Patreon Bonus: Mall Brats Season 4, Episode 1
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The horrors of war know no rest…..except for during recess, lunch and after 5pm.
[Content Warning: Boyfriends, Babysitters, The Triumph of the Human Spirit]
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Spout Lore is a hilarious Actual Play podcast using the Dungeon World game system, brought to life by four award-winning comedians in Canada: Abdul Aziz, Paul Oppers, Shawn O’Hara, and Jessica Tai.
If you’re looking for a collaborative storytelling experience that balances high fantasy with side-splitting improv comedy, you’ve found it.
Join three “mighty” “heroes” (Tuk the Barbarian, Vyng the half-elf Druid, and Fat Billie the nine-year-old Halfling Thief) as they bumble through a post-magic world.
This is a rules-light, character-driven journey where the setting is made up on the fly; evolving from ancient hotdog-based festivals to mythic beasts of terrible power.
Whether you’re a TTRPG veteran or a fan of D&D comedy podcasts like The Adventure Zone, NADDPOD, or Dimension 20, you’ll feel right at home at our table.
Spout Lore is improvised narrative at its best: made FOR best friends, BY best friends!
Show transcript (autogenerated by Apple Podcasts) ▾
Hi Spellorians, Abdul here, just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Spellmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes.
So, they're getting outfitted, and they're piling up, and you see that it looks like they're trying to get a battering ram of people to push through your barricade. And just as they're talking to each other and making a plan, a bell goes off, and everybody stands up. You go, it's five o'clock, guys. We got to stop. We got to stop for the day. One balloon. We know. We're stopping. We're stopping. And it's a security guard who's coming. It's Millie. Millie.
Millie comes in and goes, All right, everybody. That's enough. That's enough war for today. The janitor who was always cleaning up our spit. We got to clean up. That's enough war. Okay. I said no more. That's fair again. Thanks. I cannot do the whistle. I wish I could. I wish I could. The shot changes to a wide, like when we were fighting the wild nogs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
He's been standing there the whole time. He's been waiting. Yeah. He's been looking at the big clock that hangs over this part of the mall. He's like, and from this adult person's perspective, you're just hearing like the rattle of the shopping. Oh, stop it. Oh, splat, splat. Not fair. Not fair. I had a shield. I had a shield up. You hit me first. You hit me first. I'm not talking. Stop it. Yourself. Stop it. Stop it. Yourself. And these are peeing yourself. Stop peeing yourself.
These are about two days ago into the war. Two days into the war. We're two days in. Oh my God. You all received, both sides received a communique from the food court laying out what the rules and regulations are for war for the kid gang. Whoa, that's, that's sick. No cursing is underlined. No cuss. No cussing. You're not allowed to cuss. That's flipping ridiculous.
No one can be done any lasting physical harm okay you can only use non-lethal it says on the thing non-lethal weapons only we had to consult a dictionary what that meant I know what lethal means what does none what is non-me it specifically underneath that says somebody make sure clover ivy fern is told non-lethal force check your candy specifically there's a there's recess as well like they've put in recess breaks because like there's a nap there's a 10 a.m you can't start fighting until 10 a.m there's lunch at one and then you have to be done by five and it gets all the the rich kids out of school too yeah yeah it's like they're at an away game yeah yeah yeah yeah millie has shown up to tell you that it's all done for the day everybody gets pushed away and you are given a reprieve so now the the candy land lines are given a temporary reprieve for the day as kids start packing up and cleaning up and zipping up their pants and stuff hard yeah ken burns's civil war yeah it's just like fading in and out franklin's writing in a diary with a tiny short pencil way under a red light oh writing a letter to uh to mindy oh yeah yeah my dearest mini the front lines were hot battled against the barricades were long the piss was dark today our line stands true unbroken as my love to you falls from afar peppering my days of war with light and love oh I hope you haven't found another man in these loads two days where I wish to see your face again I hope upon the morrow when this bloody war is over we can meet again on the broken shores of the queso rio do you need me to keep doing this yes I'm singing stanley's doing a great job today ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I think your scrunchie is so cool.
Yours eternally. Everlasting. From the front lines. Okay, come on, man. To wherever you are. Frank on style. DDR. All right, I'll see you tomorrow, Frank. LTD. MDBBR. SDBM. P-S-I-L-U. P-S-I-L-U. P-P-S-D-U-L-O-B-E. Check yes or no. Check Y or N. T-T-Y-L. And Millie goes, all right, letters, letters. He's got letters. That's great. Yeah. All right, kids. I'll see you tomorrow. Have fun. And you guys, we can. This was basically just an extended intro. No, I want it. So good. So good.
But yeah, so Candyland is now in like the rebuilding phase. So kids are trying to replenish the barricades and. © transcript Emily Beynon