Episode 9 – Forbidden Technique

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara, joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz Hello everybody, here searching for the Kestrel, whatever the fuck that is It's a bird We do know that Playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers I'll get to the bottom of this, hi Playing Fat Billy the halfling thief, Jessica Tai Hello It is now like we are in, like, the Maltese Falcon Yeah, now would you like it?

Energy wise Cigarettes getting smoked on camera Uh, when last we left our heroes, they had emerged from hither and yon to the Mayor Fair An event which takes place to allow different mayoral candidates to present to the people of High Spirit And is also a carnival of sorts Uh, the party decided that they have to stick around to keep Morris and Perel safe And also get to the bottom of what the hell Etienne Boggins is doing here When in reality the answer might be simply running for mayor But it was too big, it was too obvious An offer for it to just be that Yeah, you're not wrong Um, the party deduced that there were some sinister secretive figures milling about in the crowd That seemed to be dangerous And learned from a ragamuffin that Billy met Called Buttons That Etienne Boggins appeared in town just a few weeks ago In the accompaniment of some sinister figures Yeah Yeah Real kinda like Secret Service types Mm-hmm Yeah So the party gave Victor the Liar Wolf a temporary illusory human form Which he became obsessed with immediately Uh, and then the party decided to head to the Spearmint B&B Where the ragamuffin said Etienne and his security staff had been working out of and also staying The party decided to stealth operation into this place Initially I thought you were just gonna sneak in But then your plan became get outfits and walk in the front door That guy's gonna wake up Remember we were the last people that he talked to right before he fell asleep mysteriously And then go to the board with one key missing And then go to that room and find us there Yeah Well, try getting us out It's gonna work Squatters rights Squatters rights, dude Squatters rights We're not even in that room, you idiot Because we're next door Squatters rights in a motel Find an inn Tuck got some clothes from a man named Randall that he met in the refugee camp outside of the city In exchange for offering Randall some free shampoos from the hotel Right Uh I can imagine his name was Randall River Oh my gosh, yes Maybe, maybe he was Oh yeah, because he's from the Riverways Yep Related to Randy River, the centaur salesman from McCall Oh, we already did that joke Yeah, shit Great Yeah Who knows Man, we gotta end this show, we're repeating jokes now Yeah, no Eat cartridges We could just use like other names Yeah Back then, Preston Young dressed in free Etienne Boggins campaign merch Yeah To present as a super fan And Billy found a bag that used to have donuts in it Yeah That was his outfit The party poisoned and manipulated the front desk clerk at the Spearmint B&B Got a room key and stole the ledger Getting one of the palatial two double bed suites Oof With a bathroom Then the party realized that Etienne Boggins' room was directly across the room directly across the hall and the room of his security team is right next to you so tuck climbed out on the windowsill the by far one of the largest people to maybe ever live in the principalities uh creeping across at the sill of a building wearing an extremely tight button-up shirt and what are your pants pretty pants I mean with the word randall across the back yeah randall's shirt and randall's pants is what your clothes say the person inside the room was almost alerted to tuck's presence before billy ran out to the front and created a convincing illusion of himself as a bag of fresh hot donuts knocking on the door and distracting him long enough for bing and tuck to both awkwardly climb through the window while the man first and a bunch of birds shit on us yeah we're covered in bird shit you got shit on by a bunch of birds uh the man inside whose name is thandy was enraptured by the free donuts and decided to spend a long time running around the room and he was able to get to the door and he was able to get to the door reminiscing about his life in the high spear mall out loud and then also give up some expository information to a supposedly empty room before being captured by tuck and bing threatened into working for them which he just revealed that etienne was wearing a wig yeah and that sometimes he doesn't speak with his accent right yeah yeah it would seem he is not part of whatever sinister highly trained security people are out there and was in fact hired on from the local area by an individual named the kestrel kestrel and then the door started rattling and here we are now what do you do hide hide I'm already hiding yeah you're a bag of donuts yeah you pop into it well he's still got the billy still has the illusion going I mean as long as they don't reach in they won't know yeah in the bag I take you to go uh into the bathroom oh yeah smart no he comes with you because he's already agreed to work with you because you threatened him right yeah oh yeah yeah we still have to work with you because you threatened him right yeah oh yeah yeah we said we would kill him if he betrayed us you know he works for us get in the bathroom so we can kill you if you don't come out of the bathroom you're gonna put him in the bathroom and you're gonna stay in the room no no we're all going into the bathroom to the bathroom the bathroom door closes so the door closes and thandy's like what are we doing in the bathroom we're hiding from whoever was coming into the door who would be jiggling your door handle I don't know could have been anybody is it just your room or no this is where I'll do yeah sorry I jumped in there you were gonna say there's a whole security it's all everybody's in this room together it's the security room this is the security bathroom okay what if somebody has to take a shit then just say you're taking a shit okay all right shut up take your pants off what convincing illusion to make it convincing okay yeah no wait hold on okay and then he takes his pants he unbuttons his belt he puts his pants around his waist he goes just wait here and he opens the door and he walks out with his pants around his ankles yeah tech starts farting to make it seem like he did shit in there can I roll to make it to make it you can absolutely just fart okay you do not have to roll I want to make it so bad when the guy's not in the bathroom anymore yeah or as he's leaving but you want to you want to make an audible fart to make a silent stinky silent stinky so if you feel bad it's audible he hears a fart because I don't want anyone to come in here and I want them to believe that he was okay this is the most serious I hate this show yeah what's that no sorry I said I love it I love what you're thinking I love where your head's at if I do this well yes then nobody will come into the bathroom yes because it's going to smell too bad I I fully understand patrons it's happening somehow they got a hold of this raw recording oh no we're live streaming we're live streaming right now oh god we have one patron left and they're giving us ten thousand dollars you were rolling to fart I believe yes yes so 2d6 plus constitution 2d 2d 2d6 all right jess please bless these dice read it uh eight plus three 11 oh my god okay so you hottest most silent stinky is I open my butthole so it's so silent tuck you grab your butt cheeks from inside randy's pants it's spread so that there's like an open canal where the but not too much sometimes if you go too far this way your mind's just not gone anyway yeah yeah yeah tuck did this once and he did a little shit by accident in the kitchen ving did it once and it was like squeezing the opening of a balloon and it went really high pitched and vito came in the room and said don't ever do that again yeah and what emerges from within tuck is horrifying all he's been eating is mirza's ghoul it's ghoulish what comes out no and you hear the door open and you hear like a muttering voice on the other side of the door and you hear thady going oh no I was just taking a shit in here as you can see by the fact that my pants are down right now you caught me mid shit and you can oh god you can probably smell that huh I know I can smell it that's my shit so you could come in if you want to come in that's what I thought I'll just be in this room finishing whatever I was doing in here as you can see from my pants being down it cuts back to tuck and it's like still coming out it's just like ving's mouth is open he wishes it wasn't his eyes are full of tears and he's like what is happening here all right tuck's concentrating so hard this is so not us billy and ving you both get hit by this wave it feels like death is reaching through the veil I gotta roll plus constitution see if I can survive this fart yeah absolutely yeah yeah 2d6 was con 2d6 oh I think I did it whoa I got 10 10 okay so you just how do you survive um duck turns around I mean he's looking up from his but you've maybe pointed your butthole towards the crack in the door I have I've pushed it up against it so you're fully squatted on the ground your asshole breast against the door nothing is coming out he's got amazing rectal control it's phenomenal it's unparalleled that's the one thing that tuck remembers from that night with allison is that she said you have amazing rectal control oh yeah some say there's still some glass beads inside and uh tuck looks up at ving and he's got two mini bottles of shampoo stuffed up each nostril and he's like billy close your mouth don't let me get inside your mouth yeah billy's still on the side table as a bag of donuts scent is filling the main room absolutely so billy what do you do the powdered sugar around me is turning brown from the smell is he creeping up the bag like some sort of a draught billy like grabs some of the I don't know I imagine there's like draw strings on this bag and I don't know he tries to leave a few of his widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz I don't know.

He tries to like tie it shut, but now he, but like, of course it's burlap. So the smell is coming in anyway. He's just trapped himself. He's Dutch heavening himself. Do I roll to survive this? Yeah, this is like, depending on how you're trying to survive it, it's a defy danger of some kind. I'm trying to do it like mentally. Cause I've trapped myself in my own prison of linen fabric. So I guess it would be 2d6 plus wisdom. Cause you're trying to like meditate through it into your mind palace.

Yeah. I go into my mind palace. And remember you have a debility to wisdom because you're in your summer form. It doesn't even matter. Cause I do it anyway. Oh, what'd you get? 10. Okay. Nice. 10. So what does this look like? How does Billy meditate his way through this? Somehow gets into his soup palace. Oh, right. He's in a big bowl of soup. Yeah. I'm in an ocean of soup. It's like French onion soup. It's gotta be the smelliest one you can get.

It is little summer fairy crop top and sunglasses like on the soup beach. Yeah. He's laying on a little toasted cheese baguette. Yeah. Floating on the soup. I'm just thinking about things like fresh air. There's a fucking doo-wop dance happening around you. Yeah. Doo-wop dance. Like all the fucking ingredients are just like doing like a synchronized swimming in the soap. Yeah. Yeah. Summertime Billy. Yeah. Billy.

So since you're in the main room, you could potentially hear the voice on the other side. Am I able to see kind of, cause burlap is like pretty like loose weave. Can I see through the fabric to see like who is it? Yeah. Yeah. Who's at the door? You can discern realities for sure to see what you can catch. Oh God. That's good. Three. Yeah. So you definitely fail. So what would the failure here be? You already survived the fart. So I'm not going to make it fart related. Unless I fall off.

I fall off. The bag just falls off the table. Oh yeah. The door just faded. Like you're trying to look through the burlap sack and the door like. And I'm leaning. Fandy does open the door, not all the way, but you're like, oh, if I lean over, I could see who's at the door. And you scoot, scoot, scoot, tip, flop right onto the ground. Big thump. And Fandy, who did not know Billy was a bag of donuts, turns around and goes, ah! Wait, he sees me. I'm closed up in the bag. Oh yeah. I know.

But he sees the bag fall on the ground. Right. He just did not know that you were, you were the bag of donuts. He hasn't clued in to the fact that you're in there. He just thinks it's a bag of donuts. So he turns. And like, as he turns. And surprise, the door does like creak open. And on the other side, you see Etienne Boggins. Oh, what? A very lean, foppish looking man. I believe middle-aged was what we said. Kind of like forties to fifties. I just pictured John Waters. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

He's got a weird little mustache. He's got, I think he's got kind of like longish hair, like, like not quite shoulder length, but around there, like a very stylish hairdo. Although it looks quite frazzly right now. Billy, you can see from where you are in your bag, looking through the burlap curled up. You see Etienne look past Thandie, whose pants are fully down, by the way, still. Ew. His dingling is just like. Oh no, he's wearing. Flapping in the wind.

He pulled his pants down, but left his underwear up. It's an illusion. Yeah. A crime. I had time to pull up my underwear, but did not pull up my pants because I was shitting so much. I also imagine that he was doing them up. He was like, oh, I'm just leaving the bathroom. And then the smell hit him. The smell hit him and he just like. Let go. Oh, he rolled by his head and his pants just like, whoop, flared to the ground.

Some of the security guys come down the hallway and they're like, we smelled something really bad. Did somebody die or something in here? We heard that something smells really bad in here. There's like a bomb unit. There's a big hawk of the town. Someone in like one of those, like hurt locker suits. Somebody's got some smelling salts in front of a canine unit trying to wake a dog up. Yeah. The canine unit died. Poor dogs have died trying to come into this building.

It cuts to outside the shot of the square and it's like a police barricade. There's a six gun salute with four small graves. They're burying a dog funeral outside. Jets going. Leaving smoke in the colors of the high spear flag. And it looks like World War Z out there. It smells like it in here. Just people lying in the streets. Absolutely done. Cards on fire. Yeah. It was like a riot broke out as soon as the smell hit the square. And Randy's still in the middle of the fountain.

Randy's, he's, oh yeah. He's having a delightful time. Just he's, yeah, that's, he was so clean. It's like the, it's like the black plague. Like the people that kept clean were the ones that survived. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a bunch of plague doctors out there. In the long beak noses. Just for one fart. One horrible fart. It's still going. It's not over. This is still happening. Something bad is happening in the background of our world. And it's your fart. What do you mean over?

It's all your fart. And you see Etienne look past Thandie to your burlap sack on the ground. And his eyes narrow. And he starts walking forward into the room. And he's getting really close. And he's getting really close. And he's getting really close. He's getting really close to the bag. He's starting to crouch down. Oh no. He's reaching out a finger. I can't do anything though. I'll give myself away. I flush the toilet. His head turns towards the bathroom.

And he starts walking towards the bathroom door. You hear footsteps on the other side of the door. I can't flush it. Tex Butthole is pressing it. You cannot get in. Yeah. You hear, Etienne stops at the doorway and turns and goes, Thandie, I thought you said you were the one who was going to do this. You were the only one in the room. Then he goes, um, yeah, the toilet is does, it does this thing sometimes when flushes on its own. Dude, it's the quantity of shit inside it. It's a safety feature.

It's a safety feature. Can I put my fart into overdrive? You're going to try and knock him out with your fart? The only thing you can do from now on is like shit. I was going to say a fart in overdrive is a shit. Is a shit. Can I do that? I'm willing to let this roll happen. No. Oh no. Yeah. Unless you can come up with some other option. Can I aid by also farting with my butthole wide open? I mean, you can start the fart for sure. You can, you can add to the fart. What are we doing?

We're entertaining ourselves. We are entertaining ourselves. This is our podcast. I'm going to fart also. Okay. Okay. This is adding to the fart. 2D6 plus constitution. 2D. 2D. Nice. Constitution. I got 11. Wow. We're killing these roles. These fart roles. Okay. So you also start farting in this room. At that sound. Can I sneak out the bag? Uh, you can definitely try. I think Etienne is hit by the second fart.

Cause recall, he's about to reach out and open this door and then he gets hit by two powerful farts. Yeah. I, oh man, I'm having trouble with this. That's fair. This is fair. This is so stupid. But he is, his eyes close. They flutter closed and he goes, Fandy, if this room is not recovered by the end of the hour, I will fire you. Oh, and he pulls out like a little handkerchief and he presses it to his face and he storms out of the room. Billy, are you trying to sneak out?

I want to sneak out before, like while they're busy looking at each other. Absolutely. Yeah. 2D6 plus dexterity. Good sneaky. 12. Good God. That's sick. Yeah. So you, you creep your arms. Yeah. And I do that. Under the bed. Under the bed. Perfect. Right under the bed. I leave the bag there. And as Etienne leaves, Thandie closes the door and goes, oh, I was so afraid. And he's like, cover, he's like covering his face and knocking on the door. Yeah. Okay.

You can stop whatever you're doing in there. Provide, provided the two of you are still alive. Okay. We just have to wipe. And a few seconds later, the door opens. Everything has been done. Yeah. Thandie pulls his pants back up. Goes, all right. Now, I think it's time that you guys tell me a little bit about what you're doing here. Instead of just sneaking into my room while I'm looking at my hot, fresh bag of fresh donuts.

And he turns back to the donuts and he goes, oh, he crouches down and he pokes the bag. Hold on a second. What happened to my donuts? Things are not what you think. And he turns to you with malice in his eyes. What do you mean? We are here with a purpose beyond even yourself. What did you do to my donuts? Billy? I, uh, I come out of the bed, out of the bed. It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. It was I, the donuts. You were the donuts all along? I was.

I'm sorry to have betrayed you in this way. He runs his hand through his hair and he walks to the window. I got a hair bag of donuts. Now it turns out that all the things I was afraid of are true. Wait, what? I don't have any donuts. That's everything you were afraid of? I thought I had them. Maybe I'm not being clear about this. I found a hot, fresh bag of fresh donuts outside my door. And I was on top of the world.

But now I find out that this little boy and I get kidnapped by two disgusting, smelly freaks. He shakes his head. If only my mother could see me now. So sorry, Thandie. It's just that. We need some info. And this was the only way to get in. Thandie, do you know who you're working for? Yeah. Who? The Kestrel. The Kestrel. That's the only name I know is the Kestrel. How did they hire you? Where? I had a meeting with an intermediary at a place inside. What's happening to my voice?

I'm losing my voice. Losing my voice. I had a meeting with the intermediary of the Kestrel inside the Highspiel Mall. Do you think you could set up a meeting with this intermediary? Oh. To say that you want to come on as extra additional security? Yeah. Here's the thing, Thandie. Etienne is a bad, bad man. He destroyed an entire town totally on his own. Nobody else's fault. We tried to stop him, but there's nothing we could do.

We tried to stop him so many times, and he just gave it over to these disgusting frogmen. Oh, no. That's what happened to Mudlark. No, he said he was the savior of Mudlark. He's a liar, Thandie. A lot of people say a lot of things that aren't true. But that can't be true. Well, think about the donut bag. That wasn't true. Oh, my God. You're right. That's what Boggins did to Mudlark. A wig? Who wears a wig? Somebody who's hiding the truth. Why does his voice change, Thandie?

You think if he was on the up and up, he would be changing his voice all the time? Yeah. Well, here's the thing. Thandie, your voice never changed. No, my voice has been consistent the whole time you've known me. That's right. And you're an honest person. I am an honest person. Except for the fact that I may or may not be honest. I am. I may or may not be a criminal for hire. But that is beside the point. I never tell a lie. A criminal who works for money is not a criminal really. You know what?

You're right. Trying to help someone grow. You're right. Okay. You're right. It is morally okay for me to continue doing crimes. It's just a job. Because they're paying you. Because I'm being paid. If what I was doing was illegal, would I be getting paid for it? That's right. Yeah. Anyway. See, this is what I told my mom. She did not buy it. We have not sold it. We have not sold it. We have not sold it. We have not sold it. We have not sold it. We have not sold it. She did not buy it.

We have not spoken since. It has been two weeks. I cannot get my clothes. I miss my mommy. I miss my mommy. We have weekly tea times while we go and watch the DeSomme Creek Theatre Society. Okay. So I feel like I have decided to trust you guys too quickly. So you have to convince me to get you to set up a meeting. Okay. We can get you these donuts. If that's really what you want, I'm willing to get you donuts. The mall has a meeting. Okay. We'll get you those donuts. You met at the mall.

Take us to the mall. Get us to meet the intermediary. We'll get you those donuts. We'll get you whatever donuts you want. However many you want. Yeah. Oh, what? You're telling me I could get the big boy bucket of donuts? For sure you can. Yeah, totally. There's like 50 donuts in there. 50 of your donuts. Yeah. Oh my God. He walks back over to the window. This is it, Dandy. Everything that you've ever been afraid of is no longer happening. It's like a tuck face imprint and .

And all the lamps and plants and shit are knocked over near the window. And it still smells. It smells really bad. It still smells like shit. Okay. Wait, no. Okay. So donuts is what you're going to offer me? Yeah. Yeah. We'll get you donuts. All right. Going to have to roll a parlay. Two to six plus charisma. I got this, guys. Zero charisma. Oh. You can do it. Do you have charisma? It feels like literally anybody else should do this. No. Hey, he's rolling the dice. You can do it. You can do it.

Two to six plus charisma. Look at that. So we have to give him a donut right now? Yeah. I can't risk my job, my livelihood. I can't risk my relationship with my mother. If you're going to do this, you got to give me a taste of the good life. You got to get me some donuts before. Get the hell out of here. Okay. Get the hell out of here. Oh my God. No, sorry. I'm trying to be assertive. This is part of my resolution for this year. I've been talking about this with my mom.

She said I have to be more assertive. She said, Dandy, you're not assertive enough. My mom is making me be assertive. Yeah. Why don't we threaten him again? Yeah. Yeah. We could just open our asshole right here, right now. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I haven't unleashed what I got in here. Okay. Roll a two to six plus charisma. Plus threatening. 11. Oh, Jesus Christ. The threat was that you would fart also. I would fart also. Yeah. I can only handle two. Come on. Three. Look at me.

Round. You know what that is? Full of air. Hot air. Stinky air. No, please. Come on. I'm going to throw a donut. I'm going to throw a donut. I'm going to throw a donut. I'm going to throw a donut. Please. Come on. I just want some donuts. I'm going to do it. You can just go and give me donuts. I'm going to do it right now. Okay. All right. I'm fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. So, I'm setting up … You want me to set up a meet so you can get hired and meet Etienne Boggins?

Well, we want to get hired and know who the Kestrel is because Etienne is never a guy who's been the person who pulls the strings. Really? It sounds like this Kestrel that hired you. Might be the puppet master at work. Right. Or an intermediary to the puppet master. Okay. All right. Two big boys. Well, two big boys. And then one boy. And one little boy who would be perfect for this detail. All right. But you guys got to get out of here. You can't come out of the room. You got to get out of here.

Okay. Yeah. We'll climb back. I'll get it set up and you can meet me at where? The donut place. A donut place in the mall. Yeah. Big boys. Oh, big boys. Okay. You meet me at Big Boys Donuts in the High School Mall at … What time is it now? Let's do four o'clock. Okay. We've never said actual times. No. That would feel weird. Do we have clocks? Yeah, we have clocks. Is it regular times? 24 hour days? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were talking about the shadow of the spear. Oh, yeah.

Oh, meet me when the shadow of the spear is high. Okay. Okay. At Big Boy Donuts in the mall. Okay, bye. Okay, bye. Get out. Okay. And he starts pushing you towards the window. Go, go. We go out. Climb out. And you hear him open the door as you're climbing out the window. Boy, I'm glad I took that shit. Clearly, I really had to. I'm glad I took that shit. I'm glad I took that shit. I'm glad I took that shit. Because it smells like the shit of two grown men. Door slams.

And you're back in your room. Okay, cool. Cool. So we have this meeting set up with this puppet master potential. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And we could cut ahead? Let's do it. Or do we have anything that you guys want to do in between now and the meeting? The only thing we have to do is bring Randall shampoos and continental breakfast. We can grab some. Oh, yeah. I grabbed one of each. I feel like we should give Victor and Morris and Perel the room. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think we can get the room keys, too, so that they have somewhere to hang out. That's smart. Oh, yeah. Right. So they can just go back to Heather and Jan? No, the Spearmint B&B. Oh, the room keys to the Spearmint B&B. Yeah. So you go and meet Morris and Perel and Victor, who are at- well, Morris and Perel are sitting at a table outside a cafe- Yeah. Having food and drinks. Yeah. And Victor, you can see, is lurking in an alleyway, peeking around a corner, watching them. Okay.

You're talking to Morris and Perel. You can see him halfway down the block peeking out of an alleyway. Yeah. With his new Russian head. Yeah. And, dude, do you have anything you want to deal with these guys, or do you just hand the keys off and- Have you ever heard of anyone who calls himself the Kestrel? No, I don't think so. Seems to be some kind of crime lord or something that's trying to install Etienne Boggins as mayor here. What? Why? I don't know. Guy's a total dildo.

Why would anyone want him to be mayor? Yeah. That is odd. And you're going to go deal with this, then? Yeah. We're going to go try and figure out what's going on, because it seems like too much of a coincidence that Etienne Boggins is here. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Cool. Well, I feel like our thing, we can't really … We're not going to keep going until you guys are done with this. So we'll just go back to the B&B? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's the keys. Great. Two beds? Yeah. Two beds.

Did you guys already call one? No. Okay. Great. They're going to fucking both our beds. Oh, no. And Morris and Perel head off back down the street, and you see Victor creep out. He's like, get out of the alleyway. Kind of slinks up to all of you, and he's like, don't worry. I am keeping a close eye on those two pathetic men. They do not know that I am here. I am a shadow in the night of day, and I lurk on the edge of danger. You hear Morris go, Victor. He goes, I must go.

Victor, protect one of the beds from them. Oh, there are two beds? There are two beds. One of those beds shall be mine. Okay. Okay. I am going to go down the road. On all fours. Yeah. Every once in a while, the illusion fucks up, and he drops to all fours. Great. So then we cut to the time where the shadow is high. Oh, no. You want to go give Randy, Randall the- Oh, yeah. And he's still in the fountain. Randall. Oh, my God. You came back. Yeah. I got these for you, and I pass them.

And he grabs them. This is a shampoo and a conditioner? Yeah, man. Oh, my God. I can shampoo and condition all my hairs. They had one in me. One of each. What about the continental breakfast? I slide over a container of sausages and grits. He surreptitiously takes it like he's taking a bag of weed from you. Yeah. And he brings the container up to his nose, and he cracks it, takes a deep sniff. Oh, that's the stuff. And Tuck just hands him a giant column of cereal. Oh, wow.

It's got the thing on it. And he starts twisting it, and it's falling into the fountain. Look at that. Portion control. Yeah. He's like, I'm going to get a jamadilla meat in this thing. And he pops the top on the shampoo, and he starts shampooing his hair. Vang hands him a waffle machine. Oh, all right. Cool. Okay. I ate the waffle that was in there, but this will be good for a while. You know, teach a man to fish. You can feed yourself for years with this thing. You know what?

First time I saw you two, and oh, there's a third one. He's little. I didn't see him before. First time I saw you two plus one. I thought I was going to have to kill you. What? Whoa. It's hard out here on the streets. Whoa. But now that you've set me up for life, I think I found a friend. Plus one plus another friend. And you can join me anytime. You know what? I'm going to take this. I'm going to take this. He holds up the waffle thing and the cereal thing.

I'm going to make a new life for myself. This is the first day of Randall's new life. He's making a continental breakfast. And it's all thanks to you two plus one. Now, if you're interested in this, you can go to the YouTube channel. I'm going to put it in the description. I'm going to put it in the description. I'm going to put it in the description. And he's going to take two two plus one. Now, if you don't mind me- I'm starting to think that he can't count to three.

He stands up out of the fountain, dripping wet, completely nude, shampoo still in his hair. I bid you adieu. So long, Randall. So long. Now, it's time for me to hit the old dusty trail. And he gets out of the fountain and starts walking away with a waffle maker over his shoulder and a cereal thing under his arm, just soaking wet. Ving puts a scarf around his waist. .

Looks like a jaunty sash perfectly framing his ass dick and balls as randall walks off into the sunset it is the middle of the day it is not sunset yet okay so we cut to the time when the spear shadow of the spear is high yeah aka four o'clock four o'clock uh you enter the high spear mall for the first time in quite a long time it is just as formerly ostentatious as you remember there's a lot of busted up shop fronts there are rusting safety rails on the various floors there's lean twos and shacks hanging from the ceiling and pressed up against every like water and vines dripping inside sort of things or plants inside yeah maybe since the oh maybe since the last time you've been here yeah there's like a lot of plants growing in the mall yeah there's like overgrown sections or like vines climbing up posts like to the ceiling but there's still stores and people in here oh yeah there's still stores and people okay but uh for for us around the table this place looks even worse than it does in Mall Brats okay it is 40 years gone yeah um we're Mall Brats it's like still like a fun mall yeah this place it's like it's gotten quite a bit worse yeah in the intervening decades you follow the directions that uh you received from the little kiosk at the front like with the big map on it yeah you are here which is just got an elf crawling around inside of it pointing at different parts of the mall map and uh you follow the directions to big boys donuts also there is a mall's worth of shit here if there's anything you want to do while you're in the mall hmm I do need a couple more poultices is there a body shop in here oh you better believe there's a body shop in here okay uh it is called sage sages sages uh apostrophe s hey welcome welcome to sages oh my god it smells incredible in here oh thank you oh my god it smells incredible in here oh my god it smells incredible in here oh thank you it's the sages are you sage I'm sage this is my sister sage oh the sages the sages yeah nice what can we do for you I'm trying to get a poultice oh yeah I've used up all my uses oh yeah what's your kind of like basis uh mostly oil-based I'm an oil-based guy you know anything that I can just add to I just like the the rudimentary base poultice I'm going to use the poultice I'm going to use the I'm out in the woods all the time.

I can find things to top it up with. Oh, forage, hand forage. Nice. Very nice. Thank you. Okay, we can help you over here. Great. How much? How much? I don't have any money. Where's all our money? You might not have any money. We haven't had money for months. Yeah, because we've been living in a tent that creates food for us. Do they accept trade? Oh, they would accept, everybody accepts, especially the High Spear Mall. Yeah. So yeah, this usually runs, it's like 10 coins, 10, 11 coins.

Holy shit. Oh my gosh. That's at least what it says in the book. I don't know why it's so expensive. For how many uses? Two uses. That's it? Two uses of pulses? You'll buy like a house with 10 coins. Hey, all I'm reading is the Dungeon World SRD, okay? Okay, I have a deal for you. I don't have any money on me. Listen to this. Okay. As a trade, this here, and I pull out, I have three Hibernia Waters. Whoa. Holy shit. Oh my goodness. I have, I'll. Trade you one.

This is water, druidic water from the well of Hibernia. You've heard of this? Of course. I thought it was a myth. It is no myth. This can make many, many, many potions. I assume. Is this a thing that Ving thinks to be true or is he trying to scam these people? No, no. He thinks it's very true. Yeah. Like it's good for all sorts of things. It is. I've used it for, I don't remember what. Oh, what did we use it for? I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think.

I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. Oh, yeah. It helps a lot. It helps a lot. It helps a lot. It helps a lot. It helps a lot. It helps a lot. It helps a lot. It helps a lot. Of water on the roots and then the tree reacted poorly to it. And then a hole opened in the ground in the garden around the tree. We fell in there. Which we eventually saved the tree. We didn't save the tree. We had to plant a new one. And the new one lived. Not good. Then yeah, go ahead and roll 2d6 plus charisma.

Okay. Ooh, boxcars plus charisma. Holy shit! Oh yeah, they are more than willing to accept this trade. For how many poultices can I get with this? Well, what are you suggesting? I'm suggesting you give me 5. 5? 50 coins worth? 50 coins worth. You're never going to get there. They can't even find Hibernia, let alone go to the well of my family well. This is only one of this thing. Sage and Sage look at each other. And Sage loves to rip off like, eastern cultures. 100%.

Oh yeah, do I still have that coin with the hole in the middle of it? Yeah. Sage is like, Sage, we might never have this opportunity again. And Sage is like, yeah, but how do we know if it's authentic? And Sage goes, we get to decide if it's authentic. That's our responsibility as white store owners. That's our power as marketers who created the brand. That is the power of the Sage brand. We get to decide. These things are real.

What we do, Sage, is we take this Hibernian water and we take a drop and we put it in a full jar of water and then we say it's essence of Hibernian water. We can make a fortune. A fortune. Very well. They reach out, snatch the… I snatch 5 poultices. So now you have 10 uses of poultice and herb. Holy shit. What do you mean? I got 2 times 5? No, it's 5 and each one is 2 uses. Oh, each one is 2 uses? So it's 70 hit points? I thought that's what you were saying. That's awesome. Holy shit.

That's sick. Oh my god, guys, I have so many poultices. Wait, did I just get scammed? Yeah, dude, that's awesome. Yeah, that's great. I thought that's what you were asking for. It was 10 poultices. That's amazing. Water that will be very difficult for you to get. Yeah, I only have 2 of those left. That's fair. Can't hang on to everything, you know? Great, yeah. And then you leave Sages. Thank you, Sages. Good luck with your scamming. They bow to you. Really problematically.

It's a really problematic bow. And as you leave, you activate some sort of music bottle chime that plays a very offensive sting on the way up. And you're still in the mall. You're on your way to Big Boy's Donuts. I do want to buy some knives. Like some weapons. I haven't had any weapons really on me for a while. That's true. Billy's been weaponless for a good while. I don't have coins, so I might have to steal them. Or trade. Do you have anything to trade, Billy? I only have the toy sword.

There's absolutely like a house of knives kind of place. Which is called the Palace of Blades. I was gonna say World of Blades. World of Blades. The World of Blades. I like that game that we play. Yeah. There's World of Blades and there's the Palace of Blades right next to it. Oh, they're feuding knife stores. There is a knife fight every day out front. Okay, so you guys are walking down a hallway and you see two shopkeepers standing across from each other in like a Akira Kurosawa style.

Like, one has a long sword out in both hands. And you see two shopkeepers standing across from each other in like a Akira Kurosawa style. And the other's got a small sword next to them and there's a vent nearby that's broken and is blowing a bunch of shit across the ground. It's an air conditioner and it's like really cold so there's like snowflakes also blowing. Oh yeah, cherry blossoms slowly falling from the tree. There's a single cherry tree growing in the middle of the wall.

They planted it years ago. By the cherry pits. Oh yeah. And you hear one of them call out, this is the last time you will infringe upon my honor, dog. And then his mouth keeps moving. Bad translation. The palace of blades cannot stand against the world of blades. For we are the superior blades. And you hear ha ha ha, unlikely cur. And then one of the guys just barely like cracks the sword out of the hilt and goes back in.

And then you see a sign behind him that says 50% off and it falls in half and says 60% off. He slashed their braces. There's a crowd watching. And then somebody in the other guy goes prices are slashed. That's so stupid. My prices have never been lower. The crowd starts clapping. And then Tuck's holding a giant cotton candy that he got. And he's like, yeah! Billy, if they keep this up, you'll get free knives. I know. I'm kind of hoping they will. Hey, do it again. Do it again!

Your prices may be 60%. 60% off, but your limbs shall be all the way off. And he goes, ha! And starts running towards the guy. And these guys are going to fight unless anybody steps in. It looks like this happens a lot. The store looks like unattended, so I'm going to go into whichever one. The shopkeepers in the neighboring stores are just putting on goggles and putting splash zone equipment on. This happens all the time. Yeah, it looks like these guys are super scarred up. They're both.

They're white every day. 2D6 plus dexterity to sneak in. 10. Holy shit. So you hear like, clink, clink, clink, clink. Swoosh, clink. And you just start walking into one of the stores. There's like a little boy just waddling. It's a total anime scene, and then you just see like an Adventure Time character waddle through it. And you are in the store. Wow. So much selection in here. As you like cross the threshold of World of Blades, a spray of blood hits the ground behind you. Sick.

And you hear, uh, uh, uh, uh. And you have before you a world of blades. My gosh. Long blades, short blades, blades for cooking, blades for fun. That's what all the signs say. I go to the blades for fun. Oh, the blades for fun. Okay. So they're still real blades, but they're just like fun. Yeah, they're like. Ow. The ones that I really like, the handle has like goo inside with sparkles. It's a gel pen. No, it's like got sparkles. So like when you flip it around, it like all the glitter.

It's like a lava lamp handle. Yeah. Fun. So fun. Yeah. So there's one of those. I take a couple of those. Yeah. It's got a little, it's got a little sheath and the sheath has like, um, seahorses on it. Fun. There's another. There's another. There's another. Fun. Oh my God. So fun. How many can I have? Okay. So I think that you, you were, you were able to roll in. So I get one? With this, but if you want more, you can push your luck and, and steal some more. Okay. Oh wow. No. Jess, that's bad.

I dug too deep, too greedily. So what's the blade that you're reaching for? So I got a four. The blade I'm reaching for is higher on the shelf and they're plushy blades. So the handle and the sheath are like fuzzy. So you take the head off and there's a knife underneath or something? Yeah. Like it's like leopard print. Oh cute. I get really excited. Yeah. There's one that's like a unicorn horn is the handle. Whoa. And like soft silvery fur on the sheath. So cool. I grab one of those. Yeah.

And as you're like reaching out to it, a full grown man comes crashing into the display and he like. Blood face. Covered in blood. His face is covered in blood. He like hits the display. It gets knocked over and smashed and he does like a back roll back onto his feet. Whoa. And he's got his sword in his hand and he spits a bunch of blood on the ground and he goes, is that the best you've got fool?

And you turn and you see the guy walking in the larger guy who's got like a beard and like a big belly and two swords. Half of a beard like his beard's now 50% off. He goes, you haven't even seen my my forbidden technique. And you are in between these two guys and they both stop and they look at you. Just like freeze like they might not see me if I don't move. And you hear the big guy go shoplifter. And they both turn and start chasing you. I want to run away. Yeah, great. 2d6 plus dexterity.

12. Yeah. You zip away but they are like pursuing you. I keep running away. I just run through. I'm like weaving through the shelves into the other store as well. Oh, yeah. Trying to lose them. Yeah, totally. Running through the crowd. Uh-huh. So they're going to keep chasing you until you unless you like leave leave or find some way to really get away from them. I would like to leave leave. Are you running back to tucking being or anything? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So you run to tucking being and tucking being you see two armed warriors running out of the stores to work. And I'm like fake crying like they're going to hurt me. He stole from them. I wasn't doing anything wrong. Oh my God. I told you not to teach him that word on hand. Our merchandise raps galleon. I took nothing. There's nothing on me. Don't touch me. You guys do a tech good. Uh, dude, you did steal one teachable moment. Yeah, this is a teachable moment.

I look at you like it's not a teachable moment. Yeah. I think you might try and stab of stab us. Yeah. Is this you have the jelly? You can see that you really like the jelly seahorse. Never seen one like it handle. I love the idea that you ask a kid. Is this a teachable moment? The kid goes no, no, I don't think so. I don't have anything. Yeah, I'm not going to learn anything from this. I'll tell you that you can try. I say like if you try to teach me something I'm going to do the opposite.

I'm going to forget something else. Yeah. Okay. So tech takes Billy and he like he puts him on his shoulder where he's safe and then he turns to the two guys and he does an anime pose and he goes get to a halt and hold their weapons. He realizes from his bouncer training that it's like you kind of have to speak the language of whoever like you kind of have to talk bro to like talk down a bro. You know what I mean? Yeah. And he's like these guys are so in the act. I have to like engage me.

With it. So he like strikes a pose and then like throws a rock at the cherry blossom tree. So the blossoms come down and then he lifts his axe high in the air and activates the amethyst crystal. Oh shit. And then he like moves his mouth in a weird way and then he goes you will not kill my son. All right. Two to six plus charisma. What honor does the samurai have who kills a small boy a small boy who is just stealing to protect his self. Roll two to six plus charisma. You are a dog.

If you do so I'll cut off your death. You worthless dildo. So that's why do we use any other die? Yeah. Snake. Oh great. So they stand there and they go so you have aligned yourself with the thief. Huh? Then you shall die with the thief. Ha! Roll with honor. Fink's just gonna fucking scream out of the corner. Punch one of them in the face. I got seven. Okay. So you get three chi? Two chi? I think two chi. Okay. Yeah. Do you want to spend one? Uh yes.

I will spend one to block a blow meant for somebody else. Oh so yeah. The big guy with the two blades is swinging the mittuck and screaming forbidden technique. And you are about to intercept the forbidden technique. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have the leather strap for my parents. Oh cool. So it's just around my wrist so I like as the thing's coming down he just kind of like swirls his wrist and it wraps around the hilt and yank the sword out of his thing. Oh sick. Roll a d6. One. Holy shit.

Yeah. So you just take zero? Take zero damage. Nice. He does the thing where he just steps aside and then the sword comes like back under his nose and he like sniffs away. Smells like Burger King. Yeah. Slap him in the face. Take a sword out of his hand. Oh so sick. What do you do? How are you doing that? I'm going to use my other chi to deal my damage to a foe within reach. Excellent. Roll your damage. Three. Yeah. This guy is not wearing armor and he's a shopkeeper. So what do you do to him?

I just kind of like poke him in the throat. Oh and then take a sword of his hands and I was like you shouldn't be playing with knives. So he stabs towards you using his forbidden technique. You step out of the way sniffing the blade as it's drawn back through past my face drawn back past your face and then you just poke him in the throat and he was ow man. Ow ow dude. Oh my God. Right in my throat. You're going to poke somebody's eye out with this thing. We're just messing around man.

Your kids stole from us. Look at this guy. He's covered in blood. You're not messing around. You're making a scene. Yeah you took the knife. I'll trade you this sword for that one that he took. Leave him alone. The other guy's like Leonard. Leonard it's okay. It's okay. You don't have to cry. You don't have to cry Leonard and he kind of takes the sword from you sheepishly and he's like shakes his head at you. I can't believe you did that.

He just walks away and these two you realize as the two guys walk away and the crowd kind of like mutters and disperses that you might have interrupted a marketing event. But Billy has got his knife. The danger has been diffused. You got a jelly knife. I do. That's cool. I'm playing with it. So fun. Did you get the unicorn one? No. No you didn't. It was too heavy. Too high. That's okay. That jelly knife is cool. It's so great. Like when you shake it the seahorses move around inside.

I know it's so cute. It's very cute. So cute. You've still got a little bit of time before the meeting. I imagine you want to stake the place out a little bit probably. Yeah. Is there anywhere else you want to go? Like does Tuck want to stop somewhere? Yeah. Tuck what? I just remembered shorten McWides or whatever. Oh yeah the bottle store. I don't have any music bottles anymore. You don't have an instrument. Oh wait do they still have my instrument?

Did they take your double headed loot or something didn't they? Yeah they were going to fix it. Oh wait but I had it in the Sea of Graves right? No I found a different loot in the Sea of Graves. Yeah why didn't you get your loot back from them? I think we just forgot to come back. Oh my god. Oh my god let's go get that. Tuck is like oh shit.

Yeah you walk past and you see Short and you're just like eyes half lidded walking through the mall like just mouth slack and you realize you never went back for your loot. Oh my god. Fucking holy shit. Several years ago. Five or six real life years ago. Yeah. You brought your broken double headed loot that you got from a traveling sales thing. Yeah. It's kind of like a tinker guy. Yeah. Well it was you got it from Vong. Oh right. I got it from Vong. From Vong all those years ago.

And you brought it to Short and McWides to repair it after it broke and you never came back for it. And I think I broke it by trying to play it with a knife. You did. Yeah. I remember. Yeah. I took one of Billy's daggers and I was like check out this sweet power cord. Snap. And then the guy that was working there was like I think he was like some emo kid. Yeah he did the poems. Writing poems. Yeah. Yeah. Who knows if he still works there. Well I'm doing the voice now so. Oh maybe he does.

Welcome to Short and McWides. I hope this was the voice I used all those years ago. Is he a disgruntled dad now? How many years ago was it? Two? Would have been two-ish. Oh my god. He's got two babies with him. Like in a Bjork. So many. He's got two babies on the front of him. Welcome to Short and McWides. What can I do for you? I dropped off an agitar as the lay people call it. Lame people. Lame people call it. But an axe and you know metal parlance here for repair. Ah yes I see.

A few years ago. A few years? A few years ago? What? And I'm just coming back to pick it up if it's done. You know we actually need a few more days. No he goes through he goes over to a big dusty tome. He blows all the dust off. It says two years ago on it. He flips the cover open. Blows more dust off the page. His baby sneezes. Both of the babies start sneezing. Blowing dust off each page with their little baby sneezes. What name? Tacoma Dome. Oh. Tacoma Dome. Yeah. I remember that name well.

It was a name that I saw in this book and I thought this guy's never coming back. I looked at that loot every day. Until. He's turned like looked at it. He's put it. He's looking out a window now. A window that's inside the mall. There's no windows. He's staring into a break room. Into a break room where someone's eating a burrito. An equivalent of looking at their phone. Whatever that is. Yeah. That double headed loot was so sick. It's the sickest instrument in the world. Sickest.

And I found myself falling deeply in love with that loot. I wished for it to be my own but I knew that I could not. It inspired me to write a poem. Several volumes of poetry. Many of which I destroyed in a fit of jealous rage. You were jealous of who is wait what were you jealous of? I was jealous of my own intentions towards that loot. Did you fuck my guitar dude? Of course not. I am a father now. I would never do such a thing. Wait what? But this loot to you I say is complete. Oh cool. Oh.

A little bit more there but okay. I'll be right back. And he goes into the back room leaving the front of the store completely unintended. I fill my backpack up with bottles. Oh my god. Click click click click click click click click Not at all subtle about it. Just like I shoved so many in until it's like you could tell there's a shitload of bottles in there. I just put it on my back. Do you want to roll anything to make this not noticeable? No. Okay. Dude you left. You made this happen.

Yeah you forced me to do it. You forced this on me. And he comes back with a case. A hard leather case. With two individual necks in the case. Yeah. And he clicks it open. Opens the lid. Spins it around. And there before you is your double headed base loot. Wow. Shiny and new while covered in dust. Absolutely. Covered in dust. Tuck blows dust off into the two babies faces. They start It's a pretty dusty story. You shouldn't have those little kids in here. It's pretty dangerous for them.

It's okay. It strengthens their lungs. They'll learn. Yeah. The two little babies have two little like wrist straps with like meds on them. Yeah. Medical alert. They both say asthmatic. Yeah. That's what I thought you were going to say. I was going to say they were two little metal kids. But yes, they also. He pulls out of holsters in his hips. These two little puppers shakes them spins them and then his babies. It's a cool dad. Yeah. And a bad dad. Yeah. Really bad dad. Most cool dads are bad.

Only bad dads. All right. That'll be repair costs plus guitar storage over two years. That'll be 150 coins. Oh sick. Oh gosh. Tucker closes the lid snaps it picks it up and goes I'm not going to pay you. He holds up his hand and goes wait it's too much money. I'm not going to pay it. Hold on. Wait. No hold on. Wait. This just shows him all the bottles and he's just stolen from his store. It's your backpack. He's like a teenager sneaking out of their house on the weekend with booze. Wait.

I'm not going to pay it. I don't think you can stop me. Thank you. Wait. Tuck stops and turns back looks over his shoulder at him pensively. Come on. I'm not going to pay it. Wait. Tuck pushes over a giant value bin of bottles as he leaves. It's just a fucking much music dance party starts in that room. Oh man. And you leave short and McWise. No consequences. Well no consequences from this guy that's for sure. I like that I didn't even try.

I made no rolls in that scene because Tuck made no choices. No. Other than to like just be like I'm going to do this. I'm leaving. What are you going to do about it? This is mine. And you just leave short and McWise. You have your double headed lute guitar back. I find these guys a rotato potato thing. Yeah there's a rotato booth. It's one giant rotato but then the guy sells smaller rotatos because he doesn't want to cut up the giant one because it's too cool. It is really cool. Thank you.

I've been working on growing this potato for many years. It grows in a spiral? All of my rotatos grow in a rotato form. Whoa. Huh. It is a technique that I myself have devised. Would you say it's forbidden? It is forbidden. Yeah that checks out. And verboten for you to know. And if you ask I will be forced to take violent action against you. God what's with these mall employees? The High Spear Mall is a tough place to live. People always want to steal your rotato secrets. Is it tougher?

Ever since Shathane disappeared? Oh my lord. He turns to a window. Ever since Shathane Wick disappeared the mall has fallen into chaos. The hot meat boys run rampant. Leaderless. Chaotic. Like wild animals. The cool treat kids run rampant. Leaderless. Like wild animals. The food court. Yeah. Run rampant. Okay. I see. It feels like this guy just has like a small kind of library of cool things. Leaderless. Like wild animals. We might head out now. The barbecue dad's still a thing.

The barbecue dad's. Yeah we're walking away. Run rampant. I have stolen the giant potato. He's caught in this loop. He's caught in this loop though. He can't stop. He's in his own. He's in his mind rotato. Yeah. His mind is the real rotato. It's an infinite Mobius potato. And now you've stolen from everyone that you've met in the mall so far. This mall is awesome. Yeah except for Vic. This mall is great. Yeah. You can steal from everybody. I could've just stole from those white women.

What are they gonna do? And they were the worst of all of them. Yeah totally. Yeah they had the most racist bow. Yeah. So far. So far. Don't limit me as a storyteller. And it's now it's about time you think probably for your meeting. Yeah. Now we're all armed up. We're armed up. I have my axe. I'm wearing it kind of cross. Oh yeah. TLC on one side and then the double headed loot on the other side. Cool. Yeah. You're like a four headed monster right now. Yeah. I like that.

And you go to Big Boy's Donuts. What's Big Boy's Donuts like? Is it a sit down restaurant? Yeah. Yeah. I'm like I'm gonna go to Big Boy's Donuts. I'm like I'm gonna go to Big Boy's Donuts. Yeah. It is a sit down donut restaurant. Sit down donut restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Welcome to Big Boy's Donuts. Oh wow. Yes. Almeid do you have a reservation? We're meeting a friend here. Do you have a name on the reservation? The Kestrel. The Kestrel. We all say it at the same time. The Kestrel.

The Kestrel. The Kestrel. The Kestrel. The Kestrel. I'm sorry you will have to speak up. The Kestrel. The Kestrel. Kestrel. Ah you have to be quiet about that name. Try to whisper it. Yeah but it's the levels. We're not talking about the levels. We're talking about the levels. That's not what I wanted them to be. I'm so sorry. He flips open his little book. Ah I see. This way. You're going to the VIP section. Nice. And he takes you in. He gives us all suit jackets. Yeah.

It's there is a bit of a dress code here at Big Boy's Donuts. And the leopard jackets. Leopard? Le-pe-ld. Le-pelled. Very, very, very good sir. He puts a jacket on you. He puts a same size jacket on Billy so it's massive. On him and then he drapes several coats across Tuck. One on each. One on each shoulder. Yeah. I put one arm through each. Immediately rip it. Yeah, wonderful. Yes. Okay, right this way.

He tweedles along the floor taking you through one of the finest establishments you've ever seen. Everything is like crystal wear. Crystal wear? Crystal plates, crystal tablecloths. Low lighting. Yeah. The lights are crystals. It's low. The candles are crystals. It's low. What does it smell like in here? Crystals. Fresh roses and donuts. Yeah. There's a vase of donuts that comes out. Oh, yeah. Several waiters bringing in the vases of donuts. Yeah.

Giant music bottle with a woman laying down on top of it and playing like soft jazz. Loving you is easy cause you're beautiful. Sounds like shit. There's a waiter who walks around with a giant sugar cube like powdering sugar on all the donuts. That's great. Tell me when to stop. Crack, crack, crack. There's a table with a chef in like a tall white toucan. He's slicing pieces off a giant donut for people. Nice. There's a flambéing happening at all different big flash of light from over here.

Everyone's in black tie. We stand out so much. And he takes you to the back to a spiral staircase, which takes you up to the second floor. And he takes you to the top of the stairs where there's like a hallway and then there's like doors off the hallway that have like, you know, gaps in the top and bottom like almost saloon style doors. And he takes you to one of those doors. Right this way, please. You through the doors squeak, squeak, squeak. They swing behind you. There's no one here. What?

The booth is currently empty. I want a trap expert. Very good. 2d6 plus dexterity? 11. 11. Great. Yes. Okay. So you get several hold to ask questions. I'm suspicious. Is there a trap here? There is a trap here. No! And it is activated by you walking into this booth. What does the trap do when activated? The trap alerts someone nearby that you have arrived. And what else is hidden here? What else is hidden here is you enter the booth and you stand around and you realize there's nobody here.

And then you hear behind you, well, well, well, if it isn't to you three. Etienne Boggins. Etienne Boggins. Tall, lean, kind of longish, fop-like hair, graying, fine suit, much finer than he wore in Mudlark. Nice hair. Is it new? It is. Thank you very much for asking, little boy. Please, enter. Take a seat, why don't you? You first. Very well. And he walks past you into the room and he sits. He's got like long tails like on his coat. Long tails. Yeah.

And he sits down on the edge of the, you know, it's like a long table in the room and the booth kind of goes around the edges of the room so he sits and he starts scooting down one long bench. Okay. Into the middle section of the table. Makes like a squeaking noise at one point. That was the booth. Hey. And he keeps scooting. Yeah. Down to the end of the table. And we, I guess, I guess we'll shuffle in there too. Yeah, get in there. Been a while at Tian Bargains. It has been quite a while.

Seems like time has been kind to you. It has. Thank you very much. It seems like it has been unkind to you three. Whoa. What a burn. What's that supposed to mean? We've just been working really hard. I've been in the sun a lot. I've heard much of your escapades. What have you heard? Just that you, like, tend to make a mess of whatever it is you get your fingers into. Well, sounds like what, it's the same thing that you do. Savior of Mudlark, eh? Are you the Kestrel?

I'll be the one to ask questions here. Alright. And the first question I have for you is what the fuck are you guys doing here? And he reaches up and he pulls his hair down revealing two elf ears. Who is this? And he pulls a cap off a gold tooth. Dan. Dan! Dan! You fucker. What the fuck are you guys doing here? What the fuck are you doing here? What the fuck are you guys doing here? What the fuck are you doing here? What does it look like? I'm undercover. I'm running for mayor.

Wait, were you always Etienne Boggins? No! Okay. I'm just using the Mudlark thing. I mean, we've got Boggins somewhere. What did you do to Boggins? He's fine. He's fine. Where is he? He's fine. Where? What do you mean by fine? This is so loose. That's such a loose answer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's fine. That's all you need to know. I want to know. Who's we? Who are you working with? What are you rolling? I don't know. I want him to answer my questions. I mean, you can keep asking him questions.

This is a person you know. You can ask and we can see how the conversation goes. I pull out my knife. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Billy. Answer my questions right now. Okay. All right. You flash the seahorse at him. Yeah. You see these? The males give birth. I flip it upside down like, look at that glitter fall. That'll be like your reputation. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. What do you want to know? Where's Etienne Boggins?

Yeah, we have him held. Who's we? Who do you think? You and the Kestrel. I am the Kestrel. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. Where'd you come up with that name? I can't. I don't want to. It's just, I don't know. I thought it was a cool name. It's not important. By we, do you mean you and the Menders? Yes. I fucking knew it. Oh, did you know it? I knew it, Dad. Oh, did you know it? Actually, yes, I did because I tackled you in that restaurant in McCaw that one time. Yeah? Remember? Yeah.

When you gave me a concussion? Yeah, I remember. You do remember? Wasn't that bad a concussion then, I guess? I'll have to try harder next time. Guess I gotta finish the job. No, no, no, no, no. Come on, come on, come on. Tuck cracks his knuckles loudly. All right, just be chill, all right? Okay. Okay, more questions. What's your plan? Well, I'm going to become mayor of Highspear. And then live out the rest of your days as somebody else?

No, the Menders want to get access to the Princeps for some reason. The Princeps? Princeps of? Highspear. Highspear. Yeah. There's one Princep. Yeah, there's one. Yeah, Princeps is a, I think Princeps is the singular as well. That's, is it the singular? I think it's Princep. Oh, wait. I think it's Princep. Anyway. Look, I'm not here for my language skills, obviously. Yeah, they want to get access to the Princep. So I'm going to become mayor, and then we'll have a direct line to the Princep.

Okay. And then? What for? They didn't tell me that. I don't even, I don't even know most of the people in this, you guys are familiar with the Menders, right? You're familiar with how this works? Yeah, we know Maggie. We don't know all of them. Yeah, Maggie's not involved. Maggie's not involved in this? No. What? Different cell. Who's the leader of your cell? What the fuck does that mean? What do you know? I am on loan. I am a freelancer. I think he just heard the word mayor and said yes.

I think so. Yeah, maybe I want to be mayor. Is that so wrong? But it's, there's a war on. Yeah. Yeah. We were aware. Yeah, we were there. I think, I think the, okay. If I had to guess. We took down the Black Hammer, dude. Yeah. No. Yeah? Yeah. Billy, show them your scar. I, I rip open my shirt. Whoa! It's, it's not healing. Did you peel off your bandage? It's not healing. He pulls his bandages off. Look at that. Oh no! It's so scary! No, just show them the bandages. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I am sorry. That was my fault. 100% my fault. I use all my poultices. We spend five, the next five minutes patching him back up. You have to sit on him to patch him up. No, I just, I stick a bunch of napkins on. No, Billy. That's not good enough. Dude freaks out when he sees it. Yeah. Yeah, this is what happens when you fight a real war. Okay, alright, okay. That's really gross. That's super gross. I don't like to look at that. It's really gross. Yeah.

And this could happen to you if you don't tell us stuff. I'm telling you everything I know. Okay. Alright. I think, I think the menders are suspicious of the High Spear Princep for some reason. They want to make sure that the war is going the way they need it to go. Do they think that he is a wizard? Or involved with wizardry? I don't know. Maybe. It is kind of their domain. Are, are the menders still looking for wizards? Like if there happened to be wizards, would they be in trouble?

What do you mean? Just, if there happened in the hypothetical. Hypothetical. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we came to town with like two wizards. What? Two plus wizards. Where is searching for wizards on their list of priorities? Yeah. Well, pretty high considering they consider them the most dangerous beings in existence. Well, good thing we didn't do that. Yeah. He narrows his eyes. We all narrow our eyes. Alright. Okay. Yeah. So what are you guys doing in town?

We have our friends the wizards. Uh huh. And they need to do something with the tower. Well, because we're suspicious too that the tower might be in danger. Yeah. The tower, the High Spear? Yeah, dude. That's the point of the fucking war. What's the, why would, what's the problem if the High Spear gets destroyed? Oh, maybe Dan doesn't have all the goddamn answers. For once. Alright.

I can't help but notice that you guys up until this second thought I was Etienne Boggins, so maybe I have the upper hand. Yeah, we didn't look hard at his face. We didn't look that hard at it. He might have aged badly. I don't know what his life is like. Whoa. Whoa. We didn't look at his face to try and remember it. Or yours, apparently. I'm a master of disguise, thank you very much. Okay, but any, so you guys are here with wizards to go to a tower. Hypothetically, yeah. Hypothetically.

Hypothetically. We might be going to the tower because the reason why the war is happening is so that the principles of the Firefields Principality can get in here and destroy the High Spear, which will disrupt communication across the globe. What do you mean? I mean, the High Spear's the only reason why everyone around the world can talk to each other without knowing each other's languages. Haven't you ever thought about that? Pasha, I say. I say pasha to that in the common tongue.

If you guys are gonna lie to me, please come up with a better lie. Okay. Okay, well what about this? Now that we know what each other's up to, why don't we just like do a little truce? Let everyone do, go about their business. Yeah. And we leave each other alone. Yeah. Truce, huh? Yeah, like you and your guys don't mess with us and we won't mess with you. Yeah, if you can keep the Menders off our back, we won't fuck with your election campaign. Someone roll a Charisma.

Okay, I have a plus three to Charisma. Yeah. Yep. Here we go. I've been blessed. Here we go. That's eleven. Okay. Nice. Yes. He kinda like drums his fingers on the table. So you'll just leave me alone. Yeah, and if anything happens to us or our friends, I'll slit your throat. Whoa, okay. That's a follow up. Yeah. That's a addendum to the agreement that I wasn't expecting but should have. It's only fair, but otherwise, we'll be cool. Yeah. Alright.

The shit that we have to do here is like super important to the war and it's super important to the world. If you disrupt us, if you let the Menders get in our way, then there's big implications. Alright. Okay, fine. So you stay out of my way, I stay out of yours. Exactly. Alright, fine. And he holds out his hand to all three of you, I guess. All three of us shaking. We do that three-way handshake. I wanna do an oath. Oh, shit. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Oh, with your last fairy hold. Yeah.

Yeah, cause I don't trust Dan, of course. That's probably smart. So smart. So, what is the oath? What happens to the person? I'll slit their throat. So to be clear, the agreement here is that if Dan breaks this agreement, his throat will get slit. Whoa. Whoa, just like magically, he'll just be dead. Or someone will do it. It will befall him. Yeah. Don't worry, Dan. I'm sure you have enough enemies out there. Is this the thing that Dan knows to be magically potent? I tell him. Yeah.

And he probably believes you. Shake his hand. It's a pinky promise. He looks really hesitant to do it. I don't know. Otherwise, I'll do it right now. I'd like to see you try. He's getting cagey now. Yeah. Okay, I wanna move really fast and get the knife up into his throat. Whoa. Uh-huh. 2d6 plus, uh, dexterity, I guess. Eleven. Okay, so I think it is actually like, he looks like he's going for something in his coat.

And as his hand is like, just breaching the barrier between coat and vest, your knife is at his throat. What are you getting? And he very, he holds up his other hand, very slowly reaches inside, and pulls out a knife. Drop it? Drops it on the table. I'll take that. It's a unicorn blade. It's a unicorn handled blade. And he's kinda, he kinda holds his hands out and is like, can't blame a guy for trying. To pull a knife on us, Dan? I mean, we're not exactly friends.

You're our oldest character, okay? You're the character that's existed the longest in this show. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. You're right. I hold a very special place in the GM's heart. Alright, fine. And he reaches out, and he pinky swears Billy. And he feels like that binding oath like, wrap around his finger and down his arm and into, around his neck. Oh, cool. Oh, so he feels like a tightness around his neck. Yeah. As long as the oath is active.

I, I gotta be honest with you guys, I was gonna sell you out. Oh, you fucking piece of shit! I really was, but fuck! Oh, this could have been so sweet. I could have sold you guys out. You piece of shit! I would have been mayor for sure. Now I gotta run on my own platform? What is your platform? I don't know. Somebody else wrote it. Taxes, something, blah blah blah. That's all people care about is taxes and sanitation and fucking education. Blah. Those are normal things. Yeah, that seems fine.

Boring. It seems like the Menders are setting you up to be an actually good mayor. No, I hate it. Anyway, alright. And he takes the little, like, fake tooth cap that he has and he slides it back over his gold tooth, puts the wig back on, flattens it out. So, I'm gonna go now. Hold on, not so fast. I have two things. One, we're gonna need a big boy's order of 50 donuts. Okay. Cause we made a promise to a guy. Alright. Two, we don't have any money. Okay. That means you're gonna have to pay for it.

God damn it. Menders have deep pockets, my friend. Yeah, they give me a per diem. This is gonna take like three days of my per diem. It doesn't fucking matter. At least you have three days. And then Vink runs his knife over his thumb over his throat. He runs his knife over his throat. Holy shit, no! He pulls Etienne's own blade across his neck. What have I done? Holy shit. He throws a poultice on there, which is waste to use. That was potent.

Alright, and yeah, he rings a little, he pulls a little cord on the wall of the private booth. Someone arrives, we'll have one order of big, a big boy's 50 donut whatever the fuck. And he gives him a bunch of coins. The guy comes back with the donuts. It's a huge bucket. Cause these aren't 50 mini donuts. These are full-size donuts. And everything else was served in like crystal vases, and this is just a plastic bucket. Yeah, a plastic bucket. A full-on plastic bucket.

A five-gallon pail full of donuts. It looks like Big Boy's Donuts might have at one time been more like a Dunkin' Donuts kind of place, but it's now under new management. And they tried to upscale it. But some of the remnants still survive. They couldn't find a crystal chalice big enough to hold 50 donuts. No one could carry it once it was full. And like three times a day, some blue-collar guy comes in and it's like, I'll get a large black coffee, please. They're like, sir, you gotta go.

You gotta go. That's why they have the jackets. Yeah. Just a bunch of construction workers shoving themselves into jackets over their work gear to get coffee. I miss the way this place used to be. But I did have another question. Uh-huh? Before you get out of here, Dan. Uh-huh? There's one last thing I wanna know. Who poisoned your meat? You really wanna know, huh? No, that's not the question I wanted to ask. So you really wanna know? I mean, now that you bring it up, I kinda wanna know.

After all these years, huh? Yeah. You really wanna know? Spill the beans! Come on. It was Etienne Boggins. What? Why? Because he wanted me out of town. Why? Maggie wanted me out of town. Oh. Yeah. Because she knew that you were a spy? She thought it was a little… Well, I wasn't at the time. Uh-oh. You weren't at the time? She thought it was a little convenient that I showed up at the time that I did. And maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Because you were in military intelligence, right?

Intelligence? He… You can see, like, his… He gives away something in the fact that he gives away absolutely nothing in that moment. What do you mean? Like, you served… Like, we met Walter Wick. What do you mean? Like, we met Walter Wick, we know Dathaniel, like, we know the way that those guys operated. We kind of know that you served in the army, because you told us that one time impudently. Did tell you that when I had a concussion, didn't I? When you had that concussion.

I did let that slip. So, we've kind of guessed that you served either within Dathaniel's talent or somewhere in the ranger army. And then Ving does a move that he knows from the training. Because, you know, he's part of the… Growing up in it. And he does, like, a… He throws a knife at Dan's face. Yeah, sort of. He throws his own knife at the side of his… You know, like, it deflects it off the wall, bounces off the wall, and it's coming for the side of his face.

And as the knife is, like, coming for the side of Dan's face, his hand shoots up and he grabs it. Whoa. By the handle. And he flips it on its blade and hands it back to you. That's yours. Oh. I'll take it. No, I missed that. It's mine. They don't have any more of these in Blades Palettes or whatever. Well, you guys magically bound me to a thing or I'd get my throat cut. So I can trust you to keep this secret, right? We've been traveling long enough. I was a Kestrel. What's that?

Oh, you guys don't know. Oh. A high-ranking general. Uh, no. Um, I guess the closest example that you would have in regular principalities military is Special Forces. Oh. Where, uh, individuals outside the regular rank structure trained in, uh, espionage, infiltration, you know, the usual kind of sneaky, sneaky stuff. Oh. And, uh, once I decided that I wanted to head out, I felt like my training made it a sort of natural fit for me to get up to the sorts of shenanigans I get up to.

Did you know Dathaniel and Walter? I did, yeah. Okay. Well, uh, Walter trained me. Hmm. He trained Dathaniel, too. He did. Did you ever meet me? You were very young. Ugh. I've always been their thing. Why are you so mean to us? Well, cause you guys are mean to me. What? No. Shut your stupid, ugly mouth. Yeah, you guys are super mean to me. All the time. Remember you made me, you bullied me into leaving my schloss meat behind? Oh. No, we were not.

That was the first thing that anybody listening to this show heard happen to us and me. No, that schloss meat sucked. We all remember. I was selling that. I had to sell that to make my living at that time. We were stating a preference of ours over his… Hmm. Yeah, you're bullies. You bullied me. You did bully him. Okay, fine. We're sorry. We're sorry. That is true and you are right and we apologize. And we're not just saying it. Are you guys really sorry? Yeah, I'm sorry.

Yeah, I actually feel bad about that. Yes. We were wrong. Ugh, wow. I've been, I've been holding that in my heart for years. That's why you've been an asshole to us? For the last two years? I mean, that and all the other times you guys were assholes to me. That's just what started it. I hope that this can be a gesture, a gesture towards our new relationship. Yeah. One where you don't end up with your throat cut. Yeah, I'm sorry. I really can't take it back, but if I could, I would.

It's an unbreakable oath. It is. It's okay. I'm not gonna betray you guys. Alright. And Tuck goes, as a gesture of goodwill, and he takes the guitar off of his back and he puts it in the case. He snaps it closed. He pushes it across. I want you to have this. Why? Then Tuck just shrugs. Takes it back. Okay. Then he kinda like awkwardly reaches out and takes this gigantic bass lute and like jams it into the booth next to him. That's yours now. Thanks, I guess.

I feel like it was probably important to me at one point. I can only assume so. I feel like I might have only had it for like five episodes, maybe. Cool. And now I've got it. Yeah, now you have it. Yeah, and I don't play an instrument. Yeah. Yet. Yet. Yeah. You're never too old to learn. You know what they say? The best time to plant a tree 20 years ago. The second best time to plant a tree is today. Right now. Alright. And you know what they say?

It's the best time to learn how to play an instrument. 20 years ago. The second best time to learn to play that instrument. Is 19 years ago. And then the third best time I think I get the idea. I think we should all leave. No, I wanna hear him out. I think we should all leave now. I think we should all leave. Wait, I did have one more question. Sorry. I did, I, this is. You got my secret thing out. You guys found out it was a kestrel. That's a huge thing. That's a huge thing.

To you, it clearly didn't do much to us. You know what happens if you literally tell anybody this and you're still in the great forest? No. They fucking kill you. What? How does Vingna know about this? Cause you were in a kestrel. Why don't you think? Cause we're secret. That's so secret. Yeah. Well we won't say anything. You better not cause it's gonna be bad for me. We're not gonna tell anybody. We promise you we're not gonna tell anybody. I have a lot, lot of enemies.

You guys think I have enemies as a criminal? You wouldn't believe the amount of enemies I have as a kestrel. Holy shit. Okay. That's why I left the forest. They hate me there. They hate my dad there. They threw my dad in a cage just for being my dad. Oh wait. Was that your dad up there? Was your dad a wood weaver? Yeah. Your dad is so cool. You guys met my dad? We love your dad. Yeah. He's awesome. My dad is great. How is he? He's doing good. He's doing pretty good. Is he still in a cage?

He's still in a cage. Cool. Really rocking the cage. It seems like he just comes and goes. Yeah. Yeah, that's my dad. He seems pretty happy in there. I think he's kinda chosen the cage as like a, almost as a shield. Yeah. To live his life however he wants. Oh man, that really, that really does the heart good. My plan was eventually to go back and get him. Oh yeah. Yeah. I don't know if he wants to leave though. He's, yeah, he's sort of got like kind of a Stockholm syndrome thing going. Cool.

Cool. We watched him jerk off once in a cage. Cool. Your dad is pretty cool. Your dad's pretty cool. Alright, well that's good. That's good he's doing good. Yeah. Seriously, if you tell anybody that I was a kestrel, I will die. Okay, we're not gonna tell anybody. Okay. Yeah. Have you heard of what's going on with Maggie? No. Okay. Was she with you? Oh right, yeah, you guys left and, yeah, I think I heard something. She's, I got a message through some channels, some back channels.

She's up north somewhere. She made it? I think so. Okay. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Uh, but you had a question? That was it. What, what's going on with Maggie? Yeah, she's up north somewhere. That's the last I heard. Okay, cool. I could try and get a message to her. Uh, yeah. Actually, yeah. What did we say? Just tell her we're here. Oh yeah, at the High Spear. Yep. Okay. We're staying at the Spearmint B&B. For now. She'll be okay with that? Yeah. We don't tell her about our wizard friends?

Oh, she, I think she chilled out. She knows Morrison Perreault. Yeah, she was with you in the tower. I forgot where we left off. She's accepted their role in what needs to happen. Yeah. Once she learned about like the Gibbous Man and stuff like that, she was like, okay, we've got bigger fish to fry. Yeah. And if these wizards want to help, then what am I gonna do? Yeah. Tell her that the box has, and I wink at him, and I go, has safely been delivered to the High Spear.

Is she gonna know what that means? Yeah. It might take a while for the, who knows how long it'll take to get this message to her. But I'll do it again. Okay. Alright. Thanks, Tan. Despite how it is actually to see you, it's nice to see you. Okay. He gets up and he smooths his bob wig on his head. Makes sure his ears are hidden under the hair. You look good. Thanks, thanks. He puts his- The oral. Hey. You know it, buddy. And, make sure I don't see you around these parts again, you rapscallions.

Oh, we promise you won't. You absolute scoundrels. Be sure to fuck off now. And he walks out the door and stomps away. Yeah. And leaves you alone. I take the donuts. Yeah, right. Yeah, you gotta take the donuts back to Thandie. Yeah. Uh, so you're leaving Big Boy's Donuts. Thank you for coming to Big Boy's Donuts. Please come again. Thank you for having us. Uh, please leave your jackets in the big bin outside the place. For jackets. So we do, yeah, we toss our jackets back there. Great.

And as you're leaving, you're walking back down towards the exit and, uh, you're stopped in the hallway by a number of mall security. They've got their- they've got swords, dulled like baton swords. They've got their little security shields. And they're like, Halt! You have committed a crime! Whoa. Within the realm of the Highspear Mall. What are you talking about? What crimes do you accuse us of? Shoplifting. The highest crime in the Highspear Mall. You have been ordered detained.

On order of Head of Mall Security, Tina Durger. What? And took us- what are we accused of shoplifting? One. Giant two-necked loot. One. Small seahorse knife. One. Bag of illicitly stolen music bottles. And then took us to the Highspear Mall. And we're like, Well, I don't see any two-necked loot. And then I clocked Dan walking out the front door. And I'm like, Oh, there's that guy with the loot! Get him! Look, he's got- it's so obvious he's got a two-necked loot with him! Roll 2d6 plus charisma.

This is perfect. Let's get him! Clankle, clankle, clankle, clankle. Oh, that's 11. And they turn and they see Dan with the loot. Walking and they go, Hey, stop! And they all turn and start chasing Dan. And you see Dan look at you guys like, What the fuck? And that's where we're- And that's where we're gonna end the episode. I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdulaziz. Still there. Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Hoppers.

Take care, everyone. Playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. Thank you to Erin Reid for her intro and outro music. If you want to listen to Erin's original music, which I highly recommend, check it out at erinreid.bandcamp.com. And if you want to listen to all of the music produced for the show, you can find us on Spotify. Uh, thank you to all of our supporters around the world. They support us, not just with their love, adoration, and listening powers.

They support us on Patreon, which you can do at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. What do they get when they support us? Oh, brother, let me fucking tell you. Postcards. Drawn and written by the team. Us. The crew. The up-to-date Mall Brats feed. Yeah. Dozens of episodes of Mall Brats, unreleased. Oh, you're gonna love it. Raw. Uncut. No, they're cut. They're very cut. Yes. Uh, it's actually cleaner that way.

Uh, and they also get access to things like games run by Abdul and myself at the higher levels. That's right. Gift boxes, merch, you're gonna love it. So check it out at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. I guessed it on a recent game that Sean ran where I played a Canadian action hero called Jesus Sinclair. You better believe he did and it was so much fun. And if that sounds cool to you, you can have that in your life.

Thank you finally and most of all to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore. Thanks for watching.