Episode 1 – Welcome To The Black Flame Parade

Hi everyone, it's Fat Billy here. Thanks for coming. Listen to our podcast. If you want more podcasts, you can go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore, where you can give us some money. And I like money, so I can buy snacks. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in bread. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Hi everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara.

Joining me as always playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hey, how's it going? Playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello. Hello. Sorry. Are you done? I'm fine. Are you done? I'm okay. Can I do mine over again too? I asked a question, there's no way they can answer me. Okay, alright, okay, alright. Playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hi, how are you guys doing? Good. Oh, the three of us? Now I changed it to who I was intending it towards. I'm good.

Start over, I'm sorry. Okay. Playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello everyone. Playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hi, how's everybody doing? What the fuck? And playing Fat Billy the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hi, how are you? No, Jessica. I didn't know how to react. Okay, let's do it one more time. Okay. Hi, welcome Spell Lord. With me as always, it is me, Jessica Tai. And to my right, Tacoma Dome. Hi, I'm played by Abdul Aziz. Okay. No, you do. And further.

To the right and across from Jessica geographically is Paul Oppers. And I play Ving, the half-elf quartered man druid. Zumba. What the fuck is going on? And to my left. No, you're right. My right, you're wrong. With us as always, Sean O'Hara, Game Master. Hi, how's everybody doing? They're gone. The listener. Yeah, they've already gone. They turned it off. Oh my God. Guys, I'm looking at the analytics right now. Season eight's zero listeners. Oh, it's like the 2008 stock market crash.

Whoa, it's to zero now. Holy shit. We've all lost our homes. Oh no. Oh no. Fuck, we put too much of the podcast in triple A tranches. Guys, I've got bad news for you, but good news for me. I shorted the podcast, so I'm a billionaire now. Oh my God. Yeah, I knew this was coming. I had a feeling this was going to happen. You said the game would never stop. Hi, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers.

Hey. Playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello. And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Hi. When last we left our heroes, a season seven finale took place. Big moves from everybody. The Torch of McCall and Fatim of the Lightguard taken prisoner. Our intrepid heroes returned to the Margani Library. Through a flooded section of a secret staircase. Only to discover that the library itself was under assault by a member of the Immolators and a group of Lightguard.

After absolutely pounding as much wine as they could each physically handle. Oh, shit. Yeah. In an attempt to heal their bodies and souls, Tuck and Ving were healed to full. Billy was healed to full and wasted. There's a drunk baby in the battle for the Margani Library. Possibly like the most dangerous and surprising tactic of all. Absolutely. There's a drunk baby with a knife in here. He tumbling everywhere. The battle was joined.

You reunited with your friend Perel, novice initiate, novitiate of the silent word. Cool. Doing everything that he could. To avoid getting close to a combatant. Billy took on that member of the Lightguard with Perel. Perel showed some skill in his newfound martial arts. Ving baked some clay onto the faces of a few people. Whoopsie. Terrifying both himself and the onlookers. And Tuck mixed it up with a two-sworded dual-wielding immolator. Killed that guy. Yeah.

All three of you eventually descended on this fool and ended up whooping the shit out of him. And then… Farah, master of the Margani Library, found you and took you to a medical theater in which the Torch and Fatim were being medically treated. Mm-hmm. Along with Shia, the Garden Snake, Ving's half-sister. Some time passed. Everybody recuperated.

And then you had a nice little sit-down with Ama Margani and the former Torch of Makal, a pretty pleasant, if stressed out, old Makalan man named Farhan. And had a little… A little conversation about how bad he feels about what he did, but also how he wanted to speak with you because the demon that was the Torch of Makal allegedly had an overarching plan of its own.

And we finished the season with a very Avengers-style post-credits cut-to-black moment in which you were asked what you knew of the Dark Guard. And then Morgan Freeman walked in. Morgan Freeman. You know it's not Morgan Freeman. I corrected myself in the incorrect direction. You said Samuel… I thought I got it wrong the first time, and I was wrong about that. Anyway, Samuel L. Jackson walked in, and he told Robert Downey Jr. That we've entered a bigger universe.

And this is where we do the crossover with The Adventure Zone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ama Margani found Tuck in a boxing ring, punching a sandbag. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thinking about his past, and then knocking it off the wall. And that is where we find ourselves now. A brand new day. How much time do we think has passed? Maybe a week, week and a half since the battle? Yeah. Yeah. Good week. Yeah. And you have all been living at the library, presumably. Yes.

I wonder, do you think that they've inducted you into the librarians? Ooh, honoraria librarian. At least temporarily, yes. Yeah. Or begrudgingly. Yeah. Totally. They've begrudgingly given you quarters. Yeah. They're like, you guys can't have robes yet. Yeah. So you've been living in sort of the, there is an area of the library that hadn't been seen on screen up until now, the dormitory area. This is especially windy.

You're not really sure what this was used for when it was a mine, but the tunnels are very windy and twisty, and they break off into a very small, cozy little sort of burrow. And so you've got… I thought, are you all sharing a room here? Always. They offered you three rooms, and you were like, why? I guess we could put our shit in the other two rooms. Sweet. And they put you next to Perel, so you guys are sort of neighbors again. And what have you been up to for the last week or so?

Perel's been making me read books. Like actually learn how to read, read? Well, mostly helping him. He's like, we have a lot to learn really quickly, and I need you to help me read. I need you to help me read some of these old texts. I'm like, ugh. I don't want to eat. I don't want to slide around. Slide around? We built a slip and slide in the atrium the second day, and we got in so much trouble. They came down. They're like, what the fuck are you guys doing?

We're like, the sign says no pizza subs. It doesn't say… It says no food or drink, actually. But it doesn't say no slip and slides. We've crossed it out and put pizza subs above food and drink. With a frowny face. Yeah. Because somebody specifically got mad at you while you were eating a pizza sub. So yeah, what kind of stuff has Perel been getting you to help him read? Some of the old runic books and the loose papers and stuff like that.

Just stuff that's really old that hasn't been categorized to help us find more about this dark guard stuff. Oh, cool. Cool. That implies that the dark guard stretches back to the origins of magic. Oh, cool. Right. Because the books are written in runes. Runic language is super old, right? Yeah. Yeah, I like the idea that the dark guard is a more modern name for an old thing. Oh. Because you said it was like links in a chain. Mm-hmm. What was the link? The torch was a link in a…

The demon that was the torch was a link in a greater chain. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That would shackle the world. Oh, yeah. Well, what wields the shackles? Right. We should talk about sort of… The following conversation of that was… Yeah. What Farhan told you. So what I'm thinking is that, yes, the chain that he spoke of was the quote-unquote dark guard, and that what he meant was that what this demon was doing was part of a larger plan. You know what I mean?

Like, this is one piece of a puzzle that a bunch of other influences are trying to complete together. Yeah. Okay. But under the same goal? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And what the plan… He thinks, like, he doesn't have, like, access to all of those memories, basically, or all of the thoughts of the demon, but his feeling was that the ultimate goal was a place where icons are free to spread their influence, like, as freely as they desire.

So, like, his ramping up of zealotry in McCall was, like, if that demon had its way, it would spread that influence all over the world. Mm-hmm. And, like, whip up zealotry wherever… Wherever it could so it can continue to sustain itself. Which is a specific quality of zealotry rather than of the other ones, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's not that every demon's trying to do this? No, definitely not. Like, it's the exact same kind of thing, right?

Like, where a demon of baking would be like, well, it'd be nice if everybody liked bakery, but not bakeries. They're not trying to bake the world. Exactly, yeah. Is it, like, trying to spread, like, basically, like, a conforming, like, ideology or whatever? Like, basically, like… To remove all chaos, which is, like, the basis of nature. Mm-hmm. Where it's like, no, we're not going to follow, like, the laws of nature.

And so, like, that's why the demon that possessed Farhan, that's kind of what he was, like, maybe, like, set out to do. And would explain, like, the war between, like, the dark elves and the druids. Like, the dark elves wanting some sort of, like, order and, like, basically, like, exterminate a group of people who followed, like, nature's laws and stuff like that. Yeah. I really like the idea that that war and that influence was the last attempt by this icon to put that situation in motion.

You know what I mean? Like, and this thing with the light guard and the torch was, like, the most recent attempt. Yeah. I like the idea that, like, if you look through history and you know what to look for, every once in a while, there are these events where, like… Huge wars break out over seemingly nothing. Mm-hmm. And it's because it's, like, oh, a demon came in, like, or a warlock was operating on behalf of the icons to, like, try to… Bring order to chaos.

So, at some level, the wizards worship the icons. Yeah. That's kind of, like… Or they draw their power from the same realm. Yeah. They liked the… What druids could do. And so, like… But they were… Maybe it could have been the thing where it's, like, well, they're not doing anything with it. Like, why would you have so much power and not take advantage of it? And, like, the wizards would want, like, more out of that. So, the druids, like, embrace the chaotic nature of the natural world.

And they try and walk with that chaos and, like, just be with the world in its natural state. And warlocks are on the other side, where they're, like, trying to force order into the world. And then wizards… Kind of, like, walk the line between, where they try to manipulate the world to their own ends. Where they're, like, I want… Oh, it's, like, individuality. Yeah. These are my… Chaos, order, and then the self in the middle. And they're more self-focused. Like… And, like, a smaller…

On a smaller scope, too. Yeah. Where they're, like, I don't give a shit about fucking icons. And I don't give a shit about fucking nature. I'm going to do the thing that I want to do. I'm going to make these frogs. I love frogs. And I could make more frogs. And… Oh, man. Yeah. Totally makes sense. I like the baby boomerang. The baby boomers of our universe. Yeah. So, warlocks are fascists. Yeah. Druids are anarchists. And wizards are libertarians. Yeah. Basically. Yeah.

I don't like wizards anymore. I think it's, like, everyone's on a spectrum. So, I'm sure there's some… Like, we met Aquarian. She seemed cool. Perel was, like, I wanted to help. Yeah. Like, he wanted to make his frog things. Libertarians think they're helping, too. Yeah. Exactly. And everyone is trying to help. In their own way. Like, warlocks are, like, this world is chaos. Like… You don't want to live in such a mess.

Well, in a place like McCall, where there is so much, like, poor and suffering in the streets and children are dying at night, like, then, of course, other people would follow something that is trying to do something about that. Totally. Like that. Yeah. So, yeah. I like the idea that, like, all over the world, throughout history, you can find these incursions of, like, icons. And it doesn't always have to be zealotry.

It's, like, it can be different ones that are trying to, like, force that order into the world. Mm-hmm. Yeah. In places that are hard to exist, which, with the dark elves up in the frozen north. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, when there's, when your survival is on the line, then you, faith, it becomes more and more important. Yeah. Like, sometimes those wars might have been started by, like, a demon of rebellion.

And it's, like, we're still trying to, it's still trying to bring order to this, like, chaotic situation, but it's doing it through, like, extreme acts of rebellion. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Looking really cool, smoking a cigarette. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I ripped the sleeves off my leather jacket, so now it's a vest. Wow. And then I put the sleeves on my legs, so they're pants. Iconic. Not pants, though, just leggings. Yeah. And then he flicks the cigarette. That's what you think, pops. Chaps. Chaps.

Chaps. Basically, like, leather leg warmers. Like, they're falling down all the time. Put my chaps on my arms and my armpits are cold. But you can see my pits through my chaps, which is hot. Yeah. Yeah. Hot. Hot. I guess. This guy's such a rebel. It's gross. He's, like, too rebellious. It's, like, confusing how rebellious he is. Yuck. But it just makes sense to me because, like, the torch was a demon, so he was, like, directly influencing people around him on a huge scale. Mm-hmm.

But that makes sense for, like, what a warlock would be. It'd be people that icons can use with less of a gigantic influence. It's, like, the thing that happened in McCall. If you look at history books, you know, hundreds of years from now, you'll be, like, oh, yeah, you can kind of see the trend go crazy at this point. Whereas, like, if a warlock is out there, it's a little subtler. Yeah. Because a demon is the icon riding the person and taking control. Oh, yeah.

Like, Kendall Jenner's the demon icon. Uh-huh. And then Instagram influencers are the warlocks. And then we are the police. Yeah. I have no fucking clue. I don't know anything about internet culture. You don't need to. It's fine. She's right, though. Jessica's right. But that makes so much more sense. Like, the idea of warlocks. Warlocks are connected to demons, the icons riding the people, as opposed to the icons themselves. Yeah. That's what a lot of scholars don't understand. Oh, wait.

Warlocks are connected to the demons? Yeah. Because the demons are, like, are using people already, using this body of a person. And that makes it easier for them to understand how to make these connections with people that can help them do their work. Okay. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In your name, ocean. And the ocean's just like, I have waves. Instead of a person. Yeah, you need a mediating.

A person digging trenches being like, yeah, go dig a trench over there. You know what I mean? Because I think that in a way, icons, until, like, demons know what they want. I don't think that icons necessarily do. You know what I mean? Because icons are just like pure thought, basically. Yeah. Whereas a demon is like, yes, I know that I need more people to do the thing that I do. Yeah, I think that's, maybe that's why an icon will ride a demon.

Like, a single concept takes over a person's mind so it can think more fully. Interesting. I wonder if that suggests that demonic possession is almost accidental. It's almost a symbiotic relationship. Yeah. Where it's like, the icon has power associated with it. So it latches onto something with a mind to give that power, like, form and action. Mm-hmm. To drive it forward. Yeah.

So this is all stuff that has come up in conversations over the last week and a bit with Farhan and Ama and Farah being like, what is going on? Like, how can we make sense of this situation and what the torch actually wanted? Is Perel helping too? Yes. Perel is helping in so much as he really cares about all of you, but he also thinks that maybe this might point him in the direction of how to get his power back. Cool.

Because if all of this stuff is a lot closer than maybe people initially realized, he's like, okay, I could probably squeak my way past at some point in this situation and tap into that chaotic energy that I need. Such a Perel kind of plan. I'm just gonna sneak past you right there and just get into a room full of magic. Like, yes. I'm just gonna put on a fake mustache and sneak past the lord of all icons. Hello. I am also a demon. Don't mind me. What are you the demon of?

I am the demon of the world. I am the demon of the world. I am the demon of the world. I am the demon of the world. I am the demon of the world. I am the demon of the world. I am the demon of the world. I'm the demon of when you forget something, but you're not quite sure what you forgot. You know, you're tapping your pockets and you're like, well, my phone and my wallet are there. Here are my keys, but I think I'm missing something. That's what I'm the demon of.

The demon of I better go check the stove. As he's saying all this, his mustache is sliding. That's what I forgot. Spirit gum. Gotta go now. That's the demon of the world. That's the thing is like there are, there is technically an icon of forgetfulness. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point that some of the icons would never come through to our world. Yeah. Because they don't have like a virulent nature. But there's still part of that larger equation. Yeah. Yeah.

That's part of the theory that you've all put together about this dark art thing is that like it will be, if there are demons or icons that are a part of this conspiracy, it is specific ones. Like it's not going to be baking. It's not going to be. Yeah. Yeah. Competition. You know what I mean? Like they don't necessarily, they won't necessarily care about this. I think competition might. Competition might. Now that I've said it, competition might be like, oh yeah.

I'm going to get in there and be the best at everything. Oh, maybe that's like when you see like peak athletes. Yeah. Like Sean White is maybe a demon of competition. I would believe. He's a demon of something, that fucking guy. I don't understand athlete culture. Uh, it's, you don't have to. He's right though. Um, yep. I'm definitely helping Perel read all those books. And part of it, like a lot, we're coming across a lot of like druid and fairy stuff and magic.

So we're all super hungry about reading that. And Billy's just hungry. Yeah. Perel has been bugging you like all the time. I know he wakes me up from all my naps. I'm like, just leave me alone. Like so tired. And, and because of that, like he bugged you for, for days. Yeah. And then he found out that Shia knows how to read runes as well. So then he's been hanging out whenever you're like, go away. I'm sleeping. Yeah. He goes and he bugs Shia. So he's ping ponging between the two of you.

But then I got jealous. Who were you? Wait, who were you jealous of? Were you jealous of Perel because he got to hang out with Shia or Shia? Cause she was helping Perel. Well, I was jealous cause I wanted to be the smart one. Then, and now Shia knows everything. I like Shia a lot, but I'm like, I, I've been, I know way more than you. So I just like hang around like totes. I already know that. It's like when your best friend starts hanging out with another person, you start feeling left out.

You're like, what? Wait, no. What the fuck is going on here between you two? I'm, I'm the in, I'm here. I'm the reason. Why do you guys have inside jokes now? Fuck you. All these jokes should filter through me. Uh, what has Ving been up to? Uh, he's been studying with Farah, uh, with the speakers. Ooh. And the speakers. And he learned about the dark church. Ooh. Tell me a little bit about the dark church. There's a, these old churches found carved out of rocks. Deep, deep McCall.

They're thought to be where, uh, old Druids and weird, uh, fanatics got together and, uh, have all this, weird underground Druid church vibes. And when you say it's underground, do you literally mean it's in the deep ward? They're very underground, deep underground. Yeah. There's some like outside of town, caved in, like carved out of, uh, different caves or like crevices. There's probably some in the weird mines. Oh my gosh. Oh. There's dark churches all over the place. Wow. I see. Yeah.

Okay, cool. Yeah. Because of the connection to the outer dark. Oh, they come to places where icons, come through. Cool. Yep. Yep. I like that a lot. Or maybe it's, yeah, maybe it's thought that, I mean, this is all stuff that is becoming codified for maybe one of the first times in history or for the first time in a long time. But yeah, maybe it was like meeting places for these kind of cultish people who wanted to keep their beliefs out of the public eye. It does kind of seem like a cult.

It sounds like very culty. Yeah. Super cult. And they were always the antitheses. Yeah. Antitheses of whatever big religion found themselves. So in McCall, it's, they worship the Lord of the Flame. So these are the, the Shadow of the Flame is part of their. Oh, cool. Yeah. Yeah. Is their, their sect. Their side. Yeah. Is here, this, this particular sect is called the Shadow of the Flame. Wow. Is it a consistent ideology across like all darker churches like across the world?

I think they're pretty much, yeah, like balanced. And they feel like they're bringing balance. Yeah. To that area or to what, to whatnot. Yeah. That's a really cool thing. Yeah. And because it is so closely tied to the outer dark, it is like in that copper book. Yeah. They're like, okay, this sounds, this all sounds a little. Yeah. An evil church that lurks in the shadows. What if it's like, like these dark churches, it sounds like they're not really like inhabited anymore.

So what if like a lot of the old writings have been like destroyed in the fires? And so like what you have is like the info that's, that's left is like so sparse. Yeah. Yeah. I thought you were going to say the info that's left was literally what was engraved into copper. And that's where the phrase copper book came from. That would be cool too. Yeah. Like those were the ones that didn't burn. Yeah. Cool. Yeah.

There was an, when Ving was reading one of these funny books, he was like, I'm going to try and relax and like get away from all this learning stuffs. And he's reading this like pulp. Like I'm just going to read this, uh, this fun time. It's like watching Indiana Jones. And then he, he comes across this, this passage, but the section of the book was so specific and close to the ritual that he went through. Uh, when he sacrificed his, his ability to shape shift. Whoa.

That he was like, this must be, there's something to this. This is, if this is true, there must be other parts of this that are true. Yeah. I want to find, so then he's cross referencing, referencing the other parts of the book that kind of seem more ritualistic to see if he can find other things in the book and bring out the truth from this copy. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work.

Title of the book yep bringer of the black flame love it bringer of the black flame rules how does this sound as a name crosby dean haber is the name of the author of the author great great fucking pulp author okay he wears a tiny leather vest and on the same leather hat oh and you know actually you know what there's no this is one of the things where there's no artist portrait but bringer of the black flame is part of a greater series written by a pulp author called crosby dean haber so we've introduced a second book to the Spout Lore universe bringers of the black flame and love and lust and lust unbound oh but like a second series I guess yeah yeah um so oh fuck what's this series called is it just called what was it again like the something of uh bringer of the black flame I mean that could be the series and it could just be like volume one yeah totally okay yeah so the series is called bringers of the black flame yeah and this is volume one which is the bringer of the black flame the bringer of the black flame is the first book in bringers of the black flame is printed underneath yeah so the words bringer and black flame are on the cover of this book so much yeah and then the second book is called the second bringer of the black flame and then the titles get better after that he can't blame him he's writing these books so fast he's getting paid by the word exactly but yeah so crosby dean haber published by a bringer of the black flame press a bringer of the black flame production cool cool all right and this is so this is in between your like uh your sessions your training sessions with the speakers yeah yeah teaching me that word spoken word what's uh what's tuck been up to well tuck's been kind of jealous of how uh bing and pharah have been hanging out kind of similar to how billy got jealous yeah how much of this group's actions do you think are different than the other books um I'm not sure I'm not sure I'm not sure I'm not sure Do you think are driven by jealousy?

A thousand percent. Certainly in the last couple of weeks, quite a lot of them. Cause every time like Ving comes back from training, I'm like, so what did you and Farrah get up to? Did she say anything about me or anything? Same thing. He's walking to Farrah's like, so what was Ving wearing today? Yeah, both ways. I was like, oh, you and Ving have been training together a lot. I've been kind of just hanging out on my own. It's pretty cool. Oh, you guys are training later today. That's cool.

I don't think I have anything going on today. And she walks away. Okay, cool. Yeah, me too. I am also walking away. Cause I have a busy, like I'm busy. I have an appointment, really important, uh, important appointment. I'm with the torch talking in an empty hallway. I have a real, uh, important, important appointment, a point. I got to go. I'm going to go to my appointment. Uh, I'm going to go watch some important. I like the idea that Ving and Billy have been kind of busy.

And tuck hasn't really been doing anything. Yeah. He's kind of just wandering the halls aimlessly. Just be like, what the fuck is good? Exploring the library. Nah, not at all. Not with any level of perception, really accidentally exploring the library. Not even that. There's a lot of like people are like dropping books open in front of him to like a convenient page that he's just like, like, he's like, man, man, bet. Perel was here. He loved that. There was a book. And he just walks away.

And Perel is standing in front of you because he put the book down. He's like, what the fuck? Where's he going? I was in the middle of a conversation with Perel when I did that. And you forgot that you were talking to Perel. Tuck's just been so like engrossed in his own loneliness. He's, he's got like a music bottle on his hip and he's got like headphones in. He's just listening to welcome to the black parade from my alchemical romance. Pretty good. Welcome to my black flame parade. Okay, cool.

There's a, there's a situation where someone's doing a math equation on a board and there, and then he looks at it and doesn't solve it even though he knows the answer. Tuck sees an equation on a chalkboard. Nobody around. He's just decided to help sweep up. And he starts writing on the board and the numbers start flowing through him. And all of a sudden he's thinks that he has a new found understanding. And then someone walks up and goes, what the fuck did you do?

I've been working on this for weeks and now I have to erase everything to take all these dicks off of here. You can't just write two over and over and over again. So it has Tuck done anything that you would consider progress. I think he got bored after a few days of wandering aimlessly and ignoring important narrative hints that other librarians were trying to give him. So he started a fight club where he, he was just like, okay, here's what we're going to do.

You send people to fight me and then you give me money if I win. Who, who in the library allowed this to happen? It got shut down pretty quick. He didn't make it one of the top rules of fight club. He should have. No, but that's what he did. He was like, tell everybody about this cause I'm trying to make a lot of money, but don't tell anyone that'll try and shut us down. Okay, Farrah, I'm shutting this down now. That was the longest way to answer the question.

Have you done anything you would consider progress with? No, maybe ever heard back to season one. Yeah, this is because you took away the outlander move from it. I have been, this has all been pent up for a whole season. Did I take it? Oh, I made right. Yeah, I did kind of take away outlander from you, didn't I? Uh, what a blessing that was, but because that gambling scheme didn't work, he's kind of doesn't have any money of his own. He can't find Ving.

So he goes, he goes to like, he goes to, I'm still talking. I know, I know he goes to the torch and he's like, not the torch. Oh, right. He goes to, uh, like for Han and Ama and like one of their tea sessions. And he's like, Hey, do you guys, cause he's just passing by. He's like, Hey, do you guys have any change? Can you make change? Why would we have money? All I have is this thing.

And he puts it down and it's the obsidian coin that he picked up from the, uh, from the traveler's shrine in like season three, I think. Yeah. And, uh, the, like, Farhan is smiling idly while you fucking chatter. Cause he's gotten, he's, he's amused by you as this dolt that keeps stumbling into the room. Like guys, I figured out a new thing. I was reading this book about greasing pigs and I realized that if I grease myself, I can run faster and nobody can stop me.

Uh, but you put, that's why Billy wanted to slip and slide all over the place here. Cause, because Tuck kept greasing himself. And I was like, what are you doing? That's a slip and slide here is you grease yourself up and run and slide on a rock floor. Looked fun. You put the coin down and Farhan stopped smiling and his hand trembles a little bit as he picks it up and he's looking at it. Where did you get this? Um, I just picked that up at a traveler's, Ryan, uh, close to bull rush bull.

I'm unfamiliar. It's like near the high spring mall. It's in the principalities. Oh yeah. It's across the sea of graves. Do you know what this is? I don't know. Black coin with an eye on it. He closes his eyes as if he's trying to remember something. This is how the torch found the library. What? This coin is connected to, to the dark guard in some way. Wait, how do you use it to find the library? He could sense its presence. I did.

You, you had interactions with him before the first battle, correct? Yeah. He found us in a crystal bag. Yes. He recognized the presence of this coin on you then, and used that feeling to find the library, knowing that you had allied with the librarians. Wait, so he wasn't tracking Perel. He was tracking me. Yeah. Yeah. He was tracking you. Oh my God. What? Yeah. These coins are connected to the dark guard in some way.

He doesn't know how, he just knows they are, and he knows that the torch used these coins to find the library. Fuck, if I just left it, because remember Allison took it from me? Oh yeah. And she, and I took it back from her. Oh, because she was like, where'd you get this? Yeah. So she, if I just hadn't done that, we would have been fine. Allison had been to the outer dark. Well, she's a demon. Yeah. Yeah. She might know about the dark guard or might have known about the dark guard. She did.

I've said too much. Um, uh, I think actually, okay. I think I misunderstood your statement. Once the torch had met you, he recognized the presence. Like they did go to the principalities because they heard about Perel. Oh, that is still the case. But once he met you, he sensed that you had a coin on you. And once, you came to McCall, he'd been using that to track you. Yeah. So that's what Farhan tells you is that these coins are connected to the dark guard in some way.

He doesn't remember how, but just that the torch was using it to track you. And that's how he found the library. Their eyes of the dark guard. Like, yeah. Oh, so cool. That's the name of them. The eyes of the dark guard. Wait, do we still have that Mender's pin? Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Fuck. We're being tracked by so many organizations. Billy's using it right now to pick some like spices of his teeth. Yeah, that's all he can. That's he says.

If I were you, I would throw this in the deepest, darkest hole you can find. Don't say anything. I'm sorry. I nose laughed. Take that nose laugh out of the mic. Yeah, he does say throw this in the deepest, darkest, throw this in the deepest, darkest hole that you can find. And run in the other direction. I, I don't know. I've been carrying around for so long. I kind of don't want to.

You understand that if there is an organization of demons called the dark guard and a conspiracy being enacted upon the world, that with this coin, it would be extremely easy to find you. All right, fine. How many coins will you give me for it? I do not want it here. Okay. What about one? An even trade one for one. I have two. I'll give you two. Give me two coins and you can have this. He pats the blanket in the hospital bed. He's laying in and goes, I appear to be skint at the moment.

And I turned to, I'm like, I'm a you. I have not had money 600 years longer than he has not had money. I find if you are, if you're asking for money, you're asking the two wrong old men. Okay, fine. I'll give you both for one coin then. Okay. Okay. Okay. How about we take these now and we'll pay you later? Does that sound good? So Tuck thinks about it for a second. Real hard. You can tell because his nerd glasses are on right way up this time. Oh my God. And he's staring out a window too.

There's no, you're underground. He's, he's, you're looking at a painting of a window. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, staring at a painting of the sea. And then he turns around and goes, no deal. And then he puts, he drops them in his backpack and walks out and tries to start another fight club.

Alma and Farhan look at each other and laugh a little bit and continue their little board game that they were playing while they're drinking tea. So, yeah. So you're all sitting in the cafeteria around lunchtime and Perel is shoveling a bunch of hamburger and macaroni into his mouth with a huge stack of books next to him. He's so excited. And he's just like talking through a mouthful of, uh, food. And we're just watching this. Like we've stopped eating cause this is fucking gross.

Setting a terrible example for a child. Can you please chew with your mouth closed? And he goes, oh, I'm so sorry. Okay. So, Billy and I were reading these books and we found references to some sort of old, like primordial religion. And he pulls one of the books off the stack and flips it open to, uh, pictures of these cave drawings that feature animals of all kinds, all shapes.

Some you recognize, some you don't going into what looks like the mouth of a cave and then stooped human figures coming out the other side. And he starts describing this ritual that is mentioned that being strikes you as being very sad. Similar to the ritual that you undertook to give up your shape shifting and also the ritual you found referenced in bringers of the black flame. Yeah.

So I want to give him the book that I've been reading and show him the similarities between what I went through and what's printed in this so-called fiction. And his eyes are like widening, continuing to widen until they're huge. His pupils look tiny compared to everything else. Are you okay? I just, what are the odds that this primordial religion would have a ritual similar to the ritual that you undertook that is also referenced in this fantasy fantasy? Is that the right word? Fantasy? Yeah.

They call it copper book fantasy. Yeah. This fantasy book. If this book has this much truth in it, even a tiny little seed of truth, that could mean that there's even greater truths hidden within. That's what I was thinking. This is, and he, he wipes his arm across his mouth from elbow to fingertip, leaving a smear of macaroni and beef along the length of his arm. There's napkins on the table. There's no time.

And he takes, he snatches the book out of Ving's hand and he starts running through the cafeteria. That's the first in the series. Ah, nevermind. You'll find it. You see him run to the end of a corridor, skid to a stop and take a hard left. Yeah. And then, a few seconds later, run back again, going to the right papers flying. And maybe like eight or nine hours later, you're shaken from your sleep.

If you're asleep, but Perel comes into your room and is just like panting, holding the book in his hands, goes, come with me. Come with me now. No, come with me now. Do not question me. Do not question me. Come with me now. Oh, my God. I need to ring in a little bit. And he's gone. He's started running down the hallway. Maybe we just stay where we are. Yeah. Billy refuses to get up because he's like, I've, I've dealt with this false alarm a million times. He's gone for like 20 minutes.

And he bursts back into your room furious. But now he's got a huge rolled up piece of paper in one fist that he's basically crushing. And he's just like, you did not come with me. Is Farrah with him? Farrah is like she, yeah, she's behind him. He's sweating like a dog and she looks fine. What the fuck is going on with you today, man? Are you sick or something? Sick with knowledge. He's vibrant. Sean is vibrating. And Farrah walks in past him into your room.

Says, I'm so sorry for the disturbance. Uh, young Perel, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, some references in a few texts that he is quite excited about. And he insisted that I come with him. He's also found some halfling white powder. It looks like, uh, Perel, would you like me to explain, or do you think that you could calm yourself long enough to lay out your information in a way that could be followed by a person with a normal human brain?

As soon as she says normal human brain tuck audibly swallows. I don't know.

Gulp he says gulp when he's full and Perel takes a deep steadying breath and walks over to the little table that you have in your room sweeps everything off of it onto the ground and unrolls the paper that he had clenched in his fist revealing a map of the city of McCall and the surrounding regions and he holds up Bringers of the Black Flame Volume 1 and says this book is incredible it's so exciting I loved the protagonist I love that he says the coolest things when he needs to say the coolest things and then the most touching things when the situation warrants and he's so I just love him how about the Shadow of the Flame oh the Shadow of the Flame the part where he's standing atop the crumbling column dueling with the High Priest of Shadow and the Swamp Witch comes in the Swamp Witch she is so beautiful in my mind that description oof oof Perel did you wake us up for a book review because I hate this Tuck is into it because it's turned into kind of a movie for him now what's the oh man what's the name of the protagonist what's a super like Indiana Jones Dirk his name is Dirk there's another name um Dirk is just the coolest I want to be like Dirk when I grow up but none of nonetheless I cross referenced this book with the texts that Billy and I were reading earlier today and I found something what do you remember when he goes to Sand Eater Canyon and finds the entrance to the ancient temple yes the ancient temple yes Sand Eater Canyon is a real place no what fucking way technically Sand Eater Canyon Sand Eater Canyon Sand Eater Canyon canyon is a real place and it's connected to this greater giant complex this could actually lead us to the temple referenced in these books the temple that we believe is connected to the dark guard Billy inhale with me inhale surprisingly with me wow what happened can I doze off there for a second sorry I fell asleep that's cool so we go there now I guess what what are we still doing here Billy's default is like we're on a fetch quest then okay we'll go there Billy allow me to recap very quickly no very well so if this is real and the dark guard is connected to these dark churches this could be the perfect opportunity for us to begin understanding what might have been going on with the torch of McCall and how it connects to the demons the outer dark everything what do you think do you think that the three of you are up for this I mean I'm down for it I mean Bing's afraid because he saw what happened like he knows that they took you know he he changed forever by interacting with these powers so he's like I don't know man I don't know uh Sarah do we have to you don't have to do anything this information has been provided to the library we could send people it doesn't have to be the three of you oh thank god I turned to Billy and Bing and I'm like guys quick huddle and I pull them in and I'm like I've been so fucking bored the last two weeks I if I have to spend another fucking day in this library I'm gonna go crazy but but it's so nice in here I know I know Billy I know that you don't like being in the sun I don't and Bing I know you like hanging out with Farrah instead of me oh my god is this what this is about but I need to get out of this fucking library I can't be surrounded by nerds anymore or I'm gonna fucking beat the shit out of one of them I bet I'm braver than and stronger and taller than anyone that Farrah could send out instead of us certainly two of those yes definitely taller and smarter so let's go I guess I mean I guess I wouldn't be going back alone I've got you guys I've got family and Perel pushes his head up through the middle of your huddle yep and he's looking each of you he's spinning slowly in a circle so he's looking each of you in the eye and you can see this wild look in his eye and he's like I understand that this sounds like a dangerous mission adventure task whatever you want to call it but I'm not going to do that I'm going to do it I'm going to do it I'm going to do it I'm going to do it I'm going to do it I'm going to do it I'm going to do it this is the closest that I've been to finding an actual solid clue to regaining my magic since we arrived on this continent and if you do not come with me we will no longer be friends you would do that to us Perel?

Yes fine ugh gonna get so sunburned but okay okay I mean we told you we'd help you fix your magic you did I'm in your breath smells like hamburger helper I'm in your breath smells like ketchup and mustard I kiss him on the mouth yes you feel you feel a little bit of resistance but then you feel him give in his hands come up and rest on either side of your face and he pulls away for a moment and says Billy Bing you should leave now no no no no that was a platonic kiss of of flavor of commitment to the quest that we're about to go on I know you've been waiting listeners maybe for times I know you've been feeling the sexual tension for seasons now and we're finally getting the payoff that we all wanted between Perel and Tuck can't wait to see that Perel Tuck hardcore bone fan art so you agree you'll come with me yeah yeah good because I was absolutely going to die if I went by myself you know and he pushes his way through your huddle and goes to the doorway and he goes thank you so much for agreeing to help me now get some rest and prepare he's holding the book up closer and closer to his face so you can see the cover with Dirk on the front with a sword and a gun he has a gun?

Perel's wearing the same fake mustache as Dirk on the cover of the book he turns around this is going to be a fucking thing isn't it yeah he walks over to the doorway he's facing away from you and he's holding the book up next to his head and he says okay I'm going to go to the door rest and prepare for tomorrow and he whips around and he's got a fake mustache on that looks exactly like the mustache of the protagonist on the cover and he says we find adventure and Dirk turns to Ving and he's like was that the was that that Dirk guy's that's his line okay yeah that's his line that's how he starts I was a big fan of this book this might be overdoing it for me you know when they make a movie out of the book you like this is kind of like the movie the shitty movie of the book I like and if this was a serialized TV show at this point this is when the credits would be coming down over the screen as Perel slowly backs out of the room and scurries sideways down the hall out of sight and that's where we're going to end it for this week I've been your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers take care playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz so long and playing Fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai bye for now thank you to Aaron Reed for our incredible intro and outro music and thank you to all of our incredible supporters on both the internet and in our hearts you can find us online at Spellore Most Places including patreon.com slash spellore and thank you to patrons Corey K.

And Jansen for submitting the two names that became the name Crosby Dean Haber if you think that you have some cool ideas for names that's something that we've been working into the $10 level on our Patreon through the Discord Hither and Yon channel and we'll see you next week so if you want you can join the Discord join that channel and submit names maybe we'll work them into the show the links are in the show notes and if you like the show tell a friend or give us a review on iTunes see you next time bye and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spell more salute wait wait one second thanks for listening to the show we're all saluting now as is required by law our eyes are lined with dark eyeliner and our jeans are tight so tight held up by a checkered studded belt and our hair is swept to the side and basically glued down with at least a full can of hairspray our t-shirts are tight showing off our muscle-less scrawny torsos that girls our age inexplicably found attractive at this point in our lives our chucks our brins our new yet to be worn outside as inside dwellers and as this song crescends and ascends to its crescendo our eyes stare ever upwards at a flagpole and at half-mast flapping in the black wind a pair of skinny jeans a single tear falls from each of my eyes from each of our eyes the skinny jeans of course at half-mast commemorating the deaths of circulation all over the globe farewell listeners and we'll see you in the black parade at www.patreon.com slash spell or money please check us out on buzzfeed guys we'll see you next time studio audience of myself and paul and abdul and sean I'm here too oops spell lord couldn't happen with the support of you sean abdul jessica and paul ha and all of you if you call now you'll get a gift a gift If you call now, you'll get an official PBS tote bag featuring the last will and testament of Fred Rogers.

The phones are lighting up. And if you write in to P.O. Box 221 Fat Billy Lane, you'll get an action figure figurine of Billy with a croissant. If you push the button on the back, the croissant shoots up. And that was the last known audio recording of Abdulaziz, Jessica Tai, Sean O'Hara, and Paul Oppers. The four were never seen again following their stay at the Airbnb in Beecher Bay, Sioux, British Columbia. Some say that they're still single. Saluting those skinny jeans to this day. Come on!

There's a chicken in here now. Fuck! This song actually fucking rips. Yeah. Yeah. It really does. This podcast proves you can be a disappointment to your parents and still make money. Woo! Dab. But only if you go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore or www.spellore slash money please. Our parents don't love us, but we love you. Trademark Spoutlore LLC 2021. 2021.

That was maybe our best piece of bonus content yeah yeah I just imagined someone watching a murderer with a mask and a knife like you know what forget it psychos are just listening to welcome to the black parade and saluting each other why don't they just unplug the headphones and listen to it all the same time why don't they plug the phone into the headphones why do they have mics out they have a full audio setup in front of them and they're two people choosing to hold an iphone up to a microphone oh this was great guys yeah it was good a lot of great great weekend very good weekend I'm gonna sleep so fucking hard tomorrow