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And uh a few weeks after the show you're all chilling in the sugar shack and you hear hey hey get out here cool tree kids get out here barbo barbo barbo and he comes up and his hands are like in knife position he's like what's up what's going on someone's calling us out oh yeah and he gets up and he stumbles a little bit out of his hammock because his legs are like healing but he's still a little sore okay okay give me a second just give me a second kids and he goes outside wait I want to put a bandana on you there oh all right thank you a bandana around your the rest of your face with just your eyes cool here pull one of these boxing gloves on just one just one does this look intimidating and he's standing there in his shorts in his security crop top with two bandanas on his face and a boxing glove on his left hand and then fenton uh he draws abs over top of uh barbo's ass just gotta like naturally uh accentuate the abs contour okay oh are you guys gonna come with me or am I just gonna go there by myself I will wait here yeah we'll wait back here okay uh and he goes outside and as he's walking out he's like what the fuck is up and he walks out the door whoa and then a couple a couple seconds later he comes back in covered head to toe and eggnog and he's like they mean business the nogs so you go outside and there are like a dozen at least wild nogs here with their leader at the front on his uh you know those like banana seat bikes that are kind of like uh yeah like harleys yeah and they all have those um nog canisters on the back and yeah their leader at the front he's got a jean jacket and long blonde hair and the beginnings of a wispy teenager mustache oh it's so intimidating yeah no oh my god yeah and this is you've seen this kid around uh this is saddler triumph oh and he's smoking a real cigarette oh yeah and he looks like he's gonna throw up because he's when he's when he sucks in the smoke he chews it in his mouth because he thinks that's what you have to do um oh god I love to smoke a cigarette burps in a big cloud of smoke comes out I want to come out behind borbillo on my bike and in like the handles I've stuffed incense and I've lit them so it's like smoke oh fuck yeah what do you guys want funny you should ask uh I think it's time that you and your uh cool treat nerds start to learn to pay a little bit of respect to some of the gangs around here and I'm gonna go ahead and do that so if you're coming here huh if only there was a respectable gang around here it's on the ground in front of them spit boys and they all go and don't spit at us we spit at you and the pendant goes spit everybody's bad spit boy spit harder and it goes on for fifteen minutes and everybody's got a dry phone runs inside grabs a jug of water and brings a no fry cool tickets there's adults passing by just be like whoa widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz a widz a şu like what the fuck somebody gets a drip on their head looks up spitting dribbles in their face mall security walks by in this like because it's kind of a semi-abandoned part of the mall right on their patrol and they're just like what the I just imagine a janitor comes up because they've got the call and they're just waiting with their fucking waiting off to the side floor side got that kids spitting all over the floor uh and yeah creamy nog spit gross yeah they're all uh re-nogging after the spitting's done it's so slippery now so what do you think kids you're gonna pay up or are we gonna have a problem here I don't know if you think a problem is shoving it up your ass is this how it's gonna be yeah you know it yeah you're not gonna get shit from us you little dick piece of shit whoa whose little kid is this he's our little kid and we're the only good gang around here well all right okay look I didn't want it to have to be this way but I hope nothing bad happens to your shop and I hope nothing bad happens to your bikes and then fenton pulls his little wiener out and pisses on one of the bikes all right this is like the kid once you say that you're a little dick piece of shit you're a little dick piece of shit I hope nothing happens to your bikes they all stand up straight off their bikes and the kid that you start peeing just pushes you to the ground oh shit I can't stop oh my god I jump in and deck them oh yeah yeah all right knuckle in the face roll up what is it fight what's it called scrap something skirmish oh skirmish yeah okay so this is going to be um you're in a controlled position because uh he's distracted pushing franklin over friend fenton over it's a little savage uh I roll over and I'm like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die just one because I don't I have skirmish yeah skirmish and prowess yeah yeah so you're rolling two and take the higher yeah and this is a um this is just risky three three's my highest number all right we don't send them yeah that's not good uh so you hit this kid describe how you hit this kid and he walks up when he pushes fenton over and then he steps on his uh right foot and then pushes him you know when you do that thing steps on his right foot and pushes him into his friends and all the bikes with like dominoes through them and they fall their own spit.

Yeah. They're slipping in the spit and Fenton still pissing. He really had to go when they showed up and all their nog you got me. All their nog canisters hit the ground and start spilling. So there's nog spit and piss everywhere and that janitor is crying. I knew this day would come and after 10 minutes of slipping and sliding the wild dogs get up and Sadler Triumph goes boys.

Let's get out of here, but you haven't seen the last of the wild nogs and then he does a he tries to do a wheelie on his bike and it skids in the nog and the spit and the piss and then they start riding away and Borbo goes. So you guys decided to do the piss thing. Yeah, you're more for like intimidation factor. Cool, cool, cool, cool. We do a flashback to when we're talking about different ways to deal with a large group and they're the top of the list. It says the piss thing. The piss thing.

So step one, Fenton starts pissing on something to make them mad. Step two, Franklin does that move. There's a diagram of Franklin stepping on somebody's foot and pushing them. Yeah, and then Borbo Borbo was after, but we were like, sorry, it was finished before then. Clover's drawn a little rat with a tinsel neck down the corner of the chalkboard. He's part of the piss plan. You guys all come back inside and you're like all went according to play. This is why we practice guys.

I'll do this more often. Okay, so yeah, wild nogs not going well with them.

Uh and clover you see you see seamus and the hot meat boys walking down the aisle kind of far away from you but seamus is you know catching a glimpse at you every once in a while hey guys there's seamus is he looking at me yes yeah what does he look like does he look sad yeah I mean yeah he actually does oh really yeah he looks kind of pensive like he's thinking really hard harder than he's maybe ever thought before looking at the ground a lot and looking at you he's clenching a a tube of diarrhea yogurt and he hasn't had any of it it's just oozing out all over his hand I like that uh fenton calls it diarrhea yogurt not realizing that he is lactose intolerant yeah he thinks that everybody gets diarrhea when they eat yogurt he loves those yogurts so weird he usually eats them really fast I mean like just when I do see him not that I like used to like look from far away or anything uh anyway we put I put my hand on and clover's hand yeah and I'm like clover you don't have to lie to us if you're having a bad night you could just say you're having a bad night okay I was just I was just trying to be strong you know you are strong yeah there's a lot of strength and weakness too especially when you get to do it around your chest and um and um and um and um and um and um and um and um and um and um and um and um and um and um and like maybe if I'd worn something like mindy he would have been so ashamed uh and as you say I should have worn something like mindy you get bopped in the side of the head by her parasol she's trying to close it I'm so sorry somebody behind her's like down in front close your fucking umbrella who the fuck brings an umbrella to a goddamn concert we're in a mall you idiot somebody's yelling at your date franklin hey why don't you shut up why don't you shut up close your stupid parasol you get down here and close the parasol why don't you get up here and tell tell me if you've closed the parasol yet hold my diarrhea to yogurt and he starts climbing over the thing oh my god all right he's fired up get up to who's yelling it's uh it's one of the wild nogs oh oh and they all all of them are have the shirts off and each one has a different letter my alchemical there's romance there's a shit ton of them he gets up he didn't know it's like you see he's got it yeah one of them's got like a c on his chest and you're like why and then you see the rest of the letters and you're like oh fuck it's a reveal where they all from the central c take off their shirts it's just from the letter c fills in my alchemical romance I guess we would see this happen as franklin's halfway up climbing up the rose so we're like fuck and the guy in front is he's flexing his tiny little like 13 year old bicep and he's got a drawing that he drew with markers of a pig drinking eggnog and he's like what do you want I want you to just relax and take back what you said to my date roll this will be risky standard three that's a failure wait is this suspicion clock still going oh yeah shit yeah so you've still got you've got three ticks left on suspicion I mean like this could just be that franklin is going to be a failure I'm not going to making trouble so security is becoming more aware.

That makes sense. Yeah. Okay. So I'm going to take two to unless you resist it. You can always resist it and make it one take instead. It's going to cost two stress. You've only got one stress too. Yeah. I could take some stress for this. Okay. Okay. So I'll only fill in one tick. You're two ticks away from security catching wise that you guys are up to something. So they just get each other's face and they're doing it quietly and darting their eyes to security.

And some of the other wild dogs are like, shut the fuck up. Shut up. Get back to your seat. And security's like, hey, hey. You see so close. And as you guys hear hey, and you look over and you see a crisp button down security shirt with a badge that looks homemade and you see the embroidery, the poor embroidery of a hawk. Oh, no. Oh, no. And you just see the back of the shirt and you see two thumbs pointing down at the hawk. And I slink down below the people that are in front of the wild dog.

This is basically a movie theater. Just so sticky. There's nobody that cleans up. Actually, yeah, there's not enough staff in the mall to keep this place clean. It's basically just ancient cruft like this stuff has been here for hundreds of years. You actually find a coin that looks ancient. Cool. Pick it up. It crumbles to dust in your hand. I'm going to erase that you blow as you're watching. You blow and a tile reveals ancient writings that reveal a prophecy. It crumbles to dust.

Oh, so close to prophecy. Finding more stuff. You see a hole in the ground and you go over it and there's an echoing chamber and you hear release me. And then a piece of gum falls in the hole and seals it up. Damn it. Just. I think it was the hole. It was a tiny little hole that you put your ear to and you could hear the howling winds of a deep, dark cave. A buried kingdom. Oh my God. This is awesome. So cool. Under the amphitheater.

We forget to talk about this is a fantasy world and that you're in an ancient wizard built facility. Yeah. What was the high spear ball before the high spear is a wizard tower that was used for things that we have never examined.

There's also a wizard built chocolate factory that has since broken down, but the mall itself from what we've all been able to tell has always been a place of like commerce because remember there are those like they don't work anymore, but like the floating elevators, right? That kind of move around. So, you know, I'm not sure. Over time, as we reached this like kind of post apocalypse, people came to live in the mall because it was safe. Yeah. So Franklin, you slink back down.

You see Danny, the hawk to Berna. All he did to get you guys to quiet down was point at the hawk that he's embroidered on the back of his shirt and you see him whip around and he goes, that's right. You see his mustache freshly combed. And like little eagles wings. Oh, yeah. It looked like a little. Yeah. This guy. I respect him. I respect him and how much I don't respect him knows even his comb over is intimidating. Wow. Yeah.

So you come back down and you see the wild knocks are like giving you the eyes, but they shut up. I flip him a bird. You get 24 pairs of hands coming up to flip you the birds wide eyed and many is like thanks for standing up for me. Franklin anything for you, Mindy. I mean, I don't know. It's not that I can't. It's not like I care really, but thank you. Thank you. You're welcome.

And she, uh, she does that thing where she kind of like crawls her hand over to you and she, she tries to hold your hand.

And all yeah all that's left to do is for you guys to go to the concert yeah so you um you head to the auditorium which is called the coxburgh hawthorne memorial auditorium and outside everybody who's anybody is here tonight who's here like it seems like the majority of the kids in the mall are all here uh some are wearing like my alchemical romance t-shirts some are dressed very fashionably in a way that is out of place because they just want to be seen here but don't actually know anything about the band um some people seem like they're really excited about a different band oh oh like the open yeah they're really psyched about like the opening act cool uh and oh they're like yeah the super super hip kids are like they're older kids yeah exactly there's like the teenagers are here too there's a few adults but not that many cool uh and security is like letting everybody in so there's that slow like flow of bodies into the coxburgh hawthorne memorial auditorium sick and the entrance to the auditorium is in like a lofty area with a glass roof like many areas of the mall and all you guys can do is wait for your dates where did you say you were going to meet near the front there's a few groups waiting for meeting people before they get in the line nice so we're there okay well there's somebody there scalping tickets for sure oh totally it's uh it's the rat man a rat man the rat man he's like yes I'm the scout man to no no um I'm I'm still rat man but I have tickets I'm gonna go over the rat man guys I'll be right back in two seconds don't do it no don't do it guys I'll be fine don't do you have any money to spend on you no he doesn't okay I don't have any money it doesn't matter I'm just gonna go talk to the rat man okay hello I'll repeat the customer hello hey rat man how you doing ah the rat man how's your sciatica thank you for asking my uh left pinky toe has been numb for some time now well I you know what you just keep doing those stretches that the physio told you to do and I think you'll you know you'll lick it and then you'll you'll get back to competitive speed walking and no you're not you're not you're not you're not you're not you're not you're not you're not you're not you're not you're not you're not you're not you're not you're not you're not thank you fenton you've always been my best friend and supporter I mean um thank you the rat man appreciates the confidence that you have in me there's depth launched here tonight anyways would you like a ticket oh I know we got all the tickets we need ah what are you selling them for um one rat for two and two rats for three wait what you're selling tickets for rats yeah how do you think my economy works God I'm still so confused This guy walks up and says I'll take two rats Hands him a ticket He's so confused He's getting tickets and rats And trading them to sickly I just like to trade and sell And be in the crowd Yeah and he reaches into his coat and pulls out two squirming rats And hands them to the guy and takes the ticket And puts it where the rats were The guy's like sick Guys I got him And he's got a group of friends away They're like yeah It's a two rat kind of night And they high five each other How old are these people Like 30's What is happening And unless you stop him the rat man Wanders away into the crowd And people keep bringing him tickets and rats But Clover you see Seamus She's drinking her juice And she's like hi It has spilled out You gotta stop drinking juice Clover Clover I already fixed the problem Here you go How do I look You look pretty good actually Sick You always look great bud Oh thanks bud Okay I'm gonna walk up now Just look normal She's like doing weird stuff to her eyebrows And like trying to look cool But she's kind of jutting out her head too far So she's like coming at Seamus like a little monster Goose Neck stuck out arms back Yeah Hello Yeah Hi Hey Seamus The diaper sound of duct tape all over your body Yeah you hear it Just It's great It's great plastic And Seamus turns around And for a second you're like Oh my god Yeah He looks incredible Life stops for a moment While I gaze at his perfection Yeah he's got Jeans with wide legs So wide He could fit three of his legs in those legs And Around that he's got A studded belt with a chain That goes from one of the belt loops to his pocket So cool What's at the end of that chain?

Who knows? Mystery He's got a white tank top on And over that tank top A silk over shirt Whoa Fistooned with an image And suspenders Yeah suspenders as well This shirt Fistooned with a brightly colored image Of a dragon Oh my gosh Of a style that you have not seen before Oh my gosh Oh my gosh It's so exotic So cool From what land does this shirt hail? Who knows?

He's got a thin metal chain around his neck His hair is gelled up It looks kind of spiky and crispy But in a way that lets you know That he is not going to let that hair go anywhere No He is in full command of that hair And that shirt Like what a worldly person So well traveled And well read Is the answer to that question That's the only way You can't wear a shirt with a dragon on it Without reading Can you roll 1d6 for me?

This is a fortune roll I actually have I have a theory Four You realize As you are watching Seamus Like my god He's so beautiful It's not until you are within like A few meters That you realize he is standing With his friends Oh And he turns around And he looks really nervous To say hi to you And he looks really high for a second

All right yeah what's your plan for asking out people to this dance it's gonna be hard we can do it we can do it you can do it mindy is probably totally in love with you so I wouldn't worry about it at all yeah definitely yeah what was the last thing you said to her like what was the last thing you guys did I burped okay that works yeah I mean it shows you that you're a man we were at the roller rink oh that's nice yeah were you guys there together no okay no we were both at a roller rink yeah how close were you guys when you burped oh uh I mean she skated by and said hi franklin's nice to see you can't wait until it's swimming season again and then I went to say hi and I I just burped horribly you was having bergam fruit um soda swamp water and it was not good I think I got some spittle on her she fell over I knocked her over on her roller skates did you help her up I was so scared I burped and ran um I saw somebody else pick her up though I'm sure that she was okay but I couldn't do it that's fucking hilarious did you help her up of course I thought about doing it but I left instead uh okay so franklin's gonna ask out mindy yeah okay you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you

And now we enter downtime we got to unwind from the holiday season charles eve has passed sundip has passed what have the cool tree kids been up to in terms of downtime activities and also lifetime activities uh one of the charles eve the after charles eve uh traditions is going around and taking the tinsel out of all the cat's asses as they can't pass it through their system all the way god I'm so sorry you have to wear a rubber glove and you just hold on it and and then they walk away you look away how the fuck did we get this fucking job this sucks I'm sorry just grin and pinch that's what the cool treat kids did for days after you just somebody from the mall showed up at the sugar shack and was like hey kids bad news well it's because they pay because it's they pay for tinsel so there's somebody out there who we and then we wash it in a vat and we sell it back to this guy it's like oh just like selling copper wire clover was doing it for free she loves cats are you fucking serious we've been doing this for fucking free I love it I'll do it anytime I like paul's thing that like you nobody asked you to do it you collect it to set to wash it and sell it back to somebody like oh yeah like tin cans that's why we have all those steel drums that's what we were using the fucking don't get the barrels mixed up the clean tinsel and the dirty tinsel oh man that's why fenton was stuck because he was like oh no I mixed them up I gotta separate them all I better get in there and smell the barrel dirty tinsel and the clean tinsel oh so gross it's almost impossible to tell the difference between these I fucking swear to god turns out the clean tinsel is dirty tinsel well because this has been going on for literally decades like people have been washing the tinsel and selling it back to this one dude who sells all the tinsel in the mall during the holidays smoky yeah smoky the tinsel guy and he's got one of these voices because he smokes a lot who's who did that one yeah so that's from so smoky is from jansen oh yeah thank you for jansen for that name or thanks jansen smoky proprietor of tinsel town so should we tell people what we're doing here yeah oh this is this is one of the things that can happen if you join our patreon at the very fine chef level you can suggest a name for an npc or a place and maybe it gets into the show so yeah smoky proprietor of tinsel town courtesy of jansen thank you jansen what's up kids I'm smoky hey thanks for all the tinsel I really appreciate he's got big fat cigar in his mouth no problem you pay more for the clean tinsel right because we spent so much fucking time on this it depends where'd you get the dirty stuff from well these cats and I point a bunch of cats they came with the cats are eating the tinsel so yeah they're like where are you going with all that tinsel oh they follow me because I have like bags of treats nice I'm like yeah good boy but because you're keeping them around we've had to do our jobs like three times because they keep fucking eating the tinsel you know what I'll pay you more for the clean stuff if you make sure those cats get the hell out of here I'm allergic to cats well maybe you'll pay us a little bit more and we won't leave that's what I said right now right yeah sorry fuck don't here's a here's a piece of advice kid don't try and shake somebody down with information they just gave you sorry smoky we won't do it again no it's okay I like you kids I like your ego and he gives you a little handful of spear bucks and maybe you give us a couple more spear bucks or else we'll leave these cats behind I don't think you know how shaking people down works the first rule is don't try and shake down people four times your size smoky's huge tall and wide he's got a big fat cigar and a little mustache and he's got a big fat mustache and a little mustache and a little mustache and a little mustache and he's got a he's got a tuxedo that doesn't fit very well so that his dickie is sticking up because he's too big and it's too small can you believe this tuxedo still fits me I wear this to my prom um sorry this is perfect someone uh paul not that one said suggested dick hotman if you need a suave gentleman npc there you go yeah you have a brother his yeah his brother's name's dick hotman make sure you see my brother dick on the way out okay what does he have to give us just directions on how to get out of here because there's a lot of smoke in this place my eyes are really red right now and maybe if you give us a couple extra spear bucks we'll not leave his cats behind yeah I can't find my cats they're all lost in the smoke I lean over a clover I I grab her her shirt and I'm like I think I'm fucking allergic to these cats I don't know what's going on we need to get the fuck out of here okay come on let's go let's go I can't see my eyes are swollen I take his hand and put it on the back of my uh headband and in the uh in the uh distance you hear this way children the exit is over here is that you mr hotman that is me dick hotman come over here children allow me to lead you out of this establishment my brother has filled with smoke I mean okay I trust him and you come over and he is uh he is really short and skinny and his tuxedo is way too big who does your laundry we share clothes we have been the same size roughly since birth as we are two twin brothers and he's smoking a really long thin cigarette in a holder thanks not that paul for uh for dick hotman dick hotman and jansen for the twin brothers all right so now we have these spirit bugs how many do we get uh let's say 10 cool sick I'm washing my eyes out under the water fountain I'm in the water fountain just a just a public water fountain yeah oh like a water fountain yeah not a drink drinking I stumbled away to the wrong kind of fountain clover's like man let's go to the fountain and fenn's like good idea yeah you just you see him climb up the stairs and he's like I'm in the water fountain and he's like side and tumbling oh yeah that's the stuff guys it's so much cleaner in here than most of our water and isn't fenn's hair really curly so you get in the water and it's just like afterwards it sucks up all the moisture that's how curly hair works right not really no okay wait so it's just plastic it's longer yeah oh my god you see how long fenton's hair actually is because this is the first oh my god bath he's had in a year he looks beautiful gorgeous I get it I get it it's that thing kiss me and I'm like whipping my hair back and forth and then I put I put it in front of me and I like whip it back like I'm in a panty and pro v commercial and you whip it too hard and fall backwards into the fountain again whoa it's down like to my butt basically so long wow you you you a a a a a

I'm going to put on a Charles Eve sweater and I'm going to slick my hair over so I look good for the photo. Fenton really just wants the photo. Yeah, that's cute. And Borbo comes out after dadding himself up and he's got khaki shorts that go above the knee. They're pleated. Pleated khaki shorts that are like way above the knee. He's got socks pulled up to midway in his calf. Black socks. Yeah. No, I was thinking white socks. White socks? With like shitty running shoes on them. Yeah.

Polo shirt, wraparound sunglasses, a mustache that's gray. And a hat that he got in a box of alcohol. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It says like Amber Mead in like really stylish font. Yeah. And he has a weird looking contraption and a holster on his belt. What the fuck is that? Don't worry about it, bro. And now comes the engagement role. You've got your plan and now we got to see how you pull off the beginning. So is this operation particular? Is this operation particularly bold or daring? No.

Stealing a man? It's kind of bold. I don't think we've ever done that. Just drugging Santa Claus. And putting him in a bag and trying to sneak him out of a hideout of the barbecue cake. Bold at least. Okay. So yeah. Plus one die. Does the plan's detail expose a vulnerability of the target or hit them where they're weakest? No. I don't think so. Okay. Okay. Can any of your friends or contacts provide aid or insight for this operation? Yeah. Borbo. Yeah. Borbo. So that's two.

The Barbecue Kings are a higher tier than you. They are a higher tier. So we'll maybe take one away for that. No. It's just because they're going to be more prepared for this kind of stuff. Okay. Fuck. But you also get one base. So that's what you got for engagement role. So we need to get a six? So basically how it works is it's like up to one to three. The failure would be the first role you're going to do is desperate. Four to five, it will be risky. And on a six, it'll be controlled. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Here we go. Yes. Oh. Yes. There you go. So what this tells me is that Borbo pulls off the meeting without a hitch. He goes to the cave. He's like, hey, what's up? I got my kids here and I'm ready for… We made a little appointment for a little certain thing happening in a little certain basement. And he's like winking a lot at this guy. He tips down his wraparound sunglass and is like, can I help a dad out? And we try and help him sell it. Yeah. We're trying to be his shitty kids.

Yeah. Yeah. So what does that look like? I am just like kicking at whatever signpost is there. Yeah. It's clanging away. Yeah. What is Franklin's shitty kid look like? He's like rolling his eyes at his dad, just really making him try and feel lame. Again, like apologizing behind him, being like, like they have a jerk out hand gesture. Yeah. Just like looking at him like, fuck this guy. You're the cool team. You're the cool team.

You're just like embarrassed anytime your dad has to talk to anybody. Yeah. Cool. Great. What is Fenton's shitty kid look like? He's got a chocolate bar that he's eating. He's even though he is eating right now. He's like, can we go get burritos after this? And so with all this happening around him, Borba was looking at the, at the attendant, like, look, my, my wife's really got my beans under a brick. You got to help me. Holy fuck. And then Fenton's like, I don't know.

I don't want beans on my burrito. I don't want beans. And the attendance like, very well, sir. Come, come, come with me.

And you see the various incredibly gaudy restaurants of the barbecue kings laid out before you. And there's like girls in front of each of them with trays that are like, hey, try our thing. Come inside. Yeah. Mini sliders. Wearing togas, like animal print. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. One arm things. I kind of want that to be like one restaurant's thing. Like it's definitely still cave theme, but one of them, maybe the biggest one is like. The cave. Yeah, the cave. And it's caveman themed.

And then there are other restaurants that are other themed, semi-casual family style. Oh, the man cave isn't just one restaurant. That's what it's kind of like a food court of restaurants. You know, when you're like at the airport and there's like the section of like, you can eat here. Yeah. But it's probably near another food court of other restaurants. Yeah, totally. And this is all of the slightly out of fashion now. Sit down family style, semi-casual. Can you all describe one?

That's what I was about to ask. I'm so glad Jessica's got an idea, I think. So Jessica, go first. Oh, Earl's. It's just Earl's? It's just exactly the same as our university. Yeah, but it's, yeah. They serve things like shrimp scampi and then like Baja fish tacos. And the dad is named Earl. Yeah, of course. Of course. Run by Earl. What are the girls outside giving out samples look like? Oh, they are wearing. Just like black mini dresses. And they have a lot of makeup on. Great. Oh my God.

Does Fenton have a crush? Yeah, Fenton and Franklin are just staring. We're like, Clover, why don't you do that to your face? I don't know. I could ask them how. Please do. Excuse me, ladies. They're not really sure how to, they're not really trained to deal with kids. Only trained to squeeze tips out of sad old men. So they're like, hi there. Hi, you guys look really pretty. And the waitress that you're talking to is just like, oh, thank you. Aren't you the cutest little thing? Thanks. Thanks.

How do you make your face like that? Like my friend, Fenton. Fenton said, why don't I look like that? And I was like, good question. Why don't I, how do I, how do I do things like with the lines on my eyes and make my mouth colorful? Gotcha. And the waitress that you're talking to is just like, uh, uh, why, why, why do you, why would you want to look at your beautiful, lovely lavender hair? Oh, thank you. Actually, I don't know why I would want colorful lips other than maybe it's just fun.

And okay. Fenton walks up at that point and he's like, uh, Hey there ladies. I just wanted to say that you're both looking quite lovely today. And as I noticed that a lot of the other men in this area are given lovely ladies money. Here's my money. You give them what? A wad of like four spear books. Uh, we can't, we can't accept. Tips like this little boy. But the way you look makes me want to give you more. No, keep this for yourself. Uh, little girl, you know, makeup is a fun thing.

People can choose to wear makeup if they want to. Uh, and there are plenty of places in the mall that would be more than happy to help you look however you want to look. You also, you don't have to, you don't have to wear makeup to be pretty. Fenton's trying to, he's really trying to give him money. I have to slap your hand. Stop there. He said, no, you can't force people. Take money. And I bet it's just like, I don't know what's going on in my head. I can't stop giving them money.

Just put it in your pocket. And he goes to put it in his pocket and just like, Oh, I can't fold back. I go, wow. Here we go again. I take the money. I'll be holding on. I'll hold on to it.

Charles Eve, okay. Feeling good. Mariah Carey. Okay, or not. No, I did remember Mariah Carey again. We'll be better at it the second time. There is just one thing I need. It's Seamus. Of course, no surprise. I just want you to kiss me. All you would ever know is my love. Pretty good. Seamus, all I want for Christmas. Charles Eve. Charles Eve is you. Barbara's going nuts. All I need to do is dance right. Then I can get all the respect I couldn't get from my real parents.

Because they died and abandoned me. I just think it's a good time to put your worries aside and celebrate. A bowl of meatballs in a bigger bowl of Pepto Bismol. And the best. Best thing about the holidays of Christmas Eve. Let's wait for the next verse. Is when. No, not yet. Okay, wait. Barbara's like, okay, dude, just slow down. Slow down. Barbara's correcting us. Now. Best thing about Charles Eve. Is when you get your Christmas treats. Thrown into the front window. Of your house.

And it is fun. And walk on broken glass to get your gifts. And cut your feet up bad. But that's okay. Because in the gifts there is alcohol swabs and band-aids. And that was. And when we get extra stuff. We will eat the meatballs. Because Charles Eve is about meatballs. Food. And that's you. Barbo. What is up you kids? It's time for Charles Eve. You don't have to worry about Charles getting in here. I'm gonna stop that guy. This thing ends tonight. I'm gonna kick the fucking shit out of Charles.

You're gonna stop that guy. You're gonna stop that guy. He goes into like a hard guitar riff. He drops his guitar. Picks up a guitar. An electric guitar. Oh man. It's alright. You better watch your ass. Charles I'm gonna be nearby. If you fuck with these kids. Charles you're gonna have to deal with me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.

Kneeling we're on one we're all on one knee and like pointing at borblow that's a borblow grew up wondering like how come nobody ever fucking stops this guy you the shot pans out and you can see that we are caroling at different stores just making yeah that was that was the opening montage of this episode of spout more Mall Brats how you doing everybody I'm your game master show Sean O'Hara and playing fenton beasley the slide Abdul Aziz hello playing franklin stein the cutter Paul Oppers hey and playing clover ivy fern the whisper jessica tie hi

So I need to spend a stress to do a flashback. Ooh. Okay. Cool. All right. Tell me about the flashback. So he's buying a bunch of rats. Okay. Wait, buying? Rats are free. That's what Franklin and Clover tell Fenton after the fact. Everybody buys a bunch of rats. They're free, dummy. They're everywhere. Look at, I got all these rats for only 15 coin. 15 coin. Can I take all the spear bucks? I take all the spear bucks. Yeah, there's nine spear bucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know a rat guy.

You got a guy. What about Dwat has a friend? Oh, yeah. The rat guy. Dwat's the snake guy. He knows a rat guy, though. Dwat, you know a rat guy, right? Yeah, I know a rat guy. Where is he? In the abandoned cheese factory. Yeah, they're near the cheese factory. The old cheese factory. This conversation's happening while Dwat's head is poked out of the tent. Yeah. He's right. He's really sweaty. His hair's all matted. His beard's, like, been braided and clipped into his hair.

What is happening in there? Yeah, it's just good to get it out of the way sometimes. Oh, God. Anyways, you know where the cheese factory is, right? Or was, I suppose. Yeah, it's in the collapsed part of the mall, right? Yeah, it's in the collapsed part of the mall. Okay, yeah, I'm going to go there. Charles' cheese. Charles' cheese. Charles' cheese collapsed on Charles Eve. And then Dwat goes, okay, well, I'll see you later.

And he's very careful to make sure you can't see anything between the flaps of the tent as he closes it around his face. You hear this. Ooh. And a little giggle. And you're going to a different part of the mall that we've never been to that's collapsed. Yes. Cool. And so you're going to a place that is called Charles' cheese or the old cheese factory. But it's not a factory factory. It's like a restaurant. It's like a restaurant that used to serve cheese-based things.

But it's been since collapsed and empty. So you enter this cheese factory and it's dark. There's light coming in from like skylights that have fallen down at weird angles. So there's beams of light cutting across this dark and dusty restaurant. Hello. Skitter, skitter, skitter. I'm looking for the rat man. Rat man. Oh, you're looking for the rat man, are you? Are you? And it like echoes around the room. And it's like, I guess he's like trying to turn around, but he's still on his bike.

He's trying to get his bike. He's picking it up and doing that like skitter in a circle thing. Looking for the rat man, huh? I'm trying to find the rat man. The rats are looking for you as well. Skitter, skitter, skitter. Rat man, I want to buy some rats from you. You want to buy some rats, do you? Just fucking stop doing this. I just want to buy some rats. He doesn't know who you are. He doesn't trust you. Oh. Rat man. I'm the rat man. I live with the rats. What? Can I do a consort? Yeah.

But I mean, literally, if you would just tell him who you were, who sent you here, it might help. Okay. I'm Fenton from the Cool Tree Kids. And I was sent here by God himself. What the fuck? Fenton. Rats. It's weird. Fenton's very weird. Rats know no God. Rat God. The God of Rats. Rats, rats, rats, rats, rats.

And you walk back to town. The sun continues to rise in the sky. It's still pretty early in the morning. And you get back to the edge of Lone Tree Hill. And as you're walking through the main road, passing pretty close to the barn where Billy was illegally sleeping, you hear, there they are. There he is. And there's a group of halflings at old Bill's farm. And they run over to you. Oh, no. Hide behind Fred Lee and Chip.

And Bill has his pitchfork and his little floppy straw hat and his overalls that are hanging off one shoulder. Whoa. Chip jumps out front. And he goes, there he is. There's that little scamp, Billy. He's the one what stole the cow. What? I didn't steal a cow. Watch where you're pointing that thing. And Fred Lee takes a sharpened stick out of his own pocket. And he's like, it wasn't Billy who stole your fucking cow. Well, Billy was sleeping in my barn this morning.

He must have been staking out the cow. And then the second I turned my back, he grabbed her reins and he scampered off into the woods. He's been with us the whole time. Oh, well, maybe that means you've been with him the whole time. And the halflings are like, oh, no, they wouldn't. Accomplices, accomplices. What the fuck? How am I supposed to steal the cow? I have tried so many times to steal the cow. And I have never succeeded. So you admit it. You want to steal. The cow. Okay.

Who doesn't want to steal the cow? Everyone. Every hand in town shoots up in the air. Sorry. Really? Martha, I overheard you saying that you wish you own Daisy. Well, of course I wish I own Daisy. She's beautiful. Yeah. So and you were saying like, boy, quotes word for word. If if Bill wasn't such a nosy little shit, I would take Daisy right under his big fat nose. You roll two to six plus to his mouth. Eight. Fuck. Yes. Bill says, Martha, is it true? And Martha stammers a bit.

And Martha goes, no, it's not true. He's trying to so discontent within the town. And I want to back Billy up. So I go and I heard a big I'm over there. Say that he was sleeping with Martha. Yeah. Up in the stakes. Significantly. Wow. Two to six plus charisma. Yeah. Okay. It's a plus one. Three. Huge swing. Wild. Incredible. Miss. And Bill jabs his pitchfork in your direction. He's quite far away. And he goes, quiet, friendly. Everybody knows your parents. Potatoes are of poor quality.

Hey, you leave his parents out of this. And he turns to the rest of the town's people, the town's halflings. And he says, folks, our beloved cow cow has gone missing on the eve of Charles Eve Eve. And if we don't get that cow back before Charles Eve Eve, then we're not going to be able to have our traditional. Charles Eve feast. A big. And you hear people going, we won't be able to make the balls. We're going to be ball. Less. We're going to have the balls.

We're going to be ballers on Charles Eve. What about the bowl of communal cream that we all sip from fruit with long straws simultaneously? Everybody in town at the same time. If I don't get my cream, this Charles Eve, I'm going to lose my fucking mind. Cool it. Dina. Dina was a halfling this whole time. Yeah. Maybe she's just there. Yeah. Dina is towering over the rest of the town. She's six times taller than everybody here.

And old Bill turns around and he says, Billy, if that cow isn't back in my paddock by Charles Eve Eve, that's the final straw. We're running you out of town for the last time. You're going to be eating your words, old man. We'll see about that, kids. We'll see. Yeah. His face is so red. Yeah. And he throws his floppy little straw hat on the ground. He stalks back into his farmhouse. The townsfolk cross their arms and look at you in discontent before dispersing.

And as they disperse, Fred Lee goes, yeah, that's right. You better run. And he does a bunch of karate moves. Chip goes and gets that straw hat. Puts it on. Yeah. You'd run away, you big chick. And you as you yell that you see Milborg and Mildred and they look you right in the eye, Chip. And they shake their heads.