Episode 4 – The Yesterday of Today

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Pretty good theme song.

Yeah, it's great. Yeah. It's a great song. I also like that he has a band. That's what I think is really funny. I always just thought of it as the bard, but then I realized that he's got a lot of Backup instruments. Additional instruments. There's a tambourine. Yeah, yeah, and a flute and like little… A lute. Yeah, it's great. Welcome to Spout Lore, everybody. My name is Sean O'Hara. I am the game master, and with me, our player is Jessica. Hello. Abdul. Hey, guys.

And guest player, Mark Robertson. Hello. We're recording in Mark's basement, because he's a big boy with his own house. It's mostly my wife's house. Let's move on. When last we left our heroes, they arrived at the Highspear Mall, the largest mall in all of the principalities, probably the world if you think about it, because what other culture would build a big old mall?

And Billy and Tacoma arrived at the Highspear Mall at the suggestion of Colonel Dan Fosse, because Dan knew of an elf who served with his father and might know a little something about what potentially happened to Ving, because the idea is apparently that Ving may not be dead and may in fact be trapped in the spirit world. So they met Shathane Wick, ranger, security guard, angry person, and now they're here. And what was the last thing? Does anybody remember?

Does somebody want to give me a recap of the mall antics? Yeah, I think Shathane said that he would leave the mall and go to the Highspear Mall because he was a little bit too busy. Shathane said that he would look into our predicament with our friend as long as we helped him deal with some of the gangs of New York style conflicts that are happening in the mall with the hot meat boys. And what were the other two? The Cool Treat kids. Yeah. Cool Treat. And the Rock Pirate clan.

Those are the three known, the triad that's… What did you call them? The Food Court. The Food Court. Because there's like, each of them has the head of the gang that presides over some industry. And I think I thought it was basically being managed under control, but it turns out that the hot meat boys have, they're the ones that sabotaged Mike's Meats. Or the Mike's Meats in that end of the mall. Yeah.

But the very last thing that happened was Billy noticed that he was being followed by the gentleman who attempted to confiscate your weapons. At what was supposedly an official weapons check when you came into the mall. And Billy almost gave up his crystal, the little light crystal that he has used to interesting effect very recently and was able to poison. Poison seems like such a strong word for what you do. I guess like coerce. Yeah. Coerce through the use of poisons. Yeah.

It's like a roofie. Yeah. I roofied him. Oh boy. But not for sexual matters. Matters. Matters. Matters. That's an entirely different technique. Yeah. But through that you were able to keep your crystal, but apparently the issue with that, the side effect was that you are now being followed by that person and another person. Cool. And they're keeping an eye on you from nearby. So what do you do? It's nice. It feels like we're special. Yeah.

Like especially after Tuck's fan run in and then this guy following me, I feel like kind of cool. Yeah. Like wow. But that only lasts for a minute. And then I realized that maybe it's dangerous. So I'm going to talk to Tuck. Really cash. So please talk to Tuck really cash. I am. Okay. So I yank on his finger to like pay attention to me. Oh, there you go. Hey buddy, what's up? Like don't look right now. Don't do it. I see you looking. Don't look around. No, just look at me in the eyes. Okay.

Okay. Okay. I'm looking at you and then I lift you up to my face. So that guy who like asked for our shit. I mean stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's following us and I don't know what to do about it. Okay. Let me discreetly look over there. And then I, I opened my eyes real wide and I turned my head. Hey, be cool. Okay. I said be cool. No. Okay. Be way cooler. Which one is he? Are you looking? The one. The one that we talked to for like 10 minutes that I gave the golden root to. Okay. Yeah.

I see him. So Billy, you see him. Yeah. I see him. I see him. I see him. I see him. I see him. I see him. I see him. I see him. I see him. I see him. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Actually, does Tantamile have anything, any trainings that might? My animal companion is trained to fight humanoids and also has scouting, guarding, labor, quick reflexes, and is stealthy.

When you work with your animal companion on something it's trained in, add its cunning to your roll. So you're going to roll 2d6 plus your wisdom plus Tantamile's cunning. That's 5, 7, 9. See, that's awesome because that was not a good roll. And it was almost an unmitigated success with Tantamile. But you do get one question off the discern realities list. I think what is about to happen?

Yeah, what is about to happen is those two gentlemen who you actually see and you recognize as being members of the hot meat boys gang that runs various rackets in the High Spear Mall, including… Including fake weapons check. Including fake weapons checks. But they also run a lot… They run a lot of restaurants. What restaurants? You've mentioned that there is more than one Mike's Meats location. Right. Yeah, they run most of them except for Trevor's. Right.

And you think that that's probably part of the issue. And they've been trying to pressure him. Is Mike part of the organization? Maybe Mike's the leader of the organization. Whoa. You wouldn't know. Actually, Abdul, you came up with the hot meat boys. Yeah. Who's the leader of the hot meat boys? Yeah, it's a woman. Hashtag. Who runs the world? Girls. Come on, man. It's a woman who… Every time you tell… I like how he does that. He's like… Everyone should stand up and applaud now.

Created an imaginary character. Every time you tell a joke that I'm worried is going to make it in, I take a glance at Wes to see if he's writing down a timestamp. I'm just like… Is he… Does Wes know? Or at least making a concerned face. Exactly. Oh, my God. Okay. So, it is a woman. It's a woman. And she has one name. Not a first name and a last name. She's a dwarf woman. Oh, this is the first dwarf character we've introduced. She's a dwarf woman called Haffy McGee. Oh, my God.

You said she had one name. That's all one name. Seconds after you said she had one name, not a first name and a last name, you gave her two names. Okay. I did not remember that I said she had one name. Okay. She has one name and it's Veranda. Her name is Veranda. Okay. She's just got the one name and that name is Veranda. Yeah. Okay. And she's a dwarf and she's the leader of the Hot Meat Boys. And she fights with… Legend tells that she fights with brisket pulling skewers.

You know those things that are used to pull like hot brisket? She puts those in her hands and she fights with them. And she's very short and stout, but very fast. Mm-hmm. Like she can like rip through a room full of 10 guys before the first guy has even like landed a single blow. Whoa. And it like just shreds their knees and legs. Yeah. Jeez. Christ. And then she'll make brisket out of them. What? She eats people. God in heaven. Okay. So… But I think we still didn't…

Did we find out what was about to happen? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We did not find out what was about to happen. So what is about to happen is you notice that these members of the Hot and Neat Boys who you recognize are signaling to other people in the crowd and they are mobilizing and trying to kind of trap you.

The gangs here thankfully are smart enough that they know that open violence is usually not smart because there's mall security. For real. Which is, you know, effective in its own way. But then there's the greater like high spear guard. And if the guard get involved, then that's like usually bad news. So they're not going to just draw swords and start hacking people up right now, but they are trying to kind of corral you. All right.

I'm going to recommend that we head straight back to security headquarters. Okay. That sounds good. Billy? Sure. Is there like an exit, you know, an emergency exit in that office? Oh, yeah. The whole mall is like is riddled with back entrances and secret pathways and some, most of them I know. So you're trying to get through? We're trying to get through the crowd over to one of the maintenance corridors in between a couple of shops and then scooch in there. Then I would call that a defy danger.

Do you guys want to aid? Well, I guess there's, is there any way that you can think that you would be helping? I guess I could scrunch down so people can't see me as much. I'll stretch up so I can look more average. Tuck is ducking and Billy's getting taller. Great. Okay. So yeah, if Billy and Tuck want to try and help scrunching and stretching. I got four. I got eight. Wait, what do I, is it plus what? Bond. So four. Yeah. And eight. I fail.

That's a partial success, which means that you do get a plus one. Okay. And I got eight plus two. So. Ten. Ten. So yeah. And I guess I, I guess I tried to pretend like I was a fancy lady and I was like, Ooh, this mall is nice. Wow. And drew more attention to myself. And just generated three eye rolls. One from a giant beaver cat. So go ahead and mark a point of experience for failing. Sick. What happens first is Shathane with Tantamile sort of right at your leg.

You're walking with Tantamile through the crowd. People are moving out of the way because they know your security and they also know that Tantamile is a giant predator. And Billy, you're kind of right behind Shathane and Tantamile. Mm hmm. And you see the hot meat boys try and get around you. But it's that sort of thing where you move in just the way that they don't expect you to. And then they get stuck behind some people and they're like, like they can't quite get there.

And you get to a little side corridor that if it existed in the real world would, would have one of those like crash bar sort of door handles like in a mall. And you pop through there into a little side hall used for maintenance workers and security and stuff. And Tuck, as this is happening, you get to this door. This is a small door. Oh, it's too small for me. Like, Shathane is tall, but lean. And Billy is the size of a soccer ball. But it's too big for you to get through. I can't get into it?

You would really have to shove your way in there. Okay, can I do that? Can I just try Winnie the Pooh style to just shove myself into this door? Yeah, they're getting close. Okay. These corridors are used for the maintenance in workers mostly. So it's quite small. How narrow? Maybe three feet. We've established that my character is like five feet wide. Yeah, seven feet tall. Just about. Yeah. Because it's like torso, right? Yeah, he's a huge. He's almost inhuman in how big he is.

Okay, can I try and cram? Yeah, cram it. They're getting close. Okay, and I'm getting a little bit nervous. So I try and I'm like. I'm fine, but this is pretty narrow. So this would be a. Wait, hold on. Hold on. Okay. Well, I rolled a two. No, no, no. Hold on. We didn't even establish what you're doing, what you're rolling. Like you just rolled dice. Okay. That was a chaos roll. That was not related to this. Yeah. So you're trying to shove yourself in there. So do you think this is like.

Are you trying to contort yourself? Are you trying to force yourself through? I think. Yeah, I'm trying to force myself in. So I would probably call that a strength. Yeah. Defy danger strength. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now it's 12. So you cram yourself in. You're really crunched up. So you can't move very quickly. And you're just trying to close that door. But you did still fail. When? Oh, yeah. One roll ago. Sorry. So you are cramming yourself in and it's already a tight squeeze.

And there's a door swinging shut behind you. And you see that it's about to swing shut on one of the. Necks of your loot. Oh, no. But the hobby boys are closing in. So you can either let it close and break part of your loot. Or you can just leave it open and deal with the consequences. Yeah. The loot is a two necked with one body piece. Yeah. And then it has an extra head on one of the necks that changes the tunings for a third set of strings that runs perpendicular to the first two. Yeah.

And that's the one that smashes. Yes. Yeah. That's the head that snaps. Fuck. I close it on the loot. Yeah. And you hear it just go like crunch twang. Yeah. That's like string snap. I'm like, whatever. Okay. It'll probably sound better now. You see there's a little locking bar behind the door. Okay. And then I slam that down. So you basically lose two thirds of your string tuning ability. No. One third. No. Because it broke both of them. Because it's got the one neck.

It has two heads for tuning two sets of strings. Wait. That's the one that breaks? Yeah. That's the one that breaks. Ugh. Fuck. But you hear the. I paid a third of a gold coin piece for this. It's a big mall though. It's like mall city. Yeah. Maybe I can get it fixed somewhere. Yeah. There's a short in McLean's music store. Thick. I think. Unless it's closed down because. Only Canadians will get that reference. So dumb. If we have time. Yeah.

So you hear the hot meat boys slamming on the door going. Damn it. He got through. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Catch up another time. And then I turn back through it. I'm like, fuck you guys. So can I taunt them through the door? I guess so. Yeah. I'm like, haha. Idiots. You hear nothing. Yeah. I'm like, hey, are you guys still there? No response. Hey, did you hear that burn? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

I just love your significant effort to defeat the stealth move that we used to sneak in here. I think they're gone. Billy and Chathain, you turn around and tuck his like crouched down into a sideways ball like shoved into this little tiny corridor, which Billy, you feel you find quite comfortable. You didn't even really probably notice that it was that small. Yeah. I'm actually like doing some stretches. So you. You. You.

Yeah you're in the maintenance corridors so as shathane's move basically get back to the yeah security offices security office yeah and it's probably a pretty straight not straight shot but it's probably pretty easy through the maintenance tunnels like there's not really any reason that it wouldn't connect to that area yeah does it open up at all or am I just scraping through the whole time um you're going pretty slow for a while and then you get to a larger area that has like copper pipes running through like you hear rushing water and cool banging and there are a bunch of small figures in the in this room working on the pipes and pulling on pulleys and cranking things what the hell are those things those are elves oh yeah my dudes so there are a bunch of like knobbly kind of potato looking people with long arms and legs but are about three feet tall working away on ladders and in harnesses on different pipes and they're just going oh oh yeah that's good stuff holy shit I forgot how creepy this goes and they're just working away they don't even like they as you walk in they go oh one tips it's a little cap to you and they keep working can we like talk to them see if they've heard tell of an elf named grimsby uh you could yeah yeah so I I curtsy I don't really know how how you!

Stop what they're doing. And there's like a hush that falls over the room. They're like, Grimsby, the traveling elf. Oh, is that what he is now? He's a strange one. Cast off the yoke of work and traveled the wide world. We, you know, Grimsby came through here. Wow. It was amazing. He just was here to pick up some supplies before he went on to the next place. Never seen anything like it. He just came here and he bought some stuff. Then he hit the road. It was amazing.

And they're like, yeah, it was amazing. Oh, it was amazing. And at this point, I've kind of like catched caught up. And it opens up and you can stand up. Okay. I'm like, what? Where was he going? Oh, he didn't want to say. Where was he coming from? He didn't want to say. That's Grimsby. Can we play like a little theme? That's my Grimsby. You know, credits roll. Yes. They're like, oh, if you are friends of Grimsby, you're friends of ours. Oh, yeah. I would. We're friends.

We inspired him to take this journey. Oh, wow. That's, you know, it's never anything that I could do. And they're like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. But the fact that one of us is able to take in the wonders of this wide world. Oh, that's pretty amazing. It's pretty amazing. If you ever see Grimsby again, you tell him old TikTok is a big fan. Big fan. Oh, cool. TikTok, my name is Tuck. And then I extend like a little finger. Yeah. And he grabs it with his whole hand. Yeah.

And I'm like, good to meet you. Oh, wonderful to meet you. How do you guys like communicate with one another in the structure? Like if we want to get a hold of you or whatever. Oh, you know, the tubes. The tubes? Just like anywhere else. Okay. Okay. Finest, finest self-invention of the last 20 years. All right. Yeah. Okay, cool. You just hit a tube and we'll be there. Cool. And they kind of like tip their cap to Shathane. Like, good to see you. Good to see you.

And I'll just give a very slight eye roll because I'm not a big fan. And then I'm like, I suggest you guys get back to work. And they're like, oh, no problem. No problem. You guys done chatting with yourselves? Yeah. I guess so. I guess. Yeah, they're cool. Yeah, they're cool. Let's go. Let's go. What is your deal, man? As we were walking away, I want to ask him. Why don't you like those elves? I'm an elf. No, but they're bureaucratic elves. You're like tall. You're like that. Yeah, exactly.

Is there like a race condescension between elves and elves? We established that they're not the same thing. I know, but it seems like there's racial tension between them. Well, I mean, people do often get us mixed up. So I think that. I think the difference is pretty obvious. Yeah, I mean, it's very obvious. Yeah. Unless like you're far away and then there's an elf really close. Then maybe I could see confusing you. Right. And you see 100 of them doing a job that one of us could do. Yeah.

And you get confused. Do you want to be fixing the pipes, though? That's their job. Yeah. That's why they exist. Okay. Maybe we shouldn't get into this. I don't think there's really anything to get into. We can just head back to headquarters. Yeah. Okay. So you guys head back to headquarters. Can I talk to just Billy? Yeah. While we're walking. Yeah. Did that seem weird to you? That was, even to my standards, super awkward. So I could talk to him, but I'm kind of too scared now.

So I'm just going to keep walking like this with my eyes really big and my chin tucked in. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So you guys quietly walk back. Yeah. I guess the rest of the walk is in silence. Wonderful. So you lead them back to headquarters through the pipes. There are some points where Tuck has to shove himself into a corridor again and kind of crab walk. And you get back to security headquarters.

If you guys could just take the items that you took with you, take them to the quartermaster, check them back in. And now I'm going to upgrade your passes to full deputies. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. What sort of things do we get for that? You now need full portrait ID. Ooh. And you're authorized to carry weapons. Nice. Nice. Fucking sick. I already have been. That sounds like we should probably chat about that. All right, good, because I still have mine.

And then I lick both my hands and kind of rub them on my face to make myself presentable. Still really dirty, though. But now it's kind of smudged around. Yeah. Yeah. There's handprints on your face. Yeah. So there's a couple other things you're going to need from the quartermaster. You actually look like a raccoon now. As full deputies, you get deputy uniforms. Oh, cool. Which consist of beautifully elf-crafted police gear. You're given a little bit of a hat. You're given a little suit.

There's one that's kind of baggy that's for Billy. Oh. And one that's way too tight for Tuck. Does this look weird? It's like booty shorts almost. Or it's like capris, right? Oh, wait. Booty? Like if they're booty shorts, I'm kind of into them. No, they're like- This is the most clothes I've ever seen on you. Check it out. Wait, what is that? Oh, yeah. You're wearing like pants and a shirt and stuff. Am I wearing pants or what? Well, they would be capri pants, basically. Okay.

I'm going to take my- My bell hook and just like cut them into booty shorts. Nice. Wonderful. I am disappointed because I don't like the sound of uniforms, but I thought when he said elf stuff, I thought it was like his cloak, and it's not. It's not, yeah. No, it's like sort of really light leather blue, dark, dark blue leather armor. And are you very interested in the cloak? Because you do remember that you have a piece of fabric that is very similar to his cloak. Okay.

So I kind of like eye up Shathane, and I kick the uniform aside, and I pull out my little blanket thing, and I just wrap that around my shoulders, and I say, okay, I'm ready. Oh, beautiful. That's a beautiful piece of butter moth silk. Where did you get that from? My mom. Butter moth? What's that? Yeah. What's that? Because my mom didn't tell me what this was. He actually- Mark actually came up with all this. It's pretty cool. Really? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When he says big, he means like this big. Like sparrow-sized moth. That's awful. Yeah. That flies around. Oh, sorry. When he says- When Mark says this big, he means the size of like a small dinner plate. Yeah. Yeah. I said sparrow size. Yeah. Sparrow size. That's better than me making a circle with my hands for an audio format. So butter moths, large, very common, but the silk is very rare.

It's difficult to get the cocoons without them rotting and then process them. It's only done by the finest skilled laborers. It's really beautiful stuff. It has all of the other properties that you expect from a butter moth. It's fireproof. Wow. It has the wings of a butter moth. Fireproof. Wow. Pretty much everything fireproof is made out of butter moth wings. Wow. So it's mainly fireproof. Mainly fireproof. It changes color a little bit, right? Yeah, it's like a butter moth's wings almost.

It has that sort of oily. If you just stay still long enough, it pretty much makes you invisible. Cool. Yeah. Wow. And I was thinking about this, what that would actually do for you. So Shathane has a move called camouflage that when you keep still in natural surroundings, enemies never spot you until you make a movement. So if he just goes into a natural area and doesn't move, he can't be seen. So since Billy doesn't have that move, that's probably what it would do.

For Billy, if you don't move, as long as you're wearing that cloak, you should be able to, and it is in natural areas. Like you wouldn't just be able to hide on like the sidewalk. But for Shathane, what it'll do is when you do that, you also get to ask a move from the discern realities list. Yeah. As you like are able to quietly observe your surroundings, you get one move from that list. Cool. What is the top half of the uniform look like? Just so I know. It's like blue leather.

Is that what you said? Like so the helmet, you got a little helmet. It's more like a little hat helmet kind of thing. I don't like that. Kind of like the top half of Captain America's helmet, but without the eye part built into it. Okay. Okay. I'll wear the helmet and I'll tuck my hair under that. Okay. Nice. Oh yeah. Cause it's not, cause your thing is a, is a cape, not a cloak. Cause it's just raw fabric. Yeah. You'd have to get it made into a cloak. I just tied it around my neck.

In fact, I'm going to double knot it after all that stuff he said. It sounds really important. So I'm just going to make sure that that doesn't fall off. And I, I guess I'm, I'm going to like kind of mod mine a bit where like, cause the jacket in the largest size is tight. So I'm just going to like cut it down the front. So now it's like, it's whole, it's flapping out loose like a vest and I cut the arms off. So it's more like a vest. The quartermaster is losing his mind. Yeah.

There's like a, there's like a, a MIT, like a 50 year old human man who's watching you do this with his hands in his hair. Like, Oh my God. No, please. No. But, and Chathain's just like Flinko Flynn. It's fine. Just what was his name? Flinko Flynn. Flinko Flynn. Flinko Flynn. The quartermaster. Just, I'm going to have to replace that now. So no problem. Don't, don't worry about it. Okay. All right. I hand him back the pants that the legs of the pants I cut off. I'm like, here you go.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Here's the arms. Oh, you're so kind. Thank you. Thank you for being so respectful. And I put out my hand to shake his hand. You're a kind man. He shakes your hand, but he does it really sarcastically. He's like, oh, thank you. Good handshake. Thank, I'm just going to go. He just walks away. As you walk away, as he walks away, you can hear him going like, there's only so many times you can sarcastically say thank you. And he leaves. That guy's nice. Yeah. All right.

You guys are fully equipped now. We need to, just the last step is, as I said, you got portrait based ID. Now we need to head down to the amusement park because that's where we have a standing contract with the caricaturist. Okay. And, uh, and, uh, incidentally, this person, uh, also runs a, uh, although I don't totally approve of it, runs a fortune telling business out of the back of her caricaturist hut.

So, uh, I don't fully understand what you guys think you're messed up in with your friend, but there's a good chance she's going to be able to figure out what's up. Oh, okay. There's some way she can help you. Now. I do want to know, does she think that this fortune teller is legit? Yeah. Okay. So does she think know that this fortune teller is legit? Is this like a spirit thing? Um, what she does now? Yeah. In the mall telling fortunes and stuff is just like regular old scam artist type stuff.

But she has, but he knows her from before. Oh, from the day from the before times. And so he, uh, he thinks that she's genuinely going to be able to figure out what's, what's up. Okay. But yeah, so my, so my question is, does, or maybe we could just like, I just want to know, does she think 100% no, for sure that she has power or does he, is he pretty sure that she does? He knows that she has power. Okay, great. He's not sure exactly what she's going to do or, or what she might be able to do.

But if anybody can, can figure out, uh, if something can be done, it's probably, it's going to be her. What's the name of the amusement park guys? Yeah. Yesterland. Oh, cool. So in a medieval style fantasy world, it is based on the, it is past theme.

So I, I think that they have things, that happen in the amusement park that are all done with, um, not too much with the spirit world, but things happen through the things that we know how they work, like alchemy and, um, enchantments and things like that. So the mechanical things that we know make this universe work and they use those to make things that remind people of back when magic worked. Oh my God. So it's a magic themed amusement park. Yeah, exactly.

What, what, what the world was like back before the, uh, yeah, that's fucking awesome. I like that a lot that it's like, Ooh, it's, Ooh, the wizard coaster. And it's like, you draw, you go through the roller coaster. And so his friend, the fortune teller is like pretending that she's doing these things and everybody's passing it off as like, Oh, that's cool. But in fact, they're made, there's like a little element, a little sliver of it. That's real. Yeah. Yesterland.

But I think if there's any elements, any, any, uh, any little wisps of magic still existing, this is kind of where the people that, Oh, those things would happen. So it's, so your friend, so Shathane's friend came here kind of to hide out. Because she did have power and she knew that this was a way to have a decent life, but also not draw unwanted attention. That's fair. Cool. So there's a magic themed amusement park called. Yesterland.

Uh, Jessica, would you like to establish, um, a feature of Yesterland? Okay. So it's just a lounge and they serve coffee and like all the people who serve the coffee are, um, bearded and they wear like checked, like checker slash plaid, um, outfits. Like people think, like wizards did during magic times. Yeah. It's just, and they're really cool, but they're not very nice. And they're just like, Hey man, like, do you want some cream in there? Do you want to taste the coffee? Right.

So they just act like that. And then everything's really sleek and gray and white. And there's like a lot of raw wood tables and succulents. Yeah. So this is like, it's like a, uh, it's a recreation of like the kind of place that wizards used to, hang out in. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Coffee shop. What does it have a name? Wiz and co wiz and co. Nice. I like it. It was, uh, okay. And then there's the fortune teller and portrait artist. I think she has a name. Cartwin Zane Tonj. Whoa.

I can't even say that. Holy shit. Cartwain Zane Tonj. Can we please go back to the times when we just called everyone Gary? Nope. Cartwain Zane Tonj. Yeah. Do you want me to spell it? Do it. C-A-R-T-W-Y-N. Cartwin. Cartwin. And Zane Tonj is, uh, X. Oh shit. A-I-T-O-N-G-E. Oh my God. I hate elf names so much. Oh, so hard. Carting. Cartwin. Wing John. So yeah, you're heading down to the West, Yesterland amusement park and you, it takes a while to get there. It's on the other side of the mall.

As you get closer, traffic starts turning more towards where you're going. And then after a while you're, you've joined a flood of people entering the Yesterland amusement park at the front. There's a sign that says Yesterland, the yesterday of today. And, uh, it's got like a statue.

I know it's got like a, um, a statue of a wizard out front, which we have now established sometimes wore checkered shirts and glasses and a big beard indeterminate facial features, but, and very like angry eyebrows and arms outstretched, but it's sort of, you know, it's torso will move to the side and jerkily stop. And then like it's arms will jerkily move down and then it'll twist back the other way. And it lifts its arms up and it just does this cycle.

It looks like the arms aren't up in like a position of power, but more like apathy, like whatever, man. And it's the least magical thing that most people have ever imagined in their lives. It's the jerkiest, clunkiest piece of. Yeah. It's just, it's like super analog. Yeah. What runs there? There may be an elephant. Who loves his job sitting in there pumping his arms and legs so fast. Uh, yeah.

So you, you pass through into the Yesterland amusement park and the actual inside of this place, uh, at least the room it's contained in, cause it's all indoors is pretty impressive. It's all glass ceiling. So the light is streaming in through these innumerable panes of glass, kind of like at the front wall was holding up the different levels of balcony. There's huge like brass metal pillars that are kind of spaced throughout the entire corridor, which is gigantic.

So is the panes of glass are on the ceiling. Yeah. It's a glass ceiling. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Like a conservatory, but I believe in the power of women. Jesus Christ. Sorry. I'm sorry. Can I get a timestamp on that one? Yeah. There's a bunch of women at this, stuck on little things at the top, banging on the room. And then outside there's a bunch of men walking around. That's pretty nice up here. Jesus Christ. Uh, my name is Sean O'Hara. I am the game master.

And with me, our player is Jessica, my dudes, Abdul. I'm bigger than you in the real world. Now, fuck it. Fuck you up. If you take away my imaginary guitar and guest player, Mark Robertson. It's mostly my wife's house. Welcome to Spout Lore. Everybody. Pretty good theme song. And so ends the tale of adventures. Three who tried the best they can. Dumb and scared and lost. They be for times of rest in. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without. Rest. Illusion.

Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I'd gladly Spout Lore. There was a portrait artist, right? Caricature artist at West Empton mall. And his name was Claude St. Ange. Oh, cool. It's the real guy. Nice. I use the name for Randa because I can see it. I can see one. It's a good. He also could have been named a rusty box spring. Also sitting on the veranda. That sounds like like a world of Warcraft. Gnome name. Dirty blue tarp.