Episode 5 – Reversal of Fortunes

Previously on Spout Lore. We need to head down to the amusement park. The caricaturist, although I don't totally approve of it, runs a fortune-telling business, so… Does Shithane 100% know for sure that she has power? He knows that she has power. What's the name of the amusement park, guys? Yesterland? In a medieval-style fantasy world, it is past-themed? To remind people of back when magic worked. Oh my god, so it's a magic-themed amusement park. Yeah, exactly.

Coming up after the break, we've got Spout Lore. Spout Lore. We're heading down to the Yesterland Amusement Park. It takes a while to get there. It's on the other side of the mall. At the front, there's a sign that says, Yesterland, the yesterday of today. And then there are a variety of totally mechanical rides. So there is a roller coaster. There's like a carousel and a thing that shoots up really fast and comes back down. It's an amazing sight. It's as shabby as a lot of the mall has looked.

This place looks awesome. But also super kitschy. Like, you know, there are people walking around dressed like wizards. You see somebody dressed like the mascot outside. So it's like a big stuffed head with a beard and glasses and like a long checkered robe. And they're kind of going like, Oh! Like walking around hugging people. I go up to him and I give him a hug. He hugs you enthusiastically. And I'm like, hey, buddy. What's your name? And he goes, oh!

Okay, that was less satisfying than I would have hoped. I can't talk to you, sorry. Oh, okay. That's policy. Okay. I'm like, okay, you're doing a good job. And then I walk away. And he goes, oh! Then he goes and talks to some other kids. So this is a soaring, beautiful conservatory ceiling. And, Tuck, it reminds you of some amazing architecture that you saw back in McCall. So tell me about a beautiful building in McCall that Tuck has always remembered.

In the middle of the city of McCall, there's like coming out of the ground at a very steep angle, there was like an upside-down pyramid shape that went up like 250 feet. Whoa. And there was like a flat base at the top that was like probably only like 20 feet across. So it was a very narrow and tall upside-down pyramid. Awesome. What was it? What was it called? Nobody knows. It's been there since before the city existed. The city kind of grew around it.

And the reason people kind of gathered around it is because there was like a spring. It exists at the base of this thing. Oh. So water runs out from around like the top of the upside-down pyramid. Yeah. And that is the water that kind of like the whole city of McCall uses. It's been tapped and like, moved to like the outer parts of the city using like a series of like aqueducts and billows that elves pull in and out. It's never run dry. That's awesome.

People have said it's probably made of the same material that the pillars in the Sea of Graves are made out of. It looks the same. Yeah. It has like faded and very dirty what looks like might have been runes at one point. And then if you can read the runes, you can actually read it. It says grad 45. Because it's just a water tower. Yeah. There's water actually leaking out of a water tower. Like it's coming out of the bottom. Yeah. So you are in the… Wait. Was I saying this to them?

I imagine you remembering it. But if you want to tell… Did you tell people about… I guess I'm telling… You were like, this reminds me of home. Yeah. Awesome. Shathane's like, yeah, that's a lot of glass. Yeah. Hey, look, we're here. We're here. We're here. It says, so you see your friend, Cartwin. Cartwin is sitting on a stool and she's sort of painting a very affectionate middle-aged couple. They've got their arms wrapped around each other. And she's like, hold still, please.

And they keep like kissing each other on the cheek. She's like, hold, just hold still. Almost done. And they're like, okay, I love you. She's like, okay, all right. You're almost done. And is she, she's an elf? No, human. Human. Okay. Or she might, maybe half elf. It's kind of, she has a little bit of that. Right. She's got a little bit of that juice in there. A little touch of elf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe. Do you have a little elf in you? No. Would you like some? Et cetera.

That's how our parents met. Standard pickup for me. Yeah. I'm looking at a booth that has a bunch of those shirts on it. It's selling a bunch of those types of shirts. Do you have a little elf in you? No. Do you want some? Yeah. And then there's another one that's got like a glass of ale and inside it says loading. They sell ones that are for elves and they also sell ones that are for elves that actual elves coming through are like, ugh. And they just walk past the booth. So is she finished?

Yeah, she's wrapping up and it's a very like, she kind of does the like big head little body. Oh yeah. Yeah. So she's got, it's like their two giant heads smushed together like cheek to cheek and then their tiny little bodies like at a little table with spaghetti on it and like candles. Nice. She goes, okay, here you go. Look, we're done. And they're like, oh, oh, honey, isn't that precious? That's so nice. And then Chetain's like, you guys are done. Thanks. Yeah. They're like, oh, okay.

And they hand over a couple of coins and they bounce. And they just give them a little like lower back push up. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Your bedside manner could use some work. If, are you open to constructive criticism because I'm willing to give it? What do you think? I think that sometimes. No, I meant, do you think I'm open to constructive criticism? Oh. They, uh, Cartwin goes like, okay, all right, can we just hold on?

And she opens up because she was doing this in like a more open air area next to her fortune telling booth. She's like, please just come in Chetain, just rein it in. Okay. And she directs the three of you and Tantamile. Oh, I'm not there right now. Oh, you're not. Where are you? I went to look for a snack. Oh, okay. And is Wicker with you? No. Where's Wicker? I think, Tantamile, Tantamile might be with you because she, she really, really, really. Oh, really? Okay.

Well, I, are you riding Tantamile? No, I'm walking for sure. But Tantamile's right behind you. Oh, is she? Okay. I didn't, I'm, I clearly have tunnel vision. Yeah. So what, what kind of snacks are you looking for? Well, there's a, a dude and his kids, um, who are like having a snack break and I'm trying to get a snack from them without them seeing me. Oh, okay. What kind of snacks do they, uh, have? I have potato spirals. It's always potatoes that attract Billy. My favorite.

It's like, it's like hobbits with mushrooms. Like potatoes are right on there. So yeah, they've got rotators. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, those like spiral cut potatoes on sticks. Yep. And they're sort of biting them and picking them off. Just a second. What's up? I just imagined that scene from Lord of the Rings where Sam is like, I've forgotten the taste of strawberries, but I, I imagine just Billy being like, I've forgotten the taste of rollitos.

If I don't have a rotator tomorrow, it'll be the farthest from eating a rotator I've ever been. So I say that, um, to myself. In that weird, like, yeah, Samwise Gamgee. Yeah. Um, and they're not paying attention. They're just talking to each other. And they, and I saw that they got the family pack, which is just a bouquet of rotators. So, um, they're not, they're not eating them all. Like some of those rotators are, have not been claimed. So I'm just going to grab one. Okay.

2d6 plus dexterity for tricks of the trade as you're trying to sneak up. 12. God in heaven. Yeah. You walk up and you snag a stick with a rotator on it. And I feel cool with my cloak. And so I switched my cloak because I think he'll like camouflage me. Yeah. And then I head back towards those guys. Tantamile. As you turn around, you're like, all right, got it. Yeah. Tantamile is like, what? She looks disapproving. Well, as much as a cat can look disapproving, she doesn't look happy.

Well, do you want to bite? She's like, fine. Just see yourself then. And then I am going to eat it. And then she goes, as you, as you start to eat it, she's like, okay. So I hold it up for her to nibble on. She does that cat thing where she sniffs it really fast, very gently. And then, yeah, she bites a little bit off the end. Nice. Yeah. And then she purrs and it's all good. And the family is none the wiser. You're walking far enough away that they don't even see.

They carry on with their rotato party. Wonderful. Great. Billy heads back. I was really hoping that you were going to fail that. I was worried I would. Cause I kind of forgot I had to roll. You just wanted a little potato vignette. Well, yeah. Cause like Billy's never been to a fair or anything. Um, anything this, uh, opulent before. Like he's from a farm. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is like definitely the biggest building you've ever been. Yeah.

Like just, uh, so far sequentially, I've just been in bigger and bigger buildings. Really? I'm just like, wow. Buildings get big. What comes next? Yeah. You realize, uh, as you followed the, the current of potato air, twinkle toes style, uh, that you got, it's a bit of a walk now. Oh, you got a bit further away than you expected to. Yeah. It's a long walk. Anywhere is a long walk. It's a long walk for me, but you got your rotator. Yeah.

And you're kind of sharing it with tantamount as you both walk back. And yeah. So back to the tent. So I'll ask, I'll tell Cartwin first, I need two portraits for these two. Yeah. Who's no problem. And then I looked down and I realized that fat Billy's gone. Where is this kid? I, sometimes he roams. There's a lot of smells. Uh, and he just like, we'll like go somewhere to eat something. And then sometimes he comes back and then sometimes he gets caught and we get kicked out of a bar.

It's a, it's a toss. All right. Well, I guess we'll get the one portrait done. Okay. And, when your friend decides to wander back, Hey guys, see, he didn't get caught this time. Billy pops his head in through the like curtain that she closed in the little booth. And I go, Billy, did you get anything good? I did. And I hold up the bear stick that the rotator was on. Nice. And then I'm like, I still have some salt on my face. If you want it, I'm fine. And yeah.

And carton goes, she kind of looks between the two of you and looks to Shathane. Like, is this, I'm like, this is not, there's no precedent for this. He just suggested it for the first time now. Okay. Why do I keep having to explain my relationship with this boy? Okay. So what can I do for you? So you said it sounds like there's something else. We need two portraits. Not a problem. Can do it. Can you do those? These two lost a friend. I'm sorry to hear that.

I think that you might be able to help them figure out if they can find him. Uh, what makes you, what do you, so what, what's the situation? Why could I, I mean, people lose people all the time. What do you think I can do? Um, well, um, I wiped the salt off my face to look more professional and I'm okay. So we have, we had an half elf friend named Vang and, um, we were fighting a wizard monster and her eyes widen a little bit, but more like a, okay. Yeah.

And I widen my eyes and I jump in for a second. I'm like, I'm still not totally convinced it wasn't a genie of some sort. And then I jump in and I'm like, I'm still not totally convinced this guy's not a complete idiot. And I give a, a thumbs up. I'm going to get a little bit more info before I make my decision. And so our friend Vang was the shape shifter and he was in the shape of a crocodile when we were fighting. And then, well, I ran away. Um, so Tuck, you tell the rest.

Cause I don't, I wasn't there. Um, yeah. So he was in the shape of a crocodile and the monster, the water, the wizard water monster killed the crocodile. But our friend, was a, uh, he's, he's a shape shifter. And his tell is that he has kills, but the crocodile didn't have kills. So we consulted with an elf, uh, named Colonel Dan. They're glot. Have you, do you know him? I've heard the name, they're glot, but Colonel Dan is not, that's not an elf. That's nobody. I know. They're glot.

And then I, I look at Carmen and I'm like, I think this is Nathaniel. Oh, yeah. So Dan told us that, uh, the, cause the crocodile didn't have the, the, the tell that the gills Dan said that it's possible that he was stuck somewhere, uh, in the spirit realm and to look for, uh, Shathane. Right. He might be able to help us get him back. Right. One more thing. This box is of some importance. I am not sure how much, but that wizard monster is trying to get it. Uh, okay.

And then I put it back on my back. She could, can I see that again? Okay. And I take it back off my back and I was like, be careful. I broke it a little bit. She's looking at it. She's turning it over in her hands, looking at the markings and she notices, she points at like some of the sigils on here. She says, these are Elvin, but like these are old, old, old Elvin. She takes a bit more of a look at it and she says, this is, I've never seen anything like this. But this is an old form of common.

And she points at one level of the sigils and she points at the stuff that's over it. And she said, this is an older version of Elvin that's was mainly only used for spell work magic. Yeah. Our friend Ving said that this, uh, this symbol means containment and this symbol means binding. Yeah. This is a, a prison. There's what? If she, if, if I'm reading this right, this is a prison. Okay. Is there a problem that I did this and then I turn it over and there's like a giant crack in the shop.

I smashed it with an ax. Well, what happened after you smashed it with an ax? My friend died. Hmm. Would you say that's a problem? Yes. For me, she shoves it back in your hands. She says, you get this, you got to get this thing out of here. Okay. Okay. I don't want to get pulled into anything. She thing. You need to understand this is, this is my work. This is where I work. This is where I live. I don't want this kind of heat coming down on me. You understand? I understand. I do.

I do want to help these ding dongs. I don't know. I just don't know if it's worth it for me. That's my only concern. I don't want to know more than I'm supposed to and have gods know what coming down then looking for more information. You know what I mean? Is that Billy groaning? Yeah. Can I like parlay with her or something? Uh, yeah, you can definitely try. What, but what is, so what's Billy doing? What's he offering? Oh, he has to offer something. That's how parlay works. You need leverage.

I was, I was getting ready to, but my charisma is so crappy. I was, well, I mean, if you're still gonna, if you're still gonna try, just cause your charisma sucks doesn't mean you wouldn't try. Right. That's what I was hoping somebody else would step. No, you do it. Oh, cause you have, you like, you know her and you're right. And I was also trying to think of what the, what the leverage would be. I think she sounds like an old friend.

And so, yeah, that's what I'm, that's what I'm getting the vibe of. You know her from the old days. Right. So she's probably, she's actually probably quite old, like in her sixties. Yeah. Or maybe, yeah, I was thinking maybe. Although you said she's part elf. So she looks a lot younger than she is. Right. Not a lot, but you know. Can we talk about those numbers or what? What? How old things are and people are?

Well, I mean, you would probably know that when you knew her back in the day, she was in her, I don't know, maybe what, like thirties or forties, but she looked like she was just out of her teens. Yeah. And now she's in her sixties or she, it looks like she's in her sixties, but she's probably closer to a hundred. Yeah. I think we're like a hundred ish years after they met maybe. And so she thinks probably like 400 ish or something like that. Maybe a little. Yeah.

We talked about how she thinks quite old. Right. Yeah. But like, and he's full blooded elf. So he's like, he'll live for a long time. He just looks like a million bucks at 400. So this isn't a common thing of people, new people coming on the podcast and then just talking about how good their characters look. Yeah. Their ideal selves. Like this guy's got white hair though. Anyway, but he pulls it off, right? Yeah. He pulls it off. You called him a silver Fox when you were originally described.

Actually. No. What you said was what you said. What kind of Mark Jacobs suit model, DILF material. Right. He said Indochino Indochino. That's what it was. And then we found the model he was talking about. The actual ad I remembered. Okay. So yeah. What are you, so what are you, you're trying to convince just so I, Cartwin to help you out.

So I think I would want to use, the fact that the wizard and elf combination that we're talking about is like beyond what should exist from the little light, fine wisps of magic that float around in the world. Still. This means that there's some more going on, right? Like this is a crack. This is something terrible is, is happening.

This is evidence of some thing that we didn't expect that we thought magic was gone and all the terrible things that made magic affect the world in the terrible way that it did was all gone. Mm-hmm. And that this is like the bad stuff that was happening before. So. Okay. That's, I'd say that's a reasonable leverage. You're just trying to appeal to her better nature to her, to the old Cartwin as opposed to this new one. And I want to kind of aid him by trying to seduce her into help.

That would not aid at all. But I, I want to just like behind him, just like, just like do a fake stretch where I'm just like, that's going to be an interfere for sure. Can I do it? Does it change my decision to do it? It's not effectively helping at all. So you wouldn't, you wouldn't roll for it. I'm going to roll for it. How do you think that would help this at all? Cause, uh, she's beautiful and I am stupid.

I'm just, can I, can I also aid and maybe like, like cry and see if she has any like motherly qualities that I can like, I don't know. Yeah. Influence. Okay. So you're going to be telling her about this and Billy's going to start crying. And, and Tuck is going to start flexing. Yeah. We're in the background. So roll your parlay two to six plus your charisma. Actually, what is, no, you're already, you're on this train, man. What is, what did you know? It doesn't matter. You bought a ticket.

Here we go. Two. You motherfuckers both failed so badly. So mark a point of experience, mark a point of experience. And I guess I'm not used to the tightness of my clothes. So while I'm doing that, my pants rip. Yeah. Great. And then I go, Oh fuck. I clean up. Too much. Too much. So you, okay. So this is a, wow. Yeah. Um, pretty major fail. Oh yeah. It's not great. So you give Cartwin this whole deal. You're saying like, this is bad. This could be really bad and it could be bad for everybody.

All right. And, she thinks about it for a little bit. Yeah. And Tuck is flexing, stretching, whatever, doing what he's doing. She's not even paying attention to Tuck. It's not the old days. It's not the old days anymore. Shit thing. I'm, I'm, I'm getting up there in years. I can't afford to get mixed up in this kind of thing. If what you're saying is true and the bad times are coming back, if things go my way, I'll be dead before then. You know what I mean?

So I'm sorry, but I can't, I can't help you. I totally understand. What a bitch. And I say that. Says you don't, this is an old friend. This is a really old friend of mine. I don't think it's your, you're, you're a kid. You don't understand. I understand. And then I just turn around and I fart. Oh my God. Wow. Wow. These are the kinds of people you're trucking with now. Shit thing. I, Tacoma is laughing. And I'm like, I can't believe.

That when you got stuck in the corridor, I thought the little one was a smart one. Hey, we're me and him are basically equal. Yes. Yeah. So she's just like, wow, this is awesome. This is great. Anyways, let's just get these portraits done. And she goes through the curtain, closes it. Like it just closes behind her and she's getting ready to do some portraits. Okay. How about, how about this? Cause I assume we're getting separate portraits.

Why don't we try to talk to her during our portrait time? Okay. Try to convince her. Okay. Okay. So you guys head out to portrait zone. Yeah. Okay. So you guys all leave her little, little fortune telling tent and you see cartoon stock. Still eyes wide arm around her waist knife to her throat. It's the hot meat boys. Yeah. They're back. Which ones is it? Some of the ones you recognize from before. Yeah. You see the one with the knife to her throat is the one from the weapons check.

And you see the one that was with him when they were following you. And then a very random assortment. There's five altogether. And, uh, they are, they're looking and they're like, Hey, guess we found you. Who, which one of us are you talking to right now? All of you as a group. Okay. I'm going to throw a dagger. One of my throwing daggers into that guy's face. Whoa. Just yeah. Cause I'm in a really bad mood. Yeah. I had a good time.

And then that, whatever her name is, she, she put me in a really bad mood and he's just mad now. Billy has a move called shoot first. Okay. Which means that this is not a situation in which you would be surprised. Like you would basically see what's going on before they noticed you were there. Okay. Like you basically come out and they're, they're watching like up, like where a human face would be. And, uh, there's a child there instead.

So they don't really see you coming out, but you catch them right at the right time where you, yeah, you have the opportunity to just whip a knife. She is between you and that guy. So you will have to roll like a defy danger basically to not hit her. Okay. So that's two D six plus dexterity. Whoa. Nice. 10. Yep. No problem. You got to, you got to beat on them. So now roll a volley. Okay. So 11. Okay. Yeah. Roll your damage for, Oh my God. Okay. So the hot meat boys aren't the toughest of boys.

Okay. So where on the internet did you find the stats for the hot meat boys? None of your fucking business. I went to hot meat boys.com. Do not. Don't go to hot meat boys.com. Don't go to hot money. They have not paid. If you are, if you are listening and you are under 18, do not go to hot meat boys.com. I don't want that heat. You sent them a sponsorship request letter, but they have not gotten back yet. Yeah, exactly. I don't want them getting any traffic. They don't deserve hot meat.

Boys.com is available. Oh my God. Buy it. How much is it a year? Uh, 13 bucks. Yeah, buy it. I'll give you 13 bucks. What are the, what are the other, so far we've just got Spout Lore.com. Oh, what are the other gangs? There's the cool treat kids, the cool treat kids, uh, and the rock pirate clan. I don't think I have to check. I just think we might have to get.org. I just think it's funny. Um, if we had hot boys, hot meat boys.com that redirected to Spout Lore.com.

Oh, also dot zone is available. There's a lot of dot things that we can get. Well, you need that for, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's move on. So, um, so, okay. So basically Billy has the opportunity to straight up kill this guy. Yes. So Billy, the child is going to throw a knife into the face of a human man and just kill him. Killing him. Jesus Christ. Really mad. Mad enough to kill over potatoes. Yeah. And she straight up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Looks like a wham, and he just gets a knife right in the face, drops his knife, falls back, knife in the face area. Through the eye, through the back of his head. Boom. Well, okay, it's not a bullet. It was thrown by a little boy. Okay, fine. Through his eye. Billy can throw with the strength of a magnum revolver. Just punch it right out the back of his head. And then he lifts his arm up and he's like, I call this one Desert Storm. No way. What's that done? Desert Eagle?

Yeah, I call this one the Desert Eagle. This one Desert Storm and this one Desert Eagle. Yeah, this one's a gun, this one's a poorly planned military maneuver. So Billy is killing this guy unequivocally, because you can just take him out, but you want him dead? No, I want him dead. And I throw off my leather cap and smash it on the ground. And then I'm going to go run and retrieve my knife out of his head. Can I do that? Yeah, I'd say so. I think that they are all shocked enough.

When the guy's trying to do his strong arm monologue, like, hey, nice to see you dead. They're all just like, what? And you're just running. Because it's not that far away. It's like five feet away. How many? Sorry, go ahead. I just want to know how many people. There's four of them. I think I said five. One is now straight dead. Okay. Are you going to attack another one? Yeah, because I take this pause. Yeah, Billy runs up and grabs his knife.

I want to use that pause to like, like Billy just started a conflict. And I'm like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm already on board, man. I think I am too, mainly because they, well, one's dead already. Yeah. I guess in the first action. And then that's my friend. Yeah. Yeah, totally. She's thankfully free. She's going to start moving. Because she got surprised, basically. She's not a pushover, but she got jumped. So what's Tuck doing? I have my axe.

And I like, as soon as I see that guy start to fall and Billy run forward, I jump forward with the axe. And I'm going to bring it down on the guy next to him to protect Billy. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Give me a hack and slash. Three plus two is five. Boy, oh boy, oh boy. Oh, no. Boy, oh boy. I failed a lot this episode. Wow. He didn't roll enough shitty rolls out of you dice before. Clearly. This is what I'm talking about. So you jump forward and you're like, oh, just straight up.

Tuck makes a lot of noise when he fights, right? Like he's very grunty and shouty. Yeah. So you jump forward, you bring your axe down. And the one that was next to Billy that you were trying to chop, he was surprised, but he's, you can see the stance of an accomplished and experienced fighter in his posture or something. You looked good. Describe it more sexily. His footing changes, his calves tense. The fabric around his thighs. His punches. But also he goes before he moves.

You hear just the quietest. Anyways, he steps to the side and I'm feeling feelings. Yeah. And he just stabs you. Oh, yeah. Shit. You bring the axe down. He steps to the side and his hand comes up with a dagger in it that he didn't have in his hand previously. And he just stabs you in the shoulder. Oh, so roll a d6. Yeah. You. You got it. There's no opportunity not to take it. One. Okay. Well, he stabs. I have a plus one already. Yeah, you do. Just from being a tough boy. Yeah.

He dodges out of the way all cool. Stabs you really cool. And it's like, I got him. And you just look at him with his knife in your shoulder. Yeah. I take the knife out and stab him in the throat. Well, hold on. You failed. You don't get to act right away. I choose to act right away. No, you don't do anything. H plus two. Does not happen. No. So we're still in the same turn. Yeah. That's the first time I've done combat. Oh, yeah. So there aren't really turns. Okay. It's there's no initiative.

I just kind of direct the action and I go, okay, this is happening. What do you do? This is happening. What do you do? So yeah, you see tuck. You see Billy kill a person run up start scrounging on his body to get his knife out of his eye, which is an upsetting image. Now that I think about it and tuck jumped in instantly. It looks like these two back each other up without question, right? But now it's like a scrap like a fights happening. You see tuck get stabbed.

He's stabbed in the arm and nothing else has happened yet. And I'm like, good move, buddy. And then also, how does it work with a battle with tantamount? So yeah, when you attack somebody, you and tantamount attack the same character, same person, then you add it says when you attack the same target, add its ferocity to your damage. All right. I'm going to throw a throwing dagger at one of these dudes at the same person. And you want tantamount to attack the same. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, not the one that, that just stabbed, stabbed, tucked one of the other. So, um, most threatening. Yeah. Cartwin starts like, like basically grappling with one of them and the others are trying to get an idea of what's going on. And one is starting to come at you, has a knife in his hand and is ready to, ready to throw down. I'll, uh, I'll attack the, the one that's grappling with Cartwin. I think. So yeah, it'll be two D six plus dexterity using the volley move, which is a basic move. Okay.

So you just roll your damage die, which is a D eight. What's a, what's your damage mark? A one, a one. Interesting. Very interesting. Uh, what is tantamount ferocity? Uh, two. Okay. So that is three damage. Yeah. How do you signal tantamount to attack the person you're attacking? Um, well I can communicate with animals. Yeah. So I would basically, uh, through the same sort of, um, nonverbal communication that an animal would use to indicate that they're going to attack somebody. Yeah. Totally.

She saw that and she just knew. Cool. So you, um, throwing a dagger at him. Yeah. Getting a dagger. I'll getting it ready and then throwing it. She assumes that's throwing a knife at a person is a good indication that you're fighting. Sometimes cats just like to follow things that you throw though. So that might be, that's true. Yeah. You just pull a knife out of your jerkin or whatever off your belt. It's a, it's green and bumpy. Right. It's a gherkin. I forgot.

So you throw a knife, you pull a knife out of your gherkin and you whip it at this dude and it hits him in a little, like he's also got a gherkin of his own, but it's not green or bumpy. So it's just a regular jerkin and it's, it kind of sticks. It doesn't go deep enough to actually cut him and he laughs and then tantamount just hits him like a freight train. Wham. Yeah.

Wham on the ground getting raked and bit and she's making that crazy noise that cougars make, you know, that weird like screech. I'm not sure what exactly. I'm not doing it. Wow. Wow. Wow. Yeah. It sounds like that. It sounds like a, it sounds like a, a pedal, like a guitar pedal. It sounds like the red hot chili pepper. Yeah. Sounds like wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Give it away now. Yeah. And, uh, and so the guy's not dead, but he wishes he was. Oh yeah. Yeah.

He wishes that he were dead. Big pieces of her hanging on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, I don't want to have to listen to one more second of the red hot chili peppers. I would rather be dead. Yeah. Red hot chili peppers are fine. They're okay. I like them. They got a unique sound. No one really sounds like the chili peppers, right? Thank Christ. All right. And so, yeah, Billy. So I've yanked the knife out of the dude's eye and I've done like a really cool twirl with it.

And so blood like sprays everywhere. And then I'm just going to volley it again. You're going to throw it. Yeah. At the dude who, uh, I'm not going to throw it at the guy fighting tuck because it's too dangerous. I'm trying to try to hit the guy. I'm trying to hit the guy who's going to go after Shathane. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so yeah, there's a guy running at Shathane and Billy throws, he's got a pretty clear shot. So yeah. 2d6 plus dexterity for volley. It's a 12 with my dexterity. Good God.

Um, so I would like to just point out that the biggest, strongest guy never effectively attacks. And I think in the whole history of the game, I have never positively contributed to a fight. Uh, you killed a frog monster. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the only time. That's the last time that you've done well in a fight. Meanwhile, uh, Billy is a killing machine. I'm so mad.

You guys also thing more often than not just turns into, uh, an animal made of knives and just ruins whatever else is there, but you don't have that anymore. Uh, so yeah, Billy's in a bad mood. This is bad day, Billy. Um, so yeah, roll your damage. Whoa. Eight. Oh yeah. So this one goes through the back of his head. Yeah. It's in a wall with a brain attack. He's like sideways. He's so you see him from the side. So how does Billy kill this guy? It hits him in the neck and goes through the neck.

Like kind of like, like the blade kind of goes sideways and just like halves his neck and his head tips back. Yeah. Good God. Yeah. And I'm just like, Holy cow. I kind of feel bad about that one. But then I just stand like, come at me. Yeah. So Shathane, you see this, you, you throw a knife at the guy fighting Cartwin. The other dude is starting to run towards you. And this little brat that I thought was a giant pain in the ass has not only saved my life potentially, but sprayed the entire.

Oh yeah. There's blood. Of yesterday. In a huge rainbow of jugular blood. At least this little three walled area that, uh, Cartwin does her portraits in is like getting coated. Yeah. But yeah, so you, the guy's running at you. You see just like his head and then he's just bleeding. He hits the ground and you look over and Billy's got his arms up. Like what? Okay. So Billy just killed two people. Tuck got stabbed in the arm. Tantamount. So yeah, there are two. Yeah. You'll talk. There's two guy.

I'm one guy who hasn't been engaged. Yeah. And, but they're both like trying to get a good angle on tuck cause he's enormous. Yeah. So yeah, you've got the guy that stabbed you and you went good move pal. Yeah. I meant it. I was like, that was a good move. I didn't see it coming. At all. Yeah. But as I'm saying that I swing my ax vertically up while I'm talking to catch him in the bottom of the chip. I'm like, wow, that was impressive. And I just swing. Okay. Give me a hack and slash.

Cause he's different. He's got nothing. 12. Okay. Give me your damage. That's a one. Okay. Okay. And you get a plus one from your ax if you're fighting two handed. Okay. So I grip it with two hands and I swing upwards and I'm like, that was a good move. And while I'm saying that, I swing. I swing the ax upwards, slice through his nose. Uh, and then I don't know. What does he do? Uh, he goes, ow. Yeah. My nose is now two noses. He goes, ow.

Uh, so you cut like as you're swinging up his leather vest, absorb some of it. Like it just kind of stops, slows the movement a little bit. Yeah. And you do slice through the tip of his nose enough that he reels back and is holding his nose. Is his knife still in your arm? Did you pull that out? It's still in there. Okay. And he's knife-less and nose-less. Well, no, he's actually got more noses now than he used to. Uh, and he stumbles back and the other takes a jab at you. What do you do? What?

With what? A knife. They've all got knives. With a knife? Okay. The hot meat boys fight with knives. Uh, I, so I move into it, but, uh, I push my kind of like arm and bicep and shoulder into where he's, uh, he's stabbing to like get him to like bury it into my body. Okay. So that's a defy danger constitution. This is so you can attack him after that. Yeah. But you're still going to be taking damage and potentially taking damage twice. Uh, yeah. All right. Defy danger constitution.

Uh, seven, eight, nine. If he stabs you like you're moving into this to a range where your ax would not be effective. I can't use an ax. No, it's like, it's basically like trying to hit somebody with a baseball bat when you're lying on top of them. Okay. Yeah. That's the strategy that came to my mind. You know what I mean? You know, remember when I did that? Uh, yeah. So that's basically the situation. You won't be able to use your ax. Okay. That's fine. Okay. Uh, roll a D six for being stabbed.

Okay. Three, three. So you take two damage. Okay. So he stabbed me with his knife. I take the knife that's in my shoulder and stab him in the throat. Okay. Uh, give me a hack and slash. 12. That is a success. And as I'm doing it, I'm like, sorry about your friend. Okay. So, but I'm saying that to the guy whose nose like split and half. Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. Roll your damage again. Third three. Yeah. He, uh, catches it right in the zone. Yeah.

Right in where his head connects to his body and he, uh, is straight dead for sure. He dies fairly quickly. Okay. He's got a knife in his throat and yeah, you've got a dead man on a knife and his friend is still kind of reeling, but he's getting ready to get back up. Well, he's knife-less. He's got two noses and he just saw five, four people get slaughtered within and one is still alive, but under tantamount, like still kind of grappling. So the last one starts running, like just books it.

Should we try and get him? He's running. Yeah. You're, you're all fighting and you see this guy run away. I want to use my bow, I think. Uh, yeah. Yeah. It's the first arrow we've had. That's why. It's the first time somebody's, yeah. In over a year of play. The first time someone, a character has used a bow. And he's running away. So I think we'll be into the, yeah, this is range. He's like, he's getting, it's one of those things where he's running away and you start to gauge the distance.

And I'm like, I'm a ranger. I'm going to shoot this piece of shit. Yeah. He's like pushing through people and he knocks over a cart of stuff. I'm getting pretty excited because it doesn't happen often as the prefect of mall security at the, at the High Spear Mall City that I used to go to. Yeah. It's the only mall city that I get to use. Is that what your title is? Prefect? Oh yeah. Oh, that's awesome. I like that. Um, you didn't see the badge that I had? It's hidden by the cloak, I guess.

Anyway. Um, so I will, I'm going to shoot this guy with an arrow. Yeah. Volley? Volley. All right. Yeah. Unless he, for some reason, isn't expecting me to shoot him in the back as he runs away. Well, he's defensive. He's trying to run away. All right. So called shot then I guess. Okay. Um, can you read off the description of called shot? All right. When you attack a defenseless or surprise enemy at range, you can choose to deal your damage or name your target and roll plus dexterity.

And seven to nine, they do nothing but stand and drool for a few moments. Yeah. So basically if you, if you hit this dude, but you don't kill him, he's going to be out of commission. What, what is your called shot? Knowing that you could well just kill him if you do hit him. Yeah. I, I feel a little bit like, uh, I'm getting a little excited. It's reminding me of the olden days. Yeah. I've seen a lot of heads explode, a lot of head damage. So I think I'm going to do, I'm going to call headshot.

Okay. Okay. So. Okay. So. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So yeah, go for it. Roll your two D six plus dexterity. Nine plus two 11. That's an 11. So, uh, give me your damage, which is a D eight two. Okay. Uh, yeah. So this is not going to kill him, but describe what it will do. He's got one of these dumb helmets that Billy just trashed. Uh, so that may be a deflected a bit kind of, instead of going right into the back of his head, it kind of scrapes up the back of his skull. Yeah.

So you, you get like the, the clasp.

Classic sharpshooter like movie shot where you pull the arrow back you close one eye there's some let fly there's a couple seconds of like airtime where there's nothing happening and the guy's still running camera on the arrow yeah it's that kind of thing where the arrow is spinning and the camera's watching it spin and then just wham hits this guy and you see him in the distance skid and trip and fall into a table of like merchandise and just hit the ground and he's he's not moving sick and then I look a little bit at fat billy I'm like I give one of the shoulder yeah and then I do an air high five and hit me in the knee pat yeah car twins like breathing pretty heavy you all kind of you get back in tantamile stalks off of this not moving person the light has gone out of their eyes and tantamile looks pleased with herself so I'll uh I'll grab car twin and I'll say till we get this mess all cleaned up I think we all better get out of here says yeah uh yeah okay um yeah okay and she so I can do that I can do that sorry it's been a while since I've been in a fight like that uh I can I can do the portraits at the at the at the headquarters and she grabs some paper and her supplies and you guys head off yeah grab my dagger yeah grab my dagger I um I take the second knife out of my arm and I'm like billy do you want an extra knife sure thank you there you go so you get a you get an extra knife it's technically a dirk which is a I believe a thin curved knife yeah or it's a guy that bullied you in mid-six I'll try and find the latest or the closest um cleaning elf with his little mop oh yeah and his little yellow sign and I'll just point over to where the mess is and I'm like get this cleaned up do you go to like the tubes in the wall and you're like yeah no I just I just have to tell one that's that's elf work is talking on the tubes no I just point at one I'm like get this cleaned up but they've already started oh yeah no problem good as done and there's some weird elves in like all white clothing like dragging bodies into a door starting to mop up uh yeah and you head back to headquarters yeah and car twin is sitting at your desk if you need help finding your friend I think I can help okay so billy hugs her leg I'm sorry I called you the b word oh that's fine it's not the first time so what's next can we please get these portrait izes finished all right I think that's gonna do it for this week thank you for listening to Spout Lore coming back each and every second week or whenever you are listening to this maybe you listen to them all at once because this is four years in the future and I'm going to be back in a couple of weeks and I'll see you next time bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye L You know when you see someone hit a golf ball and they know what they're doing?

Thanks to technical producer Wes Lord for making it happen. Thanks to Aaron Reed for the amazing intro and outro music that we all love so much. And thank you to Mark and MP for letting us record in their home. Damn straight. Yeah. And we'll catch you next week, people. Goodbye. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3.

Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week To hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly spell poor