Episode 6 – Into The Woods

Now the round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends and listen close For the tale's about to start I laughed at what I was gonna do Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't do it. What were you gonna do? Wuh that! You guys remember that? No, don't do it. You guys remember Wuh that!

Spout Lore everybody, I'm your game master Sean O'Hara Just reliving the early 90's Super Bowl commercial realities Joining me as always Jessica's laughing so fucking hard Because it's a very funny commercial that we all remember No, it's not Wes is nodding, it's very funny I really caught on Yeah, I really did You guys remember it was in Scary Movie It was great It was in The Office It was in The Office Yeah, it was in The Office Oh man, Wuh that!

Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian Abdulaziz Hello everybody Playing Ving Vang Zoom, but no sorry, just Ving Oh yeah The half-elf druid, Paul Oppers Hello And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief Do we still call, should we still call Billy a halfling? Of course He's still a halfling, culturally? Yeah Culturally, yes, racially different Yeah Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Billy The halfling thief, Jessica Tai Hero, wait no, hello Can we all say that?

She is half Chinese, it's fine She lets slip the way she talks most of the time Yeah She's doing a Canadian accent most of the time on the podcast Yeah, it's all a caricature When last we left our heroes, they had celebrated the night away in the logging town of Pinewood After having accepted a noble quest to help the people of Pinewood reclaim their logging industry Some sort of machine that they bought from the firefields capital of Blackglass Has been lost to some unknown danger in the forest They sent some people out, some people never returned So they want you to find out what happened But mostly, get that tree feller back And you had a party And the party was good Everybody had a good time From what I remember Oh yeah Yeah, Ving had a great time Ving fucked Yeah, it was okay But the party was awesome And the night ended And now we have arrived in the morning The sun rises through the trees in Pinewood Village Cups everywhere Sizzling fire pit in the middle of the town Yeah, there's people sleeping on the ground There's people sleeping on tables You see, Merbo is still asleep Yelium is up and about He's cleaning up a little bit But he's mostly walking around with what looks like a clipboard Just writing stuff And And yeah, what are Billy, Ving, and Tuck up to?

In the morning I am asleep in a pile of chicken That's where I am Just bones? Yeah Yeah That's very funny It looks like it's terrifying to look at Yeah, that's true It's a little kid surrounded by bones Yeah It looks like a sacrifice is about to happen Voodoo What are Ving and Tuck up to in the morning? I guess Ving's still awake Oh, never went to sleep? No, he went to sleep No, he went for a good brood Mmm Went for a nice walkabout brood What's he been brooding about?

Just like looking for love in all the wrong places, you know? Yeah There was a morning dove cooing and it brought him out of his He went chasing it thinking it was his spirit animal Oh, right Ving is still waiting for whatever animal Yeah To accept his summons Yeah Which is something that will, I guess, will happen when it happens Yeah, I guess so Is that up to you or is that up to me? Yeah, you're darn right Let's not hammer this down, Sean Yeah, alright Tuck, what's Tuck doing?

I have the stone box and that red leather book that's connected to Perel's memories And I'm like flipping through the book on top of the stone box Trying to like see if I can Because I'm trying to figure out if Perel's a bad guy or not Right Like I got a good feeling about him but I'm like trying to see if he's like trying to fuck us over Yeah Interesting It's a big book Well then it's too heavy for me to lift No, it's not what I mean Intellectually I mean it's dense And also the pages don't stay the page that they were, you know what I mean?

It's like mutable And honestly my attention span's pretty short so I'm flipping through it just looking for anything that catches my eye That sounds like a Spout Lore to me to get something like that you're looking for or something that would be useful I don't think we've done this in like ten episodes Spout Lore? Yeah It's one of my favorite moves and you guys almost never use it You know what?

I don't think I want to Spout Lore That's right You don't want to but you're not gonna learn anything Okay Here we go So 2d6 plus intelligence Alright You don't have any intelligence still? Yeah Fine Okay, mark a point of experience I'm gonna level up again so you can't aid with Spout Lore Well you can aid with Spout Lore but it would only get him up to a six What if I wake up and aid? Can we all aid?

No It's cool, I wanna roll that again I'm not I wanna know what's going on with this book Those are just the rules Fuck Um, what happens is you're sitting on top of the box flipping through the book trying to find- there's a lot of stuff in here It's a lot of formula, you see pictures of frogs, you see a lot of writing I'm also being kind of secretive with it so on the outside I put the book Love and Lust that we got from Torg So then people- it's like that thing where people think you're reading a porno but instead you're trying to read But the book that he gave you is so much smaller than the big book It barely covers a little section of it And I'm like I'm being so sneaky Very arousing Yeah So you're doing that You're doing the opposite, like you're reading a porn magazine with like McLean's inside of it No no no I'm jerking off You're jerking off Look how hard my cock is Etcetera My cock et cetera And you- Look at- look at- You're getting some sleep again goose pimply my butt has got.

I'm sorry. Is that what erotic is to talk? Is you get goose bumps on your ass? You know how it happens? You know how this happens? And he calls it goose pimply. Yeah. So you're doing that and you're talking about your goose pimply ass. You hear just over your shoulder. What are you reading? Who is it? It's Perel. Oh. And he's like looking, he's kind of furrowed his brow and he's looking at the pages. And I whip around and I look at him.

I like, you know that thing where you like, you spread out on top of the thing that you're looking at to like hide it? And then I'm like, I'm jerking off. And he sort of walks around you in his little magical projection form. Actually on the cover of Love and Lust. He's like, well he sees, yeah, but he, he's still kind of frowning a little bit. He's like, those look like the amaturgical formula. Well, you know what?

Everyone's got a different kink and you know, sometimes I like to look at the amaturgical formula. If you, if you have, if you have a magical text, I'd really appreciate the opportunity to look at it. You don't find much of that these days and it's been a long time since I've been allowed to look at one. I'd really appreciate it. You know, like I think, I think, it's cool whatever you're into, but I'm like looking at porn with other guys. I'm like doing it on my own.

So I'm going to do this on my own. He rubs the bridge of his nose and he's like, if you don't, if you don't trust me Tacoma, you can, you can say that. I trust you. Then show me the book you're looking at. Can I switch it out for Love and Lust? He saw the formula. Yeah. Fine. Here. And I show up. And he looks at the binding. He's like, where did you find, what book is this? I don't know. He found it. Fucking Goblin Tower.

He reaches for the book and he pulls it out of your hand, but the book you're holding stays in your hand and he pulls a copy. And he starts flipping through it. And he's like, hmm, interesting. Well, I'll, I appreciate this. Thank you very much, Tacoma. And yeah, I'm going to take a look at this. Okay. And he winks out of you. Okay. I just go back to reading Love and Lust. Just like grumpily turning the pages. Yeah. I'm barely aroused. Yeah. So that's what happens.

And Merbo and Yilliam start kind of gathering you all. Somebody goes and nudges Billy awake from his pile of bones. Yeah. He rises. Yilliam goes, ah, you had a, do you have a finite little one? I guess so. I had a great sleep. Well, many a chicken will fear your coming. From here on. Oh, no. Makes it like a little crown of bones. Oh, yeah. Billy takes two bones with him. He starts clacking them. Bones, bones, bones, bones, bones. And yeah, they gather you up.

The logger that Ving had a time with is also there. And Yilliam says, you're going to be heading off into the woods today. I assume. Now that we've had our wee bit, bit of celebration. If you're heading out into the woods, you may appreciate a guide. And he sort of pats the woman logger on the shoulder. Awkward. What's, what's her name? What do we think your name is? Vivian. Vivian? Vivian is one of our finest guides. Do you want to do that again? Yes, I do. Vivian is one of our finest guides.

She is one of our finest guides in, uh, in a capable warrior. She would be adequate support if you so need it. But if not, if you think that you would be fine on your own, that is understandable. Ving's like a fan. He's like, oh, you didn't tell me you were a guide. I didn't tell you a lot of things. She says, and kind of winks. Did she give him an STD? Uh, no, but she's like, she's got a lot of blonde hair, like really long blonde hair.

And she's like braiding it into braids and then like tying the braids up on her. Cool. Get that ready. And she's got a big, like wood cutter ax that she's, uh, preparing. I give, I give Ving like a low five. I'm like, awesome. Yeah. She seems very much like she would be tux type. She's very strapping. She's like super muscular. Um, she's bigger than Ving. Uh, how tall is Ving? Ving's pretty tall, isn't he? Yeah, I think, I thought so. He's in the, in the mid sixes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

So she's probably short. She's probably six foot, six, two. Cool. It's like a real Brienne of Tarth. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Uh, so she's there if you want a guide, but they are fine with you going out on your own. Yeah. I'm into it. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was your name again? Vivian. Vivian. Cool. You can call her Vivian, you guys. I, I'm fine with Viv. I'll call you Viv. Viv. This is Billy. Hello. Oh, y'all are so wee. I am very wee.

And, uh, they, um, Billy's really shy cause he knows what happened. And he's just like, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, you have to talk to him about what he saw. Every time she looks at him, he covers his mouth in his sneakers. Well, I'll make sure to keep a close eye on you, little one. Don't want you getting lost in the woods. That was a little foreboding. Yeah. Oh, it's just the woods can be dangerous.

Why do you think we're sending more warriors out in the first place? Yeah. You don't have to prep them with all the scary stuff. Let's just go. Fine. You know, we'll, we'll see what we run into in the forest. And I dropped back and I was like, that was weird. That got weird. I mean, why, why like tell a little boy how scary it's about to be? I mean, I know, but it was a strange move. I know, but this, is this the first time you've talked to her since you had sex? That's her. Oh, God. God.

Why would you, why would you try and scare a little boy that's covered in knives and carrying bones right now? And is chanting bones, bones, bones. That's what he's doing. And he's, he's walking backwards, you know, to protect him. He's protect what? To protect us from the dangers. So you're in the back of the wire. Yeah. Bones, bones, bones, bones, bones, bones. And before, before you do leave, you're like, you start walking. And then, uh, Bev is like, wasn't there a fourth one? Oh, Mears.

We forgot me. Four of you. He's kind of, he's like Kevin. Did you just yell into the village? Yeah. Are you here? Yeah. Are you, are you coming into the woods for the thing? Oh, is that now? Yeah. Okay. Do we need a, do we need Francis? No. Okay. Uh, and then he, you hear like slam and then, and you hear him like he's rushing through the woods. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like tying his cloak on. He's making sure his sword belts on. Right. Is he pulling his pants up too?

Well, I mean, yeah, but he was sleeping. Were you, what were you doing? Yeah. He's like rubbing sleep out of his eyes. His hair is all fucked up. Were you taking a shit? What were you doing? What time is it? It's, I don't know. Morning. Nobody told me when we were leaving. What? It's morning. We go in the morning. Yeah. Okay. I just, you know, if I get out there and I forgot something, I just want to know that I am not feeling like I am accountable for this. You were very accountable for this.

You're the leader. Yeah. Well, then somebody should have consulted me about when we were going to leave. Well, we tried, but you were busy shitting. I was not. He looks at Bev and he looks at Yelium and he's like, I wasn't. I was asleep. I'm a 14 year old boy. I need my rest. Anyways, let's go. All right. You get in front of me and I'll protect the back. And then you can see like there's toilet paper on his shoe. Yeah. I don't say anything.

He heads off and he started, he's clanking a little bit because he brought all his cooking stuff. So he's just like clank, clank, clank as he moves. And Bev goes, all right, well, it's a bit of a walk, so I'm going to, I'll be right back. And she comes back and she has a pretty big moose cow, like a female moose. And she, it's got a saddle on it. And she hops up. She goes, all right, I'll lead the way. Whoever needs to ride can hop up on the juniper. Yeah, I'm going to walk. I'll walk.

I too will walk. Cool moose though. Mears? Yeah. Okay. Oh yeah. Okay. I'll ride the moose. Okay. Never rode a moose before. Clank, clank, clank. I pick him up by his backpack. And he's like laid across it, like horizontally. Yeah. Like the fucking cargo that he is. Yeah. Just sling him across the back of this moose. Uh, all right. And you head off into the woods. Is there anything that anybody wants to keep an eye out for? Well, I mean, yeah, like I, maybe. Mysteries. I don't know.

Traps and mysteries. Yeah. All right. Can somebody, uh, one person. Oh yeah. Billy's keeping it. Billy's specifically. Keeping an eye out for mysteries. Yeah. Keeping an eye out for mysteries. So give me a discern realities. So 2d6 plus wisdom. Roll the bones. Um, nine. Nine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's one question. From the list. If, um, if somebody aids Billy, uh, it could be a 10, which would give you three questions. Yeah. I'll leave Billy. All right. Five total. Five total. Okay.

Uh, so the questions that you have access to for discern realities are what happened here recently. What is about to happen? What should I be on the lookout for? What here is useful or valuable to me? Who's really in control here? What here is not what it appears to be? What here is not what, what appears to be. Okay. Uh, so Billy is walking backwards, clacking his bones. Um, he's also using the binoculars sometimes. Uh huh. Yeah. That's why he can actually see what's happening. Yeah.

Binocular eyes. Yeah. Bev takes you down a trail for 20 minutes, half an hour, and then turns into like some deeper woods. And it's like a more narrow game trail. She's like, this is the way that the logging camp was. This is where the operation was taking place deeper in the woods here. And you're walking and it's very, very dense coniferous forest. A lot of moss. Uh, the light starts getting blocked out in certain places.

And you notice, uh, on a very mossy tree, um, near the bottom, it looks like the moss, the color of the moss changes, uh, from deep green to a very vibrant blue. Stop my pals. Hey guys, look at this. It's beautiful. And you notice on a little closer inspection that it appears to be moving independently, of the moss around it. Oh, gross. All right, let's try it out. So I lick it. Do you really? Really? No. Why? I grabbed him before he can lick it.

It's not a great idea, but this, are you, are you going to try and lick it? No matter what? I'm going to try to lick it. I'm going to try and stop him. All right. Cause it looks disgusting. It's moving on its own. That's it. That's an interfere move. Okay. You can defy danger. Um, constitution. Oh, fuck. 13. 13. 13. Let's see you overpower me. Billy eats all the blue moss. Seven.

Uh, so yeah, you do succeed partially, but that means that you, um, are trying to, you take away two from whatever move he was doing, which would still be an 11. Fuck. Wow. So what does Billy do? He just licks it. Yeah. He just gives it a little. It has that. I mean, in a fantasy world, you would not know, but it has that feeling where like you put your tongue on the end of a battery. Oh, ow. It doesn't. So it doesn't. Yeah. It doesn't like hurt her, but it's like, Oh fuck. What? What?

I shouldn't have done that. I tried to stop you. Sorry. I should have listened. How do you feel? Not good. Oh, I could do it again. No. Okay. Just let him have one more lick. Um, and Bev kind of hops down off Juniper and is crouched and looking at the moss. And she's like, that's I've never seen most like this before. Don't lick it. Thank you. For the tip. I won't lick the moss. Looks like a thing. What's the thing? Uh, uh, like a spirit or like it has spirit.

I'm sensing that it's alive more than just moss. Well, it is moving for sure. Yeah. Um, are you trying to communicate with it? Yeah. I think he's going to try and communicate with it. It crystal hands forward. Mm. Uh, you are very easily for the most part, able to communicate with living things like this, but you sense that this does not have the same sort of connection. To the spirit world as like the moss around it does. And the moss around it is like, what the fuck? Get this muscle. Yeah.

Like, ah, so yeah, they're very, the moss is confused by this blue moss. Yeah. Can we spell lower about it? Yeah, you can spell lower. If you wanted to learn more, try and learn more about the moss. It would be spelled lower. Let's spell lower about it. Yeah, definitely. I got an eight, an eight. Okay. So, um, Perel pops out, he winks into view and he is looking at the moss.

He's like, Oh, and he does that thing where he like, he like jiggles his glasses to make sure they're like firmly on his face. Um, and he gets down and he like is looking at this moss. Very excited. Nobody else can see him except for you three, obviously. And he looks back at you and he says, what is it? This is magical. I knew it. It's like, this is incredible. I don't know why this would be here, but this is magic. What is it? It's moss. It's magically active moss. Oh, wow.

So much insight, Perel. Can you tell us more? Uh, no, I can't. I cannot because I'm not a moss wizard. What kind of wizard are you? No, there's not, but I'm not. Do you know any moss wizards? I have, I have in the past known wizards that worked with moss. Yes. Cool. Hmm. Call Pete. Call one of them. This is like going up to a doctor and being like, something's wrong with my horse. And the doctor says, I don't work on horses. And you say, why not? Because I'm not a horse doctor.

Do you know a doctor? That works on horses? I have known a doctor that has worked on horses in the past. Yes. I have known many people that are specialists in many fields of research. What does the horses have to do with the blue moss? Yes. So is the horse, the moss or is the other moss, the horse? He disappears. Uh, but yeah, so that's what, you know, he says that this is magically active. I turned to Vev and I'm like, is there, has anyone done magic?

Is there magic in your town or is there magic in the history of your town? Maybe? Well, she like kind of, she'd make that face where she's thinking. She makes that face where she's. I love that. That thinking face. She makes, you know, a baby. Yeah. Um, got that big old brain. Um, she's saying this to each other. I got a big old brain. She thinks. And she's like, well, if you go back deep enough in history, it's hard not to find a town that doesn't have a magical past.

Um, I don't know anything specifically, but I believe there were wizards active in the area before all this strangeness happened. Yilliam seems to think that there was a wizard workshop of some kind nearby in the past, but no one's ever found any history of it. I'm going to forage the moss. I'm going to take it. You're just going to rip it up? Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Well, like with purpose. So yeah, you yank it out of the ground. Yeah. And it's a little like, thank you. Yeah.

I'll take this from, from you other moss. You feel it kind of, it does fight you a tiny bit, you know, like when you pick up an earthworm and it's like, no. Yeah. Uh, but it's ultimately futile. Um, so yeah, you've got this moss. Cool. You put it in a mason jar. Yeah. We always forget how loud Ving is. He's extremely loud. All the mason jars and pockets. Oh yeah. Right. Um, okay.

So Ving grabs some of the, the magical moss and, um, um, Bev hops back up on Juniper and mirrors never got off Juniper. He had no interest in getting off. Uh, he's making, he's making a little like bracelet lanyard for a kid. What's his name? Kim. Kim. Yeah. He's making like a little grass, like it's a little bracelet. He's yeah. He's like wrapping it around. It's great. Actually. The hook makes a really good, like a crocheting. Yeah. Um, and you're walking down this trail.

The trees are getting pretty dense. Um, although you are noticing here and there, trees have been cut down like single trees here and there. Uh, and then you smell something. It smells really bad. Really, really bad. Sulfury. Um, fruity. Yeah. It kind of smells like a fart. Yeah. It smells like a really strong fart. Rot. Is it, does it smell like food? It kind of almost. Yeah. It definitely smells like something decomposing. Speaks a lot to your farts. Billy, was that you? What?

Billy doesn't remember. He farts so often. He's wafting from his butt. Yeah. No, it's not for me this time. Uh, I did, but that's not me. Mears is like bundled up his cloak, the edge of his cloak and shoved it over his mouth. It's like, what is that? Are we in danger? Bev? Cabbage skunks. And you hear rustling on the side of the trail and trundling onto the path are these huge plants. And you see little arms and legs coming out of the bottom and a little head.

There's probably five or six of them and they just smell like shit. I pick up, I hold up the ax and I turned to Bev and I'm like, how cute are these things? Should I kill them or is it bad if I kill them? Well, you can see them. They're pretty cute, but they're also pretty tenacious. Okay. If you start anything, they may attack. Okay. I'm going to piss. What? To indicate my, my area. This is mine. Is that what you're doing? Yeah. Cause they're animals, right? Yeah, they are kind of. Yeah.

My instinct. All right. Okay. So you move, do you move out onto the trail like ahead of the, I do it in the middle of everyone. All right. Go for it. At the bottom of your loincloth. And then I'm like, everybody get behind my pit. Bev does move Juniper back just to get away from Juniper. From you pissing. She's like, starts walking the moose back on the trail. She's like, all right, is he, does he do this normally? Not, not a lot. You know, I've never seen anybody try this. So maybe it'll work.

You don't have to roll the piss. Cause it's done. You're like, all right, I piss. And you start rolling a handful of dice. It's to see how well it works. All right. All right. Uh, defy danger. Piss. Piss. Uh, defy danger. Strength. Uh, forcing out piss. Uh, wisdom. I guess it's charisma. It's force of personality, right? You're trying to be like, get out of here. Yeah. I put all, I try and jam all my personality into my, into your piss. 12. All right. Okay.

So you're trying to mark your territory. Yeah. And I'm fucking, I didn't pee when I woke up. I got right into the book. So I have a lot. Whoa. Whoa. Well, it's so great that nobody tried to learn anything about cabbage. She told us enough. She said cabbage scum. Yeah. Tenacious. Yeah. Um, and, uh, they're like, they were pretty happily walking across the trail. Uh, and then you pissed and then a couple of them kind of like sidestep down the trail away from the piss.

But as they part, like the biggest one out of all of them, which probably, they're really low to the ground, uh, but their leaves go up really high. So it's leaves probably extend like six feet off the ground. Uh, and it's this like squat little plant monster with like a kind of snouty looking face on the bottom. Uh, it's black and white. Like skunks are be cool if they're black and white. Okay. This be, this one is more yellow than the other ones for sure.

Um, and it like turns and you see it go like, like it's got, it's snout in the air and then it like hunches down and it starts shaking its leaves. So it goes like, and the smell gets worse. I succeeded though. You succeeded in pissing. Ving takes a poop. Yeah. It's not, it's not moving closer, but it's not moving. Like it's on the trail. Should we approach it kindly? Talk to it. Oh, I mean, yeah. Yeah. I guess you could talk, talk to a plant and an animal. Yeah, that's true.

So what are you trying to say? What's he saying? I'm listening to his, his shuddering. He's saying, get out of here. Get out of here. Yeah, we're going, we're walking through. Get out of here. And I can tell that he's talking to him. I'm like, what's he saying? Get out of here. These are my ladies. Get out of here. Oh, he's protecting his, his, his tribe here. Oh, okay. Well, he's, he's jealous that your pee smells so much. I'm pissing still. I'm pissing still.

It's like the smell is getting worse and worse. Just like move along. Get away from me. Can you ask him if he's seen anything weird with these moss things? Is there anything? Have you ever seen this before? We're leaving a second. Sorry about the pee. On our way out. It's still going. It's still shaking its leaves and you hold up the moss and you see it hunker down even more. And it just goes, no, no, get out of here. Okay. These guys are, these guys are useless and angry.

Can you parlay with him? I think I just did. Let's go. Yeah, he's, he's angry. That's the thing is if you want to calm him down, you'd have to make a roll, like get information out of him. Parlay probably. If he doesn't have it, what, what do we need to know? He probably wants me to stop pissing. He probably does. Uh, well, you can get him to stop pissing. Yeah. And we'll move along. Give me information and this guy will stop pissing. That's a great parlay for this little skunk monster. Oh no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, four. Well, he's just not going to give you what you want. He doesn't want to talk. He wants you to leave. Like, he's not going to let you walk down this trail. We have to go around. I have an idea. Can I use disguise? Uh, yeah. What do you, what's Billy's plan? Well, I was going to disguise myself as one of them so that he would like trust us and talk to us. Just dress up like a cabbage. Yeah. What is it? Can you read out the disguise move?

I've never used it before. When you have time and materials, you can create a disguise that will fool anyone into thinking you're another creature of about the same size and shape. Your actions can give you away, but your appearance won't. I am the same size. Yeah, you're roughly the same size as a little cabbage skunk. You probably wouldn't be able to, actions wise, you probably wouldn't be able to fool this cabbage skunk. Come on, I could. Get on all fours. Wrestle the things. Stink. Yeah.

Let a bunch of farts. I can do that. All right. Can I roll for it? Well, disguise is just time. You just have time. Well, while they're doing this, I'm making my disguise. Okay. So you've collected enough leaves. Yeah, I stuck a bunch of leaves into myself. Yeah. Can I get on all fours? Do you understand? If you, Jessica, were to disguise yourself as a dog, do you think a dog would believe you? For sure. She was really good at it. Bark, bark, bark, bark. Um, please.

But you can't even communicate with it. That's the thing. I go, I'll just make, I'll, I'll do the miming and then Pink can talk through me. Well, the thing is, is that Billy is definitely dressed like a cabbage skunk now. Like no matter whether or not you can communicate with it, you're dressed like a cabbage skunk. Yeah, I did it. And I even have the black marks around my face already. Yeah. That's true. True. Works. Okay. Yeah. All right. You're dressed as one. So what's your plan here?

Um, I, I crawl or whatever on my fours and I go to the front of our group and I say, hello. Um, they are traveling with me. Yeah. You can't communicate with it. You can't talk to animals, but this thing sees it and it starts rustling. It's just confused now. Like you're, you're kind of, you're hard resetting this cabbage skunk cause it's so there's piss everywhere. There's something that looks like it should be a cabbage skunk, but it's not right that it actually starts backing up.

It like backs up more and more and more. And then it just turns around and runs off into the trees. It was just too, it's just too much. It's gone. It makes sure that you're gone. Okay. Uh, but it's gone, but the smell remains. Okay. And you guys realize that it is, it's in you. Oh, we smell. Yeah. Yeah. We stink now. Yeah. I can't smell anything. Okay. This place sucks. Uh, and Bev goes, it does. It does. I've never seen that tactic with a cabbage skunk before. Yeah.

You'd think it would have worked cause I got an unmitigated success. I will say that it did not attack us. There are a lot of people that have lost a life and limb to a particularly aggressive scabbage skunk bowl before. Scabbage skunk? Is that what I said? Watch your mouth. Cabbage skunk. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

I will say that your quick thinking, uh, your quick dinking, I will say your quick dinking may have saved us from a particularly heinous battle. Oh, that's nice. So nice job there. I suppose. We do a three-way high five. Worthwhile. So quiet. So if you're, if you're ready to put your, your little, uh, your little thing away, we can move on. It's not that little. In comparison. Listen to the rest of your body. It's pretty small. It's the same. It's appropriately sized.

I think for the rest of my body, I think we can all agree. Everybody look. Everyone's already walked on. We're all moving. Standing there saying this. I'm walking behind the group with my loincloth pulled up and I'm like, I think we can all agree. Guys. If everybody looks back, look, Ving. Hey, everybody. I've seen it. Ving, look. We're walking this way now. It's appropriately sized, right? I am too hungover to look at that dick today. Please don't make me today. Yeah, I saw it. I saw it.

I'm here. Okay. You know what? It's appropriate, right? I'm underage. Juniper. He's got like one eye on it the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. The moose kind of swings its head around and is like chewing a mouthful of grass. I'm not asking Billy, but the rest of you look. Everyone but Billy. And that goes on for a while. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks.

Billy looks. Another half hour of traveling through the woods. You notice more and more trees are cut down and the trees start thinning and you come to a clearing in the woods. The sun starts to shine down. Things brighten up and heat up a little bit. The rain seemed to have abated for the day. But what you do see is a whole lot of blue moss. It is sort of spread out over this clearing in the sun. And you see lumps here and there that look like, oh, maybe that was a pile of timber.

That could be a cart or something. Some other lumps of varying sizes that you don't know what those are. And then a particularly large one sort of roughly in the middle. Is this your guys' equipment? I assume so. This is horrible. She hops down off Juniper and starts looking at the moss, sort of towing it here and there. This must be where the camp was. But this wasn't here. I can tell you that much. Let me go digging around and see if there's anything we can find under it. Yeah.

Discern realities. Whoa. Yeah. Ten. Ten. Sweet. So that is three questions from this list. What happened here recently? What is about to happen? What should I be on the lookout for? What here is useful or valuable to me? Who's really in control here? What here is not what it appears to be? Okay. What happened? What happened here recently? This moss grew very rapidly and overtook whatever was going on here. The logging camp, you realize that one or two of the lumps might be roughly body-shaped.

And the big thing in the middle is definitely the tree feller. And there's a cart as well. And maybe a horse. Yeah. So the moss overtook this camp somehow. What's valuable here? There's a section of the moss that didn't grow. There's a patch. There's a patch in the camp that didn't overtake this certain area. And you go over and you kind of rifle around in what was there. And it stinks like alcohol. Hmm. So there's some smashed like whiskey bottles. And the moss didn't grow over the whiskey.

Hmm. And who's in control here? You are digging around in another section of the moss. And the moss is moving while you're doing this. Like it's kind of shifting and rippling as you touch it. And you find there's like a tumble of moss. And you find there's like a tumble of stones near the edge of the more recent cut. And in those stones there's a gap. And you feel a breeze blowing out of this gap in the stones. Whoa. And the moss is like particularly thick at the lip of this hole.

It looks like there's heat coming out, but there's no heat. Yeah. The moss is like moving and like kind of waving up the hole. Whoa. Do you just like let everybody know, hey, there's something over here? Yeah. Yeah. So you're looking into this. What is this? You're feeling the air coming out of the cave. And you're feeling this like deep, wet, like coolness from deep, deep under the earth. And you think you hear from deep, deep in. And that's where we'll end it for this session.

This has been Spout Lore. My name is Sean O'Hara. I'm your Game Master. With me as always, players Abdulaziz. So long, everybody. Paul Oppers. Nighty night. And Jessica Tai. Bye, friends. Thanks to Mark and MP for letting us record in their home again, even though nobody's here again. Thanks to Wes for all the technical stuff. Abdul for all the editing. And then Aaron Reid of Vancouver Sunday Service for our intro and outro music. And thanks to you for listening. See you next time.

And so ends the tale of Adventures 3. Who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be. May be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I gladly Spout Lore.