Episode 4 – A Fire Sale on Apples

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your host, Spout, and I'm your host, Spout. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello everybody, welcome to Spout Lore! Abdul's drinking a massive Red Bull right now, as you might be able to hear. Abdul is sucking on the biggest can of Red Bull I've ever seen. Yeah, I didn't know they made them that big. Oh no no no no no, don't. Don't. Oh my gosh, you're gonna have a heart attack. Nah, nah, I'll never have a heart attack.

Okay, I kinda believe you. I… Don't. What are you, a dactyl? I'm willing to accept that you think that. Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. I think that if Abdul was having a heart attack, you would jump out in front of a truck to make sure that nobody knew that you died of a heart attack. I think that's what would happen. I was right! I told him I would… Fabula the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Yeah, I think you're right, he… Yeah, you would jump in front of a truck.

I would never give… Or a train, something crazy. I would never give anyone the satisfaction of being right. I would plunge his fingers into his own chest to tear his heart out and be like, This is what killed me! It was me! It was the… I did the Kali Ma thing. Kali Mamas, I told you I'd die by Kali Ma. I told you it would happen this way. When last we left our heroes, they had finally gathered the security answers to their password reset in the High Spear, the secret chamber at the top.

The secret chamber at the base of the tower. Thus, gaining the password to the Wi-Fi. Yeah. Oh, that is what we did! Oh my god, that is what we did! We had to reset the Wi-Fi password. Yeah, dude. Oh, man. No. It's on its face, it seems like we have a very boring show. Please go back and listen to the episode. Returning to the door, they entered the questions. Billy's first pet. Many wings buffet the petals of the Magnolia. Ving's mother's maiden name. All water.

And Tuck shared the name of the street that he grew up on. Trying first the Tallow Road. Or not the right answer to the question before giving the true answer. Trying to give it casually so that the other two didn't hear. The Broken Shore. Tuck grew up in some fashion on the Broken Shore. Oh. Broken Shores. Shores? I thought it was Shore. No, Broken Shores. Broken Shores, plural. Yeah. And the door itself opened, revealing an absolute torrent of bright white light and a massive source of light.

A massive source of thalmic energy. What are you guys talking about? A little slit in the middle of the room there, guys. It was like we were looking into an unshielded nuclear reactor. Yeah, basically. A full-on hotspot. A Wi-Fi hotspot created by a wizard many years ago. And created by us many years ago. Many years ago. Waleed the Speaker created a Wi-Fi hotspot as he left this realm. Morris terrified at seeing an unshielded hotspot. Dragged everybody back into the elevator.

But Tuck, Billy, and Vang, being the problem solvers they are, decided that- I thought you were just gonna say problem. Yeah. The problems, comma, solvers that they are, decided the best way to contact Waleed the Speaker, constructor of the High Spear, and creator of this wizard hotspot, was to simply yell really loud into the hole. Oh yeah. And against all odds, it worked.

And it was mainly because of the- And it was mainly because we weren't allowed to write a note and throw it into a barely stable wormhole, essentially. Now when you say not allowed- What do you mean by that? I mean, Sean threw Morris, said it was too dangerous that we might detonate some kind of atomic bomb thing that would destroy the High Spear. There's no way to know. So you just yelled super loud, getting a message through to Waleed and his endless list.

There's a ton of widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz physical pathways which connect all fairies and create the fairy realm itself originating from the icon of questioning so sick very cool so fucking cool great great great the endless and seeing all of the like uh purest representations of the constellations the seed within ving's chest began to sprout so cool oh as he learns things that's how it grows oh cool what's your intelligence minus two minus one how stupid am I uh tuck then passed out and the party took him back to hither and yawn uh to rest up in front of the fireplace like a big sick dog it was that yeah and uh while everyone was recuperating uh billy hanging out near the mail slot found an invitation from prince and queen and he said I'm going to go to the fireplace and I'm going to go to the princep callum blackhammer to a masquerade ball in the city of black glass at the blackhammer palace um assuming that it had to be a trap the party was prepared to crumple it up and throw it in the garbage before a bounty hunter entered through the doors oh yeah jingle jangle went his spurs as he took a drink uh mentioned that he was here to escort the party to the masquerade at the offer of callum blackhammer and that their safety would be guaranteed uh evidenced by the fact that the party was prepared to crumple it up and throw it in the that he walked through the doors of hither and yawn it was a bounty hunter we'd seen before yes at port for frost the bandaged uh bespeckled bespectacled gun wielding bounty hunter with his magical weapon and his magical accoutrement tuck and ving said that they do not travel with strangers and they asked his name before he revealed that he was the long lost villain the greatest threat you'd ever faced lionel mckenzie king the pomegranate the pomegranate guy this that was I think maybe the biggest reaction I've ever given it was up there for sure I'm gonna win the red bull I fucking loved it so much it was great and that is where we find our heroes now staring into the face of lionel mckenzie king a man whose face you may have never even seen before billy doesn't really react he's like yeah can you remind us again your deal remind you of my deal yeah yeah you say we almost killed you when where you're kidding me was it did we meet you in mccall mccall or was it mudlark crystal bay crystal bay oh you were in the back library you've got to be joking we burned down a library and then we also did we burn down the heart we can't remember what we did I mean I mostly remember like the big cow in the library we did a lot of damage to the library something from the store it was outside the memorial library you needed I don't know what to do with it I don't know what to do with it I don't know what to do with it you just started saying that my pomegranates were were so cheap oh and they knocked over my cart and I almost got trampled to death oh wait that car was my livelihood I put all my money into that ship shipment of pomegranates I am so sorry you put all your money into one cart full of pomegranates yeah money's tight pomegranates are expensive oh okay what do you mean oh okay how's the pomegranate business been going bad really bad yeah they are really annoying I am really sorry I don't hear that yeah they are they aren't the greatest fruit yeah do you ever think about having an apple cart oh that would do well they're so cheap you just pick it up it's handheld you can eat the skin he so convenient pomegranate skin not very good he takes a deep breath he releases it he pulls his bandages back up over his face I'm here to escort you to the city of black glass well do you okay we understand that do you want to tell us the rest of your origin story though because it couldn't have just been that right you know what no I don't what what that's a long time ago and you followed us for that long and you didn't even remember so it wouldn't matter if I told you because you'd forget anyways no we will forget and the more I the more I explain I can't promise anything the angrier I become and the closer I am to breaking the rules of this place so I am simply going to take a deep steadying breath just like my therapist suggested and then we are going to go to black glass and then I'm going to leave this place and then we'll see what happens from there okay what if like do you guys want to go to this ball I guess I guess like this is now interesting because we know we're not going to get killed there yeah sort of yeah I mean I'm in to go investigate I guess lionel If that is your real name.

It is. The only words I shared with you contained my full government name. What's in it for us if we go to this thing? Yeah. You don't have to go. But from what I've been told, the safety guaranteed offer is contingent upon your attendance at the ball. Oh, is it like a thing where if we go, then there's maybe a deal to be made? And if we don't go, then he's going to hunt us? I just got paid to come and get you. How did you find us? That's for me to know and for you to shut up about.

I don't like that he knew how to find us and that he could see your heartbeat and that he can see that he knew about the hither and yon. Yeah. Morris, Perel, what's going on with these goggles? Perel and Morris have been like kind of cagey on the outside of the room, not being part of this conversation. Just like. Just like whispering to each other like, what's going on over there? You see fingers come up over the bar. There's a little schnoz on the bar top. And Perel kind of sticks his nose.

Yeah, his nose. Bloink. On top of the wood of the bar. And he looks at him and then he goes, he like tips his lips over the bar. They're magical. And then he hides behind the bar again. Where'd you get them? These? Yeah. And he kind of, you know, breathes. He breathes on his fingernails and rubs them on his shirt. I made them. How did you make them? I have my ways. You're saying someone who decided to spend their life savings on a pile of pomegranates was smart enough to make magical sunglasses.

That's the kind of investment move that my real life dad would make. Abdul says. Losing an entire house on Nortel Networks. Yeah. When you're. Entire life is dashed to the ground before you. You make some questionable decisions in an attempt to find a new way forward. And then I lean over to Vig and I'm like, here it comes. It's his origin story. He wants to say it so bad. Eating popcorn. Yeah, I do. But I won't. You're not getting out of me that easily. I don't know.

I think you really want to tell us. Mother never was. You think I would make a deal with mother never was? I think that is possible. I mean, you did buy a bunch of pomegranates. I may have considered it. Excellent point. Actually, yes, I may have considered it at some point in my life. You see, when I was at my lowest, I considered all possibilities of event. Hold on a second. You're trying to get me to divulge my secrets and it's not going to happen. What if we do it?

They were like, come on, guys. This guy doesn't have any. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. There's not a cool back story at all.

And everyone's put him back down so what's going on here so I guess when he what's the last thing that happened he started talking then he went wait a second yeah and then I I look I'm like look lionel we understand not everyone has a cool origin story and then I look at these two guys and I go come on let's go find an assassin with a cool origin story to talk to and we start slowly putting on our coats over our glasses that we don't have walking towards the door I'm sure there's someone out there that wants to kill us that has a really cool origin yeah pull on my boots and I'm like I know he's got nothing to tell us your boots were off billy's just walking around in socks he's walking around in socks as much as he can I guess it's true yeah he's an indoor boy yeah I'm not an american walking around with shoes on good point good point tuck takes there's a!

There's a giant leather duster and a big cowboy hat on an off coat rack by the door that's just been there that's from our costumes from our reenactments I was like the idea that he takes a coat that he just found on a rack let's get out of here rip one arm comes off rip the other arm comes off so it's sleeveless come on guys as he's put no he's still got the sleeves on they just tore when he put it on rips down the middle throw the cowboy hat and guess we'll hit the old dusted train unless you want to come with us and tell your tale well actually I'm supposed to escort you take a ball we only get escorted by people with cool backstories yeah so that's a one and a three great plus charisma that's not gonna do it no it's seven he's got three charisma this is all right so do you want to tell us why you hate it so much I don't hate it I just don't the character just doesn't I just don't understand because he's so charismatic yeah that's why no I understand that he's charismatic and then bad at other stuff yeah yeah just feels like there's like a lot of plate spinning right now and this is the least important one I'm sorry but welcome to spell lord this is what the show's about he goes you think that's gonna get me and he kind of turns around and cups a drink that amir's put on the table for him what's that what do you want to hear you want to hear that after you destroyed my life I saw I I I vowed revenge at all costs is that what you want to hear I'm not going to tell you that how does a man so low and trampled rise to such heights of goggles and gun after I vowed my revenge and after the burning of the memorial library and the destruction of my precious pomegranates I was I was ready to kill you and I still am I will kill you all three of you one day he starts sliding out the door squeak but not yet but not yet I swear I vow that until my time comes your time has not come and maybe I consider several options for revenge no but not yet but we see a series of flashbacks of him in the background of a bunch of shots yeah you guys are in mccall eating falafels at the cafe outside abu d bro and he's like crouched on a rooftop you guys are in the middle of a room the chandler's district at uh wickport and he's crouched in an alleyway dressed like a candle maker and he looks over I always knew where you were going and I was one step behind prepared a humble break and in crystal bay when I vowed my revenge and all of my options had gone out and I'd been evicted from my apartment like and my boyfriend said that he didn't want to see me anymore because I became so angry and I was like I'm obsessed with revenge which at first I thought maybe he would think is hot but he didn't because of all the pictures that I drew of the three of you pictures like this one he holds up a very crude stick drawing of the three of you I looked at this picture every night wow and I swore that I would find you and kill you most of you are just like shapes like billy's a little circle things a long rectangle and tucks an upside down triangle these images burned into my mind and into my flesh and he opens his shirt and there's a little circle and a long triangle and an upside down triangle or a long rectangle and an upside down triangle tattooed on his chest I look at this tattoo in the mirror every night swearing that I would kill you and my at that time when I was at my lowest a teacher appeared taught me long lost skills takes his goggles off kind of spins them around to the strap on his finger who was this teacher?

That information I shan't share with you until the time is right because you got a seven to nine dang it but trust this teacher wishes your demise just as much as I do whoa what? Why do we do this teacher?

That information I can't share slide him another drink all right no no no no I can't no just it'll make me too angry and then I'll be forced to kill you and I'll be ejected from this place that's all you're gonna know about lionel king for now you have to progress further in the story before you can unlock this conversation thanks for sharing why hey I didn't you got me talking god damn it lionel get it together you're so close to your revenge the time is almost gone he's sliding backwards no wait but not yet but not yet he's like holding it his butt's being pushed out of the bar the chair's leaning no no no no no but I swear I won't do it yet but don't worry you'll die by my hand you'll die he's holding the door open come on please wait wait wait wait wait wait I need you guys to come with me I need you guys to come to this bar I am under contract okay fine fine he will come with you okay so what are we gonna are we gonna walk or are we gonna where is hither and yon right now it's above high spear it's above high spear wait the ball is in the fire fields black glass city of black glass yeah yeah yeah let's just take the hither and yon there oh thank god yeah I walked quite a way to get here I'm not going to you walked here from the fire fields there was you know I walked I took a horse I hid underneath a cart for a few days you stole a horse no I just rode one I didn't say that I bought it or who owned it I just was there and I hopped on you said you took a horse I said sorry yeah we see a horse run by us don't that's an unrelated horse propertively masterly they all wear like a little blanket with brand yeah his blankets yeah and so uh lionel clanks back into the bar his spurs jangling I've decided he does have spurs on I love it and uh he sits by the bar all right let's get this bar on the road okay since you know where we're going exactly you conjure up the intention to take us there is that how this works no tricks there's nothing there's nothing we can do yeah if you're straight with us we'll be straight with you this is a place of safety all right now let's go to the one place I want to go in all the world I want to go to the one place I want to go in all the world the pomegranate store 1999 the year before he was trampled would this pub were a time pub I could go back and right all the wrongs I've made in my life oh mackenzie how I loved you so and all the shutters close and they slam back open and you're immediately struck by the smell of smoke and smog it's got a like a pungent acrid kind of industrial smell smell outside and it is just cacophonous there's music lots of music like hooting pipes and the the rattles of carriages and the clomping footsteps of what you can only assume or you see like mechanical legs walk by outside whoa you are in the city of black glass does black glass kind of have like a victorian steampunk vibe everything is wrought iron though so it's like not brass gears but it's all black kind of I think that's exactly what it is it's like if during the victorian industrial revolution there were actual like robots walking around oh cool and lots of stained glass yep right we said it's a city of uh artisans right various stripes so there is uh there is beautiful architecture the mechanization of the city allowed them the time to dive into art yeah totally as uh they became more mechanized art also kind of was pushed to the side for like mass-produced stuff so there's like newer parts of the city that are uh kind of without that soul right that black glass was founded on so it's like a city of art right that makes sense discern uh we oh yeah no you can roll uh with wisdom yeah uh 10 uh yeah so you get three questions off the discern realities list what here is useful or valuable to me you know what's useful to billy is uh the door opens and uh lionel walks out and he goes ah the place that I want to go more than any and all the world and right across the street is a store called like doug subs and he walks right through the door ah here we go the greatest subs in the world the best subs in the world the best sandwiches and all the princeps yeah I mean I'm gonna I look look both ways of course before crossing a street yep um I follow him into doug subs yeah you go through the door doug subs we follow billy because he's following an assassin that wants to kill him I see a photo of a sandwich I'm like yeah nothing can hurt me in there billy you have no idea what a sub is but the sandwich above the door the sun that there's this there's a long sandwich nailed to the wall above the door of the shop don't know what a sub is but it's a long sandwich but we that's all we ever talk about is party subs party subs yeah oh my god I forgot I don't know what a short sub is a normal we only have ever seen a party sub billy calls sandwiches short subs yeah sub stubs where's the rest of y'all we all think that sandwiches are made initially in party sub form and then they're sliced and given to us when they're smaller yep so there's a giant sandwich on the door above the shop and you all go right in it's a beautiful sight and you hear oh my god if it isn't lionel mckenzie king my best customer this is where all the artists ends up working yeah sandwich artist yeah he's a sandwich artist yeah come on over lionel I'll get your order started he goes ah douglas it's been a long time and he just starts ordering a sandwich I'm looking out the window of the sub place I'm thinking uh what here is not what it appears to be ah what here is not what it appears to be uh okay so you're not going to be able to order a sandwich you arrived uh you assumed that it must have been a distance thing in um black glass where like the all the street lamps are on like there's lots of gas lamps throughout the city and uh it's quite dark and you're like oh I guess like the distance we had to travel means that like the light just changed because like the time is different here but it is as billy can feel through his very connection to the sun it is daytime but it is pitch black here whoa it's absolutely covered in the sun smog yeah the smog okay oh no do we feel that agitation that we felt before oh probably yeah even just like at the edge like chewing away at the edge of your perception you can hear tux has a nose whistle and he's like can you breathe out of your mouth why has everybody been talking about how loud I breathe the last few days um you guys are already snapping at each other yeah what should I be on the lookout for then you would assume billy's going to be on the lookout for you billy uh knowing that it is daytime and that the smog is like completely blanketing the city anyone could be a demon you think oh whoa oh shit demon city anyone in this city could be fully possessed or everyone what did we walk into are these subs cursed as well and you look up and you see italian herbs and cheese mayonnaise mustard salami pancetta provolone green peppers more provolone spinach motadella toasted in the oven motadella but and then toast it again once the motadella is added and then ranch holy shit this is a lionel sandwich lionel sandwich two please right away anybody can get this sandwich at doug subs because I don't actually know how to make a different one and he gets started on another sub so those are your questions and you know we cut forward a little bit lionel's sitting at a table eating a giant sandwich we're all eating a sandwich he's kind of like working it through his bandages why did you just take it off I like the way they feel against my skin makes me feel contained and they're getting real ranchy around the mouth actually that's not a bad idea I feel like we should wear something around our faces here yeah I was thinking of getting saffron from the pub and then wearing a mask like making a saffron concoction dipping some like rags in it wearing it as a mask do I have any on me uh maybe not on you but back in the bar for sure maybe for the ball we can keep the mask on I mean it's masquerade right yeah and I'm already dressed like a cowboy kind of a cowboy stripper actually it's a good outfit it's really formal thanks and tuck starts like swishing back and forth and he's like I like the duster too I feel like it's cool it's pretty good everybody that wears a duster thinks a duster's cool that's what lionel says and I was like your phrasing was really specific also fucking you you're wearing spurs yeah but my spurs are cool because I'm playing against type the rest of me is mummy mummy wearing spurs so the masquerade ball is not tonight but the next night all of the well-to-do people of the firefields will be in attendance all of the most influential families and then also you and then I'll be there as well as a bodyguard to california calum blackhammer as is my current profession you're currently calum blackhammer's bodyguard that's right I'm one of the deadliest men in the firefields this is kind of a cool I kind of like this move that calum did where he's just like I know that they killed my brother so I'm gonna approach them first sort of diplomatically and have my bodyguard escort them here it's kind of cool it's very cunning yeah it's quite a shrewd and cunning move some might say yeah for a tyrant so I trust that I can leave you to your own devices in the city and that you will be in attendance on morrow's night you have our word very well the black glass palace sunset you'll know it by the chimes of the bells all right and he shoves this rest of the sandwich through the bandages right into his mouth he's doing that thing where like he's doing like multiple pushes into his mouth because there's so much sandwich oh my god gomar jingle jangle jingle of his spurs as he goes as he leaves the sandwich place okay all right well we walked straight into the belly of the beast let's go back to the pub let's go back to the bar sure you don't want to explore I would rather debrief with you guys in a safe place before we make next moves I'll have my sandwich to go please you get it wrapped up everyone can get a to-go sandwich at doug's I already ate mine but I'd like one for the road please and one for the bar one road pub sandwich no two two yeah one for the road pub one for the road one for when I get to the pub one for crossing the street and then one for when I'm home yeah okay we don't have any money oh uh let me run across the street and see if mirrors has money you two stay okay and he puts his sword on the on the sandwich bar sword oh my god I thought we stole some money we oh shit I did oh you stole money I stole money from from that masterly guy tux says out loud I have six coins how much is it six coins six coins six coins six coins oh that's not how you do it convenient hey god damn it you should have said you had four six coins please okay doug six coins for two three how many sandwiches he just ordered two he ate one that's five sandwiches and I'm pretty sure lino didn't pay that's six he did not coin each what do you want this is the capital city yeah it's reasonable we live in a city where you could get a burrito for 30 dollars yeah yeah I can't wait to see it I have a 30 burrito people are financing smoothies oh you can buy it on clarna yeah on clarna that's really funny what's clarna it's like a buy now pay later yeah basically or paid installments and they charge you interest yeah probably I don't know well the company's basically swiftly going bankrupt because everyone's defaulting on their burrito loans yeah yeah I can say like I think they partnered with like doordash and stuff and so it gives you the option to like pay that's so funny yeah so you can buy it on clarna yeah yeah you pay your six coins you go back to the door where hither and yon once was oh no oh no and the sign above the door is gone no the shutters look in on uh what would it be uh oh a pig pen a pig pen there's two windows in the door no I like it francis is that you no my name's carol come on in thank you carol nice to meet you our friends we're working for a while for our friend lots of room in here why don't you just open that door real quick and tuck starts patting his pockets and he realizes that his key and ving's key to the back door were in the loincloth and he's wearing the duster now oh he's like yeah if only somebody let me hold on to my own key your key would be underneath a toilet at a best western is where it would be you hear the pig from inside go were you looking for your wallet I think there's a wallet in here just open the door no just open that door real quick I think your wallet's in here with me I open the door the pig comes running out she bowls billy over and takes off into the city where's the wallet I'm free squeal I can't believe he left us we're gonna die over here wait is there a market stands around I want to discern realities and grab some I do have some saffron uses on me so if we want I have three uses oh shit yeah let's make those rags you could probably find a market if you walked around for a bit okay there's a very nighttime victorian england vibe there's like people walking you know like a guy in a top hat walks by arm and arm with another guy in a top hat and a long twisty mustache and they're like tapping their canes as they walk look out everybody there's a bunch of jack the rippers around yeah they could be murdering us at any moment there's a figure in the alleyway with a long cape flipping a knife I guff now why don't you come in here oh my god I've got some real money I want a day there's a lady making pies not not normal meat pies she's rolling out pies come over here pies for sale there's a barbershop above it and I'm doing shivings up here come up here you look like you got a lot of meat on your bones are you the bulk race big fella there's a wee watchers the ripper over there you guys you look up and you see a sign on the you look up and you see a sign on the side of the road you look up and you see a sign on the side of the road a guy runs a alleyway that says ripper lane And we run out.

We don't see this, but it's very much everyone's an actor. So then a shift bell. It's a colonial Williamsburg thing where they just can't replace. Everybody's on the next shift. Wait a sec. This is what they want. They want us running and breathing really deep. Breathe in all the smoke. We're going to have to do. I don't know. I just grabbed some flags from a store, a cart. You just ripping them off a cart? Yeah. All right. So you're making masks. Is that your plan here? Yeah. Yeah.

I wrap them around my face like a mummy. So you all wrap these rags around your faces full of saffron. That saffron's gone. You now each have like a degree of protection. Something's being filtered through the saffron. I look even more like a cowboy. Check it out. Yeah. Cool. So what do we think we need to do in preparation? Well, I guess one, you're lost in the city. It's a pretty fancy event. It's fancy. Costumes? Oh, yeah. There's probably a cart actually. Yeah. Right.

We're in sort of a fake historical section. Is that what we're saying? Yeah. Of an older age of black glass city. It's like a gas town. Yeah. They're trying to revitalize the tourism industry. Totally. Yeah. An immersive city experience. Yeah. There's clothing stores around if you want to wander and find some stuff. You don't have any money to consider. You just spent your six coins on sandwiches. Why did Hither and Yon abandon us here? It was needed somewhere.

I guess it was someone that needed it more than us. I guess that means we'll be okay. That's what that tells me. That's probably true. Should we head towards the palace at least out of this weird district? Yeah. We should probably get clothes. We should probably kind of suss the city. Clothes would help us blend in probably. Discern realities? Yeah. Yeah. Discern realities. 2D6 plus wisdom. Looking for some sort of clothing shop. 12. Okay. Yep. 12. Three questions. What here's valuable to me?

Yeah. You wander these streets for a while just trying to get a vibe for where you are and eventually do find yourself in sort of a like a tailor's district. There's lots of clothing shops of various stripe, but mostly like as you would expect in a place this fancy feeling a lot of like tailored suits and finely made dresses and clothing of all kinds. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hatters. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Finery that we cannot afford. And it seems like there's a lot of people kind of milling about in and out of these stores coming out with bags and there's a lot of tittering about oh, the masquerade is tomorrow evening and we must prepare for the masquerade. I have two ideas. I could either like nick one of these bags or I could do an alms for the poor kind of performance. Okay, here's let me give you a little something to build on that idea.

Because Tuck is saying this to Billy. He's like, Billy, I don't think what most of he's, we go into a wide where you can see his size difference between him and everyone else. I don't think most of these people's hats and clothes will fit me. The clothes you're currently wearing don't fit you. He's wearing the shreds of a leather duster. Your clothes don't fit you. This duster looks great on me. But could you maybe steal like money so we can buy our own clothes that are tailored to us?

Yeah, for sure I could. Okay, so I'll go into thief mode. Oh. Nice. Billy's a straight up pickpocket again. I haven't seen this in a while. Can I support Billy by doing riffraff street rat to see if there's any threats in the crowd that he should be aware of? Yeah, totally. So riffraff street rat, you just get to ask what's the biggest threat here? Yeah, what is the biggest threat?

There are, this is a crowd of high-end shoppers and of, you know, people, there's like a cart selling hand pies or whatever to people shopping around. Eyebrows up. That's the biggest threat right now. Distraction. Pie distraction.

Yeah, he's looking at all the money, but then he's like, but then the smell wafts him and he goes He's like lifted up off the ground like and, uh, but you do see like you hear like a clank clank and on the far end of the lane, uh, walking into view is, uh, a smaller looking version of a warmack. Whoa. That kind of has like a British Bobby style hat. Oh, cool. A cop bot. There's a robot cop. My enemy. And, uh, they're kind of escorted by two other uniformed guards.

There are these mechanical machine officers. We're not at threat here as known commodities for the war. You know what I mean? There's wanted posters elsewhere. Oh, I see what you mean. Like, are you wanted in this place? Yeah, it would seem like as you were walking around, you didn't see a lot of wanted posters. And I think we were given specific leave to be in the city by Callum in whatever like machinations he's got. Yeah.

So actually, I think you see the guards notice you and tuck because you're towering above everybody else and they make eye contact with you and they kind of say some words to each other and then they just keep about their patrol. Okay. Billy, watch out for those cops. One of them's like a robot. I know watch out for that robo car. Yeah, it's about probably seven, seven and a half feet. It looks like it's got really long legs on like the other max, which had shorter legs for running. Mm.

He looks down at his own leg. I'd never make it. You are looking around at the crowd and you see a couple figures in the crowd like maybe two that are like making eyes at each other and spreading throughout the crowd and you see you think the flash of a knife at a waist and a snatched purse. Oh, it looks like there is a gang or at least a couple of pickpockets somewhat finely dressed, somewhat older like maybe late teens, early maybe a little bit older and they are currently working the street.

Okay. All right. I have competition. I would like to try tricks of the trade. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Okay. So that yeah, that's specifically for picking pockets or locks. Yep. Eight. Okay. Okay. So on a seven to nine, I still succeed, but the GM will offer two options between suspicion, danger or cost. So your ankle level with everyone in this crowd, all you see as far as the eye can see is coin pouches. Yeah. Just hanging off belts. People with like little wallets, purses hanging low.

I get in the line to the pie cart behind a couple ladies and one of them has a coin pouch dangling. Yeah. And I look around and I quietly take it. Oh, and tuck in Ving during this are kind of like leaning like next to like an apple cart, kind of like trying to like survey the crowd, see if there's any threats moving towards you. Yeah. And Billy hides this by like tugging on the lady's skirt and he's like, Mom, Mom. Oh, hello, little boy. You're not my mom. Did you lose your mother? Yeah.

Oh, sorry. Oh, come here, little dear. Oh, no, it's okay. I think she went into the other store over there and you like dash away through the legs. And then a few moments later you hear my purse. It's gone. And you guys see the two thieves that you spotted look at each other when they hear that and start looking through the crowd. Oh, shit. Someone's gonna have to give me an escape role of some kind. Okay, so tuck from where he's standing.

He sees that like the pattern of movement for like the little thieves starts to change and they're like zeroing in on where Billy is like escaping. So he's just like, uh, uh, and he like looks at the apple cart. He's like, Hey, this guy's selling apples so cheap. How much for your apples? It's a fire sale. I want apples. Not again. No, no. I have to set up another multi-year villain review. Maybe, maybe not. This will be a 2d6 plus charisma. Okay, so that's five, six plus three is nine. Okay.

I'll aid. Help me. I think it's aiding. And they're the most delicious apple. He just takes an apple and eats it. I got six plus my blonde is seven. People hear cheap apple. Well, apples are the sway sing available to a person like me. You can eat the wrong. You can the palmer. Yeah, way better than a pulver granite granite.

You see the two thieves in their fine suits get like pushed forward by the crowd and start fighting the wave and Billy, you are given basically clear passage to make it back to tuck and Ving. Yeah, I hide. I climb up your leg like to hide behind your coat. Yeah, okay, and there's a that this makes it look like I have a huge ass and the Apple salesman's like, no, no, not me. Apples, not me. Apples.

They'll make you the price a sea of rich people take over and you hear like tweet tweet as the Bobby's start like rushing forward. The giant robot starts moving people aside and there's chaos on the streets and it took us. I'm sorry. I had to do it and you see the Apple salesman make eye contact and start mouthing words through the din. The only ones you make out are never forget and you've escaped with Billy's I'll gotten gains into a shadowy alley. How much did you get? I don't know.

Do I roll? So I look in the pouch. So you're going to roll 4d 10. Holy shit. Yes. Yes. Yes. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. This is so fun. Oh my God. 22 22 coins in a in a very beautiful kind of velvet coin purse. Nice weighty as if she had just arrived for an evening shopping. Yeah, I hand just the coins to you guys and I toss the bag. Okay, smart. Right into a gutter splashes into a puddle. A rat grabs it runs away. It's a nice bag. The rat.

Yeah, we see we follow this rat through a wet alley and it goes to his rat wife where it's making the clothes for the masquerade. We can't wait to go to the masquerade. So excited to go to the rat squiree. The rat squiree. Honey, this is the finest dress I'm ever going to own. I'm so happy. Oh, darling, nothing but the finest for you at the rat squiree. We are going to curry much favor with the rat dowager tonight. And you see all of their children see their parents so in love.

All 90 children watch their parents kiss lovingly as if it was the day they started courting. The king is going to ask us to join him tonight. I just know it. I just know it. And then knock, knock. What's that at the window? A little rat window opens and it's Peter Rat. Come on. Fuck this. I was in. It's a lot going on in this city. You guys got 22 coins. Yeah. Burning a hole in your. Well, there's no bag anymore. So just in your hands. Tuck puts it in the pocket of the duster. Great. Yeah.

So now you've got 22 coins. What are you going to do with them? Let's go to a clothing store. Go to a tailor. Yeah. Go to a tailor. So you guys unfortunately caused a bunch of trouble on the nice Taylor Street. So you got to go to the outlets. You're going to have to go to the outlet stores. No. No. I wanted something nice. No, you're going to blue notes. You're going to Randy River. They're going to have Bobby Jill figure. Bobby Jill figure. I can't even get Tommy Hill figure at the outlet.

So you leave this like ancient beautiful black glass. G and street and you're walking through town. You're like, man, we really fucked it up. And we end up on an alley where it's like thrift stores and like consignment shops and then outlet shop. Yeah, there's some outlet stores much more low class casual shopping. What would a food? What would the food place on this corner be? Meat ends meat and it's just sell the ends of sandwiches subs, but just the butts of everything. Yeah, Doug Stubbs.

Oh, nice. It's just the ends of the sandwiches. People didn't need it. Doug. So there's also an apple cart, but it's like all the bruised apples all the cores. It's called just course apple course. Apple course reaching arsenic rich and apple cores are rather expensive. If you want a cheap apple, you're gonna have to go three streets over, but I heard it's not going so good for him anymore. And yeah, you have a variety of shopping experiences here. Mm-hmm. Available to you. All right, shop.

Do you guys did you believe feels like you wanted to go to the thrift store specifically? If we go to the thrift store, we might be able to make a treasure roll. Oh, yes. Let's do that. Yeah. Okay, cool. Let's do that. Okay. Yeah. So the first thrift store you find the guy really tries to sell you sell you some apple cores really hard. Three chords for three cores. I know. Sounds terrible. You know what? I'll throw in a fourth call for an additional coin. Hey, hang on to your cores.

You have a good day. Ah, you piece of shit. What the fuck? Give me fucking sight. You just watch your mouth, young man. My cores aren't good enough for you, eh? Jesus, it's rough in here. You think you're better than me? My God, I'm just gonna walk away. You'd like it if I ate all these cores myself when you were in fucking dark. Whoa, holy shit. Who hurt you? God, the way there's a and then tuck kills back as we're walking away. I was like, we're with our son, okay?

Yeah, your son looks like he needs some cores to grow big and strong. Is he, are you crying? Might be. Are you okay? It's none of your fucking business. Your son's crying. I don't know why I'm crying. Stop swearing around our kid. He can't fucking hear me, son. I'm making myself cry. I don't know how I'm doing it. I don't know how it's happening. You're making me cry. He can't fucking hear me. I don't even. I don't want to show you me cores anymore.

I think you might have had a mean dad, you guys. He picks up his cart, the handles, and he starts walking away. Cores are falling all over the place. And he walks around the corners to cast you one more spiteful glance as a tear rolls down his face. And you're able to go to this thrift store unacosted. I will not forget his face. You find a thrift store called Leavings. And there's bins of old clothes out front. This is velvet. Kind of. What are you picking up?

It's a huge shawl, but it's like it is velvet, but it's also been worn through in some spots. Looks moth-eaten. Yeah, there's some moths flying out of it. There's a moth family trying to get ready. Trying to get ready for the masquerade. I'm so sorry, guys. It's a moth-scarade. Oh my god. We keep picking the right animals. Stupid episode. Welcome to Spout Lore. There's lots of clothes out here. There's some stuff inside. What's the shopkeeper at Leavings like? Not like that last piece of shit.

I think it's a purple lady. Oh, yeah. She thinks everything's funky. Yeah. She wears a lot of moo-moos. Has big glasses. Is it clover ivy fur? Purple hair? That'd be so good. Possibly. Maybe she's undercover. They're pulling another job. Yeah, it's clover ivy fern. It's clover. She's got lavender hair. It's long kind of frizzy. Yeah, she's in her 40s or whatever. Some grays in there. Big glasses. Purple cloak. Wait, how old is she? In her 60s or 40s?

It's 40 years ago, so she should be in her 50s. 50s. She's in her 50s. She's got kind of graying, kind of purpley hair. Like wearing moo-moos. But she's fully undercover. Big glasses. Come on in. Welcome. Welcome to Leavings. Oh, thanks. Please, what is it that your heart desires? We need fancy wear for a ball. Oh. Well, you've come to no finer place than Leavings. These clothes have been sourced from the trashes of all the most wealthy families in Blackglass. Did you hear that?

The trash, you say? Of the richest families? Of the richest families. Let's have a look then, shall we? He's got a monocle on me. And the tech goes, that's interesting. My first apartment was the trash. My middle name is Leavings. Great, so what do you guys, how are we doing this? You just gonna describe your outfits that you find and then you're gonna have to pay for them? Yeah, or should there be, because we have to hunt, so should there be some kind of a roll to find the thing that we want?

I do like the rolls. It's fun to do the roll. We're doing treasure rolls? Is that what we're saying here? Yeah, sure. Okay, so I think for outfits I think what we're gonna do is ooh, we'll do it like this. You'll describe your ideal outfit, then you'll roll flat. Oh. And then depending on what happens, you'll either get your ideal one or it'll be fucked up in some way. Hilarious. Okay, so who's looking first? Well, I know exactly what Tuck is looking for. Alright, then lay it on us. Cowboy.

So you want like a cowboy hat? I, Abdul, will tell you exactly what I want Tuck to be dressed as. I want to be dressed like Wax from the Wax and Wayne series from the Brandon Sanderson, Cause of Mary universe. Pull it up, Sean. Alright. Which is like, kind of like fancy, like sort of Victorian 1800s era like suits. So like cravats, like those kinds of like when men would wear those kinds of suits but then a duster over top and a cowboy hat. Is Wax the Batman or the Robin? He's the Batman.

Okay, yeah. So yeah, it's like a guy that wears fancy suits. Yeah. And then has like an old west cowboy coat over top. And if I can find some cool steampunk goggles, I thought I thought the Gen Z could look cool. Yeah, you saw a guy with goggles recently, so that's all that's in your head. Goggles on a cowboy hat. Goggles on a cowboy hat. I'm gonna go kind of steampunk. I mean, you're in steampunk town. Very fitting. Try and get a cane. I can lend you my bandolier. Oh yeah, that would be cool.

That'd look good. That would finish it off. It is a masquerade. So what mask are you wearing over top? Oh, mask. So what is a masquerade? It is a masked party. Usually they wear it over their eyes or sometimes some of them do like whole one. Whole faces? Do they have to be animals? No. Okay. It's just whatever mask. The idea is that it is an anonymous party. What do you guys think I should do for mask? Talk ass. Well, you've already got goggles. Well, they're for your hat. Ideally.

Goggles are for the hat. The goggles are for the hat. You could do on the nose. You could make it a little on the nose and have like a cow mask. So you're a cowboy. Oh, that's a good idea. He says and then he's like, okay, I'm just gonna do the cowboy mask. Just do it right. A cow mask? No, no, I'm doing cowboy. Like a bandana thing. A bandana. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. So roll flat to see if this actually happens. Okay, here we go. Please let me look cool tonight. Allison might be there.

Nine. Someone help me. No, this is a flat roll. It's a random roll. That was the part. I wanted to look cool for Allison. You have to accept it. Okay, fine. Tell me. Who are you? Still pretty close. It is very close. So there's one thing that is not exactly what you wanted it to be and undercuts it a little bit. What is it? Goggles? Could be the goggles. Could be that all she has is a cow mask. Now you just look like a cow. Now you look like a cow in a hat.

I like the idea that she's just like, okay, I'm going to live with you. I only have a cow mask. I don't have a bandana large enough for your head. In your size, which I have never seen before. And I mean never seen before. I was once married to a boy who had a huge head and he always wore vampire teeth. And his head is tiny compared to yours. I'm going to be honest. I just don't have it, but I do have. And she holds up a mask shaped like cow's face. Fine. And it'll fit your beard.

Keep you anonymous. That's true. You know what? That is true. Lady, what is your name? My name? Why? No one's asked me my name quite some time. She's a terrible crook. My name is She's looking around. Kesserin Rose. Nice. Okay. Well, she's sweating a lot now. Okay. Thanks for the mask. That was a fake name. I would have it. Do you mean in real life has that name? What? What's your name? I don't tell strangers my name. Smart. Smart. I'm Ving. All right, Ving.

Then what outfit can we help you put together? Here at Lee Vings. I just I think I would like to have a. Are you okay? It's just the voice is a lot to do. You don't have to do the voice. It's fine. We don't know who you are. You can be anonymous and not do a weird voice. She looks around and goes, I don't know what you're talking about. Goes over to the door and locks it and flips the close sign. All right. I'm going to stop doing the voice. My throat hurts a lot. What are you looking for?

I just need some some sort of tuxedo-esque thing. All right. So you're just going for a tuxedo, straight tuxedo. I'm looking for the longest tails tuxedo. Maybe. Maybe a frilly undershirt. Something kind of liberage. It'd be pretty hot if you dressed as tuxedo mask. I think I've already done that too. What are we? I'm picturing a fan drawing of us in these costumes that we're trying to make. There's a fan drawing of Ving as Sailor Jupiter. Yes. Okay. But yeah, do whatever you want.

Ving has the kind of figure that looks good in a tuxedo. Big tux, sis. Tall, slender. Yeah. Just give me a regular old tux. White tie. I got seven. Okay. So it is a tux black suit with the white shirt and the white tie. Yeah. White bow tie. It has no back at all. No back. Just fully backless. Somebody used it to cut a pattern out. Totally. Missing from the front. Looks good. Place is called leavings for a reason. We got this out of the garbage. Okay. So, yep. Sorry. No back on this thing.

No hat? No, you can get a top hat. But it has, it's a spring-loaded top hat and there's a little bird on an arm. That comes out. This is hilarious. I'll take that. Thank you. Yeah, you know what? You look great. Wait, I forgot a mask. Oh, what kind of mask do you want? I don't know. I forgot a mask. Domino mask is a great one. What were you thinking? I was just thinking like one of those like veils that those like lady, the dancer lady. Oh, yeah. Very elegant.

Alright, I'll get a belly dancer's veil. Thank you. Thanks, Billy. Great. Good boy. So, a belly dancer's veil, a tuxedo with no back, and a top hat that a bird comes out of. Yeah. This is ridiculous. Great. What about you, little boy? Billy, he's thinking about Victor because he misses him. I'd like to be a wolf. I think they're the fanciest animal that exists. Okay. Yeah, you know, you're not completely wrong. Wolves are very fancy. So, 2D6 flat. Eight. Eight. She finds you a wolf pelt.

A wolf pelt. You know, the head goes over the head. It's really big. I think that's the problem here. It's really big and long. It's enormous. A wolf, a raccoon, a boy. You're like a turducken. You're like a matryoshka doll. A vanimal pelt. I am like one of those dolls. Yeah, so I think the problem that she sees is like, alright, I've just got this big wolf pelt. It's not really an outfit. Perfect. I don't need anything else. Okay. So, there's just a wolf pelt that drags far behind you.

Yeah, I take my t-shirt off and I… T-shirt? We're across the store watching you do this. What kind of t-shirt is he wearing? It's just his regular shirt. He takes it off and he ties it around his face to be the mask so that his bottom half is covered. The top half's covered. The wolf head. And also, it makes him look more like wolf because no clothes. Right, yeah. Like a wolf. Wild wolf.

So, he's dragging around a big, long, wolf cape with no shirt on, little pants, and a t-shirt tied around his face. And Billy starts, like, walking around on his all-fours. Making wolf suits. You are inferior! He thinks those kind of… And Tuck turns to Ving where we are because we're looking at earrings. What about these? Those are nice. We gotta start setting some firmer boundaries with this kid. He's so little. Yeah. Kesserin Ropes is just standing watching Billy concernedly. Huh.

Hey, uh, your kid's done. And Billy's, um, he's face-to-face with, like, a turtle shell that's leaning up against the wall and he's, like, barking at it. Alright, okay, alright, okay. Oh, no, he's in a dog phase now. He's not gonna pee in here, is he? And Billy's lifting up his leg. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You kid, ugh. Alright, well, you know what? Let's call this, uh, ugh, man, it's a lot of clothes. I mean, these are all garbage. So. Wow. Wow.

Just because I told you that I got them out of the garbage, they're garbage all of a sudden, huh? Yeah, so price it accordingly. Wow, interesting. By the way, your entire outfit is tearaway. Uh, I'm gonna call that two coins? Five coins. Five coins? Five coins? Three outfits, three full outfits, five coins. Is it because this is an actual wolf pelt? That's a wolf pelt. Well, I don't actually think it's an actual wolf pelt. Look, the eyes kind of bug out like a cartoon.

It's a golden retriever pelt. It's spray-painted gray. I'll give you, I'll give you five coins if you're throwing a leash for our dog. Wanna walk your kid on a leash? Uh-huh. He's gonna, like, I lean into her and I'm like, look, he's gonna insist on it. If we don't just get it here, it's gonna be a problem that we don't have it. Okay, I don't have a dog leash, but I have one of those kid harness leashes. That's better, honestly. Thank you. Yeah, I think so, too. She throws it in, five coins.

Okay, cool. We have 17 coins left over. Nice. Pleasure doing business with you. Good doing business with you. She walks over, she unlocks the door. Good luck on your espionage. Shh. Huh? You're doing a good job being a spy. Pleasure. Good luck. You should get out of my store. Okay. And we leave. And you leave. Ding, ding. Door closes. Wow, we look great. You guys leave in these outfits? Yeah. Uh-huh. Alright. And you, so what now, I guess, is the next step? Let's head to the castle.

What time is it? Oh, it's not until tomorrow. It's not until tomorrow. We could camp out outside. Yes. We kind of have enough money that we could get, like, a hotel room for the night. Oh, yeah. Yes. There's an inn that overlooks the castle we could spy from. Oh, yeah. That's a great idea. Good call. Okay. Go to the inns around the castle. Okay. It's the, it's the king's, it's the, god, I should not talk until I have an idea. Welcome to my world. King's is a great start.

The king's, is this the name of the inn? Yeah. The king's carriage. Yeah, that's it. King's carriage. The king's carriage house. Oh, king's carriage house. The sign above the door is a full carriage. Holy shit. A full-sized carriage straining two chains. Jesus. You can hear it as you walk underneath. It kind of goes like, We kind of hustle it away. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Be careful. They have an employee, like, they have employees take shifts, like, holding a third chain just to reinforce it.

It's a guy upstairs right now. His arms are shaking. Hurry up. And, uh, you walk into the king's carriage house. It is, uh, finely wooded place. Uh, there's a bar along one side. Well, a counter, I guess, is what they're called when people aren't getting drunk. With many cubbies for keys and… It's kind of, it almost reminds you of Hither and Yon. But nicer. And all the furniture is uniform in here. It's all made by the same person, which is crazy.

And you're able to, you can get a room quite easily. Hey, yeah, walk up to the counter. Hello. Hello? Welcome to the king's carriage house. We're, uh, we're staying in town for the night because we're going to the, uh, masquerade tomorrow. Oh, going to the masquerade, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's quite a hot ticket event. I know. Would be pretty nice to go to, I think, myself. We'll bring you if you give us a room for free. Huh? Oh, God. Huh? Yo, what? Yeah, why not?

Yeah, we got a plus one, I'm sure. Roll a parlay. I'm sure somewhere on there it said plus one. Flat four. Okay. Oh, shit. I'll take that. Whoa, what a wild failure. No way. So you're saying you can get me into the masquerade ball? I'm saying we could try. I now fully believe that I am going to the masquerade ball and the three of you are getting me in. Okay. That's my reality now. Okay. And you know what? And he clomp, clomp over the wall, pulls the key off, slams it on the counter.

This room for free. Oh, wow. Because you three are getting me into the masquerade ball. Okay. Oh, my God. Me mother's never gonna believe this. Okay. She can come too. Oh, Rodney coming in. My mommy can come to the masquerade ball as well. Oh, my God. Me and mommy going to the masquerade ball. Rodney and his mommy going to the masquerade ball. His name is Rodney. We just learned. And he turns around. He runs back. He opens the door and there's an old lady sitting in a rocking chair. Mommy.

We're going to the masquerade ball. And she goes, Oh, my God. She clutches her pearls. Oh, me pearls. I've never clutched them, Sal. Oh, my God. She comes tottering out. Because of these three, you three are taking me and me old boy Rodney to the masquerade ball. Yes. She comes around. She scoops you up in a hug. Thank you so much for giving an old island woman a reason to live. Oh, Jesus. You'll be okay. Oh, no. Rodney makes sure they get the finest room free of charge. Way ahead of you, mumsy.

And she wanders back, door slams. I have to go get ready for the masquerade ball. Okay. Enjoy your room. And I look so angrily at Vic. And he just picks up the keys. Wow. I wouldn't have even done that. They're going to be heartbroken or furious. What if his mumsy dies? I feel like we could figure it out. First, we piss off the Apple guy. Then we piss off the Apple Corps guy. Then we piss off mom and Rodney. Everyone in this town is kind of like razor's edge so close to breaking down.

It's all that goddamn smog in the air. I know. Speaking of which, let's put our fucking masks on and go upstairs. You haven't been wearing your masks? You guys are being such dicks. And you go over to, uh, there's an elevator. You walk into the elevator and there's like a mechanical torso, head and arms like stuck to the side. Oh shit. Weird. Hello? Hello. Going up? Yes. Room key, please. Put it right here. And he like, a little thing opens in his chest and there's a key slot. Put it in there.

Do I turn it? And it turns. He goes, top floor. Ding. And the door closes. And it goes starts rattling slowly up. Hi. Hi. So you folks, what are you folks in town for? We're here for the masquerade ball. You're going to the masquerade ball? Yeah. What do you know about the masquerade ball? Everyone seems to be preparing for it. It's like everyone in town is obsessed with it. What do you, you don't know, but you're going and you don't know about the masquerade ball? We were invited.

We were invited. Yeah. It's only the hottest ticket event in black glass. Why is it? Happens once a year. It's held by the princeps. Why do people love it so much? Well, lavish food. I understand that people that can eat love that stuff. Music. Apparently great. Gifts? Yes. Everybody receives like lavish gifts. It's actually been a bit of a controversy before. I don't know. I guess before the smog rolled in, people had a real problem with the masquerade ball.

A lot of the city's coffers go to funding these kinds of parties. Huh. But now they're everybody wants it to happen. Everybody wants it to happen and people want to go so bad. It's crazy. Yeah. Ever since the smoke rolled in, hey? Ever since the smoke rolled in, probably fine. Yeah. Probably just a coincidence. How long has the smoke been here? Uh, that's a great question. I guess it'll have been, what, probably uh, when did like the Victoria LaBlanche stuff happen? Oh, shit.

That was months ago. A couple months ago. So maybe like close to a year. Holy fuck. I don't know. I can only see about eight feet in front of me whenever the door opens. And just kind of in this direction and he turns his head like two inches to each side. But from what I hear from people complaining about the weather, probably about nine, ten months ago. Okay. Sounds good. Thank you. And uh, you get to the top floor. Ding! Penthouse suite!

And a little, uh, thing opens in his stomach and there's a little bowl of mints inside. Help yourself to a mint. Thank you. Have a great night. Thank you too. And the door closes and there is just a single door in front of you. Go through it. Yep. Open it up. Beautiful. Fine woodwork. Plush furniture. You've got like a living room with like a kitchen area. Beautiful brand new appliances. Sunk in living room. Ooh, conversation pit kind of style. Sunk in living room. Yeah.

The kitchen is like a multi kind of like oven situation. Whoa. With like little attached pots. Like in the hither and yon? Yeah. Nice. Nice. Beautiful. That's cool. One more thing about the kitchen? Hot water on demand. Hot water on demand? On demand? Yeah. From the constant roaring fire. Whoa. Yeah. There's like a, like huge French doors that open on to like a kind of like Jasmine from Aladdin style like balcony that like overlooks the palace grounds. I always wanted that balcony. Yeah.

It's huge. I always wanted Jasmine's room. Yeah. And it's got like, it's got trellised. It's got trellises on either side with like plants growing up it. Flowers and like a pergola over top with more like vined plants over top, which are seem to be having a tough time in the lack of light. Yeah, it's not blooming. No, it's definitely not blooming. And then, you know, off to the right side, a couple other beautiful stained glass French doors that open into a massive master bedroom.

And here you are. You're home for the night. And as you're walking around, Billy, you spot just like off the sunken living room, a small, beautiful little ice chest. I go up to it? You open it up. Inside there's many small bottles of delicious drinks and little chocolates and candies, little bags of nuts. Billy, don't touch. Don't touch those. Sorry. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I just, let me, and Ving goes up and I want to discern realities on how fucking expensive these things are.

Yeah, you can see pretty clearly. There's a menu on top. These things are unbelievably expensive. Look at this. Bag of nuts for coins. Whoa! For coins for a bag of nuts? Do you think there's a way I could eat this stuff and they wouldn't know? Like I could put other stuff in there and they wouldn't charge us? I mean, normally other boys? No. You? Maybe. You can switcheroo, yeah. Billy? Billy, what we've always told you is if you can get away with it, you should do it. But now I'm suspicious.

I'm like, why is there a bunch of stuff in the middle of the room just for me? That is quite a thing to take from this situation for Billy. I would like to do trap expert, please. Okay. 2d6 plus dexterity. I mean, it's absolutely, okay, so 7. Not bad. Alright. Is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? Is there a trap here? You have to assume your thief instincts taking anything from this little ice chest would cause unimaginable financial hardship upon your family.

They did this to us on purpose. They knew if I took it that they this is how they rob us. It's like a robber, but in box form. Don't touch it, you guys. That's a great idea, Billy. Billy's just like arms spread in front of it. Don't come over here. Don't worry. I'll lock it up. Okay. Thank you, Billy. Yeah, so Billy starts getting like more and more hungry. Yeah, more and more hungry. And then he like pulls some strings off the curtains and he's like locking up.

He's like, I'm not falling for this. There's no way. Rich people are so stupid. So what's your plan for the night? I want to camp by the window to watch the guards. Yeah. The city has a weird vibe, right? Yeah. It's a fucking crazy place. The smoke is really messing with people. Like it's making them crazy and compliant, it seems, and also sort of angry and sort of crazy. Yeah. Maybe tonight I can commune with the whispers and just get an idea of what's going on. That's smart. Yeah.

So I'm going to go out on the balcony and do a communion. Yeah. With my saffron mask. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good. All right. Sitting out on the balcony, you go and you set yourself up a little meditative place. Yeah, get a little cup of mint tea. Yeah. Is that a rub with me? 2d6 plus wisdom, I believe. Yeah. It is. Ooh, nice. 12. 12. So this is a vision with a clear meaning. What are you trying to gain here? Clear and helpful. How can we best ensure our safety?

And I guess maybe like what's Callum's game here? Intention as best as we can gather. It's kind of tough because you are surrounded, absolutely surrounded by demonic influence right now. The smog in the city, even from your meditative place, you're like looking up, seeing this dense layer of deep, dark coal smoke hanging over this place, lit from below by the kind of ever burning gas lamps, creating this image of like a sky on fire. Oh, yeah. The orange clouds. Yeah.

Birds coming in and out of it. Yeah. Dipping down and like back up the plants around you, like gripping to the pergola and the trellises are like sickly without the sunlight. I think that's part of the spirits. The resident spirits are very, very unhappy. Yeah, totally. The nature here is as you saw in the coal mines, like the very, like the natural world, the spiritual realm is in this place corrupted by the scale of the demonic influence. Like the breeze is not refreshing in any way.

The wind barely blows. Keeping the blanket of smog above like still everyone like it's all so crowded. When you look down like tuck is looking over the balcony and it's like everyone is jostling and shoving and everyone doesn't look great. Yeah, people are pushing past each other and like masses of movement and there is a real feeling of a populace about to snap. Yeah, there's a lot of shoving like get out of my face. Like people are like very aggressive. Yeah.

In what in what way you think they're going to break? You're not sure but you do feel like, that it is it is soon, but the caging of the spirits by the demonic influence. You feel like this won't be as simple as like an elemental mastery to clear this place. You do know that if you wanted to help trying to find a way to reinvigorate the spiritual aspects of this land would be a huge step forward in terms of visions that are helpful to your current situation.

I mean, it might be that it might be that like any spirit, any help that you can get from the spiritual realm or any, any way that you can help the spirits here would be greatly appreciated. Maybe as we get closer to the palace, there's less of a spiritual presence. Oh, yeah. The plants, they've really stripped it back. It's very, yeah.

You think back on like your walk to this district and the intensity of the natural erosion that's happening in the plant life is greater the closer you get to the palace. Interesting. It's like false flowers and false trees and vines and stuff on the way there. Yeah, there's more like as you get closer to the palace, it's more like a metal rose. Yeah. Rot iron waterfall. Yeah. They're sort of the natural is giving way to the man made. What does the palace look like?

I'm imagining like you know, an old palace when buildings in old cities for rich people like because it's still in a city, it kind of has to fit the structure of the city. I was imagining like big rectangular building. That's really nice. This is what I'm saying. I can't. I'm imagining like Buckingham Palace, which looks like shit on the outside because it's just a big cube. I bet like the original palace has been added on to. So maybe the like original one was built from like stone and iron.

That's the big box part. Yeah. And the like and stained glass and stuff. But then they've added on like black glass. Yeah. Gothic. I was picturing quite goth. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Like lots of spires. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Totally. Spires made of black glass. And so they're like, yeah, they're like jutting out of different parts of the of the original building. Yeah. Is it huge? How big is it? I think it's quite big. It's like Buckingham Palace. It is.

It is a royal family's palace like Coleman Callum when they were both alive, like lived here and probably grew up here. Yeah. Massive indoor court like a giant parks. Yeah. Within the walled city. It's almost like the Vatican. Like it's a city in among itself. Totally. And I bet there are more recent additions that look quite vicious in comparison to the old construction, like sharp and angry. Yeah. Sharp angular glass construction of like the black glass of the city that you have to assume.

Coleman Callum commissioned it once they took power. It's so fucked in. Tuck is like he's been looking over the balcony while Ving is meditating. Well, first he made a dog bed for Billy. He's loving it. Still going around in circles trying to find the perfect spot. This is really tiring. I don't know why they do that. Yeah, I put a bone in the bed. Can't be a chicken bone though. He'll choke on it. Yeah, don't chew this too hard, Billy, because you don't have actual dog teeth.

That's a really mean thing to say. Holy. What the fuck? I have no idea which way Billy was going to take that. That's so rude. How could you say that to me? How could you say that to me? That's a really mean thing to say. Oh my god. Raising an eternal fairy is so hard. You have no idea. You have no idea. You don't know what you're talking about. But yeah, I gave, I apologized to him after I said the teeth thing. I was like, alright, go to town. That's a really mean thing to say.

Billy's chewing it down to a small point. Like a weapon. Oh, nice. Bone knife. For tomorrow, just in case. I also do have a bone-handled knife if you want it, Billy. Why didn't you tell me that before I did this? Starts chewing on it. Thank you. And then Tuck is like, you are not allowed to talk to me like that, okay? Fine. I speak to you with respect all the time. Not the last episode. Ving says from his meditative state. Thank you, Ving. See? That's a whole lot. Why would you lie to me?

Tuck walks over to Ving and he's like, I expect you to fucking back me up when I'm trying to deal with this. When you're off fucking doing your stupid meditation shit and I have to deal with this alone. Put your mask on, Tuck. Yeah, Tuck, you're like fuming at Ving and you look up at the smog in the sky and you go, right, right. I see what's happening. Billy, listen to your father. I angrily just break some of the trellis.

I just throw it on the ground and I go and Tuck is like, he's used to cities. He's like, he's seen cities. This city is fucking weird. He's like staring at it and he's like, what the fuck? Why does this city make me feel so uncomfortable? And he notices, the thing he notices is that there's, in addition to the jostling and the anger and the sort of manic energy everyone has, there's no fucking way to deal with this. Funeral banners. They know their king died.

There's nothing, there's no funeral rites, there's no proclamations, there's no announcements, they're throwing a fucking party. I was like, the city makes no sense right now. That's a great point. So yeah, he's just like something is really fucking wrong with this place and he wants to use demon eyes to inspect the castle. Yeah. He's a trap expert, but just with demon stuff. Yeah, totally. Here we go. Five. Fuck, what's my wisdom? Six. Somebody help me. I can help you.

Billy, stop chewing on Okay, so ten. Billy, stop chewing on the bone. He's doing his like little binoculars at the city. Okay. Looking around. Do you want these? I do. Thank you, Billy. You just hold Billy up like binoculars? Yes. I love when you do that. That's what Ving says. I love when you guys, do that. It's so cute. I'm holding him in the crook of my arm. It's like he's like putting his things and it does let me see into the castle. What do you notice? So what are the questions?

Is there a demonic influence here? And if so, what is it? But we know that already. It's tyranny. What does the demon do when activated? We sort of know that. And then what else is hidden here? So what else is hidden here? What else is hidden here? So you're looking around and you're realizing, like you're looking at all the people in this kind of perpetual night brought on by the blanket of smog and the way that it's just affecting them in their day to day.

You're like, oh God, gotta do something about this. Like we have to help these people. Yeah. And we also sort of low-key. We didn't promise Colm to save his brother, but he did ask us to save his brother. So there's like a thing there too. And I think you're looking through the windows of the palace basically with the binoculars trying to get a layout. You see guards moving around not in any way that would allow you. You know, map their movements or something, but also ducks an idiot.

He wouldn't be able to. You see them moving furniture around inside like they're preparing for the masquerade. They're in some kind of furniture moving detail right now. He says to Billy and you see at the very like top of the palace in a window. What must be Callum Blackhammer a lean man, you know, shoulder length ish, but finally swept back red hair like his brother not nearly as powerfully muscled.

As you at first assumed Colm to be wearing very finely tailored like black silk, like a casual suit. This is at home. Does he have a midway down his long hair is kind of kept with a black velvet bow, you know? Oh, yeah. Beauty and the Beast times. He's got his hair tied with a black velvet ribbon. Super angular features. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's looking at the window at the streets below the people milling around the palace outside the gates.

Of course, he's got in classic kind of insidious guy fashion, a glass of what appears to be wine. He's sipping and you see him turn over his shoulder as as if someone calls to him and he nods, laughs, says something back, and then he's joined at the window by a tall, lean, blonde haired woman. Victoria LaBlanche. Oh, fuck. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. Fuck. Game Master Sean O'Hara. Fuck! My wife's here. Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdulaziz. Oh, no! She's my wife!

She's still my wife! I forgot that! Ding the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care, everyone. And Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Goodbye. Thank you to all of our susporters around the world. If you're listening to the show and you susport us, thank you so much. We wouldn't be able to do the show without your support.

If you would like to susport the show and get access to bonus content like the up-to-date Mall Brats feed, merchandise, games run by Abdul and myself, and more, find us at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. Thank you to Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music. If you would like to hear all the music produced for the show, you can find that at Spotify. And if you want to hear Aaron's original music, aaronreid.bandcamp.com.

Thank you finally, and most of all, to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time. Fuck. Tuck is like, I'm going to get fucking stabbed again. I know it. I know it. She's stabbing me again for sure. Man, we should have bought healing potions. That's what we're doing tomorrow. That's what we're doing tomorrow. There's a liquor store down at the Corpian Wine Store in the lobby. Fuck. No. Shit. Something about this family and this clan, they keep stabbing me through the chest.

They can't get enough of stabbing me. Yeah. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3 who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly spell Dawn