Episode 1 – The Gossip Girls

Hi everyone, it's Fat Billy here. Thanks for coming, listening to our podcast. If you want more podcasts, you can go to patreon.com slash spoutlore, where you can give us some money. And I like money, so I can buy snacks. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight.

Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great pride. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest, they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round. And listen close, for the tale's about to start. Last, we left. We left our heroes in the glade of Heartwood City. Everyone was waiting for me to do something fucked up, I think. I was waiting for you to put on sunglasses. I thought that's what you're opening up.

I looked over and I thought there was going to be a cop puppet. Oh, God, I wish I had prepared enough. But no, I only thought about what we would need for the video production. What about all the props you always have laying around? There's one. I didn't bring them this time. For the listeners, we're recording the sessions for the first time in an attempt to create social content because it is a social media world and we have ignored that for seven years.

And the fact that we're recording the episodes now means, or that we're physically, visually recording. We're filming. Filming. Jesus Christ. This is why that YouTube studio fired us. No, that YouTube studio fired us because a billionaire was… Billionaire was philandering with his employees and he couldn't financially keep us on board.

When last we left our heroes in the glade of Heartwood City beneath the corrupted knowledge tree at the heart of the very forest, and some might say the planet itself, Tuck faced off with the Gibbous Man. A tense conversation passed back and forth, the kernel of which it felt to me, was the Gibbous Man saying, do you even know what you are? And Tuck responded by attempting to crush the Gibbous Man's windpipe. I tried to bum rush him. I tried to bum rush a god and it didn't work.

He just gave me my ex-girlfriend's scarf as a taunt. Exactly. Tuck grabbed onto the Gibbous Man and was unable to make purchase, but instead came away with a silk red scarf that he lost many moons ago. Mm-hmm. Well, I guess in terms of time, it's only been like one moon. Yeah. But, you know, it's been a year and a half in real time.

Beneath the knowledge tree, Billy and Elman were attempting to plant Ollie, the cutting of the original knowledge tree in the earth, choosing a blood-soaked patch of soil that would provide the nourishment required for this new cutting. They began the process of raising a new tree to replace the old one. Oh, Ving was there too. Ving came. Ving came down to help. Wow. I've got… I couldn't remember if Ving was still upstairs, but… You heard it here first. First. You heard it here first.

I could… I forgot that the fight that Ving was a part of was already over. Yeah. And Ving was down here. So, using some Hibernian water, Billy and Ving created a channel between the old tree and the new to attempt to guide the knowledge from the old tree into the new one to begin its life cycle. And because of the deep iconic corruption, Ollie began feeling the force of the demon of greed that lurked within.

Quick thinking, using some sunstone torches to keep the iconic influence at bay, and some fairy trickery. They began the true process of draining the old tree and raising the new one, the only way they could think of to end this iconic influence. Up above on the surface, Tuck saw a new threat coming over the walls. Mm-hmm. Imps. Imps. Hordes of imps. Yeah. Pretty gross. We haven't seen them in a while. Haven't seen them in a while. Got bad reviews from Jessica. Yeah. Zero out of five stars.

Would not… Would not recommend. Would not recommend these imps. Yeah. And also, they started their process of bringing Tuck to five hit points. Yeah. By absolutely just mobbing him. Mm-hmm. Tuck playing the hero, defending the hole into the earth where his family resides. Yeah. Yeah. Tuck's great at blocking a hole. At least that's what Vegas told him so many times. He's a huge hole blocker. I brought you to be a wingman. You're just blocking my hole.

The fight upstairs reflected the fight downstairs as both groups fought tooth and nail to attempt to complete their goal. The… The growing of the tree was going okay while Tuck was being lacerated, mobbed, piled on by imps over and over again. Billy and Ving thought that maybe the best way to complete this process was to enter the fairy. To stop the corruption. To stop the corruption and speak to the spirit of the tree itself without the influence of the demon of greed.

So Billy, using Shadow Dance and Midnight Waltz, brought Ving into the fairy itself. And we got a little bit of insight into not just like the world. Of the spirits and the fairies, but the history and culture of the spirits and the fairies. Learning about a period of time where the fairy itself was accosted, invaded by creatures of I'll intent maliciousness. And also about a story concerning Spider and Hummingbird, two of the primordial gods of the realms. Mm-hmm.

In which we learned that Spider… Spider, aka, we believe, potentially, another name for the Gibbous Man's oldest form, was responsible, inadvertently it sounds, for the death of another god from whom the world grew. Mm-hmm. And also, eyes that walked like men. Mm-hmm. According to the spirit of the knowledge tree. That's very cool. What that means, we're not sure, but we know that the story itself was enough to scare Billy into silence. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And Ving and Billy convinced the tree that the best way… Mm-hmm. To move forward was to remove itself from the tree in the material plane and wander a while to learn about the world while Ving safeguarded its knowledge in preparation for the new tree. Mm-hmm. We came back to the material plane with a knowledge tree seed. Billy, quick thinking as he saw that it needed a place to root, apologized to Ving and placed the seed in Ving's crystal cavern in his chest, which closed over. And then…

Mm-hmm. Runes began to sprout from Ving's body. Mm-hmm. So now his skin is covered in sort of scars that reflect the runes of the knowledge tree. That was also sick. Mm-hmm. Pretty sick. You guys are doing some sick shit. Some magic. Last episode. Man, talk about sick shit. Yeah. Talk about messing up all them imps. Mission imps possible. Imps possible. It was amazing. It was amazing. If you haven't listened to that episode, first of all, what the fuck?

What the fuck are you doing listening to this episode? Spoilers. Start at season 11. That's the best place to start this show. We just started telling people. Back in the material plane, Elman stayed below and attempted to continue ushering Ollie into his new form as Billy and Ving went to the surface. I do remember Ving leaping through the hole like a majestic martial arts hero. Yeah. And Billy kind of climbed up and falling down a few times. Right. Fell back down. I could have. Could have.

Nay, I should have helped you. No, I got to learn to do things myself. This is Ving's way. Okay. So at this point, Tuck has been taken a fucking beating. Oh, yeah. But he's been given as good as he was getting. I was giving like 20 damage per attack. It was pretty unreal. Some would say that you maybe forgot how many hit points the imps had. Oh, no. I had a number. Okay. I had a big number. Yeah. We knew. We were looking at an unending horde of imps. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And at the top of the hole, the rest of the party emerged and a true battle began. Yeah. Tuck took three abilities and lost more than four fifths of his hit points. Yep. And Billy and Ving arrived to deal some damage of their own. And as did Nesh. Yes. Ranger of Nathaniel's Talon. Oh, yeah. The little karate kid. Yeah.

Yeah, tightening his bandana and entering the fight and getting backhanded into the dirt before doing some pretty cool karate. Yeah. Morris and Perel using their various magics to deal damage against their foes. The fight ended as Ving immolated himself and dove through the final massive imp with Larry, Terry, and Chad. As the creature tottered, perhaps finding a second wind with which to deal a mortal blow to our friend, Tuck, a spear sailed through the air, the unbreakable spear. Oh.

Felling the beast and turning, we saw Nathaniel, the Ranger King. So cool. At the top of the hole. Yeah. He said to his long lost son, what took you so long? Before falling to his knees. And that is where we find our heroes now. Or is it? Where do we find the heroes at this point? I think this could be a mid-recovery time. Yeah. Before we set out. I think we should have done guess removal. Yes. Oh, yeah. I like that a lot. I'm applying many wet bandages to Tuck's body. Yeah.

Thinking it's helping. Yeah. They're just wet. They're not. They don't have any medicinal stuff on them. Well, they. I. So I have bowls of chicken soup that I'm dipping the bandages in because I know chicken soup. Very healing. Billy is doing this without Ving's permission. That is for sure. Tuck is passed out. He's not awake. Oh, you're not awake. Not awake. Okay. And on his way to sepsis. Uh-huh. So the big thing that we need to establish. Uh-huh. We kind of talked about it off mic. Yeah.

We're doing a bit of a time jump. A little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just a little bit. So what are we looking at? Three days? One day? Five days? I feel like. A week? Enough time to get us somewhere safe. A week? Yeah. I think a week feels good. A week? A week to 10 days. Okay. So. Okay. I love. Let's do six to nine days. Six to nine days. Nice. 420 hours after the initial. A finale fight. So we can assume as listeners, as fans of the story, you escape from Heartwood City. Yes.

You're probably not sticking around. No. No. Hell no. You've completed your goal. All you needed to do was replace the tree. Yeah. Whatever is going to happen in Heartwood is going to happen. We destroyed elven Christianity. Yep. And this is where my true plan of this podcast comes to fruition. To destroy the Christian religion. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Who are you? Allah. Welcome to Islam, everybody. As-salamu alaykum, motherfuckers.

If you have been listening this long, you are automatically inducted into the realms of Islamism. Uh-oh. What just happened? Did you just all become Muslims? Did you just pull your- Shut up. Right. Jessica, put a hitch up. Oh. Oh.

Okay anyway so I like this a week has passed and we're still recovering I think that speaks to the the nature of the battle because there were probably a few days that were like we got to get out of here yeah if we could see like a montage I imagine you tried to do the billy sneaks around with the fanny pack thing for a while oh yeah for sure like we got tucked away in there for a bit yeah he's like oliver twisting through the alleys of heartwood city and there's blood dripping from the pack holding like a meat bag like oh just coming home from the butcher shop don't worry about this I like also the idea that you maybe just also got distracted by a bunch of buns for a couple of days I did buy buns yeah that's a good crust yeah so I bought buns and then I camped outside the bakery to wait for the fresh buns like it was a new iphone yeah I was like I'm having like afternoon buns morning buns are gonna be something else and we're trapped in the bag is like kicking yes billy listen to what ving's doing cpr on tuck right now just trying to keep him alive uh and we're like fresh buns oh okay so I guess I mean I imagine you're all in the fanny pack uh-huh at this point in time but my question is where's the fanny pack with billy right oh no I think we're set up now I think that was part of it I think at one point you probably you know you strap it around victor's neck I see oh and he runs for a bit yeah yeah cute like a french canadian dog exactly I like that and now now you are in a relatively safe place and I think we would know like because dathaniel is still like the ranger king he probably knows like go here to be safe oh what oh I was just gonna say he he's like go find the wicks because they're they're such like shit right because they reject elvin like royalty and culture and stuff cool that's a safe house they have like a ranch like yeah preppers kind of kind of yeah I like that okay so there's a wick or like maybe a couple like I think I like the idea that there is a member of the wick family who's fully off the grid walter wick walter wick I like john wick no sean wick you're you're you're we're approaching the origin of the name shathane oh yeah uh so walter wick walt wick walt wick hell yeah like walt whitman yeah cool leaves of grass yeah okay so I think what what we're gonna do then is that if we are a camera we see the fanny pack unfolded into the tent sitting in like a kind of cleared field in a in the woods in the distance there's a log cabin of a very like sturdy almost unelven construction there are animals a berm behind the cabin it looks like a natural berm yeah and there's a lot of trees like small trees growing out of it it looks like a little lump maybe shouldn't be there exactly you're like what's that what's that thing doing back there oh like a little a little mound yeah okay cool cool there are some animals grazing in this clearing uh what kind of animals are there it's an alpaca it's a bunch of alpacas there's like four or five alpacas oh yeah this is strange and there's a peacocks here yeah you're like what are these things doing in the woods there's some uh silver uh messenger doves messenger pigeons yeah I like that a lot yeah they're like in the branches of the trees on the edge of the clearing and flying squirrels just like crossing over top little flying squirrels all over the place remember clarence yeah the rest of the flying squirrels oh you didn't you never activated them yeah we probably did that in the time yeah we see a montage of billy going to the the stable and going get out of here yeah that's true or maybe they free themselves because of that one guy we empowered to free everybody else right like all the other people that are that one guy we empowered to free everybody else right like all the other people that are animals freed the animals warthog there was a jumanji scene as all the animals went through the city yeah oh yeah in the animal scene that's when the flying squirrels took advantage of the chaos oh yes oh that's so fun yeah so heartwood was in pandemonium for a while yeah there's scenes like a donkey riding the back of a giant flying squirrel whoa that jean valjean the donkey yeah it was it was jerek the donkey yeah the donkey I love that this is such a full examination of the fact that these characters never deal with the consequences of their actions because you just left heartwood and who knows what happened that's their problem now I like it a lot that's their fucking problem deal with it I I also imagined billy at a certain point like when in the days that we were trapped in the fanny pack went and like snuck into finn's room I was gonna say some finn wrap up yeah I was like billy was trying to wrap everything up so he freed and made a convincing illusion that finn's mom was dead so billy spent three days in heartwood ignoring what ving and tuck told him to do the first day was bun related first day was bun second day was also bun for half the day I had to stock up oh you did a bun bun fun day yeah and then he had a solo picnic for a few hours with the buns I like that he calls it a fun sandwich because it's bun fun and then another bun exactly and then he went to uh oh my god what's this stupid finn's stupid house and he cut a bunch of holes in finn's clothes this is the most like traditionally fairy like billy's ever been as in like a folklore fairy just terrorizing a kid in his house he also traded a bun to a fairy to haunt the finn's room for a while oh nice I like that that fairy lives in a dead fish so it haunts him and it smells bad it smells like it one day we'll do like a little adventure that's just billy's three days on his own in heartwood city yeah that's great um and then uh billy got found out by one of the housemaids and got shooed away with a broom so then that's when he took off into the woods yeah switched with victor yep and then victor took off yeah because billy ran a few blocks and he's like I don't want to run anymore I'm so tired a few blocks he just stopped I guess I live in heartwood now I imagine you opening the bag like weeping and we're like billy what happened and you're like I ran too long and we're like a half a block away from finn's house where were you guys I had to run we've got to encourage more exercise somehow he's such an unhealthy little kid oh my god uh okay so that is where we see the fanny pack and inside this is where we find billy applying chicken suit bandages morrison perel going about their domestic lives they're working on something by the way it seems like morrison perel are working on a project that they are keeping to themselves yeah they work on it really hard at night yeah mostly working on it without any clothes on I'm surprised that their bed frame can handle how much they're working on this project weird billy's giving them a lot of privacy uh so like you've been with dethaniel dethaniel's been here for a week but he's also as sick as so he's in full recovery as well I think he's walking like with a cane basically like he is yeah fucked up I was just gonna say I bet he's been like in like council kind of with uh walt wick oh he's been like in the house totally talking to his cousin basically yeah yeah because walt will will obviously like to host us he's gotta know what's going on yeah walt like is kind of a safe person to talk to because he's just like not uh what do you call it he has no allegiances yes yeah I imagine that I imagine walt kind of like bill from the last of us yeah like he mostly he's like whatever is best for the woods yeah but he's also like leave me alone you come on my land I will take you down like stay away which is why we're not allowed to camp in the house he's like you can stay over there you can stay with the alpaca you can stay with the alpaca you can stay with the alpaca you can stay with the alpaca but do not touch the alpacas it looks so soft and in the same way sorry as a prepper he's very good at like um the medical side of stuff he's he's very self-sufficient and he has all the things so he's been taking care of dathaniel nursing him back to health as well totally yeah and like figuring out what perel did to him to keep him alive uh-huh yeah because like yeah I realized I thought I didn't mention it but I did mention it I didn't mention it I didn't mention it kind of mentioned you did so he used pieces of his functional organs to repair his heart right so he basically trant like transmuted different parts of his body his heart doesn't work like a normal heart anymore yeah oh and to answer your question how he looks um he looks like a previously very athletic person who has been in atrophy for a long time so he's pretty he's pretty lean paul very proudly pointed at himself I got really fat when I broke my leg this guy's atrophied to fuck right now fucking atrophied as shit uh so I think you can see like the suggestion of a great physicality but just in massive decline so he's like he's looks like he's cold all the time he's pretty gaunt long beard big beard yeah his beard's pretty long it is even his hair is probably very long yes and it's great mostly or just silver white kind of thing yeah oh yeah yeah because he was black haired for his entire life he was he's pretty he's kind of iron gray actually okay but um but I mean but that is the gibbous that was the gibbous man's disguise I know this and then the stress of being connected to that tree and the disconnect to that like I think that he is getting really silvery I like that yeah totally I also imagine there were like a couple of times when he like overexerted himself and just passed out because like the blood pressure like his ability to maintain his own blood pressure is like fuck yeah like like a proud old man like a proud old man anytime that he has had a problem since you've been hanging out with him and you've tried to help him he's gotten very angry he seems very frustrated with the fact that he has almost no control over his body and that's sort of been you were hoping in a way ving that there would be like this reconnection but it seems like yeah it's been very difficult I think ving would be anticipating that but hoping that maybe it wouldn't wasn't that way so maybe he's a little disappointed in the fact that he's not surprised right so it's something I was thinking about was it sounds like by coming to walt's place you're sort of or at least dathaniel is probably like we should we got to tell the wicks what's going on because they'll be the ones that are most likely to be prepared to move on the court yeah whether or not you want to be involved in that is up to you yeah I mean I don't I also don't yeah I again I like the idea that you're like hey great forest here is the thing that you need to be dealing with yeah we're gonna go I think that's more of a what do you think yeah I would think so I'm trying to balance that between ving now being like having it written on his body but also he's never cared about the core of the woods that's for sure yeah like he'd be really inclined to leave talking about being written on your skin is a good point to introduce the fact that ving is now a new playbook yeah and that playbook is the vox silvi oh so fucking cool every time I hear it yeah pretty cool voice of the forest yeah we don't have to go into the specific moves until we use them but uh what's the basic overview of the vox silvi that he's basically um a living tree of wisdom he embodies all of the druidic knowledge and all of the wisdom of nature the core moves that we'll go over when they come up are like your ability to tap into all of the collected druidic knowledge of the land and of like hit the history of your people and also your ability to lend voice to the spirits yeah you can help them speak to other people you can give them bodies to walk around yeah I'm allowing the spirits not just walking with me but allowing them to walk on their own yeah they almost like manifest around me the influence of ving now is bringing forth the spirits representations into the world that's so cool I didn't think about that until just now that's yeah and it kind of makes sense too with the fact that the walls between the worlds are like starting to fall apart you're able to like usher from the spiritual plane directly into like our world maybe that's an advanced move I like that a lot and I also think that every time that fairy that billy the little fairy billy has taken a walk through like every time we've done that has just made that it's made it feel easier for you it's easier it's just like it's just I'm walking more in that world at all times now and I guess you would like you would be able to learn kind of like how to do that like sometimes when he's really feeling it like in the moment you know and I'm not a meditative state or a picture I just pictured him walking through the forest and like a a young willow tree bends down in the shape of a wall like a deer and kind of follows and then fades again as he's passing like things are just spiritually druidically manifesting around him yeah I like that a lot that's very cool totally yeah like a princess mononoke stepping into like yeah yeah totoro yeah very totory totory oh no you set me up I do imagine there's like a night where you kind of like went for a walk like it was foggy and like in the fog like all of like impressions of every spirit that was coming to like talk to you yeah the mist is soothing the new scars on your skin yeah you're feeling like the blending of your form with the forest around you I really like that I really like this hell yeah and yeah in the in the mist there the suggestions of animals as they attempt to break through follow your guidance into the material world that's a cool idea where it's like ving is like is a door so he can like keep them back or usher them through yes this is a great way of thinking about it and he's done this in the past with the snake spirits gave them he empowered them to pass through into the material the bear I bet oh my god Maybe that was like the snake thing was like a thing to come.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. The snakes are a very strong open. Mm-hmm. Pretty cool. And mentioning Billy's fairy-ness and the passing through of places helping Ving sort of soften this transition into this new state is a perfect opportunity to have the camera pan over to Billy as he's patting chicken soup soaked bandages onto Tuck and talk about Billy's new class, which is… The Changeling. Ooh. Thank you, Polar, for that idea. Yes, that was Polar's idea. Pretty sick. Whoa, nice.

I was already leaning towards that, but he suggested it and I was like, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, pretty cool. So what are the overarching ideas of The Changeling? I guess like the freeze on Billy is over. Like he's moving into like the changing of the seasons that like fairies naturally go through. Mm-hmm. Ooh. Yeah. Is it like a thing you're in control of? No longer. Okay. Not really. Okay. And I think it's going to be a slow.

It's a slow process, which is kind of why like he has some control over it, but not a lot. Okay. He's going to look the same, except like I was saying earlier, like if he's in his winter form, he's just going to look a little frosty and stuff like that. There's frost where there wasn't frost before. Look like a little Malfoy. No. Tips. The tips. Frosted tips. Yeah, frosted tips.

So the idea of The Changeling, I think, as Jessica and I talked about it, is that Billy's been trapped in his spring form for so long that now that this change is possible, he's kind of rapidly passing through each of them in a more unstable manner than is natural for a fairy. Basically, like you said, Billy has a degree of control over it, but the main control he has is whether or not he wants a change to happen, not what change he wants to happen.

So he has four different seasons that he can pass into, but he doesn't get to decide which season he passes into. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And sort of like how Fairy Child renews every day. Oh. He has that option. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting.

I kind of imagine it like it's like there's been a bunch of water pushing on a water wheel for so long. Yeah. And it like the peg got knocked loose and you can kind of like jam it in every once in a while and lock it, but you can't kind of choose. That's kind of what it's like. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. But he's still keeping like kind of the mischievous part of himself. Yeah. For sure, because the boy, capital T, capital B, is still kind of in play, but his hold on the situation is also loosening.

So it's still a little baby boy Billy, but just inundated with the power of all four seasons. And then also, he's becoming more comfortable with more natural aspects of fairydom, such as creating rings. Fairy rings. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Pretty sick. What's a little scene like Ving in the Forest with the Mist that sort of shows how Billy has begun coming to terms with this change? So Billy stocked up on a lot of buns and some other things, too. And they were starting to get kind of moldy.

And so Ving was like, you got to get rid of them. Billy's like, no. So he built his own fairy ring around the buns. He's like, you can't touch them now. Ving tried to cross over to throw out the buns. Yeah. Couldn't do it. That's the Vox Silva. I am a door. I can't find the door. I can't find the door. You throw those buns. Don't eat that bun. You put that bun down. And the bun is like so blue. And Billy's like, no. You don't eat that. Put that down.

Billy's in his summer, like with hair the color of ripe wheat and just like eating old buns. Like, you can't stop me. And totally naked. Billy, get back here. Put your clothes back on. He's playing with a knife. Maybe. A knife. A knife. A knife. Yeah. Cut to diarrhea. Yeah. Cut to six hours later. He's in his autumn form and just shitting. In the stream. Ving's rubbing his back. I know, Billy. I know. There, there. It's okay. His dead leaves fall from his hair. Beautiful. Stunning. Stunning.

And the camera pans from the patter of the bandages. To the patty of the bandages. As Tuck lies there. Still recovering. Probably conscious at this point. I actually think Tuck is still unconscious. Oh, damn. Did we. Did like Ving or like Perala or someone put you in like a little slumber? I think so. Cause Tuck was like on death's doorstep when the fight ended. He was, yeah. Like Dathaniel threw the spear and he said that cool line. And Tuck was like, man, all's well that ends well. And then.

And fell face first. In a puddle of somebody else's blood. Coughed up a gout of blood. Yeah. Just immediately puked so much blood. Oh my God. And then he was like. Oh Lord. You know when you puke and then you freak out. Yes. It's so scary. Yeah. It's like that Tim Robinson sketch where he's choking on the hot dog. And Tuck starts like flailing. And everyone gets scared. Trying to hold him down. No, no, no, no, no. He's like a wild animal. So they put him into a coma so they could treat him.

Yeah. Okay. So then we're, I guess we're in kind of like the infirmary zone. Yeah. Tuck's been on a cot for days. Yeah. And he's been dreaming nonstop. All right. Let's see those dreams. As we talk about Tuck's new class. The Truthless. Yeah. Very cool. What's the overarching idea of the Truthless? It's like leaning further into the truth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Has an absence of truth inside of him is like it kind of relates to a lot of the stuff that happened at the end of last season where like the iconic influences couldn't gain purchase on him and like he's always had kind of like a natural resistance to like the more metaphysical forces yeah the class is sort of all about that then let's see a little bit of this dream that tuck's been having I think it is the dream oh okay so we're on a burning hillside yes yeah like it's sort of iterated before it was like just the land rending and like being destroyed and then it started to encompass like my friends and family and then I think like the burning tree is now like ever present in it like if you try and escape it you always end up back at the burning tree yeah and then like even when you kind of like get really far away it is like the sky entire is just like an image of like branches on fire and then I think like sometimes it does like uh the sky feels angry and this is something that tuck saw during one of his visions and has accompanied you in this dream is every once in a while you see standing beneath the burning tree the shadow of another oh right but you are you find yourself unable to approach the figure or get a good look at them it's the kind of thing where you try and walk around them and it just keep it continues to be the same thing they're back exactly yeah so what has tuck been doing in this dream he's just been like running through the cycle over and over again maybe that's where we come in truly to like the present okay is you're running through the cycle which feels it feels like for the billionth time like you've been here for eternity right you come up the hill the tree is burning you see a person standing beneath it you see billy and ving and all of the people that you've come to love in this world consumed by the roiling earth yeah sometimes he tries to save them sometimes he like runs away before it happens sometimes he tries to get to the tree and he can't make it there sometimes he tries to catch the figure and the figure doesn't exist and what do you do how does this last cycle end I think I think he gives up this time yeah yeah so you just you just give in yeah he's just tired so he sits on the ground lays on the ground and he's like I'm gonna go to bed I'm gonna go to bed and he's like I'm gonna go to bed I'm gonna go to bed I'm gonna go to bed I'm gonna go to bed I'm gonna go to bed as the soil consumes him yeah and as you startle awake for just the briefest of seconds you feel as if your wrists are bound in chain and then you wake and billy is patting chicken so you see you reek of chicken soup absolutely reek of it and billy's standing in like in front of you I'm wrapping his wrist in in soup bandage I'm like are you tying my wrists together billy I'm not I'm just fixing like your owies slash he's away oh did they take my wrist braces off I think that's maybe what you wake to is billy is like trying to take your bracer off so he can put the bandages on I think they were we took them off because they're so swollen and you had a hatchet through one yeah yeah so everything's off okay so your leather wrist straps are off yeah uh what's the big deal the first time oh yeah tuck doesn't ever take them off oh right yeah so what do they see underneath the bracers you see pretty heavy scarring around both wrists oh yeah oh yeah bill you take off the wrist straps and you see all the way around like a ring of scar tissue oh on both arms and tuck you wake up and billy is wrapping a bandage around your bare wrist uh I think tuck kind of instinctively like pulls back his hands and like shoves them under the arm and he's like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry the blankets and he's like whoa billy hey there's a lot of chicken soup in the bed well I mean ving said that chicken soup usually makes people feel better so I thought I'd just use both you know both what bandage and soup for super healing super healers super this might be my fault and it's working because you're awake now Yeah yes you know what Can I get a bowl Of just chicken soup With no bandages in it Billy like so there's a lot of bowls Cause the page has been making Soup So Billy wheels in a fresher one I haven't touched this one yet Oh thank you The bed is soaked Oh yeah saturated Like all the way through There's not a fiber that is Without soup I like the idea that the Entire room is surrounded in a fairy ring And Vang's like Please can I come in there now He's awake Yeah you can come in How long have we been trapped in here 30 minutes 30 very long Vang said he was taking a nap And to watch over you You did a great job until you started Pouring chicken soup into his wounds You did a really Really good job Billy And then Tuck beckons Vang over As he like lies back down And he's He's just like Why did you leave him unsupervised With soup I didn't I left him unsupervised With bandages You know bad things happen When he just has unfettered access To soup He's been all in this bun train I didn't think he would go back to soup Soup Soup We promised each other We would never let this happen again Flashback 2 Yeah flashback 2 Vang is literally drowning in chili We went to a chili festival Where there was a giant vat of chili Like enormous And Billy did a switcheroo That went really wrong So you're all together Yep So what happened How long have I been passed out for I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know Three days Oh We're safe We're outside of the city We're with The Wicks Walter Wick Is Dathaniel okay Or is he Dathaniel's He's getting better He's still very weak He doesn't have a lot of answers Yet But It seems like he was maybe Under the tree for a long Long time Have you had a chance to talk to him Not Of any significance Just a little bit here and there He's Just so proud And I think scared And feeling weak So he's not opening up And I'm not interested in pushing him right now What about the gash Yeah Right What about that gash What What I Your gash is as good as mine I don't know what to do about this thing He's still the ranger king Is he not Yeah so we talked about it a little bit It's basically Up in the air Whether or not it still applies Because the gash was sworn When someone else was the ranger king Yeah So why don't we send word Can I send word to the druidic council Oh that's a good idea Yeah you could send word Don't we still have Oman We have two Because Oman came back Right Two moths So you could technically send one of them to Hibernia Oh sorry I just forgot about The Uh Thunderbird Oh yeah Thunderbird Yeah Thunderbird would be a great representative To send to Hibernia Oh yeah Oh yeah Oh you could send Cloudpiercer You could send Dathaniel with Cloudpiercer even And he would be totally down to Remove Price on my head Yeah exactly And would have a much easier time Entering A magical Fog that keeps people away Just be like Here we go So happy That I remembered About that Thunderbird Yeah Thank god So are the listeners Yeah Jeez Thanks guys We were about to have a real Why didn't Frodo just ride The eagles moment Oh yeah Okay so is that what we're thinking Like after some recovery The party will Briefly go to Hibernia I think so I can deal with the gash I think we need to I think we've been talking about this We're going to have to do this We're going to have to do this We're going to have to do this We're going to have to do this We're just like How do we fucking do it With this gash It's like And then you see Ving Just kind of like looking And then he He looks up in the sky And you hear a hawk Inside of his head go Yeah And Tuck says this to you guys He's like I think the only way That we'll feel okay Dealing with all the other stuff And by that he means The fact that the god of the sky Is trying to kill the world The whatever Yeah Is if we know for sure That the gash is done So we have to go back To Hibernia Yes Billy loves going to Hibernia It's true Yeah You have so many buns To put in your cave Yeah He's already gone To pack his buns Just shoving him Into a suitcase Where'd you get that suitcase?

I wouldn't worry about it It's Finn's suitcase It's Finn Yeah It says like F V or whatever His last name is And Galiar Um Yeah Fanny Pack And Nathaniel Has re-entered I imagine someone was like Hey we gotta We gotta talk Is Walt in here? Walt is not in here Walt would not come In the Fanny Pack In a million years We see We see Walt outside Brushing an alpaca Glaring at the Fanny Pack What's some stuff He's saying to the alpaca?

They'll be gone soon My love Don't worry my dear You'll never have to smell Those gross humans Ever again Such a weird Weirdo No it's not It's more It's an affectionate thing You know like you call a pet My dear My darling Not I'm not in love With an alpaca She glares at him I'm not From in the tent Tuck like ducks out For a second He's like Are you in love With that alpaca?

No My heart has been Closed to love For nigh on 200 years Shoshanna Go back and chat Shoshanna Shoshanna Shoshanna Shoshanna Shoshanna Shoshanna He turns away And grips a fist In front of his face And goes Shoshanna I want an episode Just on Walt Yeah Thank you Just sitting in his cabin Being grouchy Uh huh And inside the fanny pack Another wanderer Comes into his house He makes him rabbit And a fine wine He plays a Melinda Rodstadt Song on a piano And they fuck hard For years I never did get her name In the fanny pack In the city In the city In the city In the city In the city In the city In the city In the city In the city In the city Around the table In fireplace zone Of the observatory Section that we've Spent most of our time in In the fanny pack Victor is curled up In front of the fire His massive lupine form Only visible Because of the The edges of light Playing along his fur Dathaniel sits In a chair Honestly like Cold sick old man Looking He's got a blanket Kind of around his shoulders Like a Like a shawl He's gripping A length of blackthorn That he's cut As like a walking stick Oh Cool Him and Ving are playing cards Yeah What Cool yeah They just got a deck of cards Between them Yeah Hibernia Yeah To prove to them That I'm Not dead But also not The ranger king Yeah how do you feel about that He throws down a card And gets like The advantage on you In this game Ving picks up three He throws down a blue four And a blue three And then looks at his hand Ving goes fuck And rips one of his cards in half And throws it over his shoulder That was my favorite one And then tuck Tuck over on the other card She's just like What fucking game is this Oh no Dathaniel Picks up four cards Looks at them Puts down two Reaches over Slaps Ving lightly on the face How you just Got a Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten Ten I'm happy to go to Hibernia if it means that we can just move past this I mean unless there's another way of proving to them that the Ranger King is no more thinks switcheroos I don't want my mistakes to lead to your death it's not safe he throws down five cards picks up five more cards and then folds one up and puts it in his pocket I'll go we don't have to talk about it and he puts his cards down takes the one gives it a gentle kiss, throws it in the fire stands up with his cane tell me when we're there I concede and he walks off into the fanny pack to rest Tuck just leans in after D'Athena walks away and he's like so did you win or what happened in that?

No he he kissed the card that was the queen of trees he threw in the fire so he conceded but by conceding he won fuck yeah yeah totally I really like that as like his final move in the game because in D'Athena's mind he thinks by giving himself up to the council that's how he'll overcome this oh that is really cool where he's like the only move he has left is to intentionally lose because it's a pride thing where he's just like you don't get to decide when my story ends I do who in the queen of trees is his mom yeah fun and Morris closes his book goes that's your dad huh yeah I see where you get it sorry what anyway so we should be making preparations to head out I'm all packed just buns squeezing out of the seam of a suitcase what are you reading?

It is a it's like a historical fiction fantasy romance oh and Billy starts turning the pages like are there pictures? You're getting crumbs all over it there there's a lot of things actually there are pictures there are quite a lot of pictures can I see?

And he climbs up like make room and he sort of shifts over like a he shifts his arm up like an uncle as you come and sit on his leg and he holds the book in front of you Tuck leans over and just rips out the last fourth of the book because he's read this one he throws it into the fire it's like you don't get to see those pictures Billy Morris like chokes as you rip a bunch of pages out of a book well now I don't want to read it anymore and Billy takes his bags and gets off Morris I don't want to read it anymore either and he throws the rest into the fire I don't want to be around anybody and Morris and Billy storm off into the fanny pack to go mope uh okay so are we packing up?

Yeah I think as we're packing up who would I talk to? I feel like Tuck's been asleep for basically a week so he kind of wants to talk to somebody to just be like what the fuck what happened?

Maybe talk to Walt or Nathaniel yeah he's seeing oh yeah right I think that makes sense rather than us oh yeah actually Tuck might want to talk to Nathaniel yeah because Nathaniel was like hooked up to the tree for a long time yeah maybe Tuck is looking for answers on what the fuck the gibbous man was talking about yeah because maybe that kept coming back in the dream where he was just like what are you? Yeah what was the thing that he asked you again? He said do they know what you are?

Right and then he said do you? And then Tuck got really mad when he said it and just rushed him right like he got unreasonably mad at the question and he doesn't really understand why so yeah I think who should who would be the best person to talk to? Is it Nathaniel?

I think so he's been the closest with the gibbous man for the longest yeah and also Tuck doesn't want Billy or Ving to know any of this and he feels like if he talked to Perel or Morris they might like they might blab about it yeah they're fucking gossipy bitches yeah like they're like they're such little like loose lips they're wizards why would they hide anything from they're lessers but they love gossip they love gossip who doesn't?

Right the hotter the gossip the better before that tense conversation we were talking to them and we were like yeah we found out that like Ving's mom was killed by his dad but kind of by accident and they were like no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no! Throws his book that closes it, puts a bookmark in and turns the light on. I think he's gonna kill himself to save his son. Just a wife. I think he's gonna kill himself because he accidentally killed his ex-wife.

This is just too much. Perel's like, I gotta see this for myself. And Morris is like, you gotta play it cool. No, we both have to go see it. You gotta play it cool. And then all of a sudden a painting in the room where they're playing cards, the eyelids come up and he's two. Two different colored eyes. Two eyes moving in different directions. And it's like, but they're being like shoved out of the way.

There's a series of flashbacks immediately after this tense scene of like, the gramophone is quietly playing behind Ving and Nathaniel and then you see like the pipe running out behind the gramophone through the wall and then they're like connected to it. A two-way gramophone. All of the events in the last season, but you just cut to the fanny pack and Morris and Perel have their ears pressed against the opening. Oh my god. He loves gossip so much he's engineered this to be a huge gossip palace.

It's that little thin kid again. Out of the way. That's why Morris was like, eventually they got into the sitting room and that's why Morris is reading that book because he's like, I gotta play it cool. They were playing it cool. He just grabbed a book off the shelf and it was porn. He was like, oh. Oh no, I can't believe I grabbed this one. He's like, well, I've committed to it. And then he low-key freaked out when Billy was like, what are you reading? So he flipped to ads.

Went to the table of contents. The ads. Are you reading a book about supplements? Morris, what's vitamin B12? Well, Billy, it's the twelfth of the B vitamins. Oh. Okay, so Tuck is going to speak to Nathaniel. He's chosen a room for himself, just took it over without talking to anybody. It's a recovery room. He's doing physio sort of stuff. Yeah, totally. He's got little bars for stretching his legs and all that.

Oh yeah, Tuck walks in on him trying to do a dexterity exercise that he keeps fucking up. Oh, he's got his blackthorn walking stick in his hand and he's trying to spin it over the back of his hand, flip it and catch it, flip it and catch it for manual dexterity. And as you walk in, he drops it. Yeah. He goes like, fuck, and crouches down and picks it up. Slowly crouches. Yeah. So Tuck walks in and he sees Nathaniel drop the can and he's like, pretty sick move, bro. Did you need something?

Yeah, I just came in here because you got the exercise station in here, so I came in here to do some exercise. He's just staring at you now. He's like, yeah, I gotta do the physio stuff. I don't know if you know, but I got all fucked up back there pretty bad. And then what's the machine that's closest? Can I roll it? Bowflex. There's a bowflex? It's a long bowflex. It's got a bow on it and you pull down on it. For like… Oh, he's got it set up to try to get his bow drawn.

It's on a bow on a stand. And it's like a 200 pound pull kind of thing. It's like insane. Uh-huh. Just do it. Oh, is this thing on? I broke your thing. Sorry, bro. Yeah. That's what it is. You hear Nathaniel go like, huh. And then Tuck doesn't realize he's broken it, so he just grabs the top of the bow and he starts like reefing on it. He's just like, whoa. This thing's nuts, dude. I feel stronger already. Oh, man. I feel so healthy now. Is there something I can help you with?

Um, yeah, just you were hooked up to that tree for a long time, hey? Yup. What, uh… Were you like… Were you in there for all of it? Or what was going on? Yup. I was conscious for all of it. Uh… That was probably not good, right? Tuck is just… He's aware that he's talking to a living legend. Like, he's heard songs about Nathaniel. I just wanna be sure you need an answer to that question. The… I, um… Just wanted to ask you if you, like, could…

Did you, like, ever talk to the Gibbous Man? Um… Or did you know, like, did you know what his plans were? Could you tell what he was thinking or doing or anything? I spoke to him once. Whoa. When he offered me the deal. Whoa! What? Sorry, I'm not there. No, I know, but… I'm just reacting. I mean, Jessica is right there. Tuck walks over and he, like, picks up, like, a long piece of wood and he puts it against a portrait that has the eyes, Mer? And you hear a bunch of thumping behind the wall.

He's like, uh… Tuck's like, what deal? I didn't know who he was at the time. He offered to help me with the court. I'm sure thing has filled you in on all of my various failures and mistakes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, no. No, and then Tuck is just like, yeah, no, I have I did not. He didn't tell me anything or… He said you were great. He said you're fucking so good. See, now I know you're lying.

Anyway, he offered me an opportunity to make progress in my plans to enact what Ileana had always recommended that the power go back to me. Back to the wood. Back to the people. And I agreed. You took the deal? Yes. But what I didn't know was that Wendy had also taken a deal. To kill you? Yes. To kill me. Or put me in a more easily exploitable state, as it were. Did you get a coin? No. No. When you took the deal? No. Okay.

It wasn't until the arrow struck home that I realized the gravity of my mistake. I… He like leans forward with his staff, with his stick a little bit, and in a way that naturally makes you lean in a little. Mm-hmm. Tuck puckers his lip. Just licks his lip? Tuck does the thing where he just… Tuck does the thing where he just… Tuck does the thing where he just… He just does the thing where he like… He pinches his cheeks a little. Make him rosy? Yeah. Dude, Dathaniel is so hot.

I don't think you guys… Like, part of Tuck being weird when he came in here was like, Dathaniel's famous, he's Ving's dad, but also part of it is like, Dathaniel's a fucking smoke show. Smoking. Like, it's crazy. Tuck's gone on such a journey over the course of this show. I feel like he has not changed at all. He just sees shapes and he's like, I like those shapes. I think he's like, I like those shapes. I think he's like, I like those shapes. I think he's like, I like those shapes.

I think he's like, I like those shapes. It's so many. Everybody's such a cool shape. There's a ton of shapes. There's a ton of shapes. There's a ton of shapes. There's a ton of shapes. There's a ton of shapes. There's a ton of shapes. There's a ton of shapes.

Shape yeah I saw a dress on a bag of garbage one time awesome shape flown around in the wind so much used to call me the litter bug you know what I mean so much fucking beauty yeah he wants I just imagine like shapely garbage and you're like whoa yeah you know what I grew up in the streets can't escape my past you could take the boy out of the streets but you can't take the streets out of the boy you know what I mean and as you lean in when I lean out I do the thing where I look at his eyes and then I look at his lips really quick and then I look back at his eyes and then my eyes get really wide and then in his head he's like oh my god I want to fuck bing's dad holy shit oh what is that okay do you think bing would be okay with oh my god I think it'd be weird for dethaniel if I'd already fucked his I haven't wait I haven't fucked I just think about it all the time wait what's going on he's talking he's been talking this whole time and I haven't listened to one word he said and chuck goes oh no the exposition and as you come back to reality dethaniel says and that's really what happened to bing's mother and her true identity talk you idiot please let that be what he says I love it oh it'd be so funny if like if tuck had to roll to remember what yeah at a later date to try and go through the information that's the Spout Lore yeah tuck's gonna spell or now in his own mind palace to see if it's in there I had a thing I was gonna say guys no this is funny though 2d6 plus wisdom I guess yeah sweet my negative one remains uh eight so does he actually say this is what really happened to him to bing's mom the true nature of her identity but he does say that but it's because he notices that I totally spaced out and he just said he just said that he just tried to fuck with you so yeah on a seven to nine with this defy danger you do catch the thing that he actually said uh before he decided to fuck with you a little bit which was my son trusts you would follow you anywhere but if you go up against the gibbous man go alone and tuck uh he like takes a second and he like listens to make sure nobody's in the walls we're all pushing each other in hallways and more is trying to like create another like portal to another painting that might be in the room yeah you guys are running you're like scurrying sideways down really narrow and like billy's trying to like get underfoot to get there first billy get out billy no get out of the way no I if you're gonna listen I want to listen too I can't listen if you don't let me get there and make a hole but you never make a hole for me that's because gossip is only as valuable as how few people know about this is that true he's cooking something in the kitchen like they can hear you he's not he's not interested in we're just in the pantry and ving is making an omelet come help me you're on your own back you can do it I believe in you but you're on your own victor's doing that thing when dogs see other people play fighting where he starts hopping up on his back legs a little bit humping them I will dominate I will dominate gossip are you going to gossip your brains out did you know that once dogs were not wolves this is gossip I give you the first dog was chihuahua we cut back to nathaniel's room oh yeah so yeah it talks like yeah I know I don't think they're they wouldn't be able to stay this quiet and uh when nathaniel says like go alone tuck leans in and like he fixes his his eyes and he's like that's the plan then you'll nods you can see in his eyes deep respect for at least a moment and then he looks over at his bow flex snapped in half and looks back he looks back at tuck and tuck is looking at his lips when he looks back I like make I'd make eye contact he just sees your eyes stop moving and can guess where they were yes I'm pretty tired and tuck goes okay look I'll leave you alone but I I do need I need to ask you a question if you are connected to the gibbous man is it possible do you know what I am oh this is a role um I think so and I think I think it's I think it's the kind of role where we the role is not is dathaniel gonna tell you it's what does he know yeah whoa um sorry I guess it would be Spout Lore yeah 2d6 plus intelligence it's seven okay he like looks like he's contemplating for a second looking into that part of his mind that he has clearly been trying to block out for the last few days And he says, I don't know what you were before, but now you're nothing.

Okay. Ouch. Whoa, that's so mean. I mean, I think with what Tuck has been thinking about, what he means by nothing is up for debate. Yes. Okay. And also, there's something that really reverberates with Tuck as he leaves. Before. Whoa. Before what? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I realize that. As you leave? As I leave. And then, yeah, he's like, wait, before? What the fuck? Because he just, the thing that he really heard was, you're nothing from like a famous guy who he kind of wants to fuck. Kind of?

Don't backpedal. You were hounding for. More than a second ago. He's got an energy. He does have an energy about him. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well. Oh, can I do one thing before I leave? Hell yeah. So, as I'm about to go, I pick up the Blackthorn staff and I throw it at him real quick. His hand, as if by instinct, snaps up and catches it. And then Tuck like, snaps and like does finger guns at him. And then feels that that was the thing that ruined a cool moment.

And then he goes, he starts moonwalking out of the room. Oh no. Throws him another gun and moonwalks. And then he wakes. And then he does a flourishing bow. Oh God. And he pretends to tip his fedora at him. And Billy and Morris and Perel have come out into that area at that point. And they witness all this. They witness Tuck moonwalking out of the room. Yeah. Just as Bing was walking up with an omelet for his dad. Yeah. Oh my God. And then he also saw everything.

And then we watch as he flips a fake fedora. And then Tuck spins out of the room and then collapses in the hallway. Oh my God. What did I do? What did I do? And Morris and Perel both look at each other like, we're going to talk about this later. The gossip girls have got my number now. No. So do we hop on the bird or is there more stuff in the fanny pack you guys want to do? Or more stuff with Walt? I mean, like I am curious, but like this Walt Wick. Yeah. I just don't know what to say or add.

So he's, yeah, he is a member of this community, but he identifies as an outsider. He's a castaway on purpose. Which sounds like what most of the Wicks are. Yeah. He's definitely a conspiracy guy. Oh, totally. Yeah. He's like the Ghostbuster. He's the Egon Scheele who's been living out that everyone thinks is crazy that maybe some of his ideas are true. Right. Yeah. He's like, I've seen some fucked up things in these woods. I've seen spirit animals coming out of nowhere. Oh yeah. Whoa.

I've seen creatures of night making deals. Yeah. You guys could definitely go talk to Walt. I picture him too with those two big brushes, the big square brushes that you make wool with. Oh yeah. And he's making in tongues and muttering about things of the governmentship while he's making alpaca wool. Yeah. I can't live in hardwood shitting anymore, mostly because of the taxes, but also because of my outstanding warrants. But that's what the government wants.

The government wants to put tags on you and tell you what a man can and cannot do. Hold still, Delilah. This is a man who Detherial trusts with his life. Yes. Yeah. Because what you don't see is that every square foot of this forest has a tree. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. Foot of this forest for like four miles is trapped to shit. And also like there's a complex underneath that goes just as far. Yeah. The Rambo network. Yeah. Oh, do I.

I think that the reason that you guys are probably stepping out is because Ving has to contact Cloudpiercer. Oh shit. Right. You have to get him to come here. And we should probably warn Walt. Right. Because Walt's going to like shoot down a bird. Right. Yeah. That's a good point. He's going to look up and be like the government. Yeah. Drone strike. The government's coming. That bird's a drone. So you go outside because you don't have any reception indoors. You basically got your cell phone.

You're looking for bars. Exactly. And Walt is out there sitting on a bench outside of his cabin with those like wool making brushes. Yeah. And he's just got an alpaca next to him. And every once in a while he scoops a bunch of wool off of it and starts kneading it. What are you doing? What are you doing? I'm making wool. Something useful I do with my hands. What are you doing? Standing around? Yes. Sorry. Don't apologize. Just do something. Okay. And he looks over.

He like tips his head over at a trough that doesn't have very much hay in it next to some hay. So Billy starts plucking grass to make to add to the hay trough. He's like, gee. Tuck walks over. And he like, there's a giant bale. And he just starts dragging Billy's throwing handfuls of grass into the trough. Bing hops on the spinner and starts spinning a yarn. And Walt goes, spit nods. So you're Nathaniel's boy, huh? Spit nods. Not quite what I expected. What were you expecting? Don't answer that.

And Walt goes, all right. A man that asks questions and expects no answers. I like that. Bing grew up in old cheers. This is his person. That's so true. He grew up in fucking bumfuck nowhere. He knows how to deal with this guy. Sick vest. Thanks. I made it my shelf after my fourth wife told me it was over. And he turns away and closes his fist and he goes, Shoshanna. Billy also goes, Shoshanna. You ever, you know what it's like to have your heart torn from your chest, boy? Oh, literally. Nope.

I literally don't know what that feels like. Literally. It's a pain worse than death. There's nothing, nothing worse than losing the love that lit your life with passion and fire. The only thing worse than that is paying taxes. Fucking taxes. Fucking taxes. Taxes. Yeah. Well, they can take those taxes and they can go fuck themselves with those taxes. Yeah. But wait, that would mean they're taking the taxes. Well, we still back the taxes and that's what Billy says from the trough. Yes.

He's inside the trough now organizing the hay. As an alpaca walks up and starts like nibbling around Billy dangerously close. You always take back the taxes. You always take back the taxes. That's right. This is what I've been talking about. Maybe this is our opportunity to finally strike out. At the man's greedy hands and take back from Heartwood City what they've taken from people. I mean, that's kind of what we wanted to talk to you about. Yeah. We really fucked up Heartwood City dude.

You don't say. Did you hear what we did? I heard some on the wind, in the trees, in the ground. What'd you hear? I didn't hear much. That's because there wasn't much to say because. We chopped a lot of heads off. Exactly. So to speak. And then Tuck goes, here, let the wind tell you a tale. And then he blows at his face. And Walt closes his eyes and lets the air wash over him. The heart tree. Whoa. And then Tuck goes, whoa. What? You struck at the corruption at the very heart of the forest.

Look at my arm. And he grips your wrist and he pulls it really close because it's clear his eyesight's pretty bad. And he's like, oh, I'm not gonna be able to see I'm gonna be able to see you. He's got thick Coke bottle glasses. He's got half of one huge glass. Oh, just one over one eye. A massive. Oh, what do you mean? Half of one? Yeah, I know. I like that. They're really thick glasses. Really, really thick glasses. His eyes are like bugging out every time you look at him. Whoa. Easy bubbles.

These runes. This is ancient knowledge. Old figures. No designs that speak to the language of the heart. The heart of the stars. Okay, okay. You can read runes? Any ranger worth his salt can read the runes. Cool. My dad never taught me that. He wouldn't have. Why not? I shouldn't say. Say. Alright, I'll say. Your father was a contentious figure in the court even as a youth and his relationship with your mother, the Lady Ileana, made it even more so.

The very idea that he would induct you into the secret ways of the rangers in the runic language would surely have spelled his death. And yours. I see. Spare the rune, save the child. He nods. That is it, may I have heard many a tale of you three and it seems like you are doing your father and your mother quite proud. I just want to say I'll never bore I'll will towards the Lady Ileana. Or her ilk. Ving nods slowly. What? What are you doing out here? Why aren't…

Oh, sorry, did I step on your moment? Not at all. Chuck says that. Nope, not at all. You catch Ving looking at Walter's lips. This grizzled old man. Big white beard. What is happening to us? I think Tuck and Ving are… Realizing some things about themselves and each other and they are putting that energy outwards. We gotta keep it platonic. We got work to do. But I think also like the whole…

It's the kind of thing where like after you've been in a terrible battle, you just get crazy horny because you feel like you're gonna die. It's like a natural animal instinct to be like, I need to reproduce right now. Yes. Fight, flight, or fuck. Yes. The three reactions. The three F's? The three F's of life. I did this. He did four. Deed, mead, and seed. That's what Walt says. Only three things truly count in a person's life. Deed, mead, and seed. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

He reaches down and pops the cork on a jug that starts smoking heavily and takes a deep drink from it. And then Tuck goes, if you were like a ranger, what are you doing out here? I got tired of the system. Tired of fighting battles for people that didn't know what those battles meant. We went out and we were sent after spit. Went out and sent after many a many a folk that were deemed enemies of the court. And it wasn't until terribly long into my career I am a shunned.

Shame to say that I realized that those enemies were enemies of the court because they disobeyed the court. I decided to come out here, set up a little land for myself, get me some fine alpacas, and live for me. Does anyone remember what we're trying to get out of this guy? Oh yeah. Do you have any booby traps in the sky? In the sky? No? Just these two booby traps? And he points at his eyes. We have someone coming to visit us. In a little bit. From the skies?

You ever seen a thunderbird, my friend? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do The camera cuts to Cloudpiercer. Wind ripping at his feathers. Rumbling clouds. Yeah, all the clouds begin to roll in gray. The trees around us start to swing. And almost like a sonic boom in the sky as the clouds, part. Like a bolt of lightning parts the clouds. Crack. And then landing. Skidding. Hi guys! Oh no! It's Gale! I'm so glad to see you all again. Did you call the wrong person? I just called out to the thunderbirds.

They send who's available. Cloudpiercer is not currently available, but I'm happy to get you where you need to go. When she landed, she tumbled a bunch. She tumbled. She fell really hard. She's got so much hay in her fur. She's picking hay out of her feathers. She's ruffling up. So, who you guys need to ride? Walter's eyes are loud because due to Ving's new move called World Echo, the… Oh, right. Oh, everyone can hear.

And now everyone around Ving can hear the chirps and songs of animals around him. Yeah, totally. If an animal or something is talking to Ving around him, there's a circle of influence that everyone else can hear. Yeah, totally. So, Walt is just like, fall into his knees. Oh, great bird. Oh, great bird. I like him. Tell me what thou needs and I will be thy eternal servant. Wait, what? Oh, right. They're like sacred or something like that.

While he's kneeling, Ving takes off the necklace, the bird necklace. And he's been hearing and walks over to Walter. For your service to all the people of this land and the non-people of this land, I give you the gift of communion with the Thunderbirds. What? He reaches down and grabs the carved wooden amulet. This is a great boon you have bestowed upon me and I have to say I'm not quite sure why. This is my way. And when you say that, he nods. This is his way. You've done me a service.

And he stands up for about two and a half minutes. Creaking the whole way. We're watching it for the whole time. No one's helping him. Every time someone reaches down, he bats their hand away. I can do it myself. This guy trained Dathaniel. Oh, yeah. So true. That's why Dathaniel trusts him because he's Dathaniel's old master. Oh, I love that. Hmm, man. Why do we just introduce these one-off characters that we come to adore? I don't want to leave now. I know. I want this whole season to be Walt.

I love he's a grumpy sweetheart. He's so great. And he he stepped he bows low and he steps back to allow you to speak to Gail. So you guys, we're going to Hibernia, huh? Yes. Can you take everyone? Well, I can't take everyone. Well, what if we're all in the bag? Yeah, I can take a bag. Awesome. Thanks, Gail. It'd be kind of cool if like one or two you wrote, though, because I do get bored. And then I immediately am like, OK, pick a pick a grass.

Whoever gets the shortest grass has to ride with Gail. Should we roll for this? You should roll for this. And I think I think you guys are just going to roll one D6 and the lowest number has to ride with Gail. OK. You mean gets to ride with Gail? Gets to. All right, Gail, we'll figure it out. I got a two. I got a one. OK. Two. Yeah. Oh, wow. We both got really low rules, but not as low as Billy. So Billy picks up these grasses and is so sure in his luck that this will not fail him.

Yeah, he's so smug. And Ving pulls long grass. Tuck pulls long grass. Well, surely I have the long. Surely I also have long grass. I also. I mean, I rigged the game. Oh, no, it's short grass? No, that's long grass. Oh. And Gail goes, what are you guys doing? We're looking at grass. We're looking at grass, Gail. OK. Well, I could take the bag and I could take one or two people. Yeah, I'll go with you, Gail. Awesome. I have heard and forgotten so many songs since I last saw you guys.

So you're gonna have to help me out with a lot of stuff. All right. See you later, Gail. Good luck, Billy. No problem. I listen to the radio, probably. You can practice your songs on me. Tuck goes into the tent. Did you guys have anything you wanted to ask? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Right. Well, yes. I was wondering if maybe I could get one of those vests. He nods, smiles to himself, walks forward, grips your hand. You know what, Sean?

After all that you guys have been through, everything your father's been through. Absolutely not. And he walks back into his cabin. What the hell? Closes the door. What? Got absolutely nothing out of that interaction. Nothing. In fact, Ving gave away the only way he has to contact the Thunderbirds. I mean, not the only way. No, no. He has other ways. Right. I don't know. I thought it was just a symbol at this point.

This was your main way of contacting the Thunderbirds in the past, but we can say that a spiritual evolution has taken place. What were we going to ask again? I feel like, because he has been in the woods forever. Oh, right. We're going to be lost. We're going to be like- We're going to be like- We're going to be like- We're going to be like- We're going to be like- We're going to be like- We're going to be like- Yeah, we're going to ask like, have you heard anything?

Then you guys became so endeared by him that you just wanted to talk to him. This is how he does this. It's not until he leaves that you realize we got nothing out of him. Right. We probably kept trying to ask him stuff and he just kept being like endearingly, charmingly weird. You guys did ask him questions. Oh. And he just gave you answers, but that didn't give you information. Yeah. And then you just moved on. Wow. Crazy. Crazy. He was like a master spy kind of thing.

We have been dancing around a group within the Ranger Corps that we have not talked about. That is that exactly. What is it? And I think Walt was a former one. Oh. Somebody's going to have to roll Spout Lore if you want to learn about it. I'm spelling lore. Two to six plus intelligence. Six. Failure. And we will continue to dance around this group. No, that's perfect. It's so funny because I mean- Because that's perfect. They're spies. That's what we're- How would you know anything about that?

Yeah. We realized that he gave us no information and then we run to the cabin and we open the door and then Tuck gets shot in the shoulder with an arrow. There's no one in there. It's just a loaded crossbow tied up to the wall. Yeah. He's gone. Okay. Anyways, everybody get in the bag. Yeah. Billy reluctantly gets onto Gale. Billy, if you want to go in the bag, I'll hang out with Gale. I mean, it's up to you really. Do you want to do the talking? And singing? Buddy, go in the bag.

I made some macaroni for you. Thank you. And you fold up the fanny pack, tie it around something, your waist, Gale's neck, something like that. Yeah, I put it on my waist. And you hop on Gale's back and the clouds begin, the thunder rolls and the lightning strikes. Another love goes cold. Honestly, please never mind. It's all right. And Gale extends her- Her mighty wings. Lifts them to the skies. Bing does the same. And as she takes off, she says, okay, so tell me if this sounds familiar.

Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, And she takes off into the sky. Baba ran. And that is where we're going to end it for this week. An alpaca goes flying. An alpaca. Steve, I'm so sorry. It's careening into the woods. And that is where we are going to end things for this week. I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara.

Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long, everybody. Playing Bing, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care, everyone. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our incredible intro and outro music and all of the music produced for the show, including the incredible season finale song that you would have just heard a couple weeks ago.

If you want to hear all of Aaron's original music, you can find him at aaronreed.bandcamp.com. And if you want to find all of the- Music produced for the show by Aaron, you can find that at soundcloud.com. And if you want to susport the show, as so many of our wonderful susporters do, you can find us at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. Thank you, finally, and most of all, to you for listening. We'll see you next time.

And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, we'll see you next time. And for you, I'd gladly Spout Lore.