Episode 5 – Infinite Homages to Innumerable Patrons

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Hopefully she's nearby but who knows well I was just gonna ask what else is happening in the hall right now uh those two guys those two old men are eating and hanging out uh there is a small family unit just a man a woman and a child and they're kind of playing together having a good time uh somebody's working on a net they're like kind of sewing a net together it's just like village life right now yeah yeah it seems pretty fucking lame in here yeah let's go check who dear let's bail okay I'm gonna keep an eye out for wicker though okay but I'll follow you guys okay I'm gonna go get some lily pads from the still part of the the the river to give to her as a little bouquet okay some some lotus flowers yeah so you um go down to the river's edge and there is a little kind of pool that it looks like they've dug out almost like they've kind of redirected a portion of the river uh you're not a hundred percent sure why is there any copper tubing in it what spools of copper tubing in the pool well because that I was in a village once and they had done that they dug out a and then they build a fire with a big drum and then they they it's a diy hot tub yeah nothing like that unfortunately it does have a couple lily pads and some flowers perfect and like the bull rushes that you imagine helped give the village its name and next to the side of the pond you see a tall almost like a wooden box it's got a roof with a little peaked thing and then shelves inside and there are things like fish hooks and little dried fish laid inside on this like layered shelf right next to the water and um where the points of the roof meet there's just like a stylized fish hook it's like a communal lure library kind of yeah some of the hooks that are there are quite old and it looks like the fish has been there for a little bit um is there anyone around that we could ask about this thing yeah there's just like a middle-aged man fixing a barrel hey old guy can tuck scream at him no I'm gonna I'm trying not to scare people scare people in this village yeah yeah he looks up from his work and he's like yeah hey yeah yeah what the fuck is this and then I point at that thing oh that well that's a shrine to the fisher oh cool who's the fish explain more now the old the fisher one of the patrons the first fisher the fisher that all fishers have learned from jesus not no one knows their name it was I've heard it was jesus oh no one knows who the first was it's a g with a z and a y for me nobody nobody knows their name it was the first person to take can I roll for it being jesus uh what do you mean you're just like really confusing this man are you gonna rob me you can roll Spout Lore if you want to like yeah yeah yeah that's what the whole point of the move is is to learn more about a subject so uh you've come across a ton of these shrines in your travels it's not a religion you see a lot of in mccall because mccall is mostly concerned with the worship of the god of the flame but in the principalities a lot of people sort of subscribe to a kind of a semi-religion called the innumerable patrons and it's basically like anybody that does something that's not a religion and it's basically like anybody that does something that's not a religion and it's basically like anybody that does something that's not a religion like anybody that pursues some sort of profession or hobby or whatever likes to pay homage to the first of that kind of thing so this is a shrine to the fisher which would be the first person to take their life and their living from the water uh groups groups that sort of subscribe to the same patron call themselves patronages and people that follow say the fisher you know the way they see it is everybody that fishes or has ever fished learned from the first fisher cool is there somebody that embodies that first fisher or is it just the idea of who the spirit yeah it drove one to fish exactly it's the idea it's interesting in terms of um like you can't pray to the patron and have them respond it's sort of you're just like hey this person taught all of us how to live so we're just gonna kind of acknowledge that call upon them yeah exactly but as far as as far as anybody knows it's not a like divine religion are there any people who are tapped into some kind of magic behind these patrons or at least claim to yeah I'm sure people use it as a scam people have claimed to for sure but um most people don't subscribe to that like they don't think that that's possible but a thing that is something that people pursue is as things are innovated there's always the potential of becoming the first of a thing oh so people a lot of people that are very ambitious or innovative try and become that do the do the first of the thing live forever or is that a thing it's mostly just like can we just say you're the first sure but I mean like like you haven't explored enough of it right like it's like you've been around you've seen the shrines like on the road you'll find shrines to the traveler where people leave like coins from different parts of the world just on the road yeah boots walking sticks like that sort of thing yeah a lot of the things actually end up kind of being like you know public free libraries it ends up kind of being like that sometimes where people will leave behind a thing and then and if you need a thing take your thing geocaching exactly like a take a penny leave a penny jar but for like useful things yeah so they have they have a shrine to the fisher here oh cool yeah um and it can also get pretty weird because like somebody that is just a brutal person like they might pay homage to the killer it's very granular and that shrine would be like jacket knives exactly yeah oh and if you ever found a shrine to the killer like oh you're like we gotta we gotta go there's people who have like the the shrine of the fighter tattooed yeah knuckles oh it would be cool if each of the different patronages had like uh kind of a not a motto but a saying yes it's like I pay homage to uh I pay homage to the first of the fighters his shrine lives at the end of my fists yeah exactly totally it's all sort of like it's interesting because it's individual worship yeah yeah but with those with those chants be like kind of shared yeah yeah they can be shared but the thing is is that two different patronages for the fighter might never meet you know what I mean but it's like people will gather together but it's the kind of thing where you know how like a song kind of yeah state like exactly so it's like that yeah so if somebody that some if somebody that worships the or that pays homage to the fighter travels like they would share things with other people they met that worship the fighter as well can we come up with the fighter one and also the fisherman one right now absolutely okay uh I like the thing that I said yeah about sounds good the shrine uh what was it your arms?

Long and your fists are hard yeah my arms are long and my fists are hard and my dick is also my my arms are long my fists are hard and my massive cock is not far behind not far behind we are we pay homage to the fighter yeah that's what fighting's all about damn it okay well that's it I was gonna try and make it more poetic but no that's no that's not my nets are wide my lures are deep and my massive cock is not far behind it's always weird because it kind of comes around to dicks at some point um yeah basically anybody that starts it that like begins a new thing becomes that thing so that is just a thing that you are now aware of it's just the innumerable patrons are a belief system that exist here yeah uh but yeah you can you're able to snip away like or just break off like a few lily pads yeah in the pond and you're just gonna bring some lily pads to here some lotus cool oh yeah and the flowers yeah and it's given the time of year I'll bring her some some cat tails yeah totally because he's always talking about like you know you can eat these right great so you're uh before I leave I want to pay homage to the first of the fishers okay in respect to like the village yeah okay uh so I like I get in the water and I face the like little shrine and I pull uh like a reed from the bottom of the lake and I fashion it into a lure and I put it on the shelf and I say I pay homage to the first of the fishers who brought us uh sustenance from the water beautiful it's deep is that what billy says yeah this is like whoa I like that you asked a dude what it was like 30 seconds ago but yeah what's this yeah tell me more I'm gonna try and uh yeah be respectful of it yeah yeah one but I mean the and the way that the Spout Lore works like maybe he just reminded you oh right oh yeah right yeah I knew that already yeah fuck what no I'm gonna go pay homage to your to your patron shut up shut up shut up I know this already let me I'm in your religion now asshole I'll tell them I'll tell them I'll tell them that guy I know what this box is but what's fishing oh that does make sense that he would be like he would ask that and then he would be like okay then I would like to pay homage to the patron of the fish uh so you're kind of you walk back up the little oh wait can I try the kind of thing again sure can I just need two seconds to finish writing uh can you guys help me with the second to last verse of this like yeah definitely I have I pay homage to the first of the fishers he weaves he weaves our nets and something something no one knows sustenance from the I will say that no one knows if the fisher is a man or a woman uh that's kind of the no one really first of anything was unless it happens now okay maybe it's happening now no yeah there's a box already you know so I have uh I pay homage to the first of the fishers they weave our nets and something something they wait our hooks oh yeah that's good okay I'll just read this I pay homage to the first of the fishers they weave our nets and wait our hooks and bring us sustenance from the water that old man with the barrels like do you need a third go is that you need a third take hey do you want to maybe give some constructive input on this poem that I just wrote I liked it I've actually never heard anybody say anything to the shrine before so that was pretty powerful do you want to maybe spread it around oh we'll see uh he goes back to fixing his barrel okay and you say yeah you guys head back up uh into the like quote unquote village proper which is really like as we walk up I'm complaining about the guy well I like yeah see why he couldn't just spread it around you don't know if you will or not so I didn't commit one way or the other you don't get to be angry once I make a choice maybe hey don't tell me how to feel hey man don't tell me how to spread a religion okay fair yeah that's what I thought okay I'm I was complaining to these guys I can hear you okay yeah it's a pretty small village I have amazing ear sight jessica you haven't talked in a long time oh I'm just sorry I just fell asleep there's so much monologue this is what I was gonna say so you guys are walking kind of through the village because hudears hut is on the other side and uh there's like um there's a woman and she's feeding chickens there's a group of chickens pecking away at this like pile of seeds and uh billy you see these chickens yeah and through the like crowd of chickens you see a rooster that's like a rooster and you're like oh my god I'm gonna go to the rooster and I'm gonna go to the chicken and it's like almost as tall as you are and it's pecking and it looks up and it's kind of it looks like it's almost like looking for something and it sees you and it locks eyes with you well it locks eye with you because they turn their head to the side because their eyes don't face forward and it goes like and it plows through the crowd of chickens and it starts running at you and it's got it's like wings flapping and it's like and it's coming right for you oh what do you do uh I'm going to what what is around me just grass just like it's like dirt basically this is sort of like the center of the village where people walk a lot so it's just kind of clumps of grass and is there a chicken coop or something no there's nothing like nothing nothing nearby can we help I'm just gonna run away I guess okay yeah can you roll a defy danger uh plus your dexterity okay I got um 10 10 yeah so you could just run are you just running yeah I'm just running in circles yeah pretty much because I was actually kind of gonna head for the seeds to eat some of them I'm gonna I find my snacks where I can yeah so you you take off and it is on your ass it is really trying to get you jesus yeah so you guys see this huge rooster is now chasing billy in a circle through the middle of the village what do you do well I'm gonna put a a wall if I can between them around to put a cage of twigs.

Oh, yeah. You could just talk to the rooster, I guess. Oh, yeah. Dude, chill. It's like, I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it out of here. It's too close to my ladies, and I'm going to get this little thing out of here. Come here. Put your dick away. It's not anywhere. Oh, Billy, it's flapping around a lot. It's not my fault that the grass spreads apart a lot. It spreads apart right where your dick is. Oh, my God. Tell him that you're not interested in his women.

You think I can't see you? You think I can't see you? I'm going to get you. Rooster, that is a boy, not a cock. That's no boy. That's no boy. I am going to put a cage of twigs around it. I'm not going to hurt the chicken, but I wanted to capture it. Okay. Yeah, 2d6 plus your wisdom to shapeshift. 11. Yeah. So you get three hold to shapeshift. Okay. Shapeshift a bunch of roots. Tight. Put it around the boom. Yeah, totally. Just trap. All right. Yeah. So it's stuck in here and it's flapping.

I'm talking to him. It's just quiet down. He's okay. What are you so scared of? It's a boy. It's a boy. I know him. He's safe. Trust me. I'm talking to you. Yeah. So, Billy, do you just like get away from the rooster? Yeah, I'm super tired because I'm not very physical. And so I just fall down. Yeah. And it's like flapping and squawking and just saying, that's no boy. That's no boy. Unsafe. It's not safe. I don't like this at all. This is fulfilling a bond for me.

The rooster is like almost inconsolable, but it's starting to calm down. Billy, get in the hut. Can you explain to me what's happening? Because I can't understand this rooster. Or, yeah, and I guess Bing is just making rooster noises. Yeah. Bing, pick up Billy. Go get Billy. Put yourself in between them. This rooster thinks Billy's not a boy. I don't know what's happening with this rooster, but he doesn't trust Billy for some reason. Billy, I'm going to put you on my shoulders. Okay.

Okay, here you go. Do you want? I have a little bit of time. I have a peapod if you want to eat it. Can you put it in my mouth for me? Okay. I'm so tired. Here you go. Let's do the thing where I flick it in the air and you jump up and catch it. Oh, do I have to jump? Just aim it. Okay, here we go. Flick. Bop. Yeah, so you guys just leave? Bing's dealing with the rooster? Let's try and figure out what's happening here. It's a rooster, man. That's all it's got. That's all it's got for you. Okay.

It says, that's no boy. Get it away. Get it away. Can I roll discern realities about this rooster? Discern realities is not really- Okay, I'll Spout Lore about this rooster. It's a rooster. Hey, this is my fucking choice. I'm going to do this. Okay, go for it. Roll Spout Lore about roosters. Six plus what is it? Plus your intelligence. I failed. Mark some experience. What does Tuck think is going on? What does Tuck think about roosters? Are there chickens and roosters in McCall?

This is a big fuck off rooster too, right? It's pretty big. It's huge. It's like almost two feet tall, basically. For a rooster, it's big as hell. So what do I think? Yeah. And it has to be wrong. It's super wrong. Okay. I think it's a demon rooster. I think it's a demon rooster. And I think it's a rooster that's been following me for my entire life. And I think it's trying to take everything I love from me. The rooster has calmed the fuck down at this point.

And I go up to the cage and I'm like, I fucking know who you are. I know. I know you. Look at me. No. Look at me. It's looking at you through a side eye. Look at me with both of your eyes. It's still. Look at me. Piece of shit. It's going back and forth. It's turning its head back and forth. It says it can. It's like. I know what you did to Bruce. I know you started the fire in McCall. I know you tipped over that stack of used carts on my dad. On my adopted dad, Bruce Spruce.

I'm not going to let you go. This time. What do you do? Ving is is begocking back to the rooster telling him that he thinks you killed his dad. It has zero frame of reference for that. You demon. You demon. And then I. Because Ving could talk to animals. He just talks to them like they're people always. Yeah, totally. Well, you're staring at this rooster and it's just looking at you. But then you start hearing shouting from down by the river.

There's like a young girl who is fishing on the river and she's like holding on to either side of her boat. Like she's got a little boat and it's being bucked around. Yeah. And you see like a like a scaly Finney back kind of like like big like coming up out of the water and going underneath and kind of hitting the boat. And I look back and I look at the rooster. I'm like, damn it, rooster. You did this. And I start running down to the river. Yeah. So she's like, oh, oh, no. Oh.

Oh, well, she's a young girl. You said. Yeah. Yeah. That's how young girls sound. OK. Do it again. Oh, boy. Yeah. I still have two holds left. Right. Can I use them to help the little girl? Yeah. You'd have to let the rooster go, though. Yeah. Let the rooster go. We're gone. The rooster flips out. No, the rooster's fine. Can you turn into something that I can ride out there? Yeah. I turn into a mermaid. You turn into a mermaid. OK. I'll turn into a sea lion. I mean, a walrus. Awesome.

And we swim out there. Yeah. OK. Yeah. So that's one hold. You turn. Tuck and tusks in tow. Oh, yeah. So you're a walrus and you spend a hold to make all that happen. OK. While I'm riding him, I'm like, do I hold on to your tusks or what? There's really not a lot to hold on to. Don't hold no tusks. OK. There's not a lot to hold on to. Get off my gills. You're pretty slick. And Billy's just like. I'm in Tuck's beard because he told me to get on and I didn't have time to get off. Yeah.

So this girl is like. She's like kind of kicking around in her boat. People in the village have started to gather at the water's edge watching fearfully. OK. And yeah, there's something in the water. We're on our way. Yeah, for sure. We get to the boat. You see like kind of flippy hands almost trying to like pull the boat down. Well, I would like to go around and try and confront or butt or headbutt the thing on the other side of the boat. OK, great. Yeah. Well, he does that.

I'll jump onto the boat. Is it big enough for me to get on it? You're what? Over seven feet tall. I'm over seven feet tall. Something like 300. 350, 400 pounds. You could not get in there. Depends how much water weight I'm carrying. 350 or 400 pounds. It depends how much I ate that day, how much water weight I have. It depends if I'm in a bulk phase, which I still am in a bulk phase. Have you ever been in a cut phase? No. Not getting there. Not in the recent past. Cultivating mass. Yes.

Can Tuck swim? How good of a swimmer is he? Oh, yeah. Can Tuck swim? I kind of want to figure out if by chance. All right. I think I've never really tried to swim in fucked up water. So what? One to three can't swim. Four to six can swim. Okay. Yeah. Defy danger. That does sound like a defy danger. Thanks, Wes. Thanks for reminding us how this game works. Yeah. So we'll say defy danger. What? Strength? That's like athletic sort of stuff. Yeah. Okay.

I like the idea that he gets up and stands on the walrus and he puts his hands up like he's going to either do the most majestic dolphin dive or just fall. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah……. Nice. Billy's in your beard, remember? Billy's in my beard. I'm like, Billy, how long can you hold your breath for? We will find out. Billy's cheeks are out to here. Yeah. I've already started holding.

Do you want to get on the boat while I… You have that option. Six plus two plus two is ten. Alright. So yeah, you're swimming. I'm swimming. You dive into the water majestically. Yeah. I want to go underneath the boat. So, Paul, you dive under the water? Well, you're all under the water now. I would go deep and then look up to see what I'm dealing with. A crocodile. But like, big. Big old crocodile. Wow. Trying to knock the boat over. Why? What a jerk.

I try to call it to him in my best crocodile. What are you saying? Underwater crocodile. What are you saying? Stop that. No. If you do not stop, we will be forced to stop you. No one can stop me. And it swims down to you. And it's coming to attack you. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. And it's like snap, snap, snap, snap, snap. But now it's chasing you. Okay, I'm going to head towards that little eddy in the river. Really? Yeah. Okay.

While he does that, I'm just going to get behind the boat and start paddling it back. Fighting it back to the… Yeah. Okay. I put my back against the boat and I fight the river in the opposite direction that I want the boat to go. I do not understand how swimming works. Yeah. And the girl in the boat is like, oh, oh, no. Oh, no. Billy's like, do you have any licorice? Yeah, I just get on the boat and I pat her leg. Oh, that's nice.

And Billy, as you're patting her leg, trying to calm her down, she's like, ah! Like you come out of the beard. What the hell? It's fine. It's fine. It's me. And… Wait, can we see more of this interaction? Yeah. She's like, who are you? I'm Fat Billy. Your name is Fat? Yes. Well, it's a long story. Is that your first name and your last name? No, it's just to distinguish me from other Billys, so you don't get confused. Oh, okay. Well, I only know one Billy. Is it okay if I just call you Billy?

I guess. And Billy, as you're like patting her leg, trying to calm her down, you see the monster chasing thing. And you see from the opposite direction something else coming down the waterway. What does it look like? It looks exactly the same as the thing that just left. Oh, no. Tuck, we gotta get this boat to the shore really fast. Why? I didn't see anything. Explain the danger. Just swim really fast. Okay. And I start fighting harder. Okay. And you hear me go, you piece of shit. Boat?

Fucking rooster. You fucking ruin everything. You fucking ruin everything. I'm crying. You're imagining the river's the rooster. Yeah, and I'm crying. Yeah. I'm crying. Of course. Yeah. Are you crying, though? I'm crying, but nobody knows. And so you… And then someone says, are you crying? And I say, it's the water in my face. It was Billy who asked that, and he was like, and he whispers to the girl, and he's like, it's not the water. It's the water in my face. It's not. You're emotional.

Just admit it. I'm not crying. We're in a fucking river. And you start kicking and punching, because that's how you swim, apparently. Kick punch. Kick punch. And you're kicking and punching the boat. I call this the punch stroke. And you get the boat to the shore, but that thing is still coming. Is it coming after us? Yeah, you're on the shore. And you see it, like, it comes out of the water, and it just, like, chomps onto the boat. And starts, like, dragging the boat away.

Is there anyone in the boat? The girl who was in the boat is kind of wrapped up in a line. So she's getting pulled back into the water, basically. And, yeah, so there's, like, villagers holding her and trying to, like, tug with this crocodile, but it's pretty big. What do you do? What is around me? Because I have no weapons. Maybe you smash a piece of the boat. What is around? I don't know. You tell me. What makes sense? There is an impenetrable force lance next to me that I would like to use.

What makes sense? A sword of impenetrable bone washed up on shore. Magic. What makes sense? Hey, look, this is magic. Look, I found a magic sword. Hey, Abdul. It makes me a hundred feet tall. Hey, Abdul. What a quinky ding. Hey, Abdul. What makes sense? It's the magic sword or nothing. Hey, Abdul. There's a bill hook. What's that? It's a stick with a blade on it. What? Explain to me what… I actually don't know. I'm gonna look up a bill hook. It's like a hockey stick.

Some people calls it a bill hook. It's a hooky blade. Hey. It's just, like, next to… There was a stump on the shore where somebody was getting fish. Exactly. Sticking in the stump. It is an impenetrable magic bill hook. Hey, you know what? You know who set the world rule that magic no longer exists? You did. It's not magic. I don't remember that. I did not take responsibility for it. Ving, you are underwater as a walrus and… I'm gonna head for the shore.

I'm gonna, like, swim up as fast as I can and launch out of the water. Okay. And turn back into Ving. Yeah, totally. Because that'll be your last hold. That's my hold, yeah. So I'm in the air. I'm a walrus into man. I leave the tusks for last. So you, like… So you, like, so… So you land and you've got two huge tusks. And then I go, ah, just kidding. And they go away. And I catch him. Yeah. Oh, you guys are in different parts of the shore. Oh. Yeah, yeah. He's close to the pool. Okay.

Yeah, the pool that you were at. Okay. So you land and just as you land at that pool, it comes charging out of the water. So it looks like a crocodile. Yeah. But big and, like, slate gray. And it's snapping. And it's a charging. And it's a gonna bite you. And I'm screaming for Tuck and… You guys are probably, like, I don't know. 60, 70 feet apart. Okay. So we're both each on our own. Kind of, yeah. This might be a bit of a Hail Mary.

What if I dive at it and try and turn myself into a stone spike in the air? If I fail, I'll get eaten for sure. It's pretty dope. It's gonna be… Well, do shapeshifting first. I'll shapeshift into a giant rock hook. Nine. That is a good roll. Plus my constant… Wisdom, I think. Wisdom. Eleven. Yeah. So you have three hold. Okay. To a rock. I'll turn my fists. I meld them into one giant spike a la T-1000. Oh, okay. Barbed. Okay. Gotcha. Yeah.

Like Tuck did when he dove in the water beautifully, I take, like, a swan dive into his mouth as he's chomping down. Yeah. With a spiky… And, like, into his belly. Okay. Roll your damage. One. One. Um… How is that possible? It, like, chomps down and it does no discernible damage. Like, it's just like… Ah, it felt weird. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what happened there. I want to go further inside and bust out. What? That… There's… I can't see a situation in which that hold would…

Allow me to do that? Like, there's a thing that, like, a rock… So a rock, uh, in its nature doesn't burst through people. You know what I mean? Let me tell you about when I had kidney stones. But you can… You can… You can roll a hack and slash at this point. Yeah, okay. I just started hacking, uh, at the sides of his mouth and screaming, why so serious? Jesus Christ. So that's 2d6 plus your strength. Yeah. Whoa. Monster roll of 12. Okay. Nice. Yeah. Okay, give me… Okay, we'll do…

We'll do one… Roll your damage one more time. Plus 14. Plus… Yeah, roll your damage one more time. So roll 1d6. 6. Okay, great. Yeah, so it chomps down again, basically. Like, you're just kind of shoving these things into its throat. Yeah. And you… It, like… You see blood start pooling at the back of its mouth. Cool. Yeah. And it starts pushing up towards its eyes. It starts, like, it starts pulling… Like, it's trying to pull away, away from you, basically.

Like, it's trying to walk backwards. But I have those barbs. Yeah, you got those barbs. Uh, actually, Tuck, your… Okay, yeah. What are you doing? What's the configuration of crocodiles in front of me? About 15 feet to one side. The big crocodile is trying to pull the boat back into the water. Okay. And about, you know, what did I say? 60, 70 feet to your right, uh, thing is seemingly elbow deep in a crocodile. The big crocodile is trying to pull the boat.

And you see, like, the line is getting really taut, and it's… The crocodile starts winning, basically, in this tug of war. And, um, Alaki, who was previously… You couldn't see her for a few minutes. She comes hauling ass out of the village, and she's wearing, like, um, a long grass, like, coat. Uh-huh. And she's got a long, uh, worn-looking sword in her hand. Uh-huh. And she runs up and she just skids to a halt and slices right through the rope. Oh, cool.

That was holding the girl, and the crocodile kind of stumbles backwards with the boat back into the water. Okay. So the… It's pulling the boat down under. Uh-huh. Kind of chomping on it and crunching it, but they pull the girl into the crowd and start rushing away from the shore. Okay. And, yeah, so she's, like, kind of squaring up with this crocodile as it starts to realize that it doesn't have its prey, and it's coming back out of the water really slowly. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And she's, like, ready to mix it up. So what does Billy do? Um, so Billy's gonna do that thing where he, like, gets up and runs his dagger up the tummy of the crocodile. Okay, you're gonna have to give me a hack and slash. Because it is now aware of you. Okay. Because you put a knife in it. Yep. So 2d6 plus your strength. What was that? Ooh, that is another three. That is a six. Oh, I failed. Uh, so you get up, and you're, like, trying to, like…

Well, you're trying to get up, because it's not, like… There's a ton of room under this crocodile, and it just flops down on you. Ah! So it's just trying to crush you. Jeez. Like, it's… And it's squirming and squiggling, so it does, uh… Oh! What? Boy, oh boy. It's fine. It does, uh, eight damage. Billy! As it just, like, lands on you. I'm so small. I'm so small. But I'm not dead. How much damage can you take? I can take 23 damage. Okay, you're fine.

You see Alakie kind of swipe at it a couple times, like she's trying to keep it back, but she's, like, she's not running. Okay. She's just trying to keep it at bay. And she swings, and she overextends a little bit. No. And it rushes forward, and it gets her by the leg. What? And it starts pulling her into the water. And she's, like, hacking at it. Like, not… She's not screaming. She's not… She's yelling in, like, exertion, but she's just hacking at this thing in the face.

And she's being pulled into the water. Oh, no. What do you do? So, I am really in a rage now. Uh-huh. Because I'm confused about what I am supposed to do, and nothing makes me angrier than… Being confused? Feeling stupid. Yeah. Uh, so, I… Uh, I take the fish… Billhook. The impenetrable billhook. That says penetrable. Nope. Uh, and I… I jam it straight into this crocodile. Uh, or this is what I want to do. Yeah. Uh… What was your intention here?

Uh, to distract the crocodile from Alakie. It slows down a little bit. Like, you kind of knock it. It's not… Like, it's a big animal. Yeah. But it stops for a second, and Alakie's able to just, like, jam her sword, like, right into its mouth, basically. Like, just near her leg. Uh-huh. Uh, she might actually be cutting into her own leg. Hmm. But she… She's kind of starting to pry its mouth open. Yeah. With her sword. Uh-huh. Uh, Ving, you're shoulder deep. Yeah. What was your plan here?

You wanted to sink it? I… I was thinking about that, but now I think that I… He's trying to get away. Yeah. He's bleeding bad. Uh-huh. I'm gonna spend my hold to launch myself backwards, and then get over to help the… The gang. How do you do that as a rock man? Rock arms. Um… Well, as… Or is the… Or are the rocks to basically just get your… Is the hold to basically to get your arms out of? Yeah, I pull back as hard as I can. I… I shrink in my barbs. Yeah. And I…

I cut on my way out. Yeah. Uh, and… And… And, uh… And tell him, like, good night, sweet prince. Great. You are the kings of Maine. So you're… You're cutting on the way out, so we'll give you one more D6 damage roll. Three. Three? Not bad. Uh, you do it a little bit more damage, and it is, like… It slinks back into the water. I do it to its tongue. Yeah, it's just like, ow. Yeah. It's… Nothing will ever taste right. And it scurries back into the water. Great. And it…

It starts to swim away. And you see, like, blood clouding up out of the river. Yeah. I'm making my way back to them. Yeah, I'm making my way downtown. Walking fast. Um… Walking as fast as I could. Yeah. Face is passing your home. Not a run, though. No, it's just a walk. Yeah. Um, yeah, so you're running back. So, yeah, what… Billy, you kind of pull yourself back up out of the mud. Billy's gonna barf a bit. He's not feeling good. And after… After he barfs… After he barfs…

Where's my dagger? Where'd it go? You held on to it. Did I? Yeah. Oh, but yeah, you're like… I like that you're so out of it. You're like… You're holding your dagger. You're like, where's my dagger? Where's my dagger? And then one of us is like, it's in your hand, man. Oh, there it is. It's covered in barf, bro. I'm gonna sneak attack it. Okay, yeah. Wait, is that a thing I can do? Defy danger dexterity. Nine. Nine. Great. What's your partial success? You're totally nude. I am.

There's gotta be something better than being totally nude. You are totally nude, though. I mean, you could have taken, like, some soft tissue damage, maybe. Yeah, I've got some flaps going on. Or it could be that he is concussed. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. Yeah, you're not… Something… You do feel a little… I feel very out of it. Oh. And he did have a barf. Yeah, he did have a barf, didn't he? Oh, yeah. Okay, no. What it… So what it is, is… You're feeling like, weirdly angry. Oh.

I don't get angry very often. No, you don't. But you're feeling really, like, angry. Like, you really wanna fight this thing now. But you're worried that if you do, you might not be able to get yourself back under control very easily. So what do I do? Do you wanna go in there and try and help him fight this thing and potentially lose a little bit of control over yourself, or do you wanna try and get this under control? No. If I'm mad and concussed, I guess I will just go in there.

Okay, so 2d6 plus your dexterity? Ten. Ten? Yeah. So, Billy, you kinda, like, glaze over a little bit as you're doing this, and you, like, crawl up the back of this crocodile as Ving is fighting it, and you just start stabbing it. Yeah. In the back of the head, just, like, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab. And everybody stops. The fight's over, but Billy is still stabbing and stabbing and stabbing and stabbing and stabbing. Well…

I'll look over at Ving and be like, should we just, like, let this play out? And it's dead. It's full-on dead. And he gets up and he starts, like, kind of coming at you, Tuck. Okay. Oh. And I go, Billy, what the fuck are you doing? Billy, bud. Billy? Billy, what do you do? Is there anything going on in Billy's head that is clear? You just feel different. Like, you feel like a, like a… Is he, like, murderous? Not murderous.

It's just, like, he's losing control of something that's affecting him, influencing him. Oh. Billy, uh, like, is just, like, glazed over, and he starts rushing towards Tuck, but runs past him through his legs and is heading towards that rooster. Yeah, Billy's running away. Okay. And, like, has a look in his eyes. And I've got that dagger in my hand. So what do you guys do? Billy, bud. Hey! It's okay! Yeah, we're following him, trying to talk to him. Billy, what's going on? Trying to get him.

Everybody get out of the way! Except for that fucking chicken. Billy's running into the middle of town, where that chicken pile is, with the rooster. Um… I'll go up and grab him by the shoulder. Okay. I'll grab him. Yeah, and he's struggling. You could grab Billy, but he might, in his struggles, end up cutting you a bit. Okay. I'll take it. I love Billy. I want to know what's happening. Okay. Yeah, so you grab Billy, and you're, like, struggling and kicking around. I'll take a swipe.

Yeah, take a swipe. Billy, look at me. And then I pop some granola into his mouth. What does Billy do with the granola? He starts choking, and then he starts foaming. Oh, whoa. Whoa, holy shit. Yeah, okay, so something's… Billy's freaking out. I want to put a cage around Billy. Okay. Once he foams. Yeah. I plant roots all around him. I put extra leaves in their moss, so it's soft. The villagers see Billy, like, freaking out. Mm-hmm. Houdir pushes through the crowd with a bag.

You can see sprigs and leaves poking out of the top, and she runs up and kneels down in front of the cage that you've created around Billy, and she looks very concerned. Ving asks, what's wrong with our friend? She looks at him for a few more seconds, and she looks up at you and says, I don't think this is your friend. Thanks for listening to Spout Lore. My name is Sean O'Hara, and with me, as always, have been players Paul, innumerous patronus, Abdul, not a motto, but a saying, and Jessica.

There was so much monologuing, and I just, like, checked out. Thanks to Wes, our technical producer, for all the technical things. Thanks to Aaron Magoo at Heckler's Bar and Grill for letting us record in the upstairs Heckler's Lounge, and thank you to Aaron Reed for the intro and outro music that you have heard today. Thanks for listening to Spout Lore, and we'll see you next week. And so ends the tale of adventures three, who tried the best they could.

Though dumb and scared and lost they'd be, for time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, it may be we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more, whilst you commute or do your chores, and for you I'd gladly Spout Lore.