Episode 15 – The Thunder Rolls

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hi everybody and welcome to Spout Lore, my name is Sean O'Hara I'll be your game master today With me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz Hello Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers Hello there And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai Hello When last we left our heroes, they followed their young mender friend, Mears Fowlsmith To the Thoreau Kilby Memorial Library Yeah And uh Interesting story on that guy There's that tone again Yeah, great name, shut the fuck up, move on Oh god, yeah I know you came up with a backstory I haven't Cool Um, followed Mears to a clandestine meeting at this library with Jaunter, last name unknown Of the DeSomme Creek Theatre Society to find out what he knew about what was going on with the menders And what it turned out he knew was how to ambush people And it quickly turned into a fight as Billy came to young Mears' rescue and then Tuck destroyed a bookshelf I fucking hate books It's, the record stands Only half as much as he hates shelves Yeah, I know And uh, the fight happened for a long time, Tacoma Dome threw down with his childhood bully, Fatim It was very cathartic Yeah He called me a chunky monkey and I called him a banana I think Uh, he said the chunky monkey's hungry for bananas Yeah Which does not make any sense I hit him in the dick Yes you did, with a book, like a baseball Uh, Billy went beast mode on a bunch of unsuspecting warriors Killed a few people, has been called an Ifrit I'm so sorry Ifrit!

Ifrit! And Ving summoned for the first time his brand new animal companion, the Thunderbird And the thunder rolls And the lightning strikes Can we call this Thunderbird Garth Brooks?

No, first name, last name Garth Brooks, full name Chris Gaines, good to go Billy threw a knife at Jaunter, assuming to have killed or at least incapacitated him as he tried to escape Jaunter then pulled himself to his feet and began to escape from the library Billy pursued, Jaunter fell, and then crystal clear water began pouring from his mouth and nose Before coalescing into a puddle that attempts to escape out the door And that is where we are now, Billy, this puddle of water is very clearly trying to get away from you, what do you do?

I don't even know, like, uh, I'm shook Pissin' it! Uh, I… Perel! Where are you? Where are you? Oh, that's actually a good time Yeah, can you reach out with your… Yeah Yeah, so what was it last time, Defy Danger, Wisdom? It was either Wisdom or Charisma Billy's magic is usually Charisma, yeah Yeah, I don't have Wisdom Yeah It is in my blood, the magic, not my charisma Whoa! Boom! Psycho! Twelve!

Get at me, Perel, hit up your boy, Billy And that's how he casts spells Get at me, hit up your boy He sends a text first, H-M-U It's your boy, Fat Billy Perel's like, new number, who dis? You already know what it is, it's your boy Fat Billy coming at you on the ones and twos Uh, it's so funny, you call out, like, you put out a distress signal, basically, a mental, like, help! Uh, an SOS And you see, like, that SOS ripple through the water Yeah, cause like, I…

Cause like, I sense a weird, like, flashback of that water in the pool, and I'm just like, so scared Mm-hmm, and it's at this moment, you see Perel running down the street with a hat box in his hands And a brand new outfit that we'll get into later, cause I don't know what it looks like yet No, no, no, you describe that outfit Yeah, okay Time pauses Yeah Describe Uh, so he was going for maximum stealth So he's got tight black leather pants Leather? Jesus Christ The loudest pants you could buy?

He's got, he's got heeled, pointed black leather boots Jesus What? He's getting sexier He's got a black leather tunic that goes to the point at the shoulders Wow And he's got a billowing black shirt that cuffs tightly at the wrists with a frill So he dressed like the Dark Lord?

And he has a velvet black cape that billows behind him Oh my god And in, in the, as he's running, he sees Billy and he goes, oh, I'm so late, I'm so sorry And he drops the box as he pulls out a wide brimmed black hat with a long black feather Oh my god That he puts on his head He looks like fucking D'Artagnan Yeah, he's dressed like a musketeer I, I just think back about the pile of coins that we worked so hard to steal And we gave him, and this is what he spent it on Yeah, it's all gone The 20 coins we gave him 15, 15 15 15 coins And it's all gone 15 coins is a lot of money for clothes That's a lot of hat 100% gone Holy shit And he's running down And I see him through the window as I'm like grappling with Fatim I see him through the window over Fatim's shoulder and I was like, what a fucking nerd And he sees Billy and he goes, Billy!

Billy! Billy! What did I miss? What did I miss? Look! And I, and I just, the water Yeah He gestures at the water Yeah There's a, I want to say that it's like maybe four liters, like a milk jug worth of water Oh, that's not much That came out of, that came out of a person You can see it rising up like a wave, like it's bubbling across the water, like it's reaching forward to try and move And Perel stops and skids to a halt and looks at the water and looks at you and says, what the hell is this?

I don't know, it's like the evil water monster or something Like it's baby And he, like Perel stares at the water for a second and his eyes widen and he throws his hand out Whoa!

And his arm starts twitching and moving in a weird way and the water freezes, like turns to ice on the spot Wow And you can see it trying to melt, like the water's trying to turn back into liquid and Perel is focusing so hard as he's trying to keep it in a solid state And Billy runs up and pisses Oh my god Let a dramatic thing happen Billy does not piss He's pretty dehydrated actually So he's focusing really hard and Perel's got his teeth clenched, but he's going, grab it, put it in something I look around and there's like decorative vases in the entrance of the library and I grab one Like I just run through and grab one Totally And I run out, but I smash the window while I'm running with it You run through the like glass doors of the library Yeah And then after you go through they go, boom, and open Yeah That's great So what's the vase made out of?

Ceramic Ceramic, okay So you bring the vase out and do you just grab the chunk Yeah And throw it in And I just shove it in Yeah, so you shove it in, it's like unfreezing in the right way so you can mush it through, it's been a while It's basically like water goo right now Yeah Because it's freezing and unfreezing What is, does Billy feel anything when he touches it?

Magic Yeah, I feel, it's like vibration through my body Yeah I feel like coming off in waves It's like touching an outlet Yeah Like it's just like vibrating through you And I can feel it whizzing up into my brain and through into the sky And so you throw the water goo in there, this chunky mushy slush, and Perel, his muscles slacken for a second and then he grabs the top of the vase and he flexes again and then the ceramic becomes malleable in his hands and he just closes it Whoa, so sick Wow He's like, we need to do, we need to get rid of, we need to figure out a place to, he's like, he's stuttering as he's saying, he's like, we need to get to somewhere right now Okay Where are the others?

They're inside fighting a bunch of dudes What? Well, where were you? You were supposed to help us I thought we were getting disguises Yeah, but like, come on, time is of the essence, Perel, and you're the adult and I'm the kid and you should be here taking care of us You're so, Billy, you're so Billy, you're right. Billy, I'm so sorry. We need to get rid of it. We need to figure out a place. He's like, he's stuttering as he's saying, he's like, we need to get to somewhere right now. Okay.

Where are the others? They're inside fighting a bunch of dudes. What? Well, where were you? You were supposed to help us. I thought we were getting disguises. Yeah, but like, come on. Time is of the essence, Perel. And you're the adult and I'm the kid and you should be here taking care of us. You're so, Billy, you're right. Billy, I'm so sorry. That's the best. Do they know what I am in there? Does anyone know what I am? No, but you look stupid. And then Billy cries. He cries and runs back in.

Yeah. Like he doesn't want to be seen with this dirt. And I take the boss with me. I'm crying. Oh, yeah. So what's going on? Cut to Tacoma. So I am, I'm wrestling with Fatum. You're both getting greased up. Yeah, and it's pretty hot. Like the grease is like pushing the makeup off of me. And he's also like ripped most of my belly dancers costume off. So I'm basically back in the loincloth. But the lipstick is still on for some reason. And I'm wrestling Fatum. Yeah.

And he's like on top of me because he took me to the ground. And I like I reach around for a book to like hit him with. And I want to grab the closest biggest book I can find and slam him in the face with it. Like I want to try and fucking knock him out. What's that book? Encyclopedia A to Z. Of exotic fruits. And it's so thick. That's great. Yeah, that's the book. Yeah, it's like and it's huge. It's so thick. There's so many exotic fruits.

Yeah, and I fucking grab it and I like hit him in the head with it. Hack and slash. I love that you put yourself at a narrative disadvantage. You're like he's on top of me. He's killing me. I'm about to die. Yeah. Oh, holy shit. Twelve. Okay. Roll your damage. Sneep, sneep. Let me do that again. Yeah, he hit one. He got one. I hit my napkin. I got one. Oh, that's just cheating. Okay. I got one. That's why I hate damage rolls. Yeah, I should say.

If you hit somebody, I think you should do something to them. Yeah, but I will say that you still hit him really hard. Yeah, but him rolling off of you into a pile of broken shelf is why he doesn't take a ton of damage. But now he's on the ground. Yeah, and I get on top of him and I want to keep hitting. I'm with this book. Okay. We'll cut back to this in a second. Once we see what Ving's up to with the Thunderbird. First of all, sees Perel run in. He's like, oh, thank God. Yankee Doodle.

You showed up just in time. And then he has a big feather in his stupid hat. Is that what Yankee Doodle? Yeah. You call it macaroni. Okay. That's pretty funny. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So later again, this fight scenes. Mears has got two guys on him. He seemed to be handling himself ish. Yeah, but there's still a lot of other people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think we need to kind of get out of here, right? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. I agree.

What about starting up that fire that I keep trying to start? Sure. Let's start this fire. Fuck yeah. You guys haven't burned a library yet. Yeah. Nope. Now's the time. That's right. No time like the present. Good old fashioned book burning. Yep. Oh boy. Okay. So I'm going to elementary master. Uh huh. Element mastery. Elemental mastery. Elemental mastery of fire. I literally never said it once. This whole. This whole show. Yeah. It's great. So he's going to call on fire from within the books.

Pages first. Whoa. Words first to pages to books. All right. The spiritual essence of knowledge. He's going to start exploding. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. That's nine. Oh. I could use an aid. Oh. I'm totally engaged. I can't help. Oh. I don't know. Billy's run back in there with a vase. Yeah. Totally. And he's like exploding with magic. Um. Oh yeah. Cause he's like in almost close. Like. Yeah. Direct contact. What if. Billy. Can. Uh. Boost. So if things doing a move, he could come up and. Yeah. Totally.

Make it like bigger and better. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. So I like, I'm running in there like tear streaming. Cause I'm just overwhelmed. And I'm like. By how ugly Perel. Yeah. How ugly he looks. How much she let us down. I'm just devastated. And. All this magic. Is making me super grouchy and upset. But I see. I feel. I feel thing first. Cause I feel all that magic pulsing out of me. And it's like, I touch everything. And I can tell. I feel his power.

Like he's pulling power from the spirit world. And I. Drop the vase. And I like run to him. I'm like, I know my boy needs me. And I go up for a hug. Oh. That's cute. Yeah. That's pretty good. I'll take that as a plus one. And I help him. Yeah. That's beautiful. So you get what? That was a 10 instead. Of the nine. Yep. Great. So you get two off of that. Effect. Comes to pass. And. Avoid. Paying nature's price. I don't. I won't. Retain control here. Ooh. Yeah. That's a pretty good choice. Having.

Met fire a few times in the past. If you gave fire the opportunity to burn an entire library down. That's something that they would take to with gusto. So I think there's. A second where you call on fire. And you don't feel anything. And then boom. Just a conflagration. Like books all around you. Just start igniting. Every book. In the library. Catches fire. It's all. It all starts burning at once. Now this whole. Goddamn library is on fire. Oh. So you chose not to retain control. Yeah.

The exits are blocked. The fires is covering all the doors and windows. It's everywhere. They have windows too. Yeah. Fuck. But everybody's like. Okay. Fights over. Like everyone realizes they're in a burning library. Yeah. We're all like. Truce. Truce. Until we get out of the library. Truce. Truce. Guys. Truce. What do you do? Uh. Um. Well. The. Maybe. Um. Uh. Well. I'll grab the vase. Yeah. Good idea. And I'm like. Let's get on the bird. That's what I was gonna say. Let's get on the bird.

The bird can take Bing and Billy. Yeah. I will find my way out. That's right. No. I'll meet you outside. No. I trust him. He can do it. Uh. No. We're not going without you. Bing. Get Billy out of here. Yeah. Bing grabs Billy and. And. Gets on the bird. And the bird flies up. Out the rose window that he came in. Yeah. Uh. And so. Perel runs up to you. Looking like. The. Count of Monte Cristo. You. Look. Fucking stupid. Let's roast each other later. What do we do? You're literally roasting. Uh.

And. Uh. You look like a yam. Let's get out of here. What is that? Why is that so funny? Yeah. He's bad at insults. Yeah. He just says what comes to mind. Mears also runs up to you. Fadum runs up to you. And he's like. What are we doing? And Mears is like. It's pretty bad in here. And I turned to Fadum. Like. How are you on the team now? I just don't want to die. I'm going to kill you later. If I survive. And if you die. I'm going to say. I killed you. Okay. Cool. Get out of here. If you die.

I'm going to say. I killed you. Okay. Yeah. Whatever. We shake hands. You do that. Like. Clasp the forearms thing. Deal. Deal. Awesome. That's what we call. An idiot's bargain. If one of us dies. The other one wins by default. Yeah. So. Are there. Tunnels. Under. Crystal Bay. Can I Spout Lore. To see if there are tunnels. Yeah. Crystal Bay. 26 plus intelligence. Shit. I got a three. Wow. Point of experience. How does Tuck start trying to figure out. If there are tunnels here.

I literally just start digging with the axe. Just. Yeah. Hammering it. Yeah. Okay. So. You start hammering the ground. With your axe. And. Uh. You hear shouting. In McCollin. On the other side. Of the library. Where all the warriors have gathered. And they're like. This way. This way. He's over here. Uh. And he's like. Our savior. Our savior. Whoa. And uh. Fadum's like. He grabs you. By the arm. And he says. Come here. And I grab him by the arm. And I'm like. No. You come here. No. Come here.

You fucking idiot. Okay. We're not gonna get to kill each other. If we both die in here. Like morons. Okay. Fine. And he drags you. And Pierce. He says. Get a room. Guys. It's like. Oh. Is this sexual tension? Is this what I'm detecting? And. Perel twirls. The long mustache. That he has. Bought a mustache. He did. He twirls the mustache. And the goatee. That he has. And he says. Certainly seems that way. Doesn't it? And. They drag you over. To the other side. Of the library.

And as you're moving. The flames. Start to grow dimmer. And lower. And start moving. Physically. Towards. The other side. Of the library. And the light guard warriors. Are gathered. Around the back entrance. And the flames. Start pouring. Out of the windows. And under the cracks. In the door. And up through the roof. And as you come. To this exit. You see. The torch of McCall. Standing in the middle. Of the street. With his hands out. And the fire. Is like pouring. Into his palms. Oh. Fucking.

Showy. Motherfucker. And eventually. The fire. In the library. Is almost entirely. Put out. There's a few embers. Here and there. But the flames. Have almost entirely. Entered the body. Of the torch of McCall. And as. The last flame. Touches his skin. He puts his hands together. And he breathes out. And two gouts of smoke. Come out of his nostrils. Cool. He looks like a kid. Vaping. Yeah. And then he does that thing. Where he twists his hand. Over it. So it comes up. In a spout.

And he breathes it in. And he goes. Pretty tight. Huh? No. But all the. All the light guard. Warriors. Like applaud him. Like they're just. They're just. They're just. Falling over themselves. At this display. Of his power. And the torch. Very magnanimously. Just. Nods. And smiles. It's nothing. Yeah. And the next thing you know. Tuck. Perel. And mirrors. You all have swords. Pointed at your throats. So the torch. Looks at you. Tuck. And says. We have some questions. For you. And I have.

Face blindness. We cut to. He's. He's like. He's holding the. The. His bras together. Yeah. The. The remnants of the. Cost. She was like. Thank God. You. You saved me. Sir. I was so scared. That. That boy. Had his hands all over me. Yeah. Your friend. Found him here. He. He was. He was trying to fight me. I was so scared of him. And then he started a fire. We cut to. Ving and Billy. Are in the back of the Thunderbird. That we still haven't named. Yeah. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

Hopefully still kind of frozen water monster is in and where are you guys going what are you doing we're uh circling right above them oh okay because we're camouflage yeah so we won't lose sight of our friends so we're staying there in case shit goes down okay does that make sense that absolutely makes sense pretty sick I have pp'd on the bird I have never been so high in the sky is it cloudy the sky is yeah okay so you start like flying up to the to the cloud cover the sea of graves stretches out like in all directions the crystals of crystal bay poke out of the water and cast this beautiful shimmering light over the bay the sunset creates the purples and oranges and reds that you have become entirely tired of in your time in crystal bay you see the town stretched out before you as well the coronetta in full swing music laughter revelry can you see the moon where they are uh no it's too cloudy to probably see the moon at this point unfortunately people are like whenever you can't see the coronet during the coronet up people are like fuck uh but you know what ever since you've noticed the thunderbird has been staying nearby the weather's gotten a little bit shittier and you can see far off in the distance the lights of little sir and even further than that the spires of black glass in the far distance the beautiful steam-powered metropolis that we will probably never go to and as you fly up and up and up just before you get to the actual cloud cover itself it's night whoa what so the effects of the coronet they passed the border of it the sun is down the coronet is in the sky bright as ever but it's pitch black night above that level yeah can what is what does the landscape look like now you see the lights clearer as it's quite dark here now you see some moonlight from the coronet you see some starlight you still see the crystal shimmering as if it was sunset poking out of the water reflecting the purples and oranges and reds so cool cool so dope yeah there's a sun dome wow so this is a trick yeah time it's like a local thing there are if you guys wanted to know more I mean yes you could potentially oh my god that's so funny two ones wow pretty bad pretty bad so funny okay I guess we'll never know so you mark a point of experience uh and what's the bad thing that happens they can't see out of the sun oh yeah now that you've crossed this like field or whatever it is you can't see what's going on you can't see tuck yeah you can't see the light guard you don't know where they are yeah great that's a great one oh okay so yeah now that you've passed whatever field is apparently surrounding crystal bay you're like you're starting from zero but we cut back to tacoma dome and friends as you are being led jingle jangle jingle jangle you're being led at sword point to the docks and they give you a wide berth of the coronetta festival itself walk you through the outskirts of town down to the docks and you see jack boot comes storming out of the customs house and he goes you've apprehended the fugitives you'll hand them over to me and they'll see justice at the hands of the crystal bay customers house uh and the torch is like not necessary we'll be taking them to our ship for questioning and he goes but but I want to exact justice upon them for the wrongs they've done me jack boot he's like I I met you sir we have exchanged pleasantries before I will be taking these characters to our ship for questioning as dictated by the laws of our organization and he goes very well and they walk you down the docks onto a rowboat and the boat rows out to the purifier the purifier is looming it's huge there's banks of ores on either side you think there's maybe three levels uh on this ship there's ballista on the sides there's braziers lit with a burning fire as fire often does um tend to burn uh guys I'm running on fumes here I need to know you're good and that you get maybe we can each think of a cool thing yeah tell me stuff about the purifier uh we didn't see it from far away but as we get closer to the ship in brass inlay all over the hull there's runic symbols like you could see clearly they were carved out and then melted brass was put in uh and the reason why it's brass is because the light guard and the religion of the flame reveres the metal of brass as it is and it's a very important part of the ship and it's a physical embodiment of like coalesced fire sick well paul you got one I was thinking that there is a uh because they have the fire they have mastered the fire in the ship and they have a gigantic engine whoa um it's the first and only ship with like a massive propelling system underwater that uses steam comes out at a accelerator rate at the back so they can have like a turbo boost basically cool it's very cool yeah it basically boils the water behind it it boils the water under the ship yeah purifying the water yeah it's all it's all under around and it's all brass underneath maybe it's like two like there's a bunch like a a bunch of like rods brass rods that they can lower that like yeah like thrusters yeah where that comes out it looks like a big centaur's butthole and the centaur is looking behind like who's that behind me I'm a poopy baby it's very intimidating uh jessica um oh the captain is uh an old man and he's not wearing any of like the robes really he's got like a white sash around his waist just to like cover himself up but the rest of him is tattooed in runes yeah and he's got like a beard with uh little like pieces of shells yeah seashells and like brass rings that are like woven into his like braided beard sick and he's looking super sun tanned like you know like he's lived on the sea for a hundred years yeah he looks like he's a thousand years old and he looks craggy and old but his eyes shine bright fucking sick pretty cool all right cool yeah so you get poked up a rope ladder like they're like get up there as we're rowing and I'm like so what's your guys's deal what do you mean I don't know like we do you get dental or what do you yeah they don't say anything they just keep rowing why'd you guys join like is it good dental or what one of them sighs at the constant question he's like uh the honor of serving an ancient and respected religious order no but like what's the actual reason do you get like four on four off is it like shift work or something we get to bring renown to our family lines by serving in the martial school that keeps people safe from dangers beyond human knowing so it gets you pussy is what you're saying sometimes it keeps running the other guy's like also we get flicks days okay so we'll cut back to billy and ving on the back of the thunderbird what are you doing what's your plan I mean I think we should get down there again I don't know I think so I I can't see anything up here they're not out sailing they're still attached to the dock you'd have to dip back into the field to kind of get a good look at it and then you're like oh my god I'm gonna get up there okay let's dip into the field all right dive down uh all right birdie let's go slowly yeah um yeah you're good you're not going to be able to get too far because he has camouflage but he is not stealthy so you're not going to be able to use him as like a fucking submarine to kind of dip in and out or whatever but his eyesight's amazing well he doesn't have keen senses does he why not because that's one of his things what it's a mechanical limitation he's a little baby boy he'll get better at it but you know who has the ability to create binoculars with his little tiny ring fingers hold my vase I bring my hands up to my eyes and I do the monocular magic yeah uh so roll me a discern realities yes that's what I'm talking about eight yeah so that gives you one question off the list what do you what do you choose I guess what here is useful or valuable to me you dip down just in time to see them sword pointing uh tuck and mirrors and perel down into the hold of the purifier you're looking around super fast like where are they where are they I see perel's stupid hat yeah it's the easiest thing to see because no one has a hat that wide or that dumb or is wearing white dots with this big black circle exactly yeah such high contrast so now you see okay they're on the purifier there they are how many people are on deck oh my god I don't know like 15 oh wow yeah is there somewhere close by that you guys can land or something could we land at the pirate cave because I gotta store this vase oh yeah yeah totally nice um yeah so you're gonna are you gonna go into the cave and try and give them a vase I'm gonna see if they could hold on to it for me so you land the thunderbird outside the cave yeah yeah and you hear the guards in the cave start screaming oh guys it's just me it's us I fall off the bird uh and you just start yelling it's us it's us it's us it's us uh I have a favorite ask I lift the vase waddle it over like billy yeah it's milton milton comes out from the cave mouth like what are you doing out here oh okay well see this thing uh-huh I gotta put it away somewhere and I don't know where to put it so I'm wondering if I could stick it here could you babysit it for a while what is it um it's just some stuff say it's full of your shit it's it's not mine it's tacoma's and it's full of his shit oh my god milton picks up the vase and he looks at it oh don't look too close uh and he's like where's the opening well we had to do some stuff because the smell was really bad and as he's like holding it looking at you he looks behind you and he's like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry um that is my buddies kind of my spirit animal I guess he's a thunderbird oh now keep that shit jar safe yeah don't break it because all the shit will come out and you'll have to smell it defy danger charisma it's a genie in a bottle baby I got no wait I still have I got 12 wow wow yeah okay he says okay I'll uh he's still looking at the thunderbird I'll keep it safe really safe okay I'll come back for it soon okay he he climbs up and he pulls like a bunch of copies of love and lust out of that hidey hole and he like pushes it yeah that's totally he's shut yeah he walks in he shoves it in their little protected uh guard zone this is okay you coming back for it soon yeah it could be a few hours could be a few days but we will be back for it no we will be back for it I'm supposed to hold on to tacoma's shit for a few days yeah but it's already shit like it's not gonna get any worse oh my god okay bye everyone I would like to point out that this is easily the easiest lie to keep this thing safe the best one oh my god according to the dice apparently because it's no one wants to break a vase full of shit no they don't you're right you're right they don't uh great okay yeah so then I guess cut back to tacoma dome uh and you're on the you're basically brought into the hold of the purifier tuck you've heard stories about this kind of place and this is where they keep the people that they deem to be demons in need of execution awesome so it's covered in religious iconography it's got specialized equipment for like binding and exercising demons so there's like one of those bands that you put around your tummy that vibrates one of those uh boxes that you sit in that you stick your head out of and you sweat a lot and that's how you get a demon out okay um they all have weapons and in the pot at the end of the palm of your hand and you're like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die almost like a little nut and it's filled with saffron oh yes cool so the hold of the ship like where you are just smells overwhelmingly of saffron yeah that saffron thing's so fucking cool um yeah so you're basically manacled to chairs what are the manacles made out of brass but like it well sorry a brass looking material and where's my weapon you've it's been okay yeah yeah yeah mirrors has been uh disarmed they let him keep his arm but they took his arms yeah uh and perel had no weapons somebody took his hat yeah and he's watching a guy fiddle with the feather like oh you better not fucking break that feather cost me a premium how much did you pay for that hat six coins jesus sorry fucking christ sorry I thought you asked how much I paid for the feather and the torch asks everybody to leave and uh now you're alone in this hold with the torch of mccall we were poor for so long and now we're rich not for long it's called lifestyle inflation look it up and yeah you're alone actually you're alone with the torch and the captain oh yeah the rune tattooed captain um okay so the torch says yeah I'm not doing the voice anymore because I know he knows which oh yeah yeah and even if you kept doing the voice you'd still be in bad boy jail yeah so why do you think you're here why do you think we haven't killed you yet I don't know due process he kind of nods a little bit like yeah that's a fair point yeah you guys are pretty bureaucratic organization well you have to be when the judgment you pass out is not going to be a good thing does this mummery bring you peace of mind do these japes help you steal your nerves in the face of potential death he's giggling perel is laughing too jessica's laughing so hard she's crying tuck is laughing so hard and like that silent laugh which is his body's jiggling and he he takes a breath and he's like I shit myself a little bit oh that was not a that wasn't a fart noise that was a fart yeah oh wow yeah I the last little one was a little one shit perel is laughing so hard and mirrors is mortified and yeah the torch says did these japes help you steal your nerves in the face of potential death oh yeah absolutely I honestly if I couldn't joke I would be I almost said shitting my pants but I did that all right humor is an effective tool I've found in an individual's last moments uh so I ask you again why do you think you're here yeah I don't know you guys fuck like you talked to jaunter right yeah that guy's a fucking liar I'm aware you know well something seemed off about him from the jump yeah so he has been fucking spreading misinformation about me and my friends so you're fucking dealing with bad information man yes yes that appears to be so luckily for us and unluckily for jaunter uh he was not the only mender that we have met with since we have been in crystal bay so if there was any downfall in his plan it was the decentralized nature of the organization itself be that as it may I believe there is a piece of information that is true as you are connected to the compromising of a very important artifact uh yeah I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry looking up and around.

I'm like, wait, what's that? I don't think I ever even saw an important artifact. I don't even know what that word means. Important, important, important. What is it? Important? Imporfa? Importia? Imporvis? Mirs, have you ever heard this word? Mirs is sweating bullets. Are you actually actively trying to convince him you don't know anything? Or are you just being a fucking buffoon? I guess I'm being a fucking buffoon. Okay. Maybe I'm trying to convince him that I'm too stupid to be relevant.

Trying to convince. Yeah, defy danger, charisma. Five, six, seven. Okay, so he is kind of walking back and forth in front of you in a very trying to be intimidating way, but like casually intimidating. Mm-hmm. I know that an important relic was compromised in some fashion, and I know that you've been involved in a number of dangerous and complicated situations in your time in the principalities. What I don't know is why, or what you know.

And the tattooed man next to him with the braids in his beard, you can hear tingle, tingle, tingle, tingle as the brass rings in the braids of the captain's beard bounce against the and moves slowly in the still air of the hold, and he leans over and he whispers in the torch's ear, I don't know which one, but it's one of them. And the torch says, I know for certain that one of you is a wizard. And we cut back to Billy and Ving. So what are Billy and Ving doing?

Uh, we, well, Billy, we're swimming. We're swimming over. So how are you swimming? Yeah. I mean, it'd be so useful if Ving would just turn into a porpoise already. You could try, or it could be like us arguing. Where I'm like, why don't you just turn into a whale or something? You don't understand. You know how hard it is to swim? Well, right now, in my life, the way that I'm feeling inside, it's way harder to shapeshift. You know how hard it is to swim? Wait.

You weigh more than you could carry in the water? You can't turn around, so you're always facing the sky? It's so blinding. I like the idea of Billy has to, like, reach down because he's so buoyant in front of the water. He's like a little bobber. So it's a far swim. So how are you guys doing this? Ving's gonna use elementary master. And then, you know, like when you're in an airport and those things? So it's just in a channel. It's like swimming, but it's moving away faster. All right.

Yeah, sounds good. So 2D6 plus wisdom. Come on. Work. Yeah. Nine. Nine. Billy can help. Yeah, I'm gonna help because I'm in the water and I am magic boy. 2D6 plus your bond. Oh, boy. Not good. I only got five. I mean, we were successful in the roll anyways. Yeah, Billy still fails. So you mark a point of experience. Yeah. So what are you gonna pick? I'll retain control. Okay, so the effect that you desire does not come to pass. I mean, that's okay. We're almost at the boat.

Yeah, we're getting close. It says who says me. I when you were like, what are you guys doing? I was like, we are by the boat swimming. This is good. You can retain control, but it's just gonna you're not gonna get there. Maybe exactly when tuck needs you to. You're gonna you're gonna show up a little late. So then you attempt to call on water to help move you towards the boat faster and Billy's there and he's really focusing his energy as he's kicking behind.

He's trying to focus his magical energy through the sea waves. And you hear water man. What's going on? Like, yeah, that's a cold. No, what do you need? Oh, no, I've been talking to air and fire. I'm not fucking with you today, bro. Not happening. Well, come on man. I'm cool. Yeah. Okay. Well, then how come you didn't let air do whatever he wanted to do? What would you wouldn't let air do anything? Fire got sucked into some old dude. The fuck you care about fire? Whoa.

Hey, earth, water, wind, and fire were tight. We're the four. We're the core four. We're the OGs. I love your band. Thank you. We got a new single coming out on SoundCloud. It's a cloud made of pure music that floats around the planet. Yeah, I'm not helping you. Can't do it, but I'm not gonna fuck you up. Huh? I mean, I guess. Thanks. Yeah, you're welcome. Next time, Billy. Water out. It's okay. I try to do magic anyway, and it just like comes out like nothing like diarrhea.

Yeah, like as if I spilled some pain and it just floats away. I'm like, yeah, the force of it pops Billy out of the water for just a second. He pops back in. Damn, didn't work. And so we cut back to the hold and the torch is standing in front of you with his hands clasped. He said, so I know for certain that one of you is a wizard. Now we have methods by which we can detect magical energy in living things. They are painful. They are protracted and they are quite often fatal.

Whether or not you are magical. Wow, what a fucking awful test you have devised. It's not perfect, but it's kept a lot of people safe. So here is my proposition. Whoever in this room harbors their magical energy can reveal themselves to me and face judgment or we can take our time and work it out for ourselves. What say you? Does anyone else say anything? Perel doesn't say anything. And Mears is just like quivering. We're going to cut back to Billy and Ving real quick.

You're getting closer to the boat. You now have like, what's your plan for infiltrating? I'm going to go. We're going to go in one of the circle windows. Circle windows where the oars come out. Oh, yeah. Totally. Yeah. Okay, great. So are you just like climbing up an oar or are you trying to jump up? Billy can use his knives up the side of the boat. Totally. And Ving's using crystal claws like crampons. Crampons. Go ahead. Both of you give me a defy danger dexterity. Eight. Seven.

Oh, thank goodness. I think what it is is you do you crampon up the side of the boat, damaging some of the brass runes on the boat. You do a defy up and you shove yourselves through this oar hole. Cram yourselves in this oar hole and you flop out on the other side of the oar hole and there is a rower sitting right in front of you and you have like a second to decide what to do. What do you do? I attack first. Jump on the cover of his mouth. I cover his mouth. Whoa. Plus dexterity. Ten.

Okay, what's a ten plus on backstab? Ten plus. I choose two from this list of you don't get into melee with them. You deal your damage plus one d6 create an advantage and plus one forward to you or an ally acting on it. Reduce their armor by one until they repair it. So I want to choose I don't get into a fight with them. And then what's the other one I should choose? I think there's a case for you. Create an advantage. It could give you an advantage to somebody's next role like sneaking.

I mean, that is cool. Okay. So I'm covering the dude's mouth and I've like dunked. I've opened the oil and dunked some cloth into it that I tore. Oh, tag it oil. Billy has tagging. Right. Tag it oil. Yeah. And I'm shoving in the guy's mouth. Yeah, I'm keeping it closed. Yeah. And he's doing the thing where he's like, shut up. Just don't fight it. It's gonna be a better sleep if you don't fight it. Ah, here you go. Sweet baby. There you go. You have a good sleep. You sleep good.

And I he's what I talk is like like toga up a little bit as if they were a blanket. You pull his toga from below his knees to over his chest. His dick is just out. Oh, he's got a wrap. No, I see that it would be showing his dick. So I bring that part back down by take the chest flat like the chest like fabric from the yeah, and I just pull it up a little more. Yeah, it across and then drape it. Oh, man. Great. Yeah. So that guy is out out like a light.

Ving is going to try and go and spy and see if you can find the whole the the we call it barracks or whatever. I'm just going to follow Ving. Okay, cool. So yeah, Ving is creeping up to a higher level using his boat knowledge. He knows where to go to get to the stockade because he was a he was a nice racer. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. When you said boat knowledge, I was like, boat knowledge. The fuck are you talking about? So are you trying to discern realities? Yeah, I guess. Yeah.

Plus my wisdom wisdom plus one. Nice. So eight. Okay, great. So you get one question. What's useful here? Yeah, you come up through the rowers zone, the row zone as they call it the row zone layer the row zone layer of the boat the layer where all the rowers are awesome and you come up to like the hold where there's like racks of weapons.

You see a big door made of pure brass with a big heavy bar that lays across it barring it from this side keeping whatever's in in what is the bar made out of also brass. Hmm. You intimate by that. They're like, oh, if there's any prisoners, they're probably in this very fancy looking heavy door. So in this moment, we cut back to the hold the torch of McCall has asked the wizard in the room to reveal themselves.

Perel is silent and talk like exhales like he lets out like a fucking dipshit like so upset with Perel and he's just before you say anything. Mir says it's me. That's where we're going to end for this week. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. This has been spelt Lord joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz so long playing Ving the half elf druid Paul offers bye-bye and playing Billy the half link thief Jessica tie. Bye for now.

Thanks to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. Thanks to Adam Coble and Sage Latour for Dungeon World and thanks to you for listening and supporting us on Patreon. If that's what you do, you can find us on social media at Spout Lore most places and find the Spout Lore fan club on Facebook. Bye everybody. See you next time.

Time's abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'll be back but gladly Spout Lore