Patreon Bonus: Mall Brats Season 2, Episode 15

Hi, Smellorians, Abdullah here, just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Spelt More Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. In terms of the faction game side of things, this would reduce your reputation with the Babysitter's Club to the point where you would be at war.

That's fine. Okay. I'm fine being at war with the Babysitter's Club. Then in a bit, we'll talk about mechanically what happens when you're at war, because there are mechanics that are involved. Great. We, in our hearts, have been at war with Kesterin for a long time. Yeah, totally. Okay, great. Clover's been at war with her seemingly since the third episode of the podcast. That is true. That is very true. If she ain't come in so hot and rude, she could have avoided all of this.

This current war is because she was rude to you when you were pretending to be someone else when Tana introduced you to her? You know what? That's probably, yeah. Probably. I don't remember anymore. That interaction brought us here. This is a classic blood feud situation. She's like, I think that's what it was. Yeah. That's so funny. All I know is I don't like her. This overreaction.

It's going to, like, I've had to do this thing, this to you as we're walking through the mall and realizing this, really. He's like, Clover, your spite is going to be our undoing one day. She's going to lose this heart. We're all going to lose. No. She's going to be kicked out of this mall before you know it. Okay. Yeah. She'll never survive. I turned to Franklin and I was like, she's going to kill both of us. She's going to bring this mall down on our heads. I know. We're going to die.

She's burning this whole place down to get back at Kessler in four question mark. The mall is not going to survive this. Right here. 15-year-old Franklin. Great. Okay. So the first downtime activity we're going to do is Fenton's long-term project clock into looking into the babysitter's club. I want that info. Okay. Great. Yes. All right. So when you work on a long-term project, describe what your character does to advance the project clock and roll one of your actions. Yeah.

I go and I talk to the Hubberstone twins and I guess my action would be consort. Yeah. Great. So you would roll your consort and it will fill a number of ticks depending on your role. Yeah. So I go to the Starlight Arcade. Yeah. And I go to the bar that they're working at, which is the prize booth. Yes. And there is an array of elastic sticks. Sticky hands, finger traps, koosh balls, and other things. I get up onto a stool and I go pretty wild party last night.

It was perhaps one of the wildest that we've observed. Not quite the sort of classy affair that we generally like to attend, but you know, well done. Thank you. It was nice to see a couple of friends there. Don't publicly acknowledge our working relationship. Okay. Yeah. Fair. We actually can't afford to be associated with you. No, no. Fair. Fair. Fair. That's very fair.

Actually, if you, and you look at the door and you see people are leaving the arcade for the second Fenton walked in, you have a sort of Paul about you. You smell like old chocolate. We haven't found a foam fountain in a while. What can we do for you? Were you around when like the cops kind of like sorted all the Kessarin stuff out? We made our exit before the security arrived, but we were able to collect a few choice pieces of information. Oh yeah.

Do you know what happened to the babysitter's club? Did Kessarin end up getting blamed for the whole thing? Roll your thing. Whoa. One and a three. One segment. Okay. I'll pay money for more. Okay. You fill two segments for the cost of one coin. Yes. And they both clasp their hands together and place them on the, they clasp one hand each together, forming one front, which they place on the glass of the prize bar counter.

You must understand Fenton that though we have worked together in the past, we are still not in the business of giving information away. Freely. I flicked them a coin. They catch it. Both hands. Both one hand. They go. Whoa. Catch it together. Holy shit. And then gently move it to the pocket. One of their jackets. Each of them using one hand. One finger. Yeah. Kessarin got the whole thing pinned on her. Says Jason. Fuck yes. Yeah. Sweet. She was livid.

She attempted to explain to both the Coblington's and security that it was not she who was to blame, but there was too much evidence. To the contrary. Yeah. Tell us more. Tell me more. Or we can all be there too. Yeah. We're. Oh yeah. I'm playing with the finger trap and I'm stuck. I'm like, fuck. Try not to make it a big deal. You hear like a diggly in the background and Frank walks up with like a stack of tickets. Your skeeball machine's broken. I clogged the 500 hole. That's so funny.

And they say, er, Tana says, yes, in fact, Kessarin swore vengeance publicly loudly and has declared war on the cool treat kids. War you say? War. So you should be expecting her to come at you hard with the full force of her connections. Now you brought to us in the past a journal, I believe. Oh yeah. And they pull the journal. Jason pulls the journal out of his coat. I believe that we have cracked the code on what the Babysitter's Club's ultimate goals are. It is quite simple.

We believe in the unwashed horde of orphans that exists within this mall. Kesserun Ropes, ever the business-minded psychopath, has seen rank upon rank of un-babysat children. And working through some sort of connections, we believe, through her mother exclusively, under the guise of the quote-unquote agency, she has been orchestrating these adoptions merely in order to forge babysitting contracts. Wait, what? She is creating babysat kids. She's… Holy shit, that's fucking crazy.

And she is making good money doing so. She's increasing her own demand by facilitating the adoption of orphans into rich families? Frankly, it's genius. It's… Yeah, I guess. It's evil. It seems so evil. It's business. I don't care much for business, I guess, in that case. Wait, have they taken anyone that we know? Any of the children that you know? Yeah. Anyone within… And then Fenton, he's holding a candy cane, and he snaps it in half. Whoa.

Grips it so hard, he goes, Have they taken any of our orphans? Any of the Candyland kids? I mean, I feel like they must have. Oh, no. Who do we think it is? It was the B-Girl. What was her name? B-Girl. Oh, yeah. What was the B-Girl? Kaden. Kaden. Kaden. Because she was so cute. She was so cute. She loved bees. She would have been a prime candidate. She was so trusting. Yeah. Oh, fuck. She was so trusting. I feel like she would want to get her hands on the O-Book, too. Wait. Oh, shit.

The Book of Ages. The Book of Ages. Oh, coming for the Book of Ages. Yeah. So they can find out which kids are of prime adoption age. The Book of Ages is basically a catalog of all of the kids in the mall. It's like a Sears and Roebuck. How could they have stolen none of the kids? They're all kids, though. There's so many of them. And we've been distracted. We've been focused on revenge, Clover. This is what happens. Don't blame Kestrin's evil on me. Well, I'm… Fuck. What the fuck? What?

You're saying… Oh, because I am paying too much attention to revenge. Did you hear I when he said we? Jesus fucking Christ. Clover's going through it. Her real boyfriend is gone. No, she's gone. She's got this fake boyfriend. Fenton's so angry every time you bring up Seamus. This fake bullshit boyfriend. He like, he's… Fenton's so angry about the Seamus thing. We had to do a whole fucking thing, Clover. We had to do a whole fucking thing.

We had to go to a fucking train, get him on the train. He went north. He was spying on us in the sugar shack. He was reading your diary, which is so bad. Buddy. The heart wants what the heart wants. Shut the fuck up, Franklin. I fucking swear to God, do not enable this behavior. I'm not enabling it. It just, it's happening. No. What the fuck? Excuse me. What? They pointed a sign that says no cussing. What the? Okay. This is a classy establishment. Okay, fine. Shit. Fuck. Fine. More people leave.

They start pointing to the door. No, no, no. I'll stop. Stop. I'll stop. All right. Just don't let it happen again. Oh, that's going to be so hard. At least they're at you very hard. You're on thin ice. Be a good boy. Easily. Okay. Sorry. Sorry, guys. Sorry. I got worked up. So, Caden. Yeah, they're like, yes, they in fact did get one of your kids. I believe the name is Caden. She's a small girl, frequently dressed like a bee. Oh my God.

We have a flashback to her chasing a butterfly, and she also has butterfly wings. Her hands are covered in honey. She's got a bunch of dead butterflies stuck to her hands. She eats one of them. No, Caden. Dead butterflies around her mouth. So, Caden has been adopted by… To who? To Fenton. Fucking Fudgen smashes the camera. Fudgen. So, he's like, who took Caden? Who of these mother flipping adults took our Caden? Which family? His adopted Caden. So, they'd be rich. Yeah.

And they would be needing a child for a public perception of a family unit. Maybe the barbecue dads are opening a new restaurant. Maybe it's Mamma Mia. Oh, Mamma Mia. From the barbecue dads. Or the barbecue kings. Yeah, and her wife. Yes. Yeah. We understand that Mamma Mia of the barbecue kings has adopted young Caden. She is trying to make a plan. She's trying to play for leadership of the barbecue kings, from what I understand.

But being a pair of gangs that are exclusively based on being married, she wanted to present some sort of family unit. Fenton's so angry for so many reasons. So fucking pissed off. Fudgen pissed off. Fudge, sorry. Fudgen peed off. Oh, my God. I'm peed off so Fudgen hard. Man, Caden must be so scared right now. Oh, my God. I'd be scared being adopted by someone who's not a Fudgen fan. I'd be scared being adopted by Mamma Mia. Yeah. She's so mean. She is so mean.

Dare they take her from our hovel and try to give her a better life. Yeah, they probably took her straight out of that chicken coop that all the orphans sleep in. Now she's all alone in her own bedroom, in her own bed. She must be so scared. We're filling her belly with food and her head full of lies. Mamma Mia food, just spaghetti and not being able to eat any Cheerios off the ground. Man, what are we doing? I called this out. Don't worry.

I more than anyone think I might have made a huge mistake in trying to connect these dots this way. Real meatballs. She's having vegetables. Whole unjuiced vegetables. Unjuiced vegetables? Think of her teeth. They're shattered by now. Oh, my God. What if she gets diabetes for having three square meals a day? Oh, my gosh. It's too much for her. Yeah. The only okay way to get diabetes is by eating. Just straight icing sugar for a week and a half. Like that one time. Yeah. Yeah. Like that one time.

Remember that one time I slipped into a coma on the roller coaster? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Flashback. His head is too long. Slamming around on the roller coaster. You guys made me ride alone, so I'm just slamming back and forth. I have the photos flashed to the floor. Yeah, I took the photos that they were selling at the roller coaster. Here's the one where he, and here's the photo where he exited his glycemic coma. And it's just him screaming. I'm on a fucking roller coaster. It's diabolical.

It is diabolical. Yeah. You know what? Kestrin did get one thing right. It's mother shirt and war for, uh, for, it's, for, it's war. It's, it's flipping war for, for me. Mm-hmm. Clover, I don't know how you handle hanging out with this crass individual, says Jason. By the way, there was something I wanted to talk to you about. Mm-hmm. If you had a second. And Tana rolls her eyes. To me? To you. Clover says. Yeah, she's just, she's still like, what? She's still stuck. I mean, you can say it now.

I'm here. Her hands are stuck in the figure trap. Yep. Yep. I have, I have put on a few more. You have all five of them? I know how to get this off. And she puts on another one. There is one that accidentally got connected from her finger to like something on the, on the counter. So she's also stuck to the counter. You know what? I really would prefer to discuss this in private with you. Oh, we, okay. We can go. Don't worry. I'll tell you guys. Okay. Yeah. She'll tell us later.

Totally, totally, totally, totally. That's okay. We'll go. We'll go play skee-ball for a bit. Yeah. Do you want to, do you want anything from this wall? I can get you anything you want from this wall. Give me the vampire teeth. I ran out. I ran out. I kept swallowing them by accident. I'd fall asleep with them in my mouth. And they're delicious. I can swallow them. Uh, so they, they kind of move further down the prize bar and Jason moves over to your end of the prize bar.

So what do you have to tell me, Jason? So, uh, I don't know if you were at the party. Of course I wasn't. Well, I just think that you should know that your boyfriend, Brandon, Brandon's in. Yeah. Kiss another girl. Oh, that is news to me. I didn't even know he was there. He was. He was there and he was kissing another girl. He was straight up. I think, I think there was tongue. If I have to be honest. There was tongues. There were tongues. I saw a tongue. I think.

I can't believe he would do this to me. And he kind of reaches out and he puts a hand on your shoulder. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. You know who would never do this to me? Seamus, probably. Oh. Oh. Uh, you're still interested in Seamus. I'm just figuring things out, Jason. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I guess I'll have to have a talk with Brennan. Yeah, I know. And you know what?

If you ever need, like, if this, the things with Brennan don't go well and you just want to talk about it, like I'm here all the time. So. Nice try, Jason. I'm not letting you sell my info to anybody. That's not what I. Okay. All right. Fair enough. Okay. All right. Well, you know what? And he reaches forward and he, he frees you. You from the, the, the counter. Thanks. I could have done that. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Well. Hey, Jason. Yeah. I appreciate you telling me. He blushes so hard.

You're welcome. And he turns and he slams into a counter that was right behind him. The kind of thing where it's like at a hip level. Hits him in the hip bone. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, he starts going and he sees the no cussing sign and he goes, he grabs a giant, like stuff. Stuff. Yeah. Screams into a giant stuffed frog. Good day. This honestly, this is my opinion as a duo. This guy's your Mr. Darcy. She has a long time to figure this out. She's got years. 20, 30 years. Yeah. All right.

That is one downtime activity done. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.