Patreon Bonus: Mall Brats Season 2, Episode 11

Hi, Spoutlorians, Abdul here, just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Speltmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. So it's a mixed result. You're in a risky position when the action starts. That makes sense. Makes sense. These roses are wilting fast. So we are at the front.

You put them in yogurt. We cut to the cool tree kids. Yeah, it's what every growing thing needs, is yogurt. Boys, roses. I mixed beet juice in there. So it's a vase. Ben's just walking into the ropes residence. With the most nutritious. It's a huge vase for them to sit in, and we're like, why aren't they happy in here? With a vase of yogurt filled with beet juice with 11 roses in it and one stem. Franklin cut the head off the other rose when he took it. And you kept the stem. Yeah.

And you can smell the yogurt. Maybe it'll grow a new rose, like a lizard's tail. Oh yeah, we think it might grow in time. Grow back. Man, this is going to really set it. I'm talking to Clover. I'm like, this is really going to start us on the right foot. I think. I think so. So you arrive at the ropes residence in your outfits, half a tuxedo, purple overalls, and the other half of the tuxedo and a mesh shirt. It's just incredible. And you ring the doorbell.

And whatever Butler answered last time has clearly been fired because a different one answers. The doorbell is the name of the Butler. Jeffrey. So Jeffrey arrives at the door. Hello. Hello. Are you expected? Yes, we've been summoned by the club. By what club? The babysitter's club. Ah, Miss Ropes's extracurricular activities. Yes, they are in the yurt even now. Allow me to take you to the backyard as my jaw detaches. It moves more. It moves more. It moves more. It moves more.

It's really helping your voice. He's getting so posh. He pops it back in place. I'm so sorry about that. My jaw tends to move a little bit. It doesn't have an accent. And as I spank it gets more. Please come with me quickly. Okay. And he walks you through the ropes residence. You've been here before. Yeah. Wow. How does it feel coming back to this place where perhaps your most morally questionable job took place? Fenton has blocked it out and he steals an ashtray. I was going to steal something.

Oh, damn it. Oh, damn it. We can all steal something. This is totally what we would do. So you're just walking through. Fenton grabs an ashtray. He tries to find the glitteriest ashtray. Yep. You know, the crystal kind. I do. Yeah. Yeah. He shoves it down his pants. It's so sharp. Yeah. You take one of those weird carbon like prism like ashtrays. Shove it down your front of your pants. Fuck. Franklin, what do you take? An edible arrangement. A full edible arrangement? A full edible arrangement.

Where do you hide it? I don't know. I take it in my hands. And you're just holding it. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I pass it off as something I had before. Oh, this? No, I brought this from home. An edible arrangement. I don't go home without it. What is clover steel? A pitcher of juice. So we walk through the kitchen. Like a jug of juice. Yeah. You're taking through the kitchen at the far back of the room.

It's like it was on one of those crystal platters with like little crystal cups. Yeah. I think it's just for guests. So you go, oh, this is for guests. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Through a house. We walked really far to get to this house. We walked from the shitty part of the wall to the good part of the wall. How long does that take, do we think? I don't know. Two hours. Two hours? Yeah, we're really slow.

We kept getting distracted. Flashback for one of the distractions. You know those things where you put a coin in and it circles a drain and drops in that they have at balls? Yeah, we didn't have any coins, but there was a rich family doing it, so you just watched. We're so late. We're like two hours late to this meeting. I learned how to hack the massage chair so we're all just sitting there in the rumbly massage chair. See, if you put a rock in, it will start.

Now we're going to be really relaxed. There's just smoke coming out of the massage chair as a rock rattles around inside. Fent is holding the vase full of yogurt. Yogurt's spilling out all over the place. A lot of the roses are missing petals. They're covered in yogurt. You've stolen a pitcher of juice and you're two hours late for the meeting. Why did you even give them a time? They can't. They could barely read. We just said, okay.

There's probably a list of questions about what food we wanted. Do you have any dietary restrictions? You guys just responded, okay. Okay. Period. Lowercase. Okay. Period. Like a shitty boy with a smiley face. Not even. But I think that that is our asset here, guys. I've met a hundred of these girls. They're worth… You haven't met a hundred girls. I've met a hundred of these kinds of girls. They're worth their weight in gold and they don't understand it.

And they tend to be charmed by absolute pieces of shit guys who show up late, are charmed, but incredibly disorganized. So we play into that and I'm just like, whatever. Oh, was this a flashback? You guys were talking about this on the way over? Yeah. At a certain point, Clover was like, are we super late? No, no, no, no. We're just time blind. We were getting pedicures. We were giving each other pedicures. We were having a pedicure circle. We were in the one in the water.

With your fucking shoes off. Yes. Clipping your toenails. Well, we went in there to get a coin for the thing and then we got distracted by, hey, this is kind of cleaning our feet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's all wash each other's feet. Because you guys all took your shoes off before you won in the fountain. Someone had dumped a bunch of dish soap in there. So there's like, I was like, well, we could just like wash our feet while we're here. When in Rome. Yeah. When in foam.

When in foam, wash your feet. That's what they all say. Yeah. That's the saying. When in foam, wash your feet. Yeah. That's what we teach to the boo club. Yeah. If you ever see foam in a water fountain, take a bath. Take a bath. I mean, somebody added soap for free. Yeah. That's a free bath. When in actuality, it's like a rave that happened the night before. Yeah, there's like, somebody's like pulling a prank on maintenance and you guys are like, free bath. Free bath. But it's Greg.

Greg is the paying a kid to go dump soap in the fountain. And he's like, you know what would be hilarious, kids, is if next time you saw a bunch of bubbles in a fountain, you wouldn't have a bath in there. Wouldn't that be hilarious? Oh, yeah. That's true. Show the authorities. Free bath. Hell yeah, Greg. Getting one over. Oh, thank God. I can't. My air filters are breaking down so rapidly whenever those kids are in here. It smells so bad. Did you know how expensive HEPA is in this world?

I think that's the risky situation. Jeffrey walks you through the kitchen. Beautiful kitchen. Brand new appliances. The fridge has a barbecue dispenser, barbecue sauce dispenser on the outside. Whoa. It's, there's, where the, where the water dispenser is it's barbecue sauce? It's barbecue sauce and chardonnay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a gift from the Fierros, directly installed in the Ropes family. Oh, right. We're not in Penny's house. No, but this was a gift.

Yeah, it's clear that they have a relationship with the Fierros in some way. Yeah, their parents are swingers. Oh, boy. There's a huge bowl on the counter full of keys. Franklin takes some of those keys. Just, oh, free keys. Keys. Just rightfully. Guys, look. Yeah, we start a key fight. Sick fight. I'm going to write that thing in my pencil bag. Start moving keys in each other. I put them in, oh, my knuckles. Fighting like a mini Wolverine. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.