Tag: Tabletop RPG

Halt, listener! Abdulaziz here, with my trusty sidekick, Sean O'Hara. I'm the sidekick? That's right, boy wonder. Okay, hold on a second. We're here to stop you from listening to- Wait, is this the messaging I'm trying to get across? Wait- That seems to be what you're suggesting. No, don't stop listening to the episode. Please continue to the episode.

But, I'm here to tell you that there is also a video version of the episode that you're about to listen to that is available right now, over on our YouTube page. And, if you are the Spout Lore patriot that we believe you are, we ask that you go and listen to it there, instead of here. Boy wonder, why don't you explain to them why it's so important that they listen to it on YouTube. Gee willikers, Abdul. Why it's so important is because this is Spout Lore's summer of YouTube.

A very YouTube summer by Spout Lore. For the month of June, from June 1st to June 30th, all of our video episodes are available for free. That means anything past and including episode 10 of season 12 has a video component that you can go watch right now. You can go see all of our beautiful faces playing Dungeon World for your enjoyment.

The reason why we're asking you to do that is because we- We, as the Spout Lore nation, are trying to trick YouTube into promoting our podcast to more amazing people like you. Just like when we launched Mall Brats and all of your activity helped launch us to number one in comedy podcasts in Canada, we're trying to do that again, but with YouTube. So go over there.

You can find a link to our YouTube page in the show notes of this very episode, including the video episode that you are listening to right now. And you can like, subscribe. And just generally engage with the video and tell YouTube, hey, this is something that people like. You should show this to other people. Other people like me, a Spout Lore patriot. I don't know why this is the character I made. Hey, whatever works, man.

And if we get 1,500 YouTube subscribers during this push, we are going to release for free our first volume of our Up All Night playtest, in which we play some brand new characters in 1990s, British Columbia investigating the supernatural. That's right. Child versions of the cast that you love just murdering Christmas mascots. Yeah, that's not what it's strictly about, but it's fun. Santa Claus. Bang, bang, bang. You'll like it. Check it out.

And if we get to 3000 subscribers, we're going to release volume two in which we play Last Pine Presses, Bump in the Dark, a Blades in the Dark monster hunting game set in the 1970s. That's right. And in this one, Snoopy's gone bad. Okay. Again, not what it's about, but you'll love it. So check that out. If that sounds like something you're interested in and you want more people to listen to Spout Lore and enjoy the show that you have enjoyed as well, you can get that engagement rolling.

Go to YouTube, subscribe, comment, like, share, do the surveys, the whole deal. For Glorious, the podcast is from… C to Shining Sea. Yeah. I feel like we might have muddied the message. We? Enjoy the episode. Enjoy the episode. Gather round, friends. Let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name. You know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute. He knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Thing is half-elf. He shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief. His tiny size does max the largest heart. Best and brightest, they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends. And listen close. For the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome. Wow. To Spell Lord.

Really cut that music off. I sure did. We just got stuff to do, baby. It's your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdulaziz. Oh, my ears. Shit. For me getting too quiet. I got quiet too fast. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers Hi Oh no I didn't want to detract from this Shit I actually don't know Things got too quiet too fast for a tool And playing Fabulous the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hello it's me and my three drinks Oh yeah we're back to three drinks Tea Ginger ale Lemonade baby Are you going to be okay Fuck I wish it was louder for longer Shit I wasn't ready The fade was Too Extreme Alright Alright we're moving That's the guy who grew up in the 80s for sure Yeah Wait Well all the songs faded in the 80s Yeah Cause you were all dead by then Yeah we just weren't alive yet Yeah we were dead in our dad's balls Yeah When I was in my dad's balls I was never more alive I was dead Never more alive I truly believe that Think of all the adventures you went on in your dad's balls Shut up What about when you're a little egg in your grandmother In my grandmother?

Oh grandmother's eggs Yeah That's my The name of my one man show Grandmother's eggs Cause you're in your mom's eggs When she was still in her mom Yeah That is crazy That those eggs are There's some solid eggs They last a long time Been sitting on that shelf for quite some time Yeah Good job ladies Way to go Way to go everybody Bye Shout out to All those folks with eggs out there As a woman I will take that praise Yeah Rightfully so You deserve it Thanks When last we left our heroes They had God what a great guy I am That's what's important That's what's important is for you to say that as often as you can Ladies People really start doubting it if I don't say it a lot Yeah Why do they start doubting it?

I don't know I feel like Gaslighting the fuck out of me When last we left our heroes They had defeated Colm Blackhammer The very Temporarily And sort of Not even all the way Redeemed In a sense Princep Co-princep Of the Firefields Principality Yeah not redeemed at all Not redeemed Just willing to give up a little bit of information He had been defeated And A4 Was painted With a barbecue smiley face And some angel wings And sent on his merry way And the flames Yeah!

And the flames I'm so sorry It said Gift for Highspear From Tuck, Billy, and Vic Yeah Yeah And Ving put a cool S on him Oh Cool S Where is There was one on the table Where did it fucking go? There's a cool S Oh there it is Holy shit Look how cool that S is You know how sick it was To have your name start with an S In the early 2000s? Imagine having two S's in your name Yeah Oh man You got two cool S's right in the middle That's so awesome Yeah And you could probably do a cool J too, right?

Oh Well I'll do that We'll do that We'll figure it out About things A4 headed off to Highspear To go defend the city And I think primarily Like kind of defend the Highspear That was what he was asked to do Make sure that Highspear doesn't get destroyed Yeah The party headed back into Hither and Yon Discovering Mears Who jumped out at them from an ambush point Having, according to him Given the sword back to Colm Blackhammer Being compelled by the icon of honor That Colm housed within his tattoo The inn at that point decided What you guys needed Was a little time at the beach And moved you to a black sand coastline Far to the west Summer vacation Summer vacation time Probably not too far away from Crystal Bay In all honesty Yeah No, not that far Beach party summer Beach party summer Did it Is it cool, Jack?

Whoa, it is cool It honestly is not that impressive Let me see It's pretty cool Oh, holy fuck Ah!

Two cool S's And what we did was mostly recuperate After a fucking molly whopping From Colm Blackhammer You guys needed to heal It was a brutal foreshadowing Of how intense the final conflict is gonna be Yeah I feel so vindicated In telling you guys After you fought Colm Blackhammer That facing him again in battle Would be a mistake And then he almost kills two of you Yeah Again Yeah But that is far behind us We're healing We're chilling on the beach We're meeting a new friend Wind River Friend?

In quotation marks We're meeting a new best friend Wind River Asterisk Betrayed Immediately betrayed by this new friend Well, you know A wandering hippie Who likes to ingratiate himself to people That do not know him And who is not a friend to him And who does not feel gracious towards him To get what he wants And that's some soup A place to chill Some vibe out time We discovered that He is just as robbable As any of the other NPCs You've ever met and interacted with We really had a moment Where we were like I guess we've moved past this And then immediately robbed him Towards larceny Wow I can't believe we're not gonna We're not gonna totally fleece this guy It shows growth Anyways, I'm gonna rob him You saw a couple things you wanted Including a little Vial of hibernia water How'd he get that?

Something called blight leaf That Billy took A potent poison And his driver's license Which referred to him As a member of the Masterly family Yeah Son of Lee Masterly III Yeah Wind River Explained to you that he had taken What he called a voluntary vow of poverty Which just means he's got a trust fund That he draws on when he needs it Which isn't all the time Yeah And has been kicked out of his house By his father After he was killed After crashing a car Through the dining room Victor arrived To take care of Billy Who had returned to his spring form And was overcome with grief At his slaying His part in the slaying Of Colm Blackhammer Who Victor deemed a foe Faced in battle And therefore Billy just defeated A combatant And there's nothing to be upset about And they rode off into the distance To maybe go kill some more people Maybe, who knows Yeah, danger without a plan Yeah We also learned that Billy's father Was a soldier Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah We also learned that Cloudpiercer and the Thunderbirds Are attempting now To strike against the storm Ugh And track down the piece of the moon That seems to be powering it And we connected a bunch of dots Mm-hmm All at once As Ving looked into the trove Of druidic knowledge within his chest That the pieces of the moon May be key to the Gibbous Man's plan Mm-hmm He seems to, Tuck believes Mm-hmm Using his font of knowledge Making wild guesses about stuff Nobody else knows about Mm-hmm Thinks the Gibbous Man's plan Due to his disdain to Or mortality and mortals And his wish to be a god Might just wanna wipe the whole thing clean Yeah And Lillian might be key to that plan But Lillian does not have a great relationship With her father, the god of the sky Uh-huh So he might require some method of controlling her Which the party posits I think probably rightly Mm-hmm Because of Ving's thing Which means that whatever Paul says was true Yeah That he requires the pieces of the fallen moon To control her Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!

And get her on his side Let's not forget Who put that together? Paul Oppers Star of Spelord Oh, shut up, bitch!

I honestly genuinely got gaslit so hard then That I forgot that that was your idea Uh, that was Abdul's idea I forgot I can't believe you're gaslighting me right now Paul, you fucking dickhead Uh, so maybe we have a new, uh, wide-ranging quest One, go to Blackpool Back glass and attempt to free Callum Blackhammer Uh-huh If you wish to fulfill the dying wish of Colm Yes And track down the pieces of the moon To sort of head the gibbous man off Yep To stop that aspect of his plan And kind of the utilitarian aspect of the Callum thing Is that it takes him off the board for the gibbous man Yeah, totally That is what we learned in terms of directions we might want to go Yeah, Cloud Pierce also has the wading knife Yeah Which we know is the only thing that has ever harmed a god And might be the only thing capable of killing the gibbous man Mm-hmm but that's not important.

What's most important is that Billy is on a dog and riding down the beach. Faster! Faster, Victor! Yeah! We got to a town at the end of the beach and Billy, with his binoculars, looked towards the entrance of the city and saw a newspaper boy, a newsie, calling out that there was a 10,000 coin bounty for information leading to the capture of the three outsiders responsible for killing Colm Blackhammer. This town is not doing good. There's a lot of people who could use that money for good things.

There's a lot of guys with eye scars and eye patches and, like, hook hands. And hungry kids. Yeah, they're like, we're all mercenaries and our kids are all starving. Yeah, and one of those people looking for that money, Wind River, who, after getting kicked out of Hither and Yon, made his way down the road to the beach town and Billy saw him recognize the three outsiders by their description in the newspaper. What do you do now? We should have never, we should have never kicked him out, Victor.

Are you riding towards the town or towards Hither and Yon? Back to Hither and Yon. Okay, great. Let's just cut back into the bar. Tuck and Ving are in the bar with Perel, Morris, and Mears. Francis is also here. He is asleep. He is a pig. He has nothing to contribute to the scene. Okay. Everybody, the listeners, Francis is in the room. It is now your responsibility to remember that. Is there anything that you four or five are discussing in here?

The last things that we kind of put all that shit together about the pieces of the moon. Pieces of the moon. That kind of like brings Morris and Perel up to speed on everything that we've done. Yep. Were there any open questions that we were trying to figure out from them that we were still, like we got the pieces of the moon, we know what they do, we know what Cloudpiercer's doing, we know the knife thing. Was there… Figured out the smog, that's a while ago. Yeah. Yeah.

Do they have any news about the tower? Yeah, that's what I was wondering. I think it would be like the progress of their project. Yeah. Which is currently understanding the High Spear. Like they can't really bend it to their goals until they understand the mechanisms. Yeah. So… But what have you figured out about it? Well, as two of the finest minds of the currently living, yeah, okay, you know the whole thing. We're geniuses, et cetera, blah, blah, blah.

We've been working on the tower along with Aquaria. She's been helping us out. So what we've learned is… What have we learned? So the High Spear is a wizard tower. So it was constructed by a wizard whose specific area of expertise was language and the power of the spoken word. They basically tell you that they have figured out mostly, they think, how the tower actually works, which is… It's basically a radio tower. That uses thalmic energy to connect people's minds.

So it diffuses a field across the planet, which connects people and allows them to just communicate almost without words, just getting ideas and language across perfectly. Oh, that's cool. It feels like if it fucked up, then everyone would not be able to hold thoughts in. You know what I mean? Yeah. Or maybe not speak at all. Because no one really… That's maybe Perel saying.

He's like, yeah, one of the things we're wondering is if this means that no one actually really learns how to speak physically. And if this tower goes down, it's not just that people that speak other languages won't be able to communicate. It's that people won't be able to communicate at all. So we think that the way that the field works, it translates through the thalmic realm is how it connects people. That's how it connects over space.

So if we're able to use that to contact the wizards that are trapped in their own thalmic bodies, like bubble universes, we might be able to use that to communicate with them. But we just need a lot more power. Cool. And at this moment, Victor comes power sliding into the door with Billy on his back. And I tumble off, roll into almost the fire. I go, he betrayed us. Windweaver, he's going to betray us. He's going to let everyone know where we are. They know we killed Colm. What?

They're going to give everyone 10,000 coins. They're going to give everybody 10,000 coins? There's no way. There's no way. We have that kind of money. He's going to get 10,000 coins. For what? For telling on us. For telling us about what? That we killed Colm. Oh, shit. They're going to get out of here. They're going to come for us. You should have seen these guys. You should have seen this town. Describe one. His hands were pitchforks. Their eyes covered in bandages.

A person, scraggly hair coming at me. Teeth long and sharp. I'm so scared. You awake right now? We cut back and it was a scarecrow. He passed through the window. They're coming for us. We got you now, Mears. Do it now. Okay. All right. Well, close the door next time. And he walks around the bar and closes the door and all the shutters close. God, were you born in a barn? You're letting all the heat out. Where does it go now? What do you think the general consensus thought in this room is?

Highspear. Into what you need. Yeah. I think Highspear. Because M4 got there two hours ago and Morris and Pearl are not there to receive it. Oh my gosh. And everyone is freaking out. They're like, who the fuck are Tuck, Billy, and V? A4 is just waiting outside the tower like, guys. Like looking in all the windows like, hello. Smiling with a smile and a thumbs up. Thumbs up. And they shot a harpoon at him and he's like, no, don't do that. Please. Please. So you guys are going to High Spirit. Yes.

It's the tower or the city? I assume the tower. I guess whoever needs to talk to us most about this. Which is A4. Yeah, totally. I think he's on the outskirts, like just on the edge of town. You guys told him to go to the tower. He might have just gone to the tower. Yeah. Or like, you know, step around the city so he doesn't step on anybody. Yes. He like tiptoed all the way around. I like the idea of him, because there's a mountain nearby. Yeah.

Like above the tower that he's like kind of like sitting on the mountain. Oh, yeah. Down at the tower. Yeah, because I always imagined the tower as part of the mountain. Yes. It is. Yeah. Yeah. So you come out of a door out into the High Spear, I guess. Whoa. Like the first room, like one of the ground level rooms of the High Spear. It's beautiful. It's a lot of like metal, finely wrought, in a very ancient style. Like a lot of silvers and golds.

Kind of like some real Wizard of Oz looking shit in here. Like a lot of very crystalline and flowing shapes. And you see like there's like long, tall, skinny windows set into the tower at different intervals. Like it could look out over the city. Oh, cool. There's like a central. So it's like a big circular chamber. The ceilings are quite high. It's like sort of airy in this spot with like the long, tall windows having daylight filter in. But the center of the room is dominated.

Floor to ceiling with like moving, spinning gears and pieces of metal that have like a very what you would all describe as a wizardy quality. There's like pieces that are floating around it in different like opposite circles and stuff that you couldn't even begin to understand. But Morris and Perel see you staring at it and go, yes, this is the High Spear. What we're calling the High Spear. All right. Oh, this is what does the whole the whole thing with the words and the magic. This is it. Cool.

It goes all the way up and all the way down. All the way down to the base of the mountain. Yeah, there's there's several layers into the mountain below. Whoa. Did you ever get to the very bottom? There's a there's a few locked doors that we haven't been able to get through. But we're working on it. Anyway, go talk to your big robot friend. Okay. And you leave the room. Chamber. And you see sitting on an outcropping of the mountain. Not too far away is a giant robot with his head on his fist.

Just waiting. Like legs dangling. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Every time he dangles his legs like a flock of birds flies off of a nearby rock. Yeah. And arrayed below you is the city of High Spear. A beautiful city containing very many thousands of people. Yeah. Terrified. Terrified. A lot of screaming. Yeah. You can hear from below. Still? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You sit in there a few hours. Yeah. That's a big robot.

Every once in a while, it's like it starts up again. Someone like hyperventilates and starts screaming. And then all the people in the neighborhood are like, ah, what's happened? The end has come. End of the world. There's a giant banner in one section of the city that people have erected that say, we pay homage to robot. And there's other people like piling their belongings to like do a mass exodus or something like that. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Another banner that says, we do not pay homage to Big Robot. And it's just a civil war is starting in the city. And they're all standing across from each other like, not my robot. Hashtag not my robot. Hashtag not my robot. It's so funny.

And as you're walking along this rocky mountain trail above the city, you see stamping up the mountain, marching up the path that usually leads to this and to the outcropping that A4 has settled on. A number of armed soldiers. Drums. Let's go. Intercept. Yeah. You are able to make it to the center of the column. They kind of pass you a little bit. And there's a bunch of soldiers just marching ahead. Hey, hold. Wait, stop. Tuck throws a rocket at whoever he sees on a horse. On a horse?

He throws a rocket at whoever he thinks the most important guy is. Yeah. Here we go. Ten. Okay, great. So you throw a rocket at a guy on a horse. Yeah. Stop. And it clangs off his helmet like he's got like a shining silver helmet. Oh, yeah. With the big horse hair off the back. Exactly. Yeah. And he turns and lifts a fist and boom. Everybody stops. The drums stop. They all turn to you. Hey. Hey. Did you throw that rock at me? Yeah. You guys weren't stopping. Are you Tuck, Ving, and Billy?

That's right. Yeah. Bow at your service. Heroes of legend and tale storied, told across the battlefield. We are the Wanderers Three. The generous souls who gifted this beacon of hope to this city. We brought this robot back to life after he died in a completely unavoidable self-sacrifice type scenario. Yeah. We taught him to love, to live, to laugh. We taught him how to be human. And we brought him here to protect us. He holds up a hand. Okay. I get the gist. I get the gist.

You should come with us. Okay. To where? To meet the mayor. Okay. You know our move. Yeah. And you are led along the column. Can I roll for a trap expert? Oh, you can roll trap. Yeah. You can roll trap expert. 2d6 plus dexterity. I don't trust anybody. Anyone. 12. 12. Is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? I really think this is a situation in which no, there is not a trap here. Nice. Yeah. What else is hidden here? Yeah. As you are led along, you are led to the front of the column.

It appears that this group was escorting the mayor of Highspear. Oh. And the soldier on the horse is riding alongside you. He'll ride ahead and then he'll stop and turn around while you catch up. And then he rides ahead a little bit more. And then he stops, turns around. Please get a move on. I'm trying. Please get us a horse. Yeah. I have Billy and Bjorn on my chest. But I'm still going. And being on your shoulders. We've never done this before. Why are we doing it like this? Yeah.

I have to keep up with a horse. You're so much better at cardio than I am. My legs are so big. They're rubbing. They're rubbing. They're rubbing so much. They're rubbing together. And you eventually get to the front of the column and you hear the soldier shout out, Mayor Boggins. Quiet talk. I don't breathe that loud. I'm just panting right now. It's the mayor. Okay. The mayor. Okay. Winky face. Okay. Thanks, Billy. Did Tuck hear what he said over the chugging? Yeah, he did. Okay. Great. Great.

And ahead of you, you see in a very fine, much finer than you've ever seen him wear before. Very fine, long coat. Long hair. Hair longer and taller than it's ever been. Longer and taller than ever before. His coat is so long that the train has its own horse. Oh, it's got a separate horse? That's really fun. The horse cannot see. The horse can't see at all. Bring me your blindest horse that I may put my train on without it absolutely freaking out.

And you do see ahead of you, Mayor Etienne Boggins. I think it's off of Tuck. Goes hand reaching out. Lovely to meet you. Hello there. Nice to meet you as well. I'm Etienne Boggins. And he holds a hand down. Out to be kissed. Bing kisses it reluctantly. Yes, that is the proper respect to be shown, Mayor. You two come forward. Kiss my ring. He's on all fours. He's like, okay, cool. I'll come up. He stands up. He's like, okay. Billy, you're soaked, by the way. Yeah, yeah. With my sweat.

I'm trying to like, I'm wringing out all the bandages that I've covered in. I like that when you're on all fours, Billy's just hanging off you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the Bjorn. Also on all fours. I go up to Dan, right? It's Dan. It's Mayor Etienne Boggins. Thank you. Nice to meet you. Okay, here we go. And then I kiss him, but I give a little bite to his hand. Nice to meet you, barbarian. Yeah, that's me. I should get convinced of this civilized world. Better get a fucking point for that.

You always do, no matter what. I guarantee you, I don't, Mr. Boggins. Sometimes it seems like no matter what. Some people say things are considered conventions. Now, uh, Commander. Wait, we have another little boy here. Do you want to kiss Billy? I don't allow children to kiss my hands. They're filthy. Whoa. What? My hands. I've been riding all day. Commander, I believe I should have a private council with these three here. They may be very important to the situation. And the commander nods.

Yes, of course, Mr. Mayor. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Despair City, I welcome you to- And the flap goes down. What the fuck are you guys doing? You did it. What the fuck have you done? You won. Congratulations. Of course I won. I manipulated the election. We still think it's a real election. I can't believe you pulled it up. It was rigged. It was a platform. The whole thing was fucking rigged.

It was rigged. Yes, of course it was rigged. That's actually a really good platform. How'd you guys rig it? I just rig elections. That's what I do. I love rigging elections. I can't get enough. What the fuck happened with the big robot? What do you mean? We already told you. It's a gift? Yeah, it's a gift for Highspear to make things feel nice. Yeah, we give him a quick rundown of everything that happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like, we killed Cold Black Hammer. This was Project Anvil.

You probably heard about Project Anvil. It was just a huge Mac. And then we took another Mac's heart and put it in this guy and brought him to life. And now he's a robot on the Highspear side. He kind of has a mind of his own, but we think he's our friend. Yeah, but yeah, he's totally uncontrollable. He's metal as fuck. That's the one thing we instilled in him was to not respect authority.

So you, sorry, you, just to be clear, the mayor, the one thing that you taught a 120 foot tall war machine is to listen to no one. That's the way it should be. That's what being metal is all about. Holy shit. Yeah. He like sits down in the little like. Folding chair that they brought in for him. He peeks out of the curtain and M4 is like holding a bird on his finger. Yeah, totally. Just looking at it. Or like a stag. Yeah. A mountain goat. You're cool too. Rolling a mountain goat. Okay.

So you sent the robot here to protect the tower. Yeah. And the city. Yeah. Okay. That's cool. Yeah. We can't have like the black hammer twins having access to this guy. Well, technically it's just one black hammer now. Yeah. Just the one black hammer. I can't believe you guys killed calm black hammer. We had no choice. It was so easy. We barely had to, we barely even try. Uh huh. Like you're completely bandaged. Your torso is covered in bandages. I bet. I bet it was easy.

Ving and Billy look at tech like, wow, I guess he doesn't like real life. I don't remember being possessed. Yeah. It must've been super easy when you weren't there for most of the fight. Uh, wow. Okay. So great. He's cool. You told him to come here to help. Then yes, I, the mayor of high spear. Yes. We'll negotiate with this one of a kind state of the art giant robot. And we'll come and help. Okay. We know how off putting Dan. Sure. Right. Yeah. Okay. Great. Um, excellent. Excellent. Excellent.

Excellent. And he puts his wig back on and puts on this like nose that he's wearing. Wonderful. And he pushes his way through the tent. It's been decided. They will come with us to discuss terms with the robot. Everyone mount up. He hops back on his horse. His coat train is replaced on the giant horse. Can we sit on the train horse? That horse is reserved for the train of my mayoral vestments. You will walk boy. Easy. Big.

Uh, and you had further up the cliff to M four slash a four where he rests. Seriously. We need to get you a puffer. You don't get to complain. You're on my fucking shoulder. Like that. It's just talk is, uh, uh, uh, and then we pan down and he's on things. Shoulder. Now he's like, all right, whatever, buddy. Billy. Okay. Up there. I'm just, you guys are both so out of breath. I'm so tired. Running along. Billy's getting whipped back and forth on tux. He's just getting motion sick. Things.

Gams are just popping with every step. Incredible. Breaking a sweat. Uh, and you reach M four. He towers above you on his cliff face. Ah, my friends. Hello. I made it to high spear. Minimal casualties. Uh, it's a lovely. Spot. You find yourself. How is the vantage from up there? It's quite beautiful. The cities of man are so incredible from this high up. Look over there. That's where they all go and eat all. You can eat ribs. Oh shit. They can't get enough of them. God.

He found out all the important stuff. What else did you see on your way here? Yeah, you can roll. Oh yeah. Died to certain realities. Yeah. He can give you some info. Seven. Okay. So you get one question off the list. I guess what is about to happen? Here in high spear. Ah, good one. Great question. Billy. Now that Colm Blackhammer is dead, dead, dead. This massive voice. And Dan is like, well, there goes that military.

News has spread fast along the front and the armies of the firefields principalities are in disarray. This is just a newscast from beside a broadcast tower. You can't even see the fire. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, yes. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work.

There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work.

Though who knows what dangers lurk in the mind of Callum But it would appear that the restaurant in the lower district Has deemed every day all you can eat ribs For $5.99 while supplies $4.99 $3.99 While supplies last And then cuts to the guy that owns the ribs place And he's like, what?

I didn't see that A mob of people jumped on the road No, no Let's take the door back We don't have a door Hide the ribs Look at 28 days later People start bursting through windows Give me their ass We lost Cal He's gone He's gone They started all you can eating his ribs No Only some of that happens What a crazy day in High Spirit So that's what A4 tells you The war though not Over over the forces are being Called to retreat the city Okay that's good information And I have come here To High Spirit City as you Requested of me Thank you I will take the High Spear in my charge Really Yes that is why you asked me to come here correct Yeah We need you to protect us from the Firefield soldiers This I can do And they will come for you I think This seems wise and likely The city is full of like really good people And a really cool mall You can't let Anything happen to the mall The mall's got a bunch of really important Characters for a different story So the mall has to stay safe Very well I will protect this city I will become the defender of High Spear And the crowd goes Yay One guy goes not my robot He's the only one left With that banner Just one contrarian in the whole group I don't know I don't think I trust The giant robot protector Dude you sound like a Fucking spy from the firefield I don't know what you mean I'm just a normal High Spear guy Wait a second Who are you I've been had Yeah so It is unless you have any more questions for A4 Here he shall stay I do have one So we know that it takes A shit load of coal to power Even the small max Oh yeah what's he running on Yeah We're on that hibernia water That was just in the boiler Yeah We didn't establish really Taka actually had an idea about this From all of the demon stuff that we've been exposed to And my connection to Black Spire And then he goes Shout out to a real one I think that the Mechs because they are Designed to run on obsidian Kind of imbued Coal That!

They could actually also run on Sunstone You got there After me by a lot By a lot You said at the same time But I do appreciate that Tuck you have full credit Let's not forget Whose idea this was It's a great idea But yeah Could we get a bunch of sunstone I feel like you could burn it For energy Hmm Interesting Roll a spell or 2d6 plus intelligence Shit Someone else do this I'll say it's your idea No I'm not taking credit for that Son of a bitch Please work Yes Okay It's a great idea And I'm using Fount of knowledge Uh Yep Yep Okay here we go Whoa Okay So that's Eight So eight Seven to nine Interesting Not necessarily useful So I think it's an Interesting idea We just don't know that Sunstone creates heat We don't know that it can be used as fuel Because it is a rock It is a stone Mm-hmm But is it Do we think the idea is Potentially Sunstone could be used Like a smaller amount of sunstone Charged sunstone could be used to boil The steam that is required to run A4 Is that what we're thinking?

Yeah And it could Because the Like the smog is basically like Obsidian Kind of Like the obsidian coal burning And pouring into the atmosphere This would like Sort of like Put particulates of like sunstone Which are anti-demon Mm-hmm Into the air So it'd be like a counteracting To the smog as well Yeah We do know that sunstone is quite rare It is So where are we thinking We're getting a quantity Large enough to run A4 I look at Dan I go You're in charge of the city's treasury, right?

I mean as may of course I am Is there any way to get it done? Is there any sunstone in there? Um Hmm There might be I'm not at liberty to share the contents of the city treasury With three rapscallions such as yourselves Perhaps we may be able to find some sort of stone Or you can leave this to my discretion Do we trust Do we trust Dan?

No, we don't But we don't have much of a choice He is selfish enough that I think He'll make sure A4 gets what he needs At least make sure Dan's in there And is okay Okay Cover his butt, yeah Yeah Okay You take care of this Wonderful You may go now I will see to it that A4 receives All of the resources that he requires To protect this city and its people And more importantly its mayor Now be gone with you I climb back onto top Well I guess we're walking Okay Look at Ving Alright Get on Doug scrambles up Ving's shell Oh my god And you hear You need to shave your legs And you hear Mayor Boggins go Ah, my horse is tired Bring me my backup horse You had another horse?

Be gone with you You suck Bye A4 Goodbye friends Thank you for once more giving me life Thank you for saving us A4 It is the debt that I could repay You have given me life once I have repaid it once Given me life twice I have repaid it twice Goodbye friends Goodbye friends Goodbye friends Goodbye friends Goodbye friends Goodbye friends Goodbye friends For your kindness I shall repay it a third time At some future date Wow Thank you If there's anything you need of us I hope that you feel comfortable enough to ask I will I'll just say it really loud And hope you hear me Wherever you are Thanks And thanks for taking care of the city too He nods And his big head whips back and forth At 200 miles per hour Five stories up And a bunch of birds go Squawk And fly away from his giant head and yeah you leave this scene there is a bunch of soldiers in attendance now like trying to speak to a4 and figure out what he needs and you are able to return to the high spear yep what does it look like I mean from so the inside were we on the ground floor when we showed up yes pretty much yeah you were in like the entrance level I am curious about these like basement doors that they couldn't get through yes yeah there are lower levels and morrison perel you hear their voices in some room they're not here on this ground level but they are around it's the got the vibe of like you're at your uncle's place and you're just staying here for the week and they can't be hanging out with you all the time but they're around you just kind of do what you want so you're going down to the lower levels I want to do the thing where I slide down the staircase so that's what I was going to say you guys spend some time looking for a staircase oh and you can't find one you're like walking around you're checking doors you're looking in rooms no stairs to certain realities I'm looking under the rugs you I'm touching everything pulling out of the books looking for a secret staircase parts of the wall yeah nothing what pulled over a bookshelf yeah so nothing behind here either just knocked it over completely uh something was gonna roll to certain realities yeah yeah 2d6 plus wisdom 10 all right three questions what here is not what it appears to be ah you see billy uh is poking things he's like touching everything walking around and he gets to like a sort of distended section of the wall it's like a half cylinder uh that goes up and down the whole length of this chamber and he's like tap tap tap tap tap tap and he touches like a circular part and it goes ding and a door slides open revealing a chamber within oh it's a chamber big enough for maybe five to six people let's squeeze in wait what what if it's not okay okay yeah I roll I would like to roll trap x okay 2d6 and you get a plus one from acting on the answer oh okay 11 11 okay three questions off this list is there a trap here and if so it activates it there is a trap here if you you think that if you enter this chamber that door will close behind you at some point and when it opens again you might not be where you were when the door closed okay what else does it do when activated there appears to be you like kind of peek your head in a little bit and uh you hear oh What else is hidden here?

There are a number of buttons along one wall, very similar to the button, the circular impression that you press to open this door. Do we risk it? Looks fun inside. I mean, the music's kind of shit, but I'm down. Hey, I walk in and I go, play different music. I press every button. Yeah, the door closes and then the room rumbles. And then just a couple seconds later, it stops, opens up and you see Morris and Perel and they turn around. Hey, hi. You want to come in? No, no, that's okay.

Where are you guys going? We're trying to get to the basement. Yeah, which button? Press the lowest button. It's like minus four. Oh, tech presses it. They've all been pressed by Billy. Oh. You've got time. And as the door is closing, we're like, wait, what button changes the music? And then it goes down one more floor. Billy's gripping the sides of the walls. It's moving like so fast. Bing, you have further questions. Yeah, what here's useful or valuable to us?

Okay, minus two opens and there is that central pillar that you saw that goes through the main chamber with different parts spinning. It looks like there are many like thin sheets of, I mean, I want to say like it's not paper, but like there, you can see that there are different consoles like plinths laid out with things laying on top of them that are connected to the central pillar by conduits. And they're like etchings that are happening on the sheets. Oh, until like clay tablets.

Yeah, clay tablets are like our sheets of glass, you know, like things are being etched out and then like ferried away to different places. So is it actively transcribing right now? It looks like it. Yeah. Wild. A giant computer. Ding! Door closes in your face and continues down a floor. Yeah, Tuck's head is buffering. Actually, this one's not bad. And this is level minus three, which is the second to last lower level. And this level contains… What do I glimpse? Yeah, what do we think?

Oh, this might be like where things are stored. Like all that stuff, all those like little… Transcriptions are stored. Oh, yeah, that makes sense because there's so many of them. Like a big, deep, far like library almost. Yeah. And you see them like coming down through the ceiling and then being like slotted into different shelves. Yeah. And then those like will like move back. Yeah. And like slot in new things. And it's just like forever. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, I like that a lot.

So there's just shelf upon shelf upon shelf of stored documents here. Very well organized. Very unlike any other tower you've been in like Perel's or the Fanny Pack. Like it's so orderly in here. Yeah. And then door closes and it goes down to level negative four, which opens on a corridor that ends like very similar to like the gold and silver corridors that you've seen so far. And then ends in a heavy metal door with beautiful and artistic gold and silver designs reminiscent of pen strokes. Oh.

Yeah. And there it is. There's the door. What should I be on the lookout for? You. Okay. So you're looking at the… The very like calligraphic sort of designs on the door in gold and silver. And thinking about how this is some sort of language center, you believe that it very well could just be a simple password that would open this door. Password. Texas. Password one, two, three, four. Can I suggest something? Yes, please. Yes, absolutely.

You said that it's like pen stroke, like metal flourishes. What if like where the flourishes are ending, it's almost like they're all locks into the sides of the wall. Mm-hmm. Barring the door from being opened. Yeah, no, that makes sense. Like the pins kind of in like a bank vault door where they like go into the wall and hold it in place. Thank you, that's what I mean. Oh, yeah. So it's super secure. It's extremely secure. Fuck. Admin. Fuck. Can I do tricks of the trade?

Ooh, you could try tricks of the trade for sure. Yeah. Can you read tricks of the trade? It's been a while. Yeah. When you pick locks or pockets or disable traps. Roll plus dexterity. On 10 plus, you do it. No problem. Seven to nine, you still do it. But the GM will offer you two options between suspicion, danger, or cost. Right. 2d6 plus dexterity. Whoa. 11. Yeah, do it. No problem, you guys. Yeah. Do it. No problem. So narrow. Forgot password. That's a great. So does Billy say forgot password?

Yeah. Okay, great. Uh, the gold like starts to illuminate into an interface. Yeah, totally. The command is. Yeah. You're basically telling the door. Yeah. I forgot my password. So now it wants you to reset the password to the door. Oh, no. But that means that you need some sort of confirmation to be able to reset the password. Maybe it asks three questions. Oh, yeah. Three. Like you're like the security question. Yes. Oh, that's fun. Yeah.

So it's like, what is your what was your first pet's name? Yeah. What is the name of the street you grew up on? What is your mother's maiden name? Whoa. Maybe it asks all each of us these questions. Crazy. What if it was like, Billy, what is this? And then it's like Tacoma Dome. What? Because they can read our minds. Interesting. Because all those things are our answers that we don't know. Oh, shit. That's sick. That's pretty fun. So, Billy, you say forgot password. Mm-hmm.

And the gold and silver in the door sort of illuminates and flows as the metal comes down to like eye level or, you know, slightly above eye level for Billy, like chest level for Vig and Tuck. Yeah. And begins writing. It writes, Billy, what was the name of your first pet? Tuck, what street did you grow up on? Ving, what is your mother's maiden name? Um. Uh. Wow. Well, uh. I never thought about that. Have I had a pet before? Ving looks at his leather wrist strap. Okay.

I don't see first names on this thing. Really easy question answer for me, a regular guy who remembers his whole past. Door, give me a hint. Door, hint. We should go in that archive room on minus three. Yeah. There's probably a shit ton of information in there. That's what Sean's been wanting us to do the whole time. Yeah. Hey, there's an archive room. You can go there or you don't. Go there. Yeah. You guys can figure it out. All right. Let's go there. All right.

So you head back up the elevator. And ding. It opens onto row after row after row of like thin glass, shiny sheets slotted into shelves back, back, back, back, back, row after row. Is there a way that these are organized? Like some kind of Dewey decimal system? Uh, there. You would assume that there is. There is a way that this is organized. It is currently unknown to you. Uh, okay. To certain realities. 2D6 plus wisdom.

Please, please, for the love of God, someone, Allah, God of the flame, anybody who's listening, give me some luck on these naps. Okay? Ooh. You brought a lot. Is this one jacked? You caught it on your thing seemingly deliberately. So I'm going to say no. Is that a one and a three? That's a one. That's a one. That's a one and a three. Plus wisdom though. It's a five. Damn it. Um, wow. That's a great question. What happens on a failure here?

I, I see a, like a, you know, those cards that they have in, in like libraries, like drawers and drawers of cards. I'm like, oh, I bet there's some kind of information about, and then I pull it out and then the drawer falls in a bunch of glass shadows on the ground. Totally. Yeah. A big, like, like two dozen. I pulled the drawer way too far. Yeah. Yeah. Two dozen sheets of glass. Falling. Just shatter on the ground. And then they kind of like, and zip away into a little like a grill in the wall.

I think we're fine. I don't think I saw your mom's maiden name on any of those. As they were falling, I speed read all of them and it wasn't in there. Key information to the history of the world has now been lost forever. You'll never know. I sped read. You'll never know what that says. It was a bunch of. It was a bunch of breakfast menus. It wasn't anything important. Breakfast menus. That's so important. So I think the thing that this also shows you is that, yeah, there's no discernible.

There's no organizational style that you are familiar with. That whoever built this tower definitely built it. Like, well, I know where everything is. So that's all that matters to me. So if you're going to find any information in this, it's going to be an undertaking for sure. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe there's like a. Like a golem. Like a guide kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My name is Dewey. That's cute. Oh, glass golem. Yeah. The glass shards don't zip away.

All those cards shatter on the ground and you hear like a clinking far in the back of the archive. We steal ourselves. Are we in trouble? Clink. Clink. Clink. I draw my spear. Clink. Clink. Clink. Clink. Clink. And then holding a broom is about a five foot eight humanoid figure made out of a of the archival glass, like scribed with different symbols and written word standing in front of you. And it like clink, clink, clink, clink, walks past you and starts sweeping up the glass.

What does he look like? A humanoid body, very angular and geometric. Uh-huh. No discernible facial features, like a polygonal person basically. Okay. I got you. Made out of these sheets of glass and they start sweeping up. They push past you. I'm sorry. Clink. Clink. Clink. Choo. Choo. Choo. Choo. Excuse me. Choo. Choo. Choo. Choo. Can I try a parlay with it? Yeah, absolutely. Oh, smart. So parlay means you're offering something in exchange. You will not smash all of these pieces of glass.

How do I communicate to something? Yeah, you can just like defy danger charisma to try and like get it to pay attention to you. Okay. It seems very drawn to its work right now. Yeah. It's ignoring me. So I kind of slowly open up another one of those drawers. Excuse me. Eight. Eight. Nice. So you like, excuse me. And you are opening another thing. And as it hears the like drawer open, it stops and turns. Can you help me find information? It nods. Oh, we have questions and we need some answers.

It clink, clink, walks forward, pushes you away from the drawer, gently closes the drawer. Yeah, Billy, you have to be careful. You don't want to drop another one of those. And it looks at Tuck. It looks at Tuck. Sorry, sir. Kids. Sorry about little butterfingers over there. You know, they keep breaking stuff. And then he looks at Billy. He's like, I'm so sorry. This is a betrayal. I'm just really embarrassed. The library's alive. You need to learn how to deal with your embarrassment.

And it steps forward into like the middle of the corridor between the two. Two rows of aisle or the two rows of shelves that go back and back and back on. It's like weird. Its feet end in like points. Like it's just four panes of triangular glass going to needle points at the end. And it stands in front of you. Clacks its two hands together and waits. Help me find. How do I find personal information? Yeah, we'll call this a Spout Lore. Sure. This is our greatest challenge ever.

And you know what? It shows four. Okay. That's a failure. For sure. Yeah. Shit. Fuck. Ellis. I could. I'll use a fairy child. Oh, yeah. Nice. Yeah. Okay. So interesting, but not useful. So there's definitely like there must be a section on the fair folk. Yeah. Or no. Unlike personal information. Okay. Oh, what's the interesting but not useful here? This is tough because this is like big info, but it's all here. Well, it's communication that's here. It's not like history, right?

It's like transcriptions of conversations. It's anything that's gone back and forth between two minds. Yeah. Oh, maybe like if it's if it's communication, then it would probably be filing everything chronologically. Yeah. So all the oldest stuff would be at the back. Further back. Yeah, totally. So maybe something like Billy would be maybe too far back to be recorded. So what Billy would be looking for is like stories that have been told about him. Maybe there's like a little like airport.

What are they called? Those walkways. Walkways. Oh, like a moving walkway. Yeah. Yeah. And like it turns one on. Thinking about like this floor being like, I don't know if the floor is also glass or not, but it's like these tiles that like start moving. Oh, yeah. Totally. And you see before it starts moving, it illuminates. It goes. Oh, yeah. A little like lights guiding the way. And yeah.

So lights illuminate in the glass of the floor and little panes start gliding along surprisingly silently like they're fit together so tightly and it just starts guiding gliding away and it gestures at you and towards the walkway. It tries to sweep me onto it. Yeah. It just pushes you with its broom. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. There you go. Thank you. Where am I going? We kind of just like let that happen. Yeah. Billy? Guys? We're like, huh? You gonna come with me? A kid just got in a weird van.

Basically. Okay. You start to walk towards the walkway and it steps in front of you. Oh, hey, that's our kid over there. Is it okay for him to be alone in the library? Just stares impassively at you, but it nods. Is it okay to be alone? Nods. Okay. Nothing dangerous. Nothing dangerous in here. It holds up two hands. Now, hold on. Do you understand English? It nods. Okay. We're in the tower that understands English. This is the tower that made everyone speak English. Everyone speaks English.

And Billy, you are? You are dragged away so fast. Your hair is blowing in the stagnant air of this place. Oh, and it's like what seemed like a very narrow hallway. Initially, it starts to like open up and the ceiling raises up and you get taken. Oh, I get taken like down. Like different levels. Whoa. And you're speeding up. Like a track. Yeah. Like sharp dip. Turn to the left. There's racks. Mind card madness. Yeah, exactly. There's racks and racks everywhere. Yeah.

It seems like every communication. Every communication. Every communicated idea since the foundation of this tower is stored here. It's the whole inside of the mountain. Yeah. Is every log ever. Is the storage. Of every conversation ever had. Yeah, Billy, you realize you are inside the High Spear Mountain. Oh, my gosh. Wow. And you are. And the glass is made from the ground up granite. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They make the glass from the mountain. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if Farrah's been in here.

She would lose her mind. She would lose her mind. And like. Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. Oh! And slowly, but faster than you expect. Shook. You come to a stop. You tumble off the floor. Yeah, I tumble off the floor. Whoa. Hello. You are in a section that is as big, if not bigger than the section you were just in. The mountain has been hollowed out, it looks like. And then a structure constructed within it.

So the ceiling, quote unquote, is like a fucking kilometer above you. You have been brought down quite far. You see that these tracks, these glass tile tracks run all over the place, crisscrossing. But the thing that you are struck by as you were when you walked in is how orderly it is. Whoever built this place was obsessed with like cleanliness, neatness and order. So it's like a massive grid pattern that fills this whole mountain. The shelves themselves are like a bookshelf.

Like there's, you know, two sides to every shelf. And then each shelf is filled with these. With these like glass panes that have very little clearance between. So it's just sheet after sheet after sheet of glass, which is for Billy very boring to look at. Yeah. But also kind of beautiful in its own way because it's like so glittery. You sort of like hear the tinkling of like a million of these like panes of glass just kind of existing in a space this huge. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Like, yeah, like there's like just like a little shift in the air pressure and there's like kind of a wind chime sound that blows through. And you hear the sounds of what you assume are new sheets being filed. Oh, yeah. Must be very distant. And you've been dropped off in this area by the walkway, which leads you to believe this is the quote unquote personal information section. So I look, I will look here, I guess. Yeah. Discern realities. Go ahead and roll 2d6 plus wisdom. Six. God. Shit.

Rolling like shit. So I think Billy is just kind of lost right now. Guys. Yeah. Bing. Bing. I can't read. He said Bing. I can't read. Not Tuck. And you hear movement. Cut back to Tuck and Bing. All right. Do you want to go next or should I? I'll go. Yeah. Hello. Glasperian. Can you take me to the section of my personal information? Go ahead and roll 2d6 plus intelligence for spell or. I'm going to use my what the bones know to replace my one with a five. Hey, fuck. Yes. We go. Holy shit. Eight.

This is an eight. You saved it. That's awesome. Nice. So it's a seven to nine. So the walkway ding, ding, ding, ding, ding starts to light up and begins moving. Whoa. And you are taken. You see what Billy saw a cavernous hollowed out mountain filled with every communicated idea. And you see the building of this tower. I'm bad enough with numbers. I can't even begin to estimate how much material is in here. What's the nature of the light in here?

It seems like it's just sort of like it's almost like the like there is light being caught by the sheets that is then being magnified by the other sheets. Like it's sort of like reflections on reflection. So there's diffused light throughout the room and you are taken. Billy, you're like walking through you here like movement in the stacks. What's there? And then. And then you see Ving past. Bye. Ving. Billy. Can't read. You can't read. And you hear Billy.

But you are carried far and away down the row. Ving starts running against the tracks too fast. And the camera is like looking at Billy who is looking away and behind we see a shadow move past the aisle. I thought it was supposed to be safe. To another aisle. And you are brought to a section. All right. All right. So you are brought to a section a long way away from where Billy is and the walkway suddenly comes to a stop. He slides off. Yeah. Very gracefully. You Tom Cruise from Risky Business.

Yeah. Yeah. Lean. You lean on a shelf and a bunch of glass falls out and chatters on the ground. Hey, whoa. Whoa. Put those back. File them wrong. Okay. I'm going to start looking at the things. Yeah. Go ahead. Two to six plus discern realities. Nice. Eleven. Holy shit. Three questions. Yeah. What here is useful or valuable to me? You are looking for your mother's maiden name. Okay. So you're pulling out sheets of this glass. What does the writing look like on them do you think?

I'm imagining very small. Like really tiny writing. And in what language? I think Elvish. Yeah. Like whatever you can read. Your original language. Uh huh. Yeah. Okay. Great. Oh, and it's high Elvish too. This script is so ornate. Oh, it's so ornate. Oh, it's so ornate. Oh, it's so ornate. I have to read it like this. I tilt my head back and put my nose up in the air. You can't read it without chatting the bottom, doing an underbite. Yes. Wow. Quite interesting.

You are reading this information, which is presented as like a transcript. It's like the name of the speaker, what they say, the name of the speaker, what they say. Am I in the right era at least? So you see a conversation. You recall having with your mother as a child. When it's not like you recall the conversation, but it's once you start reading it, you remember, oh yeah, I remember talking about this. Yeah. It's not like a memory that you hold on to. Yeah. What age was he? Eight.

Let's say eight. Yeah. So Great Forest years? Yeah. When he was still in the forest. And it is about what? What do you think? I'm just asking my mom about her mom. Oh, classic. Oh. Classic kid question. Yeah. Yeah. Mom, do you have a mom? Of course I have a mom, sweetheart. Ileana. Cool. She was. Right. Cool. Cool. She died a long time ago, long before you were born, long before I met your father. But she was an intelligent woman. She taught me everything I know. And I miss her very much.

That's sad. It is sad. What was her name? Her name was Eloise. Hmm. And what was her last name? Ving. Ving asked his mom what was her last name? I mean, if you're allowing me to dictate this conversation, I would love to ask that. Do you think an eight year old would ask what was her last name? Hmm. Is Ileana, is she born on Hibernia? I forget. Or is she born in the north? So we actually don't like. Did we say? Like Paul and I know. Oh. Oh. But we don't know.

But like we know that Ileana was a wizard. Oh. We know that Ileana was a wizard. No, wait, we do know this. We know she was a wizard. We know Ileana was a wizard. Yeah. And she hid out with the druids. Right. Yeah. And became a druid culturally using her magic to emulate their beliefs. And we very strongly suspect that it's Adonack Allwater. Mm-hmm. Just based on the fact that he, like all of the shit in her tower reacted to him. Yeah. And not to any of the rest of us.

But you're still getting, so what should I be? You are in the right section I think is what you're learning is this is like you are in like your eight year old zone, that's the information. Yeah. If you wanted more information, you might need to go back. Mm-hmm. To when you were younger, maybe to before you were born even. Okay. Yeah. I'll keep going back I guess. Yeah. You have, we'll cut back to Tuck while we go through these questions. Okay. Alone, surrounded by books. My greatest enemies.

The archivist is just standing in front of you. Okay, what do I need? What do I need? I need to know my first, my first. I know what my first pet is. Why couldn't that be the one that I got? It's a dog. It would have been the easiest fucking thing in the world. But no, it's gotta be the fucking street I grew up on. Huh? Well, you know what? These questions are fucking racist. Against people who can't remember where the most of the shit from their childhood. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And he's screaming at the little girl. Yeah. It's like, have you ever, did you ever fucking consider that? That some people, their first memory is like when they're eight years old and in some weird, like, sorcerer's office? It shakes his head. Did you even think that there might be differently abled people trying to do this? It nods. Okay. Fuck. What do I need? I need information about me. Me. Okay. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I need more information. I need more information about myself.

No, no, no. I need to give you more information. I need to give you more information about myself. Go ahead and roll a 2d6 plus intelligence for Spout Lore. Fount of knowledge, because nobody else knows this. Six. Six. Shit. Oh, man. Just flat six? Yeah. Oh, wait. Why flat six? Because fount of knowledge. Oh, no. That information is here. Oh, but nobody else knows it. You're where people know this. No people are here. There's just a little glass here. There's just a little glass. Fuck. Okay.

You know what? You talked me into it. You still fail. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Very thank you. I can aid from a distance. Man. I hear echoes of talk and I can tell he's mad. Fuck. Yeah. Go like, oh, fuck. This sucks. Just want to send him good vibes. Oh, my God. I know you're 12. Yeah. 13, I mean. Jesus Christ. You could fully block this. No. Hey, you know what? I think you're not. I don't think you're wrong in that it is a nobody. Yeah.

As long as we're not considering the golem a nobody, because all of the information is here. So it still counts, but no one else in the world knows this info. Yeah. Well, it doesn't really matter. You get a seven to nine from Billy giving you good vibes. Yeah. Say, I know this is your worst nightmare, but be strong. You see Tuck whipping along above you. Be strong, Tuck. I'm going the other way. Whoa. Whoa.

The thing that happened was Tuck was, when he was going to the bathroom, he was like, I'm going to the bathroom. I'm going to the bathroom. He was like, I need more. I need to give you more specific information. The walkway is not wide enough for Tuck, so only one of his feet was on it. And then it pulled and slammed him into a split and then started dragging him by one leg. And then he's screeching along the glass. Whoa.

But Billy gives you the support, the luck of the fair folk from all the way down here. Yeah. And you are able to stay attached to the walkway. Yeah. And you went past Ving. Shit. I grab, when I see Ving, I grab onto one of the shelves. Oh, you're trying to stop with Ving? Oh, Ving. And the walkway so powerfully moves underneath you that it pulls your hand free of the shelf and you are dragged along. Billy, you see- What the hell was that? Ving's basically going like, what?

He takes his headphones off. Oh, what? Was somebody there? Was that them? Yeah. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Billy, we cut back to you and you're in the shelves just kind of wandering around. Can't read anything. Yeah. Yeah. Well, if it's about me, it's about like, is it about like ferry me? I'm just having a chat with myself. I say that out loud. I'm just having a chat with myself.

Like what part of me is here? Maybe if I, no one's around, I could go into the shadow world maybe. Oh shit. Oh. Sick. Ooh. Yeah. I think I'll shadow dance. Wow. Okay. Very interesting. I will use my last ferry child for this. Okay. Get an eight. So that means I can leave my body and enter the ferry as my pure essence and take one hold. Okay. So you get one hold. Okay.

You enter the ferry in this wizard tower, which we've done before and everything is like sort of luminously represented in the ferry because the power is like reflecting through. Oh, cool. Like the other magic. Yeah. Yeah. Cause that's what it was like in, in all waters tower, right? Like you saw all this stuff, like the power was what you saw. Right. And you see that power held in all of the shards that are kept in this archive. Can I say what I see? Yes, please do. Okay.

So yeah, it's very bright in here, but I see what wasn't showing up on like the glass plates before, which is like that old ferry language. Yeah. Cool. It's been transcribing that as well. Yeah. Ooh, I like that. So now I can read it. Yeah. There are plates that are now covered in, in very runic language. The ancient writing of the fairies.

Is it like there's like regular language and then over top of it is all the conversations that fairies were having at the same time in the same room as these people. Cool. This is a very powerful array. Oh yeah. Yeah. This is a central piece of the infrastructure of the entire world. Cool. Yeah. I have to take out some pains at the same time to read it all like a puzzle. Oh yeah. Like you stack them up and look down through them. I like that. That's how I do it. That's cool.

It gives you almost like a cube that you can like instinctually look through and see a picture of. Yeah. Actually, if you stand on the end of the bookshelf, you can see through and see like all of the fairy. Oh. Yeah. Cause the shelves are glass too. Yeah. So actually that's how I do it. Okay. Yeah. You rolled a failure earlier. Yep. And we've been seeing this thing for like a year. So you're seeing this thing creeping in the shadows. Yes. You are now in the fairy. Yeah.

And I think you can see it more clearly. Uh oh. What do I see? Could be, oh, maybe it's the fairy archivist. Oh. Oh, cool. Yeah. So what does a fairy archivist look like? That means, it means that they're bound to something that's here. The rock, the mountain? Could be the mountain. Yeah. Could definitely be the mountain. So it was, yeah, the shadow that we were seeing was something moving in the fairy. It wasn't that it was in the shadows, it's that it was being seen as a shadow. Cool.

And it looks, I'm imagining like, you know, little old man kind of fairy, like a cane. With a cart? Oh yeah, he's like dragging like books around or like the shards in a little hand cart. Yeah. Like the old guy from Shawshank Redemption, the old librarian. Oh, he's got the like squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. Little book cart. Yeah. Kind of like a hunched old man that looks like the granite of the mountain. Yeah. The bend of his back echoes the shape of the mountain above. Oh, totally.

Yeah. And he's like, hi there, young fella. Hi. It's been a while since I've had another fairy in the archive. Is there anything I can help you look for? I mean, yeah, I'm trying to, I'm trying to figure out if I ever, well one, if I ever had a pet and what its name was. And the library sent me here, so it must've been a long time ago. Oh yeah. This is the section for things that were gathered from before the construction. Before the construction of the tower. Oh. Cool. Whoa, that's cool.

Yeah, it's pretty cool. Sometimes, I mean, you know, you're a fairy. The oldest stories are the ones that are told, not the ones that are written down. So all these stories were told by me. By you? That's right. Well, hey, do you remember? And he kind of like closes an eye and sticks his tongue out. I'm Billy. Fat Billy. I'm Billy. I'm Billy. I'm Billy. I'm Billy. I'm Billy. I'm Billy. I'm Billy. I'm Billy. I'm Billy. I'm Billy. I'm Billy. I'm Billy. I'm Billy. I'm Billy. I'm Billy. Billy.

Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Up having creeping around in the shadows that was your failure ended up being a very helpful little fairy. So you're getting off easy. You're my wife. That's not why. It's just cooler. Something bad will happen. Something bad will happen. You know what? To you.

You know the bad thing that happens is we cut back to the beach and we see coming down the water on the back of two orcas. Black Spire. A black and white obsidian dragon who lands on the beach and goes Thanks a lot ladies. Thanks for the ride. See you later. And they're like see you later Black Spire. Don't forget to call sweetheart. You're the sweetest little dragon I ever let ride on my back across an entire enchanted ocean. Oh grandma stop. Stop. It's so nice. Anyway see you later.

Gotta go meet my friends. They told me to meet them right here. And he turns around. And he like goes and he noses his head through the hole that Heather and Jan used to be in. And then we cut back to the archive. That's the failure. You missed him. You son of a bitch Sean. The camera pans up and then like aerial view zooms down on that town and Wind River is arming a militia to go back. Oh the pitchfork hands. Oh no. Everyone's got pitchfork hands. Dipping their pitchfork hands in broken glass.

Bandages over their eyes. Hey coming out of their clothes. And then Wind River's like we're gonna sneak up and pretend to be scarecrows. We're gonna kill that dragon. That dragon. That's what I said. They know about it. No they don't. I'm joking. Big eyes. Yeah so the archivist is looking at your face. What'd you get? You got a nine? Yep. Spring fairy of the endless boughs. I think this is what I looked like. It's pretty close if I remember correctly. Lot more human clothing than I remember.

You were more rooted into the ground when I met you. Oh I was. Yeah. Well what do you need to know? What was my first pet and what was their name? Okay one second. First pet. First pet. And he's kind of like walking through. No not first. Okay. First kiss. Nope. First date. Nope. I had a kiss? I had a date? We cut back to that and it's you see a pumpkin pie. And we cut back to the present. We smash cut back to the present. Every now and then I fall apart. He goes oh alright. First pet.

And he pulls out the with the fairy sigil writing on it. And he kind of shakily hands it over to you. What is it? Oh. What's the cute thought? That it was a bird that fell out of a nest too soon when he was still a trot. That's what it is. Tell me about this memory. It is a baby bird that fell out of its nest too soon. It was a hummingbird. It couldn't fly yet. Um. Stay warm. So I would curl my oak leaves around it to create like a little a little nest for it.

And its mom fed it for a while but she stopped coming by. And so um. Billy is pulling from his roots like I was saving this for later but he starts like pumping sugar water down like outside of him for the the bird to sip up. Yeah. That's so cute. Yeah. Did this bird have a name? Many wings. I don't know. I think a long name would be cool. Kind of like a dragon name if you can think of one. Oh sure. Yeah. Yeah.

It's something like many wings buffet the petals of the magnolia or something like that. What the hell? Something like this beautiful phrase. You know what I mean? Alright. Can you repeat that? Many wings buffet the petals of the magnolia. Thank you. Did that help? That was amazing. Alright. Give it back. Okay. Gotta make sure it gets where it's supposed to be. This looks fun. Look at all that. Stuff about me that I don't remember. That's all here.

Well all the stories that I told about all the fairies. I wish I could stay. Oh. We'll cut back to Ving. You're digging through the art. You found this early conversation you had with your mom. She was kind of evasive about her family history. Yeah. And that told you that if you wanted to learn some information about your mom that you might need to go to a conversation of her speaking with someone else. Potentially. But about you. Likely.

How I was imagining it and how I think Ving would if he knows that he's in his personal information section is like I need to find a conversation where my mom is talking about me to someone else so I can get the information about her. You know what I mean? Okay. I was thinking of maybe trying thing talker. I see the spirits in the sand, the sea, and the stone and I can apply the spirit tongue to inanimate natural objects or creatures. Creatures made thereof. Yep.

You could just check the records themselves. Yeah, that's what I was thinking because they're made from the stone of the mountain. Yeah. That's a cool idea. See what they have to say. Yes. Yeah, so you do have two more discern realities questions to spend and that you can definitely talk to the, you can try to talk to the archives instead of searching through yourselves. Yeah. Because that would, yeah, that would kind of narrow things down quicker potentially.

What should I be on the lookout for? That's my next question. So an earlier section, you kind of go back, you're digging through and you're reaching out to the different shards and you're hearing the voices of the people that had the conversations. You hear your own voice at seven, at six, at five, at four, at three, probably not at two, more babbling, some like high shrill crying, gentle comforting cooing, little light baby snores, you know that kind of stuff. Yeah.

One time you did say the n-word though. By accident. You cannot do that fool. It's a safe space. You don't get to dictate that. You can't do that. What I do is the GM. Yes. It happens. Oh my God. Oh, so this is the revenge for the time you smacked me on the ass really hard. You made me a racist? Because I'm a sexist? Yeah. You hear your father's voice. It's painful to hear. Yeah. It's comforting and painful to hear his voice again. Yeah.

And I think it is the conversation where he knows that your mother is pregnant. And it's funny because you're almost ready to be born, but also in a kind of like an easy bake oven sense, you're almost done. You know what I mean? You are a creation in a way. And they're having this conversation. You hear Dathaniel, the younger Dathaniel that you saw in the vision at the heart tree, the not so much gray in his hair and beard saying I'm not going to let anything happen to you or him. I swear.

And you hear your mother say if they find out who I am and what I am me and Ving we're both in danger. And you hear like the movement of someone getting close and being held. Like you can hear the sound of the situation, like the thing happening like a door smashing open far away. Yeah. Someone being held close and voices in the distance and Dathaniel saying they're here Adernac. You have to go now. Oh, yes. Oh, okay. Pulled out. Yeah. Tuck. Yeah. Full just like rug burns.

Just like wrote right on the glass squeaking along stretching it out. Yeah. It's like it's like back to your knee. It's back to the extended knee. It's been stretched that far. And then I got me needing my collagen. And then it's the walkway stops. You lift up and it goes twang back to put it back in the place. Oh my God. You slowly get to your feet. He's walking super wide legs. Oh, yeah. Getting so rubbed together when we're climbing up. Yeah. It's been pretty brutal for my boss.

He like takes a deep breath and then both of you hear from where you are. The glass shimmering shocked back into my human form right out of the shadow world. I wasn't done. And then he yells, this place is not accessible. But you're here in a section presumably containing your personal information. Okay. And you also suddenly remember you've been hiding it all this time. You can't read either. I can read. Chuck is totally illiterate.

Chuck says that he feels like the shelves of books are judging him. He's being judged by a hall of information. And then he goes, I can read books. Look at this. And then he pulls a random one out and goes, can't wait to jack off today when I get back to the dumpster I live at. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, I remember that conversation. And you pull out another one and it says, I can't wait to jack off later when I get back to the dumpster that I live in. Like, oh, this is okay. Wait, never mind.

I might not actually know where I am. I think I'm in the puberty section. And then Tuck walks. He's like, I'll walk down to the section for my twenties. And then he pulls a box off and he takes one out. I can't wait to jack off later when I get to the one bedroom apartment I live in. Huh. This is not right. He puts it back. He walks back further. He walks down further. Pulls out one. I can't wait to jack off when I get back to hither and yon tonight. Oh, that was from yesterday.

Well, this is new. This is brand new. I just said this. I just said this. I just said, what the fuck? He's like, I guess I talk to myself out loud a lot. It appears on the thing. Jesus Christ. Hatched into the glass. Okay, I don't want to read that one. I should go look for the thing I'm looking for. I should go look for the old thing. So he goes back to, I guess, where he dropped him off. Yeah, discern realities. Okay. Plus, what is that plus? Wisdom. Oh, it's a nine. Oh, I can aid. How?

I just have a nine. Luck of the fair folk. And you heard me scream about my balls earlier. I did. That's true. So that and that doesn't cost you a point or anything. Nope. God damn. What a bad idea. Cool. You gave it to me. I did. I thought it was cool at the time and it is cool. Two to six plus bond. Three. Okay, dude. I get it. Seven to nine. Still a failure. Cool, Billy. Billy, you like get back on the walkway and you're like home and it doesn't move. You're like to tuck and it doesn't move.

Okay, let me figure this out. Do I have to walk? Doesn't move. Walk, walk, walk, walk. We'll come back to talk while he completes this. Ready. Some questions. Okay. So I know I'm I can't remember. I can't remember anything. I need to know this. What here is useful or valuable to me? Yeah. So tuck goes back to like you're kind of like you're quickly glancing at the sheets and looking for conversations from when you were. What was it? Eight, seven. I'm trying to find before. No, I know.

But like when did the when was the when did the memory start again? Eight. So you just said he was a he didn't know how old he was. Okay, then. Oh, yeah. I think this archive is especially confusing to tuck because you can't place anything accurately. You can kind of remember periods in your life, but not like tuck doesn't even know how old he is now. No, he knows that he's probably somewhere in his 20s. But that has always that has been a best guess as well.

Yeah, you of course because you get the question. Do you find the answer that you're looking for? You find the name of the street that you grew up on, right? I'm asking you or is it not here? Do the do the recorded conversations start from when you remember things starting? Is it maybe that this information is in someone else's section? Yeah, that I think is the thing you are in the section for to home a dome and that section starts when you are eight years old.

Oh, so you're someone before that. Yes. Well, the thought I had yesterday when he said that somebody else wasn't implanted something tech. Yeah, he like he goes back to the first one before it like flips over to another guy and he goes to the other guy and it goes it's it's a death bed thing. It's the end of the other guy's life. I just want everybody to know that my gold is buried. Oh, I'm this guy's final words. He just whips it into the distance useless shit piece of crap.

And I think the conversation that you see the first what I pull out. Yeah is tuck in the iconographer talking. Yeah. Okay. So it will say the iconographer's name. What is the iconographer's name? I like the idea that it's like a really nice name like Habibi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know that's a term of endearment. Is that like a name doesn't name? Okay, Habibi. Yeah, is that his first name or last name? First name first name?

Yeah, and I think in the context of text life, he did not know his last name. Sure. So but this would record his last name which would be we also don't it could just be Habibi and it's it's like unless you got something cool and juicy for us. What could be a cool and juicy lot? Oh, man. You can. Yeah. Came. Yeah. Yeah. It says Where am I Tacoma dome. It's okay. You're safe. Dan Der glaude. That's it. I'm deleting the podcast. Margani? Oh. Oh my God. No way.

Like one other member of the Margani family? Yeah. The Bibi Margani? Yeah. I think it's cool as fuck. All right. If you're cool with it, your backstory, baby. It's a family of researchers, basically, and academics. Oh, maybe because of what he does, he's not exiled, but he's a disowned member of the family. Yeah. But he still has access to their type of knowledge gathering. Yeah. Yeah. Because iconography itself is heretical, like in McCall. So it's really dangerous to do it.

Study the icons, study the demons, because it's seen as almost like a public health danger. Sure, yeah. Because you're exposing the public to demons and shit, and then everyone sings the tolling every night and is reminded by the Ifrit that take their kids away. Yeah. So people, I fucking hate the iconography. Everybody sings it every night? No, like- The kids, people hear it often. People, you hear it every night. If you live in McCall, it's like the Muslim call to prayer.

If you live in a Muslim city, you hear it. Interesting. And it's like, it is sung at some point in the night every night. Yeah. So that is the shard that you pull. It says like, Tacoma Dome. Yeah. Where am I? Habibi Margani, you're safe. Should we do the convo? Yeah, we can do that. We're improvising it. We're improvising it. How much information is he giving away here? None, I would assume. He did all of this. Tuck doesn't know this. Tuck doesn't know. Yeah. Teeth to tail. Yeah. Teeth to tail.

Whoa, look at this. That's a great face. Whoa, whoa, whoa. How did I get here? I brought you here. What? Why am I chained up? It's okay. Sound of shackles being unlocked. You're free to go now. My wrist hurts. It's okay. I'm sorry. Why did you do this? I wanted to help you. And I wanted to be able to help the rest of them as well. And now I think I can. Thank you. Who am I? You get to decide that now. Can I leave, please? Of course. And before that, nothing. Stupid fucking shit. Stupid bullshit.

Ugh. Useless fucking thing. Cut back to Billy. You've been dragged back to your body. You were in the middle of a conversation with this fairy archivist. Where? Hey. Library guy. I'm still here if you want to talk to me. You see shadows kind of being cast on the shelves like tink, tink, tink, tink, tink as the shards move. Okay. I'm going to take that as… That's cool. That's cool. And you like that. And I'll come back later.

And as you're like turning to walk back to the walkway, you see sitting on the ground like a little thin, very, very thin granite like business card almost. For me? Tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink. And it has etched in a fairy sigil, the archivist. I don't know what to do with that, but I will keep that for later. We'll cut back to Ving real quick. You got one more question, I think. Mm-hmm. You have just learned a fairly big piece of information. Yeah. Yeah.

Adderneck Allwater was your mom. Yes. Also, what was? Ticano, my dog. There was a lot of information. That was really cool, by the way. That was really cool. Dang. Yeah. What here is not what it appears to be. Mm-hmm. What this part is, is kind of like control F Ving. And then it's like everything that references Ving is in this section. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Exactly.

Looking for other references to your name. And I think you find another conversation between Dathaniel and Ileana. I'm trying to remember the timeline here. You were a young kid when she had to flee, correct? Yeah. Yeah. He was a child when they fled the forest. Yes. Like he was pulled out of elementary school, basically. Mm-hmm. So you're going through all of these sections.

You found this stuff about Adternack Allwater And then you go like forwards again Into that section of your life Just kind of almost by Instinct because it was such a like Formative Traumatic period of your existence You're just kind of scanning Through that part And you find a conversation between your mom and Nathaniel I like that maybe I'm Dragging my fingers along And they're like But then there's one that's like Oh like a dead spot There's a dead spot So I pull that deafened Dissonant ring Totally And it is Nathaniel and Ileana Hushed voices Is the impression you're getting from the writing here And Nathaniel says I don't know how they found out But the council knows They're coming for you I think it was Solara She gave you up She's turned the council against the wizards The forest is going to war They found out where you're hiding They found out I didn't kill you They're sending me And I have to do it this time And Ileana says Fing's safe And if someone has to do it I want it to be you I'll be back So do what you must And that's the end of that conversation So that was He gave her a heads up That they were going to raid And that he would have to kill her That's the idea that you get from this Fing Is that Nathaniel and Ileana knew this was happening And that her death At his hand was calculated Like and it was Sort of a thing to protect Fing Or a thing to Throw them off Who knows Just to throw them off the scent maybe Which I think could be ultimately to protect Fing Yeah Yeah It recontextualizes the fight to Like Stop Don't You love me It gives it a layer of depth Cause it's just like He was having second thoughts Like the stoic elf Like he was just like No Oh like he He was like That was him in the moment Deciding I'm not gonna do this I can't do this And then that's why he tried to suicide by Elephant seal Yeah yeah yeah Why Stone I tried to kill him And he was like Okay Yeah Okay yeah Actually yeah okay He tried to pull back on it He was trying to back out And she wouldn't let him Cause she was like No we have to do this This is the hard thing that we have to do Yeah Yeah Sweet That's really cool And uh Yeah I mean you could spend An eternity going through This section to learn as much about yourself as you want But you think that you've You've definitely got the information That you need to get through that door Oof And just step backwards Back onto the Walkway Yep Phew Starts dragging you along Billy you're like standing on the walkway Going go Home And you see Ving Zip past above you What?

Help I jump off Uh Okay Alright Defy danger and dexterity Uh I got Nine Okay yeah Seven and nine Uh You take damage When you When you hit the ground I think it's like you You You like jump off And they're pretty narrow little walkways Uh huh And you see Billy's below you And you try to reach out But the way that it was moving And the orientation The glimmering of the glass You don't see the edge Where the edge actually is And you realize I'm gonna miss it What do you do?

Yeah aid I see him like step onto Off a weird I don't know I'm just like That's not the place to go Did he just respond? Ten Okay yeah And you see him like step onto And you Uh Like Somehow help Ving land properly How do you do it?

I I don't know I feel uh It almost feels like the librarian Helped me a bit Oh Yeah The archivist kinda helps And then Ving lands on your walkway And then You guys start going back to It wouldn't go for me This is stupid I hate this thing I hate it Billy not realizing that the walkway Started moving like half a second Before Ving landed And then Billy's like What the fuck? No Uh and Tuck you hear Me Me Me For what?

From Billy and Ving We go off into the distance You've Got The answer To the Situation But not to the question Yeah so Tuck Uh Stupid fucking Archive Useless piece of shit And he takes He just takes his hand And he like Walks down the aisle That is his life And he brings it to him And he pushes Every single Transcript of his entire existence Off the shelf Whoa And every Reference Every conversation Every communicated idea Related The life of Tacoma Dome Shatters To dust And you step back onto the walkway And you zip back to the entrance Okay And I think that's where we're gonna end it for this week I'm your game master Sean O'Hara Joining me Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz Bye Bye Bye!

Take care That Billy the Halfling Thief Just could die That's so sad Thank you to all of our supporters around the world If you want us to support the show And why wouldn't you When we're bringing you the emotional highs like this You can join us at Patreon.com Slash Spoutlore Or Spoutlore.com Slash Money Please And get access to so much So much bonus stuff You're gonna love it Thank you to Aaron Reed For our intro and outro music Listen to all of Aaron's original music At Aaron Reed Dot Bandcamp.com And all of the Original music produced for the show At Spotify And thank you finally And most of all To all of you For listening We'll see you next time And so ends the tale of adventures three Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey May be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore There's a ton of work to be done

Uh, hi there, listener. It's your Game Master Sean O'Hara here, joined by Abdulaziz. Hey, listener. Great to see you. And we are here to tell you about Speltlore's Summer of YouTube. Did you know that the episode that you're listening to right now has a video episode as well? Yeah, that's right. That video episode is live right now on YouTube. And if you go and watch that episode over on YouTube instead of over here, then it actually helps us con YouTube.

Yeah, we're trying to trick the algorithm into showing Speltlore to as many people as possible, just like we tricked Apple Podcasts when we launched Mall Brats, and you helped us get to number one in comedy podcasts in Canada. I guess in a lot of ways, it's not really a trick. It's just our amazing community coming together to support us, which we so appreciate. So if you go to our YouTube page right now and subscribe, like, comment, share, and do the surveys at the end.

That will help Speltlore grow. Yeah. And if you're going to listen to the episode anyway, might as well just click the link, go to this exact same episode over on YouTube, take a gander at our faces every once in a while while you're listening to it, and help us find new audiences, new cool people like you who like TTRPGs, who like comedy. And if we get 1,500 YouTube subscribers, we're going to release for free the video episodes of our first Up All Night playtest in which we play…

Kids on Bikes and a Special Christmassy Adventure. Do you want to hear fictionalized versions of us murder Santa Claus? Don't spoil it. And if we get to 3,000 new subscribers, we're going to release episode two of our Up All Night playtest in which we play Bump in the Dark by Last Pine Press, but set in the 1970s. Yeah. Do you want to hear fictionalized versions of us kill the Easter Bunny? Don't spoil it. So if that sounds like something you want, head over to our YouTube page and enjoy.

Five whole bonus episodes of us murdering beloved holiday mascots. So if that sounds like the kind of thing that interests you, check out the link in the show notes, head over to YouTube, like, subscribe, share, comment, watch, enjoy, and we'll see you next time. Get out of here, St. Peter. Or I'll fucking… Shoot you in the brain. Bang, bang, bang. Ha, ha, ha. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old.

You know them by name, you know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts.

So gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Ah. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hi. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes, battle was joined.

Colm Blackhammer, one half of the Blackhammer twins, possessor of the icon of slaughter, had arrived, sword in hand, armor shattered, and Tuck got in the mix immediately. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And almost instantly was mortally wounded. I immediately took 11 points of damage. Yeah. Which was one point more than I had to take. And one more point than Colm was capable of dealing to you. I self-owned. You did kind of self-own.

Trying to overcome the armor bypassing, super demonic sharpness of the blade. Yeah. Billy, meanwhile, inside, transplanted the mechanical heart of M4. Into Project Anvil, the towering war machine. While Ving joined the battle, defending Tuck as best he can. Some failures caused the demon of servitude contained within the coins in Tuck's chest to take full control of Tuck's body. Pretty scary. Pretty fucked up. Yeah. Wielding Colm's own sword against his best friend and lover? Co-parent? Yeah.

Lover? Lover? I love that tone. Husband? Yeah. Billy attacked Colm using Larry, Terry, and Chad after leaving the heart to do its thing. Yeah. Did way more damage than Tuck. Oh, yeah. So much more. Fucking. Literally, immediately dead. Yeah. Kicked the shit out of Colm. Yeah. Oh, sorry. I meant I became dead. And then after that was left with literally one hit point. Yeah. It was very close. It was a close fight. Yeah. I mean, I'm fine.

Bing very smartly used his combat prowess to draw the rampaging Tuck demon away. Staying out of the fight and keeping Billy out of harm's way. Well, out of harm from being killed by Tuck, but still deeply in harm's way. You can tell by how much he was harmed. It was a lot. It was. What did we learn from the fight? Because the fight happened. The listeners, you've heard the fight. We don't have to go blow by blow. Yeah. So, Tuck pushed out of his own body into the void. In his mind.

By like, I guess, like the influences of the sword. Yeah. And the demon in the coins in his chest. Yeah. Fully just transplanted him into this void in his mind. Yeah. And heard the voices of the children of McCall singing the tolling. The old dirge for those lost on the streets. Yeah. Immediately freaked about it because he was just like, oh no, I'm dying. I'm going to die. Oh. Seeing these children on the periphery of his vision, but then seeing a door, the door that he had seen. Yeah.

Once long ago. The door to the iconographer's lab. Yeah. Remembering in this void that that doorway and that iconographer are his first known memories. Yeah. His known memories before that point. Mm-hmm. And I gave up also that all of the Bruce Bruce stuff was a lie. Yeah. Yeah. Everything that came before that doorway and those wrist straps. Yeah. Oof. Is a lie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. His full adult countenance in his mind took the ax in his mind from the icon of servitude in its true form and found himself momentarily well and truly in the outer dark. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. A sea of stars. Yeah. Smashing through that door, Tuck returned to his body and slowly gained recontrol over his form, saving himself from taking the head right off of Ving. Well, maybe not. Probably not. Probably not. Probably not. Probably not. I was about to do something.

I was about to do something for sure. I was going to get my finger in there. Blink it aside. Yeah. Just as the party reconvened and was just, again, getting the shit kicked out of them by Colm Blackhammer. Yeah. Billy was really fighting a little monster, basically. Yeah. Yeah. M4 now, A4, finally woke, slamming a giant mechanical hand down on Colm and receiving a benediction. A benediction. A very Eucharist-like offering from Ving. Saffron. Saffron. Freeing him from his iconic influence.

You received images and visions of the life of Colm and Callum Blackhammer as young men and the twisting of them through manipulation by the Gibbous Man into taking the icons of slaughter and for Callum, the icon of tyranny. Mm. And as a last wish, he begged you to save his brother, Callum. Yeah. Uh, and died. And that is where we find our heroes now, or we find them a bit past this, I think we discussed. Yeah. Yeah. I think that this situation was well and truly under control. Yeah.

What's anyone going to do against the gigantic 120-foot A4? Uh, so where do we find our heroes now? Immediately after Colm died, we heard a bunch of doors slamming as people ran out of there. Yeah. Yeah. Weapons scattering. Ignition starting cars driving away. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Fucking move. Run, run. Do I get the doors not open? New resumes being printed off somewhere else. Yeah. What happened to Mears? I don't know. That's- Oh, yeah. We don't know. That's the thing.

You guys go back or- Yeah. We would go back immediately. I think so. Yeah. You know what? That is what happens. I think we went back. We followed all these people who were working in here- Yeah. And ran back to the room where that closet was. Yeah. So what do you tell A4 before you leave? Wait. Okay. All right. We'll wait. And it's so- Whoa. Dude. Fuck. Wow. Yeah. The end of that is quieter than the beginning as he realizes how loud he is now.

And yeah, you run back to the office of Colin Blackhammer and his war council room as there's like people scattering all over the place. Yeah. They don't care about us anymore. They're looting. Oh, yeah. Nice. Shuffling a bunch of like pencils and staplers. There's a lot of people who are forced to work here for sure. Yeah. Oh, man. The lunchroom is empty now. Yeah. Totally. A guy's running with a giant bucket of coleslaw. I got the coleslaw. Yeah.

You guys are running down the hallway and a guy skids in front of you holding a giant bucket of coleslaw and he just stares at you. You can have it. And he keeps running. Don't forget that we spared you today. There's a trail of coleslaw leading away from him. And there's that. It's that vibe where like there's papers and shit scattered all over the ground and just like a whoa, whoa. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like that. And every once in a while you see someone run down a hallway. Yeah. Effie is.

Effie is following you. Okay. Yeah. She's got a couple bruises. She's got like, you know, a busted lip and she looks like she's not having a very good time. She really fucked up Colin Blackhammer. That's kind of a big deal. Oh, she gives a thumbs up. Great. I'm going to go back to that hotel that you all live in. That's okay. Yeah. You should come with us. Okay. You did a great job. Thanks. You're on a vacation. And you get back to the hotel.

You get back to the door and it's kind of like hanging off of. Oh, he like ripped it out of the wall. He like knocked it. Like one of the hinges is busted and it's just kind of hanging there. What? The door is open. You don't see anybody. Oh, my God. And you walk in. It's quiet. There's like shit kind of messed around. And then a figure dives at you from behind like the alcove, like around the wall where the like the sitting room is. I kick it in the chest. Oh, my God.

You don't have to roll for the wall. You don't have to roll for the wall. You don't have to roll for the wall. You don't have to roll for the wall. You don't have to roll for this. You hear. Ah! Fulk! It slammed into a bookshelf. Mirrors? And it's mirrors. Oh, my God. Are you okay? I thought he died. Oh, no. I just. He. Wait, what happened to Colm? Where's that guy? Where's that guy? And he gets up. He's got his sword. It's okay. Flash forward. He's pouring some soup. Wow.

I can't believe you defeated Colm Blackhammer in that fashion. We shouldn't stay here, though. No. His brother's still alive. And he's going to hear about this. Yeah. How did you get away from him? I gave him the sword. What? He asked for it. And I felt myself give it to him. Like you were compelled to? I didn't want to. I knew I wasn't supposed to. But he just walked in. And he knocked the door off its hinges. He couldn't come in. And he, like, pats the bar.

Hither and Yon knows how to protect people from those with I'll intent. But he just looked at me. And he said, that doesn't belong to you. And then I just went. And I got it. And I gave it back to him. Whoa. Sword is so powerful. Yeah. What did we do? The camera cuts to it under a pile of papers on the catwalk where it skittered out of Colm's hand. Oh, fuck. Why do we always forget to take stuff with us? I want to commune with A4 and tell him to pick up that sword. He picks up a little.

He's trying to. Like trying to pick up a toothpick. His fingers are stuck. His fingers are stuck. His fingers are stuck. His fingers are stuck. His fingers are stuck. So big. He's honestly like, yeah, like, okay. Can do. He's doing this. He licks his finger. No, he's like, he can't seem to pick it up. And he's just like, he's trying to get a fingernail underneath it. Fuck. Fuck. It's so small. The blade is flat against the ground. I can't get purchase. I just cut my nails. Yeah.

And then we hear him get frustrated and hear a giant honking. I'm so big now. I'm too big. So if you guys want the sword, it is something that you could secure if you want that around. But Mears is like, I don't want that thing in hither and yon. I don't think it doesn't feel good to just leave it lying around for somebody else to pick it up. But we should destroy it. But I think Billy's right. We got to get out of here fast. Well, someone's going to have to put like here.

And Mears like walks over to the door. And he's just going to like slap it back on basically. And that should be hopefully enough to get the place moving. Yeah. Should we tell A4 to meet us somewhere? Yeah. That's a good idea. Yeah. We're I mean, if you guys wanted something because I mean, A4 is not going to be able to hide. Well, he's definitely not going to be able to hide. And he is ascension thing. So he might have his own goals.

But I mean, like if you just wanted him to go to like High Spear. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. Yeah. It's kind of like an Iron Giant scenario where if you're like, go end the war. He might be like, I don't want to do that. Like, I don't want to just go crush a bunch of people. Yeah. I think we might just be like, A4, can you please go and find Perel and Morris and explain to them what you are? Okay. That's something Tuck would ask him. It feels like.

I will go to this giant city and walk inside of it and explain. Explain myself to the people. Try and look friendly. Paint a happy face on your giant helm. Remember inside voice around people. Very well. When you show up, keep doing two thumbs up to indicate that you're good. Great. I understand diplomacy now. Two thumbs up. Smiley face. Two thumbs up. Smiley face. Nice as fuck. Yeah. I am nice as fuck. Yeah.

And then Tuck goes, if you find a thing to paint on yourself with, try and paint the words gift from Tuck, Ving, and Billy. It's not a bad idea. Should we just put that on there right now? Gift for High Spear from Tuck, Ving, and Billy. We see he starts to climb out of the silo and we see you guys moving away with a bucket of barbecue sauce. And we see gift from Tuck, Ving, and Billy painted on his. Just. In barbecue sauce. In barbecue sauce. And a smiley face on his giant metal head. All right.

Cool. And this enormous machine like smashes through a silo cover basically. I paint flames on his back because I think it looks cool. Yeah. Totally. Angel wings that are made out of fire. Wow. Yeah. That's super cool. Yeah. You can tell that you see that and you go, people are going to all think that's cool. Forever. Forever. Not just for 1998. The 2004. The 2004. That's always going to be sick. And he leaves. He is on his way to High Spear. What do we do with the sword? We went back in there.

We painted him with barbecue sauce. I think we grabbed the sword at least. The sword is there. Yeah. In Hither and Yon? No, no, no. In the chamber he was in. So we're all standing around the sword right now. Yes. Is there any way to encapsulate it so its influence doesn't affect us? Good Spout Lore maybe? I'm going to roll Spout Lore. It's a six. Oh, could we aid? How's Billy aiding? Billy is, you know, just, he's like, he's just reaching out to it and going, oh. I could try to touch it.

I mean, it touched me already. I have all these wounds. I was fine then. Plus bond. Eight. Okay. So that makes it a seven, which means something interesting, but not necessarily useful. So you think that this sword is clearly in some way containing a demon? Like there's a demonic influence. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Colm was not just a possessor of the icon of slaughter, but also the icon of honor.

And that that might have been what he utilized to get Mears to return the sword to him. That does not belong to you. Yeah. You have taken what is mine. Return it to me. Right. So he made Mears want to act honorably. Yeah. By giving a murderer a sword to kill us with. Hey, demons are demons, you know? It's an impulsion. They got the power. Didn't you grab some rope that is imbued in saffron? No, you have rope that's imbued in saffron. I just have these saffron candles. The candles.

That's what it was. Yeah. We could wrap it in like a- Saffron the handle. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. Oh, yeah. Saffron rope. Rope and some wax. Yeah. And then if we wanted to take it into Hither and Yon, we could wrap it in like cloth with saffron. Yeah. That's making a sheath that's soaked in saffron. Yeah. Burn the candles around it. Create like a kind of little containment shrine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. I think we should- We should take it. Okay.

I'll take the candles that I have and I'll like just goop them and then just goop them around the handle. So we can take your hands and mold and wax it. Yeah. And then grab it. So I imagine you guys like wrap the saffron rope around the handle, like drag it back to Hither and Yon. Yeah. At the end of the rope, like to tink, tink, to tink, tink, tink, tink. And then you are doing this containment ritual kind of to make the sword safe.

And Mears the whole time is like, pretty sure I said I didn't want it in here. I know. Pretty sure. Pretty sure I said. We can't leave it out there, man. Oh, sorry. I thought it was moving. Okay. So- Because I'm pulling on the rope going, hee hee. Billy's like under a table far away. Evil sword. But yeah, I think there's probably enough wax here that we could just melt it all over it and then surround it in it. Cool. Okay. And wrap it in the cloth that was dipped in saffron, like Billy said.

Yep. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Go to wherever it wants to go. Oh, wherever it wants to go. Yeah. It'll take us probably somewhere far away from here. Yeah. That's interesting. Where do we think it goes? Maybe, uh… Oh, what? We open up on a beach. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was thinking it would be somewhere peaceful. Yeah. That Hither and Yon is, like, enough of that. Yeah. All right.

So, the shutters slam shut. Yeah. Uh, Mears has, like, repaired the door enough that it is back on its hinges. Mm-hmm. And they open on a beautiful, sunny beach. It's a little overcast because the firefields is that kind of place where it's, like, not always bright blue skies. There's the black sands of this part of the continent. Mm-hmm. The waves rushing. You see in the distance the pillars of the Sea of Graves. And there's just a beautiful, peaceful beach here. What do you guys do?

Billy, he takes an umbrella out with him, and he lies out on the sand, and he's like, uh… Right. Billy has one hit point. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We're doing a rest, so there's no need for poultices, right? Yeah. Are you guys, you're spending a day resting? Yeah. Yes. Yes, 100%. So it is one day of rest doing nothing else to heal yourself back up to full. It's two days, or three days to heal a debility.

Yeah, Billy just, when he was at Crystal Bay, he heard a hippie talk about, like, the healing powers of the sand. So he's like, he's like, okay, if I just lay out here, everything will be okay. Yeah, and he's grabbing little fistfuls and going, ah. Billy, stop eating the sand. Don't eat the sand. I'm not. Billy. Billy. Billy, Billy, Billy. It's gonna give you a tummy ache. It tastes good. No. I mean. Are you turning it into food? It tastes good. I mean, I'm not. I mean, I'm not.

Are you turning it into food, or is it going in as sand? Because it's gonna come out as sand, bud. No. Yeah. And Mears comes out of, okay, Mears stands in front of the doorway of Hither and Yon and looks outside at all of you, like, Billy's like, Billy's laying on the beach and the sun is, like, kind of casting a nice diffused light through the gray clouds and he takes a deep breath and he steps through the door. Nope. And he turns around and goes back inside. But I'll make lunch.

And Tugley's in a vague, he's like, that kid has agoraphobia. No. He's definitely been in there way too long. He's been in there way, it's been in there, like, five years, I think. Can a room give somebody nightingale syndrome? And I think, yeah, I think what we're doing, what we've got here is, like, a resting for the day, thinking, planning, whatever you want to do until an actionable thing that you've decided comes along. Tug goes into the ocean and cleans his wounds.

Oh, salt water in the wounds. It's good for cleaning. It's gotta hurt so bad. Yeah, Billy sees Tug do that so he copies and it hurts so bad. He's crying, screaming and crying. He's just rubbing his forehead like, there's so much bacteria in the water, I'm gonna have to put poultices in their wounds when they go to sleep. Yeah, we're doing the wrong thing. Tug rubs a bunch of sand and dirt. Oh, God. I was gonna say, the hippies said this would do it faster. Oh, good.

It really hurts, but I think it's because it's like, you know, if it hurts, it's working. Yeah, if it hurts, it's working. Definitely opening the wounds further than they are. Sitting back and writing down things that, okay, sand in wounds. Okay, ocean water in wounds. It's exfoliating your skin, too. Yeah, so that you get new skin, which will heal up. Heal faster, yeah. The new skin underneath the wound is not injured. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. That's so smart, Tug. I know.

Why did I ever think of that? It's like peeling the black spot off a potato. Yeah. Like, you gotta go deep enough. Yeah. This is a hippie that's wandered off. Yeah, it's like healing a black, you know, potatoes? Yeah. When you're trying to, like, fucking peel potato and it's got a black spot on it, you gotta peel down to where it's not gross anymore. Excuse me, sir, please stop talking to my son. I'm not talking to your son, I'm talking to the Earth's son, bro. Yeah.

We're all the Earth's children, all right? Ving, Wind River says he's a druid. I am. I'm connected to the ways of the waters and the ways of the sands. Wind River. So, you guys said you were coming from where? Oh, um, we're, uh, on a study abroad trip. Oh, man. That sounds great. Where are you studying broads? Uh, from Macau. Whoa, you're all from Macau, like, across the Sea of Graves. Yeah. I don't even think you could do that. I had a buddy, his name was, uh, Tiber.

He, uh, was trying to do, like, a wakeboarding trip across the Sea of Graves. Totally got fucking eaten by a whale, man. Oh, that sucks. Oh. It's life, you know? I hope I get eaten by a whale. Fingers crossed, bro. Return to Mother Nature as she intended. It's the circle of life, man. I eat the seagrass, the whale eats me, the whale poops me out, and then I nourish the seagrass, man. Well, there's the sea. I see that. I hate this cave. Fucking hate this cave.

Whoa, what are you guys staying in that cave for? And you see, like, uh, Hither and Yon has, like, taken itself to a jumble of rocks that had, like, a rough wooden door, and you see etched into the stone above it, like, haphazardly, Hither and Yon. Uh, that's where we're staying. Oh. Gap year only, though. Yeah. Walk, come on, man. You can make some room for your old buddy Wind River, right? I don't know. We're pretty full up.

You guys cool if I take, like, a hot leak or something real quick, though? You got a bathroom in there probably, right? I feel like our GM can't really handle another NPC. I completely disagree. The world can bear the burdens that it creates, so. And then Billy's like, I don't know if I like this guy anymore. All right. Let's take a hot, let's take a hot leak in our bathroom. Yeah, I don't like that. Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like the hot leak.

What if I need to take a cold shit? Yeah. Anyways, I just kind of came up because someone mentioned there is a hippie here, so, like, whatever you guys want to do is cool with me. I need a couple bucks, by the way, if you guys got anything on you. Oh, shit. Do you have shit that you want to sell? Oh, brother, I am glad you asked. What are you looking for? We're wondering, do you, do you, do you know, like, the winewood vintage of wine?

Oh, oh, I see what you're trying to, no, absolutely, it's not something I would, what kind of stuff do you have? Like, what's in that cart you're dragging? What are you holding? In my cart? Yeah. Fucking great question, guys. What is in my cart? So, you're looking for some winewood? Don't got that. Okay. I actually, I abstain from the spirits crafted by man. I only partake of the herbs created by the Mother Earth.

So, I got some of that if you want, which he's got halfling pipe leaf and I got some healing tinctures of my own creation. Okay. Oh, those might not work. Yeah. Can I see those? What's in them? That was such a quick, I have some healing tinctures? Oh, of my own creation? Oh, those don't work. That is definitely Yeah, you want to take a look? Yeah, I would love to. Check it out, bro. I am a bit of a tincturist myself. I tinker and tinctures.

He takes the, oh, a feller tincture tincture and he takes the tarp off his cart and there's just a pile of shit. It's just a jumble. He's like, just sick. And he starts pulling stuff out of this pile. There's like boots and like sleeping bags and a pillow and swim trunks. So he lives in this cart. Okay. So this is just his house. Yeah. The world is my house. You know? Okay. I kind of like him again. And he pulls out like a handful of like little glass vials of various sizes. Here you go.

Check them out. Okay. Pop the lid. Yeah. Give him a little whiff. Yeah. Smells herbal. Yeah. Yeah. What's in these? Roll. Discern realities. No. Okay. 26 plus wisdom. 12. You get three questions off that list. What here is useful or valuable to me? Not these. That's for sure. This dude does not know what he is doing. He has clearly just like been taking herbs. Like you're sniffing and you're like, okay, smarty root. Familiar with that. Echinacea. Oh, interesting. Where'd he get that? Pine.

Like pine. This smells like dirt to me. This one smells like there's just dirt in it. Hmm. What should I be on the lookout for? He's got a bunch of stuff in this cart that if he doesn't know that these don't work, he might not understand something valuable he has here. So what is something that you find that you're like, oh. Oh, I mean, we're in the principalities. Yeah. You are on the, I would say you're south of Black Glass on the western coast of the firefields facing the Sea of Graves.

Maybe we roll a D6 and a six is Hibernia water, like a vial of Hibernia water. Hibernia water? Whoa. You got to roll a six on a flat check, one die. Okay, okay. Five to four is saffron, which is seeming, seems pretty common in the principalities. I like it. And one to three is some brochure for a liquor store. Totally. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Could just be mysterious teas that look fun. Mysterious teas. Yeah, mysterious herbs. There's probably towns nearby you'd have to do some walking around.

Here we go. Here we go. One. Fuck. We just got fucking tea from this guy. Well, you know, it looks like you're looking at Tuck and Billy who are absolutely fucked up. Yeah. You're like, you know what? They could use some soothing teas. Okay. That might be nice. Okay. I'll make them of my own. I will not serve them this. Oh, I see you're perusing my teas, bro. Yeah. One coin and they're yours. What? Oh, shit. Do we even have coins? Sorry, we don't have cash on us. The world is our coin.

Oh, I see. It's one of those situations and he puts the tart back over his cart. What, man? I thought the world was your oyster just like how it's our oyster. Yeah, but like the world is my home but not my fridge, you know? Like I got a bro's got to eat. And I'm willing to allow you to partake of these teas if you allow me to partake of your fine establishment. Yeah. One bowl of soup. You have to eat it. Bowl of soup? Done, bro. You have to eat it outside. You're not allowed in the building.

What? I had a guy come in my hut years ago. I couldn't get him out for months. Man, I just want to like sit down like in a plush chair, bro. You know, like I want to sit down in a plush chair. I want to like be in front of a fireplace and like, look, I'm going to be honest with you guys. I already kind of poked my head in, so I know what's going on in there. Fuck. And I just want to take a load off. Okay. Okay. Fine. We huddle first, though. Yeah. Okay, fine. So we huddle. Okay.

Well, I'm going to be totally honest with you guys. I've met a thousand of this guy at a music festival. His vibes are good for five minutes, and then the vibes turn sour. Yes. It's like centaur milk. It's only good for five minutes, and then it's rotten. The vibes turn rotten. As soon as the pipeweed starts wearing off, he's going to turn into the meanest person we've ever met. No. We let him in, or? Well, I don't think we could, like, hither and yon came here. It might have come for him.

I'm just saying it could get ugly. We might have to remove him forcibly, which I'm willing to do. I'm willing to do. I don't know, guys. I think we could trust him, really, if we really kind of… Yeah, why are you in the hot tub? Sorry, sorry. Give me some pipeweed. All right. That was already one point against you. Oh, fuck. No. How many points do I have? Two. Do they go up or down? They go down. Oh, no. All right. I think we do have to let him in. Fine.

Also, he has a little bit of harbunia water on him. Right. Okay, man. You can come in for lunch only. Hell yeah, brother. And then you have to leave. All right. And he drags his cart over to Hither and Yon and starts trying to put it through the door. You can't bring it in. What? But all my stuff. You don't need your stuff inside. This place will provide the universe. The universe. I see. All right. Cool. And he walks in and he… He sits in my favorite chair.

Yeah, he sits right in Billy's chair and he starts snapping. Garcon. Garcon, over here, please. Jesus Christ. Wow. Yeah, you can come up to the… You can come up to the bar in order, bro. This guy has trust fund kid vibes. Yeah. For sure. Oh, that's probably what's hiding under all the garbage in that cart. His trust fund. Yeah. So he did leave his cart outside. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We want to… Yeah. Try and find his trust fund. He does have one more question. I have one more. Oh, shit.

What about… Oh, what here's… No, what it appears to be. Oh. Yeah. Like he has a trust fund kid and there's a bunch of sunstone in his fucking cart. There's a bunch of bags of coins taped under the cart. Yeah. I mean, I bet he does have a coin purse in here, probably. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to rob him, I guess. Feels bad to… You guys straight up find a coin purse and it's like jangling with coins. Season one us would have taken this. We're heroes now. I did a lot of bad stuff earlier.

I don't want his stupid coins. Yeah. I don't feel like taking them. He's… What else here is not what it appears to be? Oh, you know what? You are digging around in… His… Like, herbal zone where it's just like a pile of like weird herbs. And Billy, you notice an herb that is blight leaf. Blight leaf? And it is a potent poison. I'm glad we didn't buy tea from him then. Mm-hmm. I like that it was in amongst the teas. Mm-hmm. We should get rid of this for his own safety. Yeah. For sure.

You should take that, Billy. Probably doesn't know what it is. Oh, Billy's taking the blight leaf? Yeah. I mean, yeah. He's gonna fucking die. He'll kill somebody. He started writing it down in her inventory. I like that. Wow. We should take that for his own good. For his own good. For his own good. In the middle of writing down blight leaf. Yeah. No, I was just gonna steal the hibernia water, which doesn't feel good, but I need it when he does. You know what?

I think you should take that for his own good. I also don't think he knows what he's dealing with with this. What if he drinks it? I don't know what happens. Might be poisonous to a guy that crusty. So here, you put that in one of your vials and I'll run down to the ocean and put just regular ocean water in it. Great. Yeah. Yeah, he won't know the difference. Yeah, he won't know the difference. One. Yeah. Great. Yeah, it's one tiny little vial of it.

And you can tell just by the glimmering crystal clarity of the water. Slightly blue hue even in the vial. Ooh, beautiful. Icy. And Tuck goes down to the ocean and fills the vial that it was in with just regular ocean water. Right. And then he drinks some ocean water because a hippie told him that was good for you. Do you like look around first? Big's writing it down in his notes of us. Okay, you're gonna have to desalinate Tuck.

Gonna have to put him under a tarp in the sun and let all the salt come out of him. He comes back, his lips are so cracked. Already. What's up, guys? The salt graves is extremely salty in this set. It's so salty. And this is the end of the episode. This is the end of the episode. This is the end of the episode. This is a day of rest. Do we cut? Do you want to cut for the day? Yeah, I'm gonna take his coins for his own good. Oh, man. You know what's easy to all of us? He would also take this.

This guy's getting robbed now. This guy's on his fourth bowl of lobster chowder. Yeah. And I'm like getting a little pissed. Oh, because he's going through the chowder pretty fast. Going through the chowder really fast. I'm trying to eat as fast as him, but you know, I don't feel that good with all my stab wounds I have. You have one hit point. I have one hit point. Billy, rub more sand in it. I'm trying, but… I'll rub sand in it. Puts the poultice on there. Roll. Are you robbing this guy?

Yeah. I like it. Roll. You know what? No, I did say it was a coin purse. Let me roll a d20. Absolutely not. How many coins? Please. So I don't really use the, or haven't for a long time used the Dungeon World loot table, but the first option is a few coins 2d8 or so. Okay. I feel like this guy's not carrying around a ton of coins. I don't have money, but you know, 2d8 worth of coins. 2d8. Okay, here we go. Six. Six coins. No kidding. Yep.

And are they, are they, do you think they're principalities coins or were they minted? Yeah, they're principalities. Yeah. They're Kenosian coins. Cool. Fresh from the mint. Oh, maybe the Kenosian coins have an image of the hand. The hand? Oh. Now as a symbol of like this fallen kingdom. Yeah. Great. So you rip this dude off. Yeah. And another thing we find that is not what it appears is we find his ID with his real name on it. He has a driver's license in the cart. Yeah. Yeah. It's his.

It's the little painted like a scroll full of down with his info. Uh-huh. It says, Jared Martin Ferryweather Masterly the Fourth. Oh. You think he's a masterly? Yes. He's the one that left. You didn't even roll for this, man. You just decided. It's world building, Sean. It's fucking taking my autonomy. It makes sense. He was snapping at the waiter. It was good. It was good. Because he was acting like a trustful. It's true. It's absolutely true. It's really fun.

He's like the youngest one that has no responsibility. And you guys know that you just absolutely obliterated a facility that his dad was at. And you've fought with one of presumably his older brother. Yeah. And you walk in and see him in a totally different light. Like, you know that this is a scion of a wealthy black glass family. So we could take it for all he's worth. Finally. Oh my God. The tables have turned. I must say this lobster chowder is quite delectable, bro. Oh, hello, my friends.

What's going on? I'm just kicking it back in this chair. You see his like gross, dirty bare feet are up on like the ottoman. Get your feet off there. Off the ottoman? Why? Because you are gross and this ottoman is not gross. Oh, okay. Look. All right. That's the kind of situation we're in. Fair enough. You have pretty clean cuticles for somebody who's been wandering. They're at the whole life. Yeah. And? And you sure know a lot about lobster chowder and how it's supposed to be prepared.

I feel like you might have discovered something about my backstory and are now questioning me in a new light. I don't know. I don't know. I thought you were like a son of the earth, but it seems like you might be the son of something else. Looks like your stories are going back and forth. And then Tuck and Billy. Wait, do you get that? I get it. Because masterly the fourth. Oh. It took Billy a second and he goes, no. And Ving's standing there with his hands on his hips like, look at the guys.

Like he's the fourth. Oh, he's the fourth. Oh, he's Lee Masterly. The guy that the the refinery guy. He's his son. Yeah. Yeah. I see. He's the he's like this. He's the fourth Lee Masterly. He's the fourth. Yeah. Yeah. Ivy. Yeah. Wow. So he takes a fat rip off his joint. You've discovered my backstory. It's true. I'm a son of the masterly family. Here you are. Taking from the poor. Oh, I have taken a voluntary vow of poverty. I will have, you know. OK. And I have wandered the world. Sure.

Maybe I have various accounts in various Byerfield's towns and can draw on an account given to me in trust. Yeah. When required. Sure. But besides that, I have taken a vow of poverty. So where did you take that vow? Just out of curiosity. Three or four days ago. Yeah. Why? Why? Maybe because my dad kicked me out. Maybe because I wanted to see the world. Maybe because I realized that the world is my trust. Is my. Is my dad. I guess. What did you do to get kicked out?

Oh, you know, I fucking I gripped and ripped it too hard and I was too gnarly and my dad couldn't get down with my steez. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I also crashed a motor carriage through his dining room during a key business meeting. But in his defense, in my defense, he left those keys unattended. Well, I can tell maybe it's time for me to hit the old dusty road.

So if you don't mind and he like picks up the bowl of chowder and chugs from it for a long time. So much. Yeah. It was full. Yeah. Sorry. But you're just watching him do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He did not clock how full it was. He wanted to make a swift and cool exit. Halfway through. Take a big breath. Well, big burp. Wipes his mouth with one of his dreadlocks.

And then wipes it on onto my chair. Kill this guy. Jessica is referencing a thing that someone did at our house one time that she still thinks about. The world is my napkin. Okay. The world, the mother nature is my napkin. Gaia is my, my butler. Okay. And he wipes all the chowder off his face and goes to the door. I guess if I'm not wanted, he looks at Bing and Billy. Everybody's, Jessica's kind of nodding. Yeah. No, you're not. Bing's playing with something on the table. Yeah.

We're all kind of like, bye. Okay. There's nothing we want to leverage out of this guy, right? I don't know. Yeah. What could we leverage? We could get some information. Obviously he doesn't like his dad. Yeah. We could use him to like get access to Gallum because we do have to. Oh. Yeah. We do have to save his life. Yeah. So he's like, well, I guess if I, yeah, I guess if you don't need me. Wait a second. Wait a second.

And he puts a hand up on the door jam and slowly turns around with the joint in his mouth. He's, he's also smoking it in the way that a dirt bag smokes, which is like this. Uh-huh. No, he's doing like this and then he like flips it around. You know, they're like, guys, that, and then changes the grip on them. Oh, dirt bags. Sometimes he's doing this. You seen these guys? No. What? What the fuck? There's all different ways to smoke these guys. I'm such a square. I don't know anything.

No, people just do it weird ways. The only, there's the normal ways to do it, but he is not doing it. Like this? Whoa. Cool. And yeah, he slowly turns around. Okay. Wait there for a second. One more bowl of bisque for the boy. Don't mind if I do. Mears is like, oh my God, he is not going to stay here. Is he? We don't know. I'll kill him. Okay. Just kill him. And then you know what? I might try to kill the three of you for doing it to me. Okay. Right.

Mears has a sword he doesn't want in here already. It's affecting you. It's influences upon you. Oh no, this is our influence. You're influencing me. This sword has nothing to do with this. Okay. Maybe we have been behaving badly. I'm sorry, Mears. It's okay. I am. I'm the innkeeper. Everything's fine. You're such a gracious host. All right. No, you know, yeah. Hither and yon is for everybody. Except this guy. Except for this motherfucker.

But if he will be useful, to the three of you in your quest to, let's be frank, save the world. I can't believe we've gotten here. Can't believe this is where the stakes are at now. You might have to save the world. And if this guy is going to help you with that, then I will kill him after. Okay. Listen to his stories. Give him entertainment. I'm running out of bisque. Just make more fucking bisque. I'm running out of, oh, just make more bisque, Mears. Make more bisque, Mears.

Find more lobsters, Mears. I'll just go outside. There's lobsters in the fucking sand, Mears. Sorry. You know how hard it is to juice a bisque? Juice? Yeah. Bisque. Bisque fruit. What do you guys think bisque is? I never thought about it. Of course you didn't think. I'm sorry. I think we're- Really, you're a child. I should not yell at you. I'm sorry. No. I'm sorry. You're right. I should have known. And you hear a, So, what are we doing here? What's the deal? Okay.

Go hang out at the bar with Mears. Ready? Oh. And he holds his breath the whole way to the bar and then just right in Mears' face. He does, he does, like one of those vape cloud things. Yeah, he's like doing the like, the circle and he's like pushing him forward. Okay. Okay. So, this is maybe a time to talk about the stuff that Colm told us and what we want to do about all of it. I don't want him to know anything. Yeah. So he's far away.

Yeah, you guys can like fully go, the common room's not massive, but you can go to like the fireplace, which I've always imagined as being like fairly far away from the bar. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, Colm asked us to save Callum for him. So that means, I mean, the Gibbous Man's got Callum too. Yeah. And he showed us that the only thing that might be able to hurt the Gibbous Man is the waning knife, right? That's what his mother was saying. Yeah.

The only thing that has ever hurt a god that we know about, yeah. That we know about was a piece of that god. Yeah. And the waning knife has some of him, the Gibbous Man, because it contains the body of the Gibbous Man. Yeah. So that it could mean that it might hurt him. Yeah. So, we need to get the waning knife back. Do we want to honor the, not going to say promise, but sort of like tacit suggestion of a promise that we made to a dying man to save his brother?

I think that it's not just his brother we'd be saving in doing so, though. If he is the icon for tyranny, we'd be saving a lot of people's lives if we were able to save him. Mm-hmm. Okay. All right. So we do have to do this. I think so. Plus we have points to the horizon where there's a giant robot standing on the other side. Like, A4 is just like… Yeah, you see him like walking in the distance. Over a hill range like towards Highspear. Be nice as fuck. Nice as fuck. Everybody be cool.

All these birds on his shoulders like tiny little birds. The Vankaboss is coming. Vankaboss is coming. Vankaboss is coming. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I want you in my room so we can be nice together from now until forever. So, I mean, so you guys are thinking that you should attempt to free Callum from the influence of tyranny? Yeah. Okay, so what is the move from here? Where is Callum? And where's the fucking waning knife? I mean, we gave it to Callum.

We gave it to the bird. I can try and reach out and find out where it is. Okay. Oh my God, I hope he hasn't dropped into the ocean or something. We cut to Cloudpiercer. Oh no, fuck! No! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This thing is tiny. Shit, this thing is so small. Gale, have you seen my knife? What's in my nest? I like to hold on to it. It's cold against my skin. It reminds me of Tuck who I have a complicated relationship. Well, I've been telling everybody about it.

I know everybody's wondering when are they just going to get it over with already. Come on, it's been will they, won't they for five seasons now. It's the mystery of the podcast. The story at the core of the narrative. When will Gale just get torn up by that? So you're going to try and connect with Cloudpiercer? Yes. Is this a communion?

Because I think the information is going to be the influence of the storm would make it harder than just like a straight up like jump into his mind like you have in the past. I'll use communion of whispers. Yeah. Should we go outside to do it? Yeah. Like stand in the doorway? Yeah. Good call. I like being outside. So you're sitting on the beach? On the grassy knoll at the front. Above. Above the blue sands above the beach. And Billy and Tuck are sitting on either side of you.

We're looking at the storms and the pillars. Yeah. See them far, far off. 36 plus wisdom. I believe for communion. I got 13. Whoa. So communion of whispers. I believe it just means that you get a vision or a boon related to your current situation. It's clear and helpful. You close your eyes. You try and make that connection as you have. You know, you're reaching out through the spiritual energies of the world and you are no longer in your body.

You are seeing through the eyes of a mighty creature soaring through dappled mountains of cloud. My stomach drops. Yes. As you die down, pull back up the face of one of these towering edifices of cloud. On either side to you, dozens of thunderbirds flying in formation. Whoa. And the presence is felt. Ving. Is that you? Cloudbeater. Ah, it has been so long, Ving. How are you going? The war against Thronebreaker and his flock has been fraught in the storm. Vicious.

We are on an offensive right now. Oh, sorry. It's hard to keep up the general talk when I'm thinking mentally. I'm also thinking worms, worms, I'm so hungry, worms. Yes. Uh, sorry, one second. You have not had time to recuperate. It has been a tough campaign, Ving. I won't lie. But the knife has been a great boon. And he looks down and you see like the harness that you kind of put on him with the knife sheathed on the front of his chest. Mm-hmm.

We are currently moving, seeking the piece of the moon, the piece of Lillian, which we believe powers the storm. Oh. Ugh. Have they gotten some pieces? We have found one other piece. Oh. And the battle is over. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. The battle to reclaim it was costly. What is that? And then Tug pokes Ving. Yeah, we're all like tugging on him. He's like, hey, ask him what the piece is, too. I'm going to ask him what the piece is, too.

We're pressed up against his ears like he's wearing headphones. You have a tumbler, like a cup up against either side of his head. We have a cup against your head. Ask him where did he find it? Are there more? What do you do with the piece of the moon? And where are you going? Do you believe there to be more pieces? Guys, does this have like cups against Ving's head? I'm saying stop breathing so loudly, Tug. What the? I have five hit points, dude. I have one. You're littler.

One is bigger for you than it is for me. Okay, so the preview that we've seen two other pieces of the moon before. One was carved into an altar on Four Frost, which was the piece that represented grief. Oh. No, anger, rage. It was rage because Billy felt like these people don't care about me and like was overcome with the emotion from that piece. It was underneath the fort, right? Underneath the fort. The temple was built on top of it. Yes.

And then underneath Adonack All Water's Tower was another piece. And that piece made Billy want to sacrifice himself to save Ving. Shit. Wait. Were we supposed to be fucking collecting these? Yeah, should we have grabbed those? Fuck, why do we keep forgetting to pick stuff up? So stupid. Ask him. Should we have grabbed those? Yeah. Tell him where they were. We should have grabbed those. It's clear. The vision is not murky. So this piece, this piece that they reclaimed, what do we think it was?

Because I think at this point you would realize you've encountered them enough and you're getting like flashes of Cloudpiercer's experiences in this battle. I like that it is, has been worn down by the sea so it's like a smooth piece. Oh, yes. Yeah, it was enough that Cloudpiercer could like pick it up in his talon. Wow. Maybe it was from, it had come of like the bondage it was at the bottom of a river that had come of a cave.

Oh, that's cool that it was like not like in some incredible temple or beneath a wizard's tower. It was just in a riverbank. That's really cool. You would know or pause it through this clear image. We believe not only was the moon part of Lillian's material form in this place, but the pieces of the moon represent pieces of Lillian herself, parts of her psyche. This piece drew those towards it with feelings of great, what do we think here? Longing. Oh, long.

I kind of like longing that it's like her yearning. Oh, because of the direction. Yeah. Oh, no, I didn't even think of that. But yeah, also that. We've described yearning as a metaphysical direction. So longing, yearning, because I think during the battle, like when she was the blood moon, she wanted to be with Chimes, but like couldn't be. Right. She was overcome by this need to get revenge. Right.

So it, yeah, the power, the power of the longing that this stone emanated drew many to it who sought to claim it in a covetous nature. And we had to fight beak and talon. This piece at the center of the storm, we believe represents her railing against the injustice of her imprisonment, causing the storm to, you know, help me out. You know, the storm is trying to escape much like Lillian wants to escape. You know what I mean? What's the word for that? I'm a bird.

I don't actually speak your language. Worms, worms. I'm so hungry to sleep. That thing where I put my head under my wing when I'm sleepy. So comfortable. Worms, worms. Is it like freedom or dissipation? Yeah, something like that. Emancipation? Emancipation. Yeah. You know, that kind of vibe in general. So the one that they're going for now is this?

Yes, because they believe Thronebreaker is trying to use this piece of the moon and the storm in service to the Gibbous man to aid in this sort of flattening of the realms and in the consolidation of some sort of form that he might be able to take. Oh, okay. So they think that if they're going to really stop this, they need to get to that piece, but it's tough because Thronebreaker is a force of nature. Right. So he doesn't currently have the piece. He has another piece though, you said.

Yes, which has been squirreled away, I think, in the airy that like they've been kind of camping in. Yeah. I think they have like a fort. Nests. Yeah, nests. Like mountains. Like mountain peaks that are guarded by other Thunderbirds. I tug on Ving again. I say, tell Cloudpiercer we found another way, but we need the knife. He can hear you. Oh. Yes. Hello, Billy. Hi. Sorry. I didn't mean to argue in your ear. I didn't know you could hear me. It's okay. It's a confusing process.

It's kind of like he's on speakerphone. Ving is saying this in his voice. It's sort of like he's on speakerphone. I can hear some guy yelling about Lobster Biscuit in the background. And you're right. Tuck is breathing really loud. Oh, he can hear you. I think he has sleep apnea, but he is awake. It is confusing. He has waking apnea. Why are people fucking roasting me right now? I don't understand. So you need, the knife is required in your quest. We may need the knife at some point.

We think that it might be the only thing that can hurt the Gibbous Man. Are you using it right now? It is the only thing drawing us towards the piece of the moon that we require to end this battle. I think that we are not in need of it right now, but we will be soon. Yeah, hold it close to you and keep it safe. I will defend it with my life, as will those of my flock. And he like turns his head to the side. He says, right. And they go, in unison. The cries piercing the heavens.

The bolt of lightning. Oh, in the distance. Yeah. Yes, you hear a storm, the thunder rumbling. We can see it in our aspect and hear it in our real ears. There you are, Cloudpiercer. You're out there somewhere with the thunder. We cut to A4 for a second. He's like, whoa, that was sick. Wow. Metal storm, hopefully stay away. I gotta go now. Because high metal as fuck starts running faster. Oh shit. Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Turning.

I thought it'd be funny if he was watching it and thought it'd sound cool. So he tried to make the sound. Oh yeah. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. And the thunder rolls. And the lightning strikes. Great. So, okay. So I think that makes sense. The knife is important to this. Cloudpiercer does need it. Yes. So you're kind of too, it sounds like, your option is, we'll get you later when you do your thing. The other option, just to lay them out on the table, is you could help. Yeah.

If you could end the battle quickly and more decisively, you could get the knife, but that would draw you away from helping Callum. Yeah. I personally feel like we need to follow the Callum thread. Totally. I'm just letting you know what the potential paths are. Yeah. Appreciate that. I think the bird fight is for the birds. Yeah. That makes sense. All right. Well, I should probably get going now. Thank you. Can I somehow give him a boon towards foraging?

Have you known about gooseneck barnacles? No. What is a gooseneck barnacle? It's like a sea worm. A what? The whole formation dips, They all dip through the clouds. Thank you, Ving. You have given us a great boon this day. Great. Great. Come on, folks. Let's eat. Worms are back on the menu, boys. They all fucking, they all fucking hit the water like those diving birds. All these worms hanging out their beaks. Sorry. Wow, they do not eat well. We should have tuned back in for that.

We should not have seen that. You didn't tune out fast enough. And you're back here on the beach. Great. All right. And we hear mirrors yelling at Wind River. All right. No more bisque. Bisque is done. Go outside. That's not a bread bowl. You can't eat that. You can't eat that. It's a regular bowl. Stop licking my bowls. Get out of here. All right. All right, man. And he gets like pushed, stumbles out the door. Wow. That dude is ornery. That narc makes a good bisque. All right.

Well, and he's packing up his cart. Are you sure you don't want me to hang out? No. Mears is like, absolutely not. You're done. Sorry, man. You behaved really badly in there. Yeah. He makes the rules. Yeah. Appreciate you stopping by, though. All right. Well, if you guys ever find yourself in black glass, look me up. That's where I'm going to probably end up again. Masterly manner in the slate district. Look me up. Unless you want me to go with you. Mears slams the door. So you close the door.

Mears turn. He wheels on all of you. He has a finger out. No more hippies. Whoa. Holy shit. No more. All right. Somebody hurt you. Yeah. That guy. That guy mentally hurt me. He talked. He talked at me for 45 minutes about all of the different music festivals he's been to. And he listed all the drugs he did at them and all the bands he saw. That's all he did. Whenever he talked about a thing that he did, he just talked about the amounts of each thing that he took or drank.

That's all he seemed to care about. Yes. And you could tell that he was, you could tell he's rich. You can just tell. His personality was consumption. Yeah. His, and his hair was so carefully messy, you know? And I swear, I look, I like you guys. Ving, you could be called hippie adjacent, but it's authentic. Okay. It's authentic. You know, you're, you are a creature of the natural world. That guy is cruising for a perusing. I'm sorry, Mears. We'll make it up to you. Okay. All right.

I just want it. I wanted it on the table. You hear, I hear Wind River slamming on the window. He's like, Hey guys, I'm missing some items from like my car. And then all the windows slam shut. We're just like shifty eyed. Guilty faced. And it just moves a few miles down the beach. All right. Anything else that we want to handle before we move on to wherever we want to move on? No, I do want to heal up. Yeah, totally. That's it. Yeah. Take this day. Great. Yeah. Take the day to heal up.

Billy made green curry. Oh, we're getting back up to 26. Nice. Right. Everybody's healed. Wow. I think it is like, it's not like, uh, hit points are funny. It kind of tricks you into thinking like, oh, it's either you're dead or you're healthy. You guys are like bandaged up. Yeah. And like, you've been through it. Yeah. Yeah. Billy looks like a little mummy fully wrapped. He's spilling leftover green curry. Curry all over his bandages. So they're like kind of stained green.

He's using his bandages to wipe his face. Yeah. The bandages around his bandages. Like, yeah, those aren't serviettes, Billy. And you hear, uh, they are serviettes for a different purpose. And you hear the back door open. And you hear, I think we've made some real strides. If we just, if we alter that conduit in the way that I was saying, no, we can't alter the conduit that way. I told you, if we take that plating off, it's, it's going to burst.

They, they come in and they see Billy, but as a mummy. They see Tuck as a mummy. Oh, no, mummies. We're going to hug them. No, it's happening. It's just like the premonitions I had. And they stop and Mears is like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's them, it's them. Oh, wow. You guys look bad. We really, we really took a beating. Smash cut to, uh, Mears ladling out a bunch of leftover green curry. Wow. That's quite a sequence of events. Yeah. So you're saying you killed Colm Blackhammer.

Yeah. So now your plan is go and save the other twin. Yeah. That's what he asked us to do. And Perel, uh, is, uh, is slowly like looking at the curry and kind of like dropping it back into the bowl. Are you guys sure that's wise? Probably not, but if he is the icon for tyranny and if it brings us another step closer to the Gibbous Man, the Gibbous Man was using them for some purpose. Yeah. To try and destroy the high spear. Yeah. And also to, uh, to, they wanted to reform Kynos. That's wild.

I don't know how that would help the Gibbous Man unless they didn't know what he wanted after that. Mm-hmm. What do you guys think he wants after that? The Gibbous Man? Yeah. I don't know. Is this like Spout Lore territory? Uh, yeah, this could be a Spout Lore or discern realities. It is kind of putting together information that you guys have. Okay. Tuck's gonna try and Spout Lore. Uh-huh. What was the Gibbous Man trying to get out of the twins? Mm-hmm.

Because he might still be able to get it out of just Callum. Yeah. Nice. Wow, 10! Okay. Again! 10! Uh, yeah, so Tuck, you think that like the, what Colm told you about their goal, which was refounding the kingdom of Kynos, even then you were like, well, that can't be the whole puzzle. Yeah. Because, what does the Gibbous Man get out of that? Mm-hmm.

And you think about like your encounters with him and the absolute disdain that he has for mortal beings and Colm's like images of him through these, uh, like the visions that he gave you and the stuff you know about his interactions with Lillian and the stuff Chimes has told you and the things you know from the old stories, uh, you think that he was probably just, you knew a lot of people like this in McCall, people like Fatim, who would sometimes like, give, someone something seemingly out of kindness, but only because they knew they were going to take it from them.

Oh. That his plan could be that it doesn't matter who rules Kynos because there might not be a Kynos if the Gibbous Man achieves what he wants to achieve. Right. All he wants is what you think is his godhood back and potentially to bring everything back down to the foundations, wipe it clean. And you think that the Gibbous Man's ultimate goal might be let's just start again. Right. Bring the night sky to the earth. Yep. Back to the drawing board. Some pretty chill steaks, I guess. Huh.

So you're, the thing that Tuck is left with is how does he do that? The smog is part of it. You think that like, maybe he wants Lillian out so she can do it. I mean, it would make sense with the crumbling of the graves right now. Yeah. I mean, if we think about it, like if it's holding up or as legends say, it's holding up the night sky. Right. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Bringing the towers down could bring, yeah, like metaphysically, in a sense, bring the sky closer, allow him to take his form. Right.

Not only physically bringing the night sky to the earth, but putting a darkness, a shroud over the eyes of mortals. Yeah. Leaving them in the dark. And if his goal was to bring the realms like the spheres close, which is causing the towers to crack, Uh-huh. The towers cracking could very, yeah, it could be part of his plan. He could want to bring that whole thing down. He could want to open Lillian's tomb.

But he wouldn't want Lillian to be free, so he would have to, if he let her out, it's because he knows that he can control her? Yeah. Yeah, you would think that like, especially if he's afraid of her and if he wants to let her out, there might be a piece that you don't know yet. Oh, shit. No, we do know it because the birds just fucking told us. What? The pieces of Lillian. The pieces of Lillian. That's why he's collecting them so he can control her when she gets out. He has different aspects.

He has different aspects of her. That's a very interesting idea. I fucking figure it out. Just me. Chuck. Alone. The figure-er. Out-er. He got so excited when he put it together, he got up and kicked a chair. He's like, fuck yeah. Me. So the pieces that we, the pieces that we've encountered that we're familiar with, the piece in the storm, which is her, her desire to escape, to be free, and to like, like live the way that she wants to live. And if he had control over that.

It's what, that piece is controlled by the storm. And Thronebreaker, who is a servant of the Gibbous Man. The other was beneath the temple in Fort Forfrost, which was controlled by the Medjai, who are servants of the Gibbous Man. The other part underneath Adderneck Allwater's tower. Question mark, question mark. No, he could get in there. He tried to get in there. But he can't get in. But he can't get in. So maybe Allwater like set up, I mean, maybe that's what it was.

Maybe she set up some sort of protection there. Yeah. Because she knew he would try. We do think, we do, we had that vision of Ileana as well, working to connect different pieces of the sky, like with the Gibbous Man, the spider reaching as she was searching for things to try and protect. She was reading the points of light in the dark. She was trying to find the pieces of the moon to take them away from him. And that's why he came down on her. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

Everything he's doing, it all makes sense. Like that's why, that's why he corrupted the trees of knowledge. That's why he wants the High Spirit Tower down. He was trying to get into the forest because there's probably a lot probably one there too. Definitely. There must be. Yeah. And there's probably one under the tower or somewhere in High Spirit. Kind of feels like the towers would be. Kind of makes sense now, hey? Because it's like, it's the moon.

Oh my God, what if there's one under the tower? That's what I just said. I think you guys might be talking about different towers. There's one under the tower there too. Oh my God, under the High Spirit? Ving, that's genius. Don't give big credit for this. Ving, that's so smart. It makes so much sense. Oh my God. There's gotta be one. You guys are gaslighting me and I'm gonna go crazy. It's pronounced gaslamping. Doug gets up and kicks another chair but this time because he's angry.

This one is a wooden chair and goes straight into the fireplace. You guys make me so mad sometimes. Okay, so do we think that there is a piece of the moon under the High Spirit or that that part is just in the destruction of the tower like separating the people of the more the mortal peoples? Is there any time I could, what about spending in my time here talking to the moon using night moves to see if we can figure out where these chunks of the moon are?

If we understand where the pieces of Lillian are scattered, we'd have a jump on the big gibbous man. Yeah. The big gibbous man. The big old gibbous man. And we could tell Cloudpiercer too. Yeah. And we can confirm this theory. Yes, which is true that you came up with all by yourself. Thank you. He takes the bird chair out of the fire. Yeah. He blows it out. It's on us. It's so hot. You say that you came up with all by yourself and Morris goes, thank you. No. Chair back in the fire.

Morris' chair in the fire. Doug gets so mad. He like takes the big leather comfy couch in front of the Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's Corinthian. He's trying to It's so heavy. It's because Francis is I'll make excuse me. It's a coma. I can't help but notice you're trying to throw me in the fire. That's his apnea. His apnea is getting him. I don't have sleep apnea. Perhaps you should put me down, dear boy. Okay. Okay, great. So it is the morning now.

So you might have to wait until the evening to use night moves. That's fine. Billy's rolling. Oh, it's a morning. Billy's rolling around in the sand doing his fairy child. Yeah, there you go. And I'm going to roll what the bones gnar. And the bones gnar. What the bones gnar. Five. Oh, great. Well, five's great for that. Nine. Nice. Beautiful. So you get what? Three or four? I get Yeah, three hold. Nice. You also have the opportunity to change your season. You are currently winter. Oh, yeah.

I think I'll try. I always feel a little bummed out this way. Yeah. You're also like way less likable. So you roll a d4 and it's just whatever comes up. So prickly. Oh, spring. One. Oh, nice. Back to the springtime. Finally. Little guy. Oh, gee, Billy. Tuck gives you a big hug. Oh, gee, Billy. And then Billy starts crying. I killed that guy. I know, buddy. I'm sorry. You kind of had to do it. And honestly, it was mostly a four, so. I'm really sorry. And kind of thing. You're okay.

It hit him like a monster. Keep it. You first. He bit me right here. Yeah. I just do the thing that you do with a kid where they need to have a cry and you let them do it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's he bit me right here. Oh, I'm sorry, buddy. He did bite you right there. Yeah. Yeah. That must have hurt really bad. It did, but I was brave about it. You were so brave. You were so brave. Thanks, guys.

And as we're kind of like and like patting on his back, I turn to Vick and I'm like, it's pretty crazy that he's like a thousand-year-old killing machine. You can really easily forget it in these moments. It's really weird. He's basically a little atomic bomb. A little grenade. Yes, and a little baby grenade. Yeah. The crying, oh, the crying's outside, correct? Yes, the crying's outside. And you hear a bunch of cries and you're like, what's going on? And you're like, what's going on?

And you're like, what's going on? And you're like, what's going on? And you're like, what's going on? And you're like, what's going on?

Crashing from inside hither and yon who is endangering the boy victor it bursts out of the out of the doorway he jumps on tack get away from him your monster is beast yeah he's holding billy uh by the scrub starts running down the beach you're just like jiggling at the end of your shirt yeah and I'm telling victor it bit me what beat you the bad guy what bad guy he's dead now oh you killed him yeah he puts you down and he like uh goes uh he stands his full height above you stand up okay you are a warrior billy stands up taller like you are like me yeah he entered into this conflict knowing that you are a warrior you are a warrior you are a warrior you are a warrior you are a warrior you are a warrior you are a warrior you are a warrior you are a warrior yes yes as did you I suppose so and you overcame him in the field of martial battle I did then you have not killed a man you have defeated a foe wow john's eyes are going fucking crazy this is the best and I'm spitting a lot victor licks his lips to stop himself from spitting there's nothing for you to feel bad about about you're right I I did it to protect everyone and when time comes if we meet in the field of battle I hope that you will kill me oh my god victor I could never you are right you could never but I just want you to know that I hope you try if it makes you feel better I'll try but I could never you are correct now climb astride my back okay start charging away from hither and yon like running so far away go for a run on the beach tuck your finger like oh god wow he's really fucking moving he's on the back of that wild wolf he really got through to billy though and you've now like left uh the field of things like world's echo effect yeah so he's like this is how you run but you just fully can't understand him anymore he's just making he's doing the dog thing where he fight he like runs past a piece of driftwood and then he like goes back for it and grabs it and throws it in the air yeah and then does that thing I feel like he's getting so motion sick back here he's like oh my gosh it's so much green curry this morning curry uh and I mean you can come back later you know he'll run back later unless there's something maybe you see some maybe see you know what I think as you're running you do see further down the beach there is a town maybe about you know a couple hours walk there's a town down the beach for sure victor yeah I mean there's a town over there they probably wouldn't want me to go alone though is that no oh wait is that yes uh tell me boy which way should we go and he looks at you and he points his nose towards the town no victor that's we're being bad boys unless I mean we could try to get to the town probably get there back before they even notice us okay and he takes off oh he grabs he stops and he picks up a stick and then he starts running and then you cut back to being a duck after he says before they even notice and we're like uh they're going to that town oh man they're going to that town oh man they're gone yeah well he's probably gonna be fine it's probably not a big deal did you hear that wolf say he was gonna kill our son I'm pretty sure he said he's gonna kill our son I feel like there was a we're walking back inside there was a conditional in there it's if they met on the field of battle okay well let's try to avoid that I guess uh and we go back and talk to morris and perrell yeah and they're they're they're just sitting chatting they're like looking over a bunch of notes we sit down with them and we're like okay so uh then you're gonna do your night moves thing try and figure out where all the pieces of the moon are yeah we told you guys about the knife like it could potentially hurt the gibbous man because it killed rian right right and he was he's kind of the grandson of the gibbous man because he's lillian and chimes's son yes he's kind of a demigod in his time so it's like sure the image we saw from colm's mother said that he was hurt because it was anointed with his blood.

Yeah, that makes sense says Perel. That does make sense. This is a tough area of study. I remember there are wizards who kind of focused on quote-unquote divinity as their area of study. And it's tough because Rian, as far as history is aware, was one of a kind. He was the offspring of a mortal and a god that has never happened before or since. So anything that you are planning, working with that information, you're in new waters. I want to use druidic lore. Yeah.

Because there's no other situation like it. It's historical. It has to do with the moon, the stars. It is a druid. They have stories and knowledge about this. Yeah. And it also kind of makes sense just based on what we know. The pieces that we know are that the knife is also made of Lillian herself. It's made of lunar steel. And we also know from the song The Thief and the Maid, Lillian is the reason why the Gibbous Man is tied to this realm. She did that to him.

She caused the reign of night to happen where the sky shattered. That was all this stuff in The Thief and the Maid. So we know from all of that that she's dangerous. She's powerful. Something about her can hurt him. So there's that piece of it too that we have. Yeah, there's a lot there. Go ahead and consult that trove of ancient knowledge. Within the seed contained in your chest. Roll plus wisdom. Nice. Twelve. Fuck. Yeah, dude.

So on a twelve, I ask you a question about the situation and you just tell me the answer and it's true. Yep. So we've established that this has never happened with the exception of Rian. I think the stories of the God of the Flame that we've talked about are that he's a similar thing, but he was born of like two mortal parents. Yeah. God of the Flame was like the first thing I came up with in the podcast, which is why it's so fucking dumb.

No, but it's like it was two people who like their coupling was blessed by the heavens. Yeah, they were having sex on a mountaintop. They got struck by lightning. The thing that I said, I tried to make it more fantasy. That was the first day, wasn't it? Yeah, that was the first day and then they gave birth to a kid who eventually became the God of the Flame when his like his powers activated. Yeah. And Rian is a different story because one of his parents is mortal. One of his parents was a god.

Yes. But that also means that the God of the Flame and Lillian are brother sister. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because it's this guy. It was the light bolt was that I said the lighting bolt is like the dick of the God of the Sky. Yes, I remember that. I also remember you saying the God of the Sky. That's why the Gibbous Man is the God of the Sky because we introduced him in the very first episode. So yeah, the God of the Flame is the son of the Gibbous Man. Wow.

Well, not the son of the Gibbous Man because the Gibbous Man we know is like the night aspect. Yes. The day aspect having been cut off from him. Yes. In some fashion. And it's out there somewhere. Oh, by the reign of night. It's like he has been cut off from his day aspect. Yeah, that was more the father of the God of the Flame. Right. It was both of them. Yeah, man. He's one being.

It's not quite like there are two sides of him, but you know, I can't believe I put this all together seven years ago all alone. Just me, Abdulaziz. Orchestrating this whole podcast. Greatest story of all time. Just waiting. Just waiting for us to all finally get it. Welcome to my story. Now I'm being gaslamped. Like I haven't been picking up the fucking shit. Shattered Easter eggs that you've been dropping for seven fucking years. Okay, so lightning is a dick. Okay. That's the Abdul story.

It all makes sense to me. It's fitting together. Abdul wrote a new song with six stanzas in it that all apparently mean something. And he didn't think about it at all. Thank you. Okay, so what is the question that you're being asked here? Oh man, I don't know what exactly are you looking for? What are we looking for? We might be looking. We might be looking for moon vibes right now. I think it's just moon vibes. We could also do this instead of the night moves later. Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, that totally makes sense. Yeah, like looking for stories the druids have about the falling of the moon. Yeah, and you're moon boy right now. Yeah, I'm in moon mode and all my runes are glowing. Oh, yes. Like the moonlight is illuminating the runes carved into your body. As you draw on the knowledge from the seed in your chest. What is a story that the druids have about the when the moon fell? That is when the night sky pulled Lillian down destroyed her sort of. Nope.

That is what the moon fell when Rian was murdered and Lillian's grief shattered the moon. The grieving there is a piece of moon that is the well in Hibernia is it struck the ground and drove down and the water that gathered in that hole that great hole is is one of the biggest chunks of of moonstone. Whoa, it's a big chunky hole. It's a big chunky hole. It's soaking wet. It's flooding out everywhere. Is that where the like the magical water comes from? Yeah. Yeah.

So it must be leaking or there must be a way to it from Aternac All Waters Tower because underneath there wasn't there that like reservoir of. Oh, so those are different. I might have different places. No, you are thinking of different places. So Hibernia is like the island and then Aternac All Waters Tower was like in the frozen north. But we have talked about how there are tunnels all through like these might be reservoirs that are connected via tunnels all through the planet.

There's all through like the underneath the earth. There's no way to know. Yeah, I think that that is also magical water, but because we've established that water has a lot of different properties in our world. Yeah. But the one in Hibernia held special and that's why Vingod is a strange moon thing while on Hibernia. It's very moon based. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, that is very interesting. All right. That's true. That's how the moon. That's how the move works.

There's a story of a piece of the moon that fell that the Hibernians tell that fell and drove itself through the island and filled with these waters that they then used to anoint druids for centuries after that. What piece of the moon is I mean, it would have something to do with what the water's done. Yeah, like nurturing. Oh, yeah. Because maybe that's also where they drink water from. Right. Yeah. Oh, it's where they also where they the growth of the first of the knowledge trees. Yeah. Right.

So it's the nurturing aspect of growth and nurturing. Yeah. It's like also where you kind of transformed into like the moon thing that you are now. And what that's part of the origin. I think it's the water and the Hibernian well is some of the core ingredients of what Ileana used to make Ving. Oh, yeah. Some of that nurturing. Oh, cool. That's very cool. Because she's a Hibernian. That's when she was in that hut by that well. Yeah. What? Some of his proto. It's all coming together.

Proto fluids. That's why Ving is always like, yeah, I'm going to take this. I'm taking this. It's bad. And also why Ving is always like, oh, Billy, let me do this for you. Oh, Tucker, you. Yeah, that's part of his nurture. He's with the nurture. That's cool. That's why Ving is so nurturing. I like that. Great. All right. That's all true. That's real. His nurture exists from his mom to keep the seed of knowledge safe. Oh, yeah. You have to be wandering. You have to be stupid.

You have to be hard to find. You have to nurture. Yeah. Beautiful. Back to Billy and Victor. Yeah. We've made it. Yeah. A hundred percent. You're in this town. I mean, we're not in the town, but we're on the outside and I'm feeling thrilled. Yeah. Can I use my Billnoculars to have a look around? Absolutely. Discern realities. Five. Oh, whoa. Okay. So a failure. A straight up failure with no one to help you, except you do have fairy child hold. I'd like to change it to a seven to nine.

You were so fucking tight fisted with your fairy child before. We were absolutely going to die. Did you end up spending that last one? Yeah. Okay, great. Yeah. Okay. So you've got a seven to nine there, which means one question from discern realities. I guess what here is useful or valuable to me? Yeah. What would it be? Maybe a new, maybe a crier talking about the news from Black Glass.

Oh, like here you hear you hot, hot new edition could be news that like Colm is dead, has reached the Capitol and then like what Callum has done. Marshall. Declared. Yeah. Yeah. That could be pretty scary. Yeah. So you so you are riding up to town on your giant wolf. It's like kind of hard to see for a lot of people, but like still mostly right. I'm totally like pretty much still bandaged. Yeah. You're completely covered in bandages that are themselves covered in green curry. Yeah.

Kind of like you're in a ghillie suit. Yeah. A little bit. Princepcom Black Hammer killed by three outsiders in devastating. Alliance ride. I whisper to Victor. We did that. Yes. Because he was my foe. Yes. You defeated a foe on the field of battle. Crush beneath giant machinery in terrible, terrible move. That's a four that I was telling you about. That's amazing. Giant killing machine. He sounds like he would be difficult, but not impossible for me to defeat. Victor, you would love him.

He's so hardcore. But. I don't know. I think you guys are equally matched. He has angel wings. Barbecue sauce. Ten thousand coin reward for capture of three outsiders. Description and this edition one coin each. Victor, that's that's a lot of money. What do you think? I almost want to give ourselves like that. Turn ourselves in. Ten thousand coins? We've considered this exact thing so many times. And your bill your bill noculars cast down to like sort of the parking lot outside town.

I'm like, wow, a lot of people are going to get those pamphlets. And you see a very familiar cart. I that cart wind river. He's lying up to get pamphlet. And you see him flipping through the edition. Well, you see him going up to buy an edition, walking back to his cart, looking for his coin purse and going, I go. I go. Good luck turning us in. You see him and he walks over and kind of looks over someone's shoulder. Oh, no. And you see his eyes widen. Oh, not.

And you see you see him voice the words of and that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean. Oh, here I join me as always to come and do him the barbarian Abdul Aziz. So long being the half elf druid Paul offers. Take care. In fact, Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica tie. Thank you to all of our supporters from around the world.

If you'd like to support the show, getting access to a bunch of stuff like the up to date Mall Brats feed with like basically two additional seasons worth of content. Yes, not more merchandise, quarterly postcards, gift boxes curated by the cast and games run by myself and or Abdul. Does that sound cool to you? Listener, then you can support the show at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money, please. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music.

You can listen to Aaron's original music at Aaron Reed dot band camp.com and all of the music produced for the show on Spotify. And thank you finally and most of all to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be for times abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution.

Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I gladly Spout Lore.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spelt Lord!

I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara Joining me as always, Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz Hello everybody! Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers Hey, how's it going? And Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai Hello!

When last we left our heroes, they were gearing up for an infiltration of the Project Anvil facility, wherever that may be Using the information of their new friend, Euphigenia, they infiltrated, attempted to subtly infiltrate the Project Anvil facility in some manner, maybe getting dropped off like outside the gates and sneaking in, or like in an off corridor and creeping about Instead, they ended up directly in the War Council of Colm Blackhammer, one of the two princeps of the Firefields Principality Whoopsies Deep in conversation with a number of noble members of Firefields gentry, discussing logistics and timelines, and the continuing demand for their allegiance to the Blackhammer Twins and their plans, the party lay in wait for him to be left alone with his thoughts Billy almost gave us away immediately, because his belly bumped the door Almost opened it too far And then Jess angrily had to burn a fairy child to keep him There's so few left!

I think you only have one! I only have one! That's the way to do it! Oh man… Watch your tum tums! And you know what? Billy made up for it, just moments later, leaning around the door with a blow dart, coated in Harpsnake Venom, paralyzing Colm Blackhammer Not such a stupid gift anymore, huh?

Yeah, you're all welcome everyone, ungrateful I cannot believe how quickly the tables turned on me and my plans By just Billy going like Colm stood there, paralyzed, as the party rifled through his shit Including a bunch of war plans and maps that they did not have the time or inclination to go through Really paralyzed more people Yeah This is a good lesson we're all learning Yeah It is a pretty good move Yeah, maybe we should visit some markets or whatever, wherever they sell this stuff Yeah Yeah, if you could find someone that sold Harpsnake Venom, that'd be great, but it's probably fairly uncommon Unless you go to the Highspear Mall and Dwat's still alive Oh…

Oh yeah Me and you later, still together Still together? Harpsnakes, blow your voice Listen for the music of the Harpsnakes Is it legal to sell Harpsnakes in this mall?

I win Whink I wouldn't know anything about that, I'm just a humble regular snake-thailtment Wink But if you come to the Jazz Festival happening later today, maybe someone there might know something For our listeners that don't, haven't heard Mall Brats, this means nothing to them But go listen to Mall Brats, you're gonna love it I'm just imagining Dwat lifting up a bunch of regular snakes to reveal a Harpsnake underneath Come here close, children Look at what I got here A different snake I love Dwat You can't flush it down the toilet though, everybody does that and it really fucks up the surrounding area And that's why we…

You have to snake your snake out That's why we have giant Harpsnakes in the firefields Yup!

They are not indigenous to this area That's true It is from a character who we introduced in the Big Market episode of Mall Brats He was in two episodes He's in one Three episodes Three, right All three of which he was fucking someone in a tent that we built Excuse you, he was making love Yeah, that's true After he was paralyzed, Colm Blackhammer then had his armor Uh The engine was destroyed Followed by Tuck peeling Colm out of his armor like a banana Ripping the front off, destroying it, opening up the chest completely Revealing underneath his armor, Medjay-style tattoos Having been used to, in his youth, chain a number of icons to his being Including the icons of honor and discipline, ones he took on as a young man Followed by, much more recently, the icon of slaughter Oh yeah, and that tattoo is so rough Yeah And like scarring and just like an ugly ugly rotten tattoo Oh totally, yeah Oh and I was thinking about this, the one that we talked about the Medjay having like the mandala The anchor The anchor one For this one it is an eye He has an eye tattoo in the middle of his chest Sick!

We totally didn't notice that Yeah, nobody noticed that before because somebody hadn't thought about it Man, that was a very exciting drive home for you Yeah It was more me going, oh you fucking idiot, damn it, you son of a bitch Get out of my way That's most of what the post session thoughts for me are Like, I could have done this, that would have been so cool Um, they took his sword, tossed it into Hither and Yon Which was still connected to the closet And closed the door, locking Colm in his, uh, in his, in his room Uh, they then tried to sneak through the facility finding their way to Project Anvil itself Discovering that every level of the subterranean facility had access to the project Before being accosted by a number of guards A fight scene broke out They started charging their way through the facility Uh, they arrived at Project Anvil discovering The reason that it is accessible from every level is because it is on every level It's about a 120 foot tall war mech Sick A thought that I had that I didn't bring up was that there's parts of this like legs and arms Maybe we talked a little bit like Voltron But where other mechs come in and can come on this So it can also act as a carrier of other mechs Oh, that it can like drop war mechs into the future?

Yeah Oh, poofs them out Yeah, poofs them out Blum blum blum, get em boys Yeah, their, it, it's legs go very wide, it squats all the way down Lays them like an egg And it has to do this with its face Eughhh Aaaaaah Ohhhhh And then the guy on the hairier side is just like What the It looks like, uh, it's taking a big shit It's poopin' It's poopin' boys! It's poopin' boys! E-Ella Key, it's poopin' out there! Get ready, it's poopin'!

Uh Looks like it's really trying to bear down and bite it off It just grabs onto like the top of a hill Grrrr We could get the newspaper Grrrr Pretty cool how quickly we undermine that scary thing Hey, you know what? I'm alr- I'm always ready for that I had a really cool bike ride home after last session How many more poop jokes could I get in there?

Those weren't my poop jokes by the way That was a duel, that was a duel I did quickly jump on board Yeah, you got it I got on deck if you will Yeah Yeah Uh, Euphigenia went to go disable the alarms, hopefully to stop, um, an incredible amount of security and soldiers from showing up While Ving ran around to the back of the ship To try and get across on a gantry platform there Billy and Tuck decided to just fucking go for it Did a big ol' jump right across the gap, latching onto the front Uh, Tuck gave Billy the mechanical heart of M4 which he then wheedled his way inside And the axe And the axe with Larry, Terry, and Chad to help do some, uh, magical mechanic work inside And as things were just starting to look like maybe progress was being made Who should arrive?

Who should arrive? But Colm Blackhammer In his shattered armor The gaping wounds from his previous battles So fucking gross And in his hand, his obsidian sword Nooo And that is where we find our heroes now Colm Blackhammer, eyes ablaze Fury in his eyes that are ablaze He's got a sword in his hand He's standing there staring at you, Tuck What do you do?

Tuck jumps And you see Colm brings his sword in front of him and he goes like Like grits his teeth and he's ready to fight When I see him bring the sword in front of him, I'm like, shit!

And then he, you said that there was like chains hanging, that's how Billy got across Yeah So Crash Bandicoot style, I'm gonna try and grab the chain And then like, uh, you know that thing where it's like, I swing on it and then pull up to give myself more air so I'm not on the same trajectory And then I'm gonna try and come down on top of him like, WWE style elbow on his head Yeah Cool Yeah All of that seems like something, like the leap across seems like it would be well within Tuck's capabilities So I won't make you roll for that Okay But you will be rolling hack and slash Yes So 2d6 plus strength, oh actually no, he is ready to go You are defenseless, not defenseless but you have no weapons No weapons So you will have to roll a defy danger to even get in close to him Okay, that makes sense So how are you getting around it?

I'm just trying to, I'm yanking as hard as I can, I'm yanking on it bro What do you mean yanking? On the chain Okay so that's He's yanking his chain Gotcha, so you're trying to say that that's a strength instead of a dexterity basically? Are you like whipping the chain around or something?

No, Tuck's trying to like get over it He's trying to like get over it So he's just like grabs the chain and goes like Yeah Yeah, like an athletics thing, yeah I'll call it strength, 2d6 plus strength Okay, here we go Big strength boy Okay, so 13 13 Yes!

You uh, yeah you yank on this chain as you leap across and throw yourself above at an angle that Colm was not expecting Yeah, kind of above and behind And he looks up, yeah alright And then I wanted people to elbow the fuck out of the back of his head Hack and slash Here we go 2d6 plus strength Fuck yes! Oh no! So that's a 4 on the die and then I got a 7 Okay so you're gonna deal your damage and he's gonna deal his damage Okay Ugh Tuck, fuck, what? 1! Fuck my damage is 1! Your damage is 1?

Yeah Okay, yeah So you like, he I think even in his slowed state he moves faster than you expect him to You roll his damage real quick so it's 2d10 and then you'll take the higher Oh my fuck We're all gonna die aren't we? Fuck! So yeah that's a 10 is the highest That's 10, yeah for sure that's 10 highest one Shit dude And I believe we discussed that last time that his sword bypasses your armor Yes, but yes We did save that Sean So yeah that's 6, he's at 6 Can I try You're at 6 hit points?

Yep Can I try and weaponize dissociation to resist that aspect of the sword? Oh no Yes you can Okay That is a very interesting idea Okay please be only one So that's 4, I took 4 hit I took 4 damage to save 3 so I actually take 11 Oh no! That should count, that's crazy No that 100% counts Yeah I made a bad move He's making choices and he's facing the consequences of them Fuck!

That shouldn't count, I do like that But so you do, you feel, okay so how this happens is you come down with this people's elbow Yeah And he moves again quicker than you expect and you slam your elbow into his like seemingly very lean shoulder Uh huh It just like stabs you through like the torso Okay Good god And this damage that you tried to do like you thought you hit him pretty hard Yeah And he stumbles in his heavy armor, grabs, like pulls you in close with the sword Uh huh Says, is this wise?

And then Tuck goes, I'm not wise And then he kicks his feet back against the wall behind him, tries to take both of them over the edge of the gantry Oh yeah Six damage This, uh, I want you to understand the consequences potentially of what you're doing here Yeah you're dying here I know Yeah I know I understand that? I only have five hit points Do you understand the stakes?

I know We just started the episode I know Moments ago Uh Billy, you see that you are inside the, you're crawling inside M4 This has been like the last 15 seconds Yeah This has not been a long amount of time No I know but TLC has been whispering to me the, like where to go Yeah Basically Man this thing's fucking huge, this is way bigger than the last one There's so many places this thing could go Uh, uh, yeah okay so this kinda looks like a Okay so this kinda looks like how it was connected the other time, uh pull out that little thing again Okay And he sho- you pull out like the mechanical heart of M4 that's like dripping with this spiritual metal creating like weird Art Nouveau kind of spirals on it Do these little tubes have to hook up to something?

I don't know last time it's- we pulled it out and it just kinda like detached, almost by itself Yeah I guess I'll discern reality Yeah so 2d6 plus wisdom Okay seven Oh seven, beautiful Yeah Okay so you get one question off the list Sigh I guess what here is useful or valuable to me?

Hmm So you're deep inside holding this big mechanical heart that's like almost as big as your torso And um, you see that the, the spirit iron that Ving summoned back at the refinery is almost still flowing in its solid state And it looks like it's like reaching out to different components Ooh Cool Okay I wanna let it guide me Yeah Yeah Ooh Yeah So you're getting a plus one from the discern reality series Nice Ooh Five Five?

Nooo Okay holy shit You do have a fairy child I do but I need this stuff Okay you know what I'll use it, yeah turn a failed roll into a seven to nine, I need it So it is like uh the metal is flowing off this heart reaching out and it like the weight of it shifts suddenly as it feels like it grabs out quickly Yeah And you can drop it Yeah Into this like huge complex nest of metal Does it like latch on almost and like kinda weave around?

Yeah it grabs onto some components and holds itself in place just before its lost in the machinery Okay Ooh you can hear the ticking in the heart Uh huh And it kind of goes metal as fuck Haha yeah Save us M4 and I wanna run off with the axe Okay great and you start hustling back outside Uh Ving you hear a Okay, great. And you start hustling back outside. Ving, you hear Tuck scream, I'm not wise. I look at, I see him with sword coming through body. Yeah.

I want to get down there as fast as I can and defend. Yeah, so it'll be a defy danger of some kind to get there. Okay, I'm going to defy danger to get down to the game plank so I can try and defend. I like how you used the GM camera cut to keep me from absolutely killing myself. We just swear. Other people are doing stuff in this situation. You have time to think. Yeah. Okay, so defy danger is what? It is whatever stat that you are using that describes the action you're taking.

I was thinking backwards swan dive from the boiler where I am. Yeah. Sounds like dexterity. Yeah. So I got seven. Seven. I'm going to swing down trying to grab the chains and get down to the level. Yeah, on a seven to nine. And I think you can grab the chain, but you kind of like misjudge the angle and you hear some doors slam upstairs. Yeah. And here people go down there and then as crossbow bolts start to shoot down towards you. He does a very cool elaborate jump. Amazing. Almost slow motion.

Wow. Lance superhero landing. Looks up. Crossbows. Pepper is back. Ah. Roll a D6. Damn it. Three. You take three damage as a bunch of bolts clatter off the ground, but one hits you in the cap. My armor is two, so I take one. He only takes one. Yep. Nice. We're in a high risk situation here. We're in the middle of an enemy army. Against this like injured king. Connected to several demonic forces. A broken suit. An entire line of magi. Unimpressive. Yeah. Descended from.

Turns out the suit doesn't make the man. Yeah. Good. Ving. So you wanted to roll defend. So we'll let you do that. Okay. That's two D6. Yeah. Plus constitution. I believe. Oh, a four and con is seven. It's three. So seven. Okay. So seven. So you get one hold off the defend list that you can use in this situation. Maybe I'll like to open the attacker to an ally. Giving that ally plus one moving forward. Yeah. I like that. Yep. For this situation. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So you're there. You land next to him and you distract Coleman some way. Yeah. I pulled up crossbow out of my back and I stab into his foot. Oh, yeah. Nice. Yeah. And he just yells into the air. Yeah. First Ving goes, I'm not wise too. Absolutely. Mangled grammar. Yeah. Tuck Ving is here. Okay. He is distracted. Cole momentarily with a crossbow bolt in the foot. What do you do? Can I do that?

Can I try and like do one of those like karate moves where you disarm someone holding a sword? Cause I want to kind of just like step back from him. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That feels like a defy danger strength. Okay. Yeah. Cool. I'm going to do that. Here we go. All right. Snake eyes. Oh no. Okay. Okay. So what happens here? Sounds like a trip to the spirit realm. Sounds like we got to save. Back to season three. Three? Time to save. Tuck from hell. Uh, what, but what do we think?

This failure is here. It doesn't have to be damage. We know that it's not always straight up damage. Yeah. Maybe like something in the sword like stops you. Yeah. Like, like, I don't know. The demonic part of it like overcomes your will. Right. To actually hurt Cole. Yeah. Interacts with your chest fragments. Oh. Oh. Huh? The demon of servitude. Yes. Oh, fuck. It like commands you like stop and you freeze up or something. I don't know. That's cool. That's cool. You turn from that to a defensive.

Oh, you don't. Ending Cole? No. No. That's what I was going to say. Wouldn't that be so sick? That's so fucking sick. That'd be so cool if he, if you were like ready to fight. It would make sense. And then Ving sees Tuck like pull the sword out of his, out of his fucking chest and then like wield it against Ving. No, dude. That's pretty sick. Fuck. Sorry, man. That's really cool. You're out. No. Jess, you fucking betrayed me. This is a betrayal. You betrayed us. You betrayed us.

So you feel calm. Like he's got the sword by its hilt. He's holding you fast. Yeah. This in your eyes, scrawny man. Yeah. Has got you pinned. I go, I'm not wise. Yeah. And then you try and rip the sword out of his grip. Yeah. And you feel the light that you feel like you have been experiencing from the white coins in your chest. Seems like it dims and you hear in your head that voice that you've been ignoring punch back. Through the void that you've put up between it. Uh huh.

And it says just like, no, no, this is your role now. And you hear in your eyes go white. Oh, Tuck's eyes go white. Yeah. Oh yeah. The pupils disappear. And Ving sees the coins like fill with black. Oh, the coins start to turn black again. Yeah. Or just in the middle. So they almost look like a bunch of little eyes in his chest. Oh. Which is so weird and very Gibbous Manny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. All the pupils look at you. Yeah. They kind of focus in on you. Yeah. Yeah.

Now hold on here. And Ving, you see Tuck make eye contact with Colm and Colm releases the handle of the sword. I stand up. And says to Tuck, kill him. Whoa. And Tuck pulls the sword. Tuck, you're watching this happen as well. Uh huh. You see yourself pull the sword out of your gut, blood slicking this, this night black blade. He like grins. He grins. Savagely. And there's like blood in his teeth. Yeah. Real quick. I'm going to roll a fight with honor.

Oh, my husband pulls a knife out of his chest to stab me with it. I knew this would happen. Hold on, honey. Let me just. Hold on, honey. Honey. Oh, let's talk about this, honey. Put the keys down. It's an absolute domestic. We can work this out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't want to go do that. Think about the children. Think about the Billy. Look at Billy. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Go ahead and roll a fight with honor. Fight with husband. Oh, nice. Okay. I got nine plus. I got 12. Okay.

Great. Great. So that's three. Three chi. Three chi. So yeah, I would like to use one chi to use weaponized association to figure out his next move. See. Okay. So I'm imagining you guys are like squaring up. Yes. Yeah. This is like the side to side like street fighter. A thing blows across the bottom of the screen. Yeah. There's a chicken in a crate behind us. Yeah. So you're using weaponized association to see what his next move is. His next move will be. Yeah.

Which means that you get to tell me what his next move is. I mean, I think it's just tuck run. It's charge, right? Knife smash. Yeah. Oh, and this is not a knife. Keep in mind. Sword. This is a big old sword. Yeah. Yeah. I think that makes sense that Tuck's next move would just be reckless charge. Oh, yeah. And I can't push you off. Yeah. Because you have no hit points. I can't kill you. And from Tuck's perspective, he's in the void now. Yeah.

And he could hear that one line from the tolling like echoing around him. Which is in dark of night. I have been lost. Yeah. And he hears it in the voices of all the children of McCall, which is a bad song. Because he's like, that's a song for the ones that are taken. I was taken. Yeah. Far away choir. Yeah. You know what? Let's cut back to Billy for a sec. Because Billy, you like wheedle your way out of the machinery. Yeah. And you see Tuck with the sword in his hand charging thing. Yeah.

And while I'm weaving out, I'm trying to do it quickly because I sense bad stuff is happening. I can tell demonic forces are nearby. It's like I feel like the darkness swallowing up. But I also hear the clicking go into place around me as I roll. Yeah. And I hear the fluid weaving through all these little tubes. Yeah. The seven to nine that you rolled is just that you don't know how long it's going to take. Yeah. Yeah. I know he's. I know. Yeah. Yeah. I was waking up. It's under. It's under.

Underway. There's a discordance of the sound of the machinery that starts to turn to a harmony. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. As M4 starts to take over. Sounds like an orchestra tuning. Yeah. Yeah. From mechanic to melodic. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. I would. I grip TLC firmly in my hands and I would like to roll. I'm a bad guy now. Oh. Yeah. Sick. Cool. So I'll call upon my winter form to fight in a fury. Yeah. Guess what? Wisdom. Wisdom. Oh, no. Still get it. A four. No, I don't get it. Oh, no.

Oh, wait. Actually, I do. Yeah. I get one hold, but I'm forced into my winter form until the next sunrise. Oh, okay. So that's fine. So you feel the change undertake you and you are now in your winter form. I am. Which changes all your bonuses and shit. Yeah. I think your wisdom returns to normal, but your charisma is at zero. Yeah. When I deal damage, I deal an additional D. Yes. Okay. Great. Are you going for tuck or are you going for comb? Comb. Comb. Yeah.

But I want to make it look like a comb. It'll look like I'm going for tuck. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Okay, cool. Also, this is, I know the answer's no, but can she use the TLC move? Absolutely not. What the fuck? No, that's not how that works at all. No way. Like when Captain America grabs the hammer? Yeah. Yeah, that'd be cool. Okay. I mean, I'm a bad guy now while wielding TLC is basically the cat picking up Mjolnir situation. So sick. Okay. It was really cool. Let's do it. Let's get 12, you guys.

Okay, wait. Hold on. You are on the chest. And there is a big gap. And then they are on the walkway. Like how you go. Remember how you jumped across to get here? So you can roll a defy danger. Probably dexterity to leap across and like you did to get here. Yeah. So 2d6 plus dexterity. Okay. Plus dexterity. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Pretty good. I'm good. Yeah. Not a problem. Yeah. Yeah. Billy like just fucking powers across TLC. I think you've done it before with you.

You swing it and then like carries you. I use the inertia of the axe to carry me. Excellent. Yeah. Um, and then I want to, yeah. Charge at calm. Yeah. I want it like, yeah. I want it to look like I'm going for tuck, but I'm going for calm. Yeah. I'm a bad guy now has happened. So you're rolling your damage here. Hell yeah. Yeah. Oh, 10 damage. Okay. So you hit him pretty hard. He's got a big old chest. I get him in there. Open it for you. Just hack him right in the guts. Yeah. Fuck yeah.

So you land on the, on the walkway. And with the momentum kind of like spin like a top for a second and then walk that like meaty thunk is it slams right into his gut. Yeah. And he backs away like steps back. Thunk thunk in the armored legs that are still attached with this like gushing wound from his gut. And he like holds his hand up, looks at the blood and looks down at his tattoos says like tougher beings have tried to kill me and failed. And he like gestures to the wounds on his body.

And his gut is like pouring blood. And then you see like a wound on his chest begin to bleed. And like his arm wounds begin to bleed as you feel this like iconic demonic presence start pouring off of him as all the wounds on his body begin to bleed at once. Yeah. And you feel tuck even from deep inside the void. You feel that the demon of slaughter taking the like forefront in Colm's body. Okay. He steps out of the armor and like the leg armor thunks.

He steps to the ground and you see this like he straightens up and hunches a bit like an animal. Whoa. Is he naked? He's got like very loose like breech cloth underneath. He's basically nude. He's not wearing, you know, his legs and feet are bare. His chest and arms are bare except for tattoos and blood and old wounds. He's full golem-ing guys. Whoa. He's going full golem. Yeah. The little undies are definitely giving golem vibes. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Are you wearing a diaper? Yeah.

I'm wearing a diaper. Is that because you can't like go to the bathroom very often? Oh, this is so gross. He's basically turning into like a chupacabra. He's just full slaughter right now. Yeah. He wants to kill. And the demon inside him wants to kill as well. Ving, what do you, you had some, you had some moves. Yeah. I'm just going to continue to use my weaponized association to anticipate Tuck's moves to draw him away from the fight, but avoid him. Great. So that'll, we'll say that's one hold.

Okay. As you just like take off down the catwalk. Yeah. And Tuck comes barreling after you. Kind of backwards running and like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we're here. Yeah. Yeah. And just brutal, vicious swings coming from Tuck as he's whipping this obsidian blade at you. Yeah. Coming within inches of cleaving you in twain. Yeah. Tuck, inside this void, you hear a chorus of voices. Children, maybe you recognize a lot of the voices from your time on the streets of McCall.

It's the kind of thing where you're in a dream and you know, there's like fucked up, stuff out in your periphery. You're trying not to look at it. And you feel just like you are trying to ignore the horrible things happening in the periphery of your mind. On the periphery of your perception, you feel a terrible battle taking place. Your body is currently not your own and it is trying to slay your closest friend. Okay. What do you do? I'm going to try to break the iconic control over my body.

Mm-hmm. Okay. I could try. I can use breaking the law or I could just do a defy danger wisdom. I think it could be wisdom. I think it could also be charisma. You're trying to reassert your personality. Well, that's better. Are you excited about that? Yes. So you're trying to reassert yourself as a person in your body. Yeah. Here we go. Let's see if this works. That's nine. What do we think?

What if like, because you recognize those voices, it kind of pulls you back a little bit and just that one second of you like, oh, well, hold on looking back. Yeah. It's hard for you to get out of it. Yeah. Totally. Oh, you're being distracted by the voices of the kids that like were lost. Well, that's the thing is the tolling is a song that like it. Everyone who sings it, sings it and feels guilty. It's like kind of like the Catholic guilt when they sing. We could have done more kind of stuff.

Yeah. So it's, it is a thing where he feels guilty leaving them here. Uh-huh. What's a glimpse that Tuck catches from his past? Uh, he can see. He can see a door. Like the place we're in shifts to be the, you remember how Tuck kind of was abducted by a weird iconographer? It's where he got his wrist straps. Yes. All of the like wounds on his, on his arms. Yes. And in reality, it is the first real. What's. Yeah. How are you going to tease this? Sean was freaking out. I'm trying. I got to resist.

I got to resist. I got to resist my urge to hold too much close to the chest. You're flirting. Look at you guys. You guys know what's going on. Tension. No, I just, I do. We're just like, the fuck? Every subsequent word in that line. I was like, he's going to, he's going to say it. Wait, hold on. Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no. It was so funny. Cause every word I said, Sean. My eyes were like, why did Sean do this? He went. Every time he said it, I was like.

That's why I stopped. Cause I was like. You're like a something. Is something going to happen? I am revealing something. It's, I am revealing something. Okay. So let's, we'll drop back into that moment. You see a door, a door from Tuck's childhood. So yeah. The story that I told like everyone was that there was like a guy who they would say like left coins out and you could kind of like go and steal them.

Cause he was like pretty forgetful, but like it was actually just traps for street kids and Tuck did that. And then like lost two weeks. How old was Tuck? In this? Uh, he was eight. Oh yeah. Yeah. And like he went back and then the building was empty. It was burned down. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't there anymore. Cause Tuck lies to himself all the time.

So like he forgets what happened actually most of the time, but in the void, like with the kids singing at him, like the, he, like the real memory comes back and he remembers the door and he remembers leaving this place. But he. He had no memories before this. This is the first thing he remembers. Whoa. That is the beginning of Tuck's living memory. Oh no. So everything before that is a lie, including like all the Bruce stuff. I knew the Bruce stuff was fake. Yeah.

Cause that came out on a live stream. Yeah. Yeah. Someone. Someone. No, no one asked it. You asked it. I asked it. But you were like, I promise I'll answer one question truthfully. And so I asked that cause I was like. As the most intimate. Yeah. I was like, I gotta know. Yeah. The Bruce stuff. The reason why it doesn't make sense and why it's so weird. Yeah. And why it's like a story about a used cart salesman who adopted this kid and like lived like a three men and a baby sitcom style life.

And then was killed by a chicken. By a chicken who toppled a bunch of used carts. Yeah. That were on top of each other. It's a story that kid makes up. Yeah. It's like he's like writing a little comic. He's like, whoa, crazy stuff. Crazy stuff. I just learned how to draw a chicken. Yeah. A chicken is going to be in this comic. Yeah. And like Tuck forgets sometimes that he made it up and he believes it sometimes.

But the real thing comes back, which was that Tuck doesn't remember anything before leaving that building. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is like his like dream state like morphs into like the iconographer's workshop that he was leaving. And it's like it's the same again where he's he's got like he's like old style like wrist cuffs on and he's eight again.

And he can see the door and hear the kids and he knows he has to leave. Oh, man. And as you think about walking through that door back to the life that you've built for yourself since that moment, you flash back to the present as the sword that you're holding like clangs into a railing just as Ving is dodged out of the way. And you think, what the fuck am I doing? And Ving, you see Tuck pause for just a second in the swing. The light is the darkness. His pupils return.

Yeah, his eyes roll back down and then back up and emotionless face as a mechanical swing comes for your neck. Billy, you are standing in front of calm black hammer unarmored, covered in blood and wounds of battles past unarmed, unarmed, totally weaponless, except for the powerful demonic forces flowing through his body. And you have TLC. And you see him there standing on top of that. They're like rolling up their sleeves. I think I just fuck this dude up.

I feel bad because Billy wouldn't want to like kill an unarmed person, but his winter form will. Has? Has. Let's, can we get a little memory from Billy? Like this winter form flashing back to a battle of the past. Okay. So it's not like during like some huge battle, but it is part of like this like prolonged war that's been happening. We're in the north, kind of like in the mountains and it's cold. I'm with a small group camping or like we have a camp and Billy had left to get more firewood.

When he came back, the three people he was with are dead. And there are, there's a small group who had come in hungry and they killed everyone to get like the last bit of soup that was over the fire. And Billy loses his mind. And these people are really frail. Everyone's hungry. There's like famine happening, but Billy kills him anyway. Oh my God. Just this towering winter fairy. Yeah. Oh man. And Colm sees this memory with you. And you like in your memory turn and Colm is standing there.

Like, drenched in blood, head to toe. And he looks at you and goes, yes, violence begets violence. Yeah. And I swing again. Go ahead. Hack and slash 2d6 plus strength. Not good. Four. Yeah. That's not good. That's a failure on a hack and slash. That means that he is dealing his damage to you. Oh no. So 2d10 and you take the highest. Fuck dude. Well, those are the two that dealt me the 10 damage. Maybe they'll deal me small damage. They might. Maybe. Three. What? That's so funny. Three.

Is that the highest? Yeah. Cause there's one. It's a one and a three. That's hilarious. Oh my God. That's so fucking funny. Jess, your luck is fucking crazy. So good. The moon is with me. Power of the moon. Yeah. The moon is inside you. Absolutely blending up your guts. She wants to come out so bad and there's nothing, nowhere for her to go. And she's just like, I gotta get out. Just getting shredded in there. Yeah. Kind of one of the best explanations of the female menstrual cycle.

She's just like, whoa, I got nowhere to go. I'm going to snake my way through all the other stuff in here. And hold on to you really tight. I'm sorry, listeners. You don't need to hear this shit. No. They should hear this. They should. It's important for people to know. Men. Listen. Listen to women sometimes. Ask about their sex. That's a cycle once. A lot of people think that the best thing that you can be, if you can't be a man, be a woman. And if you can't be a woman, be a male ally.

That's the most important thing that you can be, is a male ally of, a man ally of women. And if a single one of you agrees with us in any way right now, you can go fuck yourself and stop listening to the five gats. Yeah, this is not the show for you. I was going to say, I think the best thing you could be is a dog, a domesticated dog. A domesticated dog. A domesticated dog. And you live with a dink couple. What's a dink couple? Like dual income, no kids. Oh, nice. They're buying you raw food.

Love the fuck out of you. They're putting you on Instagram. You get pop cups every day. Sorry. No. I rolled three damage. What does he do to me? Three damage. So he's this like bloodied naked, basically naked form. His hair, like there's seems like he has cuts on his scalp that are like pasting his red hair to his flesh with blood. And he unarmed and unarmored just lashes out at you with hands and teeth. He jumps on you. Fingernails that he didn't have before. Start growing.

Like it's like his flesh is receding from the tips of his hands. Oh God, that's disgusting. Raw bone. And he just lunges at you and starts tearing at your flesh. But you have a big old axe and you are, despite your small, innocent self, an experienced warrior. Am I wearing the gimp mask? You do have one armor, yeah. So I only have to take away two. Two damage. Oh yeah, there it is, my armor. And the mask comes in handy because he goes for your eyes. Yeah, he does.

He goes right for the most vulnerable part that he can see. It's a good thing I'm wearing this incredible gimp mask. Well, to be totally honest, you're wearing the gimp mask as a suit. Oh right. Your arms are everywhere. Eye holes. You do put it on like a shirt. You step into it. And he, if your eyes were open, which they're not, you'd see on his face a joyous grin. And we'll cut back to Ving as Tuck. And this emotionless mechanical state is swinging at you with a cold precision. What do you do?

I want to block a blow meant for me and take half the damage and use that opportunity to jam some saffron into Tuck. Okay. So you're blocking a blow. So you're taking the damage. Half of the damage. Half of the damage. Yeah. In order to- Get in close. And now with that disruption, get some saffron into him to see if it lessens the influence over him. All right. Great. Abdul. Yes. Roll your damage. I'm so sorry. Four. Okay. Four. Okay. Armor of two. Bypassing armor because the sword- Okay. Fuck.

Bypasses armor. Oh, bypasses armor? I take half. Yeah. I take half. So I only take two. Yeah. I think you were just able to like pull yourself back at the last second and like you just get nicked. How do you get the saffron in there? He does have a number of cuts from his fight with Colm. He's also got a big wide open mouth. Yeah. I like that. I know. So got a butt. Yeah. I want that on the table. Okay. Wait. Here we go, everyone. As an original storyteller, I shove it in his pee hole. Oh, no.

No, I don't. He snows it up like a little pony. Yeah. Hold on. Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Tax on circumcised so you could like put it into his foreskin. Yeah. His foreskin pinch of clothes. Yeah. It's amazing. Like buttering a turkey. And I sew it shut. Holy shit. Really? That was the most foul thing you've ever said. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm squiggling it around. I'm sorry. Like cheeking a mouthful of tobacco. He's wiggling it in there. The opposite of chew.

It is. There is a mucus membrane down there, so you can't get a lot of stuff. I know, but I don't think you can go that far down. That's how I use tobacco. Yeah. Pack it in my foreskin. So Ving slows down time. Yeah. It's real close. I'm just going to jump over and smear it across his chest where there's a cut and try and flip some in his mouth. I was like, oh, my God. As I head over. Okay, great.

So I think that you blocking that blow, like taking that hit, means that you don't have to roll the defy danger because the danger was getting in close enough. Okay, great. So you smear a handful of saffron. Yeah. Mark off a use of the saffron that you took. Will do. And you just hope and pray that it takes effect. Tuck. Yes. Back in the void. That door. You've got these heavy links around your wrist. This door is so tall and you're so small. Mm-hmm.

You have no idea where you are and you hear familiar voices outside. Are the familiar voices? Who are they? From a time that has not yet passed for this young boy, but they sound like they could be friends. Okay. I got to get to the door. Okay. I'm in this memory. This memory is a trap. It's a brain trap that the demon of servitude. This is what Tuck is saying to himself. He's like reminding himself of who he actually is. He's like, there's a demon. There's a demon in here with me.

It's making a trap out of my memories. And you feel a hand on your shoulder. And Tuck whips around. And if you were to describe what you think a demon of servitude would look like to Tuck, what does it look like? It looks like the iconographer. So it looks like an older man. Yeah. Robe. Robe. Long beard. Beard. Like a hood or a hat of some kind. Yeah. Yeah. Like a dark leathery skin. This was the thing that was like, that sort of. Like confused him a lot. Not unkind. Like seemed nice.

Eyes without malice. Like a softer voice. And the thing that happened, like the way that Tuck got out was the iconographer let him go. Oh. Yeah. Oh no. Released him on the world. Yeah. I don't like that at all. And this kindly man. Just. Bing's trying to read. I'm just going to read the whole line. I was trying to read the redacted move. I'm pretty sure. And my sheet. He put it in there. Put it in the right. Put it in the right. It was red. Oh my God. There's nothing there. It's fully redacted.

I take my secrets seriously. I sent that to the CIA. They redacted it professionally. So this kindly man, the iconographer, demon of servitude. Uh-huh. Like kneels down next to you with his hand on your shoulder. You see this kindly man. Kindly face. You were so lost before you came here. No, I knew where I was. I was with my family. Where did that get you? It got me an anchor. It got me purpose. It gave me a place to stand. And now you're back here with me. I'll get out again.

Just let me kill him. And then you can have purpose again. Uh, and then when he says that, Tuck, and he does feel bad about this because the actual guy was a nice guy. Yeah. Takes the chains around his arms that are linking his like wrists together and like whips the chain like over the guy's head and around his neck and starts choking him. Oh my God. 2d6 plus wisdom. Wisdom? Wisdom? Not charisma? This is not a physical space. Oh, charisma. Right. You're into your, you're re. Yeah.

Asserting yourself as who you are right now. Yes. Yes. Charisma. 2d6 plus charisma. Great. Nice save. I'm not the scared eight year old I was. I'm a fucking. Metal is fuck. Warrior. Uh, 13. Oh, okay. Huge roll. Yes. So, okay. So how does this resolve? Tuck starts choking this kindly old man. Yeah. I think it is rough at first, but it's the kind of thing where like the demon of servitude starts shifting through all of the people who had like control over Tuck in various forms.

Like either like physical control or he worked for them. Allison, like, so like he lusted after them even bit Ving and Billy very briefly to like where it's like the control is like familial duty. And, and then it, uh, it like shifts through all of them and Tuck just steals his mind against like the effect it's trying to have until it settles on what he would interpret as like the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, It's last true form. Yeah. It's true.

On a romantic form. Like the way it emerges in the human mind basically. And what does that look like? You tell me. I had, I had an image. Yeah. So Tuck is in his eight year old form, like choking this man as it filters through these people and his perspective shifts as he rises to his full adult height. Yeah. And it's like, you see like the strength in your arms return. Yeah. Yeah. You've got the chains. Yeah.

And it is now like the demon of servitude, a kneeling form with its head downcast and its hands holding the axe in front of you. Oh, sick. The like mental image of Larry, Terry, and Chad. That's rad. And it's holding this weapon for you. And the place that it is happening is an eternal plane of darkness. And both above and below them is like constellations upon constellations. Oh, I like that. Like every representation of every icon burning cold in a night sky that extends forever. Beautiful.

And Tuck recognizes this as a place he has seen before as the representation of the iconic realm itself. This is the outer dark. Yeah. Oh, sick. Didn't know if we'd ever see it. Yeah. And you pick up the… I… You lift up the… The axe? I lift the… I let go of the chains. I lift the axe and I like flip it in the air and like hold the chains taut as it flips. So it slices through the chains itself. Nice. Yeah. And I imagine you take…

You turn towards the door and you pull the axe back, Larry, Terry, and Chad, and you cleave through the door. Yeah. And as you come back to the present, you stop yourself with the sword an inch from the door. And you take the sword from Ving's neck. Sick. So cool. And you're… Ving, you see Tuck's eyes. He basically caught you on like a bad misstep. Yeah. And he was about to take your head off. Yeah. And the blade stops. Tuck's eyes roll back down. Tuck, don't.

When you say that, he looks you in the face and he goes, I would never. And then he puckers his lips for a second. Damn it. And his eyes go… His eyes go… His eyes go… His eyes go… His eyes go… His eyes go… Ving kisses Tuck on the lips. Just a nice little, how's your father? But as Ving goes for that, Tuck turns and steps away from it. Ving kisses his ear. And then Ving kisses Tuck in the ear hole. So it's really loud for Tuck for a second. Holy misses.

And then he overhand throws the sword like end over end to try and get him to stop. And then he overhand throws the sword like end over end to try and get him to stop.

Itself into combs okay uh like form yeah uh we'll cut well let's cut back to billy for one sec billy you've got calm on top of you he is bloody and grinning what do you do uh I bite back okay fuck yes hack and slash he's right here in biting distance 2d6 plus strength gross oh my god 12 12 yes dirty right uh hack and slash with strength oh with strength okay 10 10 still that is a full hit so that's his your damage and then the d6 from your winter form all right let's go do it do it do it do it do it five five five it's acceptable it's a taller it's enough that like you bite him really bad you feel like like there you feel a chunk come off of him yeah and it's almost yeah and he kind of like he's still smiling as you like take this chunk out of him and he pulls away like he's elating in this slaughter that is being done to him and in that way makes himself wide open for a big old sword uh from down the catwalk okay please please please oh fuck seven seven yes okay seven to nine choose one you have to move to get your shot placing you in danger of the gm's choice you have to take what you can get so you roll your damage and then you roll a d6 and reduce it by that much or you have to take several shots reducing your ammo by one that's not allowed you've only got one thing I I will will move to get my shot I want to fucking end him so you're gonna put yourself in danger uh so go ahead and roll your damage yes is is a d10 and can I roll two d10 and take the highest because I'm using the sword oh that's his thing damage is not determined by the weapons it is determined by the wielder son of a bitch I know it's actually it is a cool ask but it's also something that I really like about Dungeon World because it's something I hate in dnd is like I'm the best fighter in the world I'm level 20 I'm a god my dagger does d6 yeah no you should be much better than that okay okay okay okay okay the fuck is that who am I talking to okay so he tuck was aiming right for his head he wanted it to like cleave it in half basically yeah I wanted to give the demon like basically no flesh to have purchase in yeah because something that I think well I mean is uh billy you you felt this as you bit that chunk out and he enjoyed it basically it was like part of what he's doing uh this doesn't seem like a man that could be killed by traditional means no yeah yeah so I need it to like foul the host to a degree that the infection no longer can continue yeah please for the love of fucking god three eight oh eight oh yes that's pretty big yeah that's pretty big uh I think that uh yeah billy bites him he reels up yeah like uh looking skyward as if accepting the gracious gift of a benevolent god yeah this pain and slaughter and catches a sword going a fucking 150 kilometers an hour where do we think it hits him eight damage he's not killed what do we think because I was aiming for his head but maybe like maybe here yeah I think they're like kind of boom clavicle across the chest and it actually cuts the tattoo in half yeah interesting yeah very interesting so he takes this huge hit and he's like thrown off billy yeah with the force of the throw and he skids a little bit with the momentum and leaves like a streak of blood and gore from where he lands and he's still but that he's still like twitch and get his purchase oh fuck billy smash him I'm sprinting I'm gonna sprint at him ving yeah ving I imagine full-on yeah I'm following I love that he would using his swiftness follows the sword yeah oh yeah totally he's just a couple steps behind yeah jumping across the gap like touching chains light as a feather yeah bolts are coming down whizzing through the air jumping off of arrows we're in a silo so we can like oh yeah run along the wall of the silo hell yeah um and I want to uh land sort of swing around land on the the hilt of the of the sword and then shove it in his back okay yeah to cut fully cut him in half gnarly yeah I mean that's gonna be a defy danger to get there probably right in that way plus dexterity for sure you fucking got this buddy oh wow five five oh no uh oh no I think do you have a plus one forward uh no and I don't think I have I already used my what the bones know from last episode okay so you're definitely gonna take some shots so roll a d6 one oh wow yeah you dodge the worst of those right you you fly through a hail of arrows that are coming down from the top level that's fun at least and you see people like um like a jackie chan movie you see them like moving along the outside going to like stairways trying to like come down to your level right um because there are other people here there's a lot of other people yeah there's a lot of other people fighting a lot yeah she I think effie's been like detained basically oh no she's got like somebody's got like a like a stick like a club kind of around her back and holding her face yeah exactly and you get snagged and as you're coming down colm is able to like drag himself just out of your reach as you land like disarticulated arms that like are crunched backwards he's like not using the like flat of his hand he's using the back and like the back of his hand and he's like like he's like dragging himself yeah an elbow and he's starting to pick himself up uh in a very bad for him yeah he's not having a great time oh fuck this guy and you see he's grabbed the sword and he's starting to pull it out of his own torso like up and out at an angle billy you still hear the ticking the harmonious ticking behind you and you uh if you were to look take give it a take a glance yeah you see the the spiritual iron is like working its way through the mechanisms and it's now moving outside of the interior pieces yep starting to flow across the armor plates won't be long I hack and slash I just go yeah I'm like in feral mode 2d6 plus strength um yep five not good not good at all and uh he finishes with a wet squelch like ripping the sword out of his torso yeah I will say you do notice he is avoiding going further into the cut now okay he is like pulling it up and out instead of through so he doesn't cut the tattoo uh it's hard to say but um he gets the sword out as you're rushing at him and he like kicks you back out of range and comes down with a huge overhand chop and sorry 210 2d10 how much how many points do you have left I have 11 I I have good luck yes I have great yes please oh no 10 and 10 that's 10 and 6 it's a 10 I have one armor so I have two left it bypasses armor it ignores it bypasses armor you have one hit point left oh I didn't expect it to go this badly holy shit he's rolled 10 on us so many times that's wild I'm so fucking stressed now uh you're the one who said he has 20 hit points or whatever 20 dice or whatever this bullshit you guys knew this when you came here remember all the conversations we had about how the last time you guys fought he almost killed you well guess what he's gonna do now he was so easy to fight last time he actually beat the brakes off all of you that was the last time you had only one hit point it was this exact same situation can't believe you guys never think about healing items you never do I mean I have poultices that takes time yeah you guys also do know that healing potions are real store when are you like okay you guys are walking around and there's a super store right there there's a little market you gotta go to a liquor store and get winewood next 100 this is on you don't blame me I would never blame myself I'm a servant to the narrative uh fuck nearly mortal wound to billy okay I mean I'm right there yeah you're right here you're right there close yeah man when's m4 helping us out hey that seven to nine unfortunately meant that this was gonna take a while but you can see that it does appear to be start it's starting to take effect yeah as the harmonious pipes begin to play yeah um I was wondering if I could use a life symphony but that's um captivating those around me in the spiritual bliss and togetherness of the natural world I mean that's a good question I think it's a good question I think it's a good question I think it's a good question I think it's a good question I think it's a good question that is what life symphony symphony we said is basically like eye of the storm but you can stop fights yeah I do want to try it and also seeing billy get slashed I guess you got slashed stabbed really bad like he's bleeding all over the place yeah it's just kind of like a uh uh no moment it's like a parrot moment where you're like no we're done yeah yeah we're done 100 like you see someone's dog like get really close to your kid and bark and you're like we're out of here yeah yeah uh okay I think we said this uses wisdom on a hit the world calms around you so this would be like people are temporarily calmed on a seven to nine it only affects what you touch and only as long as you are touching it so on a 10 plus it would be like you're able to bring this whole fight to a halt momentarily yeah uh but on the seven to nine it would just be like if you could get your hands on calm okay come on duty six plus wisdom this is a key role I feel you gotta do it buddy right now yes nice I got 12 okay so describe this you see billy dealt this blow and colm is like lifted the sword to end billy's life and you bring this situation to a stop yeah he just says wait and everything the arrows slow down oh oh we're doing full matrix yeah like the like you are slowing the world yeah the everything how do we originally say it was like the I think it's more like reaching out to the spirit the spiritual essence of people and calming them because you've tried to stop fights before with eye of the storm so I think even if you said like wait like a few more bolts would like clang off the walkway yeah but no more would come okay I like that for a period of time when when you say wait it like echoes out of everything like every element like also says wait in its own voice and then because I'm it's the move is to captivate the spiritual bliss and togetherness of the natural world around me can I say this goes towards waking up m4 faster sure yeah oh yeah I think it's almost like the influence of uh of the demons in this place was like slowing down yeah the flow of the spiritual metal but now this harmonious nature it flows over m4 not m4 it flows over project anvil now becoming n4 like water just connects all of the armor and armor and armor and armor and armor and armor plates in this spirally art nouveau style that he was and out of out of the pipes that are on m4 you hear this oh sure yeah I like the beginning yeah the beginning is really good so he's got this sword lifted high yeah and I a thing raises his hand up above his head and then uh it doesn't look like you know this doesn't look like a defensive move or an offensive thing and then he quickly brings his hand down and as he does from behind him you see a4 the anvil turned m4 bring a giant hand I want to bring his hand down onto colm oh so sick yes a deep breath harmonious breath escapes the pipes on this massive machine yeah this gigantic metal hand slams down on the catwalk crushing colm blackhammer beneath it uh the sword is like sent skittering across the floor colm's arm and head like his shoulder sticks out from underneath a4's hand but he is defeated what do you do we walk we go up to him I crouch it's over and he looks at the three of you you won't be able to stop him why he's a god can I oh would it make sense to give him a little bit of saffron would that do anything would that quiet the demon enough to get to the man oh like to like as like a bomb for like a dying man his way to like yeah him like I sure to to to to to help him not die as this yeah um I want to take out the saffron and offer it to him and tell him this is your chance to to leave this world as you came into it as a human and I hope you enjoyed this video if you did please like and subscribe and I'll see you in the next one bye bye I offer it to him I don't want to force it on him he closes his eyes and he nods do it and I gather it up a pinch of it and place it in his mouth and you see him like sigh and then the weight of his wounds begin to take hold uh and you see the demonic influence like the the wounds on his body stop bleeding you see a sort of orange saffron luminance clear the infection in his blood and his body breathes a sigh of relief you can see this man is not long for this world we saw your tattoos man honor do something honorable before you go give us something anything that'll help us um you all receive uh images connected as you are through ving's spiritual field that he's put out to sort of calm this situation uh you see what they were promised before they were fully brought into the manipulation of the gibbous man how do we see it uh in images in your head I think because his body is shattered he's not he can't really speak right now he is giving you like through this connection the spiritual thing that ving has used okay he is life symphony the life symphony which has calmed this situation and connected all of you in the the calmness of the spiritual realm yeah the sounds of birds from outside of the silo are filtering down into the middle oh yeah of nature coming into the space yeah calming the area the hum of m4 underneath is like is offering like a bass tone to the whole thing yeah yeah the music of this gigantic machine yeah and you see two brothers coleman callum blackhammer riding on the high spear principality in the city of high spear uh victorious resplendent in their in their finery as they ride through the city gates and then you see their armies marching on to kinos victorious and taking their seat in the old royal capital and leading as the the twin monarchs that they so desperately wanted to be and then you see an image of coleman callum blackhammer as children uh running through the hills outside black glass running through the royal palace young idealistic children looking down from atop their favorite viewpoint at the city of black glass the place they grew up in the city that they love and will one day rule as the princeps of the fire fields um you see them a few years older taking on their first tattoos and clearly like this image is of a secret right small unadorned ancient looking temples where they undergo these rites of passage that have been brought from where their parents came from uh they take on their own icons calm honor later discipline callum shrewdness and their father this towering man forges for them out of his own colossal armor two suits one a a suit of warriors armor the other the chain of a diplomat you see them skipping stones on a lake as young men becoming ready to take their father's place discussing the future that they see for themselves and for their people and for the principality you see them now the princeps young rulers um a with a man in a traveler's cloak with a wide-brimmed hat who offers them aid and counsel.

And you see them trying to embody the icons that they have undertaken, living with honor and with cunning, but over time being twisted and taking these ideals to their extremes, taking on new tattoos. Colm, the icon of slaughter. Callum, the icon of tyranny. And you see what they wanted out of this.

You see them older than you see the man before you, a hoped-for future as they march on the old capital of Kynos and take it for themselves so they can fully protect and control this country that they love, refounding Rion's kingdom of night. And he brings you back to the present. And you can see he's got like a little bit of, like his eyes are a little watery. Is there anything that you can tell us about the Gibbous Man? Anything that'll help us? He's looking at you in the face.

He takes an unsteady breath through his shattered body and says, with his final breath, Save my brother. And you see a memory of Colm from long ago when he was a child visiting the palace of Rion, son of Chimes and Lillian, demigod and founder of the kingdom of Kynos. And he's standing in… The treasury in front of a glass case.

And inside the glass case is a hand held on a plinth, a beam of light shining through, hitting the hand, illuminating a hole in the palm where a blade, the waning knife, pierced through and killed the demigod Rion. And his mother is standing next to him. You see, what does his mother look like? Long, red hair. Yeah. Dark skin. Big fat braid. Yeah. A big braid. A large braid. A large braid. A large braid. A large braid. Big fat braid, baby. Yeah. A braid hanging down over her shoulder. Fatass.

Yeah. Big fat ass. Heavy pit. One thick chick. And she is kneeling next to Colm and saying, That was the only thing that could kill one as powerful as Rion, was his own weapon, the waning knife. A weapon forged for him by his father from his mother's form, drenched in his own blood. He was slain by his closest friend, or so he thought his closest friend. Your brother and you will be powerful. You will lead your people and betrayal will attempt to seek you out. You have to watch over each other.

And in this memory, you feel Colm start to feel fear that there are enemies lurking around every corner and that he must remain vigilant for himself and for his brother. And you feel that fear leak through all of the other memories that he shared with you. And we come back to Colm lying shattered under the hand. Dead.! There's a woman. There's a woman. ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ © transcript Emily Beynon

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spoutland!

I'm your game master Sean O'Hara, joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz Hello everybody! Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers Hello! And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hello!

When last we left our heroes, they'd return to hither and yon Their home away from home That interdimensional, always moving pub slash inn Some time of recuperation began as the party just got to some mail Just checked out their mail Looking for some information and received a correspondence from their dear friend Perel the Wizard Who updated them on the status of Morris and Perel's project at the Highspear Tower For those of you that might not remember, they are investigating the Highspear Tower above the city of Highspear In an attempt to see if its magical infrastructure can be used to the advantage of the party To resist the influence of the Gibbous Man and potentially make contact with wizards not currently on this plane What did we learn from Perel?

That they have now figured out how the Highspear works, which they're happy with But if they're actually able to do anything with it, is up in the air Because its construction is arcane and confusing And the wizard that constructed it did so with their own plans in mind and their own plans only He's fucking crazy, is what you said Yeah, he is insane What else did we learn?

That the Highspear Tower is a magical structure And that the Highspear Tower is a magical structure And that the smog from the infected coal is making its way to Highspear City And floating out over the Highspear itself And we saw a little bookworm condo in one of the mail cubbies Pretty good Inhabited by the bookworms Oman and Yusuf Who delivered a message to Farah Sounds like a sitcom about a gay couple Oman and Yusuf Somebody went to school Farah delivered the message that Blackspire is gone After your last contact, he in fact broke out of the library And has been making his way to the shore of the Sea of Graves You sent a message back with all of the things that have happened to you And Ving then connected via his abalone Mother of Pearl dragon scale with Cerulean Depths Sending her and Grandmother Orca The old timer whale that she hangs out with To go pick up Blackspire Who is now surfing his way across the Sea of Graves What a stupid thing I let you guys do So dumb You've been trying to keep him off of this continent for like five years I've been trying to make the logistics make sense in my head And at this point, whatever And now he's parasailing Yeah Yeah, so instead of a boat, he's on three orcas So much more sense Why we did- we could have done this years ago You guys fought me on this so hard You fought me on it And I've been- I've been worn down is what it is So hard and so luck Honestly though, it's worth it Cause now that means Blackspire will be back Yeah Then as the party was relaxing after a harrowing adventure Bursting through the door came Euphigenia An older woman and a miner Working at a coal mine Slash refinery somewhere else in the firefields Who was fleeing a fight after the harriers attacked the refinery that she was mining at Yeah And she has taken refuge in Hither and Yon Sharing some information with you about Project Anvil Which she believes to be based on individuals that she knows have been taken to a secret facility To be some sort of super-sized Big Mac Yeah, so huge Super-sized Big Mac Super-sized Big Mac Uh, that is her- at least her theory Uh, that is her- at least her theory Okay And then the party made a plan Do we go and see Callum Blackhammer in the capital of Blackglass And try and take out the brains of the operation Or try and track down Colm Who is supposedly involved with Project Anvil And take out the firefields super weapon Yeah, and then Paul had a great idea Which was to use the ticking heart of M3 as sort of a spirit bomb And maybe we can effect this giant mech and somehow get it to come alive And maybe we can effect this giant mech and somehow get it to come alive In the same way we did M3 M4 M4 M4 Yeah M4 Or even- M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 M4 I mean, I got you.

Okay. All right. We're all on the same page. And in preparation for this secret mission, which seems to be the plan to go and confront Project Anvil right away, the party decided that they needed some equipment, some stuff to prepare themselves for this fight. Yeah. And Mears took them to the Lost and Found, which is where we find our heroes now. A room, maybe in Hither and Yon style, slightly bigger than it should be. Yeah. Absolutely chock-a-block full of shit. Can we hear about the shit?

Well, we're going to make some rolls for the shit, probably. I like that it ends up being a lot of weapons. It's a lot of weapons and a lot of coffee table books in there. Yeah. A lot of hoodies. That's perfect. Because what this table does is it rolls a 161D, like it rolls on 161 options. Yeah. And each option is its own table with however many options. Okay. But a lot of them are books. Fuck. Books and trinkets. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It's the last thing we need. There's weapons.

There's minor magic items. There's unique weapons. There's lots of things that it could be. Oh, unique weapons. So I think I want to give each of you one thing. You know what I mean? You're going to get one shot at finding something, basically. I'm very small, so can I have two things? You know what? Don't say yes. Yeah. What the frick? I'm medium sized. Can I have four things? You know what? Sure. Yeah. Thanks, Sean. Can I have two things? No. That's too much. Too many things.

I think we can all agree. No, it's not. You said so. How about we each get two? You get two and you choose one. No, no, no. No, no. We get two. We get three and we choose two. This isn't a negotiation. Jess, we have to respect the GM. Unfortunately. But I'm married to it. But you guys have armor and stuff. I have nothing. What do you mean? What's your armor? Plus what? Nothing. I mean, Billy can have a suit of armor. Yes.

The thing is, is that Billy, as a slippery little guy, should not wear anything too heavy. Or loud. You can basically get one armor point worth of armor without affecting your ability to move. I find some bubble wrap. What? The loudest thing of all. And Mears is like, that's not actually part of the room. I'm packing up some of this stuff in here to send it to people that forgot it. It looks really comfortable. You came out, somebody shoot me. Watch it bounce off. It's so bouncy.

It's like, Ving does like one hand with a spear up. No, no, no. So how it works is like leather slash chain mail is one armor. But anything higher than that, then you get the clumsy tag. Oh, I don't want clumsy. Yeah. So you're going to want like something light. I'll do leather. Yeah. Little leather daddy. Describe your leather armor. So I go rooting through some baskets and I find like a fun, like striped leather from a zebra. Oh, where would a zebra be from in our world?

Probably the Western continent, right? Yeah. Western. More hot weather over there. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Cool. Maybe. Oh, maybe it's where the horse tribes are from. Yeah. Horse tribe. Yeah. That's sick. I like that a lot. That's really cool. I could get something stupid. That's rad, dude. Yeah, that's awesome. You're right. I just, cause I was like unsure. I don't know anything about the horse tribes. I don't know what I was imagining.

I guess I was imagining kind of Mongolia, but maybe it's more of like a, like an African styled. I think it's like African Arab is what I was imagining. Yeah. Yeah. Like Moroccan. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Like the Bedouins and stuff like that. Yeah. Cool. Pedro Pascal is like standing at the top of a, a sand dude. He like pulls a Bedouin sash up from behind. Yeah, off the space. John sends an eagle, a falcon off the sand dude. Oh my goodness. Okay.

So Billy gets a suit of leather zebra armor from the horse tribes. Of course, none of you know that. We as the viewers now know that. I also thought it'd be funny if like Billy could fit in like the gimp mask that he was wearing. Oh my God. Yeah. Which is just like the. He puts his arms through the eye holes in his head through the mouth. Can I delete what I said? No, no. I love you. Oh, I want the gimp mask. Billy finds the zebra armor and it's like, puts it on and it bespeaks ages of history.

And then Chuck's like, Billy, do you want the gimp mask? Oh my. Oh yeah. I want that. I want that. I want that one instead. I want that one. That's great. That'd be great for when you have to get out to shit or piss. That's true. I don't want this stupid other one anymore. Get out of here. Throws it in a pile. Cool. All right. Then we'll go to tuck. Fuck. What do I need? The thing I've been thinking about is saffron based on like what happened with euphigenia. Yeah.

Like giving her that saffron drink. Yes. Alleviate. The demonic influence. Or the iconic influence that you felt hanging off of her, which you assumed to be from exposure to the smog. Yeah. Yeah. So I think maybe he's looking for like a light guard thing or like something to defend against demons or some kind of like sunstone. Yeah. Cause what, what's the, what was the lyrics of the tolling again? Cause it was instructions for how to defend yourself against demons.

I think that's what was like, always like always walk the wooden roads. Yeah. The darkness shrinks from tellers gift. Oh, what's that? Is that saffron? Hallows gift. Oh, I know that's just candles. Okay. Yeah. Candles. Hallows gift. Well, I don't think we ever established what that was. No, that's kind of cool. You wrote this song, right? I know. Pretty cool. It's really cool. I think it's light. I think it's candles. Like it's just the darkness shrinks from the light. Okay. Oh, tell us gift.

Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. A candle. A candle is tallows gift and the light that it produces pushes back darkness. Yes. Wow. You wrote this song. It's really beautiful. When you wrote it, what were you thinking that I kind of just randomly chose words. This is what happens every time Abdul just comes up with words for something. I have to spend so long trying to make it canonical. Canonically makes sense. That's perfect.

Oh, maybe there was like a, cause we said the tallow gate was important. Maybe there's a specific type of candle that came through the tallow gate where like the wick is like saffron dipped in saffron. Like it's like hemp and rope. It's like the candles themselves are thought to repel. Like demons. Demons. Yeah. That makes sense. Like saffron oil. Yeah. Saffron incense wrapped in a tallow. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. Maybe you find like a little tuck finds like a little bundle of candles.

It's the way. Yeah. Oh, the wick. And then the wicks come from Wickport and. Oh yeah. Yeah. Cause there was a, there was a Chandler's row where they made candles. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. So yeah, maybe you find like a little, you know, like how they sell candles when it's like two long candles on the one wick that you like snip in the middle. A little nunchuck. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, like four candles basically like tied together with twine that you recognize as being McCollin. Cool. I take those. Yeah.

I think people used to put the candles in their windows to keep demons out. Totally. Yeah. Which was probably like introduced slowly through like superstition, but because it actually worked. It just sustained. Yeah. And they're just like, Oh, you know, you light a candle in your window. It keeps demons away, but it actually does keep demons away. Love it. Pretty sick. Pretty cool. Bing. Also going to be cool. What does he need? Like saffron. Of course we found we need sunstone is the other one.

Things to fight the demons. Ooh, some sort of, um, I mean, we're going to somewhere where we need to be able to not breathe the air. Some sort of purifying mask for us. I think that's kind of cool. I think that is cool. Yeah. Like if you found like a sheet that was like kind of infused with saffron that you could put over your mouth, like that Bedouin version, a Pedro Pascal. Yeah, totally. Yeah.

I think the thing that would make the most sense to me out of that is finding like a pouch of saffron that you could then put to use rather than like specialized equipment, you know? Yeah. But I think you could definitely find a bunch of saffron. Yeah. I could just find a bunch of saffron. Who would have left a bunch of saffron? Mirrors. He just accidentally left it in this room. I'm in his like pantry. Yeah. And he's like, Bing, the lost and founds over here. That's those are my spices. Those.

Yeah, I'll definitely take all these. No, no, no. You're out of saffron. Perfect. You gotta give him like 40 uses of saffron. How many uses? 40 uses. Oh, yeah. This is a well-stocked pub, Sean. Five. One, two, three, four, five. Yeah. Five uses of saffron. Cool. Which I will allow like, you know, if you wanted to make like, oh, this is like a breathing thing. Yeah. You could make one with a use. It might be destroyed and you might have to make, like, another one, but you know. Cool. Thank you.

It's in like a little crystal box. Yeah. It's just in a little crystal container. Yeah. Yeah. With Guy Fieri's face on it. Proprietary saffron. Guy Fieri, who's like now like 80 years old. Yeah. Cool. All right. Now you all get a roll off the table if you want. Do it. For weird little things that you find. Let's do it. Let's see what happens.

So, Billy, you find leaning up against a wall, like its head on the ground, and then like, the handle leaning against the wall, a heavy, like, pickaxe made of like a reddish metal. And it seems like there are designs of dragons carved in the head, along with like runes. Can I lift it? It's very heavy for you. Yeah. I start crying. Is this my only chance? Is this the only thing I get? He's batting his eyes at us. Okay. I'll get, I'll see something.

And if I, if you, if it, you like it more, I'll trade you for it. Okay. Billy, this is a teachable moment. Sometimes you don't win. That might be yours. You're right. Sometimes I don't win. Start crying. You don't have to roll. Remember, we're just rolling on the table. You roll for me. You find, there's like a rolled up, it looks like a rolled up piece of turf. Billy, I found turf. Do you want it? Oh, I mean, only if you don't want it.

But you, you, you'd pick it up, and it like, unfurls, and it's about the size of like a small, like rug that'd be at the front of a door. And it's made a very plush living moss. Oh, do you want this? Yeah. Okay. Here you go. Do you want to see what I get instead? No, I want this. The moss mat? The moss. The moss is stupid. At least I can lift it. The table's just bringing stuff up. Okay. I'm going to roll again. Yeah. For Ving.

There's a small, on a shelf, there's a small, like tiny, like maybe like this, how long would you say this is? Six inches. Like seven inches. That's like eight inches. Really? This looks like nine and a half to me. About a five to six inch long, very delicately made loot. Like to scale, like a strung loot. Ving picks it up and slowly looks at Billy with his eyebrows up. Oh, it's even smaller. It's a little toy loot.

And there's little painted, hand painted images of fairies and food, and sort of like cavorting creatures. Is it a Billy sized fairy loot? I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. Billy. This is terrible, but I will take it. I'll trade. I gladly give onto you. Can I have the mat? Yeah. I kind of want to roll three more times. Okay. Because I like this stuff on here, but you only get one thing. Okay. You can't have them all. I just, like I thought we were getting weapon.

You can, well, when you say you want a weapon, what do you mean? Like you just want a sword or a knife or something? I was hoping like poison darts. But I mean, you can get anything. If you don't say what you want, you don't have a chance of getting it. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. You can get poison. You can get poison darts. That's just equipment. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want poison darts to be the thing that you get? Yeah. But I also have to have armor. Yeah. Yeah. You have armor. Yeah.

You can, if you're just looking for straight up equipment. Yeah. That's what I was looking for. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You can have darts. Maybe they're just darts from the hither and yon. Yeah. Do you mean like a blow gun or like throwing darts? Yeah. Like a, like a, like a little piece of wood and it goes. Fun. Yeah. For your poisons. Yeah. Do you have poison? It's a thing. I thought the darts would already be poisoned. You can have, I have, um, harp snake venom. You can have that. Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's a paralytic. That's pretty sick. Yeah. That is sick. Oh yeah. If you have like a bunch of paralytic darts, that would be fucking rad. So useful too. It says one paralytic. Oh. So you might need more. I might need to find more. Oh yeah. Did I say it was just one dose of paralytic venom? I did write one paralytic. Cause doses are usually like three. Do you want my harp snake scales? Sure. Trades. Trades. Yeah. Poisons are usually three uses. So you have three. All right.

So Billy has a gimp mask that he's stuck his legs and arms through and some poison darts with snake venom. That's beautiful. He looks like Neo from the matrix. Just like all decked out of venom. Yeah. So is there anything else that Tuck is looking for? Uh, I got the pickaxe. Yeah. It's a big, big, heavy pickaxe made out of some sort of red material and it has, it's got like dragons and runic writing etched in it. Do you want to roll a couple more times for me? Cause to see what else there is.

Yeah. Yeah. I like random stuff. I'll root, I'll root around. Tuck is like, I really appreciate the pickaxe. I'm just going to root around it a little bit more. Please do. I'm going to also root around. Okay. So you find a glass vial kind of tucked away in a shelf and you're like, what the fuck is that? And there are two perfectly preserved, but detached human ears. I don't like that. That's creepy. That's all I want. So we're going to take that. Okay. I'm going to roll. Ooh.

You find a bone handled dagger with a keen blade to a razor's edge. Wow. Cool. The blade is very, very, very sharp. In fact, you look at it and you cut yourself. And the handle is made of some sort of a yellowed, but polished bone. Cool. One more. No, I'm going to take the bone handled knife. Hell yeah. Uh, Ving. Yes, please. You want something else? Oh, heck yeah. None of this stuff. Is it fancy? Yeah. All right. Let's see what this one is. Uh, leather working tools made of ivory. Yeah.

A nice little, like rolled up. I can repair Billy's armor. And you can use that to make like smog masks. Yeah. Get math. Yeah. And for, yeah. Cause the mechanics wear get masks and we might have to pretend to be mechanics. Yeah. You would recognize these as being of the design that is common in the frozen North. Oh really? And it looks like there's like specific kind of all hole punches that are used primarily for like the hard, hard hides of seals, walruses and whales. Cool. Cool. All right.

Billy, do you take the little tiny loot? No. Okay. You didn't. I left it behind. It's in there. You know, it's in there. I like these blow darts more. Okay. All right. Are you guys done rifling around and other people's stuff? Yeah, man. Yeah. It was awesome. Thank you. If anyone comes back for any of these things specifically, you guys are going to have to give them back to me. Deal. Bye. Oh man. All right. So now is the plan to just hit the road? Yeah. Hit the door. Yeah. We're all armored up.

I have this little short knife. I've got my normal clothes on. Saffron candles. I'm in my gift mask. I got a bunch of leaves and some tools. And Euphigenia comes down the stairs. She's wearing her minor outfit that she was wearing when she, when she came in. She's coming with you. That's the plan. Yeah, I think so. All right. So what now? Now we have to try and get the bar to go to where they're working on the anvil. She shakes her head. Okay. Are you okay with this? I am afraid for sure.

But if what you say is true about what they're planning, I have to help. I can't sit by. Watch this happen. Stay close. You stay close. Then someone's going to have to try the door. Okay. What is the role? I believe we've done a defy danger charisma. Okay. To like try and convince the bar. I've got zero Riz. I've got three. Two Riz. Oh shit. I think I have a debility to charisma. He's got a debility to Riz. Why? I took a debility when I tried to, uh, do break in the law. Oh, right.

I clear that from, from, cause we've been in here. How many sleeps does it take to clear? Uh, it's three days of uninterrupted rest. Being in hither and yon for one day gives you three days worth of rest. Right? Yeah. So have you healed your hit points? Yes. Then you would cause it's one or the other. Can I switch that out and get rid of the debility? Uh, sure. Yeah. Okay. I can also just roll with the debility. It's fine. It's all good. Get rid of the debility.

But in the future, we will need to specify that you are, taking the time uninterrupted to heal from it. Okay. So two D six plus charisma. And what are you putting out into the air? As you try and convince hither and yon to take you where you want to go. It tuck feels really guilty for putting himself in a position where M four had to sacrifice himself to save him. So it's just this, like this need he has to like get M four's heart into another Mac.

And he's like, M four is the most metal as fuck Mac out there. And he deserves to be in the most metal as fuck metal body. Then exactly. And that's what the anvil is. All right. Yeah. Two D six plus charisma. Okay, here we go. Fuck. I got eight. Okay. So seven to nine. Not bad. So yeah, partial success, which means you're not going to get exactly where you want to go, but it's going to be close. Where do we think it takes you? Okay. So we wanted to be right beside the big project anvil.

It takes us like inside the fact, like something that's way too close. Yeah. Oh, maybe like the vengeance against, as Cole and black hammer kicks in. Oh, like you're just thinking about beating up Cole. Yeah. Cause Cole is there, right? Cause he's overseeing the project, but it's like, I'm trying to think about M four, like running through a field of wheat. Come on. Yeah. It's going on. Yeah. And then Callum, I see Callum black hammer laughing at me and going, your son had to save you.

You sucked in that fight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Such a bad job. Your image. He stabs M four. No. With like an ice blade. Like he did Billy. I'll kill you. Callum. I'll kill you for killing my friend. He's tuck his day. All of a sudden. Yeah, totally. Oh God. We're not going to the factory. No. And he's got his eyes closed. Yeah. Don't you dare my friend. I'm four. Did you fall asleep? I punch me when he touches me.

So yeah, that does sound like it would be more like a, like a failure putting you immediately in danger. So we're not doing that specifically. No, but then he like he, he, but then talk kind of like, uh, what do you call it? Like he pulls himself together a little bit. Yeah, totally. Cause he punched bang. Yeah. Which helped me, which helped me really some of my, my pent up aggression, my aggression. And then I, I see, as soon as I punch Vig, I see M four again, running through a field of weeds.

It works. Oh no, this works. Yeah. Oh shit. Yeah. Yeah. And then I see him kissing another robot. Whoa. A lot of sparks flying. Uh, if we're not getting exactly what we want and we're not objectively failing, tuck opens the door. What does he see? He opens the door and he sees like a table with a map on it in a war council room, like a bunch of generals. And then he hears like a voice that makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

And moving, moving in front of the cracked open door is the hulking shape of coal black hammer. Yeah. So you hear like his arm and like the pistons hissing steam pouring out. Yeah. It's like a massive amount of danger, but a very advantageous position in terms of like collecting information. I risk high reward. Yeah, totally. Can I discern realities? Like how many people are in, like how many people are in this room? I, okay. I don't think it's a ton.

I think it's like Coleman, maybe three others though. At least based on the voices you can hear. Cause of course you're listening through like a crack in the door and there is a bunch of like, I really, yeah. What do you mean? It's not on time. We're putting a lot of our effort and a lot of our livelihood on the line for you. Black hammer. Yes. My, my cold deposits are quite valuable. And the fact that they've been co-opted by the Royal family is absolutely on set. Unacceptable.

My name's not Lee masterly senior. My, I'm not Lee masterly. Senior. My dumbest son is missing. And now my refineries were being attacked by Briggins. If this will, it's a discern reality. So we can get some more specific information. Oh, Oh, Oh my, those are two ones. Naked plus wisdom. It's two. It's a two. You get a point of experience bill. Oh fuck. No. He's wearing a fairy child. I only have two. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm going to have to do it. I'm going to have to do it.

I'm going to have to do it. I'm going to have to do it. I'm going to have to do it. I'm going to have to do it. I'm going to have to do it. I need them. I mean, this could mean a hard move though. If you literally are peeking through the door of an extremely dangerous man's office. What should I do? I talked to you. No, Jess, I can't give him. I can't accept the responsibility of making you use. I'm just so scared of the same thing happening last time where I use all my fairy child so quickly.

And then we almost died. But you use them in such a stupid way last time. This is a good reason. He's so stupid. So stupid. Yeah, because I'm just looking around. How am I going to fuck it up? Apparently I did. Your tummy grazed the door and opened it even further. You open the door. My zipper got caught. Jess, I think you got to do it. If he finds us, he's going to kill it. You don't have to do it. Yes, you do. We'll do it, I guess. So I turned a failed roll into a seven to nine.

So now we get one question. Right. Jessica's so pissed that she had to use her hold for this. Okay. So you do it. You do it. You do it. You do it. You do it. You do it. You do it. Okay. So you get one question off the list and you have one remaining fairy hold. Jess is so mad. Oh, we all take terms of being mad. Oh, so everyone else is allowed to be mad, but not me. No, you're allowed to be mad. We're just acknowledging that it's happening.

Brian's going to be so pissed off that a lot of these shots are just going to be of a piece of paper. All right. This one question better answer everything I need to know. What here is useful or valuable to me? Yes. Good question. So I'm going to go with this one. I'm going to go with this one. Okay. So you're going to go with one. That's the one. Jess, you're so mad at me. That's a good question. I can't wait for this to absolutely come back to bite you in the ass. So fucking mad at me.

I had a whole plan and everything, but it's okay. That you were going to use your fairy gels for? No, something else. Something else. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Would it still work if we got caught? Yep. Well, then don't do it. No, it's fine. Don't do it. No, it's fine. Don't do it. It's going to be a turn. No, I totally had a plan. No, no, it's okay. It's like the late morning. I can get through a day. You can get through a day? You got one fair shot? Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah.

I can get through it. Absolutely. I'll be fine. It probably won't even come up. It probably won't. Yeah, depending how long we're in here for. Yeah. It's just shocking that you failed a die roll. That rarely happens. That's such good dice. Snake eyes. Crazy dice. That's a good dice. That's a good dice. That's a good dice. That's a good dice. That's a good dice. That's a good dice. That's a good dice. I did touch them earlier That's okay That's not your fault No You didn't touch my die Do you?

I touched all of them No You know what It's because I ate a donut earlier And it cursed me What?

A donut wouldn't do that Yeah it did A donut wouldn't do that to you Did it So yeah there's a bunch of As all these guys Start arguing with each other And uh Colm slams a fist on the table They all jump We all jump We all jump Cause we're fucking We're actually terrified We're all whiskey scared We're all whispering to each other And Tuck's whispering I'm not scared of this guy at all Why am I looking at a bunch of pee Go down your leg You're crushing my hand I'm holding things in my hand I'm not scared I'm pissing on the ground We're all trembling My teeth are tearing Shut up And he says Our plans Are close to fruition Project Anvil Is almost complete And once it does This war will end We'll be over The machine will descend On Highspear City And bring it to its knees And from there Kinos No one will stand in our way Once this weapon is in the field It is all of your responsibilities To ensure that this happens Need I remind you That this war Is in your best interests And need I remind you I am your princeps Whoa fuck Sorry I scared Scared me Jessica That was awesome That was fucking crazy Don't you dare say that again Keep going Keep going Fucking Yes I can Stay in it If I demanded That you surrender Your homes And your families You will do so If I want your life I will have it And uh Billy you see on the wall You're a little boy You don't necessarily understand But you do see the diagrams of You know like the Vitruvian man Like arms out Legs out It is a very powerfully built Mac And it looks like the exhaust Is in the middle of the wall And it's like It's like the pipes That they usually have Like the kind of bagpipes They have on their back It has Like more of them They kind of like Fan out from its back And like up out of its torso Like it would be burning A colossal amount of coal Whoa Whoa Maybe he says that To like masterly He's like Masterly You ensure That your miners Get every single ounce of coal Out of the ground Because if this Incursion Fails Because of your Inability To maintain security Of a simple mine I will take it out of your hide Personally And he bows Masterly like Like bows like Yes Princeps Now go Go!

And they all They all like trip over themselves And leave the room Literally everyone at the table Jumped Finally cabinet Gets up Has legs And runs at the room With us in it And uh They all leave the room And the door slams behind Do I take a Point of spiritual damage About how fucking scary No you don't have to Cause that's actually Sean can you take An inspiration point For how good that was Don't worry I bet I bet Mears was also like Peering through the room Like whoa What the fuck That guy sounds mad He's eating popcorn Wow No it is enough to know That you guys are afraid Uh that is spiritual Sustenance enough for me Yeah Uh and they all leave the room And they're sort of like a Creak Clunk As the door is closed Like it is a metal door In a metal frame And then you hear Masterly Crying at the other side Do you think he's mad at me?

He sounded mad at me He said My privilege is such a burden People don't know how hard it is To be so rich So we're getting out of here Get me caviar But now Colm is in this room by himself And he's looking at the At the maps and diagrams in front of him And you're only seeing like this From a sliver That's facing the door in the wall On like the far side of the room Yeah what do you do? I'm sorry Is Colm still in there?

Colm is in the room by himself This seems to be like his Quarters or something So he's like You can still hear his The engine in his armor Like As he's like Just in here Rewinding Reviewing documents Hmm And you Oh You see In the corner of the room His sword Leaning up against the wall Long Black blade This seems like a good opportunity To get more information Yeah So What is the information That we want to extract here? Is it information about the sword? Is it information about Colm?

Is it information about the war? I'd say Colm or the sword Colm or the sword? Yeah Yeah Can we see any tattoos on him? Maybe some rhyme or reason to that Oh yeah I think that you would have to look real close At least as he is Because he is encased in his armor Like up to his neck Billy Do you think your paralytic would work on him?

Yeah I was already reaching for it Interesting We can take him out of that suit And look at his naked body Really study it We have to see the tattoos he has on his body To understand What powers he has basically Right yeah Yeah Uh huh Okay so hold up the blow dart To my Mouth Yeah do it Billy You can do this Okay so this is volley I guess Yeah 2d6 plus dexterity Which I have Please please Yeah Please please I know I'll get 12 You got this Billy Because I believe in myself And I'm a great fighter You're a great fighter Billy And I have a great set of lungs here Yeah you do Nice Okay 8 plus 2 is 10 Yes Nice Okay Alright okay I get him in the fucking back of the neck Right in the exposed part Right where it like It attaches to his brain Goes straight into the brain The brain is like Right into his brain stem Right into his brain stem Right into his fucking brain And it takes him immediately Jesus He's down So okay So you lean out Uh huh And The dart hits him in the neck Yeah You can see like His eyes The muscles around his eyes Start like twitching And he is not still He still stands And then you realize His armor is keeping him standing Oh Ugh And he's not moving right now But he's just like Like he's shaking in the armor And the armor is shaking Yeah You have a good amount of time I think we know that this Venom lasts for a while But what I think What do we want to do here?

This venom lasts A dramatically appropriate amount of time You know what I mean? Like he is fighting against it right now Okay So what do you do?

Move fast Okay We get in there Yeah we get in there We get the sword Oh Throw the sword into Into hithering on Yes Yeah I get the sword Yeah You were filled with an absolute Uncontrollable bloodlust When you touched the sword Tuck grabs the sword He's the only one who hasn't touched it You are filled with an absolutely Uncontrollable bloodlust But I have weaponized dissociation Then you better fucking roll those dice Let me roll a 1d4 You are like an open Demon shaped hole Oh right I'm extra susceptible baby Remember?

Yeah You just grabbed it out of my hands I'll do that Yeah When you are subject to mind control Or magic that influences your feelings You may take a 1d4 damage And ignore the feelings That's so powerful Hahaha That's too powerful You wrote this my friend Too You take 2 damage Does it ignore armor? It absolutely ignores armor Yeah Worth it Tuck picks it up Walks it back into hithering on He's like Hey mirrors Is there somewhere Like safe I can put this?

The lost and found The lost and found I guess? Yeah Tuck Please do Overhand whips Into the lost and found Yeah And you hear a bunch of crashing As it smashes into a shelf full of stuff And then Tuck goes Don't let anybody in there That thing's dangerous Okay I think that is That is a good amount of Like time is ticking Yeah You've eliminated the sword Which is insane Yeah God this is I let you guys Have too much control over this Just now Can we take him out of the armor?

Can we try and get him out of there? Yeah I want to try and get that So you're gonna have to roll Discern reality Steve And figure out how this works Can you destroy the engine That's powering it?

Cause that Without that It won't be able to like He won't be able to use it If it's steam I can turn it to ice Yeah Oh Could freeze it Yeah In place And keep him here locked in this Like tying him in place Yeah you could definitely try that Do it Sounds like elemental mastery to me I think it is Yeah I'll use elemental mastery 2d6 plus constitution Oh Holy shit Two sixes I got 13 Oh Fuck yeah 13 Okay So two out of the three So I get to choose The effect I desire Comes to pass And I retain control Okay So You can just freeze the water In Like freeze his engine Yeah Put my hand on his back And Yeah And the end Yeah The engine goes like And he is locked in place Okay Tuck wants to walk up And try and like He basically He puts his hand In front of like Colm's neck He makes eye contact with him And he is just like Bug eyed Enraged Not moving or speaking But you can see He wants to kill you Remember me?

Yeah Yeah Tuck goes Uh Yeah Look I told you We would be back Running away was a trick You fucking idiot Shit Sean's staring at me So crazy Like his eyes are bugging out And he's breathing really hard Can I try and Is it okay if I Yeah Okay Defy danger strength I'll destroy the armor And I'm gonna just I have one hand in front of his Like in his chest And one hand like In his chest Behind his neck And try and like Just rip it In half Yeah Defy danger strength For sure Fuck you Colm You piece of shit Hurt my son Fucking stab him With a knife That he brought to the battle His knife How dare you At least stab him With your own knife You fuck Oh Fuck I got a nine I will assist So what Nine's good That's a good roll Tuck's pulling And he's just like Oh no Oh no Oh no So you feel Ving's hands Go over your hands Yeah Time Hand Time Of my life We're singing Two different songs So slowly I got a Six plus one is seven Okay So that makes it a ten I pictured that Ving like Like pumps up the Cold on it To make it brittle Oh brittle Yeah Nice That's sick So it's just this Black metal armor The ice is like Creeping through the plates And like making the The iron brittle As you Fucking Shuck this dude Like an iricorn Just Punk Punk Punk Shatter the Breastplate And it reveals The body of Colm Blackhammer And the grievous wounds That he is covered in Oh shit Shit The wound that That Ving dealt him Like through the neck With his own sword Is still there Open He's covered in like Gashes And cuts That are not Healing They're not healing?

Ew And his body You're now looking at Could not support The weight of the armor That it wears It couldn't even swing The sword that he wields What the fuck?

So he's like This like shriveled He looks like Captain America Pre-serum Not quite He's like Ham sandwich Darth Vader Kind of He looks like Like he was a previously Very fit man Who has Uh Relied on his car For too long Kind of Or like Like gone too hard In battle And been Like too reckless And been struck down But kept alive somehow Like he should have been Killed a hundred times over But he's still alive And Through Those cuts and gashes You see A series of tattoos That seem very familiar I want to Discern realities Alright 2d6 plus wisdom Uh oh Oh no I'm gonna replace my My Use what the bones know To replace my Two with a five And then Plus my wisdom Yep Yay Is ten Holy shit Nice That saved the day Good save Cause if If that was a Failure Colm was gonna come too Like he was gonna Shake this venom off Wow Uh so you get three questions Off discern realities What here is valuable To us In terms of like What kind of tattoos Yeah Like what the deal With his tattoos are Yeah So you're looking at these And they seem very similar I mean they are Similar to the The tradition of like Magi tattooing Like the chaining Uh tattoos But the iconography And the symbols Used in the tattoos Seem like these are To allow him To interface With!

The iconic realm Instead of the Spiritual realm Whoa Holy shit What? Interface how?

Ask that next Who is really In control here In terms of The iconic influence Um So you would assume Just using the information That you have And like having Touched the sword before That it's to Interact More effectively With whatever icon Is in Inside the sword And looking at the Tattoos And sort of like The colors And constellations Because we've talked about How the constellations Reflect the icons Right yeah So Ving uses Night moves To read the tattoos Yeah he basically Uses night moves And the constellation That you see That you decode In the flesh Of Colm Blackhammer Is the icon of slaughter Whoa Huh And you would assume That that is the icon That is contained In his sword Is that the only One that's in there?

I do like the idea That there's maybe like Two or three icons That are kind of like It could be something That's one or two That's one or two That's one or two That's one or two That's one or two It's wildly opposed To slaughter Discipline?

Yeah discipline and slaughter Oh Because he's the head Of the army Yeah Honor It could be something That was old Like honor Oh Oh Yeah like it was When he was younger It was the icon of honor That he like Was He willingly That was like He took on the icon of honor Yeah Willingly Because he had like Ideals that he was Trying to uphold So he was a different Person before But then through the like Influence of the Gibbousman Gibbousman He introduced the icon of slaughter to sort of like corrupt calm over time maybe not just the gibbous man but also callum like because they're twin rulers right and callum is the little finger yeah so it could be like they were two brothers that balanced each other out in terms of like shrewdness and honor and I think maybe theorizing yeah this is all allegedly allegedly allegedly their clan they had this like connection to the iconic realm that the gibbous man gifted them and they saw themselves as like chosen not knowing that it was a corruptive thing yeah and every ruler chooses an icon that they connect with and because these were like two brothers they each chose their own and one was honor and the other one was shrewdness and then the shrewdness was used to manipulate callum into like manipulating calm into turning into like this disgusting war machine that's cool I like that and I like the idea that like for this family it's been a secret practice because the icons are not worshipped yeah the principalities at all yeah but it's like a secret practice amongst this family yeah yeah so I like that so the tattoos that you see on his body reflect the icons of honor discipline and slaughter and slaughter is the most recent tattoo and seems to be the one that has affected him the most and lust I could only see the top of this uh down here it's like a tramp stamp but uh so basically you were able to split because his armor is very strong you were able to split like the front of it off so these are the tattoos you can see like across his like chest and shoulders but his arms are still locked in the arms and um his legs are still in the armor billy with your kind of danger sense you can tell you can see like in his micro movements and his muscles this paralytic is going to wear off pretty soon I want to lock the door okay yeah so you run over there is a key like in the lock yeah and just which door the one to hither and yonder no the one to uh that led out of the room okay I lock that and you're able to pull the key out of the door too so you now have the key I take it oh I know wait sorry can I backtrack yeah of course yeah okay billy does lock the door to hither and yawn and then I also grab the key from like the boardroom and we lock coleman there like the room that we're in right now yeah like I want us to leave it and then we lock coleman in there and then we lock coleman in there and then we lock coleman in there and then we lock coleman in there and then we lock coleman in there and then we should get out totally yeah we're leaving to hither and yawn or to the hallway to the hallway yeah I think this works I take whatever papers look like plans to this like this huge project yeah you hop up and like rip a thing off the wall and then you like gather some stuff off off the table and then tuck goes billy I'll remember the map and he looks at it really hard thing just walks over and quietly rolls the map for two seconds his nose starts to bleed come on come on I was hoping to destroy the rest of the suit somehow we could destroy the suit first leave the shell of the man uh-huh I think yeah if you you you would guess that if you were to like destroy destroy the engine then the armor would be useless it's it is fully powered by this engine on his back oh and you virginia is standing in the doorway of hither and yawn my god she's just staring wide-eyed at all this stuff that's going on and she like watches you all kind of standing around being like do we lock him in or do we lock him in or do we lock him in or do we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then we lock him in and then and interesting.

Tuck gets scared and a little hard for you, Fajita. It's an older woman. She seems tough, of course. Effie. Effie. I'm composing a poem in my head for her right now. He turns away and he's like, oh my god, dear diary. I've met a new woman who's a little bit older than me and seems kind of mean. She's perfect. I'm under her spell. And yeah, if you go out the door and lock it behind you. Yep. We shove the door of the Hither and Yon closed. And then, yeah, get out there.

On the way out, Ving wants to put a hand on Colm's shoulder and just say, you could do better than this. And he's just staring straight ahead. Spit running down his face, shaking. And yeah, you close the door on the other side, you lock it. It's got one of those wheel latches as well. Oh, cool. Like one of those old style vines. Yeah, exactly. And you step out into the hallway, which is metal, and the walls are metal, and the roof is metal, and there's like pipes running all over the place.

And we start whistling casually. Can we act casual? You can definitely try to act casual. Effie, do you know where we are? How we get out of here? She's holding a hand up to the wall. She's like, I've never been here before, but she feels and kind of listens. What underground? Deep underground. Underground? We grabbed the map, didn't we? Yeah. Let's see if any of the papers that you grabbed, Billy. Yeah. Start rifling through. There is like a fire. It maps out the fire exits to the facility.

So you do find a little layout. Oh, we took the practice binder. Yeah, so it seems like this is a, um, you know, there's like four levels. There's a lift that takes you up to the surface, and down to each level, and then it's got a layout of all the different rooms. Should we go up to the surface and try and get a lay of the land where we are? Yes. Is there anything down here? Should we discern reality and try and find some costumes?

Something that will at least let us blend in somewhat or anything? Sure. Yeah. Yeah, you can discern realities about the map. Six. Okay. I'll help. You do. Yeah. Two to six plus bond. How's Billy helping? Trying to read. Shit. Five. So as you're standing here looking at the map, you hear, hey, hey, here we look up. And there's like two people in like armor with weapons. It goes, thank God you're here. We just heard that three creeps snuck into the facility, and he starts walking up to them.

And then as soon as he gets close enough, he's gonna try and like punch them. Okay. Yeah. Two to six plus charisma for Defy Danger. Here we go. Yeah, that's twelve. Oh, awesome. Okay. Yeah. And he's like, oh my God, thank God you're here. Thank the black flame. And now I want to punch them as hard as I can. Okay. This sounds like it might be a scrap of ass maybe. Oh, yeah, because it's being a piece of shit. You're trying to like get away, right? Right.

On a ten plus with a hack and slash, I can forego damage to get away. So basically, yeah, that's what I'm doing. Sick. Please give me a ten plus, God. Oh, no. It's the wrong number. You called on the wrong God. We're gonna have to do this. I have an ass. Why would you ask God? I rolled a three. I have a plus three. That's six. Oh, I'll eight. Yeah. Okay. How are you? He comes up behind them and knocks their head together. I got eleven. Okay. So that makes it a seven. That's a seven.

So I do, I can't at least deal damage. Ving swoons. Distracts them. Okay. Yeah. So you're just dealing your damage here. Ten. Whoa. Yes. Five each. So describe you are gonna take one out. The other one is not out, but it's close. Yeah. So tuck, tuck, tuck. He like he runs forward with his hands up. He's like, oh my God, thank God you guys are here. Boom. Boom. Just one, two. One of the guys just slams into the wall to the left and is knocked out cold.

And the other like sees that happen and then throws his hands up and you hit him in the like forearms and smash him into the wall. But he's not quite out yet. And Tuck goes, please, I need your help. Get a roll of duty six to try to try and what? To try and convince him. No, absolutely not. No way. Not a chance in hell. There's a plant in the hallway that Ving throws at the guy. Yeah, but yeah. Okay. There you go. So that's a hack and slash. I got five. Okay. Go ahead and roll D8. I guess.

Holy shit. What's your armor? Two. So this guy draws like a like a metal club from his waist after Tuck slams him into the wall and brings it up out of the ring that it's like hanging from his belt on. And just clips Ving in the jaw. Fuck. Like blood out of his mouth. Billy, this is a scrap now. Yes. Your dad's in a fight. I'm gonna defend. Okay. Yeah. Sick. 2d6 plus. Who are you defending? Ving because he just got fucking clobbered. Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah. 2d6 plus constitution.

Oh, no, you're Invisalign. Eleven. Eleven? Eleven. Holy shit. Okay. Fuck yes. I kick him hard in the nuts. Well, it's defend. So you gotta look at the moves. What a defensive wall. What a move that is. I defensively destroy his testicles. I stand in defense of a person, item, or location. Yeah. I rolled eleven. Yeah. So, oh, right. So I choose. Yeah, you can use you have hold now that you can spend. I have three hold. Yeah. I'd like to have the attacks effect or damage to Ving.

How do you distract him so he you take half the damage? I kick him in the nuts. I defend him in the ball. Yeah. Is that allowed? That's absolutely allowed. Yeah, totally. Yeah, I stop. Stomp his nuts. So he Stomp. No, okay. Kick him in the nuts. So he swings at Ving and as his club is coming up you kick him in the nuts. Yeah. And he goes Oh! And then he kind of like grazes Ving and then he like just whaps down at you and you take three damage. I take three damage? Bitch. Oh, man.

Just to be totally honest, I think I should have taken damage there because I rolled a seven on a hack and slash. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Go ahead and roll a d8. Okay. That one. A diamond one. Diamond. Double diamond, yeah. Four. Yeah, so he Oh, but I have armor now. Yep, so you take one less. Yeah. The guy that got knocked out got knocked out but the dude, like, he hits Ving and then whacks Billy and is like sees you and is like, wait a second, I was supposed to hit you too.

And then just stabs forward and kind of jabs you in the forehead. Fuck! But yeah, he's still up and Euphigenia's like kind of running around on the outside, not sure what to do. Um, I have like two more holds. Do I use them all at once or do you? You can use them whenever you want in the fight. I would like to deal damage to the attacker equal to my level. Yeah, so you deal five damage. You just straight up deal five damage. Perfect. Sweet, I kick him in the nuts again. Fuck! And the other one.

Tuck and Vig are like, oh! Fuck! God, Billy. I mean, good work. So that is just enough to take him out, actually. Yeah. Passes out from getting kicked in the nuts twice. You hit him in the nuts twice. And he goes, oh! No! The fact that we reset for most men. Twice. Sorry. He just kind of slinks down the wall like, holding his nuts. And then he just goes, stop! I'm done! I don't want to fight anymore! Don't defend me anymore, please!

And then Tuck grabs him and he goes, tell us away to the anvil or else I'm gonna let my son kick you in the nuts again! I'm like, stretching my quads. He's got one foot in his hand and he's stretching it out. Yeah, I'm getting myself a good quad stretch, like, getting ready. You're doing the rookie of the year thing. Yeah. Oh, man. Oh, no. You're gonna have to parlay with this guy. Okay. God, you failed me once. Please don't fail me again. Or else I will forsake the Islamic religion. Thirteen.

A law was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whenever we bring a law into the equation, it always works out. It's like he shows up for us. Great. Maybe I should be celebrating Ramadan right now. Yeah, Jess, I got you so many hijabs for Ramadan. So many. I'm so cold right now. It is freezing in here. Think of how warm you'd be in a hijab. I'd be so warm. And he goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, please, not my nuts, again. I can't take it anymore. Made my way for trying for a third.

We'd be lucky to get to two and a half now. Okay, great. And he's like, all right, you're on the second level right now. Of where? Of the facility. Where's the anvil kept? And he holds up a shaking finger. His other hand gripping his shattered nuts. It's here. And there's a huge square on the map at the far end that says anvil. Are we on the right floor? It seems like every floor is the floor for Project Anvil. It's a big project. It's huge.

So it just opens up to one of those things where it's like balconies or walkways everywhere. And it's like steam. Oh, okay. We walk up and we open the door. Can we get any more information, do you think, from this guy? Something useful about the weak points? Oh, yeah. Did you have any more things to ask? It was just a parlay. You get whatever you want from this person. Well, not whatever you want. I think he's given you the information he's willing to give.

How loyal are you to the Black Hammer twins? I would die for the Black Hammer twins. Fuck you. Tuck kisses him on the mouth. What the fuck? How about now? Well, I mean, oh, wow. Tuck is married. I'm married. I'm a married man. I shan't be tempted by hot flesh anymore. I heard you and your wife are looking for a third. Be gone. What a great joke. That is a great joke. It's like a perfect joke. That was really neat. Be gone from me. Leave me in my devastated nards to be. Leave me, please.

You saw nothing here today. Okay, let's go. Let's go fucking find the anvil. Run. And you're running. Running through the tunnels. And Tuck, as we're running, goes. What are you doing with your dice? You're shaking them already. He's running. He's going, you Virginia, it was really cool how you spat on Colm's face. That was sick. Thank you. Yeah, I don't like him at all. I think the Black Hammer twins have the worst thing that ever happened to the fighter fields. We have so much in common.

And then he goes, this is so us. Guys, did you also like how I put my hand on his shoulder? And then Bing touches the side of his head. He's like, I think he's waking up. I marked the animal. Oh, shit. Good job. That's so cool. Okay, that's so sick. Guys, guys, I did a thing. And you see through his eyes, the eyes of Colm Blackhammer. And he's like, yeah, he's now like forcing the arms of his armor up. You can hear like the junk junk junk junk. Like he's trying to get it to turn over. Oh shit.

And he reaches down to like his side. And rips a cord. He's pulling the choke like a kid trying to start a lawnmower. It's just not working. It's just not going. Ah, fuck. I flooded it. I think so. I think what it is is he pulls that cord and the engine doesn't start and he reaches over and there's like a lever and he like cracks the lever down and the armor kind of like settles onto his body. And then he's very slowly moving towards the door. Okay.

But he's got this like shattered armor on his chest. He's so slow now. And you can see like Ving the way he's moving his body. He doesn't have that like explosive power that he did when you faced him before. And he reaches towards the door, pulls on the thing and it's locked and he starts fucking reefing on it. And then we hear a crazy scream like animal rage kind of like locked up paralyzed. He unlocks his vocal cords. Yeah. And he's like, I'm going to take a shot of that.

And you see him stop and look to the corner where his sword should be. Yes. And then look to the door where you came in. No, I locked it. I was just trying to freak you out. I got freaked out there. My armpits hurt. I got freaked out there. No, I locked it. I was like, Jessica, you should divorce Shawn if he makes this happen. If he takes mirrors away from me again, I'm divorcing. No, don't put this on the table. Don't put that on the table, please. I have to, no. Narratively, I have to.

I have to do it. I love you. I love you. Yeah, so he starts reefing on the door, and you pop back into your body. It would be kind of cool if he went for the door, like, for the hither and yonder door, though, and it's, like, shaking, and Mears is like, oh, shit. Oh, that would be, that would look really cool. And Mears, like, tries to get the bard. Bard will leave? Yeah. Oh, because it didn't leave? It didn't leave. That'd be wild. The door's locked, but maybe because the sword is there.

Oh, no. He can't leave. The camera sees this. Not the players, not us, but he tries the door handle, and on the other side, Mears is at the bar, and he looks up, and the handle's shaking. Oh. And then, boom, the door shakes in the jam. Whoa. And he puts his hands on the bar, and he's like, come on, go, go, go, and the shutters won't close. Boom. No. And then we cut back to you guys. Whoa. Did I kill Mears? Oh, my God. Jessica. Don't let this happen. That basically means that you divorced Sean.

You didn't put the sword in Hither and Yon. But you did have the idea to do this. I didn't want. He's not going to die. Don't cry, Jess. Don't cry. He's not going to die. Remember, this isn't that kind of show. We're not just slaughtering people for no reason. I don't know. It just is a really cool visual. Jess, he's not going to die. Okay. Okay. He's fine. We just got him back. Sean, do you pinky promise me that Colm's not going to get in there? I can't pinky promise anything. Jess. Oh.

Oh, man. Did you say pizza? She said, please. I don't know. It's more exciting. It's more exciting. I promise you it'll be fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll just be exciting. Okay. So you are running. Okay. Well, actually, Ving, you see him turn towards the door to Hither and Yon. Yes. Yes. And you see that he tries the door and it doesn't open, which I will say that that would feel to Ving as that meaning that Hither and Yon is still on the other side. Yeah. So you might now have a choice.

Do you continue on to Project Danville? Do you go back? Do you split up? Should we split up? I think that I have eyes on his eyes. If he gets in, I could probably see, and then we'll go back if it gets worse. Yeah. Okay. How do we feel? And Mears is a buff boy now. Yeah. He knows how to fight. Oh, yeah. He's a big, burly. He's a big, burly innkeeper. I feel like maybe even the audience remembers Mears as being skinny little 14-year-old boy. He's 18 or 19 now. He's got big, broad shoulders.

He's got a little bit of a belly. Yeah. He's got big blonde hair and a ponytail and a big, cool metal arm. Yeah. I understand. You're right. It's cool. It is cool. It's cool. He'll be safe. It's cool. It's cool. It's cool. And also the fact that the door stays locked means that the Hither and Yon is also protected. Yeah. Even though it can't leave, it's locked itself. Hither and Yon does not admit anyone with ignoble intentions or I'll intent. All right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

So you keep hustling down the tunnels? Yeah. I think you're going to start encountering people. So what is your plan for when you find individuals that work here? We punch. I don't know. Yeah. I'm going to roll fight with honor. Okay. Yeah. Do you need a break? You're so distressed. I am very distressed, but that's okay. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. I think it's the cake we had for pre-dinner. We did have some cake at the mall. You guys had a fucking cake while I was at the gym?

Yeah. Before we went for dinner. I'd go to the gym too, okay? I can eat some fucking cake once in a while. Sean, don't say that. The lunch place we wanted to go to, it was closed until 3.30. We had to go get cake and things. We had to kill time. There was nothing we could do to stop ourselves. What could we do before eating? That would have been better than eating cake or the gym. I see. We couldn't have went to the gym. We went outside. I see what happened. We went outside. It was windy.

It was cold. We didn't want to be in it, so we wandered. To cake. To cake. To cake. Sean said the word cookie. We went towards where that was. Pretty great. It was tasty. It was good. I enjoyed my cake. Okay. So you're rolling fight with honor. Yeah. Okay. To just give yourself some points. To have some, I'm ready. Okay. So you're rolling fight with honor. Yeah. Okay. To just give yourself some points. To have some, I'm ready. Okay. Yeah. My senses are heightened. Oh. 10. Great. There you go.

Whoa. So that's what? Three? Three chi. Three chi. So you're like, preparing yourself for battle. I have to put that image of Colm knocking on the door out of my mind. Yeah. And yeah, you got to just like trust in hither and yon. Yeah. Trust in mirrors. And as you're like hustling down, you're following the map. You have like the map in front of you. You're kind of like holding, pulling it down, taking a turn. Yeah. You know what?

I feel like as you're running down, you're like, oh, I'm going to get a little bit of fun. Yeah. I'm going to get a little bit of fun. There's a guy coming up to me. There's a guy coming up to me.

Wanted with like keep watch we took down the refinery and we fucked up the mac and they know what we look like somebody comes out of the bathroom while we're running we just stopped and trying to act casual but like right in front of the poster we're like reading the posters and we're like there's someone like wheat pasting one of the posters onto the wall of a tunnel and they turn and see you and they're like what the fuck boom so yeah you're encountering a little group of of uh guards and and workers here what do you do uh can I use I'm a bad guy now oh yes I'm gonna go straight into that yeah that is explicitly combat so that wouldn't be yeah okay so I would roll plus wisdom wisdom to call upon my winter form your wisdom is currently plus zero because of your summer form I need help I can give it to you I'm um rolling up for a fight with honor I'm like yeah gearing up billy and talking up let's do this side of the tiger yeah cool I like these guys image that like billy's running down the hallway at these guys like tapping into the winter form as it's like icing around him and bing is like kind of zipping around like knocking guys out of the way as billy moves in and eating more ice yeah oh six okay this does take all three of us yeah yeah go ahead roll it yeah yep that's uh nine okay so that makes that a seven which makes that a seven yes which means you're all gonna maybe take some damage sure this is exactly like the image I've always had in my head for the fight scene that plays to annie up yeah oh yeah right so I just really wanted to pull it up to imagine this is like you guys are running down the hallway billy's icing stuff up and he's like tapping into the winter form you're running down bing's knocking people out yeah billy's coming down the middle all iced up and then tuck bursts onto the scene to help there's a couple of doors open and more pile in and he steps forward kicks the door off of its hinges into a group of guys puts them in a different room and closes the door yeah yeah so billy I'm about I'm a bad guy now yeah I terrifying enemy okay so you're running down the hallway uh tapping into the the ancient warrior spirit that lurks within your winter form of my old like like winter face oh yeah like the the tree guy it's like a frozen tree or something like that yeah so gross and like skeletal yeah and tuck like kicks a door off its hinges into a crowd of people yeah bing's slipping and sliding around like freezes his feet in place in front of this giant billy the guy that billy stares down initially freaks out and runs like trips over himself sprinting down the hallway over dmx as he sprints buster rhymes is there uh but they're all like there's a bit of a lashing out from some of them so you know what you're all gonna roll a d8 eight damn seven fuck six holy shit we just took so much damage so reduced by your amount of armor I'm gonna block a blow for me or someone else and take half the damage okay so yeah holy shit these guys are well trained yeah they're giving and they're giving as hard as they're getting but uh the absolute terrifying countenance of billy in his winter form is enough combined with the obliterating damage of tuck hitting people with a door and bing using his skilled martial prowess while no one is defeated they are run off oh all of them are gone yeah they all left yeah this was enough that you terrified the people before you there weren't that many there was like four or five maybe okay uh but they have scattered into the facility if you want to chase these guys down I don't think we have a lot of time we gotta go I think we just start wanting to get to the anvil yeah find our way there yep and uh following the map and kind of running with some of the people that you were fighting what are you doing what the fuck I keep on by keep on by I keep on by keep on by he keeps kicking his foot into his other foot I surrender I surrender yeah tuck keeps giving one of them a flat tire you guys are just bullying people down the hallway and uh one of them goes through a door and they open into a cavernous hangar what level did the guy say you were on two the second level so you come through this door and you're facing like a massive chest basically a huge bosom powerful you come out onto a catwalk maybe five feet deep that rings a room and uh you see this like huge torso and towering above you like 25 feet above where you are you see a huge dome shaped bell shaped head like you did on the smaller max but with like like a spidery amount of lenses covering this thing's head of all different things and you're like oh my god you're like oh my god you're like oh my god you're like oh my god you're like oh my god you're different sizes the shoulders extend where you are to like huge piston biceps as big around as a house holy shit and this thing is like you lean over the railing and look up and look down this thing has got to be almost 150 feet tall yeah we think it's the building that holds the mech until we realize it's the mech yeah totally yeah we have that like moment where like our perspective readjusts in our heads and then we're like holy shit this is a mech somewhere around a a shoulders a bird flies yeah totally oh my god yeah it looks so small yeah I'm a huge bird okay yeah so that's what you see you lean over this railing this thing is 150 feet tall you can see the four other levels kind of above and below you so we're right at the heart height yeah kind of yeah you are yeah I want to discern reality to see if there's any access to the chest uh yeah 2d6 plus uh wisdom uh you got 11 okay so you get three questions uh what here is useful or valuable to us uh not from the side that you're on but like on the opposite side you see a gantry that like extends into a catwalk that accesses the engine and boiler in like the back section of the mac is it like a crank thing that extends it yeah it looks like it's got like a chain like okay so that would be your best bet at accessing unless you want to like take a flying leap onto the front part of it what's your alignment again billy pretty chaotic I call him danger arms out like swan eyes closed can't lose can I do it you catch me fate wait let me have one more question oh sure yes uh what should I be on the lookout for uh more guards probably this is the heart of the facility there are people fucking everywhere yeah um are they really fucking everywhere there are people fucking everywhere there are people all over the place um being hard of the facility there are guards there are mechanics and technicians there are laborers and you've probably only got a little bit of time before the alarm is fully raised what here's not what it appears to be very good question you see the fan of like uh pipes that you saw in the diagram which whatever this is burning it feels like this thing might be a dual purpose just looking at the sheer amount of pipes in their placement some of it is being arced in places that don't make any sense mechanically yes um I think that was picturing that some of it goes up and some of it goes down like he can use yeah he can spray it with his hand there's smokestacks in the oh yes so you see pipes running down like the arm section oh like it could direct the smog that's the biological weapon part of it it's not just a giant mac it is designed to be a giant weapon and it's not just a giant machine it's designed to spread the smog specifically it runs on so much of the coal takes so much to drive it that it puts it as as an output and then can channel it as well and that's part of the weapon okay so you've probably got I'd say 15 more seconds before somebody notices you what do you do a jump onto it I run down this so-called gantry you'd you'd have to get all the way to the other side to the gantry or you could leap from where you are a leap from where I Oh boy.

Okay, so you're probably about 100 feet off the ground right now. Is there any chains near me that I could swing around? Oh yeah, probably. I bet you could find a thing to swing yourself over on. How far away do we think it is? Probably not super far. I think it's probably 20 feet. 20 feet from the walkway to the front of the Mac? You could do it, Billy. I've seen this in Crash Bandicoot so many times. Oh, totally. Okay, so 2d6 plus dexterity, I guess, to grab a chain and swing yourself over?

Yes. Does anyone want to come with me? I will come with you, but I'll let you do it first. Because I feel like you… Were you offering to carry me? There's lots of chain to grab. Yeah, I will come with you. Okay, cool. Yes. Ten. Yes. Okay, cool. So Billy swings over, you grab a chain and… Fuck yes. Yeah, and you grab onto a little handhold. And you swing in such a way that currently no one has noticed you do this yet. So you have… Yeah, I look like a fly, honestly. Exactly.

No one can see me, I'm so small. Yeah, and the armor plates are so big you could slip in between some of them. And I'm wearing the gimp suit so I blend into the darkness. Yeah, totally. Tuck and Ving. And you have a genia who's like, what should I do? Is there any way that you could cut power to the alarm system so that the alarm can't sound? Okay, I can try. Thanks. Virginia, you're welcome. You're a really special lady. And then Tuck jumps. He can't bear to wait to see her reaction. Oh my god.

All right. I throw the chain back your way. Yeah. Here we go. Slap. Do we think this is dexterity? I'm trying to clear the whole thing in one go. So no chain. Just straight. Jumping right past the chain. You push the chain back and it hits me in the face as I just jump as hard as I can. 2d6 plus strength. Here we go. Because dexterity I have… I have negative what? Great. Great. Oh. Yes! 11! Wow. Nice. So the only downside to this, you absolutely like grasshopper. Your powerful quads. Yeah.

Send you sailing the 20 feet. Yeah. And you slam into the front of the Mac. Who can say where the wall is? And people start looking over your way. Ving, what do you do? I'm going to try and run around and jump for the boiler. Ooh. So you would have to be… You'd be running past people to go over there. I'm going to deal a damage to a foe within reach and then leap over the… Across the physical obstacle. So I want to like run and then deflect off a guy's face onto… Sure. Yeah. Looks so cool.

Go ahead and roll your damage. Two. Great. So you run over to a guy who is starting to turn and being like, Hey, who are you? He does like a surprising amount of turns and twists like a gymnastic. So sick. And on the way by, he just slapped. He just like upside down, slaps him in the face as hard as I can. And then jumps off of him onto the Mac. I'm using my hand off his face. Yeah. Yeah. And you land on the big Mac. Yeah. It's like Crouching Tiger hitting dragon levels of like defying gravity.

And now you're all on top of the Mac and people are starting to lean over and point and shout to each other. You see Euphigenia running towards like a terminal with a bunch of pipes and cables coming off of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Get it. Oh, to like, to pull an alarm. Okay. And she like grabs them, but she's kind of like struggling with this person over top of the alarm thing.

So she's held it off for now, but she's not going to have long. Do I not have a weapon? Can I just throw my spear at the guy who she's struggling with? Yeah, you probably could. Your spear would be all the way over there. You also have your bandolier that does have some stuff in it, but it's not unlimited. Okay. Ving is like, hey, Billy, watch this. Oh, yeah. And I grabbed one of the bandoliers. And I wouldn't one. And I crush it in my hand and then open it up.

And it's like this whittled Arbutus, like hard, hardwood. Whoa. Cool. Put it in my hands. Blow dart it through my hands. Great. So you can use nature's fury and volley. This is just a ranged attack, but you'll deal a D10 instead of a D6 because you're using your elemental bandolier. Great. Love it. There we go. Okay. The roll volley 2D6 plus dexterity. I got 12. Yeah. So you just deal your damage. It's a D10. 10. Holy shit. You killed this guy. You straight up. Oh, shit.

If you want his life, you can have it. I notice it's the guy that Billy kicked the balls and I hit him right in the nuts. With the dart? Yeah. Whoa. I send it as fast as I can. And he goes, oh, no. That's so stupid. And he falls to the ground. And Euphigenia points at Ving and gives him a thumbs up. And then Tuck goes, good job. You totally ended that guy's line. He's not. You're never going to have more kids. You will not. Ended the line with the two kids. Those two kids don't count.

They must be duds. He wanted another one. That's the only reason to want more kids. My third. And Euphigenia hefts her pickaxe and smashes the console in front of her. Sick. And she really hopes that that dealt with the alarm. But there's no way to know. Okay. Okay. What are you guys doing on the Mac here? I'm climbing. Towards the boiler. We got to get inside of it. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. Get under the plates. Yep. Okay. Do you want to go to the boiler and we can get under the plates?

Love it. Okay. So Ving clambers up the other side and you're standing in front of the boiler. It is colossal. It's just like chamber after chamber after chamber. Boilers, tubes, the little things that are like spoons that spin around. You know? Oh, yeah. The little wheel of spoons that spins for some reason. Yeah. To indicate pressure or something. That's what it is. Yeah. Dials, gauges. There's pipes everywhere. What do you do? Is there a way to open it?

Can I discern realities to see if there's a little… Mm-hmm. Oh, ouch. Plus wisdom is seven. One question. What here is useful or valuable to me? There's like a wheel that you squeak to the side and it unlocks a hatch that swings up from a boiler chamber. Okay. I open it up and I pour in the hibernia water. Okay. This is your last hibernia water. Yep. And yeah, glug, glug, glug. The hibernian water hits the boiler. And mingles with the water that's already in there.

That seems to be like suffused with sort of the inky, sooty, coal influence. Can I put some saffron in there too? I'm just making a whole concoction. I throw one of my saffron uses in there. Yep. Get rid of that saffron use. Nice. And you dump a little pinch of saffron in there just to dabble, do you? You know that. And it drops into the water. And you can see like dish soap and pepper, like that old experiment they used to do. Oh, yeah. With pepper water and the dish soap makes it go whoop.

Like retreat from the soap. The soot does that from where the saffron touches. Billy and Tuck, you're on the front. I would like to figure out like where there's like a gap, I guess, that we can get into. This is discern realities probably. Go for it. Eight. Oh, yeah. You get one question off the list. What here is useful or valuable to me? So the massive front like chest armor plates are hiding what appear to be just like a mass of pistons. And you've dug around in a couple max now.

And Tuck, you had some experience. With M4, like extracting the heart at all. Yeah. It's almost like sheets of muscle. The amount of pistons that are in here. There's like strata of pistons that go down into its chest. And you're squeezing yourself through. It's hard to get in because the sheer density of machinery that's in here. But you, Billy, you work your way in and Tuck, you like pull the heart out of your bag. Yep. And holding it up, you can almost see where it would fit.

And it's quite deep in the machine. Billy, here, take M4's heart. Can you get it to the heart of the machine? Yeah, I could do it. I don't know what it looks like, but TLC do. And I shove the axe in because they're the ones that took it out. They might be able to help you. Yeah. Right. You shove the axe through the gap. I'll drag it with me. Yeah. Yeah. Very carefully through this delicate machinery. Yeah. So I zip my gimp outfit and tuck the heart in and zip it up.

And then I'm dragging the axe with me. You baby with a diaper dragging a teddy bear. Come on, guys. We're going to go find the heart. And you hear a door slam open. Behind you. I look and shambling through the door in the shattered remains of his armor. Thing looks up. Calm. Blackhammer has returned. And in his hand, his sword. Oh, fuck. No. Yeah. I don't like that. I don't like that at all. That's so. Yeah. Yeah. That's so cool. What have you done, Jessica? I fucked up. That's what I did.

That's so funny. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdulaziz. So long. Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Loppers. Take care. Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye. Thank you so much to all of our supporters around the world. If you'd like to support the show and become a patron, you can join us at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. Get access to a bunch of cool shit.

Merch, the up-to-date Mall Brats feed, streams, our up all night system playtests are up on there too, which have been super fun. And video episodes, full video episodes, which you could be watching right now. If you were a patron at the Very Fine Chef level or higher, you're going to love them. I can't stop thinking about how I look now that we record. All the time I'm thinking about how I look. You're going to love watching my face, not be sure what I'm doing.

Thank you so much to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. Thank you finally, and most of all, to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time. And so ends the… Tale of Adventures 3, who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be, for time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more, whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly spout more.!

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your game master Sean O'Hara, joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz Hello everybody Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers Hello everyone And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hello When last we left our heroes, they were recovering from a devastating landslide Caused by… Hey!

Question mark, question mark I don't know who did it, I think it was all of us Yeah, nature Yeah And the price that one must pay Ugh There's a ton of work to be done There's a ton of work to be done trying to explain to me. Tuck was buried beneath layers of stone, held aloft by the shattered body of M4, the Wormack that the party had become such close friends with.

With the help of Larry, Terry, and Chad, Tuck recovered the mechanical heart of M4, hopefully containing his essence, as it ticks on still, mixed in with the organic flowing iron that Bing saturated M4 with earlier in the day. Following this, with the help of the Harriers, Tuck was able to escape himself from the landslide, and the party left the shattered facility behind. Mission complete? Oh, yeah. I feel like we did a great job. Oh, yeah. You can't use that refinery anymore. Yeah.

What refinery? Where was it? We destroyed the refinery and the vein of coal and obsidian underneath. Yes. It's unmindable in the future. Yeah. And returning to the camp deep in the woods with the Harriers, the party received some medical treatment, medical attention, and sent a message down the bowstring line that the Harriers use to covertly communicate with one another, archers sending messages back and forth.

They discovered that Callum Blackhammer, their next supposed target, is currently in the city of Blackglass, right in the capital, doing his thing, while Colm Blackhammer, location currently unknown, seems to be working on preparing something called Project Anvil. So cool. Some sort of… Sick name. …secret weapon that the Riverways Alliance has discovered and is currently terrified of.

The party was preparing to make their next move return to Hither and Yon with the information and attempt to get closer to Callum as Billy found, buried beneath some moss, a portal of black obsidian carved with a great eye. The gibbous man, using his influence to spy on the party through the obsidian, drew the ire of one Tacoma, the dome. Mm-hmm. And like somebody who gets startled on the porch, punched him in the face immediately, turned in fear, smashed it. Yeah.

Smashed the portal that flinders. Yeah. It's stand your ground law. I'm protected by stand your ground law. Revealing a yawning chasm into the earth, steps leading down to some sort of ancient altar, Billy in his fairy form, for protective reasons, decided to descend as Tuck and his demonic sense discovered in this tunnel. …in this tunnel. …in this tunnel. …in this tunnel. An icon of judgment.

So Billy descended, finding carved murals in the sides of the tunnel, not unlike the dark guard churches that we have discovered in the past. So cool. Realizing, through the connecting of dots and the feeling that he gained from the carvings, that the Magi, the dark guard, the Church of the Black Flame, all fit under the umbrella of the Eye, a cult committed to the worship of the gibbous man in the night sky. And based on the name, the Eye, likely the spider.

Wait, is the Eye connected to the spider? Yeah. Or the spider's eyes. Yeah. Because the eyes walk like men. Mm-hmm. Whoa. Scary as hell. Our show's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. It's actually neat. It's pretty cool that like eight years ago, we talked about a coin with an eye carved in it and then that eventually connected to like an ancient spider god. Yeah. I like that. It's pretty sick.

Billy was rebuffed from, from the entrance of the tunnel by the demon of judgment, or the icon of judgment rather, who deemed Billy unworthy, but not before he received a vision and the information that the Black Hammer twins may be part of a family descended from ancient Macaulayn Magi, the first to use the blood of spirit walkers and wizards to chain powers to their own mortal forms. What this means, we know not.

As Billy was returned to his body, the party heard, a great crashing in the trees. A Wormack, feral in its countenance and frantic in its movement, came bursting into the glade, ready to do harm to them and their allies. In a last minute maneuver, Billy sent his bill of the wisp into the trees, distracting the Mac and causing it to run away from their allies as they themselves dove through the door of an outhouse into hither and yon. Oh, thank God.

Slamming the door behind them, that is where we find our heroes. Now. Ugh. Ugh. That was so scary. Oh my God. Oh God, it smells like shit in here. Mirrors comes out of a bathroom next to her. Yeah, you hear the like toilet flushing sound and he's wiping his hands off. Sorry about that. I was just cleaning out the privy. God. I was pumping it out. Was that you? Who dropped that? Nothing. Nothing to worry about. What's going on? You, are you okay? Uh, yeah. No. For a moment.

Smash cut to all of you sitting at a table. Mirrors is like ladling out soup into a bowl for each of you. Wow. So that's basically what it is. This far into the show, that's how I'm going to handle you coming back to a character that doesn't know anything. So that's, yeah, that's basically what happened. Whoa. Yeah. Did you like how I described it? It was, honestly, it was really cool the way you described it. Were the act outs too much? Yeah. Like, Billy and Vang are, are, In leotards? Yeah.

Oh God. And all their props, like, I don't know. I'm dressed like a big cloud. Yeah, you're dressed like a cloud. Billy has like a bucket on his head with like metal, like on his arm, like forks on his hands. Yeah. I've got all the pots and pans like piled on me, like the, the like metal, uh, mech snake bug thing. Oh yeah. We put the corrupted Wormack costume on Francis. Aw. Aw. When you say the corrupted Wormack costume, what do you mean? You don't have one of those.

It's a chair and a brown blanket. There you go. Perfect. Yeah, beautiful. And yeah, so Francis like shakes his body and the blanket falls off of him. He taped a bunch of knives to him too. Make him really scary. And he is because now there's like a thousand pound pig covered in knives walking around the room. Ah, fuck. Sorry, old boy. Too far into my role, you see. Chuck's wearing a cloud that is a black cloud. It's a frowny face on it.

You know, now that I think about it, I don't understand what the clouds symbolize. Because the gibbous man is making pollution. Yes. And I'm the clouds before he got to the- He's the good cloud. Oh, okay. I see. Wait, should we start again? No, no, no, no, no. One, two, two, two, two, two, three, four. The music starts and you guys start dancing. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Wow. Okay. So the gibbous man is using the coal to spread his influence. Looks like.

It's to spread his influence and it's also to like re-substantiate himself, to gain more power for whatever's coming. Huh. And what has he said what's coming? The anvil is something. Have you heard it tell from any of you that are travelers of- No, we haven't had any soldiers come by. Some secret weapon maybe. I haven't heard anything, but you guys can always check the mail slots. Mail slots? Yeah. Where are those? We have mail slots? Yeah. All of the room keys have associated mail cubbies.

People leave messages, so you can always go check. I'm going to go check. We've never checked it, so it's full of junk mail. Full of junk mail and flyers. Yeah, there's like pizza coupons. There's a lot of emails from like debt collectors and ducks. There's a lot of letters with threats written angrily. Yeah. There's a lot of like promises from a Panusian prince and things. That's true. It's a letter that says, hello, sir.

I have reached out to you because my father, the king of Panusia, has died. Oh, no. You see Ving flash back to Ving like putting money in the envelope and licking it, sending it off. I would like to you control a hundred million gold coin, but require bank information to transfer. Please send bank information, Kenosian bank or Sunstone directly to me. Guys, how much money do we have? So what in all this is useful or valuable to me? Yeah. Okay. Two to six plus wisdom to discern realities. Eleven.

Yeah. You see a little rolled up piece of looks like scrap paper that looks newer and not as covered in cobwebs as the rest of it. And you pull it out and it's covered in writing. From who? Well, you are illiterate. So there's actually no way for you to know. Oh, yeah. I pass it over to one of you guys. So you hand it off to whoever's closest. Mears. Mears takes it. He goes, oh, it's from Perel. They must have come by when I was asleep, I guess. Anyway, cut back to that. Oh, yeah.

Mears is like in an armchair in front of the fire, fully like head back and the arms and legs splayed. Like. The door bashes open. With two men riling and searching. They're using it as a fuck closet. They're grabbing each other so much. The shop. They look at Mears' paws. Okay. And they go back to it. It's okay. He's sleeping. You're so fucking smart. No, you're smart. They just boom, boom, boom, boom, like up the stairs to their room. Then later we see Perel.

Perel come down with like his robe, like around his waist and clutched across his chest. Typical like after sex outfit. Yeah. On the way to pineapple juice. Yeah. And sliding a piece of paper into the mail slot and then taking a slug off a jug of pineapple juice and storming back up the stairs. Go Perel. Ding, ding. Round three. Good for them. And the letter says, hello, this is your friend Perel. I have returned from the high spear tower. Work goes well. It is a masterpiece.

No mind except for my own. And also that of my lover, Morris Swag. And also my other lover, Aquaria, would be able to uncover such mysteries. All right. Skip to the next paragraph. And because of our three combined minds. Scrolling, scrolling. Keep scrolling. We scroll through the letter. The scroll. Yeah. Once in a lifetime. Nay. In all lifetimes. Right. Yeah. We scroll. Yeah. We're scrolling. Okay. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll. Anyways.

This is like when you get a letter from like your 65 year old aunt. Yeah. There's a lot of dot, dot, dot that don't need to be there, but make you feel like there's tension in the writing. And there's no exclamation points like millennials put in all email communications because they don't want anybody to be mad at us. Yeah. Yeah. So it's just a bunch of periods. And we're like, what the fuck is Perel so mad? What did we do to him?

My email signature at work has a thanks exclamation point in it automatically because I know that's what I'm going to do. So what do we think he has told you here? I think the long and the short of it is anyway, understand basic infrastructure of the high spear. Now turning it to our use will take longer. Turns out the wizard that made this thing. Was insane. Wow. Understand basic infrastructure, but layout is arcane. Capital A. That's great. We'll return in fortnight to rest.

If you need anything, leave a message. Love Perel. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. We can also because you guys scrolled through a lot of the information. If you have more questions, we can pull it back to them. Yeah. Because we're trying to get information on. Yeah. If they knew about the anvil. Yeah. There's anything about the anvil. What? Here's not what it appears to be. You scroll back because there was some stuff that he did kind of slip in.

His writing style is very confusing because he'll like go kind of thought by thought. So he was talking a lot about how smart him, Aquaria and Morris are. And then every once in a while would be like, oh, yeah, by the way, I remembered this. Yeah. Oh, someone creeping around outside the high spear. Morris grabbed them. High spear intelligence talked about something. Something. Something. The anvil. Okay. Why didn't he highlight this? This is one useful thing. Couldn't get much out of them.

Turns out they don't really know a lot about it, except for it is some kind of machine. Okay. Maybe like a mega Mac. Ooh. Ooh. Like a big Mac. Yeah. Like one of those Pacific Rim Kaiju things. Yeah. Like a Jaeger. Yeah. Yeah. Like eight stories tall. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Max add up to a big one. Like Voltron. Oh my God. They're Voltron. Oh no. They're doing that. Voltron right now.

That'd be so sick. Sick. Is what Tuck says. Maybe we shouldn't stop them. I kind of want to see this. I want to see it happen at least once. Right? Like a big set piece. I mean, we have all this money for production. We have to have a big set piece. I've actually been dipping into it. I'm going to do that for a Panujan Prince. Sorry. Sorry. He needs it. His dad died. And this isn't something that Perel would add, but more context that I would be adding for you.

So if it is a machine that would suggest that if you wanted more information, the Firefields has like a huge logistical pipeline. So you could get more information if you hit other facilities potentially or kidnap somebody that is related to like the engineering core. I like that the scroll has like a residue on it. And we see that it is like black coal, almost like obsidian. So it's like, oh, it's really heavy. Things are really popping off there. Yeah. There's like smog all over the place.

Oh, yeah. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe he says that. Yeah. That is. Yeah. Another part of the letter. And it's sky. Yeah. You see fingerprints, black fingerprints, smog everywhere. Feels bad to breathe outside. Staying inside. That is the thing is like we were getting into a lot of fights when we were in the Firefields Principality. I think it might have been part of the effect of. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Staying inside. Morris getting on nerves. Yeah. Yeah. Morris sucks.

Yeah. Tuck is like, hmm, that's probably why I did so bad in that fight. Right, guys? Yeah. Well, actually, Tuck does know that he is resistant to demonic influence. But maybe there's a way that. Ving says. Yeah. Could be one. It might make him feel better. Yeah. Maybe my resistance to demonic stuff is going away. Yeah, it could be. Oh, yeah. It's making you weak. It's making you weak. Oh. So it's not really your fault. Oh. You know? Oh, I feel so weak. I feel so weak.

Maybe it was that demonic influence that abandoned me in the fight. Yeah. I don't think it was me. I think it was the effect of the smoke. Yeah. He was possessed by the demon of running away. If we just fought inside next time, he'd probably be really strong and buff and brave. Yeah. Unlike last time. Mm-hmm. I think you have one more question. What is about to happen? Ah. What is about to happen? How would Perel say this? I mean, it's the smog thing.

Because he doesn't know what you know about the smog right now. Mm-hmm. But you would assume that anywhere on the front, this is going to be worse. Right. Like, it wasn't for some reason as bad where you were, except in the refinery where it was clearly affecting the snake. It was affecting Tuck. It was affecting lots of stuff. It's affecting the workers. They might be using it. Yeah. That's why he's so weak. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Right? Which, I wonder if this is a dot that you would connect. If you have experienced the smog and what you know about what the Gibbous Man might be doing with it, this might connect you to the idea that the anvil might have something to do with the smog. Yeah. Oh. Like, they're using it like a mustard gas on a big scale. Yeah. Like, it's almost like a biological weapon. Whoa. Chemical warfare. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Especially if it's spreading too high spear.

Like, it might be something to do with them wanting to spread it. Yeah. As far as they can. So, Perel has made it clear that you can leave a little message here for him if you want. Okay. And, um, did Oman come back? Um, Oman is yes. But, no, but like, when was the last time we saw Oman? Yeah. When was the last time? We did get a message back and then we, we wrote, did we write a message? You. Because the last communication I sent was through Black Spire. Yeah. Remember? To her. Yeah. To Farah.

Was when I was in his head and I coached him through writing. Uh-huh. War is coming. Bad. Frowny face. Right. Yeah. Let Black Spire go or else or something like that. Or else. Or else. Vote bad. I guess the big question that I, the reason I'm asking is, is there anything that you are hoping to get from Farah or anything that you want to tell Farah? I want to know about Black Spire. I want to know what the library is up to. Uh-huh. Those are the things.

Then I think we, this, we're at the cubbies. Yes. We're at the mail cubbies. Yeah. This is the place for it. Yeah. You look up in one of the cubbies and kind of. Peeking out of, uh, like squeak, squeak, squeak out of one of the little cubbies is a little bookworm. And I like, we brought it up earlier that one of the cubbies is like a little mini hither and yon. It's like done up like it's his own little apartment. There's like a little like, um, like wool mattress and like a scrap of fabric.

Like a, that's like a blanket. Yeah. And like definitely, uh, mirrors has made little miniature furniture for. Yes. There's like a little miniature mirrors. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's like a little miniature mirrors at the, behind the bar. There's a little chair and then like a little tea light. Yeah. That's the fireplace that he's sitting in front of. Francis. Yeah. I like this. Molded of clay. Yeah. And then also like the food and drink.

It's like a thimble of water, a tiny piece of cheese. He's got a little stink bug in there that is his pet. Yeah. So cute. That's so cute. And, uh, yeah, he squeaks out and kind of nods his little worm head and, uh, starts crawling down towards one of you. I put my finger at. Yeah. Squeak, squeak, squeak. And his wings unfold from his body. They have a black dust on them. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Little guy. In the little, in the crevasses of his wings. Can I read his wings? Yeah.

It's just an update from Farah basically. Cause last time you told her about the whole gibbous man thing. Yeah. And she gave you back some information on that. The first thing that she says is black spire is gone. Yes. Fuck yes. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. God. In the little like shorthand. So Tuck kind of needs some help from Vang a little bit to read it. Cause it's in like the library. Cause he thinks he's dead. Yeah. Oh no. Oh no. My dog died.

No, no, no, no. He's gone. He left. I hope you understand the blow that this has dealt. Pathomazoological research. I'm like don't care. Yes. The blow this has dealt from blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Is what we read. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. No one was hurt. Repairs are underway. Oh, shit! Minimal casualties. Repairs are underway. Casualties within acceptable parameters. Wow. She's more of a librarian than ever.

Right, you can read this because you trained as a librarian while we were there. I do shorthand. Yeah. War is coming? Please return with more information. Research underway into Mother Never Was. Eyewitness reports difficult to obtain. Folkloric sources primary. What would she want to know? I mean, she's really upset that Black Spire is gone for sure. If war is coming, we must prepare. Please return at earliest convenience. Return message at earliest convenience.

We read it, please return at earliest convenience. And you guys are like, oh. Back to McCall then? I'll pack my stuff. Season 7, anyone? The podcast will never end. We'll just start right back from the beginning of Season 7. We'll keep looping. Mirrors is like, if you do need to go back to McCall. She doesn't want us there. And Black Spire's on his way. We can't go back now. What does that mean? Where is he on his way? Wait, so how is he going to get to you if he doesn't know where you are?

Catch the guitar bass. Oh, okay. That's made out of his scale. I assume he can track this. And also you have a connection with him. So what do you think is going to happen when you guys start popping around and hithering yawn with him trying to find you? Also, how's he supposed to get over here? A dragon can fit on a boat, Sean. So do you think he's going to buy passage on a boat? He's a dragon. They're going to run away from him. He'll find a way. He'll figure it out.

He'll figure it out, right? I just think maybe, you know what? I'm going to make some plans. I'm going to think about this a little bit. Thank you. I have a sneaking suspicion that you guys haven't thought very much about it. Obviously, he's going to get help from Cerulean Depths. She's going to ferry him over across the Sea of Graves, drop him off nearest to us. He's going to tune into Tuck's mind and he will follow us. It'll be no problem. He's totally well suited to traveling.

He's a nice guy, very brave and big. No one will bother him. And then when he finds us here at Hither and Yon, he'll just come through the door where he will fit. And then we'll be together again. The end. And then we, after Billy explains this, we cut to Blackspire like roaring on the edge of the ocean being like, Ah! It's so big! Help! I don't see them. He's just, he's sitting his front legs are in front of him. His back legs are sticking straight out. Cause he's sitting on his butt.

He's just like, Oh man, this ocean's fucking huge! It's freezing! He like tries to go and he's like, That's the dog thing where he goes in a little bit and then the waves come out and he's like, And his tail's like swishing like, he's so agitated. He's like, Walking back and forth like, He's doing the cat thing where he's going back and forth across the fucking ocean. Hmm. How do we reach out to Cerulean? Well, I think someone has a Mother of Pearl scale. I do. Oh!

I'd like to use it in this vision. You're gonna have to roll for this for sure. What would it be? Okay, so in the past we've used Communion of Whispers to use this like spiritual connection with the scale to connect with Cerulean Depths. Uh, yeah, okay. I'll commune with the Whispers of the scale to try and get her to go to the edge of the sea near the library. Great. Yeah, go ahead and roll that. I think it's 2d6 plus wisdom. 2d6 plus wisdom? Um, I got 9.

Ooh, I will help with my connection to Black Spire. Okay. I am down with the connection being your connection to Black Spire allowing you to aid Bing. I would like to know how you are aiding Bing. The guitar pick. But like, what does it look like in how you're aiding? It's on the scale. I have the scale. Yeah, you have the scale and then you feel my arms come in from around you. I've had the time of my life. That's not the right song at all.

I miss my big black white dog and I never felt this way before. That's a different Patrick Swayze. It's the truth and I owe it all to you and plus bond is 8. So that 8 makes it a 10, which means I lift Bing in the air. So we fully bypassed ghost and went right to dirty dancing. You push me up so fast that Whippy Goldberg's ghost can't stay in my body. You've poltergeist to me from Whippy.

And as you are Bing, it's perfect as you're lifted into the air in the common room of hither and yon, you kind of bop into a chandelier a little bit. A crystal chandelier? A crystal chandelier. Which amplifies my connection. Yes.

And this sort of like, as Tuck is lifting you up, your arms are straight out holding the scale with the Black Spire's guitar pick in it and your vision begins to cloud as you feel this like, your body is straight out and long and sinuous and sub-aquatic as you course through the waters of the Sea of Graves. Blue extends all around you. You are exhilarated in the enjoyment of your beautiful serpentine draconic form. Swimming alongside is the matriarch of the orcas. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

A grandmother. Yes. Yeah. Grandmother orca swims beside you. I'm the matriarch of the orcas. Yes. She is vaping. How's it going, babe? She has to go up to surface to blow out her smoke. She's vaping through the blow. Yes. Which is a series of drawings I started, so I wanted to say it on mic. Yeah. That's great. And Cerulean Depths is like, I'm just so glad that you came with me for this swim. You know, I've been feeling really stressed out about all the cracks I've been finding in the pillars.

It's been really messing with the abalone, and I just haven't been able to feed like I used to. Yeah, I know what that's like, honey. The fish are getting freaked out as well. One sec. Whew. Back down. You don't have to stick to this voice if it's so annoying. I think it's really funny. I'm the patriarch of the orcas. Eee. Click, click, click. Slapping her sides. One sec. Let me just call my nephew. You. Oh, really? Yeah, what is it, Grandma? They sing so beautifully. But they talk like shit.

They talk like shit. And, uh, you feel yourself in this body feel a presence of yourself in this body. Hmm. As Cerulean Death stops and goes, Spirit Walker? Siri? Wow. It's been years. It's been a long time. Was that you I felt a moon ago seeing through mine eyes? It was. Wow. What brings you to my… Hey, Depth Snow. I'm checking in on our friend Black Spire, a fellow dragon on the shores of the library's east shores. A fellow dragon, you say?

It has been many moons since I have spied one of my kind. Hmm. Not so… Illustrious as your kind, but a dragon hidden for an age. As it has ever been. That poor whelp. I will reach out to him if I can. I'm- wait, sorry. What was that? Bing? Huh? Bing, you're breaking up. Ah. You break- B- B- B- Sp- And then, the connection is abruptly severed. Huh. Abruptly? Mm-hmm. Hmm. What was that? I don't know. Did you feel anything? Well, you're- Chuck's just like- Yeah, Chuck's- Chuck's quivering.

Chuck's quivering, and he like, looks up, and Bing's got a boner from talking to Siri. Hey, I was- Ugh! And I'm like, He keeps- Dumps him onto the ground. He keeps batting me in the- I landed on my dorsal fin! Um… Do you hope- I hope that your message got through. I don't know if it did. The seven- Wait, that was a ten plus. That was a ten, I forgot. Yeah. While I was doing it. Yeah. Let's reel it back a little bit. So he lifts Bing back up? Back up.

Yeah, you can feel- You can- You hear like, Da-do. Da-do-do-do-do. Wait, this- This Skype one? This Skype sound? You're like, Oh, wait, somebody's calling me. Quick, lift me back up. The Skype- Why? Why the Skype one? It starts with an S, who cares? Sorry about that, Bing. Yeah, the bubbles? I was driving through a valley for a little bit. What were you trying to say? I need you to reach out to Black Spire. Oh. The dragon. Black Spire. Can you give him a lift back here?

Is there any way you can facilitate this? The Sea of Graves is a dangerous place currently. Yeah? The pillars, they crack under the weight of ages. Something's wrong. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. The! Oh. Oh. Oh. We will be shut down by the estate of J.R.R. Tolkien. But I will find this dragon and you wish me to bring him to you. If you can.

If you can find a boat big enough, that would be great. Send me an image of this dragon using the power of your mind. But I borrow from Tux to give to. What does Black Spire look like in your mind? It's the image of him on the shore, like pawing back and forth. He's now like, how white is he now? Like 50-50? I think he's kind of like a tuxedo cat looking. Like he's got black, but he's got like white stripes. And maybe like his front paws are kind of like white now. Maybe his chest is white.

Yeah, he's got like a little. Oh, he's got a white like long diamond on his chest. Yeah. With like black ringing it. Yeah. White like band around the top of his head. Yeah. He's on the shore, like one of the beaches outside of Wickport, like pawing back and forth. Drawing so much attention. I want to be clear. He's a dragon. Oh, yeah. These things are not common. There's a crowd probably. There's a crowd. There's like city. There's like city officials that are like, this is a problem.

There's newscasters. They're pushing. They're like. Talking into a glass bottle. They're like the animal control guy who's like with a net. Like, no, no. They're pushing. Go, go. And Black Sparrow's doing his little. Pow. Pow. Pow. He's trying to get them away from him by doing the. Yeah. Sudstone paps. Why does he keep doing this? I like the idea that there is a newscaster talking into a glass jug. There's no camera or anything. They're just describing it all. I'm here on the.

There seems to be some sort of giant reptilian, maybe some sort of cute cat. And he is on the shore causing a disturbance reported at 1159 AM. He seems to be a dog sometimes and a cat sometimes depending on what's cuter. And there's a guy with like a giant jug that looks like one of the water cooler jugs. He's holding it like a camera, like a news camera. Catching all the ambient sound. There's a rubber tube over the top that goes into the guy's hand and he's talking into a funnel.

And he's like, holy shit, the technology in this world is so weird. There's a bunch of like on plan air artists set up like just like painting the scene. Oh yeah. Oh man, there's going to be so many beautiful postcards of this scene later on. Yeah. So wait, how did Tuck get this image of Black Spire on the shore? Oh, do I have to try and connect with him? Well, I thought, I mean, he was aiding me. I was aiding him. Oh, I see. He had me lifted up. Yes. And then Ving had his arms out.

And then he just reached down and touched the side of his head. Yes. Yeah. And that connection using the like void inside of Tuck's head. Yeah. As like a focusing beam. Yeah. Connects with Black Spire. And you get this first person image of him sitting on the, you see him looking at the ocean boats kind of sailing by. Yeah. Going. Ah, so fucking big, man. And then he looks over and there's a crowd of people and he's like, get the fuck out of here. I like that they start taking photos at first.

He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. He goes into the drum like one of your friends from here. Oh, hey. Does that like what he did with the librarians? Yes. Yeah. Get my delts. Get my delts. Oh, look at this. Yeah. Yeah. But he has, all of his like, fuck, the ocean's so big, comes out to everyone else's like sad puppy whining. Yeah. Oh, and Cerulean hears that and she's like. Oh, what a young hatchling needs my help. As an elder dragon, I will. Hey, this young pup. Oh.

She can't go in shallow enough, so she has to send the orcas in. Yeah. She's like, granny, you got to come with me and we have to save a baby. She's like, whatever, babe. You know I'm up for anything. There's no fumigating my place for another 72 hours. I can go till two o'clock then have a poem. I'm getting a poem. I'm getting a poem at two o'clock. We see the orca. For the first time, she's got kelp all over her head.

Huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, huge, Kelp. Kelp. Wavy kelp. Yeah. Oh, you know, like when animals are like old in the ocean and they're like plants start to stick to them. She's got kelp growing out of her head. Rosie's giving me a poem at 2 p.m. Giving me a poem. Give me a kelp poem at 2 p.m. Let's go save this kid.

She pops the cigarette in her lips and it just hangs there. Nice. Nice. And then the shot shifts back to the, sorry, she's smoking one of those subterranean, like, volcanic vent worms. Yeah. That's her cigarette holder. Yeah. She's got one of those vent worms. And then the shot shifts back to, like, the newscaster and the crowd on the beach. And then you see, like, 18 dorsal fins pick out of the water. And then it turns into jaws. And the guy's like, get out of the water! Get out the shore!

Get out of the water! And then you see all the boats, like, try to do, like, a quick U-turn, but so slow. And just getting, like, annihilated by orcas. Orcas hate boats. We know this. Oh, yeah. There's an orca, like, jumps out of the water and, like, elbow slams a boat. And the last scene that we see before the connection is severed by the tumultuous nature of the Sea of Graves is Black Spire sitting on the back of three orcas with his paws in the air, like, wakeboarding on these orcas. Yeah.

And he's carried off into the sea. It is. He doesn't have anything that's, like, hair. He's got no hair. Well, he's got the plates on his back. Oh, and they're all, like, clacking. Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. And it seems like Black Spire is on his way. Cool. Now, we must recall the Sea of Graves is large. Yes. I allowed you the hilarious narrative freedom to say that they find him right away. It would have taken a long time otherwise. Okay.

He is on his way. Yeah. Sure. And. We'll remind you guys that we spent easily 40 minutes on that scene. Easily 40 minutes. Sounds like more. It was worth it. And it was fun. It was fun. And as we all know, at the same time, two evil twins are trying to take over the High Spirit Principality. And that's where we're going to leave it today. But if you want to send any messages back to Farah, the bookworm, are we saying, is this Oman? I think Oman has been in your hair this whole time.

Yeah, but we can. Bring Oman out with him and his buddy. Yeah. Yeah. Write an extra long message to Farah. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what do you want to send back to Farah? What do you guys think? We got to tell her about the scary door we went into. Right. And the royal family. Royal family. Yeah. The mechs. The pollution. She knows about some of the pollution, but they don't know about the full. And the refinery. Project Anvil. Project Anvil. Question mark. Question mark. Yeah.

I should only put one, but I wasted a space on two. The High Spirit stuff. So you're just going to give her a rundown on everything that you've done since you've talked. Which, as a reminder for the listeners, is Morris and Perel are trying to hack the High Spirit to try and rebuff the Gibbous Man's influence. There was the thought. Morris had a thought that he could potentially use the High Spirit to reach other wizards that were trapped. Right. In their bubble universes. Right. Yeah. And that.

So I will tell her that. That the Magi and the Dark Guard and the Church of the Black Flame. Are all the same organization. Yep. And they're all working for the Gibbous Man. Mm-hmm. The smog is a way for him to resubstantiate himself. Mm-hmm. And it's building in the High Spirit. Yes. It's spreading across the fire fields and it's making its way into High Spirit. And it, yeah, seems to have some sort of destructive effect on the people that have contact with it. Yeah. Yeah.

And then, oh, anything else? Tuck ran away from a fight. Yeah. Tuck ate shit in a fight. He betrayed us. Yeah. Tuck looked away from a fight. Tuck looked away from a fight. Tuck looked away from a fight. And for a second, he looks back and it's there. And it's like, what the fuck? You're gonna tell her that? We have to tell her everything. We don't know what's important and what's not important. It could be the smog. Yeah. It could be. Add that. I should have. So condescending. Add that. Add.

And then Tuck goes, and now we're gonna go kill Cal and Black Hammer. Love, Tuck. Bing. And the bookworms, Oman. Is that a handprint for Billy? Yeah. Oman and. And we need another name for this. Other guy. We need another Arabic name. Yusuf? Yeah. Oman and Yusuf. They nod. One of their little legs comes up and they give a salute. And then they unwrap their wings. Could it be his antennae comes down and gives a salute from his antennae? Oh, yeah. His little antennae salutes.

Oh, it would be so sick if the back of the mail slots had the same property as the back door of. Yes. Everything about this is miniature. Yeah. I like that. Because we were getting messages from all over the world. Basically, everywhere we've lived, there was like a utility bill from Cash's apartment. There was like a bunch of shit. Yeah. You have a like a coupon sheet from that falafel place on Abu Dib Road across from Cash's. Yeah. There's a coupon from Vong. Oh, yeah.

Some junk mail from Vong's. I'm writing for After Midnight now. Yeah. By the way, I'm really successful. But yeah, I think these mail slots work where it's like once you take up residence, it will like basically like. Grab correspondence for you. From anywhere you've ever lived. Whoa. Like any mail that's like lost essentially comes here. I like that. That's very interesting because the bookworm slot seems to suggest that this place was built with bookworms in mind. Oh, cool.

Which is interesting because like there's basically a little hatch that they can go out of and bookworms only exist in the Margani Library. Oh. So that's very interesting. It's a place that many people have come to stay over. Maybe a librarian stayed here one time. And was like, I'm going to build this little thing. Oh, I like that. I love that. That's when they wrote the quiet time sign from 10 p.m. To 8 a.m. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was wondering why that was in Macaulay. Yeah. That makes sense.

Wait. So can the worms just go right out the back into the library? Yeah. It's like a little flap. Yeah. No, but what I'm saying is like they don't even have to fly there. There's no travel time. No. That's amazing. They just squeak, squeak, squeak. Yeah. And then pop right out. Squeak, squeak. Yeah. It's like a tube in a factory. Squeak, squeak. It's like an old tube in a factory. Oh, yeah. It's like a whoop, whoop. Yeah. Man, I fucking love those things. Madden tube. Yeah.

So your message has been sent to Farah. She has been brought up to date on everything that you have done since you talked to her last, including getting a dragon to break out of the library. Yeah. That was one of the things. We sent someone for Black Spire. No apology. We did not send for an apology. Which is another dragon. She would love to have known that. Yeah. Yeah. And not just another dragon, but like an eight, like centuries old, massive. Elder sea dragon. All right.

You guys have finally finished checking your email. Tuck at a certain point. Just like did a select all delete. If it's important, they'll send another one. Just email us again. Damn it. Oh, that had all his banking information. That wasn't done. Oh, no. The king of Benuja. His fortune. I guess now what is your next step? We can play through the night. Like we can have scenes and you guys can fill stuff in or ask mirrors questions or talk to Francis or whatever, or we can just cut forward.

I do want to know about Project Anvil. Yeah. It's I think this would be just because of the secret nature. Getting straight info on this is going to be tough. Yeah. But you might be able to glean some information with a discern realities. And discern realities. Eight total. So you get one question. Okay. Off the list. Yeah. And you're all sitting around resting. You know, you're like sitting in armchairs and mirrors has made some tea. Mm hmm. And you're just chatting and sleeping.

And the door opens. The Heather and Jan's front door. And you look and there's like a middle aged older lady. She. What does she look like? A little. Like a minor. Yeah. She looks like she's like sooty. She's kind of ropey. I like that she has a tattered version of a Harrier's cloak on. Like somebody gave it to her to help her keep her safe. Right. On the run. Yeah. Living, surviving in the cloak. Yeah. And there's like a hole in the back with dry blood. Like it was somebody that died. Mm hmm.

Oh. One of the Harriers had died. And she. So then in that case, if she's running away from something, the door opens like bangs open and then slam shut. Yeah. And there's this woman like pressing her back against the door. It's okay. And all of the shutters like slam closed. Yeah. And then slam open again. And then we're in a completely different location. Yeah. All right. So I guess you guys were sitting around. Yeah. And then the shutters all closed. Yeah.

And this woman burst through the door, slammed it, and then the shutters opened again. Uh huh. And she's just looking. Get all of you. You're safe. I walked into a shed. Shed? Shed. If you need to use the lavatory, it's upstairs on the left. It's freshly cleaned. And she just kind of like slowly walks through the room. My name's Ving. Okay. Are you hungry? Yes. All right. And then she walks up the stairs to where you said the lavatory was. Shit is shit so bad.

And then she comes back down like 15 minutes later. Yeah. We order her like a big meal from Mears. And she comes back down the stairs. I'm just going to say how I imagined her. So she's pale. I think she has like shortish blonde curly-ish hair, but she's older. So it's going like gray. Uh huh. Kind of gaunt face. And like her nose is like long and kind of like pointed. Uh huh. Dark rings around her eyes. Yeah. Very dark rings around her eyes. And she's cleaned up. She's not as sooty anymore.

It looks like her hair is wet. Yeah. Like she might've just done the whole deal. And as she's coming down the stairs, you hear, Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Kiss me up beneath the Premier Key Trail. And it's a middle-aged woman just walking down the stairs in a hither and yon bathrobe. Yeah. So this is some sort of hotel. Kind of. It's a place that shows up when you need it. Ving slides a bowl her way. Yeah. And we cut for it.

And Mears is pouring soup in her bowl. And she goes, wow, that's a lot of things that's happened to all of you. Thank you for filling me in on the nature of this place. That's okay. Were the lights too much? No, I actually liked the moving spotlight. It helped frame the action in a very interesting way. Okay, because we spent a lot of money on those lights. They look expensive. Chuck is holding Big Up in the air. You can put me down, Big Guy. You can put me down. I liked the song.

Thank you very much. I worked really hard on it. I tried to do all the harmonies. Could you hear them all? Could you hear the harmonies? I've never heard one little boy do three-part harmony before. He does them like this. By putting his fists up to his head. Through his own hands. Where are you coming from? Oh, you know, just around. I was just on a stroll. No, you weren't. You came in here pretty fast. You're wearing a cloak of a herring. And she looks up at Bing when he says that.

Did you kill him? No, but he died. He died saving me. Did you come from one of the mines? I did. There was an attack on a refinery. What happened? I don't know the three of you. I can't just give up all my information. But you did get a question off the list. What happened here recently? All right. Yeah, fair enough. All right. Only because you haven't given me up yet. I work in a mine, coal mine. So about four days ago, there was an attack on a refinery. And… A vein was destroyed.

And the rest of the mines have basically gone on lockdown. And there was some source of… Some people attacked one of these harriers. And it didn't go so well for them. I tried to make my way out. One of them tried to help. Got cut down. I ran into a shed. Just looking for a place to hide. Safe place. And I ended up here. And she, like, is digging into the… Well, the soup. If you found your way here, you must have needed it. So you're welcome. Welcome to be here. She nods. What's your name?

Euphigenia. Effie. Effie. Nice to meet you. Good to meet you. I'm Tuck. I'm Ving. Billy. Mears. That's Francis. And Mears comes and pours, like, a steaming cup of coffee. She asks for something stiffer. And, uh… Glug, glug, glug. Pours some other smoking liquid into it. What were you working on at the mine? I was just digging out coal. Was there any big project going on over there? There's been word of it. Not at the refinery. But after the invasion started, we started digging deeper.

Into veins that we hadn't worked on yet. And, uh… They are working on something. I mean, you could charm this lady. Like, you could use… I don't have any fairy child. It's been a few days. You can roll fairy child. How bad is it? A six. Okay. Have we said we can't aid with fairy child rolls? No, we… You guys have explicitly aided before. Okay. You just need to tell me how. Um… I stole a bunch of suckers from… From a dead guy. What do you… Hold on.

What do you mean you stole a bunch of suckers from a dead guy? The Stephen Doctor was dead in the field as we were leaving. No. And he had a bunch of… He died? He looked dead, Billy. He just looked and appeared and smelled dead. He's such a good guy. I like that. This is actually making you… You said? Yeah. Okay. It was… I found Stephen Doctor's… Coat. His lab coat. His lab coat. Okay. And it was… Covered in blood at the battlefield. Oh! But it might not have been his. But it was…

The pockets were stuffed with these. And I like that Ving initially said that he was going to aid and came up with, like, a bowl of fruit and some granola. And then Tuck was like, I found all these lollipops. I found all these lollipops in a dead guy's… Holy shit. Okay. I got ten. So we're just giving up on sugar then? We're just giving up on sugar. Cool. Thank you. You're… You leave for weekends sometimes and I'm… What am I supposed to do? Tell him no? Alone? Okay.

I would love for you to have some boundaries on the weekends I get to go. Also, Billy is still in summer form? Wait, no. You were in your winter form. Ooh. Yeah. Okay. Can I try to change my season? Yeah. So I think you just roll a D4. Oh. And then whatever comes up is your season. Two? Oh, I get summer. Summer. Summer. Yeah. Back to summer form. Summer. Summer. Baby. Which means your wisdom goes to zero. Yeah. My wisdom goes to zero. But you're so charming. I'm so charming.

Which is very helpful. This is perfect. Great. You've got three fairy hold. Uh-huh. And yeah. You can definitely charm this lady if you want. Yeah. I do want to. Okay. And how does summer change charming again? What does the summer thing say? Just says you may charm a small group or an individual for longer. Okay. Yeah. So you can, instead of charm an individual for a short time, you can charm one person for a long time. A whole night. You can charm a bunch of people. Yeah. Totally.

The whole night. Great. And she like, you can see her like, Billy, you start putting the fairy juice out there and you see her like, you know, roll her shoulders and sort of loosen up a little bit. So like, what did you really get up to over there? What did you really see? We heard of some project called Project Anvil that might actually be hurting a lot of people. Yeah. What have you heard from the quarry side?

I mean, you know, miners talk that, you know, in the chow line or in the cafeteria, we're all chatting. And the mechanics, I've heard that they've been pulling people off the line, taking them to some secret facility to work on some big, big machine. A lot of coal that we would send to the front lines or to the other MAC divisions has been diverted to this facility. That's probably why they were so devastated when that one refinery shut down. Exactly.

Whatever sort of fuel they need for this, there isn't as much of it as they hoped. And they need it all to power whatever this project is. They've been sending out more scouting parties as well, reconnoitering the firefields and the High Spear Principality for other veins of this. Oh, they're trying to find more mines. This coal that they've been getting us to dig out. I hate this stuff. Gets in your lungs. Can I Spout Lore about its effect on people? Yeah, totally.

And I'm going to use Fount of Knowledge because nobody else knows about this. So it gives me a plus one. Uh, seven. Okay. So seven to nine. Interesting, but not useful. You with your like demonic sense can feel even just like rolling off of her. There's like a faint, faint, faint, iconic vibe basically, which feels very similar to what you were feeling in the refinery and what you've been feeling at a low level. You realize the entire time you've been in the firefields.

It's not like a straight up possession, but you can feel that she has like an iconic influence like hanging off of her basically. Okay. I use demonized to figure out what it is. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Okay. That's a high rule. You get three questions off the list. Is there a demon here? And if so, what demon is it? So the thing is, is like I said, it's not a straight up possession. It's more like the echo of the iconic realm. So there is not specifically a demon here.

It's more like you can feel that she has been in contact. With something. Interesting. So Tuck, as, as he kind of like gleans, like this, like connection to the iconic realm and he remembers growing up in McCall and like all the like torch of McCall stuff, like the church of the flame, he reaches behind the bar and like fishes out a vial of saffron and he's like, let me make you like a thing that helps. It's like kind of like a cleansing juice.

It's this, I dated a girl that was really into juice cleanses. Things into this? Yeah. Uh huh. This will actually really help. You know where the bathroom is, right? Up on the left? Okay, good. And he puts like saffron in like a thing. He like squeezes some limes in it. He's sort of just making a Manhattan, but he's putting a shitload of saffron in it. Yeah, totally. Yeah. He's doing the shaking. He sees a flip in it. He tries to do one of the flips behind his back. Smashes a bottle. Smashes.

And he was just like, oh no, please stop. All right. Let's try it again. No, you're not licensed for that. All right. Here we go. Can I try and do a flip? A cool flip? You do not have to roll to do a cool flip and fuck it up. You really don't. Let's try. All right. But I do. I pour her this drink. Yeah. Yeah. She starts drinking it and you feel that like lingering influence dissipate. And she notices it probably too. Yeah. She like brightens up a little bit.

And Billy, you can feel that your charm is like taking a bit of a firmer hold. And she's just like, oh. Whoa. I should have been cleansing this whole time. Right? I know. I never bought the whole juice cleanse thing, but you know, delicious. Her Instagram handle is Katie Juice. And if you use her affiliate codes, then she gets a little bit of a kickback and she gives that to me. So it's incredible. I'll take a look. Yeah. They're working on something big.

And if the people that they're bringing off the line are any indication, it's mobile. Okay. And if I had to guess. It might be. And she like hunches down. We hunched down too. This is information that none of you would have gleaned on your own. I think it might be some kind of extra Big Mac. Does it build itself out of littler mess? That I don't know. Anyway, I'm pretty beat. You might understand. I can talk more in the morning, but I really think I need to take a load off. Go rest.

And she heads upstairs. Effie. Yes? Yes. It's good to meet you. It's good to meet all of you as well. Thank you for giving an old bird like me somewhere to hide. And she heads up the stairs. And Mirs is like, big robot? I mean, yeah, that's kind of what it sounded like already. But like, how big? I don't know. I guess we'll see. Those things are pretty scary already, right? Like you guys have had bad experiences with regular sized ones. Yeah.

Regular sized ones are, in my mind, like three people tall. Yeah. So a big one is like the size of like the high spirit, maybe. What? Like a thousand feet tall? Yeah. Yeah. Big? Yeah. I don't know. Maybe. How big? I mean, it doesn't really matter. We don't know. That no one else in the principality says anything like the Firefields has. If they have something like that, High Spirit City is toast. Right. Yeah. Then we better get there fast. Yeah.

You guys still going to go to Callum and try and take it down from the, because I mean, he's the brains behind it, right? Yeah, that's true. If they lose, if you cut off the head of the snake, then another head grows. There's a second head. So we cut off one head of the snake and then we, and then that, that one's gone. And then we go after the second head. Which is the tail. Yeah. No, wait. So you cut off the head of a snake. Yes. And then you cut, and then its tail becomes its head.

That's right. Yeah. You have to cut off the other one. And then maybe Project Anvil is like another head that pops up, but that's the final, that's the boss head. That's the last head. That's the final head. To cut off. You have to suck the venom out of the tail of the snake. I think you're right. That has something to do with it. Yeah. That's why snakes can't be poisoned by their own venom, because they're always sucking their own tail. Yeah.

I actually, I heard if you cut a snake in half, it actually just grows into two snakes. Yeah, there's that too. Okay. So the way we cut it matters. That's what I'm getting from this. Yes. And in that vein, do we still feel like the right move is to go after Callum? It's hard to say yes, because of all the, what if we can have an influence over this giant machine? I mean, I will. Okay. So I will say that I think that Callum could, like, I think both are good paths. Mm-hmm.

Considering our experiences with Lee Masterly, clearly there are wealthy members of industry that are involved in this logistical chain, which could be what Callum is doing in the capital, dealing with sort of like the logistical, political, like economic side of it. Yeah. And taking that out would be a huge blow to it, or physically going and trying to find a big robot and destroying it also. I just don't know if we're strong enough. Yeah.

That's if strength isn't the thing, and Ving has in his hand the ticking heart of M4. Oh. What if a softer approach? Oh my gosh. And if we can turn the tides of this giant mech somehow, I mean, right? I did it before with the smaller one, and then we use that against Callum. You still have one use of Hibernia water, right? I believe I do. What if F you would help us? Get in? Sneak in? Yeah. Okay. Okay. So the potential other plan is leave the snake hole. And go find Project Anvil. Mm-hmm.

And put M4's heart in it, and try and turn this new Mega Mac against the- M5. Against the snake itself. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Go and find a big rock, and then squish the snake with it. We don't have to worry about which head we're cutting off. Yeah. If we just mash the entire snake into the ground. Guys, this snake metaphor is freaking me out. Actually, I know a lot of snakes. They're not that bad. Snakes are pretty cool. Snakes are pretty cool. I'm sorry. I'll take something else.

Statistically, we're the least racist species out there. I've been a snake before. I would like to stop thinking about me getting my own head cut off. Wow, that's a good plan. Yeah. I didn't even think about that. I didn't think about that either. Okay. So you go and tell Effie about this? Uh-huh. Yeah, we burst into her room. Should we let her sleep? The thing is saying, just as you guys are kicking the door open. And she shoots up out of her bed like, whoa! It's just us. We had an idea.

And we cut back downstairs to the bar. We're like, what? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Isn't that the only way to free everyone? Cut off the head of the snake before it can strike. Hmm. I mean- Oh, I get it! I get the snake thing now. Okay. I can certainly tell you that the last thing they would be expecting as for you to appear in- Beside their facility, I suppose. But they are locked down.

The mine I was working at, the refinery, was serious. There were guards everywhere. Checking people going in, checking people coming out. Do you think you can help us? If what you say is true, and they are trying to bring down the Firefields Principality and the Highspear, then yes. The last time we ran into Com, he almost destroyed us. We need to get prepared. If you guys need, like, weapons or something, you can always check the Lost and Found. There's a Lost and Found?

And Mir's, like, nods his head. Come on, I'll show you. And he opens a door just off the storeroom that you've never opened before. It's neon lights. Fluorescent lights in the ceiling. Kink, kink, kink, kink, kink, kink, kink, kink, kink. Rows and rows of guns. Of weapons. Billy does the thing from The Matrix where he's like, I need guns. Lots of guns. Lots of guns. And I guess that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara.

Joining me as always, Tacoma Dome of the Barbarians. Dwayne Abdul-Aziz. So long, everybody. Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. And Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. Thank you for joining us. This show wouldn't be possible without the support of all of our wonderful patrons.

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And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly spout more

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your Game Master Sean O'Hara Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz Hello everybody! Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers Good afternoon And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jusketai Hello! When last we left our heroes, they emerged from the mine deep in the firefields Under the ownership of Sir Lee Master Lee Right? That guy?

Yeah That's so funny I don't know what happened to him Surprisingly not Sir Lee His investments were destroyed He ran away, we heard him in the distance He was so excited when the last of the distillation columns came out Another 2%! No! My investments! This accounts for 5% of my family's wealth! My dad's gonna be so mad at me!

Once he realizes that the money's not coming in, which will take several years Emerging from the mouth of this tunnel, hearing screams The party saw pandemonium unfolding below The price that nature exacted after Ving helped M4 make his modifications Was creating a sort of living parasitic iron that flowed over scrap in the mechanics bay And brought itself to life Rampaging through the facility and attempting to just cause carnage for reasons unknown The party We did figure out why You did figure out why later on in the episode The party realized the adulterated, infected, laced coal at the base of this mine Mixed together as it was with obsidian May have been causing some sort of spiritual, demonic infection And the smoke from the burning of the coal that the firefield's military has been basing almost their entire industry off of Is maybe helping reconstitute or repair The gibbous man's connection to the material plane and the iconic realm at the same time And disperses him all over it Exactly And gets into the lungs of the people And soaks into the environment It's sort of like a rehashing of his strategy with the druids we said Where he's like covering the night sky Making it black Very strong theory This brought them to the decision that no one could ever get their hands on this coal And Ving summoned forth a snake spirit Composed of living molten rock To seal the mines forever Which it did And then released it as the spiritual infection began to take hold of the snake itself Freeing it from its corporeal form and sending it back to the spirit world Meanwhile, Billy and Tuck attempted to protect Ving from the horrible iron rust monsters as they charged up the hill Yeah And what followed was a pretty tough fight It was really bad Pretty difficult A lot of bad things happened there Yeah, I know A lot of bad things happened I failed every roll Yeah Brutal A lot of stuff happened Billy killed one of the creatures at least by himself Fully on his own Yeah, totally alone Yep Tuck had a harder time taking wound after wound His flesh being covered in this strange rust that caused his flesh itself to rust The fight got worse as a In a lot of ways You tried to put it in a better way, thank you for that I tried to think of a different way to say it, but it got worse Tuck attempted a couple times to use his sort of waking connection to the void inside his mind To commune with Black Spire Working on a theory that he kind of put together himself Yeah, put together himself while he was like in the middle of being attacked Yeah, yeah, yeah And also like so insecure about how bad the fight had been going already His idea was kind of based He wanted to create some sort of Iron Man style chest beam Using the coin fragments in his body And Black Spire's growing Sunstone Sunstone connection Yeah It didn't unfortunately work all that well at all Um, uninfected Wormack smashed its way out of the mechanics bay Which M4 went to go deal with And Tuck went to go try one more time to connect to Black Spire To try and redeem myself Oh yeah, I forgot He tried to redeem himself He got backhanded across the yard Yeah, oh I got hit by that I got hit so hard Basically passed out Yeah Uh, meanwhile Ving was brought down to one hit point Billy tried to build a fairy ring around Ving Failed Failed hard Failed super hard Got snake eyes There were so many snake eyes There was a lot of snake eyes Yeah And then uh, that failure led to a rock slide As the carved out lava tunnels from the snake spirit caused the hillside above you to collapse Mm-hmm Sending a torrent of crushing stone down on everyone and the refinery yard Ving was able to at the last second use elemental mastery to save Billy and himself It was clutch Everything you did was so fucking cool There was some cool stuff There was some cool things It was pretty sweet Wasn't that why you wanted to do the sunstone kind of thing in the first place?

Cause you saw Ving looking so cool while he's like fighting and doing cool stuff And you're like I also have to look cool Ving looked so cool Tuck was on his back for most of the fight Yeah Billy had to save him multiple times Uh huh He was so emasculated And at one point one of the centipedes crawled over him to get to someone who it perceived as a bigger threat Very hard to handle Very damaging to touch And then my son had to come here and he saved me more Stabbed a bunch of times, yeah The rock slide, due to the elemental mastery choices that remained before us Uh huh Threatened to destroy everything It did destroy the refinery and the buildings around it But it also coursed down towards a defenseless, helpless, vulnerable Tacoma dome M4 did some calculations, realized that he couldn't get to Ving and Billy So he chose to save Tuck And he said before he did that he said He pulled the iron giant thing The iron giant thing, yeah yeah Which is so sad because I am metal as fuck Yeah And then he dove over me And then disappeared under the stone Oh man, so it's like that's the saddest moment in that movie And I would like to say that is where we find our heroes now But where do we find our heroes now?

Is this immediately after or is it some time past? I don't know, I feel like we still have to resolve what's happening in this scene Yeah we come in on like a silent scene Just the winds Death, destruction, the sun is coming up What are the river ways people call it, the Harriers?

The Harriers, yeah I think there's maybe some We see like Harriers picking their way through the yard Yeah in the far distance Yeah like people in grass cloaks like coming down from the hill And walking towards the sort of shattered stone field I kind of want to go beneath like the rubble Okay yeah If that's cool I like that it shows the scene and then it like fades under Yeah Like the camera strips across all of the Harriers trying to like find us And then goes into the ground Yeah And I think it's like, I think the scene, I think it's like Tuck, eyes closed And then like And I look up and I see like M4's head Yeah And it's like And it's like his chest and his arms are kind of holding up a wall of stone around you Over top of me And I'm like M4?

It's totally still Oh no And I smack his face Bong, bong, bong Can I hear anything inside of him? Roll a discern realities Okay 2d6 plus wisdom Oh, eight Okay so you get one question What Harrier is useful or valuable to me? I think you hear, you would, you know what these Macs sound like It's like a lot of chugging and like pistons But all you can hear is like a quiet ticking Seems like deep inside there's like a Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick Okay Can I open his chest?

Oh you can try How are you opening it? Are you just ripping it open? Or are you trying to like engage and open it?

You said he moved the opening to like his insides Yeah he's got like a chute on the front basically So I want to open that Oh yeah if you're just trying to open it you can just reach up and pull it open You don't have to like Okay Roll or force it or anything like that I want to open it up and find out what's ticking It's kind of hard to tell I think if you do want to get inside you're gonna have to destroy some of his body basically Cause this chute wasn't designed to get to whatever is making that sound Right cause the chute is more for like consuming Cool It's like a fuel chute And you also do see your bear experience with Macs Like you see that this flowing like living iron has flowed through a lot of his insides and moved stuff around Fuck So it even it looks very strange in here And like as Tuck is doing this he's like trying to find anything inside like a switch Yeah He's like trying to turn him back on Oh yeah this is that's beyond your ken I have two ideas I can try and use TLC to talk to him Hmm Maybe Potentially I can get them to like create a spirit connection with him If he's aware like if his spiritual essence is still Is still there Or I could try and get the demon of servitude to make a connection with him But I don't trust it That's probably smart Yeah And it's also like everything that went wrong was because this place is basically salted by like the iconic realm Mmhmm Yeah I wanna use TLC then to try and get a boon from them Yeah To try and make a connection with him to like boot him back up basically Okay so that is that is an interesting thing to try in here Cause the thing that TLC requires is that like Yeah Yeah The thing that TLC requires to sort of wake is destruction Yeah Which how how do you see yourself doing this under a rock slide Uh so Tuck just to give you a sense of what the so like M4 is over Tuck Yeah Tuck is like moving very little Mmhmm Cause every time he shifts like rocks fall Yeah Mmhmm And he doesn't wanna like trigger anything to like fill the space that he's in Mmhmm And his axe is on his back so he's still kinda pinned a little bit Mmhmm Um what can I sacrifice what do I have Yeah let's while Tuck ponders this let's cut up to Ving and Billy Yeah How have you been under this rock pile Billy is conscious and he's I think rifling through Ving's pockets for poultices Mmhmm Ving is not conscious Ah Okay Okay so Billy is thinking okay this is what Ving does he chews for a while And then Billy starts gently applying all this chewed poultices Okay so Billy is thinking okay this is what Ving does he chews for a while And then Billy starts gently applying all this chewed poultices Mmhmm Ving's injuries He accidentally ate two of them He ate two of them They are molasses based Yeah Uh huh He wasn't thinking clearly and he went oh no it's just so good you know It's like a nip job Yeah Oh my god it's fucking delicious When you eat a little caramel you just gulp it down so fast Uh huh Yeah Yeah you can definitely apply at least one Once enough Yeah Okay I've done one So that's seven hit points I believe Yeah Yeah Which brings you up to eight which isn't a ton but I'd say yeah I'd say that's a good number Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah But I'd say yeah the night is enough for especially someone as not exactly skilled in healing as Billy to apply like seven points worth of healing Uh so that's what Billy's doing Cool Ving is trying to wake him up Does Ving wake up Ving Yeah he wakes up slowly Mm Billy Oh I'm glad you're okay Where are we I think we're safe but we're under the ground Oh what's in my body oh my god is that a lawn chair I think so I didn't want to try to get it out yet Is that a Zeller's cart Yes Oh my god He looks at his chest and notices Paul puts oh you actually did a really good job buddy Thank you I chewed it the way you chew it Thank you Billy You notice that there are more missing than Billy ate I ate two You got a little something right there Yeah fair enough I know I was having fun too We really got to come up with some way of masticating that isn't putting in our mouth because this stuff's delicious Thank you very much Billy have you seen Tuck have you heard anything from him Have you heard anything from out there Can Billy listen Oh my god someone's up there Oh my god it's biller time One of the it cuts to above and one of the guys are like does anyone else want a beer I only have two more Yeah you can roll discern realities if you're trying to hear what's going on Okay Plus whiz Six Eight I'm here Okay Yeah you're listening to 2d6 plus bond Seven Okay Two Two Two Two Two Two Two Two Two Two Two Two Two Two Oh Oh a a a!

A a lower than that. Lower, you hear a very quiet ticking. Something's there. And shifting. And like grunting. Yeah. Shit. Tuck's okay. He's alive. You hear someone fart really loud. Oh my god. Thank god he's alive. Who did that? Oh, that's for sure Tuck. Yeah, I mean, I'd like to… I mean, pretty weak. I can move the rocks. I can just start moving the rocks too. Yeah, you could just physically be moving rocks. And I think you could…

I think this is the kind of thing where if you did it slow and careful, it will just take time. We're climbing our way out. We'll cut back to Tuck. Under the stone. Yeah. So Tuck's kind of like shimmied TLC over top of him. And he's like basically in a coffin right now. And he keeps kind of yelling at M4 to try and wake him up. It has not had an effect. Yeah.

You're not sure why you could potentially roll like a Spout Lore or a discern realities to learn more about the situation or try and glean more about what might be happening. But if you're yelling, you're starting to hear shifting above. Okay. Not directly above you, but you're hearing people talking. I'm kind of most concerned with M4 because Tuck feels really guilty about sacrificing himself. Yeah. So he has 12 music bottles.

So he's going to take TLC and in the very small amount of space he has, use it to crush all of them in his backpack against the front of M4. So it's like a sacrifice of TLC for the blood gods. TLC has to destroy stuff to make that connection. Yeah. They're like glowing. So there's this purple light. I like pile all of the music bottles inside of M4's chest cavity and I just smash like the whole thing with the axe. It's so loud. It's so loud. It's like if you played the Frost CDs all at once.

Yeah. But like really like cranked it. No headphones. All big shenny tunes. 1 to 14. All at once. Brown pop noise. Yeah. And they like explode. Yeah. 2d6 plus wisdom. 8. So 7 to 9. They take of your flesh as well. Glass breaking. There's like shards slashing into you. Yeah. It like fully explodes. Yeah. The sound is like wrecking your eardrums. Right. Yeah. So a d10. 5. So 2 damage but it's loud. Yep. My ears are bleeding. Yeah. But you still get the boon. So you connect the crystals glowing.

Yeah. And you're like, oh, man, what the fuck's going on? What song is that? Dude, what? That sucks. I know. It was all the metal music all at once. You know what? I don't want to say it. I don't think I like metal anymore. No. I think I heard all of it at once and I'm tired of it now. So what do you need? Oh, you need to. Oh, whoa. Look at this big boy. And you can see they like walk along the blade of the axe. They're little fairy bodies and they're like pressing. Their ears against his chest.

I like push the axe up further just so that they can kind of like get in there. Like I make it make contact with M4's body. Yeah. And yeah, they're little fairy forms. You see walk up the blade and they hop onto M4. Oh, shit. Is this Ving's work? He's a fucking robot. And he's like as they crawl down inside. Oh, this guy's metal as fuck. This is fucking sick, bro. This dude's fucked up, man. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's bad in here, dude. How bad? Can we? Is it possible to get him going?

I don't know. But wait, hold on. And they took. OK, we found something. Is it ticking? It's ticking. Is it going to explode? It's a bomb. No, no, no, Terry. Calm down. It's not a bomb. We've seen a share of bombs in our time. Like what Tuck has asked me by that launcher. Fuck you, dude. Tuck has fucked you. And you hear like high fiving deep inside. Tuck punches a bunch of rocks. Rocks fall down. And then it falls in.

Do you know that shot from Aladdin where like Jasmine's the sand is filling up? Oh, yeah. It's like kind of that where he's like now only his like lips are above a bunch of dirt that's all shimming. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Oh, my God. I take it back. I take it back. I take it back. Oh, my God. I got a bunch of dirt in my mouth. Oh, my God. This dirt's the gibbous man's body. I can't get it out of my mouth. It tastes so bad. So dusty. So burnt. It tastes like the gibbous man.

This is what my enemy tastes like. Know your enemy's taste. Is that like Sun Tzu says? Sun Tzu said taste your enemy. Taste your enemy. Taste your friends. Taste your enemies closer. There we go. Okay. Yeah, I know. He's pretty fucked up. I don't think this thing's getting started again, but hold on.

And you hear a bunch of like creaking and like snapping and like grinding metal on metal and then popping out of the top of the chute is Larry, Terry, and Chad and between them they're carrying like it's kind of the size of like a ham, but it's made out of gears and pistons and then there's the flowing organic iron surrounding it and it's ticking loudly. What is it? What the fuck does that… That mean? It's the only thing that was in there. This…

It's the only thing that was even close to like working. Can you describe it one more time? The way I'm thinking about it is like it almost looks like a stylized pineapple. Okay. Like it's like a metal kind of you know? Okay. Yeah. Okay, like a coconut. Like a heart, but with the veins poking out of the top. Yeah, but then like the tips are kind of like flared almost like, yeah. Like a metal heart. It looks like a metal heart. Okay, so Tuck takes that. Yeah. And he shifts over.

He like flips over and holds it like underneath him to protect it. And then he like slams his back up against the like M4's chest. And he starts like pushing. Oh my god, leg day. Basically do a leg burst. Yeah, totally. Alright. Try and get him and whatever this fucking thing is out. 2d6 plus strength? Okay. God damn it, I'm rolling with shit. Ten. Yeah. That was great. Wait, what? I was like, that was good. That was an old switcheroo. Oh my god, I'm rolling like dog shit. I succeed flawlessly.

Last session, it was all ones. It was all ones. I got that too that one time. So, Billy and Ving, you've extricated yourself from this like dome of rock. And as you push yourself out, it like collapses underneath you. Yeah, you're breathing fresh air. You see… I'm bleeding from so many spots. It's bad. You're both bloody and scraped and covered in dust. Yeah, pulling dust and dirt out of my mouth. Yeah. But I'm scanning the field for any weird rubble. Yeah.

I mean, I like the idea because there was so much noise. Yeah, so… That there was a bunch of people trying to rescue Tark out of it and then all of a sudden just like… They go flying. You scare a rescue dog. Exactly, yeah. You're scanning the field and you see the Harriers have like made their way over to where they heard this huge explosion. And you hear, River and Reed. And then Pan is like picking his way down the rock towards you and like, what hap… And you hear…

The rocks further down in the field are thrown aside. A massive metal back emerges and getting kind of tossed to the side, Tuck emerges, covered in blood and dust. Tuck! Ving wraps his arms around Tuck. You got a huge hug. Oh my god. It's okay, there, there, there. Get it out, get it out. Did that look cool? Did that look okay? That looked so cool. That was rock as fuck. Okay, cool. Ving goes over to M4.

Yeah, he's kind of like flopped over onto his back and his lenses are just staring up at the sky. I reach out with my spirit tongue to try and hear something. You feel a spiritual presence that you felt when you like first made M4 the way that you felt. You feel a spiritual presence that you felt when you like first made M4 the way that you felt. You feel a spiritual presence that you felt when you like first made M4 the way that you felt.

That's the way that he ended up being with the spirit water, but not from the husk of his body, but from something being held in Tuck's arms. He has his hand on his chest and he's like reaching out and then he like turns and looks over at Tuck. I'm really sorry, Ving. This thing was the only thing that was still working inside him. And I give the metal heart to Ving. And he takes it and he holds it. I think I might have accidentally killed M4.

And he closes his eyes and he feels that feeling that he was feeling across. And then he looks at Tuck and says, you didn't kill him. It's not your fault. I don't know what to do with this right now, guys. Can we put it in one of the other mechs that's still like in here? I think the ones that were like everything was destroyed in the rock slide. Like you would have to pull a mech out of the rubble and try and fix it up, which is far beyond what you're capable of. You could roll a Spout Lore.

Can I use a druidic lore? An argument can be made for that. This is spiritual stuff. Nine. Oh. Can I aid? Sure. Yeah. 2d6 plus one. I asked TLC to like tell them the things that they know about what they found. Because Tuck doesn't know anything. 13. The dice giveth and the dice taketh away. 13. So on a 10 plus with druidic lore. On a hit to GM, we'll ask you a question about the subject. Whatever you say is true. Okay. So. M.

M4 like this mechanism probably exists in all max and is sort of like a central processor, but you altered M4 pretty significantly with the spirit water and then with the living iron. Do you think that there's a precedent for like what is being know about permanent bodies that have been made for spiritual essences? Clearly this thing is still working. What do you think that means in a spiritual sense? Well, the axe is basically a permanent body for TLC. Yeah.

Which is a collection of spiritual bodies. Yeah. I think that's the important thing to remember that Ving is learning that being somebody who can talk to the elements, he's talking to the constituent parts of the elements, right? Like he's breaking down the elements, getting even more lost in the weeds of all things. Does Ving think that M4 may still exist in this thing? Yes, he does. Yeah. It feels like it. It feels like him. I can, when I hold it, I can hear the song in my head. Yeah.

And I think that you would connect the dot that if you were to get this heart into another form of some kind that M4 is not gone. M4 is just currently in a different form. Yeah. Also, we only have one more Hibernia water use. So I could do this again, but it would be the last of my Hibernia water. Anyways, don't need to do it right now. And there's no other mechs around here. No, this place is toast. So mission accomplished. Yeah. You did it. You destroyed the refinery.

Congratulations, everybody. That's what Pan says. Pan's like, wow. We're so, so sad standing around the body of M4. He cracks another beer. Way to go, everybody. Mission accomplished as far as I'm concerned. Am I able to roll fairy child? Absolutely. Yeah. Billy is staring at the body of M4 feeling very sad about many other bodies he's seen in the past. And the light of the sun is shining. Nine. Okay. So you get three fairy child hold. Well, can I just really quickly roll what the bones know?

Yeah, absolutely. A four. Great. So you can replace one of your die with a four. So Pan's sort of like, I have to say, this was a resounding success. This refinery is offline completely. If you are interested, we could really use some people like you. Where are you going? You know, we honestly, we thought that this was going to be a bit of a longer operation. So we need to link up with command before we can get our next assignment. So what do you think? I think we go with the Harriers.

Yeah, I don't really know what to do right now. And we're all like blasted. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You guys need time to recuperate before you do anything. Yeah. It's really hard to leave M4 here. Yeah. In this place in this battlefield. We have what matters of him. Yeah. You're kind of, you're bringing M4 with you. It's sad to leave that body behind, but yeah, at least he persists. His sacrifice noble, the cost great. Hope, etc. There's a little poem that pan just freestyled for you.

It's like, I know times are tough, but I sort of an amateur poet. If you want to read my stuff later, I'd love to get some opinions, but we should head out. Yeah. So is there anything you want to do before you leave? Try and pick through the rubble or gain and get any information. Was there anything here? No. I feel like we learned what we had to and now we have to think about this. Yeah. Tuck just scratches metal as fuck. Until like M4's chest. Before we leave. Very nice.

I want to pile a bunch of stones on him. Yeah. Finish burying him. Yeah. So he's not exposed. I don't want him to rust anymore. Very beautiful. So yeah, we see this. The scene as you're walking away is like a cairn of stones and then the one like gap left is a piece of metal that says metal as fuck. Yeah. As you walk through the gate and a couple hours later, I think you're just backtracking. It's fairly safe. On the way back, you return to the Harrier's temporary bivouac.

Camp at the old logging settlement. And there's the vibe of everyone starting to pack up, but someone starts making food. People are resting, recuperating and Pan comes and sits on a log next to you and is like, so 24 seven with the pan flute. I'm sorry. Fucking get a different hobby. Really language. Sorry. We know you're in your winter form, but you cannot talk. Like that. Sorry. It's just such a headache. Such a headache from all those rocks.

Oh, does Billy have the opportunity to shift seasons? No, he's forced into this right other night. And that's partially also why he's so mad. Oh, he's locked into the winter. It's like he's like tensed up like and pan like holds up his hands like, oh, sorry. Sorry. And puts the flute like in an inside pocket on his vest. Do you have a medic here? Yeah. Yeah. Uh, Crandall come on over here and someone comes and starts applying bandages and salves to you.

And in a while you, you all heal seven points if you so choose. Seven more? Yeah. Awesome. Great. Thank you. Crandall, what have you, while this guy's working on me, I just go, what have you heard of what's going on in the war? Uh, just like in general? Yeah. Like how are the high spear forces doing holding off the firefields forces? It's, uh, it's not going so good from what I hear, but I know, you know, we've been out in the field for a while, so we haven't gotten any new information.

But when we, uh, got the army deployed, most recently it was going pretty bad. Have they pushed into the city at all? No, no. Thank God. But, uh, they just were outgunned. We really are. I mean, they've got guns. Yeah. They've got literal guns. Yeah. Actual guns. You guys are all fucking spears and reed capes, dude. Yeah, the riverways are not a wealthy principality, but what we lack in money and arms we more than make up for in a willingness to die for what we believe in.

I was hoping you were gonna say grit. Something cool over that. Something good, not just your willingness to die. Maybe you're too willing to die. Everyone in the riverways wants to die. And the swords of their oppressors. Then he grabs his bag and walks away. I was just making sure that Perel and Morris were still okay. Oh, yeah. Totally. No, if they get to the city, then something, everything has gone bad terribly. Um, so yeah, I guess this is Sean now asking what next?

So we have done one thing, which is like destroy their ability to field mechs in this area. Yeah. And destroy their ability to produce this coal. And we also took away one of the gibbous man's ways to like get his body back. I feel like the next big steps is now that we know about the obsidian in the mines, like to shut down the other coal mines to stop like any more of that from being released into the air. Totally. Yeah.

We might need to tell like whoever's like coordinating the riverways resistance so that they can also do that. Turn their forces towards the factories. I feel like either it would be up to us to like go to the Blackhammer twins and like, I'll kill them or force them to shut it down. That was our original plan is to go find them and kill them. So like we snuck into the army so we could get access to them. We ended up there. We destroyed that. Let's get back on our mission of finding them.

How do we find them? We talked to high command. To the firefield high command? Or? No, I was thinking, I mean we were with the riverways resistance. Yeah. Who's, yeah. Probably have information, spies and stuff. Yeah. Go with the Harriers to wherever they're going to get information. They must have a way of transferring information from different sites. Thinking, yeah. And different fronts. Oh, it's a bunch of archers, right? Yeah. What if they attach their messages to arrows?

And they shoot them across distances to different camps. Oh, yeah. That's cool. Oh, and there's different routes that they shoot them. So then you walk along the route and you find an arrow. Yeah. It's going to be like a kilometer at the most. Yeah. But that'd be cool. So we're thinking that's what they would do instead of like going to meet somebody. They would go to these places where the arrows would be with information. Oh, I like that because there's people spread out throughout that track.

Yeah. The other messenger archers would find them and be like, oh, and they'd like shoot it along. Like the torches of Gondor. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's really cool. That's cool. Yeah. Cool. Okay. Yeah. I like that a lot. So we think like you are basically explaining this to Pan what you want to do next. Yeah. And then getting him to send a message of where you would be able to find the Black Hammers potentially. There must be a way that we can just have an idea of an area where they are. Yeah.

I don't really feel like the Black Hammer twins are like hiding. They're out and about. Yeah. One's on the war front. The other one's running the country. Cool. Okay. Then who's going to be rolling this discern realities? Who knows how to write? I do. I pretended to be a librarian for a while. Holy sh… Okie dokie. Oh my God. He puts on his glasses like sage. He just flicks his head and his glasses were hiding in his hair and they come down on his nose. Little half-moon glasses.

I got two sixes. Yeah, I got 12. Pretty amazing. So you get three questions off the list. Is it plus anything? Just in case. Wisdom. I got 15. Oh my God. You read and write so well. Huge roll. Oh my God. So you're like, you sit down with, uh, Pan goes and gets, I think they call it something like the Bowstring Express or something like that. Oh, sick. To share information between camps. Because it's just like on the deer track that they kind of like run on, right? Exactly, yeah.

But it can cross like huge areas of land because there's scouts posted all over the place. And there's special arrows. And then like little wings maybe pop up the side. Yeah. Cute. They have like little springs. And you sit down with one of their archers, their designated messenger, and they teach you the, with your 15, they teach you like the shorthand that they use to transmit as much information as possible. Maybe the shorthand is like derived from druidic runes.

So like Ving picks it up so fast. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah. There's a very like Ogham ancient language kind of pictograph. Style to it. I love that. And they send off the message. And you're all able to relax and get some food in you. Can I get rid of the stability? No, no, no, no. That takes days. Okay, I guess I'm going to keep this. What a bummer. Yeah. Can I get three more hit points from somewhere? Like eat a good stew? I was going to look up a move. One sec. That's what Billy does.

He, you know when kids make like mud pies. Yeah. Or whatever. Make mud soup. Yeah, mud soup. He gets to that. But with like regular food. Make soup? Yeah. But in a tree trunk. In a gross way. In a stump. Yeah, he's grabbing sticks and stirring it up like, nope, I think we need a bit more of this. He grabs like some gravel off the ground. He's like, yum, yum, yum. Come on everybody, grab a bowl. Slop is ready. Yeah, we're like, grab a bowl. Yeah. So we go and, is it, it's real food, right?

Yeah, isn't it? It is. Tuck says that to Billy. This is real food, right, Billy? Yeah. Okay. I just, sometimes you'd feel it feed us dirt. What? No, I made chicken gumbo. Okay. Thank you. And Tuck goes up to the stump and he laid all the soup. He's like, gumbo into a bowl. Oh. Yeah. It's actually delicious. Uh, you, do we want this? This could be the manage provisions move for sure. Yes. Okay. So Billy's rolling 2d6 plus wisdom to make his tree stump stew. 11. 11. Two sixes. No, 13. 13.

Good lord. We're rolling so well. This is insane. We're rolling so well. It's from the lights. Yeah. Charge it up. Yeah. So you choose one from the list below. I know exactly which one you're going to pick, so I'm just going to say it. The party consumes the expected amount of food. It is prepared excellently. Describe it and everyone who licks their lips takes plus one forward.

Yeah, it looks like a bunch of like red mud and stones and sticks, but it's actually chicken gumbo with, you know, well sauteed onions and garlic and peppers. The good old mirepoix. And there's andouille sausage in there. Oh my god, saffron. Saffron, you know. When Billy says mirepoix, Vig and Tuck look at each other like, where did he learn that? I heard mirrors say it. I don't know what it means. Oh yeah, he thought it was his name. Yeah. Uh, and rice. Oh, you're still thinking of saffron.

Okay, yeah. Delicious. Sounds great. Oh yeah. Mmm. Thank you, everyone. Yum. Awesome. Why did you do it like that? Just the smallest possible amount of tongue emerging. Because now we're on camera. I know, I know what everyone's see. Uh, okay, so everybody rests and recuperates. If you get a few hours at least of uninterrupted sleep, you can heal up to half your total hit points. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. Okay, so we're saying that you're sticking around for a couple hours at least.

We're waiting for the message to come back. Yeah, totally. And it would take a while because they're shooting arrows back and forth. Uh, but one day, it does arrive. I wanna grab it. Out of the air. Yeah, because Billy's actually, I'm fully healed up, so Billy doesn't sleep. He's like, I'll stand guard. Oh, you hear the arrow arriving. Yeah. And you're trying to catch it. Yeah, and I'm running into the field. 2d6 plus dexterity. Fun. Five. You get fully shot by this arrow. Yeah.

I'm really embarrassed, though. I'm really embarrassed. Um, so I'm like… It hits you, like, in the thigh. Like, wonk. No, right in the butt. Oh, right in the butt. You overshoot it, and you're facing away as it shoots you in the butt. Don't panic, Billy. It's okay. It's just the butt. We don't really need that. We can get it out. That's why I pull it out. Okay, yeah, I roll a d6. Holy fucking shit. That was a six. Six damage. Billy's all healed up. He'll stay up all night. Billy!

He's too confident. Um, yeah, so there's a lot of blood coming out of him, but he can't see it, because it's his butt. Yeah. So Billy walks into camp with an arrow. Trying to keep a secret, like, trying not to limp, and he's like, I got the message. I found it in a stump in the field. I found it. I was going for a walk, and I came upon it. So I brought it to you guys. You hold up the arrow, and it's covered in your blood. 100%. Yeah. It's not blood, though.

I know you're going to think this is blood, but it's not. It's not. It hit a cherry tree. Billy, did you get hit with the arrow? No. It's okay. I didn't get, nothing happened to me. Just gotta put a band-aid on it. Don't worry about it. Show me your buns. Bleeding so much. No, that's my private area. Billy, you can't have two buttholes. Your pants are so wet. I peed myself. You peed blood, Billy? That's worse. What's worse? I got bit by a snake. That's worse, Billy. That's worse.

That means you have venom in you. No, I sucked it out. You sucked it out? Of your own butt. Yep. I'm going to go to Crandall for unrelated reasons. Okay. And then we hear Billy go, Crandall, tell me about your kids. You gotta help me. I got an arrow in my butt. That's all the way I did. Oh my god, I'm bleeding so much. Give me a fairy oath that you're not going to tell anybody. You can barely handle one butthole. Great. A fairy curse you if you tell anybody, Crandall.

Tell anybody else to slit your throat. And you have this note. It's got three discern reality questions worth of information on it. It's densely packed with druidic runes. Okay. What here is valuable to us? So what here is valuable to you? You are specifically looking for the locations of the Blackhammer. Twins. Exactly where they are. You don't have an exact, well, I mean, one of them is fairly exact.

Callum Blackhammer has returned to Blackglass City because there is some sort of diplomatic event going on. And he was required to return to deal with it personally. Like a ceremony kind of thing? It's some kind of diplomatic event. That specifically is like we don't know exactly what it is, but there is something political happening. I don't like that. Okay. And then Colm Blackhammer is, I think he would be like directly on the front. Yeah.

He is directly on the front trying to push into Highspear, the province itself. I also thought that he might have heard about the factory getting hit. And so he's going to other factories to disperse, to fortify their factories. That is interesting. It might be too soon for that information to have gotten to anybody. Okay. So like, I think currently, I think the Firefields is unaware that their factory has been destroyed. Oh, that's interesting.

Sir Lee Masterly is probably, we cut to Sir Lee Masterly running, jogging, covered in sweat, like Oh, daddy, daddy. I fucked it up, oh daddy. He pans down and he's on the shoulders of someone else running. Go, go, Jeffrey, go! But he's all sweaty from you. I'm sweaty from moving my arms back and forth. His legs are kicking out. Yeah. Run smoother, Jeffrey. Jeffrey, my scrotum. Jeffrey! My name's Scott. Jeffrey, lean your your neck. Back forward. My scrotum keeps smashing into it.

I'm thinking that Scott is fed up and he throws Sir Lee off. Just walk, man. Fucking sick of this. My older brother, Jared's gonna make so much fun of me at the Christmas party this year. And we cut back. You got two more questions. What should I be on the lookout for? So, the note says that the resistance on the border of Highspear, though the Firefields has pushed in a little bit, the resistance was stronger than they anticipated.

So, the Firefields is requiring, like, reinforcement at a rate higher than they expected. So, they're, like, waiting on more people. So, they can't actively be assaulting. And do you think less than usual are showing up? Yeah. They're kind of getting desperate for manpower. Right. The people that they draw on now are gonna be less likely to fight for them. Yeah. And once they find out that they're gonna have a lot fewer Macs soon, that's gonna hurt them for sure. Man, we've kind of fucked up.

This war for the Firefields so far. So fun. And we're in a very advantageous position having this knowledge that they're not aware of yet. And we're pretty deep behind enemy lines right now, which is also dangerous, but sick as fuck. One more question. What here is not what it appears to be? So, the note says that different crews of Harriers have been specifically trying to capture officers and logistics people to figure out what their supply line is looking like.

And they discovered different shipments and things in, like, ledgers that initially seemed like semi-mundane logistics reports, but they've connected through interrogation and information that the Firefields is preparing to field a secret project. Does it say where? They, it's very, there's like a lot of underlining and, like, exclamation and, like, frowny faces that they're like, we wish we knew more. They're just like, so much wasted space. So many frowny faces.

The shorthand uses a lot of emojis. Uh-huh. But it's sort of like, that's the scuttlebutt in the Riverways and Highspear, like, intelligence community right now, is everyone's really worried about this secret project. They don't know what it is, and they don't know when it's going to appear. But if it was going to appear anywhere, you would guess it would be the front, if it was, like, some big, like, gotcha. Right.

Do they have a term that they use to refer to the secret project, or they call it the secret project? Oh, um, it would be reflective of the twins, for sure, the Blackhammer twins. It would Anvil? Project Anvil? Oh, yeah. That's not bad. So, yeah, they are referencing something called Project Anvil, a secret project by the Firefields military that they know frighteningly little about. Just that it's apparently going to be fielded soon, and likely near the front, is what they think.

The bare information they were able to get is, like, this is going to get us high spear, is what everyone in the Firefields believes. A couple of the people they've interrogated, when they ask them about the project, have, like, killed themselves. Like, rather than give them information. Yeah, they do, like, this cyanide capsule thing, or just, like, grab a knife and fucking… Yeah. I'd like to have, like, a ball of ferrous. Or what is that? Magnesium nitrate?

What's the thing that burns so white hot? Thermite? Thermite. That they have some sort of, like, metallic compound? A necklace? That they can smash and then just, like, burns them? Oh, it emulates them? It takes out anybody that's in the room? For the Firefields, that's sort of how they would go. That's brutal. Yeah. Where it's like, I'm going to take myself out, and hopefully two or three people around me. Yeah. Okay. I think those are the two paths that are before you.

Blacklass City, and whatever Callum's doing, or Colm and Project Anvil on the front. Or, actually, the third path is, like you were saying, going around and continuing this sort of, like, partisan work of going behind their lines and destroying their facilities. Yeah. Tuck wants to go to Colm, but Abdul wants to go to Callum. That's how I feel, too. I want to go to Callum, because I know he's in, like… Do they live in, like, an old palace?

They live in, like, the Princeps Palace in Blacklass City. Because I feel like something about, like, the Gibbous Man might be at Blacklass. Yeah. We still haven't gotten to the bottom of, like, the Gibbous Man's plans here. We've uncovered layers of it. I think this is a great idea, because we've encountered Colm on the front, but we've on the field, defeated him, fucked up this factory, devastated the troops on the ground.

Now let's get behind the lines and see what the rest of the force is looking at and try and get more connection to them. Yeah. And to be the shit-dick GM and dangle this in front of you, you didn't really defeat Colm Blackhammer. You got away from Colm Blackhammer. Yes. We fucked him up pretty bad. By defeating him. You specifically used the move that is you throwing sand in someone's eyes and running away. He's really scared of us now. Really cool guy. Fucked him up.

He was laughing so hard to cry. He was laughing so hard he was crying. He was laughing to cover up the fear and the crying that he's gonna do later. We'll never forget our cowardice again. No. Tug says no. He grabs Vig's wrist really hard. He's gonna remember the back of my head for the rest of his life. He was so scared of us, we had to run away from him, because he was so cringe at how fucking scared he was. We didn't want to look that cringe.

Who's gonna beat up a guy who's looking that cringe? I know. Not us. They're in a circle talking to each other. The areas are just like, what the fuck is wrong with these people? Billy's been stitched up. He's sitting on an ice pack. Yeah. That's embarrassing. He, no wonder he ran away laughing. He was laughing because he was like, I've never been so embarrassed in my life. You better be laughing. What a fucking cringe. Yeah, he looked like shit in that battle.

He's wearing armor because he's like afraid of us. Yeah. We are not wearing anything because we're not afraid of any of them. One man cringe festival. Pan's kind of standing there like, What do you have to say about it? Yeah, nothing. Agree with us. Okay. Why are you in such a foul mood? Oh, I'm not in a foul mood. It just seemed like you were all working through some things together. And I didn't want to interrupt. And he like slowly pulls the pan flute out of his vest. What do you got? No.

So as am I, Sean, to understand that this is you guys are parting ways. So the thing to consider now is you are quite far away from Black Glass. How would you be getting there? And then Tuck holds up the keys to the… I was just gonna say. Yeah. The keys to the what? The back door of Heather and Yard. Great. Yeah. We just need to find a door. One of the tent flaps. Is that enough? Billy smashes the key against the tent flap. It's not working. Come on. I'll hold it shut.

Shove it through this little gap. Tuck's doing it. Is it doing anything? It's not working. Come on, Billy. Hold it tighter. I'm doing it. Can we build a door? Can I discern realities for a door nearby? Can I discern a door? I mean, yeah, you're absolutely honestly… We're in the middle of a fucking bog. No, you're in the middle of an old logging camp. Oh. Yeah. So maybe there is a door here. There's a door here. It's embarrassing you didn't think there was a door nearby.

And I lean in close to Billy and say, shut the fuck up, Billy. Oh, language. That was cringe. Everybody's getting so tense with each other. I love it. We're all in so much pain. Yeah, yeah. We're all recovering so much. You've been fighting for days, basically. And all we've had is soup. Mud soup. Mud soup. Yeah. Soup. Shut the fuck up, Billy, or I'll take away that pillow you're sitting on. Just tuck. You want this pillow, don't you? Yeah. For your soft little butt and your soft muscles.

Shut up. My muscles are hard. They're such small muscles. They're not even that big. Billy, they're so big. No. And tuck does this. Oh, look at all that soft, like my pillow I pinch. When you pinch the love handles. Oh, yeah. Little tough. Can you flex these massive biceps? I can see pitches to your love handles. Fuck. And then tuck. Tuck giggles. Because it's… Oh, and Vingan's in there. Stop it. There's a door. You don't even have to roll. He's like, oh, there's a door. Tuck smashes the door.

Fuck. Fuck your door. Right off the hinges. Roll for door. Whoa, that's cringe. Embarrassing that you had a tantrum at a door. Yeah, tuck pokes Billy in the butt. Hey. Hey. That's… That's… That's for me. Let it heal. All right. 2D6 was wisdom because tuck destroyed the door that you found. Oh, damn it. So what you recall is that the keys require a lock. Do I have to roll for destroying the door? No. Wait. I roll. Come on. Why are you rolling? I guess I succeeded.

Did you just want experience? I want experience, yeah. You gotta stop doing that, man. This is a dried out, rotten door. Yeah, it just obliterated under the barest touch. Incredible. Yeah, so discern realities if you want to find more in this logging camp. You haven't done any digging around in here. Okay. Yeah, we'll look around. Mm-hmm. Plus wisdom. Ten. All right. Three questions. What here is useful or valuable to me? A door. Yes! There's like a… It looks like basically it was a shed.

And it's one of the… The door is barely hanging onto the hinges. Mm-hmm. And it looks quite aged. You're not sure if it is a… A camp that was abandoned because like the logging was no good, which would be weird because there's trees everywhere. Or if people left during the war. Well, we will know soon what happened here recently. Ah. Oh. So you look around. So smug. I know. Well, we will know soon. I'm sorry. Soon. I guess we're going to know in just a moment. I'm sorry. Perhaps we'll learn.

I'm such an ass. No, it is. I agree. Yes. I'm an evil queen today. Perhaps we will learn of your downfall. Momentarily. And Billy… Sir Gringlewald. Sir Gringlewald. Sir Gringus. Bringeth it here. Bring the box of pain. This is the Gom-Jabbar. Put your hand in here. It's going to hurt. Ooh, look out. Gom-Jabbar. That was my favorite scene. That was my favorite scene in Dune. When he goes, ooh. Ooh. Ooh, look out. Ooh, that's spicy. Look out, Timothy. Going to hell. They use the actor's name.

So, Billy, you're like looking around the logging camp. You're like, oh, a door. Cool. But you're just like, dude, dude. You're like, oh, I found the door. Okay. And you start wandering around. And you're looking at like the trees and the logs. And for the most part, it's a grim but seemingly fairly healthy forest. But having been where you just were and like, you know, the smog in the sky from the coal, the coal smoke that the firefields has been burning. You get a very similar vibe.

Like this place is just sick. Oh, the trees stopped growing. And like the door that Tuck tried to punch and like just completely pulped under his fist. Yeah. There's like a degrading effect to this place. Yeah. I'm touching the trees and like the bark is coming off so easily. Yeah. It's separate from the phloem. Yeah. The inner layer. Yeah. Everything here just feels I'll. What here is not what it appears to be. Ah. What here? What here is not what it appears to be.

What would be an exciting thing to find in this logging camp? Obsidian. I just had an, I had an image of like Billy scrabbling around and like pushing away like moss and stuff. Revealing like a giant eye. Oh. Like in the stone. Like revealing black obsidian. And then like there's like a huge version. Like a carved eye. Of like the eye that's on the obsidian coins. That's pretty cool. It's a door. Oh. Yeah. Like a door into the earth. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah.

Billy, you're scrabbling around in the moss, which is like coming away in like dry flaky clumps. Yeah. It's so dry. It's easy. Jeez. Guys, look. And we come over. Yeah. There's, it's almost like a. Like a hatch almost. It's so cold. Yeah. Hmm. I try and reach out to this door and talk to it. Oh, you try to talk to the obsidian. Well, I just want to hear what it's saying or feel if it has a voice. Have you talked to obsidian before? No, never.

Well, I mean, if the obsidian is the gibbous man's body. And the coins are his eyes. I think it's literally just like, I see you. Whoa. I come out. It's him. I cover the, I cover it again with the moss. We have to leave now. We have to leave. We got to go right now. Use the key. Should I try and smash this thing before I go? Yes. Use TLC. Like he pulls out TLC and he does like the, like across his body, like whipping. It. And he wants to use for the blood God again. Yep.

To smash whatever the fuck this is open. Like it's like, like as he like spins the ax. Yeah. Yeah. After he hears him go, I see you. And he's like, not for long, bitch. Son of a bitch. Why can't I look cool ever? Six. Wait, do I have a plus one from the certain realities? So seven. Yeah. So seven. So seven to nine. I get what I want, but I take damage or something. Yes, you do. It takes of your flesh. So that's going to be your, your damage for sure.

As there's just like a, the obsidian like explodes up out of the ground. Yeah. Slices into your flesh. Weird. Yeah. It is weird. It comes up and out too. And you're standing there in front of the shattered stone as it falls away. And before you was like a hole yawning into the earth and carved into the stone steps leading down. Fuck. This is so tempting. What's down there? Guys, the fire fields are his place. We can't do this. Can I quickly do a trap expert on it or no?

I mean, trap expert is Billy like assessing a dangerous situation. So you could totally do it. Okay. Yeah. Do it. I'm just so curious. Like, why would this be here? Okay. I'm going to try it. Nine. Nine. So I believe you get one hold. Oh, actually I'm going to use my plus one forward. Oh, yes. Okay. So we go. Yeah. So is there a trap here? Yes. What activates it? Entering the portal. Oh, portal. Well, portal in the general sense. So what does it do when activated?

And portal in almost a literal sense. You're not Billy. You can feel as someone who was made for the walking of ways, the crossing of barriers. You aren't sure that if you went down these steps when you came out, you would be in the same place. Okay. Okay. And what else is hidden? Here. Hmm. You see carved into the stone of the tunnel leading down very angular animalistic designs that set off like a deep fear in you. Ooh. What?

What was the name of that church that took away your shape shifting ability? Oh, yeah. Church of the Black Flame. Yeah. I think it was the Church of the Black Flame. Yeah. Things. Hair on his arm stands on end. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, like a tunnel going down. Like little alcoves with candles and stuff in them.

I can use demon eyes to try and get more information. Because it's trap expert, but for demon stuff. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Seven. So you get one question. Can I see the list? So is there an icon here? And if so, what icon is it? So the Church of the Black Flame, we've kind of suggested, was like a druidic sect that was corrupted by the Gibbous Man. And has like an affinity with the iconic realm and demons. Right.

Because they had the tattoos that they used as anchors to trap spirits within their bodies. Yeah. I like that it was like pulverized and in some sort of solution obsidian. Oh, yeah. Because it was like black tattoos. Yeah, it was black ink. Yeah, it was spirit ink and like blood that they used to make their tattoos. So there's an iconic presence. There's an iconic presence that you feel at the base of this tunnel. And it's the icon. You feel that it is reminiscent of judgment. Okay.

I tell these guys that. There's a demon down there. It's a demon of judgment. I don't want to go down there. I don't know if you guys do to investigate. I don't think I need to know what's down there. Yeah, Tuck takes a step back. He's like, feels like a bad place. I'm so curious. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

This thing that is, you know it's a trap. You know, the gibbous man literally talked to us and said, I see. What could we gain from going down there? You don't know. The odds of it being something that is like directly and extremely relevant to your quest and situation is not high. You just stumbled upon this thing. But there could be interesting or revelatory information down there, but there could also be extreme danger. There could be extreme danger. Lore stuff.

We could use in the end game against him. Because one thing that we did ask Morrison Perel to like keep an eye out for is like if there's anything that they know that would like kill the gibbous man. Mm-hmm. Yeah. What if I did a shadow dance and went down there? Like Billy's little fairy bit self went down there. Mm-hmm. It would have less purchase on you for sure. Yeah. You would also be slightly less aware of your surroundings. Mm-hmm.

But like if I'm less aware of it, it'd probably be less aware of me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. As far as we know, the fairy is distinct and safe from the iconic realm. Billy. Yeah. If you feel like you can go down there safely, then we trust you to do it. But how many hit points do you have? I have 15. Just keep that in mind. Okay. Yeah. Wait, hold on. Did you just ask Billy how many hit points he has? Sometimes he forgets. Keep in mind that you just got shot in the ass. Okay. With an arrow.

No, we didn't. No, we didn't. No, we didn't. No, we didn't. No, we didn't. No, we didn't. No, we didn't. No, we didn't. No, we didn't. No, we didn't. I'm not going to do anything to my ass. My ass will be up here with you guys. Yeah, I'm going to roll shadow dance to go in. Okay. Okay. And I know they can't come with me. Yeah. 2d6 plus. Wisdom. Wisdom. So a seven, which means I get one hold. You guys are like, I don't know if we should go down there. I don't think we should.

And then Billy just falls over. Okay. Yeah. He went down there. He went down there, didn't he? Okay. That's him going down there. Okay. Okay. Well, Doug picks up Billy. He's like, is there anything you could do to monitor him while he's down there? Here, spit on him. Yeah. Can I eye the tiger him? You can eye the tiger, his physical body, but not his spirit. Why not? Spit on his body. See if that helps. It's like, Billy. Billy. I just hear woo.

But we see Billy like stepping down the path, like into the tunnel very steeply. This sort of like half light of the ferry. When you're this far. From like the deep wells of the like transgression points into that realm. But you see carved in the wall in this twilight, the animal pictograms. But there's like a almost like a life in a movement to them as they're like writhing and braying and fighting on the walls. Oh, yeah. There there's so much discomfort here. Can I Spout Lore? Yeah, totally.

Yeah. 2d6 plus intelligence. Six. Okay. Oh, yeah. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. This might be limiting our exploration of the whole. Billy, do you have fair share? I do, but I have to spend a hold to use shadow dance. Yeah. So you'd be spending. You'd have one left for the day. I'd have one left. I'll have one left. Okay. You're looking at these symbols and sort of like in the way that they are animals and scenes of predation and hunger and the transfer of power from predator to prey. Yeah.

And prey to predator. You're reading in it an ancient language. The information is flowing from these images to you in a way that the thinking peoples, the speaking races have conveyed information in, you know, grunts and songs for thousands of years. And you think of this old, the church of the black flame that you have experienced before the dark guard. You see the symbols and the beliefs of all of these groups woven into the image of the dark guard.

You see the symbols and the beliefs of all of these groups woven into the wall under a single belief. And these animal images crawl along the wall on both sides of the tunnel to a bend in the stone at the base around the symbol of an eye. All of these groups, you believe the dark guard, the church of the black flame are in fact the same group. They are the eye and that they have, of course, for all time, worship the sky and the gibbous man in that way. When you reach the bottom of the stairs.

I think I want to ask the table what Billy finds. Like I thought that maybe that like you were showing like the animal carvings or whatever. So I thought it was sort of like this is what the land used to be or something. And then they took us all away. Like they consumed us all. And the people who were here took our bodies into their bodies, like into their skin. Yeah. I think that makes sense that like if this was one of the original places, yeah, the people that didn't have.

Power that wanted it and like found ways to give it to themselves. But in like this destructive way. Ooh, that is a good idea. I have an idea to build on that. Okay. So like if this was the first place where the original practices of the Magi were like perpetrated, we're like the first of the spirits that like walk this land were like chained and bound to people's bodies. There's like maybe like in the first peoples that settled here. In the fire fields.

Like maybe there's been like a consistent tradition potentially within the Royal family of like this practice where it's like passed down from monarch to monarch, prince up to Prince. I think that is a good idea. I think that's what it is. Yeah. The blood of all the spirits that they've consumed is manifest, like represented in the fire. Yeah. Blood red hair. Yeah. Like it's a. It's a mark of their. Like. Their blood letting. Yeah. They're containing the blood of the spirit walkers.

Like it's the blood of shape shifters and druids that could do it. That was the activating element in the, in the ink. Yeah. What they were using. It's almost like a thing where it's like you go down and you see the story of it and you see like the first deal that like the first of the monarchs of the fire fields made. And the succession thereof. I was thinking like on the other side.

All the animals are feeding into the eye and then men and power and buildings and weapons are coming out on the other side of the eye. Yeah. And I don't think that there's anything like physically really like Billy feels like, I mean, you can't see properly, but it feels like it ends here. Like there's a blockage.

And you feel like, uh, as you're like descending this tunnel and learning this story, you feel that like the iconic, like presence kind of pushing on the outside of the ferry and on the outside of yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And found unworthy to enter. Right, yeah. And then I'm being, it's like I'm being pushed back. I'm tripping back up the stairs. That's so cool.

The demon of judgment is the door to this place. I guess so, yeah. You feel like basically in a mechanical sense, you feel that fairy child hold be spent against your will. Yeah. And you are ejected from this place. Yeah. Bailey. Holy shit. What did you see? So much, you guys. Language. Sorry. No, I mean, sorry. I tell them what I saw. I think under the armor, we would find these tattoos. Like Colm and Callum are like members of the Magi? I think so. Okay.

That's something where we should let Farrah know. Yes. Right now. Yeah. Reach out to Black Spire. Should I do that now or should we? You can do that. We should go somewhere safe. We should go somewhere safe. We gotta get the fuck out of here. Yeah. I feel like he saw too much. Yeah. He knows we're here. We hear like in the distance. Like crashing through the trees? Crashing. We hear like a mech running. Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit. Don't, don't, don't. Yeah. Like bashing trees out of the way.

Get the key, get the key. We gotta go. We gotta go. Grabbing the key, jamming it in the hole. Yeah. You don't have to roll for this, thankfully. You get it. You can put a key in a hole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the door opens. Tuck takes Ving's key that he's been holding because Ving keeps losing it. And he jams it in the keyhole and like. Hey, we have the same key chain. Opens it. Yeah. Tuck goes, yeah, totally. And he whips the door off like the, that still works, right?

Yes, you can now get in, but now you can't close the door. I'm gonna smash it back in. Stop breaking metaphysics. Get in the door, get in the door. And as you, you, you step through the hallway into like the back area of Hither and Yon. Yeah. Before the door closes, I just want to look out and see the mech coming around the corner and Ving just kind of feels like this like guilt and like a longing for this type of thing.

And he feels for this, this creature that is singing the song of woe that he can't help. And you see the Harriers scattering. Yeah. As this mech comes crashing through the trees. The Harriers like spreading out and starting to draw bows and arrows and then plinking off the armor of this mech as it comes exploding into the camp. Quickly, I want to, I want to use a Bill of the Wisps and the new move Who Goes There. Oh, yeah. I want to try to lure away the mech from the Riverways people. Oh, smart.

Billy has a new move for listeners called Who Goes There. Can you read that? Yeah. So it's basically like a Bill of the Wisps except with a little wisp I can roll plus wisdom to lure, trick, or distract an opponent. On a seven to nine, I can distract one person. On a 10 plus, more people for longer. If I fail, it confuses the people on my side. 2d6 plus wisdom. Eee! Come on, come on, come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Book six, I will use my last fairy child to change it to a seven to nine.

Okay, so describe this and how Billy gets the Harriers to take advantage of this. It's like a gleaming arrow that I shoot out almost. Mm, cool. And the mech sees it as it like goes basically the opposite direction of the Riverways people. Yeah. And yeah, so this, the mech skids to a halt as the arrow whips back the way that it came and it turns and starts trundling back into the woods. Its head turns before its body turns. Yeah. Yeah.

And Pan looks to you like entering the shed and the door closed. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdulaziz. So long. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Goodbye, everyone. This show wouldn't be possible without our Patreon supporters all around the world.

If you would like to support the show, join us at patreon.com slash spoutlore or spoutlore.com slash money, please. And you'll get access to a bunch of cool stuff like the up-to-date Mall Brats feed, playtests for our post-spoutlore campaign up all night, full video episodes starting now. That's pretty sick. They look great. We all look amazing. Looks pretty good. Yeah, yeah. You all finally get to see how hot we are. Yeah. Boy, oh boy. Do I ever have the biggest lip fillers in there?

Such a problem. I got so thick and glossy. I got most of the bones from my shins removed and put into my cheeks. So I've got the sharpest cheekbones in the biz, baby. So sharp, they're piercing my skin. I got muscles bigger than tubs. Jess is actually nine feet tall. And nine feet wide. 450 pounds. You won't believe it. My chin is in a cut phase, finally. All four of us. Great. Hey, Canadian. Bacon. Bacon. Oh. Canadian bacon. Bacon. Triple food. Yeah. Oink, oink, audience.

Who's a little piggy who you could absolutely jack off to? Are we snackable finally? Okay, all right. Get on Patreon and fap to your hearts. I'm putting an end to this now. Putting an end to this. Thanks to Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music. If you want more of Aaron's music, check it out at aaronreid.bandcamp.com and thankfully, thank you, finally, and most of all, to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time. Ooh. Oh, God. Did you just come? He saw a reflection of himself. Ooh.

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3 who tried their best they can.

The The There's a woman and lost they be for times of rest and revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spell here Sean and Jared check this out and look at my lips whoa let me see whoa you're looking all of them beautiful lips yeah look at all of it wow that top lip is like a model's lip yeah how much do you think you would have to get paid to go clean shaven yeah I would never do it not even for one million dollars did you just watch Austin Powers no I was just trying to think of a big amount of money I was like a million is a big you said that like Dr.

Evil one million million dollars do you guys remember do you guys remember Austin Powers it's so good what did you do for two hundred thousand dollars two hundy thousand it would grow right back oh my god I guess I guess I'd do it for two hundred thousand dollars you heard that patrons time to get to yeah we're gonna start a Kickstarter oh yeah we'll shave our beards see Abdul's face yeah we'll all shave our beards yeah for money there you go haha haha haha haha

Hey what's up listeners sean your gm here stepping in to let you know that video episodes are up now on patreon also the rest of us are here too yeah hi patreon jess you don't have to put your headphones on hi uh so if you've been following us on social media you might have noticed that we've been posting a lot more video content like clips and shorts and those clips and shorts have been clipped and shorted from our full-length video episodes oh yeah baby we got hour long plus or minus depending on how long the actual episode is video episodes available on our patreon at the ten dollar level and I gotta tell you the stuff we're cutting out of the episodes and posting on the shorts and youtube and all that it's good stuff but it's not the best stuff it's the best stuff is in the full-length episode yeah do we lose any of the editing quality absolutely not we do not it's the exact same edit like it's a multi-cam edit it looks awesome kind of has the vibe of like a fast-paced panel show yeah yeah will we make these public in the future there's no way to say for sure but right now they're found exclusively exclusive on patreon only on patreon exclusive we can't make any promises about what we're going to do in the future because youtube is a great growth mechanism yeah but for right now they're on the patreon and also because we're learning we're figuring it out uh what kind of things are you gonna see paul's triangle face yeah all of us trying triangle face oh yeah we got we got also square rectangle mouth rectangle mouth it's a cassette I forgot about rectangle mouth I just got rectangle mouth too I naturally have rectangle mouth you do natural half half triangle as well yeah you've got a natural my mouth is very active and you can see it on video for only ten dollars that's a value you cannot deny you also get to see the thing where abdul flips his mustache up and makes us look at his top lip here I'll do it now it's so weird I can't tell you why it's a model's top lip never see his never see my top lip yeah full so full they're so luscious they're beautiful and you can get a look at that for just ten dollars a month video episodes will be up one week after the episode give or take there will also be video it takes this well who were recording out takes so the video takes might also be coming that's true and if you can't afford it that's cool just make sure you follow us on youtube we can see all the clips and shorts we've already released a shit ton of shorts when we release our shorts you'll release in your shorts that's really good right right just released in my shorts yeah because if you uh if you if you want to watch our shorts then holy shit are you gonna absolutely fill your shorts with cum that's like the thing that paul said but with a little cherry on the end yeah but I'm gonna cut paul's thing out and claim that I said it brilliant as long as you leave that part in reminds me of a certain fight we recently had on the show just a selfish guy uh so yeah that's it check out check out our show our video episodes now on patreon we'd love to see you there yeah bye yes Cool.

Just so high. Jessica bought a pair of wraparound glasses recently, and they've been taking over her personality. Just watched Scary Movie, and that ad that that one joke from it was based on. Jessica's been skateboarding and getting in trouble with the police recently, and she can't stop saying, what's up? Jessica was recently kicked out of Hillside Mall for skateboarding indoors. Jessica was recently brought up on federal charges for embezzlement, and she can't stop saying, what's up?

Jessica likes Diet Dr. Pepper. What's up? What's up? Jessica did the thing on the Hudson River. What is that? Where you brought down that American Airlines plane. Yeah. Oh. That Captain Sully Sullenberger heroically landed. I thought you were talking about the maple syrup scheme. Oh, Jessica had a maple syrup scheme going. Jessica robbed the Canadian Maple Syrup Exchange. Jessica's the handmaid's tale. Jessica is Margaret Atwood.

Jessica killed Margaret Atwood and took over her life like Talented Mr. Ripley. Oh. Ha ha ha ha!

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm Spout Lore, and I'm a fan of Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello everybody! Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello there. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes, they were speaking with M4, the warmack that Ving brought to sentience using a flask of Hibernian spirit water.

M4, after a brief, uh, who am I, what am I, what's being alive conversation, agreed to come with the party and the Riverways Harriers in their attempts to destroy a coal refinery in the clutches of the Firefields Principality. The plan was made that the three and M4, using their various disguises, would enter the refinery under false pretenses, while the Harriers went up and around the hillside in which the coal mine is buried to sort of sneak in the back way and prepare for an assault.

They entered the coal refinery. Ving and M4 went to sort of the mech motor pool. Billy and Tuck went to the medical tent, uh, and met doc, met Mr. Steven Doctor, um, a medic in the employ of the Firefields Principality. And Tuck, in his fugue, perfectly controlled, tactical unconsciousness, used his move Demonize to look out into the void and sense the demonic presence somewhere in the refinery. Or perhaps under the refinery. Billy had a conversation with Mr.

Doctor and discovered that the general plan of the Firefields Principality and the Blackhammer Twins is to more or less take over as much of the Principalities as they can and bring technological innovation and industry to the masses, bringing about a new golden age free of superstition and the remnants of wizardry. At the motor pool, Ving and M4 went to the refinery. Ving and M4 went to the refinery.

Ving and M4 went through sort of a, uh, upgrade process as Ving attempted to help M4 make some key modifications to his physical form using his spiritual essence and control over the elements. He sort of melded iron into M4's body and allowed him to make his own modifications, giving himself two hands and, uh, allowing himself to feed through the front of his chest. There were some prices that were paid at that time off camera. Metal moving about the workshop.

Gathering bits and pieces here and there. Then, meeting in the mess hall during the shift changeover, the party decided to go talk to the foreman, Sir Lee Masterly Thank you to, uh, listener and Discord member Ben for that name. And asked to investigate the mine on behalf of, they said, the Blackhammer Twins and the Royal Family. Lee Masterly agreed to allow you to inspect the mine as long as he could come with. So, inspect you did. He took you to the mouth of the mine.

M4 in his newly modified, beautiful Art Nouveau flowing metal armor form stood watch at the entrance of the cave and you descended deep into the bowels of the mine, finding at the base a coal deposit seemingly infiltrated, laced with fragments of darkest obsidian. And just as, uh, Tuck and Ving were about to succumb to some sort of overpowering spiritual sensory iconic influence, screams were heard. And, uh, Lee Masterly, who was a little bit more experienced,!

That is where we find ourselves now. In a fairy ring. In a fairy ring constructed by Fat Billy. Lee Masterly turns around, sword in his hand, and goes, My God, what's that? I don't know. Screams. Maybe you should go see what it is. I think you mean we. Yes, yes, of course. We. I'll bring up the rear. You go ahead. Okay. Okay. Oh, I see. Rich cowardice. I gotcha. Yes, I gotcha. Okay. And we sprint up the- Right. Your dad was rich. Yes. Who's that? Who's that? Oh, yes.

So the poors have to go in front. Yeah. I'm more of a delegation kind of guy. Get behind the poories. Use your poor, poor flesh to defend me. I'm kind of the guy who's like, makes the deal, the backroom guy. Yeah, so Tuck hears the screams and he runs back up to the top. Yep. We all run up to the top. Yeah. Great. And you run to the top, the mouth of the cave, M4 is there. And he looks down and goes, Ah, good, you're safe. Look. And down the hill into the refinery, there is pandemonium.

People are running around. It's hard to tell what's going on. But seems like chaos has broken loose in the refinery. What do you do? Discern realities. Okay. 2D6 plus wisdom. I got 15. Holy shit. These bones, no. That roll is so high. 15 is so high. 15 is too high. What do your alphys see? Yeah. You get three questions. In the long distance, a woman is walking down the street. And she's like, I'm not going to die. I'm going to die. And she's like, I'm not going to die.

And she's like, I'm not going to die. And she's like, I'm not going to die. And a woman comes out of the bath. Oh. Is it Alison? And he sees Alison. Ving sees Alison halfway around the world. A pin falls. Her shoulder becomes undraped. Who's really in control here? So at first it looks like there's some sort of like regular, like, you know, evacuation emergency, like maybe a fire or a gas leak or something. Yeah. Because you see people running around and officers or leaders trying to keep order.

But then you see coming out of the Mac Bay where Bing was earlier, very strange, like almost arachnid like conglomerations of iron and scrap metal and different materials like crawling very quickly out of the mechanic bay, tearing people apart. So they look like Decepticons. Kind of. Yeah, it's more like metal is flowed up them and is like coming off of them almost like cordyceps mushrooms. Oh, shit. Like. Like tendrils of it are crawling up. Rusty. Yeah. Rumps are growing off of them.

So it's like infectious now? Yeah. And they're tearing their way out of the mechanics bay. And I turn to M4 and I go, M4, you got to get out of here. I cannot leave you. You are too small. We'll be safe. This thing infects machines. We can't risk you. They can't infect me. No one tells me what to do. That's right. You're metal as fuck. And Tuck takes a glass bottle out of his backpack. And he whips it into one of the tubes and it smashes open. It starts playing like one of the pipes. Yeah.

One of the pipes on M4's back. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what does it start playing? Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord. But like. He starts storming down the hill. It's like that opening. And then it's like you hear the like speed metal drums come in. Uh huh. It's like a. Come on. It's like a power metal version. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. And he starts charging down the hill. Yeah. Oh, and they have sort of like the nouveau touches about them.

Like a little bit of an ask. Yeah. That like. He's like looking at. M4. Looks back at M4 and is like, hmm. Nature's price is being paid. Yeah. Looks at his knuckle in his skin. Oh, yeah. I see. Okay. Yeah. That actually makes way more sense. Yeah. And Tuck's like, man, where could these things have gone? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. It's probably because you don't have dreams anymore. Like it might be Tuck's fault. Is that what you're saying?

I feel so bad for gaslighting the two of you. And then Tuck's like, I did see that vision of Allison that turned into a spider. Yeah. It was my fault, guys. I did this. No, you don't have to take the blame for Tuck. He's like, I did this. I did this. It's because I was greedy and took too many shots. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's because I was greedy and took too many suckers. We did.

We took so many. It's all my fault. There's just these monsters scuttling around the yard trying to attack people. What should I be on the lookout for. Yeah. So what you should be on the lookout for. I guess that depends on what your goal is. Are you just trying to escape now or are you still planning on destroying the Refinery. Do we just burn it all down? Yeah. Now that we know that this is like a mine full of obsidian, is this a bigger threat? Is it more than just destroying the refinery?

And do we have to somehow like foul this entire mountain? I think we should foul it because I think that, yeah, they're getting coal. But I think the main thing, I bet they're secretly mining that obsidian. Yeah. Or they don't know what they're doing. They're using the coal and he's having a greater effect by them using coal that's laced with this obsidian. Yeah. The thing that I've been thinking is that the obsidian in the ground is like, it's basically the body of Christ. Yeah.

It's the Eucharist of the Darkman. Yeah. It's basically the Gibbous Man's Eucharist, right? Yeah. Okay. Gibbous Man. The Darkman. Yeah. I thought you meant to do that on purpose. I thought it was on purpose too. Oh, you know, the Darkman. The Darkman. Oh. Okay. So it's like basically the body of the Gibbous Man, right? Yes. Some folklore would suggest that, yes. Yeah. So, like, I mean, that's what the thief and the maid basically implied.

Like, Lillian shattered the sky and pieces of him fell to earth. Yes. The reign of night. So the reign of night. So cool. So these are like shards that came from the sky. Long ago. Yes. Didn't like form in the earth. Yes. Whoa. So like, okay. I like some, some, some folklores call it the dark pieces of the dark side of the moon. The back side of the moon. Oh, so cool. Before, as it shattered, the blackness on the other side that no one ever sees fell to earth. Yeah. Cool. That's sick.

That's very cool. Yeah. Back that ass up, moon. Back that dark ass up. Ooh, I like that dark meat, moon. The moon's like, what the fuck? Yeah. What are you talking about? Lillian's like, what? What the fuck? That's my dad, man. That's my dad that you're talking about. Yeah. So it would appear that this is a piece of obsidian. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause your ass is. I think you were going somewhere with the. Right. So like, what are they doing with it is the question.

I think they're just burning it. I don't know. Maybe it's as simple as they're burning it through the max and going up going up the way into him back to his own basic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like a way for him to almost like reconstitute himself. That's a good point. Like the dark wizard getting little bits of himself coming back. Yeah. Every little deed. He's basically free basing his own essence. Yes. That's good.

It's sort of like, if you think about it, like he taught them how to like create a mess. That's a good point. That's a good point. That's a good point. That's a good point. That's a good point. How to like create mechs. And then was like, here's the coal that you're going to need to run. Unfortunately, they run on this. Yeah. You got to burn this kind of coal specifically. That's laced with obsidian. So then it's a way for him to like build his power back up. It's adding black to the dark.

Yes, that's true. This guy is blackened out. Oh yeah. Cause like in the fire fields, when you look up, you just see like black clouds. It's just his body up there. And you're obscuring the stars, which to me has all the knowledge. Yeah. The druid knowledge. It's what he did with the druids. Yeah. Trick them into hiding themselves away. He's trying to do it all over the land. So sneaky. He's fucking doing it again.

And if he spreads industry across the principalities, then that would black out the sky for everyone. He's the Sbargis. We have to Captain Planet this guy. He's in the industrial revolution. Yeah. Oh yeah. He's like our Jeff Bezos. Oh, we better kill him fast. We're going to slice his throat open. Before he has $1 trillion. Yeah. We have to stop him from becoming a trillionaire and ascending. I think he is a trillionaire. Jeff Bezos? No, there's no trillionaires yet. There's no trillionaires?

It's a race to the trillions. They're racing for it though. Oh man. Do you think I'm still in the running? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Let me check your statement real quick. We're all trying to get there. Yeah. A hundred bucks. I'm way behind. I've never made, see, make that face. It's so funny. Yeah. Guys, I'm way off. It kind of looks like Puppet Pop. It was a great face. That was really good.

I like that we're all at this stage of our friendship where just making a funny face we haven't seen before is the height of comedy. Remember Triangle Face? Yeah, Triangle Face is great. I barely remember Triangle Face. I've seen Triangle Face. Have I? Mm-hmm. You've seen it. Oh yeah. I don't know why it's so upsetting, but it is. I love you, Sean. I don't think we're supposed to eat that many teeth. Triangle Face. What it does to my eyes. You look like a puppet. You look like a marionette.

It's just so much. Rectangle face. Rectangle face. Rectangle face. Rectangle face. Rectangle face. Rectangle face. Rectangle face. Rectangle face. Rectangle smile. You look like a puppet that's hanging on the wall at a truck stop. How do you do that? If it's a tape, perfectly. Horrible. It's awful. Oh, Jessica's truck. Oh, that's pretty good. You're good there. Yes. I don't think I can do it. The top flip is the hardest part. You've got it. It's so hard. Yes.

I've never seen anyone get it immediately. Wow. Look at you. Jess, so proud. Okay. Okay. So. He basically has control of the Blackhammer twins, and he's telling them to mine them. Mine this ore and burn it in the max. Mine this coal that's spiked with obsidian, which burn it in the max. Which would send it up into the air. Yeah, right. Putting it into the sky. Putting it back into part of his body, like the Dark Lord gathering pieces of his self. That is a very interesting theory.

And parts of it was being breathed in and consumed by the army. And it's physically part inside these war machines. Right. Yeah. And covering all their weaponry and their whole army is coated. Yeah. The convoy we were in was basically a convoy to protect this coal. Yeah. Yeah. And we saw the people in the mess hall who were sad, gaunt, and angry. Yeah. Oh, it's not the soup. It's not the soup. It's not the soup. The obsidian. It's the only thing keeping them alive. Oh my gosh.

And that can explain, because Ving, you noticed that there was something strange about how the max were constructed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It might have been the construction. It might have been the spirits and the materials reacting to the gibbous man's infected coal. It might have been… Actually, can I Spout Lore on this?

Because I think it might have been the gibbous man that gave the firefields designs, kind of spurred the firefields towards this more mechanized nature. Hold on. Hold on. So when you say spouting lore, where would Tuck be getting this information from? The music bottle. This is a music. He wrote an album. Yeah. There's ancient drawings on the cave walls that we're in. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. It was in their manual, their employee manual. No. That we were reading while we were eating dinner. Yeah.

Yeah. Tuck, he hears the icon of servitude talking to him. Okay. Sure. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Okay. He would know that. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. 2D6 plus intelligence, I guess. Yeah. Here we go. So then I rolled a seven. I'm going to use my druidic lore to aid him. Yeah. 2D6 plus bond. Wow. One and a five. Okey doke. So Tuck spends so long thinking about this that he gets shot with an arrow. He's just like, it shoots him. Random guy. He gets shot by an arrow. Just like the lunch guys. Drunk guy.

Yeah. Drunk guy throws an ax at him. Ow. Fuck. Oh, what the fuck? No. So I think at the top of this hill, you're all standing here and a few of the rust monsters that are standing there are just standing there. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. To the surface. You said there's many mines?

There's a bunch of mouths, but you would assume having seen what's at the base that it's all going to the same deposit. A hydra of lava. I love that. That's cool. And it flows up all the other entries into these caves. Fill all the caves and then solidify it. Yeah, just turn it into slag. Great. Call of Nature is 2d6 plus wisdom? Plus con. Plus con. Okay. I want to use eager beaver, so I get plus one. Great. I got a nine. Oh, I aid. Okay, how are you aiding being in this? We defend him.

Yeah, we defend him. Oh, yeah. I guess you form a ring in front of him, a half ring as these things come up the hill. Yeah, so we'll fight these monsters and you do your shit. And it's like the ground shaking and cracking open. Steam coming out behind you. Billy, like, stepping… The aid is just Billy stepping forward and being like, don't worry, thing. We've got this. And then Tuck turns to Vig, and he's like, yeah, I'll take care of it. Thank you. Just doing my best over here. 2d6 plus bond.

Six. Oh, fuck, I'll help. I'm sorry. Okay, you can aid the aid. I'll aid the aid. Come on. Yes, Billy, you're gonna go into bad guy mode and ruin these guys. Yeah, Billy can feel himself going into bad guy mode. I rolled an eight. Great. So eight makes that a seven, makes that a ten. Yes! Plus! Great. Wonderful. So I get three requests. So yeah, this is a call upon… When you call upon the aid of a spirit, choose an element at hand. Lava. And roll plus con.

Seven to nine, you create a physical form of the spirit to inhabit and gain one request. Ten plus, you gain two requests. While you have hold, the spirit will attempt to aid you to the best of its ability. So he's creating a physical form for this, like, lava spirit. Cool. Which is a hydra snake. And he's got his hands down on the ground. And then, like I said, it's bubbling. There's puddles, and they start… Oh, yeah. Mud bubbling up from below. Earth crack opened. Steam. Bubbling lava.

Fire flam. It's like pyrotechnics during a rock show. Yeah, totally. They start firing off. Deep from the mouths of the caves, you can see this little glowing light from down, deep down in the shaft. Oh, cool. Like the ball rock. Yeah. If there was, like, a camera that, like, panned down, it'd be like, you'd see, like, the heads of snakes, like, slithering out from the earth. Yeah. Just like Beyblades.

The thing I was imagining was, like, seeing, like, a tunnel, and then, like, one wall of the tunnel starting to glow red, and the snake, like, burning through it, and then through the other wall and disappearing into the stone. The hissing, burning snake. Yeah. Steam and shooting. Bursting through. We see each little cave of obsidian. Yeah. Well, once you roll those 2d6 plus request, plus three. Okay. Let's see if this succeeds. Holy shit. Boy, does it. 13. 13. Fuck yes! Fuck yes!

Yeah, so from the mouth of the cave, there's, like, bubbling and smoking, and this, like, weird roar is oxygen is pushed out of the caves. You can feel heat washing up from the tunnel. There's, like, heat waves boiling your vision, and, uh, the mouth in front of you at least is sealed as molten stone flows up from the base of the cave. Surly's, uh, running away. He's like, no! My father's investments, no! He's going to kill me! We have to save my value!

Please, poor people, throw yourself into the flames! Extinguish them now! You cowards! Poor bodies to put the fire in! My coal! My valuable coal! This guy is basically Craig DeRock. My equity! He's on his knees in front of one of the mouths of the cave. And then he goes, This accounts for five percent of my family's wealth! Five percent! Which is a trillion dollars. That's pretty good. They have a lot.

But you can, uh, you can feel that at least most of the entry, like, the, this, it will be difficult for anyone to get to this deposit. Yeah. Uh, for quite a long time. Cool. It is not impossible, I will say. You could keep getting the spirit to work on this to make sure it is never again seen by human eyes. Oh yeah, like churn it? Churn it, yeah. I want that. I want it to like, so it's like a solid snake of lava coming up deep from the thing. It splits into a hydra into all these caves. Yeah.

Oh! Comes out and on the other side, Horus Boris, Holus Bolus? Ouroboros? Ouroboros? Oh, Ouroboros. On the other end, collects again into a solid snake. Ah. Churns the mountain side. Cool. Yeah. We cut back up to the Harriers and it's like, is that a lava snake eating its own ass? You guys think it's getting hot up here? What the fuck? Is it getting closer or just bigger? Yeah, okay, well, so 2d6 plus 3 for this. I forgot they were up there. I got 10. I don't know. What the fuck happened? 10.

Yeah. I'm realizing I might have made this move too powerful. It's so powerful. It's too powerful. We'll find a way to fire it. You overpowered literally everyone's moves except for mine. Well, that's because you- You could kill or survive anything. Yeah, yeah, okay. I feel like you fucked up all of our moves. I did, I really did. You guys are unbelievably powerful. We can find a way of fixing this. Yeah, we'll see. I'm sure, I'm sure it is more balanced than I'm imagining. Yes. I like it.

And it is cool. And I like that it's lighting up the battlefield. Yeah. Yeah, I like that this thing like, you know, you hear it like rumbling in the cave and then like this massive glowing snake head like emerges from a cave mouth and then dives back into the hillside. Cool. It is- There's like an ancient firefield's legend of a lava snake too. It's like he's awoken it. Yeah. Meanwhile, Billy and Tuck, these rust monsters are attacking very- We're about to do something. Wait, not as cool. Yeah.

It's really uncool. They're coming up the hill. This is the reverse of that mech fight from a few episodes ago. Oh no, oh no. Redemption! Oh the die! Have seen me in my woe. So there's three of them and they look like a yard sale has a score to settle. There's like just a pile of shit rushing up this hill at you. What do you do? Oh, I grab a shovel. Oh yeah, I do. I'm a bad guy now. Yeah. As I was in inspired. I was inspired by Tuck. Excellent. Yeah. So a bad guy now as we all remember for sure.

Yeah, I call upon my winter form to fight in a flurry. Mm-hmm. Roll plus wisdom. Zero to six, I get one hold, but I'm forced into my winter form until next sunrise. Mm-hmm. Seven to nine is two hold and a ten plus is three hold. Great. Sick. Yeah. And you are in your winter form. I am, so I I don't know, I just- We'll figure something out. I'll push it to two days. Oh. Yeah. What if you- what if it doubles the debility? Because you know how you take- Oh. You take a debility now for winter?

I like that. Yeah. Maybe it doubles the debility. Interesting. That makes sense. Yeah, like in my winter form, my debility is like I don't have any charisma. So maybe your charisma goes- You could take a debility. Yeah. Yeah. To minus one. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Terrible. Alright, two to six plus wiz. Seven. Seven. Holy shit. Yes! Yes! Yes! Perfect. Two holds. Okay. Two hold. Not bad. And you could feel the winter take a deeper hold of you. Yeah, I feel powerful.

As these foes rush towards your family. Oh, and it's like interacting with the heat of like the magma snake that's coming out. Also, Billy's like steaming. Yeah. Oh, so cool. Steamy boy. I like that. He's looking like a little pierogi. Yeah, and one of these monsters right in front of you, it's rushing up the hill. It's kind of like almost a centipede-like configuration of scrap and flowing iron. Iron that is unnaturally flowing. It is not hot, but it moves like liquid.

Wait, sorry, they're molten still, kind of? No, they're not molten. What? The iron itself is moving like it's organic. Creepy. Okay. Yeah. I want to, there's like a shovel by the opening of this cave, so I grab that and I want to like jam it into like any moving parts. Yeah, perfect. I guess there's three holds that I can choose from, so it's I can either terrify an enemy, deal damage to an enemy within reach, or I can freeze someone or something in place.

So I think I'll deal damage with this shovel. And your damage is two d6s. Yes, because of my winter form. Right, in the winter form. Yes, that's great. I have made, yeah, you're right, I've made you all too powerful. I've made you all way too powerful. You are so powerful. Roll a 12! Three. Okay. I need 12 if you pump together. So one and a two. So unfortunately, Billy, this horrible centipede thing is rushing towards you and you are like, oh, fuck you monster.

And you like jam it forward and it just fully clangs off of this thing. The metal like almost flows into the hit. It takes the shovel into its It's stronger now! It grabs the shovel head and like snaps it off of the handle and integrates it into its body. Well now I have a shovel blade. Ah. You do technically have one more hold there. Right, I'll try to deal damage to another one that's coming up. Okay, yeah, to a different one, yeah. This one looks like a shopping cart.

I need more help with these. A mining cart? That's fine. Oh, it's like a broken down mine cart. With like spiderwebs legs? Yeah, totally. Oh, creepy. Oh yeah, like in the Wild Wild West. Yeah, I'm gonna try to chop its legs off. Okay, yeah, go for its little spidery legs. Yeah. That's two sixes. I got twelve. Holy shit! Now you get twelve. Yeah. Hold on, let me look at math for a second. Yeah. Oh, this one's toast. Yes! So how did, what does Billy do to this thing?

Um, yeah, I take the shovel, which is now a blade since the bit's been taken off. Oh yeah, it like sharpened the remaining part of the shovel. It's so sharp that when I slice it's like, it leaves a bunch of like, you know, like stars when you're like, Yeah, sparks. Yeah, sparks. Stars. This is great. Yeah. Yeah, and it's just, the legs are shorn off. Shorn off. And now it's on its like little back with its leg nubs going, ahhh. Yeah.

And the pieces kind of like unconstitute and roll back down the hillside. Uh, Tuck, there's the one that Billy just made stronger and sharper with a broken shovel head. Yeah. I'm running behind Billy like a parent that's like running behind his kid on a pump track. Uh huh. And he's like, alright, you're good, you're good. He sees Billy grab a shovel next to a giant sword. And then sees Billy jam the shovel into the thing. Uh huh. It takes it.

And then he sees him whip around and then slice through another one. And he was like, whoa! Good job, buddy! And then gets slammed in the face by the one that took the shovel. Yeah, you're like pushed back a few feet by the weight of this metal centipede. Shit! And it's, you can see the shovel head that it's formed into this like biting mouth. Whoa! Chomping in your face. Yeah. Clank, clank, clank. A pickaxe, like scorpion tail. Yeah.

It forms, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, out of the legs of the other one. Oh, sick! Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank. Yeah, make it more deadly, guys. Slamming the ground on either side of your head. Whoa! Am I allowed to do this? Yes. It's great. It's super cool. This kind of sets me up for Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken.

When you prepare yourself to endure some hardship without fighting back and it's, like, he gets hit by this thing because he was too impressed by Billy's bad guy moves. Yeah. The roll plus con on a hit, you can either take half damage or you can completely ignore one other I'll effect. On a ten plus, you also defeat, expose, or frustrate your oppressor with your stubbornness. Uh-huh.

So it hits me and I kind of like let it take me to the ground and, like, do sort of a grappling move where I try and, like, shred it while it's on top of me. Okay. So you're letting it hit you. Yes. Whoa. Holy shit. Is that… Ouch. You got a 12 too. I rolled a three. I rolled a one and a two. And then my con is three, so that's six. Eight. Someone help me. Oh, I'll aid. Yeah, Billy, how are you aiding? I see the sword finally. Oh my god, there's a fucking sword. Oh, yeah. Look at this thing.

Cool. And I pick it up and, ooh, it's molten. But wait, do you touch it with your winter form? Oh. Oh. It cools the handle to a touch. It cools the handle to a touch. Yeah, cool. But the blade stays red. Yeah. Sick. That's happening. That's what's happening. That's what's happening. Two to six plus bond. Yeah. So plus bond, 12. Yeah. Fuck yeah. So you grab this sword and, like, swing at this thing while it's on the contact? Yeah, I hit its stupid tail. Hell yeah. Yeah.

And it, whunk, shores it right off. Yeah. It makes that screeching, groaning metal noise. Mm-hmm. It throws its balance off, too. Which makes your thing a seven. Yeah. Seven to nine for… Makes my thing a seven, so I only take half damage. Yep. So you're rolling a d8. So that's six. So it gets divided to a three. Yeah. Which is no damage for my armor. Except this ignores armor. Oh, no! Which is, which feels strange. Because it, like, is biting into you and you can feel your flesh rusting. Oh.

Oh, gross. Whoa, gross! Yeah. It's got the effect. Mm-hmm. The cordyceps. Oh, the cordyceps. What's that show called? Last of Us. Yeah, that's what's happening right now. But it's not, it's not giving me a disease, is it? Well, your flesh is rusting a little bit, but so what? So what? Get over it. Okay, so Tuck's pissed and he just punches through the middle of this thing. Yeah, there you go. Nine. Yeah, great. Can I eight again? Oh, yeah. Yeah, totally. Sure.

Yeah, you've got your glowing sword. Whoa. Twelve. Jesus Christ. I also punch with the sword. So this glowing blade punches through the chest of this thing, like, two inches from Tuck's face. What? Yeah. Are you okay? Yeah. Oh my god, it tried to stab me! Oh my god, Billy, watch out! These things have swords they can grow. Yeah. They have molten swords that they can just stab out of the… It looks like it killed itself by doing that. Oh my god. That's so scary.

It's like the sting of a bee, the last sting. Go ahead and roll your damage. That's a ten plus for hack and slash. Oh, fuck yes. Oh, that's a four, but can I put myself in danger to roll another d10? Is it d10 or d6? I think it's d6. Are you rolling your damage? Yeah, my damage was a four. Yeah, so you roll a four and then you can roll another d6 by taking additional damage. Yeah, I'll do that. Nice. Two. Great. Totally useless fucking thing. So I take additional damage. Four.

So I took more damage than I gave. So you can feel the rust spreading across the bite on your neck. Oh. You're just like, oh, fuck! It's taking more damage in this fight than I have in the last, like, half season. Yeah. Because the first thing that you did was willingly take damage despite the fact it hadn't really attacked you. You were like, I would like to take damage, please. Yeah, it was a good move.

And then Tug looks at you, Billy, as he gets up and he's like, ugh, I'm really pulling a Ving in this fight. What? Doing something cool? Rolling snakes, like, in a cave of fire. Don't worry, Tug, I'll protect you. I grab another molten sword. Great, yeah. Swing it really cool. Fucking sick. And I land in a Chun-Li pose. Yeah, cool. Swords out glowing, steaming. Leg up. Yeah, leg up. We'll check in on Ving for a sec. Tug gets hit with an arrow. Oh, why? Why do people keep doing this?

Oh, right in my rust. Guys, did you see how I'm rusting? Ew. But yeah, Ving, this I haven't had a tennis shot in years. That's what's happening. I just am getting tense. Oh my god, look, Tug. I'm locking up. I don't want to go back. You're turning into Tin Man. I don't know, I take it back. Yeah, Ving, you've sealed this deposit for generations deep below the earth. You can feel through your spiritual connection this hillside slash the small mountain that it's a part of is having a hard time.

The glowing molten snake is just fucking carving tunnels through it. Yeah, and it's like going up and over the tracks, destroying some of their infrastructure, jumping up, twisting and then turning back into the ground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Goes up, does a 360, kickflip, dives back into the mountain, comes back out. Jesus Christ air snake. Christ air, yeah. Jesus Christ air. It's a Christ air. Jesus Christ air. Yeah, so what do you do now? I mean, I guess I still have control of this snake.

You sure do. And this thing's hungry for destruction. Great. Is there a clear path down through these monsters? No. There's two people. There's two, at least two people. There's M4 and then there's like groups of workers. Like there's lots of people down here. And this thing's pretty big, I think, right? The snake? It's quite big. Yeah. It's quite big. So I can make one smaller stake. I leave the majority of the Lovets to the snake. Yeah, yeah. I've destroyed all the things. Yeah.

I have one small lava snake that I want to send down and help tuck. Yeah. I would say it will be a request for it to change its form for you. Okay. So you'd have to roll for this. So this would be 2d6 plus request. Wow. So I lost one. And it fails. I didn't forget. It fails and you lose a request. So it refuses. It's just like, yeah. It's so hungry, it refuses to change its form. That's pretty cool, actually. Yeah. And the fire fields, it's like, there's so much lava here. Yeah.

And I think, like, the influence of the Gibbous Man is probably, like, it has a weird effect on spirits. Also, he's molten the obsidian into its core. Yeah, you can see there's, like, bubbling obsidian kind of in this thing's scales, the molten lava scales. And you do, Ving, this was something that you're sort of just realizing, is the iconic and the spiritual, like, the iconic plane and the spirit world are distinct.

Places their energy is distinct, and some scholars think antithetical to one another. But it seems like the obsidian and this iconic influence is corrupting or infecting the spiritual nature of the coal and the elements around it, which should be impossible. It seems to be what's also happening with, like, these, like, rust monsters, too. Yeah. Because that's nature's price, it's a spiritual thing, but it looks, they, this is not normal for spirits. Yeah, they're not acting within their nature.

No, yeah. It's almost like the spirits themselves, and they're vessels, like, are possessed by icons, which should not be possible. And that is terrifying to you. That makes sense why, um, like, they're rusting. Because it's like, it's killing the the minerals in, like, the iron can't survive this, I guess. It is an impurity. Yeah. It's, like, naturally corruptive. Yeah. I want to stop the snake. It's done its job. I need to end it.

It's like, and I'm refusing this request, and I feel like I have no control while I'm ahead. Yeah. I've learned in the past to let it go. I want to try to, as a request. To dismiss it, yeah. To dismiss it. Totally. Yeah, it, like, it comes up out of the earth and, like, rears its head, and it kind of, like, shakes its body in this really slow way, and molten stone and obsidian are, like, sloughing off of it. Dripping. As it looks down. Geysering. Yeah. Okay.

2d6 plus request to dismiss this thing. Eight. Right. So it succeeds, and it looks down at you, and you can see like, these massive glowing eyes, and it connects with you. And it knows the wisdom in this. It knows the wisdom in sending it back, and it accepts. And it falls down all over Ving. Oh, yeah, and he's just wreathed in lava. Yeah. Molten stone. Because you're impervious to fire, right? Yeah.

I like the idea that, like, it hits you when you kind of, like, stand up and there's this cape of molten lava flowing off of you. Cool. Can I throw some at some of these creatures? You could use elemental mastery for that, for sure. Oh, I want to use nature's fury when I utilize my command of elements to combat your enemies in my damn hand, which does ten. So I just want to, like, throw a spear of lava that will solidify in the air. That's really cool. Cool.

We've let- have we always- remind me, have I made him roll elemental mastery for combat? No. If it's an element that he describes as using- yeah, right. If it's in the environment. Yeah, and you're covered in lava, so yeah. You've also, like, allowed him to have an infinite bandolier of elements, basically. No, I have not allowed. It's just you guys keep saying he does have one. What are you doing? Shut up. You're the one that made it fucking scorpion, dude. You made a fucking scorpion.

I look like a stupid idiot out there. I had to be saved by a little boy. A little fucking boy. A little stupid little stupid boy. I was the one who looked like you out there. The fattest boy I've ever seen. That just saved me. And Billy's just watching this, like- From a lot of fucking lawn chair, dude, because you gave it a scorpion tail. Billy's just got his arms straight by his side watching you say this, like, uh. They are fighting. They are fighting. D10. Uh, yeah.

No, you gotta roll- so this will be hack and slash. We're kind of past the honeymoon phase. Oh, for sure. Oh yeah, what's the opposite of honeymoon? I guess it would be volley, because you're like striking from a distance, right? So it's 2d6 plus dexterity for volley. But it's a d10? Oh, that's for the damage. It would be a d10 for the damage, yeah. Seven. Okay, seven to nine. Go ahead and roll your damage. Ten. That's a ten. Holy shit! Uh, so- Fuck! Ten. Yeah, you torched this thing.

So you still take damage from it. Uh, so go ahead and roll a d8. Six. Six damage. Ignores armor too. I hear ya. And, uh, so the other one- we- oh wait, we've described two. There's the centipede, there's the spider shopping cart. Yeah. What's the third one look like? The lawn chair. A bunch of lawn chairs. You know when, like, when your uncle can't get- figure out how to throw his lawn chairs away, so he just piles them up? I'm gonna repair those someday. It's fine. Sure you are.

Uh, yeah, and you, uh, that thing's like scuttling up the hill. It like crawls over Tuck and the centipede one. To get to you. So disrespectful. Come on, man! Tuck's stuck under the centipede one cause it's so heavy. And the lawn chair monster's butthole's right on your face. Yeah. Like, like smears it down your face. Yeah, it smears this oil rust sheet across my face. Oily, rusty latex. And Tuck's just scared to move cause he's still got like that point of that sword that goes- Yeah.

Uh, but it gets over Tuck and the centipede and comes careening towards you as you like form this javelin out of the lava on your body. Hurl it through. It explodes. Shatters into pieces, but those pieces fly forwards with the momentum. And kind of like jam into your body. Oh. And you can feel the rust start creeping across your flesh. And any metal- you look down and you're like, oh fuck! Cause like this is not a thing that should happen to people. Your flesh shouldn't rust.

And any metal pieces on your armor start to flake away as well. Ugh. Oof. But it is destroyed. And now the last one is on top of Tuck. M4 looks down. He's like, do you need help with that? And Tuck, full of toxic masculinity goes, nah, I'm good. Okay. I'm going to go see if anyone else needs help then. Boom. Boom. I love that Tuck has like been emasculated by us. He's so mad about it. Tuck has been emasculated by a broken mini-fridge. Like he's freaking out at a living appliance. Yeah.

No, no, I'm fine. I'm good. I'm good. I got this. Just let me die. Don't look over here anymore. I got this guy right where I want him. Ow, ow, ow. Yeah, and M4 stomps away to go see if he can clear out- cause there are a couple other rust monsters down there. You drew the attention of a good group of them for some reason. For some reason. He's the obvious threat. And Tuck, yeah, you've got this thing. It's snapping at you. Your chest is rusting over. Billy killed it, didn't he?

No, Billy killed the other one. I killed the cart. Oh, shit. Yeah. And then you tried to kill it, but you did like two damage or something like that. Fuck. Yeah. Okay, so it's still alive. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Tuck didn't realize that when he told M4 to fuck off. Shit. Come back! M4? M4! Cause it was still two, I guess cause it was reconstituting after like the other centipede crawled over him. Yeah. And then it just like started snapping at him again. Ah, fuck! Ah! Yeah, just one more hit. Okay.

Here we go. This is gonna redeem everything that's happened so far. Uh-huh, let's see it. I wish I had a move that did that. What? What? I was just thinking about Black Spire's like his like… Sunstone blast? Oh, the Sunstone blast? His little Yeah. I wish… Is that the sound he makes? Yeah, the little flashbulbs that goes like So cute! Yeah. Like this. Oh man, where is he? Yeah. Can we cut to Black Sp- no. Can I commune with him right now and ask him to- I don't know why you would.

This is the- Why would you make yourself less aware? Blast March, show me how to do that. As you're like fucking arteries being chewed on by a metal monster you're like, just a sec, I gotta take this. Tuck is like, a simple hit will not regain my toxic masculinity. Uh-huh. I need to do something so cool. So he tries to commune with Black Spire with the purpose of, feel free to veto this, getting Black Spire to do the Sunstone activation cause that transferred to his like, things in his chest.

What happened when you did that last time? When I was dreaming, he was showing me how he could do like, Sunstone breath. Yeah. It was like these like, flashbulbs of incredibly intense Sunstone light and then when I woke up, the coins were glowing with like, Sunstone light. Uh-huh. I do like this. I wanna commune with him. It's pretty cool. And you said, It's kinda cool. You said that there was a corruption in the spirits that was an iconic corruption. So you're like, it's already allowed. Yeah.

No, that's not the part that's not allowed. You already allowed it, Sean. So Tuck punches himself in the face to fall asleep. Wait, hold on a second. Hold on a second. Sean. Uh-huh. I don't have any balls anymore. My husband-wife took them away from me and my son sliced my dick off too. That was not our intent. No, what I was gonna say was that your girl let me do that. No, what I was gonna say, no, the part that I think is ridiculous is the making yourself unconscious.

You've already set up the fact that this void connection happens when you're awake too. Why would you make yourself brain damaged in the middle of a fight? Oh yeah, just stay awake. Just don't do that part. In order to do this. Okay, I'll stay awake. It's still barely makes sense. But Tuck, he does the thing where he takes a breath. And it all goes slow-mo. Yeah. This thing snapping at his face. He like looks over at Ving. He's got this like beautiful like symphony of lava around him. Uh-huh.

He looks over at Billy. He's got like six more grape suckers in his hand. Hey, work. Get those from… I'm not telling you. That's too much sugar in one day. Tuck's having a hard time. It's almost bedtime. That's too much. This is gonna give you bad dreams. Tuck's just like, wow, this slow-mo thing is taking a long time. It's usually not this long. Uh, yeah, so, it's slowing down and this is the connection with Black Spire attempting to take form.

Yeah, and it's like the camera like zooms in on his face and he like closes his eyes and attempts to connect through the void with Black Spire. Yeah, okay, so this is gonna be a 2d6 plus wisdom. Uh-huh. And then we'll see what the dice say. I need a dice. I dropped all of mine. No. No. We couldn't even I couldn't even… Tuck Abdul tried to find the die and realized it was one of the little ones and got so wrong. I fell into the tiny crooks in my closed fingers and couldn't be grabbed.

You just get like stuck in there? Ew, no! Here, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. He's good, he's good, he's set. Here we go. 2d6 plus wisdom. Okay, okay, okay. This is cool. Black Spire. Oh, thank god! Oh, no. That's so funny. Oh, man. Wow. Wait. So cool. The die are directing this episode. Snake eyes. Fuck, how the fuck did that fucking happen? Did you sleep with the die's wife? Fuck! Fuck! So what does happen? I can't fucking believe that happened. I'm actually sorry.

But it's really funny. Yeah. But I'm also sorry. I hate this feeling. I'm so sorry. It's so funny. It's so funny. It's the worst role you've ever done. It's the worst. I know what I'll do. And it was so cool. It's so cool. Don't worry, I know what's gonna happen. I'm about to be murdered. Okay, what if we just wipe Sean's memory? What if we stop the recording and beat the shit out of Sean? Okay, so go ahead and roll two six plus wisdom. You get a plus five.

So you try, you're like, okay, I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do a thing I've never done before. I'm gonna commune while awake with my dragon bro halfway across the world and summon some sort of Iron Man chest beam. Yeah. Basically, that's what he's doing. We all know this is gonna work. One, two, three. Oh no. I'm just getting stabbed. But there's a huge, like you're holding this thing, like you are like, wait no, I'm still in a fight and you have to like hold it back.

But I don't think that the failure is necessarily straight damage. I think you hear a rending crash from below. What? And you like turn towards the yard and you see like smashing through the side of the mech bay is a rust covered warmac. It is like got these tendrils of rust sort of in an Art Nouveau style crawling up its body and almost like reaching into the air and it tears itself out of the bay. There is another threat on the field.

Oh, and when it tears itself out, there's like a howl comes out of the pipes. Its pipes are like It's like so in pain. Yeah. You said that the pipes have the faces of animals on them. Sometimes, yeah. These ones kind of look like all tendrils of rusty spider legs coming off. It's just all gross. Yeah. Look, it looks like it's got like a fringe of like crawling spider legs on its back. There's like smoke pouring out of them. Yeah. Yeah. It took took Fuck. Billy, what do you do?

Billy, I got dibs on the big one. Dibs. You just gotta get this little one off me and then I'll be A-OK. Oh, no. I will defend. I'll use defend. Yeah, defend. Defend totally works. Yeah, I roll plus constitution. 2d6 plus con. To protect Tuck from this thing that is just slowly murdering him in front of you. Nice. Twelve. Oh, fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Wow. Holy shit. This is fucking crazy. I just pass these ones to you. So on a defend, I believe you get a play anymore.

I don't want to play this game anymore. Billy does is he commutes with Black Sparrow. Okay. He like touch tone dials the chest. He just opens Tuck's mouth and starts yelling into it. Black Sparrow. Yeah, so I think you get three hold with defend on a 10 plus. Oh, shit. OK. I'll deal damage to the attacker equal to my level. So you're level five right now? Yes. Yeah, so you can spend that hold and deal five damage. Great. Well, are you still using your like burning sword?

I am and I'm going to try to cut its head off. Yeah, totally. What's in its side of it? You can try and rip it up through it. Oh, yeah. That's what I do. Oh, you don't even have to roll. You just deal your damage. You spend the hold. You grab the sword. Yank it up. Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. And it splits up the top and now it's kind of like got two halves that are waving back and forth. Oh, like T-1000. Yeah, it looks like it's barely staying together.

It's like trying to the two halves are like grasping at each other trying to pull it back together. And it's like little spider legs that are trying to like reach each other again. You see them like once in a while they'll like blink and then yank and it gets a little bit closer, but it's holding it's having trouble. Can I redirect an attack from Tuck to myself? Absolutely. Yes! I can do it! Tuck, believe in me! I do believe in you. What are you doing down there? This is my fault.

Can you get up and get your head in the game? He's taking damage for you. Fuck you! And it like peels itself off of Tuck and you can see like it's little legs are like pulling out of Tuck's flesh. And then it like rears back lazily and flops towards you. Yeah, and I'm being like, hey, come here and suck my D! Whoa! Brilliant! I wonder where he got that from. I bet you can't beat me up. I bet you can't get me, you stupid little worm. Great. Yeah, it's gonna try and attack you for sure now.

And I'm swinging the hot sword around. It's cooling off. You're basically doing a what are you waiting for? Yeah, I've seen Tuck do it enough and he's like, I'm gonna make Tuck feel really cool. If I do Tuck's moves successfully, that'll make him feel better about himself. You try to get this thing to attack you and you get your wish. It is attacking you. How are you defending yourself? Yeah, I'm defending myself with a sword chopping away at it.

To be clear, this is defy danger because it is attacking you. Okay. Defy danger dexterity. Okay. Five. Five. Shit. So this thing's gonna bite you. Okay. You're taking a d8 of damage. Okay. One. Okay. Yes. It's barely nicks me. Yeah, and it slices you with like a jagged piece of metal. Yeah. And you can feel like the little cuts start to like harden and rust on your, and your flesh is like flaking away. Ew. Ew. What? But it is now wide open for an attack.

For my last hold, can I give a plus one to that ally? Yeah, totally. Which ally? Ving. To Ving, yeah. Yeah, I assume. Yeah, it's distracted. I assume. It's distracted trying to attack Billy. So what do you do? Tuck's like, yeah, I didn't want that plus one anyway. I see what Ving's up to. You called, you called the other one. You want the other one. Tuck's still under it. Uh, Ving, this fight has been some might say embarrassing, but now's your opportunity to kind of end the current threat.

Uh, this half split in half centipede monster made of metal is trying to attack Billy. What do you do? I just walk up and tear it in half. Whoa. Cool. Cool. The rest of the way. Yep. I didn't know that. That was an option. That's so cool. It's awesome. Hack and slash. 2d6 plus strength. I got nine. Nine. Could Tuck aid me? It would be funny if Tuck was just like kicking at it from the ground. Yeah. Ving's like pulling it apart.

And Tuck's underneath it, so as Ving's trying to rip it apart, Tuck comes in from the other side and touches his hands. Great. That's, yeah, ten. Ten, there you go. So strong. Yeah, roll your damage. Careless Whisper plays while we do it. Yeah. Your eyes meet. Um, which is a d6. Three. And enough's not quite. Fuck. Are you kidding me? It's still alive? Not quite. Not quite. But your eyes meet. You're like pulling it apart. It's, it's, it's armor has been like rent apart basically.

You're now just the juicy Tuck. Organic iron parts. Come on. Uh, yeah, Tuck uses um, he uses his scrap of ass to disengage and go right after the big one. Oh my god. You don't have to disengage from this thing. It is attacking Billy. I'm fine. I have 17 hit points. I'm here. We're here. Tuck. Tuck now. You guys got this, right? Yeah, Tuck does that. He's like, good teamwork, Ving. As he's like pulling it apart, he sees the big rusty thing through the bug. He's like, oh yeah.

And Tuck goes running down there all set. Oh, oh, what are you doing? What are you doing? Thanks for your help, Ving. Make sure Billy's okay. I got that. Great. Yeah, you run down the hill. M4 is down there. He had a full ego death during the last 30 seconds. Tuck, you run down to the yard. You see M4 is dealing with like a group, was dealing with a group of other rust monsters that were harassing people.

Like he just, you come down and you see him stomp on one, just crush it into pieces, pick another one up, hurl it into a building. It crashes through the brick wall. And Tuck goes, teamwork makes the dream work. And he turns around and he gives you a thumbs up. Oh, his new thumb. Yeah. And you see the rust covered Mac stomping out of the cave. I'm running right for it. Great. And Tuck, it all goes slow motion. Okay. And Tuck closes his eyes. Okay.

And he tries to connect with the box fire one more time. You can do it birdies. He's sprinting. Yeah, he's going slow motion while he's running full tilt. Full tilt. Has this ever happened? A thing that might not be possible. There's no way to know. I don't think we've done this. He's gotta believe. And Tuck's like, this is the only way to make everyone think I'm cool again. I bet you all the Harriers saw that embarrassing fucking thing. They totally did. Yeah. So he's gonna try to do it again.

Okay. I love your face right now. 2d6 plus wisdom I guess. He's gonna try to do it again. Alright, roll it. 2d6 plus wisdom. You know what? What? I think we're gonna bring your new move into play. I think your abject failure the first time around tells Tuck that this might not be possible. Oh, breaking the law. So maybe you need to spend to take a debility to make this possible. Yes.

So, kind of based on his kind of ability to sort of just muscle through the rules of the world, we created this move called breaking the law where I can force an impossible thing to happen like when I force the little magic crystal battery out of the fanny pack, but I have to take a debility to even attempt it. Yes. To be clear, it's not to make an impossible thing happen, it's to make it possible. Momentarily while I make a roll. Yes.

So I will take an ability to consti- I have so many constitution moves. Charisma. I'll take a debility to charisma. Oh, interesting. Because if I fail at this, I'll look like such an absolute like, cuck. You're just gonna cuck yourself in front of all these people. Coma-dome. Fuck. Fuck. In my mind- Oh no. Coma-dome. In my mind when I said cuck, I was like I'm gonna cut that out, I don't like that word. And then you said that and I was like, well that's too funny. Gotta keep that in.

You have to leave it in now. Okay, so I have a- now I have a minus one. To charisma, and I will roll. You're basically like really focusing on bending the possible laws of reality. Yeah. Yeah. The camera turns to a shot where like as soon as he closes his eyes, you see like the fabric of reality start to like twist. As he like reaches out to like Black Spire to like kind of make a connection between the two of them. Cool. In this like very inideal circumstance. He wants your lucky dice.

Give me your dice. Give me. Achoo! Achoo! As the reality is twisting, I like that we see that crystal battery like boom. Oh! Pop into your void. Oh cool! That's where it went? It went into like the void in my head. I don't know, yeah. That's cool. That's interesting. Yeah, that's so cool. Or maybe it's just- Like it's just drifting around? Yeah. Yeah. And there's like- there's also like a little fragmentary like floating dust mote of ward stone.

Oh, from when he cracked the- From when he cracked the box. Yeah. Cause that's the other kind of impossible thing that he's done in the past. Yeah. Okay. Tuck. 2d6 plus wisdom. 2d6 plus wisdom. Please, please, please. He's sprinting full tilt. It's so slow, Mo. He's- He's giving it- He's sprinting full tilt. It's so slow. Where are you going? Why do you look like that? What are you doing? He's like, please. Please. Let this work. Please. You'll be intolerable if this doesn't work.

And M4's like, metal as fuck. And then yeah, Tuck's running full tilt, closing his eyes, reaching out to his best friend, Black Spire. Wow. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm telling you, you're overrolling the die. Oh, man. Tell my guys. I need this to work. No, it's slightly better than last time. It is. It's slightly better than last time. I got a 4. You got a 4. I rolled 3 on the die. It's plus 1. Okay. Is it salvageable? I don't know.

Wait, do you roll with anything? Do I take a plus 1 for anything? No. Do we use our discerned realities from before? We would have had to use them. From a thousand years ago? We would have had to use them a long time ago. Tuck's slow-mo suddenly comes back to regular speed as you just get backhanded across the yard by the rust mac. So sad. But you do see Heartbreaking. Anybody watching for just a moment would see a gentle flash of light from Tuck's chest. Whoa! As you slam into the ground.

Tuck skids for like 40 yards. Just on gravel. There's like chunks of stone coming out of the But your legs are up behind you like that. I'm full scorpion. I forgot I gotta look at the damage How much damage do you take? Oh no. Oh no. It's so many. What is this? It's a roll of d8. That's one of the bad ones. And then you roll another. No. 6. Plus 5. No! Okay so 11 damage. Minus your armor. Minus 3 so that's 8 damage so I have 11 hit points left. Oh no.

I literally have in the last few minutes lost 15 hit points. Oh my god. That's a lot of hit points. Okie dokie. Billy and Ving. We're stunned. What is he doing? This is hard to watch. You guys are still fighting that other one. Oh yeah Billy this stand up heat thing is still trying to bite you. Oh fuck. So annoying. I'm trying to rip it open. Yeah and I just shove the sword deeper into it like trying to carve down it. I'm like limboing with almost stabbing Ving.

Great yeah this is hack and slash 2d6 plus strength. Yeah. What is going on? These are cursed dice. Wow. Holy shit. Two. I failed. It's another snake guys. Fuck. Yeah fuck. It bites you. You're getting stabbed and like raked by this thing's legs. Oh my gosh. So roll a d8. 4. 4 damage. It's just leaving like trails of like blood and rust down the front of your body. Oh Billy. And you were also already pretty fucked. Up I believe. Yeah I reopened all my stitches. Oh no.

And Steven Doctor is not good at giving stitches so they were already falling out. Yeah. Ving. Yeah. You're like holding onto this thing but it's like parts of it are moving towards Billy that are like independent of what you're holding onto. That's so gross. But you've got it held. What do you do? When Billy reefs a knife up through is it still a hot knife? I think it's pretty hot. Yeah. So it's maybe melting the metal a little bit still. Yeah a little bit yeah.

Okay one of you use that liquid metal to use nature's fury. I'm gonna utilize the element of iron to spread weakness back onto him. Yeah use the molten metal against it. And making it gummy so I can rip it in half. Sweet. Hack and slash 2d6 plus strength. Okay I got 9. 9 yep. That is enough. So go ahead and roll your d10 damage. But you will be taking damage from this. Great. 10. 10. Roll a d8. 7. Oh! Whoa! I have one hit point. No! What? Yeah. What? I have one hit point now. Holy fuck.

Okay so you uh you basically like grip this the top half of this thing and like in you realize that you gotta get a good hold on it. But in holding it you're like digging the metal into your own hands. And it's because it's as it's like the it's feeling the heat. Yeah. It turns from Billy and just like launches its legs backwards. Oh! Yeah it just completely flips around. Yeah.

Yeah like you know when you're like holding the worm and the worm is like it feels like facing a different way all of a sudden. Yeah. Like it just flexes towards you. And digs into your body. Do the legs like go through? Yeah I think they're like. That's a lot of damage. 7 damage. Yeah like your legs or something. And the rust like it goes through like your feet like into the earth.

But you do like get this thing right where it feels like the the like leverage point on it is and you just rend it in two. And the clunk clunk clunk clunk clunk. Oh shit. It falls apart as you rip it in two. Jesus Christ. Ahhh! Oh my gosh. Yeah. And you are fucked up. Can I help? Can I help? Have a poultice. You guys would have to basically run away. Like to apply a poultice in the way that would help you would have to get out of here. Can I use escape route? Yeah. Yeah you can use escape route.

Am I able to bring Ving with me? I think no in the past escape route has just been for Billy yeah. Can I make a fairy circle? Yeah. But you would be taking yourself out of the fight. If Ving takes one more hit he's fucked. He's dead. Yeah. I'll make a fairy ring. I like that he's like off the ground by like four inches with all this metal throwing his body into all different spots. It's just like What is happening to me? 2d6 plus dexterity. Fuck! Ahhh! Four. Okay. Okay. So fairy ring.

What is a failure with fairy ring? I mean this ground is like alive with spirit right now. Oh and with like demonic influence. It's just it's poor poison. Yeah. And like the fairies don't want to take root here at all. Yeah and Billy can't he can't like summon it I guess. Mm-hmm. Fuck. So you just yeah you can't so what is the six what is the failure? What's the hard move here? Oh I think it's you feel the earth beneath you after being carved out. Oh shit.

By the lava spirit like you feel like fuck and then oh maybe the there's a rock slide. Oh from the cliff above? Yeah. Oh yeah. Maybe like we feel the ground shift but nothing moves but then we still hear it like it rolls. And there's like a small rock like it rolls down the hill past our heads. Like in Jurassic Park with the cup going boom.

Yeah totally it's like it feels like nothing's happening for a second but you see the rock tumble down from the top and you look up and you see just a wall of stone rolling towards you. How do you protect yourselves from the rock slide? Wait do you still have that thing where you can shift into the fairy world? Yeah. Shadow shadow wait no cause I Do you still have the one where you can take people with you? I would have to use a fairy child and I don't have any left.

Oh you don't have any fairy child anyways. Cause Shadow Dance I think you needed fairy child as well. How long have we been fighting? We could no. It's night. It's night. I can try elemental mastering from this as like a last ditch effort. Oh like cover yourself in like a dome or something? I let me think of something sorry. Yeah no this is a tough situation. So there's M4s in play but he can't get there in time?

Yeah cause you guys are basically like still up near the mine mouth and M4s down in the yard. And you're down there closer to him. Yeah and I'm maybe fuck passed out I don't know. No you're not passed out but you're basically doing the like Okay. I think trying like to just try to elemental master. A bloodied hand and stop and create a wall of a protective dome. A dome of the stones that are all around. They might just I think that might be the only thing you could do. Yeah. It is risky.

Very risky. I mean the elements are already kind of out of control. Yeah. Ving reaches out with a bloodied destroyed hand and I'm gonna try an elemental mastery from this pierced ground and stop these rocks. Gather some rocks around me. And Billy is here with me. Okay 2d6 plus constitution. 7 plus 3 is 10. Holy shit. Okay. Two of these. Yeah. The effect I desire comes to pass and I avoid paying nature's price. Yes. So you do not retain control. Of the avalanche.

Which I guess you don't really want to. No. You're just trying to get it past you. So you reach your hand out as this wall of stone is coursing towards you. Threatening to crush you, Billy, Tuck, everyone. And like a hand, a boulder out of the boulders like a boulder hand. Yeah. In front of my hand. Yeah. Stopping when things are bouncing off. Yeah. Flying over top. Oh like a hand forms in front of you? A hand. Oh cool yeah. Like it comes out of Out of the boulders. Sick.

It comes out of the mirror of my hand. And you're shielded by this yeah this wall this torrenting wave of stone. It does launch down into the yard. I think M4 takes a good smash from it cause he's trying to come up the hill to help you. Right. Oh are we in like an iron giant scenario where M4 sees the rocks coming and sees Tuck like getting up? Oh yeah. And then just steps in front of Tuck and takes the hit? Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Yeah that's totally what would happen. Yep. So there is Okay.

He goes I'm metal as fuck. Oh yeah. You soft as mad. Me metal as fuck. And so I think what we see is the rocks coming down. Ving holds up the hand of stone and grabs Billy and pulls him in. And like the stones flow around you. Shoot around you off down into the yard. And this wave of stone destroys buildings like it's just crushing the refinery. Like a smoke stack. Boom into the yard. Buried under the stone. You hear Master Lee in the distance go My investment!

And uh just before the wave hits where Tuck would be M4 like spins his head around like his head is spinning back and forth. It looks like he's doing calculations. Yeah. Whoa. It focuses. One of the lenses focuses. Yeah. And M4 having made some calculation turns to the side and steps in front of Tuck and disappears under the wall. Of stone. And that's where we're gonna end it for this week. I'm your Game Master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz.

So are. Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers. Take care. Playing Fappily the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai. Bye everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music. You can check out Aaron's original music at aaronreid.bandcamp.com where you can also find his special Soft Bug Ego Jazz. Yeah. Yeah. So good. We'll include a link to it in the description. Yeah. Link in the description. Check it out. Great. Aaron's probably one of the funniest people alive.

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And also most recently video episodes of Spout Lore full video recordings. Check them out. You've been asking for them. You're gonna love them. You can see me doing this. If you're on Patreon you know what he's doing right now. If you're not you're missing out. Paul put it away. Paul Jesus Christ. Oh my God. Put it away man. I think we're gonna have to blur you out for that. And thank you finally and most of all to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time.

And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your host, Spout, and I'm your host, Spout. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdulaziz. He's putting on his, oh he knows that we're doing video episodes now. So he's gonna be doing visual gags. I wanna wear my sunglasses. What's up? You look so cool! Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Hoppers. No, you fucked. I'll fucking kill you, Paul. What's up, you broccoli fuck? And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief. Jessica Tai. No!

What's going on, you chins? Grab the knife. Don't you ever touch your sunglasses again, I'll fucking kill you. He's there. I like the old Abdul. Yeah, me too, before he realized he could do visual gags for the show. Alright, when last we left our heroes, they were under ambush by mysterious archers from the marshlands and the woods surrounding their convoy. The party leapt into action. Aiding the convoy in their own special ways.

The first thing Tuck did was flip a cart that was in motion and actually made it less effective cover. Billy dashing into the undergrowth and discovered therein a man named Pan, who wears a pan flute around his neck. Leader of what we would later find to be called the Riverway Harriers. Sort of behind enemy lines, scouting and ambush group of archers. Tuck. Tuck kept trying to talk to them and just kept taking arrows in the chest over and over again.

Ving was able to dislodge some of the mechanics from the back of M4 before causing the Wormack to go on a bit of a escape rampage where it just ran off into the trees. And the fuel, which the Harriers were attempting to capture for some reason, was destroyed, dragged away by M4. But Billy was able to make contact with the Harriers. Telling them that they are- that you are the Harriers. Telling them that they are- that you are friends and allies of the Riverways and the Highspear.

Recognizing you from reports of your combat days before, they disappeared with you into the trees and escaped from the Firefield's forces. You were then taken to their camp in the woods and were offered the opportunity to help the effort by destroying a fuel refinery in the Firefields used to alchemically process coal.

And in return, I think we just asked that they- And in return, I think we just asked that they- And in return, I think we just asked that they- Spread- spread around how cool we looked while we were doing- Spread- spread around how cool we looked while we were doing- Yeah. Spread- spread around how cool we looked while we were doing- Was that what you- Yeah. I love that most of the ways that Tuck operates with people is like, just spread around something I did or said.

Spread around- Spread around- Yeah, just admit- Good stuff though this time. Just the good stuff please. You agreed? Mm-hmm. Tuck had a waking interaction with the Demon of Servitude- Mm-hmm. Inhabiting the coin in his chest before pushing that out of his mind. Traveling to the fuel refinery, the party was- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The party was accosted by a harp snake that emerged from its invisible state. Mm-hmm. Killed it and then absolutely stripped it like an old car. Mm-hmm.

Pulled the skin off, got the vocal cords, got some scales, took some meat. This thing was just dust by the time you were done with it. Yeah. Out of respect. Out of respect. And then the party found a trail of dislodged trees and smushed underbrush finding M4, the Wormack, in the- Yeah. In a low fuel state attempting to make its way to the coal refinery and refuel. Ving spoke to M4 and offered help in the form of Hibernian water in its boiler tank.

The tank was filled with this water and seemed to give M4 a semblance of sentience for which it thanked Ving. And that is where we find our heroes now, a looming Wormack shifting foot to foot in a very human-like way looking down at all of you. What do you do? Whoa. Yes. Whoa. I'm Ving. I am M4. Can we hear it talk? Everyone in the vicinity can hear this thing talking. How is it talking? It is communicating through Ving for everyone, yeah. Okay. So it's not using the pipes or anything?

Ooh, that'd be cool. Oh, that is cooler actually. I like it. Maybe it's like, yeah, so it's kind of got like a kind of voice. Right. But that I cannot replicate. Yeah, yeah. So I will be speaking to it. Oh, that's cool. I'm Ving. I'm M4. I'm M4. I'm M4. I'm M4. I'm M4. I'm M4. I'm M4. But that I cannot replicate. Yeah, yeah. So I will be speaking like a human being. Mm. But so everyone is like backing up. The Harriers are backing up. They're knocking arrows. Stand down friends. This is not.

What do you think? What do you appears to be? Can we find out stuff from M4? Oh. Like where it's bases? I mean, yeah, you can definitely talk to it if you want. And he's just been born basically. Kind of, yeah. He's like a little baby. Yeah, he might not actually have much information. But you said before they had a… Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like if a calculator became sentient, would it remember all the numbers it's processed? I think it would. It has like a…

It has a memory function. Probably has a limited… Whoa. Yeah. That's actually, no, that's exactly what I was thinking. Holy shit, Jessica. Shit. No, you're… Calculator expert. Calculator expert. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You're totally right though I think that it does have like I bet inside there's like a weird little kind of abacus thing not abacus but you know like a little switchboard that like does keep track of information card yeah like a card oh yeah yeah because it's kind of card punch and like steam technology kind of existed sort of at the same time yeah maybe it's got like little it's got like a when you load one of these things up you like load a stack of like punch cards and then it is like tracking stuff inside but they are not paper they're like solid like ceramic discs because it's meant to route steam in different ways so it can't be like a thing that would break down yeah that's cool that's really cool and it's ceramic so it can like withstand like the high pressure and heat that exists inside of its like mechanical brain that's sick yeah very cool how are you feeling um and I think I think he does say um there's like a hoot as he goes um I feel a where and it's like spinning its head around like looking into the trees bending down looking at you looking at like the big hammer on one of its hands where am I where are we and tuck moves forward and he's taking off his backpack and he's he has a music bottle in his hand that he was about to and he's like we're in the firefields principalities he reaches down after tuck responds to him and grabs tuck around the torso and lifts him lifts you up to the fire to his face and hoots what am I and then tuck uh fuck what do I what's the answer here you play the you play the music and go your metal is fucked oh yeah that's what tuck does yeah tuck takes the the bottle that's in his hand and he says that he goes your fucking metal is fuck and then he plays a licensed song yeah he plays iron man by black sabbath yeah right but the fantasy version yeah which is iron man by african-american sabbath great great we're really pushing ourselves with the world building today an african our world yeah go ahead and roll 2d6 plus charisma yeah stop that this is what we get for stalling we allowed sean to make eye contact with a duel while we did that I didn't have ideas I know and look at where we are here we go not that I'm not into it I'm trying I think what I'm trying to do is like based on like what we learned about them last time they like sing as they walk and then they communicated their emotions through songs so like there was like a song of sadness and then like there was like they could communicate with each other over long distances through songs so I I think tuck intrinsically not intellectually in any way he's like they like music yeah totally that doesn't make sense so he yeah he rummaged around and then he's like I don't know what to do I don't know what to do I don't know what to do I don't know what to do I don't know what to do I don't know what to do I don't know what to do I don't know what to do music bottles he stole and like pulled the most metal ones that's a four uh and that's a two plus charisma is nine how are you waiting uh ving you know like when a parent has a song with the kids like you are iron man I got 11 holy shit you can say whatever you want with those dice yeah nobody can see them oh yeah we all have glasses great so with a tent you know the music is playing and uh m4 is staring at you and listening to the music and then you can hear like as like his burner starts going and he starts like like he's playing the song back to you and then puts you down and then tuck goes this song's about knowing what you are I am metal as fuck he kind of like boom like claps the the hammer hand in his open hand you are whatever you want to be what does it mean to be metal as fuck it means you don't let anyone fucking tell you what to do then I'm not metal as fuck fuck you that's metal as fuck yeah metal as fuck what what are you I'm not metal as fuck I'm not metal as fuck I'm not metal as fuck I'm like focus fuck uh pan steps forward and yeah I think he does like a little like uh fucking willy wonka when he's uh summoning the the and m4 kind of plays the song back to pan as well I like that he mimics I like yeah and he's in learning mode yeah he's trying to figure out what's going on yeah and pan says to m4 we are warriors and we have a mission will you join us on this mission please please please please please please please please join us is billy begging yeah he's he's kind of like sidled up next to pan he's like please m4 please please join us for this fun journey yeah you can go ahead and roll charisma yes pan obviously can't roll charisma so he's a white guy with droids eight yes that's a that's a partial success yeah you oh you could offer you could offer him the coal that's at the refinery I mean if you're hungry we're heading to to the refinery right now I do require fuel I will come for the fuel your mission means nothing to me that's metal as fuck it's metal as fuck dude I will lead the way holy shit do we have another victor and it took us hey crazy question but how would you feel about being renamed like black spire too crazy but blue sky what do you think of that kind of thing from your perspective this is getting me out of nowhere what you say like oh how would you think just thinking of a name off the top of my head not related to anything else black spire too maybe uh and m4's head spins around as he's starting to walk away and he goes no one tells me what to do oh shit we're not no oh why go ahead go ahead and roll to what to name him black spire too I guess I failed did you fail I got four what was I rolling plus I guess it would be plus charisma seven yeah god damn it I wanted that point I will consider this name a good name pretty cool it seems contextless to me two suggests an iteration upon what it iterates I'm not sure a woman a woman So I'm better than Black Spire 1.

Black Spire 1 is inferior to me. Are you going to let him talk about Black Spire like that? I don't know. No, no, no. You're just different. I can choose my own name. M4 is not predetermined. That was your name given to you by another. Do you have a name that sings inside of you? A name that sings within me are many songs. A chorus inside. Oh, cool. I will sing my song of vengeance upon the people that wronged me. Whoa. But first, I'm hungry. Okay. I will lead the way.

Can I ride on your shoulder? I suppose. To climb up. I'll roll for that. You do not have to roll. No, absolutely not. I succeed. It doesn't matter. You can roll. I genuinely sighed. I don't know. I'll check the tape, but I don't know if I… The last time I went… I jump on a hammock on his back. Yeah, I climb up the little ladder up his leg. And some of the Harriers climb up, like Pan climbs up there with you to survey things, and the other Harriers spread out in the trees.

So I think with his long strides, around an hour, maybe less, of travel, the sun is starting to filter through the dense trees. Blades of sunlight sort of casting through the trees and on the grasses. The songbirds of the evening. Oh, yes. In the trees as we walk by, and then he's mimicking in his… Yeah. Do-do-do-de-de-de-do-do-do-do. And you come to the edge of the trees, and M4 is just stomping along. So if nobody stops him, he's just going to walk right out of the trees.

Do we lose cover outside of the trees? You would have less cover outside the trees for sure. You don't know what's on the other side. Okay. Hold. Boom. Stops. I think we need to see what's on the other side. Very well. He says pretty loud. Quiet, quiet, quiet. Speak softer. Use less steam. Very well. Go. I'm having trouble modulating my voice with my steam. Go and look outside. I will remain here. Okay. Okay. Should we discern realities? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You get it. Okay. Okay.

2d6 plus wisdom. Holy shit. Okay. Wow. So that's three questions off the discern realities list. I see everything. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What here is useful or valuable to us? Great. So you get to the edge of the trees, and it's a pretty sharp delineation. Like the forest ends when you get to this point, at least this part of the forest. And I think before you is like a wide distance of rolling bog and greenery, like not a lot of plants on this sort of area.

There's a road that travels right to left and past that road, you can see buildings and smokestacks and a rocky hillside that looks like it's been dug into. This is very likely the refinery. There's a wall that surrounds the part of the refinery that isn't mountain. And then there's a big gate that looks like it has guards on posts on either side. Okay. What should I be on the lookout for? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh.

You're like oh yeah if we went around like if we went further south in the trees and then like went around the hillside we could potentially get up and over it would be a little risky to get that far but then you wouldn't have to deal with like the gate and the guards so if we went around we could like scale down from the cliff that's behind it exactly yeah but it would be a bit more of a process because you would be like climbing a rocky hillside and then trying to climb back down what's about to happen uh it looks like you are watching and there's like a bunch of shouting and there's like a clink clink clink clink clink as like the gate starts to swing aside and it looks like they're preparing a convoy like a shipment of coal is about to leave oh so maybe we could hit the shipment instead of the factory I think we don't we want to destroy the factory but we need the shipment before we can to power up oh right yeah okay that's a good idea yeah we'll let them come to us that's smart we'll intercept them on the road eat up all those coal nugs yeah charge the gate yeah let's not do the thing where we climb up and then scale down yeah I think so it doesn't seem like your style but I thought you'd like to know yeah yeah yeah we have a buick now oh yeah see and you share this information with pan who's watching yeah yeah and pan's like what we ambush the cart here or further down the road let's go further down the road I actually think I can distract them because I'm still dressed in this gimp outfit perfect yeah perfect yeah you guys just have to rough it up I got up oh ving's still dressed like a mechanic and we have the mech yeah yeah oh yeah I think it's worth trying we'll pretend we'll use our because you're still dressed in that white tunic yeah yeah we actually might not need to charge the gate then we could just pretend that oh yeah you're all in disguise yeah and you have a mac yeah yeah we almost that up so hard I guess you could just try to sneak in and you basically say this as pan is about to leave like wait wait wait wait wait why don't we just sneak in he's like oh I mean yeah I guess we could oh I know the harriers and I will go up and around the cliff smart oh sneaking from the back from two sides yeah so they're gonna try and they'll wait basically until you get a signal or they get a signal and then they'll attack and we'll we'll sneak in and see if we can collect any information because ultimately we still want to like kill cole and black hammer right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah if there's any info we can gather about him or callum or what the the gibbous man is doing here we'll do that and then we'll blow the whole thing up cool and then pans disappears into the trees yeah we're telling us to m4 too oh yeah sounds good m4 is like wait you're going to destroy my food factory I want to eat all that stuff you can eat it first and then we'll it up you know what I've been thinking about how I get to choose my own name I think I like m4 more actually yeah yeah are you okay buddy I'm just trying to be quiet it's hard when all your vocal cords are pipes okay so you three are gonna sneak in that's the plan yes or like hey we're here for maintenance or whatever yeah great tuck wants to make himself look up like he got beaten up are you whoa wait why He's got one in the chamber with the cracking.

That's impressive. It's so tense. Wait, so your plan is you're going to be beat up. Yeah. Why? Oh, to say you need a medic at the base. Yeah. Pretend we got attacked and we're the only ones that are left. Yeah, pretend I'm dead. And then Doug picks up a knife. No, no, no. This side. He's like, there. It looks really bad. It hurts a lot, too. Oh, God, your pancreas is right there. You could have hit it. And Billy is a little boy that came along that was rescued, I guess. Yeah.

He's still covered in blood, actually, from the snake. So he's like. Your arms all ripped up. Yeah, my arms ripped up. And I say, my costume's done. He's kind of wobbling back and forth from blood loss. Yeah, kind of gray. Do I need to look fucked up? What more should I do to my costume? He looks at Tegas. Slap me. Slap me. Slap me. Slap me. Teg winds up and tries to hit Tegas hard. Then you're going to roll damage. You're not rolling. I'm so scared. He's not trying to stop you from hitting him.

You don't have to roll. Okay. You're just going to roll damage. Okay. You're deciding to roll damage right now. I think that Bing and Tegas have been fighting. Some stuff coming. All right, roll it. Maybe the leather suits are making us grumpy. Yeah. Yeah, you're really uncomfortable. It's not breathable at all. Some, like, domestics brewing. I've been listening to a lot of episodes, and it's bubbling. Yeah. Six. So, yeah, six damage. Shit. Crack. Damn. Black eye, bloody lip. Yeah, perfect.

Sick. There you go. Great. I put some coal on my face. It's coal dust. You also can't wear masks. I don't know why. I put the mask on. Perfect. Now it's believable. No one would have believed that. It's taped with nothing. So, I think from here, you're able to… Load up and just walk M4 out of the trees. Yeah, and we talk to M4, we tell him it's a subterfuge plan now. Very well. Can you carry me like I'm, like, dead? Sure. Or, like, dying?

And he just grabs you around the chest and kind of carries you like a limp doll. And I go limp. Do you remember how it felt before you remember what it felt like? There's like a… Of course. We need you to act like that now. To get inside. To bring it down. To get enough food. You get it, RollerCrisp. Remember for this. Can you act like other people are in charge of you for a little bit longer? Eight. I will do this until I have reason not to. Fair enough.

And he kind of, like, shifts and becomes very rigid in his movements. Thank you. And you can walk him out of the trees. Yeah. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. And you hear, like, shouting and you see the guards, like, pointing as you stomp towards the… Help us! I'm dying! I need medical help! And Tech goes, Knife. Some dildo slapped me! And as you stomp across the grasslands towards the refinery, you see the scale of this place.

There are several larger buildings that you can see over the walls with smokestacks chugging along and you can see, like, winding a little bit up the hill. There's a variety of trails that have, like, different mouths to different entrances into the hillside. Mm-hmm. Cart tracks and carts winding everywhere. Exactly. There's lots of, like, chug-chug-chug-chug-chug, like, things moving down tracks.

They've got those, like, mechanized conveyor belts that, like, carry coal up and, like, pour it into a giant pile. Totally, yeah. And as you approach, a few people run out of the gates to come and get you. Someone runs up and is like, What happened? What happened to you? Yeah. Yeah. Trying to get into their voice. What happened to all of you? Just let us know when you're there. Donkey. Well, this guy has layers. What happened to… Wow. What happened? This is close enough. This guy's so drunk.

What happened to all of you? He's, like, pushing a wineskin, like, under his coat. Are you guys all drunk? Yeah. What's happening? No. None of us are drunk. I want to discern realities if they're all drunk or not. You can roll discern realities if you decide to. Two to six plus wisdom. Eight. You get one question. Are you drunk? This guy's drunk. What is it? What here is not what it appears to be. What here is not what it appears to be. Because he appears to be drunk. And he is.

But the others, there's three others, are not, and they're mad about it. They're angry at this guy. They're like, they want to be drunk. They want to be drunk. They want to be drunk. They're drunk too. No, they're like, we're on the job, Gregor. This is the conversation we interrupted as we came up, where his co-workers were like, man, you're really risking everything right now. I know, like, Cassandra left you a few months ago and now you've been taking it. Don't even say her name.

I vouched for you for this job. My ass is on the line too. And you know what? I loved that you did that for me. You're a good friend. Not like Sandra. Not like Sandra. Not like Sandra and that bastard Tristan. Oh, come by. I'll replace all your windows for free so you can fuck my wife. And then the guy who was talking to her before comes in, he grabs him. He's like, look, man, this is the nature of the job. We get sent away. These are some of the things that we lose.

You're not going to find her at the bottom of a bottle, okay? I just miss her so much. And I miss Tristan. He was a good friend. And you know what? Actually, now that I'm significantly more drunk than I was before, I think they're really good together. Boom, boom, boom. Oh, what the fuck's over there? Oh my God, what happened to you? We found him. We did it, we did it. So, what's going on? Where's your convoy? What's going on with you? You look like… Oh, don't worry about me.

You look like you've been crying. He starts pointing away in tears. Who hurt you? You know what? I think I hurt me. But a little bit of woman named Sandra and a glazer named Tristan. A window glazer. A window glazer named Tristan. And my wife. And really, when I think about it, my parents. But anyway, what happened to you? Hey, where's your convoy? Those Riverland bastards ambushed us on the convoy. Oh. We got separated in the quarrel. Bunch of hicks. Yeah, they stabbed me. Look.

And then Tuck turns the side of himself that he… Oh, that looks bad. I know, it's really deep. And then he… It's Billy's jelly knife. No, no, no, no, no. Stop. He fingers it. It's got seahorses on it. Stop touching it. Stop touching it. And he turns behind him and he goes, Medic. And a couple of people in like white aprons come out and start… Like M4 lowers you to the ground and they… Tuck very performatively falls to the ground. Yeah, totally. Yeah. And you don't have to roll for that.

I want to convince them that I fainted. You did. All right. Yeah. 2d6 plus charisma. 12. Yeah. Wow. You did the thing that you said you wanted to do. It's almost like you actually fainted, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, touch that. Yeah, you faint. You do it so well that you're unconscious. Tuck fast. Tuck fast. You fainted his head. You do it so well. Tuck fast. Because he's like, he's losing blood. And then he hit his head with himself. When he fake fainted. Yeah. And they take you away.

Well, they try to take you away and they realize you're like 700 pounds. So then they call a couple of people out and the remaining guards with Gregor start… Everybody's dragging Tuck away. Yeah. They lash. They lash a bunch of ropes to my legs and start dragging me away. And the floor here is like that quarry rock that's really sharp. His back's getting… You're wearing that GIMP outfit though, so you're fine. But you can just feel the sharp points, but no cutting.

It's just poking you a lot. Thank God I'm gimped up. Now I know why they wear these. One of Tuck's classic catchphrases. Thank God I'm gimped up. That'll be a t-shirt come in Q2 2025. Jessica, get on that. All right. Then make it erotic. Erotic. Of course. If I didn't get gimped up, I would have broke back. Mountain is what I'm gimping up. I'm going to ask one of these guys if I can have some coal. Hey, do you think I can have a bit of coal just to tide us over for our mech here?

Oh, looks like you need a bit of maintenance. Anyway, come on in. Yeah. Come on. And he starts like, he's like kind of shouldering M4 in the legs. He's like, get in there, you bucket of bolts. Hey, this thing had saved a lot of lives. Sorry, I've become attached to him. You mechanics so attached to your machines. Yeah. It's a tool, a weapon. Nothing more. Nothing more. You hear like the steam pistons within M4 like rev up.

And M4 stomps through the gate, ducks down under like the, you know, the lintel of it. And you are in the refinery complex. Tuck is being dragged away to like a sort of side building like clapboard and tin roof. Slamming into a bunch of doors every time. Can I follow Tuck? Yeah, totally. I also need medical attention. I'll say you're bleeding a lot, little guy. Yeah, I've been losing a lot of blood lately. I don't know, I'm feeling so good.

Looks like I can kind of see through the meat of your arm. Really? As if you were sliced by some large blade or fang of some kind. Yeah, that knife that's in him, they cut me with it first. Those bastards. I know. Those riverways bastards. And their chilly knives. Y'all start speaking a bad Scottish accent. They really started carving us up out there. Oh, disgusting. But I got my revenge on a couple of them. Aye. Aye. Who's talking, right? We're all talking.

This is kind of from Gregor's mind, I guess, like his perspective. And he's so drunk. He's not sure. All of you look like Tristan. All of you look like Tristan, that bastard window glazer. I could learn a thing or two from him, probably. No, Gregor, don't think like that. Revenge. Yeah, think like that. Yeah. Isn't it fucked up that I'm just dying to be him? And he sits on a stool near the gate and he waves you away. And he pulls the wine skin out from his jacket, pops the cork. It's empty.

And he, you know, tips it over on the gravel. Sandra! And you are kind of, you know, as far as they know, you're members of this military. So you're kind of let to go do your thing. Sick. Tuck and Billy. Tuck is completely unconscious. And he's getting like hauled onto a bed in a makeshift. Yeah, I crawl up on that bed too. What's going on, little guy? I just got a big cut. Oh, let me take a look at that for you. I don't want to look at it. Just look away. Look away. Look.

And the guy reaches into his apron. He's got a little sucker. Little lollipop. Oh, what's this? Oh, whoa. You wouldn't happen to know a little guy. It's like a little sweet treat. I do. I do. It would be me. Oh, here you go. And he gives you one and he's looking at the wound on your arm. What flavor is it? Grape. The best. Grape. Grape. Not fantasy in any way. No. Just what I want. Grape. Grape. Purple. Purple flavor. And yeah, he starts.

He's unwrapping the bandages on your arm and starts taking a look like, whoa, that's quite an ouchie there you've got. Yeah, the Riverway guy really dug deep. Oh, horrible. I was fighting off 10, 12, 20 of them at one go. Wow. Aren't you brave? I was brave. But then they took my knife and they shoved in my friend here. Oh, horrible. Horrible. But don't worry. I got quite a few of them. They're all drifting away in the wind right now. Good. Soon enough. Pieces of them blown away in the wind. Wow.

Like so many leaves. You're so brave. Yeah, and I'm strong too. I can see that. And he like pinches your bicep. Your tiny little bicep. Ow. Soon enough, this war will be over. And the Riverways will never be. There will be no real peace. Yeah, I can't wait. What are you looking forward to the most when peace comes? Oh, I'm looking forward to the future that the Black Hammers have promised us. One of prosperity. Progress. Oh, what kind?

I mean, I only joined recently and me and my family, we live pretty far out. So I don't get much news. Can I like get info out of him? Yeah, sure. You can. What would this be? I guess to certain realities. Yeah. Yeah. Sick. Sick. I would like to use a fairy child. So you're spending a whole to make it seven to nine. Yeah. So you get a one question. Yeah, one question. What about like just what here is useful or valuable to me? Yeah, totally. Yeah.

Well, you know, black glass and the fire fields in general are a bastion of technological innovation of industry and the rest of the principalities are stuck in the old ways. The superstitions, the failing technology and magical, the! I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. There's a ton of magical wonders and dangers of the golden age.

And if the black haman twins were able to rule as Kinos was by a sovereign or by two sovereigns, then we can enter a new golden age, not of magic and superstition, but of technology and technological might. I see. They resist, but they don't know what they're resisting. Who's resisting. The rest of the principalities. Oh yeah. Sorry. It's just all the blood loss. It's hard for me to follow stuff. I understand. Can I have another sucker? He gives you another sucker. What flavor is this one?

Purple. This one's not even grape. It's just purple. Perfect. Tuck's bed breaks and he smashes it into the ground. He's unconscious, but he needs people to know he's a part of the situation. Can I try and wake Tuck up? If you want to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wake up. I slap you in the face. Once again, you rolled a 10+. You can become conscious when you choose. Stop rolling. Is there anything happening to Tuck's head right now? You did get a 10+, so technically you are in control of this situation.

Okay. We zoom in to Tuck's head. Not like this. No, you gave me control. No. You gave me control. I made a huge mistake here. As Billy is smacking on Tuck's cheeks going, wake up, wake up. The camera zooms in to Tuck's. His eyes are closed, so his nose. And then he goes up. His nose is jingling from the slapping. Going through the magic school bus. Yeah. Into Tuck's brain. With the frizz? No way. It goes up into his brain where he has his ideas. Okay.

All right, so we're focusing on an idea here. There's a sweeping shot of Tuck's gray matter. We can see parts of his brain lighting up and stuff. Certain parts not doing anything. Not at all. All the parts. All the parts of Sissy. R.I.P. R.I.P. R.I.P. So many parts are dormant. A graveyard. Shriveled dead. Undeveloped graveyard. Just a bunch of baby cells just waiting to be awoken one day. Oh my God. Completely never activated. We zoom in to the part of Tuck's brain. And we're dreaming.

He's like, I can't even think about what I'm dreaming used to be. And he's. So I've been thinking about this. And I think like the void that is where Tuck's dreaming mind used to be is like letting stuff in. And I think it also means he can kind of like look out from that void if he's stuck in it. Kind of like his sleep works now such that he closes his eyes and he opens his eyes again. And it's the next day. Yeah. And he feels rested.

But he's sort of like figuring out that like if he can catch up. If he can catch himself right before it opens, he can maybe stop himself in that void place. And then look outwards at like what's in the void. And he wants to use demon eyes in this state to like use his brain as a kind of antenna for like demonic whatever's and see if there's anything in this facility that is like associated with the iconic realm. Oh, anything in the refinery. Yeah. Oh, I see.

I'm thinking of his brain now is kind of an antenna. And this is something that he can do while he's unconscious. I think it exists in the unconscious medium. I see. He sort of like is trying to catch himself in the like one second between dreaming and waking. It's like a lucid dreaming, but he doesn't have a dream. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Interesting. Very interesting.

I think the fact that like the demon came to him during the day made him realize that whatever void space that is exists all the time. Yeah. So he's trying to catch himself in it. He doesn't know if he can. I think. Because you got the 10 plus you are in like, again, you're in full control of your unconscious state. So, yeah, you would be able to see out. And what does demonize do again? Can you remind me? I can roll 2d6 plus wisdom and then it gives me access to the trap expert questions. Yeah.

But for demon. But specifically for demonic influence. Yeah. That's pretty cool. 2d6 plus wisdom. Here we go. Nine. Nine. So it's one hold. It's one hold. Yeah. So you get one question. What else is hidden here? Hmm. Okay. So you feel from this void. You're like looking out inside. You're basically standing in the middle of like an endless plane of darkness. Hmm. Looking out, trying to get glimpses of the outside world. And you feel like behind the sort of locked door of your dissociative state.

You feel servitude rattling the handle. Yeah. And you're like, nope. I know what that like, you know, that feeling that demonic feeling. And you feel another demonic or iconic presence somewhat nearby. Hmm. But not with that sharp clarity. But with that sharp clarity of like the pinpoint existence, the anchoring of like a possessed individual, you just feel an influence. Can I tell what direction it is? The very feeling of this presence tells you that it's not like it's barely a direction.

It's like an area. Okay. It's a location. Okay. Like you feel it is a presence rather than a, an individual. Okay. Yeah. And then Chuck wakes up and he goes, Alison. And there she is at the end of the bed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is she? No. She disappears. As she always does upon waking. Yeah. You wake up and you see Alison. Actually, I like that a lot. You wake up and you see sitting at the end of the bed in a, in a red dress, long red hair flowing down her dark skin. Alison. That's pretty cool.

Nice. Half a second later, gone. I like that she like opens her mouth and like bees come out or something. Yeah. It's a horrible thing. Something scary. Yeah, totally. I was thinking like the spider's web like kind of envelops her and then like pulls her away. Fucking. Oh, what if. The spider legs come out of her mouth. Yeah. Like mother never was. Yeah. Crawls out of her mouth. Spider. Spider legs or hands or something. Yeah. Come out of her mouth. And then almost like. Yeah. Wrap around her.

And wrap around her. And gone. And she's gone. Consumer. Oh, great. Nightmares are back. Oh, but now. In real regular life now. Yeah. But now awake time. Oh, cool. And then Chuck realizes that he goes, fucking a neurophage lied to me. Piece of shit. The warranty. Stupid piece of shit. A neurophage. Great. And you're awake. Your bed is on the floor. Billy's being treated by a medic. Oh, Billy's smacking you in the face. Yeah. I got two suckers hanging out of my mouth. Billy. You're awake now.

Where'd you get those suckers? Don't worry about it. This nice doctor gave it to me. Okay. Oh, I'm not a doctor. Sorry. Oh, you can't call me a doctor, actually. Clearly. Clearly you're not allowed to call me a doctor. Okay. You can call me a doctor. You can call me a doctor. You can call me a doctor. You can call me a doctor. You can call me Mr. Doctor. My last name is Doctor. Mr. Stephen Doctor. So stupid. You will hear people call me doctor, but they're just calling me by my last name.

It's not against the law. So, how are you feeling? And he reaches in and he pulls a purple sucker out of his apron and gives it to you. Yeah. Tuck just opens his mouth and accepts it. He drops it in. How are you feeling? Tuck swallows it whole. Oh. Oh. Oh. He chokes it back. Sideways you see the stick. And then it disappears into his stomach and goes. Oh. Delicious. I'll have another. That thing happens for a second where you can see panic in his eyes. You know when you swallow. Yes.

You swallow a mouthful of. A sucker sideways. Or like huge pill or something. Yeah. Or grilled cheese. And you can feel like a long strand going down. And there's that panic feeling where you're like. I'm going to choke. I'm going to die. I'm going to suck in there. And then as soon as it's down, that moment is gone forever. Yeah. It's never happened. And you'll do it again. Yeah. He opens his mouth again. And then it doesn't come hither with his tongue for another second.

And he pulls the sucker out and he holds it back. He goes. How are you feeling? I feel great. And then he just rips the knife. Oh. Okay. Gloosh on the floor. And he throws a sucker in your mouth like a hippo being fed a pumpkin. I swallow it. And then runs and grabs some bandages and starts, you know, packing up your wound. Thanks. Thanks. I think both of you are being given basically like a poultice and herbs equivalent. Okay. So you'll heal seven hit points if you have hit points missing.

Yeah. Nice guys. Those are free. Those are free. We didn't have to crack into our vat of 50 poultice. I reserve. We're going to need those for the end of the podcast. He starts applying them and somewhere across the refinery, Ving goes, holds onto his bag. Okay. They're safe. Still counting. 50. 50. 50. 50. 50. 50. 50. 50. 50. 50. 50. 50. 50. 50. Oh, few. Okay. Yeah. We'll cut to Ving. M4 is walking over to what looks like a, um, like a motor pool almost.

There are two other max that are in, um, standby mode. That's sort of hunched down. Hmm. Like arms locked. They have that barbecue cover over them. Yeah. They got a barbecue cover over them. Um, one of them has the cover off and you can see a bunch of mechanics like working on, on it.

Uh what do you do hey boys what are you up to are you not just working on my mac yeah yep just another shift here in the refinery working in paradise yeah he's got like a huge ratchet and he's just settling a bolt what model's that oh this is a mark two he's getting kind of getting kind of old kind of long in the tooth but he does his job don't they so to describe the environment uh more so we've got this little section here imagine it's like where everybody puts their bikes but there's robots here and then there's like barrels of shit around like coal and parts and tools and there's like a big shack and this seems to be sort of the mechanics quarters it's like a bunch of portables basically in a big area and then the work site is the mine which is further down so this is basically the mechanics portable do we want to like yeah do any upgrades that's an interesting idea oh I don't know improve him yeah or like give him something else or I can ask him if he wants to make any changes oh yeah that's a good idea that's a really good idea okay I'm gonna ask him if he wants to alter himself anywhere to better suit how he feels now so you could use that you could use like the uh your spiritual connection to like talk to him silently basically like you were before yeah and so you hear more more fully the song of the choir of spirits that sort of make up m4 now and they despise the rigidity of the form that they've been given uh one hand is a weapon the other like is basically he just wants two hands he's a one's a big hammer separate appendages yeah he wants to be able to like do what he needs to do without having to worry about one hand being a big hammer okay it's just it's like quality of life stuff basically this is all that's coming to mind like two hands and he would love to not have to put fuel in his back he'd love to like be able to do it himself loaded in the front yeah in the front yeah it's like a cookie hole yeah yeah he wants to you know I desire to feed myself I've seen the small one eating on our way here and I desire to take part in similar tasks what was that purple stuff everyone here is eating this purple stuff I would love some purple stuff myself how much granola exists in your world it seems like a limitless quantity tell me more of this granola it's like a 30s radio man I love it um so I want to lead him into the you know the shop yeah there's totally a big like you know uh those like for holding up engine blocks the like kind of chain and like rack thing so cool so he can like come in and hook himself up oh yeah I thought there would be a scaffolding almost so that everyone could reach it the day he could get into yeah the the the shop zone is much bigger there's like a big shed that's like you know 20 30 feet tall with like yeah it's basically a hanger actually this is something that I guess I'm giving you for free it looks like this place was thrown up fairly recently and fairly quickly so it's not as like high tech as it could be but you can see like you know mechanics have dragged in equipment and like hooked up and stuff like that so it's like a little bit of a but there's like cables all over the place there's like steam pipes that are very haphazardly welded to things there's like tubes of coolant for like flushing and like replacing lubricant and stuff yeah yeah maybe I can give him a little like a lubricant change yeah totally so do I need a role to kind of do uh let him uh upgrade himself or I'm pretend to be a mechanic but I'm not a mechanic yeah I was gonna say I guess he's kind of directing you like with your sort of spiritual uh link he's you're being directed to do something like that yeah I was gonna say I guess he's kind of directed on how to make these changes okay great and it's like elemental mastery like I could be like you're looking for something like this and then like form him a hand yeah or something like this and then form like a claw or different things like what are you looking for how do we build this for you yeah that's really cool so yeah 2d6 plus constitution I believe great I got six six oh can I aid from a distance billy can aid from a distance yes yes I don't know or what how well it's basically just like I think we've discussed it as people the people that are in close proximity to billy are a little bit luckier right because just billy's nature rubs off on them so 2d6 plus it kind of makes sense I'm calling on the primal spirits of like fire and earth to try make him an iron mechanical hand yeah so billy's like just in the other room and is like oh something's happening yeah it's like I got like a little like almost like static radio kind of thing uh-huh so that makes it a plus one great I got seven so seven choose one the effect I desire comes to pass avoid paying nature's price retain control I'm gonna choose the effect I desire comes to pass hell yeah so what do we think uh not retaining losing control and um paying nature's price looks like in this situation because you're like up on the scaffold and m4 is sort of directing you to help and you know you're looking around making sure there are no other mechanics looking and then you know iron flows up into his hand and then you're like oh my god I got seven hands like the hammer gets removed and the thing flows into like more organic looking metal fingers I wonder if that affects other things so all the half forms like how the imps the imps yeah so it could be a situation like that but and behind happening because he's not retaining spiritual or elemental control yeah these things are building themselves into this mechanical pile monster like the iron itself is like I also want form uh-huh yeah it's so cool it's so cool that is cool I think this is like a camera thing where like ving is helping m4 with this like organic metal hand and it's sort of like flowing into the pistons and creating this uh his body just looks different than the other max now like it's kind of flowing all through him and you know the thing on his back flows through to a little thing that opens up on his chest and he reaches down and shoves some coal in there and you can hear him go yum um purple stuff delicious I call it purple and then the camera like focuses and zooms behind like nice but there's a scrap metal pile and it's kind of like that liquid metal is flowing up other machinery yeah and we'll take a look at that later like clogging up machines or like rusting around important things yeah and like reaching out to other things and pulling them in barrel on the other side of the pile like just barely moves yeah yeah drunk I won't do that I'm gonna go up soon what's going on in here oh hey well that one looks fucked up thank you I'm not one to judge but it looks like you did a bad job pretty sloppy bud I don't think you have an eye for art I like my work to reflect me so I made him more in the image of those who walk around him wow so you say that your trade also informs your art your soul is seen in the machines you work on yeah you sound just like tristan you dirty bastard you cassandra why no I know why I'm away all the time I'm emotionally I'm just not there I hear you I'm physically physically I'm not there either do you think that maybe you were emotionally unavailable and so you made yourself physically unavailable he's crying immediately he's bawling oh my god you're right what am I doing what am I doing and he takes his helmet off and he throws it on the ground it might be too late for you and sandra but it's not too late for you and somebody else thank you kind stranger thank you I have to get home to her and let her know what I've learned I'm not gonna ruin her relationship with tristan I want that on the books I did have the idea of maybe coming to her door with a bunch of cards to say I love you even though he's my best friend I'm sorry but that seems fucked up I don't think I can do that but what I can do is desert my post and I will he's saying this so loud I'm deserting my post for love that is so beautiful and he takes off his cape he unclasps it takes him a while he throws it on the ground love is more powerful than war I'm out of here see you later losers is anyone else like inspired by this yeah it seems like a couple people are like whoa he's really into this love and he throws his leg over a motorcycle and kickstarts it it's a mech it's a different mech it's a little mech with wheels see you later losers and remember desert your posts at the first opportunity for love and he roars off and all the guys in this in this bagel for love and they're cheering don't you forget about me and he slams into the closed gate he's he's crashing he falls over he's dragged away meanwhile a decepticon has been building itself in the background we're gonna cut back into the medical tent real quick uh tuck and billy oh we're not in the medical tent anymore no yeah we we've been uh patched up pretty well yeah we all meet in the cafeteria yeah yeah we got it we I've got 40 uh suckers in my mouth great can you hear you're like I take them out as one they're all like molten together perfect round cylinder yeah I have a bunch also but they're like stuck now ah they're stuck in your mouth yeah I made it too big we were having a competition you're forcing your jaw open too wide relax billy's it's just stuck in your mouth and we're like yeah you gotta just wait for it to melt crying because I I know I'm gonna lose it was it was definitely bigger and you hear a steam whistle and it seems like it's the end of some shift a bunch of people come tromping out of the mines out of the refinery buildings and they're like oh my god they're all going to the mess hall there's like a big mess hall that's where you all meet up yeah we walk we walk in and we see ving and we kind of beeline for the same table yeah totally yeah and so you've all got a tray full of food from the from the line it's uh it's a thin but somewhat hearty soup yeah uh some hard bread and um milk oh oh shit I take billy's milk and I'm like no no oh my god billy no My grip has never been stronger.

I have like toddler grip. So strong. Unbreakable. It's the kind of thing where it's like, if I pull too hard, it will break the glass and cut his hands. Also, your arm is bleeding more because you're pumping so much blood into your grip. Billy, you'll get drunk if you do this. I know. Just like that guy. And you saw what happened to him. Yeah, you guys saw Gregor. Yeah, he picked love. Gregor got dragged into the medical tent as you were leaving. He crashed into the front gate.

Will it make you happy? If I take this away from you? It won't make me happy, but it'll make me feel like you're not going to be drunk. So it'll make you happy you can have it. Okay. Good job, Billy. Good. And you guys, yeah, you're sitting at this table. There's a bunch of people, workers covered in soot. Like, it stinks like chemicals in here. I don't know. Yeah.

I let you guys know about when I was in my not dream, I made myself look out at the world and I think I maybe felt that there was some kind of demon something happening. Here? Yeah. Sorry, it's so vague. Sean didn't give me that much information to go on. I actually gave you a lot of information if you think about it. Because he's a piece of shit. If you think about it, I gave you a ton of information. I didn't hear any information, really. Yeah. Fine. Connect the dots.

He said there was just like a general presence of like demonic energy here. Could it be from the calm or the other one, calm? Oh. Or. Could it be? Maybe it's like covering all this land. Yeah. Maybe it is. Maybe it's something that they're mining. Like the coal? Maybe. And coal. Mm-hmm. Is in the word calm. Exactly. We've done this before. He's right. Holy shit. He's right. So if we blow this place up, we'll get rid of the bad feeling. Possibly. Should we try and figure out what it is first?

Yeah, probably. Okay. Okay. What did Billy find out? Oh, I tell them that like the Black Hammer Twins ultimate plan is to basically replace arcane magic with technology, like human run technology. I think they just want to control how everything runs now. But it sounds scary, you know? Democratizing power. But not really in a way. Because he brought up how the princeps used to be run, which was very opposite of democracy, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Like their steam power technology, which is what the Gibbous Man wants, right? I think so. Yeah, because you guys know, and you remember for sure from all those many seasons ago, that your goal, not your goal, but what you learned is that the lack of the stabilizing force of like Thaumic energy is what's causing the planes to smash together, which is what the Gibbous Man wants. Yeah.

So that's got to be how he's using the Black Hammer Twins. He's going to try and use them to take over the principalities and destroy all, like all vaults, all magical artifacts. Yeah, because anything left over magical, they can now do with their machines. But look what it's doing to their land here. It's so barren and sad. Look at the people, and they're all like gaunt, coughing, hacking, spitting. Totally. Hunched over the tables. This is what everyone's going to be like.

The soup is surprisingly delicious. It's really good. I pushed my soup over to Billy because I took his milk. Thanks. I tell them about my time in the mech garage. So he can feed himself now. He can feed himself. There's a lot more changes. Wait till you see him. Yeah. And you didn't have to pay nature's price? Not this time. That's crazy. I didn't notice. He like looks at his arms. Okay. That's so weird. Maybe you're just getting really good at it. I did graze my knuckle on his back.

I think that's what it was. That's it. See that little thing right there? You lost control. Oh, no, sorry. It's on this knuckle. There you go. That's you losing control right there. That's what it was. That looks really good. It stings really bad. Price. Oh, you nature. You got me. You got me, nature. You got me. Oh, man. I thought you got me this time. We'll get you next time, nature. Give me some more of that milk. Is he getting drunk off the milk? Maybe. Okay. Before we blow this place up.

Yeah. Should we try to find out what the demonic influence here is? Yes. Yes. Yeah. If it's something they're pulling out of their minds, we should maybe go into the minds. Ving links over to the person sitting next to him, hunched over. Hey, who's in charge here? You mean the foreman? Where's the foreman? Foreman's in his office. It's lunchtime, break time. Huh. All right. Should we go there? Yeah, let's go to this foreman's office. Sure.

It's like, you know, an office above the mess or something. Oh, yeah. At a factory when they have to. Yeah. Yeah. The thing up there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Surveying the mess hall. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Make sure they don't unionize. Yeah. He's standing at the window going, don't unionize. Yeah. There's a bunch of guys with crossbows. And at any time a conversation sounds like it's a union thing, they like fire it out. If they start putting acronyms together.

Three or more people talking is a potential union. Take them out. So, yeah, the guy that says the foreman's in his office gestures above and you see a little like high above the mess hall. A little office window. Foreman masterly up there. All right. We have to go have a conversation with him. All right. Get up those stairs. Okay. Yeah. You. Out of my way, crossbow guy. I got to talk to the boss. Nobody gets to talk to the boss. You got to talk to me if you want to talk to the boss. Why?

Because I'm the guy you talk to before you talk to the boss. Also, who are you? This is a member of the royal family. This little kid is a black hammer. Can't you see his royal hair? The orange of the black hammer clan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm one of their cousins twice removed. You better watch who you stop on the stairs, mister. Do you want to really talk to me like that?

I'm going to tell Colm that you talk to me like that and you're going to get your head chopped off. You can see. He's going to chop off your head so fast. You can see he's like not totally sure that he's wrong. I want to convince him somehow. Yeah. Yeah. I want to charm him for a short while. Do you have any of those? I have one fairy child left. Okay. You wouldn't have to roll for this. You just spend your last hold. Sure. Okay. Yeah. I do that. And the crossbow guy looks down at you.

I draw my little jelly knife. I'm like, look, one of the royal scepters, one of the royal blades. And his royal blade has been drawn. And his eyes widen. He goes, I'm so sorry, your eminence. I'm so sorry. I didn't recognize you. Tell the foreman his eminence is here. Right away. Right away. And I expect the most utmost respect, the best treatment. Right away. My liege. My liege. And he drops down to a knee and he crosses his hand over. His chest. His chest.

And then Tuck and Ving instinctively take a half a step back to pretend that we're security guards. And then we also do the hand to your chest thing. Right away, my liege. And he runs up the stairs. Black hammers. And he waves you up the stairs. And Billy puffs out his chest and walks up the stairs. Yeah. We walk slowly behind him. Like his entourage slash secret service. And you get to the top of the stairs and he bows as you walk by. And I say, thank you. Of course. Goodbye.

Protect the stairs from your king's liege. Very well. Click. And he's pointing at somebody at the bottom of the stairs. Yeah. Kill anybody who tries to get up here. We believe. And then Tuck leans in. He says, we believe that there's going to be an assassination attempt on the princeps' second cousin towards removed. I will defend him with my life. Be sure you do. And he's pointing over the railing. He goes, Terry, get the fuck away from the stairs. But also calm down, dude. Yeah, like be chill.

He's vibrating. There's like something about the charm that Billy uses in his winter form that's amped this guy up. He's like vibrating with tension. Safety on? Jesus. If there's like a demonic influence happening here and your spirit stuff is like going in there, it's probably like destabilizing. Like two magnets? Vibrations. Vibrations that are lining up. Yeah. That's a good point. And you are in the foreman's office. It's a pretty standard office that you would imagine in a place like this.

There's a desk and it's, you know. I like to think it's like kind of dungeon-y feeling. Yeah. It's like a torch. Oh, yeah. Venetian blinds. He goes and like closes the Venetian. Yeah. The foreman turns around. Classic dungeon look. Venetian blinds. Venetian blinds. Classic Venetian dungeon. Yeah. And the foreman turns around. He's got suspenders on. Yeah. He's got a little mustache. Yes, he does. He's got a clipboard. He's like going through papers and you flip his blinds and he turns around.

What is the meaning of this? Who are you? I close the door and I like, I drop Venetians and then we close everything. Where's Frampton? He was supposed to stop anyone from coming up these stairs. He led us through. For I am the, am I, am I continuing this? I am the cousin. Yeah. Twice removed of Colm and Callum Blackhammer. And I require your respect. You're the cousin of Colm and Callum Blackhammer? Yes. Well, I'm the last sovereign of Kynos. Nice to meet you, last sovereign.

When Turk hears that, he like for a half second goes to kneel down and then realizes that it's No. He turns back over and he's like, okay. I was being sarcastic. Now you have about 40 seconds to explain what you're doing here before I call my guards to give you what for. My guards, please. Explain. Explain. No, no, you're lead. You explain. Sir, you wanted to come up here and talk to him. And I'm just using my good name to get us up here. My good name and hairdo. And hair color.

And Turk goes forward and he says, I will talk to you. And he goes, Masterly, that is your name. Yes. Sir Lee Masterly. Sir Lee Masterly. The Black Hammer sent us to warn you of an incursion that is being planned on this facility by members of the Riverways Militia. Members of our great force turned to the Riverways Force. There are moles within the ranks of the miners. Beautiful moles. Silky fur. Sir. Sharp digging claws. Dashing chins. Strong musky wafts. Only the muskiest wafts. Okay.

So you're trying to tell them that there is danger. Yes. And what? We believe that they're compromising the mine. We have to go inspect it. Yeah. Okay. Roll two to six. I like this plan. Eleven. Okay. Ooh. And he shuffles the papers in his hand and he throws them down on the desk. I knew it. I knew it was only a matter of time. This facility is far too valuable. And speaking of time, it is of the essence. We must act quickly. You think this happens soon? I think it's imminent. This very night.

Very well. And he writes something down, puts a note on his desk, and then turns and grabs a sword out of an umbrella holder. Oh, whoa. And he straps it. He puts it on. I'll come with you. Oh, fuck. Sir. Fuck, sir. Sir, we need you to remain here with your employees. Nonsense. I didn't get made foreman of this facility for my cowardice. I got made it because my father's rich. And because of that, I have only the finest martial training available in black glass. Sir. I can relate.

For my father, too, is rich. But you are needed here. Billy. What? It might be good to bring him with us so he can, like, explain what the fuck's happening. Yeah, we can totally take this guy. Okay. Actually, sir, please come with us. I would be delighted as one of the top graduates of my class at the Grefg's Mushlin Academy of the Arts and martial skill. It's just Grefg. No, it's not me, Grefg's Mushlin. It's not Grefg's Mushlin. But he has taken on an air. Yeah. Sir Lee Masterly.

Sir Lee Masterly. Perhaps we came from the same. I don't know. Or you just were taught by him and you did the thing where you just imitated your teacher. He was so cool, even though now he's probably 80 or 90 years old at least. Because now he's 80. Because he's 90 years old. Let me show you the way. Come with me. He sidesteps down the stairs. He does a little box step on his way down. A grapevine. He, like, jumps back up. He does the friend stare thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Framed him. Hold my calls. The columns, he's like spinning around dancing in the rain. Enjoy your dinner, boys. Might be the last one you had in a while, Dabs. He dabs? I don't know what dancing is. He dabs and then he moonwalks out of the mess. Yeah, he gritties. And he walks you through the rest of the refinery. He's like, alright, let's go to the mines. We'll follow you.

It's the perfect timing because they're between shifts right now, so we've got the mines to ourselves. Totally abandoned. Just you and three members of the royal family. Trusted family members. Onwards. And he leads you up the hill to the mouth of a mine shaft. Do you know which arm of the mine they're going for? Can I use demonize again to try and like locate the source of like the demonic influence? Yep. Please, fuck god, I just give me the fucking thing. Okay, cool, nine.

Okay, so one question. Aid. How? Describe how you would aid in this. You used what? Sorry? Demonize. So I kind of use the like coin and like the… The like void in his head to feel what things are drawn to it. Yeah. It's how he can detect like what is demonically possessed. Is there any spiritual connection to the demonic realm? They're pretty different. Different, yeah. Although there might be a… I could see that being helpful here. Like you're removing spiritual interference. I like that.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you're using your like, your world talker thing to like… To quiet all the spirits in the area. Holy shit! Awesome. Box guys. Wow. Plus bond. Wow. Thirteen. Yeah, so that makes it a ten plus, which means you get three questions, or three hold off trap expert. Can I see that? Oh yeah. Is there a trap here and if so, what activates it? I guess that means is there demonic influence here and if so, where is it and what is it? Yeah.

So you realize that kind of fuzzy general feeling that you felt while you were kind of in your void place. You feel it coming out of the cave. Oh. Yeah. Like there is a wash of some sort of demonic influence, some kind of iconic presence. Flowing. What does the demon do when activated? Mm-hmm. Like what will happen to us when we go in there? Oh, nothing would happen to you when you go in there. You know, that you would be safe from the influence.

It's weird because this feels like very unlike any of the sort of iconic or demonic beings that you've experienced thus far. I'll hold on to the third hold. Sure, yeah. For the time being, knowing that it's in this cave and it's safe for us to go in. Yeah, totally. Yeah. And I tell Master there, I was like, this is the one. Excellent. Right this way, chaps. And he walks up and he pulls a lantern off the, off a sconce stuck out of the rock. Cool.

And he turns around and and calls over to the mouth of the cave, M4. Yeah, and thump, thump, thumping up the side of the hill. And you can see like flowing up his arms almost like, like, uh, like very finely wrought plates of armor is M4. Like he's covered in these flowing iron. It's like Art Nouveau almost. Yeah, it's like spiraling and there's… Kind of muscular. Yeah.

He's got two working hands and he's got like a little chute under his neck, like under his headpiece that he's physically like pressing closed. Ah. And you can hear him in his head going, mmm, I'm stuffed. Just delicious. Oh. And he kind of like pats the… He hits his chest and he goes hoot, hoot. That's sitting strangely. What do you require of me? Wait here, please. Very well. Watch our backs. Thump, thump. And like turns around and crosses his arms over his chest.

And Master Lee looks up at M4 and is like, wow, that's some machine you've got there. What is that, a Mark VI? An M4, modified. Wow. Custom job. You betcha. He's beautiful. Spins a wrench and puts it in a holster. Anyways, telly-ho, boys. Into this mine we go. And he kind of messes with the magical crystal inside. And then Tuck goes, you're the bravest guy with a rich dad I've ever met. Thank you. I've felt invincible. My entire life. You can tell.

You can tell that you have faced no struggle whatsoever. And he draws his sword and points into the darkness and goes, Sally Force, truly your life has been an unbroken boulevard of green light. Matthew McConaughey. And we cut inside and you're kind of passing through this darkened tunnel lit by the lanterns stabbed along the wall and the one in Master Lee's hand. And he's going, and see, that's why I find that whenever I have troubles, money kind of smooths the way.

All I started with was a dream, an ambition, and 40 million dollars. Oh yes, the way that all dreams are. 40 million gold pieces from my parents' fortune. And here I am. I've lost 90% of it, but I've gained a sense of superiority. It is always nice to know your father will be there to catch you. Until he dies and I inherit the rest. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. And you are nearing what feels like the bottom tuck. This feeling is growing. This presence is growing.

Billy and Ving, I think, Billy, you kind of feel weird down here, but not too strange. Ving, you feel like something is wrong down here. And as we… We've been walking down, Tuck's vision has been like clouding almost. Yeah. The fire of the torch and stuff, like it keeps like blinking out. So you're just like in pitch blackness once in every few steps. It's like he's being forced into the void place. Yeah. But there's like almost an overlay on his vision. Uh-huh. Yep. Yeah. Weird.

Would Ving clock that once in a while? Just kind of be like keeping an eye on him? I think it looks like Tuck is getting sicker and sicker as he goes down here. Yeah. Yeah. That's the feeling that Ving's having too. Yeah. Yeah, Ving, you're feeling very similarly. And Billy, you're kind of noticing Tuck and Ving are sort of staggering almost. And you reach the base of the mine and the current working deposit.

And you're standing in front of it and Masterly's like, alright, what do you think they're after? Can I… Do I have to use a fairy child for making a fairy ring? No, you don't. You just do it with dexterity. Can I do that? You could. Can I try to do that? You'd be doing it with Masterly here. Is there a way I could like on the down low make a fairy ring? That would be a defy danger, I'd say. Yeah, I'll try that. So you would defy danger, I think, with…

Well, how's Billy trying to hide it from Masterly? Like, is it like subtle movements? Yeah, it's like Billy's kind of like almost like kicking a stone around while everyone else looks for things. Cute. That seems like dexterity. Come on. Seven. So seven to nine, which means you need to maintain the ring. Yeah, so I just I'm kicking this rock around. Sorry, seven to nine is there is a threat. It's a partial success on the defy danger. Now you have to roll the ring.

So something notices that you're doing this. Yeah, yeah. That's probably what Billy was feeling. It was like whatever it is is like is sensing something. And now it knows what I am. The feeling of being watched. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So now I'm rolling fairy ring. Yes, now you're rolling 2d6 plus dexterity for the fairy ring. Nine. Okay, so you form the ring. So that means that you have to maintain the ring yourself. So you kick this stone and you're sort of just walking around the three people.

Are you getting masterly in the ring as well? I don't care. So you're forming a ring that tucking finger in for sure. I'm mostly focused on masterly die standing so close together. So Billy, it's like awkward, like part of me and like between us me separating him. Yeah. So he's kind of moving in and out of the ring. I think as part of the seven to nine, he doesn't realize what you're doing. So he's like walking back and forth over it turns around. He's like, so what's the deal? What do you need?

I guess maybe this is when I asked my last question. What else is hidden here? You duck, you are looking at this coal this like deposit. It's like, you know, deep, deep black coal kind of like flaky like coals got this weird thing where it's kind of like chunks that are all pressed together and when you like flakes apart when you when you mine it out. He's like, yeah, this is the deposit. They've been digging into this thing for months now. We'll have to take a closer look.

It's powering fully a quarter of the max in the far fields military. Yeah, it's something they said that they said that it was a good compromise. They were compromising the deposit somehow. Does it look weird to you? Nope. Looks pretty much the same as it's always looked. This this one is supposedly according to the inspectors that have come through of particular value for its unique properties. What are those?

And you're like walking forward and you're kind of groping at the coal trying to get a look at it and you realize it's really like shiny and inside of this coal. There are flakes of obsidian and above at the mouth of the cave you hear screams and that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz. So long everybody playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Take care.

Playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai. Goodbye everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music. You can find Aaron's original music at aaronreid.bandcamp.com and Aaron's special Soft Bug Ego Jazz on Vimeo and Bandcamp. So good. So good. Incredible. So funny. One of the funniest people probably alive. Directed by Abdul. Directed by Abdul and edited by Abdul. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful job. You can find us on Patreon.

Dot com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore dot com slash money please and get access to a whole bunch of stuff like the up-to-date mall Bratz feed playtests for our post Spout Lore campaign up all night including a recent one where we play bump in the dark by Jex Thomas and a whole bunch of other cool shit. So check that out. I don't have to tell you. You can find it yourself. Oh, we're also going to be we're starting to release video versions of these episodes on YouTube on our Patreon on Patreon.

We now have full video versions of Spout Lore. You've been asking for it. We're doing it. How is it? Really good. Really fun. You like you're always great on your camera. Oh, yeah. Really good on camera. You're maybe the best of us on camera. What does that mean? You just look great. You look great bone structure. You move cool. Yeah. You have interesting expressions are fun. Have like this cool news. You have this absolute ease about you that is the rest of us.

You don't have what you just look cool. Like your whole stance and way of being is so cool. And then we're we're like eggs. Yeah, you look like you're supposed to be on camera. That is so cool. And the rest of us don't guys. This can help us all. I hear what you're saying. And we put clips of Paul public feed. I will also say Jess, your reactions to everything. So good. Yeah, but it's like you also like react to stuff the way it's supposed to be reacted to.

That's the best thing about any kind of media consumption or engagement with Jessica. She reacts exactly like saying it's the best. It's there was like a thing where Sean did a very small reveal. And then you were just like, oh, it was so funny because it was like the camera just cut to you for that. There's a woman. There's a woman. I realized this semi-recently. It's so fun. We were watching Jeopardy. Yeah.

Jessica and I were watching a lot of pop culture Jeopardy, the like weird Jeopardy that Colin Jost does. And every time there's a daily double, Jessica goes. Like the people that made Jeopardy would be crying watching Jessica. Like she gets it. We did it. She understands. We fucking did it. We're moving the nation. So if you want that, and why wouldn't you, join us at the very fine chef level and up. You get full video versions of every episode of Spout Lore.

And probably all the other stuff too. For now, Spout Lore. Spout Lore to start. Let's just guaranteed Spout Lore, maybe some other stuff too. Yeah. Yeah. The Spout Lore episodes will come out a week after the regular episodes. So if you like that, check us out at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money, please. And finally, thankfully, thank you. And mostly all of you for listening. Jesus. Get this band a chicken sandwich. Goodbye. Holy fuck. Wow.

I fully had an aneurysm on mic just now. Rate and review. Rate and review. That was great. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you. I gladly Spout Lore. .

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your Game Master Sean O'Hara, joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz Hello everybody! Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers Bonjour! And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hi everyone!

When last we left our heroes, they were in the process of figuring out what's next They headed back to Morris and Perel, their wizard friends who were about to head on their way to the Highspear to begin their mysterious magical project Mmhmm And it came time for the party to decide if they were to accompany the erstwhile wizards or head off on their own to complete their own mysterious goals Primarily the defeat, or at least slowing down of the Blackhammer Twins Mmhmm They decided that their place was going to be better served on the battlefield Yeah And let Morris and Perel as well as their newfound bodyguard Victor head off on their own adventure They headed back to Hither and Yon To figure out their next step and kicked an old man, an old cobbler, out of the Hither and Yon They decided that the best place for them was to go behind enemy lines Mmhmm Sign up with the Black Last Military in some fashion and use this as an opportunity to get as close to Callum Blackhammer as possible Mmhmm Hither and Yon attempted to help them out but decided to put them instead on the road to…

The Black Last Military's High Command Tent The cart that their door opened onto traveled in a column of new recruits and hangers-on Including Murbo, one half of the Mayoral Brother Team of Pinewood Mmhmm A town from long, long ago The party was able to don some disguises to hide out Hoping against hope that Murbo is not a bad guy now Mmhmm And learn some things about the War Max Mmhmm Learn some things about Callum Blackhammer Primarily that it seems like the Blackhammer Twins have always been very direct in their governance of the Firefields Principality But that things have changed recently Mmhmm And that the war was sort of unprecedented and unexpected by the people Mmhmm Ving communicated with a War Max and the Chorus of Spirits that make up the materials Discovering mostly that they are an amalgam of different spiritual intelligences Yeah That are wanting desperately to break free of the new form that they've been made And Tuck talked to a guy named Jerome and found out that he's from Lil Sur Uh huh And that he knows Brenda and Gregom Yeah And then also asked if he'd ever met a red haired woman named Allison Right He said no he had not, what were the odds that he'd say yes Mmhmm But his friend did mention that he had run into a red haired woman named Allison Mmhmm So, is Allison nearby?

Is this just a coincidence? Who can say? Who can say? And as Tuck continued to attempt to discover or just glean some information about the goings on Mmhmm Merbo stopped him and asked, hey did you say that your name is Ving? Mmhmm Because he in fact introduced himself as Ving to Jerome And Ving keeps answering from further down the line, what? Huh? Right?

No, what dammit And just before the questioning could go any further An arrow slams the door An arrow slammed into the cart next to Tuck, signaling an ambush That is where we find our heroes now What do you do?

There's an ambush I roll for honor Oh yeah Fight with honor You don't even see an opponent right now Okay Yeah Oh People start scattering, the people that Billy was sitting with which were mostly like hangers on And a bunch of like basically the non-combatants like scatter and hide Yeah Letting the military folk move out into the sides of the road, people are trying to figure out what's going on Mmhmm And they're just like, yipping out of the woodlands People are grabbing shields off the side of the carts Oh cool Yeah, nice I like that Yeah, they're creating like a wall on either side of the road And arrows are bang, bang, bang, bang Cool I wanna use defend Okay, yep, 2d6 plus constitution Alright Smart And you are standing in defense of Of the cart where Billy and Tuck is near Great And let you go further away I'm running back to Billy also Yeah I got 11 Dude Right, Paul is using the smallest dice known to man So small that like it looks like it's going to disappear Everyone hates it except me and Paul I love it, it's rolling, I'm rolling well You're rolling great Yeah cause it's weighted poorly No it's not You don't know that So you get 3 hold for defend to be used as you see fit And you all convene back at the cart Arrows are zipping, people are running around The mechanics are like hurriedly finishing some sort of maintenance on M4 the Wormack.

Things just pretending like… Clinkity clinkity clinkity zip zip zip zap plop don't forget the Johnson rod see you guys in a second. And then it like runs back to the cart. Yeah, Tuck wants to… The thing I keep thinking of is like tipping one of the carts over to make a barrier so that the arrows can't hit us. You can stand behind a cart as well. And a burden. A burden. Yeah. Keep in mind like the one that you came out of is like a carriage basically. It's like enclosed.

I'm gonna tip it over. You're gonna tip over. Okay. Alright. Sure. 2d6 plus strength. Okay. I got a 9. Oh, nice. I'll 8. Sure. Thank you. Yeah, go ahead. I was doing the Jean Valjean thing. Yeah, totally. And Ving rolls, shows up and starts helping. 2d6 plus bond. 7. Okay. 7. So that makes it a 10. You grab onto the edge of this cart. Yeah. And strain and strain. Yeah. Then Ving comes and helps. Yeah. What are you doing? And you tip over a cart. And it stops moving.

And you hear a huge crash inside. Thank God we're safe now. We're safe. The cart is now about Two arrows go in front of our face. Between our faces. And they land on the underside of the carriage where Billy's kind of stuck in. Yeah. And now the cart's about three feet lower than it was when it was upright. But our feet are safe. Our feet are safe. Yeah, your feet. Your vital organs. Our Achilles heel.

And all the people that were on the cart with Billy hunker down behind the now admittedly more layers of protection. Yeah. Between things. And people are running around trying to figure. You hear voices going like, where is it coming from? Where are they? Can we discern realities? Absolutely. 2d6 plus wisdom. 10. Whoa. Three questions. What's about to happen?

You would guess that because this is some sort of supply convoy and the fact that the shots seem to be coming out of hiding in a way that isn't prioritizing killing people. They're trying to take something. They want to scare people away so they can grab something. Okay. Well, we're not getting this cart anywhere. They can't have this. That's for sure. It's a bit of a sitting cart right now. Uh-huh. Who's really in control? You're like tracking arrows with your elf vision.

You're trying to like figure out where they're coming from and you see an arrow shoot out of like some tall grass and you see that grass like move and you recognize almost immediately the reed capes common in the Riverways Principality. It's Alakii. Tuck fully just steps up from behind the cart and gets hit in the shoulder. Yeah. Okay. Go ahead. 2d6. Defy danger. No way. Alakii. Alakii. 2d6 plus what? I guess Constitution. Forget. Tet. Okay. Yeah, you take this hit.

You don't feel anything, but you get hit in the shoulder by an arrow. I don't react to it at all. Is that you? The arrows keep coming. What should I be on the lookout for? I guess what they want because you guys are in a bit of a tricky position here because you are disguised as members. Of the black glass military. That's your goal is to stay disguised. You also know that you are kind of on the same side as the people that are currently trying to kill you. So what do you what do you do?

Could we I'd like to parlay with with a can you sneak over there? Yeah, I could sneak over there and parlay with them. Yeah, you could try and sneak over and into the long grass. You're the littlest. You'd be the easiest costume. I'm wearing like the black tunic, but I hold up my little fun blade and I say, don't worry. I will fight them and then I scurry off into the glitter moving around in it. I go. Yeah, yeah. Cut through the grass. Uh-huh. Yeah, say to talk. I don't think he has a plan.

So I guess it'd be probably defy danger dexterity. Sure. To like sneak through to sneak through. Yeah. Holy we're all aid. Uh-huh. Here we go. Okay. Well, I got it. I wrote it. Okay. Oh, I like. All right. I got 11. Okay. Thank you. So that makes it a seven to nine. Yeah. And tuck you fail. So how are you trying to help Billy? I come out from behind the car and I try and distract people from him and it works. Yeah. Let me tell you you start waving your arms around like over a year.

Just get ahead and roll a d6 but yeah, you take four damage. I have armor subtract. Whatever your armor is three. So I only take one. Nice. You get pegged by an arrow. It's like just like I got not but five minutes ago getting big today. You get a seven to nine. Yes. So I think that someone shoots at you, but they're not trying to hit you. They're trying to like stop you. Yeah.

So you like zip into the grass and you think you've got the drop on them and an arrow like zings out of the grass near you and pins you for a second. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I take off my mask and and I say I surrender yet to d6 plus charisma eight. Okay. Yeah, and you're like a you you stay there boy. If you don't want to get hurt, that's fine. I just wanted to talk to you guys talk about what you like here arrows going back over the ground. Careful listen, we're we're on your side.

Oh, like we haven't heard that before. I'm serious. Whoa. No me. My friends were just we're on a mission. Yeah, prove it. Okay, I drop my sword. Mm-hmm. I mean, you can't keep it forever. It's really cool. I'm not gonna hurt you. I can't get over to him. It is really cool, isn't it? Oh my God. Are these yours?

You hear some like the voice that you've been talking to makes like a couple whistle sounds and then like you hear rustling as it sounds like people move away, but then someone comes through the grass in like one of these woven reed shapes. Don't hurt me. Oh my God. What is this? What does this person look like? He has dreads. Oh, yeah. Dreads. Yeah, his dreads. He's dark. He's got a pan flute hanging from his from his neck. A pamphlet? Yeah, pan flute. Oh, pamphlet.

So he's got like a reed Pamphlet? I like that. It's like a what? He's got dreads, dark skin. He's got a pan flute around his neck. Yeah. It's a real music festival. That is. Yeah, totally. You got 30 seconds. To what? To explain yourself. Okay. Well, me and my friends we're trying to get revenge against Colm Blackhammer and we didn't really know of like a cool way to or like an easy way to do it. We're really scared of him.

So we thought, wow, we just like to try to like join his army and pretend to like be on his side. And then when we get close to him, we'd pounce. And I'm supposed to just believe this. Yeah. Like, look at my outfit. It's obviously not made for me. Wait a second. And he like pokes his head up like his cape basically just barely clears the grass and he's scanning and he see it looks like he sees Tuck and he sees Ving. He's like he sees Tuck get hit by another arrow. Look at him.

You think he's trained? Ving's like, I should be defending you. I don't know why you won't let me. I could stop these arrows. Are all the arrows getting like stuck in your like leather sex suit? Yeah, it's getting stuck in the gift suit and my shoulders and stuff. It just keeps he keeps kind of like forgetting to take cover and then walking out to talk to Ving. Oh, right. We're under fire currently. I forget. He's like, wait a sec. You're those three. Yes. Oh, okay. All right. He hunches down.

He's like this. I just want you to know what is a bold plan that you've that you've devised. Yes, I know. It's quite bold. Thank you. And you hear like a couple more whistles like he whistles. He's doing that when they just whistle without their fingers. It's just the lips and teeth. And you hear a couple whistles in return. He's like, all right, they're gonna try not. To kill your friends. Okay, but we got to take out that fuel. Please do. Actually that would be great. Okay, stay here.

I have no choice. Dangerous. I have no choice. I can't move stuck to the ground and he melts into the grass in his cape and tuck Ving talk. You stop getting hit with arrows with quite as much frequency, but every once in a while one finds its way towards you get hit in the hand. Yeah. Like he's trying to get hit and Ving and talk. You both see being now that you've gotten a better look at the warmax.

You see the mechanics are just about done whatever they're doing and they're going to send that thing into the tall grass in like a couple seconds. I'd like to use defend because I know the Billy's out there. Yeah, basically the mechanics hop down off of it or maybe one stands on top. One is like standing on top of it like reaching down and holding onto a rung and it makes like a train. Whistle noise and starts thudding into the grass. What do you do?

I'm going to have the attack the attackers effect or damage. So you're trying to Ving grabs a tuft of grass and pulls it out of the ground with a clump of dirt attached and then jaunts up the back of the mech and says I got this one boys and then just secretly kind of stuffs it in all the cracks and puts in the pipes. Yeah. I'll let this one back home for grass. We use grass for everything. Trust me.

And you yeah, so you climb up this thing and start shoving grass into the pipes and cracks and you can feel and see the steam start venting in unusual ways like it's not coming out of this pipe.

It's coming out of that one which makes M4 slow down like its head starts to spin around as it's trying to analyze what's going on and the mechanic on top that is like a stride M4 looking out into the grass pointing and shouting out where he thinks he sees things is going to notice you doing this if you keep doing it. Okay, I'll jump off. Great. You slide back down and it is M4 is slowed down Billy you see you look up from where you are and this giant machine is stomping into the grass.

Oh my gosh, I'm going to roll away and like rip away from the arrow holding me down. Okay. Yeah. Defy danger strength if you're trying to rip away or dexterity if you're trying to like wiggle out of your boot rip it away. I want my boot eight. You basically like see the max slow down and start spinning its head and it kind of like bangs its chest almost like it's trying to cough. Oh interesting and then it's you can see the smoke the steam on the back is going like poof poof.

It's trying to clear the vents on its body. Cool but the mechanic sees you and shouts and points towards you and the Mac like turns and start stomping and you can't tell right now if it is seeing you as an attacker or seeing you as someone to say is my sword still laying there. Yeah, you might have rolled closer to it. Probably. I want to grab it and go wait. I'm on I I'm on your side flip flopping all over the grass being a double agent's awesome.

Yeah, yeah 2d6 plus charisma save me God these days suck five plus two seven. Okay, seven to nine. So you start screaming way your arm saying no, I'm on your side. I was I was kidnapped. I need saving. I'm just a victim M4's head spins around and looks at the mechanic who's kind of shrugs a little bit. It's like I don't know and then okay, and then he points and it starts stomping towards you reaching out. It's one fingered hand.

Okay, and I like I'm like, yes, please save me this huge hand these giant metal fingers wrap around you and from our perspective, it looks like it just killed you. Yeah, we're like no Tuck you see Billy get grabbed by this giant machine. What do you do? Tuck just like runs and like what to jump trying to get onto the Mac to get to Billy. Yeah, want him out of his hand to you six plus strength. Okay, that's a 14. Yeah, you're able to you like hop onto the cart.

You're able to you like hop onto the cart. Yeah, hop right onto the side of the thing. I yeah, I like ping pong cart to like the cold dump and then I do a huge jump and I have my axe in my head and I'm like somebody draw this and I land on top of the Mac and I look at the mechanic and I go hey, did you have you seen a little boy anywhere? Yeah, he's gone. I'm just there and I go Billy. I'd like to use I'd like to use my defend move and redirect an attack from the thing you defend to yourself.

Yeah, so I'll run up and get in. I'm thinner than Billy. Oh, I just want to like jump in the hand. Sure. So you pop Billy out of the hand and you get yourself in there. I just try and get him out but it puts me in his hand. Yeah, and the machine looks at you very confused and through its connection with you. It is unsure how to serve. Oh weird because you're a mechanic. It's you're now in its hand. It's just getting confused. Basically, it's intelligence isn't complex enough to understand.

My ears are really spinning fast. You can see its head is spinning around a lot trying to like focus on different things and different people trying to collect as much data as it can and it's not doing very well. Yeah, and I say I think I have I've seen this before let me down. I shall help you. Yeah defy danger charisma three failed. There we go. It seems very confused and you feel the hand start to tighten around your torso. Am I still in the grip? No, you're basically like on top of the hand.

Oh thing pop you out. I'd like to wedge my knife in one of the joints. Yeah, Bing is going to take a little bit of damage first. Okay, roll a d8 x5. So that's 10 damage to Ving. Yeah, can I defend? Yeah, so you would roll 2d6 plus Constitution. Sure. Sweet. Okay, so that's 10. I would like to yeah, drive the knife into like maybe the thumb. Joint of the mech and maybe you help me like pushing it down over top of my yeah vital organs. I'm down big fella totally.

Yeah, so defend that would be one hold for one of these options. I guess I would like to deal damage the attacker equal to your level so for damage and these things have significant armor remember but you do jam it into the hand enough that like weirdly it seems like it hurts it and it like opens its hand. I'm sorry and then drops to the ground with a stud because you know, you're like eight feet up. Yeah. Yeah, I gather myself and I get up top and I start pulling the clumps of dirt out.

Yeah, totally talk you're up there and this it m4 looks like it's starting to panic in a way it doesn't know what's going on anymore. I think it starts to reach up onto its back and its hand is like grasping for me for you for the mechanic that's up here. The mechanic seems like he's panicking too. Okay, I go to the mechanic. I go don't worry. I've seen this before I can fix this and then I kick him in the chest off the mat are you trying to deal damage or just kick him off?

I just want to kick him okay 2d6 plus strength because I want him to not control this thing and I know being kind of has a connection with it. Yeah, it seems like it. Yeah. Yeah, so I feel like him not being around will calm it down and allowing to control it eight eight. So you don't worry. I've seen this a million times pow kick him straight in the chest and he starts flying off but he grabs onto your leg and the momentum carries you both to the ground. I try and land on top of him.

Yeah, you land on top of him for sure. Okay, or no, I guess yeah, you could roll for this. Okay six plus dexterity. Yeah, that's six plus three and then dexterity is now negative one. Okay, so seven to nine, which means you're both going to take this damage. Yeah, roll a d10 and then roll it again. Okay, so four so he takes four five you take five. Yeah, yeah as you slam into the ground and now all of you are on the ground and m4 just starts to freak out.

You know, it's starting to do the like turn and like the pipes start just playing music like panicked music and it's stomping around its head is spinning its arms are swinging. Oh, we're still on it. Hey, no, because Ving got dropped. Oh Billy you're on the hand. I'm on the hand. The arm starts to swing wildly out to the side. Oh, yeah, I'm holding on trying to stay to like his underside so he doesn't see me as well. Okay, so 2d6 plus dexterity. Okay, 10 10. Yeah, you hold on.

Yeah, you're getting whipped around like a tennis ball in one of those dog ball throwers and arrows start plinking off of it and there's some a couple like jamming in between the armor plates. It looks like it's about to rampage. Basically, it doesn't know what to do. I want to jump on top of it and clear the dirt out and try and calm it down. Yeah, sure 2d6 plus dexterity to get up there. I got nine. Yeah, seven to nine. Can I aid? Yeah, sure.

I want to do the thing that he did for me at the other Mac fight. I help him jump. Yeah, I jump off his back. Yeah, 2d6 plus bond. I will be your stairs. Holy shit 11. Yeah, you are. I throw him so far. You kind of have to grab on to not go past it. Yeah, and we draw this. Oh, yes. Somehow Ving still doesn't look cool while he's being thrown onto the back of this thing. Hey, you can't do that to me. He's pinwheeling and Tuck like looks sick. There's like a breeze in his beard.

I didn't expect it to be that strong. He's basically cheating to the camera with a flex. He's so vascular right now. Can only fling with one eyebrow up. He's an ape. Yeah, you land on the back of them for her. I use my wrench to start digging all the dirt out and like trying to shush him and lull him. Okay, 2d6 plus wisdom. Oh nine. Yeah, I'll aid. Yeah.

So Billy you're hanging on to the underside and you see as the arm gets flung like up over its back clearly going to the pipes to like yeah, it looks like he's almost going to wrench them off like he's freaking out. It's it's freaking out and it looks like it's going to pull the pipes off its back. Would it hurt Ving if it did it? Probably because it's just going to be like a catastrophic destruction. Yeah, I drive my knife again into one of the joints closest to me. Six. Six. I fail.

Okay, so Billy fails, but it's still a seven to nine. Yep. Billy you get tossed clear. No! Yeah, you see Billy like a volleyball fly through the air. Luckily you went in the long grass. And because I made Tuck do a d10 you gotta roll a d10. I have to roll a d10? Yeah, you're getting hurled through the air. Me? Sure. I have a baby. You did fail. Seven? Holy shit, dude. Seven damage. You slam into the ground. Whoa, I'm almost dead. You're almost dead? No, I have nine left. Okay.

That'd be fucking bad. Yeah, there's just like clumps of dirt and mud flying everywhere. I landed on the one huge rock. It's so sharp. And I hit my funny bone and I'm going, eww. . Just cause you landed on your elbow and you're like, eww. . It's mostly spiritual damage that you took. Yeah. It's embarrassing. But you're able to get some of the clumps out of the pipes and the steam starts moving more naturally. And I want to sing the song that he was singing before when he was in a good mood.

Yeah, which is basically like Scotland the Brave or whatever. Yeah. And you are imparted with, it is confused. Yeah. It is scared. Which makes you go like, wait, scared? Yeah. I want to try and talk him down. I don't know why I rolled, but I got a four. Hold on. You just rolled a four. I rolled a four. You rolled a four plus your charisma. Yeah. Oh. Which is zero. Shit. Oh, man. It does the thing that it was trying to do.

It feels you on its back, reaches up, grabs you, kind of spikes you into the ground. Roll a d10. Two. Two. Okay, two damage. It grabs you, but it just like isn't quite able to get a firm grip on you. Yeah. And you kind of just tumble out of the ground. It just comes out of its hands. My hair. And it looks at the battlefield. Because people are still, you know, fighting, running out of the grass, running into the grass, and it runs off. Whoa, cool. Shit, just like into the distance?

Into the trees. No. Shit. I'm four. It runs and it like starts knocking trees out of the way as it charges into the woods. No. And we hear like a song as it runs away. And yeah, it is. Sing me a song of a land that is gone. Earth is blue. Yeah. And it's gone. And mechanics, a couple mechanics like run after it, but it looks like the Riverways people are not achieving their objective. Shit. Can we look over and see what's going on?

Basically like a few infantry people, it looks like a lot of people have run off to be honest, because these are like new recruits. Right. There are officers trying to get people in line, but some people are just throwing down their weapons and running off. There's like whole forces that are kind of freaking out and like kind of just bolting in random directions. Exactly. Our weapons were in that cart. We cannot actually.

People are trying to wrench the door open to the carriage like, why has it got tipped over? Um. And M4 taking off really threw things into chaos. Yeah. I think that like the cart of coal did get tipped over probably in the, because M4 was lashed to it. Like he was pulling it. Oh yeah. So as he was rampaging it just got knocked over and torn free. But they need the fuel. They want it for some reason. Yeah.

And I think that's what it is, is they can't get out of the woods and the cart is like immovable. So people are, they're being fought off of this cart. Fucking shit. Yeah. So you guys have sort of re, you guys have regrouped? Yeah, we're still in the tall grasses I think. Yeah, with the, with the pan flute guy. And the mech mechanic is still. They ran off after M4. Okay. Yeah. They get in so much trouble if they lose their mech. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. Oh no.

Yeah, we cut to him. Word fucking dead man. They're just running. He's so fast we made his legs so short but so quick. I can't lose my mech this close to Charles Eve. I'm already on thin ice with the foreman. And pan flute guy is like, what are you doing? I don't think we're gonna win this right now. We're gonna have to try again later. What do you mean try again? Call your forces off. We'll try and set up an ambush further down the road. And this time it'll work. Alright.

Somebody roll a defy danger charisma. Billy, you have the most charisma other than tuck. Rollin'. Jessica's very specifically choosing to not touch the dice that I roll. I've seen some questionable dice. Incredibly specific. You made a bunch of very specific choices. No, I have rejected my personal dice and yours in favor of this one that always performs well. Roll these guys. No, I don't want to. These are mine. Why do I always have to touch your dice? Oh, thank God. Eight plus two, ten. Nice.

Ten. You did it. He looks at the three of you, nods, and whistles into the trees, and the arrows stop. Or there's a couple like fighting, like parting shots. Jerry! Jerry stop. And a clang clang, dunk dunk, and then the pan flute guy plays a little tune on his flute. And says, come with me. And into the grass. Yeah, we go. Into the trees. We follow him. Are we following him?

And there's a bit of a harried flight through the trees as you are trying to follow, as the sun is like going down and the sky is becoming red, trying to keep your eyes on pan flute guy. His cape is blending into the underbrush. His hair is blending into the underbrush. Yeah. And you see on the corners of your vision like other Reed caped figures darting through the trees as well. They're so dextrous. They're like Tarzan moving through the trees. Oh, yeah. Cool.

Just like freewheeling like limbs, just like spinning through the trees. Hippie X games. Yeah. They're doing parkour. Yeah, they're doing parkour. They're like doing that jump where their legs are underneath them as they fly over a log. Totally, yeah. Cool. And they're all wearing Tevas. What's that? The sandals. They're shitty sandals. They're annoying. They squeak. So you hear squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. I do. They're running through the trees. Russell Russell's week.

And eventually they come to a halt and they gather. There's probably about, I don't know, 15, 20 of them. In the distance you can hear pipes and crashing. And pan flute guy turns. That was pretty bold of you. Thank you. How do we know that you're not here to undermine our efforts? Because we fought with you like a few days ago. You fought not with us. I heard about you on the grapefruit vine. Yeah, with Alec, Alec's roommate. Yeah. Do you know Alec's roommate? Do you know Alec? Who?

Okay, never mind. You're not important to me. I gotta go. See you later. Talk starts tragic. So you're, you mentioned an ambush later. Yeah. You would help us with this? Yeah, of course. But we would have, it would have to be kind of the same thing. Double agents, you know? Yeah. We're team Riverways all the way. But we snuck in because we want to kill Colm Blackhammer. Yeah, we have a personal vendetta against him. Yeah. They all like look at each other and laugh a little bit.

Who here doesn't have a vendetta against Colm Blackhammer? Yeah, and you should know that most of the people on that side of the army do too. So careful where you're aiming those arrows. A lot of those people aren't fighting for them because they want to. Yeah, all those people ran off. They don't want to be here. We understand. We pick our shots. But anyone that raises a weapon in service of the firefields is our enemy and will be treated as such. I understand. I'm Pan.

These are the Riverways Harriers. Sick. Cool. Hi. I'm Tuck. I'm Billy. I'm Ving. Nice to meet you. Head back to camp. Alright. And then there's a bit of a like, just the scene of like trudging through the woods. Do we have a moment? Does anyone want to poultice? I got so many. Yeah, I could use one. My stitches are coming apart. Oh, Billy. Oh, God. It's hard under this scratchy linen shift. So hard against my soft baby skin. I'm good. I only lost like four hit points.

I'll just dig these arrows out. Oh, yeah. Billy got fucking volleyball spiked into the ground. Yeah, I think I broke my arm maybe. Geez, Billy. Do you have a poultice for a broken arm? Yeah. Oh, my God. Just hang in there. Polyjuice or whatever it's called. Yeah. And when you say, do you want me to dig the arrows out? Tuck's like, what are you talking about? And he turns around and he looks like a porcupine.

It's like the guy in Indiana Jones when he turns around and he has all those tarantulas on his back. Yeah. Just like 80 arrows. What do you mean? Whoa. Oh, my God. Is this serious? Is it bad? Is it bad? I'm positive. 80 arrows is too much. Oh, man. It really helps that I can't feel most things, but I feel like that's a drawback in this situation. I tie strings to them and then tie it to a sapling and then knock over the tree. So how many hit points does Billy get back? Seven.

Yeah, so I'm at 16 again. Excellent. And you are walked through the woods. The harriers start pulling out little glass jars with mushrooms in them and they shake them so the mushroom batters against the glass and they light up. And they're using these as light sources to guide you through the trees. I light up TLC. Oh, yeah. And a couple look over. Oh, yeah. And I bring out my little willow, the willow wisp. Yeah, there's a little jingling, bell jingling sound as this light cat appears.

I bring up some ferris from my bandolier and set my hand on fire and hold it up like a torch. Whoa. So cool. Whoa, so sick. I go to touch his hand and I burn myself. Dude, what are you doing? That's not. That's crazy. That's fire? Oh. And so many, like, you guys all bring out your crazy adventurer light sources. Yeah. And you hear the harriers going like, man, those are so cool. Oh, man, our mushrooms. Fucking lame. No, no, dude, they're cool. What do the mushrooms say?

Yeah, wait, alright, thanks. We were inspired by how cool your light thing was. Yeah, okay, well, you didn't have to show off like that. I grow these mushrooms myself, you know. I grow them. That's really cool. I grew these mushrooms. You're a mycologist. Uh, whatever. You eventually get back to what looks to be an old logging camp. Oh. Like an abandoned logging camp. There's a destroyed sawmill, various piles of old timber. And they start setting up a cook fire and the like.

And you are welcome to sit around the fire with a pan. And a few members of the members of the harriers. We sit with them. Yeah. And food is distributed. Nothing fancy, but like a hearty, fungal stew. Oh, nice. Justin, that's That's what it is. Mushroom soup. I guess it's just mushroom. Yeah, mushroom soup. I love that, actually. Okay, Billy at first is like, woo, but then he's like, mm. Does that have cream in it? Yeah. It's because they call it a fungal stew. Yeah. Ugh, what?

Oh, mushroom soup. I see. I've had this before. And Pan is just eating some soup. And yeah, so what's your, why do you fight? We fight because we must. Our homes are threatened by the Blackhammer Twins. I mean, I guess same, because I know your homes are threatened. I was just gonna say, I guess we don't necessarily want to relay our bigger picture. Yeah. I keep the Gibbous Man stuff pretty close to the vest for two reasons. One, we don't know if we can trust them.

Two, we would sound fucking crazy. We would sound a little crazy. We're fighting because the God of the sky is gonna try and collapse reality. Ving says that. At the risk of sounding crazy. Do you say that? No. Okay. So yeah, when Billy says, for the same reason, because your homes are in danger, he like, nods. He's like, there's, much wisdom in you, young boy. And then, uh, I throw up because I ate too much. Like, like baby style, where it just burbles out of your mouth.

So you have intentions of ambushing the supply cart again. Look, man, we're down to help you guys with whatever you need. We have some good friends that live in the river ways from Bullrush. Oh, Bullrush Village. Yeah. Hmm. Stetton Walden, do you know them? Ha! Not a soul in the river ways doesn't know Stetton Walden. They're pieces of shit, right? Yeah, they're terrible. They're terrible. Kind of embarrassed that they come from where I come from.

It's embarrassing that we come from the same village, but we do. Why is it that whenever I meet anyone who's heard of where I come from, they know these pieces of shit? It's like our big nickel. They're, cause they're always in the longhouse, and they're always fucking making fun of people, and they're BRUTAL about it. Cut to the bone. Um, I've heard of your exploits, your prowess. What have you heard? That you took down a Mac. Yeah. By yourselves. Pretty much. Maybe. Impressive. Pretty sick.

Pretty impressive. And then Tuck, like, condescendingly puts his hand on Ving's forearm, and he's like, we all contributed equally to the effort. Ving takes a bite out of the spoon in his mouth. Crunch. Crunch. All in our own way. Billy killed this thing, like, by himself. Tuck's like, I kinda led the effort. He said Tuck is doing the thing where he's also self-conscious about it. You might remember hearing how well I did. You're doing it again.

Then, I think what he's, I think his thought is, I'll just sit. With three warriors such as yourselves, I can't help but feel like hitting a caravan full of new recruits and hangers on might be a waste of our efforts. Oh. You have something grander in mind? I do. Tell us. What does he have in mind? That's what happens is his eyes get really big and he's like, oh shit, I didn't think of anything. One moment, please.

And you can see he's like, you see his eyes moving around a lot, like he's going through a rolodex of potential targets. I think he's imagining a strategically important location that you could take. I mean the fuel supply. Maybe there's a coal mine? Oh yeah. If we can take control of a nearby coal mine. What if we blow up their fuel refinery? Because we said there were a bunch of different types of coal that are treated different ways. Oh, the alchemical. Yeah.

So what if we go and find out where they do that? Because the fire field does all these hyper mechanized factories. Yeah. So what if we go and we find the distillation fields or whatever and we blow everything up? Then they won't be able to power the max. Yeah. I like that. Put satchel charges everywhere. Whatever those are. You're not wrong. You're not far off. Yeah, he says there is a chemical refinery nearby that the fire fields use to produce special kinds of fuel for the max.

And it is far from the only one. They are not so foolhardy as to centralize their logistics in such a way. But if we were to destroy this one facility, it would reduce the amount of max that they would be able to field in this area. Okay. It would save countless lives. Will you help us with this? Yes. Absolutely. But if we're gonna do it, we're gonna save as many lives as we can count on their side. And if we do this, you have to tell Alec Key how cool we look.

He's sure he rugs and shakes his head. Again, I do not know your friend. Well, you'll have to find out who Alec Key is and then pass along that message. Yeah. Okay. So your request in exchange for aiding us with this very dangerous mission is that I pass along the information that you look cool while it happens. Oh, yeah. It's literally the most important thing. It's kind of very specific person. Yeah. And her roommate. Yeah. Or just spread it around and then everybody will know.

And it'll get to her. Perform with valor enough and your tail will spread its own. Do you have any fan artists in your kind of like I heard you screaming something about being drawn. This is something I've heard yelled on battlefields frequently lately. It's getting traction. A lot of people are yelling at you. No, it's actually you specifically. I've said it three or four times in the last few episodes. I'm just doing it. So we need someone to do it. We need someone to do it.

Just literally get it. Yeah, it was you did get drawn. Yeah, it's like your wish when you give into a pet. Now he's going to say it every time. It looks awesome. Gave me chicken one time. Now you give me chicken every time there's chicken. We all looked awesome. And I tried equally awesome. You Chris, you grab my wrist aggressively angry way. Kind and condescending equally drew it. We all equally equally drew it. We all drew it together. Great. So Pan nods very well.

If this is all you require is the sharing of your tails and put us in front of Callum. I can't promise that or at least put us in touch with somebody who can that I can try. Okay, cool. Thank you. All right. I recommend getting some sleep. You are safe here. And on the morrow we will reconnoiter the mission area. Could I make a fairy ring? Absolutely. Yeah. Roll dexterity nine plus two, eleven. Eleven. Sweet. So what does this look like? Billy making a ring around this around the camp?

Yeah, around the camp. What? Oh, nothing. I just assumed that their glowing mushrooms would be up like so it's like. Yeah, Billy's really inspired by the glowing mushrooms. So he grabs a jar and shakes them out. Like just the spores and then like I don't know they just pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Yeah. I love that. Yeah, but he does it like he tries to be chill about it like and then he's like whoa look everyone. That's crazy. Yeah and the Harriers. Weird.

The Harriers walk out to the edge and are like wow. I feel like if we all stay inside it that would be really cool. Yeah. The ring is like formed around the whole camp and there's like motes of like different spores. Glowing spores. Glowing spores coming out. Floating in the air. One guy gets up to go to the bathroom. He stands, he gets up and he's like outside the ring. He's like oh it's so cold out here. Oh yeah. He just walks back in. Weird. It's almost like you should come back in.

I want to roll what the bones know for tomorrow. Yeah, absolutely. So you're kind of like coming down. Yeah. Preparing for some rest. Yeah. A four. Oh great. Four, yeah that could save you. Ooh. Yeah. Great. So you have a four stored for a potential roll. On the morrow. Anything anyone wants to do or think about? I would like to heal while I sleep. Yeah, you rest. So you're making camp. That is a move. When you settle into rest, consume a ration. You've been fed. You don't have to.

I have been fed. Yep. If you're somewhere dangerous, you're not. So you don't have to keep watch. You are safe inside the circle. Yeah. So how many hit points do you heal? Half your max HP. Okay, so I'm just all the way up. Oh wow. Yeah, me too. Yep. I think everybody's probably good to go. Yes! Okay. You wake. The sun rises. I would like to roll fairy child. Oh yeah. You feel the sun in this new place. New lights under new trees. Oh. Seven. So I get three hold. What season is Billy right now?

Are you still summer? I think he's still summer. Cool. Are you looking to change your season at all? Sure. Oh. Let's get you back to fall. Yeah, let's or spring. Spring. Get you back to spring. So you're rolling a d4, remember? Oh, sorry, a d4. Damn it! Ugh. Winter. Oh. Fuck. Oh no. Can you do the thing where you just roll again? No. Yeah, so you deal an additional d6 with your damage and now you have a zero to your charisma. Yeah, so I wake up and I'm moody. Yeah. Ugh. Yeah.

Because you chose to sleep on the ground. I chose to sleep on the ground. Billy like crack, crack, like pulls himself out of frost. Uh huh. And he has like a little like kink in his neck. He's like ow. A lot of the hair ears have been up for a while. Like there's already fires burning and people are preparing their gear. Did I have a dream last night? No, you don't have dreams. But did I dream, did I see the demon of servitude? Yeah, what do you think? I don't know. Maybe I did.

Because it feels like it might be useful if I could figure out how to use it. Well, the only thing is the only thing is to consider the fact that the consequence for the Neurophage thing was that you do not dream at all. I don't dream at all. Yeah. But we do, we have established that that does give me connection to Black Spire. Yes, yeah. Well, I mean a void and then sometimes Black Spire shows up and sometimes a demon talks at me. Yeah, there's like a there's like a hole in your soul basically.

Yeah. Where other stuff can go in now. Yeah. I think that it's like you close your eyes and you wake back up. You fall asleep, boom. You wake back up. Yeah, there's no intervening time. Yeah. Yeah. You open your eyes. And as you're like, how was Tuck, Tuck was just sleeping on the ground? Yes. Yeah. Staring up at the trees, you open your eyes. Wait, does Tuck sleep on his back? Yeah. How do we think Tuck sleeps? He snores on his back, for sure. Yeah. Tuck is a sleep on his back kind of guy.

Uh-huh. Pass out by accident. A little sleep apnea dude. Oh yeah. Yeah, Tuck sleeps in the way that I sleep in all of the pictures that you guys have taken of me while I've accidentally fallen asleep. So like, on your back, head tipped back, mouth wide open. Totally by accident. Yeah. Falls asleep by accident. Doesn't intentionally ever go to bed. He will never wear his CPAP machine even though he's supposed to. Yeah. Oh, Tuck has sleep apnea for sure. Yeah. He snores like a bandsaw. I know.

And if we weren't always in a fairy ring when I slept, we would constantly be getting snuck up on by stuff. There'd be some assassin that's like, Hark, what is that? Hark, what is that? A soft target? A siren? A siren? I could've shot the barbarian in the dark. And as you wake up, you're staring up at the trees. You have the distinct impression that you just stopped snoring. In your head you hear, I could help you. And Tuck in his head thinks, you're only supposed to be a nighttime thing.

Who said that? There's a void. Things seek to fill a void. In my head? In your soul. What does that mean? You'll learn in time. Can I Spout Lore on that? Yeah. Yeah. I have fount of knowledge, so I get a plus one on if it's something that nobody knows about. No one could help you with this. Please, just bless these dice. So it's six. And no one can aid. No, cause he's asleep. He's like just waking up. He's by himself. So sorry, the blessing did not work. It didn't work. Yeah.

I try to think like in a way where I can pin this thing down to see it, cause I don't get it. You're trying to look with your mind's eye. Oh yeah. So I think you're like, you can feel yourself trying to like grab onto this thing. Yeah. I'm like, how did you get in here? So you're trying to grab it. You're trying to ask it questions. And you hear it say, in your head, I'll teach you. Tuck uses weaponized dissociation.

When you are subject to mind control or magic that influences your feelings, you may choose to take one D4 damage, ignore his armor, to ignore the influence. Okay. So basically he wants to just like slam the door on whatever the fuck this thing is. Yeah. One. Yeah, so you take one damage as you feel yourself mentally slam the door shut on servitude. Okay. Not a great way to wake up. Yeah. But yeah, the camp is starting to wake. Billy's kind of cracked himself back into winter.

Tuck has woken up, troubled, and with a new kind of ride along companion. Ving? He woke up hours ago and was trying to track M4. Oh. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. Cool. We can cut out there. I just went out for a bit and then tried to scan the horizon. Yeah. See in a direction. What do I see? Discerned realities. Discerned realities, I guess. Yeah. 2d6 plus wisdom. What do your elf eyes see? Whoa. Holy shit. I got 15. Holy shit! Please tell me what I see. Over the curvature of the earth. Yeah.

And you see it's totally flat. Yeah. It is a flat earth. You see the edge. You see the ice wall where the Illuminati are living. Oh my god. And you see past the ice wall, we're on a spherical planet that is all ice. So flat earth is sitting on top of a sphere. Yeah. Where the real earth lives. It caters into the edge of nothingness. Yeah. And the only thing. Played on a beach ball. The only thing keeping it upright is the Republican Party of the United States. Yeah.

We're on the back of that elephant. Yeah. I'm saluting right now. I was compelled to salute. I don't know why. Okay. Yeah. You get three questions off Discerned Realities. What happened here recently? What happened here recently? You find a spot where trees are knocked down in a pretty clear line. Like they were yanked out on one side and then smashed down as if with a giant hammer on the other side.

It looks like M4 took a pretty straight shot and anywhere that it passed through was only altered by like large like stones. Anything that it could smash through it did. Okay. What here is not what it appears to be. So you think that based on the mechanics that ran after it, they would tirelessly chase this thing. But the footprints that you're following that you see are like human footprints eventually veer off into the trees.

Like they either gave up or were chased off or got frightened or something. But it looks like M4 is on its own. Hmm. What here is useful or valuable to me? You would assume that without the mechanics and without the fuel, eventually it's going to shut down. Which means that if you can find it, you might be able to, I don't know, learn how they work or claim it for yourself. But eventually, it's going to just like turn off and kind of curl up. But you know it's out there. All alone. All alone.

Thing's crying a little bit. You also realize that your plan is to go to a fuel refinery. So he might be heading for a refinery. Like if he has basic like self-preservation instincts, he might head for the refinery to try and reload. Yeah, maybe that's one of their base programs. Okay. Cool. And you head back and the people are packing up and Tuck and Billy, you see Ving coming out of the trees into the camp. What do your elf eyes see, Ving? Uh, I think he's on his own.

M4 is out there somewhere. I shed a tear for him. You weep for the machine? I don't know, he's just a little guy out in the wilderness on his own. They're engines of destruction. On the outside. On the inside they're made of things of this world. And those things have a voice. Pan like considers this. Alright. I think it's time that we head out. And uh, you're basically gonna be led through the trees and the trails to this refinery. Uh, I think we could, I guess we could do a perilous journey.

Sure. Seems like the kind of thing we'd wanna do. So someone's gotta roll scout ahead, someone has to roll navigate, and someone has to roll manage provisions. I'll scout cause I'm gonna be in scout mode. Mhm. I'll navigate. I'll manage provisions. Perfect. I'm plucking all the mushrooms from the circle. Nice. Great. Ten. Eight. Eleven. Okay, cool, that's pretty good. Yeah. Alright, so describe the food that Billy has prepared for everyone on the walk.

Um, he took the leftover mushroom soup and has added the glowing mushrooms to it and he's like, they're probably fine to eat. But he also snuck in a big blob of butter. Woah. That he found. That he found? Yeah, like some of the bog butter that the the Riverways people keep in their Bog butter? Yeah. Bog butter? Is that edible? It's a real thing. Is that real? Tell me about it. Oh, they bury it in bog, like bog water. Woah. Or in a bog. It's butter. Yeah, it's butter. As we know it.

And you just bury it. And it preserves it. Oh, cool. So Billy found in like a peat moss bog a big ball of butter and he was like, they're gonna love this. They're gonna love this, you guys. The flavor. Is swamp. It's smoky. It does taste really good. Yeah. Yeah. And the mushrooms don't kill you. Yeah. Apparently. None of them do. But everybody's like, every time someone burps, like glowing motes of spores come out of their mouths. We also are high for like an afternoon. It is a mild high.

It's mild. It's into a high episode. And it's actually from the butter. Yeah. From the butyric acid. Everyone says, it says here that everyone who licks their lips takes plus one forward. And I lick, I'm licking a tree cause I, it looks like a giant candy cane. Yum. And scout ahead. You got an 11. So you choose two from the list below. Get the drop on whatever lies ahead. Beneficial aspect of the terrain, like a shortcut or shelter. You make a discovery or notice a danger.

I get a drop on whatever's ahead and make a discovery. Okay. Choose one from the list below for navigate. You happen on a discovery missed by the scout. The going is slow. Or you encounter a danger. I'll encounter a danger. Okay. You're walking along with the Harriers. They're doing their thing where they're like flitting from tree to tree. You hear whistling ahead and Pan appears at your side. The scouts have found something. What? And then you rush forward and it is, it looks like tracks.

Like big, huge feet. Metallic tracks. It looks like M4 came this way. This is him. And it looks like he has become much more… Cautious. Like he's either calmed down or lost energy. He's not smashing trees down anymore. It looks like he's moving through them. And that means that he's going slower because he has to move his like immense bulk between the trees. It looks like there was a bit of a scuffle at some point. Like you see the tracks like are irregular. Like he's facing this way.

Now he's facing this way. And you hear shouting from the scouts. And then you hear like a scream. Whoa! We ran up. So you see one of the harriers is like wrapped. Like one arm is up here, the other's like down. And is wrapped in the coils of a huge snake. Whoa! Oh my god! And you see like it's kind of got these feathered scales that kind of dip off of it. And it's like this kind of iridescent emerald blue. Oh my god, beautiful! And then it looks at you.

It sees everybody rush out of the trees as the harrier that's gripped by it, their eyes are wide. It looks like they're starting to lock. And you see like two punctures kind of on their chest. Oh no! And then this beautiful ethereal violin like eeeewwwwww like plays in the air as the snake disappears from view. Disappears? It's a harp snake! What? And the harrier like drops to the ground stiffened. Whoa! I run up to him. How stiff is he? Like all of him? He is rock hard, brother.

Um, Ving go ahead and roll a 2d6 plus wisdom. I guess to examine this. Uhhhhhhhhh 9. 9. I'll help! I aid. 8. Okay, so you like haul Billy along because this is a quick thing. This is obviously, it looks like the puncture wounds weren't super deep but this was a paralytic that was injected. And they are locking up stiff. Oh, I massage their legs, try to keep them, I don't know. Yeah. I suck out the poison. Alright, this sounds- I shove a book into his mouth so he doesn't bite his tongue.

Yep, sounds good. I think while you're running up to try and help this guy, this is what you hear. In the trees. Like echoing through the trees. Through the brush. Yeah. And it goes into like a defensive position as he hears the harp snake. He has- he went to a music festival where a girl lost control of her harp snakes and uh everyone was really pissed off at her. Yeah, that makes sense. It was a huge party foul.

And you hear this like eerie- No, we don't want to come back with you to this festival, Nadine! Four people died! Nadine! And uh, as you run up and Billy starts massaging his legs and Ving is sucking on him and Tuck jams a book in his mouth, there's like this beautiful eerie violin like playing in the trees, echoing off the branches, playing in the underbrush. So Billy's trying to massage. Yes. 2d6 plus 2d6. Dexterity. Ten. And I'm massaging so well. Just like Stay with us, brother!

You'll be just fine. And you're massaging like around the joints and in the knees and hips. Yeah, I'm like, do you have arthritis? It's crunchy in here. I do! And- but the legs start moving a little bit as you massage the venom out of the joints. Ving, you were trying to suck some of that out? Yeah, yeah, I'm just trying to do- 2d6 plus constitution. Uh, you got a seven. Nice. Oh, beautiful! Yeah, you're able to, uh, suck a good mouthful of this venom out. Yeah.

He's so hard, and I got most of it out. Oh, gross! I'm draining this hard man. He's so less hard than he was before I started sucking him. With nothing but my skillful mouth. Yeah, Tuck looks back over his shoulder and he's like, he's getting soft, that's great. Good job, guys. I'm almost there. I'm almost done. I'm almost finished. Yeah, I'll take care of this fat snake, okay guys? Uh, but as you do this, you hear a crescendo of strings in the underbrush just in front of you. What do you do?

It's coming back. Can I attack it? Sure. You can't see it right now. Can I use deathless to try and see it? Deathless being? Uh, you know your end, uh, when you enter a fight knowing death will not come, roll plus wisdom. On a hit, your foes are dismayed. Take one, plus one ongoing against them until the fight is over. On a ten plus, your surety in your destination makes something about the now more clear. Ask a question from the discerned realities list.

I kinda wanna enter a fight knowing that I can't die here. Like, this thing's not gonna kill me. Yeah. 2d6 plus wisdom. Twelve. Okay, there you go. You get a question. What is about to happen? Okay, yeah, so you're listening, um, you're keen musician's ear. Yeah. You're able to like track the sound of it. Be flat. Yeah. Exactly. Tuck has his eyes closed and he's like, it's music. Free music. You say it's music and a couple of the Harriers look at each other like, what? What does he mean by that?

And, uh, you, but you do hear the strings crescendo like three feet away from Ving. Okay. And you know exact, you can pinpoint where this thing is. Yeah, I'm just gonna slash the axe through it. Yep. Hack and slash, 2d6 plus strength. Uh, eight. Perfect. So you're gonna take damage as well. Okay. But you get to roll your attack on this thing. Okay. D10 for damage? Uh, yeah, you roll a d10. Seven. Oof. Okay, yeah, uh, roll a d10. Three. Okay, so you take three damage. Okay, yeah.

You hear the music and you step forward. You swing your mighty axe. Yeah. Where you hear this insidious orchestra coming from and you hack into the side of this thing. Your axe bites into the air. Mm-hmm. And it's suddenly appears before you. It's like ten feet long. Holy shit. Really thick around, like thick around as a man. Ugh. Ugh. And as you hack into it, it chomps onto your shoulder. Ugh! You don't feel it, thankfully, but you are still scared by this giant snake that's now biting you.

Yeah, and you hear Tech go, Eww, gross! And the music ceases, and it becomes completely visible. And then Tech goes, Ving, kill it! Oh my god. Yeah, Ving, uh, there's a giant snake on Tuck. Tech's rolling around. Yeah. Ving and Billy, you see this giant snake. Uh. I lunge at it and try to just, uh, take hold of its head and peel it off of Tuck. Okay, yeah, 2d6 plus strength, I think that would be. Like, it defy danger basically. Okay. Uh, ten. Ten, okay, yeah, you get it around like the jaws.

Yeah. You pry its mouth off Tuck's shoulder, and you're holding it as its tail starts to wrap around Tuck. Billy, your dads are both now holding this giant snake. Um, yeah. You see your dads locked in a wrestling match with this giant, thick snake. I don't know if I should be around for this. Don't leave us alone! I'm so torn. Uh, I guess I just stab? I don't know, hack and slash? Yeah, you can hack and slash, 2d6 plus strength. It's like immobilized, so you can get a, you can get a shot on it.

I don't wanna kill it, I feel bad for it. No, it sucks. I guess it's evil. It's evil! It's evil. And Tuck screams, it's racist, Billy! It's racist, Billy! Okay, so hack and slash is what is 2d6 plus strength. Strength? Seven. Uh, so you roll your damage. Oh. Five. Five. And then you roll a d10, Billy. For myself? For yourself, cause you got a seven to nine on hack and slash. Why so high? Because that's what we're dealing with. Oh shit. Ten? How much hit points do you have right now?

Twenty-one, I'm fine. Okay. Any armor? None. None. How does Billy attack it? You just run up and stab it? Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing. Like, I've never seen such a large animal. Mm-hmm. Not true. Francis is huge. You've seen dragons. You've seen such big animals. But in Billy's head he's saying, I've never seen such a huge animal. Yeah. Cause he's so afraid. Yeah. And he, uh… You look at us and we're like, stab it in the face, Billy. I go, okay.

And so I walk right up to it and I stick, I stab it. I'm trying to aim for its, like, inside its mouth, but I hit under its chin and as I do that, I don't know, it's like a thing goes into my arm cause I'm right there. And then I pull it out really fast. But I'm dragging my whole arm down the thing. Oh my god. And so now I've got this big gash in my arm. I go, AAAAAAAAHHHHH! Billy! And you're like, oh fuck! And you start bleeding. No, I'm so sure my blood is coming out.

And then your hand starts to feel numb. And then your forearm starts to feel numb. Oh my gosh. It bit off my arm. It ate my arm! It ate it! My arm's in its tummy right now. Tuck grabs the top of Billy's arm to, like, keep the vet from moving any further. Oh yeah. 2d6 plus wisdom, I guess. Motherfuck. See if that would work. You're basically making yourself a tourniquet. Uh, yeah, nine. Great, so you- I ate. Okay, good call. Billy, calm down. Just breathe.

I know it's hard to calm down when I'm saying calm down. He fainted. I got, yeah, ten. Okay, great. So, uh, basically like, Tuck takes one arm off of the snake to grab Billy's arm to kind of make a tourniquet with his fist. With his, just, fingers. Trying to be as gentle as possible. Yeah. So you stop the venom from moving. Yeah. But the snake starts to, like, buck against you. And then Ving just gets a firmer hold on it and stops it from getting away. But you're holding Billy who's passed out.

Yeah. The snake is wrapped around you, and you're, like, holding it with your thighs. And we're like, can somebody fucking kill this thing? What are you- What the fuck are you doing, Ben? It's hard to get a shot when all of you are on it. Billy wakes up, he goes, and then he stabs again. Okay. That's great because you're being, like, you're hung over it by Tuck basically. Yeah. Yeah. Seven plus strength, you said? Yeah. Seven. Okay. Oh, wait, Billy deals an extra D6 because of his winter form.

I fucking do! Oh, yes, you do! We forgot that. Yeah, so we'll do that now. Roll two extra D6s now. Yeah. Oh, wait, don't just listen to him. I am listening to him. I got seven. Seven. So you rolled a D6, you rolled a D6. And you need one more D6 to make it fair. To make up. To make it fair. Plus five, so- Yeah, this thing's dead if you want it to be dead. I make it dead. Yeah. Yeah. So you're, like, hung over it like a claw machine. Yeah.

And you just- When I wake up, my pupils widen all the way, and I get it right into its brain. And you, uh, you feel the, like, death throes of this giant snake as it sort of coils and uncoils and then drops to the ground. That's what you deserve for eating my arm. It's music silenced forever. And then it pukes all over Tuck. There's just, like, yeah, stuff just comes out of it. And it's dead.

And the Harriers who have been trying to get a shot this whole time are just, like, wow, amazed at your combat prowess. I rushed to Billy and put a poultice on his arm. Yeah, great. This is the kind of, like, injury that you get from, like, a broken slide at a swimming pool. You don't know where a slide is, like, kind of jagged at the bottom. Yeah. And in the 90s it was just, like, just try and miss that. Yeah, just… Yeah, don't not slide. Don't hit that part.

But every once in a while it would just be, like, fwoom! Oh my god. And it would just, like, cut all the way down your leg. Ugh. What's that? Billy's kind of embarrassed now. He's like, oh, I guess it wasn't that big a deal. I didn't, I didn't feel it really, so I didn't cry or anything. His eye, his face is so splotchy. I didn't cry. You didn't cry at all, actually. You were crying in your past, Ed. One thing I know for sure is how little I cried.

And, I mean, by way of adventure information, there's this big old snake with light-warping scales and paralytic venom lying on the ground. Yeah, might take a bunch of the venom. Yeah, you just, like, milk it out of the fangs. Gross. Or you grab, like, the gland, just like, cut that out. Can I fill… I have a pewter cup. Can I fill it with some of the scales? Yeah, absolutely. You can yank some scales off. And one of the Harriers comes up, looks like she was maybe a hunter before the war.

She's just like, oh, it's a good kill. Can you skin it for us? I was going to for myself. Okay. Can I have some of it? I suppose. Okay. Whoa, we, like, killed it. We killed it. You didn't fucking help at all. You were just gonna leave it here on K. If I didn't do anything, you were just gonna leave the scales. No, we weren't. You were gonna leave the hide and you know it. Please make me boots. Fine. She starts… She just, like, um…

Have you guys ever seen, like, a snake get skin where they just kind of, like, slice it down and then you just pull it off? She does that, but with, like, a ten-foot-long snake. Just yanks this big piece of scale off of it. She rolls up this hide, this snake skin, and tucks it into her bag. Is there any part of it that has… That contains the music? Is there a gland or is there an area? Amygdala? You know what? 2d6 plus intelligence, two spout.

What if it's got, like, weird vocal chords all down? Oh, cool. I like that. Between two bones? I got ten. Interesting and useful. You guys just tell me how it works. Yeah, it's those vocal chords, like, in different thicknesses, like a violin. Oh, if you pull it out, you know those, like, electric violins that have no body? It looks like one of those. That'd be cool if it was, like, this, like, weird bone shape like that and then inside were all the, like, tendons. Yeah.

There is a bone with cords many different kinds of vocal chords strung between it. Yeah. And that is how they make their music. Great. I wanna extrude that. Yeah, you can pull it out. It takes some doing. And now it's just a big piece of meat. The scales are gone. The venom's gone. Well, I mean, we might as well use this whole thing. Cook it up. The Harriers nod and agree. Like, they start cutting the meat off it and… Put it on a spit. And now you have, like, food for a while.

You've got fresh meat. Fresh snake meat. And a weird bone violin made of snake cords. Weird. Pan is, like, invasive. These creatures are invasive and dangerous. Thank you for doing your part. And also, if there is one in these woods, there are more, so we should perhaps continue. Keep your ears open. Keep your hearts strong. And he disappears into the trees. And, uh, you continue on your way. Yeah, we start running again. Yep. And you're following…

At this point you realize, like, the way the Harriers are going is matching up with the footprints that M4 has left behind. Mm-hmm. Perfect. Which means maybe you'll catch up. Which means, roll me some dice. I wanna see if you catch up. Just 2d6? Yeah, 2d6 plus… All of us? I guess Constitution to keep up. Okay. Yeah. It's going slower. Um, 11. Ooh. 11. 10. Okay. Fuck yeah.

You hustle on through the trees, following these footprints, and eventually you start to hear, like, a thump, thump, thump. Like, feel the reverberations through the ground. Mm. And ahead, you see M4. Like, creeping, basically, through the trees. He's started to slow down quite a lot. Mm. And he's being very careful. You can see him, like, inching around trees, trying to gently move some of them aside, and, like, cracking their roots out of the ground. Mm-hmm. But then putting them back, and…

Putting them back? He's, like, trying to straighten them. Oh. As he moves through. What? Um, but there he is. That's cute. And the Harriers back off. Yeah. Just keep your distance. He knows the dress of the enemy. We'll let you handle this. Um, yeah. I kinda wanna put some Hibernio water in and see what it does. Oh, cool. Interesting. Like, into his boiler? Very interesting. Yeah, when it's, like, like, imbued with spirit energy. Yeah. To awaken its inner spirit. Mm-hmm.

That's a very interesting idea. Or, like, coalesce the spirits that are within it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I wonder if that would work. That's very smart. Mm-hmm. But you'd have to get close to it first. Okay. Alright, and you start, um, I imagine, like, it's quite dark. In this part of the wood. The canopy is thick. The trees are varying in their closeness, so it's, uh, it's not the most open place in the world, but he's reached a spot where there's, like, a large rock jutting up out of the ground.

Mm. And it looks like you can see, like, poof, poof, poof, like, irregular puffs of steam. Mm. And he almost puts, he, like, rests his hammer against the cliff. Mm. Like, he's leaning against it. Mm. He's tired? Like, it looks like he's, he looks like an old man going, like, oh, boy. Aw. So, there's quite a lot of stairs at this, uh, outback steakhouse. Mm-hmm. Um, so it's leaning, it's resting. I, yeah, I wanna go up to him gently from the other side and let him know that a mechanic is coming.

Oh, so you're trying to get in front of him and be like, hey, buddy. Yeah. Okay, that is probably a charisma, 2d6 plus charisma. Billy and Tuck, what do you, what is your approach? I'm gonna hang back, but be close. I'll hang back a little bit, same. Okay. Eight. Eight, seven to nine. You approach from the front, like, hands up, kind of. M4, stand down.

And its head spins to, like, the long distance lens and points right at you and it brings, like, its fist and its hammer up, but it doesn't attack. What do I hear inside? It is scared, it will strike, is what your, what is imparted to you. Hmm. Basically, back off. I won't come any closer. It requires fuel. I do not have fuel, but I have something else. M4 imparts to you, it will help. Thing says it, I think it could. Okay, 2d6 plus charisma again. This is like a parlay, maybe. What'd you get?

Ten. Oh! Nice. Very nice. And seeing that you are a mechanic and you are offering maintenance, basically, M4 stands down. Like, it sort of straightens up and you hear hissing as pistons, like, bring the arms in, like, collapse the forearms a little bit and its torso compacts and it kind of hunches over. Makes, like, a ladder with his arms. Yeah, exactly. And, like, a hatch pops open on the back. Okay. Yeah. Take it easy, I don't know what this is gonna do.

I go up and I, there's a part of the boiler, I'm gonna replace the water with a jar of hibernia water. Okay. I think this might also be, this is like a defy danger wisdom. Like, is this a good idea kind of roll? But I, I'm very curious. Uh-oh. Okay, ten. Oh, okay. Then, the question that I have is, like, what is the hibernian water doing to the spirits that are captured in the construction of this mech? They are decoding the learned part of the mech. Mm-hmm.

They're allowing the natural elements to speak together. They're amplifying the song that is the elements. Yeah. And they're, the coding of the machine is being dampened. So the spirits are basically taking control of M4. Mm-hmm. Cool. So you pour this water into the boiler and it works its way into the systems of the warmac. You close the hatch and M4 reactivates. The, the pistons start going, the boiler starts pumping away, and, uh, he begins to stand.

Its arms unfold, its torso extends, it stands up, and then it rolls its shoulders. Mm. That's cool. And kind of, like, tips to one side. And then M4 says, thank you. And that's where we're gonna end it for this week. I've been your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdulaziz. It's so sick. I'm, I'm so sick. I'm so happy we have an Iron Giant now. I love him. Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Take care.

Playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone! Thank you to Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music. I really recommend you check out Aaron's original music at aaronreid.bandcamp.com and also check out all the music produced for the show on Spotify. Thank you to all of our Susporters around the world. Without you, we simply would not be able to do this show.

Uh, if you want a Susport, and in return get access to a bunch of cool bonus content, like an up-to-date Mall Brats feed, merch, writing, gift boxes, games run by Abdul and myself, live streams, and more, check us out at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. And if you like speltlore, you should check out the public release of our other show, Mall Brats. That's available on Spotify, iTunes, wherever you get your podcasts.

And if you like either show, please leave us a review. Reviews mean a lot to us, and mean a lot to people finding the show. And if you leave a review for the show, maybe we'll read it on air. Like this review from Aces and Cats, Beautiful and Perfect. Extremely well-built story with lots of fun shenanigans. Brought to life by a very talented cast of comedians and storytellers. So glad the world gets to enjoy it. Thank you so much. Uh, there's a review from Rita Human, uh, of Mall Brats.

Where have these adorable gremlin kids been all my life? I love them all so much already. I would've put them in my pocket, and peek in on their antics whenever I need to cheer myself up. Thank you, Rita. We got any other reviews? Uh, this one says, My favorite podcast ever. I always know that I'm going to have fun when listening to Spout Lore. Humorous and heartfelt, this show is an epic journey of three friends. And Sean. Wow! Thank you so much. Holy shit. That was hilarious. What a gift.

Hair perp. Yeah. Thanks, perp. Thank you so much. See you later, everybody. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye.

Now the round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your host, Spout, and I'm your host, Spout. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello everybody! Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Hello Sean! And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Hello everyone! I've never been directly said hello to in the opening sequence. That really threw me off. I made eye contact. I don't exist as an individual in this place, I am the narrator.

You only exist to facilitate the rules. I agree. Only. When last we left our heroes, they were in the middle of an infiltration into the security hotel suites of mayoral candidate Etienne Boggins. The plan kind of started falling apart as someone arrived at the door. Thandie, the kind of kidnapped, sort of coerced security hiree, was quickly inducted into the skullduggery as he became part of a plan to make it seem like he'd had a big shit. That he was taking a shit. There was a lot of farting.

It was a pretty par for the course spoutlore situation, really. It harkened back to the first season. It sure did. And the second season and third and every season of the show. Parts of the fourth, yeah. Yeah. And at the door, mayor Etienne Boggins himself. Thandie was able to throw off suspicion, mostly due to the power of the farts emerging from the bathroom. Jesus Christ. And danger was avoided. You are so mad. I, it's just, I want to. You are so mad. I want to. I want to. I want to.

I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. Jesus Christ. And danger was, danger was avoided. You are so mad. I, it's just, I want to. You are so mad at us. Sometimes I want us to broaden our comedic horizons and sometimes I have to allow a fart joke to happen, but it was a good fart joke. It was hilarious. I think the tapes will show that I had a good time. And then afterwards I punched a couch cushion over and over and over.

Thandie revealed that he had been hired for the security gig. By an individual known as the Kestrel, and the party asked, in exchange for a bucket of donuts, if he could set up a meeting between them and the Kestrel, which he did, taking place in the High Spear Mall, returning after many seasons and many years to that beautiful, magical, terrible, post-apocalyptic shopping center. The party prepared for their meeting by going on a shopping spree, as they always do.

They hit up Sages, run by Sage and Sage. They both look like one half of Gwyneth Paltrow. Whoa. Yeah, exactly. Bottom or top? Always bottom. You went vertical? Ving bamboozled them and me into giving him, like, 50 uses of poultice and herbs. I think it was 10. Yeah, guys, don't worry about anything from here on in. Yeah, look. Yeah. In a bunch. In a bunch of fights. Yeah. I want to get in a street fight. You were in a mall fight. Yeah.

And then moments later, Billy was, in fact, in a street fight as the World of Blades and House of Knives were feuding in an attempt to drum up business. Then Tuck hit up Short and McWides as he realized that he never picked up the loot he dropped off for repair several years ago. And while the guy went into the back to get the loot, Tuck shoveled a bunch of music bottles into his backpack. Oh, right. I should write that down in my inventory. Yeah, you have, like, at least, I'd say, a dozen.

Okay. Holy moly. They're music bottles. They're singles? Well, I mean, it's a tiny backpack. Music? Testers? The test… Oh, they're like hit clips. You guys remember hit clips? Oh, yeah. Where it has, like, one song on a piece of plastic? Yeah. What if they came in, like, cases, you know? Oh, like a six pack? Yeah. That's how an album comes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a compilation. It's like big, shiny tunes. Yeah. It's a bunch of songs in one, like, six pack. Six pack case. I like that.

Of the same genre. Big shiny tunes for our American listeners. Look it up. I'm pretty sure they know. It's not my job to educate you about Canadian culture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look it up. Look it up. In fact, only look up big shiny tunes two. Yeah, don't look up the modern ones. That's for sure. Tuck did not pay for any of that stuff. The guy's only defense was going, no, wait. And Tuck just walked out. Well, it's too much money. Yeah. What was it? Something like 200 coins or something like that?

Yeah. It was more than 200 coins. That's wild. They had to repair a shattered loot. Yeah. And then they had to store it for two years. So that's like a year's salary. Yeah. It doesn't mean we have to pay them that. It's not my fault you guys are poor. Yeah. Whoa. That's not our fault either. Are you blaming us right now? That's 20 weeks worth of wages. You guys are so- We've never had a job. You're literally freelancers. You have money all the time. Yeah.

You're like, I can't believe you spent 200 coins on a scarf. That's true. And then I get in trouble for him. Well, we can't. He's too big. That's true. The party headed to Big Boys Donuts, a upscale donut restaurant, to meet the Kestrel for their meeting. And as they sat in their private upstairs booth, Etienne Boggins himself arrived and then immediately revealed himself to be Colonel Dan Der Glott. Classic. Love him. Love that guy. Disguise. Yeah.

It turns out that he has been borrowed from Maggie Cole to another group of menders, which have been attempting to get Dan slash Etienne elected using the story of Etienne Boggins as the quote unquote savior of Mudlark in order to get a more direct line to the princeps and the ruling powers of the High Spirit Principality. Mm-hmm . For what reason, we do not know. Dan also got into his backstory a little bit to sort of- To sort of clear the air.

He was a Kestrel, a sort of special forces operator in the Great Forest military or in the Ranger Corps. He also revealed to you that it was Etienne Boggins that put that elf's bane in his schloss meat all those many years ago, clearing up one of the first unsolved mysteries of the Spout Lore universe. Maybe the only unsolved mystery that was left. Listeners, you let us know. How many threads have I forgotten? The answer is none. My mind is a steel trap.

The labyrinth within which the Minotaur dwells is impenetrable. And the Minotaur is lost. The Minotaur is 88. Guys, guys please. I have no bars. Can someone tell me how to get out of here? He's on his phone. Yeah. My phone's about to die. My phone's at like 2%. Somebody get me out of here. You parted on the terms magically enforced by Billy's fairy oath that you were a man. You were a man. You were a man. You were a man. You were a man. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman.

There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman.

Unless you guys want to stick around in the mall, I imagine we can cut forward to Thandie's room, sneak back in. You got his big bucket of donuts that you promised. I like to think that we dropped off the donuts, but knocked on the door, and then he was like, wow. Wow, big old bucket of fresh baked donuts for me. Yeah, cuts to us. We're listening around the corner to him being excited about it. Oh, my God. There they are. Big bucket of fresh donuts just for Thandie.

Ving's arranged it as an edible arrangement, so they're like a big bucket of flour. Oh, so beautiful. It's not just the donuts. It's the presentation that I love. And then from where you're standing, you see the window open, and he's just leaning on the windowsill. He's got a donut in his hand. Oh, nice. He slowly brings it up. He takes the tiniest little bite. He savors it. He looks out at the city. A single tear rolls down his cheek.

Thandie, now that we're alone with just the donuts, I think that I can tell you about all the things I've been thinking. Just. For my days as a raggle muffin on the corridors of the High Spur Mall. Now here, eating this donut. It was a tasty road. Things really came full circle. Like this bucket of donuts. The donut represents all the full circles in my life. And now looking at the city skyline, I know there are good things in the future for you, Thandie.

The hole represents the time I didn't have any donuts. But the donut represents the time I did have donuts. Now I can kill Fenton Beasley. Should we go back, hook up with Morris and Perel? See if they found anything out. Yeah. See what they found out about the tower. They got a room at the Spearmint B&B. Oh, they're in the same. So you guys were in the Spearmint B&B. Yeah, we just went down one floor. Yeah. So you knock on the door and Morris and Perel are there. They're in bathrobes full on.

They hit the robes up right away. And Perel has a towel around his head as well. He's drinking pineapple juice. You don't have any hair, Perel. What's a towel for? I like the way the towel feels on my head. It's a warm, hot, wet towel. You know, Billy, one day when you don't have any hair, you'll know. What? I'm never going to lose my hair. What are you talking about? Oh, we'll see about that. And it skips a generation. So if genetics are any indication. Oh my gosh.

Billy's never thought of this. Oh no. Perel made me bald. I'm going to be bald like Perel. It's my nightmare. Oh my God. Two of my dads are bald. Yeah. I look at Tuck and I'm like, uh oh. I look at Bing like, it might be coming. He's just trying to get sticks out of his hair. He's trying to remember where Bing's hairline was when you met him. Yeah. And where it is now. Yeah. So Morris and Perel are here. Victor is also in a bathrobe because he is still in his illusory form. Oh, right. Yeah.

He's sitting like very wide stanced on a chair, staring at the door. Enter. Close the door. The city is full of dangers. I close the door. And he just nods and continues to stare at the door. And Morris and Perel are sitting on the bed drinking their pineapple smoothies. And yeah, they're just like, so what did you learn? We tell him about the mystery that we solved. Oh. About Etienne Boggins. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Great. So that's out of our hair, I guess, so to speak. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Dan's not going to fuck with us. Just to be clear, we're going to let this mysterious mender group just get a puppet mayor installed. Yeah. I don't care. All right. Cool. I trust the menders, mostly. You trust the people that wanted to imprison me for eternity? Yeah, dude. Mostly. You were a piece of shit when we met. Whoa. Okay. That's true. That's true. You're right. I was, actually. No, that's fine. That's fine. I was absolutely evil at that point. Yeah. So what now? I don't know.

There's kind of like two main avenues that you all can take. You either come with Morris and me to the High Spear, and we can start uncovering what we need to get started on our project, which will, again, potentially take several months, like the actual work of doing whatever we need to do. Yeah. Or you can go and try and take out the Blackhammer twins, which was what Dathaniel suggested as being a good way to halt the Gibbous Man's plans. Right. I do want to kill Colm Blackhammer. Yeah.

Because he stabbed the fuck out of Billy. Oof. That did hurt pretty bad. Yeah. How are you feeling, Billy? I feel okay. You know, I can just tell that so much of me was stabbed. Yeah, Billy, you weren't like magically healed or anything either, so you've got like a healing wound. Yeah. Yeah. It feels like… Just stuff is loose in there. It's getting better. Uh-huh. We keep actively having to stop him from picking at his scab. Ew. I would never do that.

There's a scene with a cone around Billy's head. The poultice has molasses in it, Billy. I know. That's right. That's why you had to wear the cone. It's hard to resist. Uh-huh. All right. Do I want to go to war, or do I want to look at books? Yeah. You can always try and link up with the actual war effort. You could sign on as mercenaries. Mm. I feel like given that the Gibbous Man is coming for us now, like after you fought him, it might be a good idea to stay moving for a bit. That's true.

I don't want to draw him here while you guys are here. Yeah. I don't want you to do that either. You know what we should keep in mind, given what we learned about him, is that we might want to be on the lookout for something that can hurt him. Given that he's corporeal, that's not a problem we have to solve right now, but if you guys figure that out, and I point at Perel, I'm like, if you guys ever come across anything that you think could hurt the Gibbous Man, let us know. Okay. Yeah.

We've got our room keys for Hither and Yon, so we can just deliver it to Mirrors. Ask Chimes. If we see Chimes, we'll ask him about it. Yeah. Same. If you see Chimes, ask him about it. Okay. Is there anything you want us to ask Chimes for you? Just like what his kind of like day-to-day regimen looks like, because he's over 2,000 years old, and he's looking ripped. He looks like a bag of ropes. And he still got all his hair, too. Well, most of his hair. And I, you know. Go on.

You got very sensitive about your bald head ever since Billy made fun of you that one time. I didn't really mean it. I'm so sorry, Perel. It's fine. I'm not even worried about it. I'm a transmutation wizard. If I wanted hair, I could grow it. I thinks it's sexy. I like it. You're like a sexy cantaloupe. You're like an egg that I can fuck. Which has always been my dream. Donkey. All right. So you're going to go stay on the move. Yeah.

And I think if we're going to try and get to the war front, it makes sense to see if Mirrors could use Hither and Yon to get us there. Yep. We know nothing of Callum. We need to understand what his part is in all this. I do like the idea of us going behind the enemy lines and pretending to be soldiers. I do love that. Like join the Blackfield Principality. Oh. Yeah. Firefields. Yeah. Principality. Blackfield is that music festival. I was telling you. Firefield. Yeah. There we go. Sorry.

The Firefields Principality. Yeah. Oh, and be spies. We're going to be spies. I think we might be spies. Pretty soon. Yeah. I think we might be spying on some people. Oh my God. Uh-oh. We accidentally spied on you. We just outsmarted the best spy we've ever met, too. That's true. Did it do a lot? Yeah. Yeah. Did not expect it. Yeah. Okay, cool. Then we'll, Morris and I will head out in, I mean today, head off for the High Spear. We got a bit of a hike ahead of us. Okay.

And we'll head back to Hither and Yon. What do you wish me to do? I wish you to hug me, Victor. And he gets up and he hugs you. Yeah. And you feel, though it looks to everyone- His little dog paws. Yeah. You feel like it looks like a man is crouching down to hug you. You feel dog paws on your arms. He's doing that thing that huskies do where like they- Oh, I love you. I love you. He says, I love you. I love you. I love you, Victor. Be a good boy without me.

Do you wish me to stay and watch over the two pathetic old men? I think that's for the best. That's smart. I will do this thing. Very soon, I believe I will look like a big wolf again, but I think that will be okay. I think tomorrow you'll look like a big wolf. It only lasts a day. It only lasts a day. I have one half day left to be a man. I will make the best use of it. Enjoy the thumbs you have now. Cuts to him on a Ferris wheel with a cotton candy. Hooray!

And then him using a fork and knife for his dinner. Oh, wow. Look at these. He's just like… Everybody he meets, he's just thumbs up. Way to go, everyone. Your patheticness is not holding you down. And then at the Italian restaurant he's at, he looks across the way and he sees a woman who makes eye contact with him and then it turns all pink haze. Dream weaver. And then it's like a series of cuts of them.

Like he's picking her a rose out of a garden, but he's like digging it out of there and handing it to her. In his mouth. And they dance in the middle of the restaurant. Like, cause there's… Yeah. There's like, you know, live music. And he's got the rose between his teeth. Such wooden, awkward, white stance dancing. Yeah. Yeah. They go on a moonlit walk at night. She says, do you want to go for a walk? Oh boy! Walk! Holy moly! She throws a stick. He runs after it. Yeah.

And then at the stroke of midnight… You see her bending down and picking up a pile of shit. Yeah. And she looks up and there's a dog. Yeah. It's a wolf. A giant wolf. And she screams. Yeah. No, she makes eye contact. She knows. She knows. It's him. And she lets him lope off into the sunset. Single tear. Single tear. Lands on the rose that he gave her. Oh, drips down the rose. It looks like the rose is crying. Tears of a rose. Tears of a rose once again.

That's the song that's playing as he runs off into the night. The tears of the rose, they fall. And there's like, she's like on a bridge, like looking into the water. So sad that she lost what might've been the love of her life. And then a rose petal falls into the water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it drifts down the river. And down the river, there's a big tongue as Victor's drinking out of the water. And back on the bridge, there's another woman.

It's like, did you fall in love with a wolf tonight too? Highspear's a crazy city. Highspear, baby. And then they lock eyes. And it's a big crazy weaver. And they're dancing on the bridge together. They chant each other the roses. These two people are locked in an infinite loop of lost love. Love. Rose cross lovers. Oh, that's amazing. And then Victor's back in the Spearmint B&B with Morrison Farrell putting their backpacks on. Yeah. And you three head back to Hither and Yon. Yes.

That's the plan? Yeah. All right. It's right where you left it. The nice wrought iron and wood sign that Hither and Yon manifested when it appeared here. The mayor fair is still crackling away. There's food booths and games. All of the various mayoral candidates are screaming at each other. A couple of them are fighting in the street. Whoa. Yeah. It's just how you determine who gets to still be running for mayor. Dan is one of the people in the fight. Yeah.

And he looks like you're seeing Etienne Boggins like fighting somebody in the road. And he's like flopping around like a loser. But the three of you see like Dan throws in some surreptitious moves. Sick. And just takes down his opponent. He's like, wow, I suppose that means that I continue to run. What a nice surprise. And now I will get on the prize hog to indicate that I won that. And he starts riding a little pig around the square. What a lovely culture we have. He's a top hat.

He's like the mayors of New York. Everyone's like applauding and throwing handkerchiefs in the air. Confetti. He's waving from atop his pig. Mayors is like watching from the front door of Hither and Yon. He's like, what the fuck? I hate this town. So wasteful. And the mayor of my town briefly was a pig. The mayor of your town briefly was this guy. Was this pig? No. Oh, and? That guy. Oh, wow. Wow. I actually hate my town, too. Well, and he like walks back into Hither and Yon. Yeah.

There's like an old man who's been sitting in the pub for a day and a half. Yeah. Just absolutely wasted. He's like teetering on the stool. Yeah. And that was the fourth pair of boots I made. The fifth pair of boots were actually a gift from my brother. And it turns out they'd be the boots that killed him. The sixth pair of boots I made. And he's like, uh-huh. And he just comes back and like takes the mug out of his hand. He's like, uh-huh. Uh-huh.

And he just puts a glass of water on the table in front of the guy. Do you want me to get rid of that guy? No, he's pretty harmless. I am a professional bouncer. And I show him my certificate. Your bouncer's union card. You did laminate it. I did laminate it. Nice. Yeah. The picture is just Tuck doing like the pussy eating thing. Oh, yeah. And then the picture on the back is him suplexing someone who got too rowdy at a Buffalo Wild It's like a, what do you call it? Like holographic. Oh, yeah.

It's like him. Zip, zip. It's an animation, a two-frame animation of Tuck suplexing a guy through a table. This is my license and my resume. Yeah. Yeah. It's also a trading card in McCall. It's worth something. Anyways, you want me to ditch his old cobbler? I can suplex him like this. I don't think that'll be necessary. He's just going to sober up a little bit. So I'm getting the vibe you guys are heading out. Yeah, because I'm wearing my boots. I'm wearing my backpack and all my stuff.

Billy's got a big hat and a walking stick and sunglasses on. I'm crying, of course. I mean, you guys have your room keys. I know. It's just a different feeling. It's just a different feeling when you know that you have to spend all day outside. There is a thing where it's like when you leave the front door, because this happened also when Morris and Perel left, where they were like, I guess this is goodbye. Yeah. It always feels like, because you don't know. It's a magical thing.

But it is like, I think there's something about the bar. That makes it feel like it's the final scene of like a really long running sitcom. Yeah. Where Mr. Feeny looks at the empty classroom or whatever. Yeah. And goes, class over. Yeah. I love you all. Oh. So, okay. So your plan is to get behind enemy lines and join the Firefields Principality Army? Yeah. Yeah. And if Mears could take us there with Hither and Yon. Oh, yeah. You guys had talked about rolling for it.

Yeah, we did talk about rolling for it. Like, because. Hither and Yon has its own mind about where it goes or stays. Yeah, totally. So we could try rolling for it. Yeah. Because it takes so much intention, right? To go to the right place. And right now we're a little bit scattered. So I like the idea of leaving it up to the die to see what it thinks. Yeah, totally. I think Hither and Yon will have its own like door mechanic where you roll.

I want to say probably charisma to try and like convince Hither and Yon to take you where you want to go. 10 plus. It takes you where you need to be. Mm hmm. Seven to nine. You're close, but not quite. And six plus. You are in danger in some way. Okay. End up somewhere that's not good. Are we like all rolling together? I think it's whoever's opening the door. Like, I think it is a single role to determine.

Billy is like still like he's trying to be brave, but he's actually pretty scared to go back because his knife wound is very fresh. Yeah. So he's kind of clinging on to Mears like, I really miss you. Yeah, I'll miss you too, Billy. But you can come back. Literally. Anytime you find a door. Okay. Yeah. I'm just going to hold on a little longer. Okay. That's fine. We didn't see you for so long. And now you're back and it's just really hard to leave again.

And I mean, who knows what's going to happen? And it's a magical bar and it's the nostalgia field. It's it's this happens to everybody that spends time in Hither and Yon. It's like a winter morning and you're trying to get out of your bed, but so cozy. You really don't want to. Yeah, it's it is a it is a bar that is. It's metaphysically comforting to people. It rejuvenates your spirit. It makes sense that it feels bad to leave, but you can come back anytime. Just hold on to your room keys.

I lost my key. You lost. What do you mean you lost your key? No, it's in one of these flaps. I don't know. You got to check. You cut back to Tuck, who is unaffected by the nostalgia field. He's just eating a giant kielbasa in the kitchen. And he's like, fucking thing. Forgets his key everywhere. He picks up. Picks it up. Yeah, Tuck just leaves. He's just going in and out of the door, going out, checking out the fair. Yeah. And the seventh pair of boots I made. You're never going to believe this.

It was actually the second pair of boots I made. Whoa. How did that happen? They came back to me like every good pair of boots does. Cool. And the camera shifts to a wide and Tuck is just dragging the table. Out the front door. That's awesome, dude. That's so cool. Is the dude just like seated at the table? Yeah. Yeah. He's seated as if nothing is changing. And then he's just outside. Yeah. And the eighth pair of boots. Eighth pair of boots I made. Now there's like a chicken on the table.

It's just pecking at his plate of bread. You're going to love this. It's a nice pair of boots. I have yet to make. Ooh, where am I? Click. Click. And then all the shutters slam. Yeah. And Mears comes back from the cellar. Oh, that guy just left on his own. Stole your table too. Piece of shit. Oh. Okay. That's weird. I bolted it down. It's just holes in the floor where it got ripped out. The floorboards are broken. Still attached to the table. Mears just sighs, rolls his eyes. All right.

Well, it seems like Hither and Yon has decided it's time to go. Where to now? Who's? The scary place. So we want to go behind enemy lines. We got to figure out who's going to roll this. Tuck tells you guys, the thing I want more than anything is to kill Cole and Black Hammer. Yes. So if I open the door, that's going to be where we go. Okay. Or maybe it'll take us to Allison. What I want most is to kill that guy. And to see Allison. And then I smell her scarf. Yeah, Cole.

Oh, no, don't do it like that. You're going to cross your wires. You're going to try to fuck Cole and Black Hammer. Dream weaver. Wait, no, hold on. Focus up. Yeah, I think you should roll in that case because you want it really bad. But are we trying to get to Callum, though? We're trying to find out more about him. A thing to remember, Sean O'Hara, you're speaking. Last time you fought Cole and Black Hammer. He beat the brakes off you guys. Tuts. You could always, you're kind of healed up.

You could always try and ambush him. I feel like if I was you three, I would maybe want to be a little prepared to do so. So maybe I shouldn't be the one that opens the door because it'll and Tuck is speaking totally truthfully to you guys right now. It will either take us to Cole or Allison. I have not jerked off in a long time. I guess we've been sharing a room. Yeah, we can't. Okay. Well, if I open the door, it's going to go to a bowl of soup or. Bowl of soup. I think that's about it.

All right. If I open the door, I'll probably go back to that bathroom that I've been using to jerk off in where I lost my key. You dropped it in the toilet. Let's roll to see who rolls. Oh. Yeah. I like that. Who can focus their minds enough. Okay. Multiple. So one or two. It's you, Jess. One or two. One or two is you. Oh, we're rolling to see who one person rolls. Three or four, five or six. Okay. One. So you got it. Okay. I got to it. Okay. So to be. Okay. So just so I understand. Yeah.

Are you guys trying to get to like Black Glass to sign up? To the fire field? Yeah. Because that was your plan was like initially your plan was BW. Yeah. To get double agents. In our minds. To get close to Cal and Black Hammer. Yes. I mean, that's a good option for sure. Mm-hmm. That's what I want to do. Yeah. Yeah. We can do that. I want to get into that army. I thought we were like going to like wherever they live. I'm a little worried that they'll know who we are. Yeah.

Because of the battle and we fought him and everything. I think we need to go somewhere sneakier first to see how we can become double agents way off the line. Okay. Like way on the back back line. Yeah. Like the city, like where the battles are being planned. Yeah. The high command. Yeah. Oh, so we go to Black Glass. Black Glass is the capital of the Firefields Principality. I was thinking like the High Command is maybe a tent or like, you know, there's like a base, an army base somewhere.

There's probably a fort or a camp out there somewhere. So the goal is to get to High Command, sneak in, and observe how Callum is running the operation. Yes, and we could sneak in as recruits. Yes, and we're trying to figure out what the fuck he knows about that gibbous man. How much they're working for him or how he's pulling their strings. So you're trying to get close to Callum Blackhammer. Yes. Whatever way possible. That's what Billy thinks. So he puts the bowl of soup out of his mind.

He pushes it aside like he's full, but he's not. Yeah, he pushes it in front of Callum Blackhammer. I see Callum Blackhammer's face, whatever he looks like, and I'm like… You're just imagining Colm Blackhammer, but like a nerd. And he takes a spoon and takes some of your soup. Yeah, I'm just like… I'm gonna fight you. Alright, so we're rolling 2d6 plus charisma. Sure, yeah. To try and convince Heather and Yon to take you where you gotta go. I'm gonna drink that soup. Plus charisma. My soup.

So one. Uh-oh. Holy shit. Five total. Oh no. So full failure. Do you have any child? Fairy child? I do. I have one left. I'll use it. I change it. I'll use it to a seven to nine with my fairy child. Yeah. So you're getting close, but not quite. Hmm. What if it… What if it, like, instead of opening up in, like, Blackglass or near where Callum Blackhammer would be, we would open up on the road to it. Okay.

I think, like, I like the idea that you open the door and it's literally, like, outside is moving. Like you're in a cart. That's a good idea. Open the back of a carriage. Of the Highspear Army. Or of the Blackglass Army. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of the Blackglass Army? Yeah, I like that. Because you're trying to get to the camp, right? So you're like, I want to go to where Callum Blackhammer is. And it was like, oh, Hither and Yon's like, good news. Other people are trying to get there, too.

Yeah. And it opens you up into the back of a carriage. You see people, like, you crack the door. Uh-huh. And there's, like, you see, like, a Mac, like a war Mac, like, walking. Boom. Boom. Boom. Whoa. Like mechanics hanging off of it. But it's also, like… Hanging off of it? How? Like, riding it. Like in a papoo? Papoose? Did you say papoose? You know how Billy climbed it? How there's, like, handholds and scaffolding and stuff? Like, there are guys, like, hanging onto those scaffolds.

There's one lazy mechanic. He's got a hammock tied to the chest of it. And it's got, like, supplies on it. Like, it's got crates and bags, like, lashed to it. That makes sense. Oh, yeah. He's a Mac Mule. Yeah, exactly. And it's wearing, like, a big tartan. Like, wrapped, like, down across the chest. And then it's got, like, a war kilt, like, around its waist. And it is… This one looks like it's been… No, I'm not gonna get too many into detail. Tell me. Tell us. Tell us. Tell us.

He's playing the bagpipes. I actually do think they have pipes on them that make noise, like, as they walk. Like the sound in War of the Worlds. That… Oh, yeah. Terrifying. That's so scary. Not to make them too Scottish, but I think there are ones that are basically pipers that make, like, bagpipe music to scare opponents. And it's so loud. It's deafening. What's that, like, Celtic, like, horn that's so scary? Oh, the Carnix horn? Yeah. The, like, horn? Yeah. Screaming one?

Like, making, like, that kind of sound. Yeah, totally. Oh, yeah. So then the mouths of the pipes look like… Some of them look like animal heads. Oh, yeah. That's cool. Oh, yeah. I also like that maybe they use the music to communicate and coordinate. Yes, absolutely. Different songs mean different things. That's cool. They're flanking right. I think the Macs also, like, talk to each other. Kind of like whale song. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, great. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool.

They have, like, rudimentary intelligence. They're basically animals. Yeah. So that's what you see when you open the door. And then there's, like, mechanics hanging off of it and foot soldiers. Like, a real ragtag group of people, because it looks like they maybe just joined. There's a horse that's black and evil-looking. Evil horse. And there's a really friendly dog that sees the door open and it smells the food and then starts, like, trying to get it. Maybe that's the seven to nine. Yeah.

Fully is that, like, you do see a dog that's just walking, like, notice you and start wagging its tail and, like, lift its nose. And then it starts trotting. Towards the back of the cart. What do you do? Get him in here. No, we gotta get out. We gotta go. What? They're gonna see us get out. Are they gonna see us get out? Yes. I mean, maybe, but you can… Roll for surroundings. Roll for being sneaky. What's it called? Observe surroundings? Observe surroundings? Observe surroundings?

I'd like to roll observe surroundings. What here can I see? What can I smell? What can I taste? I got twelve. Oh. Holy shit. So you get three questions off the certain realities list. I gave you so much with that Mac description because I got really excited. Yeah. Sick. So we know what we should be on the lookout for. What's about to happen?

What's about to happen is if that dog makes enough of a fuss about getting into the back of the cart, someone's gonna be like, ugh, and then open the door to let him in. Okay. Yeah. Because you hear somebody going like, Angus, what is it, Angus? What is it, boy? Are you hungry? You're a good dog. You're a good dog. You're not racist at all. And neither am I, but don't tell anyone that. Traditionally, most of this army is. It's in their fundamentals. What's valuable?

Hanging off a peg right next to the door are several, it looks like uniforms of some kind. Great. What here is not what it appears to be? You hear the like, what is it, Angus? You're a good boy, aren't you? You're not a racist at all. And then you're like, wait a second, I've think I fucking know that voice. And going to like, ruffle the head of this dog is Merbo. One of the brother mayors of Pinewood. Pinewood. Holy shit. Uh oh, he knows us. He also likes us. Let's put on these costumes.

So that's the question is like, what the fuck is he doing here? Well, it's in the fire fields, right? It's in the fire fields. They definitely just conscripted everyone that was fighting age. That's what these racist fucks would do. They would. They would draft people. Yeah. Okay, let's grab those uniforms. And try and sneak out. Because if Merbo sees us and he's not a bad guy right now, we put him at risk if he recognizes us. Yes, we do. And that dog. Yeah. That dog who is pure of heart.

So if anything happens to him, we're all gonna be so sad. Oh my god, the stakes just got so high. A pure of heart dog is on the… Angus? Oh, boy. Alright. Do we need a role to put on these costumes? Not to put on the costumes, but can we secretly grab them? Yeah, I'd say that you could grab them pretty. Pretty easily. They're right next to the door. Just youp. But to sort of put on the air of being fire fields recruits, you'd have to roll something for sure. Charisma. What are the costumes?

They're black. Like army uniform, but what kind of… I was imagining the fire fields military, their colors are probably black and red. Yeah, black and red. I think there's like leather, heavy… Boots. Heavy boots. Yeah. Are they… I was gonna say like heavy leather like armor. Yeah. Because like maybe the iron is reserved for higher standing people. Oh, that makes sense. That's really cool. Yeah. So yeah, what kind of uniforms do we think they are? Is it like mechanics uniforms?

Infantry uniforms? You hear Tuck zip his… He's got a gimp mask on. He's like, I don't know what this guy does. Just a giant beard stuffed inside of a leather mask. It's just all leather. That's all… When you said they were all leather, it's like this tight leather thing. No, just the top. Why is it regular clothes? Zippers over the nipples like this. My guy is just leather, guys. They're regular. There's a leash on that. He unzips the mouth. He's like, why is there so many zippers on there?

They're regular clothes. They're linen and leather. I mean, having like a gimp style mask for some sort of terrifying like berserker guy is so creepy and cool. Yeah, I bet the mechanics wear masks, but probably not zippy leather gimp masks. Probably just normal masks. Or if it's just like the executioner, even. You want to be wearing a gimp suit. I think it's kind of funny. I think it's cool and kind of funny. I don't have to if you guys hate it. I like it. I'm fine with it.

It's gross, but I hate it, but I'm fine with it. It's not going to affect me, but I hate it. There was a fucking gimp on YTV, okay? The Punisher? The Punisher. No, he was wearing like body armor. I'm dressed like the Punisher. He was wearing like little straps, too. He had a gimp mask. Did he? Pull it up. The Punisher. I don't know who you're talking about. I don't know this Punisher. It was a game show.

It was a Canadian children's game show where a gimp slimed children when they got trivia questions wrong. It was truly the best show I've ever seen. You can't say that on television. He 100% looks like a gimp for sure. He does. That's the Punisher. He's the best. It's called Uh-Oh. It's called Uh-Oh. Yeah, that's a gimp. That's a gimp. He looks like a mixture of gimp and venom. You know that some dads would watch. They'd watch this show and be like, What the fuck?

Golping whenever the Punisher comes on screen. And then sliming everyone. Jesus Christ. This is the part that's always so funny about disguises because we love disguises. That someone just had a seven foot tall, five foot wide, all leather outfit hanging on a peg. Oh, it was five feet tall, three feet wide. It's a crop top now. Yeah, it comes up to his calves. It's capris and a crop top. Great. Perfect. It was a barbecue cover. A bunch of zippers on it. This is not clothes. No.

This was the kind of gimp mask. That's a barbecue cover. This was the cover they put on the Mac when they turn it off. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Yeah, which is a barbecue cover. Yeah, totally. What about Billy? Billy can only really fit into the linen tunic that he's had to like tear the arms and bottom off of. So he's not drowning in it. Great. So I just look kind of like a sad boy. A sad little poor boy in my raggedy linen outfit.

Like a weird little ragamuffin that hung on to the cart as they left. Yeah. Yeah. What about Ving? Ving's got a mechanics outfit on. Cool. He's got a tool belt, some wrenches, put some grease on his face. Yeah. I imagine they have like big leather aprons. And then I did, now that you were talking about a leather mask, I imagine they have like round leather masks with like lenses. Yeah. Like welder's goggles made of black glass. That's a mask that's on mine. Yeah. I have a leather mask.

I have a little breathing mask on. Yeah. Totally. Oh, cool. It would be cool if they all had like sort of like breathing apparatus for when the Mac like creates a bunch of accurate smoke. I pictured a bit of a cage around that for some reason because it's a very sensitive thing. Oh, cool. So it's like a weird cage around a breathing apparatus. Maybe the cage to reinforce it. So like if you're hit in the face. Yeah. There's sort of like a cross between a hockey helmet and Mad Max. Yeah.

A little bit of Mad Max. Absolutely. And a bit of a muzzle. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. A little dog face. Yeah. Okay. Great. So you guys are in disguise and you're going to just like casually walk out of the cart. Yeah. With charisma. Okay. Mears like waves quietly. Which is like, I kiss him on the forehead. I unzip my mouth and I kiss him on the forehead. I kiss him on the leg. Okay. Be careful. Hold on to your room keys. Okay. I have fangs. I tell him, I took fangs. Awesome. What? You have my keys?

You keep losing it. I lost it twice. You leave them everywhere. Okay. Just make sure that you fully close the door when you leave. Okay. Okay. Have fun at the war. Yeah. And you're sneaking out? Yeah. So are you sneaking out or are you casually walking out? Casually walking out like we're meant to be here. Like we're supposed to be in there. Yep. Charisma. To go do mechanic things. Great. These are all charisma. 2D6 plus charisma. And we get a plus one forward from the discerned reality.

Plus one forward. To discern realities. Oh, yes. I got seven. I got 11. Oh, I get seven because it's charisma, right? Yes. It's charisma. Great. So it's two seven to nines and a 10 plus. Yeah. Okay. So the seven to nine. Billy, you just walk out so casually. There's some other short people here. I'm like, oh, nice. You just mix in with some short people. My people. Like, yeah, there's like a couple halflings, some dwarves, just some regular short humans.

I think because Billy is so small, he just has a profile that is less likely to draw attention. And then two people that are seven feet tall get out of the cart. That weren't in there before. Well, then as far as nobody, anybody knows. Yeah. But I think you are just drawing attention. What do you do to like, you see a couple of the mechanics like stand up from the back of the Mac and like lean down to look at you. And Tuck goes, quick, kiss me. Quick. You gotta kiss me right now.

You gotta kiss me or else they'll find us. This is true. This is true. This is true. This is your answer to everything. Hurry up. Kiss me. Tuck. The thing is, Abdul has picked up dice. I know. I'm looking for something. Not kissing. No, don't look at your sheet. Just kiss me. Don't look at your sheet. Ving. Okay. Paul's kissing Abdul now. I use spirit tongue to make it with Tuck. There's a lot of spirit tongue in this case. I come in like a hairy ibex there. There's so much tongue.

You were still rolling dice. What is your plan here? To look like we went in there too far. And then we were trying to sneak out quietly. Oh, I see. And everyone's like, Oh, those guys just went in there to fuck. High fives. Yeah. Adjusting your belts and stuff. All right. So I'm rolling to undo my belt to do a backup. I guess so. So that sounds like dexterity to me. Why are you rolling the smallest dice this morning? You know, I'm trying to come up with some small dice.

You know, I'm trying to come up with some small dice.

This is impossible and I'm rolling to unzip my gimp mouth to zip it back up okay so that's also dexterity I'm rolling to see how much pineapple juice I have on me yeah wait can I roll charisma somehow if you say that you did it a different way okay all right maybe you're like talking out loud like whoa what a makeout sesh that was yeah holy shit my balls are empty and mine are full I want to do some chin uh pull-ups on the doorframe before heading out to get all sweaty yeah so I can use strength that sounds like strength yeah okay so 2d6 plus charisma 2d6 plus strength I got sucked dry this really worked for me I got 10 great yeah I got 12 12 uh yeah we're on bren so you're like opening the door and you realize that like oh man this isn't gonna work these outfits are too fucked up yeah tuck realized when he smashed his head on the top of the fucking doorframe uh yeah so you guys put on your little show and the mechanics look at each other and like shake their heads big was grabbing my ass really hard really hard and everybody around is like including merbo you see merbo like roll his eyes and laugh I take a point of damage from that do you want to take a point of damage from an ass grab make yourself easier to kill later that's fine by me and uh you are able to you're now like integrated into this column of people yeah but stay away from merbo yeah yeah and merbo is playing with the dog angus he's like throwing sticks off the side of the road and uh angus is running out and grabbing him I'm coming back I think angus is like a big mastiff or something like that like he's got oh big jowls like a big head and he's like oh I'm gonna head and he's just kind of running around but maybe he's scruffy oh oh man maybe he's a wolfhound I love wolfhounds oh yeah they're like really tall and scruffy they're so scraggly up trees they chase boys up trees yeah in robin hood prince of thieves they were bred to uh chase boys up trees bred to tree boys said paul remembering a terrible childhood oh I needed was an apple angus lifts his head to the wind and sniffs and smells a boy nearby locks eyes with billy oh it's too late he smelled the boy uh but yeah you're integrated into this column you've you've successfully escaped the carriage close the door behind you like a little window in the carriage opens up and you see just the inside of a carriage the light underneath the sill changes from like the like flickering candlelight to like just like dark yeah I would like to use my mechanic disguise to get close to the mech and see if I can find out some sort of thing that we can use later if we need to fight one yeah I think that you your your disguises have been effective enough that you can kind of wander as long as you don't draw too much attention to yourselves by being asses yeah you should be cool to just kind of like observe why did you look at me I didn't I looked away you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you none of them are at abdul zero asses and you um yeah you can totally just like walk up to the mac as it strides down the road it's just thumping yeah and the closer you get the more the ground like shakes when it walks it's so tall it's tall it's 15 20 feet tall covered in pipes covered there's like probably three mechanics yep like riding it and you know doing work on various pieces I'm swinging a wrench hey boys how's she running today oh like a dream this bong bong like slaps the side pride of the firefields mechanic core yeah that's a cool name mechanic core mech core mech core yeah pride of the core this one is we call them what do we call all they some of them have names oh no but he you would he would assume that you'd know so pride of the core m4 is it's kind of like a acronym it's like a number it's turned into a name oh yeah they give them like names based on like star wars droids like they get names based on their designations I like that they kind of get bastardized into like m4 yeah yeah yeah probably to the core m4 is crank crank like he's got a big ratchet and he's tightening something there's like you can hear like a like kind of a low hum coming out of the pipes on the back of that thing oh it's like soothing as you're marching it's like a marching song yeah um do I need to do discern realities or something that is what you would do if you're looking for info I would like to gather fucker these days they're making me crazy they're definitely one of the bone die which are beautiful and then the other one is literally two millimeters across it's making him happy it's making everybody part of the problem it's driving you wild I like these little dice great go ahead and roll it uh discern realities with wisdom yep I got 11 there you go the tiny glasses off if you can still read them I got 10 so yeah you get three questions off the list uh what here's not what it appears to be I guess it depends on what you're looking for I'm looking for weaknesses weaknesses specifically about the mac I think that's what I'm kind of going for there's like a weak spot that they're trying to like maybe that's why they're like hanging out on them because they're trying to fix it right now you've always brought up that there's always mechanics hanging off them it means that they need constant maintenance maintenance I think that that is absolutely true like they are they are so based on what you saw the first time you fought one you have them in your mind as like very formidable and they are very formidable uh combatants but they are delicate in their own way there's a lot of different systems that are running that are all fragile that like so basically up until the point where they're fighting they need to be worked on um so they are not quite as strong as they are like presented as being they're kind of like the concord jet like where every time it would fly it would require like an insane amount of maintenance because going supersonic is like an insane thing to do to a machine right and it would be the same thing for a thing that's that big that's doing that much kinetic movement totally yeah these are probably like the most advanced piece of machinery that exists which means that they are almost always breaking down yeah yeah yeah and they probably don't like last that long in a fight like they they go hard bursts yeah small bursts and then they like I don't know retreat they're shock troops yeah yeah yeah yeah totally yeah that's and your your experience with it was like they basically wound it up and pointed it at you yeah and then just let it go yeah and then it fucking exploded because billy like destroyed one boiler inside of it yeah what should I be on the lookout for something that you would notice is that the one that you fought is different than the one that you're looking at right now which makes you wonder are there like a couple different kinds but then based on the fact that this one has a name and that the mechanics seem like it seems personalized that every one that you encounter will be slightly different so weaknesses besides their general fragility might not translate between max because they'd have different capabilities they're like custom cars kind of they seem to be like almost custom made like every group that that maintains a mac does its own so there could be like a base armature and then like a little bit of a like a little bit of a like a little bit of a like a little bit of a then all the everything on top of it is is custom yeah fucking so sick I like that I love that but we know that the boiler is a weak spot is there any way a hundred percent the boiler is a boiler boiler is you know based on fighting the old one the boiler seems to be in the same place every time really yeah it's in the back of the chest yeah because you can see they're like the hatch is open right now and they're like shoveling coal or whatever in there and you would assume that something that important means that it can't be moved they take coal.

Yeah, they have steam boilers. So you pop coal in the boiler and that boils the water, which makes the steam, which powers the Mac. They're full of fire. So that means they're carrying tons of coal and we were to destroy it. It could be the coal runners, basically. And coal is part of the word calm. That's Tuck whispering the thing. Oh my god. It's also part of Callum if you move stuff around. It's a jumble. It's a good cram. Good job, Billy. You've been practicing your words. Yeah, I have been.

It's taken two years to teach Billy any letters. Yeah, so like actually that is a good point. The cart directly behind the Mac is full of coal. These things obviously require a ton of fuel. And there's different types of it. When it needs to go into Super Saiyan mode, it's like as white coal. Alchemically treated coal. Oh, cool. Yeah. Yeah. Lastly, I think I'll use who's really in control here and use World Talker to try and talk to the Mac itself.

I think you like try reach out with your sort of spiritual connection to connect with this machine. You know, you're like when you walk up to a horse, he kind of styles up to the side and strokes on the pad. Yeah, neck and pads and puts an apple on his got to do it flat or it'll bite your fingers. I'm so nervous. Don't be nervous. It's still nerves when it's hard like it from, you know, 15. 15 feet up.

You see it kind of like lean down a little bit and it's big like lens covered head spins to look at you and other people like, whoa, whoa. Yeah, there's a guy on top. It's like, whoa, as it kind of shifts around. But the voice you hear is like a chorus because it's you can feel that it's made up of so many different components. There's the fire burning in the boiler. There's the iron that makes up the armor steam steam like the air being compressed and fired through the pistons.

What aspect of it is its intelligence? It's not a singular aspect. It's many aspects add up to some urgent property of its being exactly cool. It's really cool. I think that if we were to look back through history, I think the semi intelligence of the Mac was like an accident. They were trying to make like chassis that people could pilot and then they started acting on their own and they're like, whoa, we have discovered something here.

That we could use to crush our enemies like the unfortunate thing that all innovation leads to is how do we use this to kill? Yes. Are you asking it? Are you asking it a question? Maybe that can help me. I just want to introduce myself. Hello. My name is Ving. I am speaking to the collection of you through the collection of me. So it's basically like you are told that this being has been designated M4. So it knows its own name. It's been told its name. I think it refers to itself as it.

It was once ironed. And earth and fire. And now it is M4. Earth, wind, fire. Do you remember? I love your second album. You guys are so sick. Um, yeah. Where do your orders come from? Its orders come from the mechanics. Oh, really? What do you know of your purpose in this war? Its purpose is to serve the mechanics. Hmm. I am a mechanic. Its purpose is to serve you. It's good to meet you. It's good to meet you. Huh. Okay. I mean, I have this talking. I feel like I should ask it something else.

You guys have anything you want me to ask it? I would, I, maybe like is it content in this form? Because that's the thing that we've always seen with the spirits is like they might not have agency or plans, but like they can be in pain. Preferences. Yeah, they can be like this isn't natural for me. Yeah. Oh, maybe it's like, because I do, I do kind of agree with that.

That this is like a form that is not natural for the spirits of the elements that like underneath the why they always need fixing because they're always trying to break down, break free in a way you know? Yeah. I like that. They won't let me rust. I cannot rest. Yeah, I think why I think M4 like the collection of emergent intelligence that is M4 is like its goal is to serve and then underneath that if you're to like push your perception past. I listened to this song.

It's like the spirits are railing against this prison. Like it's a song of pain. It's a sad song. They have been forged into a shape that is made only for destruction and they long to be free. I am not a singer. I am a song and it is a song of woe. Wow. And as you're like hearing this song, the song of woe, you see like a pipe on the shoulder like some gasket bursts and a mechanic rushes over and starts fixing it. Like several mechanics. Yeah. Have to run over fixing it. Lash it back into place.

And I feel it's being sink a little bit. Yeah. And become more robotic and mechanical. And then it begins to play. It's like marching song again. Billy, you integrated yourself into this group of smaller people. Yeah. There's some like tired people who are resting who are sitting on these sort of like what do you call them? Like the frame of the cart? Like you've got like the running boards. Yeah. Like wood beams. Yeah. Sit out. Yeah. So I'm sitting with them. Nice.

Like underneath the cart almost. Yeah. Kind of. Oh, cool. Yeah. Just on like the side and stuff. Yeah. Sick. Yeah. And they're like passing little like rations back and forth. Dried meat and bread and whatnot. I'm like, ooh. I've got a ton of granola on me if you're hungry. Oh, good. Oh, ew. Yes, please. I would like to like use this to I guess gather info. Yeah. Would parlay work? I mean, they'll gladly take the food. I feel like it's maybe a, unless you're thinking about a specific topic.

Yeah. Like I do want to ask them about Callum Blackhammer. Sure. Yeah. You can roll 2d6 plus charisma. We're just like doing small talk and I noticed that they're eating rations and passing around. So I like pull out my huge bag of granola. I'm just like sprinkling into my mouth. Fucking stole it out of my bag. I see you. I'm like fucking stole it out of my bag. I've talked to him so many times. Like a little prince like yum yum. You can take the boy out of the thievery. Yeah. Eleven. Okay.

Yeah. So they'll answer. They'll answer your question. Have what's a you know, I've never gotten to meet him yet, but what's Callum Blackhammer like? Oh, we oh, none of us have ever met Callum Blackhammer. What have you heard about him? Oh, we've I mean, he's such a hero of mine. He is and you do see they kind of look at each other like, oh, a smaller like kid around seems like maybe 10 or 11 is like, yes, he is quite. Cunning. Oh, is he not? I mean, I'm just I don't know him that well.

Oh, no, we would never. We would never. Of course. Of course. Callum Blackhammer is and they all like saving face. The kid gets nudged when he says, yeah, he's quite cunning. He gets like nudged. He's like, oh, of course, he's he's one of the brilliant minds of the of the Firefields Principality. Him and his brother will lead us to victory against the the enemies of the Firefields. Yeah, this is like a Democrat family. That's like living in a Republican state. Yeah, totally. I just love Trump.

Yeah, he's fine. I mean, he's great. Yeah, red hair when I'm looking around at like the rest of the faces down here. Are they do they look they look a little uncomfortable. Okay, so everyone looks uncomfortable this question. Okay. Anyway, here I can share my granola with you. Oh, and they gladly. Yeah, take some granola and they're very happily chowing away. I mean like he's cool, but I am nervous to go up.

There and an older lady like puts a hand on your shoulder like that's that's natural to be nervous. A lot of people are having to face things. They've never faced before. Did you did you want to join? Well, I mean who wants to join, you know, but when the conscription came through we had to answer same, you know, okay, so I'm obviously they've been like basically like forced into this.

Yeah, it seems it seems like though the people that you saw at the front seemed pretty passionate in their fighting. It seems like there are there is conscription going on in the firefield. Okay. Yeah, we might be able to sow dissension. My people. Yeah sway some people to your to your side. Yeah has Callum always been this way. I don't remember. I mean, I'm pretty young. We live like really far out in the in the woods. So I mean, I don't I don't hear much news and the woman kind of nods.

Well, you know the the Blackhammer twins have always been very direct. In their methods of governance, but the last few months have been something else. I don't know what changed there was peace for so long and now now there seems like they're jumping on some sort of opportunity the sword Billy says that under his breath. Billy says that under his breath. I'm sorry. What was that to you? I'm sore. I'm sore.

I'm so sore like like sitting around like a walk in so far and sitting around on this bumpy heart. Oh, yes here here and she like takes a scarf out of her bag and folds into a pillow. That's really sweet. It's a long way. We've got another another day or so till we get to high command. Wow. Okay. All right. What time of day is it? I feel like we're like in like early evening right now. Okay, early evening. Yeah, so the sun is setting or has set a little lower in the sky. The sky is reddening.

Yeah. Oh, we see as it gets dark, you know that thing where when you have low cloud cover. Yeah, and it's like there's like a fire underneath that illuminates orange. Yeah, that's black glass. Yeah, totally the number of like forges makes the sky just like it looks like it's on fire. Yeah, and there's columns of that smoke like it looks like cloud, but then there's columns of it, which is like big belts of steam. Oh, yeah, from all sides.

Yeah, that's cool as you ride through this landscape like the fire fields is pretty rocky and there's like, basically thermal vents like off to the sides of the road. You see like steam pouring up through the ground. There's like bubbling Myers bubbling. Yeah, you pass through like a mire with like this raised earthen road that you're on, but there's like bubbling hot mud on either side. And yeah, you're just carrying along down the road. Talk. What are you doing on this way?

Well, I received many high fives from fucking that dude guys. The soldiers that were around when I got out. Yeah, totally. Yeah, I like that the mechanics also have like a status in this in this. Oh, for sure. Yeah, it's a mechanic instantly in. Yeah, you bagged a mechanic. Well done. Well done. Yeah, thanks, man. He was really rough. I lost a hit point because he was ramming my ass so hard. Wow, that's so much information right off the bat. Men don't usually share in this world.

Yeah, it's just more of a thing you say to like close friends as opposed to new acquaintances talking about the degree and efficiency with which your ass was around. I'm glad to hear things are going well for you. Thanks, man. My name's Ving. Ving. Couldn't think of a line. Yeah, great. Nice to meet you, Ving. My name's Jerome. Hey, Jerome. Hey. Do you know what? When you look at me, what do you think my job is? Your job? Yeah. General labor? Yeah, that makes sense. Big and strong lad like you?

All leather, the skip mask. Yeah. Coal mule. Oh, yeah, you're a mule, right? Right, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Logistics and labor? Yeah. I kind of am a gopher. I run shit back and forth. Yeah. That's why I'm so big. That's why you're so big. Yeah. Sorry, I'm still thinking about the ass thing. It was rough. You and me both, buddy. Let me tell you, I'm gonna be thinking about that for a while. Yeah. The way he ripped my ass is what I mean. Wild. They look out and Ving's just like waving. Hi! Hi!

Jerome. Like, nods. Wow. Quite positive, that one. Yeah, he's a great guy. He's, uh… Yeah, stiff as all hell. Great. That Tuck. Just switch names in this adventure. Yeah. Whatever his name is. Okay, so… Tuck is talking to Jerome. He's like ferrying shit back and forth. What do you do? Oh, me? Yeah. I'm just an infantry recruit. Okay. Yep. New. Brand new. Most of us are, actually. Except for any kind of nods to the Mac. Yeah, those guys. Kind of makes a face. Yeah, I know. I know.

Where did you get recruited out of? Oh, I got recruited out of a place called Lil' Sir. Oh, man, I love Lil' Sir. Oh, have you been? I was there one time. Oh, it's beautiful, huh? Do you know a guy named Gregom? Oh, Gregom. Are him and Brenda still together? They are. Thank you. Oh, that's so sweet of you to remember. I love that. That's great. The town is walking every night from the sounds of their powerful lovemaking. And you know what? We all kind of appreciate it at this point.

It's sort of beautiful to see love blossoming at such a late stage in life. It's mostly Gregom and it's incomprehensible. Well, boy,! Boy, he's he's has smoked meats have never been tastier. Actually have some. Oh, whoa! He pulls out like a little bag. Would you like to? Yes, please. He gives you a little piece of like it's like it looks like a smoked anchovy. It's a fillet of anchovy. I crack it in half and I save half for Billy. What the fuck? Can't fucking fish.

And I start I start chewing it. Do you know where Combe is right now? Have you heard through Blackhammer? Yeah, through Grapevine? I've heard that he's on the front as ever. He's still back there. Close to High Spare City, I hear. They're close to pushing through. I heard some guy, some cool guy really fucked him up. Really? Yeah. Haven't heard anything of that. You haven't? Okay. No. You should spread that around. All the broadsheets have been spread around.

All the broadsheets have been spread around. All the broadsheets have been saying that he's been winning quite hondily. It's probably fake news. Fake news for sure. Nah, big guy, big cool guy really fucked him up. Big cool guy. Huge long shot. Have you seen like a super hot redhead? Woman. Uh-huh. She's got like dark skin, long red hair. Answers to Allison sometimes. Oh, okay. I was gonna say, you're describing many, many women in the Firefields Principalities.

Okay, do you know a redhead named Allison? So hot. Like, so hot. Like, crazy hot. He's making a face like, I don't know. I haven't seen her around. No, I think, I mean I've heard the name, but I don't know if it's the same woman. You've heard the name? The name Allison. Sure. Okay. Well, tell me about this. A friend of mine said that he met a woman named Allison who he found quite fetching. Okay. Did they? It gets really angry. Oh, okay. First, second, third. So, what happened in that scenario?

He didn't say a gentleman never kisses and tells. Not that you would know that. What's your friend's name? Just by any chance. My friend's name? Yeah. I'm not gonna tell you. Okay. So possessive. Yeah, that's kind of an L. Anyway, I've got quite a ways to walk. I might just focus on, you know, left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, if you don't mind. Yeah, sure. I'll focus too. I trip him as I walk away. He falls and just looks back like, what the fuck?

And then I want to use Riff Raff Street Rat and ask, what is my biggest threat? Interesting. Do you think that there is a threat nearby? Is that your concern? Yeah, Tuck leaves Jerome in the dirt and he walks up and down. He uses the fact that he's a mule to cover the fact that he's walking the full length of the march. And he walks all the way to the front and all the way to the back to see if there's anything that's a danger to us right now. So you're walking back and forth.

You're walking up and down the line and you're like, nah, this looks okay so far. And the landscape is, you know, trees and bubbles. Rolling mires. Just long roads. Fires burning in the distance. Maybe the lights of a couple towns here and there as you're walking. And like 15 minutes after you leave Jerome, you hear, hey! And you turn and it's Merbo. He's got Angus next to him. He says, did you say your name is Feng? Uh. N. Yeah. Fuck.

And as you're looking at him, he starts to say something else and you hear a whistle and a thud as an arrow slams into the cart next to you. And Merbo looks at it and then looks to the trees and yells, ambush! And that's where we're gonna end it. Whoa! That's sick! I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So, my name is Ving, actually. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Goodbye, Sean. Oh, wow!

And playing Fabulous, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music. You can find Aaron's original music at aaronreid.bandcamp.com and all the original music produced for the show at Spotify. Thank you to our supporters around the world. Our show would not be possible without your support.

If you would like to support the show and get access to the up-to-date Mall Brats feed, monthly live streams, merch drops, and also, we have just started our playtests for our post-Spout Lore campaign up all night. And we have just finished a game of Kids on Bikes, which you can hear on Patreon at the $5 level. So, check that out. And also, listen to our other show, Mall Brats, which is available on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

And if you like Mall Brats, leave a review, and we might read it out on air. Reviews such as… This one comes from CG246. Most of the time, I put podcasts on a sleep timer to help me fall asleep, but I can't use this one because I wake myself up laughing. I gotta say, I'm not really an online person. I literally only listen to five podcasts. Spout Lore and now Mall Brats are two of them. So, that's two out of five of my podcast life dedicated to these guys alone. Exclamation point. Amazing.

That's really sweet. Snack Lord says, The Cool Treat Kids donated a kidney to save my mother five stars. Okay. We'll do anything. For stars. We're starving for stars. Thank you, Snack Lord. Yeah, we got eight good kidneys ready to go. Yeah. If you need them, just send us a DM. Well, seven. We need one at least to share. Nah, Paul, last one. In the war. I could give two half kidneys at this point. So, if you want to write a review and have us read it on the air, we would love that.

We'd love to hear from you. And if you make it funny, it's more likely that we'll read it. Yeah. Like, giving a kidney to your mom or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll give all your mom's kidneys. Yeah. I have two available. Yeah. I'm willing to rent out one. I think I need one, though. You do need one at least. Yeah. See you later, everybody. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3, who tried the best they can.

Though dumb and scared and lost they be, for time's abreast in rest, they'll re- And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I'd gladly say, it's about love.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara, joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz Hello everybody, here searching for the Kestrel, whatever the fuck that is It's a bird We do know that Playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers I'll get to the bottom of this, hi Playing Fat Billy the halfling thief, Jessica Tai Hello It is now like we are in, like, the Maltese Falcon Yeah, now would you like it?

Energy wise Cigarettes getting smoked on camera Uh, when last we left our heroes, they had emerged from hither and yon to the Mayor Fair An event which takes place to allow different mayoral candidates to present to the people of High Spirit And is also a carnival of sorts Uh, the party decided that they have to stick around to keep Morris and Perel safe And also get to the bottom of what the hell Etienne Boggins is doing here When in reality the answer might be simply running for mayor But it was too big, it was too obvious An offer for it to just be that Yeah, you're not wrong Um, the party deduced that there were some sinister secretive figures milling about in the crowd That seemed to be dangerous And learned from a ragamuffin that Billy met Called Buttons That Etienne Boggins appeared in town just a few weeks ago In the accompaniment of some sinister figures Yeah Yeah Real kinda like Secret Service types Mm-hmm Yeah So the party gave Victor the Liar Wolf a temporary illusory human form Which he became obsessed with immediately Uh, and then the party decided to head to the Spearmint B&B Where the ragamuffin said Etienne and his security staff had been working out of and also staying The party decided to stealth operation into this place Initially I thought you were just gonna sneak in But then your plan became get outfits and walk in the front door That guy's gonna wake up Remember we were the last people that he talked to right before he fell asleep mysteriously And then go to the board with one key missing And then go to that room and find us there Yeah Well, try getting us out It's gonna work Squatters rights Squatters rights, dude Squatters rights We're not even in that room, you idiot Because we're next door Squatters rights in a motel Find an inn Tuck got some clothes from a man named Randall that he met in the refugee camp outside of the city In exchange for offering Randall some free shampoos from the hotel Right Uh I can imagine his name was Randall River Oh my gosh, yes Maybe, maybe he was Oh yeah, because he's from the Riverways Yep Related to Randy River, the centaur salesman from McCall Oh, we already did that joke Yeah, shit Great Yeah Who knows Man, we gotta end this show, we're repeating jokes now Yeah, no Eat cartridges We could just use like other names Yeah Back then, Preston Young dressed in free Etienne Boggins campaign merch Yeah To present as a super fan And Billy found a bag that used to have donuts in it Yeah That was his outfit The party poisoned and manipulated the front desk clerk at the Spearmint B&B Got a room key and stole the ledger Getting one of the palatial two double bed suites Oof With a bathroom Then the party realized that Etienne Boggins' room was directly across the room directly across the hall and the room of his security team is right next to you so tuck climbed out on the windowsill the by far one of the largest people to maybe ever live in the principalities uh creeping across at the sill of a building wearing an extremely tight button-up shirt and what are your pants pretty pants I mean with the word randall across the back yeah randall's shirt and randall's pants is what your clothes say the person inside the room was almost alerted to tuck's presence before billy ran out to the front and created a convincing illusion of himself as a bag of fresh hot donuts knocking on the door and distracting him long enough for bing and tuck to both awkwardly climb through the window while the man first and a bunch of birds shit on us yeah we're covered in bird shit you got shit on by a bunch of birds uh the man inside whose name is thandy was enraptured by the free donuts and decided to spend a long time running around the room and he was able to get to the door and he was able to get to the door reminiscing about his life in the high spear mall out loud and then also give up some expository information to a supposedly empty room before being captured by tuck and bing threatened into working for them which he just revealed that etienne was wearing a wig yeah and that sometimes he doesn't speak with his accent right yeah yeah it would seem he is not part of whatever sinister highly trained security people are out there and was in fact hired on from the local area by an individual named the kestrel kestrel and then the door started rattling and here we are now what do you do hide hide I'm already hiding yeah you're a bag of donuts yeah you pop into it well he's still got the billy still has the illusion going I mean as long as they don't reach in they won't know yeah in the bag I take you to go uh into the bathroom oh yeah smart no he comes with you because he's already agreed to work with you because you threatened him right yeah oh yeah yeah we still have to work with you because you threatened him right yeah oh yeah yeah we said we would kill him if he betrayed us you know he works for us get in the bathroom so we can kill you if you don't come out of the bathroom you're gonna put him in the bathroom and you're gonna stay in the room no no we're all going into the bathroom to the bathroom the bathroom door closes so the door closes and thandy's like what are we doing in the bathroom we're hiding from whoever was coming into the door who would be jiggling your door handle I don't know could have been anybody is it just your room or no this is where I'll do yeah sorry I jumped in there you were gonna say there's a whole security it's all everybody's in this room together it's the security room this is the security bathroom okay what if somebody has to take a shit then just say you're taking a shit okay all right shut up take your pants off what convincing illusion to make it convincing okay yeah no wait hold on okay and then he takes his pants he unbuttons his belt he puts his pants around his waist he goes just wait here and he opens the door and he walks out with his pants around his ankles yeah tech starts farting to make it seem like he did shit in there can I roll to make it to make it you can absolutely just fart okay you do not have to roll I want to make it so bad when the guy's not in the bathroom anymore yeah or as he's leaving but you want to you want to make an audible fart to make a silent stinky silent stinky so if you feel bad it's audible he hears a fart because I don't want anyone to come in here and I want them to believe that he was okay this is the most serious I hate this show yeah what's that no sorry I said I love it I love what you're thinking I love where your head's at if I do this well yes then nobody will come into the bathroom yes because it's going to smell too bad I I fully understand patrons it's happening somehow they got a hold of this raw recording oh no we're live streaming we're live streaming right now oh god we have one patron left and they're giving us ten thousand dollars you were rolling to fart I believe yes yes so 2d6 plus constitution 2d 2d 2d6 all right jess please bless these dice read it uh eight plus three 11 oh my god okay so you hottest most silent stinky is I open my butthole so it's so silent tuck you grab your butt cheeks from inside randy's pants it's spread so that there's like an open canal where the but not too much sometimes if you go too far this way your mind's just not gone anyway yeah yeah yeah tuck did this once and he did a little shit by accident in the kitchen ving did it once and it was like squeezing the opening of a balloon and it went really high pitched and vito came in the room and said don't ever do that again yeah and what emerges from within tuck is horrifying all he's been eating is mirza's ghoul it's ghoulish what comes out no and you hear the door open and you hear like a muttering voice on the other side of the door and you hear thady going oh no I was just taking a shit in here as you can see by the fact that my pants are down right now you caught me mid shit and you can oh god you can probably smell that huh I know I can smell it that's my shit so you could come in if you want to come in that's what I thought I'll just be in this room finishing whatever I was doing in here as you can see from my pants being down it cuts back to tuck and it's like still coming out it's just like ving's mouth is open he wishes it wasn't his eyes are full of tears and he's like what is happening here all right tuck's concentrating so hard this is so not us billy and ving you both get hit by this wave it feels like death is reaching through the veil I gotta roll plus constitution see if I can survive this fart yeah absolutely yeah yeah 2d6 was con 2d6 oh I think I did it whoa I got 10 10 okay so you just how do you survive um duck turns around I mean he's looking up from his but you've maybe pointed your butthole towards the crack in the door I have I've pushed it up against it so you're fully squatted on the ground your asshole breast against the door nothing is coming out he's got amazing rectal control it's phenomenal it's unparalleled that's the one thing that tuck remembers from that night with allison is that she said you have amazing rectal control oh yeah some say there's still some glass beads inside and uh tuck looks up at ving and he's got two mini bottles of shampoo stuffed up each nostril and he's like billy close your mouth don't let me get inside your mouth yeah billy's still on the side table as a bag of donuts scent is filling the main room absolutely so billy what do you do the powdered sugar around me is turning brown from the smell is he creeping up the bag like some sort of a draught billy like grabs some of the I don't know I imagine there's like draw strings on this bag and I don't know he tries to leave a few of his widz widz widz widz widz widz widz widz I don't know.

He tries to like tie it shut, but now he, but like, of course it's burlap. So the smell is coming in anyway. He's just trapped himself. He's Dutch heavening himself. Do I roll to survive this? Yeah, this is like, depending on how you're trying to survive it, it's a defy danger of some kind. I'm trying to do it like mentally. Cause I've trapped myself in my own prison of linen fabric. So I guess it would be 2d6 plus wisdom. Cause you're trying to like meditate through it into your mind palace.

Yeah. I go into my mind palace. And remember you have a debility to wisdom because you're in your summer form. It doesn't even matter. Cause I do it anyway. Oh, what'd you get? 10. Okay. Nice. 10. So what does this look like? How does Billy meditate his way through this? Somehow gets into his soup palace. Oh, right. He's in a big bowl of soup. Yeah. I'm in an ocean of soup. It's like French onion soup. It's gotta be the smelliest one you can get.

It is little summer fairy crop top and sunglasses like on the soup beach. Yeah. He's laying on a little toasted cheese baguette. Yeah. Floating on the soup. I'm just thinking about things like fresh air. There's a fucking doo-wop dance happening around you. Yeah. Doo-wop dance. Like all the fucking ingredients are just like doing like a synchronized swimming in the soap. Yeah. Yeah. Summertime Billy. Yeah. Billy.

So since you're in the main room, you could potentially hear the voice on the other side. Am I able to see kind of, cause burlap is like pretty like loose weave. Can I see through the fabric to see like who is it? Yeah. Yeah. Who's at the door? You can discern realities for sure to see what you can catch. Oh God. That's good. Three. Yeah. So you definitely fail. So what would the failure here be? You already survived the fart. So I'm not going to make it fart related. Unless I fall off.

I fall off. The bag just falls off the table. Oh yeah. The door just faded. Like you're trying to look through the burlap sack and the door like. And I'm leaning. Fandy does open the door, not all the way, but you're like, oh, if I lean over, I could see who's at the door. And you scoot, scoot, scoot, tip, flop right onto the ground. Big thump. And Fandy, who did not know Billy was a bag of donuts, turns around and goes, ah! Wait, he sees me. I'm closed up in the bag. Oh yeah. I know.

But he sees the bag fall on the ground. Right. He just did not know that you were, you were the bag of donuts. He hasn't clued in to the fact that you're in there. He just thinks it's a bag of donuts. So he turns. And like, as he turns. And surprise, the door does like creak open. And on the other side, you see Etienne Boggins. Oh, what? A very lean, foppish looking man. I believe middle-aged was what we said. Kind of like forties to fifties. I just pictured John Waters. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

He's got a weird little mustache. He's got, I think he's got kind of like longish hair, like, like not quite shoulder length, but around there, like a very stylish hairdo. Although it looks quite frazzly right now. Billy, you can see from where you are in your bag, looking through the burlap curled up. You see Etienne look past Thandie, whose pants are fully down, by the way, still. Ew. His dingling is just like. Oh no, he's wearing. Flapping in the wind.

He pulled his pants down, but left his underwear up. It's an illusion. Yeah. A crime. I had time to pull up my underwear, but did not pull up my pants because I was shitting so much. I also imagine that he was doing them up. He was like, oh, I'm just leaving the bathroom. And then the smell hit him. The smell hit him and he just like. Let go. Oh, he rolled by his head and his pants just like, whoop, flared to the ground.

Some of the security guys come down the hallway and they're like, we smelled something really bad. Did somebody die or something in here? We heard that something smells really bad in here. There's like a bomb unit. There's a big hawk of the town. Someone in like one of those, like hurt locker suits. Somebody's got some smelling salts in front of a canine unit trying to wake a dog up. Yeah. The canine unit died. Poor dogs have died trying to come into this building.

It cuts to outside the shot of the square and it's like a police barricade. There's a six gun salute with four small graves. They're burying a dog funeral outside. Jets going. Leaving smoke in the colors of the high spear flag. And it looks like World War Z out there. It smells like it in here. Just people lying in the streets. Absolutely done. Cards on fire. Yeah. It was like a riot broke out as soon as the smell hit the square. And Randy's still in the middle of the fountain.

Randy's, he's, oh yeah. He's having a delightful time. Just he's, yeah, that's, he was so clean. It's like the, it's like the black plague. Like the people that kept clean were the ones that survived. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a bunch of plague doctors out there. In the long beak noses. Just for one fart. One horrible fart. It's still going. It's not over. This is still happening. Something bad is happening in the background of our world. And it's your fart. What do you mean over?

It's all your fart. And you see Etienne look past Thandie to your burlap sack on the ground. And his eyes narrow. And he starts walking forward into the room. And he's getting really close. And he's getting really close. And he's getting really close. He's getting really close to the bag. He's starting to crouch down. Oh no. He's reaching out a finger. I can't do anything though. I'll give myself away. I flush the toilet. His head turns towards the bathroom.

And he starts walking towards the bathroom door. You hear footsteps on the other side of the door. I can't flush it. Tex Butthole is pressing it. You cannot get in. Yeah. You hear, Etienne stops at the doorway and turns and goes, Thandie, I thought you said you were the one who was going to do this. You were the only one in the room. Then he goes, um, yeah, the toilet is does, it does this thing sometimes when flushes on its own. Dude, it's the quantity of shit inside it. It's a safety feature.

It's a safety feature. Can I put my fart into overdrive? You're going to try and knock him out with your fart? The only thing you can do from now on is like shit. I was going to say a fart in overdrive is a shit. Is a shit. Can I do that? I'm willing to let this roll happen. No. Oh no. Yeah. Unless you can come up with some other option. Can I aid by also farting with my butthole wide open? I mean, you can start the fart for sure. You can, you can add to the fart. What are we doing?

We're entertaining ourselves. We are entertaining ourselves. This is our podcast. I'm going to fart also. Okay. Okay. This is adding to the fart. 2D6 plus constitution. 2D. 2D. Nice. Constitution. I got 11. Wow. We're killing these roles. These fart roles. Okay. So you also start farting in this room. At that sound. Can I sneak out the bag? Uh, you can definitely try. I think Etienne is hit by the second fart.

Cause recall, he's about to reach out and open this door and then he gets hit by two powerful farts. Yeah. I, oh man, I'm having trouble with this. That's fair. This is fair. This is so stupid. But he is, his eyes close. They flutter closed and he goes, Fandy, if this room is not recovered by the end of the hour, I will fire you. Oh, and he pulls out like a little handkerchief and he presses it to his face and he storms out of the room. Billy, are you trying to sneak out?

I want to sneak out before, like while they're busy looking at each other. Absolutely. Yeah. 2D6 plus dexterity. Good sneaky. 12. Good God. That's sick. Yeah. So you, you creep your arms. Yeah. And I do that. Under the bed. Under the bed. Perfect. Right under the bed. I leave the bag there. And as Etienne leaves, Thandie closes the door and goes, oh, I was so afraid. And he's like, cover, he's like covering his face and knocking on the door. Yeah. Okay.

You can stop whatever you're doing in there. Provide, provided the two of you are still alive. Okay. We just have to wipe. And a few seconds later, the door opens. Everything has been done. Yeah. Thandie pulls his pants back up. Goes, all right. Now, I think it's time that you guys tell me a little bit about what you're doing here. Instead of just sneaking into my room while I'm looking at my hot, fresh bag of fresh donuts.

And he turns back to the donuts and he goes, oh, he crouches down and he pokes the bag. Hold on a second. What happened to my donuts? Things are not what you think. And he turns to you with malice in his eyes. What do you mean? We are here with a purpose beyond even yourself. What did you do to my donuts? Billy? I, uh, I come out of the bed, out of the bed. It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. It was I, the donuts. You were the donuts all along? I was.

I'm sorry to have betrayed you in this way. He runs his hand through his hair and he walks to the window. I got a hair bag of donuts. Now it turns out that all the things I was afraid of are true. Wait, what? I don't have any donuts. That's everything you were afraid of? I thought I had them. Maybe I'm not being clear about this. I found a hot, fresh bag of fresh donuts outside my door. And I was on top of the world.

But now I find out that this little boy and I get kidnapped by two disgusting, smelly freaks. He shakes his head. If only my mother could see me now. So sorry, Thandie. It's just that. We need some info. And this was the only way to get in. Thandie, do you know who you're working for? Yeah. Who? The Kestrel. The Kestrel. That's the only name I know is the Kestrel. How did they hire you? Where? I had a meeting with an intermediary at a place inside. What's happening to my voice?

I'm losing my voice. Losing my voice. I had a meeting with the intermediary of the Kestrel inside the Highspiel Mall. Do you think you could set up a meeting with this intermediary? Oh. To say that you want to come on as extra additional security? Yeah. Here's the thing, Thandie. Etienne is a bad, bad man. He destroyed an entire town totally on his own. Nobody else's fault. We tried to stop him, but there's nothing we could do.

We tried to stop him so many times, and he just gave it over to these disgusting frogmen. Oh, no. That's what happened to Mudlark. No, he said he was the savior of Mudlark. He's a liar, Thandie. A lot of people say a lot of things that aren't true. But that can't be true. Well, think about the donut bag. That wasn't true. Oh, my God. You're right. That's what Boggins did to Mudlark. A wig? Who wears a wig? Somebody who's hiding the truth. Why does his voice change, Thandie?

You think if he was on the up and up, he would be changing his voice all the time? Yeah. Well, here's the thing. Thandie, your voice never changed. No, my voice has been consistent the whole time you've known me. That's right. And you're an honest person. I am an honest person. Except for the fact that I may or may not be honest. I am. I may or may not be a criminal for hire. But that is beside the point. I never tell a lie. A criminal who works for money is not a criminal really. You know what?

You're right. Trying to help someone grow. You're right. Okay. You're right. It is morally okay for me to continue doing crimes. It's just a job. Because they're paying you. Because I'm being paid. If what I was doing was illegal, would I be getting paid for it? That's right. Yeah. Anyway. See, this is what I told my mom. She did not buy it. We have not sold it. We have not sold it. We have not sold it. We have not sold it. We have not sold it. We have not sold it. She did not buy it.

We have not spoken since. It has been two weeks. I cannot get my clothes. I miss my mommy. I miss my mommy. We have weekly tea times while we go and watch the DeSomme Creek Theatre Society. Okay. So I feel like I have decided to trust you guys too quickly. So you have to convince me to get you to set up a meeting. Okay. We can get you these donuts. If that's really what you want, I'm willing to get you donuts. The mall has a meeting. Okay. We'll get you those donuts. You met at the mall.

Take us to the mall. Get us to meet the intermediary. We'll get you those donuts. We'll get you whatever donuts you want. However many you want. Yeah. Oh, what? You're telling me I could get the big boy bucket of donuts? For sure you can. Yeah, totally. There's like 50 donuts in there. 50 of your donuts. Yeah. Oh my God. He walks back over to the window. This is it, Dandy. Everything that you've ever been afraid of is no longer happening. It's like a tuck face imprint and .

And all the lamps and plants and shit are knocked over near the window. And it still smells. It smells really bad. It still smells like shit. Okay. Wait, no. Okay. So donuts is what you're going to offer me? Yeah. Yeah. We'll get you donuts. All right. Going to have to roll a parlay. Two to six plus charisma. I got this, guys. Zero charisma. Oh. You can do it. Do you have charisma? It feels like literally anybody else should do this. No. Hey, he's rolling the dice. You can do it. You can do it.

Two to six plus charisma. Look at that. So we have to give him a donut right now? Yeah. I can't risk my job, my livelihood. I can't risk my relationship with my mother. If you're going to do this, you got to give me a taste of the good life. You got to get me some donuts before. Get the hell out of here. Okay. Get the hell out of here. Oh my God. No, sorry. I'm trying to be assertive. This is part of my resolution for this year. I've been talking about this with my mom.

She said I have to be more assertive. She said, Dandy, you're not assertive enough. My mom is making me be assertive. Yeah. Why don't we threaten him again? Yeah. Yeah. We could just open our asshole right here, right now. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I haven't unleashed what I got in here. Okay. Roll a two to six plus charisma. Plus threatening. 11. Oh, Jesus Christ. The threat was that you would fart also. I would fart also. Yeah. I can only handle two. Come on. Three. Look at me.

Round. You know what that is? Full of air. Hot air. Stinky air. No, please. Come on. I'm going to throw a donut. I'm going to throw a donut. I'm going to throw a donut. I'm going to throw a donut. Please. Come on. I just want some donuts. I'm going to do it. You can just go and give me donuts. I'm going to do it right now. Okay. All right. I'm fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. So, I'm setting up … You want me to set up a meet so you can get hired and meet Etienne Boggins?

Well, we want to get hired and know who the Kestrel is because Etienne is never a guy who's been the person who pulls the strings. Really? It sounds like this Kestrel that hired you. Might be the puppet master at work. Right. Or an intermediary to the puppet master. Okay. All right. Two big boys. Well, two big boys. And then one boy. And one little boy who would be perfect for this detail. All right. But you guys got to get out of here. You can't come out of the room. You got to get out of here.

Okay. Yeah. We'll climb back. I'll get it set up and you can meet me at where? The donut place. A donut place in the mall. Yeah. Big boys. Oh, big boys. Okay. You meet me at Big Boys Donuts in the High School Mall at … What time is it now? Let's do four o'clock. Okay. We've never said actual times. No. That would feel weird. Do we have clocks? Yeah, we have clocks. Is it regular times? 24 hour days? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were talking about the shadow of the spear. Oh, yeah.

Oh, meet me when the shadow of the spear is high. Okay. Okay. At Big Boy Donuts in the mall. Okay, bye. Okay, bye. Get out. Okay. And he starts pushing you towards the window. Go, go. We go out. Climb out. And you hear him open the door as you're climbing out the window. Boy, I'm glad I took that shit. Clearly, I really had to. I'm glad I took that shit. I'm glad I took that shit. I'm glad I took that shit. Because it smells like the shit of two grown men. Door slams.

And you're back in your room. Okay, cool. Cool. So we have this meeting set up with this puppet master potential. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And we could cut ahead? Let's do it. Or do we have anything that you guys want to do in between now and the meeting? The only thing we have to do is bring Randall shampoos and continental breakfast. We can grab some. Oh, yeah. I grabbed one of each. I feel like we should give Victor and Morris and Perel the room. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think we can get the room keys, too, so that they have somewhere to hang out. That's smart. Oh, yeah. Right. So they can just go back to Heather and Jan? No, the Spearmint B&B. Oh, the room keys to the Spearmint B&B. Yeah. So you go and meet Morris and Perel and Victor, who are at- well, Morris and Perel are sitting at a table outside a cafe- Yeah. Having food and drinks. Yeah. And Victor, you can see, is lurking in an alleyway, peeking around a corner, watching them. Okay.

You're talking to Morris and Perel. You can see him halfway down the block peeking out of an alleyway. Yeah. With his new Russian head. Yeah. And, dude, do you have anything you want to deal with these guys, or do you just hand the keys off and- Have you ever heard of anyone who calls himself the Kestrel? No, I don't think so. Seems to be some kind of crime lord or something that's trying to install Etienne Boggins as mayor here. What? Why? I don't know. Guy's a total dildo.

Why would anyone want him to be mayor? Yeah. That is odd. And you're going to go deal with this, then? Yeah. We're going to go try and figure out what's going on, because it seems like too much of a coincidence that Etienne Boggins is here. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Cool. Well, I feel like our thing, we can't really … We're not going to keep going until you guys are done with this. So we'll just go back to the B&B? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's the keys. Great. Two beds? Yeah. Two beds.

Did you guys already call one? No. Okay. Great. They're going to fucking both our beds. Oh, no. And Morris and Perel head off back down the street, and you see Victor creep out. He's like, get out of the alleyway. Kind of slinks up to all of you, and he's like, don't worry. I am keeping a close eye on those two pathetic men. They do not know that I am here. I am a shadow in the night of day, and I lurk on the edge of danger. You hear Morris go, Victor. He goes, I must go.

Victor, protect one of the beds from them. Oh, there are two beds? There are two beds. One of those beds shall be mine. Okay. Okay. I am going to go down the road. On all fours. Yeah. Every once in a while, the illusion fucks up, and he drops to all fours. Great. So then we cut to the time where the shadow is high. Oh, no. You want to go give Randy, Randall the- Oh, yeah. And he's still in the fountain. Randall. Oh, my God. You came back. Yeah. I got these for you, and I pass them.

And he grabs them. This is a shampoo and a conditioner? Yeah, man. Oh, my God. I can shampoo and condition all my hairs. They had one in me. One of each. What about the continental breakfast? I slide over a container of sausages and grits. He surreptitiously takes it like he's taking a bag of weed from you. Yeah. And he brings the container up to his nose, and he cracks it, takes a deep sniff. Oh, that's the stuff. And Tuck just hands him a giant column of cereal. Oh, wow.

It's got the thing on it. And he starts twisting it, and it's falling into the fountain. Look at that. Portion control. Yeah. He's like, I'm going to get a jamadilla meat in this thing. And he pops the top on the shampoo, and he starts shampooing his hair. Vang hands him a waffle machine. Oh, all right. Cool. Okay. I ate the waffle that was in there, but this will be good for a while. You know, teach a man to fish. You can feed yourself for years with this thing. You know what?

First time I saw you two, and oh, there's a third one. He's little. I didn't see him before. First time I saw you two plus one. I thought I was going to have to kill you. What? Whoa. It's hard out here on the streets. Whoa. But now that you've set me up for life, I think I found a friend. Plus one plus another friend. And you can join me anytime. You know what? I'm going to take this. I'm going to take this. He holds up the waffle thing and the cereal thing.

I'm going to make a new life for myself. This is the first day of Randall's new life. He's making a continental breakfast. And it's all thanks to you two plus one. Now, if you're interested in this, you can go to the YouTube channel. I'm going to put it in the description. I'm going to put it in the description. I'm going to put it in the description. And he's going to take two two plus one. Now, if you don't mind me- I'm starting to think that he can't count to three.

He stands up out of the fountain, dripping wet, completely nude, shampoo still in his hair. I bid you adieu. So long, Randall. So long. Now, it's time for me to hit the old dusty trail. And he gets out of the fountain and starts walking away with a waffle maker over his shoulder and a cereal thing under his arm, just soaking wet. Ving puts a scarf around his waist. .

Looks like a jaunty sash perfectly framing his ass dick and balls as randall walks off into the sunset it is the middle of the day it is not sunset yet okay so we cut to the time when the spear shadow of the spear is high yeah aka four o'clock four o'clock uh you enter the high spear mall for the first time in quite a long time it is just as formerly ostentatious as you remember there's a lot of busted up shop fronts there are rusting safety rails on the various floors there's lean twos and shacks hanging from the ceiling and pressed up against every like water and vines dripping inside sort of things or plants inside yeah maybe since the oh maybe since the last time you've been here yeah there's like a lot of plants growing in the mall yeah there's like overgrown sections or like vines climbing up posts like to the ceiling but there's still stores and people in here oh yeah there's still stores and people okay but uh for for us around the table this place looks even worse than it does in Mall Brats okay it is 40 years gone yeah um we're Mall Brats it's like still like a fun mall yeah this place it's like it's gotten quite a bit worse yeah in the intervening decades you follow the directions that uh you received from the little kiosk at the front like with the big map on it yeah you are here which is just got an elf crawling around inside of it pointing at different parts of the mall map and uh you follow the directions to big boys donuts also there is a mall's worth of shit here if there's anything you want to do while you're in the mall hmm I do need a couple more poultices is there a body shop in here oh you better believe there's a body shop in here okay uh it is called sage sages sages uh apostrophe s hey welcome welcome to sages oh my god it smells incredible in here oh thank you oh my god it smells incredible in here oh my god it smells incredible in here oh thank you it's the sages are you sage I'm sage this is my sister sage oh the sages the sages yeah nice what can we do for you I'm trying to get a poultice oh yeah I've used up all my uses oh yeah what's your kind of like basis uh mostly oil-based I'm an oil-based guy you know anything that I can just add to I just like the the rudimentary base poultice I'm going to use the poultice I'm going to use the I'm out in the woods all the time.

I can find things to top it up with. Oh, forage, hand forage. Nice. Very nice. Thank you. Okay, we can help you over here. Great. How much? How much? I don't have any money. Where's all our money? You might not have any money. We haven't had money for months. Yeah, because we've been living in a tent that creates food for us. Do they accept trade? Oh, they would accept, everybody accepts, especially the High Spear Mall. Yeah. So yeah, this usually runs, it's like 10 coins, 10, 11 coins.

Holy shit. Oh my gosh. That's at least what it says in the book. I don't know why it's so expensive. For how many uses? Two uses. That's it? Two uses of pulses? You'll buy like a house with 10 coins. Hey, all I'm reading is the Dungeon World SRD, okay? Okay, I have a deal for you. I don't have any money on me. Listen to this. Okay. As a trade, this here, and I pull out, I have three Hibernia Waters. Whoa. Holy shit. Oh my goodness. I have, I'll. Trade you one.

This is water, druidic water from the well of Hibernia. You've heard of this? Of course. I thought it was a myth. It is no myth. This can make many, many, many potions. I assume. Is this a thing that Ving thinks to be true or is he trying to scam these people? No, no. He thinks it's very true. Yeah. Like it's good for all sorts of things. It is. I've used it for, I don't remember what. Oh, what did we use it for? I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think.

I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. Oh, yeah. It helps a lot. It helps a lot. It helps a lot. It helps a lot. It helps a lot. It helps a lot. It helps a lot. It helps a lot. Of water on the roots and then the tree reacted poorly to it. And then a hole opened in the ground in the garden around the tree. We fell in there. Which we eventually saved the tree. We didn't save the tree. We had to plant a new one. And the new one lived. Not good. Then yeah, go ahead and roll 2d6 plus charisma.

Okay. Ooh, boxcars plus charisma. Holy shit! Oh yeah, they are more than willing to accept this trade. For how many poultices can I get with this? Well, what are you suggesting? I'm suggesting you give me 5. 5? 50 coins worth? 50 coins worth. You're never going to get there. They can't even find Hibernia, let alone go to the well of my family well. This is only one of this thing. Sage and Sage look at each other. And Sage loves to rip off like, eastern cultures. 100%.

Oh yeah, do I still have that coin with the hole in the middle of it? Yeah. Sage is like, Sage, we might never have this opportunity again. And Sage is like, yeah, but how do we know if it's authentic? And Sage goes, we get to decide if it's authentic. That's our responsibility as white store owners. That's our power as marketers who created the brand. That is the power of the Sage brand. We get to decide. These things are real.

What we do, Sage, is we take this Hibernian water and we take a drop and we put it in a full jar of water and then we say it's essence of Hibernian water. We can make a fortune. A fortune. Very well. They reach out, snatch the… I snatch 5 poultices. So now you have 10 uses of poultice and herb. Holy shit. What do you mean? I got 2 times 5? No, it's 5 and each one is 2 uses. Oh, each one is 2 uses? So it's 70 hit points? I thought that's what you were saying. That's awesome. Holy shit.

That's sick. Oh my god, guys, I have so many poultices. Wait, did I just get scammed? Yeah, dude, that's awesome. Yeah, that's great. I thought that's what you were asking for. It was 10 poultices. That's amazing. Water that will be very difficult for you to get. Yeah, I only have 2 of those left. That's fair. Can't hang on to everything, you know? Great, yeah. And then you leave Sages. Thank you, Sages. Good luck with your scamming. They bow to you. Really problematically.

It's a really problematic bow. And as you leave, you activate some sort of music bottle chime that plays a very offensive sting on the way up. And you're still in the mall. You're on your way to Big Boy's Donuts. I do want to buy some knives. Like some weapons. I haven't had any weapons really on me for a while. That's true. Billy's been weaponless for a good while. I don't have coins, so I might have to steal them. Or trade. Do you have anything to trade, Billy? I only have the toy sword.

There's absolutely like a house of knives kind of place. Which is called the Palace of Blades. I was gonna say World of Blades. World of Blades. The World of Blades. I like that game that we play. Yeah. There's World of Blades and there's the Palace of Blades right next to it. Oh, they're feuding knife stores. There is a knife fight every day out front. Okay, so you guys are walking down a hallway and you see two shopkeepers standing across from each other in like a Akira Kurosawa style.

Like, one has a long sword out in both hands. And you see two shopkeepers standing across from each other in like a Akira Kurosawa style. And the other's got a small sword next to them and there's a vent nearby that's broken and is blowing a bunch of shit across the ground. It's an air conditioner and it's like really cold so there's like snowflakes also blowing. Oh yeah, cherry blossoms slowly falling from the tree. There's a single cherry tree growing in the middle of the wall.

They planted it years ago. By the cherry pits. Oh yeah. And you hear one of them call out, this is the last time you will infringe upon my honor, dog. And then his mouth keeps moving. Bad translation. The palace of blades cannot stand against the world of blades. For we are the superior blades. And you hear ha ha ha, unlikely cur. And then one of the guys just barely like cracks the sword out of the hilt and goes back in.

And then you see a sign behind him that says 50% off and it falls in half and says 60% off. He slashed their braces. There's a crowd watching. And then somebody in the other guy goes prices are slashed. That's so stupid. My prices have never been lower. The crowd starts clapping. And then Tuck's holding a giant cotton candy that he got. And he's like, yeah! Billy, if they keep this up, you'll get free knives. I know. I'm kind of hoping they will. Hey, do it again. Do it again!

Your prices may be 60%. 60% off, but your limbs shall be all the way off. And he goes, ha! And starts running towards the guy. And these guys are going to fight unless anybody steps in. It looks like this happens a lot. The store looks like unattended, so I'm going to go into whichever one. The shopkeepers in the neighboring stores are just putting on goggles and putting splash zone equipment on. This happens all the time. Yeah, it looks like these guys are super scarred up. They're both.

They're white every day. 2D6 plus dexterity to sneak in. 10. Holy shit. So you hear like, clink, clink, clink, clink. Swoosh, clink. And you just start walking into one of the stores. There's like a little boy just waddling. It's a total anime scene, and then you just see like an Adventure Time character waddle through it. And you are in the store. Wow. So much selection in here. As you like cross the threshold of World of Blades, a spray of blood hits the ground behind you. Sick.

And you hear, uh, uh, uh, uh. And you have before you a world of blades. My gosh. Long blades, short blades, blades for cooking, blades for fun. That's what all the signs say. I go to the blades for fun. Oh, the blades for fun. Okay. So they're still real blades, but they're just like fun. Yeah, they're like. Ow. The ones that I really like, the handle has like goo inside with sparkles. It's a gel pen. No, it's like got sparkles. So like when you flip it around, it like all the glitter.

It's like a lava lamp handle. Yeah. Fun. So fun. Yeah. So there's one of those. I take a couple of those. Yeah. It's got a little, it's got a little sheath and the sheath has like, um, seahorses on it. Fun. There's another. There's another. There's another. Fun. Oh my God. So fun. How many can I have? Okay. So I think that you, you were, you were able to roll in. So I get one? With this, but if you want more, you can push your luck and, and steal some more. Okay. Oh wow. No. Jess, that's bad.

I dug too deep, too greedily. So what's the blade that you're reaching for? So I got a four. The blade I'm reaching for is higher on the shelf and they're plushy blades. So the handle and the sheath are like fuzzy. So you take the head off and there's a knife underneath or something? Yeah. Like it's like leopard print. Oh cute. I get really excited. Yeah. There's one that's like a unicorn horn is the handle. Whoa. And like soft silvery fur on the sheath. So cool. I grab one of those. Yeah.

And as you're like reaching out to it, a full grown man comes crashing into the display and he like. Blood face. Covered in blood. His face is covered in blood. He like hits the display. It gets knocked over and smashed and he does like a back roll back onto his feet. Whoa. And he's got his sword in his hand and he spits a bunch of blood on the ground and he goes, is that the best you've got fool?

And you turn and you see the guy walking in the larger guy who's got like a beard and like a big belly and two swords. Half of a beard like his beard's now 50% off. He goes, you haven't even seen my my forbidden technique. And you are in between these two guys and they both stop and they look at you. Just like freeze like they might not see me if I don't move. And you hear the big guy go shoplifter. And they both turn and start chasing you. I want to run away. Yeah, great. 2d6 plus dexterity.

12. Yeah. You zip away but they are like pursuing you. I keep running away. I just run through. I'm like weaving through the shelves into the other store as well. Oh, yeah. Trying to lose them. Yeah, totally. Running through the crowd. Uh-huh. So they're going to keep chasing you until you unless you like leave leave or find some way to really get away from them. I would like to leave leave. Are you running back to tucking being or anything? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So you run to tucking being and tucking being you see two armed warriors running out of the stores to work. And I'm like fake crying like they're going to hurt me. He stole from them. I wasn't doing anything wrong. Oh my God. I told you not to teach him that word on hand. Our merchandise raps galleon. I took nothing. There's nothing on me. Don't touch me. You guys do a tech good. Uh, dude, you did steal one teachable moment. Yeah, this is a teachable moment.

I look at you like it's not a teachable moment. Yeah. I think you might try and stab of stab us. Yeah. Is this you have the jelly? You can see that you really like the jelly seahorse. Never seen one like it handle. I love the idea that you ask a kid. Is this a teachable moment? The kid goes no, no, I don't think so. I don't have anything. Yeah, I'm not going to learn anything from this. I'll tell you that you can try. I say like if you try to teach me something I'm going to do the opposite.

I'm going to forget something else. Yeah. Okay. So tech takes Billy and he like he puts him on his shoulder where he's safe and then he turns to the two guys and he does an anime pose and he goes get to a halt and hold their weapons. He realizes from his bouncer training that it's like you kind of have to speak the language of whoever like you kind of have to talk bro to like talk down a bro. You know what I mean? Yeah. And he's like these guys are so in the act. I have to like engage me.

With it. So he like strikes a pose and then like throws a rock at the cherry blossom tree. So the blossoms come down and then he lifts his axe high in the air and activates the amethyst crystal. Oh shit. And then he like moves his mouth in a weird way and then he goes you will not kill my son. All right. Two to six plus charisma. What honor does the samurai have who kills a small boy a small boy who is just stealing to protect his self. Roll two to six plus charisma. You are a dog.

If you do so I'll cut off your death. You worthless dildo. So that's why do we use any other die? Yeah. Snake. Oh great. So they stand there and they go so you have aligned yourself with the thief. Huh? Then you shall die with the thief. Ha! Roll with honor. Fink's just gonna fucking scream out of the corner. Punch one of them in the face. I got seven. Okay. So you get three chi? Two chi? I think two chi. Okay. Yeah. Do you want to spend one? Uh yes.

I will spend one to block a blow meant for somebody else. Oh so yeah. The big guy with the two blades is swinging the mittuck and screaming forbidden technique. And you are about to intercept the forbidden technique. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have the leather strap for my parents. Oh cool. So it's just around my wrist so I like as the thing's coming down he just kind of like swirls his wrist and it wraps around the hilt and yank the sword out of his thing. Oh sick. Roll a d6. One. Holy shit.

Yeah. So you just take zero? Take zero damage. Nice. He does the thing where he just steps aside and then the sword comes like back under his nose and he like sniffs away. Smells like Burger King. Yeah. Slap him in the face. Take a sword out of his hand. Oh so sick. What do you do? How are you doing that? I'm going to use my other chi to deal my damage to a foe within reach. Excellent. Roll your damage. Three. Yeah. This guy is not wearing armor and he's a shopkeeper. So what do you do to him?

I just kind of like poke him in the throat. Oh and then take a sword of his hands and I was like you shouldn't be playing with knives. So he stabs towards you using his forbidden technique. You step out of the way sniffing the blade as it's drawn back through past my face drawn back past your face and then you just poke him in the throat and he was ow man. Ow ow dude. Oh my God. Right in my throat. You're going to poke somebody's eye out with this thing. We're just messing around man.

Your kids stole from us. Look at this guy. He's covered in blood. You're not messing around. You're making a scene. Yeah you took the knife. I'll trade you this sword for that one that he took. Leave him alone. The other guy's like Leonard. Leonard it's okay. It's okay. You don't have to cry. You don't have to cry Leonard and he kind of takes the sword from you sheepishly and he's like shakes his head at you. I can't believe you did that.

He just walks away and these two you realize as the two guys walk away and the crowd kind of like mutters and disperses that you might have interrupted a marketing event. But Billy has got his knife. The danger has been diffused. You got a jelly knife. I do. That's cool. I'm playing with it. So fun. Did you get the unicorn one? No. No you didn't. It was too heavy. Too high. That's okay. That jelly knife is cool. It's so great. Like when you shake it the seahorses move around inside.

I know it's so cute. It's very cute. So cute. You've still got a little bit of time before the meeting. I imagine you want to stake the place out a little bit probably. Yeah. Is there anywhere else you want to go? Like does Tuck want to stop somewhere? Yeah. Tuck what? I just remembered shorten McWides or whatever. Oh yeah the bottle store. I don't have any music bottles anymore. You don't have an instrument. Oh wait do they still have my instrument?

Did they take your double headed loot or something didn't they? Yeah they were going to fix it. Oh wait but I had it in the Sea of Graves right? No I found a different loot in the Sea of Graves. Yeah why didn't you get your loot back from them? I think we just forgot to come back. Oh my god. Oh my god let's go get that. Tuck is like oh shit.

Yeah you walk past and you see Short and you're just like eyes half lidded walking through the mall like just mouth slack and you realize you never went back for your loot. Oh my god. Fucking holy shit. Several years ago. Five or six real life years ago. Yeah. You brought your broken double headed loot that you got from a traveling sales thing. Yeah. It's kind of like a tinker guy. Yeah. Well it was you got it from Vong. Oh right. I got it from Vong. From Vong all those years ago.

And you brought it to Short and McWides to repair it after it broke and you never came back for it. And I think I broke it by trying to play it with a knife. You did. Yeah. I remember. Yeah. I took one of Billy's daggers and I was like check out this sweet power cord. Snap. And then the guy that was working there was like I think he was like some emo kid. Yeah he did the poems. Writing poems. Yeah. Yeah. Who knows if he still works there. Well I'm doing the voice now so. Oh maybe he does.

Welcome to Short and McWides. I hope this was the voice I used all those years ago. Is he a disgruntled dad now? How many years ago was it? Two? Would have been two-ish. Oh my god. He's got two babies with him. Like in a Bjork. So many. He's got two babies on the front of him. Welcome to Short and McWides. What can I do for you? I dropped off an agitar as the lay people call it. Lame people. Lame people call it. But an axe and you know metal parlance here for repair. Ah yes I see.

A few years ago. A few years? A few years ago? What? And I'm just coming back to pick it up if it's done. You know we actually need a few more days. No he goes through he goes over to a big dusty tome. He blows all the dust off. It says two years ago on it. He flips the cover open. Blows more dust off the page. His baby sneezes. Both of the babies start sneezing. Blowing dust off each page with their little baby sneezes. What name? Tacoma Dome. Oh. Tacoma Dome. Yeah. I remember that name well.

It was a name that I saw in this book and I thought this guy's never coming back. I looked at that loot every day. Until. He's turned like looked at it. He's put it. He's looking out a window now. A window that's inside the mall. There's no windows. He's staring into a break room. Into a break room where someone's eating a burrito. An equivalent of looking at their phone. Whatever that is. Yeah. That double headed loot was so sick. It's the sickest instrument in the world. Sickest.

And I found myself falling deeply in love with that loot. I wished for it to be my own but I knew that I could not. It inspired me to write a poem. Several volumes of poetry. Many of which I destroyed in a fit of jealous rage. You were jealous of who is wait what were you jealous of? I was jealous of my own intentions towards that loot. Did you fuck my guitar dude? Of course not. I am a father now. I would never do such a thing. Wait what? But this loot to you I say is complete. Oh cool. Oh.

A little bit more there but okay. I'll be right back. And he goes into the back room leaving the front of the store completely unintended. I fill my backpack up with bottles. Oh my god. Click click click click click click click click Not at all subtle about it. Just like I shoved so many in until it's like you could tell there's a shitload of bottles in there. I just put it on my back. Do you want to roll anything to make this not noticeable? No. Okay. Dude you left. You made this happen.

Yeah you forced me to do it. You forced this on me. And he comes back with a case. A hard leather case. With two individual necks in the case. Yeah. And he clicks it open. Opens the lid. Spins it around. And there before you is your double headed base loot. Wow. Shiny and new while covered in dust. Absolutely. Covered in dust. Tuck blows dust off into the two babies faces. They start It's a pretty dusty story. You shouldn't have those little kids in here. It's pretty dangerous for them.

It's okay. It strengthens their lungs. They'll learn. Yeah. The two little babies have two little like wrist straps with like meds on them. Yeah. Medical alert. They both say asthmatic. Yeah. That's what I thought you were going to say. I was going to say they were two little metal kids. But yes, they also. He pulls out of holsters in his hips. These two little puppers shakes them spins them and then his babies. It's a cool dad. Yeah. And a bad dad. Yeah. Really bad dad. Most cool dads are bad.

Only bad dads. All right. That'll be repair costs plus guitar storage over two years. That'll be 150 coins. Oh sick. Oh gosh. Tucker closes the lid snaps it picks it up and goes I'm not going to pay you. He holds up his hand and goes wait it's too much money. I'm not going to pay it. Hold on. Wait. No hold on. Wait. This just shows him all the bottles and he's just stolen from his store. It's your backpack. He's like a teenager sneaking out of their house on the weekend with booze. Wait.

I'm not going to pay it. I don't think you can stop me. Thank you. Wait. Tuck stops and turns back looks over his shoulder at him pensively. Come on. I'm not going to pay it. Wait. Tuck pushes over a giant value bin of bottles as he leaves. It's just a fucking much music dance party starts in that room. Oh man. And you leave short and McWise. No consequences. Well no consequences from this guy that's for sure. I like that I didn't even try.

I made no rolls in that scene because Tuck made no choices. No. Other than to like just be like I'm going to do this. I'm leaving. What are you going to do about it? This is mine. And you just leave short and McWise. You have your double headed lute guitar back. I find these guys a rotato potato thing. Yeah there's a rotato booth. It's one giant rotato but then the guy sells smaller rotatos because he doesn't want to cut up the giant one because it's too cool. It is really cool. Thank you.

I've been working on growing this potato for many years. It grows in a spiral? All of my rotatos grow in a rotato form. Whoa. Huh. It is a technique that I myself have devised. Would you say it's forbidden? It is forbidden. Yeah that checks out. And verboten for you to know. And if you ask I will be forced to take violent action against you. God what's with these mall employees? The High Spear Mall is a tough place to live. People always want to steal your rotato secrets. Is it tougher?

Ever since Shathane disappeared? Oh my lord. He turns to a window. Ever since Shathane Wick disappeared the mall has fallen into chaos. The hot meat boys run rampant. Leaderless. Chaotic. Like wild animals. The cool treat kids run rampant. Leaderless. Like wild animals. The food court. Yeah. Run rampant. Okay. I see. It feels like this guy just has like a small kind of library of cool things. Leaderless. Like wild animals. We might head out now. The barbecue dad's still a thing.

The barbecue dad's. Yeah we're walking away. Run rampant. I have stolen the giant potato. He's caught in this loop. He's caught in this loop though. He can't stop. He's in his own. He's in his mind rotato. Yeah. His mind is the real rotato. It's an infinite Mobius potato. And now you've stolen from everyone that you've met in the mall so far. This mall is awesome. Yeah except for Vic. This mall is great. Yeah. You can steal from everybody. I could've just stole from those white women.

What are they gonna do? And they were the worst of all of them. Yeah totally. Yeah they had the most racist bow. Yeah. So far. So far. Don't limit me as a storyteller. And it's now it's about time you think probably for your meeting. Yeah. Now we're all armed up. We're armed up. I have my axe. I'm wearing it kind of cross. Oh yeah. TLC on one side and then the double headed loot on the other side. Cool. Yeah. You're like a four headed monster right now. Yeah. I like that.

And you go to Big Boy's Donuts. What's Big Boy's Donuts like? Is it a sit down restaurant? Yeah. Yeah. I'm like I'm gonna go to Big Boy's Donuts. I'm like I'm gonna go to Big Boy's Donuts. Yeah. It is a sit down donut restaurant. Sit down donut restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Welcome to Big Boy's Donuts. Oh wow. Yes. Almeid do you have a reservation? We're meeting a friend here. Do you have a name on the reservation? The Kestrel. The Kestrel. We all say it at the same time. The Kestrel.

The Kestrel. The Kestrel. The Kestrel. The Kestrel. I'm sorry you will have to speak up. The Kestrel. The Kestrel. Kestrel. Ah you have to be quiet about that name. Try to whisper it. Yeah but it's the levels. We're not talking about the levels. We're talking about the levels. That's not what I wanted them to be. I'm so sorry. He flips open his little book. Ah I see. This way. You're going to the VIP section. Nice. And he takes you in. He gives us all suit jackets. Yeah.

It's there is a bit of a dress code here at Big Boy's Donuts. And the leopard jackets. Leopard? Le-pe-ld. Le-pelled. Very, very, very good sir. He puts a jacket on you. He puts a same size jacket on Billy so it's massive. On him and then he drapes several coats across Tuck. One on each. One on each shoulder. Yeah. I put one arm through each. Immediately rip it. Yeah, wonderful. Yes. Okay, right this way.

He tweedles along the floor taking you through one of the finest establishments you've ever seen. Everything is like crystal wear. Crystal wear? Crystal plates, crystal tablecloths. Low lighting. Yeah. The lights are crystals. It's low. The candles are crystals. It's low. What does it smell like in here? Crystals. Fresh roses and donuts. Yeah. There's a vase of donuts that comes out. Oh, yeah. Several waiters bringing in the vases of donuts. Yeah.

Giant music bottle with a woman laying down on top of it and playing like soft jazz. Loving you is easy cause you're beautiful. Sounds like shit. There's a waiter who walks around with a giant sugar cube like powdering sugar on all the donuts. That's great. Tell me when to stop. Crack, crack, crack. There's a table with a chef in like a tall white toucan. He's slicing pieces off a giant donut for people. Nice. There's a flambéing happening at all different big flash of light from over here.

Everyone's in black tie. We stand out so much. And he takes you to the back to a spiral staircase, which takes you up to the second floor. And he takes you to the top of the stairs where there's like a hallway and then there's like doors off the hallway that have like, you know, gaps in the top and bottom like almost saloon style doors. And he takes you to one of those doors. Right this way, please. You through the doors squeak, squeak, squeak. They swing behind you. There's no one here. What?

The booth is currently empty. I want a trap expert. Very good. 2d6 plus dexterity? 11. 11. Great. Yes. Okay. So you get several hold to ask questions. I'm suspicious. Is there a trap here? There is a trap here. No! And it is activated by you walking into this booth. What does the trap do when activated? The trap alerts someone nearby that you have arrived. And what else is hidden here? What else is hidden here is you enter the booth and you stand around and you realize there's nobody here.

And then you hear behind you, well, well, well, if it isn't to you three. Etienne Boggins. Etienne Boggins. Tall, lean, kind of longish, fop-like hair, graying, fine suit, much finer than he wore in Mudlark. Nice hair. Is it new? It is. Thank you very much for asking, little boy. Please, enter. Take a seat, why don't you? You first. Very well. And he walks past you into the room and he sits. He's got like long tails like on his coat. Long tails. Yeah.

And he sits down on the edge of the, you know, it's like a long table in the room and the booth kind of goes around the edges of the room so he sits and he starts scooting down one long bench. Okay. Into the middle section of the table. Makes like a squeaking noise at one point. That was the booth. Hey. And he keeps scooting. Yeah. Down to the end of the table. And we, I guess, I guess we'll shuffle in there too. Yeah, get in there. Been a while at Tian Bargains. It has been quite a while.

Seems like time has been kind to you. It has. Thank you very much. It seems like it has been unkind to you three. Whoa. What a burn. What's that supposed to mean? We've just been working really hard. I've been in the sun a lot. I've heard much of your escapades. What have you heard? Just that you, like, tend to make a mess of whatever it is you get your fingers into. Well, sounds like what, it's the same thing that you do. Savior of Mudlark, eh? Are you the Kestrel?

I'll be the one to ask questions here. Alright. And the first question I have for you is what the fuck are you guys doing here? And he reaches up and he pulls his hair down revealing two elf ears. Who is this? And he pulls a cap off a gold tooth. Dan. Dan! Dan! You fucker. What the fuck are you guys doing here? What the fuck are you doing here? What the fuck are you guys doing here? What the fuck are you doing here? What does it look like? I'm undercover. I'm running for mayor.

Wait, were you always Etienne Boggins? No! Okay. I'm just using the Mudlark thing. I mean, we've got Boggins somewhere. What did you do to Boggins? He's fine. He's fine. Where is he? He's fine. Where? What do you mean by fine? This is so loose. That's such a loose answer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's fine. That's all you need to know. I want to know. Who's we? Who are you working with? What are you rolling? I don't know. I want him to answer my questions. I mean, you can keep asking him questions.

This is a person you know. You can ask and we can see how the conversation goes. I pull out my knife. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Billy. Answer my questions right now. Okay. All right. You flash the seahorse at him. Yeah. You see these? The males give birth. I flip it upside down like, look at that glitter fall. That'll be like your reputation. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. What do you want to know? Where's Etienne Boggins?

Yeah, we have him held. Who's we? Who do you think? You and the Kestrel. I am the Kestrel. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. Where'd you come up with that name? I can't. I don't want to. It's just, I don't know. I thought it was a cool name. It's not important. By we, do you mean you and the Menders? Yes. I fucking knew it. Oh, did you know it? I knew it, Dad. Oh, did you know it? Actually, yes, I did because I tackled you in that restaurant in McCaw that one time. Yeah? Remember? Yeah.

When you gave me a concussion? Yeah, I remember. You do remember? Wasn't that bad a concussion then, I guess? I'll have to try harder next time. Guess I gotta finish the job. No, no, no, no, no. Come on, come on, come on. Tuck cracks his knuckles loudly. All right, just be chill, all right? Okay. Okay, more questions. What's your plan? Well, I'm going to become mayor of Highspear. And then live out the rest of your days as somebody else?

No, the Menders want to get access to the Princeps for some reason. The Princeps? Princeps of? Highspear. Highspear. Yeah. There's one Princep. Yeah, there's one. Yeah, Princeps is a, I think Princeps is the singular as well. That's, is it the singular? I think it's Princep. Oh, wait. I think it's Princep. Anyway. Look, I'm not here for my language skills, obviously. Yeah, they want to get access to the Princep. So I'm going to become mayor, and then we'll have a direct line to the Princep.

Okay. And then? What for? They didn't tell me that. I don't even, I don't even know most of the people in this, you guys are familiar with the Menders, right? You're familiar with how this works? Yeah, we know Maggie. We don't know all of them. Yeah, Maggie's not involved. Maggie's not involved in this? No. What? Different cell. Who's the leader of your cell? What the fuck does that mean? What do you know? I am on loan. I am a freelancer. I think he just heard the word mayor and said yes.

I think so. Yeah, maybe I want to be mayor. Is that so wrong? But it's, there's a war on. Yeah. Yeah. We were aware. Yeah, we were there. I think, I think the, okay. If I had to guess. We took down the Black Hammer, dude. Yeah. No. Yeah? Yeah. Billy, show them your scar. I, I rip open my shirt. Whoa! It's, it's not healing. Did you peel off your bandage? It's not healing. He pulls his bandages off. Look at that. Oh no! It's so scary! No, just show them the bandages. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I am sorry. That was my fault. 100% my fault. I use all my poultices. We spend five, the next five minutes patching him back up. You have to sit on him to patch him up. No, I just, I stick a bunch of napkins on. No, Billy. That's not good enough. Dude freaks out when he sees it. Yeah. Yeah, this is what happens when you fight a real war. Okay, alright, okay. That's really gross. That's super gross. I don't like to look at that. It's really gross. Yeah.

And this could happen to you if you don't tell us stuff. I'm telling you everything I know. Okay. Alright. I think, I think the menders are suspicious of the High Spear Princep for some reason. They want to make sure that the war is going the way they need it to go. Do they think that he is a wizard? Or involved with wizardry? I don't know. Maybe. It is kind of their domain. Are, are the menders still looking for wizards? Like if there happened to be wizards, would they be in trouble?

What do you mean? Just, if there happened in the hypothetical. Hypothetical. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we came to town with like two wizards. What? Two plus wizards. Where is searching for wizards on their list of priorities? Yeah. Well, pretty high considering they consider them the most dangerous beings in existence. Well, good thing we didn't do that. Yeah. He narrows his eyes. We all narrow our eyes. Alright. Okay. Yeah. So what are you guys doing in town?

We have our friends the wizards. Uh huh. And they need to do something with the tower. Well, because we're suspicious too that the tower might be in danger. Yeah. The tower, the High Spear? Yeah, dude. That's the point of the fucking war. What's the, why would, what's the problem if the High Spear gets destroyed? Oh, maybe Dan doesn't have all the goddamn answers. For once. Alright.

I can't help but notice that you guys up until this second thought I was Etienne Boggins, so maybe I have the upper hand. Yeah, we didn't look hard at his face. We didn't look that hard at it. He might have aged badly. I don't know what his life is like. Whoa. Whoa. We didn't look at his face to try and remember it. Or yours, apparently. I'm a master of disguise, thank you very much. Okay, but any, so you guys are here with wizards to go to a tower. Hypothetically, yeah. Hypothetically.

Hypothetically. We might be going to the tower because the reason why the war is happening is so that the principles of the Firefields Principality can get in here and destroy the High Spear, which will disrupt communication across the globe. What do you mean? I mean, the High Spear's the only reason why everyone around the world can talk to each other without knowing each other's languages. Haven't you ever thought about that? Pasha, I say. I say pasha to that in the common tongue.

If you guys are gonna lie to me, please come up with a better lie. Okay. Okay, well what about this? Now that we know what each other's up to, why don't we just like do a little truce? Let everyone do, go about their business. Yeah. And we leave each other alone. Yeah. Truce, huh? Yeah, like you and your guys don't mess with us and we won't mess with you. Yeah, if you can keep the Menders off our back, we won't fuck with your election campaign. Someone roll a Charisma.

Okay, I have a plus three to Charisma. Yeah. Yep. Here we go. I've been blessed. Here we go. That's eleven. Okay. Nice. Yes. He kinda like drums his fingers on the table. So you'll just leave me alone. Yeah, and if anything happens to us or our friends, I'll slit your throat. Whoa, okay. That's a follow up. Yeah. That's a addendum to the agreement that I wasn't expecting but should have. It's only fair, but otherwise, we'll be cool. Yeah. Alright.

The shit that we have to do here is like super important to the war and it's super important to the world. If you disrupt us, if you let the Menders get in our way, then there's big implications. Alright. Okay, fine. So you stay out of my way, I stay out of yours. Exactly. Alright, fine. And he holds out his hand to all three of you, I guess. All three of us shaking. We do that three-way handshake. I wanna do an oath. Oh, shit. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Oh, with your last fairy hold. Yeah.

Yeah, cause I don't trust Dan, of course. That's probably smart. So smart. So, what is the oath? What happens to the person? I'll slit their throat. So to be clear, the agreement here is that if Dan breaks this agreement, his throat will get slit. Whoa. Whoa, just like magically, he'll just be dead. Or someone will do it. It will befall him. Yeah. Don't worry, Dan. I'm sure you have enough enemies out there. Is this the thing that Dan knows to be magically potent? I tell him. Yeah.

And he probably believes you. Shake his hand. It's a pinky promise. He looks really hesitant to do it. I don't know. Otherwise, I'll do it right now. I'd like to see you try. He's getting cagey now. Yeah. Okay, I wanna move really fast and get the knife up into his throat. Whoa. Uh-huh. 2d6 plus, uh, dexterity, I guess. Eleven. Okay, so I think it is actually like, he looks like he's going for something in his coat.

And as his hand is like, just breaching the barrier between coat and vest, your knife is at his throat. What are you getting? And he very, he holds up his other hand, very slowly reaches inside, and pulls out a knife. Drop it? Drops it on the table. I'll take that. It's a unicorn blade. It's a unicorn handled blade. And he's kinda, he kinda holds his hands out and is like, can't blame a guy for trying. To pull a knife on us, Dan? I mean, we're not exactly friends.

You're our oldest character, okay? You're the character that's existed the longest in this show. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. You're right. I hold a very special place in the GM's heart. Alright, fine. And he reaches out, and he pinky swears Billy. And he feels like that binding oath like, wrap around his finger and down his arm and into, around his neck. Oh, cool. Oh, so he feels like a tightness around his neck. Yeah. As long as the oath is active.

I, I gotta be honest with you guys, I was gonna sell you out. Oh, you fucking piece of shit! I really was, but fuck! Oh, this could have been so sweet. I could have sold you guys out. You piece of shit! I would have been mayor for sure. Now I gotta run on my own platform? What is your platform? I don't know. Somebody else wrote it. Taxes, something, blah blah blah. That's all people care about is taxes and sanitation and fucking education. Blah. Those are normal things. Yeah, that seems fine.

Boring. It seems like the Menders are setting you up to be an actually good mayor. No, I hate it. Anyway, alright. And he takes the little, like, fake tooth cap that he has and he slides it back over his gold tooth, puts the wig back on, flattens it out. So, I'm gonna go now. Hold on, not so fast. I have two things. One, we're gonna need a big boy's order of 50 donuts. Okay. Cause we made a promise to a guy. Alright. Two, we don't have any money. Okay. That means you're gonna have to pay for it.

God damn it. Menders have deep pockets, my friend. Yeah, they give me a per diem. This is gonna take like three days of my per diem. It doesn't fucking matter. At least you have three days. And then Vink runs his knife over his thumb over his throat. He runs his knife over his throat. Holy shit, no! He pulls Etienne's own blade across his neck. What have I done? Holy shit. He throws a poultice on there, which is waste to use. That was potent.

Alright, and yeah, he rings a little, he pulls a little cord on the wall of the private booth. Someone arrives, we'll have one order of big, a big boy's 50 donut whatever the fuck. And he gives him a bunch of coins. The guy comes back with the donuts. It's a huge bucket. Cause these aren't 50 mini donuts. These are full-size donuts. And everything else was served in like crystal vases, and this is just a plastic bucket. Yeah, a plastic bucket. A full-on plastic bucket.

A five-gallon pail full of donuts. It looks like Big Boy's Donuts might have at one time been more like a Dunkin' Donuts kind of place, but it's now under new management. And they tried to upscale it. But some of the remnants still survive. They couldn't find a crystal chalice big enough to hold 50 donuts. No one could carry it once it was full. And like three times a day, some blue-collar guy comes in and it's like, I'll get a large black coffee, please. They're like, sir, you gotta go.

You gotta go. That's why they have the jackets. Yeah. Just a bunch of construction workers shoving themselves into jackets over their work gear to get coffee. I miss the way this place used to be. But I did have another question. Uh-huh? Before you get out of here, Dan. Uh-huh? There's one last thing I wanna know. Who poisoned your meat? You really wanna know, huh? No, that's not the question I wanted to ask. So you really wanna know? I mean, now that you bring it up, I kinda wanna know.

After all these years, huh? Yeah. You really wanna know? Spill the beans! Come on. It was Etienne Boggins. What? Why? Because he wanted me out of town. Why? Maggie wanted me out of town. Oh. Yeah. Because she knew that you were a spy? She thought it was a little… Well, I wasn't at the time. Uh-oh. You weren't at the time? She thought it was a little convenient that I showed up at the time that I did. And maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Because you were in military intelligence, right?

Intelligence? He… You can see, like, his… He gives away something in the fact that he gives away absolutely nothing in that moment. What do you mean? Like, you served… Like, we met Walter Wick. What do you mean? Like, we met Walter Wick, we know Dathaniel, like, we know the way that those guys operated. We kind of know that you served in the army, because you told us that one time impudently. Did tell you that when I had a concussion, didn't I? When you had that concussion.

I did let that slip. So, we've kind of guessed that you served either within Dathaniel's talent or somewhere in the ranger army. And then Ving does a move that he knows from the training. Because, you know, he's part of the… Growing up in it. And he does, like, a… He throws a knife at Dan's face. Yeah, sort of. He throws his own knife at the side of his… You know, like, it deflects it off the wall, bounces off the wall, and it's coming for the side of his face.

And as the knife is, like, coming for the side of Dan's face, his hand shoots up and he grabs it. Whoa. By the handle. And he flips it on its blade and hands it back to you. That's yours. Oh. I'll take it. No, I missed that. It's mine. They don't have any more of these in Blades Palettes or whatever. Well, you guys magically bound me to a thing or I'd get my throat cut. So I can trust you to keep this secret, right? We've been traveling long enough. I was a Kestrel. What's that?

Oh, you guys don't know. Oh. A high-ranking general. Uh, no. Um, I guess the closest example that you would have in regular principalities military is Special Forces. Oh. Where, uh, individuals outside the regular rank structure trained in, uh, espionage, infiltration, you know, the usual kind of sneaky, sneaky stuff. Oh. And, uh, once I decided that I wanted to head out, I felt like my training made it a sort of natural fit for me to get up to the sorts of shenanigans I get up to.

Did you know Dathaniel and Walter? I did, yeah. Okay. Well, uh, Walter trained me. Hmm. He trained Dathaniel, too. He did. Did you ever meet me? You were very young. Ugh. I've always been their thing. Why are you so mean to us? Well, cause you guys are mean to me. What? No. Shut your stupid, ugly mouth. Yeah, you guys are super mean to me. All the time. Remember you made me, you bullied me into leaving my schloss meat behind? Oh. No, we were not.

That was the first thing that anybody listening to this show heard happen to us and me. No, that schloss meat sucked. We all remember. I was selling that. I had to sell that to make my living at that time. We were stating a preference of ours over his… Hmm. Yeah, you're bullies. You bullied me. You did bully him. Okay, fine. We're sorry. We're sorry. That is true and you are right and we apologize. And we're not just saying it. Are you guys really sorry? Yeah, I'm sorry.

Yeah, I actually feel bad about that. Yes. We were wrong. Ugh, wow. I've been, I've been holding that in my heart for years. That's why you've been an asshole to us? For the last two years? I mean, that and all the other times you guys were assholes to me. That's just what started it. I hope that this can be a gesture, a gesture towards our new relationship. Yeah. One where you don't end up with your throat cut. Yeah, I'm sorry. I really can't take it back, but if I could, I would.

It's an unbreakable oath. It is. It's okay. I'm not gonna betray you guys. Alright. And Tuck goes, as a gesture of goodwill, and he takes the guitar off of his back and he puts it in the case. He snaps it closed. He pushes it across. I want you to have this. Why? Then Tuck just shrugs. Takes it back. Okay. Then he kinda like awkwardly reaches out and takes this gigantic bass lute and like jams it into the booth next to him. That's yours now. Thanks, I guess.

I feel like it was probably important to me at one point. I can only assume so. I feel like I might have only had it for like five episodes, maybe. Cool. And now I've got it. Yeah, now you have it. Yeah, and I don't play an instrument. Yeah. Yet. Yet. Yeah. You're never too old to learn. You know what they say? The best time to plant a tree 20 years ago. The second best time to plant a tree is today. Right now. Alright. And you know what they say?

It's the best time to learn how to play an instrument. 20 years ago. The second best time to learn to play that instrument. Is 19 years ago. And then the third best time I think I get the idea. I think we should all leave. No, I wanna hear him out. I think we should all leave now. I think we should all leave. Wait, I did have one more question. Sorry. I did, I, this is. You got my secret thing out. You guys found out it was a kestrel. That's a huge thing. That's a huge thing.

To you, it clearly didn't do much to us. You know what happens if you literally tell anybody this and you're still in the great forest? No. They fucking kill you. What? How does Vingna know about this? Cause you were in a kestrel. Why don't you think? Cause we're secret. That's so secret. Yeah. Well we won't say anything. You better not cause it's gonna be bad for me. We're not gonna tell anybody. We promise you we're not gonna tell anybody. I have a lot, lot of enemies.

You guys think I have enemies as a criminal? You wouldn't believe the amount of enemies I have as a kestrel. Holy shit. Okay. That's why I left the forest. They hate me there. They hate my dad there. They threw my dad in a cage just for being my dad. Oh wait. Was that your dad up there? Was your dad a wood weaver? Yeah. Your dad is so cool. You guys met my dad? We love your dad. Yeah. He's awesome. My dad is great. How is he? He's doing good. He's doing pretty good. Is he still in a cage?

He's still in a cage. Cool. Really rocking the cage. It seems like he just comes and goes. Yeah. Yeah, that's my dad. He seems pretty happy in there. I think he's kinda chosen the cage as like a, almost as a shield. Yeah. To live his life however he wants. Oh man, that really, that really does the heart good. My plan was eventually to go back and get him. Oh yeah. Yeah. I don't know if he wants to leave though. He's, yeah, he's sort of got like kind of a Stockholm syndrome thing going. Cool.

Cool. We watched him jerk off once in a cage. Cool. Your dad is pretty cool. Your dad's pretty cool. Alright, well that's good. That's good he's doing good. Yeah. Seriously, if you tell anybody that I was a kestrel, I will die. Okay, we're not gonna tell anybody. Okay. Yeah. Have you heard of what's going on with Maggie? No. Okay. Was she with you? Oh right, yeah, you guys left and, yeah, I think I heard something. She's, I got a message through some channels, some back channels.

She's up north somewhere. She made it? I think so. Okay. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Uh, but you had a question? That was it. What, what's going on with Maggie? Yeah, she's up north somewhere. That's the last I heard. Okay, cool. I could try and get a message to her. Uh, yeah. Actually, yeah. What did we say? Just tell her we're here. Oh yeah, at the High Spear. Yep. Okay. We're staying at the Spearmint B&B. For now. She'll be okay with that? Yeah. We don't tell her about our wizard friends?

Oh, she, I think she chilled out. She knows Morrison Perreault. Yeah, she was with you in the tower. I forgot where we left off. She's accepted their role in what needs to happen. Yeah. Once she learned about like the Gibbous Man and stuff like that, she was like, okay, we've got bigger fish to fry. Yeah. And if these wizards want to help, then what am I gonna do? Yeah. Tell her that the box has, and I wink at him, and I go, has safely been delivered to the High Spear.

Is she gonna know what that means? Yeah. It might take a while for the, who knows how long it'll take to get this message to her. But I'll do it again. Okay. Alright. Thanks, Tan. Despite how it is actually to see you, it's nice to see you. Okay. He gets up and he smooths his bob wig on his head. Makes sure his ears are hidden under the hair. You look good. Thanks, thanks. He puts his- The oral. Hey. You know it, buddy. And, make sure I don't see you around these parts again, you rapscallions.

Oh, we promise you won't. You absolute scoundrels. Be sure to fuck off now. And he walks out the door and stomps away. Yeah. And leaves you alone. I take the donuts. Yeah, right. Yeah, you gotta take the donuts back to Thandie. Yeah. Uh, so you're leaving Big Boy's Donuts. Thank you for coming to Big Boy's Donuts. Please come again. Thank you for having us. Uh, please leave your jackets in the big bin outside the place. For jackets. So we do, yeah, we toss our jackets back there. Great.

And as you're leaving, you're walking back down towards the exit and, uh, you're stopped in the hallway by a number of mall security. They've got their- they've got swords, dulled like baton swords. They've got their little security shields. And they're like, Halt! You have committed a crime! Whoa. Within the realm of the Highspear Mall. What are you talking about? What crimes do you accuse us of? Shoplifting. The highest crime in the Highspear Mall. You have been ordered detained.

On order of Head of Mall Security, Tina Durger. What? And took us- what are we accused of shoplifting? One. Giant two-necked loot. One. Small seahorse knife. One. Bag of illicitly stolen music bottles. And then took us to the Highspear Mall. And we're like, Well, I don't see any two-necked loot. And then I clocked Dan walking out the front door. And I'm like, Oh, there's that guy with the loot! Get him! Look, he's got- it's so obvious he's got a two-necked loot with him! Roll 2d6 plus charisma.

This is perfect. Let's get him! Clankle, clankle, clankle, clankle. Oh, that's 11. And they turn and they see Dan with the loot. Walking and they go, Hey, stop! And they all turn and start chasing Dan. And you see Dan look at you guys like, What the fuck? And that's where we're- And that's where we're gonna end the episode. I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdulaziz. Still there. Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Hoppers.

Take care, everyone. Playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. Thank you to Erin Reid for her intro and outro music. If you want to listen to Erin's original music, which I highly recommend, check it out at erinreid.bandcamp.com. And if you want to listen to all of the music produced for the show, you can find us on Spotify. Uh, thank you to all of our supporters around the world. They support us, not just with their love, adoration, and listening powers.

They support us on Patreon, which you can do at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. What do they get when they support us? Oh, brother, let me fucking tell you. Postcards. Drawn and written by the team. Us. The crew. The up-to-date Mall Brats feed. Yeah. Dozens of episodes of Mall Brats, unreleased. Oh, you're gonna love it. Raw. Uncut. No, they're cut. They're very cut. Yes. Uh, it's actually cleaner that way.

Uh, and they also get access to things like games run by Abdul and myself at the higher levels. That's right. Gift boxes, merch, you're gonna love it. So check it out at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. I guessed it on a recent game that Sean ran where I played a Canadian action hero called Jesus Sinclair. You better believe he did and it was so much fun. And if that sounds cool to you, you can have that in your life.

Thank you finally and most of all to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore. Thanks for watching.