Episode 16 – The Anvil

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spoutland!

I'm your game master Sean O'Hara, joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz Hello everybody! Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers Hello! And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hello!

When last we left our heroes, they'd return to hither and yon Their home away from home That interdimensional, always moving pub slash inn Some time of recuperation began as the party just got to some mail Just checked out their mail Looking for some information and received a correspondence from their dear friend Perel the Wizard Who updated them on the status of Morris and Perel's project at the Highspear Tower For those of you that might not remember, they are investigating the Highspear Tower above the city of Highspear In an attempt to see if its magical infrastructure can be used to the advantage of the party To resist the influence of the Gibbous Man and potentially make contact with wizards not currently on this plane What did we learn from Perel?

That they have now figured out how the Highspear works, which they're happy with But if they're actually able to do anything with it, is up in the air Because its construction is arcane and confusing And the wizard that constructed it did so with their own plans in mind and their own plans only He's fucking crazy, is what you said Yeah, he is insane What else did we learn?

That the Highspear Tower is a magical structure And that the Highspear Tower is a magical structure And that the smog from the infected coal is making its way to Highspear City And floating out over the Highspear itself And we saw a little bookworm condo in one of the mail cubbies Pretty good Inhabited by the bookworms Oman and Yusuf Who delivered a message to Farah Sounds like a sitcom about a gay couple Oman and Yusuf Somebody went to school Farah delivered the message that Blackspire is gone After your last contact, he in fact broke out of the library And has been making his way to the shore of the Sea of Graves You sent a message back with all of the things that have happened to you And Ving then connected via his abalone Mother of Pearl dragon scale with Cerulean Depths Sending her and Grandmother Orca The old timer whale that she hangs out with To go pick up Blackspire Who is now surfing his way across the Sea of Graves What a stupid thing I let you guys do So dumb You've been trying to keep him off of this continent for like five years I've been trying to make the logistics make sense in my head And at this point, whatever And now he's parasailing Yeah Yeah, so instead of a boat, he's on three orcas So much more sense Why we did- we could have done this years ago You guys fought me on this so hard You fought me on it And I've been- I've been worn down is what it is So hard and so luck Honestly though, it's worth it Cause now that means Blackspire will be back Yeah Then as the party was relaxing after a harrowing adventure Bursting through the door came Euphigenia An older woman and a miner Working at a coal mine Slash refinery somewhere else in the firefields Who was fleeing a fight after the harriers attacked the refinery that she was mining at Yeah And she has taken refuge in Hither and Yon Sharing some information with you about Project Anvil Which she believes to be based on individuals that she knows have been taken to a secret facility To be some sort of super-sized Big Mac Yeah, so huge Super-sized Big Mac Super-sized Big Mac Uh, that is her- at least her theory Uh, that is her- at least her theory Okay And then the party made a plan Do we go and see Callum Blackhammer in the capital of Blackglass And try and take out the brains of the operation Or try and track down Colm Who is supposedly involved with Project Anvil And take out the firefields super weapon Yeah, and then Paul had a great idea Which was to use the ticking heart of M3 as sort of a spirit bomb And maybe we can effect this giant mech and somehow get it to come alive And maybe we can effect this giant mech and somehow get it to come alive In the same way we did M3 M4 M4 M4 Yeah M4 Or even- M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 I mean, I got you.

Okay. All right. We're all on the same page. And in preparation for this secret mission, which seems to be the plan to go and confront Project Anvil right away, the party decided that they needed some equipment, some stuff to prepare themselves for this fight. Yeah. And Mears took them to the Lost and Found, which is where we find our heroes now. A room, maybe in Hither and Yon style, slightly bigger than it should be. Yeah. Absolutely chock-a-block full of shit. Can we hear about the shit?

Well, we're going to make some rolls for the shit, probably. I like that it ends up being a lot of weapons. It's a lot of weapons and a lot of coffee table books in there. Yeah. A lot of hoodies. That's perfect. Because what this table does is it rolls a 161D, like it rolls on 161 options. Yeah. And each option is its own table with however many options. Okay. But a lot of them are books. Fuck. Books and trinkets. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It's the last thing we need. There's weapons.

There's minor magic items. There's unique weapons. There's lots of things that it could be. Oh, unique weapons. So I think I want to give each of you one thing. You know what I mean? You're going to get one shot at finding something, basically. I'm very small, so can I have two things? You know what? Don't say yes. Yeah. What the frick? I'm medium sized. Can I have four things? You know what? Sure. Yeah. Thanks, Sean. Can I have two things? No. That's too much. Too many things.

I think we can all agree. No, it's not. You said so. How about we each get two? You get two and you choose one. No, no, no. No, no. We get two. We get three and we choose two. This isn't a negotiation. Jess, we have to respect the GM. Unfortunately. But I'm married to it. But you guys have armor and stuff. I have nothing. What do you mean? What's your armor? Plus what? Nothing. I mean, Billy can have a suit of armor. Yes.

The thing is, is that Billy, as a slippery little guy, should not wear anything too heavy. Or loud. You can basically get one armor point worth of armor without affecting your ability to move. I find some bubble wrap. What? The loudest thing of all. And Mears is like, that's not actually part of the room. I'm packing up some of this stuff in here to send it to people that forgot it. It looks really comfortable. You came out, somebody shoot me. Watch it bounce off. It's so bouncy.

It's like, Ving does like one hand with a spear up. No, no, no. So how it works is like leather slash chain mail is one armor. But anything higher than that, then you get the clumsy tag. Oh, I don't want clumsy. Yeah. So you're going to want like something light. I'll do leather. Yeah. Little leather daddy. Describe your leather armor. So I go rooting through some baskets and I find like a fun, like striped leather from a zebra. Oh, where would a zebra be from in our world?

Probably the Western continent, right? Yeah. Western. More hot weather over there. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Cool. Maybe. Oh, maybe it's where the horse tribes are from. Yeah. Horse tribe. Yeah. That's sick. I like that a lot. That's really cool. I could get something stupid. That's rad, dude. Yeah, that's awesome. You're right. I just, cause I was like unsure. I don't know anything about the horse tribes. I don't know what I was imagining.

I guess I was imagining kind of Mongolia, but maybe it's more of like a, like an African styled. I think it's like African Arab is what I was imagining. Yeah. Yeah. Like Moroccan. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Like the Bedouins and stuff like that. Yeah. Cool. Pedro Pascal is like standing at the top of a, a sand dude. He like pulls a Bedouin sash up from behind. Yeah, off the space. John sends an eagle, a falcon off the sand dude. Oh my goodness. Okay.

So Billy gets a suit of leather zebra armor from the horse tribes. Of course, none of you know that. We as the viewers now know that. I also thought it'd be funny if like Billy could fit in like the gimp mask that he was wearing. Oh my God. Yeah. Which is just like the. He puts his arms through the eye holes in his head through the mouth. Can I delete what I said? No, no. I love you. Oh, I want the gimp mask. Billy finds the zebra armor and it's like, puts it on and it bespeaks ages of history.

And then Chuck's like, Billy, do you want the gimp mask? Oh my. Oh yeah. I want that. I want that. I want that one instead. I want that one. That's great. That'd be great for when you have to get out to shit or piss. That's true. I don't want this stupid other one anymore. Get out of here. Throws it in a pile. Cool. All right. Then we'll go to tuck. Fuck. What do I need? The thing I've been thinking about is saffron based on like what happened with euphigenia. Yeah.

Like giving her that saffron drink. Yes. Alleviate. The demonic influence. Or the iconic influence that you felt hanging off of her, which you assumed to be from exposure to the smog. Yeah. Yeah. So I think maybe he's looking for like a light guard thing or like something to defend against demons or some kind of like sunstone. Yeah. Cause what, what's the, what was the lyrics of the tolling again? Cause it was instructions for how to defend yourself against demons.

I think that's what was like, always like always walk the wooden roads. Yeah. The darkness shrinks from tellers gift. Oh, what's that? Is that saffron? Hallows gift. Oh, I know that's just candles. Okay. Yeah. Candles. Hallows gift. Well, I don't think we ever established what that was. No, that's kind of cool. You wrote this song, right? I know. Pretty cool. It's really cool. I think it's light. I think it's candles. Like it's just the darkness shrinks from the light. Okay. Oh, tell us gift.

Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. A candle. A candle is tallows gift and the light that it produces pushes back darkness. Yes. Wow. You wrote this song. It's really beautiful. When you wrote it, what were you thinking that I kind of just randomly chose words. This is what happens every time Abdul just comes up with words for something. I have to spend so long trying to make it canonical. Canonically makes sense. That's perfect.

Oh, maybe there was like a, cause we said the tallow gate was important. Maybe there's a specific type of candle that came through the tallow gate where like the wick is like saffron dipped in saffron. Like it's like hemp and rope. It's like the candles themselves are thought to repel. Like demons. Demons. Yeah. That makes sense. Like saffron oil. Yeah. Saffron incense wrapped in a tallow. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. Maybe you find like a little tuck finds like a little bundle of candles.

It's the way. Yeah. Oh, the wick. And then the wicks come from Wickport and. Oh yeah. Yeah. Cause there was a, there was a Chandler's row where they made candles. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. So yeah, maybe you find like a little, you know, like how they sell candles when it's like two long candles on the one wick that you like snip in the middle. A little nunchuck. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, like four candles basically like tied together with twine that you recognize as being McCollin. Cool. I take those. Yeah.

I think people used to put the candles in their windows to keep demons out. Totally. Yeah. Which was probably like introduced slowly through like superstition, but because it actually worked. It just sustained. Yeah. And they're just like, Oh, you know, you light a candle in your window. It keeps demons away, but it actually does keep demons away. Love it. Pretty sick. Pretty cool. Bing. Also going to be cool. What does he need? Like saffron. Of course we found we need sunstone is the other one.

Things to fight the demons. Ooh, some sort of, um, I mean, we're going to somewhere where we need to be able to not breathe the air. Some sort of purifying mask for us. I think that's kind of cool. I think that is cool. Yeah. Like if you found like a sheet that was like kind of infused with saffron that you could put over your mouth, like that Bedouin version, a Pedro Pascal. Yeah, totally. Yeah.

I think the thing that would make the most sense to me out of that is finding like a pouch of saffron that you could then put to use rather than like specialized equipment, you know? Yeah. But I think you could definitely find a bunch of saffron. Yeah. I could just find a bunch of saffron. Who would have left a bunch of saffron? Mirrors. He just accidentally left it in this room. I'm in his like pantry. Yeah. And he's like, Bing, the lost and founds over here. That's those are my spices. Those.

Yeah, I'll definitely take all these. No, no, no. You're out of saffron. Perfect. You gotta give him like 40 uses of saffron. How many uses? 40 uses. Oh, yeah. This is a well-stocked pub, Sean. Five. One, two, three, four, five. Yeah. Five uses of saffron. Cool. Which I will allow like, you know, if you wanted to make like, oh, this is like a breathing thing. Yeah. You could make one with a use. It might be destroyed and you might have to make, like, another one, but you know. Cool. Thank you.

It's in like a little crystal box. Yeah. It's just in a little crystal container. Yeah. Yeah. With Guy Fieri's face on it. Proprietary saffron. Guy Fieri, who's like now like 80 years old. Yeah. Cool. All right. Now you all get a roll off the table if you want. Do it. For weird little things that you find. Let's do it. Let's see what happens.

So, Billy, you find leaning up against a wall, like its head on the ground, and then like, the handle leaning against the wall, a heavy, like, pickaxe made of like a reddish metal. And it seems like there are designs of dragons carved in the head, along with like runes. Can I lift it? It's very heavy for you. Yeah. I start crying. Is this my only chance? Is this the only thing I get? He's batting his eyes at us. Okay. I'll get, I'll see something.

And if I, if you, if it, you like it more, I'll trade you for it. Okay. Billy, this is a teachable moment. Sometimes you don't win. That might be yours. You're right. Sometimes I don't win. Start crying. You don't have to roll. Remember, we're just rolling on the table. You roll for me. You find, there's like a rolled up, it looks like a rolled up piece of turf. Billy, I found turf. Do you want it? Oh, I mean, only if you don't want it.

But you, you, you'd pick it up, and it like, unfurls, and it's about the size of like a small, like rug that'd be at the front of a door. And it's made a very plush living moss. Oh, do you want this? Yeah. Okay. Here you go. Do you want to see what I get instead? No, I want this. The moss mat? The moss. The moss is stupid. At least I can lift it. The table's just bringing stuff up. Okay. I'm going to roll again. Yeah. For Ving.

There's a small, on a shelf, there's a small, like tiny, like maybe like this, how long would you say this is? Six inches. Like seven inches. That's like eight inches. Really? This looks like nine and a half to me. About a five to six inch long, very delicately made loot. Like to scale, like a strung loot. Ving picks it up and slowly looks at Billy with his eyebrows up. Oh, it's even smaller. It's a little toy loot.

And there's little painted, hand painted images of fairies and food, and sort of like cavorting creatures. Is it a Billy sized fairy loot? I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. Billy. This is terrible, but I will take it. I'll trade. I gladly give onto you. Can I have the mat? Yeah. I kind of want to roll three more times. Okay. Because I like this stuff on here, but you only get one thing. Okay. You can't have them all. I just, like I thought we were getting weapon.

You can, well, when you say you want a weapon, what do you mean? Like you just want a sword or a knife or something? I was hoping like poison darts. But I mean, you can get anything. If you don't say what you want, you don't have a chance of getting it. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. You can get poison. You can get poison darts. That's just equipment. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want poison darts to be the thing that you get? Yeah. But I also have to have armor. Yeah. Yeah. You have armor. Yeah.

You can, if you're just looking for straight up equipment. Yeah. That's what I was looking for. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You can have darts. Maybe they're just darts from the hither and yon. Yeah. Do you mean like a blow gun or like throwing darts? Yeah. Like a, like a, like a little piece of wood and it goes. Fun. Yeah. For your poisons. Yeah. Do you have poison? It's a thing. I thought the darts would already be poisoned. You can have, I have, um, harp snake venom. You can have that. Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's a paralytic. That's pretty sick. Yeah. That is sick. Oh yeah. If you have like a bunch of paralytic darts, that would be fucking rad. So useful too. It says one paralytic. Oh. So you might need more. I might need to find more. Oh yeah. Did I say it was just one dose of paralytic venom? I did write one paralytic. Cause doses are usually like three. Do you want my harp snake scales? Sure. Trades. Trades. Yeah. Poisons are usually three uses. So you have three. All right.

So Billy has a gimp mask that he's stuck his legs and arms through and some poison darts with snake venom. That's beautiful. He looks like Neo from the matrix. Just like all decked out of venom. Yeah. So is there anything else that Tuck is looking for? Uh, I got the pickaxe. Yeah. It's a big, big, heavy pickaxe made out of some sort of red material and it has, it's got like dragons and runic writing etched in it. Do you want to roll a couple more times for me? Cause to see what else there is.

Yeah. Yeah. I like random stuff. I'll root, I'll root around. Tuck is like, I really appreciate the pickaxe. I'm just going to root around it a little bit more. Please do. I'm going to also root around. Okay. So you find a glass vial kind of tucked away in a shelf and you're like, what the fuck is that? And there are two perfectly preserved, but detached human ears. I don't like that. That's creepy. That's all I want. So we're going to take that. Okay. I'm going to roll. Ooh.

You find a bone handled dagger with a keen blade to a razor's edge. Wow. Cool. The blade is very, very, very sharp. In fact, you look at it and you cut yourself. And the handle is made of some sort of a yellowed, but polished bone. Cool. One more. No, I'm going to take the bone handled knife. Hell yeah. Uh, Ving. Yes, please. You want something else? Oh, heck yeah. None of this stuff. Is it fancy? Yeah. All right. Let's see what this one is. Uh, leather working tools made of ivory. Yeah.

A nice little, like rolled up. I can repair Billy's armor. And you can use that to make like smog masks. Yeah. Get math. Yeah. And for, yeah. Cause the mechanics wear get masks and we might have to pretend to be mechanics. Yeah. You would recognize these as being of the design that is common in the frozen North. Oh really? And it looks like there's like specific kind of all hole punches that are used primarily for like the hard, hard hides of seals, walruses and whales. Cool. Cool. All right.

Billy, do you take the little tiny loot? No. Okay. You didn't. I left it behind. It's in there. You know, it's in there. I like these blow darts more. Okay. All right. Are you guys done rifling around and other people's stuff? Yeah, man. Yeah. It was awesome. Thank you. If anyone comes back for any of these things specifically, you guys are going to have to give them back to me. Deal. Bye. Oh man. All right. So now is the plan to just hit the road? Yeah. Hit the door. Yeah. We're all armored up.

I have this little short knife. I've got my normal clothes on. Saffron candles. I'm in my gift mask. I got a bunch of leaves and some tools. And Euphigenia comes down the stairs. She's wearing her minor outfit that she was wearing when she, when she came in. She's coming with you. That's the plan. Yeah, I think so. All right. So what now? Now we have to try and get the bar to go to where they're working on the anvil. She shakes her head. Okay. Are you okay with this? I am afraid for sure.

But if what you say is true about what they're planning, I have to help. I can't sit by. Watch this happen. Stay close. You stay close. Then someone's going to have to try the door. Okay. What is the role? I believe we've done a defy danger charisma. Okay. To like try and convince the bar. I've got zero Riz. I've got three. Two Riz. Oh shit. I think I have a debility to charisma. He's got a debility to Riz. Why? I took a debility when I tried to, uh, do break in the law. Oh, right.

I clear that from, from, cause we've been in here. How many sleeps does it take to clear? Uh, it's three days of uninterrupted rest. Being in hither and yon for one day gives you three days worth of rest. Right? Yeah. So have you healed your hit points? Yes. Then you would cause it's one or the other. Can I switch that out and get rid of the debility? Uh, sure. Yeah. Okay. I can also just roll with the debility. It's fine. It's all good. Get rid of the debility.

But in the future, we will need to specify that you are, taking the time uninterrupted to heal from it. Okay. So two D six plus charisma. And what are you putting out into the air? As you try and convince hither and yon to take you where you want to go. It tuck feels really guilty for putting himself in a position where M four had to sacrifice himself to save him. So it's just this, like this need he has to like get M four's heart into another Mac.

And he's like, M four is the most metal as fuck Mac out there. And he deserves to be in the most metal as fuck metal body. Then exactly. And that's what the anvil is. All right. Yeah. Two D six plus charisma. Okay, here we go. Fuck. I got eight. Okay. So seven to nine. Not bad. So yeah, partial success, which means you're not going to get exactly where you want to go, but it's going to be close. Where do we think it takes you? Okay. So we wanted to be right beside the big project anvil.

It takes us like inside the fact, like something that's way too close. Yeah. Oh, maybe like the vengeance against, as Cole and black hammer kicks in. Oh, like you're just thinking about beating up Cole. Yeah. Cause Cole is there, right? Cause he's overseeing the project, but it's like, I'm trying to think about M four, like running through a field of wheat. Come on. Yeah. It's going on. Yeah. And then Callum, I see Callum black hammer laughing at me and going, your son had to save you.

You sucked in that fight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Such a bad job. Your image. He stabs M four. No. With like an ice blade. Like he did Billy. I'll kill you. Callum. I'll kill you for killing my friend. He's tuck his day. All of a sudden. Yeah, totally. Oh God. We're not going to the factory. No. And he's got his eyes closed. Yeah. Don't you dare my friend. I'm four. Did you fall asleep? I punch me when he touches me.

So yeah, that does sound like it would be more like a, like a failure putting you immediately in danger. So we're not doing that specifically. No, but then he like he, he, but then talk kind of like, uh, what do you call it? Like he pulls himself together a little bit. Yeah, totally. Cause he punched bang. Yeah. Which helped me, which helped me really some of my, my pent up aggression, my aggression. And then I, I see, as soon as I punch Vig, I see M four again, running through a field of weeds.

It works. Oh no, this works. Yeah. Oh shit. Yeah. Yeah. And then I see him kissing another robot. Whoa. A lot of sparks flying. Uh, if we're not getting exactly what we want and we're not objectively failing, tuck opens the door. What does he see? He opens the door and he sees like a table with a map on it in a war council room, like a bunch of generals. And then he hears like a voice that makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

And moving, moving in front of the cracked open door is the hulking shape of coal black hammer. Yeah. So you hear like his arm and like the pistons hissing steam pouring out. Yeah. It's like a massive amount of danger, but a very advantageous position in terms of like collecting information. I risk high reward. Yeah, totally. Can I discern realities? Like how many people are in, like how many people are in this room? I, okay. I don't think it's a ton.

I think it's like Coleman, maybe three others though. At least based on the voices you can hear. Cause of course you're listening through like a crack in the door and there is a bunch of like, I really, yeah. What do you mean? It's not on time. We're putting a lot of our effort and a lot of our livelihood on the line for you. Black hammer. Yes. My, my cold deposits are quite valuable. And the fact that they've been co-opted by the Royal family is absolutely on set. Unacceptable.

My name's not Lee masterly senior. My, I'm not Lee masterly. Senior. My dumbest son is missing. And now my refineries were being attacked by Briggins. If this will, it's a discern reality. So we can get some more specific information. Oh, Oh, Oh my, those are two ones. Naked plus wisdom. It's two. It's a two. You get a point of experience bill. Oh fuck. No. He's wearing a fairy child. I only have two. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm going to have to do it. I'm going to have to do it.

I'm going to have to do it. I'm going to have to do it. I'm going to have to do it. I'm going to have to do it. I'm going to have to do it. I need them. I mean, this could mean a hard move though. If you literally are peeking through the door of an extremely dangerous man's office. What should I do? I talked to you. No, Jess, I can't give him. I can't accept the responsibility of making you use. I'm just so scared of the same thing happening last time where I use all my fairy child so quickly.

And then we almost died. But you use them in such a stupid way last time. This is a good reason. He's so stupid. So stupid. Yeah, because I'm just looking around. How am I going to fuck it up? Apparently I did. Your tummy grazed the door and opened it even further. You open the door. My zipper got caught. Jess, I think you got to do it. If he finds us, he's going to kill it. You don't have to do it. Yes, you do. We'll do it, I guess. So I turned a failed roll into a seven to nine.

So now we get one question. Right. Jessica's so pissed that she had to use her hold for this. Okay. So you do it. You do it. You do it. You do it. You do it. You do it. You do it. Okay. So you get one question off the list and you have one remaining fairy hold. Jess is so mad. Oh, we all take terms of being mad. Oh, so everyone else is allowed to be mad, but not me. No, you're allowed to be mad. We're just acknowledging that it's happening.

Brian's going to be so pissed off that a lot of these shots are just going to be of a piece of paper. All right. This one question better answer everything I need to know. What here is useful or valuable to me? Yes. Good question. So I'm going to go with this one. I'm going to go with this one. Okay. So you're going to go with one. That's the one. Jess, you're so mad at me. That's a good question. I can't wait for this to absolutely come back to bite you in the ass. So fucking mad at me.

I had a whole plan and everything, but it's okay. That you were going to use your fairy gels for? No, something else. Something else. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Would it still work if we got caught? Yep. Well, then don't do it. No, it's fine. Don't do it. No, it's fine. Don't do it. It's going to be a turn. No, I totally had a plan. No, no, it's okay. It's like the late morning. I can get through a day. You can get through a day? You got one fair shot? Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah.

I can get through it. Absolutely. I'll be fine. It probably won't even come up. It probably won't. Yeah, depending how long we're in here for. Yeah. It's just shocking that you failed a die roll. That rarely happens. That's such good dice. Snake eyes. Crazy dice. That's a good dice. That's a good dice. That's a good dice. That's a good dice. That's a good dice. That's a good dice. That's a good dice. I did touch them earlier That's okay That's not your fault No You didn't touch my die Do you?

I touched all of them No You know what It's because I ate a donut earlier And it cursed me What?

A donut wouldn't do that Yeah it did A donut wouldn't do that to you Did it So yeah there's a bunch of As all these guys Start arguing with each other And uh Colm slams a fist on the table They all jump We all jump We all jump Cause we're fucking We're actually terrified We're all whiskey scared We're all whispering to each other And Tuck's whispering I'm not scared of this guy at all Why am I looking at a bunch of pee Go down your leg You're crushing my hand I'm holding things in my hand I'm not scared I'm pissing on the ground We're all trembling My teeth are tearing Shut up And he says Our plans Are close to fruition Project Anvil Is almost complete And once it does This war will end We'll be over The machine will descend On Highspear City And bring it to its knees And from there Kinos No one will stand in our way Once this weapon is in the field It is all of your responsibilities To ensure that this happens Need I remind you That this war Is in your best interests And need I remind you I am your princeps Whoa fuck Sorry I scared Scared me Jessica That was awesome That was fucking crazy Don't you dare say that again Keep going Keep going Fucking Yes I can Stay in it If I demanded That you surrender Your homes And your families You will do so If I want your life I will have it And uh Billy you see on the wall You're a little boy You don't necessarily understand But you do see the diagrams of You know like the Vitruvian man Like arms out Legs out It is a very powerfully built Mac And it looks like the exhaust Is in the middle of the wall And it's like It's like the pipes That they usually have Like the kind of bagpipes They have on their back It has Like more of them They kind of like Fan out from its back And like up out of its torso Like it would be burning A colossal amount of coal Whoa Whoa Maybe he says that To like masterly He's like Masterly You ensure That your miners Get every single ounce of coal Out of the ground Because if this Incursion Fails Because of your Inability To maintain security Of a simple mine I will take it out of your hide Personally And he bows Masterly like Like bows like Yes Princeps Now go Go!

And they all They all like trip over themselves And leave the room Literally everyone at the table Jumped Finally cabinet Gets up Has legs And runs at the room With us in it And uh They all leave the room And the door slams behind Do I take a Point of spiritual damage About how fucking scary No you don't have to Cause that's actually Sean can you take An inspiration point For how good that was Don't worry I bet I bet Mears was also like Peering through the room Like whoa What the fuck That guy sounds mad He's eating popcorn Wow No it is enough to know That you guys are afraid Uh that is spiritual Sustenance enough for me Yeah Uh and they all leave the room And they're sort of like a Creak Clunk As the door is closed Like it is a metal door In a metal frame And then you hear Masterly Crying at the other side Do you think he's mad at me?

He sounded mad at me He said My privilege is such a burden People don't know how hard it is To be so rich So we're getting out of here Get me caviar But now Colm is in this room by himself And he's looking at the At the maps and diagrams in front of him And you're only seeing like this From a sliver That's facing the door in the wall On like the far side of the room Yeah what do you do? I'm sorry Is Colm still in there?

Colm is in the room by himself This seems to be like his Quarters or something So he's like You can still hear his The engine in his armor Like As he's like Just in here Rewinding Reviewing documents Hmm And you Oh You see In the corner of the room His sword Leaning up against the wall Long Black blade This seems like a good opportunity To get more information Yeah So What is the information That we want to extract here? Is it information about the sword? Is it information about Colm?

Is it information about the war? I'd say Colm or the sword Colm or the sword? Yeah Yeah Can we see any tattoos on him? Maybe some rhyme or reason to that Oh yeah I think that you would have to look real close At least as he is Because he is encased in his armor Like up to his neck Billy Do you think your paralytic would work on him?

Yeah I was already reaching for it Interesting We can take him out of that suit And look at his naked body Really study it We have to see the tattoos he has on his body To understand What powers he has basically Right yeah Yeah Uh huh Okay so hold up the blow dart To my Mouth Yeah do it Billy You can do this Okay so this is volley I guess Yeah 2d6 plus dexterity Which I have Please please Yeah Please please I know I'll get 12 You got this Billy Because I believe in myself And I'm a great fighter You're a great fighter Billy And I have a great set of lungs here Yeah you do Nice Okay 8 plus 2 is 10 Yes Nice Okay Alright okay I get him in the fucking back of the neck Right in the exposed part Right where it like It attaches to his brain Goes straight into the brain The brain is like Right into his brain stem Right into his brain stem Right into his fucking brain And it takes him immediately Jesus He's down So okay So you lean out Uh huh And The dart hits him in the neck Yeah You can see like His eyes The muscles around his eyes Start like twitching And he is not still He still stands And then you realize His armor is keeping him standing Oh Ugh And he's not moving right now But he's just like Like he's shaking in the armor And the armor is shaking Yeah You have a good amount of time I think we know that this Venom lasts for a while But what I think What do we want to do here?

This venom lasts A dramatically appropriate amount of time You know what I mean? Like he is fighting against it right now Okay So what do you do?

Move fast Okay We get in there Yeah we get in there We get the sword Oh Throw the sword into Into hithering on Yes Yeah I get the sword Yeah You were filled with an absolute Uncontrollable bloodlust When you touched the sword Tuck grabs the sword He's the only one who hasn't touched it You are filled with an absolutely Uncontrollable bloodlust But I have weaponized dissociation Then you better fucking roll those dice Let me roll a 1d4 You are like an open Demon shaped hole Oh right I'm extra susceptible baby Remember?

Yeah You just grabbed it out of my hands I'll do that Yeah When you are subject to mind control Or magic that influences your feelings You may take a 1d4 damage And ignore the feelings That's so powerful Hahaha That's too powerful You wrote this my friend Too You take 2 damage Does it ignore armor? It absolutely ignores armor Yeah Worth it Tuck picks it up Walks it back into hithering on He's like Hey mirrors Is there somewhere Like safe I can put this?

The lost and found The lost and found I guess? Yeah Tuck Please do Overhand whips Into the lost and found Yeah And you hear a bunch of crashing As it smashes into a shelf full of stuff And then Tuck goes Don't let anybody in there That thing's dangerous Okay I think that is That is a good amount of Like time is ticking Yeah You've eliminated the sword Which is insane Yeah God this is I let you guys Have too much control over this Just now Can we take him out of the armor?

Can we try and get him out of there? Yeah I want to try and get that So you're gonna have to roll Discern reality Steve And figure out how this works Can you destroy the engine That's powering it?

Cause that Without that It won't be able to like He won't be able to use it If it's steam I can turn it to ice Yeah Oh Could freeze it Yeah In place And keep him here locked in this Like tying him in place Yeah you could definitely try that Do it Sounds like elemental mastery to me I think it is Yeah I'll use elemental mastery 2d6 plus constitution Oh Holy shit Two sixes I got 13 Oh Fuck yeah 13 Okay So two out of the three So I get to choose The effect I desire Comes to pass And I retain control Okay So You can just freeze the water In Like freeze his engine Yeah Put my hand on his back And Yeah And the end Yeah The engine goes like And he is locked in place Okay Tuck wants to walk up And try and like He basically He puts his hand In front of like Colm's neck He makes eye contact with him And he is just like Bug eyed Enraged Not moving or speaking But you can see He wants to kill you Remember me?

Yeah Yeah Tuck goes Uh Yeah Look I told you We would be back Running away was a trick You fucking idiot Shit Sean's staring at me So crazy Like his eyes are bugging out And he's breathing really hard Can I try and Is it okay if I Yeah Okay Defy danger strength I'll destroy the armor And I'm gonna just I have one hand in front of his Like in his chest And one hand like In his chest Behind his neck And try and like Just rip it In half Yeah Defy danger strength For sure Fuck you Colm You piece of shit Hurt my son Fucking stab him With a knife That he brought to the battle His knife How dare you At least stab him With your own knife You fuck Oh Fuck I got a nine I will assist So what Nine's good That's a good roll Tuck's pulling And he's just like Oh no Oh no Oh no So you feel Ving's hands Go over your hands Yeah Time Hand Time Of my life We're singing Two different songs So slowly I got a Six plus one is seven Okay So that makes it a ten I pictured that Ving like Like pumps up the Cold on it To make it brittle Oh brittle Yeah Nice That's sick So it's just this Black metal armor The ice is like Creeping through the plates And like making the The iron brittle As you Fucking Shuck this dude Like an iricorn Just Punk Punk Punk Shatter the Breastplate And it reveals The body of Colm Blackhammer And the grievous wounds That he is covered in Oh shit Shit The wound that That Ving dealt him Like through the neck With his own sword Is still there Open He's covered in like Gashes And cuts That are not Healing They're not healing?

Ew And his body You're now looking at Could not support The weight of the armor That it wears It couldn't even swing The sword that he wields What the fuck?

So he's like This like shriveled He looks like Captain America Pre-serum Not quite He's like Ham sandwich Darth Vader Kind of He looks like Like he was a previously Very fit man Who has Uh Relied on his car For too long Kind of Or like Like gone too hard In battle And been Like too reckless And been struck down But kept alive somehow Like he should have been Killed a hundred times over But he's still alive And Through Those cuts and gashes You see A series of tattoos That seem very familiar I want to Discern realities Alright 2d6 plus wisdom Uh oh Oh no I'm gonna replace my My Use what the bones know To replace my Two with a five And then Plus my wisdom Yep Yay Is ten Holy shit Nice That saved the day Good save Cause if If that was a Failure Colm was gonna come too Like he was gonna Shake this venom off Wow Uh so you get three questions Off discern realities What here is valuable To us In terms of like What kind of tattoos Yeah Like what the deal With his tattoos are Yeah So you're looking at these And they seem very similar I mean they are Similar to the The tradition of like Magi tattooing Like the chaining Uh tattoos But the iconography And the symbols Used in the tattoos Seem like these are To allow him To interface With!

The iconic realm Instead of the Spiritual realm Whoa Holy shit What? Interface how?

Ask that next Who is really In control here In terms of The iconic influence Um So you would assume Just using the information That you have And like having Touched the sword before That it's to Interact More effectively With whatever icon Is in Inside the sword And looking at the Tattoos And sort of like The colors And constellations Because we've talked about How the constellations Reflect the icons Right yeah So Ving uses Night moves To read the tattoos Yeah he basically Uses night moves And the constellation That you see That you decode In the flesh Of Colm Blackhammer Is the icon of slaughter Whoa Huh And you would assume That that is the icon That is contained In his sword Is that the only One that's in there?

I do like the idea That there's maybe like Two or three icons That are kind of like It could be something That's one or two That's one or two That's one or two That's one or two That's one or two It's wildly opposed To slaughter Discipline?

Yeah discipline and slaughter Oh Because he's the head Of the army Yeah Honor It could be something That was old Like honor Oh Oh Yeah like it was When he was younger It was the icon of honor That he like Was He willingly That was like He took on the icon of honor Yeah Willingly Because he had like Ideals that he was Trying to uphold So he was a different Person before But then through the like Influence of the Gibbousman Gibbousman He introduced the icon of slaughter to sort of like corrupt calm over time maybe not just the gibbous man but also callum like because they're twin rulers right and callum is the little finger yeah so it could be like they were two brothers that balanced each other out in terms of like shrewdness and honor and I think maybe theorizing yeah this is all allegedly allegedly allegedly their clan they had this like connection to the iconic realm that the gibbous man gifted them and they saw themselves as like chosen not knowing that it was a corruptive thing yeah and every ruler chooses an icon that they connect with and because these were like two brothers they each chose their own and one was honor and the other one was shrewdness and then the shrewdness was used to manipulate callum into like manipulating calm into turning into like this disgusting war machine that's cool I like that and I like the idea that like for this family it's been a secret practice because the icons are not worshipped yeah the principalities at all yeah but it's like a secret practice amongst this family yeah yeah so I like that so the tattoos that you see on his body reflect the icons of honor discipline and slaughter and slaughter is the most recent tattoo and seems to be the one that has affected him the most and lust I could only see the top of this uh down here it's like a tramp stamp but uh so basically you were able to split because his armor is very strong you were able to split like the front of it off so these are the tattoos you can see like across his like chest and shoulders but his arms are still locked in the arms and um his legs are still in the armor billy with your kind of danger sense you can tell you can see like in his micro movements and his muscles this paralytic is going to wear off pretty soon I want to lock the door okay yeah so you run over there is a key like in the lock yeah and just which door the one to hither and yonder no the one to uh that led out of the room okay I lock that and you're able to pull the key out of the door too so you now have the key I take it oh I know wait sorry can I backtrack yeah of course yeah okay billy does lock the door to hither and yawn and then I also grab the key from like the boardroom and we lock coleman there like the room that we're in right now yeah like I want us to leave it and then we lock coleman in there and then we lock coleman in there and then we lock coleman in there and then we lock coleman in there and then we lock coleman in there and then we should get out totally yeah we're leaving to hither and yawn or to the hallway to the hallway yeah I think this works I take whatever papers look like plans to this like this huge project yeah you hop up and like rip a thing off the wall and then you like gather some stuff off off the table and then tuck goes billy I'll remember the map and he looks at it really hard thing just walks over and quietly rolls the map for two seconds his nose starts to bleed come on come on I was hoping to destroy the rest of the suit somehow we could destroy the suit first leave the shell of the man uh-huh I think yeah if you you you would guess that if you were to like destroy destroy the engine then the armor would be useless it's it is fully powered by this engine on his back oh and you virginia is standing in the doorway of hither and yawn my god she's just staring wide-eyed at all this stuff that's going on and she like watches you all kind of standing around being like do we lock him in or do we lock him in or do we lock him in or do we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then and interesting.

Tuck gets scared and a little hard for you, Fajita. It's an older woman. She seems tough, of course. Effie. Effie. I'm composing a poem in my head for her right now. He turns away and he's like, oh my god, dear diary. I've met a new woman who's a little bit older than me and seems kind of mean. She's perfect. I'm under her spell. And yeah, if you go out the door and lock it behind you. Yep. We shove the door of the Hither and Yon closed. And then, yeah, get out there.

On the way out, Ving wants to put a hand on Colm's shoulder and just say, you could do better than this. And he's just staring straight ahead. Spit running down his face, shaking. And yeah, you close the door on the other side, you lock it. It's got one of those wheel latches as well. Oh, cool. Like one of those old style vines. Yeah, exactly. And you step out into the hallway, which is metal, and the walls are metal, and the roof is metal, and there's like pipes running all over the place.

And we start whistling casually. Can we act casual? You can definitely try to act casual. Effie, do you know where we are? How we get out of here? She's holding a hand up to the wall. She's like, I've never been here before, but she feels and kind of listens. What underground? Deep underground. Underground? We grabbed the map, didn't we? Yeah. Let's see if any of the papers that you grabbed, Billy. Yeah. Start rifling through. There is like a fire. It maps out the fire exits to the facility.

So you do find a little layout. Oh, we took the practice binder. Yeah, so it seems like this is a, um, you know, there's like four levels. There's a lift that takes you up to the surface, and down to each level, and then it's got a layout of all the different rooms. Should we go up to the surface and try and get a lay of the land where we are? Yes. Is there anything down here? Should we discern reality and try and find some costumes?

Something that will at least let us blend in somewhat or anything? Sure. Yeah. Yeah, you can discern realities about the map. Six. Okay. I'll help. You do. Yeah. Two to six plus bond. How's Billy helping? Trying to read. Shit. Five. So as you're standing here looking at the map, you hear, hey, hey, here we look up. And there's like two people in like armor with weapons. It goes, thank God you're here. We just heard that three creeps snuck into the facility, and he starts walking up to them.

And then as soon as he gets close enough, he's gonna try and like punch them. Okay. Yeah. Two to six plus charisma for Defy Danger. Here we go. Yeah, that's twelve. Oh, awesome. Okay. Yeah. And he's like, oh my God, thank God you're here. Thank the black flame. And now I want to punch them as hard as I can. Okay. This sounds like it might be a scrap of ass maybe. Oh, yeah, because it's being a piece of shit. You're trying to like get away, right? Right.

On a ten plus with a hack and slash, I can forego damage to get away. So basically, yeah, that's what I'm doing. Sick. Please give me a ten plus, God. Oh, no. It's the wrong number. You called on the wrong God. We're gonna have to do this. I have an ass. Why would you ask God? I rolled a three. I have a plus three. That's six. Oh, I'll eight. Yeah. Okay. How are you? He comes up behind them and knocks their head together. I got eleven. Okay. So that makes it a seven. That's a seven.

So I do, I can't at least deal damage. Ving swoons. Distracts them. Okay. Yeah. So you're just dealing your damage here. Ten. Whoa. Yes. Five each. So describe you are gonna take one out. The other one is not out, but it's close. Yeah. So tuck, tuck, tuck. He like he runs forward with his hands up. He's like, oh my God, thank God you guys are here. Boom. Boom. Just one, two. One of the guys just slams into the wall to the left and is knocked out cold.

And the other like sees that happen and then throws his hands up and you hit him in the like forearms and smash him into the wall. But he's not quite out yet. And Tuck goes, please, I need your help. Get a roll of duty six to try to try and what? To try and convince him. No, absolutely not. No way. Not a chance in hell. There's a plant in the hallway that Ving throws at the guy. Yeah, but yeah. Okay. There you go. So that's a hack and slash. I got five. Okay. Go ahead and roll D8. I guess.

Holy shit. What's your armor? Two. So this guy draws like a like a metal club from his waist after Tuck slams him into the wall and brings it up out of the ring that it's like hanging from his belt on. And just clips Ving in the jaw. Fuck. Like blood out of his mouth. Billy, this is a scrap now. Yes. Your dad's in a fight. I'm gonna defend. Okay. Yeah. Sick. 2d6 plus. Who are you defending? Ving because he just got fucking clobbered. Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah. 2d6 plus constitution.

Oh, no, you're Invisalign. Eleven. Eleven? Eleven. Holy shit. Okay. Fuck yes. I kick him hard in the nuts. Well, it's defend. So you gotta look at the moves. What a defensive wall. What a move that is. I defensively destroy his testicles. I stand in defense of a person, item, or location. Yeah. I rolled eleven. Yeah. So, oh, right. So I choose. Yeah, you can use you have hold now that you can spend. I have three hold. Yeah. I'd like to have the attacks effect or damage to Ving.

How do you distract him so he you take half the damage? I kick him in the nuts. I defend him in the ball. Yeah. Is that allowed? That's absolutely allowed. Yeah, totally. Yeah, I stop. Stomp his nuts. So he Stomp. No, okay. Kick him in the nuts. So he swings at Ving and as his club is coming up you kick him in the nuts. Yeah. And he goes Oh! And then he kind of like grazes Ving and then he like just whaps down at you and you take three damage. I take three damage? Bitch. Oh, man.

Just to be totally honest, I think I should have taken damage there because I rolled a seven on a hack and slash. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Go ahead and roll a d8. Okay. That one. A diamond one. Diamond. Double diamond, yeah. Four. Yeah, so he Oh, but I have armor now. Yep, so you take one less. Yeah. The guy that got knocked out got knocked out but the dude, like, he hits Ving and then whacks Billy and is like sees you and is like, wait a second, I was supposed to hit you too.

And then just stabs forward and kind of jabs you in the forehead. Fuck! But yeah, he's still up and Euphigenia's like kind of running around on the outside, not sure what to do. Um, I have like two more holds. Do I use them all at once or do you? You can use them whenever you want in the fight. I would like to deal damage to the attacker equal to my level. Yeah, so you deal five damage. You just straight up deal five damage. Perfect. Sweet, I kick him in the nuts again. Fuck! And the other one.

Tuck and Vig are like, oh! Fuck! God, Billy. I mean, good work. So that is just enough to take him out, actually. Yeah. Passes out from getting kicked in the nuts twice. You hit him in the nuts twice. And he goes, oh! No! The fact that we reset for most men. Twice. Sorry. He just kind of slinks down the wall like, holding his nuts. And then he just goes, stop! I'm done! I don't want to fight anymore! Don't defend me anymore, please!

And then Tuck grabs him and he goes, tell us away to the anvil or else I'm gonna let my son kick you in the nuts again! I'm like, stretching my quads. He's got one foot in his hand and he's stretching it out. Yeah, I'm getting myself a good quad stretch, like, getting ready. You're doing the rookie of the year thing. Yeah. Oh, man. Oh, no. You're gonna have to parlay with this guy. Okay. God, you failed me once. Please don't fail me again. Or else I will forsake the Islamic religion. Thirteen.

A law was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whenever we bring a law into the equation, it always works out. It's like he shows up for us. Great. Maybe I should be celebrating Ramadan right now. Yeah, Jess, I got you so many hijabs for Ramadan. So many. I'm so cold right now. It is freezing in here. Think of how warm you'd be in a hijab. I'd be so warm. And he goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, please, not my nuts, again. I can't take it anymore. Made my way for trying for a third.

We'd be lucky to get to two and a half now. Okay, great. And he's like, all right, you're on the second level right now. Of where? Of the facility. Where's the anvil kept? And he holds up a shaking finger. His other hand gripping his shattered nuts. It's here. And there's a huge square on the map at the far end that says anvil. Are we on the right floor? It seems like every floor is the floor for Project Anvil. It's a big project. It's huge.

So it just opens up to one of those things where it's like balconies or walkways everywhere. And it's like steam. Oh, okay. We walk up and we open the door. Can we get any more information, do you think, from this guy? Something useful about the weak points? Oh, yeah. Did you have any more things to ask? It was just a parlay. You get whatever you want from this person. Well, not whatever you want. I think he's given you the information he's willing to give.

How loyal are you to the Black Hammer twins? I would die for the Black Hammer twins. Fuck you. Tuck kisses him on the mouth. What the fuck? How about now? Well, I mean, oh, wow. Tuck is married. I'm married. I'm a married man. I shan't be tempted by hot flesh anymore. I heard you and your wife are looking for a third. Be gone. What a great joke. That is a great joke. It's like a perfect joke. That was really neat. Be gone from me. Leave me in my devastated nards to be. Leave me, please.

You saw nothing here today. Okay, let's go. Let's go fucking find the anvil. Run. And you're running. Running through the tunnels. And Tuck, as we're running, goes. What are you doing with your dice? You're shaking them already. He's running. He's going, you Virginia, it was really cool how you spat on Colm's face. That was sick. Thank you. Yeah, I don't like him at all. I think the Black Hammer twins have the worst thing that ever happened to the fighter fields. We have so much in common.

And then he goes, this is so us. Guys, did you also like how I put my hand on his shoulder? And then Bing touches the side of his head. He's like, I think he's waking up. I marked the animal. Oh, shit. Good job. That's so cool. Okay, that's so sick. Guys, guys, I did a thing. And you see through his eyes, the eyes of Colm Blackhammer. And he's like, yeah, he's now like forcing the arms of his armor up. You can hear like the junk junk junk junk. Like he's trying to get it to turn over. Oh shit.

And he reaches down to like his side. And rips a cord. He's pulling the choke like a kid trying to start a lawnmower. It's just not working. It's just not going. Ah, fuck. I flooded it. I think so. I think what it is is he pulls that cord and the engine doesn't start and he reaches over and there's like a lever and he like cracks the lever down and the armor kind of like settles onto his body. And then he's very slowly moving towards the door. Okay.

But he's got this like shattered armor on his chest. He's so slow now. And you can see like Ving the way he's moving his body. He doesn't have that like explosive power that he did when you faced him before. And he reaches towards the door, pulls on the thing and it's locked and he starts fucking reefing on it. And then we hear a crazy scream like animal rage kind of like locked up paralyzed. He unlocks his vocal cords. Yeah. And he's like, I'm going to take a shot of that.

And you see him stop and look to the corner where his sword should be. Yes. And then look to the door where you came in. No, I locked it. I was just trying to freak you out. I got freaked out there. My armpits hurt. I got freaked out there. No, I locked it. I was like, Jessica, you should divorce Shawn if he makes this happen. If he takes mirrors away from me again, I'm divorcing. No, don't put this on the table. Don't put that on the table, please. I have to, no. Narratively, I have to.

I have to do it. I love you. I love you. Yeah, so he starts reefing on the door, and you pop back into your body. It would be kind of cool if he went for the door, like, for the hither and yonder door, though, and it's, like, shaking, and Mears is like, oh, shit. Oh, that would be, that would look really cool. And Mears, like, tries to get the bard. Bard will leave? Yeah. Oh, because it didn't leave? It didn't leave. That'd be wild. The door's locked, but maybe because the sword is there.

Oh, no. He can't leave. The camera sees this. Not the players, not us, but he tries the door handle, and on the other side, Mears is at the bar, and he looks up, and the handle's shaking. Oh. And then, boom, the door shakes in the jam. Whoa. And he puts his hands on the bar, and he's like, come on, go, go, go, and the shutters won't close. Boom. No. And then we cut back to you guys. Whoa. Did I kill Mears? Oh, my God. Jessica. Don't let this happen. That basically means that you divorced Sean.

You didn't put the sword in Hither and Yon. But you did have the idea to do this. I didn't want. He's not going to die. Don't cry, Jess. Don't cry. He's not going to die. Remember, this isn't that kind of show. We're not just slaughtering people for no reason. I don't know. It just is a really cool visual. Jess, he's not going to die. Okay. Okay. He's fine. We just got him back. Sean, do you pinky promise me that Colm's not going to get in there? I can't pinky promise anything. Jess. Oh.

Oh, man. Did you say pizza? She said, please. I don't know. It's more exciting. It's more exciting. I promise you it'll be fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll just be exciting. Okay. So you are running. Okay. Well, actually, Ving, you see him turn towards the door to Hither and Yon. Yes. Yes. And you see that he tries the door and it doesn't open, which I will say that that would feel to Ving as that meaning that Hither and Yon is still on the other side. Yeah. So you might now have a choice.

Do you continue on to Project Danville? Do you go back? Do you split up? Should we split up? I think that I have eyes on his eyes. If he gets in, I could probably see, and then we'll go back if it gets worse. Yeah. Okay. How do we feel? And Mears is a buff boy now. Yeah. He knows how to fight. Oh, yeah. He's a big, burly. He's a big, burly innkeeper. I feel like maybe even the audience remembers Mears as being skinny little 14-year-old boy. He's 18 or 19 now. He's got big, broad shoulders.

He's got a little bit of a belly. Yeah. He's got big blonde hair and a ponytail and a big, cool metal arm. Yeah. I understand. You're right. It's cool. It is cool. It's cool. He'll be safe. It's cool. It's cool. It's cool. And also the fact that the door stays locked means that the Hither and Yon is also protected. Yeah. Even though it can't leave, it's locked itself. Hither and Yon does not admit anyone with ignoble intentions or I'll intent. All right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

So you keep hustling down the tunnels? Yeah. I think you're going to start encountering people. So what is your plan for when you find individuals that work here? We punch. I don't know. Yeah. I'm going to roll fight with honor. Okay. Yeah. Do you need a break? You're so distressed. I am very distressed, but that's okay. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. I think it's the cake we had for pre-dinner. We did have some cake at the mall. You guys had a fucking cake while I was at the gym?

Yeah. Before we went for dinner. I'd go to the gym too, okay? I can eat some fucking cake once in a while. Sean, don't say that. The lunch place we wanted to go to, it was closed until 3.30. We had to go get cake and things. We had to kill time. There was nothing we could do to stop ourselves. What could we do before eating? That would have been better than eating cake or the gym. I see. We couldn't have went to the gym. We went outside. I see what happened. We went outside. It was windy.

It was cold. We didn't want to be in it, so we wandered. To cake. To cake. To cake. Sean said the word cookie. We went towards where that was. Pretty great. It was tasty. It was good. I enjoyed my cake. Okay. So you're rolling fight with honor. Yeah. Okay. To just give yourself some points. To have some, I'm ready. Okay. So you're rolling fight with honor. Yeah. Okay. To just give yourself some points. To have some, I'm ready. Okay. Yeah. My senses are heightened. Oh. 10. Great. There you go.

Whoa. So that's what? Three? Three chi. Three chi. So you're like, preparing yourself for battle. I have to put that image of Colm knocking on the door out of my mind. Yeah. And yeah, you got to just like trust in hither and yon. Yeah. Trust in mirrors. And as you're like hustling down, you're following the map. You have like the map in front of you. You're kind of like holding, pulling it down, taking a turn. Yeah. You know what?

I feel like as you're running down, you're like, oh, I'm going to get a little bit of fun. Yeah. I'm going to get a little bit of fun. There's a guy coming up to me. There's a guy coming up to me.

Wanted with like keep watch we took down the refinery and we fucked up the mac and they know what we look like somebody comes out of the bathroom while we're running we just stopped and trying to act casual but like right in front of the poster we're like reading the posters and we're like there's someone like wheat pasting one of the posters onto the wall of a tunnel and they turn and see you and they're like what the fuck boom so yeah you're encountering a little group of of uh guards and and workers here what do you do uh can I use I'm a bad guy now oh yes I'm gonna go straight into that yeah that is explicitly combat so that wouldn't be yeah okay so I would roll plus wisdom wisdom to call upon my winter form your wisdom is currently plus zero because of your summer form I need help I can give it to you I'm um rolling up for a fight with honor I'm like yeah gearing up billy and talking up let's do this side of the tiger yeah cool I like these guys image that like billy's running down the hallway at these guys like tapping into the winter form as it's like icing around him and bing is like kind of zipping around like knocking guys out of the way as billy moves in and eating more ice yeah oh six okay this does take all three of us yeah yeah go ahead roll it yeah yep that's uh nine okay so that makes that a seven which makes that a seven yes which means you're all gonna maybe take some damage sure this is exactly like the image I've always had in my head for the fight scene that plays to annie up yeah oh yeah right so I just really wanted to pull it up to imagine this is like you guys are running down the hallway billy's icing stuff up and he's like tapping into the winter form you're running down bing's knocking people out yeah billy's coming down the middle all iced up and then tuck bursts onto the scene to help there's a couple of doors open and more pile in and he steps forward kicks the door off of its hinges into a group of guys puts them in a different room and closes the door yeah yeah so billy I'm about I'm a bad guy now yeah I terrifying enemy okay so you're running down the hallway uh tapping into the the ancient warrior spirit that lurks within your winter form of my old like like winter face oh yeah like the the tree guy it's like a frozen tree or something like that yeah so gross and like skeletal yeah and tuck like kicks a door off its hinges into a crowd of people yeah bing's slipping and sliding around like freezes his feet in place in front of this giant billy the guy that billy stares down initially freaks out and runs like trips over himself sprinting down the hallway over dmx as he sprints buster rhymes is there uh but they're all like there's a bit of a lashing out from some of them so you know what you're all gonna roll a d8 eight damn seven fuck six holy shit we just took so much damage so reduced by your amount of armor I'm gonna block a blow for me or someone else and take half the damage okay so yeah holy shit these guys are well trained yeah they're giving and they're giving as hard as they're getting but uh the absolute terrifying countenance of billy in his winter form is enough combined with the obliterating damage of tuck hitting people with a door and bing using his skilled martial prowess while no one is defeated they are run off oh all of them are gone yeah they all left yeah this was enough that you terrified the people before you there weren't that many there was like four or five maybe okay uh but they have scattered into the facility if you want to chase these guys down I don't think we have a lot of time we gotta go I think we just start wanting to get to the anvil yeah find our way there yep and uh following the map and kind of running with some of the people that you were fighting what are you doing what the fuck I keep on by keep on by I keep on by keep on by he keeps kicking his foot into his other foot I surrender I surrender yeah tuck keeps giving one of them a flat tire you guys are just bullying people down the hallway and uh one of them goes through a door and they open into a cavernous hangar what level did the guy say you were on two the second level so you come through this door and you're facing like a massive chest basically a huge bosom powerful you come out onto a catwalk maybe five feet deep that rings a room and uh you see this like huge torso and towering above you like 25 feet above where you are you see a huge dome shaped bell shaped head like you did on the smaller max but with like like a spidery amount of lenses covering this thing's head of all different things and you're like oh my god you're like oh my god you're like oh my god you're like oh my god you're like oh my god you're different sizes the shoulders extend where you are to like huge piston biceps as big around as a house holy shit and this thing is like you lean over the railing and look up and look down this thing has got to be almost 150 feet tall yeah we think it's the building that holds the mech until we realize it's the mech yeah totally yeah we have that like moment where like our perspective readjusts in our heads and then we're like holy shit this is a mech somewhere around a a shoulders a bird flies yeah totally oh my god yeah it looks so small yeah I'm a huge bird okay yeah so that's what you see you lean over this railing this thing is 150 feet tall you can see the four other levels kind of above and below you so we're right at the heart height yeah kind of yeah you are yeah I want to discern reality to see if there's any access to the chest uh yeah 2d6 plus uh wisdom uh you got 11 okay so you get three questions uh what here is useful or valuable to us uh not from the side that you're on but like on the opposite side you see a gantry that like extends into a catwalk that accesses the engine and boiler in like the back section of the mac is it like a crank thing that extends it yeah it looks like it's got like a chain like okay so that would be your best bet at accessing unless you want to like take a flying leap onto the front part of it what's your alignment again billy pretty chaotic I call him danger arms out like swan eyes closed can't lose can I do it you catch me fate wait let me have one more question oh sure yes uh what should I be on the lookout for uh more guards probably this is the heart of the facility there are people fucking everywhere yeah um are they really fucking everywhere there are people fucking everywhere there are people all over the place um being hard of the facility there are guards there are mechanics and technicians there are laborers and you've probably only got a little bit of time before the alarm is fully raised what here's not what it appears to be very good question you see the fan of like uh pipes that you saw in the diagram which whatever this is burning it feels like this thing might be a dual purpose just looking at the sheer amount of pipes in their placement some of it is being arced in places that don't make any sense mechanically yes um I think that was picturing that some of it goes up and some of it goes down like he can use yeah he can spray it with his hand there's smokestacks in the oh yes so you see pipes running down like the arm section oh like it could direct the smog that's the biological weapon part of it it's not just a giant mac it is designed to be a giant weapon and it's not just a giant machine it's designed to spread the smog specifically it runs on so much of the coal takes so much to drive it that it puts it as as an output and then can channel it as well and that's part of the weapon okay so you've probably got I'd say 15 more seconds before somebody notices you what do you do a jump onto it I run down this so-called gantry you'd you'd have to get all the way to the other side to the gantry or you could leap from where you are a leap from where I Oh boy.

Okay, so you're probably about 100 feet off the ground right now. Is there any chains near me that I could swing around? Oh yeah, probably. I bet you could find a thing to swing yourself over on. How far away do we think it is? Probably not super far. I think it's probably 20 feet. 20 feet from the walkway to the front of the Mac? You could do it, Billy. I've seen this in Crash Bandicoot so many times. Oh, totally. Okay, so 2d6 plus dexterity, I guess, to grab a chain and swing yourself over?

Yes. Does anyone want to come with me? I will come with you, but I'll let you do it first. Because I feel like you… Were you offering to carry me? There's lots of chain to grab. Yeah, I will come with you. Okay, cool. Yes. Ten. Yes. Okay, cool. So Billy swings over, you grab a chain and… Fuck yes. Yeah, and you grab onto a little handhold. And you swing in such a way that currently no one has noticed you do this yet. So you have… Yeah, I look like a fly, honestly. Exactly.

No one can see me, I'm so small. Yeah, and the armor plates are so big you could slip in between some of them. And I'm wearing the gimp suit so I blend into the darkness. Yeah, totally. Tuck and Ving. And you have a genia who's like, what should I do? Is there any way that you could cut power to the alarm system so that the alarm can't sound? Okay, I can try. Thanks. Virginia, you're welcome. You're a really special lady. And then Tuck jumps. He can't bear to wait to see her reaction. Oh my god.

All right. I throw the chain back your way. Yeah. Here we go. Slap. Do we think this is dexterity? I'm trying to clear the whole thing in one go. So no chain. Just straight. Jumping right past the chain. You push the chain back and it hits me in the face as I just jump as hard as I can. 2d6 plus strength. Here we go. Because dexterity I have… I have negative what? Great. Great. Oh. Yes! 11! Wow. Nice. So the only downside to this, you absolutely like grasshopper. Your powerful quads. Yeah.

Send you sailing the 20 feet. Yeah. And you slam into the front of the Mac. Who can say where the wall is? And people start looking over your way. Ving, what do you do? I'm going to try and run around and jump for the boiler. Ooh. So you would have to be… You'd be running past people to go over there. I'm going to deal a damage to a foe within reach and then leap over the… Across the physical obstacle. So I want to like run and then deflect off a guy's face onto… Sure. Yeah. Looks so cool.

Go ahead and roll your damage. Two. Great. So you run over to a guy who is starting to turn and being like, Hey, who are you? He does like a surprising amount of turns and twists like a gymnastic. So sick. And on the way by, he just slapped. He just like upside down, slaps him in the face as hard as I can. And then jumps off of him onto the Mac. I'm using my hand off his face. Yeah. Yeah. And you land on the big Mac. Yeah. It's like Crouching Tiger hitting dragon levels of like defying gravity.

And now you're all on top of the Mac and people are starting to lean over and point and shout to each other. You see Euphigenia running towards like a terminal with a bunch of pipes and cables coming off of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Get it. Oh, to like, to pull an alarm. Okay. And she like grabs them, but she's kind of like struggling with this person over top of the alarm thing.

So she's held it off for now, but she's not going to have long. Do I not have a weapon? Can I just throw my spear at the guy who she's struggling with? Yeah, you probably could. Your spear would be all the way over there. You also have your bandolier that does have some stuff in it, but it's not unlimited. Okay. Ving is like, hey, Billy, watch this. Oh, yeah. And I grabbed one of the bandoliers. And I wouldn't one. And I crush it in my hand and then open it up.

And it's like this whittled Arbutus, like hard, hardwood. Whoa. Cool. Put it in my hands. Blow dart it through my hands. Great. So you can use nature's fury and volley. This is just a ranged attack, but you'll deal a D10 instead of a D6 because you're using your elemental bandolier. Great. Love it. There we go. Okay. The roll volley 2D6 plus dexterity. I got 12. Yeah. So you just deal your damage. It's a D10. 10. Holy shit. You killed this guy. You straight up. Oh, shit.

If you want his life, you can have it. I notice it's the guy that Billy kicked the balls and I hit him right in the nuts. With the dart? Yeah. Whoa. I send it as fast as I can. And he goes, oh, no. That's so stupid. And he falls to the ground. And Euphigenia points at Ving and gives him a thumbs up. And then Tuck goes, good job. You totally ended that guy's line. He's not. You're never going to have more kids. You will not. Ended the line with the two kids. Those two kids don't count.

They must be duds. He wanted another one. That's the only reason to want more kids. My third. And Euphigenia hefts her pickaxe and smashes the console in front of her. Sick. And she really hopes that that dealt with the alarm. But there's no way to know. Okay. Okay. What are you guys doing on the Mac here? I'm climbing. Towards the boiler. We got to get inside of it. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. Get under the plates. Yep. Okay. Do you want to go to the boiler and we can get under the plates?

Love it. Okay. So Ving clambers up the other side and you're standing in front of the boiler. It is colossal. It's just like chamber after chamber after chamber. Boilers, tubes, the little things that are like spoons that spin around. You know? Oh, yeah. The little wheel of spoons that spins for some reason. Yeah. To indicate pressure or something. That's what it is. Yeah. Dials, gauges. There's pipes everywhere. What do you do? Is there a way to open it?

Can I discern realities to see if there's a little… Mm-hmm. Oh, ouch. Plus wisdom is seven. One question. What here is useful or valuable to me? There's like a wheel that you squeak to the side and it unlocks a hatch that swings up from a boiler chamber. Okay. I open it up and I pour in the hibernia water. Okay. This is your last hibernia water. Yep. And yeah, glug, glug, glug. The hibernian water hits the boiler. And mingles with the water that's already in there.

That seems to be like suffused with sort of the inky, sooty, coal influence. Can I put some saffron in there too? I'm just making a whole concoction. I throw one of my saffron uses in there. Yep. Get rid of that saffron use. Nice. And you dump a little pinch of saffron in there just to dabble, do you? You know that. And it drops into the water. And you can see like dish soap and pepper, like that old experiment they used to do. Oh, yeah. With pepper water and the dish soap makes it go whoop.

Like retreat from the soap. The soot does that from where the saffron touches. Billy and Tuck, you're on the front. I would like to figure out like where there's like a gap, I guess, that we can get into. This is discern realities probably. Go for it. Eight. Oh, yeah. You get one question off the list. What here is useful or valuable to me? So the massive front like chest armor plates are hiding what appear to be just like a mass of pistons. And you've dug around in a couple max now.

And Tuck, you had some experience. With M4, like extracting the heart at all. Yeah. It's almost like sheets of muscle. The amount of pistons that are in here. There's like strata of pistons that go down into its chest. And you're squeezing yourself through. It's hard to get in because the sheer density of machinery that's in here. But you, Billy, you work your way in and Tuck, you like pull the heart out of your bag. Yep. And holding it up, you can almost see where it would fit.

And it's quite deep in the machine. Billy, here, take M4's heart. Can you get it to the heart of the machine? Yeah, I could do it. I don't know what it looks like, but TLC do. And I shove the axe in because they're the ones that took it out. They might be able to help you. Yeah. Right. You shove the axe through the gap. I'll drag it with me. Yeah. Yeah. Very carefully through this delicate machinery. Yeah. So I zip my gimp outfit and tuck the heart in and zip it up.

And then I'm dragging the axe with me. You baby with a diaper dragging a teddy bear. Come on, guys. We're going to go find the heart. And you hear a door slam open. Behind you. I look and shambling through the door in the shattered remains of his armor. Thing looks up. Calm. Blackhammer has returned. And in his hand, his sword. Oh, fuck. No. Yeah. I don't like that. I don't like that at all. That's so. Yeah. Yeah. That's so cool. What have you done, Jessica? I fucked up. That's what I did.

That's so funny. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdulaziz. So long. Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Loppers. Take care. Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye. Thank you so much to all of our supporters around the world. If you'd like to support the show and become a patron, you can join us at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. Get access to a bunch of cool shit.

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Thank you so much to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. Thank you finally, and most of all, to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time. And so ends the… Tale of Adventures 3, who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be, for time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more, whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly spout more.!