Episode 12 – Break In

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to I'm your game master Sean O'Hara And joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz Hello Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers Hey there Playing Fappily the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hi When last we left our heroes There was a good old fashioned punch-em-up in an alleyway Big takeaways from the fight with the Lightguard Tuck got fucked up I almost died Almost died But I also totally fucked up Fatim Did you ever I took out one of his eyes I took out one of his eyes Pretty much by accident I felt really bad For sure When he did it he apologized Ving attempted to use his mastery over the elements to throw some brickwork Catastrophe over the elements Basically collapsed a building With Cash still inside before he was rescued by Billy the Halfling Thief And then you escaped with the help of Shia the Garden Snake Who took you to their chambers in the garden snake?

To their chambers in the Siddel grounds in the lower ward And after discovering how beautiful it was and how much she lives in comfort and safety Her and Tuck had some words Yeah Tuck kinda like lost it Yeah Sort of a breakdown Yeah and there was a lot of discussion of the hardships they experienced and why they are justified in feeling the way they feel But Shia kinda seems like a shitty person Yeah she kinda does She's got this rich kid mentality that affects a lot of people She's got this rich kid mentality that affects a lot of the ways that she thinks And we ended that conversation with Billy deciding to try and bridge the divide by bringing Shia into a magically linked memory sharing chain Using Chamberlain's Rings In which we saw some memories of how hard Billy had it How hard Tuck had it And some tough times from Shia's childhood as well Yeah it's pretty complicated Yeah super sad Yeah Yeah And that is where we join ourselves now with Ving sitting quietly in Shia's bedroom as Cash sleeps Classic Oh hey guys you doing a cool thing?

It's over here chillin' with a wolf We were playing tic tac toe On the steamy window Squeak X Yeah And yeah so Billy is linking the hands of Shia to Tuck And you all sort of come out of this memory sharing Yeah I abruptly let go of you guys of Shia and Tuck And I'm just like look you guys are like the fucking same Just stop fighting Everyone's life sucks Ugh And I just go kick the balcony Nothing happens No of course not it just goes pat Billy take a breath So Tuck he's like not it's not totally fair though It's not it's not totally resolved for him Like he's like still mad but he understands gets it He gets it like Shia's fucked up too Like she had a hard time It's not super cut and dry Like rich people aren't the enemy maybe But maybe they are I don't fucking It's complicated Yeah But he's like okay I understand kind of And he uh looks at Shia and he's like I'll fucking hold it together it's fine Uh Billy you feel a little flutter Uh next to your ear Oh I catch a little bookworm Yeah Oman lands on your finger You're back What do you have to tell us?

The papery wings on him unfurl And you see delicate writing on the wings Oh shit I can't read Ving Yeah I'm sorry Oh What does it say? What's it say here? It's from Perel And it says is it safe? I'm good Farah teaching me silent word Should I come meet you?

Oh he should not meet us No he can't come here They I didn't really think about it But I guess the light guard really want him And uh he Oman furls in the wing that had the writing on it And unfurls his other wing which is blank And kind of flaps it a couple times Aww Hmm okay we gotta send a message back I grab a pen from the table behind me Here you go Ving Uh yeah he writes a letter back to him that he can't come to where we are And that he needs to stay put right?

What else do we want to tell Perel?

We're hiding In the palace In the palace Gonna plan how to like infiltrate the light guard or the hearth or whatever Yeah And that we have to tell him not to go home Oh yeah That we are all wanted And he probably knows that Stay put they're looking for you And that yeah the safest place for him is probably the library And you know like when you're like writing something down like on a birthday card And you start running out of room Yeah And things like running like cause you're just trying to get a lot of information on this moth's wings Flip Oman over right on the back of the wing Yeah Uh great yeah and he unfurls both his wings The writing that Perel sent you see is now gone Ooh And he just goes Bye forgot to kiss you but Thank you Be safe And he goes back to the sky and is gone And Shia is just like so we're hiding out sleepover Right Yeah Um so we just got a message from our friend Perel who he met Oh yeah bald guy Yeah Yeah skinny dweeb Yeah um so he's he's hiding at the Murghoni library Oh I feel like you should not have told me that Oh wait keep secrets I keep secrets that just seems like I've never I've never been there sorry anyways um so speaking of the library we promised the lady who owns it that we would do I don't know how to keep do I keep it a secret you guys I feel like we should tell her yeah we probably have to tell her okay well I mean if we're going to talk business we should get some lunch yes yeah yes good flash forward you're sitting in the arboretum around a very beautiful table that's been set up with food pinkies up yes what's every give me everybody give me one food item abdul uh tux eating a six inch party sub fucking hell what it's a submarine sandwich wait a six inch party that's so funny it's cut into a lot of tiny pieces usually only two inches long uh uh ving's eating a bowl of ice cream with a bunch of accoutrements and peppermint swirls on it hell yeah he's eating some feelings jessica billy's eating another six inch party the other half of the foot long yeah cash is there he's also eating six inch party sub and uh so shia shia's like thing you don't want you don't want in on any of this three foot party sub there's one foot left I'll have a bite okay great so what's this uh what's this business that you're doing I'm doing a business that you're doing I'm doing a business that you're doing I'm doing a business that you're doing I'm doing a business that you're doing I'm doing a business that you guys want and she jams so much of that sandwich in her mouth she does the guy fieri bite where she hooks her bottom teeth on it and then swings her mouth over and she's a snake like a huge bite yeah oh impressed yeah pretty good huh text kind of impressed too but for different reasons you spend enough time as a snake you know how to get a lot of stuff in there uh so what is this uh what's this job you guys are doing um basically farrah um my name is billy and I'm the founder of the business called the organic wants us to break into the hearth and steal someone back for her whoa her grandpa yeah whoa trying to take down part of the light guard in the process whoa that's yeah that's maybe a little bit of our own agenda yeah because they're kind of bad guys actually yeah that's fucking tight and cash is just sitting there wide-eyed looking at all of you you're gonna what we're gonna break into the hearth and fuck up the light guard I don't need to come with you right dude you're like the biggest liability yeah you are not invited no offense I agree hey none none taken thank you so much I'm gonna take this to the room and he picks up the party sub and he leaves he grabs two more feet of party yeah he grabs the remaining feet and leaves wow okay breaking into the hearth that's exciting I like that okay uh do you know anything about the hearth uh just that it is near impregnable we got some information on it oh yeah um so apparently there's a cart of bread that comes in uh I think in the morning and night and that's like that's one time that they open the gates yeah and we can hide in it maybe we also heard about the the we know the changing of the guard okay a midnight right every six hours every six hours midnight uh daytime midnight and a few days later we can go to work night and then the other two okay that's good information good information and then we have surveillance too surveillance tuck looks at vang um have you ever been out to the the moth cave no cavern no on the east the east cavern what's in there lunar moths oh that's where they sleep the hall of the king of moths wow that is so cool can I need you to teach me how to talk to animals we'll see okay all right that's I like this this is fun uh okay so you know I really want you to convince me to break into the hearth but it sounds like too much fun so I am in yes 100 sick I would yeah it really just seems like the kind of thing that I sent me into right away so no problems there uh the cart thing I don't love I'll tell you that much because like if you're gonna hide in a cart full of stuff and if they're worried about people sneaking in first place they're gonna check is the cart full of stuff sure maybe if we put a little bit of your paralyzing venom in the bread when it went out to the guards interesting interesting except for the fact that venom needs to enter the bloodstream you ingested does nothing oh no yeah that's a cool idea though I have a shit ton of other poisons do you have anything that people can eat and then get sleepy sleepy time poisons oh yeah you think you do the kind of stuff that I do and sleep comfortably through a night no sirree I just imagine like we think we're gonna go to the solarium but she just takes us to the medicine cabinet she's like yeah tylenol pm yeah this shit makes you drowsy uh yeah so that would be that would be step one is find a way to poison the bread if that's what you want to do that's a great plan really wait for the changing of the guard probably when people have meal time yeah and then not everybody's if I had to guess Sean O'Hara if Sean O'Hara had to guess not everybody's gonna eat the bread but a lot of people will so like there won't be no resistance but there if it was successful there would be way less resistance which is a really great idea so I'm gonna go to the medicine cabinet and I'm gonna go to the so the goal I guess would be to go to the east wind trading company talk to whoever manages the shipments or at least like sneak in and poison their stock or go to the bakery and poison the bread there oh we could get the ragamuffins they hang out by the bakery oh yeah um so we want to take that and then we need to basically sync up when the bread gets there to like the changing of the guard which I imagine is similar times and then that's a great idea yeah I'm gonna go to the That way we could maybe like get, we got to plan how to get in.

Yeah. I imagine that they went like the changing of the guard. It was like a breaking of the bread as well. And they would, the people coming on would bring the bread. They would eat the bread at this changing. And then they would discuss the, like what they need to, it's like a shift change. Yeah. That's really interesting actually. Yeah. I think like dinner time basically. Yeah, dinner time. You get your fresh bread. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Share it with the person that you're taking over for.

Use that opportunity to discuss the night's doing. Yeah. It's a cool little ceremony thing. Oh yeah. Like the person coming gets a loaf and then cracks it. You get half. We talk over the course of eating this and then you fuck off. Yeah. Yeah. There's a phrase in town called changing the guard if you want to go out for dinner with somebody. Oh cool. That's great. Do we also have to figure out where they would be keeping Amma? Oh yeah. Yeah. Totally. Yeah.

Which I don't know if there would really be a way to do that except get in there. Get in there. Yeah. Yeah. And then yell. But it's somewhere until they tell us. Should we wait to hear back from Perel about some stuff? Because he's in the library now. Can he find anything structural? Ooh. Interesting. About the hearth? Oh yeah. Because he's in the library. Can he maybe find something about the hearth? I mean Oman could like. We could have just added that to Oman.

Well he comes back to you, right? Like he stays with you most of the time. So he'll come back. Yeah. So that whole message that you guys send, Oman comes back hours later and you're like finally Perel's reply. Yeah. And he unfurls his. And then he's like, wait a minute. It just says K. K. That's good. And then Oman thinks he can sleep. But then we're like, we need you to do one more thing. And he's just like. Tuck looks at the terse response and he's like, him and Fer are fucking for sure.

Oh my God. Perel's definitely going for the 70 year old lady. Is Tuck all jealous now? No. It's kind of like, he's like, oh, it's like my uncle fucked my English teacher. It's kind of nice. Because you're like aware that they're both. Only. Good for you both. Yeah. Good for both of you. I might get a good grade out of this. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So you're sending back a message like, hey, can you learn anything about. About the architecture of the hearth and anything we need to know. Any secrets.

Great. So she's like, okay. So to recap the plan, she's pointing at a whiteboard. To recap the plan. Go to the Eastwind Trading Company or the bakery. Poison the bread before the changing of the guard. Synchronize the infiltration with the changing of the nighttime guard. Yes. Wait until they eat the bread and hopefully pass out. Get in and then find wherever they're keeping. Ama. Ama. Yeah. Break them loose. And then question mark, question mark, question mark. Oh, fuck.

We didn't figure it out. I mean, presumably back the way we came. Yeah. Skin of our teeth. Yeah. We'll get it. Yeah. I, how about this? Does it, if you, if you give me your blessing, I'm going to kind of be like a, like a floater. I'm going to be out there on my own. I'm going to be in there doing my thing. This is what I do. Can you clear a path on our way out? You better believe it. Cause you know what?

They are either going to see the garden snake or they're going to see a big ass snake and either way, they're not going to be prepared. So I should be able to clear you a way out once you get, once you get Ama. Thank you. Uh, okay. So yeah, that's the plan. Cool. Okay. We'll wait for Perel, your friend to send back whatever information he can find on the hearth. Yes. And then we'll rest. Right. She looks at you each in turn. We will rest. Yeah. Billy's already asleep.

Uh, party sub spread down the front of his shirt. Swammies. He ate more feet of party sub than there are feet in the total length of his body. Yeah. Yeah. Big and I are like looking at him while he's like snoozing. And then he climbed into a drawer and we're just like, no, this is party. So what is that? That's Burgum fruit. Where the fuck did he get that? Oh, I have a bush of Burgum fruit. Yeah. Oh God. He's going to have diarrhea. I wish you would have told us that.

You know what is actually kind of fun. I've been messing with them myself. Cause you know, Burgum fruit or indigenous to McCall. These are actually double bacon cheese, Burgum fruit. Oh, whoa. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. It's a Wendy's variety. So it's square patties. Yeah. These ones are square.

Where ones they're just like cubes.

I don't cut any corners you know what I mean alright so we're gonna do a Spout Lore to figure out what's going on with the hearth yeah to determine if Perel's gonna be able to give you something good useful information okay so we're all napping or something Billy's fallen out of the desk still asleep and then I wake up to Amon landing on my nose that's exactly what I was gonna say there's a little worm on your nose yeah oh you're back yeah I take him I waddle over to Ving who's sleeping with his head on the wolf Ving wake up turn the heat up Amon's back can you read it what did Perel say and he unfurls so yeah I'm just wondering whose intelligence we want to use considering this is Perel do you use wisdom for Spout Lore I can if it's historical which the hearth is a building is historical historical means events who's got cause if it's if you say that it's a building is historical like we could make the justification that literally anything is historical Perel sent us back pages from famous prison break where someone broke out of the hearth okay I like that okay so that means that you get to Spout Lore and you get a plus one in addition to your intelligence no you roll wisdom instead of intelligence I roll wisdom instead of intelligence alright 2d6 plus wisdom Spout Lore oh nice 9 oh I will aid cause Billy can't read I guess this is shuffling through papers yeah Tuck is gonna aid cause he it's like the pages are in McCollin so he's gonna help translate some of the more nuanced aspects totally 7 okay great perfect wonderful so yeah they're going like these will reveal to you a weakness that previous escapees took advantage of and that weakness is if the underground prison is basically like cells dug out of solid stone what if there's like a crack yeah they've tried to patch it but it's a weak spot okay or waters grounded out a little bit yeah where does the crack open into a cave yeah okay into a cave and the cave leads out to I mean the shores makes sense yeah oh maybe that's why like people don't really break out is cause the only place to go is the broken shores where there are salt zombies and fucking like if you go out to the broken shores you're gonna be dehydrated and dead in like a day yeah okay cool so that is your potential exit strategy or is that how you're gonna get in I was thinking exit strategy cool it also lets us know where the prison cells are it confirms that they are underground totally yeah absolutely so you know that that's probably where Ama's being kept and maybe it's like in the histories like people talk about how like terrible the prisons were because the walls were made out of salt like so it's like a dehydrating effect also like what if they what if they like would torture prisoners sometimes and so like their wounds yes you're resting on the salt the tortures were like painful but minimum but then also you on top of that you're just writhing in salt all the time yeah it's like every abrasion just hurts so much burn you yeah content warning yeah for torture yeah okay yeah so that's what you learn you learn that legends say stories tell of an exit that empties out onto the broken shores which people do not use because that is hell yeah and yeah literally the hell of the religion of the flame yeah that's hell to McCollins so that is what you know you know the plan what now we gotta execute you right well you rest for a day oh yeah and a sun rises and sets on the hidden home of the garden snake and first plan poison the bread are you going to the Eastman trading company or are you going to the bakery I kind of go to the bakery yeah I think that makes sense okay do you guys want to do this yourselves or do you want to potentially outsource it to the ragamuffins I was gonna go meet up with the ragamuffins perfect so yeah Shia takes you out through the like the secret entrance that she took you in through and something to consider is that after that fight you are like wanted wanted there's gonna be people on the street actively searching for you when maybe we are in disguise yeah let's just say it's disguise let's say it's like you leave the grounds and there are like groups of light guard patrolling the street more than usual and you're actually see wanted posters with your faces on them that's not what we look like yeah they're really unflattering I'm not that guys because they made tuck look really fat guys be honest with me I didn't bulk this much right I mean no no you look great and then tuck takes his belly and he pushes all the fat in and he's like these are abs still right yeah those are abs I think they're abs he forces a bunch of folds in there look it's like an eight pack right if anything we should be glad that the poster looks nothing like us this can only help us amateurs my hair's not gray right guys you don't have gray hair and additionally the wanted posters say wanted for heresy and the bounty for each of you is a thousand coins oh my god we should turn ourselves in that's not a bad idea yeah uh uh you know what actually not that wouldn't be a bad break-in plan oh that's like 200 days of work I kind of like the idea if you were to offer yourselves up turn yourselves in somehow Shia offers us up yeah totally great idea in her like I'm not the garden snake look yeah and you could still do the bread thing because that would still potentially knock out guards yeah it's pretty good because we didn't have a way in we only have a way out yeah that's true this is fucking slick sick we see the poster we have our way in yeah yeah yeah yeah!

Perfect and Shia is with us and she's like you sure that's a good idea? We've had way dumber ways of getting into places dumber ways than offering yourselves up to be imprisoned in the most impregnable fortress on the continent? You'd be surprised yeah it's pretty good and plus that way we don't have to walk there also you might get 3,000 coins ooh baby I'm gonna throw it right in the desert whoa now what's wrong with you?

I haven't learned anything it's been like 10 hours you're asking me to change 65 years of development now I'm like in 10 hours I was gonna I don't know about giving 3,000 coins to the kids but that might be oh wow Jesus no that sounds that'd be bad for them I am going to buy a business that's bad for the economy of Nicole yeah um cool that's a plan yeah that's a great plan yeah cool I like that okay so still poison the bread yeah so we slink around and like alright guys get in get in into where?

Into the opening under the under the bakery oh we're shoving ourselves back into this yeah I don't know any other way in yeah and all the ragamuffins are there hey everyone who are you?

It's me Billy I take my hood down oh Billy I didn't recognize you with your hood up right yeah and also he's clean so I took take some like shit and just smudge your face I don't want that whoa Billy you're so clean now I know I took a bath wow yeah it was nice wow there's like a rolling wow through the kids um so uh wear a dress like this in disguise cause um I don't know if you saw posters there's a lot of posters looking for us yeah there was for you yeah they they did a bad job drawing everyone right yeah there was like a big guy big big fat guy with big belly and there was a scarecrow looking man and there was a little dog I didn't think that you were the little dog are you a dog?

No okay cool I don't think so I look at myself I'm like no I'm not a dog oh okay so you're hiding you need to hide out with us uh no we need you to help us out so we have this poison so don't eat it don't eat it okay you said poison I'm not gonna eat poison um and we need you to dump this into the bread pile that goes to the light guard okay great this is a connections roll for sure okay so uh 2d6 plus charisma seven holy shit yeah just so seven and nine on connections means you get something close to it are there strings attached you'll have to settle for something close to it or it comes with strings attached okay um I'll take something that's just close okay cool all right and we will decide what that is at a later date okay all right so the bread deal is on so that's happening the only thing that's left is for you to turn yourselves in I'm really scared you guys don't be they want us alive I hope oh yeah can we double check the poster I have the criminals ah great shake oh no hold them down oh Jesus is there anything we want to do before we go into jail I mean I stalk I got I stocked myself up on throwing knives and weapons so as you guys are like preparing to get turned in Shia's like have you guys been to prison before yes yes we've been in jails I think so is there a difference between jail and prison there is legally but we don't need to get into it this is technically more prison than jail this is actually more of like a black site than a prison or a jail um so when you were imprisoned or jailed did they take all your weapons yes they're probably gonna do this again no okay keep in mind shit you hang on to the spear then I will I'll keep it safe I think I'm still gonna take TLC cause I would rather have TLC in there somewhere than just not have it at all okay I see smart I just grabbed some rocks from the ground just like just start shoving them into your butt Billy what it's nature's pocket what are you doing what else do you have in there oh my god nothing okay good you gotta stop you gotta stop eating rocks one two don't shove them up your butt I'll never stop eating rocks uh okay yeah great so they'll just I'll just turn you in yeah they'll take all your stuff I need like a I need like a character right I can't just be Shia and I can't just be the garden snake I can't do my like it's me I'm here to turn in these criminals um we could do a thing where uh we like pretend to fuck up and like pretend to get caught yeah oh yeah instead of like her having to be like hey I'm a bounty hunter I got these guys which is kind of suspicious and weird yeah we could just be in a room in a shitty hotel and then she could just go tell them hey I think those three fugitives are in this room in this shitty hotel yeah cool yeah so you go to uh you're just gonna stay in a shitty hotel it's called like the moat yeah it's called the moat and it's like clapboard shit it's in the sticks it's just trash and uh it costs like one coin a night you're just sitting in this room for one it's got a straw mat on the ground and in the middle of the night that you hear the banging of boots like coming up the stairs what do you do we gotta pretend like we don't know they're coming I'm pretty scared act casual yeah yeah so uh just gonna just gonna stand in the corner and barf pretty casual alright so the yeah the light guard um like a unit of light guard like eight of them burst into your room what are you doing we don't need housekeeping thank you Billy pees himself oh no guys I think it's the light guard no oh no now we're gonna get arrested they're not even paying enough attention to think about what you're doing they just pile on tuck fuck start beating the shit out of them whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa stop hitting him somebody grabs Billy so yeah somebody grabs Billy by the scruff of the neck as you're slapping their legs you take it easy on that kid yeah I keep slapping he holds you out at arm's length I'm gonna get you manacle slapped on Ving's wrist and he puts his other wrist up you forgot one asshole manacle slapped on other wrist and tuck is like trying to pretend to put up a fight and he's just like hugging all the guys on him he's like oh no you're too strong taking them and pulling them off yeah he's like grabbing more people taking their fists ow ow fuck and he's like punching himself in the face and he's like I know I'm so hurt we're like you get them all off of him you animals I've been so crying so hard cause you hurt me man sounds like unbowed unbent unbroken oh yeah gosh you're tough they're actively actually trying to hurt you okay so 2d6 was constitution uh 8 9 10 11 there you go uh so what happens on an 11 on a hit you either take half damage or you can completely ignore the other I'll effect on a 10 plus you can also defeat expose or frustrate your oppressor with your stubbornness okay yeah I think that means that they they whoop your ass uh well they think they are so roll a roll a d10 oh no sorry oh fuck there you go that's one that's one yeah that's a percent it's a percentile die that's very confusing I literally don't know why they put the zeros cause it's a percentile you roll two at the same time and then it gives you a percentage Jessica fell asleep while I was talking she fucked right off don't worry I am used to this when people ask me about my hobbies uh I have one armor too yeah so they're whooping the shit out of you and you are not hurting at all yeah and they're by you know defeat frustrate or whatever they arrest you yeah and they drag you away and it feels by the frustrate they're like yeah we got him but they kind of feel like they didn't earn it like they didn't we got him yeah uh and they strip you of your possessions they're trying to high five each other and they're really weak high five like hey guys we did we did it is there a way I can hide some stuff in my hair that they don't find uh yeah I'd give you a defy danger dexterity to like hide one thing on your body and it could be the kind of stuff where like they'll as they're like patting you down basically you're subtly moving it around your body so they're not touching it cool is that a trick of the trade no you just need to hide it actually that sounds like it would be a tricks of the trade kind of thing um you're like basically pickpocketing yourself yeah reverse pickpocket so cool should I keep a a knife or a slingshot can I can I make a suggestion yes your lockpick oh oh yeah you're going to jail that's a good idea your copper pin plus dexterity yeah seven okay so on a seven to nine with tricks of the trade you still do it but the GM will offer you two options between suspiciousness suspicion danger and cost so I think it's going to be suspicion and danger you choose one oh uh suspicion whatever okay cool so what that is is uh they pat you down they take all your stuff uh and they take you downstairs and throw you in like a metal cart basically with uh bars on the side and they throw Billy in a little cage what and they lock him in separately why don't you hurt him that's our son you don't get to tell us what to do heretics and they slam the gate and you're just locked up in this cart guys it's okay it's okay we're still together should I get out of here will they know no no no they'll know they'll know you gotta stay in there it's so small in here I'm getting so sweaty Billy stop it no go to your croissant man go to your croissant buddy it's so hard to go to the croissant it's fine hey at least we don't have to walk there it's true and uh Bing and I are like and think about all the cool summer breezes that you have and then we start blowing on him it feels pretty nice yeah so we're just blowing on him to calm him down you hear bang bang bang stop breathing so hard in there eat shit and uh Billy language they slam on the brakes so Billy's cage flies forward and slams into a wall you fucking stooges you're gonna pay for that you're gonna pay for that and as they're driving through they're right they're taking the cart through town you hear like a bell ringing and you hear somebody definitely on the cart yelling out heresy heresy and people start going boo boo and there's like rotten vegetables coming through the cage what the fuck you're getting splashed with rotten food boo yourselves boo heretics you're like judgment judgment like all this really intense religious shit oh great yeah cast your stones you glass houses fuck you yeah you guys fuck you're ugly and as Tuck turns to say that he gets hit full on in the face by a rotten papaya fuck and after enough I can't have nightshade yeah you can't even wipe your face because they actually manacled your arms together in front of you they're basically just like like this like underneath your chin your fists are under your chin and your forearms are manacled together yeah it's very uncomfortable cool but they were like we gotta lock that dude's fucking arms down or he's gonna kill somebody and you get to the hearth you pass out of the like light of day into the dark of the gatehouse what time of day is it 3 p.m.

Oh yeah what time does the sun go down here 3 0 1 no what like 7 yeah 7 seems about right yeah so you got a few hours and as you leave sort of the ungated unofficial border of the lower ward you look through the bars of the cart that you're being kept in and you see in the quite near distance the wall that spans the entirety of the sunken harbor that the lower ward is situated in and at its center the hearth so what do we think that this this is the first time that we're actually seeing this so what do we think it looks like what if it was like modest long long!

And then over time sort of like the catholic church became more ornate oh right that's a great older stuff it's super simple and the newer stuff is like rococo yeah I like that that's really cool I had a thought too just aesthetically that some of it at least is like it could be very ornate if we want the woodwork to be but it's burnt like charred but still ornate some of it yeah and that's as a preservation technique you know it's a Japanese style of preserving wood and then also oh is charring it?

Yeah have you seen the charred houses? No that's so cool that's so cool that's really cool I also imagine it to be very sturdy like basically the great wall of China but going across the bay but you know sturdy yeah not like the great wall of China not like that piece of shit yeah like the better wall in China more like the wall of China yeah am I right guys? The wall of China yeah I will not take personal offense to this yeah whatever why would you?

Jesus Christ yeah so I think that the wall on either side is more we're not fucking around with the wall it's like solid cyclopean massive stone blocks uh huh yeah like all they're not yeah okay cool all the depth perceptions are all fucked up though they couldn't figure that out I imagine it like 40 feet high too like really tall oh like in Game of Thrones yeah totally yeah basically like the wall in Game of Thrones and the like oh the wall I was like what wall are you talking about?

The wall the wall capital T capital T capital T capital W the great wall of Game of Thrones and it's like when it opens like the doors are also that tall so it's like these giant like huge like they're 6 feet thick and then like we like the cart goes in I was imagining and then it closes with this like there's an opportunity for what the doors look like how they open oh yeah that's a powerful moment oh yeah I have an idea Jess has an idea well only cause probably I've probably done this before but the house in China that my dad has oh yeah so it's like one of those like super ancient Chinese houses where you have to crank the like the I don't know the chain the three story high doors open yeah it's this huge chain and that's how they open it they open slowly super thick doors it's like a fortress and they open inward like that?

They would I think defensively they would open towards the salt flats because they're trying to keep things out but those doors don't go to the salt flats right yeah doors on either side yeah so they would still open inward yeah cause you basically want two levels of door exactly between okay yeah so they open into the hearth yeah thick doors yeah and the rumble of the chains is loud like it sounds like each link of chain might be like as wide as a person you can hear individual like yeah yeah so the cart passes under the threshold of the interior gate of the hearth and the doors swing close behind you and slam shut the door and you're like oh my god oh my god plunging you into into the gloom of the interior with a finality that says you're not getting out what does it look like what do we see oh yeah so you look around what do you see of the interior I think personally that it's going to be a pretty stark contrast from the relative opulence of the outside the inside I think is probably a lot more oppressive right it's a because they're military basically yeah barrels lots of barrels ooh I think the inside is that old stone like there's not much of the fancy stuff and there's like torches that line the walls and in the center is like a great fire oh yeah oh so this is like inside is like a huge gatehouse uh huh like it's a big open area when you yeah of course it would be it's not like the gates are going to open into a tiny little hole yeah we're not in like a narrow hallway it's like got a lot of room yeah I was thinking a big courtyard yeah but the courtyard is totally enclosed so it's this big cavernous room wow I really like that that's why it's so dark because like the walls are so tall but it's even though it's so big it's such a weird feeling where it's like the middle of the day but it's the light gets lost yeah and it gets kind of cold because it's all old stone yeah ooh I wanted to say that I the barrels like there's a lot of barrels around and they're probably full of lamp oil yeah oh yeah and there's fire like the torches I really like the imagery of the torches like you look down to your left you look down to your right and like you see torches going all the way down into the distance yeah because it's both dark and like it's cavernous so eerie because fire light is it doesn't reach super far yeah so even though there's a lot of flame there's so many pockets of darkness and it's weirdly quiet in here yeah just that like of the sound of a torch yeah and the stone is kind of like it's thick but it's soft so it the footsteps are padded a bit it eats the sand yeah yeah yeah I like that and everyone's moving so slowly and so like kind of deliberately it's like pilgrimages to Mecca where it's like there's thousands of people here but nobody's talking it's weird solemn yeah I like it a lot military Mecca it is military Mecca basically yeah interesting cool very cool and you don't have much time to take in this towering structure before a thick bag is thrown over your head and they throw a big cloth over Billy's cage oh no and they you're like trying to feel where they're taking you and they take you on a very confusing route and you have no fucking idea where you are Tuck's trying to Sherlock Holmes it again okay I actually you know what so 2d6 plus intelligence so this is once we're in the hearth right yeah you're in the hearth you know that much but you they're doing it so you don't know if you're above ground below ground you know the worst cells are below ground but like who fucking knows where you're going okay yeah we're trying to I'm trying to Sherlock Holmes using my senses to feel it what is this 2d6 plus intelligence okay to defy danger oh shit 11 damn that might be the first time Tuck has ever succeeded at an intelligence based role hell yeah so good you're like using basically just your spatial awareness to remember the feeling of like descending ascending and you I'm smelling things I'm listening to things yeah you feel like you're you've been descending for a while after you wind back and forth in whatever circuitous route you can still tell you've gone down quite a ways and then they throw you in a cell they throw Ving in a cell and they throw Billy in a very small cell separate separate oh god yeah so you're you get the idea that you are very deep but if you had to guess you would say not the deepest okay but still very deep okay and you're all in cells alone total darkness are the bags off they took the bags off your head total darkness do they take TLC oh yeah they took those when they arrested you fuck yeah they took all of your shit when they arrested you except for Billy's lockpick in his hair um are the guards still down there actually just in realities 2d6 plus wisdom yeah eight yeah so you get one question what's here what is here that is useful or valuable to me uh so what is valuable to you is that you do hear you're like straining your little ears they're moving around like a dog and um you do hear boot steps away so you think what is useful to you is there are no guards outside your cell at this moment so if you were to try and escape you would be in like relative safely momentarily am I still bound oh yeah 100% oh shit can I try and just like break out of my my manacles defy danger strength to break your arms free okay uh 10 yeah you're able to like you hear like the creaking and then just bang as you snap it and then you snap the chains on your legs and you're able to move about freely they didn't hear that did they nope because the billy knows that there are no guards outside so nobody reacts to that momentarily I want to know what Ving's doing too uh yeah lick the wall to figure out what it is uh huh tastes like salt salt uh huh uh do I have manacles on you do yeah okay I'm gonna try I mean my own amulet move is to try and uh uh make needle this shackles into a pickaxe whoa elemental mastery but with metal oh it's iron shackles yes oh yeah totally yeah yeah yeah man with the iron fists oh yeah I was gonna say put them on as gauntlet fists yeah oh that's so cool that's a cool idea elemental mastery though and on a failure here we go ooh baby no failure's not in my vocabulary 26 plus constitution ooh nice ooh seven okay what's a seven to nine on elemental mastery uh I get to choose one the effect that desire comes to pass void paying nature's price retain control I kinda like the idea that you do that you're like bending the metal around you and trying to form it into a part of your body and it like latches on like both up both your arms and now both of your arms are just like coated in metal like the crystal like the crystal you're back here again is it in his body though or is it on top I think you're feeling like biting into your flesh ow kinda like it veined up a bit yeah totally oh and you're just covered in these like metal plates fuck wow and it hurts like a motherfucker actually give yourself a dextability if you think you can keep track of that if not we'll do something else yeah I can do that okay cool uh Billy yeah I will say this much uh you have that will-o-the-wisp move I know um I also have fairy child now mm-hmm mm-hmm this is a new day oh yeah um which I haven't rolled yet yeah can I do that now yeah so 2d6 plus charisma oh oh wow snake eyes shit you take one on a failure oh a failure is just you get one oh do I take a failure or anything yeah you still fail so you get the experience but you only get one point dang it I really needed that yeah okay um I also have a question do I have manacles or did they just throw me in they threw you in a cage they're like he's a little kid oh but also something's up with him that was the suspicion is they're like we gotta make sure he can't just move around anyway whatever I'm not worried I grab the pick from my hair mm-hmm and I go to unlock my cage uh are you doing this in the darkness or have you like in the darkness okay yeah so you're just feeling around yeah you feel the lock on the front yeah tricks of the trade 2d6 plus dexterity mm-hmm uh uh eight okay uh danger or cost um danger okay you feel the lock click on your cage and the little door swings open mm-hmm you got it you got this inside cage open you're out of your raccoon trap yeah uh but then you hear footsteps coming down the hallway oh shit yeah multiple footsteps actually you're like that's more than one person okay I I I go back into my cage but I don't lock it okay great yeah and um you hear like shunk and there's a little bit of light as a tiny little slit opens in the doorway mm-hmm and their their eyes peering in with like a lantern mm what do you want shut the hell up I didn't I didn't say anything what shunk oh fuck and then they walk over tuck you you hear the you hear people walking towards you so the so I can reach like the slit and stuff uh yeah you probably could okay and now there are footsteps in front of your cell shunk shutters open there's two pairs of eyes and a lantern I uh hork real hard and then spit out spit in his face whoa so disorient him with like this shitty move yeah you don't have to roll for that oh you just spit in his face this is maybe the worst thing I've ever done I think spit in somebody's face it's the most disrespectful thing I think you could do you literally gouged somebody's eye out earlier this today on accident yeah on accident it felt really bad yeah you severed your friend's connection to the thalmic field by accident by accident?

It was on accident again on accident this is intentional okay so I hork in his face ah what the fuck and then I yeah I want to use what are you waiting for uh when you cry out a challenge roll plus con on a 10 plus they treat you as the most obvious threat to be dealt with uh take plus two damage ongoing against them yeah so yeah I want to like bait him into coming here to try and beat me up because he thinks I'm still manacled uh no he can see you no I spat in his eyes oh no I can see you oh you're like as soon as he opened it I horked in his face oh I see gotcha yeah cool okay uh yeah roll it okay cool 2d6 plus constitution uh 710 damn oh yeah uh huge constitution I'm like you fucking light guard piece of shit you can't fucking do anything to me and you just hear keys rattling he's like oh you are gonna regret that heretic and you hear chunk chunk as he unlocks the door uh huh and uh the guy behind him is holding the lantern he's like make it quick uh oh we don't want to get busted doing this and uh he walks in and sees that you are unmanacled and goes wait hold on a second the guy behind him at that moment just drops to the ground and the lantern is just laying on the ground and he's like and the guy is just standing there in front of you his partner is now passed out uh he holds his hands up hold on and tuck just smacks him in the face really hard oh okay hack and slash well I failed mark experience what did you get 3 uh oh boy uh okay uh ving now that you've got this iron that's decided it's a part of your arms what do you do I guess he's inside there and he's so frustrated and he can hear tuck and he and he and he hears umna and then he hears bill and he's like I don't know what to do and he's still kind of traumatized for a collapse in that building and he just kind of like and like and he punches the door and he's like I didn't feel it I didn't feel a fucking thing so then he's just like bang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang that's cool I want I just want to defy danger strength that's cool as hell he goes fists of fury yeah what animal style are you using right now I am going kangaroo cheek god damn it no kangaroo oh holy shit damn nice uh I got a uh I'm gonna go with my strength is 11 yeah it's just multiple pits this and it starts the sound of it's like ting kong kong ting and then it starts like punching out from the inside sick yeah pong ting poong like the whole frame of the door like just starts like shifting yeah like struts are like popping off and then he puts his hands like open like face up in front of him and then he pulls them into his leg and then both of them boom from the waist yeah door flies off into the saltwater yeah and then he puts his hand like a ball directly across it travels like four feet and then hits a wall uh and you are free you see a little bit of light being cast at an angle from uh to your left the guy who's sleeping does he have keys uh yeah and you hear a commotion from inside as tuck is apparently fighting somebody yeah and billy uh so billy's gonna climb up to unlock his door okay tricks of the trade plus dexterity it doesn't matter five I am willing to say that you still get out but like stuff's gonna start popping off now like now you're in jailbreak mode you climb up you're feeling around you feel the lock yeah jam it in and you hear a little click and your door starts to swing open with you on it yeah I drop yeah and there's a light being cast you see ving standing there panting with metal arms yeah and you hear tuck in the cell next to you fighting somebody I sprint down to tuck yeah uh and ving and billy meet in front of tuck's cell there's a dude on the ground tuck's fighting somebody tuck what do you do okay I just missed yeah I think you hit him and he but he puts his guard up and takes the blow and you slam him into a wall uh-huh and he um roll a d6 five he gets a surprisingly good hit in like your ribs he punches you and it kind of hurts but you have an opportunity to give him a reprisal if you so choose I kind of I don't want to hurt him but I do want to lock him in the cell okay so I just like I want to kind of grab him by his clothes and then slam him against the back wall and get out and close the door okay divide and your strength five six seven okay you do that you grab him you just grab a handful of whatever he's wearing and throw him as far back as you can he hits the back wall with an oof and you can back out and billy and vinger there and you're standing on top of a guy that's on the ground basically yeah and I shut the door yeah and I shut the door yeah you feel him and then you're like oh my god I'm gonna die yeah you feel the guy start tugging on the door from the other side as they're trying to find the keys on the prone guard I want to pull it as hard as I can okay yeah divide into strength uh seven also okay billy and ving you find the keys like on his belt and you're able to oh my god oh my god which one is it as tuck is fighting with this dude on the other side of the door you lock it how big is the hallway really narrow it's like four feet wide tuck is like stooping basically mm-hmm and it's pretty long on either side let's go yeah yeah we bolt yeah and as you're running down you hear in the distance echoing down the hallway you hear wait stop and you turn behind you and you see a lone guard standing at the bottom with a lantern and he looks back up the stairs and yells jailbreak fuck and that's where we're gonna end it for this week shit I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz so long playing ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers take care playing fat billy the halfling thief jess gattai bye thanks as always forever to aaron reid for our amazing intro and outro music and thank you to you our beautiful susporters for supporting us around the world including patreon in which you gain access to a bunch of cool stuff including us just shooting the shit bonus games it's pretty fun come check it out and have a great rest of your time bye if you can enjoy your remaining years goodbye and so ends the tale of the halfling thief jess gattai and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spout more you