Patreon Bonus: Spout More Episode 27

Hi, Spoutlorians, Abdul here, just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Speltmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes.

You carry on traveling through this cotton candy forest, just like burning away candy floss as you go with your brand new torches, and you're walking for another, I don't know, 45 minutes, and you start to hear like water, but like thick, like thick water rushing in the distance, and you get to the base of what does indeed look like a mountain. It looks like it is a network of conveyor belts. But over time…

Whatever happened, whatever chocolate logistical pipes were at the top, stuff like tumbled down off the broken and disused conveyor belts and started solidifying and piling up. So it's created this mountainous structure. There are these cliff sides and roosts and peaks, clefts, valleys, all this kind of stuff, but sort of miniature. Yeah. It's like an indoor climbing gym made out of chocolate. Yeah, exactly.

And the thing that makes it a little difficult is you know the chocolate that you're probably looking for will be at like… Like the mouth of whatever this liquid chocolate fountain is. So there is conveyor belts that go up to a point, but then they are covered in this running chocolate that is like pushing it back down. So what's your mountaineering expertise like, children? I have a grappling hook. That's pretty good. Do you have a grappling hook? Don't we all?

I have a lightning hook, it says. Whoa. Yeah, you sure do. What is a lightning hook? It's just a grappling hook, but it's got Christmas lights attached to it for decoration and practicality. It's how people hang their Charles Eve lights. Oh, yeah. I see. All right. Well, that will do. I mean, we've got the one. Perhaps we can all make use of it somehow, but it's going to take us some time to get up this mountain, children. I'm sure you understand.

This thing is probably not the most structurally sound, and who knows what the machinery will do when weight is pressed upon it. So I shall watch you go first. Sorry. And it's at this time that Borbo, you're all reminded Borbo is here, the goats having pulled him along in the cart all this time. Gosh, I didn't know that goats were attached. That's so cute. Oh, yeah. You've got a little, you've got like two little goats that pull it, and Borbo's like, all right. Mm. You guys go.

I'm going to hold down the fort down here. And he grabs his backpack, and he fishes out the baseball bat, and he starts swinging it in front of him. Nobody's getting near this fucking cart. Okay. I'll watch these goats with my fucking life. Would it make sense to send the goats up the mountain first since A, they're so nimble, and B, you would test the weight? That's smart. Yeah. That is quite smart. Let's see what the goats do. Okay. I see you rolling dice. What are you rolling? Resolve.

Command. You're going to command the goats. Yeah. Mindy gave me these goats, and when she gave them to him, she said, you do whatever this beautiful boy says. Okay. Yeah. So it's risky, and it's limited because these are goats, and they're not easy to command. Okay. Four. Four. Okay. So on a risky limited, you still command them, but there is a consequence of some kind. They don't come back? We have to pull the cart out of here? That's hilarious. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So you see the goats start.

They walk towards the chocolate, and they lick the base of it, and then lick the base of it. I shouldn't have said that. Do they also climb up the shaft of it? They pay special attention to the balls. They start chewing on the chocolate. Yeah. I hear you. That's sort of at the base of the structure, and they hop up onto a conveyor belt and walk, walk, walk, chew, chew, and you just watch them for, I don't know, probably 10 minutes as they climb up this mountain. Yeah.

We kind of forget that this is like a tester, and we're like, oh, it's so cute. Yeah. Oh, look, he made the jump. Look at the natural environment. Look at him go. Their ability to balance is nuts. I know. It's like they climb up sideways like that. It's so cool. And then we hear, and a giant flying creature comes in and grabs one. A condor? A candy condor? Oh, no. Oh, no. And one grabs the goat and flaps away with the goat into the darkness. And the goat is screaming. And you, yeah, all right.

That happens. So now I'm going to go ahead and start another clock real quick. Clover hates it. She's like, I don't want a handhold to die. I can't believe this. We don't know. I'm supposed to be a vegan. I shouldn't even be using goats. This is what you get for using beasts of burden. And in the distance, you hear like, as it sounds like there's a crash in a candy tree, and it sounds like the goat has been deposited in a nest nearby. Okay. Still alive. Yeah. Freaked out in a tree.

But then you hear like, oh, no. As it starts coming back around. What do you do? I have lights out licorice. Can I throw it at the goat and shroud in darkness? I might need that for a fight. And that's also not what lights out licorice does. Careful, children. When fight facing an enemy capable of taking to the skies, you have to take special care. Do something. All right. Fine. And as it swoops down at you, it's feathers. Yeah. Look like that. Like rainbow candy tape stuff.

And it's beak is saltwater taffy. Saltwater taffy. But like hardened on the edges. Like it's stale. Saltwater taffy. And it's got talons of shining. Werther's. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's ugly. No, it's Werther's butterscotch talons. Yeah. Butterscotch talons. And you say, do something to Adric. And he goes, oh, okay. And he puts a foot up on the cart and leaps into the air as it swoops at you. And he grabs one of its talons. Holy shit. And he's just hanging from this bird as it flies away.

Whoa. And he's like swiping his sword at it. Like, how about me, beast? This is awesome to watch. Now, that is something. And he is carried off into the darkness, basically. And you hear. And swipes. He's fighting a condor in a tree somewhere. Bite me. I'll bite you. Delicious. He's going to be dropped off with the goat. Stands to reason. Now we're alone. We're gone. Yeah. What's going on? Kids. What about the adult that was with us that wasn't drunk is gone.

So we need you to be the adult that's with us. That's drunk. Oh, okay. All right. Well, here I am. And he like lifts himself out of the cart and tumbles on the ground. And yeah. So you're just, you're at the bottom of this chocolate mountain.