Tag: Tabletop RPG

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and find Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Welcome to Spout Lore We're continuing our Dungeon World game I am Sean O'Hara, your host I am joined by Paul Hello, good morning Abdul Hey there And Jessica Hello Yeah, and to begin Abdul, as the barbarian The outsider racial move I ask you a question About the place that you lived, what happened when you left, why you left, that sort of thing Okay And last time we talked about the origin of the religion of the god of the flame You mentioned something about McCall being past the Sea of Graves, which is also cool And I thought about what that meant No, guess what, the Sea of Graves is real and I know what it looks like and it's cool I think it's very cool Is it just mostly quicksand?

No man, do you want me to tell you what it is?

Yes So the Sea of Graves, it is an ocean that separates the continent that you're on now, which doesn't have a name from the continent that McCall is on And all throughout, in almost a perfect grid pattern, several miles apart, are massive stone pillars Whoa, cool That come up out of the ocean Yeah, and ships run into them Oh, it's dangerous, yeah, sailing in the Sea of Graves sucks It's a foggy, misty sea, and so it's like you can't see and then you're like, oh, iceberg, right ahead Exactly It's the captain from, or it's the ship deck hand from Titanic on every ship and he yells iceberg no matter what Even if it's a big stone pillar Yeah, he's like, in the Sea of Graves, do the gravestones have a here like Yeah, puns on them, about dead people No, I wasn't gonna say puns That's a good question, and I don't think any of your characters would know that Is it like some crazy, weird language that is like ancient, like whatever race used to live here?

The stories, the stories speak of many things There's a race of bird that only live on the so-called gravestones as well Cool Like a diving bird A diving bird?

Yeah, they're a diving bird that they push their young off of and they tumble down the side And then they die And sometimes they die, but the strong ones don't Yeah, cool, I can do it The strong ones hit the water hard and are able to recover Cause their parents push them out of the nest way before they're ready to fly You know if you're in a bus accident and you're supposed to go limp, they're already going limp from tumbling down the gravestones You're supposed to go limp in a bus Yeah, in a bus, always be limp in a bus What if the race of birds that lived on those rocks caused the storms around them?

Like what if they were thunderbirds? I feel like if there were giant birds that caused storms, they'd be pretty rough But that's why they live in the Sea of Graves No, I just thought thunderbirds lived in the North Hey, who knows? Is there a North? Paul's from the North Irving is from the North How many compass rose directions are there?

There's 40 Wow No, there's the regular ones No, 40, we're sticking to 40 We're keeping it North, South, East, West We're gonna name a few of them every time North, North, North, North, North, North, East No, no, no, no They have special names North, North, North, North, North, East They have special names Because it's like not the same depending on where you are Yeah That's like, because like the magnetic fields shift as you like go through the world I like the idea of problems with navigation in the Sea of Graves Whatever, we're gonna go to the Sea of Graves at some point Because I like saying it Spoilers Okay, oh my god And there's the Sapphire Sea So there's two seas that I know of The Sea of Graves Which is by McCall And then the Sapphire Sea, which Mudlark Mayor Eddie Inboggins is from a town on the Sapphire Sea Right Called Vertgrass Vertgrass Greengrass Yeah, greengrass Vertgrass is gross Yeah, it's a nice place Okay, so for my first move this game Let's go to the Sea of Graves My first move To just like push Greg out of the way like Fuck that, shut up Boring box I really hesitate to do this now But I still have to ask you a question Oh god Wait, I did not take up most of the time that just I think you're mistaken I don't know all of that No, that's not 40 directions 40 We didn't list any of them All right, all right, all right Here's my question, here's my question Okay, so I was actually curious about this too What's like a pastime that's really popular in McCall that Tacoma liked to watch as a kid?

Oh, Tetherball Tetherball?

Yeah, there's this thing, it's called Tetherball So what you do is you take a You take two, like two heavy like rock balls They're made of rocks And they're attached to chains, they're tethered to chains And you stand in an arena against another person with two giant balls also And then you fucking just whip Just whip them around and huck them at each other Oh god And it's called Tetherball All right It's a lot like Highline Wait, Highline, the game where you're trying to hit each other with super fast balls?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, except it's safer because we're not using that like curved arm thing Yeah, I think there's like a point system in Highline Yeah, yeah, yeah But it's like Squash, right? Where you're like not trying to hit each other? Yeah But Tetherball, you are trying to hit each other? You're, there's a very, like there's a lot of different ways to play it The official way to play Tetherball is if you kill the other person, you get, you win automatically Oh!

And then you're on your side of the field, you're protecting like a glass statue of your childhood pet And if the other person breaks it, then it's, they get 100 points And then also there's other glass statues around the field And one of them contains a curse And if you break that one, then you have to do something else Then you have to deal with the curse Like some of them, some of them are wasting curse So you get like slowly, you just get like, like really weak over the course of the game Like some of it is like the opposite where you get fat over the course of the game The opposite of weak is fat?

Yeah So, so it's like, it's like those, those boxes in Mario Kart that if you break them, something happens?

I don't know what Mario Kart is That's fine It is basically that Yeah, so like the figurine, you have, you have figurines stacked up behind you The most important one is the figurine of your childhood pet Mine was, it's a figurine of a pet rock When I play And then on the other side, so you're trying to break the other guy's personal figurines And you're trying to avoid the one with the curse in it Yeah Also while trying to kill him Okay, cool With the Tetherballs Alright, yeah, yeah, mark a point of experience for that So when we last left our heroes, they've been approached by Greg Adams, I think is what he said his name was A criminal in the employ of a heretofore unseen figure called Muckraker Hopefully you've listened up until this point if you have chosen to listen to this podcast and you already kind of know what's going on But They, Greg told you that a stone box had been stolen by the Bullywugs and had asked you to recover it You are in the alley with Greg That is where we will begin, is in the alley with Greg Adams, envoy of Muckraker Okay, what has he told us so far again?

He said that the mudlarks were digging up a patch of mud in the fields Uh huh And they pulled out a stone box And then once they dug it up, just a few, you know, like half an hour, an hour later, the Bullywugs attacked their camp Uh, killed a couple people, took the box, ran back into the swamp You guys should be, you guys will have to like, you know, make a plan if you are gonna head into the swamps Are we still with Gary?

Greg, yeah, and he's like, yeah, so If you guys get that, uh, get that box, Muckraker be mighty, mighty pleased And you know if you decide that maybe this isn't in your best interest, I could always turn the box And you know if you decide that maybe this isn't in your best interest, I could always turn the box And you know if you decide that maybe this isn't in your best interest, I could always turn the box And you know if you decide that maybe this isn't in your best interest, I could always turn the box And you know if you decide that maybe this isn't in your best interest, I could always turn the box And you know if you decide that maybe this isn't in your best interest, I could always turn the box And you know if you decide that maybe this isn't in your best interest, I could always turn the box And you know if you decide that maybe this isn't in your best interest, I could always turn the box And you know if you decide that maybe this isn't in your best interest, I could always turn the box And you know if you decide that maybe this isn't in your best interest, I could always turn the box And you know if you decide that maybe this isn't in your best interest, I could always turn the box Okay, let's be serious here.

Mayor ain't necessarily the highest power in Mudlark. Ooh, God. Well, there's levels. There's levels of power. Of course, the gods are, like, up there, like, probably the top. And then under that is, like, demigods. Under that is religious leaders of various kinds. Under that is, like, you know, royalty. But, like, above that is, like, divinely imbued royalty. Under regular royalty is, like, your chancellors. Under chancellors is, like, really skilled chefs. And then there are a few levels.

And then there's the mayor. But above the mayor is Mudlark. Wait. Wait, what? That's the town. Muckraker. Okay. Where's the town? We got a lot of mud and mud-sounding words in our town. And sometimes it's hard to keep them straight. What I'm saying is you're going to do this or you're going to regret it. Fine. Whatever. See, that was pretty easy, wasn't it? I will take my leave of you now. When you return, I will find you. And then he tries to, like, spin away and disappear.

But he's just wearing, like, a vest. So he just kind of… Swipes his arm in front of his face and is like, Hush-ya! Bye, Gary. And then he's gone. And you're alone in the alley. So you guys have… It's, like, you know, 5 o'clock, roughly. 5 or 6 o'clock p.m. And you know that when the sun comes up around 6 or 7 a.m., if you have not met with Emperor Morgulch, the King of the Bullywugs, in the swamp, supposedly they're not going to be too happy about it. They've demanded audience.

Can we just take, like, a moment to watch the sunset together? It's 5 o'clock, so you're going to be waiting a little bit. Oh, okay. I don't know what time of year it is, I guess. In which direction does the sun set in? What direction? The direction that it does on Earth. Oh. Yeah. No. No? Okay. It sets in the east. In the boring direction of east. Oh, my God. Fine. Fine. Fine. It's east. All right. Everyone knows the sun sets in Zellers. The cardinal direction of Zellers.

Do we need to get to the hotel? Yeah. Practical. Wait, should we go to the mayor's house? Does he use that? Oh, yeah. We have his quarters. Yeah. He's in the closet. Right. So what's your plan? What are you guys doing? Well, I guess we're going to go set up shop in the mayor's quarters. All right. And then we're going to make a plan there. All right. So you head to the more quote unquote fancy area of Mudlark. You find yourself in front of the estate of Mayor Etienne Boggins.

And it is basically just a two story house. But there's like a nice little garden in the front, like a small little patch of pretty wildflowers. They don't look like flowers that you guys see a lot. And they're probably like specifically swamp flowers. So they're not. They're not super beautiful, but they're better looking than most of the stuff you've seen so far. And they stink. Everything stinks. Yeah. So you head on in.

There's some nice little lights kind of lighting things up because the shades are drawn. Instead of open flames, there's these nice little crystals that just kind of emit clear light. Oh, cool. I'm going to steal a few of those. Okay. They're like in a housing, like a glass housing, like it's like a nice lamp. But instead of a flame, there's just this little crystal. It lights up. Can I break the housing open? I mean, yeah, it's just like a lamp. Like you can just lift the top off. Okay.

I'm going to smash it and then take the crystal from the inside. You're going to smash it? Yeah. Why not? All right. This isn't my house. So do you just pick it up and smash it and take the crystal out? Yeah. I do it with like three of them. You hear what? What? What? What was that? Who's here? And you hear like tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap as like a set of footsteps. Some wearing heels. Yeah. Somebody wearing like little clothes. Yeah. Like slinky boots kind of like taps into the room.

And it's like a tall squirrel person. Squirrel person? It's a man. Okay. A regular human man with a sort of a high hairline with slicked back hair and a little waistcoat. And he's like, what is this? What is the meaning of this disturbance? Who could this be? We're the mayor's emissaries. Oh, yes. Of course. What happened here? And he like points at the shattered mirror or the shattered lamp and the glass on the ground. My gigantic friend's not used to it.

He's used to being in such enclosed quarters. He bumped the lamps. Yes. I sorry. He sort of goes like, ah, well, all right. Well, I'll just any like snaps and somebody comes hustling in. Is that a squirrel person? Just like a, you know, a sort of middle-aged woman comes and sweeps stuff up. Who is that lady? Who's that lady? Oh, that was, that was Marjorie. Oh. Yeah. Has she worked here for a while? A few years. Yes. How old is she? She's, I believe, 40s, early 40s. Nice. Nice.

She have a husband or. She is happily married. Yes. Okay, cool. Whatever. And he's just like, all right, can we please, what can I do for you? We were invited by the mayor to come stay at his house. Ah, yes. Mayor Boggins did mention something about this. Is there anything I can show you up to the quarters if you'd like? I would like some food, please. Can you bring it to us in the quarters? Yes. Sure. Absolutely. Thank you. And they show you to the mayor's room.

It's like a fairly spacious room with a big four poster bed and sturdy, fancy, nice looking furniture and a little bookshelf full of books. The major domo brings some food for you. Cheese and bread and root vegetables and stuff like that. Hmm. If you need anything else, please just pull this cord here and the bell will ring and I will be here post haste. Okay. The bell rings. He's standing in front of you. Billy tugs on the string and he says, I'm right here. What can I do?

May I have my own platter of this? Just like another one of these, please. Ah, yes. I will. I will bring this as soon as I can. I need like hustles out and you're left alone in the room. Well, I mean, we should probably get some rest or do we need to come up with a plan for tomorrow? We need a plan for tomorrow. Okay. So we have to. We have to meet the mud buglings. They're going to come find us, right? We don't know. We don't know where to go. We're going to meet at one of the edges of town.

Didn't we just go waddle into the mud and then, and then they come out of it? Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully they'll have like boots for us or something. I don't know about that. A cart, a sledge. Billy, you're, you're going to be the one that has to take that box. So we have to work a distraction. Well, yeah, they asked to see the mayor at sunrise. That's why you're mayor now. Cause they're going to take us to meet their emperor. What was his name? More Gulch. Emperor More Gulch. Yeah.

Did he give us a hint? I forget. More Gulch. Mud Larks and Muckraker have asked that while you were there. Oh, then we steal a box. You try and recover a box that was stolen from them. Oh, okay. All right. That they dug out of the mud. Well, I mean, we should probably just get to that place, right? Is there anything we should do first? Yeah, I don't think so. Can we snooze for four hours? We should get some sleep. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess so. We have to make sure we get up before the mayor.

Well, the mayor's going to be in there until. Shut up in there. I, it's so small. Somebody give him a piece of cheese under the door. Somebody slide a book under the door. I forgot. A magazine, maybe. That's all we can fit. It's a golf digest magazine. Yeah. I haven't played golf in years. There's also Mud Affairs. Do you want this one? Yes. Okay. That's the best one. All right. It's a, it's a porno. Mud Affairs. Gross. A porno? I feel a little bad for him, so I slice, I pass him some cheeses.

Oh, cheeses. Fine cheeses. And a cracker. And one cracker. Well. And another cracker. Ah, two crackers. Wonderful. That's it. Here's, here I'm like leafing through and munching on crackers and cheese and just having the time of his life. Wait. We gave him a porno, Meg. That's not leafing. Um, should we figure out what was in that silver box that we stole? Oh yeah. Let's look in that box. Yeah. Billy. Okay. Whip it out. Okay. Yeah. There's like a little button on the side. So I poke it.

And it flips open. The metal case flips open. Cool. And there's a series of six rolled paper tubes. Can I pick one up and look through it? Yeah. It's, it's, uh, it's full of, um, like a stinky, like a, like a pungent leaf. It looks like. Oh, so it just smokes. Sweet. Should we smoke one? Yeah. Let's all. You guys can smoke. I am underage. Billy. Billy, you should smoke this. No. No. No. It'll make you cool. No. Billy's good at not giving into pure bravado. Pressure. Okay.

Fang, do you want to smoke this thing? Let's have one of these stinky smokes. In the inventory area of the book, there is a thing called halfling pipe leaf. And what it does is when you share it with somebody, you get a plus one to a parlay roll with them. Oh, cool. So that's basically what that is, is if you share one of those things with somebody. Okay. Then it make, you can get a plus one bonus to the parlay roll that you make with them. Should we smoke all six? Let's get rid of them. Okay.

So are you guys like resting for a little bit before you head out? Yeah. I guess. It's like we smoke this weed and then we like veg out pretty hard. Read all the magazines. The major domo comes back with a platter of food for Billy. We eat that. No, I eat that. All right. You guys had your own. Okay. You shared it, man. No, I didn't. I waited for mine. Okay. I'm going to cook a couple. Okay. And yeah, so you guys are all rested up and fed and ready to go. Yeah. What time is it now?

It's like, uh, like eight in the morning. P.m. Okay. Yeah. The sun has started to go down. It's getting dark. Okay. So undertake a perilous journey. Um, you pick who is going to be the trailblazer, the scout and the quartermaster. What's a quartermaster? Quartermaster decides when the rations get eaten. Hmm. Well, not Billy. Okay. Uh, yeah. So scout trailblazer, the scout scouts for a danger. I could be, do that. Yeah. That's probably the quartermaster. I'll be trailblazer. Yeah.

Which decides the way to go. Oh, okay. None of this makes sense. Okay. All right. So then you each roll two D six plus your wisdom. Okay. Five, five. Yeah. 11. Oh, perfect. Not nine. Nine. Nine. Um, the quartermaster on a 10 plus. Uh, so you, you don't, you guys don't need to eat. You eat a little bit and you're like, you know what? This is probably not going to be too long of a journey. So let's not eat any of our extra food. So no rations consumed. Uh, trailblazer.

You guys are going to get there. Like you're going to find your way through the swamp in the amount of time you expect the scout, uh, failed. Right. So you mark an experience. No, that's fine. You mark an experience. Um, so you're swimming ahead and climbing up on clumps of grass and Tacoma's leading the way with the, um, the light crystal that you stole from the mayor's place. Cool.

And, uh, in the, in the distance through the trees, Billy, you see what looks like a lantern light, uh, bobbing through the trees and you hear like a, hello, is anybody there? I'm lost. And you see it like bobbing around through the trees, like seemingly at random, almost as if somebody is trying to find their way out of the trees. Oh my God. I feel so sorry for them in my heart. What do I do? What do I do? What do you do? What do I do? Um, Oh, it's just like a very plaintive cry.

Like I've been here. I've been here for days. Please, please help. So I have to play with my character, obviously not what I think is smart. Mm. Billy's pretty stupid, I guess. Oh, I guess he like feels really bad inside.

Because he knows what it's like to be a lost, person uh-huh so he so billy like swims to get a closer look and I guess do you like alert the yeah I'm just like guys come with me great so uh you walk towards the lantern light and you just hear like help help and it's like a nice little like warm but flickering light as if they're as if they're oil starting to run out it'd be one of those anchor fish you know what I mean and uh as you like kind of get tucked to and you're like swimming ahead and everybody's following um you step in a particularly deep patch of mud and you feel yourself start sinking as the mud like sucks at your legs and you two also like ving and tuck are also kind of being sucked into this like particularly bad patch of mud as the lantern light like approaches closer and closer through the trees and uh when it gets within say four meters or so you see that it is just a ball of light no and three more balls of light come out from behind the trees and you're just being surrounded by these incandescent orbs as they move closer and closer what do you do can I do trap expert I will say that you are currently in an active trap you have you have been trapped oh man okay I don't know I feel like there's not a lot of billy and if he gets sucked under that's kind of it all right well if you want to try and pull yourself out of the mud you could always make a defy danger or can we try and pick billy up or does this have to be billy I think are we totally stuck in the mud no you're you guys are starting to get sucked in you're not like totally but it's hard for you to move billy if you were trying to haul yourself out of the mud you could roll a defy danger dexterity probably to like wriggle out I could wait is there any trees above yeah I want to throw a rope over a big branch okay cool yeah that that makes sense like do you want ving to do that or do you want to do that you could pull something out of your I could yeah I could try okay do that yeah mark a mark a thing off of your adventuring gear okay and you'll have a rope okay I wish it wasn't so high right now yeah make it defy danger dexterity to sort of throw a rope over a hanging bow um nine great so um you're gonna have to throw it a little bit higher than you can reach so you can either keep the rope and try and find a different way to get out or you can throw the rope but only tuck or ving will be able to grab it we'll grab you I'll I'll I'll throw it so they can grab it okay yeah so you've marked the thing off you kind of throw it up over the bow and it wraps around in a in a nice way a little clove hitch sort of thing and there is a rope that is high enough for ving or tuck to grab okay I'll grab that rope all right so you're just gonna like pull yourself out of the mud yeah and reach out for tuck to grab billy so we can kind of get a chain with a hand on the rope awesome yeah so you could make a um defy danger strength to probably like haul out and we'll say you get a place to grab it and then you can grab it and then you can plus one because billy set up with the with the uh with the rope 2d6 yeah eight plus strength nine uh oh billy's rope is a 10 great so that works you guys kind of link hands and uh through the power of friendship and teamwork and this rope uh you all pulled yourself so you can sort of like move around on top of the mud I'm sorry no you saved you got everybody out I know but I let us into that that's okay it felt like a team building exercise and as you're as you're uh all standing there celebrating the fact that you're not going to be consumed by the mud just yet uh one of the balls of light starts to move towards you it's little blue flame flickering in the darkness I want to know about that ball is there anything we can find out uh yeah you can roll a Spout Lore Spout Lore six plus intelligence this is six uh so that was a failure mark an experience shit I don't know what those fucking balls are and as you're like what are these things it kind of like swoops into your face and roll a d4 I don't know that's a one the one that's facing up yeah yeah uh so you get one and it kind of it moves moves up to your face and sort of like flickers right in your eyes oh my eyes singes the front of your face a little bit and you take one point of damage what yeah oh bro oh gross it smells gross dude that's your fucking hair burn my goatee you lost more than your goatee you look surprised two two more of the balls uh are swooping in towards billy and uh and tacoma oh can I dodge it yeah totally okay you can roll a defy danger dexterity don't let those balls touch you I want the balls at my face uh good roll well 12 how does billy get out of the way I um I I jump off the branch and I swing oh you swing on the rope yeah oh nice nice swing back on I'm like oh so you just swing out of the way and then back on that's awesome so yeah you kind of indiana jones in a circle as this thing swoops towards uh tacoma and you get yourself out of danger and tacoma you still have uh some balls coming into your face oh geez I got two balls coming at my face guys what do you do real hot balls oh god uh some blue balls fuck these blue flame balls but they're super warm oh these warm balls um what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna try and like break the tree off and then tear it down on top of these balls nice okay yeah uh hopefully they're corporeal yeah go with the uh guys whenever I get into a magic fight I always think in my head fuck I hope these things can interact with matter all right defy that sounds like a defying your strength unless you have a move that is good for wrecking stuff god fucking oh god lord oh my god flame please help me oh is that a two is it two all right what's that plus your strength uh four okay yeah never mind yeah shit guys they're not corporeal shit the tree went right through those balls so what the balls got bigger guys what you do is you is you pull the you pull the tree like you crack this broken tree down on top of you and it is on top of you and you're being pushed into the mud by this giant tree and it's slowly dragging us down because we're all in it yeah you're all kind of in a chain so what do you do guys let go of me drop the tree tuck no yes and then I throw the tree pretty far you throw the tree yeah all right so if you're gonna do that you're gonna be like up to your waist in the mud what if we lay the tree down and you can use it as a bear oh yeah the mud good idea don't throw the tree okay I'm not gonna throw this tree okay probably a smart idea lay the tree down okay and you're free again and the balls are kind of twinkling around and so we're log rolling on on the mud yeah you're standing on this log in the mud yeah spinning the log yeah that animation yeah yeah exactly and and uh yeah so they're kind of flickering in your face they're obviously very you're they're moving in an agitated manner that would seem to suggest they're angry that you're not still in the mud can we propel ourselves into the direction of the mud that doesn't suck us in oh on the are we close enough to the safe mud yeah like and you're just gonna roll on the log yeah yeah I guess or I could just like jump really hard yeah it's cool it's jumping distance uh yeah it probably is you could run to the end of one of the branches and jump off yes yeah defy danger dexterity okay well uh seven seven um yeah you could you could make it but you think if you were to jump like it's still there's like a lot of stuff to do but you're not gonna be able to jump like some like sticky branches pointy branches and stuff and rocks so you'd probably get a little bit take a little bit of damage if you did make the jump I will risk it you're gonna go for it all right so roll a d4 what two two yeah so you uh take two damage as some sticks poke you and you start bleeding no billy how bad do you feel right now I feel mostly sad oh you took a lot of emotion can we talk about this later okay oh yeah you're right tacoma ving from your from your perch on the log you see now that billy is separated you see the ball sort of swoop towards him I want to I want to protect billy I'm very protective of billy all right I should I shape shift is that oh hell yeah this is the first time you'll have shape shifted what are you going to turn into oh it's some sort of bird I don't want to be in that mud an owl a snow owl dope all right yeah roll your shape shift six uh eight okay perfect yeah so you turn into a snow owl with gills a beautiful snow owl with the gills of an arctic char god damn you look so weird yeah they're just like wet gills on either side so you don't have eyebrows as most of your face for a second some singed some singed uh feathers yeah so you're an owl now swooping we can't interact with these orbs I want I've won no you have you just haven't yet you haven't been able to yet I want to like try and attack one yeah I want to try and get at one of these orbs go for it with my claws that are yeah so that'll be hack and slash hack and slash two to six plus strength uh set uh nine nine so yeah that means uh that you deal your damage but they also deal damage to you sure so you um I'll try and get the one that's closest to billy I'm trying to get that one away so I can go up and I try and like cool punch it with my talent yeah yeah roll your damage which is a d6 three three so you uh you swoop and you like extend your talons and kind of try and grab one of the little flames yep and it totally just like puffs out as you close your talons over it but as it does that you also burn your feet your talons uh as you grab an open flame so roll a 2d4 or sorry just a regular d4 1d4 I thought that might happen three yes three damage ten do you have any you might have some armor though too right I think you have one armor I have one armor yeah so you would actually just take two damage there okay so one of the two you have to do is you have to do one of the two you have to do one of the two the flames has been dealt with and it seems like they're not that tough hey guys they're not that tough billy you see as you see a beautiful snow owl with gross gills swoop above you and take out one of the flames uh one of them breaks off and tries to come right at you what do you do I have a dagger I'm gonna try to no like swing my dagger and like cut it yeah totally roll your hack and slash 2d6 plus strength whoa holy shit oh I did it wait you said with strength yeah well uh math hold on eight eight yeah that's still a wait that's nine yeah but she has minus one strength oh shit yeah billy has minus one strength for being a little baby okay um how much damage did you do oh two two so you um slice at it and it kind of puffs it doesn't totally break apart it's like it puffs and shoots a little ball of flame at you and so you take a roll of the d4 three three so you take three damage as it kind of singes your little face and it it breaks apart and it like reforms what uh like a like a few feet away but it's like flickering pretty bad it's not doing so great and uh tacoma you are watching this happen from the safety of a log what do you do super muddy how how far away is billy in this thing like three meters uh okay uh I'm gonna just jump on it on me no on the ball all right uh just but like feet first so that my like I basically just stomp it out okay if this works I mean that's that sounds like a hack and slash more or less yeah yeah so I'm gonna do a front flip on the way well this is a defy danger now yeah okay okay so it's a defy danger dexterity oh wait can I do a front flip and not fall into the mud can I just do the front flip it's too risky man you gotta make a roll uh so I can either jump normal and stomp it out or I can just do the front flip and then I do a plus strength well you're still gonna have to roll the hack and slash you're rolling a defy danger to make sure you don't totally fuck it up oh shit face plant into the sinking mud yeah okay uh I'm gonna roll the hack and slash first nope I have to decide yes you can't just decide whether or not you're gonna do a stunt you know what tacoma was a pretty good traveling musician for a few years and he has now become a musician and he's now a musician lost his dedication to the sense of art and performance so billy check this out billy is not paying attention billy look no I see you cool I'm gonna do a front flip also an owl said that to you I'm facing the other way but I'm watching but your head turns around all right who said that roll your dice check it out we're gonna do a front flip boy oh boy face first in the mug mark a point of experience fail check this out as you try to jump the log sinks deep in the mud and you fall forward log just breaks it you basically like you're like check it and you're holding your axe and you're like you get ready to do a jump but the force of you pushing down to jump snaps the log you sink up to your waist and your axe flies up and you're like oh my god I'm gonna do a front flip and it lands kind of it lands near billy but definitely out of your hands yeah in like a clump of like swamp grass and now you're sinking in the mud and uh one the one of the two of the remaining balls start flickering I use my other hold to get rid of those balls as he's sinking I come down and swoop with them powerful talon move and uh wing beat at the other one I'll say that you can get one with a hold yeah use a hole to strike from above or whatever you want your move to be and I'll scream at the other one yes screech yeah so you just do a cool out do an owl screech pretty good do it again yeah scary and uh poof and you and you puff one out and you swoop by the other one yeah and it's like oh what the hell if a ball of flame could talk but they can't talk no I can't yeah they went oh yeah but it's like it's like it's like a mimicry thing they're not like they don't speak they're not like oh greg no can you can you make them speak to you can you make them speak to you no that's cooler if it's mimicking yeah I mean someone died there yeah that was their last word yeah but uh oh yeah that's creepy yeah but wait wouldn't be fun in this ball but wouldn't be fun in this ball of flame just went oh jeez no we'll see how funny it is when this ball of flame burns your face because it's swooping right at you what do you do me yeah um oh shit what else do I have left I lost my axe you can bite it I could you spit at it yeah yeah there's a lot of mud you could throw mud I could start singing one of my songs like what do these things respond to I don't really it's really close now it's trying to burn you oh my gosh okay here's what I'm gonna do I'm just gonna punch it okay roll a hack and slash fuck you dice six plus strength is two it's now eight eight great so roll a d4 and then also your damage with a which I think is a d three nine nine cool so um it kind of you know does the little burst goes like poof and it and it burns you for three damage but I think you have one armor so just two okay but uh it does that and you go like and then you just swing your big fist through it and totally put it out and that's it's it just puffs out of existence and it doesn't reform these are a lot easier to deal with than I thought yeah I think we all billy the little flickery one's starting to gather strength and it's gonna try and burn you again what do you do um billy do a front flip no I'm gonna lob some mud at it because I'm just tired all right yeah uh you could roll a yeah hack and slash or no a volley because you're you're oh sure so 2d6 plus plus dexterity uh nine nine um um um um Oh, you take what you can get, which means you'll do less damage.

Or you can put yourself in a place of threat or danger to get the shot. I'll do less damage to it. Okay, yeah. So roll your damage. This? Yep. Four. Oh, shit. Oh, no. So your damage is eight. So roll an eight. But the four will be what you subtract, unfortunately. That's not. That one? The top one? Oh, this one. Yeah. Yeah, that one there. Six. Okay, so you do two damage. So yeah, you throw a ball of mud at this little flickery ball, and it totally just spurts out of existence. Cool. Yeah.

And I think that is. Oh, there's one more. And it kind of looks at what's going on and just floats up into the trees. It watches. Wait a minute. Yeah, you better run. We could have defeated these things with mud. I ripped a tree in half. I turned into a GD owl. Fuck. We overreacted, you guys. Well, they were scary. I've never seen anything like that. Yeah, so it floats up into the trees, and you guys are left alone. You're still an owl. I'm singed. Oh, no, I'm back. Oh, you're back in a person?

I used my holes, and I turned back into a. Oh, right. Yeah, okay. So you're. But I'm way too high in the tree. Oh, so you kind of fall down a little. Oh, you're in a tree. Yeah. All right. Yeah. And Tacoma, you have time to pull yourself out of the mud now that you're not at risk of being burned. Very cool. Yeah. And you guys are good to go. Yeah. Okay. What did we learn from that, guys? Never help anyone. Yes. Don't help. And also, mud, good. Mud's good. Yeah. Don't be afraid.

You know, just get in there. Don't be afraid to get your boots dirty. Don't be afraid to get your boots dirty. Billy, what did you learn? I learned not to help anyone. Yeah. Well. Except for each other. Except. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I learned not to trust Tacoma Dome to help me because he has to put backflips over. I did a frontflip. Performance comes first with him. Performance first.

That, we'll talk about that at the end of the session because that sounds like it could be the resolving of a bond. That's true. Yeah. Interesting. Cool. So you guys are just setting back out, trying to make your way through? Cool. So you are, who was the trailblazer? Tacoma. Tacoma. Yes. You're able to kind of remember which direction you were going in and follow the signs that you believe mean there is habitation nearby. And within like four or five hours, not too bad. It's still pretty dark.

The sun hasn't started to come up yet. You estimate it to be around, you know, four in the morning. You come to this like clearing in the swamp and there are a bunch like tied together bull rushes. There's a ton of şuqas.

Of this like break in the trees and um as you walk forward two bollywugs kind of jump out from either side with their spears and they're like who who's who comes who's this they're trying to be really intimidating but that's what they sound like wow they're like good good hey get out of here wait you want to do you guys want to get back in the bushes and take another crack at that and they like look at each other and they're like they kind of like like they're kind of doing like a little frog talk and they're like yeah just a sec okay cool and they hop back thank you very much they hop back behind the things and they jump back out again and they're like who goes there nice yeah that's a plot and they kind of like smile and they're like anyways who are you we have come to seek uh audience with the emperor more gulch uh and they like look to each other and they're like yes you are expected brr and they put the bottoms of their spears on the ground yeah and they're like come with us behold the city of frogs this place is hideous and they they they take you through the trees a little bit and it breaks into like a more open area of swamp and it's fucking dismal it's like really lame wow like you like after hearing emperor more gulch so many times and the lord of all frogs and king of these swamps you expected something a little bit nicer but it's mostly like piles of mud with like holes in them and they're like oh my god they're like oh my god they're like oh my god they're like oh my god they're like oh my god they're like oh my god holes in them and they're like there's like a little campfire but there's like maybe four or five different quote-unquote buildings here and you can you could throw a rock and hit every single one of them there's kids playing jacks but with dead bugs yeah and they're like you know one foot tall because they're just little weird tadpole kids and they're just like it's not nice and they're they're taking you through and uh so you're standing in front of a particularly large pile of mud that's sort of like held up with sticks and a dome and they're like oh my god and there's like four four it's the nicest building here but it's mostly just because it's ornamented with like reeds and like bones of different animals and stuff like that and there's like two of those brown shitty banners on either side of the entrance and they sort of wave you inside all right let's go they uh they stop you just before you get to the entrance and they sort of grandiosely wave at the pile of mud welcome to the palace of reeds I mean for frog people they're doing really good thanks for listening to Spout Lore everybody I've been your game master Sean O'Hara and with me as always have been players paul everyone knows the sunsets and zellers abdul I don't want to dilute my brand and jessica yeah there's so many numbers on that thanks to our uh technical producer west lord for doing all that stuff thanks to aaron mcgoo at heckler's bar and grill for letting us record in their upstairs studio intro and outro music by aaron reed of vancouver's sunday service and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and thanks to you for listening and remembering this for posterity because when we're all dead this is all we're gonna have

What's going on, Spoutlorians? That's the name that we came up for you. You don't have to explain it. I'm doing it, because the show's name is Spoutlore, and you as a citizen are an Ian of it. I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. With me, as always, players Paul, Abdul, and Jessica. Hi. Left to right, as they are seated in front of me. Always, every single time. More of a squat. More of a, it's like, yeah, we're just kind of all squatted in a circle. Yeah. And this is Spoutlores. Around a podcast.

Rick. It's like if we're warming our hands. We record this outdoors. Oh, I like that. Welcome to Spoutlore. We record this outdoors. More outdoor stuff. I hope you can hear me over the wind in the trees. Yeah, and, you know, we've got a big pile of kindling. We've got a fresh kill roasting on the fire, and we're here to make-believe just for you. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old.

You know them by name, you know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute. He knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief. His tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts.

So gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Previously on Spout Lore. Oh, if you're looking for a place to stay, there ain't no finer accommodations in all of Mudlark than the wallow in Sal. Have you guys been having troubles with mire frogs recently? Oh. Oh, man. When haven't we been having troubles with mire frogs? We're mercenaries for hire. Mercenaries? In Mudlark? Oh, you're the mayor? Yeah. Fat Billy wants to hug the mayor.

I took a little metallic wallet, that sort of thing. Oh, like a little metal case. Yeah. We come on behalf of the lord of these swamps and the king of all frogs, Emperor Borgulch. I walk up and show them my gills. Let's ask the mayor if he wants to talk to these guys. Did he leave? As you turn around to look in the alleyway that he was, you just see a mayor-shaped cloud of dust. You almost never see that in real life. Nobody wants a war here, especially against frog people. Borgulch wants war.

Okay, we'll get you a meeting with the mayor. What happened? He wants you to wait in a closet for five to 10 days. Is five to 10 days excessive? Yeah. What should I … Okay. Maybe. Maybe until sunset tomorrow. That sounds more fantasy. Or it's war, they said. War? Well then, I am a patriot if nothing else. The fate of the hot dog festival … I forgot that's what the stakes are. The hot dog festival goes well. It's not like … It's like 95% of their economy, isn't it? All right, cool.

We've done a pretty good job of taking over this town. Yeah. We have this town at least still sun up. Yeah. So, should we do something about the frog? Yeah. The frog war? Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Well, I'm going to go swim over to the swallowing sow. Billy, we should get you like a wheelchair or something to pull you out of the mud. It's fine. The tide came in. Do you want us to carry you? No. I'm already the way I am. I'm just going to steal a wheelbarrow and put Billy in it.

All right, there's just a wheelbarrow. Let's go. Okay. There's just a wheelbarrow on its side. Yeah. It's the same kid as put … I would rather swim. Wait, that same … I would rather swim. Wait, that same 13-year-old kid is pushing the wheelbarrow? Yeah, he walks by and he's got a bunch of pumpkins and a wheelbarrow. Yeah. They're just like, hey, give me that fucking wheelbarrow. And he dumps a bunch of pumpkins and he runs away. Go get it, Billy. Fine. You're like a pumpkin now.

Yeah, you get to eat the rest of the pumpkins that are in this wheelbarrow. I don't like pumpkins. I don't like pumpkins. I don't like pumpkins. I don't like pumpkins. I don't like pumpkins. I don't like pumpkins. I don't like pumpkins. I don't like pumpkins. They're not even cooked. Let's go to the inn and make a plan. Yeah, we need to know what we're going to do with this town. We have the entire town for the night. We should try to get some information about the …

Let's go see if we can find out about Emperor Morgulch. Yeah, and also just general information. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So you guys head towards the Wallowing Sow, which is probably the biggest building in the center of town. It's a two-story, sagging, clapboard-looking building, but it's got nice glass windows. Yeah. It's a two-story, sagging, clapboard-looking building, but it's got nice glass windows. Yeah. It's a two-story, sagging, clapboard-looking building, but it's got nice glass windows.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So you guys head towards the Wallowing Sow, which is probably the biggest building in the center of town. It's a two-story, sagging, clapboard-looking building, but it's got nice glass windows and stuff like that, and one of those cool doors that swings in and out, like the, weep, weep, like a saloon door. Oh, cool. Glass windows. Pretty fancy. I mean, he's not wrong. Glass windows. Primo. Yeah. Can I go in there? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Can I go through the saloon doors first? Yep. Thank you. That was pretty cool. I've always wanted to walk through those. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, wait, I'm coming out. I'm coming out. I'm coming out. I'm coming out. I'm coming out. He's, wait, he goes back out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. Hey, wait. I did it again. You're a piano player. Yeah. Can you stop playing piano? Just listen, listen. Yeah, stop. Hold on. When my friend walks in, can you stop playing piano? Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Okay, cool.

Guys, over there. Just for a second. For a second. Okay, wait, wait, wait. I gotta go back in. Yeah, the music stops. Everybody turns. Was that okay? You tell me. Cool door, guys. The orcs go back to playing cards. The piano player starts playing a jaunty tune. Billy, you look hungry, bud. I'm miserable. What? Billy hasn't eaten in at least 12 hours. Yeah, we gotta get this boy some food. Yeah. I'm inches from death. Yeah, you can smell the sense of hot meats and stews and breads on the air.

There's an older woman behind the bar. She's got shoulder length, kind of like coppery hair. She's just pouring drinks and talking to people and having a grand old time. Excuse me, miss? Yeah, hon. How's it going? You wouldn't be Maggie, would you? Oh, you bet I am. Maggie Kolzak, welcome to the Wallow and Sow, boys. Hey, Maggie. Nice to meet you. Oh, thank you. Take a seat anywhere. I'll be around in a tick. Oh, okay. Cool, thanks. How long is the tick, though, you guys?

Yeah, that could be a long time here. How long do you usually take? It usually takes like two or three minutes. How long does the tick take? So, three hours later, she comes to you. No. Billy. No. No. Billy's just denying that. Billy needs to eat now. I'm gonna go through some garbage, I think, or … Billy. She's coming. She's coming. She's coming. She's coming. Billy. She's coming over. I need it. You saw a pile of garbage on the side of the building. There's nuts on the bar.

Do you want some of these nuts? I want anything. Okay. I see a waiter take someone's half-eaten food away, and I'm like, I'm gonna get that. You're gonna go for that? I'm getting it. Okay, so you see the waiter take some … Perfectly good. Bust some plates … Perfectly good. Walking into the back. Yeah. But behind the bar and through into the … Where you assume they cook the food. Yes. Are you following? Oh, yes. Billy's following. All right. So, yeah. I think it's a 2D6.

It's a 2D6 plus dexterity. Well, I … So it's a five. A five? All right, yeah. Mark an experience point. You kind of creep behind the bar in your little raccoon skin. You feel like a big, heavy hand on your shoulder. You get turned around and looking into this gross, wrinkly, scarred face, like missing teeth. I'd have a word with you, boar. Okay, I jump into the situation. Oh, you see this happening? Yeah. Billy's like, I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this.

I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this. Billy's like, I'm gonna get this. Oh, you see this happening? Yeah. Billy creeped away. Have you been just watching him … Yeah. Billy got up and he was like, I'm gonna go sneak into the kitchen. We were like, okay, we're gonna watch that happen. We were gunning for him. There's a pretty big dude just grabbed Billy.

Okay, I run up behind that guy and I grab him by the waist. By the waist. We were like, hey. Just because I'm not thinking. Really. We were just like, get away from my friend. I come in, hey, hey, hey, what's going on here? Try and calm everything down. Hey, I whisper it into his ear. I get really close to him, and I touch my chest to his back. I'm like, hey. All right, you do that, and he jerks up, and he swings an elbow back towards your face. What do you do? I block it. I block the elbow.

You block the elbow? All right, that's going to be. Okay, so he blocks the elbow from behind. He's got to roll for this. You guys are. Okay, roll. Okay, so that's going to be a defy danger. How are you blocking? Are you just full on trying to stop? Yeah, because he's got his hands on his waist. He's reaching around out of a reaction, so I'm just trying to calm the situation down. All right, so that'll be a defy danger strength, because it sounds like you're trying to block by just stopping him.

Yeah. Yeah, all right, so that's a strength. I got an 11. An 11? Holy moly. Yeah. So, yeah, he swings the elbow back. I turn my arm into a rhinoceros's arm. Okay, maybe not. I mean, that's pretty dope. Oh, wait, no. That's a different roll. That's a different roll, yeah. And you're also from the frozen north. Yeah, there's frozen rhinoceros, right? Yeah. Tusks of ice. Ice horns, yeah. Ice what? You've never seen an ice? They're covered in hair, and they have ice horns. Dude, yeah. Whoa, cool.

I'm trying to be the one that, like, you know, I got to be the GM. I got to, like, run things, but sometimes, like, when you guys mention, like, a cool fantasy thing, like, I'm a 13-year-old kid again, where I'm just like, that's so cool. I just got an ice horn. Ice horn rhinoceros, yay. Okay, but, yeah. So you just, like, pow, like Bruce Lee. Yeah, I think of my arm as arm. That's what I do when I don't actually change into things. Rhydon Dosser arm. Boom. Yeah, and you stop him. Yeah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. And I'm like, hey, everybody, calm down. And so the orientation is as follows. I've grabbed his hip. He put his arm back, and then Ving came up behind me, and so he's pressed against me from behind. Holding his arm. Holding the guy's arm, and he put his other hand on my hip. So it's like a sandwich now. And, like, we're all struggling and rubbing. Yeah, he's struggling. He's like, what's this? What's going on? What are you? Hey, I just want to. Just let go of Billy.

We'll let go of you. Everyone calm down and have a conversation for once. And I'm going like. Okay, that's going to be. Just to, like, freak him out. That'll be charisma, because he's like, he's Raryn. You got to calm this guy down. All right, everybody just chill out. Three. Plus one. Four. Just chill out. Four? All right. Well, I just feel because any time you tell somebody to relax, like, hey, relax. It's never going to work. That's all that happens. Makes it matter.

So what happens is, like, get your hands off me. And he, like, swings his head back right into Tacoma's, like, face. Oh, fuck. And could you roll a D6? Three. Three. So you take three damage, except I think you have one armor. Mm-hmm. So it's two damage. So he just kind of, like, swings his head back in his skull, hits you right in the nose. Does his skull then go back in my. Because I'm behind him. I mean, sure. If you want to also take three damage. I don't.

Then he's like, get your hands off me. Can I just start kicking everywhere? Just like, I'm so mad. The power of my hunger is, like, giving me as much strength as I can possibly ever have. All right, yeah. So you're just wriggling out with your strength? Yeah, yeah. All right. Maybe strength wasn't the best idea. No, it's still. Nine. Nine, great. Wait, that's ten. I know, but my strength is minus one. It's my weakest. You're a wee child. Great. So, yeah, you wriggle around and you, like, kick.

Mm-hmm. And you uncenter his grab on your arm, I guess. Or, like, you just kick him the right way that he drops you and you hit the ground. And what's some of your inventory? Oh, I have dungeon rations. So. So, three uses left. I have a dagger, three throwing dagger. No, two throwing daggers and adventuring gear. Okay. So you kick out of his hand and you kind of land on your back on your, like, little satchel bag. And you feel something crack and, like, shatter.

So mark a use off of your adventuring gear. Okay. Because something in there just, like, broke. Yeah, so they're still struggling, I guess. And this dude's trying to get away now. He's, like. He's just out of here. Well, I'm going for the plates, the foods. Really? Yeah. You're just ditching? All right. No, this is. This is. All right, cool. They didn't have to. So you're just running into the kitchen? I'm going to, like. I'm going to. Like, because he let go of Billy, so he's out of center.

So I'm going to push forward. Uh-huh. So he goes straight into the ground. And I'm on top of him. And then Ving is on my back. All right. I guess that's a defied injury strength. Just to make him, like, tap out. Yeah. Just going to make him tap out. Yeah. I'm going to whisper in his ear. I'm going to say, tap out, motherfucker. Tap the fuck out. Defied injury strength, I guess. Because are you. Unless you're trying to, like. Unless you're trying to do damage to him.

Like, are you trying to fuck him up? No, no, no. Just, like, hold him down. Okay. So that we. Like, we can make him tap out. And then. Okay. Talk. And then talk. So that's a defied injury strength. Yeah. So would you roll? Tap out and talk. This is six, seven, eight. Nine, ten. Nine, ten. Nine, ten. All right. Yeah. That's an unmitigated success. So you. And let me do it? Let me do it. All right. Describe it. Okay. Like, so Billy runs away. Yeah. Guy's off balance.

So, and he's hit me in the face. And my eyes. Oh, I'll do it like this. My eyes are all crying and shit. And I'm like, fuck. Well, you're crying? Yeah. Oh, because he hit you in the face. In the nose, yeah. Not because my feelings were hurt when he punched me. No, because I'm scared and alone. So I. Ving is behind me. And I've got my. Hands around his waist. So I push forward. And get this guy on the ground. And he's struggling. Because he wants to get out from under these two dudes.

And I'm like, no, motherfucker. Stop. Let go. Stop struggling. Let. Just tap out, buddy. Just tap out, bro. He's. He's trying to tap out. But you've got both of his arms restrained. Tap out, man. Tap out. I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying. Tap out. Get off me. Get off me. I'm sorry. So he like, wriggles out. We all get up. And I help him up. Yeah, you help him up. And me on your back. Yeah, Ving is just holding on. You carry a lot of stuff on your back.

Meanwhile, Billy, you're in the kitchen area. Mm hmm. Alone, unsupervised. Awesome. You see the dude like kind of putting the the dude putting. Yeah, there's like a pile of plates with like half eaten meals on. Oh, and you're just going for that. Oh, yeah. I'm going to… Are there like little counters that I can kind of… I'm going to scuttle alongside. It's like waist height for a normal person, so it's twice as tall as you. I'm pretty fast crawling, so I'm going to do that.

I'm going to hunch down and I'm going to crawl. Yeah, we're going to get another roll for the 2d6 decks. Okay. Because there's a couple kitchen staff in here. It's like Jurassic Park. It's like, yeah, it's like they're trying to get the pots and pans. So, eight. Eight, great. So, read the tricks of the trade. What does it say? I still do this, but the GM will offer two options between suspicion, danger, or cost. Suspicion, danger, or cost.

Okay, so you scurry up onto the counter and there's just… Potato wedges. There's a plate of potato wedges with some sauce just right there in front of you, ready to be eaten. All right. But you're pretty sure by looking at the two kitchen staff that are in here… That they're going to turn around and see you at any second. If you eat these, they will see you. But if you just leave them, you can hide and they won't see you. I'm going to grab them. For sure.

So, you're just like shoving them in your mouth? I grab, like I use all my fingers and I grab like 10 of them, like through my fingers. And I'm just like, perfect. And then I'm going to run away because I know they're going to see me. Yeah, so as… I'm just like, yummy, yummy, yummy. As you're like running with two fistfuls of potato wedges, they see you and they go, hey, stop! And they start running towards you. What do you do? I'm going to run back towards Ving and tuck.

Okay, so what's the situation with you two and the guy? And tap out, we're having a talk now. Look, I just wanted to talk to the kid. I didn't want this to be a whole thing. What do you have to say to that kid? If you want to talk to him, you talk to us first. What I got to say to that kid… It's the mayor. What? I don't… No, no. I just… What I got to say to this kid is between he and I. Well, you do not have audience with that kid then, if you won't tell us.

Do you understand how fucking weird that sounds? You? You and a strange old man want to be alone with this child. I wouldn't trust you if you didn't have scars on your face. Yeah, and that little boy is one of the most kind, trustworthy people I have ever met. And the doors burst open and Billy's running out with two fistfuls of potato wedges. He's being chased by a dude in a chef's hat with a big wooden spoon. He's like, get out of here, you little scamp!

Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Can Billy run up one of our bodies? Is that physically possible? Like a little wreck here? That's true, yeah. You curl around his shoulders with your tail. Yeah. I'm going to do that. I run on to Tuck and I latch onto his neck, but also eating still. I make sure I can reach. There's a lot of potato grease and blood on my face. All right, yeah, and the spoon guy is just like, get out of here. Go on, get out. Get out of here. We'll pay for those.

Don't worry about it. Okay. Just make a roll. You've got to convince him. Okay. Just chill out. I got five. Five, no, nothing? With your charisma? Oh, yeah, six. Okay, so that's a six. Oh, five. Anybody want to aid to make it not a failure? Six. All right. Six. Plus what? His bond, yeah. Eight. Eight. All right. You guys, just relax. It's a potato wedges. All right, yeah, I'll relax if you get out of here right now. We have words with this creepy old guy. I don't care if you got words.

You get the words outside. You go. You get out of here. You go. Go get. Okay. Billy, you get us kicked out of every restaurant we go into. I was so hungry, you guys. I was so hungry. I was so hungry. I was so hungry. I was so hungry. I was so hungry. I was so hungry. I was so hungry. I was so hungry. I was so hungry. I'm going to go back to Red Robin now. They said the fries were endless. They lied to us. So you guys are kind of hustled outside. With this guy. With the guy. With Wrinkles. Gross.

I don't want to be seen with this guy in public. Hey, kid. Can we talk? Yeah, we can all talk. Supervised, maybe. This is a savvy kid. Stranger danger. I'm not going anywhere with you. All right. All right. Come on. Come on. Where is he pointing to? He's nodding to just away from crowds. Okay. Okay. And he walks you through to a side street. Should we roll a discern realities? Okay. Can I size them up while we're walking over to that secret place? Okay. Sure.

That he wanted to take this child to. Six plus. What is it plus? Wisdom. So six. If anybody wants to. If anyone wants to aid. The aid. I'll eat them. I'll eat them. Sizing them up. Okay. Nine plus two. Eleven. Eleven. Yeah. So you get your plus one. So that's a seven. So how are you helping him size this guy up? I'm asking him. We're like whispering to each other while we're following him. What are you whispering? So what do you think of this fucking guy? I recognize his dress as being of that.

That of the people who come from the far west. Oh, okay. Well, what? Okay. So with a seven to nine, you get one question from the list on discern realities. What happened here recently? What is about to happen? What should I be on the lookout for? What here is useful or vulnerable to me? Who's really in control here? And what here is not what it appears to be? Okay. So. I want to know who's really in control. Okay. Wait. Who's really in control? Batman. Everybody in the town.

So he's like walking and you see on his like forearm. He has a. Dark tattoo. It's like a bar, like a thick bar with six smaller lines coming off of it. You remember seeing a few other people in town with that tattoo. Hmm. You get the idea that they're all. Part of this cult. Part of something. Okay. Okay. Well, I think that you see that tattoo on that guy's arm. Yeah. I saw that other guy with that other tattoo. Yeah. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool tattoo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like a band. You think they're in a band? You think they'd be into jamming together or something? No, nobody wants to jam with you. Okay, cool. All right, so he turns and he's like, Bless you, Billy, bless you. Oh, big Billy three. I think I'm allergic to potatoes. Sorry. Billy, are you allergic to potatoes? Maybe. Maybe. Does anyone have an epiphan? Does anyone not have potatoes?

That's all we have. So he turns and he's like, Y'all are heading into the swamp, right? Talk to the frogman. Yeah, that's tomorrow, yeah. I represent someone with business interests in the town. And the frogman took something that belonged to my employer. What? You'll know it when you see it. Are you fucking kidding me? All right, fine. We're going to get an emperor frog. We're done. Everything's going to seem like something we've never seen before.

When you head into that swamp, just keep your eyes out. A couple days ago, we were digging in the mud, and we found something, a little stone box. And just as we were getting ready to pack up our operation for the day, the frogman hit our encampment, took the box into the swamp, and we ain't seen it since. Now, we ain't seen it since. We haven't had much time to go back into the swamp and get this box. If you could retrieve it for us. He wants to steal this box? Not in so many words.

They stole it from us. You'd merely be reclaiming it. Why would we do that? We'd make it worth your while. Now we're talking. Our rate seems to be five gold coins a day. Done. Nice. Payment on delivery of the box. Dope. All right. All right. Muckraker greatly appreciates your help. Your name is Muckraker? You speaking third person? My name is not Muckraker. I represent… You guys ain't never worked for a cartel before? Oh, yeah, totally. You have? For sure.

I worked one time for a guerrilla cartel. Billy, it seems like you've worked for a cartel. I've worked for a cartel. You're blinking a lot. This kid's blinking a lot. I feel like… You're lying to me. No, he just has dry eyes, man. I just have allergies. I have hay fever. He's allergic to potatoes. Wait, what's your name? My name's… Greg. Oh, cool, Greg. Yeah, just Greg Adams. Oh, dope. Yeah, my family's not from around here. Yeah. You guys notice everybody here has weird names?

Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. My name's Ving Vang Zumba. I met someone named Dick. Vang Zumba. Foulsmith. Foulsmith. I've been telling people my name's Mud Muggins just to fit in. Sounds like the name of a dog. It does. I had a dog named Mud. I thought it was a good way to… Why are we talking about this? We named the dog Indiana. You guys find this box and my employer will rework you. I don't think we can say no to this. Why did you want to talk to just me? I saw you lift that thing off the mayor.

Oh. And? I figured you had a particular set of skills when it comes to reclamation. Also, you're expendable. So, yeah, end of the session, we'll deal with a little bit of the end of session stuff. Can I have the special moves sheet? Yeah. Oh, here. Yeah, this is just one that says special moves. Great. So, at the end of the session, choose one of your bonds that you feel is resolved. I'm maternally protective of Fat Billy. Do you continue to be maternally protective?

Yeah, we jumped on that guy when he grabbed Billy. We were very protective. Yeah, so that hasn't changed. Oh, I see. Yeah, so once that is, like, not the case anymore. Well, it does say maternally. I don't know. Have you been nursing Billy? But you could turn into, I don't know, maybe you could turn into some sort of female animal and nurse him. No, don't do that. That's weird. None of my bonds were resolved. Okay, no resolved bonds. No. Okay, so… Answer these three questions as a group.

Did we learn something new and important about the world? Yes. What? That the head of the cartel is named Mudraker. Muckraker. Muckraker, and everyone that works for the cartel has that weird tattoo. Yeah, okay, cool. And also, we kind of took over a town for a couple of days. That's not something you learned. That's something you did, which was cool. Yeah, so, but yeah, that's true. You guys learned, you learned about Muckrakers. And the cartel. And the cartel. So, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That was a fun experience. Did we overcome a notable monster or enemy? No. We kind of overcame municipal bureaucracy. So, we'll work on that. Democracy. Did you loot a memorable treasure? Not really. No. Okay, cool. Well, Billy got those potato wedges that sent him into an apocalyptic shock. To be honest, they weren't really memorable. I'll write that on Yelp. All right. Well… We… We… We… I'll carve that into the Yelp stone outside of the inn. Ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. Great.

So, that leads to the next question. Did anybody complete their alignment? Billy, your alignment, I believe, is putting appetite before all. Yeah, I did. So, mark an experience for completing your alignment. Anybody else? Am I chaotic good or chaotic neutral? I don't think I chose… I don't think there is one. You're not either. It's just chaotic good. Okay. Or chaotic or neutral, I think, are the two choices. Oh, I see. So, you're chaotic. Is she a good one? Convention of the Civilized World.

Did I… When I grabbed that guy around the waist and whispered in his ear, did that count? No. It was a fight? If you did that as, like, a method of greeting, maybe. All right. But I did… That's not a normal fight move, right? I don't know. Have you watched, like, some WWE or whatever? What about all the times that I terrorized that 13-year-old boy by yelling at him? That seemed normal. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I think when it happens, we'll know. Okay. You know what I mean?

If we want to have to grasp one. If we miss a convention, we'll be like, yup, you did it. It'll stand. So, not this time. Paul? I didn't help anything or anyone grow. All right. One day. Yeah. Okay. Maybe together. Great. So, yeah. We're planning those deeds together. We'll pick this up next session. All right. This has been Spout Lore. We have been playing Dungeon World by Adam Coble and Sage LaTorah, which you can find at dungeon-world.com.

I have been your Game Master, Sean O'Hara, and we've been playing with Jessica. I'm covered in piss. Paul. We won't record this one. And Abdul. I think we've been recording this whole time. Thanks to Hecklers for letting us use the upstairs Hecklers lounge for recording. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our amazing theme music. And, yeah. Thanks for listening. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3, who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry.

And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And free yourself. You ungladly spell no. You ungladly spell no. You ungladly spell no.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Previously on Spoutmore Uh, have you guys been having troubles with Meyer frogs recently?

Oh man When haven't we been having troubles with Meyer frogs? We're just heading into town for the festival Oh, the hot dog festival! Yes Oh, if you're looking for a place to stay, there ain't no finer accommodations in all of Mudlock than the wallow in the south We're mercenaries for hire Mercenaries? In Mudlock? I am the mayor of this village Oh, you're the mayor? Yeah Fat Billy wants to hug the mayor I took a little metallic wallet, that sort of thing Oh, like a little…

A little metal case Yeah Can we help? Can we… I need this festival to go off without a hitch I'm willing, in this situation, to deputize the three of you as official enforcers Welcome to Spoutmore We're continuing our Dungeon World game I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara, and joining me are players Jessica Hey Paul Hi And Abdul Hey guys Oh, something that we didn't do?

Ask some questions, because the thing that I'm supposed to do with the Barbarian is ask you about the place that you came from I ask you a detail of the thing in the Newmark experience if you give me an answer Okay So last time we talked about your favorite festival that you missed from McCall Oh, yeah And you talked about Fireworks Festival in reverence of the Prophet of Fire Yes Yeah And you mentioned the God of the Flame Yeah Tell me… Okay, so what is the…

What is the most common way of worshiping the God of Flame? Like, a lot of people shave their pubes Oh, Jesus What? The world… Other cultures are just different sometimes You're totally right You're totally right If it has… If there's, like, grooming… Are there other methods of grooming that… Maybe in your culture, pubes are something else What if… What if, like, they're all naturally hairless on their head and so their pubes are, like… Their hairdos? Their pubedues? Yeah Every…

Wear, like, really, like, v-neck pants Yep Go right down to the crest Like, really low… Low riders Mm-hmm So you still can't see the dick or balls Okay, let me just… Ask me again Let's start again from the beginning Because this topic, like, went in a weird direction It's off, it's off Ask me another question Okay How did… What is the origin of the worship of the God of the Flame? A million years ago… Uh… There was… There was a man… And a woman… And they… Fucked… Hard…

Um… And while they were fucking, they were struck by lightning… And the lightning was the dick of the God of the Sky… And… So it was like a three-way… And this chick got pregnant… And… There was a woman with a baby…

Baby came out of and he looked normal at first but then when he hit puberty there so like kid was normal until puberty and then his voice changed and he started having like all these weird feelings and then his dad died of a coughing fit and and the kid was filled with such sorrow that his lightning his his dormant lightning genes activated and he set himself on fire and he was a combination of lightning and man and then he became a fireman and he elevated to the position of a god over the course of his life because he dried out one of the largest seas in the world with his fire one time see that's okay yeah but that's the that's the boring part of the story the cool god stuff he does that was boring I what I really liked it but okay mark an experience for that just one I read that's the thing is you got a limit of one my friend what I really like is is there's a lot of stuff in there that if you if you think about it could be like a biblical like a like a religious text and that's the thing that I really like is that there's a lot of stuff in there that's just tuck trying to explain it yeah he's just like there's a man in a woman and they fucked lightning I guess but it's like you know a man and a woman conceived the child of the sky like the book is actually really moral and beautiful but tux is just trying to explain it and he doesn't know enough all right cool and there's so there's a sea that dried up somewhere yeah cool I wanted to ask this too is mccall like really far away it's um it's on the it's on the other side of the uh sea of graves the sea of graves yeah it's boring I don't want to talk about the sea of graves the ocean that the god of the flame dried up no no is that past the sea of graves is still a sea um the the ocean that the god of the flame dried up it was um is this is the is the dried up ocean now a place do people live there it um they do uh it's like salt flats now cool so they do like land speed record tests there it's mostly racing and yeah it's it's pretty barren now nothing grows there because it was it was glanced by holy fire because he dried it up with himself man that explains all the salt yeah yeah all right sweet um who was explaining this to the whole time me sean oh yeah I just asked you a question you could have did it in your regular voice I should have really done it where the fuck were we uh all right yeah so the mayor is like if you do this for me you will be in the good graces of the people of mudlock including myself why did your voice change so quick I'm sorry why did your voice change what's the deal is this the voice you're doing now uh and as he's like please just do this for me and I will I will be in your debt well I'm paying you so I suppose we will it will be square it's an exchange it's an exchange of money for goods and services yes you've hired us yes you are hired five coins a day starting tomorrow and wait wait as he says that wait you're not getting a free day bitch as he says that there's like a a commotion you hear like Kind of a bunch of people.

I keep saying commotion because it's the easiest way to describe it. I hope it's a train. A train rips through the center of town. No tracks. Oh, no. I think we're in my dreams. We've been incepted. It's a locomotion. You hear like a kind of really overly loud series of like wet croaks. Just like you're walking through a swamp at night. And there are people kind of like shouting. And you see the town guards running around and pointing at things and yelling and trying to organize.

And the crowd on the edge of the square moves aside. And four large frogs on their hind legs walk into the square. Two are carrying banners. And two are carrying spears. And one has like a busted up brass horn. And it's kind of being like boop, boop. Like it's like tooting into the horn. Wow. That horn is making a dumb sound. Toot, toot. But then the frogs' voices are slightly more intimidating. Because they're just, you know, loud and gross. And they're speaking frogs. Yeah, they're just like.

And they're like walking and kind of snapping at people and pushing people out of the way. How rare are frog people in this world? That's a great question that you can answer by rolling a Spout Lore. So that is, you would roll 2d6 plus intelligence. Which I think you've tried to do a bunch of times and are exceptionally bad at. Yeah. I'm going to give you the sheet. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Seven. Plus your intelligence? Zero. Oh, you're zero. Okay, so it is a seven. Seven. Seven to nine. So with a seven to nine for Spout Lore, I tell you something interesting about the. But not useful. Yeah, but not useful. So what you know is that frog people are fairly, not fairly common, but they're known. Okay. These creatures are commonly called Bullywugs. And, yeah, they're just kind of bipedal frog people that live in swampy areas. And that's all you know. That's.

I also heard like a stereotype about them where they like they're really cheap. That's like could very well. Yeah. Frugal is good, though. Yeah. It's about quality. Do it. Do it. I'm not going to say frog. Spout Lore. So the. The Bullywugs, as you now was. Ving. Remembers they are called. Walked in the center of the square. And one of them hops up on the dais in the center of town and pulls like a little rolled piece of fabric out of its pocket and like opens it in front of it.

And is like, here you hear you. We come on behalf of the Lord of these swamps and the king of all frogs. Emperor Borgulch. And the mayor is like, what the what? No. What is. What is. My deputies, please. You are now on the clock. I will pay you today. Ah, cool. Deal with this. And he like kind of starts pushing you towards. The frog. The frog people. Go, go, please, please, please. All right. Who wants to talk to the frog people? I don't want anything to do with this. You're intimidating. Yeah.

But I feel like diplomacy is probably best to start with. I do have gills. Yeah. I walk up and show them my gills and say, well, we. We represent the mayor in this city. So. All right. Should we start talking to him? Yeah. What did you say? What did he say? He says. He said, we represent the Lord of these swamps and the king of all frogs. Emperor Borgulch. He says that again. He says. Yeah, he says it twice. And he says it. He does his best to say it in the exact same tone. Oh, OK.

What do you want? We demand envoy. With the leadership of this town. Wow. OK. Well, we were kind of like standing in. We're deputized. We've been deputized by the mayor. He's too busy. Wait. No, let's. Let's ask the mayor if he wants to talk to these guys. Did he leave? He's gone. Yeah. As you turn around to look in the in the the alleyway that he was, you just see like a mayor shaped cloud of dust dissipates. You almost never see that in real life. If we do not.

If Emperor Borgulch does not have audience and his demands are not meant. Met. But. It will be war. But. OK. All right. Nobody wants a war here, especially against frog people. Borgulch wants war. OK, we'll get you a meeting with the mayor, but he's not here right now. So we need time. Where's can we. Can we like. Make a scheme. Is that what you call plan? Plan a trick. Yeah. I can. One of us pretend. I like this. Is Billy saying this? Yes. Can we make a scheme? Yes.

Billy wants to know, can we make a scheme? OK. What's the scheme, Billy? Well, the mayor is not going to meet with this guy. Can one of us be the mayor? Yeah, Billy's the mayor. OK. Oh, yeah. I didn't. I did not volunteer for this. Well, yeah. Did I? That's what the. I mean, it happens with the mayor. OK. You're nominated by your people. OK. Yeah. The mayor's right here. It's this fat, supple boy.

Somebody's going to have to roll a defy danger like charisma or something to convince them that you're not. Who's got who's going to who's going to go for it? I think because I lied. OK. And if anybody wants to aid, you can you can. I'll aid with bond. Well, how are you aiding? It might make sense if Billy aids because trying to look mayoral in any way. So he wears a raccoon skin. Plus your charisma. Is that. Yeah. Two of those. Yeah. So eight. Yeah. Great. So no.

As long as as long as long as Tacoma succeeds. I rolled a ten. Oh, yeah. So that's great. OK. Um, yeah. So you kind of point you're like, this is this fat job is our mayor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This tiny. Fat halfling is our mayor. And he will meet with your emperor. So he goes very well. His name is Rascal. Flats. Mayor Rascal Flats. Very well, Mayor Flats. You will meet with more gulch.

Emperor of the swamps. King of frogs. Lord of these still waters. Prince of flies. Other. He's like looking frantically frantically his cloth and like trying to remember. He's like, yeah, you will meet by tomorrow at sunrise or it will be war. Wait, can you can you say his name again? I spaced. I'm sorry. Emperor Borg. Oh, does he have any nomenclature? Uh huh. Does he have any nomenclature? Do you have any letters? No. I do not understand. Well, worship. Where do you want to meet?

Where will the emperor be? In his palace? The Palace of Reeds above the swamps? We will find you at the edge of town. Which edge? This. Sunrise tomorrow. Right? Just these two. Okay. Now we all have to stand on one of the edges of town. Great. They hop down, and he toots his little horn again, and he rolls up his ratty piece of cloth and shoves it. What does the horn sound like? Toot, toot. Oh. It's a very cute horn. It's got a little smiley face.

Well, it's a good thing I'm standing hip deep in mud because I peed myself. They start walking away, and the two frogs with the banners, which are just shitty brown pieces of cloth. There's nothing on them. They're just raggedy. They start walking away, and they push their way out of town, and they're gone. They just recede through the buildings, and they are off into the distance. Man, that emperor has a pretty fucking tragic name. Or Gulch. It's almost as bad as his banners.

Sounds like the sound that pudding in a boot makes. If you fill a boot with pudding, and you put your foot in it. I'm familiar. Yeah. I know what that's like. I'm familiar. So, you know, almost as if from thin air, the mayor is at your shoulder. Says, what was that? What happened? What did they want? Dude, where did you go? I had mayoral business to attend to. Fuck. What happened? Well, you weren't here, so we told them that Billy's the… Actually, we're just… Do we need to…

Should we tell him? How big of a… How deep do we want the scheme? How deep do we want the scheme to go? Are we just scheming against the frogs? Are we scheming against the whole town? Girl, let's keep it secret. Yeah, I think it's secret. Let's keep it secret. What did he say? He wants you to wait in a closet for five to ten days. Maybe. You can roll into by danger charisma. Is five to ten days excessive? Yeah. What should I… Okay, maybe until sunset tomorrow. That sounds more fantasy. Okay.

He wants you to wait in a closet until sunset tomorrow. For what reason? He didn't give one. He was a man of few words. Okay, go ahead and roll it. Roll to ten. Yeah. Billy is very good at lying, apparently. Somehow. The mayor goes, Very well, I will remain in my quarters until whatever it is you need to attend to is… Dude, are you fucking deaf? What? Is that a clock? Closet. You can't just be in your room. Your entire quarters is… Like my closet? Like where my clothes are? Yes. Or shoes.

Or linens. He also said that your quarters were to be lent to us for the night. And I just stay in the closet? Yes. That's what he said. Get in the closet, man. Don't come out of the closet. Okay. I am mayor of this town and I will do what is required for my people. Yes. I will be in the closet. And you are free to… I will be in the closet. I will be in the closet. I will be in the closet. I will be in the closet. I will be in the closet. I will be in the closet. I will be in the closet.

And you are free to stay in my quarters, I suppose. Or it's war, they said. War? Well then, I am a patriot if nothing else. And I will be in the closet until sunset tomorrow. Goodbye. Cool. Billy. What? Good lie. Thanks. It's really out of our hair. Do we want him in our hair? It feels like we can run this town now. I think we're… You're the mayor now. Yeah, I feel like we're kind of the mayor until tomorrow at sunset. Heck yeah. Heck yes. Mayor. Yeah, so you have until sunrise tomorrow.

And you're supposed to meet more Gulch. Yeah, should we change some municipal laws before we do stuff? Yeah, what? Let's talk to the sanitation department. This place is disgusting. All right. Wait, can the mayor… Can the mayor make an announcement to everyone before he goes? That's like, these guys are going to be taking care of shit for right now? Yeah, that's a good idea. Do you ask him that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe I'll… He's like, that seems a little excessive.

I'll just be away for the day. But you don't want this town to fall apart while you're gone and this festival? Somebody's got to be in charge while you're gone. And these frog people are threatening war, but they want you in this closet. I just think that you should make somebody in charge and I will be us. I trust my God. I trust the militia. I am a little hesitant to leave the reins of my town in the hands of three strangers. You can make a roll.

You can make a roll to try and convince them again. No, it's fair. We don't need control of your town. We can just scheme them. Very well. If you have any questions, I need to come up with a name. Let's say it at the same time. One, two, three. Billy Corrigan. Wait, what did you say? If you have any questions, please feel free to contact the captain of the guard, Armando. Oh, hot. And he will set you up with anything you require. Till then, I will be in my closet, I guess. Yeah, bring a bucket.

I will find a bucket. And a book. I have many books. And? A turkey. A turkey? A whole. Wait. Is this? For you to bring? Billy's thinking this is good again. This will be for me, but if you require food, there will be food at the… Mansion? At my estate. Quarters. My quarters. My mouth touched the microphone because my lips went out when I said quarters. Quarters. Four quarters and a dollar. Until then, I will see you on the morrow. What's your name again, Mayor? Ah.

Allow me to acquaint you with me. Self. My name is Etienne Boggins. I can't say it. Etienne. Etienne. Is it Etienne? Like Eddie and then the letter N? No, like Etienne. Etienne. Sounds like a French Canadian name. Boggins. Where are you from? Ah, thank you for asking. You can tell by my patois that I'm not from this town. I am from… That's okay. Let's see. I think… Sometimes I can't remember where I'm from. I like… I come from a town to the west called Vertigras.

On the beautiful shores of the Sapphire Sea. Well, that sounds nice. It's wonderful. You really should go. But make sure you come in the summer. The water is particularly vibrant. My voice is getting more and more eloquent. It's because you're heading deep in that closet. I will be in the closet and I will speak to you on the morrow. Good luck. You… The fate of the hot dog festival… I forgot that's what the stakes are. The hot dog festival goes well. It's like 95% of the economy, isn't it?

Yeah, it's true. Like, this doubles the city's revenue, at least. Or the town's revenue. The fate of this hot dog festival and the people within lies firmly on your three sets of shoulders. Okay, thank you for bestowing us with this responsibility. Goodbye. And he… And he… Storms away. Alright, I think we should call light of the card about us being in charge now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's Armando? You guys want to go find Armando? Yeah. Alright. Um…

I want to grab the nearest scared-looking person and yell in their face, Where's Armando? Where is he? Talk, talk, talk, talk. Answer me! It's just like a kid. It's like a 13-year-old boy. You better answer him, kid. Uh… You don't even have to, like… Like, what is… This is a roll? Why wouldn't you just ask somebody? Alright, fine. He just goes, He's over there! And he just points, and there's like a portly gent with a big flowing mustache. Be more specific about what he looks like.

He's the portly gent with the flowing mustache. Okay! Thanks for the information. You're welcome! Cool, here's a coin for you. Thank you, that's very generous. Put him down, Tuck. Mark, take a coin away. You gave this kid a coin. No, you don't have any coins! I gave him just a bag of dirt. He gave him a bunch of dirt. He's like, thank you! And he runs. Yeah. He runs away. He's gone. Oh, man. So there's a man named Armando. I left… Ah, damn it. You gave him your dirt? Yeah, I…

That was the wrong bag of dirt. What bag of dirt did you give him? That was the bag of dirt that had all of my guitar picks in it. Why do you have so many guitar picks? Just in case I needed to jam, man. They're cheap as chips. Yeah. Wait, do you have a guitar? Or do you just have the picks hoping you'll find a guitar? I like carrying them around and then, like, taking them out. And just having people see that you have guitar picks. Yeah, I feel like it creates a cool aesthetic.

Sometimes I'll, like, slip one into one of my leather wrist straps. Cool. And I'll pull one out. It's… It gets gross. But let's go talk to Mark. Let's talk to Armando. So there's just, you know, the… We talked about how the center of town is fairly busy. It's a lot of people, like, getting stalls ready for the Hot Dog Festival. And there's, like, a stage going up. And the man that you believe to be named Armando is there. And he's, like, kind of directing people around.

You know, there are guards walking around, like, carrying crates for people and helping stuff get set up. Excuse me, sir. Yes. Is your name Armando? Well, you could… Yes. I am Armando. All right. Well, we're supposed to help with this, the Hot Dog Festival. The mayor has deputized us. Oh, great. You can just take those crates over there. No, no, no. We don't lift crates. What are you… The mayor has deputized this young man as the mayor. He, like, scrunches his face up and he goes, what?

This young boy is the mayor now. This little tiny kid? Yeah, this little kid is the mayor now. The mayor caught VD and he has to spend two days in a closet. He has to be in the dark for his VD not to take hold. He, like, crosses his arms. He caught vampire disease, man. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's important. Serious. I ain't been a vampire in these parts for a couple years now. I don't know about this. Who are you? He's from the Sapphire Sea. He caught it on the shores of the Sapphire Sea.

I am aware of where I find Mayor Etienne Bonner. Boggins is from. Yeah. Boggins, that's it. Yeah, Boggins. Right, that guy. Somebody's got to roll something. You can't just be like, he's got a vampire disease and his child is the mayor now. Billy, convince him you're the mayor. Here. Hey, little boy. This seems… You can't be… He, like, crouches down because you're, like, two feet tall. So he's, like, squatting and he's like… Billy tries really hard to not blink at all.

And he's like, yes, everything they say is true. In fact, the mayor… Bestowed upon me his personal belongings to take care of while he's recovering from the VD. All right, you're going to have to roll a Defy Danger Charisma. And I help. Six. Six? I help. Oh, okay. Yep, six. All right, so Tuck's going to help. Roll plus your bond. I rolled a nine. Plus your… I rolled a nine. Plus two is 11. Okay, so that puts it at a seven for you.

So you pull out the little thing and it's just, like, a nice little, like, kind of silver metal case. And you show it to him and say, yep, it's all true. And he looks at you and goes… Well, all right then, young man. That sounds great to me. If you're going to be taking over for the mayor, then you will have no problem giving the keynote speech. At the beginning of the festival tomorrow. I think that's great.

We've got anything you need, we can help you with to get you ready for this big speaking engagement. Everybody in the festival is going to be here in the square and you're just going to go up on the stage. Does that sound good to you? Yeah, that sounds great. That sounds perfect. Thank you. What time is the speech supposed to be? The speech is… The speech will be roughly noon. Just after noon. Okay. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Oh, tomorrow. So after sunrise. After sun. Yeah, after.

That is generally when noon is, is after sunrise. I wasn't sure how that happened here. The sun happens. Yeah. Just… The way… Well, it's different. How do they tell time in your town? The sun. Okay, cool. So just when it's generally in the middle of the sky. So it's like our other towns. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It's basically the same. He says, that's great. We'll just, you know, I'll let the boars know not to give you any hard time, Mr. Mayor. And he kind of like ruffles your hair.

Please don't touch the mayor. Yeah. He's, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. Deputy mayor. It's fine. He suffered more than I did, so I'm covered in piss. The mayor said that you were going to give us some walking around money. He was also going to give us some lunches, portable lunches. Lunchables, I think they're called. Lunch. Lunch. Okay. How much was the? Five bucks. Five gold. Five coins. Five coin each. Five coins.

That's something that the mayor's attache would deal with, not the captain of the guard. Okay. We'll just take the key to the city then. Key to the city. He says, you know what? Good point. He pulls out a giant novelty key that says, 2017 key to the city, and he hands it to you. Thank you. That doesn't happen. It doesn't fit in any locks. It fits in one giant lock, the secret lock that only comes out when the moon is high in the sky. Okay. This is exciting. Yeah, right?

I heard that lock is alive, and it's kind of like a vagina. When you said that lock is alive, I was like, cool. And then you were like, it's like a vagina. I was like, dual. Fantasy stuff is weird sometimes. Sometimes you got to fuck a living lock. With a key that is also kind of like a dick. Every lock's like a vagina. Is this two people having sex? Everything's two people having sex. All right. Cool.

He says, if you're looking for food, you can head to the Wallow and Sal and the old Maggie Cole. She'll set you up. Cool. Yeah. Free probably because we're the mayor and his entourage. Yes. You also, I think I overheard you have access to the mayor's estate. Yeah. Yeah. Up in the. Yeah. Up a ways. Up a ways on Cardinal Street. Cardinal Street. Cardinal Street. Yeah. Thanks for the information. No problem. Have a good time. And he turns around and starts pointing at stuff. Okay. That's all.

He just silently is like, point, point, point, point. All right. Cool. We've done it. Pretty good. Good job of taking over this town. Yeah. Yeah. We have this town at least still sun up. Yeah. So, shall we do something about the frog war? Yeah. That's probably a good idea. And that's the game for this week. Thanks for listening. This has been Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. With me as always, players Paul. The mayor said that you were going to give us some walking around money.

Abdul. What? Other cultures are just different. Different sometimes. And Jessica. Hello. I'm sorry. I'm eating. And as always, our technical producer, West Lord. Thanks to Hecklers for letting us record in the upstairs Ratfish Lounge. Hecklers upstairs. Thanks to Aaron Reed for our amazing intro and outro music. And we have been playing Dungeon World, a game by Adam Coble and Sage LaTorah, which is a hack of a game called Apocalypse World by D. Vincent Baker.

You can find all of that stuff on the internet. If you want it. Thanks for listening. And we'll see you next week. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3. Who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly spout no. No.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Last time on Spoutlore. You are traveling to the village of Mudlark. Sorry, Blugblark? Oh, it's real. Piece of shit. It's a hot dog festival. It's kind of like Burning Man. So you guys are traveling in a big cart full of food supplies? Anybody got a name for this food guy? Colonel Dan.

Oh man, we're not getting any further with this tree in the road. A spear blade, like, hammered out. It's a sheared spear. This didn't fall naturally. This was pushed into the road. If I fought the horse, would I win? The horse can get past without getting stuck in the mud. Dan would probably have to leave some of his supplies. He's behind if he wants to get the cart through at all. Okay, well, I'm fine with that.

I guarantee you that if you leave that barrel of shitty sweet meat in the middle of this bog for a hundred years, no one would take it. If you have a single person ask you… Yeah, for sweet meat. For sweet schloss meat, I will give you this amulet with a picture of a horse in it. You know what? No, I'm going to hold on to this, actually. The festival is in, like, a day and a half. I got a bunch of meat. Got a lot of things riding on this. All right, hop in, everybody. Next stop, Mudlark.

Welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. And with me today are players Jessica. My character is Fat Billy. Paul. My character is Ving. And Abdul. At Tacoma Dome. Today we're continuing our Dungeon World game. When do we… Get to our… The hot dog festival? Hot dogs. You travel down along the road. It's not as bad. It's like the fog is starting to let up a little bit. There's, like, bug sounds. It's pretty swampy sounds. But then, as you can see, more signs for, like, Mudlark.

One mile. From the swamp, you just hear, like, a… So it's a croak? It's, like, a big croaky, wet-sounding, just, like, gross noise. Do you know anything about gross? Wet-sounding noises? Yes. Are you trying to remember something about gross croaks? Well, I've experienced a lot of gross wet noises. Croaks. Brokes. Burps. Do I recognize it? It's maybe of an animal? It could be an animal, yeah. That sounds like a Spout Lore. I would like to try and Spout Lore to see if it's an animal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2D6 plus intelligence. 6. It's just, like, Vayne's number one skill is remembering stuff. I want to help him. All right. Sounds great. Plus your bond. 7. 7. All right, great. So you open yourself up to danger, retribution, or cost. Didn't he get 7? Yes. But by aiding, you're also including yourself in this. But isn't this a partial success? Yeah, partial success for him. But you also got 7 to 9. An 8 or interfere.

On a 7 to 9, you also expose yourself to danger, retribution, or cost. But we got partial. So partial success for Spout Lore is that I will tell you something interesting about But not useful. The subject. Okay. Yeah. So something interesting that you remember hearing about the mud fields and the bogs that surround Mudlark in this sort of region is that there are amphibians in the area that get a lot larger. Hmm. Like, a lot larger than your average. Frog or toad. Okay.

Like, there have been stories of frogs that are, like, cow-sized. Man-eaters. Yeah, just, like, gigantic man-eating frogs. Cow-sized frogs? Can you milk them? Meyer frog. Yeah. So you've heard of Meyer frogs, which are, like, just beefy, big-ass frogs. Guys, it could be a Meyer frog. I've heard of those. Fat Billy does not like this. I've also heard of that. I want to leave. Yeah. Billy's, like, 2 feet tall. Like, that's more than small enough to get swallowed whole by a regular-sized frog.

I'm, like, a delicious appetizer. I need to scurry. You're like a house fly to this guy. So is Billy just, like, what does Billy do? Billy, get in this Bjorn. Billy does not want to get into a Bjorn. Billy wants to run. Get on my shoulders. Is Billy going to run? Billy. No, we need you here. We can't see too far. Billy's eyes are wide. I don't know what to do. That says, all right, you know what? It's fine. The town's pretty close. We'll just keep going. We'll keep going.

We'll just stay on the road, and we'll hustle up. Billy climbs into one of the satchels that's hung on the horse. Yeah. No way. In a saddlebag? Yeah. That's a good idea. Should we light some torches? Maybe scare away this frog? Yeah. This giant, possibly giant frog. It sounded like it could be pretty far away. I mean, it could be really close. The trees kind of throw sound in a weird way, so you're not sure if it's, like, closer. God damn these fucking trees. They're ruining this trip.

You break through that swampy, disgusting. Forest. And you just come out onto a nice, big, clear, still disgusting, swampy field. But there's less trees. Did we go the wrong way? Nope. This is the right way. You see, as the sun's starting to, like, fall a little bit through the fog, so it's just a nice gray, bright gray. You see a collection of buildings further down closer. Are we passing peasants as we're driving? Yeah. You're, like, passing through farmland. Can I talk to one of the peasants?

Sure. Yeah. There's just a guy with, like… Kind of a gap-toothed look, like, digging in the mud. Hey, peasant. What? Do you know… Have you guys been having troubles with mire frogs recently? Oh, man. When haven't we been having troubles with mire frogs? When? Yes. Oh, yes. This is valuable information. Hold on. Let me think for a second. Your turn of phrase is confusing to me. Nothing… Nothing lately. A couple of months ago, I heard the… The thugman's kid was pulled off into the woods.

Oh, it's terrible that his name is Thugman. He was eaten by a frog? No, he just… They got him back, but he was just missing a bit. Thugman's, I will have you know, are a proud mudlark family. They've been tending these slop fields for generations, the thugmans. What is your last name? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. Well, I can't say to lay claim to a name as auspicious as the thugman's. My name is… My name is… Well, I can't… My name's Dick Foulsmouth. Do you want me to do a take on Dick Foulsmouth? Yes, please. All right, fine. I can't say that I could lay claim to a name as fine as the thugman's. I'm old Dick Foulsmouth. Fowl's mouth? Fowl's mouth. Fowl's mouth. Fowl's mouth. It's like Fowl's. You gotta loosen up your cheeks. Fowl's mouth. Fowl's mouth. So your first name is Dick.

Dick. And your middle name is Fowl. No, my last name is Fowl's mouth. My middle name is Veronica. Wow. That's beautiful. It's my mother's name. Oh, wow. As is the custom of your land. God rest her soul. I'm dragged off into the woods by my frog. Anyways, I got work to do. Is there anything I can help you find folks with? We're just heading into town for the festival. Oh, the hot dog festival. Yes. The finest event in all of Mudlark, second only to Mud Christmas. When is Mud Christmas?

I don't want you to tell me about that. Oh. Do you want to hear about Mud Christmas? I think we should probably get to the hot dog festival. Wait, but should we find lodgings for the night? Fat Billy, I don't really want to go anywhere in the dark with these frogs. Are we just going to camp out? We're going to party all night. Do we actually need to sleep? Oh, if you're looking for a place to stay, there ain't no finer accommodations in all of Mudlark than the wallow inside. The wallow inside?

The wallow inside. Like a lady pig. Wait, the swallowing cell? The wallow inside. Wow. Okay. Okay. I like the sound of that. You just head on into town. Yes. Get a room from Maggie Cole. Tell her old Dick Fousman sent you. Okay. Thank you, sir. Will she give us a discount or she'll just know that we talked to you? Well, she'll know. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought. You tell her. I ain't forgotten. We'll tell her. Okay. See you later, folks, at the hot dog festival. Okay, bye. Bye, Veronica.

All right. Bye. Digging in the mud again. And Dan whips the horse. Not whips the horse. You know, jangles the reins and the horse carries on. Okay. Into the town of Mudlark. Wow. That guy made me so sad to listen to him. You wanted to stop and talk to him. I appreciate that. At least we know where we're going to stay. We don't have to stay, but I'm feeling a little shiver me timbers right now about this whole Meyer frog situation. But we're heading into town.

They shouldn't bother us in the festival or the town. There's a lot of people around. All right. Yes. And there's. Yeah, exactly. There's a lot of people. So more likely someone else will get taken. If I die, I will curse you. So let's continue. Okay. That's a bond. That's a bond. Yeah. I mean, I will curse you. That's a common thing that halflings say. It's really intense every time. Yeah. I don't know what it means, but I picked it up from a family that I wanted to join once.

A family of halfling warlocks. Yeah. I've been cursing people. For years. So you guys carry on into the town of Mudlark. How big of a town is it? It's probably like, you know, two or three hundred people. It's not huge, but it's not like a village. Human people? What's the race like? I mean, probably mostly human. Yeah. That dick vagina guy seemed pretty much human. I see a few halflings. You see a few halflings? I do. Yeah. From my little coach. What are they doing? They're also digging.

Some of them are carrying things between shops. Oh. And I'm… Is this the lot of halflings? Are they like laborers? They don't like own a lot? Halflings don't own a lot. They like to live with and from the land. And they don't learn much. They just do simple things. Interesting. Because they are small, too. They are literally closer to the land. They are. It's in the spirit of the halfling. It is what defines you. They have many sayings. What's one of them? What's one more?

One saying is the closer to the ground, the more… I can't remember because no one really said them to me. I just had to hear them from passing. So what about being closer to the ground and then something more happened? And then in my mind, I was like, that's a good thing. To be closer to the ground? Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. Interesting. Interesting. The closer to the ground, the more you will be… Loved. In my mind. The more love you will find in the dirt. In the dirt. Love in the dirt. Hmm.

Is Billy just… His mind is just full of half-remembered halfling turns of phrases? Yeah, Billy is very sad right now. Oh, man. There's many tears that he wishes to let out, but he has to be strong. Jeez. Jeez. It's okay. Man. Okay. Hey, Billy, do you want this granola bar? I was saving it. No, I don't. Are you sure? Yes. It's dipped in chocolate. Okay. Okay. Here you go. Oh. Oh, man. So, you guys, yeah, you roll into the main square, like the center of Mudlark.

And it's like, you know, when you think of like a town square, it's that sort of thing. There's like a little kind of plinthy dais thing in the center with some cobbly stones. It's mostly muddy dirt roads around. There are a lot of people. There's a lot of activity. People are setting up for the hot dog festival. There's a lot of carts going up, and there's a stage. They're putting up a stage near… Hmm. The center for like, you know, whatever stages are used for in this town.

There's a lot of effluent youths. A lot of effluent, like… Affluent. Affluent. Effluent means feces? Bunch of shitty kids. So, there's effluent and affluent youths. Yes. So, yeah, there's like some finer dressed people, but… In town for the festival. It's a pretty dirty town. It's a hot dog festival. But it's a big hot dog festival. It's popular. Okay. It's actually something that we could talk about. Why do people come from all around? Is it just the food is so good?

I think also it has to do with that it's a really shitty place to get to. It's dangerous. Yeah. And it sucks, and it's far away. So, it's about the act of the people who actually go there. It's like a pilgrimage. It's almost like a pilgrimage. And like, it got really cool amongst the affluent teens because they wanted to really like dirty up. They wanted to really like, you know, live like the other half-lives. Yeah. Okay. So, it's a lot of rich people that just want to have… Yeah.

It's a lot of rich people that just want to have… Hang out around poor people to make them feel like they've done something with their lives. Mm-hmm. Okay. So, it is like Burning Man. It's just like… It's just Burning Man. Awesome. Okay. Cool. Yeah. So, you see like… There's a giant hot dog sculpture in the middle that gets burned at the end of the weekend. The Oscar Mayer guy. You see a lot of…

So, you see a lot of like who you assume are like the villagers of Mudlark, like the townspeople. And they look like how you would expect people that have had hard lives. And then you see people that look like they're wearing the costume of like a hard life. Like things that are ripped but like very deliberately. And like they have like mud on their faces but like in interesting patterns instead of just like where mud would fall on your face if you were digging in the river. Okay.

So, one thing that you have heard about Mudlark is the river that was Mudlark runs up to one of the bigger cities. And treasure and equipment and all this sort of like cool… You know, some of these small valuable stuff would wash down the river and get stuck in the soil and the mud. So, this town was founded by Mudlarks which are people that dig through the muddy basis of rivers to find valuable things to sell. So, Mudlarking is a thing that people still do in Mudlark.

It's mostly farmers but people still will dig in the river. Is that what Dick Veronica was doing? Veronica was just a farmer. You were farming. Yeah. Just trying to tend crops. The town. So, there's a cluster of like big buildings. That is like… Like the center of the town of Mudlark. And then there's farms on either side and further up and down the actual bed of the river. There are people where people will Mudlark dig through the mud for valuable things.

And that I think is probably where, what we talked about earlier, the town of like boats that just kind of were left from the river. So there's clusters of old boats, big boats, like galleons and river boats and that sort of stuff that are just stuck in the mud forever. And people have just turned those into their homes. So there's like the boat towns on either side. And then the central village of Mudlark. I had a thought. I think Fat Billy's parents might've tried to do this earlier on.

And that's where, not where, but probably when he was orphaned. Tried to do. Mudlarking. Because it was like a method of like gaining wealth. Oh, so they died mudlarking? Or like maybe on the route. He doesn't know. He doesn't know what happened to his parents. They went to Mudlark to dig in the river. If it's something that people travel, for it must, there must be rumors of like actual, some big deal stuff in the, in the river. Like that there's still something there. Not that it's all been.

Yeah. That's like, you know, that makes sense why they like people still dig all the time. Yeah. Yes. Also why this festival is here. Yeah. Do you think people come to Mudlark as well as the hot dog festival? Well, traditionally that's what the hot dogs is. The traditional food. Oh, the mudlark. So is it a mud? So it's a hot dog festival, but it's also a mudlarking festival. So it's like, people will come in, like eat the food. No, I thought it was like the people who live there. Mudlark.

And then I think the people that come to the festival, they play at mudlarking. Or maybe they come with the guys of festival, but they really want to. Oh, so it's people that come for the festival and they're like, oh yeah, I'm just here for these sweet hot dogs, but they're actually here to like, try and find their treasure of their lifetimes. And the locals don't like it. Don't. Cause you're not. So what, if you're not, is that, is everybody allowed to dig?

I think the locals probably don't allow non-locals to dig. There's a, there's a unwritten rule that it's very rude to go to mudlark and. And dig in the mud. Yes. It's like working in Australia. Awesome. Okay. So non-locals aren't allowed. Yeah. It's probably some kind of like mafioso. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a crime boss that like controls all the mudlarking. Yeah. Yeah. I guess. Permits. I mean, it makes you probably live on like a big, like a big, like ship sometime somewhere out in the ship.

Maybe there's no Meyer frog. Maybe they. Wait, maybe there's no, what? Maybe the Meyer frogs are like a way of scaring people. Anyway, these are all rumors. This is all hearsay. Yes. Cool. Yeah. So yeah, the village is being set up and you can see a sign on a, on a, one of the bigger buildings in town. And you can see that there's like smoke coming out of the chimneys. It all looks very cozy. And there's like a stable to the side and you see a sign. And the sign is just a cutout of a pig.

With its legs out. And it's like covered in mud up to its eyes. And you, you take that to be the wallowing Sal. Oh yeah. Yeah. Should we go get a room? Oh, so Dan's like, all right, I guess this is a, I guess this is me. I'm going to set up you guys. Are you guys, you guys are sticking around for the festival, right? And then you're going to take me back. That's the plan. Yeah. That was the deal we had. So yeah. All right. Yeah.

What are you guys going to, what are you guys getting paid by the way? What do you think is a fair payment? Seems weird to negotiate it now. We all just sleep on it. What do you guys think? Well, I just figured we didn't set out the terms. Really. I just said that I'd pay you and I'm a man of my word. So what do you guys think is fair? Five, five coins a piece, five coins a piece. Done. There and done. Five coins a piece. What? Done. See you later guys. I'm going to go set up. No. Okay.

This is a parlay. Wow. No, this is a parlay situation. Billy, you fucked us so hard. Oh, okay. We need money, Billy. This is, we came three days in. Forget what you heard. 20 coins a piece. That seems pretty steep. You did say five and we agreed on five and now you're saying 20 a piece? I didn't say five. All right. I don't remember that. So this is a parlay. What's your leverage? Well, it's a parlay if you have leverage. Can I? I found a nice rock.

It's like, look, kid, that's a beautiful rock doing great. We'll, we'll advertise for you. We'll do one. We'll do walk around and do some flaring for you. Yeah. We'll tell people that your schloss meat's better than the crab cakes. We can tell rumors about how, about the other schloss meats. Yeah. It's like aphrodisiac schloss meat. This gorilla jerky gets you hard as fuck. All right. If you guys want to do a little bit of advertising, for me. Okay. Roll the, roll the parlay.

This is a Billy rolling it. Yeah. Billy's the it's, it's charisma, right? Yeah. Damn. Yes. 12. Jessica's rolling like a pro. Yeah, man. All right. So he says, all right, you know what? If you guys are going to advertise for me, uh, we'll agree on 20 coins a piece, I suppose. Uh, it seems fair, but that's 20 coins a piece for the whole deal. Taking me to my Larkin, taking me back. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. 20 coins a piece at the end of the festival. When we get back to town, you get 20.

How much does a sword cost here? Oh, that's a great question. Actually. I was thinking about that because Jessica started with 10, which is like not nothing. Yeah. It seems 20 seems like a good amount of money for a job. Yeah. Uh, yeah. So coin is sort of like valuables. Like that's like the loose definition. Cause you can find like, say you find a gem, the gem could be worth 10 coin. Yeah. Uh, so that is basically 10 coin worth of money. 10 coin worth of gems.

So weapons are actually pretty cheap. Uh, like a dagger is two coins. Oh, okay. Five coins. Okay. But then when you get to like pricier stuff, like a dueling rapier, which is like a nice, fancy, expensive rapier, that's 50 coins. Like stuff can be really expensive. Armor is especially expensive. If you want like a suit of plate mail, that's 350 coins. Wow. Stuff can be really expensive or really cheap. The usual stuff that you'll find, like you can find a sword on any, any schlub. Yeah.

That's going to be like three or four coins, you know? So yeah. So it's 20 coins is not an unreasonable sum of money for dragging somebody's ass through a huge swamp and then dragging it back. So that's fair. 20 coins. Here's some pamphlets. Dan slosh meat, schloss meat. Okay. And uh, yeah, just hand them out and I'll see you guys at the end of the festival and we'll head back home. And uh, and he, and he hustles it off to his like area of the town square to start setting up.

And you see like, there's this like kind of ragged, looking like middle aged man. He's got like, he's like kind of young, but he's still got like graying facial hair and graying hair. It's kind of long. He's wearing like a fine coat for somebody in mud Lark. And he's got like a big shiny badge. Is it a black coat? It's like a, like a purple, like a purpley sort of super fine. Yeah. But it's like kind of ragged. He's got this big shiny badge on his chest and he's running around.

He's like, don't put that there. You're supposed to put that over there. We got to get these banners up on the stage. If we don't get them up soon, this whole festival could be garbage. It could be garbage. And he's running around and he's freaking out. Wow. Real Niles crane over here. He kind of like hustles up to you guys. He's like, this horse can't, the horse can't be where it is. The horse has to move. The cart has to move. The horse, you have to move these things now. Okay.

Dan's moving them. He's yeah. Move them quickly. I am. You don't just stand around. I am the mayor of this village. Oh, you're the mayor. Yeah. I offer that information freely. This is my town. Hello, mayor. My name is Bing. I'd like to know your name. I don't care. I don't care what your name is. My name wants to hug the mayor. He's just going to hug the mayor. It's like, what is this thing? What, what, what is this small thing? Is this a child? Yes. That kind of pushes you away.

Nice to meet you. Okay. His eyes kind of soften a little bit. He's like, hello, welcome to the village of mud log, but I need to get ready for this festival. And my, my accent is going in and out of various things. I'm having trouble sticking on one voice. Should we try and make some more money and see if we can offer help? I think that's a good idea. Do you, um, Hey, we're, we're mercenaries for hire. Mercenaries in mud log. Yeah. So we can like move boxes or whatever you need.

Is that what mercenaries do? Yeah, man. Like we, anything for money, mostly labor. I can turn into bees. You could turn into what? Bees. Like the bug, like the bunch of bugs. What is this nonsense? Turning into bees. I've been meaning to ask you about that. When you turn into a hive of bees, yeah, hive mind. Yeah. It was, it is like, like, does your dick, is your dick some of the bees? My dick turns into a multiple bees. It turns into a dick's weight of bees. Wow. This is ridiculous.

I have things to do. People talking about turning into bees, small children hugging me. You're very sweet, but you need anything. Can we help? Can we, do you need this festival to go off without a hitch? Can you, can you, can you make that happen? No, I didn't think so. Bee man. Well, what if we, what do you, do you need, like, security? Yeah. I mean, I suppose so. We heard a mire frog on the way into town. People are going to be freaking out. You heard a what? I don't know, but we've been told.

I've heard of mire frogs, and we heard this awful sound. What is a, what is a what? What? A what? Is there a danger? No, it's probably fine. It was in the bog. It's probably, it's the bog, the bog that I can see from where I stand in the center of town. Well, you might want somebody. You're telling me there's a large frog outside? It could be. That's what. And it's going to be fine? It could be fine. And we don't know. That's what we're saying. Maybe you want us to help. I just, I don't know.

Okay. He like, come, come, come, come, come, come, come. And he like walks into an alley. Do you guys follow him? Yeah. Yes. Jessica's making it like. I took something from him though. You took something from him? Oh, you hugged him. Okay, roll. I want it. I want this to happen, but you need to roll a defy danger dexterity. Seven. Seven. So, so the mayor is not looking. He will not see you take this thing, but someone in the village will. Byrie took it when I hugged him.

Oh, is that why you hugged him? Yeah. Oh, you sneaky little. All right. So what did you take? I took a little metallic wallet, sort of very small, sort of like the size of like a business card. Like that. That sort of thing. Oh, like a little metal case. Yeah. Okay. And you just slipped it in? All right. From his pocket. Yeah. Okay. So someone in town did see that. And, okay. So the mayor leads you, um, into the alley.

And, uh, he is just kind of like looking around, making sure that nobody's paying attention. There's like, he like waves over a guard and like a raggedy sort of thing with the club. And he's standing at the alley, making sure nobody comes past into the alley. He's like, it is of the utmost importance to me and my office in the very sanctity of the hot dog festival, that things go off without a hitch.

I'm, I'm willing in this situation, to deputize the three of you as official enforcers of the mayor's office of mudlark to ensure that everything goes the way it should. Does this interest you? The way it should, or the way you want it to? Is there a difference? Well, I'm the mayor of this town. I have only the interests of this town and its townspeople at heart. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Well, what is it? What does deputy pay?

Well, I am willing to set you up with the finest lodgings in mudlark for free, for free room and board and a front row festival or a front row seat for each of you to the hot dog parade. VIP. If there were a VIP section, I assure you, you would be included. What say you? You didn't say how much we'd get paid. Hmm. I believe I said the lodgings would be free. I believe that we are going to need to see some gold as well or coin.

Well, I don't understand how you are in a position to do bargain right now. Well, I just think we need like a per diem. Okay, fine. Five coins per day per diem for expenses. Yeah. Per person. Per person. Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah, we'll do it. Yeah. All right. Wonderful. Thank you very much. Just, uh, let's shake on it. Shake all of our hands. Touch our Billy. Touch Billy. Oh, he does all of those things. I suppose I'm a desperate man.

And then you hear like a, like a horn, sort of like raggedy horn sound. And he stops and he goes, what, what, what is that? And everybody's starting to hustle around. You hear some like weird screams. And, um, you see some figures push their way into the center of town. And you hear a bunch of croaks. And as they like get closer and people start like, like backing away, it's four frogs standing on their hind legs with spears and like ragged, muddy armor.

And they're carrying like banners that are just like crappy brown pieces. Of fabric. Like the front two are each carrying a banner. The two behind them are carrying spears. And like one of them is holding like a bent beat up metal horn. Their chests are all puffed up and they're like walking really importantly. And they're like kind of snapping at people and making like croaking, like, like as people walk by, they walk right up to the middle, like stone central dice.

And one hops up and he goes like, everyone. I represent. The king of all these swamps, all the mud. You see. Emperor. More gulch. Lord of frogs. Wow. People here have terrible names. All right. This has been Spout Lore. We have been playing Dungeon World by Adam Coble and stage Latour, which you can find at dungeon hyphen world.com and apocalypse world by D Vincent Baker, which you can find at apocalypse hyphen world.com. We've been playing with Jessica. So patronizing. Paul.

20 side of die to see if I can catch the bus on time. And Abdul. Billy wanted to like drop a drop, a smooth beat. And our producer was Lord. Thanks Wes. And thank you to Aaron Reed for our amazing theme music. Uh, I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara and. Oh, and thanks to hecklers for letting us use the upstairs hecklers lounge for recording. And yeah, thanks for listening. And so ends the day. Tale of adventures. Three who tried the best. They can. Dumb and scared and lost.

Maybe for times of breast in. And though our journey may be. We will not leave you. Without resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I gladly. Spout. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Welcome to Spout Lore, a Dungeon World podcast where we are playing the Dungeon World RPG by Adam Kovach. It's available in Sage Latoura. It is a hack of a game called Apocalypse World by D. Vincent Baker. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. We're here with the players. Hi, how's it going? Good, how are you? I'm very good, I'm very excited.

Paul, tell me about your character. My character is Ving Zumba. I'm a druid, human, neutral good, change shifter, shapeshift. Yeah, druid shapeshift. Yeah, I'm hailing from those frozen plains, let me hear you. Do we have anybody from the frozen plains here? This guy knows what I'm talking about. I got a staff, a bunch of flaps, poultices. Ving's got wild, crazy kind of grayish hair, lots of pelts, different hides, almost like a skirt of hides, and then hides around his forearms.

And also he has gills. He has gills? Yeah. Why does he have gills? Well, that's what defines him. Oh. Oh, right. When he changes his… Druids. Yeah, they have to have it. Druids always have a tail that sticks with them as they change shapes, so… Like an arctic char. Yeah, like an arctic char. Like an arctic char. So Ving has gills like an arctic char, and if you were to turn into a polar bear, that polar bear would also have gills like an arctic char.

He puts his crazy wild hair over his gills, so nobody sees him, like Kevin Costner would if he ever made a movie about that. All right, yeah, I like it. I assume that we'll know more about them as we go. Yep, that is one of the tenets of Dungeon World, is play to find out what happens. Just like real life. Just like real life. And next, Abdul Aziz. Hey. Hey, Abdul. Tell me about your character. I play Tacoma Dome. He's a barbarian who has a lot of emotional problems.

He was abandoned as a baby, and he blames himself for that. But he was raised by… A used cart dealer in the city of McCall. His name was Bruce Spruce. And he instilled good values in me until he died when I was four. And then I left, me as Tacoma. Tacoma left town because he was chased out of town. And then he lived as a man of the world, a child of the world, for years. Like as a sword for hire for a while. And then he was part of a… A band for a little while. Like a band?

Like a music band? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What does… Does he play an instrument? He played the bass. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Yeah. And he got really into opium for a couple of years. And then he found barbarism again. He rediscovered it. And he's kind of been… Like kind of rediscovering himself through the violence that he inflicts on people that he thinks deserve it. Describe Tacoma. What does Tacoma look like? I, uh… I'm tan of skin and large of thigh. Uh, I'm bald of head by choice.

I'm wearing a leather loin guard. Uh, I have an axe strapped across my back. I'm very… Very large. Yeah, like large for a person. Like too large. Yes, I'm maybe… I'm like seven feet tall. Whoa. Wowzers. That's a big boy. Yes. I'm a muscular seven foot. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. I'm in a bulk phase right now. Uh, I do a lot of, uh… Plyometric exercises. Is that a thing? Is that a fantasy thing? Um, yes and no. Hmm. Is that why you stopped… Wearing pants? Because they always wore out in the crotch?

They wore out in the middle where it would… It would rub. Hmm. Um, so… And it was constricting for barbarism. I didn't… I didn't get a good range of motion. You could probably light a match off your inner thigh. You could. If you put a match there, I could probably light it. What is a festival that Tuck remembers from McCall that he misses? Oh, there was the fireworks festival. Mm-hmm. Uh, everyone would buy fireworks and go into balconies and then fire them into other balconies. Ha ha ha!

Uh… What was the purpose of this festival? Was it to, like, settle scores with other families? It… Officially, it was to celebrate the birth of the prophet of fire. So that officially is it, and then unofficially, yes, it is to settle scores with your neighbors. Ha ha ha! Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Most of the, uh, structures in Macau are made of straw or wood. Oh, shit. Mm.

So once every four months, the whole city burns to the ground. Mm. Uh, and, uh, that was always a very, uh, heartwarming time. Quite literally. Yes. Uh, many die. Ha ha ha! It's a beautiful festival. Mm-hmm. That's nice. The prophet of fire. I want to, we're going to explore more of that later. That's, does, is, is Tuck religious at all? I acknowledge the possibility of the existence of the prophet of fire and the, the god of the flame, but I also… God of the flame, you're really laying it on.

God of the flame. I also have seen no conclusive evidence for it. If he is truly a vengeful and hateful god, I don't believe the god of the flame would care if you believed in him or not. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That the most logical position is to just be an agnostic. Mm-hmm. Ving, you travel with an ag, with a guy that's, spirits might exist, but Ving knows they exist. Yeah. Right?

Is that, is that the, that's the source of… Well, I think most elves know of the spirit world, right? Well, I believe in ghosts. I've fought ghosts. Fought ghosts. Yes. It's the same thing, right? The spirit world's what lets me travel between bodies. So that's what, you travel into the spirit world. Yeah. And then you come back in a different body. I'm traveling within the spirit world, but yeah. Okay. And that's what allows Ving to like change shape? Yeah. That's pretty dope.

How, how old is Tacoma? Cause this is a lot of… Like mid twenties now. He's had a long life. He's, well, like he did, he lost the only father he had ever known in that freak cart accident. Yeah. There's, there's a stack of carts that fell over. Hello. Hi, Jessica. Tell me about your character. My character is Fat Billy and he is very, he's very fat. Fat Billy is a halfling kid. He's very small, very round. I think he's about seven to nine. Seven to nine. Maybe nine to 10. Is that?

Can we go seven to 10? It's true. I guess nobody would really tell him how old he is. No one knows. Billy doesn't know. So how big is that for a halfling? It's small. Like two feet, you know? Cause he's a big boy. Well, he's the same size lying down. Yeah, exactly. He's very dirty. He has small feet and hands. A very rosy face. Does he have a bulbous nose? No, it's very small. Oh. So he's just small and like chubby and has like tiny hands. He's just little.

The thing about halflings is it's hard to tell their age. Tuck is right. Is this something Tuck's had experience with? Yeah. Well, it's hard to tell, you know? You meet a halfling and you're like… Hey, do you want to come on a quest? And then the halfling goes, yes. And then turns out you have a child with you. We thought he was in his forties. Is that how Tuck and Fat Billy met up? Is you assumed that he was older? Well, that's more how our fellowship formed. All three of you?

We have a child with us. And we thought we are happy with him now. When we recruited him originally. We thought that he'd be helping. I did nothing to dissuade… No, no, yeah. To convince you of my age. It was assumptions. Yes. And now look at us. Yeah, it's just hard to tell halflings. What class is Fat Billy? He's a thief. What sort of stuff does the thief do? Like what does Fat Billy do? Yeah, what's his life like? His life is lonely. It's lonely. He's on the road a lot.

On the road with his friends? No. No? Not until now. Until now. Oh, but before this he was alone. Before this, yeah. So we are friends. I hope so. Where halflings come from, water is scarce? It was a lot of farming, but I think it was mostly scarce because no one would let Fat Billy have water. Oh, like Billy, it was scarce to Billy. Yes. Oh, okay. What's the halfling country like? Is it pretty farmy? A little bit, some parts, but they're like little farms. Okay. Everyone has their own.

They have their own farm. Oh. But they share, families will share, but I didn't have a family, so no one shared with Fat Billy. So he left? No, he was kicked out. Oh, right, because he burned down grain silos. He might have built, maybe. Allegedly. Allegedly. He might have burned down something. Accidentally, deliberately, who knows? Was it an accident? Always. Yes. For real, though. This is me. You're talking to Tacoma. Yes, it was. Yes. Huh. Still some denial, I see. No. Fat Billy's ashamed.

Billy, if I light this match on my thighs and I hand it to you, what will you do with it? I might drop it. I don't really know how to handle flames. Okay. But I'll do my best. Don't do it, Tac. I won't. I'm not going to give it to him. I'm a small child. Why would you give me an open flame? Yes. I'm just, I wanted to see how he would react. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

The three of you have been on the road for a couple days, and you are traveling to the village of Mudlark. Sorry, Blugblark? Bloodblark. Yeah, it's a lot of Ys. No, it's just Mudlark. Mudlark. It's a small town, and I want you guys to tell me what the environment around Mudlark is like. Oh, it's a real piece of shit. Boggish. Yeah, it's… Pretty boggy. It is muddy. It's mud. I can't tell if it's steam or if it's fog. I can't see through it. It's a mud fog. It's a red mud fog. The mud is red?

Yeah, but there's birds. Yes, mud birds. It is definitely a bit of a stinking mire. Stinking mire. Yes. The old stinking mire. Great. It reminds me of a woman I knew. Her name was Janine. And she shoplifted a lot because there was an emptiness inside of her. And she needed the thrill of theft to fill that emptiness. I know. Yeah. I know what that's like. That's what this place feels like. It's like you're hanging out with Janine. Like you're looking in Janine's empty eyes. Her blue…

Muddy eyes. Great. So as you were saying that for 45 unbroken minutes, you hear next to you just a painful just… Because you guys are escorting somebody to the village of Mudlark for a festival. Who are you escorting? I'm… Paul. Ving, who are you escorting? Paul. The food cart guy. It's a food cart guy. Yeah, he's in charge of all the meals. Oh, heck yes. Okay. So is it a cart with food in it? Or is it a cart that is just going… No, with ingredients in it. It's not food. Ingredients.

Okay, what kind of food is this guy going to be making? All sorts of fantasy food. Schloss steaks. Schloss steaks. Smoked schlarken and ribs. Mustards. Mustard. Many mustards. All right, so it's just like… I don't know why he's in such a panic, but he is. This guy's really worked up. Yeah, okay. Over his food. This guy. So do we have a name for this guy? Dan. Dan. Colonel Dan. Colonel Dan. Is his first name Colonel or was he a Colonel? I think that they just call him the Colonel.

Oh, they call him the Colonel. Colonel is his title. Yeah. Colonel Dan. No last name. Fosse. Fosse. Dan Fosse. Is Dan Fosse a guy that we know? I don't know. It sounds like it, doesn't it? Sounds good. Is that the guy that made all those musicals? No, he hung out with gorillas in the mist. That's the one. Oh, Diane Fosse. There you go. That's who we're thinking about. Great. So you're taking Colonel Dan Fosse to the village of Mudlark with his cart full of food. It's meat that has been…

Kebabbed. Yes. Kebabbed, then pulled, then kebabbed again. It's just a lot… Is that what a schloss is? It is. It is. This is what you guys… You guys have been learning all about this over the last couple of days as Colonel Dan's been like… It's a real Bubba Gump kind of thing. Where he's just like schloss parfait, schloss salad, schloss sandwiches. Yes. Schloss salad. Real schloss. Boiled schloss. It's just for two full days.

And the one of the other things that I want you guys to tell me is what is the festival in Mudlark? Why is everybody going to Mudlark? Jessica. Fat Billy. It's a hot dog. It's a hot dog festival. It's a hot dog festival? Yes. That's what all the mustards are for. Okay. Yeah. Oh, so is he taking the schloss stuff as like… Is there a type of hot dog that's made out of this meat? That's what a hot dog is called in this town. The pulled meat gets reformed into a hot dog formation.

It's served on a bun with many condiments. And people love it. People just love hot schloss. There is… It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. It's so good. That's why they come to this nasty hellhole. I'm excited. I'm excited. Okay, yeah. It's kind of like Burning Man. So describe to me how it is. It's kind of like Burning Man? Yeah. Yes. But with like hot dogs? Yeah. And Stinking Mire. Yeah. People come a long ways away and they don't know why they're there and everyone's got flaps on.

Yeah. Well, because all the steam and or fog and or mist, you have to like aerate the air. There's a ton of air. Oh, it gets, like, swampy? Yeah. It's like a test to see who would go the distance. That acts as a filter, so you only get like-minded people at this hot dog festival. Oh, I see. So people will stop before they get to Mudlark because it's so gross. Yeah, so there's going to be a lot more annoying people at this festival. If Colonel Dan's anything.

Festival has its own economy that is based on free love. And hot dog meat. Yeah. Tubular dudes. Yes. There's a, I hear sometimes that there's a pirate ship. I've heard of the pirate ship. Yes. So there's, wait, is there a pirate ship just in the mud, or does a river go through Mudlark? A river runs through it, yes. I thought Mudlark was the river, and the river dried up, and now Mudlark lies within the dried up river. Oh, yeah. Gotcha.

So it's like it was once a river, and now it's just a big mud field. Follow the mud. Delta land. Yeah, like in The Wizard of Oz, except the Golden Road is mud. And poo. I heard that people live in boats that are stuck in the mud. Yeah. That's pretty dope. Yes. Boats stuck in the mud. All right. So you guys are escorting Colonel Dan to Mudlark for the hot dog festival. He's probably like in his like- 110. He's 110 years old. Whoa. Because he is- He's an elf. He's an elf? Yes.

So 110 is like a smooth 30, 30, 40? Yeah, he was younger. Not a lot of elderly elves will own a food cart. That's true. It's more of like an early in life sort of thing. Before enlightenment. Now, is Ving not part elf? Ving is part elf. Okay. So how are Ving and Dan getting along? Well, I'm embarrassed by that connection. Also, Ving really likes to cook. Oh. Right? He's a good poultice. He can make things from the land. So this guy going on about hot dogs. It's just a little too close to home.

And he's an elf. So he doesn't want to be identified with this guy. Okay. But he feels a kinship nonetheless. Like a family thing. You know, like a cousin who comes up to you at a bar and rubs your back before you know who's there. Fat Billy doesn't know what this is like to have family. Yes, neither does Tacoma. Well, it's annoying. Oh, would that I knew the frustration of the touch of family. Of the familiar blood. Yes. Of the- Comforting caress. Yes. Well, I think you're lucky.

The touch of skin that covers blood that is like mine. I have never known. That's fair. I've never seen anyone like you, Tac. I have- A brown person? Yeah. I'm from the frozen north elf man. That's true. So what are Tac and Fat Billy doing in the cart while they're- I've eaten a lot. I have also eaten a lot and I don't want them to know. So you've just been like- You've stolen a lot. Maybe. You've just in the back like gorging like a raccoon. Yes. Yes. But how's Fat Billy feeling about this?

Well, pretty good. Because he- He doesn't know. He's just like, why not? So Tacoma is in the back with Fat Billy, I guess, eating. What is- Describe Tacoma. What does Tacoma look like? I'm lying on the ground in the back of the cart with a pile of jerky on my tummy. And I- What I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm flicking it up into the air and catching it in my mouth. And I'm going, woohoo. And Billy's- Billy's back there with Tacoma eating the jerky? Yeah. Great.

It's like I'm eating the ones that he's missing. So I just run around him and I collect the rest. Well, Fat Billy doesn't believe in waste, so. Yes. That's reasonable. Yes. The halflings are very- They believe in balance. Yes. And vulturism. Yes. Scavengers, traditionally. So Ving, you're up front with Dan while these two are in the back and you're kind of having conversations through the hole in the cart in this covered wagon. And it's very foggy to either side.

You're on a muddy road going into the boggy region surrounding Mudlark. And there's thick, white, smelly, kind of like gaseous fog. You can't really see that far in front of you. And so the horse is kind of struggling along in the mud. Yanking the cart along and out of the fog on the road. There's just a big fallen tree right across the road. And Dan kind of pulls over. He's like, whoa. Oh, man. We're not getting any further with this tree in the road.

You guys want to take care of this or something? My knees are tired. I don't want to get up. There's no way around. It's just swamp on either side. Like just right into swamp. I'll just hop right out. I'll take it. Take a crack at what's happening. Yeah. All right. Billy, do you want to come? I'll let you ride on my shoulders. Okay, I'll do that then. So Tuck and Billy jump out of the cart. Billy riding on Tuck's shoulders like the kid from the Iron Giant.

And right into the slimy mud and the fog. And you walk around to the front of the cart. And there's just like a big, huge, like probably four feet across. Just a big tree trunk right across the road. Can his axe take care of it? Can you give her a chop? I mean, that would probably take a long time to cut through. What if we leave the cart? Dan says, no way. This got all my schloss meat in it. I'm not leaving this cart behind.

Also, there's no way we'd make it through the rest of this fog without shelter. We can't move. It's too heavy to move. You haven't tried moving it yet. Oh, let's try and move it. I was going to just throw the horse over the tree. Oh, yeah. Instead of moving the tree, you were going to pick a horse up? Yes. I bet the tree weighs more than a horse. I guess so. Yeah. I mean, it seems like the easier thing to do. Can I assess the situation? How would Billy be assessing the situation?

Like, maybe he can… Let's gravel up that tree, see what's going on. Yeah. What's on the other side? Yeah, what's on the other side? Sounds great. Is there a way through here that I can't see? Yeah. All right. That sounds like a discern realities. All right. So you're going to roll 2d6 plus wisdom. Okay. 12. 12. Damn. Yes. Unmitigated success. That's incredible.

So on a 12, you get three questions from this list, and you take plus one forward when you're acting on the answers that you get from these questions. So the questions you can choose from are what happened here recently, what is about to happen, what should I be on the lookout for, what here is useful or valuable to me, or who's really in control here, and what here is not what it appears to be. Can I do what happened here recently? What happened here recently?

What happened here recently is this tree. You can see sort of like by the way the roots like came out of the mud, like on the far end. This didn't fall naturally. This was pushed into the road. Okay. So Fat Billy scratches his little chin, and he's like, what should I be on the lookout for then? All right. You think that you should probably be on the lookout for whatever pushed this over, whatever or whoever. No, seriously. I know. It's not going to give you all the answers.

You want, but a lot of the times this isn't going to give you the answers that you need. So something pushed this over. So you think that if they're not here now, that they might be here soon. Okay. What else? What else is Fat Billy wondering? So there's, yeah, the other ones you haven't asked are what is about to happen, what here is useful or valuable to me, who's really in control here, what here is not what it appears to be. Okay. Fat Billy wants to know what here is valuable or useful.

Um, okay. So Fat Billy's kind of scrabbling around on top of the log, looking around, going like, oh, somebody, something pushed this over. And in the mud, um, near the base of the tree off the side of the road, you can see something shiny sticking out of, oh, of the mud just a little bit. Get it, Billy. Okay. I'm going to try to get it out. Okay. Wait, but what is it? At first, Billy's like, oh, yeah. Shiny stuff. I'm into this.

Billy digs it out of the mud and it's a spear blade, like hammered out. So it's not like professionally forged or if it was, it's been used a lot. Cause it's been like repaired really haphazardly kind of just like smashed with something hard, like a hammer or a rock. And it snapped off just below the blade. So there's a sheared spear, sheared spear, spear was sheared. So it's pretty small then if it's a spearhead. Yeah. It's about like eight or nine inches long. Yeah.

And it's just like a, like a kind of roughly adhered to a broken piece of shaft. Can I see that? Can I look at it? Yes. All right. I want to, I want to look at it. I want to see if I can recognize the make or the material or anything. If I know anything about it. Yeah. So that'll be a Spout Lore, which you will roll 2d6 plus intelligence. Okay. Six. Oh, a six? Six. Six. Six. Six. Six. Six. Six. Six. Six. Six. Six. Oh, that's a, that's a failure. So you mark an experience point.

Cause you're in Dungeon World. You always get an experience point when you fail. That's like one of the main ways to get experiences to fail something. Okay. Uh, let me see the spear. Well, no, no, no. Actually. Yeah.

Maybe that, no, like maybe that's the failure is that instead of you getting a good look at it, I'll look at it, but I feel like the failure should probably be on faith instead of, Oh, we can't just, we can't just, we can't just, we can't just, we can't just, we can't just pass it around. Well, anyway, so you're like trying to like, you're looking at the spear and you're like, where, what do I know about this? And you realize, I don't know a lot about this spears.

Uh, but it looks like it was made, uh, like this is probably just something that somebody lost on the way. There's no chunks of wood on it. I guess I failed. You did fail. So what you, what, what Ving believes is that, Oh, this is not important. Probably somebody just found this. Like it was just somebody's spear that broke and they lost it in the mud and it's just made. This is going to help us with this tree situation. This is nothing at all. All right. Yeah. Nothing to worry about here.

You can have this back, Billy. Wait, I do want to examine that. It's not really how the game, like if somebody fails a role, it's not just like, I can't look at it. Okay. No one else looks at it. What you can do is you can aid or interfere. Ving owns the fucking spear now. It's not important. Okay. It doesn't matter. Fine. If you want to help somebody, you can roll plus your bond with them to aid or interfere. And if you succeed, they get a plus one.

And if you get a seven to nine, uh, you expose yourself to danger, retribution or cost. And if you fail, then a hard move happens. So he already failed. Yes. But you can help somebody after a failure. Oh, but it only adds a plus one, which would make it a seven, which is a partial success and not a failure. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yes. I'll do that. All right. Let me help you examine that spear. Get that spear out, big boy. Let me take a look. I get up. I come up behind him.

My head is above his head because I'm so tall and I put my arms on his arms while he's examining the spear. And I say, let's look at it together. Do you remember what your bond with, how many bonds you have with Ving? Two. Two. I think I had the max. I think he, yeah, he had two with me and he had two with Ving. Okay, great. So yeah. So you'll be rolling. I'm rolling 2d6 plus two. Okay. To help Ving. All right. Let's look at this. I don't think it's anything. I don't see anything.

Let's take a second. Look, I rolled a seven. Plus two is nine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Great. That's a, so you succeed. Well, it's a partial success. So it's a plus one, which makes your roll a seven instead of a six. So it's not a failure. So erase that experience point, my dude. Huh. Thanks. Uh, I will on a seven to nine. I will tell you something interesting. It's only, it's on you to make it useful. Okay.

So what you do see is that this was in fact of like human make, like it is, it was made by humanoid hands, dwarf elf, human, whatever. Somebody made this in a town, in a village, probably not far from here, but this blade was not originally attached to this and it's been hammered by rough unskilled hands. To like keep it in shape and to sharpen it and stuff like that. So it's, it's not, it wasn't being used in the way that it was made to be used.

Still a spear, but not maintained by a skilled or intelligent person. Somebody chopped down the tree with the spear maybe? No, I don't think so. Hmm. What does Billy think? Billy thinks we should get out of here. Yeah. I can just throw the horse over the tree. Leave the cart. It was always my, I'll throw the cart over the tree too. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Try and move the tree. Like it's. Does anyone have a large, a long lever arm?

I have a staff. I have a staff. Okay. Is it unbreakable? Sure it is. Okay. Can I just claim that? Because I just did my unbreakable staff. Yeah. Your unbreakable staff. It's made of wood. It's never, it hasn't broken yet. Yeah. As far as you know, it is unbreakable. Oh no. There, so there, yeah. Like how would you guys go about, do you want to try and move the tree? Well, yeah. I'm thinking about how I would do. Well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean things are shape shifting Can we hook the horse up to it maybe And lug it out of there Is there another tree nearby Are there other trees A simple pulley system Yeah if we like throw We throw up a pulley And then we attach the horse to it Why don't we wrap the rope we have In our packs And then we toss that rope Over a tree and then we use that to like Pull up the tree up With the horse Or with the tuck Oh yes I can also do that If I fought the horse Would I win It's hard to say it's a tough horse Can I work together with the horse Sure yeah that sounds good You can also help each other So somebody mark off a point Of their adventuring pack I will use mine So just mark one of those off to get a rope And yeah I guess this will be Like a defy danger To make a pulley system Yeah and I mean defy danger Is in a way it's a pretty catch all Sort of move So you're going to be rolling a defy danger strength Most likely And Does anybody want to aid I'd like to aid but I have Pretty I can You guys will all I can tie the knots because I am very dexterous Great there you go I'm light footed so I can go out into the bog And attach it to the trees and stuff 2d6 plus however many bonds you have 13 Dang So you're going to get a plus one to this You'll get a plus one to your defy danger strength Okay Nice so Billy's just like tying sick ass knots and stuff Oh yeah Did you roll your defy I haven't rolled Okay yeah so roll your defy danger strength 2d6 plus your strength 4 plus 2 is 6 Plus an extra 2 is 8 Yeah great alright so That's a 7 to 9 So you'll be able to Mostly move the log You'll be able to move it enough That the horse can get through But you won't be able to get the whole Cart through What proportion of the cart do we get through It's like half It's like The horse can get past Without getting stuck in the mud But Dan would probably have to leave Some of his supplies behind if he wants to get the cart through At all Oh Okay well I'm fine with that We have to do this Dan are you okay with it Oh jeez guys I don't know Let me I got a lot of good meat in here and I just I don't know what to leave Leave them Why don't we go to the festival and see if we can get Some people to come back and move the log Well just tell us what's in the What's in the cart that is the heaviest And the thing that people hate The most It's true Pickled egg Probably like the sweet schloss meat It's like sweet But it's still like savory But like not in a complimentary way Like a mince meat Like a mince meat A mince schloss meat How much of that did you bring Like 200 pounds Yeah leave that I don't know guys I don't think I wanna I don't think I'm comfortable to leave Anything behind You're gonna have to find another way I guarantee you that if you leave That barrel of shitty sweet meat In the middle of this bog For a hundred years no one would take it So it sounds like you're trying to parlay To convince Dan to leave his shit behind Oh yes So what is the leverage that you have on Dan The horse If you're trying to convince him We're gonna help him Or we can walk and he can carry all of his shit Stuff Why don't we just take him to the bar And he can take his horse with us If he doesn't wanna leave his gross meat Alright yeah We already have his horse Somebody roll 2d6 plus charisma The leverage is like We'll just leave you here in the swamp I have plus one charisma That's you You're the most And you got good rolls We'll see about that It's still good Nine So on a seven to nine They'll do what you want But they need concrete assurance Of your They'll need concrete assurance Of your promise Right now And your promise is that you'll continue to protect him I guess Oh yeah for sure We'll get him to the thing Okay great So um Dan that's the Fuck That's the whole fucking point Of this So Dan says Okay fine whatever But uh If I'm gonna leave this stuff behind I need you guys to cover the cost How much is this shit worth I was gonna I was probably gonna make You know 30, 40, 50 coins No one was gonna buy this You don't know You don't know that You haven't been to this festival before How long have you been lugging this around for I've been lugging this around For six months Now I understand That that's a long time But I just haven't found the right market And the hot dog festival in Mudlark Is the right market for this And I'm gonna be taking a huge loss Okay I'll I'll tell you this If If you have a single person Ask you Yeah For sweet meat For sweet schloss meat I will give you I will give you This amulet With a picture of a horse in it Let me take a look at that amulet Here you go That's a pretty good Is this a horse That No that one is my mother The other is the horse Oh the mane The mane threw me off She has like a long Sort of mohawk-y Kind of deal Yes Why the long face I'm sorry It says alright You know what Is it a valuable amulet by the way Like is it made of valuable materials I It was left In my basket When I was a child I am asking you Sean O'Hara Is asking Abdulaziz Is the amulet made out of like Valuable stuff It is not made out of wood Or metal So he's like Alright sounds You know what It is made out of Nobody knows It's a It's Wait I'm It's forming It's made out I can picture it in my mind It's like It's almost like volcanic rock Or like It's almost like a load Instead of Like burnished Metallic material That is like Like copper Yeah No No no no Like grayish Gray Gray kind of Old fireworks Yeah Kind of like Like volcanic rock Sort of Or like A meteor rock It's Or It's He says You know what Fine Whatever Let me just finish Describing this To everyone I can see it I'm holding it It's gray It's shiny I like it Here is it back And if If somebody You know what No I'm gonna hold on to this Actually No you should give it No I'm gonna hold on to this And if somebody asks me about Schlossmeat This is mine I don't like that And he tucks it He tucks it into his shirt Let's go I don't like that disrespect What are you gonna do about it Kid I'm brewing An idea Jesus Dan You're turning into A real dickhead right now Yeah I don't understand How this is our problem Well because I You guys are gonna get paid For getting me to this room For this festival And you're acting like Real wieners We had an agreement I walked in the bog for you I got red mud on my shoes And I lifted a whole God damn tree Well great But let's just look Let's just get I'm sorry I'm sorry guys I'm sorry You take two steps back Dan Yeah okay Alright fine These are wolfs wade Look I'm sorry I'm stressed out The festival Is in like a day and a half I got a bunch of meat Got a lot of Things riding on this Okay I'm sorry Dan we all understand That you wanna Succeed At this festival Yeah it's important So that you can tell All of the other Food cart owners How awesome a time You had At this festival Well you know what Tim is acting like A real hot shot Back in town He thinks Griddle cakes Way of the future I'm trying to tell him No schloss meat Will be And will remain Always the most popular And I think that this festival Is a great way to tell Tim To take his hot cakes And shove them up The old behind Yes Okay Okay Well let's take everything That we can That's not too Bogged down Alright Load up his horse Dan you're carrying most of it I don't Okay fine Fine fine fine fine So he actually is able to Like dump out The sweet schloss meat Which makes like The cart like light enough On one side That it doesn't totally Get stuck in the mud So you can kinda Wiggle it around The cart Around the log And the horse gets through And you guys are on the road And Back ready to go Nice Alright hop in everybody Next stop Mudlark Yeah that's the end of The session for today We've been playing Dungeon World Role playing game By Adam Kobol And Sage LaTorah Based on Apocalypse World By D.

Vincent Baker My name is Sean O'Hara I've been the Game master Paul Oppers My dick turns into Multiple B's Jessica O'Hara I found a nice rock And Abdul Aziz It's almost like a Loden stone And our producer Wes Lord Thanks Wes And Goodbye And so ends the tale Of adventures three Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared And lost they be For time's abreast In revelry And though our journey May be like a conclusion We will not leave you With a single word Without a resolution Return next week To hear some more Whilst you commute Or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout more