Season Seven: Makaal

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hi everybody, welcome our dear friends and suspenders We are now in season seven of Spout Lore And everybody has changed over the course of our campaign What the fuck Paul, are you serious?

Jessica, gross!

I don't know if the mics picked that up, but Paul loudly farted The mics picked that up Yeah, that was incredible Wow, wow I'm just floored Also in my direction Yeah, totally Way to set the fucking stench for the season, Paul Just amazing Listen, it makes sense, we're going to McCall, it's salty It's sulfury Yeah Exactly And since we're in McCall, totally new setting We've decided that as everyone has reached level ten in their original playbooks We're going to transition, instead of going to compendium classes and extending those classes further We're rolling it back, we're gonna go back to level one with whole new classes And that's what we're gonna be doing today Is figuring out what those classes are going to be How is that different from compendium classes, what we're doing now?

A compendium class, what we were gonna do with the compendium classes Was we were just gonna add one to each of your classes Which would functionally make you level eleven, level twelve, level thirteen, etc Just like, basically artificially extend the classes as they were Okay But this way, everybody's gonna have access to like a bunch of new moves Instead of the, it's usually like five to six new moves for a compendium class But this we're gonna make like whole new things Middle school Do we get to keep like our old moves?

You will keep some of them Oh, okay You won't have access to all of them Basically what we'll do first is we'll go through your classes and we'll decide what the moves are that are like integral to the character Yeah And we'll choose those and then we'll get rid of everything else Cool Yeah So, who wants to go first? Tuck Abdul?

Okay I have the least figured out Oh, okay No, you don't Okay Yeah, nobody has anything figured out Jessica has the most like concrete class stuff, I guess I could go first Okay, yeah, then Sure, you do it Is that cool?

100% Yes, please Please Okay, okay Because then we'll see how, what we're supposed to do Cool, I will fuck it up And then we won't do that That's fine Okay So, basically what we did with Jessica is I created a whole new class Like I made a playbook called The Fairy That's so cool I guess The Fairy, like we decided that Billy was going to become full on focused More focused on being a fairy because of his exposure to the like extreme energy at the eye of the storm Yeah At Lillian's tomb Oh Because he went into like almost like a transition Like he remembers like his roots And so, I think that's why it made more sense for me Yeah But he still has like a lot of, like we kept a lot of his kind of like thiefy aspects Like the, more like the trickster Cool Yeah Let's go through and talk about the thief stuff that you want to keep first I do like tricks of the trade And I like trap expert Mm-hmm I don't think I'll keep flexible morals Mm-hmm Or poisoner I didn't use, like I use poisoner a bit But I feel like that's like not as legit to Billy anymore Yeah, flexible morals never ever came up No And probably won't because we don't really have magic in our world No Oh, is it a magic thing?

Flexible morals is when someone tries to detect your alignment which is usually done magically You can tell them any alignment you like Oh Yeah Useless Useless Literally the word that popped into my head Yeah Useless Yeah, absolutely useless Okay, so of the advanced moves that you have Mm-hmm What is like, what are the ones that you're like, this is key to Billy?

Oh, connections for sure Yes Oh yeah, we gotta fucking find nimble again Yeah Oh man, my goodness Nimble I like shoot first Mm-hmm Um, I also like I also kinda like wealth and taste, I think Yeah Okay Yeah Sure, sure Man, it was such an ordeal for you to get that every time I was like, I don't understand how it works Yeah I don't get it And then I used it and it made sense It kinda did, yeah, yeah It was pretty funny I don't know, I mean like if you guys think I should get rid of it, that's okay No, no, no But I just think it's so funny This isn't up to you, this isn't up to anybody else But it's like, it's the same conversation again where it's like, you're like, I kinda like wealth and taste And you can just see my face go, fuck Yeah, cause you're like, there's all these other cool ones, Jessica And I was like, nah No, that one makes the most sense for you, absolutely Yeah Um, I'll lose brewer and envenom Mm-hmm Um, I like escape route Mm-hmm Yeah, you just got that too Yeah And I think also like as a fairy, he would probably be, like he can kinda shift in and out Totally Um, I'll lose disguise because there's a move that you made for me later on that is so Mm-hmm, yeah, I'm gonna go with that And I'll lose evasion as well Cool So, make a note, yeah, just make a note like of the ones that you're keeping And then I guess we'll, I mean as sad as it is to say, we'll make new character sheets Ugh, and then I'll sell these No, I'm kidding, I'll keep them forever Yeah, $10,000 listeners Yeah I don't give a shit if you're already donating Actually, I bet people would want your character sheets As weird as that is to think about Mm I'll keep them for now Yeah, you can't have them I might have drawn a lot of ding-a-lings No, I didn't actually, just a lot of ladies on the back No, I've got the ding-a-lings Oh yeah, you do Yeah I have a bunch of poems on the back of my Oh, that's beautiful I think that is very indicative of us as people Yeah Something I realized I didn't figure out for the fairy is the alignment or racial moves But we can figure those out probably Oh, okay And Tuck, I mean based on the setting, is probably not an outsider anymore, or an outlander Oh, okay I'm gonna go with Tuck Oh, fuck I lose outlander moves Wow Fuck Is there an inlander?

Yeah, is there another way I can monologue for 15 minutes? Yeah, can I be outlander? I mean, yeah, one of you is probably, I mean, I was actually thinking about this What?

Ving takes the outlander move from me And then we start talking about the great forest You piece of shit I vote for that, sorry No, fuck you guys No I quit the podcast Well, no, because the thing is, is that if you think about it, I mean, it depends on where we think we're gonna go next, because I swear to God, if this becomes not a podcast, I'm gonna quit the podcast If this becomes not 100% about me, I'm leaving Abdul, you're already making Jessica's character creation about you But I think we should think about that, because I think it's a cool idea, because like all of Tuck's, like the last three years of these outlander moves have made McCall into this place Oh, yeah And now we're like gonna explore it, which is really cool That's sick There's also a little element of like, Tuck is full of bullshit He can keep up some of his outlanders that are totally untrue Well, and actually, depending on if you end up being a bard, you get moves like that, like you get to talk more, basically Oh, cool Well, actually, with bardic That's all I really wanted, I'm fired up One of the things, because bardic lore, how it works is you choose your area of expertise Sean, this is Jessica's time Ving's gonna be a bard, too Sean's quitting the podcast No, no, no, I'm actually just realizing that I'm gonna go put on some deodorant, I'll be right back Okay Can I borrow some of your deodorant?

Oh, me too Is it weird if we all use the same deodorant? No, it's, I don't care We put it on first And then I'll go second What? This is bullshit Well, I forgot my deodorant Do you want the deodorant? You go first Okay, and then Abdul and then Paul? I forgot mine in the truck, and Aaron has the truck I never wear it Paul, do you use some crystal for deodorant? I do Fuck Does it work? It does What the fuck?

Not Okay, so, yeah, those are the moves that Jessica's gonna keep for Billy, which is great, good stuff I'm gonna go with the crystal Okay, so, yeah, those are the moves that Jessica's gonna keep for Billy, which is great, good stuff I'm gonna go with the crystal Okay, so, yeah, those are the moves that Jessica's gonna keep for Billy, which is great, good stuff So, what are the basic moves? Do you wanna read through the basic moves for the fairy? Yeah, should I give the descriptions?

Cool, yes, please Yeah, sure Okay, so, the first one is Willow the Wisps Your fairy nature allows you to perform minor magical effects, such as lights, crude illusions, and sounds Crude illusions Yeah That's gonna be great for Abdul So Yeah Do you wanna make a joke? You can Do you wanna make a joke?

Your hands are already making a joke Yeah, it's just like, hey guys, look, this is an illusion of Tuck fucking Ving Ew It's too crude It's too crude Too crude, Billy So many parents you're talking about I guess, yeah And how do you think you got to be?

Yeah, you came out of our penises So gross Billies don't grow on trees, Billy Billy's like, yeah, I do Okay, small changes to your appearance, the appearance of other or your surrounding Yeah, so, I'm gonna go with the crystal So, I'm gonna go with the crystal So, I'm gonna go with the crystal So, I'm gonna go with the crystal So, I'm gonna go with the crystal So, I'm gonna go with the crystal There's a ton of different kind of spells written about wizard spells Nice pronunciation of prestidigitation, which I'm not sure you've ever said.

So yeah, prestidigitation is a cantrip in the wizard class, which reads, you perform minor tricks of true magic. If you touch an item as part of the casting, you can make cosmetic changes to it, clean it, soil it, cool it, warm it, flavor it, or change its color. Flavor it. Exactly. And if you cast the spell without touching an item, you can instead create minor illusions no bigger than yourself. Prestidigitation illusions are crude and clearly illusions.

They won't fool anyone, but they might entertain them. No bigger than yourself is a real. That's really good. Yeah. But that's a big stack of pancakes. It is. But yeah, so I can imagine, you know, Billy can make like a little colorful shape that looks like a bird. No one's going to think it's a bird, but they're going to be like, oh, that's cute. Yeah. No one's going to think it's a bird. So it doesn't look realistic. No, they won't fool anybody, but they might entertain them. Like a hologram.

Oh, so in like a busker. Yeah. Or like little lights. Nice. So the other move. I like the idea that Jessica's walking up the busker. You're not fooling anybody, buddy. Put that bongo away, you moron. So fairy child's move. You are a fairy, a nature spirit bound to material form. At the beginning of each day, roll plus charisma. On a 10 plus, hold five. On seven to nine, hold three. And on a six minus, hold one. Any unused points do not carry over and may be replenished each morning at sunrise.

Pretty cool. At any time, you may spend a point one for one for one of the following effects. Create a convincing illusion. Vanish from sight. Charm an individual for a short while. Overcome your weakness momentarily. Switch two objects within view. Switch? Yeah. So it's like he has a key in his pocket. I have a rock. I'm going to switch them. I have the key. That's what I was thinking. He has the rock. That's really sick, too. Yeah, that kind of stuff. Fuck. We'll talk about it. Yeah.

And if you fuck it up, then you open your hand. And one of his balls is in your hand. You're like, oh, no. Or you have two. You have two rocks. And he has two keys. You're like, wait, hold on. How did this happen? Oh. And then the last basic move is cold iron and clover. As a fairy, you are bound by certain natural laws. Work with the GM to determine your weakness and record it.

While you're exposed to your weakness, minus one ongoing until you're able to rest for a few hours unburdened by its source. Cold iron and clover sounds really cool. Except why would I want it? I think it's like the kind of thing where it's like it's a consequence of being a fairy. Yeah. Less a move and more like this is your weakness. My curse. Yeah. Although maybe there is a thing that we can add that's like a benefit. What's my weakness? Yeah. What is your weakness?

That's a good starting point. Advice. Yeah. Gravy. Gravy stuff. Yeah. Salt seems to be one. Salt. Cream. Milk. Is it just that you're lactose intolerant? I think so. I think I'm just lactose intolerant. So now you can't have any dairy at all and you take minus one ongoing until you're able to rest for a couple hours. Your eyebrows are doing a thing right now. I know because I feel it. Okay. What about. Okay. How about this?

So when you encounter your weakness, maybe you roll for it like you roll constitution or something like that to to resist it. Okay. Because how because how cream and milk and stuff work in folklore is you leave cream out for berries and they're like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I love cream. But maybe it's like Billy. You have to like resist the urge. Yes. To drink the cream. And if you resist it, if you succeed in the role, then you're immune to it for the day. Okay. Does that make sense? Yeah.

Does that sound like a benefit? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So it means that you're like you can. Yeah. I guess if you resist it. Then you're like, okay, it's not going to affect me. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got it. What about warm milk? What if we could change it to warm milk and honey? Yeah. The name of the move. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. So the weaknesses are warm milk and honey. Okay, guys, hear me out. Okay. Here we go.

So if you roll your what should we constitution charisma? I think constitution makes sense to me. Constitution makes sense. Charisma feels more fairy like. Yeah. That's the tough thing. But he has to have strength to avoid what he wants. Okay. Constitution. It is. Sounds good. So if you resist it, you don't take that minus one ongoing. But you get an additional fairy child hold. Okay. So if I resist. Yeah. So you have a weakness. So you have a potential.

You can potentially fuck yourself up or you can power yourself up. Yeah. I like it. Okay. So I take. I take a little pill. If I win, I take a pill to have the milk. Like a lactate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I feel like the pill is your true fairy self. Like Billy, the boy. Oh, yeah. Is allergic to milk. But the fairy is drawn and wants it and thrives off it. So when you are able to use your face self to resist the Billy effects, then you've got you're more fairy that day than Billy.

That makes so much sense. That's so cool. That makes sense. There we go. Thank you. Yeah. We got it. Yeah. That's more full move now. Yeah. I'm glad that we all got to talk about that. Thank you. Cool. Does it. So does that all seem. I like it. Worth it to you. Yep. And you have some advanced moves that we can talk about later or now or whatever. But cool. Okay. So. Cool class, guys. Good job. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Sean. And Paul and Abdul.

And once it's a fuller class, then I think I'll make it available. That's a great idea. For download for free. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Cool. So we need to think about Billy's alignment. Oh, I would like to keep it chaotic. And do you want to keep it leap into danger without a plan? Or do you think it is explored in a different way now? You're going to keep it? I think so. Cool. I think that's still like very like true to his himself. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In terms of the racial move.

Do you think that you have a different thing now? Because it's probably not like. Yeah. Who are you racist against? Oh. Oh. The halfling. Yeah. We attack with a ranged weapon. Yeah. That came in really handy. Oh, your ranged weapons are so cool. But do you. Should we change it? Like, is it more fairy-ish stuff now? I think I'll keep the halfling thing. Cool. Can't think of anything else. No, that's great. That sounds perfect. Cool. Okay. So that's Billy the fairy. Cool. Magic. Magic. Okay.

So who wants to go next? Yeah. I don't know. I might as well work through the slog that is going to be this. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's talk about Ving. Okay. So what we did, what I did was take a bunch of potential classes from class warfare. Yeah. And send them to you. Yes. And ask you to choose two to three. Sure. And have you done that? Yes. Okay. Cool. So what are we thinking? Jessica, I have not done that. Oh, no. Okay. Fine.

No, I kind of did. I kind of did. I know. We talked about it a little bit. So we're basically going to be making a class called the Spirit Walker. That's the plan. Oh, so sick. Wow. And we're going to use components from class warfare to do it. Yeah. So what have you been thinking? Should I talk about the ones that I sent you first? You send me the Elementalist. Yeah. The Elementalist is basically a bunch of advanced moves built on fleshing out elemental mastery. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I think that makes a lot of sense for Ving because there's been many times throughout the podcast where I was like, I don't want to do that anymore. Shape shifting. He's moving away from shape shifting. Yeah. And taking animal forms. Yeah. Cool. Oh, so actually, let's talk about the druid moves that you do want to keep. Yeah. Great. Okay. Yeah. So what are you keeping? Do you think? I'm going to keep Eyes of the Tiger. Yeah. That makes sense. Oh, yeah.

I'm not going to transform in them anymore, but I think having some communion with them. Well, because you still have Cloud Piercer or whatever, right? Yeah. The bird. And Cloud Piercer's still tagged. Wait, but do you still have the bird? I mean. We'll find out. I guess we'll find out. In my heart of hearts. It hurts. Okay. But you're going to keep the Eye of the Tiger move. We know that much. Yeah. I think that makes sense because it's a great scouting move. Oh, yeah.

It's almost like Ving's offering himself more to the animal than to take from the animal. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Spirit Tongue. You're keeping that? Talk to animals? Yeah. I'm losing Shape Shifter. You're losing Shape Shifter? So you don't even want to have the potential to have access to it. It's gone. Whoa. That's a big move. That's huge. That's huge. That's huge. That's huge. I will lose Shape Shifter. Whoa. That's fucking huge. I can't turn into an owl anymore.

I just can't do it. I'm going to say right now we're not changing the theme song. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Well, because I'm going to keep. I would like to keep. Oh, can I not keep Elemental Mastery? No, you can keep Elemental Mastery. Yeah. But that's not Shape Shifting. That's Form Crafter. You can change into. Oh, no. Oh, no. Any move that you have that's connected to Shape Shifter, you won't keep. So you can change into Elements. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. Not Animals. No. No, no, no.

Not to give up too much of the goods. One of the six to ten moves in Elementalist is Elemental Form. So he could eventually get to the point where he could turn into Elements. Okay. But, yeah, Ving has no access to the ability to change his shape. Me, like, if fans are feeling what I'm feeling, it is a slight betrayal. This is why I want to bring it to the table. I'm not in Season 7, baby. I'm not settled on it. I don't want to betray anyone. I'm a big fan of shaking it up like that.

I think that it's, like, a good thing. I think also narratively it makes sense because he was having, like, issues, you know. Constantly. Yeah. Emotional conflict about changing into animals after he'd, like, been in the spirit world. Yeah. That trip fucked you up forever, Hank. Yeah. Good lord. And that's awesome from a narrative standpoint. Ving went to the spirit world one time and it changed him forever. Yeah. Just like camp. Yeah. When you go to camp, you touch a boob for the first time.

Yeah. I went to a poor kid's camp. What are you talking about? They said me because I was poor. Yeah, but okay. So, I personally, I'm a big fan of you losing shape-shifting. I think that's cool. I think it's cool, too. And I think it's impactful for both the character and the audience. Totally. I think it's a thing that Ving is going to struggle with. Yeah. Like, going forward. I don't think I'm going to lose by nature sustained because that's just forging. Yeah. It wasn't magic stuff.

It was just you picking up food. It seems like magic sometimes. It does, right? You just pick up a handful of dirt. There's free food everywhere. There's seeds in this dirt. I promise. Did you know you could eat spruce tips? Yeah, we know. They're disgusting. Cool. Okay. Yeah. Study Dyson's gone. Eye of the Tiger. So, Formcrafter, gone. Gone. Thing Talker, gone. Oh, no. Thing Talker stay. Yeah. Thing Talker stay. I can still do it. But you can't shape-shift into those things. Yeah.

Like, you can talk to rocks and plants, but you can't become rocks and plants. Oh, man. I don't really use that a lot. I'm always like, hey, raccoon, where'd he go? It could have been, like, the beach. Where is he? Yeah, totally. Like, you could pick up… You could just go to a tree and be like, what's up? Because everything has a spirit. Everything has a spirit in it. Actually, Billy… Sorry to interrupt.

Billy has a later move that allows him to talk to the fairy spirits that reside in things. Oh, cool. Oh, man. Are the fairy spirits different from, like, the spirit of rock? Oh, so cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that should be a basic move, actually. Oh, sure. Really? You know what I mean? To give her more in her arsenal? Just… I just… Yeah. Yeah. Because, I mean, it is really… Like, it's literally just you can see and speak to fairies.

That doesn't seem like something that you should have to choose to do. That's almost the second level move of the, like, nimble move. Oh. Where it's like you can see and speak to urchins, and then it's like you can see and speak to fairies. To the spirit of fairies and urchins. If you guys… If you guys want someone to still be able to… Talk to stuff. But I wouldn't be able to talk to, like, the spirit of rock, for instance. No, I know.

I like that difference that I'll be talking to a rock, but you can talk to a rock if it has a… If it's a fairy rock. Yeah. That'd be cool. That's cool. Also, that's such a cool idea where it's like, this rock has a fairy in it. It's something that a kid would say. Yeah. And it's like, sure, kid. But, like, to Billy, there's a fairy sitting on the rock, like, don't believe you, huh? Well, yeah. And also, Ving would be like, no, I can't communicate. Yeah. There's, like, something else in there.

Should we keep that in an advanced move? Or should that be… I think that's Jessica's call. I would like to keep a basic move, actually. Cool. Yeah. Okay. So Billy can see and speak to fairies. That makes sense. Because that doesn't… Now that I'm thinking about it, it doesn't make sense as a thing that you'd have to, like, really work for if you're a fairy. Cool. Okay. So six to ten things. What else did you take? Chimera. Chimera, gone. Actually, it's kind of easy.

You basically just lose access to all of the shapeshifting moves, including form shaper, form crafter, chimera. Just make a note of the ones that you're keeping and losing access to. Anything shapeshifty, gone. Pretty sick. Big changes, season seven. And in terms of the classes that you're keeping as part of the spirit walker. I guess I keep sister stalker. Yeah, because that's how you got access to animal companion. If you're keeping animal companion. I want to be able to have the bird.

That's what the pendant is for. It's for calling on the bird or having a connection with the bird. I think then you still do have an animal companion. I think that I… You just have, like, a very independent animal companion. But in the situations where the bird shows up and you fight together, you would get, like, whatever bonus. Yeah. But it's probably not there all the time like it was in the last half of, like, season six. And honestly, now that time has passed, he's probably, like, older.

Because he was an adolescent, right? Well, yeah. And he's fighting in the elite squadron now. Right. He's been recruited. Thronebreaker was like, I'm gone. I'm going to go fuck stuff up. Yeah. So maybe he went with Thronebreaker. They're called the Anvil Crawlers. What? It's a type of lightning. Cool. Crawls across the top of the Anvil Clubs. Whoa. Yeah. I don't know. That's sick. I don't… Yeah. So he's just off having adventures on his own. Yeah. He's being trained. He's elite for us. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Cool. Cool. Cool. I love this bird very much. Me too. Yeah. And I like it being a little distant. Me too. Yeah. Because you've grown. He's grown. Yeah. And he's like the class of the squadron clown because he likes to perform. Yeah. He does tricks. Hey, guys. Look at this. Hey, guys. Look at this. Hey, check it out. Cloud Piecer's doing that thing that humans do when they fuck. I love that they are saying that they don't know what it is, but they know the word fuck. Okay.

So Elementalist. Yes. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense. Your basic move from Elementalist is Elemental Mastery. That's it. You get access to other ones. Later. Including Born of Fire. You are no longer harmed by the touch of fire, nor are you vulnerable to heat. Yeah. It's so cool. Whoa. Yeah. There's another one. Heart of Ice. You can walk easily on the ice and no longer vulnerable to freezing. Oh, my God. No matter how cold or slippery it gets. Friend of the Sea.

You can live, breathe, and move underwater with ease. I'm going there. That is so sick. Yeah. The ice one especially. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's fucking great. And there's also Nature's Fury. When you use the natural elements to deal damage, your damage die is a D10. So then using those elements rather than animal forms to get to that D10 damage. I like that. And that's like fucking pulling a rock out of the ground and firing it at somebody. Cool. Fucking like Avatar.

What were the other ones that I saw? Oh, one of the other ones. The Martial Artist. Martial Hero. Yeah. Martial Hero. So Martial Hero is like you're a monk, basically. It's all physical fighting. It's like perfecting your body. Like the first, the starting move for that is called Fight with Honor. Sorry. I just remembered how much you talked about Ving doing Qigong at the weekend. Yeah. And it's because I learned that Paul's been doing Qigong for years, apparently. Yeah.

He just does it on a rock. Which rock? I don't know. He just said a rock. Cool. So cool. That's the name of a rock, not a mossy rock. Yeah. So the starting move for Martial Hero, Fight with Honor, means you, get hold that you can spend to do cool shit during a fight. Block a blow meant for someone else. Break free from bonds. I'm never, or fists of fury are never unarmed. Your body and each of your limbs has a weapon. Yeah.

Now that the shape-shifting stuff is done, is Ving's body still messed up? It's still, yeah. It's still different? That's locked into his physical form. Right. So he's got gills. He's got crystal limbs. That kind of thing. Cool. He won't lose that stuff. Does the moss? Yeah. Does the moss act as a prosthetic now? Or has that hand grown back? It's like there's a crystal armature and the moss is over top. Oh, cool. So it looks like moss, but underneath it's like rock hard crystal. Yeah.

Is it a thing where you wear a glove most of the time so people don't see that your hand is like. Now that we're trying to be a little bit more. Yeah. Same as having the long hair over his gills. Oh, yeah. Just to be 100% clear. What fists of fury means is that you. For the purposes of actual fights and defy danger and stuff like that, you're never considered as being unarmed. Whereas like if Tuck had no.

If Tuck didn't have his axe and someone had a spear, you'd have to work to get past that spear. I have a spear that I carry with me always. Moving on. It's my cock. Yeah, we're aware. Yeah. Yeah. So that's. No, get away from me. It's my cock. I'm aware. I thought you were going for a spear. Yeah. Yeah. So is martial hero one that speaks to you? At all?

Because the way that I thought about it was martial hero would be an interesting idea or an interesting way of being trying to come to terms with the fact that he can't change shape anymore. So he's like developing fighting styles based off the animals. Yeah. So it's like, okay, how did I fight when I was an elk? And how can I like use that as a person? Cool. You know what I mean? Yeah. I like that a lot. Yeah.

And it is like the kind of thing where it's like you get broken up with and you start going to the gym. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Totally. I actually imagine like a lot of like wherever you guys are living, you finding thing and he's just like meditating, doing those like weird breathing exercises. Like he's like flexing his abs and moving around. You're like, are you okay? And he's like, like Edward Norton from the first. Exactly. That's exactly what I was thinking.

But if you got to just a few minutes before he was like all slunched and like hanging out and like picking his nose. And then he hears the door open. Oh, hello, friend. Sorry. I was meditating. I was master. Tending. Meditating. I was meditating. Oh, I was meditating. Yeah. I think it's a really cool idea, but it is something that considers the fact that it's a very fighty thing. Most of it is fighting. Yeah. We don't really fight that much. I don't know.

It depends how you want the character to change, though. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, I'll admit that I am just I think martial hero is a cool evolution for Ving. I mean, there's one move that would be potentially very. No, it would just think it would just. Yeah. Introduce a new. Oh, okay. Is that why? No, no, no, no. There's one move that you don't have to pick, but it's called Buddy Movie. And it's sick. It's it's animal companion for a person. Oh, what?

You get a sidekick and they can, like, help you fight and defend and all that shit. You just get like, oh, my God. Nimble. Wait, can he make one of us his sidekick? No. Come on. We can do that. No. Just for like a trilogy. No, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. But it makes sense. Narratively. Remember, we're talking about mechanically. No. How people were like, hey, there's that God that called the storm and his two butlers that he traveled. Yeah.

I understand narratively, but mechanically it doesn't make any sense. Okay. But what about if it did make sense? Okay. Good point. No. Maybe. But it's also not one that you have to pick. Okay. So Sage. Okay. Sage. The starting move for Sage is called. Consult Sage. When another PC comes to you for advice about something important and you tell them what you honestly think is best, they get a plus one forward when following your advice. Sick. That's great.

At the end of a session, if any PCs benefited from the following advice, you get to mark XP. Whoa. We should ask him tons of questions. Oh, man. They're going to be so much bad advice, too. Yeah. It's a great idea. It's a great way to get a plus one forward. If you're like, you know what I think you should do? I think you should beat the shit out of him. He sounds like an asshole. And they're like, okay, cool. Plus one. Jump out a window. And you get access to moves like Fount of Knowledge.

When you Spout Lore about something no one else has any clue about. Take plus one. I know this work. When you encounter an interesting artifact, construction, or device, you get to roll plus wisdom and you get some interesting questions. Yeah. Sage might be a good choice. I like it. It sounds fun. Yeah. So it's basically just you are a wise person that knows a lot of things. Yeah. Well, and also in the spirit of moving forward, Sage is great. But do you actually like it? Yeah. Okay.

I think I do. Also, you could change it. Yeah. We can change whatever we want. Like, you know, nothing is set in stone. So if you're like, no, you know what? I do want Ving to just be a fighty guy now. You can always just be like, nah, change it. Let's change it back. The Fists of Fury. Yeah. So we can just go with two as well instead of three if you don't feel strongly about it. Oh, wait. We were going to do three. Well, why not? Sage and then Fists of Fury guy. Yeah. Yeah. You could do that.

Yeah. Cool. Oh, cool. So Ving is like a spiritual, has become this like spiritual monk. Oh, cool. Who calls on the elements to like fight. Great. That's awesome. Yeah. That's pretty tight. That's sick. And that's the spirit walker. Yep. Spirit puncher. Hell yeah. So the starting moves for those three are consult Sage, which is the one where when a PC. So when tuck or a Billy comes to ask you a question and see what you think you email Sage Latoura and then Sage Latoura will tell you exactly.

He lets you know what he had. I wonder if he'll give me his phone number. That'd be a lot easier. I don't have to use a computer. Hey, they use the move again. What do I do here? What do I do? What the fuck are you doing now? Who are you? How did you get this number? Hi, it's me. It's Ving. And then the starting moves you get from Marshall here are fight with honor. Yep. Which is really cool. Move. Fist of fury. Fist of fury. And then elementalist. The starting move is elemental mastery. Yep.

Great. Oh, dope. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. That that has a very cool like those moves paint a very cool picture in my head. Yeah, me too. Fighting with that water. Yeah. Fire. Yeah. But with honor. Yeah. I like that. And because I want to keep the elementary mastery because if I do have the crystal, that's my way of cheating. I think I can still master the elements that are existing on my body. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Ving's alignment. Yep. Do you think it's the same or do you want to change it?

I'm going to keep the alignment is good. Good. Cool. And are you going to do one of the new good ones? Are you going to do the. No, I'll stick with my own. Make someone or some help someone or someone grow. Yeah. And your racial thing. Do you want a new one of those? Or do you want the elf sage one? Because you seem to like that one. Yeah. Sorry. What was that one again? You have lived a long, long life. When you Spout Lore about historical events, you may roll wisdom instead of intelligence.

What's the martial hero one? The martial hero ones for elf are as long as you have chi left, you may defend with dexterity instead of constitution and hack and slash with dexterity instead of constitution. So as long as you have one point from fight with honor, you can use dexterity instead of strength for most things. Cool. Is your strength pretty high though? Yeah. You have plus two strength. Yeah. And your dexterity is plus one, but you have a debility in dexterity too. Oh, cause of the hand.

Yeah. Although that might be resolved with the moss. Yeah, probably. I think the moss is, I think skin. Yeah. I think any debilities that people have, those have been wiped away by now. Fuck yeah. Oh man. My diarrhea is gone. Thank God. No, that's still there. No. That's a debilitation, not a debility. Yeah. Duck has debilitating diarrhea. Yeah. We should get tested for parasites. Guys, we should. Yeah. Ever since we ate that, uh, yeah. Rock crab. Yeah. That sun warmed rock crab. Rock crab.

Soaked in, like, let me dip in the ocean. For flavor. We were fucking desperate. You know how many parasites live on the surface of the ocean? Me neither. Probably a million. Um, yeah. So which one of those do you think you want? The sage elf. Yeah. Sage elf. Cool. Which is, you just, you can, uh, Spout Lore about historical stuff with wisdom. Yeah. Tight. Oh, sick. Cool. All right. That is Ving. We did it. That was an hour. That happens. It's character creation. It's fine, man.

We're digging into stuff. Oh yeah, no, I know it's fine, but I was like, this is going to take longer than an hour. We're setting up the next half of our story. Yeah. Half of our lives. Yeah. Yeah. The next three years of games, probably. Sure, I'm getting hungry. Yeah, I am. You're right. Okay. Tacoma Dome. Mm-hmm. Barbarian. Mm-hmm. Still, culturally, a barbarian. Yes. Mechanically, something else. Who knows? Who can say? So what have you and I talked about? I don't know. We talk a lot, man.

What have you and I talked about? Stop being so disappointed in me. Stop being deliberately chaotic. So we talked about a couple things in terms of class stuff. Wait, do we want to make the whole thing? Because we could do Bard first, if you want. Let's figure out the secondary one first. Okay. So, Impervious. We're doing Bard for sure. So we're trying to think, of what second one? Yeah. And can it, could it, if I don't like any of these, could it potentially be Barbarian and Bard?

And just those two? Ooh. That'd be cool. Like keep my old, and do just that new one? I guess. But you wouldn't have access to like, as much. Talk simple. Okay. Potentially. Yeah, potentially. Yeah. We would just, we would be doing it differently than we would be doing, than we would be doing the other two. Mm-hmm. Which is fine. I'm also special, so that makes sense. Oh, God. Here we go. So, Impervious is all about being super tough. Impervious.

Your path in life is to face danger, head on, and defy it. That is pretty tough. Yeah. The starting move is Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken. Which he's done kind of a lot. Yeah. When you prepare yourself to endure some hardship without fighting back, roll plus constitution. On a hit, you can either take half damage, or you can completely ignore one other I'll effect. That's kind of classic Tuck, where he just like walks into something, and it's just like, hit me. Yeah, exactly.

That's on a hit, any hit, seven to nine, 10 plus, whatever. But on a 10 plus, you can also defeat, expose, or frustrate your oppressor with your stubbornness. Yeah. Wow. That's so funny. Which is very much a Tuck thing. But they're just trying to hit you, and they're like, why won't you go down? So then the advanced moves are Bloody Ages. If I grit my teeth and accept a blow, do I have to like accept it willingly? Like, yes, daddy, please give it to me. Yeah. You have to go, I hear you do that.

So that sound that Tuck always makes me goes, Oh, like, oh, no, please. Don't hit me. Oh, boom. That's pretty funny as his Bloody Ages thing. It's just like, okay, you gotta take this hit. Okay, so how Bloody Ages works is if you take damage, you can choose to take a debility and negate the damage. Okay. So you can take up to six, debilities and negate up to six attacks. Cool. He hits me in the face and I shit my pants. Exactly. Take a debility to charisma on go.

He hits me in the face and I shit my pants. He hits me in the face and I piss myself. He hits me in the face and I barf. Yeah. So, like, this seems like a pretty tough move. Cool. I like that one. What's one of the other ones? Let's see. Strong arm. Strong arm is all about being really strong. Strong of arm. Strong of arm. Strong of arm. Strong of arm. Strong of arm. Strong of arm. Strong of arm. Strong of arm. Dumb of ass. Starting move is muscle bound. A move I think you already have. Oh.

Smash it. If I choose the strong arm specialty, I get to take two loads. Oh yeah. Yeah. You can carry more things. Yeah. You can carry more things. Just go laugh louder. Sorry. You guys are so serious. I'm just tired of loads. Unencumbered, unharmed, unharmed. Unencumbered, unharmed. Unencumbered, unharmed. Unencumbered, unharmed. Unencumbered, unharmed. Unencumbered, unharmed. Which I already have. And the armor thing, I would have the other armor thing. Yep. That's true. The upper hand. Yeah.

Strong arm is a lot of the stuff that you have as a barbarian. Interrogator, my love for you is like a truck, Samson. Nah. Yeah. This is what I already have. So I would keep the ones that I want anyway. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go with impervious and bard and keep some of the barbarian stuff. Yeah. Okay. So actually how that, is if you just choose two playbooks, you get an advanced move from one of them. Oh, cool. Yeah. So you can choose two and then just get an advanced move. Sick.

So you keep some of your barbarian stuff. Like everybody, you'll go through and choose the things that are integral and then you'll just get an extra move. Barbarian. Impervious. Yeah, impervious and bard. Imperve. Nice. You can just write perv. I'm perv. I'm perv. I am perv. How many more loads do you get with that? Yeah. I'm so glad that we don't worry about encumbrance so we never have to talk about how heavy things are. All right. Cool. So we know the things. Yeah.

Except that you get an advanced move from either bard or impervious. Sick. Yeah. All right. Let's start with bard. Well, we'll start with which barbarian ones you're keeping. Oh, yeah. Good call. Yeah. Um, so Herculean Appetites came in handy last time. Game. I think Tuck is like kind of the same guy in that regard where he's like really likes his friends. But it was kind of boring to like win everything. Yeah. I mean, like if you keep Herculean Appetites, it's always going to be a thing. Yeah.

When you're doing those roles. I don't think it's core to who he is. Yeah. I would agree. Especially since he resolved the revenge. When I would also agree considering you used it once. Yeah. Like used it in one episode of three years. Yeah. True. So yeah, I'd say you could get rid of that. I am going to keep unencumbered unharmed. Yep. Yeah. It's pretty key to Tuck that he doesn't wear armor. Muscle bounding to get rid of because I've never used it. What are you waiting for?

That is Tuck to a T, motherfuckers. You've been it's worked once, but it is a thing that you constantly try. Extremely important. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Now advanced moves. There's so many still hungry. Never used it. Appetite for destruction. Don't even know what it does. It was the reason that you had barred moves. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah. All right. It goes to 11 where I sing. That was your like destructive noise attack thing. Wide wanderer.

I've tried to use it so many times in unapplicable situation. I'm not going to take one. I'm going to go with the wide wander. Okay. War cry is very important. Yeah, totally. Mark of might when you take this move and spend some uninterrupted time. Literally never used it. Yeah. Healthy distrust. I'm going to keep that one. Yeah. Healthy distrust and blood for the blood God makes sense. Yeah. Okay. So barred. So starting moves. Bardic lore. Choose an area of expertise. Beast years. Of creatures.

Unusual. The dead and undead gods and their servants. Grand histories of the known world. Gods of their servants. So far my topic. Yeah. For tech. Okay. Um, great histories of the known world. Legends of heroes past. Oh, yeah. Guitar heroes of legends. Past. Oh, man. That's so fucking funny. If you change it to guitar. Yeah, I'm going to change it. Yeah. The pointers, fears or spells and magic.

When you first encounter an important creature, location or item, your call covered by your bardic lore, you can ask the GM any one question about it and the GM will answer truthfully. The GM may then ask what legend song or tail you heard that information in. Yeah. What a pretty fun move. This will be. Yeah, it is a fun move. Keep in mind your area of expertise is specific. It's not broad. So if it's like, if it is legends of guitar heroes past. Yeah.

I'm going to ask you questions about legends of heroes past. Nothing else. So what is that? It would be like, ooh, this, it said that this loot belonged to this great bard. And you can ask me a question about that part. So if I asked a question that was like, hey, the torch of McCall, that's a hero. Yeah, totally. Totally. I know the history of the heroes. Yeah. Like maybe he took had like trading cards when he was a kid where he was like, this is Omar the unbent. And he sleeps on rocks.

He sleeps on rocks. And he's like, I'm going to take a terrible back. Yeah. Okay. So then the history is the great histories of the known world is like historical events. Okay. But you have that history specialty already, right? Yeah. With a scholar, the sage, I mean, yeah. So maybe that's not as useful since you know about history. So I'll take that out dead and undead. No bestiary of creatures. Unusual tuck hates nature.

I think we all know we don't know that doc does so either gods and their servants or legends of heroes past.

Past what about what about this planar spheres or spells and magics oh I already crossed those out okay because it's do you feel like tuck notes about this I mean you have said a lot of stuff about the outer dark about um I mean I guess mostly the outer dark is what I'm thinking about spells and magics like he wouldn't know off the top of his head cool things about wizards he wouldn't know cool things about demons and other dimensions I think it just doesn't make sense for tuck totally I'm I'm just letting you know what those are and I could still try and do it with spell laws right absolutely yeah um but yeah do you guys agree that tuck wouldn't know those things yeah yeah so he would know about heroes because he was like totally a little boy that was like and this is my like voltron action figure yeah you would know the important people from from mccall's history yeah yeah and then gods and their servants would that be like could I talk about like icons and stuff and demons or would it just be like the god of the flame that's the only god what about patrons yeah yeah probably probably I mean it would be religions okay religions and important religious figures I guess I guess that could come in handy with like all the light guard stuff one of the advanced moves is you get another area of expertise so then maybe I'll start with legends of heroes past because it's like that stuff that tuck already knows about and then as we spend time in mccall maybe he learns more about gods and their servants yeah that's cool yeah you only get one yeah you just get one legends of heroes past bardic lore uh abdul just stuck his fist in the air like a freeze frame in a children's cartoon bardic lore um and I get to take one advanced move uh no sorry the other move you get access to is on the next page it's a port in the storm when you return to a civilized settlement settlement you visited before tell the gm when you were last here and I'll tell you how it's changed since then and we were going to do this when there's like areas of the city or even bars because it's like this is like tuck's homecoming right yeah we're going to do this one totally he's like oh yeah I've been to that bar I puked behind that bar exactly yeah very bar related yeah and then yeah you get one advanced move from either impervious or bard okay impervious bard and I picked a third one didn't I no you just chose you just went with barbarian right um so the advanced moves here are when you parlay with someone on a hit you take plus one forward with them kind of boring um choose a second area of expertise I could choose that right now if I wanted uh fount of knowledge when you Spout Lore about something no one else has any clue about take plus one knowledge already excludes tuck from that one a little help you don't want to be even slightly better at Spout Lore nah fine by me fine by me uh a little help for my friends when you successfully aid someone which we do all the time take a plus one forward as well yep you get a plus one forward to your next move well you remember that though that's the only thing oh yeah up to abdul bad memories yeah so I will take bardic lore bardic expert okay and I'll take the um gods and their servants cool cool uh that really doubles down on the torch of mccall well and the light guard yeah yeah totally cool I guess so yeah you know stuff about the god of the flame and you can ask me about specific things yeah fucking shit and I don't need Spout Lore anymore except well I mean you kind of do but it's fine you mean the podcast I have gotten too big for this podcast I'm gonna call it start my own podcast called abdul celery corner that would uh knowingly do very well it really would yeah so something to keep in mind again is that when it's when you first encounter an important creature location so like you would get one question about the torch of mccall you would get one question about the lighthouse okay you wouldn't get to keep asking them over and over okay that's fine uh and then let's go to impervious so starting moves unbent unbound unbroken when you prepare yourself to endure some hardship without fighting back uh roll plus constitution on a hit you either take half damage or you completely ignore one other I'll effect what is one other I'll effect um they're going to smash your guitar they're gonna do other shit okay poison you you know something like that and then there's that's the only move okay cool unbent unbound unbroken cool and then we gotta then the last thing we gotta do is your alignment and your race thing I want to keep it chaotic yep but do you want to keep it issue a convention of the civilized world or do you want a new one yeah okay um what about your racial thing um yeah I had wide wanderer before right or outsider outsider yeah um should we do one that's just like the opposite where it's like insider and I tell you a thing about the city that we're in I mean that's the same move yeah it's not different at all no it's a different name yeah okay because it also makes sense like you know as a bard now that he would be able to tell us all these things I'm not disagreeing with you guys I'm just saying that you have the option to change it just calm down sean let's is there anything that tuck does consistently that he's like I want to do this well let me tell you the two ones in it well let me tell you the ones for bard and impervious okay um um um bard is when you first enter a civilized settlement someone who respects the customs of hospitality to bards will take you in as their guest and impervious is that one kind of makes sense because you're coming home I know but it's not really your home anyways I mean you've never felt like a hometown boy yeah no one would take tuck in and be like you yeah they'd be like oh you it's back you're back I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna tell you all the ones for impervious that I think that makes sense even if they're not just human but for human it's when you suffer a debility take plus one forward to do anything other than fight back the halfling one I think also makes sense it takes only two days for you to recover from a debility or one if you're attended by a healer and the dwarf one which I also think makes sense is when you defend you cannot be moved if your feet are planted firmly upon the ground now I'm gonna stick with what I have okay yeah so I'm gonna call it the insider move though so that's like once per session you ask me a question about McCall again yeah okay cool yeah I like it and my alignment is still chaotic issue a convention of the civilized world so we're done character creation cool yeah we did it everybody our season seven characters have been created tuck has a gun now I just wanted you guys to put your gun away and where'd you get that thing I was tuck he got it when he got to McCall and he was playing with it and he fired it one time and it exploded in his hand and he has no hands his outsider move change he doesn't get experience anymore got a piece of metal lodged in his brain and he's dumber now dumber how even dumb in different ways okay cool character creation dunzo see you in season seven friends and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and free yourself from the şu and gladly

Let's listen to the theme music. Theme music. Brand new theme song for a brand new season. Ready? Here it is. Three, two, one. Welcome to McCall. We're gonna have a ball. I'm not so good at songs, but welcome. Welcome to McCall. Pretty good. I love that you said you're not good at songs right after you just rhymed. You just badass rhymed a song. I'm not so good at songs, but hey, welcome to McCall. Boom, boom, boom. That's the McCall national anthem.

Yeah, Jessica's doing a dance move that is like, you see it in like 80s music videos that happen in malls. Which was what one? Boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom. Crust it. A bunch of other stuff. McCall. Most of the McCall national anthem is visual. It's pretty confusing for people. Because the dwarves are very like… Yeah. They're very… They're kind of… You know how bumblebees communicate through dance? Dwarves do. Oh. I like that they have a lot of big dance nights, though. Oh, yeah.

That's where things go. Yeah. We work hard. We play hard. Yeah, exactly. We got blood feet tonight. Yeah! Oh. Gather round, friends. Let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief. Who is but nine years old. You know them by name. You know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute. He knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight.

Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief. His tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest, they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smartness. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. There were dice in that as well. Wow. What a way to start. Good day. Good day. Good eye. Good eye, everyone. Season seven. We're all Australian now. We're losing our minds. Welcome to Spellt Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma in the Dome. The Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes. The season ended on a pretty tense note.

You arrived at the eye of the storm, which you discovered to be both a confluence of spiritual and thalmic energy, as well as the tomb of the moon goddess, Lillian, wife of Chimes, the patron of sailors. Perel was pressed to leave the island, but he was able to get out of it. He was able to get out of it, but he was also forced to leave the island. He was forced to leave the island, but he was also forced to leave the island.

He was forced to leave the island, but he was also forced to leave the island. You arrived at the eye of the storm, which you discovered to be both a confluence of spiritual and thalmic energy, as well as the tomb of the moon goddess, Lillian, wife of Chimes, the patron of sailors. Perel was present under the influence of the water monster, whose name we never had a chance to introduce. But it's not Pissmonster. No, it's not.

I was actually going to write a tweet that was like, sometimes I think about how I came up with a villain that was the disembodied ambition of a water monster.

Of a wizard that lives inside magically charged water that it uses to possess and destroy people and a throwaway joke had it named the piss monster for three years isn't it named pilar it is named pilar thank you jessica because that is a name I accidentally originally named perel before switching to perel for some reason I think we just forgot and then we had to think of it again we were like it was like perel the hand sanitizer right yeah but yeah so the water monster was had called itself perel that was the name that it gave itself uh I mean pilar see this is how it happened the first time it's fine it's more of an evil sounding name than perel yeah it sounds a lot nicer than pilar pilar's like saruman yeah yeah totally where a sauron is like really nice sounding gandalf we all know we've all read the lord all been yeah the lord of the rings trilogy we know it there's the for the the friendship of the ring the twin towers you and then return of the mac that's it okay at the tower the tomb of lillian we discovered that the water monster was possessing perel's body in an attempt to release lillian for some dark purpose but because of the things that we introduced and things I didn't consider while we were introducing them the water monster was unsuccessful because it was near impossible to get rid of the water monster and because of the fact that the woman possessed a woman possessed a woman possessed a woman this water and oil thing that made it almost impossible for them to do what they needed to do just like how pearl couldn't cast spells in spirit world exactly ving uh shape-shifted into a thunderbird to talk to the king of the thunderbirds ship breaker into helping them defeat whatever was going on which ended up kind of successful but kind of not in that ship breaker decided to destroy the top of the pillar while also going out to destroy many more places in the world which we haven't found out about yet yeah there's probably stories coming in from sailors that are like it is really bad out there right now who did that who did that there was um a town here I think it's not there anymore it's just glass now where are the people billy in such close contact to spiritual energy started taking on his fairy form and began to forget his life as billy and ving and billy had a really nice kind of spiritual buddy cop scenario they were working on where they yeah ving shape-shifted into the storm right into lightning into lightning a pure bolt of magic lightning which billy then used he guided with like this spiritual core of the axe yeah the axe good yeah I conducted with the axe and then I I was a a a a a a a a a a a Bring it to Tuck.

You destroyed the Bullywugs with it. I remember that. You destroyed all the Bullywugs that Pilar had brought with him. Tuck threw down with the water wizard, who without access to the magics that he was used to, was just transmuting the air into harder air, basically making a hammer out of wind.

While Ving and Billy found the spirit of Perel pushed out of the water monster's body, well, his own body by the water monster, and helped him get back into the body after Tuck finally once and for all severed the connection the water monster had to Perel's body. Yeah, it killed him. And I said that prayer at the end. Right, invoked the killer. The patron of killers. Because it was an execution. Yeah. Because Tuck doesn't usually kill people.

Yeah, Tuck is more like, I'm fighting to defend someone, or I'm fighting because I'm mad. I want to break something, not kill somebody. Yeah. But this force had to leave the world. Yeah. And then after that we went outside and the storm had stopped. At least. And we debated. And you'd seen, you saw the coronet ringing the last remaining moon of the planet. And that is where we ended.

And since then, it has been four months, and you three, for the last season, have been living in the ancient city of McCall. We have arrived in Tuck's homeland. You guys get to see all the bars I got kicked out of as a kid. Abdul will show you the map of McCall that he came up with. Yeah. And we'll broadly talk about the neighborhoods so we have a rough idea of where things are. All right. So the city is broken up into two above-ground regions.

There's the upper ward, which is where the old city used to be. So this is the old dock city. And then down below, there's the lower ward. And that's where all the rich people live because it's closest to the water.

And also, the rich in McCall, we were thinking, would be kind of like the religious right in America, where it's like they're also living down there because they're like, we live close to the god of the flame who's rumored to live in the middle of the broken shores, which is the salt flats. So there are two broad regions of the upper ward. There's cliffside because it's like where the bay used to be and then it drops down underneath.

And like right on the edge of cliffside, there's a neighborhood called the stilts because the cliff is eroding. So all of the roads are wooden and all the houses are on stilts to keep them from falling down. And every few years, there's like a collapse basically. That's why. Like all the poor people live there. And then as you get further out closer to the desert, you get kind of nicer and nicer. This is like sort of the suburbs out here.

And this is called Stepside, like the kind of more suburban neighborhood. So there's cliffside and Stepside and there's the upper ward and the lower ward. And then there's where the dwarves live, which is what we established with Brent, which is underground. And that's the deep ward. So there's three major parts of the city. But I bet there are stairs down to the lower ward.

But when you get down to the lower ward, the light guards, like if you're from the upper ward, they're like, what are you doing here? What the fuck are you doing? They just follow you around. You're not really welcome there if you're from cliffside. Is there anything else important? What else? So the reason McCall exists in the first place is that the lighthouse and the steps that give Stepside the name were built by like an empire of giants that have long since disappeared.

And those are the giants that orcs believe that they're descended from. Like the orc culture is the god of the flame went to war with these giants, defeated them, and were what's left. Yeah. And that's why the tallow road is so wide. It's like a really wide road because it was originally built by the giants. And that's why the city, the lighthouse is much bigger than it should be. Way too big. And it actually goes down to the bottom of the bay. It's the only stable part of cliffside. Yeah. Okay.

So a lot of people build onto it. It's built out of the cliffside? Oh, maybe. Like it's the same stone. As the cliffside? Maybe. Yeah. It could be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the tallow road is named after… Oh, I had no idea. I had an idea for this, actually. I had an idea, too. Okay. Well, you tell me your idea. No, I want to hear both. Was it about candles? Yeah. Yeah, because that was my idea, too. And they brought it in from the port because that's where they would have harvested the…

Oh, my… The giants would have harvested the fat from the giant sea serpents and then brought it in. Oh, yeah. And so the tallow road is named for the fact that it brought candles into the city. Oh. That's so sick. And the horse… And for lamp oil. And candles would be so important in McCall because of all the underground… Yeah. Yeah. And the god of the flame. So there's a religious element to how much they like candles.

Culturally, the dwarves in the Deep Ward are much different than the people up top because they're all basically socialists. They're very pro-union. They think that labor should be protected, workers should be protected, and they care for their community. Like, the people that can work provide for the people that can't work. Everybody's taken care of. Because, actually, Jessica and I were talking about this.

They would consider the craftsmanship put into their society the same as the craftsmanship they put into their work. Yeah. So, like, having a sturdy, well-made society is just… Just as important to them as, like, making good things. Are the dwarves the keepers of the great gravy as well? Of the great gravy? Maybe, because, I mean, like, they take care of the poor as well. And I actually imagine that the poor from up top can come down and, like, get food.

Maybe there's, like, gravy houses where it's just they have really high-quality food they're always making. I wonder how many of those Billy's been banned from so far. Look, we take care of everybody, but there's a line. Come on. You gotta stop. There's a little statue that they pass around that, like, do not let this boy in. Do not, sir. Yeah, and then I'm, like, coming in with all my disguises and they're like, Billy, you gotta stop.

Like, they're really nice to me, but they're like, this is for people who need it. I'm like, but you don't get it. I need it, too. Yeah, they call him Billy the Bottomless Pit. There's a little statue that they pass around to show Billy which one he's allowed to go to. They go, oh, there it is. There's, like, a rumor where they're, like, when they're talking about it, they're like, I heard he out-ate a bear at the Bear in the Chair. It was fucked. The bear got depressed and also got diabetes.

He kind of indirectly killed it when you think about it. Yeah, so that's the basics of McCall. So you've been living here for a few months. Where do you live in McCall? What neighborhood? It's a middle-class neighborhood. But it's on the edge of the stilts. Yeah. Or what the folks call the sticks. So you still live in the Cliffside neighborhood. Which is the poorer area of McCall's upper ward. We're going to post a whole map and explanation of the city of McCall.

But not in the absolute worst part of the city. No. No. No, yeah. Kind of like a sort of a trendy up-and-coming area that used to be pretty rough. Yeah. It's not fully gentrified, but it's still cool. A lot of artists in this part of town. So, like, the Chinatown of McCall? Yeah. But rich people are starting to move in. Yeah, kind of. But you can still kind of find, like, a lot of people who are like, nice apartments if you really dig deep. Yeah. Yeah.

And you are living in a two-bedroom apartment. Like, you know, a pretty regular stone, sandstone building, like the most places in McCall are made out of. You have a roommate. His name is… Oh, my God. Isn't it Plates? No. Casual Plates. Casual Plates. Yes. I hate this name so much. Okay, well, you wanted us to have a roommate and we want to name him Casual Plates. Yeah. So… And we call him Cash. Okay, Cash I'm fine with. Okay. Cash is a name. Maybe his middle name's Ool. Like, man, you will.

Cash Ool. Yeah, Cash Al. Al. Al because it's, like, Arabic. You know… Cash Al. Yeah. Plates. Cash Al Plates. All right, you know what? Casual Plates. We figured it out. That's a name. Casual Plates. I hated it. Cash Al Plates. I can make work. Okay. We've been harassing. We've been trying to show it on Discord for five months to name a character Casual Plates. I'm so relieved right now that we made it a real name. What was the steakhouse you drove by? It was, like, something… Big Mr. Mike's.

Wasn't it, like, Original Joe's? It was, like, an Original Joe's menu? It was Mr. Mike's. Mr. Mike's Steakhouse. Oh, Casual Steakhouse. Casual. That's the thing that didn't make any sense. It was Mr. Mike's Casual Steakhouse. Yeah. It was just like, why is that adjective in the name of this restaurant? Makes me want to eat their lunch. Less. Okay. So you live in a three-bedroom apartment with cash. Three. Two. Well, I mean, I assume… No. I assume…

We all share one room and Cash has one room to himself. All right. We have the small room, too. It's cheaper that way. Because we're paying the small portion of the rent. Yeah. We split rent two ways, Billy. You can live for free. But you know what? Thankfully, it is top floor. There's only two floors, but you're in the top floor. That's not bad. So that's nice. You kind of have a roof that I imagine Ving makes pretty good use of meditative-wise. And Cash, Cash is a totally normal guy.

And you guys have had a real problem with that. Because you're like weird, adventuring, creeps, freaks. And he like works for the city. He's just like a clerk. He does paperwork. To put it not too fine a point on it, he hates you guys. Whose name is on the lease? It's Cash. It's Cash's place. And the kind of thing that's like, oh man, he's a nice enough guy, but like his parents did buy this place for him. Oh, he… Owns it. He owns it. Holy shit. He owns his apartment.

It's not really nice, but his parents did pay for it. And he kind of acts like a dink about it sometimes. But he does need the money because he doesn't get paid very much. And also because he had a girlfriend, but she dumped him a few months ago. And he need a roommate. So his girlfriend lived in the other room? No, they… It was their office. It was her crafting room. Yeah. They're doing work from home stuff. She did pottery. She had a pottery studio and he honestly loved…

They spent too much time in his apartment. If she had… If she had an office or a pottery barn off site, that would have been way better for the relationship. So he's sad and mad. And he works from the city and he comes home and like Billy has like, you know, done whatever Billy does in a one… In a living room. Yeah, cleaned out his side of the fridge. Yeah. Ving has like weird plants in jars all over the place. Tuck is just mostly nude all the time. I put the flap back down.

I was airing it out, man. God. You were… You expected to live in… In this… The confines of this flap all the time? In a common space like the living room? Yes. I do. Put it away. Flip. But something I want to know is what each of you have been up to since you've been in McCall for the last like three, four months. Start with Tuck. I'm working as a bouncer at a punk bar. What's the bar called? It's called Barbarian. Yep. That's what it is. The bar? It was the first one to come up with that.

I didn't… Oh. Maybe it's just called The Bar. Yeah. And people that like that kind of music are called Barbarians because all those shows took place at The Bar. Yeah. And it's a really old… Like, it's like, you know when you go to Germany and there's like punk bars that used to be like churches? Yeah. It's just like 400 years old. All the other buildings are built above ground but this one's carved out of the floor. Yeah. Out of the ground.

And it's actually a huge place because it's from when the city was a giant city. Oh, I bet one of the walls is like one of the foundational walls of the Tallow Road. Oh, yeah. Totally. Which is that main road that goes from McCall and connects it to the ocean. Yeah. It connects to the current bay. Yeah. That's awesome. So one of the walls is just underground is just ancient bricks. Yeah. Huge. Yeah, giant stones. Fucking massive, giant like flagstones. Cool.

And it's like, I don't know if you've ever been in the Biltmore. It's kind of like that vibe where it's like low ceiling, goes really far in. Yeah. Cool. That's really cool. Yeah. I get paid an hourly, but I do get dental. Nice. That's strange for a bar. I know. Yeah. But I guess they just have a good dental plan. Well, I guess we have talked about how McCall is very unionized. It's super socialist. So even if you are contract work, you can get good benefits. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. That's great.

That's how fucked up our actual world is, is that we put benefits into the setting of our fantasy world. And we're all like, wow, wow. This is a really cool thing. Even if you have kind of like a weird part time job, you're not at constant danger of becoming homeless, becoming broke or dead. Yeah. Cool. And during the night, he just like watch a show. I guess he probably works at night. Yeah. He works mostly at night. Yeah. He's just at the door most of the time. Yeah.

He watches shows for bands that he likes. Cool. He'll like duck in and he'll put a trench coat around a rock. He'll put it there. Honestly, it's fine. Nobody tries to start shit. If anybody does try to start shit in a bar like this, they quickly regret it. Bar is kind of like a sort of safe zone between different, like it's like dwarves that go there, orcs go there, humans go there. Even people who live down in the rich neighborhood in the lower ward are like allowed to go there.

And it's like, you don't fuck with people at bar. Yeah. Yeah. Sick. What's my boss's name? Something with a G. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. The orc. What can be Greg? Greg. Greg. Greg. The orc. Okay. Yeah. He's missing a tusk. Yeah. Cool. He's just got the one tusk, but it's like carved. It's a very elaborately carved tusk. Nice. Yeah. He's like older. He's like an old punk, basically. He's like in his 50s. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Grizzled. Huge holes in his ears. Whoa. Yeah. He doesn't wear those things anymore, but his earlobes just droop a lot. Sick. Yeah. Cool. What's Vang been up to? He does outreach with the dwarves. Yeah? Yeah. Cool. What does that look like? He works night shifts. Dwarves are all underground and they're very socialist and they take care of their own and they kind of take care of other people too than poor, but they are mostly underground is what we talked about. Yeah.

They live in the neighborhood called the Deep Ward. Yeah. So he's kind of like a go between the Deep Ward and some of the Upper Wards. Oh, I see. You do outreach to people like the people who need it in the Upper Ward. Yeah, in the sticks. Yeah. Cool. And you and I were talking about it. Vang's had a pretty rough time after the Eye of the Storm and since coming to McCall. Yeah? Oh, yeah. Totally. Yeah. Totally. So let's talk about that a little bit. Oh, God. Okay. What do you want to know?

Well, I mean, I think the biggest thing… No more shape-shifting. Vang cannot shape-shift anymore. He broke his shape-shift. So what has led to Vang not having access to shape-shifting anymore? Well, in order, in order to become the elementalist, he has sacrificed his ability to shape-shift and to take on the forms. Also, he's a vegetarian. He went that too. He's doing that. He's just kind of like, I can't take advantage of other beings.

It's like, he was concentrating on the lower levels of spirituality. The things, the creatures that walk on the earth and spending his time with that and feeling bad about that and now seeing that he was taking advantage of that, he has given up that level that walks on the earth and is into the broader spirituality with the spirit of fire, the spirit of air, the spirit of water. Awesome. Sick.

Yeah, and also he had a real hard time with it because his mom, right, she's a human druid and he felt like he was giving up on that but he also had to let go of that part of his past too. Yeah, that's a huge sacrifice. Wow. Okay. Cool. Yeah, that's really cool. And he's also been studying martial arts which he calls Vinci. Yeah.

And he's been coming up with his own thing and he always, he has a set workout schedule and he always makes sure he goes to that at six o'clock in the morning after he's done his shift doing outreach. So, Vin's just shredded now. Yeah, he's getting pretty shredded. At least after like three months of working out. Sinu shredded. Yeah. Yeah, like dried steak. Just up on the roof like stripped to the waist doing martial arts forms. Yeah. Yeah. You can see his eight pack from the street.

I mean, it's only two floors. It's not that impressive, but. It's pretty impressive. Still cool. Still pretty cool. I feel like Vin is like, when he showed up, he's like that mysterious stranger and all the women were like, ooh. And then now, everyone's just like, holy fuck, that guy's so hot. And a little weird. Very strange. Moss arm. Yeah. Gills. Some kind of monster man. Yeah, so he's really holding his own form wise. Oh. Pretty sweet.

And we're going to release a character creation episode that explains all of the new class changes. So everybody's on the same page because everybody is a completely different class now. So what's Billy been up to in his time in McCall? He goes out at night after Tuck and Ving thinks he's gone to bed. So they tuck him in like a night. He plays like a night, but he goes out and he goes underground to play with like the other thieves in the city, like kid thieves. Cool.

There's a lot of like orphans who like have had to band together. So he'll like play with them or help them out. Sometimes. And it's also like nice and cool underground and he gets to adventure. And then in the daytime, he comes back. He follows Ving back home, but Ving doesn't know. And when Ving goes upstairs on the roof to do his exercise, Billy goes in the fridge, like the icebox and goes to sleep. In the icebox. That's great.

I was going to say that Cash probably doesn't mind living with you all actually because you're gone during the night. But he would probably mind finding Billy in the icebox every morning. But I tell him, I'm like, look, I'm really fat and I don't do well in this heat. And look at my rosacea. It's just so bad. It's the only place I can be comfortable. That's so cute. I love it. Can you give me a name of like one of the orphan thieves that Billy hangs out with? Sure. His name is Kevin. Okay.

Kevin the thief. Oh my God. We're back. We're back, baby. Season seven. There's another thief. A thief named Bethany that I also play with and they're brother and sister and they're about my age, like human life. Billy's still a million years old. What do we do? Well, at first, Billy just like was hanging out mostly for like the fresh air and then like came across these like ragamuffins who they're like, are you another one of us? Like, are you a new one?

And I'm like, yeah, because I didn't know what they're asking. I like that ragamuffin is shorthanded. For like street child. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, I'm also a ragamuffin and they're like, where are your parents? I'm like, I don't know. And they're like, nice. You're in. Yeah. Story checks out. And that was truthful because Billy actually didn't know where we were at that exact moment. Exactly. Yeah. I don't know. Work. Yeah.

So we mostly spend our time like stealing food or clothes and stuff like that. Rooting through like dumpsters, figuring out which ones are our favorite. Yeah. We also play games like we dare each other to go to the water tower to get like the cleanest water from the rich people zone. Nice. Billy's really good at it. Pretty good. Yeah. That's cool. Such a sick kid dare. Yeah.

And then Billy also sometimes teaches them like some tips and tricks, but they can't do it really well because Billy realized that it's like his fairiness. So he uses his binocs to help them. Stuff like that. Oh, and I like that the other kids have taken to doing that. Yeah. Because like it works for Billy. So like, yeah, it works for me too. Yeah. Yeah. That's so cool. Have you guys come across any Afrit? Oh, what do Afrit look like again? They're like. Little shadow demons. Yeah.

They're like made of like shadow and night and they're demons of malice that come out and hunt the urchin kids at night. Yeah. Yeah. Billy sees them all the time. Really? Yeah. Do you see them when other people don't? Yeah. Whoa. Cool. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. Maybe connected to some changes that Billy's undergone lately. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Which we will elaborate in the season seven character creation episode. That's so sick. That's really cool. Have you had to fight any of them?

I never have to fight them. Because you just avoid them. No. Oh. Whoa. They avoid you. Whoa. They avoid Bill. Holy shit. Fuck. That's so sick. That's exciting. That's also sick for like Tuck if he knew it. He doesn't know. But if he did because when he was an urchin he was like. Terrified. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of still is. Billy just talks to the Afrit. Whoa. Whoa. Fuck. Guys. I'm so excited for season seven. I'm so excited too. I'm so excited. So excited. Cool. Okay. Yeah.

So that would be actually so Billy's out and sees Afrit and stuff like that. So something that you would all have realized at this point after living here for a few months is the light guard in McCall are much more prevalent. They're basically the police force of McCall. I think the torches light guard are like an elite force. Basically. They probably have some stupid name like the immolators or something like that. Such fucking deep shit. Yeah.

So yeah, they're basically the FBI to the regular light guards beat cops. Do they have powers? Who can say? Fuck. Not as much as the torch in McCall. The torch in McCall is well known for being like able to command fire, which is insane to people. I want to know how we got from like who picked us up. How do we got here? I guess. Oh, I think Chimes probably Chimes took us all the way. It's like, just come Chives. I don't want to ignore that. I'm Chives. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Yes. Yes.

So I don't think you necessarily went to McCall right away. No, but something that you learned after you defeated Pilar at the eye of the storm is it was a couple weeks. Everything was fine. At first, Perel started acting really sullen and weird and it seemed like he was hiding something and then he came to you thing one night and he explained that he is unable to perform magic. Now. Whoa.

He doesn't know why, but, but he thinks that during the fight, something in him was severed and he can't cast spells anymore. Oh, and he, he's scared and he thinks that if there was a place where he would be able to find out what's wrong with him and what he can do about it, it would be the Margani library. Oh, that makes so much more sense. Great. Great. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So that's why we're here then. Yes. Okay. I guess you guys agreed.

You're like, yeah, dude, we'll help you. Yeah. We don't give a shit about anything. I mean, if there is one precedent in this group, it's that you care about your friends more than the world. And of course, our $5 a day per diem. So you owe us $5 a day to take you to fucking McCall, man. Also the endless gravy that you two promised me. So yeah, we need that five coin a day so we can buy that fucking gravy for Billy. Yeah. Is that a cool hook? Yeah. Yeah.

Perel is magic list and he wants to get into the library. Actually, I thought like I'd forgotten until now, but I was in my head a while ago. I was like, oh, we're going for the library. Well, what I was going to say is that the reason that you're still here is that Perel has been unable to gain access to the library and he's trying really hard, but it's like every day he doesn't live with you guys. I don't think. Where does he live? He probably has his own place with what money?

I mean, like he's not going to live in the same room as all of you. That's not going to happen. Maybe he came to look at the rental. He's like, guys, I thought this was two bedrooms and we're like, yeah, but like cash lives in the other one. He's like, I'm going to get my own place. Yeah. All three of you are living in this room. Yes, you can have your own place with us in this room. Yeah, there's four corners. Yeah, I mean, four of us, there's four of us in four corners.

Let me look something up. That's such a funny kid thing. Something to consider is being adventurers who have traveled the worldwide. You have a shit ton of money. You have more money than some people will ever see in their lives. I think we don't. We haven't clued into the fact that we're rich though. No, but what I'm saying is that you have a decent amount of money. So, Perel, Perel is probably like, can I have a little bit of that money? You're going to buy stupid fucking clothes with it.

No way. You know, he just, I'm saying that he probably has like a quote unquote studio apartment really close by. Oh, cool. Yeah. Yeah. So, it's maybe like even in the same block of buildings. I can imagine him being like, all right, guys, I finished decorating the place. Come take a look. And he just has his old robe pinned to the wall and he's like, what do you think? Hand drawn pictures of frogs everywhere. Don't look at those.

But he also has a gallery of hats and we were like, you used some of the money for hats? Well, I was lucky enough to find a cheap apartment. What? Do I not get a per diem? Yeah. So, Perel lives nearby. He's been trying to get into the library. They're very secretive, very insular. Why? Well, how does he try? I think he's trying to join. Like, he's trying to become a librarian. You have to become a librarian to get into the library.

I think they have a public section, which is like books on botany, books on how to brew beer. Golf digest. We did go one time and there was like a whole row of shelves that were golf digest and then also another row of shelves that were love and lust. And like a whole section of mud affairs that you can't rifle through them because of their porn. I challenge the three of you to come up with another book. Okay. Okay. There is not an entire shelf of love and lust.

One, because that's one title from one book. Golf affairs. Mud weekly. Love and mud. Mud digest. You guys. The farm, the summer, and the beat. There we go. It's a children's book. Yeah. Oh, fun. Yeah. That's cute. Yeah. Halfling wrote it. Billy likes the children's books. He can't read them, but he likes looking at them. It's a pop-up. Yeah. So there's like a public section of the Morgani library that's very sanitized. There's no controversial information. There's no super complicated texts.

And Perel's like, I gotta get into that restricted stuff. I have to. There's tension between the light guard and the librarians, right? Yeah. The light guard under the command of the torch of McCall, which is a surprisingly long time, is much more militant in their hatred of demons as they've been in the past because McCall was a pretty cosmopolitan place for a long time. And there just were demons in the city. And it sucks. Like if we were a problem, absolutely. They killed people.

But like, you know, you could just have a demon of music who lives like down the street and he's totally fine. He's a music teacher, actually. Yeah, exactly. Everybody loves him. He's a facet of the community. But over the last 40, 50 years, it's become like demons are a threat to your safety. They've been demonized. Exactly. Yeah. They're a threat to this city. There's see something, say something posters around. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Block watch. Totally.

People report on their neighbors and they're like, they're a demon for sure. And I bet the library, like what they have available for the public is so sanitized because they are trying to avoid tensions with the light guard. Totally. Yeah. Because the light guard is like, you're hiding something like they believe that the librarians are hiding something, whether it's information. There are rumors that it's actual demons.

When the light guard worship the God of Flame in the library is burned down so much. There's tons of tension there. But I'll bet that it was the fucking light guard. Totally. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Totally. Down the library. And actually, there aren't really clear accounts of that last fire, but it said that the death toll on both sides was pretty high. But there hasn't been an assault on the Margani library in a long, long time. So do people, know it was an assault or is it like that might have been?

They say it was an assault, but they don't know. It's not clear who it was. So it was intentional. It wasn't accidental. Yes. Yeah. Because there was like a battle. Oh. And they were like, somebody burned down the library. We don't know who. Whoa. Yeah. And then that's when they moved into the salt mines. Yeah. So that's kind of the current climate in regards to that. Perel has had a lot of trouble over the last few months in his attempts to get restricted information from the library.

What were some of the attempts? What were some of the attempts? A fake mustache. A real mustache. A real mustache. He tried to grow a mustache. Yeah. It was wispy as fuck. We all made fun of him before. Yeah. Too bad you can't transmute that thing into more hair, eh, bud? So like, he's tried to join the librarians before and he's just been like soundly rejected because he's just not tough enough. Well, because the librarians are also the… They're a martial force, basically.

So like, the librarians are pretty intimidating. And the firefighters. They're pretty intimidating in town, aren't they? You said? Yeah, they fight fires. They organize firefighting forces as well. And so Perel is still in the process of trying to figure out. So he's failed the physical test. Yes. He's been working out too. And you won't let him live it down. Does he work out with Ving? Yeah. I think he's been trying. But he's kind of an older guy. He's like having trouble keeping up.

So that's where we are in the current timeline. We open on morning in your apartment. What does your apartment look like? It's like tiled floors and stone, mostly like walls and stuff. I imagine there's like awnings to keep the sun out. Totally. Oh, yeah. Definitely. I imagine the windows were like, you know, those like thick things that just let light in. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like thick glass blocks that you can't see through. But yeah, it's so tacky. Yeah.

But it's like kind of for heat sort of. It like keeps heat out and lets light in. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. And it's just like a morning, I guess, things on the roof exercising with Perel, who's huffing and puffing as he's trying to do pushups. Tuck is home from work. Yeah. He just got home. He's taking his classic long end of work shit and cash is trying to get into take ready for work. Yeah. And I think it is the kind of thing like I think and it's a long shit. Yeah.

He's like knocking on the door both time wise and physically. Yeah. Tacoma Tacoma just chill out for two seconds. I have to be at work in half an hour. Yeah, but I ate so many bergam fruits at work. So I'm busy clogging the toilet right now. I'm busy clogging the toilet. You know, it's going to happen in here. He just keeps rattling the doorknob and then he stomps away to his room. Billy is oh, I've burrito myself some for some reason I sleep in the icebox, but I still use my blue blanket. Yeah.

For comfort. Well, you know, when you have all the windows open on a winter day and you stay under the blankets so cozy. Yeah. So he's laying there on top of the apples and under the under the burritos under the burritos that touch brought home from the bar and under cash is lunchbox. Yeah. And there's Billy's just rustling around in the ice and then all of a sudden light floods the icebox and cash is standing there like good morning cash. Good morning, Billy. I'm just going to grab my lunch.

Of course. Do you want an apple? Just takes it out of your hand. He wipes it on his shirt. I already cleaned it and it's the nicest one. How much did you clean it? Well, I not with my tongue this time. Like you didn't like it when I licked it clean. So I just rubbed it on my blanket and he walks to the kitchen and he turns on the tap and starts washing it. I try so hard and you never like what I do. I just I got to go to work. I don't want to I'm not going to do this right now.

And he walks the door. He walks over and closes the icebox door and then you hear step step step door open slam. He didn't brush his teeth. That's a good point. He didn't have time. He has to walk. He works all the way in Stepside. So he has to like hustle. Oh, no, right. You said we live in Cliffside. I think you're maybe in that zone between Stepside and Cliffside. There's a lot of disagreement where the two neighborhoods start. It's like, oh, no, it's near. It's near this tea shop.

No, because if it's near that tea shop, I live in Cliffside and I do not live in Cliffside. Right. It's like that kind of thing. So we're like in one of the it's I guess Cliffside is sort of encroaching into Stepside with the gentrification that's sort of on the border. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

So he has to walk all the way to the city if he can't catch one of the trams in the underground and oh, yeah, because we talked about in the episode with Brent, there are trams in the Dwarven underground in the deep ward. So I imagine that there are like entry points for the trams above ground so people can take basically subways across the city because it's a very spread out city. It's sort of like underground mine rail cars. Yeah. Is what they used to be.

And then they were repurposed into trams. Yeah. Dwarves love reusing things. So cool. Yeah. They really love repurposing shit. I like them a lot. Yeah, me too. I love that we made a socialist race. Yeah. I wonder why we're so interested in socialism in our fantasy world. Cool. Yeah. So I think Perel is up there working out with you, Ving. And what's Ving's current exercise that he's doing? It's like a breathing exercise based on whatever animal's closest.

So there's a hummingbird that just came and was eating out of this flower nearby. So he's like, what's wrong, Perel? Can't keep up, old man? And he like, he basically just like falls back on his hands, like catches himself. He's just like, you're not going to get in the library like that. No, I'm not. Stop. Can you stop? Please, please, please stop. He does that hands down thing. Press the air out of him. It's useless, Ving. What? I'm not. I'm just not that kind of person.

What kind of person are you? I am a magician who can't wield magic. He takes his glasses off, which he was wearing while he was exercising, which is probably part of his discomfort. And he's like wiping them on a cloth. If they're not going to accept me like that, that's I'm not going to be able to get in. I won't be able to join the librarians. There's got to be another way in, though.

And he kind of his eyes widen and he jumps up to his feet and he runs down the stairs and he runs to the icebox and he opens the icebox and he looks at Billy. Billy. What? Billy. What? I'm sleeping. You want to help me steal something? Yeah. And I think we cut to the three of you crammed on like the living room couch and Perel standing in front of you with his hands clasped in front of him. It's a lazy boy. I'd like to thank you all for joining me. It's a single person. Yeah.

So I guess I'm sitting on the bottom and then being sitting on my lap and then Billy sitting on his. I was thinking Ving was probably sitting on the arm. I'm perched above Tuck's shoulders. My legs are coming over top of my shoulders. I'm sitting with my butt on the back. I actually I grabbed the ice. I grabbed the ice from the fridge and I'm sitting on it. In a bucket? Yeah. Oh, that's good. So that took a lot longer to get you all here than I would have liked.

This orientation was very confusing and it was kind of pointless. But I'd like to thank you all for joining me nonetheless. Thank you for having us. Yeah. Okay, let's just go around the room. I'm Tacoma Dome the Barbarian. I am Ving the Unknown. You're welcome for us being here. You are Perel. Oh my God. I'm not Perel. Maybe I shouldn't do this. Yeah. Why are we doing this? Why are we doing this? Okay. All right. All right. I would like the three of you to help me break into the Margani Library.

Yeah, I could do that. Yeah, I'm down. I'm sure. Yeah, of course. Really? Yeah. Yeah. You're a friend. I thought this was going to be a way harder sell. I'm so fucking bored at work. I honestly haven't done anything cool or interesting for three months. I work at night. I got my days are free, bud. Yeah. And I mean, I've run around stealing things all night. I mean, like what? Billy, what are you talking about? You've been asleep in the box. Yeah. Yeah. I sleep. I sleep all day and all night.

Why are you making the face that you make when you lie? You're a terrible liar. Billy, where have you been? What have you been stealing? I just like I it's too hot. It's too hot in the house. And so I went down underneath. Yeah. You know where it's cold down to the deep ward. Yeah. And I just, you know, and I met some people. What kind of people, Billy? Kevin and Bethany. OK. And some others. And we just like run around. You're hanging out with urchins. Yeah.

Do you know the rules to stay safe from a freight? No. Do you have any saffron? What the fuck? Are you serious? We told you don't leave the house with a saffron. Yes. Sorry. We told you don't leave the house at night because there's a freight on the street. They're fine. No, they're not. I talk to them all the time. What the fuck are you talking about? You can talk to the freight. Yeah. What are they? Say. They don't have much to say. I talk to them. They're really mad though.

And they're really sad. I think they just need someone to listen. Did either of you know about this? No. No. They don't do anything to me. It's fine. Really? Yeah. Perel pulls a notebook out of his pocket and flips it open and write something down and then closes it. Did you just write down Billy speaks to demons? Sure did. OK. I don't think we're going to forget that. But.

And Chuck takes out an extra bag of saffron that he always has with him and he's like Billy I don't care if you can speak to demons you have to take the saffron with me. I just sometimes I just eat it if I get too hungry. I snatch it away from him like this is to this is to carry not to eat. But you know how hard it is for me to not eat what I'm carrying. So I pull I take one of Cash's Costco muffins out of the freezer and I give it to Billy. I'm like here you eat this. Yeah. And you carry this.

Fine. Say it. No. You point at them and say OK muffin. I eat it. Yes. Saffron. Saffron. I don't eat it. Yes. Can I make a thing that it's encased that Billy can't get in. I mean I guess you could try elemental mastery. That's catastrophic. Open up for catastrophic failure. Oh. Thing is much less. He's good at some really specific things but he's much less broadly powerful than he used to be.

He has like a jar with a like a rock lid on it and he's holding it and he's like thinking about it and like make it in unattainable for Billy for Billy for Billy and then he just tightens it really tight as he can. That's what we do is we just like put it in. Fuck what what seals down really hard. Mason jars. Yeah. We put it in a mason jar and then like reefs on it. Can I roll to make it too tight for him to open? No. I'm going to say you can make it too tight for him to open.

We haven't rolled at all yet. Yeah. Let's roll. Whatever. Roll strength. 2d6 plus strength. Six, seven, eight, nine. Great. So now it's not as effective as you wanted it to be. How are you how are you aiding? What do you mean? I'm my thing is always to rub his shoulders. Bing tightened it and then tucked tight. Oh yeah. I tightened it first. That's great. 2d6 plus bond. Yeah. Okay. Great. Seven plus. Success. So now you have a little jar full of saffron that's too tight for Billy to open.

It's a tiny little jar. Yeah. Yeah. We've attached a little string on it so you can wear it. Okay. I put it on. I'm like, I'm sorry, Tuck. I'm sorry, Bing. Don't be. Don't be sorry. You just got to stay safe. You just scared us. That's all. It's not your fault. Okay. I also forgive you, Billy. Okay. You don't live here, Peril. I live like across the street. Yeah. Well, you don't live here. You're not the boss of me. They're the boss of me. Billy, you're the boss of Billy.

Anyways, Billy, you know kids, little kids? I do. And they're thieves like you, ursians? Yep. Billy, do you know how to get into the library? I could ask. Cool. Okay. Can you get a hold of the kids? Yeah, but not until like tonight. They're busy sleeping right now. Where do you meet them? I can't tell you. Cool. No, that's a good secret. You're a good man. So Billy has the saffron. He apparently is impervious to demonic influence.

Do we let him go meet the kids and then get him to report back tomorrow? I mean, yeah, that's I think I'm comfortable. As long as you have saffron. Also, if you see demons and they're coming for you, find streets made out of wood. Head to the stilts. No, it doesn't matter. They don't bother me. If they do, just remember to head to the sticks. Fine. Yes, I head to the sticks. Head to the sticks. Yes. What do you do when you see a demon that's coming for you? I run to the wood, the sticks. Okay.

Thank you, Billy. Get on a wooden road, okay? They can't get, they can't get you if you're on a wooden road. Yes, Tuck. Tuck is actually so scared of a freak. Of course, yeah. Yeah. So we cut to the middle of the night. Billy goes to meet Kevin and Bethany. Are they human children? Yeah. And where does Billy meet them? Billy meets them. The dwarven stuff we haven't really established. Like the underground, it's just, we just know that it's the deep ward and that there's a lot of stuff going on.

Billy goes to a bakery nearby and he's like, and they keep their windows open at night to air it out. And so he crawls into them and into the basement there's a, like a hatch door that opens up to below where like they usually do like a lot of their like deliveries and shipments. Yeah. And he goes in that way and then he meets them like it's about a five minute walk. Well, maybe there's little passages around town where the vents are, where it moves cool air around the city that you need it.

Oh, true. Yeah. That's why you found them maybe in the middle of the night. Initially, because you were hanging out in the vent, which is the coolest part of it. Oh, that's true. Yeah. I'm just, it's just by a vent. Yeah. So you're sitting by a vent and Kevin and Bethany, when you get to the vent, they're already there. Yeah. Can you describe Kevin and Bethany? Yeah. They both have dark brown hair, darker skin. They're pretty skinny and they're about like four feet tall. How old are they?

They're like nine. Okay. Yeah. What do people in McCall wear? I guess a lot of white. They do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like a Calabella. You know, those like long white dresses that dudes wear? Yeah. Yeah. But they're kind of like dirty and tattered. So they're like definitely not white anymore, but it was a white linen shifts. And it's long sleeve to keep the sun off. Yeah. But theirs have been like worn so much that they've just like cut off or torn off the sleeves.

Yeah. And they mostly hang out at night so they don't play with the sun. And then Kevin's got shorts underneath, like basketball shorts. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. It says and one on the side. Yeah. And Bethany wears ballet slippers that she found in the dumpster. Yeah. Also, Kevin's probably doing this classic Middle Eastern boy thing where he's standing in front of a fan and he's got his shirt up. Yeah. And it's blowing up his shirt. It's blowing up his shirt. Yeah.

You can make a wind tunnel with your shirt. It really cools you down. It's like having air conditioning. Yeah. It's the same. Yeah. And Bethany's doing the same thing too. Cause she's like, oh, you're right. That works really well. Yeah. And Billy comes up. He's like, oh, wind tunnel time. And Kevin looks down. He's like, hey, Billy is really, it was really hot today. Oh, it was. I had to stay in the fridge all day. You go, you see, you have a fridge.

I mean, it's not mine, but yeah, I stay in there. That's so cool. Yeah. The guy who has it, he doesn't like me sleeping in it though. Oh, he sounds like a wiener. Yeah. He kind of is a wiener. Yeah. He sounds like a wiener. That was Bethany. Um, I think it's a, oh, they're, maybe they're twins. Yeah. They're like paternal twins, non-identical twins, Irish twins, Irish twins, just born eight, 10 months after the other one. Oh my God. Yes, exactly. Yeah.

So they're just like, what do we want to do today? Actually, I need your help. Well, a person I know needs your help. Oh, okay. So it's business time. Yeah. And he like straightens his, uh, his outfit and leans up against the wall and puts his hand under his chin. What do you need, pal? Do you guys know how to get into the Morgani library? Yeah. And their eyes both widen and Ben Bethany's like, why would you want to go there?

Well, um, a person I know just needs to read some books and they don't have them available like for everyone. So I just need to help him get in. He's a really nice guy. There's nothing like evil about him for sure. I know that. I know it doesn't sound, it doesn't sound like he wouldn't be evil. Cause me and my friends drew the evil out of him and murdered it. We murdered the evil that was inside of him. It did. I don't know. Billy, that's a pretty dangerous place.

I heard that some kids go in there and they never come out. They never come out. They never come out. Do you know anyone who has? Not personally, but we've heard the stories. Who? I can find them. There was this little kid. His name was Wally, you know, with an R. Oh, Rory. Yeah. Wally. Yeah. Okay. And some other, some other, some other kids dared him to go inside the library and apparently there's a place where he lives. I don't know. I don't know.

Apparently there's a place pretty deep under here somewhere that connects to a part of the library that no one has been in a long time. Oh my gosh. Um, do you know how to find Rory? Nobody found Wally. He went into the library and he never came back. No, but I said, do you know anyone who's gotten out? Oh no. Oh. Sorry. I got a little scared. I got a little scared. I'm thinking about the whole library now. It's okay, Kevin. Have you ever seen a librarian? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. There's a big strong. They can read chapter books. I heard one time there's a kids. His dad. I knew and his dad went and tried to street steal a book and the librarian just hit him one time and he fell white down. He was okay. After a couple days, but he pooped in his pants and I don't want a poop in my pants. Oh, we.

He died in his pants yeah that's that like I heard there's a place I guess I don't know who the fuck I'm doing but I heard there's a place that this is a kid this is another kid another kid this is a dwarven kid that was walking by yeah he's like short and squat and he's like I heard there's a place that the librarians know that they can punch you and you shit your pants uh yeah why bay and uh kevin like steps out into the tunnel and he's like why boy wins are so fast in the tough and he's like chopping at the air and he's kicking and they know all these ways of hitting people it's not good oh man I don't really have a choice but we have to get in there maybe we can find some stuff on how you can get in maybe we can find out where that tunnel was okay I don't know and what I'm basically saying is you gotta roll something yeah okay so I'm gonna use um connections great so what is connections read out connections again it's been a while when you put out world to the criminal underbelly about something that you want or need a role plus crime so on a 10 plus someone has it just for you 2d6 plus charisma oh yeah nice 10 jeez yeah okay someone has it just for you so you just like tell kevin and bethany that you need to know where this entrance is yeah yeah okay I think they probably get back to you with somebody that night but you just kind of hang out yeah near that bakery or whatever yeah I'm just like I'm just standing there at the vent with my shirt up yeah eating baklava yeah just stolen yeah when we cut back to it there's like six kids there they're all just with their shirts up it's pretty nice it's so cold down here we have to take turns like penguins because the vent isn't big enough for all of us so cute also I have this clear memory of doing that exact same thing where it's like I get five minutes on the vent and then I'll run to the kitchen get baklava run back it'll be my turn again yeah oh my god it's amazing it's so funny uh okay yeah so I think kevin and bethany come back in a few hours and they are excited they're still scared but they're like billy billy we we found somebody what they requested to remain anonymous okay that's fine that's what they said yeah but we know okay and I don't know yeah but where is the entrance it's gonna be a problem I'll say that much I was thinking it was the bottom of a well oh that's a good idea so it'd be a well underground so what the wells in cliffside go all the way down to the bottom of the deep ward to like the okay I'm very confused about the wells I think okay yeah because my understanding is that it's like a cistern basically that they haul water up to and then fill oh I was thinking it was like water gets piped to like an underground lake oh okay and then they draw it out of that yeah okay what if the well is covered oh so you don't know where it is yeah like you don't even know where the well is but there is a well it's an old well that they like decommissioned covered up yeah so they say it's somewhere in cliffside is the entrance to this well unfortunately they don't know where the actual entrance to the well is like you can't see it or something no it's like covered up oh they did say that it was somewhere by the lighthouse okay but it's like old and like weird because it's like the white house is like pretty far from the white boy but that's what they said okay thanks kevin no problem billy hey if you go and bring me a picture book yeah of course thank you you're welcome okay okay I'm gonna go find my dad's now okay bye and he turns around he puts a shirt up to the vent immediately it's a huge reveal for kevin that he has dads oh maybe that's just what he thinks because every time billy goes off the day they're like oh my god I'm gonna go find my dad's now I'm gonna go back good luck pal okay you get up there and you find your dad they're out there somewhere you can do it billy wherever they are I'm sure they love you you find him one of these days I will bethany waves bye too bye bethany I'll bring you a book too cool can't like something with like a some heft to it oh like a like a not picture book yeah no like a chapter book whoa wow I'm thinking I'll be able to read one day and when I can I want a nice book okay I'll pick a really good one okay bye Yeah, so he climbs up back through the bakery, and then he listens.

He can hear the bar. So he's like, just running. And he's like, so hard. And then he looks in his pocket. He's like, I guess I don't need all this blocklava. So he takes a bunch out, but he keeps some. Yeah. And what's it like desert pest? Just rats? Lizards. Bunch of rats running out. And a big lizard. A pretty big lizard. A bunch of rats and one big lizard. So I throw one of the treats at the lizard. I'm like, just eat it. Get away from me. Skitters off into a corner. Where's the bar?

It is in Cliffside. Okay. I think it's kind of adjacent to the lighthouse. Sort of down the street a bit, right on the- On the road? On the Tallow Road. Yeah. The Tallow Road goes from the Tallow Gate all the way to the lighthouse. Cool. So yeah, Billy, you get to the bar. You hear like, like really loud music. Coming through the walls. Yeah, so I cover my ears and I run to the entrance where I see Tuck. There's a pretty big crowd. Like it's night. It's McCall's nightlife. It's Thrummond.

Oh God. I'm talking to an asshole at the front of the line. Bro, I'm on the list. There isn't a list. Let me see the list. The list is me deciding if you're cool or not. There's not a physical list? No. Then why do you have a list? This is a grocery list. I want to see your manager, bro. I want to see your manager. So I call Greg. I'm like, Greg, this guy wants to talk to you. What do you want? Oh God. Don't make me do this. You set the situation up. I did. What do you want? I'm on the list.

I can't do it. I'm on the list, man. There's no list. But I… Okay, fine. I'm not on the list. I assume there was a list. It's a trick that's worked before. Get the fuck out of here, bro. He just leaves. He just goes to the end of the lineup. Okay, I'm trying to make up my words. Back of the line. Yeah. And Billy comes skittering up with his hands over his ears. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Billy, what's up? I have a secret.

So I pick Billy up and I'm like, Greg, can you watch the door for a second? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Hey, Billy. And he reaches out and he ruffles your hair. Hi, Greg. Okay, fine. All right, cool. I'm trying to connect. Sorry. It's fine. I'm not great with kids. Me neither. All right. And I'm like, Greg, I've let in 40 redheads and 60 blondes and I walk away. Don't count them like that. I'm like, okay, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. And two women. Oh, my God. Yes, it's you too. Yeah. You step a little bit further down the street. Okay. What's up? So I talked to Kevin and Bethany and they told me that there's one way that we can get into the library, but through a well that's been covered up and they said it was by the big tower by the lighthouse. Okay. It's a disused well. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Wait, where does Ving work again? He works down below.

He works in the deep ward. Yeah. And he comes up and does outreach with people in the poorer districts. Oh, right. Are you down in the deep ward right now? Yeah, I am. Oh, Ving might know someone in city works. Okay. I'll go find him. Well, I'll come with you. What? But you're working. Greg. What? I have chlamydia. Yeah. Okay. And also want to leave work. You can just say, you know what? I'm going to leave work. We don't want to be here. We're barbarians, man. Okay.

I have to go take care of my kid. Yeah. He has diarrhea. I have kids. You don't have to explain yourself. Just go. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. And Greg turns around and is like, yes, no, no, yes, yes, no. I turned to Billy. I'm like, that guy's a fucking mess. That's a crap. Tell me everything I know. Yes. No. Yes. Yes. Five coins. No. Yeah. So you just head down to where Ving works. Yeah. Does Ving work in like a society, like an association? Yeah. Yeah.

I guess it would just be like a deep ward institution. Yeah. Cool. So yeah, you're talking to, I guess, one of the dwarves that you work with. Who's this dwarf? Crunch. Crunch. Is that a given name or an adopted name? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What did dwarf sound like? Do they sound just like people, I guess? I think you made the one dwarf sound like she was from Transylvania. She was kind of from Transylvania. Oh, Lawrence. Okay. I like that. Okay, Ving.

So what we are going to do today is you take the dry ice, which is cooling other things like food. Don't just give them the ice. Don't give them the ice. Dry ice is very dangerous. I'm just saying we should probably hide it in something else. Because the people really want the dry ice. Okay. No dry ice. Change my mind. No ice. Very handy up there. Okay. Maybe some. I'm going to say 50%. If we could disguise the dry ice as wet ice. Oh, so we put it in. No, no, no.

We've been in trouble for this before. Okay. So you just take it. You go to step side. There are some people that have been displaced by a cart dealership and they need a little help. Yeah. So you go do that. I've been there before. I'm going to go inside and reconsider our dry ice policy. You can go crunch the numbers. I'm going to go. Oh God. He just turns around and walks inside. I love him. Yeah. I love this guy. I like these two's dynamic. Get your little crunch.

Oh, I just came up with a really stupid curse for dwarves. Like a Jesus Christ kind of thing. He goes, oh, hammer and tongs. And he just turns around and walks inside. And you're just out there, I guess, counting stuff when Billy and Tuck show up. One, two. Vang. Hey. Whoa. Hey guys, what are you doing? Billy. I have a secret. You look very excited. He's bouncing in my arms. Wow. What are you counting? Food? I don't care anymore. Okay. I'm counting my best friends. One, two.

So I found out how to get to the library, kind of. What? Kevin and Bethany said that there's an old well that's covered up and it's by the lighthouse. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. But that's how apparently you can get into the library. Whoa. Okay. Good work. Yeah. We were wondering if from your work down here, you knew anyone in city works that would know about disused wells, like in the sticks.

Yeah. We can go talk to the dwarven people down in the, what's it called? The underworld? Deep word. The deep word. Where you are right now. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Where I work. Yeah. Where you're standing currently. What's this called down here? Downstairs. Yeah. A tram goes by. It's just like.

Like on the roof yeah upside down they do that thing where they just like sometimes the tracks twist around in weird ways oh yeah but the cart always stays upright yeah but there is like a really terrified kid from the low ward like in there help help what would be the administrative center of a ward as opposed to a city oh I think city hall yeah yeah okay so yeah like decentralized with these guys so what's that gonna look like I think council hall oh council hall like a community hall yeah yeah like a meeting area yeah I wonder if it's elected or if it's like a lottery from each of the like industries everybody takes turn on this yeah exactly like it's not like I live my whole life to be a politician it's like I have an anvil and I'm representing the anvil people yeah and I have to do that they're making me yeah yeah so it's that but it is a council but the council has a lot of turnover yeah so the council hall would be a place where they would keep records of different construction stuff so city stuff yeah it's possible that they came upon a well uh I had an idea there I was like oh they actually keep like a mental record oh where it's not like paper files because dwarves live so long that there's just like people that are record keepers so that is true I think and I think they're called the codices and there are individual codexes for different things sick so like there's a group known as the codices which is like there's the you know the well codex or whatever the infrastructure codex and they just remember like 500 years worth of shit oh my god sick cool the waterways and stuff totally so they're like 500 years old yeah dwarves I think have a they're like uh lobsters they're functionally immortal until they are you know killed or something like that or they get sick oh my god we introduced this in cruel runnings where it's like the older they get the more they just turn into rock yeah they get really craggy so the codices are really small they're not small they're not small they're not probably just like almost lumps of stone like they're just like what do you want yeah some of the really old ones they get nicknames of old stone yeah oh yeah so you I guess you guys have probably never talked to a codex before no no why the fuck would I do that all right well you're gonna be really disappointed when you get to the council hall the deep ward stuff closes up top stuff doesn't really close in the deep ward because there's no really day night cycle people go to sleep but then people just take their place so the council hall is thankfully open and there are a bunch of people in the opening hall and there's like administrative people behind desks there's just lines everywhere tons of lines vick just walks up to the front it says hello we need to talk to the codex back of the line please blam blam blamba it's me ving have we met I brought you a bunch of dry ice last week you had that party you had that party you had that party you had that party you had that party you had that party I am unfamiliar you gotta roll something you gotta give it you're basically standing next to a line full of frustrated trades people okay it looks like you have a lot of people lined up here yes and there's only one administrative person yes I have a limited knowledge but I'm very good with people I can help you work your way through this line double time we can get these people through and get them back to their lives back to helping everyone I will help you I'll put in a good amount of volunteer hours if you just let us go through volunteer hours very very voluntarily good person role parlay volunteer hours was the right way to go seven plus my charisma eight oh yeah so she says okay fine if you can help me figure out if these people are even in the right lines I will I will rush you through but I mean what's the what are they waiting for we don't know it's like it's people that are looking for permits people that are looking to talk to experts like it's a big administrative line it's a city hall lineup people here for a lot of different reasons there's a person that just has a goat like a huge goat on a chain yeah there's a person that's carrying something that looks like molten metal in a barrel like it's just a ton of shit can we just start going around talking to them billy tuck yeah of course yeah we can totally do that thing goes to the goat ask him what he needs defy danger wisdom damn it six I can aid two plus bond yeah holy shit sick guys so you just get a point of experience that's fun sick that's nice so you're all it's a pretty crowded place you said that there was just one it's not there's a ton of people but there's a ton of different administrative lines it's very stressful very confusing for you because you don't understand how that works down obviously we just fucked everything up but you're all kind of deep in the crowds and you hear lots of voices people are getting frustrated because you're making it worse one hundred percent you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're like okay goat go over there guy with goat don't go with goat goat you go over here goat man billy's just walking around through people's legs like tripping people up and tuck is like I know how to deal with lines I've learned from the best and I'm like in in in in five coins and the dwarf that you were talking to is like standing on her desk now like no stop stop then you're like okay I don't even understand what's going on and you turn and you're like hey you what line is this and it's like evangelical permitting and you're like evangelical permitting why would there be like a religious line down here and you hear from the doorway of city hall okay everybody get out of my way move it official light guard business the hair on the back of tucks next sticks up and you straightens out looking from kneeling on the ground from where this goat has just taken a huge shit you're trying to help clean it up and through the crowd you see fattened stuck like slut he slumps down as far on the ground as he can get to try and melt himself into the crown of dwarves to so phantom doesn't see he's in the goat shit uh and that's what we're gonna enter for this week I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me is tacoma dome the barbarian played by abdulaziz oh my god being the half elf druid played by paul loppers see you next time and fat billy the halfling thief played by jessica tie oh no thanks for area to aaron reed for our amazing intro and outro music and thank you to sporters for all of the ways you support we love you check us out on facebook twitter the internet at Spout Lore most places I'm really excited to be in season seven everybody I'm having a good time already and I hope you are too we'll see you next time bye-bye and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spell!

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello and welcome everybody to Spout Lore.

I'm your host, I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara, and joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello. Playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello. Playing Fat Billy the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes, we came upon them three months into their inhabitation, inhabiting, well, three months into them living, four months after the end of season six. We came three months into our sublet. Yeah. In the city of McCall.

Billy, Ving, and Tuck, along with Perel, traveled to the city of McCall in an attempt to find a reason that Perel, the wizard, is no longer able to cast spells of any kind. They've been living with a man named Caj Alplats, Plates, Caj Alplates, a clerk in the city of McCall who owns a two bedroom condo, and Perel lives in a studio apartment across the street. This is maybe the weirdest setup for a season we've ever had. I know. It's the setup to two guys that grill at a pizza place, essentially.

It kind of is. It's like got a real friends situation. Yeah, kind of. Like the big apartment, then the small apartment across the hall. Yeah. Our friend is used to have magic and he doesn't. That was season eight of Friends. Yeah. When Chandler is cut off from the Thaumic realm. Joey lives in the freezer. The inciting incident for this season was that Perel became so frustrated in his attempts to gain a sense of security, he decided to go to the hospital. He was in a coma. He was in a coma.

He was in a coma. He was in a coma. He was in a coma. He was in a coma. He was in a coma. He was in a coma. He was in a coma. The inciting incident for this season was that Perel became so frustrated in his attempts to gain entry to the Margani Library that he has decided it's time to try and break in to get the information he requires. So, Billy consulted some Ragamuffins that he's been hanging out with. Yes.

We found out that there's a secret entrance to the Margani Library that is connected to a disused well of some kind that is supposedly located somewhere in the cliffside valley.

Cliffside district of the upper ward yeah near the lighthouse yeah near the lighthouse of mccall the reason the city is named the eternal flame of the west just because the lighthouse still works and you can see it from pretty much everywhere the lighthouse still works I think so cool yeah this giant built lighthouse still has a flame how many feet up is it yeah don't ask me questions like that you tell me uh I don't know like the lighthouse is from when it was a giant city right yeah so and you and I were talking about it giants were about 20 to 30 feet tall what if it's like the eiffel tower kind of height oh damn that's big yeah that's big just fucking huge yeah not as wide as the eiffel tower but it's tall yeah yeah just gigantic um and the yeah there's just like a rotating light in there still nobody made I know it doesn't doesn't rotate oh old old school lighthouses didn't rotate it was just like a beacon basically in all directions yeah you could just see it from everywhere oh that means probably at night of mccall there's still like light everywhere keep in mind it's really high up there's a skirt along the bottom like at the bottom of the light that shields the town oh so it makes a shadow on the town so cliffside's still really dark and actually maybe some parts of it are darker than normal because they don't really get sunlight oh that makes sense that that is the worst neighborhood yeah because it's so fucking dark all the time yeah cool the things that we know about the characters tuck works as a bouncer at a barbarian bar called the bar yeah which is the og barbarian bar yeah he works for an orc named grec who's a pretty nice guy just a gruff old punk ving does outreach in the city of mccall with the socialist dwarves of the deep ward working for a man named crunch who sounds like a dracula and billy goes out at night and he's like I'm going to take a break from this and I'm going to take a break from this and I'm going to take a break from this And just fucks around with a bunch of street kids.

Yeah. But has had interactions with Ifrit. Yes. In that they don't attack him and he speaks to them. Tuck is very angry with you for going out at night. Oh, yeah. Because Tuck is afraid of Ifrit. Oh, true. Yeah. They're not as scary as they are. Well, I guess they kind of are. But it's more just Ifrit are just demons. And like Billy's a fairy. So he can kind of interact with the Ifrit. And they're just the shadows of children who are taken away. Oh, right. Yeah, they were.

Because that's the rumor on the street among the urchins is like, if you get caught by an Ifrit, you'll turn into an Ifrit. Yeah. They're trying to gather friends. Fuck. It's really spooky. Yeah. That's okay. Billy talks to them. Yeah. And he hasn't made any fail better. But he usually is able to get them to go away. To leave the other kids alone. Wow. Wow. That's huge. Holy shit. Billy's like a guardian now. A little bit. Yeah.

Because I was going to say, so maybe in the three months that you've been in the city, there have been fewer Ifrit on the streets. Whoa. Because Billy's been able to stop it. From time to time. He can't save everybody. But Billy doesn't think about that. Because he's not aware of all that really. Yeah, totally. It's just a nice byproduct. And now you have a pouch of saffron that you can't eat. I can't eat it because I can't open it. And I'm not going to break the glass.

I'm going to break the glass jar because I know that they're hard to find sometimes. It's a very expensive small jar. It is. It's like a really cute little tiny one. You knew it took a lot of work. This costs over $2, Billy. Do not break it. Okay. I'll never break it. I'll protect it with my life. Two whole coins. And while looking for information into where this old well might be, the party took a trip to the council hall of the deep ward in an attempt to talk to one of the codices.

Which we determined are the living dwarven archives of the deep ward and probably of the city of McCall. And while trying to help a beleaguered administrative assistant, you made it so, so much worse. Like there's pandemonium in this waiting area now. We're so administratively stupid that we can't even enforce our five gold coin a day. Fee. You've literally never collected that fee. Once. But it was more of a robbery than anything. It kind of was.

And we were given the complex administrative task of sorting a line out. Bing took the Rolodex and was plucking the names out, reading them, and then handing them thinking it was a ticket. Oh my God. And while this horror was unfolding in front of these bureaucrats, Tuck heard a familiar voice yelling over the crowd. It's Fadim. It's Fadim. It's Fadim. Warrior of the light guard and Tuck's old bully. And that is what we're going to do. That is where we find ourselves now.

Tuck is on the ground kneeling in a bunch of shit from a giant goat. Giant goat? Taller than you guys. Well, I mean, maybe. No, not taller than you guys, but taller than the dwarf that's like walking it. That's a huge goat. Cool. You're right. It is a huge goat. You didn't tell us that last time. I said a giant goat. I didn't know it was giant. I just saw a regular goat. No, bigger than a normal goat. Wow. Let's get this goat out of here. Welcome to fantasy.

Most of my fantasy stuff is an animal, but big. Yeah. That's true. What was the villain in the original season? Boragulch. A frog, but big. Because you'll notice in the most recent episode, the pests on the street are rats and a lizard, but big. No, I thought they were regular sized. I said a big lizard. The lizard was big. Oh, no, I can't run from that. This is a big deal. This is a game changer for me now. Lizards don't care about you at all.

They're bigger than rats, but they're not like gigantic. They're like iguana sized, but they're not iguanas. It's like a dragon. Billy in his mind is like, I fought a dragon earlier tonight. So tough. Okay, you pick me up. I'm like, look. Look at it. Billy, we met a dragon. Yeah, but did you meet that one? Look at that one. And it just licks its own eyeball. I could do that. It's still kind of scary. Things like, watch. Half elves have really long tongues. That's why ladies love Vink. Vink.

Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. And that is where we find our heroes now. This waiting area, tuck on the ground behind a bunch of people, can hear and see Fatim through some bodies. He started like army crawling with all this shit on him. Away. Defy danger. Dexterity. Dexterity? Okay. Get away quietly. These ones are shit. Did you just pick up my high school dice and say these ones are shit? Yeah. They are.

Virgin powers. Yeah, but they only were for white people. It's true. I would believe that actually. Based on the ethnic makeup of the town that I grew up in. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Please help me get away. Seven plus dexterity. Seven. But I mean, a seven is not a six. Okay. So Fatim is not going to see you. However. The smears of shit. The tuck sized shit trail. Yeah, there's that for sure. Yeah, Fatim walks up to the shit trail and he's, he's like, what's this?

And then he's like, no, he probably eats. He does. No, no, no, no. I do think it's funny that he would taste shit because he's fucking stupid, but I think he's also stupid enough that he is just barreling his way to the front. Okay. Everybody out of my way. He got a taste. Okay. Okay. After we leave this scene, we're going to cut back for the first time ever to a point of view character that is not the three of you. And Fatim's going to taste the shit and go has taste familiar.

He's not going to know it's you. I will say that because you did get a seven and nine. He won't know that it's you. You don't want him to know it's you right now because he the light guard currently has no idea that you guys are in town because if Adam eating shit is hilarious, but I'm telling you right now that you can stick around and he can eat shit as much as you want.

But if the light guard, specifically Fatim and the torture McCall, find out that you're in the city, that's they're going to know I'm crawling kind of to the edge of the room to the corner. Totally. What are what are Ving and Billy doing? Ving's going to get the goat. He's going to talk to goat and convince him to like keep shielding us, right? You can still talk to animals, right? Okay, cool. What are you telling this goat? I'm going to say, hey, man, your shit is beautiful.

That's a nice pile of shit. Do you want to like, I don't like hang out, go to the bar. Do you know the bouncer? What do you want? Do you want? I have zero frame of reference for any of the things you just said. I don't know what a bar is. I don't take pride in my shit. No, no. Why would I? You met a goat before? No, we don't do that. We don't do that. There's a bunch of hay over here. Oh, he should have said so. Roll a 2d6 plus charisma. Eight. Nice. Yeah, there you go.

So he's our head lead away big boy. And what's Billy doing? Following the goat as well. Yeah, but Billy had climbed up on one of the pillars. Oh, like one of the columns in the room. Yeah. And so he's like, oh, no. And he just like dead weight drops to the ground and lands kind of silently. You set this up on your own. So is Billy trying to land on his feet or is he trying to bounce through it? He's literally just like land on his back. So you had crawled up there to get away from Fatto?

I guess to get a vantage point. To get a vantage point to like, I don't know. 2d6 plus constitution. Eight. Okay. So Billy just lets go and falls on his back like eight feet. Wins himself. Yeah. Something in your pack breaks. No. Of course. You landed on your fucking back. What is it? Walnuts. You've been trying to get into those walnuts for a while. This is kind of a nice thing. Oh, that's funny enough. I'm a lot. I'm willing to accept that.

So you hear and you're like, no, wait, that was my walnuts like gonna army crawl to and you all just like scuttle out of the council hall of the deep ward. What do we hear? Fat I'm saying is we're trying to scuttle out of that. I was like, hey, so I just got back to town after a good long ways that we've been. I've been look. I've been gone and I'm back. I want my place back and he's just like arguing with this administrative assistant about getting his apartment back.

Please, please get in the line there. I swear there was a line before you came in some fools ruined it for me, but I just please get in the line and he's like yelling. She's like this isn't even the right office. We don't do housing. It's just a huge bureaucratic fucking kerfuffle and fad. I'm doing that thing like nah, this is the right place. You go get your you get your boss and you guys have time. You're just out here. You're covered in goat shit. There's a goat here.

He's like, hey, where's your grass? It's just at the door. Come on. Now. There's a big goat thing is walking a big goat on a chain. Just come this way to the grass. There's no grass McCall's guys. Fuck. I stand up once we scuttle outside. I'm like, wait big. Did you just steal that fucking goat? We got to go guys. We got a goat now. Okay. Yeah. So what's your plan now? You're just gone out. Well, we fucking need to talk to one of these codices. Yeah.

Is there another way back in so how the deep ward looks? Is there are big courtyard areas like basically the council halls carved out of the rock. So it's like there are like alleys on either side of it. There might be doors or windows in. It's like a big city building. Yeah, but underground. Yeah, so you could go sneak in but you'll be breaking into a government. I don't care. Right? Yeah, that's totally fine. You can easily find a door around another side. Let's find a door on the other side.

Come on goat. There's more hay over here. Why are we keeping this? I don't know. He's my best friend. Also, Billy can't talk to goat. It's like, come on, go. He's like, can I really impress his goat? What do you how? What? Why? I'm gonna suck him off. I'm gonna blow the goat. No, I don't know. I don't know how to impress a goat. That's how we used to do it. I just want to know why you're trying to impress a goat. What do you mean? We sorry.

I meant we I know goats like being brushed as per the fucking petting zoo. They also love to heads with. They love butting heads with things. I want to know why you're trying to impress this goat. I'm gonna mark him. I'm gonna use mark of the mark of the animal. What? He's gonna he's gonna use eyes of the tiger. Eyes of the tiger. Mark this goat so he can see through the goat's eyes. Forever. Whoa. Oh, you could push him back in there. Spy on fat of him. Smart. That's true.

I give him a little bit of my moss. I say, hey, sorry to take this. This is very special. It's very delicious. All right. Yeah. Yum yum. Hi, Hoov. Clop. Good to see you. I rub my knuckles in between his horns. You didn't have to do that. So so itchy. That's actually why I was taking me to the council hall because I got goat mites. You gotta go mites. Hold on a second. I tell the mites get better. Get the fuck out of here. Mites or I'm gonna soak this goat and and vinegar. Yeah, I'll do it too.

Oh, let me always leave. You should roll for that for that. This is fucking stupid. But you're Billy Billy and Tucker standing there just trying to clean some of the shit off of. Yeah, thing has got some time. Yeah, I'm just like Billy. Is there any on my back and I turn around covered in shit. I only saw you crawling on your front like I don't even know how you got it on the back. So what'd you get six? Oh, you guys are busy. You guys are busy. No, let me help. Ving has goat mites now.

Let me help. That's it. Things got goat mites in my merino. They're in my hair. Things got goat mites. The goat doesn't have goat mites though. And he's like, wow, I can't believe that you would sacrifice your comfort for me. Yeah, no, no problem, pal. I kind of regret it. Hey, you and I were my brothers now. And then Ving does the two eyes to two goat eyes. Yeah, the weird like hourglass shaped eyes. I'll see you around, brother. I'll see you seeing me around, brother.

Whatever that nods his head. He nods his head to Billy and tuck. We don't notice he bows on one leg. Back guys. Oh, I certainly notice and I bow also any really worked out being scratching every part of his body. Do you want some walnut shells for that? I'm okay. Thanks pal. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So you're trying to find a side entrance. Yeah, I'm going to discern reality. There we go, baby. Time to roll some dice. More dice. Holy God. Plus wisdom six. If someone wants to help. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Sick. I will aid by being taller than me. Yeah, I guess like holding them up. Yeah. Standard nine. Cool. Cool. Cool. All right. So you get one question from the list. What here is useful or valuable to me? So there is a service entrance. Basically people that go in and clean the place. There's a door. There's a door. So some you see a custodian like walk in the door and the door starts to swing shut and then get stuck and doesn't close all the way classic. Yeah. Yeah.

So the door is like both unlocked and openable. Okay. Put me down. I put him down. Okay. I run to the door and I put my finger and I'm like, we're going to go in this way. You guys figure in the crack. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Okay. We run up behind and we're like, great job. And I just opened the door. Yeah, I guess so. Wait, trap expert. Yeah, sure. Oh, smart. That's okay. Of course it is. Yeah. Fuck. Fuck. Plus dexterity. Well, six. I don't know. Yeah. All right. How are we going to aid with this?

Maybe like tuck is about to like swing the door wide open and being like, like stops. Great. Nice bond. Great. Cool. Seven. So you get one question from trap expert. Okay. So I know there's a custodian. What else is hidden here? There are uniforms for the custodial staff and the building. Yes. Because people, people of all races work in the deep ward. Like it's not just dwarves. Yeah. So the guy that you actually saw the custodian you saw going in was a human. So there are human sized ones.

You could probably rig up a baby sized. I don't know what tuck's going to do. There's orc size ones like orcs are big. Yeah. Seven feet tall and five feet. Yeah. But there's other barbarians. That's about. Well, no, I'm actually huge. Oh, really? Okay. Barbarian is a cultural thing, not a size. Yeah. Do you think that orcs are that big? I think orcs are like, yeah, seven feet like you. Yeah, I think they can be seven feet. I think it's still going to be quite tight on you. Sure.

Because you're the size of a king size bed. Yes. Booty shorts. Billy, something I totally forgot. What? You got to roll your fairy child for your hold. All right. So fairy child, you are a fairy, a nature spirit bound to material form. At the beginning of each day, roll plus charisma on a 10 plus hold five on seven to nine hold three and on a six minus hold one. Any unused points do not carry over and may be replenished each morning at sunrise.

At any time you may spend a point one for one for one of the following effects. Create a convincing illusion vanish from sight charm into an individual for a short while overcome your weakness momentarily switch to objects within view. Cool. Sick. Sick. So two to six plus charisma please seven seven, which means you get sorry. How much? Oh, a seven. I get three holds. Cool. So you have three hold to spend one to one on those effects whenever you choose to. You could do three magics. Yeah.

So is there anything that you want to use now or do you just want to hold on to him? I mean, I guess you guys are disguising right now. Cool. Yeah, they're basically items you can use whenever you want. So cool. So there are disguises kind of. Yeah. Tuck immediately starts putting on a disguise and I'm like it's nice that I don't have to kill someone for this one. You get the pants like Tuck still has the problem where they're long enough, but he's like busting like the calves.

The shirt doesn't close all the way. Like it's kind of a vest. He's dressed like a calendar of janitors. Yeah, like a sexy calendar janitor guys. How cool is this? Huh? I start spinning. Yeah. So and Billy's wearing a dwarf outfit. That's a little baggy on him because you're quite stocky. I have to roll up the arms, but I'm okay. Yeah. And Vig, you're looking fine. I look like an amazing janitor. Yeah, perfectly fit. You look like a janitor. You look like you were born to wear that uniform.

I was a housekeeper once. You look great. Thank you. Watch this. He grabs a mop. Perfect figure eight. Oh my God. I thought you were a janitor for a second. Technically, I am. It sounds like Billy's being sarcastic, but he's being genuine. Oh my God. I thought you were a janitor for a second. No, he's being genuine. Yeah. So you are in the council hall. Yeah. Tuck grabs one of the carts and he starts like wheeling through the hallways. Yeah. There's like surprisingly high quality.

Not surprisingly. It's the deep ward. There are very high quality lamps in here. So everything's lit basically like a government office building. What are the lamps made out of? Yeah. Can we take them? Can you tell me? They're made of the crystal from the magic crystal. The magic light crystals from Etienne Boggins' house. It's government, so it's really well funded. Yeah.

Tuck's about to take them and then Vig's like, because he was a janitor and he just lifts up the side of the cart and points to like boxes and boxes of spares. Oh, you got tons. Are there spare? Yeah, there would be spares. Crystals in the janitor. Yeah, sure. He puts three of those in his backpack. They're basically worthless in McCall. They're light bulbs. Great. I want him anyway. Okay. And they're useless to Billy now because his magic works totally different. I don't care. I want.

It doesn't matter. I want them. I just grab them. I distribute one to each. I'm imagining a soprano style situation where you're like, hey, we got a bunch of light bulbs fell off a truck. We're selling them for 10 cents on the dollar. Toilet paper is worth a lot in McCall. We take a bunch of those. Yeah. Wow. You still a bunch of light bulbs, but there's magic in these, but like not really kind of, but not really magic. Maybe they'll help Perel. That's what I'm thinking.

Yeah, I'm going to try and get Perel to try and swallow this. Grind it up and snort it. There's got to do something. Okay. Yeah. So you're in the building. What's your plan to look for one of those thingies code zone. Oh, codex codex. Yeah, this is what it is. A codex or one of the codices. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You have no idea where they are in this building. It's huge. Are there people around? Yeah, there's like there's a lunchroom. There's a lunchroom with a couple custodians.

There's a dwarf and somebody that looks like they have orcish blood, but they're not full work. Just like having a meal coffee or whatever. I walk in. I'm like, hey, it's our first day here. We're supposed to clean up a codex or a codice. Point back at Bill at billion big. Hello. Hi. Yeah. So do you know where the code zone is or whatever it is, wherever that is? We heard it's just right over there and things just raking this finger across the whole front of the room.

It's right in this direction. We were told it's over here somewhere. Okay. Two to six plus charisma. Six, seven, eight. Okay. Yeah. Oh, we don't. This is your first day. Yeah. Did somebody ask you to clean up a codex chamber? That's what the guy said. That's weird because we don't do that. Who does that? Nobody because it's basically their their room. They clean their own room. Oh, they don't move a lot. Have you seen a codex before? Honestly? No. Okay. Have you? What do they look like?

Yeah, they are really slow. Yeah, they speak very slowly and they don't move a whole lot. So they don't really create a lot of mess. I think one of the wanted towels or something. That's so weird. A turndown service. I don't know if they're going to let are you sure that you're in the right place and they're starting to get suspicious. Oh, I'm not sure. Is this the is this the the civil engineering tower and tucking thing are like what the fuck where did you learn that?

Where did he learn the words civil and engineering and tower and this? Okay, two d6 plus charisma from Billy. Oh God or or or or or or or you know, I'm going to use it for fun because I can hold. Yeah, you can make you can ingratiate yourself. Charming individual for a short while. Okay, so who you charming the one who seems suspicious. Yeah, and you see them their eyes like twinkle a little bit as the as your your fairy power takes hold of their their heart and mind.

And the custodians like, oh, okay. No, sorry. Sorry. You're totally you're in the wrong. You're in the wrong place. Oh, it's crazy. I'm sorry. No, that's totally fine. You're all so you're supposed to be working in the civil engineering town. Yeah, first day whoopsies. You know how it is. No, see this is this is civil works, not civil engineering. A lot of people get that wrong here. Come along. Come come with me. I'll get you where you need to go. Oh, let's go.

Okay, here we come following you coming with you now. And so this custodian who says that his name is Turpal is just like taking you through the back room or the back ways of like the council hall. Oh, cool. Just chatting you up. Yeah. So so you're all here for the first time. You're all starting today. Yeah. Yeah. Just got the job. What'd you do before this prisoners helping prisoners. Oh, good. Say fire. Oh, cool. Yeah. So yeah, helping prisoners. That's really cool.

Yeah, you know getting them rehabilitated. Yeah, that's awesome. That's like right. Where's Billy learning these vocabulary. Yeah. So you all worked in the prison together. Yeah, we were a team cool. They pay us one salary all three of us. Yeah, we only have to work a third of the time and then we can get side jobs. Yeah, while we're not at the prison working. You know what if it works for you, that sounds great. I wish I could only work a third of the time, right? Yeah, right.

That's hardly working. Yeah, totally. All right. Well, you know, you know, there's going to be a lot of new stuff, a lot of information. I'll hand you off to the civil engineering wing, but if you need any help settling in or meeting people, my name is Paul. Thanks to Paul and you get to a helpful you get to a room or you get to a corridor with a door that says civil engineering and to Paul like takes a key off his belt and like unlocks the door opens it. Here you go. Have a great night to Paul.

You too. You know, I didn't get your names. Oh, I'm Bill Bill I'm Vince Vince I'm Tacoma Dome Tacoma Dome. Don't worry about him. Okay. Well, you know, have a great first day and I'll see you all around. See you. Now if we see you first. Okay. Bye. Bye. Door closed. I turned to these. I'm like, sorry for all those weird lies. I got so thrown by seeing phantom fuck. That's okay buddy. Do you need a minute? No.

So you're in the civil engineering wing, which Billy knew about, which I think is hilarious. I didn't know. I just put I Billy was like, I just put some words together and got lucky. Yeah. Did you ever pal? Yeah. Yeah. So now you're here. What's your plan now? Find the codex. Okay. So just start creeping about. Yeah, I guess so. Discern realities. Yeah. Look out for. Yeah. Plus wisdom. Wisdom. Yeah. Seven. Okay. So you get one question. What should we be on the lookout for? Like a map, I guess.

Maybe like a like a, you know, those like here are the fire exit. You are here. Kind of map. Yeah. It's one of those. You find one of those like engraved into the wall. A map that is the layout of the chambers. And building. So you see that you're in a long service corridor that connects to a ventilation room, a heating room. They're two different rooms, a bunch of bathrooms, a gym. There's a gym in here. It's pretty nice. A lot of benefits. Tuck's gone. No. It's his week. How long are you?

No, he doesn't go. Quick 45. That's it. And you see, uh, through like council chambers, council hall, antechamber, you see far in the back, uh, into what looks like where the building melds into a cavern wall is codex chambers. So you kind of got, you've got the direction. You don't have to worry about that. Should we just go there? Yeah. It's the sort of thing like there's going to be people around. So you're going to have to maybe charm your way past or just sneak through.

Like, how are you getting through here without people paying attention to you? We're trying to look like janitors. Yeah. Okay. But they don't usually have genders in this part, do they? No, but I think that this could just be like a defy danger charisma where you're trying to like we're janitors and whoever rolls this, you're going to roll for everybody and you'll get a plus one because of the discern realities.

We're the new guys and they put us on cleaning the gym because it's a shitty stinky job. Yeah, totally. Yeah. So who's who's leaving it? I'll do it. All right. Tuck's leaving it plus one nine. Oh, nine plus one. Oh, there's a plus. One from the discern realities. Oh, fucking 10. All right. So you all just are real janitors about this. What's that look like? Tuck Tuck is smelling the air and he's good. P you. This smells bad. I wish everything smelled like cleaning solution.

Vang is picking out stuff from the garbage and putting recycling and he's undone his top button. Oh, yeah. Off a tuft of hair. Wow. A janitor. Billy. Billy already has a dirty face and he also took one of the toilet paper rolls like the big ones that you see in like government buildings and he's like carrying it on his back like tough day. Tough day in the office. I think this is indicative of the fact that all of us have almost never been indoors. Yeah, totally.

This is certainly not in government buildings and people are walking by like you see another custodian when Billy's like tough days like tell me about it and talks like P you. I wished everything smelled bad and it's the same guy and he goes tell me about and things like separating things into recycling with no hair and he points at the hair and he says tell me about this guy. What is his name? Hey man, what's up? My name is Vance. Tell me about my name's Vance to what? Tell me about it.

Well, it's a family name Vance being just realized that he stole Vance's other uniform says Vance on it crazy. We're the same size too. Well, see you later. Huh? Tell me about it and he just walks away down the hall. That guy's vibe was that he was also snuck in here too. Yes. It wasn't a job parallel heist. There was five Vance outfits by the front door. There are currently four different crimes taking place in this building. Six people named Vance are in this building right now. Oh my God.

That's amazing. That's really funny man and patrons for a hundred dollars a month. You can hear special games for each one of those crimes. Oh man, and it's called Vance's five already a patron paying a hundred dollars. Hey, this is coming right for you. Yeah, Claire, we're gonna make this podcast for you. Vance's Vance's five. I might cut this out. I just really like the idea of doing the like five stories that all intersect with you three just being like P you the dumbest of the five heists.

Oh man. Yeah, and you make it to this whereas the parts that you were in before were very service corridor. He like not too much ostentation. The corridor leading to the codices chambers is quite nice. Like the wall sconces have like that sort of dwarven many small shapes, making the whole there's one that kind of looks like what we would think of as like pixelated like it's tiny little cubes that make the shape. Wow, these are pretty.

Yeah, there's a lot of really intricate stuff and you get to the end of the hall and laid out in front of you are eight doors. Are they labeled? They are labeled. We discern realities. Well, I mean, you don't have to certain realities to read. Yeah, tuck takes out. Okay. Okay. So what would the eight codices be? These are basically they're the living equivalent of the city archives. So it would be like everything. Maybe they're eras. It would be like era. Oh, okay.

So not by subject, but by epoch. Oh, that'd be that's sick tight. Yeah. So like the first one is old and the new ones probably old, but not quite as definitely not as old as the first one. I'm going to say the first one says onyx cool and onyx.

Onyx makes sense in my head because I think that the Giants used a lot of black stone in their construction and their skin was like obsidian black and the fact that the orcs have gray skin is considered to be evidence of the diminishing of the the oraca fucking sick. Wow. Yeah. And orcs with darker skin are closer to the Giants. Yeah. Cool. Interesting. I don't know. No, that's a really interesting like older family. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Cool. The first one is onyx.

The second one is basalt. The third one is slate. The fourth one is shale. The fifth one is sandstone. Probably when the humans moved into the city of McCall. Oh, cool. The one after that is mantle. The seventh one is quartz and the eighth one is granite. I think granite is the youngest. Yeah, like the industrialization or the modernization. So that dwarves probably only like 200 years old. That probably knows where about old wells. I walk into that room. The door is locked. Oh, Billy. Yeah.

Pick it. Pick 10 plus dexterity 12. All right. I get. All right. That's a 12. So what do you pull out your little I do it. No problem. I have my pin. Oh, you still have the copper needle of the copper needle tracking us with those Billy. Okay. I'm going to get rid of it after this. You're like it's coming in handy pal. And you stick it in the lock and just click and the door is openable. Yeah, we open it. Cold air rushes out. Yeah.

And this one there's a lot more comforts like there's a nice bed in the corner. There's a shelf full of books. There's a bunch of glass music bottles and it's like runs over opens what it means. Immediately check his collection sitting in the middle of the room in a much more ritualized looking space is a checkered tile floor and a carved seat. But since this is quite a young dwarf relatively to the other codices granite is sitting at a desk in the corner reading a book. Oh, oh, sorry.

We should have knocked and you hear like a little bit of a stone on stone grinding. Yeah, as the dwarf turns his head is like hello. Hi, are you lost? No, we're janitors. I do not require janitary services today. Actually, if you have time, we have a few questions. Do you have an appointment? I was not made aware of any visitors. We don't but they just had an opening. This is highly unusual. They usually bring a herald an attendant. Do you have a sleep? Even it's a whole Billy.

Yeah, actually I do. Oh Billy can create a convincing illusion. Yeah, I pull like the name tag off my thing and I give it to him. So it looks like like a paper slip with the signature and stuff. Cool. So he takes the name tag and goes Oh Greg, or I see the fool. Very well. You can stay with me for a short while. Okay, thank you. You hear loud music start playing from the corner and he turns his head back towards talking goes please please do not touch that. I close it back up. Thank you.

I think it's boring music. Anyway, it's just violence. Those are the classics imported directly from the principalities the royal city of Kinos. Was that rock Monanoff that that was stone Monanoff. Yes. Thank you for noticing. So what is it that you require of me today? Do you know much about the wells in this city? I know everything that has happened in McCall in the last 200 years. We're specifically looking for the wells that have been covered up in around the lighthouse.

There were 14 wells that have fallen out of use in the last 200 years. Many for people falling in some for drying out cisterns one. I do not have a reason that it would be closed off. What's that one? That one is on the intersection of yes Ibis way and tourmaline crescent. Oh, so it's in the middle of a road. It is in the middle of the road. Yes. Is it paved over? I believe so. It says flag. So I believe that means that there was a flagstone placed over for some purpose. This is very unusual.

What sort of stones do you generally use for flagstones? Ah, you know one that would traditionally be quite sturdy like maybe granite or something like a granite. No kind of gestures in front of his own face. I would say to exercise caution. Should you be interested in investigating this well further? Why have you been in McCall long? I yeah, I'm I'm from here. Yes, but you moved here recently. Yes moved back recently. Yeah. Yeah, you could tell my accents different. I can it has changed.

Yeah, then you should know. Oh that that intersection is directly in the territory of the jackals. Who are they a rough bunch of extortionists. Some say paid killers not fun folks. Is there anything else you require from me? Do you know if any of the closed off wells have if they lead anywhere most were wells, but now that I think about it the one that I do not have reasoning for. Goes to a disused quartz mine on the edge of the Alcoa desert. It was closed after massive flooding. Many died.

I will not hesitate to say it's a dangerous dangerous place. Thank you. Cool. Thank you. You've been very helpful. Ah, this thing duty of a codex to inform. Thank you. I don't I don't know if we're supposed to give you a gift or anything, but I bow. Oh, I was. Thank you. And he bows his head from his seat. They being changed one of his light bulbs with his light bulb. Thank you.

That has been bothering me for a day so and tuck takes a music bottle from his backpack and he's like this is better than what you've been listening to slowly grabs it pops the top. What is it? It's speed metal, but it's made out of instruments that are just rocks. Okay. What's the name of the band slide? Landslide. Yeah. So he goes, he pops it. He listens and immediately goes a landslide second album on the rocks with which we crush. He's pretty good. I suppose. Yeah. Well, thank you very much.

Pop. I hope you have a fine day. What are your names? If you don't mind, I do not have you in my records thing thing. I'm tuck tuck Billy Billy. Where do you live? Just for we live with cash. Do you know him cash? I'll plates. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Of you know of the lower world plates. Yes. Yes. Wait lower ward. His parents are lower. I said see just now see it's not the word that he's turning into Antonio Ben kind of is he's supposed to be more of a Dracula. Yeah. Yes. I do know the old plates.

Are they fancy? Are they fancy? Folk? Are they wealthy? Yes. I knew there was something about how rich are they significantly but less so than they tell people cool. Tell me exactly how much money they have. He rattles off a number. I write that number down way too much like you're way more than you would expect cash to have but they also have significant debts to a centaur trading company. Cool. What's the name of that centaur trading company? Blackmail blackmail blackmail East Wind imports.

Oh cool. He's just writing stuff down. I should say I hope that you are not using this information for nefarious purposes. No we're planning a surprise party for him. His birthday is coming up. I don't believe you. In six months? No. Within the next or last six months? No. Okay. We're going to blackmail him with this information. Just I hope you understand that I am at no legal responsibility as a codex. Fine yeah. This might be a weird time. Did we ask you your name?

I gave up my name when I became a codex. What was it? I cannot say. Why? That is the one thing that is erased from the records. Oh. Huh. That's interesting. The given names of all codices are forgotten. That was your sacrifice was your past. It is. My connection to my family such as they were. Well wherever they are I'm sure they're proud of you. They are not. Oh. Shit fuck. Hey but look at this. Pretty cool. I guess so. I mean yeah it's a job. I serve my people.

Do you want us to get a message out for you? Tell anyone anything? So his family is not not proud of him because he is a codex because that's it's service to your community. That's like the highest thing. I think that he has he had a lover that he had to leave and as much as they wanted to be like cool that's great that you're becoming a codex. They were like you're leaving me to become a codex. That sucks.

So I think he says if you find yourself in the vicinity of the hibiscus tea house in the alabaster district of the deep ward you can tell Veranda that he is sorry and he loves you very much. Okay. We will. We'll deliver the message. Thank you. Thank you. And you see he's got this kind of far off look in his eye a little bit. I appreciate you coming today. I hope that I helped you. I hope that you do not run afoul of any forces due to my information. You either. Oh I will not.

Well I suppose you need to go get back to cleaning or something. Yep. That's right. Yeah. That's him winking. Do you need this toilet paper? You could leave some. Yes. Okay. Thank you. Is it sandpaper? Sandpaper. He just grinds away at his asshole. Jesus. No he's only kind of rocky. He's young enough. You should fucking see Onyx. Yeah. Just a lump of stone with a mouth. Hey Granite what does Onyx's room look like? I would not go in there. Really? That is to be my faith one day. Oh no.

He's basically a damp little cave with a damp old man. I'm sorry. No he's an incredible asset to the city. His memory goes back millennia. Oh my god. We should see him one day. But he's a real dink. Real dink. Acts like he's better than me just because he's older. At some point I will be as old as he is now. Like he's the only one getting older. Yeah? Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Hammer and tongs. Well I will go back to my reading now. Okay. And I will bid you adieu.

That's right I speak French from earth. Farewell. Farewell. Bye. We leave. Take care. He turns back to his book. And you kind of you did it. You got some information. I feel sad now. Oh no he's like. It's okay. I mean he misses his love but he's he is genuinely very pleased to be this like asset to his life. To his people. And he's pleased that he's getting a message out. Yeah exactly. They're gonna maybe maybe it'll be the start of a correspondence. Which is I think why he helped us at all.

Yeah. Good chance. When Billy says that he feels sad we're like well I don't know. Life is kind of like loving people and then losing them. It doesn't make it worse that you Well at least you're not gonna live forever like that guy Billy. Yeah I am. Shit. I know more than you guys do. It's just hard to sort it out. There's just a lot in there. I've lost so many dads. Storm away. Okay we gotta do something about that.

I'm gonna ask you all to roll me one roll of some kind to get out of this building. I guess we're just gonna try and fake our way out the way we came. Alright. 2d6 plus charisma. Doug's gonna try and like just whistle nonchalantly. Seven. Eight. Nine. Oh. I'll help. Frick. Sorry. It was five. Yeah. I mean you still got a nine. Yeah. That's great. How'd you help? Yeah. How did Billy try to help? Um Billy tried to help by being like excuse me every or no no. No that's stupid. Excuse me everyone.

Look at my dad whistling so nonchalantly. I mean my co-worker. My co-worker. I'm a janitor. Who? Billy. He tried to help by nonchalantly like taking off his like like uniform be like long day. Long day. Wasn't it everyone? I'm doing his shirt. Oh man. So you still get out because it is a seven to nine but I think you see somebody in another service corridor another custodian like whispering to somebody that has like a truncheon at their side that must be security. Is it like security? No.

It's just like council hall security. It's a dwarf with a club at their side and they're like what is this? And they start kind of following you. We run faster I guess. We start whistling faster and faster. Yeah. We whistle faster and start like scooting fast. That kind of half run where you're trying to pretend not to run but you're running. Yeah. Turkey walk speed walk. Yeah. Yeah.

Thing was twirling his keys trying to act really casual but he's spinning them like Billy's holding onto the cart just like check. Can't walk this fast. No. Oh no. Miming legs above the ground. So I think it's kind of so the failure and the seven to nine are sort of a cascading alert. So it's like the security guard follows you and you start hustling and the security guard starts hustling and it's like what is going on?

And then you get out the door and you start hustling down an alleyway and the guard goes right to a light guard and like points shit and the light guard turns and looks and starts following you fucking run. Yeah. Right bolt bolt bolt. Oh, I have a fucking I have one more hold. Oh, am I able to apply any of these to like all of us? It depends on what you're asking vanish from sight. Nope.

That's just Billy create a convincing illusion in my mind would be like the three of you running in a different direction. Yeah, I think that was the other thing I was gonna ask. Okay, cool. Then yes, that is possible. I would like to do that. Okay. I mean you're using a hold so I'm just gonna let it happen. Okay like you're all running away and Billy's like whoop and it looks. Looks like our shadows run down. Yeah.

Yeah totally you start running down the alleyway Billy's illusion goes down an alley behind the council hall and the light guard follows after it and we court we sort of the camera rises up above the streets of the deep ward. We see the three of you disappear into the shadows in an alley. We see a goat stomping the shit out of a guy in the front of the building. Oh no we see a very angry custodian stomping his feet and twirling his truncheon like an old-timey cop.

And we guys named Vance run down. All right, the other one five five groups of criminals burst out of five different five. Sorry four groups of criminals burst out of four different doors all at the same time all with guards following them all fall running to light guards and all disappearing down alleys as the light guard follows them and we see the credits start to roll on this episode of Vance's five see you next time people for Vance's six. And this one Julia Roberts comes back.

We'll see you next week everybody. I've been your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz so long playing Ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers. Take care and playing fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica tie. Good night. Thanks to Aaron read for our incredible intro and outro music and thank you to all of our amazing supporters the world over for following us online at Spout Lore most places including patreon.com by everybody.

See you next time and so ends the adventures three who tried the best they can dumb and scared and lost maybe for times abreast in and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution and we will not return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

It's gonna be really strong. Uh-oh. Jessica, what are you about to drink? Nothing. Is that coffee? Don't drink it if it's- Are you Pirelling right now? No! Jessica, no! I have to stay awake somehow. Your eyes are very open. Gonna have an anxiety attack. Yes! Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Thing is half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends. And listen close, for the tale's about to start. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara, and joining me, as always, playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello. Playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hi! Playing Fat Billy the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes, they'd pulled the heist of the century. No! Breaking into a government office. The stakes have become so low on our bench. I know.

Literally, the finale of season six was halting the release of an ancient moon goddess at the hands of an evil wizard. And now we're like, bureaucratic is being done. And it worked, for the most part. You kind of oceans elevened your way through this government office. We weren't even the only ones oceaning and leavening. Yeah. Yeah. Several other crimes taking place at the same time. Thirteen through twenty still. Yeah. Some wild shit's happening in McCall right now.

In total, in terms of crews, there were around eleven to thirteen people in the building. Some could say eight, depending on sort of when it was happening, but it was between eight to eleven and thirteen. I wonder if they were all trying to get to the codex. Maybe. And he just like saw sequential people. Wait, what the hell is this? I like to think it's a regular thing. People break in to talk to him because they don't want to wait. And he's cool with it just because he likes talking to people.

Yeah. Yeah. If you try to talk to Onyx, he'd be like, get the fuck out of here. Don't make me come over there. It will take eight weeks. Yeah. So you broke in, you talk to Granite, the dwarven codex, who has an encyclopedic memory of the last two hundred years. Finding out that the disused well that you were looking for. Was covered up on the corner of Ibis Street and Tourmaline Crescent, which is a intersection deep in the heart of the territory of a group called the Jackals.

Granite said, you've probably heard of the Jackals since you've been here. They're just like, we thought they were a band. Yeah. I thought they were a bunch of dogs. It's a bunch of dogs that roam the street. Yeah. Yeah. You saw them at night. You're like, oh, there they are. There's the Jackals. Oh, yeah. But you just saw a Jackal. There he is. He's going to get the other one. It was. Get out of here. It was. It was. It was a Chihuahua with the name tag Jackal. Yeah. Jacqueline. Jacqueline.

Oh, my God. There they are. Billy can barely read. It's okay. A little better. I know J's. I've seen a J. That must be them. Ja. Watch out, Kevin. That's a wily boy. That's a girl. Oh, no, Billy. It's a Jack. It's a dog. Kevin. Yeah. So you found out that the intersection that you need to investigate. Is in the heart of the territory of a gang called the Jackals. And you escaped by the skinnier pants. I don't wear pants. So. Also, pants don't have skin. I skinned my butt. Get out of there.

By my chapped ass. We escaped. And that is where we find our heroes now. What do we say? You just make it back to your apartment. Well, I feel like we could just go straight to the flagstone. You're just going to go. You're not going to worry about the fact that you've been up all night. You're just going to go right for it. No, I think we need to go to Octo Perel at least. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And also, I should have a shower. I'm still covered in goat shit.

Yeah. Please. Yes. And thank you. Yeah. Maybe we need to go sleep for a few hours. I think we have to sleep because Billy was woken up at, you know, by Perel earlier that day. Yeah. He was like, oh, here we go. Ving is being driven insane by goat mites. Oh, yeah. Right. You need to shower too. Ving got goat mites. I need a bath. We have to give Ving a vinegar bath. I need a vinegar bath. Yeah. Yeah. Let's stop at a pharmacy and get some goat mite solution. Yeah. Yeah. It's good.

There's a grocery store that's underground in a big pit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Whole Foods. Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck. God damn it. Yeah. Pretty good. Yeah. Pretty good when I do it. Not when Sean does it. There's a deep ward grocery store called Whole Foods. Oh, I hate it. Oh, it's so expensive, but they do have the natural stuff you like. It's true. And it's actually, it's unusual because unlike many places in the deep ward, it is like open air all the way up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's stairs that you can go climb just right to the surface. They call it the Guggenheim of grocery stores. So, yeah, you just hit up Whole Foods, grab some vinegar. Oh, and I see some nice waffles for sale. Really miss getting these for free. Are we not stealing anymore from grocery stores? I mean, I guess you can, but it sounds like you guys are just shopping. I think we're just shopping. Just getting groceries. Are we not stealing anymore from grocery stores?

It's what Tonga's saying while we're standing in line with a camera. Are we not stealing anymore? I guess that's what I ask every time we go to a grocery. Because I'm just confused. We get up to the cashier and you're like, all right, Billy's going to trick this kid. We're going to come up with some lies. Billy just puts three coins on the counter. You're like, what the fuck? Are we not stealing? Why are we not stealing from grocery stores anymore? Well, because we just need to get the stuff.

But it's what we did on the road. Yeah, but it was different. That's road life, man. Yeah, now we have a home. We're McAleese now. Fine. Tuck takes a bunch of chocolate bars out of his backpack and throws them on the belt. The belt? There's a teenage dwarf with a crank. It's an elf. It's not an elf. It's a dwarf. It's actually a dwarf. Like, hey, I'm getting paid. Basically, it's a living. Crank, crank, crank, crank, crank. I don't think McCall has a lot of enchanted places. Oh, yeah.

I don't think there are elves over here. It's more of a principalities thing. Yeah. Maybe Grimsby's here. Or maybe Grimsby's been to McCall. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so you just go grocery shopping, get some fresh juice, then you head home. Yeah. Covered in shit. And actually, when you get up top, it's all nightlife stuff. Because you guys were working the night shift. Billy King found you. Right. It's probably about three in the morning. Yeah. Yeah, so stuff's starting to open up.

The stuff, it opens up really, really early. But for the most part, it's all lit by the neon glow of sandworm lighting. So we're on Cliffside. You're in the Cliffside neighborhood, yeah. Yeah. Right, because you guys live in Stepside. We live on the border of Cliffside and Stepside. It's up for debate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whole Foods is definitely in Stepside. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's a campaign right now to move Stepside down or back. Yeah.

Yeah, people petition, be like, I don't want to live in Cliffside. I live at Stepside. Actually, yeah. So I guess you go from Stepside to Cliffside. So it's like beautiful gas lanterns, torches, bonfires, and you transition into the neon glow of the sandworm lighting. We should probably let the listeners know. I don't know that they know about the sandworm lighting. Right. Yeah. Okay. So something that we kind of established like a year and a half ago. Yeah. During season three. Wow.

Season three. Okay. So a long time ago. So one of the things that we found is that sandworms exist outside McCall as sort of these huge docile desert whales almost. Yeah. In the Alcoholy Desert. Yeah. And one of the byproducts of their existence, because I think they filter sand for food. Mm-hmm. And the thing that they shit out basically is that sand turned into… Mm-hmm.

Into a apparently kinetically activated phosphorescent crystalline substance that is then worked into functionally neon signage. Yeah. And then is also used by poor people as a light source. Yeah. Neon lights are kind of like a low class light source in McCall. Yeah. Some of the rich kids are known to buy them and use them in their bedroom though to seem edgy. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. And the really edgy kids will have like a worked neon sign that says live nudes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nude.

And there's some restaurants like street food places that are open. There are other places that are opening up next to places that have been open all night. Baklava. Mm-hmm. Can I have one? I mean, you would eat your wapple and see how you feel. Yeah. I already did. Where's your… Oh my God. Oh Jesus. He's kidding waffles. Okay. Yeah. We'll get, we'll buy you a baklava. Yes. Yes. Yes. Hi. Hi. It's me again. Hi. Hi. Hi. Just the usual, please.

The teenage McCollin girl, like just it goes and grabs like a box of baklava. No, no, no, no, no. Just one. Just one. Billy. No. It's we're going to bed. It's a bedtime baklava. It's the usual. Yeah. But for the morning. We have plenty of baklava at home. Sorry, kid. I got to listen to your parents. Just one. Here you go. Puts it in a little paper bag. Hands it off. Coin. Takes the coin. Thank you for your business. Keep walking down the street. Fine. Thank you. Thank you.

Jessica has her arms crossed and she's glowering. And I talked to Billy. I'm like, hey, you can't eat this baklava with your arms crossed. Fine. And you can't eat it without saying thank you. I did say thank you. And no one likes baklava when they're frowning. Thank you. Smallest little smile. Yeah. Begrudgingly smiles. I give it to him. Yeah. So you make it back to your apartment. It's all the lights are out, of course. Like this. We turn them all on. Oh, yeah. Cash is sleeping.

What are your lamps like? Oh, yeah. It's neon. Oh, you know what? I bet it is. I bet how you turn them on is you hit it and it like starts to light up. So the light switch is basically like a little lever with a stick on it that goes bong and hits it. And then it like lights up in the room. Oh, yeah. So it's like kinetically activated phosphorescence. And it stays lit for like a good long while. But you have to go and like bong it every once in a while. Yeah. Yeah. Get reactivated.

That's why it's for poor people because you got to keep doing it every like 30 minutes. Sometimes people think that shit's getting really romantic. You know, I just need to go bong the lights. No, no, no. No, no, no. I didn't mean that. No, no, no. I wasn't trying to make a move. I swear. I got to turn my lights back on. So you turn on all the lights and you guys just start doing the thing that shitty roommates do where you are working at full volume. Oh, yeah. The second you come home.

Ving instantly starts doing the dishes. Oh, no. I'm pouring Ving a bath and like loading it with vinegar. Thank you. No problem. And Tuck sits on the couch and relaxes. Covered in shit. Oh, no. So you start coming home. Ving is like moving dishes around. And Cash comes. He's bursting out of his room. Good morning. Look who's up bright and early. What the fuck is going on? It is. I can't even see a clock. It is so early. The sun isn't up. Where were you all?

Hey, we don't have to tell you a thing. You're our roommate, not our mom. He rolls his eyes. Two. Tuck. Yeah. Two. Billy. Ving has. He has fleas. And we're being proactive and like giving him a flea bath so that we don't get all furniture. Yeah. Ving has fleas. Actually, technically, they're mites. Mites. Yeah. What have you touched? And he's like, he comes out. He's in his like boxers, basically. And he's just stumbling around the room. Like, what did you touch? Did you sit on the couch?

He's like moving. Tuck off the couch. Get out of here. Move. Oh, don't touch him. Oh, what the fuck? He's looking at his hands. What the fuck is this? Oh, sorry. I crawled through goat shit to get away from an old bully. And he looks at the couch and he sees all the goat shit on the couch. He's just like, oh, my God. God of the flame. Burn me to ash where I stand. Where'd you get this robe? Ving. I'm going to go to my room. I want to go to my room. You want to wake up?

I don't want to see any of you. And he goes into his room and he slams the door. God. And you hear a crash. Oh, no. Uh-oh. I think we really messed it up. Man, what bit that guy's ass. Yeah. Ving, get in the tub. Even you're grossing me out. He's probably mad that his parents aren't as rich as they tell everyone they are. And I say that loud. Really loud. And there's silence from Cash's room for a moment. And then there's continued silence because he gets into bed.

And then continued silence for the next four to five hours. Yeah. So that's the situation. Okay. Yeah. We scrub Ving down. I also light a huge thing of Desert Sage and start smudging myself. Yeah. You guys just have the most disruptive hour where it's bathing Ving. And then bathing Tuck. Yeah. And then Tuck takes his huge post-work shit that he always takes. But he's got the door open so that he can have a conversation with Ving and Billy while they're in the living room. The living room.

The living room. Yeah. And he's leaning because you can't see totally. Like the toilet is like across from the door. So he's like leaning way over so he could see into the living room. But he can also see into Cash's room. Yeah. When the door's open. Yeah. It's rarely open. I'm using one of the big guest towels to clean up the shit off the couch because I feel really bad. I'm doing my best. You're just cleaning it with a dry towel. Well. It's like you're kind of smearing it in.

I'm also using my saliva. Like I spit on it. Oh, okay. Cool. I don't lick it. Okay. Yeah. I'm not dumb. Yeah. Perfect. I like the idea that. Not gross. Not dumb like Fatim. Yeah. Back to Fatim. And he's just like pushing the goat. What'd you say? What was that? He's fighting the goat on the steps. You fucking look at him. He's got it in a headlock. Of the council building. Yeah. You see? Who said I wasn't as strong as this goat? Who said I wasn't as strong as this goat? As things seem.

Is this happening? Oh, shit. I owe that goat an apology. I forgot about the eyes of the tiger on the goat. So yeah, he's just getting. He's in a headlock. You see massive thighs. I see a noogie happening. Yeah. Oh, wow. What a night. So yeah. Anyway, I'm sitting on the toilet leaning over talking to Billy in the bathroom and being like, hey, do you think we're inappropriately close with one another now? First of all, wipe your ass, buddy. I will. I'm just not done shitting. Okay. So sensitive.

I do the mid shit flush. Oh, nice. You mean just then there's more shit to come? Yeah, it's still going. Wow. I'm making eye contact with you. It's happening right now, isn't it? Yeah, it is. A hundred percent. It's crazy because you don't eat that much. I know, but it's all bergam fruit. Usually when I'm on shift, we get free bergam fruit. Okay. I understand. There's no such thing as free bergam fruit. You always pay for it. Yeah. You know, they say is you don't own bergam fruit.

You just rent it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You only think about this jackal group. No, I thought it was the dog, but apparently not. Can I use legends of guitar heroes? No. Okay. They're not heroes, but I could say that's a good spelt Lord. Okay. Spelt Lord about the jackal. See if I knew everything about them. Wowzers. Five plus intelligence is five. Yeah, baby. All right. Another point of experience over here.

The jackals kind of cropped up after you left. So you just don't know anything. Frick. Yeah. And how bad that failure is. Maybe we'll invest some time. Investigate in a little bit. Let's just go spy a little bit. Let's see what they're doing. What do you think, Bill? Let's go spy? I thought we should talk to Perel first to let him know that we found out some stuff. Right, yeah. We should tell him tomorrow morning. You guys wanna grab some sleepers? Yeah. Yo, let's get some shut-eye first.

Jessica is now in a yawn spiral. Yeah, so what does your guys' room look like? It's a triple bunk. Hammock, hammock, hammock. Yeah, three hammocks. As they go up. What kind of stuff's in your room? All of our adventuring stuff. Right, yeah. But Tuck has just thrown all his shit in a pile. He doesn't present it. So he's got a pile that's his pile and it's gauntlet, the billhook, the crystal billhook. The billhook, yeah. The knife that he has with him all the time. That I have a name for.

I have a name for that knife. What is it? The waning knife. Oh, sick name. Yeah. Because I said that there was moon designs on the sheath and I think it is a waning moon. Oh, sick. Like it looks like a crescent moon unless you know more about the moon and then you're like, the way this is shaded makes it look like it was full. The shadow is on the right. Yeah, the shadow's on the right, not the left. So it's a waning moon. So it's called the waning knife. And we, you don't really know anything.

Oh, actually no, we were going to say that Perel told you this. That the knife isn't made out of a normal metal. Oh, yeah. He would know. Yeah. So I think this is, that is something that came up. In the last four months is he told you the waning knife is made out of a thing called moon steel that they say is a type of ore that fell to the earth after the destruction of the moon that formed the coronet. Oh, wow. Cool. Yeah. It's exceedingly rare and extremely valuable. Chimes, let me keep this.

He said, if you lose it, you're going to regret it. So that's why Tuck always has it in his backpack. Because he's afraid of chimes. Yeah. You should be. Every time he takes it out of his backpack, his balls recede. Into his man. I miss chimes already. Yeah. I was going to say that you should because I remember you remember how he hit that mermaid that jumped out of the water. Yeah, I just punched her in the face. Yeah. You know how he moves and it sounds like a ship.

Yeah, I think when he punches he hits like a cannonball. Oh, sick. Yeah. Fuck. So cool. So cool. I love boats. I love the sea. I can't wait to do some flashbacks to our time with chimes. Yeah. I wonder what you guys got up to. Yeah, because it was a month long journey. Yeah. To get to McCall at least. Yeah. Anyway, Tuck's like shit from his adventures is all in a pile. And I think Billy is the loot in that pile too or is it in your own zone? The loot's in the pile. Some of it.

I put like the big bag of coins in the closet just because not because I thought. Yeah. I was like, I don't care, but I know they care. There's banks in McCall. I should say you could have a bank account. I just scrummage around for a coin. Yeah, there's just a big ball. But like when rents do, I'm like, okay, like they make me go practice my counting. I'm like one two one two two. And I'm like, I have to do this so many times.

And I bet like because I feel like Tuck doesn't bring Larry Terry and Chad to work. I bet they sleep in the hammock meant for Billy. Maybe that's the only thing he's hung up and he hung it in view of a window so that they could, look out. That's really nice. That's really sweet. So that he because he's like, I can't carry this around because the light guard knows this acts. So I'm just going to leave it here. Cool.

So yeah, all your weapons and armor and stuff in here because you don't just walk around strapped all the time. Yeah, cash came in one time and was like, what the fuck? And we're like, yeah, don't touch our stuff. I bet I came in one day while you were all away like he was cleaning. Yeah, he just opened the door and closed it. It right away. It's like raising. It's like Jumanji in a room. It's a bird flaps across the bird did fly. A bird got in the room. I said, good morning. Cracker, bro.

Yeah, man, because cash probably doesn't even have a sword like he's not that kind of guy. He doesn't need one. He's a clerk. He lives in a city. He's lived in a city his whole life. Probably never fought in his entire life. No, absolutely not. Even as a kid. He never got in an army fights. Yeah, and it shows his dad gave him a crossbow for his 12th birthday that he has in the closet just for self-defense. Yeah, purely for some home home protection. Yeah, they're worried about poor people.

There's a stand your ground law in McCall ever since the torture McCall took over. Wow, that sucks thing building like pot the carry shelving unit out of wood that he found around old crates and stuff. So he has all the stuff jars and stuff. Yeah, he has like a weekly group of people. He goes to he goes to an alchemy group because he has all these jars of like mystery liquid. So we're going to like a book club, but I'll give me club. Yeah, so y'all go to sleep.

You wake up with the sun or do you know I wake up when cash comes in to get his lunch. Oh, you're in the fridge, right? Always in the fridge. Billy has a hammock, but he sleeps in the fridge right morning cash and he closes the door. No wait, he closed the door. He's walking away. You're not from the inside. Yeah, you forgot your lunch. And he had cash leaves. He's really pissed at you guys. Dang it. Dang it.

And so yeah, like does everybody sleep less than they usually do or do people oversleep? Well, I think tuck rolls out of bed usually around noon. Okay, things usually up bright and early. Okay, so being when you're up puttering around you see out the front window that faces the street that you guys are on. What's the name of the street that your apartments on? Oh, uh, Abu Dib Abu Dib Road. Yeah. Yeah, cool. It means fat dad. Wow. Wow, that daddy man.

I was like, is that a road that you've like lived on or been to? Nope. No, it just means fat dad. Sick fat dad. Wow. Abudib Road. I thought that Abdul speaking English opened us up to a lot of issues. Abdul speaking a different language opens us up to even more Abu Dib Road was my least favorite Beatles album. The Beatles are a band that only Ving can hear. They're all just little Beatles. Oh my God. Oh my God.

So I think you see out the front window onto Abu Dib Road and you know, it's like there's the walkway that connects all the upper units in this apartment building and you see across the street the cafe that's under the studio apartment that Perel lives in. You see Perel at an outside table like having a late breakfast. What's he eating? Just like, can I suggest? Yeah.

Uh, like in Egypt, I think you can always get basically anywhere and it's so cheap is like for a single Egyptian pound you can get 10, falafel sandwiches or 10 like smashed fava bean sandwiches. 10 sandwiches? Yeah, it's fucking dirt cheap and it's so good. I love it. It will give you diarrhea, but it's great. Why do you eat 10 whole sandwiches? Because sometimes you're sad and you want to walk out to the ocean and eat 10 sandwiches on your own. Okay.

So he's not eating 10 sandwiches because he doesn't eat that much, but he's got like two and like a cup of coffee. What a waste. He bags them up for later. It's basically the same price. He's, yeah, actually he's broke and he lives in the studio apartment. He's probably buying 10 sandwiches and putting them in a bag. Yeah. And eating two and drinking the coffee that he bought. He put some of them in his fanny pack. He's got, it's a satchel. It's a hip satchel. Jesus Christ.

And actually I think, yeah, I think uh, Perel, having never been to McCall before, hadn't had coffee. Oh. And now he's had coffee for the first time. He's like, this shit fucking rules. For an hour or two in the morning. Yeah. He drinks coffee all the time. He shits himself silly because it's the fava bean sandwiches and the coffee. And he's just like, you know what? Worth it. And he, and Ving's like, you're wondering why you're not putting on mass. Shitting out all your protein every day.

Uh, yeah. So you see Perel across the street having breakfast. Good morning. Hey, old neighbor. He signals, he waves at you to come down. Yeah, I do. I do acrobats from like, uh, what's it called? Parkour. You do parkour down the building? I do parkour and like, um, gymnast you know, over signs and awnings because there's all these little ends of wood sticking out of these adobe things. Yeah. If you were to do parkour, it would have taken you less time to just go in a straight line to the cafe.

Oh, he does. It takes 15 minutes. Use the stair. Nevermind. And he lands back on his own roof. Oh, okay. He just walks down the stairs. He goes down the stairs. And then over. You have steps right outside your door that go right down to the street. I think there's like a balcony at this point of neighborhood ladies and dudes like all watching just being like, whoa. Wow. Oh, right. Cause he, cause Ving's like Bruce Lee shredded now. Yeah. Uh, yeah.

There's a smattering of applause as you land back on your roof. He's very embarrassed. But also he can't help but show off. And he's just sitting at a table at this cafe like, hey, how'd it go last night? How'd it go? It went great. We got a lot of really good information. Tell me everything. What do you know about the jackals? Um, I think I've heard of them. What have you heard? Criminals. Yeah? Go on. Extortionists. Some say hired killers. Well, at least they're not doing it for free.

They've gotten into white root recently or something. Not fun people. Why? Why do you ask? Well, we found out where the there might be an entrance into the well that runs underneath the library. Really? But apparently it's right dab in the middle of Jackal County. Oh, I wish I was a wizard still. Were you ever a wizard though? If I had my power, I could walk into that neighborhood and turn them all to goo. To frogs. Is what you could have done. Yeah, I could have turned them into frogs too.

Yeah. Frogs are made of goo. Frogs are made of goo. Everything's made of goo. Everything is made of goo. We're all made of goo. I just break… The thing doesn't jerk off. He's in motion with his hands. Not wrong. That's how you make goo as well. That's right. That's how I make goo. He eats one of the sandwiches. He pulls one out of his fanny pack and puts it on the plate. I got more. I could do this all day. What a weird thing to be cocky about. He doesn't have much of his life right now.

He's got a part-time job. He eats sandwiches. Can we cut to what he was doing last night when we were fucking risking our lives? Yeah, he's dead asleep. He's asleep on the futon in his studio apartment. Wearing some of his fun hats. Yeah, he's got the black feathered d'Artagnan hat that he wore in Crystal Bay just over his face. And he's sleeping and he's got a music bottle popped that's playing very quietly. It's got a coaster over the top so the lid's half covered. So it's coming out quieter.

Yeah, he likes The girl from Ipanema. Yeah. He likes the smooth listening hits. I guess we cut back to the conversation. Yeah, so what's what are we going to do? We're just going to walk in. There's a flagstone over. We need to find out where it is. I have a plan. Where are the others? Do we need them right now? Cut to Billy. Cut to Tuck. All right. Ruby. Lucky. You're both here. Allison. All three? Oh, the gentleman's triple, huh? The women of Spout Lore.

He says the name of the show in his sleep somehow. Spout Lore girls gone wild. Spout Lore girls gone wild. Spout Lore girls gone wild. I can't wait to see some fan art where people draw three and also me. All right. Cut back to the conversation. We need to figure out what the jackals will put up with. How are we going to get in there? We need to infiltrate the jackals. Or at least we have to stay off their radar. All right. Or we get so on their radar that we're off their radar.

Oh, I see what you're saying. We infiltrate the gang itself. I'm hearing, disguises, Ving. That might be unnecessary. We need disguises. I don't think that's what I'm saying. I have to change my face as a painter changes his canvas. I'll consult my kit. Hats are gonna solve this. I'll consult my collection. I wish you never started drinking coffee. I don't know how I survived before. He's one of those guys. Don't talk to me before I've had my coffee.

I cook with coffee and sometimes I put it in the fruit. Forget love. I'd rather fall in coffee. So we're going to infiltrate the gang. Is that what you're saying? Infiltrate their territory or trying to ingratiate their territory, right? Ingratiate ourselves or just sneak in? Yeah, I think we have to ingratiate ourselves to their territory and stay off their radar. Okay, I'm getting mixed messages. So we're ingratiating ourselves to their territory to stay off their radar. Oh, is that coffee?

If you want something, it's got a whole carafe. We need to get into that well. Okay, I feel like we're back at square one now. Cut to Billy and Tuck. Tuck is woken up and he sees he's Oh, it's like around noon too. He's having a late breakfast. Yeah, yeah. Oh, so I was already woken up because Tuck went in the fridge to get a bunch of eggs. Yeah. Four dozen eggs. Four dozen eggs for breakfast every morning to help me get lunch. Yeah. And honestly, you know what?

Tuck seeing Fatim, he's going to have six dozen eggs because he's like, he's bigger than he was for sure. And I need to put mass on if I'm going to withstand the beating that he's going to give me. Totally. And Billy's sitting on the table while Tuck's eating his scrambled eggs. Billy's like shoveling some in his mouth too from his plate. He's going egg for egg with Tuck. Oh, wow. No, I eat the equivalent of one egg. Surprisingly, that's all I want. Yeah. Little bits in his mouth.

And I'm like, Billy, I got, I… That guy's roughly the size of a barge. Yeah. I don't know how I'm going to beat up a boat. Well, I guess you just have to get bigger. So you go for it. You go hard on these eggs. I'm going to go hard on these eggs. And then you know what? I saw Ving doing some fucking parkour moves. I'm going to try some of those right after. Oh, sick. I'll go get Cas's protein powder. Yes. Go get that protein powder. I'm going. He doesn't use it really. Not really.

He uses it for a week. Yeah. He just puts it out when he has a date home. Yeah. There's a bunch of free weights in the corner of his room. Yeah. And then I go get the container, the jar of protein powder and go to the bathroom because that's the only sink I can reach, which is the tub. And I like swirl water in there and I bring it back. Here, chug this. I drink it straight. It's still mostly powder. Oh my God. And I do that cinnamon cough. Yeah, cough.

When people do the cinnamon challenge where it's just like white powder. I feel stronger already. Oh my God. Do I look bigger? I think he probably had a dream about Fadum last night that really freaked him out. Yeah. Fadum came into, he infiltrated your like three women dream. Yeah. And he stole them. Come with me ladies. No, no, come back. Come back. I was the one that did all the stuff that you like. Sorry, Tacoma Dome. He's a successful warrior and look at him. He's fucking huge now.

And then it cuts back to Tuck and he's like a little baby, but his head is still the size of Tuck's head. He's got a little baby body. The beard still. Yeah, the beard goes down to the floor basically. This is a wild nightmare that he's having. Yeah. And he, it's that thing he shoots up in the middle of the night like I was a little baby. I never want to be a baby again. It was hard enough the first time. And he goes straight to the kitchen to steady the eggs. Start bulking.

And that brings us to now. And we're at the breakfast. Well, Tuck tries to parkour out the window. And what happened? He steps on one of the like the wooden posts that Vig stepped on and it immediately breaks and he falls to the ground. He just falls 20 feet. Yeah, hits the ground. To the street. Wow. Wait, should I do a damage roll? Well, no, I mean you're impervious now, so you're extra tough. Yeah. So yeah, you just slam onto the street.

And I look up at the balconies of people who watched Vig. And they're all going no, no. No. No, boo, boo. No. No. Not enough eggs. Bring back Vig. Vig and Perel are just talking in circles. All we need to do is get into the well. There's a flag on top. Hear me out. There's a flag on top? We have to be in… There's a flagstone. You're not paying attention. This is really good coffee. It's incredible. Why would there be a flag in the middle of an intersection? I don't know.

The rock guy told us about it. Oh, it's a flag rock. Right. Of course you said that. No, the man was a rock. So we have to infiltrate the gang. Hey guys. Oh, hi. Hey, Billy. Hey. Hey. I just took the stairs. I was sweaty. Do you have anything to drink? Yeah, here. Coffee. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Water. That's fine. Okay. He flags down somebody and gets Billy a water. What are you guys talking about? Vig updated me on the situation.

The well is in the middle of an intersection in Jackal territory. And here's what I'm thinking. Hear me out. Disguises. I mean, I honestly don't see a reason why we don't just walk up to the flagstone. I don't know why. Yeah. And break into it. Yeah. I have an axe that can break any stone. And I… No one's gonna punch me. Hmm. I've seen you get punched though, Billy. No. Okay. All right. Well, okay. I'm gonna go… This sounds good. We'll just walk in. We'll just walk in.

Perel, if you want, you could dress like a city worker. I'll be right back. And he runs up to his apartment. I also go upstairs to get the axe, but I put a canvas bag over the… It to make it like less conspicuous. Yeah. And I tighten it up and I put it on my back. Nice. Cool. Axe disguise. What does everybody… Yeah. What does everybody grab when you're going to this neighborhood? Oh. I have a short sword, so I'll grab that. Oh, and I have a slingshot, so I'll grab that too. Sick. Cool.

Does Ving grab anything? Yeah. He grabs his… He always brings a jar of gunpowder wherever he wants. Oh. And him and his group have been really like… That's been what they're concentrating on is making more gunpowder. Oh. Whoa. And he grabs his… His harpoon. The harpoon. Yeah. Cool. And Perel comes back down and he's wearing an orange reflective vest. No, I don't know what a city worker in McCall looks like. I think they wear sand colored clothes. So just like tunic. Yeah.

It's a tunic, but it's just sand colored. Yeah. So he doesn't have any of that. So he comes down wearing his regular clothes and a fake mustache. So you're dressed like a city worker? I mean, as close as I can get, I don't have a city worker's uniform. Wow. You just went all out on that mustache collection. Sure did. Look, I actually… I'm also wearing false eyebrows. What's a city worker's name? Mort. Hmm. Yeah. My name… And I have a voice too. Well, let's hear it. My name's Mort. Oh. Cool.

My name… It's like a… I actually have a big tongue. Ew. Wow. My name's Mort. Okay. Good? Good or bad? I don't know. It's a speech impediment. Maybe I'll just come along. I'm gonna keep the mustache, but… Keep the regular voice? Yeah, this is my voice. You should lose the eyebrows, though. Maybe you guys should do most of the talking. Yeah. Let's review our characters. I'm Tuck. I'm Ving. And you? I'm Fabbilly. Okay. Cool. Wow. Let's go.

And it's pretty easy to find your way to Cliffside because you can see the lighthouse from anywhere in McCall. So you basically just walk in the direction of the lighthouse. Cool. I don't imagine anything happens on the way. You pass some light guard here and there. Thankfully, the three of you aren't super out of place in McCall because it's quite a cosmopolitan place with a lot of different people. But eventually you get to the area of Cliffside, which is the sticks, basically.

Like, you're basically in the sticks now. There are fewer light guard around. There's a lot more people. But you mostly see them moving around inside homes. Like, you see them through windows and corners and alleys. And you see some real hard-looking youths. Like, mean-looking people. They all are wearing these maroon-colored leather jerkins. Leather? Ugh. So sweaty. Yeah. With no sleeves on. So it's just like hard leather vests, basically.

And they all have these really, like, wicked looking knives on their belts. You could put two and two together. These are probably jackals. Okay. Yeah. And they're really eyeing you up as you start walking around. Nobody stops you because it's not like a checkpoint. But they watch you walk in. Oh, it's sunrise. Well, the sun has risen. Oh. So it's time for Billy to make a roll. With my… Fairy child. With my charisma. Okay. Please. That is a five. Plus your charisma. Seven. So three. So three.

Cool. And that's for the, like, until the next sunrise. So if this session ends up being three days, then that's all you're getting. Okay. Uh, okay. Yeah, so Perel is getting nervous. There certainly are a lot of angry-looking youths here. Just keep walking. Okay. If you don't look scared, they're not gonna approach you. And don't look at them. Don't stare at them. I'm looking at one right now. Stop staring. I'm looking at one right now. Look away. Look at… Just look at your feet.

He's looking at me. Look over here. Look over here. Look over here. That was terrifying. Can we head towards the intersection? Yeah, totally. You're, like, following street signs, basically. You get close to Tourmaline Crescent and, uh, Ibis Street, and you turn one block before that intersection would be, and there's a wooden barricade across the street. What the hell is this? Fuck. And there's a bunch of jackals just hanging about. Oh. Should we turn around?

And you hear somebody yell out, Hey. Hey, yourself. What's going on? What's with all the barricades? We were, uh, hoping to get down to, uh, the, you know, the street that you're blocking off. Tourmaline. That ain't gonna happen, friend. Turn around. Why? What's up? This is jackal territory. Now turn around, or you're gonna leave with more holes than you showed up with. Hey, my hole's got a lot of work. So… I wouldn't mind a couple more.

And they're just, like, they're just, like, the kid that's talking to you just glares. Kid? Oh, yeah, this kid, he's a teenager, probably. Alright, kid, what's your name? I'm not telling you my fucking name. Are you from this neighborhood? What do you think? Yes. You get the idea that he, like, based on, uh, like, because you're from fucking McCall. And I'm from the sticks. You're from the sticks? I grew up in the sticks. Oh. Because I was an urchin.

Yeah, but you never established that until just this second. Oh, yeah, I grew up in the sticks. Yeah, so you can tell based on his accent that he definitely grew up in this neighborhood. And I'm like, do you know Mr. Tarek, the corner store owner? Mr. Tarek, yeah. Yeah? What if I do? Free candies on Fridays? Uh-huh. Yeah? He leaves them out back? Left them out back. What happened to him? What do you think happened to him? He was old. He retired? He retired. He retired. Okay. Okay, he retired.

Okay, well, that, I was worried that he had died. His kid runs the store now. Okay, yeah. And his kid pays tribute to the jackals. Okay. I all I'm saying is like, look, I'm from here. We came from the same place. I've been gone for a while. Okay, I'm from here too, and I'm telling you to get out. I'm not leaving. This is my home. You hear that, boys? He doesn't want to leave. And they start, like, sauntering out like fucking Tybalt in the opening scene of Romeo and Juliet. Yeah.

Or Ben Volie or whatever. Like, he's just staggering out. And some people start filling in behind him. How many are there? Roll a d6. Nice. So there's three. Okay. And they start wandering out and they are, like, pulling out their knives. They're being very showy about how tough they are. Ugh. You guys are a bunch of ding-a-lings, aren't you? What did you call us? I said you're a bunch of ding-a-lings. And I'm gonna shoot first. You're just gonna shoot him with your slingshot?

Yeah, I'm gonna try to hit him with a rock in the, right here between his eyes. Oh my god. You're gonna try and kill him? No, just- Do you want to hit him between the eyes or do you want to hit him in the back of his throat while he's monologuing at you? That'd be pretty funny. Yeah, I'm gonna try that. Who's this little ding-a-lick? A nine. Yeah, I can aid- How? Maybe I'm amping the kid up where I'm like, hey, you can't tell me where to go. This is my fucking home.

And I'm, like, really distracting him. And getting him to monologue more? Yeah. Holy shit. Oh, wow. Plus what? Bond? Oh, 11. Yeah. Fuck yeah. So Billy gets a 10 on his Wally. I have a clear shot and I deal my damage, which is a D8. Yeah. Please be huge. Boom! Oh, fuck. What is it? It's a 2. It's a 2. Whatever. It's a 2. That's fine. It's just a rock in the back of his throat. He can choke on it. It's simply a rock in the back of his throat fired from what is functionally a gun.

So he's talking, yeah, this is jackal territory. And if you want to get into jackal-tory, you gotta pay the and he just falls backwards choking. Yeah. And he's, like, coughing, like, and I'm like, what did he say? What did he say? I think your friend swallowed a fly. I think it was a poisonous one. I've seen them before. Perhaps he'll die. You gotta put a spider in there to get the fly. I really, I really… The thing runs up, starts doing CPR. Go get help, you idiots! He swallowed a poison fly!

They're gonna try and fight you now. Oh, no. They got their knives out and they start trying to figure out who to rush first. I'm gonna do fight with honor, which is my starting move. Oh, yeah. So we get to roll, and when I enter a fight, roll plus constitution, and ten plus hold three chi, ving chi, and seven to nine hold two. Spend a chi during the fight to achieve one of the following effects. So roll plus your constitution. Ooh, six. Is a failure.

So he's like, I will fight with honor, you little pieces of shit. And then he starts, yeah, he's basically gonna roll up on a fight with two kids. Yeah. So that's not really honorable. Billy, do you wanna help? Yeah. So what's Billy do to aid Ving? Can I shoot another shot? Yeah. Two d6 plus bond. Nine. Okay. They start moving forward and Billy's doing the like, wang, wang, like trying to keep him back. So you get two chi, and uh, one of them runs at Ving, and the other's running at Perel. Oh!

And everyone's leaving Tuck alone. Uh-huh. You feel, honestly, he feels kinda lonely now. But yeah, Ving, one's rushing right at you, swinging his knife all crazy. I will deal my damage to a foe within reach. You spend a chi and you deal your damage. Five. Five. Okay, you put this kid in the fucking dirt. Oh, shit! Like he runs at you. I use all of his momentum running at me. Oh yeah. Sweep him off the side. Trip him up and he lands right on his face. And hold onto him. He's out cold. Boom.

What kind of style do you use for this? Yeah, what animal are you emulating? Uh, moth. What? Yeah. Okay, can you explain please? Uh, well because he's coming into really uh, hot and heavy. And uh, Ving does this like crazy, unpredictable thing so the kid is like, what? He loses sight of it. He's like, where am I? I don't know where to stab. And then he puts him down like a moth to the flame. You really need to work on your animal style names. Oh man, that was so lame.

It was like cool, but it was also, it was just skirting the line to not cool. And he said, lights out! Wow. Ving is just trying not to turn into the animal so hard. That was moth form. Tell people about it. That was dusty fist. Moth or fucker. And uh, yeah, like one's running at Perel and Perel's like, huh, huh, huh. Perel turns around and starts to run away. Tug just kicks the kid. Like he just kicks him in the hip basically. Yeah. Hulk style? Yeah. 2d6 plus strength for hack and slash?

Oh, balls. Uh oh. So I rolled a four and my strength is two. Oh man. So six? These are literally children. Can I help you? Yeah. 2d6 plus bond, same thing, like shooting rocks at him. Same thing. Shooting rocks, mostly for fun. Billy's having a blast. Yeah. Ten. Wow. Billy's support is like making this fight possible. Look how hard I love. Yeah. Okay, so you get a seven, you get a seven. Which means that you deal your damage and he deals his damage. Yeah. Four.

Yeah, again, you like nail this kid in the hip. And he stumbles back. And he just goes, ow! And he throws his knife at you. Uh huh. Roll a d6. Four. Fuck. Four. So minus your plus one natural armor. Yeah. It sticks in your like, right in the middle. Oh man, this kid's good. What? But he does like an underhand throw. Yeah. And he gets you right in the chest. Yeah. And he's like, oh. And he's like, wait. And he looks at his hands realizing he doesn't have a knife anymore. I'm like, you know what?

You got me. Kid, kiddo, look at me. He puts his hands up. I'm like, good throw, man. You're talking with a knife in your chest. You're just dadding a kid who stabbed you. But then the choking one spits a rock onto the ground. And he gets up and he looks at the guy that threw his knife and he's like, turn. You threw it. You threw your knife. And he looks at what's happened. He looks at his other friend in the ground. Billy's got another rock like trained on him.

Vang's doing like, fluttering around like an idiot. What's this? This is your worst fucking nightmare, kid. What is Perel doing right now? He's like behind a pillar peeking around. One eyebrow just sliding down his face. Can you come back over here? Yeah, okay. Yeah, I was just surveying the battlefield. Okay, man. It's fine. Everybody did a good job according to the plan I laid out when we showed up. Well done. Billy, good job with the support. Tuck, great defense thing. I love the flips.

Hi, my name's Mort. And I am their leader. No, he's not. Hey, kid, what's your name? Um, Ment? Yeah, my name's Ment. Alright, well, I'm basically like a smaller version of you guys. Okay. What are you, six? No, I'm way older than that. And you just lost a fight with us. So, you guys should be, like, stoked to let us in your crew. Alright, look, okay. What do you want? We just wanna fucking go into this neighborhood. I'm gonna be straight with you. Okay. I really can't let that happen. Why?

It's my only job is to watch this wall and not let anybody pass. You might notice there's not even a door in the wall. If you guys go through here and I just let you go, bad stuff's gonna happen to me. Somebody roll a, uh, something to convince him. Billy. 2d6 plus, uh, charisma. We're gonna call it a defy danger charisma, unless you're offering him something. Ten. Okay. Yeah. Uh, okay, what I Fucking sick. Yeah.

He, and he looks around, cause he, they did just get their asses whooped by you guys. Okay. Um, and he looks at the three of you. He looks at Tuck and goes, no. Looks at Vang and goes, no. Looks at Billy and goes, definitely not. And he looks at Perel and goes, I'm gonna need you to punch me in the face. Perel's like, what? Me? Yeah. I'm gonna need you to punch me in the face really hard. Hit me in the nose. I just don't want them to think that I let you through. Okay? Does that sound fair?

Yeah. Yeah. If anybody asks, tell them you absolutely beat the shit out of us. Turns out, sound good? And turns like, yeah. Hey, can I get my, uh, He's pointing at Tuck's chest. You want your knife back? Yeah. I just pull it out and I toss it at him. It hits the dirt. He doesn't catch it. Just, ooh. Pretty cool. Thanks, man. Pretty cool. You're pretty cool, too. Good arm. Thanks. Okay. You gotta punch, turn an eye in the face, okay? Perel goes, alright.

And he does the, he just does the worst punch imaginable. Here it's, here it's gonna, here's it com, here's it coming. Perel, Perel, Perel, Perel, Perel, Perel, Perel, Perel, Perel, pop. And he pops the kid in the nose, and he goes, and Perel goes, But Ment starts bleeding from the nose. Perfect, perfect. And then he does the same thing to, uh, to turn. And they're both bleeding from the nose, and they go, okay, great.

And then Ment goes, the other guy sits up and he's gonna have a face full of blood and dirt. What I guess. Just stay there, man. Just stay there. And Ment goes like, alright, just don't tell anybody we did this. And he just does a dead fall onto his back. Uh-huh. And goes, ugh. Okay, go. Go, get outta here. Oh, shit. Alright. So yeah, you have clear rain to the wall, basically. We climb the wall. Yeah, so you hop over the wall.

You get lucky in that it looks like this was a fairly quiet corner of the Jackal's territory. Like, these three idiots were here because it's probably one of the most easily protected zones. Uh-huh. So there's just a street with some boarded up buildings on either side of it. And the lighthouse is quite a few blocks ahead of you, but it's towering above you. Wow. Uh, but the corner of Tourmaline Crescent and Ibis Street is basically right in front of you. Is there anybody around?

To certain realities? Do we need to? Uh, yeah, you could do certain realities. That's seven. Oh, thank god. You get one question. Yeah, I guess what should we be on the lookout for? You're looking for like a big flagstone, and what you see on the entire street is individual bricks. What the fuck? It looks like that the flagstone has been since paved over. Fuck. So you're not 100% sure where the well actually is on this corner. Mother fuck. Can I use World Talker? Yeah, I guess you can.

Hell yeah. I was also thinking that like, I could use some of the elemental mastery to find where the water is too. Yeah, cool. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, why don't I just bring up all the water that's right there, and then blow that flagstone straight up in the air. Hell yeah. Oh, plus my wisdom? Uh, actually, no. In your new class, it's Constitution. Oh, great. For the elementalist, it's Constitution. Nine. On a seven to nine, you choose one. The effect you desire comes to pass.

You avoid paying nature's price, and you retain control. Or you retain control. Could we aid it all? Yeah. Yeah. Um. Oh, wait. The axe has Terilary and Chad in it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And they're rock. Fuck. Yeah, there you go. But you're trying to commune with water. I mean, still spirits. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, maybe like. Maybe I'm having a hard time going that deep through all the rock. Yeah. What if you give him the axe and like, he like, holds it to the ground? Yeah.

As like, like a divining rod. Like a conductor, almost. Yeah. Cool, yeah. Cool. So, yeah. So, as a witcher. Yeah. 2d6 plus bond. Eight. Great. Yep, so you get a ten. So, you choose two. The effect you desire comes to pass. You avoid paying nature's price. You retain control. Uh. Here we are again. Yeah. Paying nature's price. Yeah, I'll pay nature's price. Really? You're gonna pay nature's price? Okay. Um. Let's see what it looks like. So, tell me what this looks like.

You, you're basically reaching down into this well, finding the water, and pulling it back up. Yeah. He's putting his fingers down on the ground and, and um, with the divining rod, holding the axe and drawing a circle in the middle of the intersection. And spinning it and using the centrifugal force of the axe and spinning a circle, circle faster and faster. Oh. And pulling up the, the water. Sucking it in huge deep breath. Pulling from his heels up through the top of his head.

So, you have this like, circle. You find with the help of Larry, Terry, and Chad, they're like, no man, like this way, little bit. Okay, no, you got it. You got it. Don't move. You got it. And you draw the circle and you um, you reach down, you feel the connection with the water. And you pull it up. From the depths of this well. And almost like a water knife, it's cutting a circle. Like through the plug. Oh, sick. Fucking rad.

As Ving's standing in the middle of the circle, he's lifting his hands up in the martial arts forms that he's been practicing. So cool. And the water just and then all of a sudden there's a sheet of water surrounding Ving. And it stops. And Ving does his like, hands pressed down thing. And then the plug falls with Ving on it. Ving! Oh! And that's where we're gonna end it for this week. I've been your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdulaziz.

So long. Playing Ving, the Half-elf Druid, Paul Hoppers. Playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Oh, wow. Bye. Thanks to Erin Reid for our intro and outro music. Thanks to all our amazing susporters for susporting us across the world wide web. We'll see you next time everybody. Bye bye now. And so ends the tale of adventures three, who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's a breastplate in revelry.

And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly spell dawn.

Now the round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the large's heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your game master Sean O'Hara, and joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz Hey, what's up? Playing Ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers Excuse him Playing Fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai Hello When last we left our heroes Where was the start and end point there? We had that Avatar ending where Ving… I fell through the… Oh, did some waterbending? Yeah And then fell through a well Ving did waterbending That's pretty sick Sorry M.

Night Shyamalan We're fucking stealing your IP You bitch Does not belong to M. Night Shyamalan The greatest movie of all time Avatar the Airbender by M. Night Shyamalan Avatar the Airbender Is that what it's called? Yeah Avatar the last of the airbenders Colon, Croaching Tiger, Hidden Dragon Colon, I Know What You Did Last Summer Semi-colon, James Cameron's best movie yet By M. Night Shyamalan His name is in the title twice An M. Night Shyamalan joint But where was the starting point?

Breakfast Oh, you escaped from the light guard After breaking into the council hall In the Deep Ward Talked to the codex Then escaped Then went to your apartment Yes Gave Ving a flea bath Yes Mite bath And gave Kaj an aneurysm Yeah And then yeah, you had breakfast And went and hung out with Perel at a cafe Gave him the bad news That the entrance to the well Is in the heart of the Tepel Tower Is in the heart of the territory Of a gang called the Jackals Turned out to not be the heart Turned out to be one of the far ends But still inside You found a street barricaded by three Kids, small children Teenagers Over 18 but still children Over 18?

So 19 Okay Sorry, 18 plus Okay But still too young to be doing this shit And you mopped the floor with them And did a real classic Shoot me in the leg so they don't know that I'm a I'm a leg so they don't know that I let you pass Kind of thing Right Broke in And Ving did some waterbending Pulling water up from the disused well Carving a circle out of the stone above it And triumphantly falling down a well One of my best falling down a well yet Yeah So far Thus far So that is where we find ourselves now Ving, you're plummeting down a well On a perfect circle of stone What do you do?

I'm just gonna punch out the side And force my I'm gonna use my strength Oh, you're gonna stop yourself from falling Yeah Oh, okay, cool, cool, cool, yeah Okay Great Defy danger Strength Strength, yeah Great 2d6 plus strength Uh oh Seven Great So you just throw your hands out to either side And catch yourself on the walls of the well? Yeah Dig my fingers in Dig my toes in What What style are you using?

I'm using starfish style Learned at the sea of graves From the great Pilar I love it Ving Cheese calls the pods starfish style Seeds, hats, arms, legs out, very pointy And then he goes Are you horizontal there?

No, I start vertical and then I go horizontal But it's nice because we can get a measurement of the well It's as wide as Ving is when he does this It's a pretty wide well Yeah, that's thick It's a super wide well Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero down with the axe yeah like smash it into the wall grab a handhold smash it into the wall again totally do ice climbing but while destroying uh municipal works yeah an artifact yeah I can just climb down because it's like like nice rockiness and also I'm making a ton of handholds that's true totally uh just every time he's in just like heads up down there heads up down right rock rock ving's just getting nailed by rock yeah uh perel standing at the edge of the well he's looking down like wringing his hands get on my back should what should I be going should we are we prepared for this okay here you could either stay here in jackal territory and deal with that or you could come with me and get on my back I guess I didn't think we'd be all right we're leaving I guess I didn't think that we'd be going into the well so fast we always go in the well so fast I don't have I didn't bring anything with me why you didn't bring your well hat I feel like we're just rushing into this all right I'm like hey I'm still like just only like three steps down the well what do you want to talk about perel why are you so scared well I mean we're going into a disused well that's been closed for at least 100 years maybe two some of us are already in the well can we speed this up okay all right okay fine okay fine takoma grab me okay I take him and I put him on my back he wraps his arms around your neck wrap your legs around my torso okay he does that your torso is very wide I know I'm in a bulk phase again all right so ving is I guess using strength yep to continue tuck also probably using strength yes billy more dexterous yeah tuck 13 yep um 12 oh shit yes that's six oh no is there any way we can aid you oh yeah yeah yeah okay aid I throw my harpoon up here I'm slipping I'm gonna throw my harpoon up here I'm slipping I'm slipping I'm slipping I'm slipping I'm slipping I'll catch it okay so billy roll 2d6 plus bond set my rope please eight okay great so ving throws his harpoon as he starts to fall yeah I'm slipping I'm slipping I'm slipping and uh it goes up and billy snatches it as it flies in front of him and ving starts falling again the rope snaps hot billy also falls off the wall because he weighs five pounds and then billy gets stuck in the crook of like a rope and he's like oh my god I'm slipping I'm slipping I'm slipping I'm slipping I'm slipping like tuck's body yeah oh hi hey tuck's got so many people out of he's like andre the giant and the princess bride this always happens it always happens it's always with perel you're doing a great job he's like patting your chest thank you so it uh you you descend this uh the tube of this well for a good long amount of time uh descending at least 100 feet tuck takes a deep breath he's like brings back memories I think tuck used to spend time in a lot of sewers but not ones this deep yeah I think he went through a real sewer phase like what would he do in the sewers I don't know it was a lot of make-believe play I'm a rat I'm a rat I it would it started as necessity where he was like he would use it to sort of escape from fathom he would mostly use it to escape from fathom because fathom would always corner him because tuck wasn't fast fathom was fucking really fast for how fat he was and tuck was not fast so he would get cornered down like dead end alleyways and stuff but he did there are greats all over the place fathom was always way bigger yeah too fat yeah so fathom's fat was like really strong fat so it was hard for him to like squish into greats but tuck could squish into greats like nobody's business so it's tuck more flabby yeah nice when he ran there were so many centers of gravity moving all over the place his like just so many rolls slapping yeah I don't know and you come to the base of the well and it opens up on either side into what looks like an ancient sewer pipe that's like eight feet tall with a little trickle of water that's sitting in the base it looks like when ving called to the water in the well he was pulling up water from a few different directions oh cool and at the bottom there's a huge plug of stone that's cracked in several places and it's at this point you all come to the realization the only source of light is about a hundred feet above you what about the axe pitch black except for the axe that magically lights all that it sees and the knife and the knife but tech just wants to leave that it's back okay he's scared of losing it yeah but I will say in the months that you've owned the waning knife that you've at least had possession of the waning knife you've realized that though it looks like it's reflecting the light of the moon it's not a light source okay so we can't use it to light our way no good I mean like but you can look at it in the dark and be like wow you could probably read porn really close up yeah or anything billy yeah anything I just like just based on what I see in your pile I don't have that much that much just looking at the same few porns over and over again I was just looking for my truck book and found your fuck book yeah billy I have the one copy of love and loss that we stole from aquaria and a mud affairs that we stole from the mayor's house well and whose dirty books are those well guys let's get down this filthy sewer moving forward big was gonna fucking throw me under the bus for owning porn it's not porn what is it it's animal mating rituals billy calls it porn yeah I like the fact that billy calls most books porn because he thinks that they're all porn based on the books that he's seen yeah so how are we going to do this oh yeah I guess fucking didoy perilous journey uh so we are going to use the moves from perilous wilds that we've been using so scout ahead and navigate so one per who gonna scout ahead who gonna navigate should I scout ahead with the light yeah and your trap expertness oh yes perfect and ving might be good to navigate since he has a connection to all the water the water that's in there that's yeah totally yeah so uh billy roll 2d6 plus wisdom please oh no what was that what was that it was only a five well shit so on a six plus you mark an xp so do that and just to see what exactly what happens ving go ahead and roll navigate and we'll see plus wisdom plus intelligence for now oh fuck just go ahead and mark it experience it we're doing really well this is great everybody and perel's like I told you we shouldn't rush in the well this is what happens when you rush what did I say what did I say you know what happens when you rush places perel is you save your friend from a fucking dick monster who took over his body across a sea of graves where are we I don't know which way to go where are you're all just bickering in this ancient sewer and you are just walking around being idiots smashing your way through things yeah I guess we're kind of like meandering oh yeah I I made a little willow the wisp but I'm more like playing with it yeah tex trying to catch it I'm like bouncing around like a little balloon yeah can you toss it to me and I'll see if I can bat it out of the air with the axe okay two d six plus dexterity what no absolutely not I got seven nice so what happens uh you succeed I guess what happened at playing with your kid your kid has a treasured memory oh my god what write that down point of experience absolutely not well you cut it into two now we have two lights I feel like I look away for five seconds to find out a rule and you're all rolling dice and failing and succeeding okay so you're walking down the you're walking down the sewer uh-huh for like a ways and you know uh tunnels pop off on either side like it looks like you connected to this old sewer system it stinks pretty bad maybe some of this is still kind of in use and but just that well specifically wasn't and uh you see that the way ahead gets kind of sludgy thing is and billy are like walking through it like stomping through this sewer and you're like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die sludge and it starts really sucking at your boots oh no and then your feet start stinging and you're trying to pull yourselves out of this sludge and the sludge is like wrapping up around your legs oh no I'm starting to pull you this is a normal shit holy shit what is this you don't know but it's like what looked like a big pile of shit sitting in the middle of the sewer starts to rise up in different spots like weird pseudopods of slime start lifting up and billy and ving are being like grabbed by the sewer and you're like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die pile of goo what do you do oh my god uh fuck wait but I'm never caught by surprise oh oh baby yes okay so and made a face see this is this is why I'm glad you remembered this okay so ving is ankle deep in this goo I'm fucked but billy like flips and cartwheels out of this goo once it starts grabbing at him cool moves billy thank you your beer boots do unfortunately stay behind so now you're barefoot in this sewer ving roll a d10 10 oh whoa fuck you take 11 points of damage sure and yeah the pseudopods in this goo are coming up to like lash at you what do you all do oh man those shoes it's so hard to find doll shoes small enough to fit billy okay I'm gonna fight with honor and roll my for my chi holds oh yeah my ving chi holds yeah so 2d6 plus constitution great eight okay so that means that you get two chi all right and one of my cheese I can use to leap over across a physical obstacle or break free from bonds another confinement oh fuck it sick cool wow so what does this look like I uh gather my ving chi what does that look like it's a like a dance have you ever seen the three amigos so he crosses one hand on one shoulder another hand on the other shoulder puts his hands on his hips and then thrusts his crotch forward and goes chi you're describing the first half of the macarena and then the second half is just a humping motion yeah so the end of the macarena it's the beginning of the end of the macarena fuck the middle of the macarena this is ving chi style uh and then he puts his hands up like a monster on one side of his body and then moves them across and then flicks them down and now it's like backstreet boy style in sync backstreet's back all right all right and so how and how do you break free of the grip of this goo he uh hunkers down into it gets down into the floor and then uh launches his self up grasshopper style oh and I have the harpoon so I launch it up into the ceiling oh yeah oh so you're just hanging from the ceiling and I get up into the ceiling and swing down to the side where they can't get me cool and pull like yank on the harpoon so it flies out of the wall right in your hand and you're getting good with that thing thank you and tuck is a little bit turned up a little bit hey it's not that hard tuck respects martial prowess I guess so he's realizing uh yeah so this goo is now reaching up on either side and becoming sort of this tentacly pile of sludge that's moving to either side not really sure what to do yet have I heard of anything like this before you've heard stories but nothing you can specifically remember oh god unless you make a roll 26 plus intelligence uh fine mark a point of experience I wish I could remember things more specifically yeah so you're like wow what the fuck is this thing I don't even know and it snaps out a pseudopod and grabs your axe and starts trying to pull it I pull it away all right and I'm like that's mine uh defy danger strength I guess nine I'm gonna do an aid by looking off a chunk of the floor with my uh spear and throw a big rock at it so you start yanking back on the axe like no this is my axe uh and ving throws a big rock at it we're so good at fighting and it actually it reaches out and grabs the rock what like the pseudopod goes bloop and then like off the axe and snaps out to react and grab the rock that was thrown at it billy oh slingshot oh here we go but you see that you hear like uh like a hit and run sound and then you hear a hit and run sound and then you hear a hit and run sound and a popping and you see the the rock start to dissolve I take my axe and I smash a bunch of shit off the wall to make as many rocks as possible because that distracted it right I mean in terms of that defy danger yes okay it's not like ah that's its weakness rocks well I guess this is what tuck thinks plus strength it's eight nine ten uh so yeah tuck starts smashing apart the side of the tunnel and some rocks fall down and it starts reaching out to the side of the tunnel and it starts reaching out to the side of the tunnel and it starts reaching out to the like make sure the rocks don't crush it but also pulling them into it and it's just dissolving rocks and you see its mass increasing as it absorbs these rocks I want to take all the all the all the all the rocks ving takes all the rocks that's absorbing and elementary mastered and pushes it back okay yeah all right walking it back down the hallway okay 2d6 plus constitution for elemental mastery nine I'll aid throw keep throwing rocks at it yeah here we go wait in it yeah I'm slingshotting yes slingshotting the little rocks this thing hates rocks good plan tuck eight okay nice yeah so you succeeded that makes it a 10 and so you're just pushing the rocks away it's you said it's absorbing the rock so it's full of rock so I'm using that to like move it you're moving this thing down the tunnel with rocks like the the tunnel starts pick like picking up and waving and it's yeah rolling it up rolling thing it's rolling it through the floor it's mixed steam rolling it yeah it's rolling it like play-doh like into this little tube and it's rolling away and it's like a little bit of a mini-money mode that's not the way to go boom yeah and there's a tunnel you find another uh side tunnel as the one that you're in continues forward there's one to your left that continues to the left and what you push it down that way his left side of the tunnel is the one that you're in left or my left the royal left okay we left go right can tuck collapse that tunnel yeah certainly 2d6 plus strike seven okay you collapse the tunnel and tuck is stuck on the other side no no no no I really painted myself in the corner over here so ving does a tai chi push down the tunnel with this goo monster and tuck starts smashing at the top of the tunnel to collapse it slicing through what appears to be some sort of vital water pipe for some sort of system and now ice cold water is pouring into the tunnel oh what do you do I don't know we could just run away yeah okay I'm gonna call this a defy danger wisdom as you start to blindly run through these tunnels to avoid the water that's rising around your ankles can we follow the water who has the most yeah you could follow the water yeah plus one I have plus two yeah oh and I'm the one who knows about water yeah that's an interesting idea yeah follow the water and knows where to go trust in the water water is the way okay wow it's 11 okay holy shit fuck yeah yeah you're just sprinting basically being like I hope this doesn't get really bad and you uh are running blindly for two three minutes and following the trail of water as it moves in greater volume down different pipes and you throw your arms out to either side to stop tuck billy and perel as you come to the edge of this tunnel you're like oh my god I can't believe it's like a huge underground like cistern is this the only way out it appears to be and the volume of water behind you is getting aggressive billy it's like around it's almost to your shoulders basically I'm gonna drown I picked billy up and billy's out of danger yeah I put him on my shoulder oh I got really scared I'm gonna drown oh I'm fine it's ankle deep water yeah for you but billy comes up to your ankle uh yeah so um tuck is basically acting as a break water and it's spreading out on either side oh yeah I should just like wedge myself into the pipe I'm already hunched down a little bit hey you know what this could be a good opportunity for what impervious oh yeah one of tuck's new classes which we do go over in the character creation episode so I can use unbent unbowed unbroken where I just take a hit uh you didn't write down one of those moves dude did you you just wrote down their names huh you just wrote down their names huh you just wrote down the names of the moves I wrote some stuff to remind me of what they do yeah uh-huh can you tell me exactly what that move does to it says unbent unbowed unbroken and then there's a bullet point underneath an empty bullet point does that happen to mean something special to you I think I got distracted while we were writing uh so what unbowed unbent unbroken does when you prepare yourself to endure some hardship without fighting back roll plus constitution oh sick 10 10 on a hit you can either take half damage or you can completely completely ignore one other I'll effect and on a 10 plus you can also defeat expose or frustrate your oppressor with your stubbornness there isn't really an oppressor but basically what that means is the I'll effect is all of you being shoved into this cistern yeah so you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything spot in front of him.

And maybe the frustration to the water is that it's actually creating a nice mist for the people in front of me. Yeah, it's like a cooling mist. Yeah, it's pulling out like toxins out of your skin. You all feel dewy and rejuvenated. It's a nice water. Perel's like rubbing it on his head like, ooh, this is nice. Stop doing that. What? Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that you all live in a condo with a bathroom and a shower. You don't have a bathroom in your studio apartment?

No, I have to go to the cafe downstairs. To what? To shower? Okay, guess what? Haven't been able to shower for a little bit. Oh my God. And guess what? We knew that. You could have just used our bathroom. We all shower there at the same one after the other, not at the same time. Would you all let me use your bathroom? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, that's great then. I'm sorry. I didn't want to intrude. Anyways, where are we?

And so, yeah, you're on the edge of this pipe that empties into some huge underwater cistern. I was thinking of using WorldTalker to talk to the water and communicate with the water and see if this is going into the bottom of the library or if there's a place that the water likes to go out of here and what the system is and just kind of get the goods on the cistern from the water. Yeah, totally. So you just want to talk to the water that's in the cistern, I guess? Yeah. Yeah.

It seems like clean water. Oh, no, it's not. No? Oh, wait. Well, the water from above, the water from that pipe was pretty clean. But the water is sitting in this old cistern. It's like, Hey, what's up, bud? Whoa. How are you doing? Oh, same as I ever was. Just sitting around. How long you been down here? You sound a little stagnant. Been down here for as long as anybody's been down here. I am the result of a thousand baths. I am the child of a thousand flushes. Ew.

As long as water has passed through man, has passed into the earth, I have been here. Ving's like, We don't want to go in this water, guys. Is it the only way, though? Where do you flush to? Everyone flushes to you, oh great water. It all flushes to me. And where do you flush to? Hey, you guys tell me. Where does this go? Because I don't know.

I feel like, because the thing that we do know about this weird entrance is that it's part of an old mine that like this sewer probably adjoins to somehow. So what do we think that is? Should we discern the realities of this cistern? Yeah, you can discern realities. Great. Holy shit. 14. Nice. I guess what should we be on the lookout for? What here is not what it appears to be. And what is about to happen?

So what I'll say is that what here is not what it appears to be makes more sense for where you want to go. Okay. Because the water explains that this is the end point for most of the sewer tunnels in McCall over the last like thousand years. This is a settling pool. Yeah, exactly. And it is very aware of where all the pipes go. And there is a pipe that it describes on the far side of this cistern that burrows deeper into the rock.

But at some point within the last couple centuries, part of that pipe was broken. Broken through smashed out eroded and that empties into a huge space that you can only assume is like this old mine is the library in the mine. No. Well, like basically what you're looking for isn't an actual like door. It's an entrance that the library might not even be aware of or they're like there's no fucking way. Anybody is going to get through that mine because it's such a pain in the ass.

So we're not even going to bother boarding up this old hole. There's a bunch of like librarians like they're like, there's too much shit and piss down there. No one's going to be gross enough to come through. Not unless they're a complete idiot. Some architect comes out and he's like, oh my God, fuck. It's just shit and piss down there. Forget it. Not worth it. It's no one's coming through that. Holy fuck.

And what the water tells you you should be on the lookout for is there is a creature living in this cistern. No. And what is what is about to happen is if you touch that water, it's immediately going to come for you. Okay, we need to get across to that one right there across the cistern. Yeah. So it tells us which one of the openings it is. Yeah, basically being you can see it in your mind's eye. Thank you.

You separate says tool of beautiful wonder and amalgamated beauty from centuries of waste. Thank you so much. I am the history of the city contained within the birth of millions. Now you can continue. You can get across however you want, but there's something under the surface. A compost monster. Can I just just so I understand? Yeah, we went down the the disused like wells pipe like yeah, it's feeding pipe and then that ends at the cistern.

Yeah, which is where all the waste of the city goes and then on the other side of this, there's a tunnel that goes to a shitty pissy mine that on the other side of which is the library. Yeah. Okay, this is a secret entrance to a. Very secure place. It's like so really out of the way where they're not just going to be able to put like police caution tape across the door. That's like don't enter our ancient library, please.

Yeah, so that's the situation and there's something living under the surface of this disgusting shitty piss water came when you get across the cistern without touching the water. The water is a lava. Do you want to use your harpoon? Oh, yeah, always. Yeah. So what's the what's the plan here? Gonna throw the harpoon across and use the rope to shimmy across the gross water.

Yeah, if you tie the rope to my waist, you guys can shimmy across while I hold the water back and then we'll just swing you across. Yeah, it's done. How long is the rope on your harpoon miles? Okay, I yeah, because this is the kind of thing where it's like, well, you could try and find another you could ship try and shimmy across. Oh like edges around climb around could element try and like freeze the water.

You could try and just swim across and book it like or we could can I try can I just climb like that? Yeah, Billy probably could shimmy across. Yeah. Yeah. I'm already doing it. Okay, Billy what? I just that's how I would react to you like just dipping around the corner. Yeah, what I'm already doing it. Tuesday six plus dexterity because it's like a pretty narrow. Yeah, but floor is lava. I'm good at this. Oh fuck. Well, I guess someone's falling in the shitty piss water.

I got five and I fall in immediately tuck goes Billy and I'm like, what and then his just his center of gravity like he loses balance. Yeah, and my shoes. Oh, yeah, Billy's barefoot to not that it matters because he's completely submerged in shitty piss water and this is like as being is like uncoiling his rope and getting ready for throw Alex about 20 feet should be no Billy splash. I'm sorry. Yeah, and Billy like dips under the surface. Oh no. Yeah, I've been okay as he's diving.

He launches the spear in the side of the in the side of the wall and go dives in ties around his waist and I'll take it water. Yeah, defy danger dexterity for that because that's a cool move seven. Okay, so you do that you slam the harpoon into the stone underneath the pipe. You have the rope tied around your waist. You do this all in the air talk. You see this I'm so impressed with things physical. He's like hot.

Yeah, I mean it's like it's a platonic sexual attraction that where you're just like, you know, when you're like you just see like a ripped dude and you're like, wow, what a masterpiece of a human form that is this is so fluid. What is Perel do when he notices Tux boner? It's I don't have a half chub whatever tonic thankfully, it's a little too dark in here the platonic boner.

It's on a calf chub, but yeah, you sploosh right under the surface of the water grab hands grab hands and the seven to nine is what you feel in the vibrations of the water as you touch the surface is you feel something swimming very quickly towards you and you see it through the murk shit in the piss. What is it? You tell me I want to know what you guys think it is. What is it? Oh my God. I was thinking is it's a terrifying gigantic stone crab. It's a stone crab.

Another stone crab starts licking his fingers. Do we want to do stone crab again? No, it would be kind of fucking hilarious stone lobster. It's got the flappy tail to rock lobster rock lobster boy. All right. Yes, it's a rock lobster actually. Let me let me find a creature.

Okay, so you see this thing swimming through the water towards you mostly you see it in your like half kind of spirity sense, but you see two pairs of razor sharp claws and like a head that's chitinous like a shellfish, but with some strangely and unsettlingly human features and then the mouth full of like mandible parts. What the fuck is that called? And it's just booking through the water towards you get the action.

You actually feel vibrations through the water in a couple parts of the system. No tuck. I pull I pull him up because the harpoon is in reach. I reach down and I just yank them both wind it up. Yeah. Yeah. No, I just pull so hard like a beyblade to the plus strength letter rip eight.

Yeah, you pull them out of the water just in time and you see this like spiny chitinous shell like crest the surface of the pool before diving back in and you see you see two other forms press the water and dive back in underneath. Oh gross and things are sick.

There's just that weird like, you know, there's something just under the surface like you can see the water moving as they swim around and they're getting really close to just basically circling in front of this pipe kind of binocular by discerning realities. Yeah, or spelt luring. Yeah, probably Spout Lore makes more sense to get info on this thing. Wait, what is it with intelligence? Six paid and what do you do as the water? What the fuck are those things? Yeah, two to six plus great bond.

Perfect. So seven. So it's interesting but not useful. So what you do know is what they are. They're called chules and they're sort of a half man half shellfish creature. They have really really powerful claws and they're semi intelligent to they have this sort of like like primordial intelligence sense little crabs that got down here and then they ate so much human shit that they got intelligent. Yeah, they're vicious.

I mean, I'm not going to tell you any of their weaknesses, but what you do know is that they're fucking vicious gross. Yeah, what do crabs not like rocks? We'll throw more rocks at them. Can you ingratiate yourself to them? Good try. I was going to say like could I switch objects or you can make an illusion? Oh, yeah, chase. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, work for the light guard. It'll work for the chuds. Yeah. Okay, so for the chuds it actually also might be cool shul. I like chuds.

It's not a chud and yeah, a lot of this like a lot of the specific names and stuff come from Perel being like, oh man, I've heard of these things. Why don't you tell us that? Why do we have to stand here guessing? I don't know. I wanted to see if you would get it. Okay, so I'm going to create a convincing illusion to make it them chase that what's the convincing illusion? Look like it looks like Perel because I'm kind of mad at him for like withholding that info.

Yeah, it's such a dangerous time and I make him look really stupid like he's in his like flippers and like little like bikini thingy and his water wings and he's like Billy didn't why would you bring that up again? I didn't know that we weren't supposed to dress like that at the beach and he just like like goofy in one of those old cartoons about going to the pool. He's like, oh, and he just dives into the water goes up bends and down. Yeah, but starts the illusion.

I guess it's probably swimming fast enough that they can't catch it. Yeah, and deep enough. Yeah, yeah, going all over the place. All right, guys, we got to get across. I don't know how long I can hold it. We could also just swim across if they're distracted. You could try and super poopy. Well, I mean, we're going to have to go through that shit mine. Anyway, Pearl's like, uh, do we have to? Yes. Yes. Pearl, you want your magic back, right? Yes, I do. We're literally only doing this for you.

Yeah, and also because we're bored with our day job. Okay, and then he does a dive very similar to the dive that the illusion Perel did. Okay, so can I swim for everyone? Like if we get on you like a little boat? Yeah, and I like motor. Yeah, so 2d6 plus strength, I guess to swim as fast as you can hard as you can. Oh, God, Lord of Water, please help me. That one has to be rewrote. I don't know. Nine plus strength. Yeah, 11.

Yeah, and Perel's like, wait, and he's trying to catch up to swim like choking on shit water, but you get to the other side. You find it. You see a pipe tuck reaches up, grabs it, yanks himself up Andre the Giant style with all of you on his back, and you're on the other side. Cool. Thank you. Yeah, no problem. Did you guys get shit on you? Oh, yeah. And then Tuck spits out a little nug of something. Oh, I can't be too. Okay. Good job. Not swallowing that bow. Thanks, man. I swallowed others.

So you find yourself on the other side of the cistern. Ving, you follow the directions that you were given by the history of McCall's bowel movements. That's how he self identifies. Oh, yeah. No, this thing has the deepest respect for the information contained within people's butts and urethras. And you come to this. It feels like this pipe that you're in is like it feels almost more ancient than the other pipes that you've been in. Like this has been here for at least a thousand years.

And you come to a section of it that's been smashed through by time, by people, by the elements who's like corrosion. Yeah, it's just collapsed in and you feel as you're walking towards the section, you feel cold air blowing down the tunnel at you. It feels nice. It doesn't smell like shit. Oh, so you come to this opening and you'd have to like hop on a rock, hop on a rock, shimmy across. But you see an old rickety wooden walkway rising up like out of the dark, like the gloom.

The water is trickling down into the base of this mine, but you hear it pattering quite a ways down. Okay. And there's like what looks like an old miners catwalk system. Oh, yeah. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. So it's it smells cool and damp and there's like a faint whiff of shit, but it's far enough away that you're like, okay, finally some fucking respite from waiting through people's diarrhea. I imagine it's like we open up and it's just so deep. It's like Moria. Yeah. Yeah.

You can hear like the ting ting. Hello. Hello. Hello. That's an echo, Billy. And you hear screeching in the distance, the flapping of dark wings. Oh, my God. I mean, there actually probably are. There probably are monsters in this mine. That in mind. Okay. All right. I won't do that again. Yeah. In the far distance, you hear like why is there a wolf down there? Oh, mine wolf. Yeah. Look out. It's an iron wolf. I eat iron. Iron wolf is the name of a band that came through bar last week.

Actually, they said it said that the lead singer is a lycanthrope. Yeah, man. The billeting system fucking sucks. Yeah. He had to stay with you guys in cash. He was not happy. And yeah, so you have this like rickety walkway to make your way through the mine. I guess this is probably going to be one last scout ahead and navigate to get through this thing. Okay. So who is scouting ahead? Who's navigating? Well, it makes the most sense if you scout. Okay. Okay. I'll do that.

And I'm like the most light. Yeah. Two to six plus wisdom. Please. Whoa. Holy shit. Ten. Yeah. Nice. So on a ten with the perilous wild scout ahead, you get to choose to you get the drop on whatever lies ahead. You discern a benefit beneficial aspect of the train, a shortcut shelter or tactical advantage. You make a discovery. You notice a sign of a nearby danger. I want the tactical the second one and the discovery one. Okay. So you find something cool. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

And we'll do navigate now as well, just so we can kind of build it all. We'll navigate. Yeah. So navigate is plus intelligence fail. Oh, no. Is that three? Yeah, I got three. Yeah. So you mark XP. Yeah, sure do. Okay. So let's talk about the cool thing that you find first. Okay. So you are in an ancient mine. So you are stumbling through walking along these old walkways at times when you're walking, they're like kind of swaying as you're stepping across. I tell them like, don't step on that one.

Step over here. Yeah. Hold onto this rope. Exactly. And I think in terms of history because it's so deep. Maybe it's a giant mine. Oh, that's a cool idea. So the walkways are really wide. Yeah. Though old still sturdily constructed. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe there's like a remnant of a giant thing. I'd be fine. Maybe it's a dead giant. Oh, shit. Like do we see it just or at least like a skeleton of a giant. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. Because this is this is like the or a car or whatever have been gone for a long time. Yeah. One of the ridges on the like along the mining wall. There's like a skull a giant skull. Yeah. Magina fell. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Far, far down like the light from Tux axe lights up this this ridge far down from a catwalk. And there is a it's not just a skull. It's a it's more of a skeleton. Okay. Like there's the head, the neck, the chest, both arms.

And then one of the legs is snapped in a place and that bone has fallen away. But there's just this massive like 30 foot tall skeleton. Whoa. But their bones aren't bone. It's onyx is because we said their skin was like black. And I think they're their bones are black as their bones are black. But it's actual like stone. Whoa. So like would it shine like onyx almost? Yeah. The light from the axe is like reflecting off this skeleton. Wow. This midnight black skeleton. Spooky. Yeah.

There's some tools there too. Like you can see like what looks like a metal helmet of some kind like an enormous pick like huge taller than Tuck easy. And it's got like stuff. It looks like it has some possessions that was left with it, but it's kind of out of reach. You'd have to work to get it. I don't want to risk it. Oh, wait. I could switch to switch. Oh, yeah, I think it's going to be like like a crane game. Okay, like you're just going to be like, okay, you take this.

I don't know meat pie that I've had in my bag. It's like my last baklava. It's filled with shit. I'm like, I guess I don't want it anymore. And then Billy looks at us like right. I don't eat this. He's looking at other people for advice. I don't. And then I tell myself no, Billy, you don't want to eat this. And so like, yeah, I'm going to use my fairy child move to switch to objects within view. So I don't know how I do that.

I just like I I drop the baklava and then I like feel like the air the spirit air. Oh, my fairy air. I don't know. It's like air. You guys can't feel but I feel it. It's like like just blowing up at me and then I snatch my hand and in it is one of the canine teeth. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I give it to Perel. Here you go. Whoa. So it's like it's big huge. Yeah, like almost like a saber tooth. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wait, wait. They're descended from orcs. So they have tusks. Oh, so it's even bigger.

Holy shit. Yeah. So it's one of the bottom tusks on an on an orca. Okay. Yeah. Well, I'll catch it. It's really heavy.

He grabs it and he's just cradling it in his hands like I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I it in half it means he loves it the most the wisdom of king solomon or whatever it was as interpreted through yeah we'll share custody yeah I just want to study it yeah you can hang on to it study the essence of a giant oh but you can't shape shift anymore I can study the essence of whatever I want you can keep studying essences but he can't shape shift into a giant oh that's disappointing god damn I can learn a ving chi yeah you can learn to fight like a giant oh giant style boom boom boom boom you just say boom boom boom boom boom v544 I'm gonna kick your bum uh and yeah prel throws it in his bag and it's just like wow this is this was this is incredible in his fanny pack yeah in his hip satchel you know I gave up my baklava for that so I hope you enjoy it I'll get you another one billy cool and as you can see I'm not going to be able to do that because I'm not going to be able to do it you're walking away and prel's just like wow whistling and you feel a rumbling in the walkway under your feet uh and I think tuck probably notices at first uh-huh you feel a rumbling and you hear like a crashing and you look behind you uh-huh and the walkway has started to collapse behind you oh my shit and collapsing is rushing at you like a wave of falling stone and steel and wood oh my god sprint yeah I start running and I sprint sprint I start like picking people up as I go I'm running and you all are like you're just picking people up under your arms I'm sprinting way ahead thing is running ahead and I think that's where we're gonna end it for this week I wanted to roll the file and I don't care my name is Sean O'Hara I've been your game master joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz goodbye everybody playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers oh shit bye and playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie oh no thanks to erin reed for our amazing intro and outro music and thanks to our incredible incredible supporters from the world over you can find us on social media at Spout Lore most places we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like you we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome back to Spoutland!

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz Hello Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers Hey! And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai Hi!

When last we left our heroes, they had descended deep deep into the ancient sewers beneath the eternal flame of the west, Makal And had just been traipsing through ankle deep shit for most of a day Ving communed with the spiritual personification of the history of Makal's bowel movements A giant sluicy shit A giant sluicy shit, who was helpful in pointing you in the direction of what you were looking for And letting us know that the mine was there too Yeah That's very helpful And also letting you know that there were monsters lurking within his shitty pissy depths The Chules!

Three half-man, half-crawdad lobster-looking motherfuckers Yeah Who you were thankfully able to…

Escape from due to Billy's quick thinking with a convincing illusion Thereby bypassing the second of two combat encounters presented to you Within this adventure The first one being a monster that we never figured out what it was, or what it was called And don't wanna know Don't wanna know, I'm not gonna tell you Yeah And we ended with you finding the disused mine itself Which we determined to be of giant make and model Uh It was a classic giant model mine It was a 1972 Hemi giant mine We get down in the mines and we dig classic cars out of the rocks And traveling across some old but sturdily constructed catwalks Finding on a far away ledge the skeleton of what appeared to be an injured and deceased giant miner Billy using his fairy magic Swapped a shitty piece of baklava With a obsidian tusk An onyx tusk Cause their bones are made out of onyx Cause their bones are made of stone Dark black stone Sorry, onyx is a kind of rock, it's not just a Pokemon, right?

Yes, and it's a stone, yeah Okay Uh, so now, uh, Perel in his hip satchel His stylish, yet contemporary hip satchel Contaz It's leopard print Cool Yeah, but it's supposed to be Look like it's made out of leopard skin Stuff in the city is made out of leopard skin This just isn't Yeah, the, that's actually why we got clocked by the jackal kids Cause they were like, look at this dipshit Stupid fanny pack Uh, so yeah, Perel has a giant tusk, which is pretty cool And as you were reveling in the discovery of an ancient skeleton The catwalk behind you began to collapse Oh yeah And you began to escape And that is where we find our heroes now, running for their lives down a collapsing catwalk What do you do?

Shit, shit, cheetah-chee, cheetah-chee Yeah, I'm holding, I'm holding Perel and Billy and running as fast as I can I'm running on all fours, you know how you do that thing like You're pretending to be a chimpanzee Ah, ah, ah It's slower Sure Definitely slower It's a little slower Uh, okay, so what's everybody doing?

Billy's being carried by Tuck Yeah, I'm just in his fist He's like running and I'm just like Like a handball Yeah Yeah, Billy's in one fist and actually Perel is in the other one I've got him by the crotch No, no, no It was the most convenient way to scoop him up Yeah Yeah Okay, so what are you, what is Ving doing?

Yeah, I'm doing cheetah-chee Alright, uh, 2d6 plus, I guess dexterity Dexterity Yeah Eight Alright Thank goodness And I'm just, yeah, running hard Seven Okay, so two partial successes Which to me says that you're going to get to safety but not where you want to be Well, one thing that is like get to safety but not where we want to be is if it starts collapsing from ahead of us too Both sides And we have to like take a different route Yeah, totally, that works for me Like it's collapsing in the direction that you thought that the vibrate might be There's a hanging pipe going by Yeah, we have to jump to the pipe Oh, fuck No, it's like coming down from a wall from somewhere else and then passes under the catwalk where you are It's like three pipes side by side Oh Does that make sense, Jess?

Yeah No No I'm so bad at infrastructure No, it's It's basically part of machinery further in the mine Oh, so like ancient pipes? Exactly Yeah Oh Running across below like the bridge that's collapsing Yeah And a section of the catwalk still like just hanging off the pipes but no supports underneath And now you're all standing on these three pipes suspended, who knows how high in the air Can we describe how we do the jump?

Yeah, please do Yeah So he uses his legs and he bends them and then he like springs up as hard as he can and then aims for the pipes You're describing a jump I didn't realize that I didn't realize that when you did the description that it was just a jump Just a jump When thinking about where I am and where I would like to be without having to step there I coil and tense my muscles before releasing the kinetic energy that I want to release Before releasing the kinetic energy that I've gathered therein Taking my body from one place to the next Wow Cool You're a scientist I want to hear how Ving jumps now Yeah He just closes his eyes and falls forward Oh Trusts in the pipes below Graceful Yeah Clang, land on the pipes Yeah, stomach winded Yeah, so now you're all hanging on a bunch of pipes Not hanging, standing on a bunch of pipes An untold distance above the pipes An untold distance above a terrible fall The pipes continue into the darkness They're holding you They're like doing that Brrm, brrm, brrm Like as you're walking them it's resonating in the pipes And they're kind of shaking a little bit But it doesn't seem like it's gonna fall Should we discern realities?

Yeah, let's do it So Tuck, yeah, looks around the mine Eleven High plus Reality is discerned Wisdom? Wisdom, twelve Three questions from the discerned realities list Uh, what Is the way To The library? I'll give you that one for free It was the way you were going Nooo Well it seems that I have burned a question, my friend No, no, no, no, no, that's fine Um I just realized why this connects to the library Why?

The library was part of the mine Oh, they moved into the mine Yeah, they moved Cause they moved into an old mine section Yeah Right So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So okay okay oh I thought you were just like giving us like a vague answer no no I'm saying I'm saying that it was it's going to be where the pipes lead where is that oh okay say that one more time and I'll do it without jessica cutting you off I'm so sorry no no oh no it's the first half of your state oh no jessica and I have been together for 15 years I'm used to that I'm just bragging I do too I love you I'm sorry I thought I thought you were done and I was like hold on I have pulled that a lot in this game yeah I know this is just fun uh okay so yeah it's going to be wherever these pipes like where the pipes converge so where do we think the pipes would converge I'm thinking like maybe a forge or a refinery okay like why would there be pipes I was thinking that the pipes like carried broken up stone and it would end at like those tracks that have the carts on them oh yeah it's like well I mean like yeah because I think what you're saying is that it's like where the stone that they would mine yeah ends up as I said it was a quartz mine right yeah that's what I said oh it's a quartz mine yeah I said it was a quartz mine so this would so you're saying that it might lead to where all the quartz goes to be tracked out of the mine yeah like kind of crumbled up quartz like kind of goes through the pipes yeah and then it just dumps into carts yeah I my idea was what were you guys saying I was just trying to think about it like what were you guys thinking about it like what were you guys thinking about it like of a cool thing that why they would be mining so many quartz I feel like it would have to do with the light because the quartz was used for oh my god yes are there like bioluminescent quartz or like glowing quartz yeah oh maybe the quartz in mccall glows or maybe like some kind yeah deep stuff maybe that's why the lighthouse still works because it's like if you get like really pure I'm gonna say it's called sunstone sunstone oh sick cool if you get really pure sunstone that's like all one phase like is basically like a perfect crystalline structure it has to be the perfect environment it can hold light forever so they use the most perfect piece of sunstone they had ever found pure brilliance and then the way they cut it yeah can keep reflecting it in infinitely yeah and so and then they put that in the lighthouse and that's why the lighthouse still functions yeah I'll bet cool that's really cool so that's what they were mining it was sunstone yeah not well I think I think that it ended up being you know like mining it ended up being a lot of quartz but they would find sunstone yeah fuck yes yeah and then be like add two more years of quartz totally yeah sunstones are based on a real thing what is it it was a type of quartz crystal supposedly called sunstone that the ancient nords used to um navigate so when it was cloudy and they couldn't tell where the sun was they'd hold up the sunstone and when they pointed it at the sun it would brighten up that would make so much sense because mccall would have been on like I mean like they were a coastal town so they could have traded with like sailors yeah you know it's an ancient port city so like tons of other places would come and like they would sell like the little pieces of sunstone which were still super valuable but then they would have these like you know very rare big ones that like you know people used to the back in the day of really rich people what you could have um glasses made of them first because the sandstorms would come up and so you could navigate through sandstorms oh fucking so that's so cool that's really cool yeah that's why the city's called the eternal flame of the west because the sunstone's still going there's so many different sources of light here that we've already discussed that we haven't found yet yeah I really like that yeah and then when the god of the flame moved in he was like no it's called the eternal flame of the west and then he was like no it's called the eternal flame of the west and then he was like no because of me because of my because of my because of my flames revisionist history exactly because of my flames bro and they could have done that because like the morgani library had been burned down so many times that like original scripts may have been lost long ago yeah and to answer a question that I think paul asked earlier I think that they moved the library into this mine purely for like safety's sake where it was like instead of the light because light is bad for books so they were probably like it needs to be dark as hell and also preferably not burned down for the so they were like a stone complex we'll do that and then we'll build it inside the complex old and forgotten mine uh tight so cool sunstone mine love it the pipes go to uh the central like track system so that's question one what's your second question jesus this was all a discern reality fucking shit we got too excited what should I be on the lookout for again well I'm not sure because I mean like the answer is an easier way to get to the library like maybe there's a way that would be like more beneficial or easier for you to travel what if you know the rock wall is kind of thin in some areas so like we could maybe see if there's a way we could cut through oh so we can get in without having to climb back up or something oh I see get like if it is it possible to get in at a lower level yeah interesting instead of going up to where the opening actually is could I just cut through with my ass yeah and then we could edge our way around yeah what if ving talks to the rocker studies the essence of the rock to find out where it's thinner yeah and to find out where there's like a room on the other side yeah so you get down you find your way down the pipes and down the steps to the central track system there are all these gigantic uh metal carts with wheels on tracks that go off in a million different directions levers and pulleys and gears big old barrels they used to drink their grogs out of yeah huge barrels there's a skeleton half in a barrel with its legs sticking out a giant skeleton yeah I do in the cake stand yeah what does perel do he's like wow look at that and he's wearing a tank the giant's wearing a tank top that says spring break zero zero zero one no there's no there's no giant skeleton down there you saw the one that was available um so you're in this central section and you know like the giants are just giant uh and this floor of the mine spreads out um to steps that basically ring this level and it looks like if you were to look at the construction that basically every time they dug a new level down they moved this contraption oh so sick like they just went so the track section would lower with it and then they'd move the tracks around so they can move things to different parts of the track so they can move things to different parts of the parts of the mind so cool and if you go and heft yourselves up like three levels you find a spot where ving you've got your hand on the stone wall and you can feel that it thins in a certain in a certain section about three steps up yeah and the the rocks when they're this deep they they're interested in things and in this part of the in part of the world because of the dwarf people who turn into rocks so they have conversations with the rocks as well so rocks can be lonely so he's talking to the rock and figuring out which part is lonelier meaning it's deeper and further away from people uh-huh there's a lonelier rock yeah exactly the rock is like oh yeah there's a way over this way yeah it's like grumblier in his throat too he hasn't talked to anybody for a long time oh hey it's it seems like you haven't been chatted at for a while oh oh!

Not for a long time well do you mind if we just poke a little hole through your your sweet little face I would welcome it destroy me what is happening now we've got a mess of kids there's a spirit like of this mind basically like it is the spirit of this entire place and it's thick as rock usually is but it's not like you know eight meters it's like a meter which is like a meter which is like a meter which is like a meter which is like a meter which is like a meter which is like a meter which is like a match for the power of larry terry and chad cool and you can feel through the vibrations in the stone you can feel an open section about four feet from where you're standing axe marks the spot buddy defy dangerous strength here we go and the 10 plus or seven and nine is going to determine whether or not anybody hears I guess oh yeah I but I do talk to terry larry and chad I'm like hey buddies and I'm whispering at them I'm like can you guys try and be a little bit quieter this time yeah bro shh cool you know what quiet means though right uh yeah man yeah no I I'm aware it's um it's like soft let's yeah like mud like break it softly right break it soft okay bro make it sound like soft swing me make it sound like mud okay swing me bro nine nine I'll aid yeah um how maybe billy just chance How many bond you got?

Just one. So it's six. Okay. I did not sing it quiet enough. Quiet, quiet, quiet. Okay. Market point of experience. Yeah. Maybe it's like you pull the ax back. You swing, smash, you swing, smash, you swing, crash. And there's a librarian who you've never seen before sitting at a desk, like moving, like just writing on a piece of parchment. That's like that scene in Indiana Jones when he's like looks at the stamp and every time they hit the wall, he's stamping. It lines up perfectly. Yeah.

Puts the stamp down. And then just a bunch of stones collapse in on one side of this librarian's office and they turn and look at you wide eye. Hey, we're from civil works. And the librarian gets up and starts to move towards the door. Oh, no, you don't. Dash in and grab. Defy danger dexterity for that one. Oh, God. Fuck. Oh, wow. Six. She starts moving towards the door. Ving dashes forward and grabs like one shoulder of her robe and like her arm.

And you feel those like iron cord muscles underneath her skin. She just does that real Kung Fu like wrist block, like moves your arm. And then she's got you in a hold. A little help, guys. Tuck's like, oh, my God, my cup runneth over today. She's using librarian. She can I do shoot first still? Oh, yeah, totally. That's what I'm saying is now like she's got Ving, but she's distracted by Ving. Yeah, I have a big rock in my hand and I'm like, just no. Twelve. Yeah.

So deal your damage, which is a D8. Six. Six. Pretty high. Four. A fairly low level librarian. Yeah, I think you can. I mean, they're very strong. They're very strong. I don't think you're definitely not going to kill her, but I think you're going to really stun her. Yeah, I think I hit her square in just above the temple where you die, but it still hurts a lot. She's going to have a big like welt and she just is knocked out. Yeah.

So she like she gets hit in the head, slams into the door and just crumples on the ground. But she's like, like the fitful breathing of the unconscious. What do you do? I go and I pick her up and I put her back at her desk like weekend at Bernie style and put her pet in her hand. Yeah. And then I, I, I write in front of her. It was all a dream. Can I roll plus charisma to get her to believe that? Sure. No, absolutely not. She's not stupid. She's concussed now, though.

She's going to believe that she wrote down. It was all a dream. While she was asleep. And that makes her memories false. Yeah. Roll it. Whatever. Defy danger. Charisma. Go ahead. Well, failure. So that's a failure. So mark a point of experience and that's going to come back to bite you in the ass. She's like, I don't write my hours backwards. Oh, God. Tuck's writing is like a little kid's lemonade stand sign. He pulls out a crayon from his belt. She's a librarian.

Like she has a master's degree in literature. She knows how to write. This is not my fucking writing. It's all a dream. And as you're in the office, Perel looks at the gaping hole that you smashed in the wall. Like, what are we going to do about this? Do we just leave it? Why don't we just lock the door? Perel's like, oh, yeah. Sorry. I had magic for so long. That's how I want to solve all my problems. Yeah, we could just lock the door.

Is there anything cool in this room that Perel wants to take a look at? Perel is like vibrating with excitement. Yeah. Okay. Put it away, man. I just, I realized I only brought my hip satchel. I don't have enough. I didn't bring any bags or anything. We warned you. We said where we're going and you're supposed to bring a bag. And I said, I didn't think we were just going to jump down the hole right away. But you were like, be right back.

I'm going to go put on my clothes, which I thought meant big backpack. No, I said, be right back. I'm going to get my disguise, which is any points at the mustache on his face. That's no longer there. Oh, I lost my good mustache. Okay. All right. Fine. It's fine. I'm sure there's a bag somewhere that I can steal. And I'm sure there's another fake mustache lying around somewhere here. There must be. That's what I was thinking.

Do they just have books or do they have collections of everything, including hats? Oh my God. I'm joking. I'm joking. But if I find a book on haberdashery, I'm taking it. All right, let's go. Let's go. So we go outside. So there on either side of you, there are other doors and chambers. You're not sure what level of the library. You're in, but the room you're in is cavernous.

In front of you are rows and rows of enormous shelves that stretch from the ground all the way to like 80 feet in the air to the ceiling in this room. And all of the shelves are very sturdily made. They still have carved designs on them, but they all seem to be made of the same very, very dark brown, rich wood. And they're just packed with books. Absolutely packed with books. And a balcony runs along about 40 feet.

And those balconies connect to the shelves in places by what looks like old repurposed mine tracks. Cool. You're lucky because you don't see any librarians right now. Everything and everything's lit with those magic crystals, non flammable light sources. Sick. If anyone wants to Spout Lore about the wood. Yeah, absolutely. And if I Spout Lore on something from the history, then I get to use my wisdom instead of constitution. Nine. Nine. Okay.

So what you know is that this is a wood from the great forest. It is very rare and it's called ironwood. It's extremely durable and it's non flammable. What? Yeah. Cool. That's so sick. Yeah. So at some point the librarians had some sort of trade agreement with the great forest. The elves. Probably. Yeah. And they had this wood shipped over here and they made shelves out of it. Cool. And that's what all of the shelves in this place are made out of.

So you see this and like, this is worth a fucking mint. This is expensive. That's maybe that's how they save the books during the burning is that there's these like shutters that are also made out of ironwood that you can close and it seals the books off. So smart. Like even if the whole building burns down, there's the books in the shelves will stay safe. Right. So there's like fire doors that separate the different sections. So if a fire somehow broke out in one of the rooms. Yeah.

Slam, slam, slam. Or maybe it's. Hey, would it be? Make more sense spatially if it was like each shelf had like a fire door. Oh, yeah. Slides out and slams down. Yeah. A little hidden thing. Yeah. Fire starts and the library turns into a Batmobile. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's really cool. Clang. Maybe there's like a kind of a mechanism inside that you can trip and all of them close. Yeah. Like the clattering. Yeah. Clatters all the way down. So sick.

But since this library is so old and so packed, there are sections where, you know, there hasn't been a fire here. For a while. So we've just got books stacked over here. We've got books shoved in carved out sections of this pillar. So if there was a fire, they'd probably still lose some stuff. But it seems like maybe they're being cautious, but a touch arrogant. And Perel is like running up to the shelves, running his hands over them, looking at all the books like hands on his face. So excited.

What section are we in? I want you to roll a discern realities and that'll determine. I did the last one. I did the last one. Billy, go up. Billy can't read. I can't read. All right. I'll take this one. 26 plus wisdom. Oh, great. I got six. Oh, sure. I'll help. Thanks. Because you guys have been working on reading together. That's true. Fuck. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.

What we did text just off looking off it into the distance yeah um or he's he took out the moon knife the waning knife and he's got he's focused on the door jam up the lock and he's just jammed it in the stabbing it into the wriggling it around in there yeah that's pretty fuck now I don't think anyone's getting out of there so um maybe he's going down to each door and stabbing the lock just to be sure locking ourselves in also you absolutely have closed off your only exit so you're stabbing locks ving and billy are up at the shelves like no no no tuck you take care of the locks we'll we'll read this and then you're all like ah I see another language huh interesting my kryptonite a language I don't understand although you guys have probably we didn't really talk about why you can understand everybody that speaks in mccall I think they speak a lot of common there yeah it's a modern city it's a very metropolis yeah and then I think you're like hey tuck hey we just realized that we can't really read this what does this say and you look at it and it says art theory and history so one you know you are not in the right section of course you're not in the right section you don't know where the right section is and then what you hear is on the far side of the room you hear a door open and two voices conversing hide hide How?

Where? Behind all these doors that you just destroyed the locks on? Ving's going to squirrel Chi up and get into a cart. Squirrel Chi? Hell yeah. Fucking shit. Oh my god. I just like that you're like, oh man, we're all in danger. And Ving, what do we do? And he's jumped up. Ving, hide! How do I hide? We can all hide together. Yeah, I guess so. I'm just going to need you guys to roll like a basically defy danger… Hide. Hide. Dexterity. Eight. Holy shit. I think that you all see…

You see Ving Mario double jump wall style like bing, bing, bing, bing, bing up into a cart. And Billy's like, oh yeah, great. And you run up, like you climb up the shelves really dexterously. And I squeeze myself in on top of the books. Really pancake myself. Just in a shelf? Yeah. They won't see. Think like a book, Billy. What does Tuck do? Well, I pick up Perel and I just… Throw him up into the cart that… I catch him. As big as… He doesn't make any sound. He really tries not to.

But you can see his face. He's like… It's just everything is open. Even his mouth. But he's not making any sound. He knows how important this is. Exactly. What does Tuck do? I guess he just climbs up the shelf to the cart that… Yeah. Yeah. To the cart that Ving went into. It's a pretty tight squeeze. But you're able to like duck yourselves down. You all are holding your breath. Trying not to make any noise. And you hear the two voices. Get louder. Until they pause right underneath you.

And they're picking books off the shelf. In the art history section. Like, no. I think the… I think the artifact that we've recovered. Is actually of the… The early epoch style. And they're like just bickering about a thing that they have. And they don't seem to be leaving. Can we roll to wait? Quietly? Yeah. I don't think we've ever done that. Yeah. You don't have to roll to wait quietly. But I will say that they're going to be here for a good while. We're going to wait. I'm going to wait.

I'm going to wait. Billy falls asleep. Yeah. Billy is the best sleep Billy's had. Because he's not freezing cold. Yeah. It's so cool down here. Yeah. And like… This page is really soft. If we're going to wait. I'm going to commune with whispers of the library. Sick. Ooh. Fucking red. We will find some shit out where we need to go. And who's going to have it. So read communion of whispers for us please. When you spend time in a place. Making note of its resident spirits.

And calling on the spirits of the land. Roll plus wisdom. You'll be granted a vision of significance to you, your allies, and the spirits around you. Ten plus vision will be clear and helpful. Seven to nine. The vision is unclear. Meaning murky. On a miss. The vision is upsetting, frightening, or traumatizing. GM describes it. Take minus one for it if a miss. Great. Okay. Yeah. Roll to D6 plus wisdom. Jim. Describe how you are communing with the whispers. Of the Margani library.

Being of elfin born blood and mind. Cool. A lot of the skeleton of the library is stone and then also ironwood. So he's communing mostly with the ironwood and resonating with that. Tying it in with the great forest. Yeah. Nine. All right. What does a library sound like? What can I help you with? Hello. Great library. Shh. Please. Please. I'm a library. I'm sorry. What are you looking for? We are looking for a section of your great library where you contain the wealth of knowledge of magic.

Oh, okay. So that would… And it just starts spouting off a bunch of very complicated and confusing like librarian technical language. Okay. And what you have determined by this conversation is the organization of the library. So you're saying that the Margani library is super complex and extremely confusing for everybody except the librarians.

And it's the kind of thing I think like name of the wind where throughout the centuries there have been head librarians, master librarians who have had differing philosophies on how the library should be structured. So it's like stacks on stacks, sedimentary layers of like leftover organization structures in one section of the library. Every once in a while, someone's like, we got to tear the whole thing down.

We got to tear it down, reorganize everything, but they never get done before they die. And then it just changes again. Oh, yeah. So what it does tell you is what you're looking for is probably on the third level. Third level. Yes. And if we want to really find out, we need the knowledge of a librarian themselves. Yes. You would have to speak to preferably one of the head archivists. Okay. Sorry. What level are we on? I know I can't talk to the librarian. I'm just wondering.

What level are we on? What level are we on? You are currently on level six of six. Oh, the very bottom. Is six the most bottom one? Six is the most bottom one. Okay. I'm also not talking to the librarian. He is not speaking to me, but I am providing this information freely as a spirit of knowledge. He could be asking. And you hear it push up its spirit glasses out of sight. Adjusted glasses? Oh, I'm not wearing my glasses.

Oh, you know, I thought I was wearing them and I touched them, but it turns out I don't have a face. Thank you. Great library. Oh, it is ever so my pleasure. Enjoy your time at the Margani library. Wait a second. You're not librarians, are you? Shh. I see what you did there. I won't tell. Just don't fuck around. We never do. Okay. Bye. The pages ruffle as the spirit of the Margani library dissipates through the room. Oh, I like that. Cool.

And actually, when that happens, you go, wait, was it in front of me? And then it's gone. Oh, interesting. I like to think that the spirit of the Margani library would act like a library in itself. So it's actually like a singular presence that flits around the library and goes to like shelf to shelf. Oh, it's through the books. Yeah. Okay. So you know that you're three levels below where you need to be. Yeah, we need to get up halfway there. And these two fucking dunces down below.

Well, I mean, they're extremely smart. They are just bickering between one another about what sounds like the very minute details of an artist's life. Oh, man. You know, it says that that her parents died at 17. No, I believe it was 18. Please. You fool. You absolute fool. You moron. Oh, my God. All we can do to not just tell him to shut up. Yeah. Yeah. So it's that it looks like they're settling in for a good long argument. Billy's asleep just out of his arm of arm's reach on a shelf.

And then all of a sudden, you feel the cart under you go click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, and start to move away. Oh, Billy. Chat. Billy's out. Yeah. Billy. So we're moving away. Yeah. You're moving away from Billy. You're moving deeper into the library. Somebody's calling the cart. They're going to find us. Oh, no. Bill goes to sleep. So what do you do? We're trying to scream, whisper back. Billy. Billy, wake up. Billy. Okay. I take a. Are there any books in the cart?

Actually, Perel. So it's so funny that Billy's just snoozing. Perel is like, and he reaches into his hip satchel and he pulls out a little baklava and he just throws it at Billy and he hits just above Billy's head. So like crumbs sprinkle him a dusting of crumbs. Yeah. Drift down to the floor next to these bickering librarians. But Billy, you're startled awake by the smell of honey and dates. Oh. And. You realize that the cart that your family's in is leaving. Billy.

You see them click, click, click, click, click. And I just like wave by like. Yeah. Vang's just waving. Oh, boy. So we've got two different situations. Billy is stuck in a shelf by himself. People down below might know he's there. Yep. And you are being currently pulled towards somebody that will see you. Now we blind them first. What do you do? Let's stick with Billy. You see the cart disappear. You see the cart disappear. Down deeper into the library. Oh, shit. What do you do? Oh, my God.

This is very risky. I could try a scape route. Oh, yeah. When I'm in too deep and need a way out. Name your scape route and roll plus dexterity. Okay. Name your scape route first. Oh, shit. I think I'm just going to have to like crawly crawl my way out. Yeah. You crawl on the tracks like because we're on a track. Yeah, exactly. Great. That sounds like a perfect move. Yeah. Oh, fucking hell. Nine. Perfect. So what is a seven to nine with the scape route? On a seven to nine, you can stay or go.

But if you go, it costs you leave something behind or take something with you. The GM will decide. What would you take with you? A book. Worm. A bookworm. A bookworm. Ew. But it's a little caterpillar. They're called bookworms. They're called bookworms. But they look like caterpillars. Oh, where is he? He's like on your shoulder. And you just feel it like inchworming along. You don't see it yet. Okay. But the camera sees a little bookworm inching along.

So, yeah, you're scurrying along this track. Yeah. As the cart pulls away. Your cart is pulling away. You thankfully see Billy dive out of the shelf onto the track, grab onto it like a squirrel, right himself and start running towards you. We can just get out of the cart and join him on the track. Yeah, potentially. Billy's a little harder to see than a seven foot tall barbarian and his shape-shifting husband. But sorry, formerly shape-shifting husband. I shape-shift up here, man.

And their, I don't know, brother-in-law from a marriage that has since fallen apart with a sibling you don't talk to anymore. That's the vibe that Perel has for me. Totally. Have we gone around the corner already? No, but you're about to reach. Like an intersection. Like one of those, what are they called? Roundhouses. Yep. Kind of things. Like it's going to hit and then spin and then go in the direction. I think it's a good idea to stay as up as we can. Yeah. Since we didn't go up.

What if we jam the cart? I was thinking that too. Yeah. Yeah. But which caused a lot of people to be like, we should probably go check out that broken cart. Which, I don't know. That could be a distraction. Yeah. Yeah. Like the sound of it screeching to a halt. Yeah. Okay. That's a decent enough plan. Yeah. As good as it's going to get probably. Yeah. Uh, somebody roll something. Yeah. I was going to jam my harpoon in there, but also with all these fails, don't want to lose this harpoon.

Trying to think of something else. What about a big fat book? Yeah. Yeah. Like you just grab one. The biggest book I could find. Flip it open. So it's like a wedge and jam it in the tires. Yeah. That sounds good. Yeah. What? Dexterity for speediness. Eight. Okay. So you grab a huge book that says, uh, animals organized alphabetically and he starts reading. Oh, animals. And you just jam it in the wheels and the card in front of you. Well, yeah. Can I keep that one and go get another book? Yeah.

Oh my gosh. Sorry. I want to learn about more animals. You got to do this fast. Book G sticks it. Wedge cheese sticks it into the thing. Book destruction style. Yeah. Uh, and you know, it hits and it looks like, um, when a stack of papers goes into a photocopier, it's just the pages get pulled.

It's just the pages get pulled underneath one after the other and the wheels start going like as the cart is slowing down and screeching on the tracks and you're pulling up to a balcony now we hop off and you are safe as the cart goes through the wall screeching like a fucking bat out of hell. Um, and maybe it catches the book on fire a little bit. Yeah. There's more destruction. It's just smoking now. Uh, and Billy, you make it along the tracks to your family. Hey guys. Sorry. I fell asleep.

That's okay. Books are boring and Perel speaking quietly cause you're in a library. Oh, sorry. So what do we, what do we know? What do we know? What's the next step? We need to get to level three. That's the magic section. What level are we on now? Six. Ooh boy. Is it up or down? Up. Uh, okay. Let's go. What? Where? To find some stairs or something. Okay. How do we run quietly and without being seen? Uh, moving quietly is called sneaking and it is something Billy is a well-versed in. I believe.

Yes. Is there a move that's like sneaky? Defy danger dexterity. Yeah. Not much. Six. If anyone wants to help. Yeah. I'll aid. Thank you. Talk is going to aid with a sneaking thing. Just lift them off the ground a little bit so his feet don't touch. Yeah. I guess cause I'm the biggest, I would be the most likely to make noise. Yeah. So I'm trying to like match Billy's movements. That's how I'm aiding with the sneaky. Billy's crawling like a actual raccoon. Oh yeah. I guess I'm doing that too.

Okay. Nine. Sweet. Cool. So yeah, that's a seven to nine on the defy danger dexterity. All right. Get low to the ground. Everyone. Oh, I crouched down and oh, I mean maybe since it's a library like, but it's built in an old mine. It's not like it's a streamlined construction. So maybe it's like, okay, we've made it to the fifth floor, but we have to get off on the fifth floor and find another way up. Oh yeah. That'd make sense. If it's not. It's just like a clear cut tower. Yeah.

It's like, yeah, totally. It's a bunch of, it's a bunch of rooms that are just strung together. They would file follow the veins of quartz. Yeah. It's cool. That is cool. So it's like an ant hill almost, you know, it's got like tunnel chamber, tunnel chamber, tunnel chamber. Yeah. Very sick. Yeah. All the big chambers are where they found flares. They're called flares of sunstone. Oh, so cool. Cause then they were like, whoa, we got a little bit of sunstone.

We're going to dig this whole area out. Yeah. Can you hear the tendons in my clenching fists? Audience? That's great. Okay. So yeah, you get to the, you find some stairs and you're like, great stairs. And you go up and you find a door that says five in McCall and Tuck goes, that says five. And there's nothing up for. Is it a hand? Yeah. That says five. It's just five fingers carved into the wall. Yeah. This one says five. And then I go for a high five with, thanks man.

But yeah, there's no stairs that go up another level. So Perel's like, ah, I think we got to find our way through the fifth level now. Well, then we do. We do that. I'm going to do trap expert. Oh, good call. Yeah. Just in case. Closed door. Yeah. 11. 11. Great. So you get three hold from trap expert. Yeah. To spend as you see fit. So first question, is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? On this door? No, I don't think there's a trap. Sweet. What else is hidden here?

Well, I imagine you like are up against the wall, like sneaking in to peek into the chamber and you see the bookworm. Oh, crawl out on your shoulder and crawl onto the wall and crawl into a circle like a hole cut in the wall that looks like it was carved for for creatures that size. Oh, shit. Did you see the bug? Yeah. What the heck was that? Can you catch it? I can't. I'll go up to he goes up the hole and starts sucking. Hey, buddy. He's not responding to my kid. He must not be from the forest.

Defy danger. Suck. Suck. Constitution. Okay. I'm going to try to not hyperventilate. I'm going to suck this worm off its body. Yeah. What if he's going to tell on us? The dexterity seven constitution. Oh, okay. Seven. Okay. Thank God. So you you suck. You suck this worm. Yeah. And no, you go. It's like stuck in your throat. I'm trying to say sorry to it. Can Billy reach in Ving's mouth? Get it. Get it. Get it. Defy danger. Dexterity. Dexterous hands. Holy. 14. That's what we got. Box cars on.

Billy is a throat surgeon. Wow. This is what I wasted my role. So funny. His hands are small. It's like about as wide as a throat. So it's like pulling out a piece of spaghetti. Yeah. Sorry. And you're like, and it's this tiny little worm. That's like a caterpillar. It does the inchworm thing. Its head. It's like front section is red. And then the rest of its body is green. What? What do you want? What are you following us for? Oh, man. Billy's just interrogating a worm. Who do you work for?

Yeah. Why did you follow us? Are you evil? Billy can't talk to worms. So that's a really good place to start. Can I talk to this worm? I mean, McCall's not really a foresty place. So I guess you would have similar creatures. I was wondering. If somebody would like to Spout Lore, that's a good place to start. I'll Spout Lore about this worm. Yeah. Because you grew up in McCall where you know the bugs. I got some stuff. Here we go. Holy fuck. Billy's going crazy. Please. Six plus intelligence.

Six. So I need an eight. I will. I will. There we go. Vink seems like somebody that would be able to. There was a worm just like this. I knew from back in the day. They're thought to be extinct, though. So it's weird that we would see it making it a historical thing so I can use my wisdom instead of my intelligence. Oh, sick. Smart. Sean's mad. Paul. Paul. Paul. Oh, five. That's a fail. Oh, man. I wanted to tell you guys about this worm. Can I aid? No, unfortunately not.

Please, I've already asked him. Well, actually, as is the way with narratively based games. Yeah. It doesn't mean that you don't know anything. Oh. It doesn't mean that you don't get what you want. It just means that something else also happens. Okay. So Perel kind of like pushes forward and he looks at the worm that Billy's holding in his hand. He goes, oh, I've heard of these things. Where are they? It's kind of a straight. It's kind of a funny name.

I guess it's a little on the nose, but they're called bookworms. If I'm not mistaken, I think they're kind of magically resonant in some way. What? I have no way of knowing anymore, but I assume that this worm is magically resonant. And what they do is they is they crawl around the library and they let the librarians know when books are out of order. Oh, cool. Somebody comes down and they rearrange the books. That's how they work. Oh, they're like a living Dewey decibels. They're smart.

They transmit information. They bring messages between the different sections of the library. Wait, does that mean that the worm knows that we're here? Hey, worm. Can I try talking to it? You can try, but it's not a fairy. It's a little worm. Dang it. Oh, yeah. I guess Ving can talk to similar creatures. What do you want to say, Billy? I just want to know, will it tell on us? Are you going to talk to people? Do you do? Was you telling us? It is my. Beauty.

And a little piece of silk shoots out of the worm into the hole and it fishing lines itself out of Billy's hand into the hole and disappears from sight. I was going to squish it. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. You little book rat. You're about to get tattled on by a caterpillar. Fuck. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Thanks for joining us for Spout Lore. With me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long.

Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Aw. Thanks to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music, which thrills me every time. And thank you to all of our supporters around the world, which thrill me every time. You can find us on the internet at speltloremostplaces. We'll catch you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three, who tried the best they can.

Though dumb and scared and lost they be, for time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I'd gladly Spout Lore. See you then. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Oh man. Okay. All right. I guess we're ready for Spout Lore. Yeah. That's spelt. Is everybody feeling good? Feeling good? Yeah. Feeling good. Uh huh. Feeling good. Yep. Oh, I need the, I need to get the theme. I'm going to chug some of this coffee. There's gotta be a better way to do this. We're seven seasons in. Then holding your phone up to it. But don't you edit the song into it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I edit the song into it, but there's gotta be a way to just pipe it into our headphones.

Without queuing it up for the most recent episode of the fucking podcast. And then having to pause before Sean starts talking. Yeah. And often you don't. Yeah. I'll get it this time. I believe you. So gather round friends. And listen close. For the tales about to start. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore. What the hell happened there? It went to like two times, two times speed. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara.

Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdulaziz. Hello. Paul, I can't do it. Playing Ving, the half elf droid, Paul Oppers. Good morning. Playing Fabula, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Good morning. When last we left our heroes, they had infiltrated the infamous and legendary Margani library through a disused entrance connected to a giant puddle of shit. Full of shit. Oh, right. In some places. Shit mine. Shit mine.

In Tuck's diary, this, he just, later on, he's like, he writes, I walked through shit mine today. Even though we discovered that the mine was used to, mine quartz and also a light amplifying stone known as a sunstone. They smashed through the wall of the mine into a, The forehead. Office. Of? A young librarian who was just trying to get her work done for the day.

Ving attempted to use his Ving Chi martial arts to stop the librarian from escaping before having those martial arts turned around back on him by this incredibly powerful librarian, which Billy then whipped a rock at. And knocked unconscious. And then you left this library office into the library proper, finding yourself in a sprawling and enormous complex containing millions of books, likely.

Ving spoke to the spirit of the Margani library, who told you that the books that will possibly help Perel solve the mystery of how he lost his magic are on the third level in thaumaturgical history and philosophy. After some shenanigans, you ended up in a cart. Billy was asleep in some bookshelves. The cart started to leave. Billy woke up, tried to escape, brought a little bookworm with him. And you found the bookworm on Billy's shoulder on the fifth level.

And Billy attempted to interrogate it, forgetting, of course, that he cannot speak to caterpillars. And then Ving actually spoke to the caterpillar, which told you all that it was his duty to tattletale. And it zipped into a little pipe. And then you got to the end of the story. And then you got to the end of the story. And then you got to the end of the story. And then you got to the end of the story. And disappeared.

And that is where we find ourselves now, in a doorway on the fifth level of the Margani Library. A little caterpillar has just disappeared. Smash the wall! Yeah, Tug's like, I'll get him. And he, like, starts digging into the fucking hole with his axe. No, it's load-bearing! That's a load-bearing worm tube. It's a lord-bearing worm tube? Oh, we're just going to jump on people for misspeaking now? Just you. Thank you. Okay, so, yeah, all right.

So you're just going to jump on people for misspeaking now? You're just going to smash through the wall? We're going to try and stop this fucking caterpillar from getting away and telling on us! This little snitchy bitchy. All right, let me… So now hold on a second. Let me just make sure that I've got this right. You don't want this caterpillar to tell people that you're here, giving away your location. Yeah. So you're going to… Yeah.

You're going to fastball swing through the pillar that it's in. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah, motherfucker. Uh-huh. All right. Defy danger strength. Yeah. But, like, no matter what, it's going to be loud. I'll tell you that much. Well, Tuck's going to… Like, he's not going to swing his axe at it. He's just going to take his axe and dig into the hole. We've established that when the axe is used to destroy stone, it's loud. I don't know. All right. No, we've established that.

He puts, like, a bag over it to try and make it a little quieter. We make, like, a bunch of white noise or something? Yeah. Let's go. Okay. Make some… Yeah. Oh. Wait. Wait. What is that? What is this? What is this? Season seven. Abdul wrote the wrong die. Why'd you roll a D10 and a D6? It looked like a D6. Like, you have… You had Herculean Appetites, which allows you to roll a D8 and a D10, and you never used that one. I'm making it up as I go.

You can roll them both again, because that was just a totally weird dice roll. That one's a six. Great. And my power is two. Strength is two. My power is two. Yeah. And I… So, I need… An aid. An aid. Well, we're aiding him. What? Oh, fuck. By going, shh. Uh, yeah. Yeah, to cover up the sounds. Okay. I will say that if one of the two of the spiritually slash magically powerful people can figure out a fun way to aid Tuck… In silency? Successfully… Yes. I will allow this to be quiet. Hmm.

Because this aid… This makes sense. If you're able to find a way to make it quiet, then I'll let it be quiet. I was just gonna say he makes, like, an air bubble. I can manipulate the air around it. Oh. Okay. Yeah, it's just to be like… Like, move the air around you. Yeah. It's like a big quiet fart. That's sick. Ving is so cool in this season. All the stuff he does is fucking cool. I think Tuck's cool, too. Yeah. Everyone's cool. Everyone's cool. Okay. I got eight. Plus Bond. Yeah, eight.

Oh, eight. Great. Yeah. Perfect. Okay. So, yeah. You are able to… You still swing it like a sledgehammer. And for all of you, it still goes boom. Boom. Boom. But because of Ving's bubble of silent air… Yeah. His anti-fart zone. Yeah. Which you've all had a lot of problems with in the last couple months because he keeps using it and you're just like, what? I didn't hear any… Oh. When you don't hear anything. Yeah. Now they're all silent but deadly. Great.

So, you're just digging into the wall to stop the… The worm from going away. Yeah. I mean, you succeeded. So… I dig it out. Yeah. You dig it out and you reveal like the little tube that it went in, the tiny little hole that was basically just the circumference of the worm. Mm-hmm. And then it breaks into a bunch of tiny little tubes. And the worm is there. Yeah. You dig it out and it falls onto the ground. I pick it up. And then I go into the main chamber of the library.

I grab a giant book and I put it inside of it and I tie it closed. And I'm like, who loves books now, bookworm? You might have just killed it. No. No. Bookworms live in books. They're called book… Perel's actually like, what are you doing? What did you do? I trapped it in this book. You crushed it in a book. No, I didn't. I just closed it with the worm inside. And then Tuck throws the book as far away as he can so no one can check. So you just whip it into the library? I just… Yeah.

I throw it as far as I can. So he throws it into the shelves and it hits the ground and goes, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat. Fuck, Tuck. Shh. What do you do? Discern realities? Yeah, we need to discern realities. Yeah, sure. Discern realities is great. Billy, you want to take this one? Sure. Five plus wisdom. Is six. All right. I'll help out. Okay. Yes. Yeah. 2D6 plus bond. How are you helping? Get on my shoulders, Bilbo. These are not… I love that it's always give Billy a better look. Yeah. Wow.

What a day. Fuck. Holy God in heaven. Bing rolled a four. So we both… We both failed. Yeah. We could not discern anything. Failed and failed. Damn it. What's the failure this time? Maybe when Bing picks me up, he picks me up by the collar and I drop out of my coat. And I land also with a boing. Loud? Yeah. Sounds like a basketball in an empty gymnasium. Yeah. I'm just imagining. Yeah. I mean, he makes that sound. Yeah. A bit like clap of his ass cheeks. Yeah. Yeah. Echoing clap. Exactly.

So what you see, Billy's looking through the shelves. Yeah. To where it tucked through the book and tucked through it really far because he's incredibly strong. So it's basically on the other side of the room. But you see a librarian, again, kind of young, but like in the… What do librarians wear? I forgot. Oh, isn't it like an over one shoulder? Yes. Kind of robe thing. It's kind of like what people wear in like pilgrimages to Mecca. Cool.

So yeah, there's a young librarian in the white skirt and wrap. Of the librarians. Who walks into frame basically down the aisle and bends down to pick up the book and just picks it up to look at it. They haven't seen you yet, but they're right there. Yeah. What do you do? Billy slides out of their view behind a shelf. Like SpongeBob SquarePants. Yeah. Yeah. Into a shelf. Yeah. Like Billy had landed on… Like he landed on his butt and then fell to the side.

And he literally just like stayed in that position. Just… Okay. Streaks his buns across the marble floor. Screech. Okay, so defy danger dexterity from Billy. What are Tuck, Ving, and Perel doing? Ving is going to jump up as high as he can in the air and try and get into a cart that's above their head. Okay. One of the shelves right up top. All right. So that'll be a defy danger dexterity as well. Billy first. Oh. Sick. I got… 11. Billy breaks physics as he SpongeBob SquarePants out of frame.

Yeah. Okay, Ving, so that's a defy danger dexterity as well. I use the dexterity of my legs. Ha ha! Great. Okay. Eight. Eight, okay. We're all so relieved when Ving passes the thing right now. I can feel the tension. You've had like unreal bad luck lately. I know. Yeah. I'm going to work it in narratively. I have a good idea. We should burn some rosemary in this room. Just get out the bad luck. Smudge. Oh, I have some right here. That's perfect. It's already on fire. Is that what that smell is?

Is that what that burning sensation is? Yeah. Okay. So I think the seven to nine on that is that there isn't like a conveniently placed cart nearby, but you basically like diagonal jump and you're like kind of spider monkeyed on a bookshelf. Spider monkey. Yeah. So you're not as mobile as you would be if you had a cart, but you're out of sight. Perfect. Tuck. Tuck kind of takes his axe and he puts it in a bookshelf to hide it. And then he takes his glasses out of his bag. Backpack.

And then pretends to be a nerd to defy danger charisma. No. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. So I, my mind is cast back a couple years to season one disguises only work. If it's likely that you would be there in the first place, you can't just put on glasses and be like, Hey, I'm, I've worked with you forever. I'm an enormous person. That's not even wearing the right outfit. Yeah. I'm new and I'm huge. They didn't have a robe big enough. All right. Roll 2d6 plus charisma. Well, look at that.

Hold on. Wait. So five, five, seven. Sick. You just joined the ranks of nerd. So boy, oh boy. So the librarian turns and sees tuck with upside down glasses on. He actually, I mean, he actually has to wear glasses. So I guess it's an, Oh wait, does he accidentally accidentally put them on upside down? No, no, no. They're regular. What do they look like? Are they like the hook kind? Are they, are they like Paul's glasses? Like super nerdy? Uh, yeah.

Basically like Paul's round metal flame flames flames flames on the side. He drew flames on the side to be like, God, this has got to make me look cooler than just fucking glasses. It's such a nerd. Yeah. Flames on them for coolness. And then Bing and I were like, yeah, you look super cool. We both give a thumbs up. And so the librarian starts to walk over to you like, Hey, Hey. And like starts hustling up. I'm like, Hey, what's up? Hey, who are you? Oh man. Who, who are any of us?

You know what I mean? He's just taking books from like here and putting them there and there and putting them in, just shuffling books. Just moving books or making a pile in his own arms. That's one of the greatest questions I've ever heard. Okay. But like, who are you and why are you here? Why are we, why? Who knows why any of us are here? Okay. No, I see. I see. I see. I see what I did there. I see what I did there. And, but I just, I can't help but notice that you're not wearing the robes.

I know I'm new. I'm just too big for the robes that you guys had. So they didn't have anything big enough. Okay. Okay. It's also funny to think that there's not enough. They're just sheets. Yeah. There's lengths of cloth. Yeah. And he looks behind you and he sees the dugout chunk in the bookworm tubes. What happened here? And I look, I'm like, Oh fuck. Someone's going to get it. And he looks sharply at you because like you're yelling and you're swearing. And he's just like, what is happening?

I adjust my glasses to extol to him the fact that I am a nerd too. So keep in mind, you didn't get a full success. He, he's extremely suspicious. Okay. And I'm like, fine. Come here. I'm going to, I'm going to tell you what I'm actually doing here. I'm as close to you as I'd like to be. I come in. I have to whisper. I'm as close. It's a library. Fuck. I'm as close to you. It's a fucking library. I'm going to go get somebody. No, no, no.

And he turns around and he sees Perel standing in his regular clothes. Just looking at a book like, Oh, hello. And he just looked, he's wide eyed, staring at the book, the stairs at the, at the librarian and then stairs at tuck, like panicking. He, he has in the time that I was talking to the librarian fashioned a fake mustache out of his own cube hair. No, he did not. He's rolling it like a cigar. This is gotta work. Licking the edges of it to make it firmer. Putting it on.

No, he just moved one of the, the, the one eyebrow that stayed onto his lip. It's got so much sand in it. And shit. And filthy. You're all fucking filth. You're all filthy. Oh man. Whoops. Yeah. You're all disgusting. I completely forgot about that. Well, so did this kid. What does he do? I wanted to drop from the ceiling and just like try and land on him. Silence. Okay. Yeah. A sleep hole. Just like land in a sleep hole. Okay, cool. What would that, cause this seems like it would be an attack.

I could use my, um, a fight with honor. Cause I want to, you know, take him down quietly and honorably. Yeah. I would like to honorably sneak attack this guy. This poor librarian. He's an internship. He's basically an intern. Okay. Yeah. I guess so. Fight with honor. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So a roll plus constitution. Yes. All right. Nine. All right. So you get two chi, I think. Yeah. Can you remind me what chi is? Is it like a hold? Basically? It's a hold. They're holds.

It's hold that you can spend on, uh, a lot of very fight specific stuff. Okay. So what do you, what do you do? I'm just hanging from the shelf. Uh huh. And I, I fall down on his, on his shoulders first and put my hands over his mouth. And then just go, shh, as I slowly walk down off his shoulders and into a sleeper. Shh. It's okay. It's okay. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. It'll be fine. What animal style is this? Uh, sleepy sloth. I was thinking sloth. I was thinking sloth before too.

Cause he was holding, he was holding onto the shelf with just two fingers. And then he slowly descended. And just like, wrapped himself around. First like leg and toes around his mouth first. And then down on his shoulders. Uh, okay. So that's going to be a chi spent to deal your damage. Yeah. We've crossed the distance between yourself and a foe bypassing all obstacles and deal your damage to a foe within reach. Cool. So I'll, yeah, spend them both to. Cool. Take them down quietly. Okay.

Spend them and roll your damage die. Okay. Four. Four. Four. Plenty. Great. Plenty for this little dweeb. Dweeb sleep, sweet, sweet dweeb dreams, sleep, Prince, Prince dweeb. And as he's falling asleep, tuck leans in and goes, it was all a dream. It was all a dream. Oh, this was a dream. And he, you see his eyes open and consider for a moment, whether or not this was all a dream before he passes out. Vink swaddles him up like a little baby in his own robes. Nice and tight.

So he can't, even if he does wake up, he won't be able to move around. And then, Tuck picks him up and shakes him out of the robes, like emptying a bag and then gives the robes to Perel. Cause he's the worst at sneaking. Yeah. Great idea. And he steeples his hands in front of his face, a disguise. Holy shit. And he strips out of his own clothes, wraps the robes around him. For a second, we all scream. And Perel shoves his clothes in a shelf behind a book. Does he keep the fanny pack?

It's underneath the wrap. The skirt wrap. A little punch. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, now I think, I think we're ready to go. We're ready to forge on. Okay. How, we don't know where to go. Can Billy discern realities from where he was? Yeah, sure. Discern realities is great. Oh, hell yeah. What was that? The shit of those realities. Wisdom? Yeah. Oh, it's 12. Yeah. So three questions from the list. What should I be on the lookout for? Okay.

So, I mean, obviously the thing we're all on the lookout for, is a way up to the next level. You look across and you see like how the exits were oriented on the level below you. You look across and you don't see a door. So you're like, okay, well, it's not that way. So the way up to the level is probably to the right or left. Okay. And you peek ahead and you don't see one to the right. So you're like, okay, we got to go left. I go left. Okay. And then what here is useful or valuable to me?

It seems like the way that the librarians wear their robes is they try not to carry too much stuff, but when they do, they form little like tie pouches. Out of the robe that they're wearing. Cool. So the librarian, after being shaken out of his robes, you see a bunch of like keys on a ring. Oh, clatter out onto the ground. Billy grabs that. Yeah. Nice. And what here is not what it appears to be. Yeah. So you notice a draft from the wall basically behind you. Yeah. Like that. What?

Ooh, what, what draft could this be? So I go looking, sniffing. And you find just the most imperceptible crack on the floor where the wall meets the ground. And you scrub all back over to the bookshelf and you go, oh, please, please, please, please. And you start tugging on books. And then you find a book that is labeled secret passages and how to find them. And you pull on it and you hear a click, click, click, click, click.

And then a section of the wall moves in a little bit and slides to the side. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, this way, this way, this way. Yeah. We run over. Yeah. It's a sick, it's big enough for Billy because he is the size of a football big enough for Perel because he can duck down. Ving is very tall. Ving is like almost seven feet, right? I always forget about that. It's going to be pretty hard for tuck to get in there. But it is a very small little, it looks almost like a service corridor.

It's actually, it's, it's metal rungs set into a shaft. Oh, like a ladder. Yeah. I bet this goes straight all the way up and down. Maybe we can get up to level three street or some of us can. Oh yeah. Maybe we have to leave Perel behind cause he's too weak. Why me? Why me? I can climb a ladder. Are you sure though? It's basically walking. It's the way you climb a ladder. What tuck, tuck might not even fit in here. Look at this. Do I have to roll to see if I fit? Uh, yeah.

Nobody else is going to have to except for tuck. Okay. I'm going to say defy danger strength to like force yourself. Dexterity. Dexterity. Yeah. Dexterity. It makes most sense. All right. Trying to give you a hand there, but dexterity it is. Wait, maybe constant. Oh, dexterity. You're trying to manipulate your body in a way that you can get all your joints where they need to be. Cause like if, if Ving and Billy practice yoga and tuck's like, fuck that shit. Yeah.

We cut back to yesterday morning where Ving is leading Billy through some stretching exercises. Yeah. They're like, Hey tuck, you want to join us? He's like, no, I've never needed to be flexible and I'll never need to be flexible. Yeah. Tuck was just like, why would I want to join you? I'm not a lady on her period. Talk. Yes. Some troubling opinions about certain things. Yeah. So it's dexterity for sure. No, but it's cause he's dumb.

Cause he saw a yoga place that had a quote out front about like a woman's greatest power is her and her moon cycle, which is, he's like, that's awesome. There's a sport that's just for women. He walked by a Lamaze class too. It was like, everybody's like, Oh, yoga. Yeah. Cool. He thinks, Pilates, Lamaze, yoga and spin are all the same sport. They're all the same thing. They're all for women. And it's only for when they're on their period.

And he thinks it's a good thing that there's a safe space to worship the moon. He thinks we're doing something inappropriate and offensive. You guys are appropriating. Yeah. Yeah. Female culture. You guys should stop. And then he scoops his hand into cashes, protein powder. And just puts a handful into making his beard like gray all the way down. So Billy Ving and Perel, no problem. Sized for you. Tuck. You're going to have to do some wiggling. Tuck in. Jeez. Dexterity. Oh, yeah.

Well, that makes sense. All right. Yeah. I guess he's not flexible. And also he is in a book phase, right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, Tuck. Okay. Okay. No. And Perel is in there. Like he's like, he's above all of you. Okay. Hey, Tuck. The, I think that the door to the stairs is on the left over there. Okay. I'll, I'll go up those stairs. I'll meet you guys. Yeah. Up on the third level. Yeah. On the third. On the third. So, so Tuck's going to go by himself.

I mean, I have the disguise and I point at my glasses. I'm sure you, you all understand how bad an idea this is. Yeah. I don't know if that's the best idea. Okay. Fine. I look up at Perel. I'm like, Oh, gross. Why do you keep your underwear on? It's for, for accuracy. No. What if they check my underwear? Yeah, but you kept your fanny pack on. It looks so stupid. It's a hip satchel, but thank you. Whatever. Anyway, uh, Perel, I think you're gonna have to go on your own.

We'll meet you up there, but we're going to go with Tuck. That, I think that makes the most sense. If I'm caught on my own, I think I could talk my way through it. But if Tuck is caught by himself, he'll just smash through the side of the library. And we can't afford that. No. Okay. So I'll see you up at the third level. Okay. If one of us can't fit, none of us can fit. Yeah. We're a team. We all have the limitations of the weakest link. Yeah. And right now, I'm the fattest link.

And I'm the shortest link. And I'm the lankiest link. You don't have to sell me on this anymore. I'm fine with this. You gotta go on your own, man. Okay, bye. Leave us behind. He's climbing. It's okay to leave us behind. He's climbing away. And we're all whispering up the tunnel. Just be brave. Be careful. Don't let them see you. But if they do, just don't embarrass us. Remember, we're with you in spirit. He's not even looking. You don't need that mustache. He's absolutely gone.

You're perfect without your mustache. That fanny pack looks dumb. Close the door. Okay. He whispers down to you. Close that door. Fine. Okay. Closing the door. All right, I guess we gotta get out of here. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Should we all steal a book just to remember this place? Yeah. And go get your axe. Oh, right. Don't forget your axe. Tuck runs back. What section do we think you're in right now? Martial arts section. I'll take a book. So the one underneath was art history and something.

Art theory and history. Maybe baking? I mean, it could be like culinary studies. Nutrition and culinary. Yeah. Yeah. Nutrition and culinary studies. And this whole section is like food-based. So it's like agriculture, like, yeah, farming techniques. Foraging. Food, cuisine from around the world. Like all that kind of foraging. Tinctures, herbalism. Tinctures, herbalism. Nothing overtly magical, but a lot of like health and food related stuff here. I just see a nice red tiny book and I grab that.

Yeah. Snatch, throw it in your bag. Ving, what does it say? It says, the food for creatures who don't need to eat. Oh my God. Oh my God. Put that in my pants pocket. Okay. Ving takes a big leathery bound volume. It's like a field guide. Waterproof. Tuck, what's it say? All right. And Tuck like squints at it. And he's reading, because it's Macaulay. He's reading Macaulay. Yeah. And Ving was poorly translating Macaulay. Okay. Yeah. He looks at it and it says, food for thought. Great. Thanks. Yeah.

Write down these books. You're taking it. You want to keep talking about him. Okay. I assume Tuck's not taking a book. No. Tuck takes a book. Oh, I guess this is a, I mean, he can probably easily read common, but more easily read Macaulay. I was in the principalities for years. I can read. Okay. I'm willing to believe that. He pulls one off and he's like, I'm going to grab this one. And he shows it to Ving. And it's a picture of a mushroom on front. That looks like a dick.

And he's like, it's pretty funny. Hey, that is hilarious. Yeah. And he puts that in his bag. All right. So you guys have a food books. Cool. So, okay. We go up the stairs on the left. Come on. No, it's actually not stairs on the left. It's another room. Okay. You have to go into another chamber. That's just as large and complicated as the one that you're in. Oh, okay. Trap expert. Great. Good idea. Two to six plus dexterity. I think. Right. Yeah. Great job. Holy shit. Yay. 10, 10. Okay, great.

So what you get those three holes, the three holds. So is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? There is a trap broadly. Cause we've just, we've determined that traps are broadly things that are a danger to you. Right. There are a bunch of people in here. Oh shit. There's like a gaggle of librarians. There seems to be some sort of lecture going on. Oh, can we listen in a little bit? Uh, yeah, absolutely. Wonderful. What's this section? Oh, this section is astrology and astronomy.

Cool. Really cool. Ages and their mysteries. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those are like the words written on the different shelves that you're passing, like astrology, and astronomy ages in their mysteries. Yeah. Oh, I mean, this is the kind of section where if there was a lecture going on here, it would probably be about the outer dark. Oh, sick. Okay. Let's listen in. So sick. Yeah. Okay.

So you hear what sounds like the voice of a very elderly woman and she's expounding on, I, it's going to be really hard for me to effectively improv lecture about the, the outer dark. What we could do is you could be the lady and we could be like students asking questions. Yeah. That's a really cool idea. Yeah. Okay.

So, um, you obviously you're coming in in the middle of something like you're not getting the full picture of what she was talking about before, but she is talking about the Druids of the world have discovered that as all nature has a reflection on the material plane, that the, the hearts and minds of humanity and the various races and peoples have reflected on the material plane.

And so the Druids of the world have reflections upon the immaterial, which then reflect again upon the material, the hopes, aspirations, concepts of being and of living. They exist outside of us and outside of ourselves and therefore inform the lives of those that live on this planet.

And this is a study that has been undertaken by many over the millennia, but there are a few experts as this realm, this car, this cognitive plane of existence that some have referred to in the past as the outer dark is almost impossible for humanity to perceive in a way that would allow extensive cataloging categorization. So we can only hypothesize, which we have been doing for centuries and has in many ways been the purpose of this library and the librarians which inhabit it.

So you're the, the, the theory is, this is one of the, one of the people listening. State your name, what's up.

Uh borbo borbon borbo borblo yes he's here he's 50 yeah cool 60 years old intellectual now yeah borbon borbo borbon I'm from no no no no borbo borbon borblo hey what's up borbo borbon borblo um new trainee librarian I'm 60 years old I'm starting again my old career was as a dishwasher uh I ran that out for about 40 years and decided to switch things up still pretty buff though I am familiar with you from our past lectures initiate borbo borblo I'm sorry I'm having trouble keeping your name straight me too borbo borbon borblo yes initiate borblo continue anyone that wants any uh more background on me I have a couple of music bottles that have spout more Mall Brats in them it has some information on who I am what I did before this I can't believe we're actually allowing this to be borblo I could also just no I love oh it's kind of funny totally great yeah yeah uh all right so what you're saying is there's the there's us right yes and we're like in this like where we are now where there's like cakes and stuff right the material plane yes yeah cakes are considered part of the material plane and then there's like uh there's a place where like the the druids go where there's like there's like a place where there's like a place where there's like a place where there's like a place animals and shit no cakes some druids go there it said the druids of the principalities in the great forest have transcended into the spiritual realm for a variety of reasons but the magi of mccall strictly do not why not they consider it uh meddling in forces beyond the ken of humanity they see the spiritual realm as a place upon only which gods can walk all right back to my question about cake yes borblo so cake exists here not in the spiritual world no is there cake in the outer dark I suppose there would there could potentially be an icon representing culinary desires the idea of sharing food of creating food for enjoyment and for connection I would I would be very much interested in seeing a demon of cakes she kind of laughs herself a little bit yes uh hi um my name's clover and oh my god they're all here I was so clovers it would make sense 50 50 like 52 yeah yeah um I've been studying the lunar cycles and the outer dark for a long time now and I'm just working on a little essay and I would love your input about you know whether the beings of the outer dark walk amongst us um that's an interesting theory beings is somewhat of a misnomer when it comes to the outer dark the outer dark is inhabited by what some scholars have referred to as icons iconography symbology that represents concepts of humanity and those icons are not strictly people but sort of a interconnected network of thoughts and histories and those thoughts and histories take on a form of their own and those icons influence the materiality of the human being and they're not just a material plane in an attempt to bolster their own existence is the theory by working through humanity so a fraction of an icon inhabits a material form right and would we be able to like you know babe let me take this for you oh borbo it's not necessary we're married yeah yeah I mean I guess it's only an eight year difference yeah when we're 50 it doesn't matter at all wow and we didn't get married like you know super long yeah um babe don't worry about it um are we able to like distinguish when we see these beings you know can we are there is there anything where we can tell them apart from ourselves no and she it takes on an almost conspiratorial tone what I say these words these thoughts these theories cannot pass through the walls of this library of course the margani library and its librarians have come into unfortunate conflict with the light guard of the church of the flame over the last several decades over these hypotheses but it is thought by some myself included that demons represent a reflection of the outer dark in humanity and that over time creatures such as the afrit those icons overtake their hosts transmuting their forms into those that would better do their work on this plane some remain mostly human mostly in their humanoid forms because the icons which they represent do not seek to corrupt and transmute for their purposes whereas some seek to use those vessels as a tool as a weapon so it is said that demons are representatives of the icons of the outer dark whether or not you can perceive the existence of one of these icons inside a human is difficult some forms are quite easy to spot some are near and perceptible amazing uh hi my name is uh uh fenton beasley man his voice finally broke hello I am dr fenton beasley doctor he looks at borbo a little bit and clover yeah I am doctor yeah he said he really leans into the doctor what else does what other uh accreditation I am a uh I am sir dr fenton beasley clover rolls her eyes of the um of the dr fenton beasley academy of culinary design and uh turtle worship sir dr fenton beasley phd dds he's a dentist now oh my god uh is it true that the can you say that you're a dentist yes yes yes As far as you see fit, and as far as we're allowed to talk about here in these hallowed walls, about the Lightguard using the Outer Dark as a sort of prison, capturing people there and keeping them there, creatures that don't exist there.

Is it possible to exist in the Outer Dark if you are not of the Outer Dark? That is a fascinating question, and one that has been expounded on in the past. It is thought by some that if the icons of the Outer Dark represent a reflection of humanity's interests and desires on this planet, that it could potentially be possible, through means unknown to me, to cast a person's own reflection upon the Outer Dark, thereby binding a portion of their self in the cognitive realm.

Well, I've heard this theory as well, but in the circles that I've heard, effectively, the Lightguard is killing them. It is functionally a death sentence, some would theorize, because without the self, the body is nothing. And without the body, the self is nothing. And I have one more follow-up question. Yes. Dr. Beasley, here. You can call me Dr. Beasley. Everyone here can call me Sir Dr. Beasley. We've all known each other, dude, for like 40 years.

Yeah, I don't know why you have to come to every single lecture I go to. And I thought I knew, everyone for 40 years. Did they recently get divorced? He's so bitter and overcompensating with too many letters after his name. I know we're not supposed to speak this word, or of this, especially in such a heavily populated Lightguard territory as this. But what can you tell me of the Darkguard? She sort of like sighs and almost rolls her eyes a little bit.

This is, we are reaching the outside edge of scholarly expertise. We're bordering on copper book fantasy and fiction. But if I'm remembering correctly, the Darkguard supposedly, allegedly represent almost an antithesis to the place of the Lightguard and society in that they are supposedly an organization, or order of demons that seek to work nefariously upon the material plane. Sounds quite like silly hearsay to me.

Well, like the effects of the outer dark, the reflections that we see here on our earth and our planet. What would be the reflections of us in the outer dark? That is an interesting thought. One I am almost reticent to comment on. All right. If I could pick one. If I could be honest with you. That's fine. The reflections of us upon the outer dark sound to me like nothing more than broken fragments, pieces of glass upon the shore of the sea. I thank you for your time. Thank you.

And I would like to ask my fellow librarians and thanking our comrades from the principalities for joining us for today's lecture. And there's a smattering of like, oh, yes, thank you. Thank you very much. As a bunch of the McCollin librarians, like basically nod and bowed at the three visiting initiates. Borbo gets up and he flexes his biceps, which are still pretty big. And he bows. And he's like, you're welcome, McCall. Fenton toots. And the clutches his cane sword. His cane sword still has.

But he walks with it like it's an actual cane now because he's older. Oh, yeah. He's got a little golden turtle on top. Yeah. Clover walks up to the lecture to have like to continue the conversation. Yeah. It's that thing like at the end of a class. Where everybody breaks off and is having their own conversation. Some people are wandering away. And this older woman is speaking to this even older woman. And the three of you see this breaking up on the far side of this chamber.

But people are kind of wandering in your direction. I have two more questions, too. Oh, my God. That was a trap expert. I know. Cool. Wow. I hope that's okay. It was fun. No, that was great. Okay. So you got two more. Hold on that. Okay. What does the trap do when activated? If somebody sees you in this room full of people, jigs up. Fuck. Okay. What else is hidden here?

Now that the three of you have heard this like fragment of a lecture about like demons and their place in the cosmology of creation. I think Tuck being the one that can most easily read McCollin is like, holy shit. That's so fucking cool. And as you move a little bit further down the shelves in the like ages. And their mysteries. You see a text that is one of several volumes. I'm going to say the one that you grab is like volume three, but it's on demonology. Oh, it's like the study of demons.

Sick. Sick. Yeah. I put back the dick mushroom book in the demonology spot. Yeah. And I take that one. Yeah. So it's basically like an encyclopedia. It's like, I don't know. K to N. All right. So what do you do? Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Oh, you know what? There's a, there's a table to the side with like name tags for like the lecture. So we could be. Yeah.

Not everyone attended lecture who bought tickets. Uh huh. Guys. Guys. I've been grabs. The one that says like doctor, uh, miss, mrs. Mrs. But a bumble, but the, uh, mysterious zoologist. He's shut. Put all of his, uh, his, uh, Marino stuff into as like.

Breasts yeah he puts it in he combs his hair like a little straighter puts his lips tuck take this one I take one it says franklin stein and I put it on oh he's a lecturer now no he's he didn't show up yeah he's one of the attendees he's four floors up dancing through the stacks exactly he got distracted because he's a famous dancer somebody was like franklin yeah they're like some people were like oh I wish we would have seen him okay and what's the one that billy grabs billy just grabs one that says uh uh billy grabs one that he thinks is a name tag but it just says potato salad and it because it was from the craft service table it's the same table and it says please sign in I love that we set up this like insular isolated library and then in literally one sentence you all decided nah people just kind of come and go no you have to buy tickets and then you get on a secret bus that goes everywhere everyone's blindfolded everyone's blindfolded everyone's blindfolded with a canvas bag over there yeah a magical canvas bag that erases your memory of the time you're in the bus yeah and then you are literally brought into it drives into the library I think what it is is that clover fenton franklin and now borblow are all scholars they have over the last 40 years somehow been recruited into the library yeah well if you were all waiting with bated breath to find out what happened to the lives oh yeah they all work at a university and then but it's fun because when you because the new cool treat kids all these hot new young actors are their students and those four show up every once in a while as like teachers and guidance counselors that's kind of fun this is a great spin-off yeah spelt more mall rats the next generation okay uh yeah so you grab a bunch of name tags there are people wandering towards you and your plan is you're going to be a kid uh blend in blend in so you know billy helps himself to a fistful of potato salad and he's like what what an amazing uh knowledgeable filled afternoon full of uh questions and uh conclusions and theoretical enhancements you're and you're all just walking through like saying this to each other trying to cover yeah we're trying to get to the stairwell on the other side of the room okay someone uh someone roll uh to fight it your charisma and billy's leading it yeah billy's leading it so it's billy no don't be five plus uh charisma yeah is seven okay great yeah uh okay so just barely yeah you're getting some weird looks mostly because tuck is huge thing uh is also really tall looks from all the fellas oh yeah and billy is like a tiny little kid that's just saying a bunch of nonsense so you're getting some looks but most people are just kind of they're chattering about the lecture they're like wow that was amazing interesting blah blah blah the outer dark demons blah blah blah and you walk towards um what you're hoping praying is the stairwell and as you are just about at the doorway like an old stooped woman with very dark skin and very long gray hair and a long braid steps in front of you and turns to you with a smile on her face and says did you enjoy the lecture and you can tell from her voice that this is the woman who was giving the lecture that you just overheard very much so kindly allow us to exit the library for a breath of fresh air it was quite uh an enlightening experience I would I would be absolutely pleased if you could what was your what was the part that interested you the most oh the pictures the potato salad the lovely lady with the purple hair oh right I forgot her hair is naturally lavender yeah right yeah um oh I see I see it was quite a quite an interesting topic one I've spent much time investigating if you would please just join me perhaps we could go over a little bit more of the lecture I'd like I'd love some pointers yes sure yes quite a good idea I mean I mean we would love to but I have to use the bathroom would I be able to do that and then meet up with you afterwards I'm afraid not oh please join me and she she puts her hands like she clasps her hands behind her back and starts walking away uh should we go with her well we could take one old bitch right I guess if we really have to but she looks kind of like a grandma well she is asking for it you're saying very quietly to each other not yelling we could beat up one old lady right lady lady right right right and she walks you basically uh so there's like the doorway was in front of you with the stairwell and then along that wall there was like two other exits to this room yeah and she takes you uh left of the stairwell and walks you through another room into a smaller chamber with like desks and a lot of stuff and she walks you through another room and she walks you and walks you through another room into a smaller chamber with like desks and a lot of stuff and she a lamp do you like try and break off at any point or do you just follow her we just follow her why in tuck's head it's like oh the further we get away for this crowd the easier it'll be for us to like break away so it's like he's just down to follow yeah also he's kind of just interested in what's going on she just wants to talk we can fudge our way through that yeah all right so I follow you guys vinga's very cautious yeah and she work she walks you into what's functionally a work chamber like a study room breakout room for after the lectures when people want to go over the stuff.

And she stands by the doorway and gestures that you walk in after you. Okay, yeah. I'll discern realities as I'm walking into the room. Yeah. Because my plan is to, if I get in there and something's fucked up, to turn around and rush out. Yeah, totally. Six. I'll eight. I need eight. Okay. 13. Sick. All right. So yeah, one question. What is about to happen? Basically what's happening is she's walking you into this room because she knows something's up. She wasn't born yesterday.

She knows that you're trying to infiltrate the library. So she's getting you in this room to corner you. Okay. And that is where you find yourselves now. Yeah. With a 70-year-old woman standing in the doorway between you and the rest of the library, reaching herself up to her full height, doing that kind of thing where like an old woman is standing in the doorway and an old person who spends a little too much time hunched over, as you can tell, she's like stretching out her back and shoulders.

And she's got her hands clasped in front of her. And she says, why have you infiltrated this library? It feels surprisingly unthreatening. It feels unyielding, her question, but non-threatening. Why have you infiltrated my library? For the potato salad, I'm going to have to go to the library. Billy's still holding it. Yeah. That he's been eating like an apple. Yeah, it's really good.

I somehow doubt that you have gone through all the trouble of sneaking into a place renowned for its security for the potato salad. Your library? What's your name? I am Farah Margani, master librarian. Whoa. I met someone with the last name Margani five months ago on the other side of the sea. Your graves. I'm a Margani. What do you mean you spoke to Alma Margani? He died over a thousand years ago. He was the vessel for the icon of truth. And he was enslaved by the torch of McCall.

She takes one more step into the room, reaches behind her and closes the door, takes a chair from the desk and puts it just in front of the door, sits down and says, you have 10 minutes. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz. So long. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye.

Thank you to Aaron Reed for our incredible intro and outro music. And thank you to our supporters all around the world for supporting us on the internet, wherever that happens, at Spout Lore in most places. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale.

Tale of adventures three Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Speltman's Spout Lore!

I'm your Game Master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz. Hello everybody. Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Offers. Hey there. And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes, they had infiltrated the world renowned and mysterious Margani Library. Ooh. The episode before that.

And when last we left our heroes, they had been infiltrating the infamous and world renowned and mysterious Margani Library, attempting to capture a small worm. Who was about to tell on them. These stakes are low. So wildly low. You guys were level 10 last season. And you did that stuff. You infiltrated the library. Ving choked out an intern with sloth style. You found some books on cooking that you all know about. You found some books on cooking that you all insisted on taking.

Well, you suggested it. And this one had a picture of a mushroom on it. Yeah. That looked like a cock. I mean, he probably, Tuck probably thinks most mushrooms look like penises. I mean, yeah. Because they come in all shapes and sizes. And he thinks they're all beautiful. To be fair, they are penises. Yeah. They are the penises of the earth. That's true. Okay. What else happened? Oh, Billy found a secret service ladder. Man, he's good at stuff. Yeah. Thanks. Behind shelves. Yeah.

Secret corridor. A piece of the wall slid away, revealing a ladder on the fifth level that only Perel was able to use to get to the third level where the thaumaturgical history and philosophy section is said to be. Tuck couldn't fit. So Ving and Billy stayed behind. And you did a little bit of infiltrating again, sneaking around and stumbled upon a lecture upon the outer dark and the beings, forces which inhabit it. And the ways in which they inhabit the earth.

And a little crossover, which was fun. And a little crossover. Mall Brats. Mall Brats. Join the Patreon to figure out what those characters are. Yeah. Why you would give a shit at all. Why you care about a bunch of 50 and 60 year olds with weird names. Yeah. But that lecture was being given by whomst you later discovered to be Farah Margani, master librarian, the head of the Margani library, who asked him to give a lecture on the! The!! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The!

The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The!

Light guard and she put a chair down in front of the door and said you have 10 minutes and we cut back we cut back at the end of the 10 minutes where we've been acting it out with like explosions and using like chairs in the room as props and stuff yeah davin has cut a table in half to symbolize the the purifier and he set the table on fire to be like this is where the torch of mccall was standing and it ends with you all throwing your hands in the air and panting and then clasping hands and that's how that's how we got here and that's why so much cardio 10 minutes long time sorry I can't believe we pulled off that dance that's why we have to be here in right now get to do some reading so your friend this is in the library right now yes yeah I see that's going to be a problem for him but he's a good he's good he's a good guy he's a good wizard guy yeah yeah he's a good guy you're good guys you guys are best friends already basically yeah we're good guys we could be best friends we're good I will admit that I'm interested in the theory behind a wizard for one still walking this planet terribly interesting and also losing his connection to the thaumic realm absolutely fascinating uh we should probably find him as quickly as possible yeah um so that we can all reunite and learn about uh help him read the books right yeah that's a great idea billy yeah I will be frank in the past when individuals such as yourselves have infiltrated the hallowed halls of this institution please don't say was murdered there have been some who have met the end at the hands of a librarian within these halls and I would like you to explain to me why you three should not be one of those individuals billy puts up his hand right away I'm nine ah yes okay why one of you two should not be one of those individuals when he says that we whisper to each other he's like now he's nine now he's not a thousand all the other times when you're trying to get him to go to bed he's like I am ageless yeah the immortal do not have bedtime he's like kicking so hard as we're trying to swaddle him I am as the seasons I'm nine oh now I imagine last night's bedtime was really difficult yes it's because we had let him have baklava too late okay she turns to you and she's not I am not going to kill you it has been many years since one has met their end in the library under my tenure I prefer that blood not be shed in these halls so I can promise that you will leave here alive whether on your feet or on your back depends upon your next sentence you know what not our worst sentence not what I meant to say not our worst sentence we've ever spoke yeah she looks at her watch not the worst date I've ever been on and I'm not going to kill you and I wink at her and then I start making my pecs do a little dance for her she taps her wrist I am like this is the sentence was that the right sentence so you come here with these fascinating but outlandish stories all true and you expect me to believe you but considering that no one has even attempted to roll anything oh I am reticent to believe you I'm gonna sing a song to the to the nipple dance okay what's going on what are you trying to do you're basically are you trying to be like hey we just need a book and we're gonna get out of your hair or what well we just want to peruse the books yeah and potentially borrow them for a long time yeah just we wanted to like kind of just be chill with what we're doing right now yeah all right she is she's basically like if it is true that amma margani my most revered many great times grandfather and founder of this library is alive and is the vessel of the icon of truth and a truth demon as you have stated I would very much like to have those chains broken it might be unwise for the library to wage open war with the light guard and if you three effective though foolish you seem we bow again you're madam my middle name is foolish my middle name is madam uh if you three were to agree to work on behalf of the library in an attempt to gain further information into the existence and servitude of amma margani I would perhaps be willing to overlook your transgressions here today do you guys have benefits for you absolutely not what I have to go to the dentist well the library cannot be seen to be directly aiding individuals that would be working against the light guard I'm sure you understand sure that makes sense do we get per diem it's five coins a day standard yeah it's our standard rate how is this rate not increased so far last year I know what you're talking about it's not a good thing inflation bitch yeah it's been a year and a half and you've always said uh five coins and you've gotten it once yeah and it's because you literally had to kick in a motel door yeah so she basically says no absolutely not I'm not paying you you can't stay here I can't be seen to be in contact with you in the slightest well then how will we know how to do our jobs how will we get here ah yes no I understand we should have a method by which we are able to communicate and she leans in her chair over to like the wall next to her where there's another one of those little bookworm holes and she taps on it and a little bookworm crawls out of the hole onto her finger and uh she holds it out in front of you and says should we agree that you will do my work in the city this will be how we communicate how your messages are sent back to me how is it gonna walk fast enough she whispers she pulls it up to her mouth and whispers very quietly to it and from around like around its body kind of unfurl two very papery wings and it goes like you're beautiful flies around the room and lands back on her finger and wraps the wings back up oh my god you're so precious what are those these are bookworms they've existed in this library for probably over a thousand years bookworms are of course so a sort of a nomenclature but they're sort of a mixture between a caterpillar and a moth they're incredibly intelligent able to uh weave quite incredible garments out of their silk and able to transmit information and collect information and codify information in a way that allows us to keep up with the organization of the library complex though it may be being asked do you have a name oh great bookworm oh man oh man yeah wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome Beautiful to meet you.

Oman. Oman. Oman. Okay, yeah, Oman. His name's Oman. Yeah. Oman. And it brings its front two little tiny legs up, and you see it kind of bow. Oh! Its tiny little legs. That's adorable. We bow. Yeah, we all bow. Yeah. It's incredible that you're able to speak to these creatures. Wow, these are incredible creatures. He sticks his finger out. Oman crawls over onto your hand. Beautiful. Now, please convince me. Yeah, do I have to roll these things? No, you still have to roll.

She's saying, here's all the things that might happen. Also, she's kind of saying, you're going to help me, and maybe I'll help your friend. Okay. Maybe we're asking for reassurance or something? Yeah. Well, I guess we're asking for access to the book that Perel needs, and also for them to not kill Perel, because they've certainly already caught him. Oh, absolutely. And we cut to Perel being, dragged through a hallway by two burly librarians. And his wraps wrapped around his neck.

What's Perel saying? He's like, no, I love books. I'm here for the books. I love to, I've lived here forever for books. It's dead weight. He just says, dead weight. And he goes limp. And they keep dragging him. One of them's actually a guy that I wrote down. He's just like a really stocky dwarf, and he's just dragging Perel's ass down a hallway. Okay. Okay. So, Tuck's gonna roll charisma to try and ingratiate us with everything that we've told her to help us. Yeah. And I guess this is a parlay.

Yeah. She's like, you'll help me and I'll help you. Okay, cool. Or I won't help you and you'll still help me. Or I'll throw you in a big, deep, dark hole somewhere. Yikes. We were just in one. We're fine with that. Fine. We love holes. Yeah. Give us the deepest, darkest hole you got, lady. Yeah. Deepest, darkest hole you got is the name of a band that is blah, blah, blah. Wow. Wow. You are not okay. I've never seen Abdul's joke-telling style break down in his own mouth before. Fuck.

Fucking fuck. Three, four. Plus charisma. Plus charisma. Five, six. Oh! Billy. Billy, help. Plus bond. Still six. Oh, why'd you only have one bond? Wait. Can we do an aid to an aid? Oh, we've done this before. Aid to an aid. Aid to an aid. Because we were all doing the aid. Yeah, we have to gratiate, of course. Yeah. Okay, so 2D6 plus bond. I've already bonded with Oman. There it is. Yes! Fuck. I got a nine plus my aid to Billy is a two, so 11. Okay, so that makes Billy's aid a seven.

How is Billy aiding? Which makes… Oh, Billy's like… He's doing like the big baby eyes at her. Like, please, I'm just a little poor boy. Nobody loves me. Just a poor boy. From a poor family. Poor family. Spare him his life from this monstrosity. Easy come, easy go. Will you let us go? Bismillah! No! Will you not let us go? I'll let you go. Let us go! Never, never, never. So that's a seven, which means that she needs concrete assurance of your agreement right now. We have that water journal.

That was written by Aquarian Perel and them. Oh, as an addition to… Yeah, bartering knowledge they don't have is genius. Okay, so Billy pulls out the old journal and he's like, Okay, if you help us, I'll give you this book. It was written by three wizards. And it's just like their notes and stuff. And it's really important. And this is the original copy. And there's only one. And you can have… You can have it. Only if we can read all the magic books and you don't imprison us.

And you don't kill Perel. And you let us stay for a while to read all the books. Also lunch. We want lunch. Also, we're really hungry. We need lunch too. We literally just ate potato salad. Yeah. It's just a tiny potato salad. I'm sure you understand, Billy, that you are not offering me this book. You are giving me this book. I'm… Offering it. She takes the book out of your hand. She takes it right out of your hand. No. No problem. Just…

When you try and pull back, you're basically just being dragged across the floor. No. And she kind of picks it up and shakes you off like a little bug. Fine. But I tore out a good chunk of it. I'm lying. If you want these pages. Yeah. She flips through the book and she finds herself drawn into a few pages, really getting into this book, flipping a couple more pages. That's a good one. Isn't it? Yes. It's fascinating. An original copy.

One of the magicians upstairs is one of the magicians from this book. Sure are a lot of frog drawings in here. Yes. Yeah. That's… Yeah. That's his work. Fascinating. I am willing to accept this book as a token of your servitude to me. I bow. And I would also be willing to accept consultation on occasion by Perel. Is that the name of your friend? Yes. Yes. He would be honored. I would love a second set of eyes.

One of the original authors to walk me through this text on some of the more complicated topics. And as part of our agreement, I will now release you into the custody of the library temporarily so that we may find your friend and you may peruse the thaumaturgic history and philosophy section. And the sandwiches. And the sandwich section. I'm sure we can find you something to eat, but you must understand you are not staying on the premises. Yes, we are. No, you are not.

You mentioned that you have an apartment in the upper ward. Yeah. That is where you will remain. She knows all about cats. That is where you will remain. You will not be staying on the premises. You are not librarians. You are merely deniable assets of a type. But we can come and go as we please. Absolutely not. That sounds great. When you have information from me, you will speak to… Oman. Oman. The worm said its name was Oman, correct?

And Oman will return to me, relay that information to the hive. And the hive will relay it to the librarians and we will communicate that way. Cool. Now, let us go find your friend. She walks you out and through the sections of the library. She takes you up to the fourth floor, finds the room where Perel is being kept and interrogated almost. Or they're like getting ready to interrogate him. And spilling his guts. Okay. I'm a wizard. My friends are Tuck, Billy and Ving. Tuck is huge.

He's really dumb though. That's his weakness. Ving is almost seven. He's really tall. He's really skinny. If you hit him in the… If you hit him in the leg though, he's got a trick knee. If you put Billy in a burlap sack, that would do it. And we come around the corner. Oh, hi everybody. You'll never get a word out of me. We heard you. Burlap sack. I thought you knew me better. Burlap sack. I told you that in confidence. Yeah.

And Farah comes in and puts her hand on the shoulder of the dwarf librarian and says, Burke, this man… Is to be released. Yes. Very well. I was just about ready to get it out of him. I was going to crack him like an egg. And Burlap is like… Burlap is like sweating, staring at this guy like, looks like nobody's eggs are getting cracked today.

And he stands up and he brushes himself off and he picks up the fake mustache that fell off of his lip, slaps it back on his face and says, I believe that I shall be going now. And I assume you just fill him in on the deal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We let him know. Farah said that we could go look at her magic books as long as you helped her figure out what's going on with this notebook that you wrote in. And also as long as we, I don't know, steal her dad back from the light guard. Yeah.

Seems pretty simple. And Burke, the dwarven librarian, looks at all of you. And… And Farah's like, I will, I'll fill you in. I should make it abundantly clear that Ammar Margani is not my father. What was it? Grandfather? Great. Many times great. Ammar Margani died or supposedly disappeared over a thousand years ago. Whoa. Wait, how old are you? I am 102 years old. Whoa. What? Is she human? Oh, yeah. What? She looks 70. How? She's 102. And she's a fucking snack for a 70 year old. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know why Tux is sexually attracted to her. Physical prowess. That's all he cares about apparently. Yeah, I guess so. She says, I exercise a lot. It shows. I eat well. I take care of my body. My body is a temple and a weapon. Huh. Cool. I can relate. Fist pump. Same. And then I put my fist in there too. And it's got a Twinkie in it. Billy's clutching potato salad. Yeah. She smiles to herself and puts her hand in for the fist bump.

Now, I will allow you to go to the third level to the Thaumaturgic History and Philosophy section to find what you require. I will be expecting regular updates in the form of Oman returning to the library. But understand, if it is at all possible, I would like you to both locate and release Amar Margani from the service of the Lightguard. Okay. Okay. We'll do what we can. Yeah. I expect nothing less. Okay. And she bows and she turns and starts walking down a corridor. Okay. Off to her work.

Bye, Farah. Bye. Wow. What a head. What a head of the library. What a lady. Wow. What a woman. That was Perel. Okay. Did she say she was 102? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm 110, but I'm… Magic. Yeah. And also, you look like shit most of the time. I look like I'm 130. Trust me. I mean, I should make it clear, but for a wizard, I have aged poorly. I spent a lot of time in swamps. I know. Yeah. That shit does not do good. It's very corrosive some of the time. I was 109 when I went into the box.

Then I spent almost 100 years in the box. And now it's been about a year since I've come out. So, yeah, that makes sense. I'm 110. Technically 210. So, I'm looking pretty slick for 210. God. I guess so. Thank you. And he turns away. He just starts walking. Nope. Thank you. You said I look good. You said I look good. Thank you. Everybody agrees. Goodbye. I turn to these guys and I'm like, I think being stuck in that box maybe is what made his skin so ashy. Oh, probably.

He wasn't getting enough vitamin D. Yeah. It explains why his fashion sense is so out of date too. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So, yeah. I mean, all that there is really left to do in the library right now is to go check out some books. Great. Sweet. When we get up to the third floor, can we all like Spout Lore about like some books we're flipping through? Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll do like a Spout Lore per person. Yeah. Okay. Cool.

So, yeah, you're on the third floor in the Thaumaturgical History and Philosophy section, which is the whole chamber. That's what this is. It's all books on magical philosophy, theory, history. And Perel is like… He's like agape. He's so excited. He's like running his hands along the bookshelves, like running down the aisles like Belle in Beauty and the Beast. He's having just a ball of a time. He's singing that song. I can't remember the library. There must be more than this provincial life.

Just watch, I'm going to make Belle my wife. There goes the baker with his tray like always. The same old bread and apples to serve. He's like singing to himself. But you've read it three times already. He's doing all the voices. He's spinning and stuff. Yeah. And that's the thing is he's singing it all in his head. So when you see him, he's just silently spinning in a circle with his arms outstretched. The ladder on rollers. Yeah. Yeah. So Perel's going crazy in here. He's having so much fun.

And you're all just kind of walking around grabbing books off shelves. Yeah. The vibe is our parents took us to Sears and we have to kill time. Yeah. Somebody. I mean, what we're going to do is we'll go. I mean, I always do left to right. So we'll start with Abdul. Think of a topic and then Spout Lore. And if you get a partial success, you learn something interesting. And if you get a 10 plus, you can tell me how it is useful to you. So this is a magic theories. Theory. History. History.

History practices like accounts of the lives of famous magicians. Warlocks. Oh, cool. Yeah. Oh, no. Yes. All right. So warlocks. Two to six plus intelligence. Oh, fuck. Oh, man. Well, plus my intelligence is 12. Sick. Wow. Wow. How many spelt lores has it been that you succeeded at? This is number two. Oh, man. Okay. Okay. So tell me something. Interesting and useful about warlocks. Oh, I'm flipping through the book and there's like an accounting of like all references to warlocks in literature.

It's like all the different times we've seen warlocks referenced in plays, poetry, music, and it's like organized by date. Like I kind of just flip to the first section, which is labeled prehistory. The first piece in there is the Sea of Graves poem from the end of season five. Uh huh. Wow. Wow. In between the wicked waves, there is an ocean full of graves. I'm not going to read the whole thing. Yeah, please. But the go to the end of season five if you want to hear that poem.

Jessica does an amazing reading of it. Thanks. Underneath, it's like an annotation that it's like, this is a children's nursery rhyme known the world over. Like principalities, McCall, Panuja, everyone knows this, implying that it is, its origin is in the prehistory from like whatever event created the Sea of Graves. Mm-hmm. And then there's like… Yeah. And then there's like a, like it indicates the line, a door beneath the ocean floor, it needs a lock and nothing more.

And it's like, it does not make sense that to open a door, you have to put a lock into it. The hypothesis is that because the poem has probably changed so much over time, that was originally referring to warlocks. Mm-hmm. And that warlocks are the only people who can open the door beneath the ocean floor. Whoa. Cool. Fuck, that's so sick. Which is most likely Lillian's tomb. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I mean, yeah, Tuck having been there connects those dots.

The only thing that I will, I think, because I think, yes, that is the reference is it means warlock. Like reading it and having been there and seen things and learned what you learned, the thing that you think about is that, yes, it's probably a warlock that would be required to open the door, but also probably a warlock that closed it in the first place. I thought Chimes closed it. Chimes said he helped build the tomb. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. So a warlock is the one who trapped Lillian here.

He just said that he was part of the construction of the tomb. He didn't say who else was. But the thing that you for sure are guessing is that Chimes knew or knows a warlock. Oh. And I think that it is. Yeah. Because I was saying that it doesn't mean this in earth languages, but I think the word warlock is a form of a word that means to bind or be bound. Oh. Cool. So like that is what they're, they either bind.

They're really good at binding things like demon, other demons, other warlocks or their, and it also considers the fact that they are bound by whatever icon they are inhabited by. Yeah. So you learned that a warlock was involved in the construction of the tomb of Lillian and that Chimes probably knew them personally. Cool. Yeah. Sick. Cool. Is that, is that useful information? Yes. Okay. Great. It's useful in that. It probably, it probably will give some of our listeners a fucking hard.

It's given me listeners. Yeah. I mean, I listened. Okay. Paul, what, uh, what book is being found? It's a book on when the sect of the Druids left the, the magistrate of magicians, the history of the, the division between the Druid magic and, and, um, the Druid magic. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Roll it. 2d six plus, uh, intelligence. Uh, I get to use wisdom because of my, yes, you do shit. Yeah. No, thank God I got seven, seven. Okay. So, um, lay some world building on us.

What, what ha how did that happen? What did it do? But you're not unfortunately going to get anything that's like actionable information. That's fine. I think it was that they, the Druids weren't. They weren't tied to the land. And so they, they had more of a, a spiritual nature to that.

And because that conflicted with magicians, they're more hands on, they're more construction and they're more like they build things with the magic and they do things with the magic with the spiritual, uh, realm is, is interacting with the spiritual realm is already there. You're feeling the force part of the flow. So they were more part of that scene. And like, you don't have to be so destructive in the spiritual. The magicians were way more. More destructive.

And, you know, uh, part of that was, uh, part of the wars, right? Like there was part of the way back when. Yeah. Right. Yeah, totally. I just had a eyes, a gape revelation. Yeah. Well, cause something that we've revealed that we talked about in, uh, spout Lorigin's for cruel runnings was that traditionally Druids of the shape-shifting variety have been half elves. But. Yeah. And now we're talking about. Connecting dots that we have laid out considering things.

Mother Iliana was a shape-shifter and a human. Yeah. And now considering that you're reading this book, that's like, oh shit, Druids and magicians were like connected. Either they work together or they're cut from the same cloth, but there was just like a philosophical division and how they worked their magic. I think Ving is asking himself some questions like, was my mom a fucking wizard? Well, everyone called her a witch. Yeah. Yeah.

And because of, you know, of her, her potions and her, that sort of stuff and shape-shifting, I guess. Yeah. Because everything that you were taught was that it's only possible for Druids to shape-shift if you have both human and elf blood. And your mom never really got into why she could shape-shift. But now that you're thinking about it, she never really aged all that much when you were young. Your dad was afraid of her. My dad was afraid, very afraid.

And also now you're like, okay, well, why was I able to. To take so many forms. What's the spirit Walker thing? Cause you're still trying to grapple with that. Like your total is whatever the spirit Walker is. The fact that you could take whatever form you chose to take. Yeah. I think that Ving is having some, like, is trying not to do that thing where you're like, oh my God, you know, like you kind of start spiraling with all the possibilities.

So, yeah, that is something that I think Ving learns. That's pretty huge. Because Druids and magicians kind of came from the same starting point. But became very. Very different over time. Oh. Damn. Cool. Family mysteries. They're deep. He's going to take that to his counselor. He has a counselor as part of his work, I guess, because you work for the city. Yeah. Yeah. It's a free employee program, though. So it's really only eight sessions.

He's saying, he's saying that I'm going to take this back to my counselor. Only got a few sessions. This is going to be really handy for my counselor. Wow. I'm excited. I'm excited by that revelation. Pretty sick. Okay, Jessica. Yeah, that's really cool. What book has Billy brought to someone to read to him? Well, Billy can't really read. So he went on a little wander by himself and he did spy a book that he could read. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And it's in fairy language, like the ancient runic language.

Whoa. Yeah. So he picks that up and it's like really old. Super old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like ancient, like the most ancient runs. That's why, like Billy could kind of like some of it was familiar.

Runes yeah is it slightly hieroglyphic um they're more abstract and cruder for sure uh like penises and boobs uh definitely no well it's like I think about it like um like cuneiform right where it was just like we have a triangular stick we poke it into this clay yeah and that's how we make all our letters very like specific like it doesn't look like much if you can't read it hell yeah so what's the book about so it's written by a winter fairy yeah yeah yeah that's awesome and billy knows that's like well it's obviously a really old book and that like to become a winter fairy that's a really old spirit and the book it's a first person account and it talks about the splitting of like the fairies from the spirit world because originally that's what a fairy is is it's a spirit that like rejected natural laws of the spirit world whoa and so they were ejected from the spirit world and they just kind of exist between the spirit world and like the outer dark which makes sense why billy can kind of manipulate magic yeah and interact with demons yeah yeah holy shit so cool so the fey is the space between the outer dark the thalmic realm the spirit world in the material plane it's sort of that in-between spot uh-huh yeah their nature is chaotic but not evil yeah and they can move within things like fluidly like that so they can move between all the different realms sort of like billy could go to the spirit world you know he's but he's not a spirit so he couldn't like he didn't transform into anything yeah okay all right cool cool cool cool you gotta roll time to roll to learn because I want you to tell me about this this fairy like if depending on what you got plus intelligence fuck are you kidding me god snake eyes holy shit one two oh no can we do it I wanted to know this so bad oh wait no no no no no wait no what we said was that failure oh you're still gonna learn things but I'm gonna keep that failure for later okay so you're not getting unfortunately you're not gonna get any like actionable information out of it like billy's not gonna learn a new power or whatever yeah um but we are gonna hear the story about this fairy and hear about like how it came here what it did oh yeah it's just that like it talks about the breaking like the exile of the fairies and they are cast away nowhere to go and so they lived in this like kind of like a shadow world of the spirit world like it was almost like a memory of like the landscape and in that world the fairies like built it up themselves like you know I I miss I miss the trees I miss the flowers so they made their own versions of trees yeah that are kind of like it's kind of like a wapple tree but it's like the like like the insights are silver or something like it's like different and things could change when they like wanted it to like when you were when you first met perel and the birds were singing backwards oh yeah they were yeah yeah and over time the fairies became like better at that like at shedding their the natural laws that bound them and so they learned to play and like in that play like transform stuff just naturally like you know whatever they wanted or needed it could be anything yeah you don't have to bend the rules you can just do whatever you want to do it's just like it's rules there are no rules yeah and in and over time from that they were able to slip into the physical world and play there but they still because I mean we've talked about how they're like billy was bound to a tree or whatever so but they still need that like anchor point yeah so they can't like exist on their own as themselves they have to like inhabit something like it could be like a house or a shoe it could be a living plant or an animal it could be ephemeral things um but once that object is gone uh then they would be like they would be like they would be brought back to like the fairy realm or they would have to find something else to inhabit but billy's able to stay permanently because he inhabited this child that was dying at the time yeah so cool fucking cool all right what's perel doing right now uh he's going systematically from shelf to shelf pulling volumes off and throwing them into his arms and perel is like I've just been having the best time here I've okay but here okay I found something this is an accounting of another wizard named bradley who had their connection to their thalmic power severed not in the same way not by their friend cutting through their neck with a shadow axe hey I saved your fucking life I don't want to talk about it right now you keep I don't want to talk you said you were fine with it when we got here you said we worked through it and then you keep opening this thing back up I'm working through a pretty devastating change in my life I don't blame you but you were certainly a key part of it you that's fair no it's not fair because yesterday when we all went out for ice cream I asked for tiger tail and you brought me back an empty cone and said this is how I feel all the time I do and now that you have felt the cone that does not hold the cream you know what it is like to be a wizard that does not hold their power pearl do you need to see a counselor yes absolutely I know one you can come see mine she's great uh I do not get mental health benefits through my job what is your job what is his job it's a dishwasher at the cafe I actually I bet he does work at the cafe that he lives over yeah he's yeah he's like a prep guy he just cuts vegetables just a line cook and he hates it because he has to do everything with his hands like physically it's infuriating bad at it yeah you know I could just turn this carrot into a sandwich if this was a year ago and then janet's like listen I'm tired of listening to this stuff you gotta just do your job man cut it that's what I'm paying you for uh yeah so he's talking about like okay here's a book that I found about another wizard who lost connection to their power here's a book that contains a passage that I found about someone who was not a wizard who was imbued with thalmic energy pretty incredible what was their name gradly you know what it's pretty wild that the two books had such similar names that's cool I wonder if I need to change my name to an ad sounding name and this he found a third book and this this book is about uh someone who was able to develop thalmic energy develop the power cultivate it from nothing so I think I've got three pretty good directions that I can go in yeah um I think I'm gonna stay for a little bit longer and read the books more oh yeah that's fine for sure so I'll see you all later sounds good okay yeah thank you thank you and he gets like he's so excited but is that's dying away a little bit as he's thinking and he's like thank you so much for thank you oh it's no big deal we just had to swim through some poop yes broadly you did have to swimsuit through some poop but there was a lot of risk involved I know that you are putting your lives on the line for me that's what friendship's like you know sometimes you have to wade through shit my friends in the past have traditionally not been the kinds to wade through shit for me and I just wanted to tell you how much I love you I appreciate it tuck grabs him by the shoulder and he puts his hand in his pocket and he pulls out the crumbled remains of the cone that he gave him and he gives it to him in his hand and he's like I wish that that was a more fulfilling gesture than it was and it's not even in his hand it's on top of the three books that he's holding I hope you can fill this up get some cream in this should have said that that's what I thought you were that's what I was thinking you were saying that's so funny but you didn't yeah tuck didn't clue that in honestly billy said it but billy said it yeah billy I don't know puts his hand on top on top because he thinks we're doing like a friendship hand thing and billy's standing on a shelf that's at shoulder level with perel he sereno de bergerac's the the correct line into tuck's head which is like just say this I hope you can fill that up the cone that is such an incredible thing to say billy such a thing that just cut to the heart of the issue yeah I wish someone else had said that I'm just you know they probably have an ice cream machine here so oh he means actual ice cream you mean actual ice cream yeah what else would I mean don't worry about it billy okay ding do you have anything heartfelt no I don't have anything heartfelt about it that you'd like to share with me I mean no I mean the cream thing I was gonna say yeah cream but I hope your cream fits in this cone but that sounded gross billy said it better even though he meant ice cream you know I'm sure we didn't even really have to do this I'm sure you guys know that I appreciate no we had to do it okay all right well I'm gonna go read some books and take some notes I'm gonna do some homework thing reaches forward and pulls the mustache off you don't need this anymore pal I guess I don't have to hide anymore he puts it on billy thank you I'm gonna need this because I'm stealing this book because I'm stealing this book are you actually stealing the book yeah all right tricks of the trade yes oh holy shit eight plus dexterity is ten and what does ten plus say on tricks of the trade uh ten plus I do it no problem yeah damn okay so it's not a huge book because it was written by a fairy yeah um I guess you just slip it in your pack yep oman definitely knows that you took it but he won't say a thing will you oman it is my duty thing shoots out of his face and he zips away into the cupboards oh maybe use your last hold oh my last hold oh to charm yeah an individual for a short time whoa whoa whoa wait oman I'm just gonna say this book is a good book I'm just borrowing it and he doesn't say anything you ving you hear him just kind of or you watch him uh curl up he crawls into billy's hair okay and there's just a bookworm in billy's hair now but it doesn't fly away yeah it's nice in there isn't it it smells like cheese you don't have to leave it was all a dream uh and yeah billy billy gets away with this fairy book cool yes this is gonna come back to bite you I can only assume I don't know if it's gonna come back to bite you I don't care it's the book of my people yeah he deserves it that's true it belongs in a library it's in a library put it back uh okay so well and you guys are just heading back to your apartment I guess ooh from the margani library it probably takes a while to get back to your apartment they actually do the blindfold thing too oh right they just dump us on the street I imagine it was sort of like the crowd from the lecture hall is heading back on the same bus too and we're just like oh my god we get dropped off at like other buses so that people don't know and then we're dropped off in like the center of the city totally yeah so it's a couple hours of them transferring you to different carts there's one that's pulled by a centaur who seems like a pretty chill dude he drags you around for a little bit you get into separate carts all the carts scatter all over the place there's a lot of shell game shenanigans tuck's trying to sherlock holmes like figure out what is how to how what the path is by smelling the bus with a pen and paper and then he's like oh my god it smells and tastes and stuff we passed by this one place it uses a specific kind of beer in the bathroom can I you're gonna actually try yeah oh yeah I guess so yeah I guess it would be I hope lauren smells I guess it would no I guess it would be discern realities yeah wisdom to use your fucking brains to figure out where the library is okay here we go fuck four plus five okay five shit you think there's without a doubt without a shadow of a doubt that the library is beneath the biggest tetherball stadium in all of mccall because they're all jacked they must play tetherball totally yeah there's no way that they don't they run the tetherball league and he's smelling the air and he's like yeah I can smell tetherballs yeah I can smell balls he showed that to everyone and he's trying to be kind of a dick to the guy that's driving the cart where he's like oh you're not gonna tell me where we're going to go well I'll tell everyone where we are and I'm like I smell balls we're near the tetherball court we're near the fig martha memorial tetherball stadium and you got and like the driver looks around and it's just bear desert you're just in the alcoholy desert right now he just went around the city yeah and every once in a while he's like croissants we're in the bakery district now and the library everything smells like shit to him though he's coated in shit he's covered in shit he's covered in shit he's covered in shit he's covered in shit the smell does not work that's why you're only smelling food because there's remnants of food in the town's shit and yeah you get dropped off and they take your hood gets taken off and you were just in a regular ass looking rickshaw with like a regular blindfold on totally normal person pulling it and you're just in the middle of the city what wait where did the centaur go what centaur I'm taking you out for a drink on the town people don't have accents like that here but this guy does who are you my name's gibby I came all the way from the principalities I did I had a dream to be a rickshawman just like my grandfather before me wow he tips his cap and he runs away oh I wanted more information he leaves you in the rickshaw the rickshaw tips backwards and you all fall out oh shit and you're just in the middle of the city and it's nighttime and you can tell you're in cliffside because of the the nighttime glow of all the neon signs oh what should we do guys I mean get cleaned up get a rest have some tea go talk to a thing let's go to a bathhouse oh yeah good idea yeah let's go to a bathhouse we look like shit I feel like cash is gonna get really mad if it's two nights in a row that we're covered in shit okay that was what I was gonna ask why not just go home and shower but it's because you don't want to make cash mad uh okay so you're going to a bathhouse is there a particular bathhouse that the crew goes to I guess we're going to kind of a nicer one because we're treating ourselves because we actually did a good job for once yeah we're like high-fiving on the way yeah great job you said you were going to a good job you stole that book bill bill that was amazing and I and I tore this page out of the book I was looking at oh what does it say it's about how warlocks are in the thing it's a table of contents unfortunately you just ripped out the table of contents what the fuck that's not useful I put the table of contents back in my bag it'll help us find it next time we go to the library but it won't help you find the chapter because tuckled's definitely going to lose that table of contents uh yeah so you go to the library you go to a um place that is called the the summer flower bathhouse holy shit and spa and that one is in the lower ward the lower ward what it's the nicer one we want to go to the nicer one wow okay so you're taking uh various forms of transport you actually go down into the deep ward you catch a tram that takes you all the way out of the cliff cool into the lower ward uh-huh and this it's cool because the lower ward has its own tram station like it's above ground it's very fancy lots of cool like wrought metal uh things with like flower designs they have roofs with like flowers like grown into it and the roofs all have um windows like windows in the top that have very elaborate sun designs and like fire motifs and all that yeah with sunglass sunstone oh yeah beautiful sunstone shit many small things like that are like sunstones smaller pieces yeah yeah like the one in the lighthouse is gigantor but there's like fancy little like lamps and stuff made of out of sunstone down here I think the uh like it's fire is like high class sunstone super high class totally yeah and so those are the two light sources down here but you're you're you're um struck by the number of open flames that you see there's like braziers torches lamps and it's all just fire oh my god with the occasional sunstone thing like the here and there and there's salt statues oh yeah yeah!

Yes okay so I was actually thinking they might ring the bay mm-hmm like they're along the inside of the bay wall huge statues yeah how big is it yeah uh oh like so how tall is the the cliff again like 90 feet yeah let's say 90 100 feet yeah so the statu- the statues are about that big like I think the heads of some of the statues almost reach the top of the cliff to cliffside yeah whoa they're gigantic they're monolithic they're enormous and they depict the various prophets of fire that have lived throughout the years does the torch of mccall count as a prophet of fire no he is a different entity altogether okay so actually that was a question that I had because we've talked about the- we talked about the prophet of fire a million years ago mm-hmm I figure there have been a bunch since then mm-hmm like maybe six or seven sure and they- they're the prophet like from childhood to their death mm-hmm how do people know that they're the prophet of fire has something happened to them I think it's like some dalai lama stuff like there are tests that they administer to them to see if they're a prophet or not like there are tests that they administer to them to see if they're a prophet or not mm-hmm mm-hmm administer to potential children and if the children make the right random choices they're like ah yes this is the next prophet of fire like if some kids mobile burns down like oh yeah a lot of arsonists I guess okay how about this so since so much of the religion of the flame is about enduring hardship most of the prophets of fire have been from poor working-class families but the most recent one is from the lower ward oh and it's considered like strange like the like the really pious that aren't wealthy people are like that's kind of fucked I don't know about this but they're not open about that because of course it's the prophet you don't say that kind of stuff and that came kind of about the time that like the political shift yeah I've been the torch took over and he was given a mandate to like exterminate demons yeah find the next prophet and the torch found this child the torch is the one that found this kid no that's right so the torch it again it is not an unusual thing because it's usually the like it's usually the jinn that find him what are you sorry oh so I've have I talked about gin yet no okay so gin were an idea that I had for like a cool kind of priest cast I guess so a long time ago the story goes that the God of the flame bound the jinn to be like his emissaries and priests so jin traditionally in mythology have like bodies of smokeless they're just like beings made of fire which the God of the flame was like hell yeah hum all about that so they could interact with humanity the God of the flame created for them bodies of fired clay so they have these very elaborate bodies that look like ornate suits of armor but made out of like ceramic not glazed pretty rough but like earthenware earthenware but the designs are very intense and elaborate but they look like um walking suits of clay armor with fire flickering inside them okay yeah so usually the jinn identify the new prophet yeah but this time the torch did whoa oh man it's just wrought with power and balances yeah cool so the the summer flower bath house you arrive at its beautiful tiled front gate and you just walk in what's your usual uh order when you go to a bath house oh we've never been to one this fancy but I would like hello hello uh madam hello hello us three would like to order a bath we have many packages that involve bathing oh packages okay I've never been to one with choices please gaze ye upon our menu posted here on the wall what would be you what would be the best one for like uh a night spent in and around a sewer you would be looking for one which draws upon the toxins of the body pulling them out of the flesh and skin and so and for that I could only recommend our finest herbal mud soaks okay yeah sure sure do you guys do laundry it peels off shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!

Of beautiful and seemingly very old baths carved out of the finest sandstones glazed with the most beautiful glazes and bubbling with the richest most earthy muds with which to soak your tired bones and just at the very end of the chamber is Cash Cash is at the bathhouse yeah he's just like he's getting his nails he's getting a mani pedi and he hears the doors open and he briefly lifts a cucumber off his eye and looks to see who it is what's up we're like we came here to give you a night away from us and he sinks below the surface of the mud oh he looks relaxed and I think that's where we're gonna end it for this week I've been your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers and playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai thanks to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music which thrills chills and spills the great feelings every time spills spills feelings and thank you to all of our amazing supporters the world round you can find us at Spout Lore most places on the internet including patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money please we'll see you next time bye bye so long and so ends the tale of adventure three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution resolution returning next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I gladly Spout Lore

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Alright, welcome everybody to Spelt Lord.

I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian Abdulaziz. Hello. Playing Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Hey there. Playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Hello.

When last we left our heroes, they had come face to face with Farah Margani, Master Librarian of the Margani Library And many times great-granddaughter of Amma Margani, founder of the Margani Library And current vessel for the Icon of Truth and Truth Demon in the indenture of the Light of the Dark. And the adventure of the Light Guard, as far as we are aware of as of the Crystal Bay adventure.

Farah Margani took the party into a side room, very sternly but very kindly, before closing the door and saying with words in her eyes, Tell me what you're doing here or I'm gonna beat your ass. And they did. They gave her the whole song and dance, quite literally giving her a song and dance as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah, there was a lot of the doing that thing where we were pretending to be ships and then we were like, Yeah, there was a lot of the doing that thing where we were pretending to be ships and then we were like, And then we were like, And then it was like, And then the waves And I was like, And lightning And lightning And lightning Giving a Ember Island Players style breakdown of the entire series up until this point, I guess. I suppose kind of more seasons five and six.

Yeah, you don't want to give her the whole feel. That's what we said to her. Yeah, Tuck was like, this is more just seasons five and six. Yeah, Tuck was like, this is more just seasons five and six. You don't need to know much more before that. You don't need to know much more before that. And after some semi successful roles and a daisy chained aid situation that I allowed. For some reason. For some reason, sometimes I can be convinced.

The party was able to convince Farah to allow Perel the opportunity to peruse the Thaumaturgical History and Philosophy section of the library in an attempt to locate specific texts and manuscripts. The party was able to convince Farah to allow Perel the opportunity to peruse the Thaumaturgical History and Philosophy section of the library in an attempt to locate specific texts and manuscripts.

The party was able to convince Farah to allow Perel the opportunity to peruse the Thaumaturgical History and Philosophy section of the library in an attempt to locate specific texts and manuscripts. The party was able to convince Farah to allow Perel the opportunity to peruse the Thaumaturgical History and Philosophy section of the library in an attempt to locate specific texts and manuscripts.

The party was able to convince Farah to allow Perel the opportunity to peruse the Thaumaturgical History and Philosophy section of the library in an attempt to locate specific texts and manuscripts. The party was able to convince Farah to allow Perel the opportunity to peruse the Thaumaturgical History and Philosophy section of the library in an attempt to locate specific texts and manuscripts. And how he can, if he can, regain his powers.

And in that time, the party also perused some books, finding amongst other things that… I found out that the Sea of Graves poem indicates that a warlock is the one who locked Lillian away. And that Chimes probably knows a warlock. Or knew or something. He has firsthand experience with warlocks. Yeah. And didn't say anything about that. Why would he, though? I don't know. Okay. You can say. Yeah. And Ving learned… That the druids and the magicians have a shared origin.

And years ago, there was a rift between them. And that maybe that is affecting his relationship with his parents on some smaller level. Yeah. In that perhaps or perhaps not, Ving's mother may potentially have been wizard or wizard adjacent. Yeah. Meaning? That Ving could potentially be part wizard. There's some Thalmic shit, maybe. Yeah. And we also learned on Billy's end… Billy found a book written by a winter fairy in the ancient fairy language, which is like the first of runes.

That the fairy world is basically the world that exists when spirits were basically like gained individuality and shed their natural law and were exiled from the spirit world. Yeah. And it kind of exists between the spirit world and the out of dark. Cool. So cool. And also that during the season six finale, what Billy did was enter the fae realm. Yeah. Like willingly be like whoop between worlds, which is something that perhaps he's going to…

That he might not even realize he was able to do, but something that he has the potential to be able to do. I don't think he knew he could do it, but I think it was almost like, again, instinct. Totally. And Billy stole that book. Yeah. Yeah. Stole a book that I guess Tuck and Ving and Perel saw Billy reading. Or perhaps you just thought he was looking at a book. He looks at books a lot. And then usually they're fucking ruined afterward. It's covered in barbecue sauce.

There's just peanut butter in here. He tries to… This is more potato salad than book now. Yeah. He used it as a panini press. You can tell. Yeah. He's trying to press flowers, but instead of a flower, it's a sandwich. Which… Just press the sandwich in here and light this book on fire. So many PBJs, paninis made in that. He knows that you can save flowers by pressing them between pages. And he's like, I want this sandwich to last forever. It's almost half a sandwich.

So many of Cash's books have been ruined. All the grill marks are just the words onto the bread. Yeah. Yeah. That's silly, buddy. Is this sandwich? It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. Oh, and the party was also bestowed upon a bookworm named Oman. Oman. Who is going to come with you as a intermediary between yourselves and the librarians.

We'll deliver messages and information in the form of reports as you have agreed to help Farah Margani locate and best case scenario free from servitude Amma Margani. Yeah. In return for her letting Perel peruse peruse the books. Yeah. And kind of work out of the library every couple of days. Yeah. And help her understand more fully firsthand accounts of the golden age of wizardry. Yeah. Yeah. Man, they're going to fuck for sure. Oh, probably. Gross. I mean, they're roughly the same age.

So maybe. Yeah. I'm into this. Why? It's like when you're, your uncle meets your English teacher. You know, you know that feeling everybody has when your uncle meets your English teacher and you're like, oh yeah, we all share that experience, right? Hey, is this just a fetish that I'm discovering? Are you just talking about Riverdale again? Man, he's going to grunders her unders for sure. Grunders her unders. Amazing. Oh my God. I'm so funny.

And after gathering these books, Billy stealing a book and Perel being like, I'll see you later. I'm going to stick around and do some work. You've left the library returning to the city of McCall and heading to the lower ward to treat yourself. Why not? We had a hard day. Yeah. Treat yourselves to a stay in a bathhouse. So you can clean the millennia old shit off of you.

And upon entering the mud room of the summer flower bathhouse and spa, you saw your much beleaguered roommate, Cash Alplates, devastated to see his night on the town crumble before him. Oh yeah. We were trying to give him a night away from us, actually. Yeah. And that is where we find our friends now. I guess neck deep in some mud. Yeah. So let's see what everybody's doing. What's Tuck doing in the bathhouse? He, I guess he's maybe in a steam room because he loves being hot and wet.

Who doesn't, right? I guess. Yeah. What's Ving up to? He's getting his hair conditioned and doing his, he's getting a big old nail done job. Yeah. Yeah, totally. And he's getting waxed. Where? From the neck down. Holy shit. He's like, I've had enough. I don't want anything resembling the bears that I've overtook. Whoa. Full human only human. Take all my hair. No more body hair. Yeah. Whoa. And Tuck walks by while the wax is happening and he's like, woo, smooth as an eel, buddy.

And he walks away. Right off the stroke. What's Billy up to? Billy, I had to take a workplace mandated shower. AKA the receptionist like, no, you have to shower off first, little guy. So I did that. And now I'm in the mud. I'm in the mud bath with cash. I was like, oh, if he's here, like maybe he'll enjoy my company. So he's ingratiating himself. It's so funny in my head because they're like classic Turkish bath, like the individual bath. So Billy's just in a huge bath by himself.

He looks like a lone meatball in an Italian wedding suit. They had to get a bucket to put in it so he didn't drown. So he could sit on something. He's sitting on a box in the mud. It's like a bee bath, but for Billy. Yeah. And cash just has his eyes closed. He's trying not to listen. But what's Billy chattering at cash about? So it was crazy. Like there was this worm on me and it just hopped off and it was going to tell on us.

And then I tried to get it, but it fought back and it was like into this hole into the wall. And then I was like, well, we can't let this happen. So then tuck smash the wall and I got the worm out and I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I forget. Oh, yeah. Tuck smushed it in a book. I don't know. Cash. Do you think that there's like an afterlife for that worm? Billy, if I if I even came close to believing anything that you just told me, I would still say no.

I don't think there's an afterlife for worms. Oh, Billy is so sad. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I think I think that. Yes, I think there's a special afterlife for worms. What do you think it looks like? He bites his lip and he looks away like I can't believe I'm getting drawn into this again. Again. You might notice I might be the only thing keeping this poor saps heart. I guess right.

I guess maybe it looks like a lawn like a little lawn for the worms to crawl around in. Yeah. Billy's tearing up because it's a nice lawn. Yeah. He's imagining. Yeah. Hey, Billy, are you crying? Yeah. He lifts a cucumber off his eye. Yeah. Just, you know, I just, I just didn't want him to tell us. I didn't mean for him to die. I think it was family now. Okay. All right. Okay. Again, assuming that anything you say is even remotely true that you went to the Margani library.

I mean, it's a bookworm, right? Yeah. And it was in a book. Yeah. That's where they want to be, isn't it? So maybe it didn't die at all. Oh, maybe. Yeah, maybe. Oh, I feel so much better. Thanks, Cash. Hey, no problem. He puts the cucumber on his eye and he sinks his ears under the mud. Cut back to a week and a half ago when Billy was like, do you think all of the book lavas I eat have an afterlife that they go to? And Cash had to have basically the exact same color as me.

Anytime Billy's faced with the death or destruction of anything in McCall, he asks Cash about an afterlife because Cash is, he's part of the Church of the Flintstones and Billy doesn't know anything about it. Right, yeah. Yeah. So he's like, and I mean, in the Church of the Flame, in my mind, there's no spiritual afterlife like that. No, you kind of just turn into ash and you reintegrate. Yeah. So he has to keep making stuff up to make this kid happy.

Just the normal places that you find that thing, a long, a plate. No, there's a plate that's the perfect plate. There's a big pile under a glass display. Yeah. I don't know, Billy, I guess that there's a stairwell under which all of the rats go. I don't know what you want me to tell me. What do you want me to tell you? Yeah, cut back to Tuck in the steam room. Yeah, he's just shvitzing. Can't really see much. Yeah, it's pretty like misty in here. Yeah.

Like, it's kind of, it's a large enough steam room. You could fit a bunch of people in here. At this time of night, there's not really that many people in here. And he, he has like a towel over the arm that has the tree tattoo because he's still pretty embarrassed about it. He doesn't like that he has a tattoo. For some reason, he's very averse to the tattoo. He doesn't like tattoos. I mean, I guess that makes sense. And he has his wrist straps on, but he's full nude otherwise.

So they gave him a towel for his waist, but he just wrapped it around his arm. Yeah. And you hear coming down, like outside the room, through the open door, a familiar voice. Yeah, so I told him, you know, if my mace isn't ready by the end of the week, then I don't know how I'm going to make it. I don't do any work. You know what I mean? And he walks right into the room. Oh, no. Oh, no. You can't see him at all, but you can hear the voice.

And I can smell the acrid smell of like that accelerant that he had. Oh, the fuel that he uses in his mace. And he also uses it, it seems like, as aftershave. Yeah. He's just wiping gasoline on his body all the time. Pours it out of the axe on his wrists and rubs it together. I love that. Mill, is that the right word? Anyways, and he's, he's got, he's got another guy with him. It's aerosolizing now, too. So Tuck's like coughing. It's in his eyes. Yeah, he's just like, hey, I hear that.

It'll put some hair on your chest, little dweeb. Okay. And he goes and he sits down and he's just shouting to this other dude that's with him about light guard stuff. Tuck recedes into the fog to escape. He doesn't know where the door is. He, he like, he started coughing. He got disoriented. He slipped a little bit. Uh, his dick touched something on the ground that was furry for some reason. That's fine. It's just, it's a steam bowl. The normal around here. Steam bowl? Oh no!

And then he, he like climbs up and he's like, oh my God, I hope that steam bowl doesn't think I was coming onto it. And then he climbs up and into like the furthest, you know how they're usually tiered steam bombs? Into like the furthest nook, which is also the hottest place. Oh yeah. Oh no. He rises up and you're just going to hide in here and listen. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. So I'm going to, yeah, it's going to, you're going to have to roll to, um, is it spelled Lord to certain realities?

No, this will be a defy danger because you don't want him to notice that you're here. Okay. Seven, 10. Yeah. Fucking air five. Clap. So this is the kind of situation where you have to defy to overcome your obstacle. But I think I'd still, if you really want to learn something, I think I'd like you to, I guess, to certain realities. Yeah. Like I could ask what here is useful or trying to pick out good things out of what he's saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Duty six plus wisdom.

Uh, seven plus one is eight. Cool. So you get one question. What here is useful or valuable to me? Okay. Um, I think that it will be him telling you about the light guard headquarters. You know what I mean? They're like central building, which I'm going to say is in the lower ward. It's at basically the mouth of the walls formed by the cliff face. That was the bay of, uh, the, of the port of McCall. It's kind of almost like a gate house.

Like the exit from the lower ward to the salt flats is like the light guard, uh, cathedral. Oh, so it's kind of like in game of Thrones. Like it's like a castle on a wall sort of thing. Oh, so it's like really big. It's real big. Okay. Big. Yeah. Like the wall. Wall of China, but way thicker and taller. Yeah. And this is like their cathedral as well. Like this is where all like those dudes live and the gin. Yeah. Oh yeah. There's gin in there. There's probably gin that stay there.

Oh, and it's like their services there as well. It also houses most of the light guard. Lots of their armors baked deep in the basement. Yeah. Okay, cool. So what's this place called? Some cool, fiery, lighty name. So it's a fortress. It's the church of the flame. The hearth. Yes. Yes. Oh, sick. Cool. Great name. And the hearth and the, the way that goes through the, through the building to the salt flats. It's called the hearth gate. Yes. One side, it's the tallow gate.

Other side, it's the hearth gate. Fucking right. Cool. Yes. Okay, cool. So yeah, Fathom, who I'm sure everybody can connect this voice with that man. Yeah. Fathom, warrior of the light guard and some say on the wind, right hand man to the torch of McCall. Yeah. Yeah. Personal attendant. Yeah. Adjutant. Is that a word? Yeah. He's just fucking blabbing about his life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, so I started the day off with like 60 crunches, 70 anti crunches, 45 side to side crunches per side. And then I did like the rest of my cool down crunches. Oh, and you know, and by this time, like the first guard was changing out. So like I had to go make sure that this was okay. So he's, he's giving away the schedule of when guards change at the hearth. Oh, cool. And when, when is that? It's like four times a day, basically, um, you know, noon and midnight and then 6 a.m. And 6 p.m.

The other two. Yeah. Yeah. And he says it like that. He's like, you know, there's like one at like midnight and then the other midnight, but like the day one and then the two middle ones. Yeah. Six, both sixes. Yeah. It happens at both sixes too. What a colossal idiot this person is. I love that he's climbed the ranks to second in command of these morons, but he's so strong. Yeah. Uh, and he also gives away like where his room is in the hearth.

Cause he's like, and you know, it's pretty tight cause like I'm pretty high up there, you know, in the emulators, I'm like basically second in command. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, basically. And, uh, it's pretty sick because my chambers overlook and he, he tells you like the palace of the specific family that his room overlooks. Ooh. And he's like, it's like two away from the top floor too. So it's a pretty good view.

What's the name of the family? Uh, Ooh. Oh no. I damn it. So I was trying to think of another arena name and I was like, um, um, what's a good arena name that kind of sounds McCollum? And I was like, so Dell dome. And I was like, wait, his name's dumb. Oh, right. Yeah. Just say so Dell, so Dell, the so Dell family. Yeah. Yeah. The palace of the so Dell family. He's like, yeah, it looks over the so Dell estate and it's like two from the top floor. So it's pretty tight.

Sometimes I can see right into the garden and sometimes there's people sunbathing out there, you know, and pretty sick. He's coughing now on his own. It's pretty sick. Like, Oh man, that stuff really gets your heart pumping. So yeah, anyway, and the guy hasn't, the other dude that he's with hasn't gotten a fucking word in this whole time. The so Dell family are like, they have a tradition that each first son is a vizier to the shop McCall. Throw that in there. Yeah, I like that.

They have a, they're usually viziers to the shop McCall. And I guess the shop probably lives in the lower ward too, right? Uh, yeah. Biggest best estate. Is that like the king or like the mayor? Or something? Yeah, I guess the shot is like, I'm just thinking about like the parts of the city that govern themselves. So the shot would be in charge of the humans.

Like it would be the human government, like the government of like the lower ward and the upper ward, but they're kind of separate from the deep ward, right? Cause the deep ward has the council. Yeah. Yeah. Does he let give any information on how and when he got back and if the torture McCall is back to, uh, no, he doesn't actually bring, bring shit. I gave you a lot, man. Thank you. No, no, I appreciate it. And that's what he says. I gave you a lot, man.

You can't get it all cause he's drinking a protein shake and the guys trying to grab it from like, no man, you had enough. I need to, I need a bulk. I am so interested in this person that is hanging out with him. We cut to Ving. Ving's getting waxed. Yeah. Oh, he's done getting waxed. He's all waxed. Uh, it's a shorn to the, to the day he was born and he is getting his hair straightened. Whoa. Wow. Okay. Holy shit. And he's crying. Oh no. Yeah. He's bawling his eyes out. Why?

He said, I just miss him so much. And the guy's like straight in the hair like, who do you miss? Uh, Cloud Piercer. Oh. Is this your father, son, lover? He was everything to me, man. I have had two, two,! Is this your father, son, lover? He was everything to me, man. I have had people like that in my life as well, young man. He pats your shoulder there, there. Is this okay? That's fine. Thank you. It feels nice to have somebody close again. Were you and Cloud Piercer together long?

I mean, it felt like a lifetime. That's the hot tongs of the straightener touching your hair. Oh, it must stink so much. He is burning a couple of them. My God, patchouli to the max. Oh, man. So, sorry, how long were you together? Uh, it felt like forever, but, you know, it was like three months. I have had relationships like that, yes, it is. People come into your life, they connect to your heart, and then they drift away. I still have dreams about him where I can see through his eyes.

That must be quite heart-wrenching for you. It is. Only when I wake up, though. Isn't that the way? When we wake up from our dreams, we realize reality is the only dream we have. Rose oil? Please. Start scrimping it through your hair. Oh, that smells nice. Is that Nutka Rose? It is Nutka Rose. They exist in this world. Beautiful. I grow them myself in the space between realities. Tell me more. No. Spout low. Tell me about yourself and the world.

Give me a bunch of cool information like, Tuck may be God. It's just very funny that he's like, I bet Tuck's getting information. Give me some information, too. This guy has no frame of reference for who the fuck Tuck is. I know. He doesn't respond to that very well. Is Tuck your father, your son, your new lover? Yes, you could say all of the above as well. I would rather you specify which one it is. I don't like to specify. I'm very unspecified. Look at me. Everybody is everything to me.

I'm looking for a new spirit animal. What are you doing after work? I'm comfortable with this being a thing where you try and get some information. Yeah, where do you live? Do you live down here in the richy, richy yonder world? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I am part of the perfumer's union and I live in Stepside. Ah, beautiful. Stepside's gorgeous. It is, especially during the winter. Really? I haven't seen it wintered yet. Yes, it's quite beautiful.

The water from the water tower is so beautiful. It's so beautiful. It's so beautiful. The water from the water tower is piped up and the plants don't wither quite so quickly under the oppressive sun, so the gardens can become quite lush. Hmm. That sounds darling. I'll have to check it out. Please do. Do you ever, are you a groomsman of the light guard by any chance? Hmm. Have you ever done any work for the light guard people?

Members of the light guard filter in and out of our bathhouse from time to time, yes. I have even had the pleasure of straightening and perfuming the hair of members of the Sedell family, if you can believe it. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yes. The Sedells. The Sedells. One of the most prosperous and politically influential families in McCall. Yes, I heard their son is the vizier to the Shah. A vizier to the soon-to-be Shah and the Shah's regent, yes. Oh, wow.

The current Shah is too young to be the Shah, so there's a regent. Oh, that's cool. And also, I like the idea that the Sedell family will have a boy at around the same time as the Shah will have a boy So they grow up together? So they grow up together and they're like friends. Like the Prince of Egypt. Yeah, basically. Oh, they're forced to be friends. Yeah, and they're like just always together. Yeah. Which, honestly, mitigates the chances of you getting like some kind of snake man vizier.

Yeah. Who, like, traditionally for like generations, it was like, why are all of the viziers so evil? Yeah. And then the Sedell family approached the Shah and he was like, okay, here, I have an idea. What if our sons are just friends? And then the, well, my family line will be the viziers forever. And he was like, all right, that makes sense. That sounds good. Excuse me, your eminence, I cannot help but notice that a snake wizard tried to hypnotize your daughter again.

Did I interest you in some political fortitude? Also, no more parrots. So, yeah, the current Shah and the future, or the, you know, the current Shah and vizier are now, they're currently like 11 years old. Okay. And there's a region in place of the Shah because the old Shah died prematurely before the sun came out. So, the vizier could come of age. Cool. Interesting. Yeah. What? What? I'm, I'm jacked up on this political intrigue. I wonder why he died so early, or she.

And why the vizier survived. Who can say? I, I want to roll something back. I said the first son, it's the first child. First child. Son or daughter. Okay, so who is it right now? The Shah and the vizier. Boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl. Boy, girl. Boy, girl. Yeah. One of each. Shah, vizier? Girl, Shah, boy, vizier. Oh, girl. Yeah. Okay, cool. So, yeah, the current Shah and vizier are 11 years old, and it's, the people say they get along quite swimmingly, as far as anybody knows.

Yeah, and they, and when they are both at 11, it's like a big year for them, and that's when they, if they make it into 1212, then they're gonna make it the whole way. It's kind of a superstitious thing. They have to make it through 1111. Oh, cool. Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. I like that a lot. Yeah, so they're currently still 11. Mm-hmm. Cool. I think there are a lot of superstitions, around the number 11 in McCall. Yeah. There you go. Cool.

There's 11 neighborhoods in the old city, in the upper ward. Ooh. Cool, and the sticks is just a bunch of ones, too, and that's superstitious and weird. Like, it's a stretch, but. Yeah. Candles. Yeah, candles. Match sticks. Yeah. 1111, one Shah, one vizier, 11. Oh, yeah. Twins. The pillars. The pillars, yeah, yeah, yeah. The pillars and the lighthouse. Oh, yeah. And I'm just gonna throw it out there. The original, so there are currently 11, oh, sick.

Yeah, because the, or no, maybe there's 10, and that's why 11 is considered superstitious, because one was destroyed. Oh. And that was like a huge religious thing, but there are 10 remaining jinn that are the original jinn that the god of the flame brought. God, it's a really cool idea. We're so. And then just like, wait, I know something even cooler. We're so good at fantasy. Oh, man. I'm so horny for McCall now. Yeah. Oh, I'm so glad we're here. I'm so glad we're here.

Yeah, we're such virgins, yeah. Hey, what are the rules? Rumors you've heard about the demise of the former Sean Vizier. Ooh. What have you heard? Yeah, I guess roll it. Spout Lore. Spout Lore, 2d6 plus intelligence. Wisdom. Wisdom. Fuck, right, because it's historical. Seven. Seven, great. So interesting, but not useful.

He gets very quiet, and he leans in a little bit and takes on again an almost conspiratorial tone and says that, I mean, the events surrounding the death of the Shah are quite mysterious, not spoken of quite as openly as other deaths, but a member of the Vizier's household told me that when the Shah was found in his chambers dead, that he was not alone. Too dead? Too dead. Well, who was he with? I dare not say more. I dare not say more.

He, like, bows and puts his hand up, like, oh, my fine client, I cannot possibly say anymore. Who cares? It's been most entertaining. Thank you for your candor. Thank you for your time. And my bouffant, my straight bouffant and my smelly hair. If you require any more rose oils, do not hesitate to return to the Summer Flower Bathhouse and Spa. I have been Uban. Uban, I am Ving. Good day, Ving. Good day. That was a wonderful interaction. Yeah. Just wonderful role-playing. Just from both of you.

And we cut back to Billy and Kat. Yeah. Cash has got his hands on his head and Billy is still talking. Oh, can Billy be eating one of his cucumbers? Yeah. He's got, casually has one cucumber on his eye. Billy's eating the other one. Yeah. And in fact, the staff have brought me a bowl of cucumbers. Yeah. So, I mean, it's hard because it's just like, I didn't know it was that hot here and I don't know how to, like, deal with it.

So, like, I mean, I get, like, I get why you're so mad about me being in the icebox all the time. But I don't know where else to go. And, you know, my face is already so red. I'm so fat. But, you know, everyone here is really fit, it seems. And I don't want to show off how not fit I am. Show off. And, you know, and so that's why I have to wear my sweaters and stuff. And, and so I just wish you weren't so mad at me. Like, I made you a good lunch and you didn't even take it.

You're absolutely right. Yeah. You're absolutely right. And you know what? I will say this. What? I did eat the lunch when I got home. It was really good. Thank you. It was really good. I stole it from the bakery a few blocks away. Oh, my God. Billy. He ruins everything. Oh. What? I steal everything from there. Cinder and flames, Billy. Do you have a headache? Do you want a head rub? I do have a headache and I would hate nothing more than a head rub right now. But I'll tell you this.

I'll tell you this, Billy. Look, I'm sorry. I've, I just had a rough day. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be this short with you. And you know what? My dad, large as the day is long, there are plenty of people in McCall that are, that are big. Really? And you know what? I'll tell you this. You know what the secret is? What? Bright flowing fabrics. That's it. Really? That's it. They don't trap the heat. The breeze moves in and out. I've had this thick wool sweater forever and the raccoon cape.

I don't really know what, like nothing usually fits me. So I don't, I don't know where else to go. Okay. I might know somebody. I can get something made for you. It'll, it'll make the days a little bit cooler for you. Okay. Is that going to help? Yes. Thank you. Are you going to stop sleeping in the icebox? I guess I could get my own icebox. Yeah. That's a thought. I guess you won't be alone right now, don't you? You don't have to leave. But I'm not going to talk anymore. Okay.

I'll just eat my cucumbers. And he reaches over and he plucks a cucumber out of the bowl and he puts it over his eye and he reaches over and he grabs another one and he puts it in his mouth. Okay. And he lays back in the mud. I swim as best I can over to the concierge of the mud bath and I'm like, can I have a lemonade? Of course, young master. And they scuttle away. And I guess we'll just cut back to Tuck. I'm passed out. Oh, no.

I have passed out due to heat stroke and also the, like, vaporized gasoline that's in the air. Oh, God. So you come to, you're being shaken. Sir. Yeah, what? Sir? Hey. Sir. Oh, my God. There's just a spa attendant. Alec, is that you? No. Sir, you… The women of Spoutlor. The women of Spoutlor, you've returned to me. All three or four of you? I can't remember. Oh, my God. Help me. You woke up from the FATM night again, where he steals all the women in your life away.

And, but then, but there was one more. It was Farrah. Farrah. It was Farrah. Farrah, she's here. Oh, my God. Farrah, is that you? She's so taut. But you're fucking my uncle. No. Great. So you're shaken awake by a spa attendant. Oh, my God. Sir, you should not sleep in here. I can't. Okay. Do you need any medical attention? No. Can I get water, please? Yeah, absolutely. I would be glad to give you some water once we leave the steam room. Okay. We're closing. Okay. Okay. He gets out.

Good night, sir. Okay. There'll be some water at the front. I look for these guys. They're in the front area. Yeah. We're all just waiting. You guys don't recognize Ving until he whips around with his long hair. Ooh, it's flowing. It's like a sheet of silk. It's like down to his knees. Ving! I know. What the fuck, huh? Oh, you look so elegant. Thank you, Billy. Oh, my God. Where did your bag eyes go? They're gone. Really? Yeah. Oh. You look so youthful. You look eight and a half. Thank you.

You only look like a million years old. Oh, thank you. Jessica's squishing her own face into the wall. Thank you. You also look not a million years old. Thank you, Billy. We should do this more often. Tuck stumbles into the waiting room. You look like shit. So, like, has heat stroke for sure. Oh, no. He's got a cup of water with, like, some cucumber in it that's half full, but not because he's drinking it. It's just, like, all sloshed around.

And he looks at Ving and he's like, hey, you want to be one of the women of Spelt Lord? Want to tux, ladies? Oh, my God, buddy. Put it away. Oh, my God, Ving. Holy shit. Hey, man. Tuck's still wearing a spa towel around his waist, which covers more than his loincloth usually does. Tuck's really wrestling with the fact that he might be sexually attracted to his friend. Hey. Sometimes that happens to people, right? You're like, well, I guess this is going on in my brain now. Yeah.

You're so smooth and ripped now. Jeez Louise. Yeah, and I guess you guys just head home, right? Catch a tram, head home? I guess so. Yeah. Okay. And it is pretty late, probably, like, midnight, early a.m. Yeah, like 1 a.m. Yeah. Totally. Okay. You get off the tram, which is not terribly close to your neighborhood in Cliffside slash Stepside. The mids, as they call it, because it's kind of in between the two. Yeah. And as you're getting close to your building, something seems off. Hold on, guys.

My senses are tingling. So what are you rolling? What are you rolling? What are you rolling? Crap expert. Okay. Fuck me. Doesn't matter. I rolled a three, and plus, even my highest would have been five. You know, on second thought, never mind, forget it. Everything seems fine. You get into your apartment. Yeah, and you just go to sleep, I guess, right? Day ends. Yeah. Great. Much needed. Okay, so what's your plan for, yeah, the day? It's like the weekend. Yeah.

However the day structure works in McCall, it's the weekend. It's the weekend. It's the weekend. Cash is actually sleeping in. Like, he's still asleep. He's trying. Yeah, we're in the living room. I think we maybe should have a chat about what we should do next. Yeah, I'm like laying on the floor with the fairy book open. Are you reading it? Yeah, I'm just like rifling through it. Anything cool? Yeah, give me three lines written by this winter fairy about his first trip to like Oh, shit.

The material world. It was cold, but I did not feel it. It did not touch my soul. And when I woke, I lay beneath a blanket of snow. That's sick. That's cool. Okay, cool. Yeah, so Billy's just sitting cross-legged crisscross applesauce on the floor of the apartment reading a book. Tuck comes in from the bedroom sits down on the couch and where's Vang? I'm doing push-ups, dips. Tuck's trying not to fall. I'm trying to get distracted. Wow, this is becoming my butt. What is happening?

This is becoming a thing. I don't know why this is where Tuck's head keeps going. This is gonna become a thing. I'm into this. It's not. I think it's something else. Ving rolls over and starts doing cat-cows. Oh, wow. That's the bow back. Bent back. That doesn't do anything for Tuck. Back to the dips. Yeah, it doesn't do anything for Tuck? I think Tuck just really loves muscles. Okay, yeah, that checks out. He loves lumps. I like the right kind of lumps wherever they might be.

So what are you guys talking about? Tuck fills them in on everything he learned from Fatim. Yeah. Ditto with Ving. Oh, my God. That's crazy, you guys. Yeah. I didn't learn anything except where the bookworm might go. Where's that? It's bookworm heaven. Oh. To the great lawn beyond. You mean like where the baklava goes? Yeah, to the great bakery beyond.

And I should say, while you're sitting there and Billy's sitting on the floor reading, you can see Oman kind of creeping through Billy's hair, just like inchworming across his head. Nice. Should we try and see if we can talk to somebody in the, I forget the name, sorry, the family? Oh, the Siddell family? Siddell family? Could be useful, but they don't, they won't necessarily have a way to help you get into the hearth.

Okay, if I were you all, my first step would be get as much information as possible before exposing myself to the combined might of the light guard. Oh, duh. Don't just rush in. Would be what I would not do. Not rush in. Should we, should we talk to Perel? See what he's learned? Go over for breakfast. It's a weekend. That's true. Or Kevin. I haven't seen Kevin in two days. Oh yeah, little scoundrels. Oh yeah, the urchins might have a way into the hearth that we don't know about. That's true.

Maybe we split up. Like, there might be someone that either of us know that knows, like, sort of, info about the light guard, what they've been doing in the city. And Kevin might know how to get into the hearth. So if today was like knowledge gathering day. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Low stakes. But sneaky. Okay. What I was thinking is maybe going to talk to Greg at bar to see if he knows anything. Like, if he's heard what the light guard is doing. Perfect. So what are you, what's Bing trying to do?

There's, he's going to go talk to the lunar moths. He's been making friends with the lunar moths because he's been out at night and the lunar moths are attracted to flame, which means they go around the flame and they are always there at night. They're these huge, they're massive. Moths that like flap around the hearth. Oh shit. And they're enemies. Well, the light guard doesn't like them because the bullies who are on guard, they'll shoot like slingshots at them and stuff.

And lunar moths are big enough that if they get close to a flame, they usually just put it out, which is more of a pain than anything else. And maybe they, because they put flames out, they're just seen as like kind of, ooh, it's kind of like, sacrilegious. Yeah, totally. Totally. When one gets in a, an open window, fool boy. Yeah, it's like, they're not like demons or anything, but like, they're called devil birds. Yeah, that's what the light guard calls it.

And it's, it's kind of like how Muslims see like pigs is like unclean. Oh yeah. Yeah, totally. They're seen as evil because they blow lights out. Yeah. Huh. They kind of consume, like, that's what they're seen as. They see it as consuming the lights. Okay, great. Yeah, that's perfect. So, um, I mean, Kevin sounds like the most present one. So maybe we'll start with Billy. Okay. Do you want to do like your connections thing? Yeah, I think so.

Hey guys, I'm going to go for a walk and see Beth and Kevin. All right. Okay. Holy shit. 10. 10. All right. Sweet. On a 10 plus, someone has it just for you. Okay. So, yeah, Billy goes outside. He's got his little backpack with snacks in the book and his blue blanket. Um, he's still got his sweater and stuff, but he did shed the raccoon skin because he's like, I should just embrace my body.

And before, as he's running out, we're like, Billy, and we stop him and we grab him by the backpack and we shove like an extra water bottle in there. Oh, thank you. Just because he always forgets to bring water. He comes back so dehydrated. Yeah. Drink water. You're right. Thank you guys. I'll see you in a few hours. Okay. So Billy heads off to meet Kevin and Beth. Where is he meeting them today? Yeah, it's like brunch hour.

So he actually goes more to like step side because he knows that's where Kevin and Beth will be on a Saturday morning. He just goes down an alleyway behind like a hipster brunch place and he finds them hanging out on the dumpster. Oh, you come up with a name for that. Oh yeah. The hipster breakfast joint is called oof. Like, oh yeah. French for eggs. Oh, oh, F. Yeah. Oof. Oof. French exists in this world. Yeah, but it's overseas. So it's like all the cool kids are like, I've been overseas. Yeah.

I've been to vert grass. Oh, right. Yeah. Because it's French. Yeah, true. Oh, it already exists. Yeah. Um, so he goes to the dumpsters behind oof and finds Beth and, and Kevin eating some leftovers because everyone wastes so much food. Yeah, they're eating a bunch of eggs Benedict that they found in a pile and they're playing this little game with like chips, a piece of rock that they just flick at other rocks, basically. Hey, hey, Billy, Billy, we found a bunch of eggs. Yeah, nice.

And so excited. And Bethany's like, yeah, look at this one. It's like mostly whole. Oh my God. Can I have this one? Oh yeah, you can have that one. Really? Yeah, I already ate like too many. You ate too many? Okay. Too many. Whoa. And it's like poached so nicely too. Yeah. Can you believe rich people just throw this stuff away? I can't believe it. Honestly. Do you think they have any granola bowls left? Oh, let's see. Yeah. And she flips up in a garbage can and dives inside. Sweet.

So you want to play and he holds out his hand. He's got some pieces of rock. Oh man. Yeah, I could play for a bit, but I mostly had to ask you another question. What is it? I'm just wondering like if you guys know of a way to get into the hearth. The hearth? Yeah. The place where the white God live? Yeah. First, you want to get into Wiboy, then you want to get into Hoff. What are you doing, Billy? We're trying to help one of our friends. He lost, he lost his memory kind of.

I don't know how to explain it, but he, he needs some help and he hasn't been able to fix himself. Lost his memory. That's really sad. Yeah, he's really sad. He eats a lot of those like cheap sandwiches. Cheap sandwiches. That's too much. Yeah. The equivalent of the gas station hoagie. Yeah. You know, the ones like we eat them a lot, but if you're grown up, it's kind of sad if you eat them all the time. Yeah. Yeah, that's pathetic. And he picks up a poached egg and slams it into his mouth. Yeah.

That's disgusting. It is disgusting. I just like fistful like a bunch of like old Kiwis and fruit garnishes. And Bethany pops out of the garbage can with like two handfuls of granola like jackpot. Oh, nice. Thanks, Bethany. And she just tumbles out and climbs up next to you guys. Hey, Bethany. Yeah. I just asked Kevin, but have you ever been into the hearth or do you know a way in? Oh, I've never been in the hearth, but like there have been kids that have gone. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

There's a kid, Tobe. He said that he went and he said that he that he saw a boob when he went, but we don't believe him. A boob? A boob on a girl. Oh. Yeah. I don't believe him, though. Yeah, I don't believe him either. But there was this other kid. His name was Reb. It could be like the list of kids that actually definitely did get in. It's like one-eyed Reb. There's one-handed. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's one kid called Lucky. Nothing. He's fine. Yeah. Lucky.

He just lost two legs. And there's no then there's also no leg Reg. I don't know why he's not lucky, but. Oh, man. Yeah. And I guess the story that we always hear is that if a kid did get in, it's because they hopped inside a cart or something that was like going to the hearth for like supplies like every once in a while. Sometimes a centaur goes and takes in a bunch of stuff. Yeah. Like, you know, like clothes and foods like breads and foods like like fruits and stuff like that. Hmm. OK.

So do you know where the bread's from? The bread. I know where the bread is from. The bread is from a bakery. We in Cliffside and it's really good bread. So the white guys like, hmm. OK. I love your bread. I'll pay you more for it. Oh, that's smart. The bread bread people. Yeah. OK. Is it always the same center? No, but a centaur is like a big it's like a it's like a camel with a fat guy on it. But there's no wags on the fat guy. He only has camel legs. I know what a centaur is, Kevin.

My one time my aunt, she dated a centaur. He was really nice. He always had cool toys for me. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. He was really nice. He was really loud, though. Yeah. It hurt my ears sometimes. Kevin's losing focus. It's like he's thinking about centaurs. Kids this age can stay on task for maybe three minutes. Yeah. Have you ever seen like a centaur one like looks like this? He hops down on the ground and he's kicking his legs out in front of him. Really weird.

Have you ever seen him one day one like this? No. It's just not like that. No. Have you ever seen a camel run? Yeah. Fucking stupid. And that's how centaurs run. But there's a big guy huffing and puffing on top of it, making the sound of a camel like. So Jessica asking Sean, I'm probably not going to get more info of them than this. It's that if there has if there has ever been an effective way to sneak into the hearth, it's with a shipment of supplies.

But you would never do that because you don't want to get your arms chopped off like no arm. No, I definitely want to keep my arms and legs and hands and feet and face. Yeah. Because how are you going to get like more of the food if you don't have hands to steal it with? I think about that a lot. Do you want to one like a centaur with me? Yeah, I do. And Bethany hops down to and they just start running kicking their legs in front of these three spastic kids behind this fucking brunch restaurant.

I take a sip of water though. First, my dad's told me remember drink my water. These guys sound really nice. It's nice. You call them your dad. Yeah, they're not really my dad's, but like they kind of are in my heart. We know how that is. Yeah, we know how that is. All right, let's go run. Okay, let's one and they just run off down an alleyway. Billy's running like a like a centaur is really accurate. Yeah, it's just my regular run. Way up you guys and we'll cut to tuck going to bar.

Yeah, tuck is like he just walks in because it's like daytime. So they're doing like inventory and reloading and stuff and they're touched by the darkness came back last night and it was a pretty wild because one of them is a demon. I think that's the rumor. Yeah, and they're reconstructing the stage. It was ruined. Yeah. So Greg is downstairs in bar because it is like an underground thing, right? Yeah. Yeah.

So he's downstairs and he's got a clipboard and he's marking things off as people move around huge casks of ale. And spirits and all that and I go up to him. Hey, talk. What's up? You're not working till tonight. Yeah, no, I'm not. I actually I came because I have some questions about the city. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a lot different than when I left. Yeah, it is. It's been it's been quite a few years. What is fucking going on with the light guard? Oh, man.

Don't get me started on the GD light guard. Like I've been hearing a lot of weird stuff. Like I heard that the light guard is more militant. Around demons like that. The torch of McCall assigned the last prophet that the last shot was maybe assassinated. Well, whoa. I haven't heard that. That's a man. Keep me out of that. Keep me out of that shit. Yeah, it's been a pretty intense couple decades.

You know, at first when the light guard started getting more intense, people were like, ah, this is great. Like you notice don't see many afraid around at night anymore, right? Yeah. You see some, but not a ton. Yeah. Light guard. Okay. But you'll also notice that you see a lot of weird posters around on like, is your neighbor a demon and all these stupid drawings about demons. Yeah. Light guard. Fuck. Yeah.

And he does this gesture that's sort of like the up yours kind of gesture, but it's the index finger and the pinky finger up and he kind of jams them up. That torch is a real piece of work. Is he back in the city? That's what I hear. And so, yeah, I lean into Greg and I kind of whisper because there's people around and I'm like, I heard that the torch ran into some trouble a few months back and the purifier got fucked to D six plus. I would say this is charisma.

It's kind of a spell Lord, but it would be more charisma based. Yeah. So two to six plus charisma. It's 10. Okay. Wow. He leans in as well and takes on a somewhat conspiratorial tone. There's a lot of people. There's a lot of conspiratorial tones in McCall. There's a lot of conspiracies in McCall. There's a lot of people scheming. Yeah. It's also McCall is also known as the city of sand and secrets. Wow. And he leans in.

Greg leans in and you see his really carved elaborately carved tusks sticking out of his mouth. It's got like a naked lady on it. It's got like a naked dude on it. And then it also says get fucked. Whoa. That's pretty cool too. In his head tucks like man, this guy's the coolest person. And yeah, you get really close and he's like, all right way. I heard it torch put out to see the purifier go to some bullshit somewhere like I give a fuck.

But he came back tail tucked between his goddamn legs half his boat gone and I mean half like right down the middle half, but he still sailed out of it home. Say what you will about the torture McCall, but he is one crazy motherfucker. You ever hear about him? Keeping demons as slaves. He like spits. Come on. I mean the torch is the torch. He's he's put some pretty intense individuals to the flame, but you think he can chain demons that don't want to be chained. Come on man. Come on. Come on.

Come on. You see me. She saw me try to tell the lead singer a touch by the darkness that he couldn't stay at the hotel. He wanted to stay at what happened. What do you do? I mean, we almost put me through a wall. Okay, fine. Okay, and that was me just telling them. No. Okay, you're not not thinking of getting mixed up with the light guard. Are you? Oh, no. No, I I'm writing a song about the torch of McCall called a torch. I'm a torch of McCall me. Maybe Jesus Christ. You want to put that in?

Yeah, man. There's never something that I have wanted cut more that I've been more sure will remain. I fucking love it. I want I'm I demand that you write it. It's called the torch of McCall me before you go go. It's just like amazing cause. I don't know. It's a torch of McCall me by your name. It's it's called. I just torch of McCall to say I love you. Yeah, my favorite play is torch of McCall of the while. There's got to be more.

I'm gonna I'm not gonna have time because I just got the new copy of torch of McCall of Duty Black Ops. Yeah, well, okay. I just hope you know the light guard. I hate him just as much as anybody else as any other self-respecting work would but you know, they're dangerous, right? Yeah, I obviously yeah, I come on. I grew up in the sticks. I know the light guard are our friends. All right.

Well, if you do get the inkling to get mixed up and fuck around with the light guard at all and he leans in even closer and gets really close to your you come give me a call. Oh, okay, and he goes and starts writing stuff down on his his board goes. God that goes over here. That's supposed to be room temperature. That's supposed to be cold and he walks away. Cool. Cool and we'll cut to Paul. Yeah, I'm sorry video.

I'm playing a game with my friend sitting here having a coffee in a bubbly cut to say my balls off cut to being the half-elf druid just rolled a failure on a thing that he did not specify. All right. So what do you what's being trying to do? Ving is going to go to the there's a bunch of crevasses and they're dried up waterfalls that come from the I'm so bad with the names of all these what's the upper layer? Oh, the upper ward. Why not? That's so easy.

So from the acoly desert into the upper ward there was old waterfalls like geologically millennia ago. Oh cool and the lunar moths sleep in the crevices created there in the daytime because there's no Sun that gets in there. Oh so sick awesome. So he's going in to he's going out free climbing. I guess he's gonna try and go 127 hours later kind of style fucking Alex Honnold over here. That's so nothing bad happens didn't tell anyone where I was going.

So he goes in to talk to the lunar moths and finds them there. Cool. I mean, yeah there you climb down in the crevasse you leave the the burning Sun of the late afternoon because we're doing this over like a whole yeah. Yeah. Situation. It actually takes a while to get to where these waterfalls used to be. Well, I found a bunch of desert sage on the way. I'm gonna write that down. Okay, you can have it.

Yeah, so you climb your way down into these old dark eroded crevasses and you're like is this the right is the right place? I can't really see and your night vision adjusts. It's just wall to wall lunar moths and a big one comes like boom this all of a sudden again just as his vision like gets used to the dark and he notices he's in this thing all of a sudden there's big pair of eyes right in front of his face and a big lunar moth like flexes its wings out and there's looks like eyeballs.

Holy shit. Cool. What do they sound like you tell me you're the soft soft. Hello visitor. Welcome to our sanctum. Hello. I'm thinking super spirit Walker. A forest and frost Prince of the boreal reach a fellow royalty and it inclines its head. You're most welcome. Thank you. We've heard much of the spirit Walker upon the winds between here and there. I come with a request and a gift. What is your name? Moonshadow Moonshadow. You are a strong and beautiful moth. Thank you. You are so hot.

Uh uh uh. Stop. I feel like you're working out. What do you bring for me? I bring you a request from me. Well, I mean you said you had a gift. Did you want the gift first? That is how it is done. You ingratiate yourself to your host. I'm just going to give it to you at the end. Okay. Well, I mean we can do whatever is convenient if it's like deep in your bag. No, no, no. No, it's good. I don't want to fuck with your customs. I insist. I'm in you. I insist. Flap wings out. I insist.

I have a request wings fold up. What is your request? I need information on the light. Good. All through the cave all them. The light guard keepers of the flame. If I had saliva glands, I would do the same. Allow me to spit for you, please. Sorry. Gross. I'm dry. I've been the head desert. I don't want to get home. I'm writing checks that my throat can't catch. We need information of the comings and the goings and times. When we can we need enter. We want to bring them down.

This would please us. Then the flames would be kept by those that care for the most. It's very intimidating when you all do that. Same. As is the way you are going to have to roll something. Get great. I guess it's probably. Oh, no, it would be a parlay because you're offering gift. Yeah, great. 2d6 plus charisma. Oh, you got 10 plus. My charisma is 11. Hell. Yes. I'm going to go present the gift. My gift. My gift to you. And then he tears away his pants. These are 100% merino wool.

The golden fleas. Honey thread. And moon shadow reaches forward with the little grippers that ma that ma has. Yeah, that we all know they have and grabs the wool and goes like puts it in its mouth and eats a bunch of it. That is for your whole tribe. We will feast this night and tomorrow upon the honey thread. Very well. Allow me to share with you some information regular stuff. Not going to do this whole thing is moon shadow. All I need from you. All I need from you is to allow me to mark you.

I'm not going to do it. Sneaky bitch. I don't want to do it. I could have just stuck in here when you were asleep, but I wanted to ask permission out of respect to you and your horde. What a smart fucking move that was. I love this moon shadow dips down and extends its wings in a very bowing sort of thing. A very pleasant. Pleasant gesture and tips its head forward. It's too like huge frond antenna hanging on either side of you and says, Mark me as you will. I will act as your eyes.

Yeah, just bend down and and a kiss the top of his head. So dusty. Wow, that dust. It's not like a it's not like a myth. You're really dusty. He's about to kiss him on the head and then he sneezes in his face. Yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry. Droplets will work. Do not apologize. I will act as your eyes folds his wings back up. I hope to see you guys soon. You will see through me soon. Bye bye. Back flip back flip back. And then walks back into the desert with no pants. Dick hanging out.

Sun beaming vultures circling didn't think this through walking back. I can't believe I sneezed and spit all over that moth using up the last of my moisture. So it's the sort of thing like you for Billy when you came back from meeting Kevin and Bethany after your centaur game. You saw Perel at the cafe across the street. He was like, hey, why don't you come join me? Oh, sure. Yeah. Hi, Perel. Hi, Billy. How was your day? It was good. How's yours? I am. I feel alive, Billy. Yay.

I feel alive for the first time in a long time. That's good. Mm hmm. And you pass the time eating these shitty sandwiches. Tuck shows up. He's like, hey, come on. Why don't you join me? Yeah. Tuck sits down and kind of like relays the information that he got. And he does the same thing. I've got these notes. I think I'm making some headway on some ideas, etc. Ving shows up. The sun starts to come down. Yeah. Rooftop jumping in. Rooftop jumping on. And you guys are having a great time.

And then the sun goes down. You're just kind of chatting. It's a really nice time that you're having. You feel like you're moving towards something. You're having a nice meal with your friends. Perel has recently taken a smoking hookah. So like there's a hookah sitting next to him. There's like a nice like cloud of like herbal, fruity smelling smoke. Yeah. It's kind of like lemon. Yeah. Totally. You're all sitting around just chatting, having a ball. Perel smoking his hookah.

And then he takes a big, big inhale. He goes, wait, shut up. I'm not. We weren't saying anything. Shut up. Yeah. You said shut up. Shut up. You said. Shut up. Any points at your apartment. And we look up. And through the windows, though the lights are off because you're not there, you can see forms moving in the shadows. What? And the small glimmering light of a hooded sunstone. Someone's in our fucking house. And that's where we're going to end it for this week.

I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, plainly, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian Abdulaziz. So long. Playing Bing, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Loppers. Take care. Playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. I'm going to beat him up. Thanks to Aaron Reid for our incredible ins and outs. That's what I've started calling them. The ins and outs. The IO, baby. We'll work on it. And thanks to our amazing supporters from around the world.

You can find us online at Spout Lore in most places, including patreon.com slash speltlore and speltlore.com slash money, please. Catch you next time, everybody. Bye. Bye.

And so ends the tale of adventures three Who tried the best they can the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly spout more

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your game master Sean O'Hara Joining me as always playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hello Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers Hi there And playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz Hello That was me giving Abdul enough time to get back into his chair I had to put my phone away When last we left our heroes The party, to blow off some steam, visited the Summer Flower Bath House in the Lower Ward Everybody had a wonderful time Until Fatum of the Light Guard ended up in the same steam room that Tuck was hanging out in Yes Everybody got a variety of information We learned some inside baseball about McCall's political situation Right, from the hairdresser that we had Yeah, they won't shut up Yeah Tuck learned some stuff about Fatum and where he lives in the tower of the hearth And how often the guard changes are Yeah Then he passed out because of the gasoline That Fatum wears aerosolized in the steam room Yeah And then there was a bit of a fact-finding mission Billy went to go talk to his friends Who explained that there is a centaur trading company that delivers bread to the hearth And Ving went to go talk to a bunch of giant moths Marking their alpha, the alpha moth Yeah Moonshadow Top moth Moth daddy And getting him to agree to check out the hearth Which Ving will observe through the eyes of the moth And where we ended was the party having a nice kind of friendly dinner with Perel outside his apartment at the cafe that he lives under And where we actually left off was Billy seeing that there is a light within the dark confines of your apartment building Someone has infiltrated your apartment building And someone has infiltrated your home That's where we are right now Tuck's just like, fuck, there's someone in our house And I kick over Perel's hookah And I try to parkour up into the window Can I roll for that?

You absolutely can But I just want to be 100% clear that your decision for confronting intruders is to scream and charge at your house Oh, I'll take the back entrance so there's no escape route Oh, I'll take the back entrance so there's no escape route Yeah Okay I'm going to the roof Alright, I guess everybody's rolling So, okay, we'll start with Tuck You describe you're trying to parkour into your window Yeah, we're across the street at the cafe, right?

Yep I see like there's a cart in front of our building with a bunch of fucking turnips in it So I'm gonna run, jump onto the cart, and then try and make it to the window And when you jump on the one side of the cart, I'll jump on the other side of the cart, thus catapulting you up Yeah, trampoline double jump style Trampoline double jump style Okay, so defy danger I noticed that you said jumping hard Hard So you could use strength Strength Instead of dexterity I persevere through the jump constitution I charm my legs into jumping Yeah, 2d6 plus strength Okay 10 Okay Yeah Nice So, yeah, Billy, what's Billy doing?

Billy grabs two falafels off his plate as energy and weapon And he runs to the back door Okay, 2d6 plus strength Okay, 2d6 plus dexterity Um, 12 Damn, all right So, Billy does a little Are you climbing into the apartment?

Yeah, so fast and sneaky And then I hide just in the shadow All right, so Ving There's a bunch of mosquitoes fluttering around the torches that are lit And there's bats circling them and eating the mosquitoes And I'm gonna use my new move, light as a feather, to jump across the backs of bats onto the roof Oh, that's fucking sick Okay 10 Can you read the rules of light as a feather?

When you run across a surface that cannot hold your weight, a fucking bat, roll plus dex On 10 plus, you actually do it, gracefully and without trouble Fuck You don't need to know the rest No Because I've nailed it You do it So, what does this look like?

I land on a bat and they're very quick, still moving So, they kind of like, it looks like ice capades Yeah You know, quick Next one, next one, next one But twirling, landing, and it does its flight I'm gonna do it You're landing and it does its flurry thing and it go into the next bat, bat, bat, bat, bat, bat onto the roof Okay, you all do this You all burst into the apartment at the exact same time Well, Billy doesn't burst I guess Tuck probably is the only one that bursts Yeah, he actually hit, when he jumped the cart, he felt the axles both break And then he hit the edge So, you have a balcony, I've said, there's a balcony outside Okay Like, it goes to stairs So, you basically just tumbled over the balcony What?

Into your window And in his head, when he stands up, he's like, fuck, I wish people saw that one And you see inside, you see a light and a small lantern with like most of the shutters closed But you see the slits of light coming through the shutters, illuminating the faces of three youths I'm gonna just throw my ax at them, that's my instinct Whoa But I'm gonna throw my ax at the lamp to smash it Whoa So, everything goes dark Okay Do any of us have night sight?

No, I have light sight Oh, fuck Well, Tuck's doing this Wow Quick, turn the lights on Okay, 2d6 plus strength, I guess No dexterity, because you're trying to hit a specific thing Ten Fuck, okay So, you're trying to hit the lamp Yeah I see the thief's lamp and I'm like, you're in my house!

And I throw a TLC at the thief's lamp And you amazingly thread the needle between two of the youths and smash the lamp right up to them And you smash the lamp right out of the hand of one of them The ax carries on through the lamp and sticks itself in the stone wall in the back of your apartment Into Cash's favorite poster Yeah And smashes a huge hole in the wall, but stays in the wall And you just hear them go, whoa! Are you guys in there?

Yeah I came in through the, like, just the door of the apartment And I'm like, who's there? And it's all dark Yeah, it's pitch black, unless one of you turns a light on You can't see anything Ving comes down through the ceiling and flicks the light on with his shoulder But so that he's, he's got his arms crossed and he's leaning against the thing and he lights up And he says, what's up, fellas?

There's three people, young, dressed like ruffians, knives at their belts One is just holding the handle of a lantern And they scatter They're basically gonna run further into your apartment Like, they're gonna run in the direction of you Like, they're gonna run in the direction that you guys aren't Okay So they're trying to run away, what do you do?

Gonna throw the falafels Okay I don't know, like, I'm gonna chase them and throw it Yeah To try to stop them Billy's got a halfling, bro 2d6 plus dexterity Seven, oh my god, wow Nice Alright, again, because it wasn't a full success You hit the one with the handle in the hand that was, like, running ahead of them And then the one in the front tumbles to the ground And the one that was immediately behind him tumbles over him So they're, like, tangled up in the doorway But the one in the back leaps over the two of them and keeps running Where is he going?

I think he takes just, like, the first open door Which you know is the bathroom Did he close the door behind him? Yeah, that's pretty funny If he, like, runs into the bathroom and slams the door, tries to lock it What do you do?

There's no other way into the bathroom I was trying to picture the layout There's the window, I guess Outside Yeah Oh, man, I'll go back up through the roof Give me a defy danger dexterity to make it there Ten Yeah, so you do some real Ving martial arts shit Quick up the ladder onto the roof Like, leap towards the edge, grab the edge of the roof, swing down Into the window You kick him basically right in the face back through the window Yeah Because he was halfway through I love it And now you're in a bathroom with this youth that's been kicked over Billy and Tuck, what are you doing with the two that have tangled up in the living room?

I run over and I dogpile on them I jump on them Okay, again, I'm gonna say dexterity to get there fast enough that they don't have time Okay Six I'll help How's Billy helping? I don't know I'm slapping so much Amazing Eleven Yeah, I'm slapping them I'm mad and I'm like, how dare you?

Like, just walk into someone else's house Every time they try and get up No Get down No Make me waste my favorite falafel I've jumped on them so they can't get up Okay It's getting squished and slapped Incredible So And I'm sitting on the guy in the bathtub Okay And they're just, you know, they're giving you the usual, get off me, get out, leave me alone, get off me What's your name? What are you doing here? I'm not telling you anything You're not?

No I start putting his head in the toilet No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no It's not, I haven't flushed this in a week Oh, no, please I'm sorry, it's just What are you doing here? It's just a job, it's just a job If you tell me what you're doing here, I might let you go Yeah, roll a 26 plus charisma Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, okay? Okay Six Fail So what the kid says is he's like, I'm sorry, we were just supposed to distract you From what? Why?

For her And he points through the window and you can see across the alley on the roof of the building behind your apartment, silhouetted against the moon You see a very lean figure standing with your spear And then she jumps up in the air and goes behind the building and is gone What? My harpoon What? What the fuck? I flushed the toilet with his face in it You son of a bitch All right, tuck in, Billy, what are you doing? I'm slapping them Who are you? What's your name?

Ow, ow I'm not telling you my name, kid Tell me now All right, 26 plus charisma Seven Oh, great Yeah, I'll tell you my name My name's Umil Yeah, okay, why did you pause so long? Because I'm not telling you my name What are you doing here?

I'll stab you with this Oh my god Whoa, Billy, hey, hey Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa I'd separate them Billy, no They're in our house I know, but look at them They're losers Yeah, even better reason to do this No Whoa I'm like holding Billy back He's going nuts like a little fucking crazy joe He's swinging his knife around I'm just threatening I'm waving it around mostly Come here, come here So yeah, I've grabbed him and I'm like, you guys better fucking tell us what you're doing here Or I'm gonna let this psycho go And he'll fucking tear through your schnards I have perfect aim, you don't wanna try me Okay, Tuck, you roll a no 2d6 plus charisma There's a 10 12 All right Okay, all right, okay, okay We're just doing a job That's it, we're doing a job, okay?

What was the job? You guys might have met some friends of ours You might have punched him in the face Climbed over a wall, cut a big hole in the ground Are you guys the Jackals? Fuck yeah, we're Jackals, bro You think you can just walk in there and start knocking shit over And no one's gonna come and find out what you're doing? I come out of the bathroom These little fuckers were just distracting us While somebody took my spear What else did they take? I think… Who took your spear?

My spear is gone I don't know, some woman was silhouetted by the moon She took your spear? Yeah Well, that wasn't the job I'll tell you that much Where's my spear? Hey, I don't know what her deal is She's a contractor She's not even part of our gang What's her name? I'm not telling you that I come up with my knife Let me go, Tom Let me go I let Billy go Oh my god Yeah, let him go Okay, this is definitely…

This is charisma too, but in a different way Yeah I hold the point of my knife at his tiny little Adam's apple Fuck Oh god Yeah With charisma? Charisma Twelve The one that has been doing the most talking is like Okay, okay, okay, we don't know her name We just… They just… They call her the Garden Snake That's all I know, okay? What a stupid name Garden Snake That's all…

She's a thief for hire That's it Somebody wanted you guys checked out They wanted us to go provide support They wanted the Garden Snake to come in here and learn whatever she could Who wanted us checked out? What was their name? Our boss What's their name? What, you guys never heard of Jake the Jackal? No Yeah, we all… Oh man, that sounds like… What are you laughing for?

I'm just saying, I'm just saying I'm just saying, I'm just saying I'm just saying, I'm just saying I'm just saying I'm just saying, I'm just saying I'm just saying, I'm just saying Oh man, that sounds like… What are you laughing for?

Sounds like a kid's cartoon character It's like Jack the Jakeal No, it's Jake the Jackal It's because he's so animalistic and savage and ferocious He's the leader of the Jackals Jackals are the dumbest dogs Whoa, now hold on I'm willing to have my head shoved in a toilet But I will not hear you besmirch the good name of Jackals Yeah, well, let's see them What? No, we're not taking you to Jake, no I'm sorry Did you not hear my friend? And I just…

He's referring to his knife Yeah, my tiny little knife My little pointy friend here Okay, if we take you, what's in it for us? You don't get your throat slit by an eight-year-old, nine-year-old? This nine-year-old, leave your schnards alone So what, you want us to take you to Jake?

Yeah, because we're trying to fucking track down this lady that stole from us Okay I mean, the only thing I know she had, because I saw her with my spear, she might have taken something else Let's check our room really quick Discern realities? Yeah, it's a good idea Yeah, discern realities, great, good idea Ten Ten, okay, you get three questions Okay, what happened here recently?

Now that you have like the light on and you're not fighting people, your place has been fucking tossed Like, couch flipped over, drawers pulled out Yeah, your room has been completely tossed, like…

But it looks the same because it was a mess to begin with Yeah At first when you walk in, you're like, oh, she didn't come in here Oh, no, wait, that pile was over there I remember I remember I don't think too much would have been taken But I think you're definitely missing some coin, that's for sure Oh, those fuckers How much?

It's honestly not much, it's like 20 coin, 30 I'll kill them, I'll kill her Billy has no sense of scale No If you take one of our things, you might as well have taken all of our things Yeah The fact that not a lot of stuff was taken leads you to believe they were looking for something else Uh, what should we be on the lookout for? So you…

You're just looking around the house, like you're trying to look everywhere And actually on the roof, you go up through your roof exit And you find on sort of the lip of the roof You find a small wooden carved snake Calling card? Yeah, it's like a little kind of S shape Yeah Wooden piece Looks like the S in Scrabble Yeah, pretty much, yeah So, you now know that she…

If she only did this once, that would be a little bit more than enough That would be weird, this is probably a thing that she does a lot Whenever she robs somebody, she leaves a little wooden snake Okay Yeah As a thief, I'm embarrassed for her It's a rookie move Yeah, this is from the kid who not too long ago was sprinting out of a kitchen with two handfuls full of potato wedges Saying, I'm a master thief now, apparently Okay, you got one more question?

I mean, I guess who's really in control here? So, you get the… Based on what you know about the jackals, like the small amount that you've learned It would be weird for them to hire, like a criminal that has a name, a calling card, seems to be very skilled So, you don't even get the idea that the jackals are necessarily behind this But someone hired the jackals to work with…

The garden snake Garden snake But somebody asked the garden snake to take this thing Wonder if they had two things in mind Yeah Like the spear and something else Well, not even the spear, I wonder if the spear just like…

A lure Oh, yeah, for us to go find her That's interesting And that would make sense why she left a calling card Yeah Oh, yeah Well, we gotta find her then Yeah Always going to trap without it Yeah, so that's what you glean from the situation There wasn't much taken from your place She left a calling card, so she's not worried about you knowing that it's her And it would be very strange if you were to find her and you're like, oh, I'm not going to find her It would be very strange for the jackals to do this on their own So what to do next?

Well, I want to find this lady Yeah Tuck's like, maybe summer is the season of love for me Oh, my God He has walked to a window And perhaps it is the garden snake with her venom so poisonous who will slay my rotten heart And we're all like just watching you do this?

Even the jackals are like just staring at you I will find you, he says to the night I will find He says You say that out loud Yeah I will find you, he says to the night See, he's doing narration for his own speech now Yeah Is this the thing he does a lot? It's new So can we go or what's the situation here? No, you broke into our place What if we promise to never do it again? This, yes, thief's promise?

Look, okay, I'm gonna be honest, I'm gonna be straight with you Why would I want to come back here anyways? Look at you I didn't know that it was gonna be like this I didn't know there was gonna be like a stabby little kid Some sort of monster man and a man who is monstrous Thanks I'm in a book phase right now And then I take out some protein powder and I scoop a handful Now, when you say two, I mean, I'm not saying two Now, when you say take out, what does that mean?

There's a jug of it under the sink There's jugs everywhere But it's all cash, because he's on a subscription service But he doesn't get through it all Yeah, he doesn't even eat it at all But like, Tuck has eaten so much And he's just like, it seems like there's more every day He's on a daily subscription It's like milk, the milkman comes by and gives him powder Maybe his parents are sending him care packages all the time That's just protein powder?

It's because his parents don't know a lot about him And Cash mentioned that he started working out Because he wanted to seem like he'd had his shit together So they're like, oh, he's working out, we'll send him protein powder Alright, look, we'll let you go if you promise not to come back And if you tell us where we can find the garden snake Oh, uh, I can't do that Oh, my fucking, what if I threaten to kill you?

What I mean is that I don't know where to find her Oh, do you know how to get a hold of her? Or how to get a hold of someone who knows her?

Take us to Jake, the snake Jackal Jake is the jackal The garden snake is the snake I know you guys laughed, but I thought it was kind of a cool name It's stupid But it's because she's known for like, sneaking into rich people's houses And stealing their valuable shit And she's harmless You know, yeah, garden snakes are harmless and they're really actually quite small and cute Yeah, and it's really easy for them to get in and out of places unnoticed No, it's not, I always notice them Okay, well, alright, fine, well, I'll tell her to change her branding Yeah, like, Night Python You know what?

No, Billy goes to the window Yeah, yeah Yeah Night Python Or maybe Venom Cobra Or Midnight Spooky Snake Midnight Spooky Snake? Is that what you said?

Wow And then Billy gets embarrassed, he's like, not that one So now Tuck and Billy are silhouetted against the window And the only person in this social combat situation is now Vink, so Vink starts thinking about his spear and goes to the window in the kitchen and is like, you Were unbreakable once Until I broke you And now that you're gone, I'm the broken one I can almost smell the saffron imbued in your rope And actually the jackals start like, Getting up And like, looking at the door I'll get that spooky night snake Fuck you, garden snake And we hear the door close by Yeah, if you guys, if you turn around, they're gone Yeah, we Whatever, we know where to find them We turn, we turn around They left, there, it is now an empty apartment Perel walks in What happened?

Took you long enough, classic What am I gonna do? That's what I'd like to know, why do we even keep you around? Can we cut back to what he was doing? He's just like, wide-eyed eating a falafel, just so enraptured He hears the noises of fighting and he just goes, wow My friends sure are skilled and confident And, uh, well, I called them my friends That's nice Anyways, and he just continues to eat his falafel and smoke his hookah Yeah, what happened?

We were targeted by some mastermind criminal who's, uh, in love with me called the garden snake The garden snake? Yeah She named herself? Yeah Wow Billy's got some other ideas for names Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm working on them Poison, poison slither tongue She took my spear, my harpoon She took your, that piece of shit? Excuse I know it has a lot of sentimental value, but why would somebody steal a common spear?

I don't know It's a mystery And then they, they took some of our money And they made a map And they made a mess Like, look at this place We're gonna get kicked out so fast Yeah, you might actually This seems like it would be the kind of thing that Cash would not be able to, uh, forgive Hey, Perel Yeah We're not very good at this What? Cleaning Oh Do you think you could, like, organize it really nicely and make Cash's room super clean?

Cause I know Billy knows that Perel loves to clean Yeah, and he's, he has had a one-room apartment for so long that he's like, oh, I'm gonna clean this room Yeah, I know Billy knows that Perel loves to clean And he's like, oh, multiple rooms A bathroom I'm so excited Oh yeah, and then after you can just take a shower Woah Or a bath Oh my, get out Okay Go now Let's go, guys Let's go, go, go, go, go And we shuffle out You hear the door slam behind you Perfect And then we hear him start singing Yeah, I was gonna say he starts singing to himself What's he singing?

It's, it's just a melody He's like It sounds old And yeah, so you leave the vicinity of your apartment to the singing of Perel in the distance. Hey, guys. Yeah? I think we should talk to the kids and see if they might know where to find Spooky Garden Snake Lady. Oh, these urchins that you hang out with? Yeah. Kevin and Bethany? Bethany. Bethany. Yeah, let's go do that. Great. Lead the way, Billy. All right, so this is going to be a connections roll, which I believe is charisma. Eight.

Okay, so what happens on an eight with connections? So on a seven to nine, you have to settle for something close to it, or it comes with strings attached, and that's my call. It comes with strings attached. Okay, so is everybody going to meet Kevin and Bethany? Oh, yeah. No, I'm bringing everyone. Okay. Be cool, you guys. So where are you going to meet them? The usual. So we go to the bakery. Oh, the bakery in the deep ward. Near the ventilation. Yeah. So, okay, squeeze in, you guys.

And then we just slither down here into the pipe. And there's like half a dozen kids in here all hanging out. And as soon, like, they see Billy and they go, oh, Billy. Hey, everyone. And then they see Ving and Tuck and they go, whoa. These are, this is Tuck. Hi, kids. And this is Ving. Hello, children. Oh, my God, Billy, these are your dads? Yeah, kind of. Oh, my God. I didn't think you actually had dads. Yeah. Yeah, we made them with our penises. No, they didn't. Wow. No.

They're so, and Bethany's like, they're so big. They're huge. Yeah. Is this how big adults usually are? I think so. Yeah, what do you want, Billy? What can we help you with? So, our house got broken into. I know. And they took Ving's spear and they took some money. And that's really uncool. That is uncool. I didn't even know you had a house. Yeah, it's not really ours. Oh, okay. But. I've done that before. Yeah. But the guy who owns it, he's going to be really pissed. Oh.

A bunch of jackals broke in. And then they were like, oh, it wasn't us. It was that lady. And the lady was like, what is it? The garden snake? And all the kids are like, oh. Yeah, and she's the one who took Ving's spear. And Bethany's like, oh, you saw the garden snake? You've heard of her? We've all heard about her. Yeah, we all heard about her. She's a legend. She's a legend in McCall. Yeah. What did she? What did she have? Did she have the pants and the veil? Did she have the veil?

I think she had a veil. I didn't see any pants. Oh. Can I use legends of guitar heroes past? Yeah, totally. When you first encounter an important thing related to one of your specialties, you get to ask a question. Any question. Oh. And I answer it. Where is she? Yeah. I mean, we could do that. But that is. That is what we want to do. The connections. Is there anything else that you want to know? Oh, about her? Yeah. Is she single? Does she have a boyfriend?

Is that actually what you want to know? Oh, God. You're trying to remember, like, songs and, like, poems that you've heard. And honestly, if I'm being, I mean, like, as much as I'm supposed to answer, honestly, any question. Yeah. I don't think there would be a song about, like, and her address is 14145. It's the address song. But call. It's the address. The address. The address. The address. The address. The address. The address. The address. The address. The address. The address.

Because disseminated in the form of a song that everyone memorizes every year. Garden Snakes number 6503. Garden Snakes number 6503. Garden Snakes number 6503. All right. We know where she is. Okay. Cool. Okay. So what would Tuck want to know about her? She's this legendary thief who he might have a crush on because she stole from him. And also because I think he hasn't gotten a date in, like, five months. Uh-huh. Wait. Just. Did he say that you have a.

That he has a crush on her or she has a crush on him? No. I think he's like, he's got a crush on her. Okay. I just wanted to make sure. And she knows you exist. Yeah. Well, maybe not. But it's that thing where you were in, like, middle school and then a girl's like, hey, can I borrow your pencil for a second? And you're like, I've never felt more special in my entire life.

And the reality of it is that somebody probably was explaining the job to her and was like, one of them's a huge moron and then moved on. The other one's Tuck. I guess he would want to know what her likes and dislikes are. Wow. To be totally honest. Yeah. No, that's actually a reasonable. That's a reasonable kind of question. He's just like, what kind of girl is this? Is it an option for me? What are her likes and dislikes? And also, like, what kind of what was the big job that she pulled?

All the same question because I didn't stop talking in between. See, that's the kind of shit I want you to ask where you're like, what's the big job that she pulled that made her a legend and made her fall in love with someone to. Okay. So, man, you ask so many questions and I really shouldn't be giving you the answers. But please. So I'm going to start with likes and dislikes. What you know from the songs is that kind of like Catwoman style, I guess.

She is known for having very high class taste. Oh, yeah. Like she generally steals from the wealthy and she takes like finery. She takes. She takes clothing, jewelry, antiques. She's stolen a couple of things that have that are said to have been like magic, like magic items. Yeah. That was song was called Pretty Woman. She's a lady. He didn't even say pretty woman. He went straight to she's a lady. Wow. Incredible. To be fair, you were humming Mr. Sandman. Yeah. Why were you doing Mr. Sandman?

I was trying to do the big. I was trying to do the opening beast. It goes like this. Pretty woman. Okay. And that's literally even the instruments sound like that. It's a guitar that goes pretty woman. Yeah. It's pretty impressive. I'm looking at pretty woman because now I'm mad at all of you. I know what you're talking about, but it literally just goes pretty woman. But it sounded like Mr. Sandman when you were doing it. Hold up. Shut up. You were doing Mr. Sandman. Try to play Mr. Sandman.

Play Mr. Sandman. Because I have a mouth. I'm going to play Mr. Sandman. But the reason is because I have a human mouth, not a bunch of bass strings. But they're different melodies. Man, if you play Sabotage right now, I'm going to lose my mind. That's what you were doing. Which is to be fair. Fuck you guys. That is a human mouth sound. I'm getting sweaty in the way that I get when I play Mr. Sandman. I'm getting sweaty in the way that I get when I play Mr. Sandman.

When I'm actually embarrassed. Yeah. Okay. All right. So, okay. Dislikes. It is said that she, much like Batman, she tries not to kill. That is another thing that people know her for. Her modus operandi is usually break in, break out, don't see anybody. And if you do see somebody, don't kill them. Through the songs, you've heard that when there has been direct action at a scene that she is said to have been at, they found people paralyzed. What? Forever? No. They usually get better eventually.

But if they found guards knocked out, they're usually paralyzed, but awake. Oh. That's probably why she's called the garden snake, because she doesn't actually kill anybody. Oh, well, he should have just said that instead of being like, oh, sounds cool. Sounds cool. Yeah. And you know what? That's all you're getting. Okay. That was your question, then I answered it. So, all the kids are like, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. So cool. I can't believe you saw the garden snake.

Have you ever heard of rumors? Where she hangs out or where she can be found? Oh. Hmm. Hmm. Maybe. And they look down, they do the Grinch smile, and they look at you. Maybe we have. What's it to you, adults? What? I want to know this, too, you guys. I know, Billy, but they can get stuff for us. What do you want? And now they're like, uh, uh. I thought so. They have money. They can get you whatever. Money? Yeah. She took 30 coin from us. So, if you help us find her, we'll give you half.

How much is… Let's see what you can buy for 15 coins. A feast. Whoa. I think they want 30. Like, I think they want the full 30. Wait. What? There's… It's… What? You're just gonna… We can't… I mean, 15 maybe would be enough for, like, half of us, but there's two times that amount of people here. I say we give it to them. Yeah, fine. I don't care. I literally don't care about money. Yeah. I'd rather you guys have it than the snake. Snake lady. Okay.

So, you guys will take this money and help everyone of your regamuffins. We want you to share it. You're a family. Of course. Okay? We're not buying you. We're giving you money to take care of your family. Okay. And you promise to bring the money back. We promise. Sick. Nice. Nice. Okay. I high-five them. They high-five you. All six of the kids. All six of the kids. All six of the kids. All six of the kids. All six of the kids. All six of the kids. All six of the kids. All six of the kids.

All six of the kids. All six of the kids. Our wives have been bound by the eternal bond of the high-five. And now, in exchange for our agreement, we will tell you what we know. They say that she lives in the lower ward. And she is a noble lady. What? That's why she only steals fancy things. Because she loves fancy things because she's rich. And rich people only love nice things. Maybe she's Robin Hooding this. And she's actually helping people. Maybe she's Robin Hooding this.

She's stealing from the rich. Is that the case? Have you guys ever gotten anything from her? No. I bet she keeps it all to herself. Probably. I'm going to give him… Here you go, little man. I give him the little wooden snake. It's okay, Kevin. He's so excited, he puts it in his mouth for a second. And then he takes it back out of his mouth and looks really sheepish. Wow. Yeah, you hang on to that. Thank you so much. This is amazing. Thank you. Okay. Are you going to go find her?

We're going to try. Oh, yeah. Yeah. If you find her, come back and tell us how beautiful she is. We'll be coming back with 30 coins for you and your family. And they all go, yay! And they all start dancing together. So that's what you know. Supposedly, she is a noble. Cool. Cool. Yeah. I mean, oh man, I really like the idea that you're trying to like trap her, trick her into being somewhere. Yeah. Maybe we should take all of our gold and go buy a bunch of fancy things. Oh my God.

Put it in the windowsill. You know what I'm saying? I really like the idea of you guys like pretending to be rich people, like dressing yourselves up and being like, hello, we're visiting nobles. I do. I think that that's a great idea, actually. I've always had a monocle. You? So is the plan to take on these personalities of rich people who have just come to town, will buy a bunch of shit at like fancy stores in the lower ward and just be like, we're going to be staying at this hotel.

Yeah, exactly. Like really spread the rumor. A shopping mall. A montage. Exactly. Oh, I love this. So it's like wee hours of the morning. The shops don't open until about 10 o'clock. Let's just sleep down here. Yeah. In the deep ward. The deep ward? No, like in the tunnel. Yeah. In the tunnel. It's warm, you guys. It smells like cookies and they're baking bread right now. Oh, and then they're going to make croissants pretty soon. It's really hard to say no to him. We have a house.

No, but Perel's cleaning it. No. And I really like sleep. This is my favorite spot to sleep. Okay. Okay. We'll sleep in this fucking vent. Hey, Kevin, we can have a sleepover. Sleepover. Can all the kids just start laying down? Can I go sleep over with them? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. We're here. And I love that like the tunnel has literally never been safer to sleep in because there are two enormous people sleeping in the entrance. Yeah. We can't fit in it, but we're sleeping out front of it. Yeah.

What are we doing? Can we have a conversation? Of course you can. While they're sleeping? Yeah. We got to set clearer boundaries. I'm terrible at setting boundaries. We have to have consistent bedtimes. Okay. We can't let them sleep in tunnels anymore. It's just hard to know when adventures are going to pop up. It's not even an adventures thing. He's sleeping in tunnels half the night. This is crazy. We both can't be working at night.

Well, I mean, I'm not qualified for anything other than bouncing. I'm not qualified for anything other than bouncing work. And that only happens at night. I guess I could give up my job in the sticks. But can't you work during the day? I guess I could work in the day. Do you think the sticks are still poor in the daylight? I thought it was more of a nighttime thing. Things seem more impoverished at night. I don't know if you have noticed that. People are walking around bumping into things.

Man, look at those poor bastards. They share a poo. Oh, there goes another one. Boink. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

I mean, we don't have to figure it out now, but we have to talk about just getting him on a regular schedule where he's not thieving at night, stealing croissants, falling asleep in vents, fighting what he says are dragons but are just lizards. Also, I've seen him talking to the shadows in corners all the time. I saw him talking to a shoe the other day. He's getting weirder. He's getting really strange. I don't know if this is too much editing, but can we have a flashback to the shoe? Yes.

Yeah, totally. Okay, so I assume this is a fairy. Yeah, it's a fairy. So what does this fairy look like? So I think the fairy is like a human, like a little kid, but in sock material. So it's like a lot of knits and stuff like that. Like a sock monkey? Yeah. Wait, like it is made out of sock material or it's wearing sock material? No, it's just wearing a lot of sock material. Oh, okay. Like a borrower. Yeah, I guess so. And so what are they talking about? How long have you lived in the shoe?

Oh, the shoe? I've lived in the shoe. Well, it's kind of hard because I can only really judge time in shoes. So the amount of time that it would take to wear out 40 pairs of shoes. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. I've never worn shoes. Not really. There's no way I've worn 40 shoes. You've never worn shoes? Not really. Oh, let me tell you. It's pretty great. I mean, I do, but for a long time I didn't wear shoes. Let me think back to all the shoes I've owned. I can list them off to you.

I would love nothing more. All right. So I have a pair of leather boots once right now. So those are my most recent is the leather boots. My dad's make me wear them. And then I had some socks before that. And then I had more leather shoes, but they were brown that time. And one time I had slippers. Oh, those are the best shoes. What was the stitching like? It was really nice. Like white thick stitching. Fluffy inside. Fluffy outside. And then hi, Tuck.

Tuck is like, Billy, where are you doing this? I'm just like leaning in a hallway outside. Yeah. Just like in the doorway. Yeah. As this conversation was happening, you see him slowly lean out of the front door of the apartment to watch. And he's like, oh, I'm not going to do that. And he's like, Billy, who are you talking to? The shoe. Hi. And the fairy waves his hand. Oh, are you going to wave back? He's saying hi. Hi. And Tuck reluctantly waves in the air. Sorry he's being so rude to you. No.

He's not usually this rude. That's okay. He has great shoes. Those boots look like they've been everywhere. Oh, they have. The story of those shoes could tell. Oh, Tuck. He wants to hear about your shoes. They have. The shoe does? He said, okay. Why aren't you listening? The shoe says your shoes are great. And he wants to know where they've been. Oh, these shoes. They were in the principalities. Uh-huh. Oh, you got to listen in on this. Oh, yeah. They've been to Blackglass.

They've been to Pinewood. Wow. They've been to Highspear. They've been to the Sea of Graves. They've been to the Spirit World. And they haven't worn out yet? And they've been to… And they haven't worn out yet? They've been to the river. He's not listening. Riverways Principality. He's not listening. Billy, I have work. I have to go to work. I can't keep doing this. Oh, okay. That's fine. That's fine. No, it's fine. Why are you upset now? I'm not upset. I'm going to go now.

I'll talk to you later. Where are you going? Okay, bye. Go home to sleep. Bye. Bye. Bye. Billy runs out the apartment. Cut back to the tunnel. Well, at least he's wearing the shoes we got him. God, I feel like we set such low bars for success for him that he's never going to… I don't know. Okay, well, one of us just needs to stop working nights. I'll stop working nights. I'll shift my shift. Okay. But then we can never hang out. It's good to see you. I kind of want to cut to this.

I want to cut to this. I want to cut to this. I want to cut to Billy and the kids for a sec. Sure. Bethany is laying on her stomach like in front of Billy. She's got her fingers on her hand like legs. And she's like, I'm the garden snake. I'm the best thief in the city. Well, I'm the garden snake. And I'm a mean cow. And I just go into people's houses. I'm like, just smashing into stuff. You know what? I'm so rich and lazy because I don't have a job.

And I don't know what it's like to work hard for the things you have. So I'm just going to work hard for the things you have. And I'm going to take their stuff. And I fart. Billy, if you don't want to play, that's okay. You don't like how I'm playing? No, if it's fun for you, we can keep doing it. It's a lot of fun. The most sinister Billy has ever sounded easily. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. Yeah. And Kevin is laying near you. The guy's like watching. He goes, Billy. What?

What's it like to have dads? It's really nice. Before them, I had a dad a long, like a really long time ago. And he was so cool. And then he died. And yeah. And I didn't have very good parents after that. And really, I didn't have anyone for a long time. And then Tuck found me one day. And then Vane came later. And it was pretty cool. It's pretty cool. I like them a lot. That's nice. Yeah. We know what that's like. Yeah. But I'm glad that you found them. Yeah.

I hope you guys find dads or moms one day. Yeah. That'd be nice. Yeah. And then Tuck slaps the inside of the vent. And he's like, go to bed. Kids, go to bed. Now. Whoa. Ugh. Fuck. Maybe I don't want to. I don't want to go to bed with my dad. Yeah. That's the only thing. They try and make me go to bed. And it's like, I know when I want to go to bed. It's three in the morning. Shut up. Everyone sleep. Everyone sleep. It's three. You're yelling. It's three. It never works when you yell.

I'm not just saying. All right. And we, I don't know, flash forward, what? Six hours? Five hours? Yeah. Morning. It's morning time. I assume you're going back to your apartment? Yeah. Yeah. We'll go back home and get geared up. Cool. You get back to your apartment on Abu Dib Road. You walk into the apartment. Incredible. Oh my God. Everything's like neatly placed. Everything is looking great. Spotless. It's actually looking cleaner than it has since you moved in. Oh my gosh.

And Perel is asleep on the couch. Look at me. Looks like an angel. He's so beautiful. Smells like an ox. Looks like a bald, stylus angel. Hey, hot. Hey. Hi. Hi. Hey. Sorry, I thought you were somebody else. Who'd you think we were? I thought you were more, nah, nevermind. Who? Nah, no, no, no. Anyways, I cleaned the place. It looks pretty good. It looks great in here. Thank you so much. No problem. It was a lot of fun. You did this without magic? Oh, I've never cleaned with magic.

This is amazing. Thanks for giving me the opportunity. How was your night? Where'd you sleep? In the vents with the muffins. Guys! Guys! With the muffins. Bing did not sleep awake from this fucking beat. So what's the plan? What'd you learn? We learned that a snake lady is rumored to be like a noble lady. And she likes fancy stuff. And she likes to steal, you know, like antiques and money and stuff like that. And finery. And she doesn't kill people. So she's maybe a good guy. It's hard to say.

But we think she might be in the woods. We're going to go to the lower ward. So what we're going to do is we're going to lay a trap for the snake. You're going to love this. We're going to go to the lower ward. Pretend to be rich people. Start spending a lot of money. And then we're going to spread a bunch of rumors that we're going to be staying in this one hotel in the lower ward. Don't know which one yet. And then we're going to wait for her to come to us. Yeah.

And we're going to look pretty good. Pretty great. Pretty good. We're going to definitely deck known feathers and velvet things and silk. And Perel has steepled his hands in front of his face. And he tilts his eyes. He tilts his head down and looks at you through his eyebrows and says, So what I'm hearing is disguises. Yeah. The fanciest disguises. Ving Mimes leans into Perel and like minds taking a leash off of his neck. He rolls his shoulders. He cracks his neck to the side.

And he goes, Makeover. Yeah. And then there's montage begins. Pretty woman. Walking down the street. Pretty woman. The one I hope to meet. Mr. Woman. Yes. Maybe a man like peaches and cream. Whatever the fuck. So we'll start with the role for the costumes. Because that it hinges. Everything hinges on the costumes. Oh, yeah. I'll take that on me as the former shape-shifter. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 2d6 plus charisma. Nice. Eight. Okay. So seven and nine mixed success. They're going to be pretty good.

Pretty good. Not great. Like really top of the line mall clothes. Yeah. Totally. Like Le Chateau back of the store. Yeah. Like it might take a little bit longer for the rumor to get to the nobles. Because it's mostly going to be poor people being like, did you see that jacket? It looked like it was made out of silk, but it felt like polyester. Okay. Great. So where do you go to get clothes? Let's talk about that. There's a guy, Randy, down by the river. I know we can go to.

I mean, honestly, a smuggler. That'd be a guy, Randy, that I know. I do like the idea of like going to a smuggler because we don't want to spend that much money. Yeah. Yeah. It's a centaur. It's a centaur. It's a centaur. Randy the centaur. And they're. Yeah. Centaurs are known in McCall for like their mercantile operations. And Randy is not that kind of centaur. Okay. So let's be clear. What does centaur sound like?

Because I mean, it's so bad, but it's the most fun to do like a wheeling and dealing kind of guy. Like, hey, it's me, Randy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do that one. I'm fucking half cable here. Jesus. Yes. Yeah. Do that. Okay. Is this what all centaurs sound like? Sure. Yeah. Whatever. Randy for now. Yeah. Just do Randy. Okay. So you just go down to the market, I guess. And the market, it's bustling. Like it's middle of the day now. It's fucking bumping.

And what you do see is your friend, Randy, the centaur. He has a pile of clothes on the border between the goblin market and the bazaar. And he's just yelling at people as they walk by. Hey, come on. I got the finest. Where's. The whole market. Look at this pile of stuff. I found this. I'm pretty sure it's wool. And he throws it back down. And look at these. They go around your neck. I don't know what for. But you could buy them. Randy. It's me. He's holding a pair of boots. Yeah. And to be.

I mean, we haven't described centaurs really before. Yeah. So he's like huge. Like he's the size of a camel. Yeah. Well, his lower half goes up to where a camel's shoulder goes, which is what? Like six. Six and a half feet. Oh, yeah. And so he's probably like eight and a half feet tall to the top of his head. Well, looks like he weighs two tons. And he's just like, hey, what do you guys? Hey, you big guy. Yeah. You only got a little piece of thing on your stuff.

You need some more clothes to fill out the gaps. Can you help us look rich? Oh, if there's one thing Randy knows and he's he puts his thumbs under the armholes of his little leather vest that he's wearing. It's. Yeah. I can help you. If you help us, we'll help you. Oh, is that so? What do you mean? Hey, if we look great, what are we going to do? Walk around looking great. And you know what we're going to tell everyone? Oh, you're telling me what the Randy. That's right.

And we're doing an operation in the lower wards. Oh, you guys don't run an operation. He gets real. He goes down, you know, in camel's kneel. Like. Oh, take on. Sorry. I got a little bit of the Lumbago. I hear you guys are pulling an operation. Huh? Yeah. I just told you that. Yeah. Okay. What kind of operation? He adjusts his glasses. Well, we're going down to the lower ward. Okay. We're pretending to be rich. Pretending. Yeah. High finery. The richest of rich. We want your top clause.

We're going to start rubbing elbows with, you know, all the yuppies down there. Okay. We're going to start spreading rumors. Maybe one of those rumors is Randy's digs are the best. Oh, that's a pretty good idea. I tell you what. This is where the seven and nine is going to come in. He wants something from you. Okay. All right. So there's a little shop in the low war. Oh, my God. This is side quest on a side quest. Oh, God. It's just a little side quest.

If you got the time or some sort of resources, all I need you to do is, like, push over a stall. Okay. It's easy. Fine. Yeah, we could do that. Yeah. We're scrupulous. Yes. One by guy called Stitches. He's a tailor down in the lower ward. And maybe he's been causing a little bit of trouble. So just push it over. I don't know. Fuck it up. Okay. Yeah. We'll push over his cart. Cool. Yeah, let's do it. Stand up, Randy. Oh, no. Give me a minute. Why do you have such bad joints?

Look at the fucking size of me, bud. Trying to hold up all this meat. He's rubbing on his belly. He's got chains and stuff. A whole lot of centaur, buddy. Okay. All right. Let's get you in the pile. We dive into this pile. Okay. And what do you come out looking like, Tuck? Tuck's wearing a top hat. Wow. You remember those kids that they went to prom with the frilly shirts with the powder blue suits and lapels? Basically like Dumb and Dumber. Yeah. So he's dressed like Dumb and Dumber.

He's got a top hat and a cape and a powder blue suit. Some of it's blue and some of it's orange. Yeah, frilly front. Some of it's blue. Some of it's orange. Okay. And a top hat. I think I said that three times. Yeah. We get it. He's got a hat. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. He's got a cane sword. Oh, yeah. Nice. That's going to come in handy. See, you know what the best part about this thing is, is people look at it and they go, that's a cane. No problems here. Don't worry about that guy.

But then you go, there's a cane. There's a sword. Holy shit. Yeah. I got a name for it. What's it called? It's called the walking stab. Cool. There you go. All right. What does Ving look like? What does Ving look like? The nicest piece of clothing that Ving could find is a black velvet one piece dress. All right. So he got some old fake pearls that look pretty good. And he's coming out like looking real good. La la. So he's also going to get some makeup too.

He's going to go, I guess, drag because he's going full wife here. Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, nice. And just to be 100% clear, moss hand? Moss hand. Moss hand. Sure. Yeah. But I found a big, fancy, sexy glove. There we go. Yeah. Those like. Oh, the opera gloves. Opera gloves. Yeah. Opera gloves. And little opera glasses. And you just waxed too. So you're. That's true. And just straightened your hair. Yeah. No. He looks like Celine goddamn Dion. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. All right. And Billie.

All right. I'm going to go as the rich baby. So I found. The rich. You mean Richie Rich? Yeah. She just. She said it so offhand. Like we would all be like. Yeah. We would all know what she was talking about. Yeah. You know. Well, like I have like the dad in the tux. And then the mom lady. Or like Celine Dion. I don't know. The older mom. Yeah. Grandma. Sad widow. It's hard to say really. Yeah. Dowager countess. So. Billow finds like.

You know those like Victorian outfits that like little kids used to wear. Yeah. Like the capelets. Oh yeah. Lot of velvet. Doughy hat thing. Yeah. The little. A bonnet. Yeah. The like the knee pants with the white stock. Yeah. Yeah. Silky stockings. The little like Mary Jane shoes. Totally. Yeah. Amazing. It's good. They. We found a pram to in the pile. She's going to push them around. Oh no. Billy finds the pram. He's like. Please. Really. You can walk. We don't need it.

Shoes are so uncomfortable. No. I understand if you guys are trying to pull an operation. You make them look like a little human. Yeah. Fuck Randy. I'm not giving you 15 coins for this thing. For what? For this pram. Oh, I did that. It's not. That's not mine. You can have it. You just got to get out of here. We're what we thought was a transaction was just us doing conspiracy to commit larceny.

He like collect some of your money goes pleasure doing business with you and takes off at a full Gallup. Just just the market. We're going to get out here. I don't think this fucking pile is his man. I went from not knowing what centers were about to loving Randy with every fiber. I'm being wait. What does Perel look like? Oh, yeah, because he was helping with. Yes, of course. Did I? Yeah. Okay. You hear a cough. But I'm around midnight black tuxedo. White shirt crisp.

The little triangle collars with a small. Little tie brilliant red rose probably fake along velvet cape and a white mask covering half of his face. How do I look take each take the mask off man? What the mask makes it it sends a weird message. I think yeah that I'm mysterious. Yeah, I was going to say it makes you mysterious Billy gets it like half mysterious like who is this grandfather who's so rich. Oh, hold on. So fancy and like where what party is he going to? Yeah, where does he live in?

What Palace? What's the other half of his face look like? No one will know it could just be like a diamond face. You really think the mask isn't going to work. You know, I'm not willing to have this argument with you. Yeah, you look like you right now. Yeah, keep in mind. I was in a box for a hundred years. Anyways, let's go. Let's go. All right. What's the next? It's it. So the other things are we have to find a hotel and spread gossip. Yeah. I guess you guys got it.

You would probably have to lock down where you're going to be before you could spread the rumors about it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, good idea. All right. Yeah, Billy 2d6 plus charisma. Oh man, plus charisma is 11. All right. So let's see you guys go down to the lower ward. Yes, you arrive on the tram and you get off into the lower ward crowds of middle-class and upper-class. No, the only people that you see on the streets are middle-class people. What's that?

What hotel do you direct your energies towards the fanciest? One Sun Palace the Sun Palace. Oh sure. Yeah, the Sun Palace the fountain in the front is flowing with crystal clear water 24 hours a day and has a big beautiful stone carving of a son. Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is the one that all the rich kids who are like cool and trying to like, you know, be rebellious. That's where they party. Yeah. So you just head in and there's a reception desk. I what does it look like quartz quartz? Yeah.

Um and like the Sun Stone like glass ceiling dome. So there's like light coming in glittering off so much tropical plants. Oh, yeah, you can hear like there's like birds and shit in here and so the glass ceiling dome there's pinpricks of Sun Stone in it. So even like at night, it looks like the night sky cool. Yeah, there's different panels and they change out the panels to adjust for the turning. So it actually like changes with the. Seasons. Yeah, that's really cool.

There's also like floors like parts of the floors are glass and underneath is like flowing water. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I want to go to this hotel now. Yeah, this fake hotel so nice. Yeah, and in the massive like Airy atrium reception area with all the trees and dense jungle life. There is a very straight-backed young man with a very thin mustache dark skin, very close cropped hair and. A really like tasteful reception uniform. He says welcome to the Sun Palace. Will you be staying with us?

Salutations my good man. I yeah, we're rich. We're staying here now. Very good. Very good. What sort of accommodations will you be requiring something with the toilet that needs that requires sitting down for I am a lady and I require sitting down to do so bathroom stuff. You will be happy to know ma'am that I ma'am ma'am miss ma'am. Miss. Miss will do fine. Ooh, you'll be happy to know that all of our toilets require sitting standing is for the poor.

Would you happen to have a room a room a sweet a sweet with a ballroom or something fancy like a grand piano or like an opera or something very cultural very high class. May I say this is a very advanced. Child that you have with you. Yeah, should be. You must be very proud. We he's only two years old and he's already aware of opera and piano and he could talk. We're that rich with a British accent.

I'm very well traveled sir, and I've stayed in quite the nicest places in the world and my grandmother father being listen, you like fucking grandmother. My fancy uncle. We will need most finest of establishment. It's my younger brother here needs somewhere to practice his singing and Perel taps his cane on the ground goes. Ha ha. Well, I think that we have just the accommodations for you in our Empress suite.

It is 50 coins a night and it has all of the accommodation to require super King size bed. That's when you take two Kings cut them in half and put them together and then one King. No, but hold on. You just can't. Yeah. Yeah. It's two half. King one. King you take the other two halves and you put them at the bottom. Okay, so it's a long just two Kings on end.

Yes, but of course cutting the first cutting both of them in half bit shows that you have no care for the quality of the things that you buy or how much they cost. What are the sleeps like of these beds is terrible. Sorry. This is so dumb. This is not realistic at all. This is perfect. Great. Of course is terrible. The rich don't need to sleep. They don't have to work. You simply stay up all night on cocaine.

It has an en suite bathroom an en suite bathroom an adjoining dining hall a retching Hall and an en suite bathroom. That's down the hall. You don't want to go in there and a beautiful view of both the gardens of the lower ward and some say just the barest peak of the broken shores. Oh, wow. On a good night on a good night. Okay, every night's a good night for a people like us. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

So of course we will be we will be billing you after your stay and we require just a just a name and contact information. Yes, of course we are of the and then he looks at Perel and he's like tuxedo mask clan to owe the tuxedo masks. Yeah. Yeah. You've heard of us as you can see our the patriarch is here and I point at Perel and it's like who bows very he spins his hand like 20 times as he goes to bow down and then bows back up.

Yeah, we've been traveling from the principalities because we've come to see the Shah of McCall. You wanted to borrow some money. Yeah, because we're so rich incredible. In fact, he's gonna we don't even have to go to. I mean, we don't even have to go to him. He will he will be coming to us. He will be paying us a visit to get his money because he is poor. Are you telling me that the the Shah will be visiting? Yes, the Sun Palace entirely possible. My good man.

How many days can we put you down for? Let's start with one week, please one week seven days very well. And he writes down. I just require what who was it tuxedo mask tuxedo mask clan. Okay is the family name. All right. My name is Tacoma Dome. Yep, you never lies. His eyes widen a little bit. Just one word. This is my mother. Wanda Rwanda Hotel Rwanda. What a beautiful. I've started. I have a chain. This is a my son. The last King of Scotland.

My name is William writes it down and and your name sir. Any points of Pirell and Pirell taps his cane on the ground and goes, haha, and he's looking really nervous. And he's kind of looking at all of you. My uncle's name is. Sir. William with an H Sir William. Yes, tuxedo mask. Yes, clan clan clan is in the name very well. And you will be at the very top Penthouse suite. Thank you room services available at any hour of the night.

We will simply wake someone and force them to make your food for you. Enjoy your stay and he throws both his hands out to the side and bows really really low tuck bows back. This guy doesn't come back up. Oh, his he's fully bound. Then curtsies. Unfortunately, he can't see it, but it's probably a beautiful curtsy. We go. He stays like that until you're out of you. Okay, we will be back later. Pirell lifts his mask for a second and starts waving air under his.

He's just pouring with sweat from that side of his face. This is going pretty well. It's not bad right now. Kind of amazing. We pulled this off so far so far. Let's see how these rumors. Go. All right, 2d6 plus charisma. Huge rumors. Holy shit. The fuck my charisma is two. So I got 13. All right. So what's your plan for spreading rumors here? Where do rich people hang out country clubs? Fine dining fine dining the Faberge egg store the dragon Faberge egg store. Yeah.

Oh my God stitches where we have to go. Anyway. Oh, yeah, let's go to. Stitches. Okay, and you get there and there is kind of a portly McCall in dude. He's got really oiled like ringlet hair and like a burgundy robe. That's very finely embroidered. Okay, so walk up to the cart and I go you me itch. Yes, I have words with you. You have insulted my family's honor and I talk loud so everyone can hear. Yeah. Yeah, and I go you have insulted the honor of.

The tuxedo mask clan and then I go the richest family in the principalities. We came all the way from the principalities expecting a full wardrobe of clothes from you stitch and we didn't find it when we got here. So what we did was we bought the deed out from under you for this cart in the store behind it. Please lower your voice. Please ever there. You're making a scene. No, you've upset my parents and Mike and and.

We're here to to fight for our honor because no one disrespects the tuxedo masks, please. Please. I'm just going to if you if it is true that you have bought this property, I'm going to need to see a deed of some kind. Here's the deed and I pull out the cane sword. I pull the sword out of the cave and people go and back up. This is the dirty deed done dirt cheap and I yeah, just smash it into the side of the cart and I start wriggling it around to make as much damage as possible.

I know he said that it was going to be one dice roll, but I want to Defy Danger strength for this. 678. Okay, great. Yeah, you smash the shit out of stitches cart and as I'm doing that I turn to like the crowd that's watching and I go I'm doing this because I'm rich and I don't care about the consequences because for me there are no consequences because money lets me do anything you either you I will have my revenge. I you would not heard the last of stitch McGillicuddy.

You may come to the Bellagio where we will be staying in the very fine Empress Suites at the Sun Palace. I mean in the Sun Palace where you'll find us in the very fine and pursuit enjoying our endless buffets and and backwards toilet. And everyone in the crowd goes. Oh, yes, backwards toilets. Oh, yeah, only the finest. Only the finest. Only the finest thing is to stand accounting gold coins in the crowd. And then as we're walking away we go.

Yes, us and all of our loose money and poorly guarded clothes will be in our penthouse. Sweet, sweet baby darling. Yes. How would you like to go spend a bunch of money and bring the wares back to our unlocked room? Love it. Grandma. Ma. Yes, are the heirlooms at least guarded or that? I will. I will one day inherit when I grow up or or are they also quite loose about the room? Darling. No one would steal from people as rich as us.

Your heirlooms are dangling out the window on the string like I know they should be father. Will the peacocks be arriving eventually? Yes, the dinner peacocks that will be arriving so we can eat for dinner. Leave one for breakfast. Lee. Yeah, leave one's eggs for breakfast. Yeah, we'll use the eggs for breakfast and we'll just throw them out.

Throw one out the window for sports and then tuck fumbles a bag of 15 coins and goes whoops and then drop and then does that thing where he goes to pick it up and then kicks it into the crowd and then he stands up and goes it's not worth it to go get it. That was 15 coins and then I turned to a random person in the crowd as like repeat all the information that I just said back to me. So I know you know it. Yeah, and the montages is them explaining their breath. That's music playing over.

Over them talking to you and us going. Uh-huh. And I mean we can assume through montage that you see. Oh, the word is spreading throughout the lower word. Psychotic rich family. Yeah, somebody should do something about it. Morons make way for Prince Ali. Yeah, I guess you guys did kind of pull a Prince Ali. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and the only thing left to do. Is wait to spring your trap. Yeah, let's go back to the room. So it's late like the moon has risen. It's a beautiful cloudless night.

Oh, maybe we can use the moths a little bit and see where she's going right now. Oh, yeah. Time. Yeah. So Ving is watching like the rooftops of the lower ward through the eyes of moon shadow in the moonlight. You see a form flitting across the rooftops running like full speed rolling over a ledge leaping across the distance. Between two buildings.

There's a point where she where the form jumps across a gap that nobody should be able to make and you see a flash of something flies out of her hand and stabs into a wall and she swings across and climbs up some sort of cord that she's carrying with fucking shit. My spear and you realize that she is obviously very clearly moving in the direction of the Sun Palace and it mere mere seconds until she arrives. She's coming. She's coming. She's coming. She's coming. She's coming.

All right, everybody look natural. Okay, took. It's a shiffer rope. I so my understanding was that your plan was to hide. Yeah. No hide hide hide gets into the shiffer rope and Perel swings into the bathroom and closes the door. Most of the way, but peeks through being slips under the bed like a snake.

Okay, and you hear before you see the quiet shuffling of like the window in the bedroom sliding open then like you don't hear anything but talk from where you're standing and then you see some silken slippers like touch the floor and she's just creeping into your hotel room through like beams of moonlight and bands of darkness as she creeps through the room.

You see slightly Baggy pants of some loose material that allow for like freedom of movement tight-fitting clothing on the top and like a silk veil look that covers her mouth and nose. She's got dark hair coiled at the back of her head.

And you see her arms are bare and from her wrist like to underneath her shirt are alternating dark black bands that look like elaborate tattoos and the light passes over the side of her head as you see her ears come to a very slight point and that's where we're going to end it for this week I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz hello goodbye playing being the half elf druid Paul Oppers and playing fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai goodbye thanks to what I think Tuck was saying hello to her yeah that's what I heard from inside hi thanks to Aaron Reed for our amazing intro and outro music and thank you to all of you our beautiful supporters listening to us right now thank you for doing that you can find us on the internet at Spout Lore most places including patreon.com and I think that's it so long bye okay bye and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your guest, I'm your game master, And my name is Sean O'Hara And joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, his name is Abdul Aziz Hello, I'm Brown And playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, his name is Paul Oppers Hi, I'm Half-White and Half-White And playing Fat Billy the Half-Lake Thief, her name is Jessica Tai Hi, I'm Half-White and Half-Chinese Charlie, you said we had to do that I do not appreciate having this bit used against me You said we had to We had to identify to the listeners what culture we were so that the racist jokes that you were making at us would be okay That I'm making Everyone knows you always listen to an Irishman Yeah I'm Sean O'Hara and because of the way my name is people assume I'm 100% Irish And when last we left our heroes, we joined them in the throes of a home invasion, burglary situation Their home had been intruded upon by mysterious figures And after a resounding success, we were able to get out of the house and go back to our home After a resounding success in a breach and clear style ambush They discovered that the Jackals had sent three dopes to toss your place to look for information What was actually happening was those bumbling assholes were supposed to distract you from the real thief Some sort of gun for hire sort of situation A figure called the Garden Snake, a legendary McCollin thief Who was silhouetted against the moon, tuxedo mask style With Ving's spear in hand and then disappeared And then disappeared And then disappeared You were then placed in a confirmation gathering in the form of talking to a bunch of orphans You discovered that the Garden Snake may or may not be a noble who moonlights as a thief Cool And decided that the best way to get her attention was to pretend to be very rich people The way we did it is so indicative of the fact that none of us have money You bought a bunch of Saying were rich You bought a bunch of fancy clothes out of a pile from a centaur named Randy.

At a flea market. At a flea market. Like actual fleas in the clothes, probably. And booked yourselves a room at the Sun Palace Hotel, the nicest hotel in McCall. You guys always go to the nicest hotel in town, which I think is funny. We go to the nicest hotel in town and then… You do not pay. We never pay and then immediately talk to the mayor. That's like our standard move. Yeah. Yeah. Take us to your mayor or the best hotel, whichever is closest to where we're standing right now.

The only reason you haven't been able to talk to the mayor of McCall is because it's a monarchy. Yeah, but we're on our way. Yeah. Knock, knock, knock. Can we see the Shah? No. Would you like to be executed? Ask again. Okay. Fair enough. Do we ask again? This is a trick question. Is this a riddle? This is a flashback to a thing that we actually did. And you're… You're continuing to talk as a man slowly pulls a sword out of a scabbard. Do you want to be executed? Ask again. Wait. Do we want?

Who wants to be… This is a trick question. Yeah. Who would ask again to be executed? Can the Shah come to us? And then smash cut to… As you guys are running through the door. And there's a cloud of dust behind you as the guards chase you. They want the war.

And then you guys went to go spread the rumor that you are extremely wealthy people visiting McCall by roughing up a seemingly innocent cart of a man named Stitches McGillicuddy, who was apparently given a rough time to your old friend, Randy the Centaur. And it worked. And you decided to lay in wait to spring your trap on the garden snake who crept into your room in the dark of the moon. The vibe here is that we're meeting our older sister's coolest friend. Yeah, pretty much.

The one that we have a crush on, but we don't know what that means. Or it's 2005 Pride and Prejudice. And Mr. Bingley's come to propose. What scene does he come in? Near the end, he comes. Near the end, he comes. And then he's like… When I come, too. And all the women are in the room. And he's like, actually, I've only come for Jane. Could you please give us a moment? Oh, man. Man, that's… I've got to watch this. Yeah, Jane Austen is erotic. If it's one thing, it is hot.

And what we left on was you catching a glimpse of the garden snake in the moonlight. And the very hint of an upturned ear. Oh, right. Oh, and some elf. And some tattoos. Oh, yeah. And she is dressed kind of like a mix between… Chung Li and Jasmine. And that is where we are now. What do you do? I went to shoot first. Okay, so shoot first. Just means you get to act first. But what are you doing? While Billy was waiting, he made a rope out of some of the really nice silk bed sheets.

And so he's going to try to lasso like a cowboy. Whoa. Eight plus two is ten. Okay, sick. So where are you throwing it around? I am throwing it around her neck. Whoa. Holy moly. And what are you doing once you get her? I'm going to yank hard to tighten it. Not so she dies. I just don't want her right away. Yeah. And then I'm going to throw the end to… Whose closest tuck? I'm in a closet. I'm under the bed. Okay, to Ving. Yeah, she throws her hands like up around her neck in surprise.

But you throw it to Ving. What does Ving do? I'm going to grab the end of the leash that Billy threw to me and say, Hey, you want to go for a walk? And then I run into the bathroom. I close the door. Okay. Removing yourself from the fight. I don't like this, but I just did it. I'm locking the sheet in the door and then tethering her in on the spot and holding it. As tight as I can. Okay. Roll 2d6 plus dexterity. If this moves, I just got to tether her in the spot.

Because right now she's just free to run around. Wow. 11 again. Holy shit. Okay. Okay, Brandon. So your plan is to stick the sheet in a door. Yeah. Slam it. Lock it. There's a window in the bathroom. We're going to jump out the window. Go into the other room. Here we go. The thing is when Ving ran through the bathroom and got the sheet in there, Perel is in the bathroom and he's like, Let me know if you need me. As you run through. He's not come out yet.

So she's like, as this is happening, like Tuck and Billy, you see her pull a knife out like a bejeweled dagger with a long silver blade and she starts cutting at the sheet. Whoa, whoa. Now. And I'm going to grab it. Okay. Yeah. Try it. 2d6 plus dexterity. 12. Fuck. Wow. So how does Billy get the knife out of her hand? Well, one, he's very impressed by the gems and it's mostly because he wants to have a better life. Pretty. Yeah. I just yank it out. What do you think you're doing?

And she's not talking. That's the thing is like she's on the job. So she's just trying to get out. She starts pulling at the sheet, like trying to rip it. Can I spend a cheat to come around? Because I can I cross the distance between yourself and a foe bypassing all obstacles and I come into the other room on the other side. Yeah. Boom. I come into the window blocking the window that she came in. Okay. What's Tuck doing this whole time? I've been waiting. I've been watching.

These guys were like fucking shit up. Wow. Billy's doing great. Yeah. Billy. Yeah. Yeah. They're doing a really handling this situation. I imagine Tuck was like too nervous to come out. He's just like so. Yeah. He was probably psyching himself out. That's why he's been in there. Hello. Hello. Hey. Hi. Here we go. Don't you steal from my friends. Piece of shit. Nice veil. Would you get it? The shit story. Hey, sick pants. They make you your legs look like. Fuck. Clowns. All right.

So he's going to try to kick the door of the wardrobe off of its hinges at her. Okay. Sorry. Are you single? Okay. So Tuck kicks the door off the closet to knock her down. Four plus straight. Yeah. Six. Okay. I can assist. Yeah. Somebody can assist for sure. What if Tuck kicks the door, but it doesn't he missed like it hits. It hits Ving and Ving kicks it back. Like what the fuck? And then it hits her. It hits her. I like that. It's like a volleyball. Yeah.

He just did this like elaborate parkour through the window around the side of a hotel up on the top floor. Yeah. And has into the thing and then a door almost hits him and then he like punches it into her. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Roll your aid. Two to six plus bond. Oh, wow. Ten. So roll your damage Ving. Holy shit. Yeah. She's like still struggling against the thing and then the door fucking. And nails her. You hear the first time that she makes noises like, oh, and like hits the ground.

But as she hits the ground, she flicks her hand out in Tuck's direction and you see you don't see what it is, but it hits you in the chest and you look down and there's a little feather dart sticking out of your chest. It's in my nipple. Oh, fuck. And then you feel a numbness start spreading across your chest. Oh, shit. Can I wait? There's a move. For poison? Yeah. Oh, his unbowed, unbent, unbroken. Can I just like, yeah. Cool. Read it off. You need glasses, dude. I just hate words.

When you prepare yourself to endure some hardship without fighting back, roll plus con on a hit you either take half damage or you can completely ignore one other I'll effect. Yeah. That's great. Two to six plus constitution. Nine. So you just you feel this numbness start spreading through your chest. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, oh, I need to slap the dart out. Yeah. And I was like, dude, not cool. That was my nip, man.

And as you guys are bantering, like making jokes and stuff, she is not stop moving like she's rolled onto her feet. She's like crouched on the ground. Now, I think I want to use one of my older moves. Is it war cry where you enter a battle with the show of force? I shout a rallying cry or a battle dance. I'm sorry. I should have read this. Oh, my God. A battle dance roll plus charisma on a ten plus your allies are rallied and take plus one forward. Your enemies feel fear and act accordingly.

All right. I'm going to do war cry. Okay. To try and just be like, stop. Stop trying to fight us. Yeah. Seven. Cool. So I pick up the wardrobe that I was in and I throw it at the like at the wall near her. I'm just like, stop. So, Billy, you're like moving towards her to try and restrain her. She's like, got this thing around her neck. Tuck throws a piece of furniture and you're looking at her one second and the next second where she was is a 30 foot long cobra. What the fuck? What? Yeah.

A snake. She's a shape shifter. Oh, my God. I'm so jealous. And the cobra, you see the black bands that look like tattoos along her arms running down the length of the cobra. Oh. And the snake starts whipping its head back and forth and comes loose from the silk sheet. And now there's just a big fucking cobra in the room. What do you do? Oh, my God. I have that knife. I'm going to stab its tail down. Yeah. Hell yeah. 12. Fuck yeah. So deal your damage. Two. Yeah.

You said you wanted to stab the tail into the ground. Yeah. Yeah. So you do that. There's like a huge hiss and then the cobra looks at Billy. Yeah. And starts to like try to get her. And then you try and lunge it, Billy. Yeah. Come at me. But I don't want it to. I leap over the physical distance over the obstacle and I'm going to deal my damage. Do like jump around, like use its neck like a pole. So I'll like swing around and use that momentum to try and pin her down to the ground. Cool.

So roll your damage. Four. Okay. You pin it down and it's being held down from two points now. It's got a knife in its tail and its head on the ground and it's really bucking back and forth. It's a big one, right? Look at that. You can feel that she's starting to lose energy, but you got like one more. Somebody's got to do one last thing basically to make sure that she can't fully get away. Shit. I want to roll it up. Yeah. Okay.

So I pull one of those huge pillows and I like, like shake it out and I take the pillowcase and I just like put the snake in it. That's what I want to do. Okay. Two to six plus strength. Six, seven, eight. Okay. Roll a two D 10. Eight. So you take like as you're scooping her up, the snake gets a big fucking chomp on your forearm. Okay.

And it hurts a lot, but you've already resisted that venom and you can feel it trying to take purchase in your bloodstream before you just like shake your hand out and you shove this snake in this big ass pillowcase really wriggling around. It closes the pillowcase and he ties it off and then he's like, fuck. Okay. Okay. So yeah, Tuck's got this huge snake like bucking around in this pillowcase. What are you guys doing? Teeth went all the way through I think. Oh no.

I want to talk to her as a snake. Oh, okay. Yeah. My snake tongue. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Full Slytherin. What do you say? I say, calm down. Stop fighting. We are only here for the spear. Okay. So the wriggling stops and then Tuck, you can feel like in that instantaneous change, the shape of the lump in the pillowcase changes. She's not like a big, big lump. Yeah. She's not fighting to get out anymore. You get the idea that she's not going to try and run off. I go, are you a lady again?

And you just hear from inside the pillowcase, put me down. I just dropped the bag. And she climbs out. She stands up, she brushes herself off and she looks at Ving. Why do you want my dad's spear? Your dad's spear? Yeah. My dad's spear. That spear belongs to my family. That spear belongs to my family. I got that spear from my father. That spear belonged to my father. That spear belongs to my father. Holy shit. Wait a second. What's going on? Say it at the same time. One, two, three. I'm hungry.

We have the same dad. Dad, I think I was thinking that too though. But also I can't think about this on an empty stomach. We've got room service. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. She's all excited. She's like waving her hands around. Okay. I'll be back in 45 minutes. Ving's rubbing his eyes like, okay, wait, what? I would like a grilled cheese sandwich and a vanilla milkshake and I'll be back in 45 minutes. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Really quick. Really quick. Really quick.

Really quick. Really quick. Really quick. Really quick. Really quick. Really quick. Promise? Yeah, I promise. Pinky promise? Okay, yeah. I promise that I'll be back in 45 minutes. Sick. And so she walks over to the open window, and she kind of sits on the windowsill for a second and looks at Ving and is like, this is exciting. And then she tilts backwards out the window, and she's gone. Dude, your sister's fucking hot. You just back off, Chuck. Not this one.

Perel opens the door and goes, what's going on? Ving has a sister. Ving has a secret sister. And she's a nine, easily. Maybe an eight. And you cut forward 30 seconds as you explain the whole situation. Okay. And you just believe that she's your sister right off the bat. Well, I mean, she's got pointy ears. I've got pointy ears. What else do you want? A lot. Like, so much. You understand that this would be like me telling Chuck that I'm his brother because we're both bald, right? Oh, my God.

Oh, Chuck, you have a brother? Bro! You are such a loser! This actually makes a lot of sense. This is worse than being an orphan. Fuck! You guys are idiots. You know, I know that you're idiots, but you think that I would expect you to be idiots at this point. This is crazy. This is really fucking with me, guys. What if she knows where my dad is? I thought I put that behind me. Do you not know where your dad is? No. I thought he was like a king or something. Yeah, but he's out. He's a raven.

He's a ranger king. Nobody knows where he is. Oh. When was the last time you saw him? I was just a kid. I was like 40. This might be an indelicate question, but when did your dad kill your mom? I know around the time. I know the season. It was in the winter. It was in the morning. I just turned 100 to you. So you were already like a druid at this point. Yeah, which is why I think I saw it. My mom being a druid, we were connected that way. I felt that part of me go.

She gave me the gift of seeing where she was going and why she was going there. Where did you get the spear? Did you take it? My mom had it. She used it for hunting. It was just in the house. It was just like a walking stick. I just thought she had carved it. I didn't know for a long time where it came from. It was just by the door in the hut. And I took it because it was useful. And I had attachment to it. I was drawn to it. I always liked it as a kid. Huh. Wow.

And we can cut forward to 45 minutes on the nose. The garden snake returns with the spear and is just like, this is nuts. So this was your dad's spear? Yeah, that's what my mom said. Wow. What was his name? His name was Nathaniel. Wow. Death for short. Oh, that's cool. That's so cool. Oh, man. Yeah, my mom never told me his name. Just that. Just that it didn't end well. It didn't end well between them. But nothing ends well with Nathaniel. I kind of sometimes I wish I asked her more questions.

But what's your name? I didn't think of her real name. Okay. Let's think of the name. Do that again. That's really funny. Shia. Shia. Oh, yeah. Perfect. Great. Who was your mom? And she like turns the spear over and she was she points at it. And she's like, Fatima. She was a she was a trader. She was a merchant. She went over that way across the sea a couple times. And one time she came back with me. You know how that how that goes sometimes. Right. You guys travel a lot.

You know what it's like. I'm a kid. Yeah. Not you. These three. I think I don't know. I don't have. You know what? We don't have to talk about. It's fine. Yeah. And she's just eating a grilled cheese sandwich. Wow. So you're like, I don't know. I don't know if I. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't believe you. Well, we're both. She points at her ears. We're both half Elvin. Yeah. We're both. I'm I can change. I can shape shift. Can you?

I've given it up. Gave it up. What do you mean? Gave it up. Then he flicks on a fire in his hand. I've moved on. Put it out. That's fucking so. That's so sick. Can you do a lot of that stuff? Yeah. Can I see some? Not right now. He's really sad right now. Wow. Why? Well, he took his spear. I lead. I want to lead in and be like, he kind of gets like really moody whenever his dad comes up because his dad killed his mom. Yeah.

And he's got a lot of dad issues because he also, his dad also didn't go to his mom's funeral. Yeah. And his. Mostly the dad killing my mom thing. Oh, sorry. Yeah. You're right. I, hey, if this, I feel. Is your mom still alive? No. You know. Did my dad kill her? No. No. No. I. I don't think that your dad, I don't think him killing moms is like part of his thing. Could have fooled me. I mean, from what my mom told me, he has had a lot of kids, but you know, elves live a long time. But.

There's more of us? Human. Apparently. You're the only one I've ever met. I wonder if there's some of these runes are other people's moms. I mean, there's a lot of stuff about like his life on here. Have you, can you read the runes? I know a few. I know my mom's name. Okay. Well, where's your mom's name? Ileana right here. Oh, Ileana. I was wondering about that one. Wait, you can read the runes? Yeah. Can you tell us some of the other people that Ving's dad fucked? It's not.

It's actually pretty useful information. There's like, there's like a couple other names on here, but I should be clear. It's not just like a fuck spear. Ving, that's what you call your dick is the fuck spear. Oh, this is embarrassing. You know, come for a circle. I, it's just, it's like, it's like a history thing, you know, like here, this one and she's like, oh, I'm a fuck spear. I'm a fuck spear. I'm a fuck spear. I'm a fuck spear. I'm a fuck spear. I'm a fuck spear.

She points and like, this is when he spent some time in Panusia. This is when he went to war against the king of all birds. Like it's that kind of stuff. I guess this is his way of thinking he can live forever. I guess the unbreakable part was his lineage. He spread his seed over the goddamn globe. Yes. And I, you know what? And she holds it out. If it's yours, it's yours. You know, I didn't mean, I just thought. She grabs the spear with her hands around and closes her hands.

And he says, it's ours. I got chills. Did you get chills? I got goosebumps. Look at this. I got chills. Even my scales got goosebumps. You're shape-shifting right now. Look at that. Look at that. That's so cool. Yeah. No, I, I just, I took it because I saw a spear that looked a lot like the spear my mom used to tell me about. And it had my mom's name on it. And I thought, well, yoink. Shia, who hired you? That's not really. That's not really.

That's not really the kind of thing that a thief is supposed to give up. Look, I'm a thief, obviously. Okay. And I'm a pretty good one. And we're family now. I don't know. Listen, if you're not going to share it with family, who are you going to share it with? Okay. I don't remember the name. I never got the name. It was like an in-between, but I do remember they smelled terrible. Just like, you know, like it just is in your mouth. It hurt. And Tuck has moved to the window.

He's silhouetted against the night sky. Oh my God. And he looks at the hearth from the window and he's like, oh, Phantom. Is he, is this a thing? Yeah, he does this. So yeah, I don't know. They offered me a not insignificant amount of money to just dig around in your shit. So that means Phantom knows that. We're in town now. And he knows where we live. Yeah. Did you tell him about us and what you found? She kind of grimaces a little bit. Oh no. It was the job. I'm so sorry.

What information did he want? They just wanted confirmation of the, of the people that lived in that apartment. Cause they got word, I guess, from the jackals about a real ragtag group of misfits. A huge dude with a really crazy ax, a little kid that was like fucking sharpshooting people and somebody throwing around. Elements like it was nothing. I guess that was you. Yeah. That's cool as hell. Oh my God. I wonder if cash is in danger. Oh no. Cash.

Can we come back to what cash is doing right now? He's just doing dishes and he's like da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da nothing dangerous around me here. I'm so glad I'm boring. I love to be a normal guy. A guy that just works in an office. Nothing bad ever happens to cash. Nobody tries to kill me ever. Picture. Picture. Picture. Picture. Picture. Picture. Picture. As two hands come around his head. From behind and a bag is over his eyes. Oh, no. Yeah, sorry.

They just wanted me to 100% confirm who the people there were, what they looked like. I'm so sorry. You understand, right? They paid me to do a thing and I did it. Yeah, we get it. I got a reputation to uphold. People give you five gold coins, you do whatever they say. Yeah, five. Okay. Wait, what do you get paid? What do you get paid? Five gold coins a day. Each? Her eyes go wide. Plus expenses. And you kill people for that much money? We'll do anything. We'll do whatever you want. Wow.

Like, we'll do hand stuff, we'll do mouth stuff. I feel… And in Tuck's mind, hand stuff is fighting and mouth stuff is talking to people. So he breaks down the jobs. Wow, you… Hey, we'll do foot stuff. But it costs a little bit extra. You guys got to work on your business acumen. What do you charge? Minimum? Yeah, 300 coins. Whoa. A day? It never takes me more than a day. Wow. Your sister's rich.

Anyways, if anybody knows that you've met me, that you've seen me and we talked, tell them that I was really cool and that I was very somber and emotionless. And that I had kind of like a… Like a dark, mysterious thing, okay? Is that cool? Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Okay, thank you. Because like, you know, I've been around for a while. And if people know that I actually look and sound like this, they're not going to want to hire me.

Do the voice that you do when you're dealing with a client. Yeah, shape shift into your other persona. Yeah. Okay. And she puts her veil back on? I'll do… I'll pretend to be the client. Okay. And then he goes and he gets the orange bow tie he was wearing before. He just does it around his neck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hello there. I would like to hire you to steal some stuff for me. Sure thing. But it's not going to be cheap. How much? Five billion gold coins. Oh my God.

Well, you're worth it because you're like Garden Snake. And I know that you're really good at stealing stuff. Here you go. And then Tuck starts to, in this fucking improv scene, mind-boggling. One, two, three. And you see him count for… For too long. Yeah. And to the point where you count five and she goes, yeah, so that's pretty much what I do. And Tuck is still like seven, eight, nine, ten. And in his mind, he's like, I'm just going to think I'm so smart. I can count so high.

Keep going, buddy. Keep going. So do you guys like where you live? I mean, we like it, but I think Cash hates it. Yeah, I think he hates it. And honestly, I have a feeling we're going to get kicked out pretty soon. I mean, even if you don't get kicked out. But some people are willing to pay a pretty penny to know where you are. So you're probably not going to want to go back. We do have to go into hiding. Oh, I'm already in hiding. Oh, you're in hiding? Wait, can we move in with you?

Well, I think that would probably be safest. Wait, where do you live? I hide out with the Siddell family. You live with the Siddell family? I do. The Viziers? Mm-hmm. Nobody knows. Nobody knows except for the Siddells. Whoa. I'm a lot older than I look. How old are you? I'm half… I'm 70. I'm 74. 74. And I look like this. She looks like 20. So if, you know, it'd be pretty obvious who the garden snake was if there was a noble that kept going out that was alive for like decades.

So they let me hide out with them. And do you like do jobs for them or what? They had a… No, they just, you know, they… My mom was a family friend. Oh. Yeah. And they decided after she died, they took me in. How did she die? She was a human mom. Half elf kid. Aw. Yeah. But they're really nice to me. They don't know I'm the garden snake. So don't mention that. But if I said I have some friends who need a place to hide out, they'll let you hide out. Yeah. Oh, boy.

And probably that other guy, too. That'd be fun. And Baldy over there. Oh, yeah. Perel. How's the bisque? There's so much lobster in here. Cool. Just an incredible amount. Oh, it's just chules, actually. Chules? Chules. Chules. Chules. And he does that thing where he goes, blah. And he lets it roll off his tongue back into the bowl. So I assume that you guys are going to your apartment now to get all your shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So I wonder if there's any concern with it potentially being under surveillance. Like if there's people watching. Should I do trap expert? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Perfect. Great. Sweet. 2d6 plus dexterity? Dexterity? Yeah. Eight. Okay. Cool. Is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? It's like morning now. And the regular crowd has started to filter out onto Abu Dib Road. And you do see a couple unfamiliar faces at the cafe across the street. Whoa, guys. Who are they? Take a look.

But don't look. Don't make it obvious that you're looking. Just like, but three o'clock. One, two, three. One, two, three. Wait, do I go to my left or my right? It's to your right, you guys. Have you? Yeah. Yeah. Do you not know how to read a clock still? One, two, three. So, and. Your right or my right? Now, Bing and I are just staring into each other's eyes. Fine. I'll look. Okay. So, there's figures, unfamiliar. They're wearing robes. And they're sitting in our favorite spot. Yeah.

They're just like sipping hot drinks and eating pastries, but like looking at your apartment a lot. Okay. Maybe we should take the back entrance and don't turn on any lights. And you're looking around. And you're like, okay, guys. And Shia, who was with you, is gone. Oh. And when she decided that she was going to come out with you, she takes her hair down when she's on the street and she covers her ears so people don't know that she's a half-elf.

And she wears like sleeves to cover up her tattoos. Classic self-loving elf. So, like Princess Jasmine? Yeah. It's like Jasmine in the market kind of thing. Yeah. She's covering up all her identifying features. And you're watching these, you're looking at these dudes at the cafe and you notice the one closest to. The road that it turns down, like leans back and looks down the road and signals to the person that he's sitting with. And they both walk down the street away from your apartment.

Oh, geez. Do we see what he looked at? No. Out of sight. But the surveillance is gone? Yeah. And Billy is pretty good at watching people that are watching things. And they weren't like, oh, we're being asked to come over here and provide information. They're more like, what the fuck is that? Right. We got to investigate. Guys. Okay. Quickly. Let's go up. Yeah. Okay. They're gone. Go get our shit. Defy danger dexterity. Oh, nice. 11. Six. 11. So does anybody want to aid Tuck? I'll aid.

You're on your own, pal. Oh, okay. How's Billy helping Tuck? Tuck is still looking the other way. Still looking for the guys. And I just grab his arm. I'm like, Tuck, I said this way. We're going to the apartment. Look at all over the place. He's like, who is it? It's two old ladies. Are they fucking watching us? Are you three o'clock? Call 11. Nice. I see a rooster coming down the street. I was like, is it that rooster? It's not the rooster. Just come on. And I don't trust that rooster.

Billy's the rooster. Go run. Billy, get out of here. I'll hold him off. So Billy pulls me away from a potential confrontation in the middle of the street with a chicken. A chicken. Yeah. Yeah. And so you get into your apartment pretty safely. And Perel's like, okay. I'm going to go get my stuff. And he runs to his apartment. And you go into your apartment. And yeah, something seems off here. Where's Cash? It's his day off. Where is Cash? He's not in the apartment. That is one thing you know.

Discern realities. Yeah. Can we discern realities further? Yep. I start sniffing around and asking the walls. 26 plus wisdom. Man. Oh, yeah. Nice. 10. Okay. Three questions. What happened here recently? The first thing that you notice is you hear what sounds like a babbling. Brooke. And you notice water coming from under the bathroom door. Water. What happened? Fuck. Right. Oh, sick. God damn it. You don't often talk to elements. I forget about that. I'll leave them alone.

And the water's like, I was preparing to administer to this fine gentleman's aches and pains. And as I had just filled the cistern to brimming, he never entered and he never stopped the flow. I'm full of delicious Epsom salts right now. Rose oil. It's hard to cut off water. It doesn't use punctuation. Yeah. It just flows. Run on senses. Rose oils, fine salts and minerals to ease the aches of the day and wash away the dust of life. Did you have pale hands in you? I did. What happened to them?

They tested my temperature and found me too cold. So they warmed me up. And from there, nothing. I miss the gentle. Touch. I'm trying to think of more weird. Jessica's giving me the stretch it out. Yeah. The gentle touch, the warm oils from his hands mingling with the scented oils in my body. How long ago were the hands in you? I do not know the flow of time. Simply the flow of energy. But it was a while. I'd say I'm about 62 degrees. Yeah. Yeah. About 14 degrees ago. Yeah.

Like however long it takes to fill a bathtub and then have the water run out of the bathroom into the room across the hall. Yeah. We can figure that because of how many times we flooded the apartment. And usually it takes like two hours to get to the door. Yeah. It was already at the door. So I'd say about two hours ago. Oh, geez. I love. Yeah. No, we flooded the apartment tons of times. We know exactly how long it takes. Yeah. Floor's all warped. Yeah. So probably a couple hours ago. Shit.

Okay. Okay. Where do you think they took them? I know not. I know where I. I'm not talking to you, water. Well, you have two more discern realities. Yeah. You have two more. Okay. Who's in control here? It's such an easy clue, but it's so funny to me. Tuck, you walk in and you're immediately like Fatim. The smell. Yeah. He was definitely here. You smell the gasoline kind of smell that he has. And then you also smell just like the bully musk that you were.

So he used to from getting your ass kicked as a kid. He's in total flight or fight mode now. Yeah. It's just every muscle in his body is bulging. Yeah. He's just. It's like you don't even see him grab the axe off. It's just in his hand. Whoa. Fatim's here. Fatim was here and he's here. He's here coming out. He's coming for us. So it was definitely the light guard. I like that. He actually has axe body spray. Like we never put it. It's good. It's axe body. Body spray. Yeah. And holy shit.

It's really funny. It smells fucking awful. And maybe he after he fought Tuck because Tuck had the axe and he had that like flaming maze. Yeah. And Tuck ruined it. Maybe Fatim stole the axe idea and was like, I'm going to make a flaming axe now. Yeah. Totally. Axe is my thing now. Yeah. I'm the axe guy in McCall. That's great. Yeah. So when he heard that there was someone else in McCall with an axe, he was like, Tuck. Tuck's here. He's here. You're not.

That's the stupid logic that these two idiots use. It's like the last person I saw with an axe was Tuck. So it's definitely. It's got to be him. Yeah. So it was definitely the light guard and it was a couple hours ago. Okay. What's about to happen? So you're standing around for a little bit and somebody comes in through the roof and it's just Shia. Oh, don't do that. Tuck is so on it. You smash the ladder. Yeah. He immediately is just like, and he like, just.

Just breaks the wall again that he smashed before. Cash's other favorite poster. Yeah. Fuck. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Big guy. Calm down. Okay. So I took care of those two. They were light guard for sure. I felt kind of bad after I whooped their asses, but they were just going to give you guys this. And she holds up a folded letter. I'll read it. I open it. And it's basically like. We have your friend. We have your friend. Meet us. Yes. Outside. The tetherball stadium. The tetherball stadium.

At midnight. At midnight. Don't bring weapons. Signed by. It's not signed by anybody, actually. You smell the whiff of gasoline upon the parchment. I smell it. And I'm like, Fatum. Fatum. And I turned to Shia. I'm like, did you see a giant guy who was like me, but mean? No, no, no, no. Just those two dweebs. Okay. Do you know Fatum? Oh, big guy. Smells like. Oh, it was. That was him. The guy that hired me. Wait. What? Fatum hired you? Yes. I told you that. Oh, right. Yeah, that's right.

I gave you all this information already. Sorry. So his name's Fatum. Why does he smell like that? It sucks. Okay. He has like an accelerant in his mace that like. Mace. Yeah. He's like a giant mace that he like fights people with. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure he had an ax. Whoa. Did he copy you? He took your thing. That fucking piece of shit. I'm the ax guy in this city. In this podcast. Are you guys going to meet this dude tonight? I guess so.

If we have to. Okay. Wait. Are we meeting Fatum? There's no way he's going to show up on his own. Yeah. Absolutely not. Okay. I guess we have to go to the tetherball courts tonight then. Do you want me to come to the tetherball courts? No. Not with him knowing that. But yeah, we could use some secret backup for sure. I could kind of watch from the rooftops. Sure. Do my thing? Yeah. Cool. Oh, I got it. Yeah. No, I got you. I've got a… I got a… I hit you with my… Ha. I hit you with my dart.

Yeah? Yeah. In my nipple right here. And I bit the shit out of you too. Yeah. Really hurt. And it didn't do anything? I guess not. I mean… Wow. It's pretty tough. Cool. I am in a bulk phase right now though. And I have been eating a lot of… Oh, right. And he goes and grabs more containers of protein powder. They're all gone. What? They've all been stolen. You find a light dusting… No! That's a good protein powder! He's gonna be huge when we see him.

That son of a bitch is copying my bulk phase. Tuck doesn't really understand how human metabolism works at all. No, absolutely not. He's just like, I need to be a bit stronger today. Well, I'll eat some of this. No. Okay, well, I mean, it works on most people. So I'll bring some darts and I'll bring my blowgun and I'll watch from the rooftops in case you need any help. That's great. Cool. Bring this beer. I already gave it to you. I gave it to you. And I give it back to you. I take it.

I give it back. We can't show up with weapons. What? Did it say that? And she takes the letter and she goes, oh yeah, no, down here it says don't bring weapons. Okay. Okay, well, we'll just hide. Yeah. So obviously… If you come unarmed, it'll look like you're at the disadvantage. But if you got me watching from the rooftops with my blowgun, you will be at equal footing probably. Yeah. Here. And I take Terry and Larry and Chad off my back. And I'm like, can you take this?

And then if I need it, throw it to me. Okay. Yeah. I'll take all your stuff and I'll find a way to get it. I'll hide it nearby. Okay. I give you my handful of rocks. She's just holding them in her hand. Okay. And she puts them in a pouch. Oh, and I feel like this goes without saying, don't tell anybody that I can turn into a giant snake. Please don't tell anybody. Your secret's safe with us. Okay. I see what you did there. Don't do that again. I find that extremely offensive. Whoa.

It's like the N word for snakes. That long ass. Okay. All right. I'll be there. You won't see me. Wink, wink. But I'll be there. Thanks. Okay. Wait, can we decide on a code word that if I say it, then you throw me the X because it means I need it? I'm going to be pretty high up because you're going to have to yell it. I'll yell it so loud. It pretty much yells everything. Do you want me to throw it to you or do you want me to hide it where you're going to be? I want you to throw it to me.

I feel like it would be cooler. Look, if it kind of just like fell into my hands, it's going to be so heavy. I turn to these guys. I'm like cooler, right? If it falls into my hands. Totally. Yeah. You know the cooler move. Yeah. It's going to be cooler if it just falls into my hands. Oh, my God. It's going to be cooler if it just falls into my hands. Can you also throw my rocks because it'll also be cooler. I feel like you guys aren't appreciating how hard it is to leap from rooftop to rooftop.

I think I have an idea. And at the right time, I want you to gently place the spear in my hand as from nowhere. Okay. I'll do. I'll work on it. Okay. Thank you. Okay. What's the code word, guys? One, two. Say it at the same time. One, two, three. Baklava. Go go gadget weapons. Yeah. Baklava. Baklava. That makes more sense. Okay. Baklava. I'll listen for Baklava. And I guess I'll be above you. Yeah.

Just be close enough that you can hear, but not close enough that they can see you, but close enough that you can throw all of our weapons at the same time to us so that they just land in our hands so we can fight. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I just need you to be. You need to meet them. So at the tetherball courts, have you been there before? I have. Okay. Yeah. So, you know, like Centaur Boulevard. Yes. So, Centaur Boulevard. And then there's Brazier Alley.

Yeah. Meet them in Brazier Alley. Okay. I can do that. Okay. I'll be above you. I'll be ready to go. Oh, this is exciting. Thank you. I'm doing a team operation with my bro and his friends and a little kid. Yay. Hey, that's your nephew. Oh, my nephew. My nephew. Yeah. But I didn't come from like his penis. Oh, okay. Oh, like. Oh. And she looks at Vang and Tuck and she's like, oh, that's really. Okay, cool. This is sweet. I like, man, instant family, you know, like this.

Adele's have been like a family to me. But now you're like, actually, family. Fuck. Yeah. I like it. And she's just like, okay, get the fuck out of here. Go, go, go. Go. Here we go. We go to the Tetherball Stadium. And you bump into Perel as you leave the door. And he goes, they took my journal. What journal? They took my journal. The journal that had all your, like, memories in it? No, we gave that one to. Oh, wait. And she's like, wait, which one did we give? Which one did we give Margani?

Oh, that was the one that you made with Aquaria. They might have took the one full of my memories. Oh, no. Shit. It's gone. Everything's gone. They took everything. They took all my hats. They took all my mustaches. Why the fuck would they want those? Just don't fuck with us. But they know that I'm a wizard. Fathom does. Oh, no. He doesn't care that my magic's gone. What are they going to do with your memories? I don't know. They're going to find a way. Don't worry, Perel.

We're going to get back because we're supposed to meet them tonight. Really? Yeah. And we're going to fight. And we're going to get back your diary. Okay. I should not be there, right? No. Yeah, for sure. Okay. All right. Definitely in the way. Hey, Billy, do you still have the little guy in your hair? Oh, yeah. Oman? I just pull him out. He's on my finger. Reep, reep, reep. Can somebody tell him that I need to hide out in the library? Oh, sure.

And his little paper wings unfurl and he goes, flies away. Okay. So that's where I'm going to be. I'm going to hide out in the library. And you send word. When? When? It's safe. Good luck. Good luck, Perel. Good luck. I kiss him on the cheek. I kiss him on the top of the head. I awkwardly stand there like not sure if I should hug him or not. So we cut to the Tetherball Stadium, the sports district. There are some like late night games happening.

There's some rowdy folks on the street like, you know, drunk soccer hooligans basically yelling, making a big show of being out here. Did a game just finish? Yeah. One's like getting out. And one's supposed to start like late night. Those are the ones where all bets are off. Tuck is like looking at the like the cards outside the stadium to see like who's playing. So who are the two people that are in the next boat? Bone Crusher. Who's like a new hot Tetherball player. And Ironfoot. Ironfoot.

He's a player. He's got two peg legs that are made out of iron. Sick. Two metal sticks for legs. Yeah. And he it said that he lost both his legs playing Tetherball. Yeah. And he never stopped playing. She's rough sport. And I'm like, Billy, this is going to be a good bout. What? Billy's looking at a food cart. He's not even paying attention. What? No, nothing. Never mind. There's a guy roasting like walnuts in their shells. Yeah. Wow. I smell so good. Yeah. So hungry. Yeah.

I'll get you some of those walnuts, bud. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And you hear in the distance, bong, bong, several more times. It's midnight, 12 times. Night noon. The noon of the moon. And you hear from behind you, what's up, you chunky monkey? And I whip around. And there's a cloaked figure, hood pulled low over his face.

Darkness surrounding him. You look better like that. Yeah, I thought so too. Yeah, it hides your stupid face. Whoa, it's that little kid. I hate that kid. He stabbed like four people last time I saw you. Totes. And I'll do it again. So, you're in town, huh? Yeah, we came back. When did you get into town? I don't have to tell you anything. You don't even know who I am. You can't see my face. I can smell you. I smelt you like 20 minutes ago. When you got off the tram, you smell like shit, man.

No, you don't know who I am. Look at my cloak. It's pulled so low over my face. Okay, let's all say it at the same time who this is. One, two, three. Fadum. God, fuck. And he pulls his head down. Okay, whatever. Fine. And you see like the pole of his weapon sticking up over his shoulder. Your pole is showing. That's not all that's going to be showing. You want to see the head, big boy? Jesus. That was not. Jesus, man. No. Put it away, Fadum. I'm a fucking kid. I'm not here. I'm nine.

What's wrong with you? He's disgusting. Hey, fuck you. That's not what this is about. Where's our roommate? Oh, don't worry. He's somewhere safe. Where? And he's like, I'm not going to tell you that. But he is looking to the side. Is he here? Did you bring him? No. Why would I do that? Okay, Cash. Cash. Yeah, I'm here. I'm here. Shut that fucking guy up. Are you okay? Okay, look. You want this guy back? You got to come with us. What? Why? We want the wizard.

And we want you all to stand trial for what you did. Aiding and abetting a dangerous magician. I'm not going anywhere. Yeah, we're not coming with you. We're just going to take our friend and go. Oh, you think so, huh? You think it's just me here? Well, guess what, buddy? I got you right where I want you. And you hear footsteps as four members of the light guard, nameless, faceless, fill in the alley behind you. And four more arrive out of doorways in the alley behind. Fathom.

Good old fashioned. And I spit a walnut into his mouth. As he's talking. All right. Good old fashioned. 26 plus dexterity. I'm going to use the good dice because I want this to work. Six. Oh, fuck. I will aid. Okay. Well, what were you at? I got six. I got six plus dexterity is six. I pat you on the back really hard. Yeah. Okay. Gives a little more oomph. All right. Two to six was bond. Seven. Seven. Perfect. Seven. Okay. Yeah. So you're just like good old fashioned.

And he spits it onto the ground. He goes, all right, fine. And he reaches up and grabs his weapon, pulls it off his back. And it's a big, like brass axe with holes in the side and like holes along the edge of it. And he grabs the back and twists it. And the whole thing lights on fire. We could have talked about this before I whooped your ass. But now I'm going to whoop your ass. We only have. One thing to say to you, piece of shit. Yeah. What's that? What's that supposed to do?

And you all stand there with your hands outstretched and nothing happens. Thing. Your sister fucked us. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long. Playing Ving, the half elf druid, Paul Oppers. Bye bye. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica. Good night. Good night. Thanks to Aaron Reed for our incredible, heartwarming, soul-wrenching intro and outro music.

And thank you to all of you, our wonderful supporters who support us in a way that supports our hearts and souls. You can find us online at Spellore most places, including patreon.com slash Spellore. Thanks a lot, everybody. Goodbye. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution.

Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And free. You are gladly Spellore. So when do you want to do the gift? Oh, yeah. We should do it now. Let's do the gift. Gift first? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh my God, Jessica. What? That was a little gift. Gift. She got so excited. She barfed a little bit. Sorry. Don't barf on a gift. I haven't had much to look forward to except for this. Like this whole week. Not a gift, I mean. Okay. So this gift is from…

We got a gift from a listener. Oh, thank you, listener. Look, it says Spellore on it. A listener named Brendan from the company Fantasy by Numbers was kind enough to send us a box. So exciting. To our PO box, which we do have. Yeah. And the address is, if you want to send us stuff. 1013-2480 East Hastings Street, Vancouver, BC. Victor 5, Kansas 1, Zulu 1. Man, no one's going to get that. No. That's pretty standard. What the fuck? That's pretty standard phonetic stuff.

I know, but it was the first one. I think it's PO Box 1013, and then the address is 2480 East Hastings Street. Oh, I see. I don't know how to send stuff to PO boxes, so I… That's it. That's all you do. 10… Ah, fuck. Whatever. Just send it to PO Box. Just fucking send us a message if you want the address, and we'll send it to you in a text. You know what? Just send it to PO's box. 54 Hampton Road, Vancouver, Victoria. Who's that? Who's that? Me, Paul Uppers. Oh, Paul Uppers. Okay. All right.

I'm going to try it again. Send it to 1013-2480 East Hastings Street, Vancouver, BC, V5K1Z1. There we go. I think that one… I think… We're putting all these in. Jessica, we… The whole thing's going to go in. Jessica, can you please give us a thing? Yeah, one from Jessica. She's got a nicer voice. No, I don't. Do a read. Send to… Send to Spoutlor. Jesus. What? Wow. There's spit on your leg. Wow. We're jumping on Jessica here. We're jumping on Jessica here, guys. Yeah.

So I'm the only woman and everyone's interrupting me and telling me how to say the address right. Ugh. Oh, so sorry. Send it to 1013-2480. Sorry, there's a hyphen between those. Just listen back. East Hastings Street, Vancouver, BC, V5K1Z1. Cool. I think that was the only Z. Zend his presence. I think we all said Z. I said Z. I love saying Z. Can't get enough of it. I didn't even say the postal code. So helpful. Send to East Hastings, Vancouver, BC. You'll get to us. Yeah.

My dad still, when he's talking on the phone to customer service representatives, he still uses military phonetics. It's so fun to make up your own. So I can hear… I can just hear him like, okay, so the number is 2555 Victor Kilo Zebra. I was like, dad. Stop calling in bomb. I'm ready. Zulu Hotel Charlie. Jesus Christ, man. Cool. Okay. Yeah. Let's open this fucking thing. Okay. Everybody grab an edge. There's four corners. There's four flaps. Here we go. Paper. Open the paper. Oh. What?

Whose is whose? Oh. It's a variety is what they sent. They're eggs. Yeah. They're dragon eggs. They look like little mini versions of the eggs from Game of Thrones. There's dice inside? And they're dice. Oh my God. They sent us dice too. Whoa. This is sick. This. Oh, and they're magnetic. They're magnetic. Yeah. The tops are magnetic. That's how they look. Oh my God. Listen. Oh. It's the magnets. So what they are is they're 3D printed dragon eggs for holding your dice. Dude, who?

Look at yours is blue. Did we all pick the one we want? I told him I wanted unicorn colors, which I think… That's unicorn colors. That's unicorn colors. I don't get to use dice because I'm the game master. But you still get to keep one. These dice are fucking pretty. Oh my God. So I'll keep these ones if people don't want them. Didn't I get one that was Taylor and Chad colored? Yeah. Oh yeah. Is that this one? That's like copper and… No. That one. I think it's this one.

It's like copper and purple. And then yours is the amethyst. Oh, and one of them… Wait. There's also this one. Oh, there's another one. That one's like his hands. Wait. Why didn't he send five? One of them is supposed to be like cerulean depths as well. Oh my God. Oh, sick. I think this is cerulean depths. This one is the Ving one. Oh yeah. Is that one the Ving one? Yeah. Man. Brandon. She got so mad. I'm sorry. I just… Oh, so the 140 year old in the group is jumping all over. I'm sorry.

Jessica, that's the only time your channel's ever peaked in five years. Fucking Brandon. What did I say? Brandon? Yeah. Brandon from Fantasy by Numbers. Check him out online, I guess. Oh my gosh. He's kick ass. Yeah. This is awesome. We'll take a picture. Oh. Yeah. White ones. Come dice. Yes. Well, no. Gross. I'm sorry. What were you guys thinking? I was going to say, because he was… He was talking about how he wanted…

He wished that he had Mother of Pearl 3D printing stuff, but the dice are Mother of Pearl. Oh, sick. Oh my gosh. That's so cool. He's so nice. This fucking rules. I'm so pumped about this. That's awesome. I haven't gotten new dice in like five years easy. Are we using these today? Might as well. Yeah. Yeah. Look at these ones, guys. Wow. Oh my gosh. Those are so pretty. Paul, what are yours like? They are blue and purple. Oh. Amethyst. Oh, yeah. Oh my God. Awesome. They're stunning.

These ones are really cool too. This is sick. This fucking rules. Give me your bubble wrap. Man, it really honestly sounds like I'm playing it up for like ad purposes. I'm not. I'm so excited. We're not getting paid. This is fucking sick. We got paid huge. Look at this. Yeah. This is money in the bank. This is payment. These are dragon eggs. Yeah. You know how much we could sell these on the fantasy black market? No. Five dollars probably. No. I think he charges… Actually a lot more.

Oh, really? Well, I should hope so. They're like high quality. Man. This is really nice. Thank you, Brandon. Yeah, this is really nice. Thank you. Thank you so much. Brandon. Brandon, I said. Oh, right. Yeah. Oh my God. Those mother of pearl dyes are nice. I know. He was so nice because he was like, what would you guys like? And I was like, well, let me tell you. Look at this mint. I want impossible colors. I would like… I'm open to anything, but also I'm very picky. That's just… That's…

That's my favorite thing about Jessica. She always says, no, I'm good with anything, but she's one of the most particular people I've ever met. He also sent them twice. Yeah. They got lost or something like that. He sent them last Christmas and they got lost. Yeah. He sent them again. Very sweet. Somebody out there has got our dice and you enjoy them because these are awesome.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Shad's got hard big dick energy, it's crazy. It's crazy. Good evening, and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian Abdullah Zees. Hey what's up fat daddy. Playing Ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers. Girthy game master what you got.

Playing Billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai. Hi. She's just so proud of herself. I think something to consider is that Maybe people don't want to have to hear about it. All right. Do it again. Do it again. Yeah. Good evening, everybody. And welcome to the second run through of the intro for this episode of Spout Lore, because the last one was too inappropriate, even for our standards. Joining me as always played Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdulaziz. You're. No.

Playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdulaziz. Hi. Hello, everybody. Here's the boring intro where we don't talk about shine. No. Playing being the half out druid, Paul Loppers. The thing is that Jessica says she. I think it's just because. We kind of believe all this out. They're playing that Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica tie. Okay. My. And also I use the smallest. All the time. Cannot get it out. It hurts to put it up. That sucks. Yeah. So what you're thinking? Yes. Absolutely happened.

Okay. Yeah. And if you want to, if you want to hear the unedited version patrons. Too bad. Also, what do you do with a period cup that you can't use on your own? You know, you prank your friends, I guess. Sell it on the black market. Yeah. Use it for crafts. I would. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You make popsicles in it because they can turn them inside out. Are they silicone? Yeah. Oh, you can make like poached eggs. An egg can't fit in it though. Oh, God. Little guy. Oh, it's too easy.

Oh, a bunch of eggs can fit in there. This is the yolk. Yeah. Technically a bunch. Good. Jesus Christ. Okay. Here we go. Game time. When last we left our heroes, they had sprung a trap upon the famed garden snake of McCall. A fight ensued in which everybody was doing pretty well. Billy like lassoed her with a bed sheet. Ving trapped the bed sheet in the door. So she was restrained. She was trying to cut herself loose. Billy stole the knife. Tuck kicked the door off a closet.

Hit Ving who ping ponged the door into the garden snake. People were getting slapped. People were getting punched. People were getting thrown in pillowcases. People were also turning into 30 foot long King Cobras. She's a shapeshifter. She is a shapeshifter. She has what looked like a series of tattoos running down both of her arms, but are in fact the diamond pattern bands of the Cobra. Oh, that's her. Oh, her tell is, is the snake bands on her arms. Cool. Yeah. Cool.

Um, it was either going to be that I was trying to think of what her tell could be. I was like, maybe snake eyes. That's too obvious because I wanted it to be the thing where you didn't know necessarily. But if you looked her in the eye and you saw snake eyes, you'd be like, oh, she's a snake. Oh, she's either a snake or a vizier. Look into my cane. But that would be me. That's the best line in any Disney movie. Uh, yeah.

She turned into a 30 foot long King Cobra and the fight got a little bit scarier from there. Billy stabbed her through the tail. Ving held her down and then tucked through in a pillowcase. After the fight ended, we discovered that the spear that she stole from the apartment that belonged to Ving's father also belonged to her father because they are the same father. Jeez. Weez. She is Ving's half sister. Pretty cool. Cool. Family reunion. We're taking her at her word.

And when that was like being figured out, like in the middle of it, Tuck went into like Sherlock Holmes mode in his head where he was like, her father owns the spear and also his father owns the spear. And then it was like a family tree diagram that generated. And then he was like, but how can two men own the same spear? And then it's like, it started saying, it's like, maybe they're from different universes. And then he's like, maybe they're twin brothers who shared a spear.

This whole time we're talking about how we have the same dad. Yeah. You guys had already. Yeah. And then you like, can't you come to from your own like brain? You're like, oh, oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. You guys are brother and sister. Uh huh. And that conversation went on for a little bit, a little bit of detail here and there. Her mom was a merchant of some kind who used to make trips to the principalities in the great forest. She didn't say what for.

But if you think back, there's probably a thing that we've already seen. Oh, you mean the ironwood? The ironwood. Oh, that's why I've been in the elven forest to buy ironwood from the elves. Cool. And bring it back to the prince, to McCall, to build the library shelves. Cool. And okay. So things that we learned about the garden snake, her real name is Shia. She is hiding out with the Siddell family. The family that is responsible for the garden snake.

The family that is responsible for the upbringing of McCall's viziers. Uh, she is in her seventies, but she looks like she's 20, like late teens, early twenties. And she has basically just been, you know, behind palace walls kind of hiding out because they, she doesn't want to give away the fact that she's extremely long lived. Yeah. And she offered to let you guys hide out with her in her home because she found you and the jackals found you.

So it'd be pretty easy for the light guard to find you at cash. His apartment. His apartment. His apartment. His apartment. His apartment. His apartment. His apartment. Oh, and that was the other thing she told us was that the light guard hired her. Yes. To toss our place. Yeah. Basically to confirm that it was you three. Yeah. And hopefully Perel. And now they know Perel because they stole his journal. Right. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Damn. And they stole our roommate. Yeah. They kidnapped Cash.

So we've gone on a journey to go save him. Oh, yes. In preparation for this midnight clandestine meeting with the light guard to recover their friend Shia in her room. Your garden snake guys has agreed to wait on the rooftops above your meeting place with your weapons and drop them at the code word Baklava, which is not really a code word so much as a thing you all shouted as a non sequitur. And after calling out Baklava, you held your hands out waiting for your weapons to drop.

And there was a long moment where nothing happened. And that is where we find our heroes now. She fucked us. Fuck. And then your weapons drop into your hands. Ow. Do you guys want to roll? Should we be rolling to catch these weapons? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So it's all going to be dexterity. Two to six plus dexterity for everybody. Oh, hell yeah. Ten. Sick. Here we go. Seven. Okay. Nine. Okay. So Billy's the only one that succeeds outright. What did she take for Billy? Rocks? Yeah. My handful of rocks.

So they fall down like rain. And instead of catching them, I slap them. Slap them and punch them so that they ping pong off all the light guards who have cornered us. Cool. Yeah. Sick. So do I roll for that? We'll say what happens to these guys' weapons first. So on a seven to nine, partial success. I mean, I stuck out my moss hand to make it more dramatic. And it just went right through my moss hand. And so it's in your hand, but it's harder to use. Yeah. Yeah.

So you're going to have to do another defy danger if you want to actually use it. In an attack. Damn it. Yeah. Larry, Terry, and Chad. It falls most of the way and gets stuck in the wall of a building that you're next to within reach, but you might have to jump for it. Oh, fuck. What's the orientation? Where's the axe and where's Fatim? So Fatim is right there at that wall. So like what? 10 feet away. Yeah. Like 10 feet in front of us. So close. Yeah.

And then four faceless light guard mooks behind you. And then four behind Fatim. Okay. These guys look like they were pretending to be like tetherball hooligans. Oh, yeah. So they're just wearing like I heart bone crusher. Shiny shorts. Yeah. And there's a dumpster next to Billy. In my mind, I was just imagining a dumpster next to Billy. I don't know why. Cool. Yeah. And where's the axe? In the wall next to Tuck. Oh, it's just in the wall. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

She tried to drop it towards you, like give it a little push, and it went too far. And the stone cutting axe. Chopped into the wall. That's probably why it took so long for her to get it. Because she was ready. And then she looked down. She's like, how the fuck am I going to? It's a bunch of loose rocks. An axe and a spear. And they're like, 60 feet down. I can't aim that well. This axe is so fucking heavy, too. Yeah. So that's where we are. And Billy is in a position to attack right away.

So what does Billy do? Who are you going for? All of them. I have eight rocks. You can attack one of them at a time. No. I'm slapping the rocks. Okay. Fine. You don't get a fucking area. A dude behind me. Okay. He has a big forehead. Okay. Fat forehead. Seven. Seven. Great. So on a seven and nine with volley, you take what you can get, which means that you roll your damage and then roll a D4 and subtract that. Okay. Or you have to move to get your shot and you put yourself in danger.

I'm going to take what I can get. Okay. So roll your damage. Dang it. One. One. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay. And then, yeah, roll a D4. No. Wow. Wow. Oh, man. Bad luck. You roll a one on a one. Unfortunately, no damage. Wow. He has a really thick forehead, too. Yeah. So it's like bullet time. The rocks fall like rain. And it's just like slow movements as you connect with the rocks. They miss, miss, miss, hit a guy softly in the chest and it bounces right off. Dang. It just goes. My bunny hug.

He looks down at his chest and goes, huh? What was that? It's a rock. Okay. Normally, they kill people. Yeah. And yeah, they all start converging. Fatum lights up his axe. Bing, what do you do? Fight with honor roll. Enter a fight roll plus const. There we go. Twelve. And what do you get? Three hold or whatever? I get three holds. Okay. I can use them however I want. Do you want to spend any right now? Okay. I'll deal. My. Damage to a foe within my reach. Who's closest to me?

The guys behind you. Probably. Okay. I'll spear slap hand backwards. All right. One. What does this hit look like? I just kind of backhand him. Yeah. And he. I say, shut up. You a face. And you spend so much time telegraphing as you're saying, shut up at your face. When you swing, he actually just ducks his head back and you miss him. Damn it. No. Not even a glancing blow. Their training means that they have armor one. Shit. Yeah. And Fatum has more than that. Yeah. Tuck, what do you do?

Fatum starts coming. He starts stalking right towards you. Oh, no. He's like, oh, yeah. Dumpsters right next to Billy, you said. Yeah. So he wants to jump onto the dumpster, jump up and grab the axe. Oh, yeah. Bring it down on Fatum. Okay. So defy danger dexterity to do your cool acrobatics. Oh, yeah. Nine. Nice. All right. All right. So you jump up onto the dumpster, jump across the alley again, reaching out for Larry Terry and Chad. Grab it. Rip it out of the wall.

And then push away against the wall and then come down on Fatum. Okay. Roll hack and slash. 2d6 plus strength. 12. 12. Okay. I think the seven to nine is that he's going to get you. Roll 2d10. Five. Okay. Yeah. You do that. You bring your axe down and he is not terribly expecting such an acrobatic maneuver from Tuck. So you bring your axe down on him, catch him in the shoulder. Roll your damage. Oh, a one. No. Fuck. And he has your armor, right? Oh, yeah. Fuck. Yeah.

You he's he's wearing that cloak and you bring it down on his shoulder and you feel it hit something hard underneath and glance right off to the side. And as you come down, he's just holding his axe in both hands like a lacrosse stick and he bashes you right in the face with the handle. And you take five damage. Oh, whoa. Damn. Tuck. Billy, the melee is on. Ving is engaged. The foreman behind. You. Yeah. Tuck is between the others and you. What do you do?

I want to grab a rock and switch that for Fatim's axe. Wow. It's switcheroo. Makes sense. Cool. Yeah. Okay. So you pick up a rock and you just like will yourself to take the axe from his hands. Like I see Fatim smash Tuck in the face and I get really mad. I'm like, how dare he? So I pick up a rock and I chuck it and like in my throw it leaves and I catch the axe. So you don't take his full axe. What? Yeah. That's something that you've never tried it with something that someone's holding before.

But what you do get in your hand is a very slick and pungently smelly like little metal tube. And it's just in your hand and Tuck you see after a few seconds as you're kind of tussling with Fatim that the head of his axe goes out. And when I see that happen, I'm like, man, those things really don't work that well. Hey, and he's like slapping the bottom of it and just like, oh, and he gets angry. And I use the distraction to knee him in the balls. Okay. Hack and slash.

A real quick hack and slash. Yeah. Oh, holy shit. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Roll your damage. Roll damage. Six. Whoa. That was great. Really snuck that in there. Yeah. You hit him in whatever sort of armored like he it feels like he's wearing chain under the pants that he's wearing. Yeah. He's wearing an armored cod piece, but I feel it pretty hard. Oh, yeah. And he goes like and backs up a little bit. Ving. The four guys that were behind you and Billy are basically trying to surround you.

They've got their swords out at the ready. They're doing that thing where they're slowly trying to form a circle around you within the confines of the alley. What do you do? I'm going to break free from confinement with my chi. Perfect. And get on the outside of them. Can we do something together? Yes. Can I throw you the gross thing? Yes, please. And then you use your elements to explode a bomb around them. That's fucking cool. Yeah. Great. So I'll use my.

My second chi to get out of their confinement. Yeah. Up into. I use their. Because it's cool out here. So the breath. So I jump on their breath as it's coming out of their mouth. Oh, come on. Light as a feather. Yeah. I mean, you can even do a thing where like you're kicking off their bodies. You know what I mean? Like you're jumping up, kicking off one, two, and then you're on the other side. Yeah. So you're now like outside of the ring of them. Billy throws me the canister.

I grab the rocks from the hole that tucks out. Axe made. And I launch a bunch of flaming bricks at the guys. Pretty cool. So this is going to be elemental mastery. Yes. Yeah. 2d6 plus constitution. Come on. Big blammo. Oh. Big fail. Oh. Four. No. Shit. Are you on the side with Billy or are they between you and Billy? They're between. So you still pull it off, but roll your damage. Which is d6. Three. Three. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

On this side of the alley. Like you try to do this cool thing. Meteor shower. But what you do is you basically like the accelerant tube is pushed along and it explodes. And they all get hit with a bunch of burning gas. And so do you and Billy. So everybody takes that damage. Dang. And Tuck, you're tussling with Fatum. You knee him in the balls. He's trying to hit you with his ax. There's a huge explosion behind you. What do you do? Wait. Do I? I don't have my ax. Do I have my ax? Yeah.

You have your ax. Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay, then I want to take TLC and then just try and cut the head off of his axe. Yeah. Hack and slash. Yeah. Six, seven, eight. Okay. Roll your damage. Ten. Jesus fucking Christ. Oh, my God. That's a huge hit. Yeah. Just tell me what this looks like. You hit him hard. I guess I just swing the axe. He's holding it kind of like two thirds and one third. I slice right through the head of the axe, and then the amethyst spike on the back slices across his face.

It catches his eye. Oh, no. Oh, shit. You swing down. It's this massive swing. It shatters the head of his axe. The spike and the mechanisms inside just burst, and he is both burnt and cut on one side of his face. Oh, fuck. And he bellows in rage. Chunky monkey. No, it's like he's not even trying to be cool. He's not even trying to be cool and tough anymore. He's just bellowing like an animal. Yeah. And the four behind him are like, uh, uh-oh. Tuck feels bad about that.

And it's at this point that you hear a noise that reminds you that there's a secondary goal here, and you hear the voice of Cash in the building to your right screaming, I'm in here. Oh, no. I'm in here. Billy and Ving, what do you do? I have tricks of the trade. Okay. Yeah. So you run up to the door that's like between. You jump up and try the handle, and it is locked. Wiggle in my stick. Nine. Plus dexterity. Eleven. Bam. Huge. You work this lock like nobody's business. So fast. Yeah.

Cash, I'm coming for you. And Ving, I assume you're following Billy? No. I guess you're fighting that crowd of people. Yeah, I've got a crowd of people now, and they're half on fire. Yeah, they're like singed. Did I? And they're pissed off. Did we take my consequence for Elementor Mastery? You go. Oh, yeah. What was your? Miss. Oh, it was a full miss? Well, yeah. I got a four or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, something catastrophic happened. Mm-hmm.

Maybe part of the building that you're next to, like you manipulating the brickwork means that that building starts to collapse next to you. Oh, it speaks to the brickwork. Yeah. They're like, we're free. Fire Wi-Fi. Yeah. Like it's basically the building next to you is starting to crumble. Oh, my God. And that's the one Cash is in. Yeah. That is the one that Cash is in. So the building starts to come down at the end of the alley. I've really done it now. Yeah.

And Tuck, you hear this massive crash behind you as part of the wall falls down and the rest of the building starts to follow it. What do you do? Yeah. So Fatum is really mad right now. Yep. Can he see? Actually, probably not very much because, I mean, he's lost an eye and he has another one, but he also just lost an eye. So I imagine his other one's not working great. It's full of tears. Yeah.

So Tuck takes the broad side of his axe and he's just going to like fucking baseball bat Fatum in the head just to try and knock him out. Hack and slash. Seven. Roll your damage and then roll. Double 2d10. Two. Mm-hmm. And then eight. Yeah. You bash him and it's like he's so angry that he didn't notice, but he takes the shattered axe pole that he's holding and he just stabs it right into your chest. Fuck. I know.

He holds it back like he's going to throw a javelin and just jams it right into your chest. You're such a dick. Billy, you're inside a building that starts to shake around you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Lying on the ground in an empty room. Oh my God, Billy. Billy. Yeah, it's me. What the hell? What's going on? There's a fight outside. I don't have time to explain. Let's get you out of here. Okay, fine. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, 2d6 plus dexterity. Eight. You cut cash out of it really quickly as the building rumbles around you. Yeah. And just as you cut the bonds on his wrists and legs, the doorway that you came in through collapses. Oh no. And it's just full of rubble and timbers. What do you do? Oh, escape route. Oh, escape route. Yeah. Escape route's perfect. Five, seven. Okay, so what happens on a seven and nine? Seven to nine, I can stay or go, but it costs me.

Leave something behind or take something with you. The GM will tell you what. Yeah, you're like, okay, get up, get up. Come on, we're good. What's the escape route that Billy finds? All the timber and stone that's collapsed. It still leads to the hallway, but you're basically like leaping through the timber, holding up like crumbling roof. Yeah, nice. And you're like pushing cash through it. Like go this way, move your leg this way.

And you get out of the building as Tuck is wrestling with a screaming phantom. Got an X handle sticking out of my chest. Oh no. Ving. Ving's kind of freaking out because he went in the house to go find Billy and Billy's already out there with cash and the whole thing's crumbling. Oh yeah. Where you went to go, like where you were going is all crumbled and he's like digging through the rubble. Oh no. Yeah. Oh, the thing that you left behind is Ving. It's Ving.

So yeah, Billy, you run your hand across your forehead and think about. Oh my God, my luck is so good. And then you hear Billy. As the doorway that Ving went through crumbles. Ving, you're trapped in this building that's collapsing. What do you do? That I did to myself. I'm out here. Ving, what do you do? Shit. Shit. I'll use Liza's feather to dance across the falling bricks. Okay, cool. Yeah, you see like staircases that would lead to the higher levels in the building.

But they're just like, they already broke off. Yeah, it's just like little pieces of flinder. Yeah. Falling wood. Falling wood. The roof might be the safest way to get out of here before the building collapses. Nice. Plus dexterity? Yeah, 10. 10, great. So you do it. You dance along the falling rubble. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.

Okay, so you see like moonlight coming in through a hole in the roof as the building's falling down and you're jumping off bricks, jumping off pieces of wood, jumping off clouds of dust that drift across the alley. And you just get to the top of this and you're a little bit, too short to grab the edge of the rooftop. I throw my spear up as like a last ditch. It's like, and I have the rope in my hand.

And the spear is snatched out of the air and you hang tight on this rope as you're lifted up to the rooftop. The face of Shia, the garden snake, peeking in through the roof. The hell are you doing in here? I'm fucking shit up. I brought the building down. I think I might've killed Billy. Oh my God, what have I done? It's fine. Just get up here. And she yanks you onto the roof. We got to go to the other building right now. We're there. She runs, jumps. You behind her. Tuck. Screaming, Fatim.

Yeah, and he just stabbed me in the chest. Yeah, really hard. I should probably run away. Right? Yeah, at this point. I'm at like five HP. Oh my God, get the fuck out of there. That might be the closest you've been to dying like ever. Yeah, pretty bad. Holy shit. I mean, we have cash. We should go. Yeah, we have cash. Yeah. Okay. We got where we came from. Okay, yeah. I'm going to try and book it. Where's Billy? He's like behind you. He brings cash out of the building.

He's like, I imagine you yell. Yeah, let's fucking get out of here. Okay. Bing sees you guys down there. He's like, guys, I'm up here. Do I have to roll the bucket? Oh, yeah, because he's going to try and stop you for sure. Oh, fuck. He's like in berserker mode. So defy danger dexterity. Okay. Okay, well, 12. Fuck, guys. So he's like reaching out at you with his bare hands, and he's just screaming and growling. And as you run away, he's like, oh, fuck.

He's tripping over himself trying to grab you. And he drags himself forward a little bit, and then he just collapses into a pile, and you're gone and away. And we lose ourselves in the crowd of people emptying out of the tetherball stadium. Yep. Yeah. Gone and away. There's great commotion. Fire people are coming. Librarians are coming to put out the fire. Exactly. Yeah, it's a huge thing that you're very easily able to get lost in, and you disappear. Good God. Where do you guys meet up?

I guess like a couple streets over. Tuck just stopped so he could pull the axe handle out of his chest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it just clatters to the ground. You got a gaping hole in your chest. Can I put a poultice on it? Yeah. Do you have a poultice? I got one. There you go. What does that heal? Heals seven damage. There we go. Seven? Holy shit. And that's healing that basically will come like over the next couple hours.

Like he packs it, and you start feeling less pain, and then we'll slowly heal it. And Cash is like leaning against a, like, garbage can, just panting. You need to work out more. Nothing happened to you. Nothing happened to me? Oh, my God. You got tied up, and you're laying down. Just chill. I was dragged out of my home. I had a bag thrown over my head by, who was it? Was that the light guard? Yes. What? Was this, did I do something? No. Did you guys do something? Yes. Uh-oh. Oh, no?

I wasn't going to admit to that. What'd you do? Nothing. Nothing. What did you do? It was an accident, because I see Tuck looking at me like, don't. Stop. We're going to get evicted. Oh, shit. Evicted? I was dragged out of my home. They know where I live. I can't go home. I guess you should come with us. Where? Ving's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi, I'm Shia. She's like in her non-garden snake. Her hair's down, her veil's off, all that shit. She's like, hi, I'm Shia.

I would be happy for you to stay at my home if you promise not to tell anybody. And Cash is like, uh. He looks at the three of you. Sorry, pal. This is our only option right now. We'll make it right for you. All my stuff is in my house. It's fine. We'll get you new stuff. All my protein powder. You don't use it. I was so close to getting through one of them. Let's just go. We don't want to tell him that it was Tuck. There's mostly me eating it.

Every time he takes a teaspoon out of it, there's like six cups missing. Yeah. Yeah. And Shia takes you through. She takes you to the rich part of the lower ward. The sun is starting to come up now. And there's a really nice, beautiful park. Very well tended grounds. Even some like guards patrolling the park itself. Some people going to work. And she takes you to what looks like a. Like an old fountain works. And she takes you around the back where it's kind of obscured by a bunch of bushes.

And she goes, okay. You guys can't tell anybody about this either. Okay. Okay. Just don't tell anybody. And she takes her pinky and she pokes it into a part of the stonework and a little button presses and part of the fountain drops into the ground, revealing a staircase that goes down into the darkness. Oh, fucking sick. And the water from the top of the fountain sprays in like a huge umbrella that obscures the area surrounding the fountain as the back of the fountain works itself drops away.

Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Staircase descending into darkness. Cool. We head down there. Yeah. She takes you through what looks like a, it might've been like a smuggler's tunnel, something like that. Some sort of weird old disused secret entrance. Can I ask you a question? Like as we're walking through? Of course. Yeah. Like just why is there like all these underground tunnels? Oh, I actually heard something pretty fun about this.

So this goes to, this goes to my room, which is apparently the former, bedroom of a Sadell noble woman. And when she was young, she used to apparently use this tunnel to sneak out and meet her secret lover. Oh, cool. Yeah. So now I use it to get in and out because nobody knows that it's here. Oh, nice. Everybody just assumes it's a story. And you eventually come to another staircase that goes up to a stone, like a flagstone that she lifts up and slides to the side.

And you come out in a very beautifully appointed bedchamber. Huge four poster bed, beautiful silk sheets, many cushions, a chaise lounges, tapestries, paintings, flowers, like almost irresponsibly tall ceilings. You know what I mean? Like they're so high that her room is just got this like palatial kind of birdcage feel. Bing falls face down on the chaise lounge. Holy shit. This place is like the biggest room I've ever been inside of. Oh, this isn't the whole thing. What?

I thought this was the whole palace. Oh, no. This is just where my bed. That is. Wow. Yeah. So shy is just like, you all look beat to shit. What happened? I was kind of watching, but it was hard to see. I'm sorry, but being on the rooftop to keep an eye on you in that alleyway was not a good idea for a lot of reasons. I tried to do something out of my wheelhouse. I mean, causing a catastrophe is in my wheelhouse. It might be my wheelhouse. Yeah. There was an explosion. Oh, God. Was that you?

Yeah. I was trying to use. I was trying to use a fat. I'm a fire starter. Axe body spray. And it got out of hand. You brought down that building. Yeah. I brought down that building. That's so cool. Is it? I'm so sorry that you went through that, but it's pretty cool. How are you doing? She looks at tuck. I'm fine. Why do you ask? You're bleeding a lot. You look really pale. The poultice has come off a little bit, and there's just like a small, small pool. Oh, my God. I'm bleeding a lot of blood.

It's coming out with your heartbeat. Yeah. And I just pack it back down. I'm like, I'm fine. And what about you, little guy? Oh, I'm fine. Just, you know, just soot. I'm pretty used to that, though. Oh, this is just dirt. You're okay besides that? I think so. I mean, all my hands. She puts her hands on her hips. You want to take a bath? No. Oh. No. Oh, you're not a bath kind of? I seize up. And I'm like, no. Ving and Tucker, like, put their fingers across the throat. Like, no, no, no, no.

We don't use the B word. I just thought that I have, like, a really nice bathtub with, like, a lot of oils. And, like, soaps. No. Wow. Soap. Okay. All right. Okay. You don't have to take a bath. Please don't make me. Please don't make. I look at Tuck and Ving. Please don't make me. You don't have to. I'll take you up on that bath. Yeah. Okay. I'm glad somebody will. He pulls, like, soaps, eps and salts out of his flaps. You brought those to a fight? I bring these everywhere.

She basically has her own wing. That's cool. Of one of the buildings on the, one of the several buildings on the Siddal grounds. Wow. So we'll do a quick, she gives you a little tour of her wing of the building. So I want each of you to establish, like, a room that you come into, basically. Starting with Abdul. There's an indoor tennis court. But tennis isn't the same thing that it is in our world. Yeah. Tennis is actually. Highlight in this universe. So it's like. It's just another sport.

It's highlight. It's basically highlight. You wear a scoop on your arm and you whip a ball back and forth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, yeah, this is where I get, you know, some exercise doing what I do. It's good to keep my cardio up. Keep my agility up. Hand-eye coordination. I mostly do it by myself because nobody comes in here, but it's pretty fun. Hey, we're not nobody. Oh, my God. We should play. Okay. Yeah. No, we'll do that. We'll do. Should we do it? No, we'll finish the tour.

I'm getting the vibe. Not now. Not now. Okay. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. And she takes you to the next room. It's a beautiful solarium full of plants. Wow. So many plants. Crystal clear glass, but it's really high up. So it's like bouncing refracted light down from other places. Yeah. There's a little offshoot with sunstone. That's like a nursery for plants. There's growing cuttings and stuff under the sunstone light. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

There's tons of tropical plants and medicinal plants and lots of cool, like really old. Some of these and things just like, I've never seen this. I've heard that they exist, but I can't find them in the wild. He's going around. So impressed with all that. That's awesome. Crazy plants. And I would like to spend some time here and make some poultices and herbs out of this because I just ran out. Yeah, that's great.

So that'll allow you to basically refill three uses or whatever as you're resting here. And she walks by like some. She takes you to the cuttings zone. She takes you to the cuttings zone where there's a lot of medicinal and like poisonous herbs and stuff like that. She was like, yeah, this is actually pretty cool. I've had a lot of time to read about stuff and study. And I use some of these to make it so my venom isn't lethal. We got to scale back. Oh, wow. Yeah. Like I take them. I meditate.

I go in and out of my form. And now my venom is non-lethal. That's so cool. That is very cool. It's pretty cool, right? It's a paralytic now. Wow. I think that's so cool. Do you use poison as a thief? I used to. When I. I. I. Yeah. Sometimes. Do you want more poison? Yes. Okay, cool.

So I will actually for Jessica, for your sake, what I will say is that because you don't have poisoner, that just means that whenever you use a poison, if you fuck up a role, you're potentially going to poison yourself. It sounds about right. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. Because poisoner meant like as long as he used it once, he was safe from it. Right. Yeah. But not anymore. So it's all going to be like that situation in a little. Yeah. Pretty much. Or she's like, oh. What?

I could give you some of my venom. I look at Ving and I'm like, can I? I mean, if you want to milk her for her venom. I'll milk myself. Thank you very much. I do not need to be milked. And we move on to the next room, Jessica. Oh, it's like a covered patio ish that you just walk out onto. And it's like an outdoor reading area. And there is her pet. Oh. Can I give her a pet? Yeah, totally. Okay. What's her pet? Any ideas? I kind of want it to be like exotic. I want. Okay. Yeah.

Like one of those northern wolves, like from the northern. Timberwolf? Whatever you're from. Arctic wolf. Yeah, an arctic wolf. You know. Really big. It's really big and silver white. Blue eyes. Oh, man. Fluffy baby. Look at this guy. Like maybe. I mean, because I like an animal, but big. It's like, you know, four, five feet off the ground. It's a horse at the shoulder. Oh, my God. Like a pony. Yeah. Princess Mononoke. Oh, my God. You have a huge bear. No, he's not a bear. He's. Oh, it's in it.

What's a good name for a wolf? Oh, Wolfenstein. Half wolf. Half R.L. Stein. Slippers. Slippers is pretty cute. Yeah, sure. Slippers. Slippers three. Yeah. Yeah. She's had three wolves. Or three pets named Slippers. Slippers the third. Yeah. No, she's not a bear. And she runs up and starts like ruffling the sides of the wolves. Who's one of my slippers? Yeah. This is Slippers three. She's a cutie pie. I run over. She's cute. Yeah, she's nice. She's really nice. Wow. So big. Can I pet you?

She's just like. Thank you. Wow. So soft. Thick fur. Your hands just sink into it. Oh, Billy puts his face in the fur. Yeah, she's pretty great. She's really my only. She's pretty great. She's really nice to have around. She's so soft and comfortable. I lean over to Ving. I'm like, I think your sister's really lonely. No, that's not my sister. Oh, her. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Oh, right. You can talk to animals. You're going to talk to this wolf. Yeah.

Ving goes up to the wolf and lays down for a minute and exposes his belly to her doing great shit. Yes, you show me the proper deference. She bows low to the ground. You are a great tundra wolf. Thank you. I have roamed far from home to this sweltering prison. No, no, no. This sweltering land. But I am treated kindly by this young girl. How far you have found yourself upon these shores. I have. I know not how far. I crossed the ocean as a pup. And here I am. Many years later. You are gracious.

You are gracious to keep guard with this woman. I would protect her with my life. And I would too. For she is my half sister. And that makes you my pet. My half pet. Who's my slippers? You're my slippers. And she goes, I am. I am your slippers. And she scratches my head. Yes. Nugget, nugget, nugget, nugget. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. And Shia is just watching you go like. And her go. And now you're rolling around on the ground. I want to blow her a kiss, but make it like an ice kiss.

And she closes her eyes and her fur ruffles as she feels the icy winds of her homeland for the first time. Yeah. We are of the same place. She breathes deeply. And she is at peace. And she dies. Bing is re-traumatized. No, she's just having a great time. She loves you. And she and Shia is. Like, I knew it. I knew she would like you. I knew she would like you. She explains this to you. She's like, yeah, so the Siddels let me stay here. I just kind of keep to myself.

They bring me food every once in a while. I can ask for it. But they just make sure that nobody comes in here. And nobody knows that I live here. So the Siddels keep her inside their compound, which nobody else has access to. The Siddels are one of the richest and probably the most politically influential families in McCall. Probably on the continent. Probably, yeah, on this side of the world, for sure. What are they getting out of this arrangement? Yeah, why do they let you live here?

Like I said, my mom was a family friend. And she really helped them out. There needs to be more information than just that. Why? Because, like, that's all. Like, look at this. What kind of favor are we talking? Because fucking people suck, man. Like, I went to the soup kitchen last week. And, like, just because I had four helpings, they wouldn't give me a fifth. And it's like, it's soup. It's not that expensive. It's expensive. Like, how come I can't have soup?

You know, people aren't nice enough to give me soup. But they're nice enough to give you a castle. Like, there must be a reason. I see what you mean. Yeah, Billy's kind of starting to grasp the wealth disparity. Yeah. Are you hungry? Finally. Like, no one ever asks. And Cash is like, Billy, we ask all the time. Not enough. Not enough. And, yeah, so we're going to definitely get some food for Billy. But first, you were asking her, why do the Siddles care about you? What's the favor?

What did your mom do for them? Yeah. So, okay. Well, from what I understand, like, 70-something years ago, the Siddles had a kid who was being threatened in some way by somebody. Like, there was, like, some big thing. And the kid was, like, basically on the fucking chopping block. You know what I mean? There were people that were gunning for this kid. And my mom used her connections to help smuggle the kid out of the city and off the continent.

And then the kid later came back to McCall and took his place as vizier. Cool. Yeah. So she smuggled a vizier out. And it was, like, a huge deal. And because of that, she was a really close member of the family. And when I was born, they just, like, accepted. They loved me. Like, they loved her. And then my mom died, like, 50 years ago. And now I'm still here. I think Tuck's pissed about this. What? Why? Because he's just, like, I fucking spent years. Like, this is what's going through his head.

He's just, like, I was on the fucking street for years. And it's just, like, your mom saves one person and you can eat every night. This is bullshit. He doesn't. I don't think. She doesn't say that out loud. He thinks this, but he's just, like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah. You hear a vase shatter in the background. Everybody whips around. Tuck has nonchalantly just pushed a vase off a table. What? He's acting out a little bit. Don't worry about it. It's not even mine. I didn't put it there.

Great. Yeah. Tuck, you're bleeding a lot. I'm fine. Oh, yeah. Do you want me to take care of that? I get hurt sometimes on the job. So I'd be happy to sew you up. Sure. Yeah. That would be great. Okay. Let's go back to. To the bedroom, I guess. Wait a second. Everybody. Oh. Everybody come back to the bedroom. I wasn't sure if it was one of the bedroom memories that would be happening. No. Isn't your. No. What? Absolutely not. Anyways. So, yeah. Yeah. Please. Please sew me up.

I'm bleeding fucking so much. Yeah. You look back at the trail we've walked through, and it looks like a fucking. Slip and slide. There's so much blood, like more than tuck thought he had. Yeah. He's been touching so many things. You can see all of the things that he has broken as they've walked through her wing of this palace where it's like, oh, yeah, he's like fucked up all of those paintings and smashed so many things. Yeah.

You could see there is like a chest of drawers that he was handling a lot. So. He did something to that. He's got a lot of handprints. All the drawers are closed, weirdly enough. And as you're walking through, she's like, don't worry, I'll get somebody to clean this up. Good. And cut to the bedroom. Billy has gotten some food. What did Billy get from the kitchens? She looks like she's like vegan or something. So I just have like some dragon fruit. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. What's being doing?

He's sampling some of the edibles. Edibles from the solarium and his poultices. Nice. Oh, yeah. Bing is going to make some poultices. Great. And Shia has put Tuck in. He's on a chaise lounge because it's the only thing wide enough for him to fit on. Cool. And she's like kind of kneeling on the chaise lounge next to you, kind of leaned over your chest, and she's sewing up the hole. Maybe because Tuck is so like wide. Yeah. He's too high for her to like kneel down or sit down.

So she's like crouched on his chest. Yeah. Yeah. Like sewing him up. Yeah. You know what? Sitting cross legs. Yeah. You know what? She starts standing next to you and she's trying. She's like, you know what? And she just like climbs up on top of you. Basically. Bing's eyes narrow a little bit. And is kneeling. And she's got her knees on your chest, basically. And she's just so she starts sewing up the hole with like a hook needle. Yeah.

And as she's doing that, when Bing's eyes narrow, like I turned to Bing and I'm just I stick my tongue out and I like wink like this. It makes me look like a pig. Like a little emoji face. And Shia's like, try not to try not to move. I'm not moving. I could feel the muscles in your torso tense. Just don't move. Tuck is making faces and Billy's watching this happen. He's just shaking his head really slowly. Billy. Sorry. No. What's Billy doing?

Oh, I'm literally like I'm kind of just edging closer, like because I like Shia a lot. So I'm like trying to like I'm just laying nearby eating the fruit. Just laying nearby. Billy's climbed up on the chair. The chest. Yeah. She's got a bowl of warm water on your shoulder with like bloody rags in it. And she's just. Yeah. She started Sonia up and she's working the like hook and gut through your through the wound, slowly sewing it up. So, yeah, you're from a call, right? Yeah.

I'm from the sticks, actually. Well, whoa. Really? Yeah. Whoa. But you're so you still seem like somebody that'd be from the sticks. What the fuck is that supposed to be? I don't know. I don't know. You just seem kind of like clean. No, I wasn't going to say clean. I just mean, you seem like self-assured. A lot of people in the sticks seem kind of like beaten down, you know? Yeah. It's a real problem. That's what happens when like three families have all of the money. Yeah. Yep.

Do you ever get out into the sticks at night? Wink. You just steal from people up in the upper ward. No. What? Rifle through their apartments. Okay. All right. I see where you're coming from. But it was a job. I've got a reputation. It wasn't personal. It was just business. Sure. Yeah. I swear. I usually steal like nicer stuff. I mean, no, not nicer stuff, but just like better. Oh, my God. Valuable. Yeah. Yeah. Valuable stuff. Monetary value. Okay. But okay. Not just monetary value.

It's really fun. To steal something to like make a point. You know, that's really fun. Like one time I went into the house of this guy that owns a bunch of theaters and I replaced all of his like antique like scripts with a bunch of books that I wrote and they were pretty funny and he was pretty pissed about that. I just threw him out. I like Tuck is there's like so much going on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

This is everything that is wrong with McCall, where it's like some fucking entitled girl has been provided for her entire life, fucking steals and thinks it's funny. And I literally spent years of my life stealing to live. Yeah. While she was doing this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't. This is just like Tuck wants to be like fucking jokey and nice and stuff. And it's like being sister, but like fucking mad. It's weird. This is weird for him. Totally. Yeah. Tuck did say all this.

Oh, you just like confronted her about. Oh, yeah. She's she just like gets down off of you with like the gut with the hook on it. Just like hanging down on your chest a little bit. She's like, I. This is like. I didn't choose this life. You know. You understand that, right? Like, I didn't choose to live here. I didn't choose to have more. You choose to go out and take every night. Why would? No, that's not the point. That's not the point. The point is not to.

No, the point is not to, like, take it from the people that have it and give it to the people that need it. It's to take it from the people that have it and to tell them nobody needs it. That's it, right? Like. Yeah. Nobody needs it. Next time. You're in the fucking sticks. Maybe stop and look around. Maybe watch the kids. Look, I know. I bet. No. No. I bet you think this conversation is going to be like, you show me. You reveal the error of my ways.

And after 65 years of doing this, I'm going to have this revelation. Fuck. Why would I think that? Like, McCall's been like this for hundreds of years. People like you don't change. Like me. And then Tuck's just like. Get off of me. I'm already off of you. I established that already. You just want to bleed all over my room. Yeah. I'll fucking bleed all over whatever I want. Or do you not want my poor blood touching your rich stuff? No. Look. Tuck just starts walking away. Tuck.

No, no, no, no, no. You know what? You stay. You stay. I'm going to go. Okay. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm leaving the room. We're all going to go. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm leaving the room first. Okay. Hold on. Stop. Hold on. Hold on. Tuck was just going to the tennis court. Bing. I. Look. Come on. I'm not. I'm not as upset with. You understand. He came from the streets. I know. He's lived the struggle. You're on the other side.

He can't know what it's like and you can't know what he's gone through. I guess I just don't. I can't. I don't understand how I can look at somebody like that. Somebody that just has so much physical power and be like. Well, you know, he didn't get what he wanted and that's a real shame. It's not about the physicality. He's in survival mode. He's been in survival mode since he was a baby kid. You know what that does to a person? Turns them huge and soft at the same time. I guess. Sorry.

I don't know how to cut this scene. That's so fucking funny. Don't cut that scene. It's very funny. I just feel like there's a huge. There's a huge gaping wound in your life and you're filling it with other people's stuff. I guess. But like you got this kid. You got Billy. Look at him. He's like the size of like a. I don't even know. Like a big loaf of bread. And he can do whatever he wants. He's quick. He's fast. He's smart. He's got instinct. That's not always. That's not really true.

What do you mean? I'm a lot older than you think I am. And I've seen a lot more than you could imagine. There's a lot more. There's a lot more to a lot of things. I can show you. What do you. Show me what? Just what it's like out there when you don't have anything. Here. Grab Shia's hand. Oh. Okay. So I have Chamberlain's ring. And I'm going to do the thing where, you know, like with Chamberlain's ring, how I was able to get like Tuck and Ving to like see my memories. Yeah.

I'm going to do that with her. Mm-hmm. I don't know if I roll for it or not. No, I don't think you need to. Okay. Yeah. And then I lead her over to Tuck. Did you go to the tennis court? Tuck just went on the balcony. Okay. He just needed air. Yeah. He's really in it right now. Yeah. She's back. He brought him back to this raw child. Yeah. So yeah, she has a balcony that faces into the ground. So she doesn't have anything that faces out.

So you're looking at like other wings of the buildings and it's just fucking. It's like an enormous like this grounds. These grounds might as well be as big as the area that Tuck covered as a child. It's like the Vatican. Yeah, totally. And he's like, he's got, he took his ax off his bag. He's just like smashing random stuff. And it's like not making him feel any better because he knows it doesn't fucking matter. It's a penis of a fountain. Oh my God.

And then he feels bad about that because it was like weirdly mutilative. So he just smashes the rest of it around his murderous phone. Uh-huh. Hey, Tuck. Can you stop smashing stuff? You always tell me I can't just break things. Yeah. Okay. I'll stop smashing stuff. Okay. Do you have Chamberlain's ring? Yeah. And he like lifts his hand up. Okay. So I put mine on. Here, hold my hand. Okay. Um, Sean, I'm just going to show you what Tuck's talking about. I don't, sorry.

Show me what I don't understand. Just like close your eyes and hold my hand. Okay. All right. All right. I like visually that they're kind of played out like stained glass. Yeah. Oh yeah. Like the rings. Yeah. It's in the same sort of motif. That's really cool. So what's a memory that she sees of Billy's? Um, they're really early memories.

Um, it's Billy like after first, Bill, the first one after he dies and I'm like kicked out of the barn where I lived and I loved that barn and it was like so warm, so full of hay and there's like chickens and stuff that I could cuddle up next to. Um, and I had to go sleep in the fields and woods behind the village and I would be hungry. So I'd like eat whatever I could find in the ground. So I was always hungry and I was sad and I would watch kids at school play and I could never play with them.

And that went on for like decades. And then I'm going to show her some of Tuck's memories. This is a pretty bad one. Okay. Uh, so when, uh, like when we started the game, like we were like, Billy reminds me of someone I couldn't save and that was my dog. Oh, and it was like after he's been on the street for a year, like Bruce died and then like he found a dog like a few weeks later and the dog just followed him around. And then like it wasn't anything big, like you just didn't have a home.

He was on the street all the time. There's a lot of cards. Yeah. There's a lot of cards and like, like Tuck darted across the street. You look back and dog was dead. Shit. I go back to a memory of like, um, one of the, uh, harvest feasts and Billy wasn't allowed to go, but it was a ton of food, like tables of food. And when they're all done to make sure Billy couldn't get any, they burned it and Billy just like would watch. Fuck. There's a ton of books. There's a ton of books.

There's a ton of books. He has his locket, right? That's not the locket that he was actually found with. He tells everyone that it was the locket he was found with. But Tuck was cornered by Fatim. And Fatim stole it. And he threw it off the cliff. Into the lower ward. And when Tuck went down there to look for it, the light guard came down on him hard. Shit. So the one he has right now is one that he stole from a rich person. And put random pictures in.

He can't even remember the pictures that were in the original one. Wow, that's so fucking sad. Yeah. And you briefly get rendered in that stained glass a memory of Shia's. That is her as a young child, probably 11. She looks like she's 11 or 12. But as you see her… You see her at this age, you get glimpses of her mother aging. And Shia staying the same age. And her mother's eventually like bent and old and dies. And then you get an image of her in her room that looks a lot like this room.

Maybe less richly appointed at the time. And she's alone. She just sits on the bed. And then eventually she gets up. She picks up a vase and she smashes it on the ground. Somebody comes in, wordlessly cleans it up and leaves. She's alone for a bit longer. She pushes over a bookcase. Somebody comes in. Wordlessly cleans it up and leaves. And then there's just an image of her laying on her bed. Buried in it. This child buried in a massive sea of comfort. Miserable.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to I'm your game master Sean O'Hara And joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz Hello Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers Hey there Playing Fappily the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hi When last we left our heroes There was a good old fashioned punch-em-up in an alleyway Big takeaways from the fight with the Lightguard Tuck got fucked up I almost died Almost died But I also totally fucked up Fatim Did you ever I took out one of his eyes I took out one of his eyes Pretty much by accident I felt really bad For sure When he did it he apologized Ving attempted to use his mastery over the elements to throw some brickwork Catastrophe over the elements Basically collapsed a building With Cash still inside before he was rescued by Billy the Halfling Thief And then you escaped with the help of Shia the Garden Snake Who took you to their chambers in the garden snake?

To their chambers in the Siddel grounds in the lower ward And after discovering how beautiful it was and how much she lives in comfort and safety Her and Tuck had some words Yeah Tuck kinda like lost it Yeah Sort of a breakdown Yeah and there was a lot of discussion of the hardships they experienced and why they are justified in feeling the way they feel But Shia kinda seems like a shitty person Yeah she kinda does She's got this rich kid mentality that affects a lot of people She's got this rich kid mentality that affects a lot of the ways that she thinks And we ended that conversation with Billy deciding to try and bridge the divide by bringing Shia into a magically linked memory sharing chain Using Chamberlain's Rings In which we saw some memories of how hard Billy had it How hard Tuck had it And some tough times from Shia's childhood as well Yeah it's pretty complicated Yeah super sad Yeah Yeah And that is where we join ourselves now with Ving sitting quietly in Shia's bedroom as Cash sleeps Classic Oh hey guys you doing a cool thing?

It's over here chillin' with a wolf We were playing tic tac toe On the steamy window Squeak X Yeah And yeah so Billy is linking the hands of Shia to Tuck And you all sort of come out of this memory sharing Yeah I abruptly let go of you guys of Shia and Tuck And I'm just like look you guys are like the fucking same Just stop fighting Everyone's life sucks Ugh And I just go kick the balcony Nothing happens No of course not it just goes pat Billy take a breath So Tuck he's like not it's not totally fair though It's not it's not totally resolved for him Like he's like still mad but he understands gets it He gets it like Shia's fucked up too Like she had a hard time It's not super cut and dry Like rich people aren't the enemy maybe But maybe they are I don't fucking It's complicated Yeah But he's like okay I understand kind of And he uh looks at Shia and he's like I'll fucking hold it together it's fine Uh Billy you feel a little flutter Uh next to your ear Oh I catch a little bookworm Yeah Oman lands on your finger You're back What do you have to tell us?

The papery wings on him unfurl And you see delicate writing on the wings Oh shit I can't read Ving Yeah I'm sorry Oh What does it say? What's it say here? It's from Perel And it says is it safe? I'm good Farah teaching me silent word Should I come meet you?

Oh he should not meet us No he can't come here They I didn't really think about it But I guess the light guard really want him And uh he Oman furls in the wing that had the writing on it And unfurls his other wing which is blank And kind of flaps it a couple times Aww Hmm okay we gotta send a message back I grab a pen from the table behind me Here you go Ving Uh yeah he writes a letter back to him that he can't come to where we are And that he needs to stay put right?

What else do we want to tell Perel?

We're hiding In the palace In the palace Gonna plan how to like infiltrate the light guard or the hearth or whatever Yeah And that we have to tell him not to go home Oh yeah That we are all wanted And he probably knows that Stay put they're looking for you And that yeah the safest place for him is probably the library And you know like when you're like writing something down like on a birthday card And you start running out of room Yeah And things like running like cause you're just trying to get a lot of information on this moth's wings Flip Oman over right on the back of the wing Yeah Uh great yeah and he unfurls both his wings The writing that Perel sent you see is now gone Ooh And he just goes Bye forgot to kiss you but Thank you Be safe And he goes back to the sky and is gone And Shia is just like so we're hiding out sleepover Right Yeah Um so we just got a message from our friend Perel who he met Oh yeah bald guy Yeah Yeah skinny dweeb Yeah um so he's he's hiding at the Murghoni library Oh I feel like you should not have told me that Oh wait keep secrets I keep secrets that just seems like I've never I've never been there sorry anyways um so speaking of the library we promised the lady who owns it that we would do I don't know how to keep do I keep it a secret you guys I feel like we should tell her yeah we probably have to tell her okay well I mean if we're going to talk business we should get some lunch yes yeah yes good flash forward you're sitting in the arboretum around a very beautiful table that's been set up with food pinkies up yes what's every give me everybody give me one food item abdul uh tux eating a six inch party sub fucking hell what it's a submarine sandwich wait a six inch party that's so funny it's cut into a lot of tiny pieces usually only two inches long uh uh ving's eating a bowl of ice cream with a bunch of accoutrements and peppermint swirls on it hell yeah he's eating some feelings jessica billy's eating another six inch party the other half of the foot long yeah cash is there he's also eating six inch party sub and uh so shia shia's like thing you don't want you don't want in on any of this three foot party sub there's one foot left I'll have a bite okay great so what's this uh what's this business that you're doing I'm doing a business that you're doing I'm doing a business that you're doing I'm doing a business that you're doing I'm doing a business that you're doing I'm doing a business that you guys want and she jams so much of that sandwich in her mouth she does the guy fieri bite where she hooks her bottom teeth on it and then swings her mouth over and she's a snake like a huge bite yeah oh impressed yeah pretty good huh text kind of impressed too but for different reasons you spend enough time as a snake you know how to get a lot of stuff in there uh so what is this uh what's this job you guys are doing um basically farrah um my name is billy and I'm the founder of the business called the organic wants us to break into the hearth and steal someone back for her whoa her grandpa yeah whoa trying to take down part of the light guard in the process whoa that's yeah that's maybe a little bit of our own agenda yeah because they're kind of bad guys actually yeah that's fucking tight and cash is just sitting there wide-eyed looking at all of you you're gonna what we're gonna break into the hearth and fuck up the light guard I don't need to come with you right dude you're like the biggest liability yeah you are not invited no offense I agree hey none none taken thank you so much I'm gonna take this to the room and he picks up the party sub and he leaves he grabs two more feet of party yeah he grabs the remaining feet and leaves wow okay breaking into the hearth that's exciting I like that okay uh do you know anything about the hearth uh just that it is near impregnable we got some information on it oh yeah um so apparently there's a cart of bread that comes in uh I think in the morning and night and that's like that's one time that they open the gates yeah and we can hide in it maybe we also heard about the the we know the changing of the guard okay a midnight right every six hours every six hours midnight uh daytime midnight and a few days later we can go to work night and then the other two okay that's good information good information and then we have surveillance too surveillance tuck looks at vang um have you ever been out to the the moth cave no cavern no on the east the east cavern what's in there lunar moths oh that's where they sleep the hall of the king of moths wow that is so cool can I need you to teach me how to talk to animals we'll see okay all right that's I like this this is fun uh okay so you know I really want you to convince me to break into the hearth but it sounds like too much fun so I am in yes 100 sick I would yeah it really just seems like the kind of thing that I sent me into right away so no problems there uh the cart thing I don't love I'll tell you that much because like if you're gonna hide in a cart full of stuff and if they're worried about people sneaking in first place they're gonna check is the cart full of stuff sure maybe if we put a little bit of your paralyzing venom in the bread when it went out to the guards interesting interesting except for the fact that venom needs to enter the bloodstream you ingested does nothing oh no yeah that's a cool idea though I have a shit ton of other poisons do you have anything that people can eat and then get sleepy sleepy time poisons oh yeah you think you do the kind of stuff that I do and sleep comfortably through a night no sirree I just imagine like we think we're gonna go to the solarium but she just takes us to the medicine cabinet she's like yeah tylenol pm yeah this shit makes you drowsy uh yeah so that would be that would be step one is find a way to poison the bread if that's what you want to do that's a great plan really wait for the changing of the guard probably when people have meal time yeah and then not everybody's if I had to guess Sean O'Hara if Sean O'Hara had to guess not everybody's gonna eat the bread but a lot of people will so like there won't be no resistance but there if it was successful there would be way less resistance which is a really great idea so I'm gonna go to the medicine cabinet and I'm gonna go to the so the goal I guess would be to go to the east wind trading company talk to whoever manages the shipments or at least like sneak in and poison their stock or go to the bakery and poison the bread there oh we could get the ragamuffins they hang out by the bakery oh yeah um so we want to take that and then we need to basically sync up when the bread gets there to like the changing of the guard which I imagine is similar times and then that's a great idea yeah I'm gonna go to the That way we could maybe like get, we got to plan how to get in.

Yeah. I imagine that they went like the changing of the guard. It was like a breaking of the bread as well. And they would, the people coming on would bring the bread. They would eat the bread at this changing. And then they would discuss the, like what they need to, it's like a shift change. Yeah. That's really interesting actually. Yeah. I think like dinner time basically. Yeah, dinner time. You get your fresh bread. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Share it with the person that you're taking over for.

Use that opportunity to discuss the night's doing. Yeah. It's a cool little ceremony thing. Oh yeah. Like the person coming gets a loaf and then cracks it. You get half. We talk over the course of eating this and then you fuck off. Yeah. Yeah. There's a phrase in town called changing the guard if you want to go out for dinner with somebody. Oh cool. That's great. Do we also have to figure out where they would be keeping Amma? Oh yeah. Yeah. Totally. Yeah.

Which I don't know if there would really be a way to do that except get in there. Get in there. Yeah. Yeah. And then yell. But it's somewhere until they tell us. Should we wait to hear back from Perel about some stuff? Because he's in the library now. Can he find anything structural? Ooh. Interesting. About the hearth? Oh yeah. Because he's in the library. Can he maybe find something about the hearth? I mean Oman could like. We could have just added that to Oman.

Well he comes back to you, right? Like he stays with you most of the time. So he'll come back. Yeah. So that whole message that you guys send, Oman comes back hours later and you're like finally Perel's reply. Yeah. And he unfurls his. And then he's like, wait a minute. It just says K. K. That's good. And then Oman thinks he can sleep. But then we're like, we need you to do one more thing. And he's just like. Tuck looks at the terse response and he's like, him and Fer are fucking for sure.

Oh my God. Perel's definitely going for the 70 year old lady. Is Tuck all jealous now? No. It's kind of like, he's like, oh, it's like my uncle fucked my English teacher. It's kind of nice. Because you're like aware that they're both. Only. Good for you both. Yeah. Good for both of you. I might get a good grade out of this. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So you're sending back a message like, hey, can you learn anything about. About the architecture of the hearth and anything we need to know. Any secrets.

Great. So she's like, okay. So to recap the plan, she's pointing at a whiteboard. To recap the plan. Go to the Eastwind Trading Company or the bakery. Poison the bread before the changing of the guard. Synchronize the infiltration with the changing of the nighttime guard. Yes. Wait until they eat the bread and hopefully pass out. Get in and then find wherever they're keeping. Ama. Ama. Yeah. Break them loose. And then question mark, question mark, question mark. Oh, fuck.

We didn't figure it out. I mean, presumably back the way we came. Yeah. Skin of our teeth. Yeah. We'll get it. Yeah. I, how about this? Does it, if you, if you give me your blessing, I'm going to kind of be like a, like a floater. I'm going to be out there on my own. I'm going to be in there doing my thing. This is what I do. Can you clear a path on our way out? You better believe it. Cause you know what?

They are either going to see the garden snake or they're going to see a big ass snake and either way, they're not going to be prepared. So I should be able to clear you a way out once you get, once you get Ama. Thank you. Uh, okay. So yeah, that's the plan. Cool. Okay. We'll wait for Perel, your friend to send back whatever information he can find on the hearth. Yes. And then we'll rest. Right. She looks at you each in turn. We will rest. Yeah. Billy's already asleep.

Uh, party sub spread down the front of his shirt. Swammies. He ate more feet of party sub than there are feet in the total length of his body. Yeah. Yeah. Big and I are like looking at him while he's like snoozing. And then he climbed into a drawer and we're just like, no, this is party. So what is that? That's Burgum fruit. Where the fuck did he get that? Oh, I have a bush of Burgum fruit. Yeah. Oh God. He's going to have diarrhea. I wish you would have told us that.

You know what is actually kind of fun. I've been messing with them myself. Cause you know, Burgum fruit or indigenous to McCall. These are actually double bacon cheese, Burgum fruit. Oh, whoa. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. It's a Wendy's variety. So it's square patties. Yeah. These ones are square.

Where ones they're just like cubes.

I don't cut any corners you know what I mean alright so we're gonna do a Spout Lore to figure out what's going on with the hearth yeah to determine if Perel's gonna be able to give you something good useful information okay so we're all napping or something Billy's fallen out of the desk still asleep and then I wake up to Amon landing on my nose that's exactly what I was gonna say there's a little worm on your nose yeah oh you're back yeah I take him I waddle over to Ving who's sleeping with his head on the wolf Ving wake up turn the heat up Amon's back can you read it what did Perel say and he unfurls so yeah I'm just wondering whose intelligence we want to use considering this is Perel do you use wisdom for Spout Lore I can if it's historical which the hearth is a building is historical historical means events who's got cause if it's if you say that it's a building is historical like we could make the justification that literally anything is historical Perel sent us back pages from famous prison break where someone broke out of the hearth okay I like that okay so that means that you get to Spout Lore and you get a plus one in addition to your intelligence no you roll wisdom instead of intelligence I roll wisdom instead of intelligence alright 2d6 plus wisdom Spout Lore oh nice 9 oh I will aid cause Billy can't read I guess this is shuffling through papers yeah Tuck is gonna aid cause he it's like the pages are in McCollin so he's gonna help translate some of the more nuanced aspects totally 7 okay great perfect wonderful so yeah they're going like these will reveal to you a weakness that previous escapees took advantage of and that weakness is if the underground prison is basically like cells dug out of solid stone what if there's like a crack yeah they've tried to patch it but it's a weak spot okay or waters grounded out a little bit yeah where does the crack open into a cave yeah okay into a cave and the cave leads out to I mean the shores makes sense yeah oh maybe that's why like people don't really break out is cause the only place to go is the broken shores where there are salt zombies and fucking like if you go out to the broken shores you're gonna be dehydrated and dead in like a day yeah okay cool so that is your potential exit strategy or is that how you're gonna get in I was thinking exit strategy cool it also lets us know where the prison cells are it confirms that they are underground totally yeah absolutely so you know that that's probably where Ama's being kept and maybe it's like in the histories like people talk about how like terrible the prisons were because the walls were made out of salt like so it's like a dehydrating effect also like what if they what if they like would torture prisoners sometimes and so like their wounds yes you're resting on the salt the tortures were like painful but minimum but then also you on top of that you're just writhing in salt all the time yeah it's like every abrasion just hurts so much burn you yeah content warning yeah for torture yeah okay yeah so that's what you learn you learn that legends say stories tell of an exit that empties out onto the broken shores which people do not use because that is hell yeah and yeah literally the hell of the religion of the flame yeah that's hell to McCollins so that is what you know you know the plan what now we gotta execute you right well you rest for a day oh yeah and a sun rises and sets on the hidden home of the garden snake and first plan poison the bread are you going to the Eastman trading company or are you going to the bakery I kind of go to the bakery yeah I think that makes sense okay do you guys want to do this yourselves or do you want to potentially outsource it to the ragamuffins I was gonna go meet up with the ragamuffins perfect so yeah Shia takes you out through the like the secret entrance that she took you in through and something to consider is that after that fight you are like wanted wanted there's gonna be people on the street actively searching for you when maybe we are in disguise yeah let's just say it's disguise let's say it's like you leave the grounds and there are like groups of light guard patrolling the street more than usual and you're actually see wanted posters with your faces on them that's not what we look like yeah they're really unflattering I'm not that guys because they made tuck look really fat guys be honest with me I didn't bulk this much right I mean no no you look great and then tuck takes his belly and he pushes all the fat in and he's like these are abs still right yeah those are abs I think they're abs he forces a bunch of folds in there look it's like an eight pack right if anything we should be glad that the poster looks nothing like us this can only help us amateurs my hair's not gray right guys you don't have gray hair and additionally the wanted posters say wanted for heresy and the bounty for each of you is a thousand coins oh my god we should turn ourselves in that's not a bad idea yeah uh uh you know what actually not that wouldn't be a bad break-in plan oh that's like 200 days of work I kind of like the idea if you were to offer yourselves up turn yourselves in somehow Shia offers us up yeah totally great idea in her like I'm not the garden snake look yeah and you could still do the bread thing because that would still potentially knock out guards yeah it's pretty good because we didn't have a way in we only have a way out yeah that's true this is fucking slick sick we see the poster we have our way in yeah yeah yeah yeah!

Perfect and Shia is with us and she's like you sure that's a good idea? We've had way dumber ways of getting into places dumber ways than offering yourselves up to be imprisoned in the most impregnable fortress on the continent? You'd be surprised yeah it's pretty good and plus that way we don't have to walk there also you might get 3,000 coins ooh baby I'm gonna throw it right in the desert whoa now what's wrong with you?

I haven't learned anything it's been like 10 hours you're asking me to change 65 years of development now I'm like in 10 hours I was gonna I don't know about giving 3,000 coins to the kids but that might be oh wow Jesus no that sounds that'd be bad for them I am going to buy a business that's bad for the economy of Nicole yeah um cool that's a plan yeah that's a great plan yeah cool I like that okay so still poison the bread yeah so we slink around and like alright guys get in get in into where?

Into the opening under the under the bakery oh we're shoving ourselves back into this yeah I don't know any other way in yeah and all the ragamuffins are there hey everyone who are you?

It's me Billy I take my hood down oh Billy I didn't recognize you with your hood up right yeah and also he's clean so I took take some like shit and just smudge your face I don't want that whoa Billy you're so clean now I know I took a bath wow yeah it was nice wow there's like a rolling wow through the kids um so uh wear a dress like this in disguise cause um I don't know if you saw posters there's a lot of posters looking for us yeah there was for you yeah they they did a bad job drawing everyone right yeah there was like a big guy big big fat guy with big belly and there was a scarecrow looking man and there was a little dog I didn't think that you were the little dog are you a dog?

No okay cool I don't think so I look at myself I'm like no I'm not a dog oh okay so you're hiding you need to hide out with us uh no we need you to help us out so we have this poison so don't eat it don't eat it okay you said poison I'm not gonna eat poison um and we need you to dump this into the bread pile that goes to the light guard okay great this is a connections roll for sure okay so uh 2d6 plus charisma seven holy shit yeah just so seven and nine on connections means you get something close to it are there strings attached you'll have to settle for something close to it or it comes with strings attached okay um I'll take something that's just close okay cool all right and we will decide what that is at a later date okay all right so the bread deal is on so that's happening the only thing that's left is for you to turn yourselves in I'm really scared you guys don't be they want us alive I hope oh yeah can we double check the poster I have the criminals ah great shake oh no hold them down oh Jesus is there anything we want to do before we go into jail I mean I stalk I got I stocked myself up on throwing knives and weapons so as you guys are like preparing to get turned in Shia's like have you guys been to prison before yes yes we've been in jails I think so is there a difference between jail and prison there is legally but we don't need to get into it this is technically more prison than jail this is actually more of like a black site than a prison or a jail um so when you were imprisoned or jailed did they take all your weapons yes they're probably gonna do this again no okay keep in mind shit you hang on to the spear then I will I'll keep it safe I think I'm still gonna take TLC cause I would rather have TLC in there somewhere than just not have it at all okay I see smart I just grabbed some rocks from the ground just like just start shoving them into your butt Billy what it's nature's pocket what are you doing what else do you have in there oh my god nothing okay good you gotta stop you gotta stop eating rocks one two don't shove them up your butt I'll never stop eating rocks uh okay yeah great so they'll just I'll just turn you in yeah they'll take all your stuff I need like a I need like a character right I can't just be Shia and I can't just be the garden snake I can't do my like it's me I'm here to turn in these criminals um we could do a thing where uh we like pretend to fuck up and like pretend to get caught yeah oh yeah instead of like her having to be like hey I'm a bounty hunter I got these guys which is kind of suspicious and weird yeah we could just be in a room in a shitty hotel and then she could just go tell them hey I think those three fugitives are in this room in this shitty hotel yeah cool yeah so you go to uh you're just gonna stay in a shitty hotel it's called like the moat yeah it's called the moat and it's like clapboard shit it's in the sticks it's just trash and uh it costs like one coin a night you're just sitting in this room for one it's got a straw mat on the ground and in the middle of the night that you hear the banging of boots like coming up the stairs what do you do we gotta pretend like we don't know they're coming I'm pretty scared act casual yeah yeah so uh just gonna just gonna stand in the corner and barf pretty casual alright so the yeah the light guard um like a unit of light guard like eight of them burst into your room what are you doing we don't need housekeeping thank you Billy pees himself oh no guys I think it's the light guard no oh no now we're gonna get arrested they're not even paying enough attention to think about what you're doing they just pile on tuck fuck start beating the shit out of them whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa stop hitting him somebody grabs Billy so yeah somebody grabs Billy by the scruff of the neck as you're slapping their legs you take it easy on that kid yeah I keep slapping he holds you out at arm's length I'm gonna get you manacle slapped on Ving's wrist and he puts his other wrist up you forgot one asshole manacle slapped on other wrist and tuck is like trying to pretend to put up a fight and he's just like hugging all the guys on him he's like oh no you're too strong taking them and pulling them off yeah he's like grabbing more people taking their fists ow ow fuck and he's like punching himself in the face and he's like I know I'm so hurt we're like you get them all off of him you animals I've been so crying so hard cause you hurt me man sounds like unbowed unbent unbroken oh yeah gosh you're tough they're actively actually trying to hurt you okay so 2d6 was constitution uh 8 9 10 11 there you go uh so what happens on an 11 on a hit you either take half damage or you can completely ignore the other I'll effect on a 10 plus you can also defeat expose or frustrate your oppressor with your stubbornness okay yeah I think that means that they they whoop your ass uh well they think they are so roll a roll a d10 oh no sorry oh fuck there you go that's one that's one yeah that's a percent it's a percentile die that's very confusing I literally don't know why they put the zeros cause it's a percentile you roll two at the same time and then it gives you a percentage Jessica fell asleep while I was talking she fucked right off don't worry I am used to this when people ask me about my hobbies uh I have one armor too yeah so they're whooping the shit out of you and you are not hurting at all yeah and they're by you know defeat frustrate or whatever they arrest you yeah and they drag you away and it feels by the frustrate they're like yeah we got him but they kind of feel like they didn't earn it like they didn't we got him yeah uh and they strip you of your possessions they're trying to high five each other and they're really weak high five like hey guys we did we did it is there a way I can hide some stuff in my hair that they don't find uh yeah I'd give you a defy danger dexterity to like hide one thing on your body and it could be the kind of stuff where like they'll as they're like patting you down basically you're subtly moving it around your body so they're not touching it cool is that a trick of the trade no you just need to hide it actually that sounds like it would be a tricks of the trade kind of thing um you're like basically pickpocketing yourself yeah reverse pickpocket so cool should I keep a a knife or a slingshot can I can I make a suggestion yes your lockpick oh oh yeah you're going to jail that's a good idea your copper pin plus dexterity yeah seven okay so on a seven to nine with tricks of the trade you still do it but the GM will offer you two options between suspiciousness suspicion danger and cost so I think it's going to be suspicion and danger you choose one oh uh suspicion whatever okay cool so what that is is uh they pat you down they take all your stuff uh and they take you downstairs and throw you in like a metal cart basically with uh bars on the side and they throw Billy in a little cage what and they lock him in separately why don't you hurt him that's our son you don't get to tell us what to do heretics and they slam the gate and you're just locked up in this cart guys it's okay it's okay we're still together should I get out of here will they know no no no they'll know they'll know you gotta stay in there it's so small in here I'm getting so sweaty Billy stop it no go to your croissant man go to your croissant buddy it's so hard to go to the croissant it's fine hey at least we don't have to walk there it's true and uh Bing and I are like and think about all the cool summer breezes that you have and then we start blowing on him it feels pretty nice yeah so we're just blowing on him to calm him down you hear bang bang bang stop breathing so hard in there eat shit and uh Billy language they slam on the brakes so Billy's cage flies forward and slams into a wall you fucking stooges you're gonna pay for that you're gonna pay for that and as they're driving through they're right they're taking the cart through town you hear like a bell ringing and you hear somebody definitely on the cart yelling out heresy heresy and people start going boo boo and there's like rotten vegetables coming through the cage what the fuck you're getting splashed with rotten food boo yourselves boo heretics you're like judgment judgment like all this really intense religious shit oh great yeah cast your stones you glass houses fuck you yeah you guys fuck you're ugly and as Tuck turns to say that he gets hit full on in the face by a rotten papaya fuck and after enough I can't have nightshade yeah you can't even wipe your face because they actually manacled your arms together in front of you they're basically just like like this like underneath your chin your fists are under your chin and your forearms are manacled together yeah it's very uncomfortable cool but they were like we gotta lock that dude's fucking arms down or he's gonna kill somebody and you get to the hearth you pass out of the like light of day into the dark of the gatehouse what time of day is it 3 p.m.

Oh yeah what time does the sun go down here 3 0 1 no what like 7 yeah 7 seems about right yeah so you got a few hours and as you leave sort of the ungated unofficial border of the lower ward you look through the bars of the cart that you're being kept in and you see in the quite near distance the wall that spans the entirety of the sunken harbor that the lower ward is situated in and at its center the hearth so what do we think that this this is the first time that we're actually seeing this so what do we think it looks like what if it was like modest long long!

And then over time sort of like the catholic church became more ornate oh right that's a great older stuff it's super simple and the newer stuff is like rococo yeah I like that that's really cool I had a thought too just aesthetically that some of it at least is like it could be very ornate if we want the woodwork to be but it's burnt like charred but still ornate some of it yeah and that's as a preservation technique you know it's a Japanese style of preserving wood and then also oh is charring it?

Yeah have you seen the charred houses? No that's so cool that's so cool that's really cool I also imagine it to be very sturdy like basically the great wall of China but going across the bay but you know sturdy yeah not like the great wall of China not like that piece of shit yeah like the better wall in China more like the wall of China yeah am I right guys? The wall of China yeah I will not take personal offense to this yeah whatever why would you?

Jesus Christ yeah so I think that the wall on either side is more we're not fucking around with the wall it's like solid cyclopean massive stone blocks uh huh yeah like all they're not yeah okay cool all the depth perceptions are all fucked up though they couldn't figure that out I imagine it like 40 feet high too like really tall oh like in Game of Thrones yeah totally yeah basically like the wall in Game of Thrones and the like oh the wall I was like what wall are you talking about?

The wall the wall capital T capital T capital T capital W the great wall of Game of Thrones and it's like when it opens like the doors are also that tall so it's like these giant like huge like they're 6 feet thick and then like we like the cart goes in I was imagining and then it closes with this like there's an opportunity for what the doors look like how they open oh yeah that's a powerful moment oh yeah I have an idea Jess has an idea well only cause probably I've probably done this before but the house in China that my dad has oh yeah so it's like one of those like super ancient Chinese houses where you have to crank the like the I don't know the chain the three story high doors open yeah it's this huge chain and that's how they open it they open slowly super thick doors it's like a fortress and they open inward like that?

They would I think defensively they would open towards the salt flats because they're trying to keep things out but those doors don't go to the salt flats right yeah doors on either side yeah so they would still open inward yeah cause you basically want two levels of door exactly between okay yeah so they open into the hearth yeah thick doors yeah and the rumble of the chains is loud like it sounds like each link of chain might be like as wide as a person you can hear individual like yeah yeah so the cart passes under the threshold of the interior gate of the hearth and the doors swing close behind you and slam shut the door and you're like oh my god oh my god plunging you into into the gloom of the interior with a finality that says you're not getting out what does it look like what do we see oh yeah so you look around what do you see of the interior I think personally that it's going to be a pretty stark contrast from the relative opulence of the outside the inside I think is probably a lot more oppressive right it's a because they're military basically yeah barrels lots of barrels ooh I think the inside is that old stone like there's not much of the fancy stuff and there's like torches that line the walls and in the center is like a great fire oh yeah oh so this is like inside is like a huge gatehouse uh huh like it's a big open area when you yeah of course it would be it's not like the gates are going to open into a tiny little hole yeah we're not in like a narrow hallway it's like got a lot of room yeah I was thinking a big courtyard yeah but the courtyard is totally enclosed so it's this big cavernous room wow I really like that that's why it's so dark because like the walls are so tall but it's even though it's so big it's such a weird feeling where it's like the middle of the day but it's the light gets lost yeah and it gets kind of cold because it's all old stone yeah ooh I wanted to say that I the barrels like there's a lot of barrels around and they're probably full of lamp oil yeah oh yeah and there's fire like the torches I really like the imagery of the torches like you look down to your left you look down to your right and like you see torches going all the way down into the distance yeah because it's both dark and like it's cavernous so eerie because fire light is it doesn't reach super far yeah so even though there's a lot of flame there's so many pockets of darkness and it's weirdly quiet in here yeah just that like of the sound of a torch yeah and the stone is kind of like it's thick but it's soft so it the footsteps are padded a bit it eats the sand yeah yeah yeah I like that and everyone's moving so slowly and so like kind of deliberately it's like pilgrimages to Mecca where it's like there's thousands of people here but nobody's talking it's weird solemn yeah I like it a lot military Mecca it is military Mecca basically yeah interesting cool very cool and you don't have much time to take in this towering structure before a thick bag is thrown over your head and they throw a big cloth over Billy's cage oh no and they you're like trying to feel where they're taking you and they take you on a very confusing route and you have no fucking idea where you are Tuck's trying to Sherlock Holmes it again okay I actually you know what so 2d6 plus intelligence so this is once we're in the hearth right yeah you're in the hearth you know that much but you they're doing it so you don't know if you're above ground below ground you know the worst cells are below ground but like who fucking knows where you're going okay yeah we're trying to I'm trying to Sherlock Holmes using my senses to feel it what is this 2d6 plus intelligence okay to defy danger oh shit 11 damn that might be the first time Tuck has ever succeeded at an intelligence based role hell yeah so good you're like using basically just your spatial awareness to remember the feeling of like descending ascending and you I'm smelling things I'm listening to things yeah you feel like you're you've been descending for a while after you wind back and forth in whatever circuitous route you can still tell you've gone down quite a ways and then they throw you in a cell they throw Ving in a cell and they throw Billy in a very small cell separate separate oh god yeah so you're you get the idea that you are very deep but if you had to guess you would say not the deepest okay but still very deep okay and you're all in cells alone total darkness are the bags off they took the bags off your head total darkness do they take TLC oh yeah they took those when they arrested you fuck yeah they took all of your shit when they arrested you except for Billy's lockpick in his hair um are the guards still down there actually just in realities 2d6 plus wisdom yeah eight yeah so you get one question what's here what is here that is useful or valuable to me uh so what is valuable to you is that you do hear you're like straining your little ears they're moving around like a dog and um you do hear boot steps away so you think what is useful to you is there are no guards outside your cell at this moment so if you were to try and escape you would be in like relative safely momentarily am I still bound oh yeah 100% oh shit can I try and just like break out of my my manacles defy danger strength to break your arms free okay uh 10 yeah you're able to like you hear like the creaking and then just bang as you snap it and then you snap the chains on your legs and you're able to move about freely they didn't hear that did they nope because the billy knows that there are no guards outside so nobody reacts to that momentarily I want to know what Ving's doing too uh yeah lick the wall to figure out what it is uh huh tastes like salt salt uh huh uh do I have manacles on you do yeah okay I'm gonna try I mean my own amulet move is to try and uh uh make needle this shackles into a pickaxe whoa elemental mastery but with metal oh it's iron shackles yes oh yeah totally yeah yeah yeah man with the iron fists oh yeah I was gonna say put them on as gauntlet fists yeah oh that's so cool that's a cool idea elemental mastery though and on a failure here we go ooh baby no failure's not in my vocabulary 26 plus constitution ooh nice ooh seven okay what's a seven to nine on elemental mastery uh I get to choose one the effect that desire comes to pass void paying nature's price retain control I kinda like the idea that you do that you're like bending the metal around you and trying to form it into a part of your body and it like latches on like both up both your arms and now both of your arms are just like coated in metal like the crystal like the crystal you're back here again is it in his body though or is it on top I think you're feeling like biting into your flesh ow kinda like it veined up a bit yeah totally oh and you're just covered in these like metal plates fuck wow and it hurts like a motherfucker actually give yourself a dextability if you think you can keep track of that if not we'll do something else yeah I can do that okay cool uh Billy yeah I will say this much uh you have that will-o-the-wisp move I know um I also have fairy child now mm-hmm mm-hmm this is a new day oh yeah um which I haven't rolled yet yeah can I do that now yeah so 2d6 plus charisma oh oh wow snake eyes shit you take one on a failure oh a failure is just you get one oh do I take a failure or anything yeah you still fail so you get the experience but you only get one point dang it I really needed that yeah okay um I also have a question do I have manacles or did they just throw me in they threw you in a cage they're like he's a little kid oh but also something's up with him that was the suspicion is they're like we gotta make sure he can't just move around anyway whatever I'm not worried I grab the pick from my hair mm-hmm and I go to unlock my cage uh are you doing this in the darkness or have you like in the darkness okay yeah so you're just feeling around yeah you feel the lock on the front yeah tricks of the trade 2d6 plus dexterity mm-hmm uh uh eight okay uh danger or cost um danger okay you feel the lock click on your cage and the little door swings open mm-hmm you got it you got this inside cage open you're out of your raccoon trap yeah uh but then you hear footsteps coming down the hallway oh shit yeah multiple footsteps actually you're like that's more than one person okay I I I go back into my cage but I don't lock it okay great yeah and um you hear like shunk and there's a little bit of light as a tiny little slit opens in the doorway mm-hmm and their their eyes peering in with like a lantern mm what do you want shut the hell up I didn't I didn't say anything what shunk oh fuck and then they walk over tuck you you hear the you hear people walking towards you so the so I can reach like the slit and stuff uh yeah you probably could okay and now there are footsteps in front of your cell shunk shutters open there's two pairs of eyes and a lantern I uh hork real hard and then spit out spit in his face whoa so disorient him with like this shitty move yeah you don't have to roll for that oh you just spit in his face this is maybe the worst thing I've ever done I think spit in somebody's face it's the most disrespectful thing I think you could do you literally gouged somebody's eye out earlier this today on accident yeah on accident it felt really bad yeah you severed your friend's connection to the thalmic field by accident by accident?

It was on accident again on accident this is intentional okay so I hork in his face ah what the fuck and then I yeah I want to use what are you waiting for uh when you cry out a challenge roll plus con on a 10 plus they treat you as the most obvious threat to be dealt with uh take plus two damage ongoing against them yeah so yeah I want to like bait him into coming here to try and beat me up because he thinks I'm still manacled uh no he can see you no I spat in his eyes oh no I can see you oh you're like as soon as he opened it I horked in his face oh I see gotcha yeah cool okay uh yeah roll it okay cool 2d6 plus constitution uh 710 damn oh yeah uh huge constitution I'm like you fucking light guard piece of shit you can't fucking do anything to me and you just hear keys rattling he's like oh you are gonna regret that heretic and you hear chunk chunk as he unlocks the door uh huh and uh the guy behind him is holding the lantern he's like make it quick uh oh we don't want to get busted doing this and uh he walks in and sees that you are unmanacled and goes wait hold on a second the guy behind him at that moment just drops to the ground and the lantern is just laying on the ground and he's like and the guy is just standing there in front of you his partner is now passed out uh he holds his hands up hold on and tuck just smacks him in the face really hard oh okay hack and slash well I failed mark experience what did you get 3 uh oh boy uh okay uh ving now that you've got this iron that's decided it's a part of your arms what do you do I guess he's inside there and he's so frustrated and he can hear tuck and he and he and he hears umna and then he hears bill and he's like I don't know what to do and he's still kind of traumatized for a collapse in that building and he just kind of like and like and he punches the door and he's like I didn't feel it I didn't feel a fucking thing so then he's just like bang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang that's cool I want I just want to defy danger strength that's cool as hell he goes fists of fury yeah what animal style are you using right now I am going kangaroo cheek god damn it no kangaroo oh holy shit damn nice uh I got a uh I'm gonna go with my strength is 11 yeah it's just multiple pits this and it starts the sound of it's like ting kong kong ting and then it starts like punching out from the inside sick yeah pong ting poong like the whole frame of the door like just starts like shifting yeah like struts are like popping off and then he puts his hands like open like face up in front of him and then he pulls them into his leg and then both of them boom from the waist yeah door flies off into the saltwater yeah and then he puts his hand like a ball directly across it travels like four feet and then hits a wall uh and you are free you see a little bit of light being cast at an angle from uh to your left the guy who's sleeping does he have keys uh yeah and you hear a commotion from inside as tuck is apparently fighting somebody yeah and billy uh so billy's gonna climb up to unlock his door okay tricks of the trade plus dexterity it doesn't matter five I am willing to say that you still get out but like stuff's gonna start popping off now like now you're in jailbreak mode you climb up you're feeling around you feel the lock yeah jam it in and you hear a little click and your door starts to swing open with you on it yeah I drop yeah and there's a light being cast you see ving standing there panting with metal arms yeah and you hear tuck in the cell next to you fighting somebody I sprint down to tuck yeah uh and ving and billy meet in front of tuck's cell there's a dude on the ground tuck's fighting somebody tuck what do you do okay I just missed yeah I think you hit him and he but he puts his guard up and takes the blow and you slam him into a wall uh-huh and he um roll a d6 five he gets a surprisingly good hit in like your ribs he punches you and it kind of hurts but you have an opportunity to give him a reprisal if you so choose I kind of I don't want to hurt him but I do want to lock him in the cell okay so I just like I want to kind of grab him by his clothes and then slam him against the back wall and get out and close the door okay divide and your strength five six seven okay you do that you grab him you just grab a handful of whatever he's wearing and throw him as far back as you can he hits the back wall with an oof and you can back out and billy and vinger there and you're standing on top of a guy that's on the ground basically yeah and I shut the door yeah and I shut the door yeah you feel him and then you're like oh my god I'm gonna die yeah you feel the guy start tugging on the door from the other side as they're trying to find the keys on the prone guard I want to pull it as hard as I can okay yeah divide into strength uh seven also okay billy and ving you find the keys like on his belt and you're able to oh my god oh my god which one is it as tuck is fighting with this dude on the other side of the door you lock it how big is the hallway really narrow it's like four feet wide tuck is like stooping basically mm-hmm and it's pretty long on either side let's go yeah yeah we bolt yeah and as you're running down you hear in the distance echoing down the hallway you hear wait stop and you turn behind you and you see a lone guard standing at the bottom with a lantern and he looks back up the stairs and yells jailbreak fuck and that's where we're gonna end it for this week shit I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz so long playing ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers take care playing fat billy the halfling thief jess gattai bye thanks as always forever to aaron reid for our amazing intro and outro music and thank you to you our beautiful susporters for supporting us around the world including patreon in which you gain access to a bunch of cool stuff including us just shooting the shit bonus games it's pretty fun come check it out and have a great rest of your time bye if you can enjoy your remaining years goodbye and so ends the tale of the halfling thief jess gattai and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spout more you

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara And joining me, as always, playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz! Hello everybody! Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers! Hiya! And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai! Hello! When last we left our heroes, we started with some emotional fallout Following a sharing of memories between Tacoma, Shia the Garden Snake, and Fat Billy And then…

And then we had a three foot party sub We split between like five people The actual length of the sub changed quite a few times As is with all party subs Exactly Yeah, sometimes you come into a room after everyone's been eating the party sub for a while And it's longer than it was when it was delivered Hold on, what the fuck? You come in the room, I thought we were having a party here! Have you been adding to the sub? What the fuck's going on?

An anomalous party sub that just keeps changing its length and consistency And then… That was my party sub! Yeah, that was your contribution, you started with the party sub, that's what you get Ving was playing cards with a wolf, I think Right, we had a whole day of day off activities Yeah, totally He had a good chat with the Timberwolf God, his history When the emotional realm was over, they were crying together and talking about the Arctic North Hell yeah What did Billy do on his day off?

I can't remember Oh, I napped Oh, right Yeah Okay, and then… And then… We made a plan… We made a plan, which included going to the urchins And getting them to put… Sprinkle a bunch of like poison powder on the…

On the bread that goes to the hearth every day So that all the guards would fall asleep And then decided that the next step in the plan was for Shia to inform, quote unquote, on the three of you To the Light Guard Yeah Giving them your location, which they accepted heartily Yeah And then whooped Tuck's ass and arrested Ving and Billy and then arrested Tuck Yeah, they found us at the McCall Motor Inn Yeah What was it called? The Moat The Moat The Moat Yeah Oh yeah Yeah And then…

And then we were taken into the hearth Yes Not before we were paraded through the streets and people were shaming us and throwing tomatoes at our head For being heretics You've been accused of heresy Yeah And we were just like, fuck you guys You guys are lame, stop fucking pretending that you're mad at us Well, I believe everything I read on a poster like you guys And then we arrived at the imposing and indomitable hearth itself You were taken on a circuitous route to the deepest…

Well, some of the deepest cells And placed individually in cells in total darkness And through a variety of chicanery, broke out of your various methods of confinement Uh huh Ving had a bunch of metal iron manacles grab into his arms Shit, but also cool As his way of breaking down the door of his cell, Tuck goaded a bunch of guys into a fight Just one guy, the other guy passed out Yes, because the poison took effect Yeah And Billy was able to get out of his room And you all met in front of the cell that Tuck was in And then you were spotted by another guard who screamed up the stairs, jailbreak And then we ran down the hall Yes Which we are still running, I guess Yes, that is where we find you now, is running down a hallway What do you do?

Run! Run as fast as we can Run fast! Can I discern realities? Yeah, totally 2 to 6 plus wisdom Here we go Also tell me how you're discerning realities instead of saying… Can I press A to discern realities? I'm just looking around trying to find like one of those little wall plates that's like, you are here Yeah Here's where the toilets are Here's where the fire exits are Fire exits are here Absolutely not Oh, okay Maybe there's a little play…

A doormat in front of one of the cells that has all the instructions for how to break out Yeah, that could be it No, you know what I think it is? I think at the end of the hallway there's an information booth with a very helpful receptionist that's willing to give you the history of the heart Hi, can you tell me everything? Yeah, what kind of… Are you looking for facilities? Are you looking for…

Like no, fucking of course not Okay, Tuck opens his eyes so fucking wide and looks around And they come out of his head And he wants to find stairs that go down to the deepest cells to where Amma is Okay Yeah Yes, so roll discern realities What did you get? I got seven, yeah Okay, great, so that's one question off the discern realities list What is useful or valuable to me? Yeah, I mean that's probably it, right?

Like you just run for long enough with guards hot on your ass and you find stairs that turn sharply to the left and down and basically like spiral down Holy shit We go down Yeah Is there a way to like trap expert? 286 plus dexterity Nine plus two is eleven Alright, so that's three hold off trap expert Cool Is there a trap here and if so what activates it?

Yes, there is a trap in that as we discussed the lower levels being the more dangerous cells are also more commonly staffed So there are guards down here and if you come down here they will see you Okay, cool Well, I guess what does the trap do when activated? The trap draws its sword I don't care, I'm gonna ask all these Yeah, totally Because I earned that role Okay, this is useful, what else is hidden here? Okay, what else is hidden here?

Maybe there's a bookshelf and then behind it there's a secret passage Perfect It says demon jail cells and where to find them You pulled it off What if there is a secret passage though?

I don't think it's that there's a secret passage But I think that if I had a prison and I was attempting to contain a demon I wouldn't just be putting it in a regular ass jail cell No Oh So I think that you are low enough down because they took you very low I think you're low enough down that somewhere on this floor Billy gets this like thief sense Where you're like there's a hidden door here for sure Yeah, I feel my spidey senses tingling Yeah So what you see in front of you when you get down here is a secret passage And what you see in front of you when you get down here is you see a lantern Like halfway down a long hallway with cells along one wall And you see what was at one time four guards And two of them are slumped over against the wall And the other two are like hey get up Hey what's going on?

I'm gonna run in and clothesline these two fuckers Okay cool My iron hands Is this what is this a hack and slash a fight with honor?

Yeah it's a fight with honor Fight with honor 2d6 plus whatever Oh nice Doesn't matter really Strength 11 Alright So I got three hold Three hold for fight with honor I will cross the distance between myself and a foe And deal my damage to one of them Yeah Five Oh you fucking knock this dude out The first one Clang Yeah absolutely Man with the iron fist style And you cross the distance so fast Like if Tuck is attracted to Ving's physicality This gets you going a tiny bit Oh bet the flame in the lantern flicks Oh yeah Cause of my chub?

No!

Cause Ving runs so fast Oh so fast The air displacement of Ving passing you Okay yeah And then yeah the flame goes I like the idea that he's like I'm gonna go get him And then Ving just goes like Runs past you Wong Rings like a bell And then Tuck like comes huffing and puffing up behind him Where he's like oh yeah good teamwork Good job both of us we did it Well as you're running down the hallway to do this There's another guy here Yeah He hears the bell ringing off his friend's skull And turns around and goes What the fuck?

And Tuck's like we're medics And then he punches him in the face Okay Nice Hack and slash 2d6 plus strike Wow 12 Deal your damage 7 Yeah you fucking club this dude He feels bad he feels really bad How hard it connects Yeah I imagine that like Ving's punch Like you punch the guy straight on his legs flip up In front of him and he lands on the ground Tuck just slams the dude into a wall Oh And he crumples to the ground Yeah So you still hear footsteps coming behind you Like there is activity But you have a moment to check if you want to I wanna feel with my fairy vibes Like Billy's wondering if like if he's hidden from mortal view If it's sort of a thing where it's like you have to release him via like magic Or like spirit energy He would okay roll for this Oh 2d6 I'm gonna say charisma This is definitely more Billy's like fairiness than it is Cause it'd be kinda cool if all the guards like generally they were like we know the demons like they know where they're stationed But they don't know where the demon is Totally Oh to keep it a secret even from the people inside smart Oh that wasn't very good Plus charisma It doesn't matter I only got 6 7 Yes I aid Oh sick Wait no you aid Yeah I'm the spirit guy Yeah totally yeah I'm like Ving what do I do he's here And I just like Billy it doesn't matter about where you are in your Billy body Okay this isn't important you don't have to worry about here You're remember you walk between the worlds You're not here you're also everywhere You don't need to see it Right You don't need to to feel it You can just go 2d6 plus bond Okay Do it And that plus one tips Billy over into a 7 And you You see what It looks like stone wall you know but It's kind of almost like water like if you look through it It's like there is a cell and that's where the demon is Okay so I think that like that this barrier is the door there's no other door Yeah Like Billy can see through the barrier and it goes like into an open chamber Yeah but it's a small chamber Yeah it's small Oh it's very sad And you smell the overwhelming odor of burning saffron And sitting in the middle of the cell with a small incense brazier at each corner of this tiny little cell Is an old tired looking man sitting cross legged on the ground I'm gonna go to him Mm-hmm And I will say that Billy attempts to cross the threshold Yeah You're like okay time to time to leave my body And I walk right into the wall Yeah And your body passes through What?

Your whole body? His whole body and spirit They're imprisoning Ama's physical body as well Whoa But the presence of the demon inside him makes it impossible for him to pass the threshold Cut to Tuck and Ving what else is going on? Well I guess I'm defending from people that are coming down Okay Or I'm just waiting Oh geez Yeah Yeah Okay and I wanna like use my metal make create a barrier Yeah At the other end of the hallway So when you say use your metal to create a barrier what do you mean?

Yeah I just mean punch some of the wall and try and use some of my fists Cool Yeah I guess it would make sense for Ving to try and create rubble to stop everybody And anyone that gets through then has to deal with Tuck Yeah Totally Yeah And I just like the image of Ving standing in the middle of the hallway like an arms reach from either side and just going like clank clank clank Like trying to break the Oh yeah Doing very like flourishy like Tai Chi you know like two hands to one side and then up in the air Oh yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah elope style orangutan style penguin style polar bear penguin marmoset janitor chi power of puffer fish uh okay so what is this you physically trying to break the wall or is this an elemental mastery no this is uh hack and slash oh no plus my what strength I guess yeah okay so just five okay I think what it is is that some people arrive at the bottom of the stairs you didn't have time to create a barrier and there are like four more light guard guards we just look like total spazzes like just standing there watching his friend who's like just punching a wall being like marmoset marmoset marmoset marmoset marmoset penguin and it's basically he's effectively ringing a bell with every punch yeah like where are they clang clang clang clang I think we might know we're the sticky kids of this jail aren't we totally uh a group of light guard arrive at the bottom of the stairs and charge you what do you do tuck I do war cry I'm gonna like try and intimidate the fuck out of them okay what what does the staircase look like uh it's just hewn out of the stone is it like uh is it one of those like narrow stairs where it's just stairs in the like and wall on either side or is it like a big no kind of cylinder and goes like no it's like yeah right angles, very low ceilings.

The width of the hallway is barely enough for you to walk down it. They can get maybe two people abreast. It's interesting because you guys are kind of fucked, but you're also in a pretty great defensible position. You can wedge yourself in there with all your strength. You'll be able to get to Billy at least. What do I have with me that I could use? There's doors. Are there doors? Yeah, there's cells along one wall. You're on the cell floor that was below you. What about the four guards?

They probably have weapons on them. The ones that you guys knocked out. That's a good idea. We didn't go for their bodies. Should we check their bodies? I completely forgot that they were there. I grab the four guards and I whip them into their friends that are coming at us. You're not going to do damage with this, like with Warcry, but it's going to be like he's just throwing people. He's throwing people real hard and it fucking hurts. Okay, 2d6 plus, what is it? Constitution? Constitution.

Yeah. Oh, wow. Holy shit. I got a two plus constitution is five. Yeah, there's nothing I can do. Wow, snake eyes. Unbelievable. I think that you are throwing these guards and the other guards are like, what the fuck? Like it's a full-on melee, but in the distance somewhere in this complex you hear very heavy footsteps like ringing through the halls. Thunk. Thunk. That's not Fatim. That's something else. Fatim's the heaviest guy I know. That's not Fatim.

Yeah, so I'm going to say introducing that is the failure. Okay. Billy, you're face to face with an old man. He slowly raises his eyes and looks at you. Alma, we're here to free you and we don't have much time. There is no freedom. Yes, there is. I know you think you can't leave, but there is a way. What way could there be? I mean, I just walked through the wall and I'm sure if he came with me we could head out together. No. I'll just put out the embers so I start stomping. Don't. Why?

You see his body starts flickering, like the shape of his body starts flickering and Billy, you see bursts of vegetation like his flowers. And you remember, you're reminded, of the image that you saw when you looked at the truth demon. Okay. Is there a way I can talk to the demon? That's a great idea. Let's roll a Spout Lore, maybe. 2d6 plus intelligence. Eight. Okay, so yeah, that is something interesting. It's up to you to make it useful. The saffron, the smoke, it keeps the demon in me.

It suppresses it. If I leave, it will escape. Oh. Um. Hmm. I don't know how to… We could try, because I think we could collectively come up with a solution to this. Well, there is the thing where we remember in episode two or three we forced Billy to take saffron and have it around his neck. Oh, uh-huh. Oh, yeah, I still… Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I pull the saffron, like the pouch of saffron from under my shirt. I'm like, well, eating fixes a lot of my problems.

Alma, I have some saffron, and I'm kind of thinking maybe you should eat it. I will say that he's been in prison for a really long time. He's very beaten down. Yeah. You're gonna have to convince him somehow. Alma, look at me. It takes him a while, but he does. He looks at you. Um. There's one of your family members who asked us to come get you. She wants to bring you back to the library. The library still stands? It does. And your great great… I don't know how old you are.

Great granddaughter. She runs it. It's still yours. The Marganis still live. They do. I thought I failed them. No. No, she's still there and she's super boss. Roll a defy danger. Charisma. Charisma 10. 10. Okay. Yeah. So, um. Does he need help? Yeah. His physical body is very weak. Yeah. Um. So he very shakily raises a hand. Actually, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna chew on it a bit. Uh-huh. I know it's gross. No. I think it's actually kind of nice.

Billy remembers, like, William doing this for Billa when he was really sick one time. Yeah. Too sick to eat. Mm-hmm. So he chews it a bit and then he puts it in Alma's mouth. Mm-hmm. A little bit of the, like, saffron-colored juice, like, dribbles out of his mouth. And Billy tries to wipe it or push it back in. He's like, it's okay. Gets mashed into his, like, little, like, his scraggly old man beard that he has, but he swallows it and he takes a deep breath and it rattles out of his chest.

Like, he's so old, but he looks at you and is like, I will see the library again. You will. Creep. Creep. A lot of grunting and straining. How do I leave? I have escape route. Okay, so my ferry… Yeah. I think escape route applies. Escape route makes sense. 2d6 plus dex. Okay, 10. And so on 10 plus, I'm gone. Yeah, you press against this barrier that looks like stone and moves like water and you pass through with Alma behind you. Yeah.

You feel, just for a second, you feel Alma's body, like, tug against the barrier, but you guide him through. And you come out to the sound of crazy fighting. Cut to Tuck and Ving. And Tuck has actually, uh, he's popped one of the music bottles that he stole and when you come out, all you hear is this. Oh my God. Oh my God. Ving and Tuck are going nuts on the light guard that are out here. Oh shit. Okay. Well, you do have to roll dice to determine whether or not that's true.

Ving, I rolled to play air guitar. Really awesome. Do it. No. He just does it. If you choose to do air guitar, you're gonna do it. Sick. You can't fail at air guitar. Uh, so yeah, what's going on in the hallway? Air guitar? I'm glad we're all treating this with the weight that it deserves. I'm using fists of fury. I'm never unarmed. And especially now that I have these iron fists and I'm gonna clang away into, uh, at least a couple of these guys.

Okay, so is this fight with honor or just hack and slash? Hack and slash. Okay. 2d6 plus strength. 7-8. Okay, so, uh, you roll a d6. And roll your damage. Uh-oh. 6. Okay. So you, um, wade forward with your iron-clad arms. You smoke a dude in the jaw. He just hits the ground. And, uh, as you're like, you follow through with the punch and a sword comes down and clangs off your armor but slices a little bit into the exposed flesh. You take 5 damage. Oh, fuck. Yeah.

We need to find a way out of here. Yeah, you get cut. We need to find a way out of here. You backhand the other guy and you deal him a little bit of damage too. And that, that thunking is still coming down the hallway. Yeah, the loud thing. Oh, that's scary. So that is, like, like I say, that noise is coming from a very far distance. They're not like, at the top of the stairs, I'm coming for you.

Uh, but what you do hear at the top of the stairs is a bunch of shouting and yelling and smashing as banging down the hallway, biting, snapping, flipping around is a 30-foot-long cobra. Holy shit. Oh! Fuck! Yeah. Remember? She said she was gonna help you get out. I forgot! Sick! She said, I'm not, I cannot change back or they'll know that it's me. That's fine. You keep doing you. Let's try and get you out of here. Let's try.

And she, like, slithers in between the legs of the two guys that are like, what the fuck? Like, freaking out. Bingo's full snake chi. What does that mean? He starts doing this and he'll stick his tongue out. He puts his fingers up in a V and he faces out. Oh, yeah. There is even snake-style martial arts. You're not even using those as a reference point. It's fucking pussy-licking style martial arts is what we're doing. Oh, my God. Tuck's doing it, too. Yeah. Great.

Remember when people say that, like, they listen to this with their kids? That's fun. Nobody says that. Anyone that fucking said that is a bad parent. If you got this far and you were fine with it and that was the line, I guess you're kind of fucked up. Maybe they listen to the theme song. Okay. So, yeah. What is Tuck doing? Tuck wants to create a barrier between the light guard and us as we escape down the stairs.

So, he's gonna, like, open one of those, like, slats into the cells, like, put his hand in, rip the door off, and then, like, just put it between him and them as we run down. Okay. That's really cool. Divide into strength. Whoa. Twelve. Yeah. Big boy. You just, like, it's not even the, like, slow wrenching of the door. You just grab it, yank, and the whole thing comes out of the wall.

And there's a couple of guys that are, like, sprinting down after the snake and I just, like, ram it right into them. Yeah, totally. And then, like, anyone who comes against us will hit that door. Yeah. The two scraggly bearded guys go, we're free! Hot damn! It's a prison break! And it's the two old dudes from, uh… Stett and Walden from Bull Rush Village. Bull Rush. Oh, my God. This isn't the worst jailbreak I've ever been a part of, but it's close! Oh! And they all run down.

And Tuck turns to these guys, he's like, that wasn't even a fucking joke! Oh, man. Great. So, yeah, this isn't gonna keep them forever, but you've got a good, like, gap of time. And you just book down the hallway, I guess. Yeah, I guess I wedge the door across the hall and then we run. It's definitely a barrier. Like, they'll be able to get it down eventually, but not right now. Yeah. You hear, yeah, banging and yelling and that thunking in the distance. Did she bring anything for us? No.

She's just snaking. She's a snake. Well, actually, once you run further into the hallway, like, once you take that corner where Amasel was, she… Whoop! There's a lady! Instead of a snake. Oh, shit. And she's like, what happened? What? This was the plan, wasn't it? The plan was to go crazy right away? Yeah, usually. Where's your stuff? They took it. They have it. What are you gonna… How are you gonna get it back? Oh, fuck. Yeah, plans. Plans. Have you guys ever broken out of jail before? Yes.

Where? When? How? It was Crystal Bay. Uh-huh. We were in a holding cell. A holding cell. Oh, yeah. That's breaking out of prison. It's kind of drunk to break out of those things. We were in that stick box on the Sea of Graves that had us sort of in a prison. Oh, yeah. Like a little shack. Yeah, a little shack. Right. Yeah. Yeah. They wedged us in into a bedroom or whatever. Into a bedroom. Yeah. Oh, no. A bedroom. It was made out of clapboard, okay? So, pretty… Drafty. Yeah.

So, what I'm hearing is, no, you have never broken out of prison before. Fine prison genius. Tell us what we're supposed to do. Well, didn't we find out that there's a supposed exit point? Wait, what was the escape route? Well, the escape route was that, like… Cavernous. Yeah. It's all, like, salt down here. And some of the salt or stone or whatever has been cracking down below. Okay. And that would lead out to the Broken Shores. To the Broken Shores, right. Yeah.

That's one of your potential outs is the Broken Shores. Right. I have my axe, though. Oh, no. They do have your axe. Can we commune with it? No, it's from a distance. What about… I have commune… I wish so bad that you listened to me and took the signature weapon move. Fine. Okay. I take signature weapon. He did it. He did it, folks. This would be such a dope moment to manifest, like, a Mjolnir style. It starts cutting through the stone. Okay, yeah. It's… Wang! Cool. I manifest that power.

No, unfortunately, you don't. Okay, Tuck tries really hard, though. He rolls his arm out. Yeah. Come on! And he's thinking about Larry Terry and Chad. He's like, Guys, come on. I know you can hear me. Come to daddy! Okay, so what? Roll, what, Wisdom? I guess so. Okay, 2d6 plus Wisdom. Nine. Nine. Okay. Further up in the hearth, in a storage room, there's a single trainee, overweight, probably 45 years old. Looks like he's been on the job a long time. He's reading a magazine.

And on a table beside him, there's an crazy magic ornate axe. It cuts back to me for a second. I'm straining so hard. And we cut back. He hears a sound, a rattle, and he looks over. That was probably nothing. And it cuts back to me. I'm like, I don't think it's gonna work! We gotta go! Shit. But… Can I call in the primal spirits of the amethyst? It's fine. It's fine. Larry Terence, I can take care of themselves for a while. I can go back for them later. Fuck.

So yeah, I guess you guys are just gonna try and run down. I guess, but we have Alma, and he's slow. I can carry him. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Actually, Alma. Yes. Do you know of any other way up? Up. Or out? Roll, uh, Discern Reality. He says. 2d6 plus Wisdom. It's nine. Okay. Okay, so I know what's valuable to me, which is a way out. Um, we know who's in control. Mm-hmm. We know we're about to get beat up. Mm-hmm. I don't know. Like, should I ask, what here is not what it appears to be? Yes! Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Um, I think that it could be the sort of thing where, when they put the truth demon to use, they don't want to just take him out the front door. So I think inside there could be another way up, maybe out through the wall. Out through the wall. Like, maybe there's a… Oh. An exit that winds through the wall itself. Oh. Like in the Matrix, when they were in the wall of the… Yeah. That's what we were talking about.

And the only person that would know about it is question mark, question mark, question mark. The light guard! More specifically… Lord of the Flame. More specifically… Torch of McCall? There we go. Yeah. That's the guy. Yeah. Torch of McCall. Um, and perhaps one other. Dunk. Dunk. Oh. Dunk. Fatim? No. That's not Fatim. I'm sorry, I don't know. No. No, no, no. I'm just, this is all mysterious foreshadowing. That's it. Ama's like, they would take me out of a side passage in the wall itself.

And Billy, what else is hidden here as a little side thing? You see along the wall that had the shimmering of Ama's cell a few other spots that shimmer in a similar way. Oh God. Is there anything in them? Other people. There's other demons? Billy, if, yeah, because Billy can just peek through it. There are other people. And the smell of more saffron. Oh my God. Do you want to check on them before we go? Do we have time? Uh, I mean, what do you guys think?

It depends on how many more demons you want to drag out of this place. I don't know. We can't leave. Shia's like, we gotta go now. Leave them. They're not who we came for. Hey, and I poke her in the chest, and I accidentally poked her tit. Oh, come on. No, I feel bad about it. Yeah, because you're undermining a dramatic moment? No, but I poke her in the chest. I'm like, you, these are people who fucking were kidnapped by the light guard.

Who had nobody look for the, we don't leave that kind of person behind. Okay, your funeral. Does she leave? Then she turns into a snake and goes, uh, actually, you see her think about it. Please, Shia, please. I can do it really fast. She's like bouncing up and down like, I know it's been a long time since you've had family, but family sticks together and they do what they do. And we're doing this to bring back a family member. A family member and some random. She's bouncing up and down a lot.

She's fighting with a lot of emotions. Okay, okay, okay, fine. Fuck. I'll try and hold them off. Turns into a giant snake. I want to fight with the snake. So you're going to go to the barrier with her. Yeah, she's going back to the door. Yeah, she's she moves fucking fast in her snake form. She's like, bam, bam, bam, bam tux huffing and puffing. Not good for running. So yeah, there's a barrier and it's quieter than you thought it would be.

But the thunking is very loud shit and uh, it's getting kind of warm. To shit. Oh, fuck. Tuck takes his loincloth off. Man, I gotta air this thing out. It's getting spicy down here. That's bad. Now there's two snakes in this battle. The gigantic head of Shia snake form looks back rolls its eyes and looks towards the barrier. Guys, that was a pretty funny joke. Was it? It was a dick reference. It was a funny joke. We can all agree. It was a great joke. We'll put it on the board.

The chalkboard that we use for a dual's dick jokes. I just got to flip it over because we've run out of space. And then we cut back to Billy. I kind of want to be able to, can I bring down all the walls in between them? Yeah, that'd be cool. Oh yeah, sure. Try that. Then we kind of just have everyone in one big room. Yeah. Okay. He's going to stand in between all of them and raise his hands up and then lower them down and try and lower all the barriers in between all the demon cages. Oh, nice.

Yeah. Plus my wisdom. Yep. No problem to six there. Oh, I help you. I hold your hand and I touch the door. The door. Yeah. Yeah. 2d6 plus bond. Okay. Giving him some of that fairy magic. 11. Huge. We succeed. Yeah. Tell me about elemental mastery again. Yeah. So on success 709, I can choose one. I will have the effect come to pass. Okay. Yeah. The walls come down for sure. You lower the salt in between the cells.

Crumbles creating one large chamber out of four smaller ones, including Amma's original chamber. I'm like, fuck you salt and salts like, oh, fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck you, buddy. And you know, you brought down a bunch of walls in a cavern. There's more chunks of salt and on the far right of the four cells. A bunch of salt crumbles in off the wall, smashing the braziers, putting out the saffron fire and a young like maybe 17 year old boy who was kept in that starts to like writhe. Oh shit.

And his body is flickering in a different in different forms. I shove a fistful of saffron into his into his mouth. Okay. Defy danger dexterity. Holy shit. Whoa. 10. Holy okay. Fuck. Never mind my dramatic twist. He just runs up. Grabs a pile of half burnt saffron out of the brazier and punches his fist into this kid's mouth and he goes. I shove it so far. It's like in his throat. Yeah, walls it. No problem. Reflex. This is going to hurt you when I let go. Yeah. Yeah.

And the kid actually like yells a little bit and like smoke pours out of it. I know it hurts, but come on and he is he looks at you like thank you and you get a but yeah, you have like three other people with you. It might be a cool consequence of the ingestion that it makes them weaker. So it yeah, make our escape harder. Yeah, because theoretically definitely with Alma. The only thing that's kept him alive has been his possession. So now that it's being suppressed, he's like fucking fuck.

I gotta walk on my bones again and we don't know when the last time these guys like ate or drank was. Yeah. So like if they're human physiology is reconstituting itself, they might be like pretty fucked up. Totally surviving. On the smoke from saffron. Yeah. Okay, so cut back to the barrier with tucking Shia and now it's like sweltering hot down here.

Oh no, it's right in my fucking dick off down here and the Cobra actually backs up like coils into herself a little bit and gets away from the barrier. The heat peaks for a moment and then a red hot blade cleaves through the center of the door Jesus and step up and get away from the barrier. Stepping through you see a very tall humanoid shape made out of what looks like fired clay. Its body is very ornate and covered in images that talk you recognize as religious.

It has a face that is a wide open grimacing mouth and two blank eyes. The right side of its face plate is cracked and shattered in places and inside behind the eyes and mouth. You can see a flickering fire with the glowing red of the flames through the joints in its body. Is there smoke like pouring out of the eyes? No. Oh, it's smokeless fire. Okay. So is that a djinn or a golem? No, this is a djinn. Oh, it's a djinn. Yeah. So what I will tell you is that you've heard the stories of the djinn.

This is a djinn called Third and it is the third of eleven djinns that were bound by the god of the flame. And this djinn is known in most stories as being the djinn that killed eleventh. Oh. Fuck. And for many, many years it has been responsible for in some ways the security of the hearth and the martial training of the light guard. Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh, wow. So it's not an idiot. In terms of weakness, what would a weakness be for something like this? It's not fire? I mean, it's not water?

Unfortunately, it's not water. It's not as simple as water. Tuck puts his dick back in his pants. I mean, the only thing that Tuck has heard as for sure having killed a djinn is another djinn. Oh, man. Well, I'm no djinn. This would be a great time for you to reveal that you're a djinn, Tuck. Can you just rub, like, empty one of the music bottles and then put it in a bottle and it's stuck? Yeah. No? Is his weakness the Beastie Boys? It's Sean's weakness, that's for sure.

No, his weakness is if you say, I wish, and he stops in his tracks. No, no, no, no. So, Tuck, I think he's gonna try and talk to it first. Okay. What does he say? Well, he's just, he recognizes it and he sees that it's third and he's like, I'm gonna die. And then it's like, he's like, wow, holy shit. It's third. Big fan. I'm a big fan of yours. Huge fan. He says this as he's kind of, like, inching away. Yeah. He's like, great to meet you in person. I'm, I'm Tickleman Tome. The barbarian.

The barbarian. I don't know if you've heard of me. Look, man, we came in here to free a slave. We're not heretics. We got no beef with you, man. The torch is keeping slaves. He's made slaves of demons. And we just came in here to get someone and we'll leave. I guess I'm trying to, like, appeal to the fact that, like, He was bound to service. Yeah. It was like, look, dude, I'm sure you can relate. Being trapped and enslaved and forced to do a bunch of shit you don't want to do.

That's an interesting tack to take for sure. I think before I'm going to let you convince Third, you're just going to roll a Defy Danger Charisma to make sure that he doesn't kill you outright. So, yeah, the djinn is just standing there in the hallway. Great sword in one hand, the blade burning white hot. And he just doesn't move for a moment. Cut back to Billy and Ving with the other rescues. Yeah, we're further back. Like, holy shit. Who are the other two demons? Can we talk to them? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. You're going to tell me who they were. Yeah, I was. I was going to tell you who they were. So what do we think these other demons could be? What kind of demons would the light guard want at their disposal? So truth for interrogation. I'm going to say punishment is one of them. I'm going to say something that exploits his weakness. They have Umashusha here. Umashusha? Oh, like the original Umashusha? Yeah, I guess. Oh, the Afrit? No. So Umashusha.

So that was the other demon that the urchin kids were afraid of. It was the Afrit. Okay. Like the little demons made of night and hate that like tore you apart if you didn't have saffron. But then there was Umashusha who was like this woman who would like, it's actually like an Arabic folktale. In Egypt, it's like if you walk too close to a creek at night, Umashusha will come out and drag you into the water. And she's basically like she punishes small boys for like being reckless. Yeah.

For disobeying. For disobeying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's associated with water because she's probably drowned kids in the past or whatever. In Makal, she comes out of the wells. But she uses water as a form of punishment. Yes, she does. But she herself is punishment incarnate. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. Okay.

So punishment, Umashusha. So there were three other ones, right? Four total. Oh, shit. I'm going to say her name is Uma. Uma. And then the boy and a fourth one who looks like. A little girl. Oh, like a young girl. Like a five-year-old? Yazut. Yazut. Holy shit. Oh, Yazut? Yazut is a good name. Yeah. Yazut. So truth, punishment. What are the seven deadly sins? Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride. Wrath. I would love it if it was. Oh, the teen boy. Yeah. The teen boy is wrath.

The demon of wrath. That's cool. What's the teen boy's name? I don't know. Why not Yazut? Oh, did you want that? No, Yazut. Zane. Zane. Yeah, I like that. Yazut. We need one more demon for Yazut. Oh, mercy. Oh. Oh. That's cool. That's really cool. It's a little girl. They use it to contain punishment. Oh. She contains the rest. Like you've got like truth, wrath. She's containment. She's the containment system. Yeah. She compels mercy in the icons that are possessing the other people. Yeah.

Interesting. Also, mercy is like if like he would want to control it. Yeah. He doesn't want to give it freely. That's so cool that he like he wants to control who is merciful. He wants to be the most merciful. And who receives it. Fuck yes. Cool. Okay. So that is what we learn of these demons. Cut back to Tacoma Dome and Shia standing in front of a djinn. And tucks in that stance from Crocodile Dundee where he's like, he's got his pinky and thumb out. Yeah. Pinky and thumb out.

And he's like, the djinn has not said anything for a full minute. He's just like, tucks just like. He leans over to Shia and he's like, I saw this one time in a movie. Her little snake tongue flicks out. Sounding as echoing infinitely from some celestial well, you hear thirds. His voice rumble up out of his ceramic form. And he just says, my patience wears thin fool. And I'm like, I am sorry about that. But my point stands.

Are you going to stand by and let the torch keep a bunch of fucking slaves? Service is all. They serve the God of the flame as I do. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Oh, hilt with two hands wait um uh I'd look at the little girl can you can you do something can you talk to him it's like I I don't know I just ate that I ate that stuff I don't know if I can right now um I know that we freed you but I really need you to call upon mercy and talk to the jinn I'm so scared though I'll go with you and if they try anything I'll fight them back roll a defy danger charisma so plus charisma is eight okay great partial success that's perfect so she um she nods and goes okay okay here come with me and I I hold her hand and I walk up yeah she takes your hand and I go I walk in front of tuck with her yeah it's really warm here billy yeah my face is hot it's like standing in front of a blast oven yeah it sucks yeah yeah billy's hair just gets poofy immediately his volume increases by a factor of two billy your volume thanks maybe he's born with it yeah maybe it's smokeless flame and she stands in front of third who's tilts like it's gigantic clay head like just tilts down and looks at her and then she is not there anymore and instead there is the form of mercy what do we think a demon of mercy looks like uh uh like a white flag like white yeah I'm imagining like a cloudy like a white robed woman and I think contrasting this uh serene countenance she's pierced through with a number of blades like and there's blood staining her white robes whoa cool yeah and she is now face to face like eye to eye with third and she reaches up her hand and places it on his cheek and and a little bit of glaze on his terracotta yeah white glaze where she strokes him it's frost yeah oh interesting yeah and the room cools a little bit around her and his flame dims a tiny bit and she looks back at all of you and says go go wait she can't come with you I cannot why not mercy is a sacrifice and one that I will make for you go how can we make it up to you be kind this is your opportunity go okay oh fuck it was a seven to nine yeah yeah I feel so bad I start crying tech picks billy up and you just book I'll grab the old man and the other kid grab his hand great I start running around and I'm like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna run and I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die down the hallway yeah and um I think shia turns back into her like human form and she grabs the hand of like uma and you just you just run you run and then you get to the place that you were told was here is this like uh very non-descript door like if you weren't looking for it you would miss it and it turns into a spot where ving you can kind of feel through the essence of the stone that this is like the end of the foundation of the hearth like you're now inside the wall itself this is different stone yeah you turn into this door pass through the foundation of the hearth into the cool damp air and I think that's where we're gonna end it for this week I've been your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz so long playing ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers take care guys playing fat bully the halfling thief jessica tie bye everyone thanks to aaron reed for our incredible intro and outro music and thanks to our amazing supporters you folks out there listening right now you can find us online at Spout Lore most places we'll catch you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of breast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'm gladly is billy just crying quietly yeah yeah whoa that's the saddest fucking thing like just picking up your kid as they quietly cry a kid crying quietly is like so sad.

Because a kid cries loud when they're like I want you to comfort me. A kid cries quiet when they don't think anyone cares. They don't think anyone can comfort them. Well I told her she would be free. I told her I would fight for her. Can I, I mean like I don't know if it would undercut this like emotional sacrifice but can I tell you like an image that I was thinking like after you left Mercy? I think it's like she compels Mercy in third who steps aside and is like I will not kill you.

And I imagine her very serenely like hands in front of her walking through the hearth and everybody that she passes just drops their weapon. She's able to basically walk right out of the hearth. And into the Broken Shores. She goes to the Broken Shores. Why would she go back to McCall? She's a fucking demon. Oh right. So cool. What about the little girl? Maybe they have adventures on their own. Maybe it's the peace loving version of the Incredible Hulk.

She has her adventures traveling from town to town. This is a huge loss. This is like collateral damage max. Yeah. That we've ever incurred I feel like. But she's free. I guess so. I want to say that you all made this happen. I know. It's not your fault. It's just sad. It's just sad because either way she has still been in that jail. Cool up guys. Thanks for watching.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might. Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm Master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian Abdulaziz. Hello everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello everybody. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello everybody.

Okay, don't make fun of me because I say my hello that way every single time. You guys always gang up on me because I'm the only person of color. Jessica doesn't care. Oh my god. I don't think I do, actually. You keep saying that though, and it's starting to get disturbing. If I didn't do it, then it would feel like I'm not part of the club. What, the white club? Yes. Wow, we're right in a race right away. This is what people come to this podcast for, is uncomfortable jokes about race.

Yeah, Sean hates other races. Yeah, it's really hard being married to him when he hates 50% of you. Which half is it, top half or bottom? Def the top. I got a white down. It's so fucked up. It's a white ass. Yeah, I got from my mom. Sorry. Thanks, mom. I'm sorry. Thanks, mom. Thanks, mom. Thanks, mom, for this fat dumper. Yeah, thanks, mom. Shout out to Michelle Rodriguez. Most of our fans don't know that, Jessica's mom, Michelle Rodriguez. Rodrigue. You actually got really close.

Yeah, it's Rodrigue. Okay. Oh, I thought we were making a joke that Sean's mom was a white ass. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You were making a joke that Sean's mom was in Fast and Furious. Yeah, about Michelle Rodriguez. Sean's mom. Oops. I don't understand you to full extend your relationship. Brother and sister. You think they're brother and sister. I don't know. You guys seem attracted to each other.

As I understand it, things that are attracted are brother and sister. Oh, my God. Yeah. According to all the videos that are bookmarked in Paul's laptop. In Paul's laptop. In Paul's laptop. Yeah. Here, let me pull up a couple for you. Brother and sister. Oh, they're already up. Brother and sister stuff. Step siblings. Homegrown Simpsons. That really explains the virus a lot. You know what I mean? Yeah. You got on your computer a few days ago. Yeah, brother, brother.

We got a computer for Paul so he could edit the podcast and do social media stuff because he didn't own one. I owned one. And then he immediately got a virus and then I had a, I got so mad because I opened his computer to Google something and I went and the Chrome search was set to Yahoo. The virus did it. I only use the virus. I only use AltaVista. Thank you very much. Dog pile for me. Uh, fuck. When last we left our heroes, they were in the midst of a jailbreak. Yes. Yes.

Deep in the depths of the hearth itself. Kept in salty tombs. They had basically tripped off security. A lone light guard member appeared in the hallway of your cells and saw the three of you just kind of around and shouted jailbreak and everything went nuts. You descended to the lower levels discovering the prison of Ammargani vessel for the icon of truth whom Billy saved by passing through the seemingly magical barrier which kept the demon of truth in place.

Meanwhile, Tuck and Ving holding off the guard beaten ass as the stairwell started to fill with more and more light guard. Eventually, the stairwell was also filled by a 30 foot long king cobra. Ving's half sister Shia, aka the garden snake arrived in her shape shifted snake form and so what happened next?

There was like a clanging sound and Shia and I went to figure out what that was and to keep the light guard back and I ripped a door off a cell releasing the stat word Waldorf dudes from Stett and Walden and then I kind of like jammed it in the hallway and then like a fire mech Jinn not a fire mech cool name though oh yeah and it was third yeah it was third the third of 11 Jinn bound by the god of war of the flame yeah and also basically the flaming sword of god or something like that oh yeah that's basically third's role in the Jinn and we found out that third killed 11 which is fucking wild yeah that's a story that everybody's heard about what happened to the 211th and you guys once again non-violently solved an encounter with a very powerful and scary monster after Billy convinced one of the three other demon prisoners that you discovered the vessel for the icon of mercy and then to allow the icon to take over releasing the demon mercy and convincing third do not cut you all down giving you a chance to escape through a secret passage that Amma was aware of having been taken through it many times in his service to the light guard and that is where we find ourselves now within the passages carved through the immensity of the wall that extends to either side of the main keep of the hearth which is the main which is the main which is the main which is the main which is the main which is the main which is the main which is the main which is the main extension of the hearth itself providing additional facilities and passageways storage rooms cafeterias and the like for the guards that man the wall okay this hallway is low down and it's quite narrow and dark much like the cells that it's surrounding but you can hope and imagine since Amma knew about it that there are other methods of getting higher in the facility and probably a way of getting out of the facility altogether all right so what's the plan I'm going to we need to go talk we need to get your axe do we though don't we Larry Terry Chad I feel like they're like they're fine on their own like they're an axe we can come back for them later but what if Adam steals him I mean like but I the alternative is that we do a massive incursion into like like our territory with like three very weak people right true and this one is just quivering with what looks like rage wrath wrath wrath wrath oh yeah Zayn vessel for the icon of wrath so we have Zayn the vessel for the icon of wrath we have Uma who is punishment yeah Uma and Amma who is truth right and Amma is very old and slow for sure yeah yeah they're all beaten down and weak yeah and their icons are temporarily subdued by the like consumption of saffron yeah yeah and I look in my pouch there's not much left yeah yeah yeah cause if that runs out then the demons will reassert itself right theoretically yeah I think we have to get them to the library okay I think that's the safest place for them yeah okay so Amma yes do you know if there's a way like out this way did did he ever take you out this way he closes his eyes and thinks so this is gonna be a discern realities from Billy oh sure with the help of Amma 2d6 plus wisdom oh oh that is those all ones that was so bad it was somehow it was three ones that's terrible that was a big fail four at best really hammered at home um whoops oh man wow so what does a failure mean in this context oh what if he leads us the wrong way oh yeah interesting yeah he's like trying to think but he's so old and disoriented that he's like yes this I believe it's this way oh it's so funny that the vessel of truth is lying to us it's because it's suppressed it's so suppressed he doesn't know the truth of all things because he is so disoriented no uh so instead of leading you to a safe passage he instead leads you to what the broken shores oh like instead like you still get out but you're in a worse position yeah like instead of getting out to a place where we can sneak into the city we get we're like on we're in hell basically you're up on hell oh shit yeah okay I like that so what if it's the kind of thing where like he's leading you like Ama's now at the front of the pack being like this way this way what are you grabbing those dice for what's it to you well you usually grab a bunch of dice before you're gonna roll something without asking Abdul just put the dice in his pocket hey those are our dice he's stealing them he's grabbing another handful you're stealing all of our dice no no!

Sean's virginity dice this is how I'm asserting time at some of the podcast I think we can all agree that I don't need the virginity dice anymore I've seen a boobie yeah that's right Sean the virginity is inside of you you can never be without it the real virginity dice were below my waist this whole time that's why they rattle so much because they've never been used Jessica you shouldn't be rattling those how else do you handle them snake eye snake eye baby baby baby inconsistent that it's even freakier because it's like, are they sneaking?

Can we just not hear them? So Ving can tell that you've gone past the distance that the wall covers. You know what I mean? Like you're outside the wall now and the air is getting danker and more oppressive. Although no, dank's not the right word. It's getting dry. Yeah, it's getting dry. There's like a freshness to it, but it's dry. Yeah. Acrid. It's like almost uncomfortable to breathe it in. It tastes like tinfoil in my mouth. Yeah. Tinfoil exists. Oh yeah. Tinfoil is salty. Salty.

And I think… And my eyes are stinging. Yeah. Oh no. My nose is drying out. You're crying. Oh no, Billy, your rosacea. It's clearing up. And the demons that are with you, Uma, Zane, and Ama are like starting to look around very scared. And Shai's like, are we going the right way? I don't know. That's what Ama said and he knows best. Well, we can't stay in this wall forever. We have to go our way. And then we…

I guess, yeah, it's also like we have to get as far away from like the pattering of the footsteps too. Yeah. So we're just like… It's this way or nothing. Yeah, there's no other way. We gotta get out of here. Yeah. So tell me if I'm off base, but I think that instead of, you know, like a slowly ascending tunnel that leads you like to the broken shores, I think this deep down it opens onto like a salt cavern with like cracks in the roof, the light coming through illuminating like…

Salt stalactites and stalagmites everywhere. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So that's what you come out into is this like towering salt structure. You can see light coming in through the ceiling. Wow. But no clear way up. There's like crystals that are different like colors and stuff, like because they have different impurities in them. Mm-hmm. So maybe some of them are glowing because like so much in McCall glows. Oh, yeah. There's some bioluminescence. Yeah.

Because this is the leftovers of an ocean, of like an ocean floor. Oh, I like the idea that there's certain creatures fossilized within the salt. Oh, yeah. Oh, bioluminescent creatures. Just like whole whales kind of thing. Yeah. So sick. Yeah. Oh, they're all dried out. There's mummies of things. Desiccated corpses. It's kind of beautiful, but scary. Yeah. And gross. Yeah. Okay. So I think that because this was fucking snake eyes, I think there's something in here. Oh, no. In this cavern. Fuck.

And I think you just hear like a rattling wheeze from somewhere in the cavern. Was that you? Yeah, that was me. I don't know. You're all like sneaky and stuff. Super wheezy, but not a snake right now. Discern reality. Yeah. Give me one of the 2d6 plus wisdom. Oh, 10. Okay, perfect. You get three questions from the list, baby. What's about to happen? What's about to happen is there is a mass of something on the other side of this room that is about to notice that you're here.

What here is useful or valuable to us? You see Ving being an acrobatic type. You see a potential path like on top of stalactites or like pieces jutting out of the walls that would get you up to the roof and potentially out of the cavern. What here is not what it appears to be. You see you're watching yourselves look at this cavern with its desiccated mummified corpses embedded in the walls and in the piles of like long eroded and then re solidified salt.

And you see on the other side of the room as your eyes adapt to the gloom to the strange like half light from the ceiling. You see a mass of desiccated bodies that have been sort of connected in this pile by salt over time. They've stuck together. They've become hardened and softened and rotted into each other and then re dried out and it's moving very slightly. Oh my God. How we get out of here? Can we sneak?

You could probably sneak that whatever this thing is the way that it's moving thing that you can see it's probably not very fast if it does move freely at all. Okay, there's I see there's a root out on the ceiling. It's gonna be hard to get everyone up there. How can we do this? Can I can we tie everyone to my back and I climb up? I think that you're strong, but you're not that strong. You can't carry everybody. How many people can I take?

It'd be really hard, but I bet you could take Uma Zayn and Ama. Oh, yeah, but it'll be hard. That's what I mean. Can I carry the invalid? Sorry guys. Yeah, totally. The only other option I guess I have a scape route. Oh, yeah, Billy has a scape route so Billy can get out. No problem. Oh, but I can't bring anyone. You can't carry anybody with you. You're too small like Shia could potentially take somebody out as a snake like like act as an escape rope. Maybe. Oh, good idea.

Oh, yeah, throw her up. Yeah, teeth. Yeah, her fangs seem solid. Let's go. No funny ideas tuck. She might be able to take one person. You're not going to be able to loony tunes up Shia's body. Why not? Because her teeth would rip out. Can I start trying to climb? Yeah, totally. Okay. Five, six, seven. You can't take everybody. Okay. Well, my I look at all the demons and I'm like, honestly, my favorite one is Alma. So I'm going to take him. Get on my back, buddy.

Uma and Zane are just like, I just met you guys. Come on. You can't be mad at me for this. I got you out of yourselves. They're not. They're not surprised that somebody doesn't want to save them. I turned to Shia and I'm like, can you help one of these guys get out? Yeah, I can definitely. Help one of them, but like somebody's gonna have to come back for the third. I'll stay here with wrath. I mean, Zane keeps going to wrath. Yeah, he's like, please, please call me Zane.

Please do not call me wrath. Okay. Yeah. So you throw Alma on your back. He very limply holds on and you just start climbing out. Yep. Great. That is happening. Tuck is like hand over hand climbing up the wall. Shia is there one moment and the next there's a giant snake and she gets Uma to follow her and they take a very strange snake route where like she coils around a pillar and then extends to the next one and Uma like kind of fireman climbs like across her body.

It's a very weird thing to watch, but it's happening. Ving and Billy, you're still down here with Zane. I will try to climb out. Cool. Well, I got 13. Can I take Zane? No. What? Billy, you're so small. I'm useless. Zane, even though he's like 16 is like five times your weight and three times your height. All right. I find amazing like salt structures that it's like indoor gym climbing and I'm like, hey, Zane, follow me. Okay, great. And he walks over to the wall and tries.

He's not nearly as good at this as you are. You just have to believe in yourself. And Zane is like his arms are shaking as he's trying to lift himself. Okay. I also am not strong, but I'm just going with the power of belief. Tuck whispers down. Push with your legs. Don't pull up with your arms, buddy. As Tuck is hanging from one arm from like the roof of the cavern.

He does that thing from cliffhanger where he goes and then like one arm like just launches himself out of the hole at the top of the cavern. Yeah. Ving, you're still down here. Zane is trying to climb up the wall. It's going to take him a really long time. Can I help him get up there? Yeah, potentially. How? With my fight with honor, I can block a blow. Unless you're like, I'm going to fight this abomination thing. I mean, that's what I'm kind of staying behind.

I feel like making sure everyone gets out at least. You're going to like try and draw this thing's attention so it's safer for Zane to get up? Yeah. And Billy and Tuck and everybody. Our goal is to get Amon here. And I mean, Ving's feeling a little like he can probably outrun it at least. Or reason with it. Still feeling… Oh yeah, you can talk to animals. I can talk to things and like, you know what? I'm going to try and confront this creature. Yeah, okay.

So you're getting down there to try and communicate with it? Yeah, I'm going to go along to the wall where I feel it. We heard it and then feel where it's thinnest. Okay, yeah. So it's basically like where you came into this salt cavern. It was on the far side. It actually, it looks like it could have been part of the wall, but it's basically a combination of huge crusts of like ancient salt and desiccated bodies. Most of them humanoid. It's like a mound. Yeah, it's like a mound.

It's like a mass grave that's been reanimated. Yeah, basically. What are you? Nothing. I am Ving. I am a friend. I'm going to put a hand on it. So now that you're close to it, you can see it. It's like old desiccated corpses. Yeah, like, but I mean, like, I cannot like it's the hands are moving. They're clenching and unclenching. There's like undulating dried flesh. It's a zombie blob. Sorry. I just I was like, I forgot zombies out here. Yeah, dehydrated bodies. It's the salt zombies.

So what you see is that the reason that it's moving like this is it's trying to break loose of the crust of salt that's keeping it in place. Oh, it's not. You can't talk to this thing. I'm talking to the salt. The salt is like run. I back up slowly to D6 plus dexterity. I'm backing up faster. Oh, I got three plus my dexterity is at one because you give me a minus one because I got metal hands. Yeah. Okay. Go ahead and roll me a D10. Oh, no. No. No. Nine.

So you're you're backing up from this thing as it seems to have caught scent of you or something. It's aware of your presence now. And the as you got close to it and started backing up the limbs started moving faster and more aggressively. And before you realize what's happening, the crust of salt, the major part of it just crumbles off its body and it moves towards you with surprising speed and you take 12 damage. Holy what? What? Okay. Well, I can't take it. Another hit. What are you at? Six.

What? You're at six? Yes. Oh, can I volley something from where I am? You're going to need to at least try and succeed at a defy danger dexterity to do it from a safe place. Fuck yeah. I'm up high and I'm going to grab a big chunk of salt. So plus dexterity? Eight. Eight. Okay. So what happens on this seven to nine? I grab an even sharper salt. And cut yourself a little bit? Yes. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I like that. Roll a d6. Three. You take three damages.

This salt like cuts into your hand and starts burning. That's fine. Who cares? I'm going to be brave. So I volley. With a plus one. This big sharp piece of salt. Nine. So on a seven to nine with volley, you have to move to get you to get your shot, placing you in danger or you take what you can get. I'll take what I can get. Okay. Great idea. So roll your damage. So six. Holy shit. That's great. Yeah. You're backing up and this thing gets smoked from the top of the building and you see Billy.

What's Billy doing? Like bracing himself like a fucking spider monkey or a little outcropping? Yeah, basically. And he's basically doing like the Russian splits like to try to stay up. But he's like nailed it. Yeah. And like you have seen with Billy so many times before, it doesn't make sense that he could throw that hard for me. Yeah, he's got a shotgun arm and he's got he's doing the splits holding himself in place between two stalactites.

Oh, I like the camera comes up between Vin being in his eyes are like he's backing up like what the fuck did I do? And then Billy's behind him duck thing duck. And then he goes down. Use the camera focuses on. Yeah, whack and Billy's just a wall mounted turret now. But yeah, this thing gets crushed by this ball of salt. It hurt it. It's not anywhere near. Yeah, immobile, but you see like dozens of desiccated mouths open in a silent scream. What are you doing? I fight with honor. Get my night.

He holds role plus constitution, man. Good fail. Plus constitution. Yeah. So six I believe double check aid from here. I mean, if you can tell me away, I'll throw another one. Okay, 2d6 plus bond he reloads his arm. Yeah, and this is to aid. This isn't going to do damage, but seven. So nice. So you get how many points with a fight with honor to Chi. Okay, great. What do you do with them? This thing's like dragging itself along on like like 20 different limbs to try and like get the jump on you.

What a human caterpillar this is, but not the good kind like you want the shape. I'm imagining is like a scone, but with like arms and legs sticking out of it. Yeah. Okay, I'm just gonna use my chi to get the fuck out of here. Yeah. What does that mean? I leap over. I leap backwards and bounce from still egg tight tip to like tight tip.

Bing bang boom like you do a really cool like your legs tense up and you bang you jump in unbelievable distance to a safe spot and then they just go up the whole backwards. Yeah, and I guess like Zane has made it a pretty decent way up and with your help, he makes it the rest of the way up. Yeah, tuck was helping him up. Yeah, everybody passes through this fissure in the ground and you are safe and it's quiet for a moment for a moment. You see the wall and the hearth in the pretty far distance.

The lights burning at the top bells clanging people running around and tuck. You realize you are in the broken shores. Guys were in hell. No, we went the wrong way. I'm a how could you do this to us? Yeah, you fucking idiot. Big starts shaking them and that's like you're not my favorite anymore. Zane, you're up to number one. Uma Shusha, you would be number one, but I mean you tried to kill me. Yeah, you tried to kill me a bunch of times when I was a kid.

So and with with the exception of Zane this fucking consolation. He's offering this monster to you're offering consolation to three people that are not listening to you. Ama's like on his back rattling to breathe. Uma looks she's sitting down, but she's tired as hell and Zane is starting to look kind of angry. Oh, do we have a little bit more saffron? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, do you have some? I have some in my pouch.

Yeah, Billy probably has enough for one more person and you'd have to use a use of poultices and herbs for anybody else. Okay. Yeah, I'll give I'll give Zane the rest. I do it from distance. I'm like, I'm scared of you now. He snatches it out of your hand and jams it in his own mouth. So we have to what we have to get off like if we stay on the broken shores for more than like six hours, we're fucking dead. Oh shit.

Yeah, we'll turn into whatever that fucking thing was because I don't know when the last time we described this was but like, yeah, I don't know much if people like if people spend too long on the broken shores, they dry out and die and then they turn into salt zombies, which is like what was that was down there and it's like it's like the demon of persistence essentially that takes over their bodies is the yeah, that's that's the like prevailing theory is that like anybody that goes out there and dies.

This wants to come back to McCall theoretically to continue to live their life, but they are a mindless desiccated zombie and tuck you can hear well, you can all hear the wind blowing but on it you can hear like dried out moans. Are there a bunch of salt zombies out here? I mean, there's a bunch of salt zombies out on the broken shores. You don't know if they're nearby. Let's walk back like he's just trying to be helpful. So should we walk back now? Go back.

Is there a bus stop around here or what about the moth? Oh, yeah. And I think that Oman the bookworm did come back didn't he like you were communicating with I guess so I honestly so much was happening. Billy wasn't paying attention. Yeah, he flew into your hair while you were taking a nap, right? Yeah, Billy scratches his head and you bring your hand back down and Oman. It's gripped onto your finger. Oh my God. I'm so happy to see you.

Can you tell Perel that we're stuck out in the Sea of Graves or the salt flats or wherever we are? I just leaned down like Billy. It's a broken shores broken shores and he unfurls his little paper wings. Okay, we have we have Alma. He waggles his little paper wings. Go go fast. We have to write a note on the paper wings. I don't think he can talk. He can't talk to people. No, do we have a pencil? Yes. No, he bites the tip of his finger. There you go. Okay. Writes it in blood.

A little bit of blood. Come get us. We're like where? Yeah, I think you could explain. Hey, we have Alma. I what I was thinking is what if we headed for the cliff? Yeah, because like on either side of the wall that makes up the hearth is like the shelf that is like the where the ocean used to be. Yeah. So what if we headed? For the cliff like that is like closer to the city and then they can like either meet us at the cliff or maybe we could try and climb up or something. Yeah, that's great.

Because Oman will always find us. Yes. Oman always comes back to Billy. Yeah, that's true. No matter where we are. So something that we know about the broken shore is that time and distance mean almost nothing. So though you can see the cliffs like fairly nearby, you're going to have to make an undertake a perilous journey role. So that is a scout ahead and navigate Pathfinder one. There's only two and then rations. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know what?

You're going to have to do rations because who fucking knows? Okay, who's doing what? I'll do the rations for everyone because I have nature sustained so I can feed people. Yeah, because you don't actually physically have any food on you. I'll scout with my binocs and I'll trail blaze with my confidence. Boy, wow. Oh, I got eight. I got three. I got 12. Oh, cool. Okay. Nice.

So what that means is it'll take you the normal like a safe amount of time to get to the cliff side, but something is going to get the jump on you because Billy was just his binoculars aren't your binoculars aren't working right out here. All the sand and salt. I can't see through it very well. Your hand and your hands all cut. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, the salt that still hurts a lot. Keep that like that.

Billy notices that that cut still hurts quite a lot and his hand is feeling stiff a little bit normal. Thanks. No, it shouldn't be hurting this much starting to look a little crusty around the around the wound. I do I do that parent thing where like your kid gets hurt and you have nothing with you. So you just start licking the wound. Yeah, that's that's such a like primal caretaker instinct. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I do to Billy.

I like open his hand and I like, just I try and lick the salt out of the wound. Oh, it hurts war. So much more 2d6 plus wisdom. No, sorry. Constitution for talk. Yeah. 13. Oh my God. Wow. Fuck. Okay. The power of my paternal love. Yeah, you just like there's a second where the salt enters your mouth and starts dissolving in your saliva and like you're the membrane.

And your in your cheeks and this horrible dread overtakes you this persistence that you will get back to the old life that you had no matter what if it kills you and then you just spit it on the ground. Yeah, like the fuck was that guys? I think I'm weird. My the electrolytes are low or something makes sense. I didn't take my supplements this morning. I have some supplements. Oh, please need some Gatorade. Yeah, and Billy your hand still hurts because there's like an open cut, but it doesn't.

Feel as like stiff as it did. It's really nice to know. I'm not going to turn to a zombie now. Is this salt what makes people zombies? Yeah, I say something started happening to Billy for sure. Can I do a bardic lore to learn about the broken shores and their connection to like the outer dark and stuff? You sure can cool that. Okay, I'll roll before I start talking. Oh, wait. No, you don't have to roll for bardic lore. Remember you just ask a question.

How does the broken shores turn people into salt zombies? What is it that is like that gives this place? It's like dangerous aspect. Why is this hell? Yeah, why like why is this hell? This is all the same question because I haven't put any punctuation in it. So run on sentence. Please answer it all right answer all the questions and also what is happening with the salt and the salt zombies question. Love Tacoma Dome.

So what tuck has heard tuck heard a story a long time ago about before people really understood the like religious and metaphysical significance of the salt flats people used to come out here and harvest salt just as salt and there was a time when people were like, okay. Well, we've kind of dug out all the salt deposits that we could find close to the bay. So we're going to go out a little bit further because it's salt flats. There's a billion pounds of salt out there.

We're going to be rich and then a whole neighborhood in the sticks was just like overrun with zombies one time like just a neighborhood of people. People started dying and turning turning from within the city because of the salt that was brought in. Okay. So it is the salt like the salt carries some aspect of the outer dark back with it.

Oh, not to give to give up too much of the goose, but you think that the salt is connected to the to the event of people coming back as salt zombies, not the sole reason for it. But like maybe it's that the way that the salt affects people gives the icons better purchase gives them a greater opportunity to take over a corpse or something weird. Yeah. Okay, cool. Moral of the story. Don't eat it. Don't let it get inside your body in any way. Okay. Yeah.

So we what was the result of the undertake a perilous journey? Okay. So the result was Tuck succeeded being got a seven to nine Billy failed. So something got the jump on us. Yes. Do we think it's some zombies? I think it's the light guard. Oh, still looking for us to. Yeah, we're done and we still at that lantern. Oh, yeah. I wrote on a salt. I'm like, there they are. Yeah, right. It's also night. Yeah. That'd be so funny if we're like we're looking ahead. I'm like, can't see anything.

And then I'm like, maybe I can use your lantern. I'm like, oh, fuck. Should have put this out. Yeah, we we we cut to the top of the wall and there's a bunch of light guard looking towards McCall like they must have escaped. Where in the city could they have gone? And then somebody's like, hey, what's that over there? They turn around and they see a lantern. They're like, no fucking way.

I think we're going to cut ahead a little bit as you like tuck leads people trudging through the actual salt flats and you get to the safety of the cliffs. You find a little winding path that takes you up the side of them and you're sort of in this little craggy Valley as you're getting to the top thing has been feeding people scrub and sage. That he's found on the way out. You're very quietly sadly, tiredly trudging up this Rocky Valley. It's a real steep uphill climb and Billy lips are so dry.

Your eyes are like crusting over a little bit in spots and Billy you have this instinct that screams in your head ambush. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. Everyone stops up and then bolts start flying. Oh, fuck. Get down. What does everybody do? So can it work where like if they don't surprise? Me like I get the jump. Can I use a fairy move that creates like a like a distraction or like an illusion? Okay. Yeah an illusion is a great idea. I'm going to try to hide us all. Yeah.

So what so what is this illusion look like? I make us like we're just in a Valley of like salt and sand. I just make us look like that. Mm-hmm like an invisibility cloak. Uh-huh. Yeah, so you do that and all the bolts kind of go wide because they can't see exactly. Where you are anymore. So they're having trouble pinning you down. They just go like what the sorcery heresy and they throw their crossbows down draw their swords and start trying to like slide down the sides of the Valley.

How many of them are there? Eight. Okay question. Yeah, if we were like to run does it look like a leaf running or no, you would run outside of your illusion probably fuck. Yeah, I guess we should stay here. I think staying here is a good idea. Yeah. Well, and also the way that you've done it there. Your ambush has kind of turned into your ambush because you have a second to prepare totally because they're going to run by us where we are.

I'm going to roll my fist of fury just to get some chi hold fight with honor. Yeah, do it fight with honor. Sorry. I got 12. So holy shit three hold. Okay. Anybody else want to do anything before these guys show up? I don't know clench my fist. My anus can get this can be any kind of a thing to get angrier. Yeah, I guess they like everybody takes a position. The demons hide Shia Heights to actually because she just doesn't want to get her entire cover blown to shit.

So you hear like the clanging and rattling of male and female and chain male. Oh, I was like, this is a very diverse fighting group. Good for you ladies to specify there are there are all types of people serve in the light guard. It's good to see some chicks on the sword. And yeah, they rush like basically right between the mass of them runs right past all of you because this illusion has hidden you from view.

So now every what's everybody doing you have a chance to get the jump on them throw stuff. Okay. I don't know. I want to hit there's rocks nearby. I want to try to smoke them. Absolutely. How many is there? Eight eight seven plus dexterity 910 fuck. Yeah. Okay. So deal your damage. Three. Okay.

So you throw a rock at one of them and it sort of it hits them in the cheek and clangs off this little metal cheek guard part of their helmet and they tumble over the side like ow fuck and they fall over but they start scrambling up and I from inside the illusion also want to trip one of these losers as they pass by classic bully move. So what hack and slash is this dexterity? I guess it's kind of a defy danger strength really. Yeah. Yeah.

If anything, it might give you a better opportunity to get up close because they're armed and you're not yet totally seven nine. Yeah, you stick your leg out as the as they start running by and like half of them trip over each other. The other the other half stop and look around and see a leg sticking out of a rock and they go what the fuck is that? Oh no damn it. So jigs up for tuck. Vin can do a thing now. I guess to how many people see tucks leg everybody all of them.

How impressed are they with my calves? They're more like what the fuck is that? So I take a plus one forward on deck unsexiness. Yeah. Okay. I'm just going to jump into and jump while they're like what the hell is that and then spring out and say you're your worst nightmare. So now hold on your I see you rattling dice in your hand, but you're not have hold. No, this helps me spend my old. Okay. So what are you spending your hold on the guy that's closest to me?

I'm going to run out and try and clang him to the ground. Okay, great iron fist. So yeah, roll your damage spend one hold. You're not going to have to do the cross the distance thing because you've got the jump right six fuck this guy is you'd knock this guy out. I clang his helmet together. Oh, it stays a little bit. He's okay. I thought you were like a battle of Endor crushing this guy between two logs. So he's out concussed totally unconscious unless you're trying to kill him. No. Okay.

Yeah, he's absolutely concussed hit falls to the ground and some of that damage rolls over onto another person to two more guys are scared shitless and they pretend to be concussed and they run away and go how we holding their heads. Yeah, you can I'd say that you can deal a little bit of damage to a second person. Great. I take some salt in the other guy's eye. Yeah, when I do it totally he turns into a zombie and goes back to work. Okay, and yeah, they yeah. Oh, yeah, we dies becomes a zombie.

Yeah, it's back up. He becomes a wage slave and goes and works in an office building. Yeah, then he gets his pension 35 years later. That's kind of the thing that is kind of what the salt does. They do. Yeah, they try and live their lives, but McCall is just not ready for undead members of society. Yeah, they're like, oh, this commute this commute out of hell right and everyone's like commute is hell man.

I don't mind living in town, but the commute is hell and Dan was so cool before he died and now he's just so droll. Yeah, so for Ving and Tuck jigs up Billy. You're still hidden. What do you do more throw? Okay 2d6 plus dexterity eight. Okay, and with eight you have to choose to put yourself in danger or take what you can get take what I can get. Okay. Yeah, Billy's not willing to leave his domicile. Oh hell.

Yeah, so but now you're rolling d6 because you're taking what you can get back and yes is Billy trying to kill people. No, I want to knock him out. Yeah, totally. I grabbed a huge two huge fistfuls of heavy rocks heavy for Billy. So they're still like grape sized and I know where to hit people. Well, yeah when the way that Billy throws rocks like they're more they're almost more dangerous being small because it's so much pressure on such a small point. Yeah, so yeah, so you see Ving.

It's leap out of hiding smash one dude to the ground. He swings his arm in a backswing and knocks another guy's helmet off and you go bingo. Yeah, and then you throw it and hit this dude in the temple and he just tumbles to the ground. There are six light guard currently active tuck. You've been seen. What do you do? So I think I want to steer into the skid on this one and then like kind of draw all their attention but away from Billy so that he can he has like a better vantage to lay.

Yeah, it's only a matter of time before somebody notices rocks flying out of a rock. Yeah, totally. So like I want to pop out of the illusion and run up the Canyon like behind them and then do what are you waiting for for them to chase chase after me? Yeah. So what's your what's your call to action tuck pops out and he's he he farts at them and he's like I shouldn't have asked. I really shouldn't have that's and he says to to the torch with love and then he blows his back. They're already right.

Okay, he's right as you start doing you're like that's for the torch like they're they don't even wait for you to start talking. They just run at you. So 2d6 plus Constitution 710 you've done it 10. I don't know if you've ever made this work. So what is what are you waiting for? Do on a 10 on a 10 plus they treat you as the most obvious threat to be dealt with and ignore your companions take plus two damage on going against them. Holy shit ongoing all of us. Yeah. No, you do just me.

That's amazing. Tuck's in like beat down mode. Now it's a shame. I'm running away being is like fighting. He's knocked the people out that he was fighting and everyone else that was there like the tumbled people get up off the ground start running up the Valley as well at tuck. So how many people are chasing tuck six six? Yeah, I'd say as they're running away Billy, you probably have one more clean shot before you're going to have to move. Okay.

Um, I'm I'm getting ready to run but I'm just going to whip what I got. Okay, 2d six plus dexterity, please. Oh, it's fine. I still got in nine. Yeah. So do you deal your damage? Well, go ahead. Roll that d6. Maybe you heal somebody with this rock. Wow, they're healed for one day. What? Is that actually how the mechanic works? No, he had a dent on the other side. I'm on this and the dent came out of the other side. Oh my God, he's smarter.

Now you just reach behind you and through and you threw a handful of nourishing berries that they catch in their mouth. Yeah. So yeah, it just clangs off somebody's helmet as they're running away. They don't even notice. Okay. And now the actions moving away from Billy. Yeah. Well, I'm running up. Okay. Should I leave people behind? Yeah. Shia is actually like go go. Okay. Running. Okay. What has been doing? I'll run up the side of the cliff over over.

Over top of the crew over top of of tuck and then get in behind. So when they come around the corner or around a bend, I'm already there and you're going to start just smashing. We can smash. Yeah. Smash bros. It's this thing where yeah, tuck takes a corner and like from their perspective, they come around the corner and then Vings already there. I'm like chewing my nails with my arms crossed. Oh, hey, you're late for your ass whooping. Nerds.

I'm also thinking about how scary it would be for any light guard that solving do that like wall running along the cavern next to them like no. Who's this? Yeah. So they come around the bend right hot on tux heels and Ving is there. Let's do this. I want to do a fist of fury right and save a save a hold. Okay, great. Yeah. So yeah, hack and slash my body is Wonderland of weapons. A Wonderland of horror is what it is.

And I launch forward like a bottlenose dolphin cheat dive forward iron fists at the lead of their guy and try and like 10 pin bowling this group of running up. All right. Yeah. 2d6 plus strength. Oh, nice. 11. Just deal your damage baby. Four. Yeah, you smoke one of them like you leap forward with your fists in front of you. Yep. And just ride somebody's chest to the ground. And as that I grab his sword and fling it over my shoulder to tuck his sword tuck roll a defy danger dexterity.

If you're trying to catch that. So cool. Thanks for putting me in danger by throwing a weapon at me. Heads up. I've done this many times fucking seven. The sword goes into my hand. I can it goes into the original hole like fits into the hole from the spear from the spear. I think it'll definitely deal damage to you. I don't think you have to get it through your fucking hand.

It is going to be the thing where like it's like this cool thing was like boom grab sword throw and then tuck sees it and then you see him like get scared slow motion yeah, it's the thing where like remember when you're in high school and you're like the thing I'm the most afraid of is if someone casually tosses me a handful of keys. You know that thing? In a group setting. Yeah, totally. You could see like you could see the moment that he his hand starts reaching out second guesses.

I start fluttering second guesses himself. His eyes start darting all over the place. He looks at the girls that are it deflects off of his fat fingers and then the the sword comes down slices like the side of his face and then you hear him go. Okay. Yeah, Ving roll a d6 weakness becomes him three. Okay, so three damage. So you've got a nice bloody cut on the side of your face that but now you've got a light guard sword in your hand. What do the light guard weapons look like scimitars?

Yeah, we can just go scimitar. Yeah, cool as hell and it's got each sword has like like a verse of prayer on it. Cool like each light guard picks their favorite verse that like defines their fighting style and who they are. Oh that they make a paint out of crushed up saffron and grease. Oh the lard from the candle the light the tallow road tallow from the tallow from the tallow and saffron the tallows from whales. It's like whalers used to bring tallow. That's cool.

Well tallow and saffron pigment and the in the it's like the thing where like the handles are gold and then in the hilt is the pommel of saffron. So we also got a little bit of saffron. Yeah, totally cool. So we set up the third swords can catch on fire. I think that's not great. Cool. So you have a sword. Scary scary. What do you do with that sword? I attack. Yeah, hack and slash hack and slash. 12. Oh Jesus Christ. Yeah, roll your damage. 8 and I get a plus 10. Wow.

I think he's using the sword. More like like a bat. Basically, he's not using tuck is a real aversion to using like the sharp edge of all weapons. Talk literally killed a man and stuff them in a barrel in season one. It was a different person. That was months ago and that guy was both racist, transphobic and sexist. So I think we all are a fight with that guy being dead. Okay. All right. So the yeah, he's just you're smacking him with the flat.

Yeah, with the flat end of the sword and like like he also doesn't want to like raise a ton of heat against us where they're like it'll go from catch them to their mass murderers. They're yeah, murderers totally. So he like just like smash smash smash. It's like a whack-a-mole game. Yeah, the flat side. Cool. Yeah. So how many pass out? I mean, that's ten is enough to take out two. Okay. Yeah, cool. Right. So that's three left.

Yeah, there's a lot of like clang as tuck is just smashing people's helmets. And Billy, you run up to see your dad's doing some work. What do you do? I want to also do work. Yeah, I'm I have a job, too. I also have job. Can I like sneak sneak it? Like, can I do it where it's like I sneak behind them and steal weapons? Yeah, I'd say if you do a good trip, they have knives on their belts. Yeah. So if you did a good like trickster trade, there's also like a ton of loose weapons, right?

Because there's so many people knocked out. We're bound down by the thing. You could have gone and grabbed the weapon. Yeah, I'd say if I'm going to if you could do a defy danger dexterity, you can get up to somebody that's been knocked out and take their knife. I will do this. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, twelve. I grabbed the sickest of weapons. Actually, I'm comfortable saying that the weapon that you find is this person has a really nice knife that might not even be standard issue.

For whatever reason, this person has a knife with a little reservoir that you can see down the middle of it. And it's a little bit of a blade that would allow you to fill it with a substance that you can then like. That is stab people with. It's totally that. Yeah. Yeah. That's super. Yeah. And right now it's full of what it smells gross. It doesn't seem like it's a poison, but it's something. Can I spelt Spout Lore? Is that the right thing? Yeah. You could just sniff it. Sure. Spout Lore.

Sniff lore. Sniff lore. Huge. Wow. Holy shit. What is it with? Plus intelligence. But you got a six and a five. I got 11 then. Billy's the sniff Lord. Yeah. I got good sniff. And it's the sniff Lord because it's a food stuff. He's just used this to bring in some alcohol that he's not allowed to have. Oh, naughty, naughty. So what kind of what's a cool like Macaulay like hard liquor? Oh, oxblood oxblood. Yeah. You introduced that in season one. Oh, yeah.

So it's just alcoholic blood or is it called oxblood because it's a deep red. It's called. It's called. It's called oxblood. It makes it pomegranate juice. I think it is for me. Yeah. That's a cool. That's a really cool idea. Okay. Billy is armed. Oh, yeah. Can I stab a bitch? Yes. Bitch. This this is a backstab for sure. Because you've gotten close enough to this. Yeah. Cool. Backstab. So seven on a seven to nine with backstab. What happens? Okay. On a seven to nine, I get to choose one.

You don't get into melee with a weapon. You get to choose one. You don't get into melee with a weapon. You get to choose one. You get to choose one. You get to choose one. You get to choose one. You get to choose one. You don't get into melee with them. You deal your damage. You create an advantage for an ally. Reduce their armor by one until they repair it. I don't know. I think I just like to deal damage. Yeah, totally. So it means that like you're going to be in a fight now. Okay.

That's fine. Three. I stab his knee. Yeah. He cannot walk. Right in the back. Yeah. Their armor doesn't, of course, like go all the way around to the back of their knee and they can't get in. Yeah. So you just sink this knife into the guy and he screams in pain and falls to the ground and is like writhing. Sorry. As you run to his friend. He just left us alone. Yeah. A little bit of ox's blood got into him though. So he's getting a bit buzzed.

But one of the two remaining light guard hears that scream, turns around and sees you and starts walking towards you, lifting their sword. There's two guys left. Yeah. There's two left. Okay. Well, then I'll use my last hold to… Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Billy, who's turning to snab. My damage is a D6. I guess just drop kick him right in the back of the head. All right. Gekko Chi. Three. This isn't going to be enough to kill them.

I'll say that much. All right. But the way that you hit them, so you're just running and doing that two-foot kick on their back. You hit the ground, and the guy falls forward towards Billy. Billy, there's a person with a sword falling towards you. What do you do? I'm going to get out of the way of the sword and try to sword back. Sword back. Yeah. Poke. Defy danger dexterity to get out of the way. Oh, fuck. Twelve. You do like a reverse handspring. Yeah, it looks so cool.

And since this is not a surprise for this person, hack and slash if you want to fight them or stab them, I mean. Seven. Okay. So, yeah, deal your damage, but they're also going to deal damage to you. Six. Holy shit. And then roll a D6. Six. Whoa. I have a hold where I block and take half the damage. Yeah. As the guy is falling forward, he's swinging his sword, and he swings down, and the blade is coming for Billy. I slide in underneath. No. And it cuts through.

It gets through the little plate, like the little ridge in between the plates of metal that have allowed your arms to move. It's stuck in a piece of my flesh in between two plates. Yeah. So the metal stops it, so it doesn't go all the way, but it still hurts. Yeah. And Billy, the guy just lands in front of you with the thud. His sword arm is up, stuck in Ving's arm. What do you do? You deal the damage. So how do you kill this guy? Oh, my God. I'm so mad. I imagine he lands face down.

So it was just basically I held my knife up, and it just goes into his throat. Oh. Oh. What does Billy say to this guy who's sitting on his knife, or like laying throat first on his knife? Choke on this. Yeah. And his eyes go blank as the light of life leaves him. Oh, shit. I'm so sorry. I know you had a family. He immediately thinks of the family. Yeah. Because I just did that because Ving slid in, and I saw him get cut, and I was just like, well, fuck that. And the one.

There's one left, and they're standing in front of Tuck with the sword, like, held out in front like you're a moose or something. Yeah. And trying to be like, whoa. And they look around. Billy's just stabbed the shit out of people. Before that, it was nonlethal. Now there's a kid that's killing people. A puddle of blood is pooling out from his face. Yeah. And he drops his weapon, and it's like, whoa. I don't even like working for the light guard. Why do you work for them? It's a job.

You know how. You know, it's hard living here. They pay pretty well. And it's, like, prestigious. I just want to go. I just want to leave. Leave me alone. I just want to go. Okay, man. Okay. Don't tell them where we are. I'm not telling anybody anything. And he takes his helmet off and throws it on the ground, and he looks like he's maybe 18, and he's, like, unstrapping his armor and dropping it on the ground, and he's just booking. Okay. I feel so bad.

And as you're all standing there around these unconscious and dead bodies, Shia walks up with Zane, and Uma, and Ama, and looks around and is like, whoa, we should get out of here. I know a way back into the city from out here. So, yeah, you get to the top of the hill, and, Billy, you're, like, thinking about how this did not turn out how you wanted it to. Yeah, I feel so bad, and I'm crying again. Yeah, and you're, like, looking at your new knife. Do you keep the knife?

Yeah, I keep the knife, but I'm just, like, I'm a bad person. And you get to the top of the hill, onto, like, the top of the hill, like, this, onto the badlands that surround the upper ward, and sitting at the top of the hill is a sturdy, old-looking sandboat, sort of a wooden cabin sitting on top of very hardy skis with a sail sticking out of the top. And I imagine, like, there are a lot of, like, soldiers, like, library martial forces, because they're like, this is an extraction. Yeah.

They're dressed like civilians. Like, they're dressed just like sandboaters, but you can see in the way that they are standing and in the way that they're standing, and their general level of fitness, that these are definitely, like, librarians. That's cool.

And so there are people hanging off of this boat, like, sitting on top of the cabin, hanging off lines, and a hatch in the top of the cabin pops open, and out comes Farah, master librarian of the Margani Library, with sand goggles over her eyes. Cool, yeah.

And she puts them on top of her head, and it's funny, because she was obviously looking through, like, the pilot's opening, so it's just, like, it goes from her forehead to her cheeks of dust, and then she pulls the goggles off, and there's perfect circles. It looks like she's wearing a little raccoon mask. This chick is so fucking cool. She's so cool. And she says, let's get you to safety. And everybody loads up, and you head back out into the desert and to the Margani Library.

And I think that's where we're gonna end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz. Hey, I just almost said, my own name. Abdul. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Abdul. Playing Fat Billy, playing Fat Billy, the half-ling thief, Jessica Tai. Abdul. Stop making fun of the way I'm doing the outros and the intros. Thank you, Ted.

Thank you to Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music, and for giving us this theme song that allows us a weekly opportunity to make fun of Abdul Aziz. And thank you to all of you, our supporters, our susporters around the world for listening and having such a good time with us.

You can find us online at Spout Lore three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spout more

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Hello and welcome everybody to Spout Lore. That was definitely the first episode of Spout Lore. The least we've paid attention during a theme song, maybe, ever. Um, I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Raspberry mouse Sean O'Hara. And joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdulaziz.

Why would you put food in your mouth right before you started talking? I don't know man, we're like on, we're in like day three of a recording retreat, this is just kind of the vibe. Okay. Hi. And playing Ving, the half elf druid, Paul Oppers. Paul, are you fucking serious? Paul, sorry, I forgot. I am serious, I'm always Paul. Hi. Hi. Hey everyone. Paul, can I have a raspberry? Yeah man. And playing Fabulous, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hi, I have no food to eat.

That sound that you heard was a real- I think Abdul's got an audio aversion to eating sounds. No, I've just, Paul makes so many- So many micro noises as part of his process, I guess. My process of being alive, bro. He has to. I've never called you bro before, I felt weird and I like it. When last we left our heroes, they had entered the wall sections of the fortress that makes up the hearth.

Had a conversation about whether or not they wanted to go deeper into the hearth to recover their equipment, including Tuck's wand. One of a kind, spiritually imbued, stone-smasher axe, Teri, Larry, and Chad, which remains in the hearth. Yeah. Because they decided to escape with the escapees that they rescued in the form of Ama, Margani, their primary target, Uma, Shusha, a vessel for the icon of punishment, and a young man named Zane, vessel for the icon of wrath.

And during their escape, they were left alone. They were left alone. They were left alone. Led astray by Ama, Margani, who totally missed the completely safe secret passage, which leads out of the hearth, and instead ended up going in the direction of the broken shores, opening into a salt cavern that contained a rat king style mass of writhing, desiccated bodies. Salt zombies. And after a bit of tussling between Ving and the pile of bodies, everybody escaped, mostly unscathed.

Ving got his ass kicked a little bit. And you ended up on the broken shores. Like, on the broken shores, but like maybe it really did feel kind of like mostly just before the edge of the broken shores. You know what I mean? Yeah. You were still with inside of the wall in the hearth, which is probably within the material realm, not in the reality bending portion fully, which is great because that means that Tuck was able to lead everybody up the cliffs that ring the lower ward. Mm-hmm.

Billy in his scouting, unfortunately, thundered. Mm-hmm. And you were unfortunately fucked up a little bit, and you were ambushed by members of the light guard who had been tracking you. But thanks to Billy's command over his fairy powers, you were able to set up an ambush with the help of an illusion. Mm-hmm. And then you just fucking whooped their asses. Pretty cool fight. Yeah. I like that fight. And at the end of that fight, which was successful, you climbed the rest of the cliffs. Mm-hmm.

And at the top, you found a sand boat containing many members of the library, including Billy. Yeah. And then you found a sand boat containing many members of the library, including master librarian Farah Margani, who came out here personally to rescue you. And that is where we find our heroes now, in transit, in medias res. I think that there would probably be a let's wait to talk after we're safe kind of thing. Yeah. Tuck's been trying to dump exposition on everybody. Yeah.

And Farah's like, please, I'm driving. And then this one time. Yeah. And she's kind of caught up in the situation. Yeah. And she's like, I'm going to go to the library. And then she's like, I'm going to go to the library. And then she's like, I'm going to go to the library. And then she's like, I'm going to go to the library. And then she's kind of caught up in the situation. Yeah. And Farah's like, please, I'm driving. And then this one time. Yeah.

And she's kind of, she's quietly, she's being quiet. Yeah. And Farah's like, please, I'm driving. Yeah. And Farah's like, please, I'm driving. Yeah. And Farah's like, please, I'm driving. Yeah. And Farah's like, please, I'm driving. And then this one time. Yeah. And she's kind of, she's quietly, she's being quiet. Yeah. And Farah's like, please, I'm driving. Yeah. And Farah's like, please, I'm driving. Yeah. And Farah's like, please, I'm driving. Yeah. And he gives her a wiggly thumbs up.

A shaky thumbs up. She's going to take you to the main entrance of the library. So my initial thought for where it was located, not exactly like what it takes the form of, is an oasis town to the north of McCall called Elaine Springs. I think this is the kind of place where it's like a stop off for trade caravans, people that like, you know, hunt sandworms or whatever. Oh, cool. Yeah. So it's kind of a small trade town. Cool. Yeah.

And the entrance to the library is hidden somewhere in this town. So you come over like, Farah takes you into deep desert for a while. It's like rolling dunes. And you cross over a dune in the sand boat and you see trees springing out of the ground. And you see like the glitter of water and a collection of buildings. It's not a huge place, but it's, you know, there's a decent amount of people here. Yeah.

I was thinking like, what if all the inhabitants actually work for the library, but it's like secret. So like they have their regular lives, regular jobs, but everyone who lives there knows about, like they are basically protectors of the library. It's a support town. Yeah. Like there are like grocery workers, but everybody is employed by the library. Yeah. And so, yeah, they keep trade going to make it like a legit place where people would go. And they also maybe trade for.

Or the library, like they trade in food. And there's the people that do all the different things that are contained within the library. Yeah. So you roll into Elaine Springs. Farah docks the boat, quote unquote, in a place that's full of like the incoming merchants and stuff like that. In a packing warehouse. Yeah. Okay. In a packing warehouse. And gets out. Like it's a big barn kind of thing. Yeah. Like big bay doors open and we run into it. Yeah. And maybe there's like a ramp down.

Oh, we're doing it. We're not even right. Right down in the library. Okay, cool. So, yeah, it's you pull into this packing warehouse. The doors close behind you. And then the whole floor tilts. And the sand boat, like the sails tip back, fold in. And then you start descending. And it'd be cool if it was like into the water. That's what I was thinking. In the water. Oh, so cool. I like the idea of a land boat that then when it's going off the land, it goes into water. Yeah. Oh, cool.

So it goes into water. And it's like this, like, you know, underground stream or river. Yeah. That takes us to basically the library. Great. And that's where they get all the fresh water. Totally. That's really cool. That is so cool. So, yes, that is what happens. You sail along an underground river for a little bit. And then the boat very gently comes to a halt. And Farah, you know, she turns to you and says, we are here. We are safe. Please follow me. Oh, God. Oh, God. My arm is falling off.

And she leads you out of the boat. You hear a grinding and you look behind you in the direction of the river and you see like a stone door coming down, sealing the library off fully from the surface. Cool. Yeah. What is what is like the entrance to the library look like? Probably like cavernous and semi mined out like the rest of it. Right. With stuff built onto it. And crystal windows, round windows that look into what? Into a big. A big staging area, Bay Area. Oh, cool.

Like a big rose window with little ones around it. What do you see when you look out? When you're looking out? No, when we're looking into the library. Oh, you can see like people moving around, monks moving around, different layers of shelving and. Cool. Stuff like that. Cool. Yeah. Looks in on like the first chamber of the library that you enter. So she takes you into the library. People come and grab Uma and Zane and take them away to be looked after. And a person follows you.

And we've told them that they should keep feeding them saffron. I think that they know. Yeah. I think like Farah sees them and is like, okay. Yeah. And everybody on the boat is like, ah, yes. Also, we told them all the stuff. And that's why they're like, shut the fuck up. Yeah. We said it. We've repeated it a few times. Yeah. It's like, and then Billy fucking slice this dude's neck. Like, yeah. And I was like, I regret it. But it was really cool. I thought I could talk to the pile of bones guy.

And then he punched me. And I was so thirsty. And my hair got so big. Look at it. And I haven't had a snack since yesterday. They didn't feed us at all. Billy is a pro the size of himself. Yeah. Billy's hair is just straight out in all directions, basically. Now he's just, yeah. Two identically sized circles on top of each other. And, uh, okay. Yeah. So you enter the first chamber of the first level of the Margani library, which is very well constructed. There's so much to look at in this place.

There's many different levels of tracks and catwalks. Cool. So it's a lot of people moving around. Is this the kind of the heart? Like where it's like, okay, here's what I'm imagining. Like, uh, it's one of the flares of sunstone that they dug out. Yeah. And it's like almost shaped like a cocoon, like this, like a football shaped room kind of. So it's this massive atrium with like shelves coming up on all sides and like shelves suspended through it.

And at the bottom is like a group study area, basically like tables and stuff. So there's like a lot of traffic. There's a lot of people walking around. This is like the central zone of the library. Main corridors coming off like ventricles. Totally. To go to like the different flares to go to the more specific. Yeah. Kind of like a roundhouse zone for the different tram carts. Totally. So they can spin and then go somewhere else. You're allowed to talk at a regular indoor speaking voice here.

Yeah. There's a lot of talking. Oh boy. Billy's very excited. To talk. Wow. I run, I run up to a shelf. Yeah. Uh, yeah. There's a ton of books. Billy. I touch. What are you rolling? I don't know. I touch. I touch. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. What are you rolling? Uh. Dexterity. I don't know. To do what? Oh. I just. I don't know. To. I want to roll. To touch and be dexterous. Okay. So plus your dexterity. What's this? Um. I want. I just.

I don't even. What's your dexterity? Honestly. I. What's your dexterity? Is two. So. What did you get? I got 11. Okay. Billy extends his hand and his fingers touch a book. Yeah. Successful. Very exciting. Guys. Heal. Heal some health because that fulfills. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Actually. Billy levels up. Unexpectedly. I turned to a ride to. Holy shit. Okay. Sorry. I think I just like. I think Jessica. I. Me. Got excited. Yeah. About this library. Because I was like. Wow.

Beauty and the Beast library. Yeah. Totally. And I just wanted to touch it. Yeah. I get it. I totally understand. And there are an absolute metric shit ton of books in here. Like. They're everywhere. Every surface. Is covered in books. This place is a little less cluttered than the levels that you've seen. Because it's this atrium. Like this huge open space. The books are mostly in very tall stacks. Along the. Like inside the middle of the atrium. And then.

Curved bookshelves that have been set into the walls. Yeah. I pull out the pink book. Yeah. It's big. It is. And it's pink. And there are words in here. Yeah. Guys. Look. I run back with it. And I'm like. Pink book. Billy. Yeah. Did you touch that yourself? Yeah. I did. Amazing. You did such a good job touching it. I did. I carried it for you guys. Amazing. Thank you. He's got his arms all the way around the book. Waddling over. He's a big one. Look what I found. A book. And Farah says.

I would like to speak to. Myself. For a moment. Feel free to. Explore. If you choose. But. And I will return later. Where's. Where's. Where's Perel? I believe that you will find your friend. On the second level. Third chamber. Kind of offend. He's not here right now. He is currently. Indisposed. With. Lessons. Oh. Oh. He's getting his fuck on. Indisposed only means sex. Yeah. I know. He is. He is currently attending a lesson. A lesson. Cut to. Yeah.

You enter the third chamber of the second level. Before you get there. You hear. A bunch of voices going like. Ha. Ha. Ha. And then you walk in. And you see. Like. A square shape. Of. Kids between. Five and seven years old. Wearing initiates. Robes. And practicing some sort of martial arts form. And in the middle is Perel. Towering over these kids. He is way too short. Yeah. Exactly. It's. It looks really uncomfortable. And he's easily.

Two to two and a half feet taller than everybody else that's here. And he's going through the same forms. Going. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. He's got a yellow belt. Exactly. Yeah. And that. And he looks over. And he sees you. And he waves for a second. And then he goes back to what he's doing. We sit. There's a sitting area at the front of the room. And there are a bunch of librarian parents watching their kids. So we. Yeah. Walk. I'm sitting. With the rest. Which one's yours? Yeah. Exactly.

A couple of them are so excited. They're like. This is such a wonderful time. Tell us. But it seems like only yesterday. He was getting a new mustache. I take it. You're with him. Yeah. That one's ours. Right there. I brought him this book to look at after. Billy's just been carting around this huge. So heavy. I regret it. And after a few. You know. Like 10 minutes past. And the instructor does whatever their version of like a salute kind of thing is. Like it's over.

I don't know what it would look like. It's the open book. Oh. Oh. It's. It's two. It's two open hands. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a prayer. Yeah. I'm breathing in. From above your head to your chest. Out. And then an open book. I like that a lot. Cool. Yeah. Pretty cool. And all the kids do that. And Perel does that. And then the kids scatter towards their parents. Like laughing. And being like. Look what I. Look at what I learned. High fiving each other. High fives Perel. Yeah. And Perel runs.

Kind of jogs over to you guys a little bit. Like. Hey. What's up? How's it going? You're really out of breath there pal. I am. That was a very short run that you just did. No. It's from the other stuff I was doing. You look pretty cool. I could. Thank you. You did look cool. Thank you. Thank you. They were very kind to help me out a little bit here. How. How. How's everything with you? What happened? I hold up my arm. Oh. Oh. That. Like he sees that the. Underneath he can see like the pinching.

Where the metal digs into your flesh. And is like. Oh. Yeah. No. Ving. What happened? You don't want to know. It's not important. We got Ama. Wow. We also got two more demons. Oh yeah. There were more of them? Yeah. There's three. Mercy. Who we had to leave behind. And. Wrath. And punishment. Came with us. Wow. I. This is so far outside of my wheelhouse. That I. I honestly am not even. I'm not familiar with anybody that's ever even seen this wheelhouse. Wait. You've never met like.

I've never met a demon. But what about like warlocks? They were pretty common back in the day. Right? I don't know about common. I've never. I've never seen. I've never met one. Huh. I would hope that I never have to personally. Why? Are you familiar with the concept of a warlock? Didn't they? Like they just do magic by like connecting with like an icon or whatever. They're kind of just like demons, right? I. I wish that were true. So. As far as I'm familiar.

A demon is the McCollum term for someone that is forcibly possessed. Right. And they are compelled to enact that icons purview against their will. A warlock is an individual who actively seeks to engineer situations in which that icons purview flourishes. Billy doesn't understand what any of this means. So he's just like flipping through. Okay. Let me put it like this. A fire. A flame. In a forest. A fire. Will burn uncontrollably. A warlock. Would fill that forest with tinder. And grass.

And accelerants. To make sure that that flame is. Burns brighter. And hotter. And more destructively than it could have otherwise. So they're just trying to bring icons into the world. Why? What's the point? Power. They get more powerful when they do that? Presumably. Again. I've never met one. This is all theoretical. Uh. So. So. Did you get your magic back yet? Oh yeah. Sorry. I should have mentioned. I recovered my magical energy while you were away. No, of course not.

Well, we gave you so much time and it's not like, like, what are you doing? Just like diddling around your time here. Like here we are. Oh, we just have to put ourselves in mortal danger and just go into like the, the God of the flames house. Like no big deal. And fight a genie and almost die. Kill a husband. Some salt zombies. Yeah. Fight. Fight light guards. And here you are just like doing karate. Yeah. Billy cut his hand on some salt. Look at it. Oh, that looks bad, pal.

We gave you one job, Perel. I, I, you're okay. It's to become a wizard again. How hard is that? Yes, I can see. I can see what you mean. And I can understand how this would look like. I am not taking the gravity of your situation into consideration, but I am. I, what I am attempting to do to my knowledge has never been done. And it's going to be very difficult and I'm trying really hard. Has he learned anything?

Uh, I think he has learned some stuff cause he said that he found some accounts of people that had been given magical power, some people that had had it forced on them, like that kind of stuff, but he hasn't been able to find too many accounts of a person that has had it taken away from them and then gotten it back. Can we, I want to do it together. Yeah.

Spout Lore I guess yeah roll a Spout Lore yeah great 2d6 plus and oh wisdom yeah my sage my sage nice 11 okay so it's it's gonna be something interesting and useful so let's say that he has heard one story of a person that did do this how did they do it so they lost their magic and got it back yeah my mind keeps coming back to the fay yeah so the here's what I'm thinking is like the axe was like a shadow axe and we've kind of talked about how tlc are maybe becoming fairies because they're getting individuality so it was like an aspect of fairy magic that severed him from the thalmic realm and then it's like fairies also have the ability to kind of like yeah true pop between yeah yeah they float very easily through stuff that so that that would be interesting in that like it sounds like it would be him having a!

Tap into fairy stuff instead of like magic stuff like having to settle for a different kind of power I do like that though what if like magic like fairy stuff spirit stuff magic stuff all kind of like interconnected and it's really just like the way that you choose to use it yeah so it's kind of like the like water taking the shape of a glass yeah like spirit is like the the neutral lawful being just like the way that you choose to use it yes um um thing like that but like old journals from um a small group of people who kind of like the kelts were like really connected to like this whole thing of fairies yeah you know like I think it'd be cool if perel was just going about it so wrong oh yeah he was trying to he was trying to solve the problem like a wizard with man's magical yeah yeah like academic magic knowledge thinking that he needs to like find it yeah like or exercise it in some way but really it's like old old language old old rituals um so that you invite the fairies yeah to basically like guide you or play with you I really like that yeah maybe they like how they can possess a rock or a shoe they can also possess a mind yeah cool that's really cool yeah perel tells you all that I found a book about this kind of stuff I'm pretty sure that this has happened before okay yeah I just yeah in the book can some of these old texts and maybe even tablets be carved out of coral totally yeah thank you that's cool as hell yeah because if they're an island folk like the kelts oh I see what you mean yeah it's an island folk yeah the kelts are from the british isles that's not an island that's ireland the british isles those are islands but it's like that's like saying africa's an island no england england's an island smaller than vancouver island this is the conspiracy that I'm starting right now england's a continent england is a continent it's not an island it's bigger than australia it's bigger than the dual is doing donald trump hand motions right now what are they hiding why do they tell us it's so small that'd be so cool if it was like an island that was between like mccall and the principalities but way up north yeah tiny island and the people could have maybe there's still people but maybe there was also a mass migration of those people to the principalities and to different places yeah like the polynesians they the frozen north where the elves live maybe yeah yeah some of the druid magic is could toss there's like fairy roots oh yeah totally and it's like what if like from the fairy roots it those powers evolved into like druidism magic oh can I tell you guys one thing that I remembered from a while ago that I thought was really cool yeah that might relate to this okay remember a few years ago when I was like oh it'd be cool if there was like a type of druid magic that like uh it's done by carving into trees and the remnant of it is when people like carve a heart with like two people's initials in it and that's like like the forgotten long ago version of a love spell and that's the only thing that's left over maybe a lot of this information is carved into trees but it's like you said the coral thing so like only coral so there's only anything no no no no no no no shut up shut up because I think I think maybe jessica and I maybe I'm we might have hit the same thing because that to me would suggest that there are trees that still exist that are repositories of ancient magic knowledge yeah that's what I was like yeah perfect okay all right wow I like this I like where this is driving so the trees are books and ways of doing magic maybe which is or drew like druid spirit magic it's like druid groves yeah or maybe there's like fey elements to it or like you said it's like the root of all three it's like true like that's what I was imagining cool yeah the old stuff like the idea that sometimes a tree will grow that hasn't been carved but it will still have these runes like if it's in the the body of that tree or in the that spirit of that grove oh so it's like deep in the tree in the ground and in the earth cool so that is related to you by well in a variety of ways uh through like him showing you different books being like this is piece that I learned here this is an account I learned here here's a journal from somebody that was on a boat for a long time billy's excited because he can read some of it yeah there's definitely some accounts like pieces of bark that had words carved into them that billy's like oh I know what this says cool okay um yeah what's everybody what was everybody doing for the last like hour let's say we're we're in the atrium I would assume just like sitting at a table sitting at a table reading yeah because he was showing us all that stuff yeah yeah things reading and getting his artwork done nice oh yeah there's like a librarian like with a screwdriver trying to get him off yeah great yeah and farah approaches you about an hour later and is just so happy she seems serene at peace like a great weight has been lifted she says you have done an immeasurable service to this library and to me personally you have saved lives that have been in danger for millennia in some cases thank you you are friends of this library nice sorry that's the exact billy reaction we all start high-fiving she's she's smiling while you're high-fiving each other so um how's alma doing he is resting cool so how did you get the truth demon out for now it remains within him as does the icon of punishment and wrath remain in the others but we have texts and accounts that will allow us to eventually free them of that burden cool um and that and then what happens with them um and then what happens with them um you are welcome to stay within the library for as long as you need and have free reign.

First of all, thank you. Thanks. Yeah, that would be great. You could really use that. I will accept no thanks from you. My thanks are for you. Well, I mean, thank you. I will accept no thanks from you. My thanks are for you. Thank you for your graciousness. First of all, I really appreciate that. She just stops talking. So wait, we should start living here, right? Because we can't live in the city anymore. And I think Shia should stay with us too. Can we, is it okay if we have a roommate here?

Of course. If you vouch for them, they must be of sound character. Yeah. Yeah. Ving's sister used to live in the city. Cash. He's a wanted man. Cash is. Yeah. Text just like, oh. I thought you were talking about your sister. No, I mean, we kind of owe it to the guy. I don't. Can't he just go live with his dads or something? He'll be fine, right? Should we at least check in with the guy? Yeah, he's at the, she's still at Shia's place. He's kind of traumatized and we did that to him.

And Shia, you can presume, is back at her place. Once you were, once the journey, began back to the library, she just was gone at one point. Oh, what? You look, you were like, she was there and then you looked again and you're like, ah, well. She jumped off the boat. Yeah. She just disappeared. Yeah. Classic garden snake. Classic snake sister. Yeah. So we probably have to go back to the Siddell mansion. We have to send word at least. You can send word easily. You can send Oman.

You can send whatever. Yeah. Right. That's what I was thinking. Yeah. What is the most pressing thing that we have to deal with? I do want my ax back. I kind of want to beat Fatim up again. Yeah. That'd be cool. I mean, there's a physical pressing, like we do need to rest. We need to rest. Get ax. Kick Fatim's ass. The light guard. Do we have any more beef with them? They're going to try and kill us now forever. Yeah. They're for sure going to kill us.

And the torch, I feel like has like a vendetta against us just because of Perel and now because we like beat up his gin. Yeah. Yeah. Mm hmm. And we and freed and stole his Dean stole all of his demons and let some of them go. Right. We let his slaves go. Oh, we killed a couple of his guys. Yeah. At least one of them. It almost begs the question. Did he maybe have people watching you as you were fleeing? Did you maybe get followed? Are there maybe people on your trail right now? We should. Yeah.

Is there maybe a force being armed to mobilize? Yeah. Yeah. And march on the library. Farrah, is there by chance, like, do you have like spies or like lookouts? Because like, we really mess stuff up with the torch. And I don't know if he followed us. Yeah. Do you have a book on turf war? I look at her. I'm like, be honest with us. What are the chances that you think that the torch is going to cut his losses right now and call it evens? Evens. Even Stevens. Yeah.

There are tomes contained within the walls of this library, which speak of numbers lower than zero. Oh, wow. Whoa. I will have to consult with my text. Yeah, don't bother. It sounds not good. She basically says, like, the library has informants across the world. I will hold counsel and I will. I will determine what the next steps of the light guard are likely to be. And if I were to have to guess based on past history, you should prepare yourselves for a confrontation.

Are you going to kick us out if they try and invade the library? After what you have done for me, I would lay down my life for the three of you. Yeah. And we high five again. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. We do the three way high five. We are always. Oh, yeah. And we never do. A good job. We never do. Rarely. Rarely have I ever seen such a boisterous celebration as the proffered death of another. But I mean, like, you're not going to die for sure. We're going to be done.

So first, if you die, we've been dead for hours. You're fine. When we die, then it's even Steven. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Great. So. Are you sending word to Shia being like, hey, do you want to come chill in the library? Yeah. Just be like you and cash can come to the library. It's safe here. The light guard are gunning for us. PPS. You don't have to bring cash. Yeah. You could drop him off at his parents. Wow. You guys are really throwing cash to the dogs. It's up to cash. That guy fucking sucks.

But does he? I think we fucking suck. We suck. No, Billy. No. I refuse. I refuse to confront that idea that I'm not the coolest person in the world. Classic shitty roommate. I mean, remember when we moved in and he was really nice at first and he made us a welcome brunch and we just demolished it immediately and we didn't help him clean up and then we made so many messes. We took advantage of him being lonely to bulldoze our life on him. Exactly. We're not bad people. Okay. We. I will say.

Dennis is going in for another three way high five. We're like. No. No. As far as fantasy RPG adventurers go, you're sort of inherently bad people. Like you travel from place to place, killing wantonly, looting tombs. Like we kill with purpose. One. Two. Okay. Let's just play out a quick conversation between you guys and Shia. Like it's a text thread. Like it's just Oman going back and forth. Okay. You should be in charge of the communication.

I don't think I should be in charge of any communication. You're her brother. Okay. Hey, sis, you up. Yeah. You. Yeah. Hey, we're all at the library. And how are you doing? Well enough. Resting. Cash. Eating a lot. So he's in a bulk phase for him. We've been welcome into the library, into their folds. If you would into the folds, the beautiful beef curtains of the library. Oh, Jesus. What? Nothing. Nothing. Now you're writing is so much more. They responses are so this is how I text.

Well, because when Paul said you up, I was like, okay, we're doing it like this. You're sending a worm back and forth. The worm had to get like some warm friends. Yeah. The moths. The moths are coming back with this response is just a cloud of war. Yeah. If there's anything that's going to tip the light guard off, it's the number of bookworms flying back and forth. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Keep going. You and cash have been also welcome here.

We have cleared space and we're going to be here for some time. And with the light guard out there gunning for us, it's not safe for you and cash and Florina. Who's Florina? Her wolf? No, it was slippers. Slippers. Slippers. Slippers three. Oh yeah. I forgot that you people call her slippers. Oh. Yeah. And she sends back cash wants to stay might be too risky for me. Question mark. Don't want to blow my cover.

And then in the next response, there's a handwriting change and it's there's a bunch of backwards bees and ease and stuff. Yeah. And it says, I'll blow your cover. I knew you were going to fucking say that. I knew it. I was like, wow, I can't wait for Abdul to like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

They call it shape I mean shapeshifters shapeshifters let go of that yeah they know about shapeshifters and about um talking uh communion I mean it's just you're not safe and you're putting the dells at danger and we're family now he's really trying to sum things up because uh it's a text plus they've got a lot of different books here a lot of people with a lot of knowledge I just think that for your shapeshifting and for everything that you and I can spend some time together and really get to know each other this is important time for us as a family please come send and she replies k colon close bracket and I say dope and then the semi-colon and a uh open bracket by accident and when you write all of that oman's like what the fuck are you doing I have to fly the whole way you yeah oman's just sweating like give me like a minute before you send this frivolous message the last one he like he's like I'm not not leaving it's not necessary I don't need yeah phones should do that decide not to send a text message I can't wait till we have pocket ai that are like this is a bad idea yeah great okay so yeah shia of course the k colon close bracket shia has agreed yeah I'm gonna come and stay at the library with you guys and I'll see you next time um um um um there is a scene where she has a very touching and tearful goodbye with a member of the Siddal family.

Man. And the Siddals, the Vizier family is very tied to the light guard. Like there's great entanglement. Yeah. A lot of danger there. So yeah, you guys have this opportunity to rest for a day and get all your hit points back. Everybody's got all their hit points. Yeah. Any debilities too, probably you you're being tended by healers and stuff like that.

So, so I've studied the essence of this strange metal, ancient metal, which I think to me means that you get to use elemental mastery on, on this type of metal. Yeah. This is an old iron. Can you get rid of it from your body? Yeah, it's gone. Uh, and you guys have the run of the library. Basically. Cool. What does everybody want to do? Like I said, I'll give you a, a 10 plus Spout Lore of your, of your choice. I'm going to the unknown zone. Yeah. What, what information is Billy looking for?

I don't know. He's not looking for anything. He's just like been popping into his head into like different rooms and hallways. And, uh, he doesn't know where he is, but he does come into a room that's, he stops and he's like, whoa, cause it's a mess. Like not just piles of books, but actual paper is just spread out all over the floor. Stuff. Like a few people are in there working, studying things and they don't really pay any attention to me.

But Bill, goes in there and he just starts rifling through some stuff. I mean like quietly. Cause he, he notices they're working. I should be respectful. So he respectfully rifles through a bunch of stuff and they're really old. So he's being very careful, but, um, yeah, he stumbles across some drawings of very ancient, very language. It's drawings of trees with the carvings in them. Ooh la la. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So what does Billy learn from these drawings that is useful to him?

Um, there's six of them and they are old drawings, but they're dated and, um, the location is given. Ooh. Okay. And there are two locations. Ooh. And one is, what's the name of the island? Oh yeah. Nice. It's called the island of the island. Oh, yeah. Nice. Nice. I mean, the name Hibernia is really cool. Yeah, it is called Hibernia. Yeah. It's called Hibernia. That's what the Romans called Ireland. It means land of eternal winter. Fuck. Yeah. Cool. This would be called. All right.

We're going to use the ancient name for Ireland. So Hibernia is the one location, one location. And the other one is Everwood Valley. That makes total sense. Ooh. Yeah. So there's some of these trees in the Everwood. Yeah. So there's a lot of old growths. Yeah. There's some ancient growths in and around the Everwood Valley. Does Billy know what kind of tree it is? Like the name of the tree? One of them is an oak tree because Billy had had that carved into him. Oh. Ooh. I like it. Cool. Okay.

Great. That's awesome. So we know for sure that a place that we could follow up on the things that Perel learned is Hibernia and the Everwood Valley. Tight. I imagine because it's like the names of places that Billy arrives at some point to tuck and vang and is like, look at this. Look what I found. Wow. What is that? It's a drawing of the trees. This one is in the Everwood. Whoa. Where I'm from. Cool. Do you know that tree? I do. Haven't seen it in a long time. What's its name?

I'm not supposed to tell you guys. You're a very good secret keeper, Billy. Thank you. Appreciate that. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I appreciate that. I like that fairies get so suspicious when you ask what something's name is. Like, why do you want to know? Yeah. He's sleeping. I'm surprised someone drew a picture of him. That's really rude. Oh, and also there's this tree from a place called Hibernia. Hibernia? Yeah.

It's the island where the fairy folk and the druids first came from. That's very cool. I can't know this guy's name either. Okay, we won't. I didn't ask. Well, I just knew you would. Awesome. Okay, so what are Tuck and Ving looking for? Tuck wants to talk to Ama. About? It's kind of been rattling around in his head why he couldn't see the truth demon. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Usually, he brushes it off pretty aggressively, any of this kind of shit, but he's like, what the fuck? He's like so quiet.

He's so quiet in here that he can't ignore it anymore. Does that make sense? It does, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can talk to Ama. He's slept for a whole day before you can talk to him. And I ask Farah first. I'm just like, hey, Ama and I have kind of a past. We had some stuff happen between us, and I need to ask him some questions about that. And I think I tell her, I'm like, when I met him the first time. On the deck of the purifier, everyone else saw their truth, but I didn't see anything.

She furrows her brow and says, oh, that is most interesting. Of course, you can speak to Ama. Try not to excite him. He's an old man. Okay. And she lets you into, he's been sleeping in her chambers, which is identical to the chambers of everybody else in the library. So, there's like a Spartan bed in the corner. There's a bunch of books hanging out. There's a bunch of books everywhere, a lamp for reading, and Ama is sleeping on the bed. There's a slight scent of saffron in the air.

And Tuck, he comes in, and you hear rattling a tray of food, and there's two feet of a party sub. I think a sub is a very common food maybe in the library. Well, it's just a sandwich, right? It's bread with stuff. Yeah. Yeah. The McCollin Delicacy Sandwich. Yeah. All right. And he puts it next to Ama, and then he sits next to his bed, and then he leans in pretty close, and he's like, can you wake up, please? I brought you food. His eyes flutter open. Hi. Hello. I brought you a party sub.

He looks over at the sandwich, and then looks back at you like, what can I help you with? I brought two feet so we could share if you wanted. I am not currently hungry. Thank you. Okay. And then Tuck double fists, takes a foot in each hand. It's party flavor. If that changes anything. Is there something that you'd like to speak about? Okay. He takes a big bite. I'm not going to talk you through- It's like a party in my mouth. Yeah. And everybody's invited. Yeah. Everybody's invited.

Why did you come here? I wanted to ask if you remember meeting me and my friends on the Purifier. Yes, I do recall. I was still aware of every encounter and every situation I was placed in as a vessel. So you remember. You remember when we saw each other. I remember when the truck came. I remember when the truth demon looked on you. Yes. And I remember- You remember when he looked at my friends. Yes. I remember a great disturbance and pain and confusion on the demon's part. And- When he saw me?

Whatever interference happened. I'm trying to think because the reason that that happened was Larry, Terry, and Chad. Oh, Larry, Terry, and Chad. That's what you said. You said that the axe helped you see what was underneath. Yeah. When I saw him. So that was when I saw him, but not when he looked at me. When he looked at me, I didn't see anything. Yeah. And then I used Terry, Larry, and Chad to see the real guy inside. Yeah. So he remembers that as like pain. Yeah.

He does remember that as pain. That's interesting. He remembers it as feeling similar to the suppression and separation that- That the rituals the light guard used to contain him felt like. Like that kind of tearing. Tearing of like the icon from his like physical form? Yeah. Like removing the shell from a clam. You know what I mean? Like this like forcible separation. He remembers a similar feeling. I guess that kind of makes sense because TLC, they do everything through spirit energy. Mm-hmm.

And spirit energy can like force wedges between like- The material plane and like other realms. Mm-hmm. So maybe it was like kind of prying out the icon. Yeah. When I did for the blood god. Mm-hmm. So what do we think that that means? What useful tidbit does Tuck get from that? Well, I think that's just more about the acts. And the thing that I'm really interested in- Yeah. Is why before I looked at you- Mm-hmm. Why couldn't you see me?

There have been individuals that have been exposed to a demon of truth and have lived in their truest self. And in that case, their own form is reflected back on them. In my time as a vessel, I have never encountered another individual who was unable to perceive truth. So if the demon was unable to perceive you and you unable to perceive it, then you are unable to perceive it. Perhaps there is no truth within you.

Perhaps you were obscured from truth, or perhaps there is a power in you that rivals that of truth. And Tuck's like, okay. Party sub. Two party subs smashed together, being jammed into his mouth. Yeah. The camera cuts back to me and I've turned it into a quad sandwich. And he goes, all right, party time. I'm like, okay. I'm like, okay. I'm like, okay. There's a ton of work to be done. There's a ton of work to be done. Cool. Ving. What's Ving been looking into?

He's been wrestling with having less of a connection with the Spear Realm. Losing that connection with his shapeshifting and he being static. And losing that connection with his mom. So something that I can't get with this would be finding out about how wizards that weren't on the Wizards Reign are or something. Does that make sense? Or witches. Finding out about witches rather than wizards which are like wizards that aren't within the the like the conclave that structure. Yeah. Yeah.

They're not part of the group of wizardry. Totally. They don't have towers. Yeah. Witches are wizards of the wild. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. So tell me about the wizards of the wild. You tell me. That's how we've been doing this bro. Okay. So these would be magicians that rejected the the structure that wizards had created or weren't afforded the privilege. Oh yeah. Because we've totally talked about people that were like chosen somehow to become magicians.

The people that weren't found and trained. Yeah. The people that had to figure it out on their own. I imagine some of them are also people who are like kicked out too. Yeah. Yeah. Which is why they have a negative connotation. Oh yeah. If they're kicked out for a fucked up reason. Yeah. People like oh you're probably one of the witches out there but some of the witches are just. They were never trained formally. Yeah. Or they rejected the formal structure. Rejected by an authoritative thing.

Doesn't necessarily make them bad. Cool. Is there prevalence of witches of the north? I can't see why not. There's probably an accounting of them. Yeah. Yeah. At the very least. Because there's less structure up there right? In general there's less people. There's less like there's enclaves of people but there's less Yeah. Totally. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Witches that would be like wow this is actionable we can go learn more about this maybe my mom was a ancient descendant of the people of hibernia yeah maybe you find a family name or my mom's family name yeah I like that you have the staff right yeah no yes yes well I will when um oh right staffs at the shia and shia I should have fucking left the axe with shia I fucked up so bad this would not be an issue if you had and I think part way through this day is shia does show up like because this has been hours and hours and hours of you guys studying and resting and all that so she shows up with slippers three uh in much more simple clothes than she usually wears in her disguise and she's just like wow she's walking around wide-eyed this is incredible she gives everybody the stuff that you left with her uh so you get the spear um I left my little backpack there you get your tiny backpack what did billy leave um his uh hammock full of his belongings which is like a backpack now yeah I imagine billy has a bindle yeah a bindle made out of a hammock here's your little string bag billy thank you there's a lot of old bread in here but there you go uh yeah so it's not old you can still eat this yeah um so yeah if that is what ving wanted to do then you have the spear for reference and you also have your sister and she can try she can read it better totally yeah well family uh like you know ancestry.com moment yeah my sister yeah that's the section ancestry.com do we want to figure out your mom's druidic name or do we want to hold on to that what if the family name is ilia oh he finds out that she's been going by her family last name yeah so cool yeah okay that's great all right fuck yeah so you find out that that you realize that iliana is a druidic family line ancient druidic family name from hibernia be cool if like I go to say hi to shia and you two are reading yeah and I'm like oh iliana like to a really old family name and I'm like oh iliana is like a really old one of the really old runes like yeah yeah yeah yeah I like that a lot and you're like billy just walks by he's like oh that one had your mom's name in it yeah what's she doing in there what billy a meatball falls out of the sub that he's holding anyways see you later yeah would you get that parties up oh tuckhead half of one he was sadly walking around the atrium be like fucking ama didn't want this it's kind of old but like not really there's a meatball rolling on the floor catching a lot of dust and I eat that they're like no food in here sorry some library and we all are sitting at the same table and we put the subs under the table as she walks by and we're like yeah no food no food like marinara sauce all around her the table's made of glass you're holding subs under the table table's glass table's glass table's glass uh cool I like yeah thanks guys yeah so it works so billy uh quest thread we found like the quest the jumping off point for the next adventure tuck a bunch of useful information about maybe himself and ving more revelations about your family line and maybe a contact once we get there yeah oh this is so this is fun I like being in a library with you guys this is where I was hope library existed yeah this is where I was hoping we could get and we're at it we're in a time crunch in terms of uh events that you have kicked off but I think this is a permanent mechanical benefit of the library the margani library if you spend a day studying you get a 10 plus on the Spout Lore sick yeah oh I love that yeah but you have to like spend the whole day studying no problem no problem party sub study party order 400 feet of parties when we're steady do we still get to recharge our hit points when we do it or is it like you choose one or the other oh in this case I already said you heal all your hit points no but in the future I think maybe it's the study is going to be a lot more effective I think it's going to be a lot more effective so rigorous that it's not the same as resting.

Yeah. Rigorous is such a funny word. Rigorous is a good word, a solid word, a respectable word. I will not hear you besmirch the word rigorous. We're all doing sex motions. Jessica's is the most confusing. No one respects language. This is the V and the P. Which one's this? I think that's two buttholes. That's two buttholes touching each other. These are buttholes that touch. Have you ever tried it? It's amazing. Pooping into each other's butts back and forth.

That's literally what I thought sex was when I was a kid. That's so funny. It was like the dad poops into the mom's butt and the poop turns into a baby. Okay, great. So yeah, that is how you pass that day. I think the next day Farah finds you all in the morning. You're having the continental breakfast, you know, kicking it in the cafeteria. Yeah, there is a mess hall. It is the it is that kind of thing. There are cooks here. And they're great because they're so well read. What are we eating?

Omelet station omelets. Yeah, there's an omelet station. Oh, fuck. Yes. Pomegranate seeds in my omelet. Please just you're just eating pomegranate seeds. Oh, no, I'm having omelet too. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of good fresh fruit that comes from a lane Springs above. Oh, cool. Yeah. Texas got a bowl full of dates and a small Turkish coffee. Nice not but this world's equivalent of Turkish McCall and coffee. French French coffee.

Great and Farah comes to find you and sits down and very casually almost seemingly not worried says the light guard will be marching upon the library very soon. Oh, no, we've withstood their aggressions before and we will do it again. They know that we're here. Why do they how do they know we're here? They must have followed us surveilled us. It was really only a matter of time before they discovered the entrance in. A lane Springs unless the one of us is a rat.

I will say that that to me seems very unlikely a perfect thing for a rat to say where have you been the last two days Farah gathering this information fair enough far enough the light guard will march on the library in a day. Perhaps two at most prepare yourselves for a siege and I think that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Thanks for joining us for Spout Lore.

Joining me is always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz so long playing Ving the half elf Druid Paul Oppers to you in the siege and playing fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica tie scary. I know joining thanks to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music the genius that he is and thank you to all of you are incredible supporters for supporting us in all the ways that our hearts are supported by you. You can find us online at Spout Lore most places including patreon.com slash Spout Lore.

Thanks a lot everybody. See you next time. We will not leave you without a resume. We will not leave you without a conclusion. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I gladly Spout Lore.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm Spelt, and I'm here to tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara, joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz Hello! Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers Hey there! And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai Hi!

When last we left our heroes, they spent a day in rest and relaxation in the luxurious Margani Library After some pretty dicey extraction fighting, they decided to just recuperate and study and spend their time here Shia the Garden Snake and Ving's newly found half-sister decided to leave her place at the Siddel Estate and come to stay at the library in its safety Leaving the gang's former roommate, it would seem, is now his classification He'll always be our roommate in my heart Yeah, leaving casual plates to live at the Siddel Manor Weird move on his part Yeah, maybe you could see him later Okay Maybe he fell in love with one of the servants Oooh!

Girlfriend! That'd be cute Yeah That'd be nice, yeah It'd be good for him Yeah, he's really been pining about his ex-girlfriend for too long Totally, he needs to get over that lady And after everybody decided that things were safe and sound, we found Perel the Wizard doing some yellow belt exercises with the children of the Margani Library Learning the very, very first basic forms of silent word And then we learned some stuff What did we learn from the spelt lores that we did?

Uh, we learned about how to play the game We learned about the land of Hibernia, which is the land where the Fae were originally from And also where the root of Druidism And we learned that there's some trees in Hibernia and in the Everwood Valley Which have like ancient, like super ancient carvings of Fae language on them Which might be part of the puzzle in getting Perel his magic back Yes And we also learned Uh, that Vings' mum, Ileana That was actually her last name Which is an ancestral name of an ancient race of people from Hibernia So Vings' roots might be in the island, at least from his mum's side Which lends further to her, the possibility of her being some sort of wizard or witch of the wild And we learned kind of, or we at least intuited or implied that the people of Hibernia, the source of their magic Came from the fact that some of them had faerie blood in them Yeah Which descended from faeries in some way And we also learned Uh, party subs not allowed in the atrium We knew that though, there are signs everywhere that say that No party subs There's a flashback where we're talking to a librarian who's like You knew it, because you snuck it in in a backpack They didn't say no party subs It says food, that means all food Party subs are barely food They're more party than food Doesn't say no parties, so What did Tuck learn?

Tuck asked Amma about why he couldn't see the truth demon And Amma was like, I don't know But that might mean that you're truthless There's either no truth in you, some power in you rivals that of truth Or um, yeah, you are like absent of truth Yeah, so really more questions than answers I hope that was a great payoff for you listeners This is you, Abdul, you did this Yeah, fuck you listeners Everyone that's interested in knowing Tuck's backstory I'm gonna drag it out for nine more seasons Joke's on you, we don't even know what his backstory is Because he won't tell us Ha!

Uh, and the end of that day was uh, heralded by Farah Margani, master librarian approaching the three of you And Shia, presumably, and Perel, probably To tell you that, according to her sources, the Lightguard was preparing, and is preparing for, And is preparing to march on the library And that you should prepare yourselves for a siege And that is where we find you now One question Yes What's a siege?

A siege is an assault upon a- Ving's asking her Oh, uh, uh, she looks around, do you really not know or is this a joke? I saw a play once called Under Siege Yep, what happened in that play?

Uh, there was a guy in a house, I remember he has a ponytail and he was pretty badass Okay, so no, that is not what a siege is Uh, a siege is an assault upon a fortified location So the Lightguard will be assaulting the fortified location that is the library Our initial priorities will be to ensure that the Lightguard does not find the entrance to the library And if they do, to defend the library with every possible shred of our lives How do you three believe that you would be most effective in a war?

I don't know, we're good at fucking stuff up Yeah, we're good at fights, I spear some omelet into my mouth And we're good at like, like sneaking around and Yeah Like making jokes I've almost killed Fadum before You've almost killed the chief immolator? Yeah, it happened a couple of days ago, he is half blind and very mad at me What? I don't know I don't know What state did you leave him in your fight?

Burnt Well, in that case we can only hope that he is receiving continued medical attention and will not be upon the field Do any of you have any military experience? My dad was in the military? I fought in many wars And it sounds like a joke, but it's true What wars has Billy fought? I guess Tuck is interested, what wars have you fought in, Billy? Uh, the war of… Winter Um The… The… The… The… Big…

There was a big war That was almost as big as the war of winter There was, uh, the wizard war You fought in the wizard war? I did And… I don't know, probably a few others I can't remember them right now Uh, it sounds like to me, based on your previous activities and excursions, that you fought in the wizard war? Uh, I don't know, probably a few others? I don't know, probably a few others? I don't know, probably a few others?

You know, some of these were some of the best activities and excursions that you might be best suited to hit-and-run distractions, guerilla tactics, disrupting enemy lines I mean, Ving would probably be the best to deal with the guerillas I can talk to the—if you've got guerillas that need going—I can be your guerilla in the mist I'm sure that you are all aware that guerillas are not indigenous to McCall and I'm disappointed that you would even—you would even suggest that there would be guerillas present Hey, what do you get when you have four guerillas and you get— four gorillas and you give them a gold piece, but you only ask two of them to come to, to, to return to your, to your place afterward.

After you give them the goal, if you only want, wait, what do you get? What do you get? If you let him, let him do it. What do you, what do you get? What do you get when you have business being trying to, he's trying to find a joke. No, he's trying to remember the joke. What do you get when you have, um, four gorillas and, uh, you want to sell two of them for a one gold coin. What do you get for two gorillas out of the four gorillas you sold? Oh my God.

I don't know what you get a silver back, silver back, one silver piece back. What do you get when this guy gets it? That was, uh, I'm sorry. I'm not good at jokes that I've heard from other people. It was, what is the, what is the expression? That was, uh, yeah, a long walk for a short drop. So the library will be undergoing its own preparations. And I suggest that you prepare for the coming battle in whatever way you see fit.

You will be given whatever degree of autonomy you require to be the most effective. If you could give us like a list of things to do that would, it would help us. Um, we're pretty, like if we don't have a goal, we're pretty loose. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Pretty loose and hard to contain. Okay. So what do we think the things that she says you could do for preparation would be? Stretch. Uh huh. Rest. Oh, for prep. Yeah. We have to prepare, I guess. Gear up.

Any healing herbs or like medicines we can have. Yeah. Do you have any wine, wine wood? It's kind of like a weird specialty item. Yeah. That pops up here and there. So probably not. We might have to go to like the bizarre. Okay. And, and see if somebody has some of it. Yeah. Cool. Some fucking shyster that we know like Randy. Yeah, totally. He would. Cool. Okay. So yeah, that's a good idea.

Cause she would be like, yeah, we have, we do have, you know, our arboretum contains some medicinal herbs, but not anything that would be of immediate use during a fight. Okay. Let's try and find some wine wood. Good. Is there a bizarre like up above? Um, yeah. Yeah. There would be one in, in Elaine Springs, but there wouldn't be as much of a variety as there would be in McCall. Hmm. I'm fine with going to McCall.

If we, if we try and like sneak in, like wear disguises or we can get somebody, get some is, did Shia come yet? Yeah. Shia's here. Yeah. She's been here the whole time. She's definitely less, uh, noticeable than the three of you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Even the silhouette of the three of you together would be so much more noticeable. Okay.

So if Shia is going to go to the bazaar for you and try and find this, I kind of want somebody to roll a defy danger charisma with a plus one to determine how much, she's able to get, uh, I guess it makes sense for Ving, right? Yeah. Sis, have you heard of, uh, wine wood? Uh, I know. I don't think so. And this is horrible vintage. It tastes like a lake. It's new ish to the land. We technically invented it. Um, okay. And it's a healing potion wine. It what? Yeah.

It heals and it clears you of your woes, physical and mental. We need some of that wine for the siege. Right. Two to six plus charisma and a plus one. So that, well, it doesn't matter. 12. What a great role. Holy shit. You got this. Okay. Yeah. All right. Okay. I'll, I'll be back as quick as I can. I'm going to, yeah, I'll, um, yep. And she's walking away muttering to herself like that. Like, okay. Yeah. Uh, and she's gone booze run.

And you know, I will say that an amount of time later, she comes back with enough doses for like two per. So each of you would get two healing potions, but she hasn't returned. Like she won't return for several hours and each one heals 10, he'll send. Fuck. Yeah. That's awesome. This is a moderately paced gear up. See, uh, so what else? We should probably look up stuff about the torch. Oh yeah. Oh, good idea. Yeah. We could research stuff about the torch.

Is there an autobiography of him here in the library? That would re that would require like the study thing that we've talked about. So if you wanted to roll a spell or you would have all of the possibilities of success and failures as well. Lord, but if one of you wanted to, if you wanted to commit your entire day to doing that, I'd give you the 10 plus, but you, that would be the only thing that you'd be allowed to do this day is just study. If you want the 10 plus. Oh, okay.

Also, I don't think that you've used your bardic lore on the torch. I haven't. So that's a question. You could ask a question. Yeah. God's in their servants. Yeah. Cool. What's his greatest weakness? Um, I don't know if there, there would be a text that is like, he has, he has a trick knee. You know what I mean?

But I, something that I think you would find in your studies and also comparing it to stories that you've already heard is that you find a text that describes the operations of the church of the flame and the light guard like 400 years ago. And in it, they describe somebody that sounds an awful like, like the torch of McCall. The similar description of like a man of powerful countenance and, and stern temper able to command the flames itself, et cetera. Wicked abs.

You can see them through his shirt, salt and pepper old, but making it work. Yeah. Uh, so the kind of guy you want to grow old with slash grow up to be, you want to be him or you want to be in him, you know, all the kind of stuff. Yeah. So you find a reference to what you're like. This is the, this is the, this is the torch. This is weird, but this sounds exactly like the torch and it's, it was written 400 years ago. Is there a picture? Does it look like there'd be like a drawing, right?

And the drawing is like, yeah, man, that sure looks a lot like the guy that we know. So he might be 400 years old. Who can say something's going on with this guy? Yeah. He's, he was already older than you thought he would be. And he's also way, way, way potentially older than you even thought. Can I, can I, if Perel reads for me, can I study? Yeah, totally. Do you want to spend like a whole day? A whole day studying? Yeah. Perel. Okay. Yeah. Perel stick around with Billy and, and help him read.

Unless you guys want to do it. No, no, no, no. That's great. Okay. But can I ask you a question? Yeah. Or can I ask a question on your behalf? Yeah. Speak for you. So does that mean she can't gear up? Yeah. It basically means that if this is what Billy wants to do, Billy's doing this for the whole day. What? Yeah. No, you can like, you can roll your Spout Lore and hope that you succeed. But, um, if you wanted to just get the 10 plus, I'll just roll. Okay. Then yeah.

So two to six plus, uh, intelligence with a plus one. Five. Uh, you know what? Perel did his best. He read everything aloud to me and I did not retain anything. Cause there was a jar of peanut butter. Yeah. In the distance. And I was trying to like, will it towards me, but I also do want it that badly. Cause I just eaten. So that was my afternoon. Eventually Billy just wanders, away. I'm done with this. Yeah. And I'm like, sorry guys. I, I really tried to read, but I think I was too ambitious.

What was the topic that you were trying to get Perel to help you study? Yeah. It was a battle from 300 years ish ago between who is probably the torch of McCall and the orcs. Okay, cool. So you find nothing of use or interest. And Perel the whole time is like, wow, this is unbelievable. You would never believe the things that I'm reading. Billy, isn't this cool? And you're like, uh-huh. Looking at a jar of peanut butter. Billy, what'd you find out that I didn't want peanut butter that much.

So you failed that. And I will hold onto that. You know, you know, when you're reading a book for school and it's so boring that you have to like, hold your eyes open to like, cause otherwise words don't go in and you're just like fucking go inside the exams in an hour. And your eyes become so blurry. Like you literally blink. So many times you're like, I cannot make out what it says. I should go to the doctor.

Oh, uh, actually, I think if you were to learn something, it would be something stressful. Okay. And basically what Perel tells you afterwards is the account of that battle is with the torch at the lead. They wiped out that army, wiped them out off the map. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Was tech still wanting to do a spell or as well? Yeah, I'll do a spell or tell me what you're, thinking about before you roll.

The thing that I was thinking is that the torch and the light guard have tried to burn the library before, which means that there's like some information in here that they are trying to get rid of. So I want to see if I can find that information. Cool. Just as fucking leverage. Yeah, totally. Seven, seven. So interesting, but not useful. Hmm. Okay. I think what you find is a handwritten book. You find a handwritten like journal basically from an old librarian. Oh, cool.

Who has since passed on describing recent changes in how the church seems to operate and the way that the light guard operates. This is maybe from, I want to say between 90 and 110 years ago. And you're trying to make sense of it. It's, it's written in a kind of weird old form of McCollin. So you're like, Oh my God, just be fucking clear about what you're trying to say. It sounds super dry as well.

But what you do find are the words, and you're not sure if this is referencing the church as a whole, the torch or the God of the flame, but you find a line that basically says demonic influences are all but assured. Oh, Oh man. Yeah. I steal that book. You don't have to steal it. It's a library. I steal it. I put it in my little backpack. There's a librarian standing right next to you. It's like, you're going to put that back, right? And I, I, I, I am about to lie.

And then I'm, I'm like, no, I'm not. You should do something about it. I'll tell far. She's not going to do anything. She owes us. She does not owe you the library itself. Look, this is important. I need this. Okay. I'm going to go tell master Margani. And he turns around and starts walking away. Get to me and Farrah's office a little while later. And she made me sit on a really little chair. Yeah. Just give the book back. I need it for things.

You can, you can study the book as much as you desire. But if it passes the walls of this library, my debt to you is paid. Farrah, I'm too dumb to study and remember the things, you know, this about me. You have done a great service to this library and to my family line. But if you attempt to steal that book, it will be on your head. Can I, this is something she can not be convinced on. Son of a bitch. Yeah, sorry. And I take the book and I slam it on her desk.

And I'd be like, I'm going to forget everything in this book and it's your fault. And I leave. It's your fault. She takes the book and she kind of, uh, just leafs through it. Like, Hmm. Yeah. He uses his own stupidity as an argument. Yeah. And when it's not an effective one, but it's certainly a way to go about it. I don't know. It got her to read the information that we need retained. What's being doing while Billy and Tucker studying?

Uh, he wants to try and learn where all the, we were talking about earlier, how there's been previous different, uh, entrances to the library. So he's trying to figure out all the different entrances over the years. Two to six plus wisdom. Well, uh, Bing is studying all these. He's like going over these books and drawing his own diagrams and like figuring it. He has them everywhere. He built a little diorama of this 3d model of all the old entrances.

And then he didn't like, he just pans up and he's like reading this book and it just says like McCollum plumbing, which has nothing to do with the library at all. He's just been studying the wrong fucking thing. Like you go to the front door and you're like, okay, there's one. Then you go to the secret. Uh, entrance that you guys came to and you're like, okay, there's two. And then you're looking around like, I guess that's it. A good day's work for Ving Vang Zumba.

I do love the shot of him, like being like diagrams done. And then it's like a McDonald's play play. Yes. Yeah. Of a toilet done. So yeah, I'm going to say that that failure means that there might be entrances and exits that you're unaware of that the like art will be able to utilize. Sick. Great job. Everyone. Glad to write it up. But to that end, we should probably do something about the entrance that we knocked into the library. Oh yeah.

We were talking about trying to, um, recruit the jackals or convince them that they need to be on the lookout. Yeah. Can we go to the jackals? You could, it'll take you a little bit to get back to McCall and then deal with that and come back. But how are you sneaking back? Are you like do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Cart merchants cart in the cart a pile of clothes yeah I guess we could go as cart people yeah oh yeah cause the Elaine Springs they are different what are they merchants or people what's the thing about them it's like a it's like a halfway merchant town like people that corral sandworms stop here people that are coming from further territories so we'll just disguise ourselves as merchants great I was basically asking if you're gonna roll defy danger charisma or dexterity think charisma with disguises yeah totally oh not bad plus 10 nice yes okay great so what do we want to talk about what the disguises look like or is it a bunch of cloaks maybe you guys are disguised as museum curators and you're like we gotta take this mummy exhibit to the town yeah I am the mummy oh I was gonna say I'm in the mummy that's funny cause I was gonna say I'm in the mummy so everybody's fighting over who gets to be the mummy yeah no I'm the mummy I wanna be the mummy like all all three of us are arguing about it cuts to like just a horse and carriage going down with three mummies and it just gets dumped in jackal territory well we're all doing our own plans then yeah a centaur that works for the library like drags you in as mummies and dumps you in jackal territory and they're just like oh my god that took forever and we're still kind of mad at each other you call that a mummy costume everybody's trying to lay a stiller on you as possible being like I'm the best mummy that happens that definitely happens and you get dumped in jackal territory like an hour and a half later you're in an alley you guys didn't make mouth holes what Jesus you've never been a mummy before says the guy with gills you had so many opportunities to breathe yeah so you're in jackal territory you're wrapped up there's a pile of linen bandages and I just call out Jake you're just gonna start yelling we're quietly yelling Jake Jake Jake yeah we're quietly yelling oh wait can I use my under my connection yeah you can probably use connections cause it works with ragamuffins but it also works with straight up the criminal element yeah yeah Billy's using connections and in the background Tuck and Bing are ineffectually scream whispering Jake Jake stop it you guys Jake I'm trying to do something 2d6 plus charisma with connections yeah okay I'm trying to do something 9 9 if anyone wants to aid yeah we aid by scream whispering 2d6 plus bond it is helping I failed fuck 5 do you get that one experience and so with a 7 to 9 you have to settle for something close or there are strings attached can we do strings attached yeah how does Billy get the attention of the jackals well I am still loosely covered in linen and there's like the teens that we beat up uh huh who are like manning a rundown saloon looking building and they see us and they're like oh fuck and I'm like hey it's cool we're not here to beat you up this time we're just looking to talk to Jake and they take you I guess into maybe the saloon that they're standing outside of yeah and there's the saloon's called the stray dog and uh they take you into the basement and lounging on a stack of crates that has been made to roughly look like a throne is a rangy young man with his face hidden behind a black painted dog mask and he thinks it's really cool yeah it's like painted black it's got like the gold lines for the eyes and all that he goes what has brought you to the the um here what so I can't understand you with a dog mask on he tilts his head up a little bit so you can see his mouth moving underneath the mask what has brought you before me Jake the jackal it's a little distracting that mask wait do you want to take it off yeah I cannot for beneath this I am disfigured from the many battles that I have fought we'll give you five coin if you take your mask off he takes it right off and he just looks like a regular like 20 year old guy underneath dark skin really short hair it looks like he cut it with a knife what's up what do you what do you want we're here with a job oh well we're always looking for new clients do you know who we are I have an idea yes Bing holds up one of the wanted posters this is us that's supposed to be you guys right I know terrible pictures right not great the light guard do not have great artists that's why I wear the dog mask because I figure they might as well just make me look like a scary dog but yeah what do you what do you what do you need well you know that big hole that we carved in your territory I do yes we need you to plug it fast because the torch mccall might be coming for that plug the what yeah there's some big things happening in the city right now and and if they get in through that hole there's gonna be like a lot of bad stuff happening for all of mccall light guard's coming for the library how does that concern me I mean light guard's hard enough to deal with now right uh-huh imagine mccall without the library the library has done nothing for me I live in a mccall without the library well I want to roll a kind of he's like he's gonna help you you're just taking the wrong tack he wants money that's the only thing he cares about he doesn't give a shit about the library the torch is bad enough already he doesn't care about that okay I'll try another tag yeah come on man you're from here right you're from the sticks yeah so so like you know how bad the light guard is up here yeah so you're just gonna roll over like a fucking dog when they come to take over your territory no if they come here we'll fight I'm just saying your war is no concern of mine should we should we just pay them or yeah we should just pay them all right how many coins do we have I'm not telling him that oh no okay one second Jake huddle I mean we have 234 okay and two wooden tokens what if we give them a hundred coins yeah a hundred coins is pretty good for this kind of a job I think what about 75 coins and we get rid of their library fees for them oh that's a good idea okay they don't have library fees okay let's go we get back into the huddle that's what Jake hears it I've never been to the library we're whispering too loud again I guess he already heard us that we he heard that we have 234 a hundred coins sounds like a good way to go okay he says so we turn back to him and Billy is our negotiator in exchange for your services to make sure that the light guard do not get in through the hole we could offer you 100 I look at them coins deal okay oh wow but when this shakes out if you make it you tell everybody you know that it went the way it went because of Jake the Jackal oh for sure yeah everybody you know what we'll write a song about you don't make me write the season end song about this dipshit nah I'll write it I drag some a little bag of a hundred coins over he starts counting it immediately all right get out of here all right no light guard in the hole right I'll do what I can nobody in the hole I'll do what I can are you able to call our carts back no what what do you mean never mind slowly wrapping mummy wraps around everyone you do have to walk out out of the Jackal territory dressed as a mummy yeah Tuck is carrying Billy like a purse with his wrappings or a backpack arms and legs swinging yeah little baby Bjorn here we go yeah so three hours basically three and a half hours after you leave you return to the library and you have the assurances of Jake the Jackal and his Jackals that they will try and keep people out of that hole okay cool which means that it will be not impossible but harder for people to get in through the secret entrance and maybe Tuck's like don't roll over for the light guard speech did something I like to think it did I like to think it cut back to him we cut back to the basement of the stray dog and he's like sharpening a knife just looking into the distance thinking nah that speech didn't do anything for me and then we go to the distance and it's a stack of a hundred gore he's just crying it's beautiful I like that you guys have finally been forced finally after all this time to just pay somebody if you can't convince him he's just like money what would convince you to help us money but what about money okay maybe not a hundred okay so yeah you return to the library is Shia back Shia's back too she's got a case of wine wood awesome wow thank you can we cut back and see her interaction with the guy that sold her this it's Randy is it Randy or is it Colonel Dan de Glat oh I was wondering if he would come over here I don't think he would have the fucking stones to cross the sea of graves not on purpose he's a fucking idiot yeah he's an idiot I was brought over in a tornado what if Randy his connection is Dan yeah that's what I was thinking yeah it's like don't worry I got a guy who will get you all covered and then he goes to some motel and Dan's sitting there with a bunch of cases of wine and Dan has a hook hand and like long Captain Hook whip oh god he's got buckles on his shoes and like short sailor pants oh god he's really pirating it up he's got that well cause he was wearing like a naval officer outfit when you saw him last with the Crystal Bay Pirates and now it's just dirty and wrecked so he just looks like he looks like the bad guy from the first Pirates of the Caribbean in the second Pirates of the Caribbean when he's all gross and scraggly Barbossa?

No oh the Colonel Norrington or Commodore Norrington Randy does mention I got a guy elf real piece of shit he hooksmeup and yeah she comes back with a crate of bottles of wine wood healing elixir enough for two doses for all of you and it tastes just as gross as it's always been ugh age has done nothing for this wine just tastes like sediment ugh little bit of grape tastes a little bit like Goldstream Park so that's the that's what we've got so far some information couple failures the jackals keeping an eye on the hole and some healing potions so anything else that people want to do?

I guess gear up when you say gear up what do you mean? I mean like put on my chainmail shirt and silver greave like get into like tuck fight mode hmm Bing gets his bandolier together with all the different elements and gets his um one chainmail glove that he got from the tomb oh yeah what's Billy gearing up with?

Tons of throwing daggers rocks definitely rocks handy slingshot oh the knife that we got from last time yeah oh yeah the point is poison dagger yes ooh poison dagger yeah so Shia comes up to Billy while everybody's preparing cause she saw you fucking around with that knife yeah and she has a little vial with her that's got this like milky white liquid in it cause I've opened the knife and then all this like stuff came out and I'm like oh no I'm trying to scoop it back in no no no no leave that out Billy leave that out oh okay you can use this ooh what is this?

This is uh some of my very own venom and if you get even a little bit of that in somebody's bloodstream you'll pair up with it and it'll paralyze them sick okay I squeeze it all in there there you go cool so yeah Billy's got three doses of a paralytic poison sure okay yeah three swipes um I'm also gonna practice my sleeping spell oh yeah cool on who?

Pharrell Pharrell's just been sitting in a chair for like an hour while Billy practices this like okay yeah do it again okay his eyelids are like fluttering and he's like he's trying to keep his eyes open yeah I wave my hand over his eyes droop no I'm still awake oh dang it okay do it again more flourish and some fairy dust comes out of my hand like little lights I'm like ooh bro you've got it okay that's fun so yeah Billy does like a little twinkly thing like little twinkly lights come out when he does his fairy dust you just have to do like a little wave and then you're like nice and I'm backing up to see how far away I can do it from yeah you get it from like a pretty good distance at one point where like I'm way across the library screaming are you asleep?

You scream are you asleep and you see him just fall sideways out of the chair that he's in yes what's Ving doing?

I want to do something with the spear I want to make it siege ready maybe change it from wood to ironwood I was thinking oh yeah oh so sick flame proof so wood to ironwood do we mean that you are making an ironwood spear or you're trying to convince your spear to change itself to ironwood I think I'm going to try and convince my spear commune with the whispers of my spear all the spirits therein oh so communion of whispers is that what you're trying to do?

Yeah right because you just want to change it to ironwood because it could also be a kind of thing where we have the potential opportunity here to like awaken the spear in some fashion yeah potentially giving you some kind of magic item like quality to it yeah I don't know what maybe it strengthens the familiar bond that I have with the spirits contained within the wood mmhmm thus making the family tree stronger yeah and more sturdy totally like further strengthening your bond with the weapon itself like I think that's a great idea yeah yeah makes sense too since there's all those runes carved onto the spear that you would have like more of a connection with it mmhmm also now that my sister and I basically share this spear it's become the family is being more I'm bringing the family back together totally yeah strengthening the family tree mmhmm mmhmm okay I'm gonna use communion of whispers to hang out with the spear yeah nice plus my wisdom is 10 perfect so what happens on a 10 plus with communion of whispers the vision will be clear and helpful to me okay yeah cool!

So what does this look like for Ving?

Like I imagine he's just sitting in a room spear across his lap mmhmm trying to commune like he has a million times before and when he got it back from Shia when she brought it back she had repaired it mmhmm like the broken sword of Kramagran so it being broken and brought together like a kintsugi mmhmm ooo yeah situation to show that our family has been mmhmm yeah broken up but now they come back together and we don't hide from those cracks mmhmm we show them and there's um veins of iron wood going through all throughout this wood cool of the spear cool cool yeah and you feel your spirit like reaching out in a way that it has so many times feeling this like loneliness as you're like I am the spirit walker it is just me and I'm connecting with these spirits that I am familiar with and comfortable with but they are not me and now you feel like you feel the spirit of Shia in the distance you connect with that you feel the spirit of you presume other members of your family you can feel these points of light across the planet in the back way up in the back back of my feeling the spirit I feel the spirit of Cloudpiercer yeah wow circling yeah you feel that your spirit is connected with other living people for the first time in a really long time and your bond with this weapon has grown as a result my bond with those people has grown stronger and with the spear and maybe he feels he can feel Billy and oh yeah absolutely and Tuck too yeah I would love to oh that can I add yes please add in this community of whispers Ving takes an iron wood because only iron wood could affect iron wood and carves in common Tuck and Billy onto the spear oh and then when he does that he feels he hears like two more rhythms added to like yeah this like spirit connection and that's like Tuck and Billy yeah and the same way we were talking about our silhouette was just this lone skinny silhouette and now it fills out into the family silhouette mm-hmm you feel the spirit connection reach out to Perel momentarily before going maybe not oh maybe just just at Christmas maybe you feel the pulsing of Perel's spirit in the distance as well no don't cheapen the connection that we have I mean obviously not as strongly Sean nothing personal Perel's not in this family Perel please uh cool so I think that there is mechanically a thing that we can we can do to give you that benefit because that's a really cool idea and I like the idea that your spear has sort of been added to over time and now this is another addition to it I think that we can either add like the forceful tag which means that when you fight people you can narrate like bashing them away I like forceful cool thank you yeah no problem great idea the triumvirate of Billy Tuck and Ving has been strengthened spiritually cool anything else that people want to prepare well I don't have a weapon really I kind of just have the waning knife they have weapons here you could ask for one but it's not going to be Terry Larry and Chad I guess that's fine I'll I'll just grab an axe from like the armory mm-hmm it's kind of lame it's like the haft is metal and then the head is like really too like cleanly moon-shaped and it's got a little spike on the top and you're like ah fuck this and he talks like this and then he talks like this and he tosses it this is stupid and he just grabs a giant hammer cool he grabs a war hammer he's just like I'm not gonna be with a different axe I just feel so wrong yeah it felt gross when he picked it up yeah so you just have a huge hammer with like a big stone head on it yeah cool but he has the waning knife so he's put the chainmail half shirt on mm-hmm and he's got this silver grieve on his forearm cool that he got at the end of season six and he's tucked the waning knife into the armory and he's tucked the waning knife into the strap of the grieve cool uh yeah is that sort of the end of preparations for people like that is more that is a day's worth of shit for sure yeah totally uh so the sun sets on your first day of preparations the first of two the first of one days before the light guard actually marches on the city no one's quite sure yet you go to sleep I suppose what are people doing like are people able to sleep comfortably uh Billy is gonna sleep under one of the lights on the city he's gonna sleep under one of the study desks mm-hmm uh but he has a very fitful sleep yeah lots of lots of old dreams mm-hmm memories coming back ooh such as wars oh yeah whoa having little war flashbacks war flashbacks whoa I wanna see a flashback from the war of winter I don't know what that is that's so cool war of winter is really cool oh um I was thinking this is like a millennia ago mm-hmm war between the elves and the druids mm-hmm awesome that's fucking cool when the druids were leaving the everwood valley and heading up north was Billy fighting on the side of the druids or the elves on the druid side what was going on the druids uh were smaller folk and they were being pushed out of the lands by the halflings and so they were migrating up north and they didn't really know what was up there so they just followed through the trees and that's where you will find some of the markings of the druids on their way up mm-hmm whoa and they thought they could take cover in the forest but they ran into I guess like the dark elves up yeah like up high north in the in the land of the midnight sun yeah in the land of the midnight sun oh and the elves didn't want anything to do with any practice like that so there was a huge war and it went for the entirety of the winter in darkness cool maybe the winter lasted longer than any winter before or after yeah so cool oh god so does that mean that the druids originated in the everwood valley before migrating to like hibernia no they came from hibernia oh okay and they came down like to the everwood valley oh and then they were pushed out of the everwood valley yeah cool but they were always like in the trees like in the woods of the higher elevations of the everwood the halflings don't like anyone yeah coming so eventually they're forced out cool cool so cool oh I really like the idea too that the the runes and the carvings in the trees that are found in and the everwood valley and up through harbor on the way to harbour are all mostly magic of protection yeah like some of them are booby traps but lots of them are a lot of protection a lot of hiding the fairies and druids from hibernia like they were able to shift between like their physical beings into like the nature that surrounded it which also the halflings did not like they didn't trust that but they wanted to live freely so they went up north and the elves didn't like them at all that's classic elf like they're 100 just about them elves yeah that's really cool and I like the idea that the elves the dark elves are called that because their forest is dense and it's hard for light to get through but they also live so far north that it's dark for a long time sometimes yeah they're basically snow elves yeah and they the elves they like really relied on nature for their like well-being and their practices and stuff and they thought that the druids were like an abomination of nature how they manipulated it seemingly rather than they didn't understand how much a part of it they were yeah yeah yeah like I was thinking that I don't think in I don't think there are cities in the great forest you know what I mean like I don't think the elves build in there it's just like we live where we live yeah we live where the forest allows I also this what you're saying makes sense that we're saying like druids haven't been known in modern times to be half elf so that speaks to me of a union there was a marriage and an initial like a treaty was struck between an elf princess and a druid prince that came together in union and then they would be able to shift shape shift from there yeah that's how the war ended yeah it was like neither side could win cool so it had to be it was set up as a war and I like a treaty a shaky treaty yeah marriage whoa so that's why like a lot of like the elves still don't really get along with that part of like druidism yeah because some of the elves were alive for that they remember that true yeah yeah that's cool that would have been right before shithane was born yeah yeah yeah so there's like maybe some people still alive or it's only like one or two generations removed yeah that's so cool okay yeah so billy's had a fitful sleep with his flashbacks it also doesn't help that the library is still alive so it's like a little bit more of a like destabilizing yeah so there is a bit of that yeah what are tuck and ving doing as billy sleeps underneath the table somewhere I was just gonna go to sleep yeah no that's fine that's yeah that's a great like billy's having fitful war flashbacks ving is communing with his spear and tuck just fell asleep yeah yeah oh communing with my spirit is a euphemism and he ving's been standing up jerking off all night oh yeah yeah oh wait I have this demon book that's got demons k to n oh so cool yeah I mean I'm not a şu Yeah, the Couturche of…

The Couturche of Nicole. The Couturche of… Oh, so fast. Oh, man. Okay, let me look up. Don't look over here, please. I'm not. Anybody. Well, I mean, the Tuck's motivation is that, like, he found that book that said demonic influences assured about the torch. And then when he gave it back to Farrah, he looked in his backpack at the stolen book, and then he was like, right.

And then he closed, he cinched it up, put it on his back and walked out, and then tried to find a hidey hole to read this book in to see if he could find… Can I just stop you for a second? Maybe something Tuck would think about is the rest of those books are also here. True. You don't just have to go, like, if you're like, man, I really hope the thing I need is in this one. They're all under lock, though. Okay, fine. No. Oh, what? Jess, no. Oh, no. Oh, sorry. No, that's fine. She's right.

They're all getting locked down. No, we do have full… Tuck's trying to do it before the lockdown happens. He's running through the library. Stop, stop. There could be a librarian just, like, standing there waiting for you to study, like… Please. Yeah, and Tuck's just like, I'm sorry, I'm a slow reader. I will say that since I said you've already done a day's worth of shit, if you do this, it means Tuck's gonna be underslept tomorrow. That's fine. Yeah.

So he's, like, he remembers the thing from the notebook that he gave back to Farrah about, the… Demonic influence all but assured. All but assured. So he's trying to find the demon that is influencing the Torch of McCall in his encyclopedias. Yeah, he's reading, going through all these books, being like, does any of this make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, 2d6 plus intelligence. Fuck. That dice is cursed. This one? The white one. I'm gonna do it anyway. Okay, well, then it's blessed.

Break the curse. 2d6 plus intelligence. Oh! Broken curse! Yes! That was good! That felt good because we said it was cursed. Ooh, baby. Okay. Ooh, baby. Yeah. Ba-ba-ba-baby. You got a 10. Ooh, baby. Baby. So, let's talk about some things that Tuck thinks could be happening, and then I will tell you one that I think could be happening. Okay. So he's looking through all these kinds of demons. He's wearing his nerd, glasses. Yeah. He doesn't care anymore. This is too important. Yeah.

So he's got his little bifocals on the end of his nose. They're bifocal? Yeah. He's near and far-sighted. Oh, no! And they've got, like, a chain that is, like, a beaded chain hanging down the back. Totally. He's been borderline blind this entire time. That's why sometimes when he goes to hit somebody and it's a really easy roll, he'll totally fail. He just goes right in front of their face because he has no depth perception. Wait a second. I should have hit you. Ooh, you are quick. Okay.

So what are some icons? Because we know that that's what demons are. Mm-hmm. Are icons possessing people. What are some icons that Tuck thinks they could be? Like, the torch might be passion, law. Fuck, help me out, guys. Power. Mm-hmm. Force. Monarchy. Force. Like, destruction. Like, destruction. Like, war. Withering. Like, when fire burns. Mm-hmm. Consumption. Consumption. Maybe even just fire. All the fires in the natural world. Right. Yeah. It's all human concepts. Yeah. Yeah.

So, passion, destruction, power. Fear. Fear. That's a little strange. Stretch. And you spend hours going through these books. It's like four in the morning. You're blinking sleep out of your eyes and you get to the end of the volumes and one word sticks in your head. The. The. The first. The first. Word in the book. And that is, that is what you get from your result on a spellboard. What? No. You're fine. You just had to jump on what I was saying. So, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

And we're done for this week. Thanks, everybody. See you in eight months. Oh, no. Tuck's dead. Tuck died. Oh, shit. One word sticks in your head. Zealotry. What does that mean? Zealotry. Fanatical and uncompromising pursuit of religious, political, or other ideals. Fanaticism. So, he flips to the end. The end of the last volume. Yeah. To find the demon of, the icon of zealotry. Yeah. Is there, so can I glean useful information out of this section? Because it was a 10 plus on a spellboard.

It's true. Yeah. I would say that you think about, because what your theories have been that like the god of the flame is a demon and maybe the Torch of McCall is a warlock. Yeah. Connected to him. You think about all of the things that you've heard about the history of the Torch of McCall and the history of the light guard under the Torch of McCall. And the environment that he has stoked in the city through the light guard and through his unit.

And you think, if he's not a warlock, then the Torch of McCall might be a demon of zealotry. And through his connection to the idea of fanatical religiosity might have connected himself to the god of the flame and so on. Stoked zealotry through his work. So the city of McCall has become more fanatically religious over the last 60, 70 years. So what we thought it was the god of the flame working through the Torch taking over the city, it's the other way around.

It's the Torch's zealotry feeding off of the godhood of the god of the flame. Like a parasite. Yeah. So maybe the god of flame can be called upon in some way. Ooh. Oh. Or has the demon of zealotry affected the god of the flame in such a way that he has become this zealous icon? Like, has the power of zealotry affected the god of the flame as well? It's corrupt. It's potentially corrupt. And that makes sense because the demon of zealotry has been gathering all the other demons.

Because he knows that as a demon, his only weakness is other demons. Yeah. And in being this demon of zealotry and having to connect himself to a god, that demon has made its vessel the perfect tool for that religion. Yeah. So he is this, like, right hand of the god of the flame through his connection to his zealousness. Yeah. Just like a sweet old man would be a good vessel for truth. Yeah.

And that would explain, to Tuck at least, where this power of fire comes from because it would make sense for the servant of the god of the flame to have this power. Mm-hmm. So you don't think the power would be connected to the fact that he could be a demon. Mm-hmm. It's connected to the fact that he is a demon of zealotry for the god of the flame. And in his mind, when Tuck reads all of that, he's like, I'm gonna fucking kill this guy. And that's where we're gonna end it for this week.

I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdulaziz. So long. Playing Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. And playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Goodbye. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. Incredible, as always.

And thank you to all of our amazing supporters, you folks around the world, supporting us online at Spout Lore in most places, including patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore dot com. Spout Lore dot com. We have a new website? Spout Lore dot com. I had to pay. It's cheaper, but it's more confusing. Slash money, please. Catch you next time.

And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost, they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I gladly Spout Lore I'm gonna just take one more read on that last line. Sure. Feels like too wordy. I'm gonna kill him. I will kill him. I will kill him. That's just Tuck in the room.

I will kill him. Yeah, he's starting to say it a lot now. He's like, I will kill him. I will kill him. And then he's like, Wham. I will kill you. And then he's starting to do his like last confrontation. End of the road, Torch. It's time to put this fire out. This sound's not big enough for both of us. Clink. Clink. He's making the clink sound with his mouth. Yeah.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome!

To Spout Lore! I'm your Game Master Sean O'Hara And joining me as always playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers Hey everybody! Playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz Hi everybody! And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hello!

When last we left our heroes Let's all go through it together It's been a while It's been a few months We were in the later period of preparations for the Lightguard's siege upon the Margani Library Mmhmm And with that preparation involved Uh, Shia went back to the Siddel Estate to get our shit And to also get us winewood healing potion So now you have some healing wine Some research was done in which Ving did some looking into his family history We learned that the island of Hibernia was the origin place of magical tradition And we learned that Ving's mother's name, Ileana Yep Is in fact a family name So Ving's family name, I guess on that side, is Ileana Yep Yeah Shia fixed up Ving's unbreakable spear Yeah with the ironwood Yeah, so now it is truly unbreakable Ving used the spear, you did a commune Oh yeah, I communed with the whispers of the spear and to connect to my family Also I carved Tuck and Billy into the spear Aww Right, yes And now the family's whole Hmm, so sweet Some suiting up occurred So you saw the limited edition wartime action figure of each character as you suited up for the siege Let's describe it real quick Ving had a bandolier of all different elements for using in the field And a silver gauntlet that he got in the tomb And the necklace of a cloud piercer Right His necklace And he put it on like a big fat chain It's like a big chain, like big giant links, iron links Big gold chain Yeah And it's like a little chain that you put into your chest hair And it has, no it has chest hair on it as part of the chain Oh cool Oh yeah It has a curtain of chest hair that is behind it No Not everyone has chest hair I know So you look like Italian Flava Flav Yeah Flava Flav Cut that, cut that I'm sorry to the Italian listeners Mi marinara s'imbresciuto You sound like Geoffrey Rush in Pirates of the Caribbean You best start believing in marinara on this turn Cause you're in one You're in a Subway sandwich shop The most Italian of all shops My favorite Italian sandwich shop is Subway sandwich shop Cause of the Italian herb and cheese That's the only reason you said that Jessica laughed into the mic She laughs quietly My favorite video they used to show I hate my laugh I just don't wanna hear it anymore My favorite video they used to show was the one that was like, I hate my laugh, I just don't wanna hear it anymore I hate my laugh, I just don't wanna hear it anymore My favorite video they used to show us in social studies Was when the first Subway sandwich shop opened in Italy after World War II Are you kidding me?

And it was just like they were all holding hands outside of it Welcoming and maritaly Like we are the world in it? Yeah Oh my god This is like not real right?

Yes of course it's not real Oh my god I didn't think that it wasn't I didn't consider that it wasn't real It was after Benito Mussolini was executed The new leader of Italy came out with a marinara sub held over his head And everybody cheered I have to know I believe a lot of stuff I know, I know you do Yeah That's why it's fun to tell you things that didn't happen They actually learned the imperial system from the sandwich Cause oh this is a foot Ah Si Si a foot One half a sandwich is less than a foot Ah Jesus Christ lost my train of thought A foot is two six inch party subs Yeah Obviously We all know this You can't call it a party sub right?

A party sub can't be six inches I don't know why I keep calling them party subs It's half of a regular sub It's half of a regular sub I just like how they're delivered like in sections you know Are they? Yeah On a bus?

Cause you can't have like six feet of sandwich Well that's why all of them are delivered in hearses It basically The party sub hearse The sandwich hearse Like the Oscar Mayer Wiener car Yes But it's a sub It's a sub And it's accurate Most of the inside is a sandwich It's a sub Yeah The horn plays like Cougaraja What you do is there's a lever inside that the driver pulls and it tilts the inside back a little bit And then you just lay the sub on the ground Drive forward Bloop Yeah They come in like It comes in like a suitcase basically Oh my gosh Like a bunch of suitcases That's so funny Yeah And they have to reconstruct it there Yeah That's fucking hilarious and stupid Yeah No it's great It's the best Okay So that's what Ving was wearing Was this Was this a cinch party sub?

Glory Foot Drive Glory Foot Driving Party Sub Glory Foot World War II Commemorative Party Sub That was driven to the library in a van What did Tuck look like? He had like re-outfitted himself with everything he got from Lillian's tomb So like he had that greave, the silver greave on his arm That like I think it repels magic? It's got ward stone in it?

Oh yes He's also got the chainmail shirt on Chainmail crop top He's got the waning knife tucked in to his greave And he grabbed a war hammer He grabbed a war hammer as well Can you describe the war hammer just a little bit?

The haft is made of ironwood and then The haft is like four feet long And then the head of it is like It's like two feet wide It's like two feet long Like half a party sub Yeah it's like a half a party sub Wide and deep Nice Yeah and it's like kind of like a square shape Yeah like two party subs next to each other Yeah Yeah Cool What's Billy's wartime outfit? I don't remember I have the cool knife Did I fill it with that poison that Shia gave me?

Oh yeah Shia's like paralytic venom And you also took throwing daggers Yeah some throwing daggers Cool deadly to Billy's back Yeah Do I have a cool outfit?

You did not you just wore the thing that you wore You can describe Billy making himself a cool outfit He did not make a cool outfit He thought of it too late he saw a tuck in thing and he's like fuck Outfits I didn't know we were doing outfits I didn't know we were allowed to dress up He's just when we walk up to him he's just sulking for some reason Yeah he saw us coming and started sulking The last thing of significance that we learned was Tuck was racing around the Margani library As they locked down the stacks for the coming siege And read a bunch of books on demonology and discovered in his research that he is almost certain beyond the shadow of a doubt That the tortured McCall is a demon of zealotry Yeah so he's kind of feeding off of the religion of the flame like a parasite Yeah like he this icon has connected itself to the belief system of the church of the flame And made itself and its vessel the like perfect servant of that religion Does that also make like the people who follow the religion more fanatical as well?

I think so I think the power of that icon allows him to like whip up fanaticism in people Man this is gonna be a really hard battle Yeah you're basically going up against a bunch of people that are fighting to the death probably And that is where we find our heroes now on the morning of the first of two potential days of the beginning of the siege of the Margani library Tuck is still awake He has not slept I slept maybe a little bit like after I figured out the zealotry thing I think I maybe went to sleep for a couple hours Uh huh I'm still pretty tight Yeah it's more like you sleep in 30 second bursts every couple minutes Yeah Uh Billy does Billy wakes up under a table Oh yeah Yeah how's he feeling?

Pretty good Is he rattled at all from this war dream that he had?

No but he should probably tell them Right yeah So that okay that's where we that's where the camera is focused on is Billy like rumbling to life underneath this table There's legs rushing all over the place People talking to each other Checking weapons making sure that the the stacks are locked down You see people going through martial arts forms in the hallway There's an air of tense stillness where everybody's anticipating something that if it hasn't happened now maybe it'll never happen You know that feeling where you're like it could happen at any time or never Uh huh Um and that's where Billy is right now so Billy goes off to find Billy's going off to find Tuck and Ving Uh huh Okay Uh so where is Ving Tuck and Ving have found each other where?

I think we would be like in the cafeteria Cafeteria Yeah Nice Eating a six inch party so Yeah A six inch breakfast burrito It's a Party burrito Yeah Breakfast party burrito Yeah yeah How and how's Ving feeling after his uh it's probably pretty relaxing communing with your spear all night right like that's a Yeah and and yeah finding connection with everybody he's just so stoked and you know terrified I think maybe a little bit more than that Yeah I think maybe a little bit more scared because a slight feeling of more to lose now Yeah More connected to everyone I guess that's true and Shia's found you guys too she's drinking uh some sort of hot tea eyes like half closed leaning against uh slippers three A real chill kind of vibe More like if I don't lean against this huge wolf I'm gonna fall over What did she stay up partying all night?

She's just been stressed like you get the idea that she she's a thief she's not a warrior So the idea that there's a battle coming is really stressing her out Oh Like this is not her element her if she had her druthers no one would ever see her she would never be perceived Uh huh Uh so she's just bags under her eyes maybe the most stressed out you've ever seen her but trying to stay calm I go up and give her a piece of my burrito Oh This'll help Thank you So this is like you're this you're like used to this?

No This is kind of new for us Yeah Oh okay well that's you know that's kind of reassuring actually this is a day of firsts for both of us all three the three of us I mean if the fact that none of us know what we're doing comforts you Well you know what I shouldn't have pointed that out It did I'm sorry I shouldn't have pointed you look stressed enough It did up until yeah like two seconds ago when you said that for the first time that nobody knows what we're doing but Just think you gotta just reframe it in your head just think about it like we're all about to steal lives Lives from a bunch of enemies who are trying to steal our lives with swords and the power of God Fire Yeah She nods a little bit you know that actually does help Yeah Does help it's like pickpocketing but instead of going into their pouch you're going into their neck with a knife And taking out Your knife Yeah And also their blood and heart And also their blood and hopes and dreams and the futures that they might have had Doesn't help anymore Wow I'm not gonna talk to any of you anymore I'm gonna prepare on my own so please shut up and she closes her eyes And Billy you find them all sitting at a long table eating six inch party breakfast burritos Guys I looked everywhere for you Billy you look so tired I am I ran like oh hundred feet or something like that Why did you run you know it's bad for your constitution I know I know so far Here have some of my six inch party burrito Thank you Thank you Okay I had to run cause like it was a dream and like if I don't tell you really fast I'm gonna forget it all I dreamt about the time I fought the winter wars and like it was against it was the druids and the elves Halflings were there I think the elves were like they looked like evil almost or something or maybe it was just my dream But they were like on horses and on like elks and stuff like that and then some of the druids they like changed into animals and stuff And then they started doing these things where it was like they all chant the same thing and this like wall I don't even know if you could really see it but you could see like the snow blowing off of it and there was trees And there was like little thingies hanging off of it and like I was like oh my god I'm gonna die And there was like little thingies hanging off of them like little bottles of milk It was so cold it was snowing so much you guys so much swords There was fire too That sounds really scary do you think it's a dream or do you think it's a memory Bill No I remember it The winter war is what it was called Yeah it was a long time ago like a really long time ago Shia, Vang did you guys have you guys heard of a winter war Mmhmm There's a Spout Lore about it Yeah is this a Spout Lore Oh yeah yeah oh yeah definitely if we wanna glean some useful information we could do it as a Spout Lore Okay So who's role in it 2d6 plus intelligence I mean it's it has a druid and a half elf Mmhmm Um if it's a historical thing I can use my wisdom Yeah and it makes sense cause it could be something that Vang learned about when he was like a young prince Yeah Yeah Oh yeah Yeah oh there was a like you know you have capture the flag there was a game called the winter war Yeah And it was like a kids game and you'd be like okay this time you're the elves and we're the druids And the druids don't wear shirts Yeah Yeah It's fucking winter every day out here Yeah and there's one creepo kid that we're like I don't wear pants cause that's my choice I'm the dank elf Okay uh Spout Lore Yeah 2d6 plus intelligence Damn nice Wisdom Yeah wisdom Wisdom Plus wisdom That's nine Alright Holy shit aid aid How?

With your memory dream Cause you're helping Oh right Uh so yeah 2d6 plus bond to aid Oh And we all have one bond right? Yeah Yeah Ayyyy Eight Nice There you go so that's a ten Great Something interesting and useful so what's like a a That fucking wall thing is interesting Yeah something that Vang could try Mmhmm Later some sort of Oh that's true Calling on the earth Yeah Yeah Is there warlocks maybe in this war? Maybe Maybe Could be Could there be like a thing about how to defend against them?

Mmhmm Or like nullify their power or something?

Mmhmm Cause we're gonna constantly be contending with the fact that like the torch of macal is magically aiding That's a good point yeah Like maybe that wall is like blocking that flow of like magic Yeah Yeah Neutrall- like it basically like neutralizes whatever the effect Yeah Or like magic or like demons Oh Or spirit or whatever Yeah They just bring the even ground Yeah Yeah it's like a cleansing force Yeah Yeah Maybe it's something that we we we now know instead of being like here's your your silver bullet it's a thing that we can play on later Mmhmm Like if we can't nail something down right now it's something that we can keep in mind Just the idea that he's fueling his like force with like this like Yeah Fanaticism Out of an like I need the same thing we were saying before I don't know if it was on mic but about How the druids were about being and like this is a thing Right And then the wizards were about use and same as this he's the the demon of zealotry is trying to gain all this use and spread Mmhmm So there's a lot of like point to it Yeah But that Yeah it's for power Yeah the druid that thing is like you said I really like that it's more of a nullifying Yeah This is like a chill like this is like no bee it's a bee wall Yeah It's just like what is wall Yeah Yeah Stopping all this this this It's a wall of bees And And Thing has learned the spell wall of bees I'm I'm fucking writing that down you jerk ass I'm a bee I'm a bee I'm a I'm a I'm a bee A fourth level conjuration spell Yeah Uh okay that's awesome I okay we landed on something really cool Do we have two more questions No it's Spout Lore not discern realities nice try Fine Yeah No that's great Sweet so Billy's like That's what are you upset about I don't know No that's just Billy that's all Billy yeah Anyway um it probably wasn't very important anyway but this party sub um can I have some more Yeah Bing gives you his whole meal because he's lost in thought he's like Okay Thank you I also like the fact that we're the only people eating like everyone's like The cafeteria was closed we went we got the chef and we're like we're hungry so can you start making food Just anything party themed please I'm starving And it's that big guy with the little chef's hat and he goes run away Saul He's really excited that you guys want food cause he's like I got nothing to do here Yeah exactly Everyone else is too nervous When they said we have to prepare he just like prepped a lot of vegetables Ain't do we sausage you ever had a good gumbo his name's Louise He's a cool guy Great yeah so you're all sitting in an empty cafeteria just chatting chilling and Farah comes to find you in the cafeteria and she looks concerned She approaches your table and says Do you want some of these party burritos Louise has been going nuts in the kitchen I couldn't possibly I had five feet myself this morning Five feet She ate five feet of burrito I'm a nervous eater Also I burn a lot more calories than you would expect for a woman my age And Tuck is just like I'll bet you do And then he's like I'm gonna go eat some burritos He realizes what he said he leans into Bing and he's like I don't know why I said that Well you said it out loud pal she also heard that When you say that even Shia opens her eyes and is like ew This is an unprecedented situation I think we'll all agree that it's okay to be kind of weird the day before a battle right Shia And Farah says Slippers agree with me somebody nods Slippers nod And Farah says He grabs Slippers head and nods I'm sweating so much And Farah says I agree with everything that you say with the exception of the day before part the light guard are here What do you mean I dropped my party sub I hand you another one They have arrived in the town their force is above What But they have not attacked They wish to speak Cowards Huh with you Oh shit Tell them we're busy we're having lunch Which one of us specifically and I push Billy forward Tuck is very scared He just pushes puts his hand on Billy's back while he's sitting on the table and just squeaks him across the table top Which one And Billy's like I will do it I have to Salute very shakily I will do it Put on your mayor voice Billy Yeah I can't I'm too scared Oh no I pick Billy back Oh my god Um Uh They simply said that they wish to speak We do not know their terms but If you are willing We have forces out of sight on our side of the city and we are not going to let them get away with it We have forces out of sight on our side of the city and we are not going to let them get away with it We have forces out of sight above ground that will be watching How many of them are there She actually knows like almost specifically and I kind of wrote it down And it's I don't think you guys are going to love it Oh no Um That number divide by two Six units of swordsmen Six units of archers Sappers Siege engines A mounted cavalry Their special forces the immolators and the torch himself I don't know what any of that means Holy shit Tuck goes to the bathroom Why are he sitting Yeah He leaves to go to the bathroom Oh I thought you meant Tuck pisses his shit Does the bathroom things He can feel it coming and he's like Excuse me And you see him walk to the bathroom or the cafeteria Clenching his buns Yeah And then he sits down You're a pretty fat shit And then you also hear a You were on such a roll And then you're like no I need to specify that he takes a fat shit That's amazing And then everybody's listening to it happen I'm gonna make like small talk with Farrah So um Like help me out with the counting cause I'm not very good at math So like six plus six is twelve people No no no no no What Six units How many's in it Of how many Thirty What What Why Why Because of light guard battles in the past Suggest that they utilize overwhelming force In almost all cases Of what A number Well if you're asking Shawn O'Hare to do quick math Yes Oh fuck Okay A hundred and eighty swordsman A hundred and eighty archers A hundred and eighty archers Sappers So units of probably four but they're like What's a sapper They set explosives Oh fuck Ballista is what I wrote down The siege engines they usually use are ballista filled with explosive oil and catapults that fire fire barrels.

Mounted cavalry. Mounted on what? This is a question I had. Because horses in the desert doesn't always make sense. Could be camels. Could be something cool that we are making up. We could just not have centaurs. No, they're there. Sandworms. Sandworms are docile and enormous. Maybe there's like a war, like ones that were specifically bred. They breed them to be small. Yeah, gross. Worms. Worm riders. Yeah, worm riders. Dune style, like they have the hooks under the plates. Maybe worms.

Billy is zoned out and he's like thinking about better days. Billy, I would like to remind you that you specifically asked me for these details and now you are treating me like an asshole. I'm not. I just wish you weren't being one. He does shoot the messenger. Tuck comes back and he was like he spent the time in the bathroom thinking about something he could say. He's like six units of swordsman hair. Well, I got three units in my pants for them.

That was too long of a shit for such a shitty joke. You're sitting on that one for a long time as well as the toilet. So will you if you are not, if you don't feel comfortable addressing them directly, we can send someone else or we can. Can we sit somebody like impersonators of us? Just look like us to make them think that it's us. I don't think that I could find anyone within a thousand miles that looks like the three of you. Thank you. That's really nice.

Yeah, we're really complimented by that. Shit. Okay, we will talk to them. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? Let's go talk to these assholes. Yeah, let's go. Tuck is genuinely very scary. Sean, are we gonna like we're not gonna die. That would be lame for the podcast. Is that Billy asking for let the dice talk baby Jessica. We're not gonna do okay. Also Billy. I after we've got after Vegas like let's go up and talk to these assholes. I'm like so we're like walking. I'm like we're not gonna die.

Are we we're not gonna die. You're immortal thing is half immortal. I'm gonna bulk phase can't die. So they send you up like you're like, let's do it. Let's talk to him. Yeah, let's do it. Also. We can't let someone else go up and face that dickhead. Plus we gotta see if Adam has the axe. Yeah, I need that fucking axe back. All I have is this stupid thing and he smashes a table next to actually works pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty cool to be a table.

It's just like a fucking microwave on a stick. Of course it works. Just wait so you go up through not the like truck like sand boat entrance. They send you up through a different way. And you come out like in a textile shop like there's bolts of fabric hanging all over the walls. It's dark. The sun hasn't quite risen all the way yet. Oh, check it out. Marina. Oh, wow. Oh, that's soft. Wow. And once you come above ground, you hear like, you know, the quiet coolness of the pre dawn.

But then you also hear like a lot of clanking and a really huge group of like murmured voices. Before we come out of the shop, can we like scout it a bit? Yeah. Oh, yeah. The windows. You can sneak up if you want through the fabrics. Yeah. Like our heads on top of each other. Don't don't can album been in the chip. Yeah. Some fine gauze. We're looking through. You know what? You don't have to sneak because they've asked to speak. Yeah. So you can.

Yeah, you can peek through and you see hundreds of armed light guard. Farah mentioned a ballista and catapults. You don't see them. You assume they're at the outskirts and you don't see the worm riders either, but you do see probably circling the town. Yeah. Hauling ass. Yeah. Feeding their worms a bunch of sand. Jesus. Oh, they're sandworms because they eat sand. I don't. I guess I'm a chips man.

I think I said they're filter feeders like they swallow a bunch of sand and then filter out the nutrients that poop out sand and they poop out glass. Yeah, they poop out that like fluorescent sand. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, there are hundreds of armed light guard all with like the curving swords that you saw earlier. Some with shields. It's fair. I'm out there.

You see a big person with a cloak on and a hood who knows who it could be, but they're this is the first time you're seeing the actual immolators themselves and it's a bunch of scary fucking people. Whereas the rank and file members of the light guard are like generally wearing the same kind of armor carrying the same kind of weapons.

These are very specialized in individual fighters like you see one with a huge spear one with two swords one that is carrying what looks like a really long handled staff with a metal ball on top like all that kind of weird shit. One just looks like it has a chain with a weight on the end of it and a huge cloaked figure. What was the immolators thing? Did they have like any kind of magical power? Like no, they're just like special forces. Basically, they're the most badass of the badass.

They're decked out with gadgets, fire gadgets. Yeah, there's probably one that has like little fucking like hand bombs or whatever, all that kind of shit like a flamethrower. Ooh, cool. I don't know why I'm adding to their arsenal. It's fucking shit. So guys just like shut up. Yeah, wait, this army is so cool. Like there's like a gun, just a big gun that shoots us and we die and at the front of this huge group of people you see looking very like plucky having a nice morning.

The torch of McCall just drinking a tea. Yeah, he's got like a little cup of steaming tea. His long white robe, his gray beard and hair just enjoying the predawn sun. What do you do? Look around. Are you guys just not going to come out? Wait, wait, wait. No, we're thinking I'm thinking I'm thinking of what I might do. Yeah, I thought we were gonna like roll the the looky Lou. Oh, discern realities. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's great. Oh, I thought that's what we're doing.

Well, nobody's said that, but then this is also a good opportunity to describe the actual area. Totally. Yeah. May I discern reality indeed to the six plus wisdom eight. Oh, sorry. One question. One question. What here is useful or valuable to us? Well, I'll describe sort of what I'm imagining the scene to be and then you guys can tell me what you think is what here is useful or valuable.

So I think that the shop that you're in is basically right on the edge of the square, but still kind of a side street. Like just the very end of a side street. And then it opens up onto what is considered the town square of Elaine Springs, which is right on the edge of the actual oasis pool spring itself. So there's this big open area that they're all standing in and the pool hems in one side and the rest is surrounded by buildings. So there's water here. Yes. It's a square on a beach.

Yeah, pretty much square beach building. Yeah. What is the thing that is useful? I'm asking you, what do you think the useful thing is? Um, well, we have like the librarians will have access to a ton of water like from the beach from that river that runs underneath. Is this pool that is in the middle? Is it any way attached to that river? Yeah, I think Jessica's idea is that there's like a river that runs underneath that the spring is fed from. Well, that we came in on, right? Yeah.

So it's an exit for us. If it goes really bad, we can dive down into the That's a cool idea. Yeah, we can flush ourselves out of here. Yeah, we could if it goes really wrong. If things go to shit, it's a way out. Also, if one of you were able to call on the elements, you'd have a massive source of water nearby. Oh, right. That's what I said when we first got here. So there's a bunch of water here.

So the oasis is the oasis is the thing that's useful is you've got this thing that is also probably an exit. Ving could just fucking whip an oasis at them. Yeah, so that's sort of what you know. We're in a fabric shop. Yeah, I want to look for a specific bolt of fabric that fire moth bolts. Is there any way that I can roll for that to see if there's some so cool butter moth, not fire moth. Thank you. Do I have to roll? I have to roll. That would be to like, yeah, look what I found.

I know what it's a fabric store from everywhere in the world. Discern realities. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Discern realities are taking on seven. Oh, okay. So is there butter moth here? What here is useful or valuable to me? How much butter moth? Like that? I'd say like a bolt, like a good amount. Few yards. Yep. So you can use those yards sparingly or you can give it to talk. Oh, Billy has a butter moth cloak. Oh, I do. Yeah, butter moth cape that he got from years ago. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, right. Okay. I just wear it all the time. Yeah, because it's like flowing fabric and that's what cash told you to wear. Yeah. Yeah. Billy has a fireproof cape. I forgot about that. So there's enough. We're fine. It was like touching this. He's like, okay. Like my cloak. Oh, yeah. That's how you find it. That's great. You're like, oh my God, this is butter moth silk. Great. So tuck is enormous and you're really tall.

So it's either enough to protect you fully protect tuck fully or half protect both of you. A hundred percent I make tuck whatever dress he wants. Oh, can I get like one of those belted sundresses? Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. Strapless or yeah. It's basically like a fucking like wrap around the waist. You don't have time to actually make clothing like a toga thing. Yeah. Is it a toga?

Well, it's like, yeah, you pretty much are just able to like wrap it around your waist over the shoulder or something like that because this isn't like pretty woman like you don't have a montage to get ready like there is an army outside. I mean, I was picturing a cloak like to have a clasp here and a bit of a hood a rough hood. It's kind of cloaky. Yeah, and then that's nice because then I can be dressed the same as fat. Oh, yeah. That's what I was going to think. Okay.

I believe he's wearing the same thing as me. Okay, and that's honestly it's a it's a fucking Cinderella scene where these guys are making the cloak look like Billy's like now he's got more ruffles at the bottom peeking out and with us by Knox. Yeah. And Billy you look at a couple times and there's a point where you realize the torch is finished his tea and is standing around and then you look again. He's got another tea like man. We're sure taking a lot of time. Oh, no.

The torch is not looking like he's enjoying this second tea like maybe he's been waiting a while. How do I look? How do I look? Do I look like that? Do I look fucking cool? Yeah, you think just like Fatim sick and put the hood up that you Fatim and then I go, yeah, I'm fucking stupid. I'm fat. Nailed it. I'm so small. I say that I'm in a cut fez, but I'm actually just little one time. I ate a sandwich in there's a piece of shit in it because that's what tuck put in there.

I tried to pretend that I didn't mind it, but then I didn't realize until later that would suggest I'd like the taste of shit. One time I insulted talk and I said I pieces of shit like you for breakfast and then he was like you piece of shit for breakfast. He's like, I know I made you evil be so funny if the torch is like I know you guys are there sneaking in like this tiny shack is like really farting and like laughing that laugh laugh after after like so sketches.

Yes, it's so funny after like 10 minutes of you guys in the shack making a cloak and doing bits. You hear a voice call out. Can we please end this charade and then the door bursts open and tuck whips the cloak out and he's like the charade has just begun and Bing says enter stage right that really got me just just oh man and yeah, so you just tried out in your cape. Yeah, and the three of you totally and the torch hands is teacup to somebody that runs off back into the crowd sweet.

That's one less guy. He's going to be dealing with the cup. It's going to take him at least five minutes to wash that thing. We should strike now our odds are going to get better than this whispering to each other. I'm walking right behind talk to a fucking just start swinging, but I don't think I should get close enough to the torch of the colonies like thank you for come way and the face. I hammer microwave you. Yeah, you approach the torch and McCall. How do you get closer?

Do you kind of know? Yeah, I think it's like a pool's distance away. Where is the pool relative to us? Is it on your left hand side? So do we have to go past the lake or to get to it? Are they in the way? No, you'd at least have to get next to them. Okay, and the torch says thank you for coming. Thank you for speaking. Hopefully we can finish this without us. Unnecessary bloodshed stuff. Your thank yous in a sack. He takes a deep breath in through his nose, a steadying breath.

I had forgotten how trying you could be. Thank you. We do try our best. I have called you to speak because you have taken things that belong to me. Oh yeah, and what were those things? Those things, you know quite well. Tell me say it demons. The danger they present is unfathomable to you to the world and you have removed them from the only place capable of containing them and for that you must face judgment as well containing them or using them.

I don't know what foolish thoughts have entered your heads. I don't think you know what has entered yours. Oh right. We're hinting at what's inside of him. Yeah, let's try to like like air him out in front of his army. Yeah, this is part of it. Because they're not all like super indoctrinated. Yeah. So we're talking loud. Yeah, and he says what I know is that all I do is in service to the God of the flame and to McCall. And you threaten that balance that security.

Yeah, we threaten that security. We threaten that zealotry, don't we? If you have no faith, that is none of my concern, but I will not allow you to threaten the faith of hundreds of thousands of souls. Return what you have taken, face judgment, and we will allow the library to stand. What do you mean to do with them? Contain them. Keep the people. Keep the people of this city safe from their influence. From Mercy? Have you not seen a demon in action? I think we're seeing one right now.

If this is something that you want to like have an effect, I would love you to roll like a defy danger charisma. Sure. Yeah, do it. But what is the effect? Is it to destabilize him or to let everyone know? Let everyone know. Okay. Yeah, to like sew a little bit of discord. See discords. Yeah. Charisma. You're the mayor of Charisma Town, Billy. See. Nervant. Talent. Nine. Eight. And I will aid him. Yeah. And it's pretty clear how you're aiding him. Yeah. You're all talking at the same time. Yeah.

You're all talking over each other. Yeah. And it's very annoying to the torch. Nice. Eight, nine. Okay, ten. Woohoo. So the effect is that you… Yeah. Okay. So as you're talking and you're goading the torch being like, hey, you're a demon, like subtly. The more you talk and you see… Some side eyes, a little bit of like creaking as people in the units of sword fighters and archers start looking at each other and whispering a little bit. What is he talking about?

And the torch raises his hand and they go quiet. Yes, you in the stupid dress. You have a question, fuck face. And he… When you say that, you can see his face clouds for a second and he's furious. Yeah. When Tuck sees his face cloud over, he's like, there you are. That's the real you. And he drops his hand and he says, I gave you the opportunity to do the honorable thing and surrender. If you refuse, we can move forward as planned. Because I mean, what is your goal right now?

You're basically… I have a feeling you guys are gonna say no, fuck off. Yeah. Yeah. But I really want to turn like a bunch of his army against him. Yeah. I think we're in a good place. Yeah. I think we're in a good place. Yeah. I think we're in a good place. Yeah. I think we're in a good place. Yeah. Yeah. But I really want to turn like a bunch of his army against him. Yeah. I think we're addressing the jury now. Yeah. Yeah. His army. Yeah. Men and women of the army.

Good people of McCall, we have something to tell you about your fearless leader. Does anyone here remember the Torch of McCall joining the Lightguard? Does anyone remember him aging? I'm sure… I'm sure your fathers and your mothers and your grandfathers and grandmothers before you fought for him, didn't they? Do you ever think of that? How far back do the tales of his might go? How many battles, how many hundreds of years of bloodshed are attributed to this one man?

Do you really think that's a human? Ving's giving air quotes when he says man. The Torch of McCall is a demon. There's silence for a good stretch and then the Torch just laughs. Foolery, lies, deceptions. What an outlandish story. And you see behind him people looking at each other. The murmuring is getting a little… Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Parlay what's it called what's it not a parlay is the parlay was like okay we'll go with you if you we'll go with you well you can have the demons back everything if you eat this saffron oh fucking good move yeah that's all you have to do is prove you're not a demon oh you're not a demon lies laughs good we're stupid fucking morons we don't know what we're talking about eat this and prove it to your people it is still a role that you have to make yeah yeah yeah yeah 2d6 plus charisma oh uh it's you bud you did it yeah well good thing oh and you know what plus one because of your saffron pouch we already said oh yes dealing with uh demonic influence so I just picked up some charisma so mark it mark use of that six wow six could use an aid um yeah let's aid um what do I do maybe just like yeah and I bet you won't you fucking bitch just the most annoying little kid yeah nine there you go tip it over to a seven save the failure beautiful thanks bill no problem this wouldn't work if he didn't if those seed hasn't been planted in totally because now he's like I have to do something yeah because I can already tell that my influence is waning on some of them yeah so yeah thing you walk forward with the saffron toward the torch who's smiling trying to smile idly like haha what an amusement but you can see this like concern in his eyes rage too yeah the fire behind his eyes yeah the absolute fury at being questioned like this I am giving him the coldest eye stare like walking dead eye towards him and tuck he clued in a second too late when ving started walking forward so he like is getting ready just in case something goes wrong yeah he was like this we're putting ourselves at risk yeah thing you walk forward and just before he lets you place the saffron in his hand he grabs you by the wrist and he gets really close to your face and says loud enough for everybody here I don't take orders from you heretic and your body is engulfed in flames tuck runs tuck runs can I defend uh yeah I guess you're trying to defend 2d6 plus constitution god we never use defend I don't even remember what it is fucking six four five wait constitution's three is it I look at the fucking six seven is it constitution eight eight okay so you get one hold from defend okay yeah so tuck you just saw your best friend and husband turned into turned into a pillar of flame I yeah so I run forward to try and distract the torch away to give ving a chance to use like one of his moves so I want to use open up an attacker to an ally giving that ally plus one forward against to let ving do something if he's not dead in there yeah yeah this works so would it work with a last breath roll if he had a last breath roll it could yeah okay okay so you so what tuck just runs forward pulls his hammer out and makes a wild swing yeah just jumps at the torch okay great it's that iron man sun is behind him oh yeah turn up yeah the sun rises behind tuck comes over the horizon just as he makes the jump eagle flies by and that's the sound that beautiful morning everybody that surprised me and tuck makes the jumps through the air and uh tuck brings the hammer down and uh the torch jumps backwards out of the way and the hammer slams into the ground and there's a moment of stillness and then the pillar of fire that was being like wolf engulfs and rises up into the air is big massive uh like fire ball like whoa curling up mushrooming up into the air and then the fireball into the sky slowly takes as it comes off of ving are you just narrating your own death right now give him a second okay it rises up and spreads out wings of fire come out a head of fire comes out and it's this big beautiful shape of a bird a fire bird and as the tail lifts up and it rises up into the air ving is there unharmed what move did you use uh during the advanced level two I took born of fire you are no longer harmed by the touch of fire nor are you vulnerable to heat so wait was this the secret move that he took that we were yeah therefore okay yeah he told this to me while you guys were like in the bathroom or something I was like that's pretty tight so ving is invulnerable to the touch of fire so there's this huge fire phoenix in the shape of cloud piercer basically it's the shape of his spirit animal of fire does that mean cloud piercer is there or no okay I think it was just a flare on ving's part yeah cool uh so again it's quiet everybody sees this happen they see the torch immolate somebody they see that person not die but they also realize that the torch did not take the saffron eat the saffron he like his hand is still in the air and he's like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die he's still outreached and he opens his hand eat it prove to us cool yeah fucking way to turn the tide of this this is sick I did not know how this was gonna go and see this is why I didn't prepare a huge board game because I did not expect this at all um so yeah ving you're standing there with your hand outstretched saying eat the saffron and the torch looks at you he's just silent you can tell he doesn't know what to do right now he was not expecting this uh but behind him in the group of widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz their weapons more start running and then pandemonium starts breaking out in the ranks where people start to run and then others grab them and are like what are you doing yeah and fights are breaking out within the ranks themselves and stuff it's it's a fight now it's a melee like people are people are panicking running all over town the immolators start freaking out they're grabbing people uh where the librarians in this and the librarians at that very moment arrive and vink said that where the fucking life I thought the fuck is everybody people in the white robes of the librarians of the margani library start pouring out of like side streets some are jumping off buildings like you see as one of the immolators is running forward to a group that's disbanding trying to grab them um you see burke the dwarf librarian in his robe leap off the top of a building and land on this immolator like knees to the chest and take them down to the ground sick that's happening all over the place librarians are pouring out of buildings and the fight is on it's kind of confusing because they're trying to figure out who's trying to escape yeah who's still fighting us so there's a lot of confusion this is what we wanted and the torch stands up and looks at ving and being winks at him oh and he just like he grimaces and basically just roars at you like yeah and starts firing more gouts of flame I don't think that's a good thing I don't think that's a good thing I don't think that's a good thing I don't think he fully realizes what happened so he's still he's just trying to fight the three of you now billy what are you doing uh billy is having a little like flashbacks to that memory so he hasn't really done anything yet oh yeah you hear like the clash of like sword on sword and it's just bringing you back to all these terrible times well here's something that might draw you out of it you see the cloaked figure from the immolators tuck isn't looking he's like swinging his hammer at the torch still you see the cloaked figure from the immolators charge tuck what do you do oh does the hooded figure have like a sword or anything oh is it is it tlc oh yeah you see the hand go up underneath like the cape yeah and remove the light glints off yeah a copper blade and an amethyst spike I'm gonna use the fairy child roll now eight um so on an eight I get three holds so do you want to spend one of those right now can I just use backstab oh yeah like you can use one of those holds and just try and yeah I'll hold on to those holds and I'm gonna try to attack a surprised enemy cool oh I'm actually gonna hurl I'm gonna use that cool knife I got full of that paralyzing potion and I'm going to throw it at that figure oh all right okay so that is 2d6 plus dexterity seven plus so it's nine and then do I get a plus one yeah because you're a halfling throwing thing right oh god damn it um yeah okay so billy you throw your dagger this fancy poison dagger out in front of you it arcs through the air and jabs this cloaked figure right in the side and they come to a halt almost immediately tipping forward on their locked arms and legs and they're like oh my god legs tlc clatters out on the sand in front of them and as you run up to like grab your dagger the cloak has fallen back and it is not fathom what it's just a buff guy it's just another buff dude so now I whip around looking for fathom it's fevin fat evan oh wait no it's another one of tux bullies from the old days that fathom and him it's feeder so yeah you grab your dagger you whip around you don't see fathom but you know that this isn't him shit uh tuck ving is alive and everything's going crazy what are you doing and the torch has just attacked ving he's concentrated on me I think yeah yeah he wants to make it easier for the librarians to know which of the light guards are like the guys that are escaping and which ones are the ones that are attacking so I'm gonna do what are you waiting for to the army of people like everyone like to just get them out of here and then I'm gonna do what are you waiting for to the army of people like to just get them out of here and then I'm gonna do what are you waiting for to the to be like fight me now right yeah oh that's really risky so all these just like a a rain of arrows oh lots of the sun yeah yeah billy just one huge burning barrel comes in bullseye stuck oh right there's still all the artillery and stuff yeah it's hard to say what's going on with that though because there's no one really like the torch is in here so whoever's commanding the shit outside yeah and I wonder who that guy is could be third fathom fathom fathom could be anybody what are you waiting for oh my holy shit 13 wow wow so what happens on the 10 plus on what are you waiting for they treat you as the most obvious threat to be dealt with and ignore your companions take plus two damage ongoing against plus two damage ongoing that's what you wrote sick whoa so does that mean I get plus two damage against the whole army yeah yeah cool that's a lot of damage that said a bunch of them have run away a bunch of them are fighting other ones of them yeah and a bunch of them are fighting librarians yeah so it's not like you're gonna have 90 people trying to kick your shit in total but yeah basically everybody in this square that isn't already fighting somebody is gonna be trying to fight you yeah okay so what is your what are you waiting for look like uh he takes his warhammer and while the torch is focused on ving he fucking slams him in the face and then he hits him in the face and then he hits him in the face and then he him in the back like cheap shots him and I like I then thrust my hips and like like do the thing we do this suck it yeah I do the second move thrust my hips like put my like I slam my hands on my thighs all right and you see all of these light guard watch you cheap shot the torch of McCall and then do the suck it move towards their God and yeah a bunch of them turn towards you and start running at you fucking shit so what do you do I run yourself I run I guess I give me a hack and slash yeah I run at them and I just I try and deal with the first ones that come 12 so you just deal damage roll your damage plus two with your huge ass hammer seven well describe yourself destroying three people I throw the hammer at three guys that are going to lie like the closest guys like that start sprinting at me I just whip the hammer at them yeah and then I'm like that's my hammer gone that's my hammer and we'll cut to being for a sec cuz he's fighting the torch right now so yeah thing you're fighting the torch of McCall he's just yelling at you and now I'm the one who's laughing at him cuz he's hitting me with fire you said he's hitting me with bolts of fire yeah but as he sees you like initially start turning it aside he's just getting close to you I'm gonna roll um I'm gonna roll a roll um uh fart with honor to get my whole fight fight with honor what did I say fart with honor did I actually say fart with honor you know what you didn't do that on purpose I'm gonna turn around and fart with honor and because he's shooting fire me a little blue flame comes out fart with I think I got seven yay okay seven so you get one hold from that yeah okay are you spending it I guess not I mean like he's not here yet I still have a moment I don't want to see what billy's doing okay yeah so this is just you squaring up yeah like you're trading a couple blows with them getting ready to fart with honor yeah okay pretty good and he's just he's just yelling in your face like heretic heretic over and over foaming at the mouth and we cut to billy billy you've picked up your knife this is not fathom it's not fathom but I'm looking around and all these people are charging at tuck and I like brace myself but they run past me so I like cover up the axe like you see a bunch running I like it yeah so as they run past cover up the axe like oh nothing here to see yeah nothing here to see and then and then I'm like and then I grab the axe and I want to bring it to tuck okay uh I feel like it's defy danger strike sure really heavy I know and I even asked I'm like tlc are you guys in there come on help me what do they say nothing right now they don't say anything they're spirits but billy can talk to them can he can talk to fairies oh they're not fairies yet quite yet they're in there they're in the fairy oven but they're not quite done with what strength strength doesn't matter I still got 11 so you know what I've changed my mind because that role was so high yeah I think you're like tugging on the axe and you're you know kicking your feet trying to drag it backwards it's going really slow and you feel as you feel the axe like vibrate a little bit in your hands you guys can you hear me I'm taking you back to tuck I hope that makes you guys really happy he missed you a lot he didn't really want to say anything because he gets really embarrassed but I can hear him cry at night and I think that's why he didn't want to go to bed because he's so sad you guys are really heavy still cut back to that to a couple nights ago in the library that was very funny and billy you feel the same way I do I feel like I'm like oh my god I'm like oh my god I'm like oh my god I'm like oh my god I'm like oh my god I'm like oh my god I'm like oh my god You can just hear them.

That's what we know right now. Oh, you know what? Okay, tell me if this is stupid. So you hear like, what's up, little dude? And then behind on the other side of the axe, you see three little dudes, one made of copper, one made of crystal, and one made of stone start pushing the axe on the other side. I love this. I'm so happy to see you. And you see all three of them are pushing it and they're like, what up?

And you see all three of them at the same time lift up a hand and put out a thumb and a pinky and go, yeah, bro. Whoa. They hang loose. They hang loose. They do the haka and then they start pushing the axe and you're moving now. Heck yeah, heck yeah. Oh, God. That's great. Cut back to Tuck, I guess. You are weaponless. You threw your hammer instantaneously. Does he have enough clearance to go running at the hammer or is he being mobbed?

I mean, he's being mobbed, but you could probably just punch the shit out of people. Oh, you also have the waning knife. Yeah, I don't know what that does. So I'm just going to start punching the shit out of people. Okay. I'm going to say, I will say though that because they all have weapons, you're going to need to roll a defy danger to deal with the fact that they've got reach on you. Yeah, fair enough. So how are you doing it? I don't know. I guess I'm just barreling through them.

Constitution. Yeah. Yeah. 13. Fuck me. Yeah. And then now hack and slash. Yeah. 10. Oh my God. Roll your fucking damage. Plus train tuck for. Okay. Yeah. You take one and a half. Yeah. So one and a half, I guess that means I punch one dude and I like it knocks him out and then I kick another guy in the nuts. He's not not dead, but he wishes he was dead. Yes.

And you're like, you feel the heat on your back as the torch of McCall is whipping gouts of flame and through the crowd passing through one of the side streets. You see Fatim. Oh, enter the square. Oh, no, he's, he's maybe 60 feet away. You see him wearing his full armor, no helmet. You see his stupid little braid that he used to have is gone and one side of his face, the side that, that you took the eye out of is covered in a web of burn scars. Whoa, fuck. Holy shit.

You see a glint inside that eye. Like, what kind of glint? Fiery glint? It looks to you like a small piece of sunstone has been set into the side of his face. Jesus. He's cyborg. Oh, shit. Oh my God. He sees you and there is no change in the emotion on his face and he starts walking towards you and then picks up a gun. He picks it up to a run and then he's just barreling. Oh my God. Tuck does the same thing. Oh my God.

Give me defying your strength to get through this crowd and then we'll cut away because this is, that's fucking, that's a sick image. Holy shit. Yeah. Oh my God. Eight. Constitution? Plus strength. Strength to push through. Yeah. Eight? Yeah. What do we think the half failure is? I. Oh, it's that you're running away from Billy. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Yeah. Tuck. Cause I don't know that he has the ax. I haven't seen it. Billy's just running like, where the fuck is he going? I like that.

Billy's like, you know, that scene, you know, that scene in Wally where Wally's stuck in the, the like road of all the other robots and he's like, oh fuck. It's just Billy running through legs with this ax. Like, oh no. And he's like, oh, so close, so close. And then Tuck's like, sprints away from you. Okay. So yeah, to complete the image, it's like, Tuck, you, you just sweep your arms and shoulder through this crowd. Yeah.

And then it's just an open stretch between you and Fatim as you're pounding across the sand at each other. Yeah. Just two total fucking idiots. Oh my God. They're rocking hard plays. And then we cut back to Ving. Ving, what are you doing? Okay. I think I'm just gonna, like, he's just so pissed. I'm just gonna walk up and headbutt him. Yeah. So you're dealing your damage. So you're just rolling. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just walking up to him and he's like, wow, you're so frustrated.

And I just get close enough and I, dome him with my dome. Four. Four. Cool. What animal style? He says, Ving Chi. Face first, motherfucker. I got an open face, face sandwich. No, he just says, Ving Chi. You're saying all this stuff and in the, in his head, the torch slash the demon. I just came up with that with a, off the top of my dome. Dong. And then he headbutts him. Oh man, I like the image that he's like, still fighting.

Like, like gouts of flame at you and you just push through them with your hands and grab both of his hands. Yeah. And then slam him in the head. Yeah. And he reels back. Like you get him real good. Bloody nose. Oh yeah. Okay. Okay. But it's, so it's like a fucking Thanos thing. Like you headbutt him and you, it's like headbutting a fucking brick wall and he's looking at you in the eyes and you see a little trickle of blood start pouring out of his nose. And we cut back to Billy.

Billy, you're, your tuck is running away from you. I'm just like, oh no. Tuck. You hear Terry, Larry, Chad be like, where is he going? Oh no. Turn around. Turn around you guys. Oh my God. Okay. Really push it. All right. Heave. Heave. Ho. Heave. Ho. Terry, Larry, Chad, I don't know if we're going to make it in time. These are so fast. He's so much faster than us.

And so I decided to switch a room and see if, if I can get TLC in Tuck's hand and grab the, like the bracer with the ward stone on his wrist instead. Awesome. Fucking sick. So cool. And then now Billy will have that shield too. Oh yeah. It'll be huge for me. Two D6 plus charisma. Oh, so good. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah. Okay, great. So here's something to consider.

So the first thing that we're going to do is that his bracer is made out of ward stone or not made out of, but has an inlay of ward stone. So you reach out and you're like, ah, I'm going to swap it. I'm not magic. Oh wait. Yes, I am. It is kind of magic. It sort of has the same effect, but so you reach out like you, you know, you can feel the little beam of energy or whatever beam of magic, you know, wind like the tunnel. Yeah. Oh, cool.

And then it connects and you feel the switch happen and Larry, Terry, and Chad go like, whoop, they're gone. Yeah. And in your hand is the waning knife that Tuck stole from you in Lillian's tomb. You just stole it back, Billy. He wears it inside the bracer. Oh, cool. Oh, what? That Tuck stole from you all those months ago. Hello again. Don't kiss the poison blade. We cut to Tuck.

And Tuck, you're running, like your arms are pumping and your right hand or what brace, what arm do you wear the bracer on? Uh, left. So your left fist like pumps in front of your face, swings back, pumps in front of your face, swings back. Terry, Larry, and Chad are in your hands. And Fatim, as you run faster, he gets his speed. But as Fatim is running towards you and he sees a fucking axe appear in your hands, you see his, you see in his face like, oh, fuck. I keep running.

It's just, as I'm running him to Terry, Larry, Chad, I'm like, you're back. I missed you so much. Uh, do they say anything? Not to you. What? I can talk to them. Oh, only during for the blood God. Yeah. Okay. Uh, but you feel, you feel a familiar vibration in your hand. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm running and as I'm advancing, like we're getting pretty close. Tuck takes the axe and he slices through a bit of rock. That's like, he's like running past and flicks it up in the air.

And like baseball bats it into Fadum's head. Oh, yeah. Cool. 2d6 plus dexterity. Seven. What's my decks? It's zero. So seven. Okay. So yeah. Describe what it looks like to knock a Fadum down. Yeah. So the piece of rock is like kind of like fist size and it kind of like nails him in the eye that was replaced in the sunstone. I kind of just like legs go out from under him. Yeah. His head, stays in the same place.

He's horizontal for a little bit and then just like hits the ground that you could feel a tremor because he's so fucking big and then he slides for a bit to Tuck's feet. And then I go, who's the chunky monkey now? You chunky monkey now. You really wrapped that up at the end. Uh, and oh my God. Yeah. And Fadum looks up at you with just absolute hate in his eyes. I. I. Absolute hate in his eyes. Does the sunstone thing flare or anything? Well, now it catches the rising light and it's brightening.

Yeah. And he smiles. There's a little bit of blood on his teeth and he points up behind you. I turn around. And arcing, through the air from the edge of town are three balls of fire. Oh. And that's where we're gonna end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Thanks for listening, everybody. Joining me is always playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Goodbye, everyone. Playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long.

And playing Fat Billy the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. See ya. Thanks for listening to this very tense episode of Spout Lore. And thank you to Aaron Reed for our amazing intro and outro music. Thank you to all of our amazing susporters. Uh, on Patreon and beyond. You can find us on the internet at Spout Lore most places including patreon.com slash Spout Lore. You can join our Discord. Oh, yeah. Go to the Discord. It's pretty fun. I think we have a link on our Twitter account.

There's also links in the show notes now. Oh, there's links in the show notes to the Discord. Also, Jessica, do you feel comfortable posting any of these pictures that you've been drawing? Yeah, sure. Then go to the website. Go to spelllore.com to see some of the pictures that Jessica has been drawing. All my anxiety drawings. Yeah. They are incredible. Yeah. Your anxiety is incredibly artistic. Thank you. See you next time, everybody.

And so ends the tale of Adventures 3 who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

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Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore and we laughed and laughed including fathom who laughed smiling through bloody teeth and pointed up past you oh no yeah the balls revealing in the sky three arcing balls of flame oh god and that is where we find ourselves now tuck you're looking up into the blue sky of the of the dawn day moon sun the days the day moon of the day the sky you're looking into the sky yeah and three balls of flame are arcing over the town what do you do uh I'm like bing water oh oh yeah cool so bing looks sees the the balls coming over the hill fireballs and uh elemental masteries the pond I'm assuming they're full of like explosives or oil or something yeah based on what far I told you in your head you can assume that yeah those are full of like flammable oil yeah it's not baked bread like we hoped yeah and you're probably not yeah oh my god it's rolls uh so you're probably not going to be able to like bullseye three two one knock them all out with water but what I'm hoping to do is uh build a wall of water to pass them through it to at least put them out so that if they land okay oil goes on the ground you know what I mean this is a less destructive all right 2d6 plus con great wall of water nice 10 oh shit okay so on a 10 plus choose two uh the fact you desire to comes to pass and avoid paying nature's price or retain control so I won't retain control it's just water I want the effect to come to pass and I won't pay nature's price all right describe this he sees the flame balls coming and he's like I've got a couple balls of my own and then he grabs the water up and then throws up and circles the barrels and water and um puts out the fire okay yeah so the torch is right in front of you tuck yells bing water you look up and then you go up and You tuck yells, Ving water.

You look up. You reach out towards the pond. Well, the oasis, the spring. And you pull up a huge wall of water. But because you chose not to retain control, so much more water comes out of the oasis than you expected to. It becomes a wall that the three barrels crash through. And then this huge wave slams down, hitting everybody. All of you are battered by this thing of water. Nice. And water continues to pour out of the oasis. I'm really loving it. Yeah, I'm wet as fuck, guys. Ving made me wet.

A bunch of the people fighting, the librarians and the like, a bunch of them are knocked down. They're struggling to their feet. The torch of McCall is unsteady. Billy, you're swiftly… I'm just river rafting. Yeah. That's what I'm doing. You see Billy get carried away on this… I'm fine. He's fine. He's tubing. He goes by like this. I want to be clear to Billy. Yeah. You're like ping-ponging off people that are fighting and trying to struggle up. You're out of control. I'm doing totally fine.

Billy, what are you doing? You're being carried away. I was honestly just going to vibe. I can't just do that. No, you can totally just be like, I'm just going to let the water take me where I'm going. Oh, I don't want to do that. I really… I'm going to try to come back to the middle because I actually feel safer in there. Yes. Where all the killing's being done. Because I'm like, I can fight close up, but those sandworms have big mouths. And I'm a small boy. Oh, no. What am I rolling with?

Well, so what are you trying to do? I was trying to swerve my body with my dexterity. My dexterity. So 2D6 plus dexterity is what I'm hearing. It's 4D6 anyway. This is what Billy is saying in his head. And his mispronunciation is why he fucks. Yeah. I'm just trying to use my dexterity. Dexterity. Dexterity. Dexterity. Slam. Slam. Slam. Slam. Yeah. It's like I'm trying to take a turn in a water slide and I go off the edge. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's terrifying. Yeah.

So you hit a bunch of legs on the way through. You run into like a box that's floating by and you're carried out of the main square like down a side street. You're totally separated now. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Ving. Ving. The Torch of McCall is still trying to fight you. He's soaked. He's like steaming. Cool. That is fucking hot. Shit. I don't know. This is Tuck's internal model. Because the Torch of McCall is also ripped off his shirt and he's got those like old ass like pecs and big abs. Fuck.

Yeah. Look up. If you guys want to look up a picture of J.K. Simmons exercising, it's that but like a Middle Eastern guy. With really nice hair. Yeah. With that like. Yeah. Something that like dark salt and pepper. Yeah, totally. It's not ripped off completely, but it's getting pretty torn. It is drenched. Wow. And he's wading through the water as it's rushing out of the oasis.

You realize that, yeah, there was a underwater river that was feeding this spring and you might have redirected the entire river. Oh, geez. So now there's just a river trying to rush through town. Oh, man. A river runs through it now. No. This is going to get so boring. Oh, God. Anthony Hopkins is going to have a stroke at the end of the day. At the end of this episode. Spoilers. God. For a 1992 movie. Honestly, I've barely even heard of this movie.

I'm surprised that you of all people have seen it. I'm going to go at him with my spear. Oh, yeah. The spear that you finally remember that you have. I have a spear, everybody. Yeah. So, yeah, he was pretty close when you decided to do your elemental mastery. So he's right up on you. Okay. I'm going to leap back, flip back and then lunge forward spear. All right. Defy danger dexterity to get out of his range. Yeah. Great. Oh, yeah. So I have 12. Yeah. You fucking like you barely move.

It's that like anime jump back. You know, just. Oh, yeah. It looks like I operated backwards. Yeah. Yeah. It's that like blur in the air. And then you're just like 12 feet back. So cool. Oh, and there's like the splash is still settling from where I just was. Yeah. All the water on the foot. Now my attack. Yeah. I can slash strength. Great. So I got an eight. Okay. Roll your damage. Five. Yeah. Nice. He's I mean, he's very tough.

It's that same sort of you hit him and it's it sounds like it clacks off like a stone countertop. Oh, God. But he makes that like, oh, and I push I push him back from where tech is. You hear. Oh, you don't see what's going on over there. You do yourself. Yeah. Yeah. You deal him a pretty good hit. He also does damage to you. So roll. So two D 10. Nine. Okay. So he does nine damage. Oh, damn it. Okay. So I think the forceful thing is that you spear him.

He takes the hit and he slides back in the water. The water like parts behind him and he does this like spin where he spins himself along the length of the spear to get in close to you and his elbow swings around and he clocks you right in the jaw. Oh, God. Elbow. Sick. But you take nine damage. Holy. Tuck. This is all happened in the last like four seconds. Basically. Yeah. The water hit. Billy got carried away. You heard him go. Whoa. And Ving and the torch are brawling. What's that?

I'm doing. He's like struggling up out of the water. Oh, I push him back down to the ground pretty hard. You know, bully style. Two D six plus strength. Nine. Nine. Okay. He's trying to get up and you just reach down to push him back into the water. Okay. Okay. And he grabs onto you and drags you down into the water with him. So we're grappling. You're grappling. You feel his like fucking iron python arms start wrapping around like under your armpit and across your neck.

And he's trying to get you in a chokehold. Can I do unbowed and Brent unbroken? Yeah. Brent. Yeah. Dr. Falcon. Dark edge. Appears in the air where I floating above with with wings of blood dragon. Magic. I use the power of Brent Constantine to infuriate my enemies. Is that what Constantine was about? Keanu Reeves with Brent Constantine's face. Do you know this is actually based on me? This is about when I died of lung cancer and went to hell to fight the devil. Yeah. So I'm bound.

I'm bent on broken. Keep in mind. Suggest that you're not fighting back. Yeah. Okay. I get pulled down into the water and then tuck. Instead of fighting back goes with him and pulls fat under the water as well. It's kind of a gamble to be like whichever of us drowns first. Oh my God. I'm drowning both of us. Oh no. My move is to drown myself and my enemy and then hope I can stay conscious longer than them because I have always known that like strength wise we're on equal footing.

Like if we take each other to the ground, it's basically like we're hugging each other until we're both tired. Yeah. And then we fall asleep and then one of us wakes up first, pisses on the other one's head and then walks away. 2d6 plus constitution, I guess. Okay. Here we go. Fuck. Oh. Five, six, seven, eight. Eight. Oh. Plus constitution. Roll a 2d10s for me. Eight. Eight. So you're struggling under the water. There's like sand and silt and stuff like clouding your vision. Mm-hmm.

And you're getting like mouthfuls of dirt and water. Mm-hmm. And you feel at Fatim's arms wrapping around you. You're wrapping around him. And then just a fucking sledgehammer fist pounds you in the side of the face like over and over and over. And you take eight damage as he just goes crazy on whatever he can find. I have one armor. Yeah. So you take seven. Okay. Yeah. What are you guys at? I'm at 10. Whoa. Damn. Damn. Damn. That's like two more hits. Billy, you're careening down alleys.

You don't even really know where you are. You're just trying to stay above the waterline. I'm doing okay. And as you're carried through town, you see a group of light guard sort of reforming. They all look like they're just trying to get each other on their feet and ready to go. And you're heading right for them. What do you do? I just go underwater. Nice. They're probably not going to notice me. Okay. Great. Defy danger dexterity. Eight. Okay. Cool. So they do notice you. Okay.

They see a bunch of stuff bobbing through the water. It's just my little middle finger. It's like two little bird sharks. Somehow they go on either side of them. And you hear them start shouting after you and McCollin. Follow me, boys and ladies. You had an idea. So what's your plan? What I wanted. To do was I want to make basically a second thing to use the torch. Oh, with your fucking create a convincing illusion. Yes. That's an interesting idea. Can I offer my two cents on this?

So you've got this like group of light guard running after you. I wonder if you could use your convincing illusion to make like them look like things to like really like how some merit like draw them back to the square and be like, there's more elementalist. Yeah, that's a good idea. So like really cool. Make them look like Ving and then try and get back to the square. Yeah. And lead them in with you. That's awesome.

Yeah, that's kind of what I want to do because I want to confuse all the fighters and especially the torch. That's awesome. I really like that. The first order of business would be try and get back to the square. Billy's feeling surprisingly good and chill like this whole fight. He's really just been like carrying around an axe and then like floating around. So I'm just going to trust that. The water knows what to do and I'm just going to wait for it to carry me back. I like it.

I give me a 2d6 plus charisma. Oh, no. Thank God. I got four. Wow. That's not good. Very sad. Can I spend one of my holds to resist a failure? Yeah, because I have three holds for today and one of them I can turn a failed roll into a seven to nine. Oh, that's just part of. A fairy child. I thought I changed that. Cool move, John. All right. So I think, yeah, that totally works.

So and this makes perfect sense with the charisma because you're just like you tap into this like however the luck of fairies works. You just tap into the nature of chaos and change and the water starts to carry you in the direction. Like I knew it would. Like you knew it would. I think the seven to nine is that you. Twiddle your fingers and now chasing you is a group of things that all look identical. Tuck. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Pethouse forum. Dear Pethouse. Dear Pethouse.

And then there were six to nine of them. And I think as you're floating down the water, you're looking at your own body and you realize that your arms and legs look a lot longer than they usually do. What? Yeah. You look at your at your body and you're like wearing the same clothes that Ving was wearing when you get here. Oh, my God. And yeah, you've made yourself look like Ving. Oh, no. But like also I'm like so tall. Yeah.

That's the thing is the illusion is convincing enough that you're like, is this my actual body now? So Ving, you're fighting the torch of McCall. You like are, you know, jumping around each other, trading blows and you get turned around. To the point where you're looking at a side street and like seven copies of you run into the alley at the same time. One floating on a current that is separate from all other currents in this river going. Whoa. Going like this. Yeah. Two middle fingers up.

Backwards. Yeah. To provoke the light guard. Yeah. And yeah, there's just like a bunch of copies of you in this area. The water level has seemed to like. Stabilized at around knee height for you. So Billy, it's like it might as well be an actual pool. Yes. There's a thrashing in the water. And every once in a while you see a brown arm or legs stick up out of the foam. Great.

I would like to use my light as a feather to jump back and run across the top of the water and get into the middle of all the things. Nice. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Ooh. Nice. Six plus what? Dexterity. Yep. 11. Beautiful. Great. So he runs, he steps like, you know, it's like up to his knees, the water. So he takes a step like in the middle of the water and then like close to the top. He's like running up like there's stairs built inside the water. Ding, ding, ding, ding.

Till he reaches the top. And then you're just like darting across the surface of this water. Like one of those water lizards. Yeah. He looks like a fucking idiot. Like behind him. Yeah. His hair is splayed out. Like it's like. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And you're. Bleeding from my nose. And you rush towards this. Group of yous. Yeah. Including one that's like sitting in this water floating down. Something. Billy, is that you? You know it.

Oh, the rest of them are speaking McCollin. Yeah. Right. Can I go for the torch? Yeah, totally. Okay. Because he's like, yeah, he's moving forward. He sees this happening. Ving jumps in the group. And I start speaking my best, worst McCollin. Yeah. What? Dundas to a bibliotheca. That's what we're all trying to find, man. We're all trying to find the fucking library. We're all trying to find the bibliotheca. So the torch runs forward towards the group waiting through the water.

Although it's like steaming up in front of him. Like he's evaporating a significant amount of the water around him at any one time. So he's just becoming this like cloud of fog as time passes. But now he does not sure which Ving it is. So yeah, Billy, what do you do? I'm just going to throw a dagger. Yeah. I don't know. Unless you guys, I can't think of anything. Actually, I think that's sick.

Like where it's like Ving disappears into the crowd and then a fucking dagger like just whips out of there. From a different Ving. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. From its belly a little bit. Yeah. Way lower than you would have expected. So yeah. Wait, actually. So I know. What do we think? Because what I was thinking is that because it's not, it did what Billy did, but maybe a little bit better than he thought it would. I think that this is Billy's actual. Yeah. Physicality. Physicality.

So like you're. As tall as Ving. Oh. Like you have his reach. You're bigger than you've ever been in your life. I'm a giant. Everybody get out of the way. I'm going to crush you. It feels awesome. Like the wave carries me and like drops me on my feet and I go into this like loping run. It's so graceful. I've never been so fit and fast in my life. But it reminds you of a physicality that you feel like is a little familiar from eons. Ago. Oh shit. Moving with a grace that you haven't felt in ages.

Oh my God. I do remember and I grabbed my knife like an ancient memory and I know exactly what to do. I aim it at the torch and I chuck it. Beautiful. Cool. Two to six plus dexterity. Oh, so beautiful. It is an 11. Sick. Fucking tight. I aimed it right for his throat. Roll. Roll your dice. I'm going to do damage. Ooh.

Um, the torch is like running through your, you're trying to see him through this cloud of steam that he's creating and you see it below apart and you see his furious face, the fire burning behind his eyes becoming almost like a visible flame. Your knife shoots out and it streaks right for him and you hear him cry out and just and pull back into the fog. This is getting fucked. So there's like fog all over the place. Yeah. I can't even see his face now. But you know what?

Billy doesn't see the fog. Oh. He sees the like the rushing snow, the blizzard. Ooh. The winter warm. Different face. Whoa. What face? It's a, it's a, uh, uh, a Dark Elf King. Whoa. Yeah. So sick. He sees the same dark burning in those eyes and he knows he's fought this before. So sick. Fuckin' sick. So cool. Oh my God. The Dark Elf might've been the demon of zealotry. That's an interesting answer. I think it's a good answer. I think it's a good answer. I think it's a good answer.

I think it's a good answer. I think it's a good answer. The Dark Elf might've been the demon of zealotry. That's an interesting idea too. Oh my God. You could have fought the same demon years and years ago. Oh my God. So sick. But yeah, I like the idea that instead of this like billowing white fog, it's whipping snow. Yeah. There's like whistling wind, like whipping through your hair. So sick. As you descend into this like past memory. Oh, that's fucking cool. Yeah. Tuck, you're drowning.

No, I'm sorry. You feel like teeth bite into you. Like he's going crazy. He's very mad. Yeah. And you actually see like lights like flashing under the water. Oh. As his face like comes in and out of you, you see this pinpoint of light. Oh, okay. Yeah. So Tuck is like, he usually tries to not mortally wound people while he's fighting, but like he's like dying basically. He's been underwater for a long time.

So he, uh, he grabs his ax close to like the ax head and then he like punches the amethyst stick. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh my god yeah okay hack and slash eight roll your damage ten whoa damn yeah you just punch forward you wait until you see this light get closer to you and you just punch forward you feel it connect with something and then you just see through the light like red cloud around you but then you also feel that fist come back in so roll d10 seven yeah and he just fucking hammers away at you again it's like in like your ribs you feel one hit you in the groin like he's just punching whatever he can find yeah he's not dead I just like no name but he said he lets go like after he hits you a few times he lets go okay and now you have the opportunity to write yourself and maybe stand back up yeah I push it when he when I feel his grip slackening I push him away and I go to the surface for like a breath of air yeah you're I'm gonna say you're able to like stand back up fully okay so you just like breach yeah like a whale oh my god Ving you're in the middle of this group of copies of you and where there was just like turbulence in the water next to you this massive form stands up and just yells this huge breath of air being drawn in I'm bleeding so much are you okay no like one at one of your eyes is starting to swell shut oh yeah yeah it's fucking intense yeah but Ving you're in this the middle of this group of you and they're all trying to figure out what's going on there's like a bunch of jostling because they're not sure if one of them is an enemy or not Ving's going yeah what is going on jostle jostle what the heck jostle is this your plan to just confuse them no I take this this moment of jostling to grab a flag and down a bit of my the wine give me a defy danger charisma okay do it slyly yeah pretty much why because I'm just like just be like oh man yeah what's going on just give me a second glug glug glug glug what a crazy day right water water everywhere but not a wine to drink you know what I mean nice I love it Ving is way too good at drinking on the sly yeah oh it's like a fucking like Jackie Chan and drunken master like you're spinning behind people's backs like pulling the wine out yeah like when they're not looking you like get behind them drink some wine get behind them drink some wine I duck underwater drink some wine somehow hand it to somebody they look at it in confusion you punch them in the stomach take the wine I poured in the guy's mouth and then I make out with him suck it out of his mouth clock set for a second he sees being kissing himself and he's like dear house so yeah so I think you heal for 10 hit points great great you guys have magic healing potions right FYI totally we're gonna cut back to Billy's like cat and mouse in the whipping snow so Billy you're stalking through this like whipping snow storm it's flashing in and out of like the hot day in McCall the rushing water and then freezing cold whipping snow and you're trying to track down your your quarry your adversary what do you do okay so Billy would have stalked like the physical torch like the being because he would have to kill him as like the demons vessel but he's also going to like basically commune or like um like basically like corner the demon as well like using his like fairy power because like they are in some ways like sort of like how he can talk to the spirit world there's like a way where they can talk yeah because the way that we've talked about it is it's all connected like yeah!!

And making like clicking sounds and stuff like that to confuse him, like sharpening the knife and stuff like that. Sick. So sick. Okay. So what does Billy say? Like in this language? Don Diaz, the biblioteca. Did you say Don Diaz, the biblioteca? Hi, I'm Don Diaz. The library. I guess Billy is going to say like, I know what you want. You will never win. You will always be searching. 2d6 plus charisma. Nine. Yeah. So Billy, you're stalking through this snowstorm slash knee high water.

And all you can see around you is this billowing white steam and this whipping snowstorm, the wind creating eddies in the, in the air that suggests a shape there. Are they there? Are they ahead of you? Are they behind you? And you hear in response over the wind and over the billowing fog ahead of you. There is no victory. There is only pursuit. This will never end. I will not win, but I will not lose. And then a darting figure comes out of the fog and rushes right at you. What do you do?

Grab a knife. Grab my little like paralyzing knife. Oh yeah. I jam it in their gut. Ooh. You take the hit. Yeah. If this, this is the thing is they're coming right for you. So if you're, if you're letting them get close, he's going to hit you. That's fine. Yeah. Fuck. Hack and slash. Or I guess it's, I guess it would be since it's a, like you're letting him hit you think that he surprised you. You're it's a backstab. Probably. Okay. Um, so it's dexterity. So it's seven.

So it's a seven to nine on backstab. Um, choose one. So you don't get into melee with them. You create an advantage towards you are an ally acting on it. Ooh. Can I create an advantage for Ving? Yeah, totally. Like it's basically like whoever does something next, we'll get a plus one. Cool. Yeah. That work. Yeah. Okay. Cause you're in the spirit area, right? Like this, this zone in between. Yeah. I'm letting out a lot. Cool. Okay. Billy roll a 2d 10. Okay. Okay. Not six and nine.

So you take nine. That's our Billy. You take nine damage. Oh man. We all got walloped. Yeah. This dude's fucking brutal. Um, but yeah, this figure comes rushing out of the fog slash snow. You see flashes of the grizzled face, of the torch of McCall interspersed with images of this dark elf King that was killed thousands of years ago. And he rushes forward and a hand locks around your neck and crushes down on your windpipe.

You feel something break in there, but you jam your dagger up into his chest and the victory in his eyes turns to panic as he feels this venom coursing through his flesh and he lets go and stumbles back through the fog, bringing this, this billowing cloud with him as the image of this white steam and the snow storm starts to recede in your memory. What do you do? Um, I don't try to catch it. I'm just standing there. Something happened in my neck. It was really bad. Vang.

Are you, you were heading over there too? Yeah. I mean, uh, with the, the connection feeling with the spear, you know, and seeing Billy go in and out of this, getting these little flashes of him, I mean, between clouds and snow. So I enter into the cloud. Let me, let me just give you an image. Cause I'm curious about this. As Billy's Ving body leaves the cloud, you see a flash of what Billy was all those eons ago. What does he see for just a moment? What do you see?

Oh, I see, um, what looks like a man made of wood. Ooh. And then it's just Ving. Tuck. You've breached the surface of this water. There's a, a group of Ving, Ving's everywhere. Have I seen the conflict between Billy and the torch? You see this huge cloud and you saw Ving run into it. Oh. And me, I yell Billy as I go in. So, you know, the Billy's in there. Okay. Uh, so I'm like, well, everyone's in that cloud. Party time. Let's hot box this book. Yes.

The more time you take, the more time you're giving Fadim to jump out of this, this water. So he, uh, he sees like two things go in and like, he knows that Billy's in there. So he's like, I have to fucking get in there and find the torch. And he's had this like plan kind of percolating in his head ever since he read that demon book and talk to Alma. So he communes with his acts using for the blood God to try to do the same thing that he did on the purifier when he saw the, the true form of Alma.

Where he sees the true form of the torch. Right. Because Alma told you that whatever you did with Terry, Larry and Chad separated the human and the iconic form. Yeah. He said it was like painful. Like it was ripping a shell off of a crap kind of thing. Yeah. It separated the demon from the human form for a second. Right. Okay. This makes sense. Yeah. What a nice payoff for a thing that happened like two seasons ago. Oh yeah.

So that's what's going on is tuck is running into the cloud and trying to use Terry layer and Chad to disrupt. Yeah. He's trying to separate the demon from the man. Okay. So for the blood God, you are initiated in the old ways, the ways of sacrifice, choose something, your gods or ancestor spirits value. When you sacrifice those things as per your rights and rituals, role plus wisdom on a 10 plus the GM will grant you insight into your current life.

And then you can, your current trouble or a boon to help you on a seven to nine. The sacrifice is not enough and the gods will take of your flesh as well. Keep in mind that the sacrifice is usually destruction. Yeah. Yeah. What can I totally destroy in this cloud area? So yeah, tuck stands up from his like brawl with VATM. He rips his amulet off and crushes it. This is the sacrifice. Cause it's like, he's, he's kind of overpowered FATM and it was FATM that like threw away his amulet.

Originally it's sort of like letting go of like the lie that he was still connected to his past and he like tosses the bits down at FATM and he starts running at the bank of bug. And like it's that Hulk run where it's like slow at first and then he picks up speed and then he starts to commune with TLC and here's the role. Oh God. Uh, six plus wisdom. Oh, Holy shit. Whoa. Uh, plus wisdom is zero. So that's 11 still. Yeah.

And it's like, as like literally the second he hits the bank of fog, his vision changes to like that, like spirit vision that like TLC gave him on the deck of the purifier. Yeah. Sick. So you can still feel and see the fog as you run into it, but it doesn't obscure your vision, which is a very strange feeling because you're looking through it, but you're looking through it and you see the torch tattered robe struggling back body, like locking up in this paralytic poison.

He's like almost thrashing his body's like intermittently lighting on fire. He's coughing up flame as his body tries to purge it of this venom. So I forced the spirit energy into the torch and I want to see, uh, like do the same thing where I want to see the man inside. Mm. Hmm. You see the thing that you see before you, this thrashing man covered in flame, but no fire. He's just a old man and he is in extreme pain.

The bursts of flame that he was letting off, uh, have started to burn away the fog and you see on either side of you, Ving and thing, but, but we high five above your head, but through your spirit site, lent to you by Larry, Terry and Chad, you see little Billy inside this Ving body to your left pillow and your friend Ving on the right. And I see like burns on Billy's neck. Yeah. You see like a, like seared handprint around his little throat. Like in home alone one. Yeah.

He's got the, he's got the M of the McAllister doorknob burned his throat chakra. McCall. Exactly. Um, yeah. And you see this old man thrashing in front of you. Yeah. In extreme pain. Oh wait, do I see the demon? Oh yeah. Sorry. I'm trying to figure, okay, what does a demon of zealotry look like? The two demonic forms that we've seen are the truth demon, which reflects your own personal truth. And then mercy. Yeah. Who was also a, like a humanoid form.

I don't know if zealotry is going to necessarily have a humanoid representation. It's a fire. I was thinking, or something flame like. Yep. Fire, like clouds of words. Like music. Like it's, it's like sensations. Like you can hear hymns and chance, like overlapping tiny tasteless cakes. Little crackers. Maybe like, it's like, it's picking up the beliefs of everyone in the area. And like you're hearing and seeing and tasting representations of them.

It's like, like you said, this floating cloud, but like very similar to the truth demon where it was like your personal truth. Hmm. Has an influence on it. Like the people that are seeing it have an effect. So Tuck has a different idea. Yeah. Billy sees a different thing. Yeah. That would make a lot. Yeah. Can we maybe do a quick sort of truth demon thing where you each say what you see? Yeah, sure. Okay. So Tuck, I see Billy and Bing. Oh, interesting.

I see the scene in hither and yon where it was chimes, Billy, Ving and mirrors and tuck. Oh, cool. Like eating stew and joking around. That's the thing that he sees. Is this the thing that would whip up a fervent zealotry in him? Yeah. It's this thing that he would tear the world down for. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. What does Ving see? Hmm. Ving sees a multifaceted chimera. Ooh. Like just almost like every living creature together in one being. Cool. And there's some little sprigs of it. Yeah.

And there's some little sprigs of trees and moss and things, flowers, lily pad feet. Wow. What does Billy see? Billy's kind of like somewhat close to nature dim. So I don't know if he'd really see anything. Yeah. I see fire, I guess. Like kind of like where is all the tree might have come from. Like one of its like more earlier forms. Oh, like primordial religion where people like in the early days they worshiped the fire.

They worship fire and eventually like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and eventually like consuming what was given to it or what it could find wasn't enough. So it began hunting. Totally. That's awesome. And under, underneath all these overlays of the iconic form that you're seeing. Yeah. It's a struggling old man. He's been separated from this iconic form and his body is in shock. Is there a way that I can. Grab the demon with the rope.

Oh yeah. Yeah. I think so. Ash four with my saffron rope and try and at least tie the chimera down. Yeah. So 2d6 plus dexterity, I guess. Should I elementary master a horse out of steam and then go in like a cowboy? I mean, yeah, that's an option. Oh, there's a firebird. Yeah. I was wondering. I was thinking that, yeah, the bird goes up in the… I mean, I can't tell you what this bird does because you have control of it. No, no, no. Dude, describe it. Yeah.

I mean, I just wanted Cloudpiercer to come back in this moment, but he's not there physically because I don't have control over him, but I'm still connected to him spirit wise. Yeah. I don't think that you… I don't think it's a… Him. You don't have the animal companion move or whatever. It's still functionally the same thing. Cool. He's coming to you because he considers you as having called him. So I even like the idea of you're in this cloud of fog.

I'm in this cloud of fog and I'm running towards this chimera as much as I can, fast as I can. It seems to be getting… Like… I'm not getting any closer. Yeah. I feel this rush of wind pushing from behind me as I'm lifted off the ground and there's Cloudpiercer spiritual embodiment underneath me, picking me up and zooming me towards him as I lasso cowboy style this chimera demon. Fuck yeah. Great. What would you say lasso is? Dexterity? Yeah. Ten. There we go. Ten. Yahoo! And what is…

What does Cloudpiercer's spirit form look like? Is it the firebird? Yeah. It's a firebird. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Fire and lightning. You know, like when a horrible volcano goes off and then there's lightning coming out of fire? Yeah. It is terrifyingly that. Fucking sick. Fucking cool. So yeah, this like firebird that you summoned earlier is melding with the spiritual essence of your thunderbird friend. Yeah. My spirit animal. Cool. Cool.

And the saffron rubbed rope whips out in front of you, wraps around the body. You have this old man and latches tight. So would this keep the demon from getting back in? That's what I was thinking. Yeah. I think it might be because he was separated since the influence was disrupted. I think it locks it in that disrupted form. Okay. Oh, that would make sense. Sick. Like it's not fully latched on to this man's body anymore. Being tied up the man. Yeah. So the demon can't get back in there now.

Right. But it's not like out yet. It's kind of like wavering. It's like hanging on the edge, right? Like it's just outside. So yeah, the rope cinches tight around this man's arms. Yes. And then Ving jumps off and stabs the spear in the ground behind him. Like he's holding him like tethered to the ground. Yeah. Stuck in the ground. Cool. He is wavering there on his own two feet for a second. And then he just falls to his knees in the water and the fog dissipates.

And you just see the town square of Elaine Springs clearly. Water still rushing. But this old man defeated in the currents. Billy, do you think your illusion is still holding? No, I'm done. Okay. So are the light guard warriors just looking like themselves again? Yeah. Because I think commuting with the demon took a lot of below and he just can't hold both illusions. Yeah, that totally makes sense.

So what you see if you glance behind you to where the other warriors were like, oh, I wonder if they're still doing it. Is you see them all splayed out in the water like somehow. Half up, half out, some fully underneath. And Fatim pouring blood from his face like panting over top of them. Oh, wow. He fucking killed them because they look like Vang. He came out of the water. He didn't see Tuck, but he saw a bunch of things. Oh, my God. You don't know if they're dead because he's unarmed.

Oh, right. But they're fucked up. Whoa. Mangled. And Fatim's on his last legs, too. Like he looks like he's barely standing. I think I would like. To go up to Fatim. And I guess I'm just going to like take his hand and put him to sleep. I'm going to use my fairy dust. Yeah. To make him fall asleep. Because I feel. Yeah. Billy feels really bad for Fatim. Yeah. I think he's in like fight or flight mode, which for him is fight mode. But as you approach him, he's doing that.

Like his breathing picks up and he looks like he's not sure what to do. And he's not speaking. He's just like deliriously angry. So fairy dust. Roll plus charisma. To put people to sleep on a 10 plus. Choose two on a seven to nine. Choose one. Please. Oh, so that's nine plus two is 11. Okay. Amazing. So on a 10 plus. Choose two of these three. It affects a group of people. They stay asleep for a good amount of time. Or you can do it from a distance. Oh, I. Well, I've already walked up to him.

So yeah. Choose the first two. So he stays asleep for a while. What if there is a group of the emulator still fighting? If you have the power to just shut the war down. This battle. Yeah. I think I might try that. Yeah. I mean, not all of them. Yeah. We said it was like six-ish people was a group. But if it was. Shut down six emulators? Emulators. Shut down all your Game Boy emulators, everybody. Super Nintendo emulators. We can't play Paperboy right now. So yeah.

This little boy is bobbing along in the water. Kind of moon hopping with the depth of the water around you. And yeah. You take Fatim's hand and he flinches for a second. When you grab him. And then he just huffs out this huge breath and sits down on a box and leans against the wall of the building that he's next to and falls asleep. I pat his hair. And you see like an emulator at the mouth of some alley fighting somebody. You raise your hand up to them.

They fall asleep and you put out the most dangerous people that you can see in this group. And the fighting is starting to quiet down, at least in the town proper. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. You've got this old man. Yeah. You've got this old man. Yeah. You've got this old man. Yeah. You've got this old man. Yeah. You've got this old man. Yeah. You've got this old man. Yeah. You've got this old man. On his knees. Tied up. What do you do? We don't. This is kind of above our pay grade. Yeah. What to do?

Do we take them back to the library? I think we have to. I think we should see if we can take the injured too. If like the librarians can help carry people. Yeah. So Tuck picks up Fatim to take him back to the library. He feels pretty bad about what he did. Ving, something I will say is the town is still kind of flooding. Like this spring is overflowing. It's still overflowing. Yeah. Like it's a river that's been rerouted. Yeah. Okay. I would like to try to commune with the water to go back.

All right. Elemental mastery. Is 10. Oh, fuck. Okay. Sick. On a 10 plus you choose two. So I will choose the effect comes to pass and I retain control. Which means that you pay nature's price. I pay nature's price. Okay. What does this look like? It's like Billy puts everyone to sleep and starts shutting it down. And there's men like struggling who can't stand up and they're gurgling and drowning and all this water and being just quietly like, let's have a big, huge breath.

And then breathe in really deep. And all the water starts flooding in from the sides of town and going back into the oasis. Wow. And leaves behind muck and people. Yeah. They're dead soldiers are on the surface. And they're like, settling onto the, under the, into the mud. Yeah. Yeah. There's definitely some dead bodies revealed by the, the water receding into the oasis. Jesus. And you hear like a whispered muttering coming from the torch McCall. Uh, I get close.

It's in, it's in like old McCallan. Wow. I listen. I think I can use Bart, Bartek expert. Oh, that would apply. I think. Uh, well, okay. So there are two things. And I'll say, as you're picking up dice, it's not a movie that you need to roll for. And it's the thing where you just ask questions when presented with a thing that is connected to your topics. Okay. So you can just listen with your ears. Okay. I use Bartek expert to listen with my Bartek ears. I use Bartek ears. Can I use Bartek ears?

Um, and you listen close and you hear this like breath rattle out of him. And he says, help me. And I think that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master. Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always has been playing Ving, the half elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. Playing Tacoma dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long. And playing fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica tie. Bye everyone. Thanks to Aaron Reed for our incredible intro and outro music.

Thank you to all of our dear supporters, the world round for supporting us online at Spout Lore, most places, including patrion.com slash Spout Lore, where you can gain access to all of our Spout Lore. And you can also find us on our website, Spout Lore, access to bonus content, side games, including spelt more Mall Brats, video content, video content. We do streams on the discord, which you can join in the show notes. There's a link in there. Outtakes intakes. You could get merch.

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For times of rest in. Rivalry. And though our journey. May be. Lying. A conclusion. We will not leave you. Without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you. I'd gladly. Spelt. More.

Spout Lore is made possible by contributions from our listeners. If you would like to support us, go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore, where you can get extra bonus special content. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. It was a hectic episode. Flaming barrels arcing over the city, Ving calling upon the water of the oasis to put the barrels out, turning them into harmless 50-pound barrels of fuel. Oh yeah, we didn't really hear about them landing on anyone, those poor bastards.

Yeah, well, because I mean, people were mostly crushed by an enormous wall of water as the underwater river that feeds the spring was redirected and began flooding the town. So, you know, out of the frying pan, into the flood, I guess. And with that, the battle began. Ving fighting the Torch of McCall, Billy being carried away on a river. Yeah, fighting water, I guess. Just chilling, yeah. Yeah, he was just tubing. He was kind of… He was just tubing. Yeah, he was just tubing.

Tubing through the town, and Tuck fighting his erstwhile rival, Fatim of the Lightguard. Drowning each other, and ourselves. Yeah. Billy, ran into a group of Lightguard while vibing out, and was carried on the current back into the square, while also creating an illusion that turned every member of that group into a copy of Ving, as well as Billy into a copy of Ving himself. Yeah, whoops, but not bad, because in doing so, I was able to fight the Torch and see the demon for what it was. Nice.

While also having a flashback to the War of Winter. Yeah, realizing I've fought basically this before. Mm-hmm. Pretty cool. Yeah. Tuck and Fatim struggled in the water for quite a long while. Mm-hmm. Ving did some Jackie Chan drunken master wine drinking to make sure that he wasn't killed outright. Mm-hmm.

And everything ended when Tacoma Dome used the power of Terry, Larry, and Chad to see through his spirit, very vibrational sense like he did on the Purifier all those months ago, to see the true form of Ama Margani within, the truth demon, sacrificing his locket, his most prized possession. Yeah. The only thing he's had for his whole life, kind of. Mm-hmm. Man. But also letting go of a lie, too. Yeah. The lie that he tells himself about who he is.

This identity that he's clung to all these years? Yeah. Yeah. Separating the iconic form of zealotry from the body of the Torch of McCall, whoever he was before, Mm-hmm. And allowing Ving the opportunity to bind him in a saffron-smudged rope, utilizing the power of Cloudpiercer's spiritual form to do so. Mm-hmm. So cool. Yeah. And Billy put Fatim to sleep with his fairy dust and a few other key immolators to calm down fighting in this area, and Ving commanded the water back into the spring.

I didn't pay nature's price yet. Yes, you have not yet. Mm-hmm. And the last thing that we heard was the Torch of McCall whisper the words, Help me. And that is where we find ourselves now. The thing that we would do is take him back to the library. Yeah. But there is still a war going on, or a battle, at least, I mean. Yeah, you hear the sounds of spread-out fighting throughout the town. There are people that are fleeing, but there's the clash of blade on blade, there's shouts.

Is Farrah nearby? She's presumably somewhere. Like, you didn't see her when the fighting started. Yeah. Maybe we take him back the way we came in through the… Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fabric shop. Yeah, that sounds good. I'll grab Fatim if you want to grab the Torch. Got the Torch, yes. And I will… I will lead the way. And I am also there.

Can we stop at the fabric shop and make some silly costumes for these guys for when they wake up? They're like, what? Why am I wearing a tutu? Like, I love what you're thinking, but I think maybe another time. Yeah. That's why you're the leader, Billy. Lead away. Does the fucking Torch have a… Oh, that was something. …sliced neck? Oh, shit, he does. That was a thing.

I think it's the sort of thing where, like, because it wasn't enough damage to, like, kill him straight up, it's like it didn't get him straight on in his esophagus, but he's still bleeding. Yeah. Maybe I just missed all the, like, vital zone. Vital zone stuff. Yeah. And, like, fucking Fatim has, like, a gash along the side of his face because Tuck punched him with the crystal spike. And Billy has a burnt hand. Oh, who cares? Crushed whip pipe. And as you're…

Yeah, you, like, you walk down that side street and drag them into the fabric shop, and you see, like, a couple streets down, a group of librarians, like, chasing some light guard down another street. Mm-hmm. You see, at the end of this street, the edge of town, a fucking huge sandworm, like, as tall as a horse with a member of the light guard on the back of it, like, rip down the street. Oh, Jesus. Crash through the side of a building and go somewhere else.

Yeah, maybe we're, like, dragging them in and we, like, clock a sandworm coming down the street, and we're like, get the fuck into the fucking store right now! Oh, my God. It's, like, everything isn't as organized as it was going to be, but still, every once in a while, a huge, like, fucking ballista bolt arcs overhead and smashes into a building and blows up. Yeah, we're still in a war zone. Yeah. So then, maybe we… Do we have to, like, do a defy danger to escape, maybe?

I think, yeah, just so you're not, like, drawing too much of a threat after you. So somebody roll a defy danger. The leader. Billy's leading the way. Billy's leading the way. That's a good point. You called it. Oh, no. Give me defy danger wisdom. Oh. Oh, shit. Well, that counts. That one counts. That one counts. That one counts, too! Ten! Oh, wait, no. Way bigger. Twelve! Wow. Beautiful. That's our leader. Wow. Okay, I do such a good job.

I'm like, I remember where everything is because I took the river, like, you know, water slide. Right. Don't worry. I know where we're going. I know a shortcut. Move out of the way. There's a sandworm coming. So casual. So casual. Yeah. We are freaking out. Yeah. Billy's just walking and he holds up his hand. Hold on. And then a sandworm crashes through the building next to you and dives underground. I'm like, it's chill. We're here now. Now we can go. Yeah.

So you run into the fabric shop to the secret entrance that's behind, like, one of those folding screens where people get changed behind and something right away that you're like, oh, is there's a lot of residual water like running down the staircase. Oh. Is that the way we came in? Yeah. This is the way that you got up. So like, there's still water kind of pooled on the ground. Like, Ving didn't pull up every like drip drop, but it suggests to you that maybe some water got into the library.

Oh, fuck. Should I like, look ahead or whatever? Oh, yeah, totally. Okay. Trap expert. The stairs. It's a six because it's plus dexterity. Okay. Ving wants to aid. Sure. And I, you know, talk to water and say, what's up? What's going on down there? Nine. Great. So that makes it a seven, which means you get one hold from a trap expert. Is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? Yes, there is a trap here. And the trap is you get a few more meters down this staircase.

It's like a winding stone staircase and you hit water. Oh, yeah. Like this section of this staircase has been flooded. Can I flush it more? Yeah. Totally. Mental master. Oh, God, I'm open myself up to, I still haven't paid nature's price from last time, but here we go. This is nature's price. This is nature's price. Oh, the flooding? Yeah, the flooding of this part of the library is nature's price. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I need to, we need to get down here.

So I'll just, I'll try and create, um, uh, nope, that's too dangerous. Just trying to get it out. Water go away. Oh, there you go. Shit. All right. So that's, you pick two. The effect I want comes to pass, which is creating a vortex that goes out to the side of the stairwell so we can go down the middle. So there's like, yeah, moving water on all sides of us and I will retain control. All right. Pay nature's price. So I start doing this like Qigong, uh, whirling. Whoa, whoa.

Oh, and you're doing it like as you go down the stairs, like whipping it around. Holding one hand and going down and the other hand is floating across the top of it in a circle pushing down. The water is like pushing out and up. Yeah, it's kind of filling in above us. There's like this, like this suspended vortex. In the water as we're going down. Cool. So sick. So that's, yeah, this could fall on us in a minute.

So no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't give it any ideas. Water's like, I could fall on you right now. Are you very careful? I'm going to get you. I'm always careful with you. Water. You're good. Cause I'm saying everybody's like fires the most dangerous, but look out for me. That's right. This water's lame. He seems drunk He's got wet brain. Yeah. Great. So you get down the staircase into the library. Okay.

So Ving is very carefully trying to keep this water from pounding down on you, but you find the end of the water. Thankfully, unthankfully, it ends at an almost solid wall of what looks to be like spongy waterlogged cork. Oh no. Oh no. I mean, can we just smash through it? I mean, you can't cause you have a vortex of water over your head. Is it, is the whole wall cork or is any of it stone?

It's like the staircase is like a, like carved out of the stone of the ground and then it ends at a doorway barely big enough for Chuck to get through. Like you kind of have to duck to get through it, but it's full of cork right now. Basically, this whole, whole doorway is cork. Yeah. And the rest of it is stone. Yeah. Can I smash through the stone with the ax? You could. We're talking about cork here. Is cork really soft? Yeah. I like to call it out of a wine, bottle. Okay.

You know, like cork, like floors. All right. I'll smash the cork door with that. A Birkenstock? Birkenstocks are made of cork? Yeah. Okay. A little bit. It's very form fitting. Chuck's like, oh no, cork. Yeah. I got to smash through this rock or we're going to be stuck forever. Chuck has never drank wine. Okay. You have magic wine in your bag. He didn't drink any of it. It's a screw top. Yeah. Leave it to Dan to make it a fucking screw top. That's a great point. Yeah. Okay.

So let me, let me just like throw my weight against it then to try and like push it through so we can, we can seal it back up behind us. All right. Defy danger strength. Seven. Chuck was almost thwarted by a door made of cork. I slip a disc. I got really fucked up in the fight with Phantom. Yeah, that's true.

I am actually comfortable making, like giving you a debility and strength because, it's that kind of thing where Chuck's like, I got to smash down a wooden door and then he just plows through it and lands on the ground fucking up his spine. All right, guys, I took care of the door so we're all good to go. Why are you talking like that? It hurt my knee. And you come out into one of the side passages that's still considered a part of like the stacks of the library.

So there's shut shut, shutters on all the ironwood shelves in this section. The lights are still on, but less lights than normal, sort of like an emergency lights kind of situation. And as you crash through, you hear a bunch of footsteps like pounding across the walkways. It's just librarians. Oh, okay. They're like, who the fuck is that? And they all like skid to a halt. Fists held high, martial arts ready to go. Whoa, it's just us. They all relax. Okay. Have you seen Perel or Farrah? Who?

Oh, no, Farrah, we know Farrah. Oh. Who is the first voice? Perel, the bald wizard man with the like, the cargo shorts. Oh. And he loves his, he has a collection of mustaches. Yeah, he has, what else? Oh, a lot of hats. He's got Crocs. He's wearing Crocs most of the time. You don't know him, but he's annoyed you. Yes, he has. You must come quickly. There has been a breach. They got in? A few, yes. Fuck. We have the heads of the army. We've cut off the head of the snake.

What should we do with them? We will take them. We will ensure they remain secure. Go. Okay. Should we have wine on the way there? Yeah. We pop a cork of wine and start drinking. We're like, take us to where you need us. Yeah. Oh, that was great. That was really good. One of the, there's like five of them. Two of them grab the torch and fat him and then the other three run with you. And we're chugging bottles of wine. One of the other guys unscrews the bottom of his sword. Like, what?

It is five o'clock. Somewhere. We're drinking, baby. We're in Rome. No, no, no, no. His is not a potion. No, no. It's tequila. So he's just getting fucked up. That guy. That guy. Yeah. He's under a lot of stress. Like, he's got a mortgage and stuff. Yeah. The mortgage is what's stressing him out in this situation for sure. That's the main stress. The war has just put him over the edge. He got his mortgage from his wife who they're getting divorced. Oh, man. Great.

So how much wine do you all drink? Um, I drink half. Okay, so ten. To go back to 21. Cool. I drink one full one to get back to 22. Roll a defied injured constitution, please. I was at 12. Yeah. Damn, dude. Uh, ten. Okay. You're not drunk. I am nicely buzzed. Yeah. Bing is also nicely buzzed because he just drank half a bottle of wine earlier. Earlier, right. Yeah. I'm good. And Billy's I feel like Billy's size suggests he might need to roll a defied injured constitution.

Oh, hey, even half a bottle is way too much. Oh, it's so much. Fuck, Billy's so drunk. Yeah, I got five. So I like, I put the wine away and then I immediately run into a bookshelf. Oh, no, Billy. Billy starts trying to fight the books on the lowest shelf. Come here. I'm like, whoa, came out of nowhere. Just stabbing a book. Yeah.

I like, I like the idea that Billy drinks this bottle runs into a bookshelf as he's putting the wine in his back in his bag and just drops it on the ground and it shatters. So unfortunately, Billy loses the remaining health potion that he had. Oh, that's so funny. And you are fucking blitzed. I'm going to get that bookcase later, though. You memorize the section. I'm coming for you. As we're Gruber aisle five, 200 feet from the course. Work door left hand side of the tunnel adventure fiction.

M as we're dragging him away. He's doing the like pointing at his eyes, pointing at the bookshelf like the bookshelf is looking at him. Oh my God. So funny. And they lead you through the stacks through a couple of the anthill like tunnels and sections to the atrium, like the bottom floor with all the desks that you were studying at before the battle.

I think I remember describing it as like kind of a beehive shape, where it's like really wide at the bottom, but then it goes to kind of a point at the top. Totally. And there, there's a quite a lot of fighting happening in here. There's enough that you see a bunch of librarians, people that would be high enough to be speakers of the silent word tussling with some light guard. And then you see the immolator that you saw upstairs with the two swords fucking mixing it up down here. Whoa.

So there's an immolator. There's a bunch of light guard and librarians fighting and you see Perel in the atrium. Just fucking dodging out of the way, like trying to like put, he's like, he's being chased by a member of the light guard and he gets like behind a table and just pushes the table at the guy. He's trying to keep him away. Perel has found his equal in the light guard and they're just like around the table, around the table.

And the light guard member keeps like swinging their sword like over the table, just hacking into the wood, trying to get him. And there's so much shouting. What do you do? And Tuck, as soon as we get in there and I see the light guard, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, dibs. And he pushes Bing and Billy out of the way. Such a glory hug. And then I turn back. I'm like, you got to fight the fucking torch of McCall. What are you talking about? And so did Billy. What the fuck?

I had to fight stupid phantom. Billy gets catapulted towards Perel. So I guess I'm going to join in. Yeah. When Tuck goes dibs, he accidentally just punts Billy. And he goes, you better take a picture of me Tuck, Billy. What a bad dad I am sometimes. Oh man. Billy's drunk enough to be like, whoa. Who can say that? Just Billy, arms and legs slayed. And then in the middle, the arc top. Little Billy hiccup. Oh man. Billy is so funny as a prop. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's just a living prop. Yeah.

Uh yeah so Ving what's Ving doing there's a bunch of um speakers of the silent word being cornered by like a larger group of soldiers and Ving's going to protect this or help them they're pretty awesome I think there are two or three speakers like between these two stacks of shelves with the light guard coming at them from either side and the one that you see ahead of you between this group of light guard it's just a blur of fists and three of them drop holy shoot and they step back and center themselves I'm gonna fight with honor to grab some hold for this fight coming up yeah oh yeah plus my con I think sweet ten fuck yeah we can cut to uh I guess Billy getting soccer balled towards Perel can I roll to like knock over the light guard that Perel's fighting yeah totally defy danger strength I guess sure I'll aim myself wow not good so drunk so drunk so fucking drunk um also this is my fault no it's fine I yeah you see you're arcing through the air Billy who can say what the moon goes where the wind blows there we go who can say where the wind blows but not at the light guard yeah you're you see yourself going towards the light guard and you're like oh yeah here I come bitch and then they run out of the way to try and get to Perel and you slam full on into a bookshelf can you roll a d6 for me to two damage I'm like a new I see you game bookshelf we meet again my old adversary uh tuck very good you you run forward through the crowd and you see this emulator as you run towards them they're not as heavily armored as a lot of the other light guard they're wearing like dark dark brown leather that's very form-fitting no helmet just a very lean Macallan man with like a sharp nose and really shortcut thick dark hair and a scar across the bridge of the of his nose wow like a really fat scar like it looks like it's either new or was almost fatal yeah he's blocking blows stepping out of the way maneuvering like pirouetting around each other this person is very graceful and very fast and then just before you get there their spin comes to a stop they swipe out both swords and cut down two people whoa you just killed two fucking people yeah oh my god all right I'm gonna run up to him uh and like again it's kind of like the hulk run all of tux runs are hulk yeah it's like slow but then it's like gaining a lot of speed and momentum and he angles the run so there's a table between him and the immolator as he's running he like knees up the table like he hits the table with his knee so it like flies forward at the immolator and then he like jumps and punches through the table to hit the immolator how and can I do a war cry as I'm doing this when you enter a battle with a show of force yeah it's just not going to do like direct damage right away totally yeah war cry war cry that's nine okay seven to nine on war cry what is that on a seven to nine one or the other your allies are rallied and take plus one forward or your enemies feel fear and act accordingly avoiding you hiding attacking with fear driven abandon um I think I was a bit like my allies to take a plus one forward yeah because a bunch of the light guards see tuck do this and go oh fuck yeah uh-oh and I think it makes sense that they get freaked out but the immolator doesn't because he's like a hardened like yeah yeah yeah the chunks of the table that you punch like you shatter this table sending it at the immolator and he turns aside a bunch of the chunks with his swords like it's just like clang clang clang clang clang and he's standing there swords out of the side whoa Ready for you.

Ving. There's three guys. Yeah. I'm going to run up the bookshelf and throw clay from my bandolier in all three of these guys' faces. And then I want to use elemental mastery to bake that clay onto their face. They can't take it off. All right. 2d6 plus constitution. I got 10 plus my one from Tuck is 11. Beautiful. So you've paid nature's price twice since you paid it the first time. A lot of you're pretty in debt to nature at this point. Nature is expensive.

I mean, maybe the price that Ving has paid himself is kind of guilt. Because when you bake clay onto the faces of these people, you can hear them screaming underneath the clay. And it like immortalizes their distorted screaming face into these awful death masks. Yeah. And I say, whoops. Yeah. Like the three people that you put the clay. Masks on and burned like they stumble back and land on the ground with these like rictus grins baked into the clay terror. God. Terror. Yeah. Pretty good.

So yeah, that's the prices. You did this and you're feeling maybe a little unsure about that action. And the speaker behind you start saying thank you. And then seize the faces of the men that you took down and you can see fear in her eyes. And then seize the faces of the men that you took down and you can see fear in her eyes. And then seize the faces of the men that you took down and you can see fear in her eyes.

And then seize the faces of the men that you took down and you can see fear in her eyes. Billy, you slammed into a bookshelf again. Perel still being chased around a table. You're fucking fighting a bookshelf. Perel's now gotten to the point where he's like got chairs. He's holding chairs and he's like kind of throwing them a little bit. Just trying to keep space between him and the light guard. What do you do? Well, I got bored with the bookshelf because it wasn't fighting back.

And I've just made a bit of a mess. Anyway, I turn around because like Perel's doing this thing with chairs. I'm like, oh man. He. He looks stressed. And I'm like, oh no, that's not good. Who's this guy bullying Perel? He looks like one of those jerks upstairs. And so I'm going to use backstab to knife him in the leg. I'm like, how dare you bully my friend? That's perfect. So 2d6 plus dexterity. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Nine. All right. Oh, plus one from ally. So that's a 10. Hell yeah. Yes. Yeah. Woo.

So what's a 10 plus on backstab? Oh, I get it right in the calf and it's he totally falls over. He cannot fight anymore. And then once once he hits the ground, I berate him. The dude drops his sword or whatever. I'm like, why pick on someone your own size? Okay. Okay. Jessica. Yeah. The reason I'm asking is because now you have to choose things from the list. What things? Oh, sorry. You deal your damage. So all your damage. Yeah. Which is a D eight. Four.

And then you get to choose two from the list. All right. So I don't get into a fight with them. And also I'm going to create an advantage for an ally. Yeah. So I give the advantage to Perel. Okay. So Billy runs up, stabs this light guard member in the leg. While they're trying to catch Perel and they scream because they just got stabbed in the calf by this little kid. And Perel runs around because he sees you for the first time. He's like, Billy. Yeah.

And he runs around to that side and the light guard member sees parole running at them and shouts out and swings the sword at Perel. And you know, the like punch moves that you saw Perel doing during his practice. Yeah. And his like they were doing this little like jazz hands in an arc. This like kind of sunshine thing. They swing the sword at Perel.

Perel steps forward, starts doing that little hand twiggle, grabs the wrist, grabs them under the armpit and throws the light guard member over his shoulder. Oh, wow. Sick. And they slam onto the ground and they're knocked out cold. Wow. So sick. And Perel's standing there for a second. And then he turns to you, Billy. He goes, did you see what I did? I did. I'm really impressed. Ving would be so proud of you. I feel so powerful. All right, man. Go use that in another fight.

Perel puts on a pretty thick mustache when he says he feels so powerful. A handlebar goes all the way down to his chin. Billy, what do we do? Let's go help Tuck over there. Are you OK? Fine. What? Nothing. Maybe we should hang back a little bit. You can hang back. Bye. Bye. Billy. Wait. And you're gone. Tuck. Yeah. So I'm fighting the immolator, right? Yeah. I want to just like hack it slash attack. Great. With the axe. Nine. Cool. Roll your damage. Nine. Oh, God. Tuck is so strong.

Such a strong guy. You just swing your axe wildly at this guy. Yeah. And you slice him across like his stomach. He thought that he was able to dodge away from that. And then you catch him. And he doesn't make any sound. But you see him grit his teeth. And then he flicks a couple switches on his swords. And they. Oh, fuck. Fire licks along the length of them. And he does a couple spins to try and disorient you and brings both swords at you. Cutting you across like the arm and the chest.

With his burning blades. Fuck. And you take seven points of damage. Can I? I'm going to use one of my chi to block a blow. Moment for someone. Can I do that? Yeah. And take half the damage. Whoa. I think you might need to do at least one more to cross a distance to an enemy or whatever. Because they're kind of far away from you. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I unused two chi. That's awesome. Sweet. So he's like, tuck. Because he heard that woof. And he's all freaked out about fire.

He's got a little fire thing. Yeah. I'm going to cross the distance and then take tuck's hit for half the damage. So 3.5. So how do you block it? I'm going to just kneel. Like a kneeling. And then Ving in front of him kind of slide in with the spear above his head. Hell yeah. Yeah. Tuck was kind of throwing up balance. So he couldn't like defend himself against the attack. Yeah. I guess you went in so hack and slashing. Yeah.

The immolator jumps away now that Ving has entered this fight and sees Billy running at him, I guess. Is Billy trying to join Tuck and Ving? Yeah, definitely. So he steps back, sees the two of you and is like, whoa, this is a problem. And then sees Billy. And smiles a little bit. Points his sword at Billy. Presses another button. And a gout of burning liquid fires out of the tip of his sword. Billy! And yeah, Billy, you have a torrent of flame careening towards you. What do you do?

I do a sick roll. Hold on. I do it. I see the fire coming because I'm like kind of still drunk. It's like slow-mo. I'm like, I got this. Because he's also so confident. This is what drunk does to Jessica. Yeah. Yeah. So Billy does a front roll. So that basically the butter moth silk cloak will take the brunt of the fire. Sick. Sick. I'm going to dodge that flame throw. Defy danger dexterity. Please. Seven. Roll a D8 twice. Sure. Six. Six. Eight. Eight. Eight.

Because of your butter moth silk cape, you're taking the six. Not the eight. Oh, thank you. Merciful Lord. So Billy runs forward, sees the fire coming at him in slow motion and goes, does a really slow kid somersault in his head. But I mean, to any outside observer, he's moving quick as like an animal, right? Like it's like, but in this set, he's like, here we go. And the fire passes over you, but it singes you a little bit. Yeah. You don't take the full brunt, but still six damage.

Like that's a lot. Bad luck rolling that high on both of them. Like it hits my face, which is already very rosacea. You know, I'm like, oh, but you come out of it and you're safe. He's running, but his hair is on fire a little bit. You can't tell though, because it's red enough. But you're like, is that a fire? He's the torch. He's the Olympic torch. He's the torch. Cut back to Ving Tuck and the immolator.

When he puts his arm out to shoot fire at Bilbo, I want to take my spear and try and go into that armpit area. Oh, fuck. That nerve flex is in there. You use that opening? Yeah. Good idea. I have one more chi. Deal my damage. Oh. Great. Oh, hell yeah. So. Four. All right. He points that arm out to fire that stream of fire at Billy. It's definitely that opening where you're like, oh, bad move. Dude.

And you just dart forward, jab the spear up under his arm, and he grimaces again, makes no noise, but he's starting to get desperate. Uh-huh. So the spear went into the one arm nerve plexus. It's still in there. Yeah. And so what Tuck does is he takes his butter moth silk cloak and wraps it around the other sword. Oh. That's so cool. Yeah, and to put it out. And then he wants to punch him in the stomach after that. That's awesome. Defy danger, dexterity. Like a matador. Four. Seven. And then.

Yeah, then you do the hack and slash. Nine. Okay. So the seven to nine on the defy danger dexterity is you, yeah, you run forward with the cloak in your hand, wrap it around the sword. A little bit of smoke puffs out as you put the flames on the blade out, and the tip of the sword pokes through the cape and just tears it. So this is not wearable anymore. Oh, no. Oh. And you punch him in the gut. Deal your damage. You never take care of the things I get you. Two. Okay. Two.

Not the best, but enough that he lifts up a little bit off the ground and he threw the butter moth silk, just swipes at you with the regular blade. Roll a D8. Twice. Six. And what was that? Two. So the six, unfortunately. Yeah. And he's able to swipe you up the thigh with his sword stabbing through the butter moth silk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He like shakes off after he gets a little bit clear. Billy, you see your dad's full on melee.

You just did a sick somersault. You're feeling more powerful than you've ever felt in your life. Yes. What do you do? So I'm going to, yeah, I'll do backstab using the poison knife to paralyze him at the very least. I'm going to climb up him though. Oh, no. That's so scary. Up his back. Yes. Yeah. Defy danger dexterity. Ten. Okay. Oof. Oof. So again, you deal your damage. You get all those choices. One. One? Are you kidding me? He's actually healed for 12 damage. Wow. No. Bullshit.

Pick your other two options from backstab. Okay. So backstab. I'm going to deal my damage. Wait. I already did that, right? Yep. But you also get to, one of the options is deal another D6 damage. Okay. I'm going to pick that and then I'm going to also create an inventory. Okay. Okay. So I'm going to take advantage towards an ally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. Oh my God. Another one. Wow. A grand total of two. Fucking sick. But at least he's paralyzed. Yeah.

Billy climbs up his back like a fucking chipmunk, jabs him with a knife. And while it's not instant instant, it's very fast acting. So he's slowing down. His actions aren't as precise as they were. And Ving, you see him. He's slowing down. Can I just take him to the ground? I'm going to clock him as hard as I can. I walk up to him very slowly and then just open fists, slap him. How dare fucking you? How dare you? You're hacking slashing? Yeah. Okay. Eight. Deal your damage. Five. Fuck. Yeah.

Clang. But with the seven to nine, roll a D8 twice. Five. Five. Okay. Nice. Five damage. As. As you walk up, as you said, very slowly, he takes one last swipe at you and nicks you pretty bad in the forearm. Hopefully not enough to kill you, but still hurt. And yeah, you walk up and just slap. You said slap him? Open hand slap him. Yeah. Yeah. You catch him on the hinge of his jaw. Like carry it down to the ground. Like trying to just clang. Smash into the ground. Out cold. Out cold.

Billy's on his back. Crushed underneath. I crawl out from under him. I'm like, that was a nice hip bang. Billy. Yeah. Didn't see you there. Sorry, pal. Don't worry, bud. I feel good. Except my face is burned. Oh, man. And I'm wasted. Tuck takes a roll out of his backpack and gives it to Billy because he's like, we gotta get some fucking food in you, guy. Just to like absorb some of that wine. Wow. I start weeping. Are you? What? Because I haven't seen food in hours. I haven't seen food in hours.

I haven't seen food in hours. I haven't seen food in hours. I was like, what did I say to make you sad? It's the sight of food. It's just relief. And you see the speakers in this room take care of the last couple light guard. You see a couple on their knees holding their swords above their heads, just totally surrendering. And you hear a sound from above, like the walkway that rings the second level of the atrium. You hear a whack. And then. Wah!

As a body comes like back spinning off of the walkway and slams into a table. Jesus! Oh, God. And at the edge of the walkway, you see Farah. And she says, I believe the battle is finished. The library is secure. Come with me. Like us? Yes. You three and him. Billy's like, all six of us? There's like a few people on the atrium. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

She's like, Billy points himself like Farah is talking to me. Yes. I'm talking to you. Us too. And I point at me. Yes. You as well. And him. Which one? This guy? You look behind you and Pharrell is there in his low stance going like doing the punches forward. And. Wait. Did you get the torch and phantom secured? Yes. They are secure.

Your prisoners are secured okay do you know where shia has been this whole time I've I've kind of had that in the back of my head I was wondering as like a loose narrative thread it uh well you know it's funny that you say that considering that you just brought it up um after probably five hours of recording now that I think about it I have no idea cut to the sandworms getting taken out by a giant fucking snake oh yeah a huge snake like jump like arcing over sandworms taking riders out of their saddles uh constricting them cutting them in half like this insane other part of the battle that we're like where's where's shia and billy's just drunk and she's like what the fuck where is everybody else she's basically taking out the sandworms alone yeah that's so cool okay so far I takes you to the sandworms to the gallery above what appears to be the library's infirmary in here there are strips of sunstone along the ceiling and it's nourishing a bunch of medicinal plants that grow in huge bushels cool all over the room and then on the level below you there's a bunch of workspace there's desks and tables rows with vials and jars weird little contraptions that have like mechanical parts and tubes that come out of them what looks like thin little like messes metal pieces that you have no idea what they would be for but we would recognize as syringes obviously okay and on two tables are laid out the torch of mccall unconscious and fathom unconscious oh they've got braziers of saffron like burning in the corners of the room that would make sense they would grow saffron there too yes yeah the sunstone uh-huh totally maybe there's a like a bag of like orange liquid that's like feeding directly into the torch yeah like through his nose like a drip yeah yeah going right into it like his belly because billy discovered that that's a method for suppressing demonic influence totally is feeding them saffron cool so there are people like there are librarians working over the two of them uh-huh and you actually you see shia down there too and she's getting patched up oh like she's alive she's awake thank fuck but she's getting patched up like bandages on her arms like she's just got crazy cuts all over the place and she looks up and sees you it is like hey where the fuck were you where the fuck were you I was fighting the battle so were we which battle the outskirts oh that was you yeah oh did you oh so you guys were okay you didn't get like blown up or anything and then we point at the torch and we're like ving did that tuck did that and billy did both we kind of all did that everything that's a good point actually yeah you two like had your adversaries and billy was like these guys are pussies I'm gonna kick the shit out of both of them yeah uh and she looks at them and looks up at you like nice job well done thank you and then tuck starts doing a slow clap because he he feels like this is the end of the episode talk to us no one else does that no one else does that no one else does that does abdul feel like this is the end of the episode no not even close and then tuck looks down at the fucking nerd doctors and he's like fucking clap shia starts clapping like nice work everyone nice job perel steps forward and is clapping yes I did a great job thank you everyone did a great job everybody did a good job and all the doctors start clapping too yay doctors medicine I love medicine saffron forever hooray hooray the library and this goes on for like 25 minutes oh now we're at the end of the episode every time it slows down tuck's like not enough keep clapping everybody tuck needs like this recognition that he uh bested his bully and he everyone's been saying things like hooray doctors and stuff and he's like been waiting for someone to be like and also tuck stood up to his bully it's not coming out of his mouth it's not coming out of his mouth it's not coming uh great so that goes on for way too long and farah just lets it happen she's you know in her head she's like everybody needs this right now this was a tough day but she gives you sort of a rundown on the situation she tells you that the light guard at least the forces that arrived are in disarray many have fled into the desert we have taken prisoners we've taken we've taken prisoners we've taken prisoners we've taken prisoners we've taken prisoners unfortunately no members of the emulators beside of course their leader and uh the unfortunate fellow in the atrium I confess I am not certain what the next steps are outside of rebuilding without the torches leadership there will be a power vacuum within the light guard and the church itself very likely and if the influence of the presence within him is not going to be a power vacuum him has had the effect that you say it has on the city there is no telling what the lack of that influence will do it'd be a revolution or rebellion yeah oh yeah maybe his zealotry has been keeping sort of the masses like down yeah classified yeah pacified placid yeah you're both right most of the people in mccall are flaccid classified it's called the flaccid jewel of the west the you we look back at the silhouette of the lighthouse and it's drooping oh shit we're fucked now oh no he was the only thing keeping that thing hard um farah does say that she says the library has rebuilt before but there has not been an attack oh god I can't remember how long ago she said it happened but they I don't think they've attacked I think they maybe attacked the library once when she was young, but this is the first time it's happened in a long time.

What happened the last time? They were pushed back and they retained power? We lost some knowledge. We lost some librarians. They lost a number as well, and we rebuilt. That's all there is to do now. What about Third and the rest of the Djinn? Do you know where they are? Third, from what I understand, was not present at the battle, which is unusual, but what you tell me of the battle at the hearth itself suggests that there will be repercussions.

From what I understand, Eighth remains in the upper ward in the city, but that is the only other of the Djinn that we have eyes on. The rest are in the wind. Fuck. Farah, um, can we go down and talk to the torch? You can. However, time is still required to gather strength, and I think that we all need a little bit of rest right now, so give it a day or two and he will be ready to speak. Okay. So, a day and a half passes, basically.

The librarians slowly start reopening the shelves and trying to sort stuff out. Yeah, we've just been chilling at the library. Doing, like, fucking fuck all, I guess. Yeah. Getting a rubdown. Having a spa day. Yeah. Hanging out with Cheyenne Perel. Tuck has, uh, every time someone asks him to help with, like, the arduous task of, like, opening back up the Ironwood shelves, because it's fucking hard. It's just like, fuck, right, yeah, sorry, Farah, I just heard her call me, sorry, I got it.

He doesn't want to help with chores. Also, it's a bookworm, just, so yeah, I gotta go answer. What's that, Oman? Yeah, I'm coming. It's just us avoiding chores for two days. Yeah, I've been hiding under slippers, a lot. Just hang, hang. Like, slippers is, like, sleeping, and then I just, like, she's so fluffy, so, like, whenever a librarian's walking by, I just, like, swoop under a tummy, I'm like, okay, they're gone.

Yeah, and you're hiding under a slipper's tummy one time, and you look up under a table, and there's a massive cobra coiled underneath the table, like, shh. Don't tell them I'm here. And that goes on for a few days. Like, you know, a day and a bit, and the librarians are getting frustrated with you, but also, you did take down the torch of McCall. They can't really fault you too much for that. And you have a few days of rest. It's nice. Yeah.

And sorting has started up and gets moving at a pretty good clip. What are Billy, Tuck, and Ving up to right now, a day and a half after the battle? A day and a half into avoiding our chores? Yeah. We're in the cafeteria, um, in disguise. I am under the table with slippers hiding, because I don't want to be, like, asked to sweep again.

And I stole Louise's big hat, and I stole his hat, I put on his thin pencil mustache, I got a mustache from Perel, and I've been walking around with a big wooden spoon. That's the entirety of the disguise. Uh, Ving's dressed up like, uh, one of the speakers. And he's, like, been trying to hang out and, like, just learn what they know and pick up some of these adding to his cheese secret moves. He's been working out with them and getting all their martial art. Cool.

Uh, and after, like, it starts with Billy. Billy, you're approached by, um, Burke, the dwarven librarian. Uh-huh. And he just sees you, and he goes, ugh, and he walks over and grabs you by the scruff. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come with me. And he goes and he sees Tuck and goes, finally, grabs Tuck, goes this way. Tuck goes, oh, there you are. Mamma mia. Come with me now. There's a linguine stew in the back that I have to get it. No. He's just pushing you. No, stop pushing me, please.

I have to get into the kitchen, please. He's moving implacably forward. I don't want to take the garbage out! No, don't make me! Don't make me mop again! I'm so tired. I don't want to sort any more books. This is stupid and boring. Ving! Ving, help us! Yeah, you guys have been pushed towards Ving, and Ving's like, shh. And then, yeah, we're like, that's Ving. If you're taking us, you have to take him, too. Dammit, I was in disguise. Just a library here, Mitten.

And Burke grabs you also, and he's pushing all three of you and says, we have been searching for you for days. Grandmaster Margani wishes to speak with you. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Probably about the chores, but, you know, whatever. Send her in! Move! Stop speaking, please! Okay, fine. Cease speaking! Okay, we won't talk anymore. I am done. And you're pushed through the library to a small chamber.

For real, though, please tell Louise to take that marinara sauce off the- If you interrupt my train of thought one more time, I am turning this whole podcast around. Nobody gets any narrative gratification. And he pushes you to a small chamber off of the medical theater that you watched them tend to, the Torch and Fatim. And there's a gaggle of scholars and speakers of all levels and ages of experience outside. And Burke pushes- He uses you as a wedge to push you through them into the room.

And sitting inside, it's very nicely appointed. There's a lot of beautiful fabrics, tapestry, trees, a nice little lamp, potted plants, and a table slash inclined bed that's made for, like, convalescing patients. And laying in the bed is the Torch of McCall. And sitting in a chair next to the bed is Ama Margani. Yeah. And they're sharing a pot of tea and speaking pleasantly with each other. There's a real sense of, like, whoa. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe there's, like, there's speakers who are, like, jostling at the door, like, there's people trying to, like, scholars trying to jot things down. Oh, yeah. Because they know this is a big moment. They're like, we have to recall this. Yeah. It's two ancients slash demons talking to each other about their shared history. Wow. Yeah. Like, yeah, people being like, wow, the Torch was alive 400 years ago and Ama was alive a thousand years ago. Yeah. Wow, yeah, that'd be insane.

Yeah, you get to the doorway of the room and there's a bunch of scholars all knotted outside. You're like, get the fuck out of the way, you nerds. Some guy's saying, you fucking nerds. Like, he's stenografying everything. Yeah, and actually, Tuck is probably not present enough to think about this. Billy is always over the place, but Ving, you get this sense that, like, you're walking through history right now. Cool. Like, these are events that people will read about for centuries. Mm-hmm.

And then whatever. And there's different parts. Sandwiches in here. Holy shit. Yeah, Tuck's like, they have, potato salad and party subs. There's a plate full of six-inch party subs. And, yeah, Ama and the Torch see you walk in and they smile. You, even seeing the Torch, based on the times that you've seen him before, there's a huge change in disposition. Almost to the point that this seems like a different man. Weird. Yeah. Cool. I like that. Where's Farah?

Yeah, Burke said that the master librarian wanted to talk to us. And Ama smiles and says, Grandmaster, technically, is my title. Oh. Ama. Oh, so… Whoa. I bow. I slam myself into the ground and I bow. Yeah. And Tuck takes his glasses out of his backpack and puts them on as a sign of respect to the king of all nerds. And he says this out loud. Yeah. Ama laughs. It's both… To these old dudes, it's just like, kids, right? Kids are always dumb. Uh, what…

Your Majesty, what did you want to talk to us about? Your Majesty? Your Majesty of Books. I don't know, guys. No, that's great. The king of all nerds. Sorry, king. Continue. And Ama says, please join us. Really? Like, Billy's so awkward, like, thank you. And I, like, edge around. With your knife. Knife out. Thank you for having us. Yes. There is a real flight or fight instinct in all of us. Yes. Yeah. Ving sticks his hand out to shake the hands. Wow. And they take them very lightly.

They're both very, very old men. The torch, though, because I said he was, like, in his 50s, early 60s maybe he looked like. Now that you touch him, there's this very light sort of tremor in his grip. Yeah, so Tuck's like, alright, uh, torch? Do you want garlic aioli or chipotle aioli? I brought you a small panini. Do you want pepper in your potato salad? He smiles when you say torch and closes his eyes in, like, an embarrassed way almost and says, that is not my name. Torch of McCall.

I'm fucking sorry. The gall of this guy. Please, if you, if you would call me Farhan, it would bring me a great amount of peace. Oh, uh, Farhan, do you want garlic aioli or chipotle aioli? Chipotle, please, thank you. Somebody likes it spicy. And I put a little, a small paper plate down. It's got a little triangular press panini sandwich and a little vat of chipotle aioli. A little vat. And then I scoop the garlic aioli out and I just start sucking it off my finger. Gross.

Yeah, and he takes a little bite of the sandwich and he sips some of the tea and Ama sips some of the tea and he says, I'm sorry, I must. This is important. This tea apparently will aid in the suppressing of the influence within me. I would like to offer my apologies. I have not been myself for a great deal of time. We are also sorry because we stabbed you a lot, Mr. Farhan, and I bow. He's got like a like a patch across his neck. Yeah. I can understand why you would. I I!

Hesitate to say deserved, but the harm that came to me was well earned, let's say. But I would like to thank you as well for doing what you did in freeing me, however temporarily, of that influence. How do you know what they're going to do to you? Like, um, do, can we get rid of this?

It forever the demon if sorry I'm really nervous asking you these questions you're doing great thank you and ama speaks up at this and says um it is unknown whether or not one is able to be permanently free of a demonic influence but they are trying research will continue and uh uh arhan and I will be their most prized subjects what did you want to talk to us about the torch actually speaks up and says I have much work to do in terms of convalescence and reparations but something has troubled my sleep I know what the goal of this demon that was the torch was I I thought it was zealotry I thought he just fed off of off of belief that the goal was the journey towards ultimate worship that's what he said he said it wasn't about winning or losing it was about just doing this yes that is true but the demon of zealotry was but a link in a greater chain that seeks to shackle the world how how what do you know of the dark guard in dark of night I have been lost like many who have come before for I have paid the ear chin toll my soul now on my own I have been lost like many who have come before and so I sing for all who fall on darkened streets in no recall till night abates and shadows flee these words my parting gift to thee you you not words nor coins nor sailors go by passage for the ones who bleed so darkness it has come for me for I am one who no one needs on nights that we sleep on the edge of the sea on nights that we sleep on the edge of the sea the moonlight has withdrawn these words will see you to the dawn till night abates and shadows flee these words my parting gift to thee the shadow fears the nighttime sun the child flees from broken stone the darkness shrinks from tallow's gift and yet I wander all alone this story told for all to hear that I am gone but but always near for though I'm lost I am now home with those who whisper in the gloam oh with voices of the ones who with voices of the ones who with voices of the ones who live this song's my final gift to give to night abates and shadows flee these words my final gift to thee to night abates and shadows flee these words my final gift to thee Thank you.

Hello, listeners. It is me, Sean O'Hara, your game master. And joining me as always, Abdul Aziz. Hi, everybody. Paul Oppers. Hey there, guys. And Jessica Tai. Hi. Sorry, I jumped that. You really jumped the gun. Jessica's really here. This is an exciting time. It's an exciting time, everybody. We're here to make an announcement. There are some changes coming. Good changes. Yes. To our Patreon structure, including some new tiers. Yeah. We've got a new website. Oh, 100%. Wow. And.

And some merch coming your way. Yeah. If you want it. Yes. Spout Lore merchandise for the first time. Which you do. Because I do. Yeah, I do, too. And people have been asking for it for a while. Yeah. And it's all designed by who's that? Yours truly, Abdul Aziz. No one else designed this merch. So when you look at those. Abdul Aziz stole a USB drive from Jessica Tai and has put his name on everything she made. He stole my iPad. I am very sad. I actually saw it happen.

He ran into our into our apartment, pushed Jessica over, said, this is mine now, and then ran out with her iPad. Yeah. I yelled, it belongs in a museum. It belongs in a merch store. With the exact kind of moral defense that Indiana Jones would use. So, yeah. Well, let's talk about some Patreon levels. We are adding a. Discord channel. To the levels that already exist. We're going to say. We're going to say. We're going to say the same, but you get a like you get a discord integration. Yeah.

There's going to be discord available to all Spout Lore listeners. All Spout Lore listeners. With a special Patreon supporters. Patreon. Discord. Channel. Channel. Yes. We'll have announcements for live streams. You can ask. There'll be a lot of Q&A stuff. Yeah. We'll probably run live streams through the supporters channel. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. And that'll be at the ten dollar level that you get that. And you also get a bunch of. Video content at the ten dollar level. Mm hmm.

Which is like a Q&A that we did. A video Q&A. Where the video cuts out at the end. Yeah. Right in my cool story. We fucked it up. Pretty funny. We're going to put in pictures of all of us as kids where the video cuts out. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. We were all so sweaty and tired at that point too. It was such a hot room. It was that like early September during like the smoky heat wave. Yeah. Rough. Across the street from the jail. Jesus. Yeah. That was a weird day. Yeah. Gotta see this gang.

Also some postcards are available at the ten dollar level too. Like quarterly. Each seasonal. Yeah. Right. It's going to be postcards designed. Each season one of us will design a postcard and send it out to everybody. So you get some good ones and then some by Abdul. Guys, I'm going to try so fucking hard and it's going to be trash. No, people are going to love it. Let's be serious. Your drawings are very sweet and full of heart. Yeah. So that. Pointing a picture of a knobby dick.

Dicked with four balls. Two sets of balls. It kind of looks like an X-Wing or like a goose. Yeah. It's disappointing really. Anyways. So at the $25 level. You get some merch. Yes. You get all the other stuff and some merch. Uh-huh. And then what is the next level Abdul? It's $100. Nice. Some would say shooting a bit too high. We'll wait till our next level. Hey John Sparger. But on the other hand. We have a pretty good chance that you feel like giving us $100 a month.

Although there is somebody out there doing that right now. Thank you so much Claire. And honestly we made this level specifically for Claire. Specifically for you. For you. Yeah. But you will every six months or so get a package that is a care package that is put together by the entire cast. That's like some of our favorite things. It's going to like kind of stuff like books, CDs, Paul's. Mason jars. Put a Mason jars full of a bunch of stupid woods shit in there.

Abdul's going to have a bunch of poop in a box for you. Gross. And he's keto. So it's going to be smelly. Let's talk about the kind of stuff we would actually put in the care package to make it appealing. Okay. I'm actually going to put some wood shit in there just so you know. Yeah. My favorite teas. A candle. I like a lot of self-care stuff. Probably some drawings. A book I like. Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm a fucking nerd. It'll probably be a hard copy of an RPG system that I'm a fan of. From me.

Yeah. I forage a lot of medicinal mushrooms. And I've been making cool different stuff. I made a mushroom protein powder and some lion's mane and turkey tail boosters. So some cool forage medicines and teas also I make. So cool. And I'll send you cash. Who's your favorite now? Cold hard cash. Less than you will have donated at the point that you receive the care package. No more. I insist. $900 per care package. Abdul, buy your love. What kind of stuff would you put in Abdul? I love books. Yeah.

I'll put a book in there. I'll put maybe like, I don't know. Some joke stuff. I'll put some stupid shit in there. I'm fucking idiot. You know what would be fun? A USB stick with songs that you like. Oh, yeah. That's a good idea. I'll put a mix CD in there. Cool. Yeah. You're saying a mixtape. Yeah. I'll make a mixtape. I'll make. I don't know. Maybe I'll put my own. Comedy in there. That's what I was going to say. Mixtape with music and some of your sets on it. That'd be fun. Yeah. Yeah.

So after the $100 level, there is. The God of the Flame level. Yeah. Which is $1,000. It's a thousand. We are going to try and add a thousand dollar level. I don't think. It's such a joke. I don't think Patreon is going to let us do it. Oh, no. They do. Watch this. If you do donate, I will come to your house once a year and suck. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no. We already talked about this. That is not allowed or possible or even moral.

But I think the actual idea that we had is Abdul will write and produce a custom album of Spout Lore music. I will do it. I'll make a custom album for you. There's definitely gonna be a song about him coming to your house and sucking your dick. Probably. But yeah, I'll do that like once a year at the $1,000 level. Because that's crazy. Yeah, an album's a lot. Yeah, getting musicians and audio mastering and stuff like that would be crazy. With the wonderful and talented Aaron Reid. Yes.

Yeah, so we can assume that that's a joke. But we'll see. And I will learn to play guitar. I guess I'll learn to play guitar for this. Sean can already play concertina. Yeah, we're all gonna make an appearance on it. Yeah, that'd be fun. Oh, I could play concertina. Miles could play banjo. We could do some maritime music. Mouth harp, I'm there. Yeah, totally. Okay, man, I'm excited about this now. Somebody please donate $1,000 a month for this. Make a boot song.

So we also have a new merch store. We're starting out small. Just a few things that might be fun or cute. I did my best. They're all very fun. She literally did her best. I did my best. Just like things that I thought would be kind of funny or sweet. Hopefully you like them. You can find the link on our new website, speltlore.com. Or you can search us on Redbubble. Which is where we'll be doing that. Yeah, what kind of stuff is in the merch store? Good question. Some tote bags. My favorite.

I love totes. Yeah, tote bags. Some tees. T-shirts. Okay. Oh, some tees. We've got Tenley. We got Red Rose. We got Green. We got Roybus. All right. Some tote bags. Some t-shirts. Pins. Pins. Stickers. Stickers. Yeah. What else? I'm forgetting everything. Tote bags. T-shirts. T-shirts. Stationery, maybe? I think so. Trolls. We're making little trolls of all our characters with fuzzy hair and jewels in their belly. Wow, I wish. Def not that. Def not that. That's a great idea, though.

I think that's it for the time being, though. There might be more. Just go and check it out. Yeah, there will be more. We're just going to start small. But yeah, you can check it out on the website. The link is there. Yeah, and the designs are fucking sick. Yeah. Jessica did a design that's a hot dog festival t-shirt. Yeah. Bud Lark. Hot dog festival. Uh-huh. You are the wapple of my eye. Yeah. And a little wicker, which I really just wanted to draw him. Yeah. So cute. Her. Yeah. Yeah.

You did it without me having to remind you. It doesn't matter. It's wicker in the golden- In the compass roses. In the compass rose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I hope you like those. Yeah. And if you don't, please don't tell me. It's true. If you do, we're going to be mad at you. No. I'll help you. Just sad. I'll be mad at you. You'll be crazy if you don't like these. Yeah. We've also made a new website. Yes. And if you go to that website, you can access the merch with Jessica's artwork on it. Mm-hmm.

There'll be new things like character bios, a bunch of fan art's going to be there too. And also, there's going to be an entire section that's just fan favorite clips. So if you have a friend that you are like, listen to this podcast, but they're kind of reluctant to, what you can do is you can go to the fan favorites section and you can actually just like copy like the link to one of those and send it to someone.

Just pick your favorite one and it'll make it like super easy for you guys to share the podcast. And if you have a favorite moment that you don't see on the website, let us know and we can go through and see if we get enough requests for it, then we'll put up there. Yeah. So that's kind of what we got coming down the pipe and in preparation slash celebration for these big changes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Spell war. We don't like have ads on it or anything. It's like all through donations. And honestly, the best way you could help is like to help other people find us. So what we're going to do is we're going to do a listener drive where it's like just for the next week, if you could like make it a priority to share the podcast with like people who you think would like it with.

And make like review us rate us five stars or higher they do that right yeah if it is if you just rate us five stars and don't even try to go higher that's on you sean's gonna come a house and okay no yeah so you know we've got some shareable fan favorite clips on the new website and just we ask you to tell your friends and maybe send them a clip uh and tweet about the show using the spout more listeners hashtag hashtag spout more listeners you'd really be doing us a favor we love making the show and we want to make it for you for as long as possible yeah we're really excited about this hopefully you are too and we'll talk to you soon bye bye everybody bye bye bye bye bye thanks guys oh prince too there's I was gonna say prince on the website there's prince there like art prince not like not prince of prince russian or yeah arabian or the artist formerly known as the prince of the world okay that's the last thing okay thanks everybody goodbye bye and to get a little taste to get a little taste of what's coming down of what you might get in the higher patreon levels maybe we'll put a little clip at the end of this it's like I don't know uh from the q a yeah sure or maybe from one of the improvise with me's because there's like a bunch of video improvise with me's that we did over zoom oh my god we're releasing those oh shit you didn't tell us that parts of that's fine I'm fine with it we're really you're fine with that I'm fucking editing them down guys you're gonna edit out my creepy basement no that's the basement is key for one of them paul forgot that we had it oh right and he was on his bike the whole time then I have very interesting conversations with people get wrapped up I'm sorry so that's the kind of shit you can look forward to yeah maybe I'll put a little bit of the bored dog movie at the end of this oh yeah bored dog movie at the end of this the bored dog cinematic franchise all right that's it that's the last thing that's it enjoy bored dog everybody okay bye now bye bye sorry was I cast in the scene I was momentarily distracted uh just because tony hawk and you're a dog that skateboards so well that he's coming for tony hawk's title nice name is bored dog bored dog bored dog bored dog bored dog hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey I don't know about you dog but I'm in a fucking video game minimum one video game that I'm aware of and you think you can fucking beat me just because you got two times more feats than I do and therefore can skate on two times the amount of skateboard I can skate on fuck that bud yeah eat my shit fuck you tony hawk whoa I I'd I'd have two skates I'd have two skates I'd have two skates I'd have two skates I'd have two skates skateboards one is a long board and one is a small board and I run towards the half pipe and I hop on both of them what happens I fall bad I rolled I rolled down the thing and I'm at the bottom pause the announcer oh big tumble spill stop and roll over big boy who's a good boy he's down he's down and not getting a cookie or getting up geez louise and they're coming out his coach coming out of dual to talk him up and get him off the ground uh I run out and I I look at the dog and I give a mouth-to-mouth I blow into its snow and I start giving him cpr oh you're awake yeah I've been awake this whole time that's why I've been looking at you okay well dog here's what I'll tell you is you're a good boy and only good boy can ride two skateboards at one time.

And once you ride these two skateboards at one time, I'll give you two hot dogs. Oh my God. Only there's more than one hot dog. Yeah. Two hot dogs. I always assumed that there was only one in existence at any one time. That's why I only ever got one. Do you get two hot dogs at the same time? If you ride the skateboard really well, cut back to Tony Hawk. Yeah. I'm going to have to see how Tony Hawk does to know who it would I have to beat.

Did I just fucking overhear that this dog's going to get two hot dogs? Why the fuck do I only ever get one hot dog? And Tony Hawk's talking to his coach, Paul. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's craziness. He's just making it up. You know, I mean, he's getting nervous because he knows that, that he's lying and he's been only using one hot dog to dangle in front of his face this whole time. We can't afford to, I'm sorry.

And then the dog, bored dog's coach reaches into his vest underneath, which there are two, like what those like gun holsters. And then he pulls it from the gun holsters. He's been keeping two hot dogs that have toppings on them already. This one is relish. This one is mustard. No ketchup was available at the concession stand. We cut to the concession and there's a 16 year old boy shoveling ketchup into his mouth. Ready to hit the pipe. This is fucking sick.

So I'm going to get those fucking hot dogs. I want to taste what two hot dogs taste like. You can do it. Fucking do it. I can do the best. Thanks coach. Fuck. Can't wait. Jessica's actually drooling. Yeah. No, I did that. No, I did. I did. Okay. And so Tony Hawk gets on. Not one, not two, but three skateboards. One sec. One sec. Whoa. What is this? Okay. Nice. My two legs and three skateboards. I can do this. Yeah. Paul, you're the announcer again. He's stepping one leg off.

Doesn't twirl up in the ground. Back around all ballerina style. And he's down. He started his descent down in the. He still has two hot dogs coming back up. He slips all the way over. Double over. Oh no. Oh no. The ramp has collapsed. The ramp has had him. He is had by the ramp. I'm sure to win now. Says bored dog holding a screwdriver and three loose screws. And two hot dogs. And see. Oh, it seems over. What? No, the ghost of Tony Hawk returns. Oh, yeah.

And I, and he comes to haunt the board dog. But this is, this is the sequel movie. It's a board dog to board game board duck to the ghost of Tony Hawk. Tony Hawk's revenge. And the coach is still holding the two hot dogs. But they're like a shriveled and old now. Cause I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Oh, Oh, Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. When he sucked the soul out of the hot dogs. Oh, God. Hot dog cover. He's got the power of two hot dogs. I have the power of two hot dogs. You know what this means, right? World domination. I'm going to destroy the entire Earth and fill it with the souls of the undead. Ghost Tony Hawk's coach is there. And coach? But you're going to be the fucking first one in my army of the dead. But first, to do that, I gotta kill you. You know what?

I saw this coming when I was withholding the hot dogs. I'm paying the price. As long as you can do it really just… Not my soul! You can take my life, but you can't have my soul! And then Tony Hawk's ghost poops out the coach's soul. Whoa. And now, okay, now we cut forward to the trailer for Bored Dog 3, Son of Bored Dog. Abdullah's son of Bored Dog. Oh, no, I'm still the coach. You're Son of Bored Dog. Okay, Paul's son of Bored Dog. Okay, Paul, you're Son of Bored Dog.

And because of the events of Tony Hawk… Wait, Bored Dog… Tony Hawk's Revenge. Tony Hawk's Revenge. I have a scar. I have a scar vertically on this side and an eye patch over this side. I can't. I'm blind. I can't see anything. I can't see. I'm blind. I come out of a trailer. Exterior shot. Whim-swept wasteland. You can see… It's a desert with snow in the middle of the wilderness. There's one trailer in the middle of it. Just… Rocking back and forth in the wind. Yeah.

Because you can't see anything. Standing in front of the trailer is a bald white man in a dark suit. Are you Tony Hawk's old… Are you Bored Dog's coach? Who's asking? The U.S. Government. The ghost of Tony Hawk has returned. And then I pick up a skateboard and I cock it like a gun. Ooh. Oh, man. Guys, I'm really into the Bored Dog franchise. Bored Dog. The first one's effectively Air Bud. But the original writer quit three quarters of the way through and it had to get finished by a guy…

Maybe five, six. Five, six. And it was finished by a dog.