Episode 18 – Don’t Hoard on Board

Hi everyone, it's Fat Billy here. Thanks for coming to listen to our podcast. If you want more podcasts, you can go to patreon.com slash spoutelore, where you can give us some money. And I like money, so I can buy snacks. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in bread. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Hello everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hi there. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica. Good to have you. Hello. When last we left our heroes, they had been delivered the judgment of Hibernia's Oval Council. Kill the man known as the Ranger King, or forfeit your own life.

The party then hit the beach and spent a long time trying to figure out how to get out of a thing that had not been declared yet. In classic Spout Lore fashion, how do we get out of the rules that we don't even know yet? We met Bartholomew. Theodore Tiddlywinks II. Esquire. Esquire.

A quote-unquote lawyer slash barrister, end quote, who said that, you know, he wasn't sure that he could help you, but he'll take some notes and he's got, you know, he's going to start working on a plan to potentially get you out of this gash that has been laid upon Ving's brow alone. Mm-hmm. Billy made a quick visit to a cave that existed on the shore of Hibernia, which appears to hold. Many memories and many mementos from Billy's eternal past. A little home.

Home away from, well, a home at home to visit when he comes home. Billy was feeling very strongly about having to leave Hibernia. It was so sad. It was so sad. Yeah. Jessica cried. I know, I didn't mean to. That was maybe the best acting we've ever done on the podcast. I would say. Okay, so the gash was applied. Kill the man known as the Ranger King in two moons time, or you can do it. Kill the man known as the Ranger King in two moons time, or you can do it.

Kill the man known as the Ranger King in two moons time, or you can do it. Your life is forfeit. The party left Hibernia, packed up the Sunrunner. Tuck made an impassioned plea to the green speaker druid, Savarna, throwing her a small bale of hay after summoning a large portion of the villagers of Hibernia with a Ving-enhanced scream of her name. Yeah. I mean, a plea is maybe a strong, maybe too strong in terms of what I did. I mean. Because I wasn't asking for anything. Not on the outside. No.

On the inside. You were begging, pleading, please love me. And you know what? She didn't. Or at least lust me. And in that way, all of Tuck's actions could be considered impassioned pleas. And then the party headed off. The Sunrunner sailed away into the gray once more, traveling through its impenetrable mists until. Reaching from a stone jutting out of the ocean. Stone. I. Who said that he doesn't care what the council says.

You have broken the accords of the island and he will visit his wrath upon you in due time. And then Tuck and Ving sat with Billy as he hid his tearful face in his anger at leaving Hibernia before being presented with a mimic moth in a cage containing images of his island home. And that is where we find our next episode. We find our next episode. We find our heroes now traveling through the gray. How's everybody been doing? I think it's maybe been a day of sailing slow going.

All he's trying to keep it real tight because you don't have guides this time. So he's just trying to plot his way through. He also, I think, is like aware. He doesn't know it's Jonah is planning. I think we're all kind of like, yeah, he could be anywhere living under the pall of that potential threat. So we're like, what the we got to get out of here as quick as possible and onto dry land. No problem. Towards the edge of the gray. Oh, really? Thank you. Keep on keeping on. Just go to that.

Just leave the fog. That's why didn't I think about that? He rakes his hand across the bow of the boat. Oh, is that where I'm going? Ollie seems more stressed than he's been this whole time. He's glancing over his shoulder. There's a lot of like beer bottles clanking around on the ground. You're wondering like where he got all this beer from. Billy's catching in them and nets as a game. Yeah. He's just tossing them over his shoulder into the water. So I guess. Yeah.

Is there anything in particular that the gang has pursued or talked about that we want to cover in the last day? I think we had like a dinner like a dinner. Maybe we like talked about our plans for when we get there. Well, then let's manage provisions, baby. Okay. What is that? That's the other move where we make dinner. Oh. Oh, cool. Dinner time. Who's making dinner? Yeah. Billy. I think we're all. We should all do it. That's fun. Well, someone's got a role. Oh, Billy, you roll. Yeah.

I'll do prep. Okay. Billy suggests we make a family dinner. Yeah. And we feel bad because we told him that moth was going to die. We were just like, sure. Yeah. Whatever you say. Because after he left, we were like, I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have told him that. I shouldn't have reminded him that everything dies. So a roll plus anything. Wisdom. Uh, 12. Wow. Beautiful. It's a great. On a. Holy shit.

I mean, I already know what one you're going to choose, but on a 10 plus, choose one from the list below. Careful management reduces the amount of rations consumed. Ask the GM by how much or the party consumes the expected amount of food and the food you prepare is excellent. Describe it. And everyone who licks their lips takes plus one forward. As if anyone would pick the not. I know. Yeah, exactly. Of course you would pick that.

I'm not even going to tell you what the second one is anymore because the other one's the most fun. Yeah. Yeah. We all want to lick our lips at each other. Okay. Yeah. Let's hear it. What kind of meal do you make? Um, we're making like a macaroni and cheese with hot dogs because that is what Oleander has on board. Yeah. He's like, no, it's the perfect meal because the macaroni is dry already. So it keeps for a long time and the hot dogs are already cooked. Like they're smoked.

So they stand, they keep for a long time too. I've had these hot dogs for three and a half years. But the cheese is the hard thing to make. Yeah. Yeah. The cheese is not so good. We can use sea cheese. What's sea cheese? It's a foam that gathers on the shores of the North after a storm. Cool. It's like a byproduct of, um, an algae. I'm sorry. This, I'm not making it sound good, but trust me, it's fucking delicious when you mix it with hot dogs.

I mean, the only other option is like this old bread that looks cheese flavor. Like a blue cheese. It's, uh, it's not cheese flavored, but it is technically kind of cheese now. We can put our hands together. Yeah. So where do you get this sea cheese from? You said it is on the shore. Back flips off the side of the boat. B-I-B. And where, so where does Ving go to get this cheese? Just along the shore. They're along the shore. So we can see. He just finds a shore. Yeah.

There's like a little alcove, you know. Gotcha. We have to wait for slack tide, of course. Then I come back with a, like a, a net, empty net. And then I hold it. I'm like, I'll be right back. Come back with a bladder full of cheese. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, so you throw it in the macaroni and hot dogs. Yeah. And powdered bread cheese. Yeah. I'm like crumbling the bread with my hands.

It's because it's so hard. And I'm like, Tuck, you can cut the hot dogs and I'll make the cheese. I do that. I take the waning knife and I'm like- You're cutting hot dogs with the waning knife. I love it. And I'm like, this is what it's for, dude. Is it? Is it? Chuck says that to the ghost of chives. Yeah. He makes spider dogs. Nice. Oh, hell yeah. Everybody loves spider dogs. He's like, Billy, look. Whoa. It's like a, I don't know what that looks like. Spider. Oh. So good.

I thought you were going to say he makes porn scorpion dogs. That's so funny. I'm going to do that now. Spider dogs and porn scorpion dogs. Can I roll to see how much it looks like a porn scorpion? I don't know why you would. What is it plus? I don't know. Dexterity, I guess. Dexterity. Zero. So nine. Beautiful. It looks pretty much like they both kind of look the same, but depending on what you say it is, you can kind of see it, you know, his eyes widen. Oh, they look too good.

I want to fuck this hot dog now. And Billy's getting really sweaty with the bread. So it's kind of turning into like a cheese. Oh, it's not so gross. When I make the potions. Wait, you use your sweat to make the potions too? Yeah. When I make golden root. Oh, gross. Billy. You make friends with the heck? Yeah. Where else? What else am I going to use? Yeah, you're right. Like regular water? Ugh. It doesn't taste the same. No, there's no shame in using the juice that falls out of your body, buddy.

No body issues in this family, right? Body juice. Delicious. So here was what we've got. Macaroni and porn scorpion hot dogs with mushy bread that is turned into sweat cheese. Yeah. And I did add a handful of paprika and a handful of salt. That saved it. Those are the only two spices that Oleander has. Like we opened the spice cabinet and we're like, wow, this guy is so divorced. It's crazy. There's so many different jars of different sizes and everything, but all of them have either salt.

Or paprika. Or paprika. Yeah. I can't taste any other spices, so I just use these ones. And then on top of that, coastal sea cheese. Yeah, what's stirred into. Stirred in, making a gloppy, cheesy. It looks kind of cheesy. It looks good. It looks good. Oh, and what are these? And I go in the corner of the pantry and there's like a bunch of dried chilies, like whole chilies. And I grab six of them. Oh, dude. I put them in the pot. What?

Now Billy slips it in there just before everybody starts eating. Yeah. Wow. So every once in a while, someone gets a whole chili and just goes. You can't hear it, but everybody's licking their lips. Just go look. Holy shit. Are my lips weird? No, it's just weird seeing so much of them. No, I just never see your lips. Especially your upper lip, because your mustache covers it all. And you're kind of pulling it up right now. Yeah. Okay, get ready. I'm going to lip. I'm going to lip.

We're going to lick this thing for all of us. I choose the non-licking lip. I'm going to take a picture of this so everybody can see Abdul's upper lip. So everybody gets plus one forward to their next roll for this delicious family meal, which even if the food didn't come out exactly like you were hoping, the bonding experience has raised your spirits. Definitely not hygienic, though. No. Well, I mean, it's just your sweat, Billy. No. You can't be hygienic. There is a lineup at the head.

There is a lineup at the head. Yeah. Yeah. Which is, of course, a hole that goes straight into the water. Yeah. But it is getting much use. Amazing. So that was, you know, that was a nice kind of afternoon, evening experience that everybody had. You guys are just sitting around on the deck. The light starts to dim in the gray. Lamps begin to be lit on the deck of the ship. We have a brazier that has like an iron bottom so you can have a fire on the deck. Yeah. That's nice. That's nice.

So you're all sitting around a little fire pit on the deck of the ship. As you sail through the gray. Yeah. So, okay. This is Perel speaking. He's rubbing his hands in front of the fire. I have a question. Do you think it has to be me that needs to kill the Ranger King to fulfill the gash? What were the, what was the words exactly?

And Bartholomew walks up with his clipboard and goes, uh, the words exactly were kill the man known as the Ranger King in two moons time or your life will be offered instead. They didn't say it. They didn't say it specifically though. No, I guess. Yeah, I guess not. Uh huh. Also something that I noticed me, Bartholomew, Theodore Tiddlywinks, the second Esquire, uh, actually reminds me of, uh, Monroe versus Monroe. Yes.

Uh, this was another case that I took in black and black glass where a man had driven his cart through the front of a taco place. And I was able to determine that because it was a horse drawn carriage that actually the horse was driving. This was legally responsible and not the man. He got off scot-free. They killed the horse. The horse was hanged by the neck until it was dead. Uh, but trust me, that horse deserved it.

That horse had a record as long as my left arm, which is slightly longer than my right. Anyways, this reminds me of Monroe versus Monroe in the way that it is not quite similar, but there was a technicality involved. They said kill the man known as the Ranger King. It's true. Not kill your father, Dathaniel, whatever. So what if we just get someone else to be the Ranger King? Uh-huh. Or we find a different Ranger King. Okay. And.

Or perhaps there's something to be said for the, um, the symbolic death of the Ranger King, quote unquote. Perhaps if you were able to in some way abolish the monarchy. Right. Or, um. Yeah, we could definitely do that in two months. That sounds easy. I like the way you're thinking. How many years has the kingdoms in the boreal reach existed for? So many years. Like so many. Ving got one of the chilies. Sorry, my lips are numb. Many, many years. Yeah. You like easily. Yeah.

Thousands, thousands and thousands. So we have two months to destroy a monarchy potentially that has lasted for a year. Yeah. That sounds slightly harder than regicide. I mean, if you've, have you ever regicided before? Is this your first one? Maggie? Me? Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. I've done it. Okay. I did it one time. And what'd it feel like? Oh, uh, well, killing always feels bad. I'm sure you're aware of that, but, um, this one felt worth it. We're eating craft dinner. Yeah.

She's also eating craft dinner. Yeah. Yeah. I think you'll find that it is, uh, difficult, but worthwhile. Endeavor. Was any of them your father figure or no, no, no. But if I had the opportunity to kill my father, I think I probably would have done it. If you know, if you know what I mean, any tips or tricks, Maggie?

Well, actually one, one thing that I have found has been useful in the past is, um, the worst time to attempt to, uh, destroy a monarch of any kind is when they have the support of their people at their back. Hmm. So if you can find a way to maybe turn some of his allies against him, that might make your job a little easier. Okay. So we're back into abolishing the monarchy maybe. Or just deposing him. Yeah. Or just killing your dad. Yeah. You know, I've been thinking on that for many years.

Yeah. Do you, do you want to kill him? No, I don't anymore. I don't feel that I want to. Maybe when I meet him, maybe he'll want to kill me. I have no idea what to expect. Did he for sure kill your mom? Is that why? No one's ever told me that it was him, but I know it was him. I don't know how I know. Well, and this is Perel. If, um, if you share your mother's memories as being created from her, I mean, maybe you have a memory of him killing her. After I was born? Maybe. You think that maybe.

My memories are linked to hers even after we were separated. I mean, we're all, we're all treading new water here. I don't see why it's impossible. Have you ever tried to commune with the spirit of your mother? No. Would you ever try it? Yeah. I mean, I've never thought of communing with her as a place. I'll try. I'll try and talk to her sometime. Okay. So then, uh, the other part of the plan is we're, I mean, two months. That's not nothing.

We don't know how far it is from here to Addernax tower. But we also do know that Shia said that as soon as we got to the frozen North, Dathaniel would be on us pretty much right away. So the plan is go to the North and just rely on him coming to you. Yeah. We can also like bait him too. How? Uh, I don't know. By being generally, I mean, if we're also going to go for, uh, deposing him, we could start a political movement as soon as we land on shore. Interesting. Interesting theory.

Billy, you're the trap expert. How would you bait him out? Oh, I mean, I would just talk amongst the guards and, uh, see if, uh, they have any hot gossip to share and, uh, maybe like, I don't know, see if they know where he is. Oh yeah. That would be a good way to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, probably, you know, there are probably weird little kids everywhere. Perfect. That's all I need. Okay.

Then I guess just business as usual until we get to, ah, stone eyes, stone eyes. Where? Where? No, no, no, no. It's okay. Oh my God. He's, but he's, he's going to be picked up one of the empty beer bottles and threw it, smashes it on the side of the railing. Come at me. Come get me, Pitt. Uh, so yeah, he's around here somewhere. Presumably will be a problem at some point, but. You know, stone eyes is a huge pussy. Uh, I'm sorry I swore. Uh, he's not going to do anything yet.

I'd like to see him try. Yeah. I think he is afraid of the council. I think he is like, there's a lot of bluster there. I think he might wait until you like violate the gash. You know what? I have a feeling he might come in handy. What about the glacier? What are we going to do when we hit Addernecks tower? I ask Perel. Um, yeah. Try. What are we looking for?

Well, I mean, I never saw Addernecks tower, but, uh, tower is sort of like a, um, more an industry term than a descriptor of the structure itself. Uh huh. So I don't know exactly what we're going to be looking for, but it might be. I think I always heard that Addernecks was like inside the glacier itself as opposed to like something built on top of the glacier. Like the tower quote unquote might be the glacier. Ooh. It goes below the sea, the water, like an iceberg, how there's more.

Maggie, do you like the menders set up a vault there, right? Oh yeah. That is right. Yeah. It's a hotspot and that's why we know about it. Cause there's a vault there. So the vault was built in a disused tower, apparently previously owned by Addernecks all water or built by or whatever. So I know that it is inside. The glacier. I know that there is at least one object kept there, a ward stone box, potentially with a wizard inside.

The only thing is that I have not been in contact with the cell in the frozen North in that area for quite some time. How long? Uh, eight years. Oh, so I don't know the state of the tower. I don't know what to expect when we get there. I don't know if anything that I knew about it previously is even still true. Do you know what happened? Well, I haven't heard. I haven't heard from them for nine years. Well, I mean, not for any particular reason.

It's just the nature of the menders is we don't stay in contact terribly often unless we need to. Right. It's like a disparate network or whatever. Yeah. I only know of the cells and I really only know their leaders, the one in the North and the one in the Blacktree principality where the other box potentially exists. Who is the leader of the North cell? That's a great question, which I of course know the answer to. I haven't told you that.

I know the leader of this cell and that leader's name is Matawan. He's a good guy. Yeah. He's trustworthy enough in the past as trustworthy as a mender can be really. Do you have a second name? Just Matawan? Uh, I actually don't know, but I'll try and make contact when we arrive. Uh, and potentially Matawan has other assets, but, um, yeah, that's really all we know. Kind of generally where it is and that's it. How do the vaults operate? Is it like the one that we found in the?

In the riverways where it's like, there's just like an autonomous golem there that kind of manages them or are they all different? They're all kind of different. The general conceit of a vault is there is a wifi hotspot there. Not every wizard tower would be a vault, but because there was a hotspot in this vault, the thalmic field that exists inside it is powerful enough that it can maintain, uh, wards and spells that are necessary for the protection. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

There's a lot of containment of the objects they're in. And the people there in those objects. Precisely. Yes. Did we ever, uh, agree on what we were going to do with these boxes? Are we going to break everyone out or are we going to Maggie, what was your opinion when we left? I can't remember. She puts up her hands, says, I have made my position on wizards known in the past. 10 five, sir. Double high five. I've made my position on wizards known in the past. I don't trust them.

I don't like them. Yeah. Perel, I also mean you. Thank you very much. But I don't like you because I don't not like you. I don't not like you because of your personality. I don't not like you because of who you are. Wait, what? The intrinsic nature of Perel. You don't like him. Do you like his personality or not? He's fine. You like him? You like his personality? He's a fine enough person. If you just let him talk, you guys never let him talk.

And then we're like, ooh, Maggie wants to hear Perel talk. Ving starts crossing one index finger over his other index finger. What does that mean? I don't know. This is when we were growing up. This meant you liked somebody. I think it's like tsk tsk. Oh, yeah. This was the penis in the hole. No, no, no. He's not. No, not my type. No, thank you. Not interested. Probably goes, eh, fine. Ving says, totally unrelated. What is your type? Um, how do I?

He takes one finger and goes over behind his pointed ear. That was maybe the fastest I've seen anyone shift into, uh, I guess, lecherous. You know what? Let's move on. Let's move on. How about? Moving on. But, uh, yeah, that's what I know about the vault. I mean, you've been to the Riverways vault. They're kind of dangerous in general. Ours because. Yeah. Chamberlain. Yeah. He broke Billy's arm. Yeah. No, he is a powerhouse when he is required to be.

So we don't know what, what could exist inside this vault. Can we Spout Lore on histories? Yeah. You could probably, you could Spout Lore to potentially recall some details, but like this is something that a lot of people might not know about. Hey, Perel. Yup. Do you remember anything that anyone might've told you about Adderneck All Water? Or the vault. Or the vault. Or like the ice. What was he? What was she into? You had your frog. Frog thing.

And very specific, uh, very specifically, nobody knows. She was very secretive about her work. Caroline, you were a spy. You were spying on Maggie forever. My name's Kareem. Kareem, sorry. That's fine. You just look exactly like Caroline. I was Caroline for a long time. You look exactly like this girl I used to know, Caroline. This girl I used to date, Caroline. Yeah. 2d6 plus intelligent. Wow. Not, not great. Okay. Six. I can age you. Anyone. Yeah.

Cause I can give you a plus two if it's historical. Oh yeah. 2d6 plus bond. Nice. Seven. Okay. Perfect. So that makes it a seven. Interesting, but not useful. So Perel kind of says, yeah, since nobody really, I mean, most towers kind of reflect the specialties of the wizards that built them or lived in them. And since no one really knew what Adderneck's school was, we don't really know what to expect. So I would say. And I know this is not really the way that you operate.

I hazard extreme caution, extreme caution when we go to the tower. Sounds boring. So you're saying we might have to jump in with a plan. I would say don't jump in, make the plan. Don't jump in. How will we make a plan if we don't know anything? So we got to jump in. What's your plan, bro? Be very, very careful. Kind of stand behind you guys. Yeah. And hope that I survive long enough to uncover whatever I need to uncover.

I guess that is not a bad plan is like we go in there swinging and draw whatever it is is in there as attention. And then Perel has time to like, I don't know, read or whatever nerd shit he wants to do. He can do that weird like candle meditation again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I probably would. Twitchy beach moves. Yeah. Yeah. I probably do that. Who has the eye on candle? Tux says looking around. Shit. I Perel does. Okay. Why? I just wanted to know where it was. Okay. Did you use all of it? No. Why?

Crosses his arm. I don't want it. I just wanted to know. Okay. No, I still have some left. Why are you being all suspicious? I don't know. Why are you asking me so many questions? Cause you ask me questions all the time. Like, did I brush my teeth? And like, do I want to learn to read this book? And are you sure you brush your teeth? Cause your breath smells really bad. And I say it's not my fault. I ate some. Food that I found after I brushed my teeth. And also, why is your toothbrush dry?

Because I don't have a toothpaste. So what am I supposed to do? And do you feel like putting on pants today? And I say, no, Perel, do I ever want to put on pants? But I do because that is what society expects of me. Billy did finger quotes around society. All right. I guess we'll undertake a perilous journey to figure out the next stage of this journey. Exciting. Yeah. So navigate and got ahead. Who's doing what? Can I scout ahead this time? Yeah. I'll navigate. Okay. Cool.

So scout ahead is 2d6 plus wisdom. Navigate 2d6 plus intelligence. Billy's feeling better now that he has the mimic moth. And food. So many macaronis. Oh, yeah. 13. Fuck yeah. Pretty good. Four. Okay. Damn it. So scout ahead. You get two from the list below. You get the drop on whatever lies ahead. You discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain. You make a discovery or notice a danger. Like two. Two. Make a discovery. Okay. So you're sailing.

This is, let's say, like a day and a half after your little sit down on the deck. Sun is, you imagine if you've started to kind of be able to track the time of like how bright it is instead of like the position of the sun. So it's probably late afternoon. You are sailing along and you hear someone, a crew member from the crow's nest. There's a vessel. Uh, vessel. There's a vessel off the starboard side, I think. A vessel means a boat, Fing says. It does, yes. Starboard means right, Tuck says.

Starboard does mean right. You're all learning. I'm so proud of you. Off means not on our boat. And you're kind of like peering through the fog and you do see a mid-sized ship, like two sails just kind of sailing along and it looks like there's bodies milling about. Like alive? Yep. They seem to be alive as far as you can tell. Tuck picks up a bottle and throws it at them. Empty bottle? Wait, I was gonna put a drawing in there. Okay, you put a drawing in another one. There's so many.

Oleander has not slowed down and we have not stopped for supplies, so this is pretty weird. And guess what? I'm sailing better than I ever have in my life. He is not at the wheel. I pick my, and I have a lot of drawings too, I pick my best smiley face drawing and I put it in the bottle. Here you go, Tuck. Thanks. Okay, I want to try and get this on their deck. Okay, 2d6 plus strength. A message of friendship and camaraderie between seafaring vessels.

I shall deliver it in the standard way that you do on the sea. In a bottle. Deck to deck. 14. Fucking hell. Yes! It lands in the captain's drink holder. Jacuzzi? Yeah. Is it at the wheel? Yeah. The cup holder attached to the wheel? Yeah. Lands on top of the drink, knocks the other drink through the bottom of the cup holder and completely replaces the thing that they had there. And you hear a voice go, drop, drop, drop it, drop, drop anchor, drop anchor.

And then after some time, ahoy, ahoy there. Ahoy. Are you friendly? Wait, are you? Did you read my message? There's a, what? There's a message in here? Well, duh. It's the standard way that people communicate on ocean. What we assume. Okay, just a sec. It's really in there. It's trying to shake it. It's kind of wet now. Aww, that's nice. Yeah, okay. You seem friendly. We'll meet you halfway. Do you want to come over here? We come over there? We can row over there. Okay.

I want to do a plank, but that's fine. Yeah, I was thinking a plank too. Well, we can get close enough and then plank. We can get close enough to do a plank that we walk across. Okay, yeah. Ving does a plank. They all walk across them. Plank board abs. Yeah. Yeah, the ships come up next to each other. A plank is laid and there's a guy standing there, short, kind of pudgy, bald, glasses. He's got just a vest on and pants, but no shirt, just the vest.

Oh, and then a fur trimmed cape around his shoulders because it's cold out. Oh, yeah. And he's got a necklace on. That has an anchor. Oh, cool. Yeah. So I'm like halfway across the plank and I say, wait a second. I would like to trap expert. Ah, smart. Very smart. 2d6 plus dexterity. Yeah. Sweet. 14. 14. Shit. Okay. Is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? Billy, you've been on the sea quite a lot now. Like you've spent a lot of time out here. I have spent a lot of time on the sea.

And you know what? These are pirates. What does the trap do when activated? They are trying to get a good look at you, especially with the gray being as debilitating as it is. They wouldn't want to risk just like attacking you straight up. And what else is hidden here? You see there's probably 12 to 15 members of this crew and the ones that you see are all wearing the anchor necklace. One second. I just have to go to the bathroom. I start backing up. And you hit our legs.

I'm like, Billy, what are you doing? Back up. No, they're friendly. No, I don't think that they will be friendly. Okay. What's going on? I thought you guys were going to come over here. Yeah, we're just gonna get some toilet paper and food. Toilet paper. You know what? We could use some toilet paper. And we will bring some toilet paper back from the privy is what they call it. All right. We'll be waiting. Okay. Okay. Pull up the anchor. Wait, no. Wait, wait, wait. What's going on, Billy?

I think they're pirates. Look at the vest. Are we pirates? Not really. Oleander. Are we pirates? I'm not a pirate. I'm a smuggler. You want to be a pirate? No. Well, on the level of like, where do pirate versus smugglers sit? Are you more powerful? Powerful. I don't know. I mean, we kind of do different things. Pirates are more like attacking. They can take stuff from people. Smuggler. I've worked for pirates with pirates before. Have you worked with these ones?

Do you know what the anchor means? They are all in the same chain. Yeah, that's the sailor. What? Oh, yeah. The patron of sailors. Yeah. And he reaches in to his shirt and he pulls out a little medallion. Are you a pirate? No. I just, I'm a… I pay homage to the patron of sailors. We know the patron of sailors, dude. Okay. And he puts it back in his We all… We all… We all… We all… We all… We all… We all know the patron. We don't worry. Yeah, you know, we all feel his…

The guidance of them in the air, in the seas, in the lines. In the flesh. And then Tuck goes, it's actually a he in this case. Okay. All right. Whatever. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, yeah, they're probably just… They just, you know, pay homage to the sailor. No, I got a bad feeling about this. Should be pulling that plank up. Do you think they're faking it? What? Do you think they're not actually… They don't… They're not actually part of the patronage of sailors?

Do pirates pay homage to the sailors? I mean, some probably pay homage to the pirate. Could I discern reality and see if I can see if their chains are the same as Oleander's? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go for it. Great. I got nine. Nine? Oh, yeah. Bill Noculus. Bill Noculus. Hell yeah. Shit. Six. So, Billy looks through the Bill Noculus and looks really close at the chain with the anchor.

And the center tine, like the middle of the anchor with the two pieces that come off, the center looks like it might actually be a representation of a blade. And then the two tines are hooks. Oh, shit. Oh, they're not friendly. Fucking alright. Doesn't look like yours, Oleander. Fucking pirates. And Oleander stands up and he walks over to the wheel. He reaches down, he grabs his sword. And he starts drawing it from his step. No, no, no. What about it? He's like, alright.

We gotta make him think we haven't realized that they're pirates yet. I don't think we're gonna have much time to figure that out. They want toilet paper bad. And we are gonna give him a little bit. Do you know that the longer we spend talking here, though, the more they're definitely gearing up to attack us. And then you need two rolls of three. Ah, you know, whatever you got, we'll take. Whatever extra kind of shit you got lying around. Listen to that. We better go. You know what? Make it two.

Actually, make it every two. Make it everything. Oh, no. I pushed the plank over. Okay, two six plus strength. Nine. Nine, okay. So you push the plank into the water as Oleander reefs on the wheel, trying to like tip the front of the boat away from their boat. But a couple of them are able to like leap over the side onto the deck. No. Tuck picks up a giant crate of empties that's on the, it's like a recycling bin full of empties.

He just whips it at the guys that jumped across to see if he can stop them from getting. Yeah, two to six plus. This might be dexterity because you're trying to hit people like hit targets. Okay. I was going to return those. That's like 250 in bottles, man. Recycle. Like 11. Yeah. So I would say that four were trying to jump over and two of them were a little too close together and that you stop their momentum right in the air.

The bottles crash into them and they fall into the water with a splash. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to die. I'm going to fall into the water with a splash. Nice. Yeah. Two of them. I'm going to go fight with honor, roll plus con to get some hold. Yeah, totally. 10. 10. Okay. So that's three hold for a fight with honor. Yep. And I assume you're squaring off with the other two that landed on board.

I'm going to cross a distance between myself and a foe bypassing all obstacles and then deal damage to them. Yeah, that's perfect. I'm going to run and grab a rope, like Superman style and swing fist forward and just knock them out of the air like that. Perfect. Swing around. Roll your damage. Three. Yeah. So you knock one of them right into the water, continuing your momentum on the rope, swinging gallantly through the air, landing back onto the deck.

But the one remaining pirate who jumped first lands on the deck. He's got two hatchets. He's got really big arms and he's like, ah, real piratey shit. I want to grab a, like an empty sack where there are more cans. There's so many. So many bottles. Containers. It's like a bottle depot around here. Yeah. Grab a cloth bag that had a bunch of cans in them. Bottles. Uh huh. No, and cans. He's found like carbonated sealed beers somewhere. And I leap on the guy and try to put the bag over his head.

Perfect. Nice. Give me a defy danger dexterity to even like get up on this guy first. Eight. Okay. So the eight, like he sees you coming and he starts like swinging his hatchets at you. So you can continue onto him to do the bag thing with another roll and get hit. Or you can stop right now and avoid his attack. No, I want to get him with the bag. Okay. Roll a D6. Four. Four. He nicks you with his blade on one of the hatchets dealing four damage, but then you're on top of him.

And now roll, I guess, dexterity again to get this bag on him. 12. Yeah. It's got a drawstring on it. I tighten it up. I'm like hanging off of it. Look at what I cut. Yeah. It's around like his knees. So he's like, whoa, it smells like beer in here. Billy, you're bleeding. Billy, you're bleeding. Oh, I'm fine. It's just sauce from me. You mean blood? He means blood. Just to minimize his injuries by calling stuff sauce. Don't worry. It's just Billy sauce. I'm just miracle whipping out of my eyes.

And you hear as the last pirate that made it over the first time is taken care of. You hear a real classic. Yar, yar, yar, yar. As a bunch like swing over on lines. Oh, what the fuck? And try and. Try and land onto the boat. Tuck looks around for something to use to fight these guys off. And he realizes very suddenly he carries a battle axe with him everywhere he goes. Oh, right. Oh my God, I got to find more empties. He grabs a slice of his memory in which contains a battle axe on his back.

And then Tuck picks up another container full of Tupperware containers this time. Yeah. No lids. No lids. Not a single lid. I know. All of this is garbage that they were planning on throwing away. It's all these ones. They got fucking sauce in them. And then the sauce never comes out. Only Andrew's a bit of a hoarder. A little bit. You know, you know, I mean, it's not hoarding if I'm preparing for eventualities. Divorced dads are always holding on to garbage that they're going to eat out of.

It's not garbage if I have a use for it. We're telling you, don't hoard on board. There's such limited space on the Sunrunner, too. Like, it's not a big boat. The crew talks about it a lot. They're like, he's really holding on to it. There's like six mannequins in the back. He said he was going to make like a coat rack out of them, and he still has it. So you grab a crate full of old Tupperware. And I grabbed the biggest Tupperware and I pull it up as a shield.

And then I grabbed the ax off my back. Amazing. And then I go, I want to fight the biggest guy. Is there a big guy swinging? Yeah, there's a big guy. He's got a big pole that looks like it's a club. Is it Fatim? No, it's just a club. Okay. It's just a big guy with a stick. And he's missing one eye. And he's got a patch on the other one. And Tuck goes, Fatim, is that you? Har! Oh, be Fatim. And Tuck is like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. You look like a guy I know.

And the club begins whistling through the air towards your head. Tuck blocks it and then smashes him in the face with the head of the ax. Okay. That sounds like defend. So I'm going to roll. I'm going to get you to roll defend. Oh, finally. I'm making it happen. Yeah, you are. This is great. So 2d6 plus constitution. Okay. So that's it. That's it. 2d6 plus constitution is three. So nine. Okay. So on a nine, you hold one. Redirect an attack from the thing you defend to yourself.

Have the attacks effect or damage. Open up the attacker to an ally, giving that ally plus one forward against the attacker or deal damage equal to your level. I'll deal damage equal to my level. Okay. Yeah. Oh God, what's your level? Eight. This guy's toast. There's, you know, people don't have a lot of hit points in this. Yeah. So yeah. So you're just whistling through the air towards your head. You block it with the ax and then just whack them in the face. Yeah. Yeah.

With the head of the ax, like the broad side of it. And he gets smoked right in the teeth. He didn't have many teeth to begin with, but the ones that were there fall out. It sounds like they clatter all over the deck. It talks like, fuck, I'm sorry. I was going to kill you. And then he splooshes into the water and the crew has begun battle fights happening all over the deck. And Maggie comes fucking charging up from below deck and shoulder checks a guy into the water, just full up.

And she's like, finally, she's just beating the shit out of a guy. But Ollie is trying to get the ship away and you need to hold off these people to give the boat enough time to kind of get under sail. They're not trying to catch us with their helmsman. Are they trying to chase us in the boat? Yeah. They're trying to chase you. And like every once in a while, a rope will like fling over the deck. Yeah.

It's like a rope will fling over the deck with like a grappler on it and it'll slam and try and grab onto something. I want to use my superior technique in my fight with honor. Yeah. To deal damage to a foe within sight. Yeah. As long as you can see the helmsman, which you can, like you can see someone at the wheel. Okay. I want to try that. Okay. So you just spend your hold and deal your damage. Great. My damage is a D6 and I guess because I'm using nature's fury, I get a D10. Oh yeah.

It's a D10 instead. 10. That's a 10. Yeah. That's a 10. Holy shit. So yeah. What, how does Ving do this? Describe it. I guess he pushes with the water. Mm-hmm. Fucks with the rudder. Cause that's what he's holding onto the wheel. Yeah. The wheel controls the rudder. The rudder. So then he just takes the rudder and like the water around the rudder moves in opposite direction and flings the guy off the boat. Just like, whew. Cause the wheel spins. Nice. The wheel spins and he's holding on. Yeah.

He's not expecting it. Yeah. He gets tossed right into the water. You hear a splash and a scream and the rudder is like, a 10 is a lot of damage. Yeah. And then there's like a crash as Ving like grips with the water and just destroys the back of the boat. And the guy with the glasses is running around on the deck going, no fucking shit. Son of a bitch. Fucking boat no.

And the rest of the pirates who are fighting on the deck are like looking over and going, oh boy, our ship is being destroyed and we're stuck on this one. And we're all just like. Yeah. So the pirates that are on the deck. They're fighting with a renewed vigor, realizing their lives are hanging in the balance. I'm still hanging off that bag. Still? Are you killing this guy? No, I'm just keeping him for later. Whatever. I don't know.

Billy, you hear a as you start seeing like the blades of axes poke through the material of this bag. Whoa, what are you doing? Get off me. I'm trying to get out of here. Do I have a move where I put them to sleep? Yeah. It's fairy dust. Okay. Fairy dust on this guy. Chan? Hell yeah. And I'm. I just sneeze on him. And I think with a 10, you get to choose three from the list, which I believe is they'll stay asleep for a long time.

You can do it to a group of people and you can do it from a distance. Stay asleep for a long time and a group of people. Yes. Big sneeze. Amazing. Cause it like usually just fake it, but this one was actually real. Yeah. He's wearing a lot of perfume. This pirate. He is. This is a very perfumed boy. He is covered in dracar noir. Oh yeah. It is like being in line outside of touch nightclub. It is like being in line outside of touch nightclub. It is like being in line outside of touch nightclub.

It is like being in line outside of touch nightclub. In Hamilton. 1998. And the perfume gets up inside your nose and you go, huh? And it's a huge, like pop of fairy dust that extends over the whole deck. Gesundheit. The pirates fall asleep. The one in the bag slumps to the ground. And even a few of Ollander's crew members just like hit the deck and start snoring. Teck and Vinger just like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's not evil. It's like, no, but we don't have fun.

We're gonna fall asleep halfway through a fight. I guess. It's fine. It's normal. It's a part of your body, but we just don't want to get touched by it. Wasn't embarrassed until now. Sorry. Hey guys. Ollander? What's up? Did we win? Yeah, we won. All right. Can we get the anchor up? Is that guy? Hey fucker. And he yells across the water and the guy's just like, ah, oh no. Like bailing. You see him running up and down between the ship. Just throwing a bucket of water.

Things throwing sleeping pirates back on their ship. Oh, you're tossing it back on. Yeah. And that yeah, bodies are hitting the deck or the water or the side of the boat. Let's get a move on. Fucking you big man. Get the anchor up. What are you doing? Do you want me to pull the anchor up? Oh no. I want you to stand around and ask me about the anchor some more. Why are you being a dick to me? I'm stressed out. You sound like beer smells. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out.

I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Yeah, Billy's got the, he's like hanging from the capstan. Like, go, go.

His legs are just. I got 12. Yeah, you grab the chain and haul it straight up from the water. You're fused fucking rippling in the gray light of day. Yeah, there's a rare beam of sunlight that cuts across the scene. It glitters off of the pectorals and the abs and the obliques. Like, you can really see like that lower and upper triangle on my back as I haul stuff up. And for a moment, everyone becomes still as they look at the poetry that is the human body in full bloom. You hear the baby oil.

You hear the pirate on the other ship go. You know what? I can't go against that. He's a specimen. It's beautiful. Talk your baby. And then Tuck's like, thanks. And then he hands only under the entire anchor and let's go. He just drops it full on onto the ground. And he turns the wheel and you start. He's sailing away and he goes, ha, no one will ever catch Captain Oleander Dreyfus.

And he grabs a bottle that he was drinking from and throws it with all his might directly into the ground at his feet. It shatters. Let's go, boys. And you sail off into the gray, having escaped the pirates. And then Tuck goes over to Billy and Vick and he's like, good job, you two. You too, bud. Do you feel like Oleander's drinking too much? Do you think that maybe we should take away his command of the ship? Should we mutiny him until he's… Sobers up a little bit? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

And you hear Oleander. Did you say mutiny? Completely sober. We're just saying, I think you're a little too under the influence to be making decisions for the entire boat right now. Not anymore, I'm not. I hear the word mutiny. My brain's firing on all cylinders. All right, mutiny, mutiny, mutiny. Let's get out of here. I got my eye on you. Then I mutiny on your mutiny, mutiny. I swear to God, if you try and mutiny me, I'm going to counter mutiny you so fucking hard. I mutiny. You mutiny me.

You mutiny me in your sleep. You better wake up and mutiny me. Every time they say mutiny, they get closer and closer together until their noses are touching. It's like one of those kinds of fights. And Oleander's quite a lot shorter than Ving. He's like 5'8". He's poking me in the chest. Mutiny you, mutiny me. I'm going to mutiny the shit out of you. I'll mutiny the shit out of your shit. You better mutiny with one eye open. You better mutiny and wipe twice, motherfucker. Go pull that line.

I will, Captain. Salutes him. Goes and pulls the line. All right. He snaps his fist in a salute on his chest, delaying some sort of previous naval experience, perhaps, and goes back to the wheel. And the day continues without incident, though you see Oleander reach into his shirt and kind of like rub the anchor medallion around his neck as he sails. Is that like a thing for luck? It's like a religious thing, I think.

I mean, as much as the patronages are a quote-unquote religion, yeah, I guess so. It's more just like it's just reminding me that there are a billion billion sailors that came before me and we all are united in our mastery and love of the sea, you know?

And he's actually warmed up quite a lot to Billy because everybody does eventually, but he really throws on this like kind of cool like dad thing around Billy and you're not really sure why, but he's like, yeah, you know, it's just a little medallion reminds me what I do. Where I came from. That's cool. I just imagined Billy like sitting kind of on like the little box in front of the wheel like hanging out with. Yeah, totally. Where'd you like?

What was the kind of your favorite food from where you come from? From where I come from my favorite food. Oh boy. You ever had? So there's this thing that we have. It's called a fuck. It's called like a grapka. Uh-huh. It's like a disc of flatbread and then you cut the bread open and you create like a pocket. Yeah. And then you put like meat and vegetables and sauce and it creates like this little pocket of bread. Nice. When we get to port, I'll make you some stuff. I'll get the stuff for it.

Do you have any weird dreams ever? Like, oh yeah. Oh, hello. Weird dreams. Why do you have weird dreams too? Totally. And do you ever wonder if dogs have thoughts? We're kind of bouncing around topics a lot, but yeah, I guess so. Why wouldn't everybody has thoughts? That's a good point. What about cats? Yeah, definitely. No, actually. No, cats don't have thoughts. I don't know. Ving says they do. Ving would say that though. And also, why did you, why did your wife leave you? Oh boy.

That's a big question. Whenever I ask, you always change the subject. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess if I had to, if I had to pick one, it's kind of because I became so committed to my job that I started thinking of myself as like a smuggler first and a husband second. At a time when we really needed that support in each other.

And she just kind of grew further and further apart from me because I mean, she had her own things like she had her, she had her textile business and that was really important to her. And I respect that. If I had to pick a second answer, it's because she fucked my brother. Whoa. Well, yeah. Anyway, any follow-up questions there, little guy? Let me think about it. Okay. All right. I'm going to keep sailing while you think. Cut to us for a second. Yeah.

We're below decks trying to organize an intervention with the rest of the crew members being like, he's drinking too much. Okay. Billy's up there distracting him so that we can organize this thing with you guys. I haven't seen him leave the helm in three days. How are we going to get him down here? He hasn't slept. He has not stopped drinking. He's purely functioning only on alcohol, I think. I don't think I've seen him pee. Except that one time we peed on that Selkie.

I mean, he has been drinking quite a lot, yes, but he has been operating at more or less, let's say 60% capacity. And Tuck grabs this guy's arm and he goes like, you're being an enabler right now, dude. Oh my God, you're right. I am. I just love my captain so much. I just want him to have what's best for him. Well, then you guys stand up to us. Sweet sailor above and below. You are correct. Thank you. So much for, and he grabs both sides of your face and pulls you in.

Thank you so much for revealing my biases to me in such a kind and supportive way. And Tuck kisses him on the lips. All right. Yes. He returns that kiss fervently. And then Tuck goes, now go get Oleander. Okay, I will. And Abdul turns to everyone and goes, do you guys want to do an intervention? Yes. All right. Paul, you're in harm reduction. Is this a dangerous thing for us to be making fun of? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, this has nothing to do with that. Okay.

So it's, who is this guy that I just kissed? This guy, this guy's name is Darcy Spice. Darcy Spice. I like that a lot. Darcy Spice. Darcy Spice. He's the quartermaster. Darcy Spice. Darcy. I am a captain. Anyway. So what I was saying was sometimes when you toast bread, you know, it just gets too hard for your gums. That's true. That's true. I have noticed that. That's why I like to put toast in my mouth for a little while and let it sit there. Me too. It's like, I call it bread soup. Captain.

Captain, can you join us at the blood decks for a minute, please? I have to go to the bathroom. Oh, all right. I mean, somebody's got to, somebody's got to watch the helm though. What I mean is I will watch the helm. Okay. And I will go, I'm just cause I'm just going to whiz off the deck right here. And then I, I will be at the helm. Okay. Right away. I'll be, I'll be right back. Like Billy porthole. Sorry. And, uh, stomp, stomp, stomp.

As all he comes down the stairs and sees all of you standing there, presumably. Yeah. There's a big banner that says intervention. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What the slams locks behind him? What the fuck is this? Trust us. I don't need an intervention. I think, dude, we're here because we love you. Okay. This is less than, this intervention. This is just the safest way that we thought that we could tell you that there is no more alcohol on this boat. What the fuck are you talking about?

We're not a hundred percent sure what an intervention is. So we're, we're just here to tell you that this boat is dry and there's no more. Are you, you're what? You drank it all, bud. That can't be, that can't be true. That can't, oh, oh my God. When we were at four frost, we left so quick. I didn't have time. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh my God. There was only eight barrels. Why did I only bring eight barrels? All the bottles, the bottles are done are gone. Yeah.

What about those weird cans that I found that are all fizzy? Yeah. You drank those. Oh my God. They were so refreshing. And then tech goes, Darcy wrote you a letter. It's true. Captain. I did write you a letter. And the important thing to know is that this comes from, a place of love. There's a safe space. Okay. I just, and he pulls out a little pair of a pince-nez glasses. He puts them on his nose and he unfolds a letter. Captain. Captain. Oh, captain, my captain.

When you drink so much that I'm afraid we will crash into the rocks. I find that your drinking becomes a fear of man, but I do not want to fear you, my captain, I want you to be as good a sailor as you are a friend. And I am worried that occasionally when you drink and say it is pretty bad ass that doing it too much will lead to your downfall. And also the DM of the people on this vessel. And I want you to know that I love you.

Next page flips it over and you see that he actually has several pages. Like, Oh, geez, I didn't write this so fast. And there's a, he's had this for years. Yeah. And we do a, a slow panning montage of him reading the pages. There's just music over it. And you see like it cuts to Darcy and he's like crying and all the Anders crying. And then it fades in and fades back. And Darcy's reading and the captain's laughing a lot and everybody's laughing and hugging.

And then it fades out and fades back in. And tucking Vinger holding all the under back from trying to cry fighting. Everybody's trying to beat Darcy up. And then it fades back in. And in conclusion, captain, we all love you and we want you to be, to be good and healthy and not die until it is narratively or fictionally appropriate. The end. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark.

Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. And then it says at the button, Captain, all the under dry face will return. Dot, dot, dot. And, uh, all he's standing there for a second, his arms crossed tears in his eyes. I can't believe I only brought eight barrels. Well, you did. So, but if there's one thing I know about the dry faces, it's that we get over stuff really fast.

So I think that I'll be, I understand what you're saying. And I think that, if I can go like, by the time I get to port, I might not even want to drink anymore. You know what I mean? That's the attitude. Yeah. One port at a time. I just want to, I want to thank you all for putting this kind of, I don't know, priority on my wellness. I guess I haven't been putting my own priority on my own wellness, you know, ever since my divorce eight years ago, eight years.

And, uh, you know, I, I just really needed this reminder that I'm not just what happened to me. I'm what I'm going to do. You know, I'm the people that I love and I'm, I'm a fucking sailor. God damn it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You are pulls out the, the necklace. This, this necklace means something. It's a top. There's a shot of whiskey in it. Okay. That's the end. That's the last, that's the last emergency where I'm gone. And that's it. That's there's no more on the boat. I can remember.

I got to discern realities when he goes to sleep, to find the rest of it. Yeah. And you know what? I love you. I love you. And he walks up and he hugs Darcy and he gives him a quick peck on the lips. I love you. And he goes to the next crew member and he gives him a hug and a quick peck on the lips. I love you. And he goes to each person in the hold and gives him a quick peck on the lips. And as he's doing it, you can clearly see that he's patting them down to see. Wow. Yeah. He gets to tuck.

And I don't, does tuck notice that he's getting patted down? Yeah, totally. And I love you. Thanks, man. I have no pockets in this. Come on. I don't know what you're talking about. And he gives, he gives me a look at him. Like I have so many vials of liquid on me right now. I really love you. And I think, I think I'm going to be okay. Just then you hear, I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. Yeah. Everybody's launched to the side. We look over Billy's down here with us.

I also wanted to hug. He reaches down and he hugs Billy and he goes, I love you. Wait a second. To the helm. So you, the boat runs aground with this thunderous cacophony of shattering wood. You run upstairs to the to the top deck and you're greeted by like your eyes. You all like shield your eyes. Oh my God. Brilliant blue skies. That you're reading in your ear for some reason. As your vision resolves in the light you see the beautiful brilliant globe of the sun hanging in the sky. Holy shit.

We were down there for a long time. It's like you guys were reading a book or something. And you have arrived upon the shores of the frozen north. That's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz. So long everybody. Playing Bing the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers. Take care guys. Playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai. Bye everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music.

You can find all of the music composed and performed by Aaron for the show at the Spoutlore SoundCloud account which you can look up and you can check out Aaron's album Healthy. Healthy by ACR which you can find at Aaron Reed A-A-R-O-N R-E-A-D dot bandcamp dot com. Thank you to all of our supporters around the world for supporting the show. If you want to support the show and get access to a bonus campaign tons of audio content merchandise, postcards, a whole bunch of shit.

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