Episode 6 – The Library

Oh man. Okay. All right. I guess we're ready for Spout Lore. Yeah. That's spelt. Is everybody feeling good? Feeling good? Yeah. Feeling good. Uh huh. Feeling good. Yep. Oh, I need the, I need to get the theme. I'm going to chug some of this coffee. There's gotta be a better way to do this. We're seven seasons in. Then holding your phone up to it. But don't you edit the song into it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I edit the song into it, but there's gotta be a way to just pipe it into our headphones.

Without queuing it up for the most recent episode of the fucking podcast. And then having to pause before Sean starts talking. Yeah. And often you don't. Yeah. I'll get it this time. I believe you. So gather round friends. And listen close. For the tales about to start. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore. What the hell happened there? It went to like two times, two times speed. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara.

Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdulaziz. Hello. Paul, I can't do it. Playing Ving, the half elf droid, Paul Oppers. Good morning. Playing Fabula, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Good morning. When last we left our heroes, they had infiltrated the infamous and legendary Margani library through a disused entrance connected to a giant puddle of shit. Full of shit. Oh, right. In some places. Shit mine. Shit mine.

In Tuck's diary, this, he just, later on, he's like, he writes, I walked through shit mine today. Even though we discovered that the mine was used to, mine quartz and also a light amplifying stone known as a sunstone. They smashed through the wall of the mine into a, The forehead. Office. Of? A young librarian who was just trying to get her work done for the day.

Ving attempted to use his Ving Chi martial arts to stop the librarian from escaping before having those martial arts turned around back on him by this incredibly powerful librarian, which Billy then whipped a rock at. And knocked unconscious. And then you left this library office into the library proper, finding yourself in a sprawling and enormous complex containing millions of books, likely.

Ving spoke to the spirit of the Margani library, who told you that the books that will possibly help Perel solve the mystery of how he lost his magic are on the third level in thaumaturgical history and philosophy. After some shenanigans, you ended up in a cart. Billy was asleep in some bookshelves. The cart started to leave. Billy woke up, tried to escape, brought a little bookworm with him. And you found the bookworm on Billy's shoulder on the fifth level.

And Billy attempted to interrogate it, forgetting, of course, that he cannot speak to caterpillars. And then Ving actually spoke to the caterpillar, which told you all that it was his duty to tattletale. And it zipped into a little pipe. And then you got to the end of the story. And then you got to the end of the story. And then you got to the end of the story. And then you got to the end of the story. And disappeared.

And that is where we find ourselves now, in a doorway on the fifth level of the Margani Library. A little caterpillar has just disappeared. Smash the wall! Yeah, Tug's like, I'll get him. And he, like, starts digging into the fucking hole with his axe. No, it's load-bearing! That's a load-bearing worm tube. It's a lord-bearing worm tube? Oh, we're just going to jump on people for misspeaking now? Just you. Thank you. Okay, so, yeah, all right.

So you're just going to jump on people for misspeaking now? You're just going to smash through the wall? We're going to try and stop this fucking caterpillar from getting away and telling on us! This little snitchy bitchy. All right, let me… So now hold on a second. Let me just make sure that I've got this right. You don't want this caterpillar to tell people that you're here, giving away your location. Yeah. So you're going to… Yeah.

You're going to fastball swing through the pillar that it's in. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah, motherfucker. Uh-huh. All right. Defy danger strength. Yeah. But, like, no matter what, it's going to be loud. I'll tell you that much. Well, Tuck's going to… Like, he's not going to swing his axe at it. He's just going to take his axe and dig into the hole. We've established that when the axe is used to destroy stone, it's loud. I don't know. All right. No, we've established that.

He puts, like, a bag over it to try and make it a little quieter. We make, like, a bunch of white noise or something? Yeah. Let's go. Okay. Make some… Yeah. Oh. Wait. Wait. What is that? What is this? What is this? Season seven. Abdul wrote the wrong die. Why'd you roll a D10 and a D6? It looked like a D6. Like, you have… You had Herculean Appetites, which allows you to roll a D8 and a D10, and you never used that one. I'm making it up as I go.

You can roll them both again, because that was just a totally weird dice roll. That one's a six. Great. And my power is two. Strength is two. My power is two. Yeah. And I… So, I need… An aid. An aid. Well, we're aiding him. What? Oh, fuck. By going, shh. Uh, yeah. Yeah, to cover up the sounds. Okay. I will say that if one of the two of the spiritually slash magically powerful people can figure out a fun way to aid Tuck… In silency? Successfully… Yes. I will allow this to be quiet. Hmm.

Because this aid… This makes sense. If you're able to find a way to make it quiet, then I'll let it be quiet. I was just gonna say he makes, like, an air bubble. I can manipulate the air around it. Oh. Okay. Yeah, it's just to be like… Like, move the air around you. Yeah. It's like a big quiet fart. That's sick. Ving is so cool in this season. All the stuff he does is fucking cool. I think Tuck's cool, too. Yeah. Everyone's cool. Everyone's cool. Okay. I got eight. Plus Bond. Yeah, eight.

Oh, eight. Great. Yeah. Perfect. Okay. So, yeah. You are able to… You still swing it like a sledgehammer. And for all of you, it still goes boom. Boom. Boom. But because of Ving's bubble of silent air… Yeah. His anti-fart zone. Yeah. Which you've all had a lot of problems with in the last couple months because he keeps using it and you're just like, what? I didn't hear any… Oh. When you don't hear anything. Yeah. Now they're all silent but deadly. Great.

So, you're just digging into the wall to stop the… The worm from going away. Yeah. I mean, you succeeded. So… I dig it out. Yeah. You dig it out and you reveal like the little tube that it went in, the tiny little hole that was basically just the circumference of the worm. Mm-hmm. And then it breaks into a bunch of tiny little tubes. And the worm is there. Yeah. You dig it out and it falls onto the ground. I pick it up. And then I go into the main chamber of the library.

I grab a giant book and I put it inside of it and I tie it closed. And I'm like, who loves books now, bookworm? You might have just killed it. No. No. Bookworms live in books. They're called book… Perel's actually like, what are you doing? What did you do? I trapped it in this book. You crushed it in a book. No, I didn't. I just closed it with the worm inside. And then Tuck throws the book as far away as he can so no one can check. So you just whip it into the library? I just… Yeah.

I throw it as far as I can. So he throws it into the shelves and it hits the ground and goes, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat. Fuck, Tuck. Shh. What do you do? Discern realities? Yeah, we need to discern realities. Yeah, sure. Discern realities is great. Billy, you want to take this one? Sure. Five plus wisdom. Is six. All right. I'll help out. Okay. Yes. Yeah. 2D6 plus bond. How are you helping? Get on my shoulders, Bilbo. These are not… I love that it's always give Billy a better look. Yeah. Wow.

What a day. Fuck. Holy God in heaven. Bing rolled a four. So we both… We both failed. Yeah. We could not discern anything. Failed and failed. Damn it. What's the failure this time? Maybe when Bing picks me up, he picks me up by the collar and I drop out of my coat. And I land also with a boing. Loud? Yeah. Sounds like a basketball in an empty gymnasium. Yeah. I'm just imagining. Yeah. I mean, he makes that sound. Yeah. A bit like clap of his ass cheeks. Yeah. Yeah. Echoing clap. Exactly.

So what you see, Billy's looking through the shelves. Yeah. To where it tucked through the book and tucked through it really far because he's incredibly strong. So it's basically on the other side of the room. But you see a librarian, again, kind of young, but like in the… What do librarians wear? I forgot. Oh, isn't it like an over one shoulder? Yes. Kind of robe thing. It's kind of like what people wear in like pilgrimages to Mecca. Cool.

So yeah, there's a young librarian in the white skirt and wrap. Of the librarians. Who walks into frame basically down the aisle and bends down to pick up the book and just picks it up to look at it. They haven't seen you yet, but they're right there. Yeah. What do you do? Billy slides out of their view behind a shelf. Like SpongeBob SquarePants. Yeah. Yeah. Into a shelf. Yeah. Like Billy had landed on… Like he landed on his butt and then fell to the side.

And he literally just like stayed in that position. Just… Okay. Streaks his buns across the marble floor. Screech. Okay, so defy danger dexterity from Billy. What are Tuck, Ving, and Perel doing? Ving is going to jump up as high as he can in the air and try and get into a cart that's above their head. Okay. One of the shelves right up top. All right. So that'll be a defy danger dexterity as well. Billy first. Oh. Sick. I got… 11. Billy breaks physics as he SpongeBob SquarePants out of frame.

Yeah. Okay, Ving, so that's a defy danger dexterity as well. I use the dexterity of my legs. Ha ha! Great. Okay. Eight. Eight, okay. We're all so relieved when Ving passes the thing right now. I can feel the tension. You've had like unreal bad luck lately. I know. Yeah. I'm going to work it in narratively. I have a good idea. We should burn some rosemary in this room. Just get out the bad luck. Smudge. Oh, I have some right here. That's perfect. It's already on fire. Is that what that smell is?

Is that what that burning sensation is? Yeah. Okay. So I think the seven to nine on that is that there isn't like a conveniently placed cart nearby, but you basically like diagonal jump and you're like kind of spider monkeyed on a bookshelf. Spider monkey. Yeah. So you're not as mobile as you would be if you had a cart, but you're out of sight. Perfect. Tuck. Tuck kind of takes his axe and he puts it in a bookshelf to hide it. And then he takes his glasses out of his bag. Backpack.

And then pretends to be a nerd to defy danger charisma. No. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. So I, my mind is cast back a couple years to season one disguises only work. If it's likely that you would be there in the first place, you can't just put on glasses and be like, Hey, I'm, I've worked with you forever. I'm an enormous person. That's not even wearing the right outfit. Yeah. I'm new and I'm huge. They didn't have a robe big enough. All right. Roll 2d6 plus charisma. Well, look at that.

Hold on. Wait. So five, five, seven. Sick. You just joined the ranks of nerd. So boy, oh boy. So the librarian turns and sees tuck with upside down glasses on. He actually, I mean, he actually has to wear glasses. So I guess it's an, Oh wait, does he accidentally accidentally put them on upside down? No, no, no. They're regular. What do they look like? Are they like the hook kind? Are they, are they like Paul's glasses? Like super nerdy? Uh, yeah.

Basically like Paul's round metal flame flames flames flames on the side. He drew flames on the side to be like, God, this has got to make me look cooler than just fucking glasses. It's such a nerd. Yeah. Flames on them for coolness. And then Bing and I were like, yeah, you look super cool. We both give a thumbs up. And so the librarian starts to walk over to you like, Hey, Hey. And like starts hustling up. I'm like, Hey, what's up? Hey, who are you? Oh man. Who, who are any of us?

You know what I mean? He's just taking books from like here and putting them there and there and putting them in, just shuffling books. Just moving books or making a pile in his own arms. That's one of the greatest questions I've ever heard. Okay. But like, who are you and why are you here? Why are we, why? Who knows why any of us are here? Okay. No, I see. I see. I see. I see what I did there. I see what I did there. And, but I just, I can't help but notice that you're not wearing the robes.

I know I'm new. I'm just too big for the robes that you guys had. So they didn't have anything big enough. Okay. Okay. It's also funny to think that there's not enough. They're just sheets. Yeah. There's lengths of cloth. Yeah. And he looks behind you and he sees the dugout chunk in the bookworm tubes. What happened here? And I look, I'm like, Oh fuck. Someone's going to get it. And he looks sharply at you because like you're yelling and you're swearing. And he's just like, what is happening?

I adjust my glasses to extol to him the fact that I am a nerd too. So keep in mind, you didn't get a full success. He, he's extremely suspicious. Okay. And I'm like, fine. Come here. I'm going to, I'm going to tell you what I'm actually doing here. I'm as close to you as I'd like to be. I come in. I have to whisper. I'm as close. It's a library. Fuck. I'm as close to you. It's a fucking library. I'm going to go get somebody. No, no, no.

And he turns around and he sees Perel standing in his regular clothes. Just looking at a book like, Oh, hello. And he just looked, he's wide eyed, staring at the book, the stairs at the, at the librarian and then stairs at tuck, like panicking. He, he has in the time that I was talking to the librarian fashioned a fake mustache out of his own cube hair. No, he did not. He's rolling it like a cigar. This is gotta work. Licking the edges of it to make it firmer. Putting it on.

No, he just moved one of the, the, the one eyebrow that stayed onto his lip. It's got so much sand in it. And shit. And filthy. You're all fucking filth. You're all filthy. Oh man. Whoops. Yeah. You're all disgusting. I completely forgot about that. Well, so did this kid. What does he do? I wanted to drop from the ceiling and just like try and land on him. Silence. Okay. Yeah. A sleep hole. Just like land in a sleep hole. Okay, cool. What would that, cause this seems like it would be an attack.

I could use my, um, a fight with honor. Cause I want to, you know, take him down quietly and honorably. Yeah. I would like to honorably sneak attack this guy. This poor librarian. He's an internship. He's basically an intern. Okay. Yeah. I guess so. Fight with honor. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So a roll plus constitution. Yes. All right. Nine. All right. So you get two chi, I think. Yeah. Can you remind me what chi is? Is it like a hold? Basically? It's a hold. They're holds.

It's hold that you can spend on, uh, a lot of very fight specific stuff. Okay. So what do you, what do you do? I'm just hanging from the shelf. Uh huh. And I, I fall down on his, on his shoulders first and put my hands over his mouth. And then just go, shh, as I slowly walk down off his shoulders and into a sleeper. Shh. It's okay. It's okay. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. It'll be fine. What animal style is this? Uh, sleepy sloth. I was thinking sloth. I was thinking sloth before too.

Cause he was holding, he was holding onto the shelf with just two fingers. And then he slowly descended. And just like, wrapped himself around. First like leg and toes around his mouth first. And then down on his shoulders. Uh, okay. So that's going to be a chi spent to deal your damage. Yeah. We've crossed the distance between yourself and a foe bypassing all obstacles and deal your damage to a foe within reach. Cool. So I'll, yeah, spend them both to. Cool. Take them down quietly. Okay.

Spend them and roll your damage die. Okay. Four. Four. Four. Plenty. Great. Plenty for this little dweeb. Dweeb sleep, sweet, sweet dweeb dreams, sleep, Prince, Prince dweeb. And as he's falling asleep, tuck leans in and goes, it was all a dream. It was all a dream. Oh, this was a dream. And he, you see his eyes open and consider for a moment, whether or not this was all a dream before he passes out. Vink swaddles him up like a little baby in his own robes. Nice and tight.

So he can't, even if he does wake up, he won't be able to move around. And then, Tuck picks him up and shakes him out of the robes, like emptying a bag and then gives the robes to Perel. Cause he's the worst at sneaking. Yeah. Great idea. And he steeples his hands in front of his face, a disguise. Holy shit. And he strips out of his own clothes, wraps the robes around him. For a second, we all scream. And Perel shoves his clothes in a shelf behind a book. Does he keep the fanny pack?

It's underneath the wrap. The skirt wrap. A little punch. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, now I think, I think we're ready to go. We're ready to forge on. Okay. How, we don't know where to go. Can Billy discern realities from where he was? Yeah, sure. Discern realities is great. Oh, hell yeah. What was that? The shit of those realities. Wisdom? Yeah. Oh, it's 12. Yeah. So three questions from the list. What should I be on the lookout for? Okay.

So, I mean, obviously the thing we're all on the lookout for, is a way up to the next level. You look across and you see like how the exits were oriented on the level below you. You look across and you don't see a door. So you're like, okay, well, it's not that way. So the way up to the level is probably to the right or left. Okay. And you peek ahead and you don't see one to the right. So you're like, okay, we got to go left. I go left. Okay. And then what here is useful or valuable to me?

It seems like the way that the librarians wear their robes is they try not to carry too much stuff, but when they do, they form little like tie pouches. Out of the robe that they're wearing. Cool. So the librarian, after being shaken out of his robes, you see a bunch of like keys on a ring. Oh, clatter out onto the ground. Billy grabs that. Yeah. Nice. And what here is not what it appears to be. Yeah. So you notice a draft from the wall basically behind you. Yeah. Like that. What?

Ooh, what, what draft could this be? So I go looking, sniffing. And you find just the most imperceptible crack on the floor where the wall meets the ground. And you scrub all back over to the bookshelf and you go, oh, please, please, please, please. And you start tugging on books. And then you find a book that is labeled secret passages and how to find them. And you pull on it and you hear a click, click, click, click, click.

And then a section of the wall moves in a little bit and slides to the side. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, this way, this way, this way. Yeah. We run over. Yeah. It's a sick, it's big enough for Billy because he is the size of a football big enough for Perel because he can duck down. Ving is very tall. Ving is like almost seven feet, right? I always forget about that. It's going to be pretty hard for tuck to get in there. But it is a very small little, it looks almost like a service corridor.

It's actually, it's, it's metal rungs set into a shaft. Oh, like a ladder. Yeah. I bet this goes straight all the way up and down. Maybe we can get up to level three street or some of us can. Oh yeah. Maybe we have to leave Perel behind cause he's too weak. Why me? Why me? I can climb a ladder. Are you sure though? It's basically walking. It's the way you climb a ladder. What tuck, tuck might not even fit in here. Look at this. Do I have to roll to see if I fit? Uh, yeah.

Nobody else is going to have to except for tuck. Okay. I'm going to say defy danger strength to like force yourself. Dexterity. Dexterity. Yeah. Dexterity. It makes most sense. All right. Trying to give you a hand there, but dexterity it is. Wait, maybe constant. Oh, dexterity. You're trying to manipulate your body in a way that you can get all your joints where they need to be. Cause like if, if Ving and Billy practice yoga and tuck's like, fuck that shit. Yeah.

We cut back to yesterday morning where Ving is leading Billy through some stretching exercises. Yeah. They're like, Hey tuck, you want to join us? He's like, no, I've never needed to be flexible and I'll never need to be flexible. Yeah. Tuck was just like, why would I want to join you? I'm not a lady on her period. Talk. Yes. Some troubling opinions about certain things. Yeah. So it's dexterity for sure. No, but it's cause he's dumb.

Cause he saw a yoga place that had a quote out front about like a woman's greatest power is her and her moon cycle, which is, he's like, that's awesome. There's a sport that's just for women. He walked by a Lamaze class too. It was like, everybody's like, Oh, yoga. Yeah. Cool. He thinks, Pilates, Lamaze, yoga and spin are all the same sport. They're all the same thing. They're all for women. And it's only for when they're on their period.

And he thinks it's a good thing that there's a safe space to worship the moon. He thinks we're doing something inappropriate and offensive. You guys are appropriating. Yeah. Yeah. Female culture. You guys should stop. And then he scoops his hand into cashes, protein powder. And just puts a handful into making his beard like gray all the way down. So Billy Ving and Perel, no problem. Sized for you. Tuck. You're going to have to do some wiggling. Tuck in. Jeez. Dexterity. Oh, yeah.

Well, that makes sense. All right. Yeah. I guess he's not flexible. And also he is in a book phase, right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, Tuck. Okay. Okay. No. And Perel is in there. Like he's like, he's above all of you. Okay. Hey, Tuck. The, I think that the door to the stairs is on the left over there. Okay. I'll, I'll go up those stairs. I'll meet you guys. Yeah. Up on the third level. Yeah. On the third. On the third. So, so Tuck's going to go by himself.

I mean, I have the disguise and I point at my glasses. I'm sure you, you all understand how bad an idea this is. Yeah. I don't know if that's the best idea. Okay. Fine. I look up at Perel. I'm like, Oh, gross. Why do you keep your underwear on? It's for, for accuracy. No. What if they check my underwear? Yeah, but you kept your fanny pack on. It looks so stupid. It's a hip satchel, but thank you. Whatever. Anyway, uh, Perel, I think you're gonna have to go on your own.

We'll meet you up there, but we're going to go with Tuck. That, I think that makes the most sense. If I'm caught on my own, I think I could talk my way through it. But if Tuck is caught by himself, he'll just smash through the side of the library. And we can't afford that. No. Okay. So I'll see you up at the third level. Okay. If one of us can't fit, none of us can fit. Yeah. We're a team. We all have the limitations of the weakest link. Yeah. And right now, I'm the fattest link.

And I'm the shortest link. And I'm the lankiest link. You don't have to sell me on this anymore. I'm fine with this. You gotta go on your own, man. Okay, bye. Leave us behind. He's climbing. It's okay to leave us behind. He's climbing away. And we're all whispering up the tunnel. Just be brave. Be careful. Don't let them see you. But if they do, just don't embarrass us. Remember, we're with you in spirit. He's not even looking. You don't need that mustache. He's absolutely gone.

You're perfect without your mustache. That fanny pack looks dumb. Close the door. Okay. He whispers down to you. Close that door. Fine. Okay. Closing the door. All right, I guess we gotta get out of here. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Should we all steal a book just to remember this place? Yeah. And go get your axe. Oh, right. Don't forget your axe. Tuck runs back. What section do we think you're in right now? Martial arts section. I'll take a book. So the one underneath was art history and something.

Art theory and history. Maybe baking? I mean, it could be like culinary studies. Nutrition and culinary. Yeah. Yeah. Nutrition and culinary studies. And this whole section is like food-based. So it's like agriculture, like, yeah, farming techniques. Foraging. Food, cuisine from around the world. Like all that kind of foraging. Tinctures, herbalism. Tinctures, herbalism. Nothing overtly magical, but a lot of like health and food related stuff here. I just see a nice red tiny book and I grab that.

Yeah. Snatch, throw it in your bag. Ving, what does it say? It says, the food for creatures who don't need to eat. Oh my God. Oh my God. Put that in my pants pocket. Okay. Ving takes a big leathery bound volume. It's like a field guide. Waterproof. Tuck, what's it say? All right. And Tuck like squints at it. And he's reading, because it's Macaulay. He's reading Macaulay. Yeah. And Ving was poorly translating Macaulay. Okay. Yeah. He looks at it and it says, food for thought. Great. Thanks. Yeah.

Write down these books. You're taking it. You want to keep talking about him. Okay. I assume Tuck's not taking a book. No. Tuck takes a book. Oh, I guess this is a, I mean, he can probably easily read common, but more easily read Macaulay. I was in the principalities for years. I can read. Okay. I'm willing to believe that. He pulls one off and he's like, I'm going to grab this one. And he shows it to Ving. And it's a picture of a mushroom on front. That looks like a dick.

And he's like, it's pretty funny. Hey, that is hilarious. Yeah. And he puts that in his bag. All right. So you guys have a food books. Cool. So, okay. We go up the stairs on the left. Come on. No, it's actually not stairs on the left. It's another room. Okay. You have to go into another chamber. That's just as large and complicated as the one that you're in. Oh, okay. Trap expert. Great. Good idea. Two to six plus dexterity. I think. Right. Yeah. Great job. Holy shit. Yay. 10, 10. Okay, great.

So what you get those three holes, the three holds. So is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? There is a trap broadly. Cause we've just, we've determined that traps are broadly things that are a danger to you. Right. There are a bunch of people in here. Oh shit. There's like a gaggle of librarians. There seems to be some sort of lecture going on. Oh, can we listen in a little bit? Uh, yeah, absolutely. Wonderful. What's this section? Oh, this section is astrology and astronomy.

Cool. Really cool. Ages and their mysteries. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those are like the words written on the different shelves that you're passing, like astrology, and astronomy ages in their mysteries. Yeah. Oh, I mean, this is the kind of section where if there was a lecture going on here, it would probably be about the outer dark. Oh, sick. Okay. Let's listen in. So sick. Yeah. Okay.

So you hear what sounds like the voice of a very elderly woman and she's expounding on, I, it's going to be really hard for me to effectively improv lecture about the, the outer dark. What we could do is you could be the lady and we could be like students asking questions. Yeah. That's a really cool idea. Yeah. Okay.

So, um, you obviously you're coming in in the middle of something like you're not getting the full picture of what she was talking about before, but she is talking about the Druids of the world have discovered that as all nature has a reflection on the material plane, that the, the hearts and minds of humanity and the various races and peoples have reflected on the material plane.

And so the Druids of the world have reflections upon the immaterial, which then reflect again upon the material, the hopes, aspirations, concepts of being and of living. They exist outside of us and outside of ourselves and therefore inform the lives of those that live on this planet.

And this is a study that has been undertaken by many over the millennia, but there are a few experts as this realm, this car, this cognitive plane of existence that some have referred to in the past as the outer dark is almost impossible for humanity to perceive in a way that would allow extensive cataloging categorization. So we can only hypothesize, which we have been doing for centuries and has in many ways been the purpose of this library and the librarians which inhabit it.

So you're the, the, the theory is, this is one of the, one of the people listening. State your name, what's up.

Uh borbo borbon borbo borblo yes he's here he's 50 yeah cool 60 years old intellectual now yeah borbon borbo borbon I'm from no no no no borbo borbon borblo hey what's up borbo borbon borblo um new trainee librarian I'm 60 years old I'm starting again my old career was as a dishwasher uh I ran that out for about 40 years and decided to switch things up still pretty buff though I am familiar with you from our past lectures initiate borbo borblo I'm sorry I'm having trouble keeping your name straight me too borbo borbon borblo yes initiate borblo continue anyone that wants any uh more background on me I have a couple of music bottles that have spout more Mall Brats in them it has some information on who I am what I did before this I can't believe we're actually allowing this to be borblo I could also just no I love oh it's kind of funny totally great yeah yeah uh all right so what you're saying is there's the there's us right yes and we're like in this like where we are now where there's like cakes and stuff right the material plane yes yeah cakes are considered part of the material plane and then there's like uh there's a place where like the the druids go where there's like there's like a place where there's like a place where there's like a place where there's like a place animals and shit no cakes some druids go there it said the druids of the principalities in the great forest have transcended into the spiritual realm for a variety of reasons but the magi of mccall strictly do not why not they consider it uh meddling in forces beyond the ken of humanity they see the spiritual realm as a place upon only which gods can walk all right back to my question about cake yes borblo so cake exists here not in the spiritual world no is there cake in the outer dark I suppose there would there could potentially be an icon representing culinary desires the idea of sharing food of creating food for enjoyment and for connection I would I would be very much interested in seeing a demon of cakes she kind of laughs herself a little bit yes uh hi um my name's clover and oh my god they're all here I was so clovers it would make sense 50 50 like 52 yeah yeah um I've been studying the lunar cycles and the outer dark for a long time now and I'm just working on a little essay and I would love your input about you know whether the beings of the outer dark walk amongst us um that's an interesting theory beings is somewhat of a misnomer when it comes to the outer dark the outer dark is inhabited by what some scholars have referred to as icons iconography symbology that represents concepts of humanity and those icons are not strictly people but sort of a interconnected network of thoughts and histories and those thoughts and histories take on a form of their own and those icons influence the materiality of the human being and they're not just a material plane in an attempt to bolster their own existence is the theory by working through humanity so a fraction of an icon inhabits a material form right and would we be able to like you know babe let me take this for you oh borbo it's not necessary we're married yeah yeah I mean I guess it's only an eight year difference yeah when we're 50 it doesn't matter at all wow and we didn't get married like you know super long yeah um babe don't worry about it um are we able to like distinguish when we see these beings you know can we are there is there anything where we can tell them apart from ourselves no and she it takes on an almost conspiratorial tone what I say these words these thoughts these theories cannot pass through the walls of this library of course the margani library and its librarians have come into unfortunate conflict with the light guard of the church of the flame over the last several decades over these hypotheses but it is thought by some myself included that demons represent a reflection of the outer dark in humanity and that over time creatures such as the afrit those icons overtake their hosts transmuting their forms into those that would better do their work on this plane some remain mostly human mostly in their humanoid forms because the icons which they represent do not seek to corrupt and transmute for their purposes whereas some seek to use those vessels as a tool as a weapon so it is said that demons are representatives of the icons of the outer dark whether or not you can perceive the existence of one of these icons inside a human is difficult some forms are quite easy to spot some are near and perceptible amazing uh hi my name is uh uh fenton beasley man his voice finally broke hello I am dr fenton beasley doctor he looks at borbo a little bit and clover yeah I am doctor yeah he said he really leans into the doctor what else does what other uh accreditation I am a uh I am sir dr fenton beasley clover rolls her eyes of the um of the dr fenton beasley academy of culinary design and uh turtle worship sir dr fenton beasley phd dds he's a dentist now oh my god uh is it true that the can you say that you're a dentist yes yes yes As far as you see fit, and as far as we're allowed to talk about here in these hallowed walls, about the Lightguard using the Outer Dark as a sort of prison, capturing people there and keeping them there, creatures that don't exist there.

Is it possible to exist in the Outer Dark if you are not of the Outer Dark? That is a fascinating question, and one that has been expounded on in the past. It is thought by some that if the icons of the Outer Dark represent a reflection of humanity's interests and desires on this planet, that it could potentially be possible, through means unknown to me, to cast a person's own reflection upon the Outer Dark, thereby binding a portion of their self in the cognitive realm.

Well, I've heard this theory as well, but in the circles that I've heard, effectively, the Lightguard is killing them. It is functionally a death sentence, some would theorize, because without the self, the body is nothing. And without the body, the self is nothing. And I have one more follow-up question. Yes. Dr. Beasley, here. You can call me Dr. Beasley. Everyone here can call me Sir Dr. Beasley. We've all known each other, dude, for like 40 years.

Yeah, I don't know why you have to come to every single lecture I go to. And I thought I knew, everyone for 40 years. Did they recently get divorced? He's so bitter and overcompensating with too many letters after his name. I know we're not supposed to speak this word, or of this, especially in such a heavily populated Lightguard territory as this. But what can you tell me of the Darkguard? She sort of like sighs and almost rolls her eyes a little bit.

This is, we are reaching the outside edge of scholarly expertise. We're bordering on copper book fantasy and fiction. But if I'm remembering correctly, the Darkguard supposedly, allegedly represent almost an antithesis to the place of the Lightguard and society in that they are supposedly an organization, or order of demons that seek to work nefariously upon the material plane. Sounds quite like silly hearsay to me.

Well, like the effects of the outer dark, the reflections that we see here on our earth and our planet. What would be the reflections of us in the outer dark? That is an interesting thought. One I am almost reticent to comment on. All right. If I could pick one. If I could be honest with you. That's fine. The reflections of us upon the outer dark sound to me like nothing more than broken fragments, pieces of glass upon the shore of the sea. I thank you for your time. Thank you.

And I would like to ask my fellow librarians and thanking our comrades from the principalities for joining us for today's lecture. And there's a smattering of like, oh, yes, thank you. Thank you very much. As a bunch of the McCollin librarians, like basically nod and bowed at the three visiting initiates. Borbo gets up and he flexes his biceps, which are still pretty big. And he bows. And he's like, you're welcome, McCall. Fenton toots. And the clutches his cane sword. His cane sword still has.

But he walks with it like it's an actual cane now because he's older. Oh, yeah. He's got a little golden turtle on top. Yeah. Clover walks up to the lecture to have like to continue the conversation. Yeah. It's that thing like at the end of a class. Where everybody breaks off and is having their own conversation. Some people are wandering away. And this older woman is speaking to this even older woman. And the three of you see this breaking up on the far side of this chamber.

But people are kind of wandering in your direction. I have two more questions, too. Oh, my God. That was a trap expert. I know. Cool. Wow. I hope that's okay. It was fun. No, that was great. Okay. So you got two more. Hold on that. Okay. What does the trap do when activated? If somebody sees you in this room full of people, jigs up. Fuck. Okay. What else is hidden here?

Now that the three of you have heard this like fragment of a lecture about like demons and their place in the cosmology of creation. I think Tuck being the one that can most easily read McCollin is like, holy shit. That's so fucking cool. And as you move a little bit further down the shelves in the like ages. And their mysteries. You see a text that is one of several volumes. I'm going to say the one that you grab is like volume three, but it's on demonology. Oh, it's like the study of demons.

Sick. Sick. Yeah. I put back the dick mushroom book in the demonology spot. Yeah. And I take that one. Yeah. So it's basically like an encyclopedia. It's like, I don't know. K to N. All right. So what do you do? Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Oh, you know what? There's a, there's a table to the side with like name tags for like the lecture. So we could be. Yeah.

Not everyone attended lecture who bought tickets. Uh huh. Guys. Guys. I've been grabs. The one that says like doctor, uh, miss, mrs. Mrs. But a bumble, but the, uh, mysterious zoologist. He's shut. Put all of his, uh, his, uh, Marino stuff into as like.

Breasts yeah he puts it in he combs his hair like a little straighter puts his lips tuck take this one I take one it says franklin stein and I put it on oh he's a lecturer now no he's he didn't show up yeah he's one of the attendees he's four floors up dancing through the stacks exactly he got distracted because he's a famous dancer somebody was like franklin yeah they're like some people were like oh I wish we would have seen him okay and what's the one that billy grabs billy just grabs one that says uh uh billy grabs one that he thinks is a name tag but it just says potato salad and it because it was from the craft service table it's the same table and it says please sign in I love that we set up this like insular isolated library and then in literally one sentence you all decided nah people just kind of come and go no you have to buy tickets and then you get on a secret bus that goes everywhere everyone's blindfolded everyone's blindfolded everyone's blindfolded with a canvas bag over there yeah a magical canvas bag that erases your memory of the time you're in the bus yeah and then you are literally brought into it drives into the library I think what it is is that clover fenton franklin and now borblow are all scholars they have over the last 40 years somehow been recruited into the library yeah well if you were all waiting with bated breath to find out what happened to the lives oh yeah they all work at a university and then but it's fun because when you because the new cool treat kids all these hot new young actors are their students and those four show up every once in a while as like teachers and guidance counselors that's kind of fun this is a great spin-off yeah spelt more mall rats the next generation okay uh yeah so you grab a bunch of name tags there are people wandering towards you and your plan is you're going to be a kid uh blend in blend in so you know billy helps himself to a fistful of potato salad and he's like what what an amazing uh knowledgeable filled afternoon full of uh questions and uh conclusions and theoretical enhancements you're and you're all just walking through like saying this to each other trying to cover yeah we're trying to get to the stairwell on the other side of the room okay someone uh someone roll uh to fight it your charisma and billy's leading it yeah billy's leading it so it's billy no don't be five plus uh charisma yeah is seven okay great yeah uh okay so just barely yeah you're getting some weird looks mostly because tuck is huge thing uh is also really tall looks from all the fellas oh yeah and billy is like a tiny little kid that's just saying a bunch of nonsense so you're getting some looks but most people are just kind of they're chattering about the lecture they're like wow that was amazing interesting blah blah blah the outer dark demons blah blah blah and you walk towards um what you're hoping praying is the stairwell and as you are just about at the doorway like an old stooped woman with very dark skin and very long gray hair and a long braid steps in front of you and turns to you with a smile on her face and says did you enjoy the lecture and you can tell from her voice that this is the woman who was giving the lecture that you just overheard very much so kindly allow us to exit the library for a breath of fresh air it was quite uh an enlightening experience I would I would be absolutely pleased if you could what was your what was the part that interested you the most oh the pictures the potato salad the lovely lady with the purple hair oh right I forgot her hair is naturally lavender yeah right yeah um oh I see I see it was quite a quite an interesting topic one I've spent much time investigating if you would please just join me perhaps we could go over a little bit more of the lecture I'd like I'd love some pointers yes sure yes quite a good idea I mean I mean we would love to but I have to use the bathroom would I be able to do that and then meet up with you afterwards I'm afraid not oh please join me and she she puts her hands like she clasps her hands behind her back and starts walking away uh should we go with her well we could take one old bitch right I guess if we really have to but she looks kind of like a grandma well she is asking for it you're saying very quietly to each other not yelling we could beat up one old lady right lady lady right right right and she walks you basically uh so there's like the doorway was in front of you with the stairwell and then along that wall there was like two other exits to this room yeah and she takes you uh left of the stairwell and walks you through another room into a smaller chamber with like desks and a lot of stuff and she walks you through another room and she walks you and walks you through another room into a smaller chamber with like desks and a lot of stuff and she a lamp do you like try and break off at any point or do you just follow her we just follow her why in tuck's head it's like oh the further we get away for this crowd the easier it'll be for us to like break away so it's like he's just down to follow yeah also he's kind of just interested in what's going on she just wants to talk we can fudge our way through that yeah all right so I follow you guys vinga's very cautious yeah and she work she walks you into what's functionally a work chamber like a study room breakout room for after the lectures when people want to go over the stuff.

And she stands by the doorway and gestures that you walk in after you. Okay, yeah. I'll discern realities as I'm walking into the room. Yeah. Because my plan is to, if I get in there and something's fucked up, to turn around and rush out. Yeah, totally. Six. I'll eight. I need eight. Okay. 13. Sick. All right. So yeah, one question. What is about to happen? Basically what's happening is she's walking you into this room because she knows something's up. She wasn't born yesterday.

She knows that you're trying to infiltrate the library. So she's getting you in this room to corner you. Okay. And that is where you find yourselves now. Yeah. With a 70-year-old woman standing in the doorway between you and the rest of the library, reaching herself up to her full height, doing that kind of thing where like an old woman is standing in the doorway and an old person who spends a little too much time hunched over, as you can tell, she's like stretching out her back and shoulders.

And she's got her hands clasped in front of her. And she says, why have you infiltrated this library? It feels surprisingly unthreatening. It feels unyielding, her question, but non-threatening. Why have you infiltrated my library? For the potato salad, I'm going to have to go to the library. Billy's still holding it. Yeah. That he's been eating like an apple. Yeah, it's really good.

I somehow doubt that you have gone through all the trouble of sneaking into a place renowned for its security for the potato salad. Your library? What's your name? I am Farah Margani, master librarian. Whoa. I met someone with the last name Margani five months ago on the other side of the sea. Your graves. I'm a Margani. What do you mean you spoke to Alma Margani? He died over a thousand years ago. He was the vessel for the icon of truth. And he was enslaved by the torch of McCall.

She takes one more step into the room, reaches behind her and closes the door, takes a chair from the desk and puts it just in front of the door, sits down and says, you have 10 minutes. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz. So long. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye.

Thank you to Aaron Reed for our incredible intro and outro music. And thank you to our supporters all around the world for supporting us on the internet, wherever that happens, at Spout Lore in most places. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale.

Tale of adventures three Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore