Episode 2 – Dirk Adventurman Presents: The Journey to Sandeater Canyon

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You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in braggart. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts.

So gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Welcome to Spout Lore, everybody. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hey! Playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello! Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello!

When last we left our heroes, they had been spending an extended stay at the Margani Library, getting up to a variety of hijinks, such as illegal bedding, uh, eating, and another thing. Billy had been helping Perel study the Dark Guard, and also potential methods for regaining his magic, which remains Perel's primary motivation. You know, he's getting used to not having it, he is still not psyched about the whole situation, so he's trying his best.

And Ving had been learning some martial arts techniques from the Speakers of the Silent Word. Also, he has a crush on one of those martial artists. Oh, this is being newly introduced? Cool! Yeah. Which one? Quenelle. Alright. Nice! Let me just go ahead and find somewhere to write that down. Quenelle? And in between training sessions, had become engrossed in a series, of pulp novels called Bringers of the Black Flame by Crosby Deanhaber.

And, uh, in reading these books, found a similarity between a ritual described in this pulp novel, with the ritual that Ving undertook to give up his shapeshifting ability, for a greater connection to the elemental planes of existence.

And through a combination of Ving's leisure reading and Perel and Billy's research, Perel was able to determine that a location referenced in the story, Sand Eater Canyon, is a real place that may or may not, he believes, have some sort of entrance to an ancient giant ruin, which itself is home, potentially, according to the stories, to a church of a primordial religion that may have a connection to the Dark Guard. Cool.

And Perel begged, pleaded, absolutely demanded that you join him in an adventure to these ruins. And that is where we find ourselves now. How is everybody prepared for this? How's everybody feeling about it? Uh, Billy is fine with it now. He's made peace with it. He's made peace with it. So he's gotten all of his, like, I don't know, his clothes and bags and stuff. And he stashed away as many bottles of water as he can fit. Um, so he's really jingly, making a lot of jangly sounds.

Is he bringing like sunscreen or like big hats or something? Definitely sunscreen. Um, the, like, a nice librarian gave him some SPF a hundred. It's just paint. It's just a paste. Billy, you should pick a different color. This is problematic for a few reasons. They only had one kind. What? Does it not look good? It's just, does it clash with my hair? It's a little too brown. Oh no. Oh no. At least put it everywhere. All right. So, Billy, he takes the sunscreen off his back.

I can't, I can't take it with me. It doesn't suit me. And other reasons. I'm unfamiliar with as a child. Uh, how's Tuck feeling? Oh, about this? Pretty stoked that he doesn't have to be in the library anymore. Right? Yeah. Tuck mostly convinced, uh, Ving and Billy to agree because he's bored. Yes. He is so amped. To get out. And the preparation that he did, that would have been a good idea. I think. To do it. Yeah. To prepare. Yeah. So he's basically just showing up with his ax in his backpack.

Like, let's go. Yeah. His little backpack and his ax. How about Ving? Uh, he's fashioned a hydration pack. It's like a skin sack that he wears on his back. The tube to his mouth. Get a little camel back. Made it out of a camel's back. Uh, he just has a centaur hydration pack. He just has a camel hump on his back full of water. And he wants a sip. Come to old Ving. God, Billy's so jealous. Here I am with all my jars. Yeah.

Um, and, uh, brought a bunch of saffron and borrowed a bunch of sunstone on the promise of bringing it back. Cause it's so valuable. But, uh, to use as a flashlight in case we do find some cavey things that we need to get into. Oh, yeah. I have our light crystal too. Cool. Billy just is, um, banking on his confidence that he can definitely see in the dark. Yeah. That is not what I expected you to say.

I thought you meant the, the fact that he can create light whenever he chooses to, but he's banking on his confidence that he'll be able to see in the dark. Having some self talk, some self talk. Great. Pepping himself up. So we have a Billy pep talk. Sure. Yeah. We cut to Billy in his room, uh, just before he goes to meet everybody. He's like, you can do it, Billy. He is, you see fine. You've never needed glasses. Probably. You can see so far. Definitely. And your skin, uh, it's resilient.

I think in the sun, it red goes good with orange. You're always cute. Don't worry about it. We should go. I say to myself, okay, bye mirror. It was nice to have you. And then a little fairy in the mirror goes later, Billy. Bye. Uh, perfect. Okay. So we find the group, including Perel, who has gathered in the only way I can think to describe it is the library is like motor pool where all their sand boats are. Yeah. Which one are we going to take? They have names. Yeah, probably. Okay.

This one is called denouement. Oh, cool. And, uh, it is sturdy. Like all McCall and sand boats. It's like a little hut, low roof. It's going to be tough. You think for a tuck to fit in there comfortably, he might have to lay down. And tuck is like, this one seems really small for me and how big I'm in a bulk phase now. And I've been trying to bulk up to get taller, to get taller, bulking up. And Perel is standing there like, Nope, this is the perfect wall. One slap slap. He slaps the side of it.

A chunk falls off. Let me just put this back. How's Perel dressed? Uh, great question. Perel is wearing a really broad brimmed hat. Yeah. Safari hat. Yeah. And he's got a tan linen shirt on the buttons undone about to like the middle of his chest. It's really bright. You can see nothing but like very pale skin underneath. Uh, but it's rolled up to his elbows. He's got tight leather pants on leather. Yeah. Oh, those are not going to breathe at all. It's not about breathing.

The, see the sheen on the leather reflects the sunlight, keeping it off of my flesh. It's not science. No, no, no. Cows burn. I think I know a little something about science. Thank you very much. Okay, man, we're just trying to help you out. Well, you know what? If I need your help, I'll ask for it. I realize I have asked for it. For your help. Thank you for helping me. And he has a real, just kind of Haversack rough sack over his shoulder full of sundry items.

See, this is the thing is Dirk is always prepared with whatever he needs. I've got candles. I've got things to light candles. I've got replacement wicks. I've got a bag full of wax. I've also got a lantern. I've got Caltrops. I've got a collapsible pole. What's a Caltrop? The Caltrop is, is like a, it's this and he holds it up. It's like, they look like Jack's basically. Right. Jack metal spike jacks. They're good for, um, throwing behind you.

If someone's trying to chase you or for ceiling doorways, did you bring water? I'll be right back. He runs away. And as he runs away, you hear the squeaking of the leather pants, creak, creak, creak, creak. And he comes back and he's got a jug of water and some food. I should, I got food as well. Just going to take a minus one to stealth. I guess. I think I already have that. Also, Billy's kind of dressed like a mommy. Dressed like a mommy.

He's wearing his clothes, but he also got a lot of like linen, like white linen from the librarians wrapped himself. Most of his face. Yeah. So it was just, his eyes are peeking out so he doesn't burn. Yeah. Great. And yet Perel loads everybody up. I'm going to be piloting this baby. Wait, should Ving, he knows how to sail. Do you know how to drive this thing? I read the manuals. Okay. You know what? Uh, I'll, I'll get it out in the open. You take it for a spin. All right, let's go.

He said, he says that and nothing happens. Ving just like slowly saddles in front of them and takes over the controls. And Ving, you take the controls gently from Perel. He slides to the side because you know what? You can get us started. You get us out in desert and then maybe I'll take over. And you slide out of, um, the like false wall of, um, like a tinker shop. Oh, cool. That works as this sort of part of the motor pool. So this wall swings out and your boat slides out. Wow.

And then the wall closes behind you. Yeah. Tuck pushes it out until we get to a place that we can catch wind. Cool. Yeah. Right. I don't know why I think that's cool, but I do. Yeah. It is because you have a, it's like it, we always kind of play it for jokes, but tuck is like super humanly strong. He does the thing. It's kind of like getting a kite going where he like starts running and then jumps on the back and the whole boat just goes like boom, stuck lands on the back of it.

And let's take that to be a perilous journey role. I'm the driver. So you'd be trailblazer. Yep. You want to be quartermaster? I'll be scout. Cool. So 2d six plus wisdom. Okay. Five. Oh, I'm going to be a quartermaster. I'm going to be a scout. I'm going to be a scout. Nine, four. We fucked this up so fucking bad. You stay on track for the most part. That's the one nice thing is Ving keeps things under control more or less. It's just when a Perel's driving and we go, that's the seven to nine.

Yeah. Every once in a while, Perel will be like, well, I guess I'll just take over here. What the fuck are you doing? Billy. Yeah. Why does all your time go to the car? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What the fuck are you doing? Billy. Yeah. Why does all your food disappear? Weird.

I didn't think it was this long a journey, so I thought we could just like have lunch and we'd be there by now. And I was getting hot, so I thought I'd just put some of the water on my clothes to act like a, you know, to evaporate my sweat. You put our drinking water on your clothes, buddy? Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry. I thought like maybe we would, when we get there, there'd be like a water fountain. There's a whole camel worth of water in that camel. I'm sorry.

Um, and Ving, you're just sailing along more or less. Okay. It's taken a little bit to get used to, to sail one of these things. You're used to ice racers and you were used to ice racers 50 plus years ago. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It's been a while. It's not like riding a bike. Yeah, exactly. And, uh, talk, you absolutely miss something super dangerous. And what is that? What tech actually did pick up that book. Uh, I think it was the book.

Cause he was like, Oh, the way Perel described it, it was cool. So he got really into it. Yeah. So he was, instead of like looking anywhere, he was reading the book and he was like, fucking Dirk is just, he just went down like a log flume on top of a log. He served the log all the way down the flume. We go off like a big dude. I told you to look out for dunes. I am looking out for flumes. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle.

It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle.

Like chunks of rock that are sticking out of the sand and you tilt it just a little too far and the boat tilts over on its side everybody tumbles around on in the inside who can say where the wind blows prel's mug of coffee's flying through the air the hula girl falls off the dashboard of the sand boat and the mast snaps oh no fuck and there's just this yeah huge crash the boat itself seems like it's more or less secure but the mast is fucked fuck and you all pull yourselves out of the wreck yeah tuck was buried in a sand dune because he was up on top his legs are sticking up out of the sand dune you can't see his top half his feet are kicking in the air billy how's billy feeling about getting tumbled around in the inside of the boat he's pissed because all of his like wrappings came undone and he can't put it all back together because the librarian did it for him so he just pulls himself out of this wreck like trailing a bunch of bandages now what am I gonna do and prel climbs up out of the hatch as well falling face first into the sand picking up his hat he puts it on his head and looks around puts his hands on his hips and goes oh yeah I expected this this is all part of the adventure and he starts digging around in his bag and he pulls out his hat and he puts it on his head and he puts it on his head and he pulls out a compass oh cool here we go compass yeah compass is way better than a working ship well I mean can you can we get the boat flipped over oh yeah can we because tuck can just pull the boat can I do that yeah totally uh defy danger strength to get it flipped over okay yeah I'll try and push it over seven seven okay great uh so with much heaving and much grunting you get the boat tipped over and you pull out a compass and you pull out a compass and you pull out a compass and back over onto its skis.

And yeah, it looks like the mast was a pretty rough snap. But it's completely shorn. Yeah, can we wrap up these lines under my body so I can just pull the boat? Yeah, you're our sail now, buddy. Yeah. You can sail. Do I have to roll for anything? See if I'm strong enough to pull it? I think you can do it. You're pretty strong. Okay. But I think what's gonna happen is night is going to fall before you get to where you need to go. Oh, no. Not night in the dirt. Yeah. The Alcoly Desert at night?

Mm-hmm. So you're pulling the boat for another couple hours as the sun starts to dip below the horizon and starts to get pretty cold. And Tuck starts, like, pulling harder because he's like, I want to fucking be caught out here by goddamn horse tribes. Are there horse people out here? Oh, God. Yeah. City people are really scared of them because they don't ever see them. And there's, like, stories of, like, caravans just being, like, fucked up by the horse tribes. Oh, yeah.

So, yeah, the sun goes down and the moon comes up. It's a pretty clear night, so there's a lot of light. But, uh, it seems in the darkness that the sands stretch on forever. Can I use my binoculars to find, like, the landmark, like, the opening to this? Yeah. How does it look? Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, even a place to, like, shelter that's not just straight up out in the open would be a benefit. Uh, yeah, so discern realities. Okay. Uh, ooh. Uh, ten. Okay.

So you get three questions from discern realities. Um. What here is not what it appears to be? So you're peering through your binoculars, looking for any sort of landmark. Mm-hmm. And you see what looks to be an outcropping of stone in the distance, like, kind of rough, jagged-looking stone. And you're like, oh, that could be it. And then the stones dip down into the sand out of sight. Like, they move? Yeah. Like, they're sitting above the sand, and then they shift, and they dive under the sand.

Rock does? Oh, my God. Well, what looked to be rock to Billy? Uh-oh. Billy, you see anything weird? Yeah. Do rocks, do big rocks just move? Do they just go under the sand? Is that normal? And Tuck drops. He's like, which direction was it? Ahead of us? Tuck starts, like, kind of, like, trying to drag the, uh, this. You know how it's, like, you're trying to, it's really hard to fucking move skis off the course, but he's, like, dragging it to a right angle now to try and get away. Oh, no. Oh, no.

What is it? I don't know. Tuck? Tuck is just aware that there's stuff that moves under the sand that you don't want to get caught by. Fuck, I hate this. Okay, so, what here is useful or valuable to me? Um, you see if you look not in the direction that you saw the rocks, like, to you. To your right of where you're standing on the boat, you see what looks to be the shimmer of light in the distance. Okay. And then, what should I be on the lookout for?

Yeah, I think as you keep looking through your binoculars, you see you're scanning back and forth, and every once in a while, you see the sand fall into itself as if something passed underneath it, and it's filling a hole that was left behind. Is it coming towards us? It looks like it's getting closer. And I'm like, Billy, am I pulling in the right direction? Tell me. I don't, I don't know. I'm pulling, which, which way's the light? Which way's the light? To the right. Okay.

Tuck starts, like, dragging the, the sand boat to the right, and he's gonna try and fucking outrun this thing. Yeah, 2d6 plus strength. Fuck, 13. Wow. Okay, yeah. You start fucking moving. Yeah. You feel the whole thing, like, heave up and over. Yeah. And drop down. And everyone on the boat, once Tuck starts pulling, is like, whoa! He's really running. Yeah, before when he was tugging, uh, tugging it before, Ving didn't, he was just, just, like, walking around.

I took a five minute break to tug it, okay? It's fine. I wasn't tugging it while I was pulling the boat. Before when he was jacking us off through the desert, um, Ving was just, like, walking around and, like, checking things, but now that he's running, he has to, like, whoa! He gets back on the stick and he has to, like, drive it like there's an engine. Yeah, totally. You have to, you have to help steer it, cause he's moving so fast. Yeah. Cool.

And, um, you really fucking run, and, uh, you get it to, like, the top of a dune and you realize that if you hop on, you'll be able to skate, like, down this side of this dune, at least. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Um, 2d6 plus dexterity. I rolled a five. Your dexterity is zero? Oh, yeah. Cause you're a big boy. Well, isn't that something? Wow. It does the backflip like… Tuck got over covered by how fast he got the… What if, what if I help? Can I help? You can only give him one. Fuck! Only one? Yeah.

What if, can I use a escape route for everyone? Yes. Please save me. Fuck yeah! That's what Tuck says to Dillo. I think that you still have to mark down the thing, and it's still that, uh, Tuck gets the boat to the top of this dune and tries to jump on it, like, I'm just gonna hop backwards and land on my butt and ride this thing to safety. And instead he hops, he hops and he lands too soon and the thing smashes him in the back and goes right over him.

So now he's on the sand on his face as the boat sails away. But Billy, you see this happening from your vantage. Okay, um, and you're not attached? No, I'm not attached. No. I'm pretty scraped up. But if you do well with the escape route and you tell me what you do, maybe you can save him. Alright, I will try escape route. Plux dexterity is really good. 13. Um, I, uh, thank goodness my mummy costume became unraveled, so I lassoed it. Yeah, Tuck is up and he's starting to run to try and catch.

Grab on! And Tuck grabs the mummy costume. And Ving grabs Billy. Yeah. And he starts just like, whoop, going to the back of the… Start reeling in the linen gauze. Yeah, I just start turning Billy around. Alright, there we go, winding him up. Thank you. Tuck is dragging now because we're going so fast he couldn't keep up. Oh, he's sand skiing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like you're getting dragged on your stomach and you're slowly standing up so you're on your feet sailing down this hill.

Indiana Jones style. This is way better than a library. And Tuck, you like peek behind you and you see this rocky crest like crest the sand before diving back under. Can I Spout Lore about what that is? Yeah, totally. Hell yeah. 56 plus intelligence. Oh, fuck. Six. Because I have zero intelligence. I can aid. Yeah. There is the creatures like this in the books that I like to read. Totally. Yeah. You read about one in the pulp novel. Oh, yeah. And I was reading the pulp novel too. Yeah.

Six plus my bond is seven. Alright, there we go. Seven and seven. So something interesting but not necessarily useful, which means you'll just learn what it is, but not a way to deal with it. Okay. Because you read a pulp novel. It's hard to say if any of that shit's true. Maybe if you do the thing that they do in the book, which is blah, blah, blah. What was the name of the monster that Tuck encountered when he was a kid? It was like it had some sort of grinding mouth. Yeah.

But it had four legs and it was really big and stony. Rock monster? It was. That could just be like the colloquial term that the kids used for them. But there is a fantasy monster called the Bulette, which is basically a land shark. Like they dig through the ground and they're predators that track people via vibrations. Okay. So I think that's the kind of thing that you're dealing with. It's like a solitary predator that lives under the sand.

And tracks people that are traveling over the surface. Yikes. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what this is. Ving goes and starts whittling down and sharpening the mass, the broken mass, making a gigantic spear arrow like ballistic in case we need it. Yeah. Huge harpoon. Yeah. Maybe we can attach it to the front. Sick. The light in the distance that Billy saw. I myself think that it's a tent. Oh. Oh. Okay. It's a tent. Cool. You've gotten closer. It's Vaughn, guys. She's back. Finally.

We can restock on Hot Pockets after all these years. Yeah. You see a big like fabric tent. Not of any sort of gaudy make, like pretty sturdy, but up in the distance on an outcropping like a big table of rock that juts diagonally out of the sand. There's a tent set up on top of it. With a little fire going. Can we use the momentum that we have from skating down the dune to get up to there or do we need?

I mean, if someone were able to, if you're able to figure out a way to keep pushing yourselves along, you could probably get all the way there, but it would take some pretty fancy thinking. Can we abandon? Is it close enough that we can kind of park the ship? Yeah, it'd be like a mad dash to get to the rock, basically. Are we safe once we're at the rock? You would guess that if it travels so freely through the sand that it would have a harder time traveling through rock. Abandon ship! Okay.

Yeah, Perel starts scrambling out of the hatch as well. Follow Klingon to Ving. Okay, yeah, I think Billy's probably safe from, it's gonna matter if Ving gets there. And if Ving gets there, Billy will get there too, probably. Great, yeah. I'm gonna use Light as a Feather to run lightly so it doesn't attract it because I have Billy and I want to keep him safe. Perfect. So, 2d6 plus dex for Light as a Feather? That is 7. Okay, perfect.

I think it's the sort of thing where you start running, Billy's on your back, grasping on, legs kicking out behind, and this beast bursts out of the sand underneath the boat and its huge grinding maw just chomps onto the boat and shreds it from underneath. Fuck, what does it look like under the sand? It's like a cone, almost. The front is really wide and then it tapers back to this really kind of lean craggy body with these segments. Kind of like a leech, almost?

Kind of like a leech, but then four thick, super powerful legs. Whoa! Little weird scales all along the legs that also move to help it move forward. Oh, like cilia? And then maybe its toes are webbed to help it swim? It grinds through the sand underneath and it kicks its legs to move really quickly. Gross. Yeah, so it just destroys the boat and then lands on its huge legs and starts looking around through these tiny, beady little eyes that you see on top of its head. Oh, fuck!

It can run above, too? But you notice that when it tries to move above, it's like really kind of waddly. Like it's just sinking into the sand? Yeah, and it moves like a crocodile. Like it's got these real wide moving legs that mean that it's not super fast above ground. Wow, I hate this thing. Yeah, and it's coming for you. It's coming for you, Tuck. What do you do? Like, Perel, when he saw Billy jump on Bing's back, he jumped on my back, and I'm like, God fucking damn it, man. Go, Tuck, go!

This is not what Dirk Adventureman would do. Save yourself! The guy's name is Dirk Adventureman, by the way. Dirk Adventureman? Go, Tuck, save yourself! I love that. Save yourself, and by extension, me! So I'm gonna try and run as hard as possible. Come on. With my fat thighs. Yeah, so 2D6 plus strength is what you're telling me. Yes. Seven. Oh, okay. You haul ass, utilizing all the power of your mighty fuse to run towards the rock.

You see Bing, like, bolt ahead of you, Billy flapping from his back like a little neckerchief. God, Bing is so fast now, it's crazy! He's on the back of the spiked-up mast, like a little hobo sack. Like a bindle. Like a bindle. I totally am. Little Billy Bindle, hang on tight, buddy. I am! And you make it to this rock outcropping. You hop up on top. Tuck, you scramble up, pulling your enormous bulk over the edge. Give it good! Fuck!

And Perel's not holding on tight, so it's like, he's kind of flopping all over the place for some reason, and I look back and I realize it's because he's trying to treat me like a horse and do the thing where when you gallop, you go up and down and up and down. Up and down. You're a cadence. And you get him up there eventually, through no help of him. And when you get to the top, he's standing over top of you. I'm lying down. Oh my god!

And he says good job, Tuck, I was worried about you there for a moment, but I knew that you could pull through. I hate you so much right now. And he runs his fingers along the tip of his hat and looks into the distance. But if you look behind you, this huge fucking gross monster, this rock eater, is padding along around the edge of the rock, but it doesn't seem like it can get up, or it doesn't want to risk leaving the sand.

So it sniffs around for a little bit, and then it turns around really slowly, and dips its head back under the sand and disappears. Bink throws the spear where he last saw it. Yeah! And looks at everyone like, yeah! You better run! Yeah, you got him! Almost got him! Yeah, you did! I heard him scream. Yeah, V! High five! He smacks my hand back down into the sand. And yeah, you see this tent set up at the top of this outcropping. Alright, I walk up to the tent. There's nobody there. What?

It's empty. There's a fire, though? There is a fire. Hello? Hello? Discern realities. Yeah, discern realities. Six plus realities? Wisdom. Seven. You get one question. What happened here recently? Okay, so you look around, and you find a bunch of, like, cushions on the ground inside the tent. There is a fire that seems to just be burning. You realize you don't smell any smoke, and you don't see any, like, fuel in the fire, but it's just crackle, crackle.

That was a terrible fire sound that I was trying to make. Crackle, crackle. Sounds like Ebola snap, crackle, pop. Sounds like Ebola. Whoever has Krispies! And, um, yeah, there's the tent and a bunch of cushions on the ground. It looks like somebody was staying here, lit the fire, was relaxing, but then you can see footprints traveling off in the direction that you were going. Oh. So there's somebody else out here, and they might be going in the same direction that you're going.

So that's what you find. You've got this empty tent with some accoutrement of some sort of desert traveler, a fire, that seems unusual in some way, and footsteps heading off into the desert. Can we Spout Lore about the fire? Absolutely, you can. 2d6 plus intelligence. Does anyone here have intelligence at all? Who should be doing this? Zero. None of us. None of us ever will ever have intelligence. Wow. Five. Mark a point of experience.

So I think that when you fail a Spout Lore like that, when you're looking at a thing, it doesn't mean that the thing stops existing. So I'm still going to describe this thing to you. It's just that it's absolutely foreign. So you're looking, you see the fire crackling away while you're digging around in this tent, but then you look back and you realize there's no wood, there's no stones, there's no nothing. It's just a low brass dish sitting on the rock, covered in symbols of some kind.

And if you look at the flame, the flame goes to just above the surface of the dish and then there's a gap. So it's just this flame hanging above the surface of this brass dish. Seems like some kind of illusion. Tuck's gonna touch it to find out. You burn yourself. Okay. Did I take damage? No, the actual, the dish is cool. Oh. Yeah, it's cool to the touch. Is the fire cool to the touch? Tastes the fire to fight it. Bites the fire. Yeah, if you try and touch the fire, you fucking burn yourself.

Okay. How many? How many damage does this fire give me? D6. Roll a D6. One. You take one damage. I have one armor. You're fine. But you go, ow, fuck. It's real fire. There's just this metal dish that has a fire burning in it with no fuel. Alright, I guess we can stay here for the night. Sure. Yeah. Great. Except you guys don't have any food. That's something to consider. So the next day you will be hungry for sure. What if I magic some food out? How?

Switcheroo or whatever I did with the when I turned all those things into breadsticks at the like weird ocean town? Yeah, right. Yeah. If you can tell me what you're turning into food. A pile of sand. I grab some handfuls of sand and I bring it up to the rock where we're on and I start like mixing it around. You're playing kitchen. Don't worry guys. Some stuff coming right up. Do it to do. Vig and Tuck know that this is how Billy does magic. So we're playing along. Can you pass me the water?

Oh yeah, for sure. Hand him some more sand. Billy, do you need any of these spices? I do. I need some pepper. And I pile a small pile of sand in front of him. I need salt. Another small pile of sand. I need paprika. And I put an actual little bottle of paprika because I had that with me. Oh, thank you. That smells delicious, Bilbo. Thank you. Nine. Well, we are aiding. Yeah. Five. All right. But yeah, so what does Billy make out of this sand? I was trying to make shepherd's pie. Okay.

So you're doing a bunch of stirring and it does start forming into like beef, vegetables, mashed potatoes, but it's just on this rock. Loose. Oh, I forgot to put it in a bowl first, everyone. So there's just a loose mash of shepherd's pie on the rock, but it smells pretty good. Help yourselves. I will take this half. And yeah, Pirelli, it's a little bit and it tastes kind of off. What?

Not in a bad, not in a like, we're poisoned, but it's like this is beef, but it tastes like cheese or something, you know, like you just kind of fucked up the flavor, but you're satisfied. Thanks, Billy. This is great. And Tuck is eating a handful of shepherd's pie. This is standard for Tuck. In pie situations, he'll scoop the middle out and walk away from the buffet table. And unless you have any plans for the evening, like the night can pass. There's really no one here. That flabbergasts me.

I know. Is there anything else we can do that's not just about lore on the specific tent that may tell us something about who was here? Can we read the stars and will they tell us where to go? Is there anything that the patterning on the pillows or the carpets? What about lunar moths? Yeah, what about the lunar moth? The lunar moths live in McCall, but you can talk to shit and ask it, what was here? Oh, you can talk to the elements. Yes, you can talk to the elements. That is an option.

Sup, Rock? Sup? Just chillin'. On ya? You? Just chillin'. Under ya? Cool. Nature of a rock is to chill, bro. You know it. Sup? And you feel it return. We need to explain this. Vink punches the ground. Pound. Rock. Rock pound the ground. Yeah, and you feel it return the gesture somehow. Ooh, strong big boy. Oh, you know how it is, man. Just a greater piece of the mantle of the earth. What, you're from the mantle?

Yeah, you know, grew up in the mantle and I thought when I'd, you know, I became a certain number of eons old that I'd maybe branch out, try and do my own thing. Thought I would become an outcropping. It's going pretty good, as you can tell. Damn, looking good. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Straight through the crest. Yeah, bro. What's going on? Whose tent is this? You have any idea? Uh, I didn't catch a name. You know, not many people can, uh, talk to me. But, um, they were pretty cool.

They were chill. They were alone. It was one entity. When was the last time they were here? Oh, wow. You are asking the wrong igneous formation, bro. Oh. I, like, I don't even, how do you judge time passing? I mean, yeah, I guess relative to my life. So pretty, pretty quick compared to yours. Yeah. Like, uh, I could tell you, for instance, just earlier, just a little bit ago, uh, this desert formed. So I don't think I can help you with like minute calculations.

I have an extensive, I have an extensive vocabulary for a piece of fucking rock. But, uh, even I can't help you with that, you know, she is bro as fucking good rock joke. So, uh, you know, if you want to know anything with more detail, hey, uh, you know anything about this almost up right there, bro. Yeah, I'm gonna need you to roll some fucking dice. Oh, yeah, sick. So you can't just ask me any question you want. It's got to be something in it for me, I guess. What do you want?

What do you, what's, what's going on? What do you miss about being in the, the mantle? Oh, hey, what was your favorite part? Warmth? Oh, pressure. Oh yeah, man. Some warmth, some pressure, just nothing like getting squeezed on all sides, you know, just absolutely crushed, bro. That's really cute. Hey, you know, man, I'm fracturing just thinking about it. I'm just thinking about it. All right, man. Easy, easy. That's you hear a deep intake of breath.

I just want to say, I, I don't know if you can tell, but I'm not like other people. Yeah, I, um, can tell you're communicating with me via vibrations through your bones, bro. That's fucking weird, but I'm into it. You know what else is weird and you might be into, I can give you a good squeeze. I can make you feel that pressure again. I just want to know more about this person. Who's he? Who's he? I can give you a good squeeze. I can give you a good squeeze. Word. All right. Sweet.

Plus a charisma, bro. That's eight. Ooh. All right. Well, uh, let me just think about how to describe a thing that's not like useful, but is interesting to you. Um. Something I noticed based on the other beings that have, uh, crossed by smooth yet rough exterior in the past. Is that this thing, two legs, does that sound familiar? Yeah. Dose to let uno dose legs, no dose legs. And also you guys usually, you all usually at some point like jam a bunch of stuff in your mouths.

Like, yeah, I just saw you do it. You cramp a bunch of shit in your face. The four of you on top of me right now, you like took some stuff, mixed it with some other stuff. I was like, I'm going to go in there and see like happy with that. Yeah. Generally. Yeah. This one did not do that. None of it. So I don't know. Is that a detail that is surprising? Yeah. I mean, I guess so. Unless, you know, maybe there were an elf or a Druid. Could be. I don't know what you're saying.

I don't even know those words. Well, I'm an elf Druid who doesn't have to put stuff in my mouth either. No, not like you. Oh. Kinda. You know, two legs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Two legs. Yeah. Two legs. Does a little tap. The other ones on the side also. Oh. Yeah. Two more legs. Oh, like a centaur. Like this, he gets down on all fours. No, no, no, no. Like the way you were. The up, the up legs. The legs you grab with. Oh, my arms. Yeah. Arms. Yeah.

Also arms it had. Ving is embarrassed. I'm sorry. Of course, arms. Hey, don't be embarrassed. I am. A rock. I know. Yeah. I'm a rock. I know. I got nothing going on. So, yeah. That's all I got for you now. Thanks, man. No problem. Here's a squeeze. I guess, do I have to do elemental mastery to squeeze them? I mean, you kind of set up that that's what you'd be doing. Yeah. All right. So, 2D6 plus whatever, constitution. Constitution. Wait. Can we just hug him? Do we have to? It's a rock, man.

You think a hug's going to have enough pressure? I mean, depends how much love you put into it, I guess. Wow. Unfortunately, Paul set up that he would be doing something similar to this. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he would be doing something special, so. Fuck. I can love inside this rock, though. Ew. Oh, yeah. Seven. All right. The effect I desire comes to pass. All right. What does this look like?

He lies down on the ground, starfish, and just starts like, sorry, guys. I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Grand shepherd's pie, man. Hey, now, I tried my best. It was good, Billy. It was good. No, it wasn't. Look at what you did, man. You made Billy cry. Okay, you want it here. And he starts pulling hamburger helper out of his pockets and throwing it on the ground. I don't want it now. Well, now nobody gets to have it because it's on the sand. And the rock starts vibrating and creaking and jiggling.

And you look over at Ving and he's just starfished on the ground. He's just like, oh, he's got his arms around the base of it like. Oh, that's tricks. And you feel the rock that you're on rumble, start to rumble. And then you hear a great rumbling out in the desert. And in the distance, you see a dune start to sink and level out. Whoa. Oh, that's probably okay. And the rock's like, oh, yeah. Ew. Wait, did that rock just come? A little bit of magma. Just came out. That was what I was.

What I needed. Did Ving just fuck this rock? Did Ving trade a sexual favor with a piece of rock? Oh, what was effectively a useless piece of information? Sand thing was related, but not in that way. Ving is rock hard. That's not. Well, we'll just put. Well, don't worry. We'll put an NC 17 at the top of this episode. We'll be good to go. No, that was not a sexual. It was a rock favor. Rocks don't have sex. They just fuck. Okay. So, yeah. Somebody was here. They don't eat.

They have wandered off in the desert. And they're bipedal. And they have arms. Yep. Two arms. Two arms, two legs, not eating. Yeah. Sounds like an elf druid. But he says not like me. So, but kind of like you. So probably maybe a full elf druid. Cool. Hmm. So, yeah, you go to sleep. Perel falls asleep like instantly. He puts his stupid hat over his face and tries to orient his sleeping body so that he looks like he's a real cool guy casually sleeping in the field.

Like he's got his hat over his face. Yeah. He's got his hands crossed behind his head and his legs kicked out and his ankles crossed. And eventually he falls asleep and then he just immediately curls up into the fetal position. And then, yeah, the morning comes. The sun rises. And within like 20 minutes of the sun coming up, it's so fucking hot. Billy's ready to get the fuck out of here. Yeah. It's boiling hot. Okay. Maybe we should start heading to that fucking gulch. Yeah. Cavern? Canyon.

Canyon. Yeah. Sorry, guys. I am that fucking shepherd's pie. There's something weird about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, now that I think about it, if you asked me to explain the difference between a gulch and a canyon, I don't think I could. Hmm. Gulches are wet. Really? I mean, anonimata pier leads me to believe that. It sounds like it would be wet. Gulch.

Okay. Give me another. Undertake a perilous journey. I'll be quartermaster. Okay. If you want. Yes. I will be the scout this time. All right. I'll trailblaze. Two to six plus wisdom. Phew. I got a shittier roll. I got 11. I got 11. I got three. Oh, no. So the scout again does poorly. It's too bright. Like, you know, that's. Oh, you have light sight. I have light sight. Yeah. So that doesn't work. Oh, right. We determined that Ving sees better in bright light. Yeah. That's so silly. I love it.

Okay. Billy, I guess because you were embarrassed about fucking up the food the day before, you're being very cautious with the water. Yeah. In fact, I'm not letting anyone have water. Yeah. Perel's like, Billy, I'm getting kind of thirsty. Could I have a little bit of. No. Only if you really need it. I do. No. All right. So if I really need it, I can't have it. Then you can have it when it's when you're like, when you really need it. Like when I'm dying. Yes. It's the only time.

Look, I'm parched, too. But like, I got to be responsible. I have to think of my family. All right. Whatever. And like, it's easier walking through the sand with tuck, because if you have trouble, like if you start skidding, he just picks you up and pushes you forward. Yeah. But then you overlook something dangerous. What is it? It's a rock crab. They're everywhere. All environs. Rock scorpion. A porn scorpion. It's a porn scorpion. It's a porn scorpion hive. Oh, my God. Yeah.

We walk right over. We're a massive hive. I guess it has to be a porn scorpion because you're all bought in already. So I think like, yeah, Ving, you're looking around and you're like, man, I love having light sight. I can see anything out here. And you put your foot like right into a hole in the sand that you didn't see. And you feel a sharp sting right in your leg. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I look into the nest. And yeah, you see what is what do they look like?

They just look like regular scorpions. But in their nest, they usually have like some pornographic pictures. Absolutely not. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They're holding up to show you. Remember, I retconned this aggressively. No, it's it's canon. It's in the episode. I want. OK, I look. I love you, my friend, Abdulaziz. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. It's impossible for me to justify that scorpions dragged magazines out into an inhospitable desert. Do you really want it?

To be that maybe they carve their own out of sandstone in relief. Are you sentient being? Would you rather it be that, Sean? Would you rather it be that or that they found some in a stump in the woods? Does it not make sense that the scorpions venom is an aphrodisiac? Well, both. It's both. Oh, my God. It's definitely just an aphrodisiac. Thank you, Jessica. I mean, I really want the porn there. But I also know people would have like a bad time if Bill was looking at porn. It's not even that.

It's that it is impossible for me to reconcile in my mind why there is pornography. I'm sorry, Sean. Sandshark and floating fire. That's right. Don't we live in a fantasy world? Bro rock talk. If I said the sandshark came ripping over the dunes on a dirt bike, I would understand your anger at me. So it makes you so horny that you start seeing sexy shapes and everything. You look at a tree and you're like, that is a fucking. An orgy of leaf people. I like that. That's pretty funny.

That rock is definitely looking like boobs or a dick or whatever you're into. It makes you see pornography, like pornographic images everywhere. And maybe that's why I thought that the scorpion, when he got stung by it, was holding up porn because it was I think it just had its claws in the air. And it was and he was like, oh, my God, this magazine's everywhere. Magazines everywhere. Yeah. I have to get to some cold spaghetti. Yeah.

Sometimes in the woods, you'll find a bag of old porn scorpions. Kids will go out there to sting themselves and then look at shit. Okay. I feel bad. There can be porn magazines in here. If you really want there to be, it's just so hard for me to justify. No, I'm fine with it. I think suggested it keeps it canonical that it makes you see pornography when it gets done. Yeah. All right. Because you get so horny. There's just mirages of porn. Yeah.

I think he's a big, beautiful breast on the top of Perel's head. Wow. His hat turns into a breath. Yeah. You keep. Yeah. So you feel this thing and you pull it out and there's like a tiny little black scorpion on your leg. Shit. Guys, do you recognize it right away? Tuck does. Okay. Yeah. Those are porn scorpions. Get your foot out of that, man. And you turn around because you're like, I can't look at my family right now. I'm too ashamed. But then in the distance over the crest of a dune nearby.

You see an elf come over the horizon with a head of curly blonde hair and lipstick on and a red sequined dress and a thick handlebar mustache. Yeah. And you hear on the wind. Hello there. And you feel your eyes go. Oh, God. Out of your head. Just for a second. Shape shifts into a wolf. Oh, yeah. You slap on the table. You slap on the table that you're on your dick. He rolls up in your face. My dick. He rolls right up. His tech. No, on his tuxedo. On his tuxedo. Billy, don't look.

His dick is rolled up. I mean, on his tuxedo. We all knew that I meant that. We all knew that I meant that. My body. And you feel yourself inexorably drawn to this dune walking towards it. No, Tuck is trying to grab him to suck the venom out. And yeah, Ving's trying to get away right now. Yeah. So can I roll? Yeah. Two D six. Two D six. Plus what? I guess it would be dexterity. To grab him? Yeah, because he's trying to wiggle out. Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah. Yep. Two D six plus dexterity.

Nine. Perel, help me. Billy's going to help, but I'm doing it with my eyes closed because you said, look away, Billy. Okay. Two D six plus bond. Okay. Because his eyes are closed. I got three. It doesn't matter. Okay. You got snake eyes. Yeah. So Billy forgot to open his eyes when. Help. Tuck. Yelled help. So I grabbed Perel instead. I'm like, no, stop doing what you're doing. We're going to, we're going to suck the poison out of you. You just start biting Perel's leg. Yeah.

Mark a point of experience. Okay. And Perel's like, Billy, no, get off me. You can't trick me. Sucking on his ankle. Ow. Billy got fuck. And yeah, Tuck, you still have Ving in your arms, but let me add her. Let me add her. What's the seven to nine? I, I don't know. I don't necessarily want it to be that you get stung as well. Cause it's just, that's so much horniness. Okay.

I think it's that Ving starts kicking so hard being like, let me, let me out of here that you can either let him go or take Ving's damage. I'll take Ving's damage. All right. Tuck roll Ving's damage, which is what? D six. D six. Three. Yeah. Ving whips his head back and slams it right into your nose. And you feel a tiny little crunch. Oh fuck. And I hold him down. And I, yes, just like that. Sorry. Stop it. Oh, our kid is here. Sorry. I'm trying to fight it.

I, I put my lips on his, the wound and I suck the venom out. All right. Constitution. No, not there. 26 plus constitution. Quick, please. 10. Okay, great. And you, you, you suck mightily. Ew. I suck so hard. And you feel a bunch of, uh, blood in your mouth and you spit it to the side and you get the idea that you got a good amount of the venom. Ving. Like about this much blood in your mouth. Eight inches of blood. And Ving, you're kicking. Tuck's holding you down.

You're looking at the sky and boy, those clouds look pretty hot. Holy moly. And then, oh, wait, no, those are just clouds. Those are just clouds for sure. I was this close to finishing. I'm so sorry. Sorry. That was crazy. They should sell that shit in bars. They do. Oh, what? It's called Spanish Scorpius. Oh, damn. And Tuck's bleeding out of his nose. I'm sorry, man. I'm really sorry. You know, I didn't have any control. I'm so sorry. That's okay. Can you put some bolt? This is up there.

And you turn around and Billy is attached to Perel's leg and he's kicking. Perel is kicking around like Billy is a raccoon. That's a, that's a bit not to his uncle. He's like, Billy, no, get off me. Uh, and I assume eventually Billy realizes the problem. Yeah. I'm, I apologize profusely. Right. So sorry. No, it's fine. You have really smooth legs. It's hard to tell. I shaved them before we left. Why? Aerodynamic, but you're wearing leather pants. I'm aware. Yeah.

And, uh, you continue through the desert. And, uh, you know, like it sucks out here for sure. It's really warm. The sun's beating down with every passing minute. Perel's pants are getting louder. It's fucking crazy. He's starting to get pretty red. Like he's sweating so much and he's got his legs really wide while he's walking. Oh, the boils. It's like, I really should have greased these things or something. Well, you can just take them off. No one's going to judge you for your bad choices.

I have a little bit more dignity than walking through the desert. Without pants, Billy smash cut to Perel has cut the legs off of his shorts up to his groin. Oh, he made chaps. No, he's got a leather diaper on. Basically, the rest of his legs are bare. Nice. Uh, being takes the other ones as chaps. There you go. Sweet. Uh, and yeah, it's the sun's beating down. Perel feels a little bit better. Now, Billy's being a real miser with the water.

Uh, but, but about half a day passes and, uh, you're all just a little bit burnt, but you see a rock formation rising out of the sand ahead of you. The walls go up high on either side, about 60, 70 feet, a tumble of like red brown stone coming out of the yellow sand. The wind is picking up around here and it whistles through the Canyon in a haunting manner. Oh, I just can't. That's not what it sounds. Like that's Perel standing behind you. He's Perel. Stop it. Knock it off.

No, this is a, a momentous moment. We've arrived at the location of our first adventure. You realize, as he says this, that you've been adventuring with Perel for over a year and he strides forward, his leather diaper creaking in the wind. His legs are so pimpled. The wind. You can see his underwear sticking out under the diaper. Yep. Here it is. Sand eater Canyon. Somewhere within, perhaps we will find the tomb within which the entrance to which we will find. What?

Perel, do you want some water? I would love some small dog. Let's all have some water. And, you guys drink some water staring at the, up at this Canyon. What now? My compatriots. What's it look like here? We discern realities. Yeah, totally discern realities. Cool Canyon. It looks so deep. Duty six plus wisdom. Nice. 10. Okay, great. Three questions from discern realities. Ah, what's about to happen. Okay. Interesting.

You get to the mouth of this Canyon and the sand is getting firmer because now it's mixed with like stone. It's got a little bit of a rock bed. There's parts jutting up and you see footprints in the sand entering the Canyon that are similar to, if not identical to the footprints that you saw at the tent the other day. Hmm. What here is not what it appears to be.

You're walking around and you see, you hear some sounds above the Canyon below and you're like, well, you know what we never thought of is why this place is called sand. Eater Canyon. And, um, tuck, you hear a sound that you know very well. And actually all of you know very well following the battle at Elaine Springs, Sandy, your Canyon very likely refers to the sand worms that come to this Canyon to mate. Oh, Oh, so it's running season. And what sounded sandworms make? I, I don't know.

I think, I feel like it's like whales. Yeah. Oh, like, Hmm. Ooh. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. So you start hearing worm song on the wind. Oh, worm song. I haven't heard this since I was a kid. Oh, so what's going to, what's about to happen is that, uh, there's going to be a lot of worms around. So at some point in the day, you're going to start seeing worms because it's feels to you thing. Like this is sort of mating season in the desert. You can smell worms fucking on the worm pheromones.

This Gulch is really wet with worms. Yeah. There's like worm goo on the rocks. Oh yeah. There's like strips of like fluorescent sand. Oh yeah. It's beautiful. When Billy touches it, it lights up along his finger trail. Oh, Billy don't touch. Okay. It's, it's worm shit. Billy. We've talked about this. It's beautiful. Uh, the last one, uh, what here is not what it appears to be. Okay. So you are looking around the Canyon for a while. And you're like, Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go.

Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go.

It but you see very faintly in this piece of rock in this jumble of greater stones what looks to be the symbol of an eye oh take this out guys oh shit oh it looks like the eye on the on the coin Perel pushes you both out of the way it looks like the eye on the coin oh my god Perel I found it the entrance to the ancient tunnels you're being a bit of a dick adventurer man it's dark adventure I see I see what you did I see what you did so he drops out of the dark adventurement thing ah what do we do what do we do um is there an entrance and he's like jamming his face into the rocks he's like maybe in here and smell what the air is different dank wind can I um either discern realities or like trap expert to see if there's a entrance discern reality yeah cool please seven okay great so you get one one question okay what here's not what it appears to be the pile of stones that you're on you do see that it's like there are gaps like it's sitting over top of something and a stone that is about two to three times the size of you Billy appears to recently based on the scuffs around the edges been moved out of place and then put back and you would guess based on your thickness and like to like figuring out small details in your environment this was moved within the last few hours who guys look here whoa I can move I can move this out of the way I think yeah yeah yeah and the stone itself you would have no trouble moving because it's so small but I am still gonna make you roll defy danger strength because who knows maybe you collapse something yeah totally to d6 plus strength yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I guess you do not collapse something you move that rock out of the way no problem making a space big enough for Billy to squeeze in per L can crawl through thing you can even make your way through and you're able to because of your caution shockingly you're kind of cautious in this situation you move a couple more aside so you're able to squeeze in as well cool and yeah you cram yourselves into the crevices in these rocks I hand billion type one of the torches who we all have a torch.

Oh yeah the sunstones. Oh the sunstones. Oh sick. Sick. I'm gonna trap expert. Yes trap expert would be wonderful. Holy shit man. Twelve. All right. So yeah you get three hold for trap expert. So Billy holds up the sunstone all around the entrance and so I'm looking is there a trap here and if so what activates it. The trap appears to be like you're looking at you dig yourself into this crevasse. Crevasse. I love it.

And the way that the rocks have settled themselves obscures from the outside but becomes clear once you're inside with the sunstone that this is actually the remains of a doorway that was carved into the stone. You see in the rock shattered sections of what looked like panels that covered ancient mechanisms. And you realize that the mechanisms themselves were secure. For example. For a very long time.

But for some reason recently have been disturbed to the point where if you pass through this doorway and even make the smallest mistake this ancient section of a shattered stone door is going to come crashing down on all of you. Oh fuck. Okay. So we got to step lightly you guys. What else is hidden here. So what you see that is hidden here is in what would be like the jam of the door like the outside edge of it. If you were to approach it when it was constructed.

You see a small circular outline set into the stone and within it a black obsidian coin with the symbol of an eye carved on its surface. Oh entrance tokens. And whoever entered this place whoever left the footsteps at the camp and in the canyon had one of these coins as well. So that coin is left by that person. Yep. Is it Allison. That's where we're going to end it for this week folks. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers. Bye guys.

Playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz. So long. And playing Fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai. See you. Thanks to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. And thank you to all of our amazing supporters. And you can support us on the internet at Spout Lore most places including patreon.com slash Spout Lore where you can gain access to exclusive bonus material. Uh.

Total full on side campaign in world of blades called spelt more Mall Brats exclusive merchandise discord access and more. And if you don't donate but you still want to be part of the community join the discord. There's a link to it on our website and there's a link in the show notes too. And if you like the show feel free to drop us a review on iTunes. Catch you next time. Bye bye. And so ends the tale of adventures three. Who tried their best. They can't. And.

Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For times of rest in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly. Spout Lore.