Episode 2 – In the Name of My Father

Spout Lore is brought to you by listeners like yourself. If you want to check out more stuff or give us a support, go to www.p-a-t. I'll start over. It sounds like a fucking Alta Vista ad. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing.

Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in bread. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara.

Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. All right, playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Well, no, I… Okay, fine. Playing fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. What did I miss? No, I… No, Abdul just didn't say anything. Oh. He took a deep breath and then looked away from me. I will say hi to everyone on behalf of everyone. Nice. When last we left our heroes, a confrontation between Ving and his father, Dathaniel, the ranger king.

Things were tense off the bat. Dathaniel was not happy to be meeting his son at the mouth of a wizard's tower. So he asked him to join him at a cave further away. I mean, what dad would be? To find his kid in a wizard's tower again. Yeah, right? Oh, my God. You can't drag him out of these places. So Ving went to this cave, which appeared to be some sort of ancient neutral meeting place from long ago. Mm-hmm.

Ving went into the cave, spoke to his father, had a very tense conversation, during which Dathaniel unexpectedly made a plea to him. Mm-hmm. To help him. And in doing so, complete his gesh. To destroy the ranger king, Dathaniel proposed that Ving aid him in taking down the court of the woods in its entirety, destroying the title of the ranger king, freeing Ving of his gesh, and also getting revenge on the organization that Dathaniel sees as being the reason for his torment.

That torment coming in the form of some confessions about the nature of the relationship between Dathaniel and Ileana and Dathaniel's feelings for Ving.

That confession taking the form of a vision that Ving got from a moonstone he threw into the fire, using his new advanced move, Night Moves, in which he communes with the spirits of the sky, seeing a battle at Hibernia through the eyes of Dathaniel, a pitched, terrible, bloody conflict that ended with Ileana in her polar bear form falling upon a spear wielded by Dathaniel in… An instinctual defense.

And Dathaniel's attempt to end his life in the conflict before being saved and forced to carry on. We returned to the fanny pack, but we came back to the party making a breakfast slash picnic for everybody upon their return, including a very parental interaction between Billy and Tuck as Billy attempted to pour granola. And for all intents and purposes… Baseball game. In the outdoor area, quote unquote outdoor area of the fanny palace.

Ving returned, explained the situation after some contentious argumentative conversation between Tuck and Ving. Everybody agreed that helping Ving help his father and completing his gash takes priority. Maggie said, all right, think I'm done here. I'm not here to take down a government that I am not involved in. So she's going to go… I'm not here to take down a government that I am not involved in. So she's going to go… I'm not here to take down a government that I am not involved in.

So she's going to go and put some feelers out and see if she can't gather some help for what she sees as dark times coming. And the party mounted their individual Thunderbirds and took off into the skies. Here is where we find our heroes now, is on the back of Cloudpiercer, coursing through the air towards the Boreal Reach, which is a paltry distance to Cloudpiercer. You will get there in less than a day for sure. Okay. How's everybody feeling on the back of this bird? Right now?

Billy is like, kind of like a frozen shape of himself. Like all the wind and moisture up in the sky is just frozen across over him. It's just kind of two spots for his eyeballs and two for his nostrils. Perfect. We're bad parents. There's down everywhere. We could have done something. We're basically riding an Arcteryx jacket. I do like the idea of… Idea that there is a bird in Cloudpiercer's army called Arcteryx. Oh, I love that. He's the fluffiest one. He's the fluffiest, warmest one.

And he is impossible to talk to. He's so arrogant. He's so arrogant. Pretentious. Hello, I am Arcteryx. You know, down is really the warmest kind of feather. That's why I still have all my down. Because it's warm, not because I haven't shed it yet. How are Tuck and Ving feeling? Tuck feels good. He's not cold or anything. He's just Tuck. For sure. He knows where we're going and who we're going to fight. That's all he really needs. Right, that's a good point. He's got a target.

He knows that this is going to get Ving out of his gash. That's good. Yeah. And also the Gibbous Man is out there and trying to destroy the world. So that is a big thing that, you know what? We'll deal with it. We'll deal with it when it happens. Exactly. How's Ving? Ving feels considerably light. Oh. The confrontation was building for many, many years. And here he is dealing with that in some sort of form. So he doesn't really know how to feel, but he knows it's the right way to deal with it.

Yeah, that makes sense. You know, it's like, yeah, there's some uncertainty has been stripped away, so it's less like oh my god, what's going on with my life? Yeah. Yeah. It feels good to some things happen. He's a little doesn't know what this core of the woods thing is going to look like, but that's never stopped us from doing. We're going to do what we do. We're going to chaos and good and chaos. Chaos our way out of this. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah.

So yeah, you guys have a deadline of you're supposed to be there in two days, but what do we or do we want to do a perilous journey to sort of see what's between here and there? Or do we just want to go to the forest? And say two days pass you camp for a day and meet to Daniel. Yeah, I think I want to do a camp. I think that's fun. Yeah. Where do people want to make camp? There's an old what we call a winter camp.

There's an old winter camp outside of the Boreal Reach like a winter camp, like a camp, like a campground. Yeah. Okay. So fun. Like a day camp. I don't know if they still use it, but they don't use it this time of year. It's like for the rich kids who would be in the court. They would go out there when the parents were still working, but they weren't in school. Okay. Awesome. Okay. Winter camp. Winter camp. Okay. So we're going to a winter camp.

You give Cloudpiercer some directions to where you remember this place being. Yeah. And a few hours later you see like you're approaching where the Great Forest is. So now it's you just see it stretching far into the distance. You see the Boreal Reach, all the like towering pine trees and firs that creep up over the mountains.

You're high enough to that you can see the biomes in the forest change into the different like regions, the different groups of trees and the different kinds and areas of the forest. And at the very edge of this huge tree line, there's like a lake and clustered around one side of the lake. You see snow capped buildings. That must be this camp that Ving talked about. And Cloudpiercer does a big arc. So you take a look at the camp to make sure that everything's okay.

You want to roll to certain realities? Yeah. I think so. Yeah. To make sure no one's around. Yeah. 2d6 plus wisdom. Okay. 13. Jesus Christ. Wow. Yeah, you remember this camp. Yep. No problem. Ving lost his virginity at this camp. Oh yeah. I lost my virginity twice at this camp. What should I be on the lookout for? You from this height and Cloudpiercer also looking. He's got like his eye pointed sideways as he's flying. Yeah. And he says, there doesn't appear to be any footsteps Ving.

I think that the camp is empty. What here's not what it appears to be. You're not so sure because there are many things in the north in a wide open tundra camouflages key. So you see a tree that you're like that tree does not belong. It's old but it wasn't there before. Yeah. And as you're looking at it, it kind of shakes and a bunch of snow falls out of the branches like it's like it looks like if you could hear the tree, it would go and all the snow falls out of it.

What happened here recently? So treants are a thing in fantasy RPGs. They're kind of like let's not break the Tolkien IP and it is a living tree. Let's talk about these things. Jerry spelled Laura on them. Yeah, let's roll to D6 plus intelligence for spelt Laura thing. You probably know them. I guess or Billy Billy. You are a tree. That's a good point. I forgot. And you were like the tree max. Like I feel like you're. Yeah, I guess. It's like tree seven. Okay, seven.

So interesting but not useful based on our world so far. I think that the treants or we can come up with a better name for them too. I don't think they're technically actually trees because I think a tree that has come alive is maybe just beyond the current state of the world. It's like a fairy or something different or it's like yeah, it's like a sentient being that more looks like a tree than it is a tree that has become a person.

What if they're really really really really really old knowledge trees that gain sentience through getting being injected all this knowledge of humans and people and culture. I mean maybe yeah, it is a tree that over time has like become so imbued with knowledge that it became more sentient and is like I'm gonna go walk around. What if these tree ants are the trees that surround a ritual spot like century almost like they guard us a sacred spot.

Yeah, I guess it's like the trees from a sacred spot over the generations where like stuff happens. They gain sentience from that. Yeah, cool. Maybe that Arbutus on Hibernia was a sentient tree. Yeah, totally. Yeah, and it'd be kind of cool if they don't move that often. Yeah, but occasionally because they are connected by like the root system. Sometimes they want to take like a vacation in a way. So that's what Billy's saying. He's like probably just wanted to get away from like all the noise.

It's a nice lake. And he's probably enjoying the sounds of the wind. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, I actually I like the name centuries. Yeah, it's like a century century. Yeah, totally. So what happened here recently as Billy is like, oh, he probably just wanted to vacation is sometime in the last 40 to 50 years. This tree like wandered out of the forest and just came to sit next to the lake. So it's probably safe. You don't know. You know that these things aren't super dangerous.

They're not really fast to be a threat in any way. And Tuck is like, okay, just as long as that tree doesn't catch fire. I think I'm fine. Can we go not near that tree? So I guess we just don't build the campfire around that tree. Yeah, we're not going to build a campfire when we go down there, right? Because I don't want to maybe accidentally set a fire on this tree by accident. I'm sitting in the front kind of like cradled between Ving and I turn around so you can see my snowy face.

I'm like, why can't we have a fire? Oh my God. Oh my God. I reach around and I put him between us. You said not to let go of Cloudpiercer. We didn't know you were so cold though. Wear one of these and Ving takes off one of the pair of mittens he's wearing. You've had extra gloves the whole time. I'm going to kill you, Lloyd. Yeah, so you guys land. Cloudpiercer sets down at the camp and there's a collection of like, what do elven constructions look like? Aren't they very tree-y, like organic?

Yeah, maybe it's more like the trees around the lake have been grown over time into like… A lot of willow structures. Yeah. Living structures. Yeah, places that are in raised roots creating little things and then trees that have been grown up and into roofs. And you set down and the tree, the sentry, you hear it just like, creak as it turns to look at all of you. Hello, old timer. Hello. Do you mind if we stay? Doesn't bother me. What's your name?

My name's Leaf and I'm just kinda taking in the sights, thank you very much. It's nice this time of year. I'm glad you didn't come in the winter. Can be very depressing. This isn't the winter? What? That is… I have to come clean right away. That's a joke I stole from Eurotrip. So funny. It's good you came to Bratislava in the summer. In the winter, it can be very depressing. So funny. When they go to Bratislava in Eastern Europe and it's like a miserable, terrifying place.

Like, is there a train here? Yes, there is a train. They are building it now. It's one of my favorite characters in any movie. You're American? I love America. Hey man, Miami Vice, number one new show. Can this be the tree? He could have this voice. Oh, that's so funny. That's pretty fun. Let's do that. Okay, yeah. My name is Leaf. Welcome to camp. It's a nice time of year. It's good you didn't come during winter. Very depressing. Where are you coming from? We came from further north.

I don't know. You might know this because you're super old, probably. I am super old, yes. It's true. You know a wizard named Addernack Allwater? His name does not ring a bell. Okay, well we were at their tower. It was a tower. You know that giant well of magic water way up north? Oh, the good water. The good water, yes. The champagne of waters. Technically it's only champagne water from Champagne Rison of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling magic.

Yes, I am not familiar with tower, but yeah, I remember good water. Okay, yeah, that's where we were up at the good water. Do you have any good water? I do, actually. Hey, you mind sharing with Leif? Oh my god, if he like picks a root up out of the ground just like a little elephant trunk. Oh yeah. Yeah, just let him sip out of one of my bandoliers. Isn't this the water that Perel puked out? Tuck. It's still water. It's still good.

He reached like a root comes out of the ground and snakes towards you like a little elephant trunk and dips into the vial. Holy shit. Baby! That is the stuff. Love it. We are new friends. Best friend. My name is Leif and your name is what? Ving. Ving, nice to meet you. Ving. I'm Tuck. Hey, Tuck. I'm Fat Billy. Fat Billy? Hmm. And you're like as the trunk like bends down. And he kind of pats around my head and sniffs around. I remember you. You remember me? Oh, it's my old buddy.

What's your name now? It's Fat Billy. Fat Billy, my old friend. Fat Billy. It was hard times when we were last hanging out. Oh, it was hard times. Dark times. But we get through and we become stronger. Dark times. Dark times. But look how strong I am now. Look at you. Look at your new farm. And Billy does like a little slow twirl around so you can see all of me. Oh, so strong. Strong boy. Strong boy. I am strong boy now. Look at me. Leif is doing pretty well as well. Not bad. Not bad. Not good.

Not great. Not one. But not bad. And Tuck is like, wait, how do you guys know each other? Old friends. The Winter War. You guys fought in the Winter War together? The Winter War. Really? Yes, this was when Leif was a little sapling a long time ago. I saved him from an arrow and from a stampede. Oh, he did. And then I returned it in kind when I slew what are those stop stopping. A rock and stab. Oh, the golem. The golems. I slew a golem to defend my brother in arms. Wow. That was a long time ago.

Do you mind if we spend the night here? Not at all. I also am spending the night here. Okay. Where are you going? I'm going out there. Any gestures towards the tundra? Be safe, Leif. Oh, don't worry. He's going to take me a long way. A long time. I have been passing through this camp for maybe 16 years now. Not that long ago, I feel I was just over there. He's gotten so speedy. You know, Leif still got it.

And he kind of like, a Leif comes down and slams into the trunk like, I'm strong, I'm fast. I have my whole life before me. You do. Well, please, pull up a log or rock. Take a cabin, if you so desire. You are welcome at Leif's camp. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. It's good to see you, Feithbierle. It's really good to see you, Leif. And a little root comes up and wraps itself around your shoulders. Should we make camp? Make camp. Make camp is a move. And I'm going to make you do it.

Okay. Do we roll for it? You do, in fact. Fun. 2d6? Uh, give me a sec. Let me find… I'm just going to roll a 2d6 just in advance. Everybody slow down. Everybody slow down. I got boxcars. Whoa. I want to keep my roll. I'm keeping my roll, too. Hey, guys, guess what? Not how it works. What? You can't bank rolls. When you settle into rest, consume a ration. No, this is we're doing the make camp move from Perilous Wilds. Okay. So it is similar. Oh, wait.

So when you settle into rest, choose one member of the party to manage provisions. I'll do it. Okay. Billy's remembered back to the jerky flying out. No, no, no, no, no. I got it. Okay. So manage provisions. When you prepare and distribute food for the party, roll plus wisdom. 2d6 plus wisdom. I got 11. Jesus Christ. Choose one from the list below. Careful management reduces the amount of rations consumed. The party consumes the expected amount of food, and the food you prepare is excellent.

Describe it, and everyone who licks their lips takes plus one forward. Yeah. Which is always the one we do. We're doing that one, and we're doing a weenie roast. Oh, fun. Oh, nice. Yum, yum, yum. Did I lick my lips too early? No. I mean, we could describe the food a little bit, but it sounds like you're going to love it no matter what. Everyone describes their weenie roast. Yeah, everybody described the hot dog they're making. My wiener is cooked to perfection. Great.

I got a really even sear on all sides of the wiener, and it's just really good. Oh, and it's got the cheese inside. Oh, nice. I was going to do cheese inside too. This is so great. Yeah. All right, let's hear your wiener. I found a forked stick, made sure it wasn't alive, and accidentally now I have two. Whoops. Gotta eat them both. Whoops. Wow, he served himself a double portion. Double wiener. Whoa. That's fine. Oh, it looks who's in charge of the rations.

Billy doesn't say anything just because Vink's had a hard day. Yeah, totally. That's fair. I say, don't worry, I'll give you thirds, and then I eat both of the wieners. And I have, in one of my sacks, I got a little mustard seed. Oh, nice. So I mix that up with, um, I got a prickly pear. Yeah, I'm going to use the prickly pear, so I'll take that off of here. I'll use it like, it's not really oil, but I'll mash it up with these mustard seeds. Delicious. Interesting. What about Tuck's wiener?

It looks weird. Yeah. Did it, like, explode on one end? Yeah, it really, because Tuck was scared of getting too close to the fire. He made a really long roasting stick. So it's, like, out of control. Yeah, and he's, like, 40 feet away. Like, all of you two next to the fire, every time he moves a little bit, it whips around. Gee, watch your wiener bow. Wiener control. It's all slapping us in the face. It's, like, yeah, it's smacking it into the fire a lot.

He's just trying to, like, get it an even distance away, but it's waving around a lot. Yeah, a lot. Live embers, like, flying out and, like, getting too close. To Leaf, and he's, like, whoa! Leaf is, like, you're being smart. Stay away from fire. Fire's no joke. This is actually more dangerous. Tuck's, like, that tree's gonna catch fire. You guys gotta be careful. Boof. Slap, slap, slap. Hot grease everywhere. And eventually it's just burned and ruined. Perfect.

Just like in the streets of Macaw. All right. Oh, my God. I forgot. Great. Perfect. Everybody gets plus one forward. All right. All right. Cut it out. Cut it out. You have beautiful teeth. You do have really nice teeth, dude. Can you not, though? Stop it. Thank you. Because we can't look away. I am enchanted. I'm hypnotized. My fingers were really salty for some reason. Mmm. Ugh. That's a Texas. I ate the wiener with my hand.

I didn't put anything on it, and it just tasted like mustard for some reason. I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened. Ving has like mustard all over his face. Yeah. From Tux Wiener? If you're bedding down in dangerous lands, this is the next part of the make camp move, which I would consider the north is always a dangerous place. Decide on a watch order. Then the GM chooses one person on watch during the night to roll plus nothing. I haven't done watch really. Yeah. Okay.

What do you guys do at the camp? You just kind of vibe out? Yeah. So first, while I digest, I tell a ghost story at the camp. I'm like, I'm going to go to the camp. Oh, cool. All right, tell it. Tux come close for this, because sometimes Billy's ghost stories are really fucking scary, because they paint quite the picture in your head. Yeah. And sometimes they're really stupid. Yeah. Tux likes both options, but some of them are spooky as fuck.

Okay, guys, do you want a funny ghost story tonight, or do you want a real ghost story tonight? I want a real ghost story. I want a really funny ghost story. Shit. We can make it funny. You can't have both. No, but I'll go with the funny one, because Ving said he wanted funny, and you seem to want funny. Well, now, but I shouldn't have asked. I should have just done what I wanted. You just tell us the most recent ghost story you've heard, if you want. Okay, I'll tell you about the horn. Okay.

The Ghost in the Horn by Billy. We all go, ooh. There was once a dark elf general who stormed across the tundra, and he had one goal in mind, to break his spear upon the skull of the first druid he came across. He was very scary. His eyes were black to let in the light from under the shade of the canopy he lived under, and his skin was white. Like the snow. So he'd blend in with his eyes closed. And Billy starts doing little shadow puppets in the fire, in the firelight.

Oh my god, they are very articulate. They are very articulate, actually. They shine up against the trunk of leaf, and it shows the elf as he sprints and turns into a wolf, galloping across the land. He comes across the druid. There's a woman.

Night as the druid sits and meditates in front of the fire but before the spear pierces the head of the druid the druid whips his head around his body doesn't move and he casts a curse upon the elf whoa sick you shall burn in the depths of hell before I ever enter his arm falters and the spear crashes into the fire and bursts into an explosion of embers and through the smoke whistles an arrow that goes straight through the eye of the elf whoa what and as he falls his spirit remains standing he tries to run but his feet are rooted into the ground whoa and he feels the heat of the center of the earth crawl up his roots and into his legs and it's agony the druid bends over and he puts his cloak of furs back on and he pulls from the fire a scorched mask and he places it over his face.

Whoa! So cool! And he approaches the elf's spirit and he says forever you shall burn and he opens the horn, breaks it in half and the elf's spirit is sucked inside and the and Billy's like getting all nervous. He's like, oh I'm trying to remember properly. And the druid feels triumphant as he carries the horn back to the fire where over it sits a pot of metal. He dips the horn into the molten copper and it seals the spirit inside and forever he shall burn. The end!

And it talks like a really funny story going. I thought it was pretty funny. Pretty funny that he thinks I'm gonna get the druid but then he gets shot instead. It's a hilarious story, Billy. Like who shoots him? Who knows? It's hilarious. Stupid elf just arrow in the eye. It's so funny. Yeah, real classic turnaround shoot him up. Leafs branches like shake as he's like, oh! Stupid elf. I like the idea that Billy does the classic like ghost story ending where he's like, oh, I'm gonna shoot you.

He's like, the guy said forever you will burn in hell and since then he has lived in this horn! And then he fumbles it and it falls into the fire. Billy pulls it out with the hot dog stick. He's like, it's fine. It's fine. It's not burned. That's very cool. The mausoleum reaching into the fire and pulling out the mask and putting it on is so fucking cool. Putting it on while it's still burning. Yeah. It's fucking scary. So terrifying. Yeah. That was fucking sick. That was very great.

The mausoleums were druids? I guess so. That's so cool. Mausoleums that dealt with the spirits of men instead of the land. They were exiled as is tradition by the druids to wander alone. I think because they can't bring that sort of energy back to their groups. Yeah. So maybe each clay of druids has to sacrifice one of their number. It has to be a volunteered position. No one has to do it. Okay. And then everybody goes to bed? Yeah. Great. Let's go for lunch. Except for Tuck, I suppose. Yeah.

I don't want to go to sleep. Oh, yeah. After that. I'll just stay up and try not to dream about anything. So, Tuck. I'll take the watch. I don't want to dream about your hilarious story, Billy, or else I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. Yeah, because it's so funny, right? Because it's so funny. I'd be laughing so hard I couldn't fall asleep. I'd be laughing so hard that tears would come out of my mouth. That tears are coming out of my eyes. Did you hear that? And out of my mouth.

And out of my butt. And then Tuck writes in his journal, Dear Diary, Sometimes my son scares me. And I think that's a beautiful thing. Okay. Then I am choosing Tuck to roll plus nothing. A flat roll. 2d6 plus jack shit. We all know I'm the luckiest person. Yeah. So this is great. Eight. Eight. I mean, I think Tuck has a really bad sleep or doesn't sleep at all. Yeah, I think Tuck doesn't sleep at all. Yeah. So the stars in the sky, the moon passes in an arc.

Every kind of like crack in the woods because we're like we're on a lake that is like close to the woods of the Boreal. So creepy. So, yeah, everything in the night. I'm just like, it's probably not a burned man carrying a bunch of horns. Probably not that. Probably not a burned man wearing ghosts. And Tuck is talking. Talking to TLC. And they're also freaked out, too. Oh, man. Especially because Billy's. He fell asleep, curled up in front of the fire, spooning that horn. Yeah. Do you remember?

Do you remember when we were in a mall? Oh, God. Mall was so fun. So fucking sick, man. There's like taco places and like an arcade and shit. And that fucking ripped. That was sick. It was so sick. And now. And I mean, like, you look up at the night sky and the stars and the moon and the coronet and you're like, there's everything. That's a problem for me. Right. Even the night sky brings no comfort now. Because it's like, yeah, there's everything that we're fighting against or for.

So you're just sitting there gripping TLC. Yeah. And they're like, man, I miss being in a city. Remember the city where everything was safe and you could hear people dying sometimes, but you knew what was killing them. It was just another person. And there was no darkness. Remember? The cities where it's just bright all the time. It's never dark. And then eventually the sun rises and you do find some comfort in that. Yeah. But not the comfort of a good night's sleep. You feel like shit. Oh.

Do I need to take a debility to anything? Constitution? Nope. Okay. Just remember that I feel like shit. Yeah. But you're feeling okay right now. Yeah. And that's what I tell everybody. You've got like dark hollows under your eyes. Yeah. Yeah. Oh God. I have dark hollows under my eyes. And then also, the axe has dark hollows under its eyes. We both look like shit somehow. The crystal spike is a little droopy. Yeah. Like an orc is Finn. Yeah. Exactly. Right. Yeah. Totally.

And the, yeah, the copper looks like kind of like burnished, like kind of like. Yeah. Shitty. Yeah. A little shitty. Yeah. Yeah. Little green on the edges maybe. Totally. It looks like it's sweating. The axe looks sweaty somehow. And, uh, leaf, kind of creaks around and goes, oh, boys, you don't look so good. And I go, well, I feel fine, leaf. Okay. Well, just be careful. You and the little ones in there need their rest. If you're going to be prepared for the dangers of the north.

And then Tuck's like, fuck. What dangers are you talking about? The dangers of acidic soil. Very dangerous. Water with too many minerals. Dangerous sometimes. Or like a bug that gets in your bark and digs around in there. And it's like, get out of there. Sometimes a squirrel goes inside your branches and bites on you. Gotta watch out for that. Some homeless man walked towards you with axe. And you go, well, buddy, not for me. Okay. You know what I mean? So be careful. Okay. Out there.

Get some sleep. Your axe needs sleep as well. Okay. Thanks. Sleep. Hey, no problem. Just keep that axe away from me. Yeah, man. I'm not going to cut you down. Okay, great. And you see, it's like, like its roots are like, like it's moving forward. Maybe a millimeter. Yeah. It really wins him. Yeah. Oh, there we go. Bright new world. No darts to dig in. No bugs to piss off. What are Ving and Billy doing now that the sun has arisen? The sun comes up to Ving doing his morning stretch.

Oh, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Oh, beautiful. Billy's also trying to do morning stretch. Ha ha. And yeah, you see your, your, your traveling companions, your closest people doing stretches next to the frozen lake. Uh, uh, goes up in oils. Ving. Usually does this when he's exhausted. Oh, he didn't sleep at all. I don't think so. Look at his eyes. They're haunted. Oh my God.

What could I have said? It's probably that hilarious story. You told us right before sleepy time. Was it? You know, I was thinking as I was falling asleep, maybe it wasn't that funny. It's not your fault, but it was pretty spooky. And you guys have, you know, a day basically you're supposed to meet Nathaniel at the edge of the boreal reach. Do we think tomorrow morning or tonight at like dark? Oh, tonight at dark. Tonight at the door for sure. Midnight. Okay.

So I guess you're near the edge of the boreal reach now. Actually Ving unbidden to your mind. You just remember a place. You're like, this is what he means when he says, meet me at the edge of the boreal reach. He means this place. What is this place? It's a ceremonial place where people leave for their winter walk. Ah, you'll leave the forest on the edge of the tundra. So you know that he sees that as a place where you would return to the forest. So that is where you have to meet. That's sick.

Yeah. And it's going to take you probably the better part of the day to get there. The cloud piercer, like drop us off and fly off. Or is he, he nesting nearby? Right. Right. If we're too close, close to the forest now that like the elves would spot us on cloud piercer. And we want to maintain the element of surprise. We might have to hike the last bit. And cloud piercer agrees. He was sleeping on the ground near all the huts this night and says, you are all correct.

I am far too big a target for you. Now I will take to the skies. Are you going to go back and fight throne breaker? Throne breaker still gathers his strength. You dealt him a devastating blow. Okay. His forces rally in the sky. Do you have to return to your war? I have to return to my war, but I will come when you need aid. Uh, Ving says here, will this help in your fight with throne breaker? And he hands cloud piercer, the shard of the bees or that he took from throne breaker.

It may, I know not how, but it couldn't hurt. Jam it in the necklace that I wear. I hope this comes in handy. I hope it does too. There is nothing left. For me to do here. He slowly awkwardly extends his wings. Is it just me? Is it always awkward when he leaves? He's not good at goodbyes. Fair. Goodbye. My allies. I'll see you in a while. See you soon. I I'm going to caca. He takes to the skies. Good luck. Wow. There's a big ass bird. What? You didn't see him when we landed. He was behind me.

I couldn't turn around fast enough, but there's a big ass bird. It's pretty cool. Glad he didn't come in here. Right? And poop all his bird. Poom. Hey, so it's a nice morning, huh? It's a beautiful morning. You remember the morning after the battle of, I shouldn't say it's okay. I do think about it, but I try not to. It was a bloody morning. The sun ran red with the blood of our enemies. Sky reflected red. It did. Many lives were taken and lost on those days.

A lot of life in that tiny little body and brain. He's amazing. You have not yet. Sorry, what? He's amazing. He's little barley. Haven't. Is that a possibility? Yeah, they haven't changed. You know, I feel it. Who wants to sometimes? Oh, fairies, you have to be careful of these things. I know. Anyway, yep. Time to be hitting the old roads. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Old road for me too. We got a long hike ahead of us.

Was wonderful to see you again, Billy. I will see you again soon. And he reaches out a little root. And I reach out my little hand. Shake. And I shake. Okay, time for Leaf to go. And all his roots, and he moves another millimeter. Oh boy. It was nice to see my friends, but now they are far behind me. May the wind be- Jesus, you're still here. I'm sorry. Sorry. Whoa. I forget like, you know, the speed of which you travel. It is natural, don't worry. I know.

I was just only going to say, may the wind be always at your back. And may the roots beneath your feet- Never find sugar. May the roots beneath your feet find good water, and sugars, and little bugs. Thank you. Fare thee well. Fare thee well. Okay, you guys, we should probably go so he doesn't get confused again. Okay. I feel like he starts a conversation literally every 20 seconds. He does. Get the fuck out of here. And you pack, you grab your pack, and you head off into the snow.

We sneak away as quietly as possible so he doesn't start talking to us again. Friends, where do you go? And you head off east, along the tree line. And now that you're close like this, and walking along the trees, Vang, I feel like it's maybe weighing on you a little bit. You're like, fuck, fuck. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming.

There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming.

Lived in the great forest I know I guess I guess not I mean we can talk about if you if you think it would help do you think it would help would it help you I mean that's all that matters I mean it might I don't make that a practice of mine but if you guys think that would help so billy tries to like prompt you yeah and to see if it helps um let's try this out so and how do you feel about that oh god about what that of what you're thinking about use lightning in a bottle oh whoa smart yeah yeah tuck says that to me he leans down and I I'm like yeah I ask I'm like can you use lightning in a bottle on bing to like force him to do therapy right now otherwise it's gonna be a pretty awkward hike I guess uh thing yeah can I yes yes yes Oh did you hear us yeah of course we're walking together okay I would love to try this all right lightning in a bottle which one day we will use to not steal a thought from somebody I don't know but I'm getting it with permission now yeah exactly 11 wow I think because he said it's fine yeah yeah totally it comes much easier you notice you're like oh yeah it's just kind of like untangling a ball of yarn yeah it just I don't even have to really do anything the roots come out of a tree and a tree runs a ton of time and a ton of time runs a ton of time and a ton of time runs a ton of time grows and like a like a drop of dew rolls off it and reflected in the dew drop you see this memory like a crystal ball yeah okay so I have to get really close up to it yeah it's a tiny little dew drop you're really crammed in there and what memory does billy see um the day I left oh that is that the one from when you left um the forest not my mom so when you and your mom left yes yeah so small ving like child ving 11 or 12 inhuman tween being um maybe it's not that maybe it's something fun it's a student play I like that yeah uh and a ving is very nervous he only has two lines what were you playing my father oh wow I was playing ranger king and everyone thought it made sense but I was like this sucks yeah this is insane this feels really weird this is an over all the adults did not think this through the drama teachers in the back of the room all while the kids are getting ready and she's just like dressed like a hippie drama teacher and she's just like oh yeah this is bad this is bad this was a mistake oh this got away from me but I am committed to it so I'm dressed with like a big fake nose and I have a ponytail you've got flour in your beard or like on your face to make it look like you have a great beard yeah yeah yeah yeah I have like um the hood from a bear play that they did they did um the the dancing bear this is the name of a bar the bear in the chair the bear in the chair oh yeah which is an old tale that they named the bar after it's an old play oh yeah so it's a production that they did the bear in the chair and they just I have like the bear's mask from the kid who played the bear on my face as a beard cool with baby powder in it and I can't stop sneezing and I won't stop sneezing and I'm not gonna stop sneezing and I'm not gonna stop sneezing and I'm not gonna stop sneezing sneezing uh-huh and uh I'm really ving's very nervous because in the play he has to kiss a girl yeah and the whole I imagine the whole thing just this is a very stressful memory like what we're seeing is a look at like the pressures of life in court sure yeah yeah yeah yeah and I think that there would be fun if you guys were there yeah that's yeah the the end the drama teacher comes up to you and she's just like okay ving I know this was maybe the a bad call on my part as your teacher to make you play your dad who is a very difficult person to be around I'm gonna be honest parent teacher conferences have been very tough for me I think it was a good thing is very supportive of all her terrible ideas even at the cost of his own well-being she's like okay all you have to do is go out there take out your sword and say onward rangers for I am your king!

And I maintain this position not through political prowess but through strength of arm alone and this is what I am proud of god damn it this was a terrible idea and I'm playing the girl that ving has to kiss and she is so nervous because she's like uh uh I'm gonna I'm gonna kiss the prince I'm just a lowly lady in waiting who also lives at court I've never I've never kissed anybody in my life except for her dog we've all just kissed my dog so I'm just gonna that was a weird party I'm just she holds her fist up I'm just gonna practice how do you move teacher how do you move your lips when you want to kiss oh my god why did I do this do you open your mouth wide like that or is it like like you're like oh my god I'm gonna kiss you like who like like an owl and the drama teacher leads sits down in front of this nameless child well only nameless because we haven't given her a name her name is her name is wendy wendy she's like wendy okay here's the thing is uh I have I have been going through a divorce I've been making a lot of weird calls okay so this that that was one of them I should not have told you that but here's the thing okay I'm gonna kiss the prince and she's like oh my god I'm gonna kiss the prince okay so this does not have to be like a huge crazy passionate kiss you and ving did you say huge crash passionate crazy kiss you guys are both in front of me it's like just here's what you guys do just give a little peck just like this and she mimes it with her hands just a little peck and then that's it and then we can pretend that this didn't happen pretend this didn't happen we're talking about there's pulls the curtain aside 300 people out there 300 people yeah it's a huge soft seat theater this is the prince people are elves from all around have traveled to see this play yeah okay so I was trying to figure out the culture I think I've kind of sorted it out okay at least thematically I'm thinking like chivalric medieval yeah like lords and ladies knights the rangers are these like led like they're the ones that range far this play is part of a tournament that a bunch of different houses came to so the play is taking place at the tournament not a tournament of no no I was like don't do that to me right now and the ranking of the families for the upcoming year depend on the outcomes of this whole tournament yeah okay so this is starting to make more sense to me so if we see like an elf city I wasn't sure what those look like but we're talking like castles and shit like made out of trees yes like castles that grow into castles and buildings held a lot and maybe different cities are like you mentioned that you can see the different biological regions of the forest so they can they could be like the elm people the uh deciduous people elves you know I mean there could be different regions yeah yeah and like if we see like a throne room in an elven king's castle we're talking like throne room like dude on a throne that's like hello welcome to my court I think the high elves are like that okay I think like the different groupings it's very dependent on your environment yeah kind of game of thrones so you go to the north and they're like welcome to the northern forest I am the king of the north yeah okay cool all right cool and I think like dathaniel might be a bit different uh because he's like a little bit more he might be like a low-born elf that has gained status because he is deadly okay cool I just needed there was some cultural stuff that I was having trouble connecting yeah this makes sense to me now okay so back to the play you guys just have to give each other a quick pick a quick pick look at me look at me look at me a quick pick yeah and then that's it so we we kiss until the sound of the owl and then we stop kissing now just a quick should we practice before we go on teachers I can't be here for this yeah she walks away she runs away I think it's frozen your royal highness uh I mean if you wish it if she curtsies what do you think this is a good we could just wing it I mean I think that makes more sense to be more passionate like you know what if we lose imagine let's save it for the stage let's save for those for the for the play nothing personal no you're right you know we want to bring realness to the stage smash cut to the stage the scene is going to be a little bit more real and I think that's going to be a little bit more real and I think that's going to be a little bit more real and I think that's going to be a little there's a halo of sweat around wendy's mouth she's so nervous the lanterns are hot and she's nervous first kiss she also had put a bunch of lip gloss on before to try and make it just the whole sea of shimmering bottom half of her head and the big battle scene has just happened a kid in a costume like a war deer uh walks off stage dragging behind him somebody that was playing a dead bear a dead bear who's being dragged off and ving's character's holding a spear and wendy approaches and you approach her line and the teacher's like okay just say uh for she doesn't remember the script take out your rapier take out your sword ching by the sword upon which our great houses have been joined I dathaniel of the boreal forest to claim to claim the title of the ranger king the title of the ranger king in the name of my father the ranger king as so too unto the ranger kings as per handed down from father to son for generations okay just kiss dude declare my love for you uh uh!

Thank you sir for your proclamation of love may I bequeath ye you may bequeath me oh okay and she keeps her eyes wide open she's like with pointing her lips at you I'm ready sir staring ahead and then like okay puts the sword away but misses it and just drops it right on the stage and then hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with He turns, lips very glossy.

And all the parents in the audience kind of clap. And there's one parent who's like, whoa! Yeah! Yeah! That's my daughter! That's Wendy's mom. That's my daughter. Wendy! Yeah, fuck yeah! Fuck yeah, Wendy! Ving looks out. His dad's not here. Of course not. There's a seat that says reserved for Ving's dad. It doesn't even say the family. And it's empty. And then we're back to the forest. Billy pulling away from the dew drop. That teacher should not have put that play on.

Yeah, that teacher was super irresponsible, dude. That was fucked up. The political situation at the time was way too raw. Oh, that's interesting. Okay, yeah. There's a lot of courtly stuff. There were a lot of houses, families that were like, this is bullshit. This was a travesty. Yeah, there's a lot of political stuff that happens. Yeah, they're always warring with each other. Like the plays in Game of Thrones. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, and you carry on across the woods, sort of reminded of the weight that existed in your life as a prince. And also the weight that you're probably walking into and what you're trying to tear down. The rest of the day passes, hiking, you know, passing out beef jerky and shit. You carry on for another couple hours across the tree line. And unlike his previous very stealthy moves, you hear… Across the snow, coming towards you. Oh, no. And it is Vic.

Who finally, he pads to a halt in front of you and is like, oh, it's nice of you to arrive finally. I've been here for a long time. You're doing like a workout or something? Yeah, he's just, you know, going for a quick run to stay trimming sharp. As I require. You look really winded, man. It is the wind that… Ruffles through my fur as I sprint across the tundra. That is all. Okay. Well, sorry we're late then. I forgive you. It's not a problem. Let's go meet your mean father. Mean father?

Let us go meet your mean daddy. Daddy no good. And night has fallen. The clouds have passed over the moon and stars. The deep dark depths of the great forest lie before you. As you arrive at the cleft in the trees that has marked the winter walk for so many years. What do we see as the party waits for Dathaniel? What kind of vibe have we got here? Ooh, I think that there are owls.

I mean, I don't think there's that many animals in the vicinity, but I think because it's so quiet and still, you can hear it from like miles around. You hear like owls who are like, oh, I'm going to go to the forest. You hear owls hooting. Mm-hmm. Just like whatever paws are patting the ground and the leaves. Yeah. Scurrying night creatures. Mm-hmm. Yeah, kind of this place more than anything feels like a focal point for the spirits of the forest. Mm-hmm.

Like the wind sounds like more alive than usual. Yeah. Ooh, yeah. There's something about the fact that this is a transition point and it's one that this society has used so many times. Like that the wind is constantly switching directions, like a breath almost. Oh. Oh, yeah. So cool. Yeah. And as you're contemplating this, you realize that two trees away, a figure leans against the trunk, kind of carving at what looks like a small piece of fruit, like an apple or something. Who's that?

Oh, it's my dad. Isn't it? He made it. Pops the apple into his mouth and you brought kind of gestures. They have names. Do you remember them? Yeah. Yeah. Tuck, Billy, Victor. Do you understand what you've signed up for? He says to you two. Yes, sir. Billy's doing the mayor voice. I am the mayor. I know of which I walk into. I mean, I know what I've signed up for. I mean, I, yes. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Your Highness, I do a voice when I'm nervous. I'm trying not to do it. And Tuck picks Billy up and he puts him like on his shoulder just so he feels taller than Nathaniel at the very least. Yeah. And Tuck's like, yeah, we know what we're in for. We're here to save Ving. And he looks back at Ving. These are the people you brought to topple the court. These are the only people I want by my side. And he nods and cuts his throat.

And he looks back at Ving. And he looks back at Ving. And he looks back at Ving. And he looks back at Ving. And he looks back at Ving. And he looks back at Ving. And he looks back at Ving. And he looks back at Ving. These are the people you brought to topple the court. These are the only people I want by my side. And he nods and cuts another slice off his apple. What about the wizard? Burrell? Yeah. I've been traveling with a wizard. What about him? Can you trust him? More than I can trust you.

Alright. So, what's your plan? All in due time. First thing we need to consider is that according to the ancient laws and covenants, the three of you cannot trespass in these woods. But if I were to take you in as prisoners, and he reaches into his pack and throws a length of rope to you, throws a length of rope to Billy, and a length of rope to Tuck. So you're gonna take us into who? The court? Take you to my court. And then what do you do? What do you want us to do?

Then we bring down the court of the woods. How do we know this isn't a trap for us? You think if I was gonna trap you, I would just throw a piece of rope at you? That would be my whole plan? That's pretty easy. Easiest way. The U3, from what I understand, are capable, and I have to admit, pretty dangerous. But the only way that I can get you where you need to be to do what I need you to do, what I need you to do, is as prisoners.

Look, dude, I understand that you're like ranger guy or whatever, and you have a plan, but I don't want to go into this thing not knowing the whole thing. Yeah. I'm willing to go in as a prisoner, but I need to know what your endgame is here. I'm getting huge ranger danger vibes here. And he sits down on like a stump. There's a sickness at the heart of the forest.

The knowledge trees that sit, at the center of elven culture and dictate our laws and ways have been poisoned over time by the machinations of the ambitious, greedy, and foolhardy. And at the center of the forest is the great tree, which wilts and dies as we speak. And as it dies, we die. He nods. Your mother, Ileana, saw this sickness coming. There was nothing. There was nothing she could do about it. The court wouldn't let her.

And as the spirit walker, now, you are the only living entity that has a hope of understanding the sickness of the trees and healing it. And to get you and Tuck and Billy to that great tree, we need to get you into the forest. And the only way that that will be accepted is as my prisoner. So cool. So, and he kind of nods to the ropes in your hands. We look at each other. I'm in. You in? Yeah, I'll do it. Tuck says, and then he hog ties himself. Yeah. Do what? How?

Do whatever you want to me, Nathaniel. Yeah, Billy rolls himself up in the rope like a carpet. All right, I'm going to need someone to tie me off. Bing pulls out the ball gig that he already had on him. Perfect. All right. Well, then I will see you in the forest. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Dragging my own prisoners into my court like a dog walker. Sorry, what? That's so insulting. My talon will do this for me.

And out of the trees, four figures just melt out of the shadows. Whoa, okay. Whoa. Hey there. Holy fuck. Hey fellas. Hi, I'm Bing. Four elves. One large burly with like a thick beard and like a brace of hatchets on his chest. Cool. An older one with a shaved head and like a big scar across his nose. Wow. Sorry, we're all just like, nice warriors. That one's pretty hot. Yeah. One young, fresh looking, you know, like it looks like the glow of youth on his skin and a long bow.

And then the last with a massive cat next to her takes her hood down. And Bing, you see for the first time that girl from that place so long ago, Wendy. Whoa. Wendy? Hi, Bing. She walks up to you. It's been a long time. You lean forward with like, just imperceptibly, just a little bit with the memory in your head. Yeah, just like, is this going to happen? Yeah. She, she goes to like, cup the back of your head. Oh my God. She reaches forward. No, no, no, no, no, no.

There's no way this is happening. Her hand brushes your cheek and reaches around to the back of your neck. Oh man. And she slams a rag into your mouth and pulls a cloth sack over your head. And all is darkness. And Bing's leaning. Yeah. His eyes are like fluttering closed. Yeah. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. Thank you for joining us. My name is Sean O'Hara. I've been your game master. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz. So long, everybody.

Playing Bing, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care, guys. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, friends. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. You can find all of Aaron's original music at aaronreed.bandcamp.com and all of the music that Aaron's composed for the show, written with lyrics by Abdul and myself at soundcloud.com. And this show wouldn't be possible without our supporters around the world.

If you would like to support the show, and get access to bonus content like a whole new bonus campaign set in the High Spear Mall, art, lore, writing, merchandise, postcards, and a bunch of cool stuff, check us out at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. You can also find us online at speltlore most places. And most of all, thank you to you for listening. We'll see you next time.

And so ends the tale of Adventures 3 Who tried their best They tried their best They can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Wacky music We will not leave you without a resolution Whilst you commute Or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore It's a struggle