Tag: Patreon Bonus

Hi Spellorians, Abdul here, just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Spellmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes.

So, they're getting outfitted, and they're piling up, and you see that it looks like they're trying to get a battering ram of people to push through your barricade. And just as they're talking to each other and making a plan, a bell goes off, and everybody stands up. You go, it's five o'clock, guys. We got to stop. We got to stop for the day. One balloon. We know. We're stopping. We're stopping. And it's a security guard who's coming. It's Millie. Millie.

Millie comes in and goes, All right, everybody. That's enough. That's enough war for today. The janitor who was always cleaning up our spit. We got to clean up. That's enough war. Okay. I said no more. That's fair again. Thanks. I cannot do the whistle. I wish I could. I wish I could. The shot changes to a wide, like when we were fighting the wild nogs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

He's been standing there the whole time. He's been waiting. Yeah. He's been looking at the big clock that hangs over this part of the mall. He's like, and from this adult person's perspective, you're just hearing like the rattle of the shopping. Oh, stop it. Oh, splat, splat. Not fair. Not fair. I had a shield. I had a shield up. You hit me first. You hit me first. I'm not talking. Stop it. Yourself. Stop it. Stop it. Yourself. And these are peeing yourself. Stop peeing yourself.

These are about two days ago into the war. Two days into the war. We're two days in. Oh my God. You all received, both sides received a communique from the food court laying out what the rules and regulations are for war for the kid gang. Whoa, that's, that's sick. No cursing is underlined. No cuss. No cussing. You're not allowed to cuss. That's flipping ridiculous.

No one can be done any lasting physical harm okay you can only use non-lethal it says on the thing non-lethal weapons only we had to consult a dictionary what that meant I know what lethal means what does none what is non-me it specifically underneath that says somebody make sure clover ivy fern is told non-lethal force check your candy specifically there's a there's recess as well like they've put in recess breaks because like there's a nap there's a 10 a.m you can't start fighting until 10 a.m there's lunch at one and then you have to be done by five and it gets all the the rich kids out of school too yeah yeah it's like they're at an away game yeah yeah yeah yeah millie has shown up to tell you that it's all done for the day everybody gets pushed away and you are given a reprieve so now the the candy land lines are given a temporary reprieve for the day as kids start packing up and cleaning up and zipping up their pants and stuff hard yeah ken burns's civil war yeah it's just like fading in and out franklin's writing in a diary with a tiny short pencil way under a red light oh writing a letter to uh to mindy oh yeah yeah my dearest mini the front lines were hot battled against the barricades were long the piss was dark today our line stands true unbroken as my love to you falls from afar peppering my days of war with light and love oh I hope you haven't found another man in these loads two days where I wish to see your face again I hope upon the morrow when this bloody war is over we can meet again on the broken shores of the queso rio do you need me to keep doing this yes I'm singing stanley's doing a great job today ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I think your scrunchie is so cool.

Yours eternally. Everlasting. From the front lines. Okay, come on, man. To wherever you are. Frank on style. DDR. All right, I'll see you tomorrow, Frank. LTD. MDBBR. SDBM. P-S-I-L-U. P-S-I-L-U. P-P-S-D-U-L-O-B-E. Check yes or no. Check Y or N. T-T-Y-L. And Millie goes, all right, letters, letters. He's got letters. That's great. Yeah. All right, kids. I'll see you tomorrow. Have fun. And you guys, we can. This was basically just an extended intro. No, I want it. So good. So good.

But yeah, so Candyland is now in like the rebuilding phase. So kids are trying to replenish the barricades and. © transcript Emily Beynon

Hi, Smellorians, Abdullah here, just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Spelt More Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. In terms of the faction game side of things, this would reduce your reputation with the Babysitter's Club to the point where you would be at war.

That's fine. Okay. I'm fine being at war with the Babysitter's Club. Then in a bit, we'll talk about mechanically what happens when you're at war, because there are mechanics that are involved. Great. We, in our hearts, have been at war with Kesterin for a long time. Yeah, totally. Okay, great. Clover's been at war with her seemingly since the third episode of the podcast. That is true. That is very true. If she ain't come in so hot and rude, she could have avoided all of this.

This current war is because she was rude to you when you were pretending to be someone else when Tana introduced you to her? You know what? That's probably, yeah. Probably. I don't remember anymore. That interaction brought us here. This is a classic blood feud situation. She's like, I think that's what it was. Yeah. That's so funny. All I know is I don't like her. This overreaction.

It's going to, like, I've had to do this thing, this to you as we're walking through the mall and realizing this, really. He's like, Clover, your spite is going to be our undoing one day. She's going to lose this heart. We're all going to lose. No. She's going to be kicked out of this mall before you know it. Okay. Yeah. She'll never survive. I turned to Franklin and I was like, she's going to kill both of us. She's going to bring this mall down on our heads. I know. We're going to die.

She's burning this whole place down to get back at Kessler in four question mark. The mall is not going to survive this. Right here. 15-year-old Franklin. Great. Okay. So the first downtime activity we're going to do is Fenton's long-term project clock into looking into the babysitter's club. I want that info. Okay. Great. Yes. All right. So when you work on a long-term project, describe what your character does to advance the project clock and roll one of your actions. Yeah.

I go and I talk to the Hubberstone twins and I guess my action would be consort. Yeah. Great. So you would roll your consort and it will fill a number of ticks depending on your role. Yeah. So I go to the Starlight Arcade. Yeah. And I go to the bar that they're working at, which is the prize booth. Yes. And there is an array of elastic sticks. Sticky hands, finger traps, koosh balls, and other things. I get up onto a stool and I go pretty wild party last night.

It was perhaps one of the wildest that we've observed. Not quite the sort of classy affair that we generally like to attend, but you know, well done. Thank you. It was nice to see a couple of friends there. Don't publicly acknowledge our working relationship. Okay. Yeah. Fair. We actually can't afford to be associated with you. No, no. Fair. Fair. Fair. That's very fair.

Actually, if you, and you look at the door and you see people are leaving the arcade for the second Fenton walked in, you have a sort of Paul about you. You smell like old chocolate. We haven't found a foam fountain in a while. What can we do for you? Were you around when like the cops kind of like sorted all the Kessarin stuff out? We made our exit before the security arrived, but we were able to collect a few choice pieces of information. Oh yeah.

Do you know what happened to the babysitter's club? Did Kessarin end up getting blamed for the whole thing? Roll your thing. Whoa. One and a three. One segment. Okay. I'll pay money for more. Okay. You fill two segments for the cost of one coin. Yes. And they both clasp their hands together and place them on the, they clasp one hand each together, forming one front, which they place on the glass of the prize bar counter.

You must understand Fenton that though we have worked together in the past, we are still not in the business of giving information away. Freely. I flicked them a coin. They catch it. Both hands. Both one hand. They go. Whoa. Catch it together. Holy shit. And then gently move it to the pocket. One of their jackets. Each of them using one hand. One finger. Yeah. Kessarin got the whole thing pinned on her. Says Jason. Fuck yes. Yeah. Sweet. She was livid.

She attempted to explain to both the Coblington's and security that it was not she who was to blame, but there was too much evidence. To the contrary. Yeah. Tell us more. Tell me more. Or we can all be there too. Yeah. We're. Oh yeah. I'm playing with the finger trap and I'm stuck. I'm like, fuck. Try not to make it a big deal. You hear like a diggly in the background and Frank walks up with like a stack of tickets. Your skeeball machine's broken. I clogged the 500 hole. That's so funny.

And they say, er, Tana says, yes, in fact, Kessarin swore vengeance publicly loudly and has declared war on the cool treat kids. War you say? War. So you should be expecting her to come at you hard with the full force of her connections. Now you brought to us in the past a journal, I believe. Oh yeah. And they pull the journal. Jason pulls the journal out of his coat. I believe that we have cracked the code on what the Babysitter's Club's ultimate goals are. It is quite simple.

We believe in the unwashed horde of orphans that exists within this mall. Kesserun Ropes, ever the business-minded psychopath, has seen rank upon rank of un-babysat children. And working through some sort of connections, we believe, through her mother exclusively, under the guise of the quote-unquote agency, she has been orchestrating these adoptions merely in order to forge babysitting contracts. Wait, what? She is creating babysat kids. She's… Holy shit, that's fucking crazy.

And she is making good money doing so. She's increasing her own demand by facilitating the adoption of orphans into rich families? Frankly, it's genius. It's… Yeah, I guess. It's evil. It seems so evil. It's business. I don't care much for business, I guess, in that case. Wait, have they taken anyone that we know? Any of the children that you know? Yeah. Anyone within… And then Fenton, he's holding a candy cane, and he snaps it in half. Whoa.

Grips it so hard, he goes, Have they taken any of our orphans? Any of the Candyland kids? I mean, I feel like they must have. Oh, no. Who do we think it is? It was the B-Girl. What was her name? B-Girl. Oh, yeah. What was the B-Girl? Kaden. Kaden. Kaden. Because she was so cute. She was so cute. She loved bees. She would have been a prime candidate. She was so trusting. Yeah. Oh, fuck. She was so trusting. I feel like she would want to get her hands on the O-Book, too. Wait. Oh, shit.

The Book of Ages. The Book of Ages. Oh, coming for the Book of Ages. Yeah. So they can find out which kids are of prime adoption age. The Book of Ages is basically a catalog of all of the kids in the mall. It's like a Sears and Roebuck. How could they have stolen none of the kids? They're all kids, though. There's so many of them. And we've been distracted. We've been focused on revenge, Clover. This is what happens. Don't blame Kestrin's evil on me. Well, I'm… Fuck. What the fuck? What?

You're saying… Oh, because I am paying too much attention to revenge. Did you hear I when he said we? Jesus fucking Christ. Clover's going through it. Her real boyfriend is gone. No, she's gone. She's got this fake boyfriend. Fenton's so angry every time you bring up Seamus. This fake bullshit boyfriend. He like, he's… Fenton's so angry about the Seamus thing. We had to do a whole fucking thing, Clover. We had to do a whole fucking thing.

We had to go to a fucking train, get him on the train. He went north. He was spying on us in the sugar shack. He was reading your diary, which is so bad. Buddy. The heart wants what the heart wants. Shut the fuck up, Franklin. I fucking swear to God, do not enable this behavior. I'm not enabling it. It just, it's happening. No. What the fuck? Excuse me. What? They pointed a sign that says no cussing. What the? Okay. This is a classy establishment. Okay, fine. Shit. Fuck. Fine. More people leave.

They start pointing to the door. No, no, no. I'll stop. Stop. I'll stop. All right. Just don't let it happen again. Oh, that's going to be so hard. At least they're at you very hard. You're on thin ice. Be a good boy. Easily. Okay. Sorry. Sorry, guys. Sorry. I got worked up. So, Caden. Yeah, they're like, yes, they in fact did get one of your kids. I believe the name is Caden. She's a small girl, frequently dressed like a bee. Oh my God.

We have a flashback to her chasing a butterfly, and she also has butterfly wings. Her hands are covered in honey. She's got a bunch of dead butterflies stuck to her hands. She eats one of them. No, Caden. Dead butterflies around her mouth. So, Caden has been adopted by… To who? To Fenton. Fucking Fudgen smashes the camera. Fudgen. So, he's like, who took Caden? Who of these mother flipping adults took our Caden? Which family? His adopted Caden. So, they'd be rich. Yeah.

And they would be needing a child for a public perception of a family unit. Maybe the barbecue dads are opening a new restaurant. Maybe it's Mamma Mia. Oh, Mamma Mia. From the barbecue dads. Or the barbecue kings. Yeah, and her wife. Yes. Yeah. We understand that Mamma Mia of the barbecue kings has adopted young Caden. She is trying to make a plan. She's trying to play for leadership of the barbecue kings, from what I understand.

But being a pair of gangs that are exclusively based on being married, she wanted to present some sort of family unit. Fenton's so angry for so many reasons. So fucking pissed off. Fudgen pissed off. Fudge, sorry. Fudgen peed off. Oh, my God. I'm peed off so Fudgen hard. Man, Caden must be so scared right now. Oh, my God. I'd be scared being adopted by someone who's not a Fudgen fan. I'd be scared being adopted by Mamma Mia. Yeah. She's so mean. She is so mean.

Dare they take her from our hovel and try to give her a better life. Yeah, they probably took her straight out of that chicken coop that all the orphans sleep in. Now she's all alone in her own bedroom, in her own bed. She must be so scared. We're filling her belly with food and her head full of lies. Mamma Mia food, just spaghetti and not being able to eat any Cheerios off the ground. Man, what are we doing? I called this out. Don't worry.

I more than anyone think I might have made a huge mistake in trying to connect these dots this way. Real meatballs. She's having vegetables. Whole unjuiced vegetables. Unjuiced vegetables? Think of her teeth. They're shattered by now. Oh, my God. What if she gets diabetes for having three square meals a day? Oh, my gosh. It's too much for her. Yeah. The only okay way to get diabetes is by eating. Just straight icing sugar for a week and a half. Like that one time. Yeah. Yeah. Like that one time.

Remember that one time I slipped into a coma on the roller coaster? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Flashback. His head is too long. Slamming around on the roller coaster. You guys made me ride alone, so I'm just slamming back and forth. I have the photos flashed to the floor. Yeah, I took the photos that they were selling at the roller coaster. Here's the one where he, and here's the photo where he exited his glycemic coma. And it's just him screaming. I'm on a fucking roller coaster. It's diabolical.

It is diabolical. Yeah. You know what? Kestrin did get one thing right. It's mother shirt and war for, uh, for, it's, for, it's war. It's, it's flipping war for, for me. Mm-hmm. Clover, I don't know how you handle hanging out with this crass individual, says Jason. By the way, there was something I wanted to talk to you about. Mm-hmm. If you had a second. And Tana rolls her eyes. To me? To you. Clover says. Yeah, she's just, she's still like, what? She's still stuck. I mean, you can say it now.

I'm here. Her hands are stuck in the figure trap. Yep. Yep. I have, I have put on a few more. You have all five of them? I know how to get this off. And she puts on another one. There is one that accidentally got connected from her finger to like something on the, on the counter. So she's also stuck to the counter. You know what? I really would prefer to discuss this in private with you. Oh, we, okay. We can go. Don't worry. I'll tell you guys. Okay. Yeah. She'll tell us later.

Totally, totally, totally, totally. That's okay. We'll go. We'll go play skee-ball for a bit. Yeah. Do you want to, do you want anything from this wall? I can get you anything you want from this wall. Give me the vampire teeth. I ran out. I ran out. I kept swallowing them by accident. I'd fall asleep with them in my mouth. And they're delicious. I can swallow them. Uh, so they, they kind of move further down the prize bar and Jason moves over to your end of the prize bar.

So what do you have to tell me, Jason? So, uh, I don't know if you were at the party. Of course I wasn't. Well, I just think that you should know that your boyfriend, Brandon, Brandon's in. Yeah. Kiss another girl. Oh, that is news to me. I didn't even know he was there. He was. He was there and he was kissing another girl. He was straight up. I think, I think there was tongue. If I have to be honest. There was tongues. There were tongues. I saw a tongue. I think.

I can't believe he would do this to me. And he kind of reaches out and he puts a hand on your shoulder. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. You know who would never do this to me? Seamus, probably. Oh. Oh. Uh, you're still interested in Seamus. I'm just figuring things out, Jason. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I guess I'll have to have a talk with Brennan. Yeah, I know. And you know what?

If you ever need, like, if this, the things with Brennan don't go well and you just want to talk about it, like I'm here all the time. So. Nice try, Jason. I'm not letting you sell my info to anybody. That's not what I. Okay. All right. Fair enough. Okay. All right. Well, you know what? And he reaches forward and he, he frees you. You from the, the, the counter. Thanks. I could have done that. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Well. Hey, Jason. Yeah. I appreciate you telling me. He blushes so hard.

You're welcome. And he turns and he slams into a counter that was right behind him. The kind of thing where it's like at a hip level. Hits him in the hip bone. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, he starts going and he sees the no cussing sign and he goes, he grabs a giant, like stuff. Stuff. Yeah. Screams into a giant stuffed frog. Good day. This honestly, this is my opinion as a duo. This guy's your Mr. Darcy. She has a long time to figure this out. She's got years. 20, 30 years. Yeah. All right.

That is one downtime activity done. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Hi, Spoutlorians. Abdullah here. Just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Speltmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. Speltmore Mall Brats Poorly kind of punched through the plaster is one of the communications tubes, as if it was recently haphazardly installed.

That's really funny. But it's got the little toggle with the flip cap on the end of it, but it's right there, ready to use. Pop. Okay, let's do it. So you're calling Borbo's dad. Borbo's dad, right. We're trying to get in touch with Borbo's dad. Yeah. So we can find Borbo. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Hey. Hey. Connect us with Borbo's dad, please. Mooshy mooshy. Yellow? Mr. Borbo's dad? Is that you? Is this the weird little kid that hangs out with my son? It's one of them. How'd you get this number?

How'd you get this tube? How'd you find my tube? I just asked for you. I said, give me Borbo's dad. All right. Well, where's Borbo? Oh, he's here. He's working. Oh. Is it all of you? Are you all screaming into this tube? Yeah, it's all of us. Oh, great. We really need to talk to him. Okay. We have a law emergency. Someone's breaking the law down here. We need a lawyer. Breaking the law. And we need somebody to defend them. Yeah. Actually, as a barrister, as a solicitor. Yeah.

Borbo's dad would never recommend you talk to the cops. Don't say a word, children. If security shows up, don't talk to him. Shut your mouths. We need him to come down fast, though, because what if security shows up? What are we going to say? Oh, my God. Oh, no. I can feel myself turning. I can feel myself turning state's witness. Son, don't do that. Son. Our lips are so loose, though. No. I'm going to say the things that I saw.

I feel like one security guard's going to be really nice, and the other one's going to be mean. Don't fall for that, kids. It's a classic trick. But I want to tell the nice one stuff. You know what? This sounds pretty serious. I'm coming down myself. I'll be right there. Yeah, you got to roll something if you want to convince him. Can I roll? Yeah. It's a- I think you sufficiently pitched this situation to be very serious. Sway. Sway. So this is risky standard. And I, yeah, just get two.

Here we go. Two. It's one and a two. Holy shit. Fuck. That's bad. That's really bad. Oh, my God. That's bad. Fucking God. Whoa. How do we aid? So the consequences, I mean, you can spend, it's all stress related. Yeah, I can't spend any more stress or I'll take drama. I'll be out of the job. I can. I can avoid some stress. Can I give him stress? Yeah. Can I get him to roll? Let me just remind myself. I got to look it up. Also, remember, we're using the new deep cut rules for trauma, drama.

So you're not taken out. Oh. It just affects you immediately. Yeah. And then it's still, you still have the negative consequence of your trauma is one higher. Because remember, if it gets to four. You're out. You retire. Yeah. You're gone. I don't know that I want to take drama yet. Yeah, that's fine. That makes sense. I feel like I'm not ready for it. Not in this situation. You still barely explored the Batman phase of your life. Yeah. It's mainly because people don't like it when I do.

I can hear that voice. So you can give, you can assist a teammate by taking one stress and giving them plus one die, which we've determined we can do all this stuff after the fact. We're not that hard-minded about it. Please, please help me. I'm taking the stress to give one die. Thank you. I'm so sorry I failed. How do you convince the dad? Yeah. How do you assist him with this? I tell him that we, it's to do with music law. It's copyright law. Mm-hmm.

And Borbo as a musician would know more about it. Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. So he's going to come, sure, but bring Borbo. It's very important. Yeah. That makes sense. What a great learning opportunity. This is a great chance to show your boy. Yeah. Yeah, totally. We got a DMCA copyright notice. You're right. Which actually, I literally just got an email from Pickaxe yesterday. We got a DMCA copyright notice. For singing, dancing in the moonlight. Oh, shit. Really? Who's for that? Her snakes?

Even though we like literally. We'd mangled it, but I think they're robots founded. Yeah. You know what that means, Jessica, is that you and I did such a good job singing, dancing in the moonlight that they thought it was the real version. Yeah. Snakes in the moon. That one? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they were like, two of these voices suck, but the rest of them are good, but the other two are really good.

I also, in terms of assisting, I do like the idea that whoever spends the stress to assist rolls it because it's you jumping in. Yeah. Do it. Yeah. Please. Five. Five. Five. Okay. So partial success. Partial success. Partial success. Yeah. You know what, kids? All right. You're right. If this is music related, copyright related, that's the kind of thing that my boy's really passionate about.

But I am the senior barrister, so I should come with him, but he'll come down and we'll be there to help you out. Okay. Tell him to bring his key tower and rah-rah. Where are we going? Wait, who? He'll know where to go. Yeah. And we cut to Borb's office and he's like, They didn't tell me where they were. That's the partial success. It's going to take him a while to find you.

It's so funny because we're in the rich part of the mall, so I like thinking that they go outside the condo and they're like, I don't know where to go. But then they see this like havoc happening at a house. It's got to be over there. Like Project X level party happening at Jim Z. Coplington's house. It's got to be there. It's currently being TP'd and sprayed with cheese. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sprayed with cheese. Whatever. Whatever.

Two of the hot meat boys are like, they have buckets and they're like, I got it out of the Rio Caso. And then they have those like pump spray things that you use. Cheese. Everybody open your mouths. The kids open the front window and they're spraying cheese into everyone's mouth. Like a big mom is jumping across it like it's a hose. Like a hose. Full of cheese. Okay. So again. This is the best night of my life! Oh.

Hi, Spoutlorians. Abdullah here. Just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Speltmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. I want to go talk to a land Tim. Okay, so where do you find a land? Well, before I go, I write in my diary. Okay.

As a dear diary, I, as the creature of the night that I am, am going to go hunt and stalk a land Tim. Volleyball player, head of the hog nogs, helper of dogs, and shitty food purveyor. I will find out what is going on, and I will get to the bottom of it. And I stalk out into the night. It's a night. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So where do you find a land Tim at night? In his bedroom. Incredible. Saying his prayers. What? No problems here. No problems here. We just yelled at Seamus for this exact thing.

It was a different situation. No, it's actually the same. You're observing him from afar because you're into him. Just so everyone knows, it's the same. It's not the same. It's the same. It's not the same. It's the same. Seamus is the same.

Is a bad guy what a land team might also be a bad guy oh yeah I don't think and you are also a bad guy no I'm not we steal we fight we burn down yurts yeah we have whoa occasionally going to people's rooms at night yeah maybe we do you fucking boys and kessler and ropes no I didn't that was like two years ago uh get over it I was a kid back then I'm not spying on him or anything I'm doing a batman thing so I took inspiration from the goat mask that seamus was wearing and I made my own mask I put on a phantom of the opera mask I cobble it together from what I have and the the the uh red mark on your face from where you had to pull off the mask that was glued to your face is still there and you place it on your face and you put it on your face and you put it on your face and you're basically making yourself the phantom of the opera every time you take this mask off I look into the mask and I say I will become a shadow of the night once more and then I put it on and I'm like oh that hurts so yeah I stalked through the I stalked through the night okay cool and you go to a land tim's house which you know where that it is yes okay why do you know where it is remember we had his diary yeah we had his diary we turned to yeah yeah yeah yeah he has if lost return to yeah good point yeah so I have his diary great so you go to a land tim's house and I know exactly when he's going getting home so and when he goes to bed because of his diary yeah because of his agenda it's different from what seamus did it's not the same clover is walking with me because she didn't want me to go alone yeah this is this is weird even for you menton no it's this is less weird than what your boyfriend did this is the same it's not the same you've been like sneakily reading his diary and now you're creeping into his house at night we all read his agenda it's an agenda it's an it frankly comes up from behind a garbage can it's not the same we never want we never read his agenda we never watched him through vents I'm going to have a conversation with him what about when we spied on him that's kind of the same well that that was all of us doing it it wasn't doing it I don't know we're kind of like one unit though like we're kind of like one unit though we're kind of like one unit one person so fentin is so frustrated it's not the same he's so mad he wants to hit clover and he can't because he she's beating him up so many times so he knows he can't and so he just starts crying a little bit oh I'm sorry it's working it's working and then he don't reward his tears he starts walking out ahead of you guys so you don't see him tearing up and you don't answer when we ask if you're okay yeah I must become the phantom the phantom never lets anyone see him cry yeah the phantom never cries he keeps his heart tucked away let me tuck my heart away uh so yeah we I guess we're all there yeah I guess everybody's here yeah so you're all are you all sneaking into the house no no it's just gonna be me but yeah can you guys keep like cover me you bet okay cool so you if you guys can hide in the bushes out front I'm gonna climb up to his bedroom okay yeah this is weird but okay it's not the same it's that one yeah uh so fentin it's like raining and there's like lightning yeah yeah yeah so the climbing is really hard yeah is what you're saying it's pretty hard yeah because the spring his little body and as the lightning flashes yeah the sprinklers are on and there's a fucked up uh electrical conduit that keeps getting hit by water and sparking yeah and every time you see him he's like in a different state of distress yeah he keeps dropping shit he's like hanging by one hand shoelaces are tied together at one point he's like throwing up over the side just flashing oh he's upside down his cape gets stuck on a pole yes he's being attacked by an owl oh my god which we he said to watch it we're watching all of it happen which we do and so you make it to the window and I think the sprinklers are still fucked up from when we burned down kesra's house yeah you can still smell a bit of smoke in the air yeah so it's grimy everything's grimy rope smell oh yeah like a little bit of smoke in the air like the opening of robert pattinson's the batman totally 100 I'm I'm sucked by the time I get up to the window and you get open you get up to the window it's unlocked and yeah I I sit on the sill and I allow myself to be silhouetted by the by the lightning uh-huh it and I I make my cape below a little bit yeah and I just wait to be noticed so so he's asleep as we established oh he's asleep I thought he was saying he was asleep he's asleep he's asleep he's asleep he's asleep we established it was nighttime he's I thought he was getting ready for bed I mean you said you knew so I guess he's not asleep yet I in his agenda he does not he's not supposed to go to sleep for another 10 minutes okay great so yeah he you sit there for a while you billow he comes in the end of his bed yeah he's just sitting there flossing then he gets down on the floor and he starts doing some push-ups well yeah tell me tell me more about what he's doing he gets up he starts to he just starts doing burpees uh-huh uh he's got a little he's got a kettlebell he starts doing some kettlebell swings he's keeping it pretty toned and then he does some stretching and he starts getting into his into his bed it's a pretty pretty it's a nice but like kind of sparse room okay it looks like he keeps it pretty tidy in here are there any like pictures or anything yeah there's like posters on the wall of various athletes there's like uh some tetherball players there's a volleyball poster there's a calendar okay are there any pictures I'm into uh no it doesn't appear to be okay yeah they keep billowing until he notices he turns the lamp off goes to sleep eight and a half hours later he gets up and he goes over to turn the lamp off and he looks out the window and he looks like and I've got the batwing jacket on too that franklin gave me oh yeah yeah and he uh he looks like he's about to turn the lamp off and he goes oh and he rips the window open he grabs you and he pulls you inside and he's like he's got you like pressed down on the ground he's got a fist back oh my god and fentin as he's like he's got me against the ground I go for you thank you here oh my god fentin and he lets go he lowers his fist what are you what are you doing I wanted to talk to you why didn't you just why didn't you just say you needed to talk to me because I needed to talk to you under cover of darkness sure okay what's go what's going on when the truth can be shared what's going on what's going on with you I'm going to bed yeah you come you came here presumably to ask me a question or to tell me something I did what's the deal with your parents what do you mean what's the deal with your parents with my parents what's going on with your parents did they adopt you yeah my yeah I'm adopted everybody knows that okay hold on I gotta think about what I'm trying to do I would love that hold on just give it to me yeah don't worry it's really good yeah this is great it's awesome the it's going great so he came into the situation basically just wanting to get an insight into the I think of the adoption process and whether a land is being used sure and also what happened to him he wants to know what happened he what do you mean what happened like what was the thing that happened two weeks ago that like made him so sad like that made everything that changed oh yeah well yeah fenton would know the date to like what happened on february 17th yeah yeah totally yeah and he would uh-huh yeah so fenton he gets up he and he goes and he he he takes the the agenda he opens it to the page that everything was crossed out on that nothing was scheduled and he slides it across the floor I want answers he snatches up the agenda you took my agenda franklin took it wow under the bus instantly lightning flashes behind franklin at that time he's like and you snitch we yeah what what do you what do you want to know what were you doing on that day oh franklin put you up to this no trying to rub it in my face what mindy broke up with me yes is this is this all of the sorry you hear clover and franklin high five from outside so loud slap it sounds like a lightning high five so hard yeah she broke up with me all right and I was bummed out of my mind and I was like oh my god what about it uh fenton uh drops the he's like oh fuck okay uh I thought it was I didn't I didn't know that that's what happened you you you

Hi, Spoutlorians, Abdul here, just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Speltmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. So it's a mixed result. You're in a risky position when the action starts. That makes sense. Makes sense. These roses are wilting fast. So we are at the front.

You put them in yogurt. We cut to the cool tree kids. Yeah, it's what every growing thing needs, is yogurt. Boys, roses. I mixed beet juice in there. So it's a vase. Ben's just walking into the ropes residence. With the most nutritious. It's a huge vase for them to sit in, and we're like, why aren't they happy in here? With a vase of yogurt filled with beet juice with 11 roses in it and one stem. Franklin cut the head off the other rose when he took it. And you kept the stem. Yeah.

And you can smell the yogurt. Maybe it'll grow a new rose, like a lizard's tail. Oh yeah, we think it might grow in time. Grow back. Man, this is going to really set it. I'm talking to Clover. I'm like, this is really going to start us on the right foot. I think. I think so. So you arrive at the ropes residence in your outfits, half a tuxedo, purple overalls, and the other half of the tuxedo and a mesh shirt. It's just incredible. And you ring the doorbell.

And whatever Butler answered last time has clearly been fired because a different one answers. The doorbell is the name of the Butler. Jeffrey. So Jeffrey arrives at the door. Hello. Hello. Are you expected? Yes, we've been summoned by the club. By what club? The babysitter's club. Ah, Miss Ropes's extracurricular activities. Yes, they are in the yurt even now. Allow me to take you to the backyard as my jaw detaches. It moves more. It moves more. It moves more. It moves more.

It's really helping your voice. He's getting so posh. He pops it back in place. I'm so sorry about that. My jaw tends to move a little bit. It doesn't have an accent. And as I spank it gets more. Please come with me quickly. Okay. And he walks you through the ropes residence. You've been here before. Yeah. Wow. How does it feel coming back to this place where perhaps your most morally questionable job took place? Fenton has blocked it out and he steals an ashtray. I was going to steal something.

Oh, damn it. Oh, damn it. We can all steal something. This is totally what we would do. So you're just walking through. Fenton grabs an ashtray. He tries to find the glitteriest ashtray. Yep. You know, the crystal kind. I do. Yeah. Yeah. He shoves it down his pants. It's so sharp. Yeah. You take one of those weird carbon like prism like ashtrays. Shove it down your front of your pants. Fuck. Franklin, what do you take? An edible arrangement. A full edible arrangement? A full edible arrangement.

Where do you hide it? I don't know. I take it in my hands. And you're just holding it. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I pass it off as something I had before. Oh, this? No, I brought this from home. An edible arrangement. I don't go home without it. What is clover steel? A pitcher of juice. So we walk through the kitchen. Like a jug of juice. Yeah. You're taking through the kitchen at the far back of the room.

It's like it was on one of those crystal platters with like little crystal cups. Yeah. I think it's just for guests. So you go, oh, this is for guests. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Through a house. We walked really far to get to this house. We walked from the shitty part of the wall to the good part of the wall. How long does that take, do we think? I don't know. Two hours. Two hours? Yeah, we're really slow.

We kept getting distracted. Flashback for one of the distractions. You know those things where you put a coin in and it circles a drain and drops in that they have at balls? Yeah, we didn't have any coins, but there was a rich family doing it, so you just watched. We're so late. We're like two hours late to this meeting. I learned how to hack the massage chair so we're all just sitting there in the rumbly massage chair. See, if you put a rock in, it will start.

Now we're going to be really relaxed. There's just smoke coming out of the massage chair as a rock rattles around inside. Fent is holding the vase full of yogurt. Yogurt's spilling out all over the place. A lot of the roses are missing petals. They're covered in yogurt. You've stolen a pitcher of juice and you're two hours late for the meeting. Why did you even give them a time? They can't. They could barely read. We just said, okay.

There's probably a list of questions about what food we wanted. Do you have any dietary restrictions? You guys just responded, okay. Okay. Period. Lowercase. Okay. Period. Like a shitty boy with a smiley face. Not even. But I think that that is our asset here, guys. I've met a hundred of these girls. They're worth… You haven't met a hundred girls. I've met a hundred of these kinds of girls. They're worth their weight in gold and they don't understand it.

And they tend to be charmed by absolute pieces of shit guys who show up late, are charmed, but incredibly disorganized. So we play into that and I'm just like, whatever. Oh, was this a flashback? You guys were talking about this on the way over? Yeah. At a certain point, Clover was like, are we super late? No, no, no, no. We're just time blind. We were getting pedicures. We were giving each other pedicures. We were having a pedicure circle. We were in the one in the water.

With your fucking shoes off. Yes. Clipping your toenails. Well, we went in there to get a coin for the thing and then we got distracted by, hey, this is kind of cleaning our feet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's all wash each other's feet. Because you guys all took your shoes off before you won in the fountain. Someone had dumped a bunch of dish soap in there. So there's like, I was like, well, we could just like wash our feet while we're here. When in Rome. Yeah. When in foam.

When in foam, wash your feet. That's what they all say. Yeah. That's the saying. When in foam, wash your feet. Yeah. That's what we teach to the boo club. Yeah. If you ever see foam in a water fountain, take a bath. Take a bath. I mean, somebody added soap for free. Yeah. That's a free bath. When in actuality, it's like a rave that happened the night before. Yeah, there's like, somebody's like pulling a prank on maintenance and you guys are like, free bath. Free bath. But it's Greg.

Greg is the paying a kid to go dump soap in the fountain. And he's like, you know what would be hilarious, kids, is if next time you saw a bunch of bubbles in a fountain, you wouldn't have a bath in there. Wouldn't that be hilarious? Oh, yeah. That's true. Show the authorities. Free bath. Hell yeah, Greg. Getting one over. Oh, thank God. I can't. My air filters are breaking down so rapidly whenever those kids are in here. It smells so bad. Did you know how expensive HEPA is in this world?

I think that's the risky situation. Jeffrey walks you through the kitchen. Beautiful kitchen. Brand new appliances. The fridge has a barbecue dispenser, barbecue sauce dispenser on the outside. Whoa. It's, there's, where the, where the water dispenser is it's barbecue sauce? It's barbecue sauce and chardonnay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a gift from the Fierros, directly installed in the Ropes family. Oh, right. We're not in Penny's house. No, but this was a gift.

Yeah, it's clear that they have a relationship with the Fierros in some way. Yeah, their parents are swingers. Oh, boy. There's a huge bowl on the counter full of keys. Franklin takes some of those keys. Just, oh, free keys. Keys. Just rightfully. Guys, look. Yeah, we start a key fight. Sick fight. I'm going to write that thing in my pencil bag. Start moving keys in each other. I put them in, oh, my knuckles. Fighting like a mini Wolverine. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Hi, Spoutlorians, Abdullah here, just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Speltmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. So I will, you know, I'm going to go to the Shoe-Ziam, but I'm going to stop at the corn dog cart first. Yeah, stress? Yeah. Totally. Nice.

So this is a vice role. Indulge vice. You get there and it is a new kid. It's Brandon. Brandinson. Brandon Brandinson. Wow. Yeah. I know someone else by a name such as that. Oh, yeah. It's because we're from the same town. Well, at least we were before we were abandoned here. So sorry to hear that, Brandon. Oh, it's okay. I just think about sometimes how my parents left me here. He starts singing. He starts playing a little concertina. Yeah.

Clover, it's like time stops or slows, and she lifts her little detective cap off. And I look through the skyline. Right at the moon. And I wonder if my parents will be coming for me soon. I butter the corn dogs as I wait away. As I hope to come home to my parents someday. La-di-da-di-da-da. Wait, no, sorry. I haven't finished that part yet. So a corn dog be for ye. Wait, is this guy even Irish? He's way more Irish than Seamus was. And Clover is fucking horned up like Cree.

You realize that she does not actually like Seamus. She just likes Irish. That's what it is. She just likes romance. Yeah, Ireland is the most romantic thing. Did you see that? I'm turning into a phantom. Did you just see what he did? Yeah, it was fucking unlistenable. Clover. It sounded like shit. You don't know anything about romance. What are you? Are you fucking kidding me? I've written like seven romance novels, Clover. How could you even say that to me? I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Mostly about murder. Stress of it all. He knocks the corn dog out of your hand. He's so mad. Whoa, it storms away. Clover's crying. That didn't wait. I didn't mean it like that. I just have to point out that when you two were fighting, Franklin. I'm choosing to believe leaned in and very quietly went. They were mostly about murder. Just because you put a romance, a murder book in a romance section doesn't make it a romance. Oh, I'm sorry that that happened to you. Just know.

Here, this one's on the house. Yes, this one's on Brandon. Brandon son. Falling in love with Clover writes a sinner. Spy. Book. And in Brandon's and Brandon's in pretty loose with the corn dogs. Wow. So Irish. Singing. Irish times two. So much. Thank you, Brandon. Oh, it's my pleasure. You know, a lot of people in the hot meat boys think that our job is to start. But Sean went into the accent. Think that our job is to gain power and exert influence.

I think that our job is to gain power and exert influence. I think that our job is to gain power and exert influence. Over those weaker than us. But I believe our job is to help those less fortunate and those in need. Oh, my God. Franklin starts writing. So you're rolling your lowest attribute, which I can see here is resolve because you only have two dots and resolve. You have three in prowess and three in insight. Correct. Okay. So then you're rolling two dice. You're taking the highest.

And I don't think you can actually fail this. Five. Yeah. Clear stress equal to your highest die result. So you clear five stress. Wow. So you reduce your stress. You've met Brandon Brandinson. New crush. I'll write that down. New crush. So we've got Seamus Seamus in Brandon Brandinson. And who is the French guy? Gerard. Gerard. Probably Gerard or some shit. We see Seamus in the in the rafters watching this happen. Yeah. And he's like, no, go over. Don't fall for it. Not that.

Not the goddamn Brandinson family's been. Fucking with the Seamus and family for generations. Got a Brandinson. And he emerges. He descends into the darkness once more. She likes me for me, right? Not just my accent. Not just the accent. It's not like a exoticism thing, is it? Oh, my God. It's Clover racist. And then the sheet mask starts talking to him from a chair like the fucking Green Goblin. She just likes you for your accent. Yeah. You're like a weird leprechaun to her.

Then we cut to Gerard, who's having a very similar reaction watching to her. Oh, he's watching from like around the corner. Yeah. No, Clover. Smoking his hair. Smoking. He's got a corn dog between his fingers. He will never love you like I do. Clover, they're corn dogs. They like the quality corn meal that man have. I'm not Irish. There's no ass. She likes me for. Oh, my God. She likes an accent. Oh, no. Oh, no. No. Catch all these. Oh, I'm more. Okay. With the pretty amorous kind of situation.

He's so upset he's going into French. What the fuck did you just say? I didn't understand a word of that. I'm usually pretty good at understanding accents. That was so close to the board of Quebec. Did you guys not actually not understand? I heard a bunch. I heard situation at the very end. I didn't understand a word you said. Wow. That was great. Okay. I return to the corn dog cart. I understood that. And Brandon's in like totters away on a sheep playing his concertina. Riding a sheep away.

He's got a sheep. Beautiful.! Oh. Oh.

Hi spell orians abdullah here uh just letting you know that we dropped a brand new patreon exclusive bonus game over on our patreon feed and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys head over to patreon for the full episode links are in the show notes okay we're getting started yes okay there's no good intro for this because this is a new thing that we're doing yeah hello everybody and welcome uh to us playing kids on bikes yes a play test we're doing the first of our um up all night play tests if you haven't heard the news our next campaign following Spout Lore we're planning as being a sort of 90s 2000s kid monster hunters in a small town and we're trying to find a way to get people to play with us and we're trying to figure out what system we want to use to play it yeah I think buffy meets uh home movies or yeah yeah or buffy meets what's a reference more people know uh uh stranger things stranger yeah it's like a stranger things buffy supernatural teen wolf yeah kind of vibe yeah but with a little bit of the uh uh garfield halloween special yeah it's a little bit it's like it's like uh think about like scared stupid uh hocus pocus hocus pocus like sabrina the teenage witch like sabrina the teenage the tv show like halloween town the movie but the first one only yeah exactly the original sabrina not the new one yeah not the new not the kieran and chipley one or whatever her name is the one with the animatronic cat yes the one with the horrible looking animatronic cat oh my god it's actually alive yeah it came alive again we gotta take care of it we need an old priest and a young priest and a bag and a river sabrina keeps bringing it to life by accident man how do we start this well it's christmas time yes so I think I think it is we we see the town of bushwick yes we are taking this this takes place in the town of bushwick british columbia a small town stars stars and snow ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong hallmark productions christmas eve in bushwick uh snow falls on the beautiful mountain town of bushwick british columbia once a center of the logging industry in this part of bc uh and then following the destruction of its mill in the 1970s the town fell on hard times and eventually became a sort of sideshow attraction town full of pop-up shops and museums of mystery folklore cryptid tales every old purse every person over 40 that you talk to in bushwick has a different legend that they want to tell you about and they're all looking to make a hot buck off it oh man the adults of this town are not doing well it seems like they are not uh the snow is falling on the quiet streets I think it's like four four thirty p.m on christmas eve and we we we're going to have to go to the the camera zooms in on I mean we've got two people here with jobs are you both working this this evening yep yeah okay so you are not together you are at your your your respective jobs yeah I guess uh I am closing up shop early because this is a family-owned business that I work at oh yeah so they are saying everyone can go home at at four thirty turn it back into their living room yeah this pet store all the feeds so they can like sit on the sacks yeah nice wow this family's not doing well no what what's the feed store called pets plus food pets plus food pets plus food uh great yeah pets plus food you're like we see amber lee dragging like the big barn door on the front I'm slipping on the ice oh fuck yeah the yeah but it does slowly but surely close put the big padlock on funk and uh you know pull up your what was it pink fuzzy uh no it's my like dark green and purple kind of uh puffy oh yeah and then I also have mittens like that are attached with the string nice nice sweet and uh I think you all had my my presentation my suggestion is you all had plans to meet up at the dairy chic an old dairy queen that had the franchise revoked in bushwick and was changed by its owner to the dairy chic a middle eastern style ice cream restaurant and shawarma place and it was the it was revoked for two reasons because uh one we failed too many health inspections and then to the owner called a jihad on the health inspector all right yeah that'll get you closed for sure that'll get something done it made the it made headquarters which was in alabama alabama alabama alabama very upset what bill narrowly escaped with his life by law bill it was by law and uh we cut to stephen arthur who is heading to the dairy chic as well as amber lee hops on her bike and very carefully sorry I meet I meet amber lee at her work I know the schedule oh great yeah so yeah you pull up and you guys meet each other outside I do the skid but it's all ice didn't see a black ice you do not stop skidding goes down still skidding still skidding I sure put pigs on my bike yeah I stopped I try to stop him from boom right through you yeah I topple over really hit my butt on the ground just slammed into each other man winter's hard yeah it's tough up here in the mountains it's cold I like that we still insist on riding our bikes yeah it's fast it's so fast on the ice yeah yeah and you both hop on your bikes and head to the dairy chic yeah for free ice cream because we know our friends working and he always gives us free ice cream I wonder if he's gonna do free shawarma too oh what do we wonder what we can get out of them today yeah you guys get too excited you bike too fast yeah we bike too fast and you're as you're riding through town what do you see it's pretty dark in this area there's like some street lights of course and they decorate for christmas mm-hmm yeah so there's lights strung on the buildings there's a and on the street poles wreaths uh on the tops of the poles yeah yeah there's a one really big tree kind of in town and they decorate with lights but they didn't have a ladder that's tall enough for the very top so it kind of stops like seventy five percent of the way up you can see at a certain point they just started trying to huck lights up there yeah there's a broken star on the other side of the tree well that's staying up there ugh fuck good enough to go up there Everyone in town just agrees that where the star lands is symbolically the star on the top of the tree.

So everyone just goes, there it is. So beautiful. Yeah, and the town's kind of closing up. It's Christmas Eve. Not a lot of places are open except for the Dairy Chic and the Curling Club, which we have described as an organization which has an unusual amount of influence over the town of Bushwick, is having their yearly Christmas Eve. Bonspiel. Yeah, Bonspiel. Oh, yes. They're ostensibly, it is a curling Bonspiel. It is also like a party for the adults in town. What's Bonspiel?

It's like a curling tournament. It's like a word for- An event, a curling event. So you go by the Curling Club, which is one of the bigger, probably nicer buildings in town, though that is saying a little too much. It was still constructed in the 70s and kind of falling apart a little bit. It's got a big curling rock above the door to be like, this is where curling happens. And then it's got a marquee and the marquee says, Christmas Eve Bonspiel tonight, adults only. Adults only?

Man, imagine looking in the window. Yeah. And they're having such a good time. It's like when the Grinch looks in the window in the Grinch and all the adults are drinking eggnog. Oh, yeah. It's clear there's some sort of swingers party going on. Is that Coach? There's a man in his mid-delay. He's in his mid-40s. He's stripped to the waist, but he's wearing curling pants. He's on a curling team. And he's got ice-cold cores in his hand. And he's scooting himself across ice with one foot.

He's like, shh. So graceful. Despite the fact that he's past his prime, he's looking skilled on the ice. Somebody else's prime. Yeah. Exactly. He's a bunch of people's prime in that room. Mm-hmm. And you're heading to… To the Dairy Chic, which looks just like an old Dairy Queen. Yeah. It's got a sort of glass sitting area and then a red roof. Just imagine a Dairy Queen listener. And that's what it looks like, but it says chic on it instead of queen.

But with fake palm trees and everything inside. Yeah. Yeah. Desert painted on the wall. Every small town has a weird exotic-themed restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. This is ours. This is ours. And we cut inside to find Mohamed. Mohamed. Managing the Dairy Chic that he works at. Yeah. What's the Dairy Chic like on Christmas Eve? Oh, it's pretty empty because nobody really wants cold ice cream. They don't even want hot Middle Eastern food? They don't want cold ice cream or hot Middle Eastern food.

So I just said so long to the one Jewish family in town. Thanks for coming. And then I was like, what are you guys going to do for this Christmas? Us? Us? No, I was asking. You're GMing, right, Sean? Oh, yeah. No. But you asked… You asked the Jewish family. Yeah. I was like, what are you guys up to tonight? Nothing. Yeah, me neither. All right. That's what it's like to not be Christian, I guess. Yeah. We're just, I don't know, watch a movie. Yeah. Get some sleep. Cool. Cool.

Well, see you later. I'll see you at the Chinese food restaurant tomorrow. They high-five you. High-five. Bye, David. See you, Mo. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. I think that's when we, like, scoot up on our bikess. Yeah, the door goes like, ah. And I can't stop my bike in time, like, whoa, watch out, David. Mo, you look out the window, you see your friends on their bikes just scream past the window. Absolutely obliterate the Jewish family. Yeah.

And tin garbage cans. Oh, yeah. I definitely aim for the garbage can. You guys slam into the dumpster out back. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And, yeah, you go out back to the dumpster and there are your friends. Hey, guys. Hey. How was work tonight? Oh, it was empty. The Jewish family came in, the Chinese family came in, the Turkish family came in, and I didn't do anything else. That's awesome. Yeah. A lot of people came into work today, which was weird.

Oh, right, because they're all buying last minute Christmas gifts. Yeah. We're selling a lot of little turkey treats. Yeah. A lot of puppies last minute. A lot of puppies last minute. Oh, man, so many puppies. Yeah. We're going to be getting those puppies back next week. I just know it. It's all the parents that divorced. Yes. Like, in the last week, they're like, okay, I got to win this Christmas. Yeah. There's only one way I can imagine doing that. Puppy etiquette, isn't it? Yeah.

So, you guys had a plan. Mm-hmm. Something that you've done the last couple Christmas Eves together. What is that? We go to my house and we wrap dumplings. Oh, yeah. Very nice. For the restaurant tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, to your parents. Do your grandparents run a restaurant? It's the Chinese restaurant. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. So, it's like the Jewish family came in, the Turkish family came in, your grandparents came in. Yeah.

It's really cute when your grandparents come in because they don't speak a lot of English, but they always just order the same thing, which is your grandma gets a dilly bar and your grandpa gets a medium soft serve cone dipped in butterscotch. That sounds right. What is the dairy sheet called dilly bars? I don't think. I think of a really good thing. Hold on. I have a really good thing. I know. We were already waiting. It's going to be really funny. It's every show.

I can think of a really good thing. It's like. Dubai bar. Yeah. You settled. You did it. No, it's not that. No, come on. You got something in there. Abdullah bar. Abdullah bar? No, I don't know how you say it. Abdullah bar. Oh, no, it's an Alhamdulillah bar. Alhamdulillah bar. Yeah. Yeah, it's that. The whole town. Most people in town. Most people in town still call it dilly bar. Yeah, they just call it dilly bar. They try. Yeah. They really try. And then they eventually, you just know.

You know what I mean? Alhamdulillah bar. Alhamdulillah? Yeah. Bar. Yeah, dude. It's a fucking dilly bar. I'm just imagining a bunch of like. White. White. Like moms standing in front of you going. Alhamdulillah. No, it's fine. Alhamdulillah. Kath. Alhamdulillah. Catherine, just call it a dilly bar. It's fine. I'll take it. I'll take it. No, I care. I can do it. I prefer that you don't continue to try. I don't think it works like that. That's what Mo said.

I prefer you don't continue to try to understand my culture. You know what? Be less understanding. Oh, man. Right. But yeah, the dairy sheik's starting to close up. Well, I mean, you're closing it up. Yeah, I'm the only person here. Can we help you with any closing duties for maybe a dip cone? Oh, yeah. I could do the mopping. Yeah, if you want to. I could do the bathrooms. You really want to do that? Do what? I don't mind is what I'm saying. I'm fine with it. I know people don't like it.

I don't give a shit. Okay, yeah. If you want to mop up and you want to clean the bathrooms, I'll empty the fryer and then I'll give you guys each a dip cone. Yes. Sick. Sick. Sick. Sick. Sick. Thank you.

Hi, Spellorians. Abdullah here. Just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Spellmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. We cut to Borbo inside, and he's ripped a strip off his sweater vest that he was wearing. He's tied it around his head like a bandana.

He's sweating and steaming in front of this thing, and he's like, all right, my greatest foe, a fridge. This is the killing blow that I, from hell's heart, I strike at thee. And he, and he punches it, and the engine goes. And there's like, coolant starts pouring out of the fridge onto the ground. And he's like, oh, fuck. Like when that liquid nitrogen truck crashes in T2. Yeah, exactly. So there's coolant pouring all over the floor, and he's like, oh, no.

And he jumps up on like a counter, and he starts running through the kitchen. Oh, sick. But outside, you guys are getting really cold. I get closer to me, you guys. It's so cold. Oh, my God. Huddle up. The gabagoolies start looking around, and they're like, no, no, not again. No. What do you mean? It's coming. What's coming? The big chill. Whoa. Where'd it go? And they start running. It's seeping out from under the doors. And you can feel the air around you is getting like sub-zero.

What do you do? I mean, we don't want to leave Borbo in there to freeze to death. Borbo! I'm coming! And he jumps out a window. And he just smashes through the neon signs. Feet hurt. Exactly. And he lands and hits the ground. Oh, kids, I fucked up. It's okay. I mean, I effed up. Sorry, kids. I'm trying not to swear in front of you guys as much. Anyways, that thing's busted. We got to get the fuck. We got to get the eff out of here. Okay. Baron Kellogg, my trusty seed, help me.

That is not a relationship, little boy. We're going to die. Please, Baron. There is no vegetable blood without our lives. Please keep us intact. Okay. That allows a roll. Okay. Can I roll a sway? We can do it as a group action to convince him to save us. Sure, sure. So who's leading this group action? I'll lead it. So sway. Sway. Risky standard. And I go, Baron Kellogg, please. I pledge myself to you forever if you save my family and I from the big chill. I grasp his claw-like arm.

And I go, we cannot turn into the Gabagoolies. We're way too cute for that. People have to see our faces. Oh, shit. I got one. I got a five. I got a six. Okay. So you take one stress. Holy shit. We're so close. One more and I'm in trouble. So he says, all right, as long as you have pledged yourself to pay tribute to Baron Kellogg with the blood of the beat. This I will help you. I pledge allegiance with of my vegetable juicer and my blender. And my axe. Do not think I take this pledge lightly.

You are now in the servitude of Baron Kellogg. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good, good, good, good. Let's go. Let's go. I am also quite little. Oh, my God. So I can only take one or maybe two of you. But let's go. Help us. And he starts running. He's like. He turns around. Get on my back. Maybe he can hold on to Borbo and he could be Borbo's wings. Oh, shit. Turn Borbo into a winged creature. Let's say we're on the second floor and there's a mezzanine that he could jump out on. Oh, sure. Yeah.

And Baron Kellogg is like, run for the balcony. I will save you, buff boy. Don't worry. In a flashback, we would see that the cool three kids just before they came in here went up a little bit of stair. And we are on the second floor. And as you start, as Borbo's running. Borbo, athletic specimen. I can feel the blood coursing through his veins. Oh, yeah. He feels like the heartbeat. How old are you again, buff boy? Oh, I'm 11. Dang it. Son of a bitch.

You're the quads of you as an 11-year-old never seen anything like. You should talk to Guinness. As Borbo's running. Borbo's running. Baron Kellogg's like extending his two long arms. And he can see that his sleeves are basically like tearaway jeans. He's got snaps along the outside and he shakes them out. And vrook, the weirdest like human skin colored membranous wings extend out. And he starts to flap. Oh, nice. And Borbo's running as his wings start flapping.

And Borbo feels himself lifting off the ground. Yeah. He's like, I'm running faster than I've ever run in my life. Yeah. Yeah. I'm alive. Look at me, kids. I'm Barfa. Don't touch my fist. They're broken. Everyone's hands are broken. Yeah. And the coolant is rushing down the hallway behind you. It's like breaking windows. Like. Yeah. And the previously frozen people are encased in yet another layer of ice. Preserving them for future generations. Their eyeballs are like, oh, no.

How are we still alive? It doesn't matter. Like we're running. There's like a mist and there's like kids. He's passing kids and they're like getting like, oh, the Gabba. Goose. A couple more frozen. Oh, shit. The Gabba. Ghoulies do. I think at least a few of them get caught in the big chill. We see this slow-mo sequence where like Borbo's running and then like the glass is like shattering out the cold. Yeah. Of each window. Little piece of the glass are cutting his face. Oh, yeah. Totally. Yeah.

And Cal is like. He's only 11. He's only 11. I cannot. This big 11 year old. I cannot suck his blood. The vampire's only as strong as his willpower. And then like a huge tidal wave of like coolant comes around the corner after us. Still running. You pass the ice rink with the old nutcracker set on it and the trees start exploding. Whoa. From the cold. And Borbo. And Borbo. Emerges with the coolant just behind him and dives. Boom. The double doors flap open to Bourbon Street.

The second floor of Bourbon Street. One of those like old timey New Orleans style wrought iron balconies. Nice. In front of you. Yeah. And he. Bubble. Who can say. It's still the take your kid to dinner day. It's still happening. Which normally never would happen. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. We come through a cloud of smoke. Yeah. As he has Borbo dives off the balcony. What you say? He extends his arms and the kids are hanging on his chest and the wings come out as Borbo flies through the air.

And then the coolant hits all the people. No, I think like that the warm. Okay. Because Bourbon Street fucking warm in here. Yeah. They've been. Yeah. They've been roasting nonstop. They've been putting on brisket. Yeah. All day. Yeah. Yeah. It's the barbecue smoke air. Yeah. The coolant hits the air and it's just a rainstorm inside the mall. Oh, it's like sizzling. All the steam. Yeah. It's like raining barbecue smelling rain.

There's a bunch of angry moms here, too, because a bunch of dads stayed too late and got drunk. They're like, oh, I thought you were taking the kids today. I did. Babe, I did. Babe, look, I did. Babe, I did. This is my one day off a year. It's not take your kids to beer day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I've got him and it's a different kid. That's not even our son. It's a kid tied to a post. Look. Look what I did for you, babe. He's nodding on a giant piece of venison. I did this for you, babe.

I love you so much. Yeah. The coolant and the barbecue smoke air create like a weather front. Oh, yeah. All the sprinklers go off. Now it's just a torrential downpouring. Bourbon Street. All the dads are putting umbrellas over their briskets to try to keep them. Pushing kids out of the way to get umbrellas over the meat. The meat. The meat. Dad rips a rain jacket off of his kid and puts it over top of the fucking hog that he's smoking. It still has to rest for 20 minutes.

And then you hear Keith Fiera go, save the spices. There's celery salt everywhere. But you're watching the dry rubs. The dry rubs. He's watching the dry rubs. He's watching these dry rubs become wet rubs from his like perch above. And he's just bawling. Tears rolling down his face. Yeah. And then he sees over the crowd, the cool tree kids. And Bourbon attached to a vampire. And he's like, cool street kids. Franklin just like waves at him. Double finger. Goodbye. Oh.

Hi, Spellorians. Abdullah here. Just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon exclusive bonus game, Spellmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. So what do you do now? Well, we had brought the cold cut trio. Yeah, and they start cracking their knuckles. Be careful. He puts one of his bandaged mitts out.

He grabs his hands awkwardly. Franklin cracks all the knuckles of the cold cut trio for them. Thanks, boss. Oh, yeah. They're feeling real nimble. I'm ready to punch some ghosts. Nice. But you said last time that the cold cut trio were… Rooks, right? That they're loudmouths? That's true. We're not actually very good at fighting. Go ahead. Uncrack these knuckles for us, boss. I broke all your fingers. Okay, fine, fine. You do all the talking. We'll do the fighting. Yeah.

If you make them so mad that they come out to fight us… You get them out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If we start talking, they're going to be so scared they want to stay in. Okay. They'll think we're a bunch of ghosts. Yeah, so this is… Covered in sperm. Scariest conversation. All right. So we're going to go in. Okay. Step one is find their lair, right? Yeah. I mean, but that's the thing is if you do all the talking, they're going to… You'll draw them out.

You don't even really have to find where they are. I see. Just start walking through the halls talking shit. Shouting to the darkness. Okay. That's what we're going to do. We're going to go out there. We're going to start talking some shit. And Murray Muffalato spins his razor scooter at the bottom. And then he puts it down. All right. Let's go. And he starts going… Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Hey. Hey. Get out of here. Come on.

And he starts scooting down the hallway. And Tony and Tony are rollerblading behind him. Yeah. Insult them. Insult them more. Hey, you fucking stupid gobba ghoulies. Sorry. Shouldn't have cursed. Hey, you freaking gobba ghoulies. We're keeping it PG. You know what? More like the gobba stoolies. Like stool like from a butt. Like poop. Do you hear us? And they're like, whoa, Murray's… Murray's out of control. He's the… He's so good at this. Make fun of their moms.

I heard that your mom is so hungry that when she sees your gobba ghoulie mask, she eats it. Whoa. Okay. Hold on. I can do better than that. No, I can do better than that. Your mom is so old that when she… When… Fuck. Your mom is so old. And then Tony walks up and he starts massaging Murray. And he's like, you got it, buddy. You got this. Hey, first time jitters, buddy. Okay. Your mom is so old that when you were born, you were an antique. Oh! Oh! Fuck you, bro. Oh, man. That was okay.

That was all right. I'll come up with a better one. And then Tony's like, yeah. And your mom is so old that when you rolled out of her hoo-ha, it was like Indiana Jones. Oh! Dust everywhere. And cobwebs and shit. Uh-oh. What's that? Is it Alfred Molina? All fucked up because of the darts in the walls? Shit. Your mama's hoo-ha is like an old cave protecting a bunch of indigenous Incan artwork. Your mama's hoo-ha belongs in a museum. Your dad has chosen wisely. I don't know.

Make fun of their dads now. Oh, your dad is so young that it's actually a real problem that him and your mom are together. Oh. Yeah. Your dad's. And then Tony comes back and he's like, that's right. Your dad's so young that his dick hole, when you fell out of it, it was like Indiana Jones. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Out of your dad's wide dick hole. No, buddy. Reel it back in. Reel it back in. Get off of the dick hole stuff.

It was so wide, it was like a marching band could come out. No, you're going back in the other direction. You gotta bring it back. Do something else. Make it cool.

Hi, Spoutlorians, Abdul here, just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Speltmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. Okay, so your plan is just go to the Gobba Ghoulies' hideout and attack. Yeah, just try and destroy their shit. Yeah. Let's go fuck their faces up.

Let's do that. They come into our house and they threaten us in our house? They come and disrespect us in our house? Yeah. Yeah. Let's go into their house. And do it. Disrespect them. Yeah, with our fists, and our feet, and our knees, and my elbows. And one very buff paralegal. Smash cut, too. We're hiding in the shadows. Oh, yeah, at the alleyway. Yeah. Yeah, and Borbo comes down the stairs of the law firm, Borblo and Borblo.

Oh, and all the work people are like, okay, well, we'll see you tomorrow. Yeah, have a great night, guys. I'm just going to go over here. I'm making roasts. Roasted chicken for dinner. Oh, wow. D-G-I-F, am I right? Yeah, totally. Oh, my God. And he walks away. Oh, man. Borbo, that was hard to watch. He stumbles into the alley and braces himself against a wall. He's like, oh, the lameness is too much. Oh, I feel it in my blood. You don't like having small talk, do you, Borblo?

It's just like, say stuff. Yeah, what's like a water cooler? You do not want to know, kids. What is the difference between hardly working and working hard? Oh, God, don't even say those words to me. What does it mean when you have a case of the Mondays? Can I buy a case of the Mondays or do I have to be an adult? Nobody gets a case of the Mondays. Not around here. Should we put a pin in this? Should we circle back next time? Do you not have the bandwidth for this conversation?

And he drops to his knees. He starts ripping his suit. Like it's a werewolf. And he rips the buttons off and underneath you see the word security. We really got to do this on purpose. He howls at the moon. He howls at the broken spotlight in the ceiling. Making this alleyway feel like it's tight. The mall clock that says 505. His shadow comes out immediately. Wow. Wow. He rips his torn, his cut off slacks away and there's some jean shorts underneath. Wow.

That must have been really uncomfortable wearing those all day. He's on the ground like heaving. Yeah. I'm sorry you had to see that, kids. That was the fucking coolest thing I've ever seen. What a transformation. All right. What's the plan? We're going to their house and we're fucking on mama. Cool. Usually we do like kind of a sneaky thing. Because we're like kind of a sneaky crew. But Clover's pretty pissed off at the cabagoolies. We all are. If you want, we could compromise.

Yeah, we could compromise. I was thinking of maybe creating some sort of sneaky distraction. And then while they're all in a kerfuffle from our sneaky part, then we bust their noses. Oh, yeah. Oh, this makes perfect. Okay. This is what I was going to say. Now that I am an adult man, the laws of the mall mean that I cannot act directly against any of the kid gangs. Oh, because you're 20 now. You're no longer a THC. Yes. Which means I cannot hurt them. No. But I can smash their shit up.

You're like, what? That's the rule? I don't know. It's probably pretty great. I'm not a lawyer. Yeah. I'm not a fucking lawyer. I'm not a fucking lawyer. But all I know is that I can't hurt any of them. You know what I mean? Okay. I can't hurt them. But you leave that to us. To us. Holy shit. Whoa, dude. Our friend. I'm like, are you kidding me? Oh, God. Paul. Are your knuckles okay? No, it's so loud. Call my wife. Sally, you broke all of your fingers. That was so sick. That's such a funny idea.

Somebody would be like, leave that. Snaps all their fingers at once. Oh. So we cut to we're in the nurse's office. Yes. Franklin's getting his hands wrapped up. Nah, I should be fine. Yeah, just. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. You know, try and snap all the bones at once for a while. I'd let him heal up. I'm pretty strong, huh? Most people can't do that. You can't break all their fingers. I don't think that. I don't think I've ever seen that before in my life. She's a really pretty nurse. Yeah.

Hey, these are still working. Don't do that. Who still has two working thumbs? This guy. Hands are actually under an enormous amount of strain. I wouldn't do thumbs up for a while either. Yeah. Just architecturally, your hands are moments. It's a collapse. So many cracks so many cracks

Hi, Spoutlorians. Abdullah here. Just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Speltmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. I imagine this happened like you were at a carnival or something alone, because you were so sad, and then you saw them on a date. Oh, yeah.

And then you accidentally couldn't stop yourself from following them. Yeah, it was really bad. I was on the Ferris wheel by myself, which is where I like to go. The saddest thing you could say. And he doesn't sit in the middle of the cart. He sits to the one side. Yeah, just so he's extra alone. It's obvious. Always gets a milkshake with two straws. Oh, yeah. There was a thing where when you went to get on the Ferris wheel alone, the carny was just like, whoa, what are you doing?

Isn't there another one of you? Hey, I don't know. Usually they let me on here by myself because I'm really sad. And then the carny goes, hey, are we allowed to let people ride the Ferris wheel alone? God damn it, dude. That echoes through the park. I've literally never seen this. Yeah, there's a sign there that says you must be this many people to ride this ride. It's just a hand that's doing it. Number two. Yeah.

Listen, man, unless you want to get on there with me, which I don't think you want to hear a 15 year old boy crying and eating a sundae by himself. Just let me on. Hey, did you say this guy wants to go on alone? Alone. Alone. Alone. Oh, hey, Alain. I literally did not see you standing there. Well, I was standing in line and I don't know why I'm commenting on this.

I noticed, look, I noticed that you've been, you've been kind of, you know, stressed out that I've been seeing, that I've been seeing Mindy, right? What do you mean? He says through clenched teeth. I just want you to know it's nothing personal, man. Like I really, I really do. I respect you. I know. I'm so mad at that. I imagine he's holding like a bag of popcorn and like the popcorn explodes. He doesn't even clench it. It just blows up. It's unpopped and it pops. This is you.

I know you and your, you and your friends have done a lot for the mall and a lot for the kids in the mall. And I just, you know, I know that your time with Mindy has passed and I'm sorry to, I'm sorry about that. Dude. This, the carny goes. Oh, fuck, man. Ouch. The other carny, like selling the stuffed animals is also watching, going like, ooh, fucking rough. Whoa, bro. That fucking sucks. This is from the guy in the ski ball.

The Ferris wheel has been stopped the whole time and there's a long line of kids too behind it. Yeah. They're like, oh, damn. Shit. Shit. Shit. But I just want you to know that. I really hope that we can. We can be friends. Friends. It doesn't have to be tense between us. You know, I don't think part of my French that you get to say that to me. Miss here. And he raises his hands and goes, all right. Just wanted to, you know, just wanted to say that. Just wanted to say that.

Thank you for coming up to me though. And for being so gracious, I will do better to hide my feelings from you. He kind of shakes his head a little bit. I don't care. All right. And the carny leans forward and is like, that's unbelievable, bro. You got, you got to get on this Ferris wheel right now. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It's like giving you a nap. You're staring at a land and you just sail up into the air. He's just staring in front of you. You're looking at him. I'm up. Okay.

And you get a point of prowl out of that. Even though a land apparently, or maybe he didn't see you, but he just wanted to clear the air. Or maybe he didn't realize that you were stalking them. Yeah. Yeah. Saw you're conveniently around. Yeah. I didn't mean to be stalking them. I just saw. I was watching them walk. You accidentally stalked them. I watched them walk through the fair from the height of the Ferris wheel. Yeah. Is it my fault that I have a good advantage point? Yeah.

The carny like stopped the Ferris wheel when you were at the top and left you up there for a while. So I could cry. Like in the car, I'm scream crying, but you just see me up there like. And eating a sundae, a milkshake. And then everyone in the line is just like, what's happening? We need to get on that thing. And the car is like, dude's working through some stuff. Okay. I'm just going to let it happen for a bit.

Carney points at a sign that says management maintains the right to let people work through some stuff. And then a second sign that says crying aloud. Yes, exactly. All right. Who's got another downtime activity? I don't know.

Hi, Spoutlorians. Abdullah here. Just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Speltmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. Because we want him to absolutely be busted, right? Right.

Do you think that having marked off your trans powder means you have more, or do you think that was your only dose? Would I have used all of my trans powder on Harold? You tell me. You were doing a bit. Do you want to feel the consequences of your bit? Yeah. Then you don't have any more. Fuck. I could use the cane sword. Yeah, I have Demi-Hab tools. Kill him. You probably got something else on your sheet. I mean, I have the option of Epistemol. I have a pistol and a second pistol.

Clover just has two guns. All of a sudden, two 9mm pistols. A dove flies out of her pocket. Yeah, what the fuck, Clover? What if we do let him escape, but put the fire out, so that the vials are left over? So it's like a water gun. Water guns. Yes. That's Super Soaker 75. That's Super Soakers. Two pistols or water guns. Yeah. So he escapes through his painting. The painting closes. The painting closes behind him, and Clover sees the burning files in the garbage can.

I pull out my Super Soaker and a second Super Soaker. I hand the other one to you guys. Nice. All right, take aim. I knew these would come in handy. Yeah, when we're going on to Stega, we're like, we need to be well-armed. Well-armed, yeah. It's the only time we've ever used them. It's so cool. I love that we've unlocked some water guns in this. Yeah, it's us. There's a quiet moment where we're at the hose, slowly filling the Super Soakers. Like, just looking around. Next to a hose. Yeah.

Like, it's Ocean's Eleven, like, you're, like, getting dressed and, like, loading your shit, and then it's just you at a hose. Squeak, squeak. Yeah, Steven Soderbergh-style, like, cuts. Yeah. Cuts between, like, the frames or third frames, and then it's all us prepping, and then it's us at Crystal Pool in our bathing suits. And that's a full shot. That's the whole screen. Static. And, like, they have, like, big compartments, so it takes about five minutes to load each. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Franklin's got goggles and a snorkel and flippers on, and he's squirting the water in his mouth. And, like, stop it. I have to fill it again. It's hose water, though. It's the best water. It is the best water. It's the best water. Actually, hose water out of a Super Soaker is the best. Oh, my God. Yeah. You can taste the plastic. It's so fresh. Kids just, like, ah. Yeah.

We're, like, I love the taste of the plastic of these Super Soakers. Yeah. And then there's a seven-minute scene where we're shooting each other in the back of the face. She's drinking it. You guys have never been more hydrated. Yeah.

Hi, Spoutlorians. Abdullah here. Just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Speltmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. We were all in our swimsuits in that scene. And I had my little floaty tube around my waist. I had my little dinosaur floaty. Oh, it's a dragon.

Yeah, it's a little dragon floaty. We came straight from the pool. Fenton's wearing flip-flops. Franklin still had goggles on. The ones that cover your nose and make you sound all weird when you talk. We all flip-flop away. Slap, slap, slap. We have our towels. Oh, that's so funny. Definitely a Speedo. Franklin's a Speedo kid, for sure. He's got those webbed fingers on. Oh, yeah. So cool. So cool. So funny. Are you guys going back to the pool? Kind of what?

I kind of want to hang out at the pool, you know, just biding our time. And then we witness stuff. Do we gather information while we're there? Sure. Yeah, because the pool is like a watering hole in the savannah. Everybody comes to the pool. Yeah. There is, like, because there's the adult and teen pool, like the regular pool. But then they also have, like, a little, the toddler zone, which is where all, like, the little slides are. The kiddie pool. The kiddie pool. Yeah.

And the, like, little kids will go there and hang out. Yeah. Where do we usually hang out? Do we hang out in the adult pool or the kid pool? We hang out in the… Family bathroom. Yeah. Family bathroom. But we also hang out in the one that's, like, a stream. The Lazy River. The Lazy River. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Lazy River's great. Yeah. Yeah. I like to think that because you're also, you're growing up, but also you have a variety of ages when you get to the pool.

Because you're so codependent, you all stand in between the kiddie pool and the adult pool looking back and forth. Yeah. We're like, neither seems right. Yeah. Lazy River. Lazy River. Lazy River. That's a product of our codependence. And then you're all, we see the Cool Treat Kids floating down the Lazy River on different tubes holding hands. Yeah. So they're locked in a triangle. Yeah. They let go of Henton once and lost him for a rotation. He was not okay after. Never let me go again.

So you guys are wanting to just kind of gather info or learn. You know what? You tell me something that you see at the pool. We see Mindy and Alain Tim going down the water slides together. Yeah. They're going down together. Like, Mindy will sit behind him and they'll just ride the slide together. They're not riding a double. No. They're in a single. But they're going together. Yeah. And the lifeguard's like, don't. They just go anyways. Young love. Yeah. They're so cool.

They're breaking all the rules. Breaking pool rules. So. No, it's fine. I don't care anyways. I never cared in the first place. Well, I don't know why you're looking at me like that. Yeah, you're right. Like, who cares about them? Yeah. Who cares about stupid anybody? Who cares about stupid Seamus and how dependent he is? Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. Who cares about beautiful and Tim? I think I want to fight that lifeguard.

Hey, why'd you let them go down the pool to the slide two at a time, you idiot? What are you, blind to breaking the rules? That's 100% what a kid would do. I open hand slap him with the thin fingers on. And then it's just one of those really awkward, like, punch. You're both punching each other really flapping at one another. I throw him in the pool and blow his wick. I throw him in the pool and blow his whistle. Oh, look, the lifeguard needs saving. You can't blow that whistle.

That's my whistle. I climb up his chair. I sit in and blow the whistle out into his face. Get out of that chair. We're still in the lazy room. We're watching this. Should we go help him? It feels like he's got it well in him. I think he needed to do that alone. I am apologizing to this man the whole time. Yeah. I'm going through something. This is not for you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Hi, Spoutlorians, Abdul here, just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Speltmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. But yeah, you guys are walking home one night from just, you know, a night's walk, a day's mall business, walking back to Candyland.

We were watching the fountain for a while. It was really nice. It was. They have a light show at the fountain. The parents will throw coins in. Like, they'll give coins to their kids. You guys had snorkels. You were in the fountain. Yeah. Yeah. That's why we go at the light show, because we can actually see where all the coins are. Yeah, we steal them. We distract the parents. After they throw the coins. And the janitor who has the push broom that puts all the money to the middle. Yeah. Yeah.

He's distracted by all the lights. Yeah. We're, like, pushing the broom away. Like, get out of here. Yeah. It's our money. And then after we climb out, we're, like, just watching the fountain with, like, a pile of coins. Beautiful. Just having a good day. Yeah. Holding hands. Oh, yeah. Because we're code opponents. Yeah. And as you're walking back, holding hands with your pockets full of coins that you stole out of a fountain. And they're all drawstring bathing bottoms. Yeah. So my butt cracks.

All the way out. We bought one ice cream cone to share. Yes. We want three scoops, my good man. Three scoops. Are you sure you guys don't want three one scoop cones? Three one scoop cones on the bottom. Hey. No, no, no. It's organized by how tall we are. Yeah. Franklin. We're all. Yeah. Yours is in the middle. We're trying to get in there at the same time. And then Franklin's, like, aw. Oh, my God. Yeah. Let me lick the bottom. I gotta lick the bottom. Yeah.

But if you're licking the bottom, then Franklin can't reach the top. No, I can't reach the top. Look at this. Here, let me cradle the bottom. I'll just lick it down here. Jesus Christ. There's room for you in here. Just come around the back. Jesus Christ. What are you? What? Sean, what are you talking about? Yeah. Okay. This is a parrot walking by going, Jesus fucking Christ. But as you guys are walking through trying to three-way eat this ice cream cone through the dark corridor.

You're walking through the dark corridors that lead to Candyland. You're watching. Also, we're, like, we didn't take towels and we're just wearing our, like, we're soaking wet. We're soaking, shivering and eating ice cream. And Franklin wears, you know, small kid Speedos. Yeah. It's just like. We look insane. Fenton's vampire makeup is rubbing. Oh, yeah. My emo makeup's all over. Dripping down his swim shirt. Franklin's starting to wear emo makeup. Oh, so we're all walking around.

We look insane. Yeah. Yeah. Little raccoon face. All my eye makeup is catched in my little mustache. Yeah. Very dark. And as you're walking, you almost walk into it. Squeaky, squeak, squeak, squeaky, squeak. A rat? A cart. Like, just a little push cart that you would put, like, buffet meats on. A trap. It's pushed into the corridor. Who's there? You turn around and behind you, a, seems like a melting face. Oh, my God. What? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Ghoul eyes.

Hi, Spoutlorians, Abdullah here, just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Speltmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. So I think what we're looking at is a clock situation. Borbo's dad is convinced, you know what I mean? Convinced that Borbo's a good guy.

But convinced Borbo's a good guy within the realm of this fabrication that you have concocted. The overarching convincing is that his father needs to give him a longer leash on his life. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Basically get off his back. His dad's too controlling. Yeah. Yeah. So this is Sway, and you guys are lying about this, right? You're basically creating an even sadder sob story. We're embellishing. And he leans back on the circular couch that rings the thing and kicks a leg over his knee.

So kids, tell me, how did you first come to meet my boy? A sordid tale it was, our history. We will start from the beginning. Yes. Clover, you take the beginning part. Absolutely. I will. Because it comes. It comes. Easy to me. So yeah, Clover stands up like she's giving a speech. She's like, I don't know. We clink our glasses. Cling, cling, cling, cling, cling, cling. I once grew up with a father and a mother, as one often does start out with. And my mother died when I was very young.

I missed her very much, and so did my father. But one day, my father said, my heart has healed and I am ready for a new love. And he married me. And he married my stepmother, who at the time I thought, this is okay. But she turned out to be quite evil. She thought… Shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush. Rattle the table a little bit. We're doing sound design for you. As I grew older, I began to look like my mother, who was once considered the fairest in all the land.

And my stepmother grew jealous. And she would visit the mirror, a magic mirror. And she said, every day, magic mirror. And she said, every day, magic mirror. And she said, every day, magic mirror. And she said, every day, magic mirror. And she said, every day, magic mirror. And she said, every day, magic mirror. Who is the fairest one of all. When I turned 12. Jesus. This is like last year? Yeah. This year? Yeah. Next year? Until a few weeks ago when I turned 12. Uh-oh.

The magic mirror replied, Clover is the fairest one of all. And stepmother grew angry and she threw me from the house and there I was alone in the cold, dark forest. And I ran. I ran so long and I was so scared and sad and I felt the shadows of my past following me until I found solace amongst many short beings smaller than me. And I point at Fenton mostly. Yeah, totally. Franklin's taller. Hello. And they invited me to live in their home and it was a mess.

And so I helped them but I couldn't do it alone. It was too much. And then dear Borbo, he thought, well, these children need a hand. These small people need a hand. Anyway, sir, that's my story. Yeah. I can attest to the truth of that. Her stepmother was very hot. And Borbo like nervously takes a sip from his drink. All right. What about you? My story is one of revolution. Okay. It was 1792. The king had recently been assassinated and I was on the streets of the High Spear.

And I was la miserable. Yeah. I was so miserable. It was crazy. So sad. And there was an inspector. Who had it in for me. Her name was Tina Durger. She was desperate to capture me for I had stolen a series of French buns. They were the softest buns in the land. And I had pinched those buns. They were so hot. She was very cross with me. She was so cross. And so I ran. I ran so far away. I ran and I ran all night and day, but I could not get away.

And so it was the Tina Durger, the terrible and obsessive police officer found me wrapped up in these buns and captured me and took me to the, took me to be killed. And there I was, with my head in a noose about to drop just a little boy of eight. And then, and then from out of nowhere, an arrow pierced the rope and Borba came out and he said, this kid's eight. What the fuck are you doing? You're not allowed to hang an eight year old for stealing buns, no matter how hot and soft. They are.

And how much they want to be pinched. And so I was saved by Borba, the most valiant social worker in the land with his historic and legendary bow. You guys start clapping. Okay. Got to say, son, this is sounding pretty impressive. Thank you. Oh, you're talking. You're talking to my son. Okay. Sorry. Yeah. What about, uh, I am also a son. So it is confusing when you say that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What about you?

Uh, well, I mean, the story starts like any other with a woman and her roommate, just living out their lives, doing what they do, going out for drinks, trying to pick up people. People. Living their lives, working, living, laughing, loving, laughing, drinking, loving, smoking. Didn't have any direction in her life. Didn't think anything was going to happen.

And then one day, a mysterious stranger shows up in her life and just threw a huge stranger wrench into her life, changing her life upside down, turning her life inside out in virtually a day. That stranger, claimed to be from the future and said he was here to stop an evil man from coming and said that that woman's life was in danger. That woman was my mother.

That man came back from the future to stop that woman from dying from an evil robot that was sent back in time to kill that woman before I was even born. That man was Borbo. Borbo was a robot. Borbo was a robot. Borbo was a robot. Borbo was a robot. Borbo became my stepdad from the end. That woman was that woman. And then he's like, can I fucking talk to you for a second? That Borbo fucked the shit out of my mind. And gave birth to me, the leader of the resistance in the future.

Until the world is bombed on October 17th, 2011. When all goes, down, man, the leaves, the children will fly and bark like leaves. And he's got his hand up on the window. Yeah. Borbo's like, hey kids, maybe I think that milk might've been doing something to your tummies. Maybe go to the bathroom real quick. And he's not wrong. Yeah. We all gladly go to the bathroom. It smells like sour milk in here. But because of all this, you still got your role in this is a sway.

Who's leading the group action? I'll lead the group action. Okay. There's a woman. Thank you.

Hi, Spoutlorians, Abdul here, just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Speltmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. Okay, so I just want to be clear. You're proposing a job, and that job is steal the loose change from a movie theater. I think so. Okay, all right.

I don't know. I honestly can't see a single reason why that is a bad idea. There's garbage. There's candy. There's popcorn. Fucking sign me up. Yeah. So you're going to the movie theater. We're going to stop by the movie theater on the way. Yes. Great. To just, you know, see what the vibe is under those seats. Maybe that's just for breakfast today. Popcorn and drop Milk Duds closets.

I think a thing is happening right now among the players where we're imagining the treasure trove of candy and popcorn. And we want to go to this imaginary place and see if it's actually there. I honestly keep imagining real life me seeing a toonie on the ground and being like, fuck yeah. So many seats I've found so much money in. Everybody leaves popcorn there. They do. Sometimes in the bag. Yeah. I never even thought of that. Yeah. Bag popcorn. Oh my God. Talk about fiber.

I could finally have a hard shit. You know what? You guys have really talked me into this. You're going to roll an engagement roll. This is where we're about a half hour into the episode. This is the job you're doing. Yeah. So you have worked yourself into an actual job. We were just stopping for breakfast. Yeah. And then we got really overly involved in it. And now it's kind of in the way. Yeah. And now it's kind of in the way. And now it's kind of in the way. And now it's kind of in the way.

And now it's kind of in the way. And now it's kind of in the way. Interesting. Okay. It's kind of funny that this is like our first season two. It's great. So we were like, okay, we got to talk to the Humberstone twins. We have no money, but first we got to stop at the movie. But that's like what kids would do. They're like. They would climb into. We totally lost the steam engine and just start pulling levers until the train is barreling down the tracks. Yeah. Okay. So here we are.

We're at the fucking engagement roll somehow. Yeah. In this movie theater before it opens. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So one person is rolling two dice or two people are rolling one die. I'll roll. Great. Okay. All right. I have terrible luck. Go for it. Okay. Someone else. No, go for it. You look so apprehensive. You're going to change that around right now. Let's do it. Yeah. We're going to get. You always roll the virginity die. I don't know why. Yeah. Two sixes. Two and a three. Bad result.

You are in a desperate position when the action starts. Jessica's pissed. Because you always. Always roll those problem. Yeah. I've rolled literally every pair of dice. Not these ones. Okay. Here. Give me those ones. If I roll these ones and I get two sixes, that's the one we're taking. Nope. Well, why'd you throw them like that? Well, that one is a six. Well, it's too bad you rolled it after you rolled the actual engagement roll. Sorry. I looked at you like that. How did you look at him?

So mad at me. That hurt me. I got a side glance of it. She's so mad at me for having bad luck. I'm sorry. Bad luck? Oh, man. I want to show our listeners that look, but I don't want anyone else to have to get it. I know it's a bad look. That's so funny. Yeah, but I had an older sister, so I can deal with that. Yeah. Fuck you. So what movie is it that you guys go into first? It's a great movie. Thank you.