to. Act. I like that. Yeah, Billy.

That's what you know is, you know, that the only reason that it hasn't destroyed you is because it's chosen not to. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Things like look at it. The eyes like follow you around the room. It looks like they follow you. That's so creepy. Actually. Yeah. Now that we know that you guys are just going to leave this place kind of in peace. What a dark elves look like I assume much like the elves of the of the great forest, but maybe with some. Oh, we said their eyes are all black pupil. Yeah.

It's a people. Because it where they live is so shadowed by the forest. That's like almost dark down there. Yeah, they're like a cat in. Yeah, and zoom mode. Yeah, maybe because they're not able to rely on sight as much their ears are longer because they have to rely more on sound. They stick out a bit more. Yeah, they kind of look more like rabbits like their ears. Go straight way further up. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And then it could be also the that's part of the reason why they didn't like mesh.

Well with the other. Elves because the other elves like they're very human like and they emote and stuff these elves like you know how like certain animals like translate emotion by like how their ears move. Of course. So it's like they were usually when you'd interact with them. They'd be like expressionless and you'd be like this guy's a fucking creep. Right? Yeah, but there's just a bunch of like physical cues that other elves couldn't pick up on. Yeah. Yeah, like a horse.

Are they very pale because of their living in the shade, right? That makes sense. Very very pale. I think yeah, because I think thing is quite pale. Maybe because of his mother, but I think that elves in the forest are like a little bit darker skin because they spend so much time like outside and bright light. Whereas the dark elves, of course, are much much paler. Yeah, and their armor and weapons. What do we think about that?

Hmm, because I think that the Golem was crafted to resemble the elf that it watches over. So it looks almost identical to the I think it's ironwood iron iron iron eyes like just all like everything there. Dark wood there. So bows are all dark you or something. Ebony or something like that. I'm imagining that like the style is like layers of scales like scale mail kind of stuff, but they're all carved to resemble like leaves. Whoa, it's like overlapping leaf armor.

It also be a good way to camouflage to like in the wind. They would want to have it move naturally. Right? Totally very light, but many layered armor. Yeah, I like that a lot. And then yeah, he's got a bow gripped like in his hands and the bow is just. Thing as an as an on again off again Archer. It's just the most beautiful bow you've ever seen in your life. I know. Yeah, and Perel and Maggie are walking around just like Perel is standing right in front of the Golem.

Just like looking in its eyes looking at the construction without getting too close. Of course, he knows he's got his hands up and behind his head being like I'm not I'm not touching you. I just want to look Maggie is looking at the armor salivating. I mean we could just dude. No, this thing is awake. All right, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm my eyes are bigger than my stomach. It wants us to take it. Yeah, gotcha. All right.

Well, then I guess we're just closing up this tomb full of ancient armor and weapons forever. Maybe if you're really hurting for it, you can borrow my chainmail shirt and silver grieve. No, I'm fine. I don't even want it anymore. I got it from the tomb of the moon goddess. I've got my own stuff. Is it 40 years old? Yeah, does it work? No. Do I wear it? Sure. Do you want this? I don't even keep your fucking armor. I don't care. I'll Maggie. Do you only want stuff? You can't have Maggie.

Are you clearly I'm not ready to answer that question. I'm not ready in a lot of ways to answer that question. I'm going to go outside. I'm going to go back up and start packing up camp. See how that cat's doing. Oh shit. Cut outside and the cat has its whole head inside. Perel's backpack and it's just like chomping on whatever he can get his hands on meat meat meat meat and Perel G. You just hear Perel like whispering to himself like oh my God, just a base.

It's fucking taking rubbings of the wall like Indiana Jones. Yeah, it's oh my God. This is incredible. This thing is me points at the Golem. I never had I was never much for our canix, but God damn this thing is fucking impressing at it. It doesn't don't that's rude. Okay. All right. Wait, this was built by an Arcanic. Well, I mean not strictly. Yeah, it's too look here and he like points again or he he points. He looks at Vang goes.

I'm sorry eyes wide and he curls it to one knuckle and he points with his knuckle. Look at look here. None of this inside is cogs or machinery at all. It's just musculature like bone like joints regular the they must operate in some way. They just bless them function like an artificial body. They say they're made out of parts of old elves. That's fucking awesome. It's necromancy. Yeah, and in a way that's what that's what like the dirty rumor is and tuck goes.

This is a lot like the Bruce Willis movie surrogates. Oh my God, it's like surrogates. That's what I was thinking about. I was trying to I thought kept thinking the island, but that's the Ewan McGregor one. Yeah, no, I'm with the corpses. Yeah, not the same. Okay, we closing it up. Yeah, Billy's already like doing the scooping trying to fill it up back. Oh yeah.

Yeah, and where we cut to the outside of the tomb entrance and Perel goes, hey, what the fuck and he runs over to his bag and he the leopard turns around and goes like snarls at him. So he just watches it happen as he said. He's sorry. Oh, okay. Well, he's still doing it. So and how are you closing it up? I just take TLC. And I just. Like smash the front door closed. Yeah, and it only takes a few smashes and the entrance collapses in on itself.

A particularly large slab of the roof settles in place and then Billy I imagine goes around and throw some dirt on it. Yeah, and all the cracks are sealed up Billy. What you have to tell us before you dig a secret hole. I didn't know and you're all asleep. It's okay. It we don't mind. We won't get angry. If you wake us up when we've told you that. So many times, you know how much more angry it makes us when you do something and not wake us up, but you don't get it.

How good the whole looked how fun it looked to like go digging and all the secret writing on it. I bet you would have wanted to dig the hole to we know what it's like to want to dig a hole. Yeah, like I love getting in a hole, but we do it as a family. Yeah, we do it together. We climb into the hole together. Not you by yourself in the middle of the night. Surrounded by golems and dark elves and I I say, okay, I promise.

I'm not going to dig any more secret holes in the night and Pirell is standing there and he's holding his hand which is bleeding. What happened to you? The cat bit me. This is an ancient land where the Legends run deep and dangers are a plenty. We must stay vigilant. And we look at his backpack. That is like the cat is left it alone and there's a Dirk Adventureman, but have you been using beef jerky as a bookmark again? It just keeps the pages.

So Chris now, if you'll excuse me, I believe that this is becoming infected and yeah, Pirell goes to tend to his hand and Maggie is standing next to you and says, all right, so I guess we just we pack up and we head towards the outpost or whatever. That is over there. Yeah, let's do it. Okay, and you spend a few minutes grabbing your stuff kicking dirt on the fire. We have wait before we go. I want to go the snow leopard and tell him that it's time to pay his blood debt. Ha wonderful.

I do not plan on being with you for very long. So the sooner I can repay my debt to you the better the time has come. I need your skills of sneaky. Ah, yes. I am a master of. Stealth of the quiet arts and I am happy to do it flashback to you loudly falling through ice. Well, that was a trick a cunning ploy splashing around dragging me down with them crying for help fight for survival. Yes. That is how I remember it as well as more of a just a dying for survival. Okay. All right.

What do you want? Well Pantera, I'm sorry. What did you just call me the name I made up for you Pantera. That's as good as meat. That is true meat bestow upon me my sacred task. I require your wonderful sneaky abilities your prowl prowl ass. I am as stealthy as the night and as quiet as the night. You see that hut up there. Yes, the outpost. Aha. Well, we need to see it too, but you first I need you to be our eyes and so you wish me to return.

And report what I find no need because Ving has marked him mark mark of the Beast. Oh, I the tiger. I marked the animal when I did the CPR. I have the Pantera very nice sweet. So he bows low. I bow lower. He bows so fucking dig a hole. I'm getting below the bow. He starts burrowing underground. This is a ritual. This is we've finished packing up and we're watching this happen and we're going what the fuck is happening?

Like, should we put the rings on let's not bother and then eventually you see tuck Ving is so deep in the snow that the cat just huffs away. Ah, I am nicer than you. I know and I have been bested meat. I shall return on the morrow. Thank you. Or like a couple hours. Bye. Be safe. Me runs off into the snow and tech is like what the fuck I marked him. He's going to go check out the outpost. So we don't have. To now that's smart because then your dad spies won't find us right?

Well, hopefully not like a gun powder whiskey fire. I have a bill into the sky. I would say that's a big that's a big problem for sure and you, you know, you continue on the trek across the snow as Pantera heads off into the into the distance watching through his eyes. He approaches the structure, which resolves itself.

To be to your eyes a collection of maybe six to eight buildings based on the smoke that you can see, but so it's surrounded by a tall stone wall and it appears to be some sort of like outpost trading post just like a way station along the ice road where trekkers stop and pick up goods or rest and he runs around the side sticking to the bushes and behind crates his stealth.

Incredible and comes around the side to like the road side of it and you see a couple humans just like chatting with each other next to a cart. He sniffs and you can smell through his nose like cooking meat stews soups like on the road. There's basically a big wooden door one is open and through it. You can see people milling about doesn't seem like there's a ton of folks but right on the post. There's like a mess.

It's a message board next to the entrance to the place and you see through his eyes a poster that says wanted underneath is your face and that's where we're going to end it for this week. Nice little fuck around episode. Thanks for joining us everybody. I'm your game master. Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome. The Barbarian Abdul Aziz so long everybody playing being the half half druid Paul offers take care guys playing fat Billy the halfling thief. Just get. Bye everyone.

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Yeah, and a whole bunch of other shit merchandise postcards writing bunch of cool stuff. So check that out at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or speller.com slash money, please. See you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost baby for times of rest in revelry. And though. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution.

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P-a-t I'll start over sorry it sounds like a fucking Alta Vista ad gather round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute, a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name, you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight Vig is half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief his tiny size does mask the largest heart best and brightest they may not be but their friendship outweighs their smarts so gather round friends and listen close for the tale's about to start perfect five stars baby welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz playing Vig the half-elf druid Paul Oppers perfect star, five star rating baby playing fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai welcome back to Spout Lore perfect five star rating five stars every day, every night non-stop or higher five stars or higher, welcome to Spout Lore five stars or higher when you're here, you're family welcome to Spout Lore you're gonna like the way you look Spout Lore, get us working for you Spout Lore, just do it Spout Lore in it nothing runs like Spout Lore Spout Lore, just do it where's the beef?

Spout Lore vote for Hillary Rodham Clinton Spout Lore drink Coca-Cola please I would love if our podcast got acquired by the Coca-Cola bottling company that would be really hard to stop it from being evil when last we left our heroes that would be like that would be like if Leonardo da Vinci got killed 85% of the way through the Mona Lisa and then he just drew the crusades in the background or something and then he changed the Mona Lisa to be like yes, crusades one thumb pointing over his shoulder the other thumbs going up welcome to Spout Lore a Lockheed Martin production when last we left our heroes they had beached themselves on the shores of the frozen north, they quickly realized unfortunately that they were quite far from old sheer and cold quite close to the great forest a plan was made in which Oleander Dreyfuss would limp the sun runner to a place where he can do some makeshift repairs and then head to old sheer where he will wait two months for you to return and if you're not back in two months he'll assume that you're dead and he will leave I'm gonna be honest with you guys as soon as he was like I'll wait for you guys to return I had an image of that seed from Indiana Jones where he was like running over the hill and he was like start the plane start the plane and then just like a hundred rangers are running behind you start the boat arrows like into the deck as he's jumping on board he has to throw his fishing rod in the ocean uh, Corrine decided to stay behind after a conversation with Maggie Cole that we were not privy to and Maggie and Perel headed off with you three to find uh, what Ving remembers as a prominent trade route called the Ice Road that heads up through the frozen mist mountains and connects with the ice road and connects with the ice road with the frozen north Ice Road Trekkers that's right frequented by trekkers the most dangerous and hardy of all merchant caravan-eers yeah, and they ride on the the ice boats from Cruel Runnings yes the party decided for some reason to engage in a foot race uh, immediately getting themselves more lost than they were before classic but uh, taking shelter next to a large stone or what appeared to be a large stone ooh oh, mystery sound and it was actually a dark elf crypt oh, dark elf crypt classic yeah and Billy keeping watch by himself doing karate on top of a rock to scare away animals you know it worked with some wolves it fucking worked for real yeah, Billy got so sweaty up there oh yeah he really did and then he tripped and fell a little bit during his karate moves and saw that the rock seemed to be the entrance of a tomb collapsed into the dirt he dug it free a little bit and made the, I think pretty reasonable decision to dig the entrance of the tomb out a little bit instead of entering the tomb fully by himself mm-hmm Tuck and Ving woke up and did not feel the same way at all well, we woke up and our kid was gone you woke up to me screaming our kid's name yeah uh, you found Billy completely nude in the hole covered in dirt cause he got sweaty digging it out not the first time we found him naked in a grave in all honesty filthy in a hole yeah and then the party, uh, plus two oh wait Ving almost got attacked by a drift leopard oh shit, right uh, a cat who referred to Ving constantly as meat but in attempting to trick the leopard into stepping onto some thin ice Ving and the leopard plunged into the icy waters of the pool beneath the cat immediately going from predator to pleading to sad kitty sad cat wow and everybody worked together to get Ving and the cat out of the hole the cat then swore a life debt to Ving for saving his life which would be repaid shortly we would find just so we don't get into the habit I suppose of collecting more companions mm-hmm anyway, back to the tomb we go into the tomb we find the body of a dark elf scout laid out in armor and holding weapons watched over by a war golem Ving recalling a letter from Ving a lesson in which he learned the dark elves had a cultural practice of burying their scouts on the far ranges of their territory yeah as sort of symbolic watchmen and then Billy had a fucking flashback I did Billy had a terrifying flashback of dark elf war golems mm-hmm so Billy pleaded with the rest of the party to not rob the tomb as is their usual method uh-huh knowing that it would awaken the wrath of the golem we learned a couple things we looked at some beautiful elven weaponry and armor Perel wondered at the construction of the golem itself which appeared not to contain any machinery but completely artificial musculature bones, etc.

Ving saying that he heard stories that they were constructed using the body parts of dead elves the party smashed the entrance of the tomb closed packed up camp and Ving sent his life debt swearing snow leopard Pantera uh right, you named it Pantera whoops haha whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whops in the distance and through his eyes watched as the panther slash leopard circled the place discovering what seems to be just some sort of trade post like a arrest it's a truck stop it's basically a fantasy truck stop there's a bunch of like sledges outside yeah yeah humans chatting a wall trekkers everywhere yeah ice road trekkers probably not a super populated place but like you know good numbers of people a husky stop is the husky stop for the actual husky dog yeah there's a there's a husky outside husky stop outside where you feed all your dogs we've never talked about it but there are probably like dog teams up here oh god I love that and perhaps most impressingly on a message board outside the gate a wanted poster featuring the face of ving and he looks bad really mean yeah he looks really really mean do they have a pencil thin mustache on him for some reason yeah cut to that's the thing panther brought back the wanted poster somehow and we're like you look not good in this picture you look old in this man this makes me look like a complete creep guys is this what I look like is this what I put out there no they gave you a scar along one eye oh my god the bags under your eye are like so dark and deep I'm putting snow on my underneath my eyes don't worry not in real life I'm not gonna lie to you I'm not gonna lie to you in real life yeah your your bags aren't that pronounced in real life ving don't worry do I look this angry all the time no your eyebrows go the opposite way they they gave you some missing teeth oh no this was somebody else the ink is a different color somebody blacked out your teeth I have a little tiny mustache just in the middle underneath my nose that's a bad look dude that's not good I can't quite tell why but I hate that mustache what's it say who do we report to it just says report to your local authority if seen yeah it uh it what talk to a ranger no I don't think it's like that but I think it is like report to the like local watch warden or something like that oh cool but you get the idea of thing that this is human stuff this is like frozen north authorities not the rangers what yeah what is the reward uh it is talk what the fuck man I just want to know it's uh five thousand coins five thousand coins holy shit no just listen hear me out I walk like this oh no we're all right we're already on the same page we turn you in get five thousand coins five thousand coins and then we buy the whole frozen north with the five thousand coins and then we free you this is amazing plan we could definitely kill so many selkies with five thousand gold coins five thousand gold kinds would make us fucking bulletproof we could buy that gash and bury it in the ocean if we wanted to I'm just gonna go ahead and do it and look at how bad I fucked up how much money is that's so much money it feels like it's like 10 million dollars uh okay so actually it is exactly enough to buy one merchant ship damn oh yeah still pretty good still pretty fucking good oleander's like what how much don't tell oleander how much my reward is we cut to oleander and he's at a different he's already is that fucking ving at the mill and they have a post that's not ving is no ving doesn't have a little mustache in the middle like that five thousand oh man I'm I'm glad that's not ving because I'd turn him in for five thousand coins no question on one hand he has a wanted poster the other hand he has the bill for the maintenance on his boat he's just like looking from one to the other four thousand nine hundred and ninety nine coins and ninety nine cents I'd have a little bit left over for myself uh smash cut too I mean it is hilarious of course to imagine fleecing the local authorities for five thousand coins but do we maybe want to avoid capture yeah great guys probably yes probably yeah you know what hundred percent I would never sell my friend but I feel like we're in kind of a blue sky sort of mode right now this is true this is true I'm all that I mean most of our tactics in the past have included turning ourselves or someone else in that's true you guys did turn yourselves in once in mccall remember that's how you got arrested and taken to the hearth that's how we found and freed ama yeah yeah and shia shia got the reward for that yeah totally so we've done this before there's precedent set what I'm saying what if like we go in either ving is disguised or we hide him and like we ask around like oh so just wondering like whereabouts would they potentially take this criminal shot on sight then we're like okay we won't go that is a good point really we should disguise ving if we are going into this outpost okay I'll put on this little mustache I make sure I put bags under my eyes uh okay well perellis or no perellis me say ving you might not need to disguise yourself because this poster is dog shit so you might not have to I'm gonna I'm gonna disguise myself somewhat okay how if I might ask what do you mean I'm just you know I'm I know a little something about a little something when it comes to altering someone's appearance and here I'm feeling now I know this is going to sound wild coming from me this feels like a less is more situation and when he says that tuck puts a vampire teeth that he was taking out of his bag ving has taken a handful of soot and he's putting it back down tuck is pushing that to the ground and billy takes puts away the coconut boobies did we raid a discount party halloween warehouse all halloween stores are racist yeah I'm thinking now you're gonna hate this but I'm gonna pitch it anyways okay we cut your hair I'm in oh whoa whoa grab it knife cut handfuls handles off whoa whoa whoa whoa buddy buddy buddy buddy bangs bangs bangs not bangs no it's all bangs oh no okay he gave himself like a weird bowl cut a bowl cut now bullcob page boy goes up across down page boy out like this oh wow oh my god what too much I mean two emo phillips kind of look like emo phillips does it look like a mug mushroom cut or does it flip out like a bell I was imagining like amelie short hair oh my gosh do you look like amelie shave the sides okay down buzz cut all the way down what if you take some of the hair that you shaved off your head and then give yourself a big long handlebar mustache then you'll look like an ice road trekker oh that's a good idea yeah amazing yeah can we get you a trekker's hat I mean her tat and some trucker tats yeah and they might sell trucker hats at the stop too yeah trekker hats here are like russian hats and they're like a lot of them hats they're big fur things yeah yeah but they still have the brim and they still say bass pro shops on the top different stuff yeah cabela's so what so ving has cut his hair short yeah wow big look change right now yeah so now it's like a puffy like mushroomy sort of bob thing no it's all the way shaved down that was a full progression you cut the hair all the way to the scalp it's buzz cut down oh buzz cut oh he had a buzz cut when he was a kid right in yes when you were a kid and then also three days season seven and mccall yes yeah so your hair grows hella fast that's what we know is uh you probably got like a good couple weeks before it's back to its normal leg yeah wait if I'm going as a trucker I should probably have a mullet oh well we'll just put the hat over top oh some of the hair into the mullet yeah perel holds up his hands I can yeah I can work with this oh so do we get like a little beauty montage now yeah eye on candle lit yeah yeah he's doing those weird uh meditative movements but as he prepares and uh yeah he takes a hat that he had and he chews up some resin that he found like on a bush and he takes some of the hair and he glues it to the back of the hat to create like a long mullet on just the back of the brim slaps it on your head it actually looks pretty good thank you so you've got a hat and you've got a mullet and you've got a mullet and you've got a mullet and you've got a hat a long gray mustache and long gray hair beautiful let's change up your voice yep no problem hey I'm not ving I guess they don't know what your voice sounds like yeah I think you could probably do whatever you want in there whose dad's the ranger king anyways what's the deal my mom's alive it's the performance of the century thing way to go and just as you're like getting ready to head towards the trek stop pantera stands before you is my debt repaid meat not yet you dare ask more of pantera I wanted to give billy some sweet what can the oh sweet gift some slippers of his own you desire me to steal slippers from the human people or what if he would donate some of his winter fur to me his under fur yeah and I could felt slippers this is what I was hoping thank you ah I see you wish for pantera's lush undercoat please give up your under fur for winter boots for the the young maid I shall do this upon one condition meat yes name it scratch pantera at the place where his ears connect with his head oh my god goes in with the knuckles you know how you oh yes under for gathering in my palms yeah molding felting slippers our debt is repaid and now pantera returns to the tundra where he lives wild and free and he turns and he begins trotting into the snow ah yes the wide tundra and then he stops and he looks back at you for a second and he looks kind of sad no I'm a creature of the wilds and I shall be free and he runs away come find us anytime you want I will not maybe I will he's gone into the snows well thank you there you go for my feet yeah wow these are like snowshoes you can walk on the snow with these probably you don't have to carry me anymore thank god what I mean that's nice slippers they are wow they're so soft so much softer than the slippers you had on the boat okay billy's got some beautiful new drift leopard slippers oh my gosh I'm walking around like a little prince yep your feet are honestly like perfectly tempered not too hot not too cold and you continue your walk up to the trek stop it's a couple hours walk for sure but you all get here and uh it's nice to be amongst civilization I imagine at least for that's what perel says wow it is nice to be amongst civilization again you can smell you smell that you smell that peat smoke an outhouse probably that kind of hot mossy shit smell oh I missed it I honestly missed it smells like barbecue someone's doing barbecue smells like a pancake yeah I smell a shit pit no no no it couldn't be and perel like runs around the wall of the building okay the outside and he runs to the gate and he looks at the gate and he drops to his knees and he's crying in ecstasy as he sees a sun and he's like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die next to the door that says all day breakfast what does it say and then tuck looks at billy and he's like it says all day breakfast I also fall passed out I fainted and maggie just walks past all of the uh ecstatic writhing that's happening in front of the gate being watched by a couple ice road trekkers who are just letting it happen yeah but uh inside we see we need a table for four and a kid's seat uh okay who's this server hey welcome at to what's this fucking place called ice hop that was instantaneous yeah I'm becky welcome to ice hop uh what are you looking for you're looking for a table for what four I think there's a high chair one two three four five in a high chair five five four no perl maggie uh my friend dave uh any points of uh me and then yeah our kid okay yeah so four and a high chair okay that was a that was a big number for you huh big guys yeah uh sorry no no no no it's fine and she bobs you with the handful of menus that she has tuck turns to vayne and he's like I don't like our server all right right over here and she walks you to like a table and she's like oh my god I'm gonna like a booth look this is a fantasy world we try really hard to paint a fantastical picture for our audience this is a diner you know what a diner looks like she sits you at a booth that's right next to a window could be like a log cabin kind of diner though absolutely yeah yeah so it is the shape and layout of your classic denny's I hop diner but everything is suede log cabin suede but like beautiful woodwork too like everything is so over designed like all the booths have like roaring bears and like trees and mountains they come from pinewood oh imported yeah yeah pinewood imports yeah that's that's the name of the store pinewood imports and it's just the pure one imports oh my god yeah there's like a roaring fire in the center of the diner oh yeah and then there's like a stone over top of part of that fire and that's where the like flat top griddle that they cook all the shit is on yeah the menu is like 35 pages it's so big it's like it's all day breakfast and that's four pages and then after that is like lunch and dinner yeah and senior specials oh and the senior specials are 30 pages long yeah alone they actually give you another book can I start you off with uh some waters and drinks or anything yeah can I get um like mead or whatever oh it's a little early in the morning for me don't you think jesus fuck mead I'm gonna get some water and I'm gonna get some all right one mead for the uh questionable guy in the corner uh what can I get for the rest of you can I have a chocolate oat milk please oh absolutely sweetheart and she pinches your cheeks a little bit oh I don't think anyone's pinched billy's cheeks in the entire show a couple months anything else no I'll have a wintergreen latte please okay all right interesting taste I like it dave uh and perel and maggie both order uh perel orders a tea and maggie orders um what does maggie order butter rum hot butter rum hot butter rum oh can I change mine to hot butter rum uh okay and she goes back and she crosses out one of those are you she crosses out mead very dramatically abdul in real life is so upset okay two butter rums a tea an a chocolate oat milk and a wintergreen latte okay I'll be right back and she throws out some menus and she walks away and you can hear she can see she walks over uh she swings her hips a lot when she walks and she walks really fast she goes over to uh another server and they start talking really quietly and looking at you and laughing a little bit I don't like this place guys I took leads and he's like I don't like this place what's wrong you know what I feel like they might be making fun of us but they're definitely not suspicious of us and they're not of me being a wanted man so I think we're maybe this is the best case scenario is that they think we're stupid dumb idiot hick tourists fine fine I'll stay it's the most beautiful place I've ever been so you're just smelling all the foods that are cooking behind billy's not even looking at everyone he's looking at the hot stone with all these eggs being fried up yeah and I love it because billy in my mind he's turned all yeah billy's in a high chair and he's like completely turned himself around his legs are dangling off the back he's like justin timberlinking the high chair and the cook honestly looks like uh an escaped convict like he's like huge like huge arms t-shirt rolled up big hairy arms big huge guy just taking pokes everywhere oh yeah he looks like he did his own tattoos shit and he's just dicing it up cooking like a champ it looks like he's he's got some real skill at least in the diner world and you're sitting there looking at your menus and you hear jing jing as the bell at the door rings as uh two uniformed warriors of some kind walk in oh shit be cool be cool everyone should just be cool can I sorry no and they sit down at the bar and they just flagged down a waitress who starts pouring them coffee can I roll to try and figure out what they are yeah totally okay okay come on please nope four I got four shit and tuck you're sitting there and uh you're looking at the two warriors guards militia folk whatever and one of them turns around and looks at you and I immediately like hold the menu up in front of my face like we make eye contact and then I'm like nope flip over you tip over a glass of water I'm doing so when I do that and uh and then he also sees me peek over the menu and sees that he's still making eye contact and then I duck back behind and then he just turns back to the bar and continues drinking his coffee um tuck why did you do it like that I panicked I'm sorry now you're gonna have to pretend like you were flirting with him okay it's the only way you're right all right I'll do this okay I'll do this for us all right you can do it and then tuck puts the menu down and he stares at the guy and he goes to the back of his head yeah and the guard turns around and he's like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry and then he turns around again and looks back in your direction and then tuck goes uh dual's got his closed fist up to his mouth up to his open mouth tuck is this unaware of how to flirt with a man yeah he was gonna do a jerk off motion to his face and then he's like no that's offensive and then he dips a figure in the water in front of him and he licks he licks the water off of his figure he's like and then he dips the next figure and then he does it with every finger and then uh once all of the fingers are wet he does one of these wow wearing wig flirtatiously waving all of my fingers roll 2d6 plus charisma nope it's not what the fuck is going on even though I have a plus three charisma I got a five what happened oh my god that was bad and that is what perel says into his hand as the guard gets up and starts walking over to the table hey folks hey big fella you look thick as fuck today I'm sorry officer my friend loves a man in uniform I love a man out of uniform a little bit more if you know what I mean six inches more yeah yeah baggy reaches across and puts an arm a hand on his shoulder and he's like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry a woman runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and christ you're a halfling yeah I thought you were a little human baby I mean I'm kind of both okay but that's where we're from the halfling lands all of you hither and thither but that's where we came from what's your what's your business around here fucking breakfast bro what about you man just in here for a nosh and brought by like the most gnarliest beers in town heard they had some good brews on tap man sorry the face paul made after he finished shocking I imagine making that face just panicked and scared where are you headed what's your business we're on a brewery tour yeah all across yeah the frozen north and then back down along the other side he takes a long obnoxious sip of his coffee all right enjoy your breakfast and you enjoy having maggie just grabs your beard and yanks your head down the table level and he finishes a good day sir okay so I think we can all agree yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes Guys, am I bad at flirting?

Yes. Sorry. I mean, yes. Yeah. No. Unequivocally. Yeah, absolutely. Just with guys or with women too? I've never seen it work once in my entire time I've known you. I think bad's enough of a word for what you are at flirting. I'm honestly not even sure that we could call what you were doing flirting. That's true. That was more harassment than anything. And the fact that you didn't mean to harass them. Yeah, that makes it worse. That makes it a lot worse. Well, how are they supposed to react?

Are they not supposed to look that upset? Here's how I imagine it going down in my head. I would do the water thing with my fingers, and then I thought he was going to reach behind the counter, grab a bunch of cucumbers, and then dip them in his water, and then do the same thing, but with the cucumbers. And then you would grab a zucchini. Yeah. It keeps getting bigger. And then it keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger until we're fucking each other.

So that's how you imagined it going down in your head. That's how I planned it. That was your plan. Your plan involved him having a secret store of cucumbers that you were not aware of, and then returning the gesture in a similar but scaled up way. Yeah. Slowly lifts up a handful of giant zucchinis. Planned. Okay. I've got some drinks here. Here's your chocolate oat milk. Here's two hot rum butters. Here's a nice chamomile tea. So early in the morning. What an interesting choice.

And a wintergreen latte. Okay. Can I get you any food? I will have one of everything, at least. One of everything? Okay. Maybe that's… You know what? No. I want to eat fast, and I'll have a bunch of pancakes. Okay. Bunch of pancakes. I'll have a bunch of eggs. Bunch of eggs? How do you want those? Anyway cooked. Cooked eggs? Okay. I'll also have a bunch of meat. Bunch of meat? Any specificity to the meat? Nah, whatever you got. Just loose. Just loose. A lot. Can I have a lot of syrup? Butter?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Have a lot of whipped cream? Okay. Where do you want that whipped cream located? Anywhere. Not on the eggs. Okay. Not on the eggs. In my mouth, stupid. Okay. And… And… And… Can I have some gravy? Gravy? Yeah, okay. In a bowl. Okay. I have two gravies. Billy, finish the first gravy before you have a second. Fine. You can have a second gravy. Fine. Okay. When you finish the first. Fine. I'll… Is that… Well, I'll start with… For my appetite. Thank you very much.

We are fucking dog shit at setting boundaries. We let him order so many things that we're like, maybe just get the one cup of gravy. And then I have a 10% gravy. I want two! And what can I get for you? I'm just going to eat what he doesn't eat. Your… Your… Voice? Your voice? Your voice changed a little bit. Sorry. I have this… I have a poutine. That's not it either. I'll have a poutine if you've got it. I'll have… You got… My dad here. Oh, yeah. I love… I'm good with the beer.

I'm mostly sticking with… That's the worst. I've got some pretzels. I love… Y'all have pretzel poutine? I'll have… I'll have… Corned beef hash. Corned beef hash. Okay. I don't know if there's an audio setting I can put on this that will make that not horrible. Oh, you have… Don't say salad. Don't say salad. Don't say salad. Caesar salad? Awesome. Nailed it. Caesar salad. It's an interesting choice this time of year in this part of the world. For an ice road checker. Yeah. Interesting.

Okay. I'll see what I can scrounge up. I don't know what we have in the way of leaves, really, but we'll see what we can do. Whatever you put in your Caesars, I'll have that. Understood. Caesar. Here we go. I'm good with that. Okay. What about you, big guy? Can I get, like, 40 eggs and a ham flank? Oh, somebody's in a bulk phase. I fucking hate you. And what about you two? And Perel orders eggs Florentine. Of course. And Maggie says that she's fine with her drink.

I look at Maggie with so much serious… I look at Maggie with so much seriousness in my face. I'm like, this isn't all-you-can-eat breakfast. No. It's not what? No. It's not all-you-can-eat. It's all-day breakfast. What? And Becky walks away. Billy, you just ordered 40 gold coins. How can a little kid mistaking all-day breakfast for all-you-can-eat breakfast is so fucking funny. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. It looks very serious. She's starting to… She's sipping her drink. She's leaning in. Okay. So, one, I'm not sure that we actually have enough money to pay for all the food that Billy ordered. And two, we might have the fuzz on us any time now. What makes you think that? Well, I mean, as a member of a secret society, I have had to work against a lot of authority figures in my time. And trust me, when you get to my age, you get to work. You get to work. What's the word?

Recognize the movements of the pigs. You know what I mean? Do you think we should go right now? I think it would rise more suspicion if we were to run out on our bill. What if we each get up and leave separately and then we convene somewhere else? Yeah, that could work. That could work. But right now, she kind of looks out the window. She pulls down the Venetian blinds a little bit and peeks out. I think we're okay right now. I think we just want to be careful. So we'll eat our food. We'll pay.

We'll pay. Somehow. We'll tip an okay amount because she's kind of… She's really into Tuck. I don't know what's going on there. What do you mean into? You poor stupid boy. She's insulting me so much. Oh my gosh. She's negging you, bro. Well, it's working. I feel negative. And then we'll head out carefully, quietly. If it comes to it, you know, if they make… If they make a move on us, then yeah, we'll bolt.

But we just want to be careful because there ain't really much place to run around here, you know? Yeah. It's pretty flat and white. Pretty flat and white. You have adequately described the environment that we're all familiar with. Yeah. Perel is drinking his tea. This is great, guys. I'm having a real adventure. I'm having the best time of my life right now. Billy's already gotten a small stack of pancakes that Becky did not bring. Well, I can get out of this high chair. Anytime I want. Yeah.

Billy's already made friends with the chef. Oh, yeah. The big tattooed chef. He's mother's recipe for pancake. They're the best pancakes I ever tasted. That secret? Yeah. He's I ground cinnamon, I grow myself. No way. Yes. And he reaches into his shirt and on at the end of the chain is a tiny little vial of cinnamon. Only one peach is need for whole day pitch. Just one? Just one. Just one. He's precious to me. My name, of course, being Oleg. Yes. He's precious to me, Oleg. Oleg Bogdan.

Oleg Bogdan. A beautiful name. Yes. For a beautiful chef. Oh, you're too kind, little boy. No, you have blessed me on this day with the greatest feast of my life. You have blessed Oleg with opportunity to follow his passion. His passion being making pancake for small boy. Thank you. And I love to eat. Food made for small boy. You and Oleg are of one heart, little boy. One soul and one mind. You know? And he pulls the chain off his neck and he places in your tiny hand the vial of cinnamon.

I simply couldn't, Oleg. You must. I know how much this means to you. I want you to have it. I will remember this kindness. No one in this place say Oleg pancake is good. What? The menu is so large. So many things on menu. No one ever have Oleg pancake. I will carry your legacy on with me for the rest of my life. I wish you to do this. Okay. Okay. Plus I have vials of this at home. This is my cabinet full of necklaces with vials on them. Small boy doesn't know this though. No.

I carry it with me in my heart. And then from the table we're like, Billy, can you stop bothering the chef? Okay. I have to go back to my high chair now. Farewell, small boy. Okay. I'll see you later. Goodbye. Dosvidanya. Dosvidanya. How did you know that? Anastasia the movie. No, no, no. How do you know that, Billy? Oh, Billy? Anastasia the stage. He Oleg taught me. The reggaemuffin. He Oleg taught me. Yeah. That's what we didn't see was Oleg being like, dosvidanya means farewell.

In place the time from which is, um, Durvor, I suppose. Oh yeah. That makes sense. We have established as Eastern Europe a fantasy world. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. We have established as Eastern Europe a fantasy world. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. Uh, and Becky comes back with all the food. Billy's absolutely colossal mountain of shit, uh, is placed on his high chair and then half of the table. He got as much food as like the rest of us combined. Yeah.

And he's already eating a stack of pancakes. He is going complimentary stack of pancakes. You don't really usually see that. I don't know. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I don't know what I'm going to eat next. It's just to carry me for two months. She's handing it out. And here's your corned beef hash and eggs Florentine. Nothing for you, frugal Fran over here. And here's your 40 eggs and your ham hock.

I didn't even bring you a fork. I didn't even think you'd want it. Fuck you. All right. Becky walks away. But like doing her fast hip swinging walk. And she looks back at Tuck like, okay. I like you. Got a little fire in you, don't you, big man? I don't know. Maybe I am gay. I fucking hate this. This sucks. Yeah. Do you just enjoy your meal? No, I didn't want to order this. This is not what I wanted. But I'm picking around the corned beef. Like a little burnt pieces of red pepper. I hand Ving.

The garnishes, the vegetable garnishes off of my plate. Thanks, Bill. Yeah. I think you could probably cobble together a salad out of that. Thank you. You're welcome. I take the celery out of my Caesar and chop it up. Oh, yeah. She gave you a Caesar. Yeah. Tomato juice, alcohol. So much celery. Oh, yeah. It's one of those weird ones from like diners where it's like celery with toothpicks in it and there's chicken wings on the toothpicks. There's a donut on top of the celery.

It's a tower of shit. Oh, cool. Yeah. Do you want some of my eggs? I got 40. Thanks. Here we go. Beef hash on your plate. Thanks. And anything like is there anything that you guys want to talk about or think about or plan during the meal? Yes. Yeah. Uh-huh. What should we talk about? Tuck says. Well, we could talk about either Ving's dad. Yeah. Or we could talk about Addernack All Water and how we're going to get in there. Yeah.

Do you think there's anybody in here who knows anything about Addernack? In the restaurant? Yeah. Can we look around? Yep. Just turn realities. Listen around. Four. Probably. Or three. Shit. Oh, you know what? Yeah. I'm going to turn my shitty failed roll into a seven and nine. Hell yeah. Nice. Perfect. Okay. Oh, and you should probably roll your fairy child. Is it tomorrow? Because it is the next day. Yeah. Okay. Nevermind. Oh, no. Six. Oh, gosh. On a six, I believe you get one. I get one hold.

Okay. I'll use it. Okay. I use that. Yeah. You use your one remaining, your tiny little reserve of fairy energy, which has been smothered by the stack after stack of pancakes. Honestly, yeah. At this ice hop. And you, what do you, yeah. What question do you ask off the discern realities list? Finn keeps taking sections of the whipped cream. Like, this is going to be, it's way too much sugar. Oh, yeah. You know what? And cream. It's so much cream. He's going to keep. Yeah.

Even the little amount I've had is like, I'm like. Messing with my judgment. Yeah. You're a fairy child. Yeah. All right. All right. Okay. What here is useful or valuable to me? Like, in the way of someone that would know something about Adderneck Wall Water? Like, maybe, like, there's probably other people here in the restaurant. Yeah.

So, there's like a pretty mousy looking young woman who looks like Ving to you, looks like someone from the frozen north, who is like reading a big textbook, like straight up, just like at the bar by herself with like a coffee, reading a big textbook. That Billy's like, a smart person. A nerd. A nerd. Do you see her? I see the nerd. Ving. Mm-hmm. Should we talk to her? Can we see what book she's reading? You'd have to go up and ask her. It's like laid on the table.

So, Billy, you can't see the cover. Yeah. And if Billy were to try and see the pages, it would look like gibberish to him. It seems weird for Ving to do it since he's trying to be undercover and. Right. Unassuming. Yeah. Oh, I was going to say, I can go do it. Mm-hmm. Maggie reaches out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you sure? Yes. I know how to be a nerd. And then I put my glasses upside down. Okay. Do we have any books on us? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Shit. I have. Fuck.

I have a weather book. I have a book of sea shanties. Oh, my God. Oh, great. We all pile the books into Tuck's arms. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I take one of my leather belts and I tie them around. You know what they used to have back in the day? Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Does anyone else have anything that will make me look smarter? Yeah. Another pair of glasses. Yeah. On the top of your head. Yeah. No, my sage glasses. Oh, yeah. Oh, I have like a tiny piece of fabric that I use under, like for warmth.

And I tie that around like a little ascot. Oh, cool. Yeah. So you look fancy. Yeah. Oh, in my poultice kit, I pull out a little bit of bandage and I put it around the middle of your glasses. Oh, cool. Yeah. Just to show that you are one of her, truly. Yeah. All right. I'm going to go over there. I'm going to talk to this nerdy lady. I shuffle over. Okay. Big fist bump. Pop fist bump to me. Yeah. You can do it. I know. I will. Yeah. I'm going to go talk to her. Just look at what she's reading.

And charm her into giving me some information. Wait. Before he goes, he talks to me and he's like, do we know where the, like, what do you know about the vault? Do you know where it is specifically? I mean, I mean, I kind of do. Like, it's, I've been there once before. Is it past Old Shear? Yeah. Oh, no. It's past Shear City altogether. It's like up and it's like north. West. West from here. Mm-hmm. On the very edge of the continent, basically.

There's a place where the glaciers collide with the icebergs. There's like a glacier coming down from the glacier divide. Oh. And they're driving together and they're like smashing up and creating these big wedges of dangerous ice passage. Yeah. It's called the Jaws. Oh. Jaws. Like, because it looks like teeth? And it grinds whatever goes through. Whoa. Extremely dangerous. Okay. Yeah. And that's the vault? It's past that. Yeah. A little bit past that. It's past the Jaws? Yeah. Dude.

Like a natural defense. That's wicked. Yeah. It's pretty fucking cool. I agree. Remember, you're a nerd. Don't say things like wicked. Okay. Cool. Very interesting, m'lady. Don't say m'lady. Nobody likes m'lady. Okay. Thanks. All right. And then Tuck picks up his books and he walks over. Mm-hmm. He sits, he plops down like two seats down from her. At the bar. She's just reading. We're all watching Tuck. Tuck sits there silently. Ving's miming opening a book.

And I'm miming, like, wiggling the glasses. Okay. Yeah. Tuck looks over and he opens a book and he's like, Creak! He makes a creak sound with his mouth. Slam. Uh, book. She looks over and looks back at her book. And then Tuck loudly licks a finger and turns a page. Sorry, when you say loudly licks a finger, what the fuck do you mean by that? All of his attempts to get information from people involve him licking his fingers. Not all the time, just today.

His fingers are just raw from all the licking. I think we forgot to tell him, like, you can talk to her. I have faith in him. He'll get there. Okay. He's doing his thing. He's a master of something. Maybe not this. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday. And hopefully this. She sips her coffee. And then Tuck starts actually reading the weather book that he's got. And then he goes, what the fuck? Roll 2d6 plus charisma. Because he's never opened this book. Yeah.

And he's like, they're dumb. Different kinds of clouds. Oh, I love this. Genuinely interested. What? Snake eyes! Can we roll a different? No, you can't reroll. No, but like those dice- These dice are weighted fucked. That's fine. Don't roll them anymore. Can I not do that one? No. You seriously want to reroll? Shawn- No. I'm asking. This is- these dice are fucked. Okay, fine. Wait, let me try- roll them one more time.

I just want to see- to see tux trying to act smart you just literally rolled a 10 okay so I guess it's fate and I fucked up I rolled a five yeah uh you say what the fuck and there is a failure beyond the fact that she simply doesn't look up she's engrossed in her reading and I think you feel your confidence fail you're like I can't fucking do this I can't fucking talk to this nerd this is too intimidating I gotta get out of here uh but you leave in your haste you leave one of the books behind oh no you had two books you had the sea shanty book and the weather book you put them down and then you feel your confidence break and you're like I gotta get the fuck out of here and you come back and you sit down and you have a book and a menu okay and I left the weather book behind the more important of the two where's the weather book I left the menu I was like this is oh fuck damn it uh do we see her leave with it yeah you look and she gets up finishes her coffee puts it down reaches over grabs the weather book and walks out the side door can I chase after her yeah absolutely yeah billy's like that's our weather book I steal books yeah 2d6 plus dexterity okay nine nine we can aid by creating a distraction elsewhere oh yeah totally because you got a nine okay yeah maybe you guys uh create a diversion small one small small innocuous I'm gonna um oh nice I got nine okay uh diversion is I drop my caesar on the ground yeah everybody in the diner looks towards your table and at that point I scurry down I run out the door before it closes and the server says opa oh yeah absolutely and she laughs as she does it this chick sucks and billy you dart out the door and uh slip it through it just before it closes watching this woman hustle across the yard of the trek stop and uh she goes out to the gate and from where you're hiding kind of behind the one door that's closed you see her talking to the two guards that were inside the diner and she hands over the book what I'm gonna sneak closer 2d6 plus dexterity seven okay as you get closer like you're creeping like from behind a crate to like behind a wheel behind a husky there's like a dog sleeping on the ground and you're hiding behind I'm like oh so soft so soft you get kind of distracted a little bit as you're petting this dog he rolls over but you hear the woman go yes they're in the diner right now I believe that they are unaware of our surveillance of them but I think that if we are going to and they kind of start walking away if you want to get closer they might spot you I'm gonna get closer okay roll it again 2d6 plus dexterity 10 so as you're standing there petting this husky it miraculously gets up and starts walking in that direction and I say good boy and you're hiding behind this moving husky and then it flops down a little bit closer perfect we could see from the other side of the dog like oh oh we're watching through the venetian block blinds so it's like three slits are open in the blinds you can hear from the other side when the dog sits down and barely stays hidden like from behind watching sports you can see the blinds like shaking and the two guards and the woman are talking okay well if they're unaware of this is one of the guards speaking if they don't know that we're watching we'll just prepare and the second that they walk out those gates we will attempt to detain them okay so I I!!!!!!!

Like sheer city okay then if oleg can sneak us out of here and on one of those then that's the way I think out of here without getting caught okay I've got I've got your bill here here you go I just put it all on one she puts it in the middle of the table start clearing some of these away for you thanks becky a compliments to the chef hey you hear that oleg and he nods solemnly we would like private audience with the chef to give him our compliments what the fuck I don't know bro yeah when you say we would like private audience becky's like hmm and then you say bro and she goes ah there we go uh 2d6 plus charisma seven okay yeah no problem just uh we can just clear up your bill and then I can send you into the back with oleg yep bad news guys everybody that got a normal meal is one coin and then billy is 15 coins?

God damn it that's 18 coins okay I'm really sorry everyone it's okay you ate it all I did but I thought it wasn't all you can eat and it was too late once I found out the truth how much how much money do you have zero oh yeah I don't have I gave oleander all our money you had 20 all of our money okay we had 500 gold coins at one point billy might have a couple coins I do have forger's gold oh that's how we could use up we could so the plan is what to try and pay for your bill with forger's gold yes and what form is it in right now it's like a little vial right yeah it's in a jar so I need some time can you just make a lump of gold that looks like it's huge enough to cover an 18 coin would that work I mean do that yeah you know what let's roll Spout Lore 2d6 plus intelligence so eight eight okay so yeah ving you remember this uh of course the great forest doesn't really have traditional currency which in some cultural way extended to much of the frozen north uh barter is accepted basically everywhere if not on a governmental level like when you get closer to the cities of like sheer city and old cheer we got to talk more about what that is actually like up there there are unified currencies but most places will accept barter just because that's the way it was for a long time so you think you could pass off a lump of forger's gold as enough gold to pay your bill okay I'm gonna um yeah I'm folding up a fork and bending it around the fork just to give it some weight I guess I don't know oh that's smart that is really smart yeah give me 2d6 plus wisdom yeah see if you can do this in a smart way I got six I'll eight squish up the fork yeah I'll help you squish the fork with my stupid big hands with my big hands that I can't seduce a single guy with oh what my god amazing snake island is fucking christ this is bullshit incredible that's fate that's fate baby damn it so we both fail oh no yeah you both fail shitting fuck this doesn't make any sense I've gotten so many snake eyes this episode it's cause you said you didn't want any so you're squishing up the fork and ving is like pouring foragers gold into his hand and like trying to mash it into a lump but it's like sticking to your hand so you got this like layer of gold on your hands and you're both getting really panicked cause you're like how the fuck does this thing work and maggie's like uh fuck uh hey folks I hate to be I hate to be this person but I think we've got company and she looks outside and the two guards are like moving towards the diner shit fuck time to dash can I do escape route but like apply it to her everyone or is it just me uh read escape route for me so when you're in too deep and need a way out name your escape and roll a roll plus dexterity on 10 plus you're gone on a 7 to 9 you can stay or go but but if you go it costs you something so yeah I think with a 10 like I think with escape route if you were to succeed mm-hmm billy would be able to get out without additional rolls and I think it would reveal a path in which the rest could escape but they would still have to like probably roll something to follow you you know what I mean yeah I think that makes sense does that work that seems like the safest way out of here like we're gonna fucking make a ruckus getting out of here anyway I have this gunpowder I'm gonna throw it into his fire get him out of the way good idea oh yeah okay roll your escape route uh 13 13 holy shit yeah so I I tell you guys really quickly what I'm gonna do and I'm gonna say meet me in the back okay I like jump out of my high chair and run over to oleg and I'm like oleg you and I are blood brothers now hey yes boy yeah I really need your help getting out of here anything for you my small boy please lead me and my friends to safety out the back why what is wrong there are a bunch of narcs coming up after us his his vision darkens I hate narcs I do too come with me okay if you want to live I do want to live he looks like arnold schwarzenegger looks exactly like arnold schwarzenegger massive guy come it's arnold schwarzenegger with prison stick at books yeah and he grabs you and just carries you into the back like a small bag of apples I look at my friends be safe and he takes you yeah through like the back door out into the snow one of the back of the ice tracks it says um the chopper on it get to the chopper yeah he looks at you and says this one needs to leave soon my friend he is he is good he is trustworthy boy a heart of gold he's he go to sheer city he goes all the way to sheer city he do but the road and he holds you close to his face the road is dangerous between here and there my friend it's okay many many obstacles I will be brave okay and our and your friendship our friendship will give me the strength to go on he clutches you to his chest I clutch him oh like how can I ever repay you leave and he throws fucking whips him into the back of his truck and uh yeah the rest of you are sitting at the table and just so I understand what the treks look like they look like the ice boats but they're huge with massive skids on them I'm genuinely imagining it's hard for me not to just imagine a semi truck that's what I was thinking made of wood with skis okay and but but like the front and the cart are like attached because it's still like a carriage basically okay it's covered okay you know what I mean and then there are uh teams of dogs that are just in there too yeah there's also dogs here okay are they just like sleeping up at the front yeah pretty much they're like the spare they're like spare tires like if there's not enough wind then they get the dogs out okay yeah maggie's like looking out the window at the cops and she's like okay they're coming what do we do what are we gonna do slowly get up and move out here I'm gonna throw this gunpowder into the fire in the middle of the room it's gonna make a huge ruckus go go go okay defy danger charisma to act casual okay everybody act casually okay uh ten yes uh plus charisma seven okay so tuck you get up shockingly casually uh dave ving's persona slides out of the booth next to you and maggie starts sliding out of the booth like pushing perel who was on the aisle side and move just go go now get up I'm trying to get up but I'm trying to be casual and he's like trying to drink his tea as he stands up leave your fucking tea dude and then he looks at the window and goes and he sees that the cops are like hurrying up and then you all look and the cops start rushing towards the diner they definitely see we start running I say I apologize everyone for what's about to happen and then throw the just smash the jar of um gunpowder into the the fire in the middle of the room underneath the flat top okay 2d6 plus wisdom wisdom yeah yeah great six gonna need some I help oh eight okay great thank you so um it is ving throws it and it hits the ground and and tucks scoops it up and it whips it into the fire yeah so I slam it down as hard as I can it goes ding ding ding doesn't break that's I told you mason jars are incredible and the jar skids across the lid pops off and all the powder scatters across the ground oh my gosh so tuck scoops it up and throws the powder into the fire so it's not a bomb like a like a glass jar full if it would have been so it doesn't do exactly what you want but it is very loud and it does that like firework like like instead of a huge boom but the only problem is that the room rapidly fills with smoke yeah oh yeah it's hard for you to see now we get low and get go yeah and you hear the door burst open the bell sounds like it rips off the wall and then tuck screams fire everybody get out to get everyone to rush rush the front door yeah totally 2d6 plus charisma having a bad time you got this no no yeah 13 okay and a bunch of people the scattering of people that were in here including becky like rush towards the door yeah and as you're hustling towards the back you hear like twang twang and two crossbow bolts like thunk into the wall around you you get through the back there's still a little bit less smoke but you see an open door and standing in the door is a powerful man covered in stick it poke tattoos and he goes this way and we follow him of course you do it's impossible not to and you get outside and the wind is starting to pick up the snow is starting to blow whistling through the stones and there's a big open freight entrance with a a track right there rumbling in the snow as the dog is starting to like yeah pull at their lead it starts to pick up speed they're raising the mast on it too wind is picking up in the sails and he goes go be free do what it is ever you are doing I don't know but go get away from the tux says thank you oleg and then he holds his hand up for one of those oleg grabs your hand what is this kind of handshake called this is just called the predator handshake it's the predator handshaker predator handshake your biceps both bulge aggressive you son of a got you pushing too many pencils and then we hold for too long as we both try and make our biceps as big as possible but it's like a show of respect rather than intimidation yeah totally respect and we're also looking at each other's yeah there's a little bit of it that's flirting yeah just like god damn that's a big man right back at you buddy now go okay and then tuck uh it shifts to a wide he's holding uh an on fire log from the fire and he whips it at the cops that are coming through uh give me a defy danger dexterity uh ten now you're rolling great so the two cops come rushing out the back door and they both just get laid out by a huge log and you're you run along so you run up behind the ice trek and you hop in the entrance and ving tuck billy and perel and maggie all course off into the snow blizzard starting I want to do a elemental mastery okay yeah to try and cover our tracks yeah otherwise they'll just know exactly where we went nice so roll plus con ten ten okay so on a ten the effect I desire comes to pass and I will retain control so you will pay nature's price yeah okay so you call on the winds of the frozen north the mighty northern gales to blow the snow to cover your tracks to hide you from your enemies and get us out of here faster and get you out of here faster the wind picks up in the sails and the dogs basically start falling behind because the trek is going so fast and they're trained to jump on when it accelerates under the force of the wind it's actually pretty cute to watch because they nose each other up I was thinking that too so cute uh and then suddenly your mind is filled with a vision of gale force winds towers of gray cloud piercing into the sky locked in battle with a mighty thunderbird whoa claws wings feathers flying blood arcing towards the ground you know that you are seeing through the eyes of cloud piercer and he is in pain whoa and that's where we're gonna end it for this week your game master Shawn O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz so long playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers take care guys and playing fat billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai nooo aaron reed is our intro and outro music composer and performer you can find all the music that aaron has composed and performed for the show written by abdul and I at soundcloud.com and you can find aaron's album healthy at aaronreed.

Bandcamp.com thank you to our supporters around the world for supporting the show if you would like to support the show and get access to hours upon hours of bonus content merchandise special games clothing or not clothing just saying whatever clothing food implements handcrafted blades custom written wedding vows and my hand in marriage postcards and a whole other bunch of cool stuff find us at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money please we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly speltlore

If you like Spout Lore and you want spelt more of it, go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore for exclusive bonus content, bonus games, exclusive merchandise, and more. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and raddest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. Oh. For the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello there. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hi, everyone.

When last we left our heroes, they arrived at the trek stop deep in the ice road route of the frozen north. After finding, thanks to the help of Pantera, the blood-debt-owing snow leopard, a wanted poster featuring our dear friend Ving. Looks nothing like me. A very offensive rendition that makes him look like an absolute beast, but still noticeably Ving. Determined, nonetheless, to take refuge at this trek stop, they disguised Ving.

Ving, as a nice road trekker, shaving his head and using the hair to give him a handlebar mustache, I think. Handlebar mustache and a mullet. And a mullet. Under a hat. Was there chops coming out of nowhere? I mean, we could just say that now. There's chops coming out of nowhere. Yeah. Like, not connected to the mullet? Yeah. It's shaved between the top of the mullet and the chops. Yeah. And then the chops, and then a mustache. Awful. Not one unified hairstyle on the entire head.

They went to the diner. In the trek stop, featuring all-day breakfast, and took a spot in a booth to plan their next move, meeting aggressive, yet not realizing it's off-putting diner waitress Becky. She was just reading the game. Like, she just got a copy of the game. Yeah. And she saw Tuck and was like, I'm going to neg the shit out of this guy. He's going to find me irresistible. Yeah. My feelings were for sure hurt by everything she said. Those feelings are hurt. Cops came into the diner.

Designer took notice of the party sitting at their booth tuck accidentally drew the attention of one of them I think we're so excited about all day breakfast we forgot we went there to make a plan yeah that might have been it yeah uh we later on learned that billy and or jessica misunderstood all day breakfast to mean all you can eat breakfast absolutely I misunderstood personally very reasonable ordering basically 15 times the amount of food of anyone else at the table tuck drew the attention of one of the cops who came over and asked what was going on what your business was and then uh they both left tuck talked to a woman at the bar trying to get an idea of your your plan I remember now was in an attempt to learn more about adernack all water was to just ask any one person you saw you looked like they might be intelligent so she was reading so we're like this person definitely knows about wizards she knows about our quest specifically bothered a bunch of nerds that day yeah tuck approached her and scared her off accidentally losing the weather book that he brought with him to seem smart as well billy snuck out after her yes and saw that she was informing the cops preparing to enter the diner and apprehend you all billy returned to the table and and!

Gulnau this huge guy you can really help this out uh and at that moment the cops stormed the place ving threw a jar full of gunpowder into a fireplace creating a smoke bomb of magnificent proportions uh you escaped out the back oleg throwing you into the back of a moving ice trek that was on its way out the door and you all escaped ving calling the storm around you to pick up speed and also obscure your trail receiving thanks to his connection to the spiritual realm and the elements of vision of a great battle taking place in the skies high high above cloud piercer the thunderbird nearby and in pain oh and that is where we find our heroes now does ving do anything immediately about the vision he yells out cloud piercer what I stick my head out the window the clouds have kind of come in so you can't really see much yeah it's windy you do we hear thunder yes you hear thunder the wind in what direction the sky which way are we heading I do mean it in that it is above like it seems like it's rolling out from everywhere whoa yeah oh my god is there like weather above us that looks like stormy at all ving kind of called up a storm to obscure you so you are it's it was pretty snowy and blustery already and now it's even more so and the truck is rumbling as you're pulling out onto the ice road you're like oh my god I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared dogs as far as the eye can see back here uh the the dog team has been pulled in because it was already pretty windy and they're just like oh hello friend I am ving hi I'm your friend and he holds out his little paw what a good boy welcome to the truck my name's balto I guess I'm kind of the leader around here that's great anything we can do for you do you guys need anything from us you can just put it in the chat box and I'll take care of it for you guys take care of it for you guys pet scratch my head you get it bolt though oh yeah this is great hey guys we got some friends back here and you're like oh my god hi what's going on just a pile of dogs now they're all over me licking my face and stuff this is great perel's kind of like standing up he's got his hand out and he's like lifting up one leg as a dog gets closer to him hi hello perel do you not like dogs no I like them fine they're just this these ones are big that's you just stay down there buddy stay down there and then tucks on the ground and he's like underneath one that's huge and he's scratching it on either side he's like just scratch them like this and they'll be fine no that's fine it's okay you can just stay back a little bit uh and uh maggie is sitting on the ground and she's got one laying across her lap ving and balto are laughing their butts off oh no I rolled in it and it turned out it was my own that's what happens out here on the ice road oh my god yeah you're a good boy what's the driver's name oh uh uh he's never told me his name gotcha no clue dog only knows its own name yeah yeah exactly dog knows balto other dogs yeah and then food person food guy yeah he thinks the guy's name is come here boy wait do can you ask him where we're going yeah where are we going where's this truck headed oh we're going to um uh the big the big place that place with all the you know what they're called there's all the people the city yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's gonna be a while but that's where we're going eventually is there is there buildings made of ice I was thinking about this earlier yeah we don't know anything about the frozen north we're going to sheer city so we're going to sheer city or old sheer probably sheer city if it's a city but we don't know anything about the culture we don't know what the government's like yeah is the frozen north like attached to the principalities is it separate from the principal I assume it's separate me too but I don't know is it city states is there a full is there nationhood up here there seems to be nationhood doesn't there yeah so sheer city sounds like it's probably if not the capital a big city it's a big city on the coast yeah can we do a thing where we come up with a name for the city come up with a name for the city come up with a name for the each say a thing that our characters have heard about sheer city I would love that starting with what we know about it so far that's what I want to know is that old sheer was the first city or settlement when people came over from hibernia I think and some of them settled there and it was like one of the first communities on this continent theoretically yeah that makes sense it was probably maybe not on the continent but definitely in the north yeah it was one of the bigger because we don't know anything about really about the indigenous people of the continent right you know what I mean so like how long have people been here are these the people that were here like originally like well what do we know of the winter war like what were the people that were there because it was the people from the elves and fairies that's who took part in the winter war were the elves the dark elves and the fairies and it feels like a lot of people got pulled into it I think so too I was thinking of like how the north like sheer city had a lot of people who were here and they were like oh my god I don't know what's going on here and they were like oh my god I don't know what's going on here a lot of military ground because of its advantage from the shore and they're also trying to secure passages to other parts of the country so it is like in a northwest passage sort of thing yeah how a lot of the arctic our arctic has been settled by military and that's a lot of the infrastructure there is based on some sort of militant occupation or so maybe it's a hangovers from the winter war or other wars like that there's a bit of a colonial a military uh establishment there's a bit of a colonial a military establishment there's a bit of a colonial here okay yeah we we did establish that old sheer was like kind of just like end of the rotors and then the government re-established the city further south in a place that is the navy could like in a bay kind of that the navy could like live in and then it kind of became a military town sort of like victoria and is that that's sheer city that's sheer city that makes a lot of sense actually old sheer is the some of the original ones yeah yeah yeah it should make sense like the way you described it originally like there's a lot of people who are like oh my god like there's a lot of people who are like oh my god little houses and stuff yeah yeah I think a lot old sheer we said was a lot of people who refused to move to sheer city yeah like they're anti-establishment so it ended up anti-war probably oh yeah yeah okay so this is this see this is giving me a picture of what the north is like it sounds like it's a very militant place yeah like it's a it's a country that is like we have a powerful navy and we control the upper part of the world but I like the thought that this military culture doesn't get through the forest you know I mean like it doesn't really affect the elves at all the elves are more powerful than that so the the great forest and the boreal reach is its own kingdom and territory oh yeah definitely and then frozen north is separate from it yeah that's kind of cool like sheer city is made the hub of like the military yeah then there's like all that frozen area that's sort of like no man's land yeah a bit yeah is it kind of like a alaska then yeah okay that makes sense so it's like maybe it is an outpost of the principalities but maybe they seceded yeah so like it was originally a territory of the principalities and then they declared independence so there was wars yeah and that's why they have such a strong military what makes their military navy especially so potent uh their ability to travel and and like navigate the ice fields and yeah and everything cool I like it uh ships that are like they can like camouflage with the ice sort of thing they hide out they can go further north than anyone because they have like icebreaker ships I was just thinking icebreakers they probably have some sort of thing in the front very cool and they can maybe sometimes go up like if it's a huge glacier field they can like they get up on skis or like yeah they're slightly amphibious because you can put them up cool pull them across they grew out of the winter war a little bit that would make sense yeah like some of their their weapons were yeah used like the you know uh you know military breeds yeah necessity sort of thing I was thinking that about the shipbreakers that it was like an engine on the front of it that was powered by magic and there was a maybe there was a ton of advancement yeah there was a ton of advancement and then that like that really makes sense about we're talking about how magic is used whereas the spirit energy energy is about taking part in the process of the ship and then it's like yeah totally so in the absence of magic they were probably forced to industrialize basically like find ways to replace that energy yeah oh like you mean after the wizards left yeah because it is part of their like military industry was powered by magical artifacts the mechanism era I'm imagining like you know like cold snowy icy cities but with like belching smokestacks and right slamming machines and that kind of stuff rocks covered in ice yeah things covered in ice like ice is mortar oh interesting and like some of the old old buildings that makes sense permafrost buildings using like water as like the heat source you know like because there's magic in it yeah yeah it's easy to you know use magic to heat the water and just use like steam power and stuff like that oh that would be so cool as like one of the discoveries that they made during the war where they were like like a wizard is just like there's magic in all the water yeah and if you like attach these like contacts to it and run a specific current or something like that it's like a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind above they can't be above ground so it's secret no you can't because like I mean the whole principalities like fuck no magic and then probably old sheer or not old sheer but sheer city is probably you know they probably just don't want to like tick them off like they have military I like that some arcanic magic was like amazing old wizard type people live in old sheer that's part of it too probably maybe that's why they seceded because the exodus was happening and then people the exodus happened and people cracked down right on on magic and then they were just like we still have a bunch of magic users here we need to secede and kind of erase because it's like they're so isolated so people don't really know what's happening out there yeah they don't even question they don't ask yeah go up there because they're also scary they're militarized they're like america basically uh okay so we have a better idea of what the north is about weird isolationist magical mechanics yeah secretive kind of advanced machinery electric lights probably yeah either way you're in the back of a truck with a bunch of dogs with a bunch of dogs how can we find out who the driver is can we see this person uh I mean billy could always try and crawl through to the front if you want to so at the back there's like um that's where all the cargo is yeah and then that goes up to like a hatch basically that the driver can pop open to like see how his dogs are doing I just want to see get a glimpse of this driver yeah so I'm gonna roll I guess to certain realities yeah does it go dogs cabin cab I mean it kind of goes like dogs cargo and then cabin and then driver oh so you have to climb back there yeah yeah you're gonna have to actually climb like through the back of the truck like the cargo into the cabin to see this guy is it am I risking falling into the ice just roll it jump in yeah nine nine so you get one question off the list I would like to know what here is useful or valuable to me yeah you pop open the little hatch in the cargo area and then you hop over to the little sill of the hatch in the back of the cabin open that up and uh there's music playing on a music bottle oh nice what kind of music is it sounds like the fantasy version of like credence clearwater revival like it's like I feel better moon rising so pete seger solo yeah it's just like dad music yeah this is how you remind me of what I really am all right no it changed my mind it's it's newer dad music vindicated I'm selfish we're going even younger oh no I'm this is just how many songs I've been like vibing out for yeah somebody I used to know yeah so he's listening to sirius xm 18 countdown.

Billy's been sitting back there for like 30 minutes spying and he's just like, he's got a great taste in music. So tell me about this driver. Are we thinking like older, drinking whiskey out of a flask, gruff dude? Are we talking young, slamming monster energy drinks, trying to pay for school? Writing a novel. Series of novels. I really like older, but we haven't had like a young sort of driver. They've all been kind of gruff dads.

So I kind of want to go for the younger dude who's like in his like early 20s, slamming energy drinks. Probably recently broke up with someone, which is why he's listening to like basically Nickelback and stuff like that. Or he's about to break up with someone. Who knows? He's trying to break up with the person. He's trying to run through all the scenarios. You can't take this anymore, man. You can't just keep walking all over you. You gotta get in there and you gotta say, no more.

Also, I'm on the ice road like six weeks out of the two months. Why did I do it like that? It's so hard. Because when I get home, I need to break up with her, but I'm so horny. So we have sex and then I like her again. And then I'm gone. I don't have time to hate her. No, actually, you know what? Like they have a weird up and down relationship and his six weeks on the road is him working through all of their arguments together until he and like working on himself.

And then he gets home and he's like, I love you. I love you better. That's great. He has a crate full of like therapy bottles for like self-help bottles. Yeah. He also eats like tons of chips from the restaurant Oleg works at. He also goes like he and Oleg are friends and he asks Oleg for a ton of relationship advice and Oleg. He actually got certified as a counselor in prison. Yeah, he's like actually really nice to talk. That's great because he's had a string of terrible relationships.

So he's like, yeah, maybe I can help other if I cannot help Oleg. It's not toxic masculinity to do therapy. And yeah, so he's there's this kid. He's sitting up there early 20s. What does he look like? He's so buff. Okay. All right. Lay out how attractive you think this guy is. I know. I'm sorry. No, this is my fault. Okay. He has to lift all the cargo. He can't afford to like hire another guy just to sit back there. So he's got to unload and load up all the cargo himself.

And sometimes he's got it. Like if there's big chunks of ice on the road, he's got like, like push that off and cut up a bunch of stuff with an axe. I don't know. Yeah, totally. Seems sticking to pick. He looks like a character from Frozen. Kristoff. Oh, yeah. The elk guy. Yeah. He's pretty like thick guy. He's a thick boy. Yeah. He's a human. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. So he's just sitting there. He's slamming chips. Yeah. Crush and energy drink, which I mean, Billy would notice this.

He's drinking out of carbonated cans like he's popping a tab on a carbonated can. Whoa. Arcanic. Yeah. And drinking it. And he's just like fucking rocking out to his music bottle thinking about the fantasy novels that he's working on, which are set in our world. All right. Six friends live in New York City. So. Okay. And so Daniel is good. He's got his boss asked if he could talk to him and Daniel's like, oh, no, now it's going to happen. I'm going to get fired for sure. His friend got it.

He's like, man, you got to stop making up these ridiculous sounding names. New York City. Are you kidding me? Daniel. What the fuck even is a graphic designer? Dude, you can't just make shit up. Unbelievable. So is Billy just going to report back or is he going to try and talk to this guy? I think I'd like to wait. What would what should I do? Second one for sure. Okay. I'll try to talk to him. I think you're going to try and take some of his chips. It's not a bad idea.

I think this is why Billy's been up there for so long because he doesn't know how to introduce all of us. Should we all come up here? He's like, no, that might scare him. He's taking so much responsibility because we were just like, go check out what's going on. And then but we didn't tell you to come back. Right. And I'm stressing out. I'm like, but if it's just me and I disappear, there's going to be no one left to tell them what I saw.

I mean, I feel like once Billy saw this guy who'd be like, okay, I'm not in danger at all. He doesn't know. True, but probably he's looking all around the cab for his like hidden weapons. Maybe he's a murderer. He sees the ice pick and stuff like that and the axes. In his rear view mirror it's like, be a better person. Affirmations written everywhere. There's a lot of like conflicting information. Yeah, but the most important thing is that bag of Doritos. Oh, absolutely.

He's got so many bags of Doritos. Cold ranch. I love the idea of the conflicting information. Billy looking around the cab, cut to a pick axe with a wicked blade. Cut to be a better person on the mirror. Cut to angry music. Cut to self-help bottles. Yeah. Cut to the axe and then bloody meat. I don't know. It's for later. It's for the dogs. Yeah, he's cutting up like raw meat for the dogs in the back. Yeah, and he's like, oh. Cut to the chips. Yeah.

So Billy's like, I'm going to go for the food first because at worst if I get kicked out, at least I ate something. Uh-huh. At least I have two chips worth of calories. Yeah. Okay, so I'd like to secretly get to the open bag of chips. Yeah, 2D6 plus dexterity. And it's a crinkly fucking bag. It's so crinkly. Oh my god. 8. Okay. It is a crinkly bag. Billy's seen a crinkly bag before, so he knows that if he goes for these chips, the guy's going to become aware of you right away.

You can either avoid his attention by not stealing a chip, but if you steal a chip, he is going to become aware of you. Fuck. Okay. I mean, do you have a fairy child? You could always charm him for a while. I don't want to charm him. I want to be my authentic self. Uh-huh. You were about to charm him, then you saw an aphorism written on an air freshener that said be your authentic self. Yeah. Billy's been sitting here for long enough that he transitioned to the bottles, and he's like listening.

All this therapy now, like, yeah, I should just be the real me. So I've already crawled into, like, the driver part of the cabin. So you're sitting next to him, and he doesn't know. Yeah, he hasn't seen me yet. I'm looking at the chips. I'm like, he's going to hear me. So I just ask, excuse me. Whoa! I'm sorry! Scurvy! He immediately starts cut to the back, and we're bouncing. Dogs everywhere. Bouncing. Oh my god. And you guys get slammed around. The car goes secure so it doesn't move.

There's definitely food up there, I say to Doug. He's saying this to me as I'm being dragged out the back because I fell and grabbed a net. Yeah. Oh, nice. Maggie has her arms and legs braced and her core absolutely solid flexed, not moving. I didn't grab a net. I grabbed her cloak. I have a huge armful. I have five, six giant dogs. You're saying, I'm keeping them in the middle because they're bouncing around. And Perel is slamming around like a foosball. You're on your own. Oh my god.

And eventually the truck comes to a screeching. Well, I mean, it's a ski, but it comes to a skiing halt. And the guy starts opening the door and crawling out. He's like, what the fuck? Who are you? No way! Oh my god, how'd you get in here? Oleg, let us up. Oleg, how do I know that you did not take the life of my dear Oleg? Look at this bottle of cinnamon that Oleg gave to me. By his own decision making. Fear not, young boy.

I know that if you bear the cinnamon and then he reaches into his shirt and pulls out another vial of cinnamon. This is great. It means that I can trust you because Oleg trusts you with his cinnamon. And then they touch and it makes a heart. It makes like a ringing crystal. Wow. So we are brothers for life. We are cinnamon bros. Also, I like that Billy's like, I thought I had the only cinnamon. Yeah, he's a little like… So we're cinnamon bros then. Yeah.

Oleg said you could give us a ride up to the north. To Shrew City? Yep. Alright, that's fine. Okay, so just to be clear, it's not just me. I have a few friends in the back. No, we're keeping the dogs entertained. Okay. It's my friend, Ving and Tuck and Perel and Maggie. For any more people back there I should be aware of? Are there any more people? No, that's it. There are only four to five of us.

I gotta say, I'm not super jacked about this because you might not know, Ice Road's a dangerous place. I gotta be really careful with my poundage. For sure. Alright, fine. But if we cross a bridge, you all gotta get out. Aww. No, but then you can get back in on the other side of the bridge. The bridge, probably. Okay. It is a treacherous road, my bro. I've heard. And it is two days, probably, to Shrew City on a good day.

And as you can tell, we don't have a soundscape in this podcast, but it's windy as fuck right now. For sure. Oh, yeah. It's really blustery out there. Yeah, so he hops back in, he closes the door, blocks out the wind. I'm Trevor. My bros call me Trev. Nice to meet you, Trevor. No, no, no, no. And he holds up the cinnamon. You call me Trev. Trev. Nice. My name's Fat Billy, but my bros call me Billy. Nice. I will call you Billy, then. Yeah.

You're welcome to sit up here with me if you want, or go back there. Do you need anything from me? Yeah, could I have a handful of chips? Yeah, sure. Sure, bro. Thank you. You want a, what do they call monster energy drinks? A cold pop. You want a cold pop? Yeah, I want a cold pop. Ice cold pop. And he reaches down through the floor. To a rack of drinks that's hanging out in the open ice. So cold. And he pulls one out, and it's a tall boy can, so it's almost as tall as Billy.

So I have to hold it with both hands, so I put the chips in my pouch. Of course. I say, I'm gonna go back to my friends for now and let them know what I've learned. And then you hear Yes, hello. Hello. Hi, what's up? Hey, we just wanted to make sure Billy was okay. You okay, Billy? He's talking to you through the hatch in the back. I've climbed up on the can. I'm trying to open it. Climbed up on the can? Nice. Trying to rip it open with both hands.

Ving's got his head at the passenger side window. He said he went outside and went around. Get in! And he opens the door, and it's like, Get in here! Have you ever been in the north before? Have I ever been in the north? Look it, I'm wearing no shirt. I took my shirt off to show you how much I'm in the north. That makes me think you haven't been in the north before. And Tuck is like, I also don't have a shirt on.

And he's talking through the little hatch in the back of the thing, and then he just His beard's sticking up under his shirt. And then he moves his body, and then presses a nipple against it. No shirt. Oh my god. Just this kimono and my loin guard. And then he pulls up and presses it. Oh, man, come on. Get that thing out of my window. It's a loin guard. Okay. Yeah, the little… Billy, explain the situation to me. Where are you headed? Sheer City. Perfect. Everything's good. Get in the truck.

Close the fucking door. I'm in. What's all these tapes for? Why'd you come up here? I mean, what's going on here? They're self-help tapes. I'm working on myself. We were concerned about our kid. That's why we came here. You're in the back, and I just saw your dick and balls. Hey, no. It's a loin guard. I didn't show you underneath. Well, I saw a lot of the outline, okay? I'm working on myself, okay? Okay. Me and my girl, we got a pretty up and down kind of thing.

And, you know, I'm not going to say that she's blameless in this, but I need to work on myself, and these tapes are really helping me. I call them tapes because I had to tape the tops of the bottles shut. So they don't leak out so I can listen to them more often. Well, if you ever want to talk, you let me know. Yeah, Ving is a registered counselor. I don't know you at all. I just learned… That's perfect. I'm impartial. That's all you want, man. Oh, fuck. You're right. Okay.

We'll be in the back. Thanks. Thanks for driving. Driver. Driver? Thanks, driver. Trevor. Trevor. My last name is Driver. Trevor Driver. But it's, you know, my whole family… My dad was a driver, my mom was a driver, and my brother's sister's drivers. Your last name is Driver. Yeah. Ah. I knew a halfling back in the Great Forest who was a traveler. Uh-huh. He was a driver. Uh-huh. His name was Mini Driver. There it is. Wow. What a circuitous route.

I could tell by the way you were playing fast and like, I knew a halfling in the Great Forest. I was like, well, I know he knows they don't live there. He's setting something up. Damn it. You related to Mini Driver? Yeah, that's my uncle through marriage. Do you know a guy named Adam? Don't you? I don't fucking say that name. Don't you fucking… Adam tried to steal my fucking girl from me. Whoa, Adam. Hands off. Yeah, right. That's what I'm trying to say.

We have an exclusive thing going on and Adam was like, I'm tall and I have an oddly wide torso. And I've been in some pretty good movies and some pretty bad ones. Adam sounds like a cousin I had. Yeah. Well, not my cousin, but just a cousin. What? What? What? Adam sounds like a cousin I had one time, but not my cousin. Just a cousin. This is Billy trying to relate. He's like, yeah, I have family. Yeah, what about Adam?

Oh, he was going after another dude's girl and they had a big fight in the pig pen. Uh-huh. Adam lost. Oh, no. We don't talk about it. You don't want to lose a fight in a pig pen. You don't want to lose a fight in a pig pen. You lost more than his pride that day. Oh, yeah. Lost his face and head and dick and balls. Face and head and dick and balls. Billy just heard. In that order. Yeah. Face first, then head, then dick, then balls. And then you hear.

And you look over and Tuck has like one of the bags of chips and he's eating it in the. Hey, did you get that out of the crate? No, I got it from in here. Oh, you got a long arm. Yeah, dude. I'm pretty big. You haven't seen the whole of me yet. It's going to be impressive. It will be surprising. And just to give you a heads up, I am in a bulk face. So I love the idea that Tuck has to caution somebody who hasn't seen his full scale. I'm really big. So don't freak out when you see me.

You can't freak out. Okay. You've just seen my face. I am monstrously huge. Okay. So I'm going to drive now. Is that okay? With everybody? That's great. That's cool. We're going to hang out here. We like you. Oh my God. All right, fine. But nobody talked during my tapes. Okay. Okay. Okay. And he reaches over and he peels back the tape on one of them and he pops it. It's like, welcome back to loving the you. You love to you. You can't really edit what goes into a bottle.

Sean's never listened to a self-help tape. It's all one take. You have to like, put your hand over the bottle. Oh man. That's why good songs are so well traded because they're like, that was an amazing take. They didn't fuck it up at all. Everything was in key. And he, yeah, he starts heading down the road. I'd say this, this is an opportunity to learn things either about the state of the North or the world really, because he's a tracker.

He's probably heard some stuff about what's going on all over the place or to learn things about the environment, which is my way of saying, if you want to Spout Lore or discern, realities now is the time. Hey, what have you learned about what, why, what are these posters for? Have you heard anything about this? Like this? I have one of my wanted posters, but he's still in disguise. You know what?

Now that I'm looking at this poster, the general shape of your face is very similar to the shape of this guy's face. Me. What do you mean? This is me. What do you mean? I don't know. I'm wanted. What do you mean? Where have you seen these roll a two D six plus charisma? Oh God. Billy. Billy. Stop mid pop. Like yeah. And tucks up mid crunch. 10. Holy shit. Good job. He reaches into his shirt and pulls out a little vial of cinnamon on a chain.

He goes, you're lucky you have shared this information with me. A cinnamon bro. Destroy that poster. If you know, it's good for you. He eats it slow. So slowly bites little bites. I just did a poster 20 minutes ago. Billy lifts up his pot to you. Oh, thank you so much. Billy. You drink it and it tastes like it tastes like a poultice smells. It's like medicinal in its strength. Oh my God. This is like a virgin Jaeger Meister. I love this. So it's red bull. Yeah.

So Billy pops up in the, in the little face hole now and his pupils are just, Oh God, dude, Billy, you tell me you haven't been drinking this stuff. Oh, I had half. That's a big half. I can see. All the way to the forest. Tell me Trev, what sort of things do you find across the roads? What do you want to know? What sort of dangers have you encountered? Yeah. Speller two to six plus intelligence. Seven. Okay. So he looks at the poster again as Ving is finishing eating it very slowly.

Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I have a stack of these things. Kind of eat all of them. You can destroy posters in other ways, dude. No, this is this. He's right. This is the safest way to destroy a poster. Give me one of those. Challenge. Bros. Gentlemen, bros. And then tuck doesn't want to be left out. So he reaches in and grabs one too. Yeah. Here. Any hands, a couple back to Billy. Give those to the other one. One's back there. No problem. We all have to eat them. Feed them to the dogs. Yeah.

He just drops them behind him and he's, his eyes are straight. A little, a little, a little too. Askew. Yeah. The East and West meet. So what he knows is, um, things are getting pretty, pretty rough out there. It's a shame, but from what I've heard, war is coming to the principalities. What? Yeah. Things are getting pretty bad. I'm sure, you know, like the weather's been all over the place. There's been strange occurrences kind of across the lands. Whoa.

No, we didn't, we didn't know anything about that. Even this, this storm, any points up. This is a, I mean, you know, it's the north, but this is unseasonable in terms of its power. And I've been hearing that there's been a destruction in the smaller communities of the north storm sweeping through great shadows in the skies and whatever's been going on in the principalities. One of the Princeps, has taken this opportunity to make a move on a neighboring territory. Oh fuck. Oh no. Yeah.

So things are getting pretty dicey up here too. So, uh, the northern forces have really locked down on people and, you know, a lot more checkpoints than usual. And, uh, these, and he shoves another poster in his mouth. I wouldn't be surprised if this was related to it somewhat. Oh God, what stock is that? They're laminated. Oh, I can tell. Oh, dude, not going down easy, bro. We're going to have terrible shits later. We're not going to have any shits later.

So, you know, it's a good thing you're in disguise, but you know, I'd keep your head down. Do you know anything? Why? Who's, who's putting these posters? No, no, no. I mean, nothing. Why? Why is it unusual? Like I assume you did something. Um, you can tell me I'm not a cop. I'm wait a second. I'm not, I'm going to say I trust you, but I'm just going to keep this one a little close to the chest. For now, if you don't mind. Yeah, no worries.

Let's say I need to work on myself a bit before I talk to you about this. He nods sagely. I wonder if there's, uh, there's also, because like they're gearing up for war in the principalities, like production of like military equipment and old sheer has like kicked up. Oh yeah, probably. I think so. They're getting a lot of orders in. Yeah. So maybe that's another thing.

Uh, Trevor says he's like, yeah, I'm going to drop off a bunch of, um, food in old sheer, but I'm picking up a shipment of, uh, of, of weapons and armor, taking them back down South. Really? Yeah. War is mechanizing again. Yeah. I mean, that is the old sheer way. Whenever there is conflict, sheer city is there to make a buck, you know? So it's bloated in population right now too. There's people coming in. Yeah. A lot of workers coming up, a lot of travel on the ice roads.

That's kind of good for us. Then there'll be less likely to find us if there's a ton of people going in and out. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Can I spell her about something? Yeah, everybody can. So what is it? Plus intelligence? You know that negative one. I got a seven. Okay. So what is, what is, what does Tuck ask? Uh, has any, do you know of anyone or have you, cause you've been like on the road this whole time, right? Yeah.

You ever seen any like huge birds that cause thunder, lightning or whatever around? I mean, do you mean thunderbirds? I do mean thunderbirds. They are a thing that people know about existing. I think, you know, of thunderbirds. Yeah. Giant birds are hard to miss. But I saw, I saw, and he gets really conspiratorial. He hunches down. So one night I was driving the ice road. These things pretty much drive themselves. I'm guessing. Oh, do they?

And he crosses his arms in front of his chest and the wheel starts to turn. And then the whole 18 wheeler kind of structure of it starts listing to the side. No, it's okay, everybody. Don't worry. These things drive themselves. You keep taking your eyes off. You're, you're crouching down. You're crouching down. Telling us a story. Not watching. That's a great point. Seems to be doing. You seem to be doing a lot that I can't see. You're a great driver driver to thank you.

And he puts his hand on the wheel and immediately writes the truck. Yeah, I've been doing this for a long time, bro. Oh, it's almost four months. And that is after three months of having my license revoked. So I'm doing pretty good. Are you an owner operator? Yeah, this is my, he slaps the side of his chair. This is my baby right here. That's awesome. Yeah, man. I am a hundred percent for reliance, baby. That's sick. You know what that means? No taxes. That's what a hundred percent profit. Baby.

That's not what that means. A hundred percent profit. Anyways, any hunches down, it gets really conspiratorial. One night driving the ice roads. I was trekking halfway between the rosin yields and the white waist. The clouds grew dark. It was dark or it was nighttime. So it was already dark, but I could tell the clouds were even darker than that. All of a sudden, as if from nowhere, lightning right above me, whoa, heel of thunder and descending through the cloud cover.

Um, massive bone white Thunderbird, the biggest bird I've ever seen in my fucking life, bro thing had to be a really, really big bird. And just as I was, I swear to God, I swear to God, just as I was looking at it, it looked at me and it winked and then it went back up into the clouds and it was gone. It sounds like cloud piercer. He loved to perform. Yeah, I was really slamming energy drinks at the time though, though. So that might've been an embellishment on my brain's part.

Did you notice any stones upon its brow? Yeah, it was dark, so I couldn't see the color of his gem. All I saw was the reflections of the lightning. Really intense story. It was fucking bad ass. And tuck pops a boner boner. You hear it smack against the wall, the whole truck tips a little bit, but the, but that like he kind of has been like opening the top of a, the bottle slowly. So music is slowly creeping in.

And then when he says it was fucking bad ass, he opens it all the way and it goes, give me fuel, give me fire, give me that, which I desire. Wow. And he just starts slamming his head up and down. Hold on fuckers. Yeah. The shot shifts to outside as he shifts gears or whatever. When he shifts gears, it puts down different skis. Oh, cool. And that is how you pass the night on that first day is him telling you, telling you about war, telling you about the giant Thunderbird.

He saw we tell him stories too. Yeah. What do you got? It was one time. Tuck got beat up by a woman in a cave. Uh huh. Yeah. This lady beat him up. Got him real good. Yeah. And then I think you, you got some good shots in there, pal. What, what is the situation? Are you talking about? I was a whale. You drank way too many. Everybody's just slammed on these. Billy's now all pupil. His eyes are completely, completely black. He's not even like there. He's astrally projecting.

He's in like fairy realm. He drank so many energy drinks. He crossed over. Yeah. He's shadow dancing right now. And, uh, Tuck tells him a story about the battle of land Springs. Cool. Yeah. I tell him about that. Cool. But I don't say it's us. I say, I heard about these three guys that, that like did, I guess I'm trying to like expand ever since Pharaoh was like, people are telling the tales of you guys. I've, I've been like, kind of like putting it in there. Classic bird. Yeah.

And then I get to the part and it's like, and then as they put the Saffron rope around him, he burst into flame and it turns out he was the demon of zealotry the whole time. What the fuck? I know. Right. We couldn't believe it either. I mean, they couldn't believe it either. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, tux pupils are huge.

It's What, what, that doesn't really shut the fuck and just listen to what him questioning the timeline. I think, Paul, you haven't, Irving hasn't rolled discern realities or Spout Lore. If you got the urge. Yeah, I wanted to know about the army that his dad has been gathering. What have you heard of the building of the army? Has Nathaniel been building an army? Yeah, he's getting garrisons and soldiers from all over the north. He's making it disparate. Is he? Where did this come from?

I don't know. I made a note. Okay. Yeah, go ahead and roll. I'm not 100% sure. 11. 11. Holy shit. Maybe it's not a full army yet. Yeah. No, he's building his followers. He's gathering his followers. Yeah, totally. Yeah, I mean, as far as I know, I haven't seen much. I haven't dealt with rangers much. Most people don't. Those guys kind of stick to their forest, but I do know that a lot of Trekers… Okay, there have been a couple that have gone missing. I'm going to be straight up with you.

Truckers have been going missing? Yeah, like whole treks just gone. It's part of the reason the road's so dangerous these days. Like they find their wreckage or gone without a trace? They leave one stop and they never arrive at the next one. Hmm. And I don't know what's the deal there, but something's happening. There's something going on in the woods. I don't know. They're getting pissy. So people who have to travel near the woods are going missing. That seems to be the situation.

Well, I hope you stay safe. Hey, thanks, man. Appreciate it. And then he pops a bottle and it's I Will Always Love You by Dolly Parton. How does that go? It was one of the shitty takes. The I part goes on for way too long. But okay, so interesting and useful. So maybe he tells you like exactly where there's been a certain site where a bunch of them have been going missing. People have ice trackers have the union of ice trackers has said they're no longer taking that route.

Oh, yeah, there's a route that's like closed. Yeah, I like that. And it is near a region of the forest that Ving is familiar with called my brain said bone city bone city. It is. I mean it's like like all dead trees but former it's a burned out forest that the whole thing just looks like skeletons. Oh, I like it bone city. It's actually called bone city. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Bone city is not the word that I know for it. I just know it is. No, I call it bone city.

I'm the kind of guy that would love calling a thing. Yes, it's part of the forest. I call it bone city because it looks like a bunch of bones and yeah, they close out whole route down dunzo. Don't know why but if I had to guess as an amateur author myself an imagineer maybe there's like something out there. They're like looking for and they don't want people fucking around in there. How far is bone city from the old sheer or from sheer city from sheer city three days. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Thank you. Two and a half days. Now three depends on how many drinks I had more drinks means faster because I get more reckless and if I'm listening to free bird it's two days because I'm free. That's free falling free bird. Yeah. So that's pretty much, you know, the situation that I know about that. Those guys scare me. Do you know anybody who's gone missing personally? Not personally, but like a friend of a friend's brother's friend did go missing. Oh no. Yeah.

It's pretty shit, but he's he's like a union guy. So his family got taken care of. Oh, there's a union. Yeah. Truckers Union. Oh, cool. Good for you. Now, fuck them. What the fuck dude? He's freelance. I'm freelance, baby. I'm not paying fucking dues. So you're do you think the union dues are the taxes? Yeah, man, they're not taking my taxes. Okay. You don't know what taxes are that nobody knows what taxes are, man. It's just the thing that the government like does to you, bro.

Government the truckers union or you're not listening. This guy is working. He's operating so illegal. He's not even aware. He's outside the line. How broke how criminal he is. I'm freelance baby all the way the union. They kick me out and that's on them and they don't get my taxes anymore. I get my taxes and I pay them to the good old country of us and me us and you know me just me. Maybe he's also like the union can't tell me where to go. So he's going to be taking a delivery there.

Oh, I'm going back through Bone City because they can't stop because he can make mega bucks do. Yeah, take a short contract jam through Bone City. Then you can take like six months off be with your lady. Oh, that's the dream bro. Really work things out. Yeah work things out or break up with her. Finally. Well, we'll see depends on how much I get through these tapes. Did your lady have like a sister or something? I don't know man. I literally don't know. It's never come up once.

You need to ask more questions, my man. Yeah, I probably do. That's what tape three is about asking more questions and I'd say like on the morning of that second day is everybody's kind of chilling in the cab or do you go in the back or what Billy's in the back with Maggie and Pearl now that he's like back to normal and he's telling them like I need to stay away from those pops. That was something else. I went very far away. What? Yeah, you definitely shouldn't have those drinks anymore.

Billy, I'm going to keep an eye on you and you guys are hanging out with Trevor. You in the back we go to the back. Okay, perfect. Big is crashing hard. Okay, great. Those drinks. So Tuck is trying to stay awake though. Oh, yeah, because he doesn't want to dream. Right? Yeah, that makes sense. So Tuck's a little off right now. Yeah, just in general because on the morning of the second day, I think we'll talk you would notice because you're trying to stay awake.

You feel the truck start to rumble as it slows down. Oh, and he climbs out the back and around to like look at what's going on. You so you get out of the truck. No, just like I don't get out. I hang out the back. Yeah, you hang out the back and you immediately see a group of people in those cop uniform. Okay. And officers I duck back here. Give me a defy danger dexterity. Okay, there was a people people. Oh, that's right. Okay, I got two ones in my decks is zero to two.

So can I do anything about it? I mean, you can maybe do something about what happens. Open the thing. There they are. Yeah, you hear Trev like leaning out his window talking to one of these guards. Did they see him? Pawtuck for sure. Yeah, these two snake guys mean they're snake guys. These snake guys so you hear I mean I thought maybe this would be a tense little substribution thing. Sorry, you know, this is perfect. You do hear them go.

Hey, and then a couple like three guards start running over to you. Um, I would like to use create convincing illusion. I have two fairy childs left. I create a convincing illusion that the back of this is empty fully empty not fully empty, but like just the dogs like a bag of beans that looks like a man so that they'll be like, oh, is that bag of beans? That's a great idea thing. Bag of beans ducked out of there and shut the door.

Beans are flopping around all over the place in the back of my lorry. Get in tight everyone. Okay, make us into look like a big old bag of beans. Everybody lies down on tuck like and then he hugs all of them. Uh-huh. And the guards come around and they like skid to a halt and look in the back and they look very confusing. They go. I could have I could have sworn this was there is a person back here, but he looked at me yet dude.

That's a bag of beans and Trevor comes around the other side and he says yeah, so like I was telling you guys, I'm just going up to sheer city Holland and he comes around and sees the back a big bag of beans. And other things. So I guess that's it. Oh yeah, I get all right fine and they go back around to the front of the truck to continue their conversation about getting through. They ask him for his union card. Oh, they ask him for his union card.

I don't have one because the union is a bunch of jackbooted thugs that are trying to take my taxes away from me to pay for their duties. It's not happening and it's about 20 minutes of him ranting about the union and then he comes around back and looks very confusedly at the bag of beans and then closes the back of his truck and all the dogs get out because the winds died down and he hooks the dogs up and then the truck jolts forward as it starts to move. Oh fuck. Good move Billy. Thanks.

Don't fucking hang your head out in the back again. Language. Sorry Billy. Sorry. We're all a little scared right now. But can we all just please stop fucking yelling? I have such a headache. Sorry thing. We gotta stop drinking these energy drinks guys. It's tearing us apart. We water should have brought more water. Yeah, we're also cranky. Yeah, we gotta stop drinking these energy drinks. This is the last one. This is the last one. I swear to God.

Can we go up to the front tuck can't because he'd have to cram himself through without being spotted. Uh, but Trevor's like, oh man, that was what the fuck where that big bag of beans come from. Yeah. I wonder where now you can tell me I'm a cinnamon. Right cinnamon bro. You're right. You got our back. I got some moves. You know, I I can do some things like like if I'm really scared I can like hide or I can make light sometimes if it's dark I make a little like wicker the wisp. Yeah.

Um, well yeah. Fucking word. So you're like a little organic. You're like a little organic guy. You got a little gadgets and gizmos on you. No, more like a fairy scream. He just goes up tight and he looks forward. What's going on with you? Your demeanor has changed Trevor. Um, but I'm Trevor. I'm I'm afraid why are you afraid? We're cinnamon bros. I know I'm afraid of fairies. Why are you afraid of all the stories I've heard is a lot. Oh boy. Oh my God. Fairies do that.

So to like on purpose to make people afraid we don't actually have to convince me somehow. Okay, so I'm too afraid now. I'm gonna roll 2d6 plus charisma to convince all of my tapes have taught me to express my emotions. So I'm feeling fear right now. I'm feeling in danger and I'm feeling like I'm about to pee my little pants a 10. Oh, okay.

I just do nice stuff and I'm like making like a little will of the wisps and I turned some of like the chip bag into like a bit of a bigger chip bag bigger chip bag. I picked up a handful of dust and crumbs. I made them into like one big chip, you know, just normal nice stuff normal stuff delicious chip based magic. So this is like half an hour of you doing like little tricks and stuff for Trev. I'm pretty harmless. You know, maybe once long long long ago.

I was a bit scarier, but now I'm pretty nice and I'm really only scary if you hurt me which because we're cinnamon bros. I know you won't I would never hurt a cinnamon bro. It is against the sworn vow that I've taken. Absolutely. But for a non-union guy he's really into this guild of cinnamon bros. Oleg told me not to swear a vow but I swore it anyways and now I'm a cinnamon bro for life. It's really good though Trevor to know what your emotions are and to like see them.

My emotions are that I am fearful, but I am hopeful and that I am choosing to trust my cinnamon bro for now despite the fact that he says he is a fairy which is confusing to me because it does not align with what I understand about fairies because he looks like a low guy. But isn't what all the work you've been doing and trying to change your understanding of what you believe before like this is what you've been doing, right?

It's changing your understandings of things and this is moving towards making you a bigger better person son of a bitch being your absolutely right. I am trying to change who I am about myself understand open the hands of another. Thank you so much. I'm starting to flag and he just he reaches over while not taking his eyes off the road and puts a hand on Billy's shoulder goes. Thank you for helping me overcome temporarily my prejudices against the fairies and my fear of them.

I feel like I've made a real bro today in addition to a cinnamon bro. Oh, yeah, man. We're bros for life bros for life. I'll prove to you. You got nothing to fear Trev bump and you continue on down the ice road thing. You're sitting in the cab looking out the window as you pass a cups of trees.

You're outside the great forest now, but there's still tree cover here and there and as the the sun glitters off the snow and ice hanging from the branches your reflexes for just a moment catch movement in the air and then just below the window slamming into the wood an arrow. And that's where we're gonna end it this week. Fuck. Whoa. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz so long playing being the half elf druid Paul Hoppers.

Take care playing fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica tie by everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reed of Vancouver Sunday service for our intro and outro music. You can find all the music performed on the show at SoundCloud and you can find Aaron's album at Aaron Reed dot band camp dot com. Thank you to all of our patreons supporters around the world for supporting the show. If you want to support the show and get access to bonus audio content outtakes art and a whole bunch more.

You can find us at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore dot com slash money, please. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can dumb and scared and lost baby for times of breast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly have a good time and I'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Uh if you like spout more no wait is this me or if you like Spout Lore and you want to hear more of it go to patreon.com Spout Lore and maybe if you give them enough money they'll release me and we can see each other again I've been in this bar for years save me gather around friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tucker's the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight this is a dream a dream Hello, everybody.

And welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. And joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hi. What the fuck was that? Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello. I'm playing Fat Billy, the half-league thief, Jessica Tai. Hi. Everybody's so sure. We're getting right into it. No wasted syllables. I'm using all up the syllables that you guys say. Can you just get to the point, Sean? Sean, we've been trying to end this show for six years.

Nine seasons. You guys are drawing it out, introducing more and more NPCs in there and fucking narrative plot points. Holy shit. We're on a boat again? When are we going to finish the hot dog festival? I've been trying to get back there since 2017. Get back the schloss me to death. Who poisoned Dan's schloss me? Why do I have all these wooden tokens if we're not going back to the festival? I would like to vote. We abandoned the current plot. And all the goals. Love it. And we go right back down.

To the hot dog festival. To figure this out. I wanted on record that I tried to get you guys to go back to Mudlark three years ago. Yeah. And you remove it. Back then, we did not want to. Yeah, because it was pre-pandemic. The world was different, Sean. Yeah. Hillary Rodham Clinton was president of the United States of America. When last we left our heroes, they were enjoying a trek ride in a cargo container full of dogs. Billy snuck up to the front.

And introduced a brand new NPC and friend in the form of Trev Driver. Cinnamon bro extraordinaire. Yep. Who also has… Sorry, Jessica's so tired, she's physically holding her eyelids open. And every time I look over, it freaks me out. Oh, is that what you're doing? She looks white now. Every time I look over, I'm like, who's this? My eyes are already huge. Jessica does have really big eyes. Just like that, Abdul. Abdul looks more white. Whoa. Nope. Never mind. I'm white. He looks less white.

Look at my eyes. Look at my white eyes. Give me your land. Give me your land. Give me your land and your culture. You look like those scary masks in the museum. Yeah. Yeah. The more you reveal just bare eyeballs, the more you look like that racist puppet that Jeff Dunham made. I'm Jeff Dunham's puppet. Trev Driver. Ice road trucker. Working on himself. Up and down. In a relationship. Cinnamon bro. A thing that he keeps suggesting is a real thing.

I think that this is a bit of a, like, there's a group of people that Oleg has inducted into the Cinnamon Guild. Might be. Might be. We learned some things about the greater goings on of the world. It was a real hangout in a truck with a new guy episode. It was nice. Yeah. So we learned about Trev and we learned about carbonated energy drinks, how those exist. We learned that there is a war brewing in the principalities. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The current climate, basically the state of the world has provided an opportunity for one of the princeps to move on a neighboring territory. Fucking wicked. And also that there have been storms throughout the North and smaller communities have been getting hit pretty hard. And that Trev swears he saw a giant white Thunderbird emerge from the clouds one night while he was driving. Pretty cool. Oh, and as a result of the war, the frozen North has been upping production on military equipment.

We learned a bit about the war. We learned a bit about the North in that they are a seceded former territory of the kingdom of Kinos who isolated themselves and militarized. So cool. Arcanics we think might be a big deal here. Magical technology using leftover magical energy stored up in the frozen ice of the North. We got stopped at a checkpoint. Mm hmm. Billy saved the group by creating an illusion of everyone looking like a monster.

Like a big bag of beans that was shaped like Tuck, a Tuck shaped bag of beans. Yeah. One of the guys was like, that's the fattest bag of beans I've ever seen. Don't say it. Don't say it. Everybody covered my mouth. Yeah. And then as we sailed away, moving closer to sheer city, Ving was looking out the window at a copse of trees that they passed. Beautiful. An arrow soared through the air. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Slammed into the wood just beneath the window. So sick. Drive faster.

That is where we find our heroes now. Driving faster? Yeah. What happened? Go. Okay. An arrow. And he pulls his wheel off the front and slams it down and it whips the reins on the dog part. And they all kick it into overdrive. Oh my God. So sick. What's going on? What's going on? I pulled the arrow out of the side of the door and show it to him. I look at it. I inspect the arrow, discern realities of the arrow. Yeah. Discern realities. 2d6 plus wisdom. Eight. Okay. So you get one question.

Who's really in control here? Okay. So who is really in control here? This arrow is fletched in a style that is very reminiscent of the Ranger King's Talon. Talon being? Talon being a unit in the Ranger Corps. Oh shit. Yeah. I have a whole thing for how the Ranger Corps works. Cool. Somebody roll Spout Lore so I can. Make this be useful. Seven. Yeah. So the smallest unit of the Ranger Corps is the Talon, which is comprised of six Rangers of more or less equal status.

A wing is composed of six Talons. And out of all of those wings, there are led by an individual Ranger called the first Talon. Cool. And then the next step is the flight, which is composed of six wings. And the leaders of those wings are usually Rangers of great renown. Six. Sick. Yeah. So the Ranger Kings, this arrow is fletched in a style that you remember being very reminiscent of the Rangers in your father's wing. Oh yeah. And the different wings are fletched in the feathers of that.

Like there's like Osprey. Yeah. Owl. So what's your father's style? What's the feather they use? Raven. Raven. Tight. Whoa. That's so thematically on point. Yes. With how like dark a countenance he has. Yeah. Death. Yeah. And the black wolf. Fucking sweet. Dude. Ravencore. So Talon wing flight. Yes. Cool. There are six total flights in the Ranger Corps and each is represented by an individual Ranger without formal rank.

They are technically part of the echelon structure, but are rarely forced to bicker for votes. When one of them speaks, the others listen. These figures are functionally legends, often very long lived and survivors of countless conflicts across hundreds of years. If my sleeves were rolled up, I would be showing you all of the goosebumps that I have. There's a ton of work to be done.

Uh yeah so one of those is the ranger king that's so cool and I think we decided that dathaniel's called the ranger king because he is a ranger as well as a noble yeah which is uncommon in the ranger corps I'm sure there are lots of princes that are rangers but your father is like yeah a noble noble and a high-ranking ranger yeah he's not the king of the rangers no there's a king among rangers exactly it's so cool that like dathaniel's rule is so unchallenged that he can fuck off and be a ranger for a while and come back and not have to worry about like wars of succession or whatever uh yeah so you're holding an arrow with raven feathers it's my father's arrow the raven I'm saying this just to the arrow and to tuck and to billy I look at the window can I see anything no can I see anything uh you can try yeah 2d6 plus wisdom for discern realities 10 what here is not what it appears to be cool uh so you are basic because this copse of trees that you were passing is long past you now but billy you like poke your head out the window to try and get a look at it be careful and um just the barest little glimmer through your bill noculars you see what looks to be like a bush at the base of a tree move away and disappear into the into the shadows and uh what should I be on the lookout for so you you turn back into the cabin and kind of tell everybody what you saw yeah and ving you would know that based on the fact that it was one shot and it hit where it hit whether or not this was your father directly it doesn't matter this is a message this arrow to you communicates everything it's we know you're here we know where you are we're watching you oh yeah because they could have killed us if they wanted to they don't miss that's the thing that's the thing they hit the truck where they hit the truck because that's where they wanted to hit it yeah so they wanted to let you know that they were close yeah yeah so not really even trying to hide then no no and neither are we I'm sitting in the front seat I'm not on the lam at all and tuck is sitting in the little bucket seat in the middle and in the second row yes because I lost roshamboa I'm just whistling shotgun the whole way there uh yeah so that's that's what you learn is that this was just a message so do I keep going or is there something you need to take care of absolutely don't stop okay not even for a little pee pee not even for a little pee pee not even but what if I have to take a little pee pee well we got all these empties yeah you piss into this can dude what do you usually do for pee pee I pee out the window while I'm driving I look check it out and he rolls down the window and he puts one hand on the wheel but then he like lifts his body up and like just hangs his crotch at the window wow throw one leg over the window yeah see check it out check it out there's pee going all over him yeah no I wasn't I mean you know I wasn't trying to pee my pants are still on I was just trying to show you how I did it but doing the movement actually just activated that in my body and now I'm peeing all over the place I hear you're trying to pee trevor I sit down to pee and I sometimes I shit a lot you know sometimes that happens to me too when I'm doing this it's just a biological impulse wait are you telling us that you shit your pants on a regular basis or that sometimes when you sit down to pee in a bathroom you accidentally shit yeah it's surprising you know you didn't answer you just said yes yes I I sit down and I surprise shit a lot man I get it though there's a wise person once told us every poo-poo time is pee-pee time but not every pee-pee time is poo-poo time you know what I mean damn that's deep yeah wow really makes you think about when you should be peeping and pooping ving's writing it down billy's looking over ving's shoulder while he writes it down and he is thinking hard about the don't even stop for a little pee-pee as you guys pass a another trek stop he's like we gotta keep going well here's the thing dude we got two groups on our ass now one is the coppers and then two is the fucking rangers maybe do you really want to get caught in the middle of that also you're totally unlicensed I don't need a license I'm freelance that means that I am untouchable by the laws of man and god I also thought the same thing too until tax time rolled around and I learned so much what what do you what billy you've paid taxes bill you've been paying the taxes have you not been paying the taxes I mean that's what perel told me the thing slides open yeah what's up have you been explaining to billy about taxes what's that maggie are you making billy do your taxes I gotta do there's a dog back here he needs my help bye he said if I didn't pay taxes I would go to jail I'm going in the back I go to the back who did you pay billy did you pay him yes I'm shaking him down slapping his shit I it was I thought it was funny at first I'm sorry and then I just I really need the cash how much money have you made off our kid I don't know a hundred hundred fifty coins he I think he's taking it from other people yeah he's a thief I don't want to go to jail and I don't know what I own taxes you're making him steal more I'm it what are you using the money for well I'm you know I'm buying us supplies and stuff you mean your hats um a hat is a supply and mustache is a supply silk scarf is for me but I deserve a little treat now and again it's gonna be hard to pay my taxes up here billy there's you don't have to pay taxes in the north what you guys are freelance you don't have to pay taxes up north I'm free I'm being lance or free I'm free lance billy looks wistfully out the window free from all his taxes freelancers are basically sovereign citizens that all follow the teachings of a guy named lance who is like I am not subject to any laws zing opens a bottle free free lancer uh I I here you go any hands over a bag how many coins are in there there's 150 coins yes I kept all my receipts and I would get returns through return scams that I was doing wait you didn't spend any of the money billy gave you no like I would keep the stuff but I would do like a little returns like I'd buy a hat and then I'd get the box and then I'd put a bunch of dirt in the box and say I don't want the hat anymore prel I'm really proud of you billy I'm so impressed you know what here you go and he takes the bag back from tuck and he gives it to billy no no it's your tax return I don't want it you're the new thief now and tuck starts a slow clap and prel puts his hands up oh guys come on come on and the dogs start howling because they don't know this what are you guys fucking doing back there to my dogs I can show you guys how to return scams if you want hell yeah fuck yes we spend the money on the dog and then we go to the rest of the trip learning about return scams there's a montage yeah with no audio as prel's pointing at a whiteboard that has like a box with a hat in it and a box with an x in it he's just got a piece of chalk on the wall of the of the chip yeah and you continue on at the end you learn all about how to scam a store out of uh their merchandise while still getting a return on an item and then at the end he's like so yeah if you go in and you look rich they're not gonna question it that's very good tuck that's what it is is rich people get to do whatever they want so you got to pretend to be a rich person sick yeah and then you hear trev in the front going like oh I think we're we're almost at the city guys oh sick so what do you want to what do you want to do here do you know anywhere that we can go or stay in the city is there is there an inn or uh something like that oh yeah I mean like sheer city's like uh it's like a for real city but do you know where we're secret because cinnamon bros and wanted posters yeah where people kind of won't ask questions about us or tell the cops about us uh-huh yeah uh yeah so he does know a place let's talk about it I kind of like it being a motor inn what's the proprietor's name is their cabin you know like how every truck has their own cabin but it's like you stayed in your cabin for weeks now stay in spencer's cabin or whatever it could be like an old building like ironwood or something oh yeah I like that yeah it could be an old bunker yep because it's such a military yeah so they built it out of ironwood to a stand like attack yeah there's like tons of fireplaces in the building to keep everyone warm oh yeah maybe that's why it's called a motor inn because there's an engine that runs at the center of it that makes that heats it up like it's an device uh-huh yeah why waste energy just heating when you can do other stuff with it totally yeah that's cool so these places where there are these old arcane engines deep in the city there's a lot of things working off these few city centers and so maybe shutting those down you can shut down sections of the city oh yeah so like neighborhoods will be built around one of these engines yeah these cool I like them being called hearts yeah yeah because you would build stuff there but you'd also like you would eat there you know or cook there or something like that yeah so it's an old military bunker but it's made out of ironwood and I think you know like attachments have been built onto it yeah you know to house um a few of the widziano's um a few widziano's um a few widziano's um a few widziano's um a few widziano's um a few like a smoke tent.

Maybe there's like a little like communal pool. Like a YMCA here basically. Yeah, sort of thing. You guys are staying at the YMCA. For truckers. But for truckers. Yeah, it's got everything. Yeah, so you pull in to this place. It's outside the city so like you don't have to go through another checkpoint basically. Oh, cool. But there are a lot of people milling about and you do see like a lot of guards just kind of around. It seems like something's going on. Okay. At least in the city.

Like the city is very busy right now. Like there are a bunch of other ice tracks that have pulled in. Cargo? Yeah, seems like it. And some people don't have their cargo containers anymore. Like looks like some people have dropped stuff off and are on their way back. What if it's attached to like a little like railroad system? Sort of like a small cargo railroad system so that you don't have to obviously bring the ships into the city. That's so sick. Like cargo trains that'll take.

Yeah, if it's your last stop you can unload. That makes so much sense. It would be cool if this train kind of like went all over the city. Yeah, it does. There are like passenger versions of it and then there's cargo trains that also like at this meeting of where like the docks are and then all the roads coming in from the north kind of meet this one central train station. That's so cool. That's sick. I like that a lot. When you said that I also thought gondolas.

If the city like existed on some kind of incline, it would make sense that there would. Maybe some of the docks down to the shipyards, there's a gondola off some cliff somewhere. I know old share when we talked about it for the first time, I think it was said that there's cliffs ice cliffs. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe it's like shelves like terraced spots. You know what I mean? So there's yeah, there's passenger trams and then also gondolas that go up to the higher parts.

A lot of people like the poor people, the people that use the trains as a non-sanctioned transportation. Oh yeah. Yeah. Right in the rails. Because you like if you're living on the outskirts, but you work at the you just take the cargo train. Yeah. Yeah. Great. So who what's who's the proprietor? Feels like a retiree kind of thing. I think it that ex-military orc. Yeah. I like that. Yep. An old orc. What do we call him? Yorick. Yorick. That's cool. Yorick's pretty good. Yorick's cabin.

I like that. Yeah. Yorick works. Cool. So are you guys staying here or are you just using this as a place to sneak into the city? I think our priority would be like try to find transportation further north. Yeah. Because we are ultimately heading to the glacier. Okay. Yeah. We don't need to be in sheer right now. No. We're just trying to get information about Natternack. And we are ultimately going to their tower, right? Yeah.

I think we just came to sheer city because that was like the closest we could get. That's where the truck was going. Yeah. So this is actually a good place to maybe pick up more transport. Yeah. Is there anyone going further north? Oh yeah. Probably. There's people going all over the place. Trekkers? Yeah. Can you introduce us to one? A trustworthy one? A cinnamon bro one? Cinnamon bro, eh? I'll see what I can find. You guys go get some grubs or something. I'll be right back.

Should we go into this Yorick's pub? Yeah. Yeah. So what does the inside of Yorick's look like? I think it's pretty dark. It's in the wood. Does it have like an old like country jukebox kind of music going on? Do we have a jukebox? At the trucker stop? I want to stay away from we just left the husky. Yeah. I don't think we have one. Oh yeah. I don't think this is the kind of place as like jovial as husky place. I'm thinking of like the prancing pony kind of. Yeah. Totally.

But behind the bar there's like an old orc. Maybe there's not a lot of people that he's like really like oh yes! Welcome! Like trying to make this shithole. So funny. Trying to sell us on staying here. Yeah. Okay. So there's an old orc behind. What is he? Is he trying to dress to impress? He's maybe got like a shitty little bow tie on. Sleeve garters? Sleeve garters. Oh he's got like those piratey linen shirts. Oh yeah. Totally. Everything's Oscar the Grouch did his whole like full. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Absolutely. And he's wearing this like wool scarf. Yeah totally. It's cold. It is cold. It's cold all over the place here. I like his wool scarf. You do? Welcome to your XR. Please come in. Come in. Thank you. Come in out of the cold. It's actually colder in here. Oh that's part of the charm at Yorick's. It hasn't been warm in here in 55 years. Do you have blankets? Do I ever? And he rushes off to the back and he comes back with an armful. Do I ever? Do I ever? Slam slam. Bang bang bang.

Clang clang. Behold here your finest blankets this side of something else. And he throws out blankets to everybody. Thank you. Thank you. Maggie and Perel in the back. They're also here. Here's all your blankets. Now what can I? And he starts shining the bar. What can I do for you? The rag is dirtier. It's making the bar dirty. Do you have like a hot soup? I got a cold soup. It's good for the bones. Keeps the joints stiff. Yeah. Stiff? I think I do need a bit of more stiffness in my body.

So let's do that. Yeah you don't want your joints too loose. That's how your joints get old and loose. There you go. And he slops out an ice cold bowl of stew. That he pushes across to Billy. And then he scoops a bunch of ice cubes. It was hot to start. He cools it down. Thank you. Make sure to let those melt first. Okay. Okay. He's trying to melt the ice cubes. No no no no no. Don't blow on them. It's too hot. Do you have a menu? Uh well. Menu's up here. He points to his head. Okay.

There's only menu Yorick needs right here. Okay. Do you have like eggs? No. Do you have any greens? No. Browns? It depends on what kind of brown you're talking about. Do you have gravy? No. Toast? No. Dog food? Yes. That's for the dogs though. Do you have bread of any kind? No. Do you have cheese? No. Do you have like a meat? No. Do you have cold stew? Yes. There we go. Cold stew. I think I know what he has. Okay. We'll have some of the cold stew. Four cold stews coming right up.

Cold stew gives me hiccups. Slides it across the bar. Puts the ice cubes in each of them. Make sure your mother does melt. Okay. Don't touch it. Let it melt. Okay. It's part of the tradition of the meal. You let the meal cool itself. Okay. Yeah. Sounds good. And then Tuck's like oh what kind of alcohols do you have? Because he wants to distract him away so he can get some of these fucking ice cubes out of the stew. You trying to distract me away from the ice cubes son? No dude.

I am interested in those interesting bottles behind you. Well in that case. He turns around. Okay. 2d6 plus what to get him. Dexterity. To fish these out. Dexterity. Dexterity I guess. Yeah. Seven. Seven. So he comes back around. This is a bottle of old blue. Old blue what? Alcohol. Alcohol. And because you as you know in the hospitality. Of your ex since you asked me to get this bottle you got to pay for it. What what five courts he points to the door. There's a sign clearly there.

Management reserves the right to make you pay for bottles of alcohol you ask about or look at in parentheses. I think I know why a lot of people aren't in here. We're the only people in here. You are. It's then that you look back and the tables are like dusty. Can I Spout Lore slash have an idea about this old old blue. Yeah totally. Yeah. Okay. Is it like glacier water that they've made into alcohol it's sort of like an absinthe where it's like because got a little bit of magic in it.

It makes you like hallucinate a bit if you drink a lot. I like that. I love that. Sweet. Magic alcohol. Yeah. What's it taste like? Is it just water that is somehow alcoholic or is it because it has magic in it it feels like it's alcohol. I think it passes by some sort of route. It's like the distillment of when the glaciers melt in the runoff but really early runoff and it goes by. Yeah they harvest these roots and they ferment it like you know.

I was going to say licorice root because of absinthe but it doesn't have to be. Oh could be. No that's cool. Yeah. It tastes like licorice but also like you're licking a battery. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's that's the story old blue and now that I'm talking about it it's fancier than that so it's 10 coins. Fuck. You're it. What? I have to make sure I'm accurately pricing my goods young boy.

I understand that you haven't been pricing a lot of goods because it doesn't look like you've had a lot of business in quite some time. Well Yorick says a bit of a discerning clientele if you know what I mean. I just haven't any old wonder about coming through my doors. He's shining us on and I like it. Okay fine. Who has the money then? Perel. You've got the money. I thought this was my money. I know it is but now yours is ours and what's ours is ours. Okay whatever. Here you go.

Maybe he can return the bottle. Get his 10 coins back and Yorick scoops it off the table into his apron. Does Yorick walk away? No I'm standing right here. Well we have to have a conversation now. Carry on. And he crosses his arms. Ving flips him a coin. Thank you. This is for It's not that kind of place son. Wait do you watch us talk? I don't have to. Alright fine. Come to New York's place for all his finest stuff. I don't even get to listen to your conversation. He goes into the back room.

That's maybe one of the least personable innkeepers I've ever met in my entire life. And you hear him start slamming down pots like he's really embarrassed. Ving is everyone like this up here? As far as I remember all innkeepers are incredibly cold and poor and pushy. That sucks. He hasn't been to many inns though. Keep that in mind. Right you were a prince. This is my first inn. But you want to impress us. Yeah exactly. You know I don't know I thought he was kind of cool.

It's a nice little energy that he brought you know. Sometimes it's nice to just tell a customer to fuck off you know. It worked for you. It sure did. It sure did. Okay what did you guys want to talk about? I don't know. Well I want to talk about what we're doing next but also I had an idea which is rare. Are you okay? Yeah no. She had a concussion? Okay I'm sorry. He thought so hard he gave him a second concussion. I'm fine. I'll be fine. I just can't sleep for the next few hours.

But for real though he points at the blue alcohol and he points at Perel and he's like do you think if you drink this whole thing you will get your magic back? I didn't say it was a good idea. I just said it was an idea. But I'm looking at Perel like do you think? Well I mean it's definitely an idea. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. He's like slowly peeking back around the door. Okay here we go. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug.

He starts chugging it and he coughs it up. Oh it's so intense. It tastes like rummy alcohol. Can this be my spell lord? Uh yeah sure. To see if like this alcohol will make Perel magic again? For a moment? Or even yeah give him a little bit of it because if he's drinking it. He's drunk? Yeah. 2d6 plus intelligence. Ooh.

Everybody pray that this is a 12 because we might have a way to get Perel a little bit of magic back every once in a while while also making him drunk which would be so funny and useful. Please. Please. Eight. Eight. Minus one is fucking. Seven. Seven. Oh man. Okay. It's okay. Uh so. Interesting. Yeah interesting but not useful. Did we talk about the like the candle thing that he was doing? The like burning the candle and like meditating in front of it? Did we talk about what he was doing?

Not really. He just said that it didn't work. Yeah so I'm thinking maybe that thing that he was trying to do would work now a little bit. Oh cool. When he's drunk he can use his ion candle. When he's drunk he can perform the boundless thought principle. And what is that again? It's he's basically folding his brain into different instances so he can think about multiple things at once fully. That's so cool Sean. So he drinks all of this alcohol over the course of a few minutes.

Cause he's a bitch. He's a lightweight for sure. I imagine it's like a wine bottle though. Yeah totally. Yeah. Yeah it's big. Okay. It's like a 750 mil of blue cacao. So I think I've got about six or seven minutes before this gets really fucked up. Hey Eric. Yeah. Could we get a room? Alright yo. Um uh yeah. Give me five minutes. Fifty bucks for the one you're in now. And he runs off like through the bar like through the empty darkened tables just to the other side of the room.

He's holding a hammer and a band saw close it off. We don't know what it's for. You might have been using it to cook. He might be using it to open the sounds like he's chasing a chicken possibly to pluck it for maybe a pillow and uh yeah five minutes later. Come on. Yeah, come on. You got a room for you and he's kind of like tottering a little bit because his joints are so stiff. I pick up Perel like a baby because he can't stand Hey, thank you so much for this. Yeah, no problem, buddy.

Thanks for drinking all that alcohol for gonna be so sick. So soon hold it in man. Just hold it in for a little, you know, if you hold your thumb in your hand, you don't gag. He puts both of both his thumbs in his hands and he goes gags right away. He's like I can't I can't do that and uh York takes you to a room that looks like what it looks like it had been a boarded up.

He forgot to take down the like a city and like notice of like closure health risk and he's like pulling sheets off furniture and like off of this is our finest room and there's a mirror on the ceiling the bench shaped like a heart. What's this room called? This is called the mirror over the bedroom. Wow. Very elegant. It is. It's an old um orcish custom where it's good for your spirit to see your bodies having a restful sleep. No way. And for looking at your lover's bums and missionary.

I would know because I'm an orc and that is orcish custom. Wait a second. I am an orc for sure. That much is guaranteed. Have a good night. Oh, by the way, 50 coins. 50 coins. Okay, 20 coins. 20 coins. No, that's not how this works. 15. 15 deal. 5. Wait. Yes. No. 8? No. 11. Okay. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop saying words. Just give him 14 coins. I'm throwing 10 coins out the hallway. He's running after them. Slam the door locket. There's no lock. The lock is Billy sits in front of the door.

I go to slam the door and it just goes all the way open. Like a saloon door. Yeah, and Perel flops down on the bed and he goes I'm feeling something for sure. I think I'm a wizard again. He stands up and he stands up to his full height and he stretches his arms in the air and he's stretched too far forward and he starts to tip over. Okay. All right. I'm not a wizard anymore or any. I'm not magic, but I think and then his eyes open.

And they like look into the middle distance and he you just hear him say, Oh my God. What? What? I can see it. What? What? I can see it all. What? And he drops down into a sitting position crossing his legs, puts his hands on his knees and closes his eyes. Perel? I'm so fucking drunk right now. Do you have the ion candle? Should we take out the ion candle? Give me the candle. Light it. Give me my candle right now. I'm trying. This thing's out of focus. It's a fucking fuel. It's a candle.

It doesn't have fuel, you dumb fuck. Can you light this? Yes. I gotta use my elemental master. Guys, I'm gonna boss share piss in three minutes. Perel, you gotta hold it in. You gotta hold it in for us. I'm gonna fucking triple right now. All my holes are gonna be on full alert. You gotta close those holes, Perel. Close those holes, buddy. If I was a wizard, I could close these holes so perfectly. You are a wizard. You are a wizard. I am a wizard.

Yeah, all that shit and piss and puke has magic in it. I'm running out of time. You gotta light that candle. Okay, I'm gonna elemental mastery this candle. You're gonna what? What? I'm trying to start a fire. Two dicks plus constitution. So, I got eight. Uh-huh. Affect the desire comes to pass. So, I won't retain control. Uh-huh. Or avoid paying nature's price. This might just mean that you burned the candle really fast. No. No, we can't lose this candle.

Unless, I mean, he doesn't have much time left. Anyway, I can see his cheeks are all puffing up. Flare the shit out of it to see if it, like, really gives him some juice. Who knows? Let's do it. Let's do it. And you pay nature's price. I pay nature's price. So, you set the candle down. The flame is guttering. Yeah. Doing this, rubbing my hands with the wick in between my palms. And, woof. And it burns hard. And Perel breathes in. Deeply. And hiccups. And breathes out.

And you can see his eyes fluttering like he's in REM sleep. Like his pupils are moving so wildly behind his eyes. He's sitting there for like 45 seconds, basically. And the flame on the candle flares up. Uh-oh. And suddenly winks out. And Perel opens his eyes and goes, I know how to get my magic back. Whoa. What? What? And he passes out. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's okay. It's okay. Is he still breathing? Yeah. Tuck puts his nose in Perel's mouth. Is there air coming out?

I didn't know you were a paramedic. And he's like, yeah, he's breathing. Okay. Nice. Smells like a burning cigarette factory in there. Yeah. And Maggie grabs Perel under the armpits and throws him up on the bed. Uh-huh. And goes, what the fuck was that? What happened? I put him in the recovery room. Reposition just in case. Yeah. That's a good idea. He's definitely gonna barf piss and shit. Yeah. So, I mean, I'm gonna stay here with Perel and make sure he doesn't fucking eat his tongue.

But what's next? What are you guys gonna do? And Ving, as she's speaking, you start blinking a lot and you feel kind of lightheaded. Then your vision clouds. No. What? And you see clouds whipping past you. You feel just a heart hammering thundering, per se, in your chest. You know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it's behind you. Your life is a hair's breadth away from being taken from you. Oh my god.

And you burst through the cloud cover and you see in the distance a city glittering on the shores of an arctic sea. And then you're back on your knees on the ground. I run outside. Oh, yeah. I follow. Billy follows. Yeah, so you run out and the moment you exit, the door of Yorick's far, far in the distance, you see a dark shape duck down out of the cloud cover. And coming out of the clouds behind him is a powerful-looking, large, bone-white thunderbird. Whoa.

Cloudpiercer's being pursued by Thronebreaker for whatever reason. And you can feel that Cloudpiercer knows that you're there and that you can see him, but he also knows that if he gets any closer, he's drawing Thronebreaker too close to you. But people in the crowd, like people outside this place, start looking up and calling out as they see these two massive birds coming out of the clouds. It's like when, in movies, when like… Like a meteor? Yeah, meteors.

People are like, what the fuck is going on? Slow screaming? Yeah. Oh, and there's that sound as they're flying just under the clouds. You can hear the thunder. They're like cracking? Yeah, as they're flying so fast, it sounds like they're breaking the sound barrier, basically. So cool. There's huge cracks and peels of thunder over you. Lightning starts building in the clouds, but Cloudpiercer pulls up back into the clouds. Looks like he's drawing Thronebreaker away. Oh my god, he needs our help.

I need to get up there. I want to use elemental form to transmute my body into a form made from the raw elements and I want to get up there. Okay, so you're going to take an elemental form. Yep. So a form of moonlight. What form are you taking? I'm on my knees, just gathering all this snow and permafrost. Grit and frozen earth around me and just lifting it up like a sheet. Like the first top thick first foot of hard packed snow and ice and rocks and grit.

And then jump up and kind of splay my hands out the side. They shoot out into wings. I want to make a giant thunderbird. Wow. Out of ice and stone. Yeah, fucking cool. Get up into the sky. That's so sick. I imagine when the rocks and the permafrost is floating around you, you're kind of like stepping on it like stairs to get into it. Oh, I like that a lot. Like strapping into the mech. Yeah. This thing walking up to it.

Wing, wing, either arm and the top of the bird is all white because it's snow and then it goes into clear and then black on the bottom because of all the rock and everything. Well, let's roll it. Let's hope you do it. Okay, I really hope I do. 2d6 plus wisdom. Alright, constitution for elemental form. Elemental form. Eight. Okay, eight. Perfect. So I get to hold. Yes.

And you take this form of this majestic powerful sinister near almost looking bird of stone and permafrost and take off into the sky. Not yet. I can't do this alone. And Tuck is like, I got you, buddy. And then he like whips the battle axe off his back and then he tosses his backpack to a random person in the crowd. And then I run up to that person. I'm like, give me that. And then he, yeah, he jumps on your back and I make a little saddle for him. Oh, yeah. No saddle. Perfect.

Is Billy going up with him? Billy? Am I invited? I mean, I don't want to put you in harm's way, but I could really use you. I know how powerful you are. I'm on. I have got Tuck's backpack on too. Nice. This massive backpack on this little boy. I know he has a tiny backpack, but it's still as big as Billy. Yeah. This is basically the magic school bus heading out. You're all strapped in. Please let this be a normal field trip with the frizz. No way. What? Fly up into the sky.

And that's, we're flying. We're soaring into the air. Powerful wing beats. And my kimono gets ripped off. I forgot you were wearing a kimono. You finally lost the kimono. It's been episodes. So many episodes. Someone in the crowd, it lands in their face and they're like, ooh. What's that powerful masculine musk? Smells weird. And super masculine. Also, any semblance of secrecy that we had in the town just gone. Anyway, you're now powering through the skies above Sheer City.

The wind is like knives on our faces. Yeah. Tuck's put on his glasses to protect against the wind a little bit. And yeah, the clouds are coming. Okay. Going towards it. Getting in there. I want to follow this trail. Can I close my eyes? Can I try and see what he sees? Yeah, you close your eyes for a moment inside your ice and permafrost bird mech. And I can see the screaming beak of Thronebreaker. Thronebreaker, yeah. Cloudpiercer's turned around and is like swiping and pecking and biting.

It scares the shit out of me. Yeah. It's terrifying. And you come through the cloud cover into the realm above the clouds. This is the domain of Thronebreaker. Towering mountains of cloud above you. No earth to be seen below. Brilliant blue skies above. And pandemonium. So many? Dozens of thunderbirds. All locked in battle. Some sort of war that's been taking place above the clouds this whole time. That no one has been privy to. Holy shit. What's going on?

Great torrents of wind and lightning and huge peals of thunder as if the very elements themselves, the sky itself is rending under the power of their fury. Fucking metal, dude. He lifts his axe up. Yeah. As this bolt of lightning comes down behind you. Yes, Billy looks like he's dressed in like a fur bikini for some reason. And Tuck is like, fans, somebody draw this. What's that guy's name? We did all the crazy. Yeah. Yeah. This fucking rules.

And you see Cloudpiercer and Thronebreaker off in the distance locked in battle. Cloudpiercer is definitely trying to get away. Thronebreaker is a massive specimen. Though Cloudpiercer, you notice, is much larger than the last time you saw him. But between you and them are battling thunderbirds. I want to go up high. Instead of going in, I'm going to go way, way up high. Hold on. Are you going to use one of your hold or are you going to fly? I'm going to fly. Okay. 2d6 plus strength. Six.

Oh, can I aid? Yes. Thank you. How are you aiding? I am working as like a conduit for all that spiritual energy. Right. Yeah. Ten. Oh, fuck yeah. Cool. You start flying up this kind of slope of dark gray thundercloud. Billy on the back acting like a little backup battery. Yeah, actually, how I do this is I talk in like fairy language to the element. You start talking in tongues. Yeah, like very quietly. So sick.

And Billy has to lash out with his voice and admonish a spirit as like you see a powerful like claw emerged from the thundercloud like made of cloud and lightning. Whoa. And it swipes at Ving, but Billy like castigates it like in the fairy language and it recedes. So cool. And this episode took a turn. Yeah, it did. Here I thought, we're just going to go to like Valley Village. I know I wanted. I want to fancy so bad. No, this is great.

Actually, we cut back to like the Valley Village that we would have gone to and you just hear young and loose and lovely and people are just like wheeling your car but in the window at the back, you could see tumbling men made of ice and fire. Someone looks at a tag on a button down shirt and is like 50 bucks. This is the worst day of my life. The imp from girl from girl. There's so many different versions of this song that we've done on this show.

And yeah, you carry up along this towering slope of storm cloud rising above spiraling, spiraling a pair of Thunderbirds locked their talons locked blood and feathers streaming as they spiral down towards the cloud cover. Tuck it. Tuck his leaned in to Ving like as close as he can because the wind is like ripping me off. That's really good. Wind is what ripping me off. It really did sound. What did I say? It sounds really sexual. It's so funny, but we made a sexual. I know I can't help it.

The wind is fucking ripping me off. I'm ripped so tight and I'm pressed into Ving's back. I'm pressed into Ving and I'm getting ripped off hard and you crest the top of this cloud. Great. And now I want to like tuck in. Hold on. I have an idea and make ourselves a missile to go for now using the gravity and like, but yes, are you using a hold? Are you rolling? I'm going to use one of the hold. Yeah, you spend when you're hold. You've got it.

And what is your goal with this to hit thrown threat thrown breaker Thrasher. You named him thrown breaker. I want you to know that renamed him. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Roll your damage. Two. So you tuck in your wings. Yeah. And do a spiral down. Yeah. And just shoot. Tuck and Billy are barely holding on. I want that. So either you can stay locked in this fight for as long as you want, or this could be an opportunity for you to basically tackle cloud piercer out of the fight.

That's what I was initially trying to do is tackle him out of the fight. So you spiral down like a rocket. Yeah. And you slam into a throne breaker and cloud piercer is able to remove himself from these claws and begins like soaring around in a circle and he calls down to you like no, what are you doing? I'm taking him down. I'm saving you. I also want to know what's going on. Yeah, me too. That claw. Yeah. Spirit claw spirit cloud claw. Yeah.

Is it the Thunderbirds and something else or is it the Thunderbirds fighting each other plus something else like I want to know should we just ask cloud piercer? I mean if you were to leave the battle and take some time to ask some questions, no time to ask question while I'm on things back. Who are you asking the question to the spirits? Can I do that? Well, you sold me on it. So yes, you can. So certain realities, I guess nine aid how I'm giving you repose.

I'm giving you a moment calm moment after we smash into him and then backing off and floating back to calm down and I'm following cloud piercer back as their own breakers reeling. Yeah, perfect. Okay, so two to six plus bond. Nice 11. Okay, so you get three questions off the list. Who who's really in control here? So you I'm asking the spirits. Yes, which spirit the storm doesn't matter.

There's one spirit here that is overpowering the rest by a long shot and it is a spirit that you are familiar with. This is a force a malice that you have felt before the storm. I the storm the storm is alive. They're trying to battle the storm. Oh shit Steve Graves storm that followed us it being released it. Okay, so so it's Lillian storm is what's in control here. Yeah, pretty much. So so that's grief while Lillian. So Lillian storm is a complicated thing.

Yeah, it's not just a manifestation of Lillian grief Lillian being the goddess of the moon. It was more something that cropped up around her grief and anger. Okay, and you feel that like rage and that anger but also the fury of like an unleashed animal. Okay. Yeah. How about this? What here is not what it appears to be between cloud piercer and throne breaker.

Yeah, so you're connecting with the feeling of this storm hearing and feeling the rage in the air and you feel that echoed in a large number of the Thunderbirds that are fighting but you feel the opposite from the others like you're you get the idea that one group of these Thunderbirds are fighting. With the storm and the others are fighting against it. Thronebreaker seems to be one of the birds fighting with the storm while cloud piercer is fighting against it.

So there's a faction of Thunderbirds that are who's like God is the storm. Yeah, like the storm you can feel whipping up around Thronebreaker as this like massive force. He's like the winds are buffeting every time he flaps his wings. I wonder if the storm is clouded his mind. Sounds like it.

What here is useful or valuable to me for whatever reason it seems like Thronebreaker is really focusing on cloud piercer like every time cloud piercer gets a little bit further away and begins to escape Thronebreaker breaks off of the fight and chases after him. It seems like cloud piercer is trying to distract and draw him away. Keep him occupied. Basically well piercers missing like feathers that don't grow back like there's yeah, you know what I can hold like battle scarred for sure.

Yeah, we're here to help. How can we help? Yeah, he says like follow me into the clouds and he just starts to fly away and goes for one of the like big pillars that doesn't look like it's full of horrible storm energy, but Thronebreaker immediately begins to like turn and give chase. He's much larger and it's harder for him to maneuver as quickly. Yeah, but yeah, cloud piercer begins to fly away. Oh, can I attack Stormbreaker? Yeah, absolutely. All right.

I want to turn around and jump off things. Back and at Stormbreaker with the axe. I want you to understand the stakes. I hope you do. Yeah, I guess again. We're going to slow motion lightning feeding behind you as you're jumping from the back of one Thunderbird into the face of another looks cool, which is honestly most of Tuck's motivation. This is going to be my album cover. So maybe that's what he screams. This is the cover.

I think as Bing is like turning to follow cloud piercer talk, you look behind and you realize he's not going to be able to get far enough before Thronebreaker attacks him. Yeah, Thronebreaker is fucking gaining on us and I can see the bees or like charging up kind of it feels like he's dragging an entire storm in his wake. So Tuck turns to Billy and he's like, all right, Billy, you hold on no matter what happens. Okay. Okay. And he's like, all right, here we go.

He's supposed to take CLC on his back and he jumps and that's seven, but I have three strengths. So it's strong boy. So hack and slash. The benefit is that Thronebreaker is coming right towards you. Yeah. So yeah, 2d6 plus strength for hack and slash man. This looks so this looks so cool. Yeah. Remember me. Remember me. Yeah. He meant to say remember this, but he said me. It really sounds like he's about to die. Well, he knows. He's not going to die because there's no trees up here.

All of a sudden, a tornado tree on fire. It found me. Okay, here we go. 2d6 plus strength for the attack. Hack and slash. Okay. Seven plus three is ten. Damn it. Wow. Jesus Christ. Okay. Here is a rule that I have always forgotten about until one of my Patreon groups reminded me of it while we were playing. So thanks to Patrick. A show Kevin and Andrew on a ten plus you deal your damage to the enemy and avoid their attack at your option.

You may choose to do an additional 1d6 but expose yourself to their attack. Oh, yes, I will do that. And the reason why he can do two damage is because he's got the axe in one hand as he's jumping. He pulls the waning knife out from behind his back. And it's a light with Lillian's light. I was gonna say do you think it's so bright right now? Yes, the clouds around are glowing. Oh my God. It's bright and purple. Yes, because we're in Lillian's storm. So it's charged up.

And the amethyst is glowing. Yeah. Okay. So lightning strikes the waning knife. Fucking waning knife. Yeah. It's a charge. I am using the power of their storm against them. Guys, this is so cool. It's so cool. It's been so long. I can't stand it. I can't stand it. It's like dead. Sabotage. Guys, we haven't rolled the damage yet. I'm so sorry. It's gonna be. It's charging up the dice. Yeah, let's charge them up with our powers. Yeah, let's roll with our powers of imagination.

Yeah, I am thousands of feet in the air. Yeah, waning knife in one hand, axe in the other purple light on the left and white light on the right as if I am both demon and angel coming for the king of all thunderbirds and the queen of the sky herself. The moon is so cool monologue flying through the air. Famous to himself. Just roll your damage man, please. Oh, my lord. And then the additional six. Yes. What? So ten damage. Ten damage. Ten damage is not nothing.

And if it wasn't for everything that you'd set up, I don't know that this would have done a huge amount of damage because he's a very tough bird. So you leap into the air feeling the presence of your family recede behind you, but knowing that you're traveling forward to protect their lives and you see this colossal thunderbird head as big as a fucking school bus. You know what I mean? Like massive animal.

And I am having second thoughts because I could not tell how big he was because of perspective. Really? Yeah, exactly. And also because of the glasses, they fuck with my depth perception. It looks so cool, but you look like such a nerd at the same time. Oh, yeah. And you leap forward. This bird coursing through the air towards you, shining waning knife in one hand, glowing axe in the other. You stab the knife into the side of Thronebreaker's head. Yes.

Bring the axe back and connect with the magical gem, the bezoar, the precious stone in the middle of his forehead. Yes. And it shatters under the power of the axe. Oh my God. Releasing a massive thunderclap and a force that is powerful enough to blow you off of his head. And then Tuck goes, I got blown off! Jesus Christ. And that is when you're going to roll 2d12. Oh, shit. So you're going to roll two of these and take the highest. Can I activate defend as well?

Because I'm acting in defense of my friends. This is more of a balls-out attack than it is a defense. And they were out, my friend. They're always out. Flapping hard. All right. Fair enough. Here we go. Both of them are eight. Both of them are eight. Which feels like fate. So you take eight damage. Eight. Yeah. Okay. That's not bad. That's a lot. That's not bad. Don't forget, I have two armor. Oh, man. No. No, say it.

I mean, it's always, I always love the idea of someone getting like a cool-ass scar from a fight. I kind of love the idea that much like his dark reflection in McCall, Tuck loses an eye. Whoa, like Fatum? But that might be too much. I think that's too much. Yeah. Yeah. What about like a crazy scar that like gives you like… Like the lightning scars that people get when they're… Oh, that's cool. That, I like that. Lightning.

And it's actually, it's connecting up the coin pieces that are in my chest. Oh, that's kind of sick. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Okay. So you feel, yeah, this electricity arcing through your body as the gem explodes. And I don't take the full damage because I have divine protection. And it's because like TLC are like filtering as much of the lightning out of me as they can. Well, you've got that lightning rod, of Rian. Yes. Also that. The lightning knife. Yeah. Yeah.

And it actually like it goes through the tree tattoo on my arm too. Like where it's like these like arcing burns are connected like from the coin shards to the tree tattoo. And Ving, you're tossed back a little bit with the force of this bezoar bursting. Like it's a shockwave around Thronebreaker. Who is notably not dead. Yes. But he like falls for what feels like a long time. Like that slow turn. Yeah. And then like dips below like begins to dip below the cloud cover.

We're both falling in parallel. Yeah. And you see an eye open. A fucking massive eye. How big is he? Is he like the size of an elephant? Isn't he like the size of a house we said? His head is the size. He's like a quarter mile long. Oh, that's intense. Yeah. He's really, really big. It's like I'm I fought a dragon. It's like I jumped out. I thought I was going to fight an albatross and I and then I got to him and I was like, this is a dragon. Yeah.

And he so he like his massive eye opens as you're falling. Tuck is falling by the way. I bolt for him. Yeah. And Tuck you see his eye open and kind of focus on you in that weird sideways like bird way, but he begins to write himself and as he dips below the clouds you see him flee. Ving. Yep. I'm in Paragon Falcon freefall wings tucked heading for for Tuck. Are you rolling for this? Yeah, I'm going to roll for strength. I guess or dexterity dexterity dexterity. Okay. Flap flap flap flap.

Nice 10 10. Perfect. Yeah. Yeah, you rock it towards Tuck. I'm like dodging shards of bees or grab one of them. Yeah. Oh, I think like maybe like the electricity and the power in them. There's like a field of shattered bees or like hanging in the air. Oh, yeah. Electricity arcing off of them. Oh my God. He's our shard. And yeah, you is Tuck. You're trying to let Tuck land on your back. You're trying to grab him. Yeah, I just like scoop him down underneath. Bam. Grab him and head down. Yeah.

Tuck slams into your back with the force of a thousand suns. Absolutely crushing Billy. Billy, are you okay? Fine. Okay. Cloud pieces to me right here Ving and he's like right next to you formed up off your wing. Okay, cool. And then I dig Billy out from under my belly. I am flat like a cartoon. Yeah. It's a blow into his thumb to pump himself back up. Are we safe? For now, that was no small blow that you struck Thronebreaker. He'll need to recover. Yeah, man. I blew that guy off so hard.

I warrior. You did blow him off. And then I I'm riding Ving like a knight. Yeah. There's like blood on me and stuff. It's a knight who has recently returned from battle. And then I find my head to him and I go, it is good to see you cloud piercer and you Tacoma and you young Billy. Why thank you. It is also an honor to be in your presence again. Quite now, please retreat. We must away. I know a place where we can take refuge amongst the peaks of the mountains. Oh, wow.

Yeah, the clouds will shield us. Cool. I turned to talk. I'm like, are you actually okay? And he leans into Billy and he's like, I think I think I got electrocuted pretty bad. I don't want to alarm you, but like, yeah, definitely. I'm seeing a lot of weird marks and scars on your body that weren't there before. I'm like, does it look cool? It looks so cool. I'm really jealous that you got to be the one to get those scars. Thanks. Do you think Allison will like it if we run into her?

No reason why I'm asking that specifically. I think she always likes running into you. Cool. Thanks. That's great. What an offhander. End question. Do you think we'll run into her again soon? I hope so. Yeah. Guys, stop looking at me when you say that. And Cloudpiercer leads you like above the clouds through the cover at one point. Like it looks like he's trying to kind of cover his tracks. Is there a team of Thunderbirds of his friends following us? Yeah.

Every once in a while, they'll form up, but like they try to not get too close together for too long. Cool. And it looks like because it looks like they're definitely trying to get somewhere without the other birds. Knowing where they're going. It would be cool if they intentionally go through like rainstorms to cover their scent. Yeah. So you're all soaked to the bone. Oh, yeah.

But eventually you arrive at it's like you're in the clouds and then very suddenly there is the face of a mountain in front of you. Holy shit. And Cloudpiercer alights on a cliff takes his place and goes here. Here we can rest amongst the peaks of the mountain. Is it just ice or is there any like nests or anything here? There's like, yeah, there's some nests that look like they're made out of, you know, fucking trees and shit like really big nests. Holy. Is this where you sleep, Cloudpiercer?

When there is time, the battle rages on. How long is the battle been going on? What are you fighting for? We are fighting for the protection of all bird kind. Who are you fighting against? Thronebreaker. His ilk and the storm. Why? The storm has clouded his mind. He seeks to spread the storm. If he has his way, the earth itself will be wiped clean. The storm that I unleashed. Yes. This is my fault. It is no fault of yours. No. The storm is uncontrollable.

Many have tried and failed to yoke it to their cause. But we did break it out of containment. I'm trying to get you off the hook a little bit here. I see what you're trying to do. I'm just saying there is some responsibility here. Possibly. And I appreciate you fighting our fight. Which is your fight. I'm not trying to take away your fight. Just sorry, dude. For doing this to you. And all your friends who died. That sucks. That sucks. Apology accepted, but unnecessary.

War is the fate of the warrior. And I, a warrior, am a warrior. That's deep. You really got stoic and serious and shit. War will do that to a bird. Do you still like to perform? Do you still know how to juggle? I haven't performed in nigh on however long it's been since I've seen you last. So you have not come to fight then? Not this war. We're fighting a bigger, bigger battle, my friend. What battle is that? I pull out the arrow. With the raven fletches on it. We're going for my father.

Nathaniel. My daddy. Daddy Nathaniel. Ah, I see. And we're also trying to get to a glacier that a wizard named Adernick Allwater used to live in. They said it was past a mountain range called the Jaws. Do you know where that is? Yes, but it is not a mountain range. What is it? It is a section of the ocean. What? Yes, this is what I said when I introduced the Jaws in the first place. Called the Jaws because the shifting flows destroy ships that pass through.

And there's giant frozen chunks of ice in it. Right, and it looks like jagged teeth. Exactly. Is it a frozen ocean? Partially. Much like the Arctic. Some of it's frozen, some of it's not. It's unpredictable, but I care not for the sea. Okay. Not even a little bit? My war is in the skies, Bing. In the skies. Cloudpiercer, our friends are back in the town. But I think we're going to have to leave after that. I mean, we were trying to be secretive and that was the opposite.

Will you take us up north and can one of your friends get our friends? Yes, this can be done. You have done us a great service this day. Thronebreaker does not often lose, but today, his humiliation will be felt. Also, what's the deal with the Beezor? Can he not cast lightning or whatever now because he doesn't have Beezor anymore? Yeah, does it grow back? Yeah. It does, yes. But it will take some time. And in that time, his power will be diminished. And will he hide in that time? He will.

He must. So we've bought you some time at least. You have. Peace is here. No. But for now, yes. That's what I meant. Okay. You've got a little… Chunk of peace. Yeah, a little bit. A moment of respite. Yes. To clean up our mess. Exactly. And so, you are welcome to rest here. May we join your flock. You may. But the storm and the sea carry much around the world. And there's something I believe that you have lost that I have found. And he walks into a cave in the side of the cliff.

And he rustles around in whatever's in there. So cute. And he comes back and clutched in his beak is a simple leather fanny pack. Fuck. What? I thought it was Allison's scarf. Never mind. That's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacome Tome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz. Playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Loppers. Bye. Playing Fat Billy the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. It's okay. We'll get her scarf back. I don't care.

I don't want it back. I know you do. Yes, you do. Clap your soul. Find it again. Thank you to Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music. So incredible every time. You can find all the music performed on the show at SoundCloud. You can find Aaron's album, Healthy, at aaronreid.bandcamp.com. And if you want us to support the show on Patreon and get access to a bunch of bonus content and all that kind of cool shit, join us at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please.

And you know what? Thank you to you for listening. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resume Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

If you like our show and you'd want, and you want to hear some more of our show or similar shows or content that didn't get into the show, go to the Patriot and there'll be some of that over there. Oh, that was good. You bailed on yourself. Gather round friends. Let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold, a brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name. You know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute. He knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health. He shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief. His tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest. They may not be, but their friendship, their ways, their smarts. So gather round friends and listen close. For the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Sorry I yelled at you, Jessica. Thank you. Playing Bing, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. I'm also sorry I yelled at you, Jessica. Thank you. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Thank you. When last we left our heroes, they arrived at the outskirts of Sheer City, part of the free territories of the North.

They arrive at the city and stop at Yorick's, a motor inn on the outskirts of the city, run by an old ass orc named Yorick. Run. Possibly run into the ground by. Yeah. Possibly squatted in by. Yes. Also, orc is in quotation, marks too, because he was really asserting that he's for sure an orc. Definitely specified a lot. His orcishness. They spent some time in Yorick's, a dusty old motor in with no other customers or visitors of any kind.

He upcharged them on everything or tricked them into paying for multiple things, including a bottle of alcohol that he just referred to as old blue, which we then all decided was distilled with the magical waters. Uh, found in the frozen North soaking up magic from long, long ago and locking it in the ice deep beneath the surface. Perel slammed it, which sent him into a drunken stupor slash, uh, drunken master, drunken master vision.

He was absolutely plastered and used his ion candle to meditate on a subject using something called the boundless thought principle in which he folds his mind into many minds. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. There are many possibilities at once. He came to suddenly said, I know how to get my magic back and then immediately passed out. Uh, and Ving was a penis on his forehead. I mean, everybody took their time to draw a penis on Perel's forehead.

And then we rolled him into the recovery position because we're friends. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Leaving him to, uh, to heal in a previously boarded up room that York cranked open for you with mirrors on the roof.

Roof and shag carpet on the floors Ving attempted to help by calling on the elements and spirits and instead received a troubling vision of Cloudpiercer the Thunderbird in danger fleeing towards the city of Shire running outside to see his friend Ving saw Cloudpiercer descend through the clouds followed closely by Thronebreaker king of all Thunderbirds oh yeah that rack focus when you zoom that you move the camera towards a character and zoom at the same time on his face as Thronebreaker came in from the clouds behind him oh yeah like this yeah and Ving took on a magical bird form made of moonlight ice and concrete gravel parking lot debris yeah garbage Tuck and Billy hopped on and rose into the skies passing through the cloud cover and finding a pitched battle a Thunderbird civil war of sorts the storm itself lashing out in fury a battle was undertaken Tuck did a Thor Ragnarok style jump off the back of Ving's bird form it was the coolest thing I've done probably all season yeah it was amazing yeah I said it's gonna be painted on the side of a van someday yeah oh absolutely before I jumped I said someone draw this I told the fan I said someone do fan art of this and then Tuck yelled remember me and jumped I hope Trevor driver's doing that on the side of the side absolutely that's what he's doing yeah next time you see his truck it's gonna have an airbrushed painting of Tuck fighting Thronebreaker Tuck shattered Thronebreaker's bezoar causing the immense massive Thunderbird to flee and Cloudpiercer took you back to the roost of his forces in the mountains where you can find a safe place to rest and heal for a moment as you discussed your current quest of heading further north to the jaws and the glacial tower of Adderneck all water cool and he wrapped up this beautiful reunion explaining to you that he had recovered something that you had once lost and brought to you a simple leather fanny pack and that is where we find our heroes now he stands there for a while with the fanny pack in his beak I take it from him I hug him his neck a big wing comes up around you enveloping you in a feathery hug so this is so it is it's this is yours then right this is yours there's only one way to find out and then Tuck flips it open and whoop whoop whoop whoop it unfolds into a tent it's our house it's there's only one way to find out Tuck says again and he walks inside and on the shelf is a butternut squash absolutely rotten I like the idea that it's gone through the rotten phase into a dehydrated perfectly preserved it still holds some of that shape yeah hot what was I doing with this Tuck says was I jerking off to this or what was the thing Billy looks away I don't want to talk puts a hand on your shoulder yes yes you were was I yeah you were like you bought that gourd because it was the shape of a woman and you were like it's for me laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing okay so by way of an actual reintroduction into the space instead of immediately rack focusing on a shelf with a rotten butternut squash kidding me no we're keeping that alright so yeah you head back in and you see almost exactly as you left it a sitting room with couches and chairs a fireplace a painting of a very arrogant looking wizard with mutton chops and a mustache mustacheless beard above the mantle beneath is like a brass plate that morris put there it says morris wadge a man ahead of his time you know what it because I remember it did say morris wadge master of arcane architecture but it does now say morris wadge a man ahead of his time wait what yeah the plaque says something different what yeah and uh you see a kitchen a small kitchen with a little potbelly stove cupboards a drawer that is absolutely full of stolen rags and uh various detritus like forks and spoons and stones yeah smells like a barn in here it does and it still has like the charcoal uh circle I drew around it being like billy's room right all your handprints yeah yeah it's got a flap on the other side leading to another section presumably but with a note pinned to it that says danger room do not open and it's toggles that are keeping it closed right yeah it's just wooden like tent toggles can I discern realities yeah absolutely great seven eight so you get one question off the discern realities list okay I remember it being bigger thing says and then tuck puts his hand on his shoulder he's like it's because you've grown buddy what happened here recently what happened here recently uh you look around and the thing that you are like really surprised by is how much everything looks exactly as you left it the butternut squash is seemingly worse for wear for some reason but like all the stuff you go to your drawer and everything is where you put it where things were dusty where you didn't clean they're still dusty in those places and you're like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry but there are some spots that you did dust that are undusted like it's it seems like a lot of this place is precisely as it was when you left it ving's apothecary that he had set up with mason jars yeah they're like some of those should have been gone bad they're still good yep yeah and maybe one is like a couple centimeters to the right you know but besides that wait what why the right why senate what's a centimeter thing says I don't know yeah the standard unit of measurement here is a gall's 10 there's a half empty jar of uh mirrors's red pepper jelly yeah is it still good tuck dips his finger and taste it yeah it's still good billy dips his fingers in it you realize that it was done in the mudlark style which means that it was never good to begin with it was already fermented past any reasonable consumption what else could have gone bad in here tuck starts tasting things diving into the fridge what what are you getting dice for I don't know to figure out what's gone bad you can just check you know I mean if you want to discern realities to get actual information for sure but you don't have to roll the taste of thing okay uh yeah tuck just starts tasting things yeah most stuff tastes exactly like you'd expect it to taste and then tuck goes most of it tastes exactly how I would have expected it to taste but there is a little bit of there's a little pang of like uh a heartburn no there's a little pang of nostalgia because you're tasting a lot of the flavors that mirrors used in his cooking oh billy's taking the the red pepper jelly to his drawer and he's having alone time ving's gonna try and make a what was his thing yeah I'm gonna try and make a with based on my memory in the tastings I'm gonna whip up some pie we need some food yeah we're all pretty beaten up so ving starts the half day process of making paella I'm just gonna wake up with quick paella and as you're all standing there an enormous bird's head pokes into the room is is everything all right I didn't he looks around and goes I don't know what I expected this to be but it wasn't this I remember you having a fanny pack and I forgot that it did this do you want to come in I don't think that I can I am I'm grown now I'm a I'm a man bird I'm a full grown bird man do you have a wife or a kid or something I have yet to find a mate oh so you're still a virgin I I am a warrior above all things whether or not my cloaca has kissed that of another bird is beyond here or there the battles that has been my primary concern oh yeah the storm halting throne breaker and his heralds what happens if throne breaker wins the storm scours the planet all right kills everybody yes it is all throne breaker and his wish for is the destruction of the storm well how do you win what's your plan I've been fighting so long I scarcely wonder if I remember something has to be able to stop the storm I I fear it is throne breaker's death should I spell laura yeah yeah go ahead does someone not fucking stupid you're all unfortunately stupid so I think that anybody has an equal chance wait wait a minute because I have a special move because I'm a bard bardic expert when you first encounter an important creature location or item which I guess is the storm yeah you can ask the gm one question about it and the gm will answer truthfully the gm may then ask you what legend song or tale you heard that in what are my things again gods and their servants legends of guitar heroes past and histories of the grand world would lily encounter as a god yes yeah yeah okay and wouldn't like throne breaker he's probably going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to be the one who's going to kind of considered a servant of those gods yeah he is a servant of the storm the store I would say that counts yeah which is a god in its own right yeah how do you stop the storm sean that's a very interesting question because there aren't any stories like this really this is all these are connections that tuck is trying to make himself based on his experiences and his knowledge god connections I have to it's just I have to go to my mind palace which is just a this is a question I'm going to ask you I'm going to ask you I'm going to ask you I'm going to ask you down pizza hut where he does brain crosswords he's just sitting like word searches in his own mind in the booth of a sit down pizza hut he's got one of those kids drawing yes tables I connect the dot he's making his own connected dots remember so many crayons scattered and broken crayons and then a menu that you can color on and everybody else in the sit down pizza hut looks like tuck but wearing different clothes so there's somebody in a pizza hut uniform that's like wait so okay so here's what I'm thinking so you guys went to this moon rock right yeah and that was like part of uh lillian's like uh mind and spirit like where savarna was no not savarna the other one under the under the tower but he goes but savarna though uh so no not that one the one under the fort oh right where storm and norman was yeah where we fought the the magi right where where yeah where we killed roth yeah so there was a moon piece down there right!

And that was like a big thing of like grief yes that infected billy and everybody while we were fighting right it made us all really sad when I smashed it with the axe yeah yeah yeah so what if the storm is connect because you're you're the knife glows in the storm yeah so what if the storm is connected to another piece of the moon oh yeah and if you destroy that would that end the storm another talk just came and put pancakes down it's like so so I gotta find whatever piece of the moon is connected to the sadness and then kill it I I don't know I guess okay it's got to be moon stuff right it's got to be moon stuff yeah and then it cuts to like what tuck is actually doing and it's he's standing there with a with looking at the knife the waiting knife and going like moon stuff moon stuff I just imagined it coming back to tuck and he's just standing there stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck It's gotta be moon stuff.

Yeah. And then it cuts to like what Tuck is actually doing. And it's, he's standing there with the, with looking at the knife, the waning knife and going like moon stuff, moon stuff, moon stuff. I just imagined it cutting back to Tuck and he's just standing there mouth agape, eyes wide, not saying anything. Bing is making a paella. Tuck, oh, he looks back. Oh, he's in his mind, Dinah. Oh, give him some time. Okay.

So, so knowing what you now know about the shattered moon and the remnants that fell to the earth, the storm might be able to grow in strength due to a proximity to some sort of fragment of the moon. Oh yeah. Cause it was initially being powered by like the eye of the storm, which was a confluence of magical energy from the sea and spirit energy from the spiritual plane, but is now out and free and just either thrashing wildly, or looking for something maybe. Uh huh. Yeah.

So we can track down the piece of the moon that it's connected to. It could potentially. Yeah. Stop it or slow it or destroy it. Or we could anchor it back in the sea of graves. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Yeah. Maybe you could find a piece of the moon and use that to lure it back to the sea or something. So I guess I tell cloud piercer that. Hmm. Interesting. Yeah. I'll share this with my flock. Cool. And we will see what we might find. But I understand you have somewhere else that you wish, to be.

Yeah. Uh, Billy's, uh, been crying into the jelly. He's like, yeah, we have to go up to the glaciers to look for a wizard. Right? Yes. Past the jaws. I can, I can facilitate this flight either personally or, or I can send you with someone else. I prefer it was you. If you have the strength, he nods. Maybe this pie will help in 10 hours. Ah, yes. The pie will strengthen me for the flight. For the meantime, rest. The battle has ended, but many are wounded. We, we need time.

So please, I will give you your time alone. Your friends will be here shortly. Okay. Thanks. Cloud piercer. He nods his big bird head and then looks like you can't see his body, but it looks like he awkwardly backs out of the, the tent. His beat kind of scratches along the ground. His big wings are flapping to try to do the backwards thing. I want to give him a, I have the bird necklace. It's made out of wood. Oh, I'm like, wait, I like run outside. Like, can you watch this stuff? Tucker?

Like, how the fuck do we cook? We've never instantly that scene in Mrs. Delphi. Your boobs are on fire. But yeah, you're standing on the edge of a, of an airy with cloud piercer towering above you. I just, I just, wherever we go, I just wanted you to be able to find us here. I've kept this close and show him the thing. And then I, I, I want to manipulate the wood and turn it into a shape of a man or an elf. Oh yeah. To change it and then give it to him to wear. Cool.

Can you remind us what this like medallion necklace is? It's a little wooden necklace that I got from Aquarius. Yeah. Right. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And then was connected to cloud piercer cloud piercer and allowed you. Yeah. To stay connected to him. Yeah. I don't know what I'm doing here, but I want to make it, um, the shape of the three of us and give it to him. And so he can find us wherever we go. Yeah, totally. We can just call that like an eye of the tiger type use. Okay, cool.

You put it around his neck. So he's got this tiny little necklace around his big, huge bird neck. Yeah. But you get it around his neck and you can tell there there's a lot, the feathers make him look a lot bigger than he is. So he's got a skinny little neck under there. Yeah. Very well. I will. I will. Treasure this always being. It is very good to see you again. Always. A lot of things have changed. A lot of things are going to change.

Remember why you're fighting with the side that you are fighting. I will. The connection's always there. And if there's anything that we can do, please let us do it. Thank you. Come back in 10 hours. I, I, I, okay. Billy, he comes running out with like pot lids, all smoking. And he's like, then you have to come back in right now. What are you doing? He's on fire. Tell me you're stirring the risotto. Tell me.

Cloud piercer watches you run back into the tent and turns and walks into his little cave. Presumably to go to sleep. Yeah. And you walk in and tuck is smashing the pot with his ex. Cause it's on fire. Putting out a fire with his ex. It's like, I've tried sneak up on me. You fucking fire. I don't see a tree in here. Stove is trying to kill me. Probably 15, 20 minutes later, uh, Perel and Maggie walk in to the tent. Maggie striding in, looking around like, oh, there you are.

Oh, I'm so glad you're safe. That was, these birds are huge. And Perel walks in behind her with his arms straight out and his legs like locking as he walks. Are you okay, buddy? They fly so fast and so high. He's so hung over and it's cold. And my head is going to explode. I'm going to go. And he just walks right over to the couch that he used to sleep on and gets on it and curls up into a ball and grabs the back of his robe and pulls it up over his head and immediately goes to sleep.

I put a bucket next to him. Thank you. And then I grab a blanket from the back of my head. I'm like, Oh, I'm so tired. There's a wicker basket full of like different fuzzy blankets that are clearly from an Indigo and I cover him with it. Yeah. And he pushes it off because too scratchy. My skin is on fire. And he starts snoozing away. And so you guys are just going to have a dinner or is there anything you want to share? Like a dinner, a chill time. Yeah. Yeah. It's 10 hours later.

Ving is covered in sweat, too exhausted to eat. She's like, there. It's like, didn't turn out that great. It gets fine. Yeah. Right. It's one of those meals where it took so much of the day that by the time you eat it, it was never going to be good enough to justify. Yeah. Billy has his pie spread out on his high chair table. He's like fistfuls into his mouth. He thinks like an actual toddler. And Maggie looks over at the danger room. We don't go in there, Maggie. What is it though?

It's a danger room. Clearly. What do you, it's the only thing that's clearly labeled in this entire, but danger room means there's something dangerous in there. Yeah. And it's a room and you just sleep next. You guys were just sleeping next to it. Yeah. Hey, I have a question. What? It, if the thing with the box that led to this whole thing that was, uh, imprisoning and she kind of thumbs over at Perel quietly was that there wasn't enough magic in the world to maintain the wards on the box.

So you had to take it to the hot, hot spot at the vault to keep those wards going. Yeah. Why does this still work? Do we Spout Lore? Uh, yeah, you could Spout Lore to be six plus intelligence. Oh, wow. Holy shit. Fucking hell. Yeah. I'm so smart. 11. Just for context, Jessica, what was your role? Uh, 11. What's your modifier? Zero. Okay. So smart, barely smart enough. Uh, okay. So, so using that information, what traditionally has continued to empower magical objects?

Uh, ice crystals, crystals, crystals. Yeah. Uh, magical water field. Oh yeah. Water arcane stuff. Wow. Honestly, when I asked this question, I thought the answer was so clear. No, we could fit tuck shots, Sean up. And he's like, he looks at billion things. Like we can figure this out. We have brains. We have brains and we have so much brains. Yeah. They're filled with knowledge. Yeah. Okay. So stuff that holds magic crystals, the crystals. And then we look at Maggie. She says, no objects.

People. Is it the PP monster water? I think I literally just said it. We were hardly listening. Oh, the vaults, the stone boxes within the vault being, uh, Ward stone where it's no way. Guys, come on. God, dude. Why are you asking such hard questions? Well, we also told you dot to tell us within the vault. Yes. Is why is the vault where the vault is? Cause it's at a tower. It's a hotspot. This tent is a hotspot. This tent is a hotspot. Is that what it is? Is danger room, wifi hotspot.

And then tuck pushes Ving to the ground and he goes, I thought of it first. Are you racing Ving? I'm not racing. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Are you racing Ving to the wall? Danger. Maggie holds, stands up and holds her hands out somehow. I have one of those things with a rope with two balls on the end of it. Roll two to six plus dexterity. Nice eight. It means that Tuck starts running past Ving.

Ving throws a bola at Tuck. It's a bolo tie. Yeah, it's a bolo tie that he throws and starts running past Tuck. It wraps around Tucks legs. And Tuck falls but grabs Ving and pulls Ving to the ground. I grab Ving's pants and I pants all his pants down. I was going to say. His whole ass is just out now. Billy's launched himself out of the high chair. Paya flies everywhere. There's shrimp and dewy sausage, peppers all over the place. I'm going to get there first. Tuck throws a book at Billy.

Just like a plush baby book? No, no, no. He throws like a big book. He reaches over to one of the shelves. Because there's bookshelves in here. And he throws just the first book he grabs. Yeah, 2D6 plus dexterity. At his son. It's four. How does Billy not get hit by a book? The book is… Tuck grabbed the A encyclopedia, which is the biggest one. And it was too heavy to get to Billy. So it just doesn't get near him. It just arcs and hits the ground. So Billy gets to the flap first.

And Maggie is there. And she reaches down to grab Billy. Whoa, I fight back. Oh, no. Okay, yeah. 2D6 plus dexterity. Jesus. Sick. I got a 12. Yeah. I do the thing that cats do. Where he flips onto his back. So that he's scratching at her arms. Whoa, what the fuck? Let me go. Let me go. All right, all right, all right. Everybody stop. Everybody stop. And I land on all fours. And there's peace for a moment. Yeah. And Tuck's… His face is wedged into Ving's ass. Bare.

Tuck is nostril deep in Ving's holes. All right, stop. What? We already know that this is dangerous. Mm-hmm. And now we suspect there may be a hot spot somewhere in this thing. So we gotta be careful. Leave it alone. Okay? There is… Okay. A tiny fart. Okay. Ugh. Fuck. Okay, fine. We already have a thing that we're doing. We already have a dangerous wizardy thing that we're going to do. We don't have to do this right now. What would the hot spot do? Just for me. What is…

If there's a hot spot in there somewhere… So a hot spot is a place where a wizard left the world, basically. It's where they, like, fucked off and did their own thing. Maybe more popped out through there. Yeah. Through here. And it… It becomes sources of concentrated magical energy. They can be tapped. Yeah. It sort of leaks out. So, like, a wizard will be able to sense it and sort of, like, power up almost. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. And then any arcane objects will also power up.

So, like, those blue crystals you have, are they doing anything? Oh. Did I hold on to those? Perel took them. Perel took them? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the… When you went to the hound, Perel was like, I'm going to hold on to these. Okay. Because Billy kept putting them in his mouth. Oh. Yeah. Right. Because they taste kind of sour and acidy. Yeah. Like a battery. Yeah. They taste like putting a battery on your tongue. Okay. I take Perel's little pouch and I… Okay. Just relax.

I got to check something. Just your pocket, Perel. I just don't. And he just takes his pants off completely. Whoa. No, no, no, no, no. And hands you his pants. And then curls back up. He's under a blanket. Yeah. He's wearing underwear. And I pull the pouch. I'm wearing a pouch of these crystals that we got from that sniper that tried to kill us at the fort. Uh-huh. And I dump it out. Yeah. What do they look like? They look like crystals. Are they glowing more? No, they just look like crystals.

But something that you would remember, basically, is that they kind of always look like crystals unless they're being utilized in some way. Tuck puts one in his mouth. Yeah. It kind of tingles. Same. Yeah. I put the other one in my mouth. Is it more electricity? No. The ones that you have would taste the same. I light the ion candle. Wait, that one's already flamed out. Yeah. He burned that one out during his meditation. I realized that I just, it's another candle that's shaped like an owl.

It was already half melted. I shall light the ion candle. It smells like apple cinnamon. This is from Home Sense. I got it from a winner's Home Sense. There's a winner's side. I got two. I got some shorts. I thought everything was magical. But I mean, you guys being even somewhat slightly capable of abstract thought would think that these crystals, if they are batteries, as you have… They're already charged. They're either already charged or they're fully charged now being in this place.

What if I wrap, like tie a string around one of them and throw it into the room? Through the toggles? Yeah. I like that. Interesting. Interesting. Can I try it? You can try it. Let's go defy danger wisdom. Seven. Seven. Shit. Good. So I grab a loose thread from one of my rags and I start ripping at it and tying it around one of the balls, one of the crystal balls. And Ving and I are just watching you like parents that are watching their kid do a science experiment. Totally.

And then once I have like probably 20 feet of string, I toss it under the flap. Yeah. So you have to like kind of pick the flap up and like shove it under, but you push it through and you immediately feel resistance. Oh. Oh. So I kick it as hard as I can. Yeah. And you're just kicking a rock against what feels like a stone wall. Oh, this is stupid. Tucker goes, use shadow dance to push it through. Do I have it? One second. You'd have to do fairy child, but you probably. Is it a new day?

I think I'm out. I am out. I know that from last time. Oh, right. Yeah. Is it the same day? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because it took 10 hours to make the pie. Yeah. You guys have been resting for a long time. Yeah. So you're probably up pretty late. It's two o'clock in the morning. This is, I actually made, took too long to make Thanksgiving dinner when this is exactly what happened. I had to wake everyone up in the house and the dinner was awful.

It was a thing where we kept falling asleep and Vin kept getting hurt that we were dozing off. Uh-huh. Which unfortunately means that it has not been another sunrise yet. I have to wait, Tuck. Fuck. I know. We can wait. You know what? We need some rest. No. Fuck this. Wait. No. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. And Perel wakes up. I was about to shove it in with the axe. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not going to work. I run up to Perel's face and I hold in my hands. It's not going to work.

Perel, why isn't it going to work? It's classic Thalmic architecture. What does that mean? All those words. It means that, so the danger room exists when you're opening the door under incorrect circumstances and the other spaces exist when you open the door under correct circumstances in every other circumstance, the space does not exist. So we have to open it the right way? Yeah. And if you open it the wrong way, then the danger room, but you're not opening it all.

You're trying to shove something through it while it's closed. So it's not there. Would Morris have even thought of this eventuality? Yes. Someone trying to shove something in there. Look, Morris, I love Morris and also I hate Morris more than anybody else in existence. The painting jerks a little. You shut the fuck up. Don't you say anything. I love Morris and I hate him more than anybody that's ever existed, but he was a very, is, was, he's very good at what he does.

So he prepared for the eventuality that someone would try and shove something through while the door was closed. Tuck tries to shove it in. You're not going to fucking tell me how to use an ax, bitch. Nice. What are you trying to just 2d6 plus strength? Yeah. I'm using the handle of the ax to like push it in. Yeah. Cause it's a spirit ax. Uh huh. So maybe it can slip through. But like magic and spirit is like oil and water.

So yeah, if magic is, if this is the oil, maybe it can push through the water. Does that make sense? Yeah. Go ahead and roll it. 2d6 plus strength. It makes sense that Tuck would try this for sure. Yeah. It really does. Eight plus three is 11. Yeah. So you push with all your might. Like it's like, you can see all the muscles in Tuck's body. His body's straining. He's starting to sweat. It's just the most. For a second. He's cut. For a split second. Oh my God.

He sweats out all of the water weight in his body. Yeah. Uh, for this moment, there's a field of mist around him. That's all his water weight. It's like the produce section at the grocery store where the mist machine turns up. It's this massive, like grunting, this crescendo of force and pressure and effort. And at the very height of this. This physical exertion, the ax moves an inch and a half. Suck on that. Perel. Perel kind of like starts to unhang himself.

He's, he's hang over undering himself. Yeah. And he goes, what the fuck did you do? And he goes over to where the string is and he lifts the flap. And if you were looking, you would see the string. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't do that again because I don't know what's going to happen. He's got the most serious face I've ever seen.

As an academic, as a professional, as a master of the Thaumic arts, I'm begging you to not do that again. Don't. Tuck's eyes and Abdul's eyes are flittering around the room. Should I do it? Tuck keeps pushing. Okay, fine. Keep pushing, I guess. I don't know if you're trying to lose your axe or what the deal is here. Will I lose it if I keep pushing? I don't know. Oh, can I tug on the string a bit to see if the ball comes out or not? The string does not move. Whoa, don't do it, Tuck.

Pull on this. Pull. Why did I say it like that? Pull on this and Billy holds out his finger. He holds out his finger, which has the string on it. I pull Billy's finger. No, not that. Ow. You just pick Billy up off the ground. The string. Okay, and I grab the string. I put the axe down. I start tugging on it. Yeah, 2D6 plus strength. This is like we found a fucking nuclear reactor and we're shoving gum into it. Yes, yes. You guys are throwing rocks at the elephant foot in Chernobyl. Snake eye.

Amazing. Jesus fuck. Yes. String snaps. We all three of us fly across the room. No. And I slam against that wall. My ball. And yeah, the crystal's gone. All evidence that the string was ever passing through anything is gone. It seems like the string severed at the exact point of transgression and is gone. Okay. Billy's doing that thing where kids are laying on the ground in a tantrum and he's kicking his legs and going in a circle. Like flopping around. Yeah. Just like a three. Three.

He's having a floppy tantrum. Uh huh. Yeah. I think Pearl's probably pretty pissed too. Those crystals are pretty cool. He's standing there in an open robe in his wizard robe. Open underwear tank top underneath. What? Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Now I have to. And he walks over to the bookshelf and grabs a couple of arcane texts that are there and he goes and he sits in a corner and he starts opening them and writing stuff down. Great. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Billy goes to Pearl.

Can you get my. Can you get my bulb? I don't know. I don't know anything that's happening in here anymore. Fucking hate that stupid fucking Morrison. Goddamn stupid ass fanny pack. Just build a house in a normal place where the laws of reality apply. You stupid bitch. And then Tuck goes over and he taps the nameplate. And he's like, why did this change? Yeah. What do you mean? This changed. This used to say something else. And now it says something else. Yeah. It says a man before his time. Now.

Before it said master of arc. Can architecture. Is he still around? Is he listening to us? Is this painting real? I, I, I mean this so seriously. I need you all to leave me alone. Sean or Pearl. That's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master. Sean O'Hara. I'm going to go put my fist through a plate glass window. No, no, it's just Perel. Perel's just like, I just need you all to go away. Like 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes. I don't know. I'll get back to you.

And he kind of like crosses his legs and puts a book on his lap and seems to fall into a stance similar to the one that he took in your X and that you've seen him take like in meditation. Oh, this is, this is serious business. I just, there's a, I have a lot of questions now and I have to see if I can answer them. And I don't know what's going on in this fucking fanny pack anymore. I hate this thing. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to go. I'm going to go.

And I just need to do a little bit of work. So that hate is not going to help you work. You need to put that aside. Hate always helps me work. Do you know how much wizard progress has been made out of spite? Yeah. And what happened to the wizards? I'm just saying if you accept Morris and what's happening in the situation, the place you're in, it's going to go better than hate. Yeah. Cause you know what the opposite of hate is Perel? That. And he points at the gourd. I don't hate that gourd.

I, I, I hate that gourd a lot. I maybe put too much of the gourd in the paella. You put it in the paella. Okay. I'm just going to, I'm just going to try and do some calculations here. Okay. Okay. Do some breathing too. I'm going to breathe. I'm going to take a breath. I'm going to have a little bit more of the paella. It's it is delicious. You did a great job. We're going to leave you alone in soon. Thank you. Really soon. We're going to leave you alone. Yeah.

We're going to leave you alone soon. Perel. Pretty soon. We all back up. Yeah. And we stare at him. Is this far enough? Uh, yeah. And he just starts flipping through a bunch of books and trying to, uh, work on some stuff. What are you guys doing? I guess we could just like hang on the cliff and give him the tent. Yeah. I, I'm down with that. I also do have to sleep. I was electrocuted quite badly. Yeah. I think we need to actually rest. We can take a rest. Yeah. You guys can sleep for sure.

Maybe you can go sleep with, uh, cloud piecer. Yes. Thank you. Yeah. We can cut to the morning easily unless Ving wanted to go out and do something with a knife. I was just going to commune with the knife outside and commune with the whispers of the land. Yeah, absolutely. Great. You go out on the cliff and you see it is quite gray. The cloud cover does reach below the mountains, but you see the night sky above you, the moon, the coronet. The stars. They have the knife. Is it glowing? Faintly.

Faintly. In, in the way that it is like it, it seems to be reflecting moonlight, but not giving off a light of its own. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I want to spend time in a place making know of its resident spirits. Yep. The moon. Roll plus wisdom. You'll be granted a vision of significance to you and the spirits around you. 10 plus. It's clear and helpful. Seven to nine. It's unclear. I guess six. Six. Uh, so on a six, that's just a six. Yeah. So on a six, that's just a straight up failure. Yeah.

Can we aid him in this? Yeah. If someone's out here with him, you can, you can tell me how you're trying to aid him. Yeah. I'm out there with him and I'm babbling about the stars. Uh huh. Oh, cute. Yeah. Very cute. What's some star stuff that Billy's saying? So that one is, uh, the small bear and that, that star right there is the nose. And if you connect all the other little stars around it, it makes it like fat little body. Oh my God. I see it. Yeah. It is.

And then underneath it are the pine cone, uh, constellations. Uh, see, it's making a nest and then the mama bear, which is over there, I think might be on the other side. There's clouds everywhere else. Yeah. I don't know. Is it like a thing where Billy is like, as he's talking, it's like the thing where Billy's play becomes real and you start seeing the stars like moving. Yeah. Yeah. Like Hercules. Yeah. That's exactly what I was imagining. I love it. Uh, 11. Excellent. Yeah. Huge.

Whenever you try and connect to the spirit world, it's always, it's a very risky thing. Like you're reaching out across these places that, and it's so often been a traumatizing experience that you feel that like pressure building, like a balloon that's been blown up too much. I'm hesitating going in. Yeah. And then the presence of Billy helps calm you and pull you back from like the edge of connecting to the harsher parts of the spirit world. That's makes sense. The playfulness.

Thank you, Billy. You're welcome. I'm glad you're here. And you notice you have the knife in your hands. The blade is resting on one hand and the handle resting on the other. And you notice as you're like moving the blade around, the light is growing and dimming depending on what direction it's pointing. Hmm. Like a compass. And it's ever so imperceptible and maybe it has something to do with the fact that it's under the full moon right now. It's also my light sight. Maybe I can see. Yes.

You can see the differences in the light in that are imperceptible to anybody else. But you do notice that the light does seem to be sensing something. In the direction possibly of the moon chunk. And Billy continues to talk about the stars. And that one is based on a tiara of Rosneald. I don't, I think. I don't really. Honestly, I don't know that much about these. I'm just kind of guessing. The only one I knew for sure was the pine cones. And even then. Yeah.

As Billy continues to speak about the stars, he's getting sleepier and sleepier. Yeah. And then I fall over with my jelly jar and I fall asleep. Grab them, let them down to the ground. Yeah. Put a fur on them. And Billy is all curled up to sleep on the edge of this cliff towering kilometers above sea level. I'm stuck out here for the night. Tuck climbed into a nest and is sleeping under the wing of a Thunderbird. Oh yeah.

And you see nests dotting the cliff side and birds are coming and going like there are massive birds swooping above you and alighting on high up nests. And their wing beats fill the air as the night carries on. Morning comes. Tuck wakes up with his arms around a Thunderbird. Yeah. The Thunderbird gently kisses Tuck's neck. He goes, Alison, no. Good morning. You mammals are so warm blooded. Alison, no. Being a billiard in the other room. Billiard. Who's Alison? I got my eyes shoot open.

Good morning. What? What do you mean? Who are you? You just crawled into my nest and fell asleep. You're so toasty warm. My name's Gale. Are you a Thunderbird? Yeah. I'm a Thunderbird. I'm a Thunderbird. I'm a Thunderbird. I'm a Thunderbird. I'm a Thunderbird. I'm a Thunderbird. I'm a Thunderbird. I'm a Thunderbird. Are you a Thunderbird? I am a Thunderbird. Okay. Gale is like sky blue and she has an emerald bezoar. Nice. Wow. Shot through with like almost lightning bolt shapes. Oh, cool.

Like kind of through her back. Yeah. I got some of those too and I point at like the electricity burns across my chest. Ooh. Tough guy. Thanks. I think I might have killed Throne Breaker. Oh. Kill Throne Breaker? Unlikely sweetheart. Okay. Okay. That's fine. Very familiar. I smashed his bezoar. Oh yeah. No, you did a great blow to Throne Breaker for sure. Okay. But he'll be back. Okay. I think you knew that. I did know that, but I guess I wanted to live in the fantasy that I did more than I did.

No, I understand that for sure. For sure. Whatever. Why you ask her about her? I'm being serious. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Chest and he's like at the coin shards and he's like this is kind of like a bezoar yeah except there's a demon in it oh that sucks does it hurt and she like gets way down close and her big eye is like right next to it I don't know I never asked does this hurt you tell me bro I don't think so I think it's just in there oh cool I can't tell if he feels pain or not I wish I could tell you if it hurts but I don't know sweet well I'm gonna go get something to eat okay bye she unfolds her wings it's like an actual gale force wind like blows so much shit off this cliff and cloud piercer pops out of the cave I see you met gail she's like she is one of my most trusted lieutenants and an absolute danger to everyone around her she has to build a new nest every morning we honestly we told her to stop building nests because every time she takes off all of the debris hits the nests below her so what conclusions did you come to did you rest well are you healed yeah I'm healed back up to 21 hit points do I also heal up yeah yeah tuck still has a minus one to wisdom because of his terrible dreams oh you had a terrible dream yeah yeah where now you watched everybody in pinewood be consumed by a fissure in the ground including my family including your family yeah and people that definitely weren't at pinewood yeah just everybody you know being killed in front of you right okay ah typical morning yeah but then you also apparently dreamt about allison or as you were waking up you imagined you were with allison one of those like midpoint wake up no allison was in the dream actually being killed in the fissure no interesting okay moving on I suppose glad you think so so cloud piercer says what's what's what next ving tells them about the knife and how it seems like it possibly is pointing towards something that might help us find a chunk of the moon but it's not clear it's meaning murky interesting if I am sending my flock out to attempt to track down a piece of this moon is this knife something that might aid us I was gonna say is it okay if we uh temporarily maybe not it's a waning knife yeah I don't know I think chimes might kill us if we give it away but what do you guys think like this might help them like defeat throne breaker like if we give it to them yeah for a bit okay but oh maybe it's like but you must give us something of yours to make sure it comes back like anytime you give somebody a knife they give us a coin coin that's the superstition to pay for the friendship so you don't cut your friendship interesting well I'm not sure that I have a coin but as I said the sea brings many things to the thunderbirds so perhaps in exchange you may rummage around in my stuff oh and roll for a treasure uh so are you agreeing to this you're gonna lend cloud piercer the waning knife in exchange for rummaging around in the sea this stuff I think so that's the offer that he's giving us this is that magic knife that uh um god gave you right yeah this is a magic knife that the patron of sailors gave us uh I think it belonged to his son and it is made out of his wife's body so you know it's pretty important to somebody and us yeah damn and he said he would kill us if anything ever happened to it and you're gonna give it away okay we trust you with our lives and claude piercer nods very stately thank you for trusting me with this do that thing when you bow really low and hold the blade up I do not have hands I'll just put that on your necklace thank you so much snap and so you may rummage around in my stuff please enter my roost I go in and it's like a teenager's room like it's a!

Absolutely cram full of shit there's like food waste everywhere there's like animal bones so cool something that looks like a fucking like there's like cow skulls all over the place whoa holy shit this is awesome I technically feast on the storm itself but due to the nature of such storm I have been forced to take sustenance in other ways cows cows are amazing and the only thing you have to do is be quick because the humans do not like when you take their cows but the trick is is if you fly fast enough they cannot stop you this is his new trickster form he's got really good at stealing cows and so he sweeps a wing over all the like branches that are bound up there's just like fucking shit in their stuff so uh who's we're gonna do it one time we're gonna roll on this should I just roll this a sealed glass vial filled with red liquid oh I pull that out a jar a mason jar of stuff I smell it you smell it and your your vision is immediately flooded with an image of a blossoming field of frost flowers in the boreal reach that you visited as a boy billy what do you smell can I smell billy smells uh god what would billy smell are these like nostalgic smells yeah kind of uh billy smells a wild strawberry field that he used to visit in secret in the woods uh yeah tux smells it what does tux smell the vent outside a pizza place yeah yeah the only way that you would be able to know what this actually does is if you drank it because there's no way for me to tell you without you knowing I take a little bit being drinks like a little dropper amount yeah you get a little sleepy but besides that doesn't seem like there's any discernible change right now oh any discernible effect really okay we'll see how that settles before you know we always got to try it slowly yeah okay cool thanks so you're just gonna take that little bottle of goo huh yeah okay I liked to play with that bottle of goo I hope that you treat it well and the knife this belongs to a god I'll find other goo and now our trade is complete whoa abdul gave me the waning knife now I can stab okay our trade is complete our bond has been forged the agreement has been set and you have given me a thing and I have given you a thing and so we understand that our union has been linked starting to understand less where to well we should probably check on perel oh right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's morning time very well then go check on your friend okay so I bust into the tent he's asleep perel wakey wakey eggs and bakey I'm making my big hangover breakfast what'd you learn okay well what did I learn what did I learn he's got a book he's eating a big hangover breakfast he's drinking some oj so here's what I think I have learned one the crystal is to all space and time no I I think theoretically no billy you have like eight of them had now it's an uneven number that is true there are only seven now okay billy here you go these seven are yours you can keep them billy turns around to ignore tuck billy no you thought it was cool when I was shoving it in and then tuck rummages around his backpack and he makes like a little he rips a page out of the book of sea shanties and then he makes a little like paper boat and he's like also I'll give you this and it's billy's tiny baby hand grabs it and he he plays with it that says nothing and now we'll never know what that sea shanty was yeah what significance it might have held it was called rich bitch mcgee it was about the richest pirate in all the seven seas and how everybody hated him so the weird thing about magical architecture is that the space that morris creates using thalmic energy he's channeling thalmic energy into the plane when he creates it but he is not creating new space he is just fitting more stuff into the same space okay you know what I mean okay so we're inside of a fanny pack that's like this big right now exactly but it seems like there's more space in here and not because it is just expanding endlessly into like a pocket dimension or something like that it just exists in the same molecular space that makes no sense it's magic billy oh of course it doesn't make sense but the danger room is a connection to another place that does exist oh but I don't know where that is where did I shove the thing that's the thing out of this realm entirely oh like outside of the universe whatever whatever paper thin infinitesimally small little razor of reality that morris is able to fit all of this stuff into you popped it through that some fucking how into another existence entirely it's gone it's elsewhere that's pretty cool that's pretty cool and then I high-five bing and I go for a high-five with billy and billy taps his hand while looking at the boat yeah and my other theory is that I don't even want to say it because it sounds dumb it makes me mad pours him another cup of coffee come on just say it's okay morris might be in here somewhere okay billy turns around for that can we look for him I don't know how he's in the painting no he's not in the painting he is the painting he's not he's not the we run up to the painting big over I go I had the idea first no I'm gonna get first okay here we go 2d6 plus dexterity okay then that's a 10 got him okay so I get to the ground like a rhino I slam through the chaise lounge and I skid into the fireplace beneath the no not the chaise lounge you fucking idiots and then billy tries to catapult off of tuck and I throw a book at billy all right 2d6 plus dexterity 12.

He grabs zed and it's like a razor yeah does billy try and dodge out of the way or does he just get absolutely just get smoked knocked out of the air yeah I backhand tuck I'm so sorry and now everybody's hurt and on the ground yeah I have the wind knocked out of me oh god he's got me in the painting tuck billy is a child no I'm not I'm very old and I deserve a lot of respect okay so we're just supposed to start whipping books at you now yes I imagine billy saying yes as he gets up and pulls exactly what happens so billy pulls a knife he pulls a knife he's like morris was you not to feed us and then I go to stab the painting I love it do it billy you don't have to roll to stab it the painting's not fighting back roll to stab it all right 2d6 plus dexterity I guess I got a six billy got a six is anybody gonna help him oh yeah I launch him okay throw him as you stab throw him at the painting 2d6 plus bond nice oh boy you slam him into the pit I was very excited do you throw billy into the pit like billy's got his knife pulling back to stab but he hits it as his knife is pulling back I've gotten stronger I'm winded again and you've done backhands you're right you're right and uh the knife goes spiraling out of billy's hand he hits the shattered remains of the chaise lounge lands on an encyclopedia it's only a and z he doesn't even have the whole set uh it's a and there's a book called two and then c and z and uh yeah you hit the ground and the painting is just like hanging by the edge of the wire that it was on like teetering on the on the wall which of course as we know all the walls are made out of the same leather that the fanny pack is made out of yeah and it's just hanging there he's mocking us look I'm laughing and then it falls and behind it is some sort of door whoa I knew it I knew it the door's about I'd say one and a half feet by one foot bro that son of a bitch and he goes up to it and he like tap it's got a very weird interface like the door is very strange there's a lot of stuff going on and he's like oh my god I'm gonna come up with some kind of a puzzle box I think I'm gonna come up with some kind of a puzzle box be cool if it was like those like old trunks where rich people would hide lockbox yeah so you have to like pull a lot of things out that's exactly what intricate weird yeah explain more what this is it's like it's locked using like sliding panels oh puzzle box this drawer doesn't open oh now I've moved this and this drawer opens so the whole thing is like a complex puzzle box yeah and perel's looking at it and he kind of taps it and puts his ear to it and slaps it a couple times and rubs it and then smells his fingers.

Gross. It's a safe. Oh, shit. It's a safe. He put a safe behind a painting like a gauche, tacky asshole. And we never checked, but of course he put a safe behind his painting. I'm gonna check. Oh, yeah, do it. Yeah. Get in there. I'm gonna use tricks of the trade where I pick locks. Here we go. Five. What? Plus two is seven. Seven. Oh, nice. So I still am able to unlock it, but the GM will offer me two options between suspicion, danger, or cost. Well, it's gonna be danger and cost. Okay. Hmm.

So I think Billy starts manipulating the safe door. And you know, it is something like, oh, you pull a drawer out and inside the drawer is a key. Is a key. And the key unlocks this panel. And inside this panel is a little like cushion. And if I open this panel, there's a little metal dog. And I put the dog on the cushion. And then the dog moves along a little track to another door that he scratches open with his little mechanical paws. Wow.

It's like a very complicated and every time something happens like the dog scratches open the panel and inside there's a little tea party. Yeah. And someone pours the tea every time one of those happens. Pearl goes, oh, but it's a key. And then the key opens. And it's like watching Billy just open an advent calendar. Yeah. Like a Blatchkey kid who came home and found a Canadian tire bag full of advent calendars. All 24 in one sitting. Yeah.

And as you're getting further along in the advent calendar safe, there's like an inlay of a tree and you turn this in the inlay leaves begin to fall down the panel and they pile up and then a fucking bird comes out of the leaves. You're like, oh, something is about to happen. It's almost like there are clues in the safe door itself. What's going to happen? Okay. So you come to two final mechanisms and the mechanisms are it's like a little split like a ping pong thing. Pinball. Yes. Oh, pinball.

Yeah. If you let the ball move to the left, the ball becomes the sun and a field of crops will grow. And if you let it go the other way, it becomes the moon and the tide comes in. Oh, great. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Which one do I want? I do love crops. Yeah. But the sun is hot, so I like the moon. You know what? It's been a while since I've seen a field of green. So we're going to go to the crops. Oh, we're with you.

So you the ball rolls down a couple shoots and lands in this outline that kind of gives it like the rays of the sun and little like tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, like wheat kind of pops up from this part of the panel. And you hear some movement from behind the flap. Wait, which flap? Which one? The danger room flap. Oh, shit. And the toggles one by one start to turn and fall away. Oh, no. Shit. Okay. And fall away and fall away.

And then from the bottom, the flap starts to roll itself up until it reveals darkness. And then inside, a growling. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara, joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long, everybody. Playing Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Take care, guys. Playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music.

You can find Aaron Reed's music at aaronreed.bandcamp.com and you can find all of the music produced for the show at our SoundCloud. Just speltloresoundcloud on Google will take you to that place. Yeah. If you want to get a bonus campaign, access to monthly streams, bonus content, art, gift boxes, and a whole whack of shit, go to patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. And thank you to all of our supporters for supporting us and thank you to you for listening.

We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of Adventures Three, who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be, for times abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute. Or do your chores and for you I'd gladly Spout Lore.

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P-a-t I'll start over sorry it sounds like a fucking Alta Vista ad gather round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight fingers half-elf he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief his tiny size does mask the largest heart best of all and braves they may not be but their friendship outweighs their smarts so gather round friends and listen close for the tale's about to start hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara and joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz hey everybody why are you blasting a flashlight in your open eyeballs because I want to wake myself up and light is good at that oh my god I can my eyes hurt watching you do that that's bad playing Ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers give me that thing no I love it playing Fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai hello should we just turn on a normal light no Abdul wants to destroy his retinas what if we put what if we came to a compromise and we just put the flashlight in the middle of the table well I don't know if that's a good idea I have kids who don't smoke weed dude so awake guys I feel so awake right now you do actually look quite awake how is it what do you got you can't see anything you just turned the glass you can't see anything oh my god wow how are you gonna know when you roll snake eyes again I'll feel it that's what he rolls his snake eyes he will understand that when he picks up dice it is going to be two ones when he rolls them this season is the snake eye season for me for sure it really is it's 100% it is when last we left our heroes they received a gift from the thunderbird cloud piercer in the form of their long lost fanny pack yeah thank you the fanny pack it's back they flipped it open hopped inside and found their living arrangement almost exactly as they left it with a few small changes the plaque underneath the portrait of Morris Wadge which originally read master of arcane architecture now reads a man ahead of his time one of Ving's jars was moved a couple centimeters to the right touch my fucking jars and Billy's scrap heap of a bed drawer untouched no way to tell if it was changed at all because it looks like a raccoon lives there already the gourd is rotten too yes the gourd rotted yeah the fuck gourd the porn gourd which definitely because a lot of other stuff like the ice and the ice chest didn't melt a lot of the foods are exactly the way they were yeah so it's not like something that Tuck did to the butternut squash it must be what caused it to rot in the first place I mean all I did was make a wish on it I didn't do anything else I just made a wish on it make a wish on it?

Yeah do you guys not do that?

That's not what I call it but they hung out in the fanny pack and Ving began making a paella in honor of their somewhere in the world friend Mears I attempted attempted to make a paella it took about 10 hours and it turned out okay he forced us to stay awake until 2am I am so sorry Perel and Maggie arrived Perel extremely hung over from his magical libation meditation session and slept on the couch passed out that's what my dad used to call it magical meditation libation session yeah Billy and the gang investigated the danger room flap after Maggie questioned what it might be really doing everything they could to just poke and prod this hole in the tent without exposing themselves to it without exposing themselves to danger somehow Tuck moved the visible wall of nothingness yeah Billy tried to tie a crystal to a string to throw it under the flap and see if it did anything but it just came up against a space that did not exist until Tuck took his axe shoved with all his might and made the crystal disappear possibly outside this plane of existence I'm so strong I popped something out of our universe I gave the universe a little hemorrhoid a little bit of prolapsed reality yeah that's how much of a fucking piece of shit I am when you did that forcing the crystal through Perel got so mad that he had to study yeah he grabbed some books and he did a bunch of studying as the paella was made Billy and Ving went out on the cliff while Ving communed with the spirits attempting to get some sort of information from the waning man knife finding that the knife seems to have the potential to act as a sort of compass directing him theoretically towards pieces of the moon which according to cloud piercer and tuck's bardic knowledge might be key to the thunderbirds ending the reign of terror that the storm is waging on the planet yeah everybody went to sleep tuck had a dream about allison but woke up in the uh nest and arms of a thunderbird named gail who just had a nice conversation with talk about how much she enjoyed sleeping in the same nest as him before taking off yeah uh and you went and talked to perel who explained that he believes morris might be somewhere in the tent yeah that's interesting like perel is probably excited even if he doesn't want to admit it by the idea that morris might be in the tent yeah what is more likely is that the hot spot that he used to leave the material plane is contained within the tent somewhere or within one of its uh realms many folded up rooms exactly there was the thought that the portrait of morris was either morris himself or contained morris in some way thought is a very strong term to use strongly assumed and the party decided to actively fight each other to try and get to the portrait after we fought each other to get to the flap yeah uh and it ended with ving pitching billy at the portrait like a cantaloupe yeah uh knocking the portrait from the wall of the tent revealing a safe oh yeah very elaborate make that billy then used his uh thiefy skills to very elaborately undo realizing that he had two choices to make one of which would trap you in the tent but one of you one of which would release a danger of some kind of danger and the other would trap you in the tent he went with his instinct and the entrance remains open and the flap to the danger room rose revealing a darkened entryway and a growl and that is where we find ourselves now what do you do can I speak to the growl sure oh gross sorry about that wet part can we do that again no ving says that to the ving sorry sorry sorry you hear um like and then what looks to be a rectangle made out of various materials with like a ton of little metal legs on either side gross big spider starts yeah not not so much but it's like that footstool dog from beauty and the beast kind of yeah it looks like an ottoman made out of like metal and wood and then with like a bunch of like metal and wood and then with like a bunch of metal and wood and then with like a bunch of like brass pointy legs like a like so many legs and it's like crawling out of the door oh my gosh it's a void creature is there a way to tell if it's dangerous 2d6 plus wisdom 6 minus 1 is 5 wow so tuck I guess tuck is probably the one that's looking right at it standing in front of it and it stops and you hear like a bunch of grinding and whirring like inside it and tuck goes uh and as you do that a bunch of compartments on it open up and then it expands and gets really long like it just it it's like the back half doesn't move but the front shoots out like a millipede and it and it like a duck's penis sure and all of its legs expand like along its length and it charges right at tuck and kind of grips onto you and starts wrapping around you oh god I take that the axe and I try and slice through it as it wraps around me roll a defy danger dexterity to move your arm before it traps it all right bone dice do not fail me so that's uh four okay roll a d12 this isn't fucking safe so yeah it's a six so six damage as this thing's metal legs like god grip into your flesh and it just it wraps around you but now your arms are like locked by your side you're constricted by the thing I want to stick the spear on the ground like just by its head as it's trying to go up him you know and then reef back and grab its head you can try and work it in there it is already wrapped around him yeah okay you can try and definitely pry it off I'm gonna try and peel the this thing off tuck like an orange yeah so uh 2d6 plus strength oh wow are you kidding me this is fucking bullshit I got 13 it sucks so don't worry tuck I'll help you you're welcome tuck is yelling about how angry he is yeah so you jam it in there and he's charging up the flashlight again he's stabbing it into his own eyeballs terrible so it wraps around tuck ving moves forward the spear you like jam it in between tuck and its body as maggie is like leaping across the room to try and help you yeah perel is trying to get away from it because he has no weapons he is not you know he's also probably seen this thing before he's probably seen sketches of it yeah it was like no way uh so yeah ving you like peel away it's yeah it's like head section leaning back with it it's still got tuck around the legs but it's like your axe arm has been freed so tuck's arm is free billy and this thing which you see like as a thief your natural inclination is like look at all the mechanical well that's what I was actually just sitting thinking I kind of want to use tricks of the trade with my hair pin to try to like take apart some of the gears oh like if I can find a gear to use it's kind of a struggle because some of the gears.

Oh, that's really cool. Like if I can find a good spot. It is definitely occupied with Maggie, Tuck, and Ving right now, so this is a perfect opportunity. Yeah. I'm going to do it. Give me a Defy Danger Dexterity first, just to make sure you can get up on it. Ten. Perfect, yeah. Okay, then give me Tricks of the Trade. Ten again. Beautiful. Are you fucking serious? This is so bullshit. Okay, so what are you trying to do? You're trying to like remove a segment of it, basically?

Exactly, so where it sort of sprang apart, I'm trying to take that part off near the front. Okay, great, yeah. It's a long thing, but it's like the back sixth, basically. You get in there and you start messing with the gears, just like jamming stuff into little sprockets that look like locks, kind of, and a section probably about three feet long, you like jam one more stick in there and it clicks and then falls away. Oh, and a gear falls off and I kick it across the room.

Yeah, you kick the gear across the room and a couple seconds after it hits the ground, the legs start, it's like laying on its back, but the legs start kicking. Disgusting. Uh, Tuck, so you're trying to hack at this thing? Yeah, I'm just gonna slice it in half. Uh-huh. This fucking sucks! Okay, so this five plus three is eight. Okay, so you still get to attack it, but it is gonna do another d12 of damage to you. Eight. Woof. So you do eight damage. Oh, great. Okay.

Uh, and actually, now that Billy has removed this back section, it's only gonna do a d ten. Okay. Six. Six. So the legs dig in deeper as you hack at it. Good god. And you split it right in the middle section like a bunch of machinery shatters and the piece that Ving and Maggie are holding back breaks off and drops to the ground. Gross. Yeah. Can I try to take apart some of the legs around Tuck? Yeah, totally. So it's defy danger dexterity to get up on that part. I got a five. Not great.

Okay, so you… Um, like, you start moving towards Tuck and Ving and Maggie where they're fighting half of this thing and the part that you just knocked off flips over onto its legs again. Ugh! And it's now more, like, dog-sized but it rushes at you. Oh, jeez. Yeah, and you see that, like, parts that you've broken, uh, start, like, ejecting. Oh my god. Like, it's removing broken parts of itself to make itself more mobile. Yeah, so do I have to take damage? Yeah, you do. So it's gonna…

So this is just a tiny section, so it's just gonna do a d6. Six. Fuck! They're really sharp. It tackles Billy to the ground and is, like, holding him down and a bunch of spinning gears on the front, like, cut into you. Ooh, my little fat cheeks! Oh no! I know! Cheeks! Can I fight with honor and roll to get some holds? So my superior technique? Uh, yeah, absolutely. Plus con. Thirteen. Yeah, so you get whatever billion points of Ving Chi. Okay, I'm gonna use my superior technique.

And I can deal damage to a foe within sight, so while I'm holding this thing off, I wanna be able to deal damage to the guy that jumped on Billy. Yeah. I can do that by the clog that you kicked over. I, like, flipped it up on my toes and, like, run it up. You know how, like, Aladdin runs that apple and then catches it? Oh, yeah. He does this, like, gets his clog to run up his body, and then ninja stars it into the thing that's on Billy. Do you mean clog? Clog is what I have been saying.

Clog is a type of… It's a shoe of my people. Yeah, okay. So Ving has… He's got his clogs on that he left in the tent. Okay. And he uses his wooden clog to get this, uh, metal beast stuff. You're talking about the gear, though, right? No, I'm talking about these shoes that I made. Okay, alright. Very well. So, yeah, you just have to roll your damage. You spend the hold and then deal your damage. Great. And my damage is a D10 because I'm using the elements because I'm using my wooden clogs.

No, no, no. Clogs of his people. Regular old damage. Nice try. It's a D6. It's a D6. It's a 2. 2. So, I mean, it's a small piece. So it's enough to, like, the clog… You kick your shoe up into your hand and then throw it at the… I hit it off my head. Doink! Yeah, you headbutted at the little, uh, Ottoman automaton that's on top of Billy and it is, like, knock-free.

Actually, in fact, this is a very small piece and you hit it and it flips over onto its side and it goes like, pang, pang, and ejects and it becomes two even smaller pieces. Oh, God! But so now, it's about… Each piece is about the size of, like, a microwave oven. Huh. But, uh, they're still mobile. Okay. Am I at all free? Uh, I think your arms are free now. Okay. But my legs are still wrapped. Your legs are still wrapped with, like, a lower section of it. Oh, right.

Because I was trying to get to it and I couldn't. Okay, Tuck yells to Billy. He's like, throw me one of those crystals! Um, the balls? Yeah. Call them by their name! I say, goodbye. I give it a kiss. Oh. I throw… It at Tuck. So Tuck just takes the axe and then tries to slice through it to see if, like, the shockwave of magical energy will, like, kill this thing. Ooh. EMP it. Interesting. It's like, yeah, it's like an EMP but made out of magic. Interesting.

Because it's like me cutting a lithium battery in half, basically. If you do that, those shits will blow up. Yeah, it's just, it's, it's, yeah, it's just interesting because there's zero precedent for this. You know what? Defy danger wisdom. Okay. Yes! You can do it! Because that is, because I, we're using, we're using this as a, like, is this gonna work kind of thing. Okay, here we go. I like this a lot. Son of a fucking bitch. What the fuck? Eight. Okay. Hey!

So, so that means it is gonna kinda work but there's gonna be a complication. It blows me to hell. No, it's not like that. Like, I'm not gonna let you guys basically create magic grenades. You know what I bet it is? Is, so you see the crystal arcing through the air and you swing at it. Yeah. And you do connect and it shatters cause it is kind of a stone. Yeah. And whatever it was about, like, your axe blade striking the stone, there is, like, a bit of an explosive effect. Sick. Wow.

You don't even see the force it creates. You just see the effect that it has on the creature. Which is? You see light of a similar kind of bluish color that we're used to with, like, magic light. Uh-huh. Burst through, like, a couple different spots on the body. And that segment, the parts that aren't damaged do fall to the ground and they are motionless. They, like, wind to a halt. I picture it like, it's almost, like, instantly rusting it. Yeah, totally.

So the segment around your legs falls away and there are parts of it that are trying to move but for the most part it looks like it's if not destroyed, it's slowing down. Cool. Yeah. I pull it off of my body. Yeah. And I go, fuck you. Yeah. And Maggie is trying to pull what's left of the top half off of Ving after he throws the clog. I'll use one of my holds and break free from the bonds. Just like, ah, get off of me. Yep. You're free. Billy? Has the safe open? Actually, yeah.

You see the door is just a little bit open. I'm gonna go to that and see if, like, there's something in there. Defy danger dexterity because the two really small segments are right next to you. Okay. Six. Eight. I, okay. I get away from the one I'm at and then I go and stomp out these guys. Mm-hmm. Yeah, ten. Yeah, so you're able to sweep one of them away on the seven to nine. Billy, you can still go, but one of them is, like, skittering after you. That's fine. I will try to avoid it.

Uh, how do you avoid it? I, um, I'm going to parkour off of the couch halves. Okay. Defy danger dexterity. Just back and forth. Yeah. Nice. Ten. Okay, yeah. You give it the runaround. Uh-huh. You're doing some flips and tricks off the shattered garbage and it's trying to follow you, but every piece of the couch it grabs onto, like, crumbles underneath it and its legs get stuck in the wood. Oh, yeah. So sick. Yeah.

It's also having trouble tracking you because it doesn't make sense how you could move this fast given how chubbs you are. Yeah, totally, yeah. It's like… Wait, what? Wait, why? Yeah, and the smaller segments are much less effective and advanced than the bigger segments, so it's just like, well, I can't… Where is he? Yeah. And you climb up on the mantle and the door to the safe is just cracked open a tiny bit. Yeah, I'm hoping there's something in there that I can use to fight this thing.

So you open the door. Well, you grab the edge. That's open and you try to, like, tug it open and it opens in a very complicated and overly stupid way. Okay. The door does open, but it's like, instead of just swinging, it, like, folds in on itself and then unfolds again and… I see what Perel means. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. And inside is… What's inside? What do we think? We have to decide? Yeah, what do we think? Oh, my God. The pressure is huge.

I mean, if it were up to me, it would be more swadged, but I know… That's too intense. If it were up to me, it would be a Pizzone, but that's too intense. We can't introduce Pizzones into this setting, guys. What is a Pizzone? It's half pizza, half calzone, or aka just a calzone. I don't know what you're thinking. Isn't a calzone already a pizza? Well, a calzone's already half a… It would just be half a pizza. Jessica, your mind is actively blown. I'm just upset. Yeah, what's inside?

What's inside this safe? Oh. What? I mean, this is, like, not useful for us at all, but you open it, and it's, like, a portrait of him and Aquaria and Perel. It's just, like, his most special thing. Oh, just sentimental shit. Just garbage. I mean, I do like that. Yeah, that's actually good. Like, what would he keep in this place? Yeah. So there's, like, an oil portrait. It's all cracked. It's all cracked, yeah.

There's a bunch of, like, sealed envelopes with letters in them that he's definitely read a lot. Cute. It's… The portrait has, like, you know, university vibes, like, first year, kind of, like, they're very young. I was gonna say, there's a sealed letter that he never sent. Yeah. Oh, nice. And then there's just, like, oh, you know, there's a ring and, like, a dried flower plant thing of some kind. I'll take that, too, for a thing. Yeah. And, uh, underneath you, you hear as this thing… No!

Okay, I'm gonna trap myself. I'm gonna trap myself in the safe. It's just instinct. Yeah. A hidey hole is literally the size of me, and I squeeze myself in. Okay, 2d6 plus wisdom. Billy's body takes on a rectangle shape to feed into there. No, I got three. Oh, no! That was bad. I'm gonna use a fairy child to turn… Oh, thank God. To turn a failed roll into a seven to nine.

Okay, so you close the door, and it's very complicated, even closing it from the inside, and as it's just about fully closed, you're like, wait, I'm gonna fucking lock myself in here. Oh, right. So you just, like, stick something in the gap. Like, you jam one of the letters in the gap just so the clasp doesn't close, but then the little segment starts pushing against the safe. Like, it's trying to get in, but it doesn't understand how to open the door. So you're safe in here.

It's on the other side, but you're not locked in. But you just hear, like, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, and you see its little creepy, like, blade legs trying sticking through the crack. I'm using one of my knives. I'm holding it shut, and I'm using one of my knives trying to stab the legs out. Stabbing me? I'll stab at you. Yeah. That's what I'm saying to it. We almost stabbed you.

So, Tuck, yeah, you've got this segment kind of shattered and not destroyed on the ground, but it looked, actually, as you're watching it, now that it's been slowed down, you do see that it's still trying to eject damaged portions, but it is, like, really slowly moving its legs. I want to use an ear for magic. Okay. When you hear an enemy cast a spell, the GM will tell you the name of the spell and its effects. Take plus one forward when acting on the answers.

Can I use that to figure out how this thing works? Based on what you saw when you hit it with the crystal blow, you can make some assumptions, yeah, that each part has some sort of magical fuel in it, but that when they are all connected, they sort of network and become more effective, but when they are separated, they are much, much less effective and stupider and slower. Okay.

So you would guess that if they are separated, they are easier to destroy, and you want to get whatever is inside their machinery. Okay. So the answer is probably brute force. Alright, well, you came to the right restaurant, is what he says to the thing, because I'm serving up brute force, steamed with a side of asparagus. Lift his fingers and put them on his eyebrows. Smooth down his eyebrows. I really thought that that tagline was going somewhere better, honestly. Alright, roll it.

2d6 plus strength. It's just laying on the ground in front of you. There's another one that's attacking Ving, right? Yeah, Ving and Maggie are struggling with a large section and Pirell has started to come back into the fight. He's got a broom and he's like bopping at one of the smaller ones. He's trying to, you can see he's actually trying to turn it over onto its back. Oh, smart. Yeah. Smart guy. But I'm going to cut this one in half, see if I can get the power source. Just roll your damage.

It's not even moving. Okay, here we go. You're rolling 2d6. I said just roll your damage. Okay, well, 2d6 plus strength is 12. Are you not, can I not be heard? Is that what's going on right now? Is my mic off? He needs successes with the dice. Now I'm going to roll my damage. Eight. Great, yeah. Yes. Yep, and you just overhand swing, but now that it is here, you can choose to potentially expose yourself to damage of some kind for extra damage. Hell yeah, I'll do that. Okay.

Just like peeling it back with your fingers. Oh, right. Yeah, I get in there. I get really close. I don't try and protect myself at all because again, there's no burning tree in here. Yeah, so you can roll another d6. Okay. Six. Okay. So you smash the one in front of you to flinders and you like get in there with you like you see a piece glowing and you reach down with your hand and rip it out and something drips onto you and you realize your hand is like burning.

So you're going to mean so you're going to roll. I think there's just a d8. Okay. Five. Yeah, as your hand is just like seared by whatever weird magical fluid is in here, but that kind of damage that you did with the d8 or the d10 and the d6 like you've got much left over that you could just walk over and lay on the segment that Maggie and Ving are holding. Oh, yeah. Actually Maggie yells out Billy's in the safe tuck like just walks up and like he's grabbing a tarantula.

He just like swipes the pieces that are on the safe and crushes them and then rips the door of the safe. I brought like four knives in my hands and that's part of the damage I take is Billy swipes out. I'm sorry. It's okay. It's okay. You're the thing. It's okay. It's okay. I figured out how to kill them. You take out this goo. Your hand. Let me take that. I put it in a mason jar. Well, Ving is still no Maggie, I guess is just grappling with that remainder piece.

Well, I wouldn't squish that other one. Remember I broke free. So you're free. So Maggie is there. She's got one on the ground. Okay. And she's like just kind of stomping on any piece of it that she can get at. Nice. I come over there. Just kill it. Just do whatever you got to do. You look like you're doing fine. She like is straining every muscle in her body. Her shirt's been like ripped on the arm and she's bleeding from her cheek. Wow.

It's just amazing seeing you in action just after all these years. Damn it. Myself and all the fans have been waiting for this moment. She snatches your spear out of your hand and jams it up into the body. I got snake eyes. She jams it into the body and a bunch of liquid spurts out of where she stabbed it and splashes onto your chest. Oh, God. Roll. What was it? A D8? D8. Yeah. Four. Okay. So you take four damages. This liquid splashes onto you and burns away your shirt and abs.

Burns away his abs? Yeah. You get a little ab burn. Oh my God. And the thing is mostly destroyed as everybody just goes around and smashes the remaining parts. It kind of turns into a fun party at that point. Yeah. And Perel is just like kicking at the one that he flipped over. Oh, bad. I was going to say how Vin Nagila starts playing. Just awful. Can't believe you actually made this thing. Fucking terrible. Smash, smash, smash. And then quiet. Wait, is the danger room still open?

It's just dark. I'm going to put the toggles back on. Ving unrolls it. Okay. Clasp, clasp, clasp. Maybe that was the only thing that was in there, though. Yeah, but this is Perel. But maybe it's still not open because that was the thing that was supposed to keep people out. So I guess you can't just be silly to just have it and then be able to walk through into the rest of the place, right? I put my hand into the darkness. It just like follows where you're putting your hand.

Like the hand disappears into the blackness, but it's like not shadow. It's just black. And then you pull it out and your hand's still there. Yeah. Guys, check this out. I have no hand. Look at. Do it again. No, no, no, no, no, no. Stop. I grab the rotten gourd. I throw the rotten gourd at it. Oh, okay. And then Tuck's like, here, check this out. And then he shimmies the back of his body. So then it only has head is sticking out. It's like you're disappeared.

Maggie is laughing and Perel just has his hands on his head. Bing goes over and he's like, okay, watch this. And he goes, oh, whoa. He looks like he's tossing Tuck's head back and forth. And then Tuck's moving his head to get get out of there, please. Why? Get out of where? Oh, get out of there. Get out of there, please. We don't know what else is in there. Bing goes in and hides his head and then makes it look like his body is on Tuck's head. Does Bing pass all the way through? No. Okay.

What do you see in there? Absolutely not. Do you hear anything? When you put your head in. His head's in it. Yeah, it's total blackness. But I can hear him and I can speak. Yeah. Okay. You can. I see absolutely. It's really cool. I see cold. Does that make sense? Billy sticks his head into it. Yep. Absolute pitch darkness. Oh, wait. No, Billy, here, stick your head in and we'll pretend my head is on your body. Okay. Yeah. Oh, God, this looks good. God, I wish you just… Bryn, take a picture.

Right. Yeah, we stick our heads out like Alvin and the Chipmunks style. No. Get get out of there. Okay. Sorry. Close it, please. Okay. Toggles, toggles, toggles. Oh. And then Tuck's like, oh, no. I dropped my library card in there. It's gone. It's gone, Tuck. Your library card is gone. That thing was awful. Oh, and Billy's patting around. Oh. Also, I found this letter in the safe. Oh. And he takes it and it's sealed. And he goes, this is Morse's seal. Why would he…

I don't think I want to crack it open right now. Why? I don't know what it's going to say. And? I don't think I want to know. Do you want me to read it? No. Well, I can't read it. I can just open it for you. Bryn holds it up as Billy tries to get to it. No, get away. I found it. Yeah, but it's… I found it. It's mine. It's mine. It's mine. I was a beneficiary of Morse's willing testament. It's mine. It might be addressed to you. Oh, it is. It says it's addressed to me. Does it? It says P and A.

P and A. Who do you think P is? Pissed. Pissed. Fuck you. Pissed. Pissed. We have other stuff. Don't we have to go… We just fought this horrible fucking thing. Yeah. Oh, God. But we're like invested in your relationship with Morse. Oh, in that case, let me fucking flay myself in front of you. There's other stuff in here. It's you and Morse in Aquaria. He's pointing into the safe. Which ring is this? It's just a ring that Morse used to wear all the time. It was like a…

Like a trades ring, kind of. Ew. Things slowly, things slowly. What's it on? I didn't mean to put it on that finger. I put it on my middle finger. Just… Yeah, whatever. Are we being mean to you, Perel? No, you're not being mean. I know that this is just how you guys are. I'm sorry. And then Billy empties his pockets of the, like, dried flowers. And he's like, I was gonna give these to Bing, but you can have them. Oh. Whoa. What are they? I don't know. Just a bunch of stuff I found in there.

Perel? Perel? Yeah, no. This is, uh… Like, he picks up one of the flowers. This is a, um… My God, what are they called? Marsh Dodger. This is a flower from the Riverways. Oh. This is where we… We had a really nice day there a long time ago. Morse was acting like an asshole. Acting like, oh, there's bugs everywhere. There's… My boots are getting fucking muddy. He was being a real prick about it, but… Was Morse from Pinewood? He was from the Firefields, yeah. Oh.

And I guess he picked a flower. Didn't tell anybody. Just dried it. Lame. Yeah. What a loser, right? Anyway, I'm sorry about the danger room. I just got really excited. No, that's… It's okay. I don't think anybody… I honestly didn't… I'd seen sketches of this thing before, but I didn't think that Morse ever actually made one. I'm kinda… It was kinda cool to see, I guess, but horrific at the same time. He called them century-pedes. He thought that it was…

He thought that it was like the future of armed security. Uh-oh. Yeah. A bug? That's stupid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was. What can a bug possibly do? Tuck says, and he's shredding. Bleeding. There's like a little puddle of blood underneath him. And a big puddle of blood coming out of him. Anyway, let's just… You know what? And he walks over to one of the pieces, and he starts kicking it, and he kicks it over to the entry to the danger room. Oh, yeah.

And kicks it into the dark, and just starts kicking all the pieces through the doorway. I've gathered up some of the goo. Just throw it in there. No, I'm keeping this goo. Oh, okay. That's what I do. Sure. Do you know what this goo is? Yeah, it's like a thalamic transference fluid. Oh. Yeah. I don't know how much good it'll be now that it's out of the thing, but… You'd be surprised how often this stuff doesn't come up again. Yeah, exactly.

Like all of Ving's many, many Schrodinger's mason jars. What did he keep? What did he not? Nobody knows. Oh, man. I need a forever jar. I mean, now you've got your… Because remember, the tent functioned as a bag of holding. Right. So now you can shove all your shit in here. Yeah. Slash Airbnb. Yeah, exactly. An Airbnb bag of holding. Airbnb and B&H. Yeah, so I mean, the room is there. You could continue to investigate this pitch black magical darkness. But also, what else are we doing?

Well, I think we should kind of clean this shit up a bit and just push all this broken shit into the danger room. Also, that's a great garbage. Oh, no. Now you guys just have a garbage room. I was going to say, that's probably what it is. Yeah. I think so. This is just a forever compactor. Yeah, we also haven't really had an opportunity… Like, because there's no bathroom in here. Oh, God. Remember, we were having to shit in that bucket. And now we can just put the shit in the danger room.

Yeah, or you can… If we just stick our ding-a-lings and bum-bums out… Yeah. We can just shit into the void. Don't shit and or piss directly into an extra-thalmic space. I go get the commode and put it right in the void. I go get the commode and put it right in the void. I go get the commode and put it right next to the space. Billy is already taking a little wee-wee. Oh, God. It's like an art. Can we all take a family piss in the woods, but into the… This is great.

Well, I mean, isn't our next step go to the north? Yeah. Yeah. Now that we've finished shitting and pissing into a magical darkness. What do you mean finished? Finished. Thank you. Uh, so yeah, uh, you guys are all suddenly surprised by the appearance of a massive bird's head sticking into the tent. I heard a commotion. So you waited for about half an hour after the commotion? Well, to be honest, someone told me about the commotion after I'd arrived.

I'd gone out for my morning scout and I'd arrived late. But everything's alright. Everyone is… Ooh, you look… Oh, Tacoma. Yes. You look damaged. I am. Interesting. Come here to me. Let me see if I can aid you. Okay. And he bends down and his big, long, pointy bird tongue pokes out and he starts licking all your wounds. What's happening? Yeah, it's very ticklish. I mean, this is what I do when I'm injured. So I think that this should help. For Ving, this feels insane. Like an inspired animal?

Watching the tongue gently lash Tuck's rippling muscles. This is doing things. Is it healing? I mean, in over a period of days or weeks, it should aid in the healing process. Magical. It's kind of just drinking my blood at this point. Your blood is delectable. Thank you. But, be that as it may, what now? Do you wish to travel northward? Yes. We all just got really well rested. We're all ready to go. Back up to full HP. Excellent. Then, when you are prepared, please join me in the outside world.

And Perel actually goes, wait, wait, wait. I remember how this works. I'm going to stay in here. Ah, okay. And Maggie's like, ah, should I stay in here? I mean, up to you. Yeah, I'm going to ride a bird. And she comes out. She just starts walking outside. And Perel settles it. He grabs a book off the shelf and cozies out. I love that. All right. Tell me when we're there, I guess. You know what? Don't bother. I'm going to make a tea. Oh, man. I miss this thing so much.

The only change is Billy's not allowed to carry the fanny pack because he's the one who lost it last time. And that is a thing that Billy has imposed on himself. Yeah, I was going to say, we are like, no, we trust you. I can't do it again. I can't let you down. Again. Yeah, we're standing on the cliffside and the fanny pack's been folded up and Billy's just holding it out. Someone much more responsible and capable than me must carry it. And Tuck pushes Vink to the ground and grabs it.

And he stuffs it in his little backpack. We're really teaching him awful habits. You're putting a fanny pack in your backpack? Yeah, I'm not going to wear this thing. I'm not a fucking nerd. Puts it in tiny leather backpack. Okay, so you're standing on the cliff and Gale and Cloudpiercer stand before you, preparing to carry you towards the north and the glacial tower of Adderneck Allwater. Hey, Gale. Hi. Good to see you again. Sorry, I had a whole fish in my throat just there. How are you?

Did you have a good day? Yeah, it's a pretty good day. Nice, nice, nice, nice. Thanks for giving us a ride. We really appreciate it. Yeah, no worries. You don't have to make it weird. Look, we slept together. You what? Yeah, we slept in the same he shared a nest with me. I look at Cloudpiercer. Yeah, they slept in the same nest. It is a very vulnerable thing for a Thunderbird to do. Oh, I see. The human languages, the double entendre might be at risk here. There was no sexual contact.

You don't have to scream that. There was no sexual contact. And that echoes off the cliff. Contact, contact. Sexual, sexual. That wasn't even the last word he used. First word and then a bunch of words he did not say. It was like, Tuck did not have sexual congress with a bird. In Sheer City, everybody looks towards the mountains as the word sexual, sexual. And then like half an hour later, it reaches Old Sheer. Sexual, sexual. It cuts to Oleander at the mill as his ship is being.

Stands up and looks to the skies. I was going to say Storm and Norman Fox's head. Sexual. But also, you have to understand Thunderbird. Like, you have to be able to speak to animals. So it sounds like a bird cry, but any druid was like, the fuck was that? Savarna hears that on Hibernia. She's like, that's, I know who that is. That's about to. There's no way it's not. All right, everyone. We can agree. Now that it was not sexual. Sexual, sexual. Sexual. You gotta stop saying that word, dude.

Now, mount up and we will begin. Mount. Mount. Mount. Mount. Sexual. Mount. And we will begin our journey northward. I got on Gale's back. Settle in there, big boy. God, what are you doing? What do you mean? Just get on. I'm on. Get in there. What? Stop. You gotta stop doing that. Stop doing what? I'm a bird. I have no frame of reference for what's making you uncomfortable. I look back and I'm like, does anyone want to ride with me? Sure. I grab onto Gale's foot. Hop aboard, little boy.

Thank you. All right. Now, and she looks to Cloudpiercer who nods. Yes, we begin. And he spreads his wings and takes to the skies. Sick. Is Maggie on Cloudpiercer? Yeah, Maggie's on Cloudpiercer with Ving and then Billy and Tucker on Gale. And they take to the skies. Oof. High up. Gale is a little bit faster than Cloudpiercer, so she is pulling ahead, but you get at a comfortable clip. Billy's eyes are watering so much. Tuck's wearing glasses so that he his eyes don't water. Nice.

Billy sees Tuck wearing glasses. He's like, oh, yeah. So he puts his little binoculars on. And it works. Yeah, of course it does. His bill of flight Googles. And yeah, you're carrying on through the skies. You're above the cloud cover, so there is just like brilliant blue above you. The sun shines in the sky. You know, the clouds continue on for miles around.

Cloudpiercer says, we can fly above the cloud cover for a short period of time, but throne breakers flock may be anywhere in these skies, so we'll have to descend below the line to stay out of their sight. Okay, sounds good. But we must avoid the eyes of the human folk. Not that we are a secret, but also, you know, we kind of, freak them out. Perilous wild.

All right, so we're gonna, you know, you fly for a couple hours, the wind whipping at you, but the brilliant sun in the sky warming your skin against the ice cold air of the upper atmosphere. It gets to the point where Cloudpiercer and Gale are kind of like soaring back and forth. Like, they get very comfortable and they're just like, like dipping their wings into the clouds and pulling up streamers of condensation behind them. Cool.

They just seem to be enjoying themselves and enjoying the presence. And Ving, you feel a feeling of contentment wash over you from Cloudpiercer. It seems like he's remembering better days when you guys were together. Also, Ving is brought to a wonderful memory of him and Shia. Oh, yeah. And Tuck is thinking about how many people here might think he bucked this bird. Hey, I just want to make it super clear that we definitely did not have any sort of mating. Contact.

You gotta stop talking about this, Gale. Why? Do you not want me to clarify the situation? You're clarifying it so much that everyone's thinking about it. Oh, God, you humans. Yeah, don't worry about it, alright? It's just, it's all cool. Okay. Alright. Watch me check him out. I'm gonna put the afterburners on and she flaps really hard and jets forward for a moment. And then Tuck goes, wow! Yeah. And Cloudpiercer's just like, fucking show off. And then he flaps really hard.

Billy's sitting up there thinking about taxes. He's like, I wonder how many taxes Pearl got from me. Probably a lot of taxes. How long was Billy paying taxes for? Quite a while. You know, definitely since McCall, at least. We lived in McCall for a long time. I wonder what I could have done with all those taxes instead. And then he's like starting to get mad. He's like, you know, there I was at all. Day breakfast. And all these taxes I paid could have paid for all my all day breakfast. Pearl.

The only breakfast. That was a real slow burn on you getting mad about this. That's great. Pearl. And at this point, Cloudpiercer and Gale nod to each other and they begin their descent through the clouds. And your vision is blurred for a moment as you enter the gray cover and you are freezing. Jeez. It's so cold in these clouds. Oh gosh. And you come down and you see glittering off to your left the shore of the Sea of Graves in the distance and the mountains on the right and tundra all around.

Boreal forests, though small copses because you get this far north and even trees have trouble growing. There's a lot of dead plant life and you see like a herd of massive shaggy animals. Whoa. Pondering across the plains below you. Oh, are they rhinoceros? They are rhinoceros. Glittering horns of transparent ice on their heads just traveling in a herd across the tundra. Yeah, cool. They say their horns have magical powers. Who said it?

The people that heard about it, you know, the druids and stuff. They talk about it. Oh, okay. Should we go get them? No, no, no. Leave them be. And then you guys look over to Tuck and he's like magical powers. And he does like a hard dick gesture with his arm. Maggie puts her hand up to her ear. What? And then screams. It gets you hard. And all across the north echoing sexual, sexual, sexual ricocheting back off the mountains. How does the echoes work? This doesn't make sense.

And at this point we are going to undertake a perilous journey. So we need someone to navigate. And someone to scout ahead. Can I scout ahead? Yeah. Okay, cool. Absolutely. So it's 2d6 plus wisdom. Okay. Sweet 11. Fuck yeah. And then we need somebody to navigate. I'll navigate. Alright, 2d6 plus intelligence. 8. Perfect. So on a scout ahead on a 10 plus you choose 2 from the list below. 1. You get the drop on whatever lies ahead.

You discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain such as a shortcut shelter or tactical advantage. You make a capital D discover. Or note a sign of a capital D danger. Yeah, the first two. So I want the drop on what lies ahead and the short tactical advantage of some kind. Then Ving on a 7 to 9. The GM chooses one from the list below. You happen upon a capital D discovery missed by the scout. The going is slow or you wander off course or you encounter a danger.

Whether or not you're surprised depends on whether the scout has the drop on it. Which he does. Billy spots it long before. Anybody else does with the help of his bill noculars and as you're coming up, Billy, you see the shape resolving of two ships traveling towards the jaws. Humans humans. He's always laughing at kills. What is it? Gail? There's human boats up here and they tuck back up into the clouds a little bit to kind of stay out of sight. Just into the tip of the gray. Yeah, exactly.

And as you get closer, Maggie kind of you Ving, you feel her grip onto your shoulder and she leans forward and you hear her say in her ear. No fucking way. Who is it? Who's the boat? It's a clear water. One of them is the clear water. Oh shit. Fuck. Who stole that again? The pirates. I don't know, but I know that that one's the fucking clear water. I discern realities. Yeah, you can discern realities to the six plus wisdom six single aid. Yes. I'll aid. Yay.

I'll aid by helping you by like grabbing you and popping you out beneath the cloud beautiful to be six plus bond 11. Oh yeah. So you get a seven. So you get one question. Who's really in control here? So Billy, you see a ship kind of sailing off in the side and a little bit in front of the clear water and the boat itself is very pretty. There is a lot of like ornamentation like gold inlay and like fancy. Very pretty. Pretty fancy figurehead on the front. Fancy figure.

And everybody on the ship is wearing like very bright colors. They're wearing costumes. And there is a lot of ornate like there's a lot of fabrics and different kinds of decoration on the deck of the ship itself. It's like a party boat. Is the other one Victoria LaBlanche's boat? Is this a grad boat? Is there any like logos? Because we remember we said Victoria LaBlanche's like logo is like the Louis Vuitton. Victoria LaBlanche's merchandise has a V and an L.

It would be awesome though if her flag was like that. There's a flag flying from the top of the mast. There's the pirate flag. That looks exactly like a shirt that you saw a guy wearing in the fort. And then the other flag has the pointy letter and then another pointy letter but the one that is like this. And then Billy shoots his hand up. Billy's little finger and thumb come up through the clouds. A backwards L. Yeah. Or a seven. Yeah. It's seven but upside down. Victoria LaBlanche.

It's Victoria LaBlanche. The sexiest of all the pirates I've never betted. Oh my god. What does this mean? Who is this Victoria LaBlanche? Gail is jealous. No this is Cloud Pearson. I know. I don't care who Victoria LaBlanche is personally. I don't give a fucking shit. I don't care about her stupid boat. I can fly. Gail it sounds like you care a lot. I don't. I don't care. Oh! So what? Should we fucking destroy their ships? No. Victoria LaBlanche what's her deal?

She's like She's like one of the top pirates. Is she like a pirate that sold out? No she didn't. No it's the opposite. The captain's council in Fort Four Frost wanted her to join and she refused. She loves like doing her own thing. Yeah. She's very flashy. But she is mostly known for being a very feared pirate. Cool. A very flashy ostentatious person. Sick. Are we gonna like try to get the clear water back? Like. I fucking hope so. That's my goddamn boat.

Wait isn't this kind of a waste of time though? Cause like we're on our way to the thing that we're doing. We're gonna be in there in like an hour. Yeah. Maggie think about it. Okay. Think about this. Wicker is on that boat. Oh my god. We got. Billy jumps. Yeah we got him. Yeah Billy jumps and uh Billy jumps. Billy jumps? Yeah. Okay Billy begins plummeting through the skies. God. Tuck jumps. Oh no. Bing jumps backwards. Gale looks at Cloud Piercer and Cloud Piercer nods. Yeah.

And Gale dives right through the clouds and she is rocketing past you like a peregrine falcon. Wicker! And she spreads her wings. And catches both of you. No! What the fuck are you doing? Let me. Let me at her. We're gonna go get. We're gonna go do it but you don't have to kill yourself first. Oh. Let's make a plan. Billy you can't just jump off of a Thunderbird. I'm sorry. As he passes. Yeah Billy. Cloud Piercer rockets past you to go and catch Bing. Are we. Are we. Are we just going?

Is that what we're doing? Are we attacking these boats? Uh. We can be smarter than this a little bit. I mean. Now that you've both dived below Cloud Cover on two massive birds they've probably seen you. Cut to the deck of the ship. Yeah. Ah. Captain. There's a gigantic fucking bird. And we see the back of a head. Long blonde ringlets turn and look up. A big floppy hat with a huge feather on it. And then we cut back to the birds. Whoa. Teaser. Yeah. Stop the press. Who was that? Yeah.

What are you guys doing? What's the plan? What if we just try to like look super cool and then just ask for the boat back? Yeah. Cause like Victoria LeBlanc is like into like showmanship. True. And Cloud Piercer can perform. Yeah. So yeah. What if we like do a cool fucking thing. Put on a little show stop. And then just tell her hey give us back our fucking boat. Take it away from whoever fucking loser has it. Cause he's probably a little fucking what? Dingling. Dingling.

Took us all the way to get to dingling huh? Yeah this is a plan. So let's just. Is this a dumb plan? Cause this is literally just the first thing I thought of. I think it's the greatest plan. No dumb plans are our best plans. I mean I think trying to get her attention first is a good. That's a good move. Don't have to think too much beyond that right now. Yeah. We just want to fucking look cool as shit. I could light myself on fire. Oh yeah that's cool. That's pretty sick. Cool.

You know what I'll come back as like a phoenix cause I'll elementally build myself up in the fire and fly through the sky a little bit. I love that yeah. Okay. And I have this and he pulls out a music bottle and he uncorks it and it's sabotage. Oh. Terrible. We can't escape this song. Why would you want to? It's a great point. Okay then someone's gonna have to roll something and describe to me what you're doing. Yeah. Well they're all down there on the ship.

Why don't I try and I have stormed a quiet and set the stage. Oh. So they're like ship and there's creaking and there's waves and they're like and they're like but if we like. Build basically like a sound studio around them and quiet like surround them in grey mist. Yeah. Make it quiet and set the parameters of our stage. I like that and we can actually use the thunderbirds to pull a storm-ish kind of thing in to like make them feel like isolated like it's like an immersive experience.

We could do like a real three amigos style thing where we're like fighting off the thunderbirds cause they've already seen the thunderbirds. What if we come in as the heroes and like get out of here damn thunderbirds. That's a good idea. That's a pretty good idea. Yeah. So how are you doing it? I'm just to start I'll set the stage. So I think that's 2d6 plus what? Con. Con. 8. So on a 7 to 9 with Eye of the Storm. It affects only what I touch as long as you are touching it. Yeah.

So what would that, how would that limit you? I'd have to land on a boat. Oh yeah. Okay. I don't want to land on a on fire and sink their boat. No but you could like fly in as a phoenix and then land and rise from the ashes. And then rise from the ashes and then do the Paul Bettany from A Knight's Tale thing. Right. Where you are on the boat and then all of a sudden like the wind dies down and you go. My lords. Yeah. My ladies. Are you not entertained? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Great.

What else are we going to do? I think Billy, Tuck and Maggie are going to pretend to fight the thunderbirds. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Or we'll ride one of the thunderbirds and pretend to fight the other one. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you're explaining this to Gail and Cloudpiercer. Yeah. We'll ride on Gail. That's easier. And then Cloudpiercer's like super stoked to act. Yeah. Like a bad one. You act like one of the bad thunderbirds. Me? Yeah. The villain. Alright. I love it.

And then get like lightning. Pull the storm around their ships. So they feel scared and get lightning to strike nearby. And Gail you're going to buff your wings like this and make a big wind gust. And then you guys like fight with lightning. You'll be on your backs doing stuff. Can you guys do that thing where you lock your talons and you spin in the air? We can try. We can try. As long as no one will get hurt. Well I can't promise that thing. I am a powerful creature. Gail laughs.

And Gail's like and I'm horny as fuck. I'm a bird. I can't be horny. It's not possible. Thirsty yes, horny no. All I want is crackers. And you know what? I'm going to be totally honest. This is the most thought we've ever put into anything in the entire podcast. It's kind of baffling. Like I don't know what to do because you're all thinking about it so much. We'll take it from here. Should I? Oh. Yep. Should I use like willow the wisps to add lights and effects? Yes. 100%.

Because you can create convincing illusions. We're mysterio-ing. Oh so you don't even have to create the storm. Billy can just make an illusory storm around you. No but to make it feel real. To add real danger so the bike bolts might sink. No but like okay because I can use willow the wisps. To create magical like minor magical light effects and then I can also create a convincing illusion with fairy child to make it like I don't know more dramatic more intense. Yeah.

So maybe we'll make the lightning with the convincing illusions and then we'll use the willow the wisps to make like. I'll pretend like light weapons. Right. And we can also use it to create mood lighting on the ships. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. I like it. Okay. So Vanguid first roll elemental form. Tuck's like and I can use this bottle of music I have. Right. Yeah. I thought Tuck was pretending to fight. Yeah I am. Yeah. But also I have war cry.

So when I enter a battle with a show of force a shout a rallying cry or a battle dance roll plus charisma on a 10 plus take plus one forward against. That's great. And our enemies feel fear and act accordingly which is what we want. Which is Victoria the Blanche. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. These are a lot of great ideas and you guys are refusing to roll dice when I tell you. Like we said we're planning this for the first time. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Vanguid. Wait now hold on. Okay.

So Vanguid has to shape shift because he needs to land on the deck to start the whole charade. We just made it too complicated I'm realizing because there's no shit. There's a series of dependencies now that all the roles are working. You guys specifically were like these are the moves that we have to use. Yes. And all of the failures that are about to happen. So Vanguid is going to take an elemental form of a phoenix. Yeah. Great. Perfect. I've got 12. Great start. So that's three hold.

You sheath yourself mostly in moonlight as was established. It's so fierce. It's like white hot welding light. It's like tig welding white. Yeah. Exactly. So you're a brilliant white bird. A falling star. As if a star falls towards us. See the pirate's voice. Yeah. A star falls towards us. And with the dampening. The dampening and the quiet. Yeah. And the clouds moving in. The white light. Boom. On the thing. The superhero landing. Skids along the deck. Comes to a stop.

Moonlight flaking off of him. Burst into wild flames. First. Like blue hot. And a bunch of swords are out and pointed at you. Boom. Down to the ground. An ashen lump of a man falling. Flames darted. Flames out. Uh-huh. Rise slowly. Clustered with like little clumps of ash naked from this pile. Nice. Now stand fast whoever you are. You have came upon the deck of Victoria La Blanche. Hello? Oh, dude. Where am I? You are upon the white net.

The vessel of the most feared pirate in all of the Sea of Graves. Victoria La Blanche. And she steps forward. She's got, uh, what is she wearing? She's got long curly blonde hair. A big… Lace up heels. Or heel boots. Oh, yeah. Lace up heels. To her thighs. Yeah, all the way up. And underneath that is just like leather breeches. So it's leather from toe to waist. And she's wearing a silk sarong over that so it flows in the wind. Yep, totally. Then what's her shirt situation?

I'm imagining a billowy white shirt like a pirate. Oh, but it's like silk and it's like really low cut. Yeah. Super hot. Yeah. With the crisscrosses, laces. Yeah. Off her shoulders, yep. A cape of some kind perhaps or no cape? Maybe a shoulder cape? Yeah, the straps are attached to a shoulder cape. Cool. They're also silk and they fly in the wind. Oh, I like it a lot. And then, uh, long blonde hair in curls. A maroon hat that like flops down on one side and up on the other side.

Giant ostrich feather. What's like face situation? What's like makeup? Does she have an eye patch? Beauty mark. Oh, she's got like stars painted all down her face. Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then at her hip she has like a jeweled rapier. I knew Abdul was waiting for something. You beat me. You're on the wet net. The vessel of the most feared privateer in all of the Sea of Graves. Victoria La Blanche. What realm have I landed in? This realm?

I do not know its name, but I know that it is my home and it will be sword out. Your grave, if you do not speak fast, visitor. I come with a great warning and a kind of like a watch this vibe. I'm not gonna lie, the things that Ving are saying leads me, Sean O'Hara, to believe he may have already forgot the plan. Do you remember the plan? Yeah, that they're gonna, where I'm here to to be like, you are in great danger. You know not how close to death you are. Hold fast in these waters.

Let the seas calm around you. I have still the winds upon your sails for heroes approach. For heroes approach. He looks up, he hears Tuck. For heroes approach. Heroes approach. Thunder. And then a crack of lightning. And Billy's up there like doing his thing. I just imagine him like He's like pew pew and then he winds up his hand and he throws out one of his will-o'-the-wisp balls. Nice. Yeah. It hits a cloud piercer. It makes a shadow in the clouds. Of a giant beak. This huge like Oh!

From the ships. Everybody on the deck ducks and goes Except for LeBlanc. She doesn't move an inch. Ving snuffs out all their flights, all their braziers and candles. Swords clatter to the wood. And then we feel like an eerie glow from like some of the mood lighting that Billy's getting. Tuck on the top, in the clouds, on the bird is getting scared. Billy sends down a fake lightning down to the- just near the boat to spook him. Oh yeah. Yeah. So loud. And cloud piercer dives out of the clouds.

And everybody that can understand cloud piercer hears him go, HARK! For now comes your doom! And Ving's like, HARK! For now comes your doom! HARK HARK! And he gets really low to the water and the water's like shooting up around him from the force of his air. Yes! From his wind. Yeah. And he passes right by the boats and they all tip on their sides almost. The force of his passing.

And he swoops around and everybody dives out of the way and comes wheeling around just on the inside edge of the storm bubble that you've created. Going, I am death on the wind. I am destruction incarnate. And then Gale comes out of the other side and goes, Nuh-uh. Wait, no, I got to do a voice. Nuh-uh. And Tuck and Billy are on the back of Gale. Yeah. And Billy, Tuck is doing a crazy war cry with this song in the background. With a huge ball of light surrounding his axe. Yep.

And throwing lightning all over the place. It looks like it's charging a crazy amount of electrical energy. And I'm about to do my fucking war cry. That's 13. Okay, yeah. And I go, as the song goes, I go, And I shoot this fake lightning at Cloudpiercer. Which. Hits him straight on and he flips in the air and starts falling through the sky. He plucks feathers out of his chest. Yeah, with his own talons. Yeah. Pulling his feathers out as they flow through.

And he goes, I have been struck by death blow. I must retreat from the force of these mighty heroes. And he flips onto his side and recedes, dives back into the clouds. And I touch my hand on my chest, have my eyes closed, and I'm like, he is slain. And then Bing starts clapping. I'm very encouraged to clapping. I don't realize I'm still making. And Gale comes down and flaps above all the ships and lands on the front of Victoria's ship and it like tips in the water. Sick. Yeah.

Stay back, everyone. Look out, everybody. I'm dangerous. Don't get too close. She just tips forward and we tumble off. Yeah. Flips you up. And Maggie lands on the deck with you. Yeah. Maggie is… Stonily quiet. Oh, right. Because it's her ship. And Victoria LeBlanc stands before you. Your grace, it is I, one of your saviors. Billy's really nervous, so he's doing his extra mayor voice. Yeah, totally. Ah, an incredible display that was of heroics and martial prowess. Bows. Then… So hot.

I wish she didn't bow down like that. Excuse me, madam, for our hero here. He needs respite. What is your name, little bear? My name is Fat… Fat William. I am Victoria LeBlanc. She holds out her hand with, like… It's glittering with rings. Billy, uh… Takes one? Yeah, takes one. Are these for everybody? Thank you. She smiles. And you? She holds her hand out to Ving. I am the Spirit Walker, the fallen star on ships afar. Ah, Spirit Walker. I've heard your name.

On the lips of many around the world. And you? Large water… Warrior? Hi. She holds out her hand. Will you marry me? She smiles. She's the ringer from W.A.S.T. Yeah, the ring that Billy stole. Yeah, he takes it from me. And he slips it back on. She smiles and takes her hand out of your hand and kind of runs her hand down your cheek and says, Y'all, this is not the first pre-peso. I have received. And not the last. I will refuse. Okay. Victoria LeBlanc, a pleasure to meet you. Brutal. Okay.

And she moves to Maggie and says, Who is next for me to meet? And Maggie is standing there stonily silent. And you all kind of know what's about to happen before it happens. Her hand clenches. Her arm is like shaking. She wheels back and punches Victoria right in the chin. Oh, shit. She takes it. And there's silence.

And Victoria, one hand resting on the pommel of her sword, dabs away a little bit of blood at the corner of her mouth with her thumb and says, Maggie, girl, it has been quite some time. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. Whoa. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome to a barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. I'm playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone.

Thank you to Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music. You can find all of Aaron Reid's personal music at aaronreid.bandcamp.com and all of the Spout Lore music produced on the show by Aaron at soundcloud.com. Thank you to all of our amazing Patreon supporters around the world. You can support the show at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money please to get access to a whole bonus campaign, bonus content, audio stuff, world building, writing, merch.

We actually just started a new merch partnership for our $25 and up patrons with Fantasy by Numbers. So every quarter you get incredible custom-made merchandise from the fine, fine folks at Fantasy by Numbers. And we also just opened a section in their shop that is just Spout Lore designs. Yes. Designed by Jessica. Yep. And we're working on a, uh, wooden pins, uh, bookmarks, bookmarks, advent calendars, advent calendars right now for Christmas. It's amazing. Yeah.

Uh, so yeah, check that out at fantasy by numbers.com or Spout Lore.com slash merch. And, uh, thank you to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of pain and pain. For times of pain and pain. For times of pain and pain. There's a quest At least, about a Thank you.

Hi everyone, it's Fat Billy here. Thanks for coming, listen to our podcast. If you want more podcasts, you can go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore, where you can give us some money. And I like money, so I can buy snacks. Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing.

Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in bread. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara.

Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long every- what? Nope. So long. Hello everybody. Hello. Hello. Playing Ving, the half-elf, Druid Paul Oppers. Take care guys. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. And to all a good night. When last we left our heroes, they encountered the danger, or at least one of the dangers, lying within the Fanny Pack's eponymous danger room. Revealing itself to be a creature called, apparently a sentry-peed.

Yeah, it was so gross. That is a little compact mechanical thing that expands into a huge, centipede-like automaton that splits off into multiple parts when damaged. The fight went on for a good while, and the gang was really getting the goods. Yeah. They overcame the sentry-peed, Perel receiving a sealed note from Morris Wadge, which was found within the safe.

Also containing some dried flowers from apparently places that the three had visited in their younger days, and an oil painting, a portrait of happier times. Yeah, it was really cute. That this was the thing that he felt like he needed to protect the most. Yeah. Morris, soft at heart. Yeah. Can't wait to hear what's in that letter. Yeah. Can't wait to bully Perel into telling us what's in that letter. Perel for sure read it as soon as he was alone. Yeah, totally.

Oh yeah, Perel's just in the Fanny Pack. Yeah. Yeah. He's just safe, nestled in Tuck's backpack. Yeah. You boarded the Thunderbirds, Cloudpiercer, and Gale. Gale assuring Tuck that it was not going to be weird that they slept together, by which she meant, I'm not going to be weird. I'm going to be safe. I'm going to be safe. I'm going to be safe. I'm going to be safe.

Gale assuring Tuck that it was not going to be weird that they slept together, by which she meant slept in the same nest for one night. Yeah. It became a whole thing after that. Traveling with them upon their backs to the frozen north, the far, far reaches of the frozen north in Adderneck All Waters Glacier. During their journey passing below the cloud cover, Billy first spotted ships in the distance, which Maggie quickly recognized one at least.

It was the Clearwater itself, stolen from her by the Magi in Fort Forefrost, and it would seem given to, sold to, captured by another pirate by the name of Victoria LeBlanc. Ooh. Infamous. Infamous privateer. So crazy hot, it's insane. I want you to remember that I, Sean O'Hara, your friend, am Victoria LeBlanc. So keep it together. Just got hotter. I could have made her less hot, but I didn't. How could you not take that opportunity? Everybody wants a sexy sword fighting pirate on a show.

That's you know, I mean, Jessica did set the stage with all the way up the leg lace up a heeled leather boots. Yeah. Very low cut white lace top. Yeah, totally. Like to the belly button low cut. Like it's cut down to where the boots end. Like here. Oh wow. Like under the breast. There's very little, the whole middle section, no clothes at all.

The party decided that the best way to approach LeBlanc and her fleet was to stage an amateur theater production in which Cloud Piercer and Gale locked themselves in faux battle. Billy on special effects. Yeah. Tuck playing a bit part as guy with ax. Hero. Hero with ax. Hero approaching. And just didn't say hero in the script. Yeah. And Ving descending from the heavens in a ball of moonlight in the shape of a bird landed upon the deck and narrated the proceedings.

The fight and production went off without a hitch. Everybody was terrified. Yeah. Sabotage was played more than once. Yeah. As is our want. And as is our right. As Americans. As Canadians. As Canadians. As Canadians. To plagiarize the Beastie Boys. And not get charged for it. Try it Beastie Boys. Yeah. Try it Beastie Boys. The web crawlers that look for copyright infringement cannot find us because we are on a podcast host that Wes wrote in 2016 in PHP before he really understood how to code.

We are invincible. The crew arrived on the deck and introduced themselves to Victoria LeBlanc. Before Maggie, who was a big fan of the show, was eliminated. Before Maggie, who had been stonily quiet the entire production, wheeled back and slugged her one right in the chin. To which Victoria LeBlanc said, Maggie could. It has been quite some time. She didn't recognize her face, but she recognized her fist. Exactly. And Maggie, through gritted teeth, just says, where's my fucking cat?

I'm not sure that I know what you mean. Wake her. That's my boat. My cat's on that boat. You tell me where my cat is. And she looks around like, if I had a cat upon my bed, do you think that this cat would be hidden away? I love cats so much. And the guy with the spyglass that we saw earlier kind of hobbles forward. He's limping pretty bad. He's kind of like a heavyset guy with short, graying, dark hair and a close beard. Captain, do you think that it's possible she might mean the ghost? What?

What? Now, do not be silly, Derek. There are no such things as ghosts. I don't know, Captain. There's been some strange goings on on the Clearwater. Food disappearing. Men waking up with bloody scratches all over their bodies. Shadows flitting out of the corner of your eyes. You shut your mouth, you superstitious fear. And then another guy's like, I've seen it. I've seen it. I was working in the kitchen and then a bottle just fell off of the camera for no reason. Ah, I've seen it too.

One time I go to put on me boot and there'll be a hot shit right inside it. And I woke up when I couldn't breathe. A mouthful of fur. You're all superstitious fears. The butt is not haunted and there is no ghost. Then explain this. Somebody drops a bucket of dead mice on the table. Ving's like, looks like these mice died. They died of a heart attack. They died of being too afraid. They're all half like twisted the ring faces. They're all just locked in rigor mortis. In terrified fear.

And Maggie crosses her arms and smiles. That's my cat. What do you guys do? What's your plan here? You're just watching these two women have a conversation. I keep watching. Billy starts like sidestepping away. Like try like get of. I don't know. I don't need you to go look for wicker. Yeah. Uh, 2d6 plus dexterity to sneak away. Five. Okay. So you, uh, you start. Experience. Yeah. It takes some experience and you start creeping away through the crowd.

You're walking through a sea of legs as Billy so often does. I'm singing quietly. I can't stand it. I can't stand it. There's something to it when it can't stand. I can't stand it. And as you think you're like, haha, I've done it. I've gotten away here. Hey, no, come here. A thistle grab. Got you. You little bastard. Let me go. Holds you up and you're looking into the face of Bruno. Bruno. Yeah. What's up? You little sneaky snake. I gotcha. Bruno. Put him down. Or what? Tech picks up a crate.

And throws it at Brut. 26 plus dexterity. I guess dexterity. Yeah. Uh, seven. Uh, it does it. I mean, Billy gets thrown to the ground for sure. But you smash Bruno full on with this crate. It explodes. He hits the ground immediately. He goes, oh. And I grab another stool and I put it on top of him and I sit. And he spits out a bunch of teeth. Just, those aren't my teeth. I just had those in my mouth. Why did you have teeth in your mouth? It's none of your business.

And he reaches his arms out and tries to grab you. I'm gonna get, I'm gonna, this is it. This is finally happening. You're not getting up, dude. It's finally happening. You fuck. Get over here. Bruno, I thought we were friends. We were never friends. I was forced to serve you to save my own skin. The seas are a dangerous place. But that's why friendship matters so much. Everyone on the deck is just like, oh my God. He's right, Bruno. He's right, Bruno. You can't just fucking betray your friends.

There's salos like us, there's salos. Remember when I gave you that extra serving of spaghetti because I didn't want it? I was lying. I did want it. But I loved you, Bruno. And remember when we covered for you? When you were about to commit a mutiny and we… No, I would never commit a mutiny. That's a lie, Bruno. You were definitely… We're friends. We're friends. We're best friends. You were planning a mutiny, dude. I was just playing around, guys. We're friends. You were a younger man then.

I was. And I definitely did not take part in a mutiny. And we all remember that for sure. Yeah, because we covered for you, dude. No, no. You guys better shut the fuck up about that mutiny or I'm going to get killed. You first, you little hip squeak. Can we let you up now? Yeah, good to see you again, my friends. That's what I thought. Captain. It's all good in the hood, baby. Oh, dude. You talked to me. Doug goes, oh. Oh, dude, no. You can't just make up phrases like that, bro.

She can't call her baby, dude. She rolls her eyes really hard. Now that that has been settled, whatever, she kind of wiggles her hand in your direction. This might be. What are you doing up in my vessel in these cold, frigid northern waters? My queen. Which she smirks at. I do not have a crown, but I find many a throne to sit upon. Whoa. This is just Jessica. Sick. And then Tug in his mind is like, can I make a pun that makes my dick a threat?

If only throne rhymed something that could be alluded to. Whatever. I guess nothing. Yeah. Anyway, I go, my queen, we are on a quest. We are heroes sent from across the seas on a sacred mission to save. Not just one land, not just one people, but all peoples in all lands. Oh, interesting. I am on my own quest. They're not as important. I do find myself being a peoples and living in a lands. So I perhaps might support this quest.

And Tug clenches everything to try and make himself look more impressive. Yeah. And he's like, we are heading past the jaws to the tower of a wizard. Hmm. To find. Our destiny. And the salvation of all mankind. Ah, destiny has many a child in these parts. Did you just wink at me? Did you just make a destiny's child joke? So what is it that you wish from me? A chance to reunite our party. One of the most powerful members that we believe resides on Maggie's boat. And Tug tries.

Not to reference his dick when Vink says powerful members. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And by the way, none of us are. We're all trying really hard not to point at what he just said. Well, I'm sure you can understand that the reuniting of old friends aside. And she looks at Maggie who goes, I cannot simply give you this fan vessel that I have, sir. Legitimately came by. Do we want the vessel? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Boat I paid a lot of money that boat was in the fucking mud a year ago jesus yeah this is I lived on that boat for months yeah victoria where did you pay for this boat where did you get it who gave it to you this is not that not that liberty to share such that does with you did you buy it from the medja that stole it from us perhaps okay so yeah maggie wants her boat back okay what can we do what are we gonna do can I wealth and taste perhaps or like can we parlay with uh with victoria I have been boozle which means when I parlay with someone I hate you take plus one forward against them and I also have plus one forward against her right now and I have like a plus three charisma so I could try and parlay with her yeah what so what are you planning to offer some other boat a replacement marriage a lifetime of bliss and happiness yeah that's actually tuck offers that he's like what is a life on the sea without someone to share it with he says as he stares out at the ocean uh-huh uh tucks got his hand on one of the looking out into the distance I have shared my life on the sea with uh many people and I will share it with many more okay I mean there is one thing that I do know I is very valuable up here on the season everywhere else and that is a cold a hard a cage cash pay me buy the boat of me how much let me look at the book to see how much a boat is worth bring me the bird book bring me the bird pick we did establish last time that a merchant ship is worth 5 000 gold coin which is actually what ving's ransom is well that's interesting isn't it isn't that a fascinating proposal neat isn't it oh because we do want to give ving back to his dad at some point yeah isn't that interesting we do want to do it let's claim the reward let's make this happen yeah so tell her that and it's like what what an interesting thing that has just come into my brain and formulated into a series of words that I'm now telling to you okay so here's the deal my friend ving you might also know him as prince of the boreal reach son of dathaniel the ranger king lobo there's currently a bounty out for him for 5 000 gold coin approximately the price of one and I point at the clear water merchant vessel merchant vessel doing the vanna white standing on the side on the railing of the ship and pulls back the mass aside the mass to reveal pulls a sail back yes here's what I'm proposing we'll let you turn us in to dathaniel to claim that reward you give maggie her ship back and we'll call it even you get yourself a new bow with 5 000 shiny new gold coins yeah and as an added bonus if you want what I and honestly I don't even care stop crying no buddy are you crying no I'm not I'm just sweating so it's so hot are you getting on one knee it's no I'm not I'm just sweating so it's so hot are you getting on one knee it's no I'm not One of his legs is just bending It's just so hot up here I had to get closer down to the ground Where it's colder My right thigh is tired Involuntarily fishing around in his backpack For a ring He's trying not to propose But if you If you did want to And this is so fucking stupid I don't even want to do it But it would be so fucking funny Right?

If we just like got married Monogamously larried Would it be so fucking hilarious If we got I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry To each other So yeah whatever But that's the Proposal Okay roll the 2d6 plus charisma Okay A lord of flame please Okay Okay Okay Let Victoria Blanche marry me, please, God. Five plus three plus one. Yeah. Eight. So that's nine. Uh-huh. So someone aids me and I become a ten. Yes, I will aid. I show her the poster with $5,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Perfect.

Well, you aid all of them. I… Hold on, hold on. Cloud Pierce has shown me this thing. I can do this. 286 plus bond. Nice. Ten. Okay. Sick. Ten. I cough up a perfectly rolled up poster. It's the laminated one. Oh, yeah. She puts her gloved hand to her chin, satin gloves. She smirks. She looks around at the boat. She looks at Ving. She looks at Tuck and Billy, who she smiles at. She gives Billy a little wink. And Billy looks around like, me? I accept. And then Tuck gets up. He's on one knee.

He gets up and goes, she said yes! Yes! Yes! She said yes! She puts a hand to her chest and laughs gaily. It's gonna be a wedding! I can see what's happening. But we don't have a clue. They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line. Our trio's down to two. The sweet caress of twilight. She joins in. There's a Jamaican guy up in the crow's nest that's like, kiss, there you go. So, yeah, she says she accepts. She accepts. And I also get a plus one forward against her? Yep. Okay. Yeah. Cool.

You always get so excited about bamboozle, but I think every time you see the word bamboozle, you forget what the move is. It sucks. It gives you a plus one forward when you parlay with somebody. It's a useful move. It's just not as like, narrative changing. Yeah. Taking on a lot of parlays. Exactly. This is great. That was amazing. Yeah. I can't believe we're getting married. Oh my God, guys. Can I be your best man? Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. We were trying to get out of the glacier, out of Adernach All Waters Tower. Oh, you want to go to the glacier first? Yeah, we gotta. No, no, no. That was not the deal. No, you didn't. We didn't talk about this. No, the deal was we go. You said the order of events was we go and we turn your friend in for the bounty. And then I get the new ship. And Tuck laughs and he's like, oh, this is so us. Oh, is it not?

We would not want to start our new relationship on and wink. There's the tip of a blade. On such poor standing would we, my love. Tuck presses the blade into his neck. He like leans forward and he's like, no, we wouldn't. And he pulls his axe out and like lays it against her throat. It's quite important that we go to the glacier first. I guess another. Danger charisma. Okay. Or I guess the parlay is I'll kill you. I guess we'll kill each other on the deck of the ship. And we're insane.

This is already the most toxic relationship that's ever existed. What a surprise. The first person. The first person that says yes to Tuck is out of her mind. No, Ruby said yes. That's true. I guess. All right. 2d6 plus charisma. 10 plus one is 11. So that. So your axe blade. Is to her neck. Her sword tip is pressed under your chin. And we're like pushing into each other's weapon. Yeah. And she leans forward and plants a fucking kiss right on your lips. And pulls back. Laughs.

Sheathes her sword. Says. All right. We go north. Tuck passes out. It's the deck. It's the deck. We'll cut forward a little bit. Are the. Are the Thunderbirds like circling above us? I think. Cloud piercer was like, I'll be back when you need me. Okay. Cause this was part of the game was that I was a bad boy. So I gotta go. Yeah. And Gail just poof. Yeah. In fact, it's the kind of thing she took off and the front of the boat almost dipped underwater with the power of her takeoff.

She took off when Victoria and I got married. Yeah. No, you. It's you guys kissed and then boom. There was a sonic boom as Gail took off in the disguise. And yeah, we'll cut forward a bit. Yeah. All the boats are underway. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Where like Maggie is, I don't know, doing boat stuff, like coiling a rope or whatever and looking into through like a window into the cabin and sees Tuck and Victoria in the captain's cabin having like wine and like cheese and shit.

Billy's with Maggie right now. Like they didn't even invite us. I mean, I guess we were there for the wedding. This is their honeymoon, I guess. What? Maggie, when did they get married? When she accepted his proposal. She points at Ving. Captains are legally empowered. To marry people on their vessel. Tuck and Victoria are legally married now. What? Yeah. I didn't even get to do any best man stuff. Tuck's so far away.

I mean, Billy, there'll be one day a real actual land wedding that will be important to all of you. This is going to end poorly. This is not the wedding. So don't worry. There'll be… We got to… God, Tuck is fucking screwed. I don't know. Ving says looking in the porthole. And we rack focus to the two figures through the window and into the cabin. Yeah. And she's swirling a goblet of wine in her hands. And he's swirling a goblet of cheese in his. Cheese cubes. No, not even cheese cubes.

It's cheese whiz. It's like liquid cheese. Like fondue. Like, wow. It's thick. It is. You could have some wine if you want. You don't have to drink the cheese. That's for fondue. I'm kind of in a bulk phase. I'm doing a keto thing right now. So I can't really have wine. Ah, wee wee. Yeah. But I can wee wee too. I'll go wee wee. He's like, good idea. And he goes… You read my mind, darling. This is so sweet. Yeah. So tell me, how is it that you know Maggie Kern? Oh, man. Man, Maggie.

Long time listener. First time caller. Yeah, we met. Maggie and I met in Mudlark. She was pretending to be Muckraker, who was kind of like a… Is it an alter ego kind of thing? And then we found a box with a wizard in it. Tuck's not holding anything back. And he's like, but we didn't know there was a wizard in it then. She asked us to take it to a vault. We didn't. Cracked the box. Wizard came out. Came out. Killed Ving. Billy and I went to the spirit world to bring him back. Found him.

Brought him back. And then when we came back, Maggie was there. So pissed off. So pissed off. Oh, Maggie is a very intense personality. Yeah, yeah. Bunch of other stuff happened. And then we took it to the vault. But we had made friends with the wizard that was inside of it. And then he begged to not be left there. So I let him out. Smashed the box with this axe. Oh. And she reaches, and she kind of like puts a hand on the handle of the axe. It's a very impressive weapon.

And when she touches it, TLC go, whoo. Oh my God, bro. She's fucking touching us, bro. And then we went to McCall after that for a while. And then Maggie showed up pissed because we let the wizard out. And then we realized at that point that the entire world was ending because there was no magic. So now we're going to the glacier, which belonged to a wizard called Adonai Gallwater to see if there's another box there with another wizard who might be able to help us get magic back.

Because Perel doesn't have his magic anymore because of a thing I did by accident. So when you say Perel does not have his magic anymore, that means he's what? Still with you? Yeah, he is. He's in the fanny pack. Fanny pack. And Tuck is like, yeah, I have like a little… Yeah, Ving and Billy's eyes are winding. We're looking at each other like, dude, you know what? Maybe shut… Maybe no more fondue for you. And we bust in the door. Yeah, both big kick. My kick doesn't do anything. Well, yeah.

You kick a second after I do. Just a tiny little like going… There's the newlyweds. Whoa, look at you in the cheese. Loose lips sink ships. Let's take this away. Did you guys break into the cabin? Yeah, I'm going to steal the fanny pack without Tuck noticing. Oh, please. Take a seat. There is more than enough fondue in one for everyone. Thank you. And she grabs some stools and chairs. Come, come. Why, thank you. And Billy does a deep bow where he's stealing the fanny pack off Tuck's waist.

Okay, 2D6 plus dexterity. Oh, it's in my backpack. Oh, from his backpack. Yeah, totally. I'm doing a big flourish, like hello to Victoria. Okay. And so you're doing a big hello? Flourishy like dance, like oh, mind if I dance with the bride? So I'm grabbing her like… Oh, yeah. Oh, spin around. Perfect. And yeah, Billy, so on a seven to nine, you get up on the backpack and start opening up to get the bag. But Tuck does know that you're on his back. You're saying a lot of stuff.

And I don't trust her near the fanny pack. Oh, yeah, okay. I know she's my stepmom and everything, but it's going to take time to get to know her. You know what? I don't think there's ever been a situation in fiction where stepmothers have not been. Does Tuck realize that he is actually married? He does not know that he's married. He's just like, that was a great kiss. She's really leaning into this bit and it's hilarious. Billy is so cute that Billy keeps saying stepmom like that.

And Vick's trying to drop hints too. He's like, I can't believe that it's been four hours since your actual marriage. And Tuck like laughs and he's like, guys. That's a good way to put it. That is so funny. Since your actual legally binding maritime life. Law marriage. And Tuck's like, oh man. And boy, are my arms tired. I just flew in from my honeymoon. Boy, I just got married. My arms tired. From jerking off so much. Am I right, guys? I wouldn't know. I'm not actually married to this woman.

And she laughs and laughs and she's flinging her hair around as Vick says, and she's like, I'm not actually married to this woman. And she's flinging her hair around as Vick says, and her dancing around the cabin, which is very ostentatiously furnished. Like maybe the highest concentration of expensive shit you've ever seen in one place. Oh, cool. Like fine silk cushions and goblets, plates, platters of all precious metals, weapons, ancient and new, just all over the fucking place.

This is like Ruby's lair, but times a hundred. Yeah, this is like Ruby's lair. If Ruby was an actual pirate and not someone pretending. Not a drama student? Actor. Exactly. And she actually, something that I keep forgetting and messing up is that Victoria has said several times that she is a privateer. Oh. Yes. Not a pirate. Yeah. So she has said specifically she's a privateer. What does that mean? What? A privateer? Yeah.

That means I'm legally employed by a government or a nation to wage war on the seas on their behalf. Oh, cool. Yes, we. What nation? The Firefields Principality. Oh, cool. Under the princeps of Blacklass. Oh, cool. So that is what I do. I sail up and down the coast. I am, you know, I take a ship here and there. And perhaps I take a bit of private contract work on the side. Cool. Yes. But you will know all about that soon, my sweet honey bun.

And she reaches out and like grazes Tuck's cheek as she swirls by dancing with Ving. And Tuck's like, I can't wait to learn, my cinnamon bun. And Maggie is like, arms crossed. My cinna bun. I can't wait to cover you in white goo. Oh, Jesus Christ. My cinna bun. Cinna bun. Fucking hell. Maggie is leaning in the doorway, arms crossed, watching all this happen. Uh, Vicky, I don't mean to interrupt, but I'd like to go over to the clear water now, if that's all right. Of course. It is at Matt.

Me vessel as su vessel is not the fake language I speak, but it is something that all of the listeners will understand the shorthand for. Go for it. And Maggie nods, looks at Tuck pointedly, and then looks at Ving and Billy, and then leaves. Twirls her way. I'll go on with Maggie. Very well. I would love some tamerlan with my sweet beloved. I'm staying here with you guys. Well, me and this cheese are going to also go to the clear water. I'll also go with Maggie. Okay.

And then Tuck, as Billy shuffles out, he's like, all right, just go easy on the cheese. It's very heavy. No problem. And he says this sitting on a toilet, on a commode. Make sure you wear enough layers, my sweet. I would not want you to catch a cold. And Billy looks at Victoria like, don't tell me what to do. Hey, do not talk to your mother that way. Don't talk to him like that. Things my mother. You're just my stepmother. And I slammed the door.

This family dynamic just got interesting and complicated. The children's super cautious. He would have come to find me charming as everyone does. I'm sure. I'm sure. Now, and she spins. This dynamic is interesting. She spins away from Ving and lands in the chair at the table and crosses one leg over the other leg, like right at the knee. So it's just like boot, boot. And her like sarong is kind of, you know, draped very, she's not doing this. I mean, maybe this is just how she looks. Yeah.

Maybe this is something that she's trying to do. So we have much time before we get to the North. Is there anything that you would like to go over anymore? Tell me more of your adventures. Tell me more of this parade. What do you know of the Ranger King? Oh, just stories and tales. Yeah. As much as anyone else does his victory over the beast of the bloody hills, the battle, uh, falling leaves. Um, what is the best of the bloody Hughes? Oh, it was some sort of great monster.

Describe this monster. These are, she holds up her hands. These are stories and tales. I, these are nuts. Ah, yeah. Dear step wife. I love a good story. It is, it is said that there are many centuries ago, there was a monster of some kind living on the hillside in the forest. And this monster would come down and it would raid the hillside and destroy many villages in the forest. It's great teeth gnashing and growing and ending Elven lives.

It's great paws swiping through tearing trees up by the route until the Thania, the Ranger King went out with burr and arrow stalked the beast, did better and took it down with a single arrow to the heart. An arrow like this. And Ving pulls out the Raven fledged arrow. Ah, this is a beautiful thing. She reaches out, plucks it from your hand and kind of twirls the, I was going to say, cause it is the word she twirls the shaft. This is a beautifully made missile weapon.

And I would not be surprised if one such as the Thania would use it. She flicks her hand out and the arrow shoots out of her grip and sticks into a wooden post. Tuck sitting next to Ving and he grips his arm. So, so tight. And then he leans in and he's like, literally everything she does makes me so fucking horny. It's crazy. Easy, big fella. And this is one tale of many that have been told of the Ranger King. Your father. This is so. So called. Fascinating.

The man who raised me under the lie of father. Ah, yes. I know family complications. Well, I'm family is not there who we are born to, but who we choose to keep close. And then tuck is like, you're right. Family is who we die for. This true. And many, many of my spouses have died for me in the past. I have dispatched many a family. Maybe all is like, God, for some reason, my brain keeps thinking of like a Venus fly trap. And I don't, I don't know why. Get out of my head.

I keep thinking of Venus fly trap or like praying mantis. I don't, I, and I can't get out of their brain. I'm trying to be horny about this woman. Well, I suppose you and your father will be reunited soon. And I will come away. If I've doesn't come reach you. And one husband shorter. Another family member fed, to the wolves. We shall see. Narrowing eyes. We shall see. Well, that's it for me. I'm tired. All right.

At this time for a husband and wife to be alone, I took pastor because he drank too much cheese. Oh, thank God. Well, perhaps another time. There is no rush to consummate the marriage. You know, that depends when it depends. It's true. She winks a little bit laughs and then goes and lays down next to tuck and, uh, she's really doing everything she can. She walks over to the bed and is like, and now I think that I will take my rest as well.

And she turns to Ving as he's in the doorway, tucks dead asleep. She cocks one leg and starts undoing the ties on her boot. Whoa. And he says, yes. Retrieves the arrow from the doorframe. We shall see you tomorrow. Good night. Good night. Sleep. Why? And he turns. And as he's leaving, he says, Oh, I will. I will. I was, I was, I was got too long. Oh, can I, I will. You can hear the gears grinding in his head to come up with something. I'm gonna sleep. All right.

And don't you let the bed bugs bite. And we cut to the clear water abilities on his hands and knees scrambling around. The bed bugs. And that is a new adjective. I don't know. Yeah. But yeah, he's, he's looking around for, for, um, for wicker. Yeah. Maggie, the second she hit the deck on the clear water was grabbing people and was like, get the fuck out, go back over there. And people are like, you can't, you can't say this shit to me. I, I, I work on this boat.

All my stuff's here too, but she is like, exactly. Yeah. You see some of the people from the clear water, like, so relieved. Yeah. So there's like, Oh my God, Maggie. Oh my God. You're back. Oh, it was terrible. I'm so scared. You gotta help me. They made me wear these tight leather pants. I don't look good in them. I'm allergic to baguettes, but you're just crawling around going wicker, uh, discern realities. 2d six plus wisdom. Oh, I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go.

I'm going to go. Six, six. Okay. You crawl around on the ground like an animal. Yes. A candlelight flickering over you as the lanterns in this room are the only thing lighting it as you like crawl between two bunks, like the light casts over you. But just as you're about to cross the passage, two legs thunk down as someone gets up from the cot, you see they're wearing shorts because it's sailors, uh, it's cold, but he's wearing shorts, right?

Cause he's Canadian and you see crawling up his legs tattoo designs that look very familiar. Is it a, a magic? It is a magic. It's a magic. Billy clamps his own most sharp. What are you doing here? What do you mean? What am I doing here? This is my boat since when? Since forever. Fuck you. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Fuck you. Billy on.

She's one of his knives. Can you see who it is? No step. I'm going to back stab. Oh, you're just going to go for it. Yeah. All right. Attack a surprise or a defenseless enemy. Two to six plus dexterity. 11. Fuck. Yes. So on an 11 with back stab, what does it say? I choose two of the following. I don't get into melee with them and then I deal damage. Okay. Yeah. Go for it. I'm going to deal damage, which is a D eight plus a D six. Okay. Jesus. Six. Six. Okay. So are you trying to kill this guy?

No, I just want to make sure he doesn't hurt Maggie. Yeah. So as with anything, damage can be a lot of stuff. It doesn't have to be. I am taking blood from this person's body. So what do you do? How do you get him in a position where he can no longer fight back? I hate to do it, but the back of the knee. Oh yeah. I stab it into the back of his knee. They're not like the deepest. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. He's not going to be able to do much. Uh huh.

So he cries out and hits the ground and it is a guy that you are not familiar with. What's your name? Oh God. Slap his face. Eric. But E R E K fantasy style. That sounds about right. Kind of McCall. And this is Eric. Who do you work for? What do you mean? I work on the boat. With who? With what's her face? Blah Blanche. Blah Blanche. Blah Blanche. Blah Blanche. Blah Blanche. Blah Blanche. Blah Blanche. Blah Blanche. Why'd you stab me? Because. I thought you were going to hurt Maggie.

Why would I do that? I don't know. Because you look scary. Oh. And you said. Who are you. Yeah. Because somebody's on the boat that I don't recognize. I'm really sorry. You had really scary tattoos and you put your feet down really slow. Like a murderer would. And. And. And. Um. I didn't know what to do. You. You know what. You made the right move. And he throws his hand down.

Down and a burst of air throws Him to his feet and he starts sprinting Away from you two he can't move Well he starts sprinting and His steps on his stabbed leg And the leg starts to bend underneath Him and then you hear And a cat comes Shooting out of a cupboard And just hits him in the side Of the head and takes him down Onto a cot where he smacks his head And just skids to a halt I knew it Let's tie him up Moments later he's tied up in rope And I'm leading up against him with a Wicker I missed you so much I missed you how are you Why do you Keep doing this why do you guys Keep fucking me up Cause you keep running away and acting like a Bad guy I am a bad guy Well I'm gonna I have to wait until my parents come and talk to you What are you talking about Just Go to sleep or something Does Maggie know who this person is Maggie doesn't know this person specifically But she like spits on the ground Next to him I want to Spout Lore who he is Eleven Yeah so this is mostly information Interesting and useful That you would kind of put together Roth though not the leader of the magi Was leading a faction of the magi Some of which Were responsible for Taking the clear water and Getting away This Eric guy Seems to be You would think a magi who Was just kind of like alright Roth something happened I'm gonna lay low Victoria LaBlanche has the ship now I'm just gonna try And keep my head down and wait And you guys sort of Just surprised him He is a victim of circumstance In a lot of ways but honestly A good instinct on Billy's part because If he was left to his own devices he probably Would have tried something and now he's Just like we should have Killed you when we had the chance Yeah well You didn't and now look at you A little kid and a cat beat the shit out of you And you're tied up on a boat And we're gonna throw you overboard I hope you do I hope a shark swallows me whole Yeah you heard me I don't even care if I die Wow this guy has a real Gerard Way Vibe When I was a young boy my father he took me into the city To see a marching band He said son when you grow up Will you be the savior of the broken The beaten and the damned And I said fuck yeah I will And that's when I joined the Magi Wow Got some really cool tattoos Thanks man You guys are here too No this is just me Well I guess Ving might be here Just wanders into the cabin from the other boat I heard screaming and a puff of air I heard a puff of air Look what I found Oh I pulled the Magi knife and put it to his throat Who are you?

I'm Eric I'm a Magi I am a Magi Look I just kind of ended up here I'm sort of representing the fact That we all know that the Magi took the ship early on And I'm just sort of like a piece of evidence About past events History Sad dressing all you gotta do is let me go And I'll be gone you'll never see me again I don't think so we're holding you here for a while Why but why if what What do you get out of this?

Shut up Just shut up He's slapping me in his little hands I've heard enough about your marching bands Just stay quiet until our dad gets here So what cut to the morning When Tuck finally wakes up From all the cheese and wine that he Just cheese that he had Yeah he had cheese sleeps And Victoria is in bed next to you She's got her cheek on her fist And her propped up on her knee Tuck has so much saliva in his beard In his saliva Good morning my sweetheart And Tuck like is like Oh dear And he puts a hand next to his mouth To just cover up the giant pool of spit And he's like Whoa Good to see you this morning And then he realizes that she's Totally fucking nude She's like artfully draped In the silk sheets that she has But she's definitely nude under that Okay Whoa So early So So early So much This morning Yes the sun has risen On a bright new day We shall be approaching the jaws Probably by nightfall But we will want to pass in the day of course Yes We do want to do that Yes In the daytime In the daytime Bright The bright light of day Which means We have some time to kill Okay She's sort of swirling a finger Along like She's like connecting the coin pieces In time to time To Tuck's chest With her finger And then Tuck Also realizes That somehow He's nude too You look so uncomfortable Who sleeps in a sweaty old loincloth Usually me Yeah that's usually how I do it I laid out something new for you What did you lay What It is a Burgundy Silk Loincloth Okay This is nice Isn't it?

It is nice Much more breathable And it seems you are not bothered by the cold Oh yeah No I don't really get that cold Other than the silk Would be perfect for you Okay Enjoy my sweet Okay So we're not doing anything right now or Yeah I mean Strike while the iron is hot No I don't feel like I still have a lot of cheese in me so Probably not a good thing for anybody right now Very well And Tuck like Gets up and like He does that thing where he hops to like To put his loincloth on Yeah but it's like he puts the new one on And he's like cool this is great Thank you so much And I Am Like Tuck's loincloth His original one Is quite stiff So you can't really tell What's going on underneath Yeah But you can really tell He's Really hard Oh my god And yeah So what you just leave the room Yes Grab your stuff Grab your axe and your backpack Yeah My boner smacks against the door A couple of times A couple of times Cause he goes Sorry He runs out He's like sorry I forgot my axe Sorry And my backpack Toodaloo Bye And you see that she's getting up up She's getting up out of bed as you're leaving The sheet's just falling off of her I go back one more time It's like I forgot My Boob And you walk out of the room Walk out onto the deck The cold air of the north Mercifully Taking care of any weird situations Anyone else might be a part of Holy shit Wow Holy shit I know right Who's this?

Oh my name be Gerard Oh Gerard dude Oh my god I just saw Victoria Blanchnagel And it is Quite a sight Oh god yeah Yup Do you know where my Uh What's it called? What are they called? The Family Family is Family is Maybe on the clear water Okay cool I'm gonna go over there okay?

I Cool Don't care what you do Okay Don't point that thing at me And we cut to the clear water Yeah Tuck Doesn't even use like a gangplank or anything He just hurriedly takes a leaping jump across The two decks And uh You get to the other side you find Maggie Billy and Ving And Maggie sees you in the Burgundy silk loincloth And starts laughing immediately Oh no Is it that bad?

It's just It's Hanging there It's like a little Fancy handkerchief Okay guys You just wear Whatever Already You've been You've been married for She looks at a wristwatch She's apparently wearing Twelve hours And you're already wearing The clothes she sits out for you Wait what? We I just proposed We're not married We're engaged Oh Oh Tacoma What?

Maritime law my boy Tac you're married You're married No No Tac There was no priest There was no Doesn't have to be Captain is priest and parishioner both Neither of us Cut off our pubes And threw them into the holy flame This isn't McCall Your rituals have no play on the seas And she reaches out Very sarcastically And grips your hand in both hands And goes Many happy returns to the groom She said that she Kills a lot She A lot of her exes Are dead Yup Okay She's got a long list of Deceased lovers Fuck Fucking fuck Yeah but they didn't have A family behind them Maybe They did Some of them Yup Some of them just Just excited loners Some of them Wealthy noblemen Wealthy noble women Whoever kinda Hoves into view really She I Yeah Okay Well She Okay Um Okay Yeah God You guys didn't Did you No no no Consummate No I drank too much cheese last night Uh But Jing and Billy both nodding Oh yeah Cheese dick Yeah You got cheese dick But uh Uh I I'm trying to think Of what to do But I saw her boobs So Yeah All I can think is the word boobs I know you get that way When you see boobies You know what We can think about this later Boobs Boobs Boobs Boobs Boobs Boobs Boobs Boobs Boobs Boobs Boobs Just throw me overboard I want a shark to eat me Well I'm not going to do anything that you want Eric which is his name Don't say it like that Is this a magi?

What are you doing here? What am I doing here? I'm undercover As a sailor? But Roth is dead dude What? Roth is dead Oh sorry I forgot to Mention the really important part to you Fuck He's been dead for like a while Yeah a month You didn't feel it? I did I didn't know what it was He's gone I think you're kind of alone in this I cannot be the last magi There's no way I think a lot of them might have Passed away Or scattered How do you think we got this?

Magi knife Alright now I really want you to throw me overboard What? Roth is dead for real Oh yeah I hold up the vial I have some of his tattoo Yeah he extended himself too far In the fight And uh We tried to save him but he He decided he would rather die Uh We gave him like a A Macallan burial What was he trying to do? He thought he was bringing balance Yeah that's what he told us He was doing But he was trying to get the power of the moon His eyes widen a little bit?

Yeah No Yeah No He was trying to take that power into himself Using Ving's blood Oh my god Lord of the flame Alright Well And he His hands are tied by his sides But he kind of goes Well Like shrugs Yeah But his hands are just down by his knees Well that's it for me I'm done I'm done I don't wanna I'm not I'm done What do you mean you're done?

I don't wanna do I'm I can't go back to Macall There was already sort of a fractious situation within the Medjay And if I go back they'll kill me So What do you wanna do with me? Where's your home? Here I guess On the boat now I can't I was born Raised in Macall Joined the Medjay I can't go back Can't go back Burned two of my hands Too many bridges Literally? Uh well And he goes Flicks his hands out And there's a little poof of air Not literally but Why don't you just cut me loose?

And then I promise Not to kill you Cause I have no reason to Do you Really promise? Yeah I promise Do you pinky promise That you won't ever hurt us? Well you gotta Ever again? You gotta free my arm if I'm gonna pinky promise You can pinky promise from here Can I? Is this binding? We will show you trust He sticks out a pinky From by his knees It is binding Okay Yeah I promise not to hurt you Do I have to roll for it? What does it say?

I don't know if you do This says when Oath when someone promises something You may spend a point Oh I'm a fairy child Oh yeah Okay so that's So if you have any fairy child left I do Okay Alright yeah I promise not to hurt you Only pinky promise Uh huh I unlash him Alright Fix up his leg Sorry about that Oh It'll heal in a couple weeks Yeah Okay well I'm gonna go Get some grub And see What the captain needs Or something Take it slow I uh Pull a bunch of cheese cubes Out of my pocket You can have these If you want No No Okay Keep them Those are for you You're a growing boy Bye Bye Thump Drag Thump Drag Thump Drag Maybe we should put a referral Into our ship counselor For that guy Yeah He just lost a lot Wicker is purring happily On Billy's lap Good to see you Wick Oh right You can talk to me We can all talk now Oh shit Because you all have the rings Wow Thing it's so nice to see you again So nice to For I didn't know it was possible Got even More Beautiful Can you believe that I'm doing all of this With just Rat meat I can You're always a wizard in the kitchen Oh my god I'm just resplendent Just a second I put the ring My ring on Maggie for a moment Hello Marguite It is So amazing to see you I Defended this vessel With my life She reaches down And she just Grabs You know when you grab a cat by the head Cause you're like I fucking love you so much You don't No Tuck Abdul has no idea what I mean And also Tuck doesn't know you Yeah He doesn't really like cats that much And she's like She reaches She kneels down And kisses Wicker on the forehead She's like You did an amazing job Wicker rubs her face against Maggie's And she hands the ring back I will I will be I will be borrowing that for sure I'd love to talk to my cat Anytime you want it So Now we're reunited What are we doing?

Are we taking the ship back? Are we gonna kill them all?

So here's a question For you guys Uh huh We're going to the vault right now Uh huh Uh On the ship Yeah But we don't need to We could take the Thunderbirds And just go do that Uh huh And quickly And then come back and meet them And then we'd be Picking up with our Pay Paying her Uh Off with the reward for me Yeah But what if we cut the ropes That are attached to the other boat We just Float away We just have your boat back Here's the question is Do we think we could win a naval battle Against Victoria LaBlanche?

The answer is no Yeah So should we just Play the part? Until we get there? I guess so But we could also see If we want to just Take the Thunderbirds right? We can tell her that We need to go do this first And we'll get her Her money faster Yeah I suppose so She's canny though I'm not entirely sure That she bought the Thunderbird display Entirely to begin with What?

Well she didn't need to It was so real though It was very impressive Absolutely But she is She can see through Anybody It is a little showy Thing says Uh huh Uh huh Uh huh Uh huh Uh huh Uh huh A little gauche maybe So we got two options Uh huh Either we see If we can convince her To let us take the Thunderbirds Up to the vault Or we do this whole thing At Bicey Let's try to convince her Yeah I think we should At least see her Alright So you're gonna go Talk to Victoria?

Yeah Yeah And she is Striding about the deck Being very captainly Mmhmm She's actually She's standing On the front of the boat With one foot up On the thing With like a spyglass Looking to the north And Tuck goes up to her And is like Hey babe Uh Quick question Yes my love My Altamorels Oh I You're What? My sweet summer breeze Oh yeah My Uh My Dirty Winter storm Fuck No actually It's pretty good What do you desire of me?

You'll have me mind By the answer Oh that's great Because I Oh That's great Oh that's perfect For I have Also I have a question For you What is it?

How would you feel Hypothetically If Me and the boys We had We have a thunderbird You saw it We take that thunderbird Her name is Gale Nothing weird happened Between us It's ancient history Uh And we We fly up to the vault And we do the thing That we want to do It's pretty quick And then We can fly back here And then It's Faster You'll get Your 5000 coins faster We can just head Straight back She holds up a hand To Cheer City Old Cheer Wherever She's shaking her hand Back and forth No no my dear I would Love nothing more Than to take this quest With you I could not bear To part from my sweet Ocean lily I will defend you With my life And I Cannot bear The thought of you Going to this Dangerous Arcane place alone Risking your life Without me By your side Stepmom Uh We would protect Him with All of our lives And oh no But uh What to protect Who would If you protect him With your life Who protects your life I must protect your life Your sweet Dear stepmother Step Wife In-law One of your Entrustee crew And They need you here Also Kind of Low-key You're not Invited Oh no no You do not understand My dear brother-in-law It is not that I am not invited It is that You are not Not permitted Oh um Oh But But But We could parlay Stepmom Yeah let's parlay We could parlay with something What does she want?

More money What if we offer To bring her with us To the vault Well yeah But she Is way too interested in Magic I'm gonna use One of my fairy childs To charm Victoria Mmm Oh Stepmother Do we Really need Your permission And if we do We would We would be Ever so grateful And I would be The best step Son That you ever saw And Tuck Like leans in He's like Babe I'm so sorry But I kind of Promised them Before I even knew We were getting married That we were gonna do this Yeah he promised me This trip Yeah look at him He's so sad That we might not Be able to do it And he's got Big eyes That are like Sparkly You can see Her eyes glitter When she looks at Billy's glittering eyes Billy uh Clasps his hands Together in a little prayer And then like Kicks his small leg up Yeah And a squirrel Like runs across He doves A little finch Lands on Billy's shoulder Please Uh and Billy You see Her face Undergoing A process That You've seen A couple times before She is really Fighting your charm Whoa And she grits Her teeth And she You see a tear Forming In the corner Of her eye Ah You do not Understand I cannot Allow you To reach The vault Before me And her hand Is like Shaking As it's moving Towards Her sword No Stepmother And I put my hands On her Hand I also was going For her hand And Billy's like Pushing it And he feels resistance He's like This always works Yeah you can feel Just sheer Force of will And she's Gritting her teeth You can hear like Her jaw Like pop A little bit And her hand Darts to her sword And draws her blade Whoa And she lunges At Maggie A perfect Fencer's lunge Whoa What do you do I kick The hand that's Holding the rapier To get it out of her hand 2d6 plus dexterity Oh fuck The worst stat Seven Shit You kick her hand As she like Lunges at Maggie And it just like Arcs up and cuts Up her cheek Whoa And she takes the spin And she kicks it up And uses the momentum To spin kind of Around the outside And you can see That she's coming To lunge at you now I get in between The two of them I pull up some wood From the deck Okay yeah So Elemental mastery 2d6 plus con I failed I got six Oh I'll I aid I cling on to Victoria's arm And I say Please Stepmother Yeah totally So you just roll 2d6 plus bond It gives me an extra Second to pull Up some wood Nine Nine So that's a seven Instead of a six Yeah so you have to Choose one from the list Of elemental mastery The effect I desire Comes to pass I want to take her Rapier into some wood Like a shield So you don't Maintain control And you pay nature's price Uh yeah The sword pierces Right through a board Yeah Like she hits it Right on the seam That just sends it Through the wood And splits the wood Oh yeah And Tuck like Steps into it And like Takes the rapier In his like gut And like grabs Her wrist And he's like Uh Till death do we part Ving just says that Before I have a chance To get anything else Till death do You To part Uh yeah So you gotta roll Unencumbered unharmed Oh yeah In sickness And in death Twelve Twelve Wow So on a twelve plus You I take half the damage That I would've gotten Otherwise And then on a ten plus You also defeat Expose or frustrate Your oppressor With your stubbornness Okay First you're gonna roll A d12 Twice and take the better Okay That's ten And that's three So you're gonna take Five damage Okay So yeah The sword sinks Into your torso But it doesn't Really hurt all that much Strangely But you do feel The blade sink Into your side Okay And now you're separated By a length of steel And boards from the ship And then he knees her In the stomach Oh Jesus Christ Oh And she is kind of She puts a hand on a knee She coughs up A bunch of phlegm Yeah After getting hammered In the chest I am sorry my love But I cannot allow you To reach The glacial tower Before me And her crew Draws weapons She reaches into her boot And pulls out a long Stiletto And they charge And that's where we're Gonna end it for this week Fuck yeah Oh cool Sick I'm your game master Sean O'Hara Joining me as always Playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz So long everybody Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers Take care And playing Fat Billy The Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Why didn't it work?

I mean it It kind of My move It kind of did I love it Yeah But I guess we'll learn It works to expose What the fuck she's doing Yeah Yeah It was good Okay goodbye for now Thank you to Aaron Reed For our incredible intro And outro music You can find Aaron's Original music And his newly released album At aaronreed.bandcamp And you can find All of the music Produced for the show At the Speltlore SoundCloud And thank you to all Of our supporters Around the world Without whom This show would be possible If you want us to support The show You can join us At patreon.com Slash speltlore Or speltlore.com Slash money please To get access to Bonus content A whole bonus campaign Using World of Blades By Dwan Figueroa Featuring the Cool Treat Kids In the High Spear Mall Merch Gift boxes Streams And a whole whack of shit So yeah Check us out Patreon.com Speltlore Slash speltlore And thank you Finally to you For listening We'll see you next time And so ends the tale Of adventures three Who tried the best they could Though dumb and scared And lost they'd be For time's abreast In revelry And though our journey May be like a conclusion We'll find out We will not leave you Without a resolution Return next week To hear some more Whilst you commute Or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Speltlore

Spout Lore is made possible by contributions from our listeners. Listeners like you. If you'd like to support us, go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore. Singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts.

So gather round friends and listen close. For the tales about… Spout to Star. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore. That was the most YouTuber I've ever sounded. What's up guys? What's up guys? It's me. Sean O'Hara and I'm here with another Minecraft Let's Play. I am your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdulaziz. What's up guys? Playing Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Opper. Hey guys. What's up? It's me.

Don't forget to lick that subscribe button. Wow. Playing Fat Billy, the Half-Linked Thief, Jessica Tai. Hello and welcome to another episode of Pasta Grannies. Introducing somebody else's YouTube channel. I'm Pasta Grannies. Sorry. I'm not doing this right. You're doing it. Go. That's all I want. I mean, check out Pasta Grannies. It's a great YouTube channel. When last we left our heroes, they were introduced to Captain Victoria LeBlanc, privateer, feared sword of the high seas.

And Tuck's new wife. Yes. So there was a series of events that led up to this. There was a series of events. There was a series of weddings that led up to them being married. Yeah. Yeah. There was a. There was some attempts to ingratiate themselves to LeBlanc and her and her crews after Maggie Sochter won. And that was never really cleared up. Yeah. What their relationship is. What their history is. You don't know yet. Exactly.

But what we do know is that we put on a really sick show with Gail and Cloud Piercer, the Thunderbirds. Exactly. To try to impress her or scare her. And it worked. That's why you guys were on the deck in the first place and why Maggie Sochter won. And after some. Oh, you know. We're just here to help and take us to the north and this and that and the other thing.

Tuck made an offer, which was turn in our friend Ving here, whose bounty is 5000 coins, which is more than enough to get you a new ship in return. Give Maggie Cole back the clear water. And also, please marry me. And if you want, it's stupid or whatever, but I don't care. And Victoria LeBlanc accepted all of those things. Yeah. Tuck thinking it was just.

Another one of his silly, out of control, flirtatious events in which he just trips over himself talking to a woman he's attracted to Maggie, knowing and explaining to Billy and Ving that Tuck was now legally bound to marriage to Victoria LeBlanc. There was a night on the ship. Victoria and Tuck had some wine and cheese. Ving and Billy were also present. Yeah. Not at first. Yeah. That was rude. Because Tuck was. Yeah, that's true. No invite was extended.

Tuck was really spilling the beans to Victoria about your entire adventure. Tip to tails. The whole thing. Yeah. And that's when Billy and Ving popped in and tried to slow things down. Billy grabbed the fanny pack and was like, fucking stop talking about this thing. Maggie interjected, made it clear that she does not like Victoria, but that she was just going to watch all of this crash and burn in front of her before heading over to the clear water with Billy.

And to find Wicker the cat and finding also Eric, a Medjay, who's just kind of been laying low, waiting for orders, basically, like I was told to go on this boat and no one has come to get me. Yeah. I'm just going to wait. I feel bad for the guy. What happened after that? We were talking about what the best way to get to the vault was. And we were like, we should just take the Thunderbirds. This is stupid that we would sail the whole way there. Right.

So you went to Victoria and said, hey, this is what we're going to do. And Victoria was like, no, no, no, no. I'll come with you. We'll sail the boats. It's all fine. And you were like, no, no, no, no. Like, we're just going to go. And she was like, no, no, no. You don't understand. Yeah. I'm not letting you go. Yeah. Billy attempted to charm her. She resisted. And somehow it didn't work. Yeah.

She was able to resist somehow and revealed that, in fact, she would rather kill you all than let you get to the glacial tower before her. There was a fight. She stabbed Tuck. Yeah. Bing tried to stop it with the elemental mastery floorboards. Stabbed Tuck right in the side. Tuck took it and stabbed himself, technically. Yeah. Before pushing her back. And Victoria LeBlanc drew her knife, said that you couldn't get to the glacial tower before her, and her crew drew weapons and charged.

That is where we find ourselves now. What do you do? Okay. I would like to shoot first. If that's okay. Yeah. Absolutely. Sweet. I pick up a bunch of rocks that I have been collecting. Uh-huh. Just out of your pouches. Yeah. So that's plus dexterity? Yeah. For volley, I suppose. So that's seven plus two is nine. On a seven to nine, you choose one. You have to move to get the shot, placing you in danger, as described by the GM.

You take what you can get, which means you deal your damage, but then you reduce it by 1d6 damage. You have to take several. You have to take several shots, reducing your ammo by one. I think in this case, that would mean you use all your rocks to try and hit whoever you're trying to hit. Okay. I'll take several shots. Okay. So you're just going to whip all your rocks at once. Yeah. Who are you throwing them at? Just the guys with all their swords. Oh, just the crew in general? Okay. Great.

So yeah, go ahead and deal your damage. Okay. Which is a d8. One. One. Okay. Oh, wow. So the guy that's really been shit talking you, the guy that sounds like this, just catches one right in the forehead and he's laid out on the ground, but he was the only one you hit. Well, that sucks. Not for him. That's terrible for him. But then the crew, yeah, they're moving forward. Victoria is darting towards. Should I use war cry or what are you waiting for? What are you waiting for?

We'll draw everyone potentially to you. War cry will potentially terrify everybody. I like that. I would say probably with the exception of Victoria, if I'm being honest. War cry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, we have a lot of fun here on Spout Lore. But again, we have a lot of fun here. But again, Tuck is a terrifying combatant. He's absolutely enormous.

It would be like an actual grizzly bear chasing you down. Like a T-1000 grizzly bear. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, you can go ahead and what is Warcry going to look like? I have a rape here in my stomach. I have my axe. I am wearing a maroon satin loincloth. Beautiful. Yeah, I forgot. Tuck has a new loincloth that Victoria laid out for him. Oh, you know what Tuck does? Here's what he does. He's really pissed off at Victoria LeBlanc.

Like she fucking stabbed him and like cut his friend and threatened his kid. So he's just like he rips off the fucking satin loincloth that she gave him. Okay. Because he's like… Victoria… This thing is fucking tacky and he throws it to the death. Wow. Uh-huh. And he's like, also… And then he turns to the crew. He's like, her drapes don't match her curtain. Drapes don't match the curtains. The drapes and the curtains are the same thing. All right. Yeah, roll it, I guess. Is this…

Does this count as a Warcry? I honestly don't think so. Why not? Because it's… Because it's not intimidating at all. Are you kidding? A man with like a sword in his stomach who gets absolutely naked. Yeah. Uh-huh. And is like screaming. Yeah. So again… This is stupid. Okay. Just fucking roll it. Yeah. 2d6 plus charisma. 11. 11. Okay. So your enemies act with fear… Or your enemies are afraid of you and act accordingly. Yes. And you get plus one forward against them. Yeah.

Probably mostly because I'm nude and I have a sword in my belly in all honesty. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. So the crew starts running towards you and you rip your loincloth off and start ranting about how you think the loincloth is tacky and you're just bleeding from your gut. You have a huge axe in your hands and they all just kind of stop. But Victoria laughs and she kind of flips the stiletto like the long sharp skinny blade that she has in her hand.

She's flipping it back and forth and she's like, Oh, I don't know my love. I think red is your color. And she swipes out at your chest with her knife. Whoa! That's a cool line. I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I want to roll a fight with honor real quick. Yeah. She's swinging on tuck. I can maybe block it. Yeah, totally. Great. I got plus con. I got nine. Nine. So what are you trying to do with your… I'm going to block a foe meant for someone else. So you're going to take this hit? Yeah.

Okay. So remember she rolls a D12 and takes the better for damage. So you're going to do that and then take half that. Okay. Yeah. Six. Six. So three damage. Okay. So yeah, she lashes out with the knife and you just step forward. I grab it. I grab the tip of her stiletto. Oh, so it just slices into your hand as you grab the blade. Yeah. And I run my hand down to the tilt and then pop it out. So now I have it like a stabbing thing.

I want to come down with her rapier and try and pin her to the mass that she's standing behind. Ooh, okay. Hack and slash. Oh, I have a fight with honor. Can I use that as my damn might deal my damage to the foe? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. So yeah, you just roll your damage. Which is a D6. Yes. Six. Six. Whoa, boy. Damn. Yeah. So you just grab the blade. Blood is leaking out between your fingers. Yeah. And I say, something old, something new, something red, and something blue. I love it.

You rip it out of your hand. Flip it around. And stab her right in the shoulder. Yeah. And she do like hold onto the blade, like push her down. Into the mast. Into the mast. You're not going to be able to pin her with this. Okay. But like you have pushed her against the mast. Right. And it's at this point that the crew is avoiding Tuck, but charges the rest of you. They're all trying to swarm around Ving. Like they're trying to free their captain. I'm going to defend. Ooh, who are you defending?

Ving. Oh, nice. Yeah. All right. So I take out both my daggers. And I'm going to do the thing, you know, cut at their ankles. Zip, zip, zip. Yeah, totally. Okay. So roll 2d6 plus constitution. Okay. 12. Oh my God. Holy shit. Damn. So you hold three. Yeah. As long as you stand in defense when you or the thing you defend is attacked, you may spend hold one for one to choose an option. Mm-hmm. Redirect an attack from the thing you defend to yourself. Have the attacks damage.

Open up the attacker to an ally, giving them plus one defense. Okay. All right. All right. So you're going to hand them plus one forward or deal damage to the attacker equal to your level. I think I want to deal damage equal to my level. And your level is eight? Yeah. Okay. So with this group of rapscallions, eight damage is fucking huge. Whoa. So you're just like, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah. Yeah. I hit every Achilles heel basically. Oh my God. Yeah. I'm not stabbing. It's just swipes.

So Tuck, you see this crowd like swarm around Ving, and then you see them start falling like wheat. Like it's just like bam, bam, bam. It's like a Thresher is going through. Yeah. He's not getting all of them, but like a good third of them are. Like a Beyblade on the deck of his ship. Yeah. Red or red. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Spinning like a top. Yeah. You see Billy start spinning across the deck, slicing down people. And Victoria is being held against the mast by Ving.

Like Ving's using his body weight and the knife in her shoulder. Mm-hmm. And Ving, Victoria looks you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And she slams you in the eye, and you see them like glitter viciously. And she's like, I always choose the wrong brother. And- What? Whoa! Tuck hears that. And he's like, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? And she is going- she is trying to- she like grabs the wrist that is holding the knife, and she's trying to wrench it out of her and basically get you in a hold.

Okay. Yeah. You feel her leg like wrap around your leg, and like her other arm start coming up around the side.

Trying to yeah get you in some sort of choke hold okay what do you do um I want to uh uh uh I wanted to uh just fists of fury her do it fister thing it takes two seconds and just high fives and then uh yeah you're not getting away from me that easy uh you um yeah the only way you're getting out of this is with this barrister and a dotted line with your signature on it and his too and then I'm gonna fist of fear billy's like pausing from his stuff like what is he saying one of the pirates that's laying on the ground with his achilles tendon slash is like do you guys talk this much during fights normally not really honestly and I'm so sorry about it it's just but it's just you know it's all in a day's work and then while she's uh wrapping around me I want to I'm gonna use elemental form and I'm gonna bring all the water up and behind me and go underneath underneath my skin in between myself and her and create a barrier and I want to build up a um uh weird poseidon like creature and grow myself to um a third bigger than I am okay uh 2d6 plus constitution that's right eight I get to hold and uh yeah a bunch of people on the deck are like swept off their feet as seawater rushes up over the side of the boat and climbs up your body forcing victoria's arm and leg off of you I'm gonna hold like a stockade style thing up yeah totally you can spend one year hold for that that's not something you're just gonna get to do I gotcha I gotcha yeah yeah okay yeah when I when when the water comes up I I use it to lock her into place yeah and she definitely finds a way somehow to make her like this uh something that she is trying to use as a seductive technique where like her wrists are bound above her head and like her hair is wetly hanging in front of her face she's like it seems I am at your disposal and then tuck slugs are in the face okay you don't have to hack and slash she's bound okay you can just deal your damage okay seven so it's just this like thunder crack that's tuck's face pops in and she spits a bunch of blood out and she looks back up and she's smiling like blood in her teeth dude this is turning me on in a weird way oh my god you have no clothes on having steps in front of and as the crew like backs up a little bit you can see billy's still holding two bloody knives on the ground but maggie walks up and like chest kicks a dude to the ground and like pushes people away so now there's a bit of space between you ving is standing there in his moonlit water form of course always moonlit uh holding victoria aloft in this like stockade stockade style wrist manacles of ocean water and moonlight and maggie taking charge for a moment is just like everybody back the fuck up like she's grabbed a sword off the ground and is just like created a gap in the bodies between you guys and the rest of the crew giving you a moment to act what do you do I'd like to use fairy dust uh all the pirates asleep okay fairy dust oh 10 okay that means you get to affect a lot of people and you can make it work for a long time I'm going to do that okay so you just walk up and what um I put like the fairy dust in the water like as the ship bucks up from a wave and tilt all the water starts rushing towards the pirates and billy puts his hands in the water and all the dust like all the magic comes like flowing out and they all fall asleep into their noses and eyes and shit yeah and they all hit the deck and they started going shoe did you put victoria to sleep too no okay so she's just hanging there watching this happen blood in her teeth grinning manically god what is up with you oh can I do another move sorry yeah yeah oh boy can I use lightning a bottle yes what are you trying to do with lightning in a bottle I'm trying to get out from victoria why she wants to get to the tower before us and who the fuck is hired yeah yeah who hired her cool interesting I mean you have to find a way to make it material it could be in her blood that's yeah I was gonna say like I think it's coming out of the blood from her mouth yeah totally okay 12 oh my gosh yes okay so what's it 12 on lightning in a bottle I can hold it indefinitely so the blood pouring out of her it's hitting like the deck of the ship and in that like images are forming so we can all see like who hired her sorry I just pictured it like there's some of the water that's holding up the bottom of the stockade and there's drops of bloods hitting it you know like the blood goes in and makes that swirling swirls into like images and movement oh yeah so it's not even like a picture quality video it's like blood outlines of like images and people and shadow pop it in blood so you see what do you see I ask her what are you going after at the towers it is as it always is people in power wish for more power and use dangerous people to secure it and what's showing up in the blood uh it is uh images of her ship arriving to a bustling port city somewhere in the world it's hard because like you've never been to this place and it's all blood but then like speaking to a person coming down from a throne whoa and handing her a big bag of money basically uh it's like one of those you know like in disney when they're doing like exposition but there's no dialogue and it's all cartoons like it's like really stylized who is that that is the princeps of the far fields principality oh shit I only work for the best and most powerful and you see like very quick images not of victoria's memory but probably things that she has learned of like a bustling seaside city huge palaces incredible machines and steam technology and like fucking automatons walking the streets armies massing and then like an enormous fog bank rolling in with the faces and jaws of slavering beasts emerging from them and rolling across the land what the fuck or like a fire raging across a lake like just like that kind of oh my god so spirit world shit too it's coming in would seem and then you know like there's the classic expositionary images of a mother clutching a child to her chest and screaming as like a fire sweeps by she's losing a lot of blood right yeah she is and then there's like an image of her like fucking one of the princeps it really closes his eyes for that one gross and he's like ugh vingintuck's head's turned to the side the same billy doesn't want to see that stuff so he's like how do you know maggie and then it shows maggie and victoria fucking to town gross being like that is a story for another time I don't want to talk to you anymore all you need to know is that I'm a professional and I always always get the job done uh billy like he's a bit seasick but the images made him yeah totally and the blood in the water diffuses and spreads across the deck all right so let to cap that off we tuck is holding his dick and balls everyone get some clothes just shut something on okay just but let me just cap this off laughing laughing okay so it seems like the the princeps of the fire fields principality are the ones that are fueling war and they're the ones that hired her to go to the vault probably to get something to help with war right so victoria my husband always so smart okay I'm gonna go get my loincloth now oh what a shame uh what a shame laughing tucks walking away holding his dick and balls in his mouth laughing laughing laughing tiny little butt but the least developed part of his body just like genetically doesn't have a huge like fucking king of the hill just like a negative but great so tuck comes back out you're I mean you're in Victoria's Cabin there's a lot of stuff in here you can fucking ransack her if you wanted to yeah I totally piss on her bed alright you come back out later you've pissed on the bed your loincloth is on still have this sword through my stomach just to be clear the pirates only had about five minutes of sleep yeah and that is a thing that Billy just says we gotta you know tick-tock everybody to the clear water yeah okay so the pirates trying to like rustle around yeah what do we want to do with her Ving says and he like stretches her arms further away from her oh yeah so she's like hanging by her two outstretched arms yeah I mean we could just tie her up really quick yeah but she's gonna come after us for sure there's no way we can win like a naval battle against Victoria LaBlanche I can pluck her limbs from her body don't want I don't want to do I don't want to kill her no she's a total psycho but I wouldn't feel okay about that huh she's looking right at you you don't have the bows I don't good neither do you true oh you should use TLC to break the ship in half right or just like cut down the mast like if you were to just walk up and smash the mast yeah so I'm like alright guys I fucking got this I know how to immobilize the ship and then I walk up to the capstone and I like just smash it off the ship so the anchor's gone yeah totally and then I also just walk up to the main mast and I start hacking it alright 2d6 plus strength okay the capstone was easy enough it's a bunch of delicate gears and stuff seven seven okay so you do you hack into it wood splinters there's a great creaking and crashing as the main mast comes down it misses most of the crew shit couple get knocked out smashed the main truck carried off one of the guys legs yeah and I just made Halifax yesterday and it crashes into the water and the seven to nine here is that stretched out by two limbs Victoria looks at you crazy gleam in her eyes blood on her lips and says for that my love I will kill you okay well that sounds super scary things pretty angry right now uh-huh lifts her up really far in there and drops her on the boat and as we're like running uh I mean yeah absolutely thank you I'd like to use that hold okay eleven holy shit boy d10 wait Oh yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes Yeah, do a ton of damage.

Yeah. I lift her up in the air and I just say, you're dumped. You're dumped. You're dumped. You're dumped. And she falls to the deck and slams into the ground. And the crew starts to wake and immediately they all gather around her. Like they're trying to be like, oh my God, Captain. Captain, are you okay? But you have all hopped onto the clear water and started cutting lines. As you're pulling away, you hear, wait for me. I want to go with you. Is it Bruno? It's Bruno.

Bruno's like, put his arm out. You can't sell the boat by yourselves. Tuck leans out. He puts an arm out. He's like, Bruno, jump. He runs and he jumps and he stretches out his arm. And I clasp it. Oh, thank God. I was really scared there for a second. And then Tuck slips. No, no, no, Tuck, don't let me go. And then he's dangling from a rope from the side of the ship. And then they're slamming against the side. He's like. Can somebody pull this up, please? Can someone pull you up? Yes.

And Billy's looking over like, no. Not really. That's a lot of weight. Pass me the boy. I throw Bruno up. Okay. 2d6 plus strength. This is kind of precarious. Nine. Yeah. Catch him. Yeah. Oh, thank you. And he's like, you catch him in your arms. He's got his legs up in his arms wrapped around your neck. My hero. I'm rocking him. Shhh. I'm rocking him back and forth and like, I was so scared around. I was so scared. Vick.

I was afraid I was going to be left on that boat with all this fucking psychos. No, you're on a boat. You're on this boat without these fucking psychos. Oh my God. Thank you so much. And he buries his face in your chest. Yeah. There, there. Big fella. Who's a big bear. You're my big bear. It was so scary, man, but she was so hot, which made it scarier, which made it hotter. To be afraid of her anymore. She can't hurt you here. Tuck walks over. He puts. He puts his hand on Bruna's shoulder.

He's like, dude, I know exactly what you, what you mean. Right? It was crazy. Right? Like she pulls you into her like aura of insanity. Isn't it weird? Why do I want to kiss somebody that wants to kill me? Because of our issue. And Billy's just like, what is going on? All these daddy dudes. Yeah. Issue dudes. Issue dudes. Issue dudes. And you are off. Cloud piercer and Gale descend from the clouds. Bing's like doing two lassoos like this. Yeah. Out on the bow.

And then just like sends them out either side of the, throws them out to the side. And they grab them with their talons and they fly forward and the whole bow goes like. Cool. Cool. And you start getting dragged forward. And before you know it. Cool. The white knight and Victoria LeBlanc are a distant memory. Mm-hmm. Oh, my God. Oh, thank God. That was so stressful. She was so scary. You're covered in blood, Billy. Am I? You are. From what? I think it's from all those guys whose legs you sliced.

Yeah. I feel really bad about that. Maggie reaches down and wipes some of it away. Yeah. It's not his blood. It's not his blood. Don't worry. No. So Billy's like scrumbling around with the fanny pack. He's like, oh, I can never undo this very well. It's so tight on my waist. He pulls off and he's like, oh, I can't do this. I'm like, oh, I can't do this. I'm like, oh, I can't do this. I'm like, oh, I can't do this. And he unflapped the flaps of the flap. The flaps of the flap tent. Wow.

Lost it for a second there, huh? It's okay. It's a really flappy tent. Especially in the wind. Exactly. But there are moments where Billy unflaps the tent in a really fucked up way. You know when you watch a kid put his shirt on and you're like, what the fuck are you doing? How are you missing those holes? So he's doing it in a really weird way where it looks lopsided and fucked up. It's like he's added material to it.

And we're just like, it's going to be so much work to fucking figure out how to fold this back up. Bruno is just standing there watching. What the fuck is this? Oh my God, you're going to love it. And Billy pokes his head out. We're making oatmeal. He sticks his head out of a fanny pack. And Bruno just doesn't, he sees Billy stick his head out of a fanny pack and doesn't respond. And then Bruno looks back at the white knight and he's thinking about it. He's like, fuck. The enemy you know.

And he just turns and he walks to the hatch and he goes below deck. And you can just hear him say, I'm not fucking dealing with this. I'm not dealing with this right now, Bruno. You got to prioritize yourself, bro. It's time to go down below. Jack off. Go to bed. I guess that's exactly what a sailor would do. It's also what Bruno at any age, any era would do. Bruno in his 90s. Yeah. Bruno. It's time to go down below. Jack off. Go to bed, man. Take your pills. Jack off. Take your pills. Jack off.

Wash your mat lock. Eat some apple sauce. Jack off again. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. All right. And you guys head into the fanny pack. Billy's squatting on the counter, stirring a big pot of oatmeal. And Perel is on the couch snoozing with a bottle of wine in one hand and a book open on his chest on the other. Hey, how are you? Whoa. What? What the fuck happened? Get up. Get up. Off the couch. What? And he gets up off the couch. What happened?

Where are, where are, he goes out and he pokes his head out of the door and he's like, what the fuck? The flaps are like, and he zips it closed and points like thumbs at the door. What the fuck is happening out there? We found the clear water. Okay, cool. And also I got married. What? Yeah. How long was I asleep? It was literally 12 and a half hours. Oh. Whoa. Yeah, I can see that. I can see that actually. It was a .5 of a Fortnite. I feel excellent. So I can understand that. Yeah.

But yeah, we met. Have you ever heard of Victoria LaBlanche? No. Okay. She's nuts. Okay. And I, yeah, I low-key proposed to her and then got married to her. Yep. Unaware of that. Mm-hmm. Oh, wait, hold on. I'm not sure. Wow. Sorry. I was looking at the sword sticking out of your torso. Yeah. This is kind of our divorce papers. Okay. All right. And hold still. Breathe in. One, two, swing. And then what? Just hold us right after that? Yeah. Yeah. Compress, compress, compress.

There's just a spray of blood all up. Everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. He's just, his mouth is closed and the blood is just, just sprayed up his mouth, up his eye. Billy's like, oh, your porridge is ready. Get your hands on my bloody bowl of bloody porridge. I'm gonna go outside. Okay. But the porridge. He's holding the porridge in his hand and he just walks outside. Well, I'm gonna tuck in to my food. He's like, yeah. And Tuck is like, I, yeah, I'm gonna too. I'm gonna take a big one.

I'll love some porridge. And about 20 minutes later, Perel comes back in. Still kind of, still kind of bloody, but the blood's not on his face anymore. He doesn't have the oatmeal with him, but he has an empty bowl. Oh, nice. Yeah. He definitely scooped it overboard. He definitely did. He wouldn't eat it. So, what else happened out there? We got, wake her back. Oh, yeah, the cat. Yeah, I saw, that's exciting. I saw we're on a boat. That's insane. We're on a boat now. We got the clear water back.

Very cool. I saw Maggie running around. We're headed up north. Yeah. With the help of the Thunderbirds. Yeah, that was the, that was the initial plan. And then we're on a boat and Tuck got married and stabbed. Yeah. Okay. So, we're just heading north. Still the plan. Go to the glacier. Mm-hmm. What did you figure out? Weren't you going to figure something out? Yeah, we talked about it. What was it? It was that I thought Morris was in here. Oh, yeah.

And then the danger room opened because we found the safe. Uh-huh. There was a letter. Right. Did you read the letter? Yeah. And? None of your business. Okay. Fair, but, it's, it's, an, it's kind of an apology. Oh. And, I mean, uh, I, I think we talked about it. He, he kind of got wrapped up in the wizard's first stuff. Became like a pretty key player in the, um, the, uh, extra planar evacuation project. Waywalking. Yeah. That's what Tuck does. He goes, he goes, waywalking.

Yeah, I mean, he looks like, where's that come from? I mean, I mean, look, I, it is, it's, it is, it is an academic, he goes to a window or hole. Yeah, it is, it is an academic thing, so I really don't want to be an asshole, but it's not strictly waywalking. Remember, waywalking is a portion of it. Morris was kind of involved in the waywalking part of it, but kind of more involved in the, uh, extra planar construction part of it. Wow.

So, yeah, it was the, the, uh, the extraplanar evacuation project was the name that got thrown around a lot okay um but yeah so that sucked uh when he started getting involved in that we tried to convince him not to leave and then he was just gone one day and we thought that he didn't say goodbye but he did he just kept it in the fanny pack which is insane oh I get it now so this is oh my god it makes so much more sense this is not the safe for the fanny pack this was this is mortis's all safe what what's that this is a safe it's a safe that he made that existed in many places oh so this just ended up okay so does that mean that you can get to other places through the safe as a lifeless corpse yes oh does it kill you if you go in it does it kill you if you enter an airtight space for an extended period of time he says yes there's only one way to find that no he takes his shirt off for some reason I I'm sorry that it took me so long to connect the dots but yeah this is the all so so so so so I so I'm sorry so okay that makes sense so he put this somewhere that he expected us to find it we didn't and then everything went to hell oh yeah so you know it was nice I guess to read this I am still angry because I mean saying sorry that I left doesn't mean that I didn't leave you know what I mean yeah it's a confusing bit of closure yeah so or here counter proposal maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe!

Maybe! It in a personal safe. Yeah. And expecting, but then why didn't he destroy it? Maybe he lived unexpectedly. Yeah, no, that actually does make a lot of sense. Maybe he wrote it thinking he was going to leave, but then changed his mind because he never sent it or couldn't. Something happened to him before he sent it. Yeah. Oh my god, maybe something happened to him. Yeah. Oh my god. Maybe he just fucking died. No! Whoa, seriously. That could have happened. People die all the time.

Or, because I didn't notice how sad Peral's looking, he could have lived. He might just be on vacation for a really long time, or maybe he had to leave unexpectedly from his original plans. He sits down on the chaise lounge, which was destroyed, but he's trying to fix it. And he just kind of puts his head in his hands. There's so many books underneath it. Yeah, it is stacked up with a lot of books. Wow.

I was feeling kind of confused emotionally about this letter before you guys came in, and now I'm feeling confused about everything, because Morris could be alive, or he might be dead, or he could be anywhere, or he could be nowhere, or something might have happened to him. I have to talk to Aquaria about this. Well, I mean, here, I do have a question, just in general, about all of this. Because this, if Morris had to leave unexpectedly, if he was like the head of like the Exodus project.

He's not. Okay. Again, it was like a, it was a large undertaking by many wizards. Whatever. If he was like involved in it. Yeah. And Billy, what the fuck? Dude. I'm sorry, she just came at me. I ate really fast. I'm so sorry. You put too much cinnamon in the porridge. That's what it was. Oh, well, thanks. Maybe you can cook it next time if you don't like my cooking. You know we're trying to let him do things on his own. I know, and it was good porridge. It was better than last time.

Last time there was all raisins? Yeah. Yes. He called it porridge, but it was a bowl of raisins. So much raisins. Hot raisins. Billy goes to sit in the cupboard. Oh, no. Not the cupboard. He closes it, leaves it open a little bit, just so he can hear. Uh-huh. Little eye in the darkness. Okay, so here's my question. So Morris was involved in this project. Yep. There's a good chance that he wasn't, he hadn't totally decided to leave. Uh-huh.

There's a good chance he had to leave maybe really quick or something. There's a good chance that he was conflicted about what to do with his life. Sure. But what the fuck happened right before the exodus? Do you know? What do you mean? Like… So you're sitting there. Yeah. It's not the exodus. Okay. All of a sudden it is the exodus. Right. What happened then? We've talked about this. It wasn't an event. The exodus was a series of events that took place over a number of years. For you. For me?

I… Was gone by that point. I'd gone back to the riverways. I'd gone back to my tower. And my plan was you know, some people had already started leaving. And I noticed, me and some colleagues, Aquaria, I and some other wizards had noticed that the leaving, the hot spots that were left behind was causing havoc on the material plane. So I'd gone back to my tower to do some research.

And then like I said, wizards live a long time and we count our time a little differently than maybe other people do. So this was probably a couple years that I was away. And by the time things got really bad, all of a sudden, bing bang boom, people outside my tower, whoopsie doopsie, I'm in a box. But do you know like what could have happened that would have made… Because Mars isn't going to just leave unexpectedly unless it's a fucking disaster. Yeah. So what could it have been?

I wish I could answer that question. Billy pops his lips out so it's like this. He's like, maybe at our neck all water will know. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, she might. And then he sticks his head out more. I'm so mad. Yeah, I thought you were in your cupboard. I am. And this is assuming that Adternack is there because we're actually just looking for a box that may or may not contain the spirit. I bet she's there. I mean, maybe. And he goes into the cupboard. She's there. She's there. There.

Yeah, speaking of which, should we like, we're sailing now, but should we take the Thunderbirds? I think so. It'd be way faster. We don't have to go through the Jaws. Let's do it. Yeah, I guess what we just… Oh, well, we've passed the Jaws because they were back where Victoria was when we started. No, no, no. We missed the Jaws? No. How big are they? Well, the Jaws is like an ice field, remember? Oh. Yeah, so it's like a field of… I thought it was like…

No, no, it's like an ice field that you have to pass through and it's very treacherous. Oh, okay. But if we can take the birds we can fly over it. What if we drop the clear water off at Old Shear? Well, just like, bye-bye. Yeah. I think Old Shear is the place that you're past. Damn it. Yeah, but I mean, there's probably like, you know, a cove somewhere that you can hide it. We can probably, yeah. Oh, yeah. Ving knows a cove. Where is it? Billy comes out. He's not mad anymore. He's too curious.

Yeah. 2d6 plus intelligence for a Spout Lore. This is a cove from the past. Oh, come on, man. This cove was created millions of years ago geologically. I got eight. Eight. So interesting but not useful. Lay it on me. Oh, yeah, the cove. There's a geothermal vent. There's a bay that has volcanic vents that come up. It's called the Goblin's Bath. And people back in the day, kids would go there for northern spring break. There's nothing set up, but it's a real slog to get there by land.

But in the winter, you could go do, we would take our ice racers up there. And yeah, you could get there. You take the ice racers up there, you get fucking wasted. You get led. It's a blast. So is it like a really tiny resort sort of? No, there's no buildings. No, no, no. You go up there and you build ice huts and everything. You'd have to bring everything up yourself. That's cool. There's nothing up there.

But what is up there and the reason it's called the Goblin's Bath is goblins, as we all know, being cold-blooded and needing heat to survive, there is a kind of arctic goblin that lives in and around the baths because they need the thermal waters. Cool. So they're attracted to it. They're like those monkeys that sit in the pools. And I think these ones, they're like kind of repto mammals in a way.

So they have like, fur because it's so cold up here that they're furry, but also reptilian and they just like sit in the baths with their like furry little reptile ears. Like bats? Frosty little mustache. Yeah, like bats. And maybe they actually do have like bat-like noses and stuff like that to sniff fur things on the cold arctic winds. Yeah. So there's little enclaves of like arctic goblins up here. Because of the heat, like it has this unique oceanic climate. Yeah, exactly. A microclimate.

Okay. You go and you share this with Maggie. And it is like, it's gonna be a little bit, it's gonna be like maybe a day. Maggie goes, alright, that sounds perfect. We can set her in there. Hide her away. We can leave the crew. I think the people on this boat, we got some trustworthy folk. That Eric kid was a real cad when we grabbed him, but he seems like he knows what's up. Bruno wildcard. Yeah. Not in terms of the danger to us, but in terms of the danger to himself.

And then we got some others, but we should be fine. Are we doing like a perilous journey or whatever? Yeah, I guess so. To kind of see if we see anything or find anything on the way. Because there are unfortunately still few enough people that you guys are required to do actual jobs on the boat. Fuck. Yeah. Billy's been given the job of coiling ropes that are like as thick around as his neck, basically. He's like, can I just do the floor washing? It's so much easier.

Billy, I'm trying to challenge you. But my arms are so tired. Okay. All right. Fine. You can clean. And she gives you a sponge that's basically as big as your body. Yes. And so Billy like is pushing it around the deck, like running. Walking back and forth pushing a sponge. Perfect. So we're going to need some, I mean, Billy's busy cleaning the deck with a sponge. It's going to take him all day because he needs to walk the length of this ship.

So someone's going to have to scout and someone's going to have to navigate. I don't think we, I mean, I thought the birds are pulling us still. Yeah. The birds are still pulling you. So don't they navigate? Yeah. Because Ving's just like, you know, head for the steam on the horizon. Yeah. Go for the devil's lab, yeah, or whatever. Cloud Piercer's like, fear not, Ving. Rest well on this boat. I will guide us ahead.

And Gale, who pushes her way into your mental connection, goes, yeah, don't worry, Ving. We've got it under control. Whoa, what the fuck? I just thought I wanted to be involved in your conversation. That's fine. You're allowed in here just a little bit of like… Consent before you enter somebody's mind is usually typically the way the spirit animal connections go. And her mental connection is so much louder than Cloud Piercer's. Yes, it's like, can I, you just turn that down.

Ving, can you hear me? Yes, I can hear you very well. Ving, can you hear my mind? You don't need, your mind is louder than your person. I'm connecting to your mind now, Ving. I, you hear, do you hear me? Give me an affirmative if you can hear me. Affirmative. In your mind. She basically hasn't pulled her thumb off of the button on the walkie-talkie. Oh my god. Gail, you need to, um, Cloud Piercer, I'm, okay, I'm gonna walk you, I'm gonna try and walk you through this.

I need you to take Gail's thumb uh, beezor, tap it twice, and then rub it three times, counterclockwise to try and get her to get to the settings menu. Yes, exactly. You're gonna go to audio and video. And then you hear Gail go, Ving, have you ever heard a song that goes ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba I cannot be connected to Gail's mind It's stuck in my head. He's like, wait, no, actually, this is, okay, no, no, I, this is actually, I'm really close. Do it again.

Uh, and they figure out a way, like, alright, yeah, we're gonna we'll head to, uh, Goblin's Balls and, yeah. Maybe that's the navigate for Ving. Is trying to get Gail and Cloud Piercer to deal with this conversation. Alright, then I guess Ving is gonna have to navigate. Okay, that's fine. Uh, and Tuck is given the option of scouting ahead. Yeah, man, I'll scout. Okay, alright. Uh, eight. Uh, eight.

On a seven to nine, I choose one from the list below, which is you happen upon a discovery, the going is slow, or you encounter a danger. And Tuck. Uh, yes. Two to six plus wisdom to scout ahead. Okay. Okay, minus one is eight. Alright, so you get to choose one. You get to drop on whatever lies ahead, discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain, make a discovery, or notice a danger. Um, I kinda wanna discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain. Okay, yeah. Define this, this fjord. Yeah, totally.

So you are looking at the coastline one day as you've been given the job of moving a barrel from one part of the ship to the other. Okay. And then back again. Cause Maggie was like, this is the only thing that will keep them occupied. Tuck, I just really need to make sure that you know that this barrel needs to go all over the ship. It's like, it's an old sailor superstition. Okay, Maggie. This barrel's full of salt cod. Ooh. And we have to make offerings to the gods and spirits of the sea.

Okay. So take it to each corner of the boat to make sure the entire boat has been blessed. And then Tuck goes, I appreciate you trusting me with such an important task. And you begin moving a barrel from one corner of the ship to the other corner of the ship to the next. I said, I shall smudge this cod across this boat. But as you're like looking at the coastline, you're seeing like, pillars of, of smoke and steam, like from various settlements. Oh, cool. Or natural formations.

And uh, as a street kid, you've seen a lot of chimneys in your time. Oh, yeah. And you see one billowing cloud in the distance and you're like, that's gotta be steam. Uh-huh. And you realize that there is like a series of thermal vents along the coastline. And if you follow these fjords, you can basically get inland faster and then trace your way through different, like, fjord networks to the goblin's bath. They follow a fault line that's along the ocean floor. Oh! Yeah, exactly.

Uh, and Ving, you communicate that to, uh, Gale and Cloud Piercer, and Cloud Piercer is like, ah, perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. He's, him and Ving have been sharing a mind too long. Uh, yeah. Dumb. It's not even full sentences anymore. It's just perfect. Perfect. Fly now. Good. Goodbye. On track. Ving, did you get that message? I sent you earlier. There's this other song that I was thinking about. It goes like, It's, um, Me and Julio Down by the Ice Race. I don't think that's it, Ving.

It is. Listen again. It goes, It's Me and Julio Down by the Ice Race. I really don't think that's it. One more time. It has that little, yeah. Uh, and so the, the navigate. I get to choose one, but let's all choose it together. So you happen upon a discovery missed by the scout. The going is slow. So you wander off course. The GM says which and where you end up on the map or you encounter a danger. Those are the three. Discovery, danger, takes a long time. I say discovery. Yeah. Discovery?

Yeah, discovery. You know what that means? Get out your D12s, fuckers. We're rolling on the tables. Okay, so roll it. Two. Nine. Four. Interesting. Okay. So it actually worked out perfectly. You rolled for natural feature. Jessica rolled for water feature within natural feature. And Paul rolled for creek slash stream slash brook. Yeah, so this fault line, maybe it's really deep and there are underwater caves. Oh, yeah.

So you're like the water's so clear up here too that if you look below, you can see the bubbles from the fault lines and the thermal vents like bubbling up, but you can see them being swept away into underwater passages. And it's mostly just like a very interesting visual effect. It's really pretty. Oh, and there's like algae in there that's bioluminescent. Oh, so there's like whorls of glowing blue algae. Blues, greens, pinks. Very pretty. Wow, Billy's like staring. Oh, it's the boiling aurora.

Oh, the boiling aurora. What do they say about the boiling aurora? They're saying they're people call them they call them the sirens of the north because the beauty will draw people are hypnotized by it and they will draw you into the deep. So looking at the colors and the patterns for too long. That's true. I guess like you're safe on a ship, but if you try to swim in these waters because of all the different currents, they'll suck you under into one of the caves. Yeah.

And you see there are people like, looking over the side. Whoa, Bruno. Whoa, it's fucking trippy as fuck down there. It would be kind of cool if like the water's so clear you can see into the caves and then because of the way the currents work, you can see like all of the stuff that's been sucked in there. So there's like gold and gems. Also bones. Yeah, so many bones. So treasure is a siren. Pieces of ships. Old, yeah, vessels and all that stuff.

So yeah, all this like a bunch of sailors are going to the edge of the boat. I mean the small small crew that you have because you're being pulled by two huge birds, but they're like there's treasure like there. It's like the kind of thing that you're like we're so close to right there. A fortune so big and it's like because that effect that the water has where it's like it makes everything look closer. People are just like we could we could if we just found a way to get down there.

It's not even that deep like that's the really allure. It's like I could hold my breath for that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but the water is boiling so much. Don't do it. Do it. Oh, but I want to do it so bad Billy. Yeah, but look at all the bones. Yeah people before who couldn't get out and they want to do the same thing you want to do right now. Yeah, weak people. No, I don't think so. I'm strong Bruno. I was able to defeat you twice with a stool. Yeah, look at you. You're huge though. You're huge.

That's not fair. I'm going to do it. It's walking up to the edge of the boat. My God. No, he starts walking to the edge. I spear tackle Bruna. All right, 2d6 plus straight. Nine. Oh, I'll aid. Yes, I can't. I'm dragging a rope. The thick rope. Uh-huh. Two to six was bond nine. Okay, so it's a 1010. So Billy and tuck restrain Bruno. No, let me go. I want to get the treasure Bruno. I saw a sick-ass fucking helmet down there. I look so cool in it. It's probably like a billion years old.

We'll get you a different helmet later. I wanted that home Bruno. Sometimes you don't get what you want. I thought being could turn into fucking elemental Freaks and flip around and swim and shit. Hey now and I slap him. Okay, have some humility. Have some fucking respect. Absolutely right Billy. I don't know what I was thinking. Do you want to be in there like a bag of bones? Should we have left you on the boat with Victoria? LeBlanc?

No, we didn't save you just so you could fucking die in a fucking weird treasure crevasse. Okay, fine. Go downstairs. Take care of your business. Okay, but just before I go and check off and go to sleep. I just want to say one more thing what thing can turn into elemental forms that allow him to swim. All right, fine. And then we turn and we talk to Ving. We're like, can you go down there and get some shit? You got to get some shit. You got to get some shit.

You guys the treasures getting to you. These are magical waters. I'm not going in there. We are being a little bit of it. Yeah guys come with me and just slowly like puts his arm around them walks him away from the edge of the boat and Billy's looking over again. Like I guess that is a pretty cool helmet. Yeah, he's gonna try to switch your room. Oh, yeah. Cloak. What are you trying to switcheroo it with? I don't know. I guess this scrub brush for the deck. What the fuck? All right. Try it.

It's just trying to sponge read. Squish. Switcheroo again. It's been a long time. So switcheroo basically like I can it's what it sounds like like I take one object and I can switch places with another object using that object. Right? Yes. All right, and you can switch the materials of objects. Yeah. Yeah, it's 2d6 plus charisma on a seven to nine. I pick one of three where the effect works for all last for a long time and I keep control on 10 plus works a hundred percent. Mm-hmm.

And I'm standing next to Billy. Yeah. And I'm like, which one are you going to go for? Definitely the helmet. The helmet. Cool. Cool. Cool. No, if he behaves and tuck is like cool. Cool. Cool. What do you want? Nothing? No, I don't care. You get the helmet. It's your thing. Is it nothing? What is it? Tuck is like he's eyeing his shapely Gord. Yeah, Tuck's eyeing a shapely Gord. That's the golden gourd. Aren't you shapely decorative? Golden Gord? Yeah.

I think your love of Gord's is getting us in trouble. That is a an eight. Okay. So on the seven to nine, I can choose one of the three of effect works for all last for a long time or I keep control. I think I'd like to keep control. It wait. So on a hit that means that you still do it. I still do it but it doesn't last for a long time and it won't work for all. Okay. So you are looking. You're holding the scrub brush in your hands. You're looking at this glittering helmet and blink of an eye.

Nobody even sees it happen. All of a sudden Billy's holding exactly this. What does this helmet look like? I imagine it's like pointed like it's like, you know, those like it's like pointed and has like wings like yeah, sure. It's got wings on the side and then like scales or like chain kind of hanging from the back like to protect the dragon like yeah. Yeah, it's like pointy. And the wings are pointy like a dragon wings and then it's got a maybe like it's like a head or a tail on top. Cool.

Yeah. Oh, maybe it's like a features of like claws on either side of the head. Like it's an open mouth. Yeah, maybe this is something that we the authors of this world would recognize as a piece of armor from the white cloud mountains. That's what I was thinking too. Whoa. So yeah, he's holding it like I don't even want to give it to Bruno now. Don't there's there's a there's a motif on the helmet.

That you can tell it's only half of the helmet is carved, but you could tell that the carvings describe every battle that this helmet has been through. That's why it's only half carved because it was lost before the end of the person's life. That's cool. And the skills are all made out of coins with squares in the middle. Coins from the white cloud mountain. Cool. Hold up to Vang. Can you read this? Yeah. No, you can't check it. I ever wait. But I have bardic lore for history.

Yeah, you could maybe learn something about it, but I'm not sure that you'd be able to read this language for context for people who don't have the access to the outlander stuff. The white cloud mountains are the white cloud mountains are basically like a mountainous territory. Very north of McCall and it's separated by a huge desert as a pretty bare landscape, but they grow tea. It's the home of a lot. Dragons and people who came from Hibernia. Yeah, and it's a very isolated. Place.

You know what? We can get a red pony. I had a nerd on this boat. Yeah, and Burrell comes huffing. I heard something about reading. Reading. I heard somebody say you needed a nerd and who can read. I'm both of those things. He's running and he does the thing that kids do where they run too fast. They trip over his own clothes slams into the ground. Wait. We might as well spell lower about this helmet. Yeah, to the intelligence. No wisdom because it's all right. Yes. Nice eight. Perfect.

Seven nine interesting but useful interesting but not useful. Nice. So you are looking at this with a combination of Perel trying to translate a language. I look I knew a wizard from the white cloud mountains, but I didn't ever learn the language. So I know some but not enough to be able to read it. So it's I think we can figure it out and you all kind of sit around. With this helmet kind of you're all sitting cross-legged on the deck.

Perel's got it in his lap and he's bouncing stuff off being who's heard stories and cetera and one of the battles describes like a group of dragon riders basically riding out to defend the mountains from a great dragon who had become corrupted by what? I mean gold. Or I mean, these are just things that are usually treasure erupted dragons. Maybe the dragons because the white cloud mountains are on the same continent as McCall, right? Maybe that dragon got corrupted by an icon. Mmm. Could be.

Yeah. Wow. Absolutely. A demon dragon. Yeah. Yeah. My God. It's the only time it's ever happened. Yeah. So you guys are like he was an obsidian dragon. Cool. And pearls like whoa wait. So does that mean that the dragon? Was. Possessed? This sounds like an icon possessed by a force. That's so weird though because icons are like a human thing. But dragons have legs like sapient intelligence. Yeah. I mean if dragons are sapient, which I don't think I've ever really considered. They totally are.

What? What do you mean? Well, we told you about Black Spire. Oh, right. Yeah. So now that I mean like yeah, it's dragons are sapient. The icons are reflections or. The origin of sapient thought and concept. Yeah. I mean. There are so many other beings out there. That are possessed and we're not thinking about it. Yeah, that's a great point Billy.

I mean iconography was never really my thing but it stands to reason that any sapient being could be possessed by an icon and that is an absolutely terrifying thought. It's going over my head now. And then. At this point. We all look over at wicker. She's sharpening a knife. Her eyes glow red. Yeah. Now she in reality wicker is curled up on a coil of rope with a little fabric mouse in her teeth. And all of a sudden Perel is hands are soaked and he's holding a scrub brush in his hands. No.

What the fuck happened? And then we all realize that Perel is holding a chore basically. And we get up and run away. What? No, wait. Oh. Dan's not it. Fuck. Scrubs. Scrubs. Scrubs. He starts scrubbing the deck. That was one of the things right Billy's thing wasn't going to last for a long time. Yeah. Okay. And the ship carries on a little bit of fun lore to pass the time and later the next day you leave.

A final stretch of Fjord and enter the hot summer vacation locale that thing remembers from his youth. The Goblins bath. It is a wide thermal Lake with that sort of like blue green milky milky looking water like rich in minerals and you can feel the temperature change. As you enter this kind of Bay Perel's got his summer clothes on. Yeah. He is just like we. It is a hot one today. Blue zinc on his nose. Yeah.

And you look out onto the Goblins bath and see mast in the water and along the shore hundreds and hundreds of Arctic goblins and Ving suddenly recalls why people never came to the Goblins bath at this time of year. It's mating season. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master. Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian Abdul Aziz. So long. Playing Ving, the half elf druid, Paul Hoppers. What? Bye.

Playing Matt Billy, the half link thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reed of Vancouver Sunday Service for our intro and outro music, which you can find at soundcloud.com. And you can find Aaron's original music at aaronreed.bandcamp.com. Thank you to all of our Patreons, the supporters for supporting the show. If you want to support us, please go to our Patreon page, which is at soundcloud.com.

And if you want to support us, please go to our Patreon page, which is at soundcloud.com. Play a few hits of L.A. At soundcloud.com and you can find Aaron's original music at aaronreid.bandcamp.com Thank you to all of our Patreon supporters for supporting the show. If you want to support Spout Lore and get access to bonus content, Blades in the Dark game, merch, gifts, streams, a whole whack of shit, check us out at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or speltlore.com slash money please.

And thank you to Kelly and Kelly Creative in Vancouver for letting us use their incredible recording space this weekend. It has been such a treat. And thank you finally to you for listening. See you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution.

Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore.

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It's good bonus content I work really fucking hard on it Now the round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore I'm here to tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz Hello everybody Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers Hello everybody And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai Hello everyone When last we left our heroes, the battle was joined The crew of the White Knight, led by notorious privateer Victoria Leblanche Attacked the crew after they were informed that in fact they would not be allowed to leave the ship The fight went about as well as you could expect Because Tuck is a monster And Ving and Billy are supportive monsters You're all very frightening combatants Tuck removed his loincloth Said it was tacky As a button to being divorced It was like your divorce move It was my war cry actually This is fucking tacky Also known as declaration of war Declaration of divorce Yeah Billy definitely destroyed some people with his powerful throwing arm Yeah As is his way Ving made the playing field a little more hazardous for the crew And things ended with Victoria Leblanche kind of hung by her wrists Yeah By Ving And then Billy removed a memory from Victoria Leblanche Further illustrating the fact that when I created the lightning in a bottle move I did not realize that it was in fact the know what everybody's thinking So the memory was removed from Victoria Leblanche Revealing that she had been hired by the princeps of the firefields principality To recover a weapon of some kind from the vault To tip the war in the principalities in his favor The crew then made their escape Hopping onto the clear water With the help of Thunderbirds, Cloudpiercer, and Gale Destroying the White Knight to the point where the ship is definitely sinking Mm-hmm And escaping into the icy waters of the frozen north After some sailing Ving revealed that he knew the location of a place called the Goblin's Bath Mm-hmm Which is some sort of thermally fed bay That might be an adequate place to hide the clear water As the crew takes Or as the party Not the crew Mm-hmm Takes the Thunderbirds to Adderneck All Waters Glacier Mm-hmm They traveled through some icy fjords Seeing treasure glittering at the bottom Revealing a series of Mm-hmm Sub-aquatic tunnels that have been the death of many sailors throughout time Mm-hmm And then sometime later With the Thunderbirds pulling the clear water through the fjords We arrived at the Goblin's Bath to find Hundreds of Arctic Goblins All engaged in that beautiful time Known as mating season That is where we find our heroes now You're standing on the deck of the clear water On the shore Imagine Okay So imagine you're looking for a hero Mm-hmm You're on the clear water Beautiful glittering water around you Yeah To your right Snow fields That descend into a black rocky shore With like black volcanic sand And then up the other side of the bay Is like jagged hills So there's rocks on one side And then a black sand beach on the other And it's all covered in goblins Just horny goblins Imagine If you will 2007 Daytona Beach Mm-hmm Spring break Exactly It's got a very club med sort of vibe A little bit They don't even see us They don't even notice that we're there Yeah Like we came upon them doing their thing Yeah Yeah And it is There is definitely At least you can assume some mating happening Mm-hmm By the sounds, yes Yeah But there does Beneath the water there is a frenzy of activity Beneath the water That's a naturalist I don't know I don't know There's a problem There's a problem Anyways, what do you do?

There are hundreds and hundreds of goblins covering the shore, swimming in the water, climbing up the cliffs, jumping off. You hear like, whoa, there's a cliff diving going on. Yeah. I guess we got to Spout Lore about goblins. Yeah. Specific one. About arctic goblins. Yeah. I'll do it. I would love for you to do that because I've been thinking about them a lot. So goblins, all we know is that they're like a reptilian species. And they've spoken in the past, like not human.

At least, yeah, the ones that you met just outside Mudlark in the swamps were like pretty like gnarly, venomous, gross goblins. Two legs. Two legs. They're all bipedal. Yeah. They kind of look like gremlins. Yeah. Pin like teeth. Yeah. They have like sharp needle teeth. Great. And then the ones in McCall we know are a little more cosmopolitan. Oh, right. Because like the one that like at least we met in the Brent episode in Brent's Revenge. Yeah.

He had like a little mustache and he wore a wig and clothes and he spoke common. Oh, yeah. And he ran a junk shop or something like that. Well, he ran a junk shop that was a landfill. Yeah. The goblin market is like scavenged stuff. So they have a lot of capacity. Yeah. Yeah. They're varied. They're a varied species. Arctic goblins are totally different. Cool. Yeah. 2D6 plus intelligence to Spout Lore. Right. I got six. Six. Six. What? Because I have a minus one to my intelligence.

Oh, beautiful. It rolled a seven. Beautiful. Okay. I can aid. Okay. So I'm going to aid by using my bardic knowledge because I know a lot of different albums about goblins and written by goblins. Oh, yeah. I was a roadie for a goblin band for a while. Yeah. Okay. Seven. Okay. Beautiful. Seven. So that makes yours a seven. Great. Which means you get something interesting but not useful. Thank you. So here's the thing.

I'm talking about Arctic goblins that I stole from another reptile, the aquatic iguana. Yes. So they live in and around the water. They spend a lot of time in their thermal springs. So mostly what they eat is like sea grasses and like shellfish and stuff like that. Cool. Crabs. Crabs. Yeah. Whatever is around fish, whatever they got. But because of that, and part of the reason their noses are so flared is they have a lot of salt in their bodies. Oh. Yeah. So to counteract that, they expel.

They expel the salt from their nose, which gathers on top of their heads and creates like crowns of salt. So they look like Guy Fieri. Oh my God. The middle-aged ones do for sure. The younger ones kind of have a faux hawk and then the middle-aged ones look like Guy Fieri. Salt and pepper. Yeah. But it leads that like old goblins have these like elaborate salt crowns on their heads. Cool. And you can mark out the elders by these like massive crowns. Yeah.

And they look like those hot spring monkeys mixed with a bat mixed with a. Iguana. Iguana. Mixed with Guy Fieri. Mixed with Guy Fieri. I feel like there's maybe a lot of like really brightly colored Hawaiian shirts happening. Yes. I can't get my brain out of Daytona. Daytona spring break. Yeah. Well, it's not. It's like we've talked about how the ones in the principalities, at least some of them are brightly colored because they're like venomous. Mm-hmm. Which is also probably a separate thing.

Yeah. But they're also like secondary like sexual characteristic. Characteristic. Yeah. To like attract mates. But these guys don't have that. So they probably do adorn themselves in colorful fabrics. Yeah. To try and attract mates. I wonder if they're, I don't know, like coral reeds. Oh, yeah. And stuff like that. Or like seaweed. Or they gather shell necklaces. Yeah. They gather coral and weeds. Yeah. And different things from the sea floor. And then they adorn themselves in that.

And they'll also grab stuff from like that treasure trove river. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because they can survive in the water probably. They're wearing a lot of rings. Yeah. They're wearing a lot of rings. Yeah. They have a lot of gold bracelets and chains. And helmets. Yeah. It is perfect. Yeah. So they are very, especially during mating season, they're all, the males especially are like completely decked out.

So you see glittering on the shoreline as well in a bunch of like colorful sea life and grasses and just hear a lot of yelling and giggling and screaming. Hey, baby, come up here. We got something for you. We got a hot tub on the roof here. This whole thing's a hot tub, you fucking loser. Don't be like that. It's just the Jersey Shore. Exactly. What do you do? Do we like try to talk to them? I know. I was thinking like, could we, like, they know this area very well. Yeah.

Because since they know the area so well, and since they're going to be here anyway, we can be like, hey, can you hide this ship? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Ever been to cape canaveral we were thinking of going to see the space shuttle we can film goblins gone wild here yeah so what do you guys do like perel and maggie are on the boat and they're just like perel especially is like I'm staying out of this yeah not interested I just want to I want to know if they're safe to talk to you and if they're and like what how I should talk to them to befriend them oh yeah yeah so go for it 2d6 plus wisdom to discern realities holy crap okay 13 okay yeah so now I get three questions from discern realities which is how to be cool um okay what is useful or valuable to me what is useful or valuable here uh so you're I assume scanning like the shore with your binoculars and you just see a absolute shit ton of goblins having the time of their lives they're playing volleyball they're they're skimboarding uh these are things that are like those are in our world uh what is volleyball to a goblin so volleyball is um there are two teams 15 aside everybody gets a rock and they all send volley after volley at each other and you can't move yeah and the last one standing that team wins that's that is a goblin game for sure and skim boarding is skimboarding yeah it's a little board you skim it off the board on the shore uh so you're scanning and you're seeing all these young goblins having a blast and you see two goblins looks like it looks like a man and a woman both of them have really elaborate crowns really tall crowns of salt and then the guy is like kind of chunky and absolutely covered in like seaweed and kelp necklaces covered in coral okay and the woman is all got like a ton of rings and what looks to be like an actual amulet and these these look like an older like male and female goblin cool cool the guy has a bunch of tattoos yeah his his fur on his arms has been painted that's cool yeah oh god I like that it says mom I mean I guess you kind of answered it but like who's really in control here oh uh yeah it seems to be these two yeah this is like everybody's grandma and grandpa right and we're all doing our thing so so they're fucking I got it I got I want to be clear for myself because I think it's weird there's not like a ton of open fucking going on it's mostly partying is it like the thing where it's like you go to like the change room at the beach exactly it's sneaky actually here's a great answer to that billy sees behind on the like the planes the snow planes that go up you see a bunch of like burrows dug into the snow and tuck is says that he like looks with binoculars and he's like yeah there's not a ton of open fucking happening here I looked really hard you're looking longer than I was I wasn't looking for that he smashes the binoculars these are fucking useless and pharrell gets mad because those were his bird watching binoculars and then he pulls out opera binoculars it's like I have to use these now my backup ones don't smash these because I'm not going to be able to do it I'm going to be able to do it I'm going to be able to do it I'm going to be able to do it I'm going to be able to do it three other pairs okay what should I be on the lookout for I think the thing that ving mentioned about how nobody comes here yeah is the thing to be on the lookout for this feels like isolated in that in the area for sure nobody comes here during mating season I feel like a lot of people come here during mating season a lot of goblins come here during the mating season did you pick that up did you guys do we pick that high five yeah it was really loud so if you wanted to hide the boat here this seems like a good idea I think we should go to the boat here this seems like a good idea I think we should go to the boat here this seems like a good idea I think we should go like a good place cool yeah gonna wave at the uh the old couple and you see the guy like raises his hand and he's like hi there did you bring the cocaine my my name is fat billy you're pretty far away there fat billy okay I'll come closer yeah come on we're all having a good time up here it's probably fine if I walk alone no we're gonna come with you yeah we're all I think we're gonna come with you yeah we're all having a good time up here run the ship uh into the sand I'm gonna try and ground it and maggie pushes you away from the wheel because well we could we'll take care of this you guys go ashore and you go deal with that but you don't need to ground my ship how else are we gonna get ashore maybe one of the rowboats oh okay I thought this was just for sleeping it's pretty rock star to show up and drive a boat into the sand and jump off at spring break oh fuck no he's right man maggie that would be the kings of spring break if we did that whoa but do we want to like become rivals with the kings of spring break current kings of spring break no no yeah oh what do we do this is a great dilemma yeah this is the most pressing dilemma you've ever faced maggie's luring the rowboat yeah I was gonna say smash cut to you in the rowboat with maggie we're still arguing with her like they put us in there maggie we need the boat we need the boat to be kings of spring break sploosh you're in the water maggie's at the top of the boat having lowered you in a rowboat all right have fun uh can can can she lower us some grog before we go ashore I want to bring a gift yeah yeah yeah she yeah she lowers down a little crate of bottles great no ed tuck made a trade with bruno before we left where he bought a little bit of cocaine from a guy halfway white powder oh my god nice uh yeah so you're in the boat and you're in the boat and you're in the boat and you're in the boat and you're You're in the boat and you got some liquor.

Are you guys still going to try and beach the boat in the coolest way possible? I'm going to row as fast as I can. Maybe Tuck can help. I can help too. I can take the other side. So that we can land and I'll jump off the front. Bailey, are you into this plan? I'm so into it. Okay. 2d6 plus strength, I guess. Yeah. Nine. Eleven. Nine. All right. Pretty good. Can I aid him? Yep. All right. I'm going to do that. Yeah. I'm going to aid him with also my charisma. Oof. Ooh. Oh. 12. All right. Nice.

So 12, 10, and 11. So tell me what you guys are all doing. Tuck is like fucking reefing on it, rowing like crazy. It looks like we're basically in a speedboat. Uh-huh. Yeah. Billy is singing a rowing song. Yeah. What does that sound like? Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. And then you slam into the sand. Launch.

Slow. Yeah. All three of you launched out of the boat. You've got a crate of bottles in your hands. Coming out. Pull them out. Ving's got two in his hands. In midair, in front of the sun. Pops the bottles. Two corks out at once. Amazing. Yeah. And goblins all around scatter as this boat slams. Into the shore. Yes. People. Giants. Launch. Flying at them with their wares. And you hit the sand. Bottles in hand. You do a cool pose, I assume. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You do an anime slide into the. Yeah.

Yeah. There's silence. And then a huge cheer. Whoa. Whoa. Oh my God. Goblins run up and start like patting you. Like on the legs because you're too tall. Because they're looking for cocaine. Adding us down for drugs. They might be trying to stop you. They might try to steal from you. It's hard to say. I'm handing out bottles. Yeah. It doesn't take long because you only had like nine. I had three. Do they pick us up and like crowd surface? Yeah. But you're two feet off the ground.

We're lower than if we were walking. Yeah. Exactly. But Billy is higher than he's ever been. Yeah. It's crazy. I can't believe this is what it looks like to you guys. The world is so big and so wide. And they carry you over to these two older goblins. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Pile to make them look like they're hanging out in these deck chairs and uh they're like oh hey there thanks for coming by good to meet some new friends oh it's so nice to meet some new friends come on take a seat by the water hello my name is ving oh hello ving hey buddy good to see you who are you big guy I'm tuck and this is halfling white powder okay I don't know what that is but thanks for bringing it by it's a stimulant well it might be a stimulant to you big guy but you don't know goblin physiology and he takes it he puts it in his mouth he's like oh that bouquet is so nice oh midge you know that feeling that I'm getting in my bones I don't know what this is midge is his wife's name yeah midge is the wife the guy's name is uh bob those are the parents from you know the guy's name is uh bob those are the parents from that 70s show bob and midge it's happening so I'm bob this is midge and we love coming to goblins bath and we're really glad to have you folks here what can we do for you oh no I mean not not a whole lot just you know we don't want to interrupt and we just wanted to come say hi and bring some gifts because we're passing through oh it's nothing to interrupt with look at this place it's just a party here we'll get you some food and they bring up just the rawest muscles you've ever seen they're in a pile not cooked at all I start sucking them back and tucks like I better not these are an aphrodisiac and I just came from a pretty intense situation oh don't I know it buddy don't I know it you better steer clear of these shellfish they'll get you half mass by noon you hear all the shells crunching in billy's mouth as he's eating one and some of the goblins are just eating shells like they're just crunching on them and tucks like bill are you okay I don't think you're supposed to eat the shells I'm just gonna eat the shells I'm just gonna eat the shells I'm not okay they hurt so much yeah buddy you gotta you gotta crunch up the shell you crunch it up and you get the calcium in your bones and your bones get strong yeah crunch it up there you go billy you don't have to crunch it up you can spit into my hand if you want whoa whoa whoa whoa bro get over here I'm sorry that I eat I scoop it back up he grabs ving's hand this goblin grabs me hand and starts licking the shells off your hand hi I'm ving hi I'm robbie hi robbie hey their tongues are like cat's tongues is very rough yeah totally uh okay so what's your poison what do you want to do we got some cliff jumping going on we got some volleyball we got some skim boarding and tucks like yeah it's it looks really fun here it is I don't know why humans never come here and then you hear from the distance goblin just owed maybe every once in a while or a ceremonial keening of conception but whenever that happens did you hear like and then the whole crowd goes yeah proliferation of the goblin peoples is very important to us so we make a big deal of it and I'm not saying that everybody's got to proliferate here you know not everybody's into the whole thing people do what they want here at goblins bath widz widz widz us to be involved yeah we're sort of on the run from like kind of piratey sort of vibe okay yeah and we're trying to like keep this shit pretty hidden so if there's like a place you know that's extra hidden if you guys could keep an eye on it oh I see what you mean and midge is like oh no they do they want us to they want they want a little bit of glamour on it and he goes okay yeah no problem I can take care of that for you and bob uh gets up from his deck chair he kind of like I'm not the goblin I used to be yeah 60 like 60 year old dad like waddles to his feet he's got one of those like you know those like red guy like how they have like the big gut yeah exactly yeah they walk like little bulldogs exactly and he gets to the shore and he smooths down his fur and he uh he reaches up and he kind of jostles his big salt crown and he um extends his scent and he's like oh my god I'm gonna be a dick and he's like oh my god his hands in front of him and he closes his eyes and he grimaces and you can hear him going like and before your very eyes the clear water vanishes what the fuck um maggie don't get out of me I need to take a seat real quick and he wanders back over to his chair hey where's the boat eh oh boat's there just got a little bit of glamour on it and he winks so are the people on the boat are they fine oh they should be yeah well they probably can't see each other that's the only thing so they should probably stay still for a while they can't see each other no they're invisible I'm gonna throw a snowball at the boat yeah go for it folly uh yeah oh you could just do a 2d6 plus strength 12 yeah snowball whips out over the water and then pass against the side of what you assume to be the clear water okay it's there yeah and you hear from the water from far out into the bay what the fuck is going on you're invisible and billy's got his thumbs up like it's okay come back now no thank you it talks like where are you and your voices are invisible too yeah sorry my ears can't see you oh my god and you hear you hear you were just supposed to find out what's going on um should we go back and talk to them uh yeah we can but should we try and figure out what's happening first oh it's uh hmm this is this is your first time at goblin's bath huh yes yeah yeah yeah that makes sense you seem kind of spooked uh that's uh that's just something that uh just a little something that the crown can do the crown does that your crown the crowned wait what's crowned what are you the crown we oh me and midge and I we have uh you know we got a little thing going on spent a long time working on this stuff is it is it like crystal is it like magic crystal crowns I guess that's a way you could think about it they drink the water yes and then it filter out the they filter out the salt and then it it crystallizes on their heads they're like kind of latently magical because they're imbibing this water yeah oh wow so cool yeah and probably something to do with the structure of the crowns itself and their unique physiology and as uh as far as any of you know I'm not sure if you're well ving especially being like master of the natural world they might be one of the only species that drinks salt water and consumes salt in this way so this might be something that only is only possible due to their like unique living situations I've heard tell of magical goblins this is so cool and when I mean I don't want to overstate things because you're you know you're new friends so I'm I'll be up front with you I can do that again maybe in a couple hours make it less see through it and then I'll be like oh my god I'm so excited to be here with you but that's pretty much it okay that's why he wanted us to wait a few hours oh yeah that's pretty cool is it yeah man I've never seen anything like this before okay well you know welcome to goblins bath I didn't know goblins were such a beautiful and talented species and he goes oh now slow down there big guy I am spoken for this is my missus here but you know in my younger days oh boy and tucks like no I'm I'm recently divorced I can't oh yeah it's too soon for him that's why we have to get him out of here because there's too much temptation no I I hear you my uh my my my sister danielle she recently uh cut things off and she's she's been made she's been real moping about you know what I mean you he you look at where he's gesturing and there's a goblin named danielle that's got a big beehive a big beehive crown and she's just kicking a rock and watching young goblins play in the water uh yeah so I guess we could keep an eye on things for you thank you I mean in return we could supply you some more fun fizzy drinks oh that'd be great yeah so you're going back to the boat to get some drinks yeah get drinks and I guess maggie and perel so we can like let them know what the fuck's going on right yeah and they're like shouting at us angrily while we're rowing and we're rowing way less fast this time you just hear pro going what the fuck what the fuck is happening what is this what is happening calm down wizard weird things happen all the time yeah but but I think you're just jealous I think you're just jealous you can't do that right now I mean a little bit of course why wouldn't I be this is my whole thing I'm trying to learn how to do this again and his voice is getting more resolved as you get closer to the boat wow we've got the boat filled with beer now and it's all invisible that's been the most annoying part about getting the beer into the boat and getting people into the boat is that it's all completely invisible I like that we accidentally grabbed a beer and we're like oh my god we're gonna get a beer and we're gonna get a barrel full of baby powder instead of beer you can't tell one of these barrels is definitely not alcohol actually roll for that yeah do we have to roll to figure out what everything is 2d6 plus wisdom yeah I guess to feel around and try and smell remember okay so we're trying to take three things here yeah so yeah everybody tell me something that you want to bring from the boat to the goblins and then we'll roll for it uh ving's been propagating mushrooms he's done like an inoculated log so he's gonna bring them their log so they can't get in the boat and grow their own mushroom oh sick okay yeah all right what about tuck tuck is has a like he's got a bunch of music bottles in his backpack so he's like man you know what this party could use is good tunes and then he pops one of them and then that one is there's gotta be a morning after and he puts it he's like not that one I gotta find it it's really hard when these are all yeah I can't see any of the labels and what about billy billy brings what he thought was a sparkling apple juice for himself but he accidentally grabbed pearl's finest bottle of wine oh oh my gosh that's wine yeah yeah now let's roll 2d6 plus wisdom to see how close we are to actually getting those things yeah I got 12 I also I got 11 lord of flame please help me find edm seven okay so seven uh you definitely get a music bottle what are the bpms tell me the bpms tuck says what's a good amount of bpms 224 is what you want for a daytona beach party yeah so it's since it's a partial success it's only 111 oh no beats to study too oh no yeah it sounds like a girl doing homework by an open window with her cat sitting on her desk god I'm not trying to seduce my grandma's beautiful so you mostly succeed maggie and perel are sitting on the boat invisible on the other side of the pile of stuff that you're bringing that is also invisible and uh perel is just like what how is this possible apparently something to do with the salt crowns they swim in the salt they drink the magic waters it filters through their body if whatever happens there oh now we get these crowns and make some magic that reminds me of something what is it I think it had something to do with the vision I had when you were drunk when I was drunk I don't remember it clearly but I think it had something to do with that salt water something okay and we're talking to empty air yeah yeah different directions I'm over here you idiot billy's looking over the side of the boat into the water yeah being is talking directly at the side of tuck's head this is a weird bro tuck took took took a marker and he put a face on his hand and like big beautiful lips on it and he and he every time perel talks he makes the he moves his thumb to make it look like perel is talking and then sometimes it'd be like if you're just if you're just puppeting me talking why are you doing the voice I love frog oh my god how long is this supposed to last oh talk get over here give me a big kiss and then he kisses I would I would I would never I would never that's doing it for me billy's looking out at the water like bob said about a few hours so I mean you're just gonna have to like sit tight on the beach get a suntan I hate tanning I love tanning but but they said that they would keep the boat could that one's not me that one's perel tuck made that maggie when he put a little red wig on it where did you get a small red hand-sized wig billy's got a chunk of hair missing square out of the back you didn't did what I didn't what yeah what didn't what wide eyes I was I lean it out of the boat and I'm like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I lean it into bigger I'm like he had gum in his hair anyway so it's mostly gum that's how it's sticking to my hand yeah and you're so you're back to the shore and you go back to bob and midge and I yeah tuck goes uh yeah so we brought everything but it's still invisible for a couple of hours and midge goes oh there's no problem there you just kind of leave it on the shore and the boys will take care of it when it comes to be visible is it possible next time you turn the boat invisible that you turn the boat invisible in a way that you can't see it when you turn the boat invisible in a way that the people on the boat can still see each other and the boat well afraid not buddy oh fuck it's a hard enough job as it is making something that big invisible without specifying what is and is not but uh the people on the boat they're more than welcome to come and hang out on the shore with us we got lots of food places to sleep you are very kind and uh a wonderful host thank you oh you're too sweet you're too sweet but uh yeah a couple hours a couple hours pass you guys just kind of hang out with the goblins yeah yeah billy you're going to he's going to try skimboarding very nice yeah there's a bunch of just surfing for him yeah totally there's a bunch of uh really broey surfer goblins they're little like fledgling crowns look like slick back hair I'm like what's up bro what are you looking to do just looking to ride some sick waves fuck yeah get that surf kid falls into the water immediately and they're all like yeah I did it yeah you did a little buddy hell yeah uh what a tuck in bing do to pass the time and then I did bing was working at the harm reduction tent just giving people gatorades and stuff yeah and just like having like letting people come in and chill out there's like a sanctuary where people who are too high because we brought this this halfling white powder and people were sneezing it like they knew what was up and they do not yeah yeah so there's just a goblin sitting in a chair just like I have so many great ideas and nobody said my ideas I I really I have a great idea for a restaurant it's like um you ever had a taco bing's like helping somebody and like going through a first aid kit uh-huh it's like a taco but you go in and there's like a row of condiments and somebody says like what do you want on the taco do you want cheese meat vegetables what kind of sauces do you want yeah and then at the end uh I cut it in half I'm toasted or not so it's totally up to you there's cookies there's chips there's drinks there's everything yeah I love you too sorry what I oh I tuned out sorry no no no yeah at this point usually somebody's going on about how much they love me yeah yeah so let me okay let me start I don't know what an app is an appetizer I have a cool idea for an app it's a scallop on a cracker and what's stuck what's stuck up to oh you look over at tuck and he is like full body painted holding two glow sticks he's got a baby pacifier in his mouth and he's dancing like crazy yeah totally yeah yeah there's a goblin banging on a log yeah it's just like and then you hear from like where he is far away he's like these guys play logs tuck just cutting to the center of the cultural differences they just play logs it's fucking awesome uh and a couple hours pass and the boat slowly like a watercolor painting resolves in the water and so do maggie and perel um yeah that's sick I have a shirt full of like sea glass that I picked up yeah cool he found one of those like the tube seaweeds and like snapped it off so it's like a little scuba um breather thing awesome and he's been he's been swimming around in like the the shoreline picking up all this glass okay yeah um I'm gonna roll something for you sure that's great so you grabbed what like all the glass looking things that you saw you just piled them in your shirt with your little bull kelp uh to going up to the surface and you're picking through the glass and you grab one of the pieces of glass and it looks really sharp and then you pull on it and there's a handle attached to it and you realize that it is a aged obsidian knife with a bronze handle whoa it's not big enough for fighting or anything like that it looks like maybe it was used to like cut food or tendons which you love doing it does fit perfectly in billy's hand because he's so small it's a small it's like a paring knife yeah exactly that's cool all right I add that to my pile and you waddle ashore with a pile of sea glass and a knife inside it and tuxes billy's like billy what cool knife and then he walks back into the this guy's playing 224 btms on the walk I'm billy so annoyed because he uh dropped all of his rocks and a bunch of goblins like like run towards you as you drop all this primo sea glass no I found it and they're helping you put it back in your shirt yeah something is up with these goblins in terms of your experience with goblins these guys are so nice yeah I'm telling them that I'm like you know the last time we ran into goblins they're really mean oh well you know it's just kind of like it's like a mating season thing man like everybody puts their stuff aside and we all come together and we try and be as nice as possible because when this is done oh bitty boy things are gonna get bad that guy killed my parents yeah it's like it's kind of a reverse purge and like um I don't know like how how long until your mating season's over oh and uh one of them like looks up at the sun and kind of sniffs and looks around and grabs a pile of snow and puts it in his mouth and thoughtfully mushes it around in the distance you hear and then the guy uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh um Within eight sons of now.

So Billy drops his rocks. He grabs the knife, though, because he doesn't trust anyone anymore. Yeah. And he runs after Tuck. And Tuck, he's like dancing, and he's wearing a giant mouse head now. And he's at the DJ booth. And he's screaming, party mouse! Party mouse! Party king! Into the microphone. He's finding a whole new way to be a bard. And you see Billy's hands, like, coming up from, like, out of the tabletop. Yeah, you can see it in the mouse. Tuck puts his hands up like, yeah!

And he's like, no! Billy, we're dancing! No, we're not dancing! Oh, and Vincy's out there just dancing up a story. He comes shuffling out, yay! Oh! Yay! And Tuck… Yeah! And Tuck goes, all right, everybody, dance like this little kid. Because Billy's still, like, waving his hands in the air. It's like, and all the goblins start waving their hands. And Billy starts doing, like, the, like, no, cut it out, like… He's like, cut! And everybody's doing that, no, cut it out. Yeah!

And Tuck's like, put your hands in the air like you got no cares. Right, Billy? No! I have so many cares right now. Everybody goes, I have so many cares right now. No, please listen to my cares! And Tuck takes the, he does take the helmet off, because it seems like Billy's getting distressed. What's up, Billy? We have to go talk in secret. The others. Gotta find Maggie and Perel. He says it all into the microphone. The microphone? Yeah. They have a working microphone.

It's just like a bullhorn kind of thing. Yeah. And Tuck's like, all right, everybody, I'm going to give it back to log guy over here. I'm going to have a secret conversation with my son. And then, yeah, the DJ G day comes up and starts banging on the log again. DJ G day. I guess. And yeah, you guys just go and find Snowdrift to stand behind for a secret convo. And we've got Maggie and Perel here. Yeah. Are they visible? I'm visible. And I'm. Ving says that. Can you guys see them?

I don't see them. He's trying to fuck with them. Am I not? He starts patting himself. Yeah, I'm visible. Super visible. And kind of pissed, if I'm being honest. All I got to do is eat a bunch of salt. That'll kill me. I can't do that. Oh, to become magic again. Oh. It probably wouldn't even work, right? It's probably a goblin thing. It's definitely a goblin thing, man. Man. You have to have their noses. It's OK. We'll find you a way. All right. Billy, what'd you find out?

Oh, not good stuff, you guys. So Bob and Midge, they're a bunch of fucking liars. Sorry, I swore. Whoa, Billy. Everybody's like, whoa, Billy, calm down. Look, they said they'd look after the boat, right? And they're being really nice, right? Yeah. Well, apparently that's only going to last for another week or so. What happens in a week? Not good. Roger said all bets are off. Wait, are they just being nice for mating season?

Yeah, because I told them about the goblins we ran into in the forest, and he was like, yeah, but we put that all aside for the mating season. Oh, my God. And then afterward, we're just right back at it. It's a reverse purge. It is. And I asked about our friends on the boat, and they said, well. Okay. So how long do we think it's going to take us to get to the glacier? We could do this in eight days. I mean, it should be. It's close. The travel is nothing. We have birds. Yeah.

The giant birds will get us there in a day, is my guess. Yeah, that sounds. Tuck says, not knowing anything. You feel a presence above you, high in the sky, at the center of creation, that goes, yeah, that sounds about right. I forgot about the birds. I'm sorry. I didn't see. I thought they left. I was so stressed about the walk. Jessica, did you actually forget about the birds? Okay.

So, I mean, as long as we don't get knocked off course, like if there's a storm or something, or something terrible happens at the vault that keeps us there. Yeah. We should be fine. Yeah, but maybe you want to give, who's your first mate now that your crew is so small? It's Bruno. Oh, Jesus. I know, I know. He's a baby. I know. And we look, and Bruno is doing halfling. What? He's playing white powder off the DJ booth. Oh my God.

He snuck aboard and became un-invisible, and he's been having a blast. And he just grabs a goblin and kisses it right off the mouth. I love Mernick Cesar! As long as all bets are on, I'm loving you! Yeah, okay, so I'll just tell him to, when eight days are up, just bail. Or maybe seven. Yeah. Maybe seven. Yeah. But like, who's a bigger threat do we think? All these little gobblos, or Victoria LeBlanch? No. I've seen goblins.

One time in McCall, the goblin market ran out of left shoes and the goblins went nuts. Okay. What happened then? I don't want to talk about it. Okay. All right. So seven days it is. Seven days. Okay. One week. Okay. Yeah. That's, you know, that's a clear enough stakes. So I imagine what cut to you guys packing up. Bob and Midge are there. They're seeing you off. Well, you know, it's been real nice to get to know you. Uh, thanks for all the gifts and, uh, hope you're back in eight days. Yeah.

Yeah. We will be. Well, don't forget us. Don't forget this. Oh, don't worry. I, you know, I almost, I mean, maybe if I'm just thinking about my younger days, I almost hope you don't make it back. You know, it'd be pretty fun. Anyways, you kids have fun on your little adventure. Quiet and looked at each other. There's a really ominous silence. Anyways, you kids have fun on your birds and your magic quest, eh? Yeah. And then Chuck is like, thanks. Thanks, Bob. Uh, you have fun fucking your wife.

Oh, I will. I will. Oh, he will. Okay. Enjoy your remaining years. Billy learned from the goblins that enjoy your remaining years is through the traditional parting saying of the Arctic goblins. And, uh, yeah, everybody piles onto the birds, I guess. Cloud piercer says, come now, friends. Climb upon my mighty back so that I might carry you across these perilous wilds to our destination grand in our quest insane. And our heroics will ring through the halls of eternity for all time.

I fucking love this guy. And Gail goes, get on. And then Chuck gets on Gail. Yeah, that's yeah. Get grab on tight, buddy. Okay. Chuck, you got your haunches in there. You got to stop doing this, Gail. We're doing what? I'm a naturally sexual person. Okay. It feels like ever since the Victoria LeBlanc stuff, she's like really revving this up. She's like, oh, that's what tuck likes. Uh, you know, it's crazy all that time at sea. I feel like I've picked up a bit of an excess. Don't do this.

I don't want to. I don't want to do this with you. I don't know. What do you mean? I'm going to be quiet for a little bit. Okay. Okay. Okay. Grab on tight. She holds a feather up to his lips. You're beautiful when you're quiet. I don't know if you've ever touched a feather. It's not comfortable. I haven't pressed against your face. Yeah. He sneezes. Yeah. All right. So with undertake a perilous journey, we need a scout ahead. We need a navigate and we need a manage provisions. I'll navigate.

Perfect. I'll scan ahead. Cause I'm on Gail and she usually goes, she's fast. Yeah. She's faster. Yeah. I shall manage provisions. Okay. So that is a two D six plus wisdom for tuck two D six plus intelligence for Ving and two D six plus wisdom for Billy. What do we think managed provisions means in this flight? Like you're serving like shitty, like fish or chicken. There's a ton of dried fish that Bob gave us. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And Billy's got a little cart and a little cart.

Like he's got a little rolling cart in one of those halves. Like a flight attendant. Yes. Stewardess. Like a flight attendant. On the bird. Boom. Uh, okay. So yeah, everybody roll it. I got eight. I rolled nine, but I have eight cause I have a negative one wisdom because of my fucked up dreams. It's okay. I failed. I got a six. Okay. Not so good guys. Not so good. Uh, so scout ahead with a seven to nine. You choose one from the list below. You get the drop on whatever lies ahead.

You discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain, such as a shortcut shelter or tactical advantage. Hmm. You make. You make a capital D discovery or notice sign of a capital D danger. Uh, discovery. Okay. Ving a seven to nine. Uh, you happen upon a discovery missed by the scout. The going is slow or you wander off course. The GM says, which, uh, or you encounter a danger. It was the only one that wasn't negative out of those three options. So I'll go with the discovery. Okay.

And keep in mind, a discovery is not necessarily a thing you have to investigate. It's just a thing that you will see. Okay. Okay. And then a failure. Uh, I think it's very simply Billy opens the bags with the food in them and the food flies out. Yeah. And then he just closes the bag and pretends he didn't do anything. Pulls it up. Throws it over your shoulder.

Because, uh, after Bob gave me the bag, um, Ving and Tuck like knelt down there like, Billy, um, you don't want to open that during the ride. We will open it when we land. Uh-huh. And he's like, I promise. And then he did not. Woof. Yeah. Gone. Right into the skies. So he's just like. And you, and he hears Tuck go. Billy, are you on Gale? Yeah. So all this dried fish smacks Ving in the face. And then he opened the bag. He definitely opened it. He definitely opened the bag.

Cloud Piercer got a bunch of it though. Yeah. He was just like, wonderful. Delicious. Okay. Then we're going to roll some dice for the discovery. So everybody just start rolling D12s. Roll a D12 and tell me a number. Three. Eleven. Seven. Cool. So you're flying along. The sun is illuminating this vast, vast tundra around you. Every once in a while broken by a snowy hill or a rocky peak of some kind. But, uh, we're getting close to the crown of the world. Wow. Wow. So cool. All things are.

Pure in their beauty and their danger. Uh huh. And you see maybe Billy spots this just cause he's got kind of the best eyesight of the, the people on the birds. But you see like a, a peak jutting up out of the snow. And at the top you see what looks like the mouth of a cave. And as you're watching, it looks like part of the snow detaches and gets up and starts like padding out of the cave mouth. Holy shit. And there's this fucking massive wolf. It emerges from this cave and it looks up at you.

Whoa. So there's like a car sized wolf just kind of walking around on this peak. Gray wolf or black wolf. It looks like it's actually, it's, it's fur. Yeah. Billy, as you're watching it, like it was on the snow and it was white and then it gets up and it moves past the stone and what the parts of it that are near the stone become gray. Whoa. Like it's, it's mimicking, it's mimicking the colors of the environment around. Whoa. It's a liar wolf. Oh, good name. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are they rare?

They're very rare and very, very dangerous. I can't pet it. We can't, we probably can't pet that one. That's no slippers. Okay. So let's, let's Spout Lore about liar wolves just so we can learn a little bit. Uh, plus intelligence. I got a six. Oh, I'll help just cause I'm describing it. Oof. Wow. No. Five. Holy fuck. No. Wow. I'm so sorry. Failure. Actually, can I use a fairy child? Oh yeah. You should roll your fairy child first, but. Yeah, I'll do that. 11. Beautiful.

So you get five or whatever. Yeah, I get five and I'll use one to turn my failed roll to a seven to nine. Beautiful. Yeah. Okay. So interesting, but not useful about liar wolves. So they are of course famous for their ability to mimic their surroundings. And their pride. Yes. I was actually, I was going to say they're unusual. In terms of, uh, candidates in that they are not pack creatures. Oh, they are purely solo. Yeah.

And some say stories say that it's because they can't stand to be around each other. Like they are full of pride to the point where they push away other members of their packs. Cool. And some say that, uh, their ability to mimic is like, because the natural sort of translucent property of their fur means that they're like reflecting the light of what's around them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a curse. That means because of their pride, they'll never be able to find other members of their pack. I wonder if as we get closer and closer to like the north of the world, like where the winter war happened, where no one ever is, if like there are more and more magically imbued creatures up here. I like it that there's like a magnetic north of spiritual or magical. Yeah. The 40 cardinal directions. One of them was like just about magic. Yeah. Yeah. Sellers. Sellers. Yeah.

Yeah, we're going the Zellers way. Yeah, traveling Zellers. So that is what you see. You are welcome to investigate if you so choose. I think it might be worth looking at. I mean, it's a cave entrance. Maggie, is this the entrance to the vault? I don't think so, but can't be sure, I guess. Is the wolf really dangerous? Tacoma, look at the size of it. And Tacoma's like, dude, we're so far away, it looks tiny to me. Do you have any depth perception left? And Tacoma's like, oh, you wear glasses.

Oh, right. Where are your glasses? Where are your glasses? He's like, I don't want to wear them right now, okay? I'm fine. If you don't wear them, you won't be able to see how big the wolf is. And Tacoma's like, if I do wear them, then you won't be able to see how big my fucking dick is. Shut up. All right, fine. Don't want to wear the glasses. Don't wear the glasses. I'm not going to. Okay. Yeah. All right. You lost your glasses, didn't you? I lost my glasses. I lost my glasses at Goblin Fest.

Yeah, those are gone now. I dropped them on the dance floor, so I'm going to smash them. Yeah. Those have been eaten, for sure. Somebody ate those. That guy was eating all the shells. Oh, that's crunchy. Crunch, crunch, crunch. One of the pieces of beach glass that Billy found was a lens from my glass. Yeah, so totally up to you. You can definitely investigate. There might be something precious or interesting in the cave. I mean, we might be able to appeal to its ego.

We could ask the wolf where the vault is. The vault? Yeah, the tower. The tower, yeah. The tower and the vault. Yeah. Well, they're the same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely could. Okay. Yeah. Vin, can you talk to him from up here so we don't have to put this? Yeah. I mean, you know what? We'll park far away. I'll go in. You guys stay close, but I'll go in alone.

What if we circle high up and you have a connection with Cloudpiercer so he'll know if something goes wrong and you could talk to the wolf one-on-one? Yeah, that's cool. Then he'll be less likely to react to a big group because we know he hates groups. Right. Vin's like, all right, I'll be right back and just tips off the back of the bird. Oh. Did he just jump? He just jumped? Yeah. Yeah. And you land? Somehow? Yeah, I sure do. How? Light as a feather, my friend. Okay. Roll it.

It is a move you got to roll. Deet. Deet. Yeah. I definitely failed that. No. Oh, God. What'd you get? Oh, a seven. Okay. Great. What's a seven to nine on light as a feather? Something goes wrong. The GM tells you what? Yeah. Yeah. So you are trying to keep the view of the cave in your space. Sight as you're falling, angling yourself with your arms and little gusts of wind, trying to keep an eye on where the wolf is. And you're like, where's the wolf? Where's the wolf? Where's the wolf?

And you hit the ground, you know, three point landing superhero style. Yeah. And you look up and you just see the outline of it through its mimic camouflage. The wolf is directly in front of you. It is standing over you. Whoa. Holy shit. I bow my head and speak low and in my best wolf. What brings you here? Hello. I, I, I've come to your land. You dare? I am a friend of the land. I am of the north. Great wolf. I am here to appeal to you. I. Great mayor of the north. Let me shake a paw.

Who's a good boy? Roll a 2d6 plus charisma. Six. Can I aid from a distance? You can aid from a distance. Nice. Luck of the fair folk. Hell yeah. Okay, please. Eight. Okay. Makes it a seven to nine. Great. You come here. You pay tribute, but I do not see a gift. What does the king want? I must know this. I know about lyre. I know about lyre walls. I know about lyre walls. There's a lot of work. Value above all else is TikTok little man. Kinship. They love the touch of a loved one.

Something they never have. You're going to have to roll something here to figure it out. That's a good idea. Because the whole thing is they're so prideful that they can't be around other people but they miss their pack. They can never find them. I would like to slowly turn into a snow lyre wolf. If this works. I'd like to roll elemental. Is that what I'm using? Elemental form. So you're not going to take the form of a lyre wolf specifically.

You're going to take the form of a lyre wolf made out of moonlight and snow. And it's a wolf looking at the moon. Yes. We all love. Nine. I get two holds from elemental form. And I assume you're spending one of those to make yourself appealing. To the wolf? Yeah. Slowly like gathering as much snow. The snow around Ving is like going into a depression. And building up into this big beautiful white moon filled glowing from within wolf. And then what? And then what? Yeah. What now?

Well wolves show affection by nuzzling. And they also show like when they go on their backs they show their tummy because they want to show that they're like submissive. Right. Like an alpha dog would love. Yeah I'm going to sub the shit out of this wolf. So I slowly extend a paw. It bears its teeth and growls at you. And I caress it with my nose. I go in like trusting slow ears down. Caressing its side and then roll over on my back and then howl. Doing all of it. It's the full. I do everything.

I do everything. I do everything. I'm on my back writhing going aww. As a wolf initially as you reach out with your snout does that like twitchy like pullback growl where they're like I'm scared but I don't want to move. And then as you begin to roll around on your back and howl almost uncontrollably it looks towards the moon and howls. And you guys hear this like keening through the skies. These twinned howls. And then Turk goes sounds like it's going good. I think he's making a new friend.

What do you ask of me? Do you know of the tower of Adernac Allwater? The glacier wizard of the north? I do. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz. So long everybody. Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers. Take care. And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai. Bye everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music.

You can find all of Aaron's all the music from the show at SoundCloud.com Just search Spout Lore. Yeah maybe I gotta put it on Bandcamp because SoundCloud sucks shit. Yeah their links are weird. And we also should probably put it on Spotify too. That'd be cool. And YouTube. Yeah and YouTube. YouTube too. We'll put it all everywhere. Put it everywhere.

And you can find Aaron Reed's original music at aaronreed.bandcamp.com And uh thank you to all of our supporters around the world without whom this show would not happen. And thank you to you for listening. See you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures.

Three who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next time This week to hear some more Whilst you commute Or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

Spout Lore is only made possible through the contributions of listeners like you If you would like to donate, please go to Spout Lore dot com slash money, please or patreon.com slash Spout Lore Uh, and if you go there, you'll get a bunch of bonus content too, which is nice.

It's good bonus content I work really fucking hard on it Now the round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather up Still doing duolingo Oh, you're still doing duolingo?

No, I'm not, okay The hill's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz Hello Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers Hola Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai Hi everyone Paul is still doing his duolingo Stop doing it I will Once he finishes this lesson When last we left our heroes, they took to shore Meeting the goblins of Goblin's Bath During their mating season, aka spring break To the…

2006 Uh, we met the… He's actively doing duolingo You gotta stop doing it I am stopped doing it I'm next to you I haven't heard the… Which means he's doing poorly No This means this lesson's gonna take fucking forever Yay Well done, Paul Uh, we met Bob and Midge Arctic goblin elders Crowned as they were With the salts of…

The goblin bath Mm-hmm Due to the, uh, unusual physiology of the, uh, arctic goblins Which involves them expelling excess salt through their noses Which, uh, crowns their skulls over time So cool And that leads us to the next revelation After being asked if they can help hide the boat Goblin elder Bob got up from his deck chair next to the pool Yeah And with a wave of his hands and much grunting Caused the clear water to vanish Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!

Uh, it turns out that the goblins here have some sort of limited mastery over magic Due to their lifestyle living deep, deep in those magical arctic waters Pretty cool Consuming them, consuming the salt and, uh, wreathing themselves in it So cool The party was then informed via Billy having a conversation with a skimboarder That, uh, their intense, intense kindness and hospitality Is primarily or exclusively Due to the fact that mating season is considered a kind of neutral time Where everybody gets together and is cool and helpful and nice But once mating season is over All bets are off They turn into monsters again They, they do their, they go back to their old feuds They start fighting and scrapping They attack, uh, people for their goods Like they live the regular old lifestyle that we have seen in goblins Uh, in the principalities at the very least So we have eight days Yeah To get, get to the townhouse To the water tower and back Look, it's hard up in the north You can't be passive You gotta take what you need up here The party hopped onto the thunderbirds And, uh, took to the skies Heading towards Adernack All Waters Tower Billy lost all the food Opened a bag and it all flew out the back Oh, right Yeah Yep It's like the marshmallow experiment But with a bag of fucking fish It's all gone The second we ascended, I asked, I asked Tuck Uh, are we there yet?

And he said no And then I was like, we may never get there I'm opening this bag right now Oh yeah, Billy, Billy collected a bunch of beach glass And found in the glass, uh, an obsidian knife So cool A small paring knife I love it Sized blade With a bronze handle I'm gonna write it down so I don't forget Uh, the party took to the skies Traveling on the backs of Cloudpiercer and Gale Uh, towards Adernack All Waters Tower Seeing on their way a jagged peak Of a man who was a man of his word Emerging from the snow And at the top of the peak A creature known as a lyre wolf A massive canine Capable of mimicking its surroundings Mm-hmm And known for their intense pride Uh, said to be a curse From an old god Forcing them to live a life of solitude Uh, Ving decided Hey, let's go see if this wolf knows what the dealio is So he, uh, fell backwards Off a bird And landed in front of the wolf Knowing that the wolf was a man of his word Knowing that their pride was their defining character trait Turned into a wolf of similar size But made of the moon Howled and rolled around on his back Showing how cool the other wolf was Yeah, really made himself a beta Yeah, and it worked Yeah, thus becoming the alpha The true alpha is the beta Yeah Of the alpha And asked if he knew of Adernack All Waters Tower To which the wolf replied I do And that is where we end up Ving Would you be willing to take me And my friends The wolf returns to his regal position Now you having proven how much of a beta you are How willing you are to cuck yourself In front of this mighty wolf Ving's eyes are darting side to side Oh god, I hope Tux ain't listening to this Yeah We all have the We all have the rings on Yeah He's looking at him just twirling the ring And he's thinking Fuck, fuck, fuck They heard all of that He says I will show you the way In return You must offer me a shame What?

Whoa Tell me Of your most shameful moment So that I may know That I am better than you So there's so few things to choose from He says twirling the ring on his finger He He holds up a paw One shame will do Ving tells the wolf the tale of Years and years ago When he was looking for his father Came upon an encampment of this They're called the Frenzy And they were like a subgroup Of his father that used them They're almost like kind of berserker types Oh And was Wanted information from them And in this time was very This is right after he found out About his death About his dad killing his mom And he turned into a polar bear And murdered Whoa I thought he was just there For intimidation They fought And he Went at them with white hot rage And killed a lot of these Frenzy warriors And it was very awful Terrifying That sucks Yeah Bloody Thing And he's always felt a lot of shame About that Because he was just trying to get information And he realized that Oh no I'm the bad guy here And the wolf listens to this And He's like I'm the bad guy here Raises himself up You see his like fur bristling a little bit And he licks his paw He says yes Pathetic Okay These wolves suck Very well I will show you The way He's done the same thing But he just didn't ever feel bad about it That's the part that he's like That's the shameful part Is that you were like regretted murdering men Exactly Totally Yeah You took the life of those lesser than you And that is why you're a bad guy That is why you shame That is your shame Shame on your shame The strong destroy the weak It is the way of life Okay Yeah But because you have cucked yourself so before me I will show you the way to the glacier Come back to us for a second Yeah Billy and I are just doing cat's cradle On the back of Gale Billy reaching out to me His little hands into the middle of the thing To go whoop Oh you did it I did it Only like after 14 tries What are you doing?

I can't see I can't see it She's turning in circles Whoa Whoa Whoa Gale is so intrusive It's hilarious I love that she's so intrusive She's able to break into mental connections She's so forceful Gale force Gale force Yeah The only thing she does is She does it for his To get attention Yeah Oh man Gale's so funny Yeah So that is what the wolf says He is willing to show you the way to the glacier Thank you Do not thank me It does not become you I am great Yes One day you may believe that I'm super top of the world Too much Reel it back a little bit I'm better than you Well Now hold on son I am the tundra come alive I am the cave made flesh I am the howling winds and the biting cold Amazing That is amazing Thank you I've been practicing I can tell You have a lot of practice time Look at my fur as it changes colors That's great And he moves back and forth and he changes colors That is one thing If you're like up against like environments It's shockingly hard to see these things Like you can see their eyes glint sometimes But that's pretty much it Wow So cool The one thing that the lyre wolf cannot mimic Is the blue sky of day Oh That is our curse Why is that?

Who cursed you? What is your shame? Our shame is that when moon came to earth And waged war on men The wolves refused to do so And cursed her call That's sick So cool Oh my god It was cool So did she like banish them to the night? Oh my god Should we warn them? Can we land so we can have this conversation with her? Tell your friends to come down here Guys it's cool I'll just say you're done with the ring That's what we're saying from above Did she banish you?

Just like Yeah So then you relay back to Cloudpiercer That the thunderbirds can bring everybody else down And they make a big Big deal of it And then you see a wide arcing turn Through the air Before alighting on the cliffside And Maggie hops down With Tuck and Billy And Perel falls onto the snow Face first And gets up rubbing both his calves really fast His calves?

Yeah he's rubbing his calves They're asleep My calves are asleep I'm gonna work on my thighs after my calves And Billy and Tuck You see Ving standing In front of the This like Huge cave mouth And It takes you a second to realize What you're looking at But he's also standing in front of A gigantic wolf Holy fuck It was a Time of blood And a time of strife So your howling is a wailing It is a call A Killing An apology Us begging the moon To allow us back into her embrace Whoa Cool But it is not to be And he turns his head away And he looks into the corner of his cave We must bear our shame Until the moon itself is destroyed The other moon There's a destroyed moon already But the other one someday Ving does his best To not look anything like the moon No I like it I have not spied the moon's light For many many months Are you guys not allowed to look at the moon?

We cannot perceive her glory What you can't see it? No It is our curse Whoa That's cool It is cool So goth Thank you We are tragic creatures I started off being like This guy's gonna be really serious But the voice is too funny It's so funny Well the guy started having like Jordan Peterson vibes Right at the beginning of the show At the gate But this is a lot more accessible And I just say cock Because it's such a funny word to say So you wish to go to the tower? Mm-hmm What seek you here?

The wizard The wizard If I could spit I would I understand that is what humans do When they are disgusted Why don't you like wizards? The fuck? Foul magics of the wizards Revolt me and my kind Magic is to flow through the earth Through the sky Through the clouds In the dark Not to be worked by mortal men Ooh Cool So can you use magic too? What thinks you make this possible? And he disappears In front of a rock wall Where'd he go? Where'd he go?

And he opens his eyes I am here Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Look at it hiding Wow I am much better than all of you at it Except you mighty birds I respect your Your Um What's the fuck? Eyes Hold on Language fella I respect your inferiority to me Because the cloud is your domain And you look like the cloud And that's pretty cool But still Pathetic What is your name?

I need not be called I need not be called I am not a name I am one and all I am thought I am action I am victory Victor Sick Yeah Paul named him instantly Victor Your name is Victor Your name is Victor now No It is not Victor Okay So There are ways To displace Many We go over land Across the desert Great white Dangerous For all but me I am the best Okay Or we go below Into the tunnels The old ice Dig through the heart of the earth Whoa Whoa That sounds cool dude Is safer For body But not for mind Well we don't have those so Yeah We're all pretty stupid Minus one mind Yeah How close are we?

How many days travel?

For me Nothing Okay For you 1.5 Maybe two Okay Okay That is a long time Kind of Two days there Two days back That's four days That only gives us Yeah I would give you Give you four days To fuck around in the tower Okay Hopefully you're not Held longer than that Okay so So either Over land Is fast But dangerous Okay Many threats In the tundra There's many threats But not many Back at the beach Yes Those goblins There's so many threats Oh the goblins Oh Yeah Oh Have you seen them?

Yes Their flesh is disgusting Yeah And they are Going at it Like crazy right now They stink of magic Ugh Don't you have magic though?

He's different He's different I'm just It's kind of hard To pin down your ideology It's kind of All over the place All over the place Oh really You meet me for first time And have five minute conversation Expect to understand Everything about Okay This is why you're pathetic Okay That's fine Your accent's All over the place too Look I'm trying okay What was It's more like this More Like right?

Am I doing kind of Oh no it's pretty It's good It's good It's static Just wanted to make sure I wasn't getting too far away From my cars Okay I'm just Okay So Across the tundra Across the great white Oh man What do you guys Let's talk Okay Underground would be kind of cool For sure Yeah Time It takes more time Yeah And then we don't get the birds We'd have to leave the birds anyway I think if we went into the tower Yeah Even if we got from air I also I think the excuse of That we could be seen Coming in By land or air Yeah Makes sense We could find other Cool magic stuff On the way If we go underground Yeah And honestly like Gail's getting Pretty handsy She is In a very confusing way I don't want to get into How she's getting handsy Okay Or why it's confusing to me And he's like He's saying this to you guys In secret He's like I just kind of want A break from Gail And it's just I know the tunnels Are more dangerous For our minds And it will take A little bit longer But like I kind of want to break From Gail Yeah let's take the tunnels Don't tell her That I said that Because she'll get weird About it She can hear you In my mind Okay To the tunnels Let's do it The tunnels Okay Say your goodbyes Your pathetic goodbyes And then meet me At Mouth of Cotano Cave Okay dude I will go Steal myself Alone Sorry That was too much I will go steal myself Alone Okay It is my curse And then he goes and walks Into the cave So I hug the birds goodbye Goodbye Small Billy Goodbye Bye Bye And I throw my bird seed On the ground And they both go Look And start pecking at it Oh my god You've had this the whole time Billy you had this the whole time Yeah It was for when you landed Oh my god There's a caraway in here Thank you so much Of course Should we meet you at the tower Or wait for you to come For your return here Oh maybe meet us there We might need a quick extraction Very well Yeah I'll call you And he nods We will fly high High above the clouds Far from any sight And we will come When you need us We will arrive When you need us And they take a couple Awkward bird steps back On the cliffs Yeah And extend their wings And woof Into the skies Yeah Billy falls over From the force of the wind Billy's rolled backwards Billy comes up Like a little bird Like a little snowball Cause he got rolled across Majestic Yeah Yeah just a hand hand foot foot Yeah I love it when they do that And you go and you meet Victor In the cave Pretty classic wolf cave Skeletons and shit Mostly animal Mostly animal Okay Scary There's like a A huge skeleton That thing you would recognize As like a rhinoceros Whoa Whoa Did you hunt that yourself I did Wow Wow The beasts of the tundra Are very dangerous But they are no match for me They're so strong And swift And invisible It is my curse This is a caribou That I also killed Cool Wow He's giving you a tour Of all his bones Yes This is about 50 to 60 Small foxes Wow There's so many furs There are I like the way It feels And this is a whale How did you kill a whale How do you think I killed a whale You drowned it I found it Yes And I brought it Back to my cave Wow You're so strong I am Did you say It was here When I got here This might have been The whale's cave first And he leads you To the back of the cave And It starts going Down Into the rock Cool Oh cool These tunnels were dug Long ago By I know not what But they connect Many places In the north Can I use Spout Lore To try and figure out Who built these tunnels Yeah totally I have a negative One intelligence But I also have Fount of knowledge So can I take a plus one Right that's the one If nobody else knows Yeah Okay then yeah Totally He literally just said I know not Who built this Cave Yeah you got me You buttonholed me on that Yeah I'll buttonhole you Tonight dude Oh man I can't wait bro Wow No wonder We're not doing A fourth episode Gotta get some Buttonholing done I gotta save some Of my energy For buttonholing Tonight Okay 26 plus Intelligence plus one Guys try and bless These dice Bless Bless Bless Here we go For smart things Five Wow Holy shit Okay So So The one thing That you do know Is that it doesn't seem Like these were carved Okay As you start to Enter the tunnels Like Like they're naturally Formed They seem to be Naturally formed They're old waterways That makes sense Oh So the tunnels As you're descending Like you basically Go through stone And then You enter into What seems to be Like ice Like solid ice Blue clear Dark Uh yeah Blue clear and dark Kind of ripply Maybe Like so it Seems like there aren't Like tool marks Or anything like that Like these were Naturally formed likely Or Some process You don't understand Yeah Maybe grown Could be Could be Uh and you begin Walking down the tunnels Vic leading the way I assume that you all Have your various light sources I was gonna say It's so dark down here But I always forget You have 50 sources of light The light goes into the ice Yeah That's what I'm thinking It like glows And bounces off Illuminating like Designs and like Lines and things Somebody goes around a corner And it's really cool To see through Yeah And you can see You can see your own reflections Like refracted Through the ice Oh cool Yeah If he stops for a second Just give him A little pep talk After all that shaming He did From the wolf Just like You know You're pretty cool dude Giving himself a pep talk You got this You got this bro Don't let that wolf get to you So yeah What do you guys do?

You're just walking along That's it Said it's gonna be 1.5 to 2 days I'd like to discern realities And see if there's any Faster way we can do this I was thinking of doing Some sort of sledge Or some slide Is there any Inclination to this? Can we sled Or can we turn this Into a giant tube ride?

That's what would be Ideal If we could take An inner tube Down this tunnel Like a sled dog Sort of situation Like dog We could make something Yeah you don't have to Roll for that necessarily If you could convince Victor to Drag you He could probably Go faster If he would It's hard to say If he would Hey Victor I bet you couldn't Pull us through here Yeah Yeah 2d6 plus charisma 9 Yeah I'll help And Tuck is like Yeah man Dude We're way too Fucking buff and big I don't I'm in a bulk phase I'm kind of huge No one could pull me And I'm a simple cuck Yeah And he's got the Fattest cuck Ever Cause Tuck doesn't know What that word means Yeah Plus bond 9 Okay Nice That makes it a 10 Woohoo So you say I bet you couldn't pull us And Vic stops And turns around And says What did you say?

I'm just saying Of course I could Uh huh Don't even finish Your sentence You're foolish To think I couldn't Pull you Could you even Pull us all the way?

I mean Oh I could pull you To the fucking stars And back No fucking way So far I don't have to Prove myself to you But just in case I had to prove myself Maybe I'd do this Maybe I say Get a rope out Rope And maybe I say Get like a bag Or something I'll lay down some furs Okay Then hold on To the rope Yeah okay And if I had to do it I would do it like this This is never gonna work guys And he takes it in his mouth There's no way Only the strongest wolf Ever would be able to do this Hold on to your ass Idiot And he starts to run And he's dragging you guys along And you're zipping down this tunnel Great Whoa Can we discern realities As like We're zipping through?

Absolutely Yeah 2d6 plus wisdom I got a six Nice Okay so Uh Oh wait Can we help?

Oh yeah Oh yeah Yeah yeah You can help Uh I like I wanna help Billy Look around While we're being ripped through it By just holding him steady Yeah Cause I was about to fly off Yeah It's really hard To look around Like a steadicam Yeah Just holding his head in place Yeah Like a GoPro Yeah Just attach him to my head Yeah Eight Eight Okay so that makes it a seven and nine Which means you get one question From the list Awesome I wanna know What here is not what it appears to be Are Maggie and Perrault with us?

Uh yeah I guess they would be Yeah Okay Perrault do you feel anything down here?

Um It feels like Like Electric Yeah that's an interesting question I guess he probably would But only a little bit Cause it like The time that he was like Oh man I'm really connected to this stuff Was when he was like Drunk on the The magic booze But he's just like Yeah I'm I feel something Just like Ugh You know Like ugh And he's just like Gripped onto Tuck's waist Like he's a terrified teenager Riding a moped with his friend So what's the orientation on this sledge?

It's me with Perrault behind me And then Maggie behind Perrault Uh huh And Ving in the front Yeah He's got one foot up on the rope That's attached to the wolf He's so extended like that So Billy on the back? Billy is wrapped around Tuck's forearm Yeah Yeah Okay Yeah!

And then Tuck is holding onto Ving's leg Yeah Perfect Perfect Yeah I can't take anything wrong with this It's like the cover of Star Wars basically Yeah Yeah exactly So yeah you are Fucking ripping ass through this tunnel And you look around into the ice And you start seeing like images And the images resolve into landscape Like you see The snowy white tundra You see this barren land And uh As you Continue through the tunnels You take quite a deep dip Like down through the ice And you see the colors and the ice change And the light refract in different ways Oh yeah He's like He's running through Yeah Yeah He's like doing like the skids up the sides Yeah I was picturing that too I mean like Whoa Yeah Yeah And you see the images around you like Shift and change You see Days, months, years pass The sun rise and set The coronet reforms into a moon And shatters again Whoa And armies march across the tundra Blood as far as the eye can see from it And it's just There's so much happening around you Look This is the history of this place Written in the ice Wow Billy's having like war flashbacks right now Yeah Whoa Steal your mind This is time itself You are but the stone in the river of ages Whoa My god This wolf comes out with some cool shit For such a weirdo Uh so everybody's gonna As you're like all looking into these Images You feel Your mind Trying to like Reckon With all of the things that you're seeing You're like fighting madness kind of Yeah exactly Yeah I was imagining almost It almost like as we were running We would get flashes It would be like tunnel And then flash to like A different time And then Flash flash flash Until it's like Just continuous like We're not really in the tunnel anymore And like we feel ourselves being stretched across The entirety of Yeah All of history This is a real Willy Wonka in the tunnel Right Yes On the boat There's no earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going Yeah Yeah That's what the wolf is saying There's no earthly The schnozberries taste like schnozberries Uh so everybody's gonna have to roll something Yeah Constitution Tell me how you're Tell me how you're trying to Yeah Deal with this Onslaught Of mental stress You have to stay like present basically So It's a lot of like Alright I can feel this I can smell this So I know I'm here I'm not actually Back then Yeah I would say that's Because it's the sensory kind of Stat I'd say that's 2d6 plus 1d6 Plus wisdom Sure Yeah cause you're dealing with Your PTSD From the war Yeah Yeah Cause yeah you see like Battles that you fought Like you immediately recognize Battlefields as like I was there You might be in The imagery here Yeah Oh maybe yeah That'd be cool 10 Oh hell yeah And yeah you do a Body scan basically I basically do a body scan What's your like Three things you can see Two things you can smell Yeah and like I can smell Corn chips And Tuck's beard And He's got a lot of perfume In his beard I think from Victoria It's beard oil It's also to cover up The corn chips Yeah I can I can I can smell Tuck's forehead And I can feel Tuck's forehead I'm on Tuck's forehead I'm on Tuck's forehead So sweaty I think it's my sweat And you Our sweats are one Yeah And you do away With these images You accept the events That you took part in And then you file them away In the infinite Memory palace Of Billy's mind Yeah Ving Yes Time Is a fleeting thing And your friends around you They'll come and go What are you gonna have When you're all alone I was thinking that Ving's Maybe just gonna give into it A little bit Ooh Ride it out Yeah This is a real This too shall pass Moment for him Yeah Absolutely wisdom Yeah 2d6 was wisdom Oh no Yeah I failed Jesus fuck I got six total So that makes sense Cause I tried to just Not fight it Yeah totally So maybe Ving gets a little Loopy in this tunnel Oh yeah Just getting overwhelmed By the isolation Of like knowing that You will be alone again One day Uh yeah Eons unfold before you Blossoming like a flower The infinite Reach of time Pupils Dilating into moons Yeah My Pupils go White As the moon Oh As the moon As the moon Has endured for millennia And will endure for millennia more So shall you Oh there's The phases Of the moon Are crossing over my eyes As the lights are changing In their Time passing And you see You see the time Going forward Forward and forward And forward Hundreds of millions Of years Till eventually The earth itself Falls away All that remains Is the moon I look down And I'm standing But not with feet With roots I'm rooted As a tree On the moon Tuck and Billy You see this As Ving is like Stock still in front of you Uh huh You see Roots Descend From his long Grey hair Whoa And start to crawl Down his body And you see them start Reaching towards the ice Whoa Uh Take my little Obsidian dagger Ooh Yeah Sick What do you do with it?

Um I hand it to Tuck It's It's miniature in your hands It looks a lot bigger In my hands Uh Can I use An ear for magic To figure out How to stop this? Yeah Yeah I think so When you hear an enemy Cast a spell The GM will Tell you the name Of the spell And it's effects Take plus one forward When acting on the answers Right so we basically just Talk about what it is Cause we don't have Named spells So what is happening To Ving right now?

What's happening is that Ving is losing it It's the effect That the tunnels Are having on him And that is causing him To react in a way That is attempting To like root himself In the right now Okay But literally My corporeal form My earth Yeah Sense is trying to The vessel of Ving Is trying to be like We are unmoored Yeah I'm trying to take root Exactly Yeah But what that would mean Is stopping this Sled dead Yeah Losing the wolf Maybe Victor's going really fast Yeah Yeah Okay That's what you do I take the obsidian knife That Billy gave me And I stab Ving So he can feel his body Okay Nice Yeah That works great Uh My boner goes away Immediately Yeah I also was thinking Of that crystal baby Yes I've got wood Uh 2d6 plus dexterity I take Billy's knife And I try and give you Like a little nick On the arm To like Wake you back up Cause I was like I was saying your name And you couldn't hear me Shaking me Doesn't do anything Yeah Ving Ving Four Shit Okay Nice Okay Uh yeah So you can roll a d10 Ten Ving Fuck I have two armor So eight Eight yeah And you take eight damage As Tuck reaches forward To give you this little cut On the arm And is jolted forward A little bit By the sled And just stabs you In the Like the tricep Shit And thankfully It's only a little Pairing knife So it's in and out But you are like Brought back To the real world So quickly Oh my god By the searing pain In your bicep And Tuck's like Sorry Sorry Sorry You stabbed me You were going crazy Dude Oh I'm going crazy You just fucking Stabbed me On the rollercoaster Yeah Ving You look down And you see these roots On your body Start to dry And wither And fall away Did I have dreads For a second What was going on Yeah I was giving it to you To cut the dreads off And Tuck's like I couldn't hear you I'm sorry I'm sorry too Why'd he stab Ving Ving It's a whole situation Up here Uh Tuck you Take this Now that you've You're dealing with Bleeding Ving You kind of Give the knife back to Billy And you start looking around And you see All this time start to pass How does Tuck Manage this I think It starts flashing Faster and faster And he feels Like the tunnel Stretch out to infinity The end of the tunnel Is just a burning tree Oh It's He can see Like The burning tree The path that he is on In time Everything Terminates at the burning tree No matter where he goes So how's he dealing with that I think he's just doing What he always does Which is Like the unencumbered Unharmed thing Oh the unbowed Unbent unbroken Right Unbowed unbent unbroken Uh When you Prepare Yourself To endure some hardship Without fighting back Roll plus con On a hit You either take half the damage Or you can completely ignore One of the Other I'll effect On a ten plus You defeat Expose Or frustrate Your oppressor With your stubbornness So I guess I I'm looking I guess I'm looking Directly at the burning tree And I'm just going like It's fine It's fine You always knew It was gonna end Somehow It's fine Yeah That's so cool Okay Roll it 2d6 plus constitution Nine Nine Okay I want to aid Okay Okay Okay Okay Just aiding by being beside him Yeah Nice And being present 2d6 plus bond Six Okay Not so good Not so good Okay Unless we want to try a bond An aid on an aid So I can aid his aid?

We've done this before Yeah we did it at the end of season six It happens so rarely I think it's This is a weird internal thing It's not a big mechanic Like it Yeah Ten Okay So ten makes Ving's failure a seven Yes Tuck your Ten There's a ton There's a ton and you look directly into the burning tree, into your foretold doom, and you see standing beneath the burning branches, another. And that is the last thing you see. What? Gone from your sight.

I want to Spout Lore on the burning tree before it goes away. A shadow of a person? A silhouette? Not how visions work, buddy. Not how visions work. Fuck. But what if that is how they work? Interesting. Interesting. Interesting theory. Sean, hear me out. We're all making all of this up. So Spout Lore wouldn't make sense. Okay. Because this is a portent of some kind. Mm-hmm. Discern realities also wouldn't make sense because it's like a flash of a fragment of time.

You know, it's not really a thing you could examine. Just tell me what the other figure looked like. It looks like a person. Does it look like me? Two arms, two legs. You very much get the idea that it's not you. Okay. Yeah. And then it's gone. What happened? What happened with Maggie and Perel? Maggie has like a haunted look in her eyes and Perel is crying. Oh. We're good. We're good. We're good. Perel is like sad crying. Very sad crying. And he's trying to hide it now.

He's trying to like wipe it away as fast as possible. But his eyes are beet red. And Maggie's like ashen faced basically. But she's like, it's fine. We're good. We did it. Let's go. Okay. And Victor is like, you have survived the trials and tribulations of the tunnel. And Vic continues running through the tunnel. Do we want to do a perilous journey for like the stretch? Yeah, I'd do it. Okay. We'll do navigate and scout ahead.

We might not need to do manage provisions just yet unless we decide to make camp down here. So who's going to scout ahead and who's going to navigate? I'll scout because I'm staying at the front of the sled. Sounds good. Billy, maybe you should navigate. I don't feel great. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So navigate is 2d6 plus intelligence and scout ahead is 2d6 plus wisdom. Okay. I have head beam moon eyes right now. Ooh. Uh, nine. I also got nine. Okay. So yeah, Victor continues on through the tunnels.

Rip an ass fucking mock for his wolf is hauling. And it's a confusing site from behind because like you can't see him necessarily. He will blend into the tunnel around him. Oh yeah. And you can't see past him. Right. So it just, you have no idea what's coming up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Feeling of like the passage of time is like lifted like as soon as the cavern becomes bigger and you see in like one uh far away corner of this massive cavern as if it was tossed aside a keep like a stone building whoa smashed into a corner of the cavern grown into and over the walls but like almost cast aside by the ravages of time so it's an old building that was frozen into this cavern yeah looks like vink pulls the um the bell to stop the bus and vick screeches to a halt we fly past him yeah it takes a while for him to stop because he's going so fast slide yeah why have you stopped me I'm running so fast have you been here before this place yes pass through what do you know of that building that's me mimicking spitting like humans do when they hate things you hate it I hate it it stinks of magic and tuck starts running towards perl shoves you yeah right perl shoves against tuck but gets pushed away so steady no talk I want to see it first can I roll to get there first yeah sure 36 plus uh strength I guess uh 14 yeah you congratulations and perl did that to himself yeah you got the 14 was perl's own actions yeah but you get there first congratulations everybody gets there shortly after you I start digging through it trying to find something good before anyone else does uh so you're digging through and as I hear people coming behind me I go get back I'm gonna roll discern realities yeah great great uh nine nine okay tuck you wanna you didn't know we can no I'm gonna just roll certain realities by myself okay then you're gonna roll discern realities by yourself okay then you're gonna wait no you're gonna wait eight great you did more poorly if you'd helped ving that would have been a ten can he say after the fact that he's helping nope sorry you made it very clear that you were not helping when I asked tuck to help me look through here he said no and he closes his eyes I pushed I pushed ving wow yeah all my street kid instincts kicked in because I saw a pile of garbage oh my god so billy found that really cool knife yeah that's true oh I bet he's all triggered again because billy found like the the knife the knife of rian as well it was right knife and then now we I don't have the knife anymore because we gave it a fucking cloud piercer right and then billy's the only one that found anything fucking cool and the you stabbed me with it yeah and now you're like I want to find a cool knife I want to find a cool knife and then maybe give it to ving as an apology for stabbing him uh-huh what's valuable or useful here magic something magic-y it's gotta be I mean it does seem like perel even is like approaching this place very warily there's there's this is something something terrible happened here I want to go in this building uh so the thing is that you can't really okay you see a building but there's chunks of snow and ice that are blocking the doorway and tuck now that you're there and you're fucking well actually what's your question oh I know what here is useful or valuable to me before ving so you are you're really uh digging your fucking way through and the partial success is because every time ving walks up I push I go get out of here in a way he pushes on my arm where he stabbed me oh and then we get into a little fight and I'll give him a little you know a little pinch that you do on your like siblings that hurts so much just with your nails I knew you in the balls so hard It's so hard you hear them clack.

It sounds like two pool balls smacking together. Makes the Chinese ball sound. You start pulling away at stone and ice in this collapsed gatehouse. And some of it falls away deeper into the ice. So you think that there are openings behind this that you could access, but it would be very dangerous. Can I trap expert or should I let go? No, trap expert is great. Should I let them finish discern realities? No, they finished. They only got one question each because they decided to fight each other.

Okay, so Billy's the only mature one in the group right now. I'm holding you responsible for this as well. Okay, 2d6 plus I think dexterity for trap expert. Yeah. Seven plus two, nine. Nice. Is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? So there is a trap in that it's very unstable. Right? Yeah. And what activates it is not any current action. It's fucking around too much in here. So you could potentially get in. You could find some stuff. You could learn some things.

It's like ancient stone. I could crumble. Okay. It's kind of being held together by the ice that it's embedded in. Yeah, it's being held together by the fact that no one is fucked with it in God knows how long. So the way in lies before you tuck is basically uncovered a hole. Okay. Into the ice. And I go, guys, look. Okay. It's like a hole. A hole. You found it. I found it. I slip in. 2d6 plus dexterity to do it gracefully. I don't even touch the sides. I go 14. Whoa. Holy shit. Right through.

Boom. And you see the whole floor like whoa. Oh yeah. It glows with moonlight as you illuminate a really aggressively angled and collapsed stone fortification of some kind. Like this looks like it was made for practicality. Instead of art. It's all like old heavy beams, just stonework that was like chopped bricks out of like dark granite and then mortared together.

But at this jaunty angle in which everything that might have been in this room at one time has been like smashed down to a side and then half filled with ice and snow. Do I recognize anything? Can I discern realities or should I? Yeah, go ahead and discern realities. Okay. I'd like to discern realities. Plus wisdom. I got seven. Seven. I got one question. What here is valuable and useful to us?

So in a very D&D dungeon way, you see through the ice that is sort of like frozen part of this place in time, a heavy iron banded wooden chest frozen in the ice. Cool. But then you also see shapes around it. Are they moving? No, absolutely not moving. How deep under the ice is the chest? Pretty deep. It's like you can see it only because this ice is so clear. Yeah. Okay. It's probably 15, 20 feet of ice. That deep? Yes. Wow. Yeah. He looks at his spear. He looks at the ice, looks at his spear.

I don't know. He remembers he can summon fire. Yeah. I guess I could manipulate it into water. Yeah. Even just a tunnel towards. I like it. I'm going to try it. Okay. Elemental mastery. Okay. Okay. I got eight. Okay. So you get one. Okay. Well, I'm going to try it. Okay. Well, the effect I desire comes to pass. Which is turning the ice to water so you can get the chest. Yeah. Yeah, totally.

And you turn the ice around the chest to water, reaching out before you, creating this like tube of liquid between you and the chest, which starts to like . It's kind of like stepping into Stargate. Yeah, exactly. And you step through the water and the chest also kind of floating up towards you a little bit. And you're able to grab it. But then you're like, as you're going back up the tunnel, you're like, man, I made this thing so roomy. Wait, did I make it this roomy?

And then you realize all of the ice around you is turning to water. And this entire place is starting to just like fill with ice cold Arctic seawater. Shit. And Billy and Tuck, you and Maggie and Perel are standing around the entrance of this place. Tuck, confident, comfortable in the fact that you got your chest. Yeah. And Tuck is saying that he's like, I think we can all agree, regardless of what Ving is doing in there, I'm the one that got here first. So I have dibs on whatever's in there.

Cause I said dibs when I got here. I wonder what Ving's doing in the hole that I found. Just want to let you know, I found the hole. Yeah. Maggie, did you know that you found the hole? Yeah, I did. I did. You kept, you keep talking about it. Yeah. Yeah. But like, whose hole is it really? That's a good question. I can't remember who found this hole. It was me. Perel says, I found the hole everybody. Guys, are you freaking kidding me? I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding.

Are you fucking kidding me? Perel, you did find the hole. Thank you. Thank you so much. You start shaking everybody's hands. Fuck this. You guys are being assholes right now. I found the hole first. Tuck, thank you for your support. I couldn't do it. Bubbling water. Let my hand go. It was so awesome that you helped Perel dig the hole. I gonna, I am going, I'm, I'm going to fucking lose my mind at you guys. Perel, your hole's going to kill us all, Ving says as he's coming in.

Ving pops his head up out of the hole as the ice around it starts to like melt and turn to water. It's like coming out of a hole in the ice. Oh my God. Holy shit. And as, as like the greater piece of ice, like that the hole was adjacent to, melts away, a humanoid form is revealed. Whoa. Grotesque, kind of a blue gray, crystalline growths all over its hands and its arms. Whoa. Revealing a twisted human form and I'll fitting armor, massive hulking shape, completely dead. Whoa.

And the water melt or the ice melts and reveals another and another. Until there's like half a dozen of these creatures under the ice. I grab Ving and I pull him away from the melting ice. Yeah. Here, I got you this. Slam down the huge chest. And Tuck feels about two inches tall right now. But then Ving says, I bet you feel two inches tall right now. And then Vick is like, truly the greatest way to be superior to other is kindness. One tear.

He's like, I thought this large brute was being superior by staking his claim and being violent. But this skinny effeminate man is still the Swinton of a person. And the ice continues to melt. And it's clear that the ice inside this gatehouse was holding it up in a way where as eventually the, the stones themselves begin to melt. Yeah. And it's starting to collapse in on this structure. Guys, as per usual, elemental mastery, uh, is just a name. I do not have mastery over the elements.

We need to get the hell out of here. Elemental amateur. So do we all like throw ourselves onto the, the, the fur again? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Vick goes, you have failed pathetic thing. I knew you would, but it's time to go now because I am at risk. Yeah. So Tuck grabs the chest and he drags it back to the. What is that? And Tuck is like, it is another challenge to your strength. The Vic. That is nothing to me. Get on the far.

Also, you can keep calling me Victor if you want, I suppose, pathetic creature. And he grabs the rope and starts running you back out of the tunnel. And you see, as you turn around, like one of these like humanoid hands, like Bob up out of the water. Oh, geez. And you see Victor being dragged further down by the stone. And Victor continues on through the tunnel, drags you along for the remainder of the day, basically. But he eventually comes trotting to a halt.

Says, I've made it to my destination in a day. I'm sure you are impressed. Wow. Whoa. I'm, I'm actually impressed. Thank you. I'm glad to hear that you've seen the things for what they are. My superiority. I wish you didn't have to say actually, but they'll take it. Actually was a little pointed, but okay. And here we are at the tower of the wizard. Cool.

He throws his head in the direction of, uh, like, it looks like a, a mouth of teeth, basically, like stalactites and stalagmites of ice flowing into each other, creating these bars. There's a gap in between some of them, but so narrow that like even Billy couldn't just fit through. Billy, the widest of all of us. Not possible for Billy. And he goes, our agreement has been fulfilled. I've brought you here. Now I will take my leave of you pathetic things. Please don't go. I must though.

I am cursed to be alone. Well, I'll be sad to see you go, I guess. What? No. Yeah. You're so soft. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're so soft. So cute. I like gingerly pet him. He like tenses up when you reach out to touch him. Such fluffy ears. Maybe I will stay for a little bit. But only because I am choosing to. I will wait outside the gate. Oh, of course.

And I choose leisure. I choose to lay down here on this ice and relax. And Tuck arranges the furs that we rode in on so that it's like kind of a comfortable comfy zone. And I was like, if you want to. I will. But I'm because I'm taking it from you. Okay. Because of my superior powers. Sure. Yeah. Oh, I wish I had this now. Oh, I bet you do. Pathetic cock. All right. Jesus. It's a word I heard a long time ago from some trackers and I've used it because it feels powerful.

And Tuck's like, okay, here's some jerky. I'm like, okay. I'm like, okay. Jerky. Jerky, eh? Okay. All right. I shall be here until I choose not to be. You're your own wolf. I am. And now I slumber. Then he lays his head down and you hear him start snoring right away. And you're standing before this gate of ice. Perel is like walked up to it and put his hands on the ice. It's cold. So cold. And then Tuck's like, Maggie, you're the one that knows. Like this is the only place I can go.

I'm like, I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Maggie, you're the one that knows. Like this is a Mender Vault, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a Mender Vault. Is this, do you know how to get in through this gate? Oh, um, if I'm being honest, I just know about this vault. I've never actually been inside it. Okay, what do you know about this vault?

I know that this thing- Yes? Is here. Ving says, I have an idea. He walks up and he goes, Lothalino-la. What was that? Yeah. Yeah. What are you doing? I don't know. I was just making up some elf sounding words. So what do you do? What do you do? You're like waving your hand? Yeah. Wave my hand in front of it. Yeah. And he drakes his hand across the ice. He was like. The ice flows up into the ceiling. No way. Down into the floor. What? Did those words work? Ving's like, his eyes are really wide.

And he's like, and then he turns around like, like, like real cocky pace. Like, shall we go in? Oh, looking for this? The entrance? We start walking in, but Tuck goes over to Ving as we're walking in. I'm like, what the fuck did that? I don't mean. I have no idea. What do you mean? I don't know. I just made up sounds. Wow. And so Billy's like really impressed by Ving right now. I didn't know you knew all this magic and stuff. Yeah. Well, pretty, pretty, pretty knowledgeable of some stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. Tell me about it. See, you don't always know. What you know, you know, until it comes to use. Whoa. That's so deep. And with this cocky explanation of a random happenstance, you enter into what is immediately clear to be hand carved structures. Oh, you pass right through the gate into like a more squared off hallway with tapestries on the wall, a rug on the floor, and you see a room just beyond this hallway.

And you know, as you pass into this room that you have well and truly entered the tower of the wizard at her neck, all water. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long, everybody. Playing Ving, the half elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone.

Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music, which you hear at the beginning and end of the show every single time without fail. You can find all of Aaron's. Original music at Aaron Reed dot band camp dot com. Thank you to all of our supporters around the world supporting us on Patreon. If you would like to support the show and get access to a bonus game, bonus audio content, art, gift boxes, and a whole whack of shit.

Check us out at Patreon dot com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore dot com slash money, please. And finally, thank you to all of you for listening. See you next time. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3. Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week To hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

If you like our show and want more of it, you can check out patreon.com slash Spout Lore for an extra bonus game, bonus content, videos, and more. Thank you for watching. Spout Lore. Spout Lore. Spout Lore. Spout Lore. Spout Lore. Spout Lore. Spout Lore. Spout Lore. Spout Lore. Oh, that we haven't opened yet. Right. Oh. Finn got that for Tuck. Yeah. Right. I was kind of a piece of shit. Yes, you definitely were. For like no reason that I'm able to discern.

It's Tuck gets really triggered when he sees a pile of garbage. It's the garbage kid inside of him. Yeah, that makes sense. My garbage. Whenever Tuck sees a pile of anything, he has one solitary thought. And instinctually, it's like there's probably a pizza crust in there. No matter what it is. Or maybe a whole pizza that someone threw at him. Oh my God. Because that happened one time. That one thought is followed by the other one thought is, that's mine. Yeah.

I still think of that pizza that someone abandoned. A whole butter chicken pizza. Oh, yeah. Unbelievable. You got to pick up a pizza that someone leaves on the ground. It was so good. It was an expensive one from the joint. Oh, yeah. It was a large from the joint. It was probably like $45. What if it was abandoned? Like just left on a planter. Like out in the courtyard. Just a pizza. Do you think it's still there? It was there for three days. It's gone now. This is recent? Three days.

Like a raccoon didn't even touch it. It was a few weeks ago. Yeah. Oh, it's very well guarded in there. Yeah. That's how safe your building is. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Not even a raccoon. To get a butter chicken pizza. Oh, God. It looks so good. Do you guys remember when I lost a pizza to a skunk once? Yeah. Right. Yeah. That skunk had such a good day. You fucking believe this? This is sad. That's so sad. It was insane because I was editing the podcast and I was almost done.

And then I got the notification that the pizza arrived and it was like 1 a.m. And I was like, I got to get this out. So I spent another 45 minutes finishing it and then publishing it. And then I went downstairs and pizza wasn't there. And then I looked over the fence and there was just a skunk in the box. So he had pulled, he dragged it over the fence. Whoa. Powerful. Yeah. Oh, that's so fucking funny. Oh. Okay.

So then after that, you entered this chamber, the infinity of the night sky stars, as far as the eye can see, glittering through the ice tunnels, winding away into infinity and an old stone watch base guard post of some kind smashed and frozen into the ice. Tuck and Ving had a little comp. Well, Tuck had a competition with Ving. Yeah. It was a one sided competition. For sure. Perel tried to take part in it and push himself to the ground. He slid across the chamber. Yeah.

Ving hopped down into the ice through a hole that Tuck revealed, finding a chest frozen into the ice, using a little elemental mastery to melt things so he could swim down and grab it, losing control and melting the ice in the entirety of the guard chamber, revealing twisted humanoid corpses. We grabbed the chest. We booked as the tunnel began to melt around the guard post and escaped into the last tunnel, which, uh, ended up being the entrance or an entrance to Addernack All Waters Tower.

We arrived at a gate made of frozen stalactites and stalagmites. Victor, the wolf said, I, it's time for me to go, but I will stay because I want to. Uh, he was easily swayed with a comfy bed and a kind word to stick around while you guys go inside. We spoke to Maggie briefly about how to get into the tower. She revealed that she's never actually been inside it, just that she is aware of it. And then Ving got through it. Yeah.

By waving his hands around and brushing the gate and saying some elven words. Mm hmm. And that is where we find our heroes now inside the tower of Addernack All Water. The room that you're in seems to be like a sitting room. Almost. Is it made out of ice? Yes, it is made out of ice. This whole place appears to be carved out of ice and that it's ornamented in a way that seems very natural and organic. Yeah.

There's like icicles that grow up and around things creating like sculptures and chandeliers and things that like funnel and amplify light. Cool. So it has the vibe of like a very fine home. Oh. Like 19th century, like a very fine place to live, but completely made out of ice. Like when you go to your rich friend's house and you're like, wow. A whole different dining room. Yeah, exactly. If you were to go to your rich friend's grandma's house. Yeah. Where it's like.

It's like a little bit of a like through the walls of the place. Like if you look really hard. You can see the corridors and chambers beyond. Oh, cool. And you can see it goes above you a ways where it gets a little bit brighter as you go up. And then the light is like, you can almost, you can see it through the walls as well that the light is filtering down and reflecting off like crystalline structures within the walls so that this whole place is quite brightly lit. Whoa.

And you can see it descending far, far below you. Holy shit. Oh. Should I just like discern realities? I want to know if there's like books or something. I want to know if there's like books or something. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, God. Damn. Garbage roll. Garbage. Those dice are shit. They are, but sometimes they're good. I don't know. I think it's that one specifically because I can see that it's like missing a chunk. Yeah, you little piece of shit. Sorry, that one.

You stay in the bucket. Yeah. So you get a point of experience for that. But you do see there's a little bookshelf, but it looks like a welcome guests bookshelf where there's like novels. Yeah. And nonfiction history. Oh, holy shit. Wait, like an Airbnb? Kind of. Yeah. It's kind of got an Airbnb bookshelf vibe out here. Brochures of local oddities and things to do. All the nice restaurants. Yeah. Yeah. So there's some books and you can grab them if you want.

There's a fucking Dirk Adventureman book here. Yeah. There's a book right there. It's Dirk Adventureman and the Adventure of the Ice Princess. Whoa. Have you read that one? No. I've never even heard of it. Now, when you make this gesture, does that mean you've picked up a book? Yeah. Grab the book. Okay. Show it to everybody. It immediately flips open from the cover and starts snapping at your hand. I punched the book in the face. Okay. Roll a hack and slash. Okay. Fucking sneak up on me, book.

13. Okay. Roll your damage. I fucking hate books. I've been waiting for this forever. And when I get a 10 plus, I can inflict damage twice if I put myself at risk, right? Yes, you can. Yeah. Okay, cool. And I think it's an additional D6. Yeah. It's not twice. So that's seven plus two is nine. Nine. Okay. Well, it's a book. So you just punch it and it just explodes. Like pages everywhere. Like you're holding one side of the cover and you just hammer this thing.

But as you do that, you hear like, and all the other books start like clamoring off the shelf. Holy shit. And like hopping across the floor like clams. And there's just like a dozen and they're like, like flapping across it. I'm kind of like not. I'm scared of them. So I start like stomping on it. I can't read. I can't read. What are they? They're teeth. But roll a roll a D8. Okay. Five. So you take nine damage. Holy God. Why? Because you get swarmed by books. Oh, okay.

Is it just like a bunch of paper cuts? Oh, yeah. Because their pages are folding in the way that make them like teeth. And they're just like. Shit. Whoa. As Tuck is being swarmed by books. Oh, God. I'll do something. I will. Oh, one sec. Sorry. Guys, he's fucking books. Billy's never been more scared than Tuck being attacked by actual books. Yeah. Like, I'm just like, the nerds are winning. So he does. I don't know. He like rolls around a ball trying to squish as many as possible. Yeah, totally.

Nice. Roll your hack and slash. Six. Would you like to aid? I would love to aid. Yeah. Beautiful. I'm lawn bowling you. Yes. Okay. Two D six plus bond. Well, we're so bad at four. Holy fuck. Dude, you only have four HP right now. Oh, God. That's true. Right. That was just an aid. I'm going to. But you failed. Huh? We're all taking damage right now. So Ving rolled Billy at Tuck in an attempt to help with the books, but he was not. I used my arm that time. Stab through. Oh, yeah. That's a failure.

Yeah. Maybe the aim is wrong and I hit a bookshelf. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Yeah. You're hitting down more books. You hit a different bookshelf. And yeah, so you get rolled past to like the bookshelf on the other side of the love seat. I think that he's rolling around. All these books are flying. Oh, these are just books. I'm going to use fairy child to turn my failed roll into a seven to nine. Perfect. So roll your damage. Five. Okay. And roll a D six. Two. Two. Okay.

So you're just going to take two damage because they're not going to swarm you. Okay. Because they're not going to swarm you. Okay. Okay. So they're still swarming tuck. Yeah. They seem to really be piling on me. And you hear me go, guys, I don't have my glasses. I don't know what these books are doing. But Billy, you like rip a couple books off of tuck and stomp on them and they go like and then flatten out on the ground. Okay.

Ving, you pitched Billy the wrong way, but he was able to get back up and grab some of the books. Maggie has rushed forward. Perel is kind of running around the outside of the fight. Like a crab. Back and forth. Like, okay, what am I doing? I'm going to get involved any moment now. Bro, they're just books. Yeah. But they're not just books. Are they? Knowledge is power. He's like gently kicking out at one of the books. Ving, what do you do? I'm going to use a fight with honor and get some chi.

Yep. Ten. So I get three hold. Okay. So I'm going to cross the distance between myself and a foe. And I'm going to use a three hold. Okay. So I'm going to use a three hold. Okay. So I'm going to use a three hold. Okay. So I'm going to use a three hold. Okay. So I'm going to use a three hold. Okay. So I'm going to use a three hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold.

There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold. There's a four hold.

That is that's the one that is chomping on your nuts it couldn't resist yeah and then another book called uh dude where's my horse yeah it is uh on your elbow yeah that's a western yeah it's got two confused cowboys on the front what do you do I elbow the one book into the other book but I end up elbowing myself okay in the deck yeah roll it to roll it hack and slash eight okay perfect so roll your damage okay my damage four and then roll your damage again nine so you uh crush the two books that are left for sure yeah and then deliver nine points of damage to your own dick and balls you really overestimate the the force required to kill two books I mean the elbow is like the hardest bone in the body it is yeah hitting the second hardest bone in the body you got there first I was like how can I make a boner reference it's just like a shock wave of energy as tuck connects with his own balls okay cool guys I got those books off of me I'm gonna lay down here for a little bit okay yeah maybe we should uh I mean hopefully this is the only threat here but maybe we should rest up a little bit I'm gonna use a poultice okay just to get me is there anything anyone can do to maybe close off this room um billy starts shoving some of the like chairs into like the doorways yeah totally he's scared to touch anything he's like no books do not touch any paper no more books uh yeah go make uh defy danger intelligence seven okay great you start pushing the furniture in the room into the doorway and you're pretty sure that that will hold and I do like the like wiping off my hands like I did a pretty great job I'm protecting the family from the doorways and I'm like I'm gonna do a pretty great job I'm gonna do a pretty great job I'm gonna do a pretty great job yeah exactly that's a job well done for billy uh a job well done for billy how many poultices do you have uh three more well now you guys would have the opportunity to make camp okay if you so choose yeah because I have eight hit points yeah that's not a lot rest up let's see make camp when you settle into rest consume a ration if you're somewhere dangerous decide the watch order so you'll have to do a watch order if you want to like rest rest okay if you have enough you may level up when you wake from at least a few uninterrupted hours of sleep heal damage equal to half your max hp billy what's your hp at right now I'm at 13 so I'm doing okay okay I'm at eight so you should sleep I'll sleep ving sleeps and then I will guard you guard and then I'll take second watch and then ving you take third watch yeah I mean I don't really sleep but yeah I know I got you I'll chill out okay I'm gonna commune with the whispers of this place which means probably the ice specifically yeah I'm gonna commune with the ice yeah the resident spirits of the ice all right so I'm gonna roll it come on whiz 10 okay you sit down cross your legs do your whole meditative stance body scan body scan put your palms flat on the ice here and you move a beautifully woven rug to the side so you can touch the ice underneath and uh you extend your perception into the ice itself um I move the ice to the side so you can touch the ice underneath and you move your face to the side so you can starts to glow glowing that frozen sound and a little bit of ice steam is like like dry ice is coming out of it and falling onto my lap oh cool yeah you look like one of those cool incense holders that's like a dragon or something yeah you look like that fuck yeah and uh you feel the immensity of like this glacier but you feel your senses extend past the bounds of this building and you feel the into the ice itself.

And you realize wherever water has come to rest in this place and has frozen, it has joined the immensity of the North. And that this whole place is connected, woven together from the tapestry of life itself. And you feel below you an expanse, concentrated life energy, like a boiling, roiling pool of pure being. Whoa. But you feel for sure that it is beneath you. Great. That is helpful. Yeah. We go down. Well, you rest first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We go down.

That was a question Ving asked everybody. We go down after nap. Yeah. Tuck is like, Oh, he's down. Yeah. So there is a watch. So Tuck is going to sleep. I guess that means if you're bedding down in a dangerous land, decide on a watch order. Then the GM chooses one person on watch during the night to roll plus nothing. Ooh. Billy. Okay. 2D6 plus nothing. We can do it. 2D6 plus nothing. No big deal. That's going to be a 12. Close enough. 10. Okay. Holy shit. Yes. Awesome roll, Billy.

The night passes without incident. Billy's doing a lot of walking around. Like patrolling. Nobody's getting in this room. So seriously. Perfect. And yeah. At a certain point in the night, you see a dark figure, but it's just Vic who came in here because he was lonely outside. And he's dragged his furs in. Oh, look at this. That's so cute. This room is far too nice to be purely inhabited by the likes of you. You're a pathetic creature. This is where I shall rest.

I mean, this is definitely where the finest of people lay down. And the finest of wolf. Yes. Yes. The very finest of wolf. The very goodest of boys. And he leans his head down a little bit as you're petting him. Yes. The finest of wolf. The most howling of dog. I will sleep now. Okay. And if so happens, half moon shape. Okay. Half moon shape in my belly section is revealed. Perhaps creature wish to rest there as well. Wow. Oh boy. And he says, I'm willing to sleep now.

Not because I am surrendering to sleep, but because I have dominion over the domain of sleep and dreams. I feel like that's how you fall asleep. I must go crush this slow death of slumber now. Make victorious the slumber. Make victorious the slumber. Make victorious the slumber. It's a time of night. Yeah. The night passes without incident. So everybody gets a decent sleep. When you wake from at least a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, heel damage equal to half your max HP.

Can you do some Holtas on me too. While you're sleeping because you would not. He wouldn't. Oh, I'm fine. It's not. L şu. So while he's passed out. What do I do is. I roll them over and put his balls directly on the ice. To cool them off. They're so purple. It does not look good. So gross. Billy, what is your HP and what's your max HP? I'm at 13. My max is 21. Oh. I'm okay. That's not too bad. I'll be fine. I don't get hurt a lot. But do you want a poultice? How many poultices do you have left?

I have four. Okay, I'll take one. Yeah. So many. I bought, remember I bought, I spent mucho money. Right. I get a lot of band-aids for all my paper cuts. Right, it's mostly paper cuts. God. He has really sensitive skin. It's all on his joints too, so whenever he moves, they like hurt again. And also it stings when Ving does it, so that's why he's like, no, I don't want, no. I don't want, no. Ving's a little too clinical with it. Yeah. I'm back to 20. Yeah. We're doing good. Thank you.

I'm back up to 26. Hell yeah. Holy shit. You guys are basically full strength. What are you concerned about? It's the next day. Do you get fair? Child? Yeah. Nine. So I get three hold for today then, seven to nine. And you feel it's a little hard to get like the full effect of the sunrise down here because it's filtering through. Yeah. That said, it's still beautiful and glittery. It's like a palace, but made of like living ice almost.

And now you are faced with a doorway basically directly across from the entrance that you came through with about a knee high barricade of furniture. That Billy created the night before. Oh, wow. Good job, Billy. And Billy puffs those chest like, thanks. I mean, no one got in here, right? So yeah, obviously it was amazing. I bet there's so much trying to get in and then tuck goes up to it and he like very like God. Okay. Oh my God. Be careful. Don't hurt yourself. Talk.

I know you guys are faking it. I know what you're pretending. And Perel goes up to one. Of the furniture pieces and goes, no, Billy, really. It's so heavy. Oh my God. Billy puffs up his chest a bit again. He's like, okay, what the fuck did he do to this? And he flexes. It doesn't look any different. Tuck didn't realize it because he's so strong. It's like Billy like stuck it to the ground or something. Tuck just ripped it off. Billy looks back and he's like, I don't think we can fit the trunk.

Oh yeah. Tuck's been dragging the trunk this whole time. Maggie's like, finally, somebody said it. I think it's time to open the trunk. And Tuck's like, oh yeah, okay. And he smashes the lock open with his axe. Yep. Smash brittle ancient steel just shatters and the chest is openable. Oh my God. Oh boy. Dice time. Chest time. Yeah. Roll. Go ahead and roll a D 20, I guess. D 20? Finally. Holy shit. Oh wait, sorry, sorry, sorry. 3D6. 3D6. 3D6? 3D. Wow. Sum them up or what? Uh, yeah, sum them up.

Oh my God. Sum 41. 7. 8. 13. Okay. So this is interesting. So the first thing that you see is there is a sculpture made of jade. Oh. A carved sculpture of a woman on horseback. Dibs. Holding a spear and a shield. Ooh. Like charging into battle. Cool. Like a carved jade statue. Can the shield and spear be made out of ivory? Yeah, sure. So yeah, it's a small jade statue with a small ivory spear and shield, but carved with almost like lifelike intricacy. Whoa, cool. Yeah. That's very cool.

And you would estimate it to be worth roll 4D4. Uh, 7. So you would estimate, based on the fact that you guys have stolen lots of stuff and sold it, that you could probably sell this for 700 coins. Whoa! Holy shit! Wow. Based on its age and the fact that it's so beautifully carved. Uh, the other thing you find is like a really beautiful gold like necklace. It's like, it doesn't bend at all. It's like a hard piece of metal in like a half moon shape. Oh, I like those ones. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's very, again, beautifully made. Though more, maybe, rustic in its craftsmanship. But it's made of pure gold. Oh, cool. Uh, and the last thing you find is a little bag made of cloth that when you pick it up, it kind of jangles. Jangles a little bit. There's something in it? Yeah. Open it up. We'll see what's in there. You pour into your hand six obsidian coins. Oh, I get this one. Whoa! Holy mackerel. Are they all black? Yep. All black obsidian. Sick! I got six more of these things.

Oh, wow. We're definitely going to have demons soon. Does that mean I get the necklace? Yeah, you get the necklace, Billy. Oh, boy. I figured you'd get this because you were most excited about it. Oh, Billy, roll 2d6. Five. Okay. Yeah. Probably 500 coins. Okay. Wow. But, you know, mostly just a very beautifully made necklace and some coins. Can I roll for these obsidian coins to see how much they're worth? Uh, functionally valueless. Oh. And then you can see Tuck become Surly. Oh, no! I don't.

But to Tuck, they're priceless. Yeah. In that they have no price. Tuck, you can have the necklace back. No. And Billy's, like, trying to get off his fat head. No, Billy, that's yours. I am awarded with things that are as valueless as me. Whoa. No, I'm not gonna say it. That's really striking deep. I like, I like this. Yeah. Surely there's nothing to, like, glean from this chest of random valuables, is there? What do you mean?

Nah, it's just, like, we've got some valuables that were recovered in a fort and then six obsidian coins that we know to be used by a terrible secret society. Oh, shit. Do you think these belong to the Dark Guard? Well, I think that it's a little convenient if they didn't, that they're in a little pouch altogether. Holy shit. So all of this shit might have belonged to someone in the Dark Guard. Uh-oh, do you think this has Dark Guard energy? Ah, poof. Billy's, like, tugging the necklace off.

Get it off, Billy, get it off! It's getting tighter! It comes off. Yeah, it pops eventually. Ugh. So the Dark Guard was in the north? Do you think they were trying to track down Addernack, too? Mm-hmm. I mean, if I had to guess, I and I was a mercenary for a good number of years. The boys that we met in that tower, rest their souls, might have just been looters. Uh. But maybe at the behest of the Dark Guard. Okay. You know, maybe so in Discord? I don't know.

Because that's what the coins are for, right? They, like, use them to mark people that are potential subjects for possession. Right, yeah. And who better than a bunch of greedy backstabbing mercenaries? Right. Just a thought. Huh. You guys do this as a job, right? This is like your profession is adventuring? No, our profession is stupid. Alright. Well, let's go up or down in this terrible wizard's tower. Down! Uh, yeah, and you cross through a very ornately iced…

Iced doorway into what seems to be a dining room. Oh. A long banquet. Like a really, sorry, nice brass doorknob. Yeah. In, set in an ice door. Totally. In a door made of ice. It swings off on, like, hinges of ice. Like, cranking of ice, hard ice on ice. Yeah, so when you, actually, when you open it, it, like, cracks. Oh. Oh, great. And then you open it and it swings open a little smoother. And inside is, like, a big beautiful banquet table. With, like, gilt chairs. So nice in here.

And, oddly enough, plants. Like, living centerpieces. Whoa. Billy goes and tastes one to see if it's real. Well, it tastes like a flower. But, yeah, it's real. It's real. Yeah, you just eat, like, a chrysanthemum. Like, yep, that's a chrysanthemum. Tuck wants to go, like, touch the soil and see if they've been watered recently. Ooh. Actually, okay, so you reach in to touch the soil. Doink. No soil. What? Yeah. Not, not a scrap. Hydroponic. Hydroponic.

No, like, this is a beautiful holder that it's being kept in. It is made of ice. Okay. So maybe that's something to do with it. But, like, the plants have no soil. Weird. Magic this way comes. What are they rooted in? Are they just sitting in ice? They're just, they're not rooted in anything. They actually don't have roots. Hmm. Is there any dust on any of this? Um, no, because there's nothing to make dust. Oh. But you can roll to certain realities. I should have not said that.

And I shouldn't have said the flower thing. But, Tuck touched. But, so that makes sense. Yeah, 2d6 plus wisdom. Uh, 11. Okay. Three questions. Uh, everybody pick one. Okay. What here is not what it appears to be. Great. Mine's what's valuable. Who's really in control here? Great. Cool. Um, yeah, there's a banquet table. There looks to be, like, a fireplace carved out of ice. Oh, that's weird. It is weird, isn't it? Um, I mean, maybe that's what not, what is not what it appears to be.

Billy's, like, thief sense. Is like, that's weird. And then also, I bet there's a secret passage in that fireplace. Yeah, so he starts, like, rummaging. Yeah, and you feel like the smallest, most imperceptible of seams inside the fireplace. His fingers are trying to open it up a bit. Click. As it starts to slide aside. Uh, yours was… What's valuable here? What is useful or valuable to me? So, yeah, you hear the click, and you hear Billy do his, uh, his secret door gasp. And you think…

Secret door. We look at each other. Secret door. Secret door. No, it's my door. I found it first. Yes, you did. Amazing. And, uh, Tuck, you're still looking at the flowers, like, what the fuck is going on here? Yeah. And, uh, you realize with your increasing, not expertise, but canniness about the nature of magic Yeah. That it must just be, like, pure vitality keeping these things alive. Hmm. Like, it's not soil, it's not water. It's life. It's just life. There's just, life energy in these?

Just fucking coursing. Oh, cool. Absolutely pumping through this place. Okay. Oh, Perel, just easy, buddy. It's just, can you guys not feel it? I can feel it. I'm just not freaking out like you are. I'm amped up. Do your shirt back up. I gotta sit down. Tuck realizes that, and he just takes one of the plants and just starts eating it. I take an entire centerpiece out of the middle. I start eating it like a, big flowery apple. Yeah.

You, so you eat it and the wounds on your body from the books that bit you, you feel like your body, you kind of go like, ooh, it's your body like, like you just vibrate for a second. Uh-huh. And then you looked at, you feel something on your skin and you look down and the blood in your cuts is like bubbling up like it's been touched by hydrogen peroxide. Whoa. Oh, God. And, uh, you feel it like start bubbling down your arms. What the fuck? And as it bubbles away, the wound, the wounds are gone.

Oh, shit. Yeah. I want to eat one. Yeah. Oh, God. And you heal a little bit too. Huh. Pumping yourself up. So do we have a plus one? Yeah, you get plus one health. I'm maxed. You can't have more than max health. You just let me. Oh my God. He's right. I did. Okay. You get plus one. Okay. I was also at max. I'm going to take a 20. Oh, fun. Billy, what are you at? Um, I'm at 20 so I have one left. You want a bite? Oh, wait. I already ate one. Oh, yeah, you ate one. But it's not enough.

Yeah, you need to eat a whole one. Billy, you need to eat a whole one of these. Fine. And he's so upset about it because he's like, I don't want to eat a vegetable. And Perel was like looking around and was so like Billy. He hears Billy say that he doesn't want to eat a vegetable and he turns around and sees you all eating flowers out of this pot. He's like, what are you fucking doing? We're like, look, it's healing us. We're juicing.

Did we not literally just have a conversation about not ingesting magic shit? Yeah, but look what happens. And I take off the band-aid and it's all healed. I'm like, oh. Oh, in that case, if you ate it and your wounds miraculously disappeared, never mind. Billy goes, magic. And then when he does that, Tuck goes, magic. And he does jazz hands. And Bing slides in on his feet. Magic. Wow. I mean, even Maggie's eating them. I just wanted to see what it tasted like. It's kind of good.

It tastes like a lemon chicken soup. Isn't that weird? Mine tastes like garbage pizza. What? Oh, do they all have? And Perel walks up and grabs a leaf and he slowly puts it in his mouth and chews thoughtfully. That's beef stroganoff. Is it like all of our favorite foods? We got a bit of a Willy Wonka situation going on here. Bing's like, my favorite food is black licorice? That's a hard way to find that out. That's kind of embarrassing. I do love it. What was yours?

Oh, I didn't really taste anything. That tracks 100%. I tasted everything. Everything, everywhere, all at once. And then everybody suddenly remembers that Billy found a secret passage. Yeah, he's like pretty upset that no one paid attention. So he's like, I think I'm just going to go in here alone. And he starts closing the door. Wait, where's Billy? Not that anyone cares. You guys see a secret door in the fireplace start to swing shut. I jumped to put my axe in it. Defy danger dexterity. Eight.

Okay, yeah. You catch your fingers in it. You take two damage. Oh no. I have three over. You have three. Never mind. It just hurts a lot. Ow. Billy, god damn. And I think it's just like wine and cheese. Back here? Yeah. Holy shit. It's the fridge. Oh wow. Oh no, Billy found the walk-in. So Billy, you enter this darkness and you take the barest sniff and you know you're in a pantry. I'm very quiet at this point. So, he found food.

And you just see a wheel of cheese be kind of pushed towards the opening and then another wheel. And then I'm like as I push the biggest wheel. The biggest wheel. Yeah, so Billy's just, it's only wine and cheese. That's the only thing. You know, a log rolling these wheel of cheeses. And Billy's completely ignored the wine. Like, he's just pushing cheese out this door. But yeah, there's now a bunch of wheels of cheese. Tuck's eating one of the wheels of cheese.

Yeah, Billy's got a chunk and he's walking around touching more stuff. Yeah, Maggie's eating a big ol' hunk as well. Should we, is there like which, where are we going right now? Yeah, that's the thing is you don't know the layout of the tower. So you're kind of forced to explore. Bing, what direction do you think we should go? The strongest feeling was from below us. That's where it feels like I think it's where the plants are being kept alive. It's probably where this cheese was made. Okay.

Everything is coming from below us. Alright. Yeah. Can we go down? Is there a way to go down from here? Yeah, there's a bit of wandering. You find like a kitchen that just looks like a straight up like old school. Like 18th century kitchen with like big stoves and Cool. All that shit. Some of it's made of ice, some of it's not. And I call back, Guys, there's a kitchen in here. Oh, do they have like some food? I look, I start opening cupboards to see if there's food. There is a bit of food.

There's a little bit of food. Oh my gosh. Do they have turnips and apples? I actually do have turnips, yeah. There's a big, holy shit. Oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy. Oh boy. Yeah, and I walk back into like the dining room chamber and I'm like, yeah, there's like a whole bushel of really alive turnips here. Well, Billy scrambles up like a squirrel. And he like bites Tuck's hand and Tuck's like, whoa. Sorry, I know I'm excited. I haven't had a turnip in years. Do you like them raw? Yeah. Crunch.

And they're so fresh. Yeah. Oh my God. They taste so dirty. There's still dirt on them and Billy's like, yeah. This is how you know they're good. They're disgusting. Like you pulled them out of Farmer Bill's field just a couple of seconds ago and you're still running away from Farmer Bill. Yeah. That hot mud on your mouth, you know. You know the feeling. And you kind of explore a little bit more and there's like, this seems very much like it's, this is the entertaining people spot.

But you come to a door, again, made of ice with the brass doorknobs and this one is locked. Okay, I'm going to try to unlock it. Using tricks of the trade, if that's cool. Yeah, of course. Yeah. 2d6 plus dexterity? A 10. 10. Yeah, how do you unlock it? Okay. I found a key. Yeah, totally. That absolutely makes sense. I'll just take this, rolls out his. Yeah, like while I've been snacking, I've been opening everything. Every drawer, every cupboard. So I've got a lot of stuff.

You found a lot of keys. There's a lot of keys. He's just going through all of the keys he found. One of these has got to be it. One's a sour key. Yeah. Just mushes in there. Take it out, eat it. Click. Click. Door swings open and reveals a staircase carved out of the ice that it's a curving staircase and you see that like where you are on this landing, it goes up into your right and down into your left. That looks dangerous. The curving staircase? Why? Because it's made out of ice.

Most people die falling down the stairs. Oh, is that true? In this world and in ours. Yeah. People die falling down the stairs? Yes. It's the number one. It's a killer, stairs. That's the number one cause of death? In our universe and theirs. All right. Let's go down. Let's follow the energy. Yeah, very well. So you begin to walk down the stairs and you find that they are not slippery at all. Just very nicely carved ice stairs that are easy to walk down, thank God.

Probably by design or by magic. So this is nothing. Like home alone. Thankfully not. Although the wizard Kevin McAllister has come. And you get down to another door to the next landing. And the door keeps going down, but you're like, you're passing a door basically. You can go in if you want. What's in there? Creek. This looks to be more like a, like a ballroom almost. Like a ball pit? Oh, like a dancing. Like a ballroom. Oh. Like a Chuck E. Cheese ballroom? What the fuck?

I genuinely thought, it was a ball pit. Oh man. That's so fucking funny. One of us is a dad. So funny. So cute. And Tuck says, someone says, oh, it's a ballroom. And you hear Tuck like shuffle down. What? You run a ball and Lance gets it. And it does like a cannonball. Yeah, and he looks in and he's like, fuck. Fuck. This sucks. You got my hopes up for nothing, Perel. I got what? You just sounded so excited. I'm so excited. As he picks himself up from the floor. What are you talking about?

Who assumes a ball pit when they hear ballroom? We raise our hands. Everybody raises their hands. So what do you guys do? You see this big old ballroom in front of you. There's, there looks to be a piano made of ice. Wow. A few like music stands. Some tables around the sides. Can you discern realities? You absolutely can. Two V six plus wisdom. Nine. Nine. So you go. Oh, uh, uh, assist. Hey, what? Uh, yeah, go ahead and roll to the six.

I was going to say for the listeners, what they don't know is every time somebody rolls a nine, I dart my eyes between the two remaining players. 12, 12. Beautiful. Holy shit. Making it a 10. Nice. He's down low and he, uh, like, I don't know. It was like spinning around the ballroom. Looking around. I was thinking that we both, we were like, let's run a slide. Yeah. Uh, uh, spinning, spinning, sliding, taking it all in like a Google scan. Nice. So what are your questions?

Um, what here's not what it appears to be. Excellent. So, okay. So you and Billy start spinning around as you run into the middle of the room and start spinning, you grab onto each other. You're kind of twirling across the ice. We're sound of music in here. Yeah. And as you spin across the floor, music begins to swell. Whoa. A beautiful waltz just starts to play on instruments that can't be seen. And then as you, that sound. Sound of a record player. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, totally.

And then we slowed down and every time you move, it's, well, it seems like you've activated something because as you're watching this music play, as you're listening to this music, as you're watching this music play with your ears, you see, uh, it looks like for a second, you're like, are there other people dancing here? And you see two exact copies of Ving and Billy. Yeah. Yeah. And then you realize on the floor. Whoa.

They kind of come from the ground up like boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop being built. And as this is happening in front of you, this sort of like printing thing, like strands from the bottom up, you see like strands of bone and flesh, like knitting themselves. Oh my God. Like in the fifth element. Kind of. Yeah. Yeah. There's like two people being built in front of you. Holy shit.

And then as tuck Maggie and Perel are standing there across the room from them, their mirror three people that look like tuck Maggie and Perel, they're dancing partners come to being across the room and they start at least the two that, uh, you guys are mirrored are dancing with each other. And you see the tuck Maggie and Perel mirrors start to walk over to you three. Okay. Tuck waves. He's like, hi, tuck. Hi tuck. Whoa. Cool. Oh yeah, buddy. That's awesome. It is awesome. Cool. Yeah.

Hi, I'm thing. Hi, I'm thing. I don't like this place. I like it a lot. Oh, I don't, I don't like what's going on here. I love it. Says little Billy. No you don't. Yeah, I do. I want to dance. I don't want to dance, but I want to dance. And Billy starts backing out of the room. I want to dance. I don't want to dance with you. And he pulls a little knife out. I pull my little knife out. Yeah. And the big tuck pulls. His ax off his back. I pull up my spear.

And Maggie draws her sword and Perel holds his hands up and goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What does the other Perel do? He backs away. He's like, whoa, no, no, no, no. And they attack. Oh shit. Yeah. What do you do? Um, can I, uh, use an ear for magic to figure out what's going on? Yeah. So tuck brain. We go back to the mind palace. Yeah. And we're like, we're going to the pizza hut on fourth or whatever. Yeah.

There's a tuck wearing a pizza hut uniform, holding a hot, fresh tray of Hawaiian baby. And tuck takes a slice of it and he's like, what the fuck is going on here? Well, it's like a dance, right? Yeah. So maybe this place is made to like make a dance partner for guests, but if you're not a guest, then your dance partner is actually the bouncer. Oh shit. So if you're supposed to be at a party in this room, it seems like this place creates a dance partner for you as like a fun little gag.

Oh, okay. But if you're not invited. Then the thing it creates is to get you out of here. Oh yeah. Okay. Okay. And then tuck talks to the other tech and he's like, do you think it is related to the music that started when they started the thing? That sounds like you're trying to get two answers for one question, bro. And then tucks like, fuck, why don't I have more mental capacity for this? Yeah. He's like, yeah, you're right. My brain is tired of thinking now. Yeah.

I had to guess as you're leaving the sit down pizza hut. If I had to guess, I think it's probably not on theme and the door swings shut. Okay. And you're back in the ballroom, your dance partners attack. What do you do? I dance. I like, I grab him. I move his energy. I started doing like Tai Chi. Yeah, totally. Like a fight with honor and like kind of doing a fight dance. Oh yeah, absolutely. This is a real, um, like capoeira sort of situation. Yeah.

I was thinking more like in that old music video when they are like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like have knives and their hands are tied together, like beat it or whatever it is. Yeah. Pretty cool. Yeah. So V comes at me and I, uh, I beat it. Wow. And he stops. I'm just going to put the A plus B stops dead in his tracks and he's like, no way bro. That's awesome.

Uh, yeah. So go ahead and roll. This is a fight with honor. Yes. Wow. Great. I got 12. Okay.

That's a whole shit ton of holds spend one yes I would love to I guess I just want to distract him by dancing like twirling him around and then I'll leap over across a physical obstacle and like we're in a real sense there's a real sense of danger in this room I'm trying to get that feeling too or is it no I honestly can't tell like the vibe of stuff because it was very friendly yeah it was very friendly at first and then it turned sinister yeah but it was because we turned sinister that's why I'm wondering if we go back to dancing that's why I wanted to dance it's a great question that is a that is a good theory to oh wait you get one more question oh yeah what's about to happen so what's about to happen is you notice as you like lunge at your dance partner he is pulling away from you it seems like ving is the only one that's not being attacked but he's the only one that's trying to dance right now guys start dancing really yeah dance okay and tuck uh did you guys realize you've never seen tuck try to actually dance oh my god I can't dance uh he goes uh you see him like do the weird like white guy dance or it's like okay are you biting your lip uh okay roll 2d6 plus charisma I guess that's really all dancing is yeah arms up doesn't matter if you're good at dancing just it matters if you believe you're good at dancing 13 wow yeah so you start doing like your your mirror like pulls his mirror larry terry and chad down from his back and is like dance bro and tuck's like I am dancing and he does like one of those ladder moves he's like can you do one of these then he starts bobbing his head a little bit and then tuck goes dance competition bro oh my god and he puts the axe back on his back and he's like you're fucking on bro you!

And just starts like breaking it down in front of you but with the exact level of skill that tuck has so it looks like shit you get to see how bad of a dancer you are yeah it looks terrible tuck is like he he could feel an explosion of embarrassment in his chest when he's like oh my god no that's what I've always looked like it's like when elaine videotapes herself yeah but the you is having a grand old time and keeps dancing away and then tucks like he's does it starts doing body rolls and he has not practiced them billy what do you do uh billy does billy ever dance like not really I've never seen billy dance billy like stops and he like tucks his knife away and then he's like is there a snack table there is a snack table you're gonna love it quick while everybody's dancing let's go wait sorry you I gotta make you roll that's okay so 2d6 plus charisma eight eight okay perfect uh so you run over with uh the mirror you who's like tripping over himself trying to get to the ice tables at the back and he uh it's like listening to two bowling balls smash their ladder across the floor that sound effect of the bull on strike yeah there's one of those insane strike videos on the tv above uh and he climbs up on the table's like come on up here I'm never that agile slowly up he's like oh come on he doesn't know what kind of snacks are on the table maybe yeah and he's like I'm so tired and then he opens his eyes and what does he see it's like meats and cheeses and there's gravy for gravy everything fresh fruit and hot chocolate yeah hot chocolate and you can tell this billy even immediately avoids the meat uh-huh and you're like oh fuck he is a copy of me because he's like going straight for like vegetables and fruits and cheeses and shit like that and then he goes right for the gravy that's my boy but there's something that you notice just before hurricane billy 2 right hits the snack table what is it it looks like someone ate some of this food ving what do you do um I start going to uh perel and maggie and like grabbing them and twirling them around you when you force somebody to dance yeah so I'm grabbing them as a music partner and maggie tries really hard she's stumbling around and she's like I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this a little bit and her copy looks really mad when she stumbles and then maggie's like stop stop stop stop I know what to do and she listens for the beat for a little bit and she hooks her thumbs into the belt of her pants oh my god she starts square dancing oh no and the other one lines up it's a line dance they're doing a line dance oh wow and it took like ashamed for maggie averts his eyes because for him it's like seeing his aunt like totally at like like dirty old johns or whatever what's that bar called big bad johns big bad johns yeah you see somebody in your family and big bad johns you're having a bad night oh god uh and perel you see perel has walked up to the copy of himself he's got a whole routine extreme swing dancing like oh yeah between each other's legs I thought you were gonna say like napoleon dynamite oh I mean oh yeah but like like tag teaming it yeah it's it's definitely a uh routine that he has memorized that his copy was just given and he's like yes finally uh but ving remains the matter of what do you do oh yeah um uh he starts going through all different movements of animals he's going through like oh yeah dancing like a caterpillar he's swinging around and like moving his little butt um then yeah you copy you goes through the exact same thing and then you're like oh my god I'm gonna do this animal movements mirrors them perfectly or complements them perfectly it predicts kind of what you would have wanted to go with a specific move and executes it flawlessly and abdul's been dancing this whole time it should be said abdul's been dancing for like 10 minutes so much energy and uh as tuck thinks I can't possibly continue this much cardio for this long what he actually thinks is I don't think I can handle watching myself embarrass myself for this long and in his head tuck is like maybe I have to kiss him to make him go away wow okay roll 2d6 plus wisdom oh the thing I have negative one on yeah three three uh so you think oh my god I think I definitely have to kiss this version of myself so you see tuck's dance become a lot less elaine from seinfeld and a lot more magic mike he starts like what like rubbing his chest and the copy mimics you exactly but has like a oh kind of look on his face and is gyrating around and you get closer and closer he reaches out to you I reach out to him you pull each other close you've never felt this close to another man I yeah I kiss him and just as your lips are like a millimeter away from touching the song ends and he backs away and he's like oh my god I can't do this and he's like oh my god I can't do this and he's like oh my god I can't do this and he's like oh my god and he bows and a tuck also bows but his you can tell that his hands are in front of his crotch and all of the copies back away billy your little snack buddy backs away with like handfuls of snacks and bows dropping a bunch billy bows his head and ving backs away and gives you a very delicate bow I nod and uh maggie and parell's both that parell one has tears in his eyes and the maggie one's gotta look in her face and he's like oh my god I can't do this I can't do this that says you goddamn son of a bitch you did it again parell's one puts a finger on parell's lips he's walking away no I just want don't speak and then they they melt into the floor and they disappear and then tuck looks around to see if anyone's I'm trying to make out with himself billy's just looking around and inspecting the food really closely billy looks very detective like he's got his magnifying glass out he's just got his little deerstalker cap on like what foods did they eat the meats and cheeses okay um oh wait no discern realities what am I fucking thinking oh six well somebody can aid billy for sure I can yeah I can go over and because I noticed that billy was looking pretty detective-y over there great and I'm like ving I think billy found something nine perfect yeah so that makes yours a seven to nine which means you get one question from discern realities what happened here recently what happened here recently uh you noticed when the books came alive that you felt like buzzing in the air almost like just a little kind of ozony like electrification kind of vibe I feel like it was from like the bottom up like from her feet up like yeah like that vitality is coming from oh yeah the ice and you felt a similar feeling when you ate the flowers and you felt a similar feeling in this room when the the copies uh when the dance partners appeared yeah when tuck was about to kiss himself no yeah we should talk about his hands it's okay I thought that that was the only way to get rid of them is it that's a bold jump I thought you had to kiss them and if that wasn't gonna work I was gonna try and fuck them I would go so far for this family you don't want to know how far I'll take this but you realize that you actually felt it during the time that you were in the room and you felt like you were in the room and you felt like you were in the room and you felt like you were in the room and you felt like your watch like the night before you felt that like which leads you to believe that these canapes are also a spell basically that someone activated last night oh so someone else might be in here with us someone watching us who's really in control here oh yes finally because you still had one more left over right I did fuck yeah you're god damn it I shouldn't have asked you that second question that third question uh so you look around and everyone is now now that billy's like something's up because you guys know billy's senses are near supernatural um and he's near food which doubles doubles the range and efficacy of his senses so whenever billy's like something's up everybody goes on high alert and you're looking around this room and you get to a part of the floor because like the dance floor is kind of ice and tile like it's a very nice place to be and you're like oh nice like mosaic kind of pattern cool but uh ving you're looking down at the mosaic and through the ice you see a shadow move one floor down two floors down you're not sure but something below you moves there's somebody down there and tuck takes his axe and tries to smash through the floor okay 2d6 plus strength okay nine and okay sorry and but I I also used an ear for magic and I get a plus one forward okay so you raise the mighty larry terry and chad into the sky above you and you bring it down with a huge crash a roar and as you're doing that you like make this connection you're like it's going to try and heal itself and sure enough you smash through the floor and immediately it starts knitting back together so you just hammer and hammer and hammer cool and you you cut through it you'll be able to get through to the next floor for sure but you guys are gonna have to rush because this ice is like filling in behind tuck billy bolts for the stairs and you're like oh my god I'm gonna oh you're gonna head them off at the door to the room below smart smart smart billy thing follow me yep six shitty this is my aid okay yeah go for it too six bond yeah slide down the stairs oh lord I get six as well oh lord tuck you like crash through the floor yeah superhero landing yeah slam into the ground and you see on the other side of the room the door slam shut fuck you are in a chamber of this looks more like a workspace than anywhere else you've been what's what's around me roll discern realities uh okay eight eight so you get one question what just happened here what happened here recently yeah someone you see like a little like glass it looks like a candle made of ice that like has been placed on a table also made of ice that is like refracted and amplified some light at a workbench and there's like books open and like a quill in a pot of ink but the book has been knocked over oh so they left here really quick so I grabbed that candle because it tuck can't tell if it's important or not and he grabs the book and then he runs after the person yeah totally uh billy and ving you both failed yeah um so you're just stuck at the door for a while as billy tries all the keys because the door locked behind you when the when the trap activated it locked behind you hurry hurry hurry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry we're fighting each other for the keyhole the keys keep falling and uh perel's like go go go go go go go but uh maggie tuck you hear like a pat like on the ground behind you and maggie's landed in this like cat stance basically oh and she comes sprinting after you nice uh and you guys hit a locked door tuck kicks it okay 2d6 plus strength fuck you wizard nine nine um so you kick it off the ice hinges for sure I still have the book that I took and the candle which one do you drop oh the candle wrong choice fucker no way uh and the candle you actually kick the door so hard and like slam into the rubble behind it that the the candle shatters in your hand it cuts me up a lot I mean it's it's ice so it does poke you pretty fucking hard okay but uh you hear like another door slam below you just as billy and ving burst through the door one level up oh yeah ving backs up the other side of the room and he's like I'm just gonna ram in then I just start like train running out of that with my shoulder as billy like I got it why right into the door uh and you guys are gonna tuck and maggie are going to be alone for the immediate whatever happens next but you will catch up um and yeah you keep going down the stairs yeah I pursue hard because it's we've been in danger too many times and someone else is in here pulling these strings and tuck he got really mad scared mad he got scared mad that his family was in danger and he also got like idiot mad that a smart person was like was bullying him with their knowledge and embarrassed mad that somebody else saw him smooch himself yeah and also ashamed mad that he had to watch himself and his terrible dancing and apparently all these years he thought he was a good dancer it was a bad dancer all of these years all of these years all these many many years everything is going through tuck's head he's like how dare you make me watch myself dance and uh you get down to these doors the doors are locked billy has the keys tuck just barrels through the runs yeah two to six plus strength again 10 okay yeah bang this one doesn't shatter you just like slam it open through you break whatever lock but the door itself is still intact and you enter into a wide circular chamber ringed by shelves and on the shelves are a variety of objects that have no discernible connection there's some crates in one corner and then like a glass orb a vial with a single rose in it a glove a mask and tuck walks up and he grabs the glass orb and then he yells if you don't come out right now I'm starting to smash this shit and man he's like I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna kill you and she goes tuck no I put it down no I'm done tuck it's gonna kill us I don't fucking care wait no yes I do wait it's gonna kill us you're like holding it like what don't you see what this is you lunatic what this is the vault put it down and then tuck uh realizes that he might be holding the magical equivalent of a nuclear bomb and he's like okay puts it down okay all right let's just wait for the others I feel like whoever we were chasing they outplayed us we shouldn't have come in here this is dangerous and billy and ving you arrive at the door that has been broken and tuck is gingerly putting a glass orb back on a shelf and actually perel walks through the door because he's like I'm gonna get there first oh my god I'm an adventurer too and he gets through the door and he kind of stops and goes whoa what like he gets light-headed like he almost falls over he's like oh I grab him what's going on magic is everywhere and he's like immediately drawn to the shelves and starts picking his way through whoa ving feels very spread thin here oh right because you're all spirit guy yeah so the magic is like fucking with you yeah does billy feel anything yeah this is like an old like font of power and uh billy tries to push perel away from the shelves yeah and he like kind of absent-mindedly like nudges you out of the way no no not yet he close he snaps himself out of it we're not ready for that yet okay okay can I go into shadow world yeah will that do anything I don't know I want to find this person yeah totally midnight waltz bring somebody else oh oh should I bring should I bring perel you could bring perel yeah how many fairy holds you have left because remember you have to use two three okay yep so you'd be really running yourself ragged if there are any super dangerous things I'm scared you can just use your eyes too you know you can peep around yeah but we haven't discerned realities in here yet it's true but also it's a cool fucking it is very cool and I don't trust because I'm like we've we've been discerning realities all over this place yeah yeah I feel like I need to see through everything totally absolutely makes sense uh so for the listener if you haven't heard the level up uh billy has a new move called midnight waltz um when he uses shadow dance for every additional fairy hold he spends he can bring someone or something with him perel do you want to come with me yeah it's gonna feel weird and you have to hold on to me you can't let go okay all right billy I trust you nine so I'll spend two of my fairy child to bring perel with me yeah but because of the because I got a nine I only get one hold yeah totally so you enter the fairy from this place what does it look like it is light and shadow like a lot of light and it's very geometric ish looking just because of like how like all the sharp angles of the ice there's a lot of magic in here there's a lot of magic so it's probably not a lot of fairies yeah there's no fairies I'm the only one and it's very like echoey because it's so empty to me yeah yeah oh cool yeah like really I'm just seeing the ice and like you guys yeah maybe ving's faint ving is very faint you're the faintest of all what do I look like um you just look like like I like billy's just like that that's a shadow but it's warm like warm in like in terms of like his emotions oh nice can you see the the shards in my chest um yes those are dark oh cool like dark like like it's like sucks in light you know yeah little black holes and with my hold I just want to like try to talk to whoever it is or find them yeah so identify them somehow it's a very confusing feeling because you know someone is in here you can feel it yeah like you can count the presences in this room and you know there's at least one more but you can't see them perl can you see them and you look over at perl's like spirit fairy form he's glowing like a star holy shit like he is just brilliant right perl can you see who's here perl is unresponsive can you hear me I see everything and he's like extending his arms like he's basking in this energy that he's feeling and you see that his fairy form is growing brighter and brighter but dangerously bright uh-oh you can tell that this is too much okay um I'm sorry perl I have to let you go I am the universe and I let him go and he slams back into his body and he's just like what happened you were convulsing yeah what he maybe he comes to and like like we're doing cpr yeah ving's got his fingers in his mouth to keep him from biting his tongue I put my wallet in his mouth yeah barack is president but he like he spits out your hand and the wallet and he gets up and he starts like wandering kind of side to side looking at the shelves what happened in there perl are you okay I just and he holds up his hands and he billy you see this like you see his form get up like the body kind of through the mist and I follow him and he's like I'm not gonna let you go I'm not gonna let him yeah and he's leading you to one section of the shelf and you're feeling this pulse like okay there's someone else here there's someone else here but your body's also like or your mind logically is like this doesn't make sense and it looks like he's walking towards a rolled up piece of fabric what so I touched the fabric and perl like I can't really feel anything you can't feel anything but as you reach out you see perl reach out like in sync with you okay and he grabs this rolled up piece of fabric it's probably about a piece of fabric and he's like I can't feel anything I can't feel anything I can't feel anything I can't feel anything I can't feel anything I can't feel anything I can't feel anything a meter wide and he unrolls it and he's like god is back to all of you but you just hear him say morris and he like turns and he's looking at a portrait of like a rugged older like maybe 60s kind of squat burly man with mutton chop sideburns but no mustache or beard holy shit long gray hair and you're looking at this portrait of him looking very regal and the portrait blinks and that's where we're gonna end it for this week holy shit I'm your game master Sean O'Hara thank you for joining me joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz wow holy shit playing ving the half-elf druid paul hoppers haunted painting playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica wow exciting thank you to aaron reed for our intro and outro music you can find aaron's original music at aaronreed.bandcamp.com and all of the songs produced for the show written by abdul and myself very occasionally myself and performed by aaron reed at uh soundcloud just search Spout Lore I would say the best song was written by you oh please terry not so good you're too kind you wrote the the druid and the drowned man it was yeah terry not's like a real song that you would hear in the witcher and that is my benchmark for what good music I would say that is all aaron he made that song so fucking cool we should we should listen to all those songs while we eat chicken yeah chicken and that's right to victoria's chicken world and thank you to me for ordering chicken world thank you to abdul and congratulations you guys did a good enough job at this episode that I will let you eat this chicken thank you and I won't throw it directly into the garbage in front of you like I do every episode that you don't do a good enough job thank you sir thank you thank you to the the the chickens for giving up the lives those times that we sorry for wasting it that we weren't funny contractually I haven't been able to eat because I've been doing so bad on the podcast lately and I would like to thank you to the raccoons who are not getting chicken tonight I know they usually wait by the dumpsters every time we record a crowd gathers they know they know they and they pray we will not be funny uh sponsor us chicken world we talk about your podcast all the time uh your store all the time on our podcast imagine there was a chicken world podcast I'm making chicken just like every other night and then they're like holy shit there's a crazy order coming in from herald street they want so much chicken let's cook it live a chicken world world podcast uh thank you to all of our supporters on patreon uh if you want us to support the show you can find us at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or speltler.com slash money please uh and thank you to all of you for listening we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly you!

Spellore is publicly funded by listeners like you Go to spellore.com For more quality family programming Like Arthur and Mr. Rogers Neighborhood You get special limited edition PBS tote bags You hear that Fred Rogers We ripped off your shit and we put it on our Patreon Look we shit talk a lot of people I will not stand for any Mr. Rogers Slander on this podcast I'll fucking drop kick Mr. Rogers' grave in the face Mr. Rogers is cool but Fuck you Mrs.

Rogers She was a real son of a gun You know what Mr.

Rogers would let you drop kick him And he'd be like are you okay Did that make you feel better You're being really violent why Gather round friends let me tell you A tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute a druid and a thief Who is but nine years old You know them by name You know them by deed Their quests are famously daring So Here I sit Singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute He knows not his home He loves to sing and fight Fingers half-elf He shifts his shape And wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief His tiny size Does Max the largest part Best and brightest They may not be But their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends And listen close For the tale of three heroes noble and bold A tale's about to start A tale's about to start Where a woman runs a you do I mean that is 100 our move yeah you guys have consistently lived in the sitting rooms totally you go into a fancy place this is the nicest most deluxe room I've ever been in I'm never leaving it's a little cramped but it's beautiful there's a bowl with keys and shoe mats this fully betrays our dumb kid like personas actually in real life where we are where the kind of kids that would walk in and be like what a beautiful home you have it's like this is our mudroom and a beautiful mudroom it is mudroom my I slept in the mudroom of my house for years for real yeah 100 as a kid it was great I loved it I had a bunk bed with no lower bunk but like a desk underneath I felt so cool that's pretty cool um until I was six foot two like 180 pounds climbing up a rickety bed like king kong yeah you know at a certain point when you're a really large teenager you don't need a ladder on your bed anymore you just kind of lean forward yeah you're just so horny your giant bone zone pops you up there every night your parents every day your parents are like squeaking squeaking we gotta get rid of sean's bunk bed it's creaking too much there's so much creaking I have to tighten those screws every day every time he wakes up his bed is like four feet further away from the wall because the legs are so tall any of any movement because apparently no one had ever been kind to victor yeah he's a rescue well we like to think that he rescued us from the time tunnel that broke our minds uh they just hung out for a little bit got some rest took a little nap and during the night's watch tuck checked out the book case in the foyer with a brand new copy of a dirk adventurman novel that he hadn't read before and was swiftly attacked by all of the books on the shelf uh the party did battle with that's the last time tuck's gonna trust a book you already were weary there's some kind of metaphor for sure is what tuck says uh they survived the book battle uh moving further into the building and discovering a dining room with a beautiful centerpiece of flowers that they swiftly discovered were not planted in anything but perfectly alive uh billy of course at this point ate one and found that he was vivified revived in a way his his his biology singing with the the energies of the flower giving him one additional bonus health point against my better judgment so of course the rest of the party began eating flowers so they're all fully healed and then some yeah uh then next the party continued their explorations of the tower discovering a ballroom upon entering music began to play and as if from the very seat self exact copies of the party knit themselves together from what appeared to be true flesh and bone asking if they would like to dance and upon refusal they were attacked very quickly by their dance partners until ving convinced everybody to dance with them maggie did some uh square dancing with her partner perel with his perel did a beautiful emotional napoleon dynamite style dance interpretive dance and a woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman's woman right I'm gonna do mouth stuff first you solved the dance puzzle you just had to dance until through the ice movement was seen on the floor below the shadows light ving and billy booked for the door with perel tuck smashed through the floor as it attempted to heal itself crashing into the workshop below the room as a door slammed on the other side the party did a chase down the stairs kind of chasing each other but also chasing the person that they were chasing arriving in a room surrounded by shelves covered in mysterious items tuck arriving first found the room empty of people and then immediately said I'm gonna smash everything in this room if you don't come out right now maggie talking down the party arrived billy in an attempt to find the hidden pursue we took perel with him into the fairy realm using his new move midnight waltz upon which perel was almost immediately overwhelmed by the energy he could feel billy continued to dreaming his magical gene oh he fucking creamed him hard dude thalmic thalmic lee dreaming his thalmic genes yeah because this is a hot spot too so this is like drinking from a fire hose so actually that's another thing that we just suck and cream out of a hot spot a hose oh yum oh my god billy no get away from that hose billy jessica's never been more on board cream hose um billy sent him back to his body but remained in the fairy so they could keep looking around and perel found himself wandering over to a rolled up piece of canvas that he unrolled exclaiming morris and the party saw a portrait of a wizard presumed to be morris wadge which then turned into a picture of a wizard blinked and that is where we find ourselves now billy is still in the fairy realm yes yeah and perel is holding a portrait that has blinked and the portrait starts to shake in his hands whoa and kind of like flap a little bit and he drops it he backs away and drops it on the ground what was that piece of cloth too heavy ving says and goes and picks it up and perel doesn't know like as you're going to pick it up the portrait starts to you know in like like in the fairies world you know like looney tunes when someone gets like crushed by a safe and they're all 2d and they start to lift themselves up but the end of who frame Roger of it yeah that's what I was thinking yeah completely flat the man in the portrait begins to lift up from the canvas and starts to like origami unfold yeah like his limbs start to extend creepy and then there's like slices of him that are filling in behind wow coming facts 3d yeah he starts to becoming like three-dimensional and within I don't know 20 seconds 30 seconds there is now a man standing before you he's on the shorter side probably about five six five eight but broad you said he was really burly stocky yeah and he's wearing previously very fine robes that are now tattered maybe like a kind of burgundy and gold sort of like paisley ish yeah you know like kind of floral and guilt mm-hmm but really tattered and then he's got big mutton chops he's kind of balding on his head maybe like it's receding he's got a high like widow's peak oh cool and then no mustache or beard what's the hairstyle I think like bullish you know like a old king oh yeah yeah I was down and totally I expect I'm imagining it like swept back for the most yeah kind of long almost like down to his shoulders like he's been living rough for a little while yeah okay like maybe this was a really nice hair haircut two years ago he still has the time to shave the mutton chops and Perel is just standing there slack-jawed tuck is being very quiet cuz you know it's it's a big moment am I still in the fairy world or can I pop back oh you can pop back in yeah yeah I'll pop back in yeah totally so you make sense if something is yeah there's holding in the room there's a big like disturbance in the shadow world you said tuck throw up yes and I'm like I'm gonna throw up I'm gonna throw up I was like oh I should get back there yeah so you all have the mints you like you need some help so yeah I'd like the the energy that Billy saw in the fairy world on the portrait has like blossomed into this like bright shards of light I like yeah yeah the spectrums holding and now it's weird it's this like it's like this glowing torch now almost what Perel looked like when he was here but now he's quite dimmed in his material form and then he's like oh I should get back in there and he says hello Betty and Perel steps forward kind of like shell shocked Perry Dexter's crying Harry this name is so sweet I've never thought of I didn't know we could give him a nickname oh yeah Billy has big anime tears and Perel we all hugged him together we all see him behind you guys are just hugging the end of a George Lucas movie looking at these people meet again crying silently quivering lips and Perel is like gasping almost he's like and then he just balls up his fist and he punches Morris right in the nose he's just like you son of a bitch you left me you left us and there he's like trying to grab Morris oh I tuck goes forward and he holds Morris down get him wraps around Perel to hold Morris down it's like he goes it looks like he's going for Perel to stop him but then he holds Morris's shoulders and pins him to the ground between you and Morris get him I imagine tuck is like pretty like gentle and businesslike about it too like just there you go Perel here you go do whatever you need to do let uncle tuck help you and yeah Perel feeds him a couple more hours and it goes slow-motion pink haze and I need you know and Morris very notably is not really fighting back he gets slugged a couple times and then Perel stops and grabs him by the front of his robes and pulls him up and hugs him and just holds and is you can he's like shaking tuck is also holding Morris so now they're hugging inside of tucks arm arms and then tuck like hugs them both can we go I want to go hug I'm going inside hug so Morris emerged from a portrait from a two-dimensional plane to get punched in the face three times and now he's being hugged by people he doesn't know okay I go hug well I go hug I hug Ving's leg yeah who's on the back of Morris yeah and Perel's got his face like buried in Morris's like neck and he's just hugging him so hard just breathing it in yeah and then he pulls back and he kisses Morris and he just looks at him like he's just looking in his face and then Perel's like I get you guys can get off did you get it do you want me to know just stop just chaos and pride it's like also leaning with his eyes closed with his lips I like I guess we're kissing now is this is this not is this normal now is this like a this a normal part of your life yes it's hard to say I'm not sure if I'm a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman a woman wadge big fan uh of course you would be wouldn't you love this guy love his attitude and uh uh billy is like kind of shy and he's like um do you guys want adult time should I go wait out in the hallway oh uh no billy no no no I think everybody has some questions I know I've got some fucking questions I think you've mostly got questions and yeah if you've got fucking questions we don't have to be in the room when you ask them hey it's understandable I I I can look I can answer any questions you want are you alone here yes are you telling the truth yes why would I lie I don't know you're a wizard oh because I'm a wizard I lie that's that's what you're suggesting well we're also here looking for someone else we didn't really expect to find you who are you looking for all water good luck you what's that supposed to mean I've been here for weeks not a soul until the three of you why are you even here oh uh yeah that's a great question tuck that's a great question uh how did you what are you how are you here it's uh it's difficult could we go somewhere maybe more comfortable I well you know we could go back to the fanny pack we have that right yeah billy takes it off of his waist and he starts setting it up morris you sees the fanny pack and laughs I can't where did you get this what did we get this we found it in a treasure worm and then a bird gave it to us treasure worm wow I mean what do you think it's beautiful it's pretty cool yeah it's home to us yeah it's nicest tent I ever stayed in yeah I was gonna I was gonna mass produce these things but this ended up only being a proof of concept it's really cool it's we've uh and then tuck realizes that it's fucked up and something like that yeah it's really cool it's really cool it's really cool it's really cool it's really cool it's really cool it's really cool it's really cool it's really cool kind of took liberties yes we lost track of it for a while and some kind of stuck in there You know, I'll get, no.

You guys stay here. Yeah, you guys should hang out here and we'll go inside. Yeah, you don't want to be in here. It's got a lot of things written on the walls. No, that's, I mean, I've seen it. Oh, right. You were in it. I was. I wasn't sure who had it, so I didn't stick around for long, but I did take a quick visit. Let's just, let's go in. Let's go in. Okay. I've had enough of this ice. It's not, I don't love it thematically.

You know, it's not my proudest work, but let's just, let's head inside. Okay. My face is getting cold. Not so much on the sides here, but right in the bottom. Right in the chin and the nose area. Right underneath the nose. And, you know, a few minutes later, you guys are kind of arrayed. Morris is kind of walking around with his hands on his hips, just like, ah, yay. This is great. Just beautiful. And he pats like the lintel on the fireplace and adjust.

The portrait and touches the safe and shit like that. I like that. It looks a little bit different here. Things are like, is it more roomy because he created like, and he has mastered space. So space is different. The spaces that he's created are slightly different when he's in them. Space acts different around him. Yeah. It would like know what he wants. Totally. And he would know how to tell it. He can walk towards the danger wall and it just like fades a little bit. Yeah.

Room gets more comfortable. And when he pats the safe, it like automatically. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It automatically repairs itself because we totally fucked it up. Did you put that, that terrible watch robot centipede century. Oh, the century beat. Oh, you tried to get in. Oh, I see. Didn't you use the key? What key? What key? I left a key in the safe. There's no key in there. Perel. Did you not get, you found the letter. It wasn't there when I went in. Yeah.

I found your letter and he reaches over and he takes the letter from Perel.

And it's like a sheet of paper and he kind of grabs the edges and sort of uh rubs them together rubs his fingers together and the paper begins to like fold out from itself and then fold back in and creates this very stylized but simplistic like key shape oh and he says you have lost your touch it's been a long time bro I'm not familiar with this anymore and uh he goes over to the danger room wall and begins unclasping it no no no no no no no no no not do that why not we shoved the broken sentry bead back in there but we don't know what it's gonna do you shoved it back in yeah oh to like the dark place that it came from oh also we have I don't know what effect this will have on the rest of the space but we have been treating it kind of like a toilet yeah you!

We didn't know where to put that stuff so your house didn't have a bathroom in it so we were shitting outside for a while but then we killed the sentry bead and it was this darkness just became toilet zone so you've never been outside the servants quarters sorry this is another foyer situation he looks around look there's a kitchenette yes little sitting area this is the nicest house I've ever lived in yeah this is literally the nicest house I've ever lived in yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yeah it's definitely got like and I like thick wooden beams abdul's it's a blanket fort it's got a blanket fort vibe on the outsides of it but then like inside it's like a very fine living space yeah I love the idea that it is this like vaulted room made out of like the material of the tent yeah but it's like you look up and it's like the spiral staircase goes up to a telescope and it's the night sky oh I love that that's very cool it's kind of like you know how like jasmine's room in the aladdin where it's like kind of indoor outdoor vibe totally yeah yeah so this is the this is the study slash observatory this is but one of many rooms that I designed for the fanny pack there's more this is this was designed to be a portable palace ving's legs give out he needs to sit down to catch his face waving his face billy wave some smelling salts under things nose oh my god sorry fingers fucking reek billy I'm sorry thank you no they wake me up it's the cheese oh my god and perel is walking around looking at this taking it all in there's like yeah there's the spiral staircase that goes up to the observatory there's a balcony up there there's like huge library shelves with books on them and there's like tables and chairs and what looks like a little bar area well I like that he picks up a book and throws it up in the air and lands on the ground and poof pops out into a giant tent like a some of these books are also like you can just take these out to like the other rooms yeah one of them you can pop them into a handsome cat he goes they're pop-up books I like that a lot I love pop-up books yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean this was gonna change everything until you know people decided that uh maybe it wasn't worth having us around anymore didn't you make this so that you guys could just like fuck off and leave make what wasn't like the fanny pack part of like the waywalking project you needed this to be able to live outside of the universe no this was a separate project of mine that the extra planar evacuation project was different.

It was a success, but a failure. Let's maybe take it from the beginning. How did I get here? Is that question one? Yes. And he stands and he grabs a couple books off the shelves and he throws them in front of them and they all just like become like chairs that he stands around like in a semicircle around him and then he takes another and he throws it in front of him and it becomes a lectern. Cool. Alright, please if you don't mind, take a seat. Tuck goes and sits down.

And he reaches over and he grabs a couple other books and he throws one like further away from you that unfolds into like made of paper and leather like a butler. Whoa. Oh, cool. With a tray of like little like cups and plates. Oh, Billy standing up on the chair like, oh boy. That as you're watching, they like they fill themselves with various liquids and foods. Oh, cool. And the paper butler you hear like like shuffles over to you.

Billy grabs the throat blanket and tucks it into his collar like a bib. A full blanket that covers his entire body. Just his arms coming out. Like a snuggie. Yeah. And the paper butler hands out yeah, food and drink. And whatever you take off the tray you find is whatever you wanted in that moment. Oh, cool. Tuck takes a thing and it's ox's blood. Yeah. Because he hasn't had in a long time. Yeah.

And then he is he's wedged because these are you know those university type seats where it's like the desk. The desk folds up and over. So he like he's like too big for it. So he's like trying to wedge himself in and then pull the desk up but he wrenches it off. He's like, all right. He's really small. Just settle in. Settle in. And then as you kind of stop fighting the tape, the chair, you feel it. Yeah, you feel it unfold a little bit more underneath you. Okay. To become more comfortable.

Thank you. And Billy's actually folds in a little bit. Yeah, it's made a little like a baby chair. Like a high chair. It rises up a little bit. So your eye level with the adults. Yeah. And has a little tray. Wings pops out like a lazy boy. Oh my God. Feed up. Feed up. Impressive, right? Amazing. Is this a lemon snow cone? I haven't had one of these since I was a kid. It's whatever you asked it to be. Wow. There's a lot of dirty cubes of beets and turnips and then. Raw? Dirty cubes?

Yeah, they're raw. And then a pot of honey. Yep. Oh, honey pot. Yeah. Beautiful. There is more. The butler keeps dropping off like little samples of things. Yeah. He goes to walk and you're like, oh. Yeah. There's a quarter of an egg sandwich and a quarter of an egg sandwich. Yeah, he pulls a little small amount of sandwich. A quarter of a really big egg sandwich. But like, yeah, magically a full egg sandwich was generated and the quarter was removed. Yeah. And then he has a gravy to go with it.

And then he has a chicken soup with gravy to go with it. And so there's two separate kinds of gravy. Yeah. He has pudding. Savory pudding. And sweet pudding. Yeah, savory and sweet. Rice pudding as well. Sweet. And Morris is just watching this. And an apple that's cut up. This is beautiful. This is like a stress test. This is amazing. I've never had someone so hungry try and use the golem before. It's incredible. There's those like pouches that babies drink from like the smoothie, the goo bag.

There's a couple goo bags. He really likes those. The table keeps getting big flipping. Yeah. And loose Cheerios. This is, I mean, please as much as you want. I want to see if there's an upper limit to this. You sure you want to see more? The page can bring you whatever you want. It's called a page. That's great. I came up with that while you guys were talking. That's so cool. Pizza toppings. Just the toppings. Why am I going to waste my time with the crust? Oh my God.

You brought it up so sheepishly in the end of this. So vehemently. This is just, it's literally like a programmer making a program that is like, I've thought of everything I could and then a user interacting with it and doing the weirdest shit possible. So it's just a bowl with marinara sauce, cheese and vegetables. He brought a pizza and he slid the toppings off onto a plate for Billy and then he brought a full pizza?

And then now there's a little plate with spaghetti and meatballs that Billy's eating with just his hands. Wow. And a side of cheese, grated cheese that Billy's also eating with his hands. Those puffs of cheese. It's been just 10 minutes. We all sat down and we're done. Our drinks. He came by and was like, no, I'm good. Maggie and Perel, who very notably did not sit down or accept any food or drink, have been watching this so long that they got thirsty. They both grab a drink.

Ving's doing that thing where he's eating the bottom of it. Pizza. He's eating three quarters. You just got the mom meal. Yeah, the leftovers. He's eating some marinated beans. I haven't even seen some of these foods before. Borscht. Borscht, I am familiar with. Then just a handful of garden weeds. Like for a palate cleanser. I wish I could speak to the order that designed this spell for me. Billy is like his eyes are glazed over. He's done. I think he's done.

I mean, I think he could go further. If I'm being honest. He's done. Right. The weeds are an indication that you're at. You're like fairy. The fairy hunger is like dandelions are starting to come out of his head. Morris, what were you saying? That was I can't remember. That was astounding. I basically Oh, what? All right. He's like kind of looking at Perel, but kind of trying not to look at Perel because he can just feel the like rage boiling off of him.

I'd like to take this opportunity to answer any of your questions so we can sort of get this out of the way. Carry on with our lives. So, yes. Where did you come from? Where did you go? Yeah. Fuck. Were you going for that? Oh, no. I ruined the joke. I was going to say, where did you? I thought of it, but you know what? Because I respect women and their ability to tell jokes. I did not jump on that. I'm famously a misogynist and I think that it's time we talk about it. Because I am an ally.

I'm so glad how you got there. I know it took some time, but thank you. Welcome. Thanks. Short answer is I escaped. The extra planar evacuation project using a complicated and difficult application of the Thaumic Tunneling Principle which allowed me to arrive at a point not of my choosing connected to work that I have done in the past. What do you mean escaped? Were you a prisoner? Right, I suppose. I haven't actually talked to anyone outside of it.

The Exodus was not what you may have thought it to be. We were deceived. By who? I wish I could answer that, but what we do know, what I do know, is that we thought that we were leaving a world that no longer wanted us for one of our own design. But it was not a paradise. It was a prison. Whoa. What was the prison? It was what we were told. It was a world that we were creating for ourselves. Worlds unto our own, but once we entered, I found I could not leave. But you weren't allowed to leave.

I was unable to leave. It was a one-way hole. How'd you get back? When'd you get back? I was there for, uh… I don't know what year it is. We also don't know what year it is. Actually, we do kind of know what year it is. Right. We don't know what the calendar is, but we did suggest that the beginning of the show took place in the year 420. Because we thought it was funny. No. Yeah. So is it like 422 now? Yeah, it's like 422 on a calendar. We haven't established. Yeah.

Because I was thinking about this. 420 is funny. And then if you go 40 years into the past, when Mall Brats takes place, it's 480. It's the 80s. Oh, cool. Wait, 380s. 380s. It's the 380s during Mall Brats. So it's the 420s right now. Oh, cool. We are in the uh, oh, what would it be called? Like ages. I like coming up with the ages. Yeah. I feel like it's maybe two. Second grieving or something. You know what I mean?

So I know the grief, in my mind the grieving took place at least a thousand years ago. So I think we're maybe like two ages past the death of Rian. So maybe that's what it is. It's the third age. Well, what's the steps of grieving? Not that we have to abide by it. Yeah, like anger bargaining acceptance. Oh, yeah. We are, I guess it's depression now. That makes sense. It's a great depression. Yeah. It was a great depression. Great depression. It makes sense. Year 22. Yeah. Totally.

The most depressing year. And it's like all technology is gone. Everybody lives in like an apocalypse. Yeah. Potatoes are worth a lot. There are wars starting to pop up. Yeah. Third age of grieving. I like the third age of grieving. I like it too. Yeah, that's pretty good. Which is also called like the depression. But like the wizard stuff in the golden age was all the last like couple hundred years. But the grieving happened a long time ago, right?

So it was like that was the war itself was the grieving. And then whatever came after it was the second age of grieving, which ended in like the golden age of technology. And then the third age of grieving is the apocalypse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. So when you tell him that it's 422, he is kind of like wide eyed. I was in there for over 90 years. I've only been out for a month, two months. Oh, wow. Oh, it's been hard to keep track of time.

The first few days after I first few weeks, probably after I escaped, I was not myself. How so? It felt like I'd been dumped into a freezing lake like something had been torn away from me. Oh, whatever has happened in the last 90 years, something is missing and my lack of connection to it. Disoriented me greatly. And Perel steps forward and says, what happened is they fucking killed us, Morris. All of you left and the ones that were left behind were wiped out. It's like a silence. Yeah.

I'm like twiddling my thumbs like this is awkward. My grandparents are fighting. You're a cup. Yeah. My sippy cup. So loud. It hits the ground and then like bounces a bunch. It's clanging for so long. And then when it's done. Sorry. And after the sorry, the silence continues to stretch. And then Billy goes. Yeah. And there's just the occasional like as the page starts to move and Morris holds his hand up and then Billy starts drinking from a sippy cup again. The page is shuffling uncomfortably.

It's like adjusting. It's like origami. It's really crisp shirt. It's basically doing Rodney Dangerfield. Yeah. This thing is basically made of really crisp shirts like it's all folds and flat planes. So it's just like it's a thawing construct and even it is uncomfortable. It shouldn't have emotion palatable in here. And then I I waved the page. Can I see a menu? Do you have a menu? And it reaches into it. It reaches into its coat and produces a menu made of the same paper that it's made of.

And I take a glance. It's furtively over at the standoff between Perel and and I guess they've just been staring at each other. I wonder if they can read minds. They're communicating telepathic. I say that to being really loud. Well, it's only loud because it's so quiet. No, we can't read minds, Billy. He's just not fucking saying anything. I don't know what to say. I don't. I can't believe it. How did this happen? What do you mean? How did this happen? Says Perel.

Now I'm fucking audiobook mode. Hell yeah, thing has got a big bowl of popcorn. This is awesome. The strength of Wizards was never in our magic, and you know that it was in our unity. It was in the gathering the community, and when Wizards first broke that we were left defenseless. We were on our own. Aquaria almost died. I was in prison for a hundred years. And where were you? I was trapped. Perel, I was trapped. I made that world for us.

I said in the letter, I was making it for the three of us. We could have lived there forever and been happy forever. But I couldn't come back. And Perel thinks for a second. I didn't realize I didn't get that from the letter. I said in the letter, I was going to show you that I was sorry I had to leave, but I would show you that it was all worth it. What do you think I meant by that? I don't know. I found a letter from you for the first time.

I read your words for the first time in what felt like a millennia, and I didn't know what they meant. And I was angry and I was sad. Did you really try to come back? And he doesn't even look at he like slams his hands on the lectern a little bit. He's like, of course I did. Why? How could I abandon you? Why? Why? Why would I do that? Why did you think that of me? I didn't know what to think of you at that point.

Honestly, this wizard's first stuff, it feels like it got in your head and it turned you into someone that I didn't know and that I didn't like. And I thought that this was just sort of the final twist. The final twist of the knife was you leaving. And Morris like grunts and kind of like sniffs a little bit and kind of like, I don't know, I don't know. He kind of like sniffs a little bit and kind of coughs and he's like, all right, well, I didn't. I didn't leave.

Now, do you have any more questions? Did you get your menu? He says it so derisively. Yes. Oh man, he's just. Oh, I'm so mad. He says it like Gordon Ramsay. Did you get your fucking menu? Your donut. Yeah, I got, I got the menu. All right. Let's just, let's, let's crack on. You got any questions? Let's get them out now. Okay. Oh. Do we like discern. Oh. Oh. Yeah. I mean, you could discern realities. Or a spell Lora, I suppose. I mean, maybe each of you gets one question. Does woman do. Yeah.

And do we have to roll for it to. Do we get yes. About Lora. Do we get a quest. Lora about it. And that will determine. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. How much Morris actually knows. Oh, smart. Love it. Okay. Okay, so who's going first? Who's got a question? I want to know what Morris knows about the man behind the plan of Wizards First. You know what I mean? Right, yeah. Wizards First sold this idea of the Extraplane or Exodus Project as a paradise, turned out to be a prison.

I want to know if Morris knows who was the person who was actually pulling the strings on Wizards First. Oh, I see. All right, I'll spell it. Yeah. Here we go. First roll of the game. First roll of the game. Fuck. Get 12. Get 12. 12. 12. Shit. Four. Four. And you know what? This is perfect because, so he knows plenty about the people that were involved in Wizards First. As a movement, it formed in the early days of what would become the Wizard War.

As we sort of came to realize that humanity, the mortal people, didn't appreciate what we added to society, everything that we could do and everything they needed from us. A natural and understandable resentment grew amongst us. Wizards, as we realized that people that should have considered us their betters, saw themselves as having power over us, the most powerful beings on the planet. But I was but a piece of a project. The membership of Wizards First was in the dozens.

Easily three dozen wizards working in concert on a task and project that had never been conceived or considered before. Wow. Clearly, there were ulterior motives amongst some of the membership or perhaps an outside force, but I was too focused on my work to have the safeguards necessary to see the trickery that existed at the heart of the movement. Were you alone in the prison? Yes. What? You didn't, you weren't in contact with the other wizards that were?

No, part of the project was that we would create worlds for ourselves. Self-contained universes. I realize now that the key to this plan may have been to separate and isolate us. Oh. If we were able to work together, we may have been able to break out sooner. But unfortunately, I was alone and frankly mad for a number of decades. Whoa. Coming in and out of consciousness and in and out of reality. And it wasn't… It wasn't until I was able to regain my senses that I was able to work on escaping.

Who's next for question? I want to know what he came to Adarnax Tower for. What is he looking for? Yeah, totally. So 2d6 plus intelligence. 11. 11. Oh, smart! Interesting and useful. Yeah. The delta between our average roles is fucking crazy. I think it's because Billy ate so much, so his brain is like on all… It's on. He's finally got all the nourishment he needs. Uh-huh. It's on a different plane of existence. Exactly. His eyes are facing different directions. He's connected to the overmind.

The food baby has arrived. You're the food baby. I am food baby. Like floating with your fingers like this, but there's like corn dogs in your… Oh, yeah. Connecting your thumbs and your middle fingers. He's got little raspberries on the ends of his fingertips. Some bugles, maybe. Yeah. When I was able to escape, I came out in my own tower and immediately was disoriented, as I said, from the lack of, I'm realizing now, connection to the Thaumic field that wizards cast over the world.

I, rather than use my natural ability and my gifts to get where I needed to go to find others, I used back doors that I had built into various towers that I'd worked on. I realized as I left my tower to the next that I was unable. I attempted to return the same way and ended up somewhere else. So something's broken down with the way that my work connects to one another. It seems like it is an unreliable, method of transport.

So I found myself jumping from place to place, hoping that I would find someone. Hoping that you would find your way home. Wait, is that a song lyric? Tex says, you know, you're, you know, jumping from place to place, helping out people whenever you can, hoping that the next jump will be the one that takes you home. Quantum leap. Doing these quantum leaps. Because you said you'd do that kind of quantum leap. Tunneling victory. It's like a thalmic tunneling, yeah. Yep. Thalmic leap.

Doing these thalmic leaps references to a show that the person doing my voice is not super familiar with. But I became wary and cautious, focusing most on my survival. So I stopped making quite as many jumps and I've only been leaving places when I've been forced to. What forced you out? Just kind of overstaying my welcome, so to speak. Some places have stores or places to conjure food. Some places I would accidentally break the spell necessary for clean water, for example. Oh.

And I was, um, I hesitate to say afraid, but definitely cautious of leaving. That's okay if you're afraid. I was not afraid. But you know, sometimes we're all afraid and that's where real bravery comes in. You gotta be afraid first to be brave. Some, perhaps, but not me. You're wrong. And as this back and forth is happening, Tuck is snuck up behind Morris and then he goes, and he actually, he… He folds out of existence for a second. He does.

He tenses, he folds up like a piece of cardboard and then unfolds somewhere else in the room. Oh, that's pretty fun. I was not afraid. That was a natural defensive instinct developed over many years by a professional, unskilled wizard. So you came here because you were like, I'm hungry. I'm gonna see what Adder and X got. I wish that I could tell you that I had deliberately came to this tower.

But anytime I moved, I was rolling the dice, taking a crap shoot, ending up somewhere I'd worked before. I see. Otherwise, I would have been at Aquarius Tower this whole time. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Oh, he's been going from, like, like, tower to tower. Some of those towers are probably vaults. Oh, yeah. And he, he wouldn't know what hotspots are. Yeah, no. Because he, yeah, hadn't seen them. That's probably what it is.

Like, coming back to this world where magic is so sparse, but also, like, aggressive in some spots was probably really disorienting. Right. I feel like his, where he's folding in and out because he's the, one of the engineers of the place, hotspots are where he's folding in and out. Oh, that's a really good point. So if he's going from place to place and where he's ending up is where hotspots are, even if he doesn't realize that, Yeah.

He's being, for lack of a better term, recharged really erratically. Yeah. So his magic is probably all over the place, which explains why he isn't able to direct it. And it also explains why he's, like, kind of looks sort of fucked up because he's, like, being exposed to radiation all the time, basically. And he seems a little off. Like, it seems like he's, like, kind of jumpy and he's distracted a lot. Uh-huh. Because he went crazy, he said. For a while, yeah.

Because he was in solitary confinement for a hundred years. Yeah. Like, Perel. Well, well, Perel at least had this, like, he's only energy state. You know what I mean? Like, he could probably tune out. Oh, yeah. He probably wasn't fully conscious at all. Yeah, until the words started to break. That's probably when he started becoming conscious again. But, Yeah, but, Morris had to be conscious for 90 years. He was in personhood for that whole time.

And Perel didn't really gain consciousness until he kind of was infiltrating Billy's mind. Totally. Right. He was sort of reconnecting at that point. Mm-hmm. And even then, he was, he was mad because he was like, Pilar was still Yeah. A part of him at that point. I like that he was using Billy's phase, the fae part of Billy through the fae part of Billy's connection to his wanting to be rooted in this boy. Yeah. Oh. Like, Billy's, like, really deep connection to the human boy. Wow.

Yeah, because the same way that Billy has used the boy to come into the world, Perel used the boy to come into the world as well. But also, holy shit, I never even thought about this. But because Billy was a fairy, even when Billy didn't remember being a fairy, he was able to use Billy's, like, mercurial, like, way walking Yeah. To sort of leave that Thalmic prison and enter a sort of midway state. Yeah. That's really cool. Wow. Because we've talked about how the three overlap a bit. Yeah. Yeah.

I think we've suggested that the place that Billy met Perel for the first time was in the fairy. Yeah. Yeah. It is. Yeah. That's so funny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's fucking cool. Our show is so cool. It's fucking sick. God, we're good at this. Because the fairy realm is also a constructed realm that the fairy's made, so it has its own rules. Yeah.

I was just, yeah, because I was thinking that, like, the Exodus project was probably, like, a construction site with a bunch of, like, contractors that are like, ah, yeah, these are the plans, this is what we're gonna do. And then the fairy is just, like, a treehouse that a bunch of kids, like, slapped together. It's always like that. Yeah. So cool. Where the nails are alive. Yeah. Yeah. All these nails have names, unfortunately. Uh, all right. You have a question.

Ving wants to know what, knowing what you know now, and in this place, and who you are, and reconnecting with Perel, and here we all are together, what do you want to do? Four. No. Four. Then I think the answer is not good. Oh! So what do I want to do? That's an interesting question. It's one that I have had many answers for over the nearly century that I was trapped. First, I think the answer was I wanted to be free. And then I wanted to be with the ones that I loved.

And then for a long time I wanted to be a horse. And then I wanted to be free of the horse dream. Tuck's like street kid instinct kicks in here. Cause it's like, when you're on the street you get like really used to like being like, Who's dangerous? Yeah, like, oh that guy is not okay. I gotta get out of here. Yeah. And so like, really imperceptibly, Tuck like leans back in his chair and puts his hand on TLC. Cause he's like, Ving sees this. This, this, just became wrong. Uh huh. Yeah.

Um, and then for a long time I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know who I was. And once I remembered who I was, I remembered that I was Morris Wadge, Master of Arcane Architecture. Lord over time and space. And now that I'm back, and I know what's been done, I want to write what's been wrong. This world would fall apart without us and it sounds like it has. Tuck looks over and he notices that uh, Morris, he was like, where he's gripping the lectern his hand is bleeding. Oh.

Cause he's holding it so tight. Mm-hmm. And now, I have a question for you all. Will you help me? Help you what? Put things right. I mean, we're kind of trying to do that already. Right now. Excellent. He like lifts his hands up and you see like blood dripping from his right hand. Oh, like Leonardo DiCaprio? Yeah, he's like got his fist clenched and it's like leaking between his fingers. And Tuck goes, oh god, he's DiCaprio-ing. Excellent. Then the next step is to find others.

Free the remaining wizards. If Perel is not there, he's not there. If Perel was imprisoned, that suggests that there are others. Well, Perel's not really a wizard anymore. Yeah. He's kind of a was wizard. What are you? He's a wizard right now. What are you? Burn. What do you mean? Perry? What do they mean? And Perel steps forward and like, you know, gets up off the like post that he was leaning on. That's all stacked books in a spiral. It's true. I don't know. I don't have my magic anymore.

And Morris, his face clouds. It's like, what do you mean? What happened? Tuck knows what happened and he, you like every muscle tenses in his body. Who did this to you? Nobody. Nobody did it to me. It was a necessity. Look, I didn't take my imprisonment well either. When I was released, I was released by these three. They saved me. A part of me was released as well that represented all the times that I'd gone too far. And I'm a better man now.

But that part of me wanted its power back and tried to take me and these three saved me. And as a consequence, I am currently without my magic, but we're working on a solution. So, yeah, I mean, Morris, I sense the tension. And I'm like, that's why we came to the tower because we were hoping that this tower would lead us to the clues to help our friend, your friend, get his power back. Perel, you said as a consequence. As a consequence of what?

As a consequence of him killing me, we simply made him a safer person to be around. What do you mean you made? And you feel the room start to scrunch in around you. Billy slides out of the high chair and like takes the blanket off. He's like, well, that was a really nice lunch. Thank you so much. We can answer your questions outside of the tent. And out of the corner of your eye tuck, you see Maggie kind of start sidestepping around like the other side that you guys are on.

And you can see your hand like going to her belt, which is kind of a dagger. And Perel starts walking forward with his hands up. She's like, Morris, stay calm. It's okay. Everything's all right. What do you guys do? I don't want to fight Morris. No, you don't. No, we can't. I don't think we can. And here at least. I have an idea. So I rolled the Spout Lore, right? Yeah. And he said that he didn't know who was behind the Exodus project. And I have fount of knowledge. Oh.

Which means if nobody knows about a thing, I take a plus one and I Spout Lore against it. So I want to Spout Lore on who the fuck was actually behind Wizards First and was behind imprisoning and taking all of these wizards off the board. And taking the blanket of magic from the world. Yeah. Because I think I know. I think you know too. Yeah. Yeah. And I want to take a plus one forward which means it's a flat 2d6 roll. I want to hear it. Yeah. Play. Yeah.

Because if I can figure it out that I can give him a different target. I can give him a different thing to be mad at. Yeah. Where it's like instead of fighting us and like humans fight the actual person who took you away from your family. Yeah. Just redirect his anger. All right. 2d6 plus zero. Jesus fucking Christ. That's fine. It's good. Yeah. This is not a pivotal role at all. Nah. It's moments like this that I wish we fudged roles on this show. We're not going to. No we cannot.

Gonna get a 12. Feeling it's a 12. Six. Great. Eight. Eight. 100% I'll eight. Okay. 2d6 plus bond. Coming in. Plus one. Nine. Yes. Okay. So that makes it a seven. Okay. All right. Well I think that Tuck's probably put some pieces together. Yeah. He's back in the pizza hut. The pizza hut palace? Yeah. He's back in the pizza hut palace. The pizza palace. Yeah. And he's he's sitting there eating a pizzone.

And there's a version of Tuck with a backwards hat and like a tank top and board shorts at a Mortal Kombat machine. Yeah. Just so our listeners who maybe haven't heard the other episodes are aware this is like being John Malkovich for Tuck to go into his mind and figure out how to do it. And figure out what he's actually thinking about. He always goes to a sit down pizza hut. And he talks to a version of himself and everyone in the pizza hut is different versions of him. Yeah.

This one's playing Mortal Kombat. And he's got his mouth full of dessert pizza. And he's just like he's like it's obviously a fucking gibbous man dude. And then it's like he's out of the pizza. That was it. That was it. That was it. And then it's just like fucking gibbous man man. Oh my God. Obviously. We spent all that time at that bus fair getting to the pizza palace just to get slam to get a three word answer and then leave just drinks a seven up get the fuck out of here. We're closed.

I'm trying to kill Melina and then slam back to the Fanny Palace and no that's not going to work. I thought that's what we called it. And then Tuck goes Fanny Palace. And Tuck he picks up TLC and in his mind lets them know that they need to like pump out as much spirit energy as possible.

And he walks up to Morris and he takes the bag of obsidian coins that he has and he's like I know you're mad and I know you want to take it out on somebody but I think I know the person who orchestrated this whole thing. You should take it out on the person who made it out on you. Who made it out on you. Who made it out on you. Who made it out on you. Who made it out on you. Who made it out on you. Who made it out on you. Who made all of this happen.

Not on the people that were manipulated into fighting each other. And then he like tosses the bag of coins at Morris. And they'll spill out of the bag. There is a guy walking around the world giving these things out. He runs an organization called the Dark Guard. They've been making big moves to change the world into a realm that's not that will house icons more easily. And the first step of that was getting the wizards off the map. So I don't think you want revenge against us.

I think you want revenge against Gibbous because he's the one that kicked all of this off. 2d6 plus charisma. And it's I guess the parlay is I'll give you I'll give you this information. And okay. We're actually sorry. Remember with parlay if you get a lot of you get a seven to nine they need concrete assurance. Okay. How about the parlay is we'll help you kill the Gibbous man. Oh smart. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Because we've been looking for the Dark Guard to kind of I mean we've got like our list of priorities. Mostly this season was a boat trip but we did to kill the Dark Guard when we left the library we said we were going to find the Dark Guard. I keep stacking very important tasks. I try. I think I have a price on my head. Oh you do. Oh and you're supposed to kill your dad or you die. No that's like priority number two right now. A big seal wants to kill you. That's the low that's Who cares?

Can we cut to like what a stone eye is doing right now? Oh and he has built a shrine. There's like he's painting things on the inside of a sea cave. Oh yeah. He's looking at a picture of Ving like crouched on a beach. In the candlelight. Yeah. He's like ceremonially draped in kelp. He's like painting his face. Yeah. Like he's got war paint underneath his eyes. There's like two Selkies like standing ten feet away that are like he's really going off the deep end. He's lost a lot of weight.

I swear by the salt of the sea by the old gods and the new. That's pretty cool. The stones at the base of the world I will get my vengeance. And then you guys are just back here like you guys remember that foyer you guys remember Jesus. That was nice. Wow. All right. 2d6 plus charisma. And I'm rolling the bone dice. Don't fuck it up. No. It's high risk. Nobody fucks bone dice. Yeah. Cause if this fails I'm gonna have to kill more. If this fails we have a new villain. Yeah. Potentially.

So bone dice. Bone dice. Five. Five plus three is eight. Okay. Okay. Consult a sage sounding board on an aid. Oh does that let you give a plus two forward on a spell or discern realities. Okay. Oh this would have been for the previous thing. Oh. Cause this is a parlay. Everyone's studying their sheets. I didn't even know I had sheets into this moment. This is so rare that you guys that we actually read. It's only it's always only in the final episode of this season. I know.

Technically you have weed. You can share the weed with him. Which gives you a bonus on parlay. And then someone can aid you. As the standoff is in the weed. As the standoff is happening Ving throws weed. Yeah totally. Heads up. I mean what's the what's the worst what's the scenario here is that you're you're honestly you're just offering to help him. I'm offering to help him and I think I know what the concrete assurance I can give him is. Okay.

I could use bardic lore and to like the concrete assurance is to give him is to figure out who the gibbous man is. Like get him from it and then give him that. And that's the concrete assurance. Have you asked a question about the gibbous man before? I don't think so.

Is it is it something that you can't use if you've asked what it's the first so the way it reads is when you first encounter an important creature location or item your call covered by your bardic lore you can ask the GM any one question about it. The GM will answer truthfully. The GM may ask you what legend song or tale you heard that information in. I honestly don't think we've ever like in game at least talked about the gibbous man. No, not really. I don't think we have. Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe we should explain what the gibbous man is for the listeners that maybe don't have access to the bonus stuff. So in the song the thief and the maid which played at the end of season six the gibbous man is referenced as a similarly similarly ancient figure to Lillian who was responsible for capturing Lillian and trying to bind her in some way until she was freed by chimes. Yeah. So that is what we know about the gibbous man.

Then we also know that the gibbous man or a figure we assume to be the gibbous man was responsible for recruiting Roth of the Medjay. Right. Because we saw that vision when he was dying. Yeah. And that's that's really all we know. Didn't we also know the thing that we got from Farhan who was the torch was that there was an outside force directing the the demon of zealotry. Yes. And that the dark guard might not be the demons.

And also don't we know or it's like suggested in like text that he's like a warlock. Is that what they're talking about when they talk about like Lillian and Lillian's tomb. Yeah. I think there is a connection to warlocks that is unclear. His nature is unclear but he we do know that he looks like a man wearing a big hat. Yeah. He's like a kindly old man. Yeah. With like a kindly aspect. Yeah. All black. Yeah. Traveling clothes and like a staff. Yeah. He's just like walks the world.

He kind of looks like the like classic depiction of Odin but old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Odin like the one. The wanderer. The one. The guy with the big hat and the staff. You have one eye then? No. I think. I think he looks like Odin but he's got both of his eyes and no beard. Right. Yeah. He's clean shaven. His eyes are black. Oh I want him to have beard. Okay. Beard and black eyes. That's cool. I think.

I think it's like he can disguise himself to look normal because he he comes as a kindly man to help. That might not be his true. Yeah. Nature. I think his. Yeah. I think in art he's been depicted in old art he's been depicted as wearing all black with black eyes. Yeah. Very manipulative person. Yeah. The photos were like black eyes or like one black one blue. Oh I like two different like he has one black one blue makes perfect sense. He has heterochromia. Yeah.

I mean is it heterochromia or is it full eye like his in his in his kindly forms he's depicted as having heterochromia. But like in his true form it's a full blue and a full black eye. Yeah. Oh I like that for the day and night. Right. Sky blue. Because he's the gibbous. He is both the dark and the light. Like he is he's the sliver of light. Yeah. Right. Because it's the gibbous is very right before the full and the new. Yeah. Oh. Because there are two gibbous too.

There's the waxing gibbous and the waning gibbous. Depending what he's doing. There's twins. Yeah. Oh. Oh yeah. I feel like we're right on the edge of something that I want to say. I want to see it. So I feel like I wanted to hold on to this for a long time. We're almost done. It's the dice man the dice decide. Okay. So there are some some depictions and some Wait. What are you asking? I I want you to tell me the thing that you're going to say. No. I want you to I want you to ask me a question.

I think the question we're circling around is like what is the gibbous man? Because that's the unknown. Like he's likely in charge of the dark guard. We know the dark guard's vague plans and like the consequences that that will have. On the different realms. But I think like the question is like what is the gibbous man? And what is his end game here? Pretty good question. What is the gibbous man? What is his end game? But all one question. No, no punctuation. Yeah. One or the other.

No, if you don't add any commas or anything like that. So just one question. What is the gibbous man? So the gibbous man and what is his end game? Where does he come from? Where does he go? Where does he come from? Can I tell? Nice try, fucker. The gibbous man. Like based in your like year of research at the Margani library. Well, maybe it's like I did a year of research and then from the mists of my mind, a song returns. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.

So the references to the gibbous man are few and far between. But references to beings of similar aspect you found more common early on. In the early ages of the world. And based on songs and art and writings that you've found throughout your time. You think that the gibbous man must be a name that was given to this person at some point by some culture. But not the only name. You would think based on his connections to the dark guard and his connections to warlocks and demons. Yeah.

And the references to Lillian. That he is of multiple aspects realms. He seems to be based on depictions of the blue of day and the dark of night. And the connections to giants and the obsidian coins and the iconic realm and the outer dark. Leads you to one conclusion. The gibbous man is the god of the sky. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz. So long.

Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers. Bye. Playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai. So cool. Bye. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. You can find us on you can find all of Aaron's music at aaronreed.bandcamp.com You can find all of the music that he composed for Spout Lore written by Abdullah and myself at SoundCloud. Just Google Spout Lore SoundCloud. That'll do it. This show is only possible thanks to supporters on Patreon.

If you would like to support us you can find us at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money please to get access to a whole whack of bonus content. A whole campaign set in the High Spear Mall starring the Cool Treat Kids postcards monthly videos streams and a bunch of other writing and content that you're gonna fucking love. I can tell already. I can feel it coming through the headphones. You're gonna love it. And thank you finally and most of all to you for listening.

And so ends the tale of Adventures 3 who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's abreast in revelry. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3 who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's sake and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly Spout Lore. Is that a satisfying answer? Yeah.

I think that was a great answer. Who else do we know of gods? Well we know that the sky god was the father of the god of the of the god of the flame. Oh. Yeah. That's why sky god was the first god we ever talked about. That you talked about. Yeah. And the god of the flame. So two people were the story goes two people were copulating in a field. Yeah. And under the blue sky of day and a bolt of lightning. Put your headphones on just so I can use this just in case.

Copulating in a field under the blue sky of day in McCall many many many many years ago and a bolt of lightning struck down and blessed their union and the child that was conceived there became the god of the flame. Oh my god. Yeah. So was the father the guy in the field or was the father the lightning bolt? Welcome to Christianity. Wow. It's a lightning bolt. It's a great question. Oh it's definitely the lightning bolt.

So yeah that's the thing with the god of the flame is his like it's always been is he man? Is he god? What is he truly? Yeah exactly. He is kind of a demigod in a way but yeah his like his vibe is Hercules. Wow. Yeah. Hercules and like King Solomon. Yeah. The god of the flame is Hercules. You mean Gibbous man is Hercules. No the god of the flame. Yeah. Gibbous man would be more like Zeus.

This makes so much sense because if the moon is falling in love with a mortal of course the sky is going to be like excuse me how dare you like try to leave our realm. So he locks her up because he's like you're mine. You don't get to leave. If he is the god of the sky that means Lillian is his daughter. Yes. Oh that makes a lot of sense.

Yeah like I guess that would I guess the origin myth of the god of the flame if that's true suggests that Lillian and the god of the flame would kind of be different children classifications. Right. Yes. But like similar parentage quote unquote parentage. Yeah. Shit. And I guess yeah parentage could in some ways work a little differently. Oh yeah. We're talking like myths here. Like this is not necessarily like I I'm the Gibbous man. No I know. This is Lillian's mom Sheila.

We're not together anymore but you know we're trying to co-parent. She's with Glorgug. Glorgug. She's with Glorgug. Lord of destruction from a separate sphere. You know whatever. Um that's really cool. Lord of the sky.

Spout Lore is brought to you by listeners like yourself. If you want to check out more stuff or give us a support, go to www.pat… I'll start over. It sounds like a fucking AltaVista ad. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing.

Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in bread. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smart. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale is about to start. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara.

And joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. My corpse. Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Hoppers. Poet. The ball. The bang. The bang. Diggy, diggy, diggy. Said the boogie. Said I've dropped. Playing Fabulously the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. I'm trying to think of something cool to do. Wait, you think we're cool? Yeah, you guys just went like, my curse. And then something else. Wow, Kid Rock, finally cool. Yeah, but wait a bit. But wait a bit.

All I had was, don't waste your time on me. I'm ready. I'm ready. The voice inside my head. My head. Is that from 90210? Blink-182. Blink-182. Their self-titled emo album. When last we left our heroes, they came face to face with the wizard. What? What? Pepper Lunch is permanently closed. Oh, Jessica, I'm so sorry. What the fuck? That was like my favorite lunch spot in Vancouver. It was like, yeah. That would go there all day. All the time. It was like a rice bowl place. You fucking kidding?

Oh, no. Dave Baxter tagged me. Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, what a nightmare. Dave, you fucking asshole. You derailed our entire recording. Just derailed the finale episode. Can everyone just stop sending Jess restaurant closures? Please. I am not doing well. I just had to break the news. Two. Abdul, that full epi was closed forever. Yeah. Abdul said good. Yeah. I'm really sorry. Should I check my phone? No, that's okay. That's devastating. Okay.

When last we left our heroes, they had come face to face with the wizard Morris Wedge, who had made himself two-dimensional to hide inside a portrait. He revealed himself to the party, unfolding himself like human origami from a two-dimensional plane, only to be punched in the face by Perel. There was a bit of a tussle and then a hug and a kiss. And then Morris started to answer some questions and then said, you know what? Let's go somewhere else.

And you guys suggested the fanny pack, which he was overjoyed to see. Entering the fanny pack, he opened up the flap of the danger room, revealing a massive study slash sitting room slash observatory and explaining to the rest of you that the fanny pack, which you had been sleeping. You had been sleeping. You had been sleeping. You had been sleeping. You had been sleeping in the servants quarters of not even the servants quarters, like the servants lunch room. It's a rec room. Yeah.

It's their break room. Yeah. Yeah. Is in fact connected to a greater sprawling, massive extra dimensional mansion that Morris designed many, many years ago. A castle. Yeah. A fanny palace. Yep. Which we know for our non North American listeners is a questionable phrase. But yeah. You know, it is what it is. Morris then very arrogantly decided to turn things into an impromptu lecture. And you guys began to ask him questions. What we learned from those questions.

The big one was that the Exodus, the extra planar evacuation project. Was a fucking con. Was a deceit. Yeah. Anyone that passed through into the worlds of their own creation after a certain point did not not return because they chose not to. They were unable to. So, Morris was trapped inside of his self-made paradise slash prison for over 90 years. Unable to reach anybody else in their own prison as well. Yes. All of the wizards apparently were completely separated and isolated.

Morris revealed that he had planned on finishing his universe, his paradise, and then returning for Perel and Aquaria, who he wanted to bring with. But he was trapped for almost a century, losing his personhood and his mind. And several times over a period of nearly 100 years before he was able to finally work his way out using something he called the Thaumic Tunneling Principle. Pretty fucking cool.

Emerging into his own tower and then in an attempt to make contact with other wizards would jump through back doors he'd created in towers that he'd worked on in the past, but found that- Everyone was gone. Everyone was gone. And presumably due to the lack of wizards, his own magic feels unmoved. Unmoored and unreliable. So Morris has been jumping from tower to tower, now more cautiously, and he's been doing so for about two months, he said. Uh-huh.

Perel and Morris had a little conversation about the fact that unbeknownst to Morris, the remaining wizards were wiped out or imprisoned, including Perel, and Aquaria was almost killed. He's a little unstable right now, and learning that one of his loves was almost killed by humans and that the rest of the wizards had been wiped out. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Giving Morris another target. Yeah.

That's very cool. The Gibbous Man. I used Fountain of Knowledge, and then I did a parlay, and then I used Particle. Yes. So sneaky. So Tuck connected some dots in his head, revealing that he believes the Gibbous Man was responsible, and if Morris wanted revenge, then he should take it out on the person actually responsible for ruining the entire world. Mm-hmm. And through some further dot connecting, believing that the identity of the Gibbous Man must be that he is the God of the Sky. Yeah. Wow.

And that is where we find ourselves now. A question I did not ask last time, but will ask now. Tuck, where did you hear about all this? What was the song that finally fit the final puzzle piece into the picture for you? I think the band Archers Over Kings. Mm-hmm. They did a metal version of an old folk song. Mm-hmm. That was called Stallward Sons. Ooh. And it is about the God of the Flame. Oh. And it talks about his relationship to his father in it. Cool. Yeah. Right.

Because that was a thing that we talked about. So right. So the connection was if the Gibbous Man is the God of the Sky, that means according to the stories that he is the father of the God of the Flame. Yeah. And likely the father of Lillian as well. Yeah. But that is where we find ourselves now. Tuck having revealed this, to Morris. Yeah. And provided him as a potential target for Morris's wrath. Yeah. And Tuck's like, we wanted to get Perel, his magic back, to stop the Gibbous Man.

And we are on your side. If you chill out right now, and go for the person who actually did this to you. If you don't actually address the problem, you're going to be fighting for the solution your entire existence. Perel steps forward, and, and puts a hand on Morris's arm, where it's like gripping the lectern, and puts another hand on his shoulder, and says, it's, Morris, it's, they're telling you the truth. You can trust them. Morris takes a breath.

And as he breathes out, the room expands a little bit around you. This restricting feeling receding, that shelves around you becoming less towering and sinister. I don't think he's just, just a mere conjurer of cheap tricks. That was very intimidating. Very good. Very well. And he claps his hands. All right, then we have, we have a project. Something to work on together. This is excellent. Great. Wow, he's real moving forward, are we kind of guy.

Yeah, he, and he brushes himself off, and he kind of moves around Perel, and he starts walking across the room. All right, let's get to work then. Uh. Billy looks around, he follows him. Yeah, off to work, I guess. I don't know what, what help I can provide. Can't really even read, so. And he walks to the other flap, like a flap on the far side of the room where you came in, and he slams it, and it's a double flap. And it opens both ways, like a big double door, and you emerge into a hallway.

Ooh. A corridor made of the same leather that the whole fanny pack is made of. Oh. But here is just portrait after portrait on the wall. There's beautiful paintings on either side, all different aspects of Morris. There's one of Morris walking across the moors with a hound in his side and a walking stick. There's one of Morris, uh, playing. Leaning naked and touching the finger of another Morris on a bed of clouds. There's another Morris.

Uh, him standing on a clamshell with his long wispy beard blowing across his chest. There's another Morris. Oh, just fucking balls. Balls. Deep. What the fuck? Oh, I don't know. In the Mona Lisa. Yeah! Finish it. Uh, yeah. There's another Morris in, uh, but… You don't know anything about art. Just… God. Is this Tuck, like, in the hallway? Yeah. And he's just like, What is all of this? And he's looking at a painting of, like, Morris, playing poker with a bunch of dogs. Oh, nice.

And Morris turns around and looks, like, looks over his shoulder as he's walking and goes, Beautiful, aren't they? The dogs? Oh, the dogs, the paintings, just this whole place. I really put a lot of elbow grease into this thing. Did you paint these? These are actually very well painted. Well, I mean, in a fashion I did, yes. In that I paid people to paint them. But through my patronage, they became. So if you think about it like that, I am responsible. Yes.

And Morris takes a sharp left turn about halfway down this corridor. Further down the corridor, you see beautiful stone sculptures of Morris. Tiny penis. Yeah. Big hands, big feet. Like, he looks like a homunculus. Like, really big feet. Looks like some kind of ape man. There's a progression of Morris. Like, the progression of man. Oh, my God. Yeah, totally. They're all the same, just getting taller. And he goes through a couple flaps. And you're in a vast workshop. Mm-hmm.

Machines of various makes and models. Their origins and purposes completely alien to you. Whoa. Tables, desks, piles of papers and shit. Here we are. He turns around and spreads his arms wide, looking at you. Billy starts beep beep booping. No. The thing. What? Child, don't touch those. What are they? They are delicate instruments requiring a specialist touch. That's an espresso machine. But the rest of these machines are very important. Don't touch anything without my express permission.

Beep boop boop boop. Stop it. When you say it, I just want to push the buttons more. If you, okay, well, if you're about three quarters of the way through making a flat white. So just press that button, turn this. Beep. Twist that one. Put that cup there. Now press the button again. Beep. Pshhh. Nice. He takes it, sips it, nods thoughtfully. Mmm. Delicious. Now, this gubbis man. Where can I find him? No problem. We know exactly where he might be. Mm-hmm. And that is… Upon walking the earth.

Ah. In the wilds of the world, gray yonder. Things leaning on a portrait of outside. And as a… And as a portrait of, um, Morris Wadge sitting on a picnic table looking right at the viewer. Out of the painting. Making eye contact with him. So you have no idea where he is? No. The only thing that we know that is tied to him is these coins. And I give him the bag of the six coins that I have.

And he tips them out onto his hand, picks one up, throws the bag on the ground, and holds it up to the light. I pick up the bag. Fucking rude, dude. Ha ha ha ha. I gave this to you. And he's not even listening to you. He's just looking at the coin in the light. Fuck you. Fascinating. I'm sorry, Tuck. And this is some sort of, uh, medium between the material plane and the outer dark. Yeah. Some people say that there's pieces of the outer dark in there.

Oh, and I smashed one and a demon went into it one time. Look. Oh, also there's this one in my chest. Oh, that's what that is. Yeah. I thought it was maybe your bones coming through. I didn't want to question it. No, this is one of those coins, but I think it has a demon in it. Interesting. And he, like, walks up to you. He's almost two feet shorter than you. He picks up a rod, like a small little rod, like a chopstick, kind of. Yeah. And just starts prodding the coins in your chest.

He puts, like, he wheels over one of those Home Depot stepladders. Ha ha ha ha. He stares. Click, click, click, click, click. Does this hurt at all? Nah. Feels fine. Hmm. And he really digs one in. Ugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude. All right. I just wanted to see if it was connected to your physiology in any interesting ways. I think it's just in there. Mm. All right. So, after this short period of time, it has come to my attention that the four of you will be of no use to me.

Ha ha ha ha. So, and he claps his hands, you can leave. Oh. And I, with Perel here, will continue our research. And to the gibbous man, perhaps. Like, you want us to leave the room, or do you want us to leave the tent? I don't care. Aww. Huh. I assume that you had other things that you came to this tower for? Well, we came here to get Perel's fucking magic back. So maybe, can you help with that? Oh. Is there any way you can lend him some of yours? No. No. No, my good man. No. Huh.

That's unfortunately not how it works, but… I think… I think… I've been in this tower for a few weeks now, and I've done some poking around. Perhaps there's something here that might be able to help with this little issue. And, smash cut to, a door in the tower. He took you down two or three more levels from the vault that you were in, and you're standing before a tall, maybe ten foot tall, eight foot wide, double door made of, like, opaque ice. Hmm. I have not been able to open this door.

Oh. Thing, you know the passwords? Lothalorianacea. He waves his hand in front of the door. You wave your hand in front of it, nothing happens. He goes up and breathes on it. It feels like something almost happens. Whoa. Did you guys hear that? Do we all breathe? Oh my god. Billy, we gotta start brushing our teeth more. Jack breathes on it. Morris is standing there with his arms crossed. Ah. Nope. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. The ox's blood is fucked. Yeah, the page's duplications are not quite one-to-one, but it's close enough. Is this something that you've done before that has worked? Yeah. I spoke a word. Yeah. With a gate, that gate to get into the waiting area. Yep. All the ice just melted away and let us in. Not this one. Not this one, unfortunately. But it feels like something is almost happening. Shit. How do we discern realities? That's how you do it. Wow, 12.

12, shit, three questions. Ooh, boy. What happened here recently? Ooh, recently. So, Billie, you're full-on Aragorn, on the ground looking at stuff, sniffing shit. Sticking your fingers in the crack underneath the door. Trying to wiggle your fingers. Very gently. Yeah. Just like Aragorn. Just like, and that's what I'm thinking in my head, just like Aragorn.

And you find, in the space of a second, you have a little bit of a sluggishness, a sluggishness, sluggishness, sluggishness, sluggishness, sluggishness, sluggishness, sluggishness, sluggishness, sluggishness, sluggishness, sluggishness, sluggishness, the door trying to wiggle your fingers very gently yeah just like aragorn just like and that's what I'm thinking my head just like aragorn and you find in the like soft snowy like carpet of powder that's been all over the floor of this place you find what you think are tracks like human tracks like footprints yeah old footprints maybe about a month old how big are the feet probably like an average sized human maybe like five what nine five ten maybe and they are leaving this room okay so they wouldn't be in the room no well okay when you say this room is it the room that we're in or the thing on the other side of the door it's the room on the other side of the door that they left okay yeah and then went presumably up the stairs okay uh what here is not what it appears to be mm-hmm so for this part you kind of have your hands like out in front of you like a tv antenna you're trying to like feel the vibes and you think that whatever ving did to get into the tower through the gate it's not not working on this door it's just that he hasn't done the right thing yet oh yeah what here is useful or valuable to me again feeling the vibes you feel like everybody's getting really close to the door and breathing on it yeah and then you're like wait and you like kind of like climb up the stairs and then you're like wait and then you're like a little bit and grab his hand and touch it to the door okay and then just like the palm of his hand yeah whoa what the fuck what that was so useful and then tuck grabs ving's hand he touches it to the door again the open door yeah it closes and then tuck touches the door it doesn't open it's just for ving so I grabbed ving's hand again I smashed it against the door and the door opens whoa I grabbed his hand again touch it to the door closes.

The door closes. Can we go in? Well, it's closed now. Okay. I will open it. Wow. Tuck, step aside. And Morris, you hear Morris go, Fascinating. What? It's just, nothing that I did could open this door. And a simple touch of your hand opens it? I mean, he is the prince of the Boreal Reach. Is he now? Yes, my father is the king of the rangers. Oh, your majesty. My majesty, a pleasure to meet you. Why did you just become shitty all of a sudden? What do you mean, just?

He could be being sincere right now, Ving says. Perel's like, he's always like this. He's almost always like this. Why do you like him? He's not always like this. I take, like, Billy and Ving aside, it's like, okay, yeah, like, you know the situation where sometimes your friend likes a really shitty person and you don't know what to say to them? Okay. Yeah, what do you do in that situation? I don't know, I mean, I feel like you kind of give them space to let them know that you're there for them.

You definitely don't tell them to break up with them! Like, in any sort of way, like, don't ever lay it, like, very obviously. I mean, I guess it depends how nice the bobbies are that they have. What's the bobbies, Khalil? Khalil! Khalil! That's so cute! Sorry. Wow, it really leaked in there. Yeah. What's the bobbies, Billy? Billy just puts his, cups his hands around his chest like, these bobbies. Oh. So if the bobbies are good, then I guess it's okay. If they're not nice all the time.

But if the bobbies are bad, then they gotta be nicer. Maggie snorts. His hands are, like, on his head and he's just like, how? Where did you learn this? Well, whenever you're talking about, like, Alec, he's… Where do you think… I don't talk about this in front of him. You don't talk about it, but your eyes do the talking. Yeah, and also you think I'm asleep, but I'm not asleep yet, and then you just talk so loudly to Ving, and I can't help but hear.

Maggie's very notably looking up at the ceiling. Am I not supposed to talk about them? It's… It's like adult stuff, Billy. Sorry. Maggie steps in. Let's go inside. You know what? I would rather go face whatever horrible, magical danger this might be than have to listen to any more of this conversation. This is too much for me. This is why I never had kids. She just strides into the room. Singing a song. And what we find inside is the door opens to a…

Okay, so what you're struck by is how much older this part of the tower feels than the rest. You're in a corridor, basically, of slanted ice, crystals. It feels like they've dripped down from the ceiling and formed this sort of natural corridor that carries forward light refracting in the walls, lighting up this whole chamber, so it's got this very glittery crystal look. I like that there's a blue light coming from the bottom, unexplainably. Yeah. Light is emanating from below.

And at the end of this corridor, which is about 30 feet long, it opens into a circular chamber that sort of slants toward the center, and in the center is what looks like a column of ice that connects the floor and the ceiling. The ceiling's about 15 feet high, and this pillar of ice, which is lit from below by this emanating blue light, has an alcove carved in it. Whoa. Like something was in it? Yes. Is it in there now? No. I want to discern the realities of this chamber and this alcove.

Yeah, yeah. 2d6 plus wisdom. Nine. I'll help you. Great. Plus bond. Seven. Beautiful. Ten. Three questions. What here is useful or valuable to me? So what here is useful or valuable to you is that in front of this alcove, in the pillar, on the ground before it, kind of like gathered, since the floor is slanting, some of it stayed put, but some of it kind of gathered around the base of the pillar, is what looks like two or three inch thick ice that is shattered. Like a chunk of broken ice.

Like something was covering the mouth of the alcove, it was broken away. Oh, like somebody broke glass in case of emergency? Sure. What's about to happen? What's about to happen is while just like looking around the chamber, you look back and see Morris and Perel and they're both like stock still. Wait, what? Not stock still, like frozen. Yeah. But frozen in the sense that they are not moving. What's going on? You guys look freaked. Is this magic? Yes.

And Morris holds out his hands and kind of gestures down. He's like, below us, there is a power. Oh, there's like a power source beneath the room? Like this room that we're in? Beneath us. This room. This has to be why Allwater built her tower here. Wait, I have a question still. Yeah, you have one more question. Is there like a what just happened question? What happened here recently? Yeah. Who did this? Who happened here recently? You sort of Columbo.

I said Aragorn for Billy, but I'm saying, Columbo for you for some reason. You like look around the room. You're trying to put things together. Billy's helping. He's like, here are the footsteps that I saw. And based on the patterns of the shattered ice and the alcove and the footprints, it looks like something somebody very likely was sealed in this pillar and broke the ice and left the tower broke out of the pillar. Yeah. Oh, I thought this was like a little alcove. No, this is like human.

Oh, I also thought like, tiny. Oh, sorry. No. So I should have described it better. Alcove would be a big thing. But yeah, I also thought it was really little, but I think it was because of a forced perspective thing. You were closer to it in your mind. Yeah, exactly. I was closer up and it's the size of the alcove, even though the alcove was really big, the pillars really big. So it makes the alcove look small. Yeah, it's more of a prison.

Yeah, it looks like there was someone sealed inside this pillar of ice in this room who then broke the ice and left. The tower. Is it possible that this is where Adternack was trapped? It wasn't like a box like Perel was in. Oh, just trapped in her tower. Yeah. Maybe she trapped herself in the tower. Oh, to protect herself. Oh, maybe. I took, grabbed some of those shattered ice and he puts it in his mouth. What happens? Have you ever… Jessica wept. Sorry. Have you ever…

Finally, Jessica laughed in the mic. Just a pause and Abdul looking at you like expectantly like, come on, say something. Have you ever eaten ice outside ice? Yeah. It tastes like that. What does it mean? What does it mean? I'm trying to figure that out. I'd like to use World Talker and see if I can commune with the talk to the ice in this room. I help by spitting the ice out and putting it in his mouth. I smush it into my ears. Ooh. You baby bird the ice back into Ving's ears.

So here's an interesting… I go into the alcove and I put my hands on either side of the walls that are remaining. So you go into the alcove. Oh shit, fuck no. Not now. Your eyes got so big. You made the move already though. You gotta stick to it. I go inside it. You go into the alcove and it does feel like that honestly. Like it feels… It feels like you step into the concentration point of a magnifying glass in the sun. Whoa. Not heat wise, but just energy wise. You are just…

Your body is buzzing. I'm glowing. Yeah. Like as soon as you get in there, it's just like we can't look at you. My skin is turning into like hair fur. Like frosted… A whore frost. Oh, I see. Growing out of my… It looks like this long fur. Whoa. Bulking out my entire body. Tell me more about this. This comes from my head to my neck and it's like starts as a cowl and it's building down my body into a big bulky furry filling the alcove. So you're just being consumed from within almost.

Like this ice is just building and building and building. You don't know why. I don't know why. Maybe it's protecting me? Could be. What you do feel is like you feel you know those rare days everybody when you wake up and for like a couple minutes you're not tired. You know and you don't have a headache and like you just had a shower and your body just feels so fresh and clean and you feel like completely without feeling. And like the absence of feeling is exuberant in itself.

You're like unmoored from the pain and discomfort of a human body. Oh shit. You just feel a hundred percent fucking amazing. Whatever damage you had, gone. Whatever debilities you had, gone. The light is coming out in prisms from this weird hoarfrost and casting like disco ball little rainbows all over the room. Do you look like a snowman right now? Bonhomme. Carnival. You look like Bonhomme. It kind of looks like a bear. Like a big polar bear standing on a hind leg. Yeah totally. Cool.

So everybody's standing outside the alcove watching Ving become a snow bear and glow with the light of a bajillion moons. Yeah. And it's like Perel is covering his eyes. It's like what is he doing? Get him out of there. Okay. I start digging at the hoarfrost. Yeah. Trying to unbury thing. Yeah. 2d6 plus strength. Oh no. Uh. Two. I was gonna say for a failure Ving arm like my Ving arms pop out through the hoarfrost grab Billy and bring him in. Oh. Wow. Fun. And you're enveloped in this snow.

This hoarfrost. Like what the fuck. And he walks up and puts his hand inside of the hoarfrost and tries to pull both Billy and Ving out of it. Yeah. Totally. And now when this is oh wait 10. 10. Yeah. So you like grab Ving like around the shoulder. If you want you can yank him out. Yeah. Yank both of them out. Cause I just saw my kid disappear into like a mysterious magic column. Yeah. Totally. Ving falls out laughing. Billy.

It's almost like you pull a cat out of a comfy box that he wants to go back into. I'm doing the hand over hand. Keep grabbing it. What are you doing? We don't know what this thing is. It felt nice. And you see in Billy's hair like snow drops have like blossomed up. He's got like a little clutch of flowers coming out of his hair. And I'm like Billy how do you feel? I feel so cozy. Okay. You've got your growing flowers. Yeah. Just let me lay down for a while.

So you just lay Billy on the floor of the chamber? No I put him in the crook of my arm. Yeah. I carry him over to Perel and Morris and Maggie. Do you guys want to try that? Um absolutely not. That was very bold. I respect that. I could have used subjects like yourselves back in the day with such a blatant disregard for your own safety. But Perel what if it turns you magic again?

Perel and Morris have walked up and they're like examining the alcove very cautiously with their hands out like it's definitely like they're talking to each other. Maybe this is like focusing. Maybe it's got to be something down there. Perel is like I want to see what's underneath us. What do we do? I could do shadow dance or midnight waltz. Yeah. True. Perel is like I would be willing to try that again. Okay. Billy does a little stretchy move with his hands. I feel good.

I shed a bunch of leaves. Perel starts doing stretches. He's got his arms outstretched either side and he's like touching his toes. What are you stretching for? For the transition to the fairy world. You don't have to do anything. You just hold on to me. Okay. When you're 151 you can tell me what I need to do. I'm sorry. No let's do it. Don't forget to stretch your hamstrings. Okay. Yeah. Alright let's do it. Okay. So I got nine. So I have… I have one hold out of my body. Okay. Yeah.

So yeah you emerge from your corporeal form free of the shackles of the flesh. Frolicking through the fairy energies. What's this column look like in the fairy realm? Hmm. Looks kind of like um what are they called? Like a nebula. Cool. It's very powerful light but it's not like a ray of light. It's like um when you look in a nebula it's like all those tiny stars that are just like so bright because there's a lot of light. There's like a trillion of them. Yeah totally.

And inter like interconnecting these little motes of light it looks like it's almost like uh strings of yarn. Yeah. Coming from below and then coalescing into this like specific pinprick right in the center of the alcove. Yeah it's like dew drops full of a star. A star packed in a dew drop and all suspended from these like tiny spider threads that just reach up forever into the sky. Yeah. And then below. Perfect. So cool. And uh the hold would be to see what is beneath this floor basically.

Okay jump Perel. Hold on. Oh he's kind of like floating like uncontrolled like he's waving his arms like he's trying to swim. Yeah. My hammies. That's why we had to stretch them. I slowly stretched one of them. I didn't stretch the other one. Jump on that one foot. Here we go. And you bloop dip through the floor and a cavern yawns beneath you. Whoa. Crystals of ice like lattice work.

Work themselves up from like the base of the column in a very intricate network of tubes and struts and like it looks like this was constructed almost with thought. Okay. And far far below through the ferry you see a blinding white light. It's water. Water? Oh. Old old. Is it like a pool? Old glacial like a lake like an ocean beneath the ice. Is it like cut off from everything? Is it like its own? No. It's connected. To what? To this alcove.

Oh sorry that's what I meant but it's not like there's no rivers coming into it. It's just like an old basin. If there are rivers you can't see them. They're too far away. This is a vast pool. Like a huge cenote? Yeah exactly. Like where you are there is a level where the water stops but you get the feeling that it continues on for many miles around. Like it's an ocean sized like pocket of water underneath. Totally. Just like brilliant in its power. It's not the moon. It's water.

I mean maybe there's a piece of the moon down there. Can I dive? Can I take? Can we keep going? Can we keep falling into the water? It will be dangerous because this is your last you've used your hold. I want to. I feel like it would be sad if we just turned around now. It's a big risk. Perel what do you think? I think we're close. Too close to to not go right? Yes. Billy reaches out like thin vines to pull us down. Oh cool. Towards the water. Sweet.

You like latch onto the lattice work of ice crystals as you pull yourself further and further. Ivy growing down. Is your aspect, your physical aspect changing? Yeah it's I look like petals and snow kind of boiling together in like an orb sort of situation. Cool. There's like a seed inside. Whoa. Whoa. And from that comes like these tiny little like strawberry vines almost. Every once in a while a croissant comes to the surface of the orb and goes back inside. Royals back in.

The croissant at the core of all. And you pull yourself deeper into this water. You get closer and closer and it just becomes all you can see is this blinding white light. And then you breach the surface. And you are in a sea of moonlight. Ooh. You're traveling at speeds and in distances that would be impossible for a more subtle. Like in your fairy form you are crossing leagues.

And at the very bottom of the ocean nestled in a bed of silver kelp glimmering in the light is maybe a three foot across chunk of white stone. So that's the moon hey? It's gotta be. And as you get closer you feel that you're getting closer and closer to danger. Like a point where you can't come back. Okay. But you're filled with this feeling that there are people up there that care about you. That you care about.

And what more noble action is there than sacrificing yourself for the ones that you love? Hmm. Why not just stay down here? This could mean something. It doesn't really matter. I mean I'm just here for fun. But what is fun when compared to love? I don't know what love is. I just care about fun. I feel like I'm just only in, Billy's only in spring mode right now. Oh yeah. So you're just looking to play? Yeah.

Perel is reaching, like he's now climbing down your vines basically to get closer to the rock. And you can feel this like point of no return approaching. And Perel is moving faster towards it. And you hear him say through the energies of the fairy, I know what I have to do. Perel, what do you know? It's the only way. What's the only way? I have to sacrifice myself. No, that's not how it works. And I start coiling him up in my that's not really fun. He's like fighting against it.

Yeah, but I'm more powerful than you. All right, roll it. What is, what are you, what stat are you using? What's, what was defy danger is this? It doesn't really matter. Oh, shit. You're not physical right now, so it wouldn't be strength. I guess it would be charisma. Your fairy stuff is always charisma. Oh, okay. It's like you're the influence of your personhood. I mean it would be five, so it's still a failure. Still a failure. You don't have any fairy child left. Fuck. Yeah.

Oh, have I just ended the podcast? God. No, I don't. I don't think so. So I think that you can't let him fucking die. Oh my God. Is there literally nothing you can do? I mean, we've got some pretty hardcore narrative stakes here. Why would you put me in this position? Why did I said you wanted to go for fun? I wanted to find stuff. Um, I think you feel yourself like the connection to this shadow dance. Uh-huh. Start reeling you back in. Oh, no, no, no.

And the pull of the stone is separating you and Perel and your vines are gripping so hard trying to keep his spirit where it is. Yeah. But you lose hold. Are you serious? The pull of the stone is too strong and you find yourself back in your body. Uh-huh. And Perel remains motionless beside you. And Morris is next to you. What happened? Don't get mad at me. What happened? What happened? Um, we found a piece of the moon in this big lake under and uh, Perel really wanted to go to the stone.

I tried to stop him, but I don't know. You didn't do anything wrong, Billy. What do we do? Is he, is he dead? I don't know. What did you do to him? I didn't do anything to him. He didn't do anything. Tuck goes over and checks on Perel. What's going on with him? He is breathing, but it is faint. Okay. So I think we're running against a clock now. We gotta find a way to bring him back as quickly as possible. I uh, hold on. I have Terry Larry and Chad. Uh-huh.

When you are initiated in the old ways, the ways of sacrifice, choose something your gods or the ancestor spirits value, gold, blood, bones, or the like. When you sacrifice on a 10+, the GM will grant you one insight into your current trouble or a boon to help you. So I wanna do a sacrifice. To get TLC to go down there and bring Perel back. Okay. Roll it. Okay. What are you smashing? Yeah, I have to destroy something and it's gotta be pretty important. Destroy me! I did this!

I mean, there's really only one thing in the room. What? The alcove. The pillar. I have to just… Ugh. Fuck! Okay. Tuck, he starts… He kind of, when he does this, he lets TLC sort of decide the thing that they want. So he like starts spinning the axe, like over and over again. It like kind of wakes them up a little bit. Yeah, and you can hear him go like, whoop, whoop, whoop. Okay. Alright. Yeah, here we go, bro! Here we go, buddy. You guys got this, right? Darn. Darn.

I tell them, I was like, Perel stuck at the bottom of an ocean. I need you guys to get him back. Fucking smash it, bro! What do you want me to smash, buddy? Smash this pillar! Nine. Aid! Aid, how are you aiding? I'm telling the ice that it needs to smash. Now is its time, and the purpose has come to let us through. 2d6 plus bond? Nine. Nine. So that makes it a ten. Sick. So what is the ten plus on Lariatarian Chad?

On a ten plus, the GM will grant you insight into your current trouble or boon to help you. If it was a seven or nine, they would have taken from my flesh, basically. Okay. So you do a bunch of cool axe spins. I do so many cool axe moves. To the point where, like, the crystal is leaving, like, a trail of purple light behind it. Oh, cool. As you power up for your limit break. Oh, yes! The afterimage of the light is remaining too long. Like, burned into your retinas sort of situation?

Burned into the retinas of everyone here. Yeah. And I jump. Wow. And come down with a thunderous smash. Smash. Smash. That is actually what happens. It's like… Smash. I go, here we go. I'm gonna… Smash. But your muscles align at the last second, like a fucking freight train. And you bring it down and you smash the pillar. What did you think I was gonna say? What was the word that you thought I was gonna say? We were doing a back and forth thing, man. I was trusting you. A thunderous…

Crash? Smash? Some sort of sound effect, maybe? Uh, smash. I suck! No, the smash is good! And you smash the pillar. Thunder smashes. Everybody, it's just like, everyone is showered with, like, razor-sharp crystals of ice that glint off of you, thankfully. Tug is so embarrassed, because he knows it kind of got away from him at the end there. He overextended himself. He was trying too many cool axe moves. This fucking Cartwin's apartment all over again.

And you smash the alcove, and it just explodes into crystals of ice, and leaving a hole yawning above this chasm with the seawater below you. And the spirits, you see three little lights go down. Yeah. Whoa! I jump in after them. Yeah, totally. Dive. Dive. You see, yawning below you, this incredible chasm filled with a criss-crossing latticework of ancient ice structures. The water to you, this room is bright, and the water looks deep, dark blue. Cool.

But there's maybe a glinting at the very, very bottom, just out of what you would consider your line of sight. And you hit the water, splash! And you are submerged. And Tug and Billy, where you're standing, Perel starts to, like, convulse a little bit. Like he's kind of, like, he's choking. Oh my god. So we're kind of, we're running up on a clock here, for sure. Yeah. I want to, um, elemental form. Yeah. What is your elemental form? Transmute my body into a form made from the raw elements.

I want to draw the natural elements of that stone up and make, um… Oh, to make it easier for TLC to go grab him. Yeah, get him closer. So I'm getting him, I'm drawing that, because it's a natural element, because it's moon rock, around my body. And, um, just draw up these two beams of light, like giant, giant wolf eels. From the depths of moonlight coming up and wrap around my body and spin me slowly, take me up to the surface. Roll it. 2d6 plus constitution? Nine. So you get one hold. Great.

So the rock below you, you see, like, a stream of light as this, like, glittering almost miniature coronet of moonstone swirls up from the bottom of this massive, like, basin. It's like it's got the same kind of shape as the shattered moon. Yeah. And then it curls up around you, creating, like, a spinning river of moonstone as it coalesces into this snake.

And you feel like, as you coalesce this moon rock around you and start to rise, you see three motes of light zip up from the seafloor and join you in this glittering cascade. And one slightly dimmer light behind it. And, uh, everybody standing around the hole at the top, except for Morris, who's, like, kneeling over Perel and, like, kind of slapping his face and shaking him. And emerging from the chasm, a beautiful moonlit form surrounded by water and moonstone.

You know, like, the gymnastics thing where they're twirling, ribbon gymnastics? Totally. With these giant snaky eels of moonlight. And Tuck's like, whoa, what a beautiful man. Unsmash. And you reach, you reach the top with this mass of this, like, brilliant blue water and the shining white moonstone. Billy, you are struck by a memory. Years ago, outside the village of Bullrush, you were overcome by a dark malevolent force.

And the only thing that could bring you back was submerging you, sacrificing you, some might say, in this… Tea bagging. Tea bagging. Tea bagging you in this source of water. What do I do with that? I think you realize, or maybe hope, that maybe Perel was on the right track, and the only way for him to regain this connection is to sacrifice himself and be remade by the waters of this place. So maybe I didn't ruin everything after all. Maybe not.

But Vang has a significant source of that water with him right now. It's draped like, um, like a onesie, like a leotard, like an 80s gymnastic suit of water. Can I start pulling Perel's body over to where Vang is? Yeah, absolutely. Morris, help me. And Morris, for a second, is very defensive when you grab. I know. He, like, tries to push you away. No, I know. I know, but this is what Perel wanted. Save him. Okay. And I scoop up Perel with my arm. And what do you do?

The eels travel around both of us, change from eels into snakes, and then from snakes into rocks. And the water flows around you. A river above an ocean. You can see through my skin, through my body. You see an outline of me, a more of Perel floating in this, like, almost like a cylinder of, like, a drain, you know, where you get a vortex. Oh, yeah. And you feel the waters, this, like, ocean below you. A vortex forms below as well.

And a water spout, basically, of this brilliant blue water rises up to meet you, as if beckoning. I drop him down the hole. I lower him. Down the hole. He's cradled by the waters that take him below. We have a moment where, like, our fingers are doing that, like, last little let go of his hand. Gently down into the water. And he leaves your sight for a moment. Mm-hmm. And a long time passes. Yeah, we're all hanging over the hole.

Long enough that Morris is, like, you can see his face clouding, like, this is over. Mm-hmm. Tuck grips the axe, because he knows if this goes sideways, this is gonna be a bad fight. Mm-hmm. But then the light grows beneath you in brilliance. Ooh! And beneath you see the vortex form again and carry something from deep, deep under the ice and under the water. And then tuck uncorks a music bottle and you hear let it be an evening light a flashlight a mark.

And this is what you're hearing, because the person who recorded this, does not remember this song. The person who recorded this is Tuck. Yeah. And you hear his self-cunch. He recorded this on, like, the ship when he was kind of alone in the closet. The same way he didn't know he couldn't dance, he just learned that he can't sing either. In his mind, he's like, this is my moment to reveal my talent to the world of my friends. To reveal the demo that I made. Ha ha ha! Incredible.

Let it be an evening light that shines up above me. He also sings it up and up and his off-tune. He can't sing with shit. It's coming out of the bottle. Let it be… Did we both record this? No, I was just coming in beside you. Yeah, like, um, uh, we are the worlding it for the moment because I don't want you to be self-conscious about not being the only one who can sing in this cave. Ha ha ha! Is Billy joining the chorus as well? Ha ha ha! Should he? I don't know.

Maybe Billy doesn't even know this song. I don't know this song, Billy. Help me out. Let it be an evening light that shines bright for you. For you. Let it be for you. Maggie reaches over and puts her hand over the mouth of the bottle. Oh, thank grapes. And as she does so, a moment of silence reveals to you the crystals below ringing with just the purest note that reverberates through the chasm. What? What are you doing? Like, Yes, that's what I saw. I saw that. I'm covering one ear.

I'm going, Oh, man. I really tried to make this. Dramatic moment. I really did. Are you going to say the same thing? I'm the home of the ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And as that final word rings through the cavern, emerging Laugh into the mic! No! It's so loud! Emerging from the cleft in the ice that Tuck created, Perel rises, cradled by the water. His mouth and eyes are closed, but you can see water pouring from his eyes and nose and mouth. He's crying. Awesome.

And he opens his eyes. That's what it looked like when he was possessed. The water runs from his face. And he extends behind Tuck and he's around his shoulder. He extends his hand. He extends to either side. And the water that's like coursing off of his body starts to freeze. And the hole beneath him is covered in a sheet of ice. And he lands as the water rushes away from him lightly on his feet. Stumbles a little bit. Perel? Is that you, buddy? And he opens his eyes.

And he reaches down and grabs a piece of the ice that shattered. When whoever left the alcove emerged and holds it in front of him. And he lays it on his palm. And as he's staring at it, it melts and reforms and shifts into a small, crystalline frog. And he smiles. Perel. Buddy, is that you? Are you Perel? You fools. What? I'm joking. It's totally me. It's totally me. And I'm a fucking wizard again. Ah. Yes! And then he leans forward and wretches up like three gallons of water.

Oh, it was all in me. Bing takes a jar of it. Sorry. I know that's gross. It was all in there. Oh my god. And he reaches forward and he grabs Billy and he drags Billy towards him. What? You did it. Did I? And he reaches up and he grabs Maggie and drags her forward and drags Bing forward and drags Tuck forward. You guys did it. Did I do a good job? You did an amazing job, Billy. Oh my god. Okay. He's a big fella. And he runs forward and he kisses Morris right on the face so hard. Ew.

And he kisses him again. And he starts kissing her too hard. Yeah, I covered my eyes. Whoa, whoa, whoa. And then for a second we're like, oh, that's nice. And then it's the thing where we're like, we got Billy. We gotta get out of here. We're looking around, patting this round room ice room for a door. Billy runs into a wall with his eyes covered. He's like, I'm sorry. It is so reflective in here. I can't get away from it wherever I look. There's mirrors everywhere. It's a hall of mirrors.

Someone find the door. Everybody roll to find the door. You guys know you came down a hallway. You know where the door is. Find the door. I got a ten. I got a five. I got a six. I got a six. I got a six. I got a six. I got a six. I got a six. I got a six. I got a six. I can't find the door. Okay. Billy remembers you came through a door. Yeah, it's really big. It's like ten feet wide. We all have our eyes closed. And we're like, Billy, get us, please get us out of here.

And then he's like shooing you along the hallway. Just go. Just go. I'm running around your legs like a cat does. We hear so much moaning. And where do you guys go and wait? Back to the tent. Just back to the fanny pack? Yeah, which is in the vault. Yeah. So you guys go back to the vault. You pop in the fanny pack about 45 to 120 minutes later. Oh, I actually want to be in the vault. The vault. I want to be in the vault. I don't want to go in the fanny pack. Okay. Yeah.

So you guys go back to the vault. There's a possibility that there's wizards in some of these items. Yeah, because we came here to find Addernack. Yeah. And we don't know for sure that that was her in there. No, that's true. You don't. Yeah. But yeah, you are in the vault. Yeah. As we described it, it's kind of a roundish chamber with shelves all along the walls. Mm-hmm. And you would guess now being powered by the immense source. Of magical energy beneath the glacier.

No specific hotspot exists here. You would assume at this point. And there's just shelves full of shit. Can I discern the shelves? Yeah, absolutely. Sweet. Eight. Okay. So you get one question from the book. What here is useful or valuable to me? That definitely depends on like what specific, what would Billy be looking for? Well, Ving and Tuck. I think I told him to look for a wizard stuff. Uh-huh. So something wizard-y. Okay. So the thing is, is all of this stuff is magic. Mm-hmm.

All of this stuff has spells on it that are dangerous. I pulled up that weird loot table with like a billion things if we want to describe items or if you have an item in mind. Like what comes to your mind when Billy is like wizard stuff? Would Addernack All Water have? So this isn't anything that Addernack would have. This is stuff that the menders have placed here. Oh, the menders. Yeah. So there's, it looks kind of like a drinking horn. Oh.

This is carved from a horn from some animal up here with a cap that's carved, but it's like it fits in. Like it's carved to fit in. It's like a plug. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, like a copper one because that's what the menders use it, working copper, don't they? Oh, interesting. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. You find what looks to be a carved horn, maybe a foot long horn with a copper cap in the top. Like carry that like a log. Yep. Yep. And Maggie's like, here, let me just, she reaches down and generally picks it up.

So we're not just, we're not just grabbing stuff. Is that what, what are we, what are we, what are we doing here? Yeah. I thought we were just grabbing stuff to look at. No. Okay. Put that in your purse. Yeah. Just put it in your purse. Like an Uncle Frank here. Yeah. That's real crystal. Put that in your purse. And Maggie's holding the horn. Could be a wizard in there. Gonna go look for another one. It doesn't look like any vessel that you find. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Specifically a ward stone box probably doesn't contain a wizard. Well, we don't know that yet. And that is actually something, I will tell you something that is not here. What? A ward stone box. Okay. Well, that was easy. Well, yeah, that's all I wanted to know. Okay. Yeah. That is something that you could like, there is not, I wouldn't say there's like tons and tons of stuff here. There's probably like a dozen items. Okay. And none of them appear to be a ward stone box.

Okay. Is there a sentry here? Like a Chamberlain? Doesn't look like it. Hmm. Yeah. Does it look like it was emptied out or something? No, it just looks like it looks very curated. So it's hard to say like, what makes all these items, items that needed to be kept here together? If anything, or is this a Mender's Vault situation where they just are keeping stuff that's dangerous? And if that is the case, what's so dangerous about this horn? You know? Does someone want to Spout Lore on the horn?

Yeah, if you want to. Go for it. Two to six plus intelligence. Seems like the kind of thing that would have been on an album cover, Tuck says. Yeah. Let me look at this thing. Tuck licks it. That's a one. That's not a good start. That's a bad start. This is what you get from licking first. It means if I don't get a six, this is a full failure. Here we go. And that's a five. So that's a six. Dead. All right. I recognize the horn because I know the animals of the earth and it's a arctic longhorn.

Highland cow. Seven. Eight. Eight. So that makes it a seven. Thank God. Okay. Something interesting, but not useful. Yeah. It's made from the horn of an arctic long hair. It's black. Cow. It's like an auroch, like a large ancient breed of cattle. And like Ving, you're like, oh yeah, I feel like I remember hearing stuff about this. It's basically a, it's like a ghost horn. There are beliefs in the north where when a dangerous person dies that you can't let their spirit just roam. Oh.

So you got to trap it in here. Yeah. It's kind of like an urn, but it's not for like wizard prisoners. It's for like ghosts. Like a person who is so evil. They became a ghost. Exactly. Wow. And then Tuck turns to Ving and he's like, put it in your purse. Put it in your purse. So metal. This will come in handy. I guarantee it. I am all over it. I don't think I should let you do that. Let you do what? Like take the horn? Act casually? Ving says and. And Maggie's like really scratching her chin.

She's like, I mean, if what you say is true about the Gibbous Man and we're going up against a God, maybe we just. I mean. Grab what we can. These are mender property, right? Well. And you're a mender. And technically so are we. Technically. Sechnically. Sexually, we're menders too. Sexually, we're also menders. So it's actually okay. Okay. Sexually. Sexually. I'm going to go now. Sexually. Okay. I really got away from you there. Yeah. When you guys are standing next to Maggie going sexually.

Okay. You hear the door open behind you and Perel and Morris come in. He goes sexually. I'll say. What are we talking about? There. It's like the step. Dad plus stepdad thing where they come in wearing towels and they're covered. They're covered in sweat. It smells like Billy just opened the cheese vault again. So what are we doing in here? Looting. One of them has a coconut water. The other one has pineapple juice. Gotta replenish those electrolytes.

Can I roll to see if you have a fun little table there? The table is just a button that I click. Oh. So you find a small metal box. It's a little bar. Mm-hmm. Like maybe eight inches long. Yeah. Oh, that's about an inch. Sean held his hand so close together. He's like, that's like eight inches, right? And it sits flat. It's like flat on each side. Okay. Like a ruler? How thick? About an inch thick. It's like maybe. Inch and a half. Yeah. Inch and a half. And it's got dwarven letters etched in.

On one side. Mm-hmm. And you remember from your time in the deep ward, you read dwarven. Yeah. I mean, I can. Yeah. Only bureaucratic dwarven, but yeah. Yeah. It says help. Oh. Whoa. What? Cool. It says help. I want to discern realities about this. I mean, Spout Lore about this. Okay. 2d6 plus intelligence. I got four. Because my intelligence is a minus one and I rolled a five. Okay. Cool. Absolutely. Absolutely. No clue.

But it looks like if you blow into one end, it might just be like a whistle. It looks like a whistle. Yeah. Dude, blow it. Okay. I'm going to blow this. This better not be a genie. There's no discernible hole in the top and it just kind of slides out of your mouth. All right. I'll put in my backpack. And when you put it in your backpack, make, he goes, she feels really bad. I feel like this is a terrible idea. Dude, we have to be ready to fight a God. I know. I know.

But like, so we're all just going to be walking. Walking around with like bombs in our bags. Bombs in our bags. Hey man, it's a dangerous world out there. And if you don't stop to smell the roses every once in a while, you just might miss it. That doesn't mean anything to me. That's literally meaningless. Well, I'm not, I'm not going to take anything. I'm not taking anything. I'm going to take even more stuff. No. Can I roll a thingy? Yeah, totally. Ooh. All right. That's interesting.

So you find a book with like a nice kind of modeled gray leather and a picture embossed on the cover under words that you don't read that looks like a tortoise. Oh, is there a bee on here? I hold it up to one of the adults. And Maggie leans down and goes, no, no bees. What does it say? Oh, it says a treaty on tortoises. Why is that in here? I have no idea. And she grabs the book and she's looking at it.

She's flipping through and it's literally a, you see like illustrations, like biological illustrations on tortoises and a bunch of writing. And then she keeps flipping through the book. And I mean, unless you do some real investigating, she's like, yeah, it's a book about tortoises. Spout Lore. Eight. Eight. Okay. So, uh, not useful right now, but you see, like you grab the book back. She just hands it back to you and you can't read.

But as you're flipping through the book, you notice that the words on the page, don't match about halfway through. Like it's a different language. It's like different writing. Like it's like the, the book that it started as changes and becomes something else. And there's like notes and stuff in the margins. And like it becomes pages just crammed with writing. What? A turtle codex? Yeah. Yeah. We hold onto that for people who can read. Yeah. That's fine, Billy. That's just a book about turtles.

You'll, you'll like it. Maybe Perel knows about it. It's reptile. Oh yeah. Perel. Here you go. Oh, tortoises. Tortoises. Tortoises. Sorry. Tortoises. Sorry. My mouth's full of cum. Morse has come to me. I want to be specific here. I did not eat my own cum in there. Tortoises. Cool. Thanks, Billy. Look closely at the words. Okay. A tortoise is a reptile. Don't make fun of me. Oh, okay. All right. Fine. And he flips. And then he goes, what the fuck? I told you.

And he like gets really close cause he doesn't have his glasses, but he puts the book really close to his face. I'm going to, I'll do some research. Tuck. Do you want to roll something? I actually, I know what I find. Oh, I'd find another mirror shard. Oh my God. Interesting. Yeah. So how many do you guys have? I have three now. I'm just collecting things. So you find a mirror shard. I believe I found a fucking turtle book. This sucks. This sucks. This sucks. This sucks. Yeah.

I forgot that we could just tell him what we find. Just throw it. Throw it into my backpack. Also, Billy, can I keep this ghost horn? It's fucking cool. Yeah. Thanks. Put that in my backpack. What? All right. Perel says, now that we've looted this potentially extremely dangerous magical horde, uh, and I have my magic back, which is incredible. Hell yeah. I go to high five him. And he high fives you. And as your hands are touching the air in between the cushion of air transmutes to like, mustard.

Oh, you see that? That's funny. Look at that. Yeah. That's the kind of shit that you can expect from Perel the wizard. And then Tuck turns around. He's like, totally. And he turns to Vane. He's like, I think I hate Perel now. Now? But you do notice that like, after he does that, Perel chugs coconut water. He's just like, it's going to take a while to get used to. Uh, so what do we, are we done here? Yeah. So I guess we know that Addernak is probably the thing that was in that alcove.

And then she's gone. She got out. Can we go back to your library and have snacks and look at the things we found? Uh, yeah, absolutely. I suppose. Yeah. Let's go back to the palace. If that sounds okay with you guys. Is there anything else we need here? We're just trying to find her. We're trying to get Perel's magic back. You got it. Great. Is there anything else that's more valuable than this little tiny stone ruler? I mean, if I'm being honest.

This place could be a source of research for years to come. But I also, without my abilities being as sharp as they once were, I hesitate to stick around here. And I think I would rather just be in the fanny pack and do my work in there. So I'm going to probably just be there for the time being. And you go do your thing. And I will research this gibbous. Gibbous man. Oh, right. Yeah. We have a vendetta now. I have a vendetta. And Perel's like, I also have a vendetta.

Maggie's like, I also have a vendetta. Against who? Gibbous man. He's kind of responsible for all this. Okay, Perel, what about you? Yeah, gibbous man. And he punches his palm. I'm going to get him. Tuck leans in. He's like, also gibbous man right over here. I have a vendetta. But mine's against the gibbous man. Gibbous man. I mean, I guess I still hold a grudge about that waiter who took away my food before I was done with it. And the gibbous man. There's like a long silence.

And Billy's like, I said the wrong thing. All right. Then I suppose we all want this gibbous man dead. Yeah. Or in jail. So full jail. I'm just. I don't know. Got to put him in God jail. Yeah. All right. Full steam ahead. That's the only thing we have to worry about. Yes. Okay. So you guys, what are you guys just fill in a sack with all the other magical stuff in here? Are you leaving some of it behind? I kind of, I don't have to track this many items. It is a lot of items already. Okay.

Tuck is like two is my limit. And he pats his belly. And what were the two things? I took the horn and the mirror shard. Oh yeah. Yeah. And Morris does say. Uh, at some point, once I have sharpened my abilities to their previous strength, we may be able to return to some of these places, find further vaults. So we don't have to clean them out now. Yeah. We can steal this shit later. We can steal all this shit later. Really? Billy pops out under a shelf and he's like covered in a lot of dust.

Like a dust bunny. Jesus God. Like a little ball. Where were you? Where did all the dust go? Oh my God. Oh my God. Hey, there's a storage room. There's a storage room behind here that we squeezed myself into. Um, yeah. Morris is confident that he, I mean, of course he's confident, but he's confident that he can eventually find a way to travel as he once did to fix his shit, to fix his shit, to get better.

And he actually, him and Perel, you've heard them talking about a bunch of magical shit in the time we go back to the fanny pack mansion, Morris's mansion. Yeah. Yeah. And I, I imagine this is. This is probably a good time for everybody to rest a little bit. Yeah. I kind of, I want to take my time in the fanny pack now that we have like access to all of it. Maybe sleep. Sleep. Well, I want to look at that horn that I gave to Tuck. The ghost horn. Yep.

I'm going to look in the book library and see if there's anything about small flat dwarven stones. Uh huh. Yeah. So that was something I was thinking is, um, we have talked about how there's like during the golden age, even there were around a hundred. A hundred and twenty maybe wizards total. Mm hmm. Uh, that's it. Yeah. Not very many. So Morris and Perel probably know the people that made these items, if not exactly what their purposes are.

So they might be able to help you figure out, like fill in any gaps on things that we aren't sure about. Oh yeah. Cool. Yeah. So you come in, you come and find Morris and he's in his workshop. He's wearing his like previously fine tattered robe that it looks like Perel has, uh, transmuted to kind of. Yeah. You know, kind of juice it up a little bit, get it, get it gussied back to a, to a previous shine. It's way tighter. It's, it's way tighter.

And then you see, he's got, you realize that Morris has like a kind of like barrel chested sort of like, he's got like a workman's body almost. He's fidgeting. Like it's not quite comfortable. Yeah. It's like he, I mean, he was out of his mind for almost a hundred years. So he's like a little tighter on the shoulders. I haven't been this restricted in a long time, but you find him in his workshop and he's got these big crazy goggles on and he's like messing with the machine.

There's like different lenses that kind of flip in and out of the goggles and he's working on this big device. Morris. Yeah. And he turns, what can I do for you? His eyes look huge and it looks like he's got, it looks like he's got 13 eyes. Wow. You look like a very fancy fly. Thank you. Uh, uh, Morris, I was wondering if you know, if you know, if you know, if you know, if you knew of any dwarven wizards in your day? Of course. Yeah. Can you read this? What's it say?

Do you know any dwarven text? Oh yeah. And he, he takes it. This says, uh, help. Oh yeah. Glad to be of service. And he turns and he goes back to his machine. Is this ward stone? No, this is iron. Yeah. Yeah. Metal. Yeah. You passed my test. Who's the nerd now? Very well. It's you. It's you. Can I? Do you know? Can you tell me anything about the dwarven wizards of days of your? Yeah. Let's talk about one. Cause I, I don't have a name off the top of my head. Um, Opal Winfrey.

Sasha, Sasha, Opal Winfrey. I do like that. Uh, oh yes. There, uh, I mean there was Sasha Opal Winfrey who was a, um, extremely skilled and respected transmutation. Wizard. Yeah. I've seen their magazines at the library. Yeah. Oh, magazine. I don't understand why they have to be on every cover. I mean, it's their magazine. If you had a magazine. Indulgent. You'd want to be on the cover of all of them as well. That's true. But, um, yeah, Sasha was a powerful transmuter. Hmm.

Wizards existed in all cultures and races around the world. Why do you think they made this that says help this placard? Hmm. He flips a bunch of the letters. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Hmm. He flips a bunch of the lenses on his goggles in and out. Wait, no, hold on. Roll for this. Nice try you fucker. I was wondering what you were going to figure out there.

There should be some- We're just getting so many freebies. Let's call it a spell. Shawn, I just want to have a little conversation with you. Nice try. Let's call it a Spout Lore to determine whether or not he can figure out exactly what it is.

I'd like to use World Talker to see the patterns of makeup, the fabric of the world, and now apply my spirit tongue to pure elements of- earth this is a worked object and I'd like to do the thing that you're saying and roll a spout Lord 26 plus it's why don't you apply your spirit tongue to this do a point into his vagina it's a pretty fat badge that plus with some 11 plus intelligence for spout Lord yeah so that's minus one I got an eight that delta is insane that was a huge spread that was a huge pendulum swing holy shit yeah he says it appears to be tied to some sort of transmutation spell the exact use of it I can't be sure but I'm sure with some experimentation you might be able to figure things out you seem like a canny lad do you mind if I use some of your equipment here in the lab I'd be careful there are many objects here that might be outside your can yeah probably but not for long and then he lowers some safety goggles that he had on top of his head and steps backwards into a lab coat that you didn't know was behind him and then he gets stuck on the hook that the lab coat and walks and has to walk away from the lab coat and Morris watches you walk backwards for a long time with the lab coat it's attached to a coat rack he starts walking does the coat rack fall over he's dragging out Morris Swag's old clothes and then all the lenses click back into place and he turns away okay so can I do some discern realities on this bar in this lab and see if I can run a current through it and maybe polish some of the metal and see if I can get down a couple layers yeah totally I got eight so you get one question off the discern realities list this is great I put some acids on it I squeeze out some lemon onto it you do an egg drop with it do an egg drop near it you just wanted to do an egg drop because it's kind of fun and I'm looking at Morris the whole time with my little sage glasses on upside down did you make a little volcano diagram I slowly lower it I have a stopwatch start it lower it into Morris runs over and he goes Ving look out it's a volcano oh wait seems to be some sort of miniature volcano diorama yes which I made with my own two newspapers incredible Ving just does this it's a montage of Ving doing grade 6 science Morris goes but that egg didn't break at all there's a scene with me with the rubber gloves inside of a cabinet and like he's got the thing on and he's wearing and the soundtrack is like Highway to the Danger Zone and there's like little mini explosions and red lights flashing and then he pulls out and like opens the box really carefully and it's a little blue ribbon that says first prize on it and then I put it on I love the idea of somebody in one of those big dangerous like radioactive boxes putting vinegar into their volcano and it bubbles and they're like oh self-contained every experiment this is a vinegar volcano vinegar and baking soda volcano I think that's so funny where every experiment is the volcano that's just what it ends up being yeah exactly he puts on welding goggles and then he does it and then the volcano and then he looks over at the bar and he's just like fuck and then I write things down and Wadge is standing across the room nodding with his hand on his chin on a chalkboard writing this very elaborate you know equation and you step back and it's just a drawing of a volcano it says baking soda plus vinegar equals and then a picture of Ving and Morris Lodge running away and then you look over at the bar and you're like damn it I like to imagine like Tuck with a mop coming by later in the evening and he solves solves the volcano quick and then a woman and runs up to a woman plus vinegar equals question mark.

He draws a volcano. And then Morrison and Ving chase him down. Hey, wait a second. So yeah, Tuck's in this now. Ving takes off his first prize ribbon, puts it on Tuck. Here's not what it appears to be. It's not a volcano. I'm just imagining Billy as like the Ben Affleck character that's like, you know, man, best part of my day is every day coming by your house and hoping you're not here. How do you like those waffles? My boy's wicked smart. My boy's wicked smart.

Billy used to wake me up with his farts. Billy used to wake himself up by farting. Every night he wakes himself up with a fart. Billy's the Robin Williams character. He's not Ben Affleck at all. Listen here, chief. Don't make fun of my wife. It's not your fault, man. No, not you too. It's not your fault. Don't fuck with me, man. It's not your fault. Don't fuck with me. It's not your fault. Perel's mini driver. In the background, the thing that he's talking about is one of the volcanoes did it.

It's not your fault. God, so fucking funny. What a fucking good bit. So what here is not what it appears to be. Uh, you, you've done at this point, probably 70 to 80 volcanoes and none of them have made any difference. There's a pile of wet paper mache. Everything smells like, uh, like a flower glue recently cleaned bathroom. Yeah. I was like, I'm not making any more vinegar. I don't want to do that anymore. I don't even know what making soda is anymore.

And you're just staring at this little bar and you're like, what the fuck does it do? Did it do anything when I put acid on it? Uh, no, it didn't. It didn't. Reactions, nothing. And then you get a, uh, I think it is kind of a speak friend and enter thing. You're looking at this word and you're like help, but not in English. Oh, I worked in a deep word as an outreach worker with dwarves. So I definitely know the word help. Exactly. Yeah. Are you trying to think of the word? Yeah. Okay.

It can be anything. It can be anything. But if you want to think of a word, I can tell you what the word for help is in Arabic. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Cause they live in there. Yeah. That's just McCall, right? Hmm. What's the Arabic word? It's Musada. Musada. Yeah.

And you're, you hold the bar like you pick it up off its little, uh, pedestal that you made for it while you've been doing your experiments and you say Musada and, uh, it starts to like and it starts to like unfold and fold in on itself. Like it's kind of flowing Morris and it becomes it. Morris runs over and he's like, Oh, he comes over with a beaker full of baking soda and a beaker full of vinegar. No, no, no, no, no, no.

He's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's I think we're at a red food coloring. He keeps running over. And it kind of flows transmutation style into a little metal dwarf that salutes you. What? I salute him back. And it just stands there expectantly. I don't know what to do with this right now. Tuck? You should ask it for something. Go get that pen. And it salutes you and goes and grabs the pen. Oh my God. He's making Mario sounds. And holds it up.

And how this thing is like six inches tall. Yeah. It's like it's a little bit like because I said the bar was about eight inches. So I guess it's four inches because it kind of like molds into a smaller shape. So cute. Oh my God. Four inches tall. And he's holding up the pen. I take the pen. Yeah. And it salutes you and whoop becomes the bar again. Oh my God. Billy's going to take this from you for sure. Billy walks in with a snack. He's like, what's going on? Okay. Sorry.

I thought it was another volcano. Oh yeah. Cool. What do you got there, pal? Nothing. Billy, what are you asking? Hold on. What are you doing? It's just a bag of marshmallows. Where did you get those? The butler. The butler gave you marshmallows? I thought you told the butler to. You can't just eat a bag of marshmallows, Billy. Why? Because it's just marshmallows. Peoples are huge.

Also, I should say, if you told the page, not to get him marshmallows, but then he asked for marshmallows, the page is going to get him marshmallows. You need to put parental controls on the page, dude. I need to? Yes. And he rolls his eyes and he takes his baking soda and vinegar over to a little volcano that he has prepared. Ooh. Billy, we'll deal with this later. And he goes over to the volcano. Can I finish this bag? No. I really wish you wouldn't. Fine. And he hands them over.

I give Billy a bag of granola instead. I don't want this. He kicks it everywhere. What the fuck, Billy? He kicks it. Wow. Drops it to the ground. Kicks it. Koosh. His little, like, five-inch long, like, Billy, you have to clean this up now. No, I don't. As Billy runs out of the room, the camera follows him into the study that you guys have been hanging out in, where you see Maggie is sitting on, like, a love seat around the fire. Like, all the seats that are around the fireplace in here.

And on the table is the horn with the copper cap that you stole from the vault. I grab that because I'm like, Tuck doesn't deserve this. Maggie's reading a book and she's like, Billy, where are you going with that horn? Going to my hidey hole. You have a hidey hole already in here? Of course I do. All right, just be careful. And she continues to read her book. And we go to Billy's hidey hole. There's, like, a big globe, like a world globe. Mm-hmm. That opens up that he crawls into and closes it.

Excellent. Cool. That's very cool. Is it bigger inside than it is outside, or is it just a globe? No, it's just a pretty big globe. Yeah. Next to it is, like, a pile of, like, smashed bottles and stuff. Yes, throwing out his bourbon. Because it used to be, like, a… Oh, a bar globe. A bar globe. There used to be, like, a bunch of, like, crystal bottles of bourbon and stuff. Yeah. The page is outside the globe right now, sweeping it up.

It is, of course, pitch black in there, so he brings it out. And then he brings out his will-o'-the-wisp. Yep, the little bell jingle that heralds its arrival sounds. Yeah, she just curls up by my feet. There's not that much room in here. It's just big enough for us. Yeah. And Billo starts looking at this horn. Okay, sick. So what are we doing? Is this a… Are you trying to remember things about horns like this, or are you trying to examine the horn itself?

I'm just examining it, so I guess discern reality. Yep, 2d6 plus wisdom. 12. 12. Shit, okay, three questions off the list. Can you remind us what the horn looks like? So the horn is like a black, long cattle horn. Rune's carved into maybe the edge around the hole in the horn, and then there's a copper cap inside. Okay, cool. So first question, what here is not what it appears to be? Hmm, what here is not what it appears to be.

The cap, you all, I mean, assumed, based on your experience with the menders, that this was probably placed here by menders, considering they work with copper so much. Mm-hmm. But looking at sort of the scuff and the age on it, you think that this was a part of the original, quote unquote, design of the horn. Okay, cool. I guess, who's really in control here? Ooh, interesting. With the horn. Yeah. Very interesting question. I think this is a memory that comes to you unbidden. Wow.

Can it play out on the inside of the globe? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes, it does. I like that. Maybe one of those planetarium projectors, like the Bill of the Wisps starts projecting these lights on the inside of the globe. Cool. It's got a rotoscope vibe to it. Yeah. It's choppy at first, and then it smooths out. Mm-hmm.

You remember a long time ago, after the Winter War, for sure, when you spent a period of time wandering in your winter form after the battle trying to figure out what was going on. Yeah. Most fairies in their winter, that's a time of settling down and preparing for the end, but the war sort of disrupted that part of your cycle, so there was a while where you just wandered. Okay, yeah.

And you came into contact with a group that existed in the North, and their goal was to quiet the spirits of the dead that had been slain in the war. Oh, okay. Because the North was just overrun with enemies. Yeah. And they were like overrun with angry ghosts for a long time, so there was this group of people that sort of traveled around quieting, putting to rest, or trapping dangerous ghosts. Okay. And you remember them carrying vessels a lot like this horn. Cool.

What should I be on the lookout for? Hmm. You are very… You do find yourself very curious as to who might be trapped in this world. Yeah. As to who might be trapped in this horn specifically. Yeah. Can I read the runes? I don't know. Can you? Yeah. Didn't you… Billy's able to read runes, right? I can read some runes. Yeah. You can read runes. Instinctively. Yeah. So the older the rune, the easier it is for me to read it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay.

So the runic languages, the modern version you find a little hard to read, but you do find that this one is easier to read. And even though the writing is only a couple hundred years old, do you think it's based on an older version? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's probably a little older form of the runes. Okay. That is probably used specifically by these ghost hunters. So sick. Yeah.

The figure that you're talking to in the dream has long dark hair that drapes over a fur cape and then a carved wooden mask. Totally. Oh my gosh. And it has a horn at their hip. I bet they have so many horns and other vessels draped over them. Draped? Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're the keepers of… It's their duty and vocation to stay. To trap and then keep these things. Yeah. The ghost keepers? Or is that… No, that's the name of a person. What about ghost facers? Ghost facers. They face the ghost.

The soul carriers. Ghost fuckers. Because if you're a ghost and you see them, you're fucked. The ghosty lads. Ghosty lads. Wraith walkers. Oh, I like that. Wraith walkers? Yeah. The grave… Ooh. The walking graves. The… The… The… The… The… The… The… The… The graveyard. Oh, I kind… What is it called when you have a graveyard? The walking graves are like the wandering graves. I like the idea that they make themselves their graves. A tomb. Like a graveyard. Yeah.

The wandering tomb. Oh. What's it called when you're buried above ground in a tomb? Oh, it's mausoleum. Mausoleum. Mausoleum. Yeah. The mausoleum. I think mausoleum is a cool name. I think Billy is running through all these names. He's been like, I swear to God I've heard all these names before. I do like that this was just Billy trying to translate, because the literal translation is ghost fucker. And he's like, I don't quite understand. He's like, no one would let me say that.

Yeah, he's like, oh, I'm not allowed that word. Trying to think of other ones. I don't know. It's so hard to remember stuff. The mausoleum is the easiest one to remember. It's just one word. Yeah, exactly. There we go, mausoleum. So you're looking at the runes, because based on who they trapped, the words that they used were different. It would either be like, here is entombed, or we bind thee, or back to hell, that kind of shit. Or if they wanted to go, it's like, we lay to rest. Yeah, exactly.

So what does it start with? In fire and flame, we bound. Yeah. Whoa. Billy's like, so sick. Like, in fire and flame, we bound. You can't quite read the name itself, but you do see of the dark forest. Of the dark forest. Ooh. Oh. Oh my gosh. Wow. It's a dark elf in there? It's a dark elf general, maybe. Cool. Because they're the ones who have the most unfinished business, who died in war. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

So it would seem that bound within this horn by the mausoleum is the unrested spirit of a dark elf general of some kind. All right. And boy, that cap looks like it'd be so easy to just. Pop out of there. Oh, I know they would be so mad. Just like when I kicked all the granola, which I should probably go clean up. Oh, he's learning. If they were mad when I kicked that granola, they're really going to be mad when I release this ghost into the room. Yeah.

And I've never had to fight an evil ghost as a Billy. So I'm too tired to fight a ghost today, I think. Today? Yeah. So I'm going to bring this back out. Billy opens up the globe and he hops out. Yeah. Yeah. You know, when you go to do a matinee. Yeah. You come out, you're like, oh, Jesus. Oh, my God. Cripes. And the wicker, the wisp follows you back to the table where Maggie's sitting and it hops up on the chair and curls up in her lap. I just put the horn back and say nothing to Maggie.

She just looks over and sees that everything is fine. Mrs. Cole. Madam. And goes back to her book. That boy just got up to some shit. He goes, gets the little broom. It's just a hand broom. And he goes and cleans up the granola. And the camera follows Billy back into the workshop where he starts sweeping up granola. Everyone's wearing the big goggles. Standing around a giant paper mache volcano. It is huge. We put that like elephant foam in it. What's that? Oh, the elephant's toothpaste. Yeah.

We put elephant toothpaste in it this time. Uh-huh. And it just shoots like 15 feet into the air. It becomes a solid tower. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah….. We found one in a shipwreck. Okay. Near Hibernia. Aye. And we found one… Oh. In the water? Oh, in a… In a… That moon room. Yeah, in a shrine. At Port Four Frost. At Port Four Frost.

And you have at least the one shard that you looked at. You found but didn't even look at the other shards. But the one that you looked at seemed to reflect a different place. Yeah, it was like… And when we'd move it, it would change perspective. Yeah. Yeah. And more… Are you going to roll anything on this? I'm… Honestly, guys, I'm not invested in the mirror at all. All right. That's weird because it was the only thing that you were like, I found a mirror shard.

I know, but that was because everybody else got something cool. I felt like I had to pretend that I was interested. I mean, I think it's cool, but if you're not keen on it, you can look at the other thing. Yeah, that's fine. I haven't seen one of these intact in a long time. Wait, you've seen this before? And he seems more interested in just like moving the pieces around and trying to fit them in because you don't… You're not invested.

…in what the mirror is, so he's just doing his own thing. Well, yeah, I'll let him do it, but I'll watch out of the corner of my eye. Well, then I guess you're going to roll a 26 points. No, I'm not going to roll anything. I'm just going to stand here silently and very still and watch out of the corner of my eye. And then while he's doing it… Well, I actively think about it more interestingly.

And while you're not being interested, Morris is just mumbling to himself and going, oh, yeah, that's interesting. So you talk about what he's doing. He's playing it cool and pretending not to be interested to get you interested. But it's a little too quiet for you to hear. Okay. So he's just like, oh, that's fascinating. But Billy's on the desk really invested because there's so much secret mumblings happening. And he's eating granola out of the dustpan.

There's so much dust and vinegar in there. There's so much baking soda. It basically just tastes like salt and vinegar chips, but worse. Yeah. And as Morris is moving the pieces around, trying to connect the edges that are broken, you see each piece seems to be reflecting a different location. And as he's moving them, so they're all showing different images. Okay. And as he moves them around, the images change. Oh, whoa. I want to know more.

I guess someone's going to have to roll a 2D6 plus intelligence to Spout Lore. I will do this. Because I'm the one that has this stupid fucking thing. Thank you for your sacrifice. That one was a five. Does this count? Pick that. Did it land flat? Yeah, it's flat. It's super flat. It's a four on his hip. It landed. I'll just roll it again. No, it's fine. You can roll it again. No, I'll take the four. No, that's a seven. So six. No, I have negative intelligence. Yeah, so a six.

So somebody can aid. Yeah. 2D6 plus bond. Trying to just like. I'm playing it cool too. I'm like, yeah, stupid fucking mirrors. I don't give a shit about this, but really cool. Everybody's just edging closer to Morris as he's working. I failed. I got a six. Oh, shit. Can you aid and aid? Can I aid and aid? You can aid and aid, yeah. No way. Yeah, you guys are allowed to aid aids. You just can't double aid. Oh. Yeah. You can help each other get a plus one, but you can't. Cool. Sweet. Eight.

Eight. So seven. Seven. Seven. It only works in really calm settings, actually. What we're doing is we're trying to convince Tuck that it's okay to be interested. Yeah, totally. Yeah. And everybody's moving a little closer being like, what's Morris saying? Oh, Tuck, it's really cool. Are we doing that by also playing it cool? So then it's a reverse psychology. Like, no, no. I'll actually. I am interested. Yeah. I say, don't worry, Tuck. You don't want to know about this.

Like, it'll just be me and Ving learning. Those are really interesting, but you don't have to be interested in them. I'm like, fuck you guys. I'll come over there and do whatever. Don't be excluded from stupid fucking thing. Is Tuck acting like this because the volcano is so cool. And then this has been like a big decline. Yeah. Ving's experiments are super cool. I have the feeling that Billy's thing was awesome. And I feel like this thing's going to be a piece of shit.

Well, I've got good news and bad news for you. It is a piece of shit, but only because we don't have all of the pieces or any connecting pieces. And he shows you and it's like just the very like tip of the shards kind of touch. Oh. And there's like three pieces that would fill in the rest of it to create what looks like a mirror, maybe about three feet tall, two feet wide. Can we lay them out like where they would be in the two feet by three? Yeah, totally. So it's showing different places.

Like each shard shows a different place. But because they're not connecting, they're not showing one full picture. You're just getting like flashes of different places. This. I mean, I haven't seen one of these in a long time, but this is a looking glass. What do they do? They were created by a wizard who went by the name. Master Mirror. I know. M&M. I know. Master Mirror. So lame.

He got very irate if you called him anything but Master Mirror to the point where I don't know if he had another name. Oh my god. What's wrong with you people? Sorry. I just realized. Chuck and Billy take a step away from Vick. I'm so sorry. A couple desks around you slide away like six inches. And then wow, the elven heritage really came out there. I'm sorry. That was my father speaking. And the desks slide back into place. And all three of you do too.

You realize that you moved across the floor as Morris got a little mad. They were basically just a way to create long distance communication for people. You'd stand in front of the mirror. You'd think of somebody who had a mirror as well and you would be able to speak as if they were right in front of you. Oh, okay. So what we're seeing is probably where the other mirrors are. I would assume so. That is very astute, young Billy. Thanks. I've been learning today. Wow.

I didn't actually put that in. That's pretty cool. Do you think that, like your mastery over the spaces you've built, do you think the master mirror, Bing rolls his eyes, would also have sight into each mirror that he made? Oh, I would assume so. If perhaps only through his own devices. Though I this is an unfortunate circumstance, but master mirror, could not be swayed to the wizard's first ideology, so it is very likely that he is no longer with us. Or trapped in a box. Or trapped in a box!

Or any, what may be perhaps encased in some sort of magical ice coffin that he escaped from. Could be anything. But, um, without him here, there's no way to know. I believe that is what we have most of the pieces to. Okay. Cool. It is cool. But if you are not interested, feel free to go, um, away. The thing that I kind of actually wanted to look into is what's going on with this thing in my chest. Oh! The coin in my chest? Oh, yeah. This, uh, is not my area of expertise. Okay.

So to speak, but what… Why is this not made out of paper? Hilarious. You're really rude sometimes. Texas! I like that there's just something about Morris that rubs Bing the wrong way. He's an asshole. I don't trust him. Fair enough, honestly. But there's no need for, to be rude. What was it you were hoping to learn? I just want to know, so there, I think there is a demon in here, but is this doing anything to me? Also, why did it shoot into my chest? I am not an iconographer.

I have never heard of white obsidian. As you have previously stated, you're the only person that's ever made it? Yeah. As far as you're aware, I've been away for a century. I don't think I can help you. Okay. That's fine. But there are many books in this place. Perhaps one of them may hold the information you seek. Fuck. And Perel walks up to you as you walk away and goes, they're not going to. They're all, most of them are fake books.

But, you know, who might know, a little bookwormer, a bookworm situation, perhaps. Maybe we contact our old friends at the library. Oh. Maybe. Did we? What was on the last bookworm we sent? Where is that guy? I was wondering about that last episode, if we should send a bookworm telling them that we're at the Allwaters Tower. Oh, right, yeah, because that's why they gave us the bookworm, was so that we would let them know that we're here.

And as you're all debating this, sort of in the study area, you are suddenly taken with a massive shape next to you that emerges. What the fuck? Holy shit. Of course you did not see me. I am stealthy as the night. I think you should come with me. I was scouting ahead in this horrible place. I found the surface. You need to come. Okay. Okay. This bag is weird, but come with me back to normal world. Join me outside of bag. There is something outside in the tundra that you must see. Uh, okay, yeah.

What, what is it? Things are, it is too, they would take too long to tell you. Longer than leaving here with you? There is no time to say. Okay. So steal yourselves to leave this bag and think on what might be discovered. I don't think we were in a zone to accept, like, an energy of urgency, because we're kind of just, like, slumped in a bunch of love seats around a fire. So he's standing there waiting for you all to get up. Billy's struggling to get out of the beanbag chair he's laying in.

Time is of the essence. Please move. Okay. Big chair. I mean, if you could tell us and maybe we'd hurry. There is no time. Please grab your stuff. Have a snack if you need to. Take a rest. You want to sleep? Go to washroom. Then hurry, because time is of the essence. Tech Lake goes, huh? He peels himself up and you hear that sound of, like, leather peeling away from a bare bag. Shlick. Take your time. Get up slow. Be careful. Don't pull hamstring. But time is of the essence.

Alright, so five minutes later, Billy has gone to the bathroom and he's wrapped a little cloak around himself and it has a bindle. Tech made a bunch of little sandwiches. Sandwiches? Like the kind that you take to the beach? Yeah, totally. Okay, let's go. There is no time. And he starts running out of the fanny pack and into the tower. Oh my god, running? I know. I run to follow. I told you there is no time. And he leads you to the mouth of, like, an ice cave.

You feel, like, the cold blowing winds of the tundra and the ice is, like, ice extends before you. Oh, so this is, like, the front door of the, like, the actual entrance to the tower? Yeah, this looks like this is, like, the above ground entrance to this place. Is it day or night? It's day. And you emerge into the blinding white light of an arctic day. Whoa. Yeah, the light's glittering off all the crystals in the air, so it's just this, like, sheet of white light.

It is so blinding to the point where, like, you can't see anything and you can't expect that there would be anything out here. I have a light sight. Oh, yeah. So, at first, you see nothing. But Vic, like, sniffs the air. His, like, big wolf head lifts to the sky. Ving's head tilts back, too. He sniffs. You smell a familiar smell. Oh, sorry. Jesus Christ. He starts wafting behind his back. Those bergam fruit sandwiches? I found them in the palace. Oh, God. So, once those sulfurous fumes pass…

Oh, God. I can taste it in my nose. You, uh, you catch You catch a familiar scent. One that's comforting, but also upsetting. A deep memory. Something that you've hoped that you could've forgotten forever, but it is brought up in you unbidden. Yeah. It's a smell like moss and ice. Old leather. Resin. The smells of the north end of the great forest. And you see a figure approach through the snow. Victor starts to emit a low, rumbling growl.

A hood is pulled down as a cloak, wreathed in white, ends the refraction, the camouflage inherent in buttermoth silk. And you see the dark countenance of Nathaniel, your father, the ranger king. And he walks forward and he says, I hear you've been looking for me. What took you so long? … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … Father, oh father, our time has come not. … … The blade is now sharp, and the moon is now high. … …

A daughter once treasured, now she must flee. … … But the stalwart son returns to thee. … Maiden, oh maiden, your heart is now bare. … … … … Caught deep inside, the devil's dark snuff. … … … With salt and sand and broken key. … … … The stalwart son returns to thee. … … Brother, oh brother, your winter has come. …

An army now marches to the beating of drums With the waking of the wandering free The stalwart's son returns to thee Sailor, oh sailor, your port has been burned The love that you seek will not be returned At the ringing of bells and the boiling of seas The stalwart's son returns to thee Devil, oh devil, the flock has been lost The sheepherder's kindness does come at a cost The waxing flame, it bends the knee To the stalwart's son who returns to thee Liar, oh liar, your road has been run The die has been cast and the game has been won Men must abide, but gods they live free The stalwart's son returns to thee The stalwart's son returns to thee The stalwart's son returns to thee Hunter, oh hunter, your quarry has fled The holly and heather will soon be your bed As you lay to rest near the burning tree The star is now in the air As you lay to rest near the burning tree The stalwart's son returns to thee The stalwart's son returns to thee The stalwart's son returns to thee The stalwart's son returns to thee The stalwart's son returns to thee Children, oh children, do not speak my name I've done all I've done and would still do the same To the one who calls the apogee To the one who calls the apogee To the one who calls the apogee My stalwart's son has returned to me