Spout Lorigins: The Time Before

Hey, everybody. Abdul here with the Spout Lore crew. Got Paul. Yeah, hey. Jessica. Hello. And Sean. Hi. And I've taken over the podcast. That's why I'm doing the announcement. Finally. Thank you. But we just wanted to drop a quick announcement here at the beginning of this episode, because this is a very special episode that we did a crossover, a special Halloween crossover with the crew over at Dungeons and Dragons.

We played an episode where our group and their group met up, and we had a spooky Halloween time adventure. And spooky it was. The first half of the adventure is going to be over here on our feed. And if you want to hear the conclusion, you're going to want to head over to the Dungeons and Dragons feed, where we, for the first time, play D&D 5th edition. Is that what that was? It was. It was. I know it was a lot more dice and numbers than you are all used to. Yeah.

In the second half, we are at a middle school dance. So you get to see exactly how awkward we all were in middle school. It was pretty fun. And you should be able to find a link to that episode and their feed in the show notes. So yeah, enjoy the episode and head over to Dungeons and Dragons for the conclusion. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

But nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed Their quests are famously daring So here I sit Singing to you an adventure That is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home He loves to sing and fight Thing is half-elf, he shifts his shape And wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief His tiny size does max the largest heart Best and brightest They may not be But their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends And listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome The Barbarian Abdulaziz Hello, I am Tacoma Dome I am a human barbarian My pronouns are He, him, and so are tux And I am Seven foot tall Five foot wide Probably like three feet deep I wear Kind of like a loose Kind of loin guard and boots I've got a loot with me most of the time Like a little backpack I'm bald of head and thick Of thigh And I have Like brown skin And Yeah, that's just what I look like Most of the time And now the character?

Yeah, also this is what the player Abdul also looks like Just scaled down by about 75% Playing Ving, the half-elf druid Paul Oppers Hello, my name is Paul Pronouns are he, him And I play Ving Vang Zumba A half-elf druid Pronouns He, they And he's a shapeshifter With wild gray long hair And a big puffy fur collar Flaps, lots of leather flaps Clothing flaps And waist flaps Knee flaps I got some dainty little boots on To help me Move through the forest silently And I have a spear And I'm tall and thin And wild gray eyes Pointy ears and I got gills Go on And playing Ving Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hello, I'm Jessica She, her I play Billy Who is a halfling child thief His pronouns are he, him He is two feet tall And two feet wide A little beach ball baby Rosy cheeks And red ginger hair He's cloaked in a little raccoon skin Cape hat thingy And wears little like I don't know, earthy tones Little baby boots Just a little guy in general Very hungry all the time And not joining me as always Playing Nrixius Acra A.K.A.

Glim the Dragonborn Paladin Carla Maxted Hi, I'm Carla I play Glim Glim is a Dragonborn paladin So Dragonborn is very tall She's about six foot five Looks like a bipedal dragon Covered in scales That are kind of different hues Of metallic brass and rose gold And platinum Her hands are Have talons with claws at the end She has a really long tail Big long horns And she is real into Bahamut Her main god Number one Love Playing Sullivan Slight The halfling rogue Amy Hey I'm Amy Moore And I play Sullivan Slight A lightfoot halfling rogue Sully has He's a He's a halfling So he's a shorter person He's a shorter person His pronouns are he him He's got this like Kind of like mid-length haircut With like half up bun situations Kind of a half man bun going on there And he's got deep dark skin And likes to dress in leathers And earth tones And he's pretty ballin' I'm playing Moot the half-orc sorcerer Tom Laird Yeah hello I'm Tom he him I'm playing Moot He is a half-orc sorcerer Has a wild magic background So occasionally he funds me out of my life Occasionally fun things happen when he casts spells He's got dark green eyes He's about five foot five Dark gray kind of green skin He's got a couple like lower fangs That kind of jut out from his mouth And yeah he kind of Just rocks like a messenger bag And you know Tunic and pants and boots That's so funny That he's just got a messenger bag He's got a little laptop in there Right I wish If you haven't guessed yet We've got sort of a crossover situation going on folks We've got the fine fine people at Dungeons and Dragons joining us today And also co-gming Russ Moore Hey that's me Co-gming gonna have a fun time It's like what we're doing here is like a Saturday morning cartoons crossover You know of the days of old 90s when Spider-man would go visit the X-Men And we'll let you determine Who's Spider-man and who's the X-Men in that scenario But if you don't choose Russ as Spider-man He'll hunt you down Yeah he will be personally offended When Abdul was last on our podcast he called people out to come to his lawn Now's the time when I drop my address and call you to my lawn Did I give out my address?

Yeah and your phone number buddy And your phone number Don't worry I edited it out But you did scream don't edit this out right after that But it is still up for patrons so You know you pay money you know You can go harass him too hard Well I'll give it out again My phone number is And my address is And after this crossover you come to my house And you tell me which one of The two shows you thought was better Which one of the cast was better And if you don't pick Spout Lore I'll Bite you on my front lawn Those are all fair things All fair you can pick Spout Lore when you're talking to me I'm not talking to Abdul but we know in your heart Of hearts that it's No competition because we're all friends here No competition because we're all here to have fun Why is it so competitiony?

Alright stop me talking You're the GM Wonderful then we'll get down to A game of Dungeon World A game that you all have not played before Once Sweet once Alright Tuck, Billy and Ving Two days ago you were resting At an inn called The Pluck Chicken Having a Just a nice meal on the road waiting for You know night to fall and Sleep to take you when you noticed a Poster on the side of The wall next to the fireplace That said to all seeking Riches and glory Please come To the midnight fair And then smaller underneath Ancider festival To take part in the challenge set up by my uncle, Count Murphy Vengabus.

And if thou art successful, his riches and inheritance thou shalt gain. And you found yourselves unable to resist the challenge. Let's see a second of how unable to resist that challenge you were. What does the poster say? It says, if to all seeking riches and glory, my uncle, Count Murphy Vengabus, has set up a challenge at the Midnight Fair and Cider Festival. And if thou art successful, his estate and inheritance thou shalt gain. How big is this fucking poster?

Yeah, it's actually a guy standing next to a poster who is telling you, this is the guy, I'm the guy, this is what's going on. Can you just read it? Can you say it in regular words instead of like literary languages? Okay, if you can just give me a fucking second. So the Vengabus is coming. No, yeah, this guy, Count Murphy Vengabus died. And his inheritance is available to whoever succeeds at a series of challenges. Are the challenges haunted?

The challenges are spending a night in a haunted house. That's the challenge. At the Cider Festival? The Cider Festival is a… Adjacent to a haunted house. So do you want to undertake these challenges or not? Hey Edgar, have you put up the sign yet? I'm trying. These guys keep fucking bothering me. Well, look, the boss told you if they ask too many questions, just move on to the next schlubs. Yeah, if you don't want it, that's fine. I'll see you guys later. No, no, no, no.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Is there free food at the Cider Festival and Midnight Show? Yeah, it's like a fair. There's like, there's food, there's games. Is there food better than the plucked chicken though? This stuff's delicious. I mean, it depends on how you feel about plucked chickens versus like a churro or an elephanty or a mini donut, which are all the same foods in different shapes. Wow, I've never eaten any of those animals. I would love to. I would love to go.

All right, then just see me. Come meet me outside tomorrow morning and I'll take you there. What time? Whatever, 7.30. You're going to be there? You're going to be here at the restaurant at 7.30? Do they do breakfast here too? Is it like a brunch? Yeah, they have a continental breakfast that doesn't start until 7.30. Because the unplugged chicken did not have an uncontinental breakfast. Look, that's when the carriage shows up and takes you to the venue.

So you don't have to, you can drink while you're there and then we bring you back home. It's very straightforward. Dougie, this was before I found out there was a continental breakfast. We will be leaving at 8 a.m. Oh, okay. Okay, 8 a.m. We can hold up. Yeah, I need that. I'm getting a little bowl of cereal. I need a bowl of cereal and a cold waffle. That's why I need that. And for my sanity, we cut forward 12 hours. I'm still at the inn eating, I don't know, my seventh helping.

I haven't slept at all. The driver realizes Billy is still there, turns around, goes back to the inn, grabs Billy. We cut forward another four hours. Billy is still eating. He's standing on the dead body of… Eating, finishing the bucket of chicken. And then we're going to cut forward an indeterminate amount of time that I'm in control of. And the cart that you three have been riding on for the better part of a day enters a forest. The sun is sitting low in the sky.

The gnarled, dark trees of the forest form an impenetrable tunnel ahead of you. The tunnel itself is not impenetrable. Yeah, how are we going to get through this tunnel? Yeah. It's a tunnel. Oh my God. It's one of those Roadrunner Wile E. Coyote tunnels that's just painted on. But a train comes out of it, really? Yeah. You enter the forest through the impenetrable tunnel and you hear in the, you know, the forest is quiet. You hear whoo, whoo.

And eventually the sounds of the forest give way to what sounds like calliope music. So it's kind of like… Like a… Like a jack in the box. That is not what a jack in the box sounds like. Okay. By show of hands, who thought that that was a jack in the box? I mean, organ grinder is pretty close. It's like… Right. Yeah. An organ grinder and a jack in the box are different things. Very close though. They are. Can I ask the owl where that music's coming from? Hey, who, who, who? What's up?

Oh, you can talk to animals. I always forget. 45 minutes later. Yeah. There's an owl sitting on the branches above you. What? What? Hey, what's going on? Where's that music coming from? How's this cider festival? Seriously. Is there anybody there? Is it worth it? I'm an owl. I have very little frame of reference for cider festivals, but there's people there. All right. Goodbye. And you ride a little bit further into the forest and come out into a clearing mercifully at last.

And the lights of this fairground fill the center of this forest clearing. There's stands everywhere with like black and yellow striped tents. There are people making and serving different kinds of fried foods. There's games. You can hear people yelling and laughing, having a great time, bells and whistles going off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Haunted mansion of some kind.

It's kind of got like this rough and shabby painted wood facade. And there's a small line of people standing outside of it. And the guy driving the cart stops and says, okay, just get off of my cart. We're here. And if you want to do the thing, do the thing. But I just got to get away from you. Is it because I farted so much? I'm really sorry about that. It's just like the chicken made me so gassy. And I'm not supposed to hold it in. I don't think it was the chicken.

I think it was the sheer quantity of chicken that might have done that for you, my child. All right, noted. Now, please get off my cart and I will see you never again, hopefully. Okay, bye. Bye. Okay, hopefully never. Thank you, help me down. Yeah, of course, bud. There you go. Whoa. Sorry. You are getting a plump, my friend. Thank you. You're very welcome.

And then Tuck leans over to Ving and he's like, we should maybe start like teaching a portion control because an entire inn's worth of continental breakfast is maybe too much. He cleared out a generation of chickens. I know. You told me that those chickens like started a myth about him after he left. Yeah, they were talking about him. There was one who was carving in the ground an image of him that they were supposed to avoid.

For their children to be hatched because they knew they weren't going to be there when they did hatch. They called him the hunger. So, yeah, what do you guys do? Do you see what you believe to be the haunted mansion of Count Murafu Vengabus in the distance and a number of tents and stalls around you? Cool. Do you guys want some cider? I can get some cider. Yeah, I'll have some cider. Great. Let's get some cider. Hey, cider guy. Yeah. Hey, I'm not the same. I'm the same guy. That's for sure.

And I'm also selling cider. What can I get you? Selling? No, thank you. Adieu, my good man. I thought this was a free cider festival. Yeah, there's a booth a few stalls down that says free cider. Shit, sorry. This guy. There's a booth that's selling cider and then another booth that's just free cider. Several down from it. Yeah. Yeah. Good luck, buddy. We go up to the free cider guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Good luck, buddy. We go up to the free cider guy and we're like, okay, you, what's wrong with this cider that it's free when other people are selling cider? This guy has an eye patch and he's breathing kind of hard. I don't know what you're talking about. I've got this cider. I found, I steal from the booth three stalls down and I sell my I'll-gotten booty from this stall. No, sorry. I don't sell. I give it away for free. Did the cider seller hurt you, sir?

Um, that is a past that I keep within me. Do you want some cider or not? Heck yeah. We'll take three. Okay. Here you go. And he gives you, um, three cups of cider. Hmm. How's it taste? I never actually had me. Wait. I already drank mine. I don't know what's going to happen. What is your business model, sir? What's your name? My name. My name is, uh, is, uh, is tillium. Yup. That's it. It's tillium. Tillium. Yup. I think it's tillium. Yup. It's a really nice name. It's really similar to mine.

What's your name? It's fat. Billy is short for fat. William. Oh, they, your first name is fat or they call you fat. It's just, you know, everyone has one of them. Skinny. Billy. Old Billy. They were all taken. You know. Is this your kid? Do you call your kid fat Billy? He came with that name. Yeah. I mean, what's a name? My name is Ving Vang Zumba. I don't care. Like, what am I going to do is change somebody's name. I guess. My name is Tillium. Yup.

I don't really have any, uh, leg to stand on here. Anyways, you guys should go check out that haunted mansion. That seems to be sort of the focal point of the fair. And that's probably a good place to start. See what's going on. We'll work our way to it eventually. Ooh. Is that wiener drop? Uh, it actually is. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Shit. There's a wiener drop. Yes. A wiener drop.

As you were talking to Tillium Yup, three, for you, very interesting looking figures come walking down the sort of, uh, cider row. Uh, one is a halfling, not unlike Billy, but seems to be, um, a lot taller and leaner, though still not very tall or lean, uh, for a person. Uh, a person that appears to be partially orc. Like, but not, uh, the gray of the Macallan orcs that you're used to seeing. And a full-on bipedal dragon. Oh! Oh!

I hide behind, I hide behind Tuck, I guess, because he's the biggest. Oh my God. Look at how tall that halfling is. They're beautiful. Guys, I don't think we should drink the cider from, from this booth. Can't be worse than the pickle lemonade. And, and it says it's free, so. Okay. Yeah. Sully, Moot, and Glim, you seem to have three individuals staring aghast at the three of you. What do you do? Look, look at the, I mean the stare, I mean the staring.

Well, they, they're just looking at my cool ranch Dorito corn dog that I got right over there. Fuck, I want a cool ranch Dorito corn dog. That's fucking great. God damn it, Tom! My brain parsed that so weird, because I thought it was a cool. Cool. Ranch Dorito. Ranch Dorito. Hot dog. And then I realized what I was actually. No, no, no, no. It's cool ranch. Excuse me, people in front of us. Oh my God. Is this cider, is, is the free cider poison? Yeah, that's the question.

I mean, it's not immediate poison. We're still here. This one's on me. Oh, this free cider's on you? I, thank you. That's great. Thank you. That's so nice. Well, you guys, I don't know. Like. That's a good idea, man. Oh, that's okay. I'll see what I can do. Will you about to give us a price for these ciders? That, it says free? Oh no, it's free. Okay. No, I'm, I just, hey, can I, and he leans over and he tries to get one of your cups back. Oh, you can have mine.

Is this just a little bit of backwash? So you can just dump it out. Yeah, that's fine. I'll dump it out. And he dumps it out on the ground and he wipes it out with a shirt and he comes back up with six cups full of cider. Okay, that one might be poison. He mixes that with a little bit of cider. That's better. That's better. That's better. Dumps it out on the ground and he wipes it out with a shirt and he comes back up with six cups full of cider. Okay, that one might be poison.

He mixes them up before you can take them out. Of course. I want everybody to have the same experience with the cider. Anyways, it's not poison. Nothing instills confidence like someone saying it's not poison. Well, cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Sully does that thing where you pretend to drink but then just pours it down his back. Like Cookie Monster. I catch that in my empty cup which I had already drank. I'm like, I'm not going to waste this. What does this cider taste like, guys? Like kombucha.

Oh, kind of fizzy? Yeah, it's a little young maybe I would have said. A little green, a little fresh. Is it just apple juice? Well, it's not quite apple juice and it's not quite cider. It's somewhere tillium yuppling and it goes, ya close. Hey, maybe sometime do you guys want to pay for cider? Yeah, can we shuffle down and pay for some cider? Yeah, let's go to the paid cider. Just to compare. This one's on you guys. I'm sorry, what? No, totally. This one's on us. No problem.

Hold on, because he got the free ones? Just to be nice. It's fine. So, six ciders, my good person? This one has a monocle on. The opposite of an iPad. Just the same guy? Did he just come three boots over? He's also breathing kind of heavy. Welcome to my paid cider cart. All the cider costs money here. Why does everyone in this village seem to have the same sort of loose New Jersey accent? That's a great question. And some kind of eye? Is there… You know what?

Now that you mention it, we all do kind of have an eye thing. You know what I mean? Anyway, six ciders, that'll be one coin, please. Here you go, my good man. Thank you very much. He gives you the cider. One for six? I know, one coin? How much is a coin? The Dungeon World economy is very loose. I'll give you guys a quick… Let me take a quick… Because I can honestly never remember how much stuff costs. I mean, D&D has serious real money and we don't care about that at all.

There are silvers and coppers and… Russ tries every once in a while, but… I made them get a bank account. Wow. So here's an interesting thing. Bandages, which have three uses and cost five coins and heal four damage. That's five coins. A healing potion, which heals ten damage, is fifty coins. It's exponential growth. Yeah. A week's stay at a peasant inn is fourteen coins minus your charisma. Right, because you can be like, hey… What about a week's stay at a holiday inn? Hmm.

That's a civilized inn. They do have that. A week's stay at a civilized inn is thirty coins minus charisma. But if you stay there for two months, you get kind of a deal, because they don't have to clean as often, so it's a little bit less. Now what if you just want it hourly? Because you just enjoy jumping up and down on the beds. Yep. But you don't want to make your own bed. That actually costs a little bit more for discretion. You add your charisma score onto the price for that one.

God, can't a halfling just bounce on a bed? Only because I know what that means I'll say no. I've been to the halfling lands. I know what's up. I don't know. Where are halflings from in Faerun? It doesn't matter. Everywhere. Everywhere and nowhere. Oh. Interesting. Oh, yeah. They're kind of like a diaspora. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. They're all over the place. Got them in the hills, in the mountains. Under the ground. No, those are gnomes. In the trees. You can't tell me where I can live.

Sully starts digging. Are you going to halfling-splain? Yes. That's right. Sorry, I'll go back to my corner over here. You're the guy at the bartered cider booth. Oh, there's a bartered cider booth. It's in between the free cider and the paid cider. Hey, who's got a deal? Oh. Yeah, I got a bunch of this cheap, shitty cider. I'll give you this. Free cider for a bit of your ha-cider? Oh, yeah. We got the ha-cider over here. You can take it and you can trade it for funnel cakes later.

Billy, what do you think, bud? Oh, I would eat any kind of cake for sure. A funnel. Whatever other shapes exist. Cup? Great. As long as you give them the cup, they put the funnel cake in the cup. But then does it make it a cupcake? You're onto something. You're onto something. Yeah, so you kind of got the run of this fair. There's games. From what you can hear, there's a cider competition going on. Some sort of judge all the ciders deal and, you know, just general fair stuff.

Hey, what are you guys doing here? Well, you know, we heard that Murphy Vengabus bit the biscuit and well, the sign was a little confusing because someone read it to me but they said, my uncle? And so I'm like, hold on a second. We're going to have to fight someone for his uncle's stuff. That's what I think. So just be on your toes. We came to see the haunted house. Yeah, what he said.

In a more general sense, we're going to save the world and this is just like one stop in our grand scheme to save the world. But Glim, have you told him about Bahamut yet? Oh my God, you guys know about Bahamut? We've known you for five minutes and I can't believe she hasn't bonded up yet. Well, I mean, cider and I can talk about Bahamut if you guys want. Yeah. Oh yeah, please. I would like to a quick primer on Bahamut. Okay.

There's this really cool guy and his name's Bahamut and he basically like makes the world full of truth and justice and make sure all the good people are punished. No, no opposite that. Oh my God, this cider is going into my head. This is so embarrassing for Glim. Wow. Can we still record this forever? Look, look, that guy's doing caricatures. We need a picture of Glim fucking up a speech.

I guess the thing is usually people have walked away by now, so I don't usually get this far into my whole spiel about Bahamut, but you know, rewards the good, punishes the bad, maintains an equilibrium of truth and justice in the world. Is it like a dragon god? Yeah, well, I mean, he's a dragon, but sometimes he's an old man. You know gods. Totally. Yeah. Super chill. Totally. He's a really cool guy. Do you guys want to get one of those like potato potatoes? Yes, I do.

Do they do blooming onions here? Does anyone know? Oh, yeah. They saw blooming onions in the next row over. I'll go get a blooming onion with you. Yeah, they just grow in the ground honestly. They're just picked by a British guy. Blooming. Just rummage around in the ground and find a blooming onion. That's like a Mario 2 situation. Yeah, you pull it out. If you pull it quick enough, they're still warm. And if you lift it above your head, you get 20 gold.

Yeah, there's so you head to the food court area. There are all of the fried foods that you could imagine. There are rotato potatoes. There's regular potatoes, french fried potatoes, a variety of rats. Get your rats. There's a rat booth. Is he saying rats? It's a raps. Rat raps, I believe. Yeah, it looks like a rat inside a wrap. It's a rat. A rat wrap. Can you rap about the rat rap, please? In West Philadelphia, born and raised on the playgrounds where I learned rat raps. Yeah.

I can't use that. Just behind a paywall. This is on their show. Will Smith, if you got a problem, with us, Abdul will fight you on his front lawn. His address is Yeah. Get over here, Fresh Prince, and I will do you dirty. Fuck, I shouldn't have said that. I mean, he might come over now. Can I discern realities or spell Laura? Absolutely. Oh my God. It feels weird. Yeah, it does, doesn't it? Go ahead. So Spout Lore. Well, no, I guess discern realities.

We'll do a discern realities, which is 2d6 plus your wisdom modifier. Okay. Shit. Five. Straight up failure. Yeah. Okay. So your failure is you look around and you're like, man, something is fucking up with this place. And you notice that the the edge of the forest that your cart came through. You can't seem to find the path that brought you into this place. And the more you look around, you realize you can't really see a path that will bring you out of this place. Oh, fuck.

It's a side, isn't it? It's churning in here. No, it's not that it's do you guys see where the entrance where we came in was? Yeah, it was right over the what? Are we trapped here? Well, you know, I'm not totally surprised. It was an impenetrable tunnel. So that was the weird part. Yeah. Yeah. The fact we got in here is just completely amazing as it is. We should probably just enjoy it. That owl fucked with me. I make it what? Sorry, that owl. I think he had something to do with it. Okay.

Sully looks at Moonglum like this guy, a guy with a guy with a top hat and a coat with tails walks up to you and he's got like a domino mask across his eyes like one of those straight up black masks. It's like, hey, are you guys enjoying the midnight fair inside a festival? Yeah, but it's only like 8 p.m. So I think you need to get your time in. Or is it for mystery? It's more of a mystery kind of thing. It's like a branding operation. Anyways, would you guys like to play a game?

Can I see if he's like suspicious in any way? Yeah, you can discern realities. The man in the top hat and the mask? It doesn't seem suspicious at all. This guy seems normal. And I roll it with 2d6 plus wisdom. Six and then two. So that's nine total. All right. So that means you get one question out of the discern realities list. Okay. You just fully covered your camera like that to look at. And it's not on any of these sheets. I don't remember. It's fine.

The questions for discern realities are what here is useful or valuable to me? Who is really in control here? What here is not what it appears to be? That one. What here is not what it appears to be? Yeah, that's what I'm looking for. Okay. I'm using my binoculars mentally. Oh, the binoculars? Yeah, my mental binoculars. You realize that it's not that everybody in the different booths seems to be vaguely similar.

It's that they are all the same guy and he is running from booth to booth and putting on different disguises because he seems to be panting nonstop. I already knew that. All right. Billy is like Billy tells him he's just like, I'm sorry. I don't have anything new for you guys. But if you would let me finish if you would let me finish my sentence. All right. All of the sounds that you've been hearing people laughing people having a good time all the games being played bells and whistles.

You can see that there's a series of music bottles left all over the place and anything that you saw that you thought was people was like tricks of the light. So you're as far as you can tell the only ones here. Oh my gosh, you guys look over there but like not obviously those aren't empty cider bottles. It's a trap and tucked as a slow turnaround to discreetly look. It's like this. So this is weird. Super discreet. Great visual gag on an audio. It's perfect. Yeah. Yeah.

Dungeon fans will like that. They get it a lot. They get it. But what you do see is closer to the wooden painted facade of the haunted mansion. You see two figures and the guy standing in front of you who's like, do you want to play a game? Is it okay? You know what? Just bring out the nephew. I'll fight him and solve this whole thing. That is not the situation that you find yourself in my fine fellow. The game is not nephew fight. The game is not nephew fight. It's Sully's favorite game.

The nephew fight takes place at the midday festival, a midday fair and beer fest. Oh, yes. Brawling during midday is my favorite. That's when people fight the most we found. That's right. When the sun is its highest in the sky. That is the best time because you make a public scene. Yeah. There's no shadows. No one gets an unfair advantage. Do you guys have uncle race here? Uncle. I'm unfamiliar with that. What race is your uncle? What race is your uncle? Yeah.

It's where you try and guess what race an uncle is. I thought that was the one where you put the uncles in wheelbarrows and just go for it. I mean, that's what it is in the halfling lands. Right? Throw a bunch of halflings in a barrel or in a wheelbarrow. Yes. The uncles and all the nephews and nieces. You get to the river, you dump them in. Whoever dumps their uncles first. It's called dump-a-nunk. Exactly. You've played it before. You know what? Yeah. It's been so…

I haven't talked with another halfling in forever. It's been both so long and too soon. Yes. He didn't mean that. Yeah. Now I'm realizing that the halflings that are looking at each other look very different from one another. Yeah. Because Sully's kind of like slight and like lean and what? How tall would you say? Like three, three and a half? Three foot five. Wow. You are just absolutely… I'm towering above him. I love you. Statuesque. Thanks. You know, come from a tall family, I think.

So these are lifts a little bit too. So yeah. Oh, very nice. Some newspaper in there. Sully, correct me if I'm wrong, but do halflings have kind of a hobbit foot situation going on? Yeah. They're a little furry feet. Yeah. So Billy, this halfling also has large furry feet. You can't see him though. I put them in boots. Oh. I don't flaunt my foot situation. Oh, I love it. You can ask me about it if you want. You also got that on your certain reality. You could see through boots.

It's just right there. The Billnoculars have achieved an x-ray quality. I have to close them off because I'm like, well, I'm seeing too much now. Yeah, that's right. Be careful where you point those. Yeah. Just to clarify, you don't have to fight anybody's uncle. You merely have to spend a night in the haunted mansion of Count Murphy Vangabus. Are you Vangabus? Are you Vangabus? No, I'm not Vangabus. Prove it. Vangabus is dead, one. Vangabus is dead. Vang pokes him in the face.

He's trying to see if he's corporeal. I'm corporeal. Don't you worry. You get him in the eye once or twice. And two, the Count's nephew, Dremel Vangabus, is right over there. Sorry. We look over there. There's a guy in a dark robe with long, dark hair standing with another person who looks… Russ? Who looks very dapper. He's got tails, full tails, and a top hat, and a very pronounced beard. And he's panting. And it's the same guy you were just talking to. I've seen this guy before.

Okay, guys, there's something… I mean, obviously, we are going on here. Excuse me, sir, do you mind? I'm having a private conversation. Who, me? Yeah, you. I saw you leaning in. It wasn't anything weird I was trying to do. I was just trying to listen to your conversation. Is that a strange thing? If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean. Now, shoot. Oh, goddamn, you're right. I got 50 booths I gotta clean. Somebody spilled cider all over there and peed on that barrel over there.

Don't ask me how I know. And he's off. Guys, something weird's going on. Something weird's going on here. Oh, yeah. Because, like, number one, you know, all the weird stuff that Billy said. But then, also, if the nephew's here, why is he giving away his uncle's fortune? And number three, what was the dress code for this festival? Because I feel like we kind of went, like, festival casual and, like, they're wearing top hats and tails. And I just…

I mean, I could have dressed up, but I didn't know. It's inconsiderate not to include it on the poster. Just put the dress code on the poster. If it's going to be black tie, that's fine. But just, like… But also, yeah, everything's totally weird. And, like, why is the nephew want us to… I guess we could go ask. Should we just go… I mean, are we doing anything? We just spend the night here? There's also, like, no way out, right? Like, we're trapped… That's a good point.

That's a great point. We're trapped in here, Mirror Dimension style. Anyone see the most recent What If episode for the Marvel What If series? I skipped it. He's doing fantasy shit. He's doing fantasy shit. He's doing fantasy shit. He's doing fantasy shit. The guy with the top hat and the domino mask is like, there's just too much Marvel stuff now. You know what I mean? It's kind of hard to keep up with everything. He saturated the market is what it has done.

It's like, I like an Avenger as much as the next guy, but do I really want to know what fucking Bucky's up to once he gets a haircut? I don't think so. He's very mopey, sir. Oh, as you guys are wandering over, that's not Dremel Vangabus. It's the guy with the top hat and the other guy. So many guys with top hats. Right? It's hard to keep track of all of them. Yeah. Okay. Man in front of the haunted mansion with a dark robe and a long, slick hair. Top hat, we know. No, no top hat.

His fingers are steepled in front of him, standing next to a dapper man in a top hat. Okay, wait. What are his nails like? Oh, good question. Perfectly manicured. Long, sharp. Serial killer. Yeah, right? Fuck this guy. Jesus. Yeah. This guy's a serial killer. Tuck says to the guy. I hear moot whisper in, and then I'm like, yeah, you're right. This guy is a serial killer. He presses his hand to his chest, and he goes, what? Me? A serial killer? Look, he's even got this serial killer accent.

I can assure you, fine folks, we are not serial killers. Why have you trapped us here? Where's the way out? I know not what you mean. You are not trapped. You have merely come to take advantage of an opportunity. I have no opportunity. Yeah, we already had the free cider. Ah, well, then there is a second opportunity. I had the Bloomin' Onion, man. The batter was quite wet. The guy said, let me fry it for you, and I said, no need, my friend. So it is a raw onion with a lot of wet beer back.

Tuck, you look over, and Tuck's beard is like caked. Just in dirt. Like cemented to your face. Now it's beard batter. What? It's beard batter. Oh, sorry. The man with the top hat leans in to what you can presume is the nephew and says, but why did we choose these people? It was not a choice, my good man. It was an opportunity presented to many. Anyone brave enough to take it has the chance of a lifetime. Unfortunately, few have taken that chance. So we are forced to accept whoever arrives.

Whoever arrives. I, Dremel, Dremel, I have to ask, why do you not just take your uncle's estate? Ah, my uncle, the Count Murfew Vengabus was a troubled man. He had many aspirations, which saw to his early end. I, myself, Dremel Vengabus, a lesser noble in the Vengabus family. I am wealthy beyond your wildest dreams, but what I love more than money. Is a spectacle. And so gross. From behind the nephew, two symbols clash together. Confetti cannon. Please tell them the rules of tonight.

Well, first you must enter the haunted house. Okay. Then you must spend the night in the haunted house. Okay. Uh-huh. Then, if you make it, you win. What was it they win? All of it? The haunted mansion. The haunted mansion. As well as the riches contained within. Yeah, hold on. This is a real estate situation. Like, okay, are we in a pocket dimension or does this mansion actually exist somewhere? I don't want a fucking house. I got to take up. The upkeep of this thing is going to be absolutely.

It's in the middle of a forest. I mean, come on. That guy over there, he will clean it for you. Ah, so it's more like a vacation home. Okay. Yeah, there's a guy with horn-rimmed glasses and a full-on janitor's jumpsuit and a mop and he's panting really hard and he gives you a thumbs up. Yeah, I'm going to clean the shit out of this place. Don't you worry. It comes with it. You know what? Why don't you just give the mansion to this guy? He's the hardest working guy in your crew.

He's working so hard. Yeah, small one. I have a question. What is the house haunted? Oh, that's a great question. Great question. The ghost. Thank you. I mean, not the ghost. No, the mansion is haunted by ghosts. Okay, that was kind of a given. That's it. That's it. Thank you, Edmund. But like, what kind of ghosts? Just a sort of general ghost. Ah, fuck this guy.

Edmund, as you've said, whoever stays one full evening inside my uncle's mansion receives the entire state as well as the inheritance contained and the riches contained within. Can we Spout Lore on the ghosts? Yeah, totally. You can Spout Lore about this whole situation. All right. So 2d6 plus intelligence, which is none of your strong suits. None. One. And one. Woo! You roll like me. Jessica. You guys can roll dice too, you know. Yeah, you know what though? I don't understand this game.

Oh, yeah. So I'm just gonna RP the shit out of this. That's the thing. Literally, if you tell me, just tell me something you wanna do. Okay. And I will tell you what move that is. And then you will roll it and I will tell you what happens after that result. Excellent. So I will just explain it to you as we go. Nice. So if your character has something they would like to achieve, let me know and we'll figure it out. You are so much more accommodating than Russ is gonna be.

I'm so sorry for your players. You know, I didn't wanna say anything, but… He's gonna make you play D&D. Okay, good to know. Thanks, Sean. Yeah. So yeah, actually, great question. So Moot, Glim, Sully, anything you wanna try and figure out while we're here? Not yet. Okay. I'm gonna wait till it's D&D before I start rolling things. No. Wait till we're on my home tour. And the minute we step through the door, is it gonna become D&D? D&D town? Pretty quick. Damn it.

The way it's gonna work is I'm gonna do the initial chunk of the house and then we'll switch and then Russ will take it home. Yeah, I think that sounds good. Unless we dick around on the front steps for a while. That's right. Unless we sample cider at like every booth in the hall. When he hears you say that, the guy in the janitor's outfit is like, please, no. He starts unzipping like real sad. He's just chugging a Gatorade trying to replenish his stomach. He does electrolytes.

He does a line of halfling white powder. All right. Okay, hold on. You said we're not trapped in here. No. But you've taken out the exits. No. I do not know what you speak of. We did nothing. You guys want to stay in the haunted house? I mean, you guys look like a bunch of accomplished, you know, useful weirdos. Yeah. Oh, sorry. I'm talking to my, the Sully moot and glim here. Oh, sorry. Yes, we will. We will go converse in the foyer.

They both sweep up the staircase, which I should say, they're talking about this place as if it's a grand palace, but it is very much a wooden painted facade of a mansion. I mean, you guys look like you can handle yourself. We know that we're down for whatever. What do you, like what? They're not letting us go. They're not giving us any information. Let's just sleep in this haunted mansion. Yeah. And then, okay. So, I mean, let's say we all come out alive. Well, yeah. Let's say that. Well, yeah.

No, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying it. Let's assume, let's assume we're all going to make it out alive. Are we going to work this thing like a timeshare or like? Yeah. How do we split the money? I mean, our daily rate is five gold coins a day. Yeah. Plus dental. So. So as long as we come out with at least that much, I think we're fine. 15 gold for the night. And then you guys can take the rest. I mean, your math is confusing, but okay. I mean, it doesn't.

Uh, hey, Hey, uh, Butler, whoever you are. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Uh, how, how many coins are in the prize bag in the inheritance? Well, I mean, did we count the coins? Uh, no, there's a, there, there's a vault. Uh, there's a paintings. There's a. So it's not just one bag with a dollar sign on it. No, no. We kept everything. Can I ask a related question? Yes. I don't really care about like worldly goods. I'm wondering if there's any sort of like pure of heart reason why we would be doing this.

Like, do the ghosts need to be free to go on to the great beyond or like any sort of. Sure. Oh, I mean, okay. Then I'm, I'm totally in. What do you guys think? I mean. Why did you put a facade up? I, I don't know what you mean. This is the, this is the mansion of count. The Murphy. You think of us? If, uh, if one of you want to, wants to maybe learn something about the situation. You can go ahead and roll a discern reality. I want it. I want to roll. All right. I want to discern reality.

So discern realities is 2d six plus your wisdom modifier. Of course. Russ gave me negative one. I mean, I did this sheet myself and I have a zero Tom. Let's just a quick check in on wisdom for our characters. Uh, wisdom got a solid zero. I made the match your D and D characters. Okay. Uh, I rolled a six minus one, six minus six minus one total. Yeah. Uh, that's a five and that's a failure.

So go ahead and take a point of experience that will, uh, evaporate into thin air at the end of our crossover. I was going to say, I don't even know where to put it on my sheet. Just put a check Mark there. And, uh, as you are trying to like, you're like kind of looking at everything, like something seems even more off about this place. Um, you're just like, nah, they've really, they've really got it together. I don't know. I don't know why, but this seems legit to me. Guys, I'm on board.

I don't know what it is about this place. Is it the facade gives me those, you know, nostalgic feelings of the way that fairs were when parents would probably take children there or something like that. We should definitely go inside. I agree. Let's go. Can we just walk? Like I start going up the there's steps. Hey. Yeah. There's like, there's front steps. It's about, you know, like 30, 40 steps. It's nothing huge. Uh, I mean, it seems like a lot of steps. There's a lot of stairs.

There you go, Billy. And, uh, something you notice as you're going up these steps is they're certainly moving a lot. Like they're definitely like, rickety as hell. Yeah. They feel like they're kind of bouncing a little bit as you're going up and the closer you get, you start hearing like, I don't know what you're doing. Cause Zoom's Yeah. Zoom did not want you to make that noise. Okay. Then you're kind of hearing this, like, like, wind. Wow. So can you stand?

It's so breezy up here from inside the house. It's definitely feels like it's coming from like the, basically the entryway, like Billy, Tuck and Bing, you're more familiar with this kind of technology. As you get closer to the front door, you see kind of like in a potted plant next to the doorway, you see another music bottle, like jammed in the dirt. And then you see a little bit of a cork off, and that's definitely where this like, wind sound is coming from. Can I take it? I want it.

Okay, sure. I'm taking the wind. We'll stay the night, but I'm taking the wind. You can just jam a cork in there and then, the wind sound stops completely. Right. Tuck steals the potted plant too. Great. So now you're just carrying- I mean, it's all going to be ours- Yup. At the end of the night, right? That's a positivity I love. That's a positivity I love.

And as you get up to the doorway, you hear like, creak, and the doors swing inward, revealing the yawning portal of the entryway to the mansion of Count Murphy Vengabus. Is it an actual portal? No, it's a doorway. Oh, okay. Can I discern realities? Yep, absolutely. One of you is going to get to discern realities eventually. Okay. Five failed. Jesus fucking Christ. Okay. It's dark in here. Yeah, it is. The three of you. Okay. So the three plus three, the six. I'm used to saying the three.

The six of you walk through the doorway, and as you get inside, you're struck by the deep gloom inside the entryway. And once the last of you steps through, the doors slam shut behind you. Boom. And complete pitch black darkness. And after a few seconds, a light starts to rise in the room, and you see, you know, one of those like double stairways that goes up to like a second floor door. You see one of those. You see a table covered in candelabras. Covered in candelabras. How many candelabras?

Give us one of these. Many menorahs? A table absolutely sagging under the weight of the candelabras that sit atop it. You see bookcases. You see a bookcase. You see a bookcase. You see a grandfather clock. Paintings on the wall. Two rooms to either side of you. And all of this is lit by what very much seems to be a series of black lights. Black lights? Wow. Yeah. Like there's white cobwebs on everything, and they're glowing bright under the light.

And there's like sticky spiders all over the place. Like plastic green glowing spiders. I'm starting to have the feeling that maybe this is a movie. Maybe this place isn't haunted at all. Yeah. Billy's gonna go. I'm going over to the cobwebs, and I start wrapping myself up in them. I'm like, dibs. I have this for my blanket. Billy, you don't even realize they're cobwebs, because you just grab them, because they look so soft. And it feels like the softest cotton.

Maybe a little artificial, but just such soft, like spun cotton. That's nice. And you get a little plastic spider. There's a little plastic spider wrapped up in it, too. Nice. So yeah, what do you all do? Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! In response, you hear, Hello. Show yourself. Leave this place now before it's too late. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you there, ghost. It's okay. I left a long enough gap between my initial ooh and when I started speaking. I just wasn't sure of you.

I'm gonna continue. But now, again, you must leave this place, place, place. Do you have like unfinished business we could help with? Or I'd really like to set your soul free. In life, I was a great, um… Fuck. This is what it actually sounds like. In life, I was an influential… Oh, fuck. Carpenter. I was a carpenter. And I was… As I constructed a home for my beloved and I to live in, I was crushed by a support beam. And that is my tragic backstory. That's really like a multiple person job.

I agree. It was not up to code. I mean, I'm willing to help whoever, but like between us, that doesn't really… Just like a safety standard issue, more than like a tragic backstory. But I mean… I mean, even if you really think about it, it's not something you can help me with. Instead, perhaps help me with this task. Ooh. Inside this room contains our three keys. The hands. The hands. Jazz hands. I know. I only see the one hand. So it's just… You start to… You start to…

At the top of the staircase behind the banister, you start to see a couple hands pop up doing like these twiddly fingers. That's some spirit fingers you got going on there. Inside this chamber, these chambers, three are contained keys. Also three required to unlock the door behind me. So there are three keys in each room or one key in each of the three rooms? Yes. Yes. Oh my God. That's not the same number. Moose, does that math add up to you? I don't even know what's going on.

All I know is this guy liked to party. Find the keys if you wish to continue or your fate shall be sealed like mine. And then it stands up behind the banister at the top of the staircase, glowing bright white. The brightest blinding white is a white sheet of a white sheet of white. And then it's like, I don't know what's going on. I don't know. It's a white sheet with holes cut in the eyes and two hands underneath. Doing this movement, this twiddly kind of sixties dance move.

I want to go- Find the keys- No, please go you first. I'm so sorry. No, please. I've done my thing. It's now your turn. I want to go up the stairs and just see how many keyholes are up there. Cause I don't know if we're looking for six keys or three keys. No, don't. Don't come back. Come up the stairs. Not yet. Can I dash up there and grab off his blanket? You certainly can. Okay. Try. So 2d6 plus dexterity. That'll be a defy danger.

I'm going to try and throw my spear and take the blanket off of him and just put the spear in the wall behind him. Not to the man, but you know. That's okay. No, no, no, no, no, no. But what you're saying is a thing that would be extremely difficult to do. The other thing that you would do, likely, is throw a spear into a man. Uh, whatever. He's a ghost. Yeah. He's a ghost, Sean. Ghosts can't feel spears. Yeah. And I said that. Oh, a ghost, eh? All right.

I don't think you know much about ghosts. Ghosts can't feel spears, Sean. Ghosts are impervious to spears. But they can lift sheets. We all know that. That's the thing. Everybody knows about ghosts is they're impervious to spears. I'm going to spear it. Okay. 2d6 plus. Spear. Plus your dexterity. Nice. My dexterity is 2, I think. Yeah. I got 9 in total. Okay. Use a little aid here. So I don't spear a man who's clearly not a ghost. Actually, let's see.

So aid in Dungeon World is you roll 2d6 plus your bond, which is another stat that Dungeon World has reflecting how close people are. I'm going to give you, I'm just going to say everybody's got a plus 1 in this because you've been palling around. You're in a situation now. We've been drinking together. Yeah, exactly. So if one of you wants to aid Ving in his spear throwing, tell me how you do it and then we will roll. I will go behind him.

I don't know how tall you are, but this is going to be awkward. I go behind him and like, like put my hand on his hand and like guide the spear. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right, so 2d6 plus bond, which will be plus one. So that's a 2d6, Amy. Ooh, that's a nine plus one is 10. Yes! Whoa! Finally! That makes it a plus 10. Thank you, Sully!

And that is a perfect aid. You're fitting right into the Spout Lore. No, you. So through the absolutely borderline sensual guidance of Sully, Ving, your spear flies true. And as the hands are raising up, creating sort of like a, you know, a bridge between the hand and the top of the head in the spear, your spear catches right in that shoulder area, ripping the sheet fully off. And you see a human body duck down beneath the banister and go, what are you doing? And then they go, huh?

And you hear somebody stumble through the back door. The doors at the top of the staircase swing open for a second and then slam shut. Seems like we don't need. We don't need any keys, so. You hear a, you hear a wonk and like a crackle. And then a voice seems to emanate from the room itself. It goes, just find the keys. It's totally normal to do that. I thought we were just supposed to sleep in this house. Yeah. There's slightly more to the situation. There always is.

Yeah, I wanted to go upstairs, but as I do, I want to play the game. Slightly. And I want to initiate trap expert. Oh, perfect. Yes. A trap expert is 2d6 plus dexterity. Okay. That's a seven. Okay. So you get one point of hold, which you can spend on trap expert to ask one of those questions. Okay. What else is hidden here? Ah, brilliant. You start like walking towards the staircase and you're looking around like this place is fucking weird.

And as you start walking towards the staircase, you see the grandfather clock has two regular clock hands, but one of the hands looks very strange. Oh, I go up to it. Is it a key? It's a key. Hey guys, I found a key. Wow. Oh, wow. Only two or five to go. One or the other. I guess if we're going to also play the game, I need to do quest, which means I dedicate myself to this mission. Oh, is Bahamut going to be jealous? No, no. Cause I do this by commuting with Bahamut.

I pull up that tool, keep the letter and I'm like, Bahamut, come on man. Just like help me out a little bit. We're staying in this place or maybe we're finding keys. I don't really know like exactly what the situation is. Something about a bad support beam. Either way, if you could just like do me a solid and get us through this, that would be dope. I forgot about quest. This could be a real, real problem for me. Oh, that's okay. I don't know how it works. So quest here's, this is fun.

We've never had a paladin in the game and our game is very low magic. So this is an interesting move. The paladin has the move quest. When you dedicate, actually, you know what, Carla, why don't you read it out? Sure. When you dedicate yourself to a mission through prayer and ritual cleansing, state what you set out to do. So I have some options with some blanks, slay blank, defend blank from blank, discover the truth of blank, which is maybe more what we're doing here. Yeah.

Then choose up to two boons, an unwavering sense of direction to blank invulnerability to pick one, a mark of divine authority senses that pierce lies. I don't even know what that means. It's very poetic though. A voice that transcends language, freedom from hunger, thirst, and sleep. So Carla's about to just end the game. I was going to say, anytime you need to pull the rip cord, just say, and now it's dungeons and drag.

I'm feeling it's about to, it's about to end, but cause I, there's one I'm looking at that's just like, well, yeah. Okay. So what do you, what would you choose for your two boons? Um, I don't care about freedom from hunger, thirst, and sleep. I mean, there's so much free cider, right? Exactly. I still have a lot of blooming onion with me. Yeah. Things looking, talks beard in a platonic way. Oh yeah. Open mouth though.

Uh, I probably want senses that Pierce lies and probably an unwavering sense of direction to keys. Yep. That'll do it. That'll do it. Wow. No wonder you never showed us this move before. Sorry. I shouldn't have read the sheet. Maybe that was your first mistake. Maybe I've ruined everything. An unwavering sense of direction to keys. God damn it. Uh, so, yeah, you pray to Bahamut. You say, Hey Bahamut, I'm in a haunted house. Can you help me out? Then you hear the voice of Bahamut in your ear.

That's like been there. No problem. And your eyes take on the sites in a new light and you see just how fucking shabby this place is for the first time. The craft in this place is of middling to poor quality. It's all covered with like an overabundance of Halloween ish. Decorations and the black light makes things scarier than they would look normally because it's all like plywood and paint. You look over at tuck and he's eating a bowl of peeled grapes. That's the eyeballs on the side.

The witch's eyeballs. Yeah. Oh, these are just grapes. Fuck. I wanted these to be eyeballs. That would have been so metal. Yeah. Billy's like arm deep in a bowl that says brains, but it's just spaghetti. Yeah. I'm really going to town even though I'm really full. So, I'm panting. I'm also panting a lot. Gotta make room for all this. Be a hero, Billy. Be a hero. I'm just like talking to myself, talking myself up. Try and make myself feel better about this haunted night we're going to have.

That's what heroes do. Yeah. And your eyes are drawn. Bahamut whispering in your ear. Hey, go to the dining room. He's just playing hot and cold. He's like, warmer, warmer, colder, colder. No, that's exactly what's happening. Bahamut doesn't get a lot of prayers that involve haunted houses. So, he's into this one. Pretty good time. Yeah. Go to the dining room. Yeah. I'm just going to, I'm just going to head into the dining room. I got a bit of a feeling.

Bahamut's kind of giving me some key vibes. Okay. From in there. All right. So, where do you think it is? There's, I'm going to pull out the chair at the head of the table. Oh, you're close. Okay. And then kind of duck under the table. No, cold, cold. Oh, oh. Cold. I pull out each chair and look at the seat. As you get closer to the middle of the table, where the table settings are, there's like a serving dish in the middle with like the silver, like kind of lid.

And Bahamut's like, hot, hot, burning hot. So fucking, it's right. It's, you're so close. You're so close. And I lift it up. Ta-da. There it is. And there's a key underneath. I like the Bahamut's coming to you as like a surfer dude. It's kind of right. This is. Bahamut. No spoilers, but this is what every dragon we've ever met has sounded like. So this is. Fair enough. This is as close as I've gotten. I love it. And yeah, so Glim has found another key under the serving dish. That's two keys.

And Bahamut is also like, look, let's just fucking speed run this. There's, go to the library. Okay. Library. Let's go. I feel like we're all following behind her. Yeah. Yeah. We're bored. I'm just like, Oh God, I'm fingers rolling as hard. So he's shape-shifting his eyes to roll so hard. See, I told you guys about him. It was so cool. Just go to the library and here you go. Look, where do you think it is? Oh, nevermind.

And, uh, Bahamut seeing through your eyes, sees a ghost, a sheet ghost sitting on a chair with a cup of cider in its hand with like the sheet lifted up and you can see a mouth underneath. And then it looks like, oh, everybody goes, Oh fuck. Ooh. Got this asshole again. It's, uh, another. Is it Dremel? Do we recognize him? No, you actually don't recognize the face underneath. Is this Tillium Yup? There's no way to know for sure. That's a yes. And Bahamut's like, uh, that dude just has the key.

Oh, um, excuse me. Excuse. Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Could just have, I mean, maybe, maybe you forgot to hide it or something. Like I won't tell your boss or anything. It's totally fine. Like just. No, the keys are, are hidden amongst the. Oh fuck. Yeah. Shit. Could you turn around for a second? Yeah. Yeah. Totally.

Totally. Yeah. All six of us turn around like, I'll leave this guy's dignity a little bit, I guess. And can Tuck do the look behind again? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. He does another one of these. Oh, God. We got to watch him go through this whole thing. False start. False start, everyone. No, he wants to look extra hard. Oh, my God. Tuck, as you're turning around, stretching your eyelids open so you can see extra hard, you hear a quick shuffling.

And as you turn back, you see the ghost twiddling its hands. So much. Of course it hurts, Abdul. You're stretching your eyes out. I cannot look. Oh, my God. You look like a vizier. You look like a vizier. Abdul, we're trying to make a good impression. You look like Jafar. You look like Jafar. He's locked into it now. He can't look. No. Give me your secrets, ghost man. Give me your secrets. Someone patted him on the back when he was doing this. Now he's stuck like this.

His eyes are going to fall out if you hit him too hard. No. I hope he doesn't sneeze. Oh, my God. It hurts. Shit. I know. It's hurting my heart. I can't. Abdul. I can't look at it. You got to stop, dude. I hate this. Now say, seek thee out the diamond in the rough. Just say it. The diamond in the rough. It is. Why, it's the vizier. Why, that would be me. Okay, Jossie. Jossie's going to get us. Stop it. I'll show you just how snake-like I can be. There is a… Someone fucking screeched.

I already did. It's already… Oh, my God. Imagine that made me go blind. So, as when you turn around, Tuck, after you hear a quick shuffling, you turn around and you see the ghost standing next to the bookcase, twiddling its hands, and one of the books is like halfway out of the shelf. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's like, wherever could the third key be?

Tuck walks up and smashes up the shelf with his axe and grabs the book. The ghost jumps to the side to avoid the cascade of books that you knock off the shelf. Oh, you found the third key. I found it. It's in this copy of Love and Lust. Congratulations. Now, continue on into the mansion you made. Yay. We do. Yeah, and we're all, goodbye. See you later. And this ghost ducks out the door behind him and slams it shut.

And when you go out into the foyer, there's another ghost standing at the top of the staircase. Well done. Now, through this door, you can walk deeper into the mansion of Count Murphy Vangerbosch. Is his sheet ripped? It's a little ripped. But they're standing right in front of him. They're standing right in front of you as you get to the top of the stairs. Congratulations. What now will you do? You gotta, you're like, right. If we could just scooch. We're just gonna.

And we awkwardly, like, walk too close to you around you. It's like, do I go, like, on the front? Or do I go in the back? Is it back to back? Is it front to front? I don't know. As you're walking through, Tuck, you step on the sheet. Like, full on. Just right on top of the sheet. Yeah. And there's a book. A bit of a, oh, whoa. And the sheet comes fully off. And there's no one there. What? Well, that was pretty cool. And that's where we're gonna end it for this week.

I've been your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian of Dual Aziz. And Tuck is eating, like, the grapes. And he's like, no, fuck it. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Hoppers. He's like, Ving's really scared. And he puts the blanket that he got, like, over his head. Like, hold on. Hold it up. Like, oh, my God. He's a ghost. Playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. And Billy got so scared that he fell all the way down the stairs.

And he's gonna have to climb back up. Oh, no. And playing Nerexius Acra, a.k.a. Glim, the Dragonborn Paladin, Carla Maxted. And Glim's like, kisses her hands and kind of puts them to the sky. Like, thanks, Bob. I'm mad. I knew you'd have your girl. Playing Sullivan Slight, the Halfling Rogue, Amy. Sully walks up to the door, looks at it, and goes, I could just pick these lots. It's, like, not a problem. Why the hell? Playing Moot, the Half-Orc Sorcerer, Tom Laird.

Moot picked up the Forgotten About Spaghetti and is just going to town on it. And joining me is Mr. Edmund Tour, manservant to Dremel Murphy, Russ Moore. Edmund's sitting in a back room somewhere being like, I thought we planned a haunted house. Well, Dungeons and Dragons. Dungeons and Dragons is going to be very different. And that is it for this half of the Dungeons and Dragons slash Spell Lord crossover.

If you want to check out the other half and see how the haunted mansion of Count Murphy Vengabus ends, head over to Dungeons and Dragons for the rest of the adventure. We'll see you next time. Ha ha ha! And so ends the tale of Adventures Three, who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be, for time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more.

Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly spell Lord. Hey Spellorians, Abdul here with an end of episode reminder that if you want to get over to the Dungeons and Dragons feed to hear the rest of their episode, the link is in the show notes. Thanks so much for listening everybody. Goodbye.

Hey, Tuck here. We're running low on funds because Billy dropped our fanny pack into the ocean and that had all our money in it. Please go to patreon.com slash speltlore to donate more money to us so that we can replace the fanny pack. Also, mirrors. We need to buy new mirrors. Where did we get that guy?

You know them by name, you know them by deed Their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you An adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home He loves to sing and fight Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape And wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size Does max the largest heart Best and brightest, they may not be But they're free to be Friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round, friends And listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Speltlore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, Abdul Aziz. Hello. Paul Oppers. Hello. And Jessica Tai. Hello. Merry Christmas, everybody. Yeah. Here I am. Happy Christmas. And Charlie. Get ready for the war on Christmas. Welcome to our Charles Eve Spectacular. Spe-spe-spe-spe-spe-spectacular. Oh, cut that out. Spectacular. Welcome to what we're calling Charles Eve at Hither and Yon. Today we're going to be playing Stew Pot by Takuma Okada.

Stew Pot is a storytelling game in the Firebrands family of role-playing games about adventure games. It's about adventurers that have hung up their weapons, laid down their shields, put their spell books on the shelf. More of those. Taken their small vial of poison and put it with their larger vials of poison. Had a dagger and put it under their pillow.

Forsaken their god and taken their nine millimeter Beretta handgun and put it in a carved out Bible that they hide in their house for when vampires come. To run a fantasy tavern together. Uh, Stew Pot, previously available on Ish.io very excitingly, is going to be published in the future by Evil Hat. That's very exciting. Cool. Crowdfunding campaign will come in the future at some point, I believe sometime in the new year.

But thanks to Takuma Okada for sending me the, uh, most recent playtest documents. Really appreciate that. Oh, really nice. Yeah, very, very kind. Nice. So today, that is what we'll be doing. We're going to be playing a little Stew Pot. It's a pretty chill storytelling game. Game comprised of a number of mini games with different kinds of scenes and scene work. First things first, we're going to build the tavern. Ooh. But we already know what the tavern is. Oh, yeah. So let's just remember it.

Yes. There are a couple things I need to write down. So we will. Thanks, Jessica. I am doing my best. Hither and Yon is a bar slash inn that exists in many places. Yeah. It chooses where it goes based on criteria that no one should know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That no one is privy to. Who built the inn? Nobody knows. Was it a wizard? Nobody knows. There's nothing in it in its make or like structural signature that maybe we'll find out, but not now. Did Mears find out?

Does he control where it goes? We're genuinely about to play a game that may or may not answer these questions, so I refuse to answer them for you. Wow. Okay. I mean, whatever. We're all taking notes of that. Okay, Sean. Okay. It's sus. Huge dick energy. Kind of sus. Gonna just do this. I'm trying a long dick. Why is the head so big and the ball so small? Wait, what happened? That looks backwards. It does. Does that giant dick have a tiny pussy on it?

This is gonna be our holiday special with the most bleeps by far. Why'd you put Sean? Because of your big dick energy. So yeah, like the location is the first thing you're supposed to write down and the location of Hither and Yon is many and none. So the next thing is the look. What do you guys remember Hither and Yon looking like? Wood. Yeah, it's like an old style cozy tavern. There was a big leather couch in front of a fireplace. Yeah. Everything's pretty shabby. Yeah.

Because it is a place that has not been visited very much. Dusty furs. Yes. Yeah, dusty furs, barrel tables. Plaid. Plaid what? Just, just, just, just, just, just, just stuff like fabric. I don't know, like a blanket. Like a lot of tartan? Yeah. Maybe some of the chair covers? Seat covers? Oh yeah, totally. I imagined velvet. Was there any like red velvet anywhere? There are some red velvet, like it's a hodgepodge. Yeah, I think it's a hodgepodge of stuff. Oh, I love that.

And then it's got, it's like right when you come in, the bar's right across from the door. That's how I was imagining it. There's like a heavy wood bar, classic mirror behind it. Then it's got the kitchen and then a storage room and then, stairs that go up. I have very low ceilings in my head. It's not a lofty place. It looks like it was built to be compact. I like that. It has more rooms up top. Stone floor. Are we right there? I'm imagining cobbly.

Candles and little sconces or whatever they are. Sconces everywhere. Carpets? I think a hodgepodge of rugs. Yeah, I like that. I was imagining also some of the tables. I know you said barrel tables but also some of them were like those giant wheels that they spool. Oh, like cable spool tables. Yeah. With big ropes or cables and then it's like flat and then a tube and then flat on top. Yeah, giant spool tables everywhere.

Okay, so there are three ratings that the tavern has that we will work to upgrade if we so choose. The first one is cuisine. Your cuisine rating determines your tavern's ability to make food. It's not just cooking ability but includes aspects of preparation, like food storage and how easy it is to do business with suppliers. So all of these ratings start at one. Okay. So the first rating one cuisine, a cramped kitchen, a small pantry, cheap local wines, a small brick oven.

So it's like, you know, when we arrive at Hither and Yon, no one has run this place regularly for God knows how long. Oh God, so cool. Yeah. So everything's dusty, busted, whatever food and spices is here is like there's maybe super old liquor, but there's no good food. Yeah. And like five different bags, little various amounts of cumin. Yeah, exactly. And which one's the oldest one? It's impossible to tell because cumin stays good forever. Yeah.

I feel like a real Sam Malone type ran this before and then he hung his hat up and left it forever. Exactly. Yeah. Atmosphere. Your atmosphere rating determines a broad range of visual and other aspects of your tavern. It's the vibe, the feeling, the experience that your patrons get. So again, our atmosphere rating is one, which in the book is straw mattresses, narrow chimneys, bare walls. It's a dusty place. Yeah. Everything's old. Nothing's been maintained. Everything's moth eaten. Yeah.

Hanging out here kind of sucks right now. Yeah. Yeah. And then the next rating is service. Your service rating is a measure of how well your tavern operates. So the only staff right now are mirrors and Francis. Okay. And then your guys as PCs will filter in, but that's as much as we've got for service to start with. So there's a bunch of little games that we can choose and we each get to choose one and play it. Yeah. It's kind of like fiasco where we establish each of us gets to establish.

It is. Yeah. That is a good way to think about it. It's very much like fiasco in that way. Cool. Okay. So to start, we're going to go around and describe everybody, everybody's characters. For example, I am playing mirrors Bernadette Falsmith. My weapon is a simple wood, wood handled long sword. My armor is a heavy cloak and my quirk is I'm a nervous little guy. Adventure job, swashbuckler adventure experiences are duelist.

I'm a master of the blade in the rigging for climbing and acrobatic feats and sea legs to balance on any surface. And my town job is a chef Abdul. Okay. I'm going to be playing a nimble name, nimble thimble. I've decided his last name is thimble. We're doing the rhyming. My quirk is nimble is going to live forever. My armor is kindness slash a clipboard and my weapon is my wicked smarts in this knife. My adventure job was rogue and my town job is merchant.

I can try and sell a lot of stuff and then my experiences are grace nimble fingers and sixth sense. Perfect Paul. My character is Rathgar the night blade Gathgar. Everybody's getting a rhyming last name. I'm just going to add Gathgar. Excellent. My adventure job is wizard. My town job is a scholar. My weapon is a magic Leatherman and armor is a blue velvet Coke hook. Oops. It's a blue velvet coat full of pockets of Coke Coke.

My armor is a blue velvet cloak with star sewn on it and lying eyebrows and my quirk is that I'm a braggart. I'm faking it till I'm making it. My experiences are a Valinda star veil. I'm putting her down experiences. My childhood crush and high school sweetheart and then first a ex-wife. You got married in high school. We got married at our graduation. Yeah, it was a really confusing grad ceremony.

We did a we did a flash mob wedding at our grad ceremony and my experiences are organic and prestidigitation and magic missile. Yeah, and I think did you say that you were an organic and not an actual wizard? No. Okay, that's how you're playing it though, right? I'm playing it that he's like actually a trickster with all these little gadgets. That's his Leatherman is basically his magic wand. Yeah, yeah, perfect. Yeah, Jessica. Okay.

I am playing Fathom the hammer a dom and my weapon is a tetherball on chain. Nice. The armor is basically like a fantasy track suit. What makes it fantasy? It's like kind of just drapey and like made of like, I don't know linen. Yeah. Yeah. It's got the elastic band around the waist. So everything's tight. Yeah. Quirk.

He's a mean himbo slash like some construction worker energy adventure job fighter and adventure experiences are intimidation, brute strength and legendary weapon, which refers to his tetherball and chain because he won. He I think won that in a tetherball competition slash he like stole it. Yeah. Um, okay. I like that. He stole it. I like that too. You won the World Cup of tether. He did, but he stole the tetherball and they're like, you're not supposed to take that.

Um, his town job is a crafter, specifically ceramics. I love it. Yeah. Perfect. And that is the character. So now we will play the game. The way the game works is it's a series of scene based like mini games. The first of which is always called the first step before you decided to put down roots here before you found this group of friends. What were you doing? So I'll, I will go first. By way of introduction to the scene, the door closes. Mirrors stands in hither and yon.

The party has just left on their adventure to recover Perel from the eye of the storm. Whoa, that's soon. Yeah. Wow. Small boy in the middle of a large room. Uh, Francis, the pig still going to town on something in the fireplace on a pot of leftover chowder that Billy helped him make the night before. And he's just kind of standing there. He's got his his metallic hand gripped in his other hand. Just like, uh, huh? Okay, there's like creaking in a yeah, another floor.

You hear like a like howling and like like laughter and screaming from high, high up a thunder crack in a boom as chimes. We know calls the attention of the storm away from the party as they escape the tower. Oh, and mirrors. Dust falls from the rafters onto his head. He's like, uh, uh, uh, okay. And he just goes to the kitchen and he starts messing around with stuff, you know, safe place. Yeah, he's like digging around. He's looking at all these old herbs. He's picks ones up, smells it.

No, that's old. This is all this is any digs. Uh, it looks like an herb has fallen out of a jar onto some sort of like wet patch of dirt and has like rooted and grown into like some little leaves of something. Oh, it's like, oh, okay. He sniffs those and starts just whipping up something in the kitchen for him and Francis. It's like it starts as a soup and it becomes something kind of hard and pasty because he doesn't have enough liquid to keep it soft in here.

And he sets down at the bar and puts a little bowl of the soup on the ground for Francis to start lapping up and just kind of enjoys the food by himself and tries to ignore the silence that he now hears only in the bar. And I'm going to take the town experience refined palate. Oh, a sense of taste second to none. Wow. I imagine we see like days pass as he like, you know, dust some stuff and like a rearranges some furniture to make it more comfortable.

And then one day suddenly the door opens and someone walks in. It's nimble. Oh, yeah. Nimble runs in nimble runs in and slams the door. Uh-huh. Back up against the door. Yeah. And you see like six guards run past. He was going to live forever. He whispers to himself. What do you what do you how did you who are those? What are you? Did you sail here? And he goes, ah, I thought this was an abandoned building. No. What?

And he mirrors comes out from behind the bar and kind of pushes nimble to the side and opens the door and sees the streets of crystal bag. He slams the door. He opens it again. A rebel in full slams the door. Did you what? This is usually like an empty building with a bunch of like disused bakery stuff in it. Hey, we're still fighting the boys. Yeah, you're getting there. And it was gonna live forever. That's how I find it again.

And yet he mirrors opens the door one more time and looks like to either side and it is a row of like empty warehouses. But hanging on the wall is one of those like chain and board signs that says hither and yon. Yeah, cute. And then he slams the door again. I know you know you don't you've never heard me before in my life or your life, which I'm going to take and then nipple pulls out of that. Hey, chill out. What are you? I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. Who are you? I'm nimble. Hey, come on.

Put the knife down. No, come on. Put the one of us is going to live forever. Mears reaches out with his metal hand and snatches the knife and nimble holds on to it and gets her picked up by the night. Hey, hey, hey, calm down. Just relax. I'm Mears. I'm going to put you down now. You're not going to stab me, right? Yes. You just looked really sideways at Jessica. I'm going to trust what you're saying is what I mean. And gently put you down. And then the book holds the knife for a second.

He squints his eyes and he goes, My name is nimble and I'm going to live forever. And if anyone says any different, they're fucking liars. Do you want something to eat? No. Yes. And we cut forward to the mere standing behind the bar like a real bartender vibe. And nimble is like relaying to me. I'm going to put you down. I'm going to put you down. I'm going to put you down. I'm going to put you down. I'm going to put you down.

And nimble is like relaying the events that happened to that day to get him to this point. Yeah. And he's going, So that's what an egg grift is. All right. You take a rotten eggs, you switch them out for good eggs, and then slowly you got a good dozen. And then you sell that good dozen for premium prices to the highest bidder. And that is a great way to spend a day making $12. And they're great. They're great eggs. You really did a good. The four of the eggs from the dozen are missing.

And it mirrors in a nimble or eating eggs. Yeah. There's like an egg carton on the counter. Yeah. You know, you got to re I'm, I mean, if you know how to get some more stuff, you know, this place is missing a lot of things. What kind of stuff are you talking about? And what kind of payment terms are we talking about here? Oh, you know, like produce and meats and vegetables. That's a kind of produce. If you didn't know spices, drinks, you know, the whole thing.

I figured if I'm going to be here for a while and apparently this place goes to where people need it, then it should probably have some stuff for people that come here. Okay. I can do that. What do you say? Partners. What do you say to being nimbles? Number two. Okay. All right. I'm thinking a title kind of like chief visioning officer. All right. I don't, I understand none of those words, but I, I respect that you probably do. Okay. Deal. Deal.

And he holds out the knife again for him to shake and he shakes it with his metal hand and nimble is going to get one of the experiences from merchant, I guess, network able to obtain anything. Perfect. Yeah. So at some point if we reach a narrative problem, you would be able to cross that off and find a line on something we really need. Okay. And then I think it's the same thing. I think a couple more days pass, maybe a week or two of Mears and nimble living in the bar. Think a few weeks. Yeah.

People filter in and out. Maybe it stays in crystal bay for a while. Then one day someone else wanders through the door. A polite knock at the door. Come in. Mears is behind the bar. The door is locked. Why is the door locked? He runs around. And then the door flies over the puff of smoke, sparks flying everywhere. Blue smoke. Oh my gosh. Oh, the door was locked. And then a knife flies through the air. And it beds into the doorframe next to you. And then you hear nimble from the back go, shit.

Nimble. Nimble. Welcome, traveler, to Hither and Yon. Is this the hiring agency? I was looking for the next big, beautiful opportunity for an agency to have Rathgar, the night blade Gathgar. And Mears takes the pamphlet that you're holding out that says, now hiring Hither and Yon. Big new opportunity. And he turns to Nimble and goes, Nimble, did you put these out? I maybe did. Okay. Mears is very notably to Rathgar, a 14 year old boy. I'd like to talk to the manager.

And then Nimble steps forward. No, no, no. Oh my God. I'm the manager, I guess. Innkeeper. Innkeeper. Ha ha ha. Tuffs his hair. Don't. Adorable. So he goes over to a table and sits down and like kicks a stool over to Rathgar. What are your qualifications? Um, hello. Boom. Ball of flame. Oh. Need I show you more? Uh, yeah. Yeah, okay. Okay. Have you ever heard of the flying bears of the Midwest north? No. Uh huh. I have. Uh huh. For it was I that gave them the gift of flight.

Wait, didn't they just get shot out of a catapult and die? Have you ever heard of the living forests of the underwater sea gardens? That I actually think I have heard of. I haven't heard of that. You are looking at the architect of the ocean itself. Okay. Uh, we got a door over there that is kind of squeaky. Uh huh. Have you ever heard of a leather man? Oh. Alright, now we're talking. It's on my belt. He goes over and pulls out a Phillips screwdriver. My talents are endless. Oh.

And your shit hole is forever broken. Alright, okay. Shit hole's maybe a little strong. But he moves the door a few times and it doesn't squeak anymore. Uh huh. Oh. Magic. Um. Do you want to work here? Work here? Yep. Alright. Work here. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Work here. You're hired. Work here? I think that you'll be working for me. Why does everybody keep saying that to me?

And then Nimble goes, I can offer you the position of Chief Operations Officer. I don't know those words and you're speaking to me young man, but I like your spunk. Your penaz. Your collie munkus. I will accept. Okay. Alright. Cool. He reaches out for the clipboard, assuming it's a contract. What's on the clipboard? Uh, Nimble is illiterate, so. It's a picture of a big dick with tiny balls. Yeah. What? There's an arrow pointing at it that says Nimble. Is this like a Rorschach?

Why does this drawing of a dick look like my parents fighting? And Paul is going to choose one from one of the experiences from Scholar. Invent your way out of a sticky situation. Jury your rigging. Okay. So, the game passes as, uh, Rathgar, Nimble, and Mears all settle into life. And then one day it gets kind of warm in the bar. I think one day we're like, why is it so, so hot? Yeah. Nimble's like, take, he's, he's removing layers. Yeah. And then someone comes through the door.

Why don't you get people keep knocking? Come in, babe. Babe, are you home? What the f- Mears goes over and opens the door. Babe! Whoa! Oh, my God. You're not babe. Who are you? I'm, I'm Mears. Who are you? Name's Fadum. What is this place? Oh, this is, uh, welcome to Hither and Yarn. Explosion of blue smoke. Crackle, uh, uh, uh, uh, like a, like a lights, a blinking light. Marquee. Oh yeah. The Hither and Yarn. Welcome. Thank you. Well, thank you for your patronage. Come in, kind sir.

Can we get you anything? You're welcome.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, kind sir can we get you anything yeah I'll have like a drink of whatever you got I'm just trying to work on my voice here and while you do that I'm just gonna go to the bathroom okay uh and uh mirrors starts pouring something from a keg and is like are we are we it's really hot out there and nimble goes outside and he comes inside with like a little cup of sand and he sips it and he's like we're not in crystal bay anymore oh uh you hear fathom come out without washing his hands are you okay you seem kind of stressed out you were looking for somebody looking for my girlfriend to be honest oh I don't know she and I had a fight pretty big fight I was just trying to fight for your honor and she was like you embarrassed me in front of everyone at tetherball oh yeah and I was like but babe you don't understand I was just trying to look out for you and then nimble's like what was the fight about I was I was fighting the other tetherball team they're making like some eyes at her and like some suggestive language and they're like yo your girlfriend is hot and I was like back off dude um and so I swung this bad boy and he picks up his his tetherball on the chain and he's I smacked it so hard I broke it I I I I I smacked a a bro on the chain and he's like I smacked it so hard I broke his jaw and this thing fucking flew off and I took it with me oh that's actually pretty sick thank you I understand I can relate I know a little thing or two about embarrassing yourself in front of people that you like go on oh there's this boy back in another town named cam he was really cool and my friends tried to help me uh impress him with like a big production ah production yeah and it ended with me raising my sword in the sky and declaring how cool I was yes and then the sword got stuck in a tree branch I fell off the cart oh that's fucking weak sauce man I hit my head pretty hard I got this thing and he like opens and closes his metal hand adam reaches over and he grabs it he's like that's fucking tight oh really oh yeah that's bad ass oh next time you see kim just show it off to him oh you think you think it's cool yeah all the chicks and dudes dig metal arms they fucking love that shit I guess last time I saw me it was a hook now it's like a hand yeah you could do way more with that thing you could do all kinds of hand stuff I can well you've been doing this job here for a while well too that is true you've really got the hand job down nibbles like yeah dude whatever kind of hand jobs you want to do with this chem guy I fully support you and if this magical traveling bar ends up anywhere near this guy we will facilitate the hand job that you want to give him I want I just want to be clear I'm 14 I'm a 14 year old I'm so scared of every word that you've said and I don't want to hear any more of them for now but um what did you say your name was rath car the night blade goes!

Nice to meet you yeah I'm fathom some people call me the hammer wow cool that's a cool name it's pretty cool my name's mirrors um most people just call me mirrors mirrors this is nimble nimble I might do a finger guns and this is rathgar cto nice to meet you you're looking for a job young man you know I never considered that but I mean after what I assume is like the most embarrassing thing I've ever done in my life I've never considered that but I mean I'm a little bit of like an avoidant attachment I'd love a job yeah yeah you know what you know maybe maybe if I just like split you know if I just leave town like a fucking ghost maybe my babe will be like oh my god where'd he go and she'll care about me again when I get back yeah maybe can't hurt to just run away from your problems can't hurt is what I always do and I like you guys and I like you and I like you and I like you and I like you and I like you and I like you and you fucking weird eye what's the deal with that oh this it looks almost magical he waves his hand over it and did anything happen a cartridge pops out of his sleep yeah a dead bird falls out of his arm all three of those things a deck of cards still wrapped in plastic a dead bird I could tell you about it but it might be a little traumatic for me you don't have to say anything you don't want to fathom a tale for another time you come on in I think I'll tell it now a man who both my friend and foe but mostly my foe from enemies to lovers to enemies most mostly enemies just saying lovers you know to make the story intense ed mears knows that tuck and fathom because he's heard the name fathom and tucks fear so he's like I will not say his name he beat me in a fight he fought dirty and you know I always thought I was a stronger one but he showed me through trickery no doubt I think so yes anyway when I return to this land I will deliver that revenge that he is so dearly owed and he punches the table that's better the table collapses oh sorry about that I could probably throw together a new one for you that yeah that's okay uh but mirrors realizes like at hearing this story he's like tuck and fathom knew each other and maybe he's talking about tuck does that mean tuck and billy and ving are here in this place that we're at and he gets up and he runs to the door and he throws it open and there's just grassy fields so this place moves around that's fucking sick I mean I guess that makes sense because I thought I thought you were like my girlfriend's friend and I'm like oh this is my girlfriend's apartment so I like that this place shows up when you need it and he was going to bust into his girlfriend's apartment when she didn't want him there and then it was like no no no you don't need that you need to to go chill out with these people learn who you really are was like don't don't don't do it we gotta catch this guy before he busted on his girlfriend having sex with another tetherball player and fathom is going to get a uh experience from crafter oh so you get one of those um repair fix anything with enough time nice cool time is on our side here and that is the end of the first steps oh now how this works is we go around now how this works is an 80s style opening theme starts nimble walks on the frame and goes welcome down to hither and yon where friends hanging out and running about we got mirrors hey nimble rap car too and introducing fathom yeah and then there's a the title thing goes hither and yon and it's all of us next to the bar and it appears in the air above us and then it flickers lifting it up yeah yeah flickers and then starts like fixing it he's been like beeping on like a calculator watch and then nimble goes okay that's great let's try it one more time everyone was flat everyone was flat somehow impossible I do not know how that's possible you call me flat in your dream you better wake up and apologize you're in my dreams every night but you're chasing me into a pile of rotten tomatoes that I'm trying to sell to an orphanage well I am maybe riding your ass a little hard but we I've seen your potential boy that was a little bit of gref uh so how the game works from here is that you're going to have to go to the bathroom and you're going to be a widz and a widz widz widz draw three cards from the deck to determine what the ingredients are.

And for each card, roll two six-sided dice to determine how large the ingredient source is and where it's from. So I am going to draw three cards. Those cards are the five of clubs for one ingredient. Next is the jack of clubs. Uh-oh, clubs heavy. And the last one is the four of hearts. So I need you guys to roll two dice each. 2d6? Yeah, 2d6. And then tell me what they are and then give them to me. I got a four and a one. Four and a one. I got a one and a two. One and a two.

I got a six and a five. And a six and a five. So the first one is a house-sized ingredient that we find underground. So I think what this is, is we've noticed as we've gone on and Hither and Yon has continued operation, I think we're in a weird… We've been in this kind of weird grasslands-y place for a while. So we haven't had any customers, except for maybe a passing shepherd once in a while that's been here. So we haven't had any customers. So we haven't had any customers.

So we haven't had a bar under this tumble of rocks in the middle of a field. So we're starting to run. We were stoked that day. We were getting stir crazy. And there was a thunderstorm. That's why he ran in under the rocks. Oh yes. So somebody comes in and we're like, oh, oh, oh, oh. And I'm digging around in the back and I'm like, guys, we don't have anything. We've got nothing. We just have like oats and like a paste of some, I think it was milk, but it's paste now.

We've got ingenuity and stick-to-itiveness and talent, endless talent. Let's go. Let's cook. And we, like the storage. Room door opens and there's like a cave. Oh shit. What the fuck? And inside is a large thing that we find underground and based on clubs. Clubs are fungi, lichens, and molds. Fragrant mushrooms, yeasts, bright green and orange slimes, dried lichen, etc. And it being a five means that it is an exoskeleton of some kind.

What do we find in this cave that is like an ingredient that is a house-sized exoskeleton? I was gonna say like a sourdough starter that got out of hand. Oh yeah. It has this delicious crust on it. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, we go down and we collect a bunch of bits of this like hardened sourdough starter that we find underground. And it's like what do you think you're doing? Sentient now? Yeah. I just need a little bit of this. Is this you? A please and thank you would suffice.

Look, I just, I'm in, I'm kind of stressed out. Can I just have some of this? You mean some of me? Yeah. What are you gonna do with me? I was gonna cook you in something. Excuse me? What? Uh, yeah, I don't have any adventure experiences that might help with this. Does anybody else maybe? I have no work. I'm able to obtain anything. And he slides down on the banister. Is there a banister? I mean, I guess there is now, yeah. Yeah.

He slides down on the banister and does a hand sprink and then lands in front of the guy and he's like, hey guy, what's up? Hey. What do you want to, why don't you want to give us some of your body? What are you talking about? All of a sudden, poof, I'm in this dark cave. I used to be a bread. I'm sorry, I take on the voice of where I'm talking to. That is the easiest thing to do. I just became, all of a sudden, I poofed into the darkness and now I'm white.

The first time I see someone coming downstairs, they want to cook me up for dinner. I didn't see my friend. How about you be my friend first? You have become now more Italian than I am. Hey. You thinking, maybe if you made a little bit of pasta, I'm a favo giullo by eight. Yeah, I mean, I more agree with this. And then Nimble stabs it in the face. Here, how about this? You let me have a little piece of you and the next time we come across some sugar, I'll come down and feed it to you.

You promise? I promise. It's a Nimble guarantee and he sticks his hand into the dough. He just jiggles it around. Oh. And he pulls it out. He's like, what was that? That was your gift. So are you using your network? Yes. So when you use an experience, you cross it out. Oh, no, I can't use it anymore. Use it again. Oh, shit. That's okay. I got some star. Good way to get this stuff. Cross it out. And we take the stuff upstairs and we open the door and it is now snow blowing in through the door.

We have been teleported somewhere else and outside we find a tiny also clubs fungi, lichens and molds, but in a snowy place. So what do we find out here? It's just a tiny little thing. Yeah. Rock lichens. Yeah. What? How does it? What does it smell like? What does it look like? It'll taste like like rosemary. Oh, yeah. It's like a hanging kind of rosemary. I like that. And mirrors pops out. He's at this place freaking me out.

Just every time we close a door, it opens somewhere else, gathering a bundle of lichen, shoving it into his cloak and nipples like, I'm going to close the door like close that door. And then the wind picks up from outside and sucks. The door closed. Oh, shit. And the third place it opens onto is a desert. So these are just the three ingredients that we've drawn, basically. And the last one is hearts or animal parts or parts of animals. Juicy steaks, powdered horn, delicates, shells.

And we find that outside this door. What is the last ingredient that we find? Absolutely. A bunch of steaks. Just a bunch of steaks. Oh, my God. We're going to make beef Wellington or whatever when you circle it in bread. Yeah. It's a mountain of steaks. Are we out? Sorry. What's the area we're in right now? It's a desert right now. Okay. So we're at like a ranchers. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Stuck in his barn. Yeah, that's perfect because the trait that it gives it with the four of hearts is hostile.

Okay. So there's just like a rancher like we open up, we come out of his barn door and there's just a guy standing there next to his pile of steaks. Yeah. What are you doing here? And Fatim just says nothing and then swipes all the steaks with one arm. And close the door. That's it. Just grabs him, slams the door. Do we have to use skills every time we do actions? No. Oh, you can just improvise. Oh. Should I use a skill to make sure that farmer can't come in?

No, I think once the door closes, we're safe. Yeah, because he probably runs back in and it's a barn again. And he wonders where the giant man in the tracksuit that grabbed all his steaks went to. Yeah. So yeah, those are the ingredients that we have. We have steaks from some sort of animal, any animal in particular. Um, desert cow. Perfect. Desert cow. A.K.A. The Camel. Sure. But we can make a different kind of camel that has big old titties, just like a cow does.

It looks like a camel, except its neck is shorter like a cow. It's got big cow boobs. And horns. Can it have horns? It can have horns. And a tufty little haircut? Yep. Yep. Beautiful. Then the next thing is, uh, tasters. You're the test group for this new dish. The player characters, a small group of trusted regulars, or a guy that wandered into the bar. That's what the shepherd is. He's the guy that's tasting this new dish.

And Nimble's talking to the shepherd, and he's like, alright, I have bad news for you, my friend. Okay. We are no longer in your home country, for sure. What do you mean? And then Nimble throws the door open. And it is green rolling planes. Oh, fuck. What are you talking about? Um, I guess the Nimble's like, closes the door, opens it again. It's still the green planes. And then Nimble goes, I guess I'm a lying little kid. Okay. Alright, I'm gonna go talk to my friends. Okay.

And then as he shuffles away, he's like, Nimble's gonna live forever! And he continues to drink his drink. Why did it stay the same for him? I think the bar wanted to put him back where it got him, because he didn't need to be in here. Yeah. Which is cool. So let's just, let's describe what we're planning. What we're planning to do. So we've got a yeasty exoskeleton kind of bread goo. And it's expanding quite quickly. It's getting big. Yeah.

And then we've got these steaks that, uh, were steaks when we found them, just kind of out in the sand. So we've got sandy steaks that may or may not be old. They're dry-aged. Yeah, dry-aged in the sun. And then we've got lichens that taste like rosemary. Nice. This is great. Yeah. So what are we trying to make? Kind of like a The thing where you put a… Yeah, a little beef wellington. Oh, right, yes. A rapidly expanding beef wellington.

And there's kind of a clock on it, because we're like, we don't know how to get this thing to stop getting bigger. Uh-huh. So we gotta get this guy to eat it quick and get the fuck out of here. Before he explodes. So we make very small beef wellingtons. Yes. We've learned that the hard way. Yeah. And Nimble leans into Fatim, and he's on his shoulder and he lifts the hair on the side of his hand. He's like, Fatim. What? Can you tell me what a beef wellington is?

I've kind of just been poking at the dough. Yeah, you take, like, the good meat and then you wrap it around the dough, you cook it, it's like, kind of like a sandwich, but really fancy. Is it, like, kind of like a calzone, but with meat inside of it? Yes! It is! Oh, thank you, Nimble. I was trying to think of something really good like that, and I was just like, the closest I could get was sandwich. Okay, cool.

And Mears, who's, like, doing, like, karate chop massage to the steaks, is like, what do you mean a calzone but with meat in it? What if the calzones you've eaten had in them? Oh, no, like, feta cheese and, like, spinach? Yeah. I had a calzone for my birthday last year. Alright, Rathgar. He had a birthday calzone. He had a birthday calzone. It was vanilla and strawberry. Okay, so we begin making the beef wellington, and we know what we're trying to do.

We're trying to make a new, a hot new dish with these old, weird arcane ingredients. So what we gotta do is we're rolling dice equal to four plus our cuisine rating, which is one. Okay. So we're gonna roll five dice. Each? You all, we'll each roll one and then someone will roll one extra. Okay. So just roll them. Ooh. One. One. Two. Six and a three. Okay. So we have four things that we're putting these dice on. We're gonna choose one die for each of these ratings. Okay. One to three is bad.

Yeah. Four to six is good for goal. Then besides that, it's like one to two, three to four, five to six. Think of it like Blades in the Dark. Okay. And the choices are going to be like, or goal, whether or not you succeed at actually cooking this food. Seasoning, presentation, and texture. Who wants to assign their number to what? I'm on presentation. Okay. And then he kind of fails on it, I guess. Mears will be on seasoning. Uh, I will be on goal. I have a six. Okay.

And that means that Fatima's on texture. Yeah, absolutely no problem. Okay. So seasoning, one. Oh no. What did you forget? Or what did you put way too much of? He put sugar instead of salt. Oh, so it's really sweet? Yep. Oh no. Yeah. And that sweetness is feeding this manic yeast. That's why it keeps growing. Oh yeah. Good point. So we're in the back like pushing down this huge thing of yeast that just keeps growing. Why is it getting so big?

And Nimble is like wringing his little hands and he's like, I got a confession to make to you guys. What? I traded the salt for the sugar. Because I was trying to do a classic salt grift. Oh no. So the sugar is probably why it's expanding so much. What? No fucking way. And then Fatima's so mad he starts taking his anger out on the steaks. Punching them. Nice. I got a two, so that's not great. Two. Um, he punched them so hard they became minced beef. Yeah. Just a bunch of hamburger.

Two on texture is food probably shouldn't be this texture. Yeah. You don't want like meat paste inside of beef Wellington. Oh, so it's sweet meat and then it's like the meat is like gooey. Oh yeah. Kind of making a mince meat mince meat pie. Yeah. So presentation. Yeah, we got a three. Okay. So the dish looks pretty good. Everything is right where it needs to be. Describe one flourish they're proud of. When you cut into it, blue liquid comes out and he's proud of it, but it looks awful. Watch.

Do it again. Oh, fantastic. Uh, but goal is yeah, six six. So you succeed. A taster gives you a compliment. So the guy like the shepherd who's sitting at the bar eating this weird puffy beef Wellington pie like don't Donald eat up now. He's like, you know what? I like the way the goo makes me forget that inside the meat is actually meat that should be a different shape and fathoms like really proud of himself. What do you? What do you call this thing?

It's like growing in his mouth to like he has to chomp down on the yeast. It it's called the everlasting beef stopper. Yeah. Yeah, because it stops you up, keeps you from going. So if you ever have to go a long time without taking a little doozy, you have one of these and it plugs you up good so you can run forever or hibernate for years. That's perfect because I'm a shepherd. I'm out in the grasses all the time.

I don't always have time to take a shit now with those nimble sheep of yours are always running off. I do like the nimble keeps bringing the word nimble into all this sense. You know what? Just pretty good. I'm going to tell my friends about this and he dabs his mouth off and gets up and heads back out into the grasslands. Does he pay us? He does. Yeah. A couple coins. Great. Can we frame these coins? Put it on the wall of the buyer behind the buyer. Beautiful.

Everybody standing around the coins at the end of the day. Wow. I told you we could do it. We're a really good team. Everybody come on. I'm feeling emotional guys. Come in. Come on. Say things that you like. Come on. No, this is too much emotion for me. I'm just going to go sit in the booth over there. Okay. Wait, nimble. Come on, buddy. And nimble goes you can have my emotions when you pry it out of my cold dead heart. Okay. All right. Rat Rathgar. Rathgar. Yes. Great job, man. Exactly. Encore.

I bet you're saying inside your head. Well, there's plenty more where that encore came from. Young man. Put her there. Puts his hand out. He goes out to shoot. He does the thing and he goes magic and everybody leaves mirrors and he's standing there behind the bar looking at the framed coins that are like jingling around in the bottom of a picture frame because no one thought to actually adhere them to the frame. But he has a little smile on his face. He's very proud of the day's work.

After you finished resolving tasting the dish, you can write down any NPC that really liked the dish as a permanent NPC. If you're going to make this dish a permanent part of the menu, come up with a name. How do customers react? Oh, my God. I mean, shepherd's pie. Seems. Oh, my God. It's a shepherd's pie. We're having a staff meeting and and Rathgar says that we're like, oh, that's a good name. I'm Rathgar. Stop it. There is another. There's another dish called a shepherd's pie.

Well, soon we will take that dish name over. Okay. Shepherd's pie. All right. Yeah. You're going to take the food world by storm. I tell you. Okay. I like it. Shepherd's pie. Well done, everyone. And mirrors goes over to the chalkboard behind the bar that says like specials and writes shepherd's pie. Cute. Two coins. Two coins. He erases it. Three coins. Now he erases it and puts it in the two coins. Okay. All right. And that is the end of tasting the dish.

Now because you guys don't know what the games actually are. Abdul, do you want to choose one next? Yes. Okay. So the games we have are NPC side quest and NPC gives you a side quest. Where in tear is us fixing up the bar market day. We go to a market to buy some things we need homegrown. We're growing some ingredients ourselves. Yeah. Romancing a stranger. Oh, a stranger comes into the bar that is romancing somebody off the clock. That's just us hanging out.

I think a friendly tavern brawl breaks out festival day. There's a festival. We end up in a bard's tale. A bard shows up to tell stories about someone in the bar and people are kind of arguing about like how the story is wrong or trying to tell the right story. Oh, a glass of the gods, which is somebody. An adventurer comes in to tell their tale of woe basically to the bartender. These are all great. They're good prompts. Yeah.

Let's do romancing a stranger to start because I think that that is funny. Classic horny Abdul. So what romancing the stranger is someone in the tavern makes eye contact with you and their gaze lingers a little longer than you'd expect. Your coworkers urge you on and make every excuse they can to send you over to talk to the lovely stranger. One pair plays. One person is the romancer and one person is the stranger. I will be the stranger. Okay. Yeah.

So you're the person that comes into the bar and is like ooh la la. Yes. Yes. So Fatim just got out of the shower and he's in a cut phase. And he's just got like his little teeny tiny towel around his waist. Wasn't expecting anybody. Throws his hair back. It's wet. Yeah. What is the consistency of Fatim's hair? Just out of curiosity. At first I thought he had no hair, but then you guys remind me he has hair. So I think it's actually like longish. Is it like Fabio style hair? Yeah.

Oh, like really long. Oh. Like Momoa long. Holy shit. That's cool because I think last time we saw him he had like it shaved on both sides and it was like kind of a ponytail, but he's let his hair grow out. He's got a beard now. It's him getting into a softer kind of vibe. Yeah. Nice. So how just for the listener how this game. He doesn't have a beard. He doesn't have a beard? No, I fucked up. Oh, okay. That's fine. Yeah. No beard. Okay. No beard. Long hair. No beard. Five o'clock shadow. Okay.

Perfect. Oh, yeah. He forgot to shave in the shower. Yeah. And as he walks into the bar nimble who has found a saxophone at the last town they were in is like he's on the bar like doing the Kenny what's his name? It's Careless Whisper. Yeah, but he's doing like the hip movement. Oh, yeah. I see. And Rath has been experimenting with this globe that's covered in tiny little mirrors and he's hanging up for making lights go into all the corners of the thing and he's shining this blue light.

So as soon as he comes out the saxophone starts up basically a disco ball goes and there's no read in the saxophone. So it's nimble literally going to do to do to do and as Fatum comes into the room with his like towel just out of the shower mirrors is not looking at him very stiffly not looking at him beet red. Yeah, he's just like a lot of onions.

So loud his own metal fingers so who comes into the bar a tall redheaded woman angular features and we're in a snowy landscape and she wearing a fur lined parka. Yeah, she's got a fur lined parka like high heel for high heel boots. She's got opera gloves. Yeah. Yeah, for aligned opera. Yeah, and she walks in with her hair. Underneath like a scarf to start a fur lined scarf and then she like she pulls the scarf off and then as the do do do do Kenny Rogers careless whisper is going Kenny Rogers.

Sorry. It's a Kenny Rogers version of it. Yeah, but she like whips her hair out and it's like long flowing red hair and the audience recognizes her as Allison. Of course. Yeah, of course. Okay, so Fatum sees us and he slips down the stairs because he's just like, whoa, and he slides all the way down tumbles boom boom boom his towel falls off and he's like, oh, I'm so sorry and he pulls it up like just covering his crotch. Oh, you slide down the stairs into the tavern. Yeah. Okay. All right.

I got you which is like the foyer of the outside zone. Excuse me. Welcome to welcome to hither and yon my lady then Allison puts a long red nail in her mouth and she like kind of like cheekily looks down at Fatum's tackle box and she's like kind of lost some of your linens there. Yeah. Yes. And Fatum he wants anyway he's thinking to himself. He's like trying to do some moves some poses, but he's got to keep like one hand holding.

The towel is crotch and then he like leans up against the window like it but it's too far away. And so he's like really leaning totally can I get me. Are you just a table for one and then Allison's like, yeah, I and then she like again in a very predatory way looks him up and down. She's like I stopped in for dinner right this way and he's walking backwards like leading the way to the table, but he's facing her so that she doesn't see his butt. Okay. No, he's got he's holding the towel up. Okay.

She's like, oh, thank you. Fatum. My name is Fatum. Okay, Fatum. Thank you. I am Allison. That's a hot name. The camera rack focuses over to mirrors behind the bar and he looks over at Allison. And then looks away and scurries into the kitchen right mirrors met Allison knows that Allison is a succubus and as mirrors like runs into the kitchen. She like just barely misses him behind the bar because she knows she would be made if she saw yeah. Yeah.

Here's the menu and let me slip into something a little more comfortable. There and he's got the table with like a cloth. It's so well set and then he grabs it and yanks out the the tablecloth and it comes out perfectly and then wraps it around Fatum. Thank you. And Allison's been perusing the menu and she's like, you know what? I don't see you on this. Adam was in the process of taking the towel out to wrap around like a fancy scarf and he falls over again. He has no shell.

One of the prompts is I trip and fall against you. What do you say? He falls over and accidentally grabs her boob. And he's mortified. I am so sorry. That was totally an accident. And then she she like steadies him by grabbing his big biceps and she like pushes him up and then squeezes them for a second and he flexes and and then she because like her predatory instant kicks in she squeezes tight enough to like leave nail marks.

And then in response to him like grabbing her boob she goes, oh, I hadn't planned on that for a couple of hours. Would you like red or white wine? Red for me always. Yeah. And then he sprints to the kitchen. I know, right? You gotta be you gotta be careful. Why? Be careful because I'm gonna fucking bust. Take it slow, my friend. Think of tetherball. Remember. Think of tetherball. You're right, my friend. The mirrors goes beet red again. Just an embarrassment at being around adult sexuality.

And it's just like, I'm gonna I'm gonna make you food. Okay. What's the best ball of red we got, Mears? And he goes over to a crate of dusty bottles and he starts holding them up to the light and blowing dust off the label. I think this one's red. Perfect. And he grabs two huge wine glasses on his way out. He's pouring as he's running. Okay. Takes the cork out with his mouth. Yeah. Wrathgar, bud. You mind lighting? I'm lighting candles from across the bar. They're lit.

A little bit of her hair goes on fire and then he runs over and squirts some sort of weird foam on it. It's like all part of the fun theater. It's like Chuck E. Cheese in here. I was wondering like, okay, how did Wrathgar light the candles? But now I'm imagining he put candles down with fuses that were going to light in 45 seconds and was like, please ask me to light the candles. Please ask me to light the candles. Please ask me to light the candles. And I'm a good friend, so I did. C.F.

Adams sets the wine like sloshed. It's sloshed everywhere. Sets the wine down in front of Allison like, my lady. Allison takes the glass of red. It's full to the brim and soaked. Yeah. And Fadams is also full to the brim and he's like chugging it like. And Allison chugs too, actually, but she's doing it effortlessly. Fadams like, wow, you are an impressive drinker. You're really guzzle. You're really fit a lot. You can really fit a lot in that big, big mouth. That big mouth. Allison laughs.

And she is starting to like blush, like get red. And she's honestly like everything Allison does is basically like fake human emotion, right? So she drank this much to force the physical body to blush. So she's like, she is like snaring a trap. Like, that's all. Allison cares about. So she laughs in a very like you're hilarious kind of way. And she's like, why? I feel like I've met you before. Probably in your dreams or in my dreams because you're my dream woman.

And she's like, maybe I could see having a dream about you. And he's like flexing, like posing in different ways. Like, oh, yeah. And she's like, oh, teller ball McCall, you're the hammer. I am. You are the game. She's like, yeah, I was at all the games. I had the season's pass last year. No way. Yeah. You kind of just disappeared. Saw me play. Yeah. You were like the best in the league. And then she like starts spouting a bunch of like this is she's basically being like, yeah, jock catnip.

Yeah. And he is enamored. Yeah. She's like just spouting stats like about like number of yards gained, number of glass figurines shattered, number of nut taps. You had more than anyone else in the league history. And you did that in one season. Wow. And if Adam has already imagined his life with Allison and the children and he's picked out names and stuff. And Allison is like, she's feeding on all of this. Yeah. He's just like, Allison, you know me so well. You know the game better than I do.

And he's like crying because he's so in love. All those tears for her. Wow. Allison, I feel like you and I have known each other. Yeah. Yeah. Our whole lives. And I could tell you, I don't usually get this emotional at all, especially for all ladies. I hope you can forgive me. I just never been so. No one's ever seen me like this. And then she lays a hand next to his hand. But like that thing where it's like the fingertips are barely touching the side of the pinky. Yes. Just like a molecule.

Oh, my God. Yeah. The hottest hand touch. Yeah, definitely. Because she's like she's trying to generate as much lust as possible. Because what's happening right now is she's being hunted. Oh, yeah. And she was like starving. She broke out of a prison in the frozen north and she was starving. And she was she found this bar and she I guess maybe that's why the bar showed up here to feed her. Yeah. Even her scruples are hungry. Like she is putting aside her like want to be a good person.

Yeah, totally. And she's not killing everyone in here. Still. She's. She got to eat. Yeah. And she is. That's the thing about Allison. I think she's like cognizant of like she's like I can't just kill people, but I have to break this guy's heart. So I have enough energy to fucking escape that mob of what might be like warlocks or whatever. Oh, I can. I can. Yeah, I think. Iconoclasts. Yes. She's. Oh, God. I wish I could tell you what she was thinking right now. Do you know? Yeah.

Oh, I have an idea. Whoa. Oh, what is the rules around? This? I don't know. I'm realizing the power I've put in each of your hands. That could really be a problem for me later. Yeah. I could tell you guys this. Was this something for Spout Lore that you knew already? No, no, no. I just came up with it. But you can try and get it out of me because Phantom hasn't asked her any questions. Right.

And he's like, sorry, I feel like I'm talking mostly about myself and that I've just I've never been on such a good date. So like, where are you from? You know, tell me about yourself. And she does this, like, stretch. Yeah. And he is hard. He's been hard this whole time. He's like, faint. It's the kind of thing that, like, she does a stretch and crosses her legs in a way that like the hairs on the backs of everyone's neck stand up even years.

But his in like, there's a tiger in the bar kind of thing. Actually, can I can I throw something in there that is like kind of canonical? So Allison stretches like that, Fatim, and you feel like a warmth, like a heat kind of in your head. Okay. And Allison, the eye in the right side of Fatim's head flares a little bit. Whoa. You feel yourself like cowed. Whoa. Like you are. You like you curl in a little bit. You pull your power back for a second. Uh huh. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa. That's fucking crazy.

That's fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy. What? Cool. So you see Allison flinch a little bit after she stretches like she tweaked something, maybe. Right. And Fatim reaches for a hand. And she grabs his hand to like steady herself. And the Wrathgar comes in. Oh, hi. And puts a menu down on both her hands. There you go.

Because now he's he's like fighting and now he's going to give her a bunch of lust. Even Francis has no idea what's going on, but he's also there. Like he feels a bunch of energy on this side. He's like, oh, hi. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy.

There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy.

The saxophone no he found a french horn he's just screaming and so uh fathom can feel like rathgar trying to like get in his way and he's like taking that badly he's like man back off I fucking got here first yeah man I know but this is not a competition just kind of want to see what your lovely lady I have a question for I noticed that he wasn't asking you any questions I just wanted to have a question for you first of all where are you from hey and and uh fathom leans in oh where where'd you go where are you going where did you come from and where where are you going cotton eye joe and he points at fathom when he says cotton eye joe get a load of cotton eye joe over here and then uh allison's like whoa whoa whoa so many questions so many questions and I feel like I have to catch my breath holy I know right this is so us I had that you!

This is tesla wall or whatever it's okay it's like a an energy source for a succubus that's like holy shit these guys are gonna fucking fight over me yeah and she's like oh my god stop don't but she's just charging up yeah totally and and fathom stops punching and he's like you know what allison why don't you and I just run away together I don't need to be here anymore I don't need to be around these guys and then rathgar's like his face is pummeling he got punched the shit out of him he's like black and blue and he spits out blood and a tooth falls out he's like you let's just get out of here go somewhere romantic and uh you notice like in the windows behind allison like torchlight is approaching and she's like I think maybe I will step outside for a second while you wait for me to get my stuff right exactly I want you guys to go get your stuff I will wait right outside and then she comes and she's like oh my god I'm kind of like gestures generally to both of them and I will be taking you home with me I'm into not not if I get there first and uh fathom like sprints upstairs he'll grab just like hauls a armful of his stuff but it's not a organized collection it's mostly rathgar stuff uh-huh and and I'll you yeah she's uh she like she's outside um so fathom and rathgar like elbowing each other as they're running downstairs yeah and then um get to the door get to the door open it allison my love it's just like a quiet alleyway steam rises into the end of the air from stacks in the distance alley babe guys close the door she's gone isn't she she left me she did the old disappearing heart trick I need to be alone right now my feelings he throws down a smoke bomb he's gone but he's he did it he moved three feet he's lying on the couch sadly we're laying on opposite couches facing away from each other uh-huh yeah uh and that's the end of romancing a stranger can you guys make up we will there's a rift I think I think what we'll do this is not usually how it goes but I'll do a little directing so the next game we're going to play is called wear and tear okay wait before we move on can can I tell you what was what I think was going on with allison it didn't come out but I think what was happening was she so one of the reasons why she's been off the map is because she was trapped by like an iconoclast which are people who study icons basically demonologists in our world and they were trying to extract the demonologists from the world and they were trying to extract the demonologists from her so that they could like trade it to a warlock interesting uh for like use cool yeah I feel like they came to at first we're like we can help you solve you just are you tired of living like this you know without trying to sell her on all the good points of it like like a real kind of like kindly kind of vibe where it's like we're trying to help you we know you try not to kill people yeah and then maybe that's how she got trapped yeah yeah yeah oh the only thing is I misspoke so yeah if there's people that study they're iconographers uh iconoclasts are the ones that study them iconoclasts are people that hunt and destroy demons okay which is they don't really exist anymore no not in the same way even iconographers are pretty rare yeah so wear and tear uh there's always something to fix or clean or pay off after playing this game you may increase one of your tavern ratings by one setup anyone can play as a group decide what parts of the tavern need fixing and touching up and what new features of the taverns there are uh something that the game we did this we've been doing this throughout the day but this is actually the point in the game where stew pot itself is not a tavern it's a tavern it's a tavern it's a tavern it's a tavern it's a tavern take a break before you play this take a few minutes leave the room that you're in go walk around okay and then come back and if anything's come up that you want to talk about in the game any problems you're having anything you're stressed about then bring it up now give yourselves an opportunity to check in because wear and tear we're fixing up the tavern but we're also maintaining ourselves that's nice so we've all got coffees now thank you uh to super dove for bankrolling our treats today that's so incredibly generous Superduv, thank you very much for the chicken And thank you very much for the coffees I did not take a picture of the chicken Because we ate it too fast We really did We could take a picture of the garbage The detritus that was left behind I'll take a picture of the bag right now Okay, so Let's talk about Hither and Yon And what we think needs fixing up And what new additions people might want to make I think Mears' goal, of course Is the kitchen It's fixing up the stove, maybe getting a nicer stove The stove's pretty small, guys I can only make one Shepard's Wellington In this thing before the yeast Starts popping out of all the holes I need a bigger oven Oh, don't worry, Mears, I can help you there You know how I've been, like, playing With some pottery on the side, making little cups Is that why you've been so Clay-y lately?

Yeah, I could build you, like, a new brick oven If you want No way You would do that for me? Fatim?

Yeah, Mears, you're like my little bro Maybe you're not so bad after all Maybe I'm not But maybe I am Who knows And he slams down, like, a big slab of clay And starts going Nice And he starts literally wrestling the clay Yeah, he's like, fuck you Fuck you, dad And he's, like, punching it And then he's, like, ripping it apart, being like Fuck you, Tuck, this is your head Fuck you And Mears is like, oh my god I forgot he doesn't know that I know Tuck Mears is keeping so many secrets right now He really is Fuck you, Torch McCall Fuck you, Torch McCall You don't fucking know me You don't fucking know anything but, like, I don't know The god of the flame, barely His eyes flaring Yeah Anyway, like, a day later, after a lot of fighting And Fatim got super sweaty Took a lot of shower breaks and stuff He definitely didn't have to go this hard Anyway, there's, like, a very delicate, beautiful And sturdy new clay oven Oh, wow Cool Yeah, you can make all tons of shit A bunch of shepherd pies and wellingtons And you can make loaves of sourdough You can make pumpernickel bread Which I know you like Oh my god You can bake a bunch of chicken curries in here You could do a bunch of baklava Which I have personally tried out And it worked out well Great And Mears is, like, running his hand down the oven Searing sounds, smells Filling the kitchen Anyway, I'm gonna go do a bunch of chin-ups So, I'll see you later Okay, bye, thank you And, uh, over the next couple days This is, so that was Fatim's, I guess, work on the tavern Mears' work on the tavern is He tidies up and organizes the kitchen He, like, pulls out a bunch of old Kind of worm-eaten Shelves that were in there for a long time And He's like, Rearranges the spices in bottles And makes things nice and clean Cleans up everything It's so, everything is in reach To where he needs it to be when he's cooking He's starting to feel good about it So we have a cuisine rating of 2 right now Oh, nice Yeah Yeah What's, uh, what's Nimble getting up to?

Uh, Nimble has People have been noticing that Nimble's been walking around With, uh, like, he's always chewing gum Okay And every day It seems like he's chewing more and more gum Uh-huh And it's because he's been going underneath all the tables And taking the gum Of course People have been sticking there Okay And chewing it Like, mostly for selfish reasons But as a result He's really been, like, cleaning up the tavern Because all the gum's gone from under the tables But then all the dust and grime on the floors is gone Because Nimble's been shuffling around so much Yeah Also, his, his, his chin line's been cleaning up With all that chewing He's getting real cut in the chin Yeah, and he's, he keeps dropping the big ball of gum He's been chewing, too So that's picking stuff up Oh, God Yeah, because Francis is rolling it around Yeah Like a dung beetle, yeah Francis tried, yeah, it's an instinct Uh-huh It's because woolly pigs lay eggs And that's how they Woolly pigs lay eggs?

Yeah All right, I guess woolly pigs lay eggs Yeah Never said that before So he's treating it like an egg Great Yeah You're doing a fantasy by numbers To get your woolly pig egg dice Yeah Is he, is he having, like, parental instincts right now? Yeah, he's, like Oh, Francis He keeps, like, stealing it and taking it to his nest And then Is this a male woolly pig behavior? Or is this a female woolly pig behavior?

I think it's male It's like they're, they're like emperor penguins Okay, yeah, like the males raise the young Yeah Yeah So he's got a big nest somewhere that's, like, smashed up Crates and rags that he's dumped in a corner It's one of the rooms Yeah It's just ruined You can't get in there at all Yeah But, yeah, he comes up to Mears And he's like, oh, I'm not going to do that He's like, hey, uh, check this out This is the biggest ball of gum you've ever seen or what?

Oh, my God Where did you get that? And he's holding it over his head It's huge You haven't been chewing that, have you?

Oh, yeah, not all at once I haven't been able to fit it in my mouth for a few weeks now But, yes You, you gotta, you gotta stop chewing on that I'll stop chewing on this When you pry it out of my cold, dead jaws He starts, he starts biting it Nimble is, like, a scarier version of Billy Like, a more, a sharper vision But he also, like, as he kind of runs away He turns to Mears and he shows him a page of a notebook That he's just been sticking stickers to Oh, my God He's like, I found these stickers Where?

What do you think of it? I don't know, they're cool That's like a little pig, that's cute Yeah Is that like a, like a dog? Yeah I don't know what this stripy horse is The colors on this horse are all wrong This one's a duck Oh Why is it even a duck? It's yellow None of your fucking business All right Jesus He runs into the kitchen Oh, what?

He clutches the book and runs into the kitchen Kid scares the hell out of me That's for Nimble to know and for you to find out What's, uh, how's Rathgar been contributing to the upkeep of Hither and Yon?

Uh, he put in a stage in a performance area Oh, God, no Yeah And he's really been MacGyvering a whole setup He may, has chairs, but they're all upside down buckets Mm-hmm Uh, he made up a bunch of lights, like a lighting rig Ooh And they're all out of, like, the, he took apart the bathroom to make a stage So And then he, like, was like, I fixed the bathroom I just imagined, like, in the middle of the night, Fatim going to take a shit in the toilet and not being there There's just a hole now Slamming into the ground And then there's a sign on it that says, it still works Cause he turned the toilet into a trap door Oh my God So then, Fatim's, like, stuck in the shit And he's like, oh, I'm gonna go to the toilet And he's like, oh, I'm gonna go to the toilet And he's like, oh, I'm gonna go to the toilet Someone comes to use the bathroom in the morning and Fatim is just there No, no, no, no Get me out of here Occupied Yeah Oh, so we've got a little stage now He's rigged up a piano, too Rigged up a piano?

Yeah, he's made, like, an organic, like, a player piano Cool Like ones where you don't have to play it Yeah, it runs on the little blue crystal batteries Cool So, what kind of song, what kind of songs did Rathgard put on there?

Well, I don't know I don't know Well, he's been playing a lot of It has, like, a different thing You can put a French horn on it And it plays the French horn You can put the saxophone in It'll play Oh, nice He's attached the saxophone to the piano Yeah, it'll play any instrument That's so cool, actually That is really sick Yeah, it's a robo band Yeah So, the cuisine went up because of the sliced thing But it sounds like atmosphere is going up Yeah, can I ask another question about this player piano?

Please If you put a bottle into it, does it play it? Yes Is there a place where you can just, like, if you have a bottle? It'll take many bottles, too You can take a jukebox of bottles Nice If you put an empty, could you, like, get music into the bottle?

This is the thing So, you can, it also creates music Wow So, if you have all the instruments, you can attach them to this thing I'm glad you guys like it This is something I whipped up Well, I was thinking about this This is where music bottles come from Arcanix invented music bottles Yes, 100% Whoa So, if you have all the instruments, you can fill up a bottle So, right now, it's just, like, we have one bottle of So, maybe we can sell it Now, we have Guys, look, we can sell music bottles as well as booze Ooh And our one food item That's exciting Mm-hmm Okay I forgot the menu is one food Yeah Well, that's the most notable item That's the special Right Mears looks at the special every day, too He's, like, a guy that likes new and exciting foods Uh-huh So, every morning, he wakes up and looks at the special, which is Shepard's Pie And then in brackets, Wellington Yeah Yeah Yeah!

And he's just, like, fucking… God damn it! Yeah I hope nobody orders this But, so, Atmosphere, we're increasing Atmosphere Yeah So, our Atmosphere rating is now at two as well Such a weird game to be building up this bar that no one can ever really get in here just one at a time Yeah I don't… I mean, like, I think there are times where it goes to a place and there is regular customers True For, like, a few months Yeah Yeah And then we just disappear again Yeah And then…

Because everyone has those stories We went to this bar I can't remember the name of it But it was awesome Yeah I think it's, like, in those situations, the bar senses that the community needs something Yeah Like, it's not one person needs a place of refuge or needs food Exactly Or needs help It's, like, this community needs a gathering place for a bit Yeah Yeah, there have been times where, like, worker uprisings have been planned here Yeah And, like, you know, weddings and stuff have taken place Like, it's just…

It's, like…

Regicide planned out Exactly Yes Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Regicide foiled Yeah Regicide foiled Like, there's a night where, like, in some town somewhere, somebody's getting mugged in an alleyway And then in some town a million miles away, a bunch of roughneck workers are hanging out at Hither and Yon Yeah And it teleports them to where the person's getting mugged Yeah, totally So then just a bunch of angry construction bros come boiling out of a bar that appeared out of nowhere Hey, what are you doing to that car?

Out of a porta potty Yeah Yeah Just come out with, like, clowns in a car Yeah But now the… Up, up, up, up, up Just above the door of the porta potty on the plastic and marker is written Hither and Yon Yeah, exactly I also think that there are times when they're, like, Hither and Yon is fighting itself Like, there's two versions of Hither and Yon in one place One where, like, an uprising is being planned and the other one where, like, the…

Yeah The officials It's being tried to quash The counter-rebellion Yeah And they're like, they need to get it out of their system Exactly That's great Yeah, it's… The thing is, Hither and Yon has no morals Mm-hmm It just…

It feels when it's needed and then it moves to that place So, Atmosphere 2, canvas cots, freshly painted walls, clean windows You walk into Hither and Yon now, it looks nice Yeah It's tidy We've got a fucked-up magic piano machine in the corner And, um, sorry, our restroom's out of service Boy, is it ever But people keep using it We're really trying to get them to stop Yeah But they love it They're… It's kind of a novelty at this point Where they're like…

It's like, hey, there's this secret bar where the bathroom is a stage So it's kind of an arts piece where you taking a shit is like performing And I guess it means that art is shit? And it's not even like a… It's not real because when you go outside, like, it's… The shit's not there He's found a way of that made the toilet go out… Channel outside so that it just always goes into wherever they're going Yeah Hither and Yon ended up with a pretty solid review in a local…

Art zine That we just never saw So, Paul, it is now your turn to choose the game that you would like to play Okay, a distinguished guest A distinguished guest, okay Yep, somebody cool comes in Yeah Could Kem come in? Oh…

Yeah, yeah, yeah Someone can play Kem Yeah So, a distinguished guest Someone important is in town and they're almost here The tavern has to be at its best for this guest Kem After all, they might leave a generous tip It could be Kem A setup As a group, figure out a few details about the important guest Where do they come from? How important are they? Have you heard of them before? His name is Kem He's the most important person in Mears' life So, how does Mears…

Mears doesn't ever shut the fuck up about it Yeah So, how does Mears know? Oh, because we… Because he's from Pinewood He's from Pinewood We open the door and there's a… We're in Winewood Yeah, we're in Winewood Like the new… A bustling town in the woods on the shores of a wine-soaked lake Cool But Mears looks out and is like…

Oh, shit Oh, no Oh, no, I know where we are Oh, my God Oh, my God And there's, like, hanging on a tree Uh-huh Because the door opens out of a tree And sticking out of it is a beautifully carved wooden sign That says, Hither and Yon And then Nimble sees Mears freaking out And he's like, what's up? Did you lose your saffron again or something? No There's… There's a boy here His name's Kem And he… What if he comes here? What if he comes here and what do I do? What do you mean? Yeah, he's…

You just want to look your best? Okay, on the ground Give me ten push-ups right now You want to get that pump going No You want to get that pump going And Mears is trying to do push-ups But it's really awkward on, like, his metal hand And he's… And, uh, Fatim's helping him by doing push-ups with him Yeah, next to him Yeah What? Because his meat hand is way weaker than his metal hand Oh, yeah So he's just like… God Like, lopsided push-ups But I think, um, he's been…

Because of that, uh, Fatim's been training him to do one-handed push-ups Yeah Just with his metal hand And also just with his… Meat hand? Cool Yeah So he's getting kind of… He's getting that, like, teenage boy kind of lean muscle I think so I think it's like… This is a situation where Mears hasn't looked in the mirror in, like, months Maybe years Who knows? And if he did… What if Rathgard took all the mirrors? They have to go in the piano Well, what is smoke but without mirrors?

And I think if Mears were to look in the mirror He would look a little bit older than he expected And it's the best he's ever looked Oh, certainly, yeah Oh, yeah Like, him without having to worry about what he's looking like He's looking so good Uh, so how this game works is One player will play the guest Jessica as Kemp Other players are challengers At least one for each challenge Each challenge tests one of your tavern's ratings Ooh, I'm Kemp's new boyfriend Huh?

Oh, what kind of challenge are you talking about? Ooh, yes What if? Yes No, guys, you gotta… Hold on a second Sorry, sorry Regardless of whatever you're doing, you gotta…

Whatever he says next My statement stands We misinterpreted the rules for a second Okay And then we got excited about what that might mean So it means there's a cuisine challenge An atmosphere challenge And a service challenge Each one, you flip a coin A number of times equal to your rating Heads is good, tails is bad So, like, we've got two cuisine So if I flip heads, then the food that I make is good And the guest player describes what they enjoy most about the meal If I get a tails, I fail The guest player describes something unpleasant They find in their food So that's what we're trying to do We're each gonna be flipping coins during the challenge Trying to get a heads To make a good experience for the guest Okay Yeah But also Sounds like Kemp has a new boyfriend Yes So Mears Gathers everybody Okay We gotta get our shit together There's somebody in this town And if they come here and they have a bad time I will lose my mind And Fadum takes this really seriously Because he's never heard Mears talk in any different way I will absolutely lose my shit On everyone here And myself for months So we gotta be top of the line Okay And we're standing to attention Like the towels over our arms Yes, exactly And Mears is standing on top of the bar He's striding back and forth like General George S.

Patton We're gonna lock it down We're gonna do our best We're gonna excel Victory We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best You're cold as ice.

I'm going to fucking chop this potato so fast. You're impossibly fast. I'm going to lose my mind if I have to hear any more of this. You're so strong. Sorry, this thing's stuck on medley. You're emotionally abusive. There's some weird Mormon overtones to your behavior. And I'll say it out loud. All right, I'm flipping this coin. Fun boy. Okay, last attempt. If Mears blows this, the food's bad. Okay, you do it. Heads. Heads, heads, heads, heads. Oh my God. Heads. Heads. Yes.

Oh, that's incredible. Wow, I like this game a lot. Okay, so Mears, like cuts a potato in the air. Oh, yeah. You cut it, but not all the way through. And then you put slices of butter and cheese in between and put it in the oven. It gets all crispy and baked on the inside. Oh, fuck, yeah. And then the fish gets laid over that. At the last moment, Mears is like, red wine. What am I thinking? With cheese and onion and the potatoes? It'd be disgusting.

He dumps it in the toilet and splashes out into the street in McCall somewhere. It just shoots out of a pot on the road. Hot, hot red wine. Yeah. Fish mold wine. So he just, what's a better, he just uses, he just butters it, poaches it in butter, you know, does that thing where you take the spoon and you kind of throw it over the thing you're cooking as you're cooking it. Or grills it. Yeah. Or grills it. Because he's so fast and spicy right now. Yeah.

Oh, and the wood he's using with like pine, wood from outside. So it's kind of got like a pine grilled. Yeah. Yeah. And he brings it out to the table. Rathgar has got like his, he's like making an illusion. So it's like, the chef would like to deliver his food personally to your table. Oh. And Cam tries not to get too excited. Oh, really? Does he know that it's Mears? Yeah, he saw him. He saw him, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'd be interested to meet this chef.

Yeah, I mean, not that like, I'm, not that I know him. Yeah, absolutely. I'd love to meet the chef for like the first time. All right. And so then he's like, please, gentlemen and gentlemen, put your hands together and welcome to the hither and yon from which you know not when you go, but where you are transported to in the minds and mouths of babes across the world.

Mears takes a deep breath and walks out of the kitchen and around the bar and is like, man, they really went way too hard on this intro. I got a lot to live up to now. There's smoke and sparkles happening over a blue light. And then through the blue light, he puts on the music. Please put your hungry hands together for our chef Mears. Hi. Hello, Kim. Mears, you look well. Ah, Sodi, you look so as do you. Thank you. Thank you. Who's your friend here? Hi, I'm Darby. Hi, Darby.

Yes, this is my friend, Darby. We're dating. My name's Darby. We only just started dating. Right, no. No, that's cool. That's cool. That's fine. That's nice. My dad is the town leader, Yilliam. Oh. Or William. It's really hard for me to remember which is which. It's Yilliam. I remember Yilliam. Yilliam. I've been here before. You know the wine lake? Oh, yeah. He invented it. Oh, you invented the wine lake. Kind of. I was there, I think. I was involved.

Were you the boy who got concussed on the course on the way out of town? Oh, no. I don't know what you're talking about. But I saw… Today, I'm the head chef at this place. You might have known. No way. Yeah, this is kind of my place. And Imagineer. I am impressed. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, today for you, I have… Salmon poached in butter and grilled with pinewood smoke and on a bed of Hasselbeck potatoes. Enjoy. On the house. It's like you knew. The potatoes were my favorite food.

Guest player describes what they most enjoy about the meal. Oh, the crispiness of the potato mixed with like the soft, melty, buttery insides. Oh, that's nice. All right. And they settle into their meal. And as they begin to enjoy the food, they really start to soak up the atmosphere of the Hither and Yon, which I believe seems to be the purview of Rathgar the Nightblade. Has he decorated in any interesting, weird, arcanical ways? It just looks like a prom. Like glittery disco balls. Yeah.

He made Hither and Yon under the sea. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. It always ends up being a prom with us. Oh, my God. Francis is dressed up like a little… Mermaid. He's just going to town on a pile of garbage. Yeah. Rathgar has sewn a bunch of extra sleeves on his cloak, so he's like an octopus. Yes. Mater D. And Nimble is dressed as… He found like a stuffed shark in the basement and he shoved himself into it, so he's dragging around like an eight-foot shark behind him.

The next challenge is the service challenge, so keep that in mind. Okay. Great. Yeah. So go ahead and flip it. I want heads. You want a heads. I got a tails. Okay. So you get one more and then one more because of your jury rigging or your arcana. Come on. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Tails. Oh, no. Fucking shit. One more. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Last time. Heads. Heads. Yeah. All right. It's so romantic. Yeah. He filled all the corners of the bar with water.

There's all these tubs of water, and he made all these lights pointing into the corner, so they're reflecting all this underwater thing everywhere, so it actually looks really underwater. Hell yeah. Yeah. And it's full of smoke. You can hardly see 10 feet in front of you. Amazing. And he rigged the little fishes and seaweeds to the ceiling fans, so they're all just swimming around the bar. Nice. So it's kind of a hazard as well, which might interrupt the service. Yeah. Perfect.

So the guest describes a special memory they will always have of their stay. It's when Rathgar introduced Mears, and Mears was standing there, with the glow of the butter highlighting his face. The light was shining off the butter, and he saw Mears for the first time. What feels like forever. And you notice how much he's grown. Grown. I mean- And how much you are growing. Growing and showing. Our little baby boy Mears might no longer be 14. How old is he, do you think, now?

I'm fully willing to believe that he has turned 16 since he has been living it. Yeah. He's a little bit younger than Heather and Jan. Yeah. And he's got like big, these big shoulders from training with FATM now. I also, I think he's getting kind of bar keep body. Like he's getting muscular, but he's putting on weight too, because he eats a lot and he moves a lot of stuff around. Yeah. So he's filling out, but he's got muscle too. I like that.

And then his facial hair is coming in, so he's getting a little bit of like a blonde curly beard. Oh yeah. Yeah. So he looks kind of like young gravy. What's that? Oh my God. I guess he kind of does look like that. He does look like young gravy a little bit. Okay. Fatter. Yeah. Like a chubby young gravy and shorter. Mears isn't a super tall guy. Is that the rapper who likes moms? Yeah. The rapper who fucks everybody's moms. Yes. Love it.

Whenever people go to a young gravy concert, I always see stuff on TikTok that's like, my mom got selected for the young gravy pre-show experience. Oh my God. That's hilarious. And then it's like hot mouth like going backstage. Oh yeah. Okay. And next, so the dinner is out. The stage has been set. The only thing left to make sure Kem and Darby have a nice time is the service, which I believe is under Nimble's control, probably with Fatim. So Fatim or Nimble has shoved himself into a shark. Yeah.

Right. So, so that means he can't carry the trays. So, so Fatim's carrying all the trays and he's also serving all the other tables cause Nimble's taking so long to move around in his outfit. Uh huh. Nimble's getting pretty hot in there. Yeah. It's packed in here. I forgot that. It is. So Fatim's on roller skates, like zooming around and he's, he's making sure we pay special attention to, um, Kem's table. Yeah. Perfect. And he is stacking tips. Oh yeah, he is.

There's a lot of moms in this restaurant right now. Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah. Quan on Quan. A lot of people that, yeah, really appreciate a strapping lad. On skates. Yeah. It's the skates that really nails it home. So Abdul is going to flip coins for this. Yeah. So our service rating, aka, $1,000. Yeah. So we're going to do a little bit of a quick review. So we're going to do a quick review. So we're going to do a quick review of this. Yeah.

So our service rating, aka, the number of coin flips you get is one. Okay. So unless you cross off any of your experiences, you're only getting one. All right. Okay. Heads. Hell yeah! I fucking knew this was going to happen. Can someone describe how cool, how did the coin flip was? You ended up with almost not even looking. It almost hit the ceiling and you caught it out of mid-air and slammed it on the book. Silence. No expression in his face, but a quiet shirring.

Of the luck that befalls him at every turn. And I'm pretty sure you kept eye contact with Sean the whole time. Didn't even look at the coin. Caught the coin without looking. Slammed it on his book. Plucked it out of midair. Didn't wait for it to come back down. Heads. If one of your coin flips comes up heads, you pass. The guest describes an interesting conversation they have with someone at the tavern. Okay. But maybe it's mirrors. Ooh. Okay. Maybe they bump into each other on the way.

Yeah, Kim tries to go to the bathroom. What bathroom? I know. And that's what he says. He's like, oh, sorry. He walks in on Kim. And Kim is crying. Oh. Or mirrors is crying. Yeah. Oh. Mirrors. I'm so sorry. Oh, no, it's fine. I was just. Chopping onions. Yeah, I was chopping onions in here. In the bathroom? Yeah. It's a mudlarkian style of food preparation. Right. You wouldn't understand. I just want to be clear. Darby's fine, but I've always. I've always held a spot soft spot for you.

I didn't think. I didn't think you'd be leaving so soon. You know, I just. I got lonely. Look, Kim, it's been. It's been two years. What? It's. Here's been like a month. Ooh. I mean, and I like, you know, I had sent you letters. I didn't hear back. No. No, no. I look. I'm. I'm sorry. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't get any of the letters. I just thought that you'd moved on. No, you know, I thought I thought you'd moved on. You know, you're like going out to do cool stuff. And, you know, I thought.

I thought you didn't like me because I didn't have like cool accent like my dad does. Why? No, I don't have a cool accent like my dad does. Right. Cut to Dick Faust. Yeah. Boy, I love digging in the mud. Ever since Mudlark was raised to the ground by the army of. Bully wags. I've been digging in the mud trying to find my old beloved horse Matilda. Oh, there she is. Cut back. I. I. Sorry. You go. No, you go. No, it's fine. All right. Okay. Look, Kim, I like you.

I know that you're with somebody right now and that's fine here. Just a sec. And he runs out and he grabs a piece of paper and he writes down the mailing address for hither and yon. Whoa. She's found is like if you write. The hither and yon address on a letter and put it in a place that letters are placed. Yeah. They show up at hither and yon. Whoa. What's the hither and yon address? Hither and yon here, there and everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Okay.

So here he writes down hither and yon here, there and everywhere. If you put this on an envelope, I'll get it no matter where I am. But you have to put proper postage. You gotta put a stamp on it. You still have to. I don't know what the deal is. But if you don't. If you don't put a stamp on it, it comes, but it is ashes. Right. Right. And, uh, Kim folds it up really carefully and puts it in his breast pocket.

And he's like, can I, I mean, this might be weird cause I haven't seen you in a, in a couple of weeks, but like, can I hug you? Can I hug you? Yeah. Can we hug? We can, we can hug. Yeah. We can hug. We can hug. We can hug. And that's when, uh, Kim hugs him and feels like the new muscles that Mears has started putting on. And the little like. The weight that he's like a kind of solid guy now. Look, don't force anything with Darby. Don't rush anything. Don't end anything just for me.

But if you ever have the inclination, you know where to find me. Kim nods and he, he's like, yeah, yeah, I'll, I'll, I'll send you a letter. Okay. I hope you have a good night. I really missed you. I missed you too. We'll talk soon. Yeah. Okay. You right. Yeah, I will. Yeah. All right. Seriously. Where's the shitter? Oh my God. Yeah. Sorry. This is the bathroom. Sorry. I've been really holding it in. Yeah. Don't stand too close to the hole when you flush it or you will get sucked in.

You'll end up in my car. And Mears closes the bathroom door for him. And, uh, can you cut to what nimble is doing right now? Cut to nimble. Uh, I'm in the stock room with Darby and I, I've got a knife. I've got a knife. I've got a knife. I like this. Whoa. Whoa. Well, well, what was the goal of that last round? Having a memorable conversation or interesting? Interesting conversation. Okay.

And then, uh, so nimble goes, Hey, well, well, well, look who's having an interesting conversation with nimble. It's Mr. Darby. And Mears walks past the stock room and goes, Nimble, what the fuck are you doing? And nimble slams the door and jams the knife. Yes. And then you, you hear nimble go. And this one is a koala bear. He's showing him his sticker book. I don't know what a koala bear is. Look at it. That doesn't look like a bear at all. Look at it. It's a koala bear.

It looks like a little mouse. It's a fucking koala bear. Okay. All right. It's a koala bear. And this one is a little elephant. Okay. All right. Okay. It's an elephant. It's an elephant. I want you to steer clear of chem. Never get near him again. You hear me? All right. Okay. Whatever. He's spoken for. Okay. All right. All right. Why? I'm going to go. And before you leave, I want you to remember one thing is nimble. It's going to live forever. Okay.

And Darby shoves himself out the door and goes and sits down with chem, but keeps like looking over at the stock room and you see the stock room door open and a nine foot shark shuffle out on the ground. And then Rathgar looks at Darby. Uh-huh. And then he mows the ground. There's a ton of emotions. Raking his thumb across his neck like, don't you dare. And then at the same time, Darby feels like a finger go across his actual neck. Creepy. Creepy. We cut to Fatum.

Fatum's got Darby in the hallway. Oh my God. Like, held up by the scruff of his neck. And he's like, I don't know what you think you're doing here, but you are not welcome. Not your kind. And by your kind, I mean you, Darby, alone. Kim can do so much better than you. And by better, I mean he could do mirrors. Not in that way. You know. Not yet. But you know what I mean. So you should fucking back off right now. This kid's getting threatened so many times. He's getting threatened so many times.

Just for dating somebody. I know. We're being really mean. No, it's great. What I thought you were going to say was Fatum talks to him and he's like, if you keep going out with mirrors, I'm going to fuck your mom. What? Oh, she's a wine mom for sure. Oh. Oh my God. For sure. And so the night ends and they finish their meal and Darby's looking over at everybody else in the bar. And every time he looks at mirrors, mirrors is like, no, it's not. It's fine.

But he thinks he's doing the neck thing again. Yeah. Fatum's behind him going like, I'll fucking kill you. I'll fucking kill you. Doing the like slit across the neck thing. And he's like, he's got his chain and his tether ball in his hand. It's making those scary chain sounds with it. How are we not going to believe this? Kid in mortal terror. Well, this is essentially what we did to mirrors in season one. And all that's true. It's true. We do threaten children a lot. I know. I have no chill.

So mirrors tries to meet them at the door as they're leaving. And it's like, Hey Darby, I hope I, I hope you had a good time. I'm sorry for my friends. They're really intense. And Darby looks at mirrors and he puts a hand out to shake his hand. Yeah. And he goes to shake Darby's hand. And then Darby goes, I just want you to know that I treat lower class. People worse. Oh, thank God. Get the fuck out of here. You nerd. He's like, I pretend to tip, but I don't tip.

Even though I have a lot of money. You get out, get out of my, get out of my bar. Now I refuse to pay a shoe store. Sometimes you made your choice in how you live your life. I'm not paying for that. Oh my God. Get out. And the door closes and the night carries on pleasant mirrors. Thinking very suddenly of a letter he might receive in the future. Nice. So if you pass two or more challenges, which we did, we passed all three challenges. You succeed in impressing your guest.

The guest describes a lavish gift. They present to the tavern before they leave, which I think will actually be something we find maybe in the bar in the morning. Oh yeah. I was going to say, or because Darby didn't tip, but Kim left something behind. Yeah. So this gift helps you instantly upgrade one of your tavern ratings. So one of our ratings is going to go up. Oh, a Yelp stone. Guest describes the gift. Yelp stone's pretty funny.

So Kim left behind a note in an envelope with like a weird amount of money, but like quite a bit. So like. $63. Yeah. 63 coins. And a note saying, hi mirrors. It's Kim. From before. From before. Remember me? Darby was being a huge dick. So I took all his money. Here you go. I love. And he scratched that out. From Kim. P.S. Fix your bathroom. Yeah. All right. So which one of our things do we want to upgrade? Bathroom. Bathroom. Atmosphere, I guess. Bathroom. Okay. That's so. Yeah.

Would that be atmosphere? Do we think? Yes. What else is there? Structure? Service and cuisine. Let me just double check. What service? The lowest one. Yeah. Service is only one. Services are bathrooms. Bathroom would be one of our services we provide. It does represent your staff. But we are the staff. We're not hiring new staff. Yeah. The four of us is plenty. So we're going to hire a bathroom. Yeah. I like that. A sentient bathroom. We buy a toilet. Cheating me.

Our rating is now two, which means we now have a sentient toilet. No. Rathgard rigged the toilet to say that. He just put it on top of the trap door. Uh-huh. Yeah. So you're just pooping in the middle of a stage. So it looks more like an art thing. Wait. I thought the toilet was upstairs. Oh. It is. Yeah. The bathroom. The bathroom. The bathroom. The bathroom. The bathroom. The bathroom. The bathroom. The bathroom. It's taken apart to make the stage. Oh.

But the bathroom is still upstairs, isn't it? I thought the stage. Oh, God, no. It was the bathroom. No fucking way. Okay. Well, that's what we did talk about, though. Okay. Because it's made out of parts of the bathroom. So some people think it's a bathroom and have used the stage. Oh, yeah. Okay. It's very embarrassing. Okay. For that person. Well, the person is never embarrassed because they do it anyways. That's the weird part. Yeah. It's embarrassing for everybody else. Yeah.

It's embarrassing because you got to watch it all. Okay. So off the clock. It's been a while since you've all had a proper day off. Things are slower right now and you can get away with closing up for a day. Where do you go after the tables are wiped down? Anyone can play. Each player describes the first thing their character is doing to wind down, let loose, or otherwise forget about work for a while. And it's just everybody kind of does a scene about how they spend their time off. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. One at a time? Yeah. We'll do it one at a time. I can start. I think Hither and Yon has moved again. It's been a few weeks after Mears met Cam again and he's received a couple letters. Oh, wow. Oh, nice. Which has been nice. It's just like, hey, what's going on? School's really hard right now. I'm helping out at the offices of my parents. Actually, I think that's what it is. Mears goes to… The door is open one day on kind of like a nicely wooded hillside.

And he takes some paper to go write a letter back to Cam. Oh, nice. Which is difficult because he has to write with his left hand now that he's lost. Like, he's still getting used to writing with his left hand now that his right is metal. Oh. It's a little harder to hold. Nimble made him a thing. Oh, what is the thing? He took some of the gum from the gumball and he wrapped it around a pen. And he was like… Oh, yeah.

It'll make it feel like a normal pen because your hand's all fucking weird and metal. Thank you, Nimble. Thank you. And the gum is soft like a lady. Thanks. Thanks, Nimble. It's like you're writing with a lady. Okay. All right. I'm going to go. I'm going to go now. Okay. Thanks. Have a good day. Yeah. So, Mir sits down on a rock and has Nimble's clipboard and a piece of paper clipped to it. Nice. And starts writing, Dearest… No, that's too weird. Dear… No. Still too personal. Hello, Cam.

Hello there. Too casual. Too casual. Hi, Cam. Thank you for your letter. I read it 13 times. Don't tell me how many times you read it. I read it. And it's the best letter I've ever gotten. Sorry if this is messy. I'm not used to writing with my left hand. But I wanted to tell you that I've thought about you a lot since we left Winewood. I had a dream about you the other night.

And in it, we were in Mudlark, which is where I'm from, sitting next to the pond behind my house and looking at tadpoles. I looked at your eyes. They looked like two big… Bowls of… Soup… In brackets. That's good. We held hands. And when I woke up, I wish that I was actually able to hold your hand. Anyways, I gotta go. I'm excited for your next letter. Love. Nope. I don't know. Bye. Mears. And he folds it up. And he holds it in his hand. He thinks about it.

And then he nods and he gets up and he walks back to Hither and Yon. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. That's nice. So what does Nimble do with his time off? Nimble has been rummaging around in the Hither and Yon trying to find secrets. Okay. He's trying to find secrets. Nimble loves a secret and secrets make you live forever. Nimble's gonna live forever. So he's trying to like find clues to like what this place is. Like what? Who built it?

You're not gonna get a bunch of canonical information out of me that easy. I want you to know that. What can I do? You can just describe how Nimble uses his time off. This isn't a roll and find out new and exciting things. What if I roll these two dice? Nothing will happen. They always give snake eyes. Nothing will happen. And they get boxcars. Nothing will happen. Do it. Will you tell me one thing? Okay. If you get two sixes, I'll tell you one thing. Okay, guys. Oh my God.

I'm gonna go get a boxcar. I'm gonna go get a boxcar. Oh my God. Boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar. Oh, that's a shame. I got a four and a five. Damn. Too bad. So what does Nimble do with his time off? So he's digging around looking for secrets. He's trying to find secrets. And then he gets so angry that he doesn't find any secrets that he takes a bunch of pots that Fadum made and he throws them out.

He like drowns them in the lake. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. But under a carpet, he finds a letter that was addressed to Mears and he does grab it and he gives it to Mears. He's like, oh shit. Gotta give this to him. This is from Kem to Mears? No. From Mears to Kem. Nope. It's got Mears' name on it, but it's a letter that was just in the bar. Okay. Yeah. And he runs up to Mears when Mears is coming back from writing his story. Yeah. And he's like, hey Mears. What? You fucking chode. Whoa.

What's with the hostility, man? Sorry. I'm about to do something nice for you and I feel weird doing it. So I have to preface it with an insult. Okay. All right. You fucking… Do you want to give me that? Yeah. Okay. What is it? Where'd you find it? And then Nimble like looks so embarrassed and his face turns red and he's like, I found it under the carpet in the main room. Okay. We don't usually clean under there. We usually just stuff dust under there. You shouldn't be doing that.

I mean, don't fucking tell me what to do. And then he stabs Mears a little bit in the leg. What the fuck? Get out of here. Sorry. I feel weird doing nice things. You're the worst. Leave. Bye. Okay. Hmm. Mears. Well, that is my name. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Oh my God. How is… Who wrote this? Dear Mears, I will miss you. You are the bravest guy I have ever fought beside. Tuck. Huh. He really doesn't know how to write an E. There aren't a lot of backwards E's. Bet.

The weirdest part is that some of the E's are forwards and then some are backwards. Like he forgot how to write an E halfway through. I think Tuck was quite drunk when he wrote this. I have a feeling Tuck was very dyslexic at the time. It's the kind of thing that like when Tuck like put it, he like left it on Mears' stuff when he was leaving Heather and Jan and he like took one last look at it and he's like, this looks like Billy fucking wrote it.

I thought when you pulled it out, I thought it was him. I don't fucking believe that. He was like, God damn it. I gotta, I have to stop drinking so much. I'm gonna go to bed. I'm gonna go to bed. I gotta stop drinking so much. So what's Wrathgar do with his time off? Um, Mears comes into the back room and um, there's all this smoke in the room, but it's not usual smoke. Usually it's like, uh, you know, it's like atomized.

It has that chalky smell of a smoke machine always, but this is like smells sad. There's like a disparity to this room and the dankness. It's not like you can't see the smoke, but you feel it. It's like it's cloudy in your vision and your mind. Yeah. And in the middle of the room. Yeah. Wrathgar is sitting there. He doesn't have his usual flashy cloak on. He's just sitting in these, um, a red pajama onesie with a butt flap, but like they're all really mangy and tore up.

And he's sitting in front of a big burning candle and his body is twitching in this weird, Oh shit. Sort of jerky, jerky way. And his head is doing these awful spooky circles. And there's a, a strange presence in there. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman.

There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman.

That cool um fathom is having a self-care day so he's like having a shower he's um he's in the middle of shaving and his eyes like throbbing and like glowing or whatever like it's just like hot he's like fuck this like he's trying to splash water on it he's splashing water on it try to cool it down but nothing's doing anything and he remembers the torch giving him the eye and telling him this will not only help you see but it'll help you see into the darkness that's sick that's so sick fathom stops mid-shave and he starts washing it all he just wipes off all the soap and he's he's like something something's going on yeah he starts rummaging around the inn looks outside looks fine we're not anywhere weird and so he just he like sits there with his eyes shut and he opens them again and he's like oh my god this headache and he closes them trying to like block out the pain like he's got a migraine so he goes upstairs to his room to lay down and he's like bumping into the walls and kind of tripping up the stairs as he goes and his headache's just getting worse as he gets up to his room but he closes the door and he lays down in his bed and um he he presses the cold side of his pillow across his eyes and he's like no that's not helping and uh as he moves around tries to get comfortable and he's like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die thankfully he starts to fall asleep and he dreams he dreams of a hill and the wind is blowing through the grass and fathom is walking up the hill the wind blowing through his hair and he's so tired and his head hurts and the the closer he gets up to the top of the hill the more his head hurts but he knows in a way that he thinks I'll find relief up here and at the top he's huffing and puffing and he's sweating and he's like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die And the wind is blowing, but he doesn't really feel it.

And as he collapses into the grass, he looks up and sees fire ripping through a tree and watches as the leaves fall around him. Ash landing everywhere. Fucking sick. Oh, man. Now we got to end it there. Okay. You figured out you've got a Sean O'Hara ass cliffhanger. Yeah. Okay. So we're going to do that. And then that's where we're going to end it. Yeah. It's a Charles Eve special with zero Charles Eve in it, but that's too cool. Okay.

Thank you for joining us, everybody, for Charles Eve at Hither and Yon, the least Charles Eve-y Charles Eve special we've ever done. Thank goodness. It was Charles Eve when Phantom was trying to fuck Allison. Yeah. Exactly. And actually, that's probably why Wrathgar was trying to get in there. Oh, could be. Yeah. Because he was attracted to the demon. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's feeding off the feeder. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So, yeah.

Thanks for joining us for Charles Eve at Hither and Yon, our special where we play. We've been playing a heavily modified and shortened version of Stew Pot by Takuma Okada. Thank you again to Takuma for sending us the most current playtest version. So kind. And sorry. Yeah. Sorry. So sorry. This is but a taste of the things that Stew Pot is capable of. I've had a lot of fun. With apologies to the creator of Stew Pot will be the name of this episode. Totally. Yeah. We did our best. We did.

We spent way too long creating characters. And then we we took a break between character creation and playing the episode to talk to Aaron Reed and eat 31 pounds of chicken. Yeah. So it is our fault. In a way, we kind of Stew Pot ourselves. The true Stew Pot was in our hearts all along. Check out Stew Pot in the future will be published through Evil Hat Productions. So keep an eye out for any crowdfunding campaigns.

Coming up, which you can find at at Evil Hat official on Twitter, or you can follow Takuma at at Takuma T-A-K-U-M-A underscore. Okay. A D-A underscore at Twitter. And I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing nimble. Gonna live forever. Abdul Aziz. Nimble's gonna live forever. Playing Rathgar, the Nightblade, Paul Hoppers. And my blade. And playing Fatum, the Hammer, Adam, Jessica Tai. And my blade. And my blade. And my blade. And my tetherball on a chain.

If you want to get more Spout Lore in your life, this is a pretty good example of the kind of stuff that you can get on our Patreon. Yeah. So check us out at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money, please. And you can find our brand new merch with our new merch partner, Fantasy by Numbers at fantasybynumbers.ca slash spout. No, wait. Spout Lore.com slash merch. Or fantasybynumbers.ca slash Spout Lore. Or fantasybynumbers.ca slash Spout Lore. Thanks for listening.

We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without. The resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore. Thank you.