Tag: Dungeon World

Hey, Tuck here. We're running low on funds because Billy dropped our fanny pack into the ocean and that had all our money in it. Please go to patreon.com slash speltlore to donate more money to us so that we can replace the fanny pack. Also, mirrors. We need to buy new mirrors. Where did we get that guy?

You know them by name, you know them by deed Their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you An adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home He loves to sing and fight Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape And wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size Does max the largest heart Best and brightest, they may not be But they're free to be Friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round, friends And listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Speltlore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, Abdul Aziz. Hello. Paul Oppers. Hello. And Jessica Tai. Hello. Merry Christmas, everybody. Yeah. Here I am. Happy Christmas. And Charlie. Get ready for the war on Christmas. Welcome to our Charles Eve Spectacular. Spe-spe-spe-spe-spe-spectacular. Oh, cut that out. Spectacular. Welcome to what we're calling Charles Eve at Hither and Yon. Today we're going to be playing Stew Pot by Takuma Okada.

Stew Pot is a storytelling game in the Firebrands family of role-playing games about adventure games. It's about adventurers that have hung up their weapons, laid down their shields, put their spell books on the shelf. More of those. Taken their small vial of poison and put it with their larger vials of poison. Had a dagger and put it under their pillow.

Forsaken their god and taken their nine millimeter Beretta handgun and put it in a carved out Bible that they hide in their house for when vampires come. To run a fantasy tavern together. Uh, Stew Pot, previously available on Ish.io very excitingly, is going to be published in the future by Evil Hat. That's very exciting. Cool. Crowdfunding campaign will come in the future at some point, I believe sometime in the new year.

But thanks to Takuma Okada for sending me the, uh, most recent playtest documents. Really appreciate that. Oh, really nice. Yeah, very, very kind. Nice. So today, that is what we'll be doing. We're going to be playing a little Stew Pot. It's a pretty chill storytelling game. Game comprised of a number of mini games with different kinds of scenes and scene work. First things first, we're going to build the tavern. Ooh. But we already know what the tavern is. Oh, yeah. So let's just remember it.

Yes. There are a couple things I need to write down. So we will. Thanks, Jessica. I am doing my best. Hither and Yon is a bar slash inn that exists in many places. Yeah. It chooses where it goes based on criteria that no one should know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That no one is privy to. Who built the inn? Nobody knows. Was it a wizard? Nobody knows. There's nothing in it in its make or like structural signature that maybe we'll find out, but not now. Did Mears find out?

Does he control where it goes? We're genuinely about to play a game that may or may not answer these questions, so I refuse to answer them for you. Wow. Okay. I mean, whatever. We're all taking notes of that. Okay, Sean. Okay. It's sus. Huge dick energy. Kind of sus. Gonna just do this. I'm trying a long dick. Why is the head so big and the ball so small? Wait, what happened? That looks backwards. It does. Does that giant dick have a tiny pussy on it?

This is gonna be our holiday special with the most bleeps by far. Why'd you put Sean? Because of your big dick energy. So yeah, like the location is the first thing you're supposed to write down and the location of Hither and Yon is many and none. So the next thing is the look. What do you guys remember Hither and Yon looking like? Wood. Yeah, it's like an old style cozy tavern. There was a big leather couch in front of a fireplace. Yeah. Everything's pretty shabby. Yeah.

Because it is a place that has not been visited very much. Dusty furs. Yes. Yeah, dusty furs, barrel tables. Plaid. Plaid what? Just, just, just, just, just, just, just stuff like fabric. I don't know, like a blanket. Like a lot of tartan? Yeah. Maybe some of the chair covers? Seat covers? Oh yeah, totally. I imagined velvet. Was there any like red velvet anywhere? There are some red velvet, like it's a hodgepodge. Yeah, I think it's a hodgepodge of stuff. Oh, I love that.

And then it's got, it's like right when you come in, the bar's right across from the door. That's how I was imagining it. There's like a heavy wood bar, classic mirror behind it. Then it's got the kitchen and then a storage room and then, stairs that go up. I have very low ceilings in my head. It's not a lofty place. It looks like it was built to be compact. I like that. It has more rooms up top. Stone floor. Are we right there? I'm imagining cobbly.

Candles and little sconces or whatever they are. Sconces everywhere. Carpets? I think a hodgepodge of rugs. Yeah, I like that. I was imagining also some of the tables. I know you said barrel tables but also some of them were like those giant wheels that they spool. Oh, like cable spool tables. Yeah. With big ropes or cables and then it's like flat and then a tube and then flat on top. Yeah, giant spool tables everywhere.

Okay, so there are three ratings that the tavern has that we will work to upgrade if we so choose. The first one is cuisine. Your cuisine rating determines your tavern's ability to make food. It's not just cooking ability but includes aspects of preparation, like food storage and how easy it is to do business with suppliers. So all of these ratings start at one. Okay. So the first rating one cuisine, a cramped kitchen, a small pantry, cheap local wines, a small brick oven.

So it's like, you know, when we arrive at Hither and Yon, no one has run this place regularly for God knows how long. Oh God, so cool. Yeah. So everything's dusty, busted, whatever food and spices is here is like there's maybe super old liquor, but there's no good food. Yeah. And like five different bags, little various amounts of cumin. Yeah, exactly. And which one's the oldest one? It's impossible to tell because cumin stays good forever. Yeah.

I feel like a real Sam Malone type ran this before and then he hung his hat up and left it forever. Exactly. Yeah. Atmosphere. Your atmosphere rating determines a broad range of visual and other aspects of your tavern. It's the vibe, the feeling, the experience that your patrons get. So again, our atmosphere rating is one, which in the book is straw mattresses, narrow chimneys, bare walls. It's a dusty place. Yeah. Everything's old. Nothing's been maintained. Everything's moth eaten. Yeah.

Hanging out here kind of sucks right now. Yeah. Yeah. And then the next rating is service. Your service rating is a measure of how well your tavern operates. So the only staff right now are mirrors and Francis. Okay. And then your guys as PCs will filter in, but that's as much as we've got for service to start with. So there's a bunch of little games that we can choose and we each get to choose one and play it. Yeah. It's kind of like fiasco where we establish each of us gets to establish.

It is. Yeah. That is a good way to think about it. It's very much like fiasco in that way. Cool. Okay. So to start, we're going to go around and describe everybody, everybody's characters. For example, I am playing mirrors Bernadette Falsmith. My weapon is a simple wood, wood handled long sword. My armor is a heavy cloak and my quirk is I'm a nervous little guy. Adventure job, swashbuckler adventure experiences are duelist.

I'm a master of the blade in the rigging for climbing and acrobatic feats and sea legs to balance on any surface. And my town job is a chef Abdul. Okay. I'm going to be playing a nimble name, nimble thimble. I've decided his last name is thimble. We're doing the rhyming. My quirk is nimble is going to live forever. My armor is kindness slash a clipboard and my weapon is my wicked smarts in this knife. My adventure job was rogue and my town job is merchant.

I can try and sell a lot of stuff and then my experiences are grace nimble fingers and sixth sense. Perfect Paul. My character is Rathgar the night blade Gathgar. Everybody's getting a rhyming last name. I'm just going to add Gathgar. Excellent. My adventure job is wizard. My town job is a scholar. My weapon is a magic Leatherman and armor is a blue velvet Coke hook. Oops. It's a blue velvet coat full of pockets of Coke Coke.

My armor is a blue velvet cloak with star sewn on it and lying eyebrows and my quirk is that I'm a braggart. I'm faking it till I'm making it. My experiences are a Valinda star veil. I'm putting her down experiences. My childhood crush and high school sweetheart and then first a ex-wife. You got married in high school. We got married at our graduation. Yeah, it was a really confusing grad ceremony.

We did a we did a flash mob wedding at our grad ceremony and my experiences are organic and prestidigitation and magic missile. Yeah, and I think did you say that you were an organic and not an actual wizard? No. Okay, that's how you're playing it though, right? I'm playing it that he's like actually a trickster with all these little gadgets. That's his Leatherman is basically his magic wand. Yeah, yeah, perfect. Yeah, Jessica. Okay.

I am playing Fathom the hammer a dom and my weapon is a tetherball on chain. Nice. The armor is basically like a fantasy track suit. What makes it fantasy? It's like kind of just drapey and like made of like, I don't know linen. Yeah. Yeah. It's got the elastic band around the waist. So everything's tight. Yeah. Quirk.

He's a mean himbo slash like some construction worker energy adventure job fighter and adventure experiences are intimidation, brute strength and legendary weapon, which refers to his tetherball and chain because he won. He I think won that in a tetherball competition slash he like stole it. Yeah. Um, okay. I like that. He stole it. I like that too. You won the World Cup of tether. He did, but he stole the tetherball and they're like, you're not supposed to take that.

Um, his town job is a crafter, specifically ceramics. I love it. Yeah. Perfect. And that is the character. So now we will play the game. The way the game works is it's a series of scene based like mini games. The first of which is always called the first step before you decided to put down roots here before you found this group of friends. What were you doing? So I'll, I will go first. By way of introduction to the scene, the door closes. Mirrors stands in hither and yon.

The party has just left on their adventure to recover Perel from the eye of the storm. Whoa, that's soon. Yeah. Wow. Small boy in the middle of a large room. Uh, Francis, the pig still going to town on something in the fireplace on a pot of leftover chowder that Billy helped him make the night before. And he's just kind of standing there. He's got his his metallic hand gripped in his other hand. Just like, uh, huh? Okay, there's like creaking in a yeah, another floor.

You hear like a like howling and like like laughter and screaming from high, high up a thunder crack in a boom as chimes. We know calls the attention of the storm away from the party as they escape the tower. Oh, and mirrors. Dust falls from the rafters onto his head. He's like, uh, uh, uh, okay. And he just goes to the kitchen and he starts messing around with stuff, you know, safe place. Yeah, he's like digging around. He's looking at all these old herbs. He's picks ones up, smells it.

No, that's old. This is all this is any digs. Uh, it looks like an herb has fallen out of a jar onto some sort of like wet patch of dirt and has like rooted and grown into like some little leaves of something. Oh, it's like, oh, okay. He sniffs those and starts just whipping up something in the kitchen for him and Francis. It's like it starts as a soup and it becomes something kind of hard and pasty because he doesn't have enough liquid to keep it soft in here.

And he sets down at the bar and puts a little bowl of the soup on the ground for Francis to start lapping up and just kind of enjoys the food by himself and tries to ignore the silence that he now hears only in the bar. And I'm going to take the town experience refined palate. Oh, a sense of taste second to none. Wow. I imagine we see like days pass as he like, you know, dust some stuff and like a rearranges some furniture to make it more comfortable.

And then one day suddenly the door opens and someone walks in. It's nimble. Oh, yeah. Nimble runs in nimble runs in and slams the door. Uh-huh. Back up against the door. Yeah. And you see like six guards run past. He was going to live forever. He whispers to himself. What do you what do you how did you who are those? What are you? Did you sail here? And he goes, ah, I thought this was an abandoned building. No. What?

And he mirrors comes out from behind the bar and kind of pushes nimble to the side and opens the door and sees the streets of crystal bag. He slams the door. He opens it again. A rebel in full slams the door. Did you what? This is usually like an empty building with a bunch of like disused bakery stuff in it. Hey, we're still fighting the boys. Yeah, you're getting there. And it was gonna live forever. That's how I find it again.

And yet he mirrors opens the door one more time and looks like to either side and it is a row of like empty warehouses. But hanging on the wall is one of those like chain and board signs that says hither and yon. Yeah, cute. And then he slams the door again. I know you know you don't you've never heard me before in my life or your life, which I'm going to take and then nipple pulls out of that. Hey, chill out. What are you? I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. Who are you? I'm nimble. Hey, come on.

Put the knife down. No, come on. Put the one of us is going to live forever. Mears reaches out with his metal hand and snatches the knife and nimble holds on to it and gets her picked up by the night. Hey, hey, hey, calm down. Just relax. I'm Mears. I'm going to put you down now. You're not going to stab me, right? Yes. You just looked really sideways at Jessica. I'm going to trust what you're saying is what I mean. And gently put you down. And then the book holds the knife for a second.

He squints his eyes and he goes, My name is nimble and I'm going to live forever. And if anyone says any different, they're fucking liars. Do you want something to eat? No. Yes. And we cut forward to the mere standing behind the bar like a real bartender vibe. And nimble is like relaying to me. I'm going to put you down. I'm going to put you down. I'm going to put you down. I'm going to put you down. I'm going to put you down.

And nimble is like relaying the events that happened to that day to get him to this point. Yeah. And he's going, So that's what an egg grift is. All right. You take a rotten eggs, you switch them out for good eggs, and then slowly you got a good dozen. And then you sell that good dozen for premium prices to the highest bidder. And that is a great way to spend a day making $12. And they're great. They're great eggs. You really did a good. The four of the eggs from the dozen are missing.

And it mirrors in a nimble or eating eggs. Yeah. There's like an egg carton on the counter. Yeah. You know, you got to re I'm, I mean, if you know how to get some more stuff, you know, this place is missing a lot of things. What kind of stuff are you talking about? And what kind of payment terms are we talking about here? Oh, you know, like produce and meats and vegetables. That's a kind of produce. If you didn't know spices, drinks, you know, the whole thing.

I figured if I'm going to be here for a while and apparently this place goes to where people need it, then it should probably have some stuff for people that come here. Okay. I can do that. What do you say? Partners. What do you say to being nimbles? Number two. Okay. All right. I'm thinking a title kind of like chief visioning officer. All right. I don't, I understand none of those words, but I, I respect that you probably do. Okay. Deal. Deal.

And he holds out the knife again for him to shake and he shakes it with his metal hand and nimble is going to get one of the experiences from merchant, I guess, network able to obtain anything. Perfect. Yeah. So at some point if we reach a narrative problem, you would be able to cross that off and find a line on something we really need. Okay. And then I think it's the same thing. I think a couple more days pass, maybe a week or two of Mears and nimble living in the bar. Think a few weeks. Yeah.

People filter in and out. Maybe it stays in crystal bay for a while. Then one day someone else wanders through the door. A polite knock at the door. Come in. Mears is behind the bar. The door is locked. Why is the door locked? He runs around. And then the door flies over the puff of smoke, sparks flying everywhere. Blue smoke. Oh my gosh. Oh, the door was locked. And then a knife flies through the air. And it beds into the doorframe next to you. And then you hear nimble from the back go, shit.

Nimble. Nimble. Welcome, traveler, to Hither and Yon. Is this the hiring agency? I was looking for the next big, beautiful opportunity for an agency to have Rathgar, the night blade Gathgar. And Mears takes the pamphlet that you're holding out that says, now hiring Hither and Yon. Big new opportunity. And he turns to Nimble and goes, Nimble, did you put these out? I maybe did. Okay. Mears is very notably to Rathgar, a 14 year old boy. I'd like to talk to the manager.

And then Nimble steps forward. No, no, no. Oh my God. I'm the manager, I guess. Innkeeper. Innkeeper. Ha ha ha. Tuffs his hair. Don't. Adorable. So he goes over to a table and sits down and like kicks a stool over to Rathgar. What are your qualifications? Um, hello. Boom. Ball of flame. Oh. Need I show you more? Uh, yeah. Yeah, okay. Okay. Have you ever heard of the flying bears of the Midwest north? No. Uh huh. I have. Uh huh. For it was I that gave them the gift of flight.

Wait, didn't they just get shot out of a catapult and die? Have you ever heard of the living forests of the underwater sea gardens? That I actually think I have heard of. I haven't heard of that. You are looking at the architect of the ocean itself. Okay. Uh, we got a door over there that is kind of squeaky. Uh huh. Have you ever heard of a leather man? Oh. Alright, now we're talking. It's on my belt. He goes over and pulls out a Phillips screwdriver. My talents are endless. Oh.

And your shit hole is forever broken. Alright, okay. Shit hole's maybe a little strong. But he moves the door a few times and it doesn't squeak anymore. Uh huh. Oh. Magic. Um. Do you want to work here? Work here? Yep. Alright. Work here. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Work here. You're hired. Work here? I think that you'll be working for me. Why does everybody keep saying that to me?

And then Nimble goes, I can offer you the position of Chief Operations Officer. I don't know those words and you're speaking to me young man, but I like your spunk. Your penaz. Your collie munkus. I will accept. Okay. Alright. Cool. He reaches out for the clipboard, assuming it's a contract. What's on the clipboard? Uh, Nimble is illiterate, so. It's a picture of a big dick with tiny balls. Yeah. What? There's an arrow pointing at it that says Nimble. Is this like a Rorschach?

Why does this drawing of a dick look like my parents fighting? And Paul is going to choose one from one of the experiences from Scholar. Invent your way out of a sticky situation. Jury your rigging. Okay. So, the game passes as, uh, Rathgar, Nimble, and Mears all settle into life. And then one day it gets kind of warm in the bar. I think one day we're like, why is it so, so hot? Yeah. Nimble's like, take, he's, he's removing layers. Yeah. And then someone comes through the door.

Why don't you get people keep knocking? Come in, babe. Babe, are you home? What the f- Mears goes over and opens the door. Babe! Whoa! Oh, my God. You're not babe. Who are you? I'm, I'm Mears. Who are you? Name's Fadum. What is this place? Oh, this is, uh, welcome to Hither and Yarn. Explosion of blue smoke. Crackle, uh, uh, uh, uh, like a, like a lights, a blinking light. Marquee. Oh yeah. The Hither and Yarn. Welcome. Thank you. Well, thank you for your patronage. Come in, kind sir.

Can we get you anything? You're welcome.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, kind sir can we get you anything yeah I'll have like a drink of whatever you got I'm just trying to work on my voice here and while you do that I'm just gonna go to the bathroom okay uh and uh mirrors starts pouring something from a keg and is like are we are we it's really hot out there and nimble goes outside and he comes inside with like a little cup of sand and he sips it and he's like we're not in crystal bay anymore oh uh you hear fathom come out without washing his hands are you okay you seem kind of stressed out you were looking for somebody looking for my girlfriend to be honest oh I don't know she and I had a fight pretty big fight I was just trying to fight for your honor and she was like you embarrassed me in front of everyone at tetherball oh yeah and I was like but babe you don't understand I was just trying to look out for you and then nimble's like what was the fight about I was I was fighting the other tetherball team they're making like some eyes at her and like some suggestive language and they're like yo your girlfriend is hot and I was like back off dude um and so I swung this bad boy and he picks up his his tetherball on the chain and he's I smacked it so hard I broke it I I I I I smacked a a bro on the chain and he's like I smacked it so hard I broke his jaw and this thing fucking flew off and I took it with me oh that's actually pretty sick thank you I understand I can relate I know a little thing or two about embarrassing yourself in front of people that you like go on oh there's this boy back in another town named cam he was really cool and my friends tried to help me uh impress him with like a big production ah production yeah and it ended with me raising my sword in the sky and declaring how cool I was yes and then the sword got stuck in a tree branch I fell off the cart oh that's fucking weak sauce man I hit my head pretty hard I got this thing and he like opens and closes his metal hand adam reaches over and he grabs it he's like that's fucking tight oh really oh yeah that's bad ass oh next time you see kim just show it off to him oh you think you think it's cool yeah all the chicks and dudes dig metal arms they fucking love that shit I guess last time I saw me it was a hook now it's like a hand yeah you could do way more with that thing you could do all kinds of hand stuff I can well you've been doing this job here for a while well too that is true you've really got the hand job down nibbles like yeah dude whatever kind of hand jobs you want to do with this chem guy I fully support you and if this magical traveling bar ends up anywhere near this guy we will facilitate the hand job that you want to give him I want I just want to be clear I'm 14 I'm a 14 year old I'm so scared of every word that you've said and I don't want to hear any more of them for now but um what did you say your name was rath car the night blade goes!

Nice to meet you yeah I'm fathom some people call me the hammer wow cool that's a cool name it's pretty cool my name's mirrors um most people just call me mirrors mirrors this is nimble nimble I might do a finger guns and this is rathgar cto nice to meet you you're looking for a job young man you know I never considered that but I mean after what I assume is like the most embarrassing thing I've ever done in my life I've never considered that but I mean I'm a little bit of like an avoidant attachment I'd love a job yeah yeah you know what you know maybe maybe if I just like split you know if I just leave town like a fucking ghost maybe my babe will be like oh my god where'd he go and she'll care about me again when I get back yeah maybe can't hurt to just run away from your problems can't hurt is what I always do and I like you guys and I like you and I like you and I like you and I like you and I like you and I like you and you fucking weird eye what's the deal with that oh this it looks almost magical he waves his hand over it and did anything happen a cartridge pops out of his sleep yeah a dead bird falls out of his arm all three of those things a deck of cards still wrapped in plastic a dead bird I could tell you about it but it might be a little traumatic for me you don't have to say anything you don't want to fathom a tale for another time you come on in I think I'll tell it now a man who both my friend and foe but mostly my foe from enemies to lovers to enemies most mostly enemies just saying lovers you know to make the story intense ed mears knows that tuck and fathom because he's heard the name fathom and tucks fear so he's like I will not say his name he beat me in a fight he fought dirty and you know I always thought I was a stronger one but he showed me through trickery no doubt I think so yes anyway when I return to this land I will deliver that revenge that he is so dearly owed and he punches the table that's better the table collapses oh sorry about that I could probably throw together a new one for you that yeah that's okay uh but mirrors realizes like at hearing this story he's like tuck and fathom knew each other and maybe he's talking about tuck does that mean tuck and billy and ving are here in this place that we're at and he gets up and he runs to the door and he throws it open and there's just grassy fields so this place moves around that's fucking sick I mean I guess that makes sense because I thought I thought you were like my girlfriend's friend and I'm like oh this is my girlfriend's apartment so I like that this place shows up when you need it and he was going to bust into his girlfriend's apartment when she didn't want him there and then it was like no no no you don't need that you need to to go chill out with these people learn who you really are was like don't don't don't do it we gotta catch this guy before he busted on his girlfriend having sex with another tetherball player and fathom is going to get a uh experience from crafter oh so you get one of those um repair fix anything with enough time nice cool time is on our side here and that is the end of the first steps oh now how this works is we go around now how this works is an 80s style opening theme starts nimble walks on the frame and goes welcome down to hither and yon where friends hanging out and running about we got mirrors hey nimble rap car too and introducing fathom yeah and then there's a the title thing goes hither and yon and it's all of us next to the bar and it appears in the air above us and then it flickers lifting it up yeah yeah flickers and then starts like fixing it he's been like beeping on like a calculator watch and then nimble goes okay that's great let's try it one more time everyone was flat everyone was flat somehow impossible I do not know how that's possible you call me flat in your dream you better wake up and apologize you're in my dreams every night but you're chasing me into a pile of rotten tomatoes that I'm trying to sell to an orphanage well I am maybe riding your ass a little hard but we I've seen your potential boy that was a little bit of gref uh so how the game works from here is that you're going to have to go to the bathroom and you're going to be a widz and a widz widz widz draw three cards from the deck to determine what the ingredients are.

And for each card, roll two six-sided dice to determine how large the ingredient source is and where it's from. So I am going to draw three cards. Those cards are the five of clubs for one ingredient. Next is the jack of clubs. Uh-oh, clubs heavy. And the last one is the four of hearts. So I need you guys to roll two dice each. 2d6? Yeah, 2d6. And then tell me what they are and then give them to me. I got a four and a one. Four and a one. I got a one and a two. One and a two.

I got a six and a five. And a six and a five. So the first one is a house-sized ingredient that we find underground. So I think what this is, is we've noticed as we've gone on and Hither and Yon has continued operation, I think we're in a weird… We've been in this kind of weird grasslands-y place for a while. So we haven't had any customers, except for maybe a passing shepherd once in a while that's been here. So we haven't had any customers. So we haven't had any customers.

So we haven't had a bar under this tumble of rocks in the middle of a field. So we're starting to run. We were stoked that day. We were getting stir crazy. And there was a thunderstorm. That's why he ran in under the rocks. Oh yes. So somebody comes in and we're like, oh, oh, oh, oh. And I'm digging around in the back and I'm like, guys, we don't have anything. We've got nothing. We just have like oats and like a paste of some, I think it was milk, but it's paste now.

We've got ingenuity and stick-to-itiveness and talent, endless talent. Let's go. Let's cook. And we, like the storage. Room door opens and there's like a cave. Oh shit. What the fuck? And inside is a large thing that we find underground and based on clubs. Clubs are fungi, lichens, and molds. Fragrant mushrooms, yeasts, bright green and orange slimes, dried lichen, etc. And it being a five means that it is an exoskeleton of some kind.

What do we find in this cave that is like an ingredient that is a house-sized exoskeleton? I was gonna say like a sourdough starter that got out of hand. Oh yeah. It has this delicious crust on it. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, we go down and we collect a bunch of bits of this like hardened sourdough starter that we find underground. And it's like what do you think you're doing? Sentient now? Yeah. I just need a little bit of this. Is this you? A please and thank you would suffice.

Look, I just, I'm in, I'm kind of stressed out. Can I just have some of this? You mean some of me? Yeah. What are you gonna do with me? I was gonna cook you in something. Excuse me? What? Uh, yeah, I don't have any adventure experiences that might help with this. Does anybody else maybe? I have no work. I'm able to obtain anything. And he slides down on the banister. Is there a banister? I mean, I guess there is now, yeah. Yeah.

He slides down on the banister and does a hand sprink and then lands in front of the guy and he's like, hey guy, what's up? Hey. What do you want to, why don't you want to give us some of your body? What are you talking about? All of a sudden, poof, I'm in this dark cave. I used to be a bread. I'm sorry, I take on the voice of where I'm talking to. That is the easiest thing to do. I just became, all of a sudden, I poofed into the darkness and now I'm white.

The first time I see someone coming downstairs, they want to cook me up for dinner. I didn't see my friend. How about you be my friend first? You have become now more Italian than I am. Hey. You thinking, maybe if you made a little bit of pasta, I'm a favo giullo by eight. Yeah, I mean, I more agree with this. And then Nimble stabs it in the face. Here, how about this? You let me have a little piece of you and the next time we come across some sugar, I'll come down and feed it to you.

You promise? I promise. It's a Nimble guarantee and he sticks his hand into the dough. He just jiggles it around. Oh. And he pulls it out. He's like, what was that? That was your gift. So are you using your network? Yes. So when you use an experience, you cross it out. Oh, no, I can't use it anymore. Use it again. Oh, shit. That's okay. I got some star. Good way to get this stuff. Cross it out. And we take the stuff upstairs and we open the door and it is now snow blowing in through the door.

We have been teleported somewhere else and outside we find a tiny also clubs fungi, lichens and molds, but in a snowy place. So what do we find out here? It's just a tiny little thing. Yeah. Rock lichens. Yeah. What? How does it? What does it smell like? What does it look like? It'll taste like like rosemary. Oh, yeah. It's like a hanging kind of rosemary. I like that. And mirrors pops out. He's at this place freaking me out.

Just every time we close a door, it opens somewhere else, gathering a bundle of lichen, shoving it into his cloak and nipples like, I'm going to close the door like close that door. And then the wind picks up from outside and sucks. The door closed. Oh, shit. And the third place it opens onto is a desert. So these are just the three ingredients that we've drawn, basically. And the last one is hearts or animal parts or parts of animals. Juicy steaks, powdered horn, delicates, shells.

And we find that outside this door. What is the last ingredient that we find? Absolutely. A bunch of steaks. Just a bunch of steaks. Oh, my God. We're going to make beef Wellington or whatever when you circle it in bread. Yeah. It's a mountain of steaks. Are we out? Sorry. What's the area we're in right now? It's a desert right now. Okay. So we're at like a ranchers. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Stuck in his barn. Yeah, that's perfect because the trait that it gives it with the four of hearts is hostile.

Okay. So there's just like a rancher like we open up, we come out of his barn door and there's just a guy standing there next to his pile of steaks. Yeah. What are you doing here? And Fatim just says nothing and then swipes all the steaks with one arm. And close the door. That's it. Just grabs him, slams the door. Do we have to use skills every time we do actions? No. Oh, you can just improvise. Oh. Should I use a skill to make sure that farmer can't come in?

No, I think once the door closes, we're safe. Yeah, because he probably runs back in and it's a barn again. And he wonders where the giant man in the tracksuit that grabbed all his steaks went to. Yeah. So yeah, those are the ingredients that we have. We have steaks from some sort of animal, any animal in particular. Um, desert cow. Perfect. Desert cow. A.K.A. The Camel. Sure. But we can make a different kind of camel that has big old titties, just like a cow does.

It looks like a camel, except its neck is shorter like a cow. It's got big cow boobs. And horns. Can it have horns? It can have horns. And a tufty little haircut? Yep. Yep. Beautiful. Then the next thing is, uh, tasters. You're the test group for this new dish. The player characters, a small group of trusted regulars, or a guy that wandered into the bar. That's what the shepherd is. He's the guy that's tasting this new dish.

And Nimble's talking to the shepherd, and he's like, alright, I have bad news for you, my friend. Okay. We are no longer in your home country, for sure. What do you mean? And then Nimble throws the door open. And it is green rolling planes. Oh, fuck. What are you talking about? Um, I guess the Nimble's like, closes the door, opens it again. It's still the green planes. And then Nimble goes, I guess I'm a lying little kid. Okay. Alright, I'm gonna go talk to my friends. Okay.

And then as he shuffles away, he's like, Nimble's gonna live forever! And he continues to drink his drink. Why did it stay the same for him? I think the bar wanted to put him back where it got him, because he didn't need to be in here. Yeah. Which is cool. So let's just, let's describe what we're planning. What we're planning to do. So we've got a yeasty exoskeleton kind of bread goo. And it's expanding quite quickly. It's getting big. Yeah.

And then we've got these steaks that, uh, were steaks when we found them, just kind of out in the sand. So we've got sandy steaks that may or may not be old. They're dry-aged. Yeah, dry-aged in the sun. And then we've got lichens that taste like rosemary. Nice. This is great. Yeah. So what are we trying to make? Kind of like a The thing where you put a… Yeah, a little beef wellington. Oh, right, yes. A rapidly expanding beef wellington.

And there's kind of a clock on it, because we're like, we don't know how to get this thing to stop getting bigger. Uh-huh. So we gotta get this guy to eat it quick and get the fuck out of here. Before he explodes. So we make very small beef wellingtons. Yes. We've learned that the hard way. Yeah. And Nimble leans into Fatim, and he's on his shoulder and he lifts the hair on the side of his hand. He's like, Fatim. What? Can you tell me what a beef wellington is?

I've kind of just been poking at the dough. Yeah, you take, like, the good meat and then you wrap it around the dough, you cook it, it's like, kind of like a sandwich, but really fancy. Is it, like, kind of like a calzone, but with meat inside of it? Yes! It is! Oh, thank you, Nimble. I was trying to think of something really good like that, and I was just like, the closest I could get was sandwich. Okay, cool.

And Mears, who's, like, doing, like, karate chop massage to the steaks, is like, what do you mean a calzone but with meat in it? What if the calzones you've eaten had in them? Oh, no, like, feta cheese and, like, spinach? Yeah. I had a calzone for my birthday last year. Alright, Rathgar. He had a birthday calzone. He had a birthday calzone. It was vanilla and strawberry. Okay, so we begin making the beef wellington, and we know what we're trying to do.

We're trying to make a new, a hot new dish with these old, weird arcane ingredients. So what we gotta do is we're rolling dice equal to four plus our cuisine rating, which is one. Okay. So we're gonna roll five dice. Each? You all, we'll each roll one and then someone will roll one extra. Okay. So just roll them. Ooh. One. One. Two. Six and a three. Okay. So we have four things that we're putting these dice on. We're gonna choose one die for each of these ratings. Okay. One to three is bad.

Yeah. Four to six is good for goal. Then besides that, it's like one to two, three to four, five to six. Think of it like Blades in the Dark. Okay. And the choices are going to be like, or goal, whether or not you succeed at actually cooking this food. Seasoning, presentation, and texture. Who wants to assign their number to what? I'm on presentation. Okay. And then he kind of fails on it, I guess. Mears will be on seasoning. Uh, I will be on goal. I have a six. Okay.

And that means that Fatima's on texture. Yeah, absolutely no problem. Okay. So seasoning, one. Oh no. What did you forget? Or what did you put way too much of? He put sugar instead of salt. Oh, so it's really sweet? Yep. Oh no. Yeah. And that sweetness is feeding this manic yeast. That's why it keeps growing. Oh yeah. Good point. So we're in the back like pushing down this huge thing of yeast that just keeps growing. Why is it getting so big?

And Nimble is like wringing his little hands and he's like, I got a confession to make to you guys. What? I traded the salt for the sugar. Because I was trying to do a classic salt grift. Oh no. So the sugar is probably why it's expanding so much. What? No fucking way. And then Fatima's so mad he starts taking his anger out on the steaks. Punching them. Nice. I got a two, so that's not great. Two. Um, he punched them so hard they became minced beef. Yeah. Just a bunch of hamburger.

Two on texture is food probably shouldn't be this texture. Yeah. You don't want like meat paste inside of beef Wellington. Oh, so it's sweet meat and then it's like the meat is like gooey. Oh yeah. Kind of making a mince meat mince meat pie. Yeah. So presentation. Yeah, we got a three. Okay. So the dish looks pretty good. Everything is right where it needs to be. Describe one flourish they're proud of. When you cut into it, blue liquid comes out and he's proud of it, but it looks awful. Watch.

Do it again. Oh, fantastic. Uh, but goal is yeah, six six. So you succeed. A taster gives you a compliment. So the guy like the shepherd who's sitting at the bar eating this weird puffy beef Wellington pie like don't Donald eat up now. He's like, you know what? I like the way the goo makes me forget that inside the meat is actually meat that should be a different shape and fathoms like really proud of himself. What do you? What do you call this thing?

It's like growing in his mouth to like he has to chomp down on the yeast. It it's called the everlasting beef stopper. Yeah. Yeah, because it stops you up, keeps you from going. So if you ever have to go a long time without taking a little doozy, you have one of these and it plugs you up good so you can run forever or hibernate for years. That's perfect because I'm a shepherd. I'm out in the grasses all the time.

I don't always have time to take a shit now with those nimble sheep of yours are always running off. I do like the nimble keeps bringing the word nimble into all this sense. You know what? Just pretty good. I'm going to tell my friends about this and he dabs his mouth off and gets up and heads back out into the grasslands. Does he pay us? He does. Yeah. A couple coins. Great. Can we frame these coins? Put it on the wall of the buyer behind the buyer. Beautiful.

Everybody standing around the coins at the end of the day. Wow. I told you we could do it. We're a really good team. Everybody come on. I'm feeling emotional guys. Come in. Come on. Say things that you like. Come on. No, this is too much emotion for me. I'm just going to go sit in the booth over there. Okay. Wait, nimble. Come on, buddy. And nimble goes you can have my emotions when you pry it out of my cold dead heart. Okay. All right. Rat Rathgar. Rathgar. Yes. Great job, man. Exactly. Encore.

I bet you're saying inside your head. Well, there's plenty more where that encore came from. Young man. Put her there. Puts his hand out. He goes out to shoot. He does the thing and he goes magic and everybody leaves mirrors and he's standing there behind the bar looking at the framed coins that are like jingling around in the bottom of a picture frame because no one thought to actually adhere them to the frame. But he has a little smile on his face. He's very proud of the day's work.

After you finished resolving tasting the dish, you can write down any NPC that really liked the dish as a permanent NPC. If you're going to make this dish a permanent part of the menu, come up with a name. How do customers react? Oh, my God. I mean, shepherd's pie. Seems. Oh, my God. It's a shepherd's pie. We're having a staff meeting and and Rathgar says that we're like, oh, that's a good name. I'm Rathgar. Stop it. There is another. There's another dish called a shepherd's pie.

Well, soon we will take that dish name over. Okay. Shepherd's pie. All right. Yeah. You're going to take the food world by storm. I tell you. Okay. I like it. Shepherd's pie. Well done, everyone. And mirrors goes over to the chalkboard behind the bar that says like specials and writes shepherd's pie. Cute. Two coins. Two coins. He erases it. Three coins. Now he erases it and puts it in the two coins. Okay. All right. And that is the end of tasting the dish.

Now because you guys don't know what the games actually are. Abdul, do you want to choose one next? Yes. Okay. So the games we have are NPC side quest and NPC gives you a side quest. Where in tear is us fixing up the bar market day. We go to a market to buy some things we need homegrown. We're growing some ingredients ourselves. Yeah. Romancing a stranger. Oh, a stranger comes into the bar that is romancing somebody off the clock. That's just us hanging out.

I think a friendly tavern brawl breaks out festival day. There's a festival. We end up in a bard's tale. A bard shows up to tell stories about someone in the bar and people are kind of arguing about like how the story is wrong or trying to tell the right story. Oh, a glass of the gods, which is somebody. An adventurer comes in to tell their tale of woe basically to the bartender. These are all great. They're good prompts. Yeah.

Let's do romancing a stranger to start because I think that that is funny. Classic horny Abdul. So what romancing the stranger is someone in the tavern makes eye contact with you and their gaze lingers a little longer than you'd expect. Your coworkers urge you on and make every excuse they can to send you over to talk to the lovely stranger. One pair plays. One person is the romancer and one person is the stranger. I will be the stranger. Okay. Yeah.

So you're the person that comes into the bar and is like ooh la la. Yes. Yes. So Fatim just got out of the shower and he's in a cut phase. And he's just got like his little teeny tiny towel around his waist. Wasn't expecting anybody. Throws his hair back. It's wet. Yeah. What is the consistency of Fatim's hair? Just out of curiosity. At first I thought he had no hair, but then you guys remind me he has hair. So I think it's actually like longish. Is it like Fabio style hair? Yeah.

Oh, like really long. Oh. Like Momoa long. Holy shit. That's cool because I think last time we saw him he had like it shaved on both sides and it was like kind of a ponytail, but he's let his hair grow out. He's got a beard now. It's him getting into a softer kind of vibe. Yeah. Nice. So how just for the listener how this game. He doesn't have a beard. He doesn't have a beard? No, I fucked up. Oh, okay. That's fine. Yeah. No beard. Okay. No beard. Long hair. No beard. Five o'clock shadow. Okay.

Perfect. Oh, yeah. He forgot to shave in the shower. Yeah. And as he walks into the bar nimble who has found a saxophone at the last town they were in is like he's on the bar like doing the Kenny what's his name? It's Careless Whisper. Yeah, but he's doing like the hip movement. Oh, yeah. I see. And Rath has been experimenting with this globe that's covered in tiny little mirrors and he's hanging up for making lights go into all the corners of the thing and he's shining this blue light.

So as soon as he comes out the saxophone starts up basically a disco ball goes and there's no read in the saxophone. So it's nimble literally going to do to do to do and as Fatum comes into the room with his like towel just out of the shower mirrors is not looking at him very stiffly not looking at him beet red. Yeah, he's just like a lot of onions.

So loud his own metal fingers so who comes into the bar a tall redheaded woman angular features and we're in a snowy landscape and she wearing a fur lined parka. Yeah, she's got a fur lined parka like high heel for high heel boots. She's got opera gloves. Yeah. Yeah, for aligned opera. Yeah, and she walks in with her hair. Underneath like a scarf to start a fur lined scarf and then she like she pulls the scarf off and then as the do do do do Kenny Rogers careless whisper is going Kenny Rogers.

Sorry. It's a Kenny Rogers version of it. Yeah, but she like whips her hair out and it's like long flowing red hair and the audience recognizes her as Allison. Of course. Yeah, of course. Okay, so Fatum sees us and he slips down the stairs because he's just like, whoa, and he slides all the way down tumbles boom boom boom his towel falls off and he's like, oh, I'm so sorry and he pulls it up like just covering his crotch. Oh, you slide down the stairs into the tavern. Yeah. Okay. All right.

I got you which is like the foyer of the outside zone. Excuse me. Welcome to welcome to hither and yon my lady then Allison puts a long red nail in her mouth and she like kind of like cheekily looks down at Fatum's tackle box and she's like kind of lost some of your linens there. Yeah. Yes. And Fatum he wants anyway he's thinking to himself. He's like trying to do some moves some poses, but he's got to keep like one hand holding.

The towel is crotch and then he like leans up against the window like it but it's too far away. And so he's like really leaning totally can I get me. Are you just a table for one and then Allison's like, yeah, I and then she like again in a very predatory way looks him up and down. She's like I stopped in for dinner right this way and he's walking backwards like leading the way to the table, but he's facing her so that she doesn't see his butt. Okay. No, he's got he's holding the towel up. Okay.

She's like, oh, thank you. Fatum. My name is Fatum. Okay, Fatum. Thank you. I am Allison. That's a hot name. The camera rack focuses over to mirrors behind the bar and he looks over at Allison. And then looks away and scurries into the kitchen right mirrors met Allison knows that Allison is a succubus and as mirrors like runs into the kitchen. She like just barely misses him behind the bar because she knows she would be made if she saw yeah. Yeah.

Here's the menu and let me slip into something a little more comfortable. There and he's got the table with like a cloth. It's so well set and then he grabs it and yanks out the the tablecloth and it comes out perfectly and then wraps it around Fatum. Thank you. And Allison's been perusing the menu and she's like, you know what? I don't see you on this. Adam was in the process of taking the towel out to wrap around like a fancy scarf and he falls over again. He has no shell.

One of the prompts is I trip and fall against you. What do you say? He falls over and accidentally grabs her boob. And he's mortified. I am so sorry. That was totally an accident. And then she she like steadies him by grabbing his big biceps and she like pushes him up and then squeezes them for a second and he flexes and and then she because like her predatory instant kicks in she squeezes tight enough to like leave nail marks.

And then in response to him like grabbing her boob she goes, oh, I hadn't planned on that for a couple of hours. Would you like red or white wine? Red for me always. Yeah. And then he sprints to the kitchen. I know, right? You gotta be you gotta be careful. Why? Be careful because I'm gonna fucking bust. Take it slow, my friend. Think of tetherball. Remember. Think of tetherball. You're right, my friend. The mirrors goes beet red again. Just an embarrassment at being around adult sexuality.

And it's just like, I'm gonna I'm gonna make you food. Okay. What's the best ball of red we got, Mears? And he goes over to a crate of dusty bottles and he starts holding them up to the light and blowing dust off the label. I think this one's red. Perfect. And he grabs two huge wine glasses on his way out. He's pouring as he's running. Okay. Takes the cork out with his mouth. Yeah. Wrathgar, bud. You mind lighting? I'm lighting candles from across the bar. They're lit.

A little bit of her hair goes on fire and then he runs over and squirts some sort of weird foam on it. It's like all part of the fun theater. It's like Chuck E. Cheese in here. I was wondering like, okay, how did Wrathgar light the candles? But now I'm imagining he put candles down with fuses that were going to light in 45 seconds and was like, please ask me to light the candles. Please ask me to light the candles. Please ask me to light the candles. And I'm a good friend, so I did. C.F.

Adams sets the wine like sloshed. It's sloshed everywhere. Sets the wine down in front of Allison like, my lady. Allison takes the glass of red. It's full to the brim and soaked. Yeah. And Fadams is also full to the brim and he's like chugging it like. And Allison chugs too, actually, but she's doing it effortlessly. Fadams like, wow, you are an impressive drinker. You're really guzzle. You're really fit a lot. You can really fit a lot in that big, big mouth. That big mouth. Allison laughs.

And she is starting to like blush, like get red. And she's honestly like everything Allison does is basically like fake human emotion, right? So she drank this much to force the physical body to blush. So she's like, she is like snaring a trap. Like, that's all. Allison cares about. So she laughs in a very like you're hilarious kind of way. And she's like, why? I feel like I've met you before. Probably in your dreams or in my dreams because you're my dream woman.

And she's like, maybe I could see having a dream about you. And he's like flexing, like posing in different ways. Like, oh, yeah. And she's like, oh, teller ball McCall, you're the hammer. I am. You are the game. She's like, yeah, I was at all the games. I had the season's pass last year. No way. Yeah. You kind of just disappeared. Saw me play. Yeah. You were like the best in the league. And then she like starts spouting a bunch of like this is she's basically being like, yeah, jock catnip.

Yeah. And he is enamored. Yeah. She's like just spouting stats like about like number of yards gained, number of glass figurines shattered, number of nut taps. You had more than anyone else in the league history. And you did that in one season. Wow. And if Adam has already imagined his life with Allison and the children and he's picked out names and stuff. And Allison is like, she's feeding on all of this. Yeah. He's just like, Allison, you know me so well. You know the game better than I do.

And he's like crying because he's so in love. All those tears for her. Wow. Allison, I feel like you and I have known each other. Yeah. Yeah. Our whole lives. And I could tell you, I don't usually get this emotional at all, especially for all ladies. I hope you can forgive me. I just never been so. No one's ever seen me like this. And then she lays a hand next to his hand. But like that thing where it's like the fingertips are barely touching the side of the pinky. Yes. Just like a molecule.

Oh, my God. Yeah. The hottest hand touch. Yeah, definitely. Because she's like she's trying to generate as much lust as possible. Because what's happening right now is she's being hunted. Oh, yeah. And she was like starving. She broke out of a prison in the frozen north and she was starving. And she was she found this bar and she I guess maybe that's why the bar showed up here to feed her. Yeah. Even her scruples are hungry. Like she is putting aside her like want to be a good person.

Yeah, totally. And she's not killing everyone in here. Still. She's. She got to eat. Yeah. And she is. That's the thing about Allison. I think she's like cognizant of like she's like I can't just kill people, but I have to break this guy's heart. So I have enough energy to fucking escape that mob of what might be like warlocks or whatever. Oh, I can. I can. Yeah, I think. Iconoclasts. Yes. She's. Oh, God. I wish I could tell you what she was thinking right now. Do you know? Yeah.

Oh, I have an idea. Whoa. Oh, what is the rules around? This? I don't know. I'm realizing the power I've put in each of your hands. That could really be a problem for me later. Yeah. I could tell you guys this. Was this something for Spout Lore that you knew already? No, no, no. I just came up with it. But you can try and get it out of me because Phantom hasn't asked her any questions. Right.

And he's like, sorry, I feel like I'm talking mostly about myself and that I've just I've never been on such a good date. So like, where are you from? You know, tell me about yourself. And she does this, like, stretch. Yeah. And he is hard. He's been hard this whole time. He's like, faint. It's the kind of thing that, like, she does a stretch and crosses her legs in a way that like the hairs on the backs of everyone's neck stand up even years.

But his in like, there's a tiger in the bar kind of thing. Actually, can I can I throw something in there that is like kind of canonical? So Allison stretches like that, Fatim, and you feel like a warmth, like a heat kind of in your head. Okay. And Allison, the eye in the right side of Fatim's head flares a little bit. Whoa. You feel yourself like cowed. Whoa. Like you are. You like you curl in a little bit. You pull your power back for a second. Uh huh. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa. That's fucking crazy.

That's fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy. What? Cool. So you see Allison flinch a little bit after she stretches like she tweaked something, maybe. Right. And Fatim reaches for a hand. And she grabs his hand to like steady herself. And the Wrathgar comes in. Oh, hi. And puts a menu down on both her hands. There you go.

Because now he's he's like fighting and now he's going to give her a bunch of lust. Even Francis has no idea what's going on, but he's also there. Like he feels a bunch of energy on this side. He's like, oh, hi. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy.

There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy. There's a ton of energy.

The saxophone no he found a french horn he's just screaming and so uh fathom can feel like rathgar trying to like get in his way and he's like taking that badly he's like man back off I fucking got here first yeah man I know but this is not a competition just kind of want to see what your lovely lady I have a question for I noticed that he wasn't asking you any questions I just wanted to have a question for you first of all where are you from hey and and uh fathom leans in oh where where'd you go where are you going where did you come from and where where are you going cotton eye joe and he points at fathom when he says cotton eye joe get a load of cotton eye joe over here and then uh allison's like whoa whoa whoa so many questions so many questions and I feel like I have to catch my breath holy I know right this is so us I had that you!

This is tesla wall or whatever it's okay it's like a an energy source for a succubus that's like holy shit these guys are gonna fucking fight over me yeah and she's like oh my god stop don't but she's just charging up yeah totally and and fathom stops punching and he's like you know what allison why don't you and I just run away together I don't need to be here anymore I don't need to be around these guys and then rathgar's like his face is pummeling he got punched the shit out of him he's like black and blue and he spits out blood and a tooth falls out he's like you let's just get out of here go somewhere romantic and uh you notice like in the windows behind allison like torchlight is approaching and she's like I think maybe I will step outside for a second while you wait for me to get my stuff right exactly I want you guys to go get your stuff I will wait right outside and then she comes and she's like oh my god I'm kind of like gestures generally to both of them and I will be taking you home with me I'm into not not if I get there first and uh fathom like sprints upstairs he'll grab just like hauls a armful of his stuff but it's not a organized collection it's mostly rathgar stuff uh-huh and and I'll you yeah she's uh she like she's outside um so fathom and rathgar like elbowing each other as they're running downstairs yeah and then um get to the door get to the door open it allison my love it's just like a quiet alleyway steam rises into the end of the air from stacks in the distance alley babe guys close the door she's gone isn't she she left me she did the old disappearing heart trick I need to be alone right now my feelings he throws down a smoke bomb he's gone but he's he did it he moved three feet he's lying on the couch sadly we're laying on opposite couches facing away from each other uh-huh yeah uh and that's the end of romancing a stranger can you guys make up we will there's a rift I think I think what we'll do this is not usually how it goes but I'll do a little directing so the next game we're going to play is called wear and tear okay wait before we move on can can I tell you what was what I think was going on with allison it didn't come out but I think what was happening was she so one of the reasons why she's been off the map is because she was trapped by like an iconoclast which are people who study icons basically demonologists in our world and they were trying to extract the demonologists from the world and they were trying to extract the demonologists from her so that they could like trade it to a warlock interesting uh for like use cool yeah I feel like they came to at first we're like we can help you solve you just are you tired of living like this you know without trying to sell her on all the good points of it like like a real kind of like kindly kind of vibe where it's like we're trying to help you we know you try not to kill people yeah and then maybe that's how she got trapped yeah yeah yeah oh the only thing is I misspoke so yeah if there's people that study they're iconographers uh iconoclasts are the ones that study them iconoclasts are people that hunt and destroy demons okay which is they don't really exist anymore no not in the same way even iconographers are pretty rare yeah so wear and tear uh there's always something to fix or clean or pay off after playing this game you may increase one of your tavern ratings by one setup anyone can play as a group decide what parts of the tavern need fixing and touching up and what new features of the taverns there are uh something that the game we did this we've been doing this throughout the day but this is actually the point in the game where stew pot itself is not a tavern it's a tavern it's a tavern it's a tavern it's a tavern it's a tavern take a break before you play this take a few minutes leave the room that you're in go walk around okay and then come back and if anything's come up that you want to talk about in the game any problems you're having anything you're stressed about then bring it up now give yourselves an opportunity to check in because wear and tear we're fixing up the tavern but we're also maintaining ourselves that's nice so we've all got coffees now thank you uh to super dove for bankrolling our treats today that's so incredibly generous Superduv, thank you very much for the chicken And thank you very much for the coffees I did not take a picture of the chicken Because we ate it too fast We really did We could take a picture of the garbage The detritus that was left behind I'll take a picture of the bag right now Okay, so Let's talk about Hither and Yon And what we think needs fixing up And what new additions people might want to make I think Mears' goal, of course Is the kitchen It's fixing up the stove, maybe getting a nicer stove The stove's pretty small, guys I can only make one Shepard's Wellington In this thing before the yeast Starts popping out of all the holes I need a bigger oven Oh, don't worry, Mears, I can help you there You know how I've been, like, playing With some pottery on the side, making little cups Is that why you've been so Clay-y lately?

Yeah, I could build you, like, a new brick oven If you want No way You would do that for me? Fatim?

Yeah, Mears, you're like my little bro Maybe you're not so bad after all Maybe I'm not But maybe I am Who knows And he slams down, like, a big slab of clay And starts going Nice And he starts literally wrestling the clay Yeah, he's like, fuck you Fuck you, dad And he's, like, punching it And then he's, like, ripping it apart, being like Fuck you, Tuck, this is your head Fuck you And Mears is like, oh my god I forgot he doesn't know that I know Tuck Mears is keeping so many secrets right now He really is Fuck you, Torch McCall Fuck you, Torch McCall You don't fucking know me You don't fucking know anything but, like, I don't know The god of the flame, barely His eyes flaring Yeah Anyway, like, a day later, after a lot of fighting And Fatim got super sweaty Took a lot of shower breaks and stuff He definitely didn't have to go this hard Anyway, there's, like, a very delicate, beautiful And sturdy new clay oven Oh, wow Cool Yeah, you can make all tons of shit A bunch of shepherd pies and wellingtons And you can make loaves of sourdough You can make pumpernickel bread Which I know you like Oh my god You can bake a bunch of chicken curries in here You could do a bunch of baklava Which I have personally tried out And it worked out well Great And Mears is, like, running his hand down the oven Searing sounds, smells Filling the kitchen Anyway, I'm gonna go do a bunch of chin-ups So, I'll see you later Okay, bye, thank you And, uh, over the next couple days This is, so that was Fatim's, I guess, work on the tavern Mears' work on the tavern is He tidies up and organizes the kitchen He, like, pulls out a bunch of old Kind of worm-eaten Shelves that were in there for a long time And He's like, Rearranges the spices in bottles And makes things nice and clean Cleans up everything It's so, everything is in reach To where he needs it to be when he's cooking He's starting to feel good about it So we have a cuisine rating of 2 right now Oh, nice Yeah Yeah What's, uh, what's Nimble getting up to?

Uh, Nimble has People have been noticing that Nimble's been walking around With, uh, like, he's always chewing gum Okay And every day It seems like he's chewing more and more gum Uh-huh And it's because he's been going underneath all the tables And taking the gum Of course People have been sticking there Okay And chewing it Like, mostly for selfish reasons But as a result He's really been, like, cleaning up the tavern Because all the gum's gone from under the tables But then all the dust and grime on the floors is gone Because Nimble's been shuffling around so much Yeah Also, his, his, his chin line's been cleaning up With all that chewing He's getting real cut in the chin Yeah, and he's, he keeps dropping the big ball of gum He's been chewing, too So that's picking stuff up Oh, God Yeah, because Francis is rolling it around Yeah Like a dung beetle, yeah Francis tried, yeah, it's an instinct Uh-huh It's because woolly pigs lay eggs And that's how they Woolly pigs lay eggs?

Yeah All right, I guess woolly pigs lay eggs Yeah Never said that before So he's treating it like an egg Great Yeah You're doing a fantasy by numbers To get your woolly pig egg dice Yeah Is he, is he having, like, parental instincts right now? Yeah, he's, like Oh, Francis He keeps, like, stealing it and taking it to his nest And then Is this a male woolly pig behavior? Or is this a female woolly pig behavior?

I think it's male It's like they're, they're like emperor penguins Okay, yeah, like the males raise the young Yeah Yeah So he's got a big nest somewhere that's, like, smashed up Crates and rags that he's dumped in a corner It's one of the rooms Yeah It's just ruined You can't get in there at all Yeah But, yeah, he comes up to Mears And he's like, oh, I'm not going to do that He's like, hey, uh, check this out This is the biggest ball of gum you've ever seen or what?

Oh, my God Where did you get that? And he's holding it over his head It's huge You haven't been chewing that, have you?

Oh, yeah, not all at once I haven't been able to fit it in my mouth for a few weeks now But, yes You, you gotta, you gotta stop chewing on that I'll stop chewing on this When you pry it out of my cold, dead jaws He starts, he starts biting it Nimble is, like, a scarier version of Billy Like, a more, a sharper vision But he also, like, as he kind of runs away He turns to Mears and he shows him a page of a notebook That he's just been sticking stickers to Oh, my God He's like, I found these stickers Where?

What do you think of it? I don't know, they're cool That's like a little pig, that's cute Yeah Is that like a, like a dog? Yeah I don't know what this stripy horse is The colors on this horse are all wrong This one's a duck Oh Why is it even a duck? It's yellow None of your fucking business All right Jesus He runs into the kitchen Oh, what?

He clutches the book and runs into the kitchen Kid scares the hell out of me That's for Nimble to know and for you to find out What's, uh, how's Rathgar been contributing to the upkeep of Hither and Yon?

Uh, he put in a stage in a performance area Oh, God, no Yeah And he's really been MacGyvering a whole setup He may, has chairs, but they're all upside down buckets Mm-hmm Uh, he made up a bunch of lights, like a lighting rig Ooh And they're all out of, like, the, he took apart the bathroom to make a stage So And then he, like, was like, I fixed the bathroom I just imagined, like, in the middle of the night, Fatim going to take a shit in the toilet and not being there There's just a hole now Slamming into the ground And then there's a sign on it that says, it still works Cause he turned the toilet into a trap door Oh my God So then, Fatim's, like, stuck in the shit And he's like, oh, I'm gonna go to the toilet And he's like, oh, I'm gonna go to the toilet And he's like, oh, I'm gonna go to the toilet Someone comes to use the bathroom in the morning and Fatim is just there No, no, no, no Get me out of here Occupied Yeah Oh, so we've got a little stage now He's rigged up a piano, too Rigged up a piano?

Yeah, he's made, like, an organic, like, a player piano Cool Like ones where you don't have to play it Yeah, it runs on the little blue crystal batteries Cool So, what kind of song, what kind of songs did Rathgard put on there?

Well, I don't know I don't know Well, he's been playing a lot of It has, like, a different thing You can put a French horn on it And it plays the French horn You can put the saxophone in It'll play Oh, nice He's attached the saxophone to the piano Yeah, it'll play any instrument That's so cool, actually That is really sick Yeah, it's a robo band Yeah So, the cuisine went up because of the sliced thing But it sounds like atmosphere is going up Yeah, can I ask another question about this player piano?

Please If you put a bottle into it, does it play it? Yes Is there a place where you can just, like, if you have a bottle? It'll take many bottles, too You can take a jukebox of bottles Nice If you put an empty, could you, like, get music into the bottle?

This is the thing So, you can, it also creates music Wow So, if you have all the instruments, you can attach them to this thing I'm glad you guys like it This is something I whipped up Well, I was thinking about this This is where music bottles come from Arcanix invented music bottles Yes, 100% Whoa So, if you have all the instruments, you can fill up a bottle So, right now, it's just, like, we have one bottle of So, maybe we can sell it Now, we have Guys, look, we can sell music bottles as well as booze Ooh And our one food item That's exciting Mm-hmm Okay I forgot the menu is one food Yeah Well, that's the most notable item That's the special Right Mears looks at the special every day, too He's, like, a guy that likes new and exciting foods Uh-huh So, every morning, he wakes up and looks at the special, which is Shepard's Pie And then in brackets, Wellington Yeah Yeah Yeah!

And he's just, like, fucking… God damn it! Yeah I hope nobody orders this But, so, Atmosphere, we're increasing Atmosphere Yeah So, our Atmosphere rating is now at two as well Such a weird game to be building up this bar that no one can ever really get in here just one at a time Yeah I don't… I mean, like, I think there are times where it goes to a place and there is regular customers True For, like, a few months Yeah Yeah And then we just disappear again Yeah And then…

Because everyone has those stories We went to this bar I can't remember the name of it But it was awesome Yeah I think it's, like, in those situations, the bar senses that the community needs something Yeah Like, it's not one person needs a place of refuge or needs food Exactly Or needs help It's, like, this community needs a gathering place for a bit Yeah Yeah, there have been times where, like, worker uprisings have been planned here Yeah And, like, you know, weddings and stuff have taken place Like, it's just…

It's, like…

Regicide planned out Exactly Yes Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Regicide foiled Yeah Regicide foiled Like, there's a night where, like, in some town somewhere, somebody's getting mugged in an alleyway And then in some town a million miles away, a bunch of roughneck workers are hanging out at Hither and Yon Yeah And it teleports them to where the person's getting mugged Yeah, totally So then just a bunch of angry construction bros come boiling out of a bar that appeared out of nowhere Hey, what are you doing to that car?

Out of a porta potty Yeah Yeah Just come out with, like, clowns in a car Yeah But now the… Up, up, up, up, up Just above the door of the porta potty on the plastic and marker is written Hither and Yon Yeah, exactly I also think that there are times when they're, like, Hither and Yon is fighting itself Like, there's two versions of Hither and Yon in one place One where, like, an uprising is being planned and the other one where, like, the…

Yeah The officials It's being tried to quash The counter-rebellion Yeah And they're like, they need to get it out of their system Exactly That's great Yeah, it's… The thing is, Hither and Yon has no morals Mm-hmm It just…

It feels when it's needed and then it moves to that place So, Atmosphere 2, canvas cots, freshly painted walls, clean windows You walk into Hither and Yon now, it looks nice Yeah It's tidy We've got a fucked-up magic piano machine in the corner And, um, sorry, our restroom's out of service Boy, is it ever But people keep using it We're really trying to get them to stop Yeah But they love it They're… It's kind of a novelty at this point Where they're like…

It's like, hey, there's this secret bar where the bathroom is a stage So it's kind of an arts piece where you taking a shit is like performing And I guess it means that art is shit? And it's not even like a… It's not real because when you go outside, like, it's… The shit's not there He's found a way of that made the toilet go out… Channel outside so that it just always goes into wherever they're going Yeah Hither and Yon ended up with a pretty solid review in a local…

Art zine That we just never saw So, Paul, it is now your turn to choose the game that you would like to play Okay, a distinguished guest A distinguished guest, okay Yep, somebody cool comes in Yeah Could Kem come in? Oh…

Yeah, yeah, yeah Someone can play Kem Yeah So, a distinguished guest Someone important is in town and they're almost here The tavern has to be at its best for this guest Kem After all, they might leave a generous tip It could be Kem A setup As a group, figure out a few details about the important guest Where do they come from? How important are they? Have you heard of them before? His name is Kem He's the most important person in Mears' life So, how does Mears…

Mears doesn't ever shut the fuck up about it Yeah So, how does Mears know? Oh, because we… Because he's from Pinewood He's from Pinewood We open the door and there's a… We're in Winewood Yeah, we're in Winewood Like the new… A bustling town in the woods on the shores of a wine-soaked lake Cool But Mears looks out and is like…

Oh, shit Oh, no Oh, no, I know where we are Oh, my God Oh, my God And there's, like, hanging on a tree Uh-huh Because the door opens out of a tree And sticking out of it is a beautifully carved wooden sign That says, Hither and Yon And then Nimble sees Mears freaking out And he's like, what's up? Did you lose your saffron again or something? No There's… There's a boy here His name's Kem And he… What if he comes here? What if he comes here and what do I do? What do you mean? Yeah, he's…

You just want to look your best? Okay, on the ground Give me ten push-ups right now You want to get that pump going No You want to get that pump going And Mears is trying to do push-ups But it's really awkward on, like, his metal hand And he's… And, uh, Fatim's helping him by doing push-ups with him Yeah, next to him Yeah What? Because his meat hand is way weaker than his metal hand Oh, yeah So he's just like… God Like, lopsided push-ups But I think, um, he's been…

Because of that, uh, Fatim's been training him to do one-handed push-ups Yeah Just with his metal hand And also just with his… Meat hand? Cool Yeah So he's getting kind of… He's getting that, like, teenage boy kind of lean muscle I think so I think it's like… This is a situation where Mears hasn't looked in the mirror in, like, months Maybe years Who knows? And if he did… What if Rathgard took all the mirrors? They have to go in the piano Well, what is smoke but without mirrors?

And I think if Mears were to look in the mirror He would look a little bit older than he expected And it's the best he's ever looked Oh, certainly, yeah Oh, yeah Like, him without having to worry about what he's looking like He's looking so good Uh, so how this game works is One player will play the guest Jessica as Kemp Other players are challengers At least one for each challenge Each challenge tests one of your tavern's ratings Ooh, I'm Kemp's new boyfriend Huh?

Oh, what kind of challenge are you talking about? Ooh, yes What if? Yes No, guys, you gotta… Hold on a second Sorry, sorry Regardless of whatever you're doing, you gotta…

Whatever he says next My statement stands We misinterpreted the rules for a second Okay And then we got excited about what that might mean So it means there's a cuisine challenge An atmosphere challenge And a service challenge Each one, you flip a coin A number of times equal to your rating Heads is good, tails is bad So, like, we've got two cuisine So if I flip heads, then the food that I make is good And the guest player describes what they enjoy most about the meal If I get a tails, I fail The guest player describes something unpleasant They find in their food So that's what we're trying to do We're each gonna be flipping coins during the challenge Trying to get a heads To make a good experience for the guest Okay Yeah But also Sounds like Kemp has a new boyfriend Yes So Mears Gathers everybody Okay We gotta get our shit together There's somebody in this town And if they come here and they have a bad time I will lose my mind And Fadum takes this really seriously Because he's never heard Mears talk in any different way I will absolutely lose my shit On everyone here And myself for months So we gotta be top of the line Okay And we're standing to attention Like the towels over our arms Yes, exactly And Mears is standing on top of the bar He's striding back and forth like General George S.

Patton We're gonna lock it down We're gonna do our best We're gonna excel Victory We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best We're gonna do our best You're cold as ice.

I'm going to fucking chop this potato so fast. You're impossibly fast. I'm going to lose my mind if I have to hear any more of this. You're so strong. Sorry, this thing's stuck on medley. You're emotionally abusive. There's some weird Mormon overtones to your behavior. And I'll say it out loud. All right, I'm flipping this coin. Fun boy. Okay, last attempt. If Mears blows this, the food's bad. Okay, you do it. Heads. Heads, heads, heads, heads. Oh my God. Heads. Heads. Yes.

Oh, that's incredible. Wow, I like this game a lot. Okay, so Mears, like cuts a potato in the air. Oh, yeah. You cut it, but not all the way through. And then you put slices of butter and cheese in between and put it in the oven. It gets all crispy and baked on the inside. Oh, fuck, yeah. And then the fish gets laid over that. At the last moment, Mears is like, red wine. What am I thinking? With cheese and onion and the potatoes? It'd be disgusting.

He dumps it in the toilet and splashes out into the street in McCall somewhere. It just shoots out of a pot on the road. Hot, hot red wine. Yeah. Fish mold wine. So he just, what's a better, he just uses, he just butters it, poaches it in butter, you know, does that thing where you take the spoon and you kind of throw it over the thing you're cooking as you're cooking it. Or grills it. Yeah. Or grills it. Because he's so fast and spicy right now. Yeah.

Oh, and the wood he's using with like pine, wood from outside. So it's kind of got like a pine grilled. Yeah. Yeah. And he brings it out to the table. Rathgar has got like his, he's like making an illusion. So it's like, the chef would like to deliver his food personally to your table. Oh. And Cam tries not to get too excited. Oh, really? Does he know that it's Mears? Yeah, he saw him. He saw him, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'd be interested to meet this chef.

Yeah, I mean, not that like, I'm, not that I know him. Yeah, absolutely. I'd love to meet the chef for like the first time. All right. And so then he's like, please, gentlemen and gentlemen, put your hands together and welcome to the hither and yon from which you know not when you go, but where you are transported to in the minds and mouths of babes across the world.

Mears takes a deep breath and walks out of the kitchen and around the bar and is like, man, they really went way too hard on this intro. I got a lot to live up to now. There's smoke and sparkles happening over a blue light. And then through the blue light, he puts on the music. Please put your hungry hands together for our chef Mears. Hi. Hello, Kim. Mears, you look well. Ah, Sodi, you look so as do you. Thank you. Thank you. Who's your friend here? Hi, I'm Darby. Hi, Darby.

Yes, this is my friend, Darby. We're dating. My name's Darby. We only just started dating. Right, no. No, that's cool. That's cool. That's fine. That's nice. My dad is the town leader, Yilliam. Oh. Or William. It's really hard for me to remember which is which. It's Yilliam. I remember Yilliam. Yilliam. I've been here before. You know the wine lake? Oh, yeah. He invented it. Oh, you invented the wine lake. Kind of. I was there, I think. I was involved.

Were you the boy who got concussed on the course on the way out of town? Oh, no. I don't know what you're talking about. But I saw… Today, I'm the head chef at this place. You might have known. No way. Yeah, this is kind of my place. And Imagineer. I am impressed. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, today for you, I have… Salmon poached in butter and grilled with pinewood smoke and on a bed of Hasselbeck potatoes. Enjoy. On the house. It's like you knew. The potatoes were my favorite food.

Guest player describes what they most enjoy about the meal. Oh, the crispiness of the potato mixed with like the soft, melty, buttery insides. Oh, that's nice. All right. And they settle into their meal. And as they begin to enjoy the food, they really start to soak up the atmosphere of the Hither and Yon, which I believe seems to be the purview of Rathgar the Nightblade. Has he decorated in any interesting, weird, arcanical ways? It just looks like a prom. Like glittery disco balls. Yeah.

He made Hither and Yon under the sea. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. It always ends up being a prom with us. Oh, my God. Francis is dressed up like a little… Mermaid. He's just going to town on a pile of garbage. Yeah. Rathgar has sewn a bunch of extra sleeves on his cloak, so he's like an octopus. Yes. Mater D. And Nimble is dressed as… He found like a stuffed shark in the basement and he shoved himself into it, so he's dragging around like an eight-foot shark behind him.

The next challenge is the service challenge, so keep that in mind. Okay. Great. Yeah. So go ahead and flip it. I want heads. You want a heads. I got a tails. Okay. So you get one more and then one more because of your jury rigging or your arcana. Come on. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Tails. Oh, no. Fucking shit. One more. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Last time. Heads. Heads. Yeah. All right. It's so romantic. Yeah. He filled all the corners of the bar with water.

There's all these tubs of water, and he made all these lights pointing into the corner, so they're reflecting all this underwater thing everywhere, so it actually looks really underwater. Hell yeah. Yeah. And it's full of smoke. You can hardly see 10 feet in front of you. Amazing. And he rigged the little fishes and seaweeds to the ceiling fans, so they're all just swimming around the bar. Nice. So it's kind of a hazard as well, which might interrupt the service. Yeah. Perfect.

So the guest describes a special memory they will always have of their stay. It's when Rathgar introduced Mears, and Mears was standing there, with the glow of the butter highlighting his face. The light was shining off the butter, and he saw Mears for the first time. What feels like forever. And you notice how much he's grown. Grown. I mean- And how much you are growing. Growing and showing. Our little baby boy Mears might no longer be 14. How old is he, do you think, now?

I'm fully willing to believe that he has turned 16 since he has been living it. Yeah. He's a little bit younger than Heather and Jan. Yeah. And he's got like big, these big shoulders from training with FATM now. I also, I think he's getting kind of bar keep body. Like he's getting muscular, but he's putting on weight too, because he eats a lot and he moves a lot of stuff around. Yeah. So he's filling out, but he's got muscle too. I like that.

And then his facial hair is coming in, so he's getting a little bit of like a blonde curly beard. Oh yeah. Yeah. So he looks kind of like young gravy. What's that? Oh my God. I guess he kind of does look like that. He does look like young gravy a little bit. Okay. Fatter. Yeah. Like a chubby young gravy and shorter. Mears isn't a super tall guy. Is that the rapper who likes moms? Yeah. The rapper who fucks everybody's moms. Yes. Love it.

Whenever people go to a young gravy concert, I always see stuff on TikTok that's like, my mom got selected for the young gravy pre-show experience. Oh my God. That's hilarious. And then it's like hot mouth like going backstage. Oh yeah. Okay. And next, so the dinner is out. The stage has been set. The only thing left to make sure Kem and Darby have a nice time is the service, which I believe is under Nimble's control, probably with Fatim. So Fatim or Nimble has shoved himself into a shark. Yeah.

Right. So, so that means he can't carry the trays. So, so Fatim's carrying all the trays and he's also serving all the other tables cause Nimble's taking so long to move around in his outfit. Uh huh. Nimble's getting pretty hot in there. Yeah. It's packed in here. I forgot that. It is. So Fatim's on roller skates, like zooming around and he's, he's making sure we pay special attention to, um, Kem's table. Yeah. Perfect. And he is stacking tips. Oh yeah, he is.

There's a lot of moms in this restaurant right now. Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah. Quan on Quan. A lot of people that, yeah, really appreciate a strapping lad. On skates. Yeah. It's the skates that really nails it home. So Abdul is going to flip coins for this. Yeah. So our service rating, aka, $1,000. Yeah. So we're going to do a little bit of a quick review. So we're going to do a quick review. So we're going to do a quick review of this. Yeah.

So our service rating, aka, the number of coin flips you get is one. Okay. So unless you cross off any of your experiences, you're only getting one. All right. Okay. Heads. Hell yeah! I fucking knew this was going to happen. Can someone describe how cool, how did the coin flip was? You ended up with almost not even looking. It almost hit the ceiling and you caught it out of mid-air and slammed it on the book. Silence. No expression in his face, but a quiet shirring.

Of the luck that befalls him at every turn. And I'm pretty sure you kept eye contact with Sean the whole time. Didn't even look at the coin. Caught the coin without looking. Slammed it on his book. Plucked it out of midair. Didn't wait for it to come back down. Heads. If one of your coin flips comes up heads, you pass. The guest describes an interesting conversation they have with someone at the tavern. Okay. But maybe it's mirrors. Ooh. Okay. Maybe they bump into each other on the way.

Yeah, Kim tries to go to the bathroom. What bathroom? I know. And that's what he says. He's like, oh, sorry. He walks in on Kim. And Kim is crying. Oh. Or mirrors is crying. Yeah. Oh. Mirrors. I'm so sorry. Oh, no, it's fine. I was just. Chopping onions. Yeah, I was chopping onions in here. In the bathroom? Yeah. It's a mudlarkian style of food preparation. Right. You wouldn't understand. I just want to be clear. Darby's fine, but I've always. I've always held a spot soft spot for you.

I didn't think. I didn't think you'd be leaving so soon. You know, I just. I got lonely. Look, Kim, it's been. It's been two years. What? It's. Here's been like a month. Ooh. I mean, and I like, you know, I had sent you letters. I didn't hear back. No. No, no. I look. I'm. I'm sorry. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't get any of the letters. I just thought that you'd moved on. No, you know, I thought I thought you'd moved on. You know, you're like going out to do cool stuff. And, you know, I thought.

I thought you didn't like me because I didn't have like cool accent like my dad does. Why? No, I don't have a cool accent like my dad does. Right. Cut to Dick Faust. Yeah. Boy, I love digging in the mud. Ever since Mudlark was raised to the ground by the army of. Bully wags. I've been digging in the mud trying to find my old beloved horse Matilda. Oh, there she is. Cut back. I. I. Sorry. You go. No, you go. No, it's fine. All right. Okay. Look, Kim, I like you.

I know that you're with somebody right now and that's fine here. Just a sec. And he runs out and he grabs a piece of paper and he writes down the mailing address for hither and yon. Whoa. She's found is like if you write. The hither and yon address on a letter and put it in a place that letters are placed. Yeah. They show up at hither and yon. Whoa. What's the hither and yon address? Hither and yon here, there and everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Okay.

So here he writes down hither and yon here, there and everywhere. If you put this on an envelope, I'll get it no matter where I am. But you have to put proper postage. You gotta put a stamp on it. You still have to. I don't know what the deal is. But if you don't. If you don't put a stamp on it, it comes, but it is ashes. Right. Right. And, uh, Kim folds it up really carefully and puts it in his breast pocket.

And he's like, can I, I mean, this might be weird cause I haven't seen you in a, in a couple of weeks, but like, can I hug you? Can I hug you? Yeah. Can we hug? We can, we can hug. Yeah. We can hug. We can hug. We can hug. And that's when, uh, Kim hugs him and feels like the new muscles that Mears has started putting on. And the little like. The weight that he's like a kind of solid guy now. Look, don't force anything with Darby. Don't rush anything. Don't end anything just for me.

But if you ever have the inclination, you know where to find me. Kim nods and he, he's like, yeah, yeah, I'll, I'll, I'll send you a letter. Okay. I hope you have a good night. I really missed you. I missed you too. We'll talk soon. Yeah. Okay. You right. Yeah, I will. Yeah. All right. Seriously. Where's the shitter? Oh my God. Yeah. Sorry. This is the bathroom. Sorry. I've been really holding it in. Yeah. Don't stand too close to the hole when you flush it or you will get sucked in.

You'll end up in my car. And Mears closes the bathroom door for him. And, uh, can you cut to what nimble is doing right now? Cut to nimble. Uh, I'm in the stock room with Darby and I, I've got a knife. I've got a knife. I've got a knife. I like this. Whoa. Whoa. Well, well, what was the goal of that last round? Having a memorable conversation or interesting? Interesting conversation. Okay.

And then, uh, so nimble goes, Hey, well, well, well, look who's having an interesting conversation with nimble. It's Mr. Darby. And Mears walks past the stock room and goes, Nimble, what the fuck are you doing? And nimble slams the door and jams the knife. Yes. And then you, you hear nimble go. And this one is a koala bear. He's showing him his sticker book. I don't know what a koala bear is. Look at it. That doesn't look like a bear at all. Look at it. It's a koala bear.

It looks like a little mouse. It's a fucking koala bear. Okay. All right. It's a koala bear. And this one is a little elephant. Okay. All right. Okay. It's an elephant. It's an elephant. I want you to steer clear of chem. Never get near him again. You hear me? All right. Okay. Whatever. He's spoken for. Okay. All right. All right. Why? I'm going to go. And before you leave, I want you to remember one thing is nimble. It's going to live forever. Okay.

And Darby shoves himself out the door and goes and sits down with chem, but keeps like looking over at the stock room and you see the stock room door open and a nine foot shark shuffle out on the ground. And then Rathgar looks at Darby. Uh-huh. And then he mows the ground. There's a ton of emotions. Raking his thumb across his neck like, don't you dare. And then at the same time, Darby feels like a finger go across his actual neck. Creepy. Creepy. We cut to Fatum.

Fatum's got Darby in the hallway. Oh my God. Like, held up by the scruff of his neck. And he's like, I don't know what you think you're doing here, but you are not welcome. Not your kind. And by your kind, I mean you, Darby, alone. Kim can do so much better than you. And by better, I mean he could do mirrors. Not in that way. You know. Not yet. But you know what I mean. So you should fucking back off right now. This kid's getting threatened so many times. He's getting threatened so many times.

Just for dating somebody. I know. We're being really mean. No, it's great. What I thought you were going to say was Fatum talks to him and he's like, if you keep going out with mirrors, I'm going to fuck your mom. What? Oh, she's a wine mom for sure. Oh. Oh my God. For sure. And so the night ends and they finish their meal and Darby's looking over at everybody else in the bar. And every time he looks at mirrors, mirrors is like, no, it's not. It's fine.

But he thinks he's doing the neck thing again. Yeah. Fatum's behind him going like, I'll fucking kill you. I'll fucking kill you. Doing the like slit across the neck thing. And he's like, he's got his chain and his tether ball in his hand. It's making those scary chain sounds with it. How are we not going to believe this? Kid in mortal terror. Well, this is essentially what we did to mirrors in season one. And all that's true. It's true. We do threaten children a lot. I know. I have no chill.

So mirrors tries to meet them at the door as they're leaving. And it's like, Hey Darby, I hope I, I hope you had a good time. I'm sorry for my friends. They're really intense. And Darby looks at mirrors and he puts a hand out to shake his hand. Yeah. And he goes to shake Darby's hand. And then Darby goes, I just want you to know that I treat lower class. People worse. Oh, thank God. Get the fuck out of here. You nerd. He's like, I pretend to tip, but I don't tip.

Even though I have a lot of money. You get out, get out of my, get out of my bar. Now I refuse to pay a shoe store. Sometimes you made your choice in how you live your life. I'm not paying for that. Oh my God. Get out. And the door closes and the night carries on pleasant mirrors. Thinking very suddenly of a letter he might receive in the future. Nice. So if you pass two or more challenges, which we did, we passed all three challenges. You succeed in impressing your guest.

The guest describes a lavish gift. They present to the tavern before they leave, which I think will actually be something we find maybe in the bar in the morning. Oh yeah. I was going to say, or because Darby didn't tip, but Kim left something behind. Yeah. So this gift helps you instantly upgrade one of your tavern ratings. So one of our ratings is going to go up. Oh, a Yelp stone. Guest describes the gift. Yelp stone's pretty funny.

So Kim left behind a note in an envelope with like a weird amount of money, but like quite a bit. So like. $63. Yeah. 63 coins. And a note saying, hi mirrors. It's Kim. From before. From before. Remember me? Darby was being a huge dick. So I took all his money. Here you go. I love. And he scratched that out. From Kim. P.S. Fix your bathroom. Yeah. All right. So which one of our things do we want to upgrade? Bathroom. Bathroom. Atmosphere, I guess. Bathroom. Okay. That's so. Yeah.

Would that be atmosphere? Do we think? Yes. What else is there? Structure? Service and cuisine. Let me just double check. What service? The lowest one. Yeah. Service is only one. Services are bathrooms. Bathroom would be one of our services we provide. It does represent your staff. But we are the staff. We're not hiring new staff. Yeah. The four of us is plenty. So we're going to hire a bathroom. Yeah. I like that. A sentient bathroom. We buy a toilet. Cheating me.

Our rating is now two, which means we now have a sentient toilet. No. Rathgard rigged the toilet to say that. He just put it on top of the trap door. Uh-huh. Yeah. So you're just pooping in the middle of a stage. So it looks more like an art thing. Wait. I thought the toilet was upstairs. Oh. It is. Yeah. The bathroom. The bathroom. The bathroom. The bathroom. The bathroom. The bathroom. The bathroom. The bathroom. It's taken apart to make the stage. Oh.

But the bathroom is still upstairs, isn't it? I thought the stage. Oh, God, no. It was the bathroom. No fucking way. Okay. Well, that's what we did talk about, though. Okay. Because it's made out of parts of the bathroom. So some people think it's a bathroom and have used the stage. Oh, yeah. Okay. It's very embarrassing. Okay. For that person. Well, the person is never embarrassed because they do it anyways. That's the weird part. Yeah. It's embarrassing for everybody else. Yeah.

It's embarrassing because you got to watch it all. Okay. So off the clock. It's been a while since you've all had a proper day off. Things are slower right now and you can get away with closing up for a day. Where do you go after the tables are wiped down? Anyone can play. Each player describes the first thing their character is doing to wind down, let loose, or otherwise forget about work for a while. And it's just everybody kind of does a scene about how they spend their time off. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. One at a time? Yeah. We'll do it one at a time. I can start. I think Hither and Yon has moved again. It's been a few weeks after Mears met Cam again and he's received a couple letters. Oh, wow. Oh, nice. Which has been nice. It's just like, hey, what's going on? School's really hard right now. I'm helping out at the offices of my parents. Actually, I think that's what it is. Mears goes to… The door is open one day on kind of like a nicely wooded hillside.

And he takes some paper to go write a letter back to Cam. Oh, nice. Which is difficult because he has to write with his left hand now that he's lost. Like, he's still getting used to writing with his left hand now that his right is metal. Oh. It's a little harder to hold. Nimble made him a thing. Oh, what is the thing? He took some of the gum from the gumball and he wrapped it around a pen. And he was like… Oh, yeah.

It'll make it feel like a normal pen because your hand's all fucking weird and metal. Thank you, Nimble. Thank you. And the gum is soft like a lady. Thanks. Thanks, Nimble. It's like you're writing with a lady. Okay. All right. I'm going to go. I'm going to go now. Okay. Thanks. Have a good day. Yeah. So, Mir sits down on a rock and has Nimble's clipboard and a piece of paper clipped to it. Nice. And starts writing, Dearest… No, that's too weird. Dear… No. Still too personal. Hello, Cam.

Hello there. Too casual. Too casual. Hi, Cam. Thank you for your letter. I read it 13 times. Don't tell me how many times you read it. I read it. And it's the best letter I've ever gotten. Sorry if this is messy. I'm not used to writing with my left hand. But I wanted to tell you that I've thought about you a lot since we left Winewood. I had a dream about you the other night.

And in it, we were in Mudlark, which is where I'm from, sitting next to the pond behind my house and looking at tadpoles. I looked at your eyes. They looked like two big… Bowls of… Soup… In brackets. That's good. We held hands. And when I woke up, I wish that I was actually able to hold your hand. Anyways, I gotta go. I'm excited for your next letter. Love. Nope. I don't know. Bye. Mears. And he folds it up. And he holds it in his hand. He thinks about it.

And then he nods and he gets up and he walks back to Hither and Yon. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. That's nice. So what does Nimble do with his time off? Nimble has been rummaging around in the Hither and Yon trying to find secrets. Okay. He's trying to find secrets. Nimble loves a secret and secrets make you live forever. Nimble's gonna live forever. So he's trying to like find clues to like what this place is. Like what? Who built it?

You're not gonna get a bunch of canonical information out of me that easy. I want you to know that. What can I do? You can just describe how Nimble uses his time off. This isn't a roll and find out new and exciting things. What if I roll these two dice? Nothing will happen. They always give snake eyes. Nothing will happen. And they get boxcars. Nothing will happen. Do it. Will you tell me one thing? Okay. If you get two sixes, I'll tell you one thing. Okay, guys. Oh my God.

I'm gonna go get a boxcar. I'm gonna go get a boxcar. Oh my God. Boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar, boxcar. Oh, that's a shame. I got a four and a five. Damn. Too bad. So what does Nimble do with his time off? So he's digging around looking for secrets. He's trying to find secrets. And then he gets so angry that he doesn't find any secrets that he takes a bunch of pots that Fadum made and he throws them out.

He like drowns them in the lake. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. But under a carpet, he finds a letter that was addressed to Mears and he does grab it and he gives it to Mears. He's like, oh shit. Gotta give this to him. This is from Kem to Mears? No. From Mears to Kem. Nope. It's got Mears' name on it, but it's a letter that was just in the bar. Okay. Yeah. And he runs up to Mears when Mears is coming back from writing his story. Yeah. And he's like, hey Mears. What? You fucking chode. Whoa.

What's with the hostility, man? Sorry. I'm about to do something nice for you and I feel weird doing it. So I have to preface it with an insult. Okay. All right. You fucking… Do you want to give me that? Yeah. Okay. What is it? Where'd you find it? And then Nimble like looks so embarrassed and his face turns red and he's like, I found it under the carpet in the main room. Okay. We don't usually clean under there. We usually just stuff dust under there. You shouldn't be doing that.

I mean, don't fucking tell me what to do. And then he stabs Mears a little bit in the leg. What the fuck? Get out of here. Sorry. I feel weird doing nice things. You're the worst. Leave. Bye. Okay. Hmm. Mears. Well, that is my name. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Oh my God. How is… Who wrote this? Dear Mears, I will miss you. You are the bravest guy I have ever fought beside. Tuck. Huh. He really doesn't know how to write an E. There aren't a lot of backwards E's. Bet.

The weirdest part is that some of the E's are forwards and then some are backwards. Like he forgot how to write an E halfway through. I think Tuck was quite drunk when he wrote this. I have a feeling Tuck was very dyslexic at the time. It's the kind of thing that like when Tuck like put it, he like left it on Mears' stuff when he was leaving Heather and Jan and he like took one last look at it and he's like, this looks like Billy fucking wrote it.

I thought when you pulled it out, I thought it was him. I don't fucking believe that. He was like, God damn it. I gotta, I have to stop drinking so much. I'm gonna go to bed. I'm gonna go to bed. I gotta stop drinking so much. So what's Wrathgar do with his time off? Um, Mears comes into the back room and um, there's all this smoke in the room, but it's not usual smoke. Usually it's like, uh, you know, it's like atomized.

It has that chalky smell of a smoke machine always, but this is like smells sad. There's like a disparity to this room and the dankness. It's not like you can't see the smoke, but you feel it. It's like it's cloudy in your vision and your mind. Yeah. And in the middle of the room. Yeah. Wrathgar is sitting there. He doesn't have his usual flashy cloak on. He's just sitting in these, um, a red pajama onesie with a butt flap, but like they're all really mangy and tore up.

And he's sitting in front of a big burning candle and his body is twitching in this weird, Oh shit. Sort of jerky, jerky way. And his head is doing these awful spooky circles. And there's a, a strange presence in there. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman.

There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman. There's a woman.

That cool um fathom is having a self-care day so he's like having a shower he's um he's in the middle of shaving and his eyes like throbbing and like glowing or whatever like it's just like hot he's like fuck this like he's trying to splash water on it he's splashing water on it try to cool it down but nothing's doing anything and he remembers the torch giving him the eye and telling him this will not only help you see but it'll help you see into the darkness that's sick that's so sick fathom stops mid-shave and he starts washing it all he just wipes off all the soap and he's he's like something something's going on yeah he starts rummaging around the inn looks outside looks fine we're not anywhere weird and so he just he like sits there with his eyes shut and he opens them again and he's like oh my god this headache and he closes them trying to like block out the pain like he's got a migraine so he goes upstairs to his room to lay down and he's like bumping into the walls and kind of tripping up the stairs as he goes and his headache's just getting worse as he gets up to his room but he closes the door and he lays down in his bed and um he he presses the cold side of his pillow across his eyes and he's like no that's not helping and uh as he moves around tries to get comfortable and he's like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die thankfully he starts to fall asleep and he dreams he dreams of a hill and the wind is blowing through the grass and fathom is walking up the hill the wind blowing through his hair and he's so tired and his head hurts and the the closer he gets up to the top of the hill the more his head hurts but he knows in a way that he thinks I'll find relief up here and at the top he's huffing and puffing and he's sweating and he's like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die And the wind is blowing, but he doesn't really feel it.

And as he collapses into the grass, he looks up and sees fire ripping through a tree and watches as the leaves fall around him. Ash landing everywhere. Fucking sick. Oh, man. Now we got to end it there. Okay. You figured out you've got a Sean O'Hara ass cliffhanger. Yeah. Okay. So we're going to do that. And then that's where we're going to end it. Yeah. It's a Charles Eve special with zero Charles Eve in it, but that's too cool. Okay.

Thank you for joining us, everybody, for Charles Eve at Hither and Yon, the least Charles Eve-y Charles Eve special we've ever done. Thank goodness. It was Charles Eve when Phantom was trying to fuck Allison. Yeah. Exactly. And actually, that's probably why Wrathgar was trying to get in there. Oh, could be. Yeah. Because he was attracted to the demon. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's feeding off the feeder. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So, yeah.

Thanks for joining us for Charles Eve at Hither and Yon, our special where we play. We've been playing a heavily modified and shortened version of Stew Pot by Takuma Okada. Thank you again to Takuma for sending us the most current playtest version. So kind. And sorry. Yeah. Sorry. So sorry. This is but a taste of the things that Stew Pot is capable of. I've had a lot of fun. With apologies to the creator of Stew Pot will be the name of this episode. Totally. Yeah. We did our best. We did.

We spent way too long creating characters. And then we we took a break between character creation and playing the episode to talk to Aaron Reed and eat 31 pounds of chicken. Yeah. So it is our fault. In a way, we kind of Stew Pot ourselves. The true Stew Pot was in our hearts all along. Check out Stew Pot in the future will be published through Evil Hat Productions. So keep an eye out for any crowdfunding campaigns.

Coming up, which you can find at at Evil Hat official on Twitter, or you can follow Takuma at at Takuma T-A-K-U-M-A underscore. Okay. A D-A underscore at Twitter. And I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing nimble. Gonna live forever. Abdul Aziz. Nimble's gonna live forever. Playing Rathgar, the Nightblade, Paul Hoppers. And my blade. And playing Fatum, the Hammer, Adam, Jessica Tai. And my blade. And my blade. And my blade. And my tetherball on a chain.

If you want to get more Spout Lore in your life, this is a pretty good example of the kind of stuff that you can get on our Patreon. Yeah. So check us out at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money, please. And you can find our brand new merch with our new merch partner, Fantasy by Numbers at fantasybynumbers.ca slash spout. No, wait. Spout Lore.com slash merch. Or fantasybynumbers.ca slash Spout Lore. Or fantasybynumbers.ca slash Spout Lore. Thanks for listening.

We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without. The resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore. Thank you.

Uh if you like spout more no wait is this me or if you like Spout Lore and you want to hear more of it go to patreon.com Spout Lore and maybe if you give them enough money they'll release me and we can see each other again I've been in this bar for years save me gather around friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tucker's the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight this is a dream a dream Hello, everybody.

And welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. And joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hi. What the fuck was that? Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello. I'm playing Fat Billy, the half-league thief, Jessica Tai. Hi. Everybody's so sure. We're getting right into it. No wasted syllables. I'm using all up the syllables that you guys say. Can you just get to the point, Sean? Sean, we've been trying to end this show for six years.

Nine seasons. You guys are drawing it out, introducing more and more NPCs in there and fucking narrative plot points. Holy shit. We're on a boat again? When are we going to finish the hot dog festival? I've been trying to get back there since 2017. Get back the schloss me to death. Who poisoned Dan's schloss me? Why do I have all these wooden tokens if we're not going back to the festival? I would like to vote. We abandoned the current plot. And all the goals. Love it. And we go right back down.

To the hot dog festival. To figure this out. I wanted on record that I tried to get you guys to go back to Mudlark three years ago. Yeah. And you remove it. Back then, we did not want to. Yeah, because it was pre-pandemic. The world was different, Sean. Yeah. Hillary Rodham Clinton was president of the United States of America. When last we left our heroes, they were enjoying a trek ride in a cargo container full of dogs. Billy snuck up to the front.

And introduced a brand new NPC and friend in the form of Trev Driver. Cinnamon bro extraordinaire. Yep. Who also has… Sorry, Jessica's so tired, she's physically holding her eyelids open. And every time I look over, it freaks me out. Oh, is that what you're doing? She looks white now. Every time I look over, I'm like, who's this? My eyes are already huge. Jessica does have really big eyes. Just like that, Abdul. Abdul looks more white. Whoa. Nope. Never mind. I'm white. He looks less white.

Look at my eyes. Look at my white eyes. Give me your land. Give me your land. Give me your land and your culture. You look like those scary masks in the museum. Yeah. Yeah. The more you reveal just bare eyeballs, the more you look like that racist puppet that Jeff Dunham made. I'm Jeff Dunham's puppet. Trev Driver. Ice road trucker. Working on himself. Up and down. In a relationship. Cinnamon bro. A thing that he keeps suggesting is a real thing.

I think that this is a bit of a, like, there's a group of people that Oleg has inducted into the Cinnamon Guild. Might be. Might be. We learned some things about the greater goings on of the world. It was a real hangout in a truck with a new guy episode. It was nice. Yeah. So we learned about Trev and we learned about carbonated energy drinks, how those exist. We learned that there is a war brewing in the principalities. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The current climate, basically the state of the world has provided an opportunity for one of the princeps to move on a neighboring territory. Fucking wicked. And also that there have been storms throughout the North and smaller communities have been getting hit pretty hard. And that Trev swears he saw a giant white Thunderbird emerge from the clouds one night while he was driving. Pretty cool. Oh, and as a result of the war, the frozen North has been upping production on military equipment.

We learned a bit about the war. We learned a bit about the North in that they are a seceded former territory of the kingdom of Kinos who isolated themselves and militarized. So cool. Arcanics we think might be a big deal here. Magical technology using leftover magical energy stored up in the frozen ice of the North. We got stopped at a checkpoint. Mm hmm. Billy saved the group by creating an illusion of everyone looking like a monster.

Like a big bag of beans that was shaped like Tuck, a Tuck shaped bag of beans. Yeah. One of the guys was like, that's the fattest bag of beans I've ever seen. Don't say it. Don't say it. Everybody covered my mouth. Yeah. And then as we sailed away, moving closer to sheer city, Ving was looking out the window at a copse of trees that they passed. Beautiful. An arrow soared through the air. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Slammed into the wood just beneath the window. So sick. Drive faster.

That is where we find our heroes now. Driving faster? Yeah. What happened? Go. Okay. An arrow. And he pulls his wheel off the front and slams it down and it whips the reins on the dog part. And they all kick it into overdrive. Oh my God. So sick. What's going on? What's going on? I pulled the arrow out of the side of the door and show it to him. I look at it. I inspect the arrow, discern realities of the arrow. Yeah. Discern realities. 2d6 plus wisdom. Eight. Okay. So you get one question.

Who's really in control here? Okay. So who is really in control here? This arrow is fletched in a style that is very reminiscent of the Ranger King's Talon. Talon being? Talon being a unit in the Ranger Corps. Oh shit. Yeah. I have a whole thing for how the Ranger Corps works. Cool. Somebody roll Spout Lore so I can. Make this be useful. Seven. Yeah. So the smallest unit of the Ranger Corps is the Talon, which is comprised of six Rangers of more or less equal status.

A wing is composed of six Talons. And out of all of those wings, there are led by an individual Ranger called the first Talon. Cool. And then the next step is the flight, which is composed of six wings. And the leaders of those wings are usually Rangers of great renown. Six. Sick. Yeah. So the Ranger Kings, this arrow is fletched in a style that you remember being very reminiscent of the Rangers in your father's wing. Oh yeah. And the different wings are fletched in the feathers of that.

Like there's like Osprey. Yeah. Owl. So what's your father's style? What's the feather they use? Raven. Raven. Tight. Whoa. That's so thematically on point. Yes. With how like dark a countenance he has. Yeah. Death. Yeah. And the black wolf. Fucking sweet. Dude. Ravencore. So Talon wing flight. Yes. Cool. There are six total flights in the Ranger Corps and each is represented by an individual Ranger without formal rank.

They are technically part of the echelon structure, but are rarely forced to bicker for votes. When one of them speaks, the others listen. These figures are functionally legends, often very long lived and survivors of countless conflicts across hundreds of years. If my sleeves were rolled up, I would be showing you all of the goosebumps that I have. There's a ton of work to be done.

Uh yeah so one of those is the ranger king that's so cool and I think we decided that dathaniel's called the ranger king because he is a ranger as well as a noble yeah which is uncommon in the ranger corps I'm sure there are lots of princes that are rangers but your father is like yeah a noble noble and a high-ranking ranger yeah he's not the king of the rangers no there's a king among rangers exactly it's so cool that like dathaniel's rule is so unchallenged that he can fuck off and be a ranger for a while and come back and not have to worry about like wars of succession or whatever uh yeah so you're holding an arrow with raven feathers it's my father's arrow the raven I'm saying this just to the arrow and to tuck and to billy I look at the window can I see anything no can I see anything uh you can try yeah 2d6 plus wisdom for discern realities 10 what here is not what it appears to be cool uh so you are basic because this copse of trees that you were passing is long past you now but billy you like poke your head out the window to try and get a look at it be careful and um just the barest little glimmer through your bill noculars you see what looks to be like a bush at the base of a tree move away and disappear into the into the shadows and uh what should I be on the lookout for so you you turn back into the cabin and kind of tell everybody what you saw yeah and ving you would know that based on the fact that it was one shot and it hit where it hit whether or not this was your father directly it doesn't matter this is a message this arrow to you communicates everything it's we know you're here we know where you are we're watching you oh yeah because they could have killed us if they wanted to they don't miss that's the thing that's the thing they hit the truck where they hit the truck because that's where they wanted to hit it yeah so they wanted to let you know that they were close yeah yeah so not really even trying to hide then no no and neither are we I'm sitting in the front seat I'm not on the lam at all and tuck is sitting in the little bucket seat in the middle and in the second row yes because I lost roshamboa I'm just whistling shotgun the whole way there uh yeah so that's that's what you learn is that this was just a message so do I keep going or is there something you need to take care of absolutely don't stop okay not even for a little pee pee not even for a little pee pee not even but what if I have to take a little pee pee well we got all these empties yeah you piss into this can dude what do you usually do for pee pee I pee out the window while I'm driving I look check it out and he rolls down the window and he puts one hand on the wheel but then he like lifts his body up and like just hangs his crotch at the window wow throw one leg over the window yeah see check it out check it out there's pee going all over him yeah no I wasn't I mean you know I wasn't trying to pee my pants are still on I was just trying to show you how I did it but doing the movement actually just activated that in my body and now I'm peeing all over the place I hear you're trying to pee trevor I sit down to pee and I sometimes I shit a lot you know sometimes that happens to me too when I'm doing this it's just a biological impulse wait are you telling us that you shit your pants on a regular basis or that sometimes when you sit down to pee in a bathroom you accidentally shit yeah it's surprising you know you didn't answer you just said yes yes I I sit down and I surprise shit a lot man I get it though there's a wise person once told us every poo-poo time is pee-pee time but not every pee-pee time is poo-poo time you know what I mean damn that's deep yeah wow really makes you think about when you should be peeping and pooping ving's writing it down billy's looking over ving's shoulder while he writes it down and he is thinking hard about the don't even stop for a little pee-pee as you guys pass a another trek stop he's like we gotta keep going well here's the thing dude we got two groups on our ass now one is the coppers and then two is the fucking rangers maybe do you really want to get caught in the middle of that also you're totally unlicensed I don't need a license I'm freelance that means that I am untouchable by the laws of man and god I also thought the same thing too until tax time rolled around and I learned so much what what do you what billy you've paid taxes bill you've been paying the taxes have you not been paying the taxes I mean that's what perel told me the thing slides open yeah what's up have you been explaining to billy about taxes what's that maggie are you making billy do your taxes I gotta do there's a dog back here he needs my help bye he said if I didn't pay taxes I would go to jail I'm going in the back I go to the back who did you pay billy did you pay him yes I'm shaking him down slapping his shit I it was I thought it was funny at first I'm sorry and then I just I really need the cash how much money have you made off our kid I don't know a hundred hundred fifty coins he I think he's taking it from other people yeah he's a thief I don't want to go to jail and I don't know what I own taxes you're making him steal more I'm it what are you using the money for well I'm you know I'm buying us supplies and stuff you mean your hats um a hat is a supply and mustache is a supply silk scarf is for me but I deserve a little treat now and again it's gonna be hard to pay my taxes up here billy there's you don't have to pay taxes in the north what you guys are freelance you don't have to pay taxes up north I'm free I'm being lance or free I'm free lance billy looks wistfully out the window free from all his taxes freelancers are basically sovereign citizens that all follow the teachings of a guy named lance who is like I am not subject to any laws zing opens a bottle free free lancer uh I I here you go any hands over a bag how many coins are in there there's 150 coins yes I kept all my receipts and I would get returns through return scams that I was doing wait you didn't spend any of the money billy gave you no like I would keep the stuff but I would do like a little returns like I'd buy a hat and then I'd get the box and then I'd put a bunch of dirt in the box and say I don't want the hat anymore prel I'm really proud of you billy I'm so impressed you know what here you go and he takes the bag back from tuck and he gives it to billy no no it's your tax return I don't want it you're the new thief now and tuck starts a slow clap and prel puts his hands up oh guys come on come on and the dogs start howling because they don't know this what are you guys fucking doing back there to my dogs I can show you guys how to return scams if you want hell yeah fuck yes we spend the money on the dog and then we go to the rest of the trip learning about return scams there's a montage yeah with no audio as prel's pointing at a whiteboard that has like a box with a hat in it and a box with an x in it he's just got a piece of chalk on the wall of the of the chip yeah and you continue on at the end you learn all about how to scam a store out of uh their merchandise while still getting a return on an item and then at the end he's like so yeah if you go in and you look rich they're not gonna question it that's very good tuck that's what it is is rich people get to do whatever they want so you got to pretend to be a rich person sick yeah and then you hear trev in the front going like oh I think we're we're almost at the city guys oh sick so what do you want to what do you want to do here do you know anywhere that we can go or stay in the city is there is there an inn or uh something like that oh yeah I mean like sheer city's like uh it's like a for real city but do you know where we're secret because cinnamon bros and wanted posters yeah where people kind of won't ask questions about us or tell the cops about us uh-huh yeah uh yeah so he does know a place let's talk about it I kind of like it being a motor inn what's the proprietor's name is their cabin you know like how every truck has their own cabin but it's like you stayed in your cabin for weeks now stay in spencer's cabin or whatever it could be like an old building like ironwood or something oh yeah I like that yeah it could be an old bunker yep because it's such a military yeah so they built it out of ironwood to a stand like attack yeah there's like tons of fireplaces in the building to keep everyone warm oh yeah maybe that's why it's called a motor inn because there's an engine that runs at the center of it that makes that heats it up like it's an device uh-huh yeah why waste energy just heating when you can do other stuff with it totally yeah that's cool so these places where there are these old arcane engines deep in the city there's a lot of things working off these few city centers and so maybe shutting those down you can shut down sections of the city oh yeah so like neighborhoods will be built around one of these engines yeah these cool I like them being called hearts yeah yeah because you would build stuff there but you'd also like you would eat there you know or cook there or something like that yeah so it's an old military bunker but it's made out of ironwood and I think you know like attachments have been built onto it yeah you know to house um a few of the widziano's um a few widziano's um a few widziano's um a few widziano's um a few widziano's um a few like a smoke tent.

Maybe there's like a little like communal pool. Like a YMCA here basically. Yeah, sort of thing. You guys are staying at the YMCA. For truckers. But for truckers. Yeah, it's got everything. Yeah, so you pull in to this place. It's outside the city so like you don't have to go through another checkpoint basically. Oh, cool. But there are a lot of people milling about and you do see like a lot of guards just kind of around. It seems like something's going on. Okay. At least in the city.

Like the city is very busy right now. Like there are a bunch of other ice tracks that have pulled in. Cargo? Yeah, seems like it. And some people don't have their cargo containers anymore. Like looks like some people have dropped stuff off and are on their way back. What if it's attached to like a little like railroad system? Sort of like a small cargo railroad system so that you don't have to obviously bring the ships into the city. That's so sick. Like cargo trains that'll take.

Yeah, if it's your last stop you can unload. That makes so much sense. It would be cool if this train kind of like went all over the city. Yeah, it does. There are like passenger versions of it and then there's cargo trains that also like at this meeting of where like the docks are and then all the roads coming in from the north kind of meet this one central train station. That's so cool. That's sick. I like that a lot. When you said that I also thought gondolas.

If the city like existed on some kind of incline, it would make sense that there would. Maybe some of the docks down to the shipyards, there's a gondola off some cliff somewhere. I know old share when we talked about it for the first time, I think it was said that there's cliffs ice cliffs. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe it's like shelves like terraced spots. You know what I mean? So there's yeah, there's passenger trams and then also gondolas that go up to the higher parts.

A lot of people like the poor people, the people that use the trains as a non-sanctioned transportation. Oh yeah. Yeah. Right in the rails. Because you like if you're living on the outskirts, but you work at the you just take the cargo train. Yeah. Yeah. Great. So who what's who's the proprietor? Feels like a retiree kind of thing. I think it that ex-military orc. Yeah. I like that. Yep. An old orc. What do we call him? Yorick. Yorick. That's cool. Yorick's pretty good. Yorick's cabin.

I like that. Yeah. Yorick works. Cool. So are you guys staying here or are you just using this as a place to sneak into the city? I think our priority would be like try to find transportation further north. Yeah. Because we are ultimately heading to the glacier. Okay. Yeah. We don't need to be in sheer right now. No. We're just trying to get information about Natternack. And we are ultimately going to their tower, right? Yeah.

I think we just came to sheer city because that was like the closest we could get. That's where the truck was going. Yeah. So this is actually a good place to maybe pick up more transport. Yeah. Is there anyone going further north? Oh yeah. Probably. There's people going all over the place. Trekkers? Yeah. Can you introduce us to one? A trustworthy one? A cinnamon bro one? Cinnamon bro, eh? I'll see what I can find. You guys go get some grubs or something. I'll be right back.

Should we go into this Yorick's pub? Yeah. Yeah. So what does the inside of Yorick's look like? I think it's pretty dark. It's in the wood. Does it have like an old like country jukebox kind of music going on? Do we have a jukebox? At the trucker stop? I want to stay away from we just left the husky. Yeah. I don't think we have one. Oh yeah. I don't think this is the kind of place as like jovial as husky place. I'm thinking of like the prancing pony kind of. Yeah. Totally.

But behind the bar there's like an old orc. Maybe there's not a lot of people that he's like really like oh yes! Welcome! Like trying to make this shithole. So funny. Trying to sell us on staying here. Yeah. Okay. So there's an old orc behind. What is he? Is he trying to dress to impress? He's maybe got like a shitty little bow tie on. Sleeve garters? Sleeve garters. Oh he's got like those piratey linen shirts. Oh yeah. Totally. Everything's Oscar the Grouch did his whole like full. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Absolutely. And he's wearing this like wool scarf. Yeah totally. It's cold. It is cold. It's cold all over the place here. I like his wool scarf. You do? Welcome to your XR. Please come in. Come in. Thank you. Come in out of the cold. It's actually colder in here. Oh that's part of the charm at Yorick's. It hasn't been warm in here in 55 years. Do you have blankets? Do I ever? And he rushes off to the back and he comes back with an armful. Do I ever? Do I ever? Slam slam. Bang bang bang.

Clang clang. Behold here your finest blankets this side of something else. And he throws out blankets to everybody. Thank you. Thank you. Maggie and Perel in the back. They're also here. Here's all your blankets. Now what can I? And he starts shining the bar. What can I do for you? The rag is dirtier. It's making the bar dirty. Do you have like a hot soup? I got a cold soup. It's good for the bones. Keeps the joints stiff. Yeah. Stiff? I think I do need a bit of more stiffness in my body.

So let's do that. Yeah you don't want your joints too loose. That's how your joints get old and loose. There you go. And he slops out an ice cold bowl of stew. That he pushes across to Billy. And then he scoops a bunch of ice cubes. It was hot to start. He cools it down. Thank you. Make sure to let those melt first. Okay. Okay. He's trying to melt the ice cubes. No no no no no. Don't blow on them. It's too hot. Do you have a menu? Uh well. Menu's up here. He points to his head. Okay.

There's only menu Yorick needs right here. Okay. Do you have like eggs? No. Do you have any greens? No. Browns? It depends on what kind of brown you're talking about. Do you have gravy? No. Toast? No. Dog food? Yes. That's for the dogs though. Do you have bread of any kind? No. Do you have cheese? No. Do you have like a meat? No. Do you have cold stew? Yes. There we go. Cold stew. I think I know what he has. Okay. We'll have some of the cold stew. Four cold stews coming right up.

Cold stew gives me hiccups. Slides it across the bar. Puts the ice cubes in each of them. Make sure your mother does melt. Okay. Don't touch it. Let it melt. Okay. It's part of the tradition of the meal. You let the meal cool itself. Okay. Yeah. Sounds good. And then Tuck's like oh what kind of alcohols do you have? Because he wants to distract him away so he can get some of these fucking ice cubes out of the stew. You trying to distract me away from the ice cubes son? No dude.

I am interested in those interesting bottles behind you. Well in that case. He turns around. Okay. 2d6 plus what to get him. Dexterity. To fish these out. Dexterity. Dexterity I guess. Yeah. Seven. Seven. So he comes back around. This is a bottle of old blue. Old blue what? Alcohol. Alcohol. And because you as you know in the hospitality. Of your ex since you asked me to get this bottle you got to pay for it. What what five courts he points to the door. There's a sign clearly there.

Management reserves the right to make you pay for bottles of alcohol you ask about or look at in parentheses. I think I know why a lot of people aren't in here. We're the only people in here. You are. It's then that you look back and the tables are like dusty. Can I Spout Lore slash have an idea about this old old blue. Yeah totally. Yeah. Okay. Is it like glacier water that they've made into alcohol it's sort of like an absinthe where it's like because got a little bit of magic in it.

It makes you like hallucinate a bit if you drink a lot. I like that. I love that. Sweet. Magic alcohol. Yeah. What's it taste like? Is it just water that is somehow alcoholic or is it because it has magic in it it feels like it's alcohol. I think it passes by some sort of route. It's like the distillment of when the glaciers melt in the runoff but really early runoff and it goes by. Yeah they harvest these roots and they ferment it like you know.

I was going to say licorice root because of absinthe but it doesn't have to be. Oh could be. No that's cool. Yeah. It tastes like licorice but also like you're licking a battery. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's that's the story old blue and now that I'm talking about it it's fancier than that so it's 10 coins. Fuck. You're it. What? I have to make sure I'm accurately pricing my goods young boy.

I understand that you haven't been pricing a lot of goods because it doesn't look like you've had a lot of business in quite some time. Well Yorick says a bit of a discerning clientele if you know what I mean. I just haven't any old wonder about coming through my doors. He's shining us on and I like it. Okay fine. Who has the money then? Perel. You've got the money. I thought this was my money. I know it is but now yours is ours and what's ours is ours. Okay whatever. Here you go.

Maybe he can return the bottle. Get his 10 coins back and Yorick scoops it off the table into his apron. Does Yorick walk away? No I'm standing right here. Well we have to have a conversation now. Carry on. And he crosses his arms. Ving flips him a coin. Thank you. This is for It's not that kind of place son. Wait do you watch us talk? I don't have to. Alright fine. Come to New York's place for all his finest stuff. I don't even get to listen to your conversation. He goes into the back room.

That's maybe one of the least personable innkeepers I've ever met in my entire life. And you hear him start slamming down pots like he's really embarrassed. Ving is everyone like this up here? As far as I remember all innkeepers are incredibly cold and poor and pushy. That sucks. He hasn't been to many inns though. Keep that in mind. Right you were a prince. This is my first inn. But you want to impress us. Yeah exactly. You know I don't know I thought he was kind of cool.

It's a nice little energy that he brought you know. Sometimes it's nice to just tell a customer to fuck off you know. It worked for you. It sure did. It sure did. Okay what did you guys want to talk about? I don't know. Well I want to talk about what we're doing next but also I had an idea which is rare. Are you okay? Yeah no. She had a concussion? Okay I'm sorry. He thought so hard he gave him a second concussion. I'm fine. I'll be fine. I just can't sleep for the next few hours.

But for real though he points at the blue alcohol and he points at Perel and he's like do you think if you drink this whole thing you will get your magic back? I didn't say it was a good idea. I just said it was an idea. But I'm looking at Perel like do you think? Well I mean it's definitely an idea. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. He's like slowly peeking back around the door. Okay here we go. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug.

He starts chugging it and he coughs it up. Oh it's so intense. It tastes like rummy alcohol. Can this be my spell lord? Uh yeah sure. To see if like this alcohol will make Perel magic again? For a moment? Or even yeah give him a little bit of it because if he's drinking it. He's drunk? Yeah. 2d6 plus intelligence. Ooh.

Everybody pray that this is a 12 because we might have a way to get Perel a little bit of magic back every once in a while while also making him drunk which would be so funny and useful. Please. Please. Eight. Eight. Minus one is fucking. Seven. Seven. Oh man. Okay. It's okay. Uh so. Interesting. Yeah interesting but not useful. Did we talk about the like the candle thing that he was doing? The like burning the candle and like meditating in front of it? Did we talk about what he was doing?

Not really. He just said that it didn't work. Yeah so I'm thinking maybe that thing that he was trying to do would work now a little bit. Oh cool. When he's drunk he can use his ion candle. When he's drunk he can perform the boundless thought principle. And what is that again? It's he's basically folding his brain into different instances so he can think about multiple things at once fully. That's so cool Sean. So he drinks all of this alcohol over the course of a few minutes.

Cause he's a bitch. He's a lightweight for sure. I imagine it's like a wine bottle though. Yeah totally. Yeah. Yeah it's big. Okay. It's like a 750 mil of blue cacao. So I think I've got about six or seven minutes before this gets really fucked up. Hey Eric. Yeah. Could we get a room? Alright yo. Um uh yeah. Give me five minutes. Fifty bucks for the one you're in now. And he runs off like through the bar like through the empty darkened tables just to the other side of the room.

He's holding a hammer and a band saw close it off. We don't know what it's for. You might have been using it to cook. He might be using it to open the sounds like he's chasing a chicken possibly to pluck it for maybe a pillow and uh yeah five minutes later. Come on. Yeah, come on. You got a room for you and he's kind of like tottering a little bit because his joints are so stiff. I pick up Perel like a baby because he can't stand Hey, thank you so much for this. Yeah, no problem, buddy.

Thanks for drinking all that alcohol for gonna be so sick. So soon hold it in man. Just hold it in for a little, you know, if you hold your thumb in your hand, you don't gag. He puts both of both his thumbs in his hands and he goes gags right away. He's like I can't I can't do that and uh York takes you to a room that looks like what it looks like it had been a boarded up.

He forgot to take down the like a city and like notice of like closure health risk and he's like pulling sheets off furniture and like off of this is our finest room and there's a mirror on the ceiling the bench shaped like a heart. What's this room called? This is called the mirror over the bedroom. Wow. Very elegant. It is. It's an old um orcish custom where it's good for your spirit to see your bodies having a restful sleep. No way. And for looking at your lover's bums and missionary.

I would know because I'm an orc and that is orcish custom. Wait a second. I am an orc for sure. That much is guaranteed. Have a good night. Oh, by the way, 50 coins. 50 coins. Okay, 20 coins. 20 coins. No, that's not how this works. 15. 15 deal. 5. Wait. Yes. No. 8? No. 11. Okay. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop saying words. Just give him 14 coins. I'm throwing 10 coins out the hallway. He's running after them. Slam the door locket. There's no lock. The lock is Billy sits in front of the door.

I go to slam the door and it just goes all the way open. Like a saloon door. Yeah, and Perel flops down on the bed and he goes I'm feeling something for sure. I think I'm a wizard again. He stands up and he stands up to his full height and he stretches his arms in the air and he's stretched too far forward and he starts to tip over. Okay. All right. I'm not a wizard anymore or any. I'm not magic, but I think and then his eyes open.

And they like look into the middle distance and he you just hear him say, Oh my God. What? What? I can see it. What? What? I can see it all. What? And he drops down into a sitting position crossing his legs, puts his hands on his knees and closes his eyes. Perel? I'm so fucking drunk right now. Do you have the ion candle? Should we take out the ion candle? Give me the candle. Light it. Give me my candle right now. I'm trying. This thing's out of focus. It's a fucking fuel. It's a candle.

It doesn't have fuel, you dumb fuck. Can you light this? Yes. I gotta use my elemental master. Guys, I'm gonna boss share piss in three minutes. Perel, you gotta hold it in. You gotta hold it in for us. I'm gonna fucking triple right now. All my holes are gonna be on full alert. You gotta close those holes, Perel. Close those holes, buddy. If I was a wizard, I could close these holes so perfectly. You are a wizard. You are a wizard. I am a wizard.

Yeah, all that shit and piss and puke has magic in it. I'm running out of time. You gotta light that candle. Okay, I'm gonna elemental mastery this candle. You're gonna what? What? I'm trying to start a fire. Two dicks plus constitution. So, I got eight. Uh-huh. Affect the desire comes to pass. So, I won't retain control. Uh-huh. Or avoid paying nature's price. This might just mean that you burned the candle really fast. No. No, we can't lose this candle.

Unless, I mean, he doesn't have much time left. Anyway, I can see his cheeks are all puffing up. Flare the shit out of it to see if it, like, really gives him some juice. Who knows? Let's do it. Let's do it. And you pay nature's price. I pay nature's price. So, you set the candle down. The flame is guttering. Yeah. Doing this, rubbing my hands with the wick in between my palms. And, woof. And it burns hard. And Perel breathes in. Deeply. And hiccups. And breathes out.

And you can see his eyes fluttering like he's in REM sleep. Like his pupils are moving so wildly behind his eyes. He's sitting there for like 45 seconds, basically. And the flame on the candle flares up. Uh-oh. And suddenly winks out. And Perel opens his eyes and goes, I know how to get my magic back. Whoa. What? What? And he passes out. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's okay. It's okay. Is he still breathing? Yeah. Tuck puts his nose in Perel's mouth. Is there air coming out?

I didn't know you were a paramedic. And he's like, yeah, he's breathing. Okay. Nice. Smells like a burning cigarette factory in there. Yeah. And Maggie grabs Perel under the armpits and throws him up on the bed. Uh-huh. And goes, what the fuck was that? What happened? I put him in the recovery room. Reposition just in case. Yeah. That's a good idea. He's definitely gonna barf piss and shit. Yeah. So, I mean, I'm gonna stay here with Perel and make sure he doesn't fucking eat his tongue.

But what's next? What are you guys gonna do? And Ving, as she's speaking, you start blinking a lot and you feel kind of lightheaded. Then your vision clouds. No. What? And you see clouds whipping past you. You feel just a heart hammering thundering, per se, in your chest. You know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it's behind you. Your life is a hair's breadth away from being taken from you. Oh my god.

And you burst through the cloud cover and you see in the distance a city glittering on the shores of an arctic sea. And then you're back on your knees on the ground. I run outside. Oh, yeah. I follow. Billy follows. Yeah, so you run out and the moment you exit, the door of Yorick's far, far in the distance, you see a dark shape duck down out of the cloud cover. And coming out of the clouds behind him is a powerful-looking, large, bone-white thunderbird. Whoa.

Cloudpiercer's being pursued by Thronebreaker for whatever reason. And you can feel that Cloudpiercer knows that you're there and that you can see him, but he also knows that if he gets any closer, he's drawing Thronebreaker too close to you. But people in the crowd, like people outside this place, start looking up and calling out as they see these two massive birds coming out of the clouds. It's like when, in movies, when like… Like a meteor? Yeah, meteors.

People are like, what the fuck is going on? Slow screaming? Yeah. Oh, and there's that sound as they're flying just under the clouds. You can hear the thunder. They're like cracking? Yeah, as they're flying so fast, it sounds like they're breaking the sound barrier, basically. So cool. There's huge cracks and peels of thunder over you. Lightning starts building in the clouds, but Cloudpiercer pulls up back into the clouds. Looks like he's drawing Thronebreaker away. Oh my god, he needs our help.

I need to get up there. I want to use elemental form to transmute my body into a form made from the raw elements and I want to get up there. Okay, so you're going to take an elemental form. Yep. So a form of moonlight. What form are you taking? I'm on my knees, just gathering all this snow and permafrost. Grit and frozen earth around me and just lifting it up like a sheet. Like the first top thick first foot of hard packed snow and ice and rocks and grit.

And then jump up and kind of splay my hands out the side. They shoot out into wings. I want to make a giant thunderbird. Wow. Out of ice and stone. Yeah, fucking cool. Get up into the sky. That's so sick. I imagine when the rocks and the permafrost is floating around you, you're kind of like stepping on it like stairs to get into it. Oh, I like that a lot. Like strapping into the mech. Yeah. This thing walking up to it.

Wing, wing, either arm and the top of the bird is all white because it's snow and then it goes into clear and then black on the bottom because of all the rock and everything. Well, let's roll it. Let's hope you do it. Okay, I really hope I do. 2d6 plus wisdom. Alright, constitution for elemental form. Elemental form. Eight. Okay, eight. Perfect. So I get to hold. Yes.

And you take this form of this majestic powerful sinister near almost looking bird of stone and permafrost and take off into the sky. Not yet. I can't do this alone. And Tuck is like, I got you, buddy. And then he like whips the battle axe off his back and then he tosses his backpack to a random person in the crowd. And then I run up to that person. I'm like, give me that. And then he, yeah, he jumps on your back and I make a little saddle for him. Oh, yeah. No saddle. Perfect.

Is Billy going up with him? Billy? Am I invited? I mean, I don't want to put you in harm's way, but I could really use you. I know how powerful you are. I'm on. I have got Tuck's backpack on too. Nice. This massive backpack on this little boy. I know he has a tiny backpack, but it's still as big as Billy. Yeah. This is basically the magic school bus heading out. You're all strapped in. Please let this be a normal field trip with the frizz. No way. What? Fly up into the sky.

And that's, we're flying. We're soaring into the air. Powerful wing beats. And my kimono gets ripped off. I forgot you were wearing a kimono. You finally lost the kimono. It's been episodes. So many episodes. Someone in the crowd, it lands in their face and they're like, ooh. What's that powerful masculine musk? Smells weird. And super masculine. Also, any semblance of secrecy that we had in the town just gone. Anyway, you're now powering through the skies above Sheer City.

The wind is like knives on our faces. Yeah. Tuck's put on his glasses to protect against the wind a little bit. And yeah, the clouds are coming. Okay. Going towards it. Getting in there. I want to follow this trail. Can I close my eyes? Can I try and see what he sees? Yeah, you close your eyes for a moment inside your ice and permafrost bird mech. And I can see the screaming beak of Thronebreaker. Thronebreaker, yeah. Cloudpiercer's turned around and is like swiping and pecking and biting.

It scares the shit out of me. Yeah. It's terrifying. And you come through the cloud cover into the realm above the clouds. This is the domain of Thronebreaker. Towering mountains of cloud above you. No earth to be seen below. Brilliant blue skies above. And pandemonium. So many? Dozens of thunderbirds. All locked in battle. Some sort of war that's been taking place above the clouds this whole time. That no one has been privy to. Holy shit. What's going on?

Great torrents of wind and lightning and huge peals of thunder as if the very elements themselves, the sky itself is rending under the power of their fury. Fucking metal, dude. He lifts his axe up. Yeah. As this bolt of lightning comes down behind you. Yes, Billy looks like he's dressed in like a fur bikini for some reason. And Tuck is like, fans, somebody draw this. What's that guy's name? We did all the crazy. Yeah. Yeah. This fucking rules.

And you see Cloudpiercer and Thronebreaker off in the distance locked in battle. Cloudpiercer is definitely trying to get away. Thronebreaker is a massive specimen. Though Cloudpiercer, you notice, is much larger than the last time you saw him. But between you and them are battling thunderbirds. I want to go up high. Instead of going in, I'm going to go way, way up high. Hold on. Are you going to use one of your hold or are you going to fly? I'm going to fly. Okay. 2d6 plus strength. Six.

Oh, can I aid? Yes. Thank you. How are you aiding? I am working as like a conduit for all that spiritual energy. Right. Yeah. Ten. Oh, fuck yeah. Cool. You start flying up this kind of slope of dark gray thundercloud. Billy on the back acting like a little backup battery. Yeah, actually, how I do this is I talk in like fairy language to the element. You start talking in tongues. Yeah, like very quietly. So sick.

And Billy has to lash out with his voice and admonish a spirit as like you see a powerful like claw emerged from the thundercloud like made of cloud and lightning. Whoa. And it swipes at Ving, but Billy like castigates it like in the fairy language and it recedes. So cool. And this episode took a turn. Yeah, it did. Here I thought, we're just going to go to like Valley Village. I know I wanted. I want to fancy so bad. No, this is great.

Actually, we cut back to like the Valley Village that we would have gone to and you just hear young and loose and lovely and people are just like wheeling your car but in the window at the back, you could see tumbling men made of ice and fire. Someone looks at a tag on a button down shirt and is like 50 bucks. This is the worst day of my life. The imp from girl from girl. There's so many different versions of this song that we've done on this show.

And yeah, you carry up along this towering slope of storm cloud rising above spiraling, spiraling a pair of Thunderbirds locked their talons locked blood and feathers streaming as they spiral down towards the cloud cover. Tuck it. Tuck his leaned in to Ving like as close as he can because the wind is like ripping me off. That's really good. Wind is what ripping me off. It really did sound. What did I say? It sounds really sexual. It's so funny, but we made a sexual. I know I can't help it.

The wind is fucking ripping me off. I'm ripped so tight and I'm pressed into Ving's back. I'm pressed into Ving and I'm getting ripped off hard and you crest the top of this cloud. Great. And now I want to like tuck in. Hold on. I have an idea and make ourselves a missile to go for now using the gravity and like, but yes, are you using a hold? Are you rolling? I'm going to use one of the hold. Yeah, you spend when you're hold. You've got it.

And what is your goal with this to hit thrown threat thrown breaker Thrasher. You named him thrown breaker. I want you to know that renamed him. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Roll your damage. Two. So you tuck in your wings. Yeah. And do a spiral down. Yeah. And just shoot. Tuck and Billy are barely holding on. I want that. So either you can stay locked in this fight for as long as you want, or this could be an opportunity for you to basically tackle cloud piercer out of the fight.

That's what I was initially trying to do is tackle him out of the fight. So you spiral down like a rocket. Yeah. And you slam into a throne breaker and cloud piercer is able to remove himself from these claws and begins like soaring around in a circle and he calls down to you like no, what are you doing? I'm taking him down. I'm saving you. I also want to know what's going on. Yeah, me too. That claw. Yeah. Spirit claw spirit cloud claw. Yeah.

Is it the Thunderbirds and something else or is it the Thunderbirds fighting each other plus something else like I want to know should we just ask cloud piercer? I mean if you were to leave the battle and take some time to ask some questions, no time to ask question while I'm on things back. Who are you asking the question to the spirits? Can I do that? Well, you sold me on it. So yes, you can. So certain realities, I guess nine aid how I'm giving you repose.

I'm giving you a moment calm moment after we smash into him and then backing off and floating back to calm down and I'm following cloud piercer back as their own breakers reeling. Yeah, perfect. Okay, so two to six plus bond. Nice 11. Okay, so you get three questions off the list. Who who's really in control here? So you I'm asking the spirits. Yes, which spirit the storm doesn't matter.

There's one spirit here that is overpowering the rest by a long shot and it is a spirit that you are familiar with. This is a force a malice that you have felt before the storm. I the storm the storm is alive. They're trying to battle the storm. Oh shit Steve Graves storm that followed us it being released it. Okay, so so it's Lillian storm is what's in control here. Yeah, pretty much. So so that's grief while Lillian. So Lillian storm is a complicated thing.

Yeah, it's not just a manifestation of Lillian grief Lillian being the goddess of the moon. It was more something that cropped up around her grief and anger. Okay, and you feel that like rage and that anger but also the fury of like an unleashed animal. Okay. Yeah. How about this? What here is not what it appears to be between cloud piercer and throne breaker.

Yeah, so you're connecting with the feeling of this storm hearing and feeling the rage in the air and you feel that echoed in a large number of the Thunderbirds that are fighting but you feel the opposite from the others like you're you get the idea that one group of these Thunderbirds are fighting. With the storm and the others are fighting against it. Thronebreaker seems to be one of the birds fighting with the storm while cloud piercer is fighting against it.

So there's a faction of Thunderbirds that are who's like God is the storm. Yeah, like the storm you can feel whipping up around Thronebreaker as this like massive force. He's like the winds are buffeting every time he flaps his wings. I wonder if the storm is clouded his mind. Sounds like it.

What here is useful or valuable to me for whatever reason it seems like Thronebreaker is really focusing on cloud piercer like every time cloud piercer gets a little bit further away and begins to escape Thronebreaker breaks off of the fight and chases after him. It seems like cloud piercer is trying to distract and draw him away. Keep him occupied. Basically well piercers missing like feathers that don't grow back like there's yeah, you know what I can hold like battle scarred for sure.

Yeah, we're here to help. How can we help? Yeah, he says like follow me into the clouds and he just starts to fly away and goes for one of the like big pillars that doesn't look like it's full of horrible storm energy, but Thronebreaker immediately begins to like turn and give chase. He's much larger and it's harder for him to maneuver as quickly. Yeah, but yeah, cloud piercer begins to fly away. Oh, can I attack Stormbreaker? Yeah, absolutely. All right.

I want to turn around and jump off things. Back and at Stormbreaker with the axe. I want you to understand the stakes. I hope you do. Yeah, I guess again. We're going to slow motion lightning feeding behind you as you're jumping from the back of one Thunderbird into the face of another looks cool, which is honestly most of Tuck's motivation. This is going to be my album cover. So maybe that's what he screams. This is the cover.

I think as Bing is like turning to follow cloud piercer talk, you look behind and you realize he's not going to be able to get far enough before Thronebreaker attacks him. Yeah, Thronebreaker is fucking gaining on us and I can see the bees or like charging up kind of it feels like he's dragging an entire storm in his wake. So Tuck turns to Billy and he's like, all right, Billy, you hold on no matter what happens. Okay. Okay. And he's like, all right, here we go.

He's supposed to take CLC on his back and he jumps and that's seven, but I have three strengths. So it's strong boy. So hack and slash. The benefit is that Thronebreaker is coming right towards you. Yeah. So yeah, 2d6 plus strength for hack and slash man. This looks so this looks so cool. Yeah. Remember me. Remember me. Yeah. He meant to say remember this, but he said me. It really sounds like he's about to die. Well, he knows. He's not going to die because there's no trees up here.

All of a sudden, a tornado tree on fire. It found me. Okay, here we go. 2d6 plus strength for the attack. Hack and slash. Okay. Seven plus three is ten. Damn it. Wow. Jesus Christ. Okay. Here is a rule that I have always forgotten about until one of my Patreon groups reminded me of it while we were playing. So thanks to Patrick. A show Kevin and Andrew on a ten plus you deal your damage to the enemy and avoid their attack at your option.

You may choose to do an additional 1d6 but expose yourself to their attack. Oh, yes, I will do that. And the reason why he can do two damage is because he's got the axe in one hand as he's jumping. He pulls the waning knife out from behind his back. And it's a light with Lillian's light. I was gonna say do you think it's so bright right now? Yes, the clouds around are glowing. Oh my God. It's bright and purple. Yes, because we're in Lillian's storm. So it's charged up.

And the amethyst is glowing. Yeah. Okay. So lightning strikes the waning knife. Fucking waning knife. Yeah. It's a charge. I am using the power of their storm against them. Guys, this is so cool. It's so cool. It's been so long. I can't stand it. I can't stand it. It's like dead. Sabotage. Guys, we haven't rolled the damage yet. I'm so sorry. It's gonna be. It's charging up the dice. Yeah, let's charge them up with our powers. Yeah, let's roll with our powers of imagination.

Yeah, I am thousands of feet in the air. Yeah, waning knife in one hand, axe in the other purple light on the left and white light on the right as if I am both demon and angel coming for the king of all thunderbirds and the queen of the sky herself. The moon is so cool monologue flying through the air. Famous to himself. Just roll your damage man, please. Oh, my lord. And then the additional six. Yes. What? So ten damage. Ten damage. Ten damage is not nothing.

And if it wasn't for everything that you'd set up, I don't know that this would have done a huge amount of damage because he's a very tough bird. So you leap into the air feeling the presence of your family recede behind you, but knowing that you're traveling forward to protect their lives and you see this colossal thunderbird head as big as a fucking school bus. You know what I mean? Like massive animal.

And I am having second thoughts because I could not tell how big he was because of perspective. Really? Yeah, exactly. And also because of the glasses, they fuck with my depth perception. It looks so cool, but you look like such a nerd at the same time. Oh, yeah. And you leap forward. This bird coursing through the air towards you, shining waning knife in one hand, glowing axe in the other. You stab the knife into the side of Thronebreaker's head. Yes.

Bring the axe back and connect with the magical gem, the bezoar, the precious stone in the middle of his forehead. Yes. And it shatters under the power of the axe. Oh my God. Releasing a massive thunderclap and a force that is powerful enough to blow you off of his head. And then Tuck goes, I got blown off! Jesus Christ. And that is when you're going to roll 2d12. Oh, shit. So you're going to roll two of these and take the highest. Can I activate defend as well?

Because I'm acting in defense of my friends. This is more of a balls-out attack than it is a defense. And they were out, my friend. They're always out. Flapping hard. All right. Fair enough. Here we go. Both of them are eight. Both of them are eight. Which feels like fate. So you take eight damage. Eight. Yeah. Okay. That's not bad. That's a lot. That's not bad. Don't forget, I have two armor. Oh, man. No. No, say it.

I mean, it's always, I always love the idea of someone getting like a cool-ass scar from a fight. I kind of love the idea that much like his dark reflection in McCall, Tuck loses an eye. Whoa, like Fatum? But that might be too much. I think that's too much. Yeah. Yeah. What about like a crazy scar that like gives you like… Like the lightning scars that people get when they're… Oh, that's cool. That, I like that. Lightning.

And it's actually, it's connecting up the coin pieces that are in my chest. Oh, that's kind of sick. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Okay. So you feel, yeah, this electricity arcing through your body as the gem explodes. And I don't take the full damage because I have divine protection. And it's because like TLC are like filtering as much of the lightning out of me as they can. Well, you've got that lightning rod, of Rian. Yes. Also that. The lightning knife. Yeah. Yeah.

And it actually like it goes through the tree tattoo on my arm too. Like where it's like these like arcing burns are connected like from the coin shards to the tree tattoo. And Ving, you're tossed back a little bit with the force of this bezoar bursting. Like it's a shockwave around Thronebreaker. Who is notably not dead. Yes. But he like falls for what feels like a long time. Like that slow turn. Yeah. And then like dips below like begins to dip below the cloud cover.

We're both falling in parallel. Yeah. And you see an eye open. A fucking massive eye. How big is he? Is he like the size of an elephant? Isn't he like the size of a house we said? His head is the size. He's like a quarter mile long. Oh, that's intense. Yeah. He's really, really big. It's like I'm I fought a dragon. It's like I jumped out. I thought I was going to fight an albatross and I and then I got to him and I was like, this is a dragon. Yeah.

And he so he like his massive eye opens as you're falling. Tuck is falling by the way. I bolt for him. Yeah. And Tuck you see his eye open and kind of focus on you in that weird sideways like bird way, but he begins to write himself and as he dips below the clouds you see him flee. Ving. Yep. I'm in Paragon Falcon freefall wings tucked heading for for Tuck. Are you rolling for this? Yeah, I'm going to roll for strength. I guess or dexterity dexterity dexterity. Okay. Flap flap flap flap.

Nice 10 10. Perfect. Yeah. Yeah, you rock it towards Tuck. I'm like dodging shards of bees or grab one of them. Yeah. Oh, I think like maybe like the electricity and the power in them. There's like a field of shattered bees or like hanging in the air. Oh, yeah. Electricity arcing off of them. Oh my God. He's our shard. And yeah, you is Tuck. You're trying to let Tuck land on your back. You're trying to grab him. Yeah, I just like scoop him down underneath. Bam. Grab him and head down. Yeah.

Tuck slams into your back with the force of a thousand suns. Absolutely crushing Billy. Billy, are you okay? Fine. Okay. Cloud pieces to me right here Ving and he's like right next to you formed up off your wing. Okay, cool. And then I dig Billy out from under my belly. I am flat like a cartoon. Yeah. It's a blow into his thumb to pump himself back up. Are we safe? For now, that was no small blow that you struck Thronebreaker. He'll need to recover. Yeah, man. I blew that guy off so hard.

I warrior. You did blow him off. And then I I'm riding Ving like a knight. Yeah. There's like blood on me and stuff. It's a knight who has recently returned from battle. And then I find my head to him and I go, it is good to see you cloud piercer and you Tacoma and you young Billy. Why thank you. It is also an honor to be in your presence again. Quite now, please retreat. We must away. I know a place where we can take refuge amongst the peaks of the mountains. Oh, wow.

Yeah, the clouds will shield us. Cool. I turned to talk. I'm like, are you actually okay? And he leans into Billy and he's like, I think I think I got electrocuted pretty bad. I don't want to alarm you, but like, yeah, definitely. I'm seeing a lot of weird marks and scars on your body that weren't there before. I'm like, does it look cool? It looks so cool. I'm really jealous that you got to be the one to get those scars. Thanks. Do you think Allison will like it if we run into her?

No reason why I'm asking that specifically. I think she always likes running into you. Cool. Thanks. That's great. What an offhander. End question. Do you think we'll run into her again soon? I hope so. Yeah. Guys, stop looking at me when you say that. And Cloudpiercer leads you like above the clouds through the cover at one point. Like it looks like he's trying to kind of cover his tracks. Is there a team of Thunderbirds of his friends following us? Yeah.

Every once in a while, they'll form up, but like they try to not get too close together for too long. Cool. And it looks like because it looks like they're definitely trying to get somewhere without the other birds. Knowing where they're going. It would be cool if they intentionally go through like rainstorms to cover their scent. Yeah. So you're all soaked to the bone. Oh, yeah.

But eventually you arrive at it's like you're in the clouds and then very suddenly there is the face of a mountain in front of you. Holy shit. And Cloudpiercer alights on a cliff takes his place and goes here. Here we can rest amongst the peaks of the mountain. Is it just ice or is there any like nests or anything here? There's like, yeah, there's some nests that look like they're made out of, you know, fucking trees and shit like really big nests. Holy. Is this where you sleep, Cloudpiercer?

When there is time, the battle rages on. How long is the battle been going on? What are you fighting for? We are fighting for the protection of all bird kind. Who are you fighting against? Thronebreaker. His ilk and the storm. Why? The storm has clouded his mind. He seeks to spread the storm. If he has his way, the earth itself will be wiped clean. The storm that I unleashed. Yes. This is my fault. It is no fault of yours. No. The storm is uncontrollable.

Many have tried and failed to yoke it to their cause. But we did break it out of containment. I'm trying to get you off the hook a little bit here. I see what you're trying to do. I'm just saying there is some responsibility here. Possibly. And I appreciate you fighting our fight. Which is your fight. I'm not trying to take away your fight. Just sorry, dude. For doing this to you. And all your friends who died. That sucks. That sucks. Apology accepted, but unnecessary.

War is the fate of the warrior. And I, a warrior, am a warrior. That's deep. You really got stoic and serious and shit. War will do that to a bird. Do you still like to perform? Do you still know how to juggle? I haven't performed in nigh on however long it's been since I've seen you last. So you have not come to fight then? Not this war. We're fighting a bigger, bigger battle, my friend. What battle is that? I pull out the arrow. With the raven fletches on it. We're going for my father.

Nathaniel. My daddy. Daddy Nathaniel. Ah, I see. And we're also trying to get to a glacier that a wizard named Adernick Allwater used to live in. They said it was past a mountain range called the Jaws. Do you know where that is? Yes, but it is not a mountain range. What is it? It is a section of the ocean. What? Yes, this is what I said when I introduced the Jaws in the first place. Called the Jaws because the shifting flows destroy ships that pass through.

And there's giant frozen chunks of ice in it. Right, and it looks like jagged teeth. Exactly. Is it a frozen ocean? Partially. Much like the Arctic. Some of it's frozen, some of it's not. It's unpredictable, but I care not for the sea. Okay. Not even a little bit? My war is in the skies, Bing. In the skies. Cloudpiercer, our friends are back in the town. But I think we're going to have to leave after that. I mean, we were trying to be secretive and that was the opposite.

Will you take us up north and can one of your friends get our friends? Yes, this can be done. You have done us a great service this day. Thronebreaker does not often lose, but today, his humiliation will be felt. Also, what's the deal with the Beezor? Can he not cast lightning or whatever now because he doesn't have Beezor anymore? Yeah, does it grow back? Yeah. It does, yes. But it will take some time. And in that time, his power will be diminished. And will he hide in that time? He will.

He must. So we've bought you some time at least. You have. Peace is here. No. But for now, yes. That's what I meant. Okay. You've got a little… Chunk of peace. Yeah, a little bit. A moment of respite. Yes. To clean up our mess. Exactly. And so, you are welcome to rest here. May we join your flock. You may. But the storm and the sea carry much around the world. And there's something I believe that you have lost that I have found. And he walks into a cave in the side of the cliff.

And he rustles around in whatever's in there. So cute. And he comes back and clutched in his beak is a simple leather fanny pack. Fuck. What? I thought it was Allison's scarf. Never mind. That's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacome Tome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz. Playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Loppers. Bye. Playing Fat Billy the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. It's okay. We'll get her scarf back. I don't care.

I don't want it back. I know you do. Yes, you do. Clap your soul. Find it again. Thank you to Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music. So incredible every time. You can find all the music performed on the show at SoundCloud. You can find Aaron's album, Healthy, at aaronreid.bandcamp.com. And if you want us to support the show on Patreon and get access to a bunch of bonus content and all that kind of cool shit, join us at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please.

And you know what? Thank you to you for listening. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resume Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

If you like Spout Lore and you want spelt more of it, go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore for exclusive bonus content, bonus games, exclusive merchandise, and more. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and raddest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. Oh. For the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello there. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hi, everyone.

When last we left our heroes, they arrived at the trek stop deep in the ice road route of the frozen north. After finding, thanks to the help of Pantera, the blood-debt-owing snow leopard, a wanted poster featuring our dear friend Ving. Looks nothing like me. A very offensive rendition that makes him look like an absolute beast, but still noticeably Ving. Determined, nonetheless, to take refuge at this trek stop, they disguised Ving.

Ving, as a nice road trekker, shaving his head and using the hair to give him a handlebar mustache, I think. Handlebar mustache and a mullet. And a mullet. Under a hat. Was there chops coming out of nowhere? I mean, we could just say that now. There's chops coming out of nowhere. Yeah. Like, not connected to the mullet? Yeah. It's shaved between the top of the mullet and the chops. Yeah. And then the chops, and then a mustache. Awful. Not one unified hairstyle on the entire head.

They went to the diner. In the trek stop, featuring all-day breakfast, and took a spot in a booth to plan their next move, meeting aggressive, yet not realizing it's off-putting diner waitress Becky. She was just reading the game. Like, she just got a copy of the game. Yeah. And she saw Tuck and was like, I'm going to neg the shit out of this guy. He's going to find me irresistible. Yeah. My feelings were for sure hurt by everything she said. Those feelings are hurt. Cops came into the diner.

Designer took notice of the party sitting at their booth tuck accidentally drew the attention of one of them I think we're so excited about all day breakfast we forgot we went there to make a plan yeah that might have been it yeah uh we later on learned that billy and or jessica misunderstood all day breakfast to mean all you can eat breakfast absolutely I misunderstood personally very reasonable ordering basically 15 times the amount of food of anyone else at the table tuck drew the attention of one of the cops who came over and asked what was going on what your business was and then uh they both left tuck talked to a woman at the bar trying to get an idea of your your plan I remember now was in an attempt to learn more about adernack all water was to just ask any one person you saw you looked like they might be intelligent so she was reading so we're like this person definitely knows about wizards she knows about our quest specifically bothered a bunch of nerds that day yeah tuck approached her and scared her off accidentally losing the weather book that he brought with him to seem smart as well billy snuck out after her yes and saw that she was informing the cops preparing to enter the diner and apprehend you all billy returned to the table and and!

Gulnau this huge guy you can really help this out uh and at that moment the cops stormed the place ving threw a jar full of gunpowder into a fireplace creating a smoke bomb of magnificent proportions uh you escaped out the back oleg throwing you into the back of a moving ice trek that was on its way out the door and you all escaped ving calling the storm around you to pick up speed and also obscure your trail receiving thanks to his connection to the spiritual realm and the elements of vision of a great battle taking place in the skies high high above cloud piercer the thunderbird nearby and in pain oh and that is where we find our heroes now does ving do anything immediately about the vision he yells out cloud piercer what I stick my head out the window the clouds have kind of come in so you can't really see much yeah it's windy you do we hear thunder yes you hear thunder the wind in what direction the sky which way are we heading I do mean it in that it is above like it seems like it's rolling out from everywhere whoa yeah oh my god is there like weather above us that looks like stormy at all ving kind of called up a storm to obscure you so you are it's it was pretty snowy and blustery already and now it's even more so and the truck is rumbling as you're pulling out onto the ice road you're like oh my god I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared dogs as far as the eye can see back here uh the the dog team has been pulled in because it was already pretty windy and they're just like oh hello friend I am ving hi I'm your friend and he holds out his little paw what a good boy welcome to the truck my name's balto I guess I'm kind of the leader around here that's great anything we can do for you do you guys need anything from us you can just put it in the chat box and I'll take care of it for you guys take care of it for you guys pet scratch my head you get it bolt though oh yeah this is great hey guys we got some friends back here and you're like oh my god hi what's going on just a pile of dogs now they're all over me licking my face and stuff this is great perel's kind of like standing up he's got his hand out and he's like lifting up one leg as a dog gets closer to him hi hello perel do you not like dogs no I like them fine they're just this these ones are big that's you just stay down there buddy stay down there and then tucks on the ground and he's like underneath one that's huge and he's scratching it on either side he's like just scratch them like this and they'll be fine no that's fine it's okay you can just stay back a little bit uh and uh maggie is sitting on the ground and she's got one laying across her lap ving and balto are laughing their butts off oh no I rolled in it and it turned out it was my own that's what happens out here on the ice road oh my god yeah you're a good boy what's the driver's name oh uh uh he's never told me his name gotcha no clue dog only knows its own name yeah yeah exactly dog knows balto other dogs yeah and then food person food guy yeah he thinks the guy's name is come here boy wait do can you ask him where we're going yeah where are we going where's this truck headed oh we're going to um uh the big the big place that place with all the you know what they're called there's all the people the city yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's gonna be a while but that's where we're going eventually is there is there buildings made of ice I was thinking about this earlier yeah we don't know anything about the frozen north we're going to sheer city so we're going to sheer city or old sheer probably sheer city if it's a city but we don't know anything about the culture we don't know what the government's like yeah is the frozen north like attached to the principalities is it separate from the principal I assume it's separate me too but I don't know is it city states is there a full is there nationhood up here there seems to be nationhood doesn't there yeah so sheer city sounds like it's probably if not the capital a big city it's a big city on the coast yeah can we do a thing where we come up with a name for the city come up with a name for the city come up with a name for the each say a thing that our characters have heard about sheer city I would love that starting with what we know about it so far that's what I want to know is that old sheer was the first city or settlement when people came over from hibernia I think and some of them settled there and it was like one of the first communities on this continent theoretically yeah that makes sense it was probably maybe not on the continent but definitely in the north yeah it was one of the bigger because we don't know anything about really about the indigenous people of the continent right you know what I mean so like how long have people been here are these the people that were here like originally like well what do we know of the winter war like what were the people that were there because it was the people from the elves and fairies that's who took part in the winter war were the elves the dark elves and the fairies and it feels like a lot of people got pulled into it I think so too I was thinking of like how the north like sheer city had a lot of people who were here and they were like oh my god I don't know what's going on here and they were like oh my god I don't know what's going on here a lot of military ground because of its advantage from the shore and they're also trying to secure passages to other parts of the country so it is like in a northwest passage sort of thing yeah how a lot of the arctic our arctic has been settled by military and that's a lot of the infrastructure there is based on some sort of militant occupation or so maybe it's a hangovers from the winter war or other wars like that there's a bit of a colonial a military uh establishment there's a bit of a colonial a military establishment there's a bit of a colonial here okay yeah we we did establish that old sheer was like kind of just like end of the rotors and then the government re-established the city further south in a place that is the navy could like in a bay kind of that the navy could like live in and then it kind of became a military town sort of like victoria and is that that's sheer city that's sheer city that makes a lot of sense actually old sheer is the some of the original ones yeah yeah yeah it should make sense like the way you described it originally like there's a lot of people who are like oh my god like there's a lot of people who are like oh my god little houses and stuff yeah yeah I think a lot old sheer we said was a lot of people who refused to move to sheer city yeah like they're anti-establishment so it ended up anti-war probably oh yeah yeah okay so this is this see this is giving me a picture of what the north is like it sounds like it's a very militant place yeah like it's a it's a country that is like we have a powerful navy and we control the upper part of the world but I like the thought that this military culture doesn't get through the forest you know I mean like it doesn't really affect the elves at all the elves are more powerful than that so the the great forest and the boreal reach is its own kingdom and territory oh yeah definitely and then frozen north is separate from it yeah that's kind of cool like sheer city is made the hub of like the military yeah then there's like all that frozen area that's sort of like no man's land yeah a bit yeah is it kind of like a alaska then yeah okay that makes sense so it's like maybe it is an outpost of the principalities but maybe they seceded yeah so like it was originally a territory of the principalities and then they declared independence so there was wars yeah and that's why they have such a strong military what makes their military navy especially so potent uh their ability to travel and and like navigate the ice fields and yeah and everything cool I like it uh ships that are like they can like camouflage with the ice sort of thing they hide out they can go further north than anyone because they have like icebreaker ships I was just thinking icebreakers they probably have some sort of thing in the front very cool and they can maybe sometimes go up like if it's a huge glacier field they can like they get up on skis or like yeah they're slightly amphibious because you can put them up cool pull them across they grew out of the winter war a little bit that would make sense yeah like some of their their weapons were yeah used like the you know uh you know military breeds yeah necessity sort of thing I was thinking that about the shipbreakers that it was like an engine on the front of it that was powered by magic and there was a maybe there was a ton of advancement yeah there was a ton of advancement and then that like that really makes sense about we're talking about how magic is used whereas the spirit energy energy is about taking part in the process of the ship and then it's like yeah totally so in the absence of magic they were probably forced to industrialize basically like find ways to replace that energy yeah oh like you mean after the wizards left yeah because it is part of their like military industry was powered by magical artifacts the mechanism era I'm imagining like you know like cold snowy icy cities but with like belching smokestacks and right slamming machines and that kind of stuff rocks covered in ice yeah things covered in ice like ice is mortar oh interesting and like some of the old old buildings that makes sense permafrost buildings using like water as like the heat source you know like because there's magic in it yeah yeah it's easy to you know use magic to heat the water and just use like steam power and stuff like that oh that would be so cool as like one of the discoveries that they made during the war where they were like like a wizard is just like there's magic in all the water yeah and if you like attach these like contacts to it and run a specific current or something like that it's like a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a kind above they can't be above ground so it's secret no you can't because like I mean the whole principalities like fuck no magic and then probably old sheer or not old sheer but sheer city is probably you know they probably just don't want to like tick them off like they have military I like that some arcanic magic was like amazing old wizard type people live in old sheer that's part of it too probably maybe that's why they seceded because the exodus was happening and then people the exodus happened and people cracked down right on on magic and then they were just like we still have a bunch of magic users here we need to secede and kind of erase because it's like they're so isolated so people don't really know what's happening out there yeah they don't even question they don't ask yeah go up there because they're also scary they're militarized they're like america basically uh okay so we have a better idea of what the north is about weird isolationist magical mechanics yeah secretive kind of advanced machinery electric lights probably yeah either way you're in the back of a truck with a bunch of dogs with a bunch of dogs how can we find out who the driver is can we see this person uh I mean billy could always try and crawl through to the front if you want to so at the back there's like um that's where all the cargo is yeah and then that goes up to like a hatch basically that the driver can pop open to like see how his dogs are doing I just want to see get a glimpse of this driver yeah so I'm gonna roll I guess to certain realities yeah does it go dogs cabin cab I mean it kind of goes like dogs cargo and then cabin and then driver oh so you have to climb back there yeah yeah you're gonna have to actually climb like through the back of the truck like the cargo into the cabin to see this guy is it am I risking falling into the ice just roll it jump in yeah nine nine so you get one question off the list I would like to know what here is useful or valuable to me yeah you pop open the little hatch in the cargo area and then you hop over to the little sill of the hatch in the back of the cabin open that up and uh there's music playing on a music bottle oh nice what kind of music is it sounds like the fantasy version of like credence clearwater revival like it's like I feel better moon rising so pete seger solo yeah it's just like dad music yeah this is how you remind me of what I really am all right no it changed my mind it's it's newer dad music vindicated I'm selfish we're going even younger oh no I'm this is just how many songs I've been like vibing out for yeah somebody I used to know yeah so he's listening to sirius xm 18 countdown.

Billy's been sitting back there for like 30 minutes spying and he's just like, he's got a great taste in music. So tell me about this driver. Are we thinking like older, drinking whiskey out of a flask, gruff dude? Are we talking young, slamming monster energy drinks, trying to pay for school? Writing a novel. Series of novels. I really like older, but we haven't had like a young sort of driver. They've all been kind of gruff dads.

So I kind of want to go for the younger dude who's like in his like early 20s, slamming energy drinks. Probably recently broke up with someone, which is why he's listening to like basically Nickelback and stuff like that. Or he's about to break up with someone. Who knows? He's trying to break up with the person. He's trying to run through all the scenarios. You can't take this anymore, man. You can't just keep walking all over you. You gotta get in there and you gotta say, no more.

Also, I'm on the ice road like six weeks out of the two months. Why did I do it like that? It's so hard. Because when I get home, I need to break up with her, but I'm so horny. So we have sex and then I like her again. And then I'm gone. I don't have time to hate her. No, actually, you know what? Like they have a weird up and down relationship and his six weeks on the road is him working through all of their arguments together until he and like working on himself.

And then he gets home and he's like, I love you. I love you better. That's great. He has a crate full of like therapy bottles for like self-help bottles. Yeah. He also eats like tons of chips from the restaurant Oleg works at. He also goes like he and Oleg are friends and he asks Oleg for a ton of relationship advice and Oleg. He actually got certified as a counselor in prison. Yeah, he's like actually really nice to talk. That's great because he's had a string of terrible relationships.

So he's like, yeah, maybe I can help other if I cannot help Oleg. It's not toxic masculinity to do therapy. And yeah, so he's there's this kid. He's sitting up there early 20s. What does he look like? He's so buff. Okay. All right. Lay out how attractive you think this guy is. I know. I'm sorry. No, this is my fault. Okay. He has to lift all the cargo. He can't afford to like hire another guy just to sit back there. So he's got to unload and load up all the cargo himself.

And sometimes he's got it. Like if there's big chunks of ice on the road, he's got like, like push that off and cut up a bunch of stuff with an axe. I don't know. Yeah, totally. Seems sticking to pick. He looks like a character from Frozen. Kristoff. Oh, yeah. The elk guy. Yeah. He's pretty like thick guy. He's a thick boy. Yeah. He's a human. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. So he's just sitting there. He's slamming chips. Yeah. Crush and energy drink, which I mean, Billy would notice this.

He's drinking out of carbonated cans like he's popping a tab on a carbonated can. Whoa. Arcanic. Yeah. And drinking it. And he's just like fucking rocking out to his music bottle thinking about the fantasy novels that he's working on, which are set in our world. All right. Six friends live in New York City. So. Okay. And so Daniel is good. He's got his boss asked if he could talk to him and Daniel's like, oh, no, now it's going to happen. I'm going to get fired for sure. His friend got it.

He's like, man, you got to stop making up these ridiculous sounding names. New York City. Are you kidding me? Daniel. What the fuck even is a graphic designer? Dude, you can't just make shit up. Unbelievable. So is Billy just going to report back or is he going to try and talk to this guy? I think I'd like to wait. What would what should I do? Second one for sure. Okay. I'll try to talk to him. I think you're going to try and take some of his chips. It's not a bad idea.

I think this is why Billy's been up there for so long because he doesn't know how to introduce all of us. Should we all come up here? He's like, no, that might scare him. He's taking so much responsibility because we were just like, go check out what's going on. And then but we didn't tell you to come back. Right. And I'm stressing out. I'm like, but if it's just me and I disappear, there's going to be no one left to tell them what I saw.

I mean, I feel like once Billy saw this guy who'd be like, okay, I'm not in danger at all. He doesn't know. True, but probably he's looking all around the cab for his like hidden weapons. Maybe he's a murderer. He sees the ice pick and stuff like that and the axes. In his rear view mirror it's like, be a better person. Affirmations written everywhere. There's a lot of like conflicting information. Yeah, but the most important thing is that bag of Doritos. Oh, absolutely.

He's got so many bags of Doritos. Cold ranch. I love the idea of the conflicting information. Billy looking around the cab, cut to a pick axe with a wicked blade. Cut to be a better person on the mirror. Cut to angry music. Cut to self-help bottles. Yeah. Cut to the axe and then bloody meat. I don't know. It's for later. It's for the dogs. Yeah, he's cutting up like raw meat for the dogs in the back. Yeah, and he's like, oh. Cut to the chips. Yeah.

So Billy's like, I'm going to go for the food first because at worst if I get kicked out, at least I ate something. Uh-huh. At least I have two chips worth of calories. Yeah. Okay, so I'd like to secretly get to the open bag of chips. Yeah, 2D6 plus dexterity. And it's a crinkly fucking bag. It's so crinkly. Oh my god. 8. Okay. It is a crinkly bag. Billy's seen a crinkly bag before, so he knows that if he goes for these chips, the guy's going to become aware of you right away.

You can either avoid his attention by not stealing a chip, but if you steal a chip, he is going to become aware of you. Fuck. Okay. I mean, do you have a fairy child? You could always charm him for a while. I don't want to charm him. I want to be my authentic self. Uh-huh. You were about to charm him, then you saw an aphorism written on an air freshener that said be your authentic self. Yeah. Billy's been sitting here for long enough that he transitioned to the bottles, and he's like listening.

All this therapy now, like, yeah, I should just be the real me. So I've already crawled into, like, the driver part of the cabin. So you're sitting next to him, and he doesn't know. Yeah, he hasn't seen me yet. I'm looking at the chips. I'm like, he's going to hear me. So I just ask, excuse me. Whoa! I'm sorry! Scurvy! He immediately starts cut to the back, and we're bouncing. Dogs everywhere. Bouncing. Oh my god. And you guys get slammed around. The car goes secure so it doesn't move.

There's definitely food up there, I say to Doug. He's saying this to me as I'm being dragged out the back because I fell and grabbed a net. Yeah. Oh, nice. Maggie has her arms and legs braced and her core absolutely solid flexed, not moving. I didn't grab a net. I grabbed her cloak. I have a huge armful. I have five, six giant dogs. You're saying, I'm keeping them in the middle because they're bouncing around. And Perel is slamming around like a foosball. You're on your own. Oh my god.

And eventually the truck comes to a screeching. Well, I mean, it's a ski, but it comes to a skiing halt. And the guy starts opening the door and crawling out. He's like, what the fuck? Who are you? No way! Oh my god, how'd you get in here? Oleg, let us up. Oleg, how do I know that you did not take the life of my dear Oleg? Look at this bottle of cinnamon that Oleg gave to me. By his own decision making. Fear not, young boy.

I know that if you bear the cinnamon and then he reaches into his shirt and pulls out another vial of cinnamon. This is great. It means that I can trust you because Oleg trusts you with his cinnamon. And then they touch and it makes a heart. It makes like a ringing crystal. Wow. So we are brothers for life. We are cinnamon bros. Also, I like that Billy's like, I thought I had the only cinnamon. Yeah, he's a little like… So we're cinnamon bros then. Yeah.

Oleg said you could give us a ride up to the north. To Shrew City? Yep. Alright, that's fine. Okay, so just to be clear, it's not just me. I have a few friends in the back. No, we're keeping the dogs entertained. Okay. It's my friend, Ving and Tuck and Perel and Maggie. For any more people back there I should be aware of? Are there any more people? No, that's it. There are only four to five of us.

I gotta say, I'm not super jacked about this because you might not know, Ice Road's a dangerous place. I gotta be really careful with my poundage. For sure. Alright, fine. But if we cross a bridge, you all gotta get out. Aww. No, but then you can get back in on the other side of the bridge. The bridge, probably. Okay. It is a treacherous road, my bro. I've heard. And it is two days, probably, to Shrew City on a good day.

And as you can tell, we don't have a soundscape in this podcast, but it's windy as fuck right now. For sure. Oh, yeah. It's really blustery out there. Yeah, so he hops back in, he closes the door, blocks out the wind. I'm Trevor. My bros call me Trev. Nice to meet you, Trevor. No, no, no, no. And he holds up the cinnamon. You call me Trev. Trev. Nice. My name's Fat Billy, but my bros call me Billy. Nice. I will call you Billy, then. Yeah.

You're welcome to sit up here with me if you want, or go back there. Do you need anything from me? Yeah, could I have a handful of chips? Yeah, sure. Sure, bro. Thank you. You want a, what do they call monster energy drinks? A cold pop. You want a cold pop? Yeah, I want a cold pop. Ice cold pop. And he reaches down through the floor. To a rack of drinks that's hanging out in the open ice. So cold. And he pulls one out, and it's a tall boy can, so it's almost as tall as Billy.

So I have to hold it with both hands, so I put the chips in my pouch. Of course. I say, I'm gonna go back to my friends for now and let them know what I've learned. And then you hear Yes, hello. Hello. Hi, what's up? Hey, we just wanted to make sure Billy was okay. You okay, Billy? He's talking to you through the hatch in the back. I've climbed up on the can. I'm trying to open it. Climbed up on the can? Nice. Trying to rip it open with both hands.

Ving's got his head at the passenger side window. He said he went outside and went around. Get in! And he opens the door, and it's like, Get in here! Have you ever been in the north before? Have I ever been in the north? Look it, I'm wearing no shirt. I took my shirt off to show you how much I'm in the north. That makes me think you haven't been in the north before. And Tuck is like, I also don't have a shirt on.

And he's talking through the little hatch in the back of the thing, and then he just His beard's sticking up under his shirt. And then he moves his body, and then presses a nipple against it. No shirt. Oh my god. Just this kimono and my loin guard. And then he pulls up and presses it. Oh, man, come on. Get that thing out of my window. It's a loin guard. Okay. Yeah, the little… Billy, explain the situation to me. Where are you headed? Sheer City. Perfect. Everything's good. Get in the truck.

Close the fucking door. I'm in. What's all these tapes for? Why'd you come up here? I mean, what's going on here? They're self-help tapes. I'm working on myself. We were concerned about our kid. That's why we came here. You're in the back, and I just saw your dick and balls. Hey, no. It's a loin guard. I didn't show you underneath. Well, I saw a lot of the outline, okay? I'm working on myself, okay? Okay. Me and my girl, we got a pretty up and down kind of thing.

And, you know, I'm not going to say that she's blameless in this, but I need to work on myself, and these tapes are really helping me. I call them tapes because I had to tape the tops of the bottles shut. So they don't leak out so I can listen to them more often. Well, if you ever want to talk, you let me know. Yeah, Ving is a registered counselor. I don't know you at all. I just learned… That's perfect. I'm impartial. That's all you want, man. Oh, fuck. You're right. Okay.

We'll be in the back. Thanks. Thanks for driving. Driver. Driver? Thanks, driver. Trevor. Trevor. My last name is Driver. Trevor Driver. But it's, you know, my whole family… My dad was a driver, my mom was a driver, and my brother's sister's drivers. Your last name is Driver. Yeah. Ah. I knew a halfling back in the Great Forest who was a traveler. Uh-huh. He was a driver. Uh-huh. His name was Mini Driver. There it is. Wow. What a circuitous route.

I could tell by the way you were playing fast and like, I knew a halfling in the Great Forest. I was like, well, I know he knows they don't live there. He's setting something up. Damn it. You related to Mini Driver? Yeah, that's my uncle through marriage. Do you know a guy named Adam? Don't you? I don't fucking say that name. Don't you fucking… Adam tried to steal my fucking girl from me. Whoa, Adam. Hands off. Yeah, right. That's what I'm trying to say.

We have an exclusive thing going on and Adam was like, I'm tall and I have an oddly wide torso. And I've been in some pretty good movies and some pretty bad ones. Adam sounds like a cousin I had. Yeah. Well, not my cousin, but just a cousin. What? What? What? Adam sounds like a cousin I had one time, but not my cousin. Just a cousin. This is Billy trying to relate. He's like, yeah, I have family. Yeah, what about Adam?

Oh, he was going after another dude's girl and they had a big fight in the pig pen. Uh-huh. Adam lost. Oh, no. We don't talk about it. You don't want to lose a fight in a pig pen. You don't want to lose a fight in a pig pen. You lost more than his pride that day. Oh, yeah. Lost his face and head and dick and balls. Face and head and dick and balls. Billy just heard. In that order. Yeah. Face first, then head, then dick, then balls. And then you hear.

And you look over and Tuck has like one of the bags of chips and he's eating it in the. Hey, did you get that out of the crate? No, I got it from in here. Oh, you got a long arm. Yeah, dude. I'm pretty big. You haven't seen the whole of me yet. It's going to be impressive. It will be surprising. And just to give you a heads up, I am in a bulk face. So I love the idea that Tuck has to caution somebody who hasn't seen his full scale. I'm really big. So don't freak out when you see me.

You can't freak out. Okay. You've just seen my face. I am monstrously huge. Okay. So I'm going to drive now. Is that okay? With everybody? That's great. That's cool. We're going to hang out here. We like you. Oh my God. All right, fine. But nobody talked during my tapes. Okay. Okay. Okay. And he reaches over and he peels back the tape on one of them and he pops it. It's like, welcome back to loving the you. You love to you. You can't really edit what goes into a bottle.

Sean's never listened to a self-help tape. It's all one take. You have to like, put your hand over the bottle. Oh man. That's why good songs are so well traded because they're like, that was an amazing take. They didn't fuck it up at all. Everything was in key. And he, yeah, he starts heading down the road. I'd say this, this is an opportunity to learn things either about the state of the North or the world really, because he's a tracker.

He's probably heard some stuff about what's going on all over the place or to learn things about the environment, which is my way of saying, if you want to Spout Lore or discern, realities now is the time. Hey, what have you learned about what, why, what are these posters for? Have you heard anything about this? Like this? I have one of my wanted posters, but he's still in disguise. You know what?

Now that I'm looking at this poster, the general shape of your face is very similar to the shape of this guy's face. Me. What do you mean? This is me. What do you mean? I don't know. I'm wanted. What do you mean? Where have you seen these roll a two D six plus charisma? Oh God. Billy. Billy. Stop mid pop. Like yeah. And tucks up mid crunch. 10. Holy shit. Good job. He reaches into his shirt and pulls out a little vial of cinnamon on a chain.

He goes, you're lucky you have shared this information with me. A cinnamon bro. Destroy that poster. If you know, it's good for you. He eats it slow. So slowly bites little bites. I just did a poster 20 minutes ago. Billy lifts up his pot to you. Oh, thank you so much. Billy. You drink it and it tastes like it tastes like a poultice smells. It's like medicinal in its strength. Oh my God. This is like a virgin Jaeger Meister. I love this. So it's red bull. Yeah.

So Billy pops up in the, in the little face hole now and his pupils are just, Oh God, dude, Billy, you tell me you haven't been drinking this stuff. Oh, I had half. That's a big half. I can see. All the way to the forest. Tell me Trev, what sort of things do you find across the roads? What do you want to know? What sort of dangers have you encountered? Yeah. Speller two to six plus intelligence. Seven. Okay. So he looks at the poster again as Ving is finishing eating it very slowly.

Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I have a stack of these things. Kind of eat all of them. You can destroy posters in other ways, dude. No, this is this. He's right. This is the safest way to destroy a poster. Give me one of those. Challenge. Bros. Gentlemen, bros. And then tuck doesn't want to be left out. So he reaches in and grabs one too. Yeah. Here. Any hands, a couple back to Billy. Give those to the other one. One's back there. No problem. We all have to eat them. Feed them to the dogs. Yeah.

He just drops them behind him and he's, his eyes are straight. A little, a little, a little too. Askew. Yeah. The East and West meet. So what he knows is, um, things are getting pretty, pretty rough out there. It's a shame, but from what I've heard, war is coming to the principalities. What? Yeah. Things are getting pretty bad. I'm sure, you know, like the weather's been all over the place. There's been strange occurrences kind of across the lands. Whoa.

No, we didn't, we didn't know anything about that. Even this, this storm, any points up. This is a, I mean, you know, it's the north, but this is unseasonable in terms of its power. And I've been hearing that there's been a destruction in the smaller communities of the north storm sweeping through great shadows in the skies and whatever's been going on in the principalities. One of the Princeps, has taken this opportunity to make a move on a neighboring territory. Oh fuck. Oh no. Yeah.

So things are getting pretty dicey up here too. So, uh, the northern forces have really locked down on people and, you know, a lot more checkpoints than usual. And, uh, these, and he shoves another poster in his mouth. I wouldn't be surprised if this was related to it somewhat. Oh God, what stock is that? They're laminated. Oh, I can tell. Oh, dude, not going down easy, bro. We're going to have terrible shits later. We're not going to have any shits later.

So, you know, it's a good thing you're in disguise, but you know, I'd keep your head down. Do you know anything? Why? Who's, who's putting these posters? No, no, no. I mean, nothing. Why? Why is it unusual? Like I assume you did something. Um, you can tell me I'm not a cop. I'm wait a second. I'm not, I'm going to say I trust you, but I'm just going to keep this one a little close to the chest. For now, if you don't mind. Yeah, no worries.

Let's say I need to work on myself a bit before I talk to you about this. He nods sagely. I wonder if there's, uh, there's also, because like they're gearing up for war in the principalities, like production of like military equipment and old sheer has like kicked up. Oh yeah, probably. I think so. They're getting a lot of orders in. Yeah. So maybe that's another thing.

Uh, Trevor says he's like, yeah, I'm going to drop off a bunch of, um, food in old sheer, but I'm picking up a shipment of, uh, of, of weapons and armor, taking them back down South. Really? Yeah. War is mechanizing again. Yeah. I mean, that is the old sheer way. Whenever there is conflict, sheer city is there to make a buck, you know? So it's bloated in population right now too. There's people coming in. Yeah. A lot of workers coming up, a lot of travel on the ice roads.

That's kind of good for us. Then there'll be less likely to find us if there's a ton of people going in and out. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Can I spell her about something? Yeah, everybody can. So what is it? Plus intelligence? You know that negative one. I got a seven. Okay. So what is, what is, what does Tuck ask? Uh, has any, do you know of anyone or have you, cause you've been like on the road this whole time, right? Yeah.

You ever seen any like huge birds that cause thunder, lightning or whatever around? I mean, do you mean thunderbirds? I do mean thunderbirds. They are a thing that people know about existing. I think, you know, of thunderbirds. Yeah. Giant birds are hard to miss. But I saw, I saw, and he gets really conspiratorial. He hunches down. So one night I was driving the ice road. These things pretty much drive themselves. I'm guessing. Oh, do they?

And he crosses his arms in front of his chest and the wheel starts to turn. And then the whole 18 wheeler kind of structure of it starts listing to the side. No, it's okay, everybody. Don't worry. These things drive themselves. You keep taking your eyes off. You're, you're crouching down. You're crouching down. Telling us a story. Not watching. That's a great point. Seems to be doing. You seem to be doing a lot that I can't see. You're a great driver driver to thank you.

And he puts his hand on the wheel and immediately writes the truck. Yeah, I've been doing this for a long time, bro. Oh, it's almost four months. And that is after three months of having my license revoked. So I'm doing pretty good. Are you an owner operator? Yeah, this is my, he slaps the side of his chair. This is my baby right here. That's awesome. Yeah, man. I am a hundred percent for reliance, baby. That's sick. You know what that means? No taxes. That's what a hundred percent profit. Baby.

That's not what that means. A hundred percent profit. Anyways, any hunches down, it gets really conspiratorial. One night driving the ice roads. I was trekking halfway between the rosin yields and the white waist. The clouds grew dark. It was dark or it was nighttime. So it was already dark, but I could tell the clouds were even darker than that. All of a sudden, as if from nowhere, lightning right above me, whoa, heel of thunder and descending through the cloud cover.

Um, massive bone white Thunderbird, the biggest bird I've ever seen in my fucking life, bro thing had to be a really, really big bird. And just as I was, I swear to God, I swear to God, just as I was looking at it, it looked at me and it winked and then it went back up into the clouds and it was gone. It sounds like cloud piercer. He loved to perform. Yeah, I was really slamming energy drinks at the time though, though. So that might've been an embellishment on my brain's part.

Did you notice any stones upon its brow? Yeah, it was dark, so I couldn't see the color of his gem. All I saw was the reflections of the lightning. Really intense story. It was fucking bad ass. And tuck pops a boner boner. You hear it smack against the wall, the whole truck tips a little bit, but the, but that like he kind of has been like opening the top of a, the bottle slowly. So music is slowly creeping in.

And then when he says it was fucking bad ass, he opens it all the way and it goes, give me fuel, give me fire, give me that, which I desire. Wow. And he just starts slamming his head up and down. Hold on fuckers. Yeah. The shot shifts to outside as he shifts gears or whatever. When he shifts gears, it puts down different skis. Oh, cool. And that is how you pass the night on that first day is him telling you, telling you about war, telling you about the giant Thunderbird.

He saw we tell him stories too. Yeah. What do you got? It was one time. Tuck got beat up by a woman in a cave. Uh huh. Yeah. This lady beat him up. Got him real good. Yeah. And then I think you, you got some good shots in there, pal. What, what is the situation? Are you talking about? I was a whale. You drank way too many. Everybody's just slammed on these. Billy's now all pupil. His eyes are completely, completely black. He's not even like there. He's astrally projecting.

He's in like fairy realm. He drank so many energy drinks. He crossed over. Yeah. He's shadow dancing right now. And, uh, Tuck tells him a story about the battle of land Springs. Cool. Yeah. I tell him about that. Cool. But I don't say it's us. I say, I heard about these three guys that, that like did, I guess I'm trying to like expand ever since Pharaoh was like, people are telling the tales of you guys. I've, I've been like, kind of like putting it in there. Classic bird. Yeah.

And then I get to the part and it's like, and then as they put the Saffron rope around him, he burst into flame and it turns out he was the demon of zealotry the whole time. What the fuck? I know. Right. We couldn't believe it either. I mean, they couldn't believe it either. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, tux pupils are huge.

It's What, what, that doesn't really shut the fuck and just listen to what him questioning the timeline. I think, Paul, you haven't, Irving hasn't rolled discern realities or Spout Lore. If you got the urge. Yeah, I wanted to know about the army that his dad has been gathering. What have you heard of the building of the army? Has Nathaniel been building an army? Yeah, he's getting garrisons and soldiers from all over the north. He's making it disparate. Is he? Where did this come from?

I don't know. I made a note. Okay. Yeah, go ahead and roll. I'm not 100% sure. 11. 11. Holy shit. Maybe it's not a full army yet. Yeah. No, he's building his followers. He's gathering his followers. Yeah, totally. Yeah, I mean, as far as I know, I haven't seen much. I haven't dealt with rangers much. Most people don't. Those guys kind of stick to their forest, but I do know that a lot of Trekers… Okay, there have been a couple that have gone missing. I'm going to be straight up with you.

Truckers have been going missing? Yeah, like whole treks just gone. It's part of the reason the road's so dangerous these days. Like they find their wreckage or gone without a trace? They leave one stop and they never arrive at the next one. Hmm. And I don't know what's the deal there, but something's happening. There's something going on in the woods. I don't know. They're getting pissy. So people who have to travel near the woods are going missing. That seems to be the situation.

Well, I hope you stay safe. Hey, thanks, man. Appreciate it. And then he pops a bottle and it's I Will Always Love You by Dolly Parton. How does that go? It was one of the shitty takes. The I part goes on for way too long. But okay, so interesting and useful. So maybe he tells you like exactly where there's been a certain site where a bunch of them have been going missing. People have ice trackers have the union of ice trackers has said they're no longer taking that route.

Oh, yeah, there's a route that's like closed. Yeah, I like that. And it is near a region of the forest that Ving is familiar with called my brain said bone city bone city. It is. I mean it's like like all dead trees but former it's a burned out forest that the whole thing just looks like skeletons. Oh, I like it bone city. It's actually called bone city. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Bone city is not the word that I know for it. I just know it is. No, I call it bone city.

I'm the kind of guy that would love calling a thing. Yes, it's part of the forest. I call it bone city because it looks like a bunch of bones and yeah, they close out whole route down dunzo. Don't know why but if I had to guess as an amateur author myself an imagineer maybe there's like something out there. They're like looking for and they don't want people fucking around in there. How far is bone city from the old sheer or from sheer city from sheer city three days. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Thank you. Two and a half days. Now three depends on how many drinks I had more drinks means faster because I get more reckless and if I'm listening to free bird it's two days because I'm free. That's free falling free bird. Yeah. So that's pretty much, you know, the situation that I know about that. Those guys scare me. Do you know anybody who's gone missing personally? Not personally, but like a friend of a friend's brother's friend did go missing. Oh no. Yeah.

It's pretty shit, but he's he's like a union guy. So his family got taken care of. Oh, there's a union. Yeah. Truckers Union. Oh, cool. Good for you. Now, fuck them. What the fuck dude? He's freelance. I'm freelance, baby. I'm not paying fucking dues. So you're do you think the union dues are the taxes? Yeah, man, they're not taking my taxes. Okay. You don't know what taxes are that nobody knows what taxes are, man. It's just the thing that the government like does to you, bro.

Government the truckers union or you're not listening. This guy is working. He's operating so illegal. He's not even aware. He's outside the line. How broke how criminal he is. I'm freelance baby all the way the union. They kick me out and that's on them and they don't get my taxes anymore. I get my taxes and I pay them to the good old country of us and me us and you know me just me. Maybe he's also like the union can't tell me where to go. So he's going to be taking a delivery there.

Oh, I'm going back through Bone City because they can't stop because he can make mega bucks do. Yeah, take a short contract jam through Bone City. Then you can take like six months off be with your lady. Oh, that's the dream bro. Really work things out. Yeah work things out or break up with her. Finally. Well, we'll see depends on how much I get through these tapes. Did your lady have like a sister or something? I don't know man. I literally don't know. It's never come up once.

You need to ask more questions, my man. Yeah, I probably do. That's what tape three is about asking more questions and I'd say like on the morning of that second day is everybody's kind of chilling in the cab or do you go in the back or what Billy's in the back with Maggie and Pearl now that he's like back to normal and he's telling them like I need to stay away from those pops. That was something else. I went very far away. What? Yeah, you definitely shouldn't have those drinks anymore.

Billy, I'm going to keep an eye on you and you guys are hanging out with Trevor. You in the back we go to the back. Okay, perfect. Big is crashing hard. Okay, great. Those drinks. So Tuck is trying to stay awake though. Oh, yeah, because he doesn't want to dream. Right? Yeah, that makes sense. So Tuck's a little off right now. Yeah, just in general because on the morning of the second day, I think we'll talk you would notice because you're trying to stay awake.

You feel the truck start to rumble as it slows down. Oh, and he climbs out the back and around to like look at what's going on. You so you get out of the truck. No, just like I don't get out. I hang out the back. Yeah, you hang out the back and you immediately see a group of people in those cop uniform. Okay. And officers I duck back here. Give me a defy danger dexterity. Okay, there was a people people. Oh, that's right. Okay, I got two ones in my decks is zero to two.

So can I do anything about it? I mean, you can maybe do something about what happens. Open the thing. There they are. Yeah, you hear Trev like leaning out his window talking to one of these guards. Did they see him? Pawtuck for sure. Yeah, these two snake guys mean they're snake guys. These snake guys so you hear I mean I thought maybe this would be a tense little substribution thing. Sorry, you know, this is perfect. You do hear them go.

Hey, and then a couple like three guards start running over to you. Um, I would like to use create convincing illusion. I have two fairy childs left. I create a convincing illusion that the back of this is empty fully empty not fully empty, but like just the dogs like a bag of beans that looks like a man so that they'll be like, oh, is that bag of beans? That's a great idea thing. Bag of beans ducked out of there and shut the door.

Beans are flopping around all over the place in the back of my lorry. Get in tight everyone. Okay, make us into look like a big old bag of beans. Everybody lies down on tuck like and then he hugs all of them. Uh-huh. And the guards come around and they like skid to a halt and look in the back and they look very confusing. They go. I could have I could have sworn this was there is a person back here, but he looked at me yet dude.

That's a bag of beans and Trevor comes around the other side and he says yeah, so like I was telling you guys, I'm just going up to sheer city Holland and he comes around and sees the back a big bag of beans. And other things. So I guess that's it. Oh yeah, I get all right fine and they go back around to the front of the truck to continue their conversation about getting through. They ask him for his union card. Oh, they ask him for his union card.

I don't have one because the union is a bunch of jackbooted thugs that are trying to take my taxes away from me to pay for their duties. It's not happening and it's about 20 minutes of him ranting about the union and then he comes around back and looks very confusedly at the bag of beans and then closes the back of his truck and all the dogs get out because the winds died down and he hooks the dogs up and then the truck jolts forward as it starts to move. Oh fuck. Good move Billy. Thanks.

Don't fucking hang your head out in the back again. Language. Sorry Billy. Sorry. We're all a little scared right now. But can we all just please stop fucking yelling? I have such a headache. Sorry thing. We gotta stop drinking these energy drinks guys. It's tearing us apart. We water should have brought more water. Yeah, we're also cranky. Yeah, we gotta stop drinking these energy drinks. This is the last one. This is the last one. I swear to God.

Can we go up to the front tuck can't because he'd have to cram himself through without being spotted. Uh, but Trevor's like, oh man, that was what the fuck where that big bag of beans come from. Yeah. I wonder where now you can tell me I'm a cinnamon. Right cinnamon bro. You're right. You got our back. I got some moves. You know, I I can do some things like like if I'm really scared I can like hide or I can make light sometimes if it's dark I make a little like wicker the wisp. Yeah.

Um, well yeah. Fucking word. So you're like a little organic. You're like a little organic guy. You got a little gadgets and gizmos on you. No, more like a fairy scream. He just goes up tight and he looks forward. What's going on with you? Your demeanor has changed Trevor. Um, but I'm Trevor. I'm I'm afraid why are you afraid? We're cinnamon bros. I know I'm afraid of fairies. Why are you afraid of all the stories I've heard is a lot. Oh boy. Oh my God. Fairies do that.

So to like on purpose to make people afraid we don't actually have to convince me somehow. Okay, so I'm too afraid now. I'm gonna roll 2d6 plus charisma to convince all of my tapes have taught me to express my emotions. So I'm feeling fear right now. I'm feeling in danger and I'm feeling like I'm about to pee my little pants a 10. Oh, okay.

I just do nice stuff and I'm like making like a little will of the wisps and I turned some of like the chip bag into like a bit of a bigger chip bag bigger chip bag. I picked up a handful of dust and crumbs. I made them into like one big chip, you know, just normal nice stuff normal stuff delicious chip based magic. So this is like half an hour of you doing like little tricks and stuff for Trev. I'm pretty harmless. You know, maybe once long long long ago.

I was a bit scarier, but now I'm pretty nice and I'm really only scary if you hurt me which because we're cinnamon bros. I know you won't I would never hurt a cinnamon bro. It is against the sworn vow that I've taken. Absolutely. But for a non-union guy he's really into this guild of cinnamon bros. Oleg told me not to swear a vow but I swore it anyways and now I'm a cinnamon bro for life. It's really good though Trevor to know what your emotions are and to like see them.

My emotions are that I am fearful, but I am hopeful and that I am choosing to trust my cinnamon bro for now despite the fact that he says he is a fairy which is confusing to me because it does not align with what I understand about fairies because he looks like a low guy. But isn't what all the work you've been doing and trying to change your understanding of what you believe before like this is what you've been doing, right?

It's changing your understandings of things and this is moving towards making you a bigger better person son of a bitch being your absolutely right. I am trying to change who I am about myself understand open the hands of another. Thank you so much. I'm starting to flag and he just he reaches over while not taking his eyes off the road and puts a hand on Billy's shoulder goes. Thank you for helping me overcome temporarily my prejudices against the fairies and my fear of them.

I feel like I've made a real bro today in addition to a cinnamon bro. Oh, yeah, man. We're bros for life bros for life. I'll prove to you. You got nothing to fear Trev bump and you continue on down the ice road thing. You're sitting in the cab looking out the window as you pass a cups of trees.

You're outside the great forest now, but there's still tree cover here and there and as the the sun glitters off the snow and ice hanging from the branches your reflexes for just a moment catch movement in the air and then just below the window slamming into the wood an arrow. And that's where we're gonna end it this week. Fuck. Whoa. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz so long playing being the half elf druid Paul Hoppers.

Take care playing fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica tie by everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reed of Vancouver Sunday service for our intro and outro music. You can find all the music performed on the show at SoundCloud and you can find Aaron's album at Aaron Reed dot band camp dot com. Thank you to all of our patreons supporters around the world for supporting the show. If you want to support the show and get access to bonus audio content outtakes art and a whole bunch more.

You can find us at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore dot com slash money, please. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can dumb and scared and lost baby for times of breast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly have a good time and I'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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P-a-t I'll start over sorry it sounds like a fucking Alta Vista ad gather round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute, a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name, you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight Vig is half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief his tiny size does mask the largest heart best and brightest they may not be but their friendship outweighs their smarts so gather round friends and listen close for the tale's about to start perfect five stars baby welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz playing Vig the half-elf druid Paul Oppers perfect star, five star rating baby playing fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai welcome back to Spout Lore perfect five star rating five stars every day, every night non-stop or higher five stars or higher, welcome to Spout Lore five stars or higher when you're here, you're family welcome to Spout Lore you're gonna like the way you look Spout Lore, get us working for you Spout Lore, just do it Spout Lore in it nothing runs like Spout Lore Spout Lore, just do it where's the beef?

Spout Lore vote for Hillary Rodham Clinton Spout Lore drink Coca-Cola please I would love if our podcast got acquired by the Coca-Cola bottling company that would be really hard to stop it from being evil when last we left our heroes that would be like that would be like if Leonardo da Vinci got killed 85% of the way through the Mona Lisa and then he just drew the crusades in the background or something and then he changed the Mona Lisa to be like yes, crusades one thumb pointing over his shoulder the other thumbs going up welcome to Spout Lore a Lockheed Martin production when last we left our heroes they had beached themselves on the shores of the frozen north, they quickly realized unfortunately that they were quite far from old sheer and cold quite close to the great forest a plan was made in which Oleander Dreyfuss would limp the sun runner to a place where he can do some makeshift repairs and then head to old sheer where he will wait two months for you to return and if you're not back in two months he'll assume that you're dead and he will leave I'm gonna be honest with you guys as soon as he was like I'll wait for you guys to return I had an image of that seed from Indiana Jones where he was like running over the hill and he was like start the plane start the plane and then just like a hundred rangers are running behind you start the boat arrows like into the deck as he's jumping on board he has to throw his fishing rod in the ocean uh, Corrine decided to stay behind after a conversation with Maggie Cole that we were not privy to and Maggie and Perel headed off with you three to find uh, what Ving remembers as a prominent trade route called the Ice Road that heads up through the frozen mist mountains and connects with the ice road and connects with the ice road with the frozen north Ice Road Trekkers that's right frequented by trekkers the most dangerous and hardy of all merchant caravan-eers yeah, and they ride on the the ice boats from Cruel Runnings yes the party decided for some reason to engage in a foot race uh, immediately getting themselves more lost than they were before classic but uh, taking shelter next to a large stone or what appeared to be a large stone ooh oh, mystery sound and it was actually a dark elf crypt oh, dark elf crypt classic yeah and Billy keeping watch by himself doing karate on top of a rock to scare away animals you know it worked with some wolves it fucking worked for real yeah, Billy got so sweaty up there oh yeah he really did and then he tripped and fell a little bit during his karate moves and saw that the rock seemed to be the entrance of a tomb collapsed into the dirt he dug it free a little bit and made the, I think pretty reasonable decision to dig the entrance of the tomb out a little bit instead of entering the tomb fully by himself mm-hmm Tuck and Ving woke up and did not feel the same way at all well, we woke up and our kid was gone you woke up to me screaming our kid's name yeah uh, you found Billy completely nude in the hole covered in dirt cause he got sweaty digging it out not the first time we found him naked in a grave in all honesty filthy in a hole yeah and then the party, uh, plus two oh wait Ving almost got attacked by a drift leopard oh shit, right uh, a cat who referred to Ving constantly as meat but in attempting to trick the leopard into stepping onto some thin ice Ving and the leopard plunged into the icy waters of the pool beneath the cat immediately going from predator to pleading to sad kitty sad cat wow and everybody worked together to get Ving and the cat out of the hole the cat then swore a life debt to Ving for saving his life which would be repaid shortly we would find just so we don't get into the habit I suppose of collecting more companions mm-hmm anyway, back to the tomb we go into the tomb we find the body of a dark elf scout laid out in armor and holding weapons watched over by a war golem Ving recalling a letter from Ving a lesson in which he learned the dark elves had a cultural practice of burying their scouts on the far ranges of their territory yeah as sort of symbolic watchmen and then Billy had a fucking flashback I did Billy had a terrifying flashback of dark elf war golems mm-hmm so Billy pleaded with the rest of the party to not rob the tomb as is their usual method uh-huh knowing that it would awaken the wrath of the golem we learned a couple things we looked at some beautiful elven weaponry and armor Perel wondered at the construction of the golem itself which appeared not to contain any machinery but completely artificial musculature bones, etc.

Ving saying that he heard stories that they were constructed using the body parts of dead elves the party smashed the entrance of the tomb closed packed up camp and Ving sent his life debt swearing snow leopard Pantera uh right, you named it Pantera whoops haha whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops whops in the distance and through his eyes watched as the panther slash leopard circled the place discovering what seems to be just some sort of trade post like a arrest it's a truck stop it's basically a fantasy truck stop there's a bunch of like sledges outside yeah yeah humans chatting a wall trekkers everywhere yeah ice road trekkers probably not a super populated place but like you know good numbers of people a husky stop is the husky stop for the actual husky dog yeah there's a there's a husky outside husky stop outside where you feed all your dogs we've never talked about it but there are probably like dog teams up here oh god I love that and perhaps most impressingly on a message board outside the gate a wanted poster featuring the face of ving and he looks bad really mean yeah he looks really really mean do they have a pencil thin mustache on him for some reason yeah cut to that's the thing panther brought back the wanted poster somehow and we're like you look not good in this picture you look old in this man this makes me look like a complete creep guys is this what I look like is this what I put out there no they gave you a scar along one eye oh my god the bags under your eye are like so dark and deep I'm putting snow on my underneath my eyes don't worry not in real life I'm not gonna lie to you I'm not gonna lie to you in real life yeah your your bags aren't that pronounced in real life ving don't worry do I look this angry all the time no your eyebrows go the opposite way they they gave you some missing teeth oh no this was somebody else the ink is a different color somebody blacked out your teeth I have a little tiny mustache just in the middle underneath my nose that's a bad look dude that's not good I can't quite tell why but I hate that mustache what's it say who do we report to it just says report to your local authority if seen yeah it uh it what talk to a ranger no I don't think it's like that but I think it is like report to the like local watch warden or something like that oh cool but you get the idea of thing that this is human stuff this is like frozen north authorities not the rangers what yeah what is the reward uh it is talk what the fuck man I just want to know it's uh five thousand coins five thousand coins holy shit no just listen hear me out I walk like this oh no we're all right we're already on the same page we turn you in get five thousand coins five thousand coins and then we buy the whole frozen north with the five thousand coins and then we free you this is amazing plan we could definitely kill so many selkies with five thousand gold coins five thousand gold kinds would make us fucking bulletproof we could buy that gash and bury it in the ocean if we wanted to I'm just gonna go ahead and do it and look at how bad I fucked up how much money is that's so much money it feels like it's like 10 million dollars uh okay so actually it is exactly enough to buy one merchant ship damn oh yeah still pretty good still pretty fucking good oleander's like what how much don't tell oleander how much my reward is we cut to oleander and he's at a different he's already is that fucking ving at the mill and they have a post that's not ving is no ving doesn't have a little mustache in the middle like that five thousand oh man I'm I'm glad that's not ving because I'd turn him in for five thousand coins no question on one hand he has a wanted poster the other hand he has the bill for the maintenance on his boat he's just like looking from one to the other four thousand nine hundred and ninety nine coins and ninety nine cents I'd have a little bit left over for myself uh smash cut too I mean it is hilarious of course to imagine fleecing the local authorities for five thousand coins but do we maybe want to avoid capture yeah great guys probably yes probably yeah you know what hundred percent I would never sell my friend but I feel like we're in kind of a blue sky sort of mode right now this is true this is true I'm all that I mean most of our tactics in the past have included turning ourselves or someone else in that's true you guys did turn yourselves in once in mccall remember that's how you got arrested and taken to the hearth that's how we found and freed ama yeah yeah and shia shia got the reward for that yeah totally so we've done this before there's precedent set what I'm saying what if like we go in either ving is disguised or we hide him and like we ask around like oh so just wondering like whereabouts would they potentially take this criminal shot on sight then we're like okay we won't go that is a good point really we should disguise ving if we are going into this outpost okay I'll put on this little mustache I make sure I put bags under my eyes uh okay well perellis or no perellis me say ving you might not need to disguise yourself because this poster is dog shit so you might not have to I'm gonna I'm gonna disguise myself somewhat okay how if I might ask what do you mean I'm just you know I'm I know a little something about a little something when it comes to altering someone's appearance and here I'm feeling now I know this is going to sound wild coming from me this feels like a less is more situation and when he says that tuck puts a vampire teeth that he was taking out of his bag ving has taken a handful of soot and he's putting it back down tuck is pushing that to the ground and billy takes puts away the coconut boobies did we raid a discount party halloween warehouse all halloween stores are racist yeah I'm thinking now you're gonna hate this but I'm gonna pitch it anyways okay we cut your hair I'm in oh whoa whoa grab it knife cut handfuls handles off whoa whoa whoa whoa buddy buddy buddy buddy bangs bangs bangs not bangs no it's all bangs oh no okay he gave himself like a weird bowl cut a bowl cut now bullcob page boy goes up across down page boy out like this oh wow oh my god what too much I mean two emo phillips kind of look like emo phillips does it look like a mug mushroom cut or does it flip out like a bell I was imagining like amelie short hair oh my gosh do you look like amelie shave the sides okay down buzz cut all the way down what if you take some of the hair that you shaved off your head and then give yourself a big long handlebar mustache then you'll look like an ice road trekker oh that's a good idea yeah amazing yeah can we get you a trekker's hat I mean her tat and some trucker tats yeah and they might sell trucker hats at the stop too yeah trekker hats here are like russian hats and they're like a lot of them hats they're big fur things yeah yeah but they still have the brim and they still say bass pro shops on the top different stuff yeah cabela's so what so ving has cut his hair short yeah wow big look change right now yeah so now it's like a puffy like mushroomy sort of bob thing no it's all the way shaved down that was a full progression you cut the hair all the way to the scalp it's buzz cut down oh buzz cut oh he had a buzz cut when he was a kid right in yes when you were a kid and then also three days season seven and mccall yes yeah so your hair grows hella fast that's what we know is uh you probably got like a good couple weeks before it's back to its normal leg yeah wait if I'm going as a trucker I should probably have a mullet oh well we'll just put the hat over top oh some of the hair into the mullet yeah perel holds up his hands I can yeah I can work with this oh so do we get like a little beauty montage now yeah eye on candle lit yeah yeah he's doing those weird uh meditative movements but as he prepares and uh yeah he takes a hat that he had and he chews up some resin that he found like on a bush and he takes some of the hair and he glues it to the back of the hat to create like a long mullet on just the back of the brim slaps it on your head it actually looks pretty good thank you so you've got a hat and you've got a mullet and you've got a mullet and you've got a mullet and you've got a hat a long gray mustache and long gray hair beautiful let's change up your voice yep no problem hey I'm not ving I guess they don't know what your voice sounds like yeah I think you could probably do whatever you want in there whose dad's the ranger king anyways what's the deal my mom's alive it's the performance of the century thing way to go and just as you're like getting ready to head towards the trek stop pantera stands before you is my debt repaid meat not yet you dare ask more of pantera I wanted to give billy some sweet what can the oh sweet gift some slippers of his own you desire me to steal slippers from the human people or what if he would donate some of his winter fur to me his under fur yeah and I could felt slippers this is what I was hoping thank you ah I see you wish for pantera's lush undercoat please give up your under fur for winter boots for the the young maid I shall do this upon one condition meat yes name it scratch pantera at the place where his ears connect with his head oh my god goes in with the knuckles you know how you oh yes under for gathering in my palms yeah molding felting slippers our debt is repaid and now pantera returns to the tundra where he lives wild and free and he turns and he begins trotting into the snow ah yes the wide tundra and then he stops and he looks back at you for a second and he looks kind of sad no I'm a creature of the wilds and I shall be free and he runs away come find us anytime you want I will not maybe I will he's gone into the snows well thank you there you go for my feet yeah wow these are like snowshoes you can walk on the snow with these probably you don't have to carry me anymore thank god what I mean that's nice slippers they are wow they're so soft so much softer than the slippers you had on the boat okay billy's got some beautiful new drift leopard slippers oh my gosh I'm walking around like a little prince yep your feet are honestly like perfectly tempered not too hot not too cold and you continue your walk up to the trek stop it's a couple hours walk for sure but you all get here and uh it's nice to be amongst civilization I imagine at least for that's what perel says wow it is nice to be amongst civilization again you can smell you smell that you smell that peat smoke an outhouse probably that kind of hot mossy shit smell oh I missed it I honestly missed it smells like barbecue someone's doing barbecue smells like a pancake yeah I smell a shit pit no no no it couldn't be and perel like runs around the wall of the building okay the outside and he runs to the gate and he looks at the gate and he drops to his knees and he's crying in ecstasy as he sees a sun and he's like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die next to the door that says all day breakfast what does it say and then tuck looks at billy and he's like it says all day breakfast I also fall passed out I fainted and maggie just walks past all of the uh ecstatic writhing that's happening in front of the gate being watched by a couple ice road trekkers who are just letting it happen yeah but uh inside we see we need a table for four and a kid's seat uh okay who's this server hey welcome at to what's this fucking place called ice hop that was instantaneous yeah I'm becky welcome to ice hop uh what are you looking for you're looking for a table for what four I think there's a high chair one two three four five in a high chair five five four no perl maggie uh my friend dave uh any points of uh me and then yeah our kid okay yeah so four and a high chair okay that was a that was a big number for you huh big guys yeah uh sorry no no no no it's fine and she bobs you with the handful of menus that she has tuck turns to vayne and he's like I don't like our server all right right over here and she walks you to like a table and she's like oh my god I'm gonna like a booth look this is a fantasy world we try really hard to paint a fantastical picture for our audience this is a diner you know what a diner looks like she sits you at a booth that's right next to a window could be like a log cabin kind of diner though absolutely yeah yeah so it is the shape and layout of your classic denny's I hop diner but everything is suede log cabin suede but like beautiful woodwork too like everything is so over designed like all the booths have like roaring bears and like trees and mountains they come from pinewood oh imported yeah yeah pinewood imports yeah that's that's the name of the store pinewood imports and it's just the pure one imports oh my god yeah there's like a roaring fire in the center of the diner oh yeah and then there's like a stone over top of part of that fire and that's where the like flat top griddle that they cook all the shit is on yeah the menu is like 35 pages it's so big it's like it's all day breakfast and that's four pages and then after that is like lunch and dinner yeah and senior specials oh and the senior specials are 30 pages long yeah alone they actually give you another book can I start you off with uh some waters and drinks or anything yeah can I get um like mead or whatever oh it's a little early in the morning for me don't you think jesus fuck mead I'm gonna get some water and I'm gonna get some all right one mead for the uh questionable guy in the corner uh what can I get for the rest of you can I have a chocolate oat milk please oh absolutely sweetheart and she pinches your cheeks a little bit oh I don't think anyone's pinched billy's cheeks in the entire show a couple months anything else no I'll have a wintergreen latte please okay all right interesting taste I like it dave uh and perel and maggie both order uh perel orders a tea and maggie orders um what does maggie order butter rum hot butter rum hot butter rum oh can I change mine to hot butter rum uh okay and she goes back and she crosses out one of those are you she crosses out mead very dramatically abdul in real life is so upset okay two butter rums a tea an a chocolate oat milk and a wintergreen latte okay I'll be right back and she throws out some menus and she walks away and you can hear she can see she walks over uh she swings her hips a lot when she walks and she walks really fast she goes over to uh another server and they start talking really quietly and looking at you and laughing a little bit I don't like this place guys I took leads and he's like I don't like this place what's wrong you know what I feel like they might be making fun of us but they're definitely not suspicious of us and they're not of me being a wanted man so I think we're maybe this is the best case scenario is that they think we're stupid dumb idiot hick tourists fine fine I'll stay it's the most beautiful place I've ever been so you're just smelling all the foods that are cooking behind billy's not even looking at everyone he's looking at the hot stone with all these eggs being fried up yeah and I love it because billy in my mind he's turned all yeah billy's in a high chair and he's like completely turned himself around his legs are dangling off the back he's like justin timberlinking the high chair and the cook honestly looks like uh an escaped convict like he's like huge like huge arms t-shirt rolled up big hairy arms big huge guy just taking pokes everywhere oh yeah he looks like he did his own tattoos shit and he's just dicing it up cooking like a champ it looks like he's he's got some real skill at least in the diner world and you're sitting there looking at your menus and you hear jing jing as the bell at the door rings as uh two uniformed warriors of some kind walk in oh shit be cool be cool everyone should just be cool can I sorry no and they sit down at the bar and they just flagged down a waitress who starts pouring them coffee can I roll to try and figure out what they are yeah totally okay okay come on please nope four I got four shit and tuck you're sitting there and uh you're looking at the two warriors guards militia folk whatever and one of them turns around and looks at you and I immediately like hold the menu up in front of my face like we make eye contact and then I'm like nope flip over you tip over a glass of water I'm doing so when I do that and uh and then he also sees me peek over the menu and sees that he's still making eye contact and then I duck back behind and then he just turns back to the bar and continues drinking his coffee um tuck why did you do it like that I panicked I'm sorry now you're gonna have to pretend like you were flirting with him okay it's the only way you're right all right I'll do this okay I'll do this for us all right you can do it and then tuck puts the menu down and he stares at the guy and he goes to the back of his head yeah and the guard turns around and he's like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry and then he turns around again and looks back in your direction and then tuck goes uh dual's got his closed fist up to his mouth up to his open mouth tuck is this unaware of how to flirt with a man yeah he was gonna do a jerk off motion to his face and then he's like no that's offensive and then he dips a figure in the water in front of him and he licks he licks the water off of his figure he's like and then he dips the next figure and then he does it with every finger and then uh once all of the fingers are wet he does one of these wow wearing wig flirtatiously waving all of my fingers roll 2d6 plus charisma nope it's not what the fuck is going on even though I have a plus three charisma I got a five what happened oh my god that was bad and that is what perel says into his hand as the guard gets up and starts walking over to the table hey folks hey big fella you look thick as fuck today I'm sorry officer my friend loves a man in uniform I love a man out of uniform a little bit more if you know what I mean six inches more yeah yeah baggy reaches across and puts an arm a hand on his shoulder and he's like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry a woman runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and runs up and christ you're a halfling yeah I thought you were a little human baby I mean I'm kind of both okay but that's where we're from the halfling lands all of you hither and thither but that's where we came from what's your what's your business around here fucking breakfast bro what about you man just in here for a nosh and brought by like the most gnarliest beers in town heard they had some good brews on tap man sorry the face paul made after he finished shocking I imagine making that face just panicked and scared where are you headed what's your business we're on a brewery tour yeah all across yeah the frozen north and then back down along the other side he takes a long obnoxious sip of his coffee all right enjoy your breakfast and you enjoy having maggie just grabs your beard and yanks your head down the table level and he finishes a good day sir okay so I think we can all agree yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes Guys, am I bad at flirting?

Yes. Sorry. I mean, yes. Yeah. No. Unequivocally. Yeah, absolutely. Just with guys or with women too? I've never seen it work once in my entire time I've known you. I think bad's enough of a word for what you are at flirting. I'm honestly not even sure that we could call what you were doing flirting. That's true. That was more harassment than anything. And the fact that you didn't mean to harass them. Yeah, that makes it worse. That makes it a lot worse. Well, how are they supposed to react?

Are they not supposed to look that upset? Here's how I imagine it going down in my head. I would do the water thing with my fingers, and then I thought he was going to reach behind the counter, grab a bunch of cucumbers, and then dip them in his water, and then do the same thing, but with the cucumbers. And then you would grab a zucchini. Yeah. It keeps getting bigger. And then it keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger until we're fucking each other.

So that's how you imagined it going down in your head. That's how I planned it. That was your plan. Your plan involved him having a secret store of cucumbers that you were not aware of, and then returning the gesture in a similar but scaled up way. Yeah. Slowly lifts up a handful of giant zucchinis. Planned. Okay. I've got some drinks here. Here's your chocolate oat milk. Here's two hot rum butters. Here's a nice chamomile tea. So early in the morning. What an interesting choice.

And a wintergreen latte. Okay. Can I get you any food? I will have one of everything, at least. One of everything? Okay. Maybe that's… You know what? No. I want to eat fast, and I'll have a bunch of pancakes. Okay. Bunch of pancakes. I'll have a bunch of eggs. Bunch of eggs? How do you want those? Anyway cooked. Cooked eggs? Okay. I'll also have a bunch of meat. Bunch of meat? Any specificity to the meat? Nah, whatever you got. Just loose. Just loose. A lot. Can I have a lot of syrup? Butter?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Have a lot of whipped cream? Okay. Where do you want that whipped cream located? Anywhere. Not on the eggs. Okay. Not on the eggs. In my mouth, stupid. Okay. And… And… And… Can I have some gravy? Gravy? Yeah, okay. In a bowl. Okay. I have two gravies. Billy, finish the first gravy before you have a second. Fine. You can have a second gravy. Fine. Okay. When you finish the first. Fine. I'll… Is that… Well, I'll start with… For my appetite. Thank you very much.

We are fucking dog shit at setting boundaries. We let him order so many things that we're like, maybe just get the one cup of gravy. And then I have a 10% gravy. I want two! And what can I get for you? I'm just going to eat what he doesn't eat. Your… Your… Voice? Your voice? Your voice changed a little bit. Sorry. I have this… I have a poutine. That's not it either. I'll have a poutine if you've got it. I'll have… You got… My dad here. Oh, yeah. I love… I'm good with the beer.

I'm mostly sticking with… That's the worst. I've got some pretzels. I love… Y'all have pretzel poutine? I'll have… I'll have… Corned beef hash. Corned beef hash. Okay. I don't know if there's an audio setting I can put on this that will make that not horrible. Oh, you have… Don't say salad. Don't say salad. Don't say salad. Caesar salad? Awesome. Nailed it. Caesar salad. It's an interesting choice this time of year in this part of the world. For an ice road checker. Yeah. Interesting.

Okay. I'll see what I can scrounge up. I don't know what we have in the way of leaves, really, but we'll see what we can do. Whatever you put in your Caesars, I'll have that. Understood. Caesar. Here we go. I'm good with that. Okay. What about you, big guy? Can I get, like, 40 eggs and a ham flank? Oh, somebody's in a bulk phase. I fucking hate you. And what about you two? And Perel orders eggs Florentine. Of course. And Maggie says that she's fine with her drink.

I look at Maggie with so much serious… I look at Maggie with so much seriousness in my face. I'm like, this isn't all-you-can-eat breakfast. No. It's not what? No. It's not all-you-can-eat. It's all-day breakfast. What? And Becky walks away. Billy, you just ordered 40 gold coins. How can a little kid mistaking all-day breakfast for all-you-can-eat breakfast is so fucking funny. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. It looks very serious. She's starting to… She's sipping her drink. She's leaning in. Okay. So, one, I'm not sure that we actually have enough money to pay for all the food that Billy ordered. And two, we might have the fuzz on us any time now. What makes you think that? Well, I mean, as a member of a secret society, I have had to work against a lot of authority figures in my time. And trust me, when you get to my age, you get to work. You get to work. What's the word?

Recognize the movements of the pigs. You know what I mean? Do you think we should go right now? I think it would rise more suspicion if we were to run out on our bill. What if we each get up and leave separately and then we convene somewhere else? Yeah, that could work. That could work. But right now, she kind of looks out the window. She pulls down the Venetian blinds a little bit and peeks out. I think we're okay right now. I think we just want to be careful. So we'll eat our food. We'll pay.

We'll pay. Somehow. We'll tip an okay amount because she's kind of… She's really into Tuck. I don't know what's going on there. What do you mean into? You poor stupid boy. She's insulting me so much. Oh my gosh. She's negging you, bro. Well, it's working. I feel negative. And then we'll head out carefully, quietly. If it comes to it, you know, if they make… If they make a move on us, then yeah, we'll bolt.

But we just want to be careful because there ain't really much place to run around here, you know? Yeah. It's pretty flat and white. Pretty flat and white. You have adequately described the environment that we're all familiar with. Yeah. Perel is drinking his tea. This is great, guys. I'm having a real adventure. I'm having the best time of my life right now. Billy's already gotten a small stack of pancakes that Becky did not bring. Well, I can get out of this high chair. Anytime I want. Yeah.

Billy's already made friends with the chef. Oh, yeah. The big tattooed chef. He's mother's recipe for pancake. They're the best pancakes I ever tasted. That secret? Yeah. He's I ground cinnamon, I grow myself. No way. Yes. And he reaches into his shirt and on at the end of the chain is a tiny little vial of cinnamon. Only one peach is need for whole day pitch. Just one? Just one. Just one. He's precious to me. My name, of course, being Oleg. Yes. He's precious to me, Oleg. Oleg Bogdan.

Oleg Bogdan. A beautiful name. Yes. For a beautiful chef. Oh, you're too kind, little boy. No, you have blessed me on this day with the greatest feast of my life. You have blessed Oleg with opportunity to follow his passion. His passion being making pancake for small boy. Thank you. And I love to eat. Food made for small boy. You and Oleg are of one heart, little boy. One soul and one mind. You know? And he pulls the chain off his neck and he places in your tiny hand the vial of cinnamon.

I simply couldn't, Oleg. You must. I know how much this means to you. I want you to have it. I will remember this kindness. No one in this place say Oleg pancake is good. What? The menu is so large. So many things on menu. No one ever have Oleg pancake. I will carry your legacy on with me for the rest of my life. I wish you to do this. Okay. Okay. Plus I have vials of this at home. This is my cabinet full of necklaces with vials on them. Small boy doesn't know this though. No.

I carry it with me in my heart. And then from the table we're like, Billy, can you stop bothering the chef? Okay. I have to go back to my high chair now. Farewell, small boy. Okay. I'll see you later. Goodbye. Dosvidanya. Dosvidanya. How did you know that? Anastasia the movie. No, no, no. How do you know that, Billy? Oh, Billy? Anastasia the stage. He Oleg taught me. The reggaemuffin. He Oleg taught me. Yeah. That's what we didn't see was Oleg being like, dosvidanya means farewell.

In place the time from which is, um, Durvor, I suppose. Oh yeah. That makes sense. We have established as Eastern Europe a fantasy world. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. We have established as Eastern Europe a fantasy world. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. Uh, and Becky comes back with all the food. Billy's absolutely colossal mountain of shit, uh, is placed on his high chair and then half of the table. He got as much food as like the rest of us combined. Yeah.

And he's already eating a stack of pancakes. He is going complimentary stack of pancakes. You don't really usually see that. I don't know. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I don't know what I'm going to eat next. It's just to carry me for two months. She's handing it out. And here's your corned beef hash and eggs Florentine. Nothing for you, frugal Fran over here. And here's your 40 eggs and your ham hock.

I didn't even bring you a fork. I didn't even think you'd want it. Fuck you. All right. Becky walks away. But like doing her fast hip swinging walk. And she looks back at Tuck like, okay. I like you. Got a little fire in you, don't you, big man? I don't know. Maybe I am gay. I fucking hate this. This sucks. Yeah. Do you just enjoy your meal? No, I didn't want to order this. This is not what I wanted. But I'm picking around the corned beef. Like a little burnt pieces of red pepper. I hand Ving.

The garnishes, the vegetable garnishes off of my plate. Thanks, Bill. Yeah. I think you could probably cobble together a salad out of that. Thank you. You're welcome. I take the celery out of my Caesar and chop it up. Oh, yeah. She gave you a Caesar. Yeah. Tomato juice, alcohol. So much celery. Oh, yeah. It's one of those weird ones from like diners where it's like celery with toothpicks in it and there's chicken wings on the toothpicks. There's a donut on top of the celery.

It's a tower of shit. Oh, cool. Yeah. Do you want some of my eggs? I got 40. Thanks. Here we go. Beef hash on your plate. Thanks. And anything like is there anything that you guys want to talk about or think about or plan during the meal? Yes. Yeah. Uh-huh. What should we talk about? Tuck says. Well, we could talk about either Ving's dad. Yeah. Or we could talk about Addernack All Water and how we're going to get in there. Yeah.

Do you think there's anybody in here who knows anything about Addernack? In the restaurant? Yeah. Can we look around? Yep. Just turn realities. Listen around. Four. Probably. Or three. Shit. Oh, you know what? Yeah. I'm going to turn my shitty failed roll into a seven and nine. Hell yeah. Nice. Perfect. Okay. Oh, and you should probably roll your fairy child. Is it tomorrow? Because it is the next day. Yeah. Okay. Nevermind. Oh, no. Six. Oh, gosh. On a six, I believe you get one. I get one hold.

Okay. I'll use it. Okay. I use that. Yeah. You use your one remaining, your tiny little reserve of fairy energy, which has been smothered by the stack after stack of pancakes. Honestly, yeah. At this ice hop. And you, what do you, yeah. What question do you ask off the discern realities list? Finn keeps taking sections of the whipped cream. Like, this is going to be, it's way too much sugar. Oh, yeah. You know what? And cream. It's so much cream. He's going to keep. Yeah.

Even the little amount I've had is like, I'm like. Messing with my judgment. Yeah. You're a fairy child. Yeah. All right. All right. Okay. What here is useful or valuable to me? Like, in the way of someone that would know something about Adderneck Wall Water? Like, maybe, like, there's probably other people here in the restaurant. Yeah.

So, there's like a pretty mousy looking young woman who looks like Ving to you, looks like someone from the frozen north, who is like reading a big textbook, like straight up, just like at the bar by herself with like a coffee, reading a big textbook. That Billy's like, a smart person. A nerd. A nerd. Do you see her? I see the nerd. Ving. Mm-hmm. Should we talk to her? Can we see what book she's reading? You'd have to go up and ask her. It's like laid on the table.

So, Billy, you can't see the cover. Yeah. And if Billy were to try and see the pages, it would look like gibberish to him. It seems weird for Ving to do it since he's trying to be undercover and. Right. Unassuming. Yeah. Oh, I was going to say, I can go do it. Mm-hmm. Maggie reaches out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you sure? Yes. I know how to be a nerd. And then I put my glasses upside down. Okay. Do we have any books on us? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Shit. I have. Fuck.

I have a weather book. I have a book of sea shanties. Oh, my God. Oh, great. We all pile the books into Tuck's arms. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I take one of my leather belts and I tie them around. You know what they used to have back in the day? Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Does anyone else have anything that will make me look smarter? Yeah. Another pair of glasses. Yeah. On the top of your head. Yeah. No, my sage glasses. Oh, yeah. Oh, I have like a tiny piece of fabric that I use under, like for warmth.

And I tie that around like a little ascot. Oh, cool. Yeah. So you look fancy. Yeah. Oh, in my poultice kit, I pull out a little bit of bandage and I put it around the middle of your glasses. Oh, cool. Yeah. Just to show that you are one of her, truly. Yeah. All right. I'm going to go over there. I'm going to talk to this nerdy lady. I shuffle over. Okay. Big fist bump. Pop fist bump to me. Yeah. You can do it. I know. I will. Yeah. I'm going to go talk to her. Just look at what she's reading.

And charm her into giving me some information. Wait. Before he goes, he talks to me and he's like, do we know where the, like, what do you know about the vault? Do you know where it is specifically? I mean, I mean, I kind of do. Like, it's, I've been there once before. Is it past Old Shear? Yeah. Oh, no. It's past Shear City altogether. It's like up and it's like north. West. West from here. Mm-hmm. On the very edge of the continent, basically.

There's a place where the glaciers collide with the icebergs. There's like a glacier coming down from the glacier divide. Oh. And they're driving together and they're like smashing up and creating these big wedges of dangerous ice passage. Yeah. It's called the Jaws. Oh. Jaws. Like, because it looks like teeth? And it grinds whatever goes through. Whoa. Extremely dangerous. Okay. Yeah. And that's the vault? It's past that. Yeah. A little bit past that. It's past the Jaws? Yeah. Dude.

Like a natural defense. That's wicked. Yeah. It's pretty fucking cool. I agree. Remember, you're a nerd. Don't say things like wicked. Okay. Cool. Very interesting, m'lady. Don't say m'lady. Nobody likes m'lady. Okay. Thanks. All right. And then Tuck picks up his books and he walks over. Mm-hmm. He sits, he plops down like two seats down from her. At the bar. She's just reading. We're all watching Tuck. Tuck sits there silently. Ving's miming opening a book.

And I'm miming, like, wiggling the glasses. Okay. Yeah. Tuck looks over and he opens a book and he's like, Creak! He makes a creak sound with his mouth. Slam. Uh, book. She looks over and looks back at her book. And then Tuck loudly licks a finger and turns a page. Sorry, when you say loudly licks a finger, what the fuck do you mean by that? All of his attempts to get information from people involve him licking his fingers. Not all the time, just today.

His fingers are just raw from all the licking. I think we forgot to tell him, like, you can talk to her. I have faith in him. He'll get there. Okay. He's doing his thing. He's a master of something. Maybe not this. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday. And hopefully this. She sips her coffee. And then Tuck starts actually reading the weather book that he's got. And then he goes, what the fuck? Roll 2d6 plus charisma. Because he's never opened this book. Yeah.

And he's like, they're dumb. Different kinds of clouds. Oh, I love this. Genuinely interested. What? Snake eyes! Can we roll a different? No, you can't reroll. No, but like those dice- These dice are weighted fucked. That's fine. Don't roll them anymore. Can I not do that one? No. You seriously want to reroll? Shawn- No. I'm asking. This is- these dice are fucked. Okay, fine. Wait, let me try- roll them one more time.

I just want to see- to see tux trying to act smart you just literally rolled a 10 okay so I guess it's fate and I fucked up I rolled a five yeah uh you say what the fuck and there is a failure beyond the fact that she simply doesn't look up she's engrossed in her reading and I think you feel your confidence fail you're like I can't fucking do this I can't fucking talk to this nerd this is too intimidating I gotta get out of here uh but you leave in your haste you leave one of the books behind oh no you had two books you had the sea shanty book and the weather book you put them down and then you feel your confidence break and you're like I gotta get the fuck out of here and you come back and you sit down and you have a book and a menu okay and I left the weather book behind the more important of the two where's the weather book I left the menu I was like this is oh fuck damn it uh do we see her leave with it yeah you look and she gets up finishes her coffee puts it down reaches over grabs the weather book and walks out the side door can I chase after her yeah absolutely yeah billy's like that's our weather book I steal books yeah 2d6 plus dexterity okay nine nine we can aid by creating a distraction elsewhere oh yeah totally because you got a nine okay yeah maybe you guys uh create a diversion small one small small innocuous I'm gonna um oh nice I got nine okay uh diversion is I drop my caesar on the ground yeah everybody in the diner looks towards your table and at that point I scurry down I run out the door before it closes and the server says opa oh yeah absolutely and she laughs as she does it this chick sucks and billy you dart out the door and uh slip it through it just before it closes watching this woman hustle across the yard of the trek stop and uh she goes out to the gate and from where you're hiding kind of behind the one door that's closed you see her talking to the two guards that were inside the diner and she hands over the book what I'm gonna sneak closer 2d6 plus dexterity seven okay as you get closer like you're creeping like from behind a crate to like behind a wheel behind a husky there's like a dog sleeping on the ground and you're hiding behind I'm like oh so soft so soft you get kind of distracted a little bit as you're petting this dog he rolls over but you hear the woman go yes they're in the diner right now I believe that they are unaware of our surveillance of them but I think that if we are going to and they kind of start walking away if you want to get closer they might spot you I'm gonna get closer okay roll it again 2d6 plus dexterity 10 so as you're standing there petting this husky it miraculously gets up and starts walking in that direction and I say good boy and you're hiding behind this moving husky and then it flops down a little bit closer perfect we could see from the other side of the dog like oh oh we're watching through the venetian block blinds so it's like three slits are open in the blinds you can hear from the other side when the dog sits down and barely stays hidden like from behind watching sports you can see the blinds like shaking and the two guards and the woman are talking okay well if they're unaware of this is one of the guards speaking if they don't know that we're watching we'll just prepare and the second that they walk out those gates we will attempt to detain them okay so I I!!!!!!!

Like sheer city okay then if oleg can sneak us out of here and on one of those then that's the way I think out of here without getting caught okay I've got I've got your bill here here you go I just put it all on one she puts it in the middle of the table start clearing some of these away for you thanks becky a compliments to the chef hey you hear that oleg and he nods solemnly we would like private audience with the chef to give him our compliments what the fuck I don't know bro yeah when you say we would like private audience becky's like hmm and then you say bro and she goes ah there we go uh 2d6 plus charisma seven okay yeah no problem just uh we can just clear up your bill and then I can send you into the back with oleg yep bad news guys everybody that got a normal meal is one coin and then billy is 15 coins?

God damn it that's 18 coins okay I'm really sorry everyone it's okay you ate it all I did but I thought it wasn't all you can eat and it was too late once I found out the truth how much how much money do you have zero oh yeah I don't have I gave oleander all our money you had 20 all of our money okay we had 500 gold coins at one point billy might have a couple coins I do have forger's gold oh that's how we could use up we could so the plan is what to try and pay for your bill with forger's gold yes and what form is it in right now it's like a little vial right yeah it's in a jar so I need some time can you just make a lump of gold that looks like it's huge enough to cover an 18 coin would that work I mean do that yeah you know what let's roll Spout Lore 2d6 plus intelligence so eight eight okay so yeah ving you remember this uh of course the great forest doesn't really have traditional currency which in some cultural way extended to much of the frozen north uh barter is accepted basically everywhere if not on a governmental level like when you get closer to the cities of like sheer city and old cheer we got to talk more about what that is actually like up there there are unified currencies but most places will accept barter just because that's the way it was for a long time so you think you could pass off a lump of forger's gold as enough gold to pay your bill okay I'm gonna um yeah I'm folding up a fork and bending it around the fork just to give it some weight I guess I don't know oh that's smart that is really smart yeah give me 2d6 plus wisdom yeah see if you can do this in a smart way I got six I'll eight squish up the fork yeah I'll help you squish the fork with my stupid big hands with my big hands that I can't seduce a single guy with oh what my god amazing snake island is fucking christ this is bullshit incredible that's fate that's fate baby damn it so we both fail oh no yeah you both fail shitting fuck this doesn't make any sense I've gotten so many snake eyes this episode it's cause you said you didn't want any so you're squishing up the fork and ving is like pouring foragers gold into his hand and like trying to mash it into a lump but it's like sticking to your hand so you got this like layer of gold on your hands and you're both getting really panicked cause you're like how the fuck does this thing work and maggie's like uh fuck uh hey folks I hate to be I hate to be this person but I think we've got company and she looks outside and the two guards are like moving towards the diner shit fuck time to dash can I do escape route but like apply it to her everyone or is it just me uh read escape route for me so when you're in too deep and need a way out name your escape and roll a roll plus dexterity on 10 plus you're gone on a 7 to 9 you can stay or go but but if you go it costs you something so yeah I think with a 10 like I think with escape route if you were to succeed mm-hmm billy would be able to get out without additional rolls and I think it would reveal a path in which the rest could escape but they would still have to like probably roll something to follow you you know what I mean yeah I think that makes sense does that work that seems like the safest way out of here like we're gonna fucking make a ruckus getting out of here anyway I have this gunpowder I'm gonna throw it into his fire get him out of the way good idea oh yeah okay roll your escape route uh 13 13 holy shit yeah so I I tell you guys really quickly what I'm gonna do and I'm gonna say meet me in the back okay I like jump out of my high chair and run over to oleg and I'm like oleg you and I are blood brothers now hey yes boy yeah I really need your help getting out of here anything for you my small boy please lead me and my friends to safety out the back why what is wrong there are a bunch of narcs coming up after us his his vision darkens I hate narcs I do too come with me okay if you want to live I do want to live he looks like arnold schwarzenegger looks exactly like arnold schwarzenegger massive guy come it's arnold schwarzenegger with prison stick at books yeah and he grabs you and just carries you into the back like a small bag of apples I look at my friends be safe and he takes you yeah through like the back door out into the snow one of the back of the ice tracks it says um the chopper on it get to the chopper yeah he looks at you and says this one needs to leave soon my friend he is he is good he is trustworthy boy a heart of gold he's he go to sheer city he goes all the way to sheer city he do but the road and he holds you close to his face the road is dangerous between here and there my friend it's okay many many obstacles I will be brave okay and our and your friendship our friendship will give me the strength to go on he clutches you to his chest I clutch him oh like how can I ever repay you leave and he throws fucking whips him into the back of his truck and uh yeah the rest of you are sitting at the table and just so I understand what the treks look like they look like the ice boats but they're huge with massive skids on them I'm genuinely imagining it's hard for me not to just imagine a semi truck that's what I was thinking made of wood with skis okay and but but like the front and the cart are like attached because it's still like a carriage basically okay it's covered okay you know what I mean and then there are uh teams of dogs that are just in there too yeah there's also dogs here okay are they just like sleeping up at the front yeah pretty much they're like the spare they're like spare tires like if there's not enough wind then they get the dogs out okay yeah maggie's like looking out the window at the cops and she's like okay they're coming what do we do what are we gonna do slowly get up and move out here I'm gonna throw this gunpowder into the fire in the middle of the room it's gonna make a huge ruckus go go go okay defy danger charisma to act casual okay everybody act casually okay uh ten yes uh plus charisma seven okay so tuck you get up shockingly casually uh dave ving's persona slides out of the booth next to you and maggie starts sliding out of the booth like pushing perel who was on the aisle side and move just go go now get up I'm trying to get up but I'm trying to be casual and he's like trying to drink his tea as he stands up leave your fucking tea dude and then he looks at the window and goes and he sees that the cops are like hurrying up and then you all look and the cops start rushing towards the diner they definitely see we start running I say I apologize everyone for what's about to happen and then throw the just smash the jar of um gunpowder into the the fire in the middle of the room underneath the flat top okay 2d6 plus wisdom wisdom yeah yeah great six gonna need some I help oh eight okay great thank you so um it is ving throws it and it hits the ground and and tucks scoops it up and it whips it into the fire yeah so I slam it down as hard as I can it goes ding ding ding doesn't break that's I told you mason jars are incredible and the jar skids across the lid pops off and all the powder scatters across the ground oh my gosh so tuck scoops it up and throws the powder into the fire so it's not a bomb like a like a glass jar full if it would have been so it doesn't do exactly what you want but it is very loud and it does that like firework like like instead of a huge boom but the only problem is that the room rapidly fills with smoke yeah oh yeah it's hard for you to see now we get low and get go yeah and you hear the door burst open the bell sounds like it rips off the wall and then tuck screams fire everybody get out to get everyone to rush rush the front door yeah totally 2d6 plus charisma having a bad time you got this no no yeah 13 okay and a bunch of people the scattering of people that were in here including becky like rush towards the door yeah and as you're hustling towards the back you hear like twang twang and two crossbow bolts like thunk into the wall around you you get through the back there's still a little bit less smoke but you see an open door and standing in the door is a powerful man covered in stick it poke tattoos and he goes this way and we follow him of course you do it's impossible not to and you get outside and the wind is starting to pick up the snow is starting to blow whistling through the stones and there's a big open freight entrance with a a track right there rumbling in the snow as the dog is starting to like yeah pull at their lead it starts to pick up speed they're raising the mast on it too wind is picking up in the sails and he goes go be free do what it is ever you are doing I don't know but go get away from the tux says thank you oleg and then he holds his hand up for one of those oleg grabs your hand what is this kind of handshake called this is just called the predator handshake it's the predator handshaker predator handshake your biceps both bulge aggressive you son of a got you pushing too many pencils and then we hold for too long as we both try and make our biceps as big as possible but it's like a show of respect rather than intimidation yeah totally respect and we're also looking at each other's yeah there's a little bit of it that's flirting yeah just like god damn that's a big man right back at you buddy now go okay and then tuck uh it shifts to a wide he's holding uh an on fire log from the fire and he whips it at the cops that are coming through uh give me a defy danger dexterity uh ten now you're rolling great so the two cops come rushing out the back door and they both just get laid out by a huge log and you're you run along so you run up behind the ice trek and you hop in the entrance and ving tuck billy and perel and maggie all course off into the snow blizzard starting I want to do a elemental mastery okay yeah to try and cover our tracks yeah otherwise they'll just know exactly where we went nice so roll plus con ten ten okay so on a ten the effect I desire comes to pass and I will retain control so you will pay nature's price yeah okay so you call on the winds of the frozen north the mighty northern gales to blow the snow to cover your tracks to hide you from your enemies and get us out of here faster and get you out of here faster the wind picks up in the sails and the dogs basically start falling behind because the trek is going so fast and they're trained to jump on when it accelerates under the force of the wind it's actually pretty cute to watch because they nose each other up I was thinking that too so cute uh and then suddenly your mind is filled with a vision of gale force winds towers of gray cloud piercing into the sky locked in battle with a mighty thunderbird whoa claws wings feathers flying blood arcing towards the ground you know that you are seeing through the eyes of cloud piercer and he is in pain whoa and that's where we're gonna end it for this week your game master Shawn O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz so long playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers take care guys and playing fat billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai nooo aaron reed is our intro and outro music composer and performer you can find all the music that aaron has composed and performed for the show written by abdul and I at soundcloud.com and you can find aaron's album healthy at aaronreed.

Bandcamp.com thank you to our supporters around the world for supporting the show if you would like to support the show and get access to hours upon hours of bonus content merchandise special games clothing or not clothing just saying whatever clothing food implements handcrafted blades custom written wedding vows and my hand in marriage postcards and a whole other bunch of cool stuff find us at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money please we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly speltlore

Hey, Tuck here. We're running low on funds because Billy dropped our fanny pack into the ocean and that had all our money in it. Please go to patreon.com slash speltlore to donate more money to us so that we can replace the fanny pack. Also, mirrors. We need to buy new mirrors. Where did we get that guy? Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed.

Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in bread. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close for the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Speltlore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hi there, guys. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica. Hello, everyone. Each member of Speltlore put down their phones at the exact moment they began speaking. Except Jessica. Except Jessica. Jessica's still doing something. I'm playing Wordle, everyone, before I forget to. Before you ruin your streak. Yep.

When last we left our heroes, they had been given an unceremonious ceremony in which they were asked to leave Hibernia under a gash in which Ving agreed to kill the man known as the Ranger King. That's what we know. Mm-hmm. They began their quest into the gray, and we found ourselves alongside a vessel of unimaginable folk. Yeah. We weren't sure if these people were friendly or not.

Billy put a smiley face drawing in a bottle that Tuck whipped over onto the other ship, professing friendship as they came alongside, initially revealing that they were all wearing identical necklaces in the shape of anchors, which Oleander also had one, which he described as the symbol of the sailor that he pays homage to.

And presumably the others did too, until Billy, using his Billnoculars, looked close, using Trap Expert, determining that these folks were in fact pirates, as their sailor medallions were in fact the shape of a sword wreathed by two hooks. Pretty cool. Thank you. I was pretty fucking pleased that I came up with that. Thank you. In the moment, I was happy with it. The battle was joined. The pirates were vanquished. Oleander, three sheets to the wind. Absolutely fucked. Yeah, he got so drunk.

Mm-hmm. For almost no reason, it seems like, but he was stressed. Just stressed. Yeah, he was just hitting the stores. And Billy and Oleander were having a nice, friendly, varied conversation on the deck of the ship, which was then revealed to be a distraction tactic, as Ving and Tuck planned an intervention for the captain below decks. Slash an inventory of how much booze was left on the boat. Yeah, mostly just letting him know that there was no outing. There was no alcohol.

And then Oleander kind of turned it into an intervention of his own. With the help of his quartermaster, and it sounds like maybe best friend, Darcy Spice. Yeah. Darcy Spice. The intervention was a hit. Everybody got a hug and a- Super- Oh, I was gonna say, everyone got super drunk. Everyone got wasted in celebration. We gotta stop getting drunk at these things. It is now, therefore. That'll work. Two steps forward. Everybody got a hug and a peck.

Including Billy, who came down for a hug after promising to steer the ship, which then aggressively ran aground. The crew went to the top deck and discovered that they were ashore in the frozen north. And that is where we find our heroes now. Well, you did it, Billy. You did it! I did it! What the fuck happened? Well, we're here. Says Oleander. It was easy. What do you mean? I just, like, whirled it around a couple of times. Like, you know, when you spin the thing, you go, vroom! There.

You go, and you go the other way, like, vroom! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like a sailor. That's not what you're supposed to do. Uh, well, tell that to yourself, because I clearly got us here when you couldn't. And he looks behind at the ocean, which is, of course, shining a brilliant blue because of the bright blue sky. It's so bright. It's so bright. There's icebergs in the distance, you know, like, just huge chunks of ice floating. Snow-covered coastline, trees, forests, the whole deal.

You could see a pod of orca whales breaching. Yeah. Yeah. Not a shred of fog to be seen. The gray is so far away from here. And then he kind of dusts his hands off, puts his hands on his hips, and goes, well, I guess my job is done. That's the sun runner for you. Yep. Fast as all hell. He reaches down and he pats the side of the boat. Atta girl. Chunks of the bower falling up as a massive hole falls out of its listing one side. She's beautiful. Beautiful as the day I stole her. Sorry, bud.

Anyway, so we're here. What now? Well, I guess is that goodbye? I guess kinda. Where the fuck are we? I mean, yeah, I don't know where we are. Wait, is there a town nearby? Can I? Yeah, go ahead. Discern realities. Two to six plus wisdom. Okay. Well, that's five. I'll aid because I'm from here. Nope, can't. It's five. It's four, actually. Okay. Oh, yeah, right. I have a debility to wisdom. Okay, then, unfortunately, it looks like wherever you beached yourself, no towns in sight. Shit.

Well, I mean, is there anything I can discern realities of where we are to see if Ving knows the shoreline? I want to use something like digging through the ground to see how deep the snow is or how what color the ice is or see if there's any plants around to see if I can determine the region. Does that make any sense? Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Oh, well, go off the Orcas. Orcas are only as certain part of the bay this time of year, this time of day. Nice. Eleven. Okay.

So you get three questions off the list. What should I be on the lookout for? So, yeah, Ving, you know that like you look down the coast and you can see the edge of the great forest and the like wooded mountains that make up the majority of it. So, you know that instead of landing close to Adarnax Tower, you have like a little bit of a chance to get to the top of the mountain. You have landed much closer to the great forest than you intended to in an area called Beecher Straight.

So, you are not only quite far from human habitation, but you're very close to elves. I'm really sorry. I saw snow, so I thought I'd pull over. That's great instincts. Well, we're here now, then, I guess. So, this is Ollie. So, what am I, what do I, what do we do? I mean, we don't want to be too close to the top of the mountain. We don't want to be too close to the great forest. So, do we, I mean. I mean, we're kind of at a crossroads. We need to go north to get to Adarondack's house.

No, Adarnack Allwater. We have to go north to get to Adarax place. But we have to go south to murder the man that we have to kill. Right. I feel like we go north first. And hopefully that we make it back in two months, right guys? Yeah. Looking around nervously. I think we can go find this glacier in less than two months. Like on foot? Yeah. Or is there like a north-south trade route maybe that runs? Can I use Bardic lore? Histories? Oh. Because Oldshire is old. Uh-huh.

Is there a north-south trade route that runs to Oldshire from like the coast here? Can you read Bardic lore real quick? When you first encounter an important creature, location, or item, you recall, covered by your Bardic lore, you can ask the GM any one question about it. The GM will answer truthfully. The GM may then ask what legend, song, or tale. Okay. You heard that information in. Yeah. So I guess that I suppose that applies. Yeah. This area. Yeah.

There is a trade route that connects the principalities to the north. It goes through the frozen mist mountains. It goes through the frozen mist mountains. Yeah. And it's probably not going right along the coast, but it must be kind of close by. Like if you're in the north. There should be like an outpost or a fort or something somewhere. You would assume so. Yeah. Okay. So where did you hear about this road? I heard about it in a map. In a map. All right. Perfect.

You remember seeing a map and there's a road there? Yeah. It's one of Tuck's very few very clear memories. You know how sometimes our memory will just register very clearly and it'll be like, why is this just in my fucking head? Just in my fucking head. Yeah. It's the same thing where he was just like at a Barnes and Noble and there was a map on a wall of like the frozen north and he was just like, okay, there's a road. There's a road and now to find nonfiction erotic thrillers. Nonfiction.

You mean Penthouse Forum? Yeah, I guess so. What are the most thrilling erotic things that really happened? Perfect. So what's the what's this road called?

I think it used to connect like there must have been whatever like overarching government there is in the north, which we don't actually know anything about must have been like allies with the kingdom of Kinos back in the day and that's when this road was built was like you could just be there used to be people that had to took a lot of goods back and forth. They were known as the truckers and this is the ice road. No, it's the ice road.

It's the most the most dangerous for the most dangerous man. They were known as the trackers. So there's ice road trackers. Yeah, I think that it's a it's a profession that still exists. Yeah, they have huge blades on their giant on their. Oh, yeah, they ride the sailboats the boats that yeah, yeah on the other side of the frozen mist mountain. Yeah, yeah, I love it. Ice boats. That's what they were called. Sorry, the ice boat trackers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So if you go east, you should eventually hit this road. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what you know, but Ollie, is like I we're going to need to make repairs for sure. I either got to leave the boat here or I got to leave you here. There's a mill to the south. If you just stick to this straight and go past the end of that island there. Uh-huh. There's there used to be a mill. I don't know if it's still there. I haven't been here for a hundred years. Okay, how about I go to this mill?

You go do your thing and I'll meet you in old cheer. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense because then we have a way out in case shit goes really bad in old cheer. Yeah. Come find me in old cheer and then, you know, I'll stick around for I guess two months and then I was going to say five dollars a day plus expenses. And if I don't hear from you guys in two months, then I'll assume that you're dead. What do you say? Okay, sounds great. I want to give him some money. Do we have any? I don't think you do.

I have 20 coins. You can have that dude. Nice. Okay. Does it matter to you? This is all the money I have. No, it doesn't matter. Well, no, it did until you said it's the all. It's all the money you have. Yeah, but I don't care about money. Okay, then yeah, I'll take it. Okay, here you go. Thank you very much. You can buy a lot of donuts with that. Yeah, I'll definitely be buying donuts with it by barrels of donuts. Don't you worry? Yeah, barrel kegs and kegs full of donuts. No, dude.

And then I turned I'm kidding. I turned to Darcy. I'm like, you got to keep him sober. I will do nothing else with my power life for the rest of my life. Like I was going to die really soon. So who's coming with you? I assume I think just Perel, Maggie and all three. Well, I mean, what would Maggie and Kareem do on the boat? We could use them. We really could use. Yeah, you're going to find like a mender's vault. You probably want the mender with you. We want the menders and we want the wizard.

Well, Maggie and Kareem go and have a conversation and then Maggie comes back by herself. Cool. Well, you have to remember relapse is part of recovery. Go easy on yourself. I'm not going to drink. That's fine. If you do, it's lame. I'm never going to drink again. That's don't say that I might sometimes, but I'm not going to for a while. All right, like a week at least. Nice. And then I'll be fine. Yeah, you're a week away from the closest bar anyway.

So by the time I get there, I might not even want to drink, you know? Yeah. All right. Well, it's been real and he puts out his hand. Yeah, Billy, I ran in for a hug and instead I got slapped in the face. Oh, Billy. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. No, come here. Come here. Come here. Okay. All right. It's fine. I hug him from behind. Oh, hey buddy. You take care of yourself. I will. We'll see you in old sheer, right? See you in old sheer. Dress warm. It's cold. I will. Don't worry.

Yeah, it's really cold here. Texas wearing only a kimono. He's still wearing the kimono. Yeah. Yeah. And his loincloth. And Perel has got like full on winter clothes, like heavy cloak, pants. Where'd you get that? Oh, they're on the boat. No, I'm fine. No, come here. Billy, you're going to need something. Scoops you up and he puts you in his cloak. So he's like carrying you under his arm and you're wrapped in the fur line. Oh, okay. I'm good. Okay. Uh, well, good luck.

Tech puts out his hand to only under to shake it. Say bye. It was nice to sail with you. Hey, my pleasure. And you know what? I think that if the patron of sailors met you, he would think you were cool. Okay. Whatever you say, buddy. And he hops back on the sun runner. Have fun. Don't die. He just stands there because it's broken. I can't go anywhere yet. So, oh, we have to walk away. Oh, right. Sorry. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Okay. It's hard to know who's supposed to leave a seat. Okay.

We'll get out of here. We'll get out of here. We'll get out of here. Okay. All right, everybody. Let's try and find this road, huh? All right, Maggie. Okay, let's go. I'm going first. And she runs out. Whoa. Whoa. I instinctively chase. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And she starts running so fast. I'm running along the top of the snow. Pearl. Oh, my God. No. So far behind. I see you picking up dice. Yeah. Is it a race? I guess so. To see who gets to the outpost first.

Yeah, to fight into strength. Are we all racing? This is just a race. This is just a race. Like, you're still going to have to undertake a perilous journey. Billy, you roll for Pearl. Yeah, I'm rolling for Pearl. Yours is for wisdom or charisma to try and charm him into running faster. And you, Sean, roll for Maggie. She doesn't have stats. She's got stats now. She does. Here we go. Okay, 2d6 plus strength. Here we go. Charisma for Billy, I guess. Holy shit. I got 11. I also got 11.

I rolled a four. Whoa. But I have three strikes, so I got a seven. Oh, what? Did Tuck slip on ice immediately? Yeah, he slipped on ice and the thing happened where you land on your back and then it wins you and you think you're going to die. Oh, no. And Billy got what? Billy got an 11. And Vin got 11. And Maggie got 12. Whoa. So Tuck's so far behind. He slipped because he was making fun of Pearl, but how fucking far behind he is.

And then as Pearl is running past you and you fall down, you hear him laugh like, yeah. He's so happy. He's wheezing. He's like, and Maggie comes to like a casual, like jogging. Stop as you pass, like a stone that was in the field. She throws her arms up in the air. I did it. I'm the winner. I'm, oh, I'm the best. Still got it. Still, still got it. Still feeling. She's like slapping her thighs as she's like kicking her knees up. Strong legs. Oh my God. I got to sit down. She sits.

Um, in my fifties. I might've mentioned that at some point. I'm exceptionally tired now. And Tuck comes up with like a wheezing limp. And he's like, okay, I'm going to need to take five minutes. Cause I can't see in the middle of my field of vision. Let's just hear. And she scoots over on the rock. She's sitting on, take a seat, take a seat. Tuck sits down and Perel waddles up with Billy under his arm. Very pleased with himself that he beat Tuck. Yeah. Uh, so we just ran a bunch.

He used up a bunch of body heat and calories. And he does a quick look around and goes, I don't see an outpost. Any of you, we are in the middle of a frozen way. We can't see the shore anymore. That was probably smart of us to lose the coastline. What's that? Is that a ranger? Is it? I'm just joking, but we ran into this headlong and with no plan. And I feel like that could happen at any time. I don't like these jokes. Perel, I'm going to discern realities. Yeah, you can discern realities.

And we're also going to need to undertake. A perilous journey. Probably where we're going, but do your discern. Yeah. Eight. Okay. Yeah. So you get a, you get a point or you get a question. I could age. Cause then we can move it up to a 10. I just think it makes sense. Cause it makes sense. Like, you know, yeah, right. Yeah. Also Ving has light sight and it's very bright. Oh yeah. You're able to resolve details in the distance. Great. I got 11. Okay. Yeah.

You get three questions off the list now. What here is useful or valuable? To me? Uh, what here is useful or valuable to you? You look into the far East, uh, with your bill nocculars and though very far away, you see what looks like a tiny, tiny little dark speck in the distance with a tiny little wavering finger of smoke above it. Oh, do you see that thing? Mm. Hmm. What are your elf? I see. I can't see it like that. Does it sound racist? Yeah. What the fuck? Sorry. You're an elf. I see. I see.

Um, God. Yeah. You really hammered on that F. I did a hard F. A hard F. Do you want to pick? Two more questions. What should I be on the lookout for? Uh, you would guess probably predators. This is a pretty wide area of tundra. Do we need to find cover? Do we need to find it now? Hmm. Okay. One more question. What here is not what it appears to be? Ah, tuck. You're, uh, still, trying to breathe out the stitch in your chest. And, uh, you're looking at all the snow surrounding you.

Just like, God, so white here, everything's so white and cold. Pie is just piles of snow everywhere. Yeah. That pile of snow definitely moved. Uh, and in the distance you see like what looks, it's a living snowman guys. We're going to be rich. We're going to put them on stage and be millionaires. Uh, but yeah, there seem, there's some sort of white coated, uh, creature of some kind moving. What is it? Thing? What is this? And then I point at the shifting snow, uh, their drift leopards.

Oh, so it's just like snow white leopards. Yeah. Yeah. That live in snowdrifts. Nope. Okay. They just, they just, the way they slink around, people used to think that you're like, oh, that's just a bunch of drifting snow. And you're like, oh shit, it's a leopard. Oh shit. So there is definitely some sort of predatory cat that is like tracking you. It's tracking us. Or it's at least, at least like following you.

You know, I know a lot about leopards and you just have to make big loud sounds and look really big and like flex your arm muscles a lot and they won't really bother you. Are you thinking about cougars? Definitely. Yeah. And it didn't work cause I was always alone. I'm pretty small. So this was Billy trying to scare away the leopard. Yeah. He's like flexing his arms and he's going, Whoa, look at this gun show. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.

I was imagining you had overheard Ving and Tuck at some point talking about how they were going to pick up a bunch of cougars and we're like, just going to flex our arms at them and go look at this gun show. Mwah. Mwah. And that's merging with your memories about how to deal with big cats. That's how you get rid of cougars. Oh man. So is someone actively trying to get this thing to go away? Yeah, I will. I'll go to it. Oh, you're going to go up to it.

Well, I mean, I'm going to go out there and start talking Jaguar to it. Yeah. Leopard. Okay. Give me a defy danger. Charisma. Okay. Eight. Okay, great. So do you start approaching this, uh, drift leopard hunched over in the snow? I see you stay where you are. You want nothing of us. You'll get no thing from us. Oh, I want something of you. What do you want this boy, this tasty little boy. Oh, look at these tri dips or whatever they are on the back of my arms.

So big, especially when I squeeze them like that. Oh, this is Jessica's pinching her own triceps. Just gripping them. Yes. The boy seems to have much nourishing meat on him. I have a whole ab. He's jiggling his belly. One ab. Now, give me the meat and there will be no quarrel between us. No, you can't have this meat. I am a predator. I take the meat I desire. No, I would do when you want other meats. You can't. This is not your meat. Give me the meat. I started walking away from him.

You turn your back and you walk away. Yeah, it charges you. Cool. Yeah, shit. Great. What do you do? I don't turn it all, but because I've walked onto a very thin ice using light as a feather. Oh, so two D six plus dexterity, I believe. Yep. Come on, please. Holy shit. Yeah, I really failed that. Fuck. So we got six. Can I aid? Surely. Nine. Okay. So that makes it a seven. So you walk out onto this ice that you spotted on your way over and tuck in Billy.

You see the second thing starts walking away. This thing like bursts out of the snow and starts running at him. Bang. And just as it is like a clause length away, it falls through the ice. It's front paws flailing in the air and you hear it go. And I go like this. I go like I put my hands up to bow to to to tuck in Billy to be like, haha, sploosh, falls, you crack through, but you hear the leopard is like no, no, I'm perishing. I shall die. Surely I want to save this panther. Wow.

Yes, it's doing that thing where if a dog swims too close to you, it keeps scratching. Yeah, just calm down. Save me, meet, save me saving you. So if I imagine it, try to like get on to being like a lifeboat. Totally. There's a real Niles crane vibe to this fucking snow. Latching on to Frazier. Sorry. Try to. Yeah, he's trying to grab you. So you're trying to help the I take my sphere. That's with the with the rope. Harpoon it out onto some thicker ice and try and pull ourselves up.

Both of us to six plus strikes. Great. I got five. Oh boy. Shit. You stab the spear into the ice and tucking Billy. You saw you see this too. He stabs it into the ice and the force and the power of the unbreakable half and spear holds for a moment and the leopard latches onto your back and goes, save me, meet. Oh, I'm sorry. Save me, meet. Digs into my back. The ice breaks and you dip below the surface of the water for a moment. Shit. I talking Billy. You both see this happen.

I jump forward and I skid to the edge of the ice sliding on my exposed like a penguin. Yeah. And I plunge my hand into the water to try and grab anything. Okay. Two to six plus strength. Shit. Nine. Billy. Help. I help you. What do you need? I don't know. Moral support. Oh God. Six. I say, uh, don't worry about your bulking face. You still look great. And I turned back while he says, as he says that, which is why it doesn't work. I'm like, why would you say that? You want a compliment?

Does it look, do I look fat? No, that's why I said you look so good. And then crashes through the ice. I got a knife. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I got a knife. You do like you, you grab onto something that you assume to be Ving. The ice does crack under your weight and your face gets into the water, which is so fucking cold. Roll a D six. Okay. One. You take like one point of damage from just the sheer cold, but I have two armor.

So does that mean I get one point of health? But the nourishing power of this ice cold water heals your broken body. Now it's just going to be a little bit more difficult. I'm going to go with the ice. I'm going to go with the ice. I'm going to go with the ice. I'm going to go with the ice. I'm going to go with the ice. I'm going to go with the ice. I'm going to go with the ice. It's just cold as fuck. It's like needles in your skin. And then I turned back to be. It's cold as fuck.

And you ha and Ving is in your hand. Basically. You got a thing. And P widz runs a Maggie runs up and pushes.

And she grabs tuck by the legs and starts pulling and then I I pull ving and then I as I pull him out of the water a leopard I'm pulling a leopard yeah and I'm like the ving let go the fucking tiger I throw him down he's not breathing I start performing cpr on this tiger yeah 2d6 plus uh wisdom oh yeah nine I help uh you're gonna help how are you helping I'm helping I'm pumping the leopard's legs I was gonna say you're singing staying alive yeah but I am pumping the legs wow snake eyes roll uh roll a d8 for me do you do the thing that like michael scott does where he starts at the part where it's like you can tell by the way I walk I start way too early three as you're pushing the leopard uh legs it just kicks out with its claws and fucking rakes you across the chest for three damage he's alive but he coughs up a bunch of uh water and he's like oh give him room give him room space and he gets up onto his like he's really low crouched on the ground and he does the thing where cats are so embarrassed how skinny they actually are yeah yeah and he's shivering now because he's like freezing cold I put my wool shawl over him and he calms down a little bit um I offer him some kibbles that I'd save for myself here you go and I throw them at him just start snarfing them up nice sits for a moment looks at bing you have saved my life meat due to the laws of the tundra I now owe you a great debt what tuck is like what the I can't hear any of this I am unfortunately at your service and I accept your service finger guns that tuck and billy and he he bows his head very regally we bow to oh we bow to probably have to bow to and then it's he starts shivering and he haunches low again and lets the cloak fall over his shoulders I would partake of your bright flower which flower you have it oh oh oh oh oh a bright flower a bright flower if you have it Oh, fire.

Yes. Much like Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book, I, as an animal, do not understand that fire is a chemical reaction, but instead believe it to be some sort of object. Can we understand the… Fuck, why do I keep calling it a tiger? We've talked about how the rings… They do bestow the ability… Guys, put your rings on. Your rings are on. Rings on, everyone. Rings on. So he comes in between. Bright flower. Do you command the power of the bright flower? Hold on.

And the ring is like, does this elaborate David Copperfield, David Blaine, David… Spade. Elaborate trick. Because I still have some of the gunpowder. Oh, yeah. So I do this big thing and I have a twig that I lay down from… It's a piece of the boat. Great, excellent. We cut to the boat. And Olander's like, where the fuck is this part of the boat? The dry part that I always need. Snaps in half, puts it down the ground. I command you for the jaguar, for up, for down, for side and warmth.

Give him what he seeks. He shall be rewarded. And a fire springs to life on this wood with the gunpowder. And then Tuck walks up and he goes, yay. And I will add to this bright flower. And he takes out Olander's last bottle of whiskey and just dubs it on. Such power. Such majesty from you, meat and your meat companions. You are truly impressive and I am happy to be of your service. Good. We need something of your prowess. Ah, yes.

But first, and he gets up and he starts, he pads over to the fire. And he lays down, he falls asleep instantly. It's just that. Just dead fucking asleep. This is fine. Yeah, this is nice. I mean, I assume you can all understand what the cat is saying. It does not wish us any harm. No, we're good. Kind of help us. It does keep calling us meat, but probably fine. Probably not going to change what it has its rest. Maybe we just rest. That might be a good idea. Yeah. Take shelter against this rock.

And we can, we can do a little like our people. People are damaged, right? Tuck is kind of fucked up still. Tuck is still. Yeah. Do a communion of whispers while we're resting here. Yeah. So we can do make camp when you, you'll heal damage equal to half your max HP after a couple hours of sleep. If you're going to communion of whispers, it might not be as restful as you're hoping for, but I'm still, still valuable. So when you settle into rest, choose one party member to manage provisions.

Billy, do you want to manage provisions? You're pretty good at it now. Okay. I can do it this time. So this is the same 2d6 plus wisdom and then describe the meal. I got a 12. Then you describe your delicious meal. Tons of smoked salmon and smoked Arctic char. Holy shit. Yeah. Apparently Oleander had a ton of real food down there and he just doesn't like smoked fish. So he said we can have it all. Wow. Yeah. Cut to Oleander. Where is my smoked?

I put it right here next to all the dry parts of the boat and my whiskey. Where is my whiskey? Did we fucking rob a blind before we left? Yeah, we didn't. Sounds like you might have. I asked, I think. He was asleep at the time. I definitely, and then also a ton of like nature Valley, like granola bars stuff. Um, he definitely didn't like those. Yeah. Uh, so everybody that licks their lips gets a plus one forward. Delicious. Delicious. Y'all. Yeah. Plus one forward.

Uh, and if you're bedding down in dangerous lands, which you are decide on a watch order. Sounds like Billy is keeping watch. Tux keeping watch. Yeah. I'll go second cause I have to sleep to not be fucked up. Yeah. I'll take first watch. Okay. I'll take the third one. Okay. Excellent. Uh, and Ving, are you doing your communion? Yeah. Okay. I'll commune with the whispers cause I haven't been in this place for a while. Mm hmm.

So, uh, I'm making note of his resident experience and calling on the spirits of land. And roll plus wisdom. Be granted a vision of significance to you, your allies, and the spirits around you. On a 10 plus, the vision is clear and helpful. Seven to nine, unclear. On a miss, it's upsetting, frightening. I got 10. 10. So you, um, yeah, you sit down on the ice, drop into your meditative state, reach your senses out into the spirit realm. I haven't smelt this like fresh, crisp spirit realm cold.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Into the tundra. And you can feel rather than see this, like pulling back like this view, the scale of the frozen North, the, the rolling tundras, the crackling seas, the powerful forest that marches off into the distance. And you feel your perception like racing through this place, this home that you've left so, so long ago.

And it finally returned to ice stone. Mm hmm. To the edge of the forest, the trees towering above you, through the trees, into the woods, down paths as old as stone, and to a clearing where a man sits on a stump. And he looks up into your eyes. Hi, Dad. I'm coming for you. And he smiles. And then you wake. You think that maybe it's the spirits. Maybe it's the fact that you connected like that.

Maybe it's his network, but you have the distinct impression that your father knows that you have come home. What was the smile like? Question mark, question mark. It feels like a smile that could mean a couple things. Anyways, Billy, you're keeping watch. So you're standing on the rock. Tuck has fallen asleep. His bandages. It's showing underneath the kimono from where the cat scratched him. Ving is sitting with his legs crossed. Everybody's kind of falling asleep.

And you're standing on a rock. Eyes on the horizon. Oh, yeah. A mighty stick in your hand. Roll 2d6 plus nothing. Five. Everyone marks XP. Okay. I'm so sorry, everyone. Shit. Okay. Sorry. Wait. Could I have a plus one forward? Yeah, you could. Because you're looking lips. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you get a seven, six, six. Well, you could. You can use a one of your fairy hold. Remember to make it a seven to nine. Shit. I can. Okay. Sorry, everyone.

I'm definitely going to use a fairy child move to turn a failed rule into a seven to nine. Yeah. And we know that the luck of the fairy courses through Billy and the place around him and the camera wanders across the snow to a pack of wolves. They. Lift their noses to the wind and they sent a delicious little boy standing on a rock. Wow. And they start walking and the second the leader of the pack puts his mighty paw on the snow and the ice underneath them cracks and they all fall into a cave.

Is that actually true? Often the distance it happens. The luck of the fairy protects you this night. But. So I just want to make sure, like in my head, I'm right. Are we in a tundra or is there like forest in the distance? I think we're close to the edge of the forest. So there's like a bit of cover and stuff and then. Yeah. Right. But it is. But it. Tundra head sort of. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought too.

But the great force is still quite a distance, but there's like smatterings of stuff between. Yeah. It's sort of like how a force will thin out as it gets. Yeah. Yeah. And I think the place where we're camped is like there was a big rock that we ran to and then we're just like conquered up against it. Yeah. And Billy standing on top of the rock. Yeah. Powerfully. Like a little moonrise kingdom up there. Yeah. He's doing karate. Yeah. I'm just like keeping limber, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

And actually the wolves, they approach and they go. Delicious boy. And then they see you doing karate and they go. Oh, never mind. Let's get out of here. And they go as they run into the distance. All right, we're going to do a discovery, which means we're going to roll some dice. Okay. Everybody roll a d12. For two to. Okay. And this is not anything that you have to investigate, but you're standing on your rock doing your karate to make sure that everybody knows that you can't.

Be fucked with and you're looking at the rock like you kind of trip a little bit. Uh-huh. And I say myself, it's okay, Billy. No one saw that. There's like an eagle in the distance. Be like, hey, that could trip. Single bird high in the sky. He goes. Oh my God, so embarrassing. You just hear. Oh God, that bird's home. No, and you're from where you're sitting. Now, you're looking at the rock. And oh, this kind of looks like there's like carving on it. Almost. Oh, yeah, of course.

I'm going to look at it. Yeah, and then it's you go to where the carving is and it's kind of like if the rock is jutting up out of the ground, like a little bit of this carving is visible and comes out of the ground at like a 45 degree angle. Oh, I take the stick. I'm waving around. I start digging. Yeah, and the dirt Falls inward. Oh, like a cave some sort of chamber. Who's a no one else is awake. No, not a single soul. Do I wait? It's right there. It is right there.

Maybe I just go a little bit. I just make sure. Yeah, just make sure I can still see them. Kind of if you go in you will not be able to see them like they're on the other side. All right. Like they're out of sight basically. I'm going this cave. It's don't say anything if it's okay. Thanks. That's exactly what I do. Yeah, silence. Give me an implicit. Okay to go in this hole because you didn't stop me. I'm going into the cave. I will be back very soon. So you shove yourself into this hole.

It's pitch black inside. Of course. Yeah, I take out my willow the wisp. Yeah, a little tinkling Bell. Uh-huh. Harold's the arrival of the cat that is made of light and it begins walking. It just kind of circles around you and reveals like it's a combination of actual worked stone and then like dirt that has fallen into this entryway over. However many years can I read anything that's engraved? No, nothing.

That's like fairy like it's definitely there is language here, but more of the like I can't read this language than anything. But there's just a sweet beckoning cave before you. Oh my God, definitely not going to wake up anyone that could help right now or stop you from doing this. Well, I think they would like if I dug out some of the dirt. They probably really like that. You're just going to start digging out the entrance. Yeah, Billy is an idiot. 2d6 plus strike. Okay.

Eight you start digging out whole like just dirt. You're like taking handfuls of dirt and pushing it. Behind you deeper into the hole. If you actually want to dig this out at all, you're so small in the dirt is so big that it'll probably take you the better part of the night. That's fine. I know Perel will carry me many hours past of you scooping like tiny little handfuls of dirt down to this ancient hole and eventually the sun rises on the tundra. Which one of you wakes up first?

Definitely thing because I am still shit house from like the last few days. I'm fucking stuff that's happened. Yeah, totally. So then you wake up out of your elven meditation. You look to the rock Billy's nowhere to be silly that wakes me up. Tuck is up in a heartbeat. Yeah, like jackknife. I do a sitting position over the rock. I could have went around it easier. I'm over top of the rock. He's nowhere. I can't see him. I see the hole. Yep, Billy's in the hole. I run a hole again.

Tuck is run around the rock. He's like, oh God, not a hole again. What does it say in the rock discern realities? Wait, okay. So you get one question off to certain realities. Who's really in control here? Oh, that's a cool one. Yeah, that's an interesting way to do it. You look at this stone and you have the same realization that Billy did especially now that more of the rock is revealed. This isn't a rock at all. This seems to be an entrance to some sort of structure.

You see writing that seems elvish but of an older older style and you remember vaguely from your academic lessons as a prince of the boreal reach that. This is a dialect that was used by the dark elves. Whoa, fuck fuck. Yeah, when big tells me that fucks tucks just like fuck word. I jump in. Yeah, you slide into this hole. It's not, you know, it's not too small for you to get into. Okay, and you see the same thing that Billy did combination of work stone and old dirt.

Although the dirt has been moved around in a way that suggests it's very fresh, but it's like, you know, when a cat kicks dirt like after it takes a shit. Yeah, there's just little. Piles here and there as the dirt was moved around. There's some Billy's clothes laid around. He clearly was getting clearly. He was getting sweaty. So yeah, his little capes on the ground. God being things. He's frozen to death. Someone is taking off his clothing.

Oh, he is the first or last stage of hypothermia is what Texas. Oh my God. What? Oh my gosh, what ability comes out? He's naked. So sweaty and funny. Oh my God, my stick. What am I? What is going on? What the hell is going on in this big hole over here? It's a house or something. It's a tomb of a dark elf. It's a tomb. Oh, so I'm digging up a dead body. It's a tomb. What do you mean? And Pirell's looking at the writing on the wall. What do you mean? It's a tomb. What here says tomb?

I mean, I just I can't read exactly but I know that they used to bury the elf scouts out in different spots. They said that the spirits of the elves. Could still watch over them. Oh, yeah, they used to bury them like kind of like close to the coastline so that they'd watch over the land forever. Mm-hmm. They're like ancient like forever watchtowers. Yeah, Texas. Yeah, I've heard this too as he's like putting Billy back into his pants. He's like leg leg.

No, you put them in the same leg other leg. I don't have a poem. My pants. I think I go I'm tired. You didn't even say thank you. Look all the work. I did. Oh God, he's gonna be like this all day. So grumpy. Right now. I throw my stick down. No appreciates me here. Billy. We appreciate you. We just don't even freeze to death. I'm so hot. So sweaty above. I get it. You just you just want to find all the new stuff and not include me. What is this? I'm going to find my own hole. Billy.

No, just outside the entrance starts digging a hole in the snow. Take my own tomb and I'm going to die here. Nobody wants me around. Okay, I should stay right back at hibernia. Billy's in a real like just before everybody goes to the airport and home alone kind of mood right living alone. Yeah, before he scampers outside. I do shove his shirt back on and you're shoving it over all the dirt that he definitely got covered in. He's just the filthiest little kid right now. Fine. It's fine.

It's okay. You pick your battles. His parents rather have him dig his own tomb than explore this one. And yeah, and you have this open tomb before you. I want to look around.

Okay, so you go down and you find eventually there's an end to it like goes down and then angles and then down and then angles and then down and the dirt eventually gives way to carbon stone stairs and you see tons of dark elf writing a few embossed like images of archers on mighty elk and horses and battles long since ended Billy. Come here. Look at this. Are you here? Billy's like grumpy stomps down the stairs. Stopping so loud and it's really caroling and carrying in the echoey chamber.

What is it? Look move this the Sun Torch around follow the story written in the tomb. This is an old tomb. Yeah, it's like is it a winter war to you? So you carry. On down the stairs. Okay, and you find eventually the chamber that Vang believes to be the tomb itself. How did dark elves inter their dead sarcophagi or yeah frozen. Oh just frozen like solid. Yeah, like almost like freeze-dried. I guess mummified. Yeah, cool.

So there's a slab of stone in the middle of the chamber and laying on it with bow and sword and armor. Is a like a flash frozen corpse of a dark elf on a grave rob this guy's. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm definitely going to yeah. What's here? That's cool. Yeah, well discern reality for coolness. He six plus wisdom. Why do you guys are tomb robbing with such vigor only one of you supposed to roll this okay, you said all of you guys. Yeah, we can all have something. I just said roll discern reality.

I mean you all picked up your time. Okay, who got the highest role? I didn't roll yet. 10. Nice. I got eight. I didn't wait. I got nine. So I didn't roll. I didn't roll. What'd you get? I got well, Jessica spoke first. Luckily. Yeah, no, that's not how it works guys. I'm going to aid you. Oh perfect. Beautiful. So that makes it a 10. You got three questions off the list sick. What here is not what it appears to be. I think left to right head to foot is the dark elf.

They're laid out as you approach you see them from the side and on the other side. The other side of them is what looks to be a maybe seven and a half eight foot tall representation of dark elf Warrior. Whoa done in stone and wood and looks like maybe even ice like permanently frozen. Ice is a part of this construction. Whoa, it's called iron ice up here. Oh, permafrost basically. Yeah. Hell yeah. So there's yeah, it's stone and wood and iron ice and Billy.

You look at it with a memory like inkling at the edge of your brain and then all of a sudden you have this horrid flash of legions of these things storming through the woods storming across the ice cutting down fairies left and right and you fall back in terror. This is a dark elf war golem. Oh and it is inert for now. We got close this up. I close up right now. Why Billy? There's a lot of good shit in here.

No, but that's war golem and and I I remember those what are there the scariest they kill everything is this like from the winter war? Yeah, and it's not dead or anything if it wakes up. It's okay. Can't hurt you. Oh, I can I want to walk up to it and destroy it. No, no, no, no, no. Okay. Okay, we can get out of here Billy. Okay. You do have two more questions if you want to use them. What is valuable or useful to me here?

I would say Ving would probably notice this because you've seen like for the lack of a better term like museums exhibits like historical artifacts from the winter war field trips like dark elf stuff and the weapons and armor that this elf is wearing are of exceptional make you know that they would be worth a small fortune. Yeah, but would it wake the golem up? I don't think it's worth it. Exactly. Can we spell or what wakes a golem a dark elf goal? Yeah, totally 2d6 plus intelligence.

10 Wow get as important as the custom of burying their scouts was to the dark elves protecting the tombs of the dead was equally important. You would guess that messing with this body or this tomb in any way would activate the golem including robbing it. Yeah, that's the main way. Yeah, including closing the entrance forever. No, you do you think that leaving in peace and closing it behind you would probably be fine. Yeah, I can kind of just collapse the tunnel on our way out Billy.

Should we just collapse the tunnel and call it a day get the fuck out of here. Okay. Okay. I picked Billy up and I put him up on my shoulder. What else should we ask? What should I be on the lookout for? I see him. What should you? On the lookout for I think something that Billy you're trying to remember is stories of the golems and like how they work.

You can't quite remember if they are pure machinery if they're activated by the soul like if they're operated by the souls of the dead basically or if this is like magic or spirit or what so you might want to be on the lookout for if this thing is truly inert or if it has only like not been. Awoken, you know what I mean? Like if it's like the operating mechanism is truly gone just by the nature of magic no longer existing.

What if it's a thing where the mind of the dead elf is connected to the golem and it's always watching out of the eyes of the golem. So like the whole time we've been in here. It's been watching us. That's how it knows if you've messed with it. Yeah, but the tomb at all is just waiting. My God. Yeah. So it's like we're not fucked up because it's chosen not to. Act. I like that. Yeah, Billy.

That's what you know is, you know, that the only reason that it hasn't destroyed you is because it's chosen not to. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Things like look at it. The eyes like follow you around the room. It looks like they follow you. That's so creepy. Actually. Yeah. Now that we know that you guys are just going to leave this place kind of in peace. What a dark elves look like I assume much like the elves of the of the great forest, but maybe with some. Oh, we said their eyes are all black pupil. Yeah.

It's a people. Because it where they live is so shadowed by the forest. That's like almost dark down there. Yeah, they're like a cat in. Yeah, and zoom mode. Yeah, maybe because they're not able to rely on sight as much their ears are longer because they have to rely more on sound. They stick out a bit more. Yeah, they kind of look more like rabbits like their ears. Go straight way further up. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And then it could be also the that's part of the reason why they didn't like mesh.

Well with the other. Elves because the other elves like they're very human like and they emote and stuff these elves like you know how like certain animals like translate emotion by like how their ears move. Of course. So it's like they were usually when you'd interact with them. They'd be like expressionless and you'd be like this guy's a fucking creep. Right? Yeah, but there's just a bunch of like physical cues that other elves couldn't pick up on. Yeah. Yeah, like a horse.

Are they very pale because of their living in the shade, right? That makes sense. Very very pale. I think yeah, because I think thing is quite pale. Maybe because of his mother, but I think that elves in the forest are like a little bit darker skin because they spend so much time like outside and bright light. Whereas the dark elves, of course, are much much paler. Yeah, and their armor and weapons. What do we think about that?

Hmm, because I think that the Golem was crafted to resemble the elf that it watches over. So it looks almost identical to the I think it's ironwood iron iron iron eyes like just all like everything there. Dark wood there. So bows are all dark you or something. Ebony or something like that. I'm imagining that like the style is like layers of scales like scale mail kind of stuff, but they're all carved to resemble like leaves. Whoa, it's like overlapping leaf armor.

It also be a good way to camouflage to like in the wind. They would want to have it move naturally. Right? Totally very light, but many layered armor. Yeah, I like that a lot. And then yeah, he's got a bow gripped like in his hands and the bow is just. Thing as an as an on again off again Archer. It's just the most beautiful bow you've ever seen in your life. I know. Yeah, and Perel and Maggie are walking around just like Perel is standing right in front of the Golem.

Just like looking in its eyes looking at the construction without getting too close. Of course, he knows he's got his hands up and behind his head being like I'm not I'm not touching you. I just want to look Maggie is looking at the armor salivating. I mean we could just dude. No, this thing is awake. All right, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm my eyes are bigger than my stomach. It wants us to take it. Yeah, gotcha. All right.

Well, then I guess we're just closing up this tomb full of ancient armor and weapons forever. Maybe if you're really hurting for it, you can borrow my chainmail shirt and silver grieve. No, I'm fine. I don't even want it anymore. I got it from the tomb of the moon goddess. I've got my own stuff. Is it 40 years old? Yeah, does it work? No. Do I wear it? Sure. Do you want this? I don't even keep your fucking armor. I don't care. I'll Maggie. Do you only want stuff? You can't have Maggie.

Are you clearly I'm not ready to answer that question. I'm not ready in a lot of ways to answer that question. I'm going to go outside. I'm going to go back up and start packing up camp. See how that cat's doing. Oh shit. Cut outside and the cat has its whole head inside. Perel's backpack and it's just like chomping on whatever he can get his hands on meat meat meat meat and Perel G. You just hear Perel like whispering to himself like oh my God, just a base.

It's fucking taking rubbings of the wall like Indiana Jones. Yeah, it's oh my God. This is incredible. This thing is me points at the Golem. I never had I was never much for our canix, but God damn this thing is fucking impressing at it. It doesn't don't that's rude. Okay. All right. Wait, this was built by an Arcanic. Well, I mean not strictly. Yeah, it's too look here and he like points again or he he points. He looks at Vang goes.

I'm sorry eyes wide and he curls it to one knuckle and he points with his knuckle. Look at look here. None of this inside is cogs or machinery at all. It's just musculature like bone like joints regular the they must operate in some way. They just bless them function like an artificial body. They say they're made out of parts of old elves. That's fucking awesome. It's necromancy. Yeah, and in a way that's what that's what like the dirty rumor is and tuck goes.

This is a lot like the Bruce Willis movie surrogates. Oh my God, it's like surrogates. That's what I was thinking about. I was trying to I thought kept thinking the island, but that's the Ewan McGregor one. Yeah, no, I'm with the corpses. Yeah, not the same. Okay, we closing it up. Yeah, Billy's already like doing the scooping trying to fill it up back. Oh yeah.

Yeah, and where we cut to the outside of the tomb entrance and Perel goes, hey, what the fuck and he runs over to his bag and he the leopard turns around and goes like snarls at him. So he just watches it happen as he said. He's sorry. Oh, okay. Well, he's still doing it. So and how are you closing it up? I just take TLC. And I just. Like smash the front door closed. Yeah, and it only takes a few smashes and the entrance collapses in on itself.

A particularly large slab of the roof settles in place and then Billy I imagine goes around and throw some dirt on it. Yeah, and all the cracks are sealed up Billy. What you have to tell us before you dig a secret hole. I didn't know and you're all asleep. It's okay. It we don't mind. We won't get angry. If you wake us up when we've told you that. So many times, you know how much more angry it makes us when you do something and not wake us up, but you don't get it.

How good the whole looked how fun it looked to like go digging and all the secret writing on it. I bet you would have wanted to dig the hole to we know what it's like to want to dig a hole. Yeah, like I love getting in a hole, but we do it as a family. Yeah, we do it together. We climb into the hole together. Not you by yourself in the middle of the night. Surrounded by golems and dark elves and I I say, okay, I promise.

I'm not going to dig any more secret holes in the night and Pirell is standing there and he's holding his hand which is bleeding. What happened to you? The cat bit me. This is an ancient land where the Legends run deep and dangers are a plenty. We must stay vigilant. And we look at his backpack. That is like the cat is left it alone and there's a Dirk Adventureman, but have you been using beef jerky as a bookmark again? It just keeps the pages.

So Chris now, if you'll excuse me, I believe that this is becoming infected and yeah, Pirell goes to tend to his hand and Maggie is standing next to you and says, all right, so I guess we just we pack up and we head towards the outpost or whatever. That is over there. Yeah, let's do it. Okay, and you spend a few minutes grabbing your stuff kicking dirt on the fire. We have wait before we go. I want to go the snow leopard and tell him that it's time to pay his blood debt. Ha wonderful.

I do not plan on being with you for very long. So the sooner I can repay my debt to you the better the time has come. I need your skills of sneaky. Ah, yes. I am a master of. Stealth of the quiet arts and I am happy to do it flashback to you loudly falling through ice. Well, that was a trick a cunning ploy splashing around dragging me down with them crying for help fight for survival. Yes. That is how I remember it as well as more of a just a dying for survival. Okay. All right.

What do you want? Well Pantera, I'm sorry. What did you just call me the name I made up for you Pantera. That's as good as meat. That is true meat bestow upon me my sacred task. I require your wonderful sneaky abilities your prowl prowl ass. I am as stealthy as the night and as quiet as the night. You see that hut up there. Yes, the outpost. Aha. Well, we need to see it too, but you first I need you to be our eyes and so you wish me to return.

And report what I find no need because Ving has marked him mark mark of the Beast. Oh, I the tiger. I marked the animal when I did the CPR. I have the Pantera very nice sweet. So he bows low. I bow lower. He bows so fucking dig a hole. I'm getting below the bow. He starts burrowing underground. This is a ritual. This is we've finished packing up and we're watching this happen and we're going what the fuck is happening?

Like, should we put the rings on let's not bother and then eventually you see tuck Ving is so deep in the snow that the cat just huffs away. Ah, I am nicer than you. I know and I have been bested meat. I shall return on the morrow. Thank you. Or like a couple hours. Bye. Be safe. Me runs off into the snow and tech is like what the fuck I marked him. He's going to go check out the outpost. So we don't have. To now that's smart because then your dad spies won't find us right?

Well, hopefully not like a gun powder whiskey fire. I have a bill into the sky. I would say that's a big that's a big problem for sure and you, you know, you continue on the trek across the snow as Pantera heads off into the into the distance watching through his eyes. He approaches the structure, which resolves itself.

To be to your eyes a collection of maybe six to eight buildings based on the smoke that you can see, but so it's surrounded by a tall stone wall and it appears to be some sort of like outpost trading post just like a way station along the ice road where trekkers stop and pick up goods or rest and he runs around the side sticking to the bushes and behind crates his stealth.

Incredible and comes around the side to like the road side of it and you see a couple humans just like chatting with each other next to a cart. He sniffs and you can smell through his nose like cooking meat stews soups like on the road. There's basically a big wooden door one is open and through it. You can see people milling about doesn't seem like there's a ton of folks but right on the post. There's like a mess.

It's a message board next to the entrance to the place and you see through his eyes a poster that says wanted underneath is your face and that's where we're going to end it for this week. Nice little fuck around episode. Thanks for joining us everybody. I'm your game master. Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome. The Barbarian Abdul Aziz so long everybody playing being the half half druid Paul offers take care guys playing fat Billy the halfling thief. Just get. Bye everyone.

Thank you to Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music. You can find Aaron's album healthy at Aaron Reid dot band camp.com. Aaron's an incredible musician as you well know. So check out his stuff. Thank you to our supporters around the world for supporting the show. If you want us to sports bout lore, you can find us at spelt Lord comm slash money, please or patreon.com slash Spout Lore where your donations will get you things like a bonus campaign bloopers. Outtakes and bloopers.

Yeah, and a whole bunch of other shit merchandise postcards writing bunch of cool stuff. So check that out at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or speller.com slash money, please. See you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost baby for times of rest in revelry. And though. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution.

Turn next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you. I gladly spelt. There. There.

Hi everyone, it's Fat Billy here. Thanks for coming to listen to our podcast. If you want more podcasts, you can go to patreon.com slash spoutelore, where you can give us some money. And I like money, so I can buy snacks. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in bread. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Hello everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hi there. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica. Good to have you. Hello. When last we left our heroes, they had been delivered the judgment of Hibernia's Oval Council. Kill the man known as the Ranger King, or forfeit your own life.

The party then hit the beach and spent a long time trying to figure out how to get out of a thing that had not been declared yet. In classic Spout Lore fashion, how do we get out of the rules that we don't even know yet? We met Bartholomew. Theodore Tiddlywinks II. Esquire. Esquire.

A quote-unquote lawyer slash barrister, end quote, who said that, you know, he wasn't sure that he could help you, but he'll take some notes and he's got, you know, he's going to start working on a plan to potentially get you out of this gash that has been laid upon Ving's brow alone. Mm-hmm. Billy made a quick visit to a cave that existed on the shore of Hibernia, which appears to hold. Many memories and many mementos from Billy's eternal past. A little home.

Home away from, well, a home at home to visit when he comes home. Billy was feeling very strongly about having to leave Hibernia. It was so sad. It was so sad. Yeah. Jessica cried. I know, I didn't mean to. That was maybe the best acting we've ever done on the podcast. I would say. Okay, so the gash was applied. Kill the man known as the Ranger King in two moons time, or you can do it. Kill the man known as the Ranger King in two moons time, or you can do it.

Kill the man known as the Ranger King in two moons time, or you can do it. Your life is forfeit. The party left Hibernia, packed up the Sunrunner. Tuck made an impassioned plea to the green speaker druid, Savarna, throwing her a small bale of hay after summoning a large portion of the villagers of Hibernia with a Ving-enhanced scream of her name. Yeah. I mean, a plea is maybe a strong, maybe too strong in terms of what I did. I mean. Because I wasn't asking for anything. Not on the outside. No.

On the inside. You were begging, pleading, please love me. And you know what? She didn't. Or at least lust me. And in that way, all of Tuck's actions could be considered impassioned pleas. And then the party headed off. The Sunrunner sailed away into the gray once more, traveling through its impenetrable mists until. Reaching from a stone jutting out of the ocean. Stone. I. Who said that he doesn't care what the council says.

You have broken the accords of the island and he will visit his wrath upon you in due time. And then Tuck and Ving sat with Billy as he hid his tearful face in his anger at leaving Hibernia before being presented with a mimic moth in a cage containing images of his island home. And that is where we find our next episode. We find our next episode. We find our heroes now traveling through the gray. How's everybody been doing? I think it's maybe been a day of sailing slow going.

All he's trying to keep it real tight because you don't have guides this time. So he's just trying to plot his way through. He also, I think, is like aware. He doesn't know it's Jonah is planning. I think we're all kind of like, yeah, he could be anywhere living under the pall of that potential threat. So we're like, what the we got to get out of here as quick as possible and onto dry land. No problem. Towards the edge of the gray. Oh, really? Thank you. Keep on keeping on. Just go to that.

Just leave the fog. That's why didn't I think about that? He rakes his hand across the bow of the boat. Oh, is that where I'm going? Ollie seems more stressed than he's been this whole time. He's glancing over his shoulder. There's a lot of like beer bottles clanking around on the ground. You're wondering like where he got all this beer from. Billy's catching in them and nets as a game. Yeah. He's just tossing them over his shoulder into the water. So I guess. Yeah.

Is there anything in particular that the gang has pursued or talked about that we want to cover in the last day? I think we had like a dinner like a dinner. Maybe we like talked about our plans for when we get there. Well, then let's manage provisions, baby. Okay. What is that? That's the other move where we make dinner. Oh. Oh, cool. Dinner time. Who's making dinner? Yeah. Billy. I think we're all. We should all do it. That's fun. Well, someone's got a role. Oh, Billy, you roll. Yeah.

I'll do prep. Okay. Billy suggests we make a family dinner. Yeah. And we feel bad because we told him that moth was going to die. We were just like, sure. Yeah. Whatever you say. Because after he left, we were like, I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have told him that. I shouldn't have reminded him that everything dies. So a roll plus anything. Wisdom. Uh, 12. Wow. Beautiful. It's a great. On a. Holy shit.

I mean, I already know what one you're going to choose, but on a 10 plus, choose one from the list below. Careful management reduces the amount of rations consumed. Ask the GM by how much or the party consumes the expected amount of food and the food you prepare is excellent. Describe it. And everyone who licks their lips takes plus one forward. As if anyone would pick the not. I know. Yeah, exactly. Of course you would pick that.

I'm not even going to tell you what the second one is anymore because the other one's the most fun. Yeah. Yeah. We all want to lick our lips at each other. Okay. Yeah. Let's hear it. What kind of meal do you make? Um, we're making like a macaroni and cheese with hot dogs because that is what Oleander has on board. Yeah. He's like, no, it's the perfect meal because the macaroni is dry already. So it keeps for a long time and the hot dogs are already cooked. Like they're smoked.

So they stand, they keep for a long time too. I've had these hot dogs for three and a half years. But the cheese is the hard thing to make. Yeah. Yeah. The cheese is not so good. We can use sea cheese. What's sea cheese? It's a foam that gathers on the shores of the North after a storm. Cool. It's like a byproduct of, um, an algae. I'm sorry. This, I'm not making it sound good, but trust me, it's fucking delicious when you mix it with hot dogs.

I mean, the only other option is like this old bread that looks cheese flavor. Like a blue cheese. It's, uh, it's not cheese flavored, but it is technically kind of cheese now. We can put our hands together. Yeah. So where do you get this sea cheese from? You said it is on the shore. Back flips off the side of the boat. B-I-B. And where, so where does Ving go to get this cheese? Just along the shore. They're along the shore. So we can see. He just finds a shore. Yeah.

There's like a little alcove, you know. Gotcha. We have to wait for slack tide, of course. Then I come back with a, like a, a net, empty net. And then I hold it. I'm like, I'll be right back. Come back with a bladder full of cheese. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, so you throw it in the macaroni and hot dogs. Yeah. And powdered bread cheese. Yeah. I'm like crumbling the bread with my hands.

It's because it's so hard. And I'm like, Tuck, you can cut the hot dogs and I'll make the cheese. I do that. I take the waning knife and I'm like- You're cutting hot dogs with the waning knife. I love it. And I'm like, this is what it's for, dude. Is it? Is it? Chuck says that to the ghost of chives. Yeah. He makes spider dogs. Nice. Oh, hell yeah. Everybody loves spider dogs. He's like, Billy, look. Whoa. It's like a, I don't know what that looks like. Spider. Oh. So good.

I thought you were going to say he makes porn scorpion dogs. That's so funny. I'm going to do that now. Spider dogs and porn scorpion dogs. Can I roll to see how much it looks like a porn scorpion? I don't know why you would. What is it plus? I don't know. Dexterity, I guess. Dexterity. Zero. So nine. Beautiful. It looks pretty much like they both kind of look the same, but depending on what you say it is, you can kind of see it, you know, his eyes widen. Oh, they look too good.

I want to fuck this hot dog now. And Billy's getting really sweaty with the bread. So it's kind of turning into like a cheese. Oh, it's not so gross. When I make the potions. Wait, you use your sweat to make the potions too? Yeah. When I make golden root. Oh, gross. Billy. You make friends with the heck? Yeah. Where else? What else am I going to use? Yeah, you're right. Like regular water? Ugh. It doesn't taste the same. No, there's no shame in using the juice that falls out of your body, buddy.

No body issues in this family, right? Body juice. Delicious. So here was what we've got. Macaroni and porn scorpion hot dogs with mushy bread that is turned into sweat cheese. Yeah. And I did add a handful of paprika and a handful of salt. That saved it. Those are the only two spices that Oleander has. Like we opened the spice cabinet and we're like, wow, this guy is so divorced. It's crazy. There's so many different jars of different sizes and everything, but all of them have either salt.

Or paprika. Or paprika. Yeah. I can't taste any other spices, so I just use these ones. And then on top of that, coastal sea cheese. Yeah, what's stirred into. Stirred in, making a gloppy, cheesy. It looks kind of cheesy. It looks good. It looks good. Oh, and what are these? And I go in the corner of the pantry and there's like a bunch of dried chilies, like whole chilies. And I grab six of them. Oh, dude. I put them in the pot. What?

Now Billy slips it in there just before everybody starts eating. Yeah. Wow. So every once in a while, someone gets a whole chili and just goes. You can't hear it, but everybody's licking their lips. Just go look. Holy shit. Are my lips weird? No, it's just weird seeing so much of them. No, I just never see your lips. Especially your upper lip, because your mustache covers it all. And you're kind of pulling it up right now. Yeah. Okay, get ready. I'm going to lip. I'm going to lip.

We're going to lick this thing for all of us. I choose the non-licking lip. I'm going to take a picture of this so everybody can see Abdul's upper lip. So everybody gets plus one forward to their next roll for this delicious family meal, which even if the food didn't come out exactly like you were hoping, the bonding experience has raised your spirits. Definitely not hygienic, though. No. Well, I mean, it's just your sweat, Billy. No. You can't be hygienic. There is a lineup at the head.

There is a lineup at the head. Yeah. Yeah. Which is, of course, a hole that goes straight into the water. Yeah. But it is getting much use. Amazing. So that was, you know, that was a nice kind of afternoon, evening experience that everybody had. You guys are just sitting around on the deck. The light starts to dim in the gray. Lamps begin to be lit on the deck of the ship. We have a brazier that has like an iron bottom so you can have a fire on the deck. Yeah. That's nice. That's nice.

So you're all sitting around a little fire pit on the deck of the ship. As you sail through the gray. Yeah. So, okay. This is Perel speaking. He's rubbing his hands in front of the fire. I have a question. Do you think it has to be me that needs to kill the Ranger King to fulfill the gash? What were the, what was the words exactly?

And Bartholomew walks up with his clipboard and goes, uh, the words exactly were kill the man known as the Ranger King in two moons time or your life will be offered instead. They didn't say it. They didn't say it specifically though. No, I guess. Yeah, I guess not. Uh huh. Also something that I noticed me, Bartholomew, Theodore Tiddlywinks, the second Esquire, uh, actually reminds me of, uh, Monroe versus Monroe. Yes.

Uh, this was another case that I took in black and black glass where a man had driven his cart through the front of a taco place. And I was able to determine that because it was a horse drawn carriage that actually the horse was driving. This was legally responsible and not the man. He got off scot-free. They killed the horse. The horse was hanged by the neck until it was dead. Uh, but trust me, that horse deserved it.

That horse had a record as long as my left arm, which is slightly longer than my right. Anyways, this reminds me of Monroe versus Monroe in the way that it is not quite similar, but there was a technicality involved. They said kill the man known as the Ranger King. It's true. Not kill your father, Dathaniel, whatever. So what if we just get someone else to be the Ranger King? Uh-huh. Or we find a different Ranger King. Okay. And.

Or perhaps there's something to be said for the, um, the symbolic death of the Ranger King, quote unquote. Perhaps if you were able to in some way abolish the monarchy. Right. Or, um. Yeah, we could definitely do that in two months. That sounds easy. I like the way you're thinking. How many years has the kingdoms in the boreal reach existed for? So many years. Like so many. Ving got one of the chilies. Sorry, my lips are numb. Many, many years. Yeah. You like easily. Yeah.

Thousands, thousands and thousands. So we have two months to destroy a monarchy potentially that has lasted for a year. Yeah. That sounds slightly harder than regicide. I mean, if you've, have you ever regicided before? Is this your first one? Maggie? Me? Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. I've done it. Okay. I did it one time. And what'd it feel like? Oh, uh, well, killing always feels bad. I'm sure you're aware of that, but, um, this one felt worth it. We're eating craft dinner. Yeah.

She's also eating craft dinner. Yeah. Yeah. I think you'll find that it is, uh, difficult, but worthwhile. Endeavor. Was any of them your father figure or no, no, no. But if I had the opportunity to kill my father, I think I probably would have done it. If you know, if you know what I mean, any tips or tricks, Maggie?

Well, actually one, one thing that I have found has been useful in the past is, um, the worst time to attempt to, uh, destroy a monarch of any kind is when they have the support of their people at their back. Hmm. So if you can find a way to maybe turn some of his allies against him, that might make your job a little easier. Okay. So we're back into abolishing the monarchy maybe. Or just deposing him. Yeah. Or just killing your dad. Yeah. You know, I've been thinking on that for many years.

Yeah. Do you, do you want to kill him? No, I don't anymore. I don't feel that I want to. Maybe when I meet him, maybe he'll want to kill me. I have no idea what to expect. Did he for sure kill your mom? Is that why? No one's ever told me that it was him, but I know it was him. I don't know how I know. Well, and this is Perel. If, um, if you share your mother's memories as being created from her, I mean, maybe you have a memory of him killing her. After I was born? Maybe. You think that maybe.

My memories are linked to hers even after we were separated. I mean, we're all, we're all treading new water here. I don't see why it's impossible. Have you ever tried to commune with the spirit of your mother? No. Would you ever try it? Yeah. I mean, I've never thought of communing with her as a place. I'll try. I'll try and talk to her sometime. Okay. So then, uh, the other part of the plan is we're, I mean, two months. That's not nothing.

We don't know how far it is from here to Addernax tower. But we also do know that Shia said that as soon as we got to the frozen North, Dathaniel would be on us pretty much right away. So the plan is go to the North and just rely on him coming to you. Yeah. We can also like bait him too. How? Uh, I don't know. By being generally, I mean, if we're also going to go for, uh, deposing him, we could start a political movement as soon as we land on shore. Interesting. Interesting theory.

Billy, you're the trap expert. How would you bait him out? Oh, I mean, I would just talk amongst the guards and, uh, see if, uh, they have any hot gossip to share and, uh, maybe like, I don't know, see if they know where he is. Oh yeah. That would be a good way to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, probably, you know, there are probably weird little kids everywhere. Perfect. That's all I need. Okay.

Then I guess just business as usual until we get to, ah, stone eyes, stone eyes. Where? Where? No, no, no, no. It's okay. Oh my God. He's, but he's, he's going to be picked up one of the empty beer bottles and threw it, smashes it on the side of the railing. Come at me. Come get me, Pitt. Uh, so yeah, he's around here somewhere. Presumably will be a problem at some point, but. You know, stone eyes is a huge pussy. Uh, I'm sorry I swore. Uh, he's not going to do anything yet.

I'd like to see him try. Yeah. I think he is afraid of the council. I think he is like, there's a lot of bluster there. I think he might wait until you like violate the gash. You know what? I have a feeling he might come in handy. What about the glacier? What are we going to do when we hit Addernecks tower? I ask Perel. Um, yeah. Try. What are we looking for?

Well, I mean, I never saw Addernecks tower, but, uh, tower is sort of like a, um, more an industry term than a descriptor of the structure itself. Uh huh. So I don't know exactly what we're going to be looking for, but it might be. I think I always heard that Addernecks was like inside the glacier itself as opposed to like something built on top of the glacier. Like the tower quote unquote might be the glacier. Ooh. It goes below the sea, the water, like an iceberg, how there's more.

Maggie, do you like the menders set up a vault there, right? Oh yeah. That is right. Yeah. It's a hotspot and that's why we know about it. Cause there's a vault there. So the vault was built in a disused tower, apparently previously owned by Addernecks all water or built by or whatever. So I know that it is inside. The glacier. I know that there is at least one object kept there, a ward stone box, potentially with a wizard inside.

The only thing is that I have not been in contact with the cell in the frozen North in that area for quite some time. How long? Uh, eight years. Oh, so I don't know the state of the tower. I don't know what to expect when we get there. I don't know if anything that I knew about it previously is even still true. Do you know what happened? Well, I haven't heard. I haven't heard from them for nine years. Well, I mean, not for any particular reason.

It's just the nature of the menders is we don't stay in contact terribly often unless we need to. Right. It's like a disparate network or whatever. Yeah. I only know of the cells and I really only know their leaders, the one in the North and the one in the Blacktree principality where the other box potentially exists. Who is the leader of the North cell? That's a great question, which I of course know the answer to. I haven't told you that.

I know the leader of this cell and that leader's name is Matawan. He's a good guy. Yeah. He's trustworthy enough in the past as trustworthy as a mender can be really. Do you have a second name? Just Matawan? Uh, I actually don't know, but I'll try and make contact when we arrive. Uh, and potentially Matawan has other assets, but, um, yeah, that's really all we know. Kind of generally where it is and that's it. How do the vaults operate? Is it like the one that we found in the?

In the riverways where it's like, there's just like an autonomous golem there that kind of manages them or are they all different? They're all kind of different. The general conceit of a vault is there is a wifi hotspot there. Not every wizard tower would be a vault, but because there was a hotspot in this vault, the thalmic field that exists inside it is powerful enough that it can maintain, uh, wards and spells that are necessary for the protection. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

There's a lot of containment of the objects they're in. And the people there in those objects. Precisely. Yes. Did we ever, uh, agree on what we were going to do with these boxes? Are we going to break everyone out or are we going to Maggie, what was your opinion when we left? I can't remember. She puts up her hands, says, I have made my position on wizards known in the past. 10 five, sir. Double high five. I've made my position on wizards known in the past. I don't trust them.

I don't like them. Yeah. Perel, I also mean you. Thank you very much. But I don't like you because I don't not like you. I don't not like you because of your personality. I don't not like you because of who you are. Wait, what? The intrinsic nature of Perel. You don't like him. Do you like his personality or not? He's fine. You like him? You like his personality? He's a fine enough person. If you just let him talk, you guys never let him talk.

And then we're like, ooh, Maggie wants to hear Perel talk. Ving starts crossing one index finger over his other index finger. What does that mean? I don't know. This is when we were growing up. This meant you liked somebody. I think it's like tsk tsk. Oh, yeah. This was the penis in the hole. No, no, no. He's not. No, not my type. No, thank you. Not interested. Probably goes, eh, fine. Ving says, totally unrelated. What is your type? Um, how do I?

He takes one finger and goes over behind his pointed ear. That was maybe the fastest I've seen anyone shift into, uh, I guess, lecherous. You know what? Let's move on. Let's move on. How about? Moving on. But, uh, yeah, that's what I know about the vault. I mean, you've been to the Riverways vault. They're kind of dangerous in general. Ours because. Yeah. Chamberlain. Yeah. He broke Billy's arm. Yeah. No, he is a powerhouse when he is required to be.

So we don't know what, what could exist inside this vault. Can we Spout Lore on histories? Yeah. You could probably, you could Spout Lore to potentially recall some details, but like this is something that a lot of people might not know about. Hey, Perel. Yup. Do you remember anything that anyone might've told you about Adderneck All Water? Or the vault. Or the vault. Or like the ice. What was he? What was she into? You had your frog. Frog thing.

And very specific, uh, very specifically, nobody knows. She was very secretive about her work. Caroline, you were a spy. You were spying on Maggie forever. My name's Kareem. Kareem, sorry. That's fine. You just look exactly like Caroline. I was Caroline for a long time. You look exactly like this girl I used to know, Caroline. This girl I used to date, Caroline. Yeah. 2d6 plus intelligent. Wow. Not, not great. Okay. Six. I can age you. Anyone. Yeah.

Cause I can give you a plus two if it's historical. Oh yeah. 2d6 plus bond. Nice. Seven. Okay. Perfect. So that makes it a seven. Interesting, but not useful. So Perel kind of says, yeah, since nobody really, I mean, most towers kind of reflect the specialties of the wizards that built them or lived in them. And since no one really knew what Adderneck's school was, we don't really know what to expect. So I would say. And I know this is not really the way that you operate.

I hazard extreme caution, extreme caution when we go to the tower. Sounds boring. So you're saying we might have to jump in with a plan. I would say don't jump in, make the plan. Don't jump in. How will we make a plan if we don't know anything? So we got to jump in. What's your plan, bro? Be very, very careful. Kind of stand behind you guys. Yeah. And hope that I survive long enough to uncover whatever I need to uncover.

I guess that is not a bad plan is like we go in there swinging and draw whatever it is is in there as attention. And then Perel has time to like, I don't know, read or whatever nerd shit he wants to do. He can do that weird like candle meditation again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I probably would. Twitchy beach moves. Yeah. Yeah. I probably do that. Who has the eye on candle? Tux says looking around. Shit. I Perel does. Okay. Why? I just wanted to know where it was. Okay. Did you use all of it? No. Why?

Crosses his arm. I don't want it. I just wanted to know. Okay. No, I still have some left. Why are you being all suspicious? I don't know. Why are you asking me so many questions? Cause you ask me questions all the time. Like, did I brush my teeth? And like, do I want to learn to read this book? And are you sure you brush your teeth? Cause your breath smells really bad. And I say it's not my fault. I ate some. Food that I found after I brushed my teeth. And also, why is your toothbrush dry?

Because I don't have a toothpaste. So what am I supposed to do? And do you feel like putting on pants today? And I say, no, Perel, do I ever want to put on pants? But I do because that is what society expects of me. Billy did finger quotes around society. All right. I guess we'll undertake a perilous journey to figure out the next stage of this journey. Exciting. Yeah. So navigate and got ahead. Who's doing what? Can I scout ahead this time? Yeah. I'll navigate. Okay. Cool.

So scout ahead is 2d6 plus wisdom. Navigate 2d6 plus intelligence. Billy's feeling better now that he has the mimic moth. And food. So many macaronis. Oh, yeah. 13. Fuck yeah. Pretty good. Four. Okay. Damn it. So scout ahead. You get two from the list below. You get the drop on whatever lies ahead. You discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain. You make a discovery or notice a danger. Like two. Two. Make a discovery. Okay. So you're sailing.

This is, let's say, like a day and a half after your little sit down on the deck. Sun is, you imagine if you've started to kind of be able to track the time of like how bright it is instead of like the position of the sun. So it's probably late afternoon. You are sailing along and you hear someone, a crew member from the crow's nest. There's a vessel. Uh, vessel. There's a vessel off the starboard side, I think. A vessel means a boat, Fing says. It does, yes. Starboard means right, Tuck says.

Starboard does mean right. You're all learning. I'm so proud of you. Off means not on our boat. And you're kind of like peering through the fog and you do see a mid-sized ship, like two sails just kind of sailing along and it looks like there's bodies milling about. Like alive? Yep. They seem to be alive as far as you can tell. Tuck picks up a bottle and throws it at them. Empty bottle? Wait, I was gonna put a drawing in there. Okay, you put a drawing in another one. There's so many.

Oleander has not slowed down and we have not stopped for supplies, so this is pretty weird. And guess what? I'm sailing better than I ever have in my life. He is not at the wheel. I pick my, and I have a lot of drawings too, I pick my best smiley face drawing and I put it in the bottle. Here you go, Tuck. Thanks. Okay, I want to try and get this on their deck. Okay, 2d6 plus strength. A message of friendship and camaraderie between seafaring vessels.

I shall deliver it in the standard way that you do on the sea. In a bottle. Deck to deck. 14. Fucking hell. Yes! It lands in the captain's drink holder. Jacuzzi? Yeah. Is it at the wheel? Yeah. The cup holder attached to the wheel? Yeah. Lands on top of the drink, knocks the other drink through the bottom of the cup holder and completely replaces the thing that they had there. And you hear a voice go, drop, drop, drop it, drop, drop anchor, drop anchor.

And then after some time, ahoy, ahoy there. Ahoy. Are you friendly? Wait, are you? Did you read my message? There's a, what? There's a message in here? Well, duh. It's the standard way that people communicate on ocean. What we assume. Okay, just a sec. It's really in there. It's trying to shake it. It's kind of wet now. Aww, that's nice. Yeah, okay. You seem friendly. We'll meet you halfway. Do you want to come over here? We come over there? We can row over there. Okay.

I want to do a plank, but that's fine. Yeah, I was thinking a plank too. Well, we can get close enough and then plank. We can get close enough to do a plank that we walk across. Okay, yeah. Ving does a plank. They all walk across them. Plank board abs. Yeah. Yeah, the ships come up next to each other. A plank is laid and there's a guy standing there, short, kind of pudgy, bald, glasses. He's got just a vest on and pants, but no shirt, just the vest.

Oh, and then a fur trimmed cape around his shoulders because it's cold out. Oh, yeah. And he's got a necklace on. That has an anchor. Oh, cool. Yeah. So I'm like halfway across the plank and I say, wait a second. I would like to trap expert. Ah, smart. Very smart. 2d6 plus dexterity. Yeah. Sweet. 14. 14. Shit. Okay. Is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? Billy, you've been on the sea quite a lot now. Like you've spent a lot of time out here. I have spent a lot of time on the sea.

And you know what? These are pirates. What does the trap do when activated? They are trying to get a good look at you, especially with the gray being as debilitating as it is. They wouldn't want to risk just like attacking you straight up. And what else is hidden here? You see there's probably 12 to 15 members of this crew and the ones that you see are all wearing the anchor necklace. One second. I just have to go to the bathroom. I start backing up. And you hit our legs.

I'm like, Billy, what are you doing? Back up. No, they're friendly. No, I don't think that they will be friendly. Okay. What's going on? I thought you guys were going to come over here. Yeah, we're just gonna get some toilet paper and food. Toilet paper. You know what? We could use some toilet paper. And we will bring some toilet paper back from the privy is what they call it. All right. We'll be waiting. Okay. Okay. Pull up the anchor. Wait, no. Wait, wait, wait. What's going on, Billy?

I think they're pirates. Look at the vest. Are we pirates? Not really. Oleander. Are we pirates? I'm not a pirate. I'm a smuggler. You want to be a pirate? No. Well, on the level of like, where do pirate versus smugglers sit? Are you more powerful? Powerful. I don't know. I mean, we kind of do different things. Pirates are more like attacking. They can take stuff from people. Smuggler. I've worked for pirates with pirates before. Have you worked with these ones?

Do you know what the anchor means? They are all in the same chain. Yeah, that's the sailor. What? Oh, yeah. The patron of sailors. Yeah. And he reaches in to his shirt and he pulls out a little medallion. Are you a pirate? No. I just, I'm a… I pay homage to the patron of sailors. We know the patron of sailors, dude. Okay. And he puts it back in his We all… We all… We all… We all… We all… We all… We all know the patron. We don't worry. Yeah, you know, we all feel his…

The guidance of them in the air, in the seas, in the lines. In the flesh. And then Tuck goes, it's actually a he in this case. Okay. All right. Whatever. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, yeah, they're probably just… They just, you know, pay homage to the sailor. No, I got a bad feeling about this. Should be pulling that plank up. Do you think they're faking it? What? Do you think they're not actually… They don't… They're not actually part of the patronage of sailors?

Do pirates pay homage to the sailors? I mean, some probably pay homage to the pirate. Could I discern reality and see if I can see if their chains are the same as Oleander's? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go for it. Great. I got nine. Nine? Oh, yeah. Bill Noculus. Bill Noculus. Hell yeah. Shit. Six. So, Billy looks through the Bill Noculus and looks really close at the chain with the anchor.

And the center tine, like the middle of the anchor with the two pieces that come off, the center looks like it might actually be a representation of a blade. And then the two tines are hooks. Oh, shit. Oh, they're not friendly. Fucking alright. Doesn't look like yours, Oleander. Fucking pirates. And Oleander stands up and he walks over to the wheel. He reaches down, he grabs his sword. And he starts drawing it from his step. No, no, no. What about it? He's like, alright.

We gotta make him think we haven't realized that they're pirates yet. I don't think we're gonna have much time to figure that out. They want toilet paper bad. And we are gonna give him a little bit. Do you know that the longer we spend talking here, though, the more they're definitely gearing up to attack us. And then you need two rolls of three. Ah, you know, whatever you got, we'll take. Whatever extra kind of shit you got lying around. Listen to that. We better go. You know what? Make it two.

Actually, make it every two. Make it everything. Oh, no. I pushed the plank over. Okay, two six plus strength. Nine. Nine, okay. So you push the plank into the water as Oleander reefs on the wheel, trying to like tip the front of the boat away from their boat. But a couple of them are able to like leap over the side onto the deck. No. Tuck picks up a giant crate of empties that's on the, it's like a recycling bin full of empties.

He just whips it at the guys that jumped across to see if he can stop them from getting. Yeah, two to six plus. This might be dexterity because you're trying to hit people like hit targets. Okay. I was going to return those. That's like 250 in bottles, man. Recycle. Like 11. Yeah. So I would say that four were trying to jump over and two of them were a little too close together and that you stop their momentum right in the air.

The bottles crash into them and they fall into the water with a splash. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to die. I'm going to fall into the water with a splash. Nice. Yeah. Two of them. I'm going to go fight with honor, roll plus con to get some hold. Yeah, totally. 10. 10. Okay. So that's three hold for a fight with honor. Yep. And I assume you're squaring off with the other two that landed on board.

I'm going to cross a distance between myself and a foe bypassing all obstacles and then deal damage to them. Yeah, that's perfect. I'm going to run and grab a rope, like Superman style and swing fist forward and just knock them out of the air like that. Perfect. Swing around. Roll your damage. Three. Yeah. So you knock one of them right into the water, continuing your momentum on the rope, swinging gallantly through the air, landing back onto the deck.

But the one remaining pirate who jumped first lands on the deck. He's got two hatchets. He's got really big arms and he's like, ah, real piratey shit. I want to grab a, like an empty sack where there are more cans. There's so many. So many bottles. Containers. It's like a bottle depot around here. Yeah. Grab a cloth bag that had a bunch of cans in them. Bottles. Uh huh. No, and cans. He's found like carbonated sealed beers somewhere. And I leap on the guy and try to put the bag over his head.

Perfect. Nice. Give me a defy danger dexterity to even like get up on this guy first. Eight. Okay. So the eight, like he sees you coming and he starts like swinging his hatchets at you. So you can continue onto him to do the bag thing with another roll and get hit. Or you can stop right now and avoid his attack. No, I want to get him with the bag. Okay. Roll a D6. Four. Four. He nicks you with his blade on one of the hatchets dealing four damage, but then you're on top of him.

And now roll, I guess, dexterity again to get this bag on him. 12. Yeah. It's got a drawstring on it. I tighten it up. I'm like hanging off of it. Look at what I cut. Yeah. It's around like his knees. So he's like, whoa, it smells like beer in here. Billy, you're bleeding. Billy, you're bleeding. Oh, I'm fine. It's just sauce from me. You mean blood? He means blood. Just to minimize his injuries by calling stuff sauce. Don't worry. It's just Billy sauce. I'm just miracle whipping out of my eyes.

And you hear as the last pirate that made it over the first time is taken care of. You hear a real classic. Yar, yar, yar, yar. As a bunch like swing over on lines. Oh, what the fuck? And try and. Try and land onto the boat. Tuck looks around for something to use to fight these guys off. And he realizes very suddenly he carries a battle axe with him everywhere he goes. Oh, right. Oh my God, I got to find more empties. He grabs a slice of his memory in which contains a battle axe on his back.

And then Tuck picks up another container full of Tupperware containers this time. Yeah. No lids. No lids. Not a single lid. I know. All of this is garbage that they were planning on throwing away. It's all these ones. They got fucking sauce in them. And then the sauce never comes out. Only Andrew's a bit of a hoarder. A little bit. You know, you know, I mean, it's not hoarding if I'm preparing for eventualities. Divorced dads are always holding on to garbage that they're going to eat out of.

It's not garbage if I have a use for it. We're telling you, don't hoard on board. There's such limited space on the Sunrunner, too. Like, it's not a big boat. The crew talks about it a lot. They're like, he's really holding on to it. There's like six mannequins in the back. He said he was going to make like a coat rack out of them, and he still has it. So you grab a crate full of old Tupperware. And I grabbed the biggest Tupperware and I pull it up as a shield.

And then I grabbed the ax off my back. Amazing. And then I go, I want to fight the biggest guy. Is there a big guy swinging? Yeah, there's a big guy. He's got a big pole that looks like it's a club. Is it Fatim? No, it's just a club. Okay. It's just a big guy with a stick. And he's missing one eye. And he's got a patch on the other one. And Tuck goes, Fatim, is that you? Har! Oh, be Fatim. And Tuck is like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. You look like a guy I know.

And the club begins whistling through the air towards your head. Tuck blocks it and then smashes him in the face with the head of the ax. Okay. That sounds like defend. So I'm going to roll. I'm going to get you to roll defend. Oh, finally. I'm making it happen. Yeah, you are. This is great. So 2d6 plus constitution. Okay. So that's it. That's it. 2d6 plus constitution is three. So nine. Okay. So on a nine, you hold one. Redirect an attack from the thing you defend to yourself.

Have the attacks effect or damage. Open up the attacker to an ally, giving that ally plus one forward against the attacker or deal damage equal to your level. I'll deal damage equal to my level. Okay. Yeah. Oh God, what's your level? Eight. This guy's toast. There's, you know, people don't have a lot of hit points in this. Yeah. So yeah. So you're just whistling through the air towards your head. You block it with the ax and then just whack them in the face. Yeah. Yeah.

With the head of the ax, like the broad side of it. And he gets smoked right in the teeth. He didn't have many teeth to begin with, but the ones that were there fall out. It sounds like they clatter all over the deck. It talks like, fuck, I'm sorry. I was going to kill you. And then he splooshes into the water and the crew has begun battle fights happening all over the deck. And Maggie comes fucking charging up from below deck and shoulder checks a guy into the water, just full up.

And she's like, finally, she's just beating the shit out of a guy. But Ollie is trying to get the ship away and you need to hold off these people to give the boat enough time to kind of get under sail. They're not trying to catch us with their helmsman. Are they trying to chase us in the boat? Yeah. They're trying to chase you. And like every once in a while, a rope will like fling over the deck. Yeah.

It's like a rope will fling over the deck with like a grappler on it and it'll slam and try and grab onto something. I want to use my superior technique in my fight with honor. Yeah. To deal damage to a foe within sight. Yeah. As long as you can see the helmsman, which you can, like you can see someone at the wheel. Okay. I want to try that. Okay. So you just spend your hold and deal your damage. Great. My damage is a D6 and I guess because I'm using nature's fury, I get a D10. Oh yeah.

It's a D10 instead. 10. That's a 10. Yeah. That's a 10. Holy shit. So yeah. What, how does Ving do this? Describe it. I guess he pushes with the water. Mm-hmm. Fucks with the rudder. Cause that's what he's holding onto the wheel. Yeah. The wheel controls the rudder. The rudder. So then he just takes the rudder and like the water around the rudder moves in opposite direction and flings the guy off the boat. Just like, whew. Cause the wheel spins. Nice. The wheel spins and he's holding on. Yeah.

He's not expecting it. Yeah. He gets tossed right into the water. You hear a splash and a scream and the rudder is like, a 10 is a lot of damage. Yeah. And then there's like a crash as Ving like grips with the water and just destroys the back of the boat. And the guy with the glasses is running around on the deck going, no fucking shit. Son of a bitch. Fucking boat no.

And the rest of the pirates who are fighting on the deck are like looking over and going, oh boy, our ship is being destroyed and we're stuck on this one. And we're all just like. Yeah. So the pirates that are on the deck. They're fighting with a renewed vigor, realizing their lives are hanging in the balance. I'm still hanging off that bag. Still? Are you killing this guy? No, I'm just keeping him for later. Whatever. I don't know.

Billy, you hear a as you start seeing like the blades of axes poke through the material of this bag. Whoa, what are you doing? Get off me. I'm trying to get out of here. Do I have a move where I put them to sleep? Yeah. It's fairy dust. Okay. Fairy dust on this guy. Chan? Hell yeah. And I'm. I just sneeze on him. And I think with a 10, you get to choose three from the list, which I believe is they'll stay asleep for a long time.

You can do it to a group of people and you can do it from a distance. Stay asleep for a long time and a group of people. Yes. Big sneeze. Amazing. Cause it like usually just fake it, but this one was actually real. Yeah. He's wearing a lot of perfume. This pirate. He is. This is a very perfumed boy. He is covered in dracar noir. Oh yeah. It is like being in line outside of touch nightclub. It is like being in line outside of touch nightclub. It is like being in line outside of touch nightclub.

It is like being in line outside of touch nightclub. In Hamilton. 1998. And the perfume gets up inside your nose and you go, huh? And it's a huge, like pop of fairy dust that extends over the whole deck. Gesundheit. The pirates fall asleep. The one in the bag slumps to the ground. And even a few of Ollander's crew members just like hit the deck and start snoring. Teck and Vinger just like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's not evil. It's like, no, but we don't have fun.

We're gonna fall asleep halfway through a fight. I guess. It's fine. It's normal. It's a part of your body, but we just don't want to get touched by it. Wasn't embarrassed until now. Sorry. Hey guys. Ollander? What's up? Did we win? Yeah, we won. All right. Can we get the anchor up? Is that guy? Hey fucker. And he yells across the water and the guy's just like, ah, oh no. Like bailing. You see him running up and down between the ship. Just throwing a bucket of water.

Things throwing sleeping pirates back on their ship. Oh, you're tossing it back on. Yeah. And that yeah, bodies are hitting the deck or the water or the side of the boat. Let's get a move on. Fucking you big man. Get the anchor up. What are you doing? Do you want me to pull the anchor up? Oh no. I want you to stand around and ask me about the anchor some more. Why are you being a dick to me? I'm stressed out. You sound like beer smells. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out.

I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Yeah, Billy's got the, he's like hanging from the capstan. Like, go, go.

His legs are just. I got 12. Yeah, you grab the chain and haul it straight up from the water. You're fused fucking rippling in the gray light of day. Yeah, there's a rare beam of sunlight that cuts across the scene. It glitters off of the pectorals and the abs and the obliques. Like, you can really see like that lower and upper triangle on my back as I haul stuff up. And for a moment, everyone becomes still as they look at the poetry that is the human body in full bloom. You hear the baby oil.

You hear the pirate on the other ship go. You know what? I can't go against that. He's a specimen. It's beautiful. Talk your baby. And then Tuck's like, thanks. And then he hands only under the entire anchor and let's go. He just drops it full on onto the ground. And he turns the wheel and you start. He's sailing away and he goes, ha, no one will ever catch Captain Oleander Dreyfus.

And he grabs a bottle that he was drinking from and throws it with all his might directly into the ground at his feet. It shatters. Let's go, boys. And you sail off into the gray, having escaped the pirates. And then Tuck goes over to Billy and Vick and he's like, good job, you two. You too, bud. Do you feel like Oleander's drinking too much? Do you think that maybe we should take away his command of the ship? Should we mutiny him until he's… Sobers up a little bit? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

And you hear Oleander. Did you say mutiny? Completely sober. We're just saying, I think you're a little too under the influence to be making decisions for the entire boat right now. Not anymore, I'm not. I hear the word mutiny. My brain's firing on all cylinders. All right, mutiny, mutiny, mutiny. Let's get out of here. I got my eye on you. Then I mutiny on your mutiny, mutiny. I swear to God, if you try and mutiny me, I'm going to counter mutiny you so fucking hard. I mutiny. You mutiny me.

You mutiny me in your sleep. You better wake up and mutiny me. Every time they say mutiny, they get closer and closer together until their noses are touching. It's like one of those kinds of fights. And Oleander's quite a lot shorter than Ving. He's like 5'8". He's poking me in the chest. Mutiny you, mutiny me. I'm going to mutiny the shit out of you. I'll mutiny the shit out of your shit. You better mutiny with one eye open. You better mutiny and wipe twice, motherfucker. Go pull that line.

I will, Captain. Salutes him. Goes and pulls the line. All right. He snaps his fist in a salute on his chest, delaying some sort of previous naval experience, perhaps, and goes back to the wheel. And the day continues without incident, though you see Oleander reach into his shirt and kind of like rub the anchor medallion around his neck as he sails. Is that like a thing for luck? It's like a religious thing, I think.

I mean, as much as the patronages are a quote-unquote religion, yeah, I guess so. It's more just like it's just reminding me that there are a billion billion sailors that came before me and we all are united in our mastery and love of the sea, you know?

And he's actually warmed up quite a lot to Billy because everybody does eventually, but he really throws on this like kind of cool like dad thing around Billy and you're not really sure why, but he's like, yeah, you know, it's just a little medallion reminds me what I do. Where I came from. That's cool. I just imagined Billy like sitting kind of on like the little box in front of the wheel like hanging out with. Yeah, totally. Where'd you like?

What was the kind of your favorite food from where you come from? From where I come from my favorite food. Oh boy. You ever had? So there's this thing that we have. It's called a fuck. It's called like a grapka. Uh-huh. It's like a disc of flatbread and then you cut the bread open and you create like a pocket. Yeah. And then you put like meat and vegetables and sauce and it creates like this little pocket of bread. Nice. When we get to port, I'll make you some stuff. I'll get the stuff for it.

Do you have any weird dreams ever? Like, oh yeah. Oh, hello. Weird dreams. Why do you have weird dreams too? Totally. And do you ever wonder if dogs have thoughts? We're kind of bouncing around topics a lot, but yeah, I guess so. Why wouldn't everybody has thoughts? That's a good point. What about cats? Yeah, definitely. No, actually. No, cats don't have thoughts. I don't know. Ving says they do. Ving would say that though. And also, why did you, why did your wife leave you? Oh boy.

That's a big question. Whenever I ask, you always change the subject. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess if I had to, if I had to pick one, it's kind of because I became so committed to my job that I started thinking of myself as like a smuggler first and a husband second. At a time when we really needed that support in each other.

And she just kind of grew further and further apart from me because I mean, she had her own things like she had her, she had her textile business and that was really important to her. And I respect that. If I had to pick a second answer, it's because she fucked my brother. Whoa. Well, yeah. Anyway, any follow-up questions there, little guy? Let me think about it. Okay. All right. I'm going to keep sailing while you think. Cut to us for a second. Yeah.

We're below decks trying to organize an intervention with the rest of the crew members being like, he's drinking too much. Okay. Billy's up there distracting him so that we can organize this thing with you guys. I haven't seen him leave the helm in three days. How are we going to get him down here? He hasn't slept. He has not stopped drinking. He's purely functioning only on alcohol, I think. I don't think I've seen him pee. Except that one time we peed on that Selkie.

I mean, he has been drinking quite a lot, yes, but he has been operating at more or less, let's say 60% capacity. And Tuck grabs this guy's arm and he goes like, you're being an enabler right now, dude. Oh my God, you're right. I am. I just love my captain so much. I just want him to have what's best for him. Well, then you guys stand up to us. Sweet sailor above and below. You are correct. Thank you. So much for, and he grabs both sides of your face and pulls you in.

Thank you so much for revealing my biases to me in such a kind and supportive way. And Tuck kisses him on the lips. All right. Yes. He returns that kiss fervently. And then Tuck goes, now go get Oleander. Okay, I will. And Abdul turns to everyone and goes, do you guys want to do an intervention? Yes. All right. Paul, you're in harm reduction. Is this a dangerous thing for us to be making fun of? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, this has nothing to do with that. Okay.

So it's, who is this guy that I just kissed? This guy, this guy's name is Darcy Spice. Darcy Spice. I like that a lot. Darcy Spice. Darcy Spice. He's the quartermaster. Darcy Spice. Darcy. I am a captain. Anyway. So what I was saying was sometimes when you toast bread, you know, it just gets too hard for your gums. That's true. That's true. I have noticed that. That's why I like to put toast in my mouth for a little while and let it sit there. Me too. It's like, I call it bread soup. Captain.

Captain, can you join us at the blood decks for a minute, please? I have to go to the bathroom. Oh, all right. I mean, somebody's got to, somebody's got to watch the helm though. What I mean is I will watch the helm. Okay. And I will go, I'm just cause I'm just going to whiz off the deck right here. And then I, I will be at the helm. Okay. Right away. I'll be, I'll be right back. Like Billy porthole. Sorry. And, uh, stomp, stomp, stomp.

As all he comes down the stairs and sees all of you standing there, presumably. Yeah. There's a big banner that says intervention. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What the slams locks behind him? What the fuck is this? Trust us. I don't need an intervention. I think, dude, we're here because we love you. Okay. This is less than, this intervention. This is just the safest way that we thought that we could tell you that there is no more alcohol on this boat. What the fuck are you talking about?

We're not a hundred percent sure what an intervention is. So we're, we're just here to tell you that this boat is dry and there's no more. Are you, you're what? You drank it all, bud. That can't be, that can't be true. That can't, oh, oh my God. When we were at four frost, we left so quick. I didn't have time. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh my God. There was only eight barrels. Why did I only bring eight barrels? All the bottles, the bottles are done are gone. Yeah.

What about those weird cans that I found that are all fizzy? Yeah. You drank those. Oh my God. They were so refreshing. And then tech goes, Darcy wrote you a letter. It's true. Captain. I did write you a letter. And the important thing to know is that this comes from, a place of love. There's a safe space. Okay. I just, and he pulls out a little pair of a pince-nez glasses. He puts them on his nose and he unfolds a letter. Captain. Captain. Oh, captain, my captain.

When you drink so much that I'm afraid we will crash into the rocks. I find that your drinking becomes a fear of man, but I do not want to fear you, my captain, I want you to be as good a sailor as you are a friend. And I am worried that occasionally when you drink and say it is pretty bad ass that doing it too much will lead to your downfall. And also the DM of the people on this vessel. And I want you to know that I love you.

Next page flips it over and you see that he actually has several pages. Like, Oh, geez, I didn't write this so fast. And there's a, he's had this for years. Yeah. And we do a, a slow panning montage of him reading the pages. There's just music over it. And you see like it cuts to Darcy and he's like crying and all the Anders crying. And then it fades in and fades back. And Darcy's reading and the captain's laughing a lot and everybody's laughing and hugging.

And then it fades out and fades back in. And tucking Vinger holding all the under back from trying to cry fighting. Everybody's trying to beat Darcy up. And then it fades back in. And in conclusion, captain, we all love you and we want you to be, to be good and healthy and not die until it is narratively or fictionally appropriate. The end. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark.

Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. Question mark. And then it says at the button, Captain, all the under dry face will return. Dot, dot, dot. And, uh, all he's standing there for a second, his arms crossed tears in his eyes. I can't believe I only brought eight barrels. Well, you did. So, but if there's one thing I know about the dry faces, it's that we get over stuff really fast.

So I think that I'll be, I understand what you're saying. And I think that, if I can go like, by the time I get to port, I might not even want to drink anymore. You know what I mean? That's the attitude. Yeah. One port at a time. I just want to, I want to thank you all for putting this kind of, I don't know, priority on my wellness. I guess I haven't been putting my own priority on my own wellness, you know, ever since my divorce eight years ago, eight years.

And, uh, you know, I, I just really needed this reminder that I'm not just what happened to me. I'm what I'm going to do. You know, I'm the people that I love and I'm, I'm a fucking sailor. God damn it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You are pulls out the, the necklace. This, this necklace means something. It's a top. There's a shot of whiskey in it. Okay. That's the end. That's the last, that's the last emergency where I'm gone. And that's it. That's there's no more on the boat. I can remember.

I got to discern realities when he goes to sleep, to find the rest of it. Yeah. And you know what? I love you. I love you. And he walks up and he hugs Darcy and he gives him a quick peck on the lips. I love you. And he goes to the next crew member and he gives him a hug and a quick peck on the lips. I love you. And he goes to each person in the hold and gives him a quick peck on the lips. And as he's doing it, you can clearly see that he's patting them down to see. Wow. Yeah. He gets to tuck.

And I don't, does tuck notice that he's getting patted down? Yeah, totally. And I love you. Thanks, man. I have no pockets in this. Come on. I don't know what you're talking about. And he gives, he gives me a look at him. Like I have so many vials of liquid on me right now. I really love you. And I think, I think I'm going to be okay. Just then you hear, I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. Yeah. Everybody's launched to the side. We look over Billy's down here with us.

I also wanted to hug. He reaches down and he hugs Billy and he goes, I love you. Wait a second. To the helm. So you, the boat runs aground with this thunderous cacophony of shattering wood. You run upstairs to the to the top deck and you're greeted by like your eyes. You all like shield your eyes. Oh my God. Brilliant blue skies. That you're reading in your ear for some reason. As your vision resolves in the light you see the beautiful brilliant globe of the sun hanging in the sky. Holy shit.

We were down there for a long time. It's like you guys were reading a book or something. And you have arrived upon the shores of the frozen north. That's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz. So long everybody. Playing Bing the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers. Take care guys. Playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai. Bye everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music.

You can find all of the music composed and performed by Aaron for the show at the Spoutlore SoundCloud account which you can look up and you can check out Aaron's album Healthy. Healthy by ACR which you can find at Aaron Reed A-A-R-O-N R-E-A-D dot bandcamp dot com. Thank you to all of our supporters around the world for supporting the show. If you want to support the show and get access to a bonus campaign tons of audio content merchandise, postcards, a whole bunch of shit.

Check us out at Patreon.com slash Spoutlore or Spoutlore.com slash money please and we'll see you next time. Spoutlore.com Spoutlore.com

For more of the gooey goodness that you love from Spout Lore, come on down to speltlore.com slash money please where we'll redirect you to the Patreon and then donate there for the more of the thing that you like. Did you say gooey? Yeah. That's not bad. That breath was worse than anything else you said actually. Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old.

You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does max the largest heart. Best in business. And raddest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts.

So gather round friends and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Hello everyone. When last we left our heroes, they were dragged, kicking and screaming into a hellscape of Ving's creation. What? Sorry. The gang was transferred unconsciously to the dream place. Ving was accosted by a nightmarish representation of his father Dathaniel in the form of a great black wolf with iron gray teeth. A snow owl in its mouth. Arrows piercing its hide.

And after attempting to kill this wolf several times, darted into the woods of his nightmares to confront the beast. Tuck and Billy following closely behind. Grappling with their own dream selves. Billy turning into a tree and becoming trapped in an endless dream forest. Tuck encountering the nightmarish cataclysm that he has experienced over and over and over every night for his entire life. Yeah, totally normal for me.

And no reason to be concerned or no reason to speculate from a fan perspective to. Your chin's doing the waggle thing. Your eyes are watering again. Stop it. Your eyes are spinning around in your head like a Muppet. What's going on? Ving confronted the wolf dad at the last moment, saving himself by plunging his unbreakable spear into a brand new gemstone cave. Opal Moonstone. A beautiful, brilliant white light plunging his spear into it and being consumed by an inky. Okay. Darkness.

Tuck hauling Ving out of this darkness into his own nightmare. Ving joining him in the cataclysm. Thank you. Yeah. And Tuck realized that more terrifying than the nightmare of this island being destroyed is having someone see what's going on in his head. Does not like that. The ultimate vulnerability. He's a string of dead therapists behind him. Billy, meanwhile, became lost.

And a memory of the winter war totes engaging in an unending battle with a vicious Elven warrior top a mighty battle cat being killed over and over as well. Yeah. Tuck and Ving progressed through the cataclysmic nightmare, finding Billy on this battlefield, doing their absolute damnedest to get him out. Ving took on the form of a bear of bloody ice and moonlight. Tuck mixed it up with a cat man. Yeah. I got fucked up. I got fucked up a lot. Yeah. Pretty bad. Yeah.

But eventually, through the power of friendship, overcame their troubles, removing their Chamberlain rings after they found themselves in a vision of Pinewood, a happier time, a better time. And the gang escaped from the nightmare realm. But not before Tuck watched the village of Pinewood destroyed in a cataclysm. All of his friends and loved ones being burned to death by a fissure of lava. I knew that this would be his dream. From here on out. Yeah.

Tuck is like, what the fuck is going on in my head? It doesn't sound or feel good. Yeah. To even think about. So he doesn't think about it. And that's a pretty good way to deal with it, in his opinion. And upon returning to the waking world, they were collected by Savarna, who said that the council had reached their decision. And then they returned to the council to hear their judgment. Billy acted like a fucking animal and climbed around in the knowledge tree, spitting on the tree.

And then he was looking on people and telling them to shut the fuck up, showing once and for all the reason that you shouldn't bring your kid to small claims court. Yeah, this is what happens when they take me somewhere I don't want to go. Custody battle. Fuck you. My custody is nuts. Great. And they received the judgment from Grim Shay, leader of the Oval Council, early speaker for the Oval Council, that this debt of blood can only be paid with blood. And that you must kill.

The ranger king ah geez and that is where we find ourselves now it's probably gonna have no ramification psychologically the judgment hangs in the air they look at you expectantly well our rate is five gold coins a day plus per diem plus expenses yeah um each shit good call great grim grim shay looks baffled absolutely flabbergasted this is not a request this is a judgment what have we deny if you refuse this judgment deny what is required of you I would recommend leaving this island by sundown you will have a day and a night and then the judgment of hibernia be on you and at that you see stoneye who you see stoneye who is a man of justice and he's going to take you to a place where you has his arms crossed over his barrel chest smile grimly.

Fuck. Billy farts while looking at Stonai. He plops the ground. It's like, well, I guess we best be off. We shall collect our things. Yeah. Tuck. Yes, I will go now. And Tuck is like Stonai and he like reaches for it touches Stonai on the arm. He doesn't move, but his whole body tenses. I would like to say I will see you on the morrow, my friend. And then Tuck, who is really suffering the effects of blood loss, does a flourishing bow and almost passes over all the blood rushes to his head.

He's a head rush and Savarna is at the edge of the cliff and she starts walking back with you. What happened? We have to kill my father? Oh. Or they're going to kill us. Ah, yeah. Well, you know, that's the way. Do you know how they'll kill us? How do they usually kill people who won't kill their dad? Well, that actually has only come up a handful of times, I'd say.

But, um, if I had to guess based on a sort of your current situation and everything that has happened between your discovery and your arrival on Hibernia, I would guess the Selkies will have something to do with it. Oh, no. The water dogs. And then Tuck goes, Savarna, I picked these for you. And he gives her a handful of grass. Oh. Like, not long grass. Like little blades of grass. It's a little clutch of grass. Oh, thank you. That's very sweet of you.

And she kind of takes it from you and puts it in her mouth. Right, because she's a deer. She is. Oh, my God. Does she eat the grass? She eats it. She puts it right in her mouth and chews it. Like gum. So, yeah, I mean, you can go back to the hut. You could probably go back to your ship as well. I mean, I assume they gave you the usual spiel. Be gone by sundown and then a day and a night. Yeah. So, what do you plan on doing? I think we have to talk to our friends to figure out what's going on.

Okay, so you're going down on the ship? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So, you head down to the Sunrunner and it is beached exactly where you found it. And before we leave Savarna, I go, yeah, so like, I got like my own like hammock in there if you ever want to come by. It's pretty cool. So, you're kind of casually looking about trying to act like disconnected and cool and you turn back and she's gone. And then I grab Ving's arm and I lean in and I was like, do you see that? That was amazing.

We were both like looking at you really like wide-eyed like I was. I was like, yeah. Oh, she's gone. She already left. She left a while ago. So quiet into his disappeared. You miss a hundred percent of the shots. You don't take buddy. Yeah, I miss a hundred percent of my shots. I need my shots.

I need to get my shots and there are, you know, a couple selkies on the beach that are asleep some in human form, some in seal form and you see all the under is standing kind of on the top deck of the Sunrunner from where it's beach and he sees you. He's got a beer in his hand. He's like, oh, hey, hey, sup, Ollie. I thought you were any runs his hand across his neck. No, we got a day and a half. What do you mean? And then it's as you put it. Oh, yeah. Is Maggie around? I could go find her.

Yeah, I think we need to tell her and Perel what happened. We go down to Pearl's room like last time. He wakes up and he's like well, just standing over his hammock. What's going on? Is that your sleeping robe? Yeah, it's really nice. It's for airflow. Is that a feather boa? This hammock's uncomfortable. I like the way it feels against my skin. Is that silk? Yeah, it's silk. Is this part wool? I mean, yeah, it's got like different like panels. No, the slippers. Oh, yeah, those these are wool.

I made these actually. Billy crawls into the hammock as well. Trying to steal a slipper. No kidding. And he kind of shifts. Make room. Yeah, then lets Billy lay down. Oh, God. Okay, what's going on? All right, so I'm snuggling Perel. And you're trying to steal a slipper? Yeah, I got a slipper in my, I'm hugging the slipper. I'm like, Perel, we got so much to tell you. Okay, what's going on? We gotta kill my dad in a day and a half or they're gonna kill all of us. Hold on.

And he like slaps himself in the cheek a couple times. Did you say you have to kill your dad in a day and a half or they're going to kill you? I think we have to agree to kill his dad or we just run and if we do that, they'll try and come and kill us in a day and a half. Oh, shit. Bing, how do you feel about that? Well, yeah, pretty conflicted thing. Good morning. Yeah, good morning. That's a lot. Yeah, that is a lot. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I mean, mostly like where are we going to find this guy? He's, you know, he's not going to go down easy. No, probably not. But also, did you want to kill your dad? Really? I mean, I did. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah. Not really. You want to kill? Yeah, I did. For sure. I did. Have you ever met a dad you didn't want to kill? We could always just run and then choose along the way. And then if we get in trouble, we're just like, oh, well, you didn't make the terms clear enough.

We thought we just had to get out of here. Here's the question. Should we just tell them that we're going to kill Bing's dad and then decide later? I mean, druids do have a… Do you have a pinky promise too? Yeah. No! I was trying to think of the word for it. There's an old Irish mythological term. A gash? A gash. Yeah. Which is like, it's a thing that you have to abide by or it brings you like misfortune, basically.

So you think that they'll try and like bind us with a gash to like force us to do this if we say yes? I mean, I assume that's what they're going to do. That's like, you know, that's how you make people do it. You do what you're bidding. And it is very much like Billy's oath Bing, you remember. It's like you agree to terms of some kind and it is set out that if you break the terms, then yeah, something terrible happens to you.

Can I spell it, Lauren, if it's possible to break a gash after it's been administered? Totally. Great. Because if we can, if we become, if we, if you just gash yourself. Tuck has learned a new word. I'm using it all the time. I do not know how it's worked. If we do the gash work. Let me take a gash. If you get drenched in the gash. We can't let them get us in the gash. Yeah, but if we do that and then figure out a way to break it, then maybe we can get out of here scot-fucking-free. Here we go.

2d6+. Intelligence for Spout Lore. Oh. Minus one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is eight. Interesting, but not useful. Guys, aid me. I'll aid. Well, it's only. We're all both gonna aid. You can't. No. Sean, you gotta aid too. Can I roll my fairy moves? Go to www.patreon.com to aid Abdul in this rule right now. That's aid us by subscribing to our Patreon. Aid us right now by subscribing to www.spellordtreon.com. Okay, I'm just registering that domain. Do it now.

Text 2d6 plus bond to 5555 if you're a team tuck. Klondike 5. No, unfortunately, you know, you can't really aid that far. Fuck. Fuck. Wait. Bardic lore. Yeah. Does that mean two of us can aid? No. He doesn't bardic lore? No, but bardic lore. Choose an area of expertise. Legends of guitar heroes past gods and their servants and histories. I feel like this is gods and their servants. I don't know about that. Like the ocean? Yeah. This is more like magic. The ocean is a minor god, basically.

Well, if the moon is a god, then the ocean's a god. No, guys. Yeah. Stop. Gods and their servants. They made a deal with this huge spirit. Oh, stop world building, Sean. All of a sudden. I thought this was a collaboration. No, but we're not talking about a god or their servants. We're talking about a specific magical practice. But it's not. I think it's spiritual if it's druids are doing it. Okay, but that doesn't mean that Okay. Yeah. Like, what are the other? What are the other legends?

Not legends. No, and unfortunately not a god or their servants. What about histories? Okay. But you did get a seven, remember? Give me a seven. Yeah. So interesting, but not useful. You know that there are stories you've heard and read stories of people. What if you ask thing? I was literally in the middle of a sentence. Yeah. I'm doing my thing. Why interrupt you with my sounding board on a spell or get plus two. Oh shit. Oh my god. Yeah. Sorry.

See what happens when you read your character sheets. I forgot I had these. Okay. So what's the what's another PC comes to you for advice about something important. You tell them what you honestly think is best and get plus two forward on spell or discern realities. Okay. Yeah. Then yeah. So is that how do we do this? Is that all I made? That is just Ving has to be involved. Yeah. You got to just ask him. I'm so stupid because he's like a riff kind of guy is what we said. Yeah.

He's riffing on it. This makes sense because it's all juridic stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And I have the memory of an old druid stuck within me and a wizard. Yeah. And I'm kind of like a egg. Jesus. Egg person. Yeah. You're a Jesus egg. We all know what that means. Let's move on and not ask Paul about his weird history. Grow up in the Ontario North. So that makes it a 10 because I'm a moron. Interesting and useful. Interesting.

We all grab our hands and jump up and down in a circle and turn slowly around and around until Sean tells us what we want to know. And so what I'm going to tell you is there are stories Ving, you know this and Billy, you've heard it. You talk. You've probably heard songs or read books that have all probably songs that there are stories of people overcoming their Gesha or having their own Gesha broken against their will by like technicalities Achilles heel. Yeah, exactly.

So there are there is probably a way if you could find a really tricky little technicality that could get you out of the Gesha. But the thing is is that you have to kill the Ranger King. That's what we have to try to do until we figure out how to break this Gesha exactly. Yeah, so that's the thing is if you could find a way to make that technically true or impossible or something like that, then you might be able to get out of it. He does hook a lot of halfling pipe we might be dead already.

I have an idea. What if you take over you take his crown, you become king and then kill yourself. No, wait. No, this could work. This is us brainstorming. No, that is good. Bing and Tuck both scream at the same time. You kill yourself because then my dad would be alive and you'd be dead and we would fulfill the wait, that's the same outcome as if we just said no. What if we don't give any timeline and then they don't know because they're still trying.

Remember when Urk was getting the book that took months. It took so many months. What if we try and, and make your dad super unhealthy. Yes, like a bunch of burgers. Yeah, by becoming his chefs. This is great clog his arteries over many years for a long time and kill him that way. Perel holds up a hand. I'm not a druid, but my guess is they're going to put a timeline on it. Okay, I don't think they're going to give you like free rain. So it's our calendar people.

Yeah, what if we use the calendar of the sky? And eternal. Yeah, and then when Billy says we use the calendar of the sky, we go what the fuck you talking about? Like it's eternal. Assumed they can't see the stars and they haven't been able to see them for so long, right? So we can just switch her up a little bit. We agree to our terms. Yeah, and we just make up a certain time when we know the stars aligned and it's really a long time from now.

So we got loads of time and then tuck is like, all right, here we go. I have an idea and then he leans into oleander. Yeah, oleander here. Yeah, I'm here. Okay, he's drinking. He's drinking a beer. He's just watching. You gotta stop drink your even drinking constantly since we got here. I'm stressed out. That's a bad reaction to no shit. Did I tell you I'm divorced? Oh my God. Oh, no, we took you from your counselor to that's fine. That wasn't working out anyway.

She was leaving me all the women in my life. Leave me eventually. So except for any pads, the Sun runner, this old beauty here and then tuck goes. Okay, here we go. I'm going to lean in to grab your hand. You're going to your hands so big. I know dude. It's stop squeezing so hard. I'm pulling you in out and then I get close to his face. I'm like, do you have a lawyer on board? Did you bring a divorce lawyer to help us draft this this gash this deal?

Can I roll it spelt or on if there's a real see if there's a lawyer on board? Yeah, sure. Go for it. Discern eternities to 26 plus wisdom nine. Yes, of course I have a I have a barrister all ship captains travel with a barrister. Let me go get him. What's the barristers name? Follow me. Yeah, Bartholomew Theodore tiddlywinks the second. Wow, okay. Yeah, Bartholomew Theodore tiddlywinks the second attorney at law Squire.

I was I wasn't sure what voice I was going to do, but now I'm going to do this one Bartholomew Theodore tiddlywinks the second attorney at law before he even like yeah, let me go look for him. They use stomps and then Boingy jumps out of a deck hole either. He's got like a long robe on he's got he's all he's got a big gray beard long gray hair. He's got a clipboard a tie for some reason tie under on his robe. I thought you're the janitor.

Oh, no, a lot of people make that misconception little boy. Don't worry, but I'm mopping the deck. I was yes with your rights and responsibilities. Maybe most of the time I am what some could call a swabby, but did I pass the bar exam? Maybe prove that I didn't Oh, yeah, he's our guy. All right. Yeah, you know come in and out of port.

It's always good to have somebody familiar with international law to sort of you know get us out of legal jams as my captain all the under here is a smuggler and criminal. It's important that we know we are operating just at the legal limit most of the time. So what do you need? We got a situation where a bunch of druids. I don't know if you've seen this before stop me as if you've heard this one. Okay. All right, our trying to put a gash. Oh, huh on my friend here thing.

Have you ever dealt with a gash before? No, never. This is an isolated druidic community. All right, but I think I'm familiar with the idea. Well, it's a contract that is enforced by the spirit realm sort of boy. Okay, and depending on the terms of that contract thing may or may not have to kill his dad who is the Ranger King to thank Daniel van Zumba bloody Warrior King of the frozen north very fucking hard to kill.

So we're trying to find a way to word this gash so that we don't have to do that. Okay, we're hoping to work into the eternity timeline of the stars if that means anything to you or become his chefs. You know what kids? I've got great news for you. I've dealt with this exact thing before you see in black glass. I was part of a negotiation between two competing discount thrift shops who were having a conflict over Brandon.

They both said that they came up with a mascot that was a lamp with eyes and legs and I was able to determine that the lamp was actually an ancient sigil within the free copyright domain. So what they were actually doing was infringing upon the copyright of the ancient kingdom of kinos so you'll see that this is actually now that I'm thinking about it not similar in any way, but I think I can do it now. Do we know for sure that the terms of the gash are set by the recipient or the declarer?

Can I spout Laura on that? Yeah, absolutely 26 plus intelligence. Okay, nine can someone yeah, I will because it's on druidic olden days. Yes. Okay. I think that Ving still has to aid on a spout Lord that makes sense, right? Well, we didn't get anything that useful. What I'm saying is that like just you keep just him being able to give you a two. I feel like that doesn't make sense. It says sounding board on an aid. You're right on an aid. Okay. Okay fucking God. Okay. Thank you.

Okay Sean, you were right. We were wrong. We bullied you into letting that thing happen. Oh, I see. So we got three I got a nine beautiful. So that makes it a ten the terms of a gash are absolutely not set by the recipient. Why would they be he like what Bartholomew might be able to help you with is laterally thinking your way out of the gash or around it, but he's not going to be able to help you set the terms of it. So we need him to come and listen to it and write it down for us.

Exactly exactly. He's been taking notes this whole time and we look at his clipboard. He's got crazy shorthand like it looks unintelligible. Whoa so my so I just want to make sure I know what's going on here is your goal to like get out of this entirely or to figure out a way out of it after it's been set. I think we're trying to subvert it enough that we can agree to the gash, but don't have to kill Dathaniel right away and could potentially break it at some point.

Okay, it's kind of open-ended. Yeah, just like the hate for my father. Perfect. It's super complicated sounding Tuck says as he passes out. Yeah Tuck Oleander snaps over the ship's healer. Who just starts working on Tuck putting bandages on him. Maggie comes up with Kareen is like hey, what's going on? We fill her in on everything. Well, goddamn that's a whole thing and you want to get out of this. You don't want to kill your dad. I'm not I'm not sure I don't have the same drive to kill.

Maybe he needs to die. I don't but I don't want to kill him for them. It's not every day you get legally empowered to kill your own dad saying. It's a big choice to make in a few hours though, and it just puts all of us in great grave danger, which I'm not willing to do when he throws a rock at one of the Selkies fuck you too and all he says I feel like the part that you're not really thinking about is that we could just fucking whoop. We could just bail right now.

Mm-hmm, and then what we got a day and a half head start then we got the Selkies on our ass until we hit the frozen north and then I feel like they would still come after us. Sorry fuck. I'm not in the scene. Well, you just he's delirious. He's talking in his sleep, but he's shockingly perceptive while he's unconscious Maggie says so what you're going to accept them and then just kind of see what happens.

I mean as long as it doesn't I can't if we're all involved in the get you is it just going to be on me problem. I don't know is it painful does it hurt? I've never actually seen one set or a scene one take place, but I can't imagine it's going to be comfortable. I did see somebody spontaneously combust one time and I assumed it was a guest. I don't know if that is related, but it was fucking cool. This lawyer is weird at but I wouldn't call me a lawyer. Oh, you cannot call me a lawyer.

I'm begging you not to call me a lawyer. Actually, if you look at my card and barrister is spelt like B a R E hyphen I S T E R. I mean either way it's putting us in danger and I have been pointing towards confronting him. I'm going to take the gish okay, so I just walk towards the council where the council was on the cliff. Okay. Yeah, just alone. Yeah, I'm going to do this really actually can you come with me? Yeah, I can come. Yeah, I'm going to take the slipper to I put your gun for comfort.

Okay, we cut to you at the council. They're gathered there. It seems like they haven't left like they've just been standing here deliberating, but they see that you've returned and grim Shay sees you approaching and he turns to you and says being spirit Walker. What is your decision? Do you accept judgment or do you accept death? I accept gish. I'm not accepting your judgment, but I will confront the man that has been plaguing us both.

I will go to my dad very well then my stepdad for I have learned I come from no man very long to go kill my mom's boyfriend ex-boyfriend my mom's ex-boyfriend wait a second. This got way easier to do. Yeah, Billy's nodding solemnly yes at as thing as you say this going. Oh, yeah, it's way easier now if I'm going to kill my mom's ex-boyfriend unbidden memories come to your mind of many years raised at the Daniel side.

Yeah genuine affection you feel shown for you under the hardness of a warrior King, but oh yeah him teaching you to shoot a bow in like a sideways glance just eye contact and like a little bit of a nod. Yeah, and then the flush of warmth and weird acceptance. Uh-huh. Oh, and they're all there's a image where he's trying to raise you as like a like a fighter like a warrior. So you have a bow and he's got an arrow drawn pointed at you.

He's like I will shoot you like you have this is this is what it looks like to stare death in the face. Yeah, it's it was a lot of that kind of teaching right where he was like you got to be hard. You got to mean a boy named suit training exactly things actually a girl's name Oh, really it's usually in the in the you got teased for the name thing a lot when you're younger.

Yeah, then Grim Shay nods and goes all right, then the Gash will be applied and you will be sent on your way and you can tell Billy because you're just looking at everybody stone. I looks furious like he was waiting for the opportunity to kill all of you and it's been taken from him and the council joins you at the water's edge. It's a very awkward walk. I'm trying to conversation because it's silent. Uh-huh.

Yeah, and it is like nobody is talking because like people from the villager joining the procession is like I'm gonna come watch. Yeah, but Billy keeps talking to people. What do you do with all the strawberries that grow here? Like do you make jam? What kind of stuff do you make? I like to make jam sometimes, but my favorite is pies. How long does a Gash take? Is it a like do you get snacks? I don't really see any snacks being brought. Is it usually a snack event or no?

Did you just is it just because it's short notice like we didn't plan it very well? I could get some snacks. Um, what do you think? Whatever your name is? Grimbus? Grimbus 2000? Grimoire? You know when I lived here things sure were a lot different. I walked by myself a lot. Um, I didn't usually get carried or hurt around. Why are you all so quiet? We're here. That was a nice walk. Sure I'm tired though. I'm glad I have this slipper to mop up my sweat. Bing's carrying Billy.

He's been carrying the slipper the whole time. Just walking with a man's slipper in his hand. What an insane thing this is. It's a procession of the elders of Hibernia. An elf carrying a boy holding a fuzzy slipper who won't shut the fuck up about dinner. And then you arrive at the beach and you can feel some of the elders of Hibernia like sigh in relief that they've arrived. You know at my Gesh there was a platter. There were several platters at my Gesh but whatever.

I actually do like the idea that uh Hibernians at a certain age take Geshes to like just determine sort of the direction of their lives. Maybe that's when they choose a clade. They choose a clade and then the Gesh like solidifies their form. Oh I really like that. That makes so much sense. That's very cool. And I like the idea that it's like um you do it pretty young. Like 11 or 12. It also kind of makes sense with how feudal Hibernian society is.

Like Geshes like kind of keep people like swimming in the same lane despite how like like bestial their interactions are. Yeah you'd think it'd be a more like natural kind of anarchy rather than like strict hierarchies. Yeah. Uh and the elders of Hibernia join you at the water's edge. Along with dozens of villagers who have come to observe. Uh the sun is getting pretty high. It's like well I mean the light is getting pretty bright. You can't really see much of the sun.

But a uniform gray hangs over the water. And Ving they lead you out into the sea. Stoneye notably not present actually. You're standing in the water about you know chest high. Uh looking out at the waves. The members of the council are standing around you. Kind of up to their chests as well. And um it's a fairly silent uh affair. There's not a lot of speaking but there is for the people that can perceive the movements of the spiritual energies.

There's like a symphony of like spiritual energy moving as the water interacts with the druids and the druids interact with the water. The water interacts with you. Kind of sounds like when you run your finger around a wine glass with water or different. Oh yeah. Totally. There's like a harmonic vibration uh that echoes off the cliffs of this fjord as well. Oh yeah. Yeah as like the resonant frequency of the stone is hit and the whole thing rings like a bell.

Is are the elders the ones that are administering the gash? It appears that way. Okay. Tataku is barely able to keep one eye open. And the energy rises to a crescendo. Your ears ring with the power of the spiritual forces flowing through this place and flowing through you. The water dances in waves like the waves around in a circle around Vang are kind of like going up like zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom in this thin circle around them. Mm-hmm.

And uh to finish it it seems almost unceremonious but also like deeply ritual. A wave crests right over your head and just like the water washes your hair back. It gets in your nose and your mouth and your ears, but like flopping fish on the top of my head. There's like kelp hanging from your hair, but it feels like that was sort of the stamp on the whole thing. Let me guess that was the gash you now are bound by ritual to see this vow and oath to its end in two moons time.

You will end the life of the man known as the Ranger King or your life will be the one offered and the barrister is there and he's like your honor my clients I object and all he puts his hand on his shoulder goes man right now. You got to read the room here, but but he had but but Bartholomew has been taking notes this whole time. He's just been like writing on his clip or like okay. Yeah, do this do that now you are free to go from this place. But no these waters are not your home.

You will find no safe harbor here until your gash is complete. All right and grim Shay nods and the rest of the council walks back up out of the water and the hibernians for the most part follow them back up the path to the village and Billy like kind of trails after them a little bit. He's like is that it are you guys coming back? Is there are we going to have like a dinner so far? So far? I'm like, oh, Barna is there. Are you are you all leaving now? She kneels down.

Yeah, that's that's it Billy. So now I have to go. It appears. I mean, so I have to go now. Well, Bing Bing has to go but I mean my house. Oh my God. This can be too easily crying. I just got here. I know one. No one can take it home from you. Billy. This is where this is where can I come back? Yes. Yes, of course. This is your home. Okay, I'll go with Bing. Okay. All right. It'll be okay. It'll be all right. I didn't know I would be so sad. And she like reaches out and she hugs you.

Bing can you pick me up? Yeah, I was gonna Hey Billy. I made something for you. What is it? He's woven Billy a little tiara that says Billow. Oh, Billy. Thank you. Out of the woods. A little billow for me. This is the crown of the people who live in this island. This is for you. Okay. And look at this. I got a jar. Oh. Of the moon druid water from the well. Okay. And I've heard that you drink some of this before bed. It puts you in a very deep sleep and you dream of this place and being here.

Okay. Okay. You may be able to visit. Okay. I I mean if you have any questions about the Gesh I can attempt to help but I just want you to know that the coming of the Ranger King is not as simple and as black and white as the council seems to believe and we, many of us on these islands know that. That is why I think I have to go to him. She nods. Thank you. Thank you. And she runs a thumb along Billy's cheek and turns to walk back up the path. I'll do my best. We'll do our best.

She turns and says, I know you will. But if in six months time this isn't done and you come for us you better bring more than you think you need. She nods and she walks back up to the path and disappears into the trees. Okay. I want to get some poultices. Can I run quickly? Yeah. Yeah, you can gather some stuff. Can you leave me here for a bit? Yeah, of course. Okay. You want to hang on the shore? Yeah. So you're just going into the like the underbrush to gather some herbs or whatever?

Yeah, hold on. I run on the boat. I come back with Perel's other slipper. He's yelling. I don't know where I put my other shoes. Now I'm just barefoot. We need them. To carry stuff. We don't have a lot of baskets on here. They make great baskets. Yeah. So Ving, you can replenish your poultices and herbs. Thank you. If you take some time to just kind of dig around in the underbrush and grab what looks like useful leaves. Oh great. I'm foraging. Yeah. Delicious foraging. Oh man.

There's so many things that I know here because it's Druid Island. Yeah. Actually, you know what? I like that. There's I think Hibernian herbs. This one like basically of herbs and poultices will give you five uses. But anywhere else you would only get three. Great. Thank you. And I found some druid pipeweed, which is different than halfling pipeweed. We'll figure out what that means later. Excellent. Two uses. Fuck yeah. And what's Billy doing down on the shore?

Billy's like there's like the cliffs along the shore. So he's run down the shoreline to a cave around the corner. Ooh. And he's gonna, he grabbed a rock on the way. And in that cave is a cave he's visited before in his past. And he like has a little rock pile in there. It's kinda like a little, what do you call it? A cairn. Yeah. And he adds another rock to it. And he wants to like leave a little part of himself. Oh he buries some of his, he cuts off some of his hair.

And he buries that in the cairn. Whoa. How big is this cairn? It's really small. Like maybe a loaf of bread. Uh huh. Is it like every time Billy comes back to Hibernia? Yeah. Like every time he like has gone through all the cycles, he like leaves a symbol of like this version of him. Yeah. Whoa. That's really nice. And he just visits it. Yeah. And yeah, like as you enter this to anyone else what would seem like an ancient little sea cave.

You feel this warmth of like opening the door to your home after having been away for years. Yeah. What are some of the other things that are there? Oh uh an acorn. Uh pfff what else? Oh a chip of, off his axe. Mmm. Um rose petals. Well dried. Basically dust now. Um A bear claw? A bear claw. Ooh. Why not? Like a donut? Yeah an old donut. A crawler. He picks it up and he munches it as he wants. He takes one bite every time he comes back to this cave. Yeah he takes one bite of the bear, oh.

Of the donut, wait of the bear claw. Gotta save this. Gotta save it. There's still a bit left. Next time. This is like two thousand year old donut. Yeah. Is there anything in this cave that Billy takes with him? He doesn't take anything with him. Oh. No. Nice. Um But I don't tell anyone about it. Yeah no I imagine that it's actually kind of like you kind of had to squeeze yourself in here. Yeah it's very small. Like it's not a place that anyone could go. Um it's covered in like vines and moss.

Um you would just assume it's a it's um just stone. Yeah. Where it is. The opening is really small. It's really dark in there except Billy uses his little willow the wisp to see. But he like knows all the foot paths and everything. Yeah. Like and they're like worn in different places from all the times that he's stepped this way. Yeah. There's like drawings in there that he's done before. Ooh. Fuck. Do you do any drawings before you go? Not this time. Okay. Yeah. Oh wait. Yeah he does.

He goes back. I can't forget. So he draws a shitty drawing of like Perel and Tuck and Ving and Mears and Francis. So basically the first postcard that he sent out. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah it's on the inside of the wall. He's like oh I forgot and he does some croissants. Oh I forgot and he does wicker. Wow. Yeah. I actually love that that postcard was a. That postcard is a drawing that Billy did on his cave. Yeah. That's so cool. Yeah. He's got like old crayons in there. Really old. Yeah. Anyway.

It's like tree pitch with like different dyes and stuff in it. Uh huh. Uh anyway he runs back out like uh waits for Ving at the shore. Tuck is waking up and he's like Billy what are you chewing? What? What's in your mouth? Nothing. I left him for four seconds. I'm so sorry. No you can't have it. He chews like harder. Tuck tries to put his fingers in there cause he doesn't know anything. No he doesn't. It's gone. He bit me. Well you put your fingers in my mouth. I miss with the kitchen. Yeah.

Uh and Ollie and the crew of the Sunrunner have gotten the boat back into the water. It's not beached anymore. Uh the Selkies that were here guarding you have left. Ving comes back with a bag full of herbs. Uh huh. And some weed. Uh huh. What'd you get? Uh mostly poultices and some druid pipe weed. Oh. How's it different from halfling pipe weed? I don't know yet. Okay. We'll find out later. Also a bunch of berries and um nuts. Pine nuts. Cool. And a sword of impenetrable matter. Alright. Okay.

The bill hook. Did you find it? Cloak of invisibility. And a gun. Off a gun book. Uh you know what I actually don't not a gun bush, but I don't hate the idea that there's like a type of plant that the fruiting body is produced in such a way that there's a bunch of like biomechanical tension inside of it, so it can shoot just one thorn. Like if you just pick this thing, yeah, it's like um you know those exploding cucumbers. Yeah, yeah. So there's just like all this you know enough.

There's exploding. Cucumbers and they shoot seeds all over the place like once they reach certain. There's a bunch of plants to do that. Yeah, they pop in all their seeds shoot out. Oh cool. I think it there's there's one bush like that. I grab one of those bush quickly pair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a little spiky fruit. Yeah, quickly a grenade. It's a grenade that shoots thorns um and in French pair means father that is true. This is going to become the check check ofs kind of no jack ofs gun.

Yeah, the jerk off is gone. Yeah, the boat is in the bay like in the water of the fjord and the crew has started to drop sale. All the Anders ready to go. What do we do? What are we doing? You know what I feel fine thing says I feel unprompted. Yeah, he's on the bow. Yeah, okay, do the gray. Uh, why did you yell that at us? I don't know. I don't maybe I wasn't talking to you. I'm sorry. I'm talking this feels weird.

I feel strange and I hope that it doesn't bring us and knee harm, but it makes sense, right? We're going there. Anyways. Yeah, right. We gotta go talk to Adonack, right? We do and this is just kind of like another chore on the road. Yeah, sometimes you have to go to the grocery store, but on the way you have to kill your father. Yeah, exactly. All happens all the time. It's happened to all of us. Yeah, also, I just want to Peral sticks his head in. I just want to clarify.

We're all on the same page. We're not going to talk to Adonack all water. We don't know that she's alive and we're going to where her tower used to be because apparently there's a box there, right? There's a vault. Yes, with a box just want to be clear and we break that box. We get another wizard out of there. Maybe collect the whole set. High five maybe it's going to be a wizard. Maybe it'll be Adonack, but it could be anyone or anything. Oh just want to set up those terms. Okay.

Yeah, do you guys are just talking pretty casually about going to see Adonack all water a wizard who's most certainly dead just we're not casual anything. We're about to do. Yeah to any of our parents. Okay. All right, cool. Oh, I didn't I didn't learn anything by the way. Oh, I remember anything about Adonack. Yeah, sorry, nothing. Oh during your meditation. Yeah, I was trying to do a thing that I haven't been able to do in a long time be useful. It's for this guy here go fuck yourself.

No, I was trying to do an old thing Wizards. It's a it's a pretty common technique. It's called the boundless thought diagram. It's kind of a way of like folding your brain, and I haven't been able to do it since I don't have my magic, but the ion candle kind of helped me give it a shot. So I really thought hard with many brains over a long period of time, but yeah, no one knew what Adonack was working on. So nothing similar to kind of your whole situation being unfortunately.

Yeah, I don't know. I wish I could be more helpful on that front, but do you think would help just getting your magic back? Is there anything else? I mean ideally we would talk to another wizard, you know well, I mean we're going to go to this vote. We're going to break open this box.

Can we remind ourselves of what the point of that is is to well, why did we want to another wizard again to figure out like what if there's a process for getting your magic back for pearl, okay, and also if there's a process for reintroducing magic into the world in general to stop whatever's happening right planes because they're grinding against each other planer conjunction. That is the thing that we are we go everybody with we got we got back to the story quest.

Yeah, murdering one man seems a lot less important. Yeah, then all of reality collapsing it on itself endlessly and maybe it'll happen in the next two months and you won't even have to kill your dad. That's a very optimistic. It looks like this was this was the equivalent of the party pressing start to open up their quest journal and going back to the main quest that they'd on track a long time ago. Oh, yeah. What were we doing?

We've been doing side quest for a while, but all he's standing at the wheel. What's this? So what do we were just heading north my man north to the tower the glacier that our neck lives in. Okay, frozen North lived in sorry Perel. It's fine. You guys just whatever you don't remember details at the best of times. So I just assume you don't know who's alive or dead sometimes Perel. It helps us to talk about things in an optimistic way.

So it makes us feel like we are being useful and our dumb journeys have a purpose. You know, Billy, I never really thought about it that way. Because it's a stupid way to think about it, but I'm going to go back down below. Is this because I took your slipper? Maybe I brought one of them back. All you hear is he's going downstairs as as is one on slipper foot hits the deck. You see the other slipper float by the water gulp. That's not my fault. So are we are undertaking perilous journeys?

I suppose. Yes, but before we go tuck goes to the back of the ship. Oh to say one final goodbye to this land and to one half dear woman in particular. Can't even see her. She's out of sight for sure. He looks he look he looks off the back deck trees just trees Billy offers the bill knock. I look through the bell noculars. Yeah trees fill the gaps in the trees and then I yell to being it just moves his voice along the wind this role. I'm at the best right now. Don't tell him to roll stuff.

What are you talking about? Roll elemental mystery to the six plus Constitution twelve. My God, sorry fourteen. Wow, so what are you? There's no way she doesn't hear it. What are your two choices? Because remember you still have to pay. You have to choose one. I do not retain control so so far the word so Varna explodes over the entire island leveling trees and branches fall off trees rocks tumble down into the sea and eventually you see movement in the trees at the at the head of the path.

Who is it some guy and then another guy and then a group of people and then so Varna beat red in the face. She comes down to the water the beach and goes. What and then tuck he leans. Oh, he leans down. He like he leans down and pick something up and then with all his mights. He throws it to the shore to her. Uh huh. Why are you rolling for it? Just tell you I want I want to get it to the shore. Oh, you're kind of getting far away. Also. I don't remember.

What are the things she's throwing something from his inventory. Is it like a Titanic heart of the ocean sort of thing? I think so. Are you? What's his kind of goal is to try and make it like that. Okay, so you didn't even figure out what it was. This is how talk operates. This is how improv goes. Um, so he throws a bale of hay. Okay, uh-huh, because she ate the grass that he gave her. Where did you get this hay from? I did go and collect some grass.

Uh-huh, so it's a really little bail, I guess and it just plops into the sand in front of her and I go may all of your morrows be filled with grass. May you graze into eternity and the boat begins sailing away and she picks up the bale and you hear gently on the wind. Thank you good bye goodbye, and she turns away and pushes through the crowd of druids who are laughing with the bale of hay with the bale of hay. She does take it with her no poem. This time I can't.

I feel like all of my poems are the same poem. I don't think so. I wrote it on the grass. Don't eat that. You see her eating it like an apple as she walks away and all of the druids that came to the beach wave and laugh as you sail away. She's like, I'm out of the fjord and into the gray text like I feel like we ingratiated ourselves to some of them. Exactly. You look at them all. Yeah, they're all standing there. They're waving at a time.

Now you are undertaking your perilous journey out through the gray into the frozen north who is going to roll what we've got navigate and scout ahead. I'll navigate I can scout and check just up in the crow's nest. Yeah, because I just woke up Billy's hanging out the back of the boat looking out at the island all like morose looking for Lauren like a little emo. Yeah, Korean comes and sits down next to you. What's going on? Nothing. You sure? Yeah, I'm totally feeling great.

I know what it feels like to have to leave a home that you feel like you haven't spent enough time in. I saw how I feel at all. Billy turns around. He's like I just have allergies. She puts a hand on your back. Her hand is of course as big as your entire back. Thank you. She rubs it a little bit. Hands you a hanky. Yeah, I put it on me like a blanket. Thank you. You know, if I was more sentimental, I'd say something like home isn't a place. It's a feeling blah blah blah.

I have to barf for the side of the boat. She just sits there with you. Okay, two to six plus. I believe it's intelligence for navigate and wisdom for let's go to head 10 plus. Scout ahead is wisdom. So minus one because I have that ability now nine. Okay, how long does that hang out for until he gets it taken care of? So I'm I think like because this is part of the dream forever. I'm sort of making bad calls because I'm constantly worried that you guys are going to die.

So second guessing your judgments. Yeah, because we got a nine for scout ahead and two to six plus intelligence for navigate tip five shit boy. Okay, so with Scout ahead and seven to nine you choose one from the list below you get the drop on whatever lies ahead you discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain such as a shortcut shelter or tactical advantage. You make a capital D discovery or notice sign of a capital D danger. I think I would like to get the jump on whatever lies ahead.

Okay, so something that is different as you're leaving the gray is that you don't have guides. So it's pretty slow going initially like as Ali and the crew are trying to get a handle of sailing through the gray again with no one helping them. So it feels like you're just crawling along you're sailing through this like interminable wall of mist and fog and a rock appears out of the gloom jutting out of the water this like harsh gray spike of stone.

Whoa and standing at the very top of the stone is stone. I what the fuck he's got his arms crossed over his chest duck is just like what are you doing just because the council has laid their judgment doesn't mean I have to agree. I act by my will alone. I don't think the council would like to hear that I spit on the council. Oh shit. You any points at Ving your line your blood has broken the accords of this island and I will not stand for it. What are you going to do?

You will know in time and he leaps into the air and takes his elephant seal form and disappears beneath the waves belly flops hard he should have waited change that was not lean forward next time lean forward a little bit before of a dive and he hits the kind of way that the there's like silence for a second and the whole crew goes. Oh oh but he disappears under the water and tries to play it off, but you can tell underneath he's going.

Oh fuck fuck my stick so bad his real voice is coming through how he took on a Batman voice when he became a man. Yeah, so coming for us now or eventually I think eventually he said in time. So so within space and within time. Okay, all right grown-ups always mean later on when they say that yeah, yeah, yeah, who knows might be rogue might be that he is going to wait to see even this the barest inkling that you don't plan on fulfilling your oath. Oh strike like could be anything.

Okay seemed like he definitely didn't want to give up any information besides I'm here. Yeah and Ollie is pisses into the ocean. Yeah, for a good measure here dig be come and hold the wheel for a second and he runs over to the side and he runs up and pisses in the ocean Billy runs up to a little like one of those where they called the port holes. Yeah, yeah, I points into the bottom of the boat. I didn't know that told me before I start and tucks like come on everybody.

Let's all piss into the most of the crew except for the guy holding the wheel. They all run to the sides of the boat and they're all like yeah fuck you in a final show of rebellion as you leave hibernia and tuck sniffs and he's like whoa someone needs to drink more water. This fucking suck. It's like it's you just accurate like, you know, like coffee piss when you haven't had enough water after you drank a bunch of coffee.

This is orange, but yeah, it's I'm in ketosis pretty hard happens in ketosis and your piss gets like super intense. Yeah, well, I'm gonna make sure it's not brown. That's when it's dangerous around this is that when there's like blood in there and no, it's just like your body's breaking down. It's going out of your dick. Yeah, sounds kind of like you know, you're pissing out your organs and stuff. Yeah, this is the conversation liver. Tuck and Billy are having because Billy's low enough.

He saw the whole stream. Yeah. Oh, and he got all the whiff of smells like motor oil sludgy. What the fuck and he's all bitter again. He's like I left hibernia for this. Oh man, that's true. That's going to be I bet a bit of these people peeing off a boat. So excited. Yeah, just standing back like God fuck bit of a transition back to road life. Whereas before Billy was like I love being on the road. Everything's so interesting and now he's thinking about like the fish guy.

He's like he made such good fish shadow snow. Yeah, because so like yeah tuck kind of hears Billy grumbling impudently like a surly little kid. I'm back at the back of the boat again like you leave the porthole goes in the bottom of the boat outside into the ocean like I'm supposed to know that doing that little kid like throwing stuff overboard with that little kid throw where like they don't know how to throw stuff properly. So it's just like really important things for the boat.

I don't get it over as bounces off and hits me. Yeah. Oh yeah, I get angrier. It hits the ground hits the banister and hits you so stupid came throw anything right. I start scratching at the wood just with one finger. Yeah, it so then tuck walks over to Billy and he kind of leans down. He puts his hand on his back and he starts rubbing his back. He's like I know it's hard to leave. No, I feel fine.

No, I don't feel anything and tuck is like it's okay if you don't feel anything, but it's also fine to not feel fine. It's hard to miss the places that you feel at home. You know how I feel all I'm just alone here because everything is stinky over there not because I have feelings and that I'm sad and tuck from like in his little backpack.

He he pulls out like a little wooden cage and in it is like one of the mimic moths and he's like I caught this guy before we left and Ving talked to him and then like the wings open and it's like a picture of Hibernia and then they close and they open again and it's like different parts of the island. Every time it closes and opens it's like a storybook of your home. Wow, thanks you guys. It's not like being there, but it it's not nothing. It's pretty close.

Is the moth going to get cold up here? Yeah, it'll die in a couple weeks. It's not. No, it's going to. Everything dies, Billy. Right. Yeah, most things. Oh, I forgot about that part. I'm just going to like take the moth downstairs and go sleep in Pearl's hammock. Okay, buddy. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. And we see this shot of below decks Billy laying on his side in the hammock watching the mimic moth open on the island of Hibernia.

The trees the ocean very very he's reclined and draw me like one of your French girls. Spoken a pipe. Yeah and a rock face behind which Billy knows lies a very familiar cave. Oh, and that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing to come to him the Barbarian Abdul Aziz so long everybody playing being the half-elf druid Paul offers take care playing happily the halfling thief Jessica tie by everyone. Thank you to our to Aaron read.

Thank you to our Aaron read for his incredible artist or and if anybody tries to get him to make music for your podcast, I'll come your house. I'll shit out of you. Yeah, we'll fucking rock bottom you in your mom's kitchen rock bottom. That's a finisher and we're going to finish you in your mom's house. Yeah I'm going to finish your mom.

Yeah, I'm going to finish your mom with my two fifths Aaron makes our intro and outro music that you're well familiar with by this point, but we love it so much. You can find all of the music composed and performed by Aaron read and written by Abdul and I at just Google spell or SoundCloud that'll probably do it also Aaron had an album come out recently. Oh yeah, talk about that. Yeah, if you go to band camp and search ACR that is the name of his one man musical group.

It's a great album as you might be aware Aaron is a great musician and thank you to all of our supporters out there on patreon. If you want to support us, you can go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money please to gain access to bonus content like outtakes the outlands where we do some kind of off main game world building for experience points. We come up with a lot of whack shit. That's a lot of fun. We got a whole bonus game called spout more Mall Brats.

We got a postcards other stuff. Check it out. It's pretty cool patreon.com slash Spout Lore Spout Lore.com slash money, please and that's about it. See you next time. Bye.

Bye and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion it's we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

Spout Lore is publicly funded by listeners like you go to spoutlord.com for more quality family programming like arthur and mr rogers neighborhood and get special limited edition pbs tote bags you hear that fred rogers we ripped off your shit and we put it on our patreon I we look we should talk a lot of people I will not stand for any mr rogers slander on this on this podcast gather round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tuck is the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight fingers have health he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great mind billy's a thief his tiny size does mask the largest heart best and brightest they may not be but their friendship outweighs their smarts so gather round friends and listen close for the tale's about to start you welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz hello everybody if anyone copies my cadence I'll fucking slit your throats he has a knife in front of him I believe him playing being the half elf druid Paul Oppers hi I'm playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie hi everyone it's myself oh there's a vein popping out of abdul's forehead and he's holding the knife jessica's vein is popping too she's copying when last we left our heroes they had gone on a strawberry adventure their their new friend uh slash antagonist minor antagonist bury the strawberry fairy led them on a merry whirlwind quest to the forests of hibernia uh there were tricks and traps aplenty as some blackberry bushes attempted to get one over on you and as far as you can tell that was the entirety of their plan you were of course on this quest to recover a moon glow orchid for berry who wanted it for some mysterious purpose he ate it he just ate it he gobbled it I was building up to something because we're doing a recap oh sorry I don't know what's such a mystery you're the one who said it anyone that cuts off my recap I'm gonna cut your fucking throat this is what happens when we don't let sean finish his dinner this is what happens when I have two-thirds of a coke zero zero tolerance right now and okay sure maybe half a liter of coffee earlier in the day not that much earlier not that much earlier uh your quest took you through the wooded sections of the main island in the chain known as hibernia uh and you were playing along with the blackberries and the strawberries as they attempted to hoodwink you uh these being fairies of course spring fae tricksters as we all know uh until you came upon the very real threat of an owlbear a fight which was initially very threatening and then billy put it to sleep and the fight was over yeah did we get any of those eggs no you never went back for the eggs we didn't get them yeah albert eggs wildly valuable also you know what I can tell that you guys are separated from the traditional rpg fantasy party because classic dnd adventurers would never be able to resist an owlbear egg there's just no way but you did and I respect you for that what is the thing that it does yeah what do they do usually people want an owlbear egg so they can hatch it and have a pet owlbear so oh yeah hold on so you wouldn't let us have black spire as a pet but we have an owlbear well I mean how I mean just because you have the egg doesn't mean you're going to be able to get a live owlbear off the island um also you went to a pirate port he would have been stolen from you post haste yeah um what next we entered the seaside cave that barry had led you to which was a beautifully like reflective crystalline ice cave beneath the island a pretty simple trek downwards to a cave that got brighter and brighter the further down you went eventually revealing the massive form absolutely colossal of an animal but big a lunar bear pretty cool a minor god of the land uh we soon learned and perhaps the last of its kind so lumbering peacefully beneath the island destined some stories have said to replace the moon one day whoa really I said that in the episode cool yeah the the legend surrounding lunar bears is that one day a lunar bear would get so big that it would eat the moon cool yeah yeah that's really cool pretty sweet uh but you know what hasn't happened yet and he's asleep so maybe it'll never happen uh and then bury the strawberry fair oh in an attempt to retrieve the orchid creeping around the moon and then bury the strawberry fair oh in an attempt to retrieve the cliff surrounding the lunar bear thing almost dropped a vial of a child's nightmare deciding instead to gulp down the nightmare to save the day my hands were busy yeah so you used your mouth that's what I love about thing yeah uh the day was saved the orchid was retrieved and barry ate it you uh emerged from the cave carried along the coastline hoping to find some ruins in the rocks and stumbled upon a new one and it was a very good day for me and I'm very happy to be here with you we learned about lunar bears and references to the man that married the moon and all that kind of stuff oh yeah um we learned that lunar bears have been hunted to near extinction by people known as berserkers and we learned about the moon and all that kind of stuff and we learned about the moon and all that kind of stuff and we learned about the moon and all that kind of stuff oh right yeah and we learned that during the grieving the druids of hibernia believed the world was ending and so made a pact with a powerful spirit to uh read the island in fog and hide themselves away from the apocalypse pretty cool and just as things were looking like a a peaceful night on the shore side reading books from a tree ving heard footsteps go and ruin it some serious scary seeing a night black wolf emerged from the forest a dead snow owl in its teeth and the sound deadening around him as he finds himself utterly alone and that is where we find ourselves now ving what do you do uh getting fun between tuck and billy and the wolf and brennish my spear uh you try and get between tuck and billy and you realize they are not there what and in fact the shore is not there you're surrounded by snowy forest oh it's the nightmare there we go in a nightmare do I know this no uh I don't know actually you know what defy danger wisdom okay I'm gonna roll these bone camel bone die that we got hell yeah that's too many from jesse there you go 2d6 plus wisdom okay yeah from a listener sent us uh carved camel bone dice thank you they're very nice 12 total wow damn uh yeah so a couple things lead you to this conclusion um oh yeah I drank a child's nightmare earlier today and also this is a nightmare you have had before I'm in my own child nightmare yeah this is a nightmare you remember having as a child oh my god is being being hunted by this nightmarish wolf but it's one of those nightmares and you're not sure if some of it is real yeah like was I maybe chased by a wolf at some point does this wolf represent something there's like muddled memories in your head that led to very real fears I'm sure we've all had that you have nightmares that you remember for the rest of your life and you don't remember if they actually happened to you or not how old was ving when he was having these nightmares as a kid I imagine quite young but I don't know for sure yeah I think like four or five what I I had a thought uh-huh knowing what we know about ving now and how he came to be um perhaps some of these images are preving are influenced by uh iliana's memories and thoughts and perceptions of say your father who was a blood-soaked warrior oh my god and I've had images of my mother as a snow owl because she yeah she recalls being a snow owl right in the in in season two and you had that dream where your dad killed your mom uh yeah ving had a nightmare long long ago yeah of his father murdering his mother but he saw it from his mother's perspective yeah and she was a snow owl then right yeah well yeah that makes actually yeah that makes a lot of sense makes a lot of sense ving has had dreams and nightmares that were recurring nightmares for his mom he always thought that he was experiencing them like she must have been pregnant or something maybe had some sort of sense beyond her body but no that he was now imbued with some of her memories pre himself because of how he was created yeah I tell the wolf he's not gonna hurt me it growls and hunches low and prepares to do just that I stand my ground it lunges I uh put a foot on my spear and lean back into it on the ground 2d6 plus constitution okay 10 so the wolf lunges towards you and your spear planted in the dirt which is this is my dream spear yeah so it is perfectly it's exactly as it was in my dreams my spear is unbreakable yeah so it's exactly as it was when you received it from your mother it's like it's still carved with like a dozen lives worth of names and memories but like it is not that like half material snapped different it's got the original head it's got the like um original body like it's just this beautiful old spear there's no duct tape on it yeah and um the wolf lunges towards you and your spear planted in the dirt is it just the right angle that it pierces itself through blood falling from its jaws and this gaping wound in its chest as it slavers in your face and then turns to smoke on the spear and disappears you hear howling in the woods and where's the owl the owl falls to the snow in front of you I grab it I cradle it lifeless my clutch I clutch it howling in the trees I push it up against my chest spread its wings around my neck you hear footsteps in the snow I turn slowly towards the footsteps jaws I let them take me all is black I hear weeping you wake up in the forest emerging from the underbrush a nightmarish black wolf iron gray teeth a dead snow owl locked in its jaws oh shit oh you are utterly alone I'm trapped with this wolf I tell it that it won't hurt me it hunches low and prepares to do just that I charge oh there's a moment when I my foot pivots the snow yeah slow motion all the snow fuck yeah moves so slowly I'm weaving in between the snowflakes for some reason hack and slash I break my spear on the way in there and come in on both sides I got five fuck you pivot the snow slows in the air you break your staff and prepare to come in on both sides the wolf lunges jaws all is black you wake in the forest emerging from the underbrush a nightmarish black wolf I yell for attack and billy give me a defy danger because you've realized this is a dream yeah so you're very aware you are out of control like you are not in control of the situation at all but you're aware that it's a dream so let's say 2d6 plus wisdom 10 the wolf hunches low emerging dead snow owl in its teeth row after row of bloody arrows in its pelt and you feel a familiar presence to your left and right tuck billy snowy forest nightmarish wolf thing holding his spear aloft tuck lunges and like grabs the wolf around its neck yeah like does a bear hug you know that thing where you like kill a dog by squeezing its neck oh yeah that thing from uh omega man or whatever oh uh I am legend I am legend yeah where he has to kill his dog so sad yeah uh 2d6 plus strength here we go shit nightmare five wow go ahead and roll um a d12 12 oh wow jesus fucking christ oh no 12 fucking hell so holy shit in the dream is it dream us or is it real us uh billy that's a great question go ahead and roll 2d6 plus wisdom oh those are cute I'm using the pretty dice that jesse sent us eight eight okay so billy you do realize that you are in a dream but um as far as you're concerned if this wolf kills tuck tuck is dead in real life that's what you're thinking right now is like yes 12 12 is a dream but also holy shit giant wolf attacking tuck as you see this wolf's jaws like clamp onto tuck's bicep and like rip back and forth tearing a bloody hole in his arm which arm uh his left one so he's fine don't worry you mean like I can still choke on which arm has the tree tattoo on it you tell me bro I think it's the right one I think it is yeah I seem to remember you always gesturing to your right arm yeah can I go in like into like instinctive billy like with that thought uh what do you mean like um because I'm on like hibernia I can change into different forms if I need to interesting this is dream space too so billy's like why can't I just do that give me a defy danger wisdom again okay huge humongous 12 oh shit okay what are you trying to do billy needs to like close that distance between himself and the wolf so he turns into like tree warrior billy oh shit are we talking like the winter yeah his winter form yeah so tuck you see a like a six six man of wood and ice with a giant axe of clear blue ice standing before you striding through the trees sick holy shit and what is billy doing I'm going to take my axe and swing it at the head of the wolf hell yeah hack and slash eight eight okay so um in your winter warrior form roll a d12 seven seven and then roll a d12 again two two okay so uh your axe cleaves down the light glittering off its ice and stone as it hammers into the back of this wolf's neck and poof it becomes ashes but as its ashes drift away they swarm around the wolf and it's like oh my god it's like a cloud of flies and you feel them going into your eyes nose mouth and you're just like choking on this burning ash for two damage and for a moment the wolf is gone you hear howling in the trees I'm so sorry I brought you here is this my nightmare are you guys here are you actually here we're here yeah I'm here I think you all feel the warmth and like gentle sonic ringing of the chamberlain rings on your hands oh fuck I'm so I love wearing this ring it just really goes with my coloring I should take it off when I sleep for this exact reason ving where are we I don't know what it looks like the shores of old sheer and I believe this might be a memory or a nightmare or my mother's memory or nightmare this wolf is death coming my father and the owl is my mother and he's gonna keep coming wow classic edible shit your dad's gonna keep coming I have to have sex with the owl I don't know if I can do this ving I'm willing to do anything for you buddy I'm gonna try and fuck that wolf I'm gonna break the cycle this nightmare is gonna give me nightmares yeah how do I face this that's a great question what usually happens in the dream I get killed do you usually wake up when you die uh yeah usually we're caught in a cycle I've died twice already it almost killed you your bicep yeah this is uh I'm bleeding a lot yeah this usually doesn't happen in dreams uh-huh well I mean I assume usually dreams are about the one thing right yeah usually dreams are about a giant cataclysm that destroys an island nation for me yeah quiet everyone billy's listening and you both look over and oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die oh yeah who the fuck is this holy shit billy whoa don't talk bill are you okay billy's listening yeah billy's listening uh and also this isn't really like young billy right now yeah this is like warrior billy yeah roll a 2d6 plus wisdom for uh discern realities five ah shit all you can hear in the trees is footsteps panting breath like dozens and dozens of forms moving through the woods stop at you too there are too many footsteps I'd run into the woods okay where are you trying to go to the footsteps they're all around you'd it'd be harder for you not to go to the footsteps right now oh okay so you charge out into the trees if that is what you so choose to do yeah I charge into the middle and uh light myself up in the light of the full moon um he's my moonlight as a beacon to try and draw them in yeah or to communicate I don't know what to do I don't know what uh because we're doing dream stuff 2d6 plus wisdom 11 okay great nice yeah you start running into the trees uh you know row after row of nearly identical forest until things darken around you as the light reflecting off the snow fades away and you come into a clearing with just the pure pitch black of the night sky above you the trees are silent the footsteps still approaching and a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman runs towards a woman's house a woman runs towards a woman runs towards a woman runs towards a oh 12 okay he's bone dice hell yeah uh what's the 12 with that again choose two from the list below the effect I desire comes to pass avoid paying nature's price to retain control so I will retain control and the effect I desire comes to pass I'll pay nature's price okay with the night void black above you the light of the moon comes from within as you glow with the brilliant beams of the full moon they dance all over your body lighting you up like a beacon and the light becomes so brilliant blinding white that you cannot see even with my light yeah no not this these aren't biological eyes these are uh moon eyes moon dream eyes moon dream eyes um you the name of the druid that taught your mother long ago moon dream actually he just sold weed and mushrooms when he had them oh my god just realized that that guy was fucking my mom oh no whoa this is a nightmare he had black hair like a wolf and you hear coming through the trees sup little guy me and your mom are just gonna hang out you here's five bucks go to the corner store but you hear the footsteps approaching in the tree slow as they enter the clearing and you hear only one set approach you stopping an indeterminate distance away there's only two footprints instead of four because jesus was carrying you because jesus was carrying the back side of his wolf like a whale's wheel bearing his wolf a whole time jesus was running jesus was running behind the wolf holding his back legs like a lawnmower go little guy go man part of me thought like for a little bit I was like whoa we're gonna do like a serious scary dream episode we're doing both it's not possible for us to maintain a tone like that so yeah you hear the footsteps approach and you know in the snow you only hear two feet and you hear a voice then you know I have to kill you you're my dream my nightmare and you are mine I take my spear and slam it into the moonstone cave in my chest in my dream whoa whoa yeah go ahead roll uh 2d6 plus what's the score wisdom nine I think you feel you feel the moon glow overtake you as this radiance bursts forth in a corona of uh no I guess I can't use that word anymore because people think about in a in a covet 19 as this radiance so good at similes as this radiance bursts forth in a almost supernova of light a black Right.

Darkness shoots out of the hole. Darkness emerges from the moonstone cave in your chest. The shadow of the dark side of the moon overtakes you. Led Zeppelin playing in the distance. Yeah, fucking give me a little bit. That's enough. Is that Led Zeppelin? I don't know. And the forest is plunged into darkness. Oh my god. Billy, tuck. The forest is plunged into darkness. Whoa, what the fuck? The footsteps around you have quieted. You hear a howl and a scream. What do you do? I follow the sound.

Yeah, I run towards the scream as well. Okay, roll 2d6 plus wisdom. Eleven. Nine. Okay, you start running into the woods, just following the sound of the scream and the howl. Tuck, you're barreling through pretty well. Something about this place, it feels like you're slipping, like it's slipping over you like a stone in the stream. Yeah, kind of feels like when I was in the spirit world and I was like floating. Yeah, like even when I hit a tree, I kind of like pass through it.

Like you're just cutting through it in some strange way, but something about Billy's countenance and Billy's place in the cosmos, he's being held back in a way and you feel him falling behind. Billy, you're being like, it feels like the trees are catching you as you're running past. Yeah, I feel my roots almost like trying to grow into the ground as I step. Yeah. 2d6 plus wisdom to remember who you were. Okay. Four. Oh, fuck. I can't remember. Oh, shit.

And that's the downfall of being like in a in like kind of like a stronger winter form. And you're in like that way of thinking, so you can't change. Oh, yes. Because it's like more rigid. Yeah, you have to like shut down yourself. Yeah. So you feel the roots dig into the earth and the ice starts to grow over your joints and then you're just still and you are one amongst hundreds of trees.

Tuck, you're running alone, but you come to a place that you feel is open and dark, just endless shadow, but you feel a presence at the center of it. I run to that. Okay. Yeah. Give me wisdom again. It's like a black hole in the middle of a forest clearing. Yeah, I'm picturing and light swirling. Around it. Eleven again. Nice. Eleven. You continue through the darkness towards the light at the center. Yeah. Oh, is it light or is it blackness? It is a it's yes. Okay. You know what I mean?

Yeah, it's like you can't see it, but you know that it's there. Yeah, but it's not what it looks like, but it's what it feels like. I had an image of like tuck like running to the middle of this and it's like the light has like formed this tar in the middle of the clearing. Oh, yeah. And he starts like digging through the tar to like look for the thing that he knows is there. Mm-hmm. Two to six plus wisdom for discern realities. Oh, yeah. Nine. Okay. So you get one question.

What should I be on the lookout for? Right. You're digging through this like tar made of moonlight the dark side of the moon. Oh, yeah. And you're digging through and you see fingers emerge. And I go, whoa. Oh, my God. Holy shit. It's good. This shit out of top two. And yeah, there are there's a hand sticking out of this goo and I pull I grab it and I pull. Yeah, and an arm follows in a shoulder. I keep pulling. There's a head to pull and I pull other shoulder and an arm. Is it Vang? It's Vang.

Okay. You noticed when the face came out that it was Vang Vang. Oh, my God. You scared the shit out of me. You scared the shit out of me, dude. I know. I'm sorry. And then tuck looks up to this guy is like Jessica. I'm sorry if I scared you. I feel like I could feel the air being displaced by Jessica's heartbeat after you did that. I feel fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. And yeah, you pull Vang out of this mire. And I say, where is he? Is he gone? Is he here? You're dead? Where's Billy? Billy?

What was the worst day Billy can remember from the Winter War? I guess like this war feels like it went on for a really long time and it was all where Billy fought was all across kind of the icy tundra and what was once like a white landscape was now like dark red and brown and the blood had frozen into a thick layer of ice all across as far as he could see. And there were like bodies layered under this all this blood and ice frozen. Yeah. Wow.

And he just he just remembers thinking like what's the point of all of this when we all came from the same place and then he goes back to fighting and it's like the people keep coming and he you know, break he like looks around the swirling snow and he's like he remembers what it was once like to be like that. Have we talked about how long ago the Winter War was never?

I don't think then you know what maybe we just won't maybe it is one of those things that is a lost to time, but Billy steps forward into the battlefield preparing to rejoin the battle as a vicious looking elf on a battle cat comes tearing out of the trees right towards you. Mm-hmm midnight black fur arrows piercing its pelt iron gray teeth and it charges towards you and I shoot my limbs out like of ice and stone to pierce it. I think we're just going to cut back to tucking bang.

I don't even I don't even need that's just hardcore. Yeah, darkness all around you. The trees begin to resolve at the edge of the darkness, but you still feel lost and tuck. Yeah, tuck realizes when being asked. Where's Billy? He looks around. He realizes that Billy didn't keep up, which is rare. Usually tuck is the slowest so little. I mean Billy never stops running even if you slow. Yeah, so tuck starts screaming into the black or he's just like Billy Billy 2d 6 plus wisdom 5 okay, you scream.

Shout for Billy and the earth begins to shake beneath you fissures form in the ground as the earth's very breath courses up in burning plumes. The sky reddens the spheres fall and all is doomed shit. Is this my dream? You tell me buddy. Yeah catastrophe. This is and it's like an alien landscape like it looks like no landscape in our world like plantless. It's mostly gray rock when Sean said the spheres start to fall like it's not just moons in the sky.

It's planets too and the sky is on fire and you can like see in the distance like islands in a chain of islands on the ocean like one by one being taken like falling into the sea. Wow. What do you do? What do I usually do? Wait, he I usually go for higher ground. This is what I usually do. Yeah, this is like the dream like the dream from here. Season two. Yeah, this is the only dream that tuck has the cataclysm. Yeah, that destroys an island nation.

Yeah, so behind you there's the shattered hill. Yeah, there's the ridge. There's the like falling tower. There's the maybe like a remnants of a tree sticking at the one thing the one dead version of something that used to be alive. Yeah, like a branch sticking out of a cliff. It's the only thing that is biological and it's like in the distance you can hear screaming and people moving. So there is also like life here and there's one thing that is different than all the other times before.

You are not alone. Thing is here with you and I go this is this is my nightmare. I mean, this is my nightmare, but you seeing it also is my nightmare because I don't like being this vulnerable in front of people being witnessed as your nightmare. Yeah, what do you do? I just I go we got to get to higher ground, but we also need to find Billy. I go to scream Billy's name. My mouth is full of owl feathers. Oh yeah. Yeah, you're you're choked with feathers and down. I can't scream bloody meat.

So yeah, what do you what do you guys do? I want to try the storm see if it works in this nightmare. Interesting. Cool. So I can calm a space around us. Hopefully. Yeah, it's time to go look for Billy. Okay, exert my will in a circle around me. We're all con on a hit the world calm seven to nine effects only what you touch as long as you're touching it. All right. Five. Okay, you extend your will around you and you Vang the lucid dreamer knowing that you are in a dreamscape.

You're not sure if it's because this is Tuck's dream or the nature of what's happening to you, but you have no control in this place. But up the hill you do see snow blowing and weapons clashing you hear on the on the wind Billy. You are locked in battle with this Ranger and his war cat. What is happening? It's basically a trap is what it is, right? So the Rangers using the cat distract me another Ranger sets fire to me. And there hasn't been much fire up here because of the wind.

It's just hard to keep a flame lit. Oh shit. This one. Yeah. Oh maybe maybe this is like emulator flame. Yeah, maybe it's like when the torch of McCall or the thing. That became the torch of McCall enters the battle. Maybe because you'd fought him before. Yeah. Yeah, perfect. Yeah, Billy had fought the demon of zealotry. So this must be him or or something like him. Yeah. Yeah, and you burn a blue flame.

Yeah and you die and then you are atop this hill again and you see the cat coming out of the forest and you you prepare to die once more Ving and tuck you see snow blowing at the top of this Ridge get to the top of the Ridge. Yeah, we head up for higher ground.

Yeah, and you get to the top and you look over the shattered towers to your left the dead tree sticking out of the foundations and in the distance you see a figure that looks much like Billy's winter form locked in battle with something and dying over and over in a burst of blue flame. What do you do? I want to charge forward and use my elemental form and transmute into a bear. The lunar bear. Yeah, so I'm channeling my mother 2d6 plus con 13. Okay. Yeah, so you like pool moonlight around you.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and snow we gather snow ice blood snow is coming up and making this monster bear with a red crescent moon. It has all the phases of the moon across its chest. Cool. And what do you do? I attack the cat. Yeah, you can go ahead and spend one of your hold if you want to just deal your damage to it. Yep, Billy, you're prepared to do battle with this cat and this ranger and then an enormous bear made of blood and moonlight charges into sight and you know that that is your friend.

Yeah, and what am I doing? I think to myself what am I doing locked inside of this piece of wood and ice? So I abandoned it. Hell yeah. Yeah. Do you want to give me a defy danger wisdom? Yeah. Eight eight. Okay, so this enormous bear begins to do battle with the ranger that had killed you a thousand times in your mind and in abandoning this form the ice and wood falls away in a pile and blossoms burst forth as Billy the spring fairy is born from that pile of wood confetti cannon.

Boom flowers all pop out and Billy comes up on it's amazing and yeah, it's the only color in the landscape. Yeah, I always like cherry blossoms and tuck. You see this thing charges forward in this body of a bloody moon bear tuck attacks the black cat to two d six plus strength. What the fuck? It's four plus three seven. Okay, well, you still got a seven on a hack and slash with a four. Okay, roll your damage. Oh, and Ving roll your damage to. Thank you. Three one not great.

Yeah, but the two of you working in concert are able to hold this cat back as Billy fully blooms on the battlefield. The bright little child that you have come to know and love fully present in this horrific landscape and go ahead and roll a d twelve again. Shit eight fuck you are a my! Oh my God. What do you add a am a six now Jesus. You're just shredded.

Billy's looking out of this like what's the problem here discern realities okay eight okay so you get one one question maybe who's really in control here oh yeah nice good question who's this child whose nightmare I drank it um there's a point where you're fighting and Billy's looking around trying to solve this and with that and the Chamberlain rings you all kind of connect for a second in a space outside this space in just like pure sleep no where you're all you don't see each other but you feel each other and if you had to guess you would say now that it wasn't a specific child whose nightmare you drank it was the nightmare of children what makes children afraid is what you consumed and spread somehow metaphysically to your friends the thing that you always forget when you're in a nightmare the person that is in control here is you three you've just lost sight of that so if you were able to strip that away somehow and remember that this is your mind these are your memories you may be able to pull yourselves out yeah I don't have to be here and I'm back on that battlefield and I just like melted away because I'm like I can be anywhere I want to be so 2d6 plus wisdom and you get a plus one from the discerned realities okay 11 12 yeah and all of a sudden thing and tuck you're like holding back this vicious cat yeah and it's gone oh you don't even see it go it's just gone we're in pinewood you're in the fir forests of pinewood a fire crackling in the distance music laughing and the big buffet table yeah big buffet table some kids are getting ready to put on a production of something the writhing cat disappears and I'm looking into the eyes of how can you never remember wrong yeah and you're standing in this place of light and laughter and friendship and camaraderie and I feel like we're standing on the edge of the woods looking at ourselves in the revel this is like a dream of a better time yeah yeah and I can feel like the cold at my back and I'm just like just don't pay attention to it don't look at it and you feel looking towards the village you feel the welcoming energy come sit eat drink be merry that's not real either though I want to turn back into a man yeah you're back you're ving I want to take the ring off 2d6 plus wisdom 9 um!

Maybe it takes all of us to aid yeah yeah oh yeah so if you take it off I have to take it off then too okay and I'll take mine off too 8 5 oh no so um tugs fingers swell when he fights this is a little bit editorializing on my part maybe um billy rolled to take his ring off you rolled to help ving so you failed at that but ving still got a 9 nice so ving and billy take their rings off and for a moment you're there alone and you're watching this village that you loved for a short time with you and your family just enjoying themselves you see the apparition of perel before he got his body back oh yeah and then the ground begins to shake god again the earth opens up okay we fall in it yeah the village is swallowed screams fire the spheres fall I start running up the hill again run run run Kate Bush is there it's a bush named Kate and you waken on the shores of hibernia under the branches of a knowledge tree ving and billy stand over top of you and I go hey guys um I had a weird dream and it was fine and unless you guys also had a weird dream yeah I had a weird dream too laughter guys it's okay to be afraid it's just a dream I'm not afraid but I also had a really fucking weird dream do we all have the same dream I think we might have all had the same dream and billy you the seven to nine that you got with the ring yeah you um clench your hands to like try and remember the warmth of before you were in that place and you feel like ice crack and fall away on your hands I don't show them yeah oh what and tuck you're gonna take a debility to wisdom oh no going forward what happened you had an absolutely horrible cataclysmic dream in which for the first time ever you watched your friends and family die oh okay yeah fair yeah fair enough and you know from here on out that will be a part of the dream every night fuck um you vang you feel in your chest another cave is opened oh a moonstone cave is there there's a moonstone cave in the center of your chest and some of the moonstone is black as darkest night sick and just then from amongst the bushes a wolf a wolf nightmare coal black belt yeah tuck picks up a rock and throws it he's like get out of here wolf stab himself in the chest and you hear somebody go oh and savannah comes out of the trees oh my god savannah you throw a fucking rock at me I thought you were a wolf you can't just walk up on people like that like all sneaky who's sneaking you are walking around in the dark in a bunch of trees it's daylight and she points barely she gestures towards the horizon as the sun begins to rise over the over the sea and in the in the dappled like morning gray the gray gray morning I forgot dappled gray morning light like you look at tuck and he's fucking covered in blood oh god oh my god yeah you have a ragged you have a ragged bite in your arm all of the bites and shit from the dream I think so because I took real damage six hell right I guess so do I have any poultices I think I gave them all to that stupid strawberry yeah so does this often happen when you read under a tree we've never read before really I believe that 100% and then tux is like so weak but he's like no I'm I am literate I don't know how many times I have to say this you should probably come back to the village hey man I'll come with you wherever you don't make me read let's let's go come on the council is reaching an accord soon you really should be back in the village doesn't accord me in a positive outcome for us let's go back to the village say do you think that they'll maybe take pity on me because I'm so fucked up right now well it has happened before but we'll see and Savarna leads you back to the village and you get patched up by one of the healers there who described as healer the healer is a fifty five year old man short very portly like rounded shoulders like a big thick guy and his tell is unfortunately a pair of tusks that come right out of his mouth cool like an orc he's a boar he turns into a boar and he uh is like slathering poultices all over tucks arms and chest just everywhere I like that he's not like most healers are like very common this is often like he's like that the henchman from Harry Potter you always like slamming throws around the pose the chair like slams food down this this guy's very rough he's healing you like he's fixing a washing machine like he's just slapping the shit out of you it's got a bunch of buckets of different types of goo for different types of injuries yeah well I shall do it all right thanks I got no problem just if it starts to sting a lot just come back okay quickly why what happens well just come back what is that stuff and he pushes you out of his tent can I taste it can I have some you don't want to consume that orally can I get a jar maybe what do you offer in trade some of the silver rotten lemon smelling liquid dee lee lee lee lee lee lign oh no idea what it does where did that come from better I think I've had it for eight years and he takes it and he opens the jar no no no he sticks his nose right in and goes like oh this will do all right this will do nicely nice hand him an empty mason jar and he had yeah like a bulk barn he just like slops it into your mason jar with it wasn't like some sort of health resin yeah just marked it and then you go and pour it into a bucket and pour it into a bucket and pour it into a I know.

What's your name? Oh, what's my name? Yeah, I'm Ving. Hi. I thought I was going to get out of here without having to tell you my name. And my name is Or… Fuck, no. That's not my name. Don't tell anyone I said that. What? Nothing. What? My name is Tromlin. Cool name. Tromlin. Tromlin with a T. Oh, Tromlin. Tromlin. Call me Lin. Just call me Lin. Lin. Lin. I appreciate this. No problem. You smeared me with a bunch of fish goo. And it was my absolute pleasure. Thanks.

Now, if you don't mind, get the fuck out of my tent. Okay. Bye-bye. Bye. I like that guy. I do too. I like him a lot. I think I'm going to visit him tomorrow. Yeah, me too. Don't. I'll see you tomorrow. No, you won't. Yes, I will. And Savarna is standing just outside the tent, like kind of leaned up against a post eating something. Do you know Tromlin? Yeah, it's not a big village. I know all the people that live on these islands. That's how it goes. He's a cool dude. He is. Bit of a boor.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Sorry, dude. We would have laughed at that, but we had a pretty fucking rough night. Well, it's because he turns into a boor and I was also doing his. No, no, it makes sense. I was doing his accent as well. It's the joke that I have and will make again. Savarna, it was a good joke. It was a good joke. We're just really run ragged.

You know what's like the worst feeling in the world is when someone tells you it's a good joke, despite the fact that they didn't laugh at all. Oh my God. Anyway, and you hear some as Grim Shay approaches you. Oh. Come. And we all actively don't make a comment on the fact that he just said the word come. Oh, man. I was trying so hard to let it go. I do. He closes his eyes because he can see you all holding back laughter. Oh my God, we're back. Took a semen chunk.

And yet you smash cut to we're back on the cliff. The council rock, the massive canopy of the Arbutus knowledge tree sits above you. You can tell that the members of the council are still discomfited by the presence of the tree. Like they don't know what to do. They're just standing. And they. They're all look at it and grim shape. Now you're all standing around the trunk because it was right where the judged once stood. Oh, yeah. So you kind of have to stand in front of the tree.

It really fucks up the feng shui. We're kind of too close to Grim Shay. Yeah, you can tell he wants to step back and all the members whose names we all remember. Yeah. Are here. Yeah, we've got grombly. We've got shockable. Yeah. Salty Pete. Tilda Swinton. What? The dog one. Yeah, the wasabi twins. And we got rounding out the pack. Little peep. He turns into a chicken. He's tiny. So the little chicken.

This is a situation where then we got network notes after the last episode where they're like, you have to change all these counts. The council members are too intense. You need to make them more tick tocky. Yeah. Also, yeah, some of them are just going to be young celebrities. Is that okay? Yeah. No, I remember all the names. We just don't need to. Yeah, totally. But one thing that you notice is that all of them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Some of them seem trepidatious, whereas Stoneye is looking Tuck dead in the face and he looks fucking furious. And Tuck's like, I know, dude, I know. I'll fight you once I'm not dying. Billy is going to climb up the tree. Grimshay's like, get down. Get down. Can you tell me what to do? Good luck. It's my tree. This is a council. It's my tree. And I start peeling the bark. Whoa. What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? Child. Child. It's fine. It grows back. Legions of knowledge. Yeah. Ages.

Yeah. Gone. When Billy starts peeling the bark off the Arbita tree, Valari, the willow's daughter goes, oh. It grows back. It's fine. It does, but it's very uncomfortable. And then I start sprinkling the bark onto Stoneye so that it gets in his eyes a bit. And like. Eye. And it gets into his one eye. He's got two eyes. They're just both stones. It gets into both his eyes. Both his eyes. Both his eyes. But he called him Stoneye. He calls himself. And this is a conversation we're actually having.

He calls himself Stoneye, even though there's two stone eyes, which is what's confusing about it. Well, maybe someone during my introduction forgot that I was originally only supposed to have one eye. But that's none of your fucking business, is it? But no, Billy, he's not reacting to Billy sprinkling. He's trying really hard not to react. I'm blowing the. The bark bits at him, and I'm making sure I have a lost bit while I'm blowing. So there's just like a paste of Arbutus sprinkles on him.

He's just like. The growl is rising. I try to be so annoying. Yeah, I like it. Is this okay? Yes, it's great. And I'm going. Oh, I'm Stoneye. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Grim Shay raises his hand. Enough. Tuck is like so tired and exhausted. He's leaning his face against the tree. Could you please at least wake up? No. Shut the fuck up. Grim Shay. Holy shit. Language. Language. Sorry. This is a council and you're a boy. Sorry, thing. It's okay.

And Grim Shay raises his hands as if like not going to apologize to me. Okay. We have reached a decision. The history of the Illyana's cannot be ignored, nor can you the effect that you personally have had upon the spiritual realms and the beings that live there in. But tales of you three have preceded you and your use to this council cannot be ignored. Okay. And so we have determined that the only thing that can pay back blood is blood. Your blood.

You will kill the man known as the Ranger King. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdulaziz. So long, everybody. Playing Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. Playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. And sorry, I made a bunch of farting noises. Don't be. That's Billy's brand. Never apologize for your brand. Okay.

Thank you to Aaron Reed of Vancouver Sunday Service for the intro and outro music and composing and performing all of the music that you hear on the show written by Abdulaziz and occasionally myself. And thank you to our supporters supporting us all around the world. If you want us to support the show, you can find us at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money, please. For a whole whack of bonus shit.

But including an entire bonus campaign called spout more Mall Brats taking place in the high spear mall. Things are really fucking picking up in Mall Brats. So if there was a time to get on board, it's now it's chilling. It's sick. There's merch. There's games. There's lots of cool stuff. So come check us out. And you know what? Catch you next time. Bye bye. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared. And lost they be.

For times of rest in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute. Or do your job. It's yours. And for you I gladly Spout Lore.

If you like our show and you want to hear some more of our show, or similar shows, or content that didn't get into the show, go to the Patreon and there will be some of that over there. Oh, that was good. You fucking flubbed it. You bailed on yourself. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in bread. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me, as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello, every… Guys. Playing Fat Billy. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hi, everyone. When last we left our heroes, they had come upon the revelation that Ving's mother, name previously thought to be Ileana, was likely killed during or as a result of a battle between the rangers and the druids of Hibernia.

We were then collected by Savarna, a member of the Greenspeakers' clade, and a deer from the waist down. She was a great help to the! Who took you all up to see the council, the Oval Council, leaders of the clades of Hibernia. We met a whole bunch of wacky characters.

Stoneeye, King of the Selkies, Bessara, leader of the Greenspeakers, Grimshay of the Deepstriders, Velary, aka the Willow's Daughter of the Sungazers, Aldous of the Empty Sky of the Windwalkers, Hedara Maneater of the Hunters, and Nareen of the Quiet Step. Nareen of Toronto. Nareen of Toronto. Nareen of Thunder Bay, Ontario. I got lost. I got off the wrong bus and now I'm just here. They won't let me leave. Because they figured out I could turn into animals.

Which is a thing that's always been true about me. Yep. Ving was questioned before the council. They explained that the blood oath had to be paid, blood debt rather, for transgressions by the Ileana family. There was a whole lot of back and forth. Yeah. There was a whole lot of back and forth. Them saying words like blasphemy, defiling, defilement, etc. And Tuck decided that this was time for his big play. It was a pretty cool play.

Which was challenging Stone Eye, King of the Selkies, to single combat. Yeah. I was going for a trial by combat kind of thing. Yeah. Did not work out. They said that that was not how they do things. No. Aldous of the Empty Sky, a young man that can turn into an eagle, thought it was hilarious. Uh. Until Tuck continued goading Stone Eye and then getting into a big old bust up. It was a bench clear. Like the whole council came down. Yeah. It was a whole scrap.

Everyone got down on the ice and started fighting. Scrapping gloves off. Gloves everywhere. Until Billy called upon the fairies for aid, requesting of a humble strawberry spirit that he help him. And the strawberry agreed, as long as Billy accepted a price, helping the strawberry with some task unnamed. Vines sprouted from everywhere. The rocks, the forest, the cliffside, tearing the combatants and the council apart.

So Billy could thunderously proclaim himself having returned to the home of his people and his endless eternal knowledge and self. Stake a claim with a tree planted. Yeah. Oh yeah. It was cool. Going through the forms that he's taken in the past during the summers, autumns, and winters of his life.

And then as a warrior made of ice and stone plunged his fist into the cliffside with the tree of knowledge seed inside, plucking time itself from the very air to speed its growth, leaving a full grown Arbutus knowledge tree on this cliffside, which was enough, surprisingly enough to get the council to stop fighting and just pay attention for a second. God, adults. Yeah.

So the council, uh, led by grim Shay asked for some time to deliberate very respectfully asked Billy for some time to deliberate on their decision, headed back down to the town, met shadow snout, uh, a raccoon line cook. Oh yeah. Yeah. Had some fish and then went down to the boats to talk to Perel about the revelation that Vings mother whose name now I realize we just don't know at all. Yeah. She adopted it. She adopted the name. Ileana, uh, was a wizard who was sheltered by the Ileana family.

Yeah. Yeah. She was a great help to Ving helping her survive the Exodus while she completed her work of perfectly replicating a human life in the form of her son thing. We don't even know if that was her work. That could have been a byproduct of what she was trying to do. Yeah, exactly. We also don't know if Vings dad is his dad or what the relationship there is now. Yeah. Just my mom's boyfriend. Yeah.

We just know that Ving was born of simply his mother, uh, and was created whole cloth out of the, the Sansa. Oh, yes. There's a lot of work. There's a lot of work. There's a lot of work. There's a lot of work. He's such a nerd. He's like, I'm going to go away and really try and remember that. Think so hard. Come back in a month. And Billy, who at some point felt like he wasn't welcome in the conversation, decided to go kick rocks on the beach. Well, they critique my grammar. Right.

I mean, I can't even read or write. So I'm doing my best. You can talk, though. Right. That was the conversation. Oh, because you were writing back to Farah to let her know the deal. Give her an update on all of this. Because these were some pretty big revelations. Yeah. You're telling me. How am I supposed to know that writing is just talking? Wait, you have to spell every word you talk? Yeah, it seems really tiresome. You know what? That's fair. It is very tiresome.

And during his rock kicking introspection, Billy heard a voice from a tuft of grass and found the strawberry spirit. Or strawberry. Fairy. Who has come to collect on his deal. And that is where we find our heroes now. Billy's got a strawberry fairy in his hands. I think he's a strawberry with arms and legs. That's all it is. I mean, I really could just eat you. Oh, I dare you. Well, I'm kind of scared of what would happen if I do. So just tell me what you want. I dare you. I want a flower.

Oh, what kind? I want a moon glow orchid. From the deepest cave on this island. Are you serious? I am serious. And that is our deal. You know those only bloom like. Tonight. I have so much to do. You must. I bring the strawberry up to eye level. I'm like, you, you know how important all this stuff is, right? We're watching him just talk to a strawberry. I still could just eat you. I dare you. I want you to. Do it. And he grabs like your eyelids and he pulls himself in close with your eyelids.

He goes, I dare you. Oh, I'm not going to because that's another stupid trap. That's what I thought. And he tosses your eyelids back and they go. All right. Guess I'm backed up into a corner. Crosses his little strawberry arms. Well, you're coming with me then because I have to tell my friends I'm going to go into a cave and you're not going anywhere. We didn't say that. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry. Strawberry.

Strawberry. Strawberry. And the vine shot out. Oh, yeah. Well, I had to make a promise that I would do something for the fairy. But he didn't tell me what he wanted at the time. Anyway, he wants one of the moon orchids and they only bloom in the deepest cave. A moon orchid? Yeah. Do you know how hard those are to find? Yeah. So, Billy, are you telling us that you made a deal with Strawberry to help us when we were talking to the council and now we have to go get a flower for it? Yeah.

Was the flower dead to a strawberry fairy in the deepest cave? This is just how stuff works here. Okay. Do you hear Oleander snort to life? Hey. Hi. You guys going on a side quest? Yeah. Cool. Okay. He's back asleep. Should we tell Perel? Actually, you see Perel sitting cross-legged on a rock facing the water with his eyes closed and he's got his hands on his knees and he's kind of like twisting his torso. Like he's kind of gyrating his torso and he's breathing in this weird way.

Like he's sucking in and he's closing his eyes and he's like rubbing his forehead. It looks like he's trying to do something. Yeah. Bing, do you do stuff like that? Oh my God, no. Okay. If you ever see me doing that, call for help. If you ever see me doing that, fucking shoot me. Yeah. We should probably leave him alone. Yeah. Oh yeah. I'm comfortable with that. Yeah. I would be embarrassed if someone saw me doing that. Yeah.

It would be almost as embarrassing as if someone opened the door and you taking a shit consistently. That's not embarrassing. I'm just looking out for you. No, you're looking at me. There's a difference. And as you guys are walking away, you look back at Perel and it looks like he's lit that ion candle. Oh. He's got it in front of him on the rock. Oh, cool. All right. Terry the Strawberry Fairy. No, not Terry. Barry. Ted. Barry the Strawberry Fairy. Barry. Yeah. Where's this cave?

Wait, you can't talk to me. Hey, kid. What does your friend want? He wants to know where the cave is. Oh, well, it's through the woods, other side of the island, down by the water. Okay. The only thing is this part of the forest is a cave. Okay. Okay. This is dangerous. No, it's not. What do you mean? Yes, it is. You don't know. You don't live here. Well, I don't live here right now, but I used to. Well, this part of the forest is dangerous. He crosses his arms and goes, it's dangerous.

With what? Monsters. You wouldn't know because you don't live here. I do. How do I tell if Barry's lying to me? 2d6 plus wisdom. Nine. Nine. Oh, can we aid? Yeah, totally. Oh, wait. No, you can't. How would you be able to aid? Hey, can you threaten him with your muscles? I can threaten him with the spirit axe. Oh, yeah. And then I, like to talk, it just looks like Billy's talking to an actual strawberry. Yeah.

So he just takes TLC and he like takes the spike and he puts it really close to the strawberry. And he's like, if you don't fucking start talking straight and Tuck doesn't know if Billy is playing or if this is real. Yeah. Yeah. But he knows enough about Billy's life. He knows enough about Billy that he'll just play along just either to be a good dad or to like smooth over whatever Eldritch deal Billy made. Totally.

So he's like, I don't know what you're fucking playing at, but if you don't want to get spiked and then dipped in chocolate, then you're going to fucking start talking straight. You little bitch. You little Barry bitch. You guys are both just crouched down. I got my spear up in his business. He's just away from this. Strawberry screaming at him. Yeah. Do you know peanut butter? Because you're going to be jammed, mister. Yeah. All right. Somebody roll 2D6 post bond.

Have you ever had fucking ice cream? You would look good between chocolate and vanilla. Neapolitan, my friend, that is an unpopular flavor. Get ready to sit on a shelf for six weeks. Today is Monday, but one of us might be having a Sunday. Wow. This is a one. And that's a two. So I got four. So Tuck fails But Billy still gets a 7 to 9 And Barry goes He's just looking at the spike And Do TLC talk to him at all?

Yeah he doesn't like TLC TLC's like hey Billy you see TLC like Strut down the spike of the axe To try and get in Barry's face And they're just like what's up bro Fuck off They're dressed like the guys from Grease Just leather jackets Hey bro you better fuck off You better stop fucking with our bro You better tell us what's going on man Don't make us get off this axe I don't know what's going to happen to us if we get off this axe We're going to make sure that we fucking beat your ass first Dare me bro Dare me I dare you to dare me And Barry is just not impressed He's like yeah yeah fuck off you nerds Get out of here And then TLC get their feelings That's why it doesn't help I don't even I don't even want to talk to fucking Barry Anyways This is lame You're a nerd And Terry puts his hand on Chad's back And goes it's okay He was so dismissive And they Wink from sight as they pop back into their axe So you were trying to find out if Barry was lying Yeah He's like no it's really dangerous Over there And you can tell that he definitely thinks it's dangerous But he's hiding something Okay then well I guess I'll keep an eye out Stupid Let's go Alright We're gonna We're gonna undertake a perilous journey Okay Into the woods So remember there is a scout ahead and navigate I'll navigate the woods So it's 256 plus and 106 Intelligence It makes sense that Billy would scout ahead Yeah So 26 plus wisdom to scout ahead I got 9 Excellent 7 Okay So on the 7 to 9 choose one from the list below You get the drop on whatever lies ahead You discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain Make a capital D discovery Notice sign of a capital D danger The first one You get the drop on whatever lies ahead Perfect Ving you got a 9 Yeah So I choose one from the list below Okay so Billy is scouting ahead He's got Terry Or he's got Barry The strawberry fairy In his fanny pack And he's like yeah you gotta go this way Oh it's so scary out here Look out It's just dark Barry Oh but isn't the dark scary Not really What is the deal with this guy Pwning strawberry I think you're Barry I think you're just mad Because you picked a strawberry to inhabit When you could have been in it Yeah I like being a strawberry Are you sure Because you're acting really weird About this forest Yeah because it's scary Do you just want Are you just playing with me And then ahead in the forest You hear Who's there And you see Billy It's kind of dark But you can like squint Through the beams of light And you see what looks like A blackberry vine Is strung across the trail Ahead of you Oh no Okay so you're like So I tell I turn around like There's a trap And it's just The blackberry vine We have to just pretend To be surprised by it Wait what So The strawberry told you this Or the blackberry told you this I can just see it So I take a few steps And I go Oh no And you Do you deliberately trip over The blackberry vine Yeah Oh no I have fallen And I can't get up And a bunch of people Have blackberry vines Like wrap around Your legs and body Oh shit And a big group Of little blackberry fairies Run out of the woods And they go We got you We got you Tuck just slices Through the vines With his axe They go Ving forages the berries He thinks they're just berries Rolling into the path Whoa whoa whoa You don't want to eat those ones I won't eat them I was going to put them in a jar They won't like that Are these fairies Yeah Oh no Monsters And Billy you see them With their little blackberry hands They go like Ah And they're doing like Little claw hands And like growling at things We should probably run away From these big scary monsters Oh no Oh no Whoa And you guys start running Through the trail like Oh no Blackberries And you feel Barry Like chortling with laughter Yeah In your fanny pack You should have seen your face You guys are so scared But you realize As you're like running Through the forest Like oh no To really sell it You're like zigging and zagging Yeah And then Whoops You're lost Ah shit Ah shit Fuck Yeah What Where Where are we Well we're lost Because you wanted to play A stupid prank on us A prank Look we all love pranks Barry Okay It was pretty Good though right It was pretty cute You can see It's cute No sorry I meant it's It was really Overwhelming And shocking Yeah There we go Yeah Nice I look at Tuck like Oh my god And then Tuck goes Yeah totally And he doesn't know What the fuck he's talking to So he's like Yeah totally It's overwhelming and shocking I'm so scared Of those blackberries And Barry goes like Yeah Like he pumps his fist We did it But We are Lost for real So Yeah Whoopsies Can I discern realities To try and find a way To get back to the path Yeah totally 2d6 plus wisdom Here we go Let's look around 10 Okay Three questions Off the discern realities list What here is useful Or valuable to me You Are like Kicking around At the ground Like where the fuck Are we And you find Fairly quickly A pile of Like sliced Blackberry vines Oh okay Like oh we just went Fully in a circle Yep And here we are Oh And there's a pile of blackberries Near the base of a tree That Billy can hear laughing Uproariously Oh my gosh Yeah These berries are real Cut ups huh It's been a long time Since I've been here And I forgot how many Games they like to play Look at how annoying All the things are Are these all summer fairies These are spring fairies These are spring fairies Yeah The mischievous Trickster ones Those two are summer fairies And these two berries Just bumping up And rolling around There's two There's two kiwis Just smashing Yeah and then it goes To like Do do do do do Like slow motion Them rolling together Down a hill Man Billy I thought you were like Kind of like Immature sometimes But seeing you next To these guys Like holy shit You're You're doing great You've got your shit together Thank you I work really hard To be a grown up That's kind of sad Cause you shouldn't Have to be a grown up Well what do you want Oh god And his shit Is not together Barry is hanging Out of the fanny pack He's like It's hey It's okay Billy No I just Try to help my friends And I'm like I'd actually get you A flower before midnight I Look I don't make the rules I know Wait what Yes you did Well no It's the law This is the law Of the land Do these guys Know anything about fairies You know when I make A pinky promise Yeah That's the same thing Wait What Like when I ask Can you tell us What's happening Oh sorry Billy did you make A promise like You made Irk promise you Yeah Are you gonna die If we don't get you This orchid Yeah Oh my Okay Before midnight One time Oh my god Whoa whoa whoa Tuck starts Freaking out Hold on Really you cannot Make those haphazardly Barry's waving His little strawberry arms No no no no no And Tuck Tuck can't see Barry But he leans Into the Strawberry And he goes If my kid fucking dies Because of this flower thing I am going to Put you Up my butt Dude No no no no You're not gonna die If you break The promise You're just gonna have To serve as my valet For two thousand years I will die Anyway so You can come with me Or not We're going Okay You have to find This fucking flower Like Tuck is sweating now No no no It's not that big a deal I'll find it I wanted you Spirit tongue to Talk to Creatures Animals of the night And see if they can Know where this cave is We've still got two more Questions on that Oh great Use them Do that first And then I'll ask My two questions I'm gonna go talk to These Moths over here That was so loud So loud That was like a goofy Like loony tune Style swallow Yep Yeah so you walk up To this moth Who's like chilling On the side of a tree It's wings open And it looks like two Like bright blue eyes Oh they're called Mimic moths And they mimic your face Oh yeah So it just Kind of has like a weird Moth pattern version Of my goofy face Yeah Like when it's closed When its wings are open Initially it looks like The tree bark And then it closes And opens And it looks like your face Yeah Cool I've heard of these Hi Hi Oh What Do you know of a cave Around here Oh sure Lots of caves What's the coldest Updraft you've felt On the other side Of the woods By the ocean Oh well you're gonna Have to roll For that one sailor Roll What are you What are you just asking Or are you offering Me something I'll give you This chunk Of gold What What is it I'll give you this Sea of graves Jar It closes Its wings close And open And then it looks like Raucous waves Cool Not interested What about this Earring I have It closes And opens And looks like A man being eaten By a golden crocodile Oh my god Not interested You have Endless Knowledge of the things In my backpack Can it like connect To like the spiritual essence Of these objects And see its history I don't know Okay Never really thought about it Okay 2d6 plus Intelligence to Spout Lore About mimic moths Okay Dear lord of flame Please help me As I try to Spout Lore With intelligence Eight So Interesting but not useful You have heard stories Of these moths People used to Come to them For glimpses of their future Whoa Whoa But they don't Appear to be Like from what you From what the stories tell They're not like Intelligent Or magical Well I mean like People consider them Kind of magical But They're sort of a mystery Oh In terms of what they do Cool Yeah And then Tuck takes out The puzzle box That he's been carrying around For five seasons And he like holds it up And he's like So how do I do this?

It closes and opens And looks exactly like The puzzle box you're holding And Tuck's like Fuck And he throws it In his backpack I'll never figure This thing out What's his problem? Uh he wants to figure A thing out Oh yeah? What Do you desire? I don't know What you got Like something sticky Do you like honey? What Yeah Oh You got honey? This whole time You've had honey? Yeah I've got some In my poultice kit I use it As a salve 2d6 plus Uh Parley?

Charisma to parley Okay Four Give me All the honey you have And I will tell you Of this cave Oh what? Three poultices?

Yeah Let Just hand it over bro Give me that Sweet sticky honey Okay Here you are Great creature of the night It extends its little Moth proboscis Delicious All right So the moth closes its wings And opens And shows you like A cliffside With like A sea spray Crashing up the rocks And then Uh closes And opens again And like pulls back And it starts to show you Like A path Through the forest Basically With this like Open and close Kind of flip book Style of travel Cool If you go that way To the cave You shall be Led To The cave Cool This guy's getting drunk Of this honey For sure This shit is so good You brought me The best Oh my god I gave him milk Of the poppy instead Man you got any more of that?

Like pop Poppy honey Yeah So yeah That's what I'm gonna And then it closes And opens again And it looks like Two closed eyes And then it closes And it looks like There's a snot bubble Coming out of the nose And it starts to just Sleep And then it closes And it opens up And it's a blinking 12 And then it closes And it's a blinking 12 Yeah Yeah Let's go I think I got it Yeah You kind of got like An idea of the path You're supposed to take Okay So as we're following This path I'm gonna ask my last Two distant realities questions What Should I be on the lookout for?

You are walking And keeping an eye on the path Trying to make sure You don't get lost again Or that any other Fruit doesn't try and Stray you from the path Yeah And you see In the mud What looks like Half a track Of some kind And Tuck goes Shh Stop What?

Abdul's holding up his fist And his arm at a right angle I skid in the mud And fall on my back I walk into his fist Breaking your own nose Alright let's Just roll Two damage You take seven damage Okay Two Two armors So I took five You're You're willingly Taking five damage For a bit Well I mean I walked into his fist Tuck Tuck breaks your nose No that's my fault I should have been looking out Blood pouring down your face Tuck drops down to one leg And he looks He's like There's a track here It's a half a track Yeah And then he Puts two fingers in it And he tastes it It's wide And deep A giant padded Foot of some kind Let me look Is it a cougar?

It tastes like a cougar It's bigger than a cougar Can I discern the realities Of it? It's no labber Well we're still We're still doing this We're still doing this We're still doing Discern realities We got one more question Yeah Whoops We're in the middle of it So that was What should I be on the lookout for? So this is like Some kind of big cat It's what's It's wide Wide wide And like Deep claw marks Like a bear?

A bear sounds like A wide claw mark one Deep claw marks Cougars don't Cats don't walk With their claws out What is about to happen? So Ving You look closer Knowing more about The natural world And you're like Yeah that looks like A big fat paw Um The claws Something's off About the claws Though And you realize They don't look like claws They look like talons Oh And in the trees You hear What is There's something Moving through the trees Uh We should get off this path Yeah Oh A big owl?

Is it a griffin? Owl griffin Owl griffin Whoa Maybe it's some kind of like Dinosaur of some kind Owl griffin What is that? Oh my god It could be part stegosaurus Or part pterodactyl Maybe it's like Like a big woolly mammoth No they don't have talons You guys are making So many wild Leaps of logic While they do that Can I Um Can I See what it is?

Yeah somebody Yeah you can Spout Lore Yeah I'll Spout Lore 2d6 plus intelligence Seven Seven So Uh Billy you've heard Stories Uh huh On the island When you were Much much younger And also much much older Of The varying beasts That exist in Places like this With wild connections To the natural world And the fairy And the spirit realm There's only one animal That this could be The fearsome Owl bear Oh no Crash crash crash And then right behind you Like out of the trees This huge Bear like body Plumed in like Dark brown feathers With the head Of a Screech owl A huge sharp beak And massive claws Is it on all fours Or up on its hind legs?

It's up on its hind legs Right now And it makes a crazy Like screeching Growling roar Shit My hair's Blown back By the sound Yeah I don't even know How to make the noise Besides like Roar Woo Um And it's It's getting ready To attack What do you do? Well now I will not be surprised Oh yeah Yeah I will shoot first I always forget about that Yeah So what does Billy do?

I will roll fairy dust 2d6 plus charisma 10 Fuck Holy shit So you choose two Uh It affects A group of people They stay asleep For a good amount of time And you can do it From a distance Uh They stay asleep For a good amount of time Yeah And I Like I scream Uh huh And it kind of Explodes out of me Whoa Like a big puff Like I'm a A mushroom Like a mushroom's force It's like A shockwave Yeah Yeah Yeah So the owl bear Is up on its hind legs And goes like Oh Woo And then the Dust hits it And it goes Shockwave Oh Oh You know Wobbles back and forth And then Goes down on all fours And starts to snore Huh Well Good work Billy Thanks I did Pee myself Yeah Tuck's like Yeah that must be embarrassing For you That you did that Why would you say that to me?

You know how sensitive I am But When I have Pee pee pants And then Tuck's like I pissed myself too Billy Well you should have told me that first I said I pissed myself too But I'm wearing a kimono And a loincloth underneath So it just went straight down Okay You're wearing a kimono Underneath your loincloth?

Yeah I'm wearing Oh the kimono over Over the loincloth You're still wearing the kimono Yeah it looks good Yeah it does Silky Excellent Yeah Um Barry As you're walking away Now that you've put this Massive owl bear to sleep Goes What'd you do? I don't know I just made it go to sleep Cause I got scared That's Is Is that something that you do normally? Who do you normally do that to? Like anyone Who's threatening Like people?

Yeah That might not last very long On this thing I know That's why we have to go Yeah no I'm just I just wanted to make sure That that was on the table Sort of like a Chekhov's gun Kind of thing Let's go You guys head off Into the forest Yeah Yeah Tuck Picks up Billy And Ving I guess And starts running Cause he's getting Stressed That his kid is gonna Fucking die I'm running in the air Yeah Um We are You don't have to roll Navigate But we're in kind of The last Like another leg Before you get to The cliff side So we're gonna At least need to roll A scout ahead Tuck's gonna scout ahead Cause he's the one That's carrying everyone And running Perfect And he's trying He's opening his eyes So wide And his nose To try and smell And see all of the things He's just opened his mouth And he opens his ears Really wide You can feel them open All your senses Are on high alert Yeah All your orifices Gaped Gaping My Your dick hole My dick hole is huge Huge My My!

My butthole is huge Is gulping air No!

Your pores are wide Like a bottle That's all I'm saying Alright Roll Two six plus Two six plus wisdom For scout ahead Ten Oh wow Wow So you get two from this list I wanna get a shortcut And I wanna get the drop On whatever the fuck's coming up Okay Cool And Tuck's pounding Through the woods right now Like running so fast and hard Yeah totally You are running so fast And so hard That it's so fast and hard But Tuck as you sprint Through the woods You see in the path Directly in the path A bush And Billy you hear From the bush Raucous laughter Is it the blackberries again?

No Tuck there's a bush In front of you I jump it Okay Do I have to stop Billy?

No you can just keep going Yeah I'm gonna jump it Just the blackberries Two d six plus strength Twelve Okay Yeah just amazing hurdle Yeah Tuck is running Thumping through the woods Jumps over this bush Like a hurdle And you hear the laughter As he's running up And then as you jump over You see a bunch of raspberries In the bush And they go Oh man Try harder next time You hit the dirt And keep running And you know Thirty seconds later You come out Onto the cliff side Ah this is the spot And here's the shortcut Tuck jumps Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter L Well, that's good that it was plus strength because this is four, so I got seven.

Wow. Okay. Lucky, lucky. If you hadn't said the axe thing, that would have been fucked. Well, that would have been just me jumping off a cliff with my two best friends. That would have been all of us, all your friends jumping off the bridge. And that would have been the last episode. Okay. So clue me into the logistics of this. So Ving is on my shoulder, like chicken fight style. He's like clambered up. Okay. And he's like, his legs are like dangling down next to me. And I put Billy in my beard.

So I have both hands free. Great. And then it's like I swan dive out over the edge. And as like I just clear the edge, I grab the axe, chop backwards and cut into like the edge of the top of the cliff. Yeah. And then that flips me down and I hit with my feet on the side of the wall and then just start like walk repelling that. Not even just like skidding. Like, like I'm going down the side of a, like a railing with my feet. Yeah. It's sliding. It's like an anime slide. It's a real anime move.

That's so cool. And you're sliding so cool. The only problem is that it's not a flat cliff side. It's like a tumble of rocks. So every once in a while you go like seven extra feet so fast. Okay. But no, you're fine. Oh, wait, no, you got a seven to nine. Yeah. Should I roll for damage? Yeah. Go ahead and roll a D six. Four. Four. Okay. Yeah. So you land on your knees and they hurt really bad. Oh, did you land on your knees? Don't say anything. Oh, not his knees.

It's the kind of pain that like tuck just like gets really quiet and presses his face into the ground like this. Like an ostrich hiding from the pain. Face first into the ground. The kind of pain where if anybody says a word to you, you're going to lose it. Oh, things like. Oh man. Those honey. Eight, five, three fives would really come in handy right now. Yeah. And you feel a cold cave air wafting up from this yawning portal in front of you. I can smell the sap and the orchids. Yeah.

We're so close. Barry's like, I can already taste it. Why do you make such gross sounds about this flower? Because it's going to be delicious. Oh, I thought you just like wanted it to bring home. Oh no, I'm going to eat it. Okay. Well, I'm going to light a little willow the wisp. Sweet. Is it the wicker cat? Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to roll. Remember for bill of the wisp. Right. So, uh, meow. Little like cat jingle jingle fades into view. All right.

Ving has a silver gauntlet that I took from Lillian's tomb. Yeah. And, uh, it glows like the knife. And now that he's like the moon, the moon thing. So cool. Guys, check this out. I found out. That my, uh, old gauntlet glows now. Oh, cool. Right. Look at this. Woo. Woo. Uh, yeah. And there, it's a, a cave goes down pretty sharply. Um. Yeah. I skid a lot. It's kind of icy down here. Yeah. Oh. Oh yeah. I mean, it's cold. It makes sense, I guess. Hopefully there's no cave bears, guys.

I would like to roll, uh, crap expert. Nice. Nice. Yeah. I would just take case. Yeah. Well, seven, seven. So you get one question. Okay. Um, is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? Yes. And entering the cave. What? No. Sorry. Yeah. We're in it. Well, basically the trap is not a trap trap. Um, it is that something definitely lives here. Ving like smelling the air. You can smell over the like cold salt sea air that yeah, there's definitely like animal smells in this cave.

It smells like a pollution has been living in here for a long time. Really? Yeah. Well, that sort of smell. Oh my God. Uh, so yeah, you, you know that there's something alive in this cave. And Billy thinks it's the pollution for sure. Can we maybe like trick it into coming out? Yeah. Bait it out. I bait it out. What do we have? Spirit tongue. Oh yeah.

Um, for the purposes of spirit tongue, it might be kind of broad because I think for Ving to talk to something like that, he has to know what he's talking to. Can he do a discern realities to figure out? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Yeah. Perfect. Okay. Two D six plus wisdom. Nice. I got eight. All right. One question. Who's really in control here. So you, uh, walk down the cave mouth a little bit more and, uh, you see ahead of you like light.

And as you get closer and you realize that, uh, whatever light is outside combined with the light that is on you guys is like illuminating ice that's in the walls that is carrying the light further into the cave. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So pretty yeah it's very it's a beautiful like ice cave which is when you see leavings of the beast that lives in here poop yeah or like you know bones or whatever kind of detritus what animal is it like a what animal is the bone the bones no beyond what kind of bien animal is here you guys tell me you guys a tip actually that I'm asking yeah ving like based on what you find what animal lives in this cave maybe it's a lunar bear oh lunar bear that makes sense it would be they guard they find the caves that makes so much sense because it's a moon flower right yeah yeah they grow out of their dung oh yeah that makes sense that does make sense okay so yeah this is definitely a lunar bear cave haunt okay so yeah this is definitely a lunar bear cave haunt of some kind and what is a lunar bear again it is a large I was gonna say it's like like a sun bear who has like the orange triangle I was gonna say it's a white triangle but I think it's a white bear with a black triangle like a crescent maybe on his chest yeah I thought a crescent either like a black bear with a white crescent or something yeah there's like a new moon bear yeah cool yeah oh they they can come in like different phases of the moon yeah maybe depending on the season their fur changes yeah or something and they mean different things when you see them according to the alienas and down here they're all synced up yeah fuck me but yeah you know that um especially on the new moon which is tonight um moon bears are particularly uh territorial so whatever is in here might be dangerous yeah unless I can trick them yep because I have the light of the moon oh yeah I can bring the light of the moon and keep them calm because I'm I'm not going to be able to do that I'm not going to be able to do that I'm not going to be able to do that the full moon nights lunar bears are docile like that makes sense they soak it up it's like a lizard on a hot rock that's sick yeah that's great so I'm gonna uh roll 2d6 plus wisdom for full moon powers you're making that up what is your elementalist move oh yeah elemental mastery elemental form right oh yeah I'll transfer my body into a form made from the raw elements sweet roll con nice eight to hold and what is your moon form um my moon form is my self it's thing but just bathed in moonlight yeah super moony it's cool yeah little craters wait highlighting all of his old acne scars yeah I guess so yeah um and like it looks like yeah he's slightly bigger he's just like fluffy because it's like blurry with moonlight yeah and billy you hear sparkling you hear barry and your fanny pack go wow he's the spirit walker wow stay behind me let's go yeah and you carry on down the cave there's a crazy amount of elevation in here you know there's like an elevated uh walkway that like sinks down into like a huge depression and then arcs up and around to a totally different like cave section cool and there's a lot of like like like like like like like like like like there's just this brilliant blue ice carrying this light now brighter than ever with the living moon man inside oh oh man really cool because you know typically if you're hiding from a creature scary animal you'd want to hide in the dark but if you're hiding from a lunar bear you hide in the light yeah it's pretty cool oh yeah ving has light sight so I can it's like yeah makes tracks with his light sight yeah that's sweet that's cool and also it makes sense that the lunar bear would be down there and then you'd be like oh yeah I'm gonna go down there and then because then on nights where the full moon is is happening he's like getting the full dose yeah yeah oh that's great um yeah and you carry on down this cave um it's not terribly perilous uh the steps are pretty easy to navigate especially since there's more light than you could ever fucking hope for in this cave now nice you've basically figured out the perfect way to complete this part of the journey yeah I'm scouring the ground looking at any poop piles for the for the orchid and there are a ton a ton of orchids ton of poop piles okay oh don't do that tuck yeah this is poop yeah I mean ving already told us what else could it be tuck said leavings I didn't know exactly what it meant but it's for sure shit yeah so you are bathing this cave in moonlight checking these poop piles as you walk by um and you're noticing they're pretty big this is a lot of pretty big sizable poop piles and as you get to the end of the cave you're like oh my god I'm getting tired of this this is a lot of poop piles and as you get further into the cave they get bigger whoa oh must be a big bear I guess how big like man's size oh my god sean's putting his arms out like a like a volkswagen beetle is this bear okay there's like a bunch of burger king rappers all over the place oh my god I think he's got ibs and you uh you're you're getting close to some sort of uh some sort of opening in the bottom of this deep deep cave as you go down and down far past the water level you start to feel air rush past you and then rush back into the cave and then rush past you oh wait rush back into the cave in there they're breathing oh no that's the breath of the bear that's incredible you walk through into this massive cave like a hundred foot high ceiling this huge dome and an absolutely colossal bear like I know that I'm an animal but big guy but this bear is fucking huge like a hundred feet tall kind of thing yeah like a like a kaiju bear and it's all curled up and it's snoring away uh you see the crescent moon on its back um it's like brilliant white fur with this like midnight black crescent moon on its back and it seems to be dead asleep and far on the other side of the cave on a huge pile of shit you see a single bright white orchid wow okay how big is the orchid the orchid's fairly small yeah orchid sized for sure it it grows in like a spiral of circles that are slightly translucent whoa like the petals are slightly translucent but they do glow bright nice cool yeah you can see it it's like kind of like bing bing like it's a little light bulb on the other end of the cave okay we just got to get around this giant bear I guess and your hair's like ruffling in the wind as it breathes in and out yeah I'm just gonna hold my breath and like keep keep my will-o-the-wisp really close to me so roll defy danger dexterity everybody all of us anybody that's trying to get to the other side of the cave okay and we're all going together 10 10 8 okay you're walking along the edge of this cave over the bear who's still quite close to you in this deep deep cave and uh you're walking along breath billy and tuck having a grand old time somehow billy is at in his element tuck is uh pressed as close to the wall as possible knowing if he gets even a little bit closer to the edge he's gonna fall yeah tuck his uh is facing into the wall pretending he's the wall and ving he remembers that his mom's cloak she had a cloak of like polar bear that there was a uh a little crescent moon shape oh on her sometimes and you're overcome with that memory of your mother uh when you step just a little bit too close to the edge and a rock gives way and you stumble and you start to fall over the cliff side what do you do okay 2d6 plus dexterity uh six I aid yeah and yeah billy's got shoot first so he's like not surprised yeah nine nice okay that makes it a seven which means that um yeah you snap your hand out grab on to ving billy grabs onto ving's shoe yeah and you are hanging out over this yawning chasm with this enormous bear underneath you look back and you see that it's like head is right underneath where you are it's huge like like fortress sized head and uh you're looking at your backpack as you see a little vial of uh healing herbs start to slide out of the pocket my backpacks are so big I'm so scared of them I'm so scared of them I'm so scared of them I'm so scared of them Backpack?

Of Ving's backpack. You can see it's sliding out of his bag. Actually, I don't have any poultices left. Good point. That's a great point. Okay, so you're leaning back and you see your spear starts to slide. Or the child's nightmare. It goes into the bear's mouth. You see a vial start to slide out of your backpack and the label reveals itself slowly as it says, a child's nightmare. The doll is pushing it out. Up her back. This is not. You cut inside the backpack.

You guys can't see it, but the doll is like, he, he, he, he, he. That's so funny. So it's a seven to nine. So you can still roll to catch it. Huh? Yeah. Okay. And then he lightens a feather. I'm going to, it's too late. The liquid's dropping. I'm going to use my light of the feather to go under and catch the liquid. I'll take the nightmare. Okay. Sounds good. So I got 10. Oh, okay. So you, you like swing. Underneath the nightmare as it's falling. Being held by your pants and shoes.

Like your toes are gripping onto the cliff above you. Basically. Catching the child's nightmare in your mouth. Just in time. Oh, and it tastes like a big dog that chased you up the stairs of your house. One time. Yeah. He knocked open the door. He chased me outside. Yeah. Bit me in the butt. Oh my God. I thought I was going to die until that next door lady picked me up. But yeah, the nightmare has been averted momentarily. As tuck. And. Billy haul you back up to the cliffside. Thanks guys.

I want my mom. And he starts sucking his thing. What is happening to me? Billy pulls the little blue blanket out from under his shirt and offers it to Bing. Thank you. Can we please turn the light on? He's glowing. Here, why don't you take Wicker the light. Oh, thank you. Oh god, I'm sorry. Irrationally terrified right now. Irrationally terrified. 100 foot bear. This one's from the inside out. I can't rationalize this part. You're being so brave. Thank you.

Anyway, I hurry over to the poo pile and I pick that orchid. The thing with moon orchids, moon glow orchids is if you want the glow to remain, you have to really dig the roots out. So your hand is going far in this poo. I'm doing this for you, Barry. And I hate it. Oh man, I can already taste it. You're not going to get that smell out for a week. Yeah. And you pluck the orchid. And he reaches out his little strawberry hands and he's like, gimme, gimme, gimme. Okay, hold on. Here you go.

And he takes it and he rips the roots off and he throws them and he just Like, you just strawberry down this flower? He eats it so fast. He eats it so fast. Thanks. You're welcome. Let's go back. Yeah, let's get out of here. He's like rubbing his like strawberry gut now that he's got this like big belly. He's got his legs kicked over the side of the fanny pack and he's just like, hmm. Thank you, friends, for risking your life for me. No problem, buddy. Yeah, Billy.

Next time, don't make one of these promises that will kill you. Okay. Don't promise. Strawberry that you're going to be a slave for 2,000 years or whatever. I didn't know. I didn't know. Are you sure this curse is gone? Yeah, it's gone. Yeah, no, our deal has been completed. And I want to say, not slave, valet. Just getting that out there. It's the same thing. Yeah, it was kind of involuntary servitude for sure. You make it up pretty easily back to the cave and you're standing at the water side.

Are you just heading back up? Yeah. I don't want to go through the forest though. I'd rather just walk along the cliffs. Maybe we'll see some runes. Why don't you want to go through the forest? Well, because you put all those traps in there and the owl bears in there. Oh, but you put it to sleep. What if they're, what if they're, Billy? What? And he kind of gestures you down. Yeah. So you're basically just bending at the waist so you get closer to the fanny pack. I can't bend that far.

What if there are owl bear eggs in there? In the forest? In the forest. In the forest. In the forest. In the forest. In the forest. In the forest. In the forest. In the forest. In the forest. It's asleep. You could take one. If you keep talking to me about this, I'm going to leave you on the cliff. Okay. All right. Okay. All right. I was just trying to, just trying to let you know about an opportunity. You do it your way. Actually, you know what?

And he gets out of the fanny pack and he walks on his little strawberry legs and he goes, you have completed our bargain. He's got his arms up in the air. Do you really want to stay here or are you just going to make your way back on your own? Oh, I'll be fine. And you see, a strawberry vine, like wending its way down the rock and he goes, I'm good. And he grabs onto it and he starts getting pulled back up the cliff side. So you could have done this yourself the whole time. Oh yeah.

But this way is more fun. See you later. Piece of shit. Barry, the strawberry fairy is gone. I'm going to get him back someday. And now you guys are at the water side. So your plan is to go along the shore instead of back through the woods. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. We're going to try and read some of the ruins and see what we can glean from the history of this island. Yeah. If we can, if we can find a knowledge tree, we can maybe, that'd be good. Yeah. Check out some of the ruins. Okay.

I think, you know, the coast is a little bit, you know, sort of where on the island you are. So you're not going to have to do like a, undertake a perilous journey again, especially if you're just looking for one of the trees that are on the forest, but you're going to have to do that. You're going to have to do it to find a true wisdom. Okay. Do we all roll? No, it just would be like the, the, the person that's leading this hunt. Basically. I'll leave the hunt. Cool. Duty six plus whiz. Okay.

I got an eight. All right. Partial success. So you're walking along, um, you know, on the breakwater. Yeah. When you're walking down on the bricks closest to the sea, it's like that. You're like stepping over huge gaps. There's, there's water spray, uh, coming up at you from the cold ocean. Underneath. It's not a very comfortable walk. There's nowhere where you can just stride at your comfortable pace.

Night weasels, like ducking in and out of rocks, fucking night weasels, just peeking in and darting. You can hear them chittering away in the, in the cliffs, tuck your walking. And, uh, you realize that you've been walking for a while and there's been a, you thought it was Billy, like messing around in your bag. And then you re you hear Billy, uh, shift in your beard and you go, Oh, Billy's in my beard. What the fuck's back here? What the fuck's back here?

And you turn and there's a night weasel on your backpack. Holy shit. And it's got something in its little mouth and it starts to dart away. What did it steal from you? Alison scarf. Oh, it's got Alison scarf and it's running off into a cliff. What do you do? I chased it. Okay. Defy danger. Dexterity. Come back here. You Weasley. Fuck shit. Three. No. Plus what? Plus zero. Oh my God. So it darts off into the, into the rocks with Alison scarf. No. Bring that back. I yell at him and weasel.

It says no. And it's gone. It talks like digging around in the lake rocks that it kind of like went into. Yeah. It's a, it gets like these burrows are a lot deeper than you think. They go into the hillside. Basically. Fucking son of a bitch. It's gone. I'm sorry, man. It's okay. Maybe we'll find another scarf. Whatever. It doesn't matter. I mean, she left one. I'm sure there's another one. No, it doesn't matter. She left scarves everywhere. It doesn't. I don't care. It doesn't matter.

Somebody's birthday is coming up. It's fine. She, I don't care. So I look at, I look at being, he cares a lot. Yeah. You really like that scarf. Chuck runs down the beach. Arms at the side. Yeah. He did. He did spend like 250 coins on this scarf. Basically. Oh yeah. Fuck. Yeah. That's why Bing's upset. Cause it's like a nest egg scarf. Yeah. That was her retirement. That was her retirement scarf. Yeah. When Tuck hears Billy say he cares a lot. He's like, no, I don't. He runs away.

But about, you know, um, I'd say 45 minutes later, you guys catch up with Tuck. He's just running away. He's just moping now next to you, but you find kind of growing on the cliffside, gripping onto the rocks, but towering into the sky, a knowledge tree that looks like, um, a Douglas fir, a pine of some kind. Sure. Pine. Sure. Pine. Oh, it's hanging. Is it like curving off the cliff? Yeah. It's like curving off and up. Wind wisped. Yeah.

But you see like a language, not even carved, but like grown into the bark. Can we read it? We can read it. Yeah. This is the kind of thing where with like the help of Bing and Billy, uh, I'd let you all roll the spell or if you want. Yeah. Cool. Fun. Nice job Tuck on finding this tree. Tuck is, uh, his face is really puffy for no reason. For no reason. And he's just like, yeah, I totally, totally found it and it's great. And I'm proud of myself. Uh, let's read it. Do you want a second?

Uh, so yeah. What is something Druidic that you are, uh, looking for? So let's start with, uh, Jessica. I see her rolling. What is something you're trying to learn? I guess like specifically I'm looking for the name Ileana or, um, something like that. Totally. Uh, Billy doesn't really know what else to look for. Oh, four, four. Okay. Mark an experience there. Uh, so you're looking for the name Ileana, uh, but you get distracted. Yeah. Because you find the word chocolate.

I mean, maybe you do find references to like a food. Yeah. I find the word bread and then the word butter. So I, at first I was going to move on to the word bread, but then I saw butter. And so I was like, I have to know what comes next. I will, I will find the stuff about Ileana, but this seems important too. So you find references to, um, uh, a cooking practice. That's also combined with like kind of a folk magic thing called star butter.

And it's the idea of you make butter and then you set it outside on a clear starry night. And, uh, supposedly the pure light of the moon and stars, uh, purifies the butter and makes it taste even more delicious. Oh, and it's also a way to preserve the butter. So it lasts longer. This is fascinating. Wow. And they even give you the recipe for it and the recipe for the bread takes like, there's this version that takes a long time to make. So you have to like need it for a long time and ferment it.

There's a, there's also a kind of, there's a specific kind of bread they make using starlight butter. That's traditionally for a festival held at like the height of winter. Uh, that's called, um, turnover. Cause it's the turning over of the year. Oh, when the light starts changing. Yeah. And there's so many fillings you can have in the turnover. You can have an apple turnover. You can make savory turnovers with salmon and trout. That's yummy. That actually sounds great. Wow.

And this one, you can make a custard turnover. I love custard. We're all on this. Yeah. I love this tree. The gravy. They have a gravy turnover. I'll be here for a bit. I hope we all fail. Um, this recipe tree. All right. Uh, so you get a point of experience for that. Weirdly enough. Uh, okay. Ving, what's being looking for? Uh, he's looking for mentions of the Ranger King. Oh yeah. Ooh. Uh, plus intelligence. I got a six. Okay. So I also get an experience. Yeah.

So you're looking for the Ranger King, but instead you find information on lunar bears, lunar bears. Uh, so yeah, you find references to, to lunar bears, which apparently used to be, uh, quite prominent in the world. Like it was, they're not just a hibernia thing, but there are stories of the great bear, uh, somewhere in this island chain that represents kind of a God of the land. Uh, and was like an old, like minor deity basically. Oh, cool. And it said, does it speak of its name?

The great bear. Um, which actually, interestingly enough, you realize, uh, phonetically translated from the Druidic language sounds a lot like Ileana. Cool. Um, but you do find that, uh, you know, stories like, Oh, one day this bear is going to grow so large that it's going to eat the moon and it's going to replace the moon. This bear will be the moon one day. Cool. Huh? Yeah. But I'm the moon right now. Oh no. That bear got so much closer to its goal than it even thought. Cool. Yeah.

Uh, what else about lunar bears? Gotta be something else in there. Ooh, they were hunted pretty extensively because their pelts were thought to have a magic abilities. Oh yeah. Um, there were people that weren't druids or shape shifters that sought them because they thought they would help them take the form of the bear and fight with their ferocity. Oh, cool. Yeah. So they were hunted to near extinction by a group of people called berserkers. Wow. That's sad. Yeah.

There's a lot of like a very floral language. Uh, imbued in the tree, decrying the loss of the bear lamenting, uh, their absence on the, on the planet. It's really, really rare to get them to mate in captivity. Yeah. They mostly, it's really hard. You gotta like dress like a lunar bear and like slowly introduce them to other lunar bears. You gotta show them videos of lunar bears mating and be like, look, don't you want to do that? Doesn't this look awesome? Uh, yeah.

So you, that's, that's what you learn about lunar bears. Okay. Can't find any references to the Ranger King for some reason. Tuck, what's Tuck looking for? Um, he's sort of just actually looking for information about chimes and Lillian. Oh, interesting. He's, uh, guess chimes has been on his mind a lot since like, we kind of like found that like chamber in the, in the fort in the four frost aisles.

And since we found that beach with like, maybe he was on with his kid and his wife and like everything about being becoming like, I don't know, Lillian's chosen one or like connecting with, like her energy somehow. He's just like, well, I don't know anything about magic and I don't know anything about Rangers and I don't know anything about Lilliana, but I know chimes kind of, so I'm kind of interested in what's going on there. Okay, cool. Uh, then yeah, roll two D six plus intelligence. Seven.

Okay, nice. Oh shit. Six. Oh, wait, but don't I have that thing that if I, I roll about something that nobody knows about, I get a plus one. You're literally reading from a repository of stuff that other people know about, but the people aren't alive. Come on, man. Only the tree knows about this. Are you telling me trees? A book? Are you telling the worst argument I've ever heard?

Are you telling me that if you went to the library and you found a book full of information and you learn something, you'd be like, I discovered this. If you killed everyone in that lot, I thought it was like no one here present right now knows. I mean, I guess if, yeah, all right, I'll, I'll let you do it if you want to. I just want more info about chimes, so I'll push for this. I'll tell you this. You're not going to find info about chimes on this tree.

References to him will be scant because he's not somebody that the druids really were concerned with. Oh, right. That makes sense. Um, but you do find references to like, um, you know, the moon's lover, that kind of stuff. Okay. Um, vague references to a relationship that, you know, the man who, the man who married the moon, that kind of shit. But, uh, you do find, basically a record of a druid, much like the lunar bear lamenting the death of the moon.

The drew, there is a druid who references an event that is taking place during their lifetime that you realize through the things that you've learned, uh, is likely the grieving. Whoa. The druids were not involved. They chose not to be involved. Whoa. It was almost like a Jedi thing where they were like shaken by the amount of people that were involved. The amount of destruction and death like that they felt through the earth and through nature as the moon shattered and went mad. Whoa.

Um, and truly, truly thought that the end of the world had come, that this would, this would end everything, but somehow they protected themselves from the worst of it. Um, it sounds like they were able to make a pact of some kind. Um, it sounds like they were able to make a pact of some kind. With a powerful spirit. They're, they use words like veil. Oh, it's the gray. This is what, this is what happened. This is how they did the gray.

When the, when the grieving happened, they caused the fog wall to hide themselves and to shy away from the grief because they thought the world was ending. So they hid themselves away in hibernia and pulled the gray over the whole like Northern part of the world. That makes sense.

And then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, and then they, off from the moon oh right failing themselves from night like to do it used to be really into the stars yeah the references to star butter yeah those are those probably predate yeah the grieving it's something that they can't really make anymore sick all right cuz like the druids first language was written from the stars and the magic and that's extra sad cuz that cut themselves off from like the source of their knowledge for the night sky their culture yeah and that's probably around the time they became very like we have to protect our practices and wizards are evil and blah blah blah yeah they're getting more magi mm-hmm yeah so that's what you learn and as you're all standing like I think Billy is kind of on tuck shoulder like helping him read the parts about the the gray and the veil and then you hear footsteps in the trees behind you breaking twigs yeah breaking twigs rustling leaves but Russell is nowhere to be found Russell's on you pal and almost in response a black snout emerges from the underbrush revealing a hulking nightmarish blackford wolf with a dead snow owl clenched in his jaws rows of iron gray teeth black malicious eyes deepest pools of night row after row of arrows puncturing its bloody hide the sound of tucking Billy's laughter fades to silence and you are utterly alone and that's where we're gonna end it whoa what the dude pretty good good good stuff that was scary yeah I'm ready for a horror movie Halloween we're doing it just wrap it up already oh yeah I guess that's where we're gonna end it for this week I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz so long playing Ving the half-elf Druid Paul Loppers take care playing fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica tie hi everyone thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music incredible as always that you can listen to all of the music played on the show uh at just just Google Sound Cloud and Spout Lore that's the easiest way we've figured right now uh thank you to our patreon supporters supporting us around the world you can support us at patreon.com speltlord or speltlord.com money please or find us on the internet at Spout Lore most places and thank you finally to you for listening we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in the revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly be a part of a dream

Spout Lore is only made possible through the contributions of listeners like you. If you would like to donate, please go to Spout Lore dot com slash money, please, or Patreon dot com slash Spout Lore. And if you go there, you'll get a bunch of bonus content, too, which is nice. It's good bonus content. I work really fucking hard on it. A druid and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Thing is half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest. They may not be. But their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello, everybody. Playing Fat Billy, the athlete thief. Jessica Tai. Hello, everybody. When last we left our heroes, they were parlaying with the Selkie king known as Stone Eye, who was explaining to them that the Ileana line owed blood.

And upon asking how much blood are we talking about, Stone Eye said, it is not for me to decide, but for the council. And you must come to Hypernia to stand before the council. We were like, yeah, okay, let's go. We were trying to go there anyways, bro. Hell yeah, we've been trying to get there for months. You know how expensive, it's so hard to get an Airbnb in Hypernia. You have a place for us? We've been wandering through the grave hoping we hit Hypernia.

And honestly, this is a real boon for us. Thank you so much, Stone Eye. I'll give you a one-star review on an Uber. An Uber. Then they were Ubered. Just because your Uber smelled like fish. Sounded like farts. They got Ubered to Hypernia by the Selkies who pushed along the Sunrunner, taking them to this mysterious, mysterious. Dusty, snowy island. Deep, deep in the gray. We arrived at Hypernia, finding a boreal, tree-covered, rocky island.

We were taken ashore up to the island village itself, where we found druids on druids on druids, shapeshifters everywhere, little kids running around. Some sort of warming or life-providing field given off by the knowledge trees, theoretically, allowing things to be… Livable and for food to grow, it seems at all times. Then you were put in a stone hut to await your judgment by the council, guarded over by two now extremely frustrated Selkies. Hell yeah.

Tuck tried to take a shit for a long time and then was able to take a shit. But he's all backed up because of the salt fish or whatever. Just dehydrated sea stuff. Yeah. God, it's coming out like wood chips. Call this move the wood chipper. Gross. Gross. Billy attempted to enter the ferry using Shadow Dance to get some information and found that Hypernia is fucking covered in fairies of all seasons. We learned a lot about the seasons of the fairies, which kicked ass.

And Billy talked to an autumn fairy named Russell, who was a pile of sleepy leaves. Yeah. And learned that the Ileana line is connected to some and blamed for a conflict of some kind. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories.

There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. There's a ton of theories. As a direct result of this conflict. She was killed. And that is where we find our heroes now. In a stone hut. Twilight is beginning to approach.

Having realized that. You are about to stand judgment. For whatever conflict. Led to the death of Ving's mother. Dude your dad totally fucked us. We're hosed. Because your dad did some shit here. Classic. And almost. As if on cue. The door flap of the hut. Is thrown aside. And a druid of some kind. A hyperion of some fashion. Let's say a woman in her 20s. With braids. Braids and braids. And lots of tattoos. It's like it's time. And Tuck's like hey there. I shouldn't have said woman.

I shouldn't have said woman. This is great. Tuck's like oh hello. I don't believe we've met. Have we met before? Yeah. She looks around. Kind of. No. Like nose scrunched. At all of the shit. And fire. And burnt shit in here. And Tuck's like that's so weird. I feel like we've met. We must have. He's ignoring all this. Ving says that's my shit there. It's. And this is also my shit. It's our shit. Our shit. And we're like kicking it around. And putting up the fire. And our very muscular friend.

Tacoma. Had nothing to do with this. He was over there reading a book. I love books. Yeah. It was a book of poetry. That he wrote. Shit. Too far. Too far. Come with me. Okay. Yeah. Totally. And she turns around and starts walking away. I'd love to come with you. There's nothing I would love more than to come with you. I'll come with you. Like literally anywhere you want. Anywhere. Oh God. Please emphasize the word with. And not the word come. I'm emphasizing all of the words. I will.

She turns around. And starts walking away. Come. And you realize that as she's walking away. You realize that she has. Her legs are the back legs of a deer. And she starts striding up the clearing. Oh. So you're like one of the centaur people. I'm not. The centaur has. Their lower half is the entire body. Right. Of a horse. Okay. Or a camel. Or something. So you have a human butt. That's none of your business. Yeah. Where. Where. Where does the deer part start. And tuck like. Puts his.

His hand at her head. And he starts moving it down. It's like. Just say when. She keeps walking. And then it goes all the way. And it's like. Okay. You missed it. So let's start again. Let's start again at the top. And I'll move down. Just tell me when. When the human. Say when. She keeps walking. Okay. Well. And then I turn to these two. And I'm like. This might not be viable for me. I think. The thing says dibs. I just have to try a different approach. I think. Yeah.

And then tuck puts his hand at the. At the feet. And he's like. Okay. Tell me where the deer part stops. Okay. She's just not saying anything. Well. She looks so pissed off right now. Hey. Hey. Lady. What's your name? It's not so that my friend Tacoma. The. The handsome. Or Ving. The also handsome. Well. No. It's. It's just for my personal information. I'm. I'm fat. Billy. If you're curious. Our. Our. Last name isn't handsome. We're not married. My name is. Uh. My name is Savarna.

Nice to meet you. And I. I. Look at you guys. Like. Okay. Now you have the information you need. A beautiful name for a beautiful lady. She goes. And. Chuck's like. Do you ever. Drink? No. Okay. She's been walking this whole time too. She has not turned back to look at you at all. Okay. Can you slow down a bit? I. It's hard for me to keep up. I. My legs are so. So small. She ever so. Imperceptibly slows down. Please Savarna. Let's just take our time here. Really nice trees you have.

You only prolong your judgment. I see you haven't prolonged your judgment. What do you think of us? I think that you are to stand judgment before the council. Why? For. The. Blood. Debt. Against the Ileanas. These are all things you're aware of. I mean. I have an idea based on a song. If you think you'll weasel some detail out of me. You're wrong. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. What if we roll to weasel a detail? Yeah. Sure. What are you trying to do?

Because like I will say that as a character, she's not interested in talking to you. So it will have to be something pretty tricky. I have berries. That's she's not interested in taking bribes either. Really? Can I use a fairy child move to to charm her? Yeah. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Yes. Okay. And your time's running out because the sun's going down. I know. Yeah. Yeah. No, you just have to spend a spend a hold. Remember, you don't have to roll. Oh, I don't. Yeah. That's good. I know. That's good.

I don't have to. Wait. What did you roll? I rolled a four. That's fine. I think I charm her by ask by asking about a particularly plush pile of moss. Uh huh. I say it's very soft. When's the last time you petted a moss? This this morning. That's great. You know, murderers don't care about moss. But we do. We love moss. I I I don't doubt that you three are not responsible, but blood debts must be paid. What can we expect at council? You can expect deliberation over what's to be done.

Consternation. Sure. Probably from some adulation. No, definitely not adulation. Preparation. Preparation for judgment. Sure. Masturbation. Definitely not. Masturbation. Masturbation. Maybe. By who? One of the. By whom? Besser. The green speaker. Clay leader is she's she frequently snacks. Oh, tell tell her. I also snack. So we have that in common. And then and therefore we would make good friends. So she probably want to keep us alive for that reason. What enclave do you entail from?

I am a member of the green speakers. Ah. Yeah. As you can tell from telling me. Oh, I didn't even know. I didn't know. No, I didn't. My hooves. Yes. Cool. I take the form of the dough. A deer. A female deer. In fact, well played. I could smell it coming a mile away. Yeah. So she, she mentioned she, she explained she's a member of the green speakers, which is a clade of ungulates is the even toed ungulates is the easiest way to kind of classify. My first shape was a caribou. Oh, first shape.

Oh yes. Of course. The spirit Walker. See, he's the spirit Walker. And then in the background, tech goes spirit Walker. He is the Druid of greatest power. He's doing this exaggerated walk. He's walking with his arms. Cause this is a play that they, I, she stops and she turns around. I shouldn't be telling you this, but if you have any hope of making it through this council alive with your hides intact, do not attempt to lean on the fact that you are the spirit Walker.

It will not be met with adulation. Why not? The spirit Walker. Is not a figure of popular renown. Yes. Not amongst us. You represent a great imbalance in the spiritual world. They will not look on you kindly. Have there been other spirit Walkers in the past stories, but none for millennia. Oh, uh, Savannah, what's something we can do to make sure that we are safe. Uh, I wish I knew. I wish I could tell you. I appreciate everything you've told me us. Thank you.

And she turns and leads you further down the clearing into the trees, a small path. And then you exit the tree line. You hear the crash of the waves as you reach what is clearly the other side. And you come out onto a huge cliff, basically bare stone that pokes out onto the ocean and near the top of the cliff. It kind of flattens out into the Stoney plateau. And then you go down the cliff and you see a huge cliff. And you're like, I can't believe this is happening.

I can't believe this is happening. And then you go down the cliff and you see a huge stoney plateau that looks like maybe it was carved into a flat surface thousands of years ago. And you see seven figures kind of in a semi-circle on the edge of the cliff. And where they're standing is worn. The rock has worn. There's been so many people standing there. Yeah. And as you get closer, you see that there is also a worn, uh, section in the middle, like of sort of the midway point of the semi-circle.

Billy does the cat thing again. He realizes how very high up he is from probably sharp rocks below. He gets really low on the ground. He's also like bursting with flowers and, uh, just pedals everywhere. He's very stressed out. Oh no. Yeah. We look like a wedding party walking to the altar. Yeah. Walking like one foot left foot. Um, yeah. And kind of around the, around the circle, they're like fires burning.

Small fires sort of light the area as the, um, the daylight begins to fade in the fog and you, what you believe to be moonlight is beginning to rise. Oh yeah. The sun sets below the horizon and like the darkness of the gray becomes pitch black. Yeah. Oh, night envelops you the blanket of dusk. Um, do we see stars above us? No. Whoa. That's very dark. Extremely dark. Um, yeah.

And you, so you see the seven people arrayed, uh, on this cliff side, uh, one very clearly empty space, uh, sort of off to the end of the right side where there is a worn patch of stone that has no one standing in it. And you are brought forward, uh, in the center facing you is a grim Shay, the man with the octopus sucker rings on his arms. He crosses his arms. He's standing in front of you and says the oval council has been destroyed.

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, stone high I knew you were right far right kind of guy I think I said left didn't I no did I say right he said far right ah shit yeah I mean maybe but I said the right was the empty one but uh yeah next to the empty spot stone I go stone high and a woman next to him who's probably in her 40s or 50s with antlers says basara and then grim shea says grim shea next to him a woman elderly probably 70 or 80 with um it looks like weeping willow strands hanging from her hair says valari the willow's daughter oh cool um next is a young guy like surprisingly got a young guy like maybe in his early 20s with um totally like yellow eyes with uh like the black slit pupils says aldous of the empty sky next is probably a 40 year old man who looks like he's got um like he's basically got a ton of chest hair but it's uh it's like thick and gray like a pelt uh and he goes hidara man eater and uh the next one is uh a woman with um yeah like like she's got like a black kind of like pelt running down like her neck and uh some of her shoulders um she just says noreen that's her name her name's noreen she doesn't have a cool name except her clade is called the silent step which is pretty tight but grim shea who is obviously the leader of the council or at least uh the speaker says you are before this council today to stand in judgment of the past transgressions of the iliana what say you what are the charges brought before my name you trespass in conflict with an accord made long ago your presence on these islands cannot be allowed how was I supposed to know this your lack of preparation is not the concern of this council but the breaking of the accords I was told of no accord how can that be this was placed upon your family I don't know if my mother was here you could ask her but she's not mother my mother was a iliana I have just learned that it is a family name and not her first name describe this mother you describe your mother if she bears the name iliana then her kin are not allowed on these islands or in these waters why I am on trial at pain of death you will tell me why you will attempt to draw my blood blasphemy jesus christ these guys blasphemy runs in your very veins we will not stand for you now now forward and he goes that's right stone eye it is time for trial by combat I step forward as a champion of the iliana line and I demand to be fought for you know and then he this he starts losing he starts losing the threat for our freedom yeah yeah our freedom for our freedom for freedom to travel in these waters and on land and on the land and in air and in the air and in the other worlds and then tuck kneels in front of ving and he like leans his head forward and he's like give me give me the fucking tiara dude he puts a tiara on his head you are of the iliana line henceforth be known to all challengers and courts who will be challenged by you tuck stands up and he just puts his hands in the air and then he just stands there like that for a minute and no one's saying anything and uh all this of the empty sky laughs so hard this is a farce this is astounding they know nothing of our ways and then I go dude my life is a farce I that I doubt not traveler I I simply in all my days on this council and the willow's daughter goes it's not that many all this don't use that you've only been here for about a year in all my days on this council I have never seen something that brings me such mirth as this buffoon is this what you've been taught of our ways and one of your ways assaulting and capturing innocent travelers like us we're not here to steal or anything like that we were just on our way to the north and you're the ones I point at stone eyes you're the one who brought us here against our will you were trespassing trespassing where not on this land in the the waters of hibernia I explained this already to all of you and how else are we to get there council I'm not going to be there for you I'm going to be there for you I'm going to be there for you if there's not safe passage.

And Grimshay puts his hand on his forehead and goes, frankly, I am not sure the point that any of you are trying to make. And then Tuck goes, he's still got his arms raised above his head and he goes, the point I'm trying to make is, I think Stone Eyes is too scared to fight me. And then he goes, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk! And he, uh… Hey, that's actually a friend of his. Yeah. All this of the empty sky goes, careful. And then he goes, sorry dude.

And then he turns to Stone Eyes and he goes, are you a chicken or a walrus? And I want to use what are you waiting for to try and goad him into agreeing to this trial by combat. I'll tell you the situation right now. Okay. Even off mic. Trial by combat? No precedent for that in this council. Not even one. Like, this is not a thing that they do. Uh, but what you would be doing now is goading Stone Eyes into attacking you. Okay. Like, not, I accept your challenge and adhere to the rules.

More, I'm gonna beat your ass. And then what? We'll see, I guess. It is the next thing that seems to be happening. Yeah, totally. Because you guys have used your usual tactic of annoy everybody that is even trying to cross you at all. 2d6 plus what, charisma? Constitution? Constitution. Here we go! 13. Whoa. 13. Um, yeah, so, what do you, like, all you say is what are you, a chicken or a walrus? Yeah, what are you, a chicken or a walrus?

I don't know if I should be eating you fried or with uh, surf or turf. Oh, yeah. And then tacos, that's pretty good. And Stone Eye roars and just strides forward and tries to punch you in the face. Okay. Rola, what do you, what do you do? I'll just dodge out of the way. Okay. Yeah. Five danger dexterity. Okay, well, 10. Yeah. Nice. He lumbers forward and takes, like, a massive haymaker swing at you and you just step out of the way.

Yeah, I think he's not used to fighting people who aren't, who don't, like, flinch back. Uh-huh. So he, like, overextends and tuck, like, ducks underneath his punch and gets behind him. And then, are you just trying to get him to keep trying to hit you? No, I punch him in the kidney really hard. Okay, there you go. Oh, God. Hack and slash. Nine. Okay, so, uh, yeah, roll your damage. Four. And then roll a d12. Holy shit. Remember? Two. Oh, shit. Wow. That's annoying for him.

Uh, so, yeah, you hammer him in the kidney and, um, you realize that this is a big dude, but, uh, there's a lot of muscle under there. Uh-huh. Like, it hurts when you punch him. Um, but you do, he, like, grunts. And he turns around and, like, backhand just smacks you in the face with his huge fist. And he's gonna keep trying to fight you, but, like, members of the council are stepping forward. Like, Hedara, Maneater, and Aldis are trying to grab Stoneye. Ving steps in with a fight with honor.

I wanna roll. Okay. So I can take a blow meant for somebody. Uh, yeah, sure. Roll plus con. Twelve. Okay. So I get three hold. Yep, so you got your hold now. So I block a blow meant for me or someone else, and I take half the damage. Uh… So he's gonna try and hit Tuck again. Oh, yeah, he's gonna try and hit him again. For sure. Yeah, he's, he's, like, storming towards you. He's trying to get you in a, in a bear hug. Okay. Yeah. Uh, so what do you do?

I kinda wanna, you know when someone charges, I wanna, like, wrap my arms around him and then rock bottom him, basically. Like, flip him over my head. Yeah. Full suplex. Yeah. Okay, so defy danger strength, I guess. Okay. Here we go. Thirteen. Okay. Then you go ahead and roll your hack and slash. We have monster rolls today. Eight. Okay. Okay. So again, d10 and then roll a d12. Three. Four. Goddamn. I was so excited for that huge attack.

Um, yeah, so you, uh, you know, tense all of your muscles and pick this guy up over your head. It's insane to watch. It's like Tuck is picking up a little bus, basically. Yeah, totally. The ground shakes when Stoneye hits the ground. Yeah. He, um, hits and he grunts, like, you see him bite his lip or something and blood starts to pour out of his mouth. And then he is a, uh, an elephant seal. And you realize, oh, he's not a walrus or a chicken. He's a third animal.

And, um, yeah, this is when Ving, I guess, is going to step in and take half this blow. Yeah. So you're going to take two points. You're going to take two points. So basically he is an elephant seal and he rears up to his full elephant seal height and tries to come down with like a massive chomp on Tuck. But both of you basically like catch him. Yeah. We both grab a tusk. Yeah. Elephant seals don't have tusks, but I know what you mean. Yeah. They have big floppy. Elephant nose.

We each grab a nipple. Come here. The council members get around Stoneye and like where there were six other human beings. There's now a huge caribou. There is a massive gray like dire wolf tree, a full like willow tree with arms and legs. Grim Shay has not changed form because he turns into an octopus. But then there's like, you know, an owl and a panther and they're all just like trying to break the three of you up. Can I use connections for the fairy? Oh, yeah. That's like the underworld.

Yeah. Okay. So this is what I want to do. Yeah. I want to ask the fairy to aid us basically. Yeah. And what like what so what are you asking them to do? Like age you? What do you mean? Like help fight for us or stop the council somehow like either manipulate the land or use some sort of charm to protect us or something like that. Okay. Yeah. Go ahead and roll connections. Okay. Eight. So I'll have to settle for something closer. It comes with strings attached. Okay.

I think I think this all happens like in an instant like Billy's like hyper cognition like speaking with a fairy and getting all this like information right. Yeah. Really quick. There's a lot of roots coming actually from me like, you know, like a strawberry vine in a way. Yeah. And it's basically like me reaching out for help. Yeah, totally. I like the I like the I like the you said in the Phalan to the time moves differently. It does.

So you'd be off like going to council meetings like let's have a sleepover and talk about this. Yeah, let's talk this out. Yeah. So you end up you have a little sleepover in a strawberry bush with a little strawberry fairy. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I can. Oh, yeah, we can help but you have to promise to do something for me. Okay. What would you like? I'll tell you what it is later. Later? Later. Come on. Come on. You can trust me, but you're going to do a good job, right?

I'm going to make sure that we're fine. Mm-hmm. Are other fairies going to help you or is it just you? Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, then you have a deal and we wrap our little vines together. Yeah. Pinky promise. Oh, oh shit. Fuck you. No. And the little strawberry fairy is like, oh, how'd you get me? I always do. Fairies are so fucking stupid. And Billy, you like that only took like half a second in reality.

And then all of these from the edges, like up around the cliff through the cracks in the rock and from the edge of the forest, like vines, like blackberry vines, strawberry vines start shooting out. They're like snapping at the council and they're like coming up, like breaking through the rock and they wrap around tuck thing. Stone.

I everybody that's fighting, they try and get all this, but he's flapping around in the air and there's like a great like straining sound as they all get pulled apart. And now they're all just like struggling against these vines. Stone. I told you, leave my friends alone. He's a he's in his lion form. He's like, you change back so we can have an actual conversation. Yeah, he's in it.

He's a guy again, like he his body changes and now he's just this like huge like he I have a lot more power than any of you. So you listen to us. The Willow's daughter looks at you and goes, Who are you? I'm Billy and I am one of the spring fairies and I am a I am from here and I have been here millennia before any of you guys were roll 26 plus charisma. Okay, please nine. Okay, can we aid? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, so how I was thinking of somehow using something to bring you out more fairiness like to bring out the plant like to like like I'm do not take me for a conjurer of cheap tricks. Yeah, he's like my God like I bring you up and like build what you into his winter war. I was going to say like the wood mechanism. Yeah, you bring me bring me through like the stages of my life cycles with the snow and I swirling lifetime.

Yeah, so I'm you know, like one of the trees and I'm like oaky and strong and tall and then I'm the wind. This is what he's saying to oh, yeah, I am the oak. I am the wind and the wind and then I'm the ice. I'm the ice under your feet and like all this ice comes up under them and I am the dreams that visit you in your sleep and the memories that your grandfather's and your mother's and all those that came before you remember pretty sick. So sick.

I also remember I didn't yeah, so hopefully that works. Yeah. Hell yeah, seven. Yeah, it just works it. So yeah, it's it's more being kind of tips Billy over the edge with this influence and this in this energy starts to overtake Billy. So like his from what you can see his body like his form is changing. He's becoming the summer and the autumn and the winter. Yeah, shifting through all these forms. He's taken over the over the eons. Yeah, and my winter form is frightening. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's a warrior. Yeah, you know, I'm like a I'm like a wood sort of like a wooden man, but like with stone and ice and I'm like so angry looking fucking made to kill yeah, me like what weapon ax my advice, but I've also got like a huge bow and arrow, but I also have like arrows through me. I'll fight anyway. Yeah, like so so you're like fraud like horror frost. Yeah, and all my scars are iced over cool.

Yeah, I like the idea of having your ice ax so you can like as like a punctuation to what you're saying. Yeah, like slam it down and shatter it on there like yeah, you like slam it into the rock and the ice shoots out under their feet. Cool. Yeah, it smashes the X and if you do anything to harm my friends all the fairies behind me on this land will destroy you and we'll take back our home because we let you live here in our good graces and one by one the members of the Oval Council clap.

No, they they take their human forms and the vines. I imagine recede. Yeah, as they've all calmed down and take back their steps, but they're all looking at Billy with this like quiet. Oh, and fear. Yeah, I'm a child again, but I'm furious walk over and put the tear on your head. Thanks Hadara Maneater says what have you brought to us? No one has brought anything. I have come home. That's a fucking cool line. Sorry sorry that got me really psyched Grim Shay turns to stone.

I and says that is not how a member of this council comports themselves control your urge is stone. I or we will find another for your place and then tuck goes. Yes, don't I? Don't I burn and he goes burn and he just goes like and a bunch of like salt spray like comes out of his nostrils like mist like he's just like sinus infections there. They'll fucking do you and man Grim Shay holds up his hand says enough.

Okay, Bessara steps forward says you must understand you represent a great challenge for our community. This Accord was laid long ago by whom by this council this very cancel this council as an entity. You must understand that this is not something that we can overlook. We must come to a conclusion. Well, the conclusion doesn't have to be blood innocent blood. What do you suggest? I'm not sure. I mean, I can't account for everything that all my relatives have done.

There's a name that I'm coming to later in life and I can vouch for one of the people who held it and I would like to do so on her behalf in her memory. Yeah, so they're basically like what are you? What is your I will tell you the history that I know about myself. And then you tell me what you know about myself what you assume to know about me in this name that is attached to my life. My mother Ileana raised me in the north in old sheer.

She's the one who taught me how to harness my Druid abilities. She taught me how to live off the land. She taught me how to believe in myself and trust myself. She taught me that I was thinking of let's stop me dead. I was like that love is conditional.

That's obviously what she taught me because she's the one who raised me so she didn't do a good job of not doing that and so after she died I went to stay with my father who was a Ranger King in the great forest and I lived with him in the court of the woods and I left there with only memories of her and her name and this song that she sang me in my heart. And then he sings the lullaby. Oh yeah.

If your bones start to feel the cold, snuggle up with me and be told and when you're all warm in bed mama will tell you when the snow turned red. And when the U-Strong arrows fly, remember the words of this lullaby. As the birds pluck arrows from the sky, rally behind those with stones for eyes. And if your loved one raises arms, hold them close while they do you harm. For bringing love across on ships and the kiss from death upon my lips.

You Grim Shay says you are the son of an Illyana and a Ranger? I am the son of Illyana my mother and the Ranger King. Then you are twice damned. Go on. I don't think I had to try. I told you all my stuff. Are you saying that your mother was the Defiler? I maybe. I never knew her to defile. That's not possible. She was killed on these islands. She was killed at the hands of my father. What do you know of the Rangers?

I know that the Illyana's brought death to these islands at the hands of the Rangers. They came to this island seeking the Defiler. The false Illyana. And they brought their armies with them. What does false Illyana mean? An outsider. A traveler. Someone that works the foul energies. They took her in. And she brought death in her wake. Are you saying that my mother wasn't an Illyana? That she adopted the name? Is that what you mean?

And then Tuck leans in and he's like, hey, uh, QQ, uh, just, some of us are a little behind, uh, what did the Defiler do? She used her foul magics to create life. Whole cloth. She bore an unnatural child. What are you saying? If you are her son, then you were not born of woman, but of darkness. And of witchcraft. Watch where you're pointing that finger. I point it where it needs to be pointed. Well, you might see that there's three more pointing at you.

I've never thought about it like that before. I'm not my mother's son. She created me. So you mean? She did. She carried you. She birthed you. But there was no father. There was only her magic. She was a wizard. They all spit on the ground. Alright, so, can you come into a huddle with Bill here, please? I could use a hug, actually. Alright. We hug him. Thanks, guys. And we're like, okay, so. This is, he's really, really cryptic, right? I know he's super beaten around the bush.

Can't really tell what he's saying, but is he saying that your mom is a wizard? Yeah. And that your dad is not your dad? I think that's what it sounds like. Excuse me, Grimshaw. Grimshay. We didn't see that Billy, oh. Billy left the huddle. I just turn around. Sorry, Grimshay. Are you saying that Ving's mom is a wizard? I know that you don't like the word. Yes. Pretty cool.

And the Illianas harbored her while she did her dark work, betrayed everything that we on these islands hold dear, and brought death in her wake. But not by any fault of her own? By her very existence. But did she choose to be that way? I don't think so. Existence is not a damnation. Her choice is irrelevant. How is it irrelevant? Lives were lost because she came here. Her life was lost! Druid, you know more than anyone the laws of life and nature. It just happens sometimes.

Or have you forgotten? Yeah. Yeah, I think you forgot too. Yeah. I mean, as much as we know, magic is bestowed upon us by nature. Um, I mean, you're not making a, you're not making a… Can I roll for it? You can make it, yeah. Defy Danger Charisma. Seven. Seven. Nice. Okay, so they're not gonna just kill the three of you.

Um, but uh, Hedara Maneater has been like literally growling where he stands, like, you can hear him growling in his throat, and he spits on the ground and goes, We may have came from a single source, but we work with the energies of life. The wizards bend them to their will. And do you not bend the spirits to your will? We work in conjunction with the spirits. I don't know about that. You know nothing of our ways, fairy. Oh! Holy shit!

He really explodes into bloom, and he's like, I know everything. Oh fuck. What are you, what are you gonna, is there some show of force that you're gonna attempt? Like, let me know how this feels. I take the knowledge, the Tree of Knowledge seed, and I plunge it, like, with my like, stone fist from my winter fairy body, into the ground. Sick. And I wanna see if that does anything. Yeah, what, what, what, what do you try, what do you think it would do? I kinda think it would grow right there.

Yeah? Is that stupid? No. Here, here's my, here's my suggestion. Yeah? Cause you can make the immaterial material. Yeah? Time is immaterial. So you could just take time and pour it into the seed, and make it grow into a full tree. Yeah, maybe I'll do that. That's intense. Watch the rocks, like, The divot where we're, where like, you know, the judged would stand, like, that's where I'm gonna grow that tree. Oh, cool. And it will hold a lot of my memories. Oh, cool. Yeah.

Okay, then you are gonna roll for lightning in a bottle. Is that okay? Yeah. Nine. It's nine. Eight. How so? Yeah. I bring in the elements to the, for the, for the tree. Yeah? Yeah. Oh, to feed it. To feed it, water it, light, create a hole, use the weather weaver move that I didn't take to make a hole in the fog for sunlight to get in. Yeah, totally. Two to six plus bond. Nice. Nine. Okay. Yeah, so ten.

So this terrifying figure of ice and stone plunges their fist into the ground with this tree of knowledge, and it begins to grow. What does it look like? What kind of tree is it? Um, it is an oak tree. And the bark is like a very shiny reddish brown color. Mm-hmm. Kinda like my hair. Nice. Yeah. And it's, is it like just enormous? Yeah. Or is it just like a full grown? It's pretty big. Yeah. Um. Picture, it looks like an Arbutus in my head because of the red bark. Oh, actually, you know what?

Yeah, it is like an Arbutus. And it's on the, like a cliff on the rocks. Yeah. Cool. Oh, yeah. Exactly. So it's an Arbutus, and a lot of the knowledge is on the leaves, but it's also on the bark, and the bark peels. Yeah. There's so many peelings that are coming off this tree because of so many memories. Mm-hmm. Oh, cool. So beautiful. Um. Layers and layers. Yeah.

And this all happens, you know, centuries pass in a heartbeat as this tree bursts from the rock, cracking the stone around it, uh, its trunk growing, arcing off in wildly twisting shapes until a towering Arbutus tree canopies this entire cliffside, and the council is dumbfounded. Yeah. They're just staring at the tree, mouth agape. You are welcome to read through my lifetimes. And you'll find that I and we and the wizards all come from one place. Ooh, nice.

Grimshay gathers himself, looks to the three of you, but seems to be addressing Billy in a very respectful way. And I'm a kid again. Yeah. Uh, and he says, we must deliberate. Yeah, do you mind if I, like, go get a snack? Please. But I request, and he says request, not demand, I request that you remain in the village until we come to a decision. Yeah, I saw some really good fish being cooked. Um, I think I'm gonna go there. Very well. Can I bring my friends? Please.

A bunch of members of the council try and make eye, like, they make eye contact with you, Ving, as you're leaving. And they don't look happy. Um, maybe the willow's daughter is a little softer in how she looks at you. Stone-Eye is staring Tuck dead in the face. And Tuck gives him a thumbs up. I can't tell where you're looking. You don't have pupils, man. Our time is not done. And Tuck's like, okay, well, we could settle it, lay it here, man. And we will. Okay.

Here on this island, or out in the sea, you and I will meet again. Okay. And if you don't show up, I'll tell everyone that you're scared again. And Tuck is like, leaving, he's like, that's totally cool, we will meet again. I'll be down in the village. Okay, I'm going. And he waves you away. And then I I'll see you later. And then Tuck is like, do you know where Servana went? Or… He asks Stonai. And you're leaving. Stonai has completely turned his back on you. He's not interested. Cool. Okay.

And Servana meets you at the edge of the forest. Hey! You're alive. That's more than I would have expected, to be honest. Yeah, they're gonna discuss stuff. And we're allowed to get a snack if you want to come. And she looks over and sees the knowledge tree that's grown out of the cliffside. And she like, steps back. Goes, wha… Oh, I had… It was pretty cool. We found one of the seeds a long time ago. Yeah. And it's just been waiting for somewhere to grow, so I just put it there.

It's a perfect spot, really. Yeah. Um, I I'll… Okay. And I wrote you a poem while I was back there. Let's get back to the village. And she turns around and starts walking away. And as she's walking away, I'm following her, I was like, to the beautiful Servana. I would like to see your bra. I should tell you, I've taken a vow of celibacy. So, I don't know what to… You know what? Me too, in a lot of ways. I've kinda taken an… I've kinda taken an involuntary vow of celibacy.

Some people would call me an involuntary celibate, or an incel. But not… With all the negative connotations. Not the way that you're thinking about it. Just the fact that nobody fucks me. It's not like a… It's not like a thing. It's just I personally have taken a vow of celibacy to greater connect with the spiritual energies of blah blah blah blah. Me too. All the green speakers are celibate. Yet, up top, Ving, high fives. She high fives Ving. She clop clop clop. Heads back to the village.

So, celibacy, like, does that include mouth and hand stuff? Oh my god. Billy covers his ears for this. And she leads you back to town. And you go back to… Mouth and hand stuff. You go back to the hut that you were in before and someone has thrown three bedrolls in there. And, yep, you're led back to the hut. The two selkies that were guarding you are gone, but you've been asked by Grimshay not to leave the island until they come to a conclusion. Great. Is there poo still in the hut?

There is, yep. I clean it out. Ving clings it out. I'll help you. That's fine. It's just, guys, it's one shit. Most of my piss mostly washed away, so, yeah. It's really on me now. There's no drainage in here, so the piss is just also everywhere. Servana looks… Squeegeeing the floor. Servana's at the doorway and she looks around and goes, well, have a good night. It smells like piss and shit in here. It does. And she walks away. Thank you for letting us sleep in your toilet. Uh… Uh… Uh…

So gross. Uh… Can… After we clean the poo, can we go get some fish? Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, let's do that. Yeah, no one's guarding you, but you've just been asked not to leave the island. Let's go get some fish and some seaweed wrap. Scallops. Yeah. And there is a… There are, you know… It's pretty late now, but there is… There are some people that have made some fish for you. There's 24-hour fish fry. Yeah. And you know what else I bet it is? Uh… The nocturnal druids. Oh.

Because some of them take nocturnal forms. Oh, yeah. So they're up at night and they sleep during the day. So there's like, uh… One that has like, uh… Like raccoon rings around his eyes. Like straight up just… He turns into a raccoon. Oh, hi! Welcome. Are you hungry? Yes. Thank you. Alright. Well, I've got some, um… I got some fish here. I got, uh… It's like a sliced thin vegetables. He's basically like a diner cook, but like on a hot rock. Yeah.

He's got a little apron on, but it's like made out of leather and he's got raccoon rings around his eyes. Hi, I'm Ving. I'm, uh… Uh, you could… Oh, uh… Wow, what a lame name. What? You can call me Shadow Snout. It's a new name I'm working on. It's because when I take my form, I'm quite… It's dark and I have a snout and I keep to the shadows. So you're, like, really good at smelling things at night. Oh, I got a keen sense of smell all times of day.

Must suck to have to work with fish all the time, man. Oh, it's amazing. Oh. You ever smelled fish? I don't. Smelled. And he kinda, like, wafts his hands in front of the fish. It smells pretty good. It's really fresh. Billy floats towards… Like a little buddy with a pie. Yeah. Caught fresh this morning just by me. I went down and I turned into a raccoon. I grabbed him with me little hands and I brought him back up here to cook. Cool. Wow. Cute. So good. Thank you. Thank you. It is cute.

Compliments to the chef. Hey, thanks little boy. Wow. Hey, are you… Are you… And he leans… He leans way down and goes, are you a… A fairy? Me? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. He stands back up and goes, wow. I mean, there's a lot here, you know. I've always thought there must be. Do you not know where you are? Yeah, is it not part of what you… I mean, like, it's part of… How you live here? Yeah, well, no, it's part of the… Part of the history of the island, sure, but not part of my everyday life.

I mean, I mean, there's a fairy right there. I point to the bush I jumped in to earlier. That bush there? Yeah. That's a fairy. That's a… Wow. That's a fairy. And the tree over there, that's a winter fairy. Whoa! So they have seen a lot. Don't say, don't say, don't say. Huh. There could be fairies everywhere. Oh, no! Yeah. He's like a really polite waiter, basically. Wow. Yeah, flipping his fish. Wow, you don't say. Yeah, they see…

They see you when you're sleeping, they know when you're awake. They know if you're being battered. And they watch you in the toilet, too. No, we don't! Yeah, and then Tuck's like, yeah, they do. Not always. Just if I also have to go to the toilet, and you're taking a long time. So I have to make sure you're okay. Yeah. So be good. So be quick for goodness sake. Yeah. Flashback to, like, Tuck sitting on the toilet, and Billy just opening the door, and Tuck's like, Billy, privacy.

This, we've talked about this so many times. I like that Billy's shadow walks through the door. Billy, you can't use the shadow! Like, he's banging on the door, and he's like, Tuck, you can't walk. Let me in! I leave the door open, and like, Cash walks by, and he's like, Tuck, what's wrong with you? Are you fucking kidding me? Gross! Just imagining… He trips over Billy's sleeping body, lands an open door of shit shitting.

I'm just imagining the door swinging open, and Billy standing there, just like, arms at his sides, no expression on his face, staring at Tuck. Billy, close the door! Sorry. Just making sure you're okay. I'm okay. It smells like somebody died in there. I'm taking a shit. I just… You just take a long time. Yeah. Sorry. He's like, dishes. Billy, close the door, honey! Vinging that. Cooking me a frilly apron. Yeah. Uh… We just did a flashback to an extended scene of Tuck taking a shit. Yeah.

Four different times of Billy walking in the… Yeah, those were four separate incidents. Yeah. Him shadow walking through, him standing there with no expression on his face. And the cash one. Yeah, cash walking by, Ving making dinner. Happened a lot. So funny. Uh, yeah, so Shadow Snout is like, yeah, wow, fairy, huh? Chup, chup, chup, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip. Well, fairies like fish. I love fish. Well, here you go. And he puts it on a little bark plate, hands it over. Thank you.

You're welcome. Thank you so much. You too, here you go. Thank you. Thank you very much. Enjoy. Can I have some more fish? Yeah, yeah, yeah, here you go. I can't really eat the vegetables. Oh, that's fine. Oh, fine. I'll take… I'm on a keto diet. Oh, hey, you know what? Honestly, a lot of the people on this island are technically on a keto diet, so… I myself eat garbage, so it doesn't really make a difference to me. I eat anything. What's your favorite garbage? Oh, like a banana peel. Oh.

Delicious. Really? Yeah, I love them. Oh, cool. You must not get them a lot up here. No, so rare. Oh, I had a banana peel once, oh, I want to say six or seven years ago, and I still think about it. I still have a piece of it. It's because everybody thinks that the flavor's in the banana, but the flavor leaches into the peel. That's why bananas are so soft and gross. But the peel is firm and vibrant. So you think that flavor makes things harder? Yeah. That's all the best foods are hard.

You got nuts, you got… Salt? Salt. You got jerkies, hard meat, soft meat? Gross. Hard meat? Delicious. Servana gave me some hard meat earlier. I don't understand if that is a joke or if she actually gave you some jerky. She did give me jerky. Okay. All right, well, I mean, we could keep, we could keep gobbing away, shooting the breeze, but I'll just be, you know, up. I'm gonna, I'm probably gonna go fuck around in the woods in a little bit. This is prime nighttime, prime nighttime.

Sleep in a tree, dig around in a hole, find something to smell. Oh, I love those activities. Yeah, I love it. I love being a raccoon. That's a great… That sounds fun. Billy's wearing the skin, right? I am. And he's like, hey. What? Are you, are you like a… Oh, this. Yeah. It's really old. I found it a long time ago. Oh, okay. Don't worry. Just wanted to make sure it wasn't anyone I knew. Oh, don't worry about it. Oh, oh, anyway. Probably not.

My granddad got turned into a hat, so I decided I'd check. Um, Billy… Billy's like, oh, shit. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's not, it's not a weird thing here. Okay. You know, we understand we're part of the cycle of life, and animals are part of the circle as well. People hunt animals. I eat meat. A lot of people on this island, you know, are predators. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. It just happens. Part of the way things go. Yeah, definitely nothing unnatural here on this island.

Everything's just as it is everywhere else in nature. He's thinking about maybe being a mermaid instead of born. Right on, brother. Oh, no. Right, yeah, we totally forgot about that. Yeah, we look at Bing like, hey, are you okay? And you hear a in the distance. Yeah. Yeah, you know what? He looks up at the sky. I'm gonna go fuck around in the woods. And he takes his apron off, walks three feet, turns into a raccoon, and scurries off into the shadows. I love that guy. I love him. I love that guy.

I love him. Yeah, Billy's got tears in his eyes. His eyes, because the fish's so good. He cooked so much of it. He did, and it is excellent. But yeah, you guys are just kind of standing around the fire. It's pretty quiet. Seems like most of the nocturnal druids are going about their days. Is there anything we should find out while we're… Yeah. I wanna know more about what the fuck they're talking about. About your mom being a wizard? Yeah. Do you think that's why my dad killed her? Maybe.

Oh shit, right. Remember Shathane told us that the rangers hunted wizards? Yeah. Also, like, does that mean that your dad is not your dad? I mean, where do I get all these from? Well, like I have… Like your elf ears? I'm elf ears and I have the tail of a druid? Yeah. I don't know what's going on. Can we, like, Spout Lore or something? Yeah. Or you could um… I mean, Perel is down on the boat. That's what I was thinking. We could maybe go talk to Perel. I was hoping that Perel we could go…

Yeah. So you head back down to the boat. Yeah. And there are Selkie guards, um, in their seal forms. Asleep, for sure. Look how cute they are. Like that laying full on their back. Yeah. Their fins stretch sometimes. Yeah. Well, some… A couple of them have done that thing where they pull their heads, like, into their bodies so they just look like a sausage. Cute. Um, but you get the idea. You've been asked not to leave. If you try to leave, the Selkies will try to stop you.

We're too captivated. Billy's home. This is… Yeah. You got a cool fight coming up. I feel like we're here to stop. Oh, yeah. I'm looking forward to that for sure. You're the one who asked for it, though. I know, but I thought there was, like, a lot more on the… I thought I could just fix this whole situation by beating him up. And that was not the case. It was not at all the case. I misread that whole situation wildly. I misread that whole situation wildly. They were really confusing and…

I get it. Such a cryptic group. I'm sorry I took that from you, but it's so much funnier for Trial by Combat to just not be a thing. I challenge you to a fight. Okay. That's not a thing. If you want a fight, we'll fight. But yeah, the boat is there. Hardcore beached. Um… Oh, right. Yeah. You actually see Ollie is leaned up against the hull. It looks like he's been trying to patch up, uh… Patch up the scratches, like maybe paint over some stuff or father shit or whatever. Yeah.

But it looks like everybody on the boat is asleep. It's the middle of the night. Pirello, I think my mom was a wizard. So you're like in the hull, like waking… Like inside the boat, waking Pirello. Yeah, I lost it. I'm standing over… What? Standing over him saying that. What? Hey, he's got a little butter knife. And he holds it and goes, what? I like push it back into his forehead. Ah, fuck. Oh, hi guys. Hi. I think my mom was a wizard. What? What do you… What? What do you mean?

That's what the druids up there were saying. Mm-hmm. Can you… Can you guys give me like 30 seconds? Alright. One, two, three. Oh my god. He's like rubbing his eyes. He's pat… Like pawing around for his glasses. He's wearing a long shirt, like just a night shirt, and that's it. Like he's like one of the kids from Peter Pan? Exactly. Okay. Yeah. I go get his pants. Yeah, thanks. He might want these. I imagine he puts his pants on, but then he tucks his incredibly long shirt into the…

Into the pants. It takes forever, and then he's just got like a poo around his waist. They're not pants, they're shorts, and they're… Yeah. …coming out of the bottoms. Let me just get some shorts on. Uh, so like five, ten minutes later, you guys are down the beach. You've built a little fire, and you filled Perel in on the whole situation. Yeah. And Perel is just like, like he's resting his chin on his fist, looking at the fire and going, wow. That can't be true, right? Uh, I mean…

I mean, my ears, my tail… I mean, there were… There was a lot of talk about the creation of sentient life via Thaumaturgy, but it was like pie in the sky, maybe one day, hopefully soon, we'll see kind of thing. Can wizards have kids? Like once you kind of like become a wizard, can you have a kid? Um… What do we think? I guess probably not. Maybe like the process of becoming… Like the biological change of being a wizard. Right, your physiology totally changes.

Yeah, so maybe you become incapable of reproduction. Yeah. Cause there's always the chance that you would create a wizard, which would unbalance the whole point of… Right. Yeah. So she must have been… She must have got pregnant before she became a wizard, if that's what happened. Or she figured out how to make herself pregnant, like cause she wanted to have a child. Yeah. So she was trying to solve this problem. Holy shit. If that's true, one, your mom… Wait, how long ago were you born?

Um… In around 80 years, I don't know. So that means, one, that your mom survived the Exodus, somehow. I guess the druids took her in, the Ilianas took her in for some reason, and she was able to give birth to you. She hid her wizardry in with the druids. And she learned to be a druid. Yeah. With them. She was able to, yeah, become a druid, make herself a druid, and then make you a druid. Mm-hmm.

So if your dad isn't your dad, maybe the fact that you were raised to believe that he was your dad is why you became half-elf. Oh shit. And as she's saying this, Ving's, like, countenance is, like, softens in the points of his ears, like Whoa! Holy shit! What? And his, uh, his, uh, his gills close. What the fuck? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

And he comes down to his hands, and then he holds them in front of, in front of him, puts them together, and puts them back against his chest, and my gills open, and my ears go back. What? What the fuck? Have you done that before? No. But somehow I I knew I could. I don't know how to explain that. What am I? Who am I? Well, well, now hold on, hold on, hold on. And he, Perel's, like, put his hands up, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, dude.

If what your mother achieved is what she achieved, you are yourself. You're a person. You're Ving. You're not a trick. You're not a creature. A replicate. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You bleed. You breathe. You eat. You sleep. You drink. She created life. You've died before. The only things that can die are things that are alive. I didn't really die, did I? This is a lot. This is a, this is a quite a head scratcher. Perel's basically like, just give me some time.

I'm gonna try and see if I can't remember anything about anyone that would have been involved in this. This line of work. This school of magic that disappeared around the time of the Exodus. I'll see what I can figure out. What do you, do you know anything about the Ilianas? Can you find out about them too? The druids? Like, you keep talking about it like it's, but are all the druids up here called Ilianas? Or is there different families? No, there, no, this is Sean.

There are different families for sure, but you know that the Ilianas were a family line from Hibernia that were cast out. Yeah. I wonder if, because there's runes everywhere on this island. Oh, right. There are on the tree, like there's knowledge trees. Yeah. And there's runes all on the cliffs and rocks. We could go look and see if there's anything we can read. Oh, yeah. The tree of some, some tree of knowledge has to know this. You can go ask the trees. Yeah, we should definitely do that.

We should go look at the trees. But also, this raises another big question, which is, why the fuck did your dad try to convince you that you were his son? Yeah, why? Like… Well, maybe he… I mean, I don't want to presume too much about your family, but there must have been a time, did your… Your father loved your mother, right? I mean, why would he kill her? He killed her. But why would he take you as his son? Just out of guilt? Maybe, but…

I feel like there's, there's something that's not lining up here. There's some piece that we're missing. Well, I guess there's, uh, only one person who could line this up for us. And then Tuck is like, is it possible that your dad kept you as a weapon? The only child born of a wizard. Like, you can shape-shift into any animal. Or anything, maybe. Yeah. You think you wanted to use me? I mean, he was grooming me to be a ranger. Like him. But, I don't know. It's possible.

Yeah, like you said, I think the only person that knows for sure is him. Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna, and he does that thing where he, uh, puts, he pats his hands on his knees and goes, alright! And stands up and goes, I'm gonna go back to the boat, I'm gonna see if I can, uh, figure something out in regards to your mom. Uh, to, uh, let me know how the tree thing goes. Thanks. See ya. Bye. Bye. Hey, Perel. I mean it, thank you. Hey, I'm, I gotta say, I'm, uh, overjoyed to learn more about this.

This is, you, you represent an incredible breakthrough in the thaumaturgical arts. Uh, and, uh, I just, I can't, you know, this isn't the time, I'm sorry. He's been, like, eyes squinting and getting wider at the same time. No, no, no, this isn't the time. You're right. I'll, I'll see, I'll talk to you guys later. Pat, pat, pat, pat. That's him walking down the beach. I just remembered, we have those bookworms. Oh, shit, right. Oh. I always ask a question. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Ask a question of the library. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, we kinda should at least let Farrah know some of this stuff. Great. Let's send out a bookworm. I love that idea. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, so what do you, what's the bookworm gonna say? We don't have a lot of space, right? Yeah. Cause we only have two of these and we probably don't wanna waste both of them on this thing, right? Yeah. You probably just wanna send one. Ving writes up, unfurls the wings and writes, Farrah, you up?

Starts folding them in. Okay, no, no, no, no, no. You think some more information? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's probably a bit more information. I mean, there's another wing. We could write something on there. Oh, yeah. Sorry, he told us that question mark. It's gone. Uh, yeah, what do we wanna know? We'd let her know. We write in the tiny little lettering. Ving Mom Wizard. We can, we can use like apostrophes and S's and stuff, I think. Oh, sorry. We could use conjunctions. Ving Mom Wizard.

Booking freaks? I freak nature. Um, well, I don't know how to write, so whatever. I guess I'll go kick rocks then. Well, you know how to talk. Barely. I guess. Billy talked good. Billy's gonna go kick rocks. Okay, Ving's mom is a wizard. Yeah. We found, what do you know of wizards creating life? Right. Have you heard of the Ilianas? Yeah. She possibly made me? And then also that she survived the Exodus by being harbored by a druidic family.

What, and then also what do they know of the ranger attack on the Ilianas? And the druid island of Hibernia? Right on both sides of both wings. Yeah. You can see the bookworm's like rolling his eyes, like, come on, hurry up. It's like getting a really long tattoo. Yeah. And yeah, he writes himself, extends his little parchment wings, and flies away. Good luck. And Billy, you're kicking rocks down the beach, and you hear, uh, hey. What? Hey. Ooh, what's up? Where? And you see a little strawberry.

Oh. Walk out of the grass. Look at you. I pick, pick up the strawberry. We had a deal. Yeah, what's, yeah? What? But you wouldn't tell me what it was. Well, I'm about to tell you now. Fine, what is it? That's where we're gonna end it for this week. What the fuck? That's fine, that's fine. I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdulaziz. So long. Playing Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, question mark? Paul Oppers. Whoa. Take care, everybody.

And playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye. Thank you to Aaron Reid of Vancouver Sunday Service for the incredible intro and outro music that he has performed for us live two times a month for six years, really doing us a huge service. Uh, you can find all of the music performed on the show at soundcloud.com slash Spout Lore. Yeah, man. I think. It's a, it just starts out, Spout Lore soundcloud. Yeah. Let Google do the heavy lifting for you there.

Uh, thank you to all of our Patreons who support us. Around the world, you can support us on Patreon for a whack of bonus content at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore dot com slash money, please. Uh, and thank you to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time.

And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times abreast in revelry and the though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly Spout Lore and you may be able to read the lore and the lore and the lore and the lore

Spout Lore is made possible by contributions from our listeners if you would like to support us go to patreon.com Spout Lore where you can get extra bonus special content gather round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tuck is the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight fingers half healthy shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might billy's a thief his tiny size does max the largest heart best and brightest they may not be but their friendship outweighs their smarts so gather around friends and listen you for the tales about to start hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz hello everybody playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers hello there and playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie hello when last we left our heroes they had begun exploration of an island in the misty foggy expanses of the gray the island initially seemed to just be just a regular old pile of rocks and grass but soon became very very important to the world of Spout Lore uh our friends went ashore with the crew of the sunrunner uh tuck wandering the beach finding a carving in a rock uh reminiscent of carvings long long ago and a distant chiming in the fog mm-hmm a Now that they are connected to the moon in some way, mostly just puts them in old Pringles cans and surprises.

Do you want a Pringle? Uh, Billy wandered and found a cops of trees revealed to be a Druid Grove containing just a variety of information recorded by some Druid long ago. Uh, and a stone beehive hut containing various detritus of living in life and also a circlet made of woven sticks bearing the name Ileana.

Billy brought the circlet back to Ving, whom communed with the spirits of the hut, uh, and was awarded a vision of a Druid naming ceremony of sorts, uh, where the circlet was bestowed upon a young Druid woman and then saw the generations of Druids who received that circlet. The crew then found a, uh, shipwreck beneath the waves on the shore of the island. And everybody dove down and had kind of a little, uh, super Mario 64 water level swim around. Billy.

Uh, the main thing I remember is everybody was kind of having trouble with it. And Billy was paddling around a little submarine having like a great time. Little tiny bubbles. Oh, little, little bubbles, little fart bubbles. Uh, and then while swimming back to the surface, Tuck was attacked by a harbor seal. Yep. And moments later, the Selkies arrived. Yeah. Uh, led by an enormous elephant seal who revealed himself to be king of the Selkies. Stone. I pretty cool.

Uh, Billy was chased into a tree by the smallest and rangiest of the Selkies. Yeah. Named Jimbo, who couldn't quite get far enough up to chase Billy and decided to, uh, extort Billy into offering tribute. Uh, uh, and then said that you could offer tribute to stone. I, on top of the tribute that you offered him, Billy ran down with Jimbo to try and stop the fight between Ving and stone. I, which was getting pretty brutal. You offered your name as Ileana as negotiations started to fall.

And he said, if you bear the name Ileana, you own more than tribute. You owe blood. And that is where we find our heroes. Now. I mean, how much blood are we talking a little bit? Drop a pint of court. I could fill a mason jar for you. Now that you've broken the accord, your punishment will not be determined by me, but by the council. Accord. What accord? Ileana's were never to step foot in these waters again. If I had my way, you would die where you stand. We must go to the council.

Where's the council? Hibernia. Oh, shit. Seize them. The Selkies all step forward in their human forms to grab you. All tech just pushes one of them to the ground. That's easy. Probably a smaller person. I push Jimbo to the ground. Billy does what like cats do when they don't want to get picked up. So he like lies down and crunches his arms and legs. Don't pick me up. Turns into a puddle of really hard to pick up. And the Selkie that's trying to pick you up is having a hard time.

Are you resisting? Are you going to try to talk to them? No, I'm not resisting. I just don't want to be handled. Get your hands off us. We will go freely. Yeah. I already wanted to go to Hibernia. Did you not hear how excited I was? Farewell. You. And he points at Ollie and he goes, uh, yeah. Hey, I'm not an Ileana. I don't think that I'm involved in this. You must bring them. Oh, uh, okay. All right. Uh, I got like a rate though. Is it like a daily?

And he just turns into an elephant seal and gets in the water. Oh, he starts pulling the boat. Maybe they all pull the boat. Uh, they all like the Selkie start, uh, getting into their animal forms and getting into the water. And it is disgusting. It's a lot more like, you know how Vings form changing was like instantaneous. Basically. Theirs is a lot more like werewolf. Like, like you can watch them morph into seals. We can hear like, bones, crick and screech.

It's like when gas is moving around a stomach and squishing and farting. So yeah. Yeah. And, uh, yeah, they're like, so a few of them stay on the shore and heard everybody back onto the boat and texts like, why is it so gross when they do it? Ving? Why is it so gross when they do it? I don't know. Hey, stone eyes. Why are you so gross when you change long gone? No, one's going to answer this question. But what's up with the changing? It's disgusting. Roll a spell or okay. Two D six.

Plus, uh, this has to do with history. So I get my wisdom. It does have to do with history. Nice. I got 11, fuck 11. Um, so really should he use that for what the fuck is going on with your family? Why is it so gross? Why do you make so many fart noises? What a fucking waste of a spell. Or, uh, no, it's, it's, it's kind of an interesting thing.

Uh, something that your mom taught you, um, when she was, when you were learning how to harness your, uh, spiritual energies is she talked about how some druids issue the more spiritual, uh, magic like aspects of druidic practice and are all about physicality combat, like being like becoming the beast. This clay is more about like we are animals, we are killers. Uh, so they are more connected to the physical form as opposed to the spiritual aspect. So they're, yeah.

So their bodies undergo a physical change. Whoa. They're like meld with the spirit of the animals that they shift into. Right. Yeah. And you know, and you would know that, um, when it comes to, uh, actual combat, they're all physical. Uh, like they don't have any, basically no magical ability. Okay. Yeah. Interesting. So that's something that you could use potentially. Is that why they don't have tails? Uh, they do have tails. Stone has stone eyes. Oh, okay. They do.

Jimbo has what Jimbo has, uh, Jack, to something that all of the Selkie share. Uh, I meant to point this out last time. I completely forgot, but they all have what looks like, um, seal skin cloaks. Oh, cool. Like they have like capes that look like they're made of seal skin. Cool. Uh, that is part of the skins that they like inhabit. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. So they all is everybody just like, okay, I guess we're going to hibernate.

Yeah, we shall go to, there's no, we're kind of going, um, yeah, maybe we'll get close to hibernate, but I don't know if we'll go there. Do we know, what do we know about hibernate so far? Almost nothing. I think we know that like the knowledge tree comes from there. Oh yeah. Um, you know that it's the origin of, of Druid Druidism and potentially of magic in general and of the fairies. Like the fairies migrated from hibernate right to the, the principality.

This was like the first place they crossed over into. Cool. Yeah. I think that's, I think that's the first place that everybody is just like gathered onto the boat. Maggie, Caroline, Perel, they're all like, Oh man, I don't know about this. Actually, Maggie's like, Hey, should we, uh, maybe make a break for it? Are you kidding? I get to see hibernate. You want to go to this place? Heck yeah, I do. It's like nice and cold. And I learned all this stuff in the library with Perel about it.

It sounds like they're going to kill V. No. When has V ever died? I don't know. I think like twice. Oh, we always get him back. I can hear you. How many more deaths do you think you have in you big guy? I don't know. Seven. Uh, and Perel's like, yeah, I am. Uh, I gotta say, I'm thinking we should run too. I just want that on the record. I know we're not going to because you're all, um, out of your minds, but Hey, we think with our words, not with our thoughts. Okay, let's get there.

Talk to these guys. I'm not going to. I'm not going to. I'm not going to. I'm not going to. Talk to these guys. Wait, hold on. Do what we do and talk ourselves into weird situations where we will probably find out a lot of things about what we're trying to know. Okay. Yeah. I just want to say that that didn't make any. And then as he's talking, one of the Selkies pushes them onto the boat and then jumps into the water, turning into a seal halfway and tuck, like climbs into the boat too.

He's like, Perel, like, it could be like a key to getting your magic back. Well, I did at one point want to go to hi Bernie. Yeah. Until we figured out that Adder, neck, all waters tower was in the north. And then I wanted to go there. Yeah. But isn't hi Bernie, like closer to the north than where we are right now. Yeah. Yeah. But also hi Bernie was kind of like a plan B. I feel like it's time for plan B. We haven't even tried to do plan a though. We are trying. We're like going with the flow.

Yeah. And this is like, it starts jolting ahead because there's like a pack of Selkies kind of pushing it forward. Sometimes you just got like, just got go with things. Last time I tried to just go with the flow. I ended up locked in a box for a hundred years. And now look at us. Look at us. Bloodthirsty. Selkies pushing your sailboat into an impenetrable wall of fog. A wide shot of like, just making barking sounds. Yeah. Just making barking noise. It's like a road trip or a cruise.

They put a sign on being this as blood debt. Just like a sign on the back, like a just married side, but it says like blood debt and there's cans dragging behind the boat. Slowly going into this wall of fog. I use my bill. No oculars to see your head. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The gray is very hard to see through, but you might be able to learn something. A two D six plus wisdom for discern realities. 10. Oh shit. Okay. So you get three questions off to certain realities.

And we'll say that this is kind of you keeping an eye out during the whole like journey. Yeah. Who's really in control here. So there, you know, you're, you're heading on through the gray for a couple hours. Pretty hard to see on all sides, but you're like, you can feel your bill. No, not killers trying to focus through the fog and making that low. Like your hands are growing and shrinking in size. But at one point you hear like a, like a spray of water from somewhere in the fog.

So the whale, you see a shape. Yeah. Like a back break, the waves and dive under. You hear the captain's voice come on. He's like, there's a pot of orca whales off the starboard. I actually, I black and white. I think it is a, it is an orca for sure. Like you see like the fin cut over the water and dive under and you see, it looks like stone. I go under the water as well. Oh my God. That's his girlfriend. Oh my God. Are they fucking for sure.

And then eventually stone, I breaks the water again and the boat continues and the whale swims off. They're not having intimate adult time. That's what I tell Bing and I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Oh, and I tell Bing and and talk talks. Like fuck. This sucks. What Billy uses. Besides thinking, are these animals having intimate adult time under the waves.

You think, Oh, there must be other druids in the water. Hmm. Okay. So like stone. I is in control, but there are people that he's checking in with as they're as they're sailing. Oh, Oh, what, what here is useful or valuable to me. You notice that kind of peeking through the fog.

Once in a while, islands and they're getting the further you get them longer you go this is another couple hours of travel the islands are getting closer and denser so you think that if you did have to try and get away on the sunrunner you might be able to use these islands as a way to like potentially lose people okay although it's probably really hard to lose the selkies in the water you might have a better chance what here is not what it appears to be what would this be yeah what do you think uh it's it's maybe like that not all the different kinds of like harbor seal and whale are getting along in the water oh like they're not a monolith yeah there's a lot of um you can hear like you know animal fighting sounds and if you look over the edge every once in a while there are seals that are like scrapping with each other and so they're all like oh oh oh some of it's like play fighting but you can look you can see in the eyes of some of them that they're trying to do harm I can also tell that there's like like from the sounds too it sounds like there's discussions happening under the water so I bet there's disagreements oh on like what's happening right now like oh yeah maybe stuff like we should have killed them like we should have killed them when we found them we shouldn't be bringing them back we're getting a blame for whatever happens yeah I like it I like that a lot yeah cool and tuck is trying to get a pirate to bet with him who's which one of the seals are going to win and he's going to have to is going to win a fight.

He's watching two go at it. He's like, which one of these do you think is going to win? I don't know. That other one's got a lot of bites taken out of him. I feel like that one's lost a lot. I'm going to put 10 gold coin on Jimbo. On Jimbo? I'll take that action. Okay. And Ollie goes, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Ving just hands tuck one of his $10 bags of coins. There you go. Guys, please. I'll also take that action. Please. Let me put down on the bag.

And then there's like an impromptu betting circle of seal fights. And okay. So some more time passes. It's probably been. Do I win? I thought this was a story thing. Okay. I thought it would resolve later, but yeah, I can resolve right now. All right. Just a flat 2D6. Okay. Okay. Here we go. 12. 12. Whoa. Rich. We are wasting rolls. Yeah. You have big, fat rolls. I'm not. So.

So Jimbo, now that you're seeing it was Billy remembers him being kind of goofy and uncoordinated, but it seems like he's a fucking scrap in the water. Yeah. He moves like lightning in the water and he takes down this big like walrus that he was fighting. Basically, he gets it to back off and he had to go back into his like human form and ride the boat with God. Dear fucking Jimbo. He's got like a big bite in his bicep. He's like fucking hell. Everybody have a towel.

Just a huge dude with a big mustache. It sounds like Zoe. Very good. He's got his tell. Unfortunately for him is tusks. It's a walrus's head. Yeah. Yeah. So you win 30 coins. Oh, fuck. Yes. Wow. Nice. And the journey you believe starts to come to an end as the boat starts to slow down a little bit. Uh, describe for me the island of Hibernia. We'll start with Abdul. Oh, it looks like you. Have you ever seen like one of those islands that all the elephant seals go to to mate? It's like that.

That's what we said. We were talking about that. The whole way. Wait, like just a rock. It's yeah. It like we come through the fog and there's end to end elephant seals. They're not just seals. I don't know. So there's horses. There's horses in this fuck pile. There's hippos. There's so Hibernia is a place that people live. Keep that in mind. Okay. So it's the central island. It has to be one of the islands coming up to the big island. That's what we see.

We see the fuck island on our way to the big island. And that's my contribution to this thing. Excellent. So we pass a rock that's covered in elephant seals and sea lions and they're just like some of them are having sex. Some of them are not. And there are some people on the island too. Because they're all shit shifters. This is having a ball. Yeah. Paul, there's a huge long title zone and there's people out there harvesting seaweeds. Oh, sweet. That's so cool.

And then, yeah, there's certain people who are like in half animal form, like going out and getting the ones that are out in the water more totally. And as the boat is like passing this title zone, people are looking up from their work and watching the boat and the Selkies go by. Jessica, there's a lot of like rounded structures, sort of like, like domes. And you can tell that those are dwellings. And at the top is like a little, little bits of smoke coming out. Oh, cool.

So maybe people live there, maybe they're smoke houses. Yeah. But they're all made of like stone. Yeah. Awesome. Cool. That's really cool. Um, kind of like the beehive hut. Kinda. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Beautiful. Cool. Uh, perfect. Yeah. So they come to, uh, what can I add a different thing? Yeah. Then fuck rock. Are we getting rid of fuck rock? No, no, no. Jessica was so concerned. Hold on. I had a whole theory that was based on fuck rock or I'm leaving fuck rock or I walk. Fuck walk.

Um, as we're going in, we, the approach is going down, like sort of narrower and narrower. Like passages, like estuary arms, kind of. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. And like, we can see these like villages that Jessica described all on the sides, but like, there are like really tall rock cliffs and like, we don't notice it at first cause it's really big, but there's enormous runes, like ancient runic language in like carved into the rock from like ancient days. Interesting.

Like, which I don't know what that does, but maybe nothing. Some of it's probably too fancy. Faded to read anymore. Like you can see the evidence of this writing, but not necessarily what it says. And Tuck's like, is that ruins? Yeah. Holy shit. What does it say? Do you know what it says? I can't read it from here. Hang in there. Little drawing underneath of a cat or something. If you were looking for fuck rock, you've gone too far. It's just a big arrow that says fuck rock and points back.

There are also a lot of really tall evergreen trees. And what, and like these other leafy trees that must be knowledge trees cause they're enormous up on like the, you know, on the land. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Sick. Cool. And there's like, yeah, there's a lot of, is there snow? There's a lot of snow around. It's very snowy. Yeah. And there's around the trees of knowledge. It's like melted around the base. There's no snow that touches the base.

Can I, can you guys help me remember, uh, trees of knowledge? Are they, I thought they were very rare, but are they like, are they like, fairly, are they smaller and common or are they big? And like, there's one or two. They're rare, but on Hibernia, there's more of them. Okay. And like also in the great forest, like in the north, you'll find a few more of them, but they're still very rare. Like they don't have like hundreds of these trees, but you can just, the ones that they do have.

They're native to this island. Yeah, they're native to this island. Right. And the, and they don't ever cut them down. So a lot of them are very thick and old and tall. So it's like the rest of the forest canopy. And then there's like one huge, huge tree. You see a few big ones. There's a few small ones too. And I like that there is buildings built into the structures of the dead ones. Yeah. Oh, totally.

There's like big, like some of them, you can see like the big roots, like coming down over the cliff. Like it's just these huge nets of roots basically. And there's like little shrines set up along them. Oh yeah. And there's little runes and everything and candles. Looks like some people have built like little hanging dwellings, like in the roots, like on the cliff. But it's like, you know, one or two people, not like a whole house. Yeah.

So would we say like, there's like a dozen that we can see now? Oh, that's a lot. Yeah. Hibernia has got a lot. That makes sense. Cause I think we said they were indigenous to here. Yeah. Can I, can I say something else? Yeah. Guys, add whatever you want. If you've got ideas, the, like the roots that come off on the cliffs of the knowledge tree, the little structures in them are actually like meditation rooms. Oh yeah. Cool. Cool. Cool. There's a high yoga studio in one of them too. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yoga studio in one of them too. Bikram's hot yoga. Oh, when we talked about, so that's probably where a lot of, not a lot of course, but like SAP gathers in the roots. So people go in the roots to like, maybe they like burn a little bit of the SAP. Like they try and like, like use it as incense, like inhale the smoke from the SAP. Yeah. Yeah. Could be that like, um, they use it to help mediate the change.

Like they just take a, they, they take a thing of SAP and they put it under their tongue. That's always sucking on it. Um, Oh, physics pitches, right? Or it was, it's just like a combination of different SAPs. Yeah. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Sick. Okay. So the boat comes to a stop basically at the end of a huge, like fjord, like the fjord. No, this is, this is regular for, this is a refractory fjord where everybody comes to rest. That's what the old walrus guy tells us.

It's called cigarette fjord. This is the one you come to after you come smoking a fat cigar. Yeah. So it's like the end of this cliff Canyon, uh, ends at like a small, small rocky beach at the very end. There's water trickling down from upper land coming into the oceans. A little estuary. And all the selkies, come ashore. They, they beach the boat, which all these knots, like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's so icy and sharp.

You can't do it on gravel. So many barnacles. I'm going to have to look at this. Yeah, and all the Selkies come ashore, start turning back into their human forms. Obviously, expectantly looking at everyone on the boat. And Billy comes walking down the plank like a tourist. Snap. Snap. He's got his backpack on, his fanny pack on really tight. And his hood, like everything's neat and tidy. He's just like, golly me, am I excited to see the sights here? Where'd you get that I heart Hibernia shirt?

I made it. Oh, it's so cool. Thank you. The heart is in the shape of fuck rock. I went to fuck rock and all I got was this t-shirt. But Billy can't read it. He has no idea what the shirt says. Actually, Billy, here's something to think about. I think that you've been feeling this as you've been getting closer to this island. But Billy's coming… He's coming very close to the original transit point of the fairies. Yeah. How is this affecting him?

Is there like still energy that pours through from that place? Yeah. He feels very euphoric actually. Oh, cool. Yeah. I think that's actually why he's like being so… He just doesn't care about like the threat of Stonai. He's just so elated to be home. Cool. And he feels a sense of belonging that he hasn't felt ever. You know, like he feels… He knows he belongs with Tuck and Vang and he knows they're his family, but it's a different thing to know that this is like his homeland. Yeah.

It's like laying down in your bed after you've been away for a long time and you're just like, oh, fuck yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Is he undergoing any of those like fairy changes that he has in the past, like the flowers? No. Interesting. Yeah. I don't know. He doesn't need to. Yeah. That's really… That's fascinating. Yeah. And you all get herded off the boat. It looks like the crew… Including Oleander is being, at least right now, like confined to the boat. They're not being allowed to leave.

Oh. Yeah. Are you guys going to be okay? Oh, yeah. We got like food and stuff. Are you guys going to be okay? Tuck's like, yeah, I'm fine. I'm going to try and fight Stone Eyes later, but I think I'm okay. What? Maggie's like, what'd you say? I said, I'm going to try and fight. And he leans in. He's like, I have a plan. Vang, if you… Because these guys are like animals, basically, right? Mm-hmm. So like, if he tries to keep…

If he tries to kill you, I'm going to challenge him to a fight for his honor or whatever. And then if I win, I get you. Yeah. And then if he wins, he gets to kill me. Yeah. Okay. So then he'll kill me and kill you. Yes. Okay. And then Billy is back in Hibernia, which is where he belongs. So it's best case scenario for us dying. Oh, I mean, I like it here, but I am not up for any of that. So if you lose against Stone Eyes and he kills you and Vang, I guess I have to fight Stone Eye now because…

Because I have to avenge your death. Exactly. You come find us in the spirit world. I will. I don't go to the spirit world if I die, but yeah, find Vang in the spirit world. And also Vang, you don't go to the spirit world when you die either. That was a huge mistake. I'm pretty sure I'd go back. We'll figure it out, Tuck. Don't worry. Also, I'm pretty sure I can beat Stone Eye. Yeah, you can beat him. And then we look over and he's dragging Oleander's enormous ship up onto the shore. By himself.

Yeah. Huge. I really like, I feel like I'm not able to accurately describe how large this guy is. Like his arms are fucking huge. His chest, his gut. Like he's just a massive, massive guy. Is he like the, that really, like the biggest bodybuilder ever? Oh, like Haptor Bjornsson or whatever? Yeah. Yeah, he's like that. But bigger. But fatter for sure. Fantasy version. Yeah, like he looks like a guy who eats, drinks, whatever he wants, as much as he wants and then is also massively strong.

And Tuck looks at him and he's like, my white whale. He is very pale too. That fat elephant seal is my white whale. And you start getting led up the three of you. Why would, maybe they would just want to take Ving actually. Why would they want to take the two of you? Because I refuse to let Ving go. Okay. Yeah, I don't go anywhere without these guys. Yes. If you kill one of us, you have to kill us all. Damn, I'm shit.

And Stoneye crosses his arms and nods and goes, if they join you, they share your fate. We are of the same blood. He nods almost like, all right, interesting. Very well. And turns and starts walking up the hill. I like your tattoos. He walks away. I just, I was going to look back at Maggie and Perel like, two thumbs up. Yeah. We'll be okay. We're all dead. Even Corrine is like, two thumbs up like, okay. She looks really nervous. She's having a terrible time right now.

And yeah, you get led up the hill into the sort of evergreen forest at the top. It's so cold here. Tuck, you're fine. Billy is probably getting a little, little rosy. Rosy, but like, so happy. So happy. Yeah. He's like, rolling around in the snow. Don't eat the other snow, Billy. I won't. Every time you start rolling around, like a Selkie, like nudges you with their boot. It's like, go. I'm going. Chill. We're going. Let them enjoy the snow. And they push you. Don't push me. Don't push him.

I push the Selkie. They push you. Oh, push him. I push him. Yeah. They push you too. I get up, I push him. And one, it just, they turn into a sea lion and they just start going. And I turn into a fairy. I, I go. So Billy just turned into a flower boy. Does Billy turn like he sprouts with flowers? Yeah. Back at them. And actually a bunch of the Selkies go. Yeah. And step back. Back off. And Stoneye turns around and sees Billy. And just turns and keeps walking up the hill. Yeah.

I fucking thought so. Don't touch our boys. Language. Language. Sorry. And you come on to the top of the hill into this like snow, we evergreen forest and the trail leads you through the trees. As we're walking, tuck wants to sneak out the waning knife to see how much it's glowing. Hmm. You do in the little, like tiny pulling it. Yeah. Yeah. Lord of the ring style. Yeah. Like a fro, fro, hole. What did with the sting, Frodo bagman. Yeah.

Um, it's glowing a little bit, not as much as it was, uh, at port for frost. Okay. He pulls out the Magi knife and, and looks, pulls it out of the sheaf a little bit and looks at it. It's really upsetting to look at. Oh my gosh. Probably just a yellow chipped fang. Oh, we gotta do something cool with this someday that I feel like we never really talked about, but that fang real big. Um, is it a Selkie? I would say like forearm length, like a forearm length. Yeah. And like, and like curve. Yeah.

Yeah. Like a canine too. It's like a short sword almost. Yeah. Pretty much like a wicked sharp fucked up thing. Yeah. Like a cave bear tooth. So yeah, you guys peek at the knife. You guys peek at the knife. You peek at the, the tooth really stressful. Uh, and eventually you come out into a clearing where there are a number of, um, stone huts with smoke coming out of the roofs. There's people walking around.

Let's talk about what the people of Hibernia kind of look like in like terms of dress and the kinds of people that live here. Cause I know that we've said the world outside, people were able to travel very freely during the golden age because of like airships, teleportation, that kind of, that kind of stuff. But has Hibernia stayed like pretty isolated. Do we think I imagined that it was always isolated.

Like yeah, everything beyond the fog wall, even in the golden age was like, nobody goes there. Yeah. So what's Hibernian like dress like, cause it's really cold here. I mean, it would make sense to be furs. Yeah. Something that could survive the cold skins and whatnot. Yeah. Hides. Or if it was something cool fantasy and they were, they're all naked or like, what? So the cool fantasy, like they're all naked maybe.

Cause they're druids and they can like just change into, so they're actually dressed pretty light. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Not naked, but they were like, it's way lighter. Like what? Yeah, totally. A lot of, a lot of bare skin more than you would expect. So it would make sense that these people are acclimatized to this kind of weather because it's always cold. So they don't wear as much as we would think they needed to. Yeah.

And it also makes sense that they kind of use their sort of connection to the spirit world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Animal bits that people pack a scarf an alpaca scarf yeah like a dicky oh just like a yeah like covering their chest and neck yeah um like like deer spots oh cool oh yeah probably like antlers like somebody straight up has antlers yeah one guy's got hooves it's just like like waddling around like fuck it's so slippery for him and I think the kids don't have any tails interesting until they settle yeah cool maybe kids this is kind of like harry potter x-men rules maybe they're more apt to taking um multiple forms early on oh yeah like settle into one form cool materials yeah yeah yeah their little demon things shift around yeah I imagine there are a lot of kids running around too yeah oh yeah yeah this is like it's a very a village it's like full of life it's cold and it's dour but the village is very lively there are people like playing music uh people cooking food the clearing is very long I think and more narrow than you might expect but it all goes towards um what looks like a big central circle with like a big big big stone fire pit and there's like um a big crackling fire in the middle of town like that they have features that are uh ice carved I really like that they carve things out of ice like pillars out of ice and like things like these little ornaments around like they have very simple and stone and rough and old old structures but then they seasonally do that could be a part of a fest or something totally seasonal things that they do carvings and ornate things out of ice I bet they carve like icicles into shapes and they hang them from the trees oh yeah that's really cool yeah so that like you know when the light refracts it's just really pretty yeah yeah there's like tinkling in the trees there's like icicles kind of clanging together wind blowing and I think there's maybe more sun on hibernia than there is in the rest of the world I don't know the gray it's like brighter than the thing that we mentioned about the trees of knowledge how they don't have snow directly around them so there is like this this collected energy of all the trees in place of the trees of knowledge that create this different climate this like warming effect yeah so there is like shockingly you see they're like gardens with like things like growing in the middle like farming stuff because for some reason here it's it's like seasonably warm so the cold could be like a defense yeah cool very interesting yeah I mean they can't grow things like lemons but there's cabbages and stuff like that there's some food growing here but it's not like oh mango party I think there's one guy with a little lemon tree and he's very proud of it trying so hard to keep it alive all these mirrors around it yeah he's been suntanning his lemons and I think as you get towards like the fire there's a lot of like like whispering person to person people start running off down the down the clearing and you get to the fire and you hear a voice call out like stone eye and uh an older man probably like you know five eight five nine gray hair long gray hair skinny kind of muscular but like a old guy what's his tail his tail is what does he turn into maybe he turns into like an octopus oh interesting he's got like ring marks on his head like he's got like a ring mark on his head like he's got like a ring mark on his arms and legs suction cup things that's cool I like that yeah so he's got like uh like sucker marks all up and down his arms oh maybe there's like a clade of like cephalopods basically their whole thing is like traveling the oceans I love that but they're more spread out because their whole thing is like they travel they explore the oceans oh yeah they meet every once in a while and trade information knowledge teach each other cool and yeah he stops stone eye in front of the fire and is just like demanding what is the meaning of this who are these people and they have a whole back and forth about like uh trespassers this one bears the name iliana we must convene the council and uh he looks back at you three we're just giving them thumbs ups and then he looks at ving as if to say oh it's obviously that one he slowly puts the tiara back on it is I named the fire of my family lineage iliana was my mother's name iliana is my middle name please call me ving ving is my name danger is my middle name danger is my maiden name he's done it this many times this whole circle the whole like the whole circle in this village is silent listening to you do this are you are you finished are you have you even begun he looks at stone eye and says um this is troubling I will gather the council at once we'll meet at twilight and uh rushes off stone eye turns to uh the selkies and says make sure they don't go anywhere and stalks off and you all start getting a push towards one of the stone huts what do we say about pushing we're going they push you we're going stop it oh god this is I push him back they try they try and push you back and then you come back and then you come back and then you come you but you're so low down yeah like come here you can't get me can't get me fast just get in the fucking hut whoa and one of them puts a hand on that guy's shoulder and goes tevin just calm down man it's a little kid it's a little boy you're letting them get to you but you're getting in your head tevin I'm just a little boy and I flip him off he just goes and he turns around and walks away but you get here you're like slow farting sound as he turns into a seal to hide his tears and you all get kind of led into this uh this stone hut pretty bare there's like benches and chairs there's uh coverings on the windows and doors like skins basically hanging in the windows and you get pushed in and you're like oh my god I'm so tired I'm so tired I'm so tired two selkies take a post on the other side of the door outside and you are left to your devices I'd like to discern realities in this hut oh smart seven perfect all right you got one question what's uh useful in here yeah so you hear um them talking like oh I can't wait to figure out what's going on here because yes iliana's disgusting about time these blasphemers were punished for their transgressions and they start talking about the council they mention this council you know what I mean like I don't know what I'm talking about but I don't know what I'm talking about but I'm talking about the council you know what I'm talking about but I'm talking about comprised of the leaders of different clades clades being groups of druids that take similar forms and have similar philosophical understandings like the selkies cool so there are other clades that are a part of this council so there would be a representative of the cephalopod yeah so he he represents like um maybe they're called like the deep striders or something like that like that's that that's what that clade is called um there's one that's like like the green seers and they're like um all elks and deer oh cool woods you know like that kind of nice yeah so that's what you hear is them talking about the different clades and the different leaders and theorizing about what their decision is going to be what was that old guy uh he was a he was the leader of the deep uh yeah hey what's that old guy's name out there shut up you shut up you shut up shut you should you're stop talking you're a prisoner you're our prisoner we're keeping watch over you yeah we're keeping watch over you and tuck's like we're here because we want to be oh yeah and tuck leans back and he's like yeah it's pretty comfortable in here must suck to have to stand out there like a couple of dildos oh it's not so bad because if we want to leave we can leave but you're stuck in here I'm pretty sure stone eyes told you to watch over us so you're stuck in here just like we are but without this chaise lounge no maybe I maybe I go say hey I want to go uh go take a dump you come watch over here and I can leave no problem maybe we can take a shit in here if we want to and then tuck starts to shit hey hey hey you'll probably have to be the ones who clean it up do you have to clean this up hey I'm sorry what the they're taking a shit in here hey what's your name and things peeing on the wall spelling the guy's name doesn't matter because soon but by the time the moon rises you're gonna be dead and you too he points at tuck and tucks like I'm pretty bunged up because I've been I've had mostly salt fish and they all they both just turn around and they look they they close the flap and they don't look anymore and then tucks like tuck tugs on one of their like sleeves and he's like do either of you don't touch me I don't even have a sleeve you're tugging on my elbow skin it's pretty loose back here fuck off I lost a lot of weight recently probably wipe your ass with that okay just don't talk to them anymore but they're being disrespectful to the room it doesn't matter soon soon they'll all be dead but by what by the by way of listening to them talk about the different clades you do learn that at least the leader of the deep striders name is grim shay grim shay cool can I try something yeah um billy's not loving the smell of tuck shit understandably I tried to dig a little hole and then I realized it was mostly permafrost and I couldn't get in there oh no oh no once it freezes the smell should dissipate yeah tuck's trying to get it to freeze faster by blowing on it oh it's just moving the smell around you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you um um um um um um totally okay so roll plus wisdom seven so on a seven to nine I believe you get one hold uh yeah I get one hold so I just plop down where I am I guess uh saunter out just walk past everybody yeah and the two selkies at the door go and they like look down but they don't see anything so they feel them yeah they feel something whoa I fart I try to I don't know if it's gonna reach spirit part spirit part the other guy's like are you gonna change right now are you seriously changing right now you're seriously changing right in front of me uh yeah so you head out in your fairy form and you're seeing like the um the shadowy fairy reflection of the village it's so clear here actually oh so it's like okay so this is something I've been so curious about what does the fairy realm actually look like is it like a bright vibrant place but when you're far away from these points you're you're only seeing the shadows through it or what's the deal there yeah um it can also like so you can be physically like if you're physically far away from kind of like your homeland or whatever but also like mentally like if you feel like for some reason like you can't you feel distant I don't know yeah from that part of yourself then then it's a shadow world cool because something I was thinking about is when billy first saw and this was the thing that I said so I don't know if it tracks with what you're thinking about but um we talked about the endless bows yeah like is the fairy realm a separate place like there are locations in the fairy realm or is it all like reflections of the material um it's all reflections of the material world but unlike the physical world none of the landscapes stop you from like traveling I so if there's water it doesn't like affect you like that um everything is like a separate place and so it's like a separate place and so it's like a separate place and so it's like a separate place and so it's like a separate place and so it's like a separate walkable it's like the spiritual projections but in the fairy world yeah gotcha so cool yeah sort of like the spirit world in some ways like where you can float around okay cool does that mean you can traverse long distances in the fairy realm like you could like use it to like go to a different continent basically as crow flies basically you could go wherever you want sweet the shadow roads yeah and I would describe the fairy world sort of like a an impressionist painting in a way like it's uh like the latent colors move a lot cool so when you say clear it's so clear here it's like you're seeing those colors and shapes moving sweet are there more fairies here too okay there's fairies here oh that's so cool I pictured like you know the projections shadows on the cave wall play style but now you're at the fire the source of light that is causing the projections you're seeing the thing that lights the shadows on the world so what kind of what kind of fairies do you see um there's a winter fairy whoa there's a few of them actually quite a few here not like like um like the winter like they're in their winter season oh yeah yeah so they're like our elders a lot of them are sort of in like a meditation state you're seeing the light of the world yeah so you're seeing the light of the world can I ask you to describe a winter fairy like I don't actually know what they look like I guess they're all different but they're all different what's sort of the unifying idea of them uh I guess sort of like if billy's a spring fairy you know young so he's like the buds and the blossoms they might be sort of like wood or like shedding like dead branches and ice and stuff like that bark yeah cool um moss maybe there's moss yeah there's old old licheny kind of cool yeah and they're fairies and they're all different but they're all different and they're features are are more angular I guess almost like carved and it's more just like the feeling of them they're slower and they feel more like stoic in a way cool kind of have the same vibe as old dwarves yeah so there yeah there are a few of those like scattered around the village like eyes closed yeah they are humanoid interesting how about how big big um probably anywhere from like like four and a half to six and a half feet tall oh what tiny for some reason I guess like spring fairies are small but like as fairies grow they get larger well like like things that grow I guess yeah also billy's small because he's tied to this boy's body yeah yeah it's not always an age thing necessarily and I think that's why billy's like I don't know I'm like nine or ten or eight yeah it doesn't matter to him it's all like um sort of like in what condition is your heart and your soul are you tired of um living or have have you been hurt too much then you're probably a winter fairy where you're like I'm done here and I'm happy to pass on interesting but there's also a sign of upcoming yeah uh rebirth though yeah too right yeah like the end of a cycle but the beginning of another cycle yeah like it's like it can seem sad but it's also like they're they're doing something that's not right and they're doing things like they're healing or they're replenishing and like learning lessons yeah it also makes sense for why billy forgets a lot of things yeah and also why he is eternally in his spring because like the boy that he right part of is like lively and like excited about being alive yeah I think billy subconsciously actually forgets on purpose because if he remembered it all he would grow up oh yeah in a way I like that a lot um there's fairies and I'm sorry I want you to describe all of these this am I taking too no this is the first time we've ever talked about the different seasons of fairy and I'm so curious we all want to know what this is yeah totally um so summer fairies yeah there's summer fairies and there's ones in their autumn season um the summer fairies are like really similar actually to the spring ones they're just in fuller bloom like the penusions of fairies yeah exactly very passionate very passionate a bit more knowledgeable are they like hot ladies there's all kinds well I think like if spring fairies are kind of like the childlike fairies I think these are like you know like people in their 20s basically yeah basically like that's the feeling you get like they know a lot so they don't spend as much time uh interacting with I guess the world as like say like a spring fairy does spring fairies though they're like really energetic they are slower and they take time like pondering stuff and playing with them and they're like oh my god summer fairies I guess you know they might be fighting or interacting with each other or the physical world they're usually actually like more often than not in the physical world because they want to explore that as well yeah on their walkabout yeah yeah and they often will like flit from host to host oh yeah they're passionate I like the idea that like a lot of the stories of people interacting with fairies like the dangerous capricious like seductive ones whatever have been people interacting with summer fairies.

Yeah, I think so. Spring fairies are usually like the prankster ones and the childlike ones. And autumn fairies are usually like guys who have worked an office job for 10 years and they're just so depressed. Autumn fairies are the ones that actually a lot of the people will make like little shrines to or they'll visit for advice. They're like the nerd fairies, librarian fairies.

Yeah, like, you know, in like Ireland, they'll go visit like a mound or something believing a fairy lives there and they'll leave offerings for it. Those kinds of fairies are the autumn fairies. Cool. Those are the mushroom fairies too, the autumn fairies. Oh, yeah. They do the rings. The rings, yeah. And is it because like, it's like when a summer fairy is like, I like this place, I'm going to chill out here for a while. Yeah, I'm going to chill out here for a while.

And then they actually get to like, start like interacting with other beings like on a deeper level. Cool. But they haven't yet become like cold and distant like the winter fair. Well, because if you think about it, like autumn fair interacting with people and like making deals and trying to help them and like are maybe shepherds of the land. Yeah. And like the more they interact with people, the more they take on like, they're betrayed. Like they, people break their promises. Yeah.

A lot of those things where it's like, maybe a human leaves an offering or like promises something and then breaks it. Like the fairy feels like betrayed by that. Yeah. A lot of the winter fairies, they might've fought like a lot of wars. So they've just like seen a lot and they're disappointed, I guess, in like the corruptness of the physical world compared to like the spirit or the fairy world. And that's when they ponder like, was any of this worth it?

Like maybe I was better off in the spirit world where everything had law and everyone was peaceful in a way, like behaved in this manner. And then once they kind of find that peace again, they're like, nope, this is kind of just the way. Then they, you know, might transition back into their spring phase. Really cool. That's really cool. So fucking cool.

That's also kind of cool because it implies that Billy was in his autumn phase when he went into the boy because he had rooted himself in Lone Tree Hill. Like it was his place. And people came to him too. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense that he was in his winter phase and during the winter war. Yeah, probably. Yeah, like he's been through the cycle a few times probably. Oh, fuck. Wow. And there being a bunch of winter fairies here implies a lot of like conflict over time.

Oh, I wonder if any of them recognize Billy. They probably will actually. A lot of fairies do recognize each other. That's sick. Yeah. Okay. So that is an excellent and exciting description of all the different fairy seasons. Thank you. So sick. Yeah, so cool. Thanks. So Billy is walking around the village. She sees fairies in all their different seasons. The winter one's not really paying you much heed. As they are deep in their introspection.

Maybe like you see a summer one that seems very interested in one of the druids. Like, ooh, like kind of flitting around like, oh, so beautiful. And an autumn one, maybe like a, that looks just like a pile of, a pile of dead leaves. Yeah. Just like. Billy is going to go jump into the pile of leaves. And you, you flutter. You flop into this pile of leaves that you might not have even realized was a fairy until just now. Oh, I knew it was a fairy. So you just go like, ah, whoa, oh, who are you?

I'm Billy. Remember me? Oh, and some of the leaves like up into like a eyebrows. Yeah. And they go, oh. Yeah. It's been a long time. You're going by Billy now. I am. I've been Billy for quite a long time. At least in human years. Yeah. I was going to say. At least nine or eight or 10 years. It's not as wonderful to see you, Billy. It's nice to see you too. Russell. Russell. Russell is a fucking great name for this thing. I knew I'd see you again.

I thought you were in a bush last time, but I wasn't quite sure. Those were my summer days. Yeah. Have you been here for a long time? Oh, yes. Yes-ish? Yeah. Okay. Long enough to hear about the Ileanas? Yes. Camel. Because I want to use this hold to get some info from Russell. Oh, then you can just use the hold. Like, this is all you'll get basically, and then you'll go back. Okay. Um, can you tell me why the Druids seem to have a problem with the Ileanas?

Because I've got my friends Tuck and Ving here, and Ving is descended from that family. And they, and the Druids, I don't know, they're talking about counsel, and they're meeting tonight to figure out what to do with us. Mm-hmm. Ileanas? That's not a name people say very lightly around here. I, I can tell. They are responsible for a lot of bloodshed. Bloodshed? Mm-hmm. From when? Oh, and you realize, you remember as you're saying this that fairies are not great at telling times?

Well, not when, but from what, I suppose? A war? A war? A war? Which war? There's been so many, Russell. There are so many wars, and there will be many, many more. I know. Is it one I fought in? Did we, is it the one we fought in together? No. Hmm. But similar participants, I suppose. The, um, and like a pile of leaves comes up and is trying to like gesture like a height. Uh-huh. Like, um. And he starts miming like, oh, I'm not going to fight you. I'm not going to fight you.

He's miming like, like a, an arrow being drawn, like twing. Oh. And were the Ileanas, did they bear those weapons too? Mm-mm. No? Mm-mm. Ileanas, they're from here, from the land. But they brought, for some reason, the ones with the flying shards to this place. Oh. And that's why they're angry. Mm. Many lives were lost. Is he talking about the elves? He's talking about rangers, yep. Oh, shit. So the Ileanas brought the rangers here, and that was the war. Mm-hmm.

It wasn't a war, it was a fight, right? Yeah. It was, it was not our war. None were like our war. No. But the conflict, blood, death, hate. That was in the physical world. Here, yes. Yeah, okay. I hope that you will not come to harm. But if you do, there is… He gestures around. I know, but I'm not ready to come home yet. Mm. It'd be too soon. Perhaps someday. Someday. And then cut to Tuck shitting, trying to shit.

I'm desperately, he's got the waning knife out, and he's desperately trying to dig a hole, and he's like, I don't know how it's smelling worse over time. Here, I'll… It is not freezing. And Bing is trying to pee onto the… No, no, no, no, no, no, no! To try and spot out. No! Splattering shit. Yeah, he's pissing on the shit. Disgusting. Billy can look back and see us in the hut, because he can't see the hut. Well… I'm not ready to go home. I… Sometimes I miss home, I guess.

Certainly smells better here. And he, uh… His leafy, dead leaf arm comes up and kind of like… Like holds your cheek for a moment. And he's like, so nice. Yeah. To see you, Billy. It's so nice to see you, Russell. I know I'll see you again. Billy. Russell. It's a nice name. Fitting. Thank you. I think so, too. He was a good boy. Seems one. I don't really want to go. It's really calm here. It's really smelly in that hut. My friends are being really stupid, I think. It is.

It is a privilege, Billy. To smell. It is. Here, beautiful. Sensation. Not many. There's not many. I remember my summer days. The tastes. The sounds. Mm-hmm. And you'll have them again, but… I know what's coming isn't… Mm. It's never what we enjoy. But it is what we have. It's what we have and it's what we have to do to get back to… Here. Mm. Where I am. Mm. I have to go back. Mm. Mm. Is there anything else you can tell me before I… Before I go?

Just that you have chosen interesting friends. Yeah. I don't want to forget them. So I have to go. Goodbye, Billy. And… And then… As if on like a zip cord. Yeah. Like you… Whoop. Back into the body. There's a huge fire. Whoa! Watch. Where's that? Put it up. Put it up. There's an actual fire? Yeah. We started a fire to get rid of the fucking shit. No, no, no. The bottom, not the top. What? Somebody runs in with like a bucket of water. It's one of the guards. Yeah.

One of the Selkies runs in with a bucket of water and splashes it on the fire. I knew you were going to have to clean up our shit. You know what? You know what? I don't even care what you did anymore. I hope they can… I hope they kill you. I hope they do. And I'm going to laugh when they do it. Can I hear your laugh, please? So I know it'll be you. He turns around and storms out. And then the guy… Tuck goes, wait. No, no, no. I'm genuinely sorry. Come back. He turns around a little bit.

And he does not come closer to you. I go, for real. No, I'm… We've acted in a really fucked up way. And this is your home. And honestly, we've been… This is a trick. No. No, no, no, no, no. It's not a trick. I promise. It's a trick. I promise. But it will be consequences. Can I roll to convince him it's not a trick? Yeah, you can. But he's telling you, if it's a trick, there will be consequences. Okay. It's not a trick. 36 plus charisma. Yeah, it's a 10. 11. 11.

And I go, I promise this isn't a trick. I am genuinely really sorry. Okay. And as a token of an apology to you, I have a gift for you. And Tuck opens his backpack and he reaches his hand in it and he pulls his middle finger out. And he walks forward. He's like, actually, I have two in here. And he reaches in with his other hand and he pulls his other. You can give one to your friend. And he slugs you right in the cheek. Just walks forward. Snap. What do I roll? Roll a D8. Oh. Two.

Two, which is your armor. Yeah. Worth it. And he stalks back out. And Billy comes to. Hey, you're back. I'm back. I got to see an old friend. I saw a lot of old friends. Really? Yeah. That's awesome. I don't remember them all, but I know that they're there. That's really great. Did they tell you anything? Yeah. Before I forget, I have to tell you. My friend, the Bush, he told me that long ago, a bunch of Billy mimes the arrows. Rangers? Rangers came here and there was a fight.

The Ileanas brought them. And that's. That's why the druids are mad. Oh, shit. Oh. And that's what they talk about with the bloodshed. I guess it wasn't a war, but it was just a fight here. Can I use bardic lore? For what? To see about this war? Either legends of guitar heroes past or histories. They would apply if we hadn't already established this is a very isolated culture. So these don't seem like stories that would spread. Okay. Unfortunately. Maybe a Spout Lore?

I'm telling you, there's no way that you would know. Okay. Yeah, unfortunately. But what if there's a war? There's no way we know. Such as. Such as. I guess. Theoretically, Ving might know something because the Rangers would bring back stories of it. That's what I was wondering. But I don't think Tuck would know. Okay. Ving, roll a Spout Lore. Tuck says. Nice. Plus wisdom? Yeah. 13. 13. Interesting and useful. I think that.

So there is a lullaby that Ving is remembering that I don't have the information for that is about a ranger. It's similar to that. That arrows flight. The like the ranger lullaby. The ranger king. Yeah. But it's about the ranger king and a woman falling in love and how it was this like really dangerous love because, you know, Romeo and Juliet shit. They shouldn't be together. So and it has elements of. Meeting a ranger. More like. Yeah. Taking part in some battle.

There were definitely conflicts before. Okay. That Ileana was probably a part of. It seems like Ileana had to then flee Hibernia. And that's why she was in the frozen north. Oh, shit. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long. Playing Ving, the half elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone.

Thank you, as always, to Aaron Reed for our incomparable intro and outro music. Thank you to River Q on the discord for the name Grimshay for the leader of the Deep Strider, Clade. And thank you to all of our Patreon supporters around the world. You can support us at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore dot com slash money, please. And get a bunch of bonus shit. Discord channels, monthly streams, gear, equipment, writing, art. A whole bonus campaign and a whack of other shit.

Or you can find us online at Spout Lore most places. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I gladly Spout Lore.

If you like Spout Lore and you want spelt more of it, go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore for exclusive bonus content, bonus games, exclusive merchandise, and more. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Thing is half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. Okay. After doing a little bit of fact-finding on whoever or whatever attacked the village slash outpost they found on the rocks, it was determined it may have been creatures called selkies, which seemed to be some sort of melding of human and sea mammal, maybe druids, maybe something else. Mm-hmm.

The horns in the fog sounded and the journey into the gray was made. They sailed through the day and evening, coming upon a… A drifting collection of dozens and dozens of empty boats drifting past. And it turned out to be a fleet, armada of lost souls. Ving was almost carried away before diving into the water to recover a rope and seeing beneath the waves hundreds of bodies, his mind breaking clear of whatever enchantment they'd placed on him.

While keeping watch one night, Tuck spotted an island. The group landed. Grouping on the… Beach as well. And then there was a little bit of group exploration as each group individually went around and looked for things. Ving finding a pool of water, a well, a spring that seems to connect to the spirit world. He completed his promise to the snake spirits that helped him see on the clear water. Well, we cut a deal.

Yeah, you cut a kind of deal imbuing them with some sort of aspect of the moon and giving them potentially a portal into the material realm at each… Full moon. We'll see if that has any ramifications on anybody at a later date. I can't imagine how it would.

Tuck found a stretch of beach that seemed reminiscent of the image slash vision that Billy had of Lillian's memories back in the Temple of the Moon and perhaps a worn carving of a little dinghy in a rock that he recarved, adding the symbols for Tuck, Billy and Ving in Runic next to them. It's the only thing I know in Runic. It's the first… First letters of each of your friends' names and your name. Yeah.

While foraging for food, Billy found a copse of trees covered in Runic carvings themselves in the old Druidic language. And from the top of the grove spotted some sort of stone beehive structure on the other side of the island. Upon investigating that, found a little worn, long abandoned living zone with a circlet made of twigs bearing the name Ileana in the Druidic language. Pretty fucking wild. Holy macaroni. And that is where we find our heroes now.

Billy, you're holding a circlet that contains the name Ileana. I put it on and I curtsy. I say, I look very beautiful. I should probably show my friends how good I look. And as you're curtsying and talking, it's slowly sliding down your head because it's too big for your tiny little head until it's around your neck. It's okay. It makes a nice necklace. It makes a nice necklace too. So you're heading back to find Ving and Tuck. Yep. Not too hard.

Tuck is just wandering around aimlessly, it would seem. And Ving is leaving a tumble of stones at the base of a rocky hill. Yeah. Looking a little thoughtful, introspective. It's easy to find Tuck because he's throwing rocks into the air and then slamming them into the ocean with a piece of driftwood. He's trying to get them as far as possible. And a couple people have gathered around to watch. Watch you do it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was like, wow. He's really smacking them.

This one goes to you, Short and McGuire or whatever. I slam it. Sploosh. Yeah. So yeah, Ving, Billy is rushing up to you. He's got something around his neck. Hey. Hi. Check out what I found. So I pull off the circlet and I hand it to Ving. It says. Ileana. Yeah. Oh my gosh. That's your mom's name, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think. I think it's an old Druid name. You don't think this was hers, do you? I don't know. Did she live here? I mean, she lived up north, I think.

She's from somewhere up here. Maybe it's a common name. This can't. Where'd you find it? I found it in a house. A house. Let's go to the house. Right. Billy leads Ving very easily to the stone hut on the other side. And then you hear Tuck running up behind you. Be like, get away, guys. I want to come too. And Perel is running behind Tuck even slower. I also. I also would like to be there. Oh, sure. I don't run fast, so you could probably catch up. And you all arrive at this hut.

It's quite small for the two of you. It was quite large for Billy. But it's a pretty small place. So this is the bookshelf here. I found some pretty cool nuggets of stuff. Nuggets? What do you mean? Like, look at them. Billy, those are mouse turds. Really? I definitely didn't eat any. I definitely did not eat them. I definitely did not eat them. I definitely did not eat them. I definitely did not eat them. I definitely did not eat them. Anyway, moving on.

Oh, Hentivirus doesn't exist here, I hope. Ving, you do see, actually, he is right. There are a couple kinds of nuggets on this. It looks like there's little dried bits of maybe, like, resin or sap of some kind. Different little, like, globby dried up oils. I'm going to spell lower about these globs of sap, these little resins. I got seven. Yeah, this looks to be some sort of old, um… Like, herbalist reagent. Hmm. You know, like a carrier oil, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Like, you put the herbs in this kind of, like, little sap and it helps bind them together for whatever, uh, unguent you're trying to make. Cool. Mm-hmm. Huh. It smells nice. It smells really nice. This comes from the, um, the old furs out there. Does it? Yeah. Is it poultices like these? And then I, uh, there's, like, some old cloth bags that are shoved back in behind a shelf. Oh, are there? Yeah, there are. Oh, fucking wicked. Oh, wow. Yeah, there are. Oh, great.

Anybody else want to reveal any loot that they find? There's more. What else is there? There's stuff under the, the old blankets and fabrics, like a book. Excellent. There's a book in there. A book. There's some cloth-wrapped, uh, bundles shoved behind something. There's a really old bottle of salad dressing in the fridge. 2009? Yeah. What the fuck? I've been using it this whole time. You've been using it since? Since 2009? How is it still in there? I don't eat salad a lot.

Um, yeah, you know what? I'm comfortable with there being some cloth-wrapped bundles and a book of sorts. What's the title of the book? Um, the title of the book is Meditations on a Valley in Bloom. Ooh. Hmm. Can I take that book? Yeah, absolutely. It's written in the, uh, the common language of the principalities. Cool. So, so it's newer? Uh, no, it's still, well, I mean, yeah, it's definitely not like, you know, 5,000 years old, uh, but maybe, you know, more in the two or 300.

Like, it's still an old book. It seems like it's poetry of some kind. Beautiful. I don't, I don't, I mean, yeah, I don't know what to think here. I want to sit and commune with the whispers of this face. Oh, yeah. Good call. Smart. Yeah. Um. Tuck, did you want to do something? No, not at all. Your thing is cooler. Hey, Tuck. There's also a really cool beach down here I wanted to show you. Oh, sick. Do you guys don't mind if I hang out here for a bit, huh? No.

I want to check out this beach, Billy. Perel's kind of got his hands on either side of the doorframe leaning into the hut while Ving, uh, settles into a meditation and looks for a couple seconds and goes, I'm going to go to the beach. Ving says without turning, thank you. So you've got a couple of minutes alone. So what's, uh. I'm going to read the book. Oh, you're just going to read the book? Yeah. I'm going to read the book. Yeah. I'm going to read the book. I'm going to read the book.

I'm going to read the book. With whispers. Okay. 2d6 plus wisdom. You put some of that like a resin underneath his nose, uh, and taking deep breaths and feeling this place. Nine. Nine. Okay. So you, uh, settle in and try and connect sort of, yeah, the circular imagery of a few of the things that you've seen since you've been here, the connection to the spirit world, the, the circlet. And, um, you first, you feel there's a lot of spiritual presence on this island.

Like, you know, there's a lot of spiritual presence on this island. Like if not direct presence, like the evidence of past presence, spirits have come here a lot for whatever reason, but you are given a clearer vision of a clearing in a forest far away. The trees look similar to the ones on this island. Uh, it's a dark night. The moon is high in the sky and there are people gathered. There seems to be, uh, a great deal of. Excitement, uh, anticipation for whatever's about to happen.

A young woman waits like in the center of the circle and an older woman. They're all wearing the same, like kind of long robe, like garments, like tux, like tux kimono. Yeah, exactly. Like tux kimono. It's so stylish. It weirdly flares at the hips for some reason. Somehow, despite the fact it doesn't reach the hips at all, it still flares at the hips. Are you pleading these? Um, yeah, they're all wearing similar garments of flowing.

Material, but they've all been ornamented in kind of individualized ways. They all have different sorts of, um, things on their brow. One is wearing a pair of antlers interwoven with like blackberry thorn, uh, or one has like a bark cap basically that contains a imagery reminiscent of an owl. Some people have, um, uh, coral woven into their long hair. Yeah. I like that a lot. Uh, and the, an older woman who is wearing a veil.

Basically made of like weeping willow branches approaches the young woman. And there's some words you can't make the words out, but you understand there's a ritual, a coming of age sort of thing happening. And the woman holds up a freshly woven circlet made of delicate branches bearing the name Ileana and places it on the brow of the young woman. Oh, there's a name day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Far off connection and you get glimpses of this circlet being passed to another and passed to another pass to another and so on and so forth and then you uh come to you realize that you the book has been closed you've placed it your feet and you have placed the circlet on your own brow oh that's sick down at the beach perel uh throws a rock up in the air swings a stick at it and whiffs so hard plops into the sand and goes no I can do it I can do it you just have to watch the rock I am watching the rock but if I'm not watching if I'm watching the rock how am I supposed to watch the stick just don't watch the stick how am I gonna know where the stick is if I'm not watching the stick you trust your body it's like oh my god he throws it up again whiffs again he just you you you see with your heart you hit it with your heart like this and billy has a tiny stick a tiny rock and he just smacks it right down doesn't even hit the water it just goes right in front of him just like that he goes okay I'll swing with my heart billy thanks a lot whiff I know it's hard being bad at sports I'm not bad it's whatever and then okay tuck comes up behind perot and he like touches him on the shoulder and he's like all right buddy I'll help you out with this close your eyes um close your eyes okay he closes his eyes and tuck comes up from behind time goes by and it's it's like when an asshole on a golf course is teaching a woman how to yeah but I've I've got my arms around him and I'm holding on to like the piece of driftwood that he's holding his feet are off the ground I was gonna say tuck is basically swimming perel as well and I I'm like it's it's like when you do magic man you're trusting your body to know where the wood has to go to connect with the rock uh-huh you're watching the target okay billy throw it uh throw it up and then tuck wheels back and then he lets go of perel's hands yeah and perel continues the swing crack whoa hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey I am 45, but I'm growing into my own as a man.

Oh, wow. You look rough. Thanks, Ving. If you're really old, you look bad. If you're really young, then you look terrible. I'm sorry. Life's been stressful for you. What did you learn? I have moved through my days with very little stress. What did you learn in the hut, Ving? I saw a naming ritual in which a young woman was given this name. Was it your mom? I don't think so, but I did feel a connection to them. There was a bunch of other people with strange…

I think they were druids or druidesque. Didn't you say back in the library when you learned about this that Ileana is like a family name? It's like a surname. Yeah. Right? It's not… Well, it's the, I guess, druidic equivalent of a surname, so it might not have… It might not have belonged to your mom, but it might have belonged to someone and people that you are related to. Mm-hmm. People belong to the names. And it helps guide their practices. That's cool. And what they do.

So this is like your family's house. Yeah, I guess so. And kind of like what my family did's house. So, what now? I wonder what Oleander's up to. Cut to. You guys find Oleander. Oleander and some crew members. He's like, Hey, I found a, like, I think a wreck of some kind. Oh, cool. So we're just kind of dredging, just kind of yanking up whatever we can find in there. Do you want help? Oh, yeah, that'd be great. You're super strong. Yeah, I'll help dredge. Sweet.

And it is laborious work, for sure. You know, people have dived down and, like, hooked stuff with ropes and you haul it all up. And it's just like some crates and barrels. Oh, yeah. I pull up a whole crate and barrel. That's awesome. There's so many soft blankets and wicker baskets in here. Do we want to roll and find out what it is? Yeah. Let me find. We'll do a treasure thing. Oh, a listener actually sent me a loot table.

Because they're like, Hey, I know you like loot tables, and I knew that you were struggling to find a cool one last time. So here's this one. Yeah, that would be sick. Sweet. Do you need me to roll to pull this shit up out of the bottom? Yeah. Give me a defy danger strength. You're going to pass. No problem. Nine. Yeah. There we go. Can I use my plus one forward to turn it into a 10? Yes, you can. Hell yeah. I forgot about that. So yeah, absolutely. Totally fucking wasted that.

But that means that you're going to get three rolls on this table instead of just two. Okay. Yeah. So there's like a bunch of like it's crates and barrels of various things. There's like some food in here that's ruined, you know, like some cloth. Dibs. Yeah. Dibs in the run. Food. Yeah. You can have it. Who says go nuts. But I want that barrel. And he points you. He points in your face. The barrel belongs to me. Deal. And basically sifting through a bunch of shit that you dig out of the silt.

One of the things that somebody finds and one of you snatches before they can get a good look at it is a single gold earring. Cool. Fashioned to represent a man being eaten by a crocodile. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. And then Tuck takes it and he looks at Ving and he goes to one knee and he goes, for you, my lord. What? I can't accept this. You're you. You got killed by a crocodile. Oh, my God. This is a very traumatic reminder of a horrible time in my life. I shall keep it with me always.

You should put it in your ear so you get reminded of it every day. You look in the mirror. And he keeps eye contact with Tuck. And then. Pierces his ear. Oh, jeez. Okay. I thought you had an ear piercing. I don't. Oh, God. That explains the wet feeling and pain. And everyone. Everyone's standing around us like all the pirates are just like, oh, God. Even short who you took the earring from is like, keep it. I don't even want that thing anymore. Oleander leans into Billy.

He goes, did Tuck just propose to Ving? What does that mean? I don't worry about it. Okay. Okay. And Billy, you're rifling around in this sundry crap. I like this earring, by the way. Yeah, it's cool, right? Yeah. And Billy, you find it's like a candlestick kind of like it looks like a mostly burned down nub of a candlestick. Oh. But for some reason, you, Billy, are like, ooh, ooh. Like it looks like trash to anybody else. But the wax has like weird kind of cloudy stiration.

And it that are like glittery. Almost. It looks like there's some sort of almost crystalline material mixed in with the wax. Can I wipe the wax off of it? Oh, no, it's part of it. The wax is mixed with this material. So it's like wax and crystal and like melted stub with a little burned wick sticking out of it. Billy puts it in his mouth. Of course. Sean jokes, of course. And we as soon as we seem like pick it up and start. We're like, ah, it's too late. It's in his mouth. Yeah. I taste it.

Tastes like wax. But you do as you're about to spit it out going. No, this tastes like all the other candles I've eaten before. You get that little tingly licking a battery feeling on your tongue. Ooh. I put it in the pouch. Do you want it? No, no, no, no. I was going to hand you some matches. Maybe that's not a great idea. That's a great idea. Perel goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Just one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a strike anywhere.

Let's be cautious here. I strike the match. No, Billy. Billy. Billy. I bring the candle and the match together. Don't do it. And light. God, fuck. Okay. Let me think about what's going to happen. Make a Billy high five. High five. Billy is laughing this maniacally at Perel. Oh. I think. Oh, okay. So you know what happens is. Uh, Perel goes, no, no, no, no. And you light it. And then he, he furrows his brow. And then he drops his hands. He goes, oh, what'd you think it was?

They're called like, what did they call them? It's like a, like an ion candle. It was like a, um, they were like focusing materials for magicians. It like helped, um, focus and, uh, helped you manipulate a thalamic energy. What did you think was going to happen? Well, I thought I was used to, I've used, I used them a couple of times when I was, um, a ma a wizard. Uh, and I thought, you know, Oh, dangerous Billy, maybe Billy's magic or my magic will go crazy.

But then I remembered, uh, of course I don't feel anything. Oh, uh, I, I pinch out the flame. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay. It's good. It's a good thing to hold on to. These are valuable. They're rare. I doubt any, nobody makes them anymore. Hmm. So hold onto that. Okay. Thank you. Thank you for confirming for me, Billy, what it is. I put it in the pouch. I feel very ashamed. No, if Billy, if I, if you didn't like that, just joking. Sorry.

No, this is, you guys have given me, uh, in the last like four days, a bunch of objects and information that I thought were lost forever. So this is still pretty exciting for me. Okay. I'll see if I can find another one. Yeah. Dig around. See what you can find. Get back in there, Billy. Start digging around. I'm gonna. Wait a second. If this, if this ship had someone on it that was burning ion candles, that means there might've been a wizard traveling on this boat.

There might be more wizard shit in this. And then we all jump in. Fighting each other to get in there. And I think our like feverish exuberance. Yeah. Our exuberance as we jump into this trash pile, like triggers a lot of the other pirates to jump into it. Oh yeah. There's something in the trash. No, no. It's. It's so much bad stuff that we're trying to get it to keep you safe. He's lying to us. I would definitely lie. He's trying to keep that trash from us. There's something good in the trash.

Our son is just jumping on a grenade of later to do work for you. Get your son out of my trash. Get your finger out of my face. It's my trash. I got it first. Billy's got his knife out. He's swiping at people. Okay. So Ving, you find, you find something in this scramble. While everyone's yelling, I duck between Tuck's legs and head into the muck. This was fucking weird. You find a sealed glass vial with wax still on the cap. Wax.

And it appears to be completely empty, but you see a small label affixed to the side and the words, a child's nightmare. Whoa. Oh my gosh. I put it next to my adorable little doll that I found a while ago. Cute. This, uh, loot table whips ass. Yeah. I love this. Okay. Then I will say, uh, this is called the Omni loot table. It's on a Tumblr account called tabletop trinkets by JJ. And it was sent to me, uh, by your wrist. Uh, but yeah, thank you so much for that loot table. It fucking kicks ass.

I'm going to use this every time. Now it's wicked. It's cool. It tucked in, get anything. I guess you found the earring and then you gave it to Ving. It's fine. Nobody's getting it. You're not giving me any gifts. I guess. Oh my God. Everybody fucking hates tuck. Well, we haven't rolled for the second one, so maybe I'll find you a gift. I don't know. Tuck starts jabbing the trash with his ax. Moodily. Oh no. Bullshit. You found all the stuff up here.

If you want anything else, you're going to have to go beneath. Yeah. Tuck moodily jumps into the ocean and starts swimming down. And before it goes, he goes, well, if you guys aren't going to give me any gifts, I'll go find gifts for myself. I'm an orphan. It's probably my birthday today. Okay. Splash. Billy goes, okay. Whatever. He, uh, he found that earring. He actually took that earring from someone else and then gave it to Ving. And now he's complaining that he didn't get anything.

I missed you guys so much. He gets like that sometimes. And then Billy jumps in the water. I'm swimming to the bottom. Can I just turn me on? He's just trying. Yeah, totally. Who is, who is, I guess is Ving leading the- Oh, you jumped in and you jumped in. Yeah, we all jumped in. I'm the last one jumping in. Give me a defy danger constitution. All of you. I got 12. Oh my God. I got nine. I also got nine. Holy shit. Uh, okay. Billy, no problem. You are a doggy paddling beneath the waves.

No, no problem at all. You're just kind of floating around everybody propelling your little body. I'm just trying to get you to go. I'm trying to get you to go. I'm trying to get you to go. I'm trying to get you to go. I'm trying to get you to go. I'm trying to get you to go. I'm trying to get you to go. Oh, you got a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad.

Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad. Oh, a quad.

To see because you are holding your breath but you're not going to hold your breath forever billy seems to just be motorboating around no problem like a little submersible but you see something glitter a bit of the gray light of day flashes off something kind of mostly submerged in the sand I grab it your hand brushes away the silt at the bottom and you uh retrieve a probably uh seven inch long shard of what looks to be a mirror oh shit cool I swim over to tuck with my last breath and hold out the mirror to him and then tuck takes it and clasps ving's hand and gives him a meaningful look and ving says I do too and I just imagine while you two are hanging there in the water looking meaningfully into each other's eyes billy just swims between the two of you and you're like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry and you're going it's like a heart trail of bubbles like a little looney tunes cupid yeah great yeah so you find a mirror shard in this wreck cool wow oh my god tuck are you looking for anything yeah I'm gonna look to discern realities 2d6 plus wisdom oh baby holy shit three what go ahead and mark one of those down um ving!

You know starts kicking back up to the surface and you swim further down your unbelievable constitution allowing you to hold your breath for an incredible amount of time um fatim used to give you uh he used to put your head in toilets a lot when you were younger so you got used to holding your breath so good holding my breath and in my mind I was like don't swallow any piss don't swallow any piss right now uh and as you're swimming around this wreck it's getting hard you can't really find anything super interesting it looks like you dredged up most of the water out of the useful stuff uh and then a shadow passes in the water just out of you oh just in the murk gone does tuck see it yeah but you don't see what it is it just flits in and out of you okay there it is again oh my god okay I start swimming really hard because I know about the selkies and the bullshit yeah defy danger strength okay what the fuck is going on that's five five what I totally fail I failed this fucking strength roll somehow um yeah you underwater though maybe you're like you swallow a bunch of water oh my god I just drink piss uh you start swimming up the surface kicking and paddling with all your might and I think the fact that I'm holding the mirror shard is slowing me down totally because you're not you don't have like a flat hand to paddle with and you feel jaws lock around your heel and you look down and there is like a harbor seal just like ripping your foot back and forth jesus fuck roll a d8 eight oh my god yeah it just like oh my god it just ravages your leg like just whips back and forth blood starts to cloud in the water that's so funny that is really funny that's great and then it lets go and it looks you right in the eye and then it dives back into the water and swims away what the fuck and it's gone you're like oh my god I'm so tired I'm so tired I'm so tired I'm so into the merc what billy you're totally peacefully swimming around this wreck I'm swimming around in the wreck underwater and I want to find something all right can I yeah 2d6 plus wisdom for discerned realities whoa 12 unbelievable so you get three questions off the list okay what here is useful or valuable to me so you are just like digging around in the silt like pushing sand and rubble away and uh you find what looks to be a little like um maybe the size of a walnut a wooden and metal dull metal that doesn't really glint kind of matte a shape that has a bunch of different sides it's like a ball but it's got a bunch of different sides and in each side is carved like a little rune and it's just sitting there in the sand it looks like a kind of like fun little toy all right pocket it yeah what here is not what it appears to be this ship uh you're you're looking at like the construction basically the pieces of the actual you're trying to reconstruct the ship in your mind basically as you're looking at all the pieces on the seafloor and um you're like oh well okay maybe they found that mirror piece it looks like maybe this is like a mccollan ship of some kind but the construction is off but it reminds you of some of the more specific alleys and neighborhoods that you saw in wickport like ving found those coins that have like the circles like the circular coins with the holes in them and the symbols written on them this looks like similar to construction techniques that you saw in that uh in those neighborhoods cool what is about to happen you hear a bunch of uh struggling above you sounds of like some sort of fight and you look up and there is a seal latched onto tuck's foot uh ripping it back and forth and there's blood clouding the water around him and you're like oh my god what is this this is a it looks like an animal that's getting back up oh oh shit um I swim up as fast as I can with tuck yeah you catch up with tuck no problem and you two break the surface they're selkies they're selkies in the water come on let's get out of here everybody out of the water yeah people rush back up onto the sand they're useless on land have you ever been to the zoo where ollie runs up where are they where'd you what'd you see there was like a giant harbor seal that fucked me up so bad and tuck is like limping his leg is bleeding thing is putting a portis on his leg while he's telling him yeah go ahead and roll what is it d6 to see how much it heals four does it heal four yeah okay um I start with four and then I'm gonna go with four and then I'm gonna start wrapping some of the fabric around me around tuck's ankle sweet thank you you're welcome no the blood flow is staunch sufficiently people are uh rushing back to the boats that you say that you rode over on and ollie's like no no they're in the water we can't get back to the boat it's not safe what do we know about selkies yeah 2d6 plus intelligence uh nine nine shit ten eight eight eight eight dd6 plus bond seven okay that makes it a ten heck yeah interesting and useful thing you know that if they primarily take the forms of seals and other sea mammals that it would be harder for them to fight on land and mostly that they will be way less maneuverable you know that like seals and sea lions can fight up close for sure on land but um if they need to move around a lot like chase you up the hill or chase you like to the center of the island though they might have to take human form which will give you a more even playing field I want to take all the driftwood and just push it up closer to the shores just make a barrier on the shore uh give me a defy danger strength uh eleven oh my god your strength is so much higher than I thought oh my god nine okay I I help yeah dd6 plus bond billy's also carrying sticks fuck four shit I'm not strong enough um um um um um um um um um um um Billy spends this whole time trying to drag one stick across the beach.

Yeah, and it floats away in the water. No! And Billy, being near the water while Ving is securing this barrier means that you're the first one to see eyes and slick gray heads poke up above the sea as they approach the beach. How many? You see three. Guys, they're here. Boom! They burst out of the surf. Fuck! They're varying size, some more reasonable size for sea mammals and then others huge. So they're not all leopard seals? No, they seem to have a variation.

There's a leopard seal, the harbor seal, the attack tuck, you can tell, and an elephant seal that has the huge drooping nose. Yeah, he's like two tons. Gross! Can I defend? Yeah, absolutely you can defend. I would love if someone used defend. What's defend? Oh my god. When you stand in defense of a person, item, or location under attack, roll plus constitution on a 10 plus, hold three. On a seven to nine, hold one. You may redirect an attack from the thing you defend to yourself.

Have the attack's effect or damage cut in half. Open up the attacker to an ally, giving that ally plus one forward against the attacker. Sick. Deal damage to the attacker equal to your level. Pretty fucking rad. Yeah. That's so cool. So Billy's preparing to defend the barricade, basically? Yeah. Yeah. Two to six plus constitution. Eight. Okay, so you get one hold. I want to deal damage to the attacker equal to my level. Great, yeah. Which one are you attacking? The big one, the elephant seal.

Okay, so what do you do? You just throw a bunch of stuff at him? I use one of the driftwood pieces, and it's kind of sharp, and I use it like a harpoon. Oh, nice. Sick. Yeah. Yeah, and it punches into the thick, blubbery hide of the elephant seal and stays there. Whoa. And it just goes like, and they start doing that flop. Yeah, I run. Yeah. Oh, no. Does that end your defend move? Yeah. Yeah, they're thundering towards the barricade now. Ving's like, I know. They have to do this.

Like, Tuck is like scrambling up the cliff that kind of like goes more onto land, and he's going to use what are you waiting for to try and draw them out of the water. Nice. Wow. Yeah. Whoa. Okay, yeah. So that's 14. Whoa. So what happens on a 10 plus with what are you waiting for? They treat you as the most obvious threat to be dealt with and ignore your companions, take plus two damage ongoing against them. Wow. Wow. Yes. I picture you putting like, I like sticks in your mouth. Oh, look at me.

Yeah. So what do you, what do you say to these things to get them to attack you? I do that. I put, I do, I do walrus face. Oh my God. It's not okay. And Tuck is like, turns to Ving and he's like, please don't judge me for this. What happens in battle stays in battle. And then he starts sprinting inland and doing walrus face. And then he's like, he picks up a bunch of bulk help as he's running up and he's like, look at me. I've got a dick for a nose. And then he makes it have an erection.

Is that a dick on my nose or I'm just happy to see you. And you know that you're just kind of putting a hat on a hat because the three seals are already chasing you. They burnt like they knock over a couple people as they run right past them and start chasing you up the hill. Uh, but they're having a hard time, uh, getting up the hill as fast as you, because they are not quadrupeds. They don't have legs. Not right now. Uh, and legs win again, my friends.

It's at this moment that you realize maybe you were being a little aggressive as four more seals come out of the water and go right past your companions chasing you up the hill as well. So there's seven. So they're going, so they're targeting tuck. That's what this move does. Yeah. Oh, tuck went come and get me. And now they're coming to get them, but they're all opened up to attack from the back from you guys. Yeah. I'm going to fall. Roll fight with honor. Yeah, do it. Nine, nine. Okay, great.

Uh, so you get what to hold? I get to hold. Cool. So I want to, um, cross the distance between your foe and bypassing all obstacles. Yeah. Great. So are you trying to stop one in particular or go after the big guy again? Okay, cool. I've got my harpoon. I'm going to send a flying. Yeah. How do you cross the distance to him with the harpoon flow throw? Right. Does that, and it yanks you. Oh, you're like, Oh, that's pretty fun. Swing. Ha ha. Like a throw. Yeah. His hammer. Yeah. Sick.

Your harpoon sails through the air with you drifting behind it like a ribbon in the wind. He's like, Billy, watch this. I didn't know that I would work. I thought I didn't think it would work. Now you're up close with them. So roll a roll, a hack and slash. Uh, plus what constitution? Uh, hack and slash is strength. Oh yeah. Uh, nine. Yeah. Roll your damage. Three. Cool. Uh, then roll. You're going to hate this. D 12. Holy God. One. Thank Christ.

So you stab your harpoon through the fin of, uh, the, one of the back fins of this elephant seal. Uh, what's the thing you used to yell on people when you step on the back of their shoe and grade school bullies used to do? Flat tire. Flat tire. Yeah. Yeah. That's what he yells. And it, uh, just whips around and tries to clobber you with. It's like, you know, how they just kind of, they rise up and they come down with their heads. Yeah. Shaking your bones a little bit and doing one damage.

Uh, and that deals with one of the seals that was chasing tuck. Now it's primarily concerned with you. Uh, Billy, there is a horde of sea mammals chasing tuck up a hill and Vingis started fighting the biggest one. What do you do? Um, I haven't rolled fairy child for today. Yeah. You could roll it now. Yeah. Okay. 10. So that means if I get, I get a 10, I get five hold. Holy shit. Yeah. Excellent. Um, I want to create a convincing illusion. Nice.

Um, so I want to create like another tuck to confuse the, the elephant seals. Smart. That's cool. Great. So is it like tuck is running one way and then your illusion runs the other way? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. They, um, tuck follows the other time. Wait, you look cool. Yeah. We high five. Like the other one, also does the dick nose thing. And then we high five and go two different ways. And it does. It splits them off. Three of them chase the one that you create and three of them chase tuck.

So now it's only dealing with three of them. Thanks Billy. No problem. Tuck. Uh, illusory version of you sprints off into the trees with, uh, three seals hot on his heels. And I, I stare at my ass for like a little bit too long as it's going. I'm like wicked. Yeah. And I want to use war cry. When you enter the battle with a show of force role plus charisma on a 10 plus, you take two of the options and a seven to nine, you take one. Okay. So what's your show of force here?

Um, as I'm running through the forest, I take Terry, Larry and Chad and I, I kind of just like start swiping them through trees as hard as I can. And they don't cut wood like with their spirit ability. So I'm just like trying to smash trees down behind me as a show of force, but also to slow them down. Great. Two D six plus, uh, whatever war cry is. All right, little bros. Don't fail me. Nine. Can I aid from a distance? Ooh.

Oh, you can aid from a distance because you got the illusory tuck doing stuff too. Yeah. Um, because I'm so in tune with like everything on the Island, I can actually feel that tuck is like calling on TLC to help him out. Oh, nice. Yeah. Buddies, you help my friend. Oh God, it didn't work. Six. Oh no, I'm too far away. Oh, well, I was running after the wrong tuck. Uh, so yeah, Billy, you run up and you're trying to help, uh, tuck in the illusory TLC, scare off these seals.

Uh, and you realize, yeah, this is not the right one as he like runs. He kind of clips through a tree, like his arm passes through. And one of the sea lions stops and goes like, Oh, sniffs at the air and turns around and looks right at you and bellows and starts flopping towards you. Uh, but you still got a seven to nine. So seven to nine on war cry. Sorry. This is just the funniest fight to watch. It's really funny. A chicken nugget running away.

It's a chicken nugget running away from a bag of milk. So on a seven to nine on war cry, you get one or the other. Yeah. So either your allies are rallied and take plus one forward or your enemies feel fear and act accordingly. Okay. Uh, so the trees start to come down. Like one falls directly on one of the seals. Yeah. And it runs off. Like it tries to get into the, it goes back down to the beach. Basically it flops down this crest into the water, just rolls down the hill like a hot dog. Yeah.

Just trying to get away. David Attenborough, especially when they're falling off that cliff. Yeah. Uh, and the other two, one gets clipped a little bit and one, one totally is missed by the trees, but they're charging after you, but it looks like they're a little bit less in control than they were a moment ago. And I, I turn around and I like, as soon as I see there's just one, I start charging this. There's two. I start. Oh, oh, he was doing the wink blink thing.

The one in front is bigger and the one behind is smaller and you start changing charging and the other one comes around and talks like fuck. Uh, so he throws the ax, it one, and then he jumps to punch the other one. Okay. Hack and slash. Cool. I got 13. I think so. Okay. Plus strength. Yeah. So roll your damage. And I take plus two ongoing damage. You do. Uh, that's a nine. So I do 11 damage. Let me just look at something. And the ax slices through the neck of one of them and the head falls off.

Oh, dabs the other one. It looks like a ham inside. And a cartoon, uh, tramp comes out with like the bindle and the hat with the top coming off of it. And it goes, someone's eating good tonight. Porky pig comes out. It goes, that's all folks. Yeah. Okay. So you're, you are going to kill one and seriously wound the other. I don't want to kill that. And you can totally just knock one out and mostly knock the other one out. Okay. So describe it. Oh, it's just what I said.

I throw the ax at one and it kind of like slices through it. And then the other one, I like, I do the, I think it's the Iron Man or the Thor. There's been so many Avenger references that I've made. Yeah. The jump up. And then like with the weight of my body falling down, I just punch as hard as I can. Just the like, boom, you see the ripple of muscle and fat through his whole body as you just slam its head into the ground. Yeah. Um, and it's like loud. It's like a tree falling. Oh man. Yeah.

And the other one, um, hits the ground and, uh, is like bleeding from this huge wound. And then it starts to, um, change. Its body starts to shift. Uh, Ving, you're fighting this gigantic elephant seal. Uh, yeah. It's pissed off. You talk to it. It is not talking right now. It's just yelling. It's roaring. Basically. You are being very rude. I would like to appeal somehow force the Druid. I want to force him to change.

Do I have the, you have ghost root and I got this spirit water and I put the, I take some ghost root really quick and I shave it. I grind it into like on the rocks. I may have a modern pestle and I'm just like, yes, you wait. And then I put in the thing and I'm like shaking like cocktails. Like you're going to get it now. Like Tom Cruise. Yeah. I'm cocked. I spin it up over my head and catch it behind my back. And I'm like, Coughlin's law, you're going to get your butt handed to you.

And then grab some seaweed. I just like, I don't know. I take some of my hair, put it in there. I squeeze out. I sneeze into the bottle and keep shaking up. And I'm like, I hope this does something. And then I, um, try and force it into his mouth. First, you're going to roll a defy danger dexterity to be able to do this without getting clobbered by this enormous elephant seal. Oh man, this is fucking, fucking great. I am really good at holy foraging on the go. This is my constitution.

Uh, this is dexterity. Yeah. I got a 13. Yeah. It's, it's like a, it's like watching a Jackie Chan fight scene. Like you're, you dodge a blow, grab a thing, duck under another blow as you shake it up. Yeah. I do a backward bend and I'm like, Oh, a mortar. Being so fast because he was bartending that party that we had at our going away party. Yeah. And similarly to that party, we cut away and like a lot of the pirates are watching and being like, Oh my God.

And like even Maggie and Oleander are like, wow, he is a specimen. Uh, yeah. So now roll a defy danger wisdom to see if this will work. Oh, nope. Five, five. Okay. So I, I crushed it up in my hand. I'm like, good night, sweet Prince. And I, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, blow it into his face. Okay.

So I think what does happen is you blow it in the elephant seals space and it like reels back. And all of a sudden there is a massive man standing in front of you. Uh, he's probably almost as tall as tuck probably weighs in excess of like 350 pounds. Like he's muscle, but he's got like a huge gut. Like he's really just a massive dude, big scraggly beard, big, like wet, dark hair. He's covered in tattoos. He's shirtless, leather pants on, but no shirt.

And he had a huge dick for a nose, regular human nose. That's his tail. He's got a walrus. He's got a walrus sticking balls on his face. What he does have is two eyes that look to be made of dark gray sea stone. Whoa. Like no pupils. Yep. Just stone. What? And he, he, he rips the harpoon out of his own human foot, throws it to the ground and goes, you dare and grabs you by the throat and just backhands you back down the beach. Holy shit. And then he is a elephant seal.

Again, roll a D 12 to roll and hit the ground and come back up on your feet. Like you skid backwards on your feet. Yeah. As you hit the beach, uh, Billy. Yeah. You, you've got a seal. One of the smaller ones is basically chasing you through the woods going like Billy is so stressed out cause he's already been running way too much. Yeah. Um, yeah. So Billy is going to run up a tree as if running from a bear. I don't know. Seals probably can't climb a tree. That's what Billy thinks.

Just it's flipper grabs a low bridge. Okay. Defy danger dexterity to get up this tree. Okay. Nine. Yeah. Okay. The seven to nine, you like get up the tree, you start grabbing branches. You climb so fast. You know this about yourself and in no time you're out of reach of the seal and it looks up at you and goes like, Oh, like barks at you. And then there is a rangy, skinny, pale young man at the bottom of the tree. It's just like, get down here. And he starts trying to climb up the tree. Oh no.

Why don't we just talk like as friends or equals? My name is fat Billy. What's your name? And he's just climbing. Whoa, slow down. I keep climbing up. So you try to, are you trying to charm him? Is this like a role or yeah, we're going to try to charm him magically or with just like fairy child. Okay. Then you can just spend your hold and charm an individual. Yeah. So I ask again, what's, what's your name? Why are you so angry at me? Uh, um, uh, what's my name? Help me out here. Jimbo. Jimbo.

Jimbo. I like Jimbo. My name's Jimbo and you have trespassed in the gray. Everybody's got to pay if they trespass in the gray, in the gray. Why can't we just drift through? Like we're, we're not going to be hanging out here very long. No drifting through is still considered trespass. Stone eyes orders. And he's stone eyes. Don't I? He's the, he's the king of the cell keys. Why don't you just ask stone eyes? Hey, stone eye. Why don't you ask one stone? I know he's got two, but they're one.

He's got so confusing. I know. I, we, it's been, it's been brought up. Just mentioned that we're pretty cool. Like we're just floating around looking for stuff and, uh, you know, just trying to do what we can. I'm just trying to do what I can. I'm just trying to do what I can. I'm just trying to do what I can. I'm just trying to do what I can. I'm just trying to do what I can. You know, just trying to do our best. I feel so stressed out.

All, all trespassers that come to the gray have, have designs upon things. What are, what, what designs do you have? You don't simply drift through. We're just trying to get to the frozen north. You passed through our territory though. You have to, if you're coming from McCall. No, there is a way around. Okay. Well, we didn't have time to go all the way around. So we're going to go to the north. So I'm so sorry. You could just put up a toll booth or something next time.

He like hooks his knees on a branch and like hangs his butt down a little bit to like sit like he hooks his feet under a different branch and he just crosses his arms over his chest. He's like a really skinny kid too. He's just got like a little bony chest. How old? I'd say like 2021. Okay. But really like whip lean. It looks like he's definitely relied on his seal form a lot for physicality. It's just like, ah, you're too high up now. Anyways, I can't get you.

So you come down here and I'll, you'll pay for your trespass. I'm not going to come down to pay for anything. Why not? Why not? Because we didn't do anything. We just came through here and you didn't even ask nicely. I think if you all asked nicely first, we could have paid you for. Wait, pay us. What do you mean? Well, you said to pay for trespass. What do you mean? Oh, I know I meant like, like pay with your life. Well, what tribute? That's an interesting prospect. Tribute.

Have you never considered maybe a, something in between living and death? No, not really. Um, what do you offer? I have, but Billy's like, could I save us all? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Oh, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, awkwardly tries not to fall I drop it into his hand almost drops it and holds it and as he's looking at the compass billy that has been broken this whole time you see the needle start to spin in his hands whoa what oh he doesn't oh he hasn't done that before it's nice all right I forgive your trespass small one okay so you will let us all go free no no no no I forgive your trespass stay up here and you will be spared what from the gray from the gray and he puts it in like a pouch in his pants and he keeps he starts awkwardly trying to climb down well hold on I also awkwardly climb down that's not how this works you know ignoring the one instruction he gave and we will cut back to tuck as cutting away as billy goes well hold on starts climbing down after him tuck tuck tuck you've got this one seal under your arms still struggling yeah I just do like a headlock around it and I start like punching him in the face over and over and over again okay hack and slash 13 13 roll your damage six yeah you plus two ongoing so that's eight oh god just hammer this seal into unconsciousness and every time I punch I go you should not bite my ankle again please on ankle it turned into like a bob a person no actually interestingly now that you've like knocked it unconscious uh it stays a seal oh but the person that you wounded uh has become a um a short stocky woman with like long black hair oh and she's just sitting there like holding her shoulder that's bleeding and she's just like and then tuck uh tuck looks at her and is like uh is uh is the fight over or are we talking now she looks at you and you're kind of like if she's laying if there's trees uh like this path that you're on and then like cliff into the water you're kind of to her left next to the seal that you just knocked into unconsciousness and she's like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry she looks at you and she gets up and she bolts for the edge oh she's gonna try and jump I chase to catch her okay uh defy danger dexterity oh snake eye okay uh she she races for the edge she jumps off head first and in midair becomes uh a sea lion and into the water and gone and tuck belly flops into the bay you can hear it everywhere around the island it's so loud it's a whip crack things like oh all the all the selkies and all of the sailors go ah it cuts back to those ghost ships and everyone's just like ah with their zombie face ving you come up in your anime backslide pose after getting knocked down the beach by stone eye and uh his elephant seal form is charging you what do you do I'm gonna grab a couple stones and then try and uh jump up double-fisted uppercut while he's over top of me cool hack and slash 2d6 plus strength I got 12 sick great roll your damage six oh nice holy shit this is a very tough individual yeah but you crack them like in his skull with these rocks and rocks on rocks rocks on rocks and you can hear the like resounding crack as you smoke him with these rocks and he goes up and boom like lands on his side and something underneath all this rage he's maybe a little scared oh cool billy yeah jimbo is trying to get back down to the beach he becomes a seal and he's going come back jimbo come back he stops and turns to you in his seal form jimbo is trying to get back down to the beach he becomes a seal and he's going oh hello well I can't talk to you like this and he turns back into jimbo and he's he's sitting cross-legged on the ground what do you want I already forgave your trespass yeah mine but I want you and the rest of your friends leave all my friends alone do you have more to offer I I I do have much to offer um I don't want to I have I pull out like that weird toy that I found under the ship it was it had like a bunch of runes yeah it's like a 131 sided die basically oh cool it was a it was a 20 sided polyhedron okay cool um I I I kind of wipe it down to make it a bit shiny and I I hold it up and like I have this he snatches it now hmm it is a treasure that I found long ago he holds it up to his eye and it is very rare and I've never seen one like that and it breaks my heart it crushes my soul to give it away but it's worth it to save my friends hmm I accept and I shall forgive your second trespass against me and allow you to join me in appealing to stone eyes better judgment oh yes I can do that if your friends can offer a significant tribute perhaps stone I can be compelled to be merciful for now okay and it's as jimbo's putting the polyhedron in his pocket he likes to do that like smiles pretty big like he's getting a good payday and you see his tail which is a mouthful of seal fangs whoa he's got seal canines creepy whoa dude sorry what I'm not there what I don't get to choose it uh and yeah you come down the beach and you see um sailors fighting the selkies that were chasing the illusory tuck and ving fighting a massive elephant seal tuck swimming back to shore he's a tuck actually climbed up and he's dragging the one that he knocked out back to the beach okay yeah so everybody kind of converges on the beach the selkies are trying to get back into the water the sailors are chasing them are being pushed towards the shore stone eyes stone eyes are uh rolling in his head and his huge elephant seal nose is like flaring as he takes in huge gusts of breath and a rangy young man comes down the beach with billy hot on his heels and goes stone eye stone eye and holds up his hands and tries to like get in between you and him I think hits the ground like uh gets to one knee stone ice and he because he's heard of the king and he gets down like to pay tribute and he like basically like hit me if you want to and his elephant seal form rises up very regally as you bow in front of him and jimbo goes they the small one this one he offered me and he holds up the two things the compass and the polyhedron he offered me the tribute they may have things to honor your great might if you might be merciful this could be an opportunity for you to increase your holdings in the and the holdings of uh all of hibernia wait what and uh stone eye turns back into this massive guy and he crosses his arms over his huge barrel chest goes is this true do you offer tribute yeah do we ever yeah and tucks stuffing the knocked out selkie behind a pile of driftwood yeah totally who amongst you is the leader and ollie ender uh steps forward he's like I guess that's me he gets pushed from behind everybody steps back he's still standing there oh fuck uh I don't want to do the back and forth between them but he's basically like hey stone eye nice to meet you heard a lot captain oleander dreyfus and he just goes I I would be happy to work out some kind of arrangement uh if that means that we could pass through your territories unobstructed ving holds up his spear with aliena written into it and he says this is the family name that once walked upon these lands please let us pass in the name of the land that the name is the family name of the land that once walked upon these lands please let us pass in the name of the land that once walked upon these lands please let us pass in the name of the is carved upon my spear in which the name of the land doth walk here once really really fell apart at the end I thought that was pretty good actually it was very moving speech I'm surprisingly out of breath this is an interesting tack being like I represent a family line of hibernia um okay roll um to fight danger charisma oh no fort four so you hold up the spear with the name iliana and stone eye is carved upon my spear in which the name of the land doth walk here once really really fell apart at the end I thought that was pretty good actually I'm surprisingly out of breath this is an interesting tack being like I represent a family line of hibernia looks you and even though he is shorter than you his prodigious girth makes him seem just like a giant among men and he looks at the name iliana and his brow furrows and he spits on the ground he says if you hold the name iliana you owe more than tribute you owe blood and that's where we're gonna end it for this week oh fuck let's do one more episode before I go to the fairy yeah I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz so long playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers take care playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie bye everyone thank you to aaron reed the incomparable aaron reed for our intro and outro music and all of the original music on the show uh written by abdulaziz composed and arranged by aaron reed except for terry not which was written by you right yes I keep forgetting in between which was read by jessica true absolutely I wrote a limbic didn't make it in yet a limbic you did read the act the acts I read I read one I loved yeah right yeah we got a short story the acts uh read by Paul Oppers on there too um yeah check out the soundcloud there's a lot of cool stuff on there we don't pump it up enough I don't think yeah um you can support us as all of our other supporters beautiful supporters do at patreon.com Spout Lore or speltlord.com money please where you get a ton of bonus content hours of audio art merch special world building micro writing like whatever we think up and love we throw on there for all of you beautiful people uh so check that out you can find us online at Spout Lore most places we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spelt you

Spout Lore is made possible by contributions from our listeners if you would like to support us go to patreon.com Spout Lore where you can get extra bonus special content gather round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tuck is the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight fingers have health he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might billy's a thief his tiny size does max the largest heart best and brightest they may not be but their friendship outweighs their smarts so gather round friends and listen you for the tales about to start hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz hello everybody playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers hello there and playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie hi everyone when last we left our heroes they experienced the final moments of the magi as the power of the spirit walker overcame his physical form uh pushing him closer and closer to death ving gave roth the opportunity to have the power removed from him and roth chose to die instead billy helped make roth's final moments a little bit more pleasant a little bit more comfortable as ving bid the animal spirits to leave roth as he passed from this world and then was cremated on the top of the mountain and he was killed by the power of the spirit walker and then was cremated on the top of the tower of the light guard fort I assume by ving uh in some fashion or just somebody lit him on fire that's a little bit less uh ceremonious ceremonious somebody just with a lighter like click click click it's not I feel like it was more that it took 45 minutes to even get him up against the side of his shoe it's someone just goes up as like uh you did a little bit of look at the light guard fort and you're like oh my god I'm so scared around in the tower but I'm really proud of you guys because you didn't really steal anything from this place you just kind of left except for the mirror except for the mirror shard which you found which was a secret room yeah like you found us yeah and you went through like the chambers of what looked to be the captain's council and didn't take a thing except for norman's legs except for norman's legs you took two things uh that were mismatched wooden appendages which you returned to storm and norman on your unceremonious retreat from the fort uh you informed norman that his life's work had been completed and he went off for new adventures in lands unknown maggie and kareen met back up at a vertog umberath's clinic and had a moment alone as they discussed uh what their relationship and partnership was going to look like going forward or if kareen just wanted to leave awkward it probably kind of really was probably a very uncomfortable conversation probably still is kind of weird yeah between them yeah you went and found captain oleander dreyfus to ask him if you could charter his boat uh to the frozen north found him getting thrown through a window at the hound uh you sat down at the hound and did a little bit of planning billy gave perel or showed perel the bag of magic crystals that he recovered from the mysterious assassin and told everybody that uh he was experiencing some unusual emotions when in contact with the crystals perel explained that the goggles and the weapon that the assassin carried um are part of a discipline that existed pre-exodus that I have changed the name to it's now called arcanics cool and that the knowledge for this should be if not totally lost very hard to find and probably uh very difficult to work with but someone is doing it somehow pretty fucking sick you met gull a stressed out 17 year old uh waiter at the hound and we left a huge tip for him oh massive it was he quit the next day yeah it's just like oh my god I'm rich forever ving left him uh one of the sunstone pieces that he has he's living like a king I'll go ahead and race that off thank you bill uh and then you headed down to the dock to prepare to cast off on oleander ship the sun runner uh and met up with maggie and kareen who has decided to come with you the journey began billy regaled a group of uh hardened sailors with a delicious meal idea that he had it was sort of halfway between a puppet show and a menu yeah this world's example uh analog to like food blog posts yeah I guess so yeah uh while tuck and ving had a very uh uh uh!

Difficult conversation below decks about um ving's recent healing of his body and his acceptance of uh the light of the moon into his spiritual essence yeah I guess you could call that acceptance still wondering what the heck yeah like no one's really sure what it means just that ving has been healed of his uh nature's price and tuck chose that moment to let ving in on the uh prophecy that he was delivered by uh amamargani back in mccall about uh how tuck believes I can't stress this enough tuck believes that he is going to die he's gonna die for sure I'm dead I'm fucking living on borrowed time this is him in the mirror every morning you're a dead man in like the mirror shard yeah oh man he stopped brushing his teeth like a month ago yeah that's a shaved sense I gotta save every second of time I have left yeah that's why he's doing such intense intermittent fast so he doesn't shit or eat he doesn't waste time on shitting or eating yeah he's sleeping so much less because he's like I I don't have time for this I don't have time for eight hours a night yeah he always has a little bucket of water with him just in case he sees a bush on fire you're not gonna get me like that uh and he told ving that uh tuck knows he's gonna die first and when he does uh he knows that billy will eventually forget about it and he's gonna die first and when he does uh he knows that him and tuck asked ving when billy forgets me let him forget me oh my god so sad uh and then spotted on the horizon billy saw smoke rising into the air and we came upon a ruined and smoldering collection of wooden buildings village is maybe a strong word for what you found on a little rock in the ocean oleander said hey maybe we should stop they might have useful supplies that we could scavenge and went ashore with maggie corrine and ving ving found uh bodies under the snow evidence of a battle and human bodies holding weapons that seem to die in defense of whatever this little outpost is and the bodies of two seals one leopard seal and one sea lion and the tracks of one gigantic sea mammalian of some kind descending towards the water uh transitioning into human footsteps and as billy and tuck were watching from the vessel horns sounded in the fog and that is where we find our heroes now and then tuck yells from the from the vessel to the shore did you did you guys hear the horns that came out of the fog uh yeah ollie like everybody on this island heard it too they all look towards the fog and then tuck yells from the from the vessel to the shore and then billy and tuck were watching from the north and ollie's like oh we should go we should get out of here okay uh uh see if you can grab anything grab it but we we got to go now I grabbed some weapons a spear uh yeah you found whatever weapons the the uh the animals are holding uh the animals aren't holding any weapons the humans have like swords and hatchets ving is trying to saw off a tusk as fast as you can go anywhere go anywhere go anywhere!

Go anywhere We are talking about a leopard seal and a sea lion, so they don't have any tusks. Hey, these ones do. Oh, yeah. A lot of marine mammals have, because remember the orcas? They had tusks. Because we said they were like orcs. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Let's say the sea lion does have bottom jaw tusks. Oh, yeah. Two jutting tusks. Okay. But yeah, they kind of hurry back to the boat.

And Ollie's like, yeah, I don't know if whoever did this is going to come back, but we should probably just get on the boat and figure out what we're going to do. Okay. And yeah, a few minutes later, you climb back up on the deck of the Sunrunner. What do you find? Just this. I hold the tusk to Billy. And some footprints. I don't know. It looks like a druid attack. There's a bunch of dead people, some dead animals. It's horrible.

I mean, and then he looks at Tuck and he's like, no, we didn't really find anything. He accidentally told Billy the traumatic thing. Yeah, it was mostly that they were having a meeting. Tuck's like, what the fuck are you doing? What are you doing, dude? Oh, fuck. I did it again, didn't I? So what were the horns? Does anybody, has anyone heard that before? Olyander, what was that? Oh, I've heard. I've heard. I've heard those horns before. What are they?

I've never seen what actually makes the sound. Can we Spout Lore for it or anything? 2d6 plus intelligence. Oh, Jesus. 11. Just saw us on. Whoa. Astounding. Zero intelligence. And you keep trying to get us to level up. Oh, my God. You are intelligent. Like, clearly, I don't need it. Yeah, you guys, currently, you already succeed at an average of at least one Spout Lore per season. So why would you update your intelligence at all? Okay, so interesting and useful.

So Olyander says, yeah, I mean, I've heard that the horns have been heard in relation to attacks like this. You know, the sinking of ships, the attacking of outposts. There seems to be, from what I understand, some kind of line in the area that people don't cross. If there are vessels that are found past that line, they might get attacked. If there are outposts or villages that are built above that line, they might get attacked.

It just seems that something or someone doesn't want people living or traveling through this area. Where's the line? I guess it's there. He points at the smoldering village. And Maggie. Maggie. Maggie says, I have heard stories of people, beings, creatures living in the fog. I mean, people call them selkies. Some kind of melding of human and sea life. And they're vicious. They're fishes? They're fishes? Vicious. Oh, vicious. Sorry, I can't understand your accent sometimes.

Well, we better not take any of these selfies then. How many keys do they sell on an average day? I'm going to go look and see. Sorry. If I can see anything. Maggie, no way. I'm sorry. We use humor as a form of diffusing tense situations. I understand. I understand. Yeah. So Maggie tells you, yeah, that there are stories about people called selkies living in the gray, which is what I've decided to call this area of fog. So sick. And that they are known for being pretty vicious. Hmm.

And Oleander adds, yeah. And I mean, it sounds like, like you've heard of the black ships, right? No. Black long ships in the fog. Yeah. Stories. Anybody that's ever seen them. Few people have survived. I, you maybe catch a glimpse. I caught a glimpse of one once, but I was able to outrun it. Thankfully. What? How? Well, and he kind of pats the wheel of the sun runner. He goes, I don't envy anyone in a slower boat, which is most people. You know what I mean? Can I Spout Lore on the black ships?

Yeah. Or the selkies? Yeah. Yeah. Use one black ships. Okay. I think I would know more about the black ships. You actually, uh, created them. Hmm. You Abdul came up with this idea. What a talented man. I am 26 plus intelligence. Talented amnesiac. I appear to be, and that's a force. So I want it. I can't wait to hear. Yeah. Tell me about these boats. Also mark some experience. Oh, yeah. Point of experience. And tell us what Tuck knows about the boats. Don't make it.

I make it a thing that he, he thinks is true. Uh, talk. Thinks that these boats are commercial cruise liners. Okay. Comedians in McCall go and work on. Yeah. I was thinking something more like he thinks they're ghost ships or, uh, Oh, or does he think they're commercial cruise line? No. Okay. So like the stories that he's been told about them or like, or the, the albums that he's listened to that have like references to the black ships in the gray is an album called the black ships in the gray.

Uh, I realized as you said that the sentence you said was really cool. Yeah. That's what the, that's the title. Uh, but it says that they are, that they're giants, like that they're the remnants of the giants, the ones that escaped the transformation into the Orica and kind of like left the nation of McCall. They moved to where the divine flame of the Lord of the flame couldn't touch them. And they stayed kind of on the water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

They stayed on the water forever because the Lord of the flame couldn't kind of reach them there in the fog because there's like water in the air. So they kind of mitigated the transformation by staying in, in the gray. Um, and that the ships are like their nation essentially. Uh, and Kareem, uh, nods cause that's a story that she's been told as well. She's like, yeah, that's, that's what I've heard of them.

Uh, yeah, she's, she's, she's been very quiet, uh, during this journey, but she co-signs this story that tuck tells tuck fist bumps her. She thinks about it. She starts to put her fist out and then she pulls it back and then tuck goes, his fingers around, wiggles his fingers. Like he didn't do anything. He didn't mean to. Uh, yeah. So that's what you learn. I'm sorry. Are we in danger now? These horns getting closer to us. Should we set sail? Yeah. Can we just like go really fast?

Like rip ass through the gray. All right. And he rubs his hands together. Let's, uh, set sail. Let's do it. I'll keep an eye out for the pretty fishes. Keep an eye out for threats, Billy. Okay. Uh, and we're going to, uh, undertake a perilous journey. Okay. Ving's going to start stockpiling arrowheads along the sides. Oh, smart. Oh my gosh. And arrow shafts and bows. The whole thing. After like an hour. Shit. Okay. Uh, okay. So somebody, he's got to scout ahead and someone's got to navigate.

I'll help navigate. Okay. This time. Who's going to scout? I could scout. Okay. Can we change the quarter master role to like Ving getting weapons ready just in case there is an invade, an incursion? Yeah, sure. Armor master. There's a move called stay sharp. That is like when you're on watch and something approaches, uh, so that we could use that as kind of like how prepared you are for something to happen. Great. So stay sharp is, uh, two D six plus wisdom.

We'll do scout ahead first cause we might have to roll a bunch of shit. Yeah. Ooh, uh, eight. Okay. So you get one from the list below, get the drop on whatever lies ahead. Discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain. Make a capital D discovery. Notice sign of a capital D danger. Uh, get the drop on what's ahead. Okay, cool. So we'll figure out what might be ahead after we roll navigate. So that's two D six plus intelligence. Yeah. So tuck is helping Oleander with the maps. Five.

Uh, uh, excellent. And text job was to just like hold the map down. Well, cause the sun runner is going fast. The wind is blowing really hard and his job was to hold the map down while Oleander looked at it. Uh, uh, okay. And the map just like flies off. Uh, okay. Yeah. So you, yeah, go ahead and roll two D six plus wisdom for stay sharp. Okay. Uh, uh, uh, uh, eight, eight. Uh, so on a seven to nine, you managed to sound the alarm, but no one has time to prepare.

So that is, if something approaches, uh, which it very well may, you won't have time to prepare for it. Okay. Um, so yeah, you set sail and pick up speed as you approach the like towering wall of fog that marks the edge of the gray. Uh, and you know, when you're walking through mist and it's not like you see a wall and you walk into the wall, it just kind of becomes misty around you. Uh, the gray is different. You pass through a wall, like a veil of fog and then it's just gray and cold inside.

Cool. Immediately feel chilly. Yeah. And you make pretty good time for a while, but eventually you notice that the sails start like billowing and flapping and the wind starts to die down. And then eventually it's totally still. No. And the boat, the sun runner just kind of drifts to a halt and starts kind of bobbing in the water. Can we row? Do you have oars? Uh, yeah, we got oars below deck. We could try and row. Row. Row. To the oars. I, I scurry down the steps to the deck below. Yeah.

To the row deck. I, I scurry behind Billy. And Billy, you see rows and rows of oars that are so much bigger than you for sure. Oh boy. All right. I will take the smallest one. A ladle. Yeah. Just a little ladle that you poke out the window. I'm helping. I, my rowing tactic is Billy's like jumping up and down sort of like a seesaw. Oh, cool. That's pretty good. Great. It's kind of helping. I'm just slapping the water. Yeah.

And tuck sits kind of in the middle of the vessel and grabs an oar on either side of him and just starts hammering it. Yeah. Yeah. Jolts the boat forward. Every time he rows it like, it's like, like a cartoon character. Uh, okay, great. So, so Ollie gets you guys to the rowers to make a steady, like, this is not a time to, you would never be able to row fast enough to outrun anything. So it's just about being able to move for as long as possible right now.

But everyone above deck is just looking out into the fog. It's weirdly quiet. Yeah. Even the sound, even the sound of the oars touching the water, the sounds muffled and something begins to take shape. And the fog and drifting closer to you resolving into a clear image is what looks to be a small two seater dinghy with no one in it. And then another one and then a slightly larger vessel. And there's just dozens and dozens of empty boats drifting out of the fog. Whoa. There's too many of them.

And they just begin to float past you. Float past you. Completely devoid of life. Oh, that's so eerie. Yeah. I'm going to jump down into one overboard into a boat. Okay. Yeah, you absolutely can. I'm going to check it out. Yeah. Defy danger dexterity. Seven. So yeah, you jump down into one of these boats. Vings says, I'll be right back. And then steps up on the thing and jumps without looking down. The boat rocks pretty hard. No oars or anything in here.

No real damage that you can see, but certainly a significant amount of dried blood. Oh, yikes. Fuck. Hmm. Yeah, it's blood. I think comes up on deck looking off. That's definitely blood. Uh, yeah. So these boats just sail by like a black parade. Is there, is there more and more of them as we go further and further in? I think there is enough that you lose count, but you do eventually come to like the edge of this fleet, this barren fleet.

As it drifts back into the fog behind you and disappears from view. Oh, okay. Totally normal. All he says, nothing to worry about. Billy's back up on the top deck after hearing all the ruckus. Um, can I use trap expert? Oh, oh yeah. Good idea. Okay. Sick. 12. Fuck. So on a 10 plus, I get three questions. All three. Okay. So if, is there a trap? And if so, what activates it? Yes, there is. Certainly. There is a trap in the sense of danger, uh, that you might not be able to recognize.

Billy, you are feeling a lot of sensations that other people don't usually pick up. And you're realizing that this fog is not ordinary fog. Something about this fog shifts and moves the place around you in an unnatural way. Like the landscape? Yeah. Like this, like going forward in this fog might not be the same as going forward on the open sea. The fog itself is dangerous. What does the trap do when activated? You think that if you were to get sufficiently lost in here, you would stay lost.

What else is hidden here? Just as the, like you're following the boats as they're starting to drift by, like Billy's walking down the deck and you see just as the, uh, as they're about to get into the fog proper behind you, you see one of them rock, uh, as a person like grips to the side and like hoists themselves up out of the bottom of one of the smaller boats. Look, look, look, Bing, Oleander. They start to wave their arm. Um, can I like use my Bill noculars to look closer? Yeah.

It looks like a, like a young, like maybe teenage girl, like a teen really like emaciated looks really, uh, pale kind of grayish complexion, almost long stringy blonde hair, just exhausted sunken eyes. Looks very weak. Like she's been without food or nourishment or medical care for a long time. Do I roll or anything to look close? Yeah, you can roll to certain realities if you want. Sure. Yeah. 10. Billy's knocking it out of the park right now. Yeah. Billy's on high alert. Yeah.

I think because like, so I think because we're so close to hibernia and like this area, Billy's getting a lot of like, it's almost like he's in a different, you know, like a radio station. Like you're almost like tuned in differently. So that's why he like feels the fog different. Like he, he feels like a buzzy electric feeling of sort of ringing. Everything's clear and crisper. Yeah. Yeah. Closer to the homeland. Yeah, totally. The fairy blood is strong here.

He's got a bag of those crystals too. Yeah. He's got the crystal bagels. What's wrong with me? Where did that even come from? I think I was thinking about Billy looking at the menu. I was like at the bottom of the burger is the bagel. Crystal bagels. Okay. He's got the bag of crystals. There we go. I see. Okay. You get three questions off to certain realities. What here is not what it appears to be. Hmm.

I think the way that she is waving at you is vigorous in a way that you would not expect somebody that looks that unhealthy to be able to wave. Okay. But maybe it's just a, I'm on my last legs. I need to give everything I can to try and get to try and get somebody's attention sort of thing. Who is really in control here?

So you're looking closer at her as she bobs around this boat and then you see another boat a little further away rock and a pair of eyes peek up over the side of that boat as well. Like a similar human, not an identical one, but another like young lean human form. Yikes. Okay. What happened here recently? Pure massacre. Okay. So the, the girl that you were watching wave at you seems to notice that the waving is not the same as the one that you were watching. Okay.

So you're looking at her and you're like, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Oh, Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh god like an old man and a younger man sit up in another boat what is are these zombies and they're just drifting more and more people appear in the boats as they continue to drift off into the fog all of them begin waving at you trying to get your attention gesturing you closer don't look at them don't look at them I wave no don't thing stop and the the woman holding the baby sees ving waving and beckons him closer I want to go no I grab things uh legs roll a defy danger wisdom thing eight yeah you really these people need help billy grabs a rope from the deck and he's he's tying it around things legs okay trying to tie him up basically yeah defy danger dexterity seven thing billy starts wrapping you up in a rope first you're like legs and then you know once he gets a hand he's trying to like get your hand attached to your leg yeah they'll need a rope to help get the boats back to this boat that's a good idea billy thank you tuck billy's trying to stop ving from seemingly jumping overboard yeah I've been rowing this whole time right and I hear I hear them struggling on the top deck you hear maggie going like what are you doing I'm like every ollie's like no get back get away from the side so I kind of I let the oars go and we slow down a little bit because I've been doing I've been doing yeah I look back and everyone is the dog behind me just talking they left you're the only ruler and uh I run upstairs and I see billy and and like basically fighting ving on the deck and you see other crew people along the sides like looking at these people that are gesturing them forward one person full-on goes over the side of the boat splashes into the water and starts swimming towards and tuck knows exactly what's going on he takes two of ving's flaps rips them off and then stuffs them in his ears and starts doing the wink blink uh can I roll for that uh yeah roll a defy danger wisdom okay zero wisdom seven seven nice uh whatever you're doing it's working it's definitely the wink blink that's helping you right now for sure and but and the kind of the the partial successes that I've had in the past is that I've been doing a lot of the work that I've been doing and I've have limited visibility half of the time and ollie sees you doing that he's like what are you doing and I'm like you too ollie billy's like yelling at tuck like grab everyone else off the deck take them down and tuck starts like anyone that's like gonna jump off the boat he's like smack him in the face really hard okay defy danger strength for that yeah 12 yeah you're in the middle of the boat and you're like oh my god I'm gonna jump off the boat you're able to grab like a bunch of people that are trying to dive over the side to go help these people something that you real that you notice as people uh are being pulled away they don't seem to be reacting the way that you recall reacting to the mermaids so they're not getting hard there's almost no they're not getting hard there's like nobody getting hard or wet on this deck at all right now um but billy thing is uh really like starting to gather up the rope and it's like thanks a lot oh no um ving what are you doing billy is trying to give you a rope so you can get something to help these people yeah I'm saying I'm laying I know it's okay I'm reaching for there's my harpoons nearby I'm gonna harpoon the lead boat and then start drawing it back in all right uh give me a defy danger dexterity for that throw I got 10 holy shit so you're still kind of tied up around your leg you're still kind of tied up around your leg I'm tying I'm tying the rope to the end of the harpoon yeah you're not able to get all of the rope for sure like billy still has you kind of restrained at least around the leg zone uh and you whip your harpoon out as hard as you can and it sails through the air above the water as the boats are drifting away I should say you're at the back of the boat and they're drifting past you so this is more of a back boat than lead boat and you hit the wood of a small rowboat without oars and a middle-aged man who is uh seems to be missing like a chunk of his side is like oh and he grabs the rope and he starts oh man pulling in towards the boat I've got the waning knife on me and I cut the rope yeah snaps right through it what are you doing I'm I'm helping uh vings harpoon begins to drift away on the boat uh the rope hits the water and starts trailing through oh shit is that a spear that's on that yeah that's his that's the spear yeah that's his harpoon fuck oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ving jumps in the water swims for the end of the rope and I'm just gonna go get that lead rope and bring it back to the ship with my speed belly uh yeah I know you're trying to help but that's not helping defy danger dexterity for this dive uh nine so you dive off the back of the sun runner a beautiful swan dive your arms thrown out to the side uh peeking as you hit the water and just before I go into the water they go back to my side and I'm like oh my god I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared and I land face first first right a big mouthful of uh ice cold seawater and something about the like bracing shocking abrupt cold of the water shakes your mind loose for a moment oh yeah it doesn't work underwater and underneath the water just below the surface kind of drifting down into the dark you see hundreds of bodies whoa and they're all like following the boats as they drift away what the heck and then goes he realizes what's going on yeah so you you break the surface and the ropes right there your harpoon is attached to the boat but um I grab it you could probably like with the rope you could probably yank it loose if you wanted to you think so I'm gonna try and yank it loose then yeah you grab the rope and just defy danger strength oh my god rip it out okay six six um I I I throw the rope overboard for ving 2d6 plus bond 12 great yeah so um you grab onto the rope and you can't quite get like the purchase kind of just floating in the water and the other end of the rope lands next to you and with that like against the weight of the boat yeah you're able to pop it loose and it comes flying at my face yeah roll a defy danger dexterity to not get smoked by your own harpoon uh seven okay um you can yank it really fast and get hit but get your harpoon or you can yank it a little bit slower and give whatever's on that boat the opportunity to grab on as well I'm gonna get hit okay roll your damage die so a d6 two yeah your harpoon comes back and nicks your cheek but it's not enough to seriously wound you just to kind of freak you out and now you're being pulled behind the sunrunner as this thing reaches out to you uh maggie and I are hauling the rope up trying to pull ving back on board yeah maggie's got it like billy you're helping for sure helping she's doing this beside her yeah hand over hand but uh yeah maggie's like corded shoulders you could just she's reeling it in like a fishing rod um ving as you're being pulled you're like watching the boats drift away and you see one of the crewmen that swam towards the dock get like helped up into one of the boats and like a woman in her early 20s in a in a bonnet and a dress like really weird old clothing uh sits him down in the boat and pats his shoulder and he's like oh my god I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so shoulders and he like just sits there placidly as the boat drifts away whoa can I Spout Lore about what's going on here yeah totally here we go wink blink do not fail so I got six so I could use an eight I'll eight I'm in the water I saw everything underneath the water I saw a bunch yeah nice nine sick so that makes it a seven uh you've heard stories thing you've heard them too about lost fleets for lack of a better like the boats are definitely not fleet worthy necessarily but people that have gotten lost in the fog and are spotted by sailors decades later or people that go missing and then stories about them are told by people way older that match descriptions or people that have ships that have been sunk in their crew have been seen drifting through the the water the prevailing theory is that they're the souls of people that have died but haven't been able to pass on because they remain lost in the gray whoa what what that means actually metaphysically in our world who knows if people have souls but uh the yeah the idea is that they're ghosts for lack of a better term this is a ghost fleet maybe ving was like subject to it because he's kind of like finding himself again hmm feeling a little unmoored yeah who he is well in the the pull of the moon too like that out of body yeah essence so the idea is that they just want help finding their way home so they try and attract people that might be able to get them there are they like evil or harmful uh harmful but not evil okay like that guy will probably be fine right they're not gonna eat his brains or anything right I don't know no yeah they're that is one thing is they're definitely not known to physically attack or kill people they just try and like lure them in and ask their help and most people that get that close agree and they're never seen again because no one can actually help yeah they're just gonna be lost forever is this related at all to mother never was in her army of has-beens and like could bees and stuff I would say not necessarily I think this is kind of a new sort of thing okay we're seeing like I think this is these are ghosts whoa yeah that's what tux says he's like guys I think these are ghosts you can stop doing that now so yeah so maggie reaches up and pulls one of your plugs out of your ear I said I think they're ghosts yeah what are you doing with these I was doing the wink blink what's the wink blink it's a way to keep mermaids from like getting you so horny that you jump into the water with them it actually works I believe it honestly if you only open one eye at a time and you block your ears you can't hear their beautiful song and you can't see their beautiful tits that much uh ollie's like great well now that we've got that out of the way I'm like you're you're treating me like I'm some kind of idiot but one day the wink blink will save your life yeah okay mermaids yeah sure if I ever see a mermaid I'll let you know he's also writing it down yeah wink blink don't look at it um yeah so all that is really well all that really remains is to continue I'd say it's getting kind of late so we might want to do like the camp moves basically okay make camp you know set a watch that kind of thing make camp when you settle into rest choose one member of the party to manage provisions which is the food thing that we're going to do then if you eat and drink you and you have enough xp you can leave the room and you can go to bed and you can go to bed and you can go to bed and level up and then I'll choose one person to roll a flat roll and that will determine how this evening goes so who's going to manage provisions I mean narratively billy's all over the food okay so manage provisions is 2d6 plus wisdom okay 12 of course I did a really good job I even organized all the food in like kind of a sandwich form like themes of food are all stacked up nicely okay well on a 10 plus you choose one from the list below careful management reduces the amount of rations consumed or the party consumes the expected amount of food you prepare and it is excellent describe it and everyone who licks their lips takes plus one forward okay so the food I I choose the second one obviously and everyone eats a regular amount I billy makes like pirate food which is just like a lot of beef jerky and lime wedges bread of sorts that he smeared with cheese of sorts some cheese um and and he decorated it with a bunch of clam shells that he still had and yeah um billy opened up one of the jars of wapple jelly whoa oh okay I need people lick their lips I billy says this yeah it's like you don't even appreciate what I mean he has to reveal his lips this is entrancing this looks like the sea singer like I know we should be taking a picture of this or something for content but I can't look away all right okay all right so you get plus one forward and you get plus one back so you get plus one back so you get plus one back so you get plus unfortunately I wish I could take it away it looks so disgusting uh paul how did how what does ving feel about this food oh ving loves it the jelly is such a perfect sweetness after that smeared hard cheese and the hard tack yep I don't think it was supposed to be hard but great job saving some stale bread beautiful and there we go and uh the cheese that he he put he smeared on the bread while delicious and soft and extremely aged uh tuck is looking at a pile of uh mouse traps that billy emptied in the bottle and he's like where do all these mouse traps come from we don't have any mice so like they're not gonna eat it his fingers have bandages on them dangerous there has to be a better way he was just triggering didn't even consider trying to get it off without setting it off yeah his fingers are so swollen like sausages yeah yeah added respect for louise how does billy feel about this food billy feels great he's been looking at his lips the whole time you got to do it audibly the people can't see there we go so you get a plus one forward so everyone's gonna add a plus one to their next roll uh then somebody's gonna roll plus nothing who has the worst luck I think vang has the worst luck right now yeah jesus roll 2d6 and don't add anything going pretty good for me guys you just jumped into the water to try and give yourself over to a ghost fleet okay it's just when you said paul I thought it was outside of the game okay yeah 2d6 plus nothing boom nine so on a seven to nine I choose one from the list below the first one is the person on watch notices the nearby capital d discovery one party member of the gm's choice suffers a restless night one or more followers causes trouble a capital d danger approaches it's not immediately hostile but whoever's on watch it better stay sharp anyways so who is on watch right now do we think middle of the night no I I would take watch because I don't trust vang to be alone right yeah why because of the the people in the boat because you jumped in the water no I'm fine now man he's just saying looking off the back of the boat squinting I think you should go maybe like below jackson like rest how would I rest up you can rest up here okay okay tuck you're standing on watch the night is gray the sea is gray yeah the moon is a lighter gray you're standing on the deck just keeping watch normal walking around you know some people have gone to sleep they're sleeping on the deck a lot of the times um so many couches on the deck yeah one the sunrunner is quite a lot smaller than the uh than me what sorry I just had an image of like billy like the sunrunner and I'm like oh my god I'm so sorry like like burrito dub and like him rolling around on the deck as he's back and forth yeah gentle rocking it was every couple seconds he rolls through the frame uh yeah there are people sleeping on on couches on pullout couches on the top of the deck and some people blow and you see through the fog illuminated by the faint diffused moonlight uh what looks like a like a sandbar or like a bunch of like rocks coming out of the water and you look a little bit they kind of wind through the waves to your to the right hand side of the ship and you kind of follow it with your eyes and you realize there's like an island island uh over to the right in that direction oh shit yeah there's land over there ollie uh-huh there's land over there what do I say ho there's a hoe over there we should go land we should go land ho oh uh no oh is that a good idea I mean I don't know I mean maybe there's something valuable on that island billy rolls by and he's like maybe there's treasure and then rolls away or snack being standing beside you what if there's someone who needs help we're out of apple jelly this keeps rolling by and we need more bread and cheese to come to think about it you know what you guys are right what if there is something valuable on that island waffles okay we're gonna make landfall but only until things get really weird we can tolerate a little bit of weird in search of uh profit but if it gets really weird we're leaving okay we establish a marker of what really weird is out okay so like up higher in this marker if a uh an endless parade of empty boats float by with the souls of the damned inside we're gonna go all right does everybody agree with that yeah yeah okay we put our hands and then we say all this is handed one two three agree okay you guys are learning how we do it on the sun runner all right so okay how about we do it on the sun runner all right voice oh yeah yeah I'd go to pick the flower but it starts bleeding and screaming uh-huh I've been there what do you think about that is that too weird or do we still stick around my question to you is there any boats floating by with zombie people not at all my friend not that weird of a situation not that weird not that weird so we stick around if we if we come to a flower with our father's voice that screams and bleeds yeah yeah yeah okay everybody your hands in okay one two three agree okay into the sidebar what I come up to this island there is normal looking sand I step on it starts spiraling sucking me under but there's a bottom limit to which I am taller than okay a parrot comes out of my mouth speaking with my voice telling me to go in back down to the dirt where there is some pineapple jelly uh what weird or not weird uh well I mean your head is above the level of the sand right you said so you're not in mortal peril also let me ask you a question is there a parade of ghost ships floating by there is not okay I don't think that's weird okay everybody put your hands in one two three all right I mean what if we land on on the island and I'm brought back into time uh back to the the eldridge years of no longer in the sand and we're not in the sand anymore there's no land or space and my body is not my body but I am one with everything and everything speaks to me and I hear everything all at once but also never at all is that weird okay so you're you're part of everything you're seeing everything you're hearing everything but are you seeing the ghost an endless parade of souls of the damned yeah no no not that weird I don't think that's okay everybody hands in one two three agreed okay and this has been a series of scenes where I was like the first one we were on the deck and talking and the second one we were in a little dinghy going to the island and then the last one we're like on the shore just talking about and there's in the background as billy is describing being one with the universe one of the pirates is just like what the fuck he's got a hell of imagination uh it was one of the fat skinny guys yeah totally yeah the two fat and skinny yeah they're the two guys you always see yeah short and mcguire uh okay so I think maggie and kareen and perel all agree to come on the island as well so they'll be around if you need their help with anything and we literally have a single data point for what is too weird which is an empty vessel uh filled with the souls of the damned yeah black parade floating by yeah totally uh so I'm gonna be this is I'll part the veil a little bit no idea what this island's about you can explore to your heart's content uh we don't know what's on here maybe we'll find something cool maybe we decide to leave oleander wants to look around and see if there's at least uh if there is anything super valuable that they could grab okay or maybe some food the island I'm imagining is a real like gray stony island kind of covered in evergreen trees uh there are sheer rock cliffs on some sides the side that you're on is the lowest but there's probably another beach or shoreline on the other side of the island it's kind of cramped in a way there are forested areas of a rocky hill but a lot of like nooks and crannies that you could poke around in cool yeah does it seem inhabited at all any signs of other people being here let's roll it to certain realities all right does that guys you can you can re-roll re-roll the brown one that was that'd be considered a jack die snake eyes god wanted it to happen like this excellent so you plus what sorry plus intelligence plus wisdom three cool uh so ving is wandering or what was that face I had an idea for what the the consequence was but no I want to hear it uh because he you made that promise to the snakes the promise to the snakes I don't remember that when we were when we were all high on ghost route they made you promise to help them get through to this side that promise might be coming due oh whoa interesting release them on the island um!

I that's what that's why I thought of it because it was a snake oh yeah uh well I mean I kind of like the idea maybe ving you're wandering around like everybody's just kind of spreading out on the island basically to see what they can find and um you feel a concentration of spiritual energy nearby something similar to sort of the conflicts that happened on the boat but more similar to sites of significance to the druids that you felt like in the principalities like in the north or in the great forest oh shit and you follow this feeling through a copes cops whatever of fir trees and you find nestled in um like a tumble of rocks at the base of like a stony hill what looks to be a fountainhead like a spring of crystal clear water kind of bubbly up from the ground forming this like natural well in the rocks cool I want to take some put a mason jar yeah it's ice cold and feels so nice so refreshing I'm I'm very tempted to have a drink but I'm not going to oh but you should I know think of how refreshing it would be that would be great think about hydrating you know I'm gonna make billy and tuck drink some first but uh yeah there's something about this the feeling of this place that's very familiar to you and you hear in your head in your soul like kind of a hissing and then remember you promised us mufasa remember yeah you promised a promise is a promise and talk what are you up to uh I walked down to like one of the shorelines right like one of the kind of like rockier beaches on the the island and I'm looking around and uh I recognize it from the vision of lillian and chimes and rian on like a young rian on a beach oh interesting yeah from that like little secret room in the light guard fort and I recognize it because the beach looks exactly the same but like on one of the sort of like rock faces that like the beach backs onto there's like a carving that a child made with a knife of like a small like one person dinghy like it's like a kid's drawing of a boat with like the triangle sail and I remember that from the division and yeah so this something about this beach does seem very familiar and this extremely faded keep that in mind you think that this might resemble kind of the design of like how a kid would draw a boat but it might also just be cracks and worn um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um like investigate and look for like good foods and stuff in this area oh okay 11 wow okay so billy knows that you can eat these flowers because they also grow uh in the in the everwood valley they're more they grow bigger and more lush out there but they have little ones here and they kind of taste like little strawberries cool yeah very sweet um and the herbs uh it's just like an oniony kind of herb that mirrors taught him that you can eat so he's gathering those um and he's really like rummaging around the roots of these trees and it's like he hears stuff oh like it's almost like the trees are like trying to like talk to him whoa interesting cool so you do get questions from the discern realities list oh I do yeah you get three because you got an 11 wow!

Fuck yeah what here is useful or valuable to me yeah you uh it does seem like the trees are trying to speak to you this tree that you're near is trying to communicate something to you in some way you think yeah billy's not sure what it's trying to say but he does feel a weird like kind of like familiar sense um what here is not what it appears to be um you are looking around the bases of these trees you're just like oh something you this feels familiar in some way still continuing to gather your little berries and herbs and then you notice at the base of this tree it looks like something was carved into it uh and you follow that carving up and there's more carvings and more carvings and you realize that most of the trees in this little grove uh have words and runes carved into them can I read them yeah I think you can yeah so billy like find some stuff and then you're like oh my god I'm gonna go to the tree and go to the tree and go to the tree and go to the tree and go to the tree and go to the tree and go to the tree high up actually in these this tree and he realizes he's been reading like seeing so much of it he sees like tall figures like weird robes and like loose clothing and a lot of clothing that's just made from the plants here he sees like that certain plants have like uprooted themselves and and and learned to like I don't want to say like walk but like move yeah like they move and then like through their life cycles like become more humanoid oh that's really cool interesting so that's what the runes are saying to you yeah it's kind of drawing that history about it cool is this the the origins of like humanoid fairies maybe maybe like there were pieces of the land that decided to become more maybe yeah there's a part of the tree part of the tree talks of boats that arrived here carrying these taller humans oh oh taller isn't like taller than average like people now like ving size yeah like taller than billy oh interesting hmm what should I be on the lookout for now that I'm up in this tree yeah totally yeah um you are up in the tree and you get a pretty good look at the island uh and on the other side the far side of the island is a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of where everybody is like it kind of the island goes up to a peak and then drops back down to the water you see on a jutting rock over the water on the other side of the island a rough old looking uh stone tower small like a squat ish kind of round watchtower looking structure yeah crumbled like part of the top of the tower is crumbled away looks like the elements have gotten to it but there's an old structure billy feels pretty safe on this island actually um so I think he's gonna go there nice sweet cool ving these voices in your head are getting pretty insistent that you help them yeah it's the snakes isn't it he says to the voices very good thank you so how are you going to get us out of here out of my head into the world into the world baby where are you now snake babies we're in the spirit world we're nearby but we could be closer can you show yourself uh you see shimmering in the surface of the well a reflection of like two snakes coiling around each other ving puts his head down into the pool submerging his gills entering the spirit water oh it gulps into fresh air spirit air you feel uh yourself pass through the veil between the material and the spirit whoa whoa and this appears to be yeah some sort of extreme thinning and this and the snakes are like swimming around each other in the water underneath you like circling what do you want of the real world and they're like you want to know the weird thing don't even know we don't know what it's like over there we want to we want to find out we want to experience the material we want to experience real solid earth beneath our scales I mean ving's not he knows it's not a great idea these spirit snakes into the world yeah certainly not what can I give of you I can give you a taste of the real world into yours I can bring something here I can't bring you back that was not the deal yeah well it's what I got for you uh what are you offering them specifically the moon what do you mean a part of the moon spirit I can bring you part of the full moon I can bring you moon juice you looking for moon stuff I got plenty because I think I might have some of that deep inside of me a well of moon juice ving is still figuring out his new powers yeah totally he's looking at them like maybe they know about the moon juice one of them is like bro are you offering us drugs because I don't want to dmt what are you looking for you were looking for moon juice I got Moon juice, bro.

Interesting. So I guess what are you offering to do for them? Like imbue them with this moon light? Give them something of the spirit of the moon here to take back to be part of their dominion. Interesting. They can become celestial moon snakes. Holy shit. You want to be forever? Become part of the sky. Okay. Roll a 2d6 plus charisma for a parlay. Okay. 10. Whoa. Interesting. They say to each other. You were my eyes. Now see with thine own eyes. The moon juice. Okay.

You can stop trying to sell us on it. We've been sold. Okay. Okay. Cool. So you're going to make us one with the moon spirit. I guess so. What? What would that do at this point? I mean, no idea what it did do. It could be like, you know how like some animals respond to the moon, like, but snakes don't like it could like fuck with their like circadian rhythm. Makes snakes nocturnal. Yeah. Or something. Maybe it'll give them more night sight. Yeah.

It's probably going to have some interesting ramifications. There's like, it's sort of like Chinese mythology with dragons, but like there's a whole thing where it's like, you know, in architecture. They've got all these circles for the dragons to like be able to travel through. It could be a thing where it's like maybe when the moon is full, that's when the snakes can come visit like the real plane. Whoa. Yeah. And then as it like wanes, then they're sent back to the spirit world. Yeah.

I can't give you this world all the time, but when the moon is full, you can come and visit. That's fucking rad. Really sick. Yeah. Very cool. The idea that, cause we've been talking about how like the moon is different in this world. The idea that it like mediates the distance between the, like the spirit realm and the material in the material realm also like lines up with the historical precedent that like the shattering happened and then stuff collapsed. Yeah.

When I like that, it means that the light, the physical light parts of the moon are different than the dark parts of the moon too. Yeah. Different chunks falling. Mm-hmm. That's cool. Yeah, that's sweet. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. Yes. We accept. Okay. How do we do this? It's gonna get weird, bro. No. Come at me, bro. They just, you feel yourself compelled to plunge your hands into the pool as well.

Your arms getting, going deep into the, this reserve, this well of water as the two snakes coil up each of your arms basically, and just kind of spin. And then as they uncoil, they head back down your arms and they begin to glow with this like bright white brilliance. Yeah. Of the moonlight that you've come to know. Mm-hmm. The well is glowing with the light of the moon. Mm-hmm. Ooh. And they begin to swim in a circle in the well following one another, forming this like brilliant white circle.

And they carry on back down the well and disappear from sight, this light following them. Our deal is done. Thank you. He puts his hand out for a fist bump. They swim back up and they- They bop your face. Yeah. They bob your head with a fist and then they swim back down and they disappear from sight back into the spirit world. Okay. Ving just stands up, his head's like dripping, his hair just looks around. Okay, nobody saw that. There might be no ramifications.

Let's see how long I can keep this under wraps. The shot shifts to a wide of Ving just starting to run away from the beach that he's on. Two gigantic moonlit snakes chase him down the island. Tuck. What are you doing? Yeah, it cuts back to Tuck and he took the waning knife from Billy before he left the ship and you can see he went to where the carving of that little dinghy was and he retraces it and carves it back in from what he remembers from the vision in the keep.

And then next to it he carves the runic symbols of Tuck, Billy, and Ving which… Which are like an X, a Y, and an M. Just like… I don't know, he's been thinking about impermanence a lot so he's like, I'll just make this drawing last a little longer and then I'll leave a piece of myself here. Yeah. And then I guess that's it. I like it as you run your hand down the rock to kind of clear away the dust and the pebbles that got cut loose. You hear on the wind a faint chiming.

I look out to the ocean. It's clear. It's a clear, gray, dreary night. And I yell, Chimes! Chimes, is that you? No. I hear that on the wind. Chimes, who? Billy. Yeah, Billy is singing to himself. Really like jovial. Yeah. Really happy mood. Feeling energized. As he like traipses through the forest towards the tower. Mm-hmm. Did you tell anybody about the tower? Or are you just going by yourself? Nope. I just went by myself. Jesus fucking Christ. Excellent. Yeah.

And it's the closer you get, I'm going to retcon the image that how it looks a little bit. It's more, it's a lot of stacked flat stones and it's still quite tall, but it kind of forms this like beehive shape. Like it's wide at the bottom and then arcs up to like a, Oh, cool. Thinner domed top. And there's a wooden old door pressed into one side and windows, three windows kind of like this side, the back and the other side. Yeah. Pretty. Yeah.

And a little worn trail in the grass that leads from the forest up to the rock and to the tower. Um, I just walk into it. Yeah. You come inside and it is a spare and dusty old living space. Like there's a wooden table that looks like it's seen better days. A couple shelves set into the stone stacked walls with like knickknacks here and there, but it's covered in a pretty significant layer of dust. Okay. Uh, discern realities. The shelves. Yeah. Wisdom. Eight. Eight. Okay.

So you get one question. Um, what here is useful or valuable to me? You are kind of just poking around doing your usual blind kid, like fumbling around, like what's this, what's that, what's this over here. And I'm on the shelf above what looks to be like an old destroyed, like bedroll or bed, something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah.

Corner you see a a circlet of woven sticks like small probably green branches when they were young were used to like form this kind of uh it looks like it was maybe big enough to be worn on someone's brow you're looking at it like oh cool a little little headband and then you notice in the whorls and twists and twigs and leaves uh long gone now of these uh woven branches are words in the ancient druid fairy language like the orientation of the sticks is used to write a word and it writes a name that you've seen before what is it iliana oh whoa holy fucking shit what and that's where we're gonna go next for this week I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz that's fucking wild playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers I'm stunned playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie this is exciting uh thank you to uh aaron reed for our intro and outro music stuns every time thank you to all of our patreon supporters around the world supporting us on patreon at patreon.com Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com money please uh where they get access to a whole bonus rpg campaign uh monthly streams we just recently did a stream where the four of us wandered around in the woods for an hour it was a blast uh we also play fiasco every other month a good five minutes of that stream was us struggling our way up a muddy slope so donate at the ten dollar level you can see you can see it all you can see it all donated to twenty dollar levels to help us get some real hiking shoes you can get art you can get merch you can get a whole bunch of fun shit so check that out and finally thank you to you all for listening we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spout more you

Hey, you guys having fun? We're having fun. If you want to support the show, go to patreon.com slash spoutlore and become a Patreon and get exclusive. You were so close that time. What do you mean? They're called Patreons. No, they're called Patreons, Paul. How? We didn't make the website, dude. Come on down to patreon.com. Okay. Hey, guys. Hey. Hi. Hey, are you enjoying the show? Hey, if you want to help support the show, hey, guys. Oh, my God. Keep going. Keep going. Hey, how's it going?

If you want to support the show, hey, are you having fun? He's taking it for no reason. If you're having fun, come on down to www.patreon.com slash spoutlore and become one of our Patreons. You get lots of exclusive membership bonus stuff. Yeah. Wow. You did it. That was worth it. Wow. Awesome. That was worth it. That was great. Thank you. Gather round, friends. Let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name.

You know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute. He knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great pride. Billy's a thief. His tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start.

Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spoutlore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian. Hello. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes, the battle was joined in the temple of the moon. Wrath and Ving squared off one-on-one. Wolf versus polar bear. Yep.

Well, no, first it was just a fight-fight until Ving took on the form of a moonlit Wolf-Man, pinning Wrath to the ground with his jaws, and then using the power of the! Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man.

Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. Wolf-Man. In an absolutely unbelievably effective stage battle where there was a lot of, oof, ah, ki-yai. There was a period of time where we were just kind of bouncing up and down and like pushing our fists into the air like we were dancing. Yeah. Billy was really overplaying the drama of the situation, which was the perfect distraction for his attempts to steal the Medjay text on the altar. Hell yeah.

Leaving an illusory copy in its place. So, Irk pretended to get knocked out. Billy went and freed Maggie and Perel with the aid of Tacoma Dome. And then Perel was given the Medjay text to study in an attempt to discover what Roth's plan was and if there was a way to stop it. Meanwhile, Maggie, Tuck, and Billy went and absolutely fucking wrecked house with a group of Medjay that had arrived. Tuck put his balls in some guy's face. Yeah, that guy got drenched in the trench, my friends.

He got pinched. Pinched in the gint. You got one more in you. He got… Dicked in the dick. There we go. Billy caught the attention of the mysterious sniper chasing him up the stairs and finding, as he grabbed a piece of this individual's clothing, a pouch full of the magic crystals that we had discovered in the past. Upon gathering this pouch, Billy was overcome with some sort of strong emotion. Mm-hmm.

Maggie and Billy continued the pursuit, Billy entering the fairy world briefly to attempt to catch up with this figure who, because of a failure, looked Billy right in the eyes with goggles that seemed to be made of the same blue crystal, said, Nice try, kid, and disappeared. That was fucked. Such a cool, like, young Indiana Jones moment, you know? Oh, yeah, totally! Yeah. Back in the chamber, uh, Roth…

Was overcome with, uh, near uncontrollable transformations thanks to Ving's spirit walker powers. And somewhat of a primal rage. Yeah, he began being filled with this animal rage as he swapped indiscriminately between forms, uh, Ving realizing that because he is not a druid druid, uh, he is without a tell, which makes him unable to process, kind of, uh, spirit power in the same way. Mm-hmm. Which would eventually kill him.

Uh, Ving's big move ended up being smashing the altar with Terry, Larry, and Chad Totally. To stop the ritual, which released some wave of spiritual turbulence, uh, causing Roth to begin losing control of the shape-shifting powers, becoming a chimera before your very eyes. And the same thing happened to Ving as the elements began to take over his body. Mm-hmm.

Something reached out to him, he reached back, and his body would, uh, body was filled with the purest moonlight, healing him of his previous tolls that nature exacted from him in his manipulation of the elements. That's so cool. And that is where we find ourselves now. Ving, uh, emanating the light of the full moon, Roth, writhing on the ground. Tuck is wearing sunglasses, looking directly at Ving. Whoa.

Uh, yeah, Billy's squinting his eyes, just getting a sunburn, basically, from how bright it is. Getting a sunburn from moonlight. That's how pale Billy is. That's how pale I am. Um, and Perel and Maggie, uh, are similarly just, like, mouth agape, staring at Ving, and Roth has fallen to his knees, shifting shape, uh, almost constantly, roiling like a, like a pot of stew. Oh, yeah. Like, his body changing constantly. As he just stares at Ving. Gross. Yeah, it doesn't feel good, for sure.

Tuck says, Tuck points and goes, gross. But Ving, you just look down, Roth is in agony. He's definitely losing control. Mm-hmm. And he very likely is dying. What do you do? Ah. He's got all of the animal forms. Mm-hmm. Um, Ving goes up to him, and he asks him, and he tells him, he's like, I can, I can take this away from you. I can help you. But you have to give it to me willing. Uh, 2d6 plus charisma. Nine. Seven to nine. Hmm.

What I'm basically offering him is to do what he did to me and stab all the different animals of the chimera to remove them from his soul. Yeah. But it would take away him dying, but then also his ability to shape shift. Mm-hmm. So he looks up at you. His, his chimeric form, uh, calms momentarily as he seems to come to terms with some decision and, uh, looks you in the eyes and says, I would rather die. Uh, Ving smiles a little bit and turns around and walks away. Mm.

I know that you guys wanted some information out of him. If you have a method that is not asking him politely, cause… Ving turns around and I'm thinking, I'm gonna do another thing. One more thing. Uh, you have moments before he… Can I try lightning in a bottle? Absolutely you can. Um, I go up to him and I hold his face in my hands. Um, I feel kind of bad for Roth. Mm-hmm. Um, very much consumed in his own, uh, thirst for power. Yeah.

Yeah, and I, I just, I hold his head between my hands and I watch his eyes. Yeah. And what do I see? Uh, you roll for it. Okay. I forgot to do that. A 10. Heck yeah. Okay, so that means that you can withdraw a memory and hold onto it indefinitely. So he kind of gives you the whole thing. Uh, you see a small boy that you determined to be Roth growing up on the streets of McCall. Oh no. Oh God. Not more of this. No empathy. Seeing… No empathy.

Seeing the people in the city that have power and how they wield it and the, the life that he led and the ways that people could use their power to help people and they decided not to and a hardening over time as he grew up, he got mean, he got vicious and did what he could to fight against people that had power and chose to abuse it. You see him like being, uh, welcomed and fed and clothed and trained by an elder Magi. It was that elder Magi, the guy who like tricked Ving into… Yeah. Yeah.

Into entering the chamber. Then Mike. Oh right. His name was Mike. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is, uh, you, the, you know, the viewer would recognize him as the same man. Um, you see him rise through the ranks as a cold hearted and ambitious person. Um, more recently I'd say within the last 10 years, uh, when he's like in his prime, uh, when he's like in his, uh, mid to late twenties, he is approached. You, this image seems, or this memory seems very significant to him.

He's approached by a kind of pale skinned older man, like wrinkles, kind of like jowly wearing a simple cloak and like a wide traveling hat and walking with a stick. And, um, he smiles very, very. He smiles very benevolently at Roth and he hands him a black coin with an eye carved in it. Whoa. And Roth's goals change from then on out. And he pursues the collection of power, like the removal of power from people and the hoarding of it.

And then you see events that are very familiar to you play out the fight in the lighthouse meeting Caroline. And, uh, right up to now. Oh man. Um, I'm I've obviously got Chamberlain's ring on, so tuck and Ving can see this play out. Um, I feel really bad for Roth. I'd like to stay with him while he dies. It doesn't take long. I want to make it easy for him to go. How do you do that? I put Paul sabotage right next to his head. I am Cork. And. And Billy pushes the bottle away. Not, not right now.

Billy has a memory of old bill taking care of Billy when he was sick. Um, and he would like brush his hair and rub his cheeks and all that stuff. And that's what Billy does for Roth. He like, you know, brushes Roth's hair, try to comfort him. That's cute. I speak to all the animal forms. That's what Ving does. He calms all the animal forms using, um, spirit. He's like, I'm going to go get some food. I'm going to go get some food. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed.

There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed. There's a ton of overexposed.

Who was that old man? Can I use my bardic lore? Gods and their servants. No. No, you can't. Histories? No. Legends of guitar heroes past? No. He's none of these? Not that you know of. Can I just Spout Lore then? Yeah. Okay. Six. Eight. Yeah, go ahead and roll 2d6 plus bond. Holy shit. 11. You should have spouted lore. Fuck. Like you're racking your brain. This isn't even a recalling of information. This is a connecting of dots. That man must be a member of the dark guard.

It's the only thing that makes sense. So can you describe him again? He was kind of pale. He was like white skinned, old. Jowly. Jowly. Seemed kind of kind, kind of benevolent and was wearing a simple traveling cloak, plain clothes, a wide brimmed hat. And carrying a stick. And Tuck remembers the song, the maiden and the thief, and that there was a character in it called the gibbous man. And it explicitly says like the gibbous man was waiting there in the waning light of night.

He told the thief quite peaceably he would not win this fight. It's like that like kind of like benevolent manner, like of like this like eldritch entity. Oh my goodness. And he's like, he's, he's kind of described as this wandering figure in the song. Even. Whoa. That's cool. Irk stumbled, stumbles to his feet and walks forward and sees Roth lying on the ground and nods to himself. He wasn't going to stop. What would do him justice? How would he like his body returned to the earth?

In the past, you know, the Medjai that have have died, have their final rights have always been of the elements. Yeah. And they're like, I'm going to burn him, bury him, freeze him, sink him in the sea. Whatever's easiest. Well, let's cut them up and do all of those just to be respectful. All right, here we go. Maybe it's not. Let's just burn him. Let's go up to the top of the keep and build a pyre. So you're going to take him to the top of the tower and just burn him. I think so.

I feel like that's the best way to kind of like send them off. Um, you want to search his body, right? Yeah. Let's let's steal anything that he's got on first. Let's go ahead and loot his body. Yeah. Let's take his corpse real quick. I don't want to have those coins with us, but he was given one. Oh fuck. Right. Does he have that coin that the Gibbous man gave him? Uh, he, yeah, he has it on him. Oh shit. Yeah. But he's just, he's just carrying it with him. Yeah.

I'll, I'll just take it and I'll put it with the rest of my coins. Yep. I mean, I think the thing is, is that I think, um, the Medjai were kind of like aesthetic, so he doesn't have a lot of possessions. Hmm. I think he got, you know, like some ornamentation in his hair. Oh, what is it? It's like one of braided into mine. I think it's, I think it's rings of different like, uh, kinds of stone, like different elemental pieces, but that's all he's really got. Okay. Or can I have these?

Whatever you want to do. I'm, I'm done with this. This is, this is over for me, so I don't care what you do with them. Thanks for keeping your promise. I'm really hoping that it. Ends up being worth it. What will you do now? I don't know. Sign on with a boat, see the world a little bit. Never really left my call. So this has been pretty exciting, but maybe I'll just take up fishing. I think I'm done with excitement for a while. And he kind of just awkwardly like waves like, well, uh, see ya.

Bye. Bye. Thanks for the book. Hey, happy to help. Hey, thanks for the book. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Thanks for magically binding me towards it. No. Hey, yeah. Yeah. Thanks for casting a, some kind of a freaky fairy spell on me was, uh, no problem. Yeah. I don't really know how to say bye.

People usually just leave and then I wait for them. Um, I'll see you another time. I'm so sorry. Yeah. I'll, I'll see you. I'll see you another time. Uh, actually, Hey, I never broke my promise. What happens now is our, I think I have the book, so I'm good. Is it complete? I guess so. Nothing's going to happen to you. I don't really know what would happen if, if you didn't. So Billy, he would have died. You made the promise. I would have died. I don't remember these things.

I, I live a busy life. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Bye. You're going to go alive. Thanks for holding your promise. Whatever. See ya. See ya at the pub. Yeah, maybe. Bye. Bye. Bye. And his voice carries up the stairs and he's gone. Man, we're really weird when people leave. I don't know what I'm doing. Hey guys, Perel is here. I said in the third person. Hey, what's up? Perel's here. Um, are there still people in this tower that want to kill us?

I feel like they would have all gotten too scared to leave. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like they would have all gotten too scared by all the spirit stuff that was going on. Yeah. There's been a, like I'm here of animals and elements. I don't know. Cool. Let's go then. Let's get out of here. Yeah. I pick up Roth's body so we can burn it. Okay.

Is there anywhere, can I discern realities just to see if there's maybe some legs around here? Oh right. Norman's legs. You're weirdly invested in me. Hey, he, a man asked him for a favor. Yeah. You can do something really cool that I could, we could give him as legs that would be, you know, obviously his legs aren't here. Who knows? You could discern realities and we'll say it's for the whole building. Okay, great. Plus wisdom. Nine. Nine. Could use a hand or a foot. Billy will help.

And just by also searching. Yeah. Uh, uh, seven. Whoa. So I, I'm just like wandering through the halls, just looking around, pretending I'm, oh, I'm going to be a little bit more of a, uh, a little bit more of a, uh, a little bit more of a, uh, uh, a little bit more of a, uh, a little bit more of a, uh, a little bit more of a, uh, a little kid. You know, I'm just like, okay, I'm going to come around pretending I'm a lost kid. Yeah. It's, it's odd. Everybody left.

It seems whatever the captain's council clearly wasn't here. Uh, the Medhi got them to leave and the Medhi that survived have escaped. Um, so they're in the wind. Um, some perhaps literally at this point it's like wandering around in middle school, like during summer vacation. Totally. Um, so you get three questions. Uh, what here is most like legs. Okay. Useful to me. Uh, maybe there's like a.

Exhibit like a dinosaur bone oh yeah we found these other legs some other beasts anthropology room yeah yeah that's from the light guard days I would say that there probably is like a um an exhibit of sorts that is like stuff that the pirates have captured over time like different captains having little displays so you do find like there are two displays that have like different wooden legs like a peg leg and a more like articulated wooden leg um you could return these to norman for sure you're not sure that his actual human physical legs are in this building anymore that's fine I'll take those legs okay great uh ving takes some legs and you got two more questions what's about to happen you look out one of the windows like one of the um kind of arrow slit windows higher up and towards the town and you can hear like clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang and it looks like maybe people are gathering to come see what was going on.

Oh. It's clear that whatever disturbance was taking place here also affected the town somehow. Oh, shit. Plus there's a huge fire on the roof. True. I bet word got out. Right. We should maybe slink away from here and pretend we weren't involved in this. Let's get out of here. Yeah. You got one more question if you want it. And there is like a tower full of stuff that you could pilfer if you chose to. Do we want to pilfer? Guys, how are you feeling? We'll just get the hell out of here.

I feel like we can just get the fuck out of here. Yeah. There's only one thing I want and it's not here, I guess. What do you want? Revenge? Yeah, revenge. Thank you, Bing. I feel like no one understands me sometimes, but Bing, you always get me. You've got to have revenge eyebrows right now, Billy. Thank you. Let's get out of here. Yeah. So you can, there is time for you to just like to slip out a side entrance. Okay. You've got Perel and Maggie. You kind of got to support them on the way out.

Tuck is carrying Perel like a little baby. He's got his arms wrapped around. Your neck. Thank you so much, Tuck, for carrying me out of here. That's okay. And then Tuck, there's like a scene where he like kicks open the front doors of the keep and then music swells behind him as he like runs out of the burning keep with Perel. At one point he lets go and Perel's still just hanging there because he's holding on so tight. Are you just like outside the keep, like in an alley or something?

We're in the bushes. We're in the bushes. We're back in the bushes. And Norman's like, how'd it go? We got your legs. We got you some legs. Oh, look at these things. And he starts popping off his own legs and putting the new ones on. They're totally mismatched. Different heights and everything. He's just like, this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. Thank you so much. Oh man, you should see the effigy carved in stone in the keep. It's incredible. You were there.

You always will have been. Oh my God. And he stands up out of the bush. On his new legs. Just like, my life's work is done. Farewell. And he steps forward onto the shorter leg and falls right on his face. And does a bobbing walk off towards the town. And then I turned to these guys. I was like, we might've actually just framed Norman for everything that happened in there. Oh, he's fine. That wasn't our purpose from the beginning. Okay. And yeah, the question is, where to?

So Maggie is like, all right, let's get back to the Clearwater and then we can gather. What Clearwater? The Clearwater's gone. What? Yeah. Caroline might've just sent it off. Or she might've sold it to the Pirates Council. Caroline. But, okay. She betrayed us. No, no, no. It was a fucked up situation. Do you guys want to explain it or should we cut forward 10 minutes? Okay. Yeah. We do explain it to her though. And that's what happened. And Maggie's got her head in her hands.

She's like, a demon this whole time? It seems like most of the time that somebody's bad, a demon's involved. Even Roth, demon. Was he a demon? No, he just had a coin with him. But Caroline, Corrine had one inside her body? Mm-hmm. Yeah. It seemed like it was kind of mediating. Yeah. And stabilizing the demon inside of her. Because when she ended up coughing it up, the demon tried to go into Ving. And now it's in here.

And he lifts up a half shirt he's been wearing to reveal like the shards of white coin in his chest. Whoa. Does it look fucked up? Well, I don't know. It's kind of cold. You should probably cover that up a little bit. He puts the kimono back on. It looks good on you. Thanks. I'm going to keep the kimono on that so people don't see what the fuck's going on under here. I like that. So where's Corrine? Do we just leave her behind? No. We left her at the clinic. Oh. She was vertog. Okay.

I think she's interested in picking up the thread and following it to where it's going. Oh. All right. Shall we? I suppose. And, you know, walk, walk, walk. There's a bunch of- Walk, walk, walk. Yeah. That's how you guys- Sound when you walk. We don't do that. We do it in secret. Walk, walk, walk. Walk, walk, walk. There's a bunch of commotion. Like, every once in a while, people be like, oh, my God. Did you hear what happened in the fort? As they, like, rush past you. Mm-hmm.

But you get to Vertog's clinic, and Vertog is there, and so is Corrine. And Maggie walks into the room ahead of all of you. Mm-hmm. And she enters the room that Corrine is resting in, and she just looks at her. Oh. Uh, hi. Uh, hi. And Corrine goes, hi. Oh, she doesn't remember her. And Maggie just goes like, can we just have a second? Uh, yeah. We'll try and find a boat to hire. Okay. Yeah, I'll see you guys in a minute. We need a second. And he sits down in a chair. And they both look at Ving.

I'll go. I'll get a boat. I'll help get a boat. You're right. I'm better on boats. Should we hop in? Oh. Oh.

Yeah yeah he probably probably there yeah uh so you guys go to the hound yep and um you are walking towards the hound and uh just as you're like it's it's a raucous place always especially with uh whatever's been going on there's a lot of excitement and uh you're going towards the door and you go to reach the door and there's a crash as a body is thrown through the window next to the door and captain ollie underdreyfus hits the ground and gets up and goes oh hey ollie what the fuck just happened uh just uh just a normal disagreement between old friends how was your uh infiltration yeah when uh went okay I would say and then you hear in the back clang clang clang clang fire burning oh yeah okay yeah so that was you cool and you hear a yell from scythe dry fish get back in here we're not done and he's like crabs just cool it I'm with my friends okay we'll finish this later uh you want to come in get a drink no we want you we need a boat now now now now now please um I mean there's the matter of payment yeah and I've got to resupply and I've got to pay my crew like I can't we gotta what are we looking at tomorrow morning when's as soon as you can get ready is it still night I think it's like dawn ish oh uh so tomorrow morning is in like an hour from now that'd be great I mean if you if you make it worth my while I could probably pull some strings I'm gonna need a little bit of uh cashola to grease some palms you know what I mean I don't have cashola yeah we kind of lost all of our money we gave it all away I'll give you this light crystal I think it's worth a lot he squints one eye holds it up to the light it's sunstone is it really yeah man this is light crystal I don't think this is sunstone that's sunstone dude are you trying to lie to him no I think it's actually sunstone why'd you write light crystal and not sunstone because that's we were kind of calling them maybe the magic crystals also gave off light oh so I think that's what this is okay I mean ollie holds the the blue crystal up to the light and sees how it glimmers and is like I could probably trick somebody into buying this oh cool sick yeah all right I'll uh I'll meet you outside in hour and a half yeah all right we'll meet you at your boat okay I'll see you later and uh thanks ollie he puts a foot on the windowsill and dives back into the other the other non-broken window and uh you leave him to his business uh okay so you've got like an hour and a half two hours before you uh go meet ollie back at the dock and head out yeah anything that you want to take care of or do we just jump ahead I want to talk to parell and you guys I guess about those that pouch of crystals oh yeah do you want to get a a table at the hand while we hash this out yeah billy I could use a snack I I could use a snack too thank you for thank you for always looking out for me I'm just hungry myself like weirdly hungry being is like weirdly very hungry yeah starving you enter the hound you see ollie uh is in a headlock and uh uh some kind of big burly dwarf is just hammering him in the face over and over he waves at you and you continue on to your table negotiations are going good yeah man that guy's got a lot of friends uh and it is the usual motley assortment of uh customers here at the hound people from all corners of the globe and you just grab a table augustine is there but um he seems really busy so he you're not in his section tonight uh so a who's the who's the server that's helping you today is it like a teenager I think it's someone who just started big lanky teenager hi yeah welcome to the hound thank you my name's gall I'm gonna be your server for tonight can I start you off with some drinks could I have a cup of water cup of whopper sorry what'd you say cup of whatever whatever he said that's what I said what else could I get a a roast pheasant uh yeah roast f e z okay uh sorry do you guys have clams clams um probably can I have one giant clam oh okay all right I'll see you tonight clam I'll take whatever clams you have left remaining clams billy just ordered all the clams okay uh so I got a cup of whopper a blasted pheasant one big ram and sundry clams I'll be right back sounds good thank you and he uh he turns around and takes half a step before slamming full on into another guy and goes sorry and then spins around him and he's like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be One of the rooms above.

I asked you all here with me today. I don't know why I'm being so formal about it. Continue, my kind sir. Just before you continue, Perel comes out of a door next to you and is like, they have karaoke here. Oh, that's cool. Did you guys already order? We did. It's okay. I got a lot of clams coming. Perfect. That's what I was going to get anyways was a lot of clams. Cool. I need to show you all this stuff that came off of that mysterious bandaged person. Oh, right. Oh, yeah.

That guy with that range weapon. Yeah. With the blue crystals. Secretly from everyone else in case they want to steal it, I dump out some crystals to show you. Oh, shit. These are the magic crystals, Billy. I thought so. I put one in my mouth. It tastes like licking a battery. Spicy. Spicy, hey? I also put one in my mouth. Your tongue is tingling for sure. Perel's like, stop putting them in your mouths. Why? I grabbed another one. Get them out of your mouth. I put it in my mouth.

I spit out like three of them. I take Perel's hand and put it in my mouth. Perel reaches into Tuck's mouth and takes the crystals out. Stop it. Stop it. They all have a different flavor. They do? No. Yeah, they do. I grab another one and put it in my mouth. Well, wait. What do they taste like? Well, and Perel's holding one and is just like, eat it. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. No. Oh, wow. They do. Is that asparagus? Huh. So, this person just had a pouch of these? Yeah. I don't know what for though.

And this, okay, this is the other thing. When I was in the shadow world, the person saw me. It was like they were wearing these glasses, their goggles or whatever, and it was like made out of the same stuff as this. Really? And they saw you? They saw me. How did you know they saw you? Because they said, nice try, kid. Whoa. What? That shouldn't be possible. I know. It's really rude. There's no, how would they, people haven't done this since the Exodus.

Like this shouldn't be, I haven't seen anything like this since my imprisonment. It's basically people that worked with magical materials to create advanced technology. So, he's like an engineer basically? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Defuser no you just have to know what you're doing but like the materials are so uncommon now that it's very unusual that someone would even have all of the materials they need to make stuff like this well it seems like they are now missing a large portion of something very valuable to them what was what do you remember about the the weapon that they carried um it was long and there was a button that they would press it made like a little horn sound too yeah like a tiny rock came out of it but came out really fast a rock was it like a blade no it was like oh it was like pointy like a rock it's like yeah it's a tiny little pointy flat sharp edged rock and it made a it made a noise yeah like a little honk was that what that noise was yeah was them firing this weapon I think so huh uh yeah you can roll something because he's basically like I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to think about this someone else did I fucked up the last Spout Lore okay I'll do it because it comes from the exodus so I can use my wisdom uh yep 2d6 plus wisdom eight nice perel says you know back in the day there were wizards or machinists that would use basically things like this more refined basically like magical magic like thalmic batteries to power objects or machines uh so maybe they figured out a way to use these crystals raw as they are to power whatever weapon they're using and also found a way to mill the crystals in a way that they can make lenses so then they can see into the other realms what I don't know I'd have to get a closer look at their godlike goggles but maybe they maybe there's parts in there that allow them to see things that aren't visible to normal perception I'm gonna have to think about it but um and he like piles them back into the bag and cinches it tight and is just gives back to billy and he's like keep those close and I'll take a look at them later but don't let anybody get those okay okay I've got the waiters scared the shit out of all of us a bunch of like okay I've got the waiters scared the shit out of all of us a bunch of like okay I've got the waiters scared the shit out of all of us a bunch of like crystals like fly in the air as I I spilled my whopper yeah he he says I got a glass of water and he gives you a water of a glass of what looks to be chicken stock uh he's got a blasted pheasant gives you a burger uh he got uh one big slam and he gives you like um giant t-bone steak a huge steak and he gives remaining clams and he gives billy a plate of clams thank you anything else I can get you can I have a fork oh oh my yeah I'm so sorry I'll be right back I'm so sorry can I have it now yes I'm sorry I just I feel really weird you can't be like this around serving staff I just I just I'm I'm used to being a monster physically and now it feels like it's moving on the inside right yeah pro's like bing how are you feeling you're and he like reaches out and grabs your hands like holds your hands in his hands and he's like look you're like I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry your hands your hands are so soft yeah of course they are I moisturize oh my god all right okay okay your hands are pretty soft too they're like brand new no they're not yeah bing is like he looks normal again he looks like season one vick now right yeah yeah you look normal nothing nothing wrong with normal but how do you feel somebody's looking at me like what are you looking at oh they just shrug at you all right fine I look at the bag of of crystals and I wonder like is it because of these hey the other thing about these crystals is it's like like it's like I can hear them kind of like when perel was evil and I could hear perel whoa what perel's eyes widen and he kind of scoots back a little bit goes what it's like it they talked to me or something what are they saying um they said I don't know like secret stuff like billy gets all embarrassed he's like I don't know they were just saying like maybe maybe you didn't respect me or like care about me when I was in a bad mood now and at first I was like believing it and then and then I realized like I'm not thinking that like these are telling me okay and then I I pick up billy and I give him a hug and I was like billy I trust you I trust you like to you hold on to these if you feel like you want to I'm scared that they're making ving mad they're not I'm sorry I've been through a lot okay I also trust you billy I hope that helps it does and you're not going to try like steal them in the night to try to become a wizard again no no I'm not okay and I turn to perel and I'm like is it possible that there is like part of your evil aspect in these polar or whatever he was called I don't I don't know I'll have to think about it but if these crystals are formed naturally the way they usually are it means that they were formed hundreds of years ago like normal crystals so it'd be pretty amazing if polar was able to influence them in any way okay well let us know if it happens again yeah definitely talk to us if you can if you can hear them again okay hmm okay I've got I brought forks and he dumps like 20 forks on the table hey goal yeah you're doing a great job thank thank you that really that really means a lot to me you're a very good waiter I can tell that you haven't been doing this very long I haven't my dad's on this place and they uh really wanted me to get a job but I just want to be I just want to paint but I need to work to buy paint uh and um my voice started doing this recently and it's really stressing out it sounds cool what yeah really yeah I've never heard anyone sound like you thank you uh if you need anything just shout and he uh trips over his own shoes and lands on his stomach and uh kind of belly crawls away um so you guys can just you know unless there's anything else you want to take care of in the hound you know we can jump forward yeah to the dock side um and you are standing next to captain olyander drive okay billy filled a to-go bag with all the clam shells just the shells yeah because I ate the clams and the seagulls are going nuts there's like 15 seagulls flying above billy I'm trying to build a little like like shell castle I'm swatting the seagulls away like stop it just wait till I'm done and they picked billy up a few times so tuck is like actively trying to get them out of there so that they don't see him and they're like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry steal his kit yeah what's you drop him right now make us make us make us uh and uh oly is got like you know bags of shit over his shoulders that he's throwing to um currently nameless crewmen on board who are taking it below decks and uh maggie and kareen come walking down the the uh the jetty kareen is walking slowly definitely kind of limping a little bit she's got a new traveling cloak on it's thick and it's got like a big fur rough around the collar and maggie has all her shit uh such as it is which is not very much she is she bought a coat too but she doesn't have her weapons she doesn't have much of anything and they uh stop next to you and maggie puts her hand on kareen's shoulder and goes we've uh you know smooth things over so to speak uh got to know each other a little bit and kareen would like to um well you can and she gestures kareen forward and she goes I'd uh I think I'd really like to come with you if that's okay yeah hell yeah we'd love to have you okay I don't know how much use I'm gonna be um it's been a long time we don't really have that much use we just kind of get things done without a lot of use so I bet you'll find your use all right uh well thank you for everything and she heads up on board and perel comes walking down the deck he obviously went shopping a little bit uh before he came he's got a he's got a sun hat on and uh surprisingly practical clothing who is this they wow they have like no finery for sale on this whole island I swear it's like one big barksburg warehouse I don't know what I thought pirates were flashy I don't know what the deal is this is depressing and he just goes up on the deck and he's like I don't know what the deal is and ollie hops down onto the jetty and he's like all right I think we're uh pretty much loaded up ready to go all right I leave my my shell castle for the seagulls and they immediately dive bomb it and shells go everywhere um yeah what is the name of ollie's ship I was just I thought of a name and I was like that is definitely the name of like a divorced uncle's boat what uh the sun runner oh yeah that's oh yeah um yeah okay so the boat's called the sun runner yeah cool it's much more expensive than the uh clear water but it's fast as hell sick um this guy is is han solo in a lot of ways his ship is kind of a piece of shit but it's got it where it counts and it's so fast it's awesome there's like a big couch several big couches like all over the deck there's so many couches you go down you go down underneath and there's like a heavy bag for boxing there's like a bunch of posters of scantily clad folks on the walls there's a pinball machine yeah all those beer bottles yeah I don't know what's going on here I don't know what's going on here I don't know they're like on a coat rack to make like a little trees like you know I like to keep it a little festive a little fun it's nice yeah those neon lights yeah they are it's worm glass I got it in mccall and he uh taps it and it says uh budweiser what do you think that's cool pretty cool who's bud oh there's a little friend of mine my old bud nice yeah anyway where are we going I mean I guess we're really going for the frozen north but were we gonna try hibernia I can't remember um okay ollie's spread out a chart and he's like all right so we're here and he puts his finger on the four frost islands and we gotta go here and he points to like um a big peninsula in the north and he's like so this is where the thing that you're looking for is oh yeah that glacier yeah okay uh well uh fun fact and he kind of drags his finger down to uh a pretty solid rectangle that's like in between he's like this is the wall of fog we're gonna have to go through this if we want to get there shit have you ever done that before um yeah it's scary for sure uh sunrunner's pretty fast so we've outrun a couple things didn't really get a good look at them glad we're as fast as we are but um it's gonna be eventful if we gotta go there is there any other route we could take yeah we could technically go this way and he like um takes his finger up the coast to a bunch of like inlets and channels that seem to create uh some kind of way around he's like but that's gonna take way longer okay are you on any kind of time crunch kind of then it's probably the wall of fog all right well if all it is I mean I figured we'd probably be heading towards it yeah uh do you guys have uh like cold weather clothing because it's gonna get fucking cold billy looks down at himself tuck's got a kimono yeah I'm all I'm good I'll uh I'll see what I have we'll figure out something okay whatever man just use a lot of blankets uh I got a bunch of old fleece blankets in a pile you can use yeah billy's already like rifling through the blankets yeah this will fit this will fit this will fit oh my god um okay so I guess I mean I we could do undertake a perilous journey yeah okay so someone is going to roll uh scout ahead and someone is going to roll undertake a perilous journey are you okay ving yeah I'm fine I'm totally normal just like everyone else normal normal ving glad to not be having everyone's eyes on me he's like a the reality uh a tv star who went into an alternate universe while he wasn't on a reality tv show and now he's like kind of like being like I liked everyone thinking I was a freak I'm gonna say vings may be a little too overcome with his new change to take part in any of these shows I'm gonna say ving's maybe a little too overcome with these roles no I'll do the role I'll scout ahead or whatever okay so yeah you can roll scout ahead it's uh and someone's gonna have to roll um navigate I'll do them both uh no just do the one you're just gonna do the one I'll uh I I mean I shouldn't help now I don't know what I'm doing I'll navigate we're going north I know the way oh right yeah and billy you scout most sure best I scout really well okay so scout is 2d6 plus wisdom and I'm gonna do the one I'm gonna do the one I'm gonna do the one I'm gonna do the one I'm gonna do the one I'm gonna do the one I'm gonna do the one navigate is 2d6 plus intelligence nice I got five plus wisdom seven shit uh okay so on a seven to nine for scout ahead choose one from the list below you get the drop on whatever lies ahead you discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain a shortcut shelter or tactical advantage you make a capital d discovery you notice sign of a nearby capital d danger I think a discovery would be fun okay so you set sail and you are um the sky's gray it's cold it's snowing you know like usual um and a few hours pass ollie is at the wheel of the sunrunner uh what's everybody just doing while they're hanging out um billy is like burritoed up in some of the blankets and he's just like chilling on one of the couches up on the deck mm-hmm watching out nice yeah yeah that's great you're reading one of the maximum magazines yeah looking at a lot of pictures not really understanding what he's looking at completely yeah so many times we have like taken the magazines away from billy but he finds more somehow I always find them and all he's like hey it's not it's just maxim there's no nipples it's okay and what they don't know is billy's just looking at the food ad I love the full note wow we say hey it's just a hot dog yeah it's just a hot dog that gets long and it's just a hot dog that gets long and it's just a hot dog that gets longer and longer it's an ad for the hot dog festival that happened two years ago wow um what what are tucking being up to um tuck had actually pulled ving aside to like check in on him because he's been kind of off since he like became a christ-like figure in the chamber of the moon or whatever what of it it's like dude I mean like you you went through like a huge transformation you look totally different yeah and you've been acting like kind of upset I guess but yeah yep yeah I feel like I lost myself a little bit I really got tucked into feeling like a freak I guess like you liked it I don't know if I liked it but I I knew why I was what what it was but right now I don't know what I am right it was like all of your scars was I accepted all those uh I accepted paying nature's price so many times over and I knew why I was doing it I don't know why I am like I am or what I am right now I'm glowing like turn the light off close the door all right I turn the light off and close the door I look like a gin and tonic at a nightclub this is fucked up thing is glowing yeah it's weird give me the knife okay and I hand the fuck is the knife cut to billy billy's using the the knife to cut out the food ads from the magazine and he's making a little like like a dinner plate a little collage like a vision board yeah oh dinner when I get to a hotel or a restaurant I'm like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like this is what I'm gonna eat and that is gonna be spaghetti and meatballs and also this protein shake and this egg it's not even a cooked egg it's just an egg in the shell it's like an article cut in the shape of an egg look for for dessert a bunch of chicken drumsticks and ice cream drumsticks yum and there's two random sailors watching this happen yeah and they're both uh we got a we got a skinny guy fat guy configuration and they're both like yeah that sounds pretty good doesn't it yeah that sounds pretty good to me too let's talk about those drumsticks more well they're really crispy and no the ice cream ones the ice cream ones yeah they're crispy too they're crispy because look at it it has a chocolate shell on it and then you can add coconut sprinkles on top damn and then when you're thirsty you drink milk kid you are out of your mind I know I know but then you go really crazy and you add the ox blood and they both look at each other and go oh can you imagine I can't even imagine it's been like six months since I've been to a restaurant like that and then you can get some clams oh I just pull out some clams from clam shells from my pocket oh the shells okay and then cut forward another 10 minutes and there's a group of 10 guys just watching billy describe food 25 sequels circling above him and think about it like this when you add them all up in a sandwich form how quickly you can eat it also the many levels of flavors that you can combine oh my god kid you're a fucking genius thank you and uh we got we cut back skinny guy food and we're gonna go to the next one and we're gonna go to the next one and we're gonna go to the next one fat guy are in the crowd and fat guy grabs skinny guy by the front of the shirt and points at his face and goes one day teddy we're gonna go to a restaurant just like that just like that man he's like you mean it's like I mean it and they both hug each other and they're sobbing then we come back downstairs and then yeah tucks just patting his pockets I think billy took the knife oh billy must have it anyways I don't I don't know thanks for checking it look dude I understand I understand that That, like, your scars and, like, the way that you kind of, like, paid for your powers was, like, a big part of, like, your identity and how you thought about yourself.

That's how everybody saw me. I mean, it's not how Billy and I saw you. No? We saw what was in here. And he points… He points at Ving's chest, but he resists the urge to point at his crotch. You can see his hand shaking. And he grabs his wrist with, like, the other hand to stabilize it. Ving grabs his hands and starts, like, pulling it down to his dick. Don't you dare do this! Boop. Pokes him in the dick. I hear what you're saying.

Look, the fact that you don't hold the scars anymore doesn't change the sacrifices that you've made in the past. And the fact that you don't have them anymore doesn't change how Billy and I see you. You're still the same guy. You're still my wife. Kind of. You're still the man I married, kind of. Billy's still the son that we squeezed out of our butts or whatever. Did you guys hear that? What? It's the sound of a thousand shippers crying out in elation. Tuck calling Ving his wife. We did it!

We did it, everybody! He just touched his dick! Tuck is like, Okay, look. I wanted to check in to make sure you were okay. Like, also physically. Like, that you were okay. Like, that you weren't, like, dying or anything. I don't know. I do feel different. I'm hungry all the time. Okay, I have to tell you something. Uh-huh. Kind of fucked up. Okay. That happened before we left McCall. Yeah? Um, I talked to Ama at the party to try and get him to, like, look at me and see what I was again.

And he couldn't see anything. But he tried to look… Into my future. And, uh, he gave me a prophecy that I was gonna die. What do you mean? He said, It will end for you beneath a burning tree. And the last thing you say will be a lie. Tuck, he… You're not gonna die. You're too strong. You can't die. Look, dude. We don't talk about it. But we always knew that I was gonna go first. You're an elf. Billy's forever. But I'm gonna go first. So I have to know, when I go, that you've got Billy.

Well, I… I will always… Be there for him. And… I will always be there for you. Even if you're not there. Oh. Oh. Not to cry. My bad. Just let it out, man. I'm fine. I'm so hungry. Billy's up there talking about drumsticks and shit. I can hear him. He's talking so loud. He's basically immediately above us. Yeah. I have to talk loud because there's a group of 20 now. This boat is not that big. But somehow there's 20 people. Another boat is pulled up alongside.

There's guys climbed up into the rigging. My God. A meal fit for a king. I feel like the idea of Billy's become an orator of food. And I go, also, there's another thing. You know how like Billy forgets stuff? Mm-hmm. I think eventually he probably will forget me. And I want you to make me a promise that when he forgets me, you'll let him forget me. Sorry. No, that's really sad. Because he has to. He's too little. That's a lot of feelings. It's a lot of stuff he has to not remember.

Eventually he has to forget me. Tucky doesn't have to forget you while I'm still around. Those feelings are okay for him to have. And he needs to know that too. He can forget in his own time, but he won't forget you while I'm still around. Okay, how about this? Just tell him stories about me. Not that I was his dad. Not that I was, I traveled with you guys. But just tell him the stories of what we did together. Okay. I can do that. It'll be very hard.

I guess that's that's your scar to carry, man. It's your price to pay. Fuck. Brutal. We cut back up top. Billy, the crowd is dispersed. You're just dreaming about the big sandwich that you thought of. I'm just dreaming about the sandwich. The sandwich? Yeah. Well, you're thinking about the sandwich. Oh, yeah. Daydreaming as you're looking with your binoculars out into the misty day. You've been traveling for hours and hours now.

The sun is high in the sky, but it's still just as gray as it's been since you set sail. Except in the distance, now, just over the horizon, you see smoke. I wander up to Oleander. Hey, kid, what's going on? There's some smoke up ahead. Oh, what? Yeah, take a look. He reaches down and pulls out an actual spyglass. He sees you holding your hand, hands up to him and goes, okay. And he grabs the spyglass that he has and he unfurls it and he puts it up to his eye and goes, oh, yeah.

Ooh, that's a lot of smoke. Where is it coming from? And he looks closer as the ship sails a little bit closer and he goes, I think it's a village. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I see buildings. Oh, no. Are we near a place? He looks at the chart that he keeps next to the wheel and he looks at the map and he looks at the map and he looks at the map and he points at an island that has no name. Okay. But he's like, yeah, I guess it's not named on the map, but I guess people live out here.

Maybe go get the other two. Okay. I've got the blanket. I get out of the blanket. I'm too burritoed up. And this is an emergency. Okay. So I go downstairs to where Tuck and Ving are. Hey. Hey, why are you crying? We're not. What are you talking about? You're crying. You're crying. You're crying. I'm not crying. You're crying. No, there's cats down here or something. Really? Okay. Later, tell me where the cat went. Okay.

So I came to tell you that there, I saw some smoke and it looks like there's a village burning. We're near land. Oh, fuck. What? We might have to stop and look at it. Okay. And Maggie is… Sorry. That was the worst. No. No, that's perfect. That's exactly what the kid would say. Do you want to do it again? Yeah. Okay. Do it again. I think Oleander wants to take a stop there. Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah. That's bad. Also. What? What? No, that makes sense. What? Do it again. One more time.

I don't know what to say. This is how many times Billy has said it. Yeah. Try it one more time, buddy. No. We believe in you. No. I don't want to say it anymore. What don't you want to say? I don't want to say that we have to take a break. We have to take a look at the burning village because it feels stupid. So come up when you want to. You go back above deck and Oleander is standing there with Maggie and he looks at the three of you and says, we have to take a look at the burning village. See?

And he goes, you know, out here, it's always good to stop and look for salvage. You know, it sounds a little cold hearted, but if there's anything, there we can use, we should grab it. Yeah, man, we're totally down with grave robbing. Oh, sick. Okay, perfect. Yeah, we're going to go rob some graves. And if there are people there that need help, we can help them too.

So you get closer to the village and it is like a piece of shit rock, basically with like some grass, but mostly just a small collection of really shabby buildings with like a crappy jetty and some boats. Nothing is actively like on fire on fire, but there's a lot of smoldering. It looks like the snow has gone a long way to putting stuff out, but some of the buildings look like they're caved in and you see lumps, even from this distance that look like bodies. Under snow? Fuck.

Yeah, under like a layer of snow and Ollie drops anchor and is like, all right, who's, you guys want to come? Oh, yeah. I'll maybe hang back with Billy. Sure. Okay. Maggie goes, I'll come with you and Corinne's like, yeah, I'll come too. And Perilla's like, no thanks. Yeah. And I go, Billy, Billy, show me this feast that you made. Okay. It's a lot. So get ready. There's 44 courses. And it's all a sandwich. So we start at the bottom here. Course one, bread.

And Tuck is kind of just trying to distract Billy from like whatever fucked up thing is going on just in case it's too fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, totally. So Ving, you hop in a little boat and they row ashore and you step foot on this rock in the middle of the ocean. And yeah, you see what I described just a little bit closer. There are buildings. Most of them are destroyed. Some of them are smoldering and it seems like there are bodies of some fashion under the snow. Everybody's dead.

No one's alive that you can see. Discern realities. All right. 2d6 plus wisdom. Nine. Perfect. You get one question. What here is useful to me? What happened here recently? There we go. That makes more sense. I thought we were here to rob some graves, motherfucker. Yeah. Every like Ollie, Maggie and Kareem start like picking around. Ollie like nudges a body with his foot and goes, fuck, what happened here? And there are several human bodies. Some holding weights. Some holding weapons.

Um, mostly men and women of like adult age. Uh, but not as many as the buildings would suggest, which makes you think that either some people were taken or, uh, some people escaped. Hmm. But a couple of the other bodies, uh, strike you as extremely unusual. Uh, there's one that is much larger than the human bodies, uh, also covered in a layer of snow and another that is smaller, but of a very strange, uh, shape. Hmm. Let me check them out. Yeah.

So you, um, go and you wipe the snow off and it is, uh, a leopard seal. Hmm. And you wipe the snow off the other one and it's a sea lion and they have both died in a fight. It looks like what the heck didn't you have a vision of this? No. Did I, uh, you had a vision a while ago of jaws and dark eyes, uh, and the wall of fog. Yeah. The wall of fog. Oh shit. About the thing that travels in the fog. Wait. So are there any humans?

Yeah, there's a, there are humans, but it looks like they died fighting the animals. Sea mammals. Yeah. Is there tracks? Can I see tracks? Uh, you can see some tracks. There are boots here and there. You're looking at the tracks and you see a combination of, uh, human and sea mammal tracks. Uh, and then you're tracking one particular group of people that looked like they were just torn apart and the way that you're like able to track the movement and how things went down.

It looks like one particularly large animal was responsible for this whole group of people. And as you're following the tracks back to the ocean, they transition from huge flippers to large human footprints. Whoa. Hmm. Billy and tuck from the boat. Uh, in the distance you hear horns and that's where we're going to end it for this week. Oh God. Whoa. I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma dome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz.

So long playing Ving, the half elf Druid, Paul offers, take care and playing fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica tie. Bye everyone. Uh, thank you as always to Aaron Reed for our incredible intro and outro music. Uh, thank you to all of our amazing Patrion supporters around the world. You can support us on patrion at patrion.com slash spelt Lord or at spelt Lord.com. Uh, and you can find us on the internet at spelt Lord. Most places. Thank you to all of you for listening.

We'll see you next time. And so when's the tale of adventures three, who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost baby for time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be long, we'll be back when we're back. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you liked it, please subscribe to our channel and hit the bell button. I'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. We will not leave.

Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly spout more

Uh if you like spout more no wait is this me or if you like Spout Lore and you want to hear more of it go to patreon.com Spout Lore and maybe if you give them enough money they'll release me and we can see each other again I've been in this bar for years save me gather around friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tuck is the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight this is a story of two heroes a brute a thief and a thief who is but nine years old Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz. Hello everybody. Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers. Good day. And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai. Hello everyone. When last we left our heroes. You alright? Yeah I just puked a little bit in my mouth. Awesome. I drank too much coffee. No you drank the right amount of coffee in three seconds. Yeah Paul casually mentioned that Abdul looked kind of tired.

So Abdul looked Paul in the face. And slammed an entire Americano in one go. 14 ounces like it was nothing. Quad shot. He's gonna die. He's gonna die. He's gonna barf on Mike. When last we left our heroes. The infiltration of the Lightguard Fort. Containing hopefully Maggie and Perel had begun in earnest. Tuck began the day slash episode by absolutely slapping the shit out of a magi. And then they swiftly forgot about the fact. That they were here for Maggie and Perel.

And started investigating the room they were in. If you found like what is basically a movie theater. When when you forget to. That you direct with your hands. Yeah after some prompting from the players. We discovered a secret chamber beneath the room. They were in hidden beneath a descending floor. Containing some kind of reliquary of the light guard. Including chipped and faded paintings on the wall. That once a fire was lit in the brazier in the center. Became. A moving portrait of sorts.

And seems to tell the tale of Lillian's war. AKA the grieving. It depicted the blood moon. The shattering pieces of that moon falling to the earth in various spots. So cool. Which led us to the discovery that perhaps the four frost isles. Are part of a fragment of the moon or contain a fragment of the moon. Through that. We then swiftly connected. Some dots thinking. Oh man. Maybe they want to chain the spirit of the moon. Maybe that's why they needed things power and the knife.

And maybe that's why they've drawn you here with Maggie and Perel acting as bait to get you into a trap. Shit. What else do we find? We found a shard of a mirror a gigantic mirror. Mm-hmm. A huge piece that seems to when you look in it. Show you an image of a room buried in sand with shafts of light coming down through the ceiling. It's got some kind of magical signature. Yeah. Hmm. It belonged to a Macallan wizard at some point. Right. What was the other thing we learned?

We learned a bunch of little stuff. A bunch of little things looking at the painting. Yeah, the painting was another version of the the breaking of the chain. The breaking of the chains, which is the painting from Aquarius study. Yes, which depicted from what we could tell the wizard war, but this version depicted the grieving. Mm-hmm. Which makes you think maybe the breaking of the chains was based upon an older painting. Oh, I like that a lot.

Like it still does depict the wizard war, but it was based on an older painting. Like finding a Sistine Chapel, but with like cave people or something. Exactly. Like their fingers are pointing each other. Hey. Yeah. Exactly. They're wearing like hides and poking each other with bones. Poking each other with bones. Yeah. We learned that in this room or maybe in this place, the waning knife gives off a bright light because we knew before that it reflected in certain angles. The light of the moon.

The light of the moon without giving off. Actual visible light, but for some reason now it glows brightly. Yeah, then you guys decided to go up guns blazing and just rose into the chamber above you pop to cork on a sabotage bottle. Mm-hmm. Got ready to fight. Yeah, nobody had some time to prepare an ambush and instead carved storm and Norman was here into the wall. It's like I carved effigy of storm and Norman into the wall full on portrait. Like he's dead like it was an in memoriam.

It's beautiful. Mm-hmm. It's like when you go to the bathroom. You go to the beach and they're having those sandcastle competition. Yeah, he's like leaning against the wall. I took the wall back like four feet left him like leaning there like it's amazing. And then while you were arguing about whether to go up or down and whether you needed to go in or to get out or get up to get down or whatever the fuck you were surprised by a guard, but then you beat ass for a while.

Mm-hmm billion Ving took down four people tuck took down one guy and scared the others off and after questioning. Yeah. One of the surviving guards you descended into some sort of ancient Moon Temple to find Maggie chain to a pillar. I still a stalactite Perel unconscious also chain to a pillar an altar in the center of the room with a skin over top of it a group of terrified Pirates. It's irk the Magi and Roth. Oh, and that is where we find our heroes. Now.

How the fuck did you get out of the library Roth? Ha. He laughs villainously. What's funny about that? You think your pathetic library could hold me? Yeah, I did. I don't know. We assume that when we left and that was your error. What are you doing here? I believe you have something that belongs to me. Ving starts messing with his belt. Give me the knife submit to me and this will all be over soon. Oh, he's like, oh, I think I have it right here under one of his pocket flaps.

It flips on the bird. It's like no thing for real. No, for real. We do have it and then tuck takes off his backpack and he puts it in and then he takes it out and he's doing the shocker. Billy's like no, they gave it to me to hold and then he pats around his tummy and then does like the upside down bird hands on his face. And Maggie starts laughing so hard. We look like. We look like idiots. And Roth goes enough. Don't make this any worse than it has to be. And we're all doing the bird.

I face this and things are doing this. What's it have to be? And he draws back his hand and he fires a bolt of pure flame directly at being being steps in front of the kids. Oh, right. I forgot your walks towards him as he's shooting fire. All right. That sounds like a fight with honor. He's really pissed me off. Eight. So we get to okay to Chi. Yeah, the fight begins.

Basically being starts striding towards Roth who begins punching bursts of flame at him as the three remaining pirates decide whether or not to attack Billy. I sidle along the walls towards the pirates and I'm just going to try to talk to them. Oh, you're just going to try and talk to him. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Roll a defy danger charisma to get them to talk to you. Eight. Okay. So it's going to work kind of but not really. What do you say to these guys?

I guarantee you don't want to be here for this. They're like, but you guys are between them in the door basically and they're like looking behind you at the door. Like we we have to. And tuck. And tuck like stretches and like pops every muscle. It's weird to look at. It sounds like it and I guess he's either doing war cry or what are you waiting for? It sounds like war cry. Billy has basically stopped them from attacking for a moment.

So you guys can further convince them to get the fuck out of here. Yeah. So go ahead and roll. What is it? Two D six plus Constitution. Nope. Plus charisma. Four cry. Nine. Okay. And Billy's aiding. True. Yeah. Billy roll two D six plus bond. Six. Oh my God. That's okay. I could. I'll use a fairy child to turn a failed roll into a seven to nine. Fun. Oh, right. Yeah. Okay. So take one away and Billy's like ambient fairy energy lights tucks body in a way that makes him look even more shredded.

It is. It is. It looks like I'm in a cut phase, which I'm definitely not. I'm still in a book face and they all just kind of look in terror at both of you and then break and try and run around you to the door and tuck leg as they're running by him goes to scare. Yeah. And start dude seriously.

And start dude seriously we're already leaving they drop all their weapons and they sprint up the stairs I grab some of their weapons hell yeah not a crayon uh and uh ving you get within striking distance of roth as he he's backing up but you close the distance quick enough he wasn't expecting you to walk through the fire okay on this last boat of fire I use elemental form to transmute my body into a form made from the raw element so I let his fire encompass me into a fire suit oh fuck yeah and I'll use mid nature's fury his own fire against him and um hack and slash um kick side into his chest it's wild how fucked like an elementalist is against you right now yeah totally oh I I have fight with honor so I have two of those so I could just deal my damage to a foe within reach five five yeah so how do you hit him I I sidekick like slow matrix style like yeah with my leg staying up in the on the air yeah so you can and he reels back flame arcing up towards the ceiling and uh gains his footing and prepares for another strike tuck and billy irk is there he's in a stance and he's like just looking at you not sure what to do I was thinking it would be maybe funny if we rushed him and pretended to yeah that's what I was thinking but like talk to him at the same time yeah and so like tuck and billy look at each other with their eyebrows up like and we wink loudly at each other you guys hear the like our eyes make a blink sound that's the sound that irks I makes he winks back okay so one of you roll a defy danger I guess both of you defy your charisma here we go whoa shit 13 god six can I aid billy because we're at the same time so yeah yeah here we go at nine okay so how do you aid me uh by doing a stage whisper being like we're gonna pretend to fight two two three three three three two two here we go because roth is distracted oh yeah totally he's he's fully fighting ving right now so you guys rush irk and start pretend fighting him yeah okay so as you're running at him he starts punching and kicking forward and you feel no you feel gusts of air whip past your head but like he's missing you and as it's happening Tuck's going ow oh so Tuck's doing it convincingly pretending to fall and Billy's doing it less convincingly Billy is reeling back at like the wrong time like his timing is off he's really slow and then he's doing too much acting so he's saying things like my fair rosy skin how blemished it has become and bruised you know I bruise like a little peach owie I hit my toe I am slain and every once in a while your hair and clothes go like poof as Urk hits you with a puff of air to try and make it look believable so you get close and you're now like hand to hand fighting quote unquote and what are you saying to Urk dude what the fuck's going on what do you mean like the thing what the fuck is happening here he's honestly told me like so little where is the book what do you mean where's the book you were supposed to get me that book it's right there oh that's the book and he kind of like turns and does a punch towards the altar at the skin oh the skin is the book it's got a book it's a text that's the text oh and what about that note you left me what do you mean note the one under the bed that's the only one you found where are the others what do they say I said I left like a dozen oh my god so can I steal the book really slowly I mean I don't know if you could should I steal the book I say to Tuck and I'm like why did we want the book again I don't remember to find out the secrets of the magi right yeah true and all it says from fighting across the room it's together and then I'm like yeah also probably without it like Roth can't do whatever the fucked up thing he's trying to do here at this point the fight has become not believable and we're just punching in the air and we're dancing next to each other he's doing it too I will say that Roth will recognize what you're doing eventually but in the meantime he slides back from Ving's devastating sidekick and does a little spin to kind of get his momentum going and comes up with a new move with his heel and a back kick and as he kicks at the altar a slice of rock snaps off of the altar like a saw blade and whips through the air towards you what do you do can I block it somehow yeah you could roll like a defend or defy danger dexterity to like dodge out of the way constitution to take the hit lots of stuff okay I'm gonna try and use my harpoon that's been on my back and try and like ping it up yeah and I want to try and recover it and use the blade against him oh totally yeah give me a defy danger dexterity to kind of angle the staff right or the harpoon 10 perfect so you like bullet time style the rock slices through the air you knock it out of the way it continues past you and you've I reach behind me and grab it as it's flying past me like blindly grab it yeah you've got time to like manipulate the elements yourself I grab it I bring it back I crush it and then I elongate it into a spear and put it in my mouth and put it on my harpoon and then go with the spear so fucking sick and because it's an element that I've attached to the spear I get to use my things your d10 yes three you still have to roll hack and slash I can't wait or you can spend one of your fight with honor 10 hack and slash okay yeah now you deal your damage for sure okay for sure one so okay here's how I imagine this happening the stone blade starts to roll the circle blade like whips past you you reach behind you but like in a spin behind you to continue your momentum crush it it elongates the spike on your harpoon yeah which you stab towards Roth and it comes towards his chest and he's got both of his arms bent at a 90 degree angle and he just snaps the blade off oh cool cool cool yeah I see that I'm like shit damn but you do still like one damage like shards of blood one damage like shards of blood shards of the rock still slice into his flesh oh sick oh so there's an opening into his flesh there is an opening into his flesh he's actually got many openings into his flesh he's got two on his face one below his nose one in his butt yeah keep going one in his pee hole two in his deer pant has so we'll cut back to uh tuck and billy fighting quote unquote irk what's the plan here um I okay there it's like a several layer plan I would like to create a convincing illusion and steal the text and sort of make it seem like I like the text is still there roll a defy danger dexterity to basically run up and grab it okay without being seen uh dexterity so nine plus two eleven and I pretend like irk kicked me yeah great and I grab it yeah as I'm falling and as you grab it off the the off the altar uh the image remains on the top of the altar so cool yeah and I roll and I as I'm rolling on the floor um I roll it up like scroll it up and shove it under my clothes yeah great wow it's quite a large skin you're able to get it under your shirt but it's like not gonna hold up to much scrutiny no and I definitely like fold it in places I shouldn't have yeah like if if uh if farah saw you do this she would cry yeah um but I was not gentle but and the spine boy the spine I'm sorry but you don't have to hold it it's now it's secure in your shirt it's just not hidden it's just like puffed it's out of the corner oh my my bones my little bones have broken uh tuck what do you do you see billy uh roll across the floor and grab the grab the text from the altar I think I would I'm gonna keep pretending to fight with irk but I'm gonna try and get some information out of him okay about like what like what his end game is here mm-hmm yeah totally um okay so you're gonna have to roll another defy danger charisma if you're gonna get like a bunch of info basically okay oh shit nine okay you can ask him one question okay uh it's kind of like the the dark star trek scene where it's like you're like holding on to each other yeah with the axe yeah totally uh and uh I'm like dude what the fuck is roth trying to do here I don't know and he uh ducks and goes I don't know like poof like your hair you feel your beard go as he gives you a little puff in the chin I do a little jump to pretend that he hit you hard oh my beard it's like there's some kind of spirit in this place and and roth wants it he wants its power cool that's about what we thought too I think it's the spirit of like a part of the moon or something oh my god you can't let him do that why uh uh uh kick spin and it's we're like doing capoeira right now kind of dancing back and forth I kind of feel like I've explained to him like yeah we found a room that was like it was about the grieving it was about the war and it said that a piece of the moon landed beneath the island after the shattering from what I know uh block punch uh he's saying block punch yeah he's going through stances in his mind like kata basically he's like we we bind the primordial spirits because they're the simplest they're the the their power is uh ubiquitous but spread out so we can chain them more easily but spirits like the moon the sun the planet nobody messes with those and then I grab him in a bear hug and we start rolling around on the ground again no you'll never get me I'm like why not they're too powerful what do you mean they're basically gods oh okay that was because he accidentally stabbed me yeah spirits like that are strong enough from what from what we've learned to have embodiments on the material plane like people kind of think that's it like people yeah you know the story of Lillian yeah yeah okay I get I got you okay he can't he cannot be allowed to do this okay I'll try and stop him okay okay now uh just like pretend to knock me out okay and then I actually knock him out I try and hit him really softly and do I roll you're gonna roll divide into strength to not knock him out pull your punches okay 12 okay you're able to control your strength enough that you can't knock him out but you don't knock him out and he goes like a like a street fighter yeah and he lands on the ground and goes and sticks his tongue out to the side and pretends to fall asleep and Tuck goes into like the superhero crouch yeah victory Tuck wins and Ving Roth prepares for another strike okay I want to discern realities to get insight into how he's fighting okay 2d6 plus wisdom okay I've got 8 okay so you get one question what here is useful to me yeah okay something that you notice is uh he stopped using fire for sure um he avatar style seems to have like a skin on his like hip that he is using to like fire bursts of water at you once in a while oh um and he has bent he has used the stone from the altar to fight you but he doesn't appear to be manipulated by the stone in this chamber mm-hmm like he is either unable to or unwilling to oh so that's something that you notice is that he's not like he could try and crush you if he was just like in a regular stone chamber but he's not yeah but he can use this stone in the middle mm-hmm so right now what he's doing is he's using a cushion of air to basically like surf around you to try and get a better angle uh to attack you sure and so when he goes around me I'm gonna elemental my form and be left standing um being made of the stone the white alabaster stone in the room ooh okay okay because I noticed that he's not using it in it yeah totally seemed to be a barrier roll plus con nine nine sick oh use an 88 I will aid how okay how um so Billy feels Ving trying to pull something like it's almost like he feels like that spirit energy like flowing through him mm-hmm and he knows he's like pulling from I'm pulling on the spirit of the moon yeah whoa so Billy's going to aid Ving by acting as like a conduit sort of for the moon energy to flow through him yeah nice totally so sick it's very like instinctual thing for him yeah okay 2d6 plus bond eight okay nice great great!

So you reach out with your like fairy perception trying to find the barrier between where this energy exists and the material world um to kind of bring it forth into this plane uh you connect and you feel and also kind of see like a light brightening around you like for a moment like everything seems to brighten and then a memory comes to you unbidden you see!

A beach like a stony beach trees evergreen trees on the coastline uh the waves crashing against the shore and you feel just like total contentedness mhm and uh you look to your side and you see a maybe mid thirties man very lean uh with like a small like close crop dark beard and dark hair like down kind of like to his uh shoulders and he smiles at you and you feel yourself smile at him and then you hear a voice and a laugh and you look behind you and a young boy runs down the beach to you and then you're back in this room pretty sad and I look up at Ving and Ving you feel this like wave of spiritual energy crash towards you and it's a lot of grief a lot of grief and love and that's that uh gives you the little kind of boost that you need to take your elemental form you just you just reach out with this energy you try and do like your usual thing like envision an animal and create a form uh and instead what happens is you feel this change come over you as you sheath your body in pure moonlight and you feel a form take place around you as you take on the shape of uh a massive wolf wow oh wow sick guys am I a wolf right now Billy Nod wide eyed yes yeah holy shit whoa this conversation is not happening I should say but everybody looks in this direction and you can see this like wolf made of moonlight and you can see Ving it's kind of like humanish wolf almost like werewolfy yeah totally bipedal wolf halfway between because it's connected to the moon cool and you're like oh my god it's like Roth like skids to a halt uh on his air cushion and he looks at you wide eyed and goes no and I pounce on him all fours and try to connect my all fours to the ground and make a cage around him and pin him to the ground okay damn yeah use a defy danger strength or one of your hold I guess yeah well um it's a wolf thing to hold things down great I'll spend my hold you pounce on him and these like brilliant white shining jaws clasp around his neck and and hold him down and he struggles and you just hear him repeating no no no no no Billy uh you see this wolf holding Roth to the ground what do you do uh I go unlock Maggie um you run up and Maggie is there and she goes Billy hi Maggie hi I knew I knew you'd get here I knew you'd get here sooner or later once once you're free I'm gonna need you to unlock Perel all right and she kind of like moves to get the locks closer to you I only got a six Tuck can you help me yeah sure and I just grab it and pull the chain oh thanks 2d6 plus bond uh set eight yeah and Tuck reaches forward and goes here let me hold it for you clank there unlock it that was that was pretty good wow teamwork Billy nice job high five you hear the smallest that was the smallest that was the smallest and Maggie stands up and you know like rubs her wrists where the manacles were and looks at Perel and goes we gotta get him and we gotta get out of here there are definitely more of these guys coming yeah did you see like a weird rap dude with goggles and kind of like a ranged weapon on their back yeah I don't know what his deal is but you do not want to get within his line of sight okay can I try and rip Perel's manacles off as well yep 2d6 plus strength here we go uh 15 oh my god you actually you grab them and they turn to dust in your hands I'm a monster you pull them so hard and then you look and you realize both of Perel's arms are still attached to the manacles uh yeah no you get them right off and Perel is uh stirring but unconscious I shake him a little bit I'm like are you okay buddy he looks he was definitely beat up a little bit but he's doing he's alive he's alive for sure and I smack him on the face I was like you did good talk yeah is Ving here yeah we're here to save you guys no you don't need to save us you need to save Ving you need to get him out of here right now wait what are you what the fuck are you talking about and you hear footsteps as people start pounding down the stairs towards you shouting and um more like a group of magi enter the room and start spreading out uh and Ving you've got Roth under your jaws I want to use the tattoo ink that I took from Roth and the magi knife to give him some sort of tattoo to either tether him in place or to overload his power or to give him power that he doesn't want that brings balance to the power that he does have I don't know something what do you think that's fucking sick I think that's really cool I think yeah let's figure out how you do that the only thing is that like you don't really know how this ritual works you don't know how the magi tattooing actually works works but you do know that there's a text in the room that outlines the ritual oh Perel uh yeah if he were able to get the text from Billy he might be able to study it really quickly so he's like get the heck here now because my mouth is around the guy's neck Billy is smart and he knows things because we're always yelling at him when we're brushing our teeth yeah they're always telling me like in circles don't brush too hard I'm like he wants the text so I throw it to Perel catch 2d6 plus dexterity 7 okay okay!

So um you throw it through the air Perel goes like huh and then it hits him in the chest and he goes oh he kind of flops his arms around it you have to read it okay alright use your nerd powers okay alright give me some give me some time we have no time and he starts looking around for his glasses and then Tuck like the hero he is reaches into his little backpack and pulls out his nerd glasses and hands them to Perel he goes what ugh he opens them up and puts them on and goes they're my exact prescription and then Tuck like puts his hand on his shoulder and he's like we're more alike than you think friend and he takes them off and he looks at him and goes these are my glasses and then Tuck gives him a little salute and then runs to help Billy yeah totally and you can see Perel I stole from you you do the two fingers salute and then you jump off the thing oh yeah Perel unrolls the text and starts to talk to him and then he starts to talk to him and starts reading it very quickly and as you're running Tuck you run around the altar to get to Billy and you see Maggie like take two steps plant a foot on the altar and leap off of it towards the group of magi so sick it looks like that one scene from the Avengers 2 where they're all jumping at the same time yeah totally yeah and yeah I wanna just as she's jumping over my shoulder throw her my spear whoa oh yeah sick yeah yeah totally so she snatches that out of the air and comes down and just like plants it through somebody and Tuck goes whoa holy shit it was the janitor from earlier no wow the elevator attendant who was just emptying a garbage can it's fucking speared schlock that better not be true it's not it's a magi and Billy you've been you've been surrounded what do you do I pull out my spear I pull out the sick sword that I stole from the pile of weapons that the pirates left behind and one of them is like one of those like swashbuckler swords and I start doing like cool like whoo whoo flippy flips with the sword and it's one foot longer than Billy's entire body yeah that's why I have to do that okay I like it give me a so you're they're close enough you can just give me a defy danger or sorry a hack and slash 11 oh Jessica has the knife okay she's whipping it around swashbuckle swashbuckle she's buckling a bunch of swashes right now look at all those buckles oh my god you almost cut your own poobs off almost yeah so roll your roll your damage just your straight damage no fancy shit seven oh my god wow I slit some throats yeah because it's so long they unfortunately magi are a little tougher than these pirate folks so you're only able to take down one but yeah tell me how you take them down yeah he gets in the way of me of my six swashbuckling um just nicks his jugular he's done oh my god I'm so sorry I say I didn't mean to kill you I just meant to wound you and he's just laying on the ground like blood spurt he's got his hand on his neck he's like what the fuck I told you to leave me alone little kid but you see uh thankfully you see his hand ices over whoa and it looks like he's just holding his neck closed with some sort of frozen bandage but he like scoots he pushes with his heels and scoots along the floor to like a corner of the room but holds his uh his jugular frozen shut that's cool tuck what do you do um a magi rushing down the stairs uh sees you rushing towards him and punches forward twice and two fist-sized chunks of the steps behind him uh whip forward towards you I wanna jump and do a front flip over the rocks okay historically never landed one of these no not once canonically this is amazing 2d6 plus dexterity holy shit 12 oh my god what a miracle you run forward you leap even just like the beginning of your leap one passes right under your nose and then you flip your whole body over the second one and the magi goes oh yeah oh yeah and then magi this is the magi these are my legs crotch right in the face he gets a face full of your nuts yeah and I'm wearing the kimono so it's all out there flapping in the wind alright it's the fuck bag it's the whole t-box hack and slash 2d6 plus strike 10 10 alright roll your damage 7 okay uh yep this is enough to take out this guy so you just this smell is too intense oh my god we've been down this cave for a while yeah it's getting musty jessica's laughing so hard she's not doing it into the mic but she is laughing but uh you so you ride this guy's face down to the floor jessica laughing into the mic uh and he smacks his head onto the stone floor and is unconscious he smacks his head on your stone floors oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god your stones smack his head into the floor yeah um and you feel uh like a burning grip as two hands clasp on your shoulders smoldering and try and pull you back into the room uh ving mhm you are a wolf mhm a man made of light and you're you wanna and stone and stone so you've got roth under your jaws he's starting to gather himself and break loose okay I have a move called eye of the storm when I exert my will in a circle around me things calm elements calm the earth calms below my feet fires calm I wanna use that and use um he's an elemental form so I wanna exert my eye of the storm on his power yeah well and I mean but now that I think about it depending on the role you might be able to eliminate the elemental manipulation of everybody in this room oh shit oh if I do it and I yeah cause or it's just gonna affect him cause it uh the eye of the storm he exerts his will in a circle around himself oh yeah and on a hit he rolls or it calms around you but on a seven to nine it affects only what you touch so he could come like the elemental storm within all of these uh magi yeah well I mean they like as they're calling it into being it would just dissipate yeah okay cool eye of the storm first time using it uh nope you used it before this is my first time today using it okay eight eight eight eight okay so you're only able to affect uh what you touch as long as you're touching it okay so you're holding roth and he uh as a last ditch effort he tries to like uh manipulate the stone the alabaster underneath him and I let go I mean I'm still touching him with like I'm I'm sitting on half his body yeah totally but I stand up like yeah as long as you're you're holding him as long as you're in bodily contact with him he can't like he punches forward and you see in his face uh that he's lost this connection he's like what have you done I boop his nose bats away your hand don't touch me are you still a wolf right now well I'm very much a wolf I can wolf paws boop his face uh yeah so you've got one more hold there if you want to keep it um but yeah he's struggling he's trying to like fight you fight you now you brought me here you wanted me here here I am let me up and you'll meet your destiny my destiny is coming to meet you and I pull out the magi knife from behind me oh and I'm I slice a spiral around my arm and I um I slice the magi knife right across his um that circle the the black circle in his the anchor tattoo the anchor tattoo oh yeah and I I push my arm down and I give him this is what you wanted you wanted you've have you're full of all the blood of all the animals you've ever taken I've ever taken you have the the blood of what I have been but you don't have the blood of what I am you want the power here it is and then I let it go and I I stand up I let go of him holy shit I un-eye of the storm so something you feel kind of through the spiritual background noise that you're always kind of perceiving here and there that he doesn't since you destroyed that tattoo with the knife uh with the tooth that connection that he had that chain you feel those spirits like leave this area holy shit you've unleashed the spirits that were connected to him your tattoos will no longer hurt you and he uh gets up stumbles to his feet as there's still a melee happening like you know 10 feet away and he runs his hand across his chest looks at the blood and just starts laughing pretty fucked up dude is what tuck says from where he because he hears the laugh and he's like what the fuck is wrong what'd you say did you tell a joke I don't like it when you have inside jokes with other people uh okay billy billy tuck uh you and maggie are uh fighting these magi they still have control of their elements although okay so one of them does this kind of jab to try and throw a gout of fire at you tuck and he's like and it goes like like it flares crazy big and you see him step back like he didn't expect it to be that powerful oh because the elements that roth had chained are kind of like loose in the area yeah oh it's like gasoline it is it and it like it's on his hand for a little bit longer than you can tell he wants it to be so he's like fuck like he's trying to blow it out sick oh my god I'm gonna try to use that against them yeah totally um maggie um basically gets the pole of uh ving's harpoon like behind the neck of one of them and just pulls him forward and fucking head butts him right in the nose oh great and uh oh yeah you guys realize you've never really seen her fight she's fucking savage so cool she's so she head butts this guy and then she grabs him by like the front of his like robe and turns and uses like the leverage of his weight and her like slightly lower center of gravity and just whips him over her shoulder onto the ground and follows it up with a pretty brutal stomp ving is like in this terrible moment maybe he regrets everything he's ever done and and roth is like power welling up and like ha ha and he's like like looking over at maggie like oh my god shaky fucking goal she does this spear maiden yeah she does this brutal stomp and then spins to start fighting another guy and she does this cool thing where she spins the staff around her neck like she's kind of guiding it with her hand and whipping it in a circle that's like extends around her holy shit I can do that she's doing like a fucking whirlwind maneuver sean keep describing how maggie is defeating everyone so we don't have to do anything yeah billy is just like he's just standing there mouth open like I could probably do that and he starts doing it with the sword like almost cuts his own head off goes to grab the sword give me that give me that I wanted to try but not with the fucking sword billy you see something interesting another magi starts rushing down the stairs and he sees you and you see him like do this low stomp on the stairs and the stone pushes him forward like throws him down the stairs but uh you could tell as soon as he launches himself his eyes go wide and he sails right over you and he slams into the ground and does a roll people are definitely losing control of their elements so billy what do you do I'm not sure I'm not sure I'm not sure um I I noticed that and I think sick um I grab another weapon off the pile on the floor from the pirates this time it is a I don't what a gun yeah that's pretty funny no it's not a gun I it's we don't have guns in our house in our world yeah that's true yeah we do that one guy does yeah that one guy that one you don't know what that is sure is there like a weapon that's like uh like a chain with like a short ball on the end of it for like beating people I I said one of them had a ball and chain yeah I think yeah that's why I grabbed okay the chain and ball so I'm basically like doing a little dance like spinning around my whole body with this trying to copy maggie cole's moves and I'm just saying like I'm maggie cole here here I'm going to do a little dance and I'm just saying like I'm maggie cole here here I'm going to do a little dance and I'm just saying like I'm maggie cole here here I am no that's not the right accent I'm maggie cole I'm swinging my sword around you get a momentum going where both of your heels are just pressed into the floor and the ball spinning you like a top yeah all right roll a hack and slash on this guy this poor man who just showed up five oh damn I don't do a good job oh fuck uh just miss him yeah you just fucking whiff it but uh okay all right um so you are trying to get this guy and he uh is still getting to his feet and he's able to like throw himself back at the last second before you clobber him and you hear something that's like a and uh feel like air whistle next to your head and a little puff of stone next to you did you just throw that at me it came from the direction of the stairs I look yeah at the top of the stairs just before they arc out of sight you see the cloth wrapped figure uh pointing whatever the device that he carries at you holy shit I want to go chase after that guy the guy on the stairs okay cool yeah uh tuck uh you you heard like a and you got a magi right in your face he's blowing gusts of air that are like throwing his own arms back but he's really trying to get a handle on it I see that billy's like going after that uh cloaked figure and I'm like you know what the magi could use a break from billy I'll let him take take the cloaked figure because billy's been fucking these magi and also they've got me I mean tucks like you whiffed the last one but you're doing a good job thanks you did cut that one guy's throat and he's still in the corner of the room trying to freeze his own neck shut but he's like billy's got that other guy and he's seeing all the spirit stuff that's going on he's like they're losing control because of the because of whatever ving is doing so tuck is wondering if he can amp that up like make it so these guys absolutely have zero control over their own powers so he's gonna use terry larry and chad uh for the blood god to uh hit them like a bell against like the stone floor and like red like try and get them like like a beacon resonating he's remembering back to when they were on the clear water and they all ate ghost root and it caused like a convergence of like something like a like a like a which is zero what a surprise oh my god shit uh so mark a point of experience okay and you totally still do that oh sick excellent you slam terry larry and chad against the ground against the stone ground doesn't break oh uh but this there is like a ringing as the metal connects with the stone and uh billy and ving you can feel the ringing and after it's like a huge gong and it's like a gong that echoes through the room and through other places and it's shaking the axe a lot like tuck usually doesn't have any problem holding on to it but it's like he's losing control of it now yeah and uh all of a sudden this like huge well of grief bursts up in you and me yeah and you ving and you billy and all of the magi and maggie everybody just for a second like you know you're like like you're like you're like like you're like you're like like you're like you're like like you're like you're like kind of wails I was gonna uncontrollably I love that idea I was thinking about that with the ringing of the cave and I'm on a wolf form and the moon yeah they starts matching the resonance and howling yeah being being begins howling uncontrollably and there's just this horrible keening despair does it does a memory come with it for billy it does yeah I'm back at the lake right so you're at the lake this is a different place than the shore you're at before uh it's a lake in a mountain valley you see like peaks five peaks all around you the coarse grit of the sand on your knees the dress that you wear is wet and torn in front of your body is a pile of stones and reeds are coming out of it and the wailing is coming from the reeds and you're just sobbing and wailing and screaming oh man and the sky starts to darken and then you're back in the room and the screaming continues ving yes roth uh is the last one of the two of us is wailing wailing yeah he's overcome with whatever this is and with it a change starts to come over him roll a you should defy danger wisdom perfect to determine sort of whether or not what you did was a good idea nine nine okay so he wails screaming and screams like you know tears at his hair and uh the moment passes everybody starts to kind of come down from this otherworldly grief and uh a change comes over him and a moment later you're looking at roth and then the next second you are looking at a towering polar bear whoa what and it roars in your face and it charges forward what do you do I I brace myself I I I I um as this moon-shaped wolf I uh howl at him and charge charge forward with all my strength okay uh I use my last hold to deal my damage cool okay yeah uh go ahead and roll your damage two two okay um yeah you the polar bear rushes forward on all fours takes a huge swipe at you uh you dodge out of the way claw it with your moon wolfman claw and it uh bellows as it stumbles to one side and as it skids to a halt for a second it's roth and he laughs and he goes you are not their master any longer I am and then there's a huge elk in front of you billy you started chasing after the uh the figure on the stairs yeah uh roll a defy danger dexterity because he manipulates some lever on the side of the thing he's carrying and moves it up to point at you again okay seven yep if you want to keep up on this path he's gonna tag you so I have to move out of the way basically yeah if you don't want to get hit you have to stop chasing him like you won't be able to get closer to him dang it unless I get hit unless you get shot then you can keep going I could get hit yeah you could get hit yeah I'll do that okay uh roll a d10 I'm scared is this one yeah yeah two two okay um you hear that and uh the air whistles the sleeve of whatever you're wearing like puffs with blood as uh you get like nicked and you've been nicked by lots of things this felt like a blade of some kind yeah it's searing hot yeah I keep I keep going though because I'm mad now oh my god he sees that he only clipped you and sees you sprinting at him and he's like oh my god I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared and he gets up and starts running up the stairs I'm gonna get you you son of a bitch how dare you corner me and my friends this way coward coward uh give me another defy danger dexterity to like catch up with him 12 holy shit yeah oh my god so like you're doing every other stair somehow just bounding uh and you round you round the like curve in the stairs and you see him.

He does not look like he is very athletic, but he is running as hard as he can up the stairs, but you're gaining on him. Tuck, you've just spent some time wailing with a grief you've never felt before, but you're starting to come to. And then, yeah, Tuck wipes tears from his eyes and snot from his nose. He's like, I think someone has a cat, maybe, or something. I didn't cry. I wasn't crying. You guys are crying. I'm a polar bear allergy. Yeah, that's what it was. It's a polar bear, I think.

And you wipe your eyes, and you see one of the Medjay, a young man who only moments before was manipulating some sort of fist sheathed in ice, like water abilities, is like weeping. And then the water starts, it keeps coming and coming. And then there's just torrents pouring from his eyes. Oh, shit. And he hits the ground, and he's just like gushing water everywhere. Okay. Yeah.

And the other ones, there's one left that is not being currently manhandled by someone, and they look like they're getting ready to run. And then Tuck does like the… The bully like deke where you go, boom, try to get somebody to flinch. He's like, get out of here. Okay, give me a defy danger charisma, I guess. Yeah, I would say. 13. 13. He stands there as you stare at him. And when you jerk forward, he goes, he just starts running.

And as you watch him run, you see Billy turn the corner and start running up the stairs too. Okay. I'm fine. Billy's fine. You already let him go. Yeah, I already made the decision to let Billy chase down a sniper, I guess. Get shot. And Maggie finishes a front chest kicking somebody into the wall and turns to you and goes, I can go get Billy. Check on Perel. Okay.

And I run and hop over the altar in the middle of the chamber and I kind of, I jump over it and then I hit on my knees and then skid over to Perel. And I was like, that was pretty cool. That was awesome. That was awesome. Tuck. Did you see that? Yeah, I saw it. Are your knees okay though? It's all stone. No, yeah. It's their ruin. You roll a Spout Lore. Oh shit. 2d6 plus intelligence. Eight. Eight. Okay. Something interesting, not useful.

Perel starts just gushing information, just info dumping on you. He's like, okay, it seems like it's some kind of old ritual for stealing power. It's called a rekindling, but it's also like a transference of power, but it requires the death of the one whose power is being taken. Oh shit. To be complete. Okay. Okay. So that's what Roth is trying to do. Right now. Yeah. I think he's trying to kill thing. Okay. I mean, any points.

And there's a huge elk trying to stamp Ving into the ground and you're like, yeah, he's trying to kill Ving for sure. You're right. We definitely have to stop him from killing Ving. Now that we have this new information, but I don't know. I can't tell. It looks like Ving just did it kind of forced his blood into him, gave him the power somehow. I don't know what kind of effect that's going to have. Okay. Like, is there any bad side effects to the fact that Ving did it? I don't know.

Oh, and he turns the thing to you and he's like, can you read? There's a bunch of like old drawings and like ancient ink. And I'm like, I would, but I don't have my glasses right now. Oh, of course. Convenient. Okay. I'm going to go try and help Ving with Roth. Yeah. That seems to be the best course of action right now. Okay. Ving, a huge elk is trying to stamp you to death. What do you do? I mean, did I hear that? Roll a discern realities. 12. Oh, that's plenty. You got three questions.

What here is not what appears to be. Something that you know that all druids have. Is a tell. Is a tell. Why that is. No one's really sure. He has human nuts. I kicked them. You can see his human dick and balls. That's a weakness. That's a weakness. Oh, man. That's great. That's way funnier than what I was going to do. No. But what I was going to say is no one is. Yeah. No one's really sure. I'm really sure why. Philosophically, druids have suggested that it's almost a pressure release.

It's the channeling of those energies between the material and the spirit requires some sort of conduit. So the power doesn't overwhelm the druid. Roth does not have a tell. This power was forced on him. And he is using it with wild abandon. What here is useful to me? He is using this power with wild abandon. Hmm. You can see as he continues to fight, the rage in him is definitely like a mid exacerbating factor. He is going at this with everything he's got.

If you were to keep him fighting to keep him angry. I got to infuriate him more. Yeah. What other question? What's about to happen? He is just going to keep trying to kill you with every ounce of his will. Yeah. And who knows what effect that's going to have? Oh, this is what I'm doing. I keep every. Because I've wounded him. Every time he comes closer, I'm putting more blood into him. Oh, pushing more of the power. Pushing more power. I like it. Hack and slash. Hack and slash. All right.

2d6 plus strength. I'm going to go underneath and try and get to that human digging balls. I got seven. Seven. Okay. So roll your damage and then roll a d10. Five. Okay. And then roll a d10 again. One. Okay. Great. Hell yeah. Yeah. So you go for his exposed dick and balls. Are we really saying that this is his tail? You go for his belly, basically. Like he's kicking up like he's doing elk fighting moves where he gets up on his hind legs and he's trying to clobber you with his front hooves. Yeah.

Revealing his relatively soft underbelly. Yeah. And his flaccid dick and balls. Yeah. You get in and you swipe him a couple times. Yeah. And he bellows. And you're like, oh, my God. You're going to get in your face again. This time the like throaty like shriek of an elk. And I take my wolf claws, scratch it across my cheek. Boom. More blood. Yeah. And he reels back and just head butts you and he just kind of pushes you back. But he stumbles a second and he flashes into his human body.

You see Roth for a second. He spits a bunch of blood on the floor. He's sweating. Yeah. He's like, and his eyes are just like bloodshot and wild. And then you're looking into his face. You're looking into the face of a towering humanoid oak tree. Whoa. And it just thunders forward. Tuck. You see Roth for a second, spit a bunch of blood on the floor and then become a tree person of some kind. Your mind flashes back to mudlark and sushi boat when Ving took a very similar form. Oh, right.

And this tree person starts thundering across the room. I run over to try and help Ving with this fight. Okay. Because I know that if we fight, we're going to win. If we can kind of like keep Ving alive for long enough, or this is what I think. If we can keep Ving alive for long enough, then like Roth is going to burn himself out. He's going to burn himself out. Yeah. Or something's going to happen. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Billy.

I try to grab onto one of the pieces of the wrappings that's hanging off this person. Nice. Defy danger dexterity. 10. Damn. 10. Yeah. So really nonstop. Huge hit. Grab. Onto it. This little dangly bit. And you pull off like a wrap that was like around this person's waist, basically revealing their. Human dick. Sorry. I'm sorry. Pull a bear dick about the hearing day. Okay. But they're wearing many, many layers. So you get like a layer of the lower half of what they're wearing.

But with it comes a pouch and the pouch hits the ground and scattering out onto the steps and clinking down around you are dozens of those blue magic crystals that you use all those ages ago to perform your magic. The ones that you found in the deep ward. Oh, the ones that are crystallized pieces of magic. The blue crystallized magical waters. Those all hit the ground and scatter and the person keeps running up the stairs. Oh my God. Can I grab the pouch and chase after him? Yeah, totally. Okay.

So you grab the pouch and keep running. Snatching the pouch gives them just like a couple more seconds ahead of you. You hear Maggie behind you say, out of the way, nerd. And you're, whoa. And then Maggie comes around the stairway. She's like, Billy. She leaps over you like one leg out, one bent, like a track star. So Billy watches Maggie, like basically catch up with him and he feels very sad. He feels very useless right now. Oh. So what does he do? He just stops.

He's looking at the bag of crystals kind of remembering the pond with the P.I.S.S. And he's just like, I couldn't even help them then. I can't do anything now. And he's just a little kid right now feeling like, well, everyone's got it under control. And then he kicks some of the crystals that were on the ground. Yeah. And they do have it under control and they use you all the time. That you're so special and they tell you that they care about you, but do they really?

They're not here helping you now. Who is that? It's you. This is, what do you mean? This is how you feel. You've always felt this way. You should do something about it. Whoa. These people don't. I drop the crystals. Whoa. And it does end for a second. It ebbs away, but you feel like that sadness calling you from the chamber below. So I'm going to go catch up with Maggie. What the fuck was that? That was so cool. That was sick. And you get to the top of the stairs. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Was there like two Billy's for a second? That's like the piss monster. That's like the bad side of Billy. Yeah. That was like a bag of like evil parole. Oh shit. Polar. Yeah. Who knows what that was? I don't like that. And Billy, you get to the top of the stairs and you see like, you know, a slam through door, slam through door. Maggie has not caught up with this guy. It seems like now that he's on a flat plane, he's really getting a move on. So he's like two rooms ahead of you.

Maggie's one room ahead of you. I'm going to holler at her. Maggie. What? Catch me. She's scared. She's like, Billy's going to get away. No, he won't. And I would like to do a shadow dance move. Oh, cool. Okay. Cool. I need to know what this mystery wrapped up. Person is about. All right. So how does shadow dance work? So I have to spend a hold of fairy child and then roll plus wisdom to enter the fairy slash shadow world on 10 plus. I remain out of body for three holds on seven to nine.

I only get one hold. Okay. Do it, Billy. Oh, this is not good. Okay. Hold on. Plus wisdom. I have none. It's five. Yeah, I could. Yeah, I could. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to use another fairy child to change it. To a seven to nine. Okay. I think. Is that your final one or do you have one more? I have one more. Okay, cool. So yeah, you feel it must be something about this place that you're tethering to your physical body is like grasping for a second before you're able to fully break away. Yeah.

I felt that the whole time I was in this fortress. Mm hmm. And just as you see Maggie sprinting towards you, you leap into the air as you leave your physical body. And you hit Maggie like a limp bag of bread. Yeah. But fairy Billy keeps going through her and I run so fast. Yeah. Okay. So what are you? You're trying to catch this guy or at least like get some info. Yeah. Because you're in. Catch them. Because you're a non-physical body right now. Right.

But I, but I also want to see if there's like anything about him. Mm hmm. Then yeah. Get two to six plus wisdom. Oh my God. These are the virginity dice. I swear to God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

How is this possible? I got a three. Oh man. You had so many huge roles for so long. But you're getting so much experience. Yeah. So you're running, you're rushing forward in your fairy form and you catch up to this body.

And as you like reach out with your little fairy hands trying to influence him in some way, you see him turn around and look down at you and you notice that the goggles he's wearing seem to be made out of a kind of blue crystal similar to the magic crystals that you found in the bag. Oh shit. Holy shit. And he just says, nice try kid. Oh my God's a wizard. And then he keeps running. Billy is so shocked. He literally like gets jolted back into his body.

You just wake up in Maggie's arms and he's gone. Like you, he, he bursts out the door to the actual keep and Maggie skids out just after him, but he's out of sight. And storm goes, Oh, get him. Yeah. He's gone. Wow. Nice try kid. Oh, that's so sick. Holy fuck. Wow. I like this guy. We cut back to the chamber. Roth is a tree. He's trying to crush you. Bing, what do you do? Oh, I thought. Oh, right. I thought tuck was on the way. Trying to keep him angry. Right? Yeah.

I use, Oh, what are you waiting for to piss him off? All right. Yeah. You have an ax. So it's a natural enemy to a tree. Yeah. You can hear Larry, Terry and Chad go. Let us at him. I'm going to get him. Chop, chop, chop. Okay. Timber motherfucker. Okay. So I'm going to use, what are you waiting for? Uh, roll plus con. Con? Yep. Okay. Here we go. Cause it's like your physical toughness. Six plus three is nine. Nine. I can aid. Oh, you can aid. Yeah. By distracting him. Yeah. Totally.

Further goading him. Yeah. Into attacking tuck. Yeah. I gave my, um, I have the waiting knife and I jab it in my wolf chest and then give him a stab with the knife. The tooth knife. The tooth knife. I give him a bit more of my blood and more power. I love it. Yeah. Roll 2d6 plus bond. Nice. Eight. And that distracts him for long enough that I can take Larry and Terry and Chad off my back and like throw it at him. Yeah. And it embeds. It embeds in his back in Roth's Oak back.

And then when he turns around, he sees me pissing on the Sean broke his glasses in half. Oh, he's trying to break his laptop. No, it's fine. This is more for dramatic effect. He sees me pissing on the, on the altar that has the illusion of that, uh, of that text on it. Right. And I'm like, this is what I think of your stupid druidic practice. Oh my God. And, uh, the ax cleaves into, and I fart a little bit and it makes the piss stream a little stronger for a second. Yeah. Yeah.

That was definitely a reason to cut me off. It is the funniest reason. Look at how, how hard Jessica loves this. You'd have to look at it cause you can't hear it in the microphone. I know. I can't, I can't help it. It's hilarious. Uh, so yeah, the ax embeds in the wood of his, uh, tree.

And, uh, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's back his dryad form and he whips around and sees you pissing on the skin and it doesn't even look like he's offended. It just makes him more mad just cause he's so mad already. Uh, but as he turns, he flashes back into his Roth form and the ax like clatters to the ground behind him.

And, uh, this time he becomes, Oh, or what were you going to say? I don't know. Yeah. Stone man. Uh, yeah. So his form shifts again and now he's just this like thick.

Rock golem man like an armor made of huge gray stones and he tromps across the chamber towards tuck I dive in and slide on my knees like I have a guitar in my hands but I don't and I scoop up larry terry and chad and as you tricked me you tricked me just now and um as I slide by him with larry terry and chad um the glow from their uh amethyst and the glow in my chest amethyst and I give him a try and cleft in between from the bottom up 12 13 holy shit 14 okay I don't think I've ever rolled that boxcars roll your damage two oh I mean I think you do this like slide and you come up with this like swing between his clefts and uh you hit him and you feel it like bite into the stone of this elemental form but then something about the axe and stone in this form dissipates it instantly and he hits the ground in his uh human form and he is like spitting up blood by the mouth full now and tuck runs up and pushes him back to the ground fully style yeah 2d6 plus drag 12 well so he tries to get up and you just hit him like a train you uh billy uh billy got maggie to scoop up the crystals and we're we're running back down to the chamber uh yeah so you get there you hear like huge crashes and screams and bellows you come down the stairs and you see perel at the back of the room furiously trying to read this book yeah I take the crystals to perel it's like billy oh you're okay oh maggie okay cool as uh ving it sails across the room from a backhand by from raw uh they're trying to just keep him occupied he's killing himself are you still reading the text I'm trying but this isn't a language I don't I barely understand can I try to read it yeah okay here hold these yeah Spout Lore Spout Lore 2d6 plus intelligence oh my god five and I for sure don't have intelligence yeah that was a five mark a point of experience again it is an elvish my god oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh yeah you just can't you can't help at all you can't read this in the slightest there's no bees in here there's no pictures at all and why would they bring you into a situation where they know that your failings are gonna make things harder for everybody you're putting people in danger they don't respect you they don't trust you yeah fold up the the text and shove it up under my shirt you're right pro what don't touch them what I put them back in my pouch into my pocket area uh you should go help them they're trying to they just got to keep them busy he's he's gonna run out of steam eventually okay uh and tuck and ding ding is like running out of steam too yeah I imagine and he is like staggering to his feet now he hasn't taken a form yet like after tuck slammed him into the wall he's just like bleeding and bruised and he's getting up and he's just like it's only a matter of time I'm gonna I'm gonna kill you and then I'm gonna be the spirit walker and I'm gonna have all of the power anyone could ever need just a bunch of blood on the ground and he stumbles around you and he's trying to get to the altar clearly uh I have larry terry and chad I smash the altar whoa holy shit okay I'll piss him off yeah defy danger wisdom um um into a hundred pieces chunks of stone fly all over the room everybody feels this like wave of spiritual turbulence emit from the altar and roth rises up from his like brutally beaten hunch and feels like he is feeling a cool breeze on his face just seems elated as this blood like runs down from his mouth across his chest and he's doing the the typical villain like yes yes and he starts like uh his arm becomes like a bear's paw and then it like starts to go up his shoulder but then it becomes like a bird's talon and he looks at it and then like the other hand shifts to like a horse's hoof and then his chest is like a killer whale's chest yeah there's like like blubber and flesh and then his legs are like crab legs and it's just like whipping back and forth he's like no oh my god there's a bezoar is forming into a forehead a red like he's taking on my spirit animal too and which is oh the lightning is starting like yeah oh yeah yeah there's like storm clouds like gathering around him like in the room yeah they're just like coming into existence and ving the moonlit wolf form that you've been wearing for this fight disappears the stones clatter to the ground and you feel a similar thing like your hands catch fire and the flames start running up your arm onto your chest and your body and you feel like your flesh turning to stone you disappear for a second and there's just like a roiling fart fart the most primordial of all elements and then you feel something reaching out to you I reach back as you reach out to this force the elements that you are used to controlling and manipulating start to flit away you that your grasp on them is loosening before like they're slipping through your fingers like it's just running through your grip and billy and uh tuck you see like a moon rise light from his like forehead down illuminates ving and it just pushes the fire away and pushes the stone away and the water away until he is fully illuminated by the light of the moon whoa ving you feel a little bit of a change happening it's on it feels unclear right now but also sad definitely it feels like an ending in a way oh whoa um is this the last episode we're gonna die everything fades to black uh in the middle of journeys don't stop believing everything suddenly cuts to black hmm fin writes on the screen yeah in cursive and then question mark and then you're like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry period and then period period ellipses um so the moonlight begins to wash over your face and then down your body you can feel the elements that were attempting to take hold as it goes over my face tears are drawn out I'm crying as it goes down my body and here's where you kind of realize what's happening you feel your gills begin to close oh whoa no my tail you feel as the light washes down your chest the amethyst geode in your chest close up whoa my god it washes down your arms the moss falls to the ground falls to the ground oh what what the fuck's happening and it continues down your legs until you are completely bathed in moonlight where once inside you rested fire earth air wind there is now only the light of the moon you stand there bathed in moonlight you think for a moment of your mother and everything she taught you and everything that she helped you become and you take a deep breath in and you feel yourself breathe out through new gills nature's price has finally been paid and I think that's where we're gonna end it for this week I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz so long playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers take care playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie bye everyone thank you to aaron reed as always for the incredible intro and outro music that he is so beautifully composed for us uh speller actually has a soundcloud account where you can listen to all of the original music from the show and it's got a shit ton of music written by abdulaziz and composed by aaron reed and also the song by you right yes I did write terry not um and thank you to all of our beautiful supporters around the world you can support us on twitter and support us on patreon at patreon.com Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com money please for an absolute ton of bonus content audio content outtakes bloopers fun word almanacs other material artwork merch whatever your heart desires can be found at patreon.com Spout Lore and we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried their best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you continue to listen to the story of the halfling thief you or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spelt