Patreon Bonus: Mall Brats Holiday Special

Hi, Spoutlorians, Abdullah here, just letting you know that we dropped a brand new episode of our Patreon-exclusive bonus game, Speltmore Mall Brats, over on our Patreon feed, and also dropping a little teaser here in the main feed for you guys. So if you're interested, head over to Patreon for the full episode. Links are in the show notes. So I think what we're looking at is a clock situation. Borbo's dad is convinced, you know what I mean? Convinced that Borbo's a good guy.

But convinced Borbo's a good guy within the realm of this fabrication that you have concocted. The overarching convincing is that his father needs to give him a longer leash on his life. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Basically get off his back. His dad's too controlling. Yeah. Yeah. So this is Sway, and you guys are lying about this, right? You're basically creating an even sadder sob story. We're embellishing. And he leans back on the circular couch that rings the thing and kicks a leg over his knee.

So kids, tell me, how did you first come to meet my boy? A sordid tale it was, our history. We will start from the beginning. Yes. Clover, you take the beginning part. Absolutely. I will. Because it comes. It comes. Easy to me. So yeah, Clover stands up like she's giving a speech. She's like, I don't know. We clink our glasses. Cling, cling, cling, cling, cling, cling. I once grew up with a father and a mother, as one often does start out with. And my mother died when I was very young.

I missed her very much, and so did my father. But one day, my father said, my heart has healed and I am ready for a new love. And he married me. And he married my stepmother, who at the time I thought, this is okay. But she turned out to be quite evil. She thought… Shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush. Rattle the table a little bit. We're doing sound design for you. As I grew older, I began to look like my mother, who was once considered the fairest in all the land.

And my stepmother grew jealous. And she would visit the mirror, a magic mirror. And she said, every day, magic mirror. And she said, every day, magic mirror. And she said, every day, magic mirror. And she said, every day, magic mirror. And she said, every day, magic mirror. And she said, every day, magic mirror. Who is the fairest one of all. When I turned 12. Jesus. This is like last year? Yeah. This year? Yeah. Next year? Until a few weeks ago when I turned 12. Uh-oh.

The magic mirror replied, Clover is the fairest one of all. And stepmother grew angry and she threw me from the house and there I was alone in the cold, dark forest. And I ran. I ran so long and I was so scared and sad and I felt the shadows of my past following me until I found solace amongst many short beings smaller than me. And I point at Fenton mostly. Yeah, totally. Franklin's taller. Hello. And they invited me to live in their home and it was a mess.

And so I helped them but I couldn't do it alone. It was too much. And then dear Borbo, he thought, well, these children need a hand. These small people need a hand. Anyway, sir, that's my story. Yeah. I can attest to the truth of that. Her stepmother was very hot. And Borbo like nervously takes a sip from his drink. All right. What about you? My story is one of revolution. Okay. It was 1792. The king had recently been assassinated and I was on the streets of the High Spear.

And I was la miserable. Yeah. I was so miserable. It was crazy. So sad. And there was an inspector. Who had it in for me. Her name was Tina Durger. She was desperate to capture me for I had stolen a series of French buns. They were the softest buns in the land. And I had pinched those buns. They were so hot. She was very cross with me. She was so cross. And so I ran. I ran so far away. I ran and I ran all night and day, but I could not get away.

And so it was the Tina Durger, the terrible and obsessive police officer found me wrapped up in these buns and captured me and took me to the, took me to be killed. And there I was, with my head in a noose about to drop just a little boy of eight. And then, and then from out of nowhere, an arrow pierced the rope and Borba came out and he said, this kid's eight. What the fuck are you doing? You're not allowed to hang an eight year old for stealing buns, no matter how hot and soft. They are.

And how much they want to be pinched. And so I was saved by Borba, the most valiant social worker in the land with his historic and legendary bow. You guys start clapping. Okay. Got to say, son, this is sounding pretty impressive. Thank you. Oh, you're talking. You're talking to my son. Okay. Sorry. Yeah. What about, uh, I am also a son. So it is confusing when you say that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What about you?

Uh, well, I mean, the story starts like any other with a woman and her roommate, just living out their lives, doing what they do, going out for drinks, trying to pick up people. People. Living their lives, working, living, laughing, loving, laughing, drinking, loving, smoking. Didn't have any direction in her life. Didn't think anything was going to happen.

And then one day, a mysterious stranger shows up in her life and just threw a huge stranger wrench into her life, changing her life upside down, turning her life inside out in virtually a day. That stranger, claimed to be from the future and said he was here to stop an evil man from coming and said that that woman's life was in danger. That woman was my mother.

That man came back from the future to stop that woman from dying from an evil robot that was sent back in time to kill that woman before I was even born. That man was Borbo. Borbo was a robot. Borbo was a robot. Borbo was a robot. Borbo was a robot. Borbo became my stepdad from the end. That woman was that woman. And then he's like, can I fucking talk to you for a second? That Borbo fucked the shit out of my mind. And gave birth to me, the leader of the resistance in the future.

Until the world is bombed on October 17th, 2011. When all goes, down, man, the leaves, the children will fly and bark like leaves. And he's got his hand up on the window. Yeah. Borbo's like, hey kids, maybe I think that milk might've been doing something to your tummies. Maybe go to the bathroom real quick. And he's not wrong. Yeah. We all gladly go to the bathroom. It smells like sour milk in here. But because of all this, you still got your role in this is a sway.

Who's leading the group action? I'll lead the group action. Okay. There's a woman. Thank you.