Patreon Bonus: Spout More Episode 24

Hi, Spoutlorians, Abdul here, just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Speltmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. I think Taylor is like, oh, yeah, you can trust me. You know, if I wasn't trustworthy, Adric wouldn't keep me around. You can trust Adric, too, in fact.

And it cocks its head. And you hear a knock, knock, knock. Taylor, I understand there's a birthday cake here for me. He opens the door and, like, sweeping into the room in a flurry of, like, a beautiful purple cape, blonde hair down to his shoulders. A kind of tan complexion with, like, the littlest hint of an elf ear. Cool. Very handsome man with, like, a real swashbuckler, like, blonde mustache and the blonde chin strap. Wonderful clothes just swirling into the room is adventurer Adric Swift.

Whoa. I break out into a round of applause. I'm going to run up to him, put my cane to his throat. Yeah, I don't know. I don't totally trust this guy. All right. And as you run towards him with your weapon in your hand. Yeah. Before you can blink, there's a rapier pointed at you. Whoa. Careful now, child. Who the devil are you? Who am I? I'm one of the cool tree kids. And we came to talk about our home. And maybe that you don't know that you might be taking it away from us.

We want to know if you know the reasons behind your newest adventure. And he looks at you for a moment. With an appraising eye. And he sheathes his sword. I sheathed my sword, which is just putting a candy cane back in my mouth. All right, child, you have a moment. Who hired you? Ah, let's take this somewhere a little more comfortable, shall we say? And smash cut to the restaurant and bar of the Spearman B&B. And he's tucking in a napkin into his shirt. Into his ass cut. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Delicious. Fenton is sitting in a children's seat, a booster seat with a little table on it. Alright, children. So, as I'm sure you can understand, I can't tell you everything you might want to know, but I'm happy to tell you some. Indeed, the vineyard hath hired me. Hararara! He just starts meowing on a rib. Are they paying you for this job? Quite handsomely, yes. Okay, is that the most important thing to you? Yes, it is. I love money above all things.

I thought you loved adventure. And adventure. I also love adventure. Very astute. What's most important to you, Fenton says, is he skewers a chicken nugget. And then he, like, daintily dips it in a little cup of ketchup. He's like, is it money? Or is it adventure? Nom, nom, nom. He's being a very delicate little boy. Very fancy lad. Let's go around the horn and get him out. Oh, sure. Because I want to know what the kids are eating, too.

Clover has one of the coloring menus and a bunch of, a cup of crayons that she's coloring. Glass of chocolate milk, chocolate soy milk. Nice. With, like, the little red and white straw. She's vegan. She's vegan. And she's got a plate of plain spaghetti with sauce on the side. When it's not candy, Clover eats like the pickiest kid in the world, it sounds like. Wait, why sauce on the side? Because then I can coat it the way I like to. This is a smart girl.

You would listen to your compatriot friend. Sauce on the side. Each noodle sauced precisely as you desire it. Sometimes you get more sauce that way. Exactly. It's true. Sometimes, they think the coating of the sauce amongst the noodles is enough to convince you it is a full dish, but it is not. Oh, yeah, and then if you have sauce left over, you have, like, a little soup you can drink at the end. A little night sauce. I like the way you think, boy.

As you can understand, as a man on the road, I've come to appreciate the dining establishments and roadside motels such as this. Some of the finest dining in the world, I say. Right here? Right here. What have you got there, my man? Well, I ordered a flambé meal. It's like a sizzling.

They come in, they put a burner down, and then they sizzle out the wok, and you get to cook your own food, like a Korean barbecue, but I'm making a s'mores over the fire with peanut butter cups instead of chocolate bars that I brought all my own supplies. I say, is that a peanut butter cup inside of a s'more? You're darn right it is. Savory, sweet, adventurous. You children are quite something. And I got chicken fingers. I saw. With a side of ketchup. Delicious. And a Cape Cod lobster.

A full lobster, you say? It is very difficult to get into. I was unaware. Delicious. And Fett is doing his best to crack into this thing. Here you go, my boy. Here's something that I've learned after decades and decades on the road, and he pulls out a little cracker for a lobster and hands it over. Thank you. Always be prepared. Thank you, Mr. Swift. And then he cracks the lobster, takes the meat out, dips it in the ketchup. Mr. Swift was my father. Please call me Adric Swift.

So, as I was saying, I am in this purely for the money. I'm a man of means, but those means are acquired through the doing of adventures. Yeah, was your life about the money that you earn or the venture that you seek? Are you someone who can be bought or are you someone who's in it for the thought of adventure? He slowly lifts a rib up to his mouth, looking at you thoughtfully. He's got sauce all over his mouth now. There's a woman inside a woman's heart.