Episode 11 – Three Sheets to the Wind

Okay, let's do the theme tune. Yeah. I can't put my phone. Let's just do it with our mouths and do the Pirates of the Caribbean theme. That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen. So it would seem. Welcome to Spout Lore, everybody. We've been watching Pirates of the Caribbean memes, and we're ready to play a game of Dungeon World. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara, captain of this here podcasting vessel. And to my left, first mate Abdul Aziz playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian. Hey.

And straight in front of me, first mate playing Ving, the half-elf, druid Paul Oppers. Hello. And first mate Jessica Tai playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief. Yes. So I thought you were going to say more. Nope, that was it.

And when we last left our heroes, they had successfully, quote unquote, stolen the aimless wanderer from Pier One through a series of very hectic events, including a jailbreak, swimming through a pier, finding gunpowder, accidentally pouring it out on the ground, hiding in a tiny barrel, dressing like a hunchback, and calling upon the powers of the winds themselves to steal a vessel, which has taken them out to sea.

And now wind, the spirit of wind that has helped you, does not want to give up control of the ship. And that is where we find ourselves now, on the deck of a pitching ship at sea. Ving is in control. Well, Ving was steering the ship until a moment ago. And Billy and Tuck have been watching, it would seem. And also doing the Pirates of the Caribbean theme. And stomping our feet and slapping our legs. Yeah. To give Ving moral support. Yeah. Is this helping?

This is helping a lot, but use some physical support as well. All right, let's do it. And we go up and we start rubbing his back and going, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Better, better. Thank you. Billy's just rubbing like his calf. Yeah, I'm rubbing the calves. So yeah. Ving starts going, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Please don't sue us, Walt Disney Company. Please don't sue us. Oh, wait, please do sue us. Yeah, we would love that publicity.

So yeah, Ving, what do you do? I drop the sails. Yeah, so you just run up and cut the line or whatever? No, no, I'm holding on the ropes. Yeah, and just untie everything. Yeah. Just let them fall. Okay. Yeah, so the sails all flutter down. It's sort of like an emergency thing where you just cut them all and they fall down onto the deck. And the ship is like skidding basically. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. With the residual energy from the wind.

And you feel the air start swirling around the deck, like fluttering your clothes and knocking things over. And Ving, you hear, this was not the deal. And wind is like whipping around harder and harder. Holy shit. Yeah, Billy, you're starting to like get lifted up a little bit off the ground. Billy language. Sorry, I just felt a barf in my mouth. And I didn't know how to keep it down. Ving, what do you do? Wind is perturbed. What is… Yeah, what does wind want? Yeah, what is…

What do wind want? The price was I get to take this ship and I get to sail around. And now you have robbed me of that. I mean, I guess I can talk to it. You sure can. We will… We owe you. Don't worry, you'll get your chance. Wind, you are the master here. We are but your sail servants. And you feel the wind get stronger and stronger as it whips around the deck. And you feel the ship start to creak back and forth. Well, these are pretty sturdy ships. These are pretty sturdy. Right?

Creaking more and more. It can handle a lot of wind, right? But not maybe capital W wind. And the deck starts pitching pretty aggressively side to side. So wind is like, what do you offer? What if we ride it out? Okay, we'll ride it out. To try and like sail this… Appease the wind. Like how long does this guy want to blow around for? You know what? That kind of makes sense. It's fleeting. Wind is fleeting. Yeah, wind would like kind of like blow us around. Yeah.

For a while and then like get bored with us. That's true. You know what guys? Tuck in for a sail. We're going for a rep. All right. I grabbed some of the ropes and I tie myself to the big mast. Not what I meant, but it looks cool. I'm not taking any chances over here. Yeah. Wind starts dragging the ship around. How is Tuck strapping in? I guess I'm helping Vig. I'm like… Yeah. I'm helping him like raise the sails again. Okay. I'm being… I'm not telling him what to do.

I'm showing him what to do so that he can sail. Yeah. And wind is now… Wind is starting to push the ship around in like… It's almost playing with the boat. Like you're saying, wind is fleeting and it's having a pretty good time and it starts pulling itself and the ship back towards the dock, like closer into the bay because it sees all these other ships with all these other sails that it could also have fun with. Oh, no. So it's like you're getting closer.

You're starting to go back towards Crystal Bay. There's less wind to be had in the bay. Can I parlay with wind? Absolutely. I will parlay with the wind. Shit. Four. Okay. So yeah, what happens is the ship start… The wind starts pushing you further into the bay and getting closer and closer to all the ships that are docked. And wind says like, you're no fun. There are further winds for me. And starts like blowing into the sails of all the ships in the bay.

And all of these start picking up and moving out of the bay. And you feel the wind in your sails like billow out as you're coasting like off to the side, basically just to the wards of the shore and all that like a handful, maybe a dozen boats of different sizes in the bay start picking up and being pushed out into the bay as you're left and you hear people shouting and screaming and people falling off of decks and stuff like that. But wind has left you for more fun times. Cool. Go ships. Yep.

And now the ships are leaving and there's a huge commotion in the bay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are we on the left side of the bay or are we near the pirates? If you're facing Crystal Bay, yeah, you're actually moving towards more the beach where the pirate cave is. Nice. Yeah. How do we get there? You're just moving towards like you're pointed at the beach being flung in that direction. Well, can we drop anchor? Well, I guess we could drop anchor. Yeah, you could. Or?

I was, I literally didn't even think of that. I was just like, hell yeah, we're just going to deliver it right to their doorstep. Yeah, exactly. Not like, oh, we're going to deliver it right to their doorstep. Oh, no. So yeah, what do you guys do? We know very little about sailing. Yeah. So what do you do? Well, yeah, do I think we do it. Bing does. We drop anchor. Okay. Yeah. Get the anchor. Sure. I untie myself and then I run to the anchor and I try to lift it.

So you run up and there's like a little latch at the bottom of this. A column with handles on the top. Yeah. And you run up and you just stomp on it and it goes click and the sail goes ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh, that's easier than I thought it was. I thought I had to lift it up. Never would Billy be able to do that. So you drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop.

And you hear it hit the bottom and the whole boat as it was going pretty fast when you dropped anchor just goes hold on tight. Boom. And Billy tumbles into something. Into the rails. Into the rails and roll the D6. One. Billy bonks his head and takes one damage. And you guys roll defy danger. Dexterity? Dexterity if you're just trying to keep your footing. Strength if you're holding onto something. Okay. Strength onto the wheel. Seven. Yeah. I'm not close.

I'm just kind of in the middle of the deck. Like a fucking ding-a-ling. Yeah, totally. Goes limp. I'm literally just like looking around being like, wow, the ocean is beautiful. Seven plus dexterity? Yeah. Is seven. Yeah. Okay. So Ving, you got what? I got seven as well. Okay, great. So yeah, just each of you roll a D6. Nothing too bad. Four. Oh my God. Three. Ving, you're thrown bodily into the wheel. Thing's in rough shape. I'm in really rough shape. How many hit points do you have left? Four.

Left? That's it? Yeah. You hear like your sternum like . Oh man. And Tuck, so how much damage did Tuck take? Two. Two. So he's just standing in the middle of the deck like, wow, this is crazy. And then the anchor catches and the boat lurches and he's just right on his face, like from standing to laying down in a second. Oh. But that's where you're at. Your boat is now anchored just off the bay. Cool. And there's a huge commotion going on at the docks. So yeah, what do you do?

We get in that little skiff and we go towards the cave. But before we go, should we like get rid of all of the markers that like would be like, hey, this is the aimless wanderer that we just stole? Oh yeah. Good. Wow. Great question. I mean, there's the fat centaur on top. The sails are all centaur-y. But we drop the sails. Yeah. And then what if we just smash the centaur up front? Yeah, I was thinking that. You could definitely do that. Yeah. Fuck it up a little bit.

Is that what Tuck is going to do? Yeah. It feels like. A Tuck move? Yeah. Okay. So yeah, I defy danger strength, I guess. 10. Yeah. That's a good one. I'm going to say 10. Yeah. That makes sense. So what does Tuck do? He just takes his ax and he smashes the centaur off the front of the ship. And it just tumbles down, sploosh, into the water. Whoa. A big, solid metal, really well rendered statue of the centaur. Hey, you got to spend money to make money. Yeah. That's what he says into the ocean.

And what are you doing with the name? Are you just hacking at the wood on the side? Yeah. I guess I'll just scrape at it. Can we change it? Can we change it into something else? Yeah. What can we change it into? What do you guys rename the boat? So it's called the aimless wanderer. Yeah. Lameless. Well, yeah, we could definitely make aimless just less. Uh-huh. Less dander. Yeah. I like that. Less dander. All right. Beautiful. Yeah. I'm leaning over this side and I'm like, less dander? Yeah.

Try that. Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Oh, great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Fat billy and the boys tacoma dome and ving the half elf druid oh god I'm sorry it's okay you don't have to bring race into it oh you're right yeah we have explained to billy multiple times not to do accents to people's faces do it behind their back I'm sorry where we can all laugh at it just seems like they might like me more if I do their accent yeah and he kind of does you know the guy comes out he's got a little punch on him he's like ah you be you little one yes I love your voice and he scoops you up why thank you and then I look at you guys like see it's like I I take it your job has been a success we have heard many rumblings from the decks we point to the aimless wanderer right in their bay my word the less dead a ship I have not heard of but one that we are more than more than happy to excuse me hey sorry is ruby home yes thank you come on in boys takes you into the caves and ruby is um not on her throne she's in like a a workout room doing vocal warm-up yeah she's singing and she's got her sword she's doing like sword forms and also singing some mccollan song and it's very so I'm gonna go ahead and do that and then we'll see you in a minute stylish the more practical fighters amongst you realize this might not be the most effective fighting style but it's certainly pretty it looks a lot like stage combat yeah you see like people rush at her from the edges of the room and she goes and they go whoa and then she does that classic lady sword fighter in an action movie thing where she goes and points the sword down at the ground and looks over her shoulder at you she goes ah I see you have returned oh I see you see us she looks at us and there's like a pause where we're just like and she smiles and she wipes a little sweat off her head and she grabs a a water bottle pops the top spray some in her mouth throws it on the ground have you been successful in returning my vessel to me yeah yeah yes were there any complications along the way yes there was a bunch so many complications along the way there was a bunch of complications along the way there was a bunch of so many problems.

You made us steal a fucking boat. We're pirates now. You were pirates. This is how piracy began. Theft begets theft begets adventure, my friends. And the cosmetics? Oh. Oh. Fuck. You're gonna have to get those yourself. We cannot go back there. They know our faces and our names. I can tell you which hidey hole it's in, but I cannot take you there. That's not bad. That's not a bad compromise. She sheathes her sword and throws it on a bench. She goes, that was not our accord.

I thought it was, if you can get the cosmetics, get the cosmetics. I don't think I would agree to something so foolish. I think you did, though. Either way, we didn't get the makeup, for Christ's sake. Yeah. But you returned the ship. And you can just get more makeup. It will take many moons to replenish our stores. We will have to disappear many more spa workers from the Emerald. That will be difficult in itself.

But I suppose, with a ship in my employ once more, my work will be somewhat easier. Though, thanks to you, not at all. Excuse me? We got the boat back to you. We did all the hard work and embarrassed ourselves. Look at Tuck's face. Am I ugly now, for some reason? You're covered in shit. Did I become ugly somehow? Tuck's getting really self-conscious about this. Do not feel too bad about yourself. Beauty is a subjective quality. That's something you say to ugly people.

Why is everyone treating me ugly now? Tuck, you're a very good friend. You're so generous. And you seem like you are very fit. What? What is happening? What changed? Nevertheless, our deal is half done. Which means that I will do half of your task for you. Our agreement was? We will steal the ship and slash, or the cosmetics. And you get our friend Allison out of Crystal Bay. Secretly. Hmm. What do we think? What's her halfway? Half of Allison. You pick top or bottom, left or right.

That's psychotic. She thinks for a moment, and then she's like, I will do this for you. Out of the goodness of my heart, for fellow warriors, fellow peoples of the world, we will transport your friend. We need time to ensure that our vessel is seaworthy and that the heat dies down, as it were. I've heard many tales from the docks and the piers. Customs officer Jack Boot is on your tail.

That is not something that I wish to dip myself into, so in two days' time, we will take your friend from these shores. Thank you. Sounds good. In exchange for spiriting your friend from these shores into safety, six months' service as part of my crew. Six months? Six months? Service? Jesus fuck. We've actually never had a real job. Yeah. Wait, six months doing the same thing? Jesus Christ. But half a year? That's like my whole life. The traditional service is three years.

Oh my god, I'll be dead by then. That seems like a lot. Maybe like two weeks? Your time for negotiating has long passed. No. Feels like we're negotiating. We're still here. Where are we going? Where I will. How about you and I? Square off. Mono a mono. And if you win, we'll do the full six-month stint. And if we win, we'll do a cool easy two weeks where we don't have to do much hard labor. Kind of like a sort of a summer camp sort of a situation.

Yeah, where we do fun activities and we have afternoon naps and then we go for our morning swims. And we, you know, kind of like… You guys kind of take care of most of the cooking. It's like a workcation. Yeah, and we don't do much cleaning because we also don't make a lot of mess. It's kind of like a live-work kind of thing. You stay out of our way, we'll stay out of yours. And you'll kind of show us around. You can show us the ropes, but we don't touch the ropes. Yeah. Unbelievable. Okay.

You gotta roll a parlay. Oh yeah, that's a parlay. Fuck me. Okay. This is eight. Two charisma's two. Damn. Okay, she… She agrees. She's like, single combat is the way of pirate law. Many a decision has been made at the edge of a blade. Do we have to use blades or can we just do open? No, yeah. She doesn't want to kill you. She doesn't want you to kill her. What if she has those practice sticks? Oh, training staff. Oh yeah, totally. Hell yes. Yeah, yeah. Bow staff. Sure.

Classic Robin Hood and Lil Jon. I think that you can agree that both of us is much more valuable living than dead. Yes. So this will not be a fight to the death. Preferably not. Perhaps a fight… Especially because if you kill me, I can't serve six months on your ship. Yes, and if you kill me, I'm dead. And that sounds awful for me. It's not that bad. And she walks over. She's very, very like saunters over to a rack of weapons. And she quickly grabs two staffs and she throws one to you.

I catch it. Oh, I thought it hit you in the back of the head. Yeah. She walks over and walks over to the rack and you turn around like, I'm going to fight her. And as you turn around, she throws it at you. Bang. Ow. And you see like a short little pirate that's in the room, like one of her guards run out and then you hear him go, Morpheus! Morpheus! Morpheus! Morpheus! Morpheus! Morpheus! Neo! And everybody runs back.

And the room starts filling up with other Crystal Bay pirates like, oh my God, they're going to fight. Oh my God, he's going to fight Ruby. Oh my God, nobody's fought Ruby in years. No one dares to fight Ruby. They're all getting in my way. So I'm like trying to get to the front. So I'm like, I can't see. It's a lot of calves. You're climbing up Milton. Milton, get over here. You dumb little bitch. Okay, so I like, I take off all my gear. Like I take off my little backpack and I throw it to Bay.

And then I take my axe and I throw it at Billy. And I take off my loincloth and I throw it to Milton. That's such a dumb joke. No, it's great. And I, yeah, I get into like a fighting stance. Are you nude right now? Yes. Okay, everybody's like, oh. And I'm like, I hope you don't mind. I fight better nude. I hope you don't mind. I will be clothed. And she twirls her staff very impressively. Oh, like does one to the side behind the back.

And she does that cool, like leader of the parade thing where she throws it up in the air a little bit. It goes, poof, catches it with one hand. I look at these guys and I'm like, fuck. He helicopters his dick. So upsetting. She looks away like, come on. This is my art. And Billy looks at Ving. Oh, I was just saying like, oh, he's fucked. Language, Billy. Billy started taking bets from like. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. People are like, there's money changing hands right now. There's a huge hubbub.

Yeah. I'm going to have to bet for Ruby. Holy shit. Cold blooded. Billy, you piece of shit. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to get us as much money as we can. That is demoralizing. Like everybody's seeing how huge Tuck is, but the odds on Tuck winning are still like three to one. Okay, I'm going to bet. Place bets for both. Cover your odds. I want to do this. How much are we betting? Well, I don't think I have money. Oh, okay. So you're betting. Hold on.

You're just betting things Billy has in his backpack. Yeah, exactly. Okay. We have lots of money. No, I'm betting things I have. Okay. Billy, sometimes he goes in his pocket and he picks up weird shit. I bet this feather on Ruby. And then I bet these three purple rocks on Tuck. And Milton's like, okay, so if Ruby wins, you get two feathers. Yes. And if Tuck wins. You get six, nine, nine purple rocks. Six rocks. Can you do math? No. How much did you? I put three purple rocks.

And three to one means that you get three times your bet back. Oh, I didn't know that. It's okay. You're small. Any other bets? Any other bets? Yeah, I got 20 bucks on the big guy. Okay. Thanks, buddy. And that means a lot to me that you bet on me. And Ruby's like, betting is now closed. The fight begins. And she starts, like, circling. Okay. I want to use war cry. When you enter the battle with a show of force, roll plus charisma. On a 10 plus, you get both of these effects.

On a seven to nine, you only get one. Your allies are rallied and take plus one forward. And your enemies feel fear and act accordingly. Okay. Two to six plus charisma. Six plus. Two is eight. Okay, cool. So you got a partial success. So you get one of those. My enemies feel fear. Okay. So what is Tuck's war cry? And what's the show of force that he… Like, you have to do something like, I'm crazy. So it's the kind of thing where there's mirrors on one side of the room.

Like, as there is in a standard dance studio. And I was like… Thank you for setting that up. I'm like, blood feet rules. I run at the mirrors. And I run up the wall, smash the mirrors. And I try and kick off to land. And I'm like, I'm gonna get on my feet. Uh-huh. You don't have to roll for that. Defy Danger Dexterity? No, you did. This is the war cry. This is your show of force. Okay. So I kick off the walls. And then I land in, like, the superhero crouch. The Iron Man three-point landing?

Yeah, totally. It is technically four points because your dick is touching the ground. Great. Everybody scatters out of the way as you run towards the mirror. And you do this flip and Ruby's just… Just standing there with the staff in her hands like, oh, boy. So now she's, like, demoralized. She's like, this guy's dangerous. I have to be careful. Yeah. And he likes blood feet, which is objectively shitty music. Yeah. She's heard blood feet. She's like, they're bad. They're really bad. Okay.

So yeah, roll your hack and slash. 11. Roll your damage. Two. So she's holding back. She walks backwards a few steps. She's kind of keeping you as far away as she can right now. Mm-hmm. Making little jabs as you come at her. But what do you do? I do, like, kind of like… Samurai run in. Mm-hmm. And since it's kind of, like, the first hit, I'm, like, testing her reaction time. So I charge her using my intimidation advantage that I have. Yeah. As I run past, I smack her on the back of the calves.

Oh, yeah. To, like, try and buckle her knees. Yeah. And you hit her in one of her legs, like, in the back of one of her knees. And she goes down, but she turns it into a roll and, like, rolls up and then gets back on her feet and jumps around. But she's like, fuck, that hurt. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, is there anybody that bet on Ruby now that they've seen Tuck, like, thunder across the room?

Like, when Tuck charges, I imagine it's very scary. Yeah. Because it's just like, boom, boom, boom. You can hear people being like, what was it, three to one on him? Oh, fuck. Yes. So what's going on with Billy while he's watching this? Well, I'm really excited because I'm looking at my feather like, can't wait to get some more. And Milton's like, oh, Billy, you might want to get ready to make some room for some more rocks. This guy's pretty scary. No, I don't care about the rocks.

I'm really interested in the feather. Okay. And what's Bing doing? He's just like, screaming, we're going to be rich, bitch. 60 more coins to our huge pile of coins. It's going to be amazing. Okay. Roll your hack and slash. Holy shit. Oh, boy. Whoa. What? Critical. 12 plus two is 14. Yeah. Roll your damage. Seven. Oh, boy. So what I do on this one is it's another charge. And I faint like I'm going to do like kind of the same move again. But I instead like go slide on my knees.

And then after I pass her, I kind of like turn around and get up and kick her in the bag while doing a air guitar riff on the practice. What a fucking loser. This is so cute. The one thing that she does do because she's really fast. So as you kick her, she realizes that you're trying to get behind her again because that's what you did the first time. Yeah. So she like is able to get face forward. But you kick her. She's like right in the like torso. Holy shit.

And she does that slide where she's got both her feet on the ground, but she slides backwards like six feet. Holy. She's just like. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Are you okay? And actually, I think she takes that like as you're as you sort of do this thing like, oh, are you all right? As you've done this thing, she just darts forward and gives you a crack on the cheek. You don't take any damage because it's just like she. I want to. Oh, do you want to take her full damage? Yeah. What is her damage?

It's 2d 10. Holy shit. It's more just like, boom, stop pitying me and fight. Okay. But she is in like a bad way. Holy shit. Yeah. Okay. Do you want to do one more? Yeah. And now you now that you know how much damage she does, you're like. Yeah. Now I'm intimidated. That was duel is intimidated. Yeah. I felt her hit me and I like I saw her form and I was like, Jesus. Fuck. That hurt. That hurt. She is insane. Yeah. So. Yeah. 2d 6 plus strength. Eight plus two is 10. Yeah. Okay. Roll your damage.

So what I do here is I know that she's like her left hand is fucked because she keeps doing fucking blood oaths. That's true. And she can only use her right hand. So I use that to my advantage. I charge an attack like only on the left. So she has to do a lot of cross body blocks. And then as she's doing. That like I move in close and I just bury my fist into her gut. Yeah. Yeah. Six. You like lift her off the ground. You hit her and she just goes.

And you feel the air just push out of her body and she hits the ground and she has got her staff holding her up and she holds up a hand. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. And she's like gripping her staff with both hands after you high five her. It was her left hand so she didn't really feel it. It's pretty dead. But she picks herself up and she's like. I know a powerful warrior when I see one and I bow to your ability.

As do I and I, I like kneel down and I put the staff behind my back and I give her like a kneeling bow. Okay. Yeah.

Like my queen ultimately like I know that if she wanted us all dead she could so it's like a sign of respect yeah yeah and she's trying to be cool because the flip side of that is that a ruler who leads by force was just obliterated in front of almost her entire crew yeah and I kind of know that so I like I have to yeah like I don't want to be a pirate king yeah so I have to like basically like uh pay respect yeah uh so she you're kneeling on the ground and she kneels down and she takes a small knife off of her belt and she um puts her hand like on the side of your face and what how do these guys react you two are watching this happen it feels like I'm about to be fucking murdered yeah wait I do the thing like my arms come up like ready to grab knives yeah like like a gunslinger yeah he's getting his hands near his belt oh ving jumps into the middle oh so you like enter the ring yeah somebody put like another crew member puts their hand on their on your shoulders and it's like it's it's fine this will be over quickly and she puts a hand on the side of your face and it's like you are now part of this crew as part of this family we fight together we sail together we bleed together and she gives you a quick gash right on the side of your face what the fuck oh that looks really ugly oh small one the shapeshifter uh approach do I have to yes okay if you are if you are bold enough to be a pirate you are bold enough to be initiated I walk and my chest is puffed my breath is held and she uh can't get down to billy's eye level but she gets close enough puts a hand to the side of his face and gives him a smaller cut it's just a small little paper cut basically but it's still bleeds it hurts so much just the shapeshifter I lean in she gives you a cut on the cheek you barely even felt it like water like seawater comes out he's crying uh and now tuck is greg the three of you now have like matching like cuts underneath your left eye like uh kind of horizontal slashes thanks you are now pirates sailors warriors from now on you are now pirates now until eternity I thought we agreed on two weeks until like a fortnight it's a couple weeks really that's all we need to be pirates for yeah until your inevitable burial at sea this is for two weeks you will be members of this crew temporarily until you breathe your last and bleed your last but that probably won't happen now rise and we stand up I stand up I rise and my hand is delicately you are now crystal bay pirates and the whole crew is like and they all gather in and there's like yeah and it's a night of much carousing tuck you're getting a lot of slaps on the back a lot of drinks handed to you throughout the night you guys all have a really great time with the crystal bay pirates there's much eating and drinking did we rest uh yeah you guys can sleep for the night oh and now you guys can heal up yeah so uh what's the rest move so do you heal all the way uh if you recover which is like a full day you heal all the way if you have like a like a few hours of uninterrupted sleep you equal uh you heal up to half okay yeah uh so yeah you wake up the next day in the barracks of the crystal bay pirates like in the cave comp well ving and billy you wake up in the barracks of the crystal bay pirates tuck you wake up next to ruby chun's day and she is asleep uh she was carousing pretty hard last night as well and is this something that tuck is aware of no I don't think he remembers anything oh my god scandal so he's just jumping to conclusions uh and yeah so that's your situation what do you do I I look at you and you're like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry Wow.

Can't sneak. I got four. Great. As you're walking towards the door, you hear your ex is over by the wash basin. Oh my God. And she's just like sitting in bed. It's that classic romantic comedy thing where like she's got the sheets pulled up really far, like up to her neck, even though nobody would, it's so uncomfortable to sit like that. And I turn around and I'm like, good morning. I was going to get you breakfast in bed. Tacoma, I don't care. Get your ex. Get out of here. Okay.

Also, don't tell anyone about this. Okay. Not because I'm embarrassed. I just kind of am. And also I have a crew to run and I don't want to have to execute people for gossiping. Fair enough. Well, thank you for. Don't. Okay. Please don't say thank you. Okay. You're welcome. She closes her eyes and she just gets up and starts to get dressed. Okay. I'm going to get out of here. Yeah. And Tuck sees her naked. This is for the first time. She's ripped. Yeah. And so hot.

And I'm like, yeah, her hair is not in. She has her hair usually in this really long dark braid. But right now it's like undone and it's just like super long. Okay. And I'm like, you look good. I'm like, I'm trying to find my loincloth pants on. Yeah. Boot on. Okay. I'm getting out of here. Boot on. Was it good? Vest. That was my first time. Jacket. Okay. I'm going to go stand up. I leave. And you enter this like twisting complex.

That's there's smokeless lanterns every few feet to keep things bright. There's an occasional natural hole in the ceiling. There's crystals embedded in the walls. I don't see any of that. I start running out. And I tried to find big and Billy. And I'm like, we got to go. I'm at the breakfast table. I'm like, why? And I have seven sausages in my hand. We're not going anywhere. Yeah. These guys eat well. Like there's like a whole like roast jackalope just on the table.

There's drinks and meats and vegetables. We got to get out of here. We got to get out of here. I did a bad thing. How bad? What are you talking about? I think I might have had sex with Ruby. Oh, Bing comes up for a high five. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I grab when he goes into high five. I grab his wrist. I start dragging him out of the. And as you're like walking towards the exit for this chamber, Milton, steps in, he's like morning. Move out of the way. Milton.

I grab his face and push it into the ground. Sorry, man. His plate of food just goes up in the air. Sausages flying through the air. I catch it in my shirt. I'm like, sorry, dad. I'll see you later. And what you guys are just leaving. Yeah. All right. I mean, you're walking through a whole complex. This is a lot of stuff you've never seen. I'm running. I need to get out. And you, if you're just running, you do get out. Okay. Yeah. You're out on the beach. What the heck? I don't know.

Do you guys, I don't remember anything. Do you remember what happened? Oh, well, they had lots of drinks and I couldn't have any. You guys said, so I just went and hung out by myself. The dog. There's a dog down there. Can we do a flashback to what Billy was doing with that dog? Yeah. What kind of dog is it? It's a really cute one. It's a, what's my favorite kind of dog? It's a key song. So it's really puffy. So puffy has really nice, like, like pointy ears. Yeah. Very friendly boy.

I had his ears in my hand. I was going, I was making them talk to each other. I was like, how are you? And this is me. And we're going to kiss the dog's ears. Kiss. Yeah. And the dog's just in your face. Like, yeah, like so happy. His name's Rupert. Yeah. Cut back to that. You're on the beach. It's sunset. Yeah. And, uh, it's like big. Do you remember anything?

I mean, I remember talking to the guy and then there was the, the, they brought out those funnels and then the barrels and you were, you were dance fighting with Ruby Tuesday. Cut to what thing was doing that night. Uh, he, he was, uh, building, um, a model of a ship with like a room full of other guys. And there's guys, um, um, and like one of those monocles things into a bottle and then like pulls a little string in the sails like bloop pop up. Clunking of it.

And then you're somewhere in the background going it's so small. And cut back to the beach and it's yeah it's sunset. You're just walking back towards Crystal Bay or running I guess. Yeah and I'm telling them I was like I woke up and I tried to sneak out and then she fucking saw me. Why are you trying to sneak out? I didn't. I think I might have lost my virginity last night. I was freaking out. Do you remember anything? Not a thing. What's the last thing you remember? Cut to.

And I am sitting with an even bigger keys hand and I'm like making his ears kiss. It's like basically the shot of Billy is the same but widened and it's Billy sitting there with the keys hand and then I'm sitting there with the big keys hand and I'm like we love each other. That's why we're ears. But you're wasted. Cut to you burst through the door of the penthouse. Yeah. The Emerald Emerald Hotel. Yeah. And Mears is like and he drops he drops a bottle of wine on the ground.

Hey where Mears where's Perel? I wasn't drinking it. What? It was just I was just I was gonna cook with it. I grabbed Mears his hand. I'm like it's fine. Mears. I was drinking it. Why? Because it's sunset and Crystal Bay baby. And then everyone realizes that he's been drinking wine for like a week. I thought that was like juice. It is technically at one time a juice. So Mears is drunk. Okay. I am comfortable with how I am right now. Do you want to go lay down? I do. Cool.

Eat here and I hand him some sausages. There's a woman. There's a woman. I haven't seen her in… How long have you guys been gone? I don't know, like a day? I haven't seen her in about a day. When Perel never came back? You know what? No, Perel never came back. That's probably fine. He's a wizard. Not supposed to say that. But he's… Wink, wink. Wizard. The wink's covered up, huh? He'll be fine. He'll be fine. I'm going to go lay down. Okay. And you hear zip.

It doesn't have a zipper, but you hear a zipper. And then zip. We got to fucking find Perel. Yeah. How do we do that? Can I close my eyes and try to reach for him? Because you know how we have that connection? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to commune with him somehow. He's been able to get a hold of him in the past. Yeah. Okay, cool. What would that be? I empty my pack until I find Chamberlain's ring. I put it on and then I sit on the ground. And I mentally try to reach Perel. Perel. Okay.

2d6 plus wisdom. This is basically a defy danger wisdom. Holy shit. 11, you guys. Yeah, Dan. Feeling wise. You feel… Billy, you feel a feeling that you haven't felt in many months. It's similar to the feeling you had in the pool before Ving died. Oh, yeah. You feel that sharpening of an energy inside you. Yeah. And it's focused on this little ring. Mm-hmm. But it's still taking a lot out of you to be like, ugh. That's okay. I ate a big breakfast. Yeah.

It's taking all the sausages in your stomach, all the hash browns. I knew I ate this way for a reason. You close your eyes. You think really, really hard. Mm-hmm. You feel out for Perel. That feeling that you got when he was like a magic ghost. And you make a connection. It's so tenuous, but you get like a feeling. And you get quick flashes of imagery. I feel like I'm touching him just barely. Oh, yeah. Like you're just brushing. Yeah. The sleeve of his robes. Yeah.

Which he hasn't been wearing for a while. But the sleeve of his diaper. Ew. Whatever he's wearing now. The diaper sleeve. Yeah. Yeah. And you feel anxiety. Not quite terror, but like, oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. And you get a flash of tense. Many, many tense of different colors and different qualities. And then you get a feeling of music and the smell of paint. Mm-hmm. And just a super intense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Coronetta is picking up more and more. Like there's even more people in the square than there was a few days ago. And there's more booths and more performers, jugglers, fire eaters, all that stuff. And you see, Billy, you notice that the colors that you saw on the tent are the same colors as the DeSomme Creek Theater Society's livery. Like they have a bunting along their stage.

That's the same color as the tents that you saw. Okay. Yeah. And there's no show right now, but there are a few Theater Society members milling around. There's the guy that was hammering up the stage. He's like a stage tech. And there's a few understudies reading from a script. But the show is like in between right now. Hey, are you me or him? And there's two twins. They're identical. Either of you, really? Both of you have both. Both of us.

If you want both of us, you're basically getting one of us. And if you want one of us, you're getting both of us. I smack both of them in the face. And they both like you slap one. His head smashes. And then you slap the other one. And they both go, ah, fucking just don't do this. Okay. We have questions. What? We're looking for a man who is both as tall. Like, well, you do it that tall. He's bald and he has glasses. Wearing a diaper. Wearing a diaper and a bathrobe.

He's got a real fucking nerdy vibe about him. It's like a little pretentious air. Yeah. But fun uncle mustache. Have you seen him? Or like a redheaded woman or both of them together. Oh, the redheaded woman. I think we've seen her. And they're both like, oh, to each other. And like, yes. Okay. Yes, we have seen them. Where are they? When? Why? Well, and now they get a little suspicious. They're our friends. We have their stuff in our hotel room. We need to check out.

And yeah, we only have till 11 and it's nine. Is it 30? I don't know. Billy's looking at where a watch would be. Yeah. If wristwatches existed in this world. He's just looking at his arm hairs and he's like, 930. Look, look at my arm. What if you wish them I'll? And that will be on our conscience. Yes, it will be on our conscience. That doesn't seem right. We don't. But they're our friends. Somebody's got to convince him somehow. Defy danger charisma. I show them the ring. Oh, yeah.

That I was wearing. I'm like, he gave me this. Aha. I can help out. Look at he gave all of us these rings. Yeah, totally. We all show up. Seven. Okay, great. So that gives it a partial success instead of a failure. So they're like, okay. He looks at Billy. You're a small boy. He looks at tuck and you seem like a simple fool. And you. You go on. I'm not really sure what your whole deal is, but I like the makeup. They're back at the they're back at the tents. They're at the camp.

They were in a bad way. They seemed stressed out. Oh, they requested somewhere to lay low for a few minutes. Maybe they were just having a hard time in a bar or something, but they're in the tents at the edge of town. Thank you. Okay, let's go. Let's head there. Yeah. And you push your way through the. The main square crowd. It thins out a little bit as you get out of the main square, because that's where most of the cool stuff is happening.

You pass some really nice restaurants, some less nice restaurants, some absolute dumps, and then you get to the edge of town and there's a big burst of color and activity as the the camp of the DeSom Creek Theater Society is laid out. There's the carts that you saw earlier, the really fancy ones, and then there's big, striped, colorful tents laid out all over the place. And there's just a bunch of absolute theater kids. And you're just like, what the fuck? Jesus.

This is the worst thing I've ever seen. Oh, my God. Are they being tortured? And the thing is, is that they all seem really. Sexually active. Gross. You can just smell it in the air. It's like a thick musk. That's the smell from my vision. Paint and musk. Yeah. Paint and BO. Covered with a thin sheen of Axe body spray. Yeah, there's tents all over the place. But Billy, you see the main tent that you saw in your vision. It's large. Yeah. It's narrow.

It's right next to a makeshift stable full of donkeys. Okay. And there's like a freshly painted set right next to it. You can see pictures like a set of trees and like a horse and stuff. And they're all drying in the. Oh, wait. That must have been the paint smell. Let's go over there. Yeah. So you go in and. Ask the donkeys. Oh, yeah. Totally. Have you seen a man wearing a diaper and a woman in a red dress, red hair? Oh, you better believe I've seen a man in a diaper.

I can see one of those in so long. But when I did, I said, Hey, Greg, you seen that man in a diaper. And what did you say, Greg? I said, I better believe that guy's in a diaper. It's pretty crazy. It looks like man's wear pants or clothes to cover legs. Most of the time. I'd love to wear clothes. You just wear a diaper. It seems like you're spitting in the face clothes. If you cut off a donkey, they get really offended. You just got to let him go. So what are you looking? When was that?

And where did they go? Oh, I spat. Sun said, I'd say. Yeah, it's a spot sun coming down. Sun going up. Can't really tell. I say and not donkey. God, don't you? You're dumb. That way. Which way? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I think we could say yes comfortably. They're over here because he wants to seem useful. All right, let's try the. Okay. Yeah. And it's. It's full of boxes and shit, old sets and cans of paint and brushes and all that stuff. And it's dark. Pearl Allison.

And you hear it's a bunch of stuff falls over. It's us. Hello. Oh, my God. Nope. It's your friends. Oh, thank you so much. And it Perel. Like, you see him, like, poke his little spectacled face out from behind a box. What happened? What's going on? Get in here. Get in here. We're in the box. Get in. Come hide. Okay. There's a complication. What? And Perel pokes points to a hole in the tent that goes to, like, an area behind the tent, like, outside of the main camp.

And he says, look in here, but be quiet. Okay. And we. We all go in at the same time to look. And then we're, like, shoving each other out of the way. Three chipmunk style, like, poke our heads through, like, Billy. And then on top of it. Hello. It's me. It's me. Totally. And you see the fancy cart that jaunter was riding on. Oh, yeah. When you guys saw him outside of town. And it's all unfolded into this pretty comfortable little, like, one person house.

And he's sitting there at a folding table on a folding chair with, like, a tea kettle, like a teapot on the middle with two cups of tea. And he's drinking tea and calling to someone in the tent. He says, I mean, I'm really glad that you were able to. To arrive. I don't really have as much information as I wish I could. But I'm really glad that you're here. We need you now more than ever. And stepping out of the cart is the torch of McCall.

And he steps onto the ground and he sits in the chair and takes a sip of the tea. And he's like, well, you've been doing wonderful work. And I'm just so glad that we were able to finally meet our two organizations working together. As they were intended to all these years ago. Just like to thank you for hosting me. And Jaunter reaches, like, into the lapel of his frayed coat. And he pulls out a copper pin and puts it on the table. And he says, I'm just glad you're here.

I'm afraid that we're running out of time. He says, we'll do everything that we can to resolve this as quickly and as efficiently as possible. And he's like, yeah. And I think that's where we're going to end it for this week. Whoa. Holy shit. My name is Sean O'Hara. I've been your Game Master for this week. And joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long. Playing Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Bye-bye. Playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai.

Goodbye. Thanks to Wes for all the technical work. Abdul for all the editing. Aaron Reid for our amazing intro and outro music. Thanks to our Patreon supporters for supporting the show. Thanks to Adam, Kobel, and Sage Lucchetti. Thanks to Adam, Kobel, and Sage LaTorah for creating Dungeon World, which you can find online. Please feel free to join us on social media for various interactions. We're at speltlore most places. And we'll see you next time. Bye.

And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore. See you then. Bye. Bye.