Episode 6 – Allison

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore I'm your gamekeeper Game master Sean O'Hara, and with me as always, playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hello Playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian of Fucking Abdul, come on man You did it so deliberately No, we needed some of these The table's wider than usual You grabbed three d20s You grabbed one d6, you didn't even grab everything you needed All you need is a d6, two d6, there you go Perfect That's Tacoma Dome, the barbarian played by Abdul Aziz Hi Does this count as a shoeing convention?

Absolutely not I mean, unless pissing me off Immediately Yeah, totally Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers You guys make me sick I'm outta here Oh shit, he tore up his contract Fuck He tore up the spell log contract that we all had to sign when we got here It's a contract that says that none of us are making any money Aha When last we left our heroes They had entered the beach town of The resort town Little Sur was a beach town Crystal Bay is a resort town Of Crystal Bay And came to the There was some weird spirit stuff at the beginning Oh yeah Yeah, the group ran into the convoy of the DeSom Creek Theater Society Billy hung out for a little bit Then Vinny ran into the convoy of the DeSom Creek Theater Society And Ving and Tuck were playing a game where they were throwing rocks around And Ving summoned a spirit of sand To throw a rock at Tuck And accidentally pissed them off And they just started whipping rocks at everybody Was it the spirit of sand or the spirit of the ocean?

It was the beach Because you didn't even hit the water with the rock that you were throwing You were like, I bet I could throw a rock from here into the water And you did not Yeah It was embarrassing for everybody But then we made it to Crystal Bay And some hangouts were happening The group was able to bilk themselves into a Resort A reservation at the Emerald Hotel and Spa The finest resort in Crystal Bay And Mears and Perel Just decided to stay behind In the hotel room While some spa shit went down And the group was Recommended to go to a Small little bar slash eatery Called the Beached Whale Where they did go Tuck had a disastrous interaction with a local cougar Named Dina And then ran into His old fling And then he was!

There's a woman sort of thing a beehive I guess so all right yeah like will mcflintstone kind of oh my god uh perfect so tell me a little bit about succubi in mccall and they're like like how they have interacted with society um I think it's kind of the same everywhere I don't think they're just a mccall thing okay I think there are a lot of them in mccall there's a lot of them I think there's like more there than other places why do you think that is because I feel like mccall is like uh older because it's kind of an older town so there's like more acceptance of like weird demonic creatures and stuff the religion in the principalities is pretty staunchly like demons are bad but in other places they're just like oh whatever it doesn't matter right yeah because mccall is like an older religion and the god of the flame is kind of a demon interesting it's seen by other religions as like a demon because it's a fire person oh wait is the prince of flame made of fire uh yeah just a burning person he's a burning person that's really spooky yeah so there's like a lot more acceptance of like that kind of stuff there interesting so what is a in our setting they just feed on life force of someone else through sex or relationship okay yeah cool yeah they don't necessarily kill someone when they leave sometimes like someone will date a succubus and then she'll finish feeding on his life force and he'll just be sad for a few months after the breakup yeah yeah I just think wow that that breakup really hit me hard yeah lose a bunch of weight yeah but it was a demon he was just depressed because she had eaten his part of his soul classic most succubi don't kill people yeah they don't just eat the whole soul uh-huh yeah well yeah why would you and we're also saying that male succubi called incubi no they're called male succubi all right there's all right are we not creating our own world sean you already haven't by using succubi no that's a term I came up with uh-huh and how did you get what's the root of the word succubi uh so because they're by they're all of the succubi are by uh-huh and they suck you and then they turn you by wow and that's how I came up with it uh-huh original character do not steal anyway yeah male succubi the way that they feed on women's souls is by just destroying their self-esteem by treating them like garbage yeah so anytime you see like a shitty dude with like a really cool like hot chick it's usually because he's a succubus wow whenever you're like what the fuck is going on here he's not even nice or cool it's just like oh it's because he's like he's eating her soul he's eating her soul yeah and he'll say shitty stuff like wow you like when we got together you still like really put a lot of effort in not anymore I guess yeah incredible so that is where we are oh allison whoa uh-huh good to see you again and then I leaned back and to like put my hand on the counter and I miss and I uh I fall backwards it's been a minute screech my why yeah I think what happened was I put my hand on the bar but it was wet and it slipped and I hit my head yeah elbow on the bar slip hit my head and then immediately get back up laughing my head is bleeding it's this live edge yeah and I also have to say that I'm not a big fan of the bar I'm not a big fan of the bar I'm not a big fan of the bar I'm not a big fan of the bar two black guys from that fight in the pool just at tacoma you've had quite a night uh it's uh just uh getting started if this is the tacoma I remember you always were able to take a little bit of punishment and I have taken quite a bit since we met to old times she holds up her drink and then I take it from her and I drink it and she kind of she just kind of looks at you like neutrally and just holds up her hand to the bartender for one more would you like another drink yeah sure okay then she holds up the symbol for two more okay which is uh two fingers she does she does like uh rock paper scissors too nice billy and ving are at the tables just like enjoying your meals yeah well we also just watched the aftermath of the bar of like allison and tuck meeting again yeah so what a billion thing to hearing the word allison well we mouths agape jump up we both jump up uh and then uh we're just like oh my god that's her she's real he wasn't making her up holy moly she's really pretty yeah ving then gets up to go talk to dina so ving just walks out of the bar to follow dina to wherever she's going oh and then comes back in the bar with her like come on let's go get a drink okay yeah comes back a moment later at the bar with dina he was like to billy they were like oh my god that's allison that's crazy that's nuts I'll be right back I'll be right back okay out the door comes back 30 seconds like before like the saloon doors and they squeak open before they can squeak back he comes back in with dina she's like oh hi yeah yeah right this way I like your crystal hands you would your crystal hands are so cool they're also pretty warm and they're just doing that she's like running her hands up and down ving's weird crystal arms hands and wrists or wherever it's at watch this she's trying to sing for you I used to do a little bit of singing in my youth oh yeah yeah yeah I believe you a bit kind of a dick to women a little bit what you didn't remember vev's name who's vev yeah there we go uh so what's billy doing he's just he's eating and he's taking the opportunity to eat some of ving's food okay when watching all these uh adults yeah and I'm like I don't know why they spend so much time with these women I don't know what they offer but it must be good and then my thoughts go to something else.

Just stop thinking about it entirely. I'm just eating. Oh, it's roast. I like that it was like they watched a train wreck happen and they were like, whoa. Oh my god. I think where it was like So many train wrecks. Yeah, they were just like Billy's like, I'm going to eat all of this food that I ordered and Bing is like, I'm going to go fuck that lady that Tuck fucked up with. Oh my god.

And that's where Tuck's leaned over the bar and the bartender comes over and brings two more of this cocktail that she's drinking. What are you doing in Crystal Bay? Oh, you know. I just kind of drift around. I go where the food is and an event like the Coronetta, it's kind of hard to pass up. Is it like a sex festival?

Well, we talked about yesterday or last time we played we talked about that since the Coronette is here people think that conceiving a child during the Coronetta the child will be like incredible. So a lot of people come here and try and bang. Succubus, they'll follow desperation around. Yeah, exactly. So they're like a lot of people are really desperate to bang in this period of time and I am here for it. So yeah, she's just like, you know, it's like a feast.

So there's a bunch of succubi in town? Is Bing in the situation? Is Bing like moving closer to the conversation? And Dina's like, so where are you from? The hardwoods in the frozen north. Oh, that sounds so interesting. And you're like looking at Tuck and Allison. She's like grabbing your face and moving it back towards her. Oh, hey, I like your hair. Yeah. What's up with the gills? Oh, those are my tell. What does that mean? I'll tell you later. Tickles the hair on her chin.

And Allison is like, wait, does she have a beard? No. Hair's on her chin. Sometimes, you know. Menopause. That's just Dina. Yeah. Menopause is a bitch. Okay, cool. Or maybe wherever she's from, women just have goatees sometimes. She's trying to help her grow, you know? Trying to help her grow that hair on her face. And Allison is saying, you know, and especially the way that this coronet has been working out, I don't see myself leaving anytime soon. Oh, yeah, because it's like lasting forever.

Well, I mean, you might have noticed, but. What time of day would you say it is? You know what? It really wasn't established that well. I said that as you were coming to the beach dwell that you were surprised that the sun hadn't fully gone down yet. Oh, yeah. And you look out the window and it's still sunset. I don't know. It's like evening? I mean, by my watch, and she pulls out like an old flip open mechanical watch, she's like, it's 5 a.m. Whoa. What?

Yeah, so, you know, people, sunset's so beautiful. It's already, you know, it gets the blood flowing for a lot of people. This has been a real nice hunting ground for me for the last few weeks. Wait, how long has the sun been setting for? Say 16, 17 days. Whoa, what the fuck? I wish I could explain it, but it has been a boon for me. And she takes a sip of her cocktail. Have you been killing guys? Killing? Please. Why would I cut down the tree when all I need is a little applesauce? Gross. Fuck.

She takes another sip. That's based on a real… I thought about that thing when I was thinking about what Allison's doing here. That's based on a real thing my dentist said to me when he heard that I got engaged. Wow. He said, why would you buy the cow when all you want is a little ice cream? What the fuck is wrong with your dentist? He divorced his wife and married his secretary. Like a classic piece of shit dentist.

She's like, no, you know, I just, so I just I take a little bit here, I take a little bit there. Oh, yeah. You did it to me. Remember? When you took my second virgin? Do you remember that? And she stops. She was taking a sip of her drink and she looks at you like, excuse me? Remember when you… Tacoma, we never… I wrote a whole song about it. What do you… What do you think the second virginity is? It's the kissing virginity. And she closes her eyes.

The first one is hugging, second one is kissing. Oh, Tacoma. And then the third one is both hugging and kissing. Together at the same time. Yeah, I suppose we never did those two things at once, did we? Yeah. I haven't gone past two. Oh, Tacoma. And she pats your shoulder. You sweet, sweet boy. Two. Yes, two. We've lost two virginities. Oh, boy. There's 45. It's been a long time since we've seen each other. Yeah, wait, no, hold on. I'm sorry. 45? Yeah, the last one is anal.

And she kind of goes, hmm. This is a list that I was given. When I was living on the streets of McCall. Oh, I did see that list going around back in the day. The 23rd one is like having sex with like a folded knee. You know what? Let's not talk anymore about this. Okay. I'm here for business, not pleasure, as it were. What are you doing here? We're just, we're also here for pleasure. Which is the opposite of what you said. Any winks at her. Oh, what? We're also here for pleasure.

Is that what you said? Wait, what did you say? I said, yeah. Oh, boy. Jeez. And then I grab her drink and I drink it. I got you one. I finished it. Okay. I'm really stressed out. She holds up her hand two more. Yeah. I have a tab going. Okay, cool. Yeah. Me and the bartender, we have a little arrangement. Are you having sex with him for free alcohol? That's the arrangement, yes. I'm here with these guys that I point to Billy and Ving. Hi.

She sees like a little child, a tiny one foot, two foot tall ball sitting alone eating a feast at a table. That's, is he yours? Yeah, that one's mine. And then that's my partner. And I point it. Oh, Tacoma. I'm so glad that you found happiness. Yeah, these guys are great. Yes, I'm sure they are. There's two more back at the hotel. Oh. Yeah. Well, Tacoma, I like that you've grown. Yeah. Yeah. He got confused. He doesn't know what she's talking about.

Have you heard that song that's been going around? And she smiles like, I had a feeling that that was you. That was us. That was Ving. Ving was the one that did the backing vocals on it. Ving just turns around and gives her like a little rock and roll. Rock and roll horns. Crystal horns. And she, she holds up her drink, gives you a nod. And so what happened? I'm wondering, what did Tuck think happened to Allison? He thought that a priest killed her. Oh, yeah, right. Right, okay.

But it's pretty sick that you're not dead or in hell. Well, I was banished for a year or two. You were in the outer dark? Yeah. I got sent back. That was unpleasant. I so enjoyed having a humanoid form that going back to sort of the boundless chaos of the outer dark was not enjoyable experience altogether. But I'm so glad to be back. And I'm so glad to meet you again and your friends. Little boy over there. Hello. This is Billy. This is Billy. Does he want to come over here?

Well, let's just go over to the table. Okay, I'll come sit with you. Yeah. And Allison walks up. She's very graceful. She's got a flowing red dress, long red hair, pale skin. Oh, my God. Is Billy feeling feelings? No, but he's intimidated. Well, yeah, for sure. Are you a ghost? Oh, no, I'm not a ghost. I'm a woman. Okay. She slides into the booth. What's your name? I'm Fat Billy. Your name is Fat Billy? Yes. Okay. Yes. My name's Allison. She holds out a hand. Oh, you're Allison. That one.

Yes, that one. I assume you've heard the song. Yes. I assume you've heard some stories. I've heard the virginities. And she looks at Tacoma like, how much have you told him? Not a lot. We haven't had the talk yet. Yeah, the virginities. Is Billy saying virginity? Yes. Does he know my true nature? Yeah, it was in the song. Oh, yeah, I suppose it was. Yeah, he knows. Billy, do you know what a succubus is? Yeah, she took your heart and your hymen. Those poor hymen. The men. The Scottish hymen.

Yeah. So, yeah, he kind of knows. Where'd you keep them? Oh, there were some inconsistencies in that song, I assure you. Billy, when you're like looking at Allison, you're thinking, oh, she's very pretty, but she also seems very scary. No, like, you're getting this weird vibe where she seems very nurturing. What? Like she would take care of you. Really? I know. Like, at first you're like, oh, she's very unsettling in some way.

But you get this like nagging feeling that she's like, she would be somebody that would take care of you, that you could come to if you were scared or if you were sad. But I'm scared right now. Yeah. It's a very, do you want to, is there any sort of role that you want to make? Yeah, how do I, I will discern the realities of Allison. So 2d6 plus wisdom. 10. So awesome. 10 plus. With a 10 plus you get three questions from this list. What happened here recently? What is about to happen?

What should I be on the lookout for? What here is useful or valuable to me? Who's really in control here? What here is not what it appears to be? Okay, I'm gonna ask what should I be on the lookout for? This feeling of Allison like being nurturing in some way. Mm-hmm. Since you have more experience with magical, supernatural stuff, you understand that this is not a feeling that you were feeling. This is an energy that she's putting off. Okay. And then who's really in control here? Allison.

Definitely. Allison is in control in here to a degree that you are just starting to recognize now that you realize that this isn't a natural feeling that you were feeling for her. You look around and you see everybody in the bar is kind of stealing glances at her. There are some people openly staring like it's just like everyone in the bar is being pulled towards her in a weird way. Hmm. And what here is not what it appears to be. Okay. Yeah.

So Billy, you notice you're like watching all these people that are being pulled towards Allison and staring and you see one table of real rough neck looking like shitty guys. Yeah. And they're looking over at Allison and they're looking at tuck and they're like talking behind their hands like like pointing at him like and they're like kind of psyching each other up. You see one of them start to get up from the table with like a beer really wagering over. What is Mark of Might do again?

Mark of Might is they recognize you as somebody not to be fucked with. Do you have that? Yeah, I have Mark of Might. Oh, okay. So that would probably actually and my Mark of Might is like a bunch of friendship bracelets that we all made for each other. So we're each wearing three friendship bracelets. Right. I forgot about that. I forgot that's what you decided. That is like makes it very clear that we're friends. Yeah.

So does Billy just like like kick tuck under the table or something like that? Is this guy swag? Yeah, I do. Yeah. Yeah. I've been while he does this. I've been listing the different virginities and I was like, so number 10 is over the shirt or under the shirt over the bra left. Yes. Number 11 is over the shirt under the bra right boob. Oh, they're separate virginity. And honestly, this is the first time these guys are hearing this. Yeah. It's wrapped. Yeah. Billy Billy thinks this is the talk.

So I'm taking notes. No. Yeah. Yeah. Jessica poked her brain every time. Talk to us on Billy goes pokes his forehead. I got it in here. I got it. This is how Billy learns is like he listens with his eyes open. He's like, it's in there. It's in there. It's in there. It's in there. It's in there. It's in there. Great. When Billy learns, it's so fucking weird. He's also got like because they gave him like the menu, the kids menu with the crayons.

So he's like making symbols like okay, boob their boob. It's not good, but he knows what it is. It's Billy language. It's like Billy's weird, like pretending to write scribbles that actually do have meaning. Yeah. Yeah. If you look at him really hard, you're like, oh, no, I get what he's trying to say. I get what he's saying for some reason. That's soft core. This guy is he's standing there with like a mug and he's pretty big. He's definitely not as big as Tucker Ving, but he's pretty big.

And I bring my hands up from under the table to reveal my friendship bracelets. And I do the same. And Ving turns around and planks his crystal arm with bracelets around it. Yeah. So the guy sees Tuck do that and he's like, oh, I'm not just gonna go talk shit to this one guy. There are three people in this bar. Two and a half men, really. How have we not ever made that connection? I don't know. The closest I ever got was three men and a baby, but with two men. Yeah. We suck at comedy. So dumb.

So he like he sees enormous Tuck and especially when you put your friendship bracelets up on the table, he sees your like enormous arms, like how truly yoked you are. And then Billy puts his up and he sees Billy's got a ton of knives and he sees Ving like things becoming basically a monster. I flare my gills at him. Yeah. And you got the crystal claws and he just looks at everybody and he goes, hey, hey, what's up? Can we help you, friend? I doubt it.

Is there someone else who can help you there? I don't know. He's really nervous because he came over here being like, this is going to be great. And now he's like, I don't know. What about what about you? How are you doing? And he looks at Allison and Allison takes a sip of her drink like I'm fine. Like you can tell he wants to say something, but he's he's working up the courage. And then what's we're like, what's your name? It's not it's tuber.

We can tell that he's and he's nervous about talking. And we're like we get nervous when we talk sometimes to just say whatever's in your head. It's totally fine. It's a safe space. You're with friends. Yeah, say it. And then we're like to to to and he just turns around and he walks away to don't be like that. He gets back to the table and his friends are like, what are you doing? What do you do? Go back there. Go back. And he's like, and one of his friends is like, no, forget this.

They're not even from here. You could. They're not even from here, man. This is our bar. And one of them just picks up like their glass and whips it at your at your booth. Okay. Whoa, it's sailing right at your booth. What do you do? I just punch it with my crystal hand. Sick. Give me a defy danger dexterity. What a wild move. Yeah. Oh, wow. Snake ice. Yeah, there's nothing we can do. Nothing you can do about that. So what happens when you try to hit this?

I punch the glass still intact into Tuck's face. I said, heads up. Bam. Right in Tuck's face. What's your damage? D6. Roll it. Roll it. No, you don't really do six. Talk. You roll a D6 to so you only take one because you have natural one armor. Oh, man. I start laughing because I thought it was pretty funny. Yeah, but it just smashes. It hits me in the nose. Like that was pretty close. You have a bloody forehead, two black eyes and a cracked nose. Man, crystal base fucking attempt.

Oh, it chipped your tooth, bud. No, not my tooth. Oh, no. And all these guys start laughing like and like multiple tables of shitheads are just laughing at you now. Hey, like get out of here. Come on. Get out of here. You little wusses. Get up. Move on. What is the establishment doing? This is a classy joint. The beached whale? No, it's not. Oh, it's kind of a shitty. Yeah, it's kind of a dive. The bartender is not paying a attention. Like he's like looking away like cleaning glasses. Wow.

You get the idea that these guys like all know each other and that this is maybe a bar that like the bartender doesn't really want them at, but they pay most of the time. Maybe they're related to somebody. Oh, it's like there's like some kind of crime. Yeah, it's like a mob thing. Like they're all in a gang and it's like, well, we can't really tell them to leave. Yeah. But nobody else wants to come here because these guys are here all the time. And so I stand up.

You stand up and like six tables of people stand up and I'm like, hey, rude. Apologize to Billy because he got beer all over the thing. Stands up. I'm sorry, man. That was my dad. I'm sorry, bud. See, he apologized. I forgive you. That was easy. Yeah, you guys apologize now. And Tuber is like, we're not going to apologize for anything. This is our bar. What are you talking about? Do you own it? No, we just own like half of Crystal Bay. Really? Are you? What?

What's a dumb name for a gang that thinks it's cool? The Red Scorpions? Diamond Shields? The Crystal Bay Pirates? Yeah, I like that. Okay. So stupid. It is. You just stumbled into the one of the many layers of the Crystal Bay Pirates and they roll up. He rolls up his sleeve and there's like a crystal, a purple crystal skull tattoo on his arm and they all roll up their sleeves and they've all got this tattoo of a crystal purple skull. Whoa. Can I see it? Can I go closer?

And they all back up a little bit. I just want to look at the tattoo. Oh, I like this moment of like, let me see it. Whoa. Yeah. I want to see a tattoo. Whoa. It's like tense, but you're just trying to look at the tattoo. I'm trying to look at your tattoo. If you want to come look at it, you're going to have to come look at my fist. And there's a second where everybody waits to see what Tuck does.

And Allison is sitting in the booth and she uncrosses her legs and then crosses them again and takes a sip of her drink. And then everything goes nuts. Barbara! Yeah, and somebody starts playing peony. It's like ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. He swings at you. What do you do? I try and grab his arm as he's swinging. Roll a d6. Three. He hits you right in the face. You take two damage. I do the thing where I get hit in the face and I laugh. I go, whoa. Pretty good.

And then I kick him in the stomach out the window. Okay. Roll a hack and slash. Fuck yeah. He takes damage like he heard a joke. Good one. Nine. Roll your damage. Six. So you just, what, you plant your foot on his chest like Hulk style? Yeah. And so you kick this guy, you kick Tuber out a window and he's just gone. And then his friend picks up a chair and slams you with it. That's where I want sound effects. Roll d6 again. Six. Six. So he hits you for five damage.

He just destroys a chair on your back. I'm going up to the chair destroyer. Okay. So what does Bing do? I'm going to punch him in the face. Okay. Two to six plus your strength. Eight. Roll your damage. Five. Yeah. Again, you take care of this guy very easily. He hits you a couple times. Like as you pick him up, he like kicks you in the shins. Ah, my shins. And then you just throw him out the window behind his friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a small pile of people ending up outside this window.

Billy has a move that allows him to act very quickly. So is Billy doing anything? Oh, shoot first. Yeah, of course. I put some oil of tagget on my daggers and I just go and cut some ankle tendons. Oh my God. Some Achilles heels. Okay. Yeah, they're going to need some serious surgery. Holy shit. So is Billy sneaking up on a particular person? There's two guys who were like kind of leaning out the window like, oh shit. And I cut their ankles. Oh my God. Yeah. Huh. So I did. Nine. Roll your damage.

Four. Okay. Yeah. So that is you just sneak up behind this guy and you slice his leg with the oil of tagget. Sure do. And he goes, and then he just slumps down on the ground. Bye. Snoring lightly. And kiss him. Sleep tight. Good night, sweet prince. And his friend looks down and is like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, you're next, bud. Little kid with a knife. You know, like I feel like most of them didn't even see Billy. No, they don't talk.

You look over and you see Billy get grabbed by the scruff of his shirt by this Crystal Bay Rock pirate. I take the table that we were sitting at and I lift it and I throw it at the largest group of them. Okay, cool. So yeah, that's like a defy danger strength. Strength is two is six. Can I help? Oh, he only got a six. Yeah. So you can eat him for sure. Yeah. Maybe we pick it up together and we throw it together. Yeah, for sure. So 2d6 plus bond three tables a lot heavier than it was. Yeah.

So I believe that you both failed. So you get you both get an experience point. Yeah. So it is a thing where I like I kick it over and I'm like, or no, I'm tuck. I'm like table and then we both go to lift it and it's just table. Yeah, it's nailed to the floor. It's oh, yeah, we like try and push it. We both like oh, once you do that, the group of Crystal Bay Pirates that work you were going to throw them at just dive over the table on both of you and start beating the shit out of you.

How many you said the largest group probably for yeah, six people. Yeah. So there's three on each of you just wailing on you. So give me another d6 and this one's going to be plus two six. Yeah. So you take eight total and they're just like raining punches down on you. I am a running pretty low on HP. Yeah. Yeah. What do you have? Oh, I have three left. Whoa. No, there's no way that lost 21 in this fight, but we haven't rested. You've had multiple nights of full rest.

No, the last though I lost a bunch of HP when those rocks were hitting me from the beach and then they fight game in the spa that wasn't restful. Oh, yeah, I think I lost. Okay. Yeah, talk just hasn't had the opportunity to rest. Yeah, so I'm seeing the light leave text like we're both getting well done and looking over in between punches running is a thing that you can do. How many people are left? There are seven left. There's three on you three on thing and then one has Billy by the scrub.

I was I don't know. I feel like a crazy explosive. Oh, shapeshift might what if I came here up? Yeah, like like this is it's been a long time since being a shapeshifted to just thinking of like just popping into like just going crazy and shapeshifting, but it'll be really sloppy and kind of a mix of a bunch. Oh, yeah. So wait, how does your animal companionship work? I don't know. Do you turn into a Thunderbird or do you know Thunder? Yeah, it's a companion of mine.

Oh, yeah, and it's this is just begun. So it could eventually be like his actual animal companion. Yeah. Yeah, but right now it's like he has visions of it once in a while because he marked it with the water from the Sea of Graves. Yeah. Is this the moment to try maybe while he's getting pummeled? He's seeing. Oh, yeah. Totally like Thor. When Thor's getting the ship beaten out of him by the Hulk. Yeah, totally. Ragnarok and he's like seeing stuff. Yeah, exactly.

You're having flashes of like clouds and pillars and like fights with other Thunderbirds and lightning and storm clouds. And then he just transforms into a polar bear with Thunderbird wings tight. Yeah. And crystal hands and like a weird antlers. He's got antlers on there too. And he's got doing every snake tail. He has a snake tail. Whoa, the butter the face part. Yeah. His penis is a Arctic chair penis. Nine. Sick. So you get one hold from this. Yeah. And I murder all the guys. Sick.

So it's just this group of people are just wailing on you over and over again. And then suddenly there's a massive polar bear in the middle of the room. Huge like storm gray wings, antlers, crystal paw, crystal paws, flaring gills, rock hard char, the fog of the sea of graves pours from the gills and his rock hard fish dick is there. Snake tail and a white snake tail. And it is a terrifying sight to behold. And is your is the hold that you're using to like scare the shit out of all these. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And beat them with my wings like so Sean in the face, by the ways I imagine like when they beat their wings, it's like a thunderclap. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like it shatters people's ears. Yeah. The one that's the one that's holding Billy like is starting to pick Billy up is just like pushed sideways out of the broken window. Yeah. Bye, bitch. Billy hits. Oh, yeah.

Like a sack of rice and the ones that got thrown off thing just run and the other ones that were on tuck also just fucking are covering their ears. There's like blood pouring out of their eardrums and shit like that. And most of them just start running. Cool. More like the crystal butt pirates. High five. He says as a polar bear. Yeah, they're all starting to run like one. The one that built was holding Billy got kicked out the window. Can I chase them? Oh, yeah. Okay, I'm going. Yeah.

So what's Billy trying to do? He's gonna throw daggers. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, Billy's just like I'm gonna kill them. I'm just mad. Yeah. I got seven. So then yeah, roll your damage. Seven. Oh, yeah. You just fucking kill. You throw a knife and you miss because you're so mad. And then the other one just nails them and they're they hit. Are you killing them? Yep.

Then yeah, it hits him and like in the base of the skull and he just crumples into the bar and the right sweet prince and the rest run out of the room. Sick. And the other one that was asleep on the ground is now like groggily trying to be like what the fuck is happening. So there's one of the crystal bay pirates is still here. And the bartender gets up covering his ears and he's like, you need to go. What? Get out of here. He's terrified. He's staring at this massive polar bear monster.

We will leave. Yeah. Okay. So I grab Allison by the arm because I know that she did this. Uh-huh. And I'm like, we're going now because wherever you want to go, shut the fuck up. And I grab the the sleepy butt pirate. Oh, yeah. Okay. Drag him out to. Wow. What a fucking question. Terrifying. As a polar bear. Yeah. And I turned to Dina. I'm like, call me. And Dina's like, what? She's got both of her hands on her ears. Everyone's dead. Snake kisses. Snake tail kisses her on the cheek.

She is not into that. No. And you're gone. Dina stays behind. Yeah. So where is there somewhere nearby that we could have like a quiet conversation? Let's go to a quiet beach rock. Yeah. Yeah. There's lots of beach. And the beach dwell was already sort of on the edge. Of any super populated part of town. And it's sunset. I mean, it's been sunset for a while, but everybody's milling about elsewhere.

So you take her down to the beach and you drag her further down the beach and you get to this part where it's pretty quiet. There's no one nearby. There's no houses and it's just like the ocean, the sand, and then it goes up to like a high cliff with like grass at the top. Like there's a field at the top of this cliff, but here you're secluded and you're alone. Are the crystals in the ocean doing anything?

They're reflecting the light from the sunset and they're sort of casting these moving lights. These like undulating patterns on the cliff behind you. Prismatic. Cool. Yeah. Sick. Yeah. Which is illuminating bits of crystal in the rock itself. Like it's a very glittery area that you find yourself in. Bing's crying. Sorry. Bing's crying? Yeah, he's crying. Why? Because he feels so guilty for making bear and snake and char and thunderbird. Yeah. And elk. He's just like, yeah, it hurts.

He's just having a moment with it. Yeah. And it just makes him really mad. Yeah. As a butt pirate. As a crystal pirate. They're butt pirates now. So yeah, I just kind of like toss Allison. I've just been dragging her and I've been quiet because I've been really mad and like thinking about what I wanted to say and I just like toss her on the sand and I was like what the fuck was that? I'm sorry. I really am sorry. I'm sorry about that. You put all of us in danger. This isn't okay anymore.

Like I have a family now. I've just I've never I haven't been like Billy's a kid. Bing has not transformed in months and look at them. Look at what you did. I'm a monster. I'm a murderer. Billy's fake. Yeah. Yeah. He's just laughing. Now. I knew you could handle it. No, this is too much. I agree. I haven't had this long an opportunity to feed in my entire existence. This is the strongest I've ever been.

It's to the point where I don't even the smallest gesture can set off of a feeding frenzy wherever I go, but I knew that you could handle it. You wanted to take care of me, didn't you? Tacoma? I don't want you, but I have a pretty hard erection right now. The fight is kind of turning Tacoma. She stood up. She's like brushing sand off of her like long pale legs. The light from the crystals is glittering off her skin. This is such an uncomfortable situation. Yeah.

So you think you're telling me that you're not interested in having any part of me now, but you've released an almost universally popular single that's being heard. Heard in towns across the principalities. You think that I wasn't going to find you? You think that I wasn't going to follow the clues? You knew I would find you. You knew that I needed you. For what? Come on, Tacoma. I was banished. He's touched his boner into his waistband. And it's peeking at the door. Disgusting. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I don't know what he's gonna do with it. He's trying to have a conversation. Such an old school solution. He has his hand over it. Yeah, he's trying to be modest. He's holding an algebra book over it. Come on, Tacoma. Think. I was banished for two years, and now I'm back. You think that the priest that banished me was just gonna give up? I'm being followed. I'm being tracked. I knew you were the only person that could help me, and then I found myself here in Crystal Bay.

And I can't leave. What do you mean you can't leave? I have tried. I can't find the will to leave here. I think I've been trapped. By what? And, Abdul, this is a question I have for you. What is, like, the group within the Church of the Flame that traditionally banishes demons called? I guess the Lightguard? Pretty sick. Is this a Spout Lore roll, do you think? Yeah, this could be a Spout Lore, for sure. Yeah. Holy shit. Eleven plus… What? Intelligence. Eleven. Alright. Eleven plus eleven.

Spectacular. Well, you still got an eleven, so that's wonderful. On a ten plus on Spout Lore, the GM will tell you something interesting and useful about the subject relevant to your situation. The religion of flame organizes the world into two sections. There's, like, the light and the dark, and the dark is the outer dark, where, like, demons and hungry ghosts and all that bullshit live. And the outer dark is where, like, dead stars die and go to the outer dark.

And when demons die, they end up going to the outer dark. Like, there are, like, entities in the world that get drawn to, like, this other half of the universe when they die. So, the Lightguard exists to separate the outer dark from the world that we live in, which is, like, the world of the flame. Mm-hmm.

So, the religion of the flame and the Lightguard, they think it's their duty to make sure that the two worlds are always separate, which is why the Lord of the Flame burned out that ocean, because people think the salt flats are, like, a seal, kind of separating the two worlds. Oh, cool. Yeah. Which is also why the salt flats are called the Broken Shores. Mm-hmm. Because they're the shores on the edges of the two worlds. Right. Cool. Awesome. That's great. That's really good stuff.

Do I get a point for that? No, that's not an elevator move. Take it back. Take it back. I take all of that back. It's not canon. Cut it out. I am deleting this file. Good luck. So, yeah, that was a spell, Lord. So, yeah, Allison says, the Lightguard is looking for me. They've tracked me here. I think there are others stuck you by in Crystal Bay right now. They've trapped us all here. The Coronet might be connected. It's been sunset for over two weeks. I don't know how they did it.

They shouldn't have this much power. This is impossible. But we're all here. We can't leave. And the Lightguard is coming. What can we do? Save me. How? Kill them. And that's where we're gonna end it for this week. My name is Sean O'Hara. I'm your Game Master. With me, as always, playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. Playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdulaziz. So long. Playing Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Take care.

Thanks to Aaron Reid for the intro and outro music. Thanks to Wes for all the technical work. Abdul for all the editing. And thanks to our Patreon supporters for supporting the show. We really appreciate that. We've been playing Dungeon World by Adam Coble and Sage Latoura, which you can find online wherever you get your RPGs from. And if you want to find Spout Lore on social media, we're at Spout Lore in most places. Should be pretty easy to find at this point. Yeah, you fucking idiots.

You dumb pieces of shit. You keep asking, where do I find you? That was a weird, that became Scottish. Marble. You dumb pieces of shit. Here we go. I had an idea for anyone that's making stuff on the internet. What if there's a website that has an account on it where you can put your profile and you just describe everything that you do and you put links to all the stuff that you do on there. It's called MSN Messenger. Find us. We are at Spout Lore.

Backslash IceDragon6969 at MSN Messenger.ca There are a lot of IceDragon6969s. We're the one with the Bright Eyes song lyrics in our bio description. See you on MSN, everybody. Have a good night. Bye-bye. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3 who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be, for time suppressed in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution.

Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores.! I'm going to the! I'm going to the! I'm going to the! I'm going to the! I'm going to the!