Tag: RPG Podcast

Now the round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends and listen close For the tale's about to start I laughed at what I was gonna do Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't do it. What were you gonna do? Wuh that! You guys remember that? No, don't do it. You guys remember Wuh that!

Spout Lore everybody, I'm your game master Sean O'Hara Just reliving the early 90's Super Bowl commercial realities Joining me as always Jessica's laughing so fucking hard Because it's a very funny commercial that we all remember No, it's not Wes is nodding, it's very funny I really caught on Yeah, I really did You guys remember it was in Scary Movie It was great It was in The Office It was in The Office Yeah, it was in The Office Oh man, Wuh that!

Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian Abdulaziz Hello everybody Playing Ving Vang Zoom, but no sorry, just Ving Oh yeah The half-elf druid, Paul Oppers Hello And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief Do we still call, should we still call Billy a halfling? Of course He's still a halfling, culturally? Yeah Culturally, yes, racially different Yeah Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Billy The halfling thief, Jessica Tai Hero, wait no, hello Can we all say that?

She is half Chinese, it's fine She lets slip the way she talks most of the time Yeah She's doing a Canadian accent most of the time on the podcast Yeah, it's all a caricature When last we left our heroes, they had celebrated the night away in the logging town of Pinewood After having accepted a noble quest to help the people of Pinewood reclaim their logging industry Some sort of machine that they bought from the firefields capital of Blackglass Has been lost to some unknown danger in the forest They sent some people out, some people never returned So they want you to find out what happened But mostly, get that tree feller back And you had a party And the party was good Everybody had a good time From what I remember Oh yeah Yeah, Ving had a great time Ving fucked Yeah, it was okay But the party was awesome And the night ended And now we have arrived in the morning The sun rises through the trees in Pinewood Village Cups everywhere Sizzling fire pit in the middle of the town Yeah, there's people sleeping on the ground There's people sleeping on tables You see, Merbo is still asleep Yelium is up and about He's cleaning up a little bit But he's mostly walking around with what looks like a clipboard Just writing stuff And And yeah, what are Billy, Ving, and Tuck up to?

In the morning I am asleep in a pile of chicken That's where I am Just bones? Yeah Yeah That's very funny It looks like it's terrifying to look at Yeah, that's true It's a little kid surrounded by bones Yeah It looks like a sacrifice is about to happen Voodoo What are Ving and Tuck up to in the morning? I guess Ving's still awake Oh, never went to sleep? No, he went to sleep No, he went for a good brood Mmm Went for a nice walkabout brood What's he been brooding about?

Just like looking for love in all the wrong places, you know? Yeah There was a morning dove cooing and it brought him out of his He went chasing it thinking it was his spirit animal Oh, right Ving is still waiting for whatever animal Yeah To accept his summons Yeah Which is something that will, I guess, will happen when it happens Yeah, I guess so Is that up to you or is that up to me? Yeah, you're darn right Let's not hammer this down, Sean Yeah, alright Tuck, what's Tuck doing?

I have the stone box and that red leather book that's connected to Perel's memories And I'm like flipping through the book on top of the stone box Trying to like see if I can Because I'm trying to figure out if Perel's a bad guy or not Right Like I got a good feeling about him but I'm like trying to see if he's like trying to fuck us over Yeah Interesting It's a big book Well then it's too heavy for me to lift No, it's not what I mean Intellectually I mean it's dense And also the pages don't stay the page that they were, you know what I mean?

It's like mutable And honestly my attention span's pretty short so I'm flipping through it just looking for anything that catches my eye That sounds like a Spout Lore to me to get something like that you're looking for or something that would be useful I don't think we've done this in like ten episodes Spout Lore? Yeah It's one of my favorite moves and you guys almost never use it You know what?

I don't think I want to Spout Lore That's right You don't want to but you're not gonna learn anything Okay Here we go So 2d6 plus intelligence Alright You don't have any intelligence still? Yeah Fine Okay, mark a point of experience I'm gonna level up again so you can't aid with Spout Lore Well you can aid with Spout Lore but it would only get him up to a six What if I wake up and aid? Can we all aid?

No It's cool, I wanna roll that again I'm not I wanna know what's going on with this book Those are just the rules Fuck Um, what happens is you're sitting on top of the box flipping through the book trying to find- there's a lot of stuff in here It's a lot of formula, you see pictures of frogs, you see a lot of writing I'm also being kind of secretive with it so on the outside I put the book Love and Lust that we got from Torg So then people- it's like that thing where people think you're reading a porno but instead you're trying to read But the book that he gave you is so much smaller than the big book It barely covers a little section of it And I'm like I'm being so sneaky Very arousing Yeah So you're doing that You're doing the opposite, like you're reading a porn magazine with like McLean's inside of it No no no I'm jerking off You're jerking off Look how hard my cock is Etcetera My cock et cetera And you- Look at- look at- You're getting some sleep again goose pimply my butt has got.

I'm sorry. Is that what erotic is to talk? Is you get goose bumps on your ass? You know how it happens? You know how this happens? And he calls it goose pimply. Yeah. So you're doing that and you're talking about your goose pimply ass. You hear just over your shoulder. What are you reading? Who is it? It's Perel. Oh. And he's like looking, he's kind of furrowed his brow and he's looking at the pages. And I whip around and I look at him.

I like, you know that thing where you like, you spread out on top of the thing that you're looking at to like hide it? And then I'm like, I'm jerking off. And he sort of walks around you in his little magical projection form. Actually on the cover of Love and Lust. He's like, well he sees, yeah, but he, he's still kind of frowning a little bit. He's like, those look like the amaturgical formula. Well, you know what?

Everyone's got a different kink and you know, sometimes I like to look at the amaturgical formula. If you, if you have, if you have a magical text, I'd really appreciate the opportunity to look at it. You don't find much of that these days and it's been a long time since I've been allowed to look at one. I'd really appreciate it. You know, like I think, I think, it's cool whatever you're into, but I'm like looking at porn with other guys. I'm like doing it on my own.

So I'm going to do this on my own. He rubs the bridge of his nose and he's like, if you don't, if you don't trust me Tacoma, you can, you can say that. I trust you. Then show me the book you're looking at. Can I switch it out for Love and Lust? He saw the formula. Yeah. Fine. Here. And I show up. And he looks at the binding. He's like, where did you find, what book is this? I don't know. He found it. Fucking Goblin Tower.

He reaches for the book and he pulls it out of your hand, but the book you're holding stays in your hand and he pulls a copy. And he starts flipping through it. And he's like, hmm, interesting. Well, I'll, I appreciate this. Thank you very much, Tacoma. And yeah, I'm going to take a look at this. Okay. And he winks out of you. Okay. I just go back to reading Love and Lust. Just like grumpily turning the pages. Yeah. I'm barely aroused. Yeah. So that's what happens.

And Merbo and Yilliam start kind of gathering you all. Somebody goes and nudges Billy awake from his pile of bones. Yeah. He rises. Yilliam goes, ah, you had a, do you have a finite little one? I guess so. I had a great sleep. Well, many a chicken will fear your coming. From here on. Oh, no. Makes it like a little crown of bones. Oh, yeah. Billy takes two bones with him. He starts clacking them. Bones, bones, bones, bones, bones. And yeah, they gather you up.

The logger that Ving had a time with is also there. And Yilliam says, you're going to be heading off into the woods today. I assume. Now that we've had our wee bit, bit of celebration. If you're heading out into the woods, you may appreciate a guide. And he sort of pats the woman logger on the shoulder. Awkward. What's, what's her name? What do we think your name is? Vivian. Vivian? Vivian is one of our finest guides. Do you want to do that again? Yes, I do. Vivian is one of our finest guides.

She is one of our finest guides in, uh, in a capable warrior. She would be adequate support if you so need it. But if not, if you think that you would be fine on your own, that is understandable. Ving's like a fan. He's like, oh, you didn't tell me you were a guide. I didn't tell you a lot of things. She says, and kind of winks. Did she give him an STD? Uh, no, but she's like, she's got a lot of blonde hair, like really long blonde hair.

And she's like braiding it into braids and then like tying the braids up on her. Cool. Get that ready. And she's got a big, like wood cutter ax that she's, uh, preparing. I give, I give Ving like a low five. I'm like, awesome. Yeah. She seems very much like she would be tux type. She's very strapping. She's like super muscular. Um, she's bigger than Ving. Uh, how tall is Ving? Ving's pretty tall, isn't he? Yeah, I think, I thought so. He's in the, in the mid sixes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

So she's probably short. She's probably six foot, six, two. Cool. It's like a real Brienne of Tarth. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Uh, so she's there if you want a guide, but they are fine with you going out on your own. Yeah. I'm into it. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was your name again? Vivian. Vivian. Cool. You can call her Vivian, you guys. I, I'm fine with Viv. I'll call you Viv. Viv. This is Billy. Hello. Oh, y'all are so wee. I am very wee.

And, uh, they, um, Billy's really shy cause he knows what happened. And he's just like, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, you have to talk to him about what he saw. Every time she looks at him, he covers his mouth in his sneakers. Well, I'll make sure to keep a close eye on you, little one. Don't want you getting lost in the woods. That was a little foreboding. Yeah. Oh, it's just the woods can be dangerous.

Why do you think we're sending more warriors out in the first place? Yeah. You don't have to prep them with all the scary stuff. Let's just go. Fine. You know, we'll, we'll see what we run into in the forest. And I dropped back and I was like, that was weird. That got weird. I mean, why, why like tell a little boy how scary it's about to be? I mean, I know, but it was a strange move. I know, but this, is this the first time you've talked to her since you had sex? That's her. Oh, God. God.

Why would you, why would you try and scare a little boy that's covered in knives and carrying bones right now? And is chanting bones, bones, bones. That's what he's doing. And he's, he's walking backwards, you know, to protect him. He's protect what? To protect us from the dangers. So you're in the back of the wire. Yeah. Bones, bones, bones, bones, bones, bones. And before, before you do leave, you're like, you start walking. And then, uh, Bev is like, wasn't there a fourth one? Oh, Mears.

We forgot me. Four of you. He's kind of, he's like Kevin. Did you just yell into the village? Yeah. Are you here? Yeah. Are you, are you coming into the woods for the thing? Oh, is that now? Yeah. Okay. Do we need a, do we need Francis? No. Okay. Uh, and then he, you hear like slam and then, and you hear him like he's rushing through the woods. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like tying his cloak on. He's making sure his sword belts on. Right. Is he pulling his pants up too?

Well, I mean, yeah, but he was sleeping. Were you, what were you doing? Yeah. He's like rubbing sleep out of his eyes. His hair is all fucked up. Were you taking a shit? What were you doing? What time is it? It's, I don't know. Morning. Nobody told me when we were leaving. What? It's morning. We go in the morning. Yeah. Okay. I just, you know, if I get out there and I forgot something, I just want to know that I am not feeling like I am accountable for this. You were very accountable for this.

You're the leader. Yeah. Well, then somebody should have consulted me about when we were going to leave. Well, we tried, but you were busy shitting. I was not. He looks at Bev and he looks at Yelium and he's like, I wasn't. I was asleep. I'm a 14 year old boy. I need my rest. Anyways, let's go. All right. You get in front of me and I'll protect the back. And then you can see like there's toilet paper on his shoe. Yeah. I don't say anything.

He heads off and he started, he's clanking a little bit because he brought all his cooking stuff. So he's just like clank, clank, clank as he moves. And Bev goes, all right, well, it's a bit of a walk, so I'm going to, I'll be right back. And she comes back and she has a pretty big moose cow, like a female moose. And she, it's got a saddle on it. And she hops up. She goes, all right, I'll lead the way. Whoever needs to ride can hop up on the juniper. Yeah, I'm going to walk. I'll walk.

I too will walk. Cool moose though. Mears? Yeah. Okay. Oh yeah. Okay. I'll ride the moose. Okay. Never rode a moose before. Clank, clank, clank. I pick him up by his backpack. And he's like laid across it, like horizontally. Yeah. Like the fucking cargo that he is. Yeah. Just sling him across the back of this moose. Uh, all right. And you head off into the woods. Is there anything that anybody wants to keep an eye out for? Well, I mean, yeah, like I, maybe. Mysteries. I don't know.

Traps and mysteries. Yeah. All right. Can somebody, uh, one person. Oh yeah. Billy's keeping it. Billy's specifically. Keeping an eye out for mysteries. Yeah. Keeping an eye out for mysteries. So give me a discern realities. So 2d6 plus wisdom. Roll the bones. Um, nine. Nine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's one question. From the list. If, um, if somebody aids Billy, uh, it could be a 10, which would give you three questions. Yeah. I'll leave Billy. All right. Five total. Five total. Okay.

Uh, so the questions that you have access to for discern realities are what happened here recently. What is about to happen? What should I be on the lookout for? What here is useful or valuable to me? Who's really in control here? What here is not what it appears to be? What here is not what, what appears to be. Okay. Uh, so Billy is walking backwards, clacking his bones. Um, he's also using the binoculars sometimes. Uh huh. Yeah. That's why he can actually see what's happening. Yeah.

Binocular eyes. Yeah. Bev takes you down a trail for 20 minutes, half an hour, and then turns into like some deeper woods. And it's like a more narrow game trail. She's like, this is the way that the logging camp was. This is where the operation was taking place deeper in the woods here. And you're walking and it's very, very dense coniferous forest. A lot of moss. Uh, the light starts getting blocked out in certain places.

And you notice, uh, on a very mossy tree, um, near the bottom, it looks like the moss, the color of the moss changes, uh, from deep green to a very vibrant blue. Stop my pals. Hey guys, look at this. It's beautiful. And you notice on a little closer inspection that it appears to be moving independently, of the moss around it. Oh, gross. All right, let's try it out. So I lick it. Do you really? Really? No. Why? I grabbed him before he can lick it.

It's not a great idea, but this, are you, are you going to try and lick it? No matter what? I'm going to try to lick it. I'm going to try and stop him. All right. Cause it looks disgusting. It's moving on its own. That's it. That's an interfere move. Okay. You can defy danger. Um, constitution. Oh, fuck. 13. 13. 13. Let's see you overpower me. Billy eats all the blue moss. Seven.

Uh, so yeah, you do succeed partially, but that means that you, um, are trying to, you take away two from whatever move he was doing, which would still be an 11. Fuck. Wow. So what does Billy do? He just licks it. Yeah. He just gives it a little. It has that. I mean, in a fantasy world, you would not know, but it has that feeling where like you put your tongue on the end of a battery. Oh, ow. It doesn't. So it doesn't. Yeah. It doesn't like hurt her, but it's like, Oh fuck. What? What?

I shouldn't have done that. I tried to stop you. Sorry. I should have listened. How do you feel? Not good. Oh, I could do it again. No. Okay. Just let him have one more lick. Um, and Bev kind of hops down off Juniper and is crouched and looking at the moss. And she's like, that's I've never seen most like this before. Don't lick it. Thank you. For the tip. I won't lick the moss. Looks like a thing. What's the thing? Uh, uh, like a spirit or like it has spirit.

I'm sensing that it's alive more than just moss. Well, it is moving for sure. Yeah. Um, are you trying to communicate with it? Yeah. I think he's going to try and communicate with it. It crystal hands forward. Mm. Uh, you are very easily for the most part, able to communicate with living things like this, but you sense that this does not have the same sort of connection. To the spirit world as like the moss around it does. And the moss around it is like, what the fuck? Get this muscle. Yeah.

Like, ah, so yeah, they're very, the moss is confused by this blue moss. Yeah. Can we spell lower about it? Yeah, you can spell lower. If you wanted to learn more, try and learn more about the moss. It would be spelled lower. Let's spell lower about it. Yeah, definitely. I got an eight, an eight. Okay. So, um, Perel pops out, he winks into view and he is looking at the moss.

He's like, Oh, and he does that thing where he like, he like jiggles his glasses to make sure they're like firmly on his face. Um, and he gets down and he like is looking at this moss. Very excited. Nobody else can see him except for you three, obviously. And he looks back at you and he says, what is it? This is magical. I knew it. It's like, this is incredible. I don't know why this would be here, but this is magic. What is it? It's moss. It's magically active moss. Oh, wow.

So much insight, Perel. Can you tell us more? Uh, no, I can't. I cannot because I'm not a moss wizard. What kind of wizard are you? No, there's not, but I'm not. Do you know any moss wizards? I have, I have in the past known wizards that worked with moss. Yes. Cool. Hmm. Call Pete. Call one of them. This is like going up to a doctor and being like, something's wrong with my horse. And the doctor says, I don't work on horses. And you say, why not? Because I'm not a horse doctor.

Do you know a doctor? That works on horses? I have known a doctor that has worked on horses in the past. Yes. I have known many people that are specialists in many fields of research. What does the horses have to do with the blue moss? Yes. So is the horse, the moss or is the other moss, the horse? He disappears. Uh, but yeah, so that's what, you know, he says that this is magically active. I turned to Vev and I'm like, is there, has anyone done magic?

Is there magic in your town or is there magic in the history of your town? Maybe? Well, she like kind of, she'd make that face where she's thinking. She makes that face where she's. I love that. That thinking face. She makes, you know, a baby. Yeah. Um, got that big old brain. Um, she's saying this to each other. I got a big old brain. She thinks. And she's like, well, if you go back deep enough in history, it's hard not to find a town that doesn't have a magical past.

Um, I don't know anything specifically, but I believe there were wizards active in the area before all this strangeness happened. Yilliam seems to think that there was a wizard workshop of some kind nearby in the past, but no one's ever found any history of it. I'm going to forage the moss. I'm going to take it. You're just going to rip it up? Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Well, like with purpose. So yeah, you yank it out of the ground. Yeah. And it's a little like, thank you. Yeah.

I'll take this from, from you other moss. You feel it kind of, it does fight you a tiny bit, you know, like when you pick up an earthworm and it's like, no. Yeah. Uh, but it's ultimately futile. Um, so yeah, you've got this moss. Cool. You put it in a mason jar. Yeah. We always forget how loud Ving is. He's extremely loud. All the mason jars and pockets. Oh yeah. Right. Um, okay.

So Ving grabs some of the, the magical moss and, um, um, Bev hops back up on Juniper and mirrors never got off Juniper. He had no interest in getting off. Uh, he's making, he's making a little like bracelet lanyard for a kid. What's his name? Kim. Kim. Yeah. He's making like a little grass, like it's a little bracelet. He's yeah. He's like wrapping it around. It's great. Actually. The hook makes a really good, like a crocheting. Yeah. Um, and you're walking down this trail.

The trees are getting pretty dense. Um, although you are noticing here and there, trees have been cut down like single trees here and there. Uh, and then you smell something. It smells really bad. Really, really bad. Sulfury. Um, fruity. Yeah. It kind of smells like a fart. Yeah. It smells like a really strong fart. Rot. Is it, does it smell like food? It kind of almost. Yeah. It definitely smells like something decomposing. Speaks a lot to your farts. Billy, was that you? What?

Billy doesn't remember. He farts so often. He's wafting from his butt. Yeah. No, it's not for me this time. Uh, I did, but that's not me. Mears is like bundled up his cloak, the edge of his cloak and shoved it over his mouth. It's like, what is that? Are we in danger? Bev? Cabbage skunks. And you hear rustling on the side of the trail and trundling onto the path are these huge plants. And you see little arms and legs coming out of the bottom and a little head.

There's probably five or six of them and they just smell like shit. I pick up, I hold up the ax and I turned to Bev and I'm like, how cute are these things? Should I kill them or is it bad if I kill them? Well, you can see them. They're pretty cute, but they're also pretty tenacious. Okay. If you start anything, they may attack. Okay. I'm going to piss. What? To indicate my, my area. This is mine. Is that what you're doing? Yeah. Cause they're animals, right? Yeah, they are kind of. Yeah.

My instinct. All right. Okay. So you move, do you move out onto the trail like ahead of the, I do it in the middle of everyone. All right. Go for it. At the bottom of your loincloth. And then I'm like, everybody get behind my pit. Bev does move Juniper back just to get away from Juniper. From you pissing. She's like, starts walking the moose back on the trail. She's like, all right, is he, does he do this normally? Not, not a lot. You know, I've never seen anybody try this. So maybe it'll work.

You don't have to roll the piss. Cause it's done. You're like, all right, I piss. And you start rolling a handful of dice. It's to see how well it works. All right. All right. Uh, defy danger. Piss. Piss. Uh, defy danger. Strength. Uh, forcing out piss. Uh, wisdom. I guess it's charisma. It's force of personality, right? You're trying to be like, get out of here. Yeah. I put all, I try and jam all my personality into my, into your piss. 12. All right. Okay.

So you're trying to mark your territory. Yeah. And I'm fucking, I didn't pee when I woke up. I got right into the book. So I have a lot. Whoa. Whoa. Well, it's so great that nobody tried to learn anything about cabbage. She told us enough. She said cabbage scum. Yeah. Tenacious. Yeah. Um, and, uh, they're like, they were pretty happily walking across the trail. Uh, and then you pissed and then a couple of them kind of like sidestep down the trail away from the piss.

But as they part, like the biggest one out of all of them, which probably, they're really low to the ground, uh, but their leaves go up really high. So it's leaves probably extend like six feet off the ground. Uh, and it's this like squat little plant monster with like a kind of snouty looking face on the bottom. Uh, it's black and white. Like skunks are be cool if they're black and white. Okay. This be, this one is more yellow than the other ones for sure.

Um, and it like turns and you see it go like, like it's got, it's snout in the air and then it like hunches down and it starts shaking its leaves. So it goes like, and the smell gets worse. I succeeded though. You succeeded in pissing. Ving takes a poop. Yeah. It's not, it's not moving closer, but it's not moving. Like it's on the trail. Should we approach it kindly? Talk to it. Oh, I mean, yeah. Yeah. I guess you could talk, talk to a plant and an animal. Yeah, that's true.

So what are you trying to say? What's he saying? I'm listening to his, his shuddering. He's saying, get out of here. Get out of here. Yeah, we're going, we're walking through. Get out of here. And I can tell that he's talking to him. I'm like, what's he saying? Get out of here. These are my ladies. Get out of here. Oh, he's protecting his, his, his tribe here. Oh, okay. Well, he's, he's jealous that your pee smells so much. I'm pissing still. I'm pissing still.

It's like the smell is getting worse and worse. Just like move along. Get away from me. Can you ask him if he's seen anything weird with these moss things? Is there anything? Have you ever seen this before? We're leaving a second. Sorry about the pee. On our way out. It's still going. It's still shaking its leaves and you hold up the moss and you see it hunker down even more. And it just goes, no, no, get out of here. Okay. These guys are, these guys are useless and angry.

Can you parlay with him? I think I just did. Let's go. Yeah, he's, he's angry. That's the thing is if you want to calm him down, you'd have to make a roll, like get information out of him. Parlay probably. If he doesn't have it, what, what do we need to know? He probably wants me to stop pissing. He probably does. Uh, well, you can get him to stop pissing. Yeah. And we'll move along. Give me information and this guy will stop pissing. That's a great parlay for this little skunk monster. Oh no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, four. Well, he's just not going to give you what you want. He doesn't want to talk. He wants you to leave. Like, he's not going to let you walk down this trail. We have to go around. I have an idea. Can I use disguise? Uh, yeah. What do you, what's Billy's plan? Well, I was going to disguise myself as one of them so that he would like trust us and talk to us. Just dress up like a cabbage. Yeah. What is it? Can you read out the disguise move?

I've never used it before. When you have time and materials, you can create a disguise that will fool anyone into thinking you're another creature of about the same size and shape. Your actions can give you away, but your appearance won't. I am the same size. Yeah, you're roughly the same size as a little cabbage skunk. You probably wouldn't be able to, actions wise, you probably wouldn't be able to fool this cabbage skunk. Come on, I could. Get on all fours. Wrestle the things. Stink. Yeah.

Let a bunch of farts. I can do that. All right. Can I roll for it? Well, disguise is just time. You just have time. Well, while they're doing this, I'm making my disguise. Okay. So you've collected enough leaves. Yeah, I stuck a bunch of leaves into myself. Yeah. Can I get on all fours? Do you understand? If you, Jessica, were to disguise yourself as a dog, do you think a dog would believe you? For sure. She was really good at it. Bark, bark, bark, bark. Um, please.

But you can't even communicate with it. That's the thing. I go, I'll just make, I'll, I'll do the miming and then Pink can talk through me. Well, the thing is, is that Billy is definitely dressed like a cabbage skunk now. Like no matter whether or not you can communicate with it, you're dressed like a cabbage skunk. Yeah, I did it. And I even have the black marks around my face already. Yeah. That's true. True. Works. Okay. Yeah. All right. You're dressed as one. So what's your plan here?

Um, I, I crawl or whatever on my fours and I go to the front of our group and I say, hello. Um, they are traveling with me. Yeah. You can't communicate with it. You can't talk to animals, but this thing sees it and it starts rustling. It's just confused now. Like you're, you're kind of, you're hard resetting this cabbage skunk cause it's so there's piss everywhere. There's something that looks like it should be a cabbage skunk, but it's not right that it actually starts backing up.

It like backs up more and more and more. And then it just turns around and runs off into the trees. It was just too, it's just too much. It's gone. It makes sure that you're gone. Okay. Uh, but it's gone, but the smell remains. Okay. And you guys realize that it is, it's in you. Oh, we smell. Yeah. Yeah. We stink now. Yeah. I can't smell anything. Okay. This place sucks. Uh, and Bev goes, it does. It does. I've never seen that tactic with a cabbage skunk before. Yeah.

You'd think it would have worked cause I got an unmitigated success. I will say that it did not attack us. There are a lot of people that have lost a life and limb to a particularly aggressive scabbage skunk bowl before. Scabbage skunk? Is that what I said? Watch your mouth. Cabbage skunk. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

I will say that your quick thinking, uh, your quick dinking, I will say your quick dinking may have saved us from a particularly heinous battle. Oh, that's nice. So nice job there. I suppose. We do a three-way high five. Worthwhile. So quiet. So if you're, if you're ready to put your, your little, uh, your little thing away, we can move on. It's not that little. In comparison. Listen to the rest of your body. It's pretty small. It's the same. It's appropriately sized.

I think for the rest of my body, I think we can all agree. Everybody look. Everyone's already walked on. We're all moving. Standing there saying this. I'm walking behind the group with my loincloth pulled up and I'm like, I think we can all agree. Guys. If everybody looks back, look, Ving. Hey, everybody. I've seen it. Ving, look. We're walking this way now. It's appropriately sized, right? I am too hungover to look at that dick today. Please don't make me today. Yeah, I saw it. I saw it.

I'm here. Okay. You know what? It's appropriate, right? I'm underage. Juniper. He's got like one eye on it the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. The moose kind of swings its head around and is like chewing a mouthful of grass. I'm not asking Billy, but the rest of you look. Everyone but Billy. And that goes on for a while. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks. Billy looks.

Billy looks. Another half hour of traveling through the woods. You notice more and more trees are cut down and the trees start thinning and you come to a clearing in the woods. The sun starts to shine down. Things brighten up and heat up a little bit. The rain seemed to have abated for the day. But what you do see is a whole lot of blue moss. It is sort of spread out over this clearing in the sun. And you see lumps here and there that look like, oh, maybe that was a pile of timber.

That could be a cart or something. Some other lumps of varying sizes that you don't know what those are. And then a particularly large one sort of roughly in the middle. Is this your guys' equipment? I assume so. This is horrible. She hops down off Juniper and starts looking at the moss, sort of towing it here and there. This must be where the camp was. But this wasn't here. I can tell you that much. Let me go digging around and see if there's anything we can find under it. Yeah.

Discern realities. Whoa. Yeah. Ten. Ten. Sweet. So that is three questions from this list. What happened here recently? What is about to happen? What should I be on the lookout for? What here is useful or valuable to me? Who's really in control here? What here is not what it appears to be? Okay. What happened? What happened here recently? This moss grew very rapidly and overtook whatever was going on here. The logging camp, you realize that one or two of the lumps might be roughly body-shaped.

And the big thing in the middle is definitely the tree feller. And there's a cart as well. And maybe a horse. Yeah. So the moss overtook this camp somehow. What's valuable here? There's a section of the moss that didn't grow. There's a patch. There's a patch in the camp that didn't overtake this certain area. And you go over and you kind of rifle around in what was there. And it stinks like alcohol. Hmm. So there's some smashed like whiskey bottles. And the moss didn't grow over the whiskey.

Hmm. And who's in control here? You are digging around in another section of the moss. And the moss is moving while you're doing this. Like it's kind of shifting and rippling as you touch it. And you find there's like a tumble of moss. And you find there's like a tumble of stones near the edge of the more recent cut. And in those stones there's a gap. And you feel a breeze blowing out of this gap in the stones. Whoa. And the moss is like particularly thick at the lip of this hole.

It looks like there's heat coming out, but there's no heat. Yeah. The moss is like moving and like kind of waving up the hole. Whoa. Do you just like let everybody know, hey, there's something over here? Yeah. Yeah. So you're looking into this. What is this? You're feeling the air coming out of the cave. And you're feeling this like deep, wet, like coolness from deep, deep under the earth. And you think you hear from deep, deep in. And that's where we'll end it for this session.

This has been Spout Lore. My name is Sean O'Hara. I'm your Game Master. With me as always, players Abdulaziz. So long, everybody. Paul Oppers. Nighty night. And Jessica Tai. Bye, friends. Thanks to Mark and MP for letting us record in their home again, even though nobody's here again. Thanks to Wes for all the technical stuff. Abdul for all the editing. And then Aaron Reid of Vancouver Sunday Service for our intro and outro music. And thanks to you for listening. See you next time.

And so ends the tale of Adventures 3. Who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be. May be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I gladly Spout Lore.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and raddest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Welcome back to Spout Lore everybody Sean O'Hara and with me, as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian Abdulaziz.

Good morning. Playing Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Hello. Playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Hello, everybody. When last we left our heroes, they were in the midst of a celebration in the village of Pinewood.

Now that they have accepted a task from the co-mayors, Merbo and Yulium, to investigate some sort of disappearance and tragedy in the woods surrounding the village, a great feast was thrown in their honor, and Billy deeply insulted an old woman by messing with a shrine to the forester. And with some doe eyes and some childhood naivete, Billy was able to, with the help of Ving, giving a gentle massage, a stiff massage to this old woman. The situation was resolved.

And now the party has sort of continued in earnest. Everybody's… It's getting… It's getting whipped up to a fever pitch. Everybody's drinking and eating. There's alcohol and juices and roasted meats and vegetables. And some games have actually broken out. The people of Pinewood like to play games where it's just feats of strength and agility. And that's sort of where we find ourselves now. Yeah, I've been over at the feats of strength, and I came back.

And I come over to these guys, and I'm like, Hey, do you guys think I crossed the line when I fucked that shrine? I just look over to the lake. And she's looking at you with eyes sort of narrowed. You had your balls tucked away. That's true. It was behind the flap. Yeah. Flaps down. Flaps down. I look at the lady, and I'm like, Okay. Look.

I felt threatened because you were pointing your finger at Billy, and you made me feel fucking small because you were pointing your finger into my chest, and you were saying some stuff to me. That made me feel like a bad parent. So I felt kind of defensive on that. And so maybe I said some stuff that I shouldn't have said. Maybe I shouldn't have fucked your shrine. And maybe I'm sorry. Maybe. Maybe you're sorry. I'm sorry. All right. And to make it up to you, I'm going to go over to the shrine.

I'm going to tell it a prayer. Okay. If that makes you feel better. Come on. And then I lift her up. So she's just hanging from your hand? Yeah. She's got her mug still in her hand. Yeah. I put her up on my shoulder. I'm like, come on. All right. I'm sure someone at some point has explained to you that we don't really pray to the patrons. Let's go. Let's pray to the patrons. Woo! Pray to the patrons. Pray to the patrons. Pray to the patrons. It's time for you to do the thing you always do.

And more people are starting to watch sort of from the edge of the undercover area. Cool. Yeah. Because they don't see people do this very often. And I like that I'm getting an audience. I'm getting nervous and excited about it. And then I'm also, as I'm walking with the lady, realizing that I don't have anything locked and loaded for this. I have not planned a prayer. What a surprise. Improv it, man. Here we go. No. Give me one minute. Ving's walking around stalling. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. There's two young men standing at the edge of the overhang. They're both like talking to each other like, what are they doing? I think they're praying to the shrine. And they're both like, oh, silly. I would say, you know, just. Avocado, sriracha. But they're like, wow, that's a beautiful language. Yeah. Ving is being like, do you remember Paul Bettany? He's character in A Knight's Tale. Yeah. What was his name? Chaucer. He's Jeffrey Chaucer. Yeah.

Yeah. Jeffrey Chaucer. He's a guy. Yeah. Whatever that guy is. Author of The Canterbury Tales. Ooh. I love The Canterbury Tales. I'm sure. I love them. I'm pretending to have glasses right now. I don't love them. I'm just aware of. Oh, Chaucer. Classic piece of literature. Also, A Knight's Tale is my favorite movie. Oh, Knight's Tale. Oh, Knight's Tale. Oh, Knight's Tale. Oh, Knight's Tale. Oh, Knight's Tale. Oh, Knight's Tale. Oh, Knight's Tale. This is the longest you've ever mimed a blowjob.

It's unsettling. It's like. Yeah. It's just like. Yeah. No. It's not. I'm not like unsettled by. It's just like. And Bill put his finger in the butthole of the imaginary blowjob. It's just a lot of detail. It feels really intimate. Like I walked in on something. I mean. Billy looks away. Tuck is doing this in front of a shrine. Is this a prayer? No, no, no. I'm not doing it. Is this a prayer? It's totally normal. Dominoes. Dominoes and pizza hot. Hot and ready. Pizza, pizza. 9, 6, 7, 11, 11.

The mushroom thing? Olives, mushrooms and extra cheese. Dominoes for delivery. If you get two for the price of one, we throw in crazy bread. Yeah. But. Peace be with you. Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody. Peace of pizza be with you. All right. So the woman sitting on your shoulder just kind of waiting. And I put her down and I lean. I kneel down and I take out my axe. Do people chop the shrine? It looks like people have been leaving access here for a long time. Is there like a log nearby?

It's just one big stump. No, but is there another one? Like there's like a tree. Yeah. So. Okay. So this is what I'm going to do. Like I kneel in front of the shrine and I take out my axe. It's just wounds. She sees the axe. Yeah. She's like, oh, wow. That's quite a, quite a two you have there. And I guess I tuck my dick in a little bit. Oh, you mean the axe? Yeah. Oh, the axe. Yeah. She goes, oh, come on. It's not anything. I haven't seen before. I wink at her. She winks at you.

I'm starting to like this lady. Is there like a crowd that's for people are watching because they're just confused. Yeah. And I. But you pull the axe out. Well, and people have been like looking at it. Like, oh, man, look at that thing. And so I. Yeah. I kneel my. I kneel my head. I bow my head. And I'm like, I pay homage. I say this to the shrine. I pay homage to the logger. He. He strengthens. He strengthens our arms and splits our wood and brings us shelter from the forest. And then I.

I take my axe and I throw it horizontally at the nearest tree. And I try and split it. Like with one. With like one throw. Yeah. Okay. Well, we're going to do a defy danger strength. Okay. Two to six plus your strength. Six. Oh, can I help? Six. Seven. Eight. Yeah. Your strength is huge. Yeah. He's not going to need it. Yeah. So you just. There's like a fairly narrow. It's not like massive, but it's tall tree. And you just whip your axe through it. Yeah. Like it is pretty wide, right? What?

The tree? Yeah. Sure. Yeah. But you're cutting down a tree in the middle of town. In one swipe. In one swipe. Yeah. And you throw your axe through it. Yeah. Cool. So. Yeah. So I'm going to have to go get it. Yeah. You grab your axe. You heft it. You heft Larry, Terry, and Chad. And you just whip it. And I give him a kiss before it. And you just send it through this tall pine tree, like a few yards away from the shrine. And it whacks right through the middle. And it sails off into the forest.

And I look at it. I'm like, fuck. And it also like it hits. Like it stumps down. And it sits teetering for a second. And it starts to fall towards the overhang. Oh, no. Yeah. It's like. And it starts to fall. What do you do? Ving, help. Ving runs over and runs underneath the thing and puts his hands up in the air and roots down and turns into a bit of a big stumpy kind of rooty man. He hasn't used his wood in a long time. Yeah. And with big, crystal-y hands and just tries to put them together.

He doesn't have a lot of control over the axes yet. I mean, of the crystal-y knives. Yeah. But just puts kind of like a crystal cradle up and catches it. 2d6 plus wisdom to shapeshift. This is a thing now. This became a situation. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 10. 10. Great. So you get three hold. Okay. So that's. You use your hold to like root down and grab the tree. The other way. Yeah. And just scales it down. Yeah. You could scale it down. Takes out a bark off. Wait. Scale it down. Like how?

What do you mean? With the crystals. Runs it through his crystal. Oh, like you get it. You like. Make it go. Okay. Beautiful smooth. Okay. Slide. You slide it off. Yeah. And then use your crystals to strip all the bark off. And then like Billy get it. And then he like does. Yeah. Let's make it all together. Make some cool party trick. Yeah. All right. What does Billy do? He gathers up all the bark. Uh-huh. At top speed. Yeah. Raw lumber coming at you. Woo. He can make stuff taste different ways.

Can't he? That's true. Oh, yeah. He turns into beef jerky. Beef jerky. He starts throwing it out to the crowd. Beef jerky. Okay. I need Billy. I need Billy to roll for this too. You get some jerky. Okay. So Billy, what is this? Charisma, I guess? 2D6 plus charisma? Yes. Eight. Okay. Great. It's a little tiring because you're doing it to so much. You're feeling like you have to influence so much wood chips at the same time. Mm-hmm.

But then you're throwing out beef jerky and people are chewing on this bark. Like they take the bark from you and they're like, okay. And Billy takes a bite too to be like. Yeah. Beef jerky. Yeah. And they're like. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Well, we eat bark from time to time. So it's not. And they take a bite and they're like, holy hell. That's beef jerky. And then people are tossing it around and you're passing it out. Everybody's having a grand old time now. Yeah.

And the log just gets smoothed down and like. Yeah. What's the next move? And then he was like, tuck. Log's up. Yeah. And then I go over there and I do the Highland game that Merbo was doing where he was. He was lifting like a stump or no. I do the, you know, the one where you flip a tree. Caber toss. Yeah. The caber toss. I invent that. Sick. I right now. So you pick up a tree. No one's ever thought of it in this world. Right? Sure. Yes. Yes. And so I pick it up and I'm like, check this out.

And I like, I like flip it. And I'm like, for the logger. So do I. Forest. No, I say log. Yeah, I know. What do I roll? 2d6 plus strength, I guess. Five, six, seven. Okay. Yeah. So you flip it and you flip it so hard and you send it right into the bottom of your chin. Go ahead and roll me. What's your damage die? Uh, d10. This is incidental. Do a d6. Okay. Two. You get two damage right in the chin. I have one armor already. Yeah. Cause you're so tough. But you feel. You feel.

You feel your lips split. So you're bleeding a little bit now. And I turn around and I'm like, yeah, but you do like you flip it. You flip it all the way over and it lands really far away. And there are a bunch of people in the overhang that are like, oh, yes. And then a bunch of people start coming out and some strapping young, young buck grabs it and he throws it and sends it into the bottom of his chin and spits out a bunch of blood and goes, yeah, he flips it. And this is a game now. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Bloody mouth yeah and everybody's just having a grand old time smashing themselves in the face with this log I go to these guys I'm like wow that was like not planned at all pretty good show we put on and the woman comes up and she pats you on the on the arm and she goes your heart is in the right place but you should really learn something about the patrons like 90 of what you did was so wrong but I appreciate it nonetheless yeah I mean you know spread it around spread around things that I do I will but not the wrong ones okay yeah tell people about the prayer use the prayer more no there's a lot wrong with the prayer that's okay the thing that I'm trying to start just use it we'll see we'll see you're gonna use it she goes off and she fills up her mug again I turn to these guys I'm like probably she'll use it right yeah for sure oh she's got she's she's gonna use it and uh yeah the party just continues uh is there anything in particular that you want to say about the party I'm gonna say that the party is a little bit that anybody wants to try and accomplish at this party what's billy seems excited what's billy trying to do snack table oh there is a large snack table uh there's some sort of roast bird there's like a big platter of red meat that's been cooked over a fire there's so many delicious looking drinks there's like barrels of stuff with taps in the side there's little berries like piles of berries some sort of jam looking stuff what's billy going for I'm shoveling a bunch of berries and I'm like I'm gonna go get some of these things I'm gonna go get some of these things into the backpack okay backpack acquired with berries yeah uh go to the bird grab a leg grab another leg uh two legs yeah that's four legs so you're fine sweet uh double fist yeah and uh yuliam sitting on the other side of the table eating he's not really engaging in too much of the partying he's like you know you don't have to you don't have to pack it away we're not gonna take it from you you can eat as much as you like oh really yeah and he's like putting like some walnuts and stuff in his mouth okay so I tuck in the the two legs into like my waistband and I grab the other two legs I'm like thank you dear take a seat take a seat okay can you pick me up I can't reach it with all the food he uh steps over the table like he stands up and walks to the other side and puts you up thank you and he sits down next to you this is what I've found at parties if you sit near the food you don't have to come and get more food it's just here the whole time oh my god never thought of this classic uncle advice yeah you can take that from your old pal yuliam I will so what's your uh what's your story you look like a young lad to be traveling with uh strange warriors such as this yes I suppose but they're nice to me tuck over there the big one he found me one night um I mean I don't he wasn't very happy with me at the time he was roasting a big old jackalope and I I invited myself into that I don't think he liked it very much how old would you say you are I'm like nine or something or ten nine years old yeah I barely hefted my first axe at nine and I was nay on the road what you know I was nay on the road a little lad like you stumping about in the woods oh yeah I too was nay on the wood he nods and he's like all right well as long as you feel safe and you feel a little bit better I'm gonna go to the next one like you're where you're supposed to be yeah this I'm so happy right here this boat of gravy I pull it closer to myself I dunk my chicken legs or whatever they are into it yeah he's like a little lad after me own heart well let's tuck in and he kind of bonks his chicken leg against your chicken leg and he gets into it uh tuck are you still is tuck still doing games with people yeah he's still eating a conga line all right that's a feat of strength no he moved just a conga line uh yeah and there's somebody like playing like a drum and stuff like that I guess I'm trying to explain what a conga line is yeah you're trying to explain conga yeah I'm like it's like you just it's an excuse to touch someone else's hips I guess oh and they get that they're like oh okay yeah yeah I'm trying to break it down and I'm realizing I don't understand why that it happens but they're all like touching each other's hips and they're like kind of in a circle and they're like hey hey give me your hips are you starting to wrestle yeah kind of it's turning into a wrestling it's turning into a wrestling matchup a pile of people wrestling each other slapping each other and the hips give me them hips boy there's a bunch of people just like in a circle yeah they formed an arena like yeah totally yeah there's a ring of people there's two people in the middle and they're like they got their arms out to either side they're like okay all right and one slight one jumps forward slaps him in the hip and go one point conga conga conga conga conga conga conga conga There's two games that have been invented.

There's Bloody Mouth and then there's Konga, which is like touch football, but with wrestling. Yeah. That's a fun game. And that's great. And it's pouring rain and they're just having a blast. What's Ving up to? He's getting pissed with the boys. Oh, yeah. He's got a bottle of booze in his gills. He's chugging spruce vodka in his throat. He's got one in each side. And then he's chugging down here, too. He's got three bottles, free pouring. And there's just a group of people freaking out.

They're like, yeah. Chug, chug, chug, chug. You're chugging so much. You're chugging so much, bro. I'm chugging so much, bro. And somebody comes out. A pretty beefy lady comes out. A pretty beefy lady. A pretty slash beefy lady. And she comes out and she's got this big clay. Jug over one shoulder. And she slams it down on the ground. It's got a little rag around the handle. She's like, you look like you know how to drink. Try some of this.

And she pops the cork off and smoke starts coming out of it. Whoa. She's like, you ever had a dram of this? No, but I've vaped before. Oh, if you've vaped, you'll appreciate this ember mead. Ember mead. Strongest liquor made from the honey of the fire bee. Oh, it'll get you red. Right, dickhead. I don't know what that is, but it sounds super sexy. Let's do it. Sounds super sexy. Okay. Are you going to hammer this? Like, just get down on this fire mead? Yeah, yeah. Ember mead. Ember mead.

Ember mead. Give me a 2d6 plus constitution. Okay. Seven. Seven. Okay. So you just go to town and smoke starts pouring out of your gills. I've still got two holds. So let's grow some things on my back. Like wooden tree wings. And then they're on fire a little bit. They're smoldering tree wings. Just to look insane. Yeah, just he's getting hammered. He's getting crazy drunk and things start popping off. Drunk shape shifters. Real problem. It is very weird when he gets really fucked up.

So yeah, this like smoldering wood thing comes out of your back and they're all like, whoa, sweet. Sweet. And so what's the seven to nine? Seven to nine. You get like something happens. An intervention. Billy and I are watching from the other side of the party and we're like, we really need to talk to him about his shape shifting while drunk. I have a problem. And the lady like has her arm around your shoulder and she's like, hey, how's a problem? And she's drinking too.

And yeah, that's so I don't know. What's do you get entangled? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so it's that sort of thing. You drink all that stuff. You drink the fire mead. The smoke's pouring out of you, and the wood comes out of your back, and you're all having a great time, and she just grabs you by the front of your shirt. She catches the vibe first. She knows what the situation is.

She just grabs the front of your shirt. She winks at me first. Yeah, and she plants one on you. Oof, and I plant one on her. She doesn't like that. There's a lot of plants coming out of you. It's gross. But yeah, so that's the situation with Ving right now, and Mears is having a similar time. He's over with some of the younger kids, some of the teens. They're not drinking quite as much or quite the same stuff as the adults, but kids in Pinewood still drink a little bit.

Mears is talking to, like, there's another teenage boy that he's talking to, and he's getting a little, like, Mears is getting a little giggly, and he's trying to be cool with his hook, and he's showing off his hook, and he's showing off his sword, and there's all these kids that he's just kind of having a grand old time with, and yeah, the party's just going to continue. Are the ones… The One Tree Hill singers on stage? The One Tree Hill singers are here? Yeah. No? Weren't they on stage?

We did that whole thing. You know what there is? Okay, so there is a little stage to the side that has its own little underhang thing, and there's, like, a local group that's putting on, like, their own rendition of the One Tree Hill players' ongoing serial. They're remembering their favorite episodes, and they're sort of acting them out, so there's two…

There's a teenage boy and a teenage girl, and they're dressed up, and they're putting on accents to do this thing, and they're like, Jennifer, I love you, and I am willing to give up my career in basketball for you, and she sort of strides over to the other side of the stage and puts her hand up to her forehead and goes, Jason, you've said that so many times before, and your father has come between us yet again, and it's… And then the twin comes, or the half-brother comes in.

I know literally nothing about One Tree Hill. So a half-brother comes in, and he's sort of dragging one foot behind him, and he's hunched over, and he's like, Jason, if you finally rid yourself of Jennifer, you and I can complete our long-lost goal of finding our mother and exacting our revenge on our stepfather, Jared. And he goes, Kyle, no. I just want to be with Jennifer and play basketball on the weekends. And that's sort of what's going on over there. Wait, what is Jennifer doing?

What does Jennifer do? Jennifer is… She's like… She's having a soliloquy because she doesn't know that… What was the other brother's name? Kyle. Kyle. She doesn't know that Kyle's there. It's like a poetic fallacy. Let's hear it. And she's like, what should I do? Should I follow Jason as my heart wishes me to, or should I go to school in… In Massachusetts? Should I move away? To learn how to be… To learn how to be… Anything I've always wanted to be. To… To learn to be…

How's that song go? Anything but what I've been trying to be lately. And then the song starts. And then they all come on stage. Everybody that's been in the play so far comes on stage and they hold hands. And they're like, I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately. And you can see, there's a younger kid to the side of the stage that's now like yanking on a rope really hard. And the makeshift curtain they've made starts to come across the stage and covers them up.

And only the kids are watching. Billy and I are in the back and we're like, whoa! And then, yeah. And I'm like, because we've been gone for like three months. I didn't know what the season finale was. And I was like, that's what happened? Yeah. Yeah, that's what happened is they all got so excited. The players did pass through. You hear from one of the kids later on that the players passed through and they did the season finale. And they were so excited that they had to do it again.

And I'm talking to Billy and I'm like, oh man, I cannot wait for the next season. I hope that Jennifer chooses to go to college. Yeah, so she can learn to be something than other that she's been lately. And you can… You can… I'm sorry. I know, that's so funny. You know how sometimes like a father and a son have a tradition of watching a show? Totally, yeah. Like the son doesn't really understand. Yeah. It's that. Yeah, totally. Oh man, it's so good. And the kids are so excited.

They're so glad that you liked it. Yeah. Like, you know, when they came through, it was just, it was so, it was so beautiful. It was so emotional that we just had to reimagine our own run and just put on our own reruns for everybody here. And we're like, we're really glad that you could come and watch it and that you enjoyed it. Yeah, I think you guys could do this professionally. And they're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And they start like fanning themselves. Like, oh, thank you so much.

Thank you. And I'm like, in fact, if I take out a piece of paper, I was like, I would love to get all of your autographs. And they're like, oh. They're so nervous. And I'm like, because I'm sure it'll be worth something someday. Yeah. And one of them runs over to Yulian. Yeah. And they come back with like a pen, like a click pen. What? Yeah, Yulian's got a pen. Like, it's so weird. He's got this metal pen and it pops this nib out and he writes with ink. Wes is losing his mind.

Yeah, it's, he's, but you can see the kid asks him for it and he hands it. He's like, okay, here's the pen. And as the kid runs away, he's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. But the kid is being very like, and they're all scrawling with this ink pen. And it's amazing. There's no quill. They don't have to dip it in ink or anything. Is this like an artifact from like, The Wizard Times? It is very expensive. He bought it from, you hear, you get the idea that he got it from the city.

He got it from Black Glass. Can we Spout Lore about this? Yeah, sure. Go for it. 2D6 plus intelligence. Well, there you go. See, the thing about these pens are. Yeah, I don't know anything. So you grab the pen and you're like, you're like, oh, look at this thing. I don't want to. Don't make me break the pen. Don't break the pen. Okay. All right. Okay. So what you do do is you press, you're like pressing the clicker. You're like, click, click, click, click, click, click. Wow. Look at this.

Click, click, click, click, click, click, click. And you press it and you press it really hard and you let go and whatever ink reservoir is inside shoots out the back and just lands somewhere in the leaves. Can I see if I can find it? Yeah, you can look for it. Okay. What do I need to get? And Yulium, you see him stand up. Oh, Jesus. And he's like, wait a second. You start storming over. 2D6 plus and what is looking? Oh, wisdom. Wisdom? Yeah. Is this a discern realities?

I guess it would be a discern realities. Yeah. 11 plus 10 plus what? Okay. Wisdom is 11. Yeah, you got it. You get three questions. Three questions from what should I be on the lookout for? Tell me, where is it? Where is it? Tell me right now. I'm freaking the fuck out. So you start. Let me just grab the list. Do you just know the questions? Yeah. There's what should I be on the lookout for? Where's the fucking pen inkwell? Tell me. Tell me right fucking now. I'll beat your ass.

I'll beat the shit out of you. Tuck is telling this to Sean, the GM through space and time. I'll beat the shit out of you personally. Yeah. So you kick around like you run over. You're pretty sure that you knew where it landed and you find it in like buried under some pine leaves and you find it. It's a little, it's almost empty. Okay. Because it looks like a bunch of the ink poured out onto the ground, but you do find it. I just like spit in it a little bit to like make more ink. I'm like.

He sees it. He sees it. He sees it. He sees you. Does he see me do that? I'm trying to hide it. No, you're huge. You can hide anything from anybody if you turn around. I'm on the ground. Yeah. And I mix it up and I put it in. Yeah. It clicks. I'm like, okay. Yeah. And he takes the pen and he looks at it and he goes, okay. I think that's enough autographs for now. And I'm like, you're probably right. You have two more questions, by the way. I don't care. All right. Fine.

What are the, what else is there to know? I mean, what happened here recently? What should I be on the lookout for? Or what is about to happen? What here is useful or valuable to me? Who's really in control here? What here is not what it appears to be? What here is not what it appears to be? I guess I'm talking to him and I'm like, I'm really sorry. I know how rare these are. It seems like a really nice town. You've got a great town here.

And he kind of looks around at all the people having a good time and all the kids are excited about their play and everybody's having fun. And he's like, I mean, what is a fine place? And it's a shame that it's run into the troubles that it has. And we're just really, really pleased that you've come and agreed to help us. As you can see, what a close-knit community of people that really care about each other. And anything that can endanger that is of real concern to us and our way of life.

And sorry, what was your question? The question was, what here is not what it appears to be. Just give me a sec. I got to think about it. Ving and the women are going at it pretty hard. By the fire. And somebody goes, get a room. And then Ving starts building a room around them. Roots come up. Building a room. Ving has used his whole to grow a room around them. A tiny house around him. Beautiful. Billy wanders over. He's like, are you wrestling? No, I mean, technically, I mean. Who's winning?

And you hear, yeah, you hear her go, oh, I am. Oh, I'm winning. She won twice. Whoa. Good for you. Holy shit. Yeah. Yeah. No, Mears walks up and he's like, Billy, let's go over here. Yeah, okay. Let's go back to the snack table. Okay. Did they bring out anything new? They're just like replenishing stuff. So there's like more meat, more alcohol. Yeah. Billy's never been to an all you can eat buffet. So he kind of taking it as a challenge. Yeah. Oh, we'll see.

Let's go back to a little bit of foreshadowing. And as you're like, you're talking to Yelium and he tucks his pen in and he's like, thank you so much for helping us. You're sort of looking around the town and just being like, yeah, this is really nice. And you look over at one of the trees that has like a big patch of green moss on it. And you see in the center, you see that some of it is like a bright, like azure blue. And you're like, that doesn't seem right.

And you take a little, a little closer look at it and it's moving just a tiny bit. Whoa. Yeah. Uh, that's weird. Yeah. But I mean, it seems harmless enough. It's just like, you know, the world is a weird place. Yeah. It could be anything. Okay. Yeah. Um, and then I, I have one more question. You do have one more question. Unless there's like, who likes to party? Yeah. That's my last question. Who likes to party? Thing. Stage. Oh wait, you guys are fucking. Oh, we're done. Okay. Great.

So you just walks over hairy looking. Yeah. His hair is even more out there than it usually is. I got wood. Yeah. You're still pretty hard, but and why, why do you want being on the stage? I was going to do a rendition of Alice. Okay. All right. I don't, I just feel like they've heard it. Allison. Why don't we sing? Rebecca. Okay. Okay. Let's do Rebecca. Rebecca. People start gathering around. What instruments are there? Uh, there's a, there's the flute.

There's that guy's pan flute that he left here. Yeah. So I stand up bass, washed up bass drum. Yeah. Well, I'll take the flute and I'll like smash it. So there's only like the middle part of it. So it's not so unruly. You see that in the back with his hands in his hair. Like, no, I was like, don't worry about it. This is going to be way better. No. And my hands are stuck in my hair. And I'm like, Hey everybody, look over here. Are they looking? Yeah. Some people are looking. Okay.

Like being, you know, I are going to do a song. One, two, one, two, three, four. Her name was Rebecca. And she is not a succubus. When we came down from the heights, we found a bag of cookies. Me and Rebecca hanging out and eating cookies. Get that nookie, get that cookie. Get that nookie, get that cookie. Rebecca, you are something else. You make me feel like I'm in a house. You make me want to walk up a cliff and catch a beam of sunlight for you. Rebecca! And everybody goes nuts. Wow.

It's like, yeah! Do we have to roll for it? It's music, man. You're not trying to, because the last time you rolled for it, you were trying to distract me. You distracted people from the fact that Billy was breaking into a room. Okay. I want to roll for it. All right, do it. Defy danger charisma? Guess so. 11, 12, 13. Everybody goes nuts. They love it. They can't get enough. Yeah, they say, encore, encore. And this time we do Allison. Fuck yes! Mears, look!

Yeah, and Mears is still with that kid that he was talking to, and he's like, I know these guys. And he's like, oh, cool! And yeah, Allison is a huge hit as well. Have they heard it already? A couple people are like, oh! They start pointing at you like, this is dumb! This is Allison! And one of them runs, runs into his room. Like, one of them runs off, and you see him come back a few minutes later, and he's got a big glass jug in his hands.

And he, it's got a cork, and it's got some sort of weird liquid in it. And some other thing in there. And he runs up, and he's like, can you please, can you please sign this? I'm your, I'm your biggest fan. Yeah. I was like, yeah, totally. I got this at great personal expense to me, and I've only listened to it a couple times, because I want to, I want to have it for as long as possible. Okay, yeah. What's your name? My name's, uh, Jigbin. Jigbin. That's me, Jigbin.

Do you have a last name, Jigbin? Yep, it's personal. Jigbin personal. You can share it. It's, it's Burl. I'm a Burl. Oh, you're a Burl. I'm a shite carpenter, though. I don't like to tell people. I, I mostly just love music. Oh, yeah, man. What's your favorite kind? While I'm signing, we're just talking. It's gotta be rock, gotta be rock and metal. You don't get a lot of that out here. Yeah. What is the main kind of music out here? It's mostly like, bed, flutes. Yeah, bed is the only one.

And then someone came through with that, with one of these babies, and I've been holding onto it ever since. You know what? You should make a lute. You should make a guitar. Not me. Well, I mean, your whole family is carpenters. I'm sure you could, like, convince one. I hope so. I don't know if they'd approve, though. You know, the barrel name, it holds such weight. Yeah. Forget weight. Follow your heart. Yeah, man. People would probably love your music. We'll see. We'll see.

You obviously have great taste. Oh, thank you so much. But he's like, oh, yeah, so if you could just sign this in any way that is convenient or easy for you. Yeah, sure. I'll take out my impenetrable billhook, and I'll, like, like, scratch my name into it. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, he's, and Ving, do you use him? Oh, I use my crystal hands. Oh, yeah. Scratch my little name. Oh, yeah. And he's like, oh, this is amazing.

And he looks inside at the liquid and the little, you see a little thing running through it just to make sure that there's nothing wrong with it. And it's like, oh, this is amazing. Thank you so much. I'm going to be the, be the talk of the town. Oh, no, no one's really going to talk about it, but I'm going to talk about it. Yeah, go for it. Thank you so much. And he runs off and he starts showing other people. Cool. Yeah. We should find Billy. Yeah. Billy's, still at the food.

Billy has gorged himself. Oh, and is asleep. Yeah. He is so drunk. Billy's drunk? Yeah. Oh, no. He didn't know what was in those kegs. Jesus. Yeah, you see, there's like, Billy breathes in and snores and a little bit of smoke comes out of his nose. Fuck. And also, there's a lot of chicken in his mouth. He hasn't swallowed it. He goes over and scoops it out so he doesn't choke.

And you see, there's somebody sitting across the table from Billy and he's this, it's just this like big dude and he's eating too. And then he gets up and as he gets up and leaves, you see the image of Perel sitting on the other side of the table. Whoa. He's like, so you're just leaving Billy to kind of do whatever he wants now, huh? He's talking to us? Yeah, he's talking to you too. We go up and we sit with him. Yeah. And he's, he's the way that Billy has been seeing him lately.

So his robe is a little looser. We, yeah, we haven't really described it. I swear that I did, but now, no, I've listened through all the old episodes in the last couple weeks. Never describe him. Okay, well, so just describe him. In my head, he was kind of bald, like kind of tan skin, a sort of sharp nose. Does he have a toilet bowl? But it's very, he like obviously shaved it. Okay. During his life, but you can still see like the stubble.

And then I realized after I started describing him last time with like the glasses and stuff that in my head now, he just kind of looks like Stanley Tucci. Fuck yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, like he just, but he's like kind of, he's like a more tan Stanley Tucci. Does he have a mustache? I mean, he can, I don't know if he had a mustache. He's probably had a mustache at certain points in his life. Cool.

But like he's, he's also, it's all just up to affectation because I don't know if we've really talked about this, but I don't know if wizards are necessarily people in the same way that other people are people. So like he's just decided to have a mustache from here and there. So yeah, he just looks like Stanley Tucci. Yeah. So like you're talking to him and then like you look away and you look back and he's got a mustache. He's got a mustache and glasses. Wait a second.

He's like, oh, you didn't like it? Yeah. Drops into a soul patch. What about this? And then he looks like the scientist from the movie from Captain America. He's like, oh, mustache is better. Okay. Well, what's he's wearing? He's wearing his robe, which is like blue and covered in designs that sort of shift and move. And then he's got like a light shirt underneath because his robes open and he's got like kind of short pants, kind of capris. Like he's, he's casual Perel right now.

Like he's cargo, cargo things on it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. There's little pockets. He's a, he's a professional. He needs storage and you see the inside of his robe. Actually, if this is based on how it looked in his life, it's just covered in pockets. Like the inside is full of stuff. Cool. Yeah. And he's just sitting there like, so you're just kind of, I know that you've let Billy run around in the past, but now he's coming into his own power and he's going to need a guiding hand.

I can only do so much. What do you, I mean, I mean, Billy does what Billy does. We don't have control over him. Well, I know in the past that's kind of been how you do it. Look, man, I trust, we trust Billy. He's never let us down so far. He has a good heart and he has a good will and, and he's got a good head on his shoulders. And then at that point in time, Billy barfs a little. Yeah. Well, he's got a good heart and good will. Honestly, like, I feel like Billy knows what's good for Billy.

He, he looks up and he's, yeah, that's probably true, but do you know anything about fairies? Nope. Fairies, no. Well, that might be what you're dealing with here. And they're creatures of, of instinct and desire. And if, if you want to keep him around, you're going to need to let him know that. Because he could desire another life at any time and he could be gone.

And I turned to Ving and I'm like, like, I hear this like kind of advice a lot, but I think anytime we've tried to like interfere in Billy and how he can governs his life, it like goes wrong. And if Billy chooses, he wants to leave at some point. That's his choice. I'm happy with his choices if they make him happy. Yeah, me too. I think the best we can do for him is like teach him how to be happy and to like understand himself. I agree. And not to swear. Yeah, that's my fucking fault.

I do that a lot. So fucking nice. I taught him most of his bad words. He's he's picked up a few on his own. He had a he had a long time to learn. Do you know how old he is or who his actual parents are? I only know as much as I can intuit from, you know, past research. Just watch him. Doi. Yeah, we're gonna keep an eye on him, obviously. He's our favorite thing. Yeah, we love him more than anything else in the world. Look, I mean, what are we gonna look at? We didn't do a great job tonight.

What are we gonna watch? Him and we point at Mears. What's Mears doing? Oh, what's Mears doing? He was talking to that kid and he's like, okay, bye. I'll see you. I'll see you later. I'll see you tomorrow. Did you give him a kiss? No, he's too shy. He's like, okay, bye. And he's like, you could tell he wants to. He's like thinking about something and he's like, okay, I'm gonna go. And then he walks over to you and he's like, this is a great party. And like, hey, Mears, have you met this guy?

He's a wizard. He looks over and he's like, what are you talking about? Oh, I assumed you were talking to each other and you look back and Peril's gone. Classic wizard. Mears is like, okay, anyways, I'm gonna hit the hay. I'm pretty tired. Okay, sounds good. Did you make it with that guy? He blushes so hard. He's like, what are you talking about? It's like that dude you were talking to. Who, Kem? Kem is, he's cool, but like, I don't know. Whatever. Another way he looked at you. Yeah.

He's like, whatever. I don't even, I don't, who, bye. He just walks off to go find somewhere to sleep. He's like, I'm gonna go find the cart. I'm gonna go find out where Francis went. You should find out where Kem lives. Kem lives over there. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go find where Francis is. We're yelling at him. We're like, Kem really wants it, man. Go for it. I'm gonna go find Francis. Bye. And he's gone. He's gone.

But yeah, and the party can continue, but people are starting to fall asleep at the table or people are starting to go away in groups and on their own and things are starting to wind down. It's pretty late. Yeah. I think me and Ving have to have a conversation about Billy. Okay. Is Billy up? Kind of, but he's rolled back down onto the table. And we're kind of just like rubbing his back to kind of get him through the night. See, Merbo and Yilliam have left. The woman's gone.

But you see, you've got this sort of quiet area under the overhang. What do you think? Do you trust Perel? I mean, yeah, kind of. I kind of do too. And that's saying a lot. Yeah. Because he killed you. I mean, Billy seems to trust him. Yeah, Billy seems to trust him. And like, I don't want anything bad to happen to Billy. He said that Billy could die if he's not trained, if he keeps doing what he's doing. Yeah, I guess he could, but he doesn't really know.

Like he said himself, he doesn't know what fairy magic is like. Like, is there anybody that does? That's a good question. That's a really good question. I actually haven't even thought about that. That's something that would be fun to explore. Yeah, we wake him up a little bit. Yeah. Billy, you've been remembering more and more, right? About your past? Mm-hmm. Who's the first person you can remember? William. William. William. Do you remember where it was? Yeah, it was in the woods.

And he woke me up. This was in the Halfling Lands? Yeah, it was at home. Was it Lone Tree Hill? Yeah. Yeah, it was. And then we kind of like let him fall back asleep. Rub him back. We rock him back to sleep. And we're like, William. Yeah, we might have to try and find, we might have to try and find William or his like descendants, depending on how old Billy is. Maybe there's like some information that's been passed down. Yeah, about like what he is or who he is. All right.

Let's just go to William right now. Just picking. I'm like, I think we need to get to the vault. Ving is hammered. Yeah. No, you know what? Yeah. Let's do it all right now. I start realizing now, I'm realizing now that Ving is still pretty fucked up. I've got smoke for wings and I love chicken. Chicken wings. And I'm like, okay, buddy. And I, so Billy, Ving is holding Billy and I pick up Ving. And I'm like, well, let's get you both to some bed times. Yeah. I'm a bed times. You're a bed times.

We're all bed times now. Bed times now. And you head off to sleep at the, Burbo set you up in the town hall. And you're like, and the night ends. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. My name is Sean O'Hara. This has been Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. And joining, joining me, Sean O'Hara has always been playing Tacoma dome, the barbarian of dual Aziz. Bye everybody. Further friend of Sean O'Hara playing Ving, the half elf druid, Paul offers offers. Bye.

And also next to Sean O'Hara is playing fat Billy, the half elf druid, the half elf thief, Jessica tie. Good night, everyone. And listening to my Sean O'Hara voice right now is you. And thanks to Aaron Reed too, man. I'm fucking this up so thoroughly. That's okay. We got a lot of background. It's fine. And thank you for listening to a podcast, the likes of which the world has never seen the likes of which good night, everybody. See you next time.

And so ends the tale of adventures three, who tried the best they can, the dumb and scared and lost. They be for times of breast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Wow. You can you, or do your chores. And for you, I gladly. It's about.! Oh Oh Oh

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Welcome to Spout Lore everybody!

When last we left our heroes, a lot had happened They had traveled from the city of Highspear through the rest of the Highspear principality Over the borders of the Firefields Learning about themselves, learning about each other, and learning about an axe that Tuck has now Smashes rocks, real good Yeah, it's getting pretty intense And being offered to teach me more about what it does And I said that smashing rocks was good enough for me It sings Yeah, smashing rocks though Yeah, it's still smashing rocks It's a lot of work It's a lot of work It's a lot of work It's a lot of work It's a lot of work them into weapons and stuff.

Shaped like a throwing star, but he can't leave his hand. I mean, you could probably snap it off, but it probably hurt a lot. Billy had a bit of a revelatory experience on his own where he realized where he came from and that he is, in fact, a fairly old fairy boy instead of a halfling child. Yes. It's true. And he has learned to harness his innate fairy magic to make things taste like other things. Yeah, that's about it. Walk by a rock. I think we already discussed this.

Looks like a rock, tastes like a cookie. Eat the rock. Don't eat rocks, Billy. Put the rock down, Billy. Lick it and put it down. Stop eating rocks. If you have to taste it, taste it, but don't eat the rock. Just swallowing pebbles all the way to this town. It's a problem that we've been dealing with. It's like when parents have to deal with a kid who eats too much paste. And then we're having conversations where we're just like, I don't understand why he keeps doing it.

And then we start fighting because I think that any amount of paste is too much paste, but you still let him have some paste. I mean, he can take some rocks, but it's getting unmanageable at this point. I say no rocks. He seems to be digesting them in some fashion. No, they come out whole. Yeah, you weren't… We've had to help him through some rough shits. He's a wizard, not a gizzard. Pretty good. Pretty good. You're a gizzard, Harry. Jesus.

And you had spent some quality time with Mears, who has been traveling with you. Mears has learned that he loves cooking on the road and in doing so has blown through weeks worth of rations. In his defense, it was also us goading him. Come on. Into making better and better food. He was an orphan growing up, so he's making up for all the food he didn't get to eat as a kid. Mears? He has a dad. You met his dad. His mom's a piece of shit, though. But she's not dead. I know, but he thinks they are.

No, he doesn't. He says it all the time. That's his excuse. We're like, we met your dad. I'm an orphan. I never had. Yeah, he's trying to fit in with the three of us because we're orphans. Yeah, except Bing also has a dad. He told you that. Yeah, but he's a piece of shit. Fuck my dad. At least my mom never fucked my dad. Maybe that's what orphan means in this world. If you just don't like your parents, you're an orphan. Yeah, you can orphan from your parents.

And I guess Billy technically has a dad. It's a tree. That was not clear to me last time. He's a piece of shit, though. Billy still thinks he has parents. Yeah, because he's had successive generations of surrogate parents. No, wait. I think he would like that to happen, but I think he knows. He's from the tree. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. So he's trying to come to terms with this memory. Like, try and make sense of it. Yeah. His quest for family has always been a quest for people family.

It's a tree family. Yeah. Yeah. He wants to relate. Yeah, because he tried playing and having a catch with a tree, and it didn't work. Didn't work. It's just him throwing a baseball against a tree. Standing in front of a tree waiting for him to throw it back all day. Come on. Come on. Throw it. Then he waddles up and picks it up again and waddles back. Yeah. And that's how William found him. Throwing a baseball at a tree. I bought you a glove. Kid, what are you doing? Just take me home. Okay.

And that ended with the three of you and Mears and Francis, the woolly pig hippo thing, arriving at the village of Pinewood. And the rains have started, right? Yeah. The rains have begun. So monsoon season is upon us. Yes. The monsoons have arrived. That's the name of a pretty good metal album. The monsoons have arrived? Yeah. Yeah. It was the first album of a group called The Monsoons. Ooh. They broke up right after the album came out.

But every once in a while in the wet season, they come back. Yeah. And they get everyone pretty wet. You fucking know it. And so when you arrived in the town of Pinewood. Jessica, laugh into the mic when I say something funny. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Don't want to be loud. Laugh into the mic so everybody knows the joke I made was received well. Yeah. There's too many times that I make jokes that I hear Jessica laughing very quietly. And I'm like, fuck, I can't boost this enough. Fine, fine, fine.

Okay, I'll laugh more to make you feel better about your jokes. Oh, Abdul seems so sad underneath the brevity. You know, you can just take her laughter from elsewhere. Oh, yeah. Chopping. Chopping some other laugh. So every time Abdul makes a joke, it's the same laugh. Just ha, ha, ha. Cuts off abruptly. You arrived in the village of Pinewood on the shore of a lake. And you were greeted as heroes and warriors as you had apparently, accidentally, unknowingly answered a call that the town put out.

The person that greeted you, Merbo, was thrilled that the warriors that they'd called for had arrived. And the town's problems were now over. It was like an open call for warriors. Yes. So they just put out a bunch of mails to a bunch of towns for a bunch of warriors? Well, we can get right into it. Yeah. Here we are. So we… And what… Wait, before we get into it. What does Pinewood look like? It is nestled in the trees.

Like, there's a few open areas, but a lot of buildings are built next to or under the canopy. So there's a lot of wood buildings. It's fairly spread out. Like, once you looked around Pinewood, you're like, oh, this town's a lot bigger than I thought it was. It's just really spread out. Oh. Yeah. It's like a provincial campsite. There's a little camp, like, picnic table. Wasn't this, like, Goldstream Park? Yes. Yeah. I've imagined this is sort of like the…

Because I describe a lot of stuff as Goldstream Park. One communal toilet. Yeah. Nobody can shit. There's one campsite next to that toilet, which is the one that you always end up getting. Yeah. Yeah. If you're late. I've had that one before. Yeah. You were late. Yeah. There's a pretty wide variety of, like, dwelling. There are large wooden and stone buildings all the way down to just sort of, like, lean twos that are up against trees. Yeah. You can walk forward a little bit after you arrive.

Is there a wall around the camp? Sorry. There's a lake on one side. Is it like a tree fort? Yeah. Like, there's whittled sticks. Yeah. Yeah. It's a palisade. It's a wooden palisade. Like a fort. Like a bunch of just trees that have been cut down and put side by side. Yep. Pretty much. Like the colonists. The colonialists. Are you talking about, like… In Pocahontas? You know, like, welcome to Jamestown, Virginia. She's thinking about Pocahontas. I am. Okay. Jamestown in Pocahontas.

Virginia Company. Yeah. Why are you doing an Indian accent? I'm not. And I mean, like, India. Indian. I thought I was doing a British accent. That one's British. Okay. British India. Yeah. It does… Like, the one border of the town is the lakeshore. Like, it does go down to the lake, and then the palisade goes off into the woods and encloses an area. And there are a bunch of people here. They were all very excited when they heard that the warriors had finally arrived, and Merbo took you into…

A large building near the center of town that you get is sort of, like, town hall sort of vibe. And there are so many people. They're, like, clapping you on the back. They're like, oh, finally. Finally, our problems are over. And they're all so excited. There's, like… Somebody starts playing a flute. It's just great. Everybody's psyched. They're handing us flute. Except for… They're not psyched about the flute guy. Yeah. Everyone's just like, fuck. Yeah.

There's a dude with a huge wooden flute, and he's just like… And you can see the people next to him. Yeah. And he's just like… He's the only one with dreadlocks? It's a pan flute. And they have that really… Oh, but, like, really long, so he demands a lot of room in the space he's in. He has, like, a pan flute with, like, 200 different things. And he's holding it like this. It takes him so long. His arms are, like, ripped, because he has to move the flute really fast to play.

He has so many lip slivers. Just red and bloody. Or they're just calloused. He's got two leathery lips. He's on a slack line as he's doing it. Yeah. And when he's not playing the flute, he just devil sticks. Jessica, into the mic. I am. Don't yell at me. No. So, Merbo takes you into Town Hall, and as he's walking in, it's a beautifully made place. Like, there's a lot of really nice woodwork. It's very solidly made. There's a lot of fine…

Some cool, like, designs carved on the outside and inside. Oh, wow. You're… The crown moldings in here are nice. Oh! I like how you've used the burls in the wood and followed the natural curls. It's beautiful. Oh, Pinewood prides itself on the fine woodworkers that we have in the village. All of the buildings here have been built by the same family, and they have a fine tradition of carpentry and architecture. Oh, nice. Which family? He says, yeah.

The Burl family's been building buildings in Pinewood for generations. Is that you guys, or what? No, I'm not a Burl. What's your last name? Merlewood? Burl? Merbo? Merblewood? Fenning. Merbo Fenning. Fine family. My brother and I, we've been the headmen of Pinewood for 20 years. Are there, like, paintings or anything inside the… It's all carvings. What are the carvings of? The previous heads people of the town. Oh. Pinewood. Some scenes of significant events.

There's one of a dude just, like, punching out a horse. Whoa. Yeah. I like this one. I run over to it. What is this? Oh, that's a fine day in Pinewood's history. One day, a horse came into town and got all uppity, and the brother of the mayor, Tegbig Foreman, just punched him right in the snout. Was it a talking horse? Yes. It was very disrespectful in other ways. Whoa. What ways? He just had a way about him. Oh, yeah. You ever seen a horse and you've just been like, God, this piece of shit?

Yeah. No. Sure. Oh. Yeah, totally. What is happening here? Oh, a lot of things. Anyways, come along. We've been waiting for weeks and weeks and weeks for the warriors to arrive, and now everything is going to be… All right. And he takes you through the town hall. Guys, how far are we going to go with this? All the way? All the way. Yeah. And Mears is following behind like, I really don't know if we should be taking this much time. Shut up, Mears. Shut the fuck up, Mears.

This is how you adventure. First of all, lower your stupid voice. Hey. I feel like I'm speaking the quietest out of all four of us. Mears. Mears. Shut up. Mears. Okay, now you're all whispering. Mears. Look at us in the eyes. All of us at the same time. Look at me in the eyes, Mears. His eyes are darting between all three of us. All three of you frantically. Good. Now shut your mouth. Yeah. We have no food, thanks to you mostly. The monsoons are coming and we have no shelter. Yeah.

Mears, you fucking idiot. Monsoons are coming. We ran out of food because of you and us, but you. And also, this is how you fucking adventure. It's like, you run out of shit, you plan poorly, and then you take a random job that fulfills the narrative requirements of your current quest. And you… You put 100% of your trust in a stranger that you don't know at all, and you let them bring you deep into their township, and anything could happen. And you accept it. Yeah.

If we hadn't done that in fucking Mudlark, we wouldn't have ever met you. You would have had two hands. Think of this cool claw that you got because we went with the flow. Oh, yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you for kicking off a series of events which led to me losing my hand. I really appreciate it. You're welcome. Yeah, you're welcome. Sigh. He sighs really hard, and he just gestures for you to continue. Oh, yeah. We follow Murbo. Yeah.

Murbo takes you into a series of rooms off the side of the town hall. There's a big office, and there's a man sitting behind a desk that looks a lot like Murbo, but instead of red hair, he has black hair, and he's got a full beard instead of the mutton chops, and he's a little bit heavier. He looks like a kind of dude that spends a lot of his time sitting, and he's hunched over the desk, and he's counting coins. And he's making marks on different pieces of paper and stuff.

And he looks up, and he looks at Murbo and says, Hey, what's this? What's all this that you're bringing into my office? I got work to do, you piece of shite. And he goes, Yildim, these are the warriors we sent for. They've arrived. And he goes, Oh, okay. And he sort of takes you all in. Like, it's sort of like a progression. His, oh, and then goes down as he's like, oh, he sees Tuck, and he's like, hell, yeah. He sees Ving, and he's like, okay. He sees Billy, and he goes, what?

And then he sees Mears, and he goes, no way. You can see all that happen in his eyes. Are we sure that these are the people that are best suited to solve our problem? The big one, for sure. But that's a child, and that's a teenage boy. Hey, I'm 35 years old, you piece of shit. Who the hell is this guy getting off? You would have said you were over 100 years old. You're not 35. Hey. You look like an old 35. Biologically, yeah, yeah, totally. You're about an elf 35, a temporal 120 or something.

That's not bad. I can't remember what it is. Oh, no, that's Dan. Dan's like in his early 120s. Oh, yeah, we never specified your age. Because you're half elf. Don't look at my purse. Give me that. Don't look at my ID. Are you carrying around a purse now? The whole time. Wow. It's one of my flaps. Yeah, he's got a lot of satchels. I love your style. Mm-hmm. I love it. It used to be very popular in the early 2000s. The more I listen to the show, the more I realize that Paul says flaps so much.

Yeah, me too. And no one has ever asked him to clarify. Jessica does off mic a lot. It's pouches, right? Like you're saying that you have a lot of pouches. Yeah, and also just like pieces of hides. Yeah, that you keep stuff in, right? Yeah, some of them. And I remember you said that some of them were colorful. Some of them were colorful, yeah. Are some of them for warmth? Yeah, some of them are, yes. I asked for clarification and I honestly didn't get it. No, you won't. You wouldn't, would you?

The more information that I got, the more confused I was. How is it more confusing? He's just got a bunch of layers on and then some purses and pockets and pouches. And then some of them are just general flaps. Yeah. Yeah, totally. It's like skin tags. Different like furred hides. Yeah, skin tags. Yeah. Wonderful. Ears. So yeah, Yulium pushes some paper. Yeah. Yeah.

And he like steeples his hands on his desk and he goes, All right, well, if you're the warriors, take a seat and I'll give you the rundown. Have we been having this argument in front of them? About the flaps? No, that was out of character. No, about Finn's age. Oh, I guess, yeah. Yeah. You are not 35. You're not 35. I'm 25. If you're 35, something's wrong with me. Yeah, and he just says, Take a seat and we'll go over the situation. Okay. I turn one around. I said it. I said on it backwards.

It like, no problem takes your weight. And then, it's beautiful. But like, because my legs are spread so far. Yeah. My dick falls out. Because I have a loincloth. I've switched it back into the loincloth. It's not like a diaper anymore? Well, no, it's, what? It's never been a diaper. Yeah, it was. What the fuck? Because you, because the- Because water kept splashing up on your undercarriage. And so you put a flap underneath your nuts. I gave you a flap to keep your nuts dry.

But- Wait, so when you said you changed back into the loincloth? Because I had cut the elf armor into daisy dukes. Oh, I assumed that was done long ago. No, it was the whole spirit world I was wearing daisy dukes. I think, yeah. I think it is something like you all sit down. Well, Ving, or Tuck at least, sits down and gets his dick out. Do you all take a seat as well? Yeah. Yeah. I just sit on the floor though. I can't reach a chair. Yeah. Do you try and struggle up? Yeah. I like hold on to it.

But it's almost like if I were, like me as a human were to try, like get on top of the fridge. Like I clearly cannot. So I give up, but like really coolly. Like, like who cares? I'm not embarrassed. I'm fine. Great. And he, yeah, he- Mears sits on my lap. Mears looks around, but there are, he realizes there are only three chairs. And he's like- And then Ving's looking at him and he goes like this. Pats his lap. And he sits on your lap. And yeah, Yulium takes you all in.

He looks at Billy and Ving and Mears with some recognition. He's like, okay, that's a halfling. Ving is gently rocking Mears like, you know, like a, like a pony ride. I mean, sure. Yeah. And he sees like a boy that is very clearly from the principalities. He sees an elf. He's seen elves before. And then he looks at Tuck, this like hulking man. Tuck gives him a thumbs up. Yeah. Like, and the fact that you're wearing a loincloth and it's monsoon season and you seem unaffected.

He's like, you seem like you're from parts unknown to me. Yeah. I'm from McCall. Ever heard of it? Oh, I've read of McCall. A fine land from all reports. And also impressive that you can read. I also can read. And then to show, to show him that I can read, I look at a book and I'm like, it's a book. He turns and looks at his bookshelf, which is like, he actually does have like a significant amount of books in here. Yeah. This is maybe the most books I've ever seen.

Wait, so this is the most books you've ever seen? No. There's the, but it's the most books I've ever seen outside of the Maragani Library in McCall. Yeah. Tell me about, so there's a big library in McCall that Tuck's familiar with? Yeah. Every time, uh, like a, a trading, uh, crew or a merchant, uh, caravan would come and, uh, come into McCall.

One of the rules at the port is that, uh, or at all of the ports of entry is that you have to surrender all of your original texts and then the scribes at the library copy them out and they give you the copies and all the original stay. It's like an Alexandria thing. Yeah. Yeah. Which was problematic because of how many fires the library had. So that's why they do it every year. Yeah. So many, so many original texts have been destroyed. It was, it was really a tragedy. Yeah.

That sustained over decades. Man, I like that a lot. Yeah. So that's what Tuck's mind wanders to, uh, when he's looking at Yuliam's bookshelves and you realize that he's been talking for a while. Oh no. And what he was saying to you two was, uh, and Mears was what the situation is. So basically what the problem is, is, uh, Pinewood is a logging town primarily. The, like the majority of their economy is based on, uh, cutting and selling timber to Blackglass and the surrounding towns.

Blackglass being the capital of the Firefields Principality. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, within the last couple months, they saved up a bunch of money and they bought a steam powered tree feller from the city to like up their output. And it was going great. They were like, this is awesome. We can cut down so many trees and we're making so much money. And then, uh, they lost a team of lumberjacks.

Something in the woods took them or they're just, they haven't been seen in a long time and they sent more people out to try and deal with it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a problem. There's a problem.

And taxes are coming soon, and they know that they're not going to be able to pay the tax people in Black Glass for this tax season, and they're worried about what that might mean, and they sent out a call to the city for warriors, and now you've arrived. It took a while, but you're here. Well, that's the situation. We've lost a number of timber jacks, and our tree fellers out there in the woods somewhere, and we need it back.

We need to start cutting timber at the rate that we were before if we're to pay taxes. So you want us to find your chainsaws and your people? That's it. So you can pay your taxes? We want to make sure that we can start working the way that we used to and the way we have for generations, cutting wood. Guys, I don't know if this is the adventure for us. Well, I mean, I turn to Mirz, and I'm like, how far are we away, Daze, from the vault? His eyes sort of glass over as he's trying to remember.

He pulls out his crumpled little map from the side of his backpack. A bunch of saffron. Falls out. Yeah, there's like beans and shit hitting the ground. And he's like, uh, uh. Twelve suppers. Three days? Four days? So when's Maggie expecting us there? Twenty days was what we agreed on. It's been a week. So we have like 13 days. Technically, we have time. Billy, what do you think, bud? Billy fell asleep. Wake up, Billy. Billy, wake up. Sorry. Hey, darling. Billy, wake up.

So Billy puffs up his chest and wipes the sleep from his eyes. And he's like, you know, I once had a position as mayor in a- His eyebrows go up. No, this is great. I want you to monologue. Well, I was once a mayor of a fine town such as this, and I wave around my hand. And perhaps- What? We could work together, mayor to mayor. And my colleagues, I wave to. And we wave also. Bowing. Mears waves. Yeah. Awkwardly. And my colleagues will help as well for price. Oh, well, yes, there is.

There is a reward. That is why we sent out the call for warriors. Of course. Oh, yeah. We would not expect. We would not expect anyone to risk life and limb for nothing. Could you remind me what the reward is? Of course. And he waves his hand over to the side of the room. And he says, a beautiful handcrafted armoire in bed frame. Made by the Beryl family. Priceless. Billy, get him to double it. There's this big, beautiful, like, cedar armoire.

It's, like, carved around the top with nice, like, a nice wolf motif. And there's a bed frame next to it. It's really nice. Get us money and food. You know, the problem is, is that we don't have a permanent residence that could house such fine craftsmanship. Go, Billy. It is a remarkable piece. And, but I don't think we could do it justice. I think, perhaps, would you consider smaller? Crafted wood things. And some money. And some food. I like that Billy's strutting around it.

And he's, like, really, like, mayoral and puffed up. And he's, like, remarkable piece. Beautiful line. Rides his hand along it. And he's, like, amazing craftsmanship. And he's just making up words. And he's, like, I like the scribbles inside. Maleficent knobhead. I say all those things. Yeah, totally. He furrows his brow a little bit. And he says, you are aware of the potential value of such a piece. We are not. Oh, fuck me. Well, what is he, what are we talking here?

Well, you know, without the stability of having our industry available, we can't confirm that we'd be able to pay you any significant sum until it's been returned. But I'm willing to make a deal. Yes. So, provided, what is your fee? That depends. What is your most valuable object? Ving says, puts his hands together. What would you consider the most valuable thing you own? What's the best thing you got? And if you could tell me about the security measures associated with it.

If it was such an object, I would appreciate it. And glance to it now. Is it in the room? Are we near it? Hmm. What do we think? Well, I mean, the tree feller is probably really pricey. Oh, God. The tree feller. Yeah. I am the tree feller. Hoity-toity-toity. Boing, boing, boing. I want to see the steam power tree feller at some point on this side quest. I mean, let's think about it. Because, I mean. Let's talk about this together. What sort of thing would you guys be interested?

What would they say yes to? I was 100% going to let Billy negotiate the deal for us. Yeah, okay, Billy. No, I don't know, though. Which is like, I love that Billy was asleep and then he woke up and he was like, Well, I was mayor of a tent. And he just like dropped into this character that is not Billy. And he's just like, Oh, he's going for it. Okay, cool. Let's let him. He's got the reins now. Let's see where he rides his pony. And I like that we're like. Got a little slack job looking at him.

We have almost like a. Yeah. Free range parenting model. Yeah, totally. We absolutely do. So we're just like, you know what? This is going to be the project for these next few days. You guys are like Montessori parents. Teachable moment. Yeah. All right. So. I also forgot I still have all those black rings around my face. Right. But that have like run down because of the rain. You look psychotic. So as you're touching the thing and going. He's like, beautiful. I actually don't. And it's like.

It's just smearing. Wet. All right. Well, if you're not interested in the arm water in the bed frame, what fear would you like? It's not that I'm not interested in this remarkable, stunning piece of furniture. It's just we have nowhere to put it. And. And again, you know, it deserves so much more than what we could provide. I. Estimate. It's worth roughly 500 gold coins. He like coughs into his cup like, oh, I don't know about that. Sorry. Let's. Let me recalculate this. 200.

It's such a fine piece. Yeah. It's so fine. I would have. I would have thought at least 250 gold coins. And Billy looks over at us and we're like giving him the thumbs up. Yeah. Good job, Billy. Let's see. I like this, like making bigger. One of us is going bigger and the other one's going smaller. And I'm just like, yeah, OK. We're not giving any good advice. You're going to have to roll a parlay, I think. Sure. So the basically the your leverage is so it's put to the six plus charisma.

And the leverage is that you will help them, you know, because it's like, you know, we're interested in this, but you got to give us what we want. All right. Two to six plus charisma. I got four. Four. You got four. Four. I'm so sorry. Shit. OK, so you get a point of experience. Can we? Oh, no. Can we roll again? No. OK. Yeah. He basically says, like, as I said, he's not like mad or anything. He's just like, as I said, our industry is all but dried up.

This is sort of what we're able to offer at this juncture to any potential warriors that want to help. I can't give you any more. As he's saying that, I like gesture to Billy like. I'm like, ask for some like a cool thing instead, like a token or something that we can carry. Also food from one mayor to another. Perhaps I can cut a deal that will work for both of us. My party and I require food. And perhaps in exchange for this armoire, you could provide us with a really cool token of some sort.

Right. Something very cool. Billy does the hand motions that Tuck and Bing were doing. Yeah. He looks like he's tugging hard at like a long shaft. Jesus. He keeps nodding and he's watching you do this. Like, what is this? They're shaking his head. No. But he's thinking like, oh, well, we did have something, a little something planned for any warriors that did eventually.

So we cannot offer you any more for your fee, but we would be happy to offer you room and board and a little, shall we say, revelry. Should you agree to help us? I love revelry. How about two revelries? Yeah. Yeah. A revelry before and a revelry for when it's all rubbed up. Yeah. We could do that. Billy puffs himself up. None of us know what a revelry is, obviously. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Desk like, all right, this is a fine thing. And Marble's like, wonderful. And I'm like, let's shake on it. And then we do our three-way handshake that we do all the time. So the three of you are shaking on it. And Gilliam's just watching you and letting you do it. And then Mears. Mears. And Marble strides up and shoves his hand into the middle. And he puts his big mitt over all of your hands. And he's like, all right, so tomorrow you'll go out into the woods.

But tonight we rubber tree. Rubber, rubber tree. And he storms out. And we get a little montage of people setting stuff up. Because they're laying out a little feast for y'all. Oh, my God. And so the rains have started. It's raining pretty bad outside. But they have a sort of undercover, like a big, wide pavilion area that's like, you know what? Like Goldstream Park. He's obsessed. It honestly is the only frame of reference that keeps making sense to me. But they have those, like, big roofs.

With, like, the pillars. And it's just picnic tables underneath. It's a big one of those. And they set up different walls and stuff to make sure that, like, everybody's out of the rain. But they bring out roast meats and delicious foods and casks of, like, ale and liquor and stuff like that. And there's just a fucking party. They're so excited that you're all here. They're so excited that you're going to help.

And through the rains, you can see that, like, the clouds will break every once in a while in the distance. And you can see the moon is becoming more. And you can see the moon is becoming more. And you can start seeing the edge just through the trees of smaller celestial bodies that are sort of trailing near the moon. And you see the edge of the coronet. The broken moon. The broken moon is starting to come over the horizon. It's still pretty far away.

And it'll be a while before the coronet is fully visible. It's a weird sight for everybody. Like, everyone that looks in the distance of the coronet, when you can see it, their eyes catch for, like, just a second longer than it usually would. Because it's like, man, yeah, that's back. It's a broken-ass moon. Like, no one's seen that in a long, long time. And these people have been seeing it for the last three months, right? It's been… It's still coming into the sky.

Like, it's like you see chunks of it, like, the edge of it. And you're like, oh, wow, yeah, that's weird. But as the days go by, more and more makes itself visible. Oh. But there's a party. Nobody's really worried about that. So there's music and there's food. And just outside this pavilion area, you pass on the way. There's a large stump that's very visible in the sort of middle area of town. It's got a crude… The crude shape of an axe carved into it.

And there's a bunch of hatchets and axes of various sizes, like, smacked into the top and side of this stump. What is it? You can gauge from the things that you've seen in your travels that it's a shrine to the forester. Like, of the innumerable patrons, the forester. Can we do a… Spout Lore? Yeah. Yeah, you can do a Spout Lore. Who wants to do a Spout Lore? Jessica has two cookies in her hand. Oh, wait, no, one of them is dice. Cookies and it's multitasking. Plus intelligence. Five?

You have zero intelligence? Can we aid? Oh, yeah. No, because she's got five. So you'd have to be able to bump it up. What if we both aid? You can't. You ask that every time. Why, though? Because those are the rules. I hate this. So what… Happens when Billy tries to learn about this? You just… I go up and I'm touching all the carvings of the axe. And I'm, like, sticking my fingers in everything because I can't really read. Uh-huh. Okay. There is a…

A brusque older woman that, like, kind of hustles up to you as you're messing with… And you're, like, pulling on axes and stuff like that. And you, like, tug one out of the side. And she comes up. She goes, Hey, you little… You little pest. You can't mess with… Shrines? Oh, what? I'm sorry. I thought it was a statue or a toy. What… Where did you come from that you don't understand the patrons? You don't notice a shrine when you see one. I'm sorry. She snatches the axe out of your hand.

Hey! Yeah. We run up. We run… Rush over. Is this your little mongrel here? Hey! Do not point that axe at that child. And don't call him a mongrel. She's a rescue. Hey, mongrel, rescue, whatever it is, he doesn't know not to mess with things that aren't his. And she slams the axe back into the side of the… Too close to Billy. Well, yeah. It's like whack right back into the stump. And I step in front of her between her and Billy. And she looks you right in the face. She's looking up way far.

She's like five feet tall. Okay. She's pretty hunched, but she's staring you right in the eye. It's like, hey, don't mess with my kid. Tell your kid not to mess with my shrine. And she starts like poking you in the chest. Don't poke me in the chest, you old bitch. No. Who cares? This is… I know. I'm making this too serious. Oh, my God. Yeah. She says, get your… Don't kill her, this fucker. Everybody's just getting mad at you. And she's poking you in the chest.

Get your chest out of the way of my finger. Okay. And he moves and she's just poking Ving in the forehead. You stay away from my shrine. This is everyone's shrine, not just yours. It's not your shrine, that's for sure. You know who doesn't want to hear fighting? The patron of the lumberjack. Oh, the forester loves fighting. The forester fought with the trees every day of their life. They fucked with the trees? They fought with the trees. They fucked the trees? Watch your language.

She starts waving. Get the hell out of here. Your patron fucks trees? She starts steaming up. And it's pouring. And then I go over to the shrine and I start like thrusting my hips there. I'm like, ooh, look at me. I'm the first of the foresters. These trees get me so fucking hard. And you start seeing other people in the town. Oh, no. Seeing you do this. And a lot of people are getting like mad. This situation is escalating. Ving's like, no, calm down, everyone.

It's just this lousy, filthy-tongued, sack-a-saw-diss bitch. Wielding a rack. And it sort of continues like that for a while. She's mad. Some other people are mad. And the party continues. But there's a good contingent of Pinewood villagers that are not psyched about you guys. Fuck this place. Yeah. We're your warriors. You should respect us. And somebody does speak up. Like, it's the flute guy. It's the pan flute guy. Big surprise. Fuck this guy. Yeah, they came here to help us.

We should be more respectful. Oh, shit. Don't know any of the flute guys on our side now? No, that's not good. It's not a good place to be. Oh, my God. We're the flute guys. Oh, no. You hear somebody from the crowd go, shut the fuck up, Ved. Ved? Everybody hates your flute. You suck at it. Pipe down, devil sticks. And the party continues. But there's, like, a weird tension now. All right. I'm going to walk up to that angry lady. Oh, okay. She's, like, steaming. She's drinking a mug of ale. Hey.

Oh, what do you want, you little pest? No, I'm sorry. I really didn't know. I'm just small and innocent and unlearned. And I just thought it was a toy because, like, I haven't had any fun lately. And I had to do a lot of adult stuff today. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, my friend. He's just really protective. I'm sure you understand. And I try to touch her hand. And she's, like, oh, man. She can't stay super mad.

Like, you're not just going to start to keep screaming at a kid that earnestly tries to apologize. You got to roll something else. Defy danger, charisma. Six. This could be an aid. Okay. We pop. I jump in behind her and start rubbing her shoulders. Massage. Massage. Massage. Massage. Massage. Massage. Massage. Massage. Massage. Massage.

Massage oh no don't touch anybody with those hands you kidding me with my elbows then okay all right you gotta roll plus bond with billy oh 12 okay so yeah you make that a seven for billy yeah with a seven she's not jazzed but she uh loves the massage yeah you can see her like loosen her shoulders a little bit close her eyes just revel in this uh this firm massage and her shoulders are like fucking tight like she crystal and crystal yeah yeah yeah and it's not it's not great but she looks at billy with her eyes still half closed she's like all right I understand you seem from the halfling lands I know you don't respect the patrons you don't know enough about them but if you're gonna stay in a town like pinewood you should learn something don't just keep sticking your face wherever it is oh but that's how I learn she looks at billy and she's like oh you know you you don't understand no harm no foul I'm just it's been a tense few months in the town after that blasted machine came down a lot of good people lost their their ways of living and I'm just I'm frightened for the future of the town and I'm taking it out on you you little ragamuffin she sort of pinches your cheek a little bit she says if you're not a good person you're not a good person you're not a good person you're not a good person if I had it my way you wouldn't bring that machine back at all this has been Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara with me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz have you considered that this might be a fern gully scenario playing ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers maleficent knob heads and playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie I thought it was gonna be like a mini thing like we need to have an election thanks to west for all the tech for all the tech for all the tech for all the tech for all the tech for all the tech for all the tech for all the technical stuff thanks to abdul for all the editing work thanks to aaron reed for our intro and outro music thanks to mark and mp for offering up their home yet again and thank you to you for listening we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey is a long one we may be lying a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly be I asked you I don't have to be any one other than a birth of two souls in one there's gotta be an easier way to do there's not there's no way where I'm coming from I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately you!

I'm tired of looking around, wondering what I gotta do. Who am I supposed to be? I don't want to be anything other than me. That was the Lone Tree Hill Singers charting the top 795 beautiful downtown principality. Come on, check us out. Downtown principality, if you're in the beautiful area downtown. Come check it out. Downtown Mulberry, Pinewood. Pinewood. Here we are in downtown beautiful Pinewood Forest. Come check us out.

There's one guy that found a wizard-made transmitter that he's just convinced is still working. And secretly, it is. I thought it was just the town crier. Come on, check us out. Talking into a big horn. Yeah, and I imagine the Lone Tree Hill Singers were actually there. Are they in Pinewood right now?

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hey, what's going on everybody?

It's me, Sean O'Hara. And welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your Game Master. We're going to be continuing our game of Dungeon World today with me as always Playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello everybody. Playing Ving, no last name. Paul Oppers. Ah, it's like Sting. Playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Hi everyone. When last we left our heroes, the journey had begun.

After returning from the spirit world and meeting back up with Maggie Cole and the Menders organization, they had a loosely affiliated guild of sorts. They had agreed to continue their task of delivering Perel the Wizard's wardstone box to a place called the Vault. Some companions were left behind, such as Wicker the Cat, no longer with us.

And instead, now traveling with them, I assume in an attempt to have some sort of accountability, Mears Foulsmith, a newly minted Mender and stressed out teen. There was some shopping happened, and you are now in the possession of a huge hippopotamus sized shaggy pig thing that Ving has said is named Francis, and a cart, and you are on your way to the Firefields Principality. How's everybody feeling? I don't know, like I'm happy. I'm feeling happy that my friend is not dead anymore.

And we're, I, but also I feel a sense of loss. Because… Because we were gone for three months, so there's a lot that we missed. Right, yeah, you found out that upon your return, three months have apparently passed. I've, yeah, I think we missed the season finale of the Lone Tree Hill Players. The, they do that serialized teen drama about a group of teens playing basketball. I thought it was lacrosse. What's basketball again? Um, it's, uh…

You try, you have a bunch of baskets on the end of sticks, and you try, and you get, and you get a little ball in there, and then you try and hit, get it into a net at the end of a field. Lacrosse is when you dribble a bigger ball and try to get it into nets. Lacrosse is French, uh, is a French cooking competition where you make hot cross buns. But yeah, that's sort of where we start.

Mears, uh, is guiding the cart that you all find yourself in, and said that, If you're going to make it to the vault in time, if you're going to travel through the fire fields, you need to get there before the monsoons. Oh, yeah, we want to do that. You're leaving Highspear. Okay. You're traveling down the road and, you know, you pass the road that you know would take you back to Bullrush Village and the relative peace and safety that you found for a few days.

And I get out of the cart when we're passing that road. Oh, and yeah, Mears hauls on the reins and goes, ah, what's the holdup? What's going on? I'm like, I just have to do a pensive look down this road for a bit. So I just, I grab a handful of dirt and I'm like, I let it blow in the wind. I'm like, wait, what was her name? Oh, my God. Allaki. It was Allaki, yeah. I'm like, Allaki. Mears turns back and goes, does he do this a lot? No, I've never seen that before.

I've never seen it with the dirt. I mean, he says women's names all the time, but I've never seen the dirt thing. And then you just get back in the cart? Well, I go up to these guys. I'm like, how did that one look? It looked weird. I mean, there was no wind, so the dirt just fell on the ground. I mean, she didn't die. It looked like you were picking up where you knew her ashes were. Okay. Well, we'll go and try it one more time. And I just, I go back up and I, this time. Kneel. I kneel.

He's coaching me from far away. Kneel. Okay, I kneel. I come up too. Okay. And I start blowing. Like as the wind? Okay, yeah. Because the air is very still. Yeah, it's pretty still. So Billy's just walking around a kneeling tuck? Yeah. He's going. And he's doing the thing where he's waving his arms and pretending to be wind. That's really good wind, Billy. Blow, Billy, blow. They're spit everywhere. And as that's happening, I grab another handful of dirt and I'm like, one day.

This time I say one day. And I look at Ving for approval or coaching. And I say, now. And then I blow into my fist. And as he blows it, Ving runs up behind and gobs as much of the dirt as it comes to his mouth and then just runs down the road with it, throwing it up in the air. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, there's like every once in a while, somebody will walk by with like a hand cart. It's like, hello. Hi, we're in the middle of something. Yeah, people are giving you a pretty wide berth. Cool.

Because you're still pretty close to the city gate. And it's a pretty big city. Yeah. Well, sometimes we'll like turn back and be like, how did that one look? We'll all ask, but now we're all invested in it now. Yeah. And you hear from high up on the city wall, you see a guard go, pretty good. It looks pretty good. On a scale of one to 10 of pensiveness. Oh, like easily eight, maybe nine. Oh, we all high five. What are your criticisms? It's mostly technical, but I'd say you've got the feeling.

Okay, cool. We did it. Yeah. I turned to mirrors. I'm like, how long was it? He looks up at the sun and he measures with his hand against the horizon in the sunlight. Squints, says, I have no idea. Just get back in the cart. We should go. Okay. And he whips Francis, the woolly pig who gives a like. Do not whip Francis. No, it was like a, it was like a, yeah, you know. You'll be pulling the cart before I'm through with you. If you keep this up. Francis, could we go now, please? And he reaches.

He goes forward with his foot and prods the back of the. Hey. I'm just, I'm willing to take alternative ideas. Have you thought of ants asking Francis how he feels today? Or if he's thirsty or if he's hungry or if he needs to have a nap. Or if he's a he at all. Or I, yeah, maybe she's a she or they. He holds the reins out to you. I take them and I drive the pig. Mirrors. Watch this. Oh, Francis, may we please? My lady. And then clip, clop. So Francis, the woolly pig just lets out a.

And then starts clomping down the road. And then being hangs the reins back to beers. And beers just holds them in one hand and just lets, lets the pig do its thing. And yeah, over the next five days or so, it's fairly simple going. You camp at the side of the road when you need to. You stop at roadhouses here and there. What do they look like? This is like a nice area of the principality. Because from Bull Rush to High Spirits, a lot of rolling plains and river valleys.

But the mountain range that High Spirits are part of, the Cypress Mountains, continues on from east to west. And eventually breaks off into like another smaller range of mountains. And the trees start to get denser. And there's more pines and oaks and sort of other coniferous trees that start to get dense. So there's copses of trees that turn into small forests.

And you can see in the distance, the far, far distance, you can see the wall of pine forest that marks the edge of the firefields principality. So there's a lot of nice old wooden roadhouses or small villages in the distance around trees that look like lumber camps. You can smell like the smell of wood smoke all the time. Yeah, there's a point where it's just wood fires all the time. There's cedar in the air. And the road is like wooden planks in places.

And there's also some spots where it's like. There's like wooden bricks that have just been bricked up on this pretty nicely maintained road. Are we passing any people as we go? It gets lighter in this direction. You don't know if it's time of year, although Mears did mention like monsoons. So you think that maybe around this time of year, people don't travel as much because they just don't want to get caught in the rain. This is sort of a period of downtime and reflection.

Like there's a lot of time for you to think about your different things. And there's… Billy's just sleeping the whole time. No, it's so boring for Billy. He hates to reflect. Okay, so here's the thing that happens a lot for Billy. Perel appears before you a lot in this time frame. Because if you remember during your visit to the High Spirit Mall, he's able to sort of enter this state of your mind where everything else has slowed down or stopped.

And he can sort of have extended conversations with you. And he wants to talk about all the magic stuff that happened in the spirit world. And the fact that your crystals have crumbled into just like a hand. A handful of light blue gravel. And he's trying to teach you about magic. Something that you… That Billy took from… Because you and I have talked about this. Jessica and Sean have talked about this a little bit.

But after the planting of Gary, the Gary Oak tree in the forest, Billy remembered something about his past. What did he remember? Do you remember? No. What did he remember? What did I remember? That you remember the spot in your mind. In your memory that Perel has appeared to you before. The tree that you're sitting at the base of is a Gary Oak tree. Yes. But as we have established, Gary is the first Gary Oak tree. Oh. Yes. You remembered the future. Oh my God.

Or the weird screwed up nature of time and space post-Exodus. Maybe the past. Do you think that tree was Gary? I think it might have been. Oh. Cute. But that also with Billy's… He's informing from Perel that Billy is not quite a halfling child. Yeah. He's a little fairy boy. He's a little fairy boy. And that tree, as we've talked about, Billy remembers. What? What? Nothing? What do you mean? I laughed because Wes laughed. Oh, at little fairy boy? Grow up, Wes.

Oh, you're a little fairy boy, aren't you? You just like being a fairy boy with your tutus and your creamsicles. Your pants are so tight. You were short, short. Creamsicles. Creamsicles. Creamsicles? Enjoy lollies. Oh, man. So. But yeah. So what were you thinking Billy's relationship with this tree was? All right. So what I was thinking for Billo is that he is born from the woods. He was found at that tree at his age. Yeah. He's always been that age. He was just born fully formed, basically.

Yeah. Yeah. And he was found by the original William, who was a farmer at the time. William was a nice man. He farmed. He farmed. Root vegetables? Oh, yeah. Yeah, potatoes. Yep. As everyone did. Farmed potatoes and grains. Grains. Short grains. Now you get specific. So William took little Billy in as his own. And he was pretty nice to him. But William was an old farmer. And he left him in the care of his other children, William Jr. And his wife. And Billy doesn't really know him.

And Billy doesn't really remember all of them. But many subsequent Williams, like regular William, Skinny Bill, Hungry Bill, Big Bill, Small Bill. Wait. Did William name all of his kids and grandkids Bill? There's just not a lot of names. Halflings are pretty unimaginative. There's just a lot of Williams and Willys and Billys and Billows. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. That's why you're denoted to be Fat Billy. Yeah. So Fat Billy. Anyway. Yeah.

So Billy's remembered this part of his past as part of his childhood and his heritage. So he was born of the Gary O. Yeah. And a lot of people didn't like Billy because they were like, we've never seen this weird child. His hair is a strange color. He does weird things. Let's lock him up. Let's treat him like a piece of shit. Yeah. He's like an orange piece of shit. Yeah. Let's treat him like the little fairy boy that he is. Yeah. Oh, it didn't help that he wore like such tight pants.

I mean, also because he was so fat. All the pants just ended up being tight. All of the pants that halflings make are the exact same size because all halflings are the same size. And they were just like, this fat little fuck doesn't fit in our pants. We hate him for it. That's why they didn't like him. Because it was annoying. Yeah. And also because he burned down so many grain silos by accident.

And that actually factors into what Perel is talking to you about because he, in a many drawn out, extremely boring, like thaumaturgic, like academic lectures. Yes. He does realize partway through that he's been trying to force a way of magical thinking on you. Yes. But now with the knowledge that you're a fairy, he's like, okay, this might explain, why the crystals have crumbled. Because you were basically trying to force your magical energy through a tool that you can't use.

So while it was amplifying your magical ability, it was also destroying the structure of the crystal at the same time. God, speak English or whatever. That was the plainest I could have made. Speak common. Speak common. Common, please. That was absolutely. That was absolutely the simplest way I could have said that. No. Okay. Imagine you were trying to hammer a nail with a spoon. I have done this. Yes. How did it go? Pretty good, actually. Oh, I don't believe you.

It was a small nail and a big spoon. It went in. It did the job. Yeah. This is when we learned that Billy has, on several occasions, stolen hammers and used them to drink soups. That's the real trick. You think hammering a nail with a spoon is hard? Try drinking soup with a hammer. You guys think Billy uses utensils? Crazy. That's the trick right there.

But the takeaway from all of Perel's magical lecturing is, and he's getting real, like, over the days, he's getting really, like, stressed out about it. And his magical projection of himself from the box, he's, like, loosened his robe a little bit. He's got, like, some short pants underneath. And, like, basically. He's got short pants? He's underneath his robe. Yeah. And he's basically got, like, a polo shirt. Not, like, mid-thigh. You know, like, casual. He's got capris on? Basically.

What the fuck is going on with this? And he's just, like, he's got his. One day, he's got his hands on his hips and his robe's kind of open. And you can see his, like, casual wear underneath. And you don't know why his magical projection is doing this. You think that now, since he's been separated from this, like, dark part of himself for so long, he's, like, getting more comfortable with how he used to be. So every once in a while, you'll see him, like, with glasses on.

And he'll just have, like, these little reading glasses on the end of his nose. Like, what are we doing wrong? What are we doing wrong? You have the ability. What are we doing wrong? I like that he's just, like, becoming more and more, like, a distraught substitute teacher. Where he's just, like. I'm going to get through to these kids. He's just, like, when do I have to wheel out the TV and play Shrek?

At some point, he has to break down and be like, okay, today we're just going to watch a movie. Yes! But the takeaway of this, basically, is that he. He does eventually help you channel this sort of natural fairy magic that you have. And Billy learns to replicate a simple trick. What trick has Billy learned to replicate? Guys, what should I. Food. You just did it. A food thing? Something Billy centered. It's got to be something associated with, like, your appetites.

Because that's the thing about, like, the fae. They're driven entirely by desire, right? Is that true? Yeah. What are we doing right now, Sean? Is it? Are we not improv? Are we not creating the world that we are in? Is there a guidebook? But are we letting Jessica speak or are we directing it forward? No, no, no. I am explaining something to Jessica about something that she knows about. It is very important that she listens to me. Yeah. I call it correct-splaining.

Happy International Women's Day, everybody. Happy International Women's Day. Abdullah's shirt is open. He's wearing a wife beater underneath. And he calls it a wife beater. Okay. All right. I'll throw out an idea. No, no, no. I want to hear it. I asked you guys. Yeah. I just wanted to make sure that we were doing a back and forth. So, in other books that I've read, the fae are driven entirely by desire.

So, it's like all of the magic that they do is, like, it has to be in service to their desire. So, like, Billy's desire is rooted entirely in, like, satiating his appetite. So, that's why. That's how I would. Yeah. Yeah. Tactile pleasures. That's so legit. Yeah. Oh, and tactile. Like, soft. Yeah. The kid is soft and comfortable. Wicker. Yeah. Wicker. Also soft. Yeah. Yeah. Wearing around a raccoon skin. Ooh. Soft. Mm-hmm. So, I've. So, I talked to.

Like, you and I have talked about this, Jessica. And one of the things that you think that fairies are really good at is switching things. Uh-huh. So, is this maybe Billy has learned to, like, switch the materials of small things? Fuck yes. Okay. Yes. So. So, this will be very small scale to start. Okay. It just will be. I had so much. All right. No. Okay. No. Okay. What were you going to say? No. Just go there. I was like. Who's correct-splaining now? Okay. Sean. It's me.

I'm the correct-splainer. I've been the correct-splainer all along. I was going to. This is too big. No. But I was like. I could pick, like, little weeds and then they turn into tasty foods. Croissants. Croissants. A leaf becomes little mini croissants. It's all croissants. That's funny. Ving does the opposite. Yeah. Ving. Yeah. He just, like, he goes into a bakery. He just eats a jar full of. Nettles. Seriously. Kale. Chard. Rutabaga. Rutabaga. Rutabaga. So that totally makes sense. So you.

Billy can, like, pick a weed and make it taste like a different thing. Yeah. He can pick poison berries and they turn into little raspberries. Yeah. That's great. Awesome. So. Oh, I have another idea. Every bed that Billy sleeps in, like, when he wakes up is like. If you touch it, it's like all of a sudden, like, the softest, most comfortable thing. It's like. Almost like. It's an involuntary response where he changes his. His environment. To be more comfortable. Oh, I like that a lot. Yeah.

That's really cool. Yeah. That's really good. And that's why you should always listen to me. Yeah. The correct explainer. The man. A 30-year-old man. But when you figure that out, like, you turn. Yeah. It might be that you pick a weed one day and you make it taste like a new thing. A nib. Like a nib? Yeah. Like a candy. Like a licorice nib. Yeah. Yeah. That is a fun thing where we're just, like, walking down the road and Billy's like, try this one. We're just like, whoa. What flavor is this?

It tastes so good. It's pudding. Oh, Billy Wonka. My dreams. The day you figure that out, like, the day Billy does it for the first time, you're in one of those, like, mental, like, Professor X sort of Perel spaces where he's frozen everything else for a little bit. And he is so excited. Yeah. He, like, pulls a. You can see it in his short pants. Yeah. You can see how excited he is. They're quivering. Quivering short pants. But he pulls out a notebook and immediately starts writing it.

Like, this is incredible. Yeah. Even in my lifetime, I've never observed magic quite like this. So, so instinctual. So interesting. Yes. And then I let out a huge fart. And the time starts moving again. But as time is moving, he's, like, moving forward. He sighs a little bit when you fart, of course. And he gets down on one knee and he looks at you and he says, I am very proud of you, Billy. Thank you. And he disappears. Okay. That's nice. Yeah. And so we'll go to Tuck next.

Tuck, you have a new axe that has been basically created by three rock spirits that you had a very close, friendly bond with in the spirit world. Mm-hmm. Larry, Terry, and Chad. Yeah. When you came through with that axe, one Sweet Caroline, the orc mender, was like, that is extremely dope. Like, that is a very cool axe. Yeah. And. It looks. Because it was created in the spirit world. So it was created, like, partially from, like, my expectations and what was in my head when being created it.

Mm-hmm. And it is based on the artwork on an album cover. Oh, yeah. Okay. That makes sense. Which is why Sweet Caroline loved it so much. Yeah. Because Tuck and Caroline have very similar tastes in music. Yeah, totally. They're both into metal. Yeah. It was off the album. Uh. Uh. Uh. Roadhouse. It has a young Patrick Swayze on it in a monster truck. And he's holding. Back up. Back up. Fuck. Um. Yeah. It's. It's a Ferns in the Water album. Oh, yeah. Called Roadhouse. Yeah.

And it's a picture of Patrick Swayze on it. Um. Great. And, yeah. So Cartwin, as somebody that has a great deal of experience with the spirit world, was just stunned by this axe. Yeah. Yeah. Because, like, she's heard of spirits taking residence in items. But this, like, union of Ving's direction of the spirits and their, like, melding with a physical item is something that she hadn't seen before.

So over these few days, Tuck has a lot of time to sort of get to know this new weapon and how it interacts with the material world. And so, yeah. What has Tuck learned? So this is what it is. Okay. So I. The degree to which I know how to use this magic item is dependent on how good I am at communing with the spirits. Yeah. Totally. Which is something that I have no fucking clue how to do. So at the beginning, it's, like, a very rough tool.

It's just, like, I use it to, like, kind of stone spirit nature to smash other things that have stone or stone in them. Yeah. Very effectively. Yeah. That's awesome. And Ving's telling you to listen to the axe and you don't know what that means. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. And then later on, I can use it to, like, manipulate the other elements that are in the stone. Maybe to a degree that it's, like, the axe doesn't even have to, like, smash them. Yeah.

But it, like, it'll be, like, it'll give me, if I can commune through it with the other elements, it'll give me, like, an element of spirit talker or whatever world. Yeah. For sure. World, like, where you can, like. Communicate with spirits. Like, or manipulate other things. Totally. So. And then you find out that the axe is your father. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. That's great, then. And it's just a narrative thing. Yeah. Like, it's just, it's good at destroying stone. Yeah. I imagine it.

I imagine a scene where he's, like, trying to, like, figure out how to use it. And he keeps hurting himself because he's got so many sharp edges. Yeah. And I imagine, like, Ving would have to help. Like, Ving sees me in a clearing, like, trying to whip it all over the place. Yeah. Handle first, bud. And I'm like. Like, so I hold it by the handle instead of by the blade. Like an idiot. Okay. But, yeah. I imagine it would be, like, Ving.

That would be, like, this is how you kind of, like, clear your mind and commune with the spirits inside. Yeah. So, okay. So, there's a night where you're camped on the side of the road, sort of in a small copse of pine trees. And Mears has made a little campfire. And he's ripped open a bunch of ration packets. And you see he's got, like, some dried meats. And, like, vegetables and stuff like that. And he's cooking, like, on the campfire. And it seems like he's a pretty good cook, actually.

He's making this little meal. Thank God. He's got oils and spices and stuff that he, like, pulls out of a bag. Yeah. And he's just making this, like, really nice sort of rice with vegetables. And, Billy, I can see Jessica's eyes. She just whines into the mic. Like, what kind of spices are you talking? I'm just right over his shoulder. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, yeah. When's that going to be ready? It's like, oh, it should be. It should just be ready. Real quick.

But throughout the cooking process, he's, like, giving Billy a little bit here and there. He, like, cuts up an onion and, like, gives Billy some onion. And cuts up some dried beef and gives Billy some dried beef. And this is happening. Billy and Mears are cooking a meal together over the campfire. It's such a cute thing. Yeah. And just outside the cops, there's, like, a more open grassy area. And Tuck and Ving are out there with Tuck's new axe. Yeah. Shh. You hear that? I hear wind.

What else do you hear? I hear Billy eating. Listen inside your head. I hear guns and roses. I hear G and F and R. Yeah. I hear a sweet metal riff. The axe is trying to say things to you. And I can hear it in the music. Picture Larry, Terry, and Chad. Talk to them now. And I can't. I'm imagining them in my head as, like, the kind of, like, fused version of them. And I'm, like, trying to think things at them. But I can only hear, like, guitar riffs coming back at me. Just go with it.

Let the music go. Just go where it wants to go. That's the way that the axe is talking to you. So I pick up the axe. And I, like, listen to the music. And as, like, kind of the riff, like, extends up. Yeah. Yeah. Do it again. I, like, I take it and I, like, smash through, like, a rock that's protruding from the ground. And it, like, obliterates it. Yeah. It's just this huge, like, whoo. And it just explodes. It just explodes. It's into, like, chunks of rock and stone. Cool.

He's, like, that was easy. Yeah. That was great. I'm great at this. That was great. I don't need to learn anything else. And then Vic's, like, wait, wait. There's more. I'm, like, no. I don't need to know anything. This is so cool. Hey, Billy. I run off. I run off. I'm going to show Billy. I'm going to show him. Hey. I was sitting on that rock. Billy just goes rolling across the ground. I'm okay, but I lost all my food. I go and I scoop him up. And I take him over to Mir's. I'm, like.

We have to give Billy more food. I accidentally. Yeah. And Mir scoops out some more of whatever he was making. And you just have the rest of the night is, like, very nice. Yeah. And Ving, over this course of time, you have some time to reflect on your time in the spirit world and what that has done to you. So, how do you think this, like, extended stay in the spirit realm has affected Ving, who is, like, so connected to spirits and stuff like that, that it is, like, his whole life? Yeah.

Well, it is a rebirth. It is a death and a rebirth. So, he's changed. And that's part of the name dropping. And he's watching Billy, like, Tuck and Billy, like, romp around. And Tuck's, like, pretending to play guitar in his axe. And Billy's, like, eating hairs out of his beard. And you're, like, it tastes like spaghetti. And he's just, like, really there in the soft glow. And Mir's is mixing up his food. And he's. Just full of love and for the family. And he's. All that anger before from his.

What he was on a mission for. To get a bunch of money. To. He was. He was trying to. He was trying to raise. To get an army. A mercenary's army. Whoa. Whoa. He was trying to go after his dad. Whoa. Who is a high-ranking ranger. And. He was. He was trying to build an army. And he didn't know what that meant. Or how to do. Go about that. But he's feeling now. In this life. In this new life. He's feeling some of that anger go. And some of that attachment go. Which is why also he's feeling.

He has been feeling guilty about turning into the spirits. He's been feeling like. Like he can't manipulate. The spirit of things. And he feels really bad. He still has a. The. The. The look on the eagle's face. When he snubbed him. Mm-hmm. Uh. Um. And just everybody. He doesn't want to. Use. I don't know. Spirits anymore like that. Yeah. So. So how does. Like what does that mean for. Bing. Like does Bing not want to shapeshift anymore. I don't think he knows what that means right yet. Right.

Okay. Um. He knows that he can't. Make. Things. So he's going to have to try and find. Find a spirit that is willing to. Give and take. He needs to repair that relationship. Oh. So maybe it means that he doesn't just. Just chain into whatever he wants. But he will find. Uh. He will settle. Into a few different forms. Whoa. Okay. So has. Bing been spending time like. More. Like time sort of casting his mind. To the spirit world. To sort of. Connect.

Or is he trying to find something in the material plane? I think the thing is that he is trying to find. Yeah. Something more in the material plane. And he. He is. A part of him still walks in the spirit plane. Like he was. He was there for a long time. Also. This whole time. In the quiet. Moments. He's been. He's been contemplating. The crystals of his hands. Mm-hmm. And. I would like him to be able to manipulate that. And shape shift. Oh. Crystals as. What is it? Yeah. So. Over the.

The days that you've been traveling. Mm-hmm. At night. Yeah. He's just. Taking some time to meditate. And try and manipulate the crystals in his hands. And you do find a way to. Do like a low level. Of shape shifting. Mm-hmm. A more. Like specific method of shape shifting. So you can. Extend the crystals. Turning them into claws. Or you can make them take different shapes. That are useful. Mm-hmm. Uh. It hurts. Like knives of stabbing weapons. Yeah. Exactly. But it hurts. Quite a lot. Yeah.

Cause it's like. Integrated into your flesh. Gross. Um. It's not like you're turning your flesh. From one thing to the other. You're basically. Forcing these. Yeah. Shards. That are in your body. Uh. Into different like. Offensive shapes. Cool. Uh. Which is tight as hell. Snickety. Snickety. And so. Are you saying that. Ving is trying to find like. An animal. That would be willing to. Lend its shapes to him sometime. Or something like that. Yeah. Totally. I think it's moving from.

Like a shapeshifter. Of a bunch of different stuff. Into more of a spirit animal. Kind of situation. Okay. Spirit. So what do you mean? Can you elaborate? Just so I know. Oh. Just like. So it's something that's. Is his essence. And it's a give and take. And. Right. He lends something to this animal too. Maybe. I don't know. So it's like. Instead of just like. In it being. A casual. Spiritual relationship. Yeah. Where he kind of like. Like. Send missives. Later. You up. At like 2 a.m. Yeah.

And then. I need you for a fight. And then. And then you sneak out. The next morning. Of their. Of their spirit form. Yeah. This is one that you're going to move in. With. We're still open though. Yeah. No. I'm free. I'm free to see any spirits I want. Yeah. So it is a spirit. Just don't want to. It's a specific spirit. Is what we're talking about. Yeah. Okay. Sure. Well. Is that what you want? I don't. Yes. Of course. For now. The fuck I know what I want. Or is it like. Or is it like.

Now I get. Like you have access to the move. Animal companion. And you have like. I would love. To come upon an animal. And companion it. Okay. So. That is something we can do. Like we can. For Billy. He also wants. He's feeling. Yeah. Like Billy needs a bud. And a wicker's gone. I guess it could be like a thing. Where you like. Kind of like. Put a call out. And be like. Yeah. What answers it. Yeah. You're just waiting for a familiar to show up. I like that. Yeah.

I like that he's putting out these like. He's putting out these calls of. It's part of the meditation. So what do we think answers? I don't know yet. Don't know yet. No. Nothing yet. Nothing yet. All right. No. It's going to take a bit. We'll talk about this later. So just every night. There's these like spiritual waves going out. Out of his crystal things. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh I like that. Cool as hell. Smashes them against the axe. Uses the axe. Does it become the sort of thing where.

Now that Ving is putting out this nightly call. To whatever animal. Wants to join forces. Like every time a deer wanders into a clearing. Yeah. Ving just makes eye contact. Like. Yeah. Does it you? Yeah. Yeah. I like it. It's like he wants it too bad. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's why it's not going to happen now. Yeah. He's looking for love in all the places. Yeah. You know like when you're single. And you walk into a bar. And you're like. Which one of these ladies is going to be my wife?

Yeah. Yeah. But in the world of animals. Yeah. Wherever he goes. Every living thing. Yeah. Great. So yeah. That's sort of where Ving's at. Is he's learned to manipulate the crystals in his hands. Into weapons. Which is some cool ass Wolverine stuff. And he's also put out the call to an animal. Rad. Okay. That's great. I'm very interested to see where that goes. And so it's on this like fifth. Sixth day of traveling. After you've all sort of made these pretty huge revelations.

That you start seeing. The clouds on the horizon. Getting darker. And the sky is just getting. More intimidating. As it just becomes this like dark storm gray. And every morning now. Mirrors is looking up like. Oh man. The rains can happen at any time. We should put the tarp on the wagon today. Like he's being a real. Wet blanket. Worry wart. Yeah. Yeah. So at this point. I'm going to ask you all to make an. Undertake a perilous journey role. We're in the. Kind of on the border of the firefield.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's 2d6 plus wisdom. And you pick. Remember you. The three of you pick a role. Pathfinder. Trailblazer. Quartermaster. I'll do trailblazer. Okay. I'll be quartermaster. What's the other one? The scout. Yeah. I'll take that. All right. Whoa. I got 11. Holy hell. Wow. Whoa. 10. Five. Five. What was. What was yours again? Oh, six. Sorry. I got it. No. No. Six is still a failure. I know. I mean, I got the math right. Eventually. Yeah.

So take a point of experience from failing. And you were quartermaster. Yeah. So we all starved to death. Yeah. Everybody starves. It's weird that mirrors isn't doing all of these. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I start like sitting in the back eating crackers. Yeah. This is his job. Pick up the slack, mirrors. Yeah. Mirrors is driving the wagon. Francis is driving the wagon. Yeah. Mirrors hasn't done much in the last. Other than cook. He's been cooking a lot. I got saffron. Fuck. Who cares? Yeah.

I care. That is what he's doing. Mirrors. Like. We're. Walking alongside the cart. And we see like. A fucking. Mountain of clouds in the sky up here. Like. Out of nowhere. We're like. Holy shit. And mirrors is like. Out in a fucking glade. Picking saffron. For dinner. You almost never find this in the wild. Yeah. So we cut to mirrors. While we're staring down the storm. And what does he do? He's. Yeah. He's picking. He's under a tree. Picking saffron. Like. Wow. You never find this.

Especially this time of year. And he's like. Shoving it into a little pouch that he has. And the pouch is like. Hanging off. The strings are hanging off. One of his. Like. Off his hook hand. And he's just shoving saffron into it. He's like. Oh. This is. You're gonna love this. He's talking to himself. Well. He's. Yeah. Cause he's not close by. Yeah. No. He's saying. You're gonna love this. Mirrors. And he turns around. He goes. You're gonna love this. Everybody. And. And he's telling himself.

He's like. This is. Mirrors is lucky day. Yeah. It's. What else is he saying? Or singing to himself? Yeah. Yeah. Pie. Yeah. Yeah. Music. Pie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what the quartermaster failure is. Is. Cause. Scout. Succeeded. Unmitigated. What does a scout do? So a scout is. So on a 10 plus. You get the drop. On any potential threats. So Billy's a good scout. Cause he's what?

Cause he's got his hands up to his face. Like he's. Looking through binoculars. I'm scouting. He brings his. He brings his hands down. And there's like black circles. Cause we. Vig and I as a prank. Just put. We noticed that he's doing that. Put charcoal on his. So we put charcoal on his index finger and thumb. He'll look like a robber. So now he looks like an actual raccoon. Yeah. And the trailblazer. Reduces the amount of time to reach the destination. Okay. Which is great. But quartermaster.

With a failure. Means that. That you use up way more food. Than you were supposed to. And it's because. Mears gets so excited. About a saffron. That every night. He's cooking way more. Than he should be. So it's just like. Every day you're going. Through the food. Like this. Can't be right. And you realize. That Mears is used up. Like a week's worth of food. Like in the last three days. Everything's jumbled up. But it's been. It's been six days. Right. Yeah. But in the last three days.

Since he found the paella. Like over. And the rains have started. The paella. Yeah. Yeah. He made a paella. Because he found like. That there was some dried seafood. Well he's like. I had to make a paella. I brought a paella pan. Yeah. And I opened the. The dried shrimp. And we had to cook all of it. Because the paella. I can't. I knew the proportions. For a big thing of paella. I didn't know how to like. Change the fractions. To make it a smaller portion. So I had to cook all of it.

I am so supportive of it. And Billy. Is manipulating him. Oh. This is your fault. Yeah. Billy's looking at a pile of shrimp. Like. I don't think that's going to be enough. You should put another andouille in there. Yeah. Yeah. What's. What's Billy been doing to mirrors? Yeah. He's been opening all the shrimp bags. And he's like. Look. I found. More. And that I've been mysteriously opened. I think. It's Francis. Billy's using Francis as a fall guy. Well. Billy chatted with Francis. And he's like.

I'll take the heat. If anything serious happens. But I gotta have like. Some sort of. Scalpel. Heat coat. And Francis is not responding. To any of this. Francis is just chewing on a mouthful of grass. Like. Francis looks me in the eyes. And I assume. That means he agrees. And I'm like. We're in this together. My friend. And I put out my fist. For a fist bump. And. He doesn't do anything. It just bumps into his snout. Yeah. Big woolly snout. Yeah. And he gives a. Yeah. Woohoo.

I also think it makes sense. Because usually Ving's in charge. Because he's like. A forger dude. Yeah. But he's just been. Looking at his hands for days. And looking at. Like all the. All the bugs and birds around. He's very distracted. Yeah. Like. It's kind of like. We're all fucking with Mears. Yeah. That's true. The result is that. We ran out of food. Yeah. Mears' big first. Like solo mission. And he's already fucking it up. And you're helping him. Fuck it up. Yeah. Yeah. Great.

So that's been happening. And the rain started. A couple days ago. But it was pretty light. Like. Tuck your. Keeping an eye on things. To the point where. Shockingly. In between. Fucking with Mears. You're keeping things. Pretty well on track. And. You. You're like. Making good time. So. You have. Gone pretty deep. Into the fire fields. Like you're a few days. Into the territory. And the forests have gotten really dense. And the rain's been really light. So you haven't been like. Trapped.

In the rain yet. But you realize that you're. Really running out of food. Like you realize that this is not. A great. Time. So you have some time to figure out. What you want to do. Before it gets really bad. Yeah. Yeah. And part of the reason. Why. We've made such good time. Is because. Every. Every once in a while. I'll put. Francis on my back. And I'll pull the cart. Francis is easily. A thousand pounds. Wow. I'm strong. Whoa. How much do you think. Tuck can lift? Two thousand pounds. Yeah.

Okay. Well there we go. How much does Tuck weigh? We've said three hundred. But I realize that's seven feet tall. And is like comically large. As Tuck is three. Seven feet tall. Like five feet wide. Yeah. Three hundred is way too light. Yeah. He definitely weighs. Like seven hundred pounds. Oh my god. What a monster person. Yeah. Um. Yeah. How do you even fit. In the shitty cart. That you have? You don't. I kind of just walk. Beside it. And I drag it. Some of the time. That's true.

And Francis happily walks. Along beside you. While you're doing that. And sometimes I. Yeah. It's the. We're all having conversations. With this pig. Where I'm just like. Hey are you tired? And I take that. As tacit. Agreement. That he's tired. We're all putting a lot. Into this pig. Like. We're all having. Into this weird. Huge hippo pig. We. So here's the thing. Is we all. Have all just gone through. A really fucked up situation. And we're using the pig. As a therapist. Basically.

Where we're talking. At him. And then. He's just grunting. Back at us. And we're just like. I never thought about it. Like that before. You're so wise. Wise beyond your years. And then we try. And pay him back. By being like. You know. Like. Well. I'll take over for a bit. Because you've been so helpful. And then he's getting in. And eating a bunch of shrimp. He is. Because I'm feeding it to him. And also. I sneak him. Lots of bowls of paella. We have been. Wasting food. Yeah. That. Like. Crazy.

The failure is that. None of you had the good. Fucking sense. To use the food. That you had. Wisely. Even Mears. Who's like. On the clock. Like this is a job. Yeah. And Mears was just like. No. I'm going to just stretch. My culinary muscles. Yeah. Yeah. We're all implicit. He's trying to impress us. Yeah. Well. You've all been very impressed. With like. You know what? This might be a good opportunity. For you to. Like all the characters. To have a discussion. About what you want to do.

Because you realize. That like. You're running out of food. And you sort of get to. You know. Like the. The. The area. When you get into. Goldstream Park. And it's like. Mulchy earth. And there's like. Trees on the edge. But it's kind of wide. But you're still in the woods. You get to a thing like that. And there's a small. There's a small lake. In the trees. And. Tuck has been pulling the wagon. For. For a few hours. And Francis sees the lake. And goes like. And just. Wades. Into the water.

And you realize. That obviously like. Being a weird. Hippo pig thing. This is what Francis is like. Made to do. So. Francis. Wades into the water. And starts like. Floating around. Like a hippo. Like. Eyes just above the water. Bubbles coming out. And just like. Eating. Sea. Grasses. And stuff like that. Having a grand old time. Wow. Do we have to pay for parking? No. It's free. It's the off season. So it's not like. Goldstream Park then? It's monsoon season. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

And it's raining pretty good. But like. A comfortable amount. There's like. Mountains in the distance. And Francis is waiting around. And Ving. You've realized that the food. Has reached like. A critical mass. Like there's not enough. To keep going. Because Mears says that it's still. Like probably two days. To the vault. If he's reading. The maps correctly. Which he might not be. It's really up in the air. Mears is like. They made me like. The weird thing about the Menders.

Is they don't really like. To write stuff down. So Maggie kind of. Drilled me on this. And he's been using the maps. As tamale wrappers. He's just like. Well you just got it. The ink in the. In the. In the map. Really. Really. Lends it a flavor. But yeah. He's like. I'm pretty sure. That I remember where it is. And I'm pretty sure. It'll take like. Two or three more days. Holy shit. All right. Let's see. Let's scout this out. Throw me up a tree. Somebody. He also has a map. I pick him up.

And I'm like. And I. Just chuck me. I like. I. Identify the tallest tree. And I like. Underhand. Easy lob. Up there. So you can like. Perch. And Billy. You see. You land. A good distance. Up this tree. You're looking out over. Like around the edge. Of this lake. With your binocular hands. And. And. You're like. Are you doing it again? I can see so well. I can see so far. You guys. Oh my God. It's so beautiful. I can see the ocean. From here. Billy can see the ocean. Whoa. I.

I can't smell it though. I can see it. It's so blue. Oh yeah. So we've talked about. How the. The fire fields are to the west. Which means their coast. Like it has a coastline. And the coast. Is the sea of graves. Oh. So. Far. Far. Far in the distance. Billy. Can see. Small. Shapes. Wow. Individually spaced. In this far off ocean. The pillars. Yeah. In the sea of graves. Really? Yeah. Okay. Fine. All I see is a coastline. And some. A rocky. Building. Looking thing. But like really far away.

That's impressive. For this. For this boy. Yeah. It's because of his binoculars. But. Because he's fundamentally. Warping. The nature of reality. Around him. Um. Yeah. Maybe his hands actually do kind of. Yes. I think that's. It is. It is. Absolutely. Like when Billy. Because it's. Because Billy's a child. Yeah. So when he plays. He's like. Oh. This. Games become real. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty fun. And it's like a minor enough thing. That it just makes him see like. A little bit better.

And we were always making fun of him for. Yeah. He said he could see the sea of graves. Oh shit. There they are. Oh fuck. He was right. Yeah. And there's gotta be a moment when he's like. No. Seriously. Look. And then he lifts his hands. This works. Oh my god. And then our eyes are. Got black rings really. And he's like. Motherfuckers. Gotcha. So as the scout though. Billy sees any trouble. Quick enough. To let everybody know. Before it's a problem. So what does.

Do you think Billy sees something. Sort of in the trees. In the trees. Yeah. Any potential trouble. Or is it like. The storm is coming. Like the monsoon's about to get really bad. He sees. A big pillar of smoke. Oh. Yeah. Could be good. Could be bad. Yeah. So yeah. You know. You don't have a lot of food. But sort of. On the other side of the like. Like far away. Like down the coast of the lake. You see. A pillar of smoke. Rising up out of the trees. Well it's. To the smoke. Head over there.

Yeah. Okay. And then so you. You just like. Call Francis back out of the lake. Yeah. And head off to the smoke. That's on you. Oh Francis. Darling. We're going. There's smoke up ahead. Francis. Right. And you could talk. To fucking animals. Can't you? I can fucking talk to animals. What does Francis sound like? Yeah. Francis is like. Coming. Darling. Yeah. Francis is like. Right away. I'll be up in just a moment. There's a particularly. Dense batch of grass. Here. I'd like to consume first.

Good boy. Yes you are. Very good boy. Aren't you Francis? Thank you old sport. Thank you. And then. Head dips under the water. You're like. I guess I start pulling the cart. Yeah. And then. And then. Yeah. Francis does follow. Eventually. And you head off into the woods. And you. Find a trail. That leads you. To. A gap in the trees. And you see that. Trees here and there. Are cut down. In the woods. And you hear like. Banging sounds. And smoke. And voices. And the. The trees part. A tiny bit.

On the trail. And there's like. A nice wooden. Gate. Sort of thing. It's not. It's like a. Like a gate with no door. I don't. Are those still called gates? It's like a. A trellis. Yeah. Kind of. Like a ranch. It's like. A log on either side of the trail. That goes up about like. Eight feet. And then a log across the top. That's been. Sanded down in one spot. And carved into the wood. It says pine wood. And behind. There's a collection of buildings. And there are. This is. There's a.

There's a village here. Hey guys. It's a logging town. Yeah. Hey guys. It's called pine wood. Nice. And so you enter the village of pine wood. And people sort of look at you. With. Trepidation. As they see. This like. Like. Massive. Man. With a huge. Scary. Magic. Looking axe. On his back. A weird. Wild haired. Elf. Looking dude. With some. Crystal claws. And a tiny boy. His face just. Covered. In charcoal. Riding. We've been. We've been doing this gag. For a week. Yeah. And it's just.

And Billy has not. Washed. Every time. He falls asleep. We take more charcoal. From the fire. And we put it all over his leg. And it's been. Starting to. We're starting to get concerned. Like. Does he. Never look at his hands? It's like. Yeah. At this point. We're like. How has he not. Fucking realized. It's like a research project. That he is. Basically in black face. No. No. But it has. It has. Like. Without his consent. It's. It's been raining though. But he hasn't washed. So it is like.

Streaky. Like. He looks crazy. Looks like Heath Ledger. Keeps getting in my eyes. And I wipe it. But just like. Puts more charcoal on there. Yeah. And. There's this like. Gangly teen. With a sword. And a hook. And a cloak. And. And paella pans. And stuff. Yeah. He looks like. Fucking Samwise Gamgee. I'm realizing. Like his. His pack is mostly. Cooking utensils. And also Guy Fieri. Yeah. Totally. He's got like. Bleach blonde hair. We've never. From this side. We've never established.

What color hair he has. Bleach blonde. Crazy spiky hair. Okay. Yeah. He's got. But he's got. Super saiyan. Yeah. And it's like. He might style it. But that also just might be. What his hair looks like. Yeah. Like he can't get it. To stay down. And then this. Massive woolly pig. Wanders in. The village behind it. With spots. And people. They see this like. Crazy. Group of people. Come into town. And everybody's like. Talking excitedly. They're like. Oh wow. Oh wow. They're here.

What do they sound like? Oh man. Let's do a new weird voice. Oh. A new accent. New accent. Yeah. Hello there. We've already done the British. No. I'm. Billy's doing. So you're just on the side. Like. Hello. Yeah. I want to make a good impression. Yeah. Totally. Hello there. What. What is your name sir? Tuck and I are like. Wow. Billy. That was amazing. Thank you. We do like. Small applause. In the background. Because. He's like our son. We're giving him. As much positive reinforcement.

For everything he does. Nice job. Like way too much. Yeah. He's going to be a problem. And. Child. He. Somebody. Like. So Billy says. What's your name sir? And this guy. He's got like. Mutton chops. That go into a big mustache. And it's like red. Like red mustache. Into big sideburn mutton chops. And. And big shaggy red hair. He's like a pretty strapping. Tan skinned. Kind of guy. And he runs up. And he's like. Oh. Thank the forester. You've arrived. Ha. You must have. You must. You must. And.

Like people are gathering up. Behind this guy. And he's like. My name's Merbo. What? Sorry. What? Merbo. Huh? M. Y. R. B. U. So just one R? Just the one R. Uh. Tuck is genuinely laughing. At this guy's accent. And he's like. Oh. We've been waiting. Weeks and weeks. For somebody to finally. Answer our notice. We called for warriors. And warriors have arrived. Where? I mean. Oh. Uh. Where? Why is Billy doing this? He's trying to impress them. I. At this point. Oh. Like. Vic and I have to like.

Be like. Okay. Like. It's one thing to do. An accent. To try and impress somebody. But trying to. Like. Do someone else's accent. While they're there. It's a little rude. It's kind of. Billy is so embarrassed. And. And. As you're talking about this. Murbels are like. Oh. I do not mind. This is. This is an auspicious day. For the town of Finewood. And he turns around. And he says. Our problems. Are finally over. And everybody cheers. And mirrors. Looks at all of you. And he's like. I don't think.

This is in the schedule. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I have been your game master. Sean O'Hara. With me. As always. Play. Tacoma Dome. The Barbarian. Abdul Aziz. Goodbye. Everybody. Playing Ving. The Half Elf Druid. Paul Oppers. See you. Playing Fat Billy. The Halfling Thief. Jessica Tai. See you everybody. Sorry for the accent. I am not sorry for the accent. That's going to be a lot of fun for me. Yeah. That's funny. Thank you to Mark and MP.

For letting us come back to their house. Even though nobody's here. And record. And thanks to Wes and Abdul. For making all of the technical stuff happen. Thank you. And thanks to Aaron Reed. For our amazing intro and outro music. Thank you to you for listening. And everybody on Twitter and stuff. That sends us fan art. If you like weird fun drawings. Of Spout Lore stuff. Just follow us on Twitter. At Spout Lore. Or join the Spout Lore fan group. Yeah. There's a fan group. On Facebook.

That I apparently joined at some point. So I very vainly joined the fan group. For my own podcast. I thought we had to join. Well we're all part of the fan group. Well actually. I have not joined the fan group. You made the fan group. No I didn't. I have not joined. But I do creep it a lot. Well I'm a part of the fucking fan group. It's really gratifying. To see all of like. Yeah. Everything that the fans have done. It's pretty great. Yeah. Check us out on social media.

Give us a review on iTunes. If you feel like it. And we'll see you next time. Bye bye. And so ends the tale of adventures three. Who tried their best they can. Though dumb. And scared. And lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute. Or do you. Your chores. And for you. I gladly. Spelt.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hi everybody, welcome back to Spout Lore I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hare And with me today is Abdulaziz Hello everybody, I play Tacoma Dope And he is still hungry Fuck!

You had two sheets that you could have read and taken your time But you chose instead to not It is on the sheet! It is And Jessica Tai Hello everybody, I am Jessica and I play Fat Billy And I, Jessica, still have bronchitis This is the same night as we recorded last time And Fat Billy still does not have bronchitis Uh, he, um… Ow Great, wonderful Just read one thing And they already know! Hey guys, I have a wisdom of plus one There we go Bet you didn't think about that You idiots! You idiots!

Uh… Paul Oppers Hi, I'm playing Ving The druid half-elf human guy Who needs everyone to hold his power And is hung like a zebra What the fuck are you talking about? Sean, you made us do this Is this on… Whatever Is… Was everyone… Is that on there? How do you spell zebra? Does… Is… Needs everyone to hold his power his new bond? Yeah, there's a bond Oh, cool Yeah, he… I don't know when…

Like when something's extreme I think I added that when, uh, Abdul helped him with that fire mishap Oh, cool So big, big, big stuff He really needs the… The family all involved It's a family tie Holding hands Cool Just like that one scene In… Uh… Guardians of the Galaxy? Yes Oh, yeah Yeah So, uh, the family ends up being the solution?

Yeah When we last left our heroes, they had encountered yet again Mender Maggie Cole, formerly known as the gangster muckraker Sweet Caroline the orc, also Mender Cartwin St. Ange, also Mender And, uh, Mears Falsmith, brand new Mender Uh, he's got a sword now, and he is psyched about it You had reunited and sort of given the Menders the rundown on what happened? What happened between Mudlark and now?

And seemingly against her better judgment, but for reasons her own, uh, Maggie Cole has agreed to allow you to remain in possession of Perel's Wardstone box, uh, and deliver it to the vault, which is where? What? Where is the vault? I thought you told us No, I was wondering that last time We didn't know No, we never know Yeah, we haven't actually discussed it Do we think it's in another principality? Firefields… Yeah? Firefields Principality?

I don't know, we haven't done that one What are the other ones? Uh, well, Paul came up with the Firefields Principality, which is sort of a west coast Pacific Ocean, like, volcanic area What's up? And that, I think we've talked about, is where Vertgrass is Oh! The hometown of Etienne Boggins Summertime vacation Uh, so yeah, the Firefields Principality, and then the other two I left up to you, Jessica, and you, Wes, but we never sort of got around to it Well then, let's go! To the Firefields!

Okay, yeah, let's go to the Firefields! Alright, so, uh, and Maggie has left you in the care of brand new Mender, Merus Foulsmith, who has been inducted into the Menders and taught their ways and given the information Pro- you guys will probably need at least a night, because you realize you are extremely hungry Yeah, should I reload up all my HP?

Yeah, you should reload up all your HP, yeah, you should reload up all your HP, yeah, you should reload up all your HP You can do some commodities and stuff Um, yeah, I will say that you spend a night at Cartwin's Apartments, sort of on bedrolls, resting up, so all your hitpoints back up to normal Ving, you and I talked about how Ving's crystal hand affliction is gonna give you an sort of ongoing debility to your dexterity, so your dexterity is functionally zero, your modifiers is basically zero right now until you find a way to heal your hands of this crystal Infector.

To heal your hands of this crystal infection. Is Cartoon a healer at all? She is, technically. Yeah. Can you do anything with this mess? She spends a while looking at your hands and sort of inspecting them and rubbing them with various oils. Just take a picture, lady. Yeah, Cartoon has some fucking repressed sexual whatever. Oh, my fucking God. It's for sure she's horny for Shathane. I mean, whatever. I miss that dick. You know, I was him for a second there.

I was in the spirit world for what felt like forever. Yeah, it was a long time. Yeah, it felt like 69 months. She shakes her head. She says, I… We, Billy and Tuck, are watching this from the other side of the room and like… Quietly high five what he says. Can Tuck be doing six with his fingers and Billy's doing nine? Yeah. Tuck has to… I've been in there for… And then Ving looks over. 69. Tuck has to what? Tuck has to adjust my fingers to make sure I'm holding a nine.

He hasn't learned how to count. Dismany. Beautiful. You're making jokes and she's like, Shathane was a dear friend of mine and… I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't fully understand what happened to him and I don't know if I will, but… I can tell you a little bit about it if you want to know. Yeah. I would love to know. Yeah. He stayed behind.

He needed to… Find the woman that he loved. The only woman that he ever loved. And he said that he thinks that he can help her on the inside and he was doing it for… His child? She gives you that sort of like quiet… Rueful like laugh and shake of the head. She says, well, maybe he'll find what he needs this time.

Anyways, I've taken a good look at what's going on here and I've applied every sort of expertise and experience I have to what's going on with your hands here, but I don't think I can help you. I'm sorry. Do you know anybody that might? Have you ever seen anything like this? I haven't. I've seen people afflicted by spirits before. But I don't know what happened here. Maybe you being a shapeshifter the way you are, the way that the spirits interacted with your physical body in the spirit realm.

It's just outside my sphere of experience. What about that Master Boda guy? Oh. Would he know? Would he know anything about this? Master Boda? Yeah, he's a druid that I learned from. Where is he? I wish I knew, but… He's probably taking a too long shower, you know, the way Master Boda does. It doesn't even sound like masturbation. Are you kidding me? It sounds exactly like masturbator. How old are you? Whatever. Master Boda. Master Boda. Language, Billy.

She says, I met him on a mountainside outside the principalities 40 years ago, 50 years ago. In the… In the firefields? No, closer to the… Closer to the Great Forest. So, if you can track him down there sometime, I don't know, maybe he can help or… I don't know, maybe they'll fall off. I don't know. Jesus. Thank you. Thanks. What the fuck? Your bedside manner is crazy. I say this from across the room. I'm not a doctor. No, you're not. I'm a painter. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Get off my back.

Get off my back. This is terrible. We shouldn't be asking for medical advice. Thank you for realizing that. We forgot what you were. We were in the spirit world for an indeterminate amount of time. And also, Ving has never met you. Great, great, great. Hi, I'm Ving. Hi, Cartwin. Nice to meet you. Cartwin St. Onge. Nice to meet you. Sorry, what was your last name? St. Onge. Oh, enchanté. Oh, okay. And she says, you know what? Get some rest.

And I, when, while this exchange is happening, I lean over to Billy and I'm like, I love watching Ving talk to women because it's like watching a fucking train wreck. Train wreck. Train wreck is a band. A band. That literally one of their members dies every time they perform. Oh, my God. Why do they still perform? It's for the love of the music and also because they hate some of their band members. Wow. I don't even know what time of day it is. Because the environment wasn't set up.

It was just like, you guys stayed over. I'm like, but what time is it? You can't tell in a mall. It's like a casino. I guess so. That's a good point. Yeah. When you came to, you saw through the like hole in the wall. Hole in the wall. Because there was, there's windows above, there's like a glass ceiling above that the light was, oh, come on, guys. The way the light was filtering through, you assumed it was about, or it was around like late afternoon.

And as you talked, the light grew dimmer and it's now nighttime. Is it dark? Yes. So you guys are looking at your hands and we're trying to sleep over here. We are in sleeping bags watching this happen. Still in Cartman's apartment. Yeah, absolutely. We are. We're sleeping in the granite cart. Smash everything. There's like a fire in the middle that I built out of her broken wicker furniture. Which she put out immediately. Yeah, wicker burns so fast.

It's actually, the hole in the wall is- Is it repaired with the armoire he destroyed? I should say, yeah, the armoire got wrecked for sure, but the apartment's a lot cleaner than you remember it being when you went in. How long were we down for? That's a good question. Do you ask somebody about that? Yeah, we yell it from across the room. Yeah. Hey, we're just wondering, hey, we're over here watching your flirtatious interaction. Flirtatious?

And we were wondering, how long were we in the spirit world for? It's been three months. What? No! Yeah. What? Did it feel like more or less? It felt a lot less. So yeah, Cartman says, yeah, it's been three months since we put you under. Whoa. Yeah. How long have I been dead for? You were dead for like a week before that. Anyway, can I get you anything? Yeah. Billy covers his eyes. What are you doing? Pointing at my peen. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go to my room. So crude.

And I'm gonna close the door. Can I roll for a peen look? No. Yes! Okay. So Cartman gets up, and she goes to her room, and she closes her door very pointedly, and Tuck, Billy, and Ving, you're left in the main room of Cartman's apartment to go to sleep for the night. What? This was a sleepover for everyone? Yeah, Mears also sleeps in the apartment.

Maggie and Carolyn go somewhere else, but everybody's there in the morning to sort of see you off, and Maggie comes up to the, the three of you, and Mears, and says, okay, so it's 10 days to the vault. It should only take you 10 days to get there. Okay. Walking, camping, walking, camping, maybe stopping in a town to resupply, and then continuing on. Yes, Billy. I have a question. I walk very slow. Can we double this to 20 days or 30 days? Because my, my legs are very short. Oh, my God. Please.

Maybe we can get you a cart. How about that? No, I need the exercise. Okay. Let's call it 20 days. 20 days. Not bad. That's pretty good. Way to go, Billy. I'll speed walk. And we get five gold a day, you were saying? I have given Mears a small amount of money to cover some expenses. Some? Yes. She hefts up a bag. She says, this has enough food. Once she thinks, 20 days. 20 days. And she puts down that bag and grabs another bag and shovels some more like packets into it.

She's like, now this has enough food for 20 days for the four of you, three of you. You don't eat, right? I don't need to eat. Spectacular. Those Lunchables? This is enough food to get you to the vault. And then from there, you can resupply if necessary. If after 20 days, I do not hear that that box is in that vault, I don't need to eat. I will come for you. Billy, yes, again. I think there's just a lot of questions that aren't being answered. Like, what? Are they Lunchables?

I would say that, yes, there are ones specifically for lunch, but they're all for the same meal. And so, sort of depends on when you eat them. Is there anything special we need to do at the vault? Is there anything we need to do a special to show them? Are they expecting us? They are expecting you. They've been expecting you for three and a half months. Well, that delay of three months was mostly Cartwin's fault. Cartwin goes, you fucked up the spirit thing. It took a lot of time.

And we're not going to do that. And we're not going to do that. And we're not going to do that. No blame is being assigned. You literally just assigned blame to me. It's true. Listen, what he means is we aren't mad at you, but it's your fault. Cartwin says, I'm not even going to begin to explain why it… She stops talking. She just looks so exhausted. You look tired. Maggie turns to Mears and says, Mears, I'm sure that you can already see all of the ways that this can go wrong.

I am counting on you to attempt to wrangle these three in any way necessary. His eyes are wide, but he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do whatever I can. I got it. And he salutes. You know the way to the vault? Oh, I do. I know the way to all the vaults. Let's get the hell out of here. Yeah, let's go. Yeah. And Maggie takes… Makes one last look at Caroline standing behind her imposingly, arms crossed. Says, don't screw this up. Billy, yes, one more time. Can I say goodbye to Wicker?

And you see her resolve like break a little bit as she kind of goes like, oh. Because he can't come with us. Wicker runs to you. Yes, you can say goodbye. Wicker? And I put my face in his fur or her fur. Was that my voice? No, that was Paul making a cat noise. I don't know. I have to be strong, Wicker. But you have been my friend and I love you and I miss you. And Wicker nuzzles your face. I nuzzle Wicker's face. And I wipe my tears on his face. On her face. Her face. On her face.

Ed, gender's a person thing. Who knows? A cat doesn't really care. Billy doesn't know anything about gender. Yeah. Ed, I love you. I think I said it already. Do you love me? Ving says, she says she loves you too, Bonnie. Thank you. And she believes in you and she knows that you will do the right thing when the time comes. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I'll never forget you. And she says, you won't have to. Wicker hands you a compass rose. Hands? Hands.

Yeah, paws you. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Wait, am I the only one using my imagination here? So yeah, you see that classic thing where like in 90s shows there was like a paw on a stick that they would use whenever a dog would do something crazy? Yeah. Yeah. It's like moving around. It's that. It's like a cat's paw on a stick. It's totally fucking stiff. You can see the Velcro with a piece of rose on it. Yeah, there's a fucking compass rose glued to it. Follow this.

And then it just touches Billy's face. Take this compass rose. Ving tells you. Really? So now you have a compass rose. Yeah. So Ving is saying Wicker wants you to take a rose? Yeah, take the compass rose and follow this rose. It'll lead you to where you need to go. Oh, okay. Oh, that's pretty nice. Actually, Wicker cannot pick things. Wicker is a cat. I just want to be clear. Wicker nudges a compass rose with his goddamn schnoz towards Billy. The fuck? Oh, you people. Rocks turned into an axe.

Yeah, Sean, you really ruined a moment here. Oh, fuck. It's nice. There was a fish horse for a while there. It's nice, but it can be nice and make sense. No. It made sense before. Okay. Wicker hands me a rose. With his nose. With his nose. With his nose. With his nose. With his nose. With his nose. In her teeth. In her teeth. Wicker hops down from the couch that she's been sitting on. She runs out outside of the door of Cartwin's apartment. Wicker.

And she comes back padding back in with a compass rose in her mouth. And she walks up to Billy and she drops it at his feet. What do I do with it? And she meows. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. She says, follow this rose. It'll lead you to where you need to go. And if you keep this with you, she says that she will always be able to come back to you. I love you, Wicker. And I give her another hug. And I put the rose in my pouch with my blanket. And you all leave.

Well, as we're walking away from Cartwin's apartment, I'm talking to Billy. I'm like, that's really nice that he gave you that gift. Yeah. Should I give her something? You don't have to. What do I do? Nothing. That's just nice. Yeah, it is. Yeah. She gave me a gift, too. What? She left a dead mouse in my sleeping bag. She'll be able to find you, too. And before you well and truly leave the High Spear Mall, is there anything that you want to do? I have a couple of things.

A couple of things I need to finish up before we leave. Okay. What is the first one? I'm going to go to the Spearmint B&B. Okay. To find Dan. Uh-huh. Spearmint is a nice, cozy little B&B. Not unlike a Holiday Inn. Not that cozy. Pretty shitty, actually. But it's very standard. Nothing like a Holiday Inn. In your travels, Billy, you haven't really traveled all that much. But Ving and Tuck, you've seen a ton of Spearmint B&Bs. It's definitely a chain owned by one family.

And their thing was like, we're going to put a bunch of B&Bs in every goddamn city. In the world. And they did it. And they're… They did it. Certainly. Oh. Everywhere. That's their slogan is Spearmint B&B. Certainly everywhere. Yeah. So you go to the Spearmint B&B and you ask for Colonel Dan Fossey. And I go up to the guy at the counter. I'm like, hey. And then I look at his name tag. Oh, fuck. Don't do this to me. Sir, what's your name? Torg. Hey, you. Torg. Look at me. Torg. Torg. Torg.

Torg. Torg. Torg. Torg. Torg. Torg. I am looking at you. I came in at this pretty hot. Yes, you certainly did. Let's start it again. And I shuffle back. I shuffle back around the corner. Pretend you're wearing a tie. And then I come back out. I'm like, hello, sir. Hello. Okay, I'm going to try that one more time. I'm like, hi. Hello. Torg. Yes. I'm looking for a friend of mine. What's their name? Dan. Either Colonel Dan or Dan Fossey or Dan Derglot. Dan.

He looks at a sheet of paper he has in front of him. Room 4-1. Then he goes back to reading whatever book he was reading. What book is he reading? I notice he's reading a book. What are you reading? I'm about to walk away and I see the book and I shuffle back. I'm like, what book are you reading? He's kind of embarrassed and he turns away. He says, nothing. No, tell me. Don't be shy, Torg. It's a book. It's just a book. Come on. It's a normal book. It's a normal book. What is the title?

Love and Lust. Oh, can I see the cover? No. Billy. What? You're a child. Can I see the cover? Yeah, can we see the cover? Then Ving and I shuffle behind the camera. We squeeze back there. No, I go over the counter. Climb right over. He's kind of sheepish, but he turns the cover to you. It's a book. It's a book. It's a book. It's a book. It's a book. It's a book. It's a book. It's a book. It's a book. It's like a buff knight, but he doesn't have a chest plate. It's just bare chested.

But he's wearing all the rest of the armor? And he's got his arm around another knight who also doesn't have a chest piece. Oh, sick. Guys, what does it look like? It's two daddies hugging. Yeah. Wow. And they've just built a tent. Oh, is it a nice tent? Yeah. Yeah. It's wildly larger than you would think is humanly possible. Cool. When you are done with this book, may I borrow it? Sure. We'll finish it quick because we're going to grab it on the way out. Good luck, room 4-1. Okay.

We go up to 4-1. Ving goes, good for you. Goes upstairs. He goes upstairs. Torg looks around like, what? There's no stigma against homosexuality in this world. No, honestly, this is a show for escapism. Stuff's cool. Everybody's cool. It's the best. So you go up to room 4-1 and knock on the door, I guess? Yeah, I do. And you hear, just a second, just a second. Housekeeping. Housekeeping. You see the light behind the door. The peephole dim for a second. And you hear, oh.

And I guess what I hear is that I instinctively kick the door. Give me a defy danger. It is a 100% instinct reaction, though. And what happened is. It's a knee jerk reaction. No, but you're kicking the door open. But like, it was in the process of being opened. And it just, your foot slams against it. And you hear, oh. And sprawled out on the little. The little hallway between the doorway and the main bedroom is Dan Durglott. Dan, hey. Dan. Wow. Oh, it has been.

I didn't think I would ever see you three again. How are you? We're good. Who's this? That's Bing. Billy, you idiot. Yeah. And you hear, I'm Mears. Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh. We forgot Mears is here. Yeah, no, I figured. I figured. I'm supposed to keep an eye on you. But you know what? Mears didn't forget. That's why he's with us. That's why. He's the leader. That's right. Technically. Okay. What's going on with you, Kern? Oh, it's great. Lumpley and I, we started a new business.

We're sort of, we've been here at the Spearmint for a few months now. And what the fuck happened to your hands? Oh, with these? Oh, is that deliberate? I wouldn't say so. Oh, yeah. Anyway, sorry. We've been at the Spearmint for a few months. We got a new business. I think you guys are going to be pretty excited to hear. We went all in on hats. And how did that turn out for you? Bad. Wow. So now, that was a couple months ago. So after hats, we went to kettle corn. And? Terrible. Wow. What next?

Right now, the idea is bespoke watch straps. Okay. Let me stop you there. Okay. Rethink that. Oh, my God. You're right. No one's going to wear a watch. They're huge. Oh, what next? What next? And he starts walking around his room. Oh, hey, what are you doing here? Oh, right. You owe us money from the fucking when we dragged your ass into and out of that swamp hole. He, his eye, like he's walking around and you see his eyes go. Oh. Oh. Dang. Yeah. Yeah. I do, don't I? You sure do. Oh, man.

Well, have I got great news for you. I can't wait. I'm trying to think of some great news. It's hats, isn't it? It might be hats. How do you guys feel about hats? Fuck you, Colonel Dan. Yeah, give us our goddamn money. Don't try and weasel out of this again. What about kettle corn? I swear to God, I know you have money in here. I'm going to have to pay you. I'm going to have to pay you. I'm going to have to pay you. I'm going to have to pay you. There's a ton of work coming in here.

There's a ton of work coming in here. There's a ton of work coming in here. There's a ton of work coming in here. There's a ton of work coming in here. Fucking object in this room. That's yours. Yes. Sounds like a parlay. Here we go. So it's a 2d6 plus charisma and the thing is give me money or I'm going to smash all your stuff. Yeah. Okay. Nine. Nine. Anybody want to aid? Yeah, I'll aid. So it's 2d6 plus your bonds. How are you aiding? Give me all your shit or I'll smash your shit.

Touch you with these hands. Yeah, I'll stick these crystals where the sun don't shine, Colonel Dan. Five plus my bond. Two. Yeah. Seven. Seven. Great. Okay, perfect. So that's a 10 and your aid is great. So he goes, okay, okay, okay. All right. Okay, okay. Look, look, look. We are on thin ice with the Spearmint B&B so please do not break anything. How much did I owe you? I assumed that you knew. It was five. It was five per. Day. Day. Three months ago. Three months ago. Well, now hold on.

It was five to get me to Mudlark, I think. Five per person per day. That seems high. And it was a three-day trek. So that's 15. Times three is 45. 45. We're at 45 gold coins. And then we, did you want us to fucking leave you in Mudlark? Yeah, but hey, guess what? Hey, we can put you back there. No, man. That wasn't part of our deal. Are you serious? I did not hire you to get me out of Mudlark. Oh, we did that? Yeah. Is that because we like you? Yeah. I'm pretty sure we don't like you, Dan.

I assumed that you were doing it out of the goodness of your hearts. Well, you assumed wrong, you cheap shit. Give us, you know what? We'll take 45. Yeah. Wow. Great. 45. 45 it is. And he, he says, turn around. No. No, turn around. No? You know what? After you literally kicked my door in to demand money from me, I don't want you to know where my little, nest egg is. Is your nest egg potentially in that Fabergé egg on the shelf? And his eyes like flick towards the egg? And he goes, no.

Does that thing even hold 45 coins? No. Does it hold more? No. I believe him. Okay. Yeah. Well, I'm going to take this egg. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He runs over to the egg. He said, 45 gold. That was the deal. I'll give it to you right now. Okay. Yeah. Don't make us turn around. No mystique with you. And he takes the egg down and he kind of covers it and he turns away a little bit. Don't do that. And you hear a squeaky, squeaky, squeaky. Don't tell me what to do. I already did.

Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky, squeaky. And jingle, jangle, jingle, jangle, jingle. Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky, squeaky. And he puts it back on the shelf and he comes over and he dumps it into like a little bag. He says, all right, here you go. And we're done. We're square. We're clear. That's all. You got it, Dan. Here you go, Billy. Here's 15. Thank you. And Mears goes, we had money. We have expense money. Yeah, but you're in charge of that money. This is our money.

We can do whatever we want with this. All right. And he starts moving out of the way as Lumply, the halfling merchant, saunters into the room because there's two beds. Oh. Nice. Yeah. Lumply goes, what is going on in here? Oh, it's you guys. Yeah, man. How you doing? What's up, Lumply? I'm doing all right. You know how it is. You know how business goes. Business is the way that it is and that's the way that Lumply lives. And he says, oh, hey.

And he ruffles Billy's hair a little bit and he kind of looks at you for a little bit longer. Yeah, what? What's up? What are you looking at? You look different. Oh, is it my mustache? Mustache? I don't have one. But I like to think I do. No, it's not. I don't know. Never mind. Well, anyways, and he sees you like counting the gold coins on the bed and like divvying them up and he goes, oh, Dan. Dan. You pushover. He goes, I tried. And Lumply looks at you like, did he try? Yeah. No, he tried.

Okay. He tried. I mean, I threatened to break everything he owns. I threatened to put these inside of him. You were going to put those inside of him? That's what I think I said. All right. Well, you know, it was nice seeing you. I hope that you didn't take us for too much because we got big plans, big plans, bespoke watch straps. And Dan goes, no, we're not. I don't think we should do that anymore. Well, we'll come up with something. Yeah, you will.

You guys are going to take over this town, the two of you. Yeah. You're going to have your name in lights. Yeah. Anyway, we're going to get out of here. Okay. Thanks for honoring the deal, Dan. Bye. You're a solid man. Good merchant. You know you don't mean that. No. Yeah, for sure not. You're a terrible merchant, but you're a solid guy. So Dan kind of looks at the three of you like, you know what? Thanks for everything. I love you, Dan. Whoa. I don't know where that came from.

Your heart, Billy. Thank you. Okay. Bye, Dan. Bye, everybody. Billy, I love you too. Okay. Whoa. It's a child. You fucking. You fucking. He's a fucking weirdo. And then we, yeah, we just storm out. Yeah. And we scoop Billy up protectively. Thank you. I don't know what he was going to do there. His eyes got wild. I was being platonically kind. Listen, I know what platonic is, and I did not see that in your eyes. All right. Bye, everybody. Bye, Dan. Bye. Bye. Bye. And he closes the door.

And then we grab that love and lust book from the counter guy on the way out. And Tor goes, okay, you know. I'm not done, but I don't think I'm going to finish anyways. Don't worry, Torque. You'll find your dad's. And he looks at you like, thank you. You'll find your dad's too. He already has. And we join hands and walk out. All right. What's the second thing Tuck wanted to take care of? I wanted to go to the security office and search through Shathane's desk.

So you go back to the security office. There's various security officers sitting around. You don't recognize any of them. Hey, what's going on? This is like a middle-aged woman. It's like, hey, what's up? Is anyone knows Shathane? Our boss? Yes. Well, our former boss, I suppose. Who's the number two here? Who's in charge now? That's me right here. What's your name? Tina. Tina what? Tina. Tina. Tina. Durger? Tina Durger. He doesn't turn her, but let's do Durger. Tina Durger. Tina Durger.

Security officer. Yeah, that's me. What's up? What can I do for you? You need some help? Yeah. Shathane gave us these keys before he stayed behind in a different plane of existence. So we're going to rifle through his shit and then we're going to leave them with you. Well, you know what? I have no reason to say no. But Shathane's. Office is now Tina Durger's office. So you can find all of Shathane's things in a box in the hall. Okay. Yeah. We'll go out there. Yep. And there it is.

What's in there? Like a bunch of writing implements and. Cool. Paper. Anything good? Some pictures. I guess there would be a couple things that he'd confiscated. Like what? What are the goods? Roll me a 2D6. What am I rolling with? No, it's just a straight roll. Oh, four. You find a really nice golden filigreed spoon. Wow. Yeah. It's kind of burnished, but it looks really nice. And Billy, your thiefy hands. You get the idea that this is probably worth like around 40 coin. Let's pocket this.

Shathane would want it. Okay. Anything else you want to do? Is there anything else in there that's any good? I mean, it's. It's a box of all his stuff, right? Yeah. So I guess there'd be one more thing. It's probably not going to be as like overtly valuable because you get the idea that anything truly valuable of his would have been skimmed already. What about the pictures? What's in the pictures? It's like there's a woman and she's just like a human woman with kind of light hair.

Can I take the picture? It's a portrait. Sure. I'll take the picture. Yeah. Okay. And yeah. So you can give me another one of those rolls. That's like the D10 and the D6. Tuck, if you want to jam through. I got two sixes. Two sixes, which is a 12. Oh my God. Well, that was a mistake on my part. Finally. Oh, for God's sake. Cool. Okay. So at the very, at the very bottom of the box, sort of in the corner, and it's like in another thing. It was in like a pencil cup. You find. A small. Ring.

Made of a very light colored. Wood. That's been smoothed down and it's got a small arrow carved into it. And then you immediately recognize this as the insignia of the Ranger Corps. That's a Ranger ring. And you know that especially outside the great forest, they are incredibly rare and would be extremely valuable. I will trade you this picture of a woman for it. Deal. But go ahead and roll me 3D6. Can you, can you roll these twice and then one more? Eight. Twelve. Fuck.

All powerful Ranger ring. You think that if you were to find the right person, cause it's a very like, you know, the average Joe is not going to care. But like a collector of that sort. Of object. Would probably pay up to 1200 coins for it. Whoa. We're fucking rich. This is a great find. I like that. Like I've never given you guys treasure really. And now this is just sort of paying off for all the shit you've been through. All the treasure. You look through the box. I think two valuable things.

I think so. Probably good. I, I take the picture of the woman and I press it into my amulet. Oh, I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. While I'm good. And Tina looks at you. Tina kind of gives you like a once up and down. She says, maybe.

And she goes back into the office. And then I trip. You just fall on your ass. But you also hear from the office, Tina go, did you hear that? That was a good line. I am extremely proud of that. And you hear a guy go like, it was pretty good. And yeah, so you, are you heading out? Please. Yes. Okay. Vig's getting antsy in the mall. He's having a conniption fit. Yeah, so 20 days. Later. Wow. That adventure was mind blowing.

Well, so you head out of the High Spear Mall and you travel through the city of High Spear proper, which though you've been in the mall for a while, you've spent no time in the actual city of High Spear. And you see people going up with their lives and you hit one of the main gates. Mears is leading the way. He suggests very earnestly that you maybe get a mount of some kind or a wagon so you don't have to walk for 20 days. Yes. Sure. Yeah, man. Mears, you're in charge. This is your time.

Oh, man. I'll find the mount. Okay. I guess you get the cart. Sure. Yeah. Maggie gave me some money and Mears leaves you two for a while. Billy and Tucker just hanging out like, I don't know, at a cafe or something. Well, we're like flush with money. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What do you do at a cafe when you have cash? Okay. What's in the cafe? It's baked goods of various kinds. Croissant. Yeah. Describe them. There's ones with cheese in them. All right. There's ones with little hot dogs in them.

There's one with like a little, nice mashed potato sort of thing in it. Yeah. There's also danishes. Nope. Can't call them that. Why can't we call it a danish? Because they're from Denmark. Denmark's a direction. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Okay. Fine. Danishes. Yeah. I asked the waitress, can I have 12 of the mashed potato croissants and I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. The biggest oat milk that you have steamed, please. The biggest oat milk that you have. It's the size of the other ones. Okay. Is he going to get hammered off that? No. Oat milk is fine. Oat milk. Yeah. But do you have, I lean into her, do you have cow's milk? She looks at you like, yeah. Can I have a very small cup of cow's milk? Like an ounce? Yeah. Just, so is this, would you consider this a feast? Yes. Okay. So a feast costs 15 coins. 15 coins. He does it.

This is exactly what I would have expected. Yeah. So she comes back with like a shit ton of baked goods and she comes back with a big wooden cup of cow's milk as well. Oh my God. This is a shot? Oh, it's milk. You want less? Well, no, I'm fine. Billy is gonna get fucked up. Yeah. Sorry, our cups only come in one size. Okay. If the listeners don't know, halflings get drunk on cows. It's too rich. It's so rich and creamy. That's why they drink oats milk most of the time.

Well, they mostly drink oats milk because they can't reach the cows and it's way easier to milk oats. Because they're just not tall enough. But when they do get some cow's milk, they're just like, oh, party time. Party time. So Billy's going nuts on these croissants and the cow milk. Yeah. And is Tuck just watching this happen? No, I'm somewhere else. What are you doing? I went to the alleyway playing craps. Oh my God. Yeah. You left me alone? I left you with the waitress. Okay.

Technically, I left you with the waitress. So you find some people playing a dice game. Yes. I walk up to them and they're like, hey, what do you want? Get out of here. I was like, hey, I got this. And I open up my hand and there's 15 coin in it. And they all go, whoa. Let's get some fucking business. Come on in. Come on in, pal. Roll the bones. Okay. And I pick up the dice. How does this game work? Simulate everything. Yeah. It's going to be a 2D6. 2D6. And a 7 to 9 is a partial success.

And a 10 is a full success. And a 6 is a failure. So please understand. Hey. I'm betting it all on black. That's five. That's a five. And they go. So you go, I'm betting it all on black. Roll. And they go, red. And they take it away. They take 15 coins. Right. I'm like, a sailor's job is never done. And I salute. I give them a little salute. I walk away and I trip as I leave. And you come back into the cafe and Billy is knee deep in a pile of croissants and drunk, I guess. Oh, yeah.

So what's Billy doing? He's just having a good time. He is living large and in charge. He's feeling loose. He's feeling conversational. I feel like he is saying this to the waitress. He's saying this to the waitress right now. He is. He's feeling loose and in charge and in charge. Yeah. And Tuck, you come back. And Billy's face is covered in milk. Like he's got that milk mustache all around his face. I turn to the waitress. I'm like, did you give him real milk? Yes. He can't handle it.

How am I supposed to know that? You were supposed to be taking care of him. I thought I was. I really, truly thought I was. Don't worry, Janice. I gave milk to a child. Janice? Janice, you did a great, great job. I feel great. Thanks, little guy. No problem. I'm going to assume you can take this from here. I can handle this, Janice. Have a good day. Bye. Bye. And then I turn to Billy. I'm like, did you get so drunk you started narrating your own actions again? Yeah.

And Ving, it's at this point you return with your mount, with the mount that you've acquired. Yeah. Yeah. So Ving comes back with what? Hippopotamus. What? Why not? Um, okay. Is that? No, I'm, hey, whatever. Hey, we're going. It's a hippopotamus covered in hair. It's a hairy hippopotamus. Fantasy world. Sweet. I'm into it. What's it called? A woolly, a wool, woolly pig. Woolly pig. Great. Wow. So it's a big, hairy pig looking thing with a big wide mouth. That's very comfortable in the water.

Yeah. And they love to swim. Which is where we need to go. Great. Yeah. To find a crocodile. And, uh, and Mears shows up shortly after. Wait, wait, did you name? What's it? What's this thing called? Because Mears gave you a little bit of money to get a mount. So that's covered. Also, he had the best temperament out of all the mounts I talked to. Sweet. Yeah. Um, what's his name? Um, Francis. Francis. Francis, the woolly pig.

And, uh, Mears is walking down the street and you see behind him being pulled by two, uh, strapping youths, uh, is the absolute shittiest cart you've ever seen in your life. It's like, it's big enough for all of you and your stuff. Uh, but it looks like it might fall apart at any moment. And Mears goes, I, I really over lent to Ving on the mount. And, uh, this is what we got. Sorry, guys. Oh, it's great. All right. Well, let's, let's mount up.

And they strapped Francis into the cart and, and you load up Billy's wasted, uh, Mears is already stressed at having to lead this expedition and he's driving. He's got the reins to Francis in his hand and he, so Mears takes the cart on the Westward road and he looks at all it and he says, okay, buckle in. Cause this first part's going to be a little rough. If we're going to make it through the fire field principality, we're going to want to beat the monsoons.

And he whips Francis and starts heading down the road. Thanks for listening, everybody. This has been Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara with me as always playing Tacoma dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long, everybody playing fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica tie. Uh, good night, everyone. And playing Ving, the half elf druid, Paul offers. Goodbye. Thanks to West Lord, our technical producer.

Thanks to Aaron Reed of Vancouver's Sunday service for our amazing intro and outro music. Thanks to Gavin at input cowork in the NIMO BC for our wonderful recording space for this evening. And thanks to you for listening. Have a great night, everybody. While it's night here. Bye bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be for times abreast in revelry.

And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resume. We will return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I gladly spell dawn.

Hey and welcome to Spout Lore coming to you live from beautiful Nanaimo, British Columbia. N-A-N-A-I-M-O. That is how you spell Nanaimo. That's the Nanaimo official anthem. Two people out of five are sick. So I'm one and Jessica's the other. See if you can tell what parts were cutting out because we were coughing too much. An Easter egg for fans is go back and re-listen to the episodes and whenever you hear some of us coughing, that is an episode that was recorded in the winter. Yeah.

And for you Patreon supporters, try to find the fake words that we throw in every episode and check out the bonus episodes of just the coughing. Coughcast 2019. Coughcast. Patreon supporters donating $25. $25 or more a month. Oh. We'll get just the lip smacks. And if you go $30 a month. It's all beard rubbings. For $30 a month, I will come to your home and cough in your face. If you live on Vancouver Island. For $50 a month, I'll come over and cough in your face. Whoa. Oh.

Search Jessica Fee on… She's so… Speller Jessica Fee. On Google. Cut that. Oh. Yeah. Stop that, Abdul. It's… I'm not the first person to ever say this. Yeah. I just want this to happen. You're a dirty pervert. No, I need this to happen. Whoever was searching Spell Lord Jessica enough for it to be the third most recommended search on Google. Oh, it's the second most recommended. Is it the second now? It's above Spell Lord Podcast. Oh, man. That's our ticket to fame. I'm happy about that.

I'm fine with that. There's a ton of work to be done. Heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half healthy, shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round friends and listen close for the tale's about to start. Hi everybody, welcome back to Spout Lore. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara and with me today players Abdulaziz. Hi, I play Tacoma Dome. He loves ribs. Oh man, you took mine. I couldn't find anything on my sheet that was worth saying. Worth saying? I think that's perfect. Ribs it is. Yes. Jessica Tai. Hi everyone.

I have bronchitis and Billy doesn't. That's what you're choosing? Yes. Billy, okay, Billy doesn't have bronchitis. This is notable feature. Okay, high five. Great. And Paul Oppers. I'm playing Ving, formerly known as Ving Vang Zumba. He has come out of the spirit world with just his first name. What? You lost your last name? On purpose. No. You left your name? Ving's gone sting. Cool. Cool. Is this canon? Yeah, no. Hoof. Ribs are canon. Oh, fuck. Bronchitis is canon.

Paul talked to me about this before we came down. He was saying that Ving is like entering his Gandalf the White phase. What? I am shook. So, when we last left our heroes, they had returned finally from the spirit world and had returned to the High Spear Mall. Oh, God. Leaving behind What's his face? Ally, friend, some would say, Shathane Wick in the spirit realm to complete his own quest to find his family. Find out what happened to his wife and child.

Shathane took the place of Ving so he could return to a physical body. Ving briefly looked like Shathane before taking on his natural form and Shathane briefly looked like Ving in the spirit realm before taking on his natural form.

And now the three of you came to sitting around the table with none of your equipment or weapons on you tied up with a hooded figure in Cartwin's secret room who, after some posturing and attempts at badassery, revealed himself to be 14-year-old teenager Mears Falsmith whom you met in Mudlark all those many months ago? Yeah, I think it's only been like a month. As far as you know, yeah. A month, yeah. Is what Ving says because he feels like he's been in there forever. Yeah.

Well, I think so because you were in Mudlark for a couple days. It took seven days to get to Bullrush Village. And yeah, so Mears had a bit of changes. He looked a little bit rougher. He's also missing his right hand and it has been replaced by sort of a pinching hook apparatus. He's got a sword. He has a cloak on. And he revealed himself to you under his hooded cloak and said it was nice to see you again trying to be gravelly and cool. And that is where we are now. What do you do?

Mears has revealed himself to you. Mears, what the fuck happened to your hand? Oh, this? It's pretty cool, huh? Yeah. Yeah, a frog ate it. What? Is that when we left you behind? Yeah. I'm gonna right out of the gate say we looked for you for a solid five minutes. Oh, I want to believe you. I really do. No, I did. Honestly, go back and listen to the episodes. I was screaming your name for a while. Yeah, well, Mudlark was under attack. So it was kind of hard to believe.

It was kind of hard to hear. And I assume that you really just cast your eyes about within the 30, 40 feet around you. But you know what? It's all good. I got a whole new lease on life. I'm any points at the copper needle poked through the side of his cloak. It says I'm a mender now. Oh, sick. We have one of those. And then I'm just gonna rip through the ropes. The ropes. You're gonna give me a role for that. Yeah, just to take out the mender's needle. What is the role? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, my God. 12. Yeah. That's a lot. What ropes. Yeah. So I just like, I stand up and I just snap through all the ropes that were tied up. And Mears just watches you for a second. And I pulled the needle out. I'm like, look. Wait. You're reaching as if you're reaching into a pocket, but you're shirtless. Is it stabbed through your flesh? Just sitting under your nipple. No. I think it's in Billy's hair.

I just reached and pull it out.

Mears is watching you for a second as you break through those ropes just casually and then he realizes what you just did and he starts fumbling with his sword I just like move in and I show him the needle I put my crystal hand on his you're tied up did you break oh yeah I want to also break the ropes with my crystal hands and grab his all right give me one of those 2d6 oh man I missed playing with you guys seven plus my strength nine okay yeah and you reach forward you break your ropes to it like they snag on the crystal shards and just like shred and he is so freaked out that he just grabs the hilt of a sword and starts pulling it out yeah and he bashes you right in the face in my in my face in your face roll what's his damage guy it's probably not high is there a d2 no no come on we'll give him some credit flat one over there we'll give me or some credit no no no it's a six four it's one damage I've got one armor you certainly do I sneeze yeah so you break your ropes and and mirrors and I want to grab his grab his claw hand his hook I wanted to like identify with him that things aren't what they used to be and we all are a little changed now and but we're still the good people that we are and we're still the good people that we are used to be I want to assure him and show him that I too have suffered a loss and I'm struggling with my new found appendage well he and what's Billy doing during all this I don't know he's just watching this all happen just placidly like he too is wondering about the hook well he just explained well I mean he said that yeah but what happened to your hand now Billy's just imagining Billy's just sitting there imagining a frog eating his hand over and over again like was it a bunch of little frogs yeah was it one small frog that took a long time was it the big frog I thought we took that one out was it the smaller big frogs and Billy's like yeah how how big so yeah he bashes you in the face and you kind of grab his hand and hey you don't have to draw your sword and he and he he sheathes it again so he kind of clacks it back in and what you're just saying like it's you were just showing him your hands yeah just just yeah calm down I guess he's getting riled up about us breaking our bonds well yeah totally because he was like guarding you and now everything that they've done to restrain you has been for not he uh he goes okay okay okay okay all right chill yeah no okay I will I will chill uh but just a sec and he like clacks his sword back in and he goes over to the secret door that Cartwin led you in through and he kind of pops it open when he leans his head out and he says hey uh they're awake they're awake now and you hear you hear somebody say something from the other side and he goes okay all right and he turns back to you and says uh I guess you're already free except for except for you Billy so um yeah do you want to cut me loose or no I'm gonna try to get out of these myself I may as well how's Billy doing it trying to break is he trying to break the bonds or is he trying to slip out yeah he's doing whatever no but like what is he doing wait what did you roll but it depends on what stat you're using okay what's oh come on no you have to decide and then roll you said strength you said he's just trying to break the yeah he's just trying to break so you rolled a five yeah I did oh wait what am I using it doesn't matter it's five uh so so how does Billy Billy just what flexes tries to break out um yeah but he um uh he flexes one side but forgets to flex the other so he just falls over uh he can somebody uh can one of you grab him oh yeah I pick up Billy and I just like rip him out oh thank you like a rapper like like a thing oh his wrist careful careful yeah you see you see mirrors kind of sigh as you just effortlessly snap these ropes because it's a lot easier to break ropes for tuck like when you're not also these were very poorly tied I I tried okay whatever this one and I point to what before I rip Billy out of it I point to one of the knots on it I'm like this is just the shoelace knot like look and then I pull one end of it and then it all falls apart okay maybe I don't know that many knots well I'm I it's been a learning experience these last these last couple months have been a lot of learning for me about everything but not and um he walks into Cartwin's like apartment and sitting on one of the couches that Cartwin has in her room you see Cartwin she's sitting in a chair to the side and in her lap is wicker and she's sort of idly scratching wicker and she looks at you and she's very stern next to her is sweet Caroline the orc she's leaning up against the wall she's got her arms crossed and she's watching you and sitting on the couch facing directly at the secret door is Maggie Cole whoa look at all these faces that we haven't seen in so long how's it going everyone does Billy Maggie doesn't say anything she's sitting there and it's at that point that you see Maggie and you see her face and her and her long sort of reddish hair and you go oh it's Maggie and then you realize she's wearing full armor and leaning against the couch next to her is a long spear and on the floor at her other side is a shield something bad happened and she sees you and she stands up she grabs the spear she laces the shield through her arm and she steps forward and she points the spear right at the nape of your neck tuck she says where is my box I grab the tip of her spear with my crystal hand she looks at your hand sees the sort of crystal shards and looks at you says you've been through a little bit I've been through a lot regardless give me the box I take it off my back I'm like fucking like okay here don't you have to make us feel like assholes about it so you're just you have the box in your hands yeah I just take it off my back it's always there I'm like here take it don't be mean to us when we just woke up from spirit sleep it's hard to sleep spirit sleep while you're saying this Caroline has walked over taken the box from you bodily like she's ripped it away and she flips it over and she sees the crack on the top she goes look at this and she turns it to Maggie and Maggie flicks her eyes to it she's still got the spear like unwavering at your throat and she looks back at you tuck and says what happened oh!

Was this you?

I yeah I lost my temper you have 30 seconds to give me a reason not to kill you right here I oh god oh man I am not good at thinking under pressure 25 all I can think is the numbers that you're saying 20 shit help somebody help um I I jump up and I'm like hey it's uh not his fault and um you can blame me if you want I try to be really brave I close my eyes I'm ready for the spear take me instead if you spear him you'll have to spear me first steps in front of that I'm looking for an explanation well you're only getting us to spear instead of your explanation 15 Ving starts counting down 15 14 13 look you gave us a fucking magic box with a piece of shit wizard in it the wizard got out of the fucking box he killed Ving and then we had to go to a goddamn spirit world to save him so honestly if you really think about it you're to blame for all of this except for when I broke the box that was on me you're gonna have to you're gonna have to make a roll to convince her what am I gonna do?

Am I rolling?

Defy danger charisma I guess like it's not really a parlay 30 Maggie is just staring you in the eyes and she looks over to Caroline Caroline looks at her they sort of have an unspoken conversation she lowers the spear and they both walk back over to the couch and they sit down she takes the box from Caroline and she's just looking at it she's staring at this crack in the top she still looks angry and confused but she looks at you and says tell me everything alright okay so last time we saw you we were on the boat we were on a boat and then you and then we and then the frogs came and then I hid from I hid downstairs in your office and no that's before that's before oh shit cut that she knows that part you did hide Billy you did hide that's a really good memory yeah that's a good memory good remembering we ran away we tricked you we led you away Mears here helped no okay no we didn't trick anybody should we start again?

You guys are going backwards okay okay I'm sorry can we start again? No that was the way that you did it was yeah no this is all great in character there was a log across the trail no that was I found a broken shard of a spear I was in the womb everything was warm and wet that was 400 years ago yeah I remember something warm and wet no you definitely don't absolutely do not okay so okay where did you want us to take the box? To the the vault to the vault yeah the vault what do you call it?

The vault?

So we were just gonna take the box to the vault and the way we did that was you gave us the cat the cat so the cat's good sup wicker he's a nice boy or girl and he led us through the woods by sniffing the flowers and he said that are orange and then he brought us to a river village a bull rush and I got warm and wet with his dreams I wrote a poem that girl almost died from all those crocodiles it was a crocodile attack took its teeth and then Billy went crazy I was a real groucho Billy that was scary yeah it was I was a real groucho I was in a bad mood for a few days and then I took it out on these crocodiles remember that chicken chased you for a while I do and then we and then the old lady convinced us to teabag teabag the little boy Billy yeah in a magic river in the pool that went backwards in a magic pool when you say in a magic pool she goes oh oh okay so yeah I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know and then I remember the big penis coming out of the there's a dick monster dick monster in the pool oh when the penis monster language Billy sorry when the monster member monster when the member monster came out of the water he he grafts he grafts I can't say it he took a hold of Bing and I got really upset and I was like I'm gonna save you so I made some magic with the water and all this pink light came out and and then I can't remember what happened after that at that Maggie and and Caroline share a look I woke up surrounded by the elk and polar bear and owl in the spirit world after Bing died we were all sad for a while yeah I was sad you all mourned me adequately Bing's looking around at everybody with his eyes really wide open I was sad I was sad and then we came here to try and find Shathane and when you say Shathane's name Maggie shrugs you know Shathane why would I because you know Cartwin yeah and Cartwin knows Shathane okay Cartwin you know Shathane yes I know Shathane so you know Shathane right Maggie do you know everybody I know I know Caroline and Mears okay so do you know anybody else I know Billy she's I know I know I know Bing puts his arm around Billy looking at Maggie sighs and makes a gesture as if to say please continue so we we came here we went and then they took us to the spirit world Cartwin sent us there with a sexy ritual that she did oh Bing looks at Cartwin Cartwin looks around like excuse me there's a lot of fabric falling from your chest I was in a trance oh yeah so so was my little dome good god she just shakes her head she says after we're done this you're gonna tell me what happened to Shathane now please wrap it up yeah you kind of know the rest we went in we went in the spirit world and we found Bing and we had to fight a lot of bees and we came wasps sorry and we came back um and and Mears was super rude about it Mears uh like looks at Maggie like oh somebody told my boss that I was bad at my job like no I I uh I was doing what I was it was you know a lot of shifts Bing holds his hands up with the like shitty ropes on them like spaghetti noodles she looks at Mears like did you tie the shoelace knot again and he sheepishly looks down and so that's it that's how we arrive here yeah that's basically the story so if I no that's exactly that's exactly the story that's exactly the story yeah she takes that all in and goes okay so if I understand correctly you little Billy here and someone named Shathane went into that room and then you little Billy and Bing came out could you explain that well it's a uh the spirit world's kind of like a walk-in cooler like a first in first out kind of rule but what somebody has to stay behind is that how walking in the spirit world is like walking coolers work yeah you can't otherwise shit goes rotten you've never worked in a restaurant I own a restaurant well that's different than working inside one Bing is picking his fingernails and staring at the floor um she looks at the box she listens to that and she shakes her head and she looks at the box again and uh she says okay so it sounds like you've been through a lot and she's like what's going on but uh what I heard basically is I gave you a task and then a bunch of bullshit happened whoa and then for some reason you did not accomplish the seemingly very simple task that I gave you follow the cat all you had to do was let Wicker find the compass roses and she would take you right to where you needed to go okay so no problem we'll just take the box and head to the vault yes we'll just carry on from here now see there's there's my there's a point of concern for me is when I gave you this box and I I heard later on through messengers that the box had not arrived at the vault I thought maybe that you'd betrayed me when I gave you the box I thought they are far far too dumb to betray me you were right and then I thought maybe they were less dumb than I thought and they've betrayed me but now hearing this story I well and truly believe that you are just dumb we're not just dumb we're also incompetent fuck you lady so you can see how I would be a little concerned at allowing this box to be in your possession for any longer considering that it is now broken okay cracked it's cracked this should not crack at all can Ving high five tuck yeah Ving and tuck high five yeah cause he broke an unbreakable thing I would like to point out that when you gave us this quest we told you that we are not good at staying on track or finishing things why did you agree cause why not you know well it seemed like shit was wrapping up in mudlark and this was a reason to leave now by wrapping up what are you you mean the frog people yeah it was generally being overrun by a frog army you consider that wrapping up all of those lives it kind of is a natural point to leave a place ah when it needs you most yes understood we're not the people who gave us ourselves the orders to leave you're right that was technically you that was you're absolutely right that was a slip in my judgment and that was a slip in my judgment and that was a slip in my judgment and that was a slip in my judgment and that was a slip in my judgment and that was a slip in my judgment put yourself in our shoes if your friend was in danger and I point at Billy and I'm like would you not do anything to save him and make him better and if your friend and then I point at Caroline had died would you not do anything to bring him back from the dead Maggie her her eyes harden even just a little bit more and she says do you really think that I haven't lost in my life and that I have not tried to bring people back but this right here she lifts up the box this represents a threat to countless lives no it doesn't it he's super chill oh yeah let's get back to that what this box has a wizard in it had is it still in here yeah he's in there I think well he's somewhere yeah he was definitely hanging out with us in the spirit realm he does not leave us alone he is fucking insufferable and useless he tried to teach me a bunch of stuff I didn't understand any of it and he wasted all of my time who was this piece of shit it was Perel the fish fish man oh that was the wizard guy yeah was this was this connected to the monster at the pool in any way yes what happened to that monster that was when Tuck broke the box and then he kind of just like uh left the water monster just just like he left from the pool and he kind of just like went just like out everywhere uh Caroline and and Maggie share another look and Caroline says that would explain a lot of uh a lot of what's been going on what's been going on Jinx you owe me uh a honey mead fuck ah ah and then Vin starts doing the honey mead dance honey mead honey mead honey mead honey mead honey mead honey mead honey mead honey mead honey mead honey mead honey mead honey mead honey mead Maggie says well if you're actually interested things in Mudlark have been pretty bad these past few months uh the the bully wugs have gotten bolder and who's bolder what have they done to boulder kill him I like the idea that this is partially Vin's prolonged exposure to like the one name spirits.

So he's like, oh yeah, Boulder. Is Boulder okay? Yeah, they've become more aggressive but more organized and we wondered if maybe something had changed and that would explain it. And we've had a couple reports from cells around the principalities of people going missing. That sort of thing. And if there's some sort of magical entity involved, that could explain a lot of that. It left through the waterways? Yeah, it went through every tributary that fed the magic pool.

It seemed like it kind of flowed out through all of them. But the wizard in the box, Perel, he said that that was kind of all the negative parts of him. And he's okay. Oh, there are non-negative parts of a wizard now? Oh yeah, he gave us a ride on his back a bunch. Didn't he turn into a party island for a while? He turned into a party island. He helped save Ving. He saved us from that goldfish or whatever. The koi? The koi. He kind of subsumed the koi. But in a good way. Yeah, koi was weird.

Shathane was pretty anti-wizard too, but Perel was saying that there's another side to this story. And that he was trying to help. A wizard would say that, wouldn't he? That's exactly what Shathane said. I think Shathane and I would have got along. Well, what now? We're taking this. And she lifts up the box. Oh, wait. What are you going to do with it? We're going to put it somewhere where it can't harm anyone. It doesn't do anything to anybody. I believe that it already killed your friend once.

No, it's fine. He's fine. Look at him. I am… I am still seriously considering killing you. Well, that's… Why? That's unreasonable. I am but a small boy. An orphan. Orphaned in the woods. What would you gain by killing me? A small boy? Are you a child murderer now, Maggie? So you're some sort of child murderer now, Maggie? I want to believe you, but this could all be a ploy. You could be working to use these things against the people of the principalities. The people of this world.

And Mears, actually jumps in at this point. He goes, Maggie, if I could just say something. And she nods. He goes, I've worked with these folks in a sense a little bit more than you have. And they've really put their necks out there just to help people. When they were investigating your identity as Muckraker, it was all in an attempt, I think, in some foolhardy way to help the people of Mudlark.

And, uh, I don't know, I think, I think that if you could see it in your heart, that they're really just trying to help. And I doubt there's any malice behind any of the things that they've done. Mears. Mears. Mears. Mears. Mears. He closes his eyes. Mears. Mears. He puts up a hand. It's really nice to see you guys again. Nice to see you too, Mears. Yeah, man. I was worried about you. For good reason. You lost a hand. Yeah, I did. A frog ate it. And Maggie's like, enough. A frog didn't eat it.

You tripped and landed on a frog. What? Mears. Yeah, but, but the frog, but then the frog ate it. I suppose that is technically true. And she looks at Mears and she looks at the needle on his cloak. And just, you see, you see the thought process going through her head like, well, if we're keeping this dipshit around, what do you think you can offer? What do you, how do you think you can help? Okay. Billy gets up the courage and he says, well, we're still technically menders.

And Maggie puts up her hand and says, no, you are not. Yes, I am. And I pull out the pin from Tuck's hand. That was a method of identifying, yourself as, as an ally to the menders. As menders. And she pulls out the vial with the, with the pin that she pricked. Like you see the drops of blood at the bottom. And she says, this was nothing more than a method of tracking you. And crowning us as menders. Then I put it back in my hair.

And she says, there is a time honored and complicated induction ceremony. And we thank you. And Mears goes, it's true. It there's like, there's a song. Sing it. Oh, there's no words. No, sing it now. It kind of goes like, it kind of goes like, like, there's more, but I can't remember it. It's lame. It's more of a dirge. Yeah. What do you think you can offer me as an ally to the menders? You have my ass. And my bow. And you, wait, wait, can you take my bow? Hey, give me that bow. Yeah.

I take his bow. It's really heavy. And Ving says, and our cat. It's, that's technically my cat. But you, so Ving or Tuck, you take the ax out, the Larry, Terry and Chad, and they all kind of look at it. And then they look at the pile of weapons that they took from you. Like Billy, you see your, your short sword and your, and your dagger and all your throwing knives and poisons and stuff.

And, and, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, sees that and goes, they didn't have that when I was in there. And Caroline looks at the ax and goes, what is that? You mean, who is that? Spirit ax. Brought it back from the spirit world. Inside of it is the souls of our friends, Terry, Larry, and Chad. They're rocks. Oh, okay. And, and Cartwin, Ving's doodling on a piece of paper. Yeah, they're rocks. And, uh, they all listen to it. They all listen to it. They all listen to it.

They all listen to that description. And Caroline's just staring at it. And you hear her say very quietly, that's extremely cool. She's just like smitten with this ax. Cartwin gets up actually and starts like touching the ax a little bit, like kind of inspecting it. Like, so you, you've transferred this, the spiritual, the spirits of three stones in this ax. Yeah. That's incredible. First, we had to trick them into thinking they were three different stones for a while.

It's just, it's, it's honest. It's beautiful. And Maggie's like, okay, yes, it's a very nice ax. Now, can you please tell me what you're going to do for me to redeem yourselves? And I take the ax and I'm going to do some pretty wild ax moves right now. My attempt is going to be quite a lot of flips up, like under, like under my arm, catch it again, spin it around, do a couple of twirls. It's going to be like watching, that front guy in a parade. So what actually happens? Well, I don't know.

You do not have to roll. Defy danger. No, no, no, no. Charisma. Could Vink start whistling the Harlem Gold Trotters theme? See, no, no, no, no. Hold on. Now, do you understand the problems with rolling for superfluous stuff? No, no. You're opening yourself up to hard move failures. If you fail, a bad thing happens. And to fight in your charisma. Charisma? Three. You used to be so charming. In what world does axe spinning become a charismatic event? I want to aid. With the performance of it.

That was a really good effort, Tuck. It's heart. It's all heart. Axe spinning comes from in here. What are you pointing at? Okay. So, wow. Just great. Okay. So here's how I'm going to do this. Because you demanded to roll for something you did not need to roll for. Be reasonable. No. Yeah. There was a chance. But you had the chance for me to be reasonable. Please. I know, right? So, did you… So, wait. What's your charisma modifier? Three? Two? Two. Two. Okay. So, it's a five either way.

Spectacular. Nothing in this scene is going to happen. Nobody can aid? But behind the scenes, something has happened. Something, as you have stood around, flipping your axe like Tom Cruise in Cocktail. I didn't know it was going to be that cool. Something bad has happened in the world. I've seen bad things happen all the time. Sure. Directly. Tom Cruise feels bad? Yeah. Something bad has happened. Okay. Great. And I guess you mark a point of experience. Solid. Worth it. Is it?

Guys, as far as I know, there are no negative repercussions. Great. So, what happens, though, is that you start spinning it around and you're twirling it like a baton and you try and flip it behind your back and it goes straight out at a right angle. And just destroys an armoire. That's the thing that happens in the scene. And Cartman goes, hey, I am again so sorry about your apartment. She looks at the hole that you smashed through the wall and goes, whatever.

And Maggie watches all this happen and goes, I feel I am going to regret this very much. But if you want to help, we could use it. And she starts to tell you about a few of the rumors that they've heard through different mender cells of things going on in the principalities. And I'm going to ask y'all what those rumors are. So, Abdul, give me one of the rumors that the menders have heard. I thought of two. Shit. You're going to give me one. Give the one with the less penises in it.

I don't have any. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Can we get a clean read on that, Paul? Can we get a clean read on 69? Years. Years. Yeah, every irregular amount of time for the last 90 years since the Exodus, a broken moon has appeared in the sky. And in the last two weeks, the coronet has returned permanently. Oh, okay. Interesting. So now there is a broken moon in the sky all of the time. Great.

Yeah, no, that's awesome. What's your other one? The other one I was thinking of is… I said one. No, I want your answer. Okay, okay, okay. The other one I was thinking of is that you had entire battalions returning from the River Wars. Yeah, that's another thing that we've talked about. We talk about a lot of world-building stuff off mic for our own enjoyment. The River Wars we've described is a conflict that happened in the Riverlands Principality between two families.

And due to the weird time-space nature of the Exodus, the River Wars is reported as having gone on for a few weeks to a few years to a few decades. During the wars, people disappeared and came back and it had only been a few weeks, but they said they'd been away for 20 years. And they aged 20 years. They aged, yeah, and they've aged and people have come back younger. Like, it was just a really fucked up… There are people who remember dying multiple times. Yeah.

They fought the same battle over and over again for decades. And some people have said the River Wars have been over for almost 100 years. Mm-hmm. But other people have said it's only, you know, it's a very screwed-up area of the principalities. And since, like, the River Wars ended, like, 100 years ago, like, there's been nothing. Just the legend of the River Wars until now, until this, like, these battalions, like, just appeared.

And it was like, these guys returned home 100 years ago and they died 60 years ago. But, like, another version of the… Another version of them came back. Yeah, pretty cool. Paul? I was going to say that since Crocodile died in the pool and that was the spirit form of Crocodile, so all of the crocodiles and crocodile-like animals in the world have been disappearing and dying.

And it's throwing the whole food chain, the whole ecosystem, the delicate balance that exists in the world is being thrown out of whack. Slug. Slowly, in different pockets, obviously, in the more crocodile-dense environments and ecosystems, they're heavily affected. But slowly, the food chain's breaking down and the animal kingdom is severely affected and it's starting to affect the human world, too. So there's been a removal of the crocodile species.

Yeah, and that's a cool thing that will just continue to affect the world, too. Like, that's not even necessarily, like, the crocodile adventure. It's like nature is fucked. No, nature is fucked. You guys went into the spirit world, you created a species, you've destroyed a couple other ones, and everything is fucked now. I'd do it all again for you. Aw, that's sweet. Crocodile tears. Jessica? The Wittershins is flooding. Oh, so there's just, there's like a flooding in the Everwood Valley? Yeah.

Whoa. Wait, so like both sides of, is it the whole thing is flooding? Yeah. Both the rivers. Both the rivers are flooding. Whoa. And that's never happened before. Cool, yeah. Okay, no, that's actually perfect because that's like, like, specific big events that are like, we need to investigate these and then like other world things that can be investigated but will also just have greater ramifications.

Because I was thinking like, oh, we're going to have to choose one but those all work sort of in conjunction with one another. Okay, so Maggie lists off all these rumors that the Menders have heard. Okay. So what do you think? What do you think the three of you would want to investigate? Investigate? Like, is she dispatching us to investigate something? Seems that way. I feel like we have a connection with Peral.

Like, if it's the evil spirits out there causing shit, he might be responsible for this because he's in the water and he could be responsible for these floods. That's true. Yeah, and if we… We might have a connection with him. Yeah. We could talk to him. I feel like we should stick on this box and help get it back to the vault because… If we, like, abandon Peral… Like, I guess I kind of feel some loyalty to him for helping us. So we can't really just, like, leave him. Yeah, that's fair.

So the plan currently is try and see the box through to the end and then maybe head to the Halfling Lands and check out the water? Yeah, and try and figure out what's Peral's actual endgame because, like, I mean, he was pretty cool with us in the spirit world but he could always… He could still be, like, trying to fuck us over. Yeah. Possibly if he took Crocodile out of this world he might be able to bring him back. I don't know. Oh, man, I like you guys so much.

You've really given me some cool shit to think about. Okay, so the consensus now is that you're going to offer to see the box through to the vault and then go investigate the flooding of the Wittershins and the Sunwise. That's sort of the plan right now? And make sure the ecosystem of the planet doesn't crumble? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think that that makes sense. Cool. And everybody agrees with that? Yes. Yes. Okay, cool. Okay. So you tell Maggie that and she thinks all that through.

She's sort of nodding to herself. She says, I may come to regret this and while you didn't complete the very simple task that I laid out for you… Yet. Yet. Sure. You have very clearly overcome some incredible hardships in the time between then and now and your effectiveness… Your effectiveness can unfortunately not be denied.

And considering the unbelievable damage that you seem to cause everywhere you go, I feel like I would rather have you on my side with some friendly eyes on you than in the wind doing whatever in the diamond hills you choose to do. So I'm going to trust you one more time. But if you fail me, I will not be so forgiving. Wait, are you coming with us or are you sending us a load? No, no, no, no.

I'm not coming with you, but I feel like this is a great opportunity to lay some responsibility on a new recruit. And she puts a hand on Mears' arm and Mears looks at her. His eyes go wide and he looks at you and he goes, Okay. Thumbs up, Mears. Mears. Mears. Come on, Maggie. Mears. Mears. Mears. You too, Caroline. Mears. Mears. Mears. You're out there in the hallway. Mears. Mears. And I lift Mears up on my shoulder. Mears. Mears. Mears. Mears. Mears. Mears. Mears. Mears. Mears. Mears. Mears.

Mears. Mears. Mears. And that's where we're going to leave it for this week. My name is Sean O'Hara, and I've been your Game Master. With me, as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdulaziz. So long. And playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, friends. And playing Ving, one name only, the Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. I love ribs. Thanks to… Oh, that took me a second. That took a second for that to land. So good. And thanks to Wes Lord, our technical producer.

Thanks to Gavin Vickery for offering very kindly offering… For very kindly offering… For very kindly offering… This 100% wood ping pong table in his beautiful co-work space and also office in beautiful Nanaimo, British Columbia for us to record in. Thanks to Aaron Reid of Vancouver Sunday Service for our intro and outro music. Thanks to you for listening. And at this point, I'm going to say, you know what? If you like the show, tell a friend.

Because we don't advertise in any ways that we absolutely should be doing at this point. So tell your friends. And if you find it in your heart… Please give us a review on iTunes. Five stars or more. Whatever you feel comfortable with as long as it is at least five stars. And I'm sure you listen to other podcasts and you've heard this a billion times. But very genuinely, reviews are super important to get shows out there and let people know that they might be interested in them.

And we have social media accounts on Twitter. You can find us at Spout Lore. Facebook. Spout Lore. And through those various… Hey, friends. Look us up on the internet. Everywhere. Spout Lore. That's true. That's great. Fuck it. I don't need anything else. Thank you so much for listening. See you next time, baby. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3. Who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time… Time's abreast in revelry.

And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I am a new-born. I am a new-born. I am a new-born. I am a new-born. I am a new-born. I'm gladly spelled Lore. Oh, yeah. Check out Input Cowork in Nanaimo, British Columbia. Beautiful co-work space with a loft. It's sick. I'd live there. I would live there. It's nicer than a lot of apartments I've lived in.

That's absolutely true. I've never been in a nicer space. And I never will be again.

Welcome back to Spout Lore, everybody. My name is Sean O'Hara. I am your game master. And with me, as always, Abdulaziz. Hi, I'm playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian. And my alignment is chaotic. I eschew a convention of the civilized world. And Jessica Tai. Hi, everyone. I just ate a bunch of licorice. And I play Fat Billy. And I am chaotic. I leap into danger without a plan. Paul Oppers. Hi, I'm Ving Vang Zumba. And I am good. And I help something or someone grow. And Mark Robertson.

I'm playing Shathame Wick, a slightly grumpy elf ranger. And I am chaotic alignment. Seek to free someone from literal or figurative bonds right now. Wonderful. An overwhelmingly chaotic party. Overwhelmingly so. We all care about the rules of your game. I'm Sean. Whoa. Fuck you. I thought. Chaos. The rules were burning when we started turning. Chaos. I don't care about your rules, Sean. I don't care about the rules of this game. It's stupid. It's been burning. Chaos. Was that licorice?

I love when we start an episode with me getting bullied. Every episode starts with you getting bullied. It's true. And is the middle is me getting bullied? And the end is me getting bullied. Bullied. Bullied. Bullied. Bullied. Bullied. Yeah, I said roll your eyes, pussy. Gather round, friends. Let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name. You know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute. He knows not his home. He loves to sing. He knows how to sing and find. Thing is half-elf. He shifts his shape and wields a spear with great mind. Billy's a thief. His tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Ah. When last. We left our heroes.

They were within the Hive of Wasp, which they had thoroughly fucked up. It's on fire now. Fire crawls along the ceilings and walls and floor and has actually become an aspect of the spirit of fire. And so it was a fire before, and now it's an angry fire. And Shathane Wick has freed Ving Vang Zumba from his bonds. Hacking through the Hive of Wasp with the strength of a million. He's a man of arms. Wow. Hey, I'm getting back into it. Oh, yeah. You gotta stretch these fantasy muscles.

They are fantasy muscles. Yeah. Certainly in your situation. I ain't got real ones. All right. And that's where we are. Fire is encroaching, is consuming all around it. You hear bones snapping and popping in the heat. Popping and locking? Yeah. Crumping? Crumping. Crumping. Twerking. The worm is happening, too. This roof is literally on fire. And we don't need any water. It would be nice, actually, in this case. And yeah, that's the scenario of Ving. You wake up in the arms of a Wick.

You recognize Shathane. There's apparently some sort of history here, which we haven't talked about yet. No. But right now… There's no time. There's no time. There's no time. This place is on fire. Yeah. What do you all do? Can someone get Larry and Terry and Chad? It is pretty hot over there. Larry. I call out to them. Like, Larry, Terry, Chad, can you hear me? They're like, oh, yeah, it's not great. Oh, no. It's pretty bad. And they're sort of in a pile of flame, you know?

Like, it's just like a bonfire-ish area. And you think they're somewhere in there. Because they're in the center of where it all started. Who are they? Oh, they're like three… First off, hey, buddy. Ha ha! I don't know what to say. I'm so happy to see you. This is weird. Yeah, I know. What are you guys… Are you guys dead? No, we're here. Am I dead? No. Yes. No. I don't know. Is this piece of shit dead? Dead? No. Points to Shathain. All right. Reunion time's going to have to wait.

We've got to get out of here. Yes. The roof is coming down. I have an idea. Elementary Master. Oh, yeah. You have a lot. Elemental Mastery. Elemental Mastery, yeah. Okay, so what does that move do? When you call upon the primal spirits of fire or water or earth or air to perform a task, you roll plus wisdom. Can you call water to fight fire? Yeah, I can here. Yeah. I would imagine so. Or maybe make fire make a little… I was thinking of if fire made us a root. Root. Root.

Root out of here while controlling the wasps. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That'd be great. That's better. And we could use some of the heat channeled from fire. Channeled? Yeah, like an updraft to get us out of here with the blimp body. Oh, yeah. That would be great. I'm putting this together real fast. This is awesome. Okay, that's what I want to do. I want to try and master the fire to help us get a tunnel out of here over through the middle so that we could get your new friends. Yes.

Even though I am a little… I'm a little jealous that you made new friends. No, you're going to like these guys. Terry, Larry, and Chad. They're in a committed, completely sexual relationship with one another. Oh, God. Now they are. And they are… They're also in a rock band. Guys, I could use a little TLC right now. Okay, yeah. Honestly, they'll do whatever you want. They'll suck your dick. They do covers as well. They can do waterfalls if you want. Just roll the… Roll Elemental Master.

Which I believe is 2D. 6 plus wisdom? Yes, it is. 2 plus 2 is 4. Man, I got so much wasp cum in my mouth. Wait a minute. Elemental Master. Can I help with… It's a 4, man. It's a 4. It's a 4. Can we all help and then add one each? Why? You can only add one at a time. Can we invent a new game? Can Wes roll? What if we just delete that? No, absolutely not. You know what? I need the experience. Let's go. All right. Mark a point of experience for sure.

Few moves specify what happens on a miss, but this one does. It says on a miss, something catastrophic occurs as a result of your calling. Fuck. So what do we think happens? Well, I guess we all die. I guess… Everybody dies. Maybe he attracts the attention. He attracts the attention of fire. You know? Where it was like he had a small aspect of fire here. This is like… All of fire is like… Someone's trying to control me. And I do not like this. And because we're in the spirit…

And I'm corporeal in the spirit world. Yeah, that's true. I will experience a full body burn. I'm thinking. Okay, yeah. Yeah, that works. So you hold your hand out and attempt to command fire. What do you say to fire? To try and… Elements! I am your master! Master of the elements! They call me! Master! Fire! Become me! I tell thee! Wisdom! Strength! Fire! And we're all like, holy… Hell yes! This is gonna be great. I don't think this is gonna work. I don't think he knows what he's doing.

My hair is flowing. My gills are flaring. My clothes are on fire. My flaps are singeing. My hair… Shorter. There's a moment after you do that where there's almost total silence. The fire stops crackling. It stops burning just for a moment. And then… I wink at it. And then it just… Like the whole cavern, top to bottom, fills with fire. Ugh! Like there's still a little bit of area around you. Like you're not all incinerated or anything.

But you can see that this place is filling with fire like a bowl fills with water. Like it just… No space exists between the flame. We all are gasping for air. Yeah, this is happening. What do you guys do? Uh, is there a defend move that I can use? Uh, there is a defend, yes. Okay. I want to use my like floaty abilities to like go towards… To like… To like… To like… To like… To like… To like… To like… To like… To like… To like…

Towards Vang and like encapsulate him in this blimp that I am a part of. Sure, sure. Uh, when you just stand in defense of a person, item, or location under attack, roll plus constitution. Okay, yeah. I'll do that. Okay, yeah. Roll constitution. Nine. Okay. So you get plus one. I get one hold. Yeah, one hold. Which, what are the options again?

Redirect an attack from the thing you defend to yourself, have the attack's effect or damage, open up the attacker to an ally, giving that ally plus one forward against the attacker, against the attacker, or deal damage equal to your level. So basically, like, Vang is… Although fire is being indiscriminate in this burning, like, the goal of fire is to punish the person that thought to control it. So yeah, I'll take the… I'll take the hit. Okay, yeah. So you see this like pillar of flame rut.

It's moving like a wave, like from the back. It's filling the room, and it's pouring almost all towards Vang in this moment. Mm-hmm. So I… Yeah, I fly at him and I get in front of him. Okay, so you're gonna take… You're gonna take damage. Yeah. Yeah. And Vang's like, no, no, no, no, it's working. I got it. What'd you do to your face? Who the… No, I'm commanding it. See, look. Who's B… B… Blawison. Why do you look like a baby? Oh my God, you have a round head. Like a bowling ball. Yeah.

Like three bowling balls. Wait, you got… You guys got tattoos without me? This is bullshit. We did get tattoos. All right. I'm gonna hide mine. Why don't you like yours? What? No, I love them, but I'm just like, what tattoos? It's like your dad found out you got a tattoo. Yeah. And you didn't invite him? You motherfucker. Yeah. That's a lot of damage. Oh, shit. Sean, be chill. No. Be cool. Gotta respect the narrative. It said catastrophic. Yeah, this is like bad. Whoa.

Like Tuck is basically soaking this whole thing for all of you. Okay. Okay. Cool. So you're gonna roll a D10. Okay. That one. Yeah. So the zero is a 10. Okay. 10. Oh. Fuck. Maybe I should nay have said anything. Does the butter moth silk give me anything? Oh, it's flame retardant. Yeah. That's why I did it. Yeah. It's not gonna soak all of it, because it's meant to be like, oh, if you fall in a campfire, or if you have to run through like a brush fire. Yeah.

But this is the physical, or the spiritual manifestation of all flame. Falling into a campfire happens more often than you think. Yeah. What about that? Can it soak up the 10? Roll the damage again. Like you're basically getting, like fire is getting two shots to try and burn you. Two. Fuck. Okay. Okay. So it's two plus five. So it's seven? Seven instead of 15.

So in doing this, you basically had to yank, all of the butter moth silk, like off of, cause like you'd, you'd kind of folded it out into this tent configuration. So you had to yank all of that away and you see fire pouring towards Ving in this moment. And what does Tuck do? Does he just like get in front of Ving? Yeah. I take the butter moth silk and I drape it across my back and I move in front of Ving. So I'm like facing him, I guess like just protecting him from the fire. Yeah.

So you throw your arms out and, the wave of flame crashes against you like a rock on the shore and it just blows out on either side, like all around you. Cool. And you're just like holding this back. And I just, I am like face to face with Ving and I'm like, Hey, you look like you lost some weight in the spirit world. You are no longer in your bulk phase. You look amazing. Yeah. I toned up. You feel like you feel yourself start to burn.

And you feel even the butter moth silk, like, start to catch like it's, it's holding up, but not for long. Like you have a couple seconds to figure out what's going on. What do you do? Am I able to use like any magic? Do I have any skills? Perel is there and he's like holding onto you cause he's very committed to you. And, um, can I talk to him? Yeah. Cause you've, you've used magic before in times of like extreme stress and they don't always come out the way you want them to.

So I think if you wanted to try, and use one again, cause you're still untrained, like you're, you're still trying to figure this out. I think it's going to cost you something like something serious. Like it's not just going to be like, okay, I'm going to try it again. Cause you're basically like forcing this through you. Yeah. I'll try it. Cause like we have no other choice really to get out of here. Okay. What are you saying to Perel?

Hey man, um, you've been pretty useless, uh, just in here today. He says, okay, well, well, okay. So I'm assuming there's more. There is. Um, I'm going to need your help. Like we got to get out of here. So I got to cast a spell or something. We need fire off our back. Can you help me? Tuck yells, literally. He's not, he's not that smart. Um, Ving yells, literally. In his Tuck impression. Perel looks contemplative.

Cause he's like, I'm not a hundred percent sure how magic works in the spirit world, but we might be able to work something out. Do you have your crystal? Yeah, I do. Whip it out, hold it up. Glitters. You have more of these, right? Do I? Yeah. You each have one, right? Okay. Yeah. You need all of them. Oh, boys hand them over. I, yeah. So I tossed the crystal kind of like behind me to Billy. Yeah. Billy. You can do it. Oh, in my mouth. Wow. So one in each hand, one in the mouth. Yeah. Yeah.

You have all these crystals and he's like, focus everything that you have through these crystals. All right. Okay. And so what's Billy trying to do is trying to make like a shield or something. He's going to try to make a shield that it's like an orb that moves around them. Oh, okay. Cool. Yeah. So roll two D six plus charisma. I'm going to do on the floor. I feel like this table is cursed. Eight, eight. Okay. Um, uh, so on a seven to nine, the spell is cast, but you choose one.

You draw unwelcome attention or put yourself in a spot. The spell disturbs the fabric of reality. As it is cast, take minus on a minus one, which you've already done. Uh, after it is cast, the spell is forgotten. You cannot cast the spell again until you prepare spells. And as we've been doing with this, like untrained Billy, if you screw this up, you won't be able to cast shield magic maybe ever again. Cause you're like, you know, you don't know how to do this. Okay.

Um, I'll just draw unwelcome attention. Okay. Okay. So what is Billy's shield look like? It is. It's like a, a millennial pink, uh, orb. Uh, it is shiny, like a little bubble. What's the millennial? Okay. It's like that light pink color, like kind of like airy, like, you know, Instagram haze. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's always ombre. Yeah. Like a LaCroix bottle. Gassy. Is it gassy? Uh, from my farts. Yes. So we said all the farts smells from you. Yeah. Sorry. I'm stuck inside the bubble. Yeah.

I knew the flame. I knew the flames. At least we don't have to smell a lot of burning hair. Yeah. So Tuck, you've got your, your butter moth silk up and you're holding it as this fire pours around you. As you're holding it, you're looking at Billy, you see him behind Ving and he's cut. He's with Perel and Perel's like whispering in his ear and you see he's holding all these crystals and he's really focusing.

And then this pink shining orb, this dome starts rising up from the ground and is sealing out all the fire. Mm-hmm. And it's a few moments and it, it fully closes over you and you're safe. You feel the, you don't feel the heat from the flames anymore. Oh man, I, my back hair is gone. It's not good. And also my pants are gone. Okay. So Tuck is nude now. Totally nude. Hairless and hair. There's a weird, there's a weird sliver of back hair that's still there. Right above, right. Like a backstab.

Yeah. Right above my butt crack. Yeah. It's like just, yeah, like a, like that part of your back is censored. Oh God. It's so weird. And, and Perel is still with Billy and he says, this is taking everything Billy has to hold this defense. And you can feel the unwanted, the unwanted attention or the unwelcome attention is fire is like pressing against the shield. Like it's not leaving. It can't get you, but it's going to follow you as much as it can until you figure out something else.

And Billy, you are like 100% committed. You're like clenching down. You're holding all the crystals. It's where all the farts came from. Yeah. Yeah. Squeezing the farts. Yeah. So that's the situation is Perel is like, if Billy stops concentrating for even a moment, the spell could fail. We are fucked. Billy, you're already kind of thinking about like croissants. Well, that's where my, that's, I got to go to like my, my meditation zone and that's a croissant.

So your meditation zone is thinking about a croissant. What's happening? Inside of Billy's head is he's like running through a croissant field. Yeah. What is Billy's like peaceful? Okay. So it's a croissant and it's like moon shape and it, he imagines it sort of like orbiting. And then Billy is like that little, he's in the little gap area of the croissant as it spins around. Yeah. And, and he's just like in at peace, like floating through space, just one with the bread breathing it in. Yeah.

Oh, it's so fresh. That's great. The butter aromas, the, the steam. So soft. Beautiful. Ving's just like, just picture it. Stay with your croissant, Billy. Stay with your croissant, buddy. You all know about his croissant place. It's because Ving has, has taught Billy to like clear his mind and how to meditate and stuff. And he knows. See the moon up there? Yeah. That's like a big croissant, bud. Yeah. That's great. So yeah, that's the situation. What do you do?

I'm not sure exactly how it'll work, but hunt and track. I wonder if like, where the, where the wasps, where the wasps go. Like I imagine that the wasps. They just went out through tunnels. So, and we need to know what the way out. We don't really know the way out. Yeah. So I think hunt and track, I could track where they went. And then if that at least give us a path. The smoke is going where the smoke is going. Yeah. You do know that there is, there's holes in the ceiling.

You know that for sure. Cause there's light coming in. But yeah, so, but there are openings all over the place on ground level and higher. So I think I want to try hunt and track and see what the quickest, most efficient way out of here would be if we decide how we can possibly move. Yeah. So you're kind of tracking the largest contingent of wasps or something like that. Yeah. Okay. For a good way out. Great. So eight. So with a seven to eight on hunt and track, what does that say?

On a seven plus you follow the creature's trail until there's a significant change in its direction or mode of travel. Okay. Yeah, that's great. So yeah, I mean their mode of travel is flying, so you'd be able to, until they have to like squish down and like wiggle. Yeah. If they start going through the walls or something like that, you wouldn't be able to follow them, but you'll be able to follow them. Down a tunnel potentially. So how does shit thing track a swarm of spirit wasps?

His perception kind of changes. He starts to relate a little bit more closely to this. In this case, it's an animal form that he's familiar with from the natural world, but he starts to see reality as those animals do for a very short time in order to track them. So he sees the sort of nonphysical, like they could be pheromones. They could be like, you know, like gravitation, like the traditional chemtrails. Yeah. Things that exactly trails of chemicals that those animals can see. Yeah.

And he suddenly sees those for a short time and they sort of, his perception changes. He sees it and then it goes back to his and he kind of sees a little map, like a little glowing trail that he can see the way to go. So it says right here in this piece of paper, this paragraph down at the bottom. Uh, great. So you see that happen in your brain and you see this sort of pattern.

Half a flight of the largest group of wasps because they, they scattered basically, they didn't all go in the same direction, but you follow what looks like the strongest direction of that. And it is through fire. Like it's right through, but, the spell that Billy cast, he specifically said that he wanted to be able to move the shield. So Billy himself might not be able to move, but if you were to move Billy, the shield would come with him. Yeah. Let's grab him. Okay. Yeah.

And on the way through, you grab your rock buds. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do that. Cool. So yeah, now Billy's now, a little portable shield generator. Cool. Yeah. So I'm still floating. So everybody get on my back and I'm going to fly us out of here. Superman. Okay. I think if shit, Thane wants to track, he's going to need to be on ground level. Okay. Everybody, but shit. They, so that means Billy Perel Ving on my back and Gary, the sapling, which he's got in my backpack. Okay.

Um, and it's pretty, it's not that bad. Like, it's not as precise as it had to be because Billy is keeping the flames at bay with his little shield magic, which you can see little beads of sweat on Billy's forehead. Like this is taking a lot out of him. Poor little guy. Like if he wants to keep using, like, uh, Perel is very concerned. You can see on his fish face that he's very worried about Billy. And he's just saying like, he can't keep doing this.

Like if he's going to continue to use magic, I have to train him. It will kill him. Fine. Fine. We'll D can we deal with that? Once we're going to kill everybody. Yeah. I was talking to myself. I would allow you idiot. Well, you made eye contact with me and you said it. So understand that that's confusing. Oh yeah. Okay. So maybe don't take that judgmental. I'm sorry. It's a stressful situation. He's, he's, it's, he's the guy. He's the guy who killed you. It is. He puts it.

I know he puts his flippers up and he's like, it's more complicated than that. It's more, much more complicated than that. Let's, let's talk about this in a little bit. My hair's on fire. I'm going to die. I'm going to die here with the man who killed me. Let's go. Okay. Uh, so you start moving through the cavern and Billy's shield is keeping the flames at bay and Chathain, you're following this weird trail of bees.

And I'm like, Gary, Larry, Chad, which ones, which one of these, which you can hear me like, we're over here. Okay. I pick them up. They're very hot. They're so hot. Like, um, and this was actually the thing that I was thinking and maybe you don't like it, but I was thinking when they were up and they were, they were grinding and getting all warm and like glowy. I was thinking maybe they got kind of magma. And now they're like a chunk. They're going to be trapped together.

If you look at them from the top, they're like three rocks kind of stuck together in a triangle with faces out pointing out on each side. So they can't see each other. They're like Siamese triplets and they all want to do their own thing kind of, but they all kind of have to just get along as the collective that they used to be. And there's like crystals growing out. And any, any weird, like little spiritual or that was in them too, has like melted.

So they're kind of like metallic a little bit too. They've become this weird, like they don't look like stone, pure stone anymore. They've got like, while they were all three, the same kind of stone. Now they're almost three separate kinds of stone. Oh yeah. Like that. So one is like sort of this got this copper sheen or Larry is now like kind of metallic. You can see, uh, pieces of purple, crystal coming out of Terry. Ooh. Amethyst. Chad is like deep, dark, shiny gray stone. Ooh. Yeah. Cool.

And she, and Chad. Yeah. Chad, Chad's the shiny one. Oh, sorry. Just the shiny one. I just met these people. I said, Chad, right? Yeah. Did I say Chad? I thought this is going to be a spinoff podcast, right? Just these three rocks. Yeah. Yeah. So they're kind of like combined into this chunk, but who knows what I pick them up. They're hot. I pick them up. All right. Uh, roll a D four. You're willingly burning yourself. Okay. It's whatever's on the bottom. Two. Okay. So you get one. Great.

So now you've got Larry, Terry, and Chad, the triumvirate have returned. And, um, Shathane is following this path of wasps through the flame and it's just fire top to bottom outside the shield. It's pretty scary. Um, uh, I'm singing to Billy to keep him like calm. Yeah. Yeah. What are you singing to him? Nursery rhyme. Yeah. What does it sound like? Uh, it's like, uh, it's a nursery rhyme that tuck knows from his childhood.

And it's like, uh, uh, Hey, Hey, Hey, the moon is all around and she loves it. When you go down to sleep every night, that's when you go to sleep. Sleep is the time that you get to, uh, I changed it a little bit. Okay. Yeah. That's beautiful. Yeah. It's very, very beautiful. Uh, Billy's just going down on this croissant. That's mine. Eat the moon. Famous child nursery rhyme. Oh man. Not sexual at all. It's okay. Not in my mind. Yeah. It's beautiful.

Um, and yeah, Shathane is leading you through the cavern, following the path of this swarm of wasps. And you get to a, um, section of that. Like they went just for like the closest tunnel that was lowest to the ground. So you come back to this like opening that you find it's kind of low. So it might be a little tight for all of you, but you'll be able to keep within Billy's shield. And that's not the hard part.

Like, like getting through the cavern with the shield that Billy is very forcefully keeping up. And basically all of the stuff that you're all capable of sort of intersecting. Um, uh, you make it through the cavern unscathed, uh, after all the scathing that already happened. And you're sort of in this tunnel. This section of the tunnel is more rock than it is hive. So it looks like it was chewed out by wasp at some point. Cause there are like these little furrow marks.

Cause remember the wasp spirits are pretty big. Like they're not wasp size, but they're not huge. So there's all these like teeth marks basically leading down this tunnel. Uh, but fire can't burn around you. So it's only on one side. Uh, we're still underground. Yes. I have an idea.

Uh, so you asked us to plant Gary somewhere where there are no trees and I'm not sure how fast he will grow, but I think like if Ving is able to call on water and we plant him here, it might like grow like fast enough that we can get out of here. Like you'll break the, he'll break through the whole hive before he burns. Yeah. I mean, it's yeah, it's like a, it's a gamble. It's worth a shot. Yeah. That's not the worst idea I've ever heard. What's the worst idea? Yeah. Uh, it was Brexit.

All right. We're here's what we're going to do. We're going to secede from the European Union. Here's my plan to get out of here. I'm having weird deja vu. You know how we could use some help. Well, let's cut off all that help. So the plan is, is we, is we take the spirit of water that has been very helpful or could be very helpful to us. And we tell them to fuck off because we want new passports. Yeah. Uh, great. So I mean, yeah, let's, is this, is everyone okay with this?

It's, I mean, it, you should ask Gary, Gary. It's here's what I'm thinking, man. I'm talking to the tree. Gary shaking. Yeah. Cause Gary's like the, uh, you sapling, right? So it's like, it's really scared. It's really scared. Yeah. Look, man, we're just going to leave you here. No, no, no, no, no, no, we're not leaving you until we know you're okay.

But your parent said that you deserve to be someone somewhere where there are no trees and there is not a single tree past the dust bowl, past the planes. This is your place, man. So if you are able to grow as fast as you can, then we can get out of here and you have your own territory. Yeah, that's, you're going to have to roll for this. Um, yeah, it'll be a parlay and the leverage is your own forest. Yeah.

So we're going to plant him in one of the, we're going to, we're going to plant you in one of the beams of light. Ving is going to get you as much water as you need and certainly can try. Yeah. And, and, and we're going to make it happen. So you're, you're going to have an entire forest here. Like right away. Yeah. Keep, keep in mind that there's no beam of light with you right now. You'd have to find one. Can we keep moving? I have a light spell. Didn't I have a light spell?

I think it has a light spell. So she'll get you light. Ving will get you water. We'll get you water. Yeah. Roll a parlay. Whoa. Nice. Holy shit. 12. Okay. Yeah. This tree doesn't know what hit him. So what does Gary do? Gary stops shaking for a second. And we start chanting. Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary. Ving's going at this. Yeah. Yeah. And you're like talking to, yeah. And you can hear Gary.

Cause Gary doesn't have like a very powerful voice, but Ving can hear Gary go like, I'm going to do it guys. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. This is not his voice the whole time. That's a very powerful voice. Yeah. But it's, it sounds like, shh, cause he shakes his leaves. He's into it. Nice. All right. So Billy, you're holding on. Yeah. I'm still with my croissant. Billy's meditating with the croissant. And all right.

There's a lot of things that need to happen for this to work. Fuck. Somebody needs to disturb the ground. Can you, can you, can you, can you, can you, can you, can you, can you, can you, can you, can you, can you, can you, can you, can you, can you give a hack slash on the ground? No, you don't need to roll the dig a hole. What? That's my motto. Merch. That's a t-shirt right there. Well, at least a vanity plate. Yeah. Right. All right. So yeah, tuck chops up some of the dirt and stuff.

So Gary, Billy, you just pulled Gary off of Billy's back. Yeah. I'm holding him. I'm pretty, uh, by confidence, it's pretty low at this point. Uh, so yeah, are we going to try the elemental mastery? I'm going to try and master some water. All right. Out of the, the moisture in the, in the caves. Cause we're deep. Yeah, totally. Come on, come on. So good. So good. Think wet thoughts, everybody. Oh, eight plus my intelligence and my wisdom is 10. Unmitigated success.

Drip, drip, drip, little April showers. So a little cloud elemental mastery on a 10 plus you choose to from this list. The effect you desire comes to pass. You avoid paying nature's price or you retain control. Now you only get two of them. You either, which means that if you, you either, you know, I assume the effect you desire, you want that to pass. Yes, very much so. Uh, so that means that you either will pay nature's price or lose control. I'll lose control.

That would be, that could be really cool. Cause it could be a thing where it's like, we're like waiting and then you feel the whole hive start to shake. Yeah. Why, why are we rafting? You get fired out of some tubes, six miles away, watered out of some tube. Oh, uh, okay. So we'll try the light first. Cause fuck you. Thanks for having me. So what kind of happens depends on whether or not Gary gets his light. So let's see what happens with this. Okay.

Item we touch goes with divine light and, um, you have complete control over the color. Okay. So I did this before with the rocks and it worked really well. So I think that they would probably be good. Uh, good option. The rock triad. Yeah. Cinco and three is eight. Oh, yes. Okay. So on a seven to nine, the spell is cast, but choose one. You draw on welcome attention or put yourself in a spot.

I tell you how the casting distances you from your deity, AKA the spirits take a negative one ongoing to the cast a spell. After you cast it, the spell is revoked. You cannot cast the spell again until it has, it is granted to you. So it's the same thing. Like you'd need to meditate to cast light again, or you're going to have trouble casting spells until you. Yeah. I think I'll take option three there. You're going to not be able to cast light anymore. Yeah. Okay. So what does this look like?

Um, I'm going to use the rocks. They're now fused together into one, um, into one little unit. And they also have this strange crystal sort of crown is growing out of the middle of them. So they're all different colors. Now, instead of it coming, the rocks themselves growing and glowing, it's coming off of these crystals in the middle. So, um, and they, it's like a weird kind of grayish blue, all the colors of the other rocks going together.

And it's making like a little sort of sort of tornado thing that, uh, gets bigger and bigger and bigger and wider and sort of flattens out. And it's creating like a big, like a big lens effect and glowing and it's creating casting off a very bright, very natural, uh, sort of outdoor summary kind of light. Yeah, that's great. That's exactly what Gary wants. Uh, and so you watch the little sapling and it's roots start to move in the earth and it just latches.

And then the light starts pouring on top of it. It moves. Gary moves his leaves to soak up as much of the light as possible and starts to shake. So the option that you chose Ving was that you do not retain control of the spirit of water. So like you described, the water starts to well up around you and there's water being manifested in the atmosphere as well. So there's like beads of water joining and then dropping. Yeah. So it's kind of dropping.

It's draining out of the middle of the air, like inside the Tacoma dome when they had that issue because the, uh, the clouds are forming inside. Was that happening? It was happening. That's so cool. That's sick. That's sick. My name is, my namesake is the best thing about Tacoma. Fuck you, Tacoma. I'm talking about the municipality. Just to be clear, not the car. The car's pretty good. The truck is good. Fuck Tacoma. I mean, it might've been another dome. I could be.

I think it's a sky dome actually. We might want to Google that. Fuck you, Toronto too. I think we have a fan who lives in Tacoma. No, I don't think, I don't think Hunter lives in Tacoma. I think he just knew about the, I think, he came from Tacoma or comes from Tacoma. Oh, really? Um, Hunter, you're cool. Fuck Tacoma. I'm so sorry. There's no reason for me to say this. All right. So here's what, so here's what happens. The water is manifesting in the air, dropping down on the soil.

Gary's soaking it up. It disappears almost as quickly as it hits the earth. And you're thinking, I don't know if this is going to be enough water. It's kind of welling up from the earth in spots too. And then you feel the earth, earth start to shake. And I, before, right before that happens, I, I like turned to Vang. I'm like, fucking put some elbow, elbow grease into it, man. Elvin grease. Put some fucking Elvin grease into this man. So the earth starts to shake.

You feel a rumbling through the ground guys. Wham. On both sides of the shield on both sides of the tunnel is just a wall of water. And it starts to creep through the shield. You can see it. Like it's pressing with such force that it's forcing itself through the magic of the shield. And it's the, the shield is still holding mostly, but it's starting to sieve through. Okay. And the water starts pouring down the bowl of the shield. Well, no, I guess it's like a dome shape, right?

But it's pouring along the earth and it's getting sucked up into the dirt as Gary is like, and you can see the wood in Gary's trunk start to grow and shift. And it happens very quickly. You're looking at a sapling and then you're looking at like, a 20 year old tree. And then you're all moving. The earth around you is being shoved out of the way. The water's pouring in Billy.

You start moving so much that like you're almost jolted out of your meditation, but there's no fire, but just everybody is moving and it's chaos. There's dirt and rock being thrown everywhere. There's water pouring out of the ground. The roots are moving and changing. And, uh, within a few moments, there's just air and light. And you come shooting out of the top of this hive rock. Yeah. And Billy, your shield totally falls and you, your eyes shoot open and you're basically in the bowels.

You're in the bowels of a huge tree. And you're all being pushed up into the air and you're just in the arms of this enormous and ancient looking tree. Billy, you've been asleep for a million years. Holy shit. What do I look like? Now? I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry. Uh, but you're all holding on. Um, well, you're all in the tree. You can feel Gary moving to like hold you as you move up. You're being cradle. You're doing it, Gary. You're doing it. And we start chanting again.

Gary, Gary, Gary. Wait, is he an oak tree? He's an oak tree? He's a yew tree. He's a yew tree. But this might be the first Gary oak ever. Yeah. Yeah. You can feel his, his, his, his, his sense of individuality. We imbued in him, get made him a different tree. His bark is hardening and, and roughing up in spots. Like he's not the smooth, like uniform looking bark of a yew tree. Yeah. He's getting hard and hardy and twisty and timber. Yeah.

And his leaves are changing as he sucks up this water and light. And you can see fire is so far away now. Like you came out so far from the entrance of the hive so much further than you expected to. Um, and the spirit world is arrayed around you. Wow. It's beautiful. Is it, is he still growing or? He's done growing, but the forest continues to grow. You can see trees sprouting out of the ground around him.

As just, as you're watching this oak forest is spreading out and the dust bowl is almost entirely engulfed. At least the section around you, you know, the dust bowl goes for quite a distance, but you can see it transforming. Cool. Can we just watch? Yeah. As you all, as you all sit. Yeah. Roll the watch. Do we have to roll the watch? No, I can't watch. You fail. Your eyes burst out of your head. This is, this is kind of a nice moment. Should we stay and watch this happen? Yeah.

I think I need to have a little rest if that's okay. Are you okay, Billy? I'm okay. I'm just, these leaves are soft. It's so good to see you guys. It's so good to see you. It is good to see you. Can I cuddle you, Bing? Please. It's been a while. Please. Yeah. And, uh, the, the oak forest, uh, spreads and grows around you. It moves. These new trees grow up to the horizon and you all just sit and enjoy it.

Uh, and Billy, as you're all enjoying this, you see Perel come up and he's not getting in this like hug cause he knows his place, but he does gently reach over and take one of the crystals from you. And he looks at it with concern on his face and you look at your crystals for the first time and you notice they've started to crumble. And that is where we are going to leave you for this episode. This has been Spout Lore. My name is Sean O'Hara.

I've been your game master with me as always have been players. Abdul Aziz. Wow. That was intense. Jessica tie. Yeah, that was a lot. Paul offers. I'm going for a nap. Mark Robertson. Yeah, that worked good. Thanks to our technical producer, West Lord. And thanks to Abdul for all the editing work. Thanks to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. Thanks to Mark and MP for letting us record in their home. And thank you to you. For listening. See you next time, everybody. Bye. Bye.

And so ends the tale of adventures. Three who tried the best they can. Dumb and scared and lost. Maybe for times of rest in. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I gladly spell. Oh, Sean, why do you have to make everything so sexy? Like, it's, that's sexy. Do you want it? It's all about you. You make it so sexual. It's crazy. NPR is sexy.

The way you flick your tongue. Yeah. And you got that little hip. I went up and down. It looks like you're grabbing your dick while you're doing the choir boy eyebrows. You keep doing up in the middle of the thrust. Okay. I'm starting to think y'all want to fuck me. I think what the issue is again. Yes. How many seasons? Why do you think I bought all this? I love you guys. Oh yeah.

Okay. Theme song? Or should we just crank into it? Let's do the theme song. Our practice round? I don't think we have time. Just save time. I have to leave at one. You have to leave at one? Oh my god. It's 1.45. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Okay. Gather round, friends. Let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name. You know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute. He knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief. His tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest, they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close for the tale's about to start. Good afternoon, and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara, and earlier today I bit my tongue, and it's really fucking me up. Welcome back, everybody. To you, it may sound like it's just been two weeks, but for us, it's been a number of months since we've played together. And with me today, as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. Playing Ving Vang Zumba, the elven, half-elven, druid, Paul Ops. Oh, hello. Welcome back, Paul.

Welcome back. And playing guest character, Shathane Wick, Mark Robertson. Hello. Everybody's back in town. Wes is here, too. Mark's kids, apparently, as well. And we are all just riding high on the energy. Is that blood on your chin? It is. You know it. That's Skittles juice. Skittles. Mark gave us Skittles. And we are continuing our game of Dungeon World. When last we left our heroes, they had been, in a sense, reunited in the spirit world within the Hive of Wass.

And we are going to be doing that in a couple of weeks. So, we are going to be doing that in a couple of weeks. So, we are going to be doing that in a couple of weeks. Ving Vang Zumba, who has been traveling through the spirit world after being trapped here a number of weeks ago in-game. Yeah. A couple of weeks. Who knows? Time is malleable in the spirit world.

Was trapped within the Hive of Wass and his friends Tuck and Billy traveled with curmudgeonly spirit expert Shathane and found their way to the Hive, finding Ving in a precarious position strapped to the Hive of Wass. You can say a sticky situation. A sticky situation. It's a Hive. Are Hives sticky? Yeah, most. Right? Yeah. Yeah. I would assume so. I've never been inside one. I'm learning a lot. We mentioned wasp honey. Yeah. Yeah. But is that a thing? I guess it is in the game.

They make stuff to, like, eat. Well, my cocoon is sticky. Oh, yeah. It's sticky in here. Okay. So, here's the scenario. Here's where we are. A cavern. Light streams in through a variety of holes in the ceiling. But shadows abound. There's rough, uneven sections of the cavern walls in all directions made by wasp's hive that kind of weaves in and out of the rock walls. Some of it's natural cavern. Some of it's hive. Some seems like it was almost chewed out by wasp.

Like, the stone is uneven in weird, unnatural ways. Billy, Tuck, and Shathane, you are sort of in this baked potato configuration where Shathane and Billy are hanging off of Tuck. And you're all wrapped in the camouflaged cloak. Perel, as a fishman, has made himself small and compact. Gary, the sapling, is there. And probably not jazzed about the scenario. But he's a little baby tree, so who knows? Ving, you are semi-conscious. You are sort of still coming in and out of consciousness.

But upon seeing Tuck and Billy's face at the end of last session, you're like, oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Do you think that's, like, woken you up a little bit, maybe? Yeah, I think I screamed friends. Okay, so if you scream, you screamed their name, I think. You screamed Tacoma, Billy, or something like that. And you're pretty well adhered to the wall. You're having trouble moving. And you scream their names. And the swarm around you gets immediately agitated.

They start buzzing around, frantically, angrily, confused. Can I just start singing a song? Like, Tuck! Tuck and Billy! You want to try and play cool. Yeah, just try and distract from the fact that you alerted. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Take it away, Stingy. You started naming the separate wasp entities. Okay, so that will be a defy danger charisma, I guess, to hide the fact that you just gave away your friends. Eight. Eight altogether? Yep. Okay, so on a seven to nine, you stumble, hesitate, or flinch.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Offer you a worse outcome, hard bargain, or ugly choice. So you can distract them. In doing so, you're going to draw more attention to yourself, and they're going to take it out on you. They might sting you a little bit. They might do something to you. Because, I mean, they are spirit wasps, so it's not straight up stinging all the time. They're doing weird things to your spirit connection. It feels not good. It feels really bad.

So you can draw that danger to yourself. Yeah, I want to because they're in a better position to help me than I am. Okay. So yeah, I'll do that. Yeah. So what do you think this sting does to you? Does it hurt? I think it weakens me further. Maybe like I start losing consciousness. Okay. So you think it's just going to knock you back out? It's going to bring me back down. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Maybe it causes them to put a little bit of gross wash stuff over my mouth. Okay. Yeah.

So you yell out and they start… Coughing into their hands and putting it on my face. Yeah. You're going to get sick now. Wasp flu. The wasps start crawling all over you, up over your face. Yeah. And you feel them as you're spinning against them. They start barfing that paper and it's up your neck and then it's over your mouth and it seals your mouth shut. Your nose is still out so you can still breathe, but you are totally adhered and they're stinging you in a way that just knocks you right…

It feels like they're taking bits, not physically out of you, but spiritually out of you. Oh, man. And you're just unconscious. And Billy, Tuck, and Chathain, you see that happen. The wasps start freaking out. But since Ving did that, they are not paying attention to you. Am I corporeal now? You are corporeal, but you're still floating for now. Okay. And you still feel the ghost root kind of gurgling in your stomach once in a while. Okay. Yeah. So I'm corporeal, but I'm floating.

How did I become corporeal again? It was a consequence of a sickness. I think. Of a failure. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. It was a consequence of a failure because the whole thing was you were incorporeal, but that also meant that you couldn't be injured. Oh, yeah. But now you are back to being able to hit and be hit because you couldn't fight either. Oh, okay. Is the ghost root like wearing out a little bit?

It seems to be like in bits and pieces because at first you could fly and you weren't corporeal, but now you're corporeal again and you can assume that the next thing to go would be this ability to float. Okay. But you see Ving get knocked out by these wasps. What do you all do? We got to get your friend out of here. He's not going to last much longer. Did we ever try to create a fire to smoke out the wasps? No, we didn't. That's a good idea. That's a great idea. Yeah.

So what kind of fire making stuff? Wait, we have Perel with us too, right? Yeah. But he's been having trouble with spells. Okay. He can. He's been able to control the form of Koi. Of Koi, but he's said that he doesn't have access to his magic. What form is he in right now? He's very small, but he's like a chubby little tiny legs, tiny arms, fat little fish boy. Kind of like Billy sized, but a fish. That's great. Can he maybe help Billy? We got a book too full of spells. But he doesn't know.

Yeah. Tuck wants to hide that from Perel apparently. Oh, right. His little journal. Okay. All right. Yeah. I wink. I don't know. Getting back to winking. So you want to try and create a fire, Billy? Sure. Is that the plan? You're like, I'm going to smoke him out. Yeah. Because if we go grab Vang, well, they're like crawling on him. They're going to know we're there. Yeah. Yeah. Fire is a good idea. So what do you all have in your inventory potentially? I have this magnifying glass. That's true.

Yeah. But you're all papered up. You can't do shit. No. I have Larry and Chad. I can smash them against each other. See if I can make sparks. You can't just do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't. It's Flint and Steel. Wait.

Oh man um we've never tried it before but I guess we could I'm gonna try it and then I start sensually rubbing against one another uh do do do do do do do do do do do um I was gonna say you guys have adventuring gear um yeah but we can but I mean like rocks create friction friction creates heat I have my shitty grass cloak still that could be used as fuel we can yeah they could potentially they're thinking outside of the rocks um so they could potentially figure it out cause now they've got individuality they're thinking about what being a rock actually means it's also more fun it's more interesting than like adventuring gear mark check a thing off of your adventuring gear okay that was like such a dnd nerd thing for me to be like but what about your adventuring gear yeah it's funny you're a nerd so we'll have some sparks we need some tinder we need something to catch that's the grass cloak are you wearing it no no no I'm not gonna put it on cause then I will I will cook pretty fast probably but I'll hold it we're gonna roll this cause we wanna see if it'll even work right so and who are you using uh Larry and Chad the two rocks Terry is not involved yeah where's Terry can Larry say actually I'm Terry oh yeah I think you have all of them don't you isn't Terry still lit up no that would have ended long ago yeah okay do I have all of them then I think so okay whatever I take all of them you're gonna make them all do it I guess so why not three rocks I don't know how which two of you wanna be involved in this well I mean none of us really but uh come on this is a new thing just do it usually I just we'd all just feel like we were just one thing right but now it's like well this is my bud Terry this is my bud Chad now we're just rubbing up against each other this is a new experience for all of us look two of you guys step up let's get this done what if you just call two of them Terry what it's for now they just like alright let's just do it just get us in a pile okay figure it out I put them in a pile above the grass cloak this is all happening inside of a cocoon yeah and you're all speaking very quietly okay and I'm I guess everyone's like I'm not doing this I'm not doing this everyone's on my belly this is the orientation everyone's on my belly and Billy has put the grass cloak on my belly and I guess you're snuggled up pretty tight too should they yeah yeah you guys created like a hammock scenario I think if I remember correctly so alright what do I roll let's what do we think stop interrupting he's doing something I know he asked me what what he needs to do I asked what I roll yeah oh sorry he just really wants the action to happen uh I guess I guess it would be what do we think wisdom I guess it's spirit world stuff yeah so it'd probably be wisdom yeah 2d6 plus wisdom 6 plus 1 7 oh shit I didn't do any of the level up stuff no you didn't okay fuck I guess we do it at the end of the session we can do it at the end yeah okay well I okay 7 so 7 yeah it's a partial success what do you think happens because I think it works yeah no problem and it catches on fire but it it also catches my loincloth on fire oh no yeah I was gonna say I was gonna kind of agree like it works way too well way too fast this thing's full of smoke yeah the smoke is billowing out of the is this when Tux loses his beard oh no no no it is it is it is a spiritual projection of Tux so his material beard could very well still be intact but is I guess yeah I do I'm doing it like right here you know like when you when you're watching TV and you put a plate right on your chest no when you're just eating a huge plate of spaghetti and you're shoveling it directly into your mouth it's like that far away from my face so my beard is in it just as it is in spaghetti when I eat it on my chest so you put Larry, Terry, and Chad on the grass skirt and they are close to each other and they start sort of like grinding slowly at first yeah walk us through it but then they're like moving really fast they're really getting into it but they start heating up and they really love it they fucking love it and they're at this point they're like there's a point where they start moaning moaning moaning oh my god it's like it's like trying to record a podcast with my own brain at 13 so yes they're grinding they're getting into it it's going really well they were all nervous at first but they think you know what maybe three is the right number for them but there's but there is a point where they they're glowing yeah like they're glowing from the friction and then their smoke starts coming off of them the grass skirt yeah and then it all can you let me give it a blow yeah you gotta blow tell you gotta get in there you gotta blow okay I'll blow on it I don't have any hang-ups yeah so you blow a little bit of air on it so I blow a little bit on it I'm like do it do it yeah you don't have any hang-ups and the grass skirt catches and it just catches like wildfire it's so fiery and you can feel it start burning your beard I lose all of the hair on my face have you ever smelled it?

I've never smelled spirit hair burning before it's disgusting oh my god oh my god so in a few seconds like this little closed off area you've created with your bodies Billy you're standing next to Perel the little fish boy right now and this area is just filled with smoke and the thing is on fire and it's you've only got a few moments to figure out what to do what do you do?

I smack it off I smack it off of my I smack I go Billy help and I I smack it off of my I just kick it off of him you just kick it off?

Yeah and it hits the ground okay oh no I'm on fire oh and then I smack his face a bit to try and put out the flame just keep slapping I'll get in there too give him a couple slaps we gotta get this fire out by slapping this guy but we were trying to start a fire I like that I like that you were like I do I slap I do Billy help yeah so Billy you're trying to kick it out so I'm gonna slap you so you're trying to act quickly give me a defy danger dexterity alright 2d6 plus your dexterity modifier 7 yes okay so you kick it out like you run up and you kick this little bundle out like past Tuck's face you see it start floating down to the ground this burning ball of grass and hair what do we think happens?

It starts filling the chamber with smoke again very quickly yeah like it hits a pile of like detritus like wasp paper and um! Bones and like the weird old newspapers scales and feathers and yeah yeah totally like weird bones from different things uh so so it it floats down into a pile of that sort of stuff and uh Shathane you can see cause are you on top of or underneath this pile?

I'm on top so you look I can see down through the like the cloaks coming over as like kind of a tent arrangement and then kind of sealing up around the edges of but a little a little gap between the edges of the side is jaw knocked out and I can see that go down I can also now see uh your chin doesn't match the rest of your physique and we can see why you had such a great big huge beard there yeah what does Tuck's hairless face look like?

It's really fat he looks like a baby it's just round totally round it's really like I have a double chin oh my god you look so fit in everywhere else I don't know how to lose weight in just my chin oh I I know the feel oh my god but like instantly just cute and way less threatening like you just look super huggable yeah better grow it back before I wake up yeah yeah it's like I have a like I have a big double chin and another chin a triple chin I have a triple chin two chins yeah three chins yeah I look like Kyle Kinane without the beard wow wow he looks fucking awful without the beard that's crazy uh so this is a tattoo of an ex-girlfriend yeah who tried to drag him to hell yeah great the cavern starts catching everything starts burning so fast it starts pouring up the walls and spreading out all over the ground and again within like 20 seconds the place is burning are the wasps gone?

At first they're still really swarming all over Ving and all over that section of the wall and then the ones even in other parts of the cavern you know yeah they start either dropping or fleeing yeah they seem to be pouring out of this cavern now oh this is like the opening that fire has always been looking for yeah totally we like snuck fire into the lair of the wasp yeah it's like exactly how are Larry and Chad doing? Uh did they come?

Oh maybe oh my no it was all three of them so they all came oh cool uh they um whoo so do you do you think they went down with the pile? Oh did they go down? When Billy kicked the pile out? Yeah that would make sense yeah so you can't see how they're doing right now oh no it's okay they're rocks they will survive the flames at least they got off they got their rocks their rocks got off?

Nice um um yeah so that's the situation this place is engulfed in flames so um this looks like a good opportunity for us to maybe uh maybe start chopping your friend out of the wall here yeah but now you now Tuck has to maneuver uh his weird blimp-like body uh through a bunch of fire hey I'm in a bulk phase okay well luckily the uh cloak is made out of uh oh butter moth silk is flame retardant yeah which is fireproof this is easy yeah we're gonna get out of here no problem oh sick that's great yeah hey Tuck let's all swim like kick our legs and propel ourselves towards Finn okay yeah start kicking my legs a little bit alright and is Billy also kicking his legs like helping?

But I'm just laying on Tuck and I'm not doing much but his legs are he's trying he's kind of doing the thing from 80s movies where like girls are like on their beds talking on the phone and they're like kicking their legs in the air yeah it's like one of those little um blue foam boards at the pool he's just like alright 2d6 plus dexterity to get close enough to grab to get Bing at it well close enough to act because he's like in there it's not just gonna be a like swoop down grab him yank him off okay potentially okay do we think Billy's kicking is helping?

Yes yes so then Billy rolls 2d6 plus the bond it's the whole hook you have to believe yeah if you wish to achieve oh boy well 9 10 okay I did not do so well it didn't matter I succeeded okay no Billy failed though okay because he rolled to 8 and he still rolled a failure so sorry so you're gonna get what you want Tuck Billy mark a point of experience so Tuck you start like swimming in you're passing through or around or above like gouts of flame that are pouring off the walls and floor and um this flame is picking up so much that it is becoming an aspect of fire so now it's like the flames are coalescing and acting together almost to actively destroy the cavern and you can hear fires like consume consume and now this fire is becoming one big raging spirit okay well my priority is to get Ving out so Shathane can you like hop down and like start cutting him out of that thing spray some water on my face or something spray some just help me wake up yeah so how does how does Shathane try and get him out um well I've got a short sword while you guys are holding the cloak out and it's sort of tent shape bubble shape for us to still stay under it I'll get the short sword out and just start hacking away at the at the burning I guess paper and gunk and yeah and uh and wasp cum or whatever's holding him in there great it's a real blue episode yeah so far is it spelt lower knights um so is that the sun goes down is that a strength uh yeah but a hack and slash like are you are you trying to just like force through it I'm trying to just cut away at the edges to get enough to pull him to pull a chunk of him off that he's in that we can it's on fire right or it starts it's starting to be on it's starting to catch like on the sides I'm trying to I'm trying to cut away at the just do whatever I can to dislodge him where there's little gaps or where there's fire where there's burnt bits just get the sword in there and just like wedge him out of there yeah great uh okay yeah give me a 2d6 plus strength and tuck in billy you and perel is turning around like oh no and you can feel fire like pressing against you like moving towards so 11 and 2 hell yeah 13 yeah you just are cutting through this thing like butter um like paper maybe no butter butter buttery paper um you know just when you get a nice fresh piece of paper it's just like butter it just melts on your tongue yeah so you hack through with your sword and you feel like ving the weight of ving's body which you're noticing feels different than pretty much anything you've handled in the spirit world so far like he's got this density and this like placeness that you don't experience often because his physical body is actually here he just comes off the wall and falls into your arms and ving you start coming back too because you feel all these sensations and you feel your body under its own weight again and you're slowly like fluttering like oh coming back to the surface who are you you open your eyes and you you awake to a smoky cavern and a smoky gentleman yeah and the face of an elf that you actually might recognize oh do you recognize him whoa I'm Shathane and we don't have a lot of time to chat we gotta get you out of here this place is burning down no let's figure out what exposition is possible here this is what I'm saying from inside the cloak I can't believe I'm being saved by a wick oh and that is where we're gonna end it for today thank you for listening to Spout Lore everybody I've been your game master Sean O'Hara with me as always playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz boys just wanna have fun Fat Billy the halfling thief played by Jessica Tai Abdul has a firm grip so I'll give him the firmest pencil I have Ving Vang Zumba the half elven druid Paul Oppers I like the rocks so much Shathane Wick the elven ranger Mark Robertson yeah let's get physics in here now and explain why these things won't work in the game thanks to Abdul and Wes for making all the technical stuff happen behind the scenes thanks to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music thanks to Mark and MP for their home for welcoming us into their home and Longa McQuaid for having a very flexible return policy thanks to Longa McQuaid for not asking too many questions yeah Longa McQuaid you're gonna be getting some of this equipment back today and thank you to you for listening we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried their best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more words whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spell long I think tattoos are stupid though you literally have a massive tattoo of a tree I know I didn't choose to get that and an old girlfriend on one of your chins that's why I think tattoos are dumb oh you hate tattoos because you got one of an ex a long time ago it was a really bad choice nobody even tried to talk me out of it I'm sorry you gave it to yourself and I gave it to my so now the A's are backwards in a mirror it's really hard the A's are backwards Paul I'm so glad you're back

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your Game Master, Sean. I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. And with me, as always, players and dear friends. Abdul. Hey everybody. Playing the spirit of Elk, Jessica. Hi. Playing the spirit of Polar Bear, Mark. Hi. In my brain I was saying, playing the spirit of Elk. Sorry. Playing the spirit of Elk, Mark. Hi. Well, you know what? Fuck it. Playing Big Bang Zumba, the druid. Hi friends. Paul. And Westlord, here, back at home. Westlord, here, back in the saddle again. Back in the saddle again.

Second time today again. ACDC gets you where you want to be in your life. Wait. Is this ACDC, but they're like a bus company? They're a trucking company. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always carrying… Saddles. Yeah. When last we left our heroes. Uh. Yeah. Ving, Elk, Owl, and Polar Bear had met up with Boar, who had been attacked by the spirit of Wasp. A big swarm of Wasps. And Ving fought them off with the help of Elk and Polar Bear.

And we have watched as Elk and Polar Bear slowly become interested in being human, which mostly takes the form of walking on their hind legs and proclaiming love for one another. As humans are wont to do. Yeah. Humans love to be in love. It's true. And in the Dust Bowl, the realm of Wasp, Boar had said that they found some human detritus, some objects. And Ving is now in possession of a beaten up magnifying glass. And Boar led them to where he found the magnifying glass.

And while digging through the debris, Ving found, amongst other rubble, a human body. Ew. So yeah, Ving, you dig up a human corpse. At least you see the face of it. What do you do? Keep digging like Jurassic Park. Around it. Oh yeah. Gently. Great. Tell me about what do you think this person looks like? Their teeth are pulled back. The lips have dried out. Eyes are wide open, sunken black, demonic holes of death. Wait, just like no eyes or that's where their eyes were? Yeah. Yeah.

But you can't see the inside of their skull. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. With a jester's hat on. What? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well it's a game of the frozen north of course um it's played mostly with um sticks uh-huh um with the big daggers attached to the your feet are we just going to distract describe hockey how far are you gonna let me go here is there a twist some fantasy twist yeah it's that the puck is actually alive yeah it's this gelatinous like very fat kind of it's almost like a squirrel but it's all fat it curls up it's called flop it's called a flob wow all right it does what it wants yeah you can't be good at the game yeah because the squirrel go it runs all over the place the flub is and there weren't always squirrels like that like they just kind of showed up one day yeah it's weird they kind of look like uh I don't know like a frog and a squirrel yeah I don't know what happened there uh great so flob hockey player in a jester outfit uniform yeah and the skates uh the daggers yep wow anybody want these daggers oh this I like those bells those are cool I like those bells cool just gonna start picking up the bells well no if nobody else is getting his bells these are I like these that's a little morbid jingle yeah they start jingling around yeah you just bite yeah pick at them bite one of them yeah I'm just gonna pick at them and bite one of them yeah I'm just gonna pick at them and kind of wiggle it around and swallow it also uh elk you know how like elk have that thing where if there's like a twig that snaps or danger nearby they like freeze and look it's that's the feeling that I have now yeah or this is the voice that's the feeling that I have now and it's not helping that owl is sitting there jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle with their bell I look at all I'm like hit shit stop it it's bells these are cool jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle I lumber over there and then I just lay on L to shut him up.

Just going to do this really gentle. So, Fig's going on to all the mounds and digging them up. Yeah, like while this is happening, my ears are like satelliting around to try and like hear something. Yeah. So, I guess discern realities? Yeah, sure. See if your survival instincts are picking anything else. Plus what? Wisdom. Wisdom. Ooh, which one? Six plus one, seven. Ooh. In under the wire. So, you get one question from the discern realities list, which is, what happened here recently?

What is about to happen? What should I be on the lookout for? What here is useful or valuable to me? Who's really in control here? What here is not what it appears to be? Who's really in control here? I'm trying to listen for someone. Yeah. For the shape of something. Yeah. So, Boar suggested when you were coming this way, that wasp didn't really bother them when they would come out and dig around. But for some reason, they got really uppity this time.

Suggesting almost that, oh, they don't come over here. But looking around, listening, you're hearing humming of some kind, like a vibration. You're looking around and listening, looking up in the sky, looking around bushes and stuff like that. Like, are there wasps here? And you realize that you're hearing them inside the walls of the canyon. So, I tell that to everyone. I'm like, guys, there's something here. There's something here. I'm digging the walls of the canyon. I can hear it.

And it's getting louder. It's coming. What's it sound like? It sounds like humming. We're in danger. Yes. It sounds like danger. Boar, what have you done? Hey, hold on a second. I was just digging around. I don't know what you guys are… But if they're… If wasp is coming back, we gotta go. I don't know that it's wasp, but it's definitely in all of these walls. Oh, boy. Boar's like stamping around and is looking at all the piles like, quick! Quick! And then just starts digging.

And eating everything he finds. Eating everything that like, there's… You see a glint of metal. You see like, what looks like a book of some kind, like a ripped up book. Eat it all, Boar! Get it all! Put it in ya! Boar's just going nuts. We gotta find somewhere to hide. This… We're fucked if whatever is coming is coming. Uh, yeah, so… Elemental mastery! Oh, what do you do? Build a wall of looking at like, dust. Gather the dust so it looks like it's a false wall of the canyon.

We all line up against the canyon. Up against the canyon! Up against the canyon! Up against the canyon! Up against the canyon! Up against the canyon! And I make a wall of dust to emulate rock. Cool. Like a shield. So this is a new… Camouflage. This is a new thing that Bing can do. Uh, for the… For the listeners at home, why don't you tell me a little bit about elemental mastery? Uh, I can call on the primal spirits of fire, water, earth, or air to perform a task.

You do that by rolling plus wisdom. Yep. Let's roll it. 2d6 plus wisdom. Okay. Nine. Cool. What does it look like while Bing is doing this? Because this is the first time Bing has done this. He… It takes his staff and like a long outdrawn arm and draws a circle around.

He spins around running around in a circle and the dust is picking up and goes swirling around him and flattening out thin along him but the same width of his body and the tornado is wide across him and encumbers them up against the wall and encases them and the wall shifts and it settles as exactly the cliff wall. Wow. Kind of shimmers as like just dust and then… Yeah. Settles as… Oh, so… And we're inside looking at the opposite image.

Now, keep in mind you get to choose one of three outcomes. Okay. So the three choices you get to choose one of on the seven to nine are the effect you desire comes to pass, you avoid paying nature's price, or you retain control. Hmm. I only get to choose one? Yeah. Hmm. So if you were to lose control it could be something like the spirit of dust does that, and more, but on their terms, like, or if you were to… Say you're like, oh, I want to call up a fire to block the way.

So the fire does block the way, but then you lose control of the fire and the fire just starts going nuts. Yeah. Or if you avoid paying nature's price, that means you don't get burned or that the spirits don't try and take something from you in return for their services. The effect you desire comes to pass. Okay. Let's just make it happen. Yeah. So in this case, you do not avoid paying nature's price and you do not retain control. So you spin this bowl, this dust bowl, upside down dust bowl.

It flattens into a wall. Yeah. Oh, so is it… Are you blocking yourself in against… Up against the wall with the rock at our backs. Yeah. Okay, great. So you do that. You hear the spirit of dust in the air. Like, I will do this for you. And you start… They start spinning up around you and the dust wall forms in front of you. So the wall closes up around you, boar, elk, and you're like, polar bear and owl.

And dust says, like, hisses in your ear, I have done this, but my services are not free. The dust starts pouring into your mouth and your nose and pushing down your throat. And in your gills. Yeah, dust is delighted to find out you've got more breathing holes. And starts pouring in. Roll a d6. Five. Boy, oh boy. You take five damage. Yoinks. How much do you have left? Three. Oh. So you're just, like, coughing and choking and owl, elk, and polar bear, you hear Ving choking and coughing.

Oh my god. I pat him on the back really hard. Oh, don't do that. Oh, sorry. I'll be at the front. Oh. Pat him on the front a little bit. Water. I'd like to, but I'm kind of stuck under a polar bear. What's happening? I go up to him and I lick inside of his mouth to get it moist again. Yeah, there's a big wet tongue coming out of your mouth. Keep it coming. Keep it coming. Keep it coming. Oh my god. So dust, does that, dust pours down your throat and in your gills and in your nose. Oh, dust.

And then, through the wall of dust that you've created, you hear grit blowing up against the wall and blowing against the walls of the canyon and whipping up more and more as the spirit of dust just spins. And you can just feel through the air a big twisting vortex outside. And things are banging against one another and debris is getting thrown around. It sounds like skulls and leg bones are flying around. Dust is just Sounds gross. Going nuts. Good. Yeah. Except for the dust in my lungs.

Yeah, that's not so great. Spirit dust in real lungs. Yeah. So dust does leave but they're going somewhere. Mm-hmm. Yeah. They seem emboldened. So you still hear the humming. You hear the like through the walls and through the floor. And boar is stamping around nervously. Boar's snuffling around like we can't stay in here forever. Maybe we're safer now. But like, what are we going to do after? How do we get out of this place? Did you eat anything useful? Oh, that's a great question.

I was just kind of blindly chowing down. Let me see. Let's see your contents. And does the same thing and barfs up four items. And those items are a mirror, but it's all black. Oh, like a blackened out mirror? No, it's there's no there's nothing on the surface of it. Like it's it's a mirror. It's got a very ornate frame. But instead of seeing yourself, you just see blackness. Whoa. And there's nothing in there's nothing like covering it. Yeah. It's just the glass is black. Spooky.

And the second item is anything at all. Oh my God. An artichoke. No, no. An artichoke. It could be an artichoke. No. Stick the landing. Stick the landing. Okay. Just first object comes to mind. Three, two, one. An artichoke. I don't know. Okay. Now modify it somehow. Yeah. Okay. It's not a real artichoke. Yeah. What is it? It is a puzzle. Oh, like a wooden like artichoke puzzle. Like a puzzle box? Made out of brass and glass.

No, it's a real artichoke, but it's a very rare kind that acts as a puzzle and never blooms until you figure out its workings, its patterns, and then it holds it grows something inside that's useful. What the hell? That's so cool. That's awesome. Thanks. All right. A puzzle artichoke. It just looks like an artichoke to you, but it's weird that it hasn't rotted or anything. And the third item is a small clock. Yeah. Is it ticking or not ticking? It's not ticking yet. Oh. What? Now it's ticking.

Oh, what the hell? Bore's like, oh! Something in my tongue must have activated this little thingy over here. It wasn't doing that when I swallowed it. It's a water clock. It runs on your saliva spit. Ew. And the fourth item is? A little fabric pouch. Looks kind of rotten. The top's kind of looks like it was all sewn up, but some stuff's spilling out of the top now. I can't really tell. I can't really tell. I can't really tell. I can't really tell. I can't really tell.

Some shiny, like, glistening, like, powder, maybe, like. Ooh. Like, shiny sand or something like that. Oh. Glitter. Love it. And he goes, oh, wait. One more. The fifth item is? This is Wes, technical producer on the hot mic. I don't appreciate being included in this. A block. We can cut that. Yeah. Make it four items. Would you prefer that? No. I mean, that's up to me. I can just, I can just, yeah. Would you? Yeah, let's. Okay.

So, yeah, Borg goes, I don't know if any of these are useful, but they're pretty cool. Huh? Yeah. Can I stick my head out so I can see if the wasps are in the area, if they're just around? He wants to see, make a little rock window. You would have to, like, dig through it. Yeah, poke a little hole to look out. Yeah. Do you see through one section of the wall near where you found the body, which you now see has been like thrown across this section of the canyon and is now splayed out.

It's a little jester hat is all askew. Near where you found the body, you see a small opening, maybe about the size of a basketball, but you do see some wasps pouring out of that hole and they are probing around, flying around in little swarms, hither and yon, searching. What do you do? We need to plug that hole. Can I run out and belly flop as a rock slab onto the wall? The hole? You're going to shape shift? Yeah. All right. 2d6 plus your wisdom. Nine. Nine. So that means you get one hole.

One hold. And you get to form craft yourself. So plus one to one stat minus one to another stat. Plus one to I guess strength. Minus one to dexterity because you are rock. And so as we have described, when you call upon the spirits of rock, to change your shape, little rocks start like rumbling in the canyon. And then they just whip towards you and start pelting you. And it doesn't feel good. No. But they're like digging into your flesh, sinking into your body.

And then it's like, it's not a complete transformation. No, more like the thing. Yeah. You're just kind of a lumpy rock man. But it gets the job done and you slam across. Oh, sorry. No, what are you going to do? I'm going to use my newfound arms. Um, now they don't have to always walk on them. And I'm going to pick up a bunch of the rocks and start filling in that hole. Okay, great. Uh, so we can make that a defy danger. And an aid. And an aid, yeah. Cool. Well, not very good.

Not very good as in? Um, well, I rolled three. Yeah, that's very not good. Yeah. Wow. Her failure doesn't necessarily mean you fail. Okay. So defy danger. What do we think? Okay. Okay. So if you're just trying not to get, let them get through your body, maybe constitution. I'm just falling on top of it. I was thinking strength. Yeah, strength works. Ten. Ten. Okay. You slam your body on this hole. You're like, I did it. They're not getting through now. And polar bears like, I'm coming.

I'll help you. And the arm full of rocks. Yeah, yeah. And starts like picking up rocks and, um, picks up a pretty huge one being a big, strong polar bear and steps on a section of the canyon floor that just crumbles away. And polar bear tumbles into a tunnel. I run and I catch him with my hoof. How? This is a failure. Polar bears in the hole. All right. Can I run and catch? You run and scream. Polar bears fallen out of sight is what I mean. Can I run up and try and catch him?

You can run after him. Can I run up and try and catch him in the hole? It's a failure. Do I try? Do I? If I try, you try to do it. You run up. You stick your hoof out already out of already at arm's reach. PB. See you again. My nickname. My nickname form is PP. Like peanut butter. Peanut butter. PB. Oh, okay. PP. Oh, polar bear. PP. But there's like, if you hear polar bear like, wham. Oh. How far down are you? I don't know. Like five seconds of falling.

And you hear like, falling, falling, falling. Owl, can you go down and see if he's okay? I'll go have a look. You guys just hang on a second and I'll just hop over to the hole and then try and gently flutter down in there and see what's going on. Yeah, great. Owl superior night vision. Yeah. Exactly. And also wings. And wings. You flutter down into the hole. Ving, you're like holding against this hole like you feel wasps stinging and probing like you're getting inside. You'll never get out.

And then you look over and you see there's just a big hole in the ground wherever it used to be. Jumping down. Like, wait a second. What about me? Can I look around? Yeah. Like, does it look like we might all want to go down in here? Does that look like it might be a good way to get out of this? Yeah, it might be. You don't hear as much buzzing, quite as much buzzing in this area at least. You don't know if it's totally devoid of wasps, but it's definitely less immediately full of wasps.

Polar bear seems okay. A little worse for wear. No, I'm fine. Yes, Sean. Don't speak for me. I speak for everybody. Not me. Okay, well, you do not. You definitely don't take any damage, but the issue is that you're not going to be able to get back out. Yeah, but I'm fine with it. You know how I go with the flow of things. So it's like polar bear crumbled down into like basically a ramp and just hit this ramp and started rolling.

And at the base of this ramp, quite far down, it just levels out into a pretty large tunnel, large enough for polar bear to not stand on the ground. Not stand on their hind legs, but, you know, walk around comfortably. I think we're probably going to be better down here. Yeah, boar walks up to elk and looks down the hole. Oh, boy, that's quite a tumble. Yeah. And I push boar in. Oh, boy. And then just skids down. Polar bear, you hear some and then just right next to you. Boar bumps into you.

It's cool. You're fine, buddy. Boar fell down. And gets back up on their hooves. I run over to Vang and I'm like, fucking turn back into regular and get on my back. Yo, get out of here. Leave me behind. You're way more important. There's literally no reason to sacrifice yourself right now. There's another way out. Oh, it hurts so much. Then just stop doing it. They're stinging me. Okay, then turn back normal. Oh, what is normal?

An owl pops back up out of the hole to see elk very calmly talking to Vang who's screaming. What are you doing here? Get out of here. She's like, oh my God. And I just, I grab him with my hooves. Can I lift him up? No, you don't have thumbs. But I can just wedge him. Wedge him. Can I? Sure. You're getting weirdly human. Got a lot of dexterity in your hooves now. Yeah, so I pry him up and I just put him on my back. But I'm not walking like an elk.

I have him like fireman throw it over my shoulder. Yeah. Yeah. And I run to the hole and I jump in. And owl, as elk grabs Vang and jumps, starts running down the hole, you see that nobody picked up those objects. I mean, just barfed him onto the ground. Can't just leave those here. We got to, so I run over there and I kind of pick around and I just scoop as much as I can up with my little, with my little claws and try and. You get one. But it appears I can only pick up one of my little claws.

So I'm having a look at them and trying to quickly decide which one was the coolest. Or remember, actually, what they all were. So there's the mirror. There is the artichoke, the puzzle artichoke. Which is awesome. But there is the water clock, the water clock that is now ticking. And there was a small bag that looks like it has shiny powder in it. I think the shiny powder. I don't really know what the clock thing is. It's just, I don't know what it would do. Okay. Everybody hates.

I definitely pick shiny powder. I can see what owl is looking at as I jump into the hole and I was like, don't be a fucking idiot. Get the artichoke. And I jump in. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So I'm just standing there and I got an artichoke in one hand. Just bees everywhere. And then I got this little shiny powder and I throw the powder away. No. Into a big cloud up in the air and I grab this artichoke and I hop over. You throw it up in the air? Yeah.

And I hop over to the hole and I jump back down with the artichoke. Does the powder do anything? Yeah. It starts to like catch the sunlight and it's got a little rainbow hue which I look at as I fall backwards into the hole. That's tight. Ving opens the hole and runs off and you throw the powder in the air and it shimmers in a cloud and the wasps all go straight for the powder. You flip off the wasps as you fall. He doesn't have fingers. I've got talons and so I can… Oh, Jesus.

I just learned the longest feather. Yeah, that's what I thought it was going to be. Oh, no, no, no. It was my feet. Okay. And you tumble down the hole and the wasps that were coming out of that tunnel all approach the… Start swirling around this shiny dust and you get away. Cool. You idiots somehow get away every time using the tools that you have at your disposal and random luck based on if I think something would be funny. Ving asks him, now, where's that water clock? That thing was cool.

I have no idea what time it is. So you're at the bottom of this tunnel and you're all kind of in a pile. You do hear the buzzing now at the mouth of this hole. You don't have much time you assume before the wasps realize this is just a bunch of shiny powder. So what do you do? We book it. We go. Is there a way down? In? Up? It goes deeper into like the walls of the canyon basically. Can I use my elk knows the ways? Yeah. Yeah, so I feel the right way to go is deeper in. Yeah.

I was like, we have to go in to get out. Yeah, you gotta go in to get out. So you go deeper into the tunnels and it is dark in the humming. The humming is fairly present around here, but you feel fairly safe right now. But we're going to maybe make this another undertake a perilous journey. Okay. So does anybody have any roles they would like to take for the journey? Trailblazer again, I guess. Scout might not be so good for owl. Yeah, I'm just kind of paddling along. I'll do scout. I'll hit it.

He's feeling, Bing's feeling very brave. I can quartermaster about how to do the roles. Okay, sure. Okay, so everybody with a role, 2d6 plus wisdom. 10. 10. 6. Okay. I got 12. Good job. I'm not bragging. I'm just explaining that I got 12. Yeah. It sounded like a brag, but I'm just… So you… I had a lot of shitty roles and it just felt good to hit a 12. Well done, Mark. Congratulations. You're like, you dig around in the dirt a little bit in the tunnel and you're like, hey, a bunch of worms.

Yeah, nice. Bing. You like worms, right? You want to hit up these worms? Yeah, I love worms. Elk, you're feeling… You're trying to feel the way like you usually do. It's hard down here because like directions are very difficult because the tunnels sort of dip and turn and twist on each other. You think you've got the right way.

You're not 100% confident in it and it's not until you turn a bend in the tunnel and you come out into a wide open chamber much, much bigger than it should be and there's light pouring in from holes in the ceiling of the chamber.

Further in, there's a massive cloud of wasps and they're buzzing around all these like papered up areas of the hive and there's piles of debris and detritus and you see bodies here and there and this appears to be like you've wandered right into the central area of wasps' hive. Oh, fuck. I went the wrong way. Yeah, no shit. Okay, so you've wandered headfirst into the central chamber of wasps' nest basically. What do you do? I've got control over all this water in here.

Could I run across the top of the water? Water? Isn't there water in this cave? No, there's like light and there's debris like piles of stuff. I'm so thirsty. It's just dust. Yeah. I mean, you can control a lot of like all the primal elements basically. It does say fire, water, earth or air. Like it's not super loose. Mm-hmm. You could do air. Yeah. Yeah, I could really create a vacuum on the other side of the hole in the roof and start sucking bees up. Okay. All right. Yeah.

Give me a 2d6 plus wisdom for elemental mastery. Nine. Nine. So again, the effect you desire comes to pass. You avoid paying nature's price. You retain control. This is a pretty dangerous situation. And also you only have three HP left. Yeah. Should we get, should we, maybe head back or can I aid him? What did you roll in nine? Nine. You could definitely try. Yeah. So I like, I go behind him and as he's focusing, I like do like a really deep humming. And I say deeper.

And then I go deeper and I'm like, it's working. Seven. Plus? Plus what? Plus your bond, but you don't have any really. So you succeed. Yeah. It's a seven. It's a seven and a nine success. So you take it to a 10. So you get two. Effect I desire comes to pass and retain control. Okay. So you still pay nature's price. Of suck. Nature's price of vacuum suck. How do you call? Suck it. I say. So you scream suck it at the top of your lungs. This one's for Tacoma Dome. Suck it.

And where I am in the corporeal, I can feel somebody sucking it. Yeah. I could feel someone screaming suck it. And I just slowly high five nothing. Yeah. And I don't know why I'm doing it, but I chuckle a little bit and I'm like, good one. And I high five nothing. Billy, you see Tuck high fiving the air. I don't know why. So I do it too. Flashback to the spirit realm and things going down low. Okay. So I'm going to go to the spirit realm. So I'm going to go to the spirit realm.

So yeah, I also go down low. So I'm in the middle of the cavern with my hair. Yeah. So there's a lot of wasps. So are you thinking you're going to be able to get all of them or are you just… Most. Most. And then we can at least see where they are. Is this the dead end? Is there another way? I mean, Elk, you do feel that there would be a way through to the surface like in this chamber. So at least get the wasp up to the ceiling.

I look at all the different openings and one of them, I don't know, I can feel like pulsing coming from it. I'm like, there's one. There's one way out of here. Yeah. So it's like all the way across. Like you basically have to cut diagonal across this whole thing. But air starts blowing wasps out of the ceiling and stuff starts popping off because they're not used to a big spirit like air throwing its weight around in here. So things start buffeting to and fro.

Stuff starts blowing around the room including wasps and they start getting blown out the top. And the rest of the wasps that are left in here start freaking out. What do you do? Beeline it for that hole. Beeline it. You like it? Wasp line it. Wasp line it. Please. All right. Everybody give me a defy danger. Explain how you're avoiding danger and then tell me what stat you're using. Polar bear? All right. What's your plan? I'm going to use strength. Tell me how.

I'm going to charge because it's the fastest way I can power through movements of the air. Yeah. So that's an eight. No, that makes sense. Yeah. All right. Okay. Elk? I watch polar bear run and I'm like, God, he's beautiful. And then I roll. Six plus constitution. How's that work? I'm just like muscling through because I can feel the wind like pulling me up. So I put my front two hooves on the ground for the first time in a little while.

And I'm like digging them into the ground and I'm like, you will not take me air. And then I'm like, really just like, you can see like my neck is like, there's a lot of veins in it. I'm like, I'm going to get through this. And I'm moving through methodically and I shit a little bit. And I keep going. That is not a little bit. Yeah. So that's how I do it. Pounding through. How's Al doing it? I use my magical mastery of the air.

The air is a beautiful flying creature and look at that wind currents and try and figure out the most efficient way to get through there and avoid any risks. And but it's quite a quite an exertion. So I poop a little bit too. So defy danger dexterity. I think. Yeah, that makes sense. Minus one for pooping. Nine. Cool. Then I'm going to run full force forward while twirling my staff. All right. So defy danger. You're a human like physical person. Yeah.

And you're not like massively strong dexterity. You'd be kind of dodging the wind, I guess. Yeah, I think dexterity makes sense. I think we can we can do that. All right. Yeah. Six. Six. Yeah. So you lead the way for polar bear and elk and and owl helping them get ahead of you through the wind as they move towards the opening that elk pointed out as the wind starts to pick up around you and buffet you more and more. You find that you can't move forward and this is you paying nature's price.

It's at this point that you see your spirit friends move forward out of danger up into the hole. Once you realize that they're safe, the wind suddenly dies and through the holes in the ceiling and the holes in the wall, the wasps start pouring back in. They come in, they swarm around you in a cloud, a huge cloud. And here's the thing. You can roll damage right now, but you can't or you can just let the wasps do what they're going to do. You can fight it or you can just let it happen.

I'm going to welcome it arms up. Just let them overtake you. So the wasps pour in your vision clouds, you feel stings and bites and your vision goes black and you wake up here and there for a while like in and out of consciousness. You fade in, you're being dragged bodily across the floor by a swarm of wasps. You fade back out. You fade back in, you're freezing cold. You fade back out. Fade back in, you're soaking wet for some reason. You don't know why. It's honey. You fade back out.

You fade back in and you're upside down hanging by your leg on something against the wall. You fade back out. And you open your eyes at one point blearily and see that you've been papered into the wall of this massive hive. You fade back out. And you fade in and out a little bit longer. You don't know how much time passes. It could be hours, days, weeks, I don't know.

And you open your eyes at one point because you feel a commotion in the air and the wasps are buzzing around you more than you have felt since you've been on this cavern wall. And the wasps part a little bit. It seems like they're distracted for a moment by something else. And the cloud thins. And you see what looks like a cloud. And you see what looks like a cloud. And you see what looks like a cloud. And you see what looks like a cloud. And you see what looks like a cloud.

And you see what looks like a gray ball of cloth bobbing through the air. Through the cavern, this little pierogi of cloth starts to float through the air ahead of you. And you see the end of this, like, mass that's facing you part a little bit. And through it, you see a brown-skinned face, a big bushy beard, and a chubby little boy looking at you. Take cover! Take cover! Take cover! Take cover! Take cover! Take cover! Billy! Billy! Back out. And that's where we'll end it.

Thanks for listening to Spout Lore. Everybody. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara with me as always players of dual. And he would give me red bulls for free. You guys, Jessica, imagine you come up with like five cake pops. Paul dumps like a tuck, tuck, tuck all night long. And Mark, honestly, that's my dream. And our technical producer, Wes Lord. Thanks to Aaron Reed from Vancouver Sunday service for our awesome intro and outro music.

Thank you to Mark and MP for graciously allowing us to play in their home. And thank you to you for listening. And we'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures. Three who tried the best they can. Dumb and scared and lost. They be for times of breast in. Reveal. And. Though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I gladly Spout Lore.

There's a ton of work. Thank you.

Sorry, I'm really full of pizza. I'm feeling a little sluggish mentally. Don't, whoa, where is that? Oh, on my stomach, okay. Abdul just started reaching under the picnic table that we, poker table. I know how to get that pizza out. Where? Okay. Welcome to Spout Lore, everybody. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest, they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. Welcome back. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara.

And with me, as always, it's a full house. Again, for the first time in a long time, players Abdul. Hello, everyone. Today playing the spirit of Elk, Jessica. Oh, hi. Playing the spirit of Polar Bear, Mark Robertson. Hello. Playing the spirit of Owl and Paul Ops. Hello. Playing Ving Vang Zumba. And in the house, West Lord. Happy to be back. Well, we're happy to have you back. He's given me about as much as he usually does. One thumb up. We're continuing our journeys.

When last we left our heroes. Ving Vang Zumba, the druid, remains trapped in the spirit realm and is in the presence. Of the spirits that he most often takes the shapes of Owl, Polar Bear, and Elk. At the end of last session, you were trapped in the Dust Bowl by the spirit of fire. After an I'll-fated attempt to contact Wind to get some information to aid Ving in his journey back to the physical world. And that is where we find our characters. Just sort of in the Dust Bowl.

This dusty, craggy, horrid place. A place that Polar Bear remembers as being Tundra at one point in time. So you find yourself in the Dust Bowl. Which you also know is the realm of Wasp. A particularly aggressive spirit. So what's Ving's plan? So Ving is walking ahead. Yeah, going towards the place to find the smuggler. To ride the wind back to the real world. Right, so the plan is just… Get to the smuggler. Yeah, if it's on the other side, cut through. Yeah, totally. Great. And also to…

He's troubled by the fact that he offended the eagle. Because he uses the spirits. He convenes with them to walk in the spirit world, right? So he didn't know that he was enslaving these poor things. Right. He didn't know. He didn't think about that. He thought it was a cool collaboration that he had this power. But now he sees that… You know, it's a lot darker than that. Right. So is this changing how he feels? So we've talked about it a little bit the last session.

How this changed how he feels about shapeshifting. Yeah. Is he hesitant to? I think so at this point, yeah. Yeah, interesting. Yeah, so okay. So you're walking through the rocky ridges of the tundra that were filled with ice and snow. And all that has gone away, leaving a very craggy, twisty, turny series of canyons. The high walls of these canyons rise up on either side. And you are… If you're basically… If you're going to force your way through this, it's probably going to be a…

Undertake a perilous journey role. Which is a move, obviously, that is used… When you travel through hostile territory, choose one member of the party to act as a trailblazer, one to scout ahead, and one to quartermaster. So this is pretty hostile territory, knowing that this is the haunt of Wasp. So yeah, who's going to be the scout? Who's going to be the trailblazer? Who's going to be the quartermaster? I'll be the trailblazer. Okay. Yeah. I think scout, because I can fly. Yeah. Yeah.

I'll quartermast. Great. Yeah, you're technically the only one that needs to eat. Yeah. Really. Yeah. Can you… What am I eating here? Yeah, are you sustained by the… Yeah, this environment. Yeah. Well, yeah, you do forage, but it is weirder. Vapors. Yeah. Okay. He's in a lot of vaping. You're vaping? Okay. Holy shit. Yeah, so what sort of stuff has Ving been eating? Not much, I don't think. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, being… He's really slimmed down. Being in the spirit world might…

Because when you're in the physical world, you're picking berries, and roots, and stuff like that as you go. But in the spirit world, yeah, it is a weirder feeling. Maybe the spirits of foraging, the things come to him. Oh. Like a little… Yeah, reindeer moss comes. Hey, man. What's up? It's me. Like a little blackberry spirit. It's like, hey, Ving. Yeah. Okay, yeah. I like that off-screen that's been happening. Every once in a while, a little like apple spirit. It's like, hey, man, what's up?

You feeling a little peckish? Takes an apple off his head. Oh. Thank you. Is this why you're starting to think about your shape-shifting and how it affects other people? Yeah, just eating all the spirits. So elk, owl, and Ving roll a 2d6 plus wisdom. 11. Nine. Six. Six. Wonderful. So you got a nine? Yep. So you're eating as normal. Yeah. You find that it is not a big deal. Great. You would think the dust bowl would be a little harder to find food in. Yeah, but dust is, you know, doable.

So you're just eating dust. Yeah. Or as you're walking along in the canyons, you hear behind you suddenly a little and it's a carrot. Prickly pear, is that you? Yeah. A little like vegetable spirit runs around the corner like, Ving, Ving. Oh, like a screw in the Iron Giant. Yeah, exactly. Tumbles along the ground. Hey, buddy, here you go. Oh, thanks. Just in time. I don't know. What's that? Sorry. That's the voice you use when you talk to your spirit.

That's the only accent the spirits understand. That's your nurturing voice. The prickly pear just like runs up and into his mouth. Hey, hey, hey. Prickles off. The nature, you know, we've talked about how spirits act according to their nature and the nature of food is to be eaten. It's true. I know. You hear that food? It's grim. That's right. For any food that's listening, we're coming for you. I'm just doing this. I hope they know your food.

Okay, so Elk, you know, the way you think your innate ability to find the path is leading you through canyons. You stop at junctures and go, oh, I should turn this way. And then you lead people down another way. How do I know? You just feel it, man. Yeah. And you feel a little, how do you feel it? I feel like it's, if I look at two paths that I can possibly go down, I feel a warmth in the direction that I should go. So yeah, you feel a warmth down this path, a warmth down that path.

Owl, you're up above. Yeah, everything looks good up here. I don't, I don't see any, there's nothing. You guys were good. What distracts Owl away from keeping an eye out for threats? Well, there's a lot. You're flying around just the scenery in general. Just looks, whoa, whales. Look at the whales today, guys. Now everything's fine and up ahead. Wait, there's whales? Sky whales, remember? We talked about sky whales. There's sky whales? They still throw me off. There's whales in the sky.

I'm allowed to be alarmed by this. I've never seen this before. What's Polar Bear doing during all this? He's saying, uh, uh, looks good also, but he's just looking at the ground like right in front of him. He's more saying it to himself to, I guess, boost his confidence and bring some calm and peace into his soul. Wow. That's beautiful. Thanks. And as you're all bringing calm and peace into your soul, you turn around a corner in the path, like around a craggy part of this canyon wall.

Before you, you see a pretty, startling sight. There is a large spirit, a boar, quite tall, maybe up to Ving's shoulder, like at his head. It's a big old, big old boar boy. The spirit of boar is being accosted by a large swarm of wasps. Oh no. And, uh, boar is snorting and stamping and getting stung and swarmed all over and just trying to buck these wasps off, but they are incorrigible. What do you do? Get out of here, boar. Leave those wasps alone. No. Are we saving the wrong person? Okay. Ow!

He's also got a voice. Do the wasps notice us? Uh, not immediately. Can I go in swinging? I mean, yeah, you can just go nuts. Let's get these wasps. Let's save this boar. Ew. Yeah. I'm gonna disguise myself. What? Well, I gotta blend in, so I roll around. Okay. So Polar Raider starts rolling around in the dust? Yeah. That's the first, all right. What's the goal here? To become brown like the rest of the zone, so the wasps don't see me coming. All right. I'll allow this.

I feel like this is very similar to something I've done before. Polar bears are all about camouflage. Yeah. There's no snow. You gotta find a new way. Do I have to roll first? Yeah. Let's defy danger wisdom. Okay. Well, five. Five. That is a failure. So as you turn the corner, you see boar getting attacked by wasps, and Polar Bear's immediate thought is, I know, and starts rolling, and starts running around in the dirt, and starts kicking up a cloud of dust.

The dust starts to float over to the wasp swarm, and they are tipped off, and they turn right around, and a big chunk of them splits off, and starts swarming Polar Bear, stinging and biting, getting all in your fur. Big jumps in, and windmills his staff. Okay, yeah. That could be a defend roll. We've never, we don't, we've almost never used defend. We've literally never used defend. And it's a pretty cool move. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like Polar Bear, you get stung a bunch.

You feel all these little spirit wasps biting into your fur. But Ving jumps in with the defend move. So defend, when you stand in defense of a person, item, or location, roll plus constitution. On a 10 plus, hold three. On a seven to nine, hold one. Seven. Seven. So you get to hold one. And so at any time, while you're defending that thing, so in this case, Polar Bear, you can choose to spend hold one for one for these options.

You can redirect an attack from the side, the thing you defend to yourself, have the attacks affect or damage, open up the attacker or ally, giving that ally a plus one forward against the attacker or deal damage equal to your level. I think, yeah, he's going to go for damage. Okay, great. So it is equal to your level and your current level is four. Four. Four. Yeah.

So yeah, so that's four damage to these spirits, which for a spirit, it's quite a lot because you're like, like we've talked about, you're a physical force. You're not like other spirits. So you get in there with your staff, spear, whatever it ends up actually being at any one time. Psych staff. Sex staff? Psych. Like, like a mind staff, spirit staff. Oh. Yeah. P-S. Gotcha. All right. No, I'm on board. He wheels, wheels in a windmill, sort of like a sex staff.

He gets in a windmill, is a sex staff. What do you think I was talking about? Ah, you know. And so you, I was peeing with, yes. Go on. The way you twirl your penis in front of me. Yeah, when you're trying to get wasps out of there. They're attacking your polar bear. You gotta do something. Who hasn't been in this position before? D&D's all about learning how to solve problems that you encounter in the real world. Yeah. In the game, you only do four damage, though. Yeah, exactly.

Instead of destroying the entire wasp. 69 damage. Yeah. So Ving starts going nuts on this swarm of wasps and, uh… Guys. Air quotes. So Ving starts going crazy on this swarm. On this swarm. Just going to town. Can we play crazy on you at this point? Yeah, give it. Yep. Sorry. You swing your staff into this swarm of wasps. Never done this before. And, uh… You swing your staff into this swarm of wasps. And, uh… You start… We gotta get through this description. Close your eyes, polar bear!

You don't want to see what's about to happen. Okay. All right. Whatever it takes. Okay. Everybody cool? With whatever meat saying next potentially sounding like a sex name? Uh, oops. So Ving fucks this swarm of wasps. All right. All right. Up. Up. Okay. So you attack this swarm of wasps and you're just batting huge, like, clumps of them. You know, like, when you see, like, a person wearing, like, a beard of bees? Yeah.

And they've just, like, you can just grab a handful of bees and pull them off? Oh, yeah. It's like that. You're just whacking them off. Sean, a little professionalism, please. This man's time is not free. You understand that kids listen to this show, right? Yeah. I'm starting to realize why it took us so long to record again. It's just a deep subconscious desire to not put myself in this position anymore. What position would that be, Sean? Oh. Okay. All right. Okay. Whacking.

You're attacking the wasps, knocking them off of Polar Bear. There are a few that are sticking around here and there that you can't get out of the fur, but overall, you're starting to… You basically, you smash a few. You just kind of indiscriminately whip your staff through this cloud of wasps and you see piles, piles of them just hitting the ground. Something about your physical body interacting with their spirit matter is just absolutely fucking them up. Oh my gosh. This is great knowledge.

Yeah. It's good to know, right? It's at this point that the Polar Bear, you feel the swarm lift off of you and you see this triumphant figure standing before you just spinning his staff around. Wow. Hair blowing in the wind. This is the druid. Oh my God. And meanwhile, owl and elk, boar is still getting stung to hell by the larger, the lion's share of this swarm of wasps. What do you do?

I'm going to do one of those bird lands on the ground and then whip my wings and try and get a big cloud of dust and wind and, you know, do it. Druids are really looking good. I'm going to try and try and show them up. Yeah. Are you trying to hurt them or are you just trying to try to some if I can hurt them fine, but if I can just get enough wind, like the ones that you've knocked off in chunks and the ones that might still be on there, just disorient them.

Any of the ones that are flying around, just push them back away to get a little bit of relief. I mean, this is probably also a defend move because you're defending boar. So yeah, give me a 2d6 plus. I mean, it is constitution, which I don't imagine is a bird's highest stat. Zero. Yeah. All right. Give me that 2d6 plus zero. Seven. Hey, you still get one. So yeah, you can choose one of these options. Redirect an attack from the thing you defend to yourself. Have the attacks affect or damage.

Open up the attacker, giving that ally a plus one. Deal damage to the attacker equal to your level. What was the second option? Sorry. Have the attacks affect or damage. H-A-L-V-E. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Option B, please. Yeah, great. So you start whipping your wings, blowing up a big cloud of dust and air, and you buffet this big swarm of wasps. A big chunk of them can't hold up to the wind. No, they can't. Yeah, they can't. They can't stand before the air. They can't stand before the owl.

And they blow off a little bit further into the canyon. Boar isn't out of the woods yet, but now they've got enough room to move around and they start hurrying over to your side. Still getting bit and stung, but safer than they were a few minutes ago. Elk, you see all this happen from the sidelines. What's Elk's plan? I'm inspired by Fang and how cool he looks. So I'm gonna like, I'm gonna trot up a little rise and I'm gonna rear up on two legs and do like an elk scream.

Have you heard what an elk sounds like? They're like, scream like a dying person, right? Yeah, they do. Yeah. So I back up off the mic and give us one of those. Okay. I said, back off. You got so close. Your beard was like touching my lips right on here and then I'll scream. Okay. And I blow morning steam out of my nose and I stay standing up on two legs with my like front legs just in front of me and I look down at the swarm and I'm like, leave. What's your what's your plan here?

Just to scare them away. You're trying to scare them. Okay. I don't know what else I can do. I know that's funny. That's pretty funny. That I mean, I want to, I want to just say that that wouldn't work, but I also want to honor this decision. So if you want to try, so how, how intimidation is often at least based on the fact that the fighter is able to take a move called intimidate that augments parlay to being like, you can always just promise to hurt somebody if they don't listen to you.

Or is that basically what elk is offering wasp the choice like leave or we're going to destroy you? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Give me a 2d6 plus charisma. Okay. Seven, seven. So you offer the choice leave or we'll destroy you and on a seven to nine with a parlay, they will do what you ask, but need some concrete assurance of your promise right now.

And what that means is they take that as a threat and as a challenge and all of the wasps in this area just ball up into a big swarm and come straight at elk. Okay. He runs. Yeah. And just books it. Yeah, but he's on two legs. He's way slower than he would be slipping. He's here. And I do the scream again, but it doesn't sound as majestic because you're trying to stick. All right. Give me a defy danger. See, give me a defy danger dexterity. Hey, so you are running on your hind legs.

I like that being around thing is making want to be more human. Well, that's what happened with the rocks when we were hanging out. Yeah, that's true. Being around people makes spirits want to be like people. Spirits are so dumb. They shouldn't want to be like us. This cloud of wasps. Are they in the form of like a fist or a big hammer or a hammer? Or an arrow? Funny you should ask the big swarm takes the form of a hand and snaps a couple times and waves the other swarm over.

And then they they turn over onto their index and middle finger and start running like the hamburger helper glove. That's not what I thought it would be. That's perfect. No, they fly. They fly. No, sorry. They're running on legs. Like the hamburger helper glove.

So, yeah, Ving, polar bear, owl, you see elk sprint off and all the wasps all the wasps that were in this area nice take off owl and polar bear, you know, from your experiences with wasp, but this isn't all of them by a long shot, but this is a sizable chunk and elk. You're committing to the hind legs thing. Yeah, I guess I already did. Okay, so you're running on your hind legs and you realize that running on your hind legs is really hard when you're a quadruped. Mm-hmm.

Designed to run horizontally as opposed to vertically and you hit a rock and you like go down on both of your knees, your back knees because you have four, not two. Uh-huh. And you skid on the ground and before you're able to get I skid my knees. Oh, geez, it hurts so much. But he's secretly proud and like, I scraped my knees. I did it. Like a man. And before you are able to get back up and keep running the front, part of the wasps catch up and they start stinging you and you take one damage.

So remember now you're supposed to take minus one because like your spiritual essence is being leeched away so you're less good at things basically. It's harder for you to operate. Okay. When you take enough damage. Okay. And yeah, what's your long-term plan here? Um, so I get up and I, uh, I give him a a good old one too. You're fighting them now? Is there any other option? Ooh, can I come barge in? Yeah, please. Yeah, totally. Yeah, that works.

So when you see elk run off, polar bear is just like, I'm coming. I'm coming, my brother. He's slow at first. Takes him a sec to rev up, but he's, he charges. Awesome. And the wind is very majestic in his fur and he feels pretty cool because he's like, I'm going to be a hero. When you said the wind is very majestic, I imagined him with long hair on his head. Like Fabio? He also imagined himself with long hair. The dust blows out and he's like, that's what I meant.

The blonde, the blue leaves and he's back to white. Oh yeah. It just slowly flows out and turns from golden to white. Leaving a cloud of dust behind you like a drag racer. It's truly beautiful. That's sweet. So I RuPaul myself through. So fierce. So fierce. I sashay away. To save, to save elk. To save the day. So proud of her run. Okay, give me a, give me a 2d6 plus. I'm going to use strength. I'm going to use strength. I mean, yeah, strength to like get there on pure speed alone.

From my thighs. Yeah. Your thighs. Ooh, okay. Hold on. 11. Oh, sweet. Yeah. Yeah. So that is just a success. So we'll say that this is happening. Like elk, you don't know that polar bear is taken off almost immediately and took the time to kind of rev up and you hit the ground and the wasps sting you and you get up and you square up with your hooves in front of you like an old timey boxer. And you're like, okay, it's come to this. This is it. This is when I finally. Bam. And I eat.

Well, I smashed through the fist or whatever. And into me. And of the bees, of the wasps. And I eat some. Okay. Give me a hack and slash. Okay. So 2d6 plus your strength. Wow. I'm so powerful. 14. It's off the scale. I ate so many. Yeah. Oh, you're just eating wasps. Well, I just took, I just took the biggest bite and also inhaled. So they're like, Phil, I'm just getting super full of wasps and I can handle it. And then I crash into.

Oh, you just open your mouth and run into this form like, oh, and then. All right. You swallow a bunch of wasps. Oh, what happens when a spirit consumes another spirit? Probably not something helpful. Or maybe, we get stripes. I don't know why I said it like that. Let's just get collaborative for a second guys. Yeah.

So what, what we were talking about just now, Wes was off mic for it was, um, the consumption of a spirit by a spirit has no effect in the spirit world, but in the real world, it has very strange and long lasting consequences. So in the physical world, these two animals basically became one leading to the spontaneous arrival of like polar bees because bees are small. And when you're in a, when wasps are small and easy to consume by other spirits. So it probably happens a lot.

Like fires probably consumed some more. They're so cute. They're white and fuzzy. They are. And they have fur. And they have little black noses and they like to help people. Their honey comes out like in crystals, like crystallized honey. They eat seals. Guys, is it? They try real hard. There's shores in the frozen North where there's just swarms of polar bees eating seals on the beach. Yeah. And, yeah, like you said, explains the fire bees and it also explains the bumble slave. Oh, yeah.

Bumble snake. All the different stupid bees. The bumble snake, the water bees. Those still might be fish. Isn't it? I mean, I like bees a lot, but we sure have a lot of bees in our game. Yeah. The wasps should be. Finally, we know why. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Now we know why because bees get eaten a lot in the spirit world. I think maybe we're doing this because in our own world, bees are dying at such a rate that we don't know why. Yeah. We don't know why. Yeah.

That in our fantasy world, we want there to be more than enough bees for everybody. Let's call them instinction. Nice. Yeah. Polar bear has effectively chased off this chunk of bees with a resounding success, consuming some, having effects unknown to polar bear in the real world, and then completely just barrels into elk. So there's just a huge pile. Sorry. That's okay. And I take a hoof and I'm like, I put it down his face. That's okay. That's all covered in bee stings. Under the fur.

So the fur is just sticking up a lot. Owl and Ving, you're back in this little canyon with boar. And after all the wasps leave, boar is on their knees and just breathing heavily and snuffling around and just looks up and is like, oh, hurts a lot. Can Ving just do like a tuck style because he's trying to impress tuck always, even though tuck's not there and be like, with like a little bit of a tuck style.

Like a movie saying, because he just killed a bunch of, of like, did someone just open a window? Because it got a whole lot less swarm in here. Sorry. He just cuts boar off. Yeah, yeah. Boar's like, what? What do you think? I am very thankful for you. Know of my phrase. What do you think? Oh, I have very little frame of reference for it. Hmm. Is that a window joke? Window. I don't know them. We got a real dumb boar on our hands, guys. I knew it. Boar gets up on all fours. It's like, oh.

Anyway, thanks a lot for helping me out back there. I was having a lot of trouble. Yeah, no problem. It's my pleasure. Just wandered in here rooting around, just looking for whatever like I do. And man, wasp is real ornery. How'd you get here? Like I said, I was just looking for something to eat. I was just looking for something to eat. And just looking for the good stuff, you know, trying to dig up some nice things. Rooting around. Rooting around.

And that's, you know that that is, that's boar's nature is to root around, looking for valuable things, basically like food or whatever. Boar has a tendency to dig up a lot of shit and gets them into trouble more often than not because they just can't stop snuffling around. Tell me about it. This little boar is just getting into trouble. Getting into truffle. Hey, getting into truffle. Pretty good. That's the name of the podcast. It's fun getting into truffle. Spinoff podcast.

It's like a cooking podcast. Yeah, it is. Hmm. This one also tastes truffly. All right. So yeah, boar's like, no, I was just rooting around per usual. I hear that. And he high fives him. He tries to return it. So what do we do now? We got to find a way out of here. I guess we got to see if we can get our friends back. Oh, we're just walking back together. Hey guys. We're holding hands. Yeah. Yeah. What happened to the wasps? A bear killed them. He ate them. You ate them. Yeah. Yeah.

Also, we're in love now. And then I lift our hands. For now, for now. Yeah. Oh, okay. And I, we're both walking on two legs. Guys, what is happening? I'm going to look at Ving and say, I don't think that really. I love. Do you support this? Polar bear is kind of up for most things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. God damn it. Bore's like, wow, thanks a lot. Thanks again for saving me.

And you see them looking at Elkin polar bear on the hind legs. And you see bore kind of like hop up a couple of times, but then land back down and just like, Hey, don't just anyway, be, be you boy. Yeah, no, I'm just, oh yeah, no, boys just doing board. Don't, don't you worry. No, no, no, I got it. I got it. It's not totally cool. Wait, are you homophobic? What? What's not cool? No, you're turning into people. So people, I guess technically, sorry, I'm just confused. I guess.

Yeah, that is technically what that means. We all got real quiet. Oh, wait, Mark's a homophobe. Only when it's animals turning into people and on microphone. Oh boy. We got to get to the wind. We need to find this. Do you, have you ever heard, have you ever heard of the scoundrel bore? Have you ever heard of the smuggler smuggler? He's a real scoundrel. Yeah. Some people know him as a ghost pirate. Uh, nope. Don't doesn't ring any bells. Sorry. Sorry, folks.

What about the wind, the wind sailor, the wind pirate? No, I feel like the wind bandit. Have you seen a wind bandit? Uh, not that I, uh, no, I, what's the coolest thing you found this month? Coolest thing I found this month. Oh, I'm glad you asked. Uh, so, so bore, uh, snuffles around a little bit is like, you want to see the coolest thing I found lately? Check it out. Yeah. You're like, Oh, and, uh, it like just opens its mouth and this chunk of wood and metal just slides out. Oh geez.

Hits the dirt. And it is, um, it picks it up immediately. Yeah. It is a little burnished brass and wood magnifying glass. Oh, where did you find this? I was just digging around in the dirt outside and, uh, it just, it was just right there. You know what it tastes like? It's tasted like a childhood memory.

I will remind from the last session when our heroes three and Perel were floating through wasps domain in the actual hive, there were human bodies and piles of equipment and items and stuff like that. Just kind of strewn about, but Boris kind of like, uh, well, uh, could I, uh, get that back? Do you mind if I hang it onto it? I'll carry it. You don't have to hang it onto it. You just think of what else you could fit in there without this in there. I don't know. It's still yours.

You're going to have to make a roll. Boris greedy. Do you want to make a trade? Oh, what are you offering? I just dropped a handful of reindeer moss on the ground. Well, I mean, what kind of kicks it closer to him is what you're getting pal. Boris like, I don't know that magnifier glass. It's pretty cool. You don't have to, you don't have to make me a, an offer. Hmm. What do you got? I've got a friendship companionship. I've got, um, you know what? Why don't I hang onto this?

You take us to the field of where you found it and I'll help you look for more things. That's not a terrible, I mean, unless you got me Mooney. Mooney. I'm sorry. I don't understand your accent. A little bit of Mooney. A little bit of the, a little bit of the dough. Ray me. If you know what he's talking about, he's an elk. Some, some, some corns. I think you know what I'm talking about. I've got bunions. Is that what I was talking about?

If, if, if bunions are small and circular and clink, clink around when you folks come tramp through here. Kind of. I think we could maybe make a deal if you got a little bit of corns on you. Oh, money. Money. Yeah. Money. You like money. Oh, capital M money. Yeah. I love money. Hmm. I only found it. I've got a couple of times, but boy, when I do, oh, it's just a, that's a good time. What would you let this thing go for? I got two coin. I'll give you one of those coin. Two coin. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, they're all, they're all wooden. You've got these two wooden coins. No, no metal, metal. Never heard of them. Never touched a stuff. Wood coins, cheapest chips. Okay. Roll a roll of parlay parlay. 11 plus my charisma. Yeah. That's not, that's not bad. Um, well, damn. Yeah. So bore is like, what's in between his fingers and clacks him on his knee. Like a spoon. I start like, kind of like dancing around to it. I'm like, Oh, Oh, look at that beat. And I'm looking at poor.

I'm like, Oh, this beat. You guys are an owl in polar bear. You were watching elk convulse in a way that you have never witnessed before. Polar bear is going to do it too. I don't really like what's happening. Hey, come on, get into it. Yeah. It's a good beat. And I opened my eyes. I'm like, do it. It's a great beat. Fucking dance, man. Oh yeah. And then the owl just starts kind of clawing at the dirt a little bit. Kind of just doing a little weird bird hop thing. He's like, Whoa. Okay. Yeah.

Spectacular. Okay. And then we'll just settle down a little bit. Bore does the same little like hop thing. Bring in its front, front hooves up in the air. Yeah. And then we chant. We're like, yeah, bore, bore, bore, bore, bore, bore, bore, bore, You hear that buddy? That's for you, pal. All right. All right. All right. All right. Spins the wooden coins on his tusk. Fidget spinner. All right. All right. Fine. Fine. Fine. You know what?

If you, if you don't got metal, I'm not one to turn down any moonies. You pop those in here, buddy. And he opens up his mouth. Nope. I'm going to take these back to the herd. Oh, they are just going to lose their minds. You hold onto that thing, man. No problem. If you ever want to use it, let me know. The number of, the number of times we have chanted in this podcast is insane. Insane. Insane. Insane. Insane. Insane. Insane. Insane. To be clear, those were the hot dog festival coins? Yeah.

Is that the? Yeah. Yeah. He still had those tokens. Good. At least they came in handy for something. And then he goes, wait, those were the hot dog festival? Shit. Just like patting his pouches. Wait, wait, wait. No, no, I had four of those. Oh, no. Cool. So, you know where we can get some more stuff like this? Oh, yeah, totally. Can we go there now? Yeah. Oh, we can go there now if you want to go. Yeah, greedy owl is getting into it. We could all get some stuff. It sounds like it'd be cool.

And then maybe on the way we can maybe get some ideas about how to find your pirate. If these, this looks like it came from the human world. It doesn't look like it's from here. I know. Wherever you got this, we could probably, there might be a way back for him. Take us to where you found this. Oh, I never, ever thought about that. Yeah, let's, let's go. Yeah.

So, Boar leads you off to, um, leads you through some canyons and is talking about like, oh, yeah, when I came this way, wasp never used to bother me. I don't know what it is, but yeah, they're, they're getting real aggressive lately. I wasn't even really doing anything. Just kind of snuffling around like I do, you know, and, uh, got all, got all uppity about it.

And, uh, Boar takes you through some twisty turny bits and, uh, comes to like, what looks like a dead end in, uh, in a canyon, like the two walls just close at the, at the other end. There's sort of weird piles of debris and Ving. You see some things that might look human made, like physical items here and there. So you, you guys are free to just dig around a little bit. Do you guys just dig around in the piles? Can I do a trap? Look for a trap. This would be like a discern realities. Yeah.

Yeah. So give me a, yeah. Plus wisdom nine, nine. So that means that you get one question off the discern, realities list, which is what happened here recently. What is about to happen? What should I be on the lookout for? What here is useful or valuable to me? Who's really in control here? What here is not what it appears to be. What should I be on the lookout for? Boar immediately is just digging around in piles of stuff like dirt and rocks and pulling up old clumps of dead grass.

You start poking around in a pile of rocks and sticks. You sort of poke it with your staff and some chunks fall off and you see what looks like some cloth or leather or something like that. You know, Oh yeah, this must be what he's talking about. And you brush some dirt away and some, some rocks and you brush your hand down this one clump of debris. And as you clear the debris in front of you, it reveals a human face. Oh, that looks like you. Thanks for listening to spell Laura, everybody.

I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara with me as always players of dual. I skin my knees, Jessica. So I Ru Paul myself, Paul. We got a real dumb bore on our hands guys. And Mark. No, I don't really like what's happening. Thanks to, uh, our technical producer, Wes Lord back in the saddle again. I want to be a cowboy, baby, double guns. And thanks to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. Thank you to Mark and MP for letting us be in their house again and for buying us pizza.

And, uh, yeah, you've been listening to Spout Lore. See you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures. Three who tried the best. They can dumb and scared and lost. Maybe for times of breast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you come you or do your chores. And for you, I gladly. Spelt. No.

It's a new theme song today on this episode of the spell lord last time on spell lord if I see that guy again I swear to god I'm gonna kill him you can't kill him he's your brother yeah well there's and then I'm gonna find that motherfucker I'm gonna blow his ass up uh you tell that guy that this town this part of town is my part of town spell lord is filmed a lot before a live studio audience gather round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deep their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tuck is the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight fingers half healthy shifts his shape and wields a spear with great mind billy's a thief his tiny size does max the largest heart best and brightest they may not be but their friendship outweighs their smarts so gather round friends and listen close for the tale's about to start welcome back to spell or everybody I'm your game master Sean O'Hara and I'm sorry that our show is not as cool as the show that I just pitched you with that last time on spell or segment there are 100 fewer motorcycles when last we left our hero ving vang zumba the half-elf druid he found himself stranded in the spirit realm with nary a friend in sight besides three friendly sarcastic dopey pushover spirits in the form of elk hey everybody played by abdulaziz polar bear played by jessica tie and owl great news we're back played by mark robertson when they found each other being the representations of the spirits that ving most often took the form of they talked through how they could help ving get back to the material plane and they determined that wind would be the spirit to talk to because wind might know of a mysterious individual called alternatively the ghost pirate or the sailor or whatever who appears to be a person that can travel between the spirit realm and the material plane seemingly at will so they traveled up mountain and had a great time getting shit talked by the spirit of avalanche they met eagle because ving had a mishap yeah with shape-shifting and after eagle was released from the gross halfway transformation that they shared with ving they said that eagles would no longer answer ving's call it's a real shame it's a real shame they made it up over mountain got a good beautiful look at the vistas of the spirit realm and saw smoke in the grasslands where owl has said that wind is most often found with fire and they believe that that is where wind is now and as they came down the mountain they were met by wolf and the mishap and that is where we return to the action and coming off the heels of the failure that polar bear rolled last session you have wolf standing above you on a rock looking down saying oh hi polar bear nice to see you again oh yeah nice to see you too man looking it was a good how you just you just did I was being sarcastic yeah oh you were being sarcastic too yeah it wasn't that good we're both being sarcastic and I'm being sarcastic too yeah I'm being sarcastic too yeah I'm being sarcastic too sarcastic to each other then yeah well you know I am not happy to see you I am also not happy to see you either and then from far away I'm like hey are you guys still being sarcastic hey somebody go deal with elk polar bear we're not done yet and then uh they coil up they crouch down and they jump right on you and they lap they chomp right onto your neck hey rah you feel the teeth of wolf clamp into your flesh what do you do I stand up to my full height really fast oh yeah give me a 2d6 plus strength do they 13 13 yeah that's that is good yeah so polar bear just stands up on their hind legs yeah I'm like eight feet tall or something hell yeah hell yeah and do you just throw wolf off of you wolf sails off your neck and slams into the rock that they jumped off of and uh is starting to pick themselves up off the ground what do you do I'm going to like jump around and face him and I'm going to bound towards him you get the opportunity to attack because wolf is disoriented by being thrown so hard into that rock so give me a hack and slash which is also 2d6 plus strength you got a seven okay great so with the seven you you deal damage to your opponent but they also deal damage to you oh so you do take another point of view and you're going to be able to damage what do you do to wolf I what do polar bears do I take a huge swipe at his face so wolf is like picking themselves up off the ground and you just wham right in uh their snout and they uh smack back against the rock that they were laying against but another member of the pack jumps right on your back as you're doing that and uh starts raking at you on your back so you are injured and you do a bear do a bear sound I don't know how bears sound no that's exactly what they sound like when they get hurt and then they immediately second guess themselves yeah I think bears are probably very self-conscious and elk you have been running away you can get away ving you can get away with elk owl you are close enough that you could just leave but polar bear needs also I'm just gonna scream at wolf like what the shit boys just take this easy who's uh who's your friend your friend's here owls here guys I can hook you guys up oh okay you're gonna try and there are a couple wolves like snapping at polar bear and wolf is pissed off because they just got like slammed against this rock what are you offering guys look hungry guys like hungry guys still hungry last time remember last time I hooked you guys up with that salmon I jumped with salmon last time we're always hungry duck remember I brought duck in here duck was just walking around had no idea what was going on boom we remember remember a trifle I don't know if I can I don't know if trifle is I can get custard what is this custard I can get custard I can get that jam stuff that goes in the middle but the uh the whipped cream on the top is the tough part enough of your human foods you interact with them too often guys chicken chicken would be good chicken would be good yeah yeah we have eaten chicken before we would eat chicken again chicken better chance you're gonna eat chicken than polar bear the wolf that you're talking to starts salivating like you're gonna eat chicken you can see just saliva pouring out of their mouth and polar bear where you're like fighting you're kind of swiping keeping them back they all start salivating and they're both they're all just like chicken chicken I have an idea can I uh call upon the spirit of the chicken I don't care if I ever turn into a chicken again okay uh but first roll a parlay 2d6 plus charisma owl 9 11 11 all right so you need to give them a chicken and they will they're like if you deliver us chicken we will cease the attack but only when you deliver us chicken I don't know if I can really see chicken from up here and I look over to I look over to my new friend 2d6 plus wisdom six all right yeah great that is a failure um yeah mark a point of experience one ghost experience uh okay so okay so on the other hand I'm gonna give you a chicken and I'm gonna give you a chicken and I'm gonna give you a chicken and I'm gonna give you a chicken and I'm gonna give you a chicken failure you like you start you you're trying to do the thing you usually do the chicken dance contact yeah you're making a chicken you're doing a chicken dance and like a magnet you feel in a direction something pulling and the wolves are like chicken yeah we love chicken and there's just kind of silence but then you hear and through the trees and the rocks this chicken just comes tearing ass like thor's hammer it's in the air and it hits you dead center in the chest and uh elk you kind of turn your head and you see ving's arms and legs getting sucked into this chicken like a water balloon through a hole just like and uh then all of a sudden there is a chicken on your back and ving take me back take me back didn't he fail the roll though yeah which is why chicken is in control oh okay chicken's like what the and they see the chicken looks at wolf and goes and starts running down the side of the mountain just like wings flapping feathers floating around in the air and ving you're like just along watching the video yeah I'm being chicken milkovich here being chicken and the chicken is just gone and the wolves are like chicken and they all start tearing ass after chicken and I'm saying it's working just keep running chicken just keep running oh I guess I gotta run after chicken too it's just gone yeah so okay so polar bear you start you take off after chicken uh give me a 2d6 plus dexterity 12 okay there you go so um why is polar bear just wanting to save ving or is it like I don't want these wolf assholes to get what they want no I I have a feeling that ving is in chicken and I'm I gotta save that chicken yeah so you you just barrel through everybody and uh the wolves are pretty fast but this is like a barrel of chicken and I'm like I gotta save that chicken and I'm like I gotta save that chicken and I'm like I gotta save that chicken running when they do that weird gallop and it's just you're pounding down this mountain trail parting wolves as you run they're snapping at you you're just slapping them away and you're catching up to chicken okay elk owl what do you do oh oh no somebody saved that poor chicken elk what do you do I go okay so do you run after give him a thumbs up with my hoof like you can't but he knows they have like three part hoof so like one part of the hoof goes up I was like I'll do it and so you take off as well yeah 2d6 plus dexterity six seven eight okay so you are pounding down the mountain trail as well you're not getting as far ahead as uh polar bear is that's probably a good thing I don't want to be in a pack of wolves yeah good point good point ving what do you do you are inside chicken well I'm gonna try and uh um jump uh back to polar bear and get on polar bear because he's my best chance you're gonna try and take control of chicken I would like to yeah uh let's give me a can I reason with chicken I mean what do I need okay parlay with chicken chicken's just like run run run run you know what chicken runs a great movie I'm into it let's keep going chicken is is is moving so you're just gonna let chicken do do its thing well I mean yeah yeah it's just an unbroken litany of run run run run run run run run run uh polar bear you've you're in middle of a pack and you're just behind chicken what do you do uh chicken chicken uh I'm not I'm not here to eat you uh just uh I want my friend back can you just like hop on my back just like batting wolves out of the way chicken it's okay don't worry I'm not here to eat you I promise I know it sounds like I'm lying but I promise I had a pretty big lunch okay um 2d6 plus are you trying to parlay or is this just a defining yeah I'm trying to parlay okay so you're offering like safety yeah is it with charisma it is with charisma cool so 13 13 all right uh so wait 14 nice so chicken uh looks behind like with the sideways eye kind of turns back like and sees the wolf like a wolf snapping at it and it's like flapping its wings and then you get closer yeah so you scoop chicken up and chicken latches on yeah right onto the top of your head cool so now there's just a chicken on the top of your head wings going crazy in the air behind it and then tail feathers like can he lay an egg can we can we have a read yeah on the chicken laying an egg please and a egg pops out of its butt cloaca wait is that where eggs come from yeah it all comes out of the same thing right with a chicken you're looking at me like I know an egg's pussy you live on a farm oops uh an egg comes out of the chicken uh an egg comes out of the chicken and the wolves are like chicken snap snap snap snap snap but you're kind of getting ahead yeah um how's the terrain rocky downhill can I do something crazy yeah and I uh take a sharp right I assumed down downhill and do my polar bear like slip and slide down the mountain okay yeah try to get away yeah yeah yeah just trying to like juke and jive and get out of the way yeah yeah yeah that does it uh 2d6 plus dexterity seven seven so you're trying to like you're looking around trying to figure out a good way to get out of here and you see that the way ahead is a little bit treacherous down the mountain it might be pretty dangerous you might lose chicken you might hurt yourself but also to your left hand side you see the mouth of a cave that you know would be pretty easy to get into so you can either take your chances going down this like pretty steep and dangerous side of the mountain or you can head for the cave I'll take the mountain okay you're gonna really bang yourself out of the cave bang yourself up going down there and now you're gonna start taking a minus one okay because you feel the strength of your spirit start to ebb away a tiny bit as happens with all spirits they don't have physical bodies they're the rep well technically they don't they're the representations of beings and you're starting to feel your grip on that go away maybe you're becoming less polar bear maybe you're becoming more of this weird dopey person that that is uh expressed through polar bear who knows maybe that is maybe the death of all spirits is the the loss of their representation and the encroaching of humanity they become tame they become tame they become less wild they become less themselves oh man man some real spiritual shit uh and you also have a chicken on your head and it's going calm down uh an elk you're hauling ass down the side as you're running down you're like all right I'm coming guys and polar bear just goes over the side of the cliff all the wolves skid to a halt what do you do I I I stop like before you do that I'm like I'm gonna go for the wolves and I'm like uh what are the chances that you guys kind of just like let me go around the easy way the wolves turn around go no chicken and they look at each other and they say elk maybe and they look back at you what do you do I just go fuck me and they all start running and I uh I put my antlers down and charge hell yeah that's tight okay uh 2d6 me are you trying to um fuck them up or are you trying to just get through I'm charging through to get to the to the edge of the cliff okay do you think that would be a strength or like a constitution are you trying to do damage are you trying to just make it through I no I don't want to do it's not in my nature to want to do damage it is in my nature to want to get away right okay so that would be a 2d6 plus constitution okay eight plus 11 11 plus 11 my god I rolled 11 I rolled an 11 and an 8 incredible uh yeah so that's an 11 so that is an unmitigated success you are going to take one spiritual damage as a wolf snaps at your leg hell but your antlers just plow through this pack knocking them aside sorry and they're just like and uh you come to the edge of the cliff and I jump and I turn around as I jump like slow-mo like I jump over the edge of the cliff and it's like and you can see like the sun glinting off my antlers and I like do a twist in the air and I look back at the wolves and I give them like a double like double middle fingers as I like fall backwards and I'm like I'll fuck your mother so when you and then I do the peace sign I'm like elk forever when when you do the jump like when you're when the sun is glinting off your antlers the sun is like nice and then and then you then the sun hears you say I'll fuck your mothers and goes weak and the eagles in the background no no uh and so you jump no wait you jump and then you do the peace sign and I'm like elk forever eagle flies behind me as I yeah makes it look so fucking majestic yeah and then makes a crappy noise fucks it up I already fucked your mother eagle soars behind you and is like I look beautiful oh an audience yes case upon the splendor of eagle it's always all about eagle I'm sad that your eagle's a spirit that we're never gonna see again cause doing that voice is a lot of fun he I don't think he can he will ever not show up he's gonna come back he's gonna come through to the material plane so he can keep having people look at him I didn't mean ever ever I just meant when I chose not to great so uh one issue is that you decided to jump and instead of keeping your feet facing the ground where you would land safely you turned around and uh stuck up your middle finger, which you do not have.

Yeah, but they got it. And so you're just like, I am so tight. I am the dopest spirit living. And then wham! I just start rolling. Ragdoll. Yeah, ragdoll limbs all over. Ow! Ow! Oh! Oh, fuck! So take a point of damage as you just slam into the side of the mountain and start rolling. And Polar Bear, you're like, you've shaken it off. You're running and chicken's like, mark! And then you see elk just roll by you. Dude! What are you doing? It looked sick! It wasn't worth it! And Owl, you're fine.

You're flying. Did you see that? Oh, hey, we made it, guys. We all made it. We made it through together. We're all safe. Everything's great. And by the way, you're welcome. And you hear Wolf, you hear the pack in the distance take up a howl. What did the pack think of the whole move? They were furious. They're like, I cannot believe, one, that chicken got away. And two, the elk thought that he got one over on us somehow. That was the dumbest thing we've ever seen.

And now we have to sit here and watch Eagle do Shakespeare. But the worst part is that elk thinks that that's a win for them. That we lost and they won. He might be dead. Yeah, and now Eagle's here. And Eagle's just like, oh, hello. Have you seen my plumage? It's particularly brilliant this time. There's 200 of them at the edge of this cliff. Good evening, everyone. Thank you for coming. And now I will tell you the story of how I bested trout.

I soared through the skies, magnificent as ever, my wings strong, my plumage straight and white. That was the style of the time. Ever on the forefront of fashion, as I am, my beak sharp, razor sharp. Man, I almost wish that I could just get… There's going to be a person in the material world that has been possessed by the spirit of Eagle. And they're going to be such a piece of shit. How dare you not recognize me? Desire. Edward the ski jumper. So you all make it to an air…

No, that was a really good joke. Eddie the Eagle reference? Yeah, that was great. He was a skier. Whatever. Mark, don't play dumb. Mark, fuck you. So you all make it to an area of relative safety. Ving, the chicken body that you are in, they've calmed down. Chicken has relaxed a little bit. I can talk to chicken. I'm a spirit talker. Totally. Just like, what do you need? And chicken's like, I don't like this either. I don't like having you in here. This is very uncomfortable for me.

Okay, well, I don't know how it works on this side. The Eagle just left when he had… Oh, I got whacked. Polar bear! Um… Yeah, so they're like, you can't hear you. You're inside my body. Polar bear. Polar bear. Wait, wait, wait. Polar bear. Shut up. Hey, polar bear. Oh, yeah? The guy inside me is saying that if I want to be free, and if he wants to be free, you have to… Hit me really hard. Hit me really hard? I smack him. Okay. But not as hard. Yeah, give me… Okay, yeah. Defy…

Defy danger strength. Eight. Eight, okay. So you… Just clamp your paw down on Chicken's tail feathers and just bring back a paw and whap him. This hurts me more than it hurts you. And then you come shooting out of Chicken's body. Where? Which part of the body do I come shooting out of? Just like Chicken's beak opens. Oh, he's going to lay me. Can he lay me? Okay. So Chicken's like… And just pops up off the ground. Ving has like a chicken on his head. Oh, yeah. I had to pull him around.

And so since it was a seven to nine result, Ving, you left something in there. Oh. What did not come out of Chicken with you? My bus pass. Damn it. Ah, crap. Okay, you actually… It's the 30th though, right? Yeah, you would have had to get a new one anyways. So what did you leave behind? I don't know. I lost my crocodile's teeth. Okay. So Chicken hits the ground and is like… And gets up and fluffs up its feathers.

And you see, all of you, that Chicken is now sporting a row of razor sharp teeth. Oh. Like chomps its beak a couple times. And it's like… Does that mean that chickens in the real world now have crocodile's teeth? Because this is… Oh, God. That's… This is probably… I mean, it looks cool. It actually looks very, very, very cool. But this can't stay like this. And Chicken's like… And runs off into the… Well… Starts running away.

Fingers crossed that there's no negative repercussions of that. Yeah, and Chicken's gone. And you're all safe. And you are pretty close to the base of Mountain now. Okay. I'm going to throw Ving on my back and be like, no more of this. This was demeaning. And you all… You keep heading down Mountain. Are we getting close to the edge of the plane? You are. You absolutely are. So it is a relatively quiet journey. Night falls. And then a little bit later, the sun rises.

Because moon left and sun arrived. And then it gets dark again for a little bit. And then sun… And they're kind of having a little back and forth thing where they're having a little… They're having a good time up above. Yeah. They're being very physically affectionate with one another. You see… Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's a lot like PDA. I'm not into that kind of stuff. Then there's an eclipse. Ugh. God damn it. Look away. You can't look directly at it. You'll go blind. So, yeah, that was great.

That was great. That was you. You did that. Huh? The eclipse. That's the anal of celestial events. Whoa. Nobody else at this table was thinking that. When Elk said anal, Ving started making one of those little boxes that you can look at the eclipse with. As fast as he can. Now, I heard you'll go blind. That's what I heard. I… Uh… So, you descend the rest of the way down the base of mountain. And…

Ving, this is another experience where you see how quickly the environment shifts in the spirit world. You walk and you get to the edge of a grassland. The grass is about waist high. It's pretty tall in the plains. And you start walking through the grass. And then you look back. And you are way deeper into the plains than you would have expected. Like, you've only been walking for a little bit. And you're so far into this grassland.

And the three of you, Elk, Owl, and Polar Bear, is this a place that you have spent a lot of time, the three of you? I imagine that you've been here before. It seems like you're pretty wide-ranging spirits. I've been here, but I don't like to come here very often. Why is that? Well, I don't like leaving the snow. What is a threat in the grassland that Polar Bear has encountered before? Snake. Oh, snake.

Yeah, snake makes their home in the grassland because there's a lot of area for them to roam and hunt. And they can stay out of sight pretty easily. You see off in the distance, you see smoke pluming up from… The horizon of the grasslands. And you see fire start to lick up from this one area. And you hear wind rushing and howling. You see the smoke blowing around and billowing all over the place. And you know that if you want to talk to wind, that is the direction that you should go in.

Like, we have to talk to wind, right? I think we want to… We want to talk to wind. We're not too… I mean, wind is there. Fire, if we can stay away from fire and not have to deal with fire and not have to… Yeah, you're… Owl, you're really good at, like… You know wind. You know how to, like, get things out of people. Yeah. Do you have anything on wind? Fire will always pull wind along with it. Wind will always push fire.

When they're together, they just aid each other, work each other up. So you need some way to separate them. We're on the grass, burning the grass. We can push them somehow, push fire, push wind towards the margin of the grass. And we can get to the edge and separate the wind. And catch the wind as the wind passes on to its next location. When it's distracted from the fire, when it's separated from the fire, when they stop working together, then we can deal with wind.

But until he's working with fire and they're working together, there's not really much we can do. So we have to lure the fire to the edge of the plains? Yeah, that makes sense. Great. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. So what is your plan for luring fire? Fire likes to burn the things that are easy to burn. Sometimes the things that are a little harder to burn. Sometimes the things are a little more fun to burn. So right now, grass, big tall grass, that's easy. That's fun.

Something that's a little more interesting, a little more challenging, a little more rewarding to burn. We could tease them, tease fire with that. That might be something. Are you allowed to use the character's nature to hunt? Like I'm a hunter. So can I hunt what I wouldn't usually? But like if I hunted wind, like if I chased wind to chase fire? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I think that that makes sense. Okay. Yeah. So 2d6 plus wisdom. Okay. And are you explaining your plan?

You're like, I'm just going to hunt them down. I'm going to hunt wind. And I have some input on that plan. Sure. Because I know the ways to go. Probably the best place to push fire would be the dust bowl. Like if we got fire and wind moving towards the dust bowl, and we got fire crossing over into dust bowl territory, fire would go out and it would just be wind. I was thinking a way that we could maybe hurt it because it's eating, it's feeding off the grass.

I was thinking a way that we could maybe hurt it because it's eating, it's feeding off the grass. The only thing I've ever seen control fire other than wind are things like you. You can pick fire. You can move pieces of fire. You can take a fire from one place and keep it and control it and then open it up in another place. It's the only thing, the only place I've ever seen that happen is things like you. I wish I had my bus pass. That was so dramatic for a second. Oh man. My bus. My bus pass.

I really missed that thing. But you know what? We don't know what a bus pass is, so we're like, wow. That's my bus pass. I wish you did have your bus pass. Owl, you're a genius. Can I grab the driest grass around me and wrap it around the tip of my spear? Okay. And start, hop off a polar bear and run towards fire. Okay. Polar bear, you're going to hunt down wind to sort of get the scent for that spirit. And Ving is going to try and distract fire.

And elk is going to, I guess, guide it to, like once the distraction is made, I'll pick up Ving and then we'll bolt for the dust bowl. Okay. And if I see anything going wrong with this plan at any point, I'll make sure to point it out. Excellent managerial skills. I really like it. So we'll start with. Real Colonel Dan. Wait, we got an admission statement? Everyone agree? You guys need a communications plan? Set some metrics? Yeah. How are we going to measure success? If we trap wind.

If we trap wind. That would be the measure of success. All right. All right. Put that. So the, uh, the mission statement is we will trap wind. Yes. And the measure of success. Yeah. The measure of success is wind is trapped. Wind is trapped. Okay. And a failure would be if we all burn in a fire. Yeah. Or I was going to say break wind, but yeah, that makes sense. More sense. This is great. I mean, I know it seems like we're wasting a little bit of time.

It seems like we're wasting time upfront, but this is really going to help us as we, uh, we're really just trying to kill time to get like to the one hour mark. Oh my God. Uh, okay. So we're going to start with polar bears hunting role. So two D six plus wisdom. So it's a six. Okay. That's fine. Uh, and then we'll, so we'll do things, uh, two D six, and then I'll just sort of, we'll talk about the whole thing. Uh, 11. Okay. And elk. Nine. Okay. So seven to nine, uh, success and a failure.

You're so polar bear is trying to hunt down wind. You're trying to catch the scent like, so to speak of the spirit of wind. And you're, um, moving slowly forward and running alternately. Like when you think it's safe and you've got an opening and you're all getting closer to this fire. That is fire is not enormous right now. Like it's just hungrily burning grass here and there, but it's still sort of subdued and wind is swirling around and, and egging fire on.

And, and polar bear gets close to wind. You feel like you've got like a jump on it. And you're like, all right, when he doesn't even see me, stupid wind, gotcha. And you jump out. And so what does polar bear do when you like get the jump on wind? Polar bear has been like stalking low in the grass. Cause he, he'd be seen either, um, like otherwise. And so he like, he pokes his nose out. He does, he does the thing polar bears shouldn't do. He poked his nose out to get a good whiff. Yeah.

And to say something. And then wind changed direction. Yeah. So wind, like, you got close enough to wind that wind realized that it was being hunted by you. And it was like, whoa. Whoa. Nice try, polar bear. You can't hunt the wind. And it starts, like, whipping around, like, away from you. And as it moves, it's like, you never catch wind. Nobody can ever catch wind. I'm free. Free like the wind. So stupid. And I go, bird. It's like, I'm so free. You can never catch me. Look.

And it's, like, it's whipping up more and more. Like, yeah, I'm so great. And as it does that, fire whips up with it. So fire starts getting bigger and bolder. And you hear fire going, consume. Consume. And it's burning up more and more grass. And the fire is spreading and getting larger. And then you run up, like, to the end. And you're on the edge of one of those conflagrations. And you just whip your spear through it. Yeah. And the grass starts burning. And you hop on the back of elk.

And what do you do? We start galloping towards the dust bowl. Yeah. With the spear in the grass. Oh, you're, like, leading it along a burn line, basically? Yeah. Sick. Yeah, yeah. Fucking sick. That looks pretty cool, you guys. Yeah, I call up to how I'm like, does this look cool? Way to hit those milestones, guys. Yes. And fire is. And fire. I'm, like, hauling at top speed. Yeah, yeah, totally. You did get a seven to nine, though. I'm hauling at medium speed. So, you can, you know that.

So, fire is burning at an angle as it follows you. And you know that if you keep going towards the dust bowl, it's going to burn you a bit. But if you turn away from where you want it to go, you would avoid harm. I'm, like, feeling emboldened. Like, that fall off the mountain. I was like, fuck yeah. Yeah, elk. I'm the fucking man. So, I'm going to, like, try and jump over the fire. Yeah. When it, like, cuts in. Uh-huh. I'm going to try and, like, leap over it. Okay. Like, fucking John Wick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, John Wick famously jumping over fires. Kind of his main thing. John Wick, chapter three, camp dead. Free John Wick. Oh, hell no. Hate those rabbits. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. For two hours. So, fire cuts in as you're making this burn line. And starts to swing around you in the plains. And you leap over it. So, yeah. Give me a defy danger. Dexterity. Seven. Seven. You get a little burn on your feet. And you take one. You just take one point.

As you jump over fire, like, grabs at your feet. Like, I'm going to consume you. But it was, like, a little arm of it. So, it wasn't very loud. No. And you singe it. And it burns you. And it just starts roaring behind you as it tries to follow you to the edge of the dust bowl. Owl, what are you doing? Well, first, wait. Did that jump look cool, Owl? It was probably one of the coolest. I mean, compared to the last jump where you fell on your back and almost killed yourself. Yeah.

It looked very, very, very cool. I mean, execution, completion, everything. I'll give it top scores. Sick. Spectacular. So, what's Owl doing while this is all happening? Judging. Judging. Judging. So, is… Is Polar Bear in any danger now? Funny you should ask. Polar Bear, you are in some kind of danger. Oh, no. Because fire is getting, like, is basically reacting to wind's more rambunctious movements and is reacting in kind and getting larger and burning.

So, the grass is starting to burn around you and starting to close in. What are you doing? Oh, no. I wrote down icebreaker earlier. What does that mean? Well, because, like, when he's hunting and he needs to break the ice, he can split things. Whoa. That's super dope. Yeah. So, Polar Bear would use that nature of, like, breaking through things to achieve goals to split the fire? Mm-hmm. Just to get out. In my mind, that is too dope to say no to. Yes.

He just, like, slams the ground with his big, meaty paws. Yeah. And the fire splits. That's so cool. So, 2d6 plus strength. Cool. Eight. Yeah. So, that's a seven to nine success. Shit. Woo. Cool. So, describe how Polar Bear does this. Give me the action replay. Well, he gets on his hind legs and then he comes down hard on his front paws and the shockwave splits fire for a moment just long enough for him to get free. Yeah. That's so cool. So, it's just boom.

And the fire breaks in front of you and Polar Bear zips through. As you're doing this, you're, like, taking advantage of your opening. You see that wind is starting to leave. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Seeing the way that the grass is blowing and the fire is moving, that wind is, like, I'm free. I go wherever I want. So, you need to do something if you want wind to stick around. What do you do?

I mean, owls have, so they've got some ability. I'm trying to think of some awesome move that sounds like Polar Bears. Oh, it sounds like Icebreaker? Yeah. Yeah. That's a cool name. Windraker. Oh. I was just going to say Leafraker. Leafraker would be a cool name for a thing. It would be. So, yeah, as an owl, they've got this sort of, what do they call it? Wings. No, they have this ability to, they have wings. They have this ability to hover.

They have this ground effect ability that they can sort of hover on this wave of this, this, like. Yeah, like a cushion of air sort of thing. A cushion of air. Yeah. But it's also this ability to, like, move large amounts of air and create something that's like a wind effect. So, I'm going to try and push with my temporary version of wind, try and push wind back. So that it's more contained. Sweet. Yeah, that sounds great.

So, give me a 2d6 plus, I guess probably strength because it's like the strength of your wings. Trying to blow it back. Yeah. 35. Five. Okay. So, you start flapping at wind like, no, go over here. And, in fact, wind is pretty incensed that you would even suggest. Wind is like, I give you the power to fly. You can't contain wind. No one contains wind. Wind is free. Okay. Okay. Sorry. Wind starts whipping around you. Oh. And just whips you right into the ground. Oh, shit. Just wham.

Right on the edge between the dust bowl and the planes. Like, she throws you out of the grasslands. So, you take a point of damage. And you see wind soar off into the spirit realm, off into the dust bowl, and up into the sky. Oh, dang. And, meanwhile, Elk and Ving, fire is raging now. Even without wind? Without wind, it's, like, angrier. It's just consuming everything. Because the fuel that it got from winds blowing, it now has to get from everything around it.

So, it's just burning up stuff here and there. It's burning everything that it can get. It's like getting hotter and hotter and hotter. Yeah, exactly. But you are at the edge of the dust bowl where there is much less for fire to burn. So, fire is remiss. It's not interested in going into the dust bowl, but burning up the rest of the planes. Polar Bear, you pound through the opening that you made. With your paws and Ving and Elk, you are in the dust bowl.

And fire is at the edge, sort of licking into the dust bowl, trying to burn things up. And the edge starts to blacken and crisp and crack. And the earth underneath is cracking and sundering. But fire can't get very far in. Fire is like, okay, I'll consume you next time. And continues to rage on the planes. And you're just staring at this wall of flame that can't do anything to you. But you are in the dust bowl. Welcome to the dust bowl, boys. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Welcome to the dust bowl.

We got some dust. We got some flames. So, Elk, you know. So, you all know that this is not the way that you would have liked to go. And now wind is gone. Polar Bear, you know that the dust bowl used to be a beautiful place. Used to be a tundra. Sorry, I was thinking like a lush place. But, of course, a tundra would be beautiful to Polar Bear. Used to be a beautiful place. Yeah, it was a tundra. You know who used to live here? Seal. Oh, my God. Fat, juicy Seal.

What was your favorite song by Seal? He was a good musician. What was your favorite song? Oh, it was. Kiss me. Beneath the milky twilight. Lead me. And move the sun moon. Drinking prayers. Six pence, none the richer. Yeah, Bing is like, that's a real song. Did Seal sing that in the spirit world? So, yeah, this used to be a tundra. Used to be a beautiful tundra with Rocky. As we walk through fields of gold. Used to be a beautiful tundra. And. You really happy with that? I like it. I like it.

It's a great song. Yeah, so this used to be a. Have less to raise. This is a great bit where we can't get through the rest of the episode because you keep singing. I'm sorry. Guys, let's turn this into a musical. All right, fine. Rest of the show is a musical. So. I didn't see that coming. I didn't know that was about to happen. I didn't see that coming. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. This used to be a beautiful place.

It used to be a tundra. Ice and snow and rocky shores as far as the eye can see. Sounds like home. Yeah. The ice went away. The snow went away. Even the ocean went away. And now it's just this. It's just dust. It's rocky canyons. What happened? Fire came. Fire came and burned it all up. Melted all the snow. One particularly rough day for fire. And it all went away. The snow and the ice just melted. Snow thought, forget this. I'm heading to cooler climbs. This isn't worth it for me.

And the ocean just thought, well, there will be more shore elsewhere. And then, most insulting of all, wasp moved in. And you know that the Dust Bowl is now primarily the realm of wasp. And that's when you hear the buzzing. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. This has been Spout Lore. I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. With me, playing Ving, the half-elf druid. Paul Loppers. Still so nice to have you back, Paul. Welcome. So good. And playing Elk, Abdulaziz. Hey, bye. Later.

Playing Polar Bear, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. Playing Owl, Mark Robertson. Seriously, great work today, everybody. Thanks to Aaron Reid of Vancouver's Sunday Service for our intro and outro music. Thanks to Mark, MP, Will, and Carter for letting us record in their home. If you want to find us online, we are at Spout Lore on most social media. Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll see you next time. Now sit right there and I'll tell you a tale. That's not the ending theme.

That's not the guy who's gone. That's how do you not know it. I'm back to your car and we'll head down the road. And everyone will go home. It sounds like a Sinatra version of the song. We're heading into Singing in the Rain. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. It's Spout Lore. It's Spout Lore. It's Spout Lore. Tune in today and hear your friends on Spout Lore. Because it's Spout Lore. Spout Lore. Spout Lore. Spout Lore. Every two weeks it's Spout Lore. And when you get back to the Jersey Sky.

In your ears it's Spout Lore. Spout Lore. Oh. Oh.

Second the the next season of Spout Lore is going to be film noir so it's going to be a lot of that a lot of saxophones billy's gonna be like a really sexy like bar singer oh wait no that's what tuck's gonna be yeah oh piano that oh yeah gonna be like in a red dress billy would be like a newsy oh yeah like a little kid that's on the street corner hey don't have a nickel for a paper I walked into the detective's office and my legs were really long you're describing yourself yeah I had legs longer than any dame he'd ever seen you got some long legs dame and I knew it because he said it long legs wait no I didn't I didn't hear it you got some long legs dame and I knew it because he said it long legs I just didn't hear it I love you're like what can I add I'll just repeat that's what they did in the film noir days and he knew I was trout oh sorry he knew I was trout he knew I had a secret but he was intrigued anyway because he was sexually attracted to my body you look like you got a secret dame and it could be danger but I'm intrigued because you're sexually interested yes yes

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Welcome to Spellt Lore everybody, my name is Sean O'Hara I am your Game Master And with me, playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers Hello!

He's back! Yeah, this might seem, depending on how release works, this might not seem like a long time to you But it has been like six months Woah Yeah, six months, half a year That is a long time Half a year We took some breaks, and we've been playing with Mark and stuff But now Paul is back, and we are going to explore the spirit realm with Ving The druid! Yeah, and so I also have… Guys, I'm introing the show, shut up Take two Do it again? No Okay Do you want me to do the whole thing again?

No, we have a lot of backup intros that we can do Oh fuck off Also heavily editable But the point is, is that Ving is going to be playing, er, Paul is going to be playing Ving, the half-elf druid But players Abdul Hey everybody Jessica Hello And Mark Hey guys Are not going to be playing their regular characters Today we are going to explore Ving's time in the spirit world and what led him into the clutches of the aggressive, not evil, just aggressive spirit wasp And joining him on his journey are going to be the spirits Polar Bear, Owl, and Elk And those folks are going to be played by these folks So now we gotta figure out a whata thata means What that means?

Yeah, it's kinda your job to tell us what that means No, it's not Because since you guys are playing spirits This is going to be a much more collaborative session Because you are embodying spirits that have existed for a long time So you know more, those characters would conceivably know more about the spirit world than the players would So I'm going to be handing the reins to you a lot and asking you guys a lot of questions So first things first, let's figure out who is playing who All the spirits are based on forms that Ving has traditionally taken quite often So we've got Owl, Polar Bear, and Elk And who would like to play?

Who would like to play Owl? Mark Yeah Yeah, Mark, you do look like an owl You're the nerdiest one Because I have the big round glasses? Yeah And big bags under my eyes? Yeah Your head turns around 170 degrees too Hey Mark, over here, over here buddy Yeah, that's me Alright, Owl, played by Mark Who is going to play Polar Bear? Well, doesn't matter, I'm fine with either one Yeah, you wanna try Polar Bear?

I don't know Rock, paper, scissors I like it Well, no, I was actually going to nominate Jessica So yeah, I'll rock, paper, scissors to see if I can nominate Jessica Okay Best two out of three No whining from the loser Abdul, scissors, Jessica, paper Okay Should we do it again? Sure Why? He already won Best two out of three Oh, tie on scissors Oh, Jessica takes it so tie it Rub around Fuck Okay Jessica won Jessica nominates Abdul Well, what does Abdul want me to play?

Polar Bear Okay, fine Alright Ooh Perfect Oh man, that's great I'm going to go with Polar Bear Okay Okay You know what?

It's just nice when somebody enters into a competition, wins, and gets what they want So, okay, Abdul's going to be Elk, Jessica's going to be Polar Bear, and Mark is going to be Owl So, in terms of moves and stuff So, the spirits will basically, you'll have access to the basic moves But when it comes to certain topics, areas of expertise, each of you is sort of the expert on that And so, I'm going to let you establish facts on those things, pretty much I'm going to ask you a lot of questions You're going to tell me a lot of things You're going to ask me questions You're going to tell me what the reality of that is And it's going to be true Because you know a lot about the spirit world, being spirits For example, like, Polar Bear is a hunter and a fighter So, when it comes to how to beat some total ass, Polar Bear is going to be the expert on that So, I'm going to ask you questions about that sort of stuff, about fighting and hunting Elk knows the ways Like, Elk walks the trails a lot So, when it comes to how to get to places, the dangers that might be found in between those locations That would be Elk's area And Owl gets a bird's eye view of a lot of stuff So, when it comes to interesting locations Like, places that might be good to know about or good to travel to Or might contain the things that you're looking for Owl is a great person on that So, I'll be asking Owl about that kind of thing Also, Owl is racist I've heard Owl is a racist So, when it comes to general stereotypes about the different ethnicities I'll be asking Owl a lot of questions about that And we will all be going, oh When he answers Jesus, why?

I mean, things were different back in his time It's true You know, he's just a product of his era It was a different time And Ving, a stranger in a strange land You're telling me You're just trying to make it through Been here for six mikes Months Six mikes Six mikes Six mikes So, based on the stuff that you told me a long time ago The spirit world is a place Of fluid time and space So, physics and time don't really work the way they usually do So, there are spirits, obviously, that are Sort of the identifiers And the stand-ins for things in the natural world And so, how it works is each spirit sort of acts in accordance with their nature It's like as the embodiment of Owl or Elk or Polar Bear No people?

No people as of yet But they most recently came in contact with Wasp in a massive hive And in there they found the remains of several people And objects that have very obviously belonged to people from the material plane So, obviously, it can be intimated or implied that people have traveled to the spirit world before And they don't always go back out So, that's a very general synopsis of what has happened in the spirit world so far So, if we all remember what happened the last time we played with Ving Ving awoke in the spirit world And was greeted by the spirits of Owl, Polar Bear, and Elk Now, some time has passed after that Not a ton of time But some time has passed and you have gone to a safer location Owl, where did you take Ving after you found him?

Well, we wanted somewhere safe So, we took him to Just any location Where would an owl go? Yeah, where would an owl be like? You don't think I was trying to think of where an owl would go? I'm just trying to help, Mark You're not good at improv Have you ever met an owl?

We went to a lovely lake Lake A lake, great We went to the lake So, you took Ving to the shore of a lake in the spirit world And A lake, Mark I don't know why I'm being so antagonist Please, Owl And the lake stretches off into indeterminate distance, out of sight You're just along one beautiful, unbroken shore Some trees, some eerily clean and identical looking trees March down the shoreline And it is there that Ving, you I assume you explained to them what happened?

Yeah, I sure did Just finished explaining to them what happened Wrapped up the explanation of what happened and What do we, what do we Have you ever heard of anyone leaving this place? Elk, you kind of know how things move in the spirit world Have you, do you What would be the biggest complication for Ving to get back to the material world?

Well, um The spirit world has like this one in, one out kind of thing So, you came in, Crocodile left So, something has to trade places with you What contact do we have with the outside world? There's people like you There's like shape shifters and stuff Yeah, have you ever met anyone? Uh, yeah, there's Who? There's one guy who can pass between realms My man I need to know this guy Nobody really knows who he is People call him the Ghost Pirate Oh What? Nothing What are you upset about?

Oh, I'm nothing, I'm totally fine Maybe Ghost Pirate is a little weak Oh, okay Character's, character's great There's uh There's gotta be a better name Yeah, there's gotta be a better name There's uh That's the main problem He keeps calling me Ghost Pirate It's like, it's not Wait, wait, wait Wait, what do you call an owl? Do you know, do you know who he's talking about?

No, we don't know exactly what it is We can just make up a dumb name like Ghost Pirate It's cool, it's cool Yeah, it does something to refer to it Fuck you, owl Anyway, anyway Well, I gotta meet this What, sorry, Ghost Pirate?

No, I'll change No, no, no, no Ghost Pirate Okay, everybody Ghost Pirate is a name I was workshopping And I'm gonna go I'm gonna go I'm gonna go I'm gonna go I'm gonna go I'm gonna go I'm gonna go And I just tried it out for the first time It didn't work And it's clear you guys don't like it So we're gonna roll it back We could call him anything else. GP? What's polar bear? I like ghost pirate. Ghost pirate it is. So where… Where do pirates go?

Yeah, where would be the place that Elk has heard that ghost pirate has been seen? He sails a ship that passes through the land in the sky. It's a flying ship. It's a flying ship. Oh, God, a flying ship ghost pirate. Last time I saw him, he was past Wasp's domain. He was in the place that we don't go. What's the place that you don't go? It's the place where the patrons live. Why don't you go there? Because they're different from us. How? We're spirits of animals. They're the spirits of people.

That's where all the firsts live. That's where the core of the patronages all live. That's where we can't go. Well, we can't. We gotta… We gotta go there. The ghost pirate's pretty much the only guy that goes back and forth between the patronage and the animal spirit world. Like, does he have a pirate? Does he have a patch? What makes him a pirate? Does he have a parrot? Sorry. I mean, he's got like a boat. He's an old man. He's got some beard. He's got markings. Markings?

He's got a lot of markings. He's got like a lot of tattoos. Like these? Do I have my ghost spirit staff? Yeah, you actually… Okay, so something that the spirits… The spirits you have noticed, a lot of… If you've ever encountered a person, which most of you haven't, but you've heard that when a person is in the spirit world, they're not really there. It's sort of a mental reinforcement of their image. But Vang, this is a real physical person. Yeah, I see that. This person is here. Yeah.

I'm like, I'm sniffing him. I'm nuzzling him. Yeah, and he's got stuff. You know, like your staff. That's cool. I like that. The decoration looks good. I like the symbols. I like the symbols and I like the decoration. I like the staff. I like your stick. That's cool. I like your compliments. Thank you very much. The decorations, they look a lot like the ghost pirate. Yeah, right? Yeah. So maybe he's imbued with runes. I don't know if this helps, but like you can't…

Sometimes when the wind blows, you can hear him coming. It's like a song. Like wind doesn't come around that often, but whenever the ghost pirate comes into town, into town… Yeah, whenever he comes into town, that's when like he like summons wind to move his ship. If Polar Bear knows that wind is the spirit that knows most often when this traveler, this sailor arrives in the spirit world, then wind might be the spirit you want to find. So we'll do it like a perilous journey role.

So Polar Bear will be the scout because Polar Bear is always on the lookout for enemies. Elk will be the trailblazer because Elk knows the way. And Owl will be… Blocking offers. Owl will be refusing to yes and. Yes! Owl will be an indication of how accurate the traveling is. I can't tell you what the right way is, but I can sure shit tell you if we're going the wrong way. Yeah, that's Owl. Yeah. In a nutshell. Okay.

So yeah, so we'll be doing this as a classic undertake a perilous journey role. But the roles are slightly different. So 2d6 plus wisdom. I got 11. I got seven. I got 10 then. Okay, great. With 10 plus roles on undertake a perilous journey, things go better than you expect them to. So getting there doesn't take as long. Owl, you know that you're going exactly where you need to go. Since you're the one that's like, okay, this is where we need to go. We need to go to find wind.

Where do you need to go? Wind. Wind likes to hang out with fire. Okay. Wind and fire often work together for some nastiness that we don't really enjoy or talk about too much. But anyway, you sniff for fire, you sniff for smoke, and you will find wind right beside it. And you get the idea that it is in the direction of an area called the plains, which is sort of the representation of grassland in the space. In the spirit world. So what is between the lake and the plains? Ah, the mountain. Okay.

So there is the mountain in between the lake and the plains. And the mountain is a place in the spirit world that can be seen by basically anywhere else in the spirit world. Like if you're in, you look in a direction, you can see even just a bit of the peak. And you have come to the mountain, the four of you. Ving, this is the biggest mountain you've ever seen in your entire life. Yeah, it is basically just the largest peak that can be found. It's the largest peak in the entire world.

It's the largest peak in the entire world. It's the largest peak that can be found in the great forest or in the frozen north, but it is almost solitary. How are we ever going to get over that thing? So you start climbing the mountain. And with the physics, actually, so you, the three of you, owl, polar bear, and elk, you find it easy as ever. Like this is your home. This is the way that you move. And you are comfortable with this. Ving, you find this very difficult. Can I bird up? Can I try?

So the way that you're shape-shifting works in the material. World is you commune with a spirit in the spirit world and sort of trade forms almost. So now that you're in the spirit world, how does that work here? I guess I'd turn into a real life toucan. Okay, well, we can just roll it and we can see how it works based on the roll. If you want to do a 2d6 plus wisdom for your shape-shifting. Okay. Seven. Okay, so you get one. You get one hold. Okay. And what are you trying to turn into?

The hummingbird. The hummingbird. A comfortable form. So polar bear, you see a spirit that you're familiar with in the range of the mountains and they are a bird. It's not a hummingbird. But what is it? Eagle. Eagle. So you see eagle perched on like a like a bear looking tree on a rock as you approach and Ving, you're trying to climb the mountain. Yeah, a bear tree. It's like a tree, but it's covered in bears. They hang like fruit, like weighty fruit. I picked the bear tree. Tastes like berries.

Yep. You guys can all don't squeeze me Abdul. Oh, stop touching everybody. So you see eagle on a branch just preening like they do. The Vane Eagle. And Ving, you start trying to call on the powers that you have for so many years of your life. Yeah. And an eagle like looks up and starts looking at the group and then takes wing, flies over and you feel the talons of eagle dig into your shoulder Ving. Oh. And then you feel your forms merging. And it is a very unusual feeling.

It does not feel anything like your shape shifting usually does. And your two forms blend. Good God. Oh, my dude. What is happening to me? This is gross. Oh, fuck, dude. My Vane Eagle. So you're parts of you elongate and parts of eagle. Oh, finally. Oh. And shrink. And then you are sort of a mix between an elf, a man and a bird. Okay. But is it like doable? Is it like a toxic Avenger? Yeah. No, you look good. You look good. How do I? Yeah, you know, it looks good. Right, guys? Right? Yeah.

I feel terrible. It looks like you could fuck shit up. Look at that. Yeah. You look really good. I only have the one talent. I mean, the main thing is you got wings. So I think you can probably fly. You are able to fly. You're able to do what you hoped that you would do. But you are not a cleanly represented eagle. You are a mixture between eagle and man. You were trying to do hummingbird. I was trying. I wanted hummingbird. So you continue up the slope of the mountain.

It's steep and it's difficult. Elk and polar bear, you have no problem. Owl, eagle, Ving, you're just flying along. And you get to a cleft in the path between two smaller peaks on the side of the mountain and polar bear. That is when you see a threat. You fought this spirit many times before. Sometimes won, sometimes lost. Which spirit is it? It's avalanche. That's a big spirit? That's awesome. So the slopes of this part of mountain are covered in pristine snow.

The light from sun, it's reflecting off beautifully clean white slopes. As you approach this area under the snow, you hear a rumbling in the rocks and a rumbling in the snow. And you hear, Oh, be careful. Hey, be cool, man. It's just us coming through. I'm just saying, you might want to watch your step. I'm going to turn to Ving and just stay close with us. You don't want to get avalanche. Get a good. Look at you. And you have to cross a large part of this peak where you believe avalanche to be.

Avalanche is a weird spirit in that they imbue natural formations that are also spirits of their own. So you don't really know where avalanche is, but. The potential is everywhere. The potential is everywhere. Exactly. Owl and Ving, you're at this time not in danger of setting off avalanche in the way that it is traditionally set off. But Elkin Polar Bear, you are purely terrifying. You are a spirit of the rest of the world. You are a spirit of the rest of the world.

You are a spirit of the rest of the world. I guess I would kind of get caught in an avalanche is probably what would happen with me. I get caught in a lot of avalanches. I guess what would happen with me is I would fail and live with that. Yeah, I fail a lot. This guy has a lot of talk. Avalanche likes to just talk it up. But he doesn't even know. He doesn't even know when he's going to go. Oh, I'm not concerned. You're not concerned. Hey, hey, you guys want to shut up out there?

Kind of taunting him. He doesn't like that. It's like, oh, you think just because you're flying, I can't get you. He doesn't even know. He says that. He doesn't even know when he's going to go. He can't control himself. He just goes. So Polar Bear and Elk, how are you getting across this area? You have to pick your way very carefully. And you have to be very quiet because avalanche likes to taunt. You can't really throw any insults back. Okay, cool. You just have to take it. Yeah.

So Polar Bear is. Oh, so you just. Yeah. Can we act that out? Yeah. You just listen to avalanche talking shit and just try not to react. I'm going to need some rolls, though, so we know how you do. 2d6 plus dexterity from both of you. Six. Twelve. Okay. So Elk, you nailed it. Man, Elk is way better at rolling than Tuck is. He's very dainty, too. Yeah. So check it out. And I guess I'm showing off. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, look at me. What? June. You're in, like, dressage. Yeah. It's a lot of.

Someone hummed the Lion King or something. Oh, man. Look, I get it. I get it. Ugh. My character just changed. Oh, hey. So avalanche is like, oh, yeah, you think some fancy walking is going to trick me? I'm so ready to just crush you. You stupid. You stupid Elk. You stupid Elk. And that polar bear, I'm going to get you, too. And your fur is not as white as you think it is. Oh, snap. I do my best, you know? So maybe what it is is that something Avalanche says gets polar bear.

Polar bear is like, hey. So yeah, it's just Avalanche is like, oh, yeah, Elk, I keep hearing you're telling people you're at 20 point. You're like, maybe 16. And I'm just acquiescing. I'm just acquiescing. Because Elk is apparently like a pushover. A pushover. Or it's just like, yeah, you're right. I'm a tiny piece of shit. Look at me. I'm a tiny piece of shit. I'm a hard 16. I'm a little tiny piece of shit. I like the characterization that you guys have already put on these owls. Yeah.

Or these spirits. You know, I think it's kind of a jerk. Elk is just a wiener. And polar bear is like, hey, look, I don't know, man. Just do what you do. You just gotta do it. Polar bear is a Hufflepuff. I'm Slytherin. Yeah. Owl is a Slytherin. Polar bear is a Hufflepuff. Elk is a Gryffindor. A Weasley. Elk got expelled. Elk is Fleur Delacour. Fleur Delacour. Oh, hello. I come from Bobatom. Back then. Back then. Back then. Back then. Back then. Back then. My blue sash. Look at my cool hat.

I was expelled for inappropriate touching. Yeah, Elk is Hagrid. Yeah, I was expelled for inappropriate touching. I touched spiders in weird places. Is that why Hagrid got expelled? He had a monster spider and it killed a kid. Oh, sorry. I thought you meant inappropriate touching. In your fan fiction. Yeah. Okay. That's why he has to live 500 feet from 500 meters from the school. From Hogwarts. That's why Hagrid lives in a shack because he can't be that close to Hogwarts. Oh, that's good.

Okay, yeah, so Polar Bear, you think when you cover your nose I can't see you in the snow, but I see you because your fur's yellow. Look at men. So you get Polar Bear stopped. Yeah, you just like, okay, that's enough. That's enough. Look.

And you put your paw down in a spot that like it's hard snow and you feel the snow crack like it's that shelf over the soft powder and you feel it crunch and Avalanche goes there you are and then and Ving and Owl, you see the snow start to pick up on the slopes and it's pouring down. No. And Elk, you are able to get out of the way if you so choose. But Polar Bear, you get nailed. Your paw goes through the crust and the snow starts coming down. Slowly covers his nose. He does. Closes his eyes.

It's okay, you guys. It's just… Polar Bear covers his nose and closes his eyes and he just gets buried. Can't see Polar Bear. Gone. Can I try and help? Yeah, but you can't see Polar Bear at all. Because I cover my nose. Polar Bear, you get absolutely buried. You feel the full crush of Avalanche's weight and yeah, Elk, Polar Bear is gone. Owl, Ving, you hear this Avalanche. It's so loud. It's a combination of the rushing of the snow and the rocks and what just sounds like a triumphant shouting.

Oh man, I cannot believe you guys took the bait. The guys just all talk. Look at this. Now we're stuck. I'm keeping a really good eye on exactly the spot where Polar Bear used to be. I'm just circling around. I'm looking. I'm looking right at it. I'm like, okay, so you're acting like this is a real inconvenience, but you're also like, okay, so where'd Polar Bear go? Yeah. So give me a 2d6 plus wisdom. This will be a discern realities. 10. Dang. 10 on a 10 plus.

You get to ask the GM three questions from the list below and you take a plus one forward when acting on the answers. What happened here recently? What is about to happen? What should I be on the lookout for? What here is useful or valuable to me? Who's really in control here? What here is not what it appears to be? Whoa. All of those answers could be Avalanche. I think what here is useful.

You see Avalanche is settling in sort of the bottom of this this cleft in the rocks that you were traveling through. It's sort of like a small rock valley. It's like a steep slope and then a higher wall on the other side and the snow is starting to settle and you see a patch of snow underneath you start to shift in what looks to be about the size of what Polar Bear would probably be. I think I think I spot your friend. I want to go to it. I swooped down to Polar Bear. Okay. Yeah.

So you swoop right down and Polar Bear. What's Polar Bear doing when they get hit by the Avalanche? Oh Polar Bear just waits for it to settle down and then it's just like alright buddy and then he has to dig himself out. How does he know which way is up? He spits. Oh. He's been paying attention. So give me a 2d6 plus strength to see if you can force your way out of the snow. Nine. Nine. Okay. So yeah you can make your self known like you just start forcing your way up through the snow.

You're not able to completely dig yourself out because Avalanche really prioritized inconveniencing you. So there's quite a bit of snow on top of you. Yeah. I poke my nose out. Yeah. You see a little black nose thing. Boop. There it is. I see his nose. What do you all do? You see where Polar Bear is. They're having trouble digging themselves out. I'm going to go down and start helping Polar Bear dig out. Okay. With my horrible man talents. Elk. Owl. What are you doing?

I run over there too and I start like just jabbing into the snow with my head talents. What are they called? Antlers. Antlers. Shit. Oh. Ow. Yeah. Okay. Polar Bear give me a defy danger strength. I'll aid. I got 10. Oh I got big number 13. Whoa. You got two. You got a two? So he falls into the hole. So um you swing down and everybody starts digging trying to get Polar Bear out. Elk you're jabbing your antlers in. Polar Bear you feel some antlers jab into your and I go hey grab the antlers.

I can't. I don't have thumbs. Hey big guy. And Polar Bear is just like swiping like as much strength as you can put behind the swings and Ving you get your gross half man half eagle body in there and a big old paw catches you right on the side. Oh no claws but Polar Bear smacks you hard enough that yeah you feel the spirit of eagle dislodge from your body. Oh gosh. And it's like throwing up but if you threw up like out of your flesh eagle pops out and is like oh how dare you. What?

How dare you sully the form of eagle. But you came to me. I did no such thing. I was under some sort of thrall. I would never willingly muddy myself with your disgusting human form. Yeah this guy's got a lot of opinions about eugenics. He thought I was a jerk. Listen to this guy. Sounds like Fraser. Look at me. I'm beautiful. But you are beautiful. The very vision of predatory instinct and skill. A hunter unsurpassed in sky or on land.

Ving starts crying one tear and he says but you were the Vind beneath my Vings. That makes no sense to me and you know it makes no sense to you. I will go now but no. Henceforth no eagle shall answer your call. No! An eagle spreads their wings and goes and soars off into the sky. Eagle! And this is a thing that I am committing to. From here on out you cannot take any forms that are eagle or eagle related. What? No goldens? Never. You have pissed off the core of all eagles.

For such a high brow animal you make such a dumb fucking noise. You hear off in the sky? Ah! That guy is a jerk. Once this was crazy. He grabbed a goat. He flew down and grabbed a goat off the side of a mountain. Like inappropriately? About ten flaps later dropped goat onto rocks. I never want to be him anyways. Yeah, it was gross. Was goat okay? So at this point you're back to Ving. And you know what? You actually feel like if you were to try that again with another spirit it would be harder.

I'm not into it. You didn't enjoy that experience? No, that was the worst. Thank God. I'm back. You're all on top of the snow now. Polarberry, they haul you out. You trundle out of the snow and you get back on your paws. And Avalanche sort of shot their shot with that one avalanche. How is Avalanche acting, man? They're like, dang it. You better watch your step. And then they're gone. And Snow's just like, I'm really sorry about that. I'll clean this up later. And you feel like, you know what?

If there's anything I can do to help you guys, help all of you get where you're going, just let me know. Can you clear a path for us so we can help this guy get to the other side of the mountain? Oh yeah, no problem. I can at least get you through this part of the peak. And you feel like and the snow packs back down to a comfortable walking consistency and a little footpath settles it. It settles itself up this part of the peak of mountain that you're trying to go. You guys have an ice day.

And we all laugh like, I guess. Everybody but Polar Bear is laughing. Polar Bear is laughing so hard. Polar Bear loves Snow Jones. Jessica as a player is laughing so hard she's trying not to be too loud. I don't pass out compliments very often but he's probably the best spirit at jokes. Snow? Yeah. Yeah, I guess you know when it's just got us chill out. Oh my god, classic. Classic Snow. Okay, just as the player of Duel, I resent being forced to laugh at these puns. Spirits love puns. Fuck you.

You know what you signed up for with this podcast? Everyone? Once in a while I'm going to embody the spirit of a natural formation that enjoys making puns. I love it. I love it. Snow is one of the best. Snow is one of the best. Okay, so Snow has made it a little bit easier to get up this part of mountain. And you travel further. What way would Elk suggest over mountain? I think I'd like to see what happens when we crest the peak. It's a nice day. Yeah.

I turn to Ving and I'm like, hey, there's a shortcut, but I'm not going to go up. But I want to take you over the top. Okay, well, that's cool. I'd rather get back to my body. No, but you're going to want to see this. It's amazing. And then so I take him to the top of the peak where you can see the entirety of the spirit realm. Also, Ving, to be clear, this is your body. Your real body. Oh, yes. I'm trying to impart how much of an irregularity that is for spirit travelers.

You have your real physical human body here. And if you die here, you would die. You would be dead. It could be a really bad scene. You are in a lot of danger. So how are you getting up to the peak? Because it's pretty rugged at the top. And Ving is a real physical human in a very strange place. Also, I'm punch drunk. I'm the polar bear. Yeah, polar bear really nailed Ving. Oh, sorry. No, it's okay. I had it coming. Do you want to get on my back? See what it's like to ride for once?

You know what? I would love that elk. You've always been good to me. And then I take a hoof and I stroke his face. Oh, okay. It's a tender touch. Just one. Just one tender touch. Oh, you're so tender. I jump on. Yeah, you hop on elk. Strong, rippling muscles under a silky coat of fur. I get hard. Yeah, you, when you, any time that you spent in the great forest, you saw some pretty magnificent elks. Yeah. And elk is unsurpassed. Delicious. Pure, beautiful specimen. Yeah.

Probably, you know, because it's the elk. Capital T, capital E, the elk. And yeah, and I talk like this. Yeah, I know, right? And that's the thing is like most people that, if people can talk to animals and they talk to an elk, they do hear that that's what most people talk about. Yeah. Yeah. That's what most of them sound like. Yeah. We have, we all have sinus infections. That's why they're snorting so much. They snort all the time.

But when you talk to them, they're just like, there's just a lot of pollen. All pollen all the time. So Ving, you're riding on the back of elk, polar bear. Oh, I plod along. Yeah, plodding along. Owl, this is just, are you still? Another dense guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, it's pretty cool up here. Yeah. Flapping around. And you get to the peak of mountain. The way up seems like it was shorter than the way down would be. At least that's the way it looks from here.

It comes to a very, very narrow peak. Like it's this massive, massive mountain with this incredibly strong and sturdy base. So rugged going up. Different parts of mountain are different. There's a part that's volcanic. There's a part that's like forested hillside. There's a part that's deep snow. But up here, it's just a tiny little peak with a little area to stand. And the spirit world is laid out before you.

This is the first time you're seeing the entirety of the spirit world and you see just how strange it is. There's forest as far as the eye can see in one direction. Different kinds of trees. There's an area that is, it looks like it's steps, like the Mongolian steps, how it's like areas of a mountain like marching down from mountain sides. But they go up. They go up. They go down. They go up. They go up. They go up. They go up. They go up. They also go around. Like they twist.

There's areas that are rocky desert and there are mountains that aren't attached to anything that are just rocky outcroppings. There's an ocean that seems to go down at an angle. But you see islands in this sea just poking out at right angles in strange directions. And you see down far, far away is the grasslands. You see smoke billowing up from an area of the plains. And you see a lot of water and you see the flickers of fire in the distance.

And you hear the howling of what you believe to be wind. Boom. Guys, that's it. By the way, I should point out, what a view from up here, huh? It's pretty nice. Nice vista, mister. Yeah. And then I turned to him and I'm like, everything that the light touches will be yours one day. Everything the light touches? Yeah. Except for the elephant's graveyard. And then I'm like, no, never mind. That's something else. What about that shadow? No. Nothing. Yeah. And you actually, yeah, you see…

But it is a real fucking acid trip up here. This is very trippy. There are a lot of spirits that you can see from this, from the peak of mountain. You see sun and moon chasing each other through the sky. You see clouds moving of their own accord. Sixty-nining across the night and day. Beautiful. Yeah, where sun and moon go, the sky changes. There are… Whales. Something that looks like… Where? Like just off in the distance through the ocean. You see whale… Riding unicycles.

You see a whale in the ocean from a far distance and you see them come up and take off into the sky and move to another body of water. I saw one jump into the sand. Yeah, you did. Whale is just about moving through places that other people can't. I want to call upon the whale so bad right now. Just like, uh… No. No. No. I can wait. I could be a whale man. Oh, I could be a whale man. You're lucky. Sometimes people come up here and be like six, seven hours and won't see any whales. Really? Yeah.

You get your money back if that happens. Yeah. And sometimes lunch. There's a whale guarantee? Yeah, there's a whale sighting guarantee. We guide someone up here and we take a coin and like sometimes we don't take anything. I do like your staff, by the way. But anyway, sometimes… We bring them up here and then… No way. And they don't see anything. We'll take them back down and give them their coin back if they're going to be like that about it.

That's actually a great point because we have established that there are spirit guides. Is Owl a guide? I mean, it's a little side gig he's got going on. Yeah. He's got, you know, he's got some other… He can pretty much hook you up with anything you're looking for. But if you're not… Like, definitely whale watching. If he's too busy to take you out, he's got some friends. Yeah. Yeah. Who can do that. But his eyesight's so much better than everyone else. He's like, yeah, there's the whales.

And like, what? I don't see any whales. Yeah, they're right there. There's whales right there. No money back, guarantee. What that implies is two things to me, at least based on what we've established. That means that Owl has guided other people through the spirit world before and also that Owl expects payment. Yeah. Staff's nice, man. Yeah, the staff that I… I've had in my family for generations. Yeah, your unbreakable taped up staff. It's awesome. Yeah. Thank you for calling it that.

I like… I like the symbols. I like the shape. I just like it. It looks good. Look, I don't know what you're getting at. You're not getting the staff, man. Thanks for bringing me here. I see the whales. I guess… I guess, you know, traditionally… Mm-hmm. Are you going to leave me up here to die? No, it's… Again? You know, like a tip or something might be nice. I'll get you a tip. I'll give you the tip of my spear. How about that? That's what I thought. Now let's get down this mountain.

So… And just to give you some background on what has happened before, tuck paid koi with a coin and a bottle of music. Just so you know the kinds of things. They basically take anything but… I'm acting really cheap here. But it seems like… But it seems like owl is fixated on the staff. Yeah. So that's something to consider. So you start making your way down the peak of the mountain and… You get to a point where you cross into a very rocky trail.

Whereas the area that you came up with was sort of a deep, snowy… Like a ski hill looking side of the mountain. This is like… You know when you see really dense mountains at like the edge of the Himalayas where it's like the path goes like straight down and then it hooks around and then it goes back down this like cliff face? It's like that. There are a lot of really treacherous zones. Elk, you're used to walking in rocky mountains. Rocky areas. Polar bear, you've done this a billion times.

Doesn't really matter to you. Owl, you're flying. Ving, I assume you're still chilling on the back of owl? Yeah. Or elk? Hey, give me a lift. Yeah. Yeah, we'll see that happen. And you get to an area of the cliff side that has a lot of caves, a lot of places to hide, a lot of tumbles of stone that could potentially conceal things. And you start to feel like you're being watched. To certain realities. To certain those realities. 2D6 plus wisdom. Eight. On a seven to nine, you ask one question.

What's about to happen? So as you are on the back of elk and coming down an area between two large tumbled piles of rock, you hear some movement behind the stones and you hear a long, deep howl. Go ahead. You hear a long, deep howl. And you hear a long, deep howl. Yeah, let's jump in one of the caves. What do you guys think? We should not run into the cave.

Yeah, Polar Bear is sort of like the general, you know what I mean, of this group where it's like you know when a fight is coming and what you should do. So what does Polar Bear think you should do? Polar Bear says down the mountain, quick as he can. Oh, you're just going to haul ass? Yeah. Okay. It's the only thing you can do. You don't want to corner yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Smart. Is everybody just like moving? Yeah. So 2d6 plus dexterity. I only got six. Oh, I got 11. I got nine. I'm eight.

Eight. Okay. So elk just takes off. It's a wolf. It's a wolf. It's a wolf. It's a wolf. It's wolf. It's wolf. If there's something that elk's good at, it's running away from threats. And so are you still on the back? Yeah. So you're just going to stay there? I think so. Okay. No, that makes sense. Because I mean like even though, like you're, you could still be in a little bit of danger, but for the most part, elk success means that you're taking off. I pulled my bow and arrow. Just in case.

Oh yeah. You got weapons. Do you have a bow and arrow? Yeah, I do. Oh yeah. He got one a long time ago. He doesn't use it much. Yeah. And owl starts flapping away as well. And polar bear, not as fast as everybody else, especially like downhill is a very uncomfortable. I'm so bottom heavy. Polar bears running down and their butt starts, like keeps coming up a little bit. They're like, Oh, like just on their front feet. Yeah. And elk is gone. Vings on the back, pulling out a bow.

Owl is flying ahead, but not too far ahead. And you see coming up over to stand on a pile of rocks. It's wolf. It is wolf. And wolf stands up on top of the rock, gives another howl. Oh, that one wasn't as good as the first one. And sniffs the air and looks right at you. That's what wolf says to himself. Yeah. Wolf is like, Oh, Nope. Not that one. Let's, uh, let's do, do, do over, do over, do over on that second howl. Uh, and you see wolf lock eyes with you, polar bear.

And from either side of the trail, more wolves make themselves seen. They come out of caves. They come out from behind rocks. And as someone who has faced off with these individuals before, you know that this is capital T capital P the pack. Thanks for listening, everybody. This has been Spout Lore. I'm your game. Master Sean O'Hara. And with me playing Ving, the half elf druid, Paul offers. Hello. Playing elk. Abdul disease. I'll see you later. Everybody. Oh, geez. Playing polar bear.

Jessica tie. Yeah. Bye guys. And playing owl. Mark Robertson. Yeah. I guess I'll see you guys later. Thanks to Aaron Reed of Vancouver Sunday service for our intro and outro music. Thanks to MP Mark Carter and will for letting us record in their beautiful home. And thank you to you for listening. This has been Spout Lore. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures. Three. The bear. There's a.

And lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey May be like a conclusion We will not leave you Without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute Or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout no

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Welcome back to Spellt Lore, I'm your Game Master Sean O'Hara and I'm your host, Sean O'Hara.

With me, as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdulaziz Hello everyone! Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Juska Tai Hello guys! And playing Shathane, the elven ranger, Mark Robertson Hello!

When last we left our heroes, upon the back of the gigantic fish horse which now houses the spirit of the wizard Perel So you are standing in the middle of an opening of the enormous hive of the spirit wasp It is probably 40 or 50 feet on a side, and it's all lumpy and misshapen like a wasp nest is But it is enor-mo, yo! It's big ol' hive, and you hear buzzing deep within What do you do? Yeah, should we like, execute the plan now? Sure Oh yeah, you guys have a plan! Yeah we do What is your plan?

You have the wapple, right?

Right, you tied it to my, uh Oh, amulet Amulet, yeah, so we have the wapple tied to the amulet We know wasp is very aggressive, so we have to do something about it Okay And we know he likes sweet things, so someone stab the wapple so the sweet sweet juice comes out And then let me go, and then I'll start taunting it Okay But don't we have to put some We have to put the s- the s- The stuff in it first Oh right, yeah The golden root, yeah So I'm gonna unwrap that, um, the golden root Attempted golden root Yeah, who knows what it is, it's a mystery Um, and I'm gonna cut open the wapple and stuff it inside And then I just, I- I kiss it and I say, please, do the job We'll have to toe tuck out into the open space Or throw him like a, like a lawn dart or something Oh we'll throw the wapple and you will go with the wapple Yeah, yeah And I guess I'm like, wait a minute, you're gonna throw me?

Uh And then, whew And it's like, it's weird cause it, well it's weird cause you don't feel the momentum Yeah but I Like you are just moving I can see things moving around so I'm getting there So I'm getting really sick You're getting motion sick and it's just like Hey do- hey Perel Mmm Can you turn Nott into a horse now? Oh, oh, yeah, so, yes of course, of course Can you get a little smaller?

Yeah, okay I'm sorry I'm still getting used to this And uh, yeah he's grunting a little bit and Perel's fishy legs start to shrink And his body starts to narrow cause he was quite wide as well And he's like, uh, so he starts to shrink And then he starts to shrink down and yeah he gets small enough that the two of you slide off and are just standing And he is looking around trying to figure out what the best form for him would be And he makes himself a pretty humanoid actually Like he gives himself some back legs to stand on And he's still got a little fishy tail And- but now he's got arms and an upright body and a head with a neck that looks around like a person It's like, ooooh What do you think?

That is not a good look Yeah, I think that's even creepier looking than the horse He's kinda posing a little bit like, look I've got hands, I can manipulate things Yeah, I don't know, try- I'm far away I guess It's like, uh, try- try making yourself like fat It makes you more likeable Oh, uh, that's a fair point, fair point You look like a Spider-Man right now He gives himself like a little paunch Like an old man that owns a bookstore And he gives himself like a little mustache He's just like, okay, what about one of these?

This is worse than anything I could have ever imagined We'll work on it, we'll work- we've got other plans I think Abs, can he make- I just did the paunch Yeah, now we wanna see abs though Can we talk about this later? Why didn't you pick abs? That makes you more likeable Can somebody give me a weapon? We don't have any extra ones Okay, fine Do we trust this Peril with weapons?

No, man Raven's really shaking his head Yeah, and he's like- He's like, I thought that we were making a connection here Yes, but these are my weapons Okay, fine, alright, that's- they're too small for me anyways In my current form Yeah, cause you are fat and- but then I stop and I'm like So, uh, Tuck, from your- you're kind of trying to hear what's going on Like, hey, speak up Hey, what are you guys talking about? What are you guys talking about?

But then you- then you hear And the rest of you hear Are we gonna hide before we try and get their attention or are we gonna all be there as a team?

Uh, we should- we should hide You guys should hide Hide So we're gonna- we're gonna try and scuttle off and see where we can hide if there's a part of the hive that looks like it's more- Yeah, there's like a little chunk- there's like chunks here and there Yeah, yeah, yeah And the function of, uh, Shathane's camouflage move And the function of Billy's cloak means that if you're hiding in a natural place, you- You can't be found Okay, I'm- yep, cloak up and then I slap myself into that mud wall Do you just go and hide like in a kind of outcropping of- Yeah, I just get my cloak, whip it around, I mean- Yeah Stand real still and then start to, uh, apply the move camouflage Yeah, yeah, yeah, great So you- you see- you see with the, um, the iridescent nature of the butter moth silk Means that it's sort of taking on the color of the things around it almost So he almost seamlessly blends into- Into the hive So you guys can peek out a little bit and see what Tuck is up to And Perel's like, um, um, um Get really small, you can come in my cloak I'm a fish, I'm a fish person Uh, and he's just- And he, uh, gets down to a little, um He's even smaller than you, Billy He's like- he's like one foot tall Okay, well- He's like, oh, I don't like this Well, I don't like it either, but- I'm like, now you're cute, this is good Get under our cloak!

Yeah Okay, okay, okay And he's like- he's hiding under- under the cloak with Billy Tuck, from where you're hanging In the air Attached to this wapple Yeah, I, uh, I've- I've taken the string that I was holding onto And I, uh, wrap it around my foot Okay I tie it to my foot Yeah So I'm standing upright instead of some weird sideways position Yeah, yeah, yeah So you're just kind of standing, but you're still like two or three feet- like a foot off the ground Yeah Yeah, great And, uh, you hear And it's almost like the buzzing of the- of the hive hits some sort of weird resonant frequency So all of the hive, all of the walls, even the- like the ground feels like it's all You see, like, a little wasp come out of the hive How big?

Uh, maybe like, inch and a half Oh, okay And then you see more Oh And more Oh, shit And more and more until wasps are like pouring out of every conceivable opening in this hive Whoa Billy and Shathane, you were wise enough to know, like, I'm not gonna camouflage myself on an opening Or near an opening So you're close enough, but you can see wasps flying around you And over you until- and they all start to coalesce in this huge swarm And they rise up in front of you It's like, what are you doing here?

Oh, um, I just wandered into this clearing to enjoy the sweet and succulent wa-apple The swarm is sort of moving interestedly around the wa-apple So that's- you get the idea, that's why they have an attack, like, instantly Uh-huh Because they're like, what's going on here?

I was like- But, uh, the hive is like, zzz-rrrr-rr-rr-rr- you are an intruder It was like, no I'm not, I'm just a guy with a wa-apple, but you're not allowed to have any And, uh I'm treating it kind of like a child, I guess Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah But the- the- the swarm- This is my wa-apple The swarm buzzes very loudly, like rrrrr-rr-rr-rr-rr And then they just start swooping And they're trying to sting you But they're flying through you But they're going right through you, yeah They're like zzz-rr-rr-rr-rr-rr- and that's making them angry Yeah, it's giving me a huge headache, cause there's a bunch of things inside of me And they're loud, they're buzzing really loud Yeah, this sucks All around you, it's like being in a wasp storm Yeah, it's like having a wasp storm inside of you Wasp storm Yeah, exactly There's a band in McCall named Wasp Storm There are wasps in McCall?

Uh, no, there's just a band called Wasp Storm They're not from McCall Yeah They just- they live there now That's where the music scene is Yeah And I guess I'm just saying this out loud to the wasps I was like, you know what you guys remind me of?

Is this band called Wasp Storm Uh huh And they're good, I like them, they're what made me like music And the first time I ever played music Yeah, they're not listening Was at a talent show They're not listening at all I'm just telling them, and it's not bad, I got third place They're just trying to sting you eating the wapple Uh huh Uh, so this would be a good time for Billy to rule whether or not your golden root worked So what do we think this is, a wisdom I guess?

Cause wisdom's sort of like instinctual, intuitive stuff 2d6 plus wisdom for defy danger Oh god, five Five Yeah Can I aid? No, well I would think a six Can I also aid?

You can't aid more than once Okay Then you just get a plus one Oh dear So it doesn't work It does not work So they're eating the wapple, like And they get it down to like kind of a core, like it's not fully done But they start whipping around the wapple core and picks it up And starts tugging it into the hive Oh, okay And the amulet that Tuck is attached to, is attached to the wapple And they start dragging Tuck into the hive Ah, perfect Okay, uh guys help me I This is a long shot, literally I'm gonna try and uh, un-camouflage myself And then fire an arrow and try and cut through the amulet Oh Chain Or rope or whatever it is No no no no no, don't do that And let them take, so that we can have you not be in the hive So we don't have to go in and rescue you out of the hive and die Fine You're not like full of helium, you're not gonna float up into the air I know but I don't wanna lose my amulet No he's trying to cut the string Yeah so then I would lose the amulet Mmhmm No cause the string is attached to the wapple which attaches the amulet to the wapple Oh okay, okay Yeah yeah, 2d6 plus dexterity Ten Sick So you just pop out of your uh, your little camouflage spot Yeah, flick my cloak around just enough to uh, gracefully grab a arrow from my quiver Pull up my bow, give it a little snap so it's all in one piece Pull the string Your bow collapses?

Of course That's awesome Um Back Up Windage Compensate Tongue out of the corner of my mouth a little bit I am very close to being pulled into this Squint And Creep It makes a pop You know like arrows When you're good Yeah so it soars through the air, through the wasps Like you don't even hit any of the wasps Yeah And just And they pull the wapple into the hive but you stop moving altogether Tuck Okay Except for the wasp Yeah I'm gonna go get the wasp I'm gonna go get the wasp I'm gonna go get the wasp I'm gonna go get the wasp I'm gonna go get the wasp I'm gonna go get the wasp I'm gonna go get the wasp Okay Except your amulet's kinda like On your foot Yeah I take it and I put it back on my neck Yeah And you're totally immobile while you're doing this Yeah You're not moving at all And the wasps are pulling it back in But it is a huge swarm So they do know now that Shathane and Tuck are both there And they see you Shathane and they start swarming towards you What do you do?

And I'll just look over at Tuck and I'll be like You're welcome? And I do the what are you waiting for move Oh you see Shathane You see the wasp You see them swarming at Shathane And then you start yelling at them Yeah Okay alright so 2d6 plus constitution Ugh failed hard So mark a point of experience so what happens?

I guess I make them so annoyed that they all go away I'm like ugh look at me I'm a fucking wasp And I love sweet stuff Cause I'm such a stupid piece of shit Yeah I'm a wasp and I love sweets Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum I'm a wasp Errrr waspy boys They love sweets Yeah you made your point So how does that translate into a failure?

Cause it's a hard fail Yeah I think that you that Tuck is making so much noise Like you're just screaming and trying to be really derisive towards these wasps They're not really taking the bait on that But um yeah the swarm does just zip right at Shathane And I think that they have been whipped up into such an anger by Tuck making such a fuss That they just they do go harder at Shathane So we're just gonna we're just gonna call it They're gonna try and sting you They're gonna sting the hell out of you So go ahead and roll a d8 2 Okay so uh yeah so they're crawling all over you stinging But they're catching your armor most of the time Like they they weren't expecting you to have this protective layer So you only take one point of damage From their stinging Uh so Billy you see this you see Shathane getting swarmed and stung And he's batting at the swarm And Tuck is yelling insults at wasps that they don't get But you and Perel are hiding underneath Okay Your cloak what do you do?

Perel I think it's time that I whip this out My hands The magic Sorry I think it's time that I whip this out My hands So funny Guess what I'm gonna do now Magic I wanna do my spells Okay um well Teach me fast Perel's like I don't know if we we're not we're not ready for like a codified spell Well then can you just do it through me or do it yourself? I can't do anything I can't do magic in this form Fine You can do this okay alright what are we gonna try and do?

Okay uh I gotta shield my pals and then I gotta just blast them away That's some pretty heavy stuff Okay Uh magic wise you were only able to cast that one spell well because you were in the pool which was a source of magic So Perel is basically saying you're not gonna be able to do that much but you just need to reach in Okay To yourself Alright man And release whatever energy you feel in there And just visualize it Just visualize what you want to happen It might not be much but it might be what we need So 2d6 plus your charisma for this Ooh Seven Oh okay Yeah So what does Billy do?

Okay so he throw he whips the cloak off Cause he needs Hi-yah Hi-yah And then he blasts his hands out and they start warming up really hot And glowing like cool colors And then a shield starts to um build up from the ground to To cover like to pull Tuck and um Shathane back Oh no that's a lot You get one well cause this is a seven to nine Oh shoot So you're not gonna get exactly what you want and it's also not gonna be much cause Billy's not practiced he's not he hasn't trained Yeah below I'm safe Okay fine uh okay so the shield comes up from the ground but it is mostly just around me So I have to like run over to Shathane Okay yeah so you've got this like uh like what color is there's like a little shimmering in the air It's like pink and unicorn colors And unicorn colors Unicorn is a color in this world Yeah Uh yeah so Billy's covered in this like or he's got this shimmering little pink and lightly colored sparkly field in the air in front of him Yeah And he is pushing through the swarm like uh get out of here And it's not it's not holding up super well Okay But it's enough that you're not getting stung Uh huh And you see what looks like a fairly safe opening just to the side of where she's standing And that's where Shathane is Okay let's get in there And you're able to tug Shathane Shathane you're being stung a little bit Yeah But it's not too bad Billy yanks you into this uh little opening And Perel in his tiny form patters along on the ground through you like batting at wasps and stuff like that And Tuck you see them run into the an opening near a hive Okay And um they're gone Oh wow And the some wasps are still kind of following them but they're still buzzing around you a lot Okay And so I want to address the wasps now Yeah And I go hey have you seen a guy named Ving around here Talking is not going to work with these things Uh They're not listening I make the noise that you make to attract cats Have you seen a Ving have you seen a Ving And it's like Just loud Hey hey have you seen a Ving Is this working at all Uh so you uh no it's not working at all Billy and Shathane you're in this tunnel Shathane you have to duck a little bit well quite a bit cause you're pretty tall Yeah Yeah and Billy you're running along And Perel stops and is like wait Tacoma's still out there I know but I don't have enough power to protect all of us out there Here I go You hear me far away going have you seen a Ving Yeah I think he's gonna be fine Uh Perel is like Can you do anything Perel can you save him I'll see what I can do And he runs off in his little tiny form And Tuck you're floating around there and through the swarm you see a little tiny fish With little tiny legs and arms start running out of the hive And you hear Well like he's fat he's a little bit fat Yeah he's like And you hear don't worry Tacoma I'm here to save you And just And his little feet flap along the tree He's not smart enough to change his form into something that's gonna potentially help him Well no they're ignoring him for the most part like he's small enough that they're not Yeah so he's being kinda quiet And he runs up and he grabs your Um grabs your pendant And starts running away with it Oh it's okay I had put it around my neck Oh okay so he goes And uh grows Just his legs So he's still small He grows these little legs so he goes like So he's got really thin really long legs Wow Spirit bodies are crazy Yeah And he grabs your pendant Thank you And then he starts running back towards the hole And I'm like you know you could've just asked me to put it like closer to the ground right as we're running And he's like shrinking his legs as he's running He's like we'll figure this out later And he runs into the hive Tuck you see as Perel is yanking you and he's like Tuck you see as Perel is yanking you and he's like Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god hive and they disappear from where they were but you hear the buzzing in the walls of the hive and stuff like that but for they are leaving you alone right now for some reason you're not entirely sure why but you're pretty sure that you don't have that much longer until they until they come back but now you're all in this tunnel tuck your body is floating through different parts of it in different spots like your arm is going through the wall and your leg is going through the floor but you're able to see everybody hey hi guys hey the plan did not work at all no that was a big waste of time in this tree this poor guy yeah sorry man the you saplings like sorry gary oh yeah you guys came to gary oh yeah we did yeah so um perel says what now bing is supposed to be in here isn't he is the makeup of this hive or the geometry geography obvious like I have this hunt and track uh oh so I'm thinking maybe if I could see we might yeah that's a great idea uh okay so go ahead and roll hunt and track are you just kind of looking around for any sort of clue yeah so uh follow a trail of clues left by passing creatures okay yeah go ahead 2d6 plus wisdom I think yep okay so 12 on a 10 plus you also choose one of a gain a usable bit of information about your quarry the gm will tell you what or determine what caused the trail to end you are looking around you are looking around the trail to end you are looking around the trail to end you are looking around the trail to end you are looking around the trail to end you are looking around the trail to in theme like it's there's holes all over the place and tunnels of different sizes going through some are no wider than like a thumb and the others are eight feet across and you're walking further into the hive there's not a ton of wasps in this part of the hive you hear the sound of the buzzing through the hive walls like they're all going to the same spot it seems uh you're not entirely sure why maybe they are worried about losing something you come to an area of the tunnel it's very dark in here well you're an elf though do elves see differently they they have improved visual perception but not not like seeing in the dark or seeing it but seeing like a low light or something like that yeah okay so it's not it's not pitch black because there's a lot of holes also I have the light crystal oh yeah that's true and billy has the crystal that glows and stuff yeah oh and perel glows a little bit oh yeah I forgot about that so he does glow and we got a glowing shield around us yeah yeah that's actually starting to um fizzle out yeah yeah yeah oh man I mean you have to do other stuff like you can't just sit there and focus on it if you wanted to sit there and focus you think you could hold it up for a little bit longer but like I'm getting tired and also I feel discouraged okay why are you feeling discouraged well because I I had big dreams of this shield and it's just this puny little like sheet of mist and I'm like wow perel puts his hand like on your I don't know on you somewhere because he's smaller than you at this point he said pick a spot on your arm yeah but like high up yep this will come with time billy your power will grow with time you know I thought that your shield was really pretty oh thank you and I I thought it was really cool what you did and you know what I think one day you're gonna be able to make a big one cool yeah great that's perfect uh so as you're you're walking through these hives you find a a juncture between two tunnels and you see uh disturbance like busted up hive and what looks like footprints humanoid footprints like they were dragged like not steps but someone was dragged through here and was kicking at stuff and busted up some of the hive can I discern realities to see if I recognize anything about the footprints or the drag marks or anything yeah go for it roll 2d6 plus wisdom fail god in heaven have you oh man this is why tacoma levels up so quickly because you fail so I try a lot of stuff and apparently I'm not good at rolling things oh man uh okay so I got a six I know oh I'll help someone could oh yeah that's true okay okay sure I know ving real well what is get down low on the ground where I already am I guess and then I'm just gonna look even more closely at the ground and see what happens to me I'm gonna take a look at the ground and see what's the footprints and smell them okay roll 2d6 plus your bond okay oh uh eight okay great so with a seven to nine you get one question from discern realities what happened here recently what is about to happen what should I be on the lookout for what here is useful or valuable to me who's really in control here what here is not what it appears to be um would what would it be what happened here recently is the best one uh you ask whatever you want man I'm just here to smell the mud okay yeah what did happen here recently you so you're looking at the size and the shape of the footprints and the the tracks and you see that most of it is drag marks like there was a struggle but you do see that at some point somebody just kicked out at the wall and just planted their foot in it and uh conveniently just a really clear footprint and yeah that is the size and shape of ving's boot print oh yeah these are totally boots somebody stole ving's boot but yeah so you get the idea this is this is ving's this ving was dragged through here let's go okay so you are following this trail of ving's drag marks down a tunnel that is growing and shrinking in size the way that an unusually shaped hive would and you do get to a point where the trail ends but because it goes straight up what there's a tunnel above you and it's going straight up and that seems to be the way it's going to go where ving was taken how floaty are you can I do it like a Spout Lore about no I already tried this well I was gonna say like there like you could try and figure you just haven't uh like I want to try and figure out how this works okay so I'm gonna roll a Spout Lore okay to figure out what the deal with ghost root is okay eight what plus what intelligence for spell or zero eight so something interesting useful ghost root as we have talked about is used in rituals for astral projection you've heard stories that it's all about thinking differently about how movement works and about how your presence and your place in the world works uh so how does that help takoma so I yeah I guess I remember this uh because there was one album I listened to that was written by an actual ghost and the whole thing was about how everything is backwards yeah and he's just like I he's like I don't drift through the world the world drifts through me uh that was one of the songs I'm in love with a man named jared is what that's not really relevant it's just a nice song it's just a good song yeah uh yeah you should check it out okay great so what does so takoma knows that if he wants to move he has to think about how the world will move around him yeah he suspects it takoma has finally realized that the entire world is moving around him and he's like I'm gonna move around him I'm gonna give you one more like defy danger to figure out if you can do this defy danger what wisdom wisdom I guess yeah okay yeah so 12 there it is there it is so after recalling this album written by a ghost which was called uh ghostly whalers great ghostly whalers is the name of the band yeah the ghostly whaling after remembering this ghostly whalers album name of the song or the name of the album is my name is ghost boy okay great after remembering the the the sophomore release of the ghostly whalers my name is ghost boy you remember you think about how you're supposed to move things around you in relation to that and you do that you feel yourself move semi-freely through the air you feel yourself move semi-freely through the air only thing is that you are now for all intents and purposes corporeal like you can still move up and down left and right side to side but you can't go through stuff and you can be hurt now you think okay yeah well I'm just gonna fly to the top of this thing okay oh can I bring billy with me uh oh yeah totally you could yeah oh fun yeah really getting my beard okay and also uh I guess perel who's there too I was like yes I am here yeah so you have the idea of the ghostly whalers I am still small fear not yeah and he climbs up your leg yeah yeah and he's hanging under your ankle and should I bring like this is gonna be if you if you're bringing more people it's gonna get tough okay well I'm gonna leave you down here for now do you have like a rope or something yeah I have adventure gear give me give me a rope from there uh yes okay okay and then I focus and I'm like I'm focusing on the world moving on the pipe or and moving down it looks like you are and uh you get to the t juncture at the top it goes to one side and the other side and it's dark up there but it's big enough that you can move around you got a rope at the top yeah and you're just holding on to it yeah I guess I'll just hold on to it I'm strong enough okay I think I'll have to climb up the rope I'll do that dope like wrap your leg around like you know how to climb a rope oh yeah yeah totally so yeah give me you give me a defiant interest strength all right 10 great zip zip zip like a pro and uh he yanks himself up the rope and you are now all in this little tunnel area and the trail I am just experimenting with the floating I'm just like spitting and stuff you're kind of walking it's it's almost like you're walking but you're you know like uh when somebody animates a walk cycle poorly it's like that your feet are moving too fast for how fast you're moving yeah I look at billy and I'm like hey check this out and I do a thing where I walk forward but I move back like check it out well it's really throwing me off yeah right nice that's great terry look whoa man that's crazy it's a dance move I made it up just now what's it called it's a space man oh it's so cool yeah it's so cool what's space that might be too much to get into right now all right yeah I was like so picture everything that you've ever learned or known all right it's the other stuff we should keep going okay uh so you are moving down this tunnel and the light is following you and the buzzing is getting louder and you get to a chamber of sorts and you come out pretty high up on the wall of this place and it's this big cavernous area and there are entrances to tunnels honeycombing all over the place there's structures coming up out of the floor almost like smaller hives it's just full and wasps are buzzing all over the place almost in like streams like rivers of wasps are flowing through the air in different directions and whoa yeah cool what do you do uh scan the area for ving yeah give me a discern realities sure uh nine nine okay so you get one question from the list okay what should I be on the lookout for well I guess ving I mean yeah that would be one way to think about it bill you actually have a lot of questions for me I'm gonna ask you a question I'm gonna ask you a question I'm gonna ask you a question I'm gonna ask you a question I'm gonna ask you a question I'm gonna ask you a question I've experienced with uh with bugs and bees and stuff you guys have experienced a lot of different kinds of bees and you know that um there is like a place where they feed things like they feed young or they they store food to be processed into honey or whatever places that they bring stuff that they enter the hive with so you'd be looking for something like that and you see that there are streams of wasps going in one like in directions that seem to be out of the hive but you see a lot of bees and you know that's a good thing because you know that's a good thing a couple more coming from different parts of the hive but they're going to the same spot let's go there yeah yeah so are you trying to creep through just trying to rush through well you guys have your camouflage yeah let's camouflage and creep real slow all of us roll uh yeah yeah okay 14 8 13 jeez louise can I take some of their points I did get 14 yeah you can just throw those in the throw those in the old pot so how do you sneak through this place um well I can fly so are there many wasps in the top part of this cavern they're less up there yeah yeah so maybe I like I go up and I take billy and perel with me okay uh and then I kind of tie the rope from before around my waist and then I tie him to me okay we're face to face I'm like come here yeah yeah by the lapels and I pull you close to me and I by the armored lapels yeah I'm like hold still and I tie this rope and I'll uh I'll uh pop the cloak and around us as much as I can and we'll and I'll use what's my partial camouflage skills I guess and we'll just sort of creep along trying to find pieces that will will match up my face is pushed up against and then I'm like oh my god that ghost root makes your breath smell like a badger's bum no it's always like that so you I don't brush my teeth on principle what why couldn't you have eaten peppermint root I could I because it it's fucking it burns like it burns on the inside oh yeah well this breath is burning the outside of my eyes do you have a piece of gum I just a second okay okay hey we're just doing this while we're sneaking oh yeah I have a little piece of peppermint root okay here you pop it in and then I'm like oh my god I'm like oh my god I'm like oh my god I'm like oh my god I'm like oh my god oh my god I have my eyes closed because of the burning I put it on your tongue and it kind of melts like a listerine strip well it kind of half went through your tongue because your tongue's not totally solid so I'm just like oh jeez so you're you're eating this peppermint root and uh it smells a lot better yeah way better it smells uh almost too strongly oh no because he did get an eight quick no wait kiss me no I'm not falling for that again kiss me come on yeah well the smell's coming out if you want it is if you could just keep your mouth closed for 30 seconds okay I reach over I reach over and cover uh uh tux mouth with my hands and I'm and I I squeeze them shut okay um well it wouldn't that I'm poking my tongue out in between his fingers no stop now oh my god okay because if you if you're trying to cover his mouth to get to the end of the video I'm gonna have to do it okay I'm gonna have to do it okay I'm gonna have to do it okay I'm gonna have to do it okay I'm gonna have to do it make sure that there's not too much smell that's not gonna be a roll because it's not at risk of missing his mouth or something like that but if you keep messing around the wasps are gonna smell you okay just shut up okay so billy saved the day as you two were fighting about kissing two tiny hands are on top of my lips so you're kind of bobbing through the ceiling of this hive now can anybody see well I'm like kind of laying on top of uh tux head so I can kind of see yeah okay and you're you're kind of poking out of shithane's cloak yeah the rest of it are cloaked okay so you guys are kind of bobbing around like a little blimp at a hockey game yeah yeah yeah and you're and billy's sort of like okay down down down down down right stop and tux just like bobbing along like this gray little cloud and uh you do you do see the area that the wasps are going into and thankfully one of the entrances is quite large so you think that you'd all be able to squeeze through there the problem is is that you're going to be trying to fit through and not alert any of the wasps that you're that you're there okay so what do you do I was thinking of cause fear again and maybe make them scared of something something that they would want to fight therefore they would go and try and attack that thing and therefore not be around so I don't know exactly how these spells work but we got this rope could we like throw that rope in the middle and like it's just make them just yeah and they could like maybe think it's a snake or something that they hate yeah so I'll uh I'll throw the rope away from where we are somewhere in this cavern like down into the bottom and then uh we'll attempt cast uh cause fear and make them scared of that so that they'll attack it and try and defend how's that sound yeah that's good so two d6 plus wisdom to cast a spell five and wisdom seven oh whoa nice just barely so with cast a spell on a seven to nine uh you choose one you draw unwelcome attention to yourself or put yourself in a spot the gm will tell you how you are casting distances you from your deity you take minus one ongoing to cast a spell until the next time you commune after you cast it the spell is revoked you cannot cast it again until you commune I think the last option it is revoked you can't cast it again until I commune with my deity if we ever get a chance um it's been pretty go go go yeah okay so what do you do you make the rope look like anything I'll make it look like uh like a snake or something that's invading the hive that they will all want to go and attack and defend against that's great so you see that the spirit energies like whip up around the rope and turn it into uh the appearance of a snake and it starts just like it's spitting and the wasps just go nuts they are swarming everywhere then there's a huge swarm the swarm that you met is now buzzing around and trying to sting this rope and it looks like it's clear so I float us in yeah so blimp tacoma floats through the hole there's a message scrolling across it says bye darlene I love you will you marry me well that's nice and uh bob bob bob float through and uh it gets darker in here but there's like little beams of light coming through the ceiling where you get the idea there's like like that's the top of this is just open air there's a lot of stuff in here that is weird there is piles of old food there's fruit and there's meat and there's bodies and uh you see you even see like the bodies of what look like spirits like there's like a boar that's bigger than any boar you've ever seen and it's just half eaten basically uh in one side and kind of papered over in a weird way a lot of the stuff has been like you know subsumed consumed by the walls of the hive you see what looked like um scattered all over the place like objects like from the material plane there's weapons like swords and shields and uh there's even some bones like human humanoid bones whoa you uh hear a buzzing further into this chamber like some wasps might have stuck around and uh you're floating through this weird storeroom slash graveyard you pass a pile of stacked objects like they took all of the things from the people that they brought in here and they stacked them up over here and they stacked up a bunch of bones over here and everything's sort of papered over in this weird way and you come over this hill where it starts to get lighter and lighter as the beams of light cross through and against the far wall you see a swarm of wasps buzzing around in this angry cloud and they seem very excited about something and as they get excited they're shrinking and growing and they're changing size of the swarm and bits are opening and closing and then they spread out a little bit more it's almost like each individual wasp is appreciating their handiwork and on the far wall of the chamber papered over in the dirty brown material of the hive you see ving and that's where we're going to end up so thank you so much for watching and I'll see you in the next video bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye by by by by by the dark by the dark by the darkness by the darkness!

Next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spell

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Welcome back to Spout Lore I'm your Game Master Sean H.

With me, playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz Hello Playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai Hi Playing Shathane the Elven Ranger, guest player Mark Robertson Hello When last we left our heroes, they were on the back of a giant fish horse Tearing ass through a spiritual plane that had been consumed by the spirit of fire Or a spirit of fire, we haven't decided How far are we away from Ving?

Well you have been told that Ving is in a place called the Dust Bowl In the hands or insecty legs of the spirit Wasp Okay And that's on the other side of this plane apparently You became unusual friends with three talking rocks Larry, Terry, and Chad And they told you that it looked like fire had ripped through this plane and burnt everything up So it's pretty blasted currently So you hopped on the back of a newly transformed Perel Who made his fish form a giant horse with super long legs that's really tall And you guys started tearing through the plane And the last thing that happened, the ghost root that Tacoma had eaten before you crossed over to the spirit world Started gurgling in your tum And then you started floating through people and dropping stuff And now you are floating in the middle of the…

You're just floating in the air Right, and we dropped Larry and Chad Yes, because Billy has Terry Yeah So Billy and Shathane, as you're going through this plane, you're going to be You're riding Perel through the planes Tac kind of phases through the two of you and floats off to the back And is now just hanging in the air, what do you do? I'm like, whoa… What happened? Are we still moving?

Oh yeah, you're still moving fast Oh my god Perel didn't notice that this happened Okay, I'm just gonna like slap Perel around to try to get his attention Okay, yeah, it works And then you hit him and he's like, what? What is it?

Tac did a thing and then I just point and I'm like, he's a ghost Perel turns his huge fish horse head like to the side and sees Tac floating He goes, okay Hey, I have no, I don't have any explanation for how this happened And he just says, just a second, we'll get him And he pulls a U-turn and starts heading back Perel in his fish horse form is getting pretty close What do you do? Can I like swim, can I what?

I'm gonna try and swim through the air towards the desert cavity You are not moving currently, you're just kind of kicking your arms and legs in the air To Spout Lore about this? Well, if you want to, so…

Yeah, I mean, there might be something in the history of all of the music I've listened to that talks about this About how ghost root works No, it's the spirit world, you can't just, no, no, no, no, no You don't know what's in music, you don't know all music that exists But see, the way that Spout Lore works is that you can't just, no, no, no, no, no, no The way that Spout Lore works is that it is based on the sort of things that your character would have learned about And if you say that everything's in music, then you just have carte blanche to do it with whatever you want Yeah, I do No, you wouldn't know anything about the spirit world But what about the actions of ghost root?

Yeah, would the music have any information about ghost root? It doesn't work like that The music Would the music Do you think that Tux has had any experience with weird roots like that?

Yeah, probably He's been on the road for a long time and he's done a lot of drugs Alright, why don't you, I mean, keep in mind that you are also opening yourself up to failure By just rolling for whatever you want Yeah, that's the point Okay, alright You can go ahead and roll 2d6 plus intelligence for Spout Lore Six I fail Six? You have a minus one intelligence?

No, I partially succeed Alright Your actual intelligence made you not add those numbers there So with a seven to six, you're good to go With a seven to nine, I tell you something interesting and it's up to you to make it useful Okay The only thing that you've really heard about ghost root is that it is used in spells and rituals to aid in astral projection Oh And it's usually used in pretty sparing amounts Ah Like you don't need a lot to do it and you ate an entire root Does that mean I have control over the spirit world?

I don't know Okay, well I looked down at Terry and Larry Uh huh, and they're like pretty far below you Larry and Chad Larry and Chad Yeah, Larry and Chad Cause Perel is pretty tall Yeah So they're like, I don't know, 20, 30 feet below you And I'm like, are you guys okay?

Yeah, man Uh, I'm gonna try and get you back And so I, I guess I try and will them into my hands Okay To like telepath them up Okay I don't know how astral projection works exactly No, you don't And so this would be a defy danger most likely, so defy danger wisdom I have plus one wisdom Three Cool, so cool Um, so okay, so you are just trying to will Larry and Chad into your hands Yeah Standing there, outstretched, really To use the power of astral projection And uh, nothing happens Come to me Larry and Chad The Perel horse comes up and is like, what are you, what's, what's happening, what's happening Hold on, I got this, I'm getting Larry and Chad Larry!

Chad!

As you're trying, he's like, uh, Perel looks at you doing this and says, I don't think that that's how this works Having control over the spirit world isn't something that someone from our plane can do As you're doing this, you catch out of the corner of your eye a flash of light And you look to the horizon or such as it is in the spirit world and you see where there was just smoke Now you see flames start to rise see flames start to lick up over the horizon and fire is approaching can can we like help him or anything like that yeah what do you want to try and do so I'm gonna get my cloak uh and then fold it up into like it's scoop shovel mode and just scoop those two rocks up like it's no big deal up so are you like it's no prel's really high up like is your cloak like 30 feet long yeah no it's all it's like uh you know you can fold it up into different shapes oh I see rope you can so you can fold it out into like a very long thing and put a little scoop on the end and just reach down and scoop them up like a like a lacrosse stick yeah what about this are you not understanding I mean I do like that his kind of cool cloak it's 35 I do but okay so you are pressed for time so this is gonna be a defy danger I'm trying to do it as as he's riding we're just gonna I'm just gonna scoop these things up just like when we used to play elf cavalry lacrosse back in the day so yeah 2d6 plus dexterity oh shit we're really I'm a little rusty we're really rolling a lot of failure so that's uh four and two six you pull so you do pull um a couple of the strings on your like you pull the pull the strings on your cloak to like lengthen it in a really weird way and you whip it down on this end that I guess is a little weighted or something like that everyone's like this is gonna be awesome this is gonna be great and um it uh wraps around a little blasted like a like a woody hard root sticking up out of the dirt near larry and chad and it wraps around it and it cinches tight most of those those lacrosse fields were cleared yeah I'm not used to playing different terrain I'm not a point of experience all right and perel like feels the tug and turns around and goes what are you doing trying to scoop up these rocks they're rocks we need to figure out this tacoma problem well I know he cares about the rocks so I could like what do you call it when you like use that like the closed line and then you like close line down this oh like zip line yeah I can zip line down to the ground and get these guys yeah do it okay you guys are pearls like you're really invested in these rocks huh hey it's larry and chad it's larry and terry and chad yeah and terry's terry's like still in billy's hands like yeah man we're not leaving him behind oh you're here still cool yeah I'm here I'm always here I'm always gonna be here okay let's do it so I defy danger dexterity because time is of the essence because fire is getting closer oh thank god uh I got 10 okay yeah sweet so how do you what do you zip line down on just like your hands um I have that like copper pin it's pretty small okay cloak then okay I'm gonna cloak on cloak this yeah oh nice yeah so I do that yep use wow wait holy shit that was cool yeah that was very cool so billy you hit the you hit the dirt yeah I say that to perl I was like that was cool he's like that was pretty cool yeah uh so you hit the dirt and larry and chad are like like 10 feet away chad what's the other larry so they're just like we're over here okay we're over here man okay cool terry's like oh larry chad I'm so happy to see you oh sweet okay so um you guys are just I'm gonna put them in my bag oh man I thought we lost you forever it's okay you guys kiss kiss the bag and perl so yeah you're on the ground I'm like did you get larry and chad that's the most important thing right now I got them all okay thanks bill can I can I haul the uh haul the cloak back up with her on the end yeah if billy was to like uh billy was to like untie the cloak from the thing do that yeah so it was just like in a clove hitch so you can just like unwind it so yeah and then and billy gets yanked back up on the cloak and perl is looking disappointed in everybody yeah well it's good that we avoided that problem and now I guess we're done here or what well we would be except for that and he points and there's like a raging inferno approaching like and it's getting very close okay you guys run it doesn't look like we can move tacoma can I try something yeah perl let's get behind tuck and then just we all blow oh yeah uh he perl says oh it's better than dealing with these rocks for any of us I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't so this is gonna be a defy danger of some kind okay I think it's I think it's probably still wisdom like trying to figure out what'll work in the spirit world and I guess your thing could aid or something like that yes for sure because I got I got six so I need some help 2d6 plus whatever however many bonds you have with billy tan okay so that makes billy's success a seven on a seven to nine you get something close to what you wanted or a hard bargain Tacoma, you're kind of like trying to turn around in the air to like figure out what the best angle for this would be.

Perel walks around to the back and everybody starts blowing and nothing happens. Like nothing. The blowing doesn't do anything. But what you do. It was a good try. Thank you. What you do notice when Perel moved around and Tacoma was like trying to swing around to the right side. Perel started. He went through a big chunk of Tacoma, but his pendant bumped against Perel. As he went through. Tuck's pendant? Tuck's necklace. My amulet? Yeah, it bumped against Perel as he moved.

So Perel notices that and he's like, oh, okay. And he grabs like he sticks his mouth forward or his little koi fish mustache on the front of his horse snout. Like he reaches out a little tendril and wraps it around your pendant. And it holds. It goes through the pendant, but it holds on something inside. Cool. And he tugs it and he's able to move you around a little bit like a little kite. Oh, is it the obsidian coin that he's grabbing onto? Who can say? Oh, cool.

And he says, okay, I guess this is how we're going to do this. Sick. And then, okay, I hold on to the strap of the pendant with one hand. Yeah. I was like, fucking hit it, fish horse. And he goes back up on his hind fish legs and goes. Woo! And kicks his front little fish flipper legs in the air or his super long fish flipper legs. And then you guys start tearing ass again. And then again, I am like. Woo! Fish horse! Yeah! Billy, from your bag, you hear Larry Terry Jack going. Yeah! Fish horse!

And just in time, because fire is close. It has definitely noticed you guys and is chasing you down. Whoa, what a hungry fire. I am not into this. And Perel is ripping ass. But it's getting close. What do you do? I mean, butter moth still looks fireproof. But it's not going to. We don't have enough between you and me to cover the horse and all three of us. Do I feel the heat from the fire? You don't, actually. Yeah, I think I'm fine. I don't think I need to be covered in anything.

We can ask Perel if he thinks that the fire is going to burn him or just us. As Perel's running, he says, I'm not 100%. Sure, but I would hazard it'll burn all of us. I suppose we could just ask it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And then so I guess I turn to the fire and I'm like, hey, hot boy. And it just you hear the crackling of a forest fire. The voice inside just go, I will consume you. Yeah, you will, you sexy hot boy. I'm trying to seduce it into not. Oh, my God. This is the move I'm making.

Don't judge me. You will be consumed. And then I take the ghost guitar from my back and I'm like, oh, hot boy. Hot fire boy. You so hot. You so hungry. You want to eat some chips? You're also. We don't have chips. You have to hold on to the pendant with one hand if you want to move. I'm a very good guitar player. So you're strumming tunelessly. Yeah, I guess. He's tuned in drop D, so he's just playing. It's just. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So I guess I'm playing a bass riff. Yeah. That is one note. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what do I roll? Is there. Oh, you're actually. Is there a role for this bass riff to seduce this fire? My God. Let's do it. Oh, man. You're trying to seduce this fire. Usually that would obviously not work. But this fire obviously has. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a great ability to communicate. So you can talk to stuff that can communicate with you. Yeah.

So roll a 2d6 plus charisma. And you're actually just trying to. You're just playing a song and trying to seduce the fire. Yeah. I'm telling it how hot I think it is. Wow. Six. Can someone help me? Yeah. I'll sing along. Oh, yeah. We're going to harmonize. Yeah. Sure. Okay. Beautiful. Beautiful. So tall and so hot. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Okay. It's probably your best work. So 2D6. You have to roll. Oh. Yeah, roll 2D6. Roll 2D6. You can't just keep singing.

Plus the number of bonds you have with Tacoma. We fail. No, no, no. Hold on now. Nine. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. That makes it a seven to nine. Wow. It's a partial success. It's a partial success. You're seducing this fire. No, you do not seduce the fire. Well, you don't think you're seducing the fire. You get the idea that it is fire and it is perhaps unseducible. But what it does do is it slows down a little bit because it is confused. Awesome. You start playing and you're like, oh, it's working.

And you just hear the fire going. What? I will consume you. And I go, yeah, you're going to consume my body with your sexy, sexy flames. Maybe you want to eat something else. And then I point in the opposite direction. So it's just slowing down. It pulls back a little bit, trying to regroup. And it just gets, you see it like, it just flares up. Like it backs off. Like what? And then it just goes, no. I will consume you. But Perel by that time has started to move forward a little bit.

We're still in trouble though, right? Oh yeah, you're still in trouble. You're not out of the woods yet. I don't know. I feel like it. I think that it's into it. I feel like I've resolved the situation. Yeah, I feel like this fire is into me now. Try cause fear spell. Oh yeah, you still have cause fear. 2d6 plus wisdom to cast a spell? Yeah. 10. Man, oh man. Okay, so how cause? Fear works is you pick an object that it is afraid of. What about the rocks? Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

There's these specific three terrifying hand-sized rocks. Okay. So you got it. Friendly names. You do. You do got to pick one of them. Which one's the one that was glowing? Terry was glowing. All right. Yeah. Terry, let's get you out of the bag, man. He's the most obvious. What's cracking guys? Just nothing. Just want to see how you're doing. And just. Told you out here in obvious view of this terrifying. And then you. Spirit that's attacking us. And then.

You just imbue him with some sort of fearful presence. Yeah. He starts to look like something that the fire would be very, very afraid of rather than his. We can't really see what's going on, but I can kind of, but it's not obvious to everybody else. Yeah. What's fire afraid of? He's like a giant bucket of water. Like a huge with. It's so. It's like an old rickety wooden bucket and water's leaking out of the edges and it's tipping over and flowing.

And it looks like it's just for sure going to dump on them and it's just getting bigger and big. It's bigger than Purell. And it's just now it's like the size of the sky. It's like a huge, a huge bucket of water. Oh yeah. Bucket of water in the sky. Almost like rain. Maybe. No, no, not that. No, it's like an object. It's like a, it's not a, it's not like rain or a cloud or a spirit type world thing. It's like this terrifying. Like. Yeah. Physical. Bucket. Man made. Bucket. Fire destroyed.

Fire destroyed. Fire destroyed. Fire destroyed. Fire destroyed. Bucket. Bucket full of water. Wow. Okay. This reminds me a lot of my fever dreams. So the fire. And I think, I think the rock kind of knows like he's like, what the fuck? Yeah. Terry's like, oh yeah. Yeah. You want a cup of good pizza? You want a bucket of fire? I don't know if he knows what a bucket is, but he's like, he knows he's something. He said, yeah, you better get away from here. These are my pals. And the fire started.

I started going. Oh, no. Oh, I will not be consumed. It still wants to consume you, but it is unable to get close enough to be an actual concern. Holy shit. Is Terry scaring the fire? Terry, keep doing whatever you're doing. Yeah. You better run. You want a piece of this, man? Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That's Terry. That's not my spell. Man. I think we should give three cheers for Terry for getting rid of this fire. Yeah. Hip everybody. Hip hip. Hooray. Hip hip. Hooray. Terry. Terry. Terry.

Larry and Chad are like, Terry. They're really into it. And Perel's like, he's still running, but he's like, Terry. And I'll just grab the reins on this giant fucking horse and they'll be able to ride except me because of my masterful horse skills. I'll just get my head down and keep working, I guess. So you start pulling on stuff that looks like reins and Perel's like, ow, ow. Okay. I'll just let off a little bit, maybe.

He's still moving pretty fast because something this tall kind of has to if it's moving, but it's not a super dangerous situation anymore. And actually, as you're moving across the planes and Perel's casting his head about trying to figure out what the fastest way to get across this sort of indeterminately sized plane is, other spirits are coming within the vicinity of safety that you have created. Oh, which ones? There is a big… There's a big jackrabbit, like a huge rabbit. Cool. Cool.

And it starts patting alongside of you and it kind of gives a nod, like, thank you. Oh. And there's a snake, like a big snake, and it's just like… Cool. And a… What's another desert-y animal? Like a scorpion. Kangaroo. A kangaroo and a scorpion. Both of them. There's like a big kangaroo hopping along and a scorpion scuttling along, and they're just sort of voicing their thanks for creating an area of safety. And they're walking with you. Cool. Yeah.

I guess we can thank that rock for creating that area. Yeah. And then we go, it's all Terry. He's like, no, I was just doing what I could do, you know? I live to serve, yo. No, Terry, you're special. You're a special rock. And also Chad and Larry, you're special too. Yeah. Thanks, man. And you, I'm sure you figured out that we're like, we're all part of one unified consciousness. Anyway, what are we doing now?

Perel is just kind of sauntering now because the fire is just sort of a piece of the scenery now. It's not coming any closer to you. So as you move, it's just sort of a static presence and all the spirits are walking along with you and you're kind of getting tugged along, still tuck like a kite. I guess I want to talk to the rest of the spirits now. Okay. Do you guys know how close we are to the dust bowl? We're looking for our friend Ving. Wasp has him.

The rabbit sort of goes, oh man, you guys got to go to the dust bowl. That sucks. The dust bowl sucks. It's on the other side of the plane. But he's got, Wasp has got him. Wasp is a bad thing. Do you guys need some help? Need some help? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. These people need some help. They're stuck here. And the scorpion's like, I don't know. Should we help him? The kangaroo is not saying anything. Do we have any leverage over these? No, do an Australian accent. Why would I do an Australian accent?

Because it's a kangaroo. Crikey. You don't know what, you don't know where kangaroos come from in this world. I'm going to do, I'm going to do an accent from the region. Of this planet where kangaroos come from in our fantasy world. Oh my God. Hi, welcome. Whoa. I come from a land where kangaroos are fairly common. They're from the Pacific Northwest. Wow. They're from the West Coast? They're from Langford? What's up, everybody? Welcome to the exotic land of kangaroos.

Just out for a fucking rip, bud. Just out for. Yeah, just out for a rip on these kangaroos, bud. This fucking fire came in. It's going to. Fucking kill me or whatever. Right. Just fucking. You guys like came with your giant fucking fish horse. Let's just fucking pull up in the Timmy's over there and get a fucking double double. You know what I'm saying? Fucking help you, dude. I need some help. Yeah. No.

If anybody listening is not from the West Coast of Canada, that's what some people sound like. That's how every small town in the whole world. That's true. That's true. And it's weird because it's just like sometimes people that you know that don't talk like that will just start talking like that one day. And then that's just their voice. Yeah. And then, yeah, you leave them behind. So. And then they start a construction company.

$200,000 a year and have a beautiful wife and two awesome kids that are great at hockey. Anyway, let's move on. So the the spirits sort of decide amongst themselves that, well, you've done them a solid by saving them from the fire and they'll they'll help you get across the plains. It takes. Again, it's interesting because I keep thinking about it in terms of like how our world works, but it's not really the same here, I guess. No, because in our world, time is a product of motion.

The two are like time and entropy are tied to one another. But I guess in the spirit world, motion is inconsistent. Yeah. Motion is inconsistent. And entropy is not one of the fundamental laws of this plane of existence. So that means time doesn't exist in the same way. So you move and you travel for a while. The jackrabbit and the scorpion and the snake and the kangaroo. Just kind of chatting amicably with you. Do you guys have any questions? Do you have any questions for the spirits?

Have you guys ever seen, met or dealt with wasp before? The scorpion clacks its claws a little bit. Yes, I've dealt with wasp before. Can you elaborate on that? Yes, I can. Well, OK. And I'm going to. Cool. I am all ears. Proceed with the elaboration. Every time I pause, you speak. OK, go ahead. I speak. All right. I'm just about. Tell us when you're starting. Wasp is bad. It's in wasp's nature to take and to build, defend. But wasp defends against everything. Everything is an enemy to wasp.

So if you encounter wasp, know that you are an enemy. There is little negotiation with wasp. Is there a consensus among all the other spirit animals about this? The jackrabbit's like, yeah, no, I've had a couple of dealings with wasp. I don't really like wasp that much. That's why I kind of stick to the planes. Wasp is mostly in the dust bowl. I stick around here. It's more fun out here for me. And the kangaroo is like, fuck it, hey, bud.

He's like, yeah, one time I fucking had some cocaine and wasp. Like, he fucking just came and took it. Fucking guy. Yeah, the kangaroo. The kangaroo. Guy's a fucking dick, man. Yeah, he's like, oh, wasp is a fucking goof, bud. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. Fucking wasp, bud. No, thanks. Right, bud? Kick rocks. Fuck. And the rocks are like, what? Kick what? Oh, yeah. Yeah, Terry is still like all high and mighty.

He's like, kick what? You want to come over here and say that, man? You want to come over here and say that? I love these rocks. I just say that to these guys. It's like, I fucking love these rocks. And they've definitely, or the rocks are definitely taking on like Tuck's mannerisms. Like, they're calling people Tuck. Like, they're calling people man. And like, being really, really casual and jocular. Are they just trying to pick up everything that moves as well?

Is that a little, the little rock pickup artist? Is that their jam? They're really, they're really, yeah, they're absorbing a lot from you. I give Chad a tiny copy of the book, The Game. Ugh. Ugh. Yeah, Chad flips through a couple pages and says, I don't know, man. I think this is based on a lot of misogynist rhetoric. And so this. Wow. He's pretty woke. He's absorbing a lot from other people as well. Not just me. Right, okay. He got the woke from me. Yeah. And yeah, so everyone mostly agrees.

Scorpion says, a lot of people have had problems with me as well. But even I know that Wasp is not to be trifled with. Clack, clack. Clack, clack, clack. Okay. Does he have any specific weaknesses we can exploit? Or like wants or needs? Hmm. That's a great question. Yeah, so they're on. So some. Wait, what's up? Oh, I just. I. I'm planning a trick in my head. Okay. Wasp. Okay. Yeah. That's a good. That was a good planning sound. But she can't tell you. Billy, what is it? Nothing.

Yeah, Billy has the worst possible poker face when he thinks of a lie. And he's just like. You ask, like, does Wasp have any specific weaknesses? And you get the idea that they're all unwilling to give that up. And I was like, what? What if we traded that piece of information for a gift? All right. They like coins and stuff, right? Yeah. Okay. So instead of deciding if somebody is into it, you're going to roll a parlay.

It was mostly the guides in the interface or the area that you call the interface that like gifts from the material plane. But all spirits are interested in that because it's, you know, like anybody. They're like, oh, this is from far away. Yeah. So you can. This would be potential leverage, but we'll see how it works with a successful failure. Nine, ten, eleven. Okay. So it will work. What are you offering? I'm offering a story to Scorpion from my world.

It is one of the oldest stories in McCall. Wow. At first, Scorpion's like. It's a story called the Scorpion and the Frog. Hmm. He clacks his clacks. It's pinchers a little bit. Very well. I will help you for this story. Okay. How does it go? In the old days of the world, before the interface between the spirit world and the material plane was created, Scorpion and Frog met on a riverbank and Scorpion asked Frog to ferry him across the river.

But Frog was scared because he was worried that Scorpion would sting him while he was taking him across the river. Scorpion promised he would not. Why? Because. Because if he stung Frog during their crossing, they would both die. So Frog agrees and Scorpion gets on Frog's back and he starts moving them across the river. And when they are halfway across the river, the Scorpion stings the Frog anyway. And as the Frog is dying, he asks Scorpion why he did it.

And Scorpion says, because it was in my nature. Scorpion is quiet. And then he clacks his claws a few times in succession and says, I like that story, stupid Frog. I feel like you missed the point of the story. No, the point of the story is sting a frog if you have the chance. Okay. Whatever. It is the nature of scorpions to sting. Frog should have known that. Very well. I will help you. Bill, you understand the point. You understand the point of that story, right?

This is a teachable moment that I'm using for my surrogate son. No, I don't understand it. It's like you should always try to help people, but be careful of accidentally killing them when you're helping. No, no. It's from the Frog's perspective. Okay. So help people. Resist the urge to help because they will kill you. No. That's it. Afraid. Perel turns his head. Be very afraid. Yeah. Perel turns his head when Billy says that and said, yeah, the moral of the story is work alone. No. That's. No.

It's. Helping is good, but. You can't trust anyone except yourself. No, it's not that. It's just be aware of the nature of others. Billy, remember that. Yes. Wait. What are you going to remember? Stereotypes are good. No. Generalize. No. No. No. Make assumptions and then stick with them. No matter what. No. Scorpion says, sting a frog. Frogs are dumb. No, you're missing the point. No, there's nothing. Don't. It's about helping. Don't help.

Well, I will help you because I was delighted by this story. Yeah. Stupid frogs. Yeah. Thank you, Scorpion. Yeah. Scorpion. Awesome. They are awesome. That story is great. Thank you. So let's. You know what? Let's us talk about it. What's. What would be a weakness? Of wasps. What is a weakness of wasps? They love food. They love sugar. Like when you go camping and you leave out your Pepsi bottle and then it's like, oh, yum, yum, yum. And then you can trap the wasp in that. That's stupid wasp.

And that was the wapple trees suggested you take a wapple and use it to lure wasp out. Oh, do we have that still with us? Yes. Who has it? You? Me. Okay. But they also, they just attack anything. Not like a bee will defend. But the wasps go on the attack. They are aggressive to a fault. Right. They're only passive aggressive. Like if you live with a wasp, it won't say, hey, could you do the dishes? But when it puts a dish in the sink, it will go. Oh, my God. Yeah. And also they. Yeah.

They never. There's never direct conflict with a wasp. They leave a lot of post-it notes on stuff. Yeah. But when they're at work, so you get home and they're not there. And then you see all this angry stuff. And you're like, why didn't they just say this? They're also very concerned with status. Yeah. And like, it's like, hey, I have a like, look at my boat shoes. I'm part of a country club. Yeah. Yeah. And they'll also like buy milk and say, hey, I bought milk. You owe me a dollar 70. Yeah.

And they will unload the dishwasher, but they'll do it loudly. Yeah. So loud. It's like, look, I can't just keep pausing the show because you decided that you're mad now. You don't even. I don't even drink milk. God. Yeah. Why do you buy a four liter? You're the only person that drinks it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, all right. So, what is. So, are we.

Are we saying that a weakness of wasps would be aggressive to a fault? Yeah. Passive aggressive to a fault. Aggressive to a fault. So, like, I guess, like, it's not. They are not cautious. They're not. They'll instantly attack whatever's coming after. Yeah. Wasp isn't canny. They're not a planner. It's just attack, attack, attack. Is that a weakness or is that a threat for you? Well, it would be a big problem. It would be a big problem if I was corporeal and also didn't have the move.

What are you waiting for? Can I. Oh. Right. Can I also add to your plan of what are you waiting for with my secret plan? I have this wapple and then I could make some golden root and I could, like, fill it with golden root. So, it attacks this wapple and then it gets the golden root and then it has to trust us. Nice. Oh. Yeah. Do you still have golden root? Because it would be hard to make here. I think I have to make it. I just need ginger. That's all I need.

Do you think that it would be as easy to make here with spirit ginger? It's not the ginger. It's because water carries magic and Billy has the ability to manipulate it. And even when Billy was describing how he made it, he said explicitly, I have to mash it until I get really sweaty and then it works. Uh-huh. So, I guess I could use pretty much anything that I have to, like, work at for a bit. Mm-hmm. Okay. I think the big question is spirit ginger or spirit Marianne. What is that?

Mark, you're trying to make a Gilligan's Island reference to millennials. I'm trying to pull people in their 20s. No, I'm trying to get another, like, old folks homes will be playing this podcast. When you look at your stats on iTunes, you'd be like, wow. Holy cow. The 60 to 80s were killing it. That one Gilligan's Island reference really paid off. They all gather around the old radio and the old folks. Yeah. That's where they had the radio.

I mean, I will say that I did get the reference, so don't worry. Yeah. I got it, too. But we wanted to be shitty about it. Because we're millennials. That was the whole point of the reference. Okay. You're welcome. Interesting. Interesting. So, Perel does say anything that we found that resembled the ingredients you need here would be materially different because it is spirit. Okay. So, you'd… Effectively be trying to make a poison or a substance out of a sentient plant. Oh, no.

Do I have to murder? I mean, technically. What if we only take, like, a piece off of the plant? What about… So, I take, like, the little tree off of my back and I'm like, can I have a leaf? It kind of shakes a little bit. Like, it's scared. Oh. I pet it, I guess. Okay. We can… I mean, this could be a parlay as well. Okay. So, to be 2d6 plus charisma, what are you offering the plant? I'll plant you somewhere really beautiful. You get the idea that it stops shaking and it's like, ooh.

I'll plant you at the top of a hill with some sunshine. And you'll be the only tree on that hill. And then you can make your own forest and watch it grow. Yeah. I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately. All right. Roll it. Roll it. You idiots. There are more One Tree Hill references in this podcast than probably in One Tree Hill. Yeah. I got 10. You got 10. Okay. The sapling shakes a little bit happily. Like… Okay.

It drops a couple leaves onto the dirt of the little bag that it's in. Thank you. And I kiss it and I put it back on my back. So, you have some leaves. Okay. This is gonna… We'll see. So… Yeah. Yeah. So, I think I want to make this a roll as well. Sure. Do you want to hold off until we actually execute to see if… Yeah. Sure. Yeah. That's true. We can wait. So, you do it. Billy smushes the leaves until it's the paste. Yeah. You're kind of sweaty. I'm really sweaty.

Especially because it's a smoky area. And there's a huge sentient fire nearby. Yeah. Yeah. So, you have a little paste. What's the fire doing? It's staying away. I look at it. I'm like, you good? And I give it a thumbs up. I will consume. Yeah. So, basically the same. Yeah. You have a little paste that seems like it's very similar to what you use for Golden Root. And yeah. So, you move a little bit further.

The jackrabbit hops up over this little rise that goes too high and too low at the same time. It's very hard to look at. It's a very hazy sort of end. It shifts and moves even as you look at it. And jackrabbit hops up and says, yep, this is the place. This is the edge of the plains. You guys made it. You made it. Yeah. Everybody made it. Thanks for your help. Really appreciate it. If you guys need anything else, we will be around forever because we are eternal. Okay. Bye. Thanks, jackrabbit.

Zips away. That guy seemed like he was on White Root. Yeah. Yeah. And you move over the edge and you see that the plain goes away, dips down way far. And it's just where this was like burnt grass and bushes and all that sort of stuff. This is just decayed almost. There are plants blowing around. There's piles of sand and grit and dust blowing around in little dust storms, little dust devils. And it goes on and on and on. What do you do? I guess this is where wasp should be.

Do you just keep walking in? Yeah. Yeah. Perel keeps leading you in. His footsteps are kicking up dust everywhere he steps. You get to a narrow pass between what looks like rough, rocky, like dirt colored walls, like high cliffs that go even higher than Perel. They move in. They move in and out at a weird angle. Can someone tie the wapple to like my amulet that is the only corporeal part of me? Okay. Yeah. I'll do that. Okay. Yeah. Billy. Billy attaches the wapple with the chain. Yeah.

So you got this wapple hanging from the chain and it's slowly pulling you down. Oh, okay. Well, but someone hold me up until we get to the place I need to be. And you are, you walk a little bit further in and Perel is looking around nervously. Something seems off. Can we discern realities? Yeah, absolutely. Who wants to do that? Sure. So discern realities is 2d6 plus wisdom. Yuck. Six. Does anybody want to aid or anything? Can someone help me? Yeah. I'll aid. How's Billy aiding?

Also just looking around? Yes. With my eyes. 10. Okay. So that makes it a seven instead of a six, which is spectacular. And on a seven to nine, you get to a six. Okay. Okay. Okay. So you get one question from the list. So the questions are what happened here recently? What is about to happen? What should I be on the lookout for? What here is useful or valuable to me? Who's really in control here? What here is not what it appears to be? I think what is about to happen here.

So Perel leads you a little bit further into this pass and it opens up in an uneven oval, a fair distance on either side, and the walls are lumping out and twisting in weird ways. There's whirls and spirals in the surface of the walls. And it's then that you realize that you're in a place where you're not supposed to be. And you realize that these aren't rock walls. This is a hive. And that's where we're going to end it this week. For Spellt Lore, I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara.

And with me have been playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Like you fucking just came and took it. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. So for a fucking rip, bud. Playing Shathane, the elven ranger, Mark Robertson. Bye. Thank you to Aaron Reed of Vancouver Sunday Service for our awesome intro and outro music. And thank you to Mark, MP, Carter, and Will for tolerating us recording in their basement. And thank you to you for listening.

Feel free to check us out on Twitter at Spellt Lore. On Facebook at Facebook.com slash Spellt Lore. And on Instagram at Instagram.com slash Spellt Lore. Thanks for listening, everybody. Bye. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3. Who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though hard to see. And though hard to see. And though hard to see. And though hard to see. And though hard to see. Our journey may be like a conclusion.

We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I gladly Spout Lore. Fucking A, bud.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Welcome to Spout Lore, I'm your Game Master Sean O'Hara With me as always, playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai Hello!

Playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz Hello!

And playing Shathane, the Elf Ranger, guest player Mark Robertson When last we left our heroes, they were traveling through the forest of one tree With Perel, the spirit of a wizard, trapped in the body of a spirit fish They had followed the tracks of the tree that Shathane scared off at the end of last session To the source of the forest, which is the forest of the halfling thief Which is an enormous tree called You, who told you that this tree You told You?

You's on first, let's just get out of the way So You told You, all, told all of you people that this tree in the forest was them but also their children And they wanted you to take a sapling, which you now have in your possession, and plant it somewhere nice And we named it Gary Gary Oak Because Abdul names everything Gary By…

It's honestly not intentional You know, I know, it's the only name that exists In my mind, yes And told you that Ving was apparently in the presence or possession of a spirit called Wasp Which, knowing the way the spirit world works, could very well just be a big ol' wasp, who knows Yeah And explained to you that you had to travel through the forest, to the hills, to the plains And on the other side of the plains would be the nest of Wasp, which is where Ving is apparently And…

We can take care of that whole journey with a Perilous Journey roll Something to consider when you're figuring out the rules that you'll take during the Perilous Journey roll is that Shathane will succeed Regardless? Regardless Okay Yeah So, as we've said, the rules are Quartermaster, Trailblazer, and Scout Oh, Trailblaze Trailblaze? Yeah Scout? Scout, Quartermaster The traditional roles Yes Oh, but first, Billy, do you want some granola?

Yes, please Yeah, okay Okay, there you go Thanks I lean down and I like pop it into his mouth Yeah, you get the sensation of eating, but your hunger is still kind of there Huh But you still feel satisfied having chewed on some granola I close my eyes and I like pretend really hard like I'm still eating granola Okay And I'm like, maybe I'll be full after this Yeah, maybe, maybe Okay, so yeah, everybody roll 2d6 plus your wisdom Okay 11 Ooh 9 9, okay, perfect And Shathane gets a 10 10 plus Yeah, so like you get to the edge of the forest with the identical yew trees all the way down At the edge as you cross out into a very bright day that contrasts pretty sharply with the extremely dark night you just walked out of Whoa Whoa At the edge of the yew forest, yeah, it is extremely bright now Wow Oh my god Yeah The light that Perel was casting dims significantly Holy shit And even he's blinking his like spirit eyes like, whoa, I hate this place I don't know, I kind of like it, I'm getting into it It's just It's like, there's this thing you can do where like you can go to like a play called the Enchanter of Zo and there you can bring an album with you and you can play it at the same time and the album syncs up, it's wild, it's how this place makes me feel Okay Yeah I'll have to check it out when I have a body in the real world Yeah, I was kind of telling these guys, you were just sort of overheard that Alright, well, I'll just go fuck myself then Yeah, you should So you are in an area with like rolling hills and you see a hill rise up in front of you Not super high, maybe like 40 feet, like it's sort of a steep walk but not so steep that you couldn't do it And right at the top it just is like a solid wall of mist Hmm, okay, are there any rocks around me?

Yeah, there's just like a rock on the ground Okay, so I take it Rock goes, hey, hey Oh, are you alive? Yeah, this is a spirit world I put that one down, I pick another one up What are you doing? Oh, you're alive too This is a spirit world, what do you think? Okay You just can't come and walk and grab people? Okay, I'm sorry This guy's just picking people up, he's just gonna throw people around I'm sorry, I'm just gonna do one thing, okay?

Okay Okay, and then I kiss the rock, I'm like, you're cute And then I throw it into the mist And it goes, poof And like a little, it punches right into the cloud Cloud goes, poof Hole opens and then closes back up And then I pick up another rock But you see the rock rolling down the hill, like out of the bottom of the cloud Okay Oh, oh god And then it comes back down to the bottom Well, it's definitely not gonna kill us for going into it Sure, okay But what it is, it's a spirit world It's a spirit world It's a spirit world It's a spirit world It's a spirit world It's a spirit world You see a grove of other trees that are growing a little bit more wildly.

And on the branches, you see big fat fruits that you recognize as waffles. Waffles! Okay, I run over. Oh, sick! Yeah. Well, Billy, are you on the back of Perel and do you jump off? Yeah, I jumped off and I yelled waffles. So Billy's running off to these waffle trees in the distance. I can't quite… It's been a while since we've talked about waffles. Did we decide that they're like big purple apples? Yeah, absolutely.

So they're these big fat purple apples, almost as big as Billy's head these ones are. Wow. And you see the trees are moving and you hear them talking to each other. They're like, yeah, so this crop's coming in pretty well, don't you think? I like the way these ones look. These ones… Oh, look at this one. This one, you know, it's small now, but I think it's really going to come through. I think it's really going to come through. Excuse me. And they kind of go, oh, a person. Yes. Hello.

My name is Fat Billy. I see you have many waffles. Can I have one, please? Oh, I don't know. You know, we were just… It's nice to meet you, Billy. My name is Waffle. This is Waffle. This is Waffle. And back there, that's Waffle. Oh, wow. Nice to meet you. And they're all like, oh, yeah, yes. Hello. Hello. Nice to meet you. So you're hungry. Yes. Interesting. We don't get many waffles. Folks around here that eat in the way that you people usually do.

But like my mother, Waffle, always used to say, you have to be kind to those in need. I'm so in need. I have one. And Waffle, like, brings down a branch with just the fattest, juiciest looking waffles you've ever seen. Oh, my gosh. And shakes a couple loose and plop, plop, plop, plop. Four big old waffles right on the ground. Oh, my goodness. That is too kind of you. Oh, it's nothing. It's nothing. You know, if you give, you shall receive. But that's not what it's about.

That's not what it's about. It's just about, no, that sounded sinister. A lot of us spirits, we're not used to conversing with humans. A lot of the things that we say can sound sinister, but they're not. I guess at this point we have caught up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, more people. And they're like, ooh, look. Oh, wow. Wow. These trees have an unusually sunny disposition. I like it. Yeah, it's just, you know. The nature of the waffle tree is to give and sustain. Cool. I like that.

And, Billy, you figured out the hook style you have to believe to play the game. So you bite into that waffle. Oh, it's so delicious. Wow. What do waffles taste like? A plum. Oh, it was like a plum apple, wasn't it? I thought so. Or like a grapple or something. Yeah. I think it was a grapple. Like a grape apple, yeah. So, oh, it's so good. And you actually feel you are eating it. Oh, my gosh. Like, unlike the granola earlier. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

Which you're like, okay, maybe that means that, like, it's not actually granola, but it's like a projection of granola. You know what I mean? You're kind of thinking about the weird spirit world. But this spirit waffle, oof, it's going down good. Cool. Yeah. I ate it all. Okay. Waffle's gone. Yeah. I guess I pick one up. I'm like, Billy, do you need another one or can I have this? You can have it. Okay. I eat it. Also, my pockets are full of rocks. The rocks are like, hey, what's going on?

Yeah, because it's, I don't know. It's nice. They seem to have, they seem nice. So I just took some of them. This is talking rocks. Yeah. It wanted a talking rock. Yeah, yeah. When I was, when I lived in McCall, I had a pet rock that I would pretend was a dog. Yeah. I put a leash on it, dragged it around. This is, and this is just, this is legit a pet rock. Yeah. So I have a few of them on my pockets. This is a talking rock. Yeah. Yeah.

And I think I'm totally amazed that a spirit in the spirit world gave you something to eat and you ate it and it was good and you're not dead or turned into that thing already that I'm. I just pick one up and I take a little bite out of it too just to see what's going on. It tastes great. It does. And so something that you would sort of remember, because your experiences in the spirit world were based on a not great thing.

So your experiences with spirits were very John Wick where it was like, tell me what I want to know or I am going to kill you. But something that you know about spirits is that they generally follow their nature. So like the spirit of a, of a fruit tree. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The spirit of a forest is to obscure and hide and spread. So that's why, that's why you think you was so weird because they were like, you are lost in my forest. This is how it is. I will not give you things unless you help me spread. And they don't have like individual evil, evil intent or plan. Yeah. It's nature. Just, um, wolf, wolf got a hunt. Bird got a fly. What's the deal with these rocks? Why are they so fun to be around? You're just like talking. How cool would it be to be like?

I, it's highly likely that no one's ever thrown a rock before these rocks in this world. Yeah. So you picked it up and it's like, what the hell? It got to fly. Yeah. It got to roll down a hill and then see his friends at the bottom of the hill and be like, holy shit. He's the bet. He's the coolest. You know, those birds, you know, those birds that we see sometimes. I did that. Get this. Yeah. Yeah. So that's just, yeah, that's like the rock.

Then it was like, what do you think the nature of a rock is? I don't know. They're chill. They love you now. I don't know. The nature of a rock is to just chill. Chill. I got, I put one on my left shoulder, one on my right shoulder and I got one on top of my head. I'm like, Gary, Larry, Chad. Gary, the tree, the tree looks over at you. Yeah. Gary, Gary, the oak tree. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. It's like. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. You're okay.

Instead of you being named Gary, I point at the rock. I'm like, your name is Terry. All right, man. Sounds pretty good. I'm just, Hey man, I'm just here for whatever, you know, just having a good time. Tuck only knows six names. Gary, Larry, Terry, Chad, Linda, Bruce. Those are all the names he knows. Yes. Every time he learns a new name, it pushes out an old one. God, it's so hard. I only got six. That's how it works. I barely know my name. What is it? Is it Turk? Turk. It's Turk, right?

The wapple trees are like, so what's going on? What are you guys? What are you? What are you all doing here? We don't see a lot of people. We're looking for our friend thing. Oh, he's a tall elf boy. Oh, another person. Yes. Wow. And he has long hair and it's gray. Have you seen him? Yeah. We heard he was hanging with someone named Wasp. Oh, and they all, they do the same like branch shaking thing where they're like, Oh, Wasp, huh? What? What's up? What's up with Wasp? What's up with Wasp?

Wasp is a tough to. Tough to deal with. Hmm. You know, B. Oh, we love B. Yeah. B is great. B is spectacular. Butterfly. Oh, just a delight. But Wasp. It's always just about Wasp. You know what I mean? Give us some specific examples. It's just like, you know, we, B is always happy to help out. You know, B makes honey. Bear eats honey. B is cool with that. Wasp makes honey. Kind of. You want to call it honey? Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of.

Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. Kind of. To each other. But no, not for anybody else. Just for Wasp. If your friend is with Wasp, it means that they made Wasp unhappy. Yeah. And how they did that, who can say? Pretty much anything makes Wasp angry. So how would we go find Wasp? Do we just go up that mountain thing? Yeah. Unfortunately, the Misty Hills, that'll be, that'll be the way you go. And past that is the plane. Past that's the Dust Bowl.

Yep. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's where you're going to find Wasp. Man, I can't wait to rip through all these different environments. Almost no time to spare. Is there any way to attract Wasp? Sugar, meat. The usual thing that Wasp's like. Sugar and meat. Just the usual thing. Wasps, they just love to eat. Okay. They love to take. I take, I pick up the Wapple Core and I just, I'm going to carry that with me. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

If you hold onto one of those, Wasp loves Wapples, which is why we're here now. We've, we've come to use Forest for protection. Cause Wasp, oh, pushy, pushy Wasp. If you use one of those, they'll, they'll come right out when you get to the Dust Bowl. Okay. All right. Cool. I'm going to put it in the basket with Gary and then I'm going to hug the Wapple Tree. Thank you. Oh, you're so welcome, child. So welcome. Wait, does this tree have a face? Oh, sorry. A what? What is it talking out of?

You just hear it talking. Okay. Yeah. No face, no eyes. Nope. No face, no eyes. And then one of them kind of looks at, at Perel. It's like. Without its face. Looks how? Well, turns its whole situation to Perel. It turns its situation. Yeah. It says, is that Koi? Is that Koi? Is that you? Perel goes, oh, uh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yup. No, it's not. I'm sorry. I, your friend is here, but. Oh. Be sure to release him somehow at the end of all this. And the Wapple Tree goes, oh, you know what? Never mind.

Koi's kind of a dink. Really hard to talk to. Never remembers our name. Tough to deal with. Anyways, good luck. Okay. Should we kill this Koi fish? Oh, uh, um, it's up to you. Okay. And Perel goes, whoa, hold on. No, it's okay. We got the, we got the go ahead from the Wapple Tree. Let's just get going. How about. I give him a slap on the arm. I'm like, let's go, buddy. Let's just get out of here. Let's go. And, um, the Wapple Trees go, okay, bye. I go, bye. My name was Tacoma. Oh, nice. Tacoma.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, little one, Billy. Yes. And you, taciturn one. You can call me Shathane. Shathane. We will remember that, Shathane. Enjoy the Wapples. We've met before. That's fine. You can't remember me. That's fine. And they wave their. Wapples at you as you, as you head up the hillside. I like the idea that Shathane has met all of these spirits before and like threatened them and they don't remember it. Who knows how much time has passed and driving him fucking crazy.

Yeah. And everything that I tried to do before when I came through the first time I've now realized was just a giant fucking mess and waste of time. And, uh, well, where you're starting to realize you're like, oh, apparently bumbling your way through. This world is more effective than moving through it with purpose. Great. Spectacular. Apparently wandering like these assholes have always done and just saying hi to everything.

The look on my face when you picked up a rock and then threw it must've been like, what the fuck? I hate these guys. Um, do you want to write down three talking rocks on your, on your inventory? Terry, Larry and Chad. As long as you hold onto these dudes, like they're, they're there and they've got like, you know, voices again, like you don't see any faces on them, but they do talk. So you head up the hillside and, um, the grass under your feet feels nice and smell. Everything smells good.

And you see use forest stretching out at the base of the hill for an indeterminate distance. Wow. And you see chunks of it above other chunks and below. And I turn around and I look at the forest and I pick, Billy up and I'm like, everything that the sun touches will be yours one day. So I'm going to have to stay here. No, I, it's a reference to a, uh, like a play that I saw one time. Wow. Yeah. That sounds really cool. It's called the lion King. Wow. Amazing. So he was king of this place.

I don't get it. I liked it. It's a reference to a thing that you saw and nobody else knows. Yeah, exactly. It's a, it's a play in McCall. It's very popular. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's based on another play called Hamlet. Wow. Which is about pigs. You guys must have some really cool things going on there. Yeah. We should go there one day. Sure. Lots of entertainment. Yeah. So you head up the hillside and, uh, you get to the wall of mist and you walk in and it is cold. It's pretty chilly here.

Yeah. It's pretty icy mist. Shathane though, as the scout and Tuck is the trailblazer. You are able to pick your way through the hills pretty easily. Actually the rocks as you're walking, they are like, Nope, Nope. Don't go that way. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're going to get lost. You go that way. You got to go straight. Oh wow. This is awesome. Yeah. Yeah. They know the total, the total sum total of knowledge of all rocks. Each rock knows. Yeah. Rock rock. I'm rock. That's right.

Well, I mean, I guess, I guess I'm Chad now. Yeah. You're Chad. That's pretty cool. Here's what I like about you, Chad. Cause you're the bad boy of the group. They've never, they've never thought of themselves as individuals until now. Yeah. I'm like really fucking. You guys are introducing individualism to the spirit world. And they're like, Whoa, Chad, you're the bad boy. Terry, you're the sensitive one. And Larry, you're the, you're the one that, uh, whatever. Justin Timberlake was.

They're a boy band. You made a boy band out of rocks. Out of these three rocks. With the waffles found by Billy. Sitting in your tums. You're all feeling pretty good. Larry, Terry, and Chad are helping you walk your way through the misty hills. And while we're walking, I'm like kind of like sorting through my inventory and I see the red leather book. Oh yeah. I'm like, I wonder if this would be any different in this world. Oh. So I take it out and I open it up and I flip through it. Damn. Okay.

What's that? What's that book? So the book is the book. You found a red leather book in the goblin tower. Like beginning of season two. You guys have never, well, you opened it and it was blank. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then you never opened it again. So what is in it is a lot of writing, a lot of entries, way more than you expected. There's formulas, there's different diagrams and drawings. Whoa. Are you just like going through this thing? Yeah.

I'm just flipping through it. So there's one entry that you stop at. And so it's just writing like, I'm in my workshop, the light of a single lamp, my books on the wall, my work in front of me. Yeah. Yeah. You get the idea that this is the writing of a wizard. Oh, wow. Yeah. And I spot what's on the page and I'm like instantly steer it away from our donkey fish friend. And I'm like, do not let him see this. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, then I, you and me drop back behind.

Do you want to be involved in this, Billy? I think I'm, I'm still on the wizard. He's like riding on Perel. Yeah. And I'm like, keep him distracted. Oh, okay. And so I'm like, okay, well, hey, Perel. Yes. You know, now that I ate something, maybe we could talk about some spell work stuff. Really? Yeah, sure. Oh, that's very exciting. Okay, great. And he starts going like, okay, so you know that feeling that you're starting to close your eyes like immediately.

Perel's like, so the feeling that you feel when you're like, when you collect this magical energy, that is called thalmic energy. And he's just like talking and talking and you're like, oh my God. Do you want to roll a charisma? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay so it's a pretty stark criticism of my character voice and he also does want to distract so that these guys can can look over that book yeah so I guess constitution so I can both focus and distract yeah absolutely okay so 2d6 plus constitution and not fall asleep I should have got six six I'm sorry can we help well how would you help uh I give him terry what terry the rock okay how are you helping billy in his distraction of perl here's what I'm thinking is like billy's trying to focus and stay awake he's so bored he keeps like falling asleep yeah but if he had terry with him terry would be like oh it's pretty talking around okay all right so yeah that that works for me so like as you're walking away you're like hey uh yeah if you're gonna learn here's how about terry hangs out with you yeah how about terry hangs out with you he's really good at he's a class clown cool okay I don't I want to try one of my roads can I try that light and I didn't mean touch glows with divine light oh yeah so we'll we'll do that we'll do the bond and then if you want some light just so you can see a little bit better no I was thinking of light light light light the rock up so he looks more cool and more distracting more interesting yeah um yeah we could do that we are opening you are opening yourself up to two times the failure basically that's okay this is this is how we fucking play no risk no reward okay all right so yeah roll your 2d6 plus your bond with billy nine ten eleven all right so billy gets a plus one and gets a seven and do you want to you want to do your light thing 13 so terry lights up uh with what is the light that shathane casts look like um well here everything it's quite bright out yeah like a yellowish white light in the atmosphere and then he uh he gets this like awesome sort of purple sort of glow bluish purple little twirling sparkling whoa we spent a little more on the cgi for this one so some little sparks come off from time to time and then they just die down to little embers and then they come back again as he gets more interested he looks around it's like yeah yeah it's like looks so cool yeah you look awesome rock is like terry's like oh man I look so dope check it out larry chad I look sick and I hold them up so they can see them like oh my god do you look so cool man good job good job they're not even jealous because they're all one thing they're just like that's sweet wow it's so pretty so I'm just gonna look yeah here you go So on a seven to nine, are you actually trying to learn or are you just like trying to stay awake basically?

Well, Perel, how about we just go through the theory for now and we do the practical stuff later. Okay. Okay. So on a seven to nine. I like how you said that and then you immediately were like, oh, I'm already so far in over my head. I think that's the thing is like, you know, that if you let him go on, Perel is going to become very dedicated to taking you under his tutelage. Okay, whatever. We're probably going to kill this fucking guy later anyway. So like he is really getting into it.

He's like, so Thalmic Energy. I know how I work it. I don't know how you work it necessarily. Being how you are, being a fairy. Or something. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. But it's just that's something that we need to talk about as well. We need to figure out exactly what you are and what you're capable of. And he's like really digging into it. And Terry's just like, yeah, man. That's cool. That's cool. So that is happening. Perel is like really getting into it with Billy.

And he's walking too. So like, are you guys walking while you're doing this? Yeah, but we're walking behind them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did that thing where we were like, you know, like when you're on a date. When you're on a first date with someone, but you're with another couple. And then you like, just like, you and that person slow down a little bit. Totally. And you drop behind. And you try and grab their hand and they pull it away from you. Exactly.

I'll give you a quick overview of the first few like pages that you guys can look at. Evil wizard shit is what it is. What you get is that it's not written narratively, but it's very descriptive. It's less like today. I did this. And I woke up and I have been thinking about these things. It's more like I'm here. This is nearby. I feel this way. Like, it seems like it's contained thoughts. Like it's like images and experiences, but they're described instead of transcribed. Okay.

I flip forward to some of the diagrams. It looks like they're written down because someone is remembering them. Some of them are unfinished or misremembered based on your Conan, the barbarian style adventures. This is definitely. This is definitely congruent with magical formula that you've seen in the past. Wow. Yeah. What do you think? It looks like evil wizard shit. This is the exact kind of stuff that people were doing, that wizards were doing when they ruined the world.

When you served with the Rangers back in the day, like a hundred years ago, the Rangers would go out and clean stuff up. You know what I mean? Like there were basically special forces. Exactly. So you've seen this stuff written in blood on the floors of places that were lived in by people that you took out. Yeah. And it looks a bit more like when the.

As the wizards started to be defeated and pushed more into obscurity and they had to sort of sit in the darkness and do their training and everything in obscurity. We couldn't go to a wizard library because we burnt them all down and ruined everything. This is how things were sort of transferred back and forth just through memory and then through lore. Yeah. Actually, go ahead and roll me a spell, Lord, if we want to make this stuff law, basically. Yeah. Ten. All right. So this is absolutely.

Something that strikes you is like, oh, this is not written like a book. This seems like a dream journal, almost like it's descriptions of dreams. And it is so stream of consciousness that you think that it wasn't written, but it just sort of happened. And you think that that's what this book does. Like it basically transcribes the dreams of someone nearby. Okay. I want to flip through and read the last narrative entry. The last entry about what happened to this person. So the last.

It's not quite that clean cut. So I got an idea. Yeah. So if I'm going to, I'm going to close the book up and I'm going to get really, really, really close to Purell. And I'm just going to open it up. Does the ink look darker than if I go way, way, way, way, way further back? So you do see as you, as you move closer to Purell, you see some of the diagrams resolve a little bit firmer. And one of them that was, that was some, that seemed unfinished.

When you were further away, seems to finish itself as you get closer. Oh, fuck. No way. Shit. Yes. There's so many questions in my head. Yep. And you won't get answers to any. I'm whispering this to you. I have so many questions. It seems like your head is full of mostly questions. Blowing my mind. It doesn't seem like it's very difficult. So this is something, maybe something I kind of recognize that spirit or that wizards could, would have books in their libraries that we.

Would see and like, Oh, this library library is full of empty books. Yeah. And at first we just left them. And then when we realized that that was actually, we didn't, couldn't see and understand what was on there. Then we, then we, then we collected and destroyed them all. It's almost like the books, like these books are ways to mine your subconscious for lost information and incantations. Like, cause wizards live for a long time.

They learn and remember lifetimes worths of information over and over and over. And it's all, it's all still in there, but it's like, it's hard to remember things from a long time ago. So they have these books like all over their, their homes and it kind of just like catches whatever like pieces come through and dreams and it like categorizes it basically. It's like Google keep. I don't know. It's basically a Google drive, but, uh, but for the cloud. Yeah. It's, it's cloud processing.

Billy, you're on Perel's back and he's like, so we. Would build devices and machines and apparatus to align the thalmic energy, which would allow us to make magical works larger and more complex and stronger than anything that we could do with our own bodies and minds. Do you understand? Why would we do that? Why can't we just like, you know, kind of blast it out of our hands and then, you know, not worry about all that other stuff that people don't care about. Well, yes, of course.

Like you can just work the magic through your own body. Cool. Yes. Very cool. But I'll give you a hint. If you want to lay waste an entire battlefield, this machine is a machine that lays waste an entire battlefield. People at one time using energies and, and incantations that were intended to help and heal. Yeah. That's, that's kind of where my mind's going. Like, why do we have to do it? Be a machine. Like, why can't we just like, you know, pull it out of our soul or our butts or whatever.

I get Billy like a lo-fi. Yeah. He, uh, he closes his eyes and says, yes, if you're looking to do nothing more than create a flame or, or make something cold or hot or taste one way or the other. Cool. Then yes, you could just work it from through your body. But if you want to do, yes. You want to make a flame that burns the world. I did not do anything like that. That was not what my work was about. Of course not. That's why you were in that box. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Chaos. Let me ask you this. What were you trying to save the world from? The exodus. Instability. When the wizards left, they left holes in the world, in reality. I tried to stop it. At least some of it. They didn't like my methods, and so they imprisoned me. Who's they? Everyone. The people of the principalities. Like, which ones? Well, I remember this happening, so like, which ones? What do you mean you remember this happening?

Well, I just remember like… Yeah, Billy, what do you mean you remember this happening? Well, it was just like a kerfuffle of things, and, uh, you know, people rallying, and I mean, I didn't join in, because no one tells me what's going on, so I just like hid in the barn all the time. Because there's things happening. Well, if you're speaking of the halfling lands, outside the principalities, there wasn't much that I could do. My power's only extended so far.

In the Riverways Principality, when it was still the Kingdom of Kinos, before the old monarch died, in what is now the Riverways Principality, I was trying to stabilize a number of tares in what you now call Wi-Fi hotspots. Wizards First. Such a ridiculous, short-sighted organization. And I was trying to save people. To do that, yes, some people needed to leave, and some people may have gotten hurt. Unintentionally. But I was doing work. I was doing good work. And then they imprisoned me.

Destroyed it all. And then the world got fucked up anyway. Was I just supposed to not try? Is that the way the world works? Move an entire river to stop one wizard from doing good. What do you mean move an entire river? They cut off the source of my power. The river? Yeah, so the Wittershin's River used to run a different way. It used to run around it or whatever. And they moved it over. And that's where I can't remember. What was it? The, like in Mudlark. That whole place was part of the river.

That was part of the Wittershin's? Yeah. Whoa. They moved it quite a ways. Wow. Holy hell. And that not only brought ruin to the trading of the city upriver, and altered the entire ecosystem of that region. It sapped my tower. Of the power necessary to do the work I was doing. Wait. A tower? Is this the spire in Highspear? No, that was another tower. That wizard. It's a mystery.

It's a mystery that we didn't trust the people that ruined the world, that broke the world, that twisted the world, to fix it. I was close. I was close to making a breakthrough. And then they just, they moved the river, they tore my tower down, they buried it, but beneath the mud, they imprisoned me. That part has left me, I will say. The frustration I poured into Billy, the ambition, that part of me is gone. I now only want to help. And I know that what I did was unscrupulous at times.

And now I will help in the way that I am best able to. I will not. I lean in, and I put my hand on his horse shoulder, and I'm like, still doesn't sound like a fucking apology, bro. I'm sorry that your friend was hurt. I will set things right. Thank you. I appreciate that. Now we should probably get going. And we should hug first. I, in this form, I am incapable of hugging. Hug me, do it.

He just like, and he just kind of moves forward and pushes his chest like against you, like his shoulder area. And I hug him, I'm like, make some arms. Make some arms. This is gonna take a while. Wrap it around my beefy torso. He just like, Billy, just hold on. And he like, goes up on his hind legs and sort of moves his arms, and they bend in ways that horse legs can't bend around you and says, is this what you wanted? Does this work? And then I grab his, I guess, horse face now? It's a fish.

It's a fish face. I grab his fish face and I like, kiss him on his forehead. I'm like, you are forgiven. Thank you. Cool. Perel. I forgive you. Thank you. It's not often that people get to, you know, right the wrongs of their worst days. And I'm gonna lean into Perel's ear so nobody else can hear, and I'm gonna be like, I see you, shapeshifting wizard. He, uh, he goes back. I lean into his other ear. You are a brother now. And then we do it at the same time. I see you, shapeshifting wizard.

You're one of us. He goes back down on his, on all fours and backs up. And it's like, all right. You're a pretty horse. Let's move on. You're a piece of shit. Let's move on. Let's, let's continue forward. Perel, I'm really proud of you. Thank you, Billy. You're welcome. I'm proud of you too. You listened to that whole lesson and I think you maybe started to learn something. You're the fucking stupidest wizard. Uh, all right. Evil piece of shit. So you guys carry on through the misty hills.

This is over. Terry is still with, uh, Billy kind of glowing nicely. So beautiful. Larry and Chad are like, yep, no, we're going the right way. We should, we should got to go to the plains, right? That's what you guys were saying. I fucking love these rocks. These rocks are great. And they, um, when you saw the hills, you were like, wow, that's a big zone. That's a big hill zone over there.

And, uh, they lead you through it in a way that makes it seem like it was a lot smaller than you thought it was. And you come out of the mist onto, uh, the edge of the hillside. And it goes down to a plane that stretches out in front of you. Any plants that you would see in the plane, any of the grass or the rocks, everything seems totally blasted as if a wildfire ripped through here. Wow. Very recently. Everything's blackened and charred. There's ash on the ground. What the fuck happened here?

Dang. Oh, shit. Probably a fire. Do fires exist here? Fire? Uh, you can only assume that there would be fire spirits at the very least. Yeah, I guess, like, the spiritual core of what is fire in our world. Yeah. And then when the fire spirit encounters the dry grass spirit, sometimes it doesn't work out so great. Yeah. I guess I want to discern realities. I want to find out what happened here recently. Yeah, sure. Go ahead and roll 2d6 plus your wisdom for discern realities. Five. Plus wisdom?

Uh, one. Six. Can someone aid him? Uh, yeah, yeah. So you would roll, how is Billy aiding? Just also watching? Yeah, I, how about I will go down to the dirt and I'll start digging around. Okay. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Nine, ten. Nine. Cool. So that gives you a plus one, which makes that a partial success. What happened here recently? To figure this out, I'm like, dances with wolves, grabbing the ground and tasting it. What does it taste like? And Billy wants to know what it tastes like.

Yeah, so I, and I see him do that and I do it too. There must be something. I'm feeling the wind. What's going on? So, uh, Larry is on your shoulder. He's like, oh man, yeah, fire came through here for sure. Looks like fire was pretty hungry too. Burned it all up. That's fire for you. Is fire dangerous? Uh, is anybody really dangerous? Okay. It's just hard to say, man. You know, it's just like fire burn. Fire gotta burn. Okay. Well, how wide is this plane? Can we run across it real fast?

In the far, far distance, like just over the horizon, which looks like it comes much sooner than it should, you do see smoke. Okay. Like the, where fire is now. Potentially, yeah. Okay. As far as you can tell. Which way do we have to go? Do we have to go in the direction? Like straight across. You basically said, like, cross the hills, cross the plane, you'll be at the dust bowl. Do you guys want to just make a, like, a fucking crazy run for it? Yeah. Okay. Sounds good. So what, um…

Perel, how fast can you run as this weird giraffe fish horse? He, um, he, like, uh… Can you make your legs really long, Salvador Dolly style? Can you make yourself slightly bigger and more useful? You see the muscles in his body shifting, and he does get wider and stockier, but, like, longer. He's, like, towering over all of you now, and he said, I'd hazard I could go pretty fast. Cool. He's still got the koi face. Yeah, he's still got a fish face. And sort of fish…

And his, like, his fish, like, mustache thing is, like, long and luxurious. Cool. He's got a fin going down his head now. Like, he's giving himself, like, racing stripes. Holy shit. He's got a fin going down his neck, but not on his back, so you can sit there comfortably. And then he's got them going down his sides as well. Perel, you look fucking sick right now. He, uh, smiles a little bit with his fish face, and he stomps a foot. Yeah, I go, like, I give him a high five.

His foot is enormous now, and he's just like, yeah, man. This is, this is how they get you. This is how… Man, anyway. Look at this guy. He does look cool. Yeah. He, Perel, crouches down in his new super badass, like, race fish form and gives you room to all hop on. This is awesome. Yeah. Where's Tantamile? Is she gonna get on with it? Like, I haven't seen her. No, she's not. She's, uh, Beavercat.

So she's come to the spirit world, and she's now with the Beavercats and just basically doing what they do in the spirit world, which is, like, curl up and nap and occasionally walk around and… Is she able to, like, will she answer a call or anything? Uh, no. Not really. She's just acting as the, uh, as the, the communal form of Beavercat in nature. Cool. Is she gonna be able to find us? Does she, like, when we leave?

When we go back, she will just appear and, you know, sort of extract herself from the communal form and then become her individual form, and then we'll all kind of slide back. Yeah, Perel, you all hop on. He stands up in his, uh, fish horse form, and you're all, like, 20 feet off the ground now, basically. He's gigantic. And he starts padding down the hill, and then he starts picking up speed. You all grab on, and he is hauling ass now. These three rocks are like, woo!

Yeah, I'm holding, uh, I'm holding Larry and Chad up, and I'm, like, gripping his torso with my legs as hard as I can, and all three of us are going, woo! How's Terry feeling about this? Terry? Um, well, I'm just holding on to, like, Tuck's belt or whatever, and I have Terry in my other hand, and I'm like, woo! I'm also kind of scared, but Terry's loving it. So, uh, Perel's going pretty fast. Like, how are you, how's everyone holding on? Strength. 2d6 plus strength for Defy Danger? Fuck! Six.

Ooh, six. Can I roll it again? No! What? How's Billy holding on? I have his belt. Okay, so, also 2d6? You're also holding on with strength? I guess. Yeah, 2d6 plus strength. Five. So the rangers don't just range, we also had a cavalry. I'm using my cavalry skills, so I guess that would be dexterity? Yeah, we can do dexterity. You kind of know, like, what to hold on to and when. Nine. Nine. Seven plus two. Great. Okay, so, Tuck, here's what happens to you. Woo!

You're riding, and, uh, you've been, you've been, you've been thus far ignoring… I am losing my mind. I'm so excited, it feels like I'm flying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've been thus far ignoring the feeling in your gut from the ghost route, and as you're riding, you're like, yeah! Woo! I love my life! You, uh, you feel in your stomach, you feel that, like, like a real gross gut feeling. Larry and Chad start sinking through your hand. Whoa, what? You're losing your hold on them. Okay.

But not through anything that they're doing or anything that you're doing. Billy, you're holding on to Tuck's loincloth, the back of his loincloth, basically touching his butt, I should mention. Yeah, that's fine. And you feel it start going through your hand. What the… You're losing your hold on that, and then Larry and Chad fall through your hands completely. No! No! And you fall backwards through everyone.

As Perel rips forward, you find yourself hanging in the air, and Billy, you see Tuck, like, basically go through you, Chathain, you see the same thing, and then Tuck is just floating behind. And Larry and Chad hit the ground, they go, oh, whoa! I'm like, ah! Oh, no! Oh, no! And Billy, you see in the distance, you see, um, the smoke over the horizon get darker and thicker and richer. Oh, no! And then you see flames start to lick up over the horizon. Fire is approaching. What do you do?

Thanks for listening, everybody. That's where we're gonna end it for this week. This has been Spout Lore. I am your Game Master, Sean O'Hara, and with me, as always, playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. No, I actually don't remember. Playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Wow, I'm embarrassed. And playing Chathain, the Elf Ranger, Mark Robertson. Hamburger, ranch dressing, some hot sauce, cornflakes, and then fry it.

Thanks to Aaron Reed for our amazing intro and outro music. Thank you to Adam Coble and Sage LaTorre for inventing the game Dungeon World. Yeah! Thanks for that. You can find that at dungeon-world.com. Just type in Dungeon World in Google. It'll be there. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next week. Though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores.

And for you, I'd gladly Spout Lore. It would probably be pretty tasty.

Got a lot going on in my tum. Welcome to Spout Lore. My name's Sean O'Hara. I got a lot going on in my tum. Okay. Should probably not do that. All right, starting again. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing.

Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the best of the best, they're the best of the best. The tale's about to start. Welcome to Spout Lore. My name's Sean O'Hara, I'm your game master.

With me, as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. And playing Shathane, the elf ranger, guest player, Mark Robertson. Hello. Guys got great barbarian voices. Do your real voice, don't do my voice. Hello. Stop it. Stop mocking me. When last we left our heroes, they had traveled to the spirit world with the help of Cartwin to recover or at least find some information regarding the disappearance slash death of…

I'm trying to do a recap here, man. What's so fucking funny? I'm sorry. I just remember the ritual that Cartwin used to send us to the spirit world. You made it so sexy for some reason. No, I did not. I was trying to describe something on the layer of clothing underneath. I was trying to describe something on the layer of clothing underneath. I was trying to describe something on the layer of clothing underneath. Her cloak revealing. You kept being like, she's undulating.

I did not say undulating. And then her cloak just slips down her shoulder and you see something. It's so sexy. If you find my voice erotic, which many of us do. Many of us. You include yourself. I include myself. I listen to this podcast. Look. It was a little… All right. Fine. It was sexy. Whatever. I'm sexy. Thank you. No, not you. You just have weird thoughts and you're projecting. What? I'm going to start that recap now.

When last we left our heroes, they had traveled to the spirit world with the help of Cartwin to recover or at least find information regarding the disappearance slash death slash weird situation involving Ving Vang Zuba, the druid. They arrived at a place.

They were in a place that Shathane referred to as the interface and met up with a spirit guide in the shape of a kind of glowing golden koi fish that was very weird and involved me sort of waving from side to side in my chair for something like 15 minutes. I believe the term's undulating. There it is. Undulating. Shathane explained that guides love gifts from the material plane, which is very cool. It's a cool idea. So Tuck was able to pay it with… With music and a coin that it ate.

And it led you through the floating grass-covered islands of the interface area and into a forest that contained a multitude of copies of the same tree over and over and over where you were then attacked by one of those trees. And Billy called upon the spirit projection whatever of the wizard Perel who came to his aid only to be consumed in much the same way as the gift.

And Billy was able to get the gift by the spirit guide and is now inhabiting the body of a pretty big fish that also has legs now. Oh, and Shathane used his ability to influence the spirits of the spirit world to scare the tree off, which then skittered off through the forest. And that is where we left our heroes lost in the one tree forest in the dark with a big glowing fish. I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately. Got a lot of one tree.

One tree hill references in this show. If there's anything that we know, it's early 2000s CW programming. Back then it was the WB. It was the WB. Where is the one tree forest? It's on the hill. Yeah. It's over there on that hill. So we come back and Tuck, you're standing in front of the towering form of this four legged fish who's up on his hind legs and has told you to stand down. And he settles back down. He settles down on his four feet and looks around and says, where are we?

And I disregard his question. I poke him with my hand and I'm like, fuck you, piss monster. What are you doing here? You piece of shit. It's your fucking fault that we're here. He is letting you poke him. Yeah. He doesn't react because I think he's maybe realized that you are not a threat to him right now because he's getting he's almost it almost seems like he's getting bigger and bigger by the moment. Like he he looks very.

Dense and very large, bigger than certainly than the fish was when it came out of the pond. And he looks at Billy and says, Billy, where are we? Ooh, we are in a sort of ghosty world. What is it called? And I look at Shathane. What is that? This is the this is the interface. Who is this? This is the piece of shit that killed our friend. OK. All right. Well, first things first. No, I didn't. Hmm. Are you? Not the piss monster that fought us at that magic pond. Not in so many words. Up. I.

Billy, did you explain this to them at all? No, because I barely understand why you're bothering me all the time. And I have not had lunch. I don't even know if I can get lunch now. And it's your fault. I don't know where I'm going with this. Well, let me let me try and explain it. The fish looks at Shathane like, hello. Holds out a flipper. And I don't think we've met. Same wick. Perel. I am. Well, I was a wizard a long time ago. And now I appear to be a fish, but not even me.

So when I was trapped in that box and he he points at the box that's on Tuck's back. This is when I was trapped in there. I was contained for almost 100 years. And as anybody who has been contained for a significant amount of time would know, it does things to you. And. As the bonds of that vessel started to weaken, I was able to allow some of that frustration to vent. And after a period of time, my box came into the possession of these fools. And well, let me finish my story.

And I was able to vent that frustration inadvertently at first into young William here. That is not my name. I deserve respect. I. Yeah. I'm sorry. I. Fat Billy. I. Exactly. Yes. I assumed that was a nickname. I assumed Billy was short for something. No. It's just Billy. It's fat Billy to you, sir. Fat Billy. Very well. To pick up Billy, I put him on my shoulder to make him to help him appear more intimidating piece of shit.

I was able to vent that frustration into Billy here for reasons I have attempted to explain to him and he has refused to listen to. Over time, that frustration left me and entered him. You're a wizard. You were in a box for a hundred years. You know why we put you in those boxes. I know why you thought you were putting me in these boxes. You know why you should have been in there for another thousand years. You know why the wizards shouldn't be out. This is a conversation for another time.

I was trying to do good work. I was trying to save lives. Yeah. I feel like this is a conversation for now because it feels like we're getting a lot of free exposition that we don't have to roll for. You don't have to roll for it. You don't have to roll for things that people tell you willingly. Long story short, my frustration was in Billy there and that apparently had an adverse effect on him understandably.

So I just put all my frustration and my anger and my ambition into Billy because that was the strongest emotion I felt at the time. When you went to expunge him of those forces, that feeling, that was the part of me that was released from him. That was the part of me that killed your friend. What a dumb explanation. You should, especially because you're older than me, I bet, you should be an adult and manage your emotions, practice mindfulness. Yeah.

You shouldn't be taking it out on me, especially because I didn't consent to this. Yeah. Trash. Billy is a fucking child. I am so small. Yes. And I don't know what to do with these feelings and my changing body. And. My emotions. He's flowering into a man. Look at him. Look at me. Yeah. Look at me. Doesn't need your weird emotions inside of him. Non-consensually. Perel like puts a flippered hand like on his fish face and just rubs it down his whole face in exasperation.

He's like, I think we all can agree. One, that Billy is not a child. Billy is a child. I made that mistake too when I first met him. But all halflings look. It's hard to tell their age. Have you really not explored anything regarding your ancestry at all? Well, no, because my parents, who knows where they are now? And I don't remember really. And no one is was nice to me in my hometown. And so I left. And I don't know. I just look at the moon sometimes.

And then I'm like, maybe this is how old I am now. And I just guess. How long? That's worth. That's worth figuring out eventually. But either way, I did not kill your friend. I just want that clear. Well, I'm hearing a lot of I didn't kill your friend. It's mostly Billy's fault. It's not my fault. Not hearing a lot of apologies. That's all wizards do. It's endless shovels full of bullshit justification for everything they've ever done. We need to use him.

Find your friend and get him back in his box. Yes. Wait, what's in this box now? And I take it off. My back is like, what the fuck am I carrying this around for? It's really. I'm trying to explain, but you can't. And I slam. I'm going to slam it against the tree. Is there anything in here? I am. Okay. Slam it. I rattle it. It was not me that was in Billy. Let me rephrase that. It's fucking weirdo. I was not the one that killed your friend. I am not even here right now in this fish.

I am in that box. Oh, so you're still in here. Yes. And I slam it against a tree again. Does it have any effect on him? No. Okay. I try hitting it again harder against the tree. That's not going to do anything. Is this doing anything to you? No, it's at. Wait a second. Any looks at the box? Can I get that here? No, this is mine. Can you show it to me then? Okay. And I hold it out of arm's reach. That's fine. And he points at the crack. Hey, no pointing. What? No pointing. No flash.

I'm not allowed to point. No arms at your side. Okay. So there's a crack in the lid of the box. Yes. How? I did it by accident because I lost my temper, which happens a lot. You broke it? Yes. And I apologized because that's what big boys do. High five. He furrows the fish equivalent of eyebrows. Says that shouldn't be possible. Well, it's a shitty box. It's old and shitty. That box is made out of one of the strongest materials on our plane. Of existence, which is. You don't know? No.

Oh, well, do you know? Because it feels like you're kind of just stretching to find a name. No, I know the name, but I feel like I feel like I am giving up too much. I feel like I'm giving it all up for free. Oh, actually, I guess if she was around, he'd probably know. I think I know at least I know some more about these boxes. Yeah. I might not. I might not know specifically. Well, find out. You can spell Lord. Yeah. Yeah. Because this is a because you can't really spell Lord about stuff.

You have no way of knowing about. That's the only thing. But your thing does. So give me a 2D6 plus intelligence. Seven and eight. Eight. Okay. So on a seven to nine, the gym will only tell you something interesting. It's on you to make it useful. So, you know, that the box is made out of a very hard to work, but magically. Like neutral material. It's a material called Ward stone. Ward stone. Like it basically has just a null magic effect.

So it's able to neutralize magical things, but it can still be worked in a way that it is able to facilitate magical ruins. But it is used to contain a lot of stuff. So the wizards did work for men and elves at one point. Thousands of years ago, there were great battles fought all over the world. The wizards were employed to create weapons. And enchantments and slave armies and all kinds of great stuff that they really loved reveled in.

And they created a material to build weapons to defeat the other enemy wizards weapons. And so this was one of those materials, Ward stone. And as their powers grew and their evil became more evident and their end goals became obvious, then it became a responsibility of men and elves and all other beings to take the material that they created and build prisons. And boxes to get as many wizards and keep them from continuing their evil work.

I feel like that's an oversimplification of what we were doing, but he's more or less right. And it's one of these Ward stone boxes I've spent almost 100 years trapped inside of. Okay. So you are a criminal is what you're telling us because you're clearly in prison right now. That's subjective. And that box should have been built strong enough to keep him in there for thousands. So the fact that you knucklehead managed to break it open or damage it is almost unbelievable.

It should be impossible. Anyways, I was very angry and I felt very embarrassed when I did it. Well, I mean, thanks to this, I'm able to take amazing, beautiful form such as this horrific fish monster and talk to people like young fat Billy over here. I'm not free yet, but hopefully soon. Yeah, we should maybe do something about this. Well. Once we find Ving. I can be of help. Hmm. There's a power inside Billy. I'm not sure if you're aware of that.

I was slightly aware of what was going on at the pool, but you saw what he did, what he could potentially be capable of. Yeah. So do some fucking sick knife moves. That's the power that Billy has. He's got sweet knife moves. He's good at helping with poems. He's good eating. I am. Yeah. I can eat up to a dozen potatoes. No problem. In one sitting. In one sitting. He once out ate a full grown bear. Yeah. Wonderful. We won. Reubenborn. This takes for so long. Also champion sweating skills.

We've never really seen anybody. Real good at that. I love that there's like a novelty tavern that's like, if you can out eat our bear, you get to stay here for free. Yeah. That's awesome. I like that a lot. I will remember that because that is hilarious. You get to out eat a bear. We put a drawing of you on the wall. Yeah. He has three drawings in that tavern. I just walk in and they're like, oh, him again. Better just make the bed now. Even the bear gets upset. Oh, man. Yeah. So embarrassing.

He walks in and the bear's just like. So embarrassing. Oh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I don't like that joke. But Perel says, you know, you know, that's not true. You know that that is not the only power that he is capable of. Billy, do you not want to learn more? Like what? Learn to harness these abilities. Sounds like so much work. It would be. But think of the potential.

Don't don't listen to him. These are the abilities that ruined the world. These. Yeah. He's getting very he's getting steamed. But not even like angry. Just like. You. This is. How long have you been out of the box? You've been in the box for 100 years. You've been out of the box for who knows how long. Look what you've done. Yeah. Look what you've done. Look where we are. No food. Anywhere. For miles. You know what you can do? You can help them find their friend. I will. Your excuses.

Your bullshit stories. We don't need them. We need some help from once from a wizard. Yeah. We need. If you help us bring Ving back to life. Then we'll call it squares. And then I don't know. I'll fucking break the box open for you or whatever. Don't break the box or not. I don't know. Are you trying to parlay with him? No. I'm just saying words. Yeah. But you're literally offering him a thing with leverage. Okay. Then. Yeah. Whatever. Help us. And I'll free you. Sure. Terrible. Terrible idea.

Hey. I'm lying. I'm lying to him. Hey. Should they. Just a second. Hang on. Should I look at me? Are they getting closer to my headphones? Hey. Give us a second. Okay. Very well. Go stand over there by those trees. You really want. I'm your only source of light. Do you want me to walk off right now? Wizards have excellent hearing. Okay. Well, he starts walking away. He kind of ambles in a direction and it does get darker. Okay. Quite a lot darker. Understand what he can do. Yeah. He's a bad guy.

He's a very bad guy. He's a very bad guy. He's a very bad guy. So I'm lying. I'm going to lie down. I'm going to tell him. He's lying to us. They lie. They cheat. They kill. They destroy. That's what wizards do. Okay. I'll take that under advisement. All right. But I'm not going to let him out of this box. What we're going to do is we're going to. So he made a noise and I looked over there. I looked over because Jessica went, oh, while looking out the window and there's a squirrel. Okay.

There's a squirrel here. There's a squirrel on a tree. Weird. In the. Okay. Fuck. Okay. Here's what. Here's what I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm going to try and just. I'll lie to him. I'll tell him. We're going to break him out of the fucking prison he's in. I understand that he's not stupid. I get that he's a bad guy. All evidence to the contrary. You keep treating me like a fucking child and I'm not a child. I get that this guy's a bad guy. I lost my temper one time.

I kind of broke him out of wizard jail or whatever. It's not going to happen again. Probably. Probably. So. I'm just going to lie to him. Tell him I'm going to bring him out of jail. We're going to get fucking. What? Ving. What's his name? Ving. Your blood brother. You feel. You feel the ghost root in your stomach gurgle. Yeah. This ghost root made you smart and reasonable. We'll see how long this lasts. I'm going to fucking lie to him. I'll tell him I'll break him out of the box.

It's not going. I'm not going to. And then we'll take him to the vault once we have Ving. Fine. Whatever. For some reason, I trust you. Yes. Good. Here. There's. I'm going to write a bond down. No. You trust me. No, no, no. I'm doing it. That's not how bonds work. Okay. And then we turn back. Just write something down. Can you write? Can you write? I can't. I don't understand why I keep having to reiterate that I am literate. Perel starts coming back over. He's like, are you done? Yes. Okay.

I'll break you out of fucking wizard jail if you help us. I don't know why I'm still whispering. I'll break you out of wizard jail. All right. Roll it. You help us. 2d6 plus charisma. We're going to do this like a parlay. Seven, eight, nine, eight, nine. They will do what you ask, but they need some concrete assurance of your promise right now. I'll help you. But in the meantime, I'd like to hold on to that box. What's the worst that could happen? Oh, I'm not even sure. I've never.

The world could end. I've never been to the spirit world before. I'm not even 100% that that's the actual box. It could just be some sort of spiritual projection of it. I have to stay with you. So full of shit. How would I get back without you? I've never been here before. Billy, what do you think? This is not feeling so good in my tummy. Can we give you something else maybe? Yeah. The box. What are you going to do with it? I'm just going to hold on to it.

Can we give you something that looks like a box? Yeah. What? I look around. Okay. I'm going to bring them over to me. And we're going to walk. And I'll have another little whisper. What are we going to do? You hear Perel go, oh my God. This is how we confer. We solve problems. Okay. Fine. Just fucking chill out for two seconds. Why don't you fucking something useful for once? All right. He's like, fine. Whatever. Fine. Then he gets up on his back legs. You weird looking fish man.

Walks into the trees. Okay. The light dies. He cannot use the box. Okay. So. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Why. I can hold for it. He's not going to do anything to me. He is going to do something to you. Do you know what wizards do when they have control over people? What did a wizard who barely had existence in our plane do to your friend? All he does is he just sits in my head and talks to me. What does he say?

He just says shit. I don't know. Have you ever met an elf? Do you know why elves do what they do? Yeah. Yeah, because they say the wizards made them. Do you think they like living their lives as our agents? I don't know. It's the kind of thing that nobody really wants to think about. Like, where do these clothes come from? Did the people who made it, were they children? It was $4 at Banana Republic. So is this what we want to have happen to Billy? Sure. So I wander up to him. And then I guess.

Oh, it's so dark. Yeah. Perel's like, you see the light off. Not that far off in the trees. And it's sort of that weird grid shape where there's an equal amount of distance between all of the trees and all of the trees are identical in shape. And you see the light deeper in the trees. I trotskies over. And then I'm like, hey, let's make a deal here. He crouches down. Okay. So he's not going to give you that box. He really likes it. I think he has some weird emotional attachment to that box.

He says some stuff about it. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. You can carry me instead. I don't really like walking anyway. And then at the end, you give me back and then you get your box. What? You want me to just carry you around? Sure. And he like looks at his hands and they like his stubby little arms and stuff like that. And he's like, hmm. Okay. Just a second. You see him like stretching his fish shoulders a little bit and his shape starts to change. Okay. All right. Hold on just a second. And he's like.

Changing his size and like his his legs elongate and his body narrows and lengthens. And he sort of stretches himself out into this almost like pony shape, like a like a little long fish pony horse thing that's small enough that it's not like super uncomfortable for you to ride. So it's like, okay, that works for me. Okay. I suppose. And he kneels down so you can hop on. All right. We're going to talk more later. Sure thing. And he weaves his way back out through the trees. Okay.

And he comes up to you, Shathane, and Tuck, and he says, all right, Billy's going to stick with me. We're going to find a way out of here. Okay. This is the worst idea. No, man. I got it. Hold on to that box. You know what? I trust Billy because he's been able to hold his own a lot of times. Hey, here, hold my hand. And I try and grab his hand. Hold his hand. Hold his hand. Hold his hand. Hold his hand. Hold his hand. Hold his hand. Hold his hand. Hold his hand. Hold his hand. Hold his hand. No.

Hold his hand, Shathane. I'm not good at holding my hand. I keep slipping my fingers out of your giant paw. Just give me your hand a little bit. Get the fuck away. Perel goes, oh, okay. Awkward. All right. And I'll just do the eye point to finger Perel horse head point to finger me eyes thing. He picks up one flipper. Does the eye thing to you as well? And he says, all right, well, we're lost. What do we do? And he points to the gap.

Like he kind of noses at the gap where the tree that ran away was. Says what happened over here? And he's like looking at tracks and stuff like that. Like the tree has left divots in the ground where it dragged its roots through the earth. But you've taken control of the guide, the spirit guide that we had. You've overwhelmed him with your evil intent. There's got to be some element of him in there. Still, that can give us this guidance.

I was able to change my form, but I think that's as far as I can go. I think I've more or less supplanted whatever pure spirit of myself entered this. Any pure element of helpfulness that was in the spirit you've managed to eliminate. And look, pal, that's enough. There's a lot of tension between you guys. For no reason. Yeah. I've got hunting track. We saw there are some trails and tracks that we saw. Yeah. Yeah. The tree left some like divots in the ground. Yeah. When he took off. Yeah.

So I'm going to try hunt and track move. Yeah. Sounds great. So what is hunt and track? When you follow a trail of clues left behind by passing creatures, roll a plus wisdom. Yeah. Sounds great. So go ahead and roll two to six plus wisdom. Five wisdom is plus two. So seven. Yeah. So you follow these sort of furrows in the earth left by the tree's roots as it scurried off through the forest with the light that Perel's form is.

Casting in the trees, you're able to follow it through this very grid shaped forest. It feels like it gets denser, but the trees are still the same distance apart. You eventually come to a almost perfectly square shaped clearing and you see the trail that the roots left go into the clearing into the middle. And as you get closer and closer, you hear cooing almost like a vibration sort of sound. It's like. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. But you need to get closer. What do you do? Can I do trap expert?

Yeah, sure. Yeah. You can try something like that. So how do you roll trap expert? I roll plus dexterity. Is that two D six? Yeah. Yeah. It's all two D six. I got seven. Okay. So what do you get with a seven on trap expert? I have one hold as I walk through the area and I ask, is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? As you walk forward through the clearing, you get to a point where you hear the sound in the darkness and it's too far away to see what it's. Making that noise.

But you do see just below the earth, just the top of a very thick root sort of push out of the dirt and then go back in like a, almost like the back of a fish, like in the water. And you think that if you walked any further forward, whatever that roots connected to would know that you're there. Hey guys, there's a weird tree worm and it's just going about its business over here. I don't really know. Chathain, Perel. Do you guys know what tree worm? Are you know what this is?

Spell or yeah, it'd be a good thing to do. Oh, cool. How does that work? It's just like the name of the podcast thing. We keep forgetting to do. Yeah. Yeah. Two to six plus intelligence. Holy shit. Ten. Ten. In your travels in the spirit world decades ago, you heard about this spirit. You know that all of these trees like it sort of comes back to you. You're like, oh, I've heard. Okay. Yes. I know where we are now. I know where we are now.

This entire forest is spawned by a single large tree spirit. And it sits in the middle of this clearing and it treats all of these trees sort of like it's children. Although they're all copies of itself, but it sort of treats this whole forest as if it's under its care and its protection and it's nurturing. And in your mind, you're like, oh, that's what that cooing sound is. It's comforting something. Oh, this is likely the one that you sliced. In half and then I scared the shit out of. Yeah.

Sap out of. Should we try and interact with this tree spirit and maybe apologize? Maybe try and explain ourselves? Yeah. Let's do it. You definitely could. I think because it tried to grab the fish it might be a good idea to keep the pony fish out of grabbing range especially since Fat Billy's on the back. Yeah. Well our deal was that Billy would stay with me so. Okay. Well I'll go try and like I don't know. I'll sing a song to it. Oh nice. Yeah. Maybe they like jokes.

I'm not going to do my stand up mark. Thank Christ. Alright so yeah so what do you do? How do you approach this tree? Here hold my hand. Alright so I for once in my life allow someone to hold my hand. Come on. And we'll tentatively move forward. Yeah I take out the kind of like the crystal that we stole from that mayor's house. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And I hold it up in the air. Because you have like you have a few of those right? Well I gave one to everyone. Yeah. So Billy has one.

I have one. Yeah. And Ving has one wherever he is right now. Yeah. So they said Billy Tuck and Shathane start walking forward and Tuck pulls out the light crystal and you see Perel turn his head and look right at it. Hey man. You have more of them. Yeah. What's your problem? Wait. Why are you being so weird about it? It's not. I'm not trying to be weird. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable but we've talked about what those are. What those do. Can you refresh my mind?

Those are almost pure magic. Oh cool. Okay. Yeah I got one too. Yes I'm aware. Oh yeah. Okay. That is what allowed you to focus your abilities. Allowed you to harness the energy. Do you remember? Oh yeah. I remember. You are going to be a very frustrating yet impressive apprentice. Thank you. And we cut forward to Tuck's and Shathane walking through. So the second you walk forward and you walk where Billy was like whoa there's something in the ground.

You hear the cooing stop and roots start jerking up from the ground and wrapping around your feet. What do you do? I let it happen. Oh you're just letting it grab you? I don't struggle against it. Okay. Because I feel like the last time this happened the fish was like struggling and the more it struggled the more. So it felt like quicksand. We might be able to figure this out because I have. Can I do this now? God against the waste. Yeah what are you trying to do?

So cast a spell and detect alignment so I can sort of get a sense of what these things. Yeah yeah yeah. I don't really like to do magic very much because wizards do a lot of magic and I don't fucking wizard stuff. Yeah we get it. You're racist man. You're racist against wizards. You're racist against elves for some reason. But when appropriate I'll pull out the big guns. Yeah. And like we talked about it's not really it's not magic in the magic sense.

It's more like you've been to the spirit world before so you're attuned to all of this. So cast a spell. When you cast a spell choose an alignment. Good, evil, lawful, or chaotic. One of your senses is briefly able to detect that alignment. 2d6 plus your wisdom I believe to cast a cleric spell. Shit. Six. Six. So that is a failure. Can I help? Because I might be holding his hand. Yeah you could aid. Oh yeah. That's true. That's true. Do we get a plus one because we're holding hands?

Just roll 2d6 flat. A plus one for holding hands. Seven. Alright yeah so that makes it a seven which is great. What are you doing when you cast the spell? Like how does it work? So I choose an alignment and try and detect if anything in our… Yeah but what is Shathane doing? Underneath his cloaks and everything. Not obvious to everybody. There's some religious artifacts.

He clasps them and he sort of puts his hand out in a little sort of Yoda raising an X-wing way and tries to perceive this alignment. He's trying he's looking for evil alignment is really what he's trying to detect if the roots and everything have evil intent. Okay. So I take the arm that has the new tree tattoo on it and I put it on his shoulder and you see the tree tattoo bleed into his skin. Cool. Heavy. That's heavy. Yeah. And I was I just… You were just gonna grab him?

I didn't mean to do it. I just put my arm on his shoulder just cause like… And then your tattoo started moving? I'm scared of the dark so I'm like… And it kind of mysteriously matches up because I've got this tooled leather sort of ceremonial armor on and that tree shape lines right up with… Cool. And then I'm like… Are you seeing this? So on a 7 to 9 with cast a spell… I think the ghost root really fucked me up. On a 7 to 9 with cast a spell you have to choose one.

You draw unwelcome attention or put yourself in a spot. Your casting distances you from your deity. Take minus one ongoing to cast a spell until the next time you commune. After you cast it the spell is revoked. You cannot cast the spell again until you commune and have it granted. I think the revoke one cause then that's gonna make me potentially try and use other spells. So yeah. We'll use the revoked. Cool. Sounds good.

So yeah you attune your senses to evil alignment and you do not sense anything evil from the roots. You feel like this is just a… This is a natural reaction to a parent feeling like it's children are in danger. So I think we both feel that somehow. Just through our connection right now we just get it and we just we know it's safe to move forward and continue to… Well it's wrapped around our legs. Yeah you're wrapped up in the roots.

So once it gets you like sort of up to the waist zone you just start getting dragged through the earth in an upright position but you get pulled forward. Okay I take the guitar off my back and I want to sing it a song till I kind of chill it out. Time for a song! Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. You have to help me. God damn it. Holding hands now helping sing a song. Yeah I need you to help me sing this song. Alright. Do you know any songs about trees? That's okay.

I just make them up usually on this one. Every single song I know is about trees. Oh cool. So it's gonna be hard to pick a specific one so maybe if I get a little start Here I'll start it up. Alright. Hempmas trees you are so beautiful Orchery you make me want to see you in the sky you will be free. Free like a tree with the tree and the bee Did you know that bee rhymes with tree and that's when you get to see That last bit was it got better in the end. It got way better. It was amazing.

So you you get pull Jesus Christ. Is that a roll or anything? Yeah do I roll for it? Divide angel charisma? I guess so yeah. Five six seven. Oh thank god.

So you okay you know what happens So as you're singing this song and uh getting pulled forward in this in the earth um you get to a point where you see larger roots ahead of you and uh like large roots like big around as a person and the roots that are holding you come to a stop and one snakes out of up out of the earth and takes your like snatches your guitar out of your hands and just holds it away from you. What why no come on give that back.

You see near the tangle of man-sized roots the tree that you fought earlier that you cut the roots of and it's like got branches pressed against a larger trunk like it's hugging the leg of a parent. You hear the and the the whole trunk of that tree bends down and the boughs of the tree with these big wide dark leaves gets re it moves in and comes very close to the two of you and like the sound of wind blowing through the boughs of a tree you hear a voice. You hurt my child.

Sorry you hurt me with that song. I'd like to try and cure light wounds on the injured tree. Oh cool. Okay, but you need it like do you what do you say to the tree? What do I say to the tree to the to the parent tree the one that's telling that it doesn't enjoy the music. Yeah, I just say let me try and help. I think I might know how to yeah, you're gonna have to convince this tree.

It's not it's it like you see a large bow come down and cover the child tree like does that a parlay to allow me to try and cast this be like a defy danger charisma or something like that. I I reach I just I reach up and I grab his leg and I'm like, hey, just dig deep. You gotta be vulnerable with these things. I think I could just roll up my sleeve and show my tattoo which doesn't mean a lot to other people but to something someone some spirit and spirit world seems obvious what that means.

Mm hmm. Yeah. So yeah, roll a 2d6 plus charisma eight eight it hums a little bit and says oh, yes, you will help no more music. What the fuck? The music was good in the end. It got good at the end. The music was great at the end. Yeah, we can just take a little break and try not to get destroyed by these roots. Okay, so it moves its bow and pushes the smaller tree forward and the tree sort of shyly walks up turning like it turns away from you here and there.

It's trying to get its cut roots sort of in the back. So I'm going to try and cast a cure light wounds 2d6 plus wisdom. Oh, 12 12. Wonderful. So you roll a d8 for four not bad. So crouch down instead of reaching into my cloak and pulling out some weird little icons. I have a little bag. They look like standard sort of first day supplies, but they're not. They're different. A band-aid? There's different little things, different bandages that have things in them.

And so I put my hands over them and activate them magically. They start to glow. What is that? Like some kind of tree gauze you got in there? That's exactly what it is. That's exactly what it is. So it starts to glow when I put it on my hands and I put my hands on the wound and I comfort the tree and start to heal it. And it goes like and it nuzzles you a little bit weirdly like some leaves sort of rub against you in a very thankful way. Very sexual way.

I instinctively tip my head away and just stand up and stand back a little bit. Yeah. And the tree sort of like at the big tree and the big tree goes and Bao comes down and pats it along, you know, when a kid kind of or a parent kind of pats their kid on the back like, okay, there you go. And the tree hustles off past the two of you into the darkness. And Billy, you are sitting with Perel on top of Perel or maybe you've got off of him at this point. No, I'm like kind of lounging there still.

Just kicking back. Yeah. And out of the darkness you hear getting like louder and louder. Whoa, what's that? And Perel crouches down a little bit like a like a dog. It's like something's coming. Okay. And then out of the darkness you see the tree. And it's not paying you any mind, but it passes through the field of light that Perel is casting and goes like, okay. And then just hustles back off into the tree line. Wow. I was really tense there for a second.

Perel says, I guess it must be going well. I guess so. He kind of turns his head and he's trying to get a good look at you on his back like just a okay, hold on. Okay, here we go. And his neck elongates a little bit. Oh my God. I'm getting the hang of this. Why do you have to do this? I'm starting to figure this out. This is pretty interesting. Actually, I have such a degree of control over my physicality here. Gross. It's just sorry. It's been a long time since I've had a body of any kind.

Yeah, keep it to yourself though. Like I can't do stuff like that. And I would even if I could, I wouldn't do it as grossly as you are. He shakes his head a little bit like children. And he looks at you and he says, so have you given any thought to my offer? Teaching you? Not really, to be honest, because I just want to get our friend back and then I can think about things later. But you know the power that you could command. Oh, yes.

Do you have you have you had any experiences like the one at the pool since since then? I know it's only been what a couple almost a week or so since the pool. I don't know. Nothing like that. I mean, I did. I don't really like to share this information. But one time in my town, I accidentally set fire to a grain silo. I did not do it on purpose, but people got really mad and it was like the third time I've done that and I didn't know what I was doing.

See, this is the sort of thing I'm talking about. If you were trained, if you learned, if you taught yourself or had a teacher, any sort of wiggles, his fishy eyebrows, you wouldn't have that sort of thing happen anymore. Those powers that you exhibit, you would be able to use to your benefit. Oh, my God. I really don't care right now. I'm just saying I could teach you a little something right now. We could be so tired. I haven't had lunch. Oh, you haven't eaten? No.

Oh, there's nothing to eat here. Hold on. I am. And you feel like the torso, sort of start to like… There's some things in here we could see. No. There's something to eat. No. No? Nope. Not eating your weird magic poops and other things that you have in there. Tacoma, he… I was sort of aware from the box, but he was giving this thing objects, right? Like a coin. He kind of… You see him like close his eyes and like think about what's in his body like and a bottle? Yeah. And…

Oh, there are definitely other things in here. Oh. Gross. Wow. I don't like where this is going. All right. Well, should we try and get closer? Sure. Okay. And he starts to like pick his way towards the tree. Tuck and Shathane, you are with this tree and the tree is bent down to talk to you. So what exactly about this song did you not like? Is it like you don't like music in general? Or… Is it like you don't like rock music? Music is not for the forest. Well, that explains it then.

The forest… It was a good song. I think we can all agree it was a good song. And then I lean forward, I touch the tree, like, it was a good song. It hated your music so much that it learned how to talk. It was humming and hymning. Yeah. And then I lean over to Shathane, I put my arm on his shoulder, I'm like, I think we can all agree that it was a good song. So the tree, yeah, the tree like shakes its branches. And you just hear… That is music. Okay.

And you hear, like, the cry of some sort of animal like… In the distance. And it goes, that is music. What have you come for? Why are you here? Um… It's a long story, but our friend, who is a shapeshifter, was murdered by that, and then I… Yeah, you see the light of the fish pony sort of moving forward? It's got a really long neck now. Yeah. And it's picking forward through the roots. Fucking wizard. So gross.

Anyway, he killed our friend, so we had to venture into the spirit realm to try and find him. To bring him back to life. There are not many of your kind in the spirit world. And when you do come, you bring nothing but pain. It sort of shakes your guitar a little bit. And frustration and imbalance. Have you seen a guy that's, like, tall, with, like, long, flowing silver hair, who's got a lot of flaps? He's maybe got a staff with him, or a spear?

We never really established which one of those things it was. My children are spread wide across this realm. Can I come up at this point? Yeah, you get closer, and the tree's like, Hey! Because I'd overheard it. Do you think you can ask one of them? Ooh. Perhaps. It wants something. First, what do you think it wants? I have a blue hat. Do you want my hat? Yeah. Everybody, dig in to your inventory. Wait. And let's go through everything that we have. We were so close, but it's blue! Ew, blue hats.

Forests do not like birdy hats. We have three blue hats. Okay, so it, um… Okay, here's what I have. I have one obsidian coin. I have the guitar that you have… You're gonna give it back. I have an impenetrable billhook. I have an axe. It stops you. It stops you. It, like, shakes all of its branches. It says, No, no, no, no, no, no. What I want is… Life for my children. I want them to flourish and grow in this place and in other places.

And if you are to find your friend with my help, you will help them grow. Yeah, super ominous, but okay, whatever. Like how, though? You have to be more specific. Everything in this world is so vague, and I am very grumpy. I am sick of this! So, um, it says you agree you will help. You did not tell us what to do. You have to tell us. No! And I slap it. Whoa, what do you slap? The air. It's so far away, there's nothing to actually slap, so you're just like… I can't tell how far it is.

I'm so mad! And I'm like, yeah, Billy's right. I agree. And then I shake its brain. Whoa, no. This is very well… And then I turn around and give Billy a thumbs up. And I shake my head at him. Oh, no! You hear the sound of roots being pulled out of the earth on the other side of the tree, and you see moving from root to root sort of like passing things down like a chain of people.

It brings a root out of the ground, and it's got this little basket that it's woven out of its own roots, and it holds it out to you, and inside planted in the earth is about one to two foot tall sapling. Oh, perfect. Cute. It says, you will help my children grow, and I will help you find yours. Sure, you just need us to plant this wherever, right? Plant this in a place that it would like. A place where no other trees grow. Okay. We will bring through you my children to a new land. Oh, God.

Imagine if we could find a hill with no trees on it. Fine, fine. Just be one tree on that hill. And then we went up to the top of that hill, and then we planted that tree. I take that stupid tree, and I put it in front of me. I'm like, fine. Okay. So it's sort of the basket that it's woven sort of comes off of the branch. It makes this little basket-y bag with kind of little handle bits near the top. What's its name? It shakes its branches. Just give us a name.

Like, name it, or else we're going to name it, and you're going to be upset with the name that we choose. Its name is… My name is all names. Fuck me. Oh, my God. Its name is my name is all names? Oh. You guys. You guys want to play a fantasy game? Just. Try and be fantasy. No, name it a normal name. Its name is you. Are you? Who's you? Please leave. Okay. Take my child. I'm going to call him Gary. Oh, Gary. Hey, I'm going to name you Gary. Does the sapling do anything? It shakes a little bit.

Cool. I think he likes it. He likes that name. You will find your friend on the other side of my forest. Through the hills. Through the plain. In the hive of the wasp. Thanks for listening, everybody. I've been your game master Sean O'Hara. With me, as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. I don't think that's a slur. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. I have a blue hat. Playing Shathane, the elf ranger, Mark Robertson. You sound like my boss.

Thanks to Aaron Reed of the Sunday Service for our awesome theme song. Thanks to Mark Robertson for letting us play in his basement. You're welcome. We'll catch you next time, everybody. Thanks for listening. Though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I gladly spell dawn.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Alright, welcome to Spellt Lore everybody, I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara.

With me, playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hey! Playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Yes, hello. Playing Shathane the Elf Ranger, Mark Robertson. Hello! Cartwyn is standing in her place like, alright, we're… We're gonna do this now. Thankfully they haven't found it. Thankfully they didn't find it while they were tossing the place. I guess it was pretty well hidden, I'm pretty happy with that, if I do say so myself.

And she walks over to the bookshelf that she spear tackled that kid against. And she hooks her fingers in the side. And yanks it to the side. And you see that it reveals a small doorway. Like, pretty short and not super wide, but it opens up, like she walks in. And it obviously opens up into another room. Like you see light come from inside the doorway. As she's lighting candles or lamps or something like that.

She pops out and she says, alright, just come in here, it's the only safe place now, I think. Wicker pops up in a planter, and she's sniffing an orange flower. Which you recognize as the flower. Which is the flowers that Wicker has been following since you left Mudlark. Billie, do you follow Cartwin into the secret room? I guess so, but I kinda wanna take this flower with me. So you just like yank it out of the pot? Well, I just scoop it with my hands with the dirt.

And I'm like, okay, here we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you bring it in. You notice that Cartwin looks at you. Like she turns very sharply to look at you with the flower. And looks at the flower and her eyes kinda get a little wide. Oh. She goes, I'll, I'll, how about I, I'll take that. Okay. And she's just very delicate. Mm-hmm. Very expensive. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, it's absolutely, it's okay, it's okay. Don't be, don't be sorry. Mm-hmm.

I'm just gonna go replant this real quick, real quick. Yeah. I'll be back. Okay. And she leaves you alone for a second in her secret room. Mm-hmm. There's like pillows on the ground, like cushions. Oh, yeah. And she's got candles on stands on either side. And she's got a little table and a little chest. And laid out on the table are various implements that are very strange to you. Mm-hmm. There's, you know, carved sticks and crystals. Yeah.

And a bunch of things you don't, like, like a ball of yarn. Mm-hmm. Like all this weird stuff. And then there's a chest underneath. Looks like it's got a lock on it, but it's under the table. Is there anything you guys wanna do while she's left you alone in here? I, yeah, let's just fucking rifle through everything. No, this is my friend. Oh, fine. Guys. Well, what about like a little bit, like if I just look with my eyes? Yes. I just turn my head towards the doorway and ignore what you, yeah.

Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna look with my eyes. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna look at this, I'll look at the chest. It's closer to me. Okay. Can I? Oh, you, well, I mean, it's a chest. You don't have to roll anything to look at it. Oh. Is it special in any way, though? It looks like it's been through a lot, because it is made out of a very nice looking wood. Mm. That at one times was probably quite lustrous. Okay. What's in it? It's locked. Okay.

Well, I tried to look with my eyes and it didn't work, so I'm gonna look with my hands. And start trying to get it open. So you're gonna, you're gonna try and pick the lock? Yeah. Okay, that's tools of the trade. Keep in mind that this is literally five minutes after she attacked a guy for stealing. Yeah, Billy's. Well, they were being disrespectful and I am being very respectful. Okay. So yeah, you go ahead and roll 2d6 plus dexterity, I think, for tricks of the trade. 10, yeah. No? Okay, yeah.

So what happens with, what's tricks of the trade? On a 10, I do it, no problem. All right. So you poke around in the lock with your, you have little twigs, right, that you use to… Yeah, I have a twig in my hair and… You also have the pin still, I think. Oh, do I? Yeah. So I'm like, ooh, which one? So I use the pin, it looks more fun. So you, yeah, you're using the mender's needle. Yeah, I am. Yeah, so you dig around in there and, you know, click, click, click. Bunk. Ooh. And the lock opens.

You guys, come here. It's, there's like bundles of herbs and stuff in here and different kinds of stones and you see a bundle of sharp… They're probably about… Six, seven inches long and there's a little bottle of black ink that's pretty low. It's about halfway full. It's just mixed in with all these different kinds of herbs and bags of what feel like sand or gravel. It's just a bunch of weird stuff. I want a Spout Lore about the contents of this box. Okay. Can I do that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah? So yeah, give me a 2D6 plus intelligence for Spout Lore. Five. So do you… Oh, fuck. So you see a root in the chest and it reminds you of a root from McCall that you know is delicious. And you haven't had it since you left. It's a white root. So you're like, oh man, I haven't seen white root in years. Yeah. So what do you do with it? Do you just eat it? You can eat it or you can grind it up. Do I have enough time to grind it up? Absolutely not. Okay. I eat it.

The whole thing? Yeah. I'm just gonna eat it. Okay. So you're like, oh, I'm gonna eat it. I'm gonna eat it. I'm gonna eat it. I'm gonna eat it. I'm gonna eat it. I'm gonna eat it. The whole thing? Yeah. Wow, greedy. Yeah. You just pop this pale root in your mouth. And as you do that, you're chewing on it. Cartwyn comes back in. She's wiping dirt off her hands. And she sees you two rifling through her chest. She's like, what are you doing? And then I'll turn around and I'll…

What are they doing? Oh my God. And she walks over and she starts like, what did you do? Did you… She sees you chewing. And she's like, did you eat something in here? No. No. No. Did you just eat one entire ghost root? What's ghost root? Oh my Lord. I thought that was white root. I can feel… Why would you eat it if it was… Because, fuck, white root makes you feel like anything is possible. It's also highly addictive. Yes. But… It takes years off your life. It does? Oh my… Wow.

Okay, whatever. I'm gonna ignore the fact that you all just tried to steal from me. No. Because I'm trying to help you because we're all friends now. We are. And that's why friends share drugs. I don't know what that's gonna do to you. Okay. So we'll see, I guess. Well, I am feeling some indigestion. I rub your tummy. Oh, that's nice. Okay, let's get started. Wow. She looks at Shathane. Thank you. I'm so glad that you introduced me to these morons. Hey. Yeah, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have said morons. I should have said idiots. Okay, all right. You're a moron. You're a moron. You're a moron. You're a moron. You're a moron. You're a moron. Oh, look. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron.

There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron. There's a moron.

Enough for me so cartwin makes sure that everybody's in the room she's chathane tantamiles here wickers chilling billy tuck all good she's all right I just want you to understand the gravity of this situation what I'm about to attempt and she walks over and like starts closing the bookshelf back over the hole what I'm about to attempt I haven't done in decades we're going to attempt to okay we're going to attempt to make contact with the spirit world cool and I'm going to attempt it's okay she kind of puts a hand on on chathane's arm we're going to attempt to help you crossover isn't necessarily the right term but could you pay attention tuck and she sees tuck looking around the room like hey I yeah I zoned out so yeah this is a big deal yeah I heard you say that and then I zoned out okay we're going to attempt to push your no hey over here sorry your spirits your spirits hey could you just for three seconds are you okay I ghost route yeah okay I'll tell the kid what we're going to do is we're going to try and push your spirits over to the other side cool to see if you can make contact with your friend nice I haven't done this to myself in a long long time and I haven't done this to anybody and she puts her her hand on chathane's arm again but chathane in at least 30 years well I trust you completely okay great because you're probably going to hate this next part what we need to do is we need to find a way to anchor the essence of your spirits here so you're not completely lost when you cross over and how we do that and she starts rifling through her her thing and she pulls out the bundle of pointy bits and the bottle of ink she says I'm gonna have to mark you what why do you like explain more about what you mean okay I'm gonna have to give you a tattoo uh so lame I know and then I stick out my leg she says okay so you're going for a leg tattoo oh is that weird no I I'm just interested in why that was your first okay maybe my face and then I brush my hair okay yeah no give him a leg let me let me let me let me explain this a little bit further I was taught how to do this by a druid a long time ago here let me ask a question real quick I was literally in the middle of an explanation can you do like a bart simpson on my peck if you would give me two seconds to explain yeah so she says okay so yeah I learned how to do this a long long time ago from a druid named wally boda and he uh he mastered this he's a master tattooist he's a master boda anyways no paul gave me that name oh I asked paul about all this stuff he told me all that like how this all works okay he tricked you wow yeah great is uh he's a druid and he is a master I can't believe you need to know he didn't set it up I don't think he did maybe he did you guys I was like you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna do a little bit of a tattoo what I'm gonna try and make this like kind of intense kind of sincere like like like weird and spiritual and psychedelic yeah and you're all doing fucking masturbation jokes okay sorry go again it's fine it's fine do it again it's fine no it's good it's just his last name that that doesn't quite fit the wally part's perfect though if you want to be mysterious yeah anyways so he taught me how to do this this is a method he developed to anchor spirits on this side while also letting enough of the spirit through to the other side that you can affect your environment travel sort of astrally project by way of a quick explanation master boda suggested that spirits aren't defined by their presence but by the absences around them so it's they're sort of the negative space within your experience okay so could you do a less quick explanation yes please explain more I have to tattoo you with the thing that you lost and missed the most a representation there's some symbols and some ruins to connect it but it'll be an abstract representation I only need to do you two shithanes I did years ago can I see yours so I reluctantly roll my arm up and there's three shapes on there small circle a large circle and a smaller square and there's sort of weird it's a weird snowman cool snowman with a square head side by side oh okay and there's sort of a weird snowman with a square head side by side and there's sort of a weird snowman with a square head side by side sort of connected by dots and lines almost looking like a constellation like around them and she says yeah so that's what we need to do so I just need to ask each of you to give me a quick explanation of something that you lost and missed the most in your life uh tuck we'll start with you maybe do you need everybody else to leave or are you comfortable with this I think I'm okay with everyone knowing this okay it's hard to say um we were in this town a little while back and there was this kid uh who I was scaring a lot and I accidentally gave him a bag of my guitar picks oh god and I think about those guitar picks every day you know you know this isn't gonna work if you don't tell me the truth I I don't know I don't have anything that I've really lost there was I'm an orphan a random man found me who was a used cart dealer and he raised me and taught me how to read and he taught me how to sell different types of carts and how to appraise carts and I lived with him until I was nine years old and then he was murdered and then I lived in the wilderness for a while and I know how to play music and then everything else in my life happened and then that is the story of tacoma no losses and no sadness so fuck you tell me about your father I don't have one your adopted father the man that found you and raised you bruce spruce yeah he was a good man do you miss him uh yes oh yeah then that's the thing that I miss all right I think that's probably a good place to start okay and she takes a sharp thing from the bundle and she says this is a quill from boda's animal form he takes the form of a porcupine and these are the quills that he gifted me when he taught me these techniques this is ink from his spirit companion lakshi he's an octopus she lives at the bottom of the sea somewhere I've never met her and she has made the journey across between this place in the spirit world more times than anything or anyone else that I know so this is the ink that we're going to be able to use to help speed the process of the process of the process of the process of the process between this world and the next and she gets started she dips the quill in the ink and she starts basically giving you a stick and poke tattoo um of a representation of bruce spruce and the loss that you feel around him and there's a point where she's she's doing that and she asked you like like seed questions basically like give me an idea of how this makes you feel and as she goes she's sort of she's sort of free ball in it like she sort of falls into her own world and she's like I don't know what to do with this I don't know what to do with this kind of trance and she finishes the tattoo what does it look like it's a tree that starts uh at the base of my leather wrist guard and goes all the way up my forearm uh but the tree as it gets closer to the wrist guard is getting uh more and more desiccated and dead so the top branches of of the tree are still alive and they're still flowering and there are like a lot of different flowers in them and a lot of different leaves uh and then as you move down the tree there become less and less leaves and less and less flowers and then at the base of the tree in the trunk it looks sick and dying and you do actually see like it is it is there is the tree like motif but you do see that there are symbols and the same connected constellation of of dots not the same but in a different sort of pattern around that almost like it's binding it like it's like tying it up or chaining it to your body okay she says all right billy um are you comfortable talking about this kind of thing I guess but I don't remember very much okay well why don't you tell me about something that you lost and missed the most something that you think about often well I have a lot of memories and I've been around a long time so I had friends she kind of laughs a little bit like what been a long okay how old are you oh I don't know like nine but I might have turned 10 recently I guess I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I can't really remember okay and I had friends and they got old and they died and then I became friends with their kids and they got old and they died and my mom and my dad left a long time ago I don't know where they went I don't really want to talk about that um and then I got I stole a blanket and I don't know where I put that blanket and I do think about that blanket a lot is that the blanket that billy wears as a cloak oh there it is oh so is there something is there something relating to to comfort and happiness like some sort of I guess it'd be nice but mostly I miss my mom my dad okay I don't know what they look like and maybe I never had them but I like to think I did that's um that's a lot for a little boy yeah well no one really ever asked me before okay all right well we'll get started are you gonna be okay with this yeah where do you where do you so charged up where do you want where do you want it where should I get it where would look best I don't know what like maybe your maybe your arm how does that okay how about your leg I don't know you could do it like full back tattoo wow yeah my advice for future employment purposes is to get it on the inside of your upper arm wear like a t-shirt or something will cover it up and it won't really be obvious that you're going to get it on the inside of your upper arm you've got tattoos when you go and look for a job when you're grown up okay so where does billy billy wants the tattoo on his back no because then I can't see it because I want to see it okay your classiest place is like right on your neck oh my double chin lift the chin up it doesn't have to be huge what about palms of your hand I was just thinking yeah my hand because then I can look at it and feel like I'm looking at them that's gonna be very painful I'm brave okay so I give I guess I sit down next to billy and I give him my hand okay to hold and she starts and it's the same process she starts giving the tattoo based on what you talked about and then she falls into a bit of a trance also it hurts a lot yeah I know because like doesn't palm of the hand stuff like suck really bad probably I I'm talking to him like distracting oh yeah I'm like juggling pieces of like croutons and I am like throwing them into his mouth wow hey hey hey hey watch these croutons hey oh okay and then it's done and yeah so what does the tattoo look like it looks like um uh oh what if what if it's something representing the two rivers the sunwise and the oh it's true okay so it's just it's just like two lines that's it with like the dots and the lines around them because they stick because all of them you notice that have this like constellation around them it's like one dot here and then a line and then the dot on the other side and then a line and that's literally oh I see yeah so yeah billy's ends up quite simple yeah it's basically like two circles on opposite sides yeah and then you're like oh I see yeah so yeah and then lines yeah going the opposite direction of each other cool I want to get that real tattoo now that sounds cool yeah that sounds dope great so she says all right that's the first step cool why is mine crazy detail you tell me and I say look at tantamiles and then I pull her fur back and it's like a little stuffed mouse but uh she says all right this next part again I haven't done it in a while but it should you should be okay hopefully I'm sure it'll be fine and she starts pulling like herbs and stuff out of her chest and she grabs a metal bowl like a copper bowl and she puts it in the center of the room and she starts ripping stuff up and putting it in there and then she lights a little little tinder off of um off the candle drops it in the bowl and it starts smoking up and she just asks you all to sit around the bowl on a cushion or whatever would be most comfortable for you yeah then she starts humming it goes up and down and back and forth and she's like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry then you feel like weird depth and movement in this humming and it's there's a point where it reaches an almost stereo like quality like you feel it moving around you the smoke is filling the room and it's becoming hard to see you can see patches of light from the candles in the corners of the room and you can see each other but you can't see much else the whole room sort of takes on this warm orange glow cartwin's kind of moving side to side she's moving her arms and the the kind of cloaky jacket she was wearing over her self starts to slip down a little bit over her like jerkin don't make that noise I did I'm okay I'm okay and you're all starting to feel a little you're all starting to feel a little tired like you've been up for days and your eyes are starting to take that like warm heavy quality and you see her her jacket slips down and you see pinned you see pinned to sort of the lapel of the jerkin that she's wearing underneath you see all of her clothes are like all of her clothes are like all of her clothes are like all of her a copper pin and then the smoke envelopes all of you and you can't see anything just but warm orange light and then the light passes and the smoke clears and the three of you are sitting on the ground there's lush green grass underneath you the light filters down from the sky with almost an underwater quality it's filtered it's soft it's kind of got a deep blue tinge to it and you notice that there's a tall tree and a tree and a a tall tree next to you, a single tall tree, and maybe about 15 feet out from where you're sitting, the grass ends.

Whoa. And I puke. You know what? You feel really sick. Tuck specifically feels really sick, but you don't vomit. Why? Why don't I? You don't feel like you can. Okay, I guess I just start dry heaving then. Yeah, it's basically the feeling of intense nausea. Could you actually take a debility? And it's going to be a minus one to all constitution rolls. Well, I'm going to go try to make him feel better. Okay, yeah. Yeah. So Billy just goes over and is trying to comfort tuck.

Yeah, and then I unhook my blanket cloak, which I obviously forgot I was wearing, and then I put it around his shoulders. Thank you. You're welcome. Is there like a river or stream nearby that splashes water on my face? I go running to look. You are like 10 feet out from where you're all sitting. It ends. The world ends. Billy, you run to the edge. You see further down, maybe 30 feet more ground, but you see that there's nothing supporting the part that you're sitting on.

And in the distance, you see other chunks of earth. You see like pieces of what look like bodies of water that are just free floating in the air. Everything around you has this very strange floaty quality to it. Even as you walk, you feel the air is different. If it's air. Chathain, what the fuck is going? Can I Spout Lore? You absolutely can. Where we are? Because I've been here before. You've been here before. Yeah. Whoa. Nice. 10 and intelligence? Intelligence, yeah. 11. Fitting.

So I'll tell you so I get to tell you something useful and interesting. What is this part of the spirit world called? I call it the interface. Yeah. And you know that this is so what you know about the interface is this is a region of the spirit world where visitors usually manifest. Is you're not if you're not a spirit. This is where you show up in the spirit world. What is useful about this is you know that this is a place where guides usually come to try and help visitors.

If there are spirits that that feel helpful towards outsiders, this is usually where they'll show up. So you think if you were to look around, you might be able to find something to help someone something to help you. I'll look around and see if I can see anything, anything or anyone or anything that I recognize today from my previous visits from where you're standing on this sort of floating chunk of earth. You you look out and you see what looks like a pond.

But instead of cool, clear water, it's sort of a bright yellow light. But it is like 30 feet down from where you are. I feel like it's definitely possible to get there, though. Yeah. Like I feel like I could just jump because I need to be there. I could get there. Okay. Yeah. Give me a defy danger wisdom. And you might get a let me just check with spell or but you might get a plus one. That's bad. No, you don't get a plus. How much wisdom do you have? Lots, but not enough. So four, six.

Wait, what if we help him? Yeah, you could potentially help. How would you help? I would dangle him down and get him real close. Yeah. Yeah. So I dangle him down. So he has like less to drop. Yeah. So roll 2d6 plus your bond. All right. I'm going to try this. Do you have any bonds with your thing? No. So it's flat 2d6. 6, 7, 8, 9. Nice. Yeah. So you get the plus one. So it's a seven.

You are hung over the edge by Tacoma and he lets you go and you drop really hard for a couple seconds and then it feels like something catches you and you start slowly falling. You still hit a little bit harder than you maybe would have wanted to roll a d4. One. One. Yeah. So you feel you like kind of jar when you hit the ground and you feel your legs give out a little bit and you roll, but you take one damage and you hear tantamount like on the edge like whatever noise tantamount makes.

That's it. Exactly. Yeah. And she's she seems unwilling to jump. Well, I can speak with her or at whatever level I can. She just because she's scared of the. Yeah. She's like this seems pretty high. You're a giant cat. You can jump much better than me. Get get the big guy to drop you down. Okay. Okay. I guess she digs her claws into my arm and I go out. Fuck. Fuck you. Stupid cat. Fucking piece of shit. And then I I dangle her down and I was like fucking bitch.

She's like kicking around with her bottom leg like fucking piece of shit cat and you let her go and she kind of tumbles a little bit as she comes down, but she hits the ground and on all fours. Yeah, she's a cat. Great. She always does. Wow. She didn't even need that help. Yeah. I'm super stuck that I have these scratch marks all over my arm. Exactly. So and yeah, Billy and tuck your on this sort of little floating island. What do you do? I look at tuck. I'm like, dude, do you want to jump? Yes.

Yeah, let's do it. You guys give me a defy danger wisdom. Okay. Wisdom. Yeah. Four. Five. Ten. Ten. Okay. Billy succeeds. What does Billy just jump off? Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, you just catch this like weird. You feel like a little current in the air. You catch this little current. You go like down onto the ground and you hit the ground very lightly. Just like bloop. Yeah. Wow. And then right next to you. Nails the ground next to you. Platform shape. Yeah. Could you could you roll a d4 for me?

Two. Yeah. So you take two damage. No, you mean one because. Oh, right. Because your armor isn't armor. It's just you're tough. Okay. Yeah. So you take one. I should say. Yeah, because you do have armor, but it's not really like make sure I don't hit the ground too hard armor, but tucks just like flat tougher than everybody else. Mine. So I don't get scratched by brambles. Oh, brambles. Yeah. So you're on the ground and you're closer to this little pond. And I guess I'm kind of question.

I'm like, what? Where? Why? Or where are we going? Let's go this water. Let's get in you. So I start bringing like handfuls of water to you. Yeah. Get it in me. Yeah. So you're Billy's picking like you. The water isn't really water. Like it feels like it's just like hard light. Basically. Oh, well, I still scoop your hands in it. And there's this luminous little puddle. All right. Open your mouth. Okay.

It's weird because it like gets near tuck and then it parts like a centimeter from this face and pours down onto the ground. Fuck. I'm so thirsty and sick. Oh, can I eat some of this grass that's on the ground? I start doing that out of desperation. Try the same thing. Just won't go in. Can you eat? Try eating some of the grass. Okay. And then I'm like, same thing. Shathane, you have done this before. So something that this is something that Paul told me.

He described eating in the spirit world as sort of like that scene from Hook where you have to believe. Basically, like you can't just take it for granted like people do on in the material world. Like you have to you have to feel like this is a necessary thing and that this is like so you understand what you're doing to the spirit world. So tantamounts. Yeah. Tantamounts on grass. Yeah. She's like, yeah. Licking up the water like a regular cat. Okay. So are you going to explain that to us? Yeah.

What Paul told Sean to say. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So you do. You do. So it needs to be like a conscious. Try less hard and more hard at the same time. So you guys can give me a defy danger wisdom again. Wow. So much. Thirteen. Eleven. Okay. Wow. You guys got. So you kind of you kind of yeah, you get it. You're like, oh, yeah, less hard and more hard like Hook and then I go and like lick water out like tantamount. Yeah. Yeah. I sit down at the edge of the stream and I sing a song to it.

That is very hard rock. Get into my mouth. All right. I hope there's not be inside of you. Orange water light is going to get into my mouth. And then as I do that, the light water comes up. Wow. And I open my mouth. I'm like, get up in there. Wow. And you you do that. You're singing this weird song. It's not weird. It's good. All the water runs away from me. No, you see you see the water like rising up in front of Tuck as he's singing the song.

And then when it when a song ends, the water comes away and there's almost the exact same color as the pond, like the face of a koi. Like it's just kind of floating in the air. Holy shit. And it's so it's a koi fish, but its head is bent forward like it's standing, but it's kind of swimming in the air. What the fuck? Just like what is happening? It's floating in front of you like that was a nice song. Yeah, I really like that music. Yeah, that was wonderful. Oh, thank you.

Thank you for sharing that with me. Cool. Oh, you talk with words. It looks at you quizzically. Yeah, of course I do. Oh, have you seen a friend of ours? His name is Bing and we've come to look for him. I'm not so good with names. OK, well, let's describe him. Yeah. He's tall and thin ish. He's got flaps and pockets. He's got kills and big wild gray hair. Yes, it's all over the place. He's an elf. Elf. No elf. Hmm. I may have seen someone similar to what you're describing.

But if I did, it was a long time ago. Oh, fuck me. Well, are there any other things here that could help us? I didn't say I couldn't help you. Where? Can you? Can you take us to where you saw him? I can try. OK. And it's kind of floating back and forth. But what's in it for me? Oh, God. And I put my hands in my backpack and I'm like, oh, God, what the hell is in here? And then I feel the glass of the bottle that I stole and I pull it out and I look at it. What's the title on it?

Which one did I grab? The title of this bottle is Lords Without Faith. Oh, cool. Oh, cool. Not the one that I wanted, but still pretty cool title. I've heard that there's a bootleg of this where the lead guitarist dies partway through the album. They keep going. Wow. It's wild. Anyway, if you like that music that I played, what's your name? I'm not so good with names. Holy shit. OK. You're going to have to roll a parlay.

If you like that music that I was singing, anthropomorphic talking fish, then you will love the music that's in this bottle. There's music in that bottle. Yes. A lot. Like 97 minutes worth. I like music. And I crack it a little bit and let a little bit out. And then I cap it back. Its eyes widen a little bit. And then I'm like, oh, you see its gills kind of flip a little bit. Like, oh. That was weirdly sexual, but OK. Well. It's a hot fish. Your voice is great.

But what people will not get on the podcast is that you are slowly waving back and forth. Like a fish. Like a fish swimming in the air. It's hypnotic. Yeah. It is hypnotic. I'm rolling a parlay. Yes, you are rolling a parlay. 2D6 plus your charisma. 9 plus 2, 11. All right. Yeah. So the fish says, I'm going to roll a parlay. Very well. You give me that bottle. And I'll take you to where I saw your friend. No. I'll give you this bottle when we get to our friend. Who am I to argue?

Then it like flat. It straightens out into like a fish shape, like a fish swimming shape. Yeah. Sort of bloop swims around you guys. And then swims in a circle. And then swims off like, I think it was this way. And start swimming away. Wait, how do we follow? Oh, it's still. It's still ground. Like it's fall. It's swimming at a reasonable height, at least for a while. And the chunk that you guys are on right now has a lot of connecting bits there.

There are pieces that have come off and are floating around above you. Some very, very high. And some, when you get to like, you'll get to a part where there's, it's broken away and there's sort of roots connecting it. And you see it goes far, far below you as well. But the chunk that you're on is fairly large. And sometimes the fish will forget that you're, you're, people with legs and will like swim a little too high and then go, oh, I forgot. And then swim back down.

And it says, oh, I forgot many times. And it takes an indeterminate amount of time. Like it feels like we've been walking for maybe two minutes, maybe 200 years. Yeah, exactly. Like it's a sort of like, wow, there's just no way to tell how long things take here. Where's the light coming from in this place? Everywhere. Weird. Yeah. But it's a binky, binky blackness too. It's like a mix between night and like the night sky and the sky during the day. That's weird.

So you'll be walking and then you'll realize that you're not being pulled down, but you're being pulled to the side. So you'll start like twisting as you walk. And then it'll just go back to the way that you were before. Yeah. And it's sort of affecting how the fish is swimming in the air as well. And it doesn't really think too much of it.

And you get to the edge of a forest that looks like a, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, it looks more or less like trees, but like a tree's idea of a tree where it's like a beautiful, like, oh man, like, you know, when you think of yourself and you try and think of yourself like as nice as you can, you're like, yeah, that's what I would love to look like. Only the hottest trees. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like if a tree was trying to describe a tree to a flower and it's just all of that one after the other. Yeah. Identical. Beautiful. Wow. Scary. Yeah, exactly. And the fish stops and it turns around, says, I, I am pretty sure I saw your friend in here, but I'm not comfortable going in, going further. Then why? Oh my God. I guess we have to go without you. I mean, if you had anything else to offer, I might be willing to go a bit further. Jesus. Jesus. Jones, you're milking, milking us.

Milking? Never mind. It'll take too long to explain. You know, before we go further, I think I'd like my bottle now. Okay. And then I hand it to him. The fish puts it in its mouth and goes like, go, go, go, like a duck and just swallows it. Wow. Wonderful. Do you feel okay? Oh, I feel resplendent. Cool. Anything else for me? You're super creepy. I think that's maybe subjective. And I, so I open up my locket. Do you have anything that's good?

I have, I have my crystal, and I have goblin poison, and I have a grass cloak. Which is mostly in tatters, yeah. Yeah. Okay. What about these? I unclasp my locket, and I open it up, and inside there's two coins that I took from the traveling stand. And one is like obsidian with an eye on it, and the other one's a silver triangle. Oh, yeah. So it gets, do you just like hold them out? I'm like, what do you think of these? It gets close. Only one.

Yeah, it gets close, and it gets close to the, the obsidian one, and it pulls back and shakes its head and goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. But it looks, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the shiny one. The silver one? Perhaps. Okay. Do you have something to offer? I've got my cloak. It's really the only item that I have. It is beautiful. But I think I like the coin. Okay. Here, yeah. Here, take it. Pops it in, its mouth. Wonderful.

I don't think we should give it any more stuff. Yeah, it's really making me a It's making me very scared. I'm going to ask the fish how far it thinks it can take us. Oh, it's hard to say. I can take you into the woods until I just feel like we've gone far enough. Do you have another form or another guide form that can help us through the woods? Wonderful point. Wonderful point. It kind of swims around you guys in a circle.

And you notice at this point that it's gotten a little bit bigger than it was before. It was about the size of tantamount. But now it's approaching the size of tuck. Yeah, like it's getting quite beefy. And as it gets close to the woods. It was hard to tell before because there is no sense of perspective in this place. It could be small and right in front of us or it could be 30 feet away and huge. Yeah.

And it swims near you and then it swims closer to the woods and you see it shift a little bit. Swims near you. Swims closer to the woods. Shifts a little bit more until four webbed arms come out of the side of it. Like two on each side. And it sort of grasps the ground. So then it is it's sort of walking on the ground, testing the ground like, ah, okay. All right. This is new. But we'll go a little bit further. I don't like this thing. And it starts walking into the woods like are you coming?

We literally have no other options. Okay. Yeah. But I am wary. Yes. So from my experience here, they are creepy and they do make you feel uncomfortable, but they are always helpful. All right. They don't understand. We don't understand their form and they don't really understand that form. So I just have to. Something I will say that that Shathane might know is that guides do love payment and they love things that aren't from the spirit world. Hmm.

Sort of the like they are creepy, but they're fairly trustworthy unless you wrong them in some way. So if I had known that we were going to go on this journey, I probably would have got a roll of quarters. So it's where we left. So it starts it starts taking you through the woods and it's just these identical trees one after the other and the light changes in here. It's not quite as diffused. It's getting harder to see and it's getting very quiet.

Can I as we're walking through I want to like kind of surreptitiously examine the trees. Yeah. Do you want to discern realities? Are you examining the trees just for the trees or are you trying to make sure there's nothing else around? I just want to know what they are because they feel creepy. Okay. Yeah. Five plus what wisdom six six and the fish is leading you deeper into the woods.

The lights getting dimmer and there's a point where the only source of light is is the fish like the fish is glowing gently. And it's casting light at about like, you know, 30 or 40 feet or so or what it seems what seems like that around you and then it hears a crack and it stops and it looks around this is bad by what what do you hear? What do you something in the trees or the trees and you hear like a rustling tree to tree around you. Who's Russell Russell comes down is like what's up guys.

You want to come play Xbox but so the fish keeps moving. It's trying to hurry you up. It's like come on. Come on. Come come now come now and as it's walking forward a root from one of these identical trees snakes up out of the earth in front of it and it catches its foot on it and it trips and it falls and it hits the ground and then roots start coming up. Out of the earth and start to cover this thing and it's wriggling and rustling and going like oh my oh no oh boy.

Oh no and it's starting to get pulled down into the ground. Okay, I'm gonna hack and slash with my sword. Okay, so roll 2d6 plus your strength. Oh boy. Oh boy. Hang on. Hang on plus one. That's three. All right, so you start hacking at this at these roots and you're sword just glances right off them like it and it almost makes a metal on metal sound when they hit and the fish just keeps going. Oh my oh my I don't know how without a guide. I don't know how to get out of where we are.

We need to we need to get help. Yeah, he's saying that the fish gets full pulled further and further underground and the light starts going out because the only source of light right now is the fish. Oh man. Can I cast a spell? I don't have that. No, you don't have that power of spells actually like even if I hold this crystal nothing will happen.

The crystal is like warm in your hand and sort of you feel that sharpening as before but it's a little too it's not quite as strong as it was at the pool. Okay, I'm just like I'm like, okay maybe that I don't know what to do. So I get nervous and I get nervous so I hold that crystal and then I like close my eyes and I'm like, where are you Perel? Oh, yeah. Damn. This isn't anything that Billy knows how to do. So this would be like a 2d6.

Charisma maybe because you're sort of reaching in yourself. Okay. Seven. Seven. Okay. So you kind of grab your crystal you close your eyes and you're like where are you Perel? Can you help me? What's going on? Are you at my boy? Yeah. And it takes a second and you see the darkness kind of coalesce like it did before this visual hallucination and then Perel is in front of you. He said wonderful is this is this the time do we begin our training? What? No, I just need that fish. Out of there.

And as you say that he starts like sliding backwards and he looks around like where where are we? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And you see him like sliding back and then he disappears and then you see the fish struggle even more and you hear the fish go. No, no, no, no. What have you done? What have you done? Oh, no. And yeah, the fish's voice changed. Oh, I did a bad thing. Yeah. What? Let's go. Billy, what happened? I think I didn't see any of this exposition.

That's the piss monster over there. The fish is the piss monster? It is. And he's not actually that bad. He seemed pretty cool. And we gotta get him out. Beg to differ. I did also but I think we need him. Great. Okay. Well, fuck me. Tuck, what does Tuck do? I pull out my axe and I wield it two-handed and I strike at the base of the roots. Okay. Yeah. Just hack and slash. I try and go fucking crazy. Yeah. Going ham. Whoa. Fifteen. Okay. Yeah. Roll your damage. Eight. Oof.

You think that wall got fucked up? So you geez, dude. Yeah. So you just like hammer into and Shathane you're shocked by this because you just attacked it and your sword glanced right off them and you see like Tuck raises his axe above his head and his muscles bulge in a very barbarianly like way. And then I wink at him. Wink. And then he brings the axe down and just. I wink and I make like my traps do a dance. His little the branches of his tree tattoo wave as he flexes his arm. The irony. Yeah.

And then he brings the axe down and just cuts through like one quarter of the vines that are holding the fish down and you see the fish start like kicking its leg out. It's not getting yanked under quite so fast anymore. We have talked about in the past how Shathane has been to the spirit world before and he has access to some sort of spirit spells. So I have an advanced moves God against the wastes dedicate yourself to a deity. You gain the cast spell cleric. Yeah.

So he has access to first level cleric spells. So now I'm going to try and cast my spell. Okay. Yeah. Induce fear even more fear. Yeah. So it's been a quarter demolished when you cast these spells in the spirit world. Are you calling on spirits? Is that sort of are you affecting the spirit world? Because it's not really a spell in the way that we think of like a cleric casting like a holy spell. It's more like your familiarity with the spirit world lets you affect it.

Normally we don't it's not easy for us to communicate with these other forms that are in the spirit world. And so if I just shouted at a tree and said we're all going to fuck you up. Yeah. My friend fucked you up. We're going to take you down. The tree would not know what we're talking about. Yeah. But in this case it's going to allow me to better instill fear into this different form. Yeah. Totally. Great. Yeah. Okay. So yeah. Roll it 2d6 plus wisdom 8 8. Okay.

So on a 7 to 9 the spell is cast but choose one you draw unwelcome attention to yourself or put yourself in a spot. The GM will tell you how you're casting distances you from your deity take minus one ongoing to cast a spell until the next time you commune or after you cast it the spell is revoked by your deity. You cannot cast the spell again until you commune and have it granted to you. I have something bad happen to me as a result. Okay.

So you instill fear in your own special way like you basically are able to communicate with this tree spirit in a way that frightens it. I point at the tattoo on your arm. I bring my hand up to my throat and I point right at him. Yeah. The trees of him. Yeah. You point at the eyes of my eyes. Yeah. Do the throat cut. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to chop you down. So you do that. You scare the hell out of this tree and you see world weird.

You see the roots start to recede and you see the fish now Perel the fish start to yank itself up out of the ground. The roots totally recede back into the ground and in fact the tree that it was attached to starts almost running through the forest. You see this tree start sliding between other trees and like crashing into other ones and it disappears into the depths of this weird photocopied forest. You can hear it kind of like crying a little bit. My roots. Wow.

That was embarrassing to watch, but I'm now at some risk. Cool. The risk is you the fish pulls itself up itself up out of the ground and looks around and looks at itself and is like, well, this is not great. It looks at you three says, what am I doing here? Yeah. What are you doing here? And then I move and grab it. You grab it and you feel it harden up. It's towering over you.

Now it's taller than you even on its back legs and it just looks at you and says, I do not have time to explain this right now, but I am not who you think I am and not for the reasons you think we will talk about this later. This has been Spout Lore. I'm your game master. Sean O'Hara with me as always playing fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica tie crispy cream playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz. God, I still feel so fucking sick.

Playing Shathane the Elven Ranger guest player Mark Robertson mine. So I don't get scratched by brambles. You can find us online at Spout Lore on Twitter or on Facebook at facebook.com slash Spout Lore. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week.

So when's the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can dumb and scared and lost baby for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I gladly Spout Lore we will talk about this later fine and I cross my arms and I look sullen and I'm like fine but we will talk about it right yes like I said yeah like I said

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Welcome to Spell Lawyer everybody, welcome back I'm your gaming host, Game Master Sean O'Hara, with me as always, playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz Hey, hi, hello How are you doing?

I'm good, I'm doing an intro, is that cool with you? Yeah Playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai Yes, hello Playing Shathane the Elf Ranger, Mark Robertson Hi guys And we're playing our game today Okay Wee!

Okay, so at security headquarters, it takes a couple hours, but Cartwin has finished painting portraits for Tuck and Billy I think Wicker is in Billy's portrait, as per Billy's request Yeah, he is Yeah, so Cartwin spent some time doing very small, very delicate painting with some watercolors that is very precise I posed with my guitar Okay I insisted on it Yeah, so what does that look like? It's just you like, doing a power stance?

Yeah, it was hard to, it was me, so I had my, I was like in the, you know, the Star Wars poster, it looked like that I had the guitar up in the air Right With one, where the lightsaber would be Right, it was really hard to get that into like a two inch by two inch watercolor portrait She did a good job though Yeah, she's good at painting Thanks Cartwin She says, no problem Do you think I can use this for like a dating profile?

I think it would be difficult Yeah Because it's just one small painting It's It's attached to this ID badge, if you wanted to carry it around with you later, I guess you could Yeah Great, so she explains that she's happy to help you, she has an idea of how she can get you in contact with the spirit world She says, I haven't done it in decades, not since, and she kind of looks at Shathane and doesn't say anything explicitly, but she's like, it's fine I don't know if she's happy to help me, but she's like, it's been a long time But I just need to go back to my place, I've got some supplies there from back in the day, and once we get that, then I should be able to help you out Okay, do you need us to take you there?

I don't think it's safe for us to travel in the mall right now Yeah At all, I don't know what's going on with the hot meat boys Yeah, remember you may or may not have instigated a gang war Right Yeah Just a couple hours ago, you killed, I want to say five men?

That reminds me, we have to update something, and I turn around and I flip over a flip chart, and on the back, tiny little portraits of all the gangsters in the mall, done by Cartwin, all connected up with colored yarn Wow And I get out my red paint, and we cross off the ones that died Whoa And cross their names out Wow Heavy Really, seems like you have a murder wall here A bunch of people that you're planning to kill, and seems like we're just helping you work your way through this murder list Nah, I just need to keep track of what's going on in the mall, who's doing what Okay So you've got a list and like a chart of all three of the gangs All three, yeah Crazy Can I examine it a little bit?

Yeah, absolutely Is there any specific information you're looking for? I want to know who is directly above and underneath the people that we just killed Looking at the chart, you see that those five or six people, are the ones that are killed, right?

Yeah So those five or six people were basically reporting to a lieutenant of the head of the Hot Meat Boys, which you have named Veranda Okay A dwarf woman, and we haven't talked about what dwarves are like, so we don't know much about her Except that there are rumors that she's a cannibal or something like that Sure You said that! I know, I don't remember Oh man It's just a rumor!

So they're two levels below Yeah, yeah, yeah So they were basically just like foot soldiers Okay And you get the idea that tracking down Billy for this crystal seems like a thing they were doing pro bono Like this was just their thing that they wanted to do Gave them a bono Yeah, exactly Tell me the name of the lieutenant That they reported to?

Yeah Just give me one Uh, uh, uh Skimpy McGee Alright Jessica jumped in with Skimpy McGee Cool So Skimpy, Skimpy was the uh, is the lieutenant that they report to of the Hot Meat Boys Is there a picture of him on this wall? Sure What does he look like?

He's got a round face, and uh, he's kinda given like a cool peace symbol, like yo what up And um, he's just got a face of a man Wow Really knocking it out of the park It's been a while since we've played It's hard cause he's wearing all his clothes are the same color as the skin so everything's like beige Yeah He looks like he's naked, like a skin color A little bit, yeah You have to look twice and you're like, oh there's a tie Yeah, oh and he's wearing a turtle neck Yeah Cool Good for him Or there's something wrong with his neck Something's wrong with him Yeah, so Skimpy McGee, that's him Uh, what race is he?

He looks human He's beige Again, it's hard to pick out features, he could be anything The beige race Fantasy race of beige, he's from a place called Beige Yeah And the people from Beige Beige Beige Beige Beige Beige Beige Beige Beige Beige Beige Beige Beige Beige The people from Beige are also called Beige Yeah So, yeah, there's information on the Rock Pirates and the Cool Treat Kids, which we don't know too much about Let's give just a quick, quick summary of the Rock Pirate Clan, what's their deal, where do they headquarter themselves Um, well we talked about how we saw that there were, the mall is in disrepair and actually as you guys were traveling up you noticed that like, curbs and things, rocks were missing missing there's like people are stealing rocks and building materials and it seems like these guys basically are hoarding we don't know what they're building with it but this is a major problem it's starting to at first it was just a couple pieces missing here and there then doors and locks and sinks and so they're really just hoarding building materials for something I suspect they're they're at first we thought where they were selling it but just the sheer quantity they're clearly trying to build something but we have no whoa oh my god that's intense what are they building who knows I'm intrigued by this mystery let's abandon the current narrative to follow this it's a an issue in the principality um and uh you know my responsibility is really just to make sure the mall doesn't fucking fall apart and and burn to the ground so you think the rock pirate clan expands outside of the mall oh yeah for sure there's like there's issues with the the spire there's issues with other buildings around stuff's just going missing interesting that's pretty cool wow yeah because the spire is like a magical artifact it just floats there it was built by a wizard yeah yeah so if they're stealing pieces off of that they've got some fucking juice behind them yeah totally so and do you know where they're headquartered in the mall do they have a location no they're kind of they're just like transient sometimes they'll just set up a little shop somewhere and then we'll figure out that that's them running it and then we'll you know go there to shut them down they'll be gone already and like all the shop fittings and the fucking door will be gone and carpet will be rolled up and everything's gone and then yeah nice are they what do they dress like are they like with peg legs and eye patches they look exactly like pirates they lean into the pirate thing yeah cool hard you guys should be figuring this out though oh yeah it's like they're looking like pirates and they're all coming in with like gold teeth and stuff like that yeah I don't know if they're like pirates and they're like that you guys should this is your fault there's lots of pirates yeah also not every pirate it's really not cool to profile can you like not to just assume a pirate is a member of the rock pirate clan that's fucking racist not really all pirates what were you gonna say about frisking like do you frisk all the pirates is that allowed are you suggesting they stop and frisk it's a method that has been used in other billions racial profile if we see a pirate with a backpack uh most stores will make them leave their backpack at the front counter wow man that's fucked up I see your point tuck yeah my views have changed okay hold on I I get down I get down on one knee I look billy in the face and I put my hand I guess on his shoulder but it also like goes it's basically on his whole side yeah and I look him in the eyes I'm like all right this is a teachable moment my mind is open yes so it's important to understand that while social circumstances can lead certain members of a national group to act a certain way not all members of that national group act that way unless they're goblins or dwarves it's fine for goblins and dwarves they're fucking shit they're shit people okay we're learning stuff about either goblins and dwarves or tuck billy's writing this all down and I'm like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry down also there's a pirate nation like a pirate nation oh really whoa that is cool like or is it a bunch of ships strung together in a calm ocean could be the sea of calm nope nope also billy's writing this all down despite the fact that he is illiterate oh yeah calm ocean he's like how would I remember yeah how does that look when billy writes it so it's just a series of pictograms that are hot dogs and cookies yeah and cakes and then he like checks it off and is like yeah good and then he draws a face for the pirate and he's like good but also bad to make it equal and fair yeah exactly I'm proud of you thank you beautiful do we have any information on the cool treat kids uh the cool treat kids started back some years ago a number of years ago and it started when all the parents who would take their kids on like shopping trips they would go to the store and they would go to the store and they would go to the store and they would leave them at the daycares but because the mall is so big they like couldn't always remember which daycare they left the kids at and so they'd be there for like days and weeks at a time and then these kids were like well no one's coming for us we have to band together and so they survived by like dumpster diving and like you know eating ice creams and burgers and other hot dogs that are just like laying around in the food court and they would you know as they're getting their skills improved they were able to eat less garbage and more like what do you call it when you like bully people into giving you stuff stealing oh like yeah yeah like extortion extorting people for food yeah anyway it got pretty serious and so now they're just like a bunch of regga muffins who are in it for themselves yeah are they connected to the old um that old chocolate factory factory at all uh why wouldn't they be for sure they are I mean a bunch of like hungry kids yeah a chocolate factory like they are swarming that zone oh so that's they ruined the chocolate factory yeah they really did they ruined the abandoned chocolate it wasn't abandoned when they started it was a perfectly good running chocolate it was but the kids you know they would just like go diving headfirst into the chocolate rivers and like in the chocolate pots and they were like well this shit is unusable now sorry um it's just a bunch of chocolate kids yeah so and this is the one that was that used to be like wizard run or whatever yeah that's sweet so that so this was like pre-exodus so they've been around for a long time and also when the kids like hit a certain level of puberty they graduate to the hot meat boys oh I see oh they get recruited hot meat boys recruit they do the cool tree kids what level of puberty all right so this is basically a long uh way of saying that it is not safe for you to be walking through the mall yeah we're confident yeah I'm feeling good about the fight billy's amped off of that fight from earlier yeah he's like doing this what is it what did he do he's dabbing yeah as a youth it's on it's unavoidable he saw it when he was in the food court and he was like I'm gonna try that that looks like a cool thing to do okay so she leads you out of uh security headquarters yeah yeah so and then I but when she leaves before I go through the door too I stop shithane and I'm like hey she asked me to come back to her house with her and then I wiggle my eyebrows at her like you get it I'm just gonna shake my head this is it's far more dangerous than you guys have any idea hey man like we don't ever have any idea that's clear that's clear so it is so dangerous in the mall for you now that you've pinged the attention of the hot meat boys and I'm gonna get you guys to undertake a perilous journey role when you travel through hostile territory choose one member of the party to act as trailblazer one to scout ahead and one to be quartermaster each character with a job to do roles plus wisdom so choose who's gonna be who um well you've traditionally been the trailblazer no but you said you wanted to be the scout I guess yeah and as an elf ranger yeah every you don't even have to be the scout you don't have to be the scout you don't have to roll for this the elf ranger move is when you undertake a perilous journey your job succeeds as if you've rolled a 10 plus wow so the trailblazer uh is determines how long it takes to get there the scout determines if you're spotting any trouble fast enough to get the drop on it and the quartermaster reduces the number of rations I'll take that okay and I'll take whatever is left trailblazer yeah trailblazer I am trailblazer so she says that if you're walking through the mall uh billy just gets hungry yeah of course so how many of those two rations do you think billy eats I mean I guess I failed so I probably eat both because I think I probably have more yeah more so billy eats two days worth of food while walking through the mall just as a snack so mark off both of those rations it's been five minutes yeah I'm sorry and tuck you're walking part one is trying to lead you like the fastest way and you are just the worst kind of person to be in a mall with because you're like whoa they got smoothies what what did we call the music shortened mclean is that yeah I think that's what you call short mclean you're about half an hour into uh the walk and you see shortened mclean there's a picture of like a person playing a guitar like a little drawing on the sign and you see like two for one albums repairs rentals all that sort of stuff oh sick lessons they got one of those recording studios to go and record your own singing oh yes please so cartman's like I don't know if we really have time but tuck's already done it so I'm gonna go ahead and do it okay like already walking sick yeah so she looks at chathane we don't have time for this he's gonna do what he's gonna do there's nothing we're gonna be able to do to stop him we just if he's not there I can't and then I yell back hey I have poor impulse control and I'm too big for people to control me she looks up at the windows and sees the sun moving and looks at tuck like okay we'll just we'll make it quick what is billy doing he's like following and eating just enjoying himself mm-hmm okay yeah yeah so in the store there is a very dissatisfied looking youth behind the counter with a piece of metal through one of their nostrils and unnaturally dark hair most likely died in a really tattered shirt and pants just kind of leaning on the counter welcome to shorten mclean we have a two-for-one special if you need any help my name is duggan and I'll be at the counter hey duggan hi uh I have a broken guitar let me see it here he looks at the guitar he's like oh this has got more heads than you would think more than you need uh this one's broken we can fix this okay cool thanks it'll take 20 minutes just please feel free to look around okay I'll do that and he basically opens a chute and throws it down oh and you hear like clang clang clang clang clang clang and then he closes the chute is it okay down there yeah we've got elves down there it shouldn't take long you have elves down there yeah we've got elves down there yeah we've got elves or elves elves oh yeah they're good at this they're great yeah or do you pay them hard to say please feel free to look around this will be done soon feel like it was a yes or no question and he's turned around and he's like writing on a pad whatever the fantasy equivalent of being on the phone would be what are you writing it's my poetry oh cool can I can we read it I don't know can we I'd love to hear him recite some of it yeah yeah and he's like acting like he doesn't want to we're like dug in dug in dug in he flips his hair out of his eyes goes okay but you can't tell anybody because it's not ready this is just a look into my soul it's called a look into my soul by dug in death mall it's fitting okay verse one have a look into my soul when you look into my soul you will see that it is dark and inside the darkness is my soul as that's happening I wander away he doesn't notice yeah yeah he doesn't notice inside my soul is more darkness and inside that darkness is my soul souls upon souls darkness within darkness that is a look into my soul verse two and then we cut to whatever tacoma's doing I'm at the albums and I'm like yeah it's just a big bear it's like a big bucket full of glass bottles and is anyone with me there's like a just a couple people milling about what about that woman that we're with cartwin no she's listening to duggan's poetry okay no one's with me nope okay no I'm really I I feel like this could go somewhere I'm in the drum room oh okay trying out drumming away yeah wait you're just wailing on some drums it's sealed up so you just see my arms flying around but you know some shit's going down so what's tuck doing I'm just like opening the like little samplers on top of the bottles yeah there's like little glass vials yeah tied to it that give you just a little taste yeah just like when you go to the yeah just like when you go to the liquor store and there's like a tiny vodka on top of a big vodka yeah exactly yeah I'm just opening it up and I'm like that's that's not what you're supposed to do with those little bottles wait isn't it like a sampler like you just try it no it's like costco there's free samples attached to all the things you're supposed to buy yeah yeah so you're just cracking them open and there's like little loot solos coming out oh yeah pretty good one is just a scream oh and like drums fuck yeah and then there's a there's a barrel to the side that says uh speed metal and it's like a bunch of metal flasks oh yeah yeah okay crack one of those well so as when you open it uh it just goes like and duggan's like don't please hey you gotta buy that okay he like huffs and then he continues his poem so on the third level of my soul is inscribed memories of my father and his soul so billy while you're listening to the poem getting kind of into it it's really making you feel introspective you feel strange like you felt when you when you were coming to the mall when you were traveling from bulrush village and we've talked about how when billy gets hungry he thinks he's you know he was having visual hallucinations of black spots in the corner of his vision or seems like shadowy forms and that starts happening again weird because I just ate two days of food so exactly billy tries to shake it off it does go away and then appears somewhere else in your vision and instead of it being in the corner of your vision this one's much stabler then you shake your head again and that one goes away and then it's gone but next to you just outside of you you hear can you see me where you look and next to you is perel oh he he kneels down he says you can see me now right yeah spectacular what are you doing here I've just I've got a lot to explain and you look around and you notice that duggan is frozen mid speech okay and tuck as you see tuck frozen cracking a bottle and you see cartwin kind of shaking her head but her hair's flipped out because she's been shaking it and it's frozen in time says I've been trying to get in contact with you since since the pool you remember at the pool yeah and then I try to punch him he uh he your your little fist goes right through him says it's not quite that simple and then I grab my knife so you're welcome to try okay so I take a big swing right through him ever since the pool what was removed from you that wasn't me that was some darker part of me while I was stuck in this box I was pouring into you my frustration my anger my ambition my rage and that's what got stuck in you and as you removed that from yourself it was removed from me do you do you understand I do but I don't buy this garbage how do I get out of here it says please please please I'm just trying to I'm just trying to explain something I'm trying to talk to you person to person well then do it says when I was alive I tried to do real work real good work and I think that I have that opportunity again thanks to you thanks to your friends and I just I want to help you okay but but how how you showed real power in that pool no regular person should be able to do what you do there's something else here do you know anything about your parents um no uh I just know that I've been around for a while and no one wanted me and that poem is really like it's really hitting me in the feelers why are you bringing this up in the pool you showed raw potential that that energy that left you that was unchecked it was focused only on you and I don't know if you can see it but I through the help of that crystal but that power is inside you the ability to manipulate these energies these forces is within you and with my help you could refine it don't you want that you don't want power I don't know it seems like hard stuff and this gives me a headache talking to you okay well just think about what I said because I'll be here where and he kind of looks over at takoma he's like you know nearby okay he says just think about what I said and he reaches his hand out yeah and puts it on your shoulder and you feel real weight for just a second just a second okay he says just think about what I said okay we'll talk soon okay and he disappears everything starts moving again and you hear duggan go and his soul so takoma while you're cracking music uh and hearing and kind of listening to duggan recite his poem you look over to make sure he's not watching you steal more music and you think for just a second you see somebody kneel down next to billy but there's nothing there and then it cuts back to and I've opened nine of these and they're all still they're all playing simultaneously I'm like oh yeah this is crazy this is making me feel crazy then we cut back to to duggan and he says in conclusion darkness souls souls darkness the end by duggan death maul what'd you think um I think we got somewhere but then we missed it well you're a little kid so okay yeah that's true I'm gonna contemplate what you said and billy just leaves I'll roll out of the drum room and I'm like and I hear all of the bottles playing away and I see you there and I'm like what the fuck but uh I'll go over to you because weren't the wasn't music a way that uh like news traveled around oh yeah yeah it was like information yeah did you bother to try and open any that might you're gonna steal all this music you may as well try and get something that's gonna help us man it's not stealing it's called pirating and it's fine everybody does it pirating that's how you lose all the urinals in the bathroom and carwin comes up and says whether or not everybody does it doesn't matter we've got work to do and if we keep if we keep dicking around we're gonna get jumped by the hot meat boys we don't have time for this we need to go now hold on there's just one more that I want to open and this one is important it's a speed metal album called the sea of graves and then in parentheses it says is uh is a guitar solo uh and then in another set of parentheses it says but with lyrics yes you!

And then in underneath it says 94 minutes spectacular and and then it's another set of parentheses it says one song it's a big bottle so you're opening this right now I'm gonna can I just steal it I'll just steal it for now okay roll a 2d6 plus dexterity if you're gonna try and steal this uh that's five plus four is nine so you you're trying to do it casually and you just grab randomly like you put it down so duggan's not looking and you're like oh my god you're looking away so duggan doesn't see that you're trying to steal something so you're just grabbing randomly and you shove a random bottle in your back are you fucking kidding me seven to nine partial success you steal something we all want to know what's going on in the sea of graves yeah but you did but you rolled a seven to nine so you can either risk getting busted and steal the one you want or you can grab randomly and not get caught okay fine I won't get caught okay and cartman says are we done here are we done yeah I just gotta grab my guitar you hear a ding ding ding and duggan opens the the shoot and it just goes and pops right up out of there and he grabs it out of the air says your bass guitar is done thanks yeah two coins please okay and uh yeah and it is fixed and carl says all right that was I hope this was worth it for you if we all get stabbed in an alley remember that this all happened I will yeah and our twin she starts walking away okay to the residential area at that shit then you know that as in the direction of the residential area you're pretty close now you're maybe 30 minutes away and I should have just bought it I have like so many coins it's fun to steal stuff yeah says this head of security then I high five I'm like yeah so as you're walking um shithane tantamile is sort of keeping an eye on the crowds and she's alerting you to hot meat boys in the area that are either looking for you or trying to get a angle on you but thanks to her keeping an eye out and you keeping an eye out, you're able to avoid the worst of it.

We're outside of the mall now. You're inside the mall. She's walking to a residential area in the mall. It used to be just a storage area. It was a warehouse, a really big series of warehouses, but people have built it into separate apartments and there are little living zones hanging from the roof. It's one of the extremely repurposed areas of this very, very old mall. Are there any enchanted things around? Not enchanted, but magic.

As we have established, there is a vague difference between those two things. We've talked about how there were floating platforms and elevators from the chocolate factory that don't work anymore, but they still float. You see that people have dragged some of those probably at great effort into this area and built living areas on top of and also hanging underneath. There are some sections of the residential neighborhood. You basically have two walls.

You're walking in between series of apartment buildings and then there are hanging clusters of apartments here and there attached by rope bridges or rope ladders. Cartwin leads you into a pretty tight and narrow living area, like a really tightly packed apartment building. It's kind of tough for you to walk through, Tuck. You've got to go sideways once in a while.

She gets to a corridor that's very high up on both sides and has balconies, and she stops in a hallway and says, there should be more people out here. Something's up. I put Wicker down and I'm like, go find it. Wicker meows, but doesn't leave. Oh, okay. I'll find it, I guess. Discern realities? Yeah. What is Billy doing? Oh, I guess, yeah, that's smart. I should discern realities first. Yeah, so that's 2D6 plus wisdom, I believe. That's a six again. I want to help him. Yeah, you can do that.

How is Tuck helping Billy with this? I can hold him up higher so he can see more. I guess crouching on the ground probably didn't help. Yeah, you're pretty low to the ground. I was kind of the same level I was standing. So I'm like, do you see anything? No. Well, I see and then there's like a candy and I put it in my mouth. Okay, that was not candy, but I'll lift you up. You gotta stop eating stuff off the ground, Billy. Yeah, it is astounding that you are never sick. Yeah, it's pretty good.

Lifetime of eating stuff off the ground. I'm like, do you want me to hold you up? Sure. Yeah, so that is a partial success. For both of us. So I take him and I put him on my head and I was like, everyone yield to King Tacoma. And I'm like, yeah, and I put up double thumbs up. So Billy's just a crown? Yeah. And as we mentioned, there's nobody out here. So nobody sees you doing this. What a waste. Yeah, exactly. Cartwin and Chathain see you doing this.

Okay, so we look at them and then we're like, pretty cool, right? We just made it up. On the spot. If you want to remain inconspicuous, this is perfect. Cool. Nice job. And then I high five his head. That's the sound of Billy slapping Tacoma's head. So on a seven to nine with discern realities, you get one question. And the list is what happened here recently? What is about to happen? What should I be on the lookout for? What here is useful or valuable to me? Who's really in control here?

What here is not what it appears to be? I would recommend what is about to happen. Yeah, let's do that. You want to do that? So Cartwin mentions, I live down there just like four more doors down. And you see that her door is cracked open. Oh, we should not go in there. Or we should go in guns. Fucking blazing. That's true. And so I. So I unsheathed my axe. Yeah. And I turned to Shathane and I'm like, can we go fucking nuts? I haven't done anything all morning. I am so cranked up right now. Yeah.

Ordinarily listening to all of the speed metal albums got me like I am having a panic attack. Every element of my being tells me not to do this. But we we definitely need to get what's in there. Yeah. Can I run in and do shoot first? Yeah. Well, yeah. Basically, Billy can get in there and make a move before anybody else reacts. Yes. So Billy would basically lead. I guess in this case, Billy would lead the charge. But because the Billy has been the deadliest part of our team for a while.

He's scary. He's really scary now. You thought you had impulse control. So you can try and sneak up if you want. But sneak. He is not as fun. And I imagine Billy had already started running with his dagger. Yeah. Okay. So. So what happens is he does. He trips because it's like a cobblestone ground. And so he kind of like is rolling really fast. Like a bowling ball. He's got his like knife held out to the side. Yeah. And so you're rolling and you what you hit the door.

The door is being propped open because a hot meat boy is like peering out. But he's looking the other way. So basically. Yeah. Billy crashes into this door and it hits somebody. You hear what?

And then they hit the ground and everybody else in the room turns around because there's three hot meat boys in this small apartment and they are tossing the place like they've pulled drawers out of out of dressers and turned them over and there's chests open and there's smashed plates and bowls and stuff like that. But this guy hits the ground in the middle of the room. He looks pretty young, maybe like 16 or 17 years old. Human human guy.

And the three of the other hot meat boys turn around and they're shocked. And Billy's just standing there. Oh, yeah. Well, I get up and I'm like, hey, guys. And then I because of. Yeah. I'm still kind of reeling from both the moral lesson that taught me earlier and the poetry. And so I'm feeling like righteous. And I'm like, you shouldn't touch. You shouldn't touch stuff that isn't yours. And then I run at them. Yeah. Yeah. Also, keep in mind, Billy is a thief. Yeah, exactly.

You can't steal from people. Only I can steal from people. That poetry really spoke to something deep inside. Well, it was a lot of repeating words. It was like. Soul's darkness. It was making me so fucking bored. I just needed to do something. So Billy has made that declaration and is apparently the avenging angel of this situation. Yeah. So now you have an opportunity to act because there's a guy on the ground. That is how he knocked over by a door. Okay. Right in front of you.

So what do you do? I guess I. Oh, man, I'm going to have to kill him or something. I mean, you can attack people and not kill them. That's true. You can choose not to. Police. We're the police. We can arrest them. Yeah. Okay. Billy, do you have cuffs on you? I don't. So I don't know what to do. And I'm feeling, again, feeling moral, feeling moral feelings. I don't know how to describe it. Yeah. So Billy just slaps the kid in the face and he's like, stop it. It's just a kid, right? Okay.

All right. I don't even know what that would be. I guess it's a hack and slash, right? Yeah. It would be a hack and slash if you just slap him. Yeah. I slap him. Okay. So it's a hack and slash. 2d6 plus strength. Oh, seven. Okay. So on a seven to nine, you deal your damage to the enemy. So you're just slapping this kid as hard as you can. Three. Okay. But it's emotional damage because he feels embarrassed. Yes. So you just slap him right in the face. Yeah. And he goes.

But then on a seven to nine, he also deals damage to you. So he's like, hey. And then he slaps you. Damn. Yeah. So Billy gets slapped in the face and you take two damage. All right. Yeah. You hit him harder, though. His eyes teared up a little bit. Yeah. And he felt extra dumb because his friends cry. Almost cry because he got smacked by a child. And just two weeks ago, he was a cool treat kid. Yeah. Yeah. He's new. Yeah. So Tacoma, you charge in behind Billy. No, I don't charge you.

Oh, what do you do? I turned to Cartoon and I'm like, hey, what are these walls made out of? Wood. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And then I turn around. And I smash through the wall next to the door. Okay. Go ahead and roll 2d6 plus strength for a defy danger. Wow. 14. Wowzers. Wow. So the thing is, though. This may be the first double six I've gotten. It is. In the whole three seasons of recording. Yeah, it is. You just. You just crash through this wooden wall. You wreck the wall.

You smash through. And there was a hot meat boy near the wall who is looking at his friend get slapped by a child. And yeah, he gets. You just come through this wall and there's a kid right in front of you. And he's like, whoa. I get in there and I see what just happened. I see a tiny handprint on this 16 year old kid's face. I see a big handprint. On Billy's face. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, I guess this is what we're doing. And then before the kid has a chance to respond, I smack him in the head.

Oh, my God. All right. Hack and slash. Five plus two is seven. Okay. So, yeah. Roll your damage. One. One. Great. So you slap him and he goes. And then he slaps you. Roll a d6. Five. Yeah. He nails you. Wow. What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? You have a fight or flight response. You come through the wall and slap him.

And he gets really scared and leans back and just wails on your face. You know that when the side of your whole face goes numb? Yeah. And also, I start to tear up a little bit. Yeah. And I feel embarrassed. Some of it is emotional damage. Yeah. And Cartman sees you crash through the wall and slap this guy and looks at you then like, what are they doing? And she runs into her apartment and she just spear tackles one of the kids into a room. Into a shelf. And Shathane, what do you do? Who else?

Who's left? There's one person that hasn't been slapped or spear tackled into a bookshelf. So I just walk in the front door, see what's left, see this guy standing there and I'm like, you want to get smacked too? Roll a defy danger charisma. Are you just trying to like talk him down? Yeah, basically. Defy danger charisma. Eight. He puts up his hands? He goes, hey, I don't want to get smacked. But you know how it is. Like we're here. We're here on Veranda's orders.

Like we can't just, we can't just walk away empty handed. No, I'm going to arrest this guy and we're going to interrogate them. It's like, you just, you know what? If we can bring her a little bit of, you know, and he starts doing the money thing, rubbing his fingers together. Were you here looking for money? We're just looking for whatever, man. You guys decide to just kill a bunch of our guys and you think that nothing's going to happen. We know Cartwin. We know where she lives.

Well, obviously we're here right now. What's your name? Fantasy name generator. No, no, no. You come up with the name. Billiam. Wow. And so I go up to him and I slap him. He's tall. So do you slap his leg or do you try and? Yeah, I slap his leg. I don't have time to climb him. Are you, is this a hack and slash? Yes. Okay. So yeah. Jesus. Okay, nine. Nine. Okay. Also, I kick him. Okay. So roll your damage. Five. Five. Damn. Nice. Wow.

So you just kick him really hard or punch him or something in the leg? Yeah, I slap him and then I kick him. Okay. In the same spot. So you like, as a short guy, short kid, you're probably used to having to hit people lower down. Yeah. So you just hit him right in the spot that you know makes tall people buckle? So yeah, his knee buckles and he goes down under his knees so he's face to face with you and then you grab his face. Yeah, gently. But I kind of press his cheeks together.

I'm like, respect our name. So Billy basically took this kid out. Cartwin's like, got this kid. So she spear tackled the one kid into a bookshelf and she's got her arm up against his neck and she's just yelling at him. I just wanted to stay here. I wanted to make a simple living as a portrait artist and you guys had to go and mess it all up. And she kind of like hits him in the side. Like, don't you ever come to my house again. If you do, I will kill you. I will straight up kill you. I'm a vet.

I've been in a war. You think I will kill you, kid? She's a fucking veterinarian, man. She could fucking kill you. She knows what's inside of dogs. She points right at you and she says, shut up. That is enough out of you. This is my house. You wrecked my wall. I will kill you too. Hey, it was 50-50 me and them, I think. Yeah, it was 50-50 them crashing through a wall. She like gets up.

She picks the kid up like by his shirt and throws him at the door and says, get the hell out of here and throws the kid out. Shathane, what are you doing with this one? Is your stuff? Here. Did they take anything? Do you have what you need here? Is it still here? She doesn't look around and she says, yes. I'm not going to say anything more because we've got a bunch of thieves in my house. But yes, it's here.

But once we get these kids out of here, I can grab this stuff and then we can do what we need to do. We don't have, we don't have the time to deal with this other one. So I'll uncuff that other kid and just toss him through the tuck shaped hole in the wall. If you let them leave, they're going to leave and they're going to tell the other people. Is there a closet we can lock them in? Yeah, let's put them in the closet. Okay.

Yeah, Carwin's like, all right, yeah, I've got a, man, I was just starting to like this place too. And she opens up a closet that just has like linens and cloaks and stuff in it. She starts throwing people in, pulls a key out of a pouch she has and locks a padlock looking lock on the door. It says this isn't going to hold them forever, but it should hold them for a little bit. Yeah, we should give them some magazines. What do you have? I've got mud affairs and I've got golf digest. Oh, cool.

I love it. And so she slides those under the door and we go, oh, well, thank you. And then one of them's like, do you know how to read? So she looks around and is not particularly pleased. So she huffs around a little bit. She's like, I really, I'm going to be honest. I regret all of this now. Look, I just got a Cartman, you know what we have to do. I know. I get that it's important. I get, oh, what if magic comes back or whatever it was you were talking about? This seems like a big deal.

And I remember how bad it was, but you know, I just got the furniture the way I like it. And now it's all over the damn place. I, um, I, I hear her complaints and I try and like, I do like shuffling of the furniture around and I'm like, was this how it was? Just leave it. I'm sorry. Just leave it. I'm sorry. And a wicker who didn't come into the house previously. She now is like picking her way through the rubble and just meowing over and over like meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

And she goes over to, um, there's like, you see that she's really digging something just out. She like heads back out the door. She comes in, meows a bunch and then heads back out. All right. I'll follow her. She hops up in a planter that Cartman had set up outside her place. Cause it gets a little bit of light from the glass ceiling. And, uh, she's really dig, she's meowing a lot.

And she's sniffing an orange flower, which you recognize as the flowers that wicker has been following since you left mudlark. Thanks for listening, everybody. That's our game for this week. With me as always playing Tacoma dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. I have a leather wrist strap on. Playing fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica tie. What happened? Is it just cause of the stuff I said? Playing Chathain, the elf ranger, Mark Robertson. Did you see high rise? Did you see that? Uh, movie.

You can find us online on Twitter at Spout Lore or on Facebook at facebook.com slash Spout Lore. Thanks for listening. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I gladly Spout Lore. Oh,

Previously on Spout Lore. We need to head down to the amusement park. The caricaturist, although I don't totally approve of it, runs a fortune-telling business, so… Does Shithane 100% know for sure that she has power? He knows that she has power. What's the name of the amusement park, guys? Yesterland? In a medieval-style fantasy world, it is past-themed? To remind people of back when magic worked. Oh my god, so it's a magic-themed amusement park. Yeah, exactly.

Coming up after the break, we've got Spout Lore. Spout Lore. We're heading down to the Yesterland Amusement Park. It takes a while to get there. It's on the other side of the mall. At the front, there's a sign that says, Yesterland, the yesterday of today. And then there are a variety of totally mechanical rides. So there is a roller coaster. There's like a carousel and a thing that shoots up really fast and comes back down. It's an amazing sight. It's as shabby as a lot of the mall has looked.

This place looks awesome. But also super kitschy. Like, you know, there are people walking around dressed like wizards. You see somebody dressed like the mascot outside. So it's like a big stuffed head with a beard and glasses and like a long checkered robe. And they're kind of going like, Oh! Like walking around hugging people. I go up to him and I give him a hug. He hugs you enthusiastically. And I'm like, hey, buddy. What's your name? And he goes, oh!

Okay, that was less satisfying than I would have hoped. I can't talk to you, sorry. Oh, okay. That's policy. Okay. I'm like, okay, you're doing a good job. And then I walk away. And he goes, oh! Then he goes and talks to some other kids. So this is a soaring, beautiful conservatory ceiling. And, Tuck, it reminds you of some amazing architecture that you saw back in McCall. So tell me about a beautiful building in McCall that Tuck has always remembered.

In the middle of the city of McCall, there's like coming out of the ground at a very steep angle, there was like an upside-down pyramid shape that went up like 250 feet. Whoa. And there was like a flat base at the top that was like probably only like 20 feet across. So it was a very narrow and tall upside-down pyramid. Awesome. What was it? What was it called? Nobody knows. It's been there since before the city existed. The city kind of grew around it.

And the reason people kind of gathered around it is because there was like a spring. It exists at the base of this thing. Oh. So water runs out from around like the top of the upside-down pyramid. Yeah. And that is the water that kind of like the whole city of McCall uses. It's been tapped and like, moved to like the outer parts of the city using like a series of like aqueducts and billows that elves pull in and out. It's never run dry. That's awesome.

People have said it's probably made of the same material that the pillars in the Sea of Graves are made out of. It looks the same. Yeah. It has like faded and very dirty what looks like might have been runes at one point. And then if you can read the runes, you can actually read it. It says grad 45. Because it's just a water tower. Yeah. There's water actually leaking out of a water tower. Like it's coming out of the bottom. Yeah. So you are in the… Wait. Was I saying this to them?

I imagine you remembering it. But if you want to tell… Did you tell people about… I guess I'm telling… You were like, this reminds me of home. Yeah. Awesome. Shathane's like, yeah, that's a lot of glass. Yeah. Hey, look, we're here. We're here. We're here. It says, so you see your friend, Cartwin. Cartwin is sitting on a stool and she's sort of painting a very affectionate middle-aged couple. They've got their arms wrapped around each other. And she's like, hold still, please.

And they keep like kissing each other on the cheek. She's like, hold, just hold still. Almost done. And they're like, okay, I love you. She's like, okay, all right. You're almost done. And is she, she's an elf? No, human. Human. Okay. Or she might, maybe half elf. It's kind of, she has a little bit of that. Right. She's got a little bit of that juice in there. A little touch of elf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe. Do you have a little elf in you? No. Would you like some? Et cetera.

That's how our parents met. Standard pickup for me. Yeah. I'm looking at a booth that has a bunch of those shirts on it. It's selling a bunch of those types of shirts. Do you have a little elf in you? No. Do you want some? Yeah. And then there's another one that's got like a glass of ale and inside it says loading. They sell ones that are for elves and they also sell ones that are for elves that actual elves coming through are like, ugh. And they just walk past the booth. So is she finished?

Yeah, she's wrapping up and it's a very like, she kind of does the like big head little body. Oh yeah. Yeah. So she's got, it's like their two giant heads smushed together like cheek to cheek and then their tiny little bodies like at a little table with spaghetti on it and like candles. Nice. She goes, okay, here you go. Look, we're done. And they're like, oh, oh, honey, isn't that precious? That's so nice. And then Chetain's like, you guys are done. Thanks. Yeah. They're like, oh, okay.

And they hand over a couple of coins and they bounce. And they just give them a little like lower back push up. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Your bedside manner could use some work. If, are you open to constructive criticism because I'm willing to give it? What do you think? I think that sometimes. No, I meant, do you think I'm open to constructive criticism? Oh. They, uh, Cartwin goes like, okay, all right, can we just hold on?

And she opens up because she was doing this in like a more open air area next to her fortune telling booth. She's like, please just come in Chetain, just rein it in. Okay. And she directs the three of you and Tantamile. Oh, I'm not there right now. Oh, you're not. Where are you? I went to look for a snack. Oh, okay. And is Wicker with you? No. Where's Wicker? I think, Tantamile, Tantamile might be with you because she, she really, really, really. Oh, really? Okay.

Well, I, are you riding Tantamile? No, I'm walking for sure. But Tantamile's right behind you. Oh, is she? Okay. I didn't, I'm, I clearly have tunnel vision. Yeah. So what, what kind of snacks are you looking for? Well, there's a, a dude and his kids, um, who are like having a snack break and I'm trying to get a snack from them without them seeing me. Oh, okay. What kind of snacks do they, uh, have? I have potato spirals. It's always potatoes that attract Billy. My favorite.

It's like, it's like hobbits with mushrooms. Like potatoes are right on there. So yeah, they've got rotators. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, those like spiral cut potatoes on sticks. Yep. And they're sort of biting them and picking them off. Just a second. What's up? I just imagined that scene from Lord of the Rings where Sam is like, I've forgotten the taste of strawberries, but I, I imagine just Billy being like, I've forgotten the taste of rollitos.

If I don't have a rotator tomorrow, it'll be the farthest from eating a rotator I've ever been. So I say that, um, to myself. In that weird, like, yeah, Samwise Gamgee. Yeah. Um, and they're not paying attention. They're just talking to each other. And they, and I saw that they got the family pack, which is just a bouquet of rotators. So, um, they're not, they're not eating them all. Like some of those rotators are, have not been claimed. So I'm just going to grab one. Okay.

2d6 plus dexterity for tricks of the trade as you're trying to sneak up. 12. God in heaven. Yeah. You walk up and you snag a stick with a rotator on it. And I feel cool with my cloak. And so I switched my cloak because I think he'll like camouflage me. Yeah. And then I head back towards those guys. Tantamile. As you turn around, you're like, all right, got it. Yeah. Tantamile is like, what? She looks disapproving. Well, as much as a cat can look disapproving, she doesn't look happy.

Well, do you want to bite? She's like, fine. Just see yourself then. And then I am going to eat it. And then she goes, as you, as you start to eat it, she's like, okay. So I hold it up for her to nibble on. She does that cat thing where she sniffs it really fast, very gently. And then, yeah, she bites a little bit off the end. Nice. Yeah. And then she purrs and it's all good. And the family is none the wiser. You're walking far enough away that they don't even see.

They carry on with their rotato party. Wonderful. Great. Billy heads back. I was really hoping that you were going to fail that. I was worried I would. Cause I kind of forgot I had to roll. You just wanted a little potato vignette. Well, yeah. Cause like Billy's never been to a fair or anything. Um, anything this, uh, opulent before. Like he's from a farm. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is like definitely the biggest building you've ever been. Yeah.

Like just, uh, so far sequentially, I've just been in bigger and bigger buildings. Really? I'm just like, wow. Buildings get big. What comes next? Yeah. You realize, uh, as you followed the, the current of potato air, twinkle toes style, uh, that you got, it's a bit of a walk now. Oh, you got a bit further away than you expected to. Yeah. It's a long walk. Anywhere is a long walk. It's a long walk for me, but you got your rotator. Yeah.

And you're kind of sharing it with tantamount as you both walk back. And yeah. So back to the tent. So I'll ask, I'll tell Cartwin first, I need two portraits for these two. Yeah. Who's no problem. And then I looked down and I realized that fat Billy's gone. Where is this kid? I, sometimes he roams. There's a lot of smells. Uh, and he just like, we'll like go somewhere to eat something. And then sometimes he comes back and then sometimes he gets caught and we get kicked out of a bar.

It's a, it's a toss. All right. Well, I guess we'll get the one portrait done. Okay. And, when your friend decides to wander back, Hey guys, see, he didn't get caught this time. Billy pops his head in through the like curtain that she closed in the little booth. And I go, Billy, did you get anything good? I did. And I hold up the bear stick that the rotator was on. Nice. And then I'm like, I still have some salt on my face. If you want it, I'm fine. And yeah.

And carton goes, she kind of looks between the two of you and looks to Shathane. Like, is this, I'm like, this is not, there's no precedent for this. He just suggested it for the first time now. Okay. Why do I keep having to explain my relationship with this boy? Okay. So what can I do for you? So you said it sounds like there's something else. We need two portraits. Not a problem. Can do it. Can you do those? These two lost a friend. I'm sorry to hear that.

I think that you might be able to help them figure out if they can find him. Uh, what makes you, what do you, so what, what's the situation? Why could I, I mean, people lose people all the time. What do you think I can do? Um, well, um, I wiped the salt off my face to look more professional and I'm okay. So we have, we had an half elf friend named Vang and, um, we were fighting a wizard monster and her eyes widen a little bit, but more like a, okay. Yeah.

And I widen my eyes and I jump in for a second. I'm like, I'm still not totally convinced it wasn't a genie of some sort. And then I jump in and I'm like, I'm still not totally convinced this guy's not a complete idiot. And I give a, a thumbs up. I'm going to get a little bit more info before I make my decision. And so our friend Vang was the shape shifter and he was in the shape of a crocodile when we were fighting. And then, well, I ran away. Um, so Tuck, you tell the rest.

Cause I don't, I wasn't there. Um, yeah. So he was in the shape of a crocodile and the monster, the water, the wizard water monster killed the crocodile. But our friend, was a, uh, he's, he's a shape shifter. And his tell is that he has kills, but the crocodile didn't have kills. So we consulted with an elf, uh, named Colonel Dan. They're glot. Have you, do you know him? I've heard the name, they're glot, but Colonel Dan is not, that's not an elf. That's nobody. I know. They're glot.

And then I, I look at Carmen and I'm like, I think this is Nathaniel. Oh, yeah. So Dan told us that, uh, the, cause the crocodile didn't have the, the, the tell that the gills Dan said that it's possible that he was stuck somewhere, uh, in the spirit realm and to look for, uh, Shathane. Right. He might be able to help us get him back. Right. One more thing. This box is of some importance. I am not sure how much, but that wizard monster is trying to get it. Uh, okay.

And then I put it back on my back. She could, can I see that again? Okay. And I take it back off my back and I was like, be careful. I broke it a little bit. She's looking at it. She's turning it over in her hands, looking at the markings and she notices, she points at like some of the sigils on here. She says, these are Elvin, but like these are old, old, old Elvin. She takes a bit more of a look at it and she says, this is, I've never seen anything like this. But this is an old form of common.

And she points at one level of the sigils and she points at the stuff that's over it. And she said, this is an older version of Elvin that's was mainly only used for spell work magic. Yeah. Our friend Ving said that this, uh, this symbol means containment and this symbol means binding. Yeah. This is a, a prison. There's what? If she, if, if I'm reading this right, this is a prison. Okay. Is there a problem that I did this and then I turn it over and there's like a giant crack in the shop.

I smashed it with an ax. Well, what happened after you smashed it with an ax? My friend died. Hmm. Would you say that's a problem? Yes. For me, she shoves it back in your hands. She says, you get this, you got to get this thing out of here. Okay. Okay. I don't want to get pulled into anything. She thing. You need to understand this is, this is my work. This is where I work. This is where I live. I don't want this kind of heat coming down on me. You understand? I understand. I do.

I do want to help these ding dongs. I don't know. I just don't know if it's worth it for me. That's my only concern. I don't want to know more than I'm supposed to and have gods know what coming down then looking for more information. You know what I mean? Is that Billy groaning? Yeah. Can I like parlay with her or something? Uh, yeah, you can definitely try. What, but what is, so what's Billy doing? What's he offering? Oh, he has to offer something. That's how parlay works. You need leverage.

I was, I was getting ready to, but my charisma is so crappy. I was, well, I mean, if you're still gonna, if you're still gonna try, just cause your charisma sucks doesn't mean you wouldn't try. Right. That's what I was hoping somebody else would step. No, you do it. Oh, cause you have, you like, you know her and you're right. And I was also trying to think of what the, what the leverage would be. I think she sounds like an old friend.

And so, yeah, that's what I'm, that's what I'm getting the vibe of. You know her from the old days. Right. So she's probably, she's actually probably quite old, like in her sixties. Yeah. Or maybe, yeah, I was thinking maybe. Although you said she's part elf. So she looks a lot younger than she is. Right. Not a lot, but you know. Can we talk about those numbers or what? What? How old things are and people are?

Well, I mean, you would probably know that when you knew her back in the day, she was in her, I don't know, maybe what, like thirties or forties, but she looked like she was just out of her teens. Yeah. And now she's in her sixties or she, it looks like she's in her sixties, but she's probably closer to a hundred. Yeah. I think we're like a hundred ish years after they met maybe. And so she thinks probably like 400 ish or something like that. Maybe a little. Yeah.

We talked about how she thinks quite old. Right. Yeah. But like, and he's full blooded elf. So he's like, he'll live for a long time. He just looks like a million bucks at 400. So this isn't a common thing of people, new people coming on the podcast and then just talking about how good their characters look. Yeah. Their ideal selves. Like this guy's got white hair though. Anyway, but he pulls it off, right? Yeah. He pulls it off. You called him a silver Fox when you were originally described.

Actually. No. What you said was what you said. What kind of Mark Jacobs suit model, DILF material. Right. He said Indochino Indochino. That's what it was. And then we found the model he was talking about. The actual ad I remembered. Okay. So yeah. What are you, so what are you, you're trying to convince just so I, Cartwin to help you out.

So I think I would want to use, the fact that the wizard and elf combination that we're talking about is like beyond what should exist from the little light, fine wisps of magic that float around in the world. Still. This means that there's some more going on, right? Like this is a crack. This is something terrible is, is happening.

This is evidence of some thing that we didn't expect that we thought magic was gone and all the terrible things that made magic affect the world in the terrible way that it did was all gone. Mm-hmm. And that this is like the bad stuff that was happening before. So. Okay. That's, I'd say that's a reasonable leverage. You're just trying to appeal to her better nature to her, to the old Cartwin as opposed to this new one. And I want to kind of aid him by trying to seduce her into help.

That would not aid at all. But I, I want to just like behind him, just like, just like do a fake stretch where I'm just like, that's going to be an interfere for sure. Can I do it? Does it change my decision to do it? It's not effectively helping at all. So you wouldn't, you wouldn't roll for it. I'm going to roll for it. How do you think that would help this at all? Cause, uh, she's beautiful and I am stupid.

I'm just, can I, can I also aid and maybe like, like cry and see if she has any like motherly qualities that I can like, I don't know. Yeah. Influence. Okay. So you're going to be telling her about this and Billy's going to start crying. And, and Tuck is going to start flexing. Yeah. We're in the background. So roll your parlay two to six plus your charisma. Actually, what is, no, you're already, you're on this train, man. What is, what did you know? It doesn't matter. You bought a ticket.

Here we go. Two. You motherfuckers both failed so badly. So mark a point of experience, mark a point of experience. And I guess I'm not used to the tightness of my clothes. So while I'm doing that, my pants rip. Yeah. Great. And then I go, Oh fuck. I clean up. Too much. Too much. So you, okay. So this is a, wow. Yeah. Um, pretty major fail. Oh yeah. It's not great. So you give Cartwin this whole deal. You're saying like, this is bad. This could be really bad and it could be bad for everybody.

All right. And, she thinks about it for a little bit. Yeah. And Tuck is flexing, stretching, whatever, doing what he's doing. She's not even paying attention to Tuck. It's not the old days. It's not the old days anymore. Shit thing. I'm, I'm, I'm getting up there in years. I can't afford to get mixed up in this kind of thing. If what you're saying is true and the bad times are coming back, if things go my way, I'll be dead before then. You know what I mean?

So I'm sorry, but I can't, I can't help you. I totally understand. What a bitch. And I say that. Says you don't, this is an old friend. This is a really old friend of mine. I don't think it's your, you're, you're a kid. You don't understand. I understand. And then I just turn around and I fart. Oh my God. Wow. Wow. These are the kinds of people you're trucking with now. Shit thing. I, Tacoma is laughing. And I'm like, I can't believe.

That when you got stuck in the corridor, I thought the little one was a smart one. Hey, we're me and him are basically equal. Yes. Yeah. So she's just like, wow, this is awesome. This is great. Anyways, let's just get these portraits done. And she goes through the curtain, closes it. Like it just closes behind her and she's getting ready to do some portraits. Okay. How about, how about this? Cause I assume we're getting separate portraits.

Why don't we try to talk to her during our portrait time? Okay. Try to convince her. Okay. Okay. So you guys head out to portrait zone. Yeah. Okay. So you guys all leave her little, little fortune telling tent and you see cartoon stock. Still eyes wide arm around her waist knife to her throat. It's the hot meat boys. Yeah. They're back. Which ones is it? Some of the ones you recognize from before. Yeah. You see the one with the knife to her throat is the one from the weapons check.

And you see the one that was with him when they were following you. And then a very random assortment. There's five altogether. And, uh, they are, they're looking and they're like, Hey, guess we found you. Who, which one of us are you talking to right now? All of you as a group. Okay. I'm going to throw a dagger. One of my throwing daggers into that guy's face. Whoa. Just yeah. Cause I'm in a really bad mood. Yeah. I had a good time.

And then that, whatever her name is, she, she put me in a really bad mood and he's just mad now. Billy has a move called shoot first. Okay. Which means that this is not a situation in which you would be surprised. Like you would basically see what's going on before they noticed you were there. Okay. Like you basically come out and they're, they're watching like up, like where a human face would be. And, uh, there's a child there instead.

So they don't really see you coming out, but you catch them right at the right time where you, yeah, you have the opportunity to just whip a knife. She is between you and that guy. So you will have to roll like a defy danger basically to not hit her. Okay. So that's two D six plus dexterity. Whoa. Nice. 10. Yep. No problem. You got to, you got to beat on them. So now roll a volley. Okay. So 11. Okay. Yeah. Roll your damage for, Oh my God. Okay. So the hot meat boys aren't the toughest of boys.

Okay. So where on the internet did you find the stats for the hot meat boys? None of your fucking business. I went to hot meat boys.com. Do not. Don't go to hot meat boys.com. Don't go to hot money. They have not paid. If you are, if you are listening and you are under 18, do not go to hot meat boys.com. I don't want that heat. You sent them a sponsorship request letter, but they have not gotten back yet. Yeah, exactly. I don't want them getting any traffic. They don't deserve hot meat.

Boys.com is available. Oh my God. Buy it. How much is it a year? Uh, 13 bucks. Yeah, buy it. I'll give you 13 bucks. What are the, what are the other, so far we've just got Spout Lore.com. Oh, what are the other gangs? There's the cool treat kids, the cool treat kids, uh, and the rock pirate clan. I don't think I have to check. I just think we might have to get.org. I just think it's funny. Um, if we had hot boys, hot meat boys.com that redirected to Spout Lore.com.

Oh, also dot zone is available. There's a lot of dot things that we can get. Well, you need that for, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's move on. So, um, so, okay. So basically Billy has the opportunity to straight up kill this guy. Yes. So Billy, the child is going to throw a knife into the face of a human man and just kill him. Killing him. Jesus Christ. Really mad. Mad enough to kill over potatoes. Yeah. And she straight up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Looks like a wham, and he just gets a knife right in the face, drops his knife, falls back, knife in the face area. Through the eye, through the back of his head. Boom. Well, okay, it's not a bullet. It was thrown by a little boy. Okay, fine. Through his eye. Billy can throw with the strength of a magnum revolver. Just punch it right out the back of his head. And then he lifts his arm up and he's like, I call this one Desert Storm. No way. What's that done? Desert Eagle?

Yeah, I call this one the Desert Eagle. This one Desert Storm and this one Desert Eagle. Yeah, this one's a gun, this one's a poorly planned military maneuver. So Billy is killing this guy unequivocally, because you can just take him out, but you want him dead? No, I want him dead. And I throw off my leather cap and smash it on the ground. And then I'm going to go run and retrieve my knife out of his head. Can I do that? Yeah, I'd say so. I think that they are all shocked enough.

When the guy's trying to do his strong arm monologue, like, hey, nice to see you dead. They're all just like, what? And you're just running. Because it's not that far away. It's like five feet away. How many? Sorry, go ahead. I just want to know how many people. There's four of them. I think I said five. One is now straight dead. Okay. Are you going to attack another one? Yeah, because I take this pause. Yeah, Billy runs up and grabs his knife.

I want to use that pause to like, like Billy just started a conflict. And I'm like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm already on board, man. I think I am too, mainly because they, well, one's dead already. Yeah. I guess in the first action. And then that's my friend. Yeah. Yeah, totally. She's thankfully free. She's going to start moving. Because she got surprised, basically. She's not a pushover, but she got jumped. So what's Tuck doing? I have my axe.

And I like, as soon as I see that guy start to fall and Billy run forward, I jump forward with the axe. And I'm going to bring it down on the guy next to him to protect Billy. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Give me a hack and slash. Three plus two is five. Boy, oh boy, oh boy. Oh, no. Boy, oh boy. I failed a lot this episode. Wow. He didn't roll enough shitty rolls out of you dice before. Clearly. This is what I'm talking about. So you jump forward and you're like, oh, just straight up.

Tuck makes a lot of noise when he fights, right? Like he's very grunty and shouty. Yeah. So you jump forward, you bring your axe down. And the one that was next to Billy that you were trying to chop, he was surprised, but he's, you can see the stance of an accomplished and experienced fighter in his posture or something. You looked good. Describe it more sexily. His footing changes, his calves tense. The fabric around his thighs. His punches. But also he goes before he moves.

You hear just the quietest. Anyways, he steps to the side and I'm feeling feelings. Yeah. And he just stabs you. Oh, yeah. Shit. You bring the axe down. He steps to the side and his hand comes up with a dagger in it that he didn't have in his hand previously. And he just stabs you in the shoulder. Oh, so roll a d6. Yeah. You. You got it. There's no opportunity not to take it. One. Okay. Well, he stabs. I have a plus one already. Yeah, you do. Just from being a tough boy. Yeah.

He dodges out of the way all cool. Stabs you really cool. And it's like, I got him. And you just look at him with his knife in your shoulder. Yeah. I take the knife out and stab him in the throat. Well, hold on. You failed. You don't get to act right away. I choose to act right away. No, you don't do anything. H plus two. Does not happen. No. So we're still in the same turn. Yeah. That's the first time I've done combat. Oh, yeah. So there aren't really turns. Okay. It's there's no initiative.

I just kind of direct the action and I go, okay, this is happening. What do you do? This is happening. What do you do? So yeah, you see tuck. You see Billy kill a person run up start scrounging on his body to get his knife out of his eye, which is an upsetting image. Now that I think about it and tuck jumped in instantly. It looks like these two back each other up without question, right? But now it's like a scrap like a fights happening. You see tuck get stabbed.

He's stabbed in the arm and nothing else has happened yet. And I'm like, good move, buddy. And then also, how does it work with a battle with tantamount? So yeah, when you attack somebody, you and tantamount attack the same character, same person, then you add it says when you attack the same target, add its ferocity to your damage. All right. I'm going to throw a throwing dagger at one of these dudes at the same person. And you want tantamount to attack the same. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, not the one that, that just stabbed, stabbed, tucked one of the other. So, um, most threatening. Yeah. Cartwin starts like, like basically grappling with one of them and the others are trying to get an idea of what's going on. And one is starting to come at you, has a knife in his hand and is ready to, ready to throw down. I'll, uh, I'll attack the, the one that's grappling with Cartwin. I think. So yeah, it'll be two D six plus dexterity using the volley move, which is a basic move. Okay.

So you just roll your damage die, which is a D eight. What's a, what's your damage mark? A one, a one. Interesting. Very interesting. Uh, what is tantamount ferocity? Uh, two. Okay. So that is three damage. Yeah. How do you signal tantamount to attack the person you're attacking? Um, well I can communicate with animals. Yeah. So I would basically, uh, through the same sort of, um, nonverbal communication that an animal would use to indicate that they're going to attack somebody. Yeah. Totally.

She saw that and she just knew. Cool. So you, um, throwing a dagger at him. Yeah. Getting a dagger. I'll getting it ready and then throwing it. She assumes that's throwing a knife at a person is a good indication that you're fighting. Sometimes cats just like to follow things that you throw though. So that might be, that's true. Yeah. You just pull a knife out of your jerkin or whatever off your belt. It's a, it's green and bumpy. Right. It's a gherkin. I forgot.

So you throw a knife, you pull a knife out of your gherkin and you whip it at this dude and it hits him in a little, like he's also got a gherkin of his own, but it's not green or bumpy. So it's just a regular jerkin and it's, it kind of sticks. It doesn't go deep enough to actually cut him and he laughs and then tantamount just hits him like a freight train. Wham. Yeah.

Wham on the ground getting raked and bit and she's making that crazy noise that cougars make, you know, that weird like screech. I'm not sure what exactly. I'm not doing it. Wow. Wow. Wow. Yeah. It sounds like that. It sounds like a, it sounds like a, a pedal, like a guitar pedal. It sounds like the red hot chili pepper. Yeah. Sounds like wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Give it away now. Yeah. And, uh, and so the guy's not dead, but he wishes he was. Oh yeah. Yeah.

He wishes that he were dead. Big pieces of her hanging on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, I don't want to have to listen to one more second of the red hot chili peppers. I would rather be dead. Yeah. Red hot chili peppers are fine. They're okay. I like them. They got a unique sound. No one really sounds like the chili peppers, right? Thank Christ. All right. And so, yeah, Billy. So I've yanked the knife out of the dude's eye and I've done like a really cool twirl with it.

And so blood like sprays everywhere. And then I'm just going to volley it again. You're going to throw it. Yeah. At the dude who, uh, I'm not going to throw it at the guy fighting tuck because it's too dangerous. I'm trying to try to hit the guy. I'm trying to hit the guy who's going to go after Shathane. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so yeah, there's a guy running at Shathane and Billy throws, he's got a pretty clear shot. So yeah. 2d6 plus dexterity for volley. It's a 12 with my dexterity. Good God.

Um, so I would like to just point out that the biggest, strongest guy never effectively attacks. And I think in the whole history of the game, I have never positively contributed to a fight. Uh, you killed a frog monster. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the only time. That's the last time that you've done well in a fight. Meanwhile, uh, Billy is a killing machine. I'm so mad.

You guys also thing more often than not just turns into, uh, an animal made of knives and just ruins whatever else is there, but you don't have that anymore. Uh, so yeah, Billy's in a bad mood. This is bad day, Billy. Um, so yeah, roll your damage. Whoa. Eight. Oh yeah. So this one goes through the back of his head. Yeah. It's in a wall with a brain attack. He's like sideways. He's so you see him from the side. So how does Billy kill this guy? It hits him in the neck and goes through the neck.

Like kind of like, like the blade kind of goes sideways and just like halves his neck and his head tips back. Yeah. Good God. Yeah. And I'm just like, Holy cow. I kind of feel bad about that one. But then I just stand like, come at me. Yeah. So Shathane, you see this, you, you throw a knife at the guy fighting Cartwin. The other dude is starting to run towards you. And this little brat that I thought was a giant pain in the ass has not only saved my life potentially, but sprayed the entire.

Oh yeah. There's blood. Of yesterday. In a huge rainbow of jugular blood. At least this little three walled area that, uh, Cartwin does her portraits in is like getting coated. Yeah. But yeah, so you, the guy's running at you. You see just like his head and then he's just bleeding. He hits the ground and you look over and Billy's got his arms up. Like what? Okay. So Billy just killed two people. Tuck got stabbed in the arm. Tantamount. So yeah, there are two. Yeah. You'll talk. There's two guy.

I'm one guy who hasn't been engaged. Yeah. And, but they're both like trying to get a good angle on tuck cause he's enormous. Yeah. So yeah, you've got the guy that stabbed you and you went good move pal. Yeah. I meant it. I was like, that was a good move. I didn't see it coming. At all. Yeah. But as I'm saying that I swing my ax vertically up while I'm talking to catch him in the bottom of the chip. I'm like, wow, that was impressive. And I just swing. Okay. Give me a hack and slash.

Cause he's different. He's got nothing. 12. Okay. Give me your damage. That's a one. Okay. Okay. And you get a plus one from your ax if you're fighting two handed. Okay. So I grip it with two hands and I swing upwards and I'm like, that was a good move. And while I'm saying that, I swing. I swing the ax upwards, slice through his nose. Uh, and then I don't know. What does he do? Uh, he goes, ow. Yeah. My nose is now two noses. He goes, ow.

Uh, so you cut like as you're swinging up his leather vest, absorb some of it. Like it just kind of stops, slows the movement a little bit. Yeah. And you do slice through the tip of his nose enough that he reels back and is holding his nose. Is his knife still in your arm? Did you pull that out? It's still in there. Okay. And he's knife-less and nose-less. Well, no, he's actually got more noses now than he used to. Uh, and he stumbles back and the other takes a jab at you. What do you do? What?

With what? A knife. They've all got knives. With a knife? Okay. The hot meat boys fight with knives. Uh, I, so I move into it, but, uh, I push my kind of like arm and bicep and shoulder into where he's, uh, he's stabbing to like get him to like bury it into my body. Okay. So that's a defy danger constitution. This is so you can attack him after that. Yeah. But you're still going to be taking damage and potentially taking damage twice. Uh, yeah. All right. Defy danger constitution.

Uh, seven, eight, nine. If he stabs you like you're moving into this to a range where your ax would not be effective. I can't use an ax. No, it's like, it's basically like trying to hit somebody with a baseball bat when you're lying on top of them. Okay. Yeah. That's the strategy that came to my mind. You know what I mean? You know, remember when I did that? Uh, yeah. So that's basically the situation. You won't be able to use your ax. Okay. That's fine. Okay. Uh, roll a D six for being stabbed.

Okay. Three, three. So you take two damage. Okay. So he stabbed me with his knife. I take the knife that's in my shoulder and stab him in the throat. Okay. Uh, give me a hack and slash. 12. That is a success. And as I'm doing it, I'm like, sorry about your friend. Okay. So, but I'm saying that to the guy whose nose like split and half. Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. Roll your damage again. Third three. Yeah. He, uh, catches it right in the zone. Yeah.

Right in where his head connects to his body and he, uh, is straight dead for sure. He dies fairly quickly. Okay. He's got a knife in his throat and yeah, you've got a dead man on a knife and his friend is still kind of reeling, but he's getting ready to get back up. Well, he's knife-less. He's got two noses and he just saw five, four people get slaughtered within and one is still alive, but under tantamount, like still kind of grappling. So the last one starts running, like just books it.

Should we try and get him? He's running. Yeah. You're, you're all fighting and you see this guy run away. I want to use my bow, I think. Uh, yeah. Yeah. It's the first arrow we've had. That's why. It's the first time somebody's, yeah. In over a year of play. The first time someone, a character has used a bow. And he's running away. So I think we'll be into the, yeah, this is range. He's like, he's getting, it's one of those things where he's running away and you start to gauge the distance.

And I'm like, I'm a ranger. I'm going to shoot this piece of shit. Yeah. He's like pushing through people and he knocks over a cart of stuff. I'm getting pretty excited because it doesn't happen often as the prefect of mall security at the, at the High Spear Mall City that I used to go to. Yeah. It's the only mall city that I get to use. Is that what your title is? Prefect? Oh yeah. Oh, that's awesome. I like that. Um, you didn't see the badge that I had? It's hidden by the cloak, I guess.

Anyway. Um, so I will, I'm going to shoot this guy with an arrow. Yeah. Volley? Volley. All right. Yeah. Unless he, for some reason, isn't expecting me to shoot him in the back as he runs away. Well, he's defensive. He's trying to run away. All right. So called shot then I guess. Okay. Um, can you read off the description of called shot? All right. When you attack a defenseless or surprise enemy at range, you can choose to deal your damage or name your target and roll plus dexterity.

And seven to nine, they do nothing but stand and drool for a few moments. Yeah. So basically if you, if you hit this dude, but you don't kill him, he's going to be out of commission. What, what is your called shot? Knowing that you could well just kill him if you do hit him. Yeah. I, I feel a little bit like, uh, I'm getting a little excited. It's reminding me of the olden days. Yeah. I've seen a lot of heads explode, a lot of head damage. So I think I'm going to do, I'm going to call headshot.

Okay. Okay. So. Okay. So. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So yeah, go for it. Roll your two D six plus dexterity. Nine plus two 11. That's an 11. So, uh, give me your damage, which is a D eight two. Okay. Uh, yeah. So this is not going to kill him, but describe what it will do. He's got one of these dumb helmets that Billy just trashed. Uh, so that may be a deflected a bit kind of, instead of going right into the back of his head, it kind of scrapes up the back of his skull. Yeah.

So you, you get like the, the clasp.

Classic sharpshooter like movie shot where you pull the arrow back you close one eye there's some let fly there's a couple seconds of like airtime where there's nothing happening and the guy's still running camera on the arrow yeah it's that kind of thing where the arrow is spinning and the camera's watching it spin and then just wham hits this guy and you see him in the distance skid and trip and fall into a table of like merchandise and just hit the ground and he's he's not moving sick and then I look a little bit at fat billy I'm like I give one of the shoulder yeah and then I do an air high five and hit me in the knee pat yeah car twins like breathing pretty heavy you all kind of you get back in tantamile stalks off of this not moving person the light has gone out of their eyes and tantamile looks pleased with herself so I'll uh I'll grab car twin and I'll say till we get this mess all cleaned up I think we all better get out of here says yeah uh yeah okay um yeah okay and she so I can do that I can do that sorry it's been a while since I've been in a fight like that uh I can I can do the portraits at the at the at the headquarters and she grabs some paper and her supplies and you guys head off yeah grab my dagger yeah grab my dagger I um I take the second knife out of my arm and I'm like billy do you want an extra knife sure thank you there you go so you get a you get an extra knife it's technically a dirk which is a I believe a thin curved knife yeah or it's a guy that bullied you in mid-six I'll try and find the latest or the closest um cleaning elf with his little mop oh yeah and his little yellow sign and I'll just point over to where the mess is and I'm like get this cleaned up do you go to like the tubes in the wall and you're like yeah no I just I just have to tell one that's that's elf work is talking on the tubes no I just point at one I'm like get this cleaned up but they've already started oh yeah no problem good as done and there's some weird elves in like all white clothing like dragging bodies into a door starting to mop up uh yeah and you head back to headquarters yeah and car twin is sitting at your desk if you need help finding your friend I think I can help okay so billy hugs her leg I'm sorry I called you the b word oh that's fine it's not the first time so what's next can we please get these portrait izes finished all right I think that's gonna do it for this week thank you for listening to Spout Lore coming back each and every second week or whenever you are listening to this maybe you listen to them all at once because this is four years in the future and I'm going to be back in a couple of weeks and I'll see you next time bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye L You know when you see someone hit a golf ball and they know what they're doing?

Thanks to technical producer Wes Lord for making it happen. Thanks to Aaron Reed for the amazing intro and outro music that we all love so much. And thank you to Mark and MP for letting us record in their home. Damn straight. Yeah. And we'll catch you next week, people. Goodbye. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3.

Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week To hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly spell poor