Episode 1 – A Thousand Spout Lore Dollars

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your guest, Game Master Sean O'Hara Joining me as always, Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz Hello everybody Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers Hello And Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hello We've got a brand new camera set up and we are enamored with it I'm looking right down the barrel folks What's going on?

This is so fun Yeah, Ryan's gonna be so stoked Oh good Yeah, he only uses the one shots for the socials So it's like everything that he has access to is gonna be the crispiest, most beautiful crunchiest, grimy-est lens he's ever seen And that's for you Ryan Yeah Check after this my friend We don't have to give him permission, we have to beg him to stop Please audience, help us Gotta stop looking at our videos When last we left our heroes, things had gotten a little complicated in the quest to capture and trick Callum Blackhammer Billy's position beneath the palace courtyard and the construction of his fairy fort was revealed And he sent the hordes of the congregants after the young boy Ving took off to try and catch up Tuck was unconscious?

Somewhere in the palace Being bullied by a bunch of nerds And Billy, on being pursued by the horde, disappeared into the canals beneath Blackglass Palace Uh, Tuck, a warrior? Uh, Tuck, a warrior? Tuck awoke in a chamber tied to a chair face to face with who other than Allison You have me at a disadvantage Allison the succubus tucks, uh, something? Paramore?

I guess, he does, I think he's, she's the girl he thinks about more than any other gal He is certainly at the very least obsessed with her in some fashion At the very least Yeah Um, and Allison started asking him questions about their plans What they were, what they knew Uh, pressing, prying questions Specific questions Until Tuck finally realized that he was speaking to the Medjay in possession of the icon of deception Mm-hmm Uh, and then tried to turn the tables, flipping it on the Medjay by deceiving him But, of course, with the icon of deception at your disposal, deception has no effect on you Mm-hmm So he simply left the room Uh, Billy, creeping through the canals, trying to find his family Pursued by the splashing of the congregants behind him Made a deal with the aspect of Lillian lurking deep beneath the palace, uh, for protection Uh, in exchange for carrying on the rage that she felt at her betrayal Mm-hmm And entombment Billy found himself in a tunnel directly beneath the chair at, uh, to which Tuck was tied Thankfully, hidden from view by the wooden bottom of the chair Otherwise, the loincloth Tuck would have provided quite a view I think I was still wearing the You were still wearing chaps, thank God Chaps at that point Thank God But my dick and balls were out As long as it's funny, they're out No, I Sleeve had called it your beaver In that episode I heard that the other day when I was listening and I laughed at myself It got me off guard Uh, Ving tried to head off the horde to protect Billy from, uh, the coming danger And was found face to face with Lionel Mackenzie King Mm-hmm Still on contract to take the three of you down Still trying to do his job Mm-hmm Um, and not just for the money, but for pure enjoyment He fucked up so bad though He really did There was a fight that went on, a duel of sorts Uh, during which both employed all of the tricks at their disposal But unfortunately, Lionel Mackenzie King was disarmed And then thrown into a horde of congregants Mm-hmm And left to his own devices Really kind of highlighted his weakness Yeah He's a guy He's just a guy Angry guy with a gun Yeah There was a thing where you kicked him into the horde of congregants And you were going, you went, this guy's got a fire sale on pomegranates Yeah And you just knew in his head, he was thinking Lionel Mackenzie King never forgets He will never I was so mad that I didn't say that At the end of that episode I was so mad at myself What would he impose?

Next arrived the gibbous man to speak to Tuck to try and make a deal Mm-hmm The way things are going It would behoove all three of you to join him Something that he attempted with Billy And then Tuck The gibbous man seems to fear the three of you Quite a lot And is trying to get you on his side Mm-hmm Tuck, of course, not susceptible to the manipulations of the gibbous man Just by purely being so antagonistic!

Causing the Gibbous Man to snap a little bit and reveal more than he should have, that his plan is to release Lillian from her tomb, but not before he gathers the disparate pieces of the moon that exist in various places in the world so that he can control her and ensure that she does not break her confines and immediately kill him. Yeah. But to break Lillian out of the tomb, he needed TLC. And if Tuck wasn't going to help him, then he would take it and do it himself.

Billy, hearing this in his fairy form, went to go head the Gibbous Man off and created a fairy circle around him and Black Spire, who was chained up in the chamber after very briefly helping Tuck via a powerful beam of light the episode before. Black Spire's so cool now. He's doing his best. Yeah. He looks really cool and is not cool, which I think is most of you guys too. Yeah. Like your fandom. I see heroes and just so frustrating as people. Yeah.

Tuck cut his dick when he was going down that staircase. Of course he would. Why wouldn't he? Tuck broke out of his chains after this and smashed through the door, grabbing by the throat Victoria LeBlanc, meeting up with Ving. A brief tussle ensued as Mears, now a warrior and hireling, showed up to try and hold her off as you two reunited with the fairy Billy in the chamber containing. Black Spire. From here, Black Spire was released from his chains with the help of Ving.

He then immediately splattered the Medjay that had been keeping him captive. Ew. While Billy in his fairy fort tried to protect TLC and the Gibbous Man attempted to make a deal with Billy. Let him have the axe. Everything will be fine. Billy denied these advances, threatening to call Mother Never Was. The Gibbous Man stayed, asked Billy not to, and then they had sort of a father, son conversation.

Billy revealing that he, somewhere deep in himself, considers himself a child of the Gibbous Man, as do all fairies. I've got goosebumps all over my body. Oh, cool. The Gibbous Man justified his actions. Billy asked why he lied about his involvement with the imprisonment of Lillian, revealing in his justifications of his actions that he was in fact involved directly in the imprisonment of Lillian, working with Chimes.

To entomb her in the tower so that he would have enough time to complete his other plan of controlling Lillian once she was released, to finally wipe the slate clean, get rid of the mortals, and rebuild his material plane as he saw fit. And re-assimilate his family. Yeah, return to godhood. Yeah. As he believes he and all his children deserve. Project his blame onto the weight of the world. Exactly. Yeah. I didn't cause all of this. You did. You made me do this. Look what you made me do.

Exactly. Look what you made me do. It was such a battle cry for shitty dads. It's awful. Yeah. The Gibbous Man went away. His plans momentarily foiled. Victoria and Mears showed up during their duel, and the party kind of regrouped, and Billy's still in his fairy form. Next, a bunch of really big things all happened in a row. Tuck destroyed the tattoo on Victoria, chaining the icon of vengeance to her. Billy convinced it to hunt the Gibbous Man.

After hearing the conversation about how he despises his children for their ungratefulness, Ving bound the icon to his family spear and hurled it through a cleft in reality as the Gibbous Man traveled beneath the palace. So fucking sick, dude. It was so cool. Down deep below, contemplating the piece of the moon that he had recovered. It's one more piece of the moon that the Gibbous Man has. Damn it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that is where we find our heroes now. We kind of talked about this. We're not coming right back into the moment. We're sort of in a place where the immediate danger of the moment has passed. You can all feel and hear that the sounds of the congregants, their violent mob, have dimmed to almost silence from where you are. The feeling of oppressiveness that Callum's power put out has also ended.

What do we see when we first come back? It's sort of like the first Dawn of the Dead where there's just people splayed out all over the place. A lot of unconscious party goers. Or people kind of like gaunt, sobbing in a corner. You can see tear-streaked cheeks under their masks. And a title. A wave of destruction of the mob that had made it out. Yeah. Shattered furniture. Torn wallpaper. Yeah.

Like a big ice sculpture in the hallway has been tipped over and is shattered on the ground and is melting into the carpet. The country kids were here. Deep cut. Oh my God. Several blocks away. Three people take their masks off and go, that was really bad. We really fucked that up really bad. And then one of them pulls a ripcord and a balloon and floats and they all float away. Yeah. And then I think back like in the ballroom, the orchestra in the center, nowhere to be seen.

It's housing is empty, but you hear no music. Oh no. He's gone full anus loveless. Callum, I mean. And there is, yeah, there are whorls of blood on the ground from the waltzing of the congregants. Oh, the pattern of the spell that he was casting. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of the torches that were being used as constellation stand-ins have gone out. The glittering in the glass orchard in the middle of the courtyard has dimmed. Oh. It's just dull. Gray in here. Yeah. It's just dull. It's just dull.

It's just dull. It looks more like it. Whereas before it looked like buffed pieces of the night sky. Now it looks like dirty ice. Like it's just gray lake ice. Cool. Some life has left this place and influence has ebbed away. Cool. I think once in a while we hear like emergency bells far off. Like ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh, in the city. Yeah. Yeah. And then like crackling maybe. But like deep far off things are happening. They're starting up. Mm-hmm. I guess, yeah.

I want to see what each of you is doing, I guess, as you walk through. So let's see like Tuck walking through this place. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Kind of archway windows and go to balconies so he's like looking at the view of the city as like the fires start yeah yeah yeah so you're looking out and you see like the fire that maybe you guys started maybe you didn't and the bakery has grown and is crawling across that part of town no right but you hear the like ding ding ding ding ding ding as uh fire crews are responding now ving I want to examine the crystal ceiling and the crystal trees yeah totally so ving is walking through kind of like running his hands down the trees and stuff like that yeah I would go over to the altar where his arm was is so this is discern realities I got uh seven plus wisdom yep yeah great ten yep three questions uh what here's useful or valuable to me did they leave any of the tattoo stuff behind yeah there's unfortunately nothing like that around what would they leave something that is you know um interesting but not necessarily vital because callum would not forget stuff that would totally ruin him oh you know what I think where his arm was maybe he did go a little bit faster than he expected to because you know he sent the congregants off after billy but near where his hand is almost like it fell underneath one of the chairs and was lost is a small um signet ring with a with a chip of black stone set in the in the setting I pick it up you have uh you now have a ring in your hands full dnd great just remember this this is this is something that you can look at later but right now is probably not the time um what should I be on the lookout for uh you are probably very curious as to where callum is and where the magi are the presence that you felt like you've walked around you have a spiritual sensitivity that few people on the planet do you are absolutely certain that both callum and the magi are gone the two remaining magi of course being the two remaining magi are gone and the two remaining magi are gone um malice and patience yeah black spire is like scraping the bottom of his like a dog like he's kicking it up against the wall I sense a smear of deception in the room now he keeps lifting his leg like a dog that has something between his legs um so wherever whatever their plan was um you assume patience and callum had something to do with this they had an out they had note yeah uh what here's not what it appears to be there was a curtain that was covering the walls creating this like interior courtyard place you know you go through the curtain and then there's the door there you see the curtains moving on the far side of the courtyard near the door to the entry hall and you see two people in masks um trying to escape but they look surprisingly hardy right now they're trying to escape they turn and they see you and they kind of look at each other and give like a oh and they take their masks off and it is um two of the brass castle boys and they're like oh my god I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared oh okay I put down the ashtray I was gonna throw it it is arty and rookin uh and they're like well there you are that was quite a bust up huh yeah did uh did one two and three find you no they found us temporarily but they you know they took off it's just the way it is here you got kind of look out for number one they knew we were alive and they bounced all right so it's just me arty and rookin a reasonable manageable member amount of npcs that remain on the scene oh and then victoria wakes up yeah and rookin when he says that nods but says nothing because we can't afford to pay him union rates he's getting a day rate that's it yeah and he looks at uh victoria over your shoulder is that who I think it is yeah we got a special delivery here from mr deering a special one thousand dollar delivery coin a special one thousand coin delivery he said to go literally a thousand spout lord dollars eight years and we have never used dollars one thousand spout lord dollars this is like when your dad calls youtube the youtube it is not like that and it is the youtube I read it on the facebook okay so they decided they're going to join you on their way back to the hideout but is there anything else that we want to do here billy it is worth mentioning you kind of have the palace to yourselves yeah there was that little room what was in that little room oh that was his office yeah maybe that's what billy was doing he was looting okay rifling through totally so billy just split off and went straight to the office yeah he had to wedge himself out of the pipe but uh all the you guys were helping me along and I was like yeah I'm gonna go to the office and I'm just getting narrower I have to get to the wider spots and that took me upstairs I forgot right so we we cut back to a scene the chair's been pushed aside you guys are face to face through this great and billy's like I'm just gonna go the other way I mean you guys go upstairs the pipe gets fatter that way I have to go where the pipe is fat billy you gotta suck it okay buddy I'm doing it oh yeah we yeah!

He comes out like a can of soup like cranberry sauce yes your sound effects are pretty good today they're really good dude they're so good oh great so a few like a I don't know a few minutes later billy pops out of a toilet yeah I dumped a bunch of lube in there to help why did you have a bunch on you victoria did it was a wedding night sean wedding night and callum is famously yeah I dumped a bunch of lube in there to help you why did you have a bunch on you victoria did it was a wedding night sean it was a wedding night and callum is famously better than you and billy's like I'm gonna take you to the bathroom and I'm gonna take you to the bathroom bad at getting girls wet oh my god would be so true he would not be good at that but I'm cunning I'm cunning yeah well you're terrible at cunnilingus uh okay great so yeah billy squirts out of a toilet later on a congregate in there jesus mary and joseph trying to take a shit yeah and yeah so I imagine billy just wandered through and was like yeah he has to dry off so he's like I am going to poke around I mean there's there's there's so many rooms in this palace you walk past a couple of like chambermaids that are like sprinting out there with like a big yeah a big bag of shit yeah no it is like it's like that zombie movie thing where the only time you see a person is when they are running past you so fast yeah and you make your way back to the office where but a day or two ago uh you did combat with the magi I do want to have a look around I forget what to roll though oh this would be a discern realities yes I will do that um so yeah you can roll a 2d6 plus wisdom seven one question off the list oh what here is useful or valuable to me okay so you spend a good amount of time um poking around you like grab his garbage can and you're looking in there and you're like nope nothing in here I toss stuff around yeah great time you're throwing pillows off the little shades throwing pillows I'm I'm wrapping myself in blankets and looking in the mirror and going making little voices and stuff making little voices like what like oh I'm the king of the castle you go sit over there I'll sit over here and then I do that for a while there's a congregation of stuffed animals yeah I tell them watch me while I look at all my stuff I'm going to do a show and tell okay and I I don't know I pull drawers out and I'm like oh my god I'm gonna do a show and tell but I pull stuff off the shelves I knock one shelf over because I'm top heavy he leans out too far while on a shelf and the whole thing goes down okay I will not show and tell those things you are you know with your finely honed thief senses as you are having fun as only billy can uh you're like pulling drawers out and you're like nothing boring nothing nothing and then as you pull one drawer out you realize that the bottom of the drawer is higher than the than the lowness of the drawer would suggest oh there's a trap door in here so you press around on the bottom and click oh my god what's in there it's a bunch of letters oh I can't read any of these so then I show them to my teddy bears um what does it say what does it say and uh uh gerald the elephant takes a look at the papers and goes I don't know billy I think that might have to have a look at this that's a good idea um so I grabbed the softest scarf that's been that was hanging in there and I wrap it around myself and I go on my adventure to show you guys yeah but then as you're leaving you hear wait a second you turn back and uh courtney the crow is like you could just destroy the letters who's courtney the crow it's one of the stuffed animals in here that's scared jessica you just scared jessica you could just destroy those letters then no one will have to read them reading is boring billy's unnamed no no this is billy's play coming to life and then but then billy goes but knowing stuff is fun I guess so and then a stuffed bear comes out he's like also don't trust courtney she abuses her husband you don't know anything about our relationship and shut up jerald I leave while they fight courtney I could hear you through the walls you shouldn't talk to him like that I'm gonna go to bed I'm gonna go to bed and billy emerges oh no I hope this doesn't continue for their sake it's like toy story reverse toy story the second billy leaves the room complete silence okay thank gosh um and you emerge back into the courtyard you see your family and black spire who is kind of nosing around the discarded buffet oh yeah slurping out meatballs well he is sniffing for food but all he can find is like meats and fruits and grains isn't the whole palace made out of obsidian no the palace is made out of obsidian and the palace is made out of obsidian and the palace is not made out of obsidian it is made out of stone though but he doesn't find it very appetizing okay yeah I like that he thinks that there's a big chunk of ice that he's like shiny stuff he's made out of water I think he tried to eat some of the glass yeah he's just like eating a tree he's like I don't even like this I'm just hungry I just want the flavor and he sees billy come through the door he goes billy what's going on he's sniffing you a lot can you read let me see I've been living in a library oh yeah so you're really smart now and he spreads he spreads the papers out on the ground and you see his giant eye like tipping down to one of them and he goes this is writing I thought so all right he's actually learned a lot glad I could help he goes and chews on some more glass trees yeah there's a butterfly in here for some reason oh you hear a bunch of thundering behind you and billy has returned billy hey look what I found I'm showing you the paper whoa they were in a secret spot so they must be important where did you find it in uh kelm's drawer in the office billy we told you to come straight back to us no you said to go dry off no I didn't did you tell him to go dry off before coming back we could have dried him off did you tell him I did not say that you said ew billy you came out of the toilet I find some sanitizer and sanitize the boy yeah I'm just spritzing him yeah we do the thing that you do with a dog where you trap it in a towel for a bit and then I'm like I'm just feeding them pizza bites to keep them calm he just put some peanut butter on one of the glass trees and billy licks it so you can dry them and then he runs away and I go to beg a go I got most of it off I think I clipped some of his nails whoa that's good you didn't even notice uh so the papers seem to be corny and I'm like oh my god I'm gonna go to bed I'm gonna go to bed I'm gonna go to bed I'm gonna go to bed I'm gonna go to bed I'm gonna go to bed I'm gonna go to bed it would take some time to go through this and determine what they actually if any information if what they contain can we get some to's and from's who who are the writers to's and from's are names that you do not recognize but the writing style is very formal which leads you to believe that it is other leaders or um people of importance or perceived importance a bunch of people who think they're important let's keep their mail okay yeah yeah I'm also gonna keep this ashtray it's really crystal a It looks super heavy.

I don't smoke, but I might if I have this ashtray. If I look this cool while I do it, and I try to glint it through the light. Yeah. Try to make rainbows on the ground for Billy and Black Spire to chase. And it's working. It is working. Yeah. But yeah, unless you have anywhere else that you want to explore in here. Like the idea is endless, but I think we should go, right? Yeah. I'm hearing more like crashing outside. Yeah. And more alarms and more shouting. Oh, shit. Right. We got to.

What the fuck happens if Pither and Yon burns down? Oh, my God. I don't know. Can it burn down? I don't know. He starts rifling in his pockets for his keys. We should get out of here. You have the keys, right? Yeah. Of course, I've got my keys. Do you have your keys? Yes, I've heard. Let's go. Now, so is the plan here? Do you want to put? The pertinent people in Hither and Yon and then go meet up with Sam Deering? Or do you want to hand off Victoria?

I think that if we think that maybe we're not sure about the existence of Hither and Yon, if a fire reaches it, we would go there first. Yeah. Yeah. Well, like Mears can drag it to any door with his keys because he's got the barman's keys. And that's that takes priority over anything, basically. Cool. So he runs over to a door that, you know, this was the door that Billy went through when he was exploring and he like closes it.

And then he stands, he jams the key into the lock and turns it and boop, there's Hither and Yon. What does it look like when it transforms? The door itself does not transform, but we, you do see, cause there's always a sign. What is the sign in this case? Maybe like a curtain kind of falls off and then it's just like above it. Like a old plaque. A curtain like, yeah, comes away from it's like moorings as he puts it in and it flaps down and you see a sign above that says Hither and Yon.

I like that a lot. And you pop it. And you pop it. And you pop it. And you pop it. And you pop it. And you pop into the front room that you're all familiar with, the barrel tables and the fireplace off to the left and the bar across from the door. Do the Brass Castle gang come with us? They can. They're able to walk in as long as they have no, as long as they, all right.

So they're about to walk in and then they stop at the doorway and Artie looks around and kind of like tries to walk forward again and is unable to walk through. Hey, you have I'll intention. Oh, I was going to scam you. Yeah. What? How? I was just, I was going to wait until you were all getting comfy and cozy and then I was going to grab LeBlanc and I was going to bounce. Okay. Well, fucking meet us at Samuel Deering's place then. All right. Fine. Come on, Rookin.

And Rookin nods, but says nothing. Oh, that guy doesn't talk. What happened to him in there? Bet he got his tongue cut out or something crazy. Gibbous man did it to him. Bet you he did. Now we have a real reason to go after him. Finally, stakes. And you head in and all of like the shutters are open and you can see through into the palace through windows that you are absolutely certain are not actually outside. And then mirrors just to be safe, locks the door.

The shutters close and you are safely ensconced within hither and yon. What do you, what do you go from here? I think Black Spire is in front of the fireplace. Kind of like click clacking. Like it's like he's like, oh, I'm going to go in there. I'm going to go in there. I'm going to go in there. It's like drying off like an owl or something. All of his scales. I have a question and you guys are going to hate me for this. How does it look when he gets through the front door?

Is it more like you kind of, he, you see him walk through, but it doesn't really make sense. Is he a rhinoceros size? He is the way I have always imagined him. So maybe this is where we're coming from. Okay. From different spots. He is bare minimum as wide as this room. Okay. And honestly, probably as long as this room. No. Sort of like a huge.

Elephant he's massive and maybe when he put his key in the door and the curtain fell off of above then like a panel falls away and there's a second door you know I mean like this totally oh because that's a thing that bars have is they have stables and stable doors oh so maybe he's in the stable right mirrors kind of like came out and opened the stable doors that came into existence beside it you know what I really like like the big friendly giant he walks over to a side of the room yes and there's a there's a like a barn door style window that he unlatches and he swings it open and black spire sticks his head through the wall and it's right next to the fireplace yeah he's like what's up there's so much hay in here smells like horses are there horses in there uh I wish bro I love horses the guy that carried me around for a while I was on horseback I spent a lot of my early my whelpling life in a saddlebag oh cute horses are cool man they're huge they're like 10 times as big as me oh you haven't seen a horse in a long time have you we realize he has no sense of scale horses are like 500 feet tall anyway I'm gonna be in here if you need me okay uh mirrors do you have somewhere that we can put this and then I slam victoria on the bar her head bounces off the wood I go up to uh perella and morris's room we get a bunch of handcuffs and we're like oh my god I'm gonna be in here oh hither and yon is a place of rest relaxation and repose I do not have anywhere where I can keep a prisoner that is just not part of the building yeah what if we just eat the hat the handcuffs and then we roll her up in the rug and then it's kind of like she's resting too yeah it's true it's actually not a terrible idea I mean we do know that if she wakes up and she has I'll intent she's gonna be in there and she's gonna be in there and she's gonna be in there and she's gonna be in there and she's gonna be in there and she's gonna be in there and she's gonna be in there and she's gonna be in there and she's gonna be in there and she's gonna be in there and she will be ejected which we can't let that happen because we gotta get a thousand coins I get that money is this really what you guys are worried about is money yeah it's a thousand coins after all of that we've never had that much money dude I need to know one thousand coins exists in the world yeah okay I'm just saying I just dueled a bloodthirsty pirate queen you three fought the god of the sky okay okay it's not about the money it's just there's an army coming there's a lot of people who might not want to fight on our side if we have means we could make a stand more potent okay fine that's do you want some of the money yeah you get a new chair yeah he kind of think about all this stuff in the bar that you have to pay money to fix well people come in they pay money for their food and their drink and that's mostly how I feel about it yeah I think that's a good point I think that's a good point I think that's a good point I think that's a good point I think that's a good point maintain it and then every once in a while a bunch of money shows up in a lockbox under the bar what but I guess I could use a couple extra coins goes and tries to wrench only I can open the lockbox fine and then he starts thinking about how he would steal and then billy's chair goes I just wanted to see it I just want I just wanted to see it bing's wagging his finger billy's face as he's sliding backwards towards the door bing's finger wags out of frame and slides away do we get kicked out of hither and yon no no no okay we stop as long as you realize what you're doing yeah is not cool and accept that you are not gonna do it okay but if you try to rob the innkeeper of hither and yon that's like the worst thing you can do okay let me ask jessica and paul let me ask you guys a character specific question if you knew that there was a box that just had money show up in it randomly would you be able to stop thinking how you would steal that money I would but like okay I think what billy's thinking is like it's more like this is so cool I'm very curious and he starts thinking of all the ways he could but more in like a fantasy thing because in it but because because over top of that you're not gonna he's like I would never steal from mirrors right my favorite boy yeah I think what bing is thinking is like this is a cool feature of my house yeah it is already where would I take it this is where I would take it and tuck is outside of the bar I think there is a difference between thinking about how you would do something and deciding you're going to do it starts writing a fan fiction there you go that's allowed and he's allowed back in the bar if it stays fan fiction if you want to be ejected from hither and yon you can't do that you can't do that you can't do that no no no no I would rather hesitate but it is funny that we get we slide around a couple times and by the time that you've all finally agreed to the fact that you're not going to hold mirrors at gunpoint and rob him uh he has put several rows of handcuffs on the wrists forearms and legs of victoria leblanc she ain't going nowhere okay cool he's like wow these are strong what do those guys get up to I want to chain it to the front of the bar and I'm like okay I'm gonna floor uh to a chair yeah totally you can do the like um clink clink clink yeah she's like she's chained up and she's on the ground I'm like you know you put down some stuff so it's not so inhumane like some sacks has put like pillows under her yeah he put her in a booth and we chained her to the table yeah I imagine there's one chowder yeah there's chowder it's chained to the table for some reason I imagine because I love when I think about hithering on I think it's such a mismatched place that I think there's like one diner's not actual diner style but there's a booth in one corner yeah that's like a sit down goes around the whole corner booth and she's in there um and you're realizing as he's doing this you see her him like arranging a pillow behind her unconscious head and putting some food there that 30 minutes ago she was trying to kill him I think that this I think you guys are like wow mirrors is yeah this is just it's just a really good person it's like yeah she was trying to kill him but she's in hither and yon now and I'm supposed to take care of her uh-huh so and here you are you're safe your prisoner is temporarily um restrained what is the plan I think I've laid out the letters on the big table oh yeah along the bar pull up some warm grog so this is step one is read these letters yeah okay yeah while we like just hang out wait for rookin and arty yeah to walk back yeah it's not a long way to go I see you're giving them time to get back to the hideout and the and it's also cold sharp dark piece of shit place yeah where my blonde sharp asshole wife tried to kill us I do not I want to kind of spend a little bit of time in a nice place yeah so the fire's crackling away that's what I say to mirrors I want to just spend a little bit of time in a nice place yeah that makes sense oh man I have at this point I have such a firm idea of the layout of hither and yon in my head and I just love it I just love how it looks because near the fire I'm like oh my god I'm like oh my god I'm like oh my god I'm like oh my god is what I imagine is kind of like a living room ish setup where like that's where the comfortable furniture is there's like chairs and tables or chairs and a table and a couch zone a bay window near there yeah there's and there's books in there too there's like bookshelves and then like a bench oh nice um and then there's the fireplace and now black spire's gigantic dragon head um yeah because he said you know I'll be in here but then he didn't leave and he's just kind of looking at all of you like just very happy he does the dragon equivalent of like a which is like a deep like rumble it sounds like yeah all the water glasses yeah yeah when he breathes out like smoke curls out of his nose oh cool because he's I think what that sound is is he's stoking oh the fires inside oh cool that's so sick yeah right because I I described that they use the fire that's how they digest right like they don't have stomach acid they have like a a burning organ maybe early on yeah so yeah he's kind of like uh yeah okay so the fires crackling away mirrors is in the kitchen clanking around he is doing what he needs to do to unwind which is cook some food and relate yeah yeah and the letters are laid out these are letters that have come to him but they're members of the eye right that's what you said no just just that they are important people okay I really like the idea that it is people of importance in principality society who are secretly members of the eye okay who can we reveal as an actual evil baddie what's his nuts what was wind river's dad's name uh lee masterly the masterlies are absolutely on this the masterlies are on there what was that lady in the north solaris or solara van kieran who is the current uh she is the head of like the sun peaks faction faction of the great forest and she's your aunt right thing yeah yeah so I think if you guys are going to glean any information from this letter you will it will require a role any actionable information because what you're seeing is the number the names of important people lee masterly senior industrialist very very wealthy man solara van kieran elvin noble very powerful influential woman also she it was told to you by one of her underlings that she is a warlock uh-huh she's also the reason why ving's mom is dead yes because she sold out um iliana or as we know now as we know now adernac all water and she's the reason why dathaniel was chained under the tree for a hundred years yes betrayed him yeah the letter is completely mundane it's like it was so wonderful to see you at you know this gala event I hope this summer we can play some polo like it jumps around from topic to topic a lot and you're like oh this is definitely a code of some kind yeah yeah swans on the roof are exquisite yes what the yeah lots of and like repetitions of words like the swans on the roof are exquisite the koi in the pond were exquisite like this kind of yeah weird writing so you're like they're hiding something in these letters so it would require some kind of role perhaps to discern realities to reveal any information okay I'll try to discern realities on my aunt's letter okay come on oh I got six I'll aid how is billy aiding with the reading of a letter um well ving is reading out loud what he sees and then we're kind of playing a game like well what could it mean like uh yeah that makes sense 11 wonderful so that's a seven which means you get one question from the letter what here's now what appears to be um it's a very disturbing letter to for ving to have it is and I think the disturbing thing that you are seeing as you're like playing this game and discovering the information that is hidden within it is that when you left the great forest after burning down and then replanting the heart tree at the center of the forest you thought surely this solved the problem time for us to go we don't need to worry about this oh fuck but what you are learning is that solara after that used that chaos to gain the upper hand and has turned much of the great forest to her cause there is sort of a growing sentiment amongst the isolationist elves who have for centuries millennia after since the since the golden age of wizardry despised much of mankind much of the mortal world have seemed to decide that maybe it's time they do something about it and there is um there is an army being put together an army against who mankind they're joining the side of the gibbous have they been um persuaded by the gibbous man uh that is not clear in the letter but you would guess especially considering what you just heard from the gibbous man that there is a lot of similarities in what solara is suggesting through this code and what the gibbous man says his plans are do they know about like the like the spider story and the many eyes and stuff like that so lara would because they are members of the eye these are stories that they have been told this is part of the tradition that she's been brought into and being close to adernac she would be familiar in some of the druidic lore as well yeah exactly yeah she she is a warlock of some kind at least as you were told by the assassin um that you fought beneath the tree but yeah what you come away from with this is that the elves are going to be marching on the mortal world are the dark elves aligned with them that I I am not sure would be the case because the dark elves as far as we know are in the wind like no one really sees them anymore because they're kind of aliens right they're very aliens alien beings okay um you would have to go to the dark forest the the gloomwood or whatever we called it but what we do know is that yeah a large portion you would assume not all of the great forest yeah but many of the kingdoms the elven kingdoms are going to be marching the armies of the court many of the courts of the of the great forest yeah are uniting against some cause and that cause seems to be that the mortal world has done its damage and no more shall be done to feel so strongly to leave the woods yes they're leaving the great forest to fight this war um because the thing is is that the high spear stuff that you guys know not everybody knows that that's more like it's a thing that people take for granted in that it is behind the scenes but you have to assume that solara knows right to see to most people it's just a city with a huge mall yeah yeah people come here for the mall brother not to pay homage to the radio tower people don't know that edmonton's actually the epicenter of communication of all of canada yeah but that does make sense that the promise of isolation where it's like would be appealing to the elves it's like not all the elves are like we're gonna march in an army of an ancient elder god but they're like the high spear is the reason why people can understand our language and why we have to listen to theirs totally totally we are gonna cut ourselves off oh yeah finally yeah they really feel like it's it's happening yeah this is an opportunity to shut the doors for good yeah I love that uh the thing that I was thinking is that the last time that elves left the great forest in lore is the dark elves yes they're the ones who left the forest in the dark elves and they're the ones who left the forest in the dark elves and they're the they're scattered and alien to the elf no but that it because that is that is true I wrote a thing a long time ago you did a piece is that the dark elves yeah yeah so they were basically pushed out of the great forest and forced to live in this place like in the dense canopy and then they found a fungi that they call the mother's gift whoa that changes them whoa into beings that can like live in the dark whoa so they basically kind of become bats almost like they're eyes get huge and dark right and they echolocate and yeah whoa their skin becomes so pale that they can like be warmed and receive nutrients like even in total darkness wow cool exchange with the plants around them they become like swamp people almost totally yeah yeah they're very like symbiotic um that was the first singer song oh yeah there's something about becoming part of the song yeah like the mycelium network basically yeah interchange yeah but that is why I love that song because it's so powerful and it's so powerful and it's so powerful and it's so powerful and it's so powerful and it's so powerful and it's so powerful and it's so powerful what you learned from this letter so lara is taking control of a vast swath of the great forest and is turning its soldiers against the mortal world it bursts into flames in my hand oh that's cool wait did you did you set that on fire on purpose kind of not I'm just mad I must made you really mad I'm going to lie down okay I'll come with you we'll all go just laying on the bed what's up baby that letter seemed to really upset you don't let go I'm glad to be alone right now I'm so glad we're alone right now I think we're alone now okay great yeah we can leave the rest of the letter still later too oh I thought we were all gonna look at what okay yeah do you guys want to do that yeah sure I thought so so do you take a letter when you and ving go lay down no no I don't go lay down with it I've been I've also been examining a letter oh okay examining you can't read brother why'd you say examining because I'm trying to find the code in this letter from so who is what do I find letters from so there's another letter from lee masterly senior which we do know and then I guess there's a I think if we're doing this we're doing this the way we're doing it there's a third letter and that letter is from what no the shah of mccall whoa yeah fuck this is what I'm saying I recognize this word is that too much no that's great that's perfect because we had set this up yes we did set this up yes because we said that the torch was fucking with the structure because he like declared somebody the next prophet of fire yes who was not from the place that they normally are from yeah was getting involved in the shah and the vizier the vizier yeah like two families that raise like this is the leader this is the advisor right getting involved in that and the leader and the advisor at the time that we were there were little kids right children so they had like basically adults yeah assisting them yes they are the two kids because they uh they grow up together so that you don't have like the evil vizier right yes yes yes the shah of mccall and the vizier yes is there there must be a room caretaker or somebody like their nurse there must be a steward oh it's a regent the regent yeah the regent of the shah of mccall it's writing on quote unquote on behalf of the shah of mccall they're like eight or whatever yeah totally yeah okay great that's sick so yes we did set this up yes so cool and the prophet is a false prophet because yeah like farhan set it up when he was the torch yes and this so the current prophet is a puppet of the gibbous man is sort of the idea and the true prophet is out there in the wind great so the regent of the shah of mccall name we need a name if we're gonna have this person be in the the thing let's call him mustafa mustafa isn't that your uncle's name yeah my uncle's name is mustafa mustafa does he have a last name uh shahada not your uncle uh the regent oh what about shahada yeah that's the first name yeah it could be like mustafa hamada that's great yeah yeah a letter from the regent of the shah of mccall mustafa hamada and it is the same sort of like bland plain confusing writing that is about nothing um at all uh it references parts of the city that I know don't exist exactly yeah but you could roll it to certain realities okay get ready to see a failure um do you remember what my wisdom is because my paper ran out of batteries are you kidding me I think it's one is it one his no it's it's if it's not zero it's minus one no I think I thought I min maxed on wisdom plug it in I think your paper wisdom is like one or something because then intelligence is minus I will go get my my chart that's so funny where's your charger my charger for my paper is over there it's in my knapsack I'm gonna plug my notebook in no this is the first time we've actually ever been mean to abdul it's also really hard to believe you because I see myself as way higher status this is the thing this is why this has never happened every time I bully abdul he throws a handful of money in my face yeah my paper's charged up right you were gonna roll it to certain realities yes your wisdom is is what you tell us it's one you are examining the coded letter from the regent uh so that's ted okay three questions what is what here is now what it appears to be all right so we know like I did with van kieran's letter something about the state of mccall when you left is different than it is now it should be said this process if you really especially three questions getting answered takes a long time to do twice uh victoria has woken up and we just like bam we're sitting next to her at the same table because it's the nicest booth yeah every time she wakes up you just slam her head okay so what here is not what it appears to be when you left mccall there was a gang war going on as shia attempted to unite the disparate gangs my best friend's hot sister forbidden fruit no this is just me talking about what the status quo was when you left yeah look what you did to him this is why it takes a long time I keep saying forbidden fruit and then licking his lips I slap his tongue what's he talking about you slapped me right on my tongue what I am what is coming to mind and what is coming to mind is that you're not going to be initially and might not make sense so I'm happy to be overruled on this is I think that it is the regent mentioning that whatever his goal has been in mccall is being slowed down by the fact that the gangs of mccall have united under a singular leader and also that third the jinn the sword of the god of the flame has joined them whoa cool okay cool you guys think that's cool that makes sense yeah so shia and third are the same thing yeah so shia and third are the same thing are working together third or at the very least they have the same goal which is uh releasing the grip of the overly militant light guard and then tech goes fuck nice your new boyfriend's way cooler than me he does not have a dick at all how do I compete with a guy that's so cool and he doesn't even have a dick uh third is the jinn of the people right no third is the sword of god sort of god the guy with the smashed face who killed 11 yes so that is what is not what it appears to be is that when you left mccall third was a vigilante and was fighting against the gangs and now he has seemingly joined them oh cool good job shia that's rad yeah pretty cool uh what's your next question uh what is useful or valuable to me what is useful or valuable oh maybe it's just because the library at least that we know because we spent a lot of time with the library and the librarians but they are hidden they are isolationists but they did like go out into the city and they would like teach here and there I think what is useful or valuable is that um no one has heard or seen heard from or seen the librarians at all for months they have completely disappeared it's echoing that what's happening in the deep forest uh-huh yes totally yeah to that bookend yeah some and maybe if we want to go even further with it because it has happened a few times in the library's history maybe the library has seemingly moved oh packed up and they went somewhere else I had that thought as well that yeah it's gone I like that because there was the battle of a land spring so they knew where it was they had to leave yeah because the library was breached it's like shuttered on uh impenetrable yeah it's not it's full like they filled the caverns oh cool like with the sand yeah they flooded them yeah yeah that's cool so that is what you've learned is the library has seemingly moved okay because that was probably his goal after the battle after the battle after the battle after the battle after you left as part of the eye was to wipe the library out yeah and then he went and found it like there was nobody there yeah like he's like what do I do now yeah shia basically founded jinn having an existential crisis because he had no purpose and his church collapsed kind of kind of or at least he was also uh it was also revealed to him that he was being manipulated yeah and there's a bunch of history with the jinn feeling like they have that they are tools rather than individuals that they've struggled with a lot in their past and finding out that he was being more manipulated than he thought he was would have been pretty upsetting every time they think they break free yeah they just it's they're just a pawn in a different game and then also if for for third specifically if no one's holding his leash he doesn't know what to do yeah they're into leash stuff fuck damn it uh third question what is about to happen in mccall very good question so this takes a while for you to decode and you're kind of you're kind of you're kind of you read over it a bunch of times because you're like this doesn't make sense this can't be it kind of feels like the region is losing control of what like the gangs are fighting together third has joined the gangs that's a huge loss uh the library is seemingly gone so he's got one last hail mary he is saying that he is putting together an expedition to go out into the salt flats and make contact with the god of the flame whoa holy shit what yeah and there's a lot of like he's a heretic though well he's not necessarily a heretic well I guess he's a member of the eye and he would have been involved in the manipulation of the choosing of the prophet yeah but he also knows especially if he is this deep in yeah he knows the history of the god of the flame he knows that there's a familial tie between the gibbous man and the god of the flame and between the god of the flame and lillian it's not just that they are going to make contact with the god of the flame they're going to try and kill him oh to bind him to the like they were trying to bind the gibbous man good luck yeah and then honestly the letter ends with a bunch of prayers like uh just like at like you know prayers for like uh you know may the eyes watch us like we we go now into the dark and blah blah blah like a lot of things like I don't know if we're gonna be able to do this but it's our only chance so it's not a holy expedition it's like kind of hostile and it's it's a hunt yeah yeah yeah they want to go to the like what I had a bunch of I wrote a bunch of shit about it but it's not a holy expedition it's like kind of the god of the flame say it say it they're going like they're they're going to it's called the palace of cinders one of the jinn is the architect who builds and rebuilds the palace of cinders over and over again oh cool which like the god of the flame is said to dwell but it's never right so he like tears it down and he builds it again cool um and that's where they're they're following they're reading text and trying to uncover information that's probably why they wanted the library that's why they wanted the library it's why they're so pissed that third turned on them because third would know where it is um but yeah so now this is a last ditch effort they have to go out and they have to find them find the god of the flame themselves have does that mean all the other jinn have gone to ground the jinn are yes absolutely um because they otherwise he would have tried to find them to rally yeah to find the palace of cinders yeah most of them at least for the for the more recent periods of human history are so spread out first no one's seen in forever second time uh third was very present I think ninth was the one that you guys met or eighth yeah was the historian like the traveler yeah there was one that lived in mccall I think it was sixth or seventh so yeah I think that's referenced too is that he can't find any of the other jinn they're too hard to track down um so they're they're heading out into the salt flats to the broken shores and that's that's what you learn okay cool billy I believe you wanted to look at a letter as well uh well I brought it to mirrors okay great yeah so you're in the kitchen with me I'm going to go to mirrors and mirrors is like chopping mushrooms and and I'm I'm sitting on mirrors's shoulder with like the paper in front of him billy I can't he's trying to hold on I just need to flip these he keeps almost cutting himself but it's the metal hand I can't read okay all right okay all right hold on and he kind of walks over with you on his shoulders and puts a knife down on a cutting board okay this is safer this is safer so now you can read for me okay all right mirrors so from what language there's a lot of weird stuff hiding uh-huh but I gotta know and he's kind of rubbing his chin walking around with you holding it in front of his face yeah and uh so this one is from lee masterly senior the little guy the little guy's dad the little guy's dad the rich guy yes the rich guy so the wind river the hippie that you meant yeah met and the foreman of the coal refinery that you blew up right uh are both masterlies and so the masterly family is a couple of them and they're both masterlies and they're both masterlies and they're both extremely wealthy yep and this is mirrors is going this has rich guy written all over it how can you tell because it's written by the hand of a poor man yeah right at the top it says dictated but not read and then next to his name there's a bunch of letters that mean nothing to anyone they do the gold dust when they put on the wet ink oh off the excess it's very shiny so that's actually how he discovers what is written is uh in the light you're like move it you're holding it in front of his face and he's moving around and you pass by like the light from the stove crackling underneath uh glints off the paper and he goes whoa hold on and he turns back and you can see that there are letters that are illuminated by the gold dust and letters that are not all right I'd like to roll discern realities roll it to certain realities 2d6 plus whiz 11 so many questions okay what here is useful or valuable to me what here is useful or valuable to you get with the answers and what here is not what it appears to be and ask him all at once I'm gonna ask him all at once what what who what should I be on the lookout wait what wait what happened here wait that's how billy's trying to yeah yeah billy's trying to read he's reading in the hoity-toity accent billy this is where I was gonna I was gonna get to that one okay so what here is useful or valuable to me was your first question the answer there okay so masterly has significant holdings in the principalities primarily in the firefields he lives in black glass but he is deeply involved in the war effort and he was deeply involved in the construction of a4 yeah but he's not an eye yes oh he's not oh I don't know I was putting that out there actually I do like that you can see because this one was just written kind of a shitty dude yeah he's just shitty he didn't even have to bring him into the fold he just had to give him money and masterly totally flipped I actually really like that that he's not a part of the eye he just got paid oh yeah and was like whatever you need yeah yeah so he's being a little less subtle about the secret nature of this letter we're going to get to that in a minute but first let's get to the question of the book and we're going to get to the which is why he's gold dust transactional maybe it's like more of a list yeah yeah oh yeah maybe it is a list yeah it's a lot of invoices a lot of outstanding uh fees that he's looking to get settled which you know are never going to get settled but what he what here is useful or valuable to you is maybe he's moving a bomb like maybe he's like the he's trying to be uh very subtle about it but he's like thank you for paying me for this load of coal but it's like payload is highlighted okay um so yeah he is saying that there is in transit somewhere like somewhere in the principalities somewhere in the principalities moving from black glass to high spear is a bomb holy shit how big probably pretty big and it would seem suggested in this letter that it uses similar properties that were being utilized in the construction of a4 okay so there is like a coal dust iconic you would assume billy reading this you're like oh but the smoke like possessed all these people yeah so this has to be something like that it's not necessarily that it's an explosive but it is like a it's like a bioweapon almost okay and then the next question was what here is not what it appears to be yes he has and he's not even subtle about this he's straight up proud he has people placed in the mayor's office that are agents of his the mayor of high spear of high spirit oh my god the mayor's office has people that have been paid by masterly to as spies I swear to god if it's dan I'm gonna kill him for real not before I delete the podcast if it's dan I'm gonna fucking kill him oh I had a cool idea for the what maybe for the bomb yeah which is like a fun conspiracy that it's a weather bomb oh and it brings black rain it triggers the storm like it calls this to because the storm is sort of like free now oh it brings it in it brings in the right and causes this black black storm black rain which would just possess the whole city yeah and maybe it could interfere with like the high spirit tower yeah to make it easier to destroy it yeah yeah to cut to cut the connection yeah interfere with the communication yes yeah great okay and oh and I think this is a thing that's going to be a thing that you can see you're like this fucking poor idiot is he is also talking about how to oversee this project he is relocating to high spear city masterly agrees to yeah relocate he agrees to relocate to deliver this weapon and to oversee this sort of like spy thing happening in the mayor's office not realizing that if this does happen he will also be right part of this he's a he's a total like pawn they're gonna burn hard so I think that maybe answers the last question he actually gives a lot of information about how he's going to do this he's going to do this he gives the name and location like he gives the estate that he is renting so he's like thank you so much for setting me up at like rosewood estate which is information that billy being a thief and experienced adventure files away and mirrors is like wow this guy is dumb I've met a lot of dumb people in my life this guy is just wow he's just giving it away he's giving it away I barely had to decode this it's shiny he made everything shiny that I had to learn highlighted the code okay and yeah so mirrors kind of uh takes the letter from your hands the little clipboard hands that you've been using and pops it out he goes all right well this all feels like stuff that we can address at a later date do you want to help me finish these omelets yeah I take out from my pocket fistfuls of chives whoa how long have those been in there I don't want to know yeah we haven't been anywhere where there have been wild chives in a while not that you guys know about vintage and vintage shots I got them at the thrift store and you know yeah about 30 minutes later mirrors comes out with armfuls of uh plates of omelets hands them out in the bar you hear uh rattling at the table as victoria leblanche has woken up and is kind of like straining against her chains trying to get this omelet that's in front of her here I'll help you with that here get away from me are you hungry or you're not her eyes are like you know that super wide but her pupils are like little pinpricks it's got brie in it brie sorry it has brie in it I will take one bat but if you get your finger too close I will bat it because I am a crazy and she takes a bite she chews it slowly he's got him dead no you didn't kill him you should have maybe what should we do with you you're worth a lot of money to us oh emma I am a girl of expensive taste I am glad to hear maybe we share the reward what is it who gives it up come on you can tell me and then tuck uh don't do it tuck don't kill her man don't do it you guys are telling me to completely literally angel and devil on the shoulder don't do it do a stuck don't do it do it whatever you're thinking do it now Yeah, Tuck leans in and he's like, someone's put a pretty hefty bounty on your head and we intend to collect it.

May I ask who? You can ask all you want. We're not telling you anything. Yeah. Okay. Who is it? Who is it? Ving's just eating his omelet. Who made the bounty? Who set the bounty? Who is it? It's actually pretty annoying. Who is it? Who did it? Who set the bounty? We cut forward an hour and we're about to kill her. Who is it? Who did it? Who did it? Who did it? Just shut up! This can stop any time. Just tell me who it was. Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Oh my God.

Billy keeps looking out the window like, are we there yet? You guys are going to them. Yeah. So all you got to do is open the door. I feel like there is something we can get out of her though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's got information. We get you. Okay. How? Like we threaten her? No, she's too crazy to be threatened. Right. I think I need to seduce her. No, she's too beautiful for you to seduce. What? Wait. So then you have to do it. Wait. This is my nightmare.

He's like, it's happening. Send this one out, Tuck. This is what I knew was going to happen. I got to cuck you. Tuck is like, I fucking knew it. This is going to happen. No, no, no, no. Honestly, though. That's not a bad. She's too. She's too. Rye. That's a fair read. I think that the idea of trying to seduce a lunatic who uses seduction as her primary method of manipulating people would probably be really fucking hard. Yeah. Okay.

Because she just thinks that she's that is just a way for her to get what she wants. Yeah. I hold up his ring. I hold up his ring. I hold up his ring. She locks. She locks eyes on it. Oh, you've seen this before. You know, I have. I put it on my finger. Okay. So you put it on your finger. Oh, no. God damn it. Oh, no. Oh, God. What did we do? The game is going to come inside. He's going to come inside the pub. He's going to come inside the pub and he's going to fuck Victoria right in front of me.

Just like I knew he was going to do. So you you put it on your finger. Half a second later, a knock at the front door. The shutters, it should be said, are closed. Oh, what the fuck? I open the door. Who do you think is standing there? The gibbous man. It is the gibbous man. You see the kind old man in front of you and behind him, the void black immensity of the spider. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And that's where we're going to end the episode for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long. Ving, the half elf druid, Paul Oppers. Bye-bye. And Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Goodbye. Did you guys look into the cameras when you said bye? Of course we did. Fuck. I kind of did. I didn't look into mine. Oh, we'll do it again.

We'll do it again. Bye, everybody. Okay, Paul. Ooh, no. I'm editing this, so the camera's going to stay on me for a bit. Oh, God. No. Cut. We actually legally can't show that bottle. We have to blur that bottle out. We certainly can't show you tongue fucking it. Sponsored by Stuck. This is going to be so pixelated. Oh, the noise being cut off by the liquid was surprisingly horrible. We have to censor that. Join our Patreon to find out what I'm doing. I quit the Patreon. Can we go to Paul now?

I was going to be sexy. You sucked all the sexy out of the room. Give it a go. Take care. No, you got so many bottles. Do it, Paul. Paul, hit the camera with a hard stare. Hit the camera with a hard stare. I can't. Take care. Don't put your glasses back on all sexily. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And every now and then I fall apart. And I need you now tonight. And I need you more than ever. Adversarial engineering. You can't catch us AI. And it's only holding me tight. You hold me in your arms.

Now Jessica's got to hit the camera with a goodbye. How about this? That was my room spray. Wait. Are you spraying room spray into your mouth? No, that's her throat spray. Okay. It's really powerful. Oh, it's too much. What are you doing? Thank you to all of our Patreons and supporters around the world. Without you, this kind of shit wouldn't be able to happen and you wouldn't be seeing it.

Because of our Patreons and supporters, we're able to release our video episodes each and every week that we release shows, which is not every week. It's every two weeks. But you know what I mean. If you would like to join our Patreon and support the show, you can join us at patreon.com. Don't kiss it down like that. That's horrible. Why do you have balls? I'm so upset. Pressing it against your face like that. That any of us did this. Can you start again in the beginning? Patreon.com.

Of the episode? Of the series? Of the podcast? Patreon.com. Or spellore.com. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. Aaron's an incredible musician and you can find all of his original music at aaronreed.bandcamp.com. And all of the music produced for the show on Bandcamp. No, SoundCloud. Everywhere. Everywhere. Look up Spellore Soundtrack. You'll find it. Yes. And at this point, you will have heard the absolutely fucking stunning season 13 finale song.

The night is closing in, my friends. Written by Paul Uppers. I did it. You did it. It was so good. So now everyone on the show has written songs for the show. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, guys. Performed by Taylor Swindles. And. And. Paul. Oh, and Paul. Oh, and with a reading by Paul Uppers. Sick. Sick. Thank you. And finally, most of all, to all of you for listening. Yeah. And Jess had a good idea last time we recorded to like thank our long lasting patrons. Yeah. Right.

So that might be a thing we want to start right now. Just off the top of my head. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Yaki Soba. Yes. To Mads. To. To. Karen. Allison. Kai. Kai. Oh, yeah. Kai's been around for a long time. Jim. Quinn. Quinn. Quinn. Quinn and Kai. When we set up the discord and then accidentally force added everyone who was in the Patreon to a discord call that we were in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then Quinn and Kai joined and they were both pretty fun and cool. Yeah. Yeah.

I just remember I was sitting on it on the bed and I just heard like da ding, da ding, da ding. And Paul and Quinn was like, hello. That was so funny. That was great. Thank you to Tara. Yeah. Sean, I went to the hill of Tara and I remembered, oh, someone else's name Tara. Yeah. Like Tara. Yeah. Polar, of course. Polar. Polar. So many. And it's probably so. I know I'm missing a lot of people. Thank you to Aaron. Yeah. Thank you to Pat and Pat. Two Pats. Two Pats. No thank you to Dave.

Except for me. Yeah. And me. And thank you to Lauren. Yeah. Uh, and you know what? We're going to be thanking a lot of people. We're going to do our best, our absolute best to thank all of you by the time the show is done. You know why? Because this is probably almost certainly definitely the last season of the show. We have reached the last season of Spout Lore and that is a pretty huge thing. So, I mean, there's still a while. The season's going to have to wrap a lot up. Yeah.

It's going to be a few months. It's going to be a few months. But tell your friends, tell your friends to listen to Spout Lore. Before it's all gone. Yes. Because I am going to delete it after the last episode. We'll be deleting the podcast. Can we have a plan? To put it in the vault like a puffy case. To make it worth more later on. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Uh, yeah, man. Oh, man, we should make Spout Lore the puffy case. What is a puffy case? Oh, a VHS. Yeah. A VHS puffy case. Oh, yeah.

The puffy case VHS is that we're worth more money. That company put in the vault for a while. Um, it feels weird saying it on mic like this. Yeah. Now that we're here. It makes me kind of sad. It makes me very sad. It's going to be sad. A little sad. It's going to be hard to leave these characters in this story behind. Jessica, I've told you a lot of times. Just never be sad around me. Sorry. You're right. It's triggering. That's a boundary.

That's a boundary that I have set about your emotions and what you're allowed to feel. I'm glad you're able to laugh about it right now. Oh, cut this in here. Thank you to Beanie. Oh, my gosh, yes. Beanie's there the whole time. There's just a big convo happening that I'm looking at and Beanie's like been there since day one. If we could travel back in time, Beanie and us would have been neighbors. Absolutely. Absolutely. Oh, really? Local. Local Beanie. Oh, man. So many.

Thanks to our first ever patron, Sean Hodgins. Yeah. My friend from high school. Yeah. Yeah, Sean. He's still our patron. What? Yeah, dude. Oh, God. Sean, remember when we used to live in the same building? Sean Hodgins? Yeah. Wasn't. That's Patrick. Patrick. Patrick. Thank you, Patrick. Thank you, Patrick. Thanks, Patrick. Yeah. Which Patrick? Patrick R. I'm not going to say his last name. Yeah. From my PhD. He's the only reason why I came out of that thing in one piece. So thank you, Patrick.

Yes. Thank you, Patrick. You would have been a broken doctor. No, I would have just been broken. I would have been fucked. But Pat, you're the best. I hope Paris is great. Oh, yeah. That's so nice. Oh, how can I forget Claire and Jansen? Claire and Jansen. Claire and Jansen forever. Oh, gee, good ones. Claire and Jansen. Yeah. Higher old pals. Yeah. Oh, CJ. Are you kidding me? Oh, yes. Yeah. Yeah. We'll see you next time. Yeah. Thanks for hanging out, guys. Thanks for everything.

Thanks for everything. Goodbye. We're waving. Goodbye now. Bye-bye. Bye. Goodbye now. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Like from Aladdin, remember? Goodbye now. Oh, yeah. At the end of the credits. Oh, yeah. Bye-bye now. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3, who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution.

Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you. To ungladly spell dawn. Oh. Oh.