Episode 10 – Aboard the Clearwater

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Welcome back to Spout Lore!

I'm your Game Master Sean O'Hara Oh, this guy again Welcome back to Spout Lore, I'm your Game Master Sean O'Hara With me as always are players Paul, Abdul, and Jessica Hi Okay, so, Billy is in the, is hiding still in the room, listening And we'll cut back a little bit to Ving and Tacoma, who are with Nori Who you've recently turned to help you out Yeah There's a ton of work going on with Lelouch You know, 10 meters. Okay, give me your clothes now. What? No. Do it. Why?

Because I want to wear them. But you're so much bigger than me. Yeah. He'll wear them in different places. He doesn't have to wear them like you wear them. Dude, do you know anything about infiltration? Yes. I'm a thief. Okay, then you know you have to give me your clothes. You're going to have to make a roll. He doesn't want to give you his clothes. He's going to just be naked at night in the mud. Two. Take a point of experience for failing. Nice. You're not getting my clothes.

It's just not happening. Well, you know what? You're not a team player, and I don't appreciate that. Look, I'm happy to help you, but I can't give you my clothes. It's not even going to matter. Look, you're seven feet tall. There ain't nobody on Mudlark's crew that's that big. Big old beard. They're all pale, too. They're like clammy little mud folk. And you're like a wild man. You guys are terrible at this. You're going to have to find another way in. Well, if we all got naked. Yeah.

We all got naked. Look. We just got to get in this boat. Yes. Get in the boat. Okay. Help us get in this boat. Yeah. What's the best way in? All right. All right. You're not going to want to go in through the front, obviously. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to draw their attention. I'm going to give you all an opportunity to slip in through the side. What side? Where is the side? Is it a port? It's a port. It's a port. Through the side.

You remember that there are stories of secret methods of ingress and egress. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember. Well, it's where they used to pump out the bilge. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we have to climb up through the bilge, which is gross. Yeah. So we should probably get naked. Okay. I'm mostly naked already. That's true. You just wear like a loincloth. Yeah. Okay. Vings takes down most of his flaps to merino cuffs. Okay. And a little like flappish loincloth. And he's all scrawny and being like, yeah.

You look good. Thanks. Thanks. You didn't have to say that. Even you guys are weird. Here, check this out. Can you do this? And I like flex my pecs and make them dance. Vings flexes pecs and toots a little bit. Oh, cool. All right. All right. You know what? Okay. Here we go. We're doing this now. I'm going to go. What's the signal? What's the signal for us to get in? The signal is, hey. And he like starts running towards the entrance, like the main area. All right. Let's go.

I wish he would have yelled like further away from us. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we go. We head over to the bilge. Okay. You can see Nori like making a fuss up at the front and they're starting to lose interest. So you don't have a lot of time. So only one of you is going to get in this way. Okay. Why don't I be something like a hummingbird? I'll get in through the hatch and you fly in. They're like just a door. Yeah. So Tacoma scampers in through the hatch. Wow. It's gross in here. Yeah.

It's not good. It's like old. It's old and dirty and gross and smells bad. I want to be a hummingbird, but just staying with him. I just hovered in the middle so I don't have to touch the sides. All right. Well, you're going to roll a 2d6 plus your wisdom for shapeshifter. Seven. Plus your wisdom. Oh, it's a seven altogether. Yeah. All right. So you get one hold. Okay. And I mean, if you want to spend the hold to sneak in, like that'll be the hold you get to spend.

And then you'll be a, you'll be Ving again. What do you mean? I have to, I have to try and get in sneak in. Well, cause you, cause when you, when you can either make a move, like roll again to make a move as a hummingbird, or you can spend your hold to just succeed at something. And then, but once you spend your hold, you would just be Ving again. But I can just hold. Yeah. I want to sneak in. I want to sneak. So you get a plus one to one stat ongoing while you're in this form. Okay.

And I get to give you a minus one. Okay. What's going to get me in with sneaking? Sneaking would primarily be like dexterity. Dexterity. Okay. Yeah. Which makes sense for a hummingbird. Yeah. And also you're going to take a minus one to strength. Yeah. So yeah, you can roll your defied danger dexterity. Eight. Plus one with the dexterity. Cause you're a hummingbird. Remember? Oh, so it is a nine. But you do get a, you do get a plus one. So remember that. Okay.

So you slip in just as somebody is like rounding the corner to where they'd be able to catch a good look at you. The hatch closes behind you and clicks, but like cracks in a weird way. It's not going to. Open back up. Fuck. Oh, so you're not going to be able to get back out this way. God damn it. It's okay. We'll find another way. I'm sorry. I don't know how strong I am. You're so strong. Thanks. It says this as a tiny hummingbird. Cute. I stick my tongue out through my gills. Oh, gross. Ew.

God. You got nine hummingbird gills. That's so gross. It's a good trick though. Do it again. I give you a more wet willy as a. This is getting. All right. You guys are inside of the clear water now. Okay, cool. I'm just going to pad along. Can I hear voices or anything? You hear like creaking. It's weird because like, though it's on solid ground, it creaks every once in a while, like a ship at sea. Cool. You know what I mean? Like that. It's the haunted, the haunted waters. Yeah.

Well, I heard because it's sailed through the sea of graves. Whenever a ship sails through the sea of graves, it takes in the water. Yeah. And it has like a. Transient magical element to it. They used to where I come from, we used to call them ghost storms. Yeah. And even ships in calm waters will experience a ghost storm where they won't know when their sails will fill and they'll tip over. Yeah. And it's, it happens. It corresponds with the sea of graves when a storm happens there. Oh, cool.

So when the sea of graves is storming, it sends storms other places. It sends storms to any ship that's gone through it. That's cool. And like the more a ship passes through the sea of graves, the more water the wood takes on. And you guys are having this conversation, a big man in the hummingbird in a hole in a ship. How did you, where did you hear about that? My babysitter told me. Oh, cool. And you guys. You had like an au pair. Yeah. No. No. This is great improv. This is great improv. Okay.

So you guys are in the clear water. Are we still in the bilge? Yeah. Basically, you're in like a tilted room with like broken chairs and old. Yeah. Dusty barrels and stuff. Okay. Well, yeah. There's like a film of mud and dirt on everything. How are we going to get old Billy? Yeah. We got to find Billy. And speaking of, we cut back to Billy, who is in the room behind Muckraker's office. Is the door locked to her office? Like, am I peering through?

You're peering through like a hole in the wall behind her office. Yeah. So it seems like you've just, you've just come in at basically the end of a little, little discussion. And you can see Maggie's kind of stressed out. Okay. Bring him, bring him in. The orc leaves and she comes back in holding a mayor Etienne Boggins. Maggie looks at Boggins, hard eyed Etienne. I really hoped we wouldn't have to have this discussion.

There was a break in earlier and we found this and she holds up the metal case. Oh shit. And, uh. With his doobies in it. Yeah. Yeah. The metal, the metal case that Billy stole from the mayor. Caroline, did he have it? Did he have anything else on him? And she comes forward with the stone box. He said, we found this in his house. It's, it's amazing to me how quickly someone forgets who got them where they are. You wanted to be mayor of this town. I wanted to help you.

And this is how it's going to go. She says, no, please. And he says, take him away, Caroline. And, uh. What's Caroline sound like? Caroline's the orc. I know. Yeah. It's just. Sure thing, boss. She's got like a deep, like it's, I, I, I don't have a man's, I have a male voice. I can't do a woman's voice for a while. It's deep, but it's, it's feminine. Sure thing, boss. Great. Great. The jackalope from fucking full house. That's what we needed. Boy, oh boy.

Uh, so yeah, Billy, that's what, that's what, that's what you see. Uh, Caroline drags Eddie and out and he's like, no, no, no, no. He's like clacking his heels. I feel like I should do something about my ground. No, no, no, no. And, uh. Does he die? I gotta know. You can't know that. Um, and, uh, Maggie's left there with the box. She picks it up and, uh, goes down to like one of the lower levels in the corner of the room. She yanks up this like kind of trap Dory spot.

She goes down and, uh, she comes back up, closes the door, replaces the board. She like puts her face in her hands and she looks distraught. And then, uh, Caroline comes back in, says, we need to get this box out of town and to the vault as quickly as possible. We can't afford any more delays. And, uh, Caroline leaves and, uh, yeah, Maggie's there. She's like rubbing her face and she's really stressed out. And, uh, she just kind of gets up and paces a little bit.

And then, uh, she also leaves the office and when she leaves, you hear a click and she locks the door and the office, her office is closed. And then, uh, she goes back to the office and she goes back to the office and she goes office is empty. I'm going to go pick that lock. You're in a separate room, but you could crawl through the hole probably. Yeah, I'm going to try to crawl through the hole. Actually, yeah, give me a Defy Danger dexterity. Eleven. Damn, yeah. Dexterity is Billy's thing.

So, yeah, you creep through the hole that you were listening through. You squeeze your chubby little body through it. You don't fall. You don't knock anything over. And you pad down to the ground and you are… So gentle. Yeah, so gentle. And there's like, you know, there's like lamps. It's illuminated by like oil lamps and stuff like that. So I'm in her office? You're in her office. Wow. It's like the tiered steps. And there's a fine desk and there's all the fancy stuff.

And on the desk are the remnants of a meal of sorts. There's like a goblet with a little bottle of some sort of liquid next to it and a plate with some bread and cheese and some mushrooms and stuff like that. Yeah, Billy's gonna go have a quick snack. Very quick. Very quick. Just gonna eat it all. Just gonna eat it all. You're gonna eat the whole thing? Yeah. Except the goblet. Yeah, except for the alcohol? No, he's underage. Alright, yeah, you spend… And he nodes it.

You spend some time savoring a plate. You just eat it really fast? Yeah, he's just really hungry. Shove it down. Shove down this plate of food. Wow. Done. Down the hatch. Okay, so now that he's fueled up, can I look around? I probably should have done that first, but… So what are you looking for? Where'd that box go? She put it in that vault? In a hatch. In a hatch. In the corner of the room there's a hatch. Like there's a board you pull up that reveals a handle.

Yeah, I'm gonna try to get in there. Okay. Yeah. Is there a lock that I have to pick? It is not locked, but the board is in there. So you're gonna have to try and tug it up or something. Okay, I'm gonna… Yeah, I'm gonna try to pull it up. I guess I'm not very strong. That's gonna be a divide into strength, yeah. Oh, thank god. Eleven. Eleven? Yeah, exactly. Did you want two sixes? Yeah. Dang. Okay, so you kind of like… It's really heavy for a small beach ball kid.

Okay, I'm just gonna shove it to the side a little bit. Yeah, and there's a little step ladder going down to a below-decks area. It's a good thing I ate. I'm so strong. Now. I'm gonna waddle down and try to get to that stone box. Down here there are… Sorry. Oh, that's okay. There's a lot of dust. That's so dusty. I wish they cleaned. Dusty shit. I wish that box was the box of Kleenex. It could be. Who knows? So, down here, it's like utilitarian. And it is clean.

It's like surprisingly clean down here. Oh, this sets off alarms. Billy's head. Yeah, why's that? He's like, maybe there's a trap. This is… Oh, alright. Yeah, so you want to do your trap master? I want to do the trap expert. Alright, so what is that? 2d6 plus… Dexterity. 2d6 plus dexterity. Oh, fuck. Five. No. Five plus your dexterity. No, that's five. Okay, so that is a failure. You're like creeping down the steps, like keeping an eye out for traps?

And when you reach the bottom step, you hear a little twang and a bunch of like click, click, click, click, click, and the upstairs hatch starts like straining, and then it snaps and it slams down. Oh my god. Cutting back to Ving and Tacoma creeping through the hallways of the clear water. Oh man, I wish that guy gave me his clothes. You reek. We both. No, you don't, because you're a fucking… God, I'm so conspicuous right now. I'm really self-conscious. I'm also a hummingbird.

It's gonna be really loud in this boat. Oh yeah, so you… Okay, so you guys are creeping through the hallways and you hear a slam. I go to that slam. I go to that slam as fast as I can. Okay, so you're zipping away. Yeah, there's like little vents and stuff. Yeah, you're like cutting through walls and stuff like that, and um… You get to where you think, if you were to just go straight, that's where the slam came from, but there's a person there. And they're like picking their teeth.

So if you were to go past them, or if this dude sees a hummingbird, he's gonna be like, what the hell is this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can either go through and let him know that you're there and find out where you're supposed to go, or you can go back. I think I should go get Tuck and let him know hey, well, you were gonna kill the guy. Why? What? He came up to me and he was like, hey, what are you doing here? And I panicked. And I killed him. What are you wearing? I took his clothes.

You look ridiculous. I, okay. I'm gonna honor your choices. But I am gonna ask that you roll a Defy Danger strength. Nine. Eleven. Fuck. In your face, game master! I just killed someone! Master of this game, bitch! Still me. Technically, according to the rules of the game. It was that guy I killed. Okay, so, I mean, yeah. I did kill the guy. So yeah, you come back and Tacoma's standing there. There's like a guy with a broken neck. Like, heaped up on the ground, totally nude.

And Tacoma is wearing what looks like would be the clothing of a baby that was turned into a man. A sailor baby. Yeah. Exactly. So you've got like tight leather pants that only go up. Like they've ripped up your leg. And a tiny little shirt that's a vest now. Cool. But it also goes up to like the bottom of your pecs. Hey, check it out. Okay. Yeah. So that's the situation. You've reunited. What's the next step? I'm gonna just put this guy in this barrel. Great. You shove a guy in a barrel. Okay.

He's in the barrel. Let's lead the way. I'm gonna lead the way. Follow me to Billy. Here we go. Yeah. So I rest on your shoulders so we can be a little quieter. You have already apparently killed the guy. That was patrolling in this area. So he's dead. But Vang leads you to the corridor that connects to where he believes the slam came from. And there is a guy sitting there still picking his teeth. He's really got something in there.

Now that I'm in disguise, I can pretend that I'm part of the crew. I could go in there. Yeah. You could be like, dude, I found this hummingbird over here. Come check it out. Yeah. What? That might not work. What's up, Sean? You are not in disguise. I want you to understand that. You are seven feet tall, over 300 pounds. I just started yesterday. And everyone here is from malnourished mud villages. Hey, crazy mud weather we've been having here recently. Yeah. I'm like, no, let me…

I'll try and… Okay. So do you want to spend your hold to distract this guy and lead him away? Yeah. Okay. We can do that. We'll say that you just spend the hold and you… How do you distract? You just zip up and spin around his head like a little cartoon? Oh, I go in his ear. I give him a wet willy. Ah. And I just… I can just get away from him. He's like, what's that? And then you just fly away. Yeah.

I get in front of his face and I boink on his nose with my beak and then he comes after me. Okay. And then he's like, what? Come here, you little bird. He tries to chase you down. Okay. So that hallway is clear. But you do hear a couple sets of footsteps coming. Okay. Yeah. I try the knob. What happens? Oh, the knob? It is locked. I go, fuck, it's locked. And then I just rip it out of the door. Defy danger strength. Fuck. I'm going to go in the door. I'm going to go in the door. Five, seven.

Seven, really? It's going to be pretty obvious that there's no doorknob anymore. Well, that's the choice that I made. You're damn right it is. So just try it, doesn't work, and pull it right out of the door. And then the door goes and swings open. It's a burden to be this strong. Billy, underneath you hear like clomp, clomp, clomp. Oh, God. Through the floorboards. I've already pissed myself. And now I'm vomiting. Oh, my God. Yeah. I'm really scared. You're not even doing anything else.

I'm really scared. You're just scared? Okay. It's dark in here and I don't know what to do. And it's been a long time since I've been alone. And I don't know what kind of cheese that was, but it really upset my tummy. I'm really stinky right now. Shit. So you… Can I smell him? Can you smell him? Oh, I'm stuck under that thing. Oh, okay. Yeah, he's underneath the deck that you're on right now. But you're in a very opulent workspace. Yeah. There's a big, beautiful desk.

There's an empty plate with a goblet and a bottle of wine next to it. There's weird suits of armor. There's a big tapestry. It's beautiful. Oh, can I fit in one of the suits of armor? No. Fuck. They're made for people much smaller than you. I get back to the room. Oh, have you left him? Okay. So you spent your thing. Does he turn back into a human? Yeah. Oh, right. When I spend my hold. You already turned back into a person. Why? When I left him. Because you spend your hold, you lead him away.

That was what the hold was for. And after you spend that hold, you have no more hold left. Okay. So I'm a person. You're a person. Sorry. You're not a bird. You… Oh, and I don't have any clothes on. Okay. So… A merino fuzz cuffs. Wait, did you… Oh, right. You took all your clothes off. Yeah, before we climbed into the peltry. And you didn't bring anything with you. So you don't have your weapons. You don't have anything. I have a spear. I always have my spear. I never leave spear.

How'd you get your spear in here? Oh, right. Okay. When you're a bird, actually, when you shapeshift, all your stuff shapeshifts. Yeah. You knew that all your stuff was going to turn into a hummingbird with you and you still got naked? I was trying to impress Tuck. Okay. Yeah, I got to check something. And I don't need this big cloak. Okay. So you lead him away and he's like, I'm going to get you, little bird. And then you turn into a naked man with crazy hair and a spear.

Sure, but I led him away. Yeah, you led him away. And you still succeeded. But he is going to sound the alarm because you turn into a person. I have to silence him. That's what that's… Oh, you want to kill this guy? Well, that's going to be a hack and slash, my friend. Okay. So that's plus strength. So I'm at plus one for strength. You're plus two. Oh, fail. So yeah, I got three. Yeah, that's not a lot. That's not a big number.

When you turn into a person, he's surprised for a second, but he draws a sword. Okay. And you stab at him with your spear. Okay. Okay. And he just smashes it to the side, cuts the head right off. Of my spear? Of your spear. I told you it was unbreakable. Motherfucker. Yeah. So he cuts it right off. God damn it. My unbreakable spear. That's what he said. You broke it. You broke my unbreakable spear. Is that sword magic or something?

I immediately put down the pieces and get down on my knees like, whoa, he's so tough. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you get down on your knees and he's… Because he broke my unbreakable. He's got you. He's got a sword at your throat. I might have a sword. I might just start following him around. The spear breaker. Yes, spear breaker. Sure thing, master spear breaker. Do you really like writing this guy letters? Yes, spear breaker. I want to be just like him.

I will never forget when you broke my spear. And he starts calling like, hey, come here. I got somebody. You're trussed up, arms tied, back to the office. Billy, you're still here thumping around. Okay. So it's pitch black in there? It's pretty dark. There's some light filtering down from the boards above. Okay. I'm going to feel my way and see if there's somewhere I can hide. Oh yeah. You can… There's a little space under the stairs, basically. Okay.

I'm going to feel my way and hide under that. Okay, cool. Because I feel like, is someone coming? Tacoma, you're in the office. Are there papers or anything I can read? Do you read common? I just want to… Yeah, I can read, man. I thought you were illiterate earlier though. How am I writing songs? If I… I'm illiterate. I don't know. Maybe you speak a different language or maybe you write in a different language. I can read common, but I guess at like an eighth grade level. Okay.

Yeah, that works. There is nothing in view. There might be some stuff in the desk, but there isn't like much in the way of files or anything like that. I'm trying to figure out what's going on. Whose office is this? Oh, this would be a discern realities. Yeah. So roll 2d6 plus your wisdom. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven. So you get one question from the list. What happened here recently? What is about to happen? What should I be on the lookout for?

What here is useful or valuable to me? Who here is really in control? What here is not what it appears to be? So maybe what happened here recently is the most logical one. I think so. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. In the far corner, you see a snapped board and what looks like a little ring in the door. Yeah. Or in the floor rather. So it looks like that hatch was probably what made the slamming noise. Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm going to go over there and open it. It is stuck fast. Okay.

Just rip it open. Okay. Defy danger strength. Is this Billy? You hear a thump. Oh my God. Thump. Thump. And then you hear like, creak right above you. Fuck. And like the light is blocked out. Okay. Billy just like pull out his fucking knife or something. Yeah. Yeah. He. Yeah. He. He's going to pull. Yeah. He has. Yeah. He has weapons. Yeah. You have weapons. Yeah. You have a knife and a short sword. He's going to pull out his dagger and he's like trembling. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

And while I'm going to open it, I'm just humming. Oh, humming. I'm going, the moon is big and she loves me. When the moon is out, I'm safe. And you hear, Billy, you hear like a. Billy would pee himself again if there was anything left. And he's just like. He's just like, oh my God, I regret everything. Yeah. I regret everything. Every decision that led me here. Oh, 11. Yeah. You fucking. 13. Are you just trying to rip it up? Yeah. Crack, crack, crack, smash.

And then like the hatch is ripped up above you and like floods into the room that you're in. And above you see the face of Tacoma. Oh, thank God. Billy. Oh my. Oh my God. Wait. Could you hear what I'm saying? You heard what I was singing? No. Okay. I thought it was a monster. I wasn't singing. Or one of those orc ladies. It's fine. I got the box. Whoa. What? Yeah. Nice. Hey, Billy, what do you think of my clothes? You're not. I try not to think about them. I just accept what it is.

What do you think of this leather vest? I don't like it. Okay. Billy's just stressed out, like top to bottom. He's covered in piss and vomit. Yeah. Billy's always covered in something. And mud. And mud. Because he had to swim through the mud. Man, oh man. Hey, we're going to give you a bath after we're done here. Oh, I don't like that either. What? What do you want? I just don't like it. All right. So Ving, you have a sword at your throat and the guy called a couple other guards to him. Cool.

Your arms are tied. You're on the ground. Into the room walks the orc. The orc woman and Maggie Cole. Oh, I was going to say demand audience with Maggie Cole. Oh, well, got good news for you. Sweet. Maggie looks at the garden. She's like, what happened here? Who is this? He snuck into the room. He was a bird. He was a bird. Now he's a man. I'm still kind of trying to work it out. And she like puts her hand on his shoulder and she's like, don't worry. Don't worry, Rick. You did what you could.

His name is what? Rick. He'll always be a spirit breaker to me. She like crutches down in front of you, Ving. And she said, I remember you. You came to my bar. You played that song about some sort of sex demon. And now you're here. Common thief among thieves. But when you when you steal from a thief, you're a different sort. We don't like double thieves here. And she says, what are you? What are you doing here? Yeah. I came for the box. I don't know what you're talking about.

The Ving keeps eye contact with her and slowly like thick water pouring down his body turns into the exact replica of the stone of the box. What? And flares his gills. Hold on. So you're turning into a stone box? The stone version of Ving. Oh, you're turning into a stone man. Into the stone, the material. Oh, but with like the shit on it, like the carvings and stuff. That's fucking sick. Do it. Roll those dice. I want you to turn into a rock man and fuck these people up. Four. Let's say.

Holy shit. Yeah. I froze my wisdom. Yeah. Well, three holes. That's a lot of power. Woo. What was that? Those are other shitty old dice that always give me three. I failed every single roll. Oh wait, did you roll with the bronze ones? Yeah. Yeah, you actually just threw the dice. These are Sean's dice from his teen years. Amazing. I'm viewed with nerd magic. Wow. I don't know if teen, early twenties at least. No, I remember you pulling those out. Well, I don't know if you're a nerd or a nerd.

I was at Will's house back when. You acted like a teen. Like Ethan. I don't know if Ethan was there, but back in the day. They're cool guys. I can feel the virginity in them. Oh, that's me. That's fine. Let's get back to the dramatic coolness of Ving turning into a stone man. The stone man. The stone man. So what do you do? Well, I wait to see what she does. But okay, before we do that form crafter, you get a plus one and a negative one.

You're going to get a negative one of dexterity while you're a rock man. Okay. And you're going to, what do you want a plus one to? I guess strength probably makes the most sense or constitution. Strength. Okay. Well, what if I did to wisdom? I don't get another hold, do I? No, that's not how that works. You get three max. Once your hold spent, you go back to normal. Just remember. But I would like to stay a rock band for a while to convince them and not get hurt again. Yeah.

So you can spend two of your three. Break the bonds. Okay. Grab Caroline. I grab Caroline. Cool. Okay. Yeah. So you, you stand up as a rock and it's not even like snap. You just move and the ropes. Break. Well, I'm moving very slowly and with lots of purpose and keeping eye contact. Slowly. Yeah. Slowly. And I mean, purposefully Maggie goes like, wait, she like puts her hand up. What do you want? I want free passage with my friends and to know about the box. It's just your friends.

Are there others here? You let Caroline go. You promised safe passage. I promise to speak with you. Then I will decide. You turn back into a man. You give up your. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? You let Caroline go. You promised safe passage. I promise to speak with you. Then I will decide. You turn back into a man. You give up your weapons. If we're going to have a conversation, I want it under the auspices of cooperation. How am I supposed to trust the leader of a mob?

Mofioso of a mob? Mudfioso of the mudfia. How can I trust you? You're the mob boss of the mudfio. Jesus. Yeah. She's. She's. She's. Are you finished? We'll be alone. I'll be unarmed. You'll be unarmed. I'm not turning into a man until my friends are here and I'm guaranteed safety. Okay. All right. We can. I think we can manage that. Let Caroline go. No. Or do I have to? I trust you. You seeing of sound character. That's a 180 from five seconds ago, but all right. I'll crush you like a. Fuck.

Okay. Let Caroline go. Okay. Maggie leads you. To her offices and you guys can hear us. And she, yeah, she's lying. She walks in. We hear stuff coming. Your butt is so my butt is hanging out of these leather shorts that I'm wearing. I'm wearing a leather vest and then I'm like, fuck Billy hide. Where? I don't know, man. Anywhere. And then I push over the suit of armor and I grabbed the helmet and the spear and I'm like, okay, just pretend. Just pretend like you're supposed to be. Here.

What's around me. Like the hatches underneath you. There's a desk. There's like a potted plant. I'm going to hide in the pot plant. The pot is big enough. And the shrubbery. Yeah. The shrubbery is like big enough to hide me in the box. And so I kind of wiggle in the box here. So while you're doing this, Maggie, you see Maggie Cole walk in and behind her is a stone person. And you. You see the obvious body Tacoma with a helmet, like perched halfway down his head. Like a yarmulke.

And you see one of the potted plants like moving a little bit. What do you do? Well, first of all, my heart melts a little bit. Does it still look like him? Does it look like you? Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. No, I made my. Yes. Yeah. It's it's. Also have stone gills. And you guys. Yeah. He's got. You know, to look for my gills. Moving back and forth. Yeah. So you see Ving what you assume is what I don't want to. I don't. I don't want to give them away right yet because I wouldn't do that.

Well, well, the thing is, is that Tacoma is just wearing a helmet. Oh, yeah. He's already standing next to a shattered pile of armor. Maggie goes, what in the diamond hells is this? This is one of my friends. What the fuck, Ving? I was disguised. You were. I'm sorry to give you away. I'm sorry to give you away. My fault. She says, take that helmet off. We have a temporary truce while we figure out what's going on here. Oh, you form truce. She's going to tell us what's in the box and let us go.

I did not say that. I said we would talk. Okay. During this, I'm going to hide the box in the pack under my my outfit. Okay. Can I? Are you still hiding in there? Or I'm still in the bush. Okay. So if you want to hide, like, even more. Yeah. Give me a defy danger dexterity. Cookie. Seven. Plus. Nine. Nine. So you can shove the box in there. Like, you can cram it underneath you and, like, kind of bury it a little bit.

But you're going to move around enough that they'll know you're in there, but they won't necessarily know that that's where the box is. That's fine. Okay. I'll act like I'm coming out. Okay. So, yeah, you, like, stumble out of a bush. Well, you look like you're stumbling, but you're actually trying to, like, hide the box in a nice way. No, it's with me. Oh, it's with you. Yeah. I'm hiding in my pack. Okay. Okay. And I already rolled a nine. So I get to. So that's already happening. You have to.

Okay. So it's, like, in your backpack? Yeah. Okay. And then you, like, stumble out of the bush and she says, and the child as well. Great. Great. We're gonna have to up security around here. Yeah. Your security is atrocious. Yeah. I am realizing that. Thank you very much. We climbed through a literal hole inside of the ship. I don't know how you knew that was there. Frankly. There's this pretty good album called The Hulking Rex.

In the Shadows of Shattered Vests, where there's, like, a 45 minute song that's specifically about this ship and, like, how it used to be a smuggling ship and all the little compartments in it. And then there's a reprise called Clearwater Reprise at the end of the album. Pretty good. There's, like, a pretty good sitar solo in it. Like, I'd say arguably one of the best sitar solos in all of speed metal. And there's, like. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I think he says it rocks.

And then he looks around like, eh. Eh. Eh. Eh. Yeah. Rocks. Yeah. Caroline's, like, at the door and she's like, I like Justin's lament. And she, like. Maggie looks at Caroline like, Could you please close the door? That guy knows what I'm talking about. She's still inside, but she closed the door. Maggie walks around and sits at her desk. First things first. I would like to know why you are trying to steal from me. You know.

Honestly we don't really know either I'm sorry what we're kind of just doing stuff you're just kind of doing stuff I think that we were meant to get that box for you in the first place because we were getting that box from the frog people for the mayor why are we here that is something I would love to know hold on let's just try and think back you are you so are you saying just give me a second no no no no no no no now hold on it's hard to it's hard to think yes I am realizing it may be difficult for you his pants are so tight how would that what's not important it's not important if you are in league with mayor boggins who has recently come into my bad graces I think this is probably the end of our conversation no wait no we're not in league with him because he took it from us and we were like you we got it for him yeah and now you have it so no for me it was for gary yes do you know gary yes I am aware of that guy is so dope he rocks I believe that we agreed that you would uh cease this horrifying stone form I keep eye contact with her and then turn back to a man except my dick and then and then turn back that into a man's dick the worst day I I've had in a long time oh also sorry for trashing your office oh also sorry I ate your lunch yeah it was not very good I believe that the agreement was that we would speak about the situation what are you doing here we want to know about the box I want to know about the box I'm interested it's important but wait that's not why we came here was it yeah we came in to get the box I thought oh what's up What?

Did we come in as a favor for someone? Are you telling me? No. Sorry, it's hard to keep track. Are you telling me that you broke in to my base of operations and you have forgotten why? There's a good reason. I was a bird for a while. I haven't slept in a long time. Off the record, I would like to say I've been thinking about this and there is no reason for you guys to be here.

You guys just want you jump to the conclusion that Maggie Cole was muckraker and that has defined the last four sessions. Can I just like make up a lie and see and like wink at them and maybe they can go. Yeah, you can try and lie to divide Andrew. Do we want to lie or do we want to be on the level? Because honestly, I don't even know. What do you guys remember about the box? That is cool. It controlled those frogs. There's something inside of it. It's holding some kind of spirit.

Which you believe is a wish granting spirit. I believe it grants wishes. Like a genie? Yeah. And then so Gary got us to get the box because the mayor, we were already going to go talk to the Bullywugs. Yep. And then that went sideways when I killed their king. Yep. And then the mayor took our box. Sure. But we're just like she would see our eyes. And then we were at the hot dog festival. Uh-huh. And then. Good meters. And then mirrors took us. We asked. Fuck. Wait, why did we have that thing?

And you guys went to you guys went to the wallowing sow. Because I thought that Maggie's that was muckraker. Yeah. Yeah. Which was right. Yeah. And then we were we were like asking, I think, mirrors or someone like we wanted to find to bring us to muckraker. Yeah. And so I wanted to talk. So we want to. We want to talk to. We want to meet muckraker because everyone talks about muckraker. And I just got to know. OK, so. So that's what happened. Yeah.

And then now we turn around and say, OK, so that, you know, we've been just talking to each other. Yeah. So then you say what's overheard all of it. You overheard all of that. And we're like, OK, so we're OK. We're pretty sure that that's how it happened. I think I shit in a box. Wonderful. OK. So. This box has been a source of constant frustration for me over the last few days. And if you want it. And you won't tell me why you want it. Then we're going to come to blows.

We don't know why we want it. I feel it's. I feel it's important. Very valuable or dangerous. Wait. Dangerous. Yes. Do we want it? No, I don't think so. Billy wants it. Billy wants it. But he's kleptomaniac. But we want to know what's what's the deal with it. It's a lot of weird shit's been going on with this box. Well, what do you want to do with the box? I don't know. Maggie. She says, I need to get. The box in a situation where it won't bother anyone anymore. Do you want us to take it?

How do I know I can trust you? You break into my base of operations. I think you've killed a couple people since you've been here. I don't think that there's any evidence of that. That's a pretty low number. Where'd you get that vest? I found it in a. Thrift store. Yeah, it's pretty nice. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing is we haven't really done anything technically malicious. She sticks one finger in the air and she points right at the hatch that you ripped out of the ground.

That was an accident. That was an accident. An accident. That was because I just wanted to know what was on the other side of it. She says, all right. All right. Somebody's got to roll something like somebody like if like if you're trying to convince her that maybe like to trust you, then you're going to have to roll something because she does not trust you. She does not trust you. She does not trust you. What are you trying to do? Could I? Could I give her something? Potentially. Hmm.

You could. You could give up the box and like just in a show of good faith, just be like here. But in a very childlike way where she's like, how do I know I can trust you? And then you just like very cutely push. Yeah, I'm going to try that. I'm going to be like, look, I'm really sorry. I just really like it. And I figured you didn't want it anymore. And so I just like take it out of my backpack. Okay. And I push it towards her. All right.

We'll say that's a parlay because the leverage is that you had the box and she didn't know. Yeah. And also Billy's hella cute. Also, Billy's a cute little boy. And we have the box. So she has to take it from us now. Or no, Billy's giving it. No, Billy's giving it. That's the leverage is, hey, I stole this, but actually, here you go. Okay. Plus charisma. Oh, no. Six plus. Seven. Seven. Okay. Her eyes are like wide for a second. She's like, you had you.

She looks around and she thinks for a second. She closes her eyes and she like hops out of breath. What do you know about the Exodus? Well, like, I know a lot about it. I don't know what that is. I've heard of it. I know. Isn't it when all the wizards left? Most people understand it as the time when magic left the world. When magicians across the globe. Devised a way to leave this reality for realities of their own creation.

And in the places where they did this, a thinning of sorts, which we know as Wi-Fi. As Wi-Fi hotspots. I really should have thought about that before I took this traumatic tone. That we know as Wi-Fi hotspots. What does that stand for again? I believe it stands for wizards first. Oh, right. Yeah. Where those thinnings exist, magic leaks back into the world. There are several well-known locations where this takes place. Many that I'm sure you have encountered in your sleep.

Your mouth looks off to the side. Wait, why do you do that? I don't want to get into it. Magic exists in many natural environments. There's the Everwood to the north. The Sea of Graves to the west. Oh, yeah. And sometimes those thinnings tear. That can cause all sorts of problems. And that's the sort of thing that I and my compatriots attempt to mitigate in any way possible. As magic has left the world, magical things have slowly lost their ability to function.

And I believe that this box is one such device. No, it's not. The lid is moving. We are losing time. I need to get this box somewhere safe. Or else what? Or else whatever is in this box will be released. Do you know what that is? How much do you know about this region? I don't know. No. Very little. Muddy. Nearly nothing. Nearly nothing. It's mostly hot dog related. What is the region? Like the swamps. The swamps? Yeah. Well, he's like, region? What's a region? What's a region?

Well, as far as I know, this swamp wasn't always here. We know that the river moved. But a river moving does not a swamp create, as the saying goes. What? I believe whatever is in this. Corrupted this region leading to the massive swamp that we find ourselves in now. If the wards on this chest were to fail, what would come out would be much more difficult to deal with. Did you say your organization is concerned with all of these kinds of artifacts? Not all.

But if people get a hold of them, they tend to want to abuse them. How do we know that you don't want to abuse this power? You don't. It's true. That's good enough for me. I need to get this box to a place referred to as the vault. It is built around a subterranean hotspot, and we use it to maintain magical protections. So if we get this box to the vault, the magic will leak back into the wards, and the wards will be strengthened. Oh, cool.

If we don't do this soon, what's in here could be out here. Things surrounding the Exodus are muddy in a lot of ways. Good one. It's hard to… Well, okay. You know what I mean. I love people slaming. The details surrounding the Exodus are blurred in a lot of ways. That's because the Exodus didn't happen at one point in time. Yes, it was a slow process. No, that's not it. The Exodus happened throughout all of time. How do you know this? I heard it on a metal album. Of course.

I need to start listening to more music. That's how information travels in our world. Yes, I'm aware. People write it into songs. I'm a busy woman. Okay, fair. I can't just stand with my ear pressed to a bottle all day. I got a couple of good bootlegs that you should listen to. We'll talk later. Okay. What you need to know is that this box, if anything happens to it, a lot of good people could die, and we don't want that to happen. Why? Why did the frogs? The frogs want it.

Did the frogs want it? Yeah, the frogs had it. That's where we got it from. We just assumed that they were greedy. They were acting really strange. Yeah. It was like they were being controlled by some kind of weird force. A force in a box. If the force in this box corrupted this area and created this swamp, it could stand to reason that it has a connection to the frogs. Mm-hmm. When was the first time someone saw a bullywug? I don't know. I don't know. 30 years? 40 years ago?

So a whole race just appeared 40 years ago. You make a good point. Well, that just gives us all the more reason to get this thing out of town. And I suppose you being the collection of souls that you are. Will puff up. Well, I do. I look at Ving and I also. I puff up and I rip my pants off my wrist. Sorry. No, please. You are. You are. You're a strong. He sure is. He points at Billy and you're skilled. Thanks. Subtle to a degree. I don't know what that is, but thank you.

And you're wise and a power that I hazard to understand. I am not wise. Thank you. Well, be that as it may, I need people in town to maintain the illusion of muckrakers control. And. I can't really afford to send too many people away. So if you're willing to go to this vault with the understanding that if you betray me, we will come for you. Okay. Yeah, fine. I trust you. I don't really want to be here anyway. I say moodily. As he's gathering his stuff.

She looks at each of you and reaches down to a drawer on her desk and opens it. And she pulls out. It's a fairly long. Copper needle. Like a sewing needle. Give me your hand. No. Why? If you want me to trust you, you'll give me your hand. I don't. Okay. She takes your index finger and she pricks it with a needle and a little drop of blood creeps up. Weird. That was weird. Wild man. Shapeshifter. Um, I mean, I'm a little weary because I don't want. Just. Give me your hand. Give me your hand.

Okay. Give her my hand. It's all thumbs. And I look around and kind of wink at tech. This is extremely disturbing. Please. I just need an index finger. I just, I go and turn the middle one into, suppose this is good enough. And she pricks you. Little drop of blood comes up. She says, boy, I extend the raccoon paw towards my own hand. I need your hand. Child, please. I trust you. You gave up that box. But what does that do? This will, it's an insurance policy of sorts.

I don't know what that is, but okay. And so I, my hand. You just go. Yeah, sure. Okay. Insurance policy. I know what that means. I'm an adult. You take, she takes your finger and pricks. It hurts a little bit. Yeah. So that sucks. Blood wells up. And, um, I give you a bit of, yeah. And I try to hold them in. Put some, um, put a little poultice. No, I'm just licking it. And she, uh, Billy, you should let being put a pool. No. And he continues. Okay. Okay. All right.

That, uh, that should cover that Caroline. If you can come here for a second. Ving says, Caroline, sweet Caroline. Oh, okay. It's a nickname. Nice. That's a cool nickname. I like ironic nicknames. Ironic. What do you mean by that? Hey, Caroline, did you used to be a roadie for friends in the water? Ferns in the water? Yeah. Uh, no, but I, but I was on a tour with them. Oh yeah. I'm a songwriter for breach. Oh, cool. Yeah. I like their, I like their one single, which was like breach baby breach.

That was their big one. Yeah. I like Papa. Don't breach. Papa. Don't breach. I like Papa. Don't breach. Papa. Yeah. Yeah. Not a lot of bands just include their names in every song they write. Except sting. Have you heard the solo work from the lead singer? Is it good? Yeah. My favorite song was breach party summer. Is that the name of the song? Beach party summer. Did I get that right? Michael Jackson song beach party. So I don't know. I have to look it up. Just a beach party.

I've never heard beach party summer and Michael Jackson beach party summer. And Michael Jackson put together. So my dad's, that's not a song at all. Yeah. I don't think, damn it. Uh, we're fucking, we're even, where are we? Okay. So Caroline reaches into her, into the like jacket that she's wearing. She's wearing like a short jacket. She reaches in and she pulls out a copper needle. Oh, cool. And she, she really deliberates for a second, who to hand it to. Billy jumps up and takes it. Yeah.

Oh, just really take it. Yeah. All right. I'm going to tuck it into my furs. Yeah. Great. Uh, she says, show that when you get to the vault, why do you guys have so many copper needles? It's the symbol of our organization. I thought the symbol was that rake tattoo. You guys have lame symbols. Maggie goes, no, that's part of the, the artifice of the muck raker illusion. Wow. You guys seem to have like, like a pretty intense branding team. Well, it's, it's funny.

You see this area, people, people just love digging in the mud. And if you dig long enough, maybe you uncover things that you don't want to uncover. We just couldn't risk it. So I thought, what do people fear? The persona of muck raker just sort of evolved from there. So you did it to protect the people from the things in the mud. You can say that. Yes. But you're part of a different organization. I am. Yes. You search out wifi hotspots and crazy artifacts and you protect the world.

That's a pretty high concept way of describing it. But basically, I mean, my view of the world comes entirely from my concept speed metal album. So, so yes, I suppose you could, what's your organization called? Tell us the true name of your organization. Well, I suppose if you're in our employ, uh, we're called the menders. Oh, cool. What kind of benefits do we get? Yeah. You have a benefit of not living in a world overrun by other worldly terrors. Pretty good benefits.

Well, I guess I'm a little broad. Like, can I get dental? We're still trying to figure out if it's best to leave under the cover of darkness or if it's best to leave after the festival when everyone's leaving. Right. We still have to take Dan back. Who's Dan? We said Colonel Dan. Oh, I forgot. The current. The meat man. Yeah. He's the reason we're here. The meat man. We just kind of take jobs as they fall in front of our faces. Yeah. We're really not planners. We might not finish this job. Wow.

But we will try our darndest to do so. Yeah. We get distracted very easily. Wow. Spectacular. Uh, and as you guys were talking, there was like a thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, I grab the box. It's time to go. Time to go.

The box is heavy, so I'm going to scramble on to tuck and hold on to his fringe. Okay, cool. Okay, great. Maggie stops you on the way out, and she's like, get to the vault. Do you have a map? Where's the vault? We did not discuss location at all. You're going to have to trust me on this. There's a way to get there, and it makes more sense than it seems to. And she runs to another side of the room and opens the door and runs in and comes back out with a little cage.

And there is a little black and brown cat in it. Cute. And she shoves the cage into your hands and says, she'll lead the way. Just trust her. Wait, do I let her out? Not yet. I wouldn't. You'll have to trust me. It's time to go. Wait, I need a leash for your cat. The cat tells me that she's comfortable in the cage and that we need to leave. Okay, you can talk to animals. Yeah. Cat's like, can we go? Word. We need to get this pussy out of here. Yeah, you're like hustled out of the clear water.

When you get outside, it's like bad. Everybody's running around. People are panicking. And there's a lot more guards, people on the streets than you've seen up till now. Wait, who spiked Dan's food? We never asked about that. You didn't. Caroline, did anyone? Do you know anything about this? Not that I can remember. Guys, I think it might be time. It's time to forget Dan. I already have. Obviously. Still has your amulet. He still has my amulet. We gotta go get him. We can't leave him behind.

I want to throw a tantrum, but I have to be an adult, I guess. And you're also on Tacoma's shoulder. So there's nothing you can do anyways. Can we get horses or anything? We need to get to Dan now. Yeah, somebody like runs. I'll roll. I'll turn into a horse. Okay. Can't turn into a horse. What? Why? Because it doesn't apply to your environments. Your environments are the Great Forest and the present north. Sure. Elk works. You've been an elk. Yes. No elk. Eleven plus wisdom. 13. Great. Wow.

Three hold and you're a magical elk. Get on. We're going to Dan. Okay. It's pretty sick, actually. Yeah. So you got a little cat in a cage. Caroline, are you coming? No, I have work here. Okay. But we trust you. Just don't screw this up, please. Please don't screw this up. Yeah, whatever. See you later, Caroline. Bye, buddy. Click up. Click up. You're a cool guy. I'm a woman. Yeah. So it is pandemonium on the streets. The guard is trying to mobilize, trying to organize in some way. I forgot.

This reminds me. Wait, hold on. What? Why? We should have told Maggie that the mayor wasn't in on any of this. It's too late. She'll figure it out. She's smart. Fuck. We might have fucked that guy. Yeah. We'll fuck that guy. Whatever. Yeah. He was an asshole. He was an asshole. And you get to the center of town where the wallowing sow is and the hot dog festival proper. And yeah, people are freaking out. There are people throwing stuff in carts, trying to pack up as quickly as possible.

And there are people building barricades. And in the middle of it, are you looking for Dan? Yeah. Tuck's just screaming, Dan. Dan. Dan, we have to go. It's not. It's bad. And Dan's like where his booth was. And he is trying to salvage basically anything of value from it. Just leave it. It tastes like shit anyway. Dan, we have to go now. We have to go. Why? Why? What's happening? No one said anything. No. What? Look, can you not see?

And then I gesture to the hills where an army of Bollywugs is coming. He goes like, oh, okay. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet.

Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Where's the amulet. Like, okay, let's go. Yeah. We're not taking your cart. There's no time. We can't carry that. I can't. No. Why would we not take it? Because we have to get away faster than the cart. And he needs to leave his garbage. I mean, food. Okay. Dan, get on thing. There's three. There's two people and a cat. Dan, get on your horse and leave your cart.

He's like, one second. I'll be right back. No. Did we forget anything? That kid mirrors. We don't care about him. Yeah. I don't know. I kind of liked him. You guys. Yeah. You end up helping us out. He helped us out. He'll be fine. He's resourceful. He's not in the town square. Mirrors. No, no response. Just yells. Just screams. And more like horns. Where's Dan? It's taking a while. Yeah. And then he comes back and you see Dan riding around the corner on Daisy on his horse. Okay, cool. Let's go.

I say, hey, what's up, Daisy? She's like, what up? Let's clop out of here. Pretty exciting, huh? Not bad. And she hustles off. So you. You ride out of the collection. Basically back the way you came. Because you know that's the way to the city, at least. Like some relative safety. The thing is, as you start going that way, the cat in the cage starts like meowing and like pushing in the other direction. We have to go back. Why? She says we have to turn around. No, this way. This way. Okay. Yeah.

And she. That's like back into where it's the shittiest right now. She's like, it's this way. It's faster. It's faster. I trust her. Okay. Okay. Fine. Yeah. And she tells me her name. Okay. Oh, she tells her. Her name's Wicker. Wicker. Yeah. Beautiful. Follow me, Daisy. Yeah. You're just back through. And Dan like whips his horse around. And you're riding through the center of town. I take another look around to see if I can see mirrors. You can't see mirrors. Yeah. Yeah. You can't.

Unfortunately. What's happening is a full on fight. Now the frogs are getting much, much closer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That they are sort of turning towards you. The mass. Like not a huge. Not that. Not all of them, but a large portion of them have broken off and are coming towards you. Fuck. As you're riding away. What do you do? Can you go faster? Yes. I go faster. Okay. So you can spend a hold to like haul. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

You really start moving. And. Cat, where are we supposed to go? So this way. This is the right way. Cat, tell us. She's saying to. I can't understand you. She's saying to Vang like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like facing forward. And there are frogs that are gaining on you. What do you guys. How do you guys deal with this? Oh, God. Okay. I still have throwing daggers. That's true. You do have like two throwing daggers. Are they that close? Yeah. They're close enough that you can throw them.

I'm going to hurl a throwing daggers. I'm going to hurl both of them. Okay. So that's a volley. Okay. So that's plus dexterity. Okay. Nine. Nine? Nine. Nine. So with volley. You deal your damage, but you have to choose. You have to move to get the shot, placing you in danger. You have to take what you can get. So that's one D6 minus damage. Take what I can get. Your damage is a D8. So you roll a D8 and then you subtract a D6. So five minus two. Five minus two. Oh, the damage is two. Yeah.

So you know, you do like cut one like along the side as it's running at you. And it like slows down. It slows down quite a bit because you cut it like it's not a stand up fight. You're basically just trying to slow them down. Yeah. Oh, we just need to slow them down. Yeah. Just so you can get away. I'm out of daggers now. No, you still have one left. Oh, I thought I was throwing both. I thought I was doing a cool throw. Okay. Well, you still have one to throw. Yeah.

I'm going to throw the other one. Okay. So I'm going to do math. I'm sorry. Oh, 13. 13. Okay. Yeah. So you just deal your damage. Just roll a D8. Sweet. That first one was practice. Six. Six. Okay. Yeah. So there's one like one slows down and another one takes its place and that catches a dagger right in the front of its head and it just slides on the ground. I'm going to use that move where I convince them to fight each other. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. I use it.

So roll 2D6 plus charisma, which is a bard move. I'll look it up real quick. Seven. Eight. Nine. Describe that. What do you do? Like I have to sing to them, right? Yeah. Okay. Okay. I hold one of the elk antlers and I go, hey frogs, why don't you kill your friends? Your friends are gross and pieces of shit. Your frogs make me want to be sick. And the problem is your friends are losers. Your friends are pieces of shit. Kill your friends, not us. Your friends are the ones who make you feel bad.

Kill your friends, not us. Your friends look like they masturbate in public. Okay. So one of the frogs overcome with the music just chomps right on the other frog and it is dead. And there's one more and it makes a leaping jump, like a huge jump. All right. Hack and slash, motherfuckers. 10, 12. All right. Roll your damage. Two. Two. Two. Two. Two is enough that it is definitely injured. If you guys were to like keep moving, it would have trouble keeping up. Okay. Yeah.

So I just like it jumps and then I just take a wild swipe. Yeah. With my axe. Cut his frog leg off. That is like the last of the immediate danger that you're in. I go, see you later, pussies. Around you, the immediate area is quiet and there is just a chorus of frogs in the background. And you guys are relatively safe. And that's where we'll end it for right now. Awesome. Yeah. Thanks for listening to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. And with me have been players Paul.

Oh, you know, in, um, uh, uh, oh, nevermind. Abdul. I really, really, really, really, really, really, really like you. And Jessica. I want to throw a tantrum, but I have to be an adult, I guess. Thanks to our technical producer, West Lord, for doing all the technical stuff. All the beeps and boops. Uh, thanks to Aaron Magoo at Heckler's Bar and Grill for letting us record in their upstairs studio. And thank you to Aaron Reed for the amazing intro and outro music that he has provided.

Thanks for listening. And we'll see you next week. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly spout more. There's a ton of fun. There's a ton of fun. What is that song? Oh, summer's gonna get you.

Is it Beach Party? It's not Beach Party Summer. How is it not Breach Party Summer? That's like… No, it's like Beach Party Summer. Beach Party Summer. The Venga bus is so fun. It makes me want to run. No, not We Like to Party. Is it Got to Be Starting Summer? That one. That's not Beach Party Summer. That's You Got to Be Starting Summer. I have never heard that song enough times to learn. I thought it was Beach Party Summer. I was like, this is a great song. That title doesn't make any sense.

Yeah, it does. It's a summer for beach parties. Beach Party Summer? It's the Beach Party Summer. Okay.