Episode 4 – The Everwood

Spoutlore is made possible by contributions from our listeners. If you'd like to support us, go to patreon.com slash spoutlore. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight.

Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might. Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. This night of druid partying on the beach, they attended a lecture slash presentation slash continental breakfast. It was mostly a continental breakfast. Hosted by their dear friend and wizard, Perel.

To do what he described as restating the stakes. Using a book that unfolded into a 3D and dynamic portrait of the planet. They went through the last couple months of adventures. Restating all of the currently open threads and where those threads were moving. While investigating the book itself and the lands they have not yet become familiar with. Billy discovered curled, blackened and sticky pages in the book. Yeah, last time Billy found sticky pages in a book. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know the jerk. Love and Luss, page 69. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Fill in the punchline yourselves. Well, guys, come on. This is how I do comedy from now on. Let's have a little fucking decorum here. Instead of just making the audience do their own punchlines. No, these are ours. They're just our… We've downloaded them into our audience's head.

The book then began to fill with white fibrous strands reminiscent of spider webs before Morris tossed the book into the fire. Dathaniel arrived during the presentation to explain that he had a memory come to him unbidden of the Gibbous Man's intentions. And while he couldn't be sure of his exact plan, he was certain that the Gibbous Man needed the war in the southern principalities to succeed.

And if you wanted to, as it were, spit in the face of the Gibbous Man, stopping the princeps of the firefields would be a good place to start. During this recollection of the Gibbous Man's events, he was overtaken momentarily with the aspect of the Gibbous Man, presenting a black eye and a blue eye, before regaining control but being furious with himself for having let it slip for even a moment. Ving and his father went quote-unquote outside to the baseball diamond within the fanny pack.

A real Field of Dreams and a Field of Dreams style. We basically played catch with our memories. The chamberlain ring was used to commune with the whispers of Dathaniel's own mind. Ving, upon failing that role, entered Dathaniel's mind, or so he thought, and was faced with the aspect of his father, controlled by the Gibbous Man, who let Ving know he's in his head. You fell for his trick, you'll fall for another one. He's got ya. The dad's got me? The Gibbous Man's got ya.

God, there he goes again! He's tricking ya, tricking ya right now. After the vision, Dathaniel decided he couldn't stay here. He wasn't safe. So he packed up his shit, and he left. And after some let's say awkward comforting of Ving, Morris and Perel asked the party, what's going on? What are we doing? And then had a sudden flash of genius that if the firefields are invading the High Spear and the Gibbous Man is like hell yeah, they might be going for the High Spear itself.

A remnant wizard tower from the Golden Age, that projects a magical translation field over the planet, allowing everyone to communicate. The party then realized that they've all been speaking different languages to each other this whole time. And resolved to drop Morris and Perel off at the High Spear to attempt to bend its power to their own devices. And that idea led to another idea. To fuck each other right then and there. Oh yeah. Because they're geniuses.

They get so hot and heavy because how smart they are. Exactly. And part two was the party will go to Black Glass and attempt to sign on as mercenaries with the war effort and sow their own discord and gather their own information. That is where we find our heroes now. So we're packing up to leave? Yeah, I guess. Do we just see you on somebody's riding Gale's back? I think that's pretty, yeah, I think that'd be funny. Unless there's anything else that anyone wants to do in Hibernia?

I think Morris and Perel were so horned up on their idea. We all wanted to get out. That we all wanted to get out of the fanny pack for a bit because there was so much crashing all over the place. There were so many rooms and they were using so many of them. It was the thing where they were kissing and smashing into things and every time we'd go into a different room they would crash through the paper wall. They're in the Gossip Girls tunnels. Yes. Guys, don't fuck in the tunnels.

The tunnels are for everybody. They're not soundproof at all. No. That's the point. Yeah, they're created to transmit sound. Who made these to look in? They keep busting through. Every time we would go to a different room they'd bust through the paint. Flesh come through the eyes of a painting. Just like butt cheeks. Butt cheeks coming out of the eyes of a painting. Is that? Oh my lord. Is that painting winking at me? It was a thing where we were like we gotta get Billy out of here right now.

So we cut to the three of you on Gail's back going just like Oh god. Yeah, we look harrowed. Oh yeah. Not yucking their yum. We're just yucking that we know them to. We're yucking our. Yucking their bum. Yeah, thank you. You're yucking them specifically. That's fine. Yeah. Yeah, it's not okay to just fuck in front of your guests. No. Okay, so was there? Anything that you that anyone wanted to do on Hibernia before we left? No, no, I don't think so. I also think that we've overstayed our welcome.

Yeah, that's what the vibe you get is like the young druids that were partying with you were like bye, but then the older druids have their arms crossed and they're like get the fuck out of here. I stole their smoked fish. You know how they would have him out on like the the forks on the sticks. Yeah, I would take a whole thing. Yeah, pretty. Amazing. Okay, then yeah, we see Gail take off into the sky directly engulfed in the gray.

We see angry druids glaring after you casting ancient signs with their hands of banishment and fucking off back. Billy's got like a bunch of fish on a stick. Yeah, sorry, but not sorry enough to give the fish back. Okay, so then we're going to High Spear. Yes, that's the plan. Yeah, do we perilous wilds to see what we see on the way? Absolutely. Okay, I like that. We bust out of the top of the grain. It's like we went to a matinee. We're like, oh my God. Jeez, it's so bright up here.

Just instantly sunburned. Yeah. Oh, we didn't put cream on you. My creams are in the wall. He's dead. Creams in the wall. Blah, blah, blah. There's creams in the wall for sure. Okay, as with perilous wild, as we all know, there are three moves. Manage provisions, navigate, and scout ahead. Who's doing what? I could do provisions because I have the fish stick. Right, that makes sense. I'll scout ahead because I have light sight and we're into the bright of the day. Perfect.

And then what was the other one? Oh, navigate. 2d6 plus intelligence. Navigate. So I'm up front telling Gail where to go, I guess, because I drew the short straw, which means I have to sit at the front where she can talk to me. You're like, over a shoulder. Okay. I got 10. I got 5. I got 7. Okay, so. Sorry, I forgot to roll fairy child. Oh, yeah. There's a new day. Yes, you can. 9. Nice. So that means I get 3 holds. 3 holds.

Okay, and from that, I want to use a fairy child to turn a failed roll into a 7 to 9. You sneaky fuck. Yes, I am. I did not eat all the fish. Billy did eat all the fish, but then he uses one of three potential boons to make them rematerialize. Yeah. Okay, so on a 7 to 9, the party consumes the expected amount of rations. Ving, of course, does not eat or just eats whatever. Tuck probably eats a lot. Yeah. Billy eats a lot.

Ving's doing that thing where he's getting food from the sunlight on his butthole. On the back of Gail. What? You know what I'm saying? The people were doing. You sun your butthole? Yeah, you feed your soul through your butthole. The weird, like, Instagrammers. Yeah. You put your butt to the sun. He's downward dogging on the back of a bird. I, I, that's people are doing this? Oh, yeah. The world sucks. I know.

Also, this is an opportunity to use Billy's changeling move, which we forgot the four seasons. Is Billy going to potentially undergo? Nope. No seasonal change? Not yet. Now is not the time. So he remains in his spring. And as you remain in your spring form, you have a benefit from that. What is your spring form? Right. You may create a convincing illusion without spending a hold. And okay, so what did Ving get for Scout Ahead? Twelve. Twelve. So on a ten plus, choose two from the list below.

You get the drop on whatever lies ahead. You discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain, such as a shortcut shelter or tactical advantage. You make a capital D discovery or note a sign of a capital D danger. I like a discovery. Okay. And then I get a drop on whatever's ahead. Perfect. Because we're coming into war zone. And navigate. I got seven. So the GM chooses one. I'm from the list below, but I'll let you choose because it's usually more fun. Oh, yeah.

You happen on a capital D discovery missed by the Scout. The going is slow or you wander off course or you encounter a capital D danger. Well, only one of those is not bad. One of those is not bad. That's what the GM's supposed to choose, I realize. So yeah, you choose. Okay. Well, let's go ahead and roll this discovery first and see what happens here. Thank you so much for giving me back the power in that scene. I appreciate that. That was a rare handoff. So we leave the gray. We pull out.

We fly. We fly up above and we see the Sea of Graves and the storm because we've talked about how the storm is sort of spread. Yeah. So you see off in the distance the Sea of Graves, the pillars rising out of the ocean, marching off into the distance, the crackling storm that has engulfed these pillars for millennia, some say. And that storm sort of arcs out above the sky and seems to spread across the land.

A surprising amount of the sky around you is storms and Gail for as much as she's like, okay, so it was this play that I saw. It was about a boss who was really mean and it was about a new assistant who was trying to get into the boss's world. You know, what was it called? Is it the Devil Wears Prada? I don't think it's that. Fuck Gail. Tuck, you can see like as she's saying this, you see her eyes on the side of her massive head are like locked. On the storm. Yeah. Paying very close attention.

She's like navigating between like it's like a maze almost. That's exactly what it is. Yeah. She starts navigating between the worst parts of the storm using what appears to be some sort of Thunderbird road network. That makes sense. Where she's taking like wind currents that are passing between the most dangerous parts of the storm. Ion streams. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, I'm not gonna be able to do this forever, but we're safe for now. I hope.

I like the idea that she does her like stream of consciousness like, what is this thing? To kind of like just keep herself calm. Yeah. Yeah, totally. So texture is like answering her questions because he can tell that she's kind of stressed. Yeah. And you know when you faced Thronebreaker for the first time and like parts of the storm looked like they were reaching out like when we were above yesterday? Yes. Yeah. Ving, because you chose you get the drop on whatever lies ahead.

You see in this tunnel network, you're like looking at the storm trying to perceive the spirits and the dangers in this place. You feel a particularly strong sense of maliciousness ahead and you see like like a shark cresting a wave. You see like part of a cloud up ahead ripple and royal and then pull back into itself. Whoa. Throne breakers here.

It does not appear to be Thronebreaker But there's another bird But there's something Discern realities Yeah discern realities Two sticks plus wisdom Do it Nine Oh Eight I'm waving the fog around With my fish stick Try and move the clouds you know Seven Okay so that makes it a ten Three questions off the discern realities list What here is not what it appears to be Okay so you See with your elf eyes The ripple in the clouds again And you think Oh it's gotta be It must be a bird But then you realize that it's not Something moving in the clouds It is the cloud itself What happened here recently?

With the spreading of the storm And the growing of its strength You do see wings And a back and a head Start cresting the cloud And pulling away It almost looks like a physical form Made of the storm cloud Oh There's another spirit walker Huh? Is that what it is? You guys are jumping to crazy conclusions This is the sort of stuff the Ving makes though For real Smoke monsters It's an animal made out of the pure elements Who really is in control here?

Okay so you see this figure resolve Into a powerful facsimile Of a thunderbird Made of storm clouds As its body Like extricates Itself from the cloud Completely You see like talons Of crackling electricity A beak of like Also electricity I realize It should be the same material For the hard parts Yeah It could be hail Hail Yeah Yeah For the eyes Yeah Hail Oh hailstone eyes Yeah Like Uh Fucking Snow Snow For the beak God just turned on me God just turned on me God just turned on me God just turned on me God just turned on me God just turned on me God just turned on me I turned into a 14 year old It's got fucking snow beak But then in the center of It's cloud head Where the bezoar would be Is like Roiling black cloud Whoa Obsidian cloud Oh my god This tuck says that And you're reminded of the vision you had Of Thronebreaker And his obsidian bezoar Oh This seems to be an extension Of his will would be your guess Oh my gosh What if Thronebreaker is a spirit walker too But for the gibbous man What?

Oh nevermind I love that It's an interesting idea That's insane So curious Not something that you would be able to confirm now I withdraw I didn't get enough positive reinforcement I withdraw my idea Tuck rips a bunch of pages out of a notebook he was writing And he throws it up He needs 100% so on board Yeah I'm not feeling supported in this relationship right now No that's a good idea I just can't confirm or deny things That you just can't confirm or deny things that you just can't confirm I'm not sure what I'm going to come up with Until the story reveals them What should I be on the lookout for?

More of them Whoa Multiple Ooh That was a cool line You had that in the can Okay I am looking out for them Yeah so you do Since you have the jump on them Oh yeah You have a moment to decide what you're going to do At this point you are basically just starting to travel over the land Go lower I don't think we should go through this Okay Go below Oh it's Throatbreaker His perceptions and influence travel through the storm now Did I not tell you that?

No No No Alright hold on She pulls her wings in And sharply dives through the clouds Oh the g-force on it is crazy The gale force The gale force That's sick And you grip on hard as she starts just pelting through the clouds That's what she says She says grip on hard Hold on hard Hold on hard Hold on hard Hold me Tuck Hold me I am Gale Hold me tight I am With your thighs And boom she comes out of the bottom of this cloud And you see the vast expanse of the great forest beneath you You see you know Oh there's Heartwood City And you just turn away Oh boy Yeah we hear swords clanging We're like everything is fine there Not a problem Boom You hear Taxes Nice And you look up and you see You see the land You see like the entirety of The principalities That aren't like covered in storm And you look up and you see Falling through the cloud Removing itself from it A large elemental Thunderbird It is pursuing you or attempting to Oh I could roll I could create a convincing illusion Oh you could Fight this one Yes That's fun Can I do that?

Yeah what illusion are you attempting to create? I'm going to create another thunderbird Another Gale To confuse the other one Right That's what I'll do Split off and be like Which one are you chasing?

Uh huh So you don't have to roll Oh I just do it And you don't have to spend a point Right because you're in your spring form Fuck yeah Yeah so how does this look Because now it's basically like It pulls up a little short And it's flapping its huge hurricane wings Uh huh And it's looking back and forth Between the two birds Uh huh Uh huh And it's covered in the two groups of people Yeah How do you utilize this illusion to escape?

So uh I think the illusion's pretty good Yeah it's convincing enough It's got the three of us on the back Yeah And fake Ving's pointing his asshole at him Yeah fake Billy's putting the ass Or So sorry Billy Sorry Language Billy Yeah Fake Ving is Is Shining his booty hole Uh huh And fake Billy is waving his fish stick At the bird as if to like antagonize him Uh huh Yeah I think it's like pretty convincing It's pretty convincing Fake Tuck looks angry at Gale Yeah Could I elemental mastery To create a fog around us To shield us Yeah basically like To hide us And create a Hide us in the mist of the mountain Yeah And then the fake one flies out of it Yeah Yeah to do like you know Car chases where like You're driving the same car And you drive under an overpass Yes And then they follow the wrong car Yeah 100% like that 2d6 plus constitution Nine Nine Oh I'll help How does Tuck help?

Gale is going so fucking fast Like it's quite unstable So he's just holding Ving and Billy So that they don't have to focus on holding on tight Oh yeah nice He's like a cockpit Yeah he's being the seatbelt Nice Yeah But because I'm doing this Ving can focus even harder Excellent Okay Eight Okay That makes it a ten Choose two from the list below The effect you desire comes to pass Avoid paying nature's price Retain control I will Avoid paying Nature's price And the effect you desire comes to pass Okay How do you like move the fog around you?

Yeah so that's that thing We're just like kind of on one gale And then shift shimmer apart into two gales Sick Yeah it's like a mirror Yeah a mirror and it's like copying us Uh huh And we dive down in between two big mountains And there's a big valley of mist Gale punches down Drop down into a cloud We stop Air brakes The illusionary one keeps going Yeah And then we As an aspect of a cloud Gently mist falls down Cascades down the mountain Perfect Yeah beautiful And uh The illusionary bird With the illusionary three On the back Takes off Peels away And you hear Rather than see The crackling storm elemental thunderbird Peel off and follow it And you are surrounded by clouds and mist You see Coming out of the clouds like Rocky mountainsides Trees in valleys We're like drenched in In water Because Oh from the mist and clouds Yeah You're so wet And after a while As you do not retain control You're flying for a while And you're like squinting at all the water That's just like pelting you in the face Gale's like Huh I don't know Where we are What?

Gale what do you mean?

I you know I'm just surrounded by mist And I was trying to like Take some dekes and turns You know Throw them off And then I threw myself Off I don't want to freak anybody out But I think We're lost Can I Spout Lore Or something about like the area we're in Since Like this is around the region Billy's from Yeah totally Yeah I think Gale would be like Alright how about we just Let's just And she starts going a little bit lower Okay And she like Fwoaf Fwoaf Alights on a Almost a miniature forest That's on like a plateau You can see rocks and trees But you're surrounded by mist It's like the mountain trees You know Yeah!

Let's see Spout Lore Using Intelligence Which I have None So eight Okay Not bad So something interesting But not useful About the region that you're in Billy recognizes this as A region Yeah near the Everwood Valley Huh I used to play around here Um Why don't This is close to where Billy's from Why don't you tell me about this region Oh wow I tell you?

Yeah This is outside of the Everwood Valley We're on the other side of the river Like The village is on one side In the center And then There's like The river And we're on the outside On the side of the mountain This is around the area Where the witch lives Oh Oh cool Yeah Oh so we're like close to the Everwood Valley Yes Like this is the witch that lives near Lone Tree Like not Mother Never was No not Mother Never was It's just like a It's just like a witch Who lives Yeah She doesn't do that much Stuff She's She's a crazy lady That lives in the woods Yeah She's like I hate the halflings She's like The evil wizard from the Smurfs Like she's just like She's Gargamel These fucking halflings Yeah Billy this is where you're from?

Yeah Like if you can I mean if The fog wasn't all surrounding us You could see The village from across the river Oh We're that close Tuck is like Okay So Given that The sky Is dangerous Could we maybe use The Sunwise And the And the Wittershins To like Get closer to High Spirit Like use the riverways That's a cool idea I like that That is an interesting idea Gale is like Oh he Yeah that actually Makes a lot of sense Traveling with me Is actually probably A pretty bad idea Considering your enemy Is the god of the sky Huh Also I should be fighting Oh yeah There's a war And my very close friend Cloudpiercer Is in constant danger And I think like Gale is pretty shaken By the elemental birds That chased you And is like I'm really worried Because if something Happens to me And she salutes With her big wing It is in service To the cause But if you three Something happens to you While you're On my back That's it And it's Literally On me Yeah That is a lot of pressure Gale That's it The podcast Is over Finally We're free Jess has been trying To get out of this For seven years She's like I'm free I'm free What if we create A thunderbird That takes us In the middle of a war Then we'll definitely die Finally What we cut out of the podcast Every episode Is Jessica going like And Billy jumps into the lake And Billy rolls Into the fireplace Billy eats the lava What are you doing?

I think this is a great idea Actually cause The sky has proven itself To be unsafe It's unsafe It's safer And plus like We don't want to be noticed By anyone Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah The halflings They would obviously Notice Gale Yeah They would notice Gale And I mean We can assume That the majority Of the halflings Are probably not like Fuck yeah Evil So like Maybe they would Shelter us They could potentially Help you Yeah Maybe Okay Interesting Okay We're back to Overland Adventure Boys Because of course The sky is a threat Yeah And the goal right now Is to get Morris and Perel To High Spirit Right?

Yeah That's where we're targeting Yeah And we know that We're not on as tight A timeline as we thought In terms of the world ending Yeah Because the gibbous man Is like well I have to fucking wait too For the war to finish Or whatever Yeah Yeah Because he is Maybe a bit more Hands tied Yeah Than we initially thought Yes Yeah He's letting things He starts things Or he stirs the pot And lets it Settle Totally Cool Cool It's like Gale You're right You can't come with us anymore I'm so sorry Don't worry And she reaches up a wing And runs it down your face What?

Tuck sneezes Tuck's been allergic To birds this whole time You guys His eyes are so red So puffy He's just That's why he got A partial success On the navigate Because he can barely see Like he's like It's just the fog right?

But it's just His eyes are shut You look And it's swollen shut Like he needs An ATS to be Girl I love being with you But I'd love to see you go I'd love to be able To see you go Just get away from me She yeah And she lets you all down You know Slide down off Gale's back Thank you for your service Thank you Hold up Oh sorry Oh no What?

She sees you moving the fish around I was gonna offer this to you But I couldn't Pause You deserve it Gale I need my strength For the flight back To the war front You do Before she takes off Ving wants to give her His silver gauntlets That he's been hanging on to Forever Here I want to put this on you Put these on you Put them around her Talon One of these is for you And one of them's for Cloudpiercer I will do my best Those are the ones That are made of the moon steel Maybe I should hang on to those Every time we leave You're like I will give my most prized possession Yeah I've been carrying this around For seven seasons And it now belongs to you It's from the temple of the moon goddess You do the thing where Like when the adult child Comes and visits their mom The mom is like Okay And while you're here Like I'm gonna send you back With like another box of your stuff Yeah exactly I don't wanna hold onto Your memories anymore So yeah you clasp these Arm guards around her Her talons Shiny These will be a boon In the fight to come I assume I don't actually know what they are But they're Pretty sick They're from the temple of the moon goddess They're lunar steel Gale I know not what you are talking about When I say they're lunar steel Gale I'm looking at Ving angrily They're lunar steel Gale I forgot I actually forgot They're literally Nothing like that exists in the world Yeah They are one of a kind And priceless Gale And they are impenetrable Which is why I have given you One of those things Ving says And he takes one back He ungives Like totally ungrateful Just takes it right back off That's for you and Cloud Piercer to share Switch back and forth Take turns evenings and weekends I don't care how you split it up And she goes Wow okay One of these Cool She rolls her eyes Alright Well I guess I'll go back To risking my life Like I did to get you here And to get you to Alright whatever We're like Gale It was great It was great to see you again As ever I wish you nothing but luck And success on your journey And you Thank you That's what I was waiting for And now I must away Goodbye Gale Goodbye And she Boom And you're all knocked to the I fall off the cliff It's a short clip Jessica you can't keep killing Billy I love it though I love killing Billy The sonic boom from her wing beats Sends her high off into the sky And as she flies away The camera sees her Majestically batting into the sky As tuck Billy and Ving are hanging off the edge of the cliff Cliffhanger style Waving goodbye Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Alright so here we are In a valley somewhere In a mountain valley on a plateau What do you do?

Oh we're in a new area I would like to use Wild Wanderer Yes Which I believe allows you to ask a question of yourself About the region that you're in Uh okay How do we get to What's the best way to the Wittershins from here?

So the Wittershins You would know Like you consult sort of internally The druidic knowledge that courses through your veins now And you recall The tree's memory of a time before the Wittershins Before the two rivers were knit into one ever flowing As the courses of those rivers changed They left riverbeds behind The rivers that were in the riverbeds That became the Wittershins existed for millennia So this region is sort of crisscrossed With natural paths that lead to The Everwood Valley Dry creek beds Exactly yeah And if you know the signs You can find those creek beds quite easily Great Maybe in especially in this region There's like a particular plant that Flourishes in the sort of Healthy areas that once were the creek beds But what is it?

I do like Skunk cabbage Except the leaves have like that stripe That a skunk has on them Oh yeah We've done skunk cabbages That were alive We've done cabbage skunks Yeah but these are skunk cabbages Yeah yeah yeah Though cabbage skunks do make their homes In skunk cabbage beds They're not terribly dangerous No No they're just stinky Yeah Whereas like these skunk cabbages The food just looks like a skunk tail On the leaves But it is not stinky It is the opposite of stinky It smells It smells good Smells good Like roasted cabbage Yeah Okay So then this sounds like a perilous journey And it sounds like Billy is navigating With his nose Yeah Sweet Sure Follow your nose I'll scout ahead Okay I'm cutting through the marsh with the axe Yeah Nine Okay plus wisdom for scout ahead Eight And Provisions is plus wisdom Wisdom yeah Ten So ten you choose one from the list below For manage provisions Careful manager Reduces the amount of rations consumed Or the party consumes The expected amount And the food is excellent Describe it And everyone who licks their lips Takes plus one forward Nice It's roasted cabbage Yes All the way down Delicious Bull rushed hearts too Young shoots Yum Frog legs Whoa Sorry frogs Sorry Perel I like the idea that after all this time It's like You don't even open the fanny pack You just have Like a campfire Like the old days And just like make dinner outside Yeah Yeah Ving actually learned from Mears Which is cute Yeah Beautiful So yeah I imagine that That Billy sort of helps Everybody get down to Where this creek bed is Before you continue on your way And then you make camp Have a nice little meal So what You say that Skunk cabbage smells good What does it smell like to Billy?

Yeah it smells like roasted Cauliflower roasted cabbage It's like borscht This whole Yeah basically yeah It smells like soup It just smells like soup It just smells like soup It smells so good and crispy Yeah And sweet Yep And so Scout ahead on a seven to nine You choose one from below You get the drop on whatever lies ahead Discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain Make a discovery Or notice sign of a danger Make a discovery Okay Yes And for Billy Oh this is the GM chooses one from the list below Happen on a discovery The going is slow Or you wander off course As Ving Like okay We've had a long day Of riding on this bird And We're drenched to the bone You're drenched to the bone It's still raining kind of Yeah Yeah You make camp next to Like there's a mountain Like a kilometer away Like the side of a mountain But in there is like a Small Pond lake That is gathered from different water sources And there are reeds And water Grasses Sort of wringing it And who's Who's wandering the pond In this like restful moment I can wander And as you are like looking You're like oh man I thought we were really gonna get to High Spear I thought this was gonna be I thought I was gonna be in a mall Today And now I'm here You are looking at like These big huge water rushes That are coming up out of the Out of the lake And as you get close You see that like One of them is Moving Yeah Like a clump of rushes Is moving around Okay And as you As you get You like lean in You see a big long Beak About A Three feet Like a three foot long Beak That initially looked like a rush Poke up And the rushes Move aside And form into like The wings of a heron That is about as tall as you Oh fuck But looks to be a collection of rushes And it starts to like Lower its leg that it had hidden up in its body And starts stepping out of the lake towards you And then Tuck He's transfixed by it And then Tuck He's transfixed by it Where he's just like He raises a hand To be like Hello Are you friendly?

That's reasonable Yeah Cause he like Tuck's bushcraft is not good Like He's It's like Billy and Ving Are like the outdoorsy types And like Tuck Well more Ving And Billy's more kind of like Inside of a drawer Yeah like the backyard kid Yeah But like Tuck has like learned That his instinct To just kill whatever it is Usually leaves him To like more problems So he's like doing what Ving told him to do When like wild animals approach Which is to approach them with openness So he goes I am quite insecure sometimes Hello Sometimes when people don't Immediately like my ideas I just throw them away I see it He says that He says I see it as a personal attack Okay I have a quick question Ving's new movie They're targeting me when they say When they don't immediately laugh hysterically It's a betrayal That's every step you take backwards Yeah He goes When Jessica doesn't laugh into the mic It's because she's trying to convince the audience That I am bad Finally Oh my god there it is Just a crazy person Yeah Imagine this is when I reveal That I'm a psychopath Here's a question I have Ving's new move World's Echo I have an answer It says in your presence If I am here then yes Okay I feel like I can see him across the little pond They're still like in So close Yeah So are you like calling out to Ving?

Like I feel like Ving needs to be like Alright everybody can talk to this thing Instead of it just being able to talk you know Okay yeah I'm like Ving help me Roll a defy danger charisma To not get this thing to immediately attack you Tuck goes help me Ving there's a thing here Eight So Ving you hear You hear Tuck calling And through the like waning light You see him standing With his arms up And a large bird Seemingly made of rushes and water grass Approaching him from the side of the pond Okay I want to get over there Okay yeah you can run around the lake pretty easily Okay And the bird is there It is about Six and a half Seven feet tall Be open Be open Tuck What did I tell you?

Alright I have a hard time dealing with High emotion scenes So I just make dick jokes instead And the bird Now in Ving's presence Kind of tilts its Weird green Gray head Are you a fish? We are not fish We are friends of the feather And it tilts its head the other way And goes that's what a fish would say Cause it doesn't want to get eaten And Tuck goes Would a fish do this?

I can't wait to see what this is Yeah he takes a deep breath Of air That is actually Pretty smart Slowly covers his heels And his hands Suddenly he's like I'm not a fish I'm not a fish I'm not a fish I'm not a fish I'm not a fish I'm not a fish I'm not a fish I'm not a fish I'm not a fish I'm not a fish I'm not a fish I'm not a fish I'm not a fish Yeah Tuck leans over And puts an arm around Ving To like Obscure his neck Just two normal guys Yeah let's breathe Into each other's mouths To show how much we love air That's what fish do Alright Defy danger charisma Okay Seven Okay just barely Yeah I think just as Ving Starts to cover his neck The bird sees the gills Well if you're not a fish You're not a fish Why is your friend a fish?

Why would a non-fish be hanging out with a fish? Oh, Billy hears squawking. And he like comes over. What's going on? A fish. I'm not a fish. Oh, wait, I can't hear him. No, you can hear him. Now that you get here, yeah. Scram. And it extends its wings and rustles its brushes. You don't scare me. Now there's three of you and it's kind of looking to the three of you. There are no fish here. You have to go to the river for that. You know it. Defy danger charisma. Okay. Eleven. Oh, okay.

That's the only good roll that's happened. Yeah, this is it. Yeah. Finally. It's just you're doing the hand waving to a broom. And I look at you guys. I'm like, usually if you have a broom, you want to keep a broom on you when you come out here because I don't like all that stuff. Billy knows how to deal with these animals. Because he gets chased away with so many brooms. Actually, Billy knows how to deal with these animals. Billy, what is this animal? It's a swamp. It's a swamp heron.

They can't fly. Okay. They can't fly. I like it. So when you start doing the brush light or the broom like movements in its face, it's like, I hate all that stuff. Yeah, I know it. I know you can't fly away. And it like hops out of the river and kind of does like a ostrich run a little bit across. Go. Okay. All right. Fine. But I'll be back, fish. We are not fish. I'll be back. We are all. Boys. Human boys. I'll be back. And it gets out of Ving's world's echo region. You just hear. I'll be back.

And it runs off into the mist. Wow. Thanks, Billy. If you don't have a broom, you can offer them granolas. If you don't have granola, I think you just have to insult him at that point. They're really insecure about not being able to fly. Oh. That's fucking. That's fucking hilarious. They're really top heavy, too. So you can always use the end of the broom to knock them over. We look into the pond and there's a few of them that are just on their sides. Just kicking their legs.

Tech goes, nature in our world is stupid. Billy. Uh-huh. You know this area, right? I mean, I know it okay. Do you know where? Because we're going to try and ride down the Sunwise in the winter. What direction is that? We're not on the river, are we? No, I'd say you're a bit away. Yeah, we're still in the kind of like the swampy area. He like licks his finger, puts in the air. I think the river goes that way. Yep. And you're going east. We're going east.

And I think the navigate thing that I'm going to choose is the going is slow. Like, I think it's a lot of like, all right, looking for the riverbed. And also me like looking at. Grubs. Yeah. And snacks. Billy is navigating. So it is predictably slow. Yeah. Oh, it's over this way. And then he just is eating berries off a bush. Yeah. I found some salmon berries. We are in the terrible parental situation where our child now has control over our time. I am abusing it. For sure. Let this happen.

It's his land. We don't know it here. Exactly. You got to respect me now. Billy, we always respect you. You don't respect me. It was bath time. Yes, we do. That's why we force you to have a bath. No, it is against our ways. It's a health thing. You have to bathe. I lived for so long without a bath and I turned out just fine. You had thrush when we met. I don't know what that is. And the going is slow. So I think that means that.

As you're walking down these riverbeds and waiting for Billy to finish eating salmon berries and waiting for Billy to stop eating the berries that are not edible. And then waiting for Billy to have diarrhea because he ate an inedible berry. And he's like, I have to go to my favorite diarrhea spot. You have to wait here. Only one type of grass. So take care of this. I also, there's like two parents arguing over how they walk the dog. You don't have to let them stop and sniff every spot.

No, he has to be able to do it. He has to be able to do it. He has to be able to do it. He has to be able to do it. He has to be able to do it. He has to be able to do it. He has to be able to do what he wants. Every once in a while, you just nudge Billy with your foot. He doesn't really notice. Keep going. Keep moving. I think night falls as you're traveling. Oh, and we see the night sky. Oh, that's true. Because we haven't seen it for a while because we've been in the gray. Yeah.

Through the gaps in the storm above, you see the dark, dark night sky. And the cold white stars that shine within. Yeah. I would like to use night moves. Very well. I actually think I changed night moves to also be more mechanically distinct. Great. When you spend time contemplating the movement of the stars in the night, roll plus wisdom. On 10 plus, the GM will answer one question. Seven to nine, the GM will ask you one question in return. Oh, sick. I like that. I love it. 10. Fuck yeah. Nuts.

I'll answer one question. Nuts. And keep in mind. I think we can all understand. And agree that there are bounds to the questions that can be answered by watching the movements. Where is the God gun that will kill the gibbous man? Where is the God gun that shoots smaller gods at other gods? Also, I'm assuming that this means we are stopping for the night. That this is a camp situation. I feel like this would be a situation where we're walking and then we like the canopy lifts or the storm lifts.

And then we see the night sky and we're like, Billy, we need a fairy ring. Oh, that's a good idea. Billy's move, fairy ring. It's not safe for us to like keep traveling in the night. Do you want to do that before? And then we can do that before Ving does night moves? Yeah. Okay. Do you want to read fairy ring? Yes. Fairy ring is when you spend some time creating a protective ring of mushrooms, flowers, stones, or the like. Roll plus wisdom.

On a seven to nine, the ring requires your constant attention, but is only passable to those you choose. On a 10 plus. It will last the night without maintenance. Great. Holy shit. Nice. 10. Holy shit. It's so easy. There's mushrooms. This is such a mushroomy area. Mushrooms, rocks, and flowers. Oh, yeah. They just, like, they just sprout up around you. Oh, my God. Three foot tall mushrooms. This ground is so horny. Yeah. Sorry, Ving. God. Mushrooms love this area. It's also like your homeland.

Yeah. It's where your body is from. Yeah. You're almost just like, Billy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They would know you. They're really cheerful looking mushrooms. Yeah. They're, like, kind of orange. It's like a surprise party. Uh-huh. Surprise. Even the turkey tails on the rotten logs are like. Yeah. All the mushrooms around it are also springing to life. That's really cool. Which kind of, that actually kind of makes sense for why we were going so fucking slow. Yes.

Because, like, there's fairies and everything that are like, Billy's back. It's catching up. Yeah. Yeah. It's like walking around town with somebody who knows everyone. Yeah. So the ring will last the night. You will be protected within it. You're free to, like, you know, open up the fanny pack if you so choose or just sleep on the ground. I would like to do night moves. Okay. I rolled a 10. Okay. So you get one question related to whatever.

Tuck is helping Billy make the fairy ring while you do this. You don't even have to help me with the fairy ring. I think you think you're helping me. I'm like, you gotta move out of the way. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. And then I try to undo the fanny pack and that's what I need help with. It's just the clasp on the fanny pack. Yeah. Yeah. Tuck is putting, like, logs around and you're like, stop. Stop.

Is there any root for us coming into the melee that keeps us out of the gaze of the Gibbous Man? Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or something that's… Like a tunnel? A tunnel. A tunnel through the… Oh, a tunnel of darkness. I mean, he is the darkness. Or a literal tunnel, because the Riverways have tunnels in them. Like, yeah, there could be a literal tunnel, or there could be old roads or something like that. Oh.

Or roads that are shrouded by some sort of, like, presence of fairy or spirit or magic. Oh, yeah. Hmm. I think that, like, watching the stars and seeing where they're looking and where they're not looking, like, watching which constellations wheel in which directions and which parts of the sky are avoided entirely, you feel in the currents of the turning of the stars a path that leads sort of in the direction that you were hoping to go.

Like, the Everwood Valley is, if not a safe place, it's currently safe from the fighting. But the river that was… Turned away, that once passed through Mudlark centuries ago, you believe, passes through a winding mountain valley, crisscrossed with ancient mountain tunnels, old, abandoned roads that led to cities of men from millennia ago, passing through marshland that the stars fear. Ooh. Whoa. Ooh. Is that the Marsh of Mother Neverwood?

I don't know if the characters would know that, but that is what the players would know. Okay. Is there something about Mother Neverwood and the marsh that she inhabits that is not safe, but is dangerous in a different way? Hmm. So is this kind of like a Mines of Moria situation? Yeah. Exactly.

Where we can pass through the mountains and because it's, like, so outside of the realm of the Gibbous Man and, like, touched by other magics, we could potentially, like, skulk through without him, but it comes out in a dangerous place. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Opens us up to new dangers. Mm-hmm. So there is a safer path that is not exposed to the night sky. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Safer from the Gibbous Man. Yes. Safer from the Gibbous Man, yeah. Okay. And the night continues.

Anything else anyone wants to handle in the evening? Can I talk with a fairy? Absolutely. I do step out of the protective ring. I have to. Yeah. But it's an old stump. That was burned once in a fire. Ooh. Okay. Yeah. So there's an old stump. And what does the fairy that is a part of this stump look like? Oh, he is, like, kind of looks like a short Morgan Freeman, I guess. Okay. Yeah, totally. Is that okay? He's got a lot of freckles. Yeah. Very freckly.

Like, kind of looks like the stump that he is connected to. Yeah, like freckly. Super wrinkled, I guess. Yeah. Is that okay? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is that dumb? You think Morgan Freeman looks like a stump is just an accurate description of Morgan Freeman? He kind of looks like a weird old stump. Yeah. And now I have to do the Morgan Freeman. That's great. Hi, Billy. It's me. Stumpy. Stumpy. It's been so long. I've got to have a better name than Stumpy. I think Stumpy's fine. Stumpy's fine? Yeah.

Okay. So, yeah, you approach the stump and there's a little old stump man sitting on top of it smoking a long pipe. How's it going, Stumpy? Stumpy? Well, I'll be. It is me. Your old friend. He like, and creakily slides down the stump and extends his arms. I hug him. Oh, I never thought I'd see you again, Billy. How have you been? I've been busy. I've been all over the place. How have you been? Oh, you know, a stump. Nice. I miss being a stump sometimes. Stumpy. Stumpy. I have a favor to ask.

Well, not really a favor. I guess a favor in a way. Like, can you, but I just need like info. Like what's been going on around here? The ground tastes weird. So this sounds like a perfect opportunity to use a move of Billy's. Sure. Connections. Yeah. Which I also changed the wording of. Oh, okay. So connections. When you put out word to the ragamuffins or local fairies about something you want or need, roll plus charisma. On a 10 plus, someone has it just for you.

On a seven to nine, you'll have to settle for it. You'll have to settle for something close or it comes with strings attached. Your call. Okay. Plus charisma. Sick. 13. Fuck. I could have put you on so many side quests just now. Now I have to just answer a question. Sorry. You guys never let me play. You guys never let me play. I'm playing the game too, you know? So Stumpy leans back on his stump, takes a long drag out of his pipe and he's like, I'm going to go. What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? Stumpy seems like an autumn fairy. Yeah. He's super wise and chill and loves to smoke. Yeah. And he loves to sometimes sneak off into the village to gather a bunch of smoke. Oh, like he's- Yeah. He just carries it in like a backpack of his and then he takes it back to his stump and he just like inhales a bunch of it. Yeah. I like- He just puffs his back.

I like that Billy doesn't think it's weird, but if you look at his, like the bowl of his pipe, there's no like tobacco in it. It's just like a rolling ball of smoke. Yeah. That's cool. Which he takes a deep drag of and breathes out this like campfire scent all around you. I'm sorry. What was your question? Oh, I just want to know like what's been going on here because I was tasting the ground on the way and everything tastes like kind of off.

Yes, it's been a hard time in the mountains and in the valley. You might've heard on the winds a while ago, the valley flooded. Yeah. It was a difficult time for the people down. Yeah. It's still a bit wet around here. Is it still flooded? It's threatening the storms. And he looks up at the gathering storms above one good rain and it could wash the whole valley away. Are the people acting weird? Well, define weird.

Well, you know, like, are they like, are they just like fighting more amongst each other? I mean, he takes another drag from his pipe. Are they letting people in across the river? And he's like looking up at the storm and blows a bunch of smoke out. What? I'm sorry. What was your question? Stompy. I'm sorry. You know how it is. I get lost in thought sometimes. Let me hold your pipe. What's in this thing? Yeah. He's doing whip it. It's really hard. It's just sucking on a whipped cream can.

So, um, you take his pipe away and he goes, okay. And he slaps himself in the face. Okay. All right. I'm back. I'm back. Legally. Thank you. Thank you. For taking that. You know, that's, that's the good stuff. I got that right out of a cook fire. I know. Oh, they were cooking bacon. Weren't they? They were cooking bacon, Billy. Stompy, you have to take a break sometimes. Tolerance break. Yeah. Tuck is like sitting in the, in the fairy circle, like watching Billy.

Cause Billy was like, I have to go outside of the fairy circle. So he's been watching him this whole time. And Billy's got like a pine cone that he's smelling. Like it's a cigar. And Tuck's like, what the fuck is going on over there? What is wrong with this kid? Shaking a finger at the stump. And smacking it. When he hugged the stump earlier, he felt like, he had so much soot. And Tuck, in his head, he's just like, we're going to have to fucking give him a bath again.

I'm so sick of bathing this kid. So Stumpy says, well, after the floods, as you can understand, things got a little lean in the Everwood Valley. People got insular. The communities got desperate. Did they start eating each other? What? No. The way you were saying it, Stumpy. No, Billy, no. It's not that kind of show. But then once things started looking their grimaced. Well, once. Yeah, I said. When things started looking their grimace.

He's doing the high guy thing where he's like, that word cannot be. But it feels good. He says grimace. And then he like squints and looks at you. Uh-huh. Grimace? Is that the right word? I mean, it feels right for the situation. All right. Well, that's how grim they were looking. Then the hogs came. The hogs? The hogs. Oh, no. Oh, no. Stumpy, tell me that ain't so. Led by that great battle boar, Razortusk. No. Not again. And just acre after acre of pig. They must have eaten all the squash.

Oh, they ate the squash. The yams. They ate the aubergines. No. They ate the cornichons. Even the cornichons? Things are not good in the Everwood Valley, Billy. It is a veritable. Hog apocalypse. No wonder that Heron came asking for fish. There must be none left in the river. The hogs ate it. No. Ate them all. The hogs didn't eat the fish. The rivers are one of the- But they tried, I bet. They tried. The hogs, they tried. They choked the rivers with their great bulk.

And though the halflings are a hearty people, it is the fighting has been bitter. And sometimes delicious. Delicious. When we are able to bring down one of those mighty hogs. One of those mighty hogs. But the halflings, as you know, they abhor the meat of all living things. I know. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. Halflings are vegetarians. Meat is like their famine food. Which means, I guess, they're probably eating the hogs when they can. That's the bacon. That's the bacon smell.

That's the bacon. I'm sorry, Billy. I was enjoying the smoke so much I didn't even realize that the bacon sent. No. I should have realized. Why else would they be making bacon? Cut back to Tuck. He's talking to Vang. He's like, I can smell bacon. I can smell bacon. I can smell bacon. Is it on me? Is it me? Do I smell bacon? Tuck leans in and he sniffs. And then he smells his bracelet. It doesn't smell like bacon, but it smells like glaciers and sweat. Let me just make sure it's not you again.

It smells like clean sweat. I don't know, but that bacon is making me horny. What did you say? I said glaciers. Glaciers and sweat. Just however women authors describe the smell of a guy in a romance novel. It smells like exertion in a field after tilling. I always say musk. I'm like, what is musk? The inside of a deer. Oh. The outside of a man. It's like a baseball mitt full of cut grass. Thanks. Yeah, that is what Stumpy has to share with you. The hogs. We remember the hogs.

I think it might have been established in a piece of bonus. It was. So maybe just say it. Okay. For the listeners then, to the east of the Everwood Valley is a place known as the hog lands that were overrun with pigs a few decades ago. It was previously fertile farmland that has become just a place full of pigs. And every once in a while, the pigs sweep into the Everwood Valley. Oh, yeah. There was a hog that ran for president and got in two years in a row. Yeah.

When they can get across the river, when the tide comes down, that's when they can get across the river. When the incursion happens. Exactly. When they can get across the Sunwise and the Wittershins. That's the worst. It's because the flooding comes and then the waters recede and then the pigs can get across. Yes. What was your thing that you were going to- He just wants to make the Everwood Valley good again. Jesus Christ. There's a Trump pig. Yes.

The hog lands are quote unquote led because it cannot be more. It cannot be more established that the majority of the hogs, 99% of the hogs in the hog lands are pigs. Regular ass pigs. Pig intelligence. So pretty smart, but still pigs. One of them, known as Razortusk, is a trained war pig from like a dwarven like gnomish settlement. Oh, yeah. That wandered his way into the hog lands and was like, I will lead you. Easy. People. There's so much going on off screen. And it's all. It's all.

It's all. It's all so stupid. And clean little red hats and say, make hog-merica great again. Make hog-merica hog-a-hog. Make ha-merica. Ha-merica. Ha-merica. Yeah, pretty good. Great. Okay. So yeah, and that is what Stumpy, the Everwood Valley is basically in the midst of the hog times. The hog times are the hard times. Though there are. There are enclaves of safety. There are roving bands of hogs. Still? Still. Okay. I appreciate you telling me all this.

I appreciate you coming to visit, Billy. Always. Well. Well. And he reaches out his hand and gestures. And I spin it. Oh, Billy. Well, what else do you want? Come on. You want my hand? My pipe, Billy. Oh, right. I'm sorry. Oh. Oh. I didn't know if you wanted the spit of friendship or something else. It is as ever. And he spits in his own hand. Yeah. And then clasps your hand. Fare thee well. May you live many moons.

And he climbs back up on his stump and like leans back on his hand and smokes and stares at the stars. Okay. I head back. It's not far. Time to head back. Here we go. He wraps up his backpack, tightens the straps. Three steps. My little bindle. Three steps. And I tell you both what Stumpy told me. Oh, shit. Hmm. Look, I know it's to you just sounds like a bunch of pigs, but it's a big deal to us. You can't. Well, you did keep saying it was a bunch of pigs.

I mean, it's mostly a bunch of pigs, but then there's the one big pig who's really evil. Mm-hmm. And to the halflings, a bunch of pigs is a lot more than that. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There were multiple times in the conversation where we stopped Billy and we were like, so it is a bunch of pigs, right? That's what you're describing. They're not just pigs is what I'm telling you. No, they're just pigs plus a war pig.

Plus one crazy war pig. You make it sound manageable, but it's not. No. Not for halflings. We're just doing it for our own management. Yeah. We're not trying to minimize what you're explaining to us at all. Okay. Fine. Fine. But it just sounds like a bunch of pigs. That's fine. No. You tell me. Things. I don't tell you anything. Billy, what are you asking right now? Are we here to help the halflings in their pig plight?

I mean, I think so, because usually Wild Bill will chase off the pigs, but I don't know if he's sick or something, because they're still roaming around. Can we help them chase the pigs off? And they might be able to help us. So you want us to try and get the pigs out of the Everwood Valley? Yeah. Yeah, Billy. Billy, that's okay with me. It's your home. Yeah, we can totally help it. You helped at my home. We helped at Tuck's. Yeah, we helped my home.

All we did was burn down a tree or whatever and then help fix a religion at yours. All we did was collapse a church. No big deal. These are the pigs, though. The hog times. Billy, we'll help you end the hog times. Thank you. Hog times have come to the Everwood Valley. Where do you suggest that we go? I think we should start at Lone Tree Hill, just to make sure. Okay. And that's where the big farm is as well, so there's a lot of rutabagas that we would grow, and the pigs may have got to it.

Who knows? Maybe the pigs are targeting the stores there, too. Oh, it could be! Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we'll go to the… We'll sleep tonight, and then it's kind of on our way, so we'll go to the Everwood Valley, and then find this pig, and then get rid of it. Yes, the pigs. And then… Guys, is this stupid? Is this stupid? Did I introduce a stupid pig here? No, I love it. It's funny that we're being somewhat dismissive. Oh, fuck. That's a lot of pigs.

Yeah, we're doing the parent thing where we are, like, pretty sure this isn't that big a deal. You guys are imagining teacup pigs running around? You even said, like, it's pretty much on the way. This horrible hogpocalypse is basically just on our route. We could stop by and save America. Thank you. Thank you. The halflings will forever be in your debt. Also, I'd love to see where you're from. Yeah. Yeah. I forgot about that.

I mean, they don't like me very much, so they might not be very happy to see us. I bet they liked you more. More than you think they did. Yeah. Then I guess the night just, we, I guess we would just close it on the night. Yeah. I like Billy around the fire telling us about hogpocalypse. Yeah. I'm telling you about previous hogpocalypse. Oh, man. Yeah. Let's hear a little bit of a previous hogpocalypse.

Well, one, okay, so one year, uh, they ate all the carrot tops, which, as you know, is our favorite source of salad. So, we had nothing else to eat for salad, so. And we didn't know where the carrots were then. We didn't know where the carrots were, so, like, eventually, like, you know, here we are digging up the whole farm, and no carrots to be found. We missed every carrot somehow, and then it wasn't until the next flood when all the, and then they grew too big.

The next flood came, and all the carrots floated to the surface, and they were like, they were like the size of me. Oh, my God. They're huge. And as Billy is giving this professional pantomime performance of the year the carrots got too big. The year the carrots got too big. It's basically Cirque du Soleil. Yeah. The camera follows the embers of the fire up out of the fairy ring into the gorgeous night sky, sinister and dark, and the end of another day.

And that's where we'll end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, and Beulah Z's. So long. Playing Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Hoppers. Hogpocalypse. And playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. They are not just pigs. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music.

You can find all of Aaron's personal music under Aaron Charles Reed or ACR at aaronreed.bandcamp.com and all the music Aaron has made for the show, written by Abdul and myself, at soundcloud.com. Thank you to all of our supporters around the world. Without you, this show simply would not be possible.

If you want to support the show and get access to bonus content, including gift boxes, games run by Abdul and myself, and Blades in the Dark campaign set in the High Spear Mall, check us out at patreon.com or spellore.com. Thank you finally, and most of all, to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores.

And for you, I'd gladly spell dawn.