Tag: Dungeon World

Do you like Spout Lore and want spout more? Go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore, where you can get access to a bonus game called spout more Mall Brats. You know what? I don't like the theme song anymore. What? Why not? I don't want to listen to it anymore. I'm changing the theme song. What? What is it now? It's going to be. Oh my God. I'm into it. I'm with the sickness. You can't do this to me now. I'm all thrown off. You got to finish the song. Okay. I'll start again for the week. Oh man.

If he plays. Yeah. That's me too fast. There's no way I could queue it up in time. Right? Like there's no possible way. In human time. That I could do it. So I'm just going to play. Abdul wasn't looking for a podcast. I was looking. I'm not even doing it. He's poking a bunch of stuff on his iPad. I'm not pooping anything. So maybe. Boops. He's beeping and booping. I'll tell. Fuck you guys. Okay. So here's. What are you doing? I'm sorry. Okay. Here it is. Here's the thing. This is so worth it.

No. Okay. So here's what just happened is I tried to play sabotage by the beast. Yes. Uh huh. Uh huh. But. I knew it. I knew it. But. Uh. It was definitely playing on Aaron's iPhone. And I'm pretty sure she was trying to get Khalil down for a nap. Oh no. She was definitely playing like a nice song to get him to go to sleep. And then you played your joke annoying loud. And then probably what turned on was. Wow. Oh my God. Followed by Khalil. Wow. Oh. Oh. And now the themes are great. Shut up.

So here I say This is the adventure that is with the sir Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home He loves to sing and fight Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape And wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size Does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be But their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round, friends And listen close For the tale's about to start Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara.

And joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hi, how's it going? And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hi, everyone. When last we left our heroes, they returned. To the Margani Library, following an absolutely barn-burning fight with Medjay and threat untold, Roth, who was overcome by the teamwork of our three heroes and a number of differing poisons and drugs. Oh, yeah.

The party incapacitated Roth and returned to the Margani Library to return the book that Billy stole from the library. Infuriating master librarian, Farah Margani. And also to deliver their new prisoner, Roth, who may or may not become a problem. Mm-hmm. Following that, Tuck and Ving engaged in some sort of unasked-for romantic rivalry. Unasked-for, but appreciated. By? The audience.

And then we did a little bit of a study break, and everybody kind of took to the library, to take advantage of one of the benefits of having access to this repository of information, which is if you spend a whole day studying, you get a 10-plus on a Spout Lore. Mm-hmm. And what we learned during those spelt lores was, Jessica? We opened the artist joke puzzle, and inside was a seed for the Tree of Knowledge. Mm-hmm.

And what was written on the seed were basically kind of growing instructions for it. So cool. Mm-hmm. And it started, it started germinating a little bit. Yeah. So Billy is in possession of an extremely rare and extremely important seed for a tree that contains the collected knowledge of druids. Mm-hmm. What was the result of Ving's studying? I don't remember. You also took a sample of Roth's tattoos. Oh, Roth.

Yes, of Roth's tattoos, and we found out with LightSight, put it under the microscopic system they have, and found out that it was a tree. And it was a tree. And it was a tree. And it was a tree. And it was a tree. And it was a tree. And it was a tree. And it was a tree. And it was a tree. And it was animal blood, but the mixture of all the blood from the animals that were in the ritual. Yeah, that they stabbed. Yeah, it's the shapeshifter blood. Shapeshifter blood mixed with ghost root. Mm-hmm.

And some sort of other ritual. Yeah. And what we learned from that is that the Medi in their attempt to chain the elements to them kind of put themselves in this very dangerous halfway state between the spirit world and here, which Ving believes, eventually will kill them and knows that Roth is probably in extreme pain all the time because his arms are under, his arms especially are under tremendous strain. All the different forms are pulling in every different direction. Yeah. Exactly.

And Tuck. Tuck went and talked to Farah about the white coin and all the demon possessions that were happening. What did she say to me? She said that she thinks the coins may or may not, this is all a working theory, they may be used by some force to attract people that are candidates, good candidates for demonic possession. Oh, okay. She doesn't know if you found it randomly, if perhaps you are a candidate for demonic possession. Uh-huh.

And the idea is perhaps the coins themselves contain a fragment of an icon. Oh, yeah. Or a fragment of the outer dark, were we saying? Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. And after this, study sesh with Farah, Tuck was walking through the library and was stopped by a gruff voice that turned out to belong to Fatim, erstwhile bully and former member of the Lightguard who asked if he and Tuck could talk. Okay.

So as soon as I hear Fatim's voice, I knee jerk, grab a table from next to me and throw it at him. And then I start running at him. Oh my God. Okay. Hack and slash, I guess. Yeah. Shit. Yeah. Would you roll? Fuck. Five. Five. Failure. So mark a point of experience. Hell yeah, I'm gonna get to level seven so soon. So you're in a corridor. So you grab a tiny little side table that was in this corridor and throw it at Fatim and you start charging at him.

And you see as the table sails through the air towards him, he just punches it and shatters it. And by the time you get to him, he's ready and he does that sort of Hercules, style grab where he grabs both your fists and just stops you dead in the hallway. Yeah. And it's like, no, I just want to talk to you. You've said that so many times. So I go to knee him in the balls. All right. We're doing a fight scene now. Two to six plus strength again. Seven. Seven on this one. Okay. Yeah.

So you deal your damage, I guess. Okay. With D10. Oh my gosh. Is that six or nine? That's a nine. Nine. Yes. Yeah. Oh yeah. Shit. Oh my God. Oh my God. So you knee him. There's a little seven. You knee him and he goes, and he shoulder checks you and tries to push you away. Roll a D10. One. So yeah, he just shoulder checks you and you don't feel it because he is reeling from the fact that you hit him in the ball. Yeah. I've got victim rage. He's just like, stop. I just want to talk to you.

This isn't a trick. I can't trick anybody. You just shoot me in the nards. And then, so I get on top of him and I hold him down and I'm just like, okay, tell me what you want to say. Can we, I don't, it's going to take a while. Go ahead. Right here. Yeah. Do it with me holding you down. Oh my God. Okay. Oh God. I wanted to say that I'm sorry. It's not. I'm just, I'm sorry. There's more to it. Tuck. Let's go. Can we go like sit somewhere? Sure. And he gets up and he's like holding his balls.

It's like, my God, we can go somewhere that has ice. Okay. I guess the cafeteria. He's the answer for everything. For you three. It's always like, yeah, it's pretty good. So you're sitting at a bench at the end of a long table in the cafeteria. There are people having various meals and Fatima is sitting there with a huge bag of ice just all over because both of you guys are massive. So this bag of ice is like a pillow. He's just like, oh my God, did you really have to go right for my nards?

I mean, it was a knee jerk reaction. Literally. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. This is not easy. I don't know how to talk about it. I just like, I admit that I have not been a good person, but you don't know what it's like having to work for years and years at the right hand of someone who is like manipulating your emotions. And now that I, now that that's gone. I'm really trying to figure out like who I am and who that was. You know what I mean? It's been pretty bad for the last couple of years.

Like for you or in McCall? Just in general, I guess. Kind of everything. It was you. We thought you died. What? You just, when you left, nobody knew what happened to you. Well, nobody cared. Nobody cared about any of us. That was the point. And when you left, we thought that you died. I, and you know what?

I, there was a, there was a long time there where I was, you know, I thought maybe that I was responsible and you know, every once in a while you I'd see in a freight and I think, is that tuck? And then I saw you in crystal Bay and. Okay. I just got so mad cause I was like, he just left. You just left. We all stayed here. You got away. I'm not good at explaining this. I sang the tolling for you. Oh, whoa. Why did you think you did it? What? Why did you think you did it?

Well, I was like, I was really, really scared. I was like, I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. Really shitty to you. And I thought maybe that, you know, the way that I treated you caused you to kind of, you know, I don't know. Maybe you slipped up one night and you got stuck on, on a stone road at night. I don't know what happened to you, but I thought that, you know, maybe I had something to do with it. What happened to everyone else? What do you, what usually happens?

Some of us made it. Some of us didn't. I joined up the light guard the second I could. And spent, you know, whatever the last 10, 12 years, just kind of doing this. But, uh, not everybody was as lucky as me. Not everybody was as big and as strong as me and is valuable to an organization like that. Some people just, he kind of makes a gesture. That's just like nothing. Um, I'm sorry. I didn't tell you I was leaving.

And he like, he, he doesn't, it's like, he kind of like, he gets angry for a second, not angry, but he's like confused. What are you? I'm not saying that I, I'm not saying I want you to apologize to me. I know, but I, I, I, I, I didn't know it mattered. It does. It doesn't, it didn't matter. That's not what I, I'm sorry. I didn't know it mattered. It didn't matter. I don't whatever. Okay. All right, cool. So are we, what are we good? What do we do? I don't know.

I get, well, I mean, I guess we just kind of like live and then try to beat each other up less. Uh, I guess that's how casual acquaintances slash old friends, uh, uh, friends behave. All right, that's fine. What are you going to do next? I don't know. Like, what are you, are you going to stick around in the library? Are you going to, nah, nah, probably not. This isn't really my scene. Too many books. I know it's so quiet. They just want to read and drink tea all the time. Fuck. It sucks.

It does. People yell at you for not being quiet. Yeah. Doesn't make sense. Some of us, we can't be quiet. Some of us have huge chest cavities. Some people are just loud. We're screaming at each other. And the cat that turns around. This is a cafeteria. Please. This isn't the library. Shut up. I'm trying to have tea and read. This is the loud zone. You want to come over here and tell me to be quiet? Yeah. You come over here. Tell us to be quiet.

Closes the book, walks in with his tea, quietly sipping. God, I hate this place. Fuck. It sucks. So I'm probably going to go eventually. I don't know when, but, I don't know. Maybe I leave McCall entirely. I mean, there's a lot of world out there. That's what I keep hearing. And people love it when I, people used to love how big I was. Fucking loved it when I would break shit for them. So there's always work. There's always break shit kind of work out there. Well, that's good to know, but yeah.

All right. Well, I'm going to go. And he like pushes himself up off the table. So we're cool, right? Yeah. Yeah. So this is whatever. Is this fine? We're fine. Yeah, we're fine. Fine. Wow. Damn. You just got to apologize to people. Holy shit. Yeah, it's really easy. Fuck. All right. Well, I'm going to go apologize to some other people now. Oh, cool. And he starts, he sees the guy that's leaving with his book and his team. He's like, Hey man, wait up. Runs away faster. The guy starts sprinting.

It charges after him. It's just this, this like screaming mad dash through the library. He's like, come back here. He like knocks over a whole bookcase. He's like, come back. So what are Ving and Billy up to? Oh yeah. Ving's been keeping pretty, uh, hefty. What do you call it? Correspondence. Oh, Shia. Yeah. He's been sending, uh, like martial arts, like, uh, uh, like some of the forums and stuff like that. Like she's been cool. They're keeping up with her training. Over distance. Cool. Yeah.

And she's been sending you a coded, like they just seem like letters, but you've, you guys have determined a way to like read between the lines and it's her explaining, uh, kind of how things are going in the criminal underworld of McCall. So she has explained that. Yeah. She's got cliffside pretty well locked down.

The jackals have recruited to the extent that there aren't really any gangs that are comfortable pushing into that area, but she is dealing, uh, with a pretty powerful organized crime family, like traditional, like it's got a patriarch. Yeah, exactly. A godfather style, uh, criminal enterprise in stepside that is proving, uh, pretty difficult. So she is, uh, starting to plan moves into stepside, but this, uh, it's a camel or not a camel. Sorry. It's a centaur. It's a regular camel.

It's a regular camel with an eye patch. Uh, no, it's a centaur. Uh, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's like their front and it's an organized crime syndicate. Whoa. Yeah. Center's a great mob bus too. It's a real Tommy Supreme. Eat more kind of guy. Tommy Supremo. He also owns a pizza joint. You know what? His name's Tommy Supremo, the leader of the centaur family. Cause it's like a mob thing, right? They don't have aliases. They just use their names.

Well, that's, that could be an alias. Tommy Supremo. Yeah. Tommy Supremo. Tommy Supremo. A creator of the Supremo pizza. I saw a bunch of ducks one time. It really fucked me up. I'm seeing a therapist about it right now. A bunch of ducks killed my family. I had to go see a therapist. Uh, yeah. So it's, uh, Tommy Supremo, head of this centaur, uh, organized crime family who does have a chain of pizza places. Uh, it's not a trading company. It's a pizza place. Yeah.

And all of their, uh, stuff is run out of there. They smuggle a lot of things in and out of the city. Yes. He has contact. He has flat things, flat things in pizza boxes. That's how they do it. They smuggle things in. Cause he has a lot of contacts in the merchant trade and they transport them through the city via pizza delivery. Oh, so cool. But also very funny for them to have to deal with like problems where, or stuff that they're trying to deliver. That's larger than two inches in height.

Sometimes they'll stack boxes and cut holes. I know. Like more than one book. I don't know. That's the move. Uh, yeah. So, so that's kind of how things are going with her. She hasn't even just like thought about moving into the lower ward and you get the idea. She is very concerned about even trying to move into the lower ward where the rich people are. Yeah. Why?

Cause as far as she can tell, there are criminals in the upper reaches of society and they are, they have so much more in terms of resources and they are much more cutthroat. Oh, I just thought of one of those cutthroats. What's that? The barber from that salon. Oh, the perfumer's guild guy. The, the one that Ving met. Yeah. Actually, uh, Oh, that's a perfect cover for somebody who's going to cut your throat. Totally. Going for a shave. Hell yeah. Yeah.

He pretends to be this like kind of doting like servant that's like, allow me to perfume you and style your hair. But he's a, yeah. Hardcore criminal boss. Was Sweeney Todd. Yeah, totally. Okay, cool. I'll, yeah, that's sweet. Um, yeah. So that's kind of how things are going with Shia. And you've been sending her like mostly martial, art stuff or you, have you been talking to her about like personal things?

I think mostly the martial art things and she's been distancing herself from the rich family. Yeah. She's pretty much like just left the Siddell place, but she mentions that cash is still staying there. He's taken over her lot. What cash is still living with the Siddells. What a permissive family that is. I like the idea that his parents also moved in. So he's living with his family. He's living with his parents again, but in somebody else's parents. Yeah.

He's trying to pretend that he's like this rich, like a influential person on this balcony, like stunning himself, drinking cocktails. And his mom's like cash come inside, pick up your clothes, honey. Uh, sweet. And what's Billy been doing? Um, probably playing with that seed. Oh yeah. Yeah. Anything that he's learned from the seed in particular? Um, definitely likes wet stuff. So, um, so what kind of wet stuff is Billy been giving the seed? Just like water. Yeah.

I just, he's been like putting it in cups and stuff. Yeah. Like he's, he's grabbed a lot of cups from the cafeteria. It's like signs. There's cups of water, cups of water. And he just like kind of just jiggles it around. Nice. Like, yeah. Grow. Yeah. Do anything. Come on. Logan. Maybe Billy, he's done playing with the seed in the water cup. So he takes the seed and puts it in his pocket, goes and looks for Ving. Hey buddy, do you get that seed still? Yup. Give me the moist. Oh yeah. Attaboy.

Squelch. Do you want to look at it? I sure do. Oh, that's really grown much as it. No, I don't think it likes it here. Ving whispers at the seat. You're doing great buddy. And tuck arrives at this scene. Oh, it's we're talking to seeds again. Why are you always so mad about it? I'm not mad. I'm fully supportive of this. Hey, say something to the seed pal. Yeah. You look you. Whoa, buddy. Whisper. Whoa. Sorry. You know, I have a hard time with whoa, buddy. You've been working out recently.

Looking strong. You're like, I'm not fucking done. This is fucking Christ, dude. I'm engaging with this weird thing that you guys are doing. Please do. Oh yeah. You've been doing squats recently. I could tell your glutes are popping right out of that pot. No, I'm not done. Oh, what's that? Oh, look, let me turn you around. Ooh, look at those tries. So defined. No, dude, what the fuck? Looks like a fucking arrowhead on your back. Oh, it's so fucking defined.

Just pointing right at those juicy gloobies. That's what I call glutes when they're extra. You hear what are you guys doing? Oh, hi, Pearl. Hi, we're just talking to the seed. Oh, you're talking to the seed again. Say something to the fucking seed. Hey, little guy, I'm really proud of you. I know it's been tough because you're inside that artichoke for so long, but I think that you can do it. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie.

I know reclaiming power that you thought lost to you is a really difficult proposition, but I think that. Dude, don't put your own stuff on the seat. I'm just really proud that you've been trying so hard. Your breath fucking reeks. Shut up. Where are you getting hamburger helper? Nobody's making it anymore. I'm making it myself. Why aren't you telling me this? I've, I've been a hamburger helper so long.

I've been like this the last time, the last time I told you about my, my under the bed hamburger helper. You hamburger helper. I'm like, you think you're going to make a hamburger? Help yourself to way too much of it. You're being a hamburger keeper. You think I can stop myself? What goes? Hamburger helper? You can't even stop yourself. It's so good. It's so good. So salty. I had a fucked up conversation with better. He said, sorry for being me. Oh my God. I'm so glad you had the breakthrough.

Brill hugs you and he said, you're going to have to take a break. You're going to have to take a break. You're going to have to take a break. You're going to have to take a break. Sobbing into your chest. And then as Tug hugs Perel, he like dips his hand into one of his housecoat pockets and pulls a bunch of hamburger helper out and hands it to Billy. Billy takes it and like nods. Thank you. And eats it like nothing happened. Except for the smear of cheese and meat sauce on your face. Yeah.

Perel wipes his tears. Wow, guys. I really needed that. Thank you. No problem. You know, thinking about it, we should probably work on getting yours and or Ving's powers back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm feeling strong. I'm feeling healthy. I feel like I've recovered enough. We could, when we go back to the city and track this magi fucker down and give him the old one-two. Well, yeah. Ving, do you even want your shape-shifting abilities back? I mean, I haven't been missing it.

And since I know how it was taken, I don't know if it's mine to get back. Huh. Well, maybe the knife could have something to do with getting Perel's powers back. Oh, yeah. I don't know if it works the same with spirits and druids and magic. But it might. It could. Yeah, and there is definitely power imbued in the knife. Maybe. That's what Ark said, at least. Especially when mixed with the ghost root. And if you're powering… Powers are about, like, shifting your form.

And my magical focus was about… It might not be able to get you your magic back, but it could get you powers similar to your magic. Right. Because you were, like, a transfiguration dude or whatever. Transmutation, but yes. And Tuck just picks up one of Perel's books and throws it in a garbage bin. Out of spite. Don't fucking correct me. Don't misrepresent my work. So, wait. Yeah. Holy… Shit. Fuck. And he starts, like, he's swearing too much. He's like, Jesus fucking shit. Fuck.

I could just, if I just had the knife, I could just give myself powers. Well, hold on. We don't know this. Well, I mean, it's a good working theory, right, Billy? Maybe. I mean, but what kind of ritual did you go through when you became a wizard? Oh, yeah. I… That's a hard question to answer. I guess you don't have to. No, I feel… I guess it's… We've known each other for a long time now, and you all don't really know much about my past, do you? Don't know, don't care. Oh. Okay, well…

Wait, wait, wait. What? I care, and I, like, get some throw pillows, and I make a nice couch. I'm like, sit down with me, you guys. I sit down. I sit down with Billy. And I put Billy on my lap, and I put a pillow behind, between my ripped hard abs. Yeah, definitely. And Billy's back, because he complains about how lumpy it is. Sometimes. Thank you. You know that your muscles make me sore sometimes. Because of how hard they are. Thing's too bony, and he's too muscly.

I can't ride on anybody's shoulders. God! I, um… Yeah, I became a wizard, um… Suddenly, is how I would describe it. One day I wasn't, and then one day I was. And, um… Everything was different from then on out, and, uh, my old life was lost to me. It took me a while to get my feet under me, but then I had to make do with this new life. And it was, it's good. It's a good, it was a good life. I guess. What's the last thing you remember about your old life? Oh, I remember all of it.

Did I ever tell you guys that I grew up in, uh, in the Riverways Principality? No. No? Yeah. You stayed close to home. I did, yeah. That's where I built my tower. Um, afterwards. Uh, but… I… Alright, you know, I'll just say it. I, uh, I had a wife, I had kids. And, uh, sometime, I think I was in my early to mid-forties, um, was when it happened. Uh, I was a ferryman. That was kind of my job, as I was away from home a lot. I was working a ferry up and down the rivers.

I was away from home, uh, one day, and I got my powers, and, uh, I, uh, wasn't able to control them, and, uh, a town paid the price for that. Oh my god. And then I couldn't go home. So, you know, and then, that was that. Well, that's really vague. So, like, what happened to the town? Um, Flash Frozen? Whoa. Yeah. And do you remember how you got your powers? Like, did you, like, touch some thing, or eat something? Do you, like… What? At least I'm trying to figure it out. Yeah, no, Billy.

Uh, Thaumatological Theory states that there are a number of ways that people can be wizards. Theory the first. Theory the first is you're born a wizard. Theory the second is, um, you just become one by random happenstance, almost, and that's what happened to me. Some cosmic calculation, that I am not privy to, took place, and I was the solution. What, uh, like, what did it feel like? Oh, it hurt so much. Physically? Physically, yes. You've seen me work magic in the past.

Um, my physiology isn't strictly human. Yeah. Yeah, and it started human. So, the process of becoming a wizard, uh, becoming a person capable of manipulating Thaumic energy is excruciatingly painful. And the older, you are, the more it hurts, because the more use your body is to being the body that it is. So, it's just random. That's my understanding. Aquaria was, um, for example, she was, uh, just created, she just, uh, she just began her life as a wizard the way that she was.

That's how she always was. What? No. What? No. No. I know you've all got questions, but I have time to answer them all. We're all raising our hands. Yeah. You can go first. Billy, your hand's raised, though. You can't raise your hand. Bing and Tuck are fighting now. Okay, I'll go first. Yeah, Billy? Okay, so, what about Morris Wadge? How did he become a wizard? Morris was born, um, born a wizard. Born of human parents. And he was a wizard to begin with.

So, he had a longer period of time to harness his abilities. Is that why he was such a better wizard than you? Well, um, hold the fuck on. Yeah, that fanny pack was wide off the chain. And it felt like it was just something that he did in his spare time. Oh my god. It was so effortless. And the drawer was so comfortable. That was not, it was not effortless. It took for fucking ever. Whereas, like, your whole thing was frogs. My whole thing was creating an entire sentient species.

And then Bullywugs was the result of that. Yeah. How many sentient species have you made, Tuck? Shut the fuck up. And then he lifts the axe. You did. Dude, this thing did that. He's got you there, pal. But I gave them sentience with my love. Oh my god. Spirit stuff is cheating. It's not the same thing. Excuse me? Billy makes sentient species all the time. Whenever he plays with little grass figurines. Yeah, it's honestly pretty easy. Oh my god. I shit out a sentient being this morning.

For coffee. Ugh. Okay. I have another question. Uh-huh. Put my hand up. Yeah. Yeah. When you say that it was a cosmological, cosmological, cosmic event, did it come from the sky? Did something come down? That is a question that many a wizard has asked over the generations. And it's kind of just like, what's a good way to… Actually, I can see Billy picking up some dice. He wants to Spout Lore. Yeah, 2d6 plus intelligence, Billy. Oh, shit. Seven. Seven. Do I have any intelligence? No. Seven.

All right. It's the same. Yeah, it'll be nine no matter what. Fuck. Yeah. Can two people add? Shit. No, we can't. No. Can I add one… Nope. …point for being… Can you take a… So smart. Yeah. Bet you wish you fucking moved your stats around now when we leveled up. I do. I do. You promised everybody that we would never get one intelligence. I know. So once I… When I asked…

Paul, if he wanted to move any stats around for Vang, I was staring at the zero underneath his intelligence, and I was like, Willing it to be one. Please, please, please, please. You were like, No, I'm good. I was like, Fuck. He's a sage with no intelligence. I know. It's the best. So interesting, but not useful. He's trying to think of an analogy, and he's like, Okay, what's the best way to describe it?

You know how sometimes, like, on a side, a sidewalk, a paving stone, like a flower will grow from the crack. Yeah. So for that to happen, a seed had to end up somehow in the soil of the crack. Water had to somehow water it while the sun hit it in just the right way for that flower to grow. Yeah. And that's all kind of random, right? No, it follows the theory of nature. Okay. Not a great analogy. You know how, like, when I make my under the bed hamburger, helper, Yeah. It needs. Yes, I am.

There are ingredients. There's the hamburger. There is the helper, but it needs to be, like, just the perfect amount of musty in the room to kind of get that moisture attention. And it needs to be like the right amount of time, which is different every time you have to constantly check on it. And then eventually it is under the bed hamburger helper. You know that how it's kind of random how that happens. Well, yes, because you don't have a lot of cooking skill. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Okay.

You're absolutely right. And he's like not being mean at all. He's just he's like, yes. And Perel doesn't take that personally. He's like, correct. Exactly what I'm getting at. Mm hmm. That's why it's such a special thing. The under the bed hamburger helper, because it doesn't work out most of the time. And when it does, it's a gift from the universe. Well, I am the hamburger of the helper. Yes. Yes. There you go. Do you understand? Do you understand?

There was no choice made to make the hamburger helper under the bed, but I became the hamburger with the help of the helper. So what's the helper then? Tuck says, engaging in the analogy. And what's the must under the bed? Yeah. These are all great questions. There are theories abounding, but nobody knows. And why do why is there sometimes just tissues in the hamburger helper? Oh, that's a really crusty kind of tissue. Sometimes I find. Oh, my God. Who can we talk to about this? Farrah.

Farrah knows more. Farrah knows everything. All of the people that you could talk to about this subject are dead. That can't be true. We're in a library of internal knowledge. Yeah. And Aquaria is still alive. Wait, is Morris dead? I actually don't remember if you guys even ever talked to Perel about Aquaria being alive. No. Yeah. We always had the wizard notebook. Oh, right. So he knows that we're aware of Aquaria. Aware of Aquaria.

And he would have just assumed that it was because of the notebook that we could see. I see. Yeah. You guys never actually mentioned that you met her. We've never talked to him about meeting her in the tower. Oh. We haven't? Really? And maybe it happened off screen, but maybe it didn't. Yeah. Right. What the fuck do you mean Aquaria is alive? We met her. She's breathing. She was in her chamber. She survived? Yeah, kind of. In a way. Yeah. What? Do you tell me everything?

Well, there was a dumb frog room full of stupid puzzles. That's not… Okay. All right. So you were there for sure then. Yeah. Super easy thing to get through. So easy. Oh, man. But then there was Morris's wild room. That was inside the maze. That was fucking… There was almost literally no way out of it. Did you meet that stupid fucking accordion? Oh, God. Yeah. The golem. That was creepy. Oh, my God. Embarrassing. So scary. And then we found some fun books. Yeah.

We found some books in Aquaria's room, including some of your notebooks. Yeah. We found your notebook. That's what… I think Farrah has it now. Why did none of you ever tell me this? I don't know. I forgot. You forgot to mention that one of my best friends in the world survived when I thought that she was dead. We thought you were the one that put her there. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Where? Where? Where? In the Sea of Graves? In the Sea of Graves. I have to go. In the Moss Tower.

I have to go there. Why? Because she is… And he's pointing at the three of you. You know? Wait. Can we give him… I want to give him the moss that we got from Aquaria's Tower. Oh, the moss. The moss. I have the moss. Can we give him the moss? He can talk with the moss and commute with the moss. I can see what… Yeah. So you have… Has he seen this moss before? I don't think so, because it's… It's like in… It's in a little crystal window. In his chest. In his chest. In his chest.

He may have just never really like… I mean, I have moss in my arms. He doesn't know that it's Aquarius. Okay. Yeah. She… She… She gave me this. And his little chest cave opens up. A piece of crystal kind of decrystallizes. You know, it goes back all crystal-y. Mm-hmm. And he pulls out the little chunk of blue moss and says, Here, this is a piece of Aquaria. And he lets you put it in his hand. And he very shakily… His hands are like vibrating.

And he's like, And he is just like holding it in his hand. And you can see it like spread out around his finger, kind of in a ring shape. Oh. And he stares out into the middle distance for a second. And he goes, Aquaria. And he just sinks down onto the floor. Oh. And you can see tears in his eyes. Oh. Uh-oh. Oh, no. I put my blue blanket over him. And he is just crying. But he… He's smiling. Oh. You can hear him talking. Oh. Yeah. He's communicating with her right now.

So the moss is connecting him with her? Mm-hmm. Whoa. Oh, my God. Maybe he's breathing deep like she was. Yeah. Yeah. You can hear the like… And he's just crying. He's gonna be like this for a while. Yeah. Can we hear what… Some of the stuff he says? I think this has been such a huge emotional shock for him just in a short amount of time. And he's right now, he's just sobbing. Aw. Maybe we should go… Yeah. And give him privacy. Mm-hmm. And then check back in with him later. Yeah.

That makes sense. Okay. So you leave Perel alone to his reunion. You can hear the quiet sobs like through the door to his quarters. And then like every once in a while, a soft laughter. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Reminiscing. All right. So should we… Like Perel doesn't seem to know much about like… The wizard stuff. But Farrah might. Because she was… Yeah. Remember last season, Tuxes? Back in the spring, Farrah was…

When she gave that talk about magic, she said that she was like the foremost scholar on wizard stuff in the world. Did she say that? Yeah. Fuck. That's good to know. It's a great idea. Mm-hmm. And we gave her Perel's journal. So she's probably like read it a few times. Yeah. She's probably been studying. Yeah. Yeah, probably. Probably should get that back for Perel. Plus, she might have an idea about the knife that was used on Roth. Mm-hmm. And me. It's a good idea. Yeah.

Might be a little bit outside her wheelhouse, but definitely worth asking. If studies of like wizard history and thaumaturgy are her like focuses, she still has like a gajillion minors, right? Like she's… Yeah. A master librarian. Yeah. So you find Farrah… What time of day is it? It's the morning. It's the morning. It's the morning. It's the morning. It's the morning. It's the morning. It's the morning. It's the morning. It's the morning. It's the morning.

She's actually giving a talk right now. Oh, yes. Cool. Shit. I shouldn't have said that. Yes. I was just like, what's a thing that she hasn't been doing for a while? But yeah, she's giving a talk in one of the primary auditoriums. Oh, and it's that thing that you see in movies sometimes where it's like someone like walks in and sits at the back of the room. Yeah. Or it's like you hear the door creak open. Yeah. And she's mid-sentence and she's got… There's rows of seating carved out.

That looks like this was, you know, maybe a sort of quarry situation when this was still a mine system. I like that. Yeah. So they're carved out in like a tiered shape and she's at the bottom facing the students, but she has one of those sunstone projectors and it's projecting images onto the wall. Whoa. And she's talking about… What's she talking about? Within the realm of, let's say, thaumaturgy. Is it basically a chance for us to cheat a spell or… Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Magic is bestowed upon wizards. Yeah. I know. How the cosmos… Yeah. Aligns. Aligns in such a way to create… It mixes with the environment. Shut up. Okay. How do you get wizards their magic back? Getting their magic… Wizards getting their magic back and how to do it right now. Yeah. For dummies. For dummies. You're going to need the Thumb Dumper. Okay. Okay.

I don't want to be the guy that like pulls the rug out from under you after I just said a thing. It might be too convenient if she's giving a talk.

Talk on thaumaturgy so what's an interesting subject that she could be giving a talk on maybe giants like giant history yeah the history of the giant empires that would be cool or dragons maybe just because of all this new stuff that they found out oh it might be a talk on like dragon biology now that they've had a chance to study black spire for a while oh yeah shit yeah like they're presenting new information what's touching touching you as far ah um the dragon thing I think probably makes the most sex sense uh yeah I said sex what do you want well now I want sex I know why do you think I said it we're all horny paul we've been stuck in this fucking house for hours we're all for one hour for one hours uh yeah so dragon biology she's giving a talk on dragon biology um and the mutable nature of dragons based on their uh mineral intake and environments yeah so she's actually projecting onto the wall a very detailed surprisingly detailed biology diagram of black spire oh and you can see him laid out um you know it's like a side view it's like a top down and then it's like him with his legs uh spread out what the fuck they weren't texas everybody stops and turns like everybody stops and turns and turns and turns and turns and turns and turns and turns and turns and turns and turns and turns and turns and turns and turns and turns and turns You hear that sound of like two dozen bodies shifting at once.

Sorry, fuck. Tuck's face goes so red. And Farah just, she's wearing little glasses and she just adjusts them a little bit and looks at you. And Tuck shrinks down in his chair a little bit and points at Ving. And he says, please continue. Thank you. And she continues talking. And she's saying, we discovered this specimen that had hatched in another location but found itself in a giant tomb for, we believe, upwards of a hundred years.

And in that time, it fed extensively and exclusively on the bones of the giants interred within. Over time, that mineral intake and the lack of size in its environment led to it developing a smaller but stockier physiological state. Pretty. And I just, it's kind of fucked up for her to like show those nudie pics of Black Spire and then call him fat in front of everybody. Well, you're saying it like it's a bad thing. No, Billy, no. Obviously, I don't mean it like a bad thing.

But I mean, I've never announced that you are fat in front of a group of 200 people. I just don't think that he would want to be splayed out and displayed. Yeah, you can see his balls-os. Look at him, he looks upset in those photos. You hear that? You hear, shh. You shush, shh. You shush. And there's like a 17-year-old librarian in front of you with a notebook going, shh. And I go, tell me your name. No, tell me. Shut up. And I put my foot up on the back of his chair.

I'm like, tell me your name. Why? I just don't want to know. I'm trying to learn. I don't fucking care. Tell me your name. Fuck. Learn with ears, not with your shush. No. Come on, tell me your name. Okay. Okay. Fuck you. Fuck you. That's my name. Okay, fine. And then Tuck pushes his leg forward and reclines with his legs up on the back of this guy's chair. And he pushes back against it. Doesn't move it at all, of course, because you're literally 10 times this guy's size.

The Tuck is, his first time in a classroom, he's immediately found the perfect role as a bully. He's like, oh, this is what classrooms are. I'm at the back of the room. I can't believe Fatim was so mean to me. All that. I'm at time. I just got closure. So now I get to pay it forward. Closure. Oh, that's what closure means. And this kid will just like scoot forward in his seat and try and like hunch over and continue writing notes. And this talk will continue. I want to ask questions. Oh, yeah.

Okay. So what she's saying right now, because you guys listen to Tuck bully a kid for a little bit, is she is saying most incredibly, one of the more, striking changes in this giant's physiology is, uh, it's, oh, fuck. Giant? I'm sorry. I believe you mean dragon, madam. Please continue. You see her breathe in very deeply, calmingly. One of the more striking changes in this dragon's biology is, uh, how its environment affected the application of its breath weapon.

Whereas most dragons tend to expel superheated air, or flame. This one is capable of storing molten stone derived from its mineral intake in a specialized sack inside of its belly that it can then expel in an offensive and defensive ways. Is Billy going to ask a question? Billy wanted to, but he's all embarrassed now. No, ask Billy, Billy, ask your question. There's no silly questions. Just stupid people. It's okay to ask questions. I actually, Jessica don't know what to ask it. Oh, that's fine.

Reflex. Yeah. You lift your hand up. And her goes, yes, nothing. And most of this is something that tuck and, and Ving might notice most of the librarians that turn around and see Billy, they go, ah, like they get like excited. Billy's become in the last few months, like sort of a minor celebrity in the library because people think he's really cute and he's a fairy. So they're like, interest. This is amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Are people been like asking you, probably? Oh yeah. Oh my God.

And he doesn't even realize it. Billy's been the subject of study for months. Yeah. Slides of splayed Billy up here. Oh, probably. Oh, yeah. It's it cuts to a slide another time. And it's a picture of Billy, like, ha doing poses in the shower. When you, you know, when you're like, uh, have the towel on your butt, when you're scrubbing your butt, just doing like little dances, like for all intents and purposes, he appears to be a regular, if not precocious and very, very, very, very, very, Yes.

Billy. Hi Farrah. I have a question. My question is where do dragons come from? That's an interesting question. Uh, from what we have discovered, dragons have been found and recorded all over the world. Do you guys want me to talk or do you want to do this sex? Joe Farrah says that at me cause I'm laughing. I'm like, sorry, big as doing a, penis in vagina motion at me. Vink stands up, sorry, and he shows the class to be demonstrative. I would say 20% of them laugh when you do the sex move.

20% not bad. Pretty good. I high five them. There's dozens. You are more than welcome to audit this talk, but if you choose to be disruptive, I'd have to ask you to leave. And there goes Farrah. I'm sorry. I'm genuinely sorry. Tell us more about his molten sack or whatever. We'd moved on from that. Thank you. Please pay attention or leave.

From what we have discovered, dragons, of course, have not been cited in great numbers for over a hundred years, but they have been recorded and found all over the world. But from what we can tell, most dragon species are indigenous to a mountain range far to the north known as the White Cloud Mountains. Wow. And perhaps a thousand years ago, trade in dragon eggs became quite popular, which led to populations across the globe. Yes. That is terribly interesting. Ving here. Druid. Elementalist.

And he puts his little glasses on Sage. Takes his glasses off. Oh my God. I was wondering. Yes, we all know of the dragon eggs in distribution, but where does the eggs come from? From whence what hole from whence? So there's eggs. Yes. Where are these eggs coming from? Dragons. So they come out of clack them. Is it much like a chicken? Most dragons do do breed with a sort of cloacal system similar to birds. Yes. So like birds do dragons have no penises?

Like I said, most dragons do breed with a cloacal system similar to birds. That answers the question. No, no, no. Tuck says we saw his balls. We saw him. I find that extremely difficult to believe. No, actually, Mrs. Abdulna, we explicitly said that we saw his balls when? That's fine. Like episode four of season eight. Why would a dragon have balls? Well, he did. He did. Oh my God. Unless there's something else like those lava sacks, but they looked like balls. Yeah, they look like balls.

Okay, so they can still have external testes, but maybe their mating system is still a cloacal. Oh, yeah, that would make sense. Most male dragons, the testes are external because the great internal temperatures in a dragon do potentially lead to damage of the reproductive organs. So they are air cooled in most cases, but in terms of actual reproduction and mating, it is a system quite strikingly similar to avian life forms. Do the dragons only… Hi, Ving Sage, librarian.

Friend to speaker of the word people. And other librarians are putting up their hands and then one of you fucking assholes talks and they put their hands back down. So do you know anything about the mating habits? In terms of mating rituals? Mating rituals and habits of dragons leading up… Do they… Is it interspecies play? Like, do different dragons make different dragons? Oh, I see what you mean.

All dragons start from an almost identical infant form and then based on their environment become exceptionally different through their lifestyle. Oh, beautiful. It's similar to domestic cats, whereas breeds are hard to track because the parentage of cats doesn't necessarily lead to similar breeding. You know what I mean? She says very casually. Do you understand? Yes. All dragon eggs, begin the same, but you never know what dragon you're going to have through its pubescent stages. Yes, Billy.

I have a second question, Farrah. Does the little dragon fly? So cute. That is the cutest question. Everybody… I know that like 99% of the librarians in the room go, oh my god, he's so fucking cute. And even Farrah's like, not initially, not right away. It's not immediately after hatching that they are capable of flight, but usually within 7 to 10 days they are capable of using their wings to find sources of food. Yes, Billy. What I meant is, does that little dragon fly?

And I point to the pictures of Black Spire. Oh, Black Spire. This dragon, who's… His name, through extremely convenient means, we have determined to be from Night's Embrace of Black Spire Rises. And a few librarians… You hear Bulko in the audience here go, that's fucking sick. Metal is fuck. It's fucking cool as hell. Yeah. I'm changing my book's tattoo. That's sick. This guy is going to get a tattoo. I do love Bulko.

Because his environment from infancy to adult hood was contained and quite restrictive. His body never developed the support structure muscularity-wise to enable flight. So his wings are mostly used in a type of threat display, which is fascinating. Cool. Thank you. You're welcome. And the talk continues. More people ask questions about, you know, like… I'm going to say, two people get a question in before Tuck has another question. Tuck was busy drawing this. Pretty cool.

This is Tuck on the back of Black Spire, but there wasn't enough room, so I drew his face here and I tried to draw him sitting up here, but it ended up just looking like Tuck. I started saying this to the guy sitting next to me. Oh, you're saying this to the guy sitting next to you? Or sitting… Bing? Or the guy… No, the guy on the other side of me. Whoa, that's, uh… Really distracting. Thank you. Yeah, no problem. Just wanted to, you know, share my fucking art with someone for once.

Okay, alright. And I push his papers on his chest. Whoa, hey, hey, hey. Okay, fine. And he pushes one of his papers in your direction and you see a little drawing of Black Spire. Oh, sick. Yeah, right? Yeah, you got his balls in that one. That was good. I thought it was important. And they're funny. Okay, yeah. Unless you guys have any other questions, I do have a question. Okay, alright. That's why I raised my hand. Uh-huh. Okay, Farrah? Yes.

You said that he ate giant bones and now he's, like, made of giant bones, right? In not so many words. Sort of a simplification, but sure. You know how you and me were talking about how, like, giants were… Yeah, I do recall you and I had that sort of lunchtime meeting where we were discussing dragon physiology. Uh… Okay. Okay. Well, then… Uh… My follow-up on that… She's, like, she basically… She stopped you. Okay. Yeah, she stopped you from talking about the coins. Okay. Yeah.

Oh, no. I wasn't gonna ask about the coins. Well, you're asking about, uh, giants and their ability to, like, mitigate demon possession and stuff like that? Yeah. She stops you from talking about that. Okay, okay. Because that was gonna be my question. She's like, is he immune to demons? Yeah, she stops you 100%. Okay. She sees what your question is gonna be and stops you. Okay, and I'm like, alrighty. Draw an X through this question.

I'm like, okay, my other question is what happened 100 years ago that made all the dragons go away? Ah, that is a sad business. Um, as dragons became more prolific, the value inherent in their mineral scales became very apparent to organizations and nations around the world and dragon hunting was a very successful and sought-after business.

So many dragons found themselves on the unfortunate end of warrior prospectors, which led to dragons not being able to find mates, not being able to lay their own clutches, and not growing to sizes sufficient necessary to defend themselves. Oh. Bummer. She ignores that. And yeah, unless you guys have any other questions, the talk will… Is there anything else that you three want to know? I'm just kind of waiting to talk to her after the thing. Yeah.

Smash cut to that thing you've seen in a million school movies where the students are filtering out and she's addressing some final questions as people are leaving. I saw it as like everybody's leaving and everyone's standing up and like slowly the crowd parts and she sees us at the back of the room with our hands with our hands still up. Um, just one more thing. And she rubs the bridge of her nose in stress and then cut to her office. Why did you stop me from asking that demon question?

She closes her door. I'm sure that you are well aware of the fact that it was just discovered that the leader of the militant arm of the Church of the Flame had been possessed by a demon for who knows how long and that there is some sort of conspiracy involving demons and those who wish their power, theirs, to chain the world, I believe was the quote. Right. The dark guard. So stop talking about it. Okay, I will. I'm… I'm… I'm sorry. It's… I'm sorry. It's just I've been under a lot of…

I've… A lot of stress lately. Our discussion the other day has left me with a lot to think about. This information remains within our circles. And I don't mean the library. I mean us. Okay. Me and you. And Perel, I suppose. If vital. Okay. I promise I'll keep it under wraps. Thank you. Oh, we were… You probably let her know about Perel. Oh. I guess Perel is sort of… He… It is mandatory he knows all this stuff because he just found out that a wizard friend is alive.

And, you know, like how you have Aquaria in Perel's journal. Aquaria is alive. Yeah. She takes her glasses off and throws them on her desk. You should be really careful with your eyewear. Wow. The ability that you three have to walk into my office and change the course of history is truly staggering. Okay. Well, wonderful. She sits down. And she leans back in a very unfair way. Yeah. Where she's got her like hand… Her head resting on her hand. Oh.

So, our theory about the increase in demonic activity over the last several decades is directly linked to the lack of thaumaturgists currently living. And we also know now that there is one currently living. Oh, yeah. Good point. That could solve that problem. Solve? No. That could supplement the knowledge of perhaps. Wow. How is Perel taking it? They were close. Yeah. We weren't really aware of that. We're giving him time. It's all… She holds up.

She opens a drawer in her desk and picks up the journal that Perel, Aquaria, and Morris shared. It's all in. Did you never… Oh, you read that? Yes. It's handwritten by three wizards. Yeah. We look through. Dude, there's mostly just pictures of frogs. It didn't seem that interesting. There are formulae in here that are of untold value. Oh, you sound like Perel right now. It's amazing that you three live in a fucking library. Well, it's not my fault. I can't really read. So, I did my best.

You do get a pass, Billy. You do get a pass on this. All right. Be that as it may, Aquaria, Perel, and Morris were extremely close. Like how close? Like, manaja? Are they close? There's not direct… Like, of course, it's not their extensively transcribed backstories or anything like that. It's mostly correspondence.

But I get the idea that the three of them were very close friends to the point where they frequently had vicious arguments about philosophy and their stances on life, but still held a great respect for one another. I believe there may have been some romantic overtones in some aspects of… Some of the relationships. But I believe that is a question that you should leave to Perel himself. I think his sobbing spoke volumes in that direction. Billy, I believe you had a question? Yeah.

In the book, is there anything that says how Perel became a wizard? Does he talk about that at all? He does. He makes passing references to the event. From what I can tell, it holds fairly true with a number of accounts that I've read over the years. Mm-hmm. The creation of some wizards, or the… Creation isn't even the correct word. Bestowment? Bestowment, appearance, emergence is maddeningly random from all that I can tell.

Some wizards are, like we have said, born as infants with their abilities. There are some stories which I don't believe hold much weight of people gaining the powers after a mighty… Feats of heroism or sacrifice. After near-death experiences. Near-death experiences. There is a pretty striking story about that. Some are sprung fully formed. No parents to speak of. Just appear one day. And others, like Perel, their powers emerge at seemingly random times.

Perel, of course, a man in his early to mid-40s, from what I can tell. There are stories of people in late, late stages of life. There's a story of a dwarf who was nearly 900 years old who suddenly became a wizard. Some of an 11-year-old human child who gained these abilities suddenly. And from what adherents to the study of thaumaturgy have discovered, those events nearly escape explanation. In all the accounts that you've heard, you haven't noticed a pattern.

There's no correlation between individuals. People have attempted everything. The movement of the planetary spheres. The life and death of stars. Seasonal changes. Environmental effects. There must be a leading theory. The theory is that they are bestowed those powers when their presence is required. If there is an imbalance elsewhere, that power is used to set the scales. That's the only theory we have. Nature finds a way. In a sense, yes. So a need. It's not a need. It's more of a void.

It's water rushing to fill a space. And if that were an event that was capable of reproduction, why has it not happened now? Right. Wizards left and no new ones have happened. As far as we're aware. Perhaps they have happened. And perhaps those individuals remain hidden and out of sight. Perhaps they do not understand what they are. If there was a way to… To… To force that sort of event. I do not know what it is. Well, yeah.

I guess this is important to us because we need to help Perel get his power back. It seemed… That he's lost everything. Right, yeah. He's told us that he lost his family. And I guess without that, all he had was his power. So it's important to us to find a way to help him get it back. Yeah. I understand. And if I could… I would… Like, don't mistake me.

I have been poring over volume after volume of thaumatological theory in an attempt to find even a shred of a clue of an inkling to point you in the right direction. But thus far, I've come up nothing. There is maybe an alternate way that we've found… Yes? What do you know of the knife used to transform Roth? Very little. The ways of the Magi are secret even by librarian standards. The texts that they record their rituals and beliefs in are, from what we can tell, one of a kind. Unreproduced.

Any records of what they do are singular, and I imagine aggressively guarded. Should we tell her? Yeah. Yeah, we should tell her. Should we say this to each other? Should we tell her? Yeah. We should tell her, probably. Tell me what? Well, okay. So with my pinky promise that I made with Roth, or was it Roth? No, the other one, Urk. So with the pinky promise that I made with Urk, he said that he was going to bring us a book from the Magi that was used during… The ritual that Ving went through.

And so far, he has not betrayed me, and he promised with his life and his soul that he would bring it back to us and not tell anybody or betray me, or else I would know. You have someone attempting to recover one-of-a-kind manuscripts recording ancient and lost rituals and ceremonial beliefs. Yes. I will give you whatever you need to recover those books and bring them to me. Oh, okay. I will think about this. Five dollars a day. Yeah. Plus expense. Each. Each. And dental. And health…

Extend health benefits. Whoa, Billy, where did you learn those words? I don't know. Ving at work, he's always saying those. Yes. Nice. Fist bump. Fist bump. Yeah, so she is like, I will, whatever resources you require, I will make available to you. We just have to like hang out here for a little longer, I think. Do you know perhaps where they might have met? Do you have any ideas of locations that the Magi have undertaken rituals or meeting places? Yes. Where? How have you not told me this?

I mean, Farrah, I don't know if you noticed, but whenever we want to talk to you, you act like we're annoying. So maybe we just don't want to talk to you sometimes. Yes. You're kind of doing it right now. That is fair. I don't know if you're getting as tired as we are of having your mind blown every time we have a conversation. I am. I am. Okay. Well, okay. Tell me, tell me everything. And she sits down and she grabs a notepad and she opens it up and grabs a pen.

And then Ving takes an iPod and pulls up, it's a few episodes ago of Spellor, and puts his headphones, puts his headphones on. And he's like, I'll just, yeah, you just get it from what we said before. And I think that's, I think that's where we're going to end it. Okay. Right now. I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara. Thank you for joining us for this extremely exposition heavy episode of Spellor. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long, everybody.

Playing Ving, the half elf druid, elementalist, sage, Paul Loppers. Take care. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reed of Vancouver Sunday Service for his incredible intro and outro music. And thank you to all of you, our amazing Patreon supporters and just new supporters. Thanks for listening.

If you want to learn more about the show and get access to hours upon hours upon hours of audio content, monthly video streams, live games, postcards, merchandise, the whole fucking shebang, go to patreon.com slash Spellor, or you can find us online at Spellor most places. See you next time.

And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you alone We will not leave you alone We will not leave you without a resolution We'll return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly spell more

Hey, Spoutlorians, Abdul here with a quick Patreon announcement. We are implementing some changes to Patreon. First things first, we are introducing a brand new level called The Wizard. This level is a $300 tier. It entitles you to a monthly game GM'd by none other than everyone's favorite GM, Sean O'Hara. As of right now, that tier is restricted to only two slots, and I believe one of those slots is actually already gone. So make sure you jump on that if you want it.

The other change we're making is we are actually kicking off the Speltlor Almanac, where patrons at the $25 level will start to receive PDF pages of assignments, Speltlor's sourcebook, and that'll include maps, drawings, travel logs, all sorts of information and background on the world that we have created.

So if you're interested in either of those, or in any of the other awesome Patreon benefits that we have over on our Patreon, like extra audio content, video content, merch, custom artwork by the cast, handmade gift boxes, head on over to patreon.com slash speltlor, or speltlor.com slash speltlor. Thanks a lot, and enjoy the episode. Speltlor's Home Hello, everybody, and welcome to Speltlor.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara, and joining me as always, playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello there. Playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello. And playing Fat Billy the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes, Billy having absolutely devastated his relationship with Farah Margani, master librarian of the Margani Library, after stealing and then losing, a book from the library, decided that it was time for him to head out on his own.

A little Billy side quest, specific little episode, just to himself. And he left the library under the cover of darkness, followed immediately by Tuck and Ving, who realized that he was leaving the second he decided to pretend not to leave. He had his traveling backpack on, not his sleeping backpack. Yeah. That was the trick, is the sleeping backpack is a lot softer. Yeah.

And meeting some sandboat drivers with big personalities, the two groups independently went to McCall, Billy knocking out his sandboat driver, Bolko, and heading off into the city on his own, meeting up very briefly with Petunia the rat and the sticks before climbing up the side of the lighthouse of McCall, Tuck and Ving, absolutely ruining a farmer's night. And made possible the rest of his life. Yeah. Identity crisis. Really fucked with him emotionally.

Gonna have a lot of questions about the nature of the world. Yeah. Put on some absolute bare bones disguises and snuck into the city themselves before shaving their way into the lighthouse through the shack of Greg, Gregarious Gregory III. Once inside, Billy found Medjai leader, lieutenant, it's hard to say, Roth at the very top of the lighthouse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

For real life years and it's gone now forever tuck and ving made their way into the lighthouse but not before billy alerted roth to his presence and uh a whirlwind chase took place before they realized that by escaping the lighthouse they would be leading roth right into the shack of an old man that they've been taking advantage of so instead they ran to the bottom of the stairs tuck cried out a challenge and roth has met them at the base of the lighthouse of mccall ready to fight he said this ends now his voice spiritually booming through the air yeah and that is where we find our heroes now yeah you know the last thing that you said up top about like the end of the things that we're all collectively doing or whatever that sucked that was a way more impressive very intimidating he cuts you off and he yells enough and he stomps his foot and a huge slab of brick pops out of the ground he punches forward and sends it barreling towards tuck tuck just cuts it with his ass all right defy danger dexterity six billy you can aid by making fun of roth okay so give me that yeah give me what he's doing okay uh billy is just like you know I'm basically like a basketball and I got through your trap so easy honestly if I was thinking you know for more than half a second I probably could have just like disarmed your trap and you wouldn't have even known and like your face is stupid two to six plus bond uh eight okay so that makes it a seven meaning tuck is still probably going to take some damage um but I'll say that you can roll this twice and then take the lowest okay so you're gonna roll a d and you're gonna roll a d and you're gonna roll a d and you're gonna roll a d ten twice six okay so you're gonna take six damage uh as you do slice the brick kind of you break it into a couple chunks but those chunks still nail you in the face and torso oh fuck and he is moving forward to strike again what do you guys do is he within reach of ving um he is yeah you're all kind of like I imagined you sort of together like in a line basically tuck in the middle if I'm roth mm-hmm if I'm roth I realize that you're not gonna be able to do anything you're gonna be able to do anything you're gonna be able to do anything you're gonna be able to do configuration of the room you are in front of me right now tuck in the middle billy to the right of me and ving to the left yes hypothetically hypothetically that's what it is uh but because of what are you waiting for roth is focusing on tuck primarily yeah I'm gonna use um the fact that he's focused on tuck to come at him from this side with a huge gust of air and try and push him back like a windmill kick sick is this just a hack and slash or is this elemental mastery uh this is a fight with to deal damage to a foe within your reach perfect nice four okay he is focused on tuck but as you come in and aim that kick at his head he just dodges right out of the way oh damn like you you maybe clip him in the side and like the cheek as you're moving but it doesn't look like it slowed him down and he's still going for tuck he's now like within arm's reach of me yeah billy what do you do can I create a willow the wisp illusion um like yeah like how much can I do with that he will know right away that it's an illusion like with willow the wisp the ones that you can just do idly are like basically entertainment okay like the the fairy child illusions are convincing you can create a convincing illusion she's used her last billy's used his last fairy child old shit consequences I was trying to think of something that like fuck if it isn't the consequences of my actions it's so tough uh just because we have a bunch of sheets let me see if I can remember the kind of stuff that billy's got going on you've got poison probably you have a dagger that has a poison reservoir unless you lost that no I still have it oh yeah I'm going to try throwing that dagger with the poison in it okay if I remember correctly it was the previous poison was depleted during the fight with the light guard so you might need to um refill it no I actually already refilled it oh wait yeah it says three doses of poison and then you can pour a ton of poison in it and pour a ton of poison in it and pour a ton of poison in it and pour a ton of poison in it and pour a ton of poison Three doses of poison.

Yes. And you might have used those three doses. Because remember, Shia gave you three doses of her garden snake venom. So you will have a different poison. Okay. What other poisons did you have with you? Do you remember? I have two uses of oil of taget. Oil of taget puts people to sleep. Do you think that Billy, honestly, Jessica, narratively, do you think that Billy has since refilled his dagger with poison? Oh, yeah. He loves to play with hazardous materials.

And he had so much time at the library. So he was like filling up everything. Like a toddler, you love to fill up containers. Yeah, that's true. Okay. All right. I'll accept that. There's a flashback to like Billy sitting on one of the desks that Perel is like studying at. And he's just like, bloop, bloop. Yeah. Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. Billy, can you focus, please? Sorry. And then Perel takes the oil of taget and then takes it, wipes his eye, and then just immediately passes out.

Face first on the desk. Now you've learned to not touch my stuff. So, yeah, I've got two. So I'm going to use my dagger and I'm going to aim it at Roth's chest. Okay. Because I'm really mad. Perfect. So something to consider with oil of taget is that it does put the target into a light sleep. So it's not going to knock him out for long. That's okay. But it might knock him out for a bit. That's fine. It's all we need. Two to six plus dexterity. Jesus Christ. Holy shit. Yeah. Nice, Billy. Okay.

Sick. So he's reaching out for Tuck. Like, he doesn't even have an element ready to go. He's just reaching out with his bare hands. And just before he gets his hands on the axe, a dagger just whips up from the side and slices him right across his bare chest. And he grits his teeth and he's still struggling with you. And then you see his eyes flutter and he starts stumbling backwards. And I want to take him because he's holding the axe now. Yeah. Okay. I take him where I pull.

I take him in and I then whip him over my head and then slam him into the ground behind me. All right. Because Billy has knocked him out, you're just going to roll your damage. Sweet. He's at your mercy. He's like, he's actively falling asleep. Okay. Eight. Nice. So he sails through the air in an arc and slams down on the ground. You could see, like, blood coughs up for a second as he hits the ground. As soon as he hits the ground. And Tuck's like, oh, shit. Are you okay? He's for now.

The poison is coursing through his veins. So he is on the edge of sleep. He's not getting up right now, but he will be very soon. What do you do? Oh, man. He's at your mercy. Basically. Can we? Should we? Okay. This is disgusting. What is our strat right now? Do we want to run or do we take him prisoner? I mean, when he wakes up, he's going to have so many things. In his arsenal. That's true. Anything around him. Yeah. Anything. Like, my stupid magic doesn't do anything to his.

He's way better at it than I am. He's just going to keep coming for us. Billy, can you put him to sleep with your sleep spells? Yeah, I can. He's already asleep. I think fairy dust doesn't do much to somebody that's already asleep. Okay. If we affect his tattoos at all, would that do anything? Affect how? Oh. I mean, nothing too violent. Like, tattoo over them? No. Turn them into penises. Yeah. Do something else. Oh, Billy, can you switcheroo his tattoos? Can I do that?

I don't think a tattoo is something you can physically remove from a person like that. Okay. That won't work. Yeah. A voice whispers in your head, we could just kill him. I don't want to kill this guy. Who is that? Oh, that was me. Sorry. Billy. Well, you know, I'm pretty tired. And, like, my patience is wearing thin. Understandably. Should we just kill him? I don't know. Is that us? To kill a sleeping man? It feels weak. Oh, man. We're all just digging around our backpacks. Yes.

As Roth is, like, actively struggling against the effects of the tagging oil. Stab him again, Billy. Okay. So I run and grab my knife. And I'm like, I think there's, like, one use left, maybe. Like, I'm like, it's, like, dripping out. I'm like, all right. Yeah. You just dose him again. Again? Yeah. I just, like, I just, like, let it drop into the cut already. Because it feels weird to cut someone who can't fight back. Yeah. So I'm just shaking it into the wound.

I'm like, oh, that probably stings a lot. All right. No more oil of tag it. And you can see Roth is, like, struggling. And then he settles down a little bit. But that's bought you some time. Not a ton. What's the assassin vine milk? That's from seasons ago. That's a paralytic. Oh, sick. Sweet. Amazing. That's a paralytic poison. That's a paralytic poison. That you've never done anything with. And, in fact, would probably be rancid. No way. Things last forever in mason jars. You know that.

It just gets better with age. Yeah. Okay. Hypothetically. Depending on the role. Yeah, exactly. But, Ving, you're, like, yeah, you are digging through your satchel, I guess. Digging through all your jars. And you find a little tiny mason jar that's full of a hardened sap of some kind. Oh, my God. Okay. We just need to juice this sap up. Spout Lore about this assassin vine milk. Yeah. How to reconstitute it. Oh. Well, yeah. Ving's knowledge of plants yielded 11. 11. Holy shit.

Interesting and useful. What you do know about assassin vine sap, which is, like, for the assassin vine, which is a weird borderline intelligent, like, carnivorous vine, it uses the sap as both a blood and a venom. And it does maintain its paralytic quality for some years after it's removed from the vine. And the enzymes in human saliva can reactivate it. Like, make it. Make it a pasty liquid again without getting rid of the paralytic qualities. Okay.

Ving takes a little swab of his little pant bottom there and swabs the guy's mouth. He doesn't want to use his own spit. It's really hot out here. He's going to. When he wakes up, he's going to be so cotton, man. And then, yeah, gets a drop out. Yeah. Just fills this slash across his chest with this stuff. Yeah. Go ahead and cross that off. I'm going to say it's old enough that you have to use basically all of it. Yeah. And, yeah, you.

Just mush it into Roth's cut that Billy just smushed another poison into. I'm just piling things in this guy's wounds. Yeah. And one of you, probably Ving, off in the corners of your mind, think, I wonder what mixing all these poisons in a person's body does. Oh. I'm not an anesthesiologist. I don't know. Yeah. I kind of want a role to determine how well this is going to work. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. Maybe. Defy danger intelligence. Oh, shit. Yeah. That makes sense to me.

Like medical knowledge. Yeah. Yeah. Defy danger intelligence. Six. Oh, Billy can aid if you want. Yeah. I can't think of how I would help in this situation. You've been alive way longer. Eight. Yeah. So basically you just do it. You mash it in there and Billy's like, yeah, it should do something. It might make it better. Might make it worse. Might make it the same. And you mush it in there. And, yeah, he stops. He's struggling against the effects of the oil of tag it.

And you can see his muscles like spasming a little bit. And then he is like not moving very much. But you can still see like cramps basically as his body is. Is he breathing? He's breathing shakily. Like his chest is like, but he's immobile right now. He's not trying to kill you. I put a blanket under his head. At least. I feel a little bad there. Should we take him back to the library? Yes. Yeah, I guess so. Oh, fuck. Damn it. More prisoners by the minute. Yeah.

So you don't know how long this is going to last for one. So if you're going to get him back to the library, you're going to want to move. Oh, Bulko's waiting outside for me. Yeah, let's go. That's a generous description of what happened to Bulko. That was really nice of him to wait for you, Billy. Yeah, he definitely like offered to. Okay.

So considering that Roth was the most direct threat that was potentially waiting for you right now in the sticks, you should be able to get him back pretty quickly. Maybe somebody's watching you. Who can say? I'm going to say that you have to go through the way that you were trapped. Because when you go back up to Greg's hole in the wall, the stonecutter bees have started filling that in as well. Oh, nice.

They like having like when they find a little like a good gap in a stone, they're like, Oh, yeah, we're doing this. So that starts to be filled in with like very beautifully intricately weaving stone tubes with that. Ooh, you know what I kind of like? Some of the tubes have little openings and the way they buzz inside. It sounds almost like a pipe organ. Oh, cool. That is really cool. Yeah. Objectively improved Greg's life. Yeah.

Which cancels this out and tuck lifts up the crumpled, barely breathing form of Roth. Yeah. And you can, you know, you're not in any immediate super danger. Again, you're just kind of idly wandering through this ancient superstructure that could hold untold wealth and mysteries. And you just go for the back door. Yeah. Cram your way back up the way you came, avoiding the tripwire. You remember up and out into the sticks and you're just going for the edge of town. Yeah.

I don't think we're trying to be stealthy, right? Nah. No. Like we were heaving a lot of stuff. I think you still, are you still carrying the bag with Terry, Larry and Chad in it? Yeah. I'm still carrying a bag of birdseed. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No, you destroyed it. Yeah. You threw it at him. I had to. You gave. Oh, right. You used your axe. I used his girlfriend. All right. Whatever. So many bags of birdseed. And you're walking through the sticks.

It's like the sun is going to be coming up very soon. And like a jackal, a group of jackals see you carrying Roth through the streets. Good evening. Top of the morning to you. Do we, do we want to know what's going on here? Probably not. All right. No. All right. Carry on. And you find a bulk goes sandboat. Big mama on the edge of town. Hey, bulk. Oh, he's asleep still. Oh, shake him awake. Oh yeah, brother. Hey, you fell asleep there. Oh, did I? Yeah. It's okay though. I'm not mad. All right.

Well, Hey, it's your, it's your dad's. Yeah. They, uh, they came to, uh, bring me my bag. And took takes his little backpack off and it's like, yeah, here you go, Billy. Thanks. Tuck. All right. So we're going back to the library. Who's this? He points at Roth. Oh, this, uh, this is our, uh, uncle prisoner, our uncle prisoner, uncle prisoner. Is that a name or is that two titles? It's probably best. You don't know. And just get us back to the library as fast as we can go. All right. All right.

Understood. And he puts his goggles on. Can we go turbo speed? Oh, we're always going turbo speed. Little guy. Don't worry. Cool. And he, uh, starts piloting it back out into the desert, hits the turbo button, hits his NOS injector and you whoop ass back to the library. The sun starts to rise. Billy, if you want to roll your fairy child, it is a brand new day. Two, eight. And that means I get three holds. Three. Okay. So for the next, yeah. In game day, you have three hold. Okay. Um, yeah.

And you get back to a lane. You get back to a lane springs. Uh, no problem. Hop into the weird, like stables that stands in for the boat launch for the Margani library. And you are back inside. Cool. Bulko gets out. All right. Get put in there, little brother. And he gets down and he gives you one of those, like pulls you in. Yeah. And I slap him like a nice friendly thump on his arm. Yeah. He, cause he pulls you in full on off the ground. Yeah. To his chest. To his whole arm. Yeah.

Like you're a little, like you're a loaf of bread. He's just like, all right, I appreciate you involving me in your adventures. You're welcome. I hope to have another adventure with you, Bulko. And he, he sends you on his way on your way. This guy's going to be handy for sure. Yeah. Hopefully Randy's okay. Wherever he is. Oh, he's probably back inside. Randy's just having breakfast at the cafeteria. We cut to Randy and he's having a very nice omelet with a tea. I sure hope my boat's okay.

Oh, shit. His boat. We did leave it behind. Yeah. A hundred percent. Okay. So what are you guys doing with Roth? Take him to the infirmary. Yeah. And we send someone to get Farrah and also to get ghost route. Yeah. Right. Yes. Okay. So you go meet up in the medical wing. The medical wing we've described before is sort of a operating theater style room. There's like a sunken pit zone where all of the physikers of the library do their work.

And take care of people that have been injured or are experiencing particularly noteworthy or extraordinary illnesses. Mm-hmm. You come down and there is the head physiker of the library. Ooh. A lady. A lady. Maresh Elnor. Just a human woman. Maybe like exceptionally young for being like the head physiker of the library. Yeah. And she's really pretty. Yeah. She's like Dr. TV. Pretty. Pretty. Yeah. It seems like she was called away from like a fancy dinner breakfast. Whoa. Wow. Tuck, don't.

Don't what? I'm not doing anything. You're already doing it. No. So he puts Roth's body in front of his crotch. Oh my God. Like a binder. So yeah. Maresh walks up to you and she is just like, who's this? What's going on? What's going on? You've you've come into my pit with another unconscious person. Yeah. This guy is the head of the Magi or like a general or something. And he was trying to kill us. And then we may be mixed too many drugs when we tried to drug him. So he might be dying.

Uh, but also he can manipulate the elements. So that could be a good thing. Well, yeah, but you're going to have to dose him with ghost roots so that when he comes to, he can't do that. Every time, everything that you say when you're like, this is the head of the Medj. She snaps and she points at somebody and waves them over. Uh, we put a bunch of drugs in his body. She points at somebody else and waves them over. Like she's waving over a person for everything that you say.

And she just like, okay, put them there. It's like, all right, cool. What are you doing after this? Or what? Is there something she's already working? Like a bunch of people swarm the table. I love that. Tuck is still asking while she's busy. It's like, if you wanted to go grab like a coffee or something afterwards, I'll be around. Uh, or a tea. Or whatever.

Somebody takes Roth from you and they lay them on a table and they all walk over to this like little bin and they grab like this little cube of resin and they pop it in their mouths and they just chew it up and they all start working. What, what is that? What kind of snack is that? Somebody, somebody could Spout Lore. If somebody could Spout Lore about this, if they want, because no one's talking to you right now. This is like emergency situation. Yeah. Ving, what does the box say?

What is a cube? Seven. Seven? That's fine. Uh, it's colloquially referred to as, um, physics pitch. What does it do? It basically makes you temporarily immune to illness and infection. Oh, so it's like a self sterilization. Yeah, exactly. It's basically a little resin that's very hard to produce and very expensive to produce, but it makes you temporarily immune to disease and infection. Hey, can I have one of those? Absolutely not. Can I steal one of those? Please clear out of my theater.

I'm sorry. Okay. Yeah, sure. Whatever. Okay. Yeah. I'll be up on the top balcony or whatever. Theater. That's a great idea. You want to go see a movie sometime? Yeah. Ving is also like dibs. No. You didn't say shut the fuck up. You didn't fucking say dibs. I'll kill. No, I don't care. You can't call dibs on a person. I'm a feminist. I know. And I turned to her. I'm like, I'm a feminist.

An orc physiker walks up to you, grabs you both by the fronts of your shirts and starts pushing you towards the stairs. Oh, hey, you're strong. You want to go get a coffee or tea sometime? Or whatever. We're going to be hanging out. You've been bodily removed from the pit. We could go on double dates if you're into it. Farah enters the balcony above the medical theater. I rush over to her. She looks at you not as warmly as you're used to. Sarah, please. I'm so sorry.

And I just want you to know that I have completed the tiring journey of getting the book back for you. She looks at you like surprised. Really? Yeah. I told you I would not rest. Listen, I would give my life before I failed this task. So I give it back to her. Yeah. She kneels down and takes the book from you. I checked. All the pages are there, including the ones I might have drawn on, but I erased those. She ignores that. Billy, I'm very impressed. Thank you for upholding your promise.

No problem. Very tired now. I would understand. Yes. You have not slept in a long time. From what I understand. I will lay down and then I sleep right there. Just lay down on the ground. I will lay down. She sees you tuck and Ving approaching and waves. We wave back. Did you accompany Billy in his quest? Kind of. Yeah. After the fact. Yeah. I see that you have brought another straggler to the library. Who is this? His name is Roth. Ah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know of Roth?

Well, you mentioned Roth earlier, I believe. A magi of great power and an enormous threat to you all personally. Correct? And now you. Sorry about that. Hmm. But he is mostly paralyzed, so that's good. Ving hands her the remainder of the jar. Yeah, I used this and Billy used his paralytic. She takes the lid off and sniffs the inside. He goes, hmm, okay. Well, I will give this to Physiker Elnor and we will, um, I need the jar back when you're done. Very hard to come by. Very well.

Uh, and we will see that no incredible harm is done to Roth as it is. And do what we can to limit his access to the elements. Yeah. It seems like those tattoos on his arms might be a part of it. That's what Billy was saying. Okay. Very well. Um, perhaps it would be smart for you all to get some sleep. Okay. Okay. Do you know what the deal with Elnor is? Is she like single or whatever? I don't know. Okay. She like anything in particular? I have very little information for you. Okay. Good night.

She into dudes or chicks or whatever? Yes. Okay. I'm going to go get breakfast now because it is the morning and you have not slept in at least a day. Okay. I would expect. Okay. I would expect. I would expect. I would expect. I would expect. I would expect. I would expect. I would expect. I would expect. I would expect. I would expect. I would expect. I would expect. I would expect.

The approximate hour I guess afternoon if we're going to bed as the sun is rising yeah yeah and yeah what are you all doing now like I Sean O'Hara I'm very interested in kind of what your next steps are because it seemed to me like roth potentially was going to be a huge narrative threat but he has been imprisoned by you currently so what next yeah what do you guys think we should do oh yeah um we're in the cafeteria right now yeah we're talking yeah louise is on shift breakfast buffet oh just hold on I'm gonna get more goat cheese omelets plural yeah and perel is there he's come to join you he's uh bandaged up you know he's got salves and like pieces of fabric pasted to his body and he's kind of gingerly eating uh tiny button mushroom omelet trying very hard to not use too much of his body to eat his food billy is uh playing with the teddy bear trying to figure it out uh oh yeah and perel has the puzzle artichoke in front of him oh yeah did you figure that out no no I'm sorry that came out a little shorter than I thought are you upset about it it's really confusing maybe if it was a puzzle frog it's a plant but it is got complex interplay lots of parts are locking pieces oh it's this we got this from like morris wedge's fanny pack you got this in morris's fanny pack yeah yeah did you oh wait no oh did we found in the spirit world yeah you found it in the spirit world in boar's when boar was like digging stuff up fuck right yeah wait did we have another puzzle box you got a puzzle box from morris wedge's trap room in aquarius tower right okay and you broke that So you have not gotten that repaired unless in the last several months you've taken it to a clockwork person to get it fixed.

No. I don't mean this is from the spirit world. Oh, that makes more sense. It doesn't look pretentious enough to have been made by Morris. It's kind of twisting the pieces back and forth. Anyways, how'd everything go last night? I understand that you didn't stay after we returned to the library. I had to go get the book I lost. And then we had a fight with Roth. Oh. In the tower. What happened? I mean, it went pretty good. Pretty smooth. Yeah. I mean, for us, it went okay. He's here now.

He's here? He drops the puzzle artichoke and puts his hand in his omelet. You're fine. I mean, we already put a bunch of poisons in him. And I don't know. He's still out of it. He's still out of it. Yeah. They probably have him sedated pretty hard. Yeah. Is it a concern at all that he might come to and escape and lay waste to the library? A huge concern. Yeah. But it feels like that's a Farrah problem rather than an us problem. Yeah. Okay. So what do we do now?

I mean, we're still waiting on Irk to get us that fucking book. That's true. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Or not. And figure out where the heck he is. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But first, I need to… I need to wait and see. I'll know if he finds it or not. Mm-hmm. So something that I'm… Oh, God. I think he said… I think he mentioned this. It's not going to be like a quick thing for him.

He's going to try his best, but it might take a while to find the book and to get it away surreptitiously enough that he's not like executed or forced to give up his information. So in the meantime… Should we… So we'll stick around the library, hey, and like do some research. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So remember… Just nerd out for a little bit. Yeah. Yeah.

Remember something that I established, I think, last season is if you spend a full day researching in the library, you can get an automatic 10 plus on a Spout Lore. Sick. Nice. Yeah. Fuck. I'm so dumb. Same here. It's going to actually… It's going to take Tuck two days, actually. Oh, no. He's forgetting… He's actively forgetting how to read. No. No. It's only going to take a day. So if you spend this whole day like just hanging around reading… You can get a 10 plus on a Spout Lore.

A single Spout Lore each. Well, Roth is out. I want… Ving wants to study his… The… Maybe take a sample and take it to the lab and study the ink in his tattoos. Oh, interesting. Sick. Okay. Yeah. So you go to the medical wing. He let his stubble grow in a little bit and like did a hard line on it. Like he's looking like real soap opera 2010. Oh, no. Like he's looking like a little… He's trying a little too hard. You… He did his hair. He performed it just in case.

And yeah, he took all the sleeves off of all of his clothes in case he wasn't wearing any shirt. Yeah. So you go in. You're ready to go. Tuck is in our rooms at this point in time. You get to him for a second. He finds all of Ving's sleeves and he figures out what he's doing. Who's an idiot now? You said that. No. And then I go to run out of the room and Ving's gummed it up with gum. Yeah. He's put gum on it. He's put gum on it. He's put gum on it. He's put gum in the lock.

He put Vaseline on the inside knob too. Yeah. He put Vaseline all over the inside of the door so I can't get out. Amazing. So you go to the medical wing and it would be really funny if Marush wasn't there. Walks in like arms moving, kind of swagging in. But she is there. You went through all this narrative buildup, all this comedic buildup.

So yeah, Marush is there and she's working with a handful of other physikers on a number of projects, including Roth, who is, I think they would move Roth pretty soon. Once they get him like stabilized, they're probably going to try and move him to like a specific chamber where they can suppress his like spiritual connection. If they can, they're going to try and mess around with ghost root.

Like they've brought in other herbalists and like spiritual experts in the library to try and figure out the best way to contain him. Yeah. Maybe he's in like an iron lung. That's. Oh, that's interesting. Pushing like ghost root smoke into him. Yeah. That's so cool. That's really cool. There's a gaggle of librarians all gathered together, like conferencing and writing on a chalkboard, trying to figure out what to do. Oh yeah. Chemistry equations and stuff. Yeah, totally.

And like physics drawings of like what the representations of the spiritual realms. So cool. And then there's like druidic runes and some like, you know, there's people that are spiritually interpreting their. Medical knowledge too. So it's like trying to bridge the gap. Yeah. And like just off to the side of this group, there's like somebody in deep, deep meditation. Like it's this whole confluence of different. It's a multidisciplinary. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of project. Yeah. Cool.

And Maresh looks up from someone she's speaking to and she sees you and she kind of shoes you away. He's taking it back because he's put a lot of effort into this just to be sued. The fuck away. And he was like, and he walks up to her like, yeah, you called me over. In fact, I did the exact opposite of I, I, I did the other go away. We're busy. Yeah. I mean, you're busy now, but the opposite of that is chill. Maybe you want to chill sometime. The opposite of busy.

I'm sure that you are well aware of the fact that you brought in a living weapon into my medical theater. Yeah. And I think that's a very important way to make sure that this individual that you brought into the library does not wake and lay waste to everything. Generations of people have attempted to build. Pretty cool. It's pretty hard to bring a weapon into a place like this. I bet it is. Speaking of weapons, check out these guns. Can I help you?

Do you have some sort of a practical reason for being here? I'm sorry. Yeah. I would like to study his tattoos if I can. Study in, um, what do you mean? I'm just wondering if I can take a small sample. Sample of the ink under his skin and, uh, take it down and into your laboratory. I was wondering if I could use a small portion of laboratory. I know that you're very busy, but I think it could be important.

The tattoos have a lot to do with his power and I am a spirit Walker was, I just, I haven't, I have, I have a hunch. I need to follow my gut. Please. It could be terribly interesting. Hmm. She, uh, she rubs her chin and she turns to another physical and is like, what, uh, what, um, and she's like, what? Um, a physical stimuli like that, like him taking a sample of the ink with that, would that be enough to wake him? And uh, the dwarf woman that she's talking to is like, mm, I don't believe so.

How deep are you planning to go with this? Uh, with these sample, just a couple of inches, inches, things that good with measurements into his flesh or whatever, uh, or meters. It doesn't matter. It doesn't have to be an inch. Try not to draw blood. Then we should be fine. Okay. Thank you very much. Okay. But just, um, know that this isn't your, um, private play area in the future. If you don't mind, I'm a head physical. I'm under a lot of pressure. I'm quite young to have this position.

Um, there are a lot of people looking over my shoulder. They would like to ask me at any moment. I cannot allow that to happen. She starts like twiddling a braid that she has kind of woven into her hair. She's like, please just don't make me look like a fool in front of anyone. You are in charge. And I will respect that. People have been talking and they're very impressed with the work you're doing. I just, I think you can move forward with confidence and know that you've got this. Thank you.

Thank you very much. Carry on. Thank you. And she goes back to her conference. So you're just going to like, he does one, like look back at her hard jaw. He pushes his bottom jaw out as hard as he can. She's just looking at you blankly. Yeah. Fair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm being a douche bag. I'm sorry. There's a guy jamming his hands against the door going. Don't listen to a smart guy. Stuff. Guys are good. Yeah. The door is rattling in the stone frame.

It's been carved out of this section of the mine. Dust falls from the ceiling and a passing librarian jumps. We bash into the door and just keeps walking. Yeah.

Just uh how do you take it like you're just kind of scraping off yeah with a syringe are there any tattoos that stand out I actually think that these are different than the runes that you are familiar with yeah it's of a different like magical discipline and does there seem to be a confluence like is there a central image that's a great question well yeah what do these tattoos look like we've never looked I imagined like runes but what if like the runes are tattooed in like the blood of the animals whoa that's amazing that's so cool so they're like a dark red instead of like pitch black yeah and maybe there's like blood on my blood sort of thing yeah uh yeah I think it's like when you were facing down roth the turbulence that you felt from the elemental spirits was like too much for you to feel that sort of resonance from the tattoos now that he's in this torpid state um you can feel the resonance from the the blood that was used by previous shapeshifters I guess yeah wow strange okay I'm gonna take a little sample from his chest yeah below the giant cache uh so you tell me because we're doing these spout lores um you tell me what stands out tattoo wise like if there's an um an image of some kind or a design that calls to a certain kind of elemental or spiritual practice I think it's just maybe even as simple as like a black circle a dense black circle that's raised the tattoos are raised so they're kind of scarification scarification and and colored with uh both blood yeah that's cool that is cool so yeah now that you're closer you can see that it isn't just tattooing it's yeah it's ritual scarring yeah neat and they all kind of yeah surround a big black center yeah in his gut in his oh like right in his stomach interesting that's really cool okay yeah you get a little sample of one of those tattoos cool of the ink um we'll come back to that we'll cut to billy or tuck who wants uh to do a spell or next you go I'm still stuck in my bedroom okay um do you want me to let you out or do you want to be left to no tuck is in there and he's holding all the loose sleeves and he's like oh I'm not gonna let you out I'm not gonna let you out I'm not gonna let you go um and then um and then um and then um and then um and then um and then um and then um and then um and then um and then um and then um and then um and then um and then um but only wore one shirt.

Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know. I was just, the night before I started tearing off sleeves, like what, I don't know what I'll feel tomorrow. He's like, he tries on like one of his outfits and he's like, what about this? And he tears it off. He's like, no, not this one. He puts another one on. He's like, this is definitely the one. Oh shit. No, damn it. That's not going to work either. Okay. So what's the thing that Billy's trying to learn? Or accidentally learns even.

Billy and Perel went to like, read some books together. Like Billy's feeling bad for Perel. Perel's really like hamming up these injuries. So he's like, fine, I'll come with you. And like, I'll help you out if you want. But he's brought like the teddy bear and the puzzle artichoke. And would it count if I was like messing with those and seeing if there's something in there? So he's like, he's like limping as he's walking. He's like, oh, Billy, I can't believe I survived.

That encounter with those horrible Magi. But I gave them one of these. Yeah, that bruise looks painful. It is. Thank you. Is that a scrape above your knee? It's a cut, Billy. Not a scrape. A cut. You're right. Whoa. Anyways, so you want to come hang out with me while I read some books? Sure. But I'll bring my toys. All right, let's go. And he, he takes you to the, um, like the wizard history section that he's been digging around in. Sure. Yeah.

I kind of want to, I want to try this puzzle artichoke. I haven't really played with it. Yeah. In fact, they didn't usually let me play with it. So yeah, I want to play with it. Okay, cool. 2d6 plus wisdom to kind of blunder your way through the puzzle artichoke. Nice. Whoa. 10. Okay. Billy blunders his way through a puzzle artichoke. Well, yeah, he's just like spinning it around and he realizes like, well, you can't really use logic with this. You know, plants don't follow the rules of logic.

They always follow like a natural pattern and they, they go from the inside out. So he's like, he's just like fumbling around like, okay, okay, here we go. Like doing like different patterns of twisties that would go into like kind of the spiral effect that is basically like the pattern of life and the puzzle artichoke like a flower starts to bloom. Whoa, cool. So Billy, uh, Billy is like twisting and messing with this puzzle artichoke. I like the idea that he's actually saying this.

Like plants don't follow the order of man. They follow a natural order that hearkens to the patterns of life. Like he's having this very profound conversation with himself and Perel's ignoring him because Billy mutters all the time and he's like, uh-huh. Oh, wow. Really? As he's reading a book, uh, and the puzzle artichoke starts to bloom from the top down and, um, the seeds fall away revealing like a central cavity that was in there the whole time. Yeah.

And sitting inside is a, what looks like, like a fruit pit or a seed and it's got little bits of carving on it. Ooh, what's it made out of? It feels like it's made out of plant material, like wood. Oh, like it's, it's almost like a peach pit or like, uh, like a, like, like a chestnut. Huh. So I, I like it. Hmm. It tastes, uh, kind of sour. What? I, I think I know what it is. What? No, I, no, maybe not. I want to know. Uh, maybe it's a tree of knowledge. Oh, that makes so much sense.

Oh, is that because the carving's in it? Cause the carvings, are they runes? Oh, so Billy like flaps his hands and he's like, oh my God, is Billy going to have a plant friend? And just for context, we're not actually there. No, but Billy remembers what Ving had mentioned about like these trees of knowledge. Mm-hmm.

And Billy is also remembering like ancient, like an ancient memory of like not seeing these, but knowing kind of like about these trees of knowledge and what the seed might've looked like. And he knows they're very like precious and rare. So he's like, he like jumps off the desk and he, he's like, Pearl, I'll be right back. And he goes, I'll look for Ving. Yeah.

And for those of you that don't know, these knowledge trees came up during an Outlander session, which is something that we've been releasing on Patreon in which everybody gets access to the Outlander move that Tuck had for seasons and seasons. And they do a little bit of world building in exchange for an experience point. And Paul introduced the idea of these trees that organically pass on druidic wisdom. The basic idea is that the old, old druids didn't pass on their knowledge.

Like via written word, they did it through propagation of special kinds of trees that when they bloomed, blossomed from those seeds, they contained the knowledge like in their bark and leaves. And when the trees grew, it had, it grew with the runes within the bark already. So as the tree kept growing the knowledge, you would gain more knowledge and people read it off the tree.

And if you were able to nurse these very difficult to grow trees, you were able to gain more knowledge as it got older and bigger. Yeah. And the seed will only germinate for people who are basically like worthy of its knowledge. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, so Billy excited and running wouldn't notice, but we would notice as the audience that the words and runes and symbols that are, that look like they're carved into it. Aren't carved. Like it's naturally just in the seed. Yeah.

So Billy runs to go find Ving. All right. And we'll cut to Tuck. Tuck has gotten out of his room. Now. And he is a moodily walking around the mines with black spire. Okay. And he's talking to black spire, like any shit talking thing. And he's like, man, Ving said he called dibs on her. And I was like, that doesn't exist. Cause we're all feminists. And cause I had all these like feminist kind of questions that I wanted to ask her. She's a doctor.

And I wanted to be like, how did you become a doctor when you're not allowed to operate on your own sons or whatever? And then she opposite of a feminist and then Ving locked me in our room and then fucking forced me to stay in there while he went there, like with zero sleeves and like, probably like was like so smart and shit in front of her. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, bro. Those are all concepts. I understand. For sure. And because of that, I know you're upset.

It took jumps on his back and hugs him from the back. And he's like, you're the only one that understands me. Black spire. Same bro. It would seem. And he's like, just trundling through the minds. He's kind of taking you deeper than you've ever been. Oh, cool. He's already getting pretty comfortable in here. It's like, yeah, this place is pretty sick. It's like, it's like my own pad. You know, it was nice. It was like early.

The place that you found me was like a pretty good pad, but it kind of started getting a little small and there was all that goo, but he's walking around and he's, he's finding like what looks like obsidian rubble, but you would probably guess his house of broken bones. And he's just like, this place is covered in this stuff. It's the bomb. Sick. Yeah. And once it, bro, I was digging around. I was digging around, snuffling around, and I found like one of these, but like opposite. Wait, how?

Like, this is like black crunch. And the other one was like shiny crunch. Show me the shiny crunch. Well, I ate it. Fuck. I'm sorry. Are you kidding me? What do you mean? Am I kidding you? I chomped it, bro. You think I'm going to wait? Okay. Well, tell me, did it look like this? And then tuck like rummages around, and in his backpack, and he pulls out the white dark card coin. And he's like, was it like one of these? No, no, no, no, no, no, shiny, shiny. Yeah.

Like, uh, what's the, what was the up thing that we saw when we were coming back? Oh, like, fuck sunstone. Sure, bro. Shit. It was delicious. Oh, no, geez. Dude, you can't eat that. That's so expensive. What do you mean? I mean, like, it's worth so much money. What do you mean? I mean, like, and then tuck is like, how do I explain representational currency to a dragon? Okay. So, um, let's say that you want to eat black crunch all the time, right? Yeah. Okay.

But say you have more black crunch than you can eat. Okay. So a guy says, okay, give me that black crunch. Whoa, hold on. And he, uh, he sits down on his butt. Like while you're talking, he's, he's, he's, he's, his front, his front legs are still on the ground, but he, his back legs flip out in front of him and he just plops down on his little butt. Yeah. So a guy says, give me that black crunch and I'll just like hold it for you.

And then whenever you need more crunch, I will give it to you just so you don't have to hold all this black crunch. Okay. All right. I'm starting to catch your vibe. Uh, so it's like, it's kind of like if I'm trying to crunch and like one of those gross worms, comes and crunches my crunch first. Yeah. This is somebody had the crunch. Yeah. Then the worms wouldn't crunch it. Exactly. Okay.

And then say you were talking to someone else that wanted black crunch, then you could just say, Hey, this guy has all my black crunch. If you need it, you can go get it only if you want it to give it to them. Hmm. And that's what money is. Okay. This would have been clear if duck was smarter. I think I, I understand. Okay. So, okay, no, so I don't want to talk. I understand. You don't have to keep talking about it. Okay.

Just if you find that shiny crunch, save it and then I'll give you tons more black crunch instead. Hmm. Promise. Yeah, man, I promise you a million percent. You're my best friend because my actual best friend just fucking betrayed me. All right. No, uh, Paul, the player feels really guilty. Yeah. And awesome right now. Uh, yeah, so, okay, yeah, I will not eat the shiny crunch right away. I will come in. I will try. Okay, here's the, here's my fear. Here's what I am a feared of.

If I find a shiny crunch and I, and you don't come for a while and I have to not eat it and it just sits there. So how do I know that you are going to come and relieve me of this shiny crunch? I promise you, I will come back and give you 10 times as much black crunch as shiny crunch. 10 times, 10 times. I don't know what that means, but it sounds like more. And then tuck is like, how do I explain ratio based mathematics to this drag? Yeah.

And he's like towering above you with his big, like his big front arms on the ground and his head's tilting side to side like a big dog where he's like, okay, so he's like, so tech is like, all right, and he drops one small rock on the ground. He's like, for every one of these, I'll give you this many. And then he drops 10 small rocks. Oh, a black crunch. So you give me a shiny crunch. That's as big. I'll give you this much black crunch. All right. Okay. Mostly understood.

I will not eat the shiny crunch right away. I will wait for you, my bro. All right. And then, and then tuck goes to fist pump him and he head butts your hand and I go to the infirmary because my hand shatters. Is there anything that you were hoping to learn in the mines or did you just want to chill with black spire?

I just wanted to chill with black spire because, because my best friend betrayed me and my son is hanging out with me, his nerdy uncle and the girl that I have a huge crush on all of a sudden is busy. The girl I developed a crush on instantly is busy. Uh, okay, we'll cut back to Ving. So Ving, you are, um, in one of the sort of more secluded research chambers off the medical wing. What's your plan with this sample? I wanted to test it against some ghost roots. So I get some ghost roots.

Ghost root and grind it up and I want to take a look at it in there. Um, they have a sun stone that they've molded into lenses and it, it's, it's not like a microscope, but it's exactly like a microscope. Yeah, it, it definitely magnifies things a lot, perhaps not molecular. What it does is it, it, you, it channels lights so bright, a very, very bright white, white light, but Ving uses his, uh, light site. He can like withstand it and it illuminates, you know, some of the properties of it.

Oh, that makes sense. Actually, can I propose a mechanism for how this works and why Ving is actually better at looking at it? Okay. So say they carve like lenses of sunstone, uh, and then they like lay a sample on top of it. The sunstone will shine the light through the sample and project it on a screen bigger than it is. Oh, cool. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like, it will like diffract and diffuse. So there's like a limit on how big you can actually make it before it starts looking shitty. Right.

But then can just look directly at the lens cause he has light sight. Right. So he can kind of like use his elf eyes to see. As, as like the, the, uh, what do you call overhead projector screen? Exactly. You can project it directly onto your fucking retina. Cool. That's pretty neat. Yeah. I like this. Uh, okay. So you are testing, testing the ink in Roth's tattoos against ground up ghost root. I just want to see if there's ghost root in there.

I think my theory is that they grind up ghost root and use some of the chars that blackness in with the blood of the sacrifices for what purpose I'm wondering. I don't know. I mean, we're, we're loosely saying that ghost root has, uh, got a spiritual quality to it. It could be like the binding agent. Yeah. Yeah. The chains that you saw could be this substance.

What if, if it's sort of like basically like a seed and then the tattoos, like the runes act as like roots that sort of like that symbolic nature of like we have rooted the spirit and the energy of these animals, which we've taken their blood and we use like the ghost root to bind it to our physical form so that it can never truly leave us, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Those chains come out of that central thing. Every Druid, like the first tattoo they get is that big black circle. Oh yeah.

And then all the other ones are built off it. That's awesome. Yeah. Pretty cool. And it makes sense because the ghost root kind of pierces the realms. So if it's like, I need to anchor these like animal spirits to me and then like, how am I going to keep it here? It's like the ghost root is the thing that like binds this realm to the next. Yeah. And it, so it's not like through that it's almost like it's not that their bodies or their perceptions are piercing the spirit realm. It's the tattoos.

It's just the tattoo. It's like that part of their body, which would explain why it's so, so dangerous for them and why it's so painful for the spirits. And maybe when Marash is like looking at like the bones underneath where the tattoos are, she sees like sheer fractures because like that's where like all the like sheer forces is like focused. Oh, they're covered in. Yeah. And that's why they're also weak and because their body is always an immune response to try to heal itself. Yeah.

And that's probably, yeah, that's why Roth is so yeah. Scrawny, like the sheer pressure that's put on her. Put on his body and also the effort he has to expend. He also just can't eat enough to put on mass because he's just always exerting himself, which would explain why he's such a son of a bitch. Why he's so pissed off all the time. And he's so he has to be so convinced of his path. Yeah, because every day he's actively like killing himself. Yeah. Uh, cool. That's pretty intense.

We all get a point for that. Sean, take a point. Hey, thanks, man. Oh my God, I just leveled up finally after three years. I'm going to take the advanced move and the podcast. The move itself is called freedom. Okay, that's really sick. That's really interesting. Like the destructive nature of even being a Medi is really interesting.

And at that moment, Billy bursts into the room because somebody mentioned where you were and then Billy started sprinting through the medical theater and they couldn't stop him. Yeah, I like the thought that Maresh likes Billy a lot. Everybody kind of likes Billy. That's the thing is like he's such a precocious little kid that they're like, yeah, sometimes he tips over a big pot of gumbo. Sometimes people will go back to their rooms and find him in their sock drawer, but it's cute a little bit.

So, okay, so actually while Ving is doing this work, the door opens and Billy is in Maresh's arms and she's carrying him into this chamber. She's like both trying to get her attention, but Billy just has it. Yeah, look, I told you he was just working. Here he is. Oh, well, thank you. Hmm. Um, also, thanks for the ride. I have been running a lot. I can tell you're so sweaty. Yeah. Oh, little guy. Well, why don't you come by later for some tea? Okay. Do you have like sandwiches too?

Oh, I can get some sandwiches. Certainly. Sweet. All right. Sounds good. That sounds great. Vings. She casts you a look and then walks out of the room. Oh, damn it. Um, hey, Ving. Hey, bud, I want to show you something. What's that? Uh, and I open my hands. Oh, it's a seed, a tree of knowledge. Yeah. It was in the artichoke puzzle. What? These are so rare. Oh my God, Billy, we have to try and grow this. Like right now? No. Oh, too delicate in the, in the desert. This is amazing.

I just, I just wanted to show you, what does it say on it? Uh, I mean, these are very old runes. Right. I should know this. Oh, I didn't even try to read them. Uh, do you have an idea of what, let's say you can find, you can see like one phrase. Oh, maybe the differences from the different trees have kind of like an environment that they like to start in. And that's kind of written as like how to start it sort of thing on it. So it's like, it's like a growing instructions, like on a packet.

Yeah. Yeah. They come with their own instructions. Cool. Yeah. Um, this one is a willow. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Oh, Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That is the interesting thing. What is the useful thing that we gain from this? Um, yeah, I think, you know what? I mean, I don't know how old this like seed is, but it's still good. Like these seeds don't, they can withstand a lot.

Yeah. Um, and Oh, you know what? I bet it's these seeds will like survive long enough for someone worthy to find it. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Oh, and maybe once you do, maybe that's the thing that's useful. Billy notices it when he's like, don't put it in your mouth, but it's like, it's popped and there's a little bit of green. Oh my God. Oh, like, yeah, the color of the seed changes just a tiny little bit. Just it's cracked a little bit and you can see that it's starting to germinate.

It's tiny vein of green. It's chosen you. Oh, that's, and Billy's like, it's my pet now. Oh my God. That is so beautiful. Great. Okay. What's Tuck doing? Oh, what's Tuck doing? He's wandering around the halls now. With a broken hand? Uh, no, his hand was just hurt a lot. It wasn't actually broken. Okay. Yeah. But he's, he's writing a poem to Maresh and he's like, all right, it's what it would work. He's trying to do an Alec, you kind of thing again, where he's like, nice to the beautiful Maresh.

Her name is Maresh, right? Yes. He turns to a random person. It is like her name's Maresh, right? I don't know. The doctor, the hot doctor. Oh, Physiker Elnor. Yeah. Her first name, her first name is Maresh. Sounds right. Fuck, I hate you. I hate you. Good. I don't want to be your friend anymore. Then get the fuck out of here. I am getting out of here. I was working on something and you walked up to me. Tuck knocks the shit on his desk off. That took me three years to build. Fuck you.

And somebody walks up and is like, are you okay? And he's like, yeah, it didn't take me three years. I was just being an asshole. Uh, to the beautiful, he's walked away. Yeah. To the beautiful, Maresh. I would like to see your flesh. Fuck. That's not good. Feminist. I'm a feminist. And, uh, he walks, he, as he's like, what are you ready? Walks past her, his office. And then he realizes that he never explained the demon thing to her. And he never figured out what this white coin was. Right.

So he goes back and he's like, Farrah. Yes. Tacoma. How did you, uh, it always seems, why is it? Whenever I am shaken from a reverie, it is because of you or your friends. What are you, what reverie are you looking at? And he comes behind her desk and looks over her shoulder. Uh, you see that she is, um, writing and you're reading the McCollin and she's writing poetry. Oh, whoa, no way. I was trying to write poetry and she, she covered, like she very quickly covers the thing she was working on.

She was like, it's not finished. Yeah. Mine isn't either. And then, I'm like, here's what I have so far to the beautiful Maresh Tacoma. I can really see your flesh. I would. Wow. All right. It's still not finished. Is there a reason that you came in here? Right? Yes, there is. Thanks for reminding me. It's a poem about how visible her skin is. It is visible. So this is tuck talking to her assistant. Yeah, it's visible. It's not completely covered. I believe you. All right. That's a parrot.

It took it like he, he takes the two coins out and he's like, he drops them on the table and he's like, all right, two things. One thing we forgot to tell you was it seems like demon possession is becoming more prevalent in the city. One of the things we dealt with was this like dwarf guy who had tried to use ghost route to like do something, contact the spirit world. And he ended up like inviting the demon of ambition in. And I was like, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. And then when we tried to banish the demon, this black coin turned white. So then that brings me to the second thing I probably should have told you. I don't know. Six episodes ago. I think these, these coins are related to the dark card. And I think this is how the Torch found me in the library.

Now, you say you think do you mean that you were directly told uh yeah ama told me that and he suggested that I throw them away and then I might have immediately forgotten because it was the end of a recording weekend I understand because also it was farhan that told you that oh right but I have spoken previously to farhan and grandfather ama about these coins and they are both in agreement that it is something that demons are able to perceive in some way so I am absolutely floored that you even still have these yeah I mean one of them came in handy the white one it turned white because we had to like banish a demon with it or I don't fucking know I just broke it and stuff happened interesting and she picks up the two coins she hesitates to pick it up considering the extremely specific circumstances in which you were able to shatter this coin with your spirit world forged axe I would be surprised if that was the purpose of these coins um in terms of the black coin the obsidian coin from what grandfather ama and farhan are a were able to remember it seems that they do have some sort of use in tracking they described it as in tracking individuals that are most ripe for possession something about the coins calls out to those who are in need in some way in a way that would make them more likely to welcome in an icon's influence wait so you're telling me that me carrying around this coin is because I'm susceptible to demonic possession or is making me susceptible to demonic possession um question mark it seems to be with you specifically um where did you find this coin you said uh I found them in like travel or shrines in the principalities they're like all over the fucking place yes well that would make sense if the coins are proliferated by individuals then the idea I suppose would be people who are more likely to accept the influence of an icon would be drawn to the coins in some way and through the carrying of these coins the demons and icons that are able to control them would know that those individuals are vulnerable so whether you picked up this coin out of sheer curiosity or whether it called to you in some way I do not know the fact that you have two of them is very interesting to me but it would say to me that this white coin has been potentially expunged of whatever influence creates that effect so fara says she you know she slides the coins across her desk to you assuming that you have stopped looking over her shoulder and walked right around to the front again and she says so working with this theory this coin she points at the white obsidian should be safe potentially though it might also contain the aspect of an icon this black coin if I were you I would get as far away from me as possible however if what we think is true is true it could just potentially be picked up by some other sorry soul that would find themselves possessed so you are in quite a pickle as they say that's callback I understand that you were in a pickle earlier oh right yeah shia forced me into a pickle that I feel like everyone's pretty cavalier with the fact that shia tried to drown me no she no the way that she says it she pranked you bro and that's on you uh yeah so that's what she says she's like who knows what you want to do with these coins but either way they're bad news uh okay is that the useful bit that you might want to get away yeah um the useful bit I guess is that that's what you know these coins that's what you think these coins might do um like they can be used to trap demons they might have like multiple functions and maybe that was a one-off fluke like just because tuck is who tuck is yeah or like the fact that it was shattered by terry larry and chad maybe that's the only way that that was possible maybe yeah this actually kind of makes sense because like within the coin there is a thing that calls to people who can be possessed and then calls to demons to be like come here and possess this person so like there's like a calling like a negative like a vacuum kind of thing that pulls things in little black coal coins but then when tuck broke it it like broke the containment and it sucked in like whatever demonic things were in the area cool yeah and then it neutralized it basically yeah that's really cool it filled it so the whiteness is the whiteness of an icon like we always think of it like the outer dark is full of icons and they're dark but the whiteness is because there's an icon in there yeah yeah neat is there constellations and stars that people worship as icons there's some in something like they're the white against the sky oh maybe yeah there's something in somebody's yeah stories maybe like giant lore is like within astrological lore yeah the bowl of the celestial heavens each uh star was like a like a demon like a different demon yeah or giants very well may have seen icons as a totally different force where they're like they are oh you know what's kind of cool is considering giants are so they were so concerned culturally not like you know they're not not every giant was exactly the same but their culture generally revered trades people and crafters if they saw the icons as like the muses kind of sometimes like people would be overtaken by the spirit of creation oh and they were like that's what the stars are the stars represent like the the muses inspiration cool so they might have had a very different relationship with icons yeah because their bones are obsidian and they are better able to accept that influence into their bodies and mediate it so it doesn't completely overtake them whoa it contains them yeah within their core that makes so much sense they can get so much more youth that's why they're able to do all the like insane things they got to do yeah that's why they're able to build such monumental towers holy shit maybe that's why there's so many demons like and issues in mccall is because the giants are no longer here to contain it oh my god and they were broken up into smaller segments then right what would that mean for orcs then if orcs were descended from giants maybe that means that the like what the god of the flame did was remove their a bit like remember that's the the like prevailing orc folklore is that we used to be giants and then the god of the flame like suppressed us and turned us into something less so maybe the god of the flame separated them from that connection they had to the icons or fundamentally changed their like physiology their physiology so they could no longer like like!

Accept and mediate the influence of the icons do we have we talked about orc physiology their bones do they have obsidian bones we can we know that their tusks are white okay so maybe they're maybe their bones are white obsidian yeah and everyone just thinks they're like bones yeah that's so cool amazing I like the idea that the giants could be like I want to build something so I am going to like open myself up to the eye to like a specific icon and they could choose kind of a ton of different types of şu şu şu şu şu şu şu şu şu şu şu şu şu şu şu şu that's how you did it and mccall because they're thinking about it based on human culture they thought that it was a lighthouse that told ships the shore is here but for giant culture it was a beacon to the stars yes that was it's oh it was a star on earth and that's why it has images of the giant creator god carved into it because the story is that they were inspired by the stars they were the first yeah yeah oh maybe it was like this was a star and the creator god reached up into the sky and brought it down and gifted it to the giants so that they could use it to like reach out and connect with the different muses it makes sense why the lighthouse is so very high up because it's like closer to the night sky oh my god it was as close as they could make it yeah I am rock hard right now this is I bet everyone listening is rock hard I am gonna bust if you're gonna shoot shoot into this yeah okay okay okay!

That's sick everything that we just said is fucking awesome it also makes sense why like in the that song the tolling yeah uh it's one of the instructions is uh the darkness fears the nighttime sun yeah yeah and it's because like the lighthouse itself has an influence on demons so if we don't really like pass within its like shadow because they're afraid that if they're overexposed they'll be overexposed and overexposed and overexposed and overexposed and overexposed and they'll be like separated from the body that they've overtaken yeah and they'll be like cast back to the outer dark cool oh man that's very interesting and mccollins might just not understand that like the fact that they interpret every like so much uh giant imagery as being similar to theirs like revering the day and the sun but their connection was to the night that's so fucking cool good job everybody pretty well done pretty fucking awesome well done well done well done I love fantasy I love my friends um okay so maybe that is kind of the information that tuck gleans throughout the day like it's he's talking to farah and he reads a book or two maybe or is this all stuff that's just in the wind and the characters don't necessarily understand it I feel like tuck wouldn't put this together yeah unless pharaoh was like let's talk about it yeah I think pharaoh maybe walks him through it yeah like you guys like the assistant leaves because you guys end up talking for like hours yeah because it's like tuck his face with a philosophical and moral issue now that pharaoh has presented him with which is just like I either have to endanger my family by keeping this or I sentence someone else to death by like just throwing it away basically so he's like trying to work through what he should do and he's like asking for pharaoh's help basically and yeah maybe that's like when all of this stuff comes up through this conversation it's like like us look researching and looking through yeah the parrot actually had a lot of really good ideas but you guys shoot him out of the room because you had to talk I don't want that parrot remembering anything that we're saying right now so yeah that's really neat I think there's maybe some stuff that the world doesn't still understand about that like giant culture stuff you know what I mean Or maybe, I guess if anybody would, if any group would, it's the librarians.

Yeah. Okay. So yeah, she's basically like, at the end of this, she's burning with curiosity. I thought you were going to say desire, but duck. Duck's so hopeful. Maybe just a little bit. But yeah, she is like, you've given me a lot to think about today, Tacoma. I am going to hit the books, as it were. I feel 90 again. I feel like a freshman again. Yeah. Thank you so much, Tacoma. Yeah. Cool. Also, think about what you want to do with these coins. Sure. I honestly have no idea what you should do.

Okay. I'm sorry. I wish that I could give you better advice, but it's kind of up to you. If you think you can withstand this influence, and if I'm being honest, I think that you, of all the people that I've met recently, would have the greatest chance, then do it. If you fear that the risk is too great. To you. To you and those you love. I can't begrudge you making that choice. All right. Thanks for laying this burden on my shoulders. I will go finish my poem now.

It's like five hours have passed. You're like, what was this poem about again? So, Tuck, you're heading, you leave Farah's office and you're wandering, working on your poem. And… I'm kind of… Kind of distracted. I can't, like, my mind keeps getting pulled back to the two coins in my backpack, trying to, like, figure out what I should do with them. So, nothing happens with the poem. Yeah. I just crumple it up. I throw it out. I'm like, fuck. Think and have. I don't give a shit anymore.

And as you're walking away, casting a longing glance at that garbage can, you hear, hey. What? What? You turn and Fatim is standing behind you. And Tuck drinks. Tuck squares up. Tuck squares up a little bit. And he's like, hey, what's up? Can we talk? And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. Playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long.

And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye for now. Thank you to Aaron Reed, the incomparable Aaron Reed, for our intro and outro music. Thank you to our Patreon supporters. Our incomparable Patreon supporters. Supporting us around the world. If you would like to support the show, go to patreon.com, throw a slash in there, and then Spout Lore afterwards. Or Spout Lore.com slash money, please. We've got a whole bunch of Patreon benefits, like 150 plus hours. No. What is it?

How many hours of bonus content? A lot. I don't know. There's definitely more than 100 hours. Really? Yeah. Pretty good. 100 plus hours of bonus audio content. Wait. No. No. There's definitely less than 100. 100 hours. Less than 100 hours of bonus audio content. But definitely more than 60 hours. Between 60 and 100 bonus hours. And maybe more than 100 hours. You know what? Use your discretion. And we've also got some video content. We do alternating Q&As live monthly.

And then on the off months, we do live Lone Tree Hill episodes playing Fiasco. And if that is the kind of stuff that you're interested in… And maybe hit us up. Or if you want to help, drop us a review on iTunes. We love them. Thank you so much. See you next time.

And so ends the tale of Adventures 3 Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly spell more

Hey, everybody. Abdul here with the Spout Lore crew. Got Paul. Yeah, hey. Jessica. Hello. And Sean. Hi. And I've taken over the podcast. That's why I'm doing the announcement. Finally. Thank you. But we just wanted to drop a quick announcement here at the beginning of this episode, because this is a very special episode that we did a crossover, a special Halloween crossover with the crew over at Dungeons and Dragons.

We played an episode where our group and their group met up, and we had a spooky Halloween time adventure. And spooky it was. The first half of the adventure is going to be over here on our feed. And if you want to hear the conclusion, you're going to want to head over to the Dungeons and Dragons feed, where we, for the first time, play D&D 5th edition. Is that what that was? It was. It was. I know it was a lot more dice and numbers than you are all used to. Yeah.

In the second half, we are at a middle school dance. So you get to see exactly how awkward we all were in middle school. It was pretty fun. And you should be able to find a link to that episode and their feed in the show notes. So yeah, enjoy the episode and head over to Dungeons and Dragons for the conclusion. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

But nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed Their quests are famously daring So here I sit Singing to you an adventure That is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home He loves to sing and fight Thing is half-elf, he shifts his shape And wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief His tiny size does max the largest heart Best and brightest They may not be But their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends And listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome The Barbarian Abdulaziz Hello, I am Tacoma Dome I am a human barbarian My pronouns are He, him, and so are tux And I am Seven foot tall Five foot wide Probably like three feet deep I wear Kind of like a loose Kind of loin guard and boots I've got a loot with me most of the time Like a little backpack I'm bald of head and thick Of thigh And I have Like brown skin And Yeah, that's just what I look like Most of the time And now the character?

Yeah, also this is what the player Abdul also looks like Just scaled down by about 75% Playing Ving, the half-elf druid Paul Oppers Hello, my name is Paul Pronouns are he, him And I play Ving Vang Zumba A half-elf druid Pronouns He, they And he's a shapeshifter With wild gray long hair And a big puffy fur collar Flaps, lots of leather flaps Clothing flaps And waist flaps Knee flaps I got some dainty little boots on To help me Move through the forest silently And I have a spear And I'm tall and thin And wild gray eyes Pointy ears and I got gills Go on And playing Ving Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hello, I'm Jessica She, her I play Billy Who is a halfling child thief His pronouns are he, him He is two feet tall And two feet wide A little beach ball baby Rosy cheeks And red ginger hair He's cloaked in a little raccoon skin Cape hat thingy And wears little like I don't know, earthy tones Little baby boots Just a little guy in general Very hungry all the time And not joining me as always Playing Nrixius Acra A.K.A.

Glim the Dragonborn Paladin Carla Maxted Hi, I'm Carla I play Glim Glim is a Dragonborn paladin So Dragonborn is very tall She's about six foot five Looks like a bipedal dragon Covered in scales That are kind of different hues Of metallic brass and rose gold And platinum Her hands are Have talons with claws at the end She has a really long tail Big long horns And she is real into Bahamut Her main god Number one Love Playing Sullivan Slight The halfling rogue Amy Hey I'm Amy Moore And I play Sullivan Slight A lightfoot halfling rogue Sully has He's a He's a halfling So he's a shorter person He's a shorter person His pronouns are he him He's got this like Kind of like mid-length haircut With like half up bun situations Kind of a half man bun going on there And he's got deep dark skin And likes to dress in leathers And earth tones And he's pretty ballin' I'm playing Moot the half-orc sorcerer Tom Laird Yeah hello I'm Tom he him I'm playing Moot He is a half-orc sorcerer Has a wild magic background So occasionally he funds me out of my life Occasionally fun things happen when he casts spells He's got dark green eyes He's about five foot five Dark gray kind of green skin He's got a couple like lower fangs That kind of jut out from his mouth And yeah he kind of Just rocks like a messenger bag And you know Tunic and pants and boots That's so funny That he's just got a messenger bag He's got a little laptop in there Right I wish If you haven't guessed yet We've got sort of a crossover situation going on folks We've got the fine fine people at Dungeons and Dragons joining us today And also co-gming Russ Moore Hey that's me Co-gming gonna have a fun time It's like what we're doing here is like a Saturday morning cartoons crossover You know of the days of old 90s when Spider-man would go visit the X-Men And we'll let you determine Who's Spider-man and who's the X-Men in that scenario But if you don't choose Russ as Spider-man He'll hunt you down Yeah he will be personally offended When Abdul was last on our podcast he called people out to come to his lawn Now's the time when I drop my address and call you to my lawn Did I give out my address?

Yeah and your phone number buddy And your phone number Don't worry I edited it out But you did scream don't edit this out right after that But it is still up for patrons so You know you pay money you know You can go harass him too hard Well I'll give it out again My phone number is And my address is And after this crossover you come to my house And you tell me which one of The two shows you thought was better Which one of the cast was better And if you don't pick Spout Lore I'll Bite you on my front lawn Those are all fair things All fair you can pick Spout Lore when you're talking to me I'm not talking to Abdul but we know in your heart Of hearts that it's No competition because we're all friends here No competition because we're all here to have fun Why is it so competitiony?

Alright stop me talking You're the GM Wonderful then we'll get down to A game of Dungeon World A game that you all have not played before Once Sweet once Alright Tuck, Billy and Ving Two days ago you were resting At an inn called The Pluck Chicken Having a Just a nice meal on the road waiting for You know night to fall and Sleep to take you when you noticed a Poster on the side of The wall next to the fireplace That said to all seeking Riches and glory Please come To the midnight fair And then smaller underneath Ancider festival To take part in the challenge set up by my uncle, Count Murphy Vengabus.

And if thou art successful, his riches and inheritance thou shalt gain. And you found yourselves unable to resist the challenge. Let's see a second of how unable to resist that challenge you were. What does the poster say? It says, if to all seeking riches and glory, my uncle, Count Murphy Vengabus, has set up a challenge at the Midnight Fair and Cider Festival. And if thou art successful, his estate and inheritance thou shalt gain. How big is this fucking poster?

Yeah, it's actually a guy standing next to a poster who is telling you, this is the guy, I'm the guy, this is what's going on. Can you just read it? Can you say it in regular words instead of like literary languages? Okay, if you can just give me a fucking second. So the Vengabus is coming. No, yeah, this guy, Count Murphy Vengabus died. And his inheritance is available to whoever succeeds at a series of challenges. Are the challenges haunted?

The challenges are spending a night in a haunted house. That's the challenge. At the Cider Festival? The Cider Festival is a… Adjacent to a haunted house. So do you want to undertake these challenges or not? Hey Edgar, have you put up the sign yet? I'm trying. These guys keep fucking bothering me. Well, look, the boss told you if they ask too many questions, just move on to the next schlubs. Yeah, if you don't want it, that's fine. I'll see you guys later. No, no, no, no.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Is there free food at the Cider Festival and Midnight Show? Yeah, it's like a fair. There's like, there's food, there's games. Is there food better than the plucked chicken though? This stuff's delicious. I mean, it depends on how you feel about plucked chickens versus like a churro or an elephanty or a mini donut, which are all the same foods in different shapes. Wow, I've never eaten any of those animals. I would love to. I would love to go.

All right, then just see me. Come meet me outside tomorrow morning and I'll take you there. What time? Whatever, 7.30. You're going to be there? You're going to be here at the restaurant at 7.30? Do they do breakfast here too? Is it like a brunch? Yeah, they have a continental breakfast that doesn't start until 7.30. Because the unplugged chicken did not have an uncontinental breakfast. Look, that's when the carriage shows up and takes you to the venue.

So you don't have to, you can drink while you're there and then we bring you back home. It's very straightforward. Dougie, this was before I found out there was a continental breakfast. We will be leaving at 8 a.m. Oh, okay. Okay, 8 a.m. We can hold up. Yeah, I need that. I'm getting a little bowl of cereal. I need a bowl of cereal and a cold waffle. That's why I need that. And for my sanity, we cut forward 12 hours. I'm still at the inn eating, I don't know, my seventh helping.

I haven't slept at all. The driver realizes Billy is still there, turns around, goes back to the inn, grabs Billy. We cut forward another four hours. Billy is still eating. He's standing on the dead body of… Eating, finishing the bucket of chicken. And then we're going to cut forward an indeterminate amount of time that I'm in control of. And the cart that you three have been riding on for the better part of a day enters a forest. The sun is sitting low in the sky.

The gnarled, dark trees of the forest form an impenetrable tunnel ahead of you. The tunnel itself is not impenetrable. Yeah, how are we going to get through this tunnel? Yeah. It's a tunnel. Oh my God. It's one of those Roadrunner Wile E. Coyote tunnels that's just painted on. But a train comes out of it, really? Yeah. You enter the forest through the impenetrable tunnel and you hear in the, you know, the forest is quiet. You hear whoo, whoo.

And eventually the sounds of the forest give way to what sounds like calliope music. So it's kind of like… Like a… Like a jack in the box. That is not what a jack in the box sounds like. Okay. By show of hands, who thought that that was a jack in the box? I mean, organ grinder is pretty close. It's like… Right. Yeah. An organ grinder and a jack in the box are different things. Very close though. They are. Can I ask the owl where that music's coming from? Hey, who, who, who? What's up?

Oh, you can talk to animals. I always forget. 45 minutes later. Yeah. There's an owl sitting on the branches above you. What? What? Hey, what's going on? Where's that music coming from? How's this cider festival? Seriously. Is there anybody there? Is it worth it? I'm an owl. I have very little frame of reference for cider festivals, but there's people there. All right. Goodbye. And you ride a little bit further into the forest and come out into a clearing mercifully at last.

And the lights of this fairground fill the center of this forest clearing. There's stands everywhere with like black and yellow striped tents. There are people making and serving different kinds of fried foods. There's games. You can hear people yelling and laughing, having a great time, bells and whistles going off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Haunted mansion of some kind.

It's kind of got like this rough and shabby painted wood facade. And there's a small line of people standing outside of it. And the guy driving the cart stops and says, okay, just get off of my cart. We're here. And if you want to do the thing, do the thing. But I just got to get away from you. Is it because I farted so much? I'm really sorry about that. It's just like the chicken made me so gassy. And I'm not supposed to hold it in. I don't think it was the chicken.

I think it was the sheer quantity of chicken that might have done that for you, my child. All right, noted. Now, please get off my cart and I will see you never again, hopefully. Okay, bye. Bye. Okay, hopefully never. Thank you, help me down. Yeah, of course, bud. There you go. Whoa. Sorry. You are getting a plump, my friend. Thank you. You're very welcome.

And then Tuck leans over to Ving and he's like, we should maybe start like teaching a portion control because an entire inn's worth of continental breakfast is maybe too much. He cleared out a generation of chickens. I know. You told me that those chickens like started a myth about him after he left. Yeah, they were talking about him. There was one who was carving in the ground an image of him that they were supposed to avoid.

For their children to be hatched because they knew they weren't going to be there when they did hatch. They called him the hunger. So, yeah, what do you guys do? Do you see what you believe to be the haunted mansion of Count Murafu Vengabus in the distance and a number of tents and stalls around you? Cool. Do you guys want some cider? I can get some cider. Yeah, I'll have some cider. Great. Let's get some cider. Hey, cider guy. Yeah. Hey, I'm not the same. I'm the same guy. That's for sure.

And I'm also selling cider. What can I get you? Selling? No, thank you. Adieu, my good man. I thought this was a free cider festival. Yeah, there's a booth a few stalls down that says free cider. Shit, sorry. This guy. There's a booth that's selling cider and then another booth that's just free cider. Several down from it. Yeah. Yeah. Good luck, buddy. We go up to the free cider guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Good luck, buddy. We go up to the free cider guy and we're like, okay, you, what's wrong with this cider that it's free when other people are selling cider? This guy has an eye patch and he's breathing kind of hard. I don't know what you're talking about. I've got this cider. I found, I steal from the booth three stalls down and I sell my I'll-gotten booty from this stall. No, sorry. I don't sell. I give it away for free. Did the cider seller hurt you, sir?

Um, that is a past that I keep within me. Do you want some cider or not? Heck yeah. We'll take three. Okay. Here you go. And he gives you, um, three cups of cider. Hmm. How's it taste? I never actually had me. Wait. I already drank mine. I don't know what's going to happen. What is your business model, sir? What's your name? My name. My name is, uh, is, uh, is tillium. Yup. That's it. It's tillium. Tillium. Yup. I think it's tillium. Yup. It's a really nice name. It's really similar to mine.

What's your name? It's fat. Billy is short for fat. William. Oh, they, your first name is fat or they call you fat. It's just, you know, everyone has one of them. Skinny. Billy. Old Billy. They were all taken. You know. Is this your kid? Do you call your kid fat Billy? He came with that name. Yeah. I mean, what's a name? My name is Ving Vang Zumba. I don't care. Like, what am I going to do is change somebody's name. I guess. My name is Tillium. Yup.

I don't really have any, uh, leg to stand on here. Anyways, you guys should go check out that haunted mansion. That seems to be sort of the focal point of the fair. And that's probably a good place to start. See what's going on. We'll work our way to it eventually. Ooh. Is that wiener drop? Uh, it actually is. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Shit. There's a wiener drop. Yes. A wiener drop.

As you were talking to Tillium Yup, three, for you, very interesting looking figures come walking down the sort of, uh, cider row. Uh, one is a halfling, not unlike Billy, but seems to be, um, a lot taller and leaner, though still not very tall or lean, uh, for a person. Uh, a person that appears to be partially orc. Like, but not, uh, the gray of the Macallan orcs that you're used to seeing. And a full-on bipedal dragon. Oh! Oh!

I hide behind, I hide behind Tuck, I guess, because he's the biggest. Oh my God. Look at how tall that halfling is. They're beautiful. Guys, I don't think we should drink the cider from, from this booth. Can't be worse than the pickle lemonade. And, and it says it's free, so. Okay. Yeah. Sully, Moot, and Glim, you seem to have three individuals staring aghast at the three of you. What do you do? Look, look at the, I mean the stare, I mean the staring.

Well, they, they're just looking at my cool ranch Dorito corn dog that I got right over there. Fuck, I want a cool ranch Dorito corn dog. That's fucking great. God damn it, Tom! My brain parsed that so weird, because I thought it was a cool. Cool. Ranch Dorito. Ranch Dorito. Hot dog. And then I realized what I was actually. No, no, no, no. It's cool ranch. Excuse me, people in front of us. Oh my God. Is this cider, is, is the free cider poison? Yeah, that's the question.

I mean, it's not immediate poison. We're still here. This one's on me. Oh, this free cider's on you? I, thank you. That's great. Thank you. That's so nice. Well, you guys, I don't know. Like. That's a good idea, man. Oh, that's okay. I'll see what I can do. Will you about to give us a price for these ciders? That, it says free? Oh no, it's free. Okay. No, I'm, I just, hey, can I, and he leans over and he tries to get one of your cups back. Oh, you can have mine.

Is this just a little bit of backwash? So you can just dump it out. Yeah, that's fine. I'll dump it out. And he dumps it out on the ground and he wipes it out with a shirt and he comes back up with six cups full of cider. Okay, that one might be poison. He mixes that with a little bit of cider. That's better. That's better. That's better. Dumps it out on the ground and he wipes it out with a shirt and he comes back up with six cups full of cider. Okay, that one might be poison.

He mixes them up before you can take them out. Of course. I want everybody to have the same experience with the cider. Anyways, it's not poison. Nothing instills confidence like someone saying it's not poison. Well, cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Sully does that thing where you pretend to drink but then just pours it down his back. Like Cookie Monster. I catch that in my empty cup which I had already drank. I'm like, I'm not going to waste this. What does this cider taste like, guys? Like kombucha.

Oh, kind of fizzy? Yeah, it's a little young maybe I would have said. A little green, a little fresh. Is it just apple juice? Well, it's not quite apple juice and it's not quite cider. It's somewhere tillium yuppling and it goes, ya close. Hey, maybe sometime do you guys want to pay for cider? Yeah, can we shuffle down and pay for some cider? Yeah, let's go to the paid cider. Just to compare. This one's on you guys. I'm sorry, what? No, totally. This one's on us. No problem.

Hold on, because he got the free ones? Just to be nice. It's fine. So, six ciders, my good person? This one has a monocle on. The opposite of an iPad. Just the same guy? Did he just come three boots over? He's also breathing kind of heavy. Welcome to my paid cider cart. All the cider costs money here. Why does everyone in this village seem to have the same sort of loose New Jersey accent? That's a great question. And some kind of eye? Is there… You know what?

Now that you mention it, we all do kind of have an eye thing. You know what I mean? Anyway, six ciders, that'll be one coin, please. Here you go, my good man. Thank you very much. He gives you the cider. One for six? I know, one coin? How much is a coin? The Dungeon World economy is very loose. I'll give you guys a quick… Let me take a quick… Because I can honestly never remember how much stuff costs. I mean, D&D has serious real money and we don't care about that at all.

There are silvers and coppers and… Russ tries every once in a while, but… I made them get a bank account. Wow. So here's an interesting thing. Bandages, which have three uses and cost five coins and heal four damage. That's five coins. A healing potion, which heals ten damage, is fifty coins. It's exponential growth. Yeah. A week's stay at a peasant inn is fourteen coins minus your charisma. Right, because you can be like, hey… What about a week's stay at a holiday inn? Hmm.

That's a civilized inn. They do have that. A week's stay at a civilized inn is thirty coins minus charisma. But if you stay there for two months, you get kind of a deal, because they don't have to clean as often, so it's a little bit less. Now what if you just want it hourly? Because you just enjoy jumping up and down on the beds. Yep. But you don't want to make your own bed. That actually costs a little bit more for discretion. You add your charisma score onto the price for that one.

God, can't a halfling just bounce on a bed? Only because I know what that means I'll say no. I've been to the halfling lands. I know what's up. I don't know. Where are halflings from in Faerun? It doesn't matter. Everywhere. Everywhere and nowhere. Oh. Interesting. Oh, yeah. They're kind of like a diaspora. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. They're all over the place. Got them in the hills, in the mountains. Under the ground. No, those are gnomes. In the trees. You can't tell me where I can live.

Sully starts digging. Are you going to halfling-splain? Yes. That's right. Sorry, I'll go back to my corner over here. You're the guy at the bartered cider booth. Oh, there's a bartered cider booth. It's in between the free cider and the paid cider. Hey, who's got a deal? Oh. Yeah, I got a bunch of this cheap, shitty cider. I'll give you this. Free cider for a bit of your ha-cider? Oh, yeah. We got the ha-cider over here. You can take it and you can trade it for funnel cakes later.

Billy, what do you think, bud? Oh, I would eat any kind of cake for sure. A funnel. Whatever other shapes exist. Cup? Great. As long as you give them the cup, they put the funnel cake in the cup. But then does it make it a cupcake? You're onto something. You're onto something. Yeah, so you kind of got the run of this fair. There's games. From what you can hear, there's a cider competition going on. Some sort of judge all the ciders deal and, you know, just general fair stuff.

Hey, what are you guys doing here? Well, you know, we heard that Murphy Vengabus bit the biscuit and well, the sign was a little confusing because someone read it to me but they said, my uncle? And so I'm like, hold on a second. We're going to have to fight someone for his uncle's stuff. That's what I think. So just be on your toes. We came to see the haunted house. Yeah, what he said.

In a more general sense, we're going to save the world and this is just like one stop in our grand scheme to save the world. But Glim, have you told him about Bahamut yet? Oh my God, you guys know about Bahamut? We've known you for five minutes and I can't believe she hasn't bonded up yet. Well, I mean, cider and I can talk about Bahamut if you guys want. Yeah. Oh yeah, please. I would like to a quick primer on Bahamut. Okay.

There's this really cool guy and his name's Bahamut and he basically like makes the world full of truth and justice and make sure all the good people are punished. No, no opposite that. Oh my God, this cider is going into my head. This is so embarrassing for Glim. Wow. Can we still record this forever? Look, look, that guy's doing caricatures. We need a picture of Glim fucking up a speech.

I guess the thing is usually people have walked away by now, so I don't usually get this far into my whole spiel about Bahamut, but you know, rewards the good, punishes the bad, maintains an equilibrium of truth and justice in the world. Is it like a dragon god? Yeah, well, I mean, he's a dragon, but sometimes he's an old man. You know gods. Totally. Yeah. Super chill. Totally. He's a really cool guy. Do you guys want to get one of those like potato potatoes? Yes, I do.

Do they do blooming onions here? Does anyone know? Oh, yeah. They saw blooming onions in the next row over. I'll go get a blooming onion with you. Yeah, they just grow in the ground honestly. They're just picked by a British guy. Blooming. Just rummage around in the ground and find a blooming onion. That's like a Mario 2 situation. Yeah, you pull it out. If you pull it quick enough, they're still warm. And if you lift it above your head, you get 20 gold.

Yeah, there's so you head to the food court area. There are all of the fried foods that you could imagine. There are rotato potatoes. There's regular potatoes, french fried potatoes, a variety of rats. Get your rats. There's a rat booth. Is he saying rats? It's a raps. Rat raps, I believe. Yeah, it looks like a rat inside a wrap. It's a rat. A rat wrap. Can you rap about the rat rap, please? In West Philadelphia, born and raised on the playgrounds where I learned rat raps. Yeah.

I can't use that. Just behind a paywall. This is on their show. Will Smith, if you got a problem, with us, Abdul will fight you on his front lawn. His address is Yeah. Get over here, Fresh Prince, and I will do you dirty. Fuck, I shouldn't have said that. I mean, he might come over now. Can I discern realities or spell Laura? Absolutely. Oh my God. It feels weird. Yeah, it does, doesn't it? Go ahead. So Spout Lore. Well, no, I guess discern realities.

We'll do a discern realities, which is 2d6 plus your wisdom modifier. Okay. Shit. Five. Straight up failure. Yeah. Okay. So your failure is you look around and you're like, man, something is fucking up with this place. And you notice that the the edge of the forest that your cart came through. You can't seem to find the path that brought you into this place. And the more you look around, you realize you can't really see a path that will bring you out of this place. Oh, fuck.

It's a side, isn't it? It's churning in here. No, it's not that it's do you guys see where the entrance where we came in was? Yeah, it was right over the what? Are we trapped here? Well, you know, I'm not totally surprised. It was an impenetrable tunnel. So that was the weird part. Yeah. Yeah. The fact we got in here is just completely amazing as it is. We should probably just enjoy it. That owl fucked with me. I make it what? Sorry, that owl. I think he had something to do with it. Okay.

Sully looks at Moonglum like this guy, a guy with a guy with a top hat and a coat with tails walks up to you and he's got like a domino mask across his eyes like one of those straight up black masks. It's like, hey, are you guys enjoying the midnight fair inside a festival? Yeah, but it's only like 8 p.m. So I think you need to get your time in. Or is it for mystery? It's more of a mystery kind of thing. It's like a branding operation. Anyways, would you guys like to play a game?

Can I see if he's like suspicious in any way? Yeah, you can discern realities. The man in the top hat and the mask? It doesn't seem suspicious at all. This guy seems normal. And I roll it with 2d6 plus wisdom. Six and then two. So that's nine total. All right. So that means you get one question out of the discern realities list. Okay. You just fully covered your camera like that to look at. And it's not on any of these sheets. I don't remember. It's fine.

The questions for discern realities are what here is useful or valuable to me? Who is really in control here? What here is not what it appears to be? That one. What here is not what it appears to be? Yeah, that's what I'm looking for. Okay. I'm using my binoculars mentally. Oh, the binoculars? Yeah, my mental binoculars. You realize that it's not that everybody in the different booths seems to be vaguely similar.

It's that they are all the same guy and he is running from booth to booth and putting on different disguises because he seems to be panting nonstop. I already knew that. All right. Billy is like Billy tells him he's just like, I'm sorry. I don't have anything new for you guys. But if you would let me finish if you would let me finish my sentence. All right. All of the sounds that you've been hearing people laughing people having a good time all the games being played bells and whistles.

You can see that there's a series of music bottles left all over the place and anything that you saw that you thought was people was like tricks of the light. So you're as far as you can tell the only ones here. Oh my gosh, you guys look over there but like not obviously those aren't empty cider bottles. It's a trap and tucked as a slow turnaround to discreetly look. It's like this. So this is weird. Super discreet. Great visual gag on an audio. It's perfect. Yeah. Yeah.

Dungeon fans will like that. They get it a lot. They get it. But what you do see is closer to the wooden painted facade of the haunted mansion. You see two figures and the guy standing in front of you who's like, do you want to play a game? Is it okay? You know what? Just bring out the nephew. I'll fight him and solve this whole thing. That is not the situation that you find yourself in my fine fellow. The game is not nephew fight. The game is not nephew fight. It's Sully's favorite game.

The nephew fight takes place at the midday festival, a midday fair and beer fest. Oh, yes. Brawling during midday is my favorite. That's when people fight the most we found. That's right. When the sun is its highest in the sky. That is the best time because you make a public scene. Yeah. There's no shadows. No one gets an unfair advantage. Do you guys have uncle race here? Uncle. I'm unfamiliar with that. What race is your uncle? What race is your uncle? Yeah.

It's where you try and guess what race an uncle is. I thought that was the one where you put the uncles in wheelbarrows and just go for it. I mean, that's what it is in the halfling lands. Right? Throw a bunch of halflings in a barrel or in a wheelbarrow. Yes. The uncles and all the nephews and nieces. You get to the river, you dump them in. Whoever dumps their uncles first. It's called dump-a-nunk. Exactly. You've played it before. You know what? Yeah. It's been so…

I haven't talked with another halfling in forever. It's been both so long and too soon. Yes. He didn't mean that. Yeah. Now I'm realizing that the halflings that are looking at each other look very different from one another. Yeah. Because Sully's kind of like slight and like lean and what? How tall would you say? Like three, three and a half? Three foot five. Wow. You are just absolutely… I'm towering above him. I love you. Statuesque. Thanks. You know, come from a tall family, I think.

So these are lifts a little bit too. So yeah. Oh, very nice. Some newspaper in there. Sully, correct me if I'm wrong, but do halflings have kind of a hobbit foot situation going on? Yeah. They're a little furry feet. Yeah. So Billy, this halfling also has large furry feet. You can't see him though. I put them in boots. Oh. I don't flaunt my foot situation. Oh, I love it. You can ask me about it if you want. You also got that on your certain reality. You could see through boots.

It's just right there. The Billnoculars have achieved an x-ray quality. I have to close them off because I'm like, well, I'm seeing too much now. Yeah, that's right. Be careful where you point those. Yeah. Just to clarify, you don't have to fight anybody's uncle. You merely have to spend a night in the haunted mansion of Count Murphy Vangabus. Are you Vangabus? Are you Vangabus? No, I'm not Vangabus. Prove it. Vangabus is dead, one. Vangabus is dead. Vang pokes him in the face.

He's trying to see if he's corporeal. I'm corporeal. Don't you worry. You get him in the eye once or twice. And two, the Count's nephew, Dremel Vangabus, is right over there. Sorry. We look over there. There's a guy in a dark robe with long, dark hair standing with another person who looks… Russ? Who looks very dapper. He's got tails, full tails, and a top hat, and a very pronounced beard. And he's panting. And it's the same guy you were just talking to. I've seen this guy before.

Okay, guys, there's something… I mean, obviously, we are going on here. Excuse me, sir, do you mind? I'm having a private conversation. Who, me? Yeah, you. I saw you leaning in. It wasn't anything weird I was trying to do. I was just trying to listen to your conversation. Is that a strange thing? If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean. Now, shoot. Oh, goddamn, you're right. I got 50 booths I gotta clean. Somebody spilled cider all over there and peed on that barrel over there.

Don't ask me how I know. And he's off. Guys, something weird's going on. Something weird's going on here. Oh, yeah. Because, like, number one, you know, all the weird stuff that Billy said. But then, also, if the nephew's here, why is he giving away his uncle's fortune? And number three, what was the dress code for this festival? Because I feel like we kind of went, like, festival casual and, like, they're wearing top hats and tails. And I just…

I mean, I could have dressed up, but I didn't know. It's inconsiderate not to include it on the poster. Just put the dress code on the poster. If it's going to be black tie, that's fine. But just, like… But also, yeah, everything's totally weird. And, like, why is the nephew want us to… I guess we could go ask. Should we just go… I mean, are we doing anything? We just spend the night here? There's also, like, no way out, right? Like, we're trapped… That's a good point.

That's a great point. We're trapped in here, Mirror Dimension style. Anyone see the most recent What If episode for the Marvel What If series? I skipped it. He's doing fantasy shit. He's doing fantasy shit. He's doing fantasy shit. He's doing fantasy shit. The guy with the top hat and the domino mask is like, there's just too much Marvel stuff now. You know what I mean? It's kind of hard to keep up with everything. He saturated the market is what it has done.

It's like, I like an Avenger as much as the next guy, but do I really want to know what fucking Bucky's up to once he gets a haircut? I don't think so. He's very mopey, sir. Oh, as you guys are wandering over, that's not Dremel Vangabus. It's the guy with the top hat and the other guy. So many guys with top hats. Right? It's hard to keep track of all of them. Yeah. Okay. Man in front of the haunted mansion with a dark robe and a long, slick hair. Top hat, we know. No, no top hat.

His fingers are steepled in front of him, standing next to a dapper man in a top hat. Okay, wait. What are his nails like? Oh, good question. Perfectly manicured. Long, sharp. Serial killer. Yeah, right? Fuck this guy. Jesus. Yeah. This guy's a serial killer. Tuck says to the guy. I hear moot whisper in, and then I'm like, yeah, you're right. This guy is a serial killer. He presses his hand to his chest, and he goes, what? Me? A serial killer? Look, he's even got this serial killer accent.

I can assure you, fine folks, we are not serial killers. Why have you trapped us here? Where's the way out? I know not what you mean. You are not trapped. You have merely come to take advantage of an opportunity. I have no opportunity. Yeah, we already had the free cider. Ah, well, then there is a second opportunity. I had the Bloomin' Onion, man. The batter was quite wet. The guy said, let me fry it for you, and I said, no need, my friend. So it is a raw onion with a lot of wet beer back.

Tuck, you look over, and Tuck's beard is like caked. Just in dirt. Like cemented to your face. Now it's beard batter. What? It's beard batter. Oh, sorry. The man with the top hat leans in to what you can presume is the nephew and says, but why did we choose these people? It was not a choice, my good man. It was an opportunity presented to many. Anyone brave enough to take it has the chance of a lifetime. Unfortunately, few have taken that chance. So we are forced to accept whoever arrives.

Whoever arrives. I, Dremel, Dremel, I have to ask, why do you not just take your uncle's estate? Ah, my uncle, the Count Murfew Vengabus was a troubled man. He had many aspirations, which saw to his early end. I, myself, Dremel Vengabus, a lesser noble in the Vengabus family. I am wealthy beyond your wildest dreams, but what I love more than money. Is a spectacle. And so gross. From behind the nephew, two symbols clash together. Confetti cannon. Please tell them the rules of tonight.

Well, first you must enter the haunted house. Okay. Then you must spend the night in the haunted house. Okay. Uh-huh. Then, if you make it, you win. What was it they win? All of it? The haunted mansion. The haunted mansion. As well as the riches contained within. Yeah, hold on. This is a real estate situation. Like, okay, are we in a pocket dimension or does this mansion actually exist somewhere? I don't want a fucking house. I got to take up. The upkeep of this thing is going to be absolutely.

It's in the middle of a forest. I mean, come on. That guy over there, he will clean it for you. Ah, so it's more like a vacation home. Okay. Yeah, there's a guy with horn-rimmed glasses and a full-on janitor's jumpsuit and a mop and he's panting really hard and he gives you a thumbs up. Yeah, I'm going to clean the shit out of this place. Don't you worry. It comes with it. You know what? Why don't you just give the mansion to this guy? He's the hardest working guy in your crew.

He's working so hard. Yeah, small one. I have a question. What is the house haunted? Oh, that's a great question. Great question. The ghost. Thank you. I mean, not the ghost. No, the mansion is haunted by ghosts. Okay, that was kind of a given. That's it. That's it. Thank you, Edmund. But like, what kind of ghosts? Just a sort of general ghost. Ah, fuck this guy.

Edmund, as you've said, whoever stays one full evening inside my uncle's mansion receives the entire state as well as the inheritance contained and the riches contained within. Can we Spout Lore on the ghosts? Yeah, totally. You can Spout Lore about this whole situation. All right. So 2d6 plus intelligence, which is none of your strong suits. None. One. And one. Woo! You roll like me. Jessica. You guys can roll dice too, you know. Yeah, you know what though? I don't understand this game.

Oh, yeah. So I'm just gonna RP the shit out of this. That's the thing. Literally, if you tell me, just tell me something you wanna do. Okay. And I will tell you what move that is. And then you will roll it and I will tell you what happens after that result. Excellent. So I will just explain it to you as we go. Nice. So if your character has something they would like to achieve, let me know and we'll figure it out. You are so much more accommodating than Russ is gonna be.

I'm so sorry for your players. You know, I didn't wanna say anything, but… He's gonna make you play D&D. Okay, good to know. Thanks, Sean. Yeah. So yeah, actually, great question. So Moot, Glim, Sully, anything you wanna try and figure out while we're here? Not yet. Okay. I'm gonna wait till it's D&D before I start rolling things. No. Wait till we're on my home tour. And the minute we step through the door, is it gonna become D&D? D&D town? Pretty quick. Damn it.

The way it's gonna work is I'm gonna do the initial chunk of the house and then we'll switch and then Russ will take it home. Yeah, I think that sounds good. Unless we dick around on the front steps for a while. That's right. Unless we sample cider at like every booth in the hall. When he hears you say that, the guy in the janitor's outfit is like, please, no. He starts unzipping like real sad. He's just chugging a Gatorade trying to replenish his stomach. He does electrolytes.

He does a line of halfling white powder. All right. Okay, hold on. You said we're not trapped in here. No. But you've taken out the exits. No. I do not know what you speak of. We did nothing. You guys want to stay in the haunted house? I mean, you guys look like a bunch of accomplished, you know, useful weirdos. Yeah. Oh, sorry. I'm talking to my, the Sully moot and glim here. Oh, sorry. Yes, we will. We will go converse in the foyer.

They both sweep up the staircase, which I should say, they're talking about this place as if it's a grand palace, but it is very much a wooden painted facade of a mansion. I mean, you guys look like you can handle yourself. We know that we're down for whatever. What do you, like what? They're not letting us go. They're not giving us any information. Let's just sleep in this haunted mansion. Yeah. And then, okay. So, I mean, let's say we all come out alive. Well, yeah. Let's say that. Well, yeah.

No, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying it. Let's assume, let's assume we're all going to make it out alive. Are we going to work this thing like a timeshare or like? Yeah. How do we split the money? I mean, our daily rate is five gold coins a day. Yeah. Plus dental. So. So as long as we come out with at least that much, I think we're fine. 15 gold for the night. And then you guys can take the rest. I mean, your math is confusing, but okay. I mean, it doesn't.

Uh, hey, Hey, uh, Butler, whoever you are. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Uh, how, how many coins are in the prize bag in the inheritance? Well, I mean, did we count the coins? Uh, no, there's a, there, there's a vault. Uh, there's a paintings. There's a. So it's not just one bag with a dollar sign on it. No, no. We kept everything. Can I ask a related question? Yes. I don't really care about like worldly goods. I'm wondering if there's any sort of like pure of heart reason why we would be doing this.

Like, do the ghosts need to be free to go on to the great beyond or like any sort of. Sure. Oh, I mean, okay. Then I'm, I'm totally in. What do you guys think? I mean. Why did you put a facade up? I, I don't know what you mean. This is the, this is the mansion of count. The Murphy. You think of us? If, uh, if one of you want to, wants to maybe learn something about the situation. You can go ahead and roll a discern reality. I want it. I want to roll. All right. I want to discern reality.

So discern realities is 2d six plus your wisdom modifier. Of course. Russ gave me negative one. I mean, I did this sheet myself and I have a zero Tom. Let's just a quick check in on wisdom for our characters. Uh, wisdom got a solid zero. I made the match your D and D characters. Okay. Uh, I rolled a six minus one, six minus six minus one total. Yeah. Uh, that's a five and that's a failure.

So go ahead and take a point of experience that will, uh, evaporate into thin air at the end of our crossover. I was going to say, I don't even know where to put it on my sheet. Just put a check Mark there. And, uh, as you are trying to like, you're like kind of looking at everything, like something seems even more off about this place. Um, you're just like, nah, they've really, they've really got it together. I don't know. I don't know why, but this seems legit to me. Guys, I'm on board.

I don't know what it is about this place. Is it the facade gives me those, you know, nostalgic feelings of the way that fairs were when parents would probably take children there or something like that. We should definitely go inside. I agree. Let's go. Can we just walk? Like I start going up the there's steps. Hey. Yeah. There's like, there's front steps. It's about, you know, like 30, 40 steps. It's nothing huge. Uh, I mean, it seems like a lot of steps. There's a lot of stairs.

There you go, Billy. And, uh, something you notice as you're going up these steps is they're certainly moving a lot. Like they're definitely like, rickety as hell. Yeah. They feel like they're kind of bouncing a little bit as you're going up and the closer you get, you start hearing like, I don't know what you're doing. Cause Zoom's Yeah. Zoom did not want you to make that noise. Okay. Then you're kind of hearing this, like, like, wind. Wow. So can you stand?

It's so breezy up here from inside the house. It's definitely feels like it's coming from like the, basically the entryway, like Billy, Tuck and Bing, you're more familiar with this kind of technology. As you get closer to the front door, you see kind of like in a potted plant next to the doorway, you see another music bottle, like jammed in the dirt. And then you see a little bit of a cork off, and that's definitely where this like, wind sound is coming from. Can I take it? I want it.

Okay, sure. I'm taking the wind. We'll stay the night, but I'm taking the wind. You can just jam a cork in there and then, the wind sound stops completely. Right. Tuck steals the potted plant too. Great. So now you're just carrying- I mean, it's all going to be ours- Yup. At the end of the night, right? That's a positivity I love. That's a positivity I love.

And as you get up to the doorway, you hear like, creak, and the doors swing inward, revealing the yawning portal of the entryway to the mansion of Count Murphy Vengabus. Is it an actual portal? No, it's a doorway. Oh, okay. Can I discern realities? Yep, absolutely. One of you is going to get to discern realities eventually. Okay. Five failed. Jesus fucking Christ. Okay. It's dark in here. Yeah, it is. The three of you. Okay. So the three plus three, the six. I'm used to saying the three.

The six of you walk through the doorway, and as you get inside, you're struck by the deep gloom inside the entryway. And once the last of you steps through, the doors slam shut behind you. Boom. And complete pitch black darkness. And after a few seconds, a light starts to rise in the room, and you see, you know, one of those like double stairways that goes up to like a second floor door. You see one of those. You see a table covered in candelabras. Covered in candelabras. How many candelabras?

Give us one of these. Many menorahs? A table absolutely sagging under the weight of the candelabras that sit atop it. You see bookcases. You see a bookcase. You see a bookcase. You see a grandfather clock. Paintings on the wall. Two rooms to either side of you. And all of this is lit by what very much seems to be a series of black lights. Black lights? Wow. Yeah. Like there's white cobwebs on everything, and they're glowing bright under the light.

And there's like sticky spiders all over the place. Like plastic green glowing spiders. I'm starting to have the feeling that maybe this is a movie. Maybe this place isn't haunted at all. Yeah. Billy's gonna go. I'm going over to the cobwebs, and I start wrapping myself up in them. I'm like, dibs. I have this for my blanket. Billy, you don't even realize they're cobwebs, because you just grab them, because they look so soft. And it feels like the softest cotton.

Maybe a little artificial, but just such soft, like spun cotton. That's nice. And you get a little plastic spider. There's a little plastic spider wrapped up in it, too. Nice. So yeah, what do you all do? Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! In response, you hear, Hello. Show yourself. Leave this place now before it's too late. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you there, ghost. It's okay. I left a long enough gap between my initial ooh and when I started speaking. I just wasn't sure of you.

I'm gonna continue. But now, again, you must leave this place, place, place. Do you have like unfinished business we could help with? Or I'd really like to set your soul free. In life, I was a great, um… Fuck. This is what it actually sounds like. In life, I was an influential… Oh, fuck. Carpenter. I was a carpenter. And I was… As I constructed a home for my beloved and I to live in, I was crushed by a support beam. And that is my tragic backstory. That's really like a multiple person job.

I agree. It was not up to code. I mean, I'm willing to help whoever, but like between us, that doesn't really… Just like a safety standard issue, more than like a tragic backstory. But I mean… I mean, even if you really think about it, it's not something you can help me with. Instead, perhaps help me with this task. Ooh. Inside this room contains our three keys. The hands. The hands. Jazz hands. I know. I only see the one hand. So it's just… You start to… You start to…

At the top of the staircase behind the banister, you start to see a couple hands pop up doing like these twiddly fingers. That's some spirit fingers you got going on there. Inside this chamber, these chambers, three are contained keys. Also three required to unlock the door behind me. So there are three keys in each room or one key in each of the three rooms? Yes. Yes. Oh my God. That's not the same number. Moose, does that math add up to you? I don't even know what's going on.

All I know is this guy liked to party. Find the keys if you wish to continue or your fate shall be sealed like mine. And then it stands up behind the banister at the top of the staircase, glowing bright white. The brightest blinding white is a white sheet of a white sheet of white. And then it's like, I don't know what's going on. I don't know. It's a white sheet with holes cut in the eyes and two hands underneath. Doing this movement, this twiddly kind of sixties dance move.

I want to go- Find the keys- No, please go you first. I'm so sorry. No, please. I've done my thing. It's now your turn. I want to go up the stairs and just see how many keyholes are up there. Cause I don't know if we're looking for six keys or three keys. No, don't. Don't come back. Come up the stairs. Not yet. Can I dash up there and grab off his blanket? You certainly can. Okay. Try. So 2d6 plus dexterity. That'll be a defy danger.

I'm going to try and throw my spear and take the blanket off of him and just put the spear in the wall behind him. Not to the man, but you know. That's okay. No, no, no, no, no, no. But what you're saying is a thing that would be extremely difficult to do. The other thing that you would do, likely, is throw a spear into a man. Uh, whatever. He's a ghost. Yeah. He's a ghost, Sean. Ghosts can't feel spears. Yeah. And I said that. Oh, a ghost, eh? All right.

I don't think you know much about ghosts. Ghosts can't feel spears, Sean. Ghosts are impervious to spears. But they can lift sheets. We all know that. That's the thing. Everybody knows about ghosts is they're impervious to spears. I'm going to spear it. Okay. 2d6 plus. Spear. Plus your dexterity. Nice. My dexterity is 2, I think. Yeah. I got 9 in total. Okay. Use a little aid here. So I don't spear a man who's clearly not a ghost. Actually, let's see.

So aid in Dungeon World is you roll 2d6 plus your bond, which is another stat that Dungeon World has reflecting how close people are. I'm going to give you, I'm just going to say everybody's got a plus 1 in this because you've been palling around. You're in a situation now. We've been drinking together. Yeah, exactly. So if one of you wants to aid Ving in his spear throwing, tell me how you do it and then we will roll. I will go behind him.

I don't know how tall you are, but this is going to be awkward. I go behind him and like, like put my hand on his hand and like guide the spear. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right, so 2d6 plus bond, which will be plus one. So that's a 2d6, Amy. Ooh, that's a nine plus one is 10. Yes! Whoa! Finally! That makes it a plus 10. Thank you, Sully!

And that is a perfect aid. You're fitting right into the Spout Lore. No, you. So through the absolutely borderline sensual guidance of Sully, Ving, your spear flies true. And as the hands are raising up, creating sort of like a, you know, a bridge between the hand and the top of the head in the spear, your spear catches right in that shoulder area, ripping the sheet fully off. And you see a human body duck down beneath the banister and go, what are you doing? And then they go, huh?

And you hear somebody stumble through the back door. The doors at the top of the staircase swing open for a second and then slam shut. Seems like we don't need. We don't need any keys, so. You hear a, you hear a wonk and like a crackle. And then a voice seems to emanate from the room itself. It goes, just find the keys. It's totally normal to do that. I thought we were just supposed to sleep in this house. Yeah. There's slightly more to the situation. There always is.

Yeah, I wanted to go upstairs, but as I do, I want to play the game. Slightly. And I want to initiate trap expert. Oh, perfect. Yes. A trap expert is 2d6 plus dexterity. Okay. That's a seven. Okay. So you get one point of hold, which you can spend on trap expert to ask one of those questions. Okay. What else is hidden here? Ah, brilliant. You start like walking towards the staircase and you're looking around like this place is fucking weird.

And as you start walking towards the staircase, you see the grandfather clock has two regular clock hands, but one of the hands looks very strange. Oh, I go up to it. Is it a key? It's a key. Hey guys, I found a key. Wow. Oh, wow. Only two or five to go. One or the other. I guess if we're going to also play the game, I need to do quest, which means I dedicate myself to this mission. Oh, is Bahamut going to be jealous? No, no. Cause I do this by commuting with Bahamut.

I pull up that tool, keep the letter and I'm like, Bahamut, come on man. Just like help me out a little bit. We're staying in this place or maybe we're finding keys. I don't really know like exactly what the situation is. Something about a bad support beam. Either way, if you could just like do me a solid and get us through this, that would be dope. I forgot about quest. This could be a real, real problem for me. Oh, that's okay. I don't know how it works. So quest here's, this is fun.

We've never had a paladin in the game and our game is very low magic. So this is an interesting move. The paladin has the move quest. When you dedicate, actually, you know what, Carla, why don't you read it out? Sure. When you dedicate yourself to a mission through prayer and ritual cleansing, state what you set out to do. So I have some options with some blanks, slay blank, defend blank from blank, discover the truth of blank, which is maybe more what we're doing here. Yeah.

Then choose up to two boons, an unwavering sense of direction to blank invulnerability to pick one, a mark of divine authority senses that pierce lies. I don't even know what that means. It's very poetic though. A voice that transcends language, freedom from hunger, thirst, and sleep. So Carla's about to just end the game. I was going to say, anytime you need to pull the rip cord, just say, and now it's dungeons and drag.

I'm feeling it's about to, it's about to end, but cause I, there's one I'm looking at that's just like, well, yeah. Okay. So what do you, what would you choose for your two boons? Um, I don't care about freedom from hunger, thirst, and sleep. I mean, there's so much free cider, right? Exactly. I still have a lot of blooming onion with me. Yeah. Things looking, talks beard in a platonic way. Oh yeah. Open mouth though.

Uh, I probably want senses that Pierce lies and probably an unwavering sense of direction to keys. Yep. That'll do it. That'll do it. Wow. No wonder you never showed us this move before. Sorry. I shouldn't have read the sheet. Maybe that was your first mistake. Maybe I've ruined everything. An unwavering sense of direction to keys. God damn it. Uh, so, yeah, you pray to Bahamut. You say, Hey Bahamut, I'm in a haunted house. Can you help me out? Then you hear the voice of Bahamut in your ear.

That's like been there. No problem. And your eyes take on the sites in a new light and you see just how fucking shabby this place is for the first time. The craft in this place is of middling to poor quality. It's all covered with like an overabundance of Halloween ish. Decorations and the black light makes things scarier than they would look normally because it's all like plywood and paint. You look over at tuck and he's eating a bowl of peeled grapes. That's the eyeballs on the side.

The witch's eyeballs. Yeah. Oh, these are just grapes. Fuck. I wanted these to be eyeballs. That would have been so metal. Yeah. Billy's like arm deep in a bowl that says brains, but it's just spaghetti. Yeah. I'm really going to town even though I'm really full. So, I'm panting. I'm also panting a lot. Gotta make room for all this. Be a hero, Billy. Be a hero. I'm just like talking to myself, talking myself up. Try and make myself feel better about this haunted night we're going to have.

That's what heroes do. Yeah. And your eyes are drawn. Bahamut whispering in your ear. Hey, go to the dining room. He's just playing hot and cold. He's like, warmer, warmer, colder, colder. No, that's exactly what's happening. Bahamut doesn't get a lot of prayers that involve haunted houses. So, he's into this one. Pretty good time. Yeah. Go to the dining room. Yeah. I'm just going to, I'm just going to head into the dining room. I got a bit of a feeling.

Bahamut's kind of giving me some key vibes. Okay. From in there. All right. So, where do you think it is? There's, I'm going to pull out the chair at the head of the table. Oh, you're close. Okay. And then kind of duck under the table. No, cold, cold. Oh, oh. Cold. I pull out each chair and look at the seat. As you get closer to the middle of the table, where the table settings are, there's like a serving dish in the middle with like the silver, like kind of lid.

And Bahamut's like, hot, hot, burning hot. So fucking, it's right. It's, you're so close. You're so close. And I lift it up. Ta-da. There it is. And there's a key underneath. I like the Bahamut's coming to you as like a surfer dude. It's kind of right. This is. Bahamut. No spoilers, but this is what every dragon we've ever met has sounded like. So this is. Fair enough. This is as close as I've gotten. I love it. And yeah, so Glim has found another key under the serving dish. That's two keys.

And Bahamut is also like, look, let's just fucking speed run this. There's, go to the library. Okay. Library. Let's go. I feel like we're all following behind her. Yeah. Yeah. We're bored. I'm just like, Oh God, I'm fingers rolling as hard. So he's shape-shifting his eyes to roll so hard. See, I told you guys about him. It was so cool. Just go to the library and here you go. Look, where do you think it is? Oh, nevermind.

And, uh, Bahamut seeing through your eyes, sees a ghost, a sheet ghost sitting on a chair with a cup of cider in its hand with like the sheet lifted up and you can see a mouth underneath. And then it looks like, oh, everybody goes, Oh fuck. Ooh. Got this asshole again. It's, uh, another. Is it Dremel? Do we recognize him? No, you actually don't recognize the face underneath. Is this Tillium Yup? There's no way to know for sure. That's a yes. And Bahamut's like, uh, that dude just has the key.

Oh, um, excuse me. Excuse. Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Do you have a key? Could just have, I mean, maybe, maybe you forgot to hide it or something. Like I won't tell your boss or anything. It's totally fine. Like just. No, the keys are, are hidden amongst the. Oh fuck. Yeah. Shit. Could you turn around for a second? Yeah. Yeah. Totally.

Totally. Yeah. All six of us turn around like, I'll leave this guy's dignity a little bit, I guess. And can Tuck do the look behind again? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. He does another one of these. Oh, God. We got to watch him go through this whole thing. False start. False start, everyone. No, he wants to look extra hard. Oh, my God. Tuck, as you're turning around, stretching your eyelids open so you can see extra hard, you hear a quick shuffling.

And as you turn back, you see the ghost twiddling its hands. So much. Of course it hurts, Abdul. You're stretching your eyes out. I cannot look. Oh, my God. You look like a vizier. You look like a vizier. Abdul, we're trying to make a good impression. You look like Jafar. You look like Jafar. He's locked into it now. He can't look. No. Give me your secrets, ghost man. Give me your secrets. Someone patted him on the back when he was doing this. Now he's stuck like this.

His eyes are going to fall out if you hit him too hard. No. I hope he doesn't sneeze. Oh, my God. It hurts. Shit. I know. It's hurting my heart. I can't. Abdul. I can't look at it. You got to stop, dude. I hate this. Now say, seek thee out the diamond in the rough. Just say it. The diamond in the rough. It is. Why, it's the vizier. Why, that would be me. Okay, Jossie. Jossie's going to get us. Stop it. I'll show you just how snake-like I can be. There is a… Someone fucking screeched.

I already did. It's already… Oh, my God. Imagine that made me go blind. So, as when you turn around, Tuck, after you hear a quick shuffling, you turn around and you see the ghost standing next to the bookcase, twiddling its hands, and one of the books is like halfway out of the shelf. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's like, wherever could the third key be?

Tuck walks up and smashes up the shelf with his axe and grabs the book. The ghost jumps to the side to avoid the cascade of books that you knock off the shelf. Oh, you found the third key. I found it. It's in this copy of Love and Lust. Congratulations. Now, continue on into the mansion you made. Yay. We do. Yeah, and we're all, goodbye. See you later. And this ghost ducks out the door behind him and slams it shut.

And when you go out into the foyer, there's another ghost standing at the top of the staircase. Well done. Now, through this door, you can walk deeper into the mansion of Count Murphy Vangerbosch. Is his sheet ripped? It's a little ripped. But they're standing right in front of him. They're standing right in front of you as you get to the top of the stairs. Congratulations. What now will you do? You gotta, you're like, right. If we could just scooch. We're just gonna.

And we awkwardly, like, walk too close to you around you. It's like, do I go, like, on the front? Or do I go in the back? Is it back to back? Is it front to front? I don't know. As you're walking through, Tuck, you step on the sheet. Like, full on. Just right on top of the sheet. Yeah. And there's a book. A bit of a, oh, whoa. And the sheet comes fully off. And there's no one there. What? Well, that was pretty cool. And that's where we're gonna end it for this week.

I've been your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian of Dual Aziz. And Tuck is eating, like, the grapes. And he's like, no, fuck it. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Hoppers. He's like, Ving's really scared. And he puts the blanket that he got, like, over his head. Like, hold on. Hold it up. Like, oh, my God. He's a ghost. Playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. And Billy got so scared that he fell all the way down the stairs.

And he's gonna have to climb back up. Oh, no. And playing Nerexius Acra, a.k.a. Glim, the Dragonborn Paladin, Carla Maxted. And Glim's like, kisses her hands and kind of puts them to the sky. Like, thanks, Bob. I'm mad. I knew you'd have your girl. Playing Sullivan Slight, the Halfling Rogue, Amy. Sully walks up to the door, looks at it, and goes, I could just pick these lots. It's, like, not a problem. Why the hell? Playing Moot, the Half-Orc Sorcerer, Tom Laird.

Moot picked up the Forgotten About Spaghetti and is just going to town on it. And joining me is Mr. Edmund Tour, manservant to Dremel Murphy, Russ Moore. Edmund's sitting in a back room somewhere being like, I thought we planned a haunted house. Well, Dungeons and Dragons. Dungeons and Dragons is going to be very different. And that is it for this half of the Dungeons and Dragons slash Spell Lord crossover.

If you want to check out the other half and see how the haunted mansion of Count Murphy Vengabus ends, head over to Dungeons and Dragons for the rest of the adventure. We'll see you next time. Ha ha ha! And so ends the tale of Adventures Three, who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be, for time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more.

Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly spell Lord. Hey Spellorians, Abdul here with an end of episode reminder that if you want to get over to the Dungeons and Dragons feed to hear the rest of their episode, the link is in the show notes. Thanks so much for listening everybody. Goodbye.

Hey, Tuck here telling you that without people like you listening to the show and giving us some money, this show wouldn't have happened. Well, it did happen, but it wouldn't be continuing to happen. So if you want to donate and also listen to some bonus stuff, a lot of bonus stuff. Holy shit, like 50 hours of bonus stuff. You can go to speltlore.com slash money, please, or patreon.com slash speltlore. And tell them Tuck sent you. Tuck is the Brute. He knows not his home. He loves to play.

He'll sing and fight. Thing is half-elf. He shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief. His tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody. And welcome back to the show. Welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. And joining me as always playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers.

Hello there. Playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello. Currently had a mouthful of cold brew as I started talking. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jusketai. Hello. When last we left our heroes, they were interrogating an erstwhile member of the Medjay, a hapless fellow named Erk, at the very, very tippy top of the… Lighthouse of McCall. And in the middle of that interrogation, we got an insight into the ritual that Ving endured, survived. Yeah. Yeah.

Initially, we believed undertook, but it sounds more like got through barely. Yeah. And then forgot by accident. Yeah. Through. Was like pushed out of his brain due to the intense trauma of the ritual itself. After that, and some threatening by Tuck to just drop him off. This dude from the top of a 1000 foot high lighthouse.

Billy was able to convince this man via supernatural pinky swear to track down whatever text the Medjay keep that might help them unravel the mysteries of the ritual and to not tell anybody that he's doing it under punishment of Billy knowing immediately where he is at the time and that he has broken that promise. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In case this dude tweets out what they're trying to do and then they'll be ready to track him down. Uh, after that they desperately scaled down the side of the lighthouse of McCall. Is that what you call that leaving a path of destruction down the side. But I mean that place, that thing's probably pretty fucked up already. The lighthouse. Yeah. I mean the outside's probably kind of fucked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a thousand years old and has not been maintained. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. And there's probably, you know, like generations of graffiti and stuff like that carved into the side. They have been trying to like build it back up. There's like a heritage committee. There's guys down there like, what the fuck? Who does this? This is so ancient. There's a bunch of fucking axe marks down there now. What the hell?

And then they crashed through the roof of the shack of an old man named Greg Gregorius Gregory III in his rat petunia. And then they shared a little bit of soup and headed back to the library itself. Just before they headed back to the library, Ving popped into the perceptions of one Ama Margani via Eye of the Tiger to see what was going on. And we got a little bit of an insight to a tea party between Ama and Farhan. And also… Oh, I love it. I love the tiny table giant man. Yeah.

Medically recovering bully and former light guard enforcer, leader of the Immolators, Fatim, who seems to be recovering physically, but not very well emotionally right now. He seems to have come to terms with the fact that the torch was a piece of shit. Well, that and I mean, you know, I'm sure that you guys have been thinking about this, although Tuck did make himself dumber. So it's hard to say if he actually has been. I've been thinking about this.

Fatim was serving the demon of zealotry for years. So it's hard to say he's a bad. He was a bad dude for sure. Fatim was an asshole. He was a cruel person. But it's hard to say how much of what he's done over the last several years was him and how much was the demon of zealotry influencing him. It's also like was during, you know, the more formative years of his life, like mid to late 20s where you're like… That's when you kind of become an okay person a lot of the time.

Or at least lock in the person you think you are. Yeah. And then he probably thought he did. He was like, I'm the hammer of God. And I, you know, I enforced the will of the church. And then when Tuck came to town, he started telling people he was the axe of God. Yeah, he started to take my thing. And then he had that veil ripped away. And he had that influence purged from his mind. So he's like, fuck, what? What am I? If I'm not that, what am I? Classic 33 year old. Totally.

Now that he's like approaching 30, he's like, oh, man. And then, yeah, you headed back to the library and felt safe for the first time in a few days. Had some late night snacks and talked to Farah Margani, master librarian, and kind of gave her the down low on everything except for the attempted possession. There's a ton of work to be done. Of one Pellan guaranteed Corbin. Yeah, we didn't get to that because she got fucking pissed.

Because Billy realized that in escaping from the lighthouse, he forgot at the very top, he lost a library book, which very likely would signal to the Magi, if they find it, who you are working with. I wonder if that will happen. Yeah, nothing to do with like that flashback. Yeah, we got a little post credit scene. Yeah. Oh, and I mean, like, yeah, that's probably what Farah was talking about. But she's also just probably mad that you took a book out of the library. Yeah, she's a librarian.

Yeah, that's like because she said before, do not take books from the library. Thank you for saving my great many times great grandfather and saving the library. Do not remove the books from the premises. Yeah, it broke a big rule. Yeah, the only rule really we were given. We were given pretty free reign. And that is where we find our heroes. Now, Farah has walked out. Perel has gone to the medical wing long ago to rest after getting fucking worked over.

And here you are sitting in the semi empty cafeteria. Billy, you should go apologize. Yeah. So I get off the bench and I and I am scurrying down the hall after Farah. Yeah, you see her. She's walking ahead quite briskly. Farah, wait. She doesn't stop. Initially. I pick up speed. Farah. I'm running too fast to say anything. She does stop after a few more minutes of you chasing her minutes. Unbroken minutes of you chasing her. I trip. I am crying. Then she stops. I'm so sorry.

I know I did a big mistake by taking the book. But I only took it. A long time ago. And honestly, I forgot I had it because I have so many things in my bag all the time. And I'm sorry. I forgot it. I'll never take another book again. And it wasn't even that important of a book. Probably. She stops you there. She says with much less warmth in her voice than you're used to. We are not only an institution of learning. We are a safeguard against the law.

We are a source of loss and abuse of knowledge. By removing that text from these walls, you have betrayed not only my life's calling, but the life's calling of every individual that has ever come here to learn and protect the written word. Oh my God. Billy is speechless. Like I, Jessica, am feeling ashamed. You have undoubtedly. And she hasn't knelt down like you're used to adults doing.

To you when they like you, she's standing full height above you, which is not super tall, but for you, it's like, holy shit. She's huge. You have undoubtedly done a great service to this library and to me personally, as I have said. If this book is not recovered. And she's like, she is kind of speechless a little bit. She's like, it will irrevocably change how I feel about you. But I understand that you are. For all. Sense and purpose as a child.

That your decision making skills perhaps are not as full as mine. And your respect for knowledge is perhaps not as strong as mine. I would like your promise that you will do everything in your power to recover this book. I offer her a pinky promise. Are you othing yourself? I'm othing myself. Whoa. Okay. Okay. Spend the point. Okay. And she kneels down and she extends her pinky to you. Pinky promise. You promise to recover this book. I will give up my life before I don't recover this book. Whoa.

It's the first time I've ever did a promise. So I'm not very eloquent. Sean O'Hara asking, are you saying that if you don't recover this book, Billy will die? I guess. All right. Oh. And she says, I accept. Okay. Does Farrah realize the gravity of what she just did? She does. Billy tried to get her to pinky promise earlier when she, when he was like, promise you won't be mad. And she was like, I'm not going to promise you anything, Billy. Whoa. Like she realizes.

I feel like Billy is, he has never felt like the disappointment of someone that he like loves and respects. And because he's such a traumatized and like love starved little boy, he's like, I will do anything. To get this back. And also his parents are so fucking permissive. Yeah. He's never run up against something. She dusts her knees off after kneeling on the floor and she nods and you can feel a little bit of the warmth come back to her voice.

And she's like, I understand the gravity of the promise that you just made. And I appreciate your commitment to writing this wrong. We will consider the matter tabled. And when the book is returned, then all of us will be able to write it. And all will be well. But please, I'm begging you, do not steal any more books. I will never steal another book again. And if any of your friends have books that they have stolen and have not told me, please ask them to return them. Okay.

I am going to return to my quarters. Okay. Good night. Good night. And she pads away. I run back to the cafeteria. And things there going through like a pile of like herbal. Books and just looking around really sketchily like field guides and I'm sliding them into his hair. Billy slaps the book out of your hand. Billy. Do not steal the books from the library. Okay, pal. Give them back. Did Farrah, was Farrah really mad at you? Yes. What happened? I can't talk about right now.

And Billy like goes to the, I guess like the. The icebox and he packs some like little water cups and like protein shakes. Oh, Billy's leaving right now. Yeah. What you doing, pal? I'm just like, it's really tired and I want to go to bed right now. You're taking bed snacks. Yes. Cause I'm really sleepy and I, and I know I'm going to have a long sleep. So I need a lot of energy for it. Usually when you're really sleepy, you just fall asleep wherever you are.

But I'm like extra, like I'm really a special sleep. Yeah. You're kind of quivering a little bit. Yeah. I, I, it's just cause I'm so tired that I, that, that I'm moving a lot. It's my body being like, hurry up, go to bed. And Tex just like, okay, Billy, you're going to go to bed. Yeah. Okay. And I will sleep for a long time and it's okay. And then find us in the morning. Okay. Yep. Okay. Sweet dreams, Billy. I love you. I love you too. Good night. Love you. Billy like shrinks away.

Elbows up in his arms, hanging at his side as he scuttles. Okay. Interesting. Actually, I just have a quick question. Are we doing like Billy out on the town by himself? Like adventure? Yeah. I got to go get this book. Cool. Yeah. After Billy, like bust out of the room, uh, text, like he's for sure going to leave the library. Oh, definitely. A hundred percent. That is not his going, going to bed. Walk. All right. There we go. Nevermind.

Then it might not be a Billy on his own adventure after all. Okay. Literally the most conspicuous, like came into the cafeteria, said, I'm going to bed now. As he grabbed dungeon rations out of the freezer. Yeah. Okay. That answers every question that I just had. Where the second he leaves, you all get up and you start grabbing your shit and you're like, Billy's going to try and get out. When you said that. Yeah. Ving was packing water bottles into a backpack, filling his camel bag.

Wait, should we go after him or should we let him deal with this? We should go after him. We should definitely, we'll let him deal with it from a distance. Yeah. A respectful distance. We'll hover a distance away if we can keep up with him. Wow. This is like your kid, uh, going to like, like walking to school, walking to school for the first time alone. And us in a helicopter directly above him. Yes. Um, so where would Billy go to get out of here? Yeah. Yeah.

Like, are you going back to basically the motor pool, like the sand boat? Yeah. Um, who was the driver again? Uh, the driver was, uh, he was handlebar mustache. Remember? That was a, that was a joke. No. All right. No. Yeah. Yeah. I was mainly just imagining Hulk Hogan. Yeah. Like a blonde handlebar mustache. Uh-huh. A flat butt and bags under his eyes. Bald with like long hair, long blonde hair. Okay. Way less racist for sure. No. More racist. Okay. He sees Billy and he goes, ew, a halfling.

Can you get away from me? Uh, yeah. Bulko is in the, um, boat launch and he's working on the sand boat that he brought you back in. Bulko. Hey, it's me, Billy. What's up little brother? Um, it's a big emergency. We need to go back to the sticks right now. Uh. Right now. Right now. Farrah told me so. Well, I don't know if I should be letting you a little unattended little kid. No. Don't you usually have two other dudes that are with you? Yeah, but they told me I can go.

They gave express permission and they said, we want you to go alone, Billy. We don't want to go. We are very tired and we trust you. And come back to us. We're around the corner listening to this conversation. I can't believe he actually gets away with this shit. People believe him. Such a fucking liar. Fuck. He doesn't get that from me. He does not get it from me. I don't lie. Who does he get that from? I don't know. Maybe it's the guy that lost us 98 coins. Whoever that is. And the tech looks.

They're stuck in like a wide. Looks at me. Tilt his head forward. Tilt more. And by being in this argument, we have missed most of the conversation. Yeah, totally. Billy, you're going to have to either roll a defy danger charisma or perhaps spend a fairy hold. But that might be. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Rolling charisma. Okay. Oh, boy. It's fine. Five plus two is seven. Five plus two is seven. Billy's like hands and knees. Eyes closed. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. I don't know.

Let's go. Let's go. I've gotten in a lot of trouble in the past for taking people out into the desert with not enough clearance. I'm on thin ice. Little brother. No. Farrah said. And she also said a long time ago that we are basically like the boss of this library. So like, I'm your boss. So please. But like, I'd be really nice about it. All right. All right. All right. Holy shit. Just shut up. Okay. All right. All right. I'm not sure that I can let you. Out of. The boat.

Like, I can take you to McCall and I can take you. I'm going to have to come with you is what I'm saying. I can't let you go unattended. Okay. Fine. Billy agrees, but he's definitely going to like shake him off. Yeah, totally. Okay. So Bulko grabs his sand boating gear, which is like a big heavy scarf that goes around his neck goggles. Because you know how sand boats have like just a slit that you look through.

So he's got his goggles, his hat, his scarf, and he wears a librarian's robe, but the sleeves have been ripped off. Cool. So it's like all jagged on the sides and he's got real huge tanned muscles. Nice. And a tattoo that says books. This guy's fucking rad. This guy's the only nerd that Tuck has ever respected. Yeah. He's a sand boat driver, but he is a librarian. And he's like, all right, let's get out of here. Hop in. I'm already in. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you go. You're so quick.

Oh, that's fine. Let's go. All right. And he hops in, clangs the hat shut. And he kicks his foot out of the sand boat onto the ground and kicks the lever that starts the funicular that can we run up and latch on somehow. Should we run up and latch on or steal a different sand boat? Oh, yeah. I'd be fun to try and talk somebody else into taking us up to the surface. Yeah. So, Billy, you're heading up and he's like, okay, if you don't mind, I might let the sales out a little bit on this one.

What do you say? Like, make it fast. Oh, yeah. Oh, please do. I've been working on a little something. Cool. With what's his boat called? Big Mama. Oh, yeah. I've been working on a little something with Big Mama that I think you're going to like. And yeah, you're heading up and out. Tuck and Ving, you see Bulko's sand boat, Big Mama, heading up and out of the boat launch. What do you do? We run up to the other sand boat guy who's washing down one of his sand boats. Yeah.

He's just hosing it down. He's got one of those sand boats. He's got one of those, like, pump things that, like, before, you know, pressure hoses existed. He just got a big container full of water and a pump and he's just blasting sand off of it. Hey, Nacho Man. Who's this guy? Randy. Randy. Oh, because you're going for it. Yeah. Randy Nacho Man. Savage. Randy Savage. Yeah. Nacho Man. Randy Savage Nacho Man. Yeah. No Nacho Man. Just Randy Savage. Randy Savage. Hello. Hello.

It's me, Randy Savage. What can I do for you today, fine gentleman? This guy's so distinguished. I love it. He's still huge and he has, like, sunglasses that cover his whole face and he's got a big beard and a cowboy hat. What can I do for you this fine evening? Spray, spray, spray. We need to get up to the surface. Post haste. Very well. Hop in. I have no reason to disbelieve you. You're two reasonable adults. Jessica just threw her arms up there. What the fuck? Yeah. I asked the wrong person.

No. Billy is a child. If a truck driver was at a truck stop and some adults were like, hey, we're just hitchhiking. We need to get to the next town. They're more likely to say yes than if a kid runs up and is like, we got to go right now. This is a hate crime. Okay. Yeah. And Randy's like, let's go. Where to? Follow that sand boat, Tuck says. Post haste. Post haste. And Randy hops into. His sand boat kicks the lever and the funicular heads up to the top, the boat launch.

And Billy, you come out of the launch with Bolko and he pilots it out to the edge of Elaine Springs. And he's like, all right, you ready? Absolutely. Okay. Here we go. And he reaches over and pushes like a lever forward and you hear mechanisms above you like in the sail extend outward, like two arms come out to make a really big sail. And then you hear something rumbling inside the boat itself and it's moving under power. Like it's got like a, some sort of weird thing that's pushing it forward.

Whoa. And then he's like, okay, here we go. And it starts picking up speed. And then you feel the desert wind catches extra large sail and it's like hitting fucking hyperdrive. Like you just get thrown backwards. Yeah. Billy's cheeks like flapping the wind and he's gripping on to the front of the seat so hard. And he's like, oh, my God. Fuck yeah. I'm going to get that book so soon. Yeah. Does Billy have little goggles on? Yeah. Tiny goggles. Yeah. And Bogle's like, oh, yeah.

It's a Tim Allen sound. I couldn't remember if there was a sound that Hulk Hogan made. So it was kind of Tim Allen, kind of macho man. And you're fucking ripping ass through the nighttime desert. Tuck and Ving, you come out of the boat launch with Randy. Oh, with that? Yeah. Yeah. It's such a much calmer affair. Yeah. He turns over and he's like, can I interest you in some in-cabin coffee? Lovely. No, just follow that boat, man. Which boat? The one that's fucking getting away.

And you look and you can barely see it on the horizon. And Randy's like, my word. And he it takes a lot longer because he doesn't have a motor in his. So it just like slowly gets he gets out and pushes it into the sands. No, no, no. Fuck. Can you get some fucking? Wind? Yeah. Just a moment. We have to get out into the sands. I don't want to damage cream of the crop while he's behind there pushing it. I want to see if I can get a big Gus and we can leave this guy in the dust. All right.

Dustin Gus. Holy shit. My God. Twelve. All right. What's a twelve on elemental mastery? Get you. I think I only get two from the list below. The effect comes to pass. Avoid paying nature's price. Retain control. So I'll get effect comes to pass and I'll retain control. Okay. So nature's price. We're back, back, back again. What? What is nature's price? I mean, it could always just be damaged. It can just be damaged. It can totally just be like, what's your damage? A D eight. Oh no. It's six.

The elements. It's a D 10. Oh shit. So if you want to roll me a D 10, this is the act of hanging onto the, yeah, you get up on the top, like to be like, fuck this. Two, two. Great. Yeah. So you only take two damage as the, as the, the wind whips so hard that you can feel like it tearing at your skin. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Tuck's cheeks are… As the boat lurches forward, the sail unfurls forcefully, and you hear Randy go, Now hold on. He's gone.

As you whip out of the desert, Tuck, you're driving, apparently. Oh, yeah, and I call off the back, Sorry, we'll bring it back in one piece, we promise. Bye! Yeah, and you carry on. Bing, I assume that you're going to pilot as a former sand sailor? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to make you roll to pilot because you've driven a boat before. And, Billy, you're hanging on to the front of a seat, legs flapping behind like a little flag, and you hear Bulko go, What the hell's that? What? Where?

Some sort of squall kicking up behind us. I'm just going to take a quick look. Can you hold the wheel? Sure. Can you carry me? He grabs you from where you are, flapping on the back of the seat, and just picks you up and puts you on the wheel. Yeah, so I tuck my legs into the wheel, like I'm sitting on a chair swing, and then I hold… I hold the wheel. So I'm just like, here we go. Effectively doing nothing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just using my body weight to…

And he pops the hatch and stands up and squints. He gets a mouthful of sand, and he's like, somebody's following us. Oh. Billy knows immediately. No! Oh, no! Oh, I think it's just my parents. Your parents, the ones that you said were fine with you coming? Yeah, they're totally fine with it. They just like… I probably just like forgot my backpack or something. Should we stop? No. It's not that important. All right, whatever you say, little brother.

And he slams the hatch shut, picks you up off the wheel, and keeps going. And it's going to take you like… What's the ride we usually say? It's like two hours to get kind of around McCall into the library? Yeah, but I guess with his turbo speed, it's probably like 40 minutes. Yeah, you're going to do it in 40 minutes easy. Yeah, he's really proud of that time. Oh, he's like, are you timing it? Yeah. It's going to be so fast. I could even go to the far side of McCall.

I could go to the north side if you want. We don't even… If I get to the north side, it's going to take like 10 extra minutes. That's crazy, right? I mean, whatever is closest to the lighthouse. All right, fine. I'll just take you to the south side, whatever. Thank you. And Balco sits down. In no time flat, you see the city of McCall rising up before you. And he goes, all right, hold on. Okay. And he pulls a bunch of levers, and the boat starts slowing immediately.

And he's basically like e-brake turning it. Everything's shaking. The boat sounds like it's going to rattle apart. Yeah. His monster energy drink falls off the dashboard. And he basically e-brake turns into just a bunch of houses that are built on the very edge of the desert. And he almost hits a pen full of goats. In fact, you hear it tap the latch, and the gate opens, and all the goats get out. Billy is like so bruised, because it's just… He's been like ping-ponging around the hatch.

And he's like, nice. Like he pops out of the hatch. He's like, thanks, Balco. Hey, happy to help little brother. He takes his goggles off. And where he was totally brown from the sand, he's just like nice and pink under the goggles. All right. If you need a ride back, are you good? Wait, no. I said I was going to come with you. I forgot. Fuck. Fuck. We have fairy dust him. That's… Oh, you're going to put him to sleep? Yeah. Because then I know I have a ride back, but he can't follow me.

God, Billy's like off the chain right now. Yeah. This is Billy with no supervision. Oh, man. He's an animal. Okay. So fairy dust is 2d6 plus charisma? Sure. Okay. Balco, can you just like… I think I dropped something under the chair. Can you have a look? Oh, no problem. There's a lot of stuff under this chair, though. It might take me a sec. Okay. And he starts digging around. Seven. Okay. So you get one from the list. The list is… It affects a group of people.

They stay asleep for a good amount of time. You can do it from a distance. I have to get really close. So I'm like… Okay. I'm like leaning over him, like hands on his shoulder, like, oh, it's like really under there. And then I'm going to choose that he falls asleep for a long time. Okay. So as he's like bent over, like shoulder deep under the seat, pulling out like copper book romance novels and like a little… One of those rubber, slappy, sticky hands. He's just like, nope, nope, nope.

And you just, what, blow a bunch of dust in his face? Yeah, basically. I go… In his face. He goes, oh, come on, little brother. Good night. Have a good nap. I'll see you later. Cute. And when he goes… And his handlebar mustache flips out from his face and lands back down. I pull his shawl over him and like tuck him in so he's comfy. Mm-hmm. And I hop out of the boat. All right. And it's dark out. Yeah. It's nighttime. Mm-hmm.

And the moon is obscured by like clouds, so it's not as bright as it usually is. The only real light is the occasional worm glass in the cliffside and the light at the top of the lighthouse of McCall. So yeah, just like tightens up his satchel, his backpack, and off we go. Mm-hmm. Cut back to Tuck and Ving. You are absolutely hauling ass on this sandboat. You can feel the wind, the wind unnaturally, like almost picking the boat up off the ground. We're getting air. Yeah, exactly.

You can feel it. The boat stops vibrating every once in a while, and you're like, that's not a good sign. So you are approaching the city very, very quickly. You see a sandboat parked like, I don't know, half a kilometer off to your left. You realize the wind is pushing you kind of off course. You're going so fast. There's goats everywhere, dodging the goats. Right. There's goats just running, out into the desert right now. Yeah, there's a bunch of goats. Goat, goat, goat.

A bunch of goats making a freedom dash. They're like, finally. We're dashing around the herd. We got to, yeah. I suppose that you said that you retain control. So it's not going to uncontrollably slam you into the side. But I feel like we need to defy danger dexterity to not hit these goats. Yeah, totally. So somebody give me a defy danger dexterity. I'm assuming because you're piloting. Yeah, the boat skills. Come on, save a goat. 11. Oh, geez. Yeah, you step between the goat drops.

You know, you like you're threading the needle so beautifully. Jumping goats. Yeah, a goat like clops up onto the boat and runs down the other side. Well, he's like, heads up. He's talking to the goat. Yeah. And you hear the goat go, freedom. Runs into the desert. And you ask the wind to let up just before you get to the city. The night zephyr carries off into the sky. Cool. And your boat gently comes to a rest. At the edge of the city of McCall. And we tap a pen of chickens.

And all those chickens. Chicken latch opens. The chicken latch opens and the chickens don't move. Like I'm not going anywhere. I love it here. Somebody brings me corn every day. And yeah, you're here. You're at the city of McCall. You see Balco's sandboat. Big Mama parked a little bit further up the outskirts. And Billy must be nearby. And we'll cut to Billy. So Billy, you know, he's trying. To be, I guess, like economical with the exercise. He's going to have to perform.

So he's like the fastest way up is just straight up. So he pulls out his throwing daggers, two of them. And he's scaling the light tower. Oh, you've made it back to. Yeah, you've made it back to the to the sticks. I think that I kind of want Billy to have to roll to get there unseen. You know what I mean? Because like there are a lot of people in this neighborhood. Oh, shit. So defy danger dexterity. Whoa. Nice. Dexterity. I got 10. Okay. Holy shit. Yeah. You are a phantom. I am in thief mode.

Yeah. This is old school. Billy sneaking unseen through the trappings of society. I flip through the shadows and I stick close to the walls. I tiptoe. You sneak right past like jackals just chatting about their day's crimes. They committed. You hear whispers of some sort of terrible fight in Stepside that left a gang. I'm decimated. And you just hear a couple whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears in a dark alleyway. Can we hear some of those sweet nothings?

I just love the way your butt looks so sweet. It's just, you know, like most people like when they when they think about a butt, they think about like sitting and shitting. Not me. I think about your butt and I think, wow, I love it. This kid is 13. Yeah. These are like teenagers. This is not good. And the person was like, wow, you know, I never thought about my own ass like that, but I'm going to from now on. And then you hear they start kissing each other. Oh, fucking gross.

But you can make it to the base of the lighthouse. No problem. Little bit of, you know, flashbacks as you remember what you went through just earlier this day in this neighborhood. Yeah. It was like those stairs, even though I only climbed like 50 feet of them. Oh, but I love Farrah. She's such a good grandma. Do I have to? Yeah, you're going to have to roll unless you can think of another mechanical move you could use to get up there. Yeah.

It's going to be defy danger dexterity and it's going to take a while because remember it took you like a couple hours to walk up and now you're going to climb up the outside. Yeah, that's true. That's okay. Yeah. So it's nine. Okay. The first thing you do is like you scramble up, you know, a bunch of things. You go through the houses and stuff like that and get as high as you can just by climbing on those. So that gets you like 100, 120 feet up. You see Petunia. Yeah.

You see Petunia the rat sitting on a rooftop. Yeah. I did take a pause to like look in the like it's creepy, but like look in the window and like there's Greg. He's like having a nice snooze and Petunia is on the chair curled up. Yeah. Petunia. And you see the roof that you guys helped build. It's holding up. Good. Like for the last six hours. Solid six hours. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Record. And you get up on top of Greg 3G's hut with a nine. You're like, who?

I got some work ahead of me. And you start digging your little daggers into the brickwork and pulling yourself up. Yeah. And I find like little footings. And you start climbing up and we will cut to Tuck and Ving. You enter on the cliff side side of the city. Yeah. We need to be very discreet. This is a conversation that we're having in the chicken coop to be discreet. So we ducked into the chicken coop and Tuck is like, we need to be very discreet. There are people are looking for us now. Who?

What the fuck are you talking about? The Magi? Oh, no. I was Paul asking. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Wait, what? I was really just picturing our feet inside of a nest. We're sitting on either side of this big nest. The chickens in between us. And the chickens are just like. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. What are the chickens saying? What's up? You want to be discreet. What? What? What? What's up?

Hey, ladies. Don't mind us for a moment. Okay. Okay. Mwah. Can you give us a moment, please? Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. And they all kind of go and cluster up on the other side of the fence. And Tuck is. Talk about us. Tuck snaps in front of Ving. And he's like, hey, it's rude. It's rude when you do that when you speak a language I don't know. So sorry. He's just casually talking to these chickens. Okay. Yeah. Well, do you think Billy's going to exercise the same discretion? No, for sure not.

Damn it. You know Billy. Yeah. One time he made a scene at a Charles Eve pageant because he thought the plastic hanging meats were real. And then at another Charles Eve pageant, he tried to fight a guy because he thought he was actually Charles and he was actually trying to break into a house. He was just doing his best. What do we have for costumes? What do we have for darkness? Oh, man. I have the axe with me. So I'm very noticeable right now. I mean, you can always hide the axe.

I'm not leaving this thing behind. Not again. Well, that's your fault. There's like a farmer's tool shed next to you. Could have some stuff in there. Maybe Randy had some stuff in his sand boat cream of the crop. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work.

There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. You're going to have to roll something to break the lock. Yeah, I'm just going to roll strike.

Okay, two to six plus strike six plus three is nine. Yeah, and I just lift the shed up the things that are in it. And as you toss the shed to the side, it shatters completely. You're not going to be able to put it back. Sorry. So now there's just a bunch of Texas. Sorry to the chickens. Sorry. They all go and they're flapping day. Actually, yeah, the chickens are making a ton of noise in your what's going on out there. Cluck, clack, casually get away from my chicken.

And you hear like a ding and you see a worm light start glowing in the house next to you. And you hear a rumbling as somebody starts coming out. You got to move fast. Are there clothes? Yeah, there's just a bunch of stuff. There's a scarecrow. Vink grabs his clothes off the scarecrow. All right. But he forgot to take the stick out. So his arms are at the side. Tuck grabs. No time to think. Oh, okay. It comes to your head. Tuck grabs a bag of bird seed. All right. That's what you get.

And puts the axe inside of it. I guess. I guess so. And the door to the house bangs open and there's a farmer standing there with a pitchfork. Get away from my chickens. Tuck grabs a pitchfork too. And he's like, they're my chickens. Are you trying to scare this guy away? Yeah. He's like, what's your name? Money. What's your name? My name's Bill. Get away from my chickens. And then Tuck goes, my name's Bill. Get away from my chickens. This is so confusing for Bill in the middle of the night.

Please roll something. 2D6 plus charisma, I guess. Vink is staying as still as possible, but this is insane to witness. Ten. He just stares at you for a second. Your name's Bill? Yeah. Where, what was your mom's name? My mom's name was Mill. My mom's name was Mill. Bill. And he holds his hand up like he's trying to see if you're a reflection. And then Tuck does the same thing. And he moves it in a circle. And Tuck. Tuck does the same thing, but there's an obvious leg. And he touches his face.

Tuck touches his face. And he just closes his door. And goes back inside. And then Tuck mime closes the door. There's no shed door. Yeah, Tuck picks the shed door up off the ground and then closes it. And you can hear, you can't see, but you can distinctly hear Bill heavily. Sitting down at his kitchen table, head in his hands. Just thinking so hard about what he saw, but you're good for now. There might be some ramifications here. I feel like every time I interact with a farmer, I…

Ruin their life? Yeah, ruin their life. Yeah. All right. So you have, Ving has a disguise. He looks like a scarecrow. What does a McCollin scarecrow look like? You know, there's a hay coming out the sleeves. Uh-huh. Dressed like librarians. Librarians. Okay. Old discarded librarian robes. That's pretty much it. Yeah. So you just got an outfit full of hay. Yeah. And a floppy hat of some kind. Yeah. Beautiful. Tuck, you just have a bag of bird seed with an ax in it. Yeah.

And he throws another bag of bird seed on his back. And he puts like an old disheveled hat on to try and like hide his face. Okay. And he hunches down so he doesn't, so he looks like a hunched farmer. Great. He makes the bird seed. His bulk of his body looks like… He just bags a bird seed. Yeah. Nice. Wonderful. And he keeps the pitchfork. All right. And you head off into the city. Yeah. Shambling. Cut back to Billy. Billy, you've begun scaling the side of the lighthouse.

I feel like, well, I know I'm ahead of them by quite a bit. Yeah. So I'd say you're like a third of the way up. That's it? It's going to take you a long time. He was able to climb a third of the way basically on the houses. True. So your stairs were spiraling. So that takes up more than going straight up. All right. All right. You're two thirds of the way up. Yeah. The lighthouse. I'm much more than two thirds of the way up. No. You're two thirds of the way up.

Billy is telling himself, I am much more than two thirds of the way up. Billy can manipulate physical space. Come on. You got a seven to nine. I would like to point out. Well, he is dripping sweat, but he's just gritting through and telling himself little stories so he doesn't get too scared. And Billy, you're like just before what looks like it used to be a window before it was sealed up. So it like sticks out a little bit.

You could rest on it and you hear a behind you and you see a chunky little bug flying right behind you. And then you see a couple more. And now there's this little swarm of chunky little bugs buzzing around you. What are they? They look like something that you might want to Spout Lore for. Okay. I will Spout Lore. But they definitely look like a bee of some kind. Ooh. Ooh. Nice. Holy shit. Cool. So nine. Great. Okay. Can we aid? No. Absolutely not.

You don't know much about them, Billy, but you do recognize these as what you've heard an entomologist in the library describe as McCollin stonecutter bees. They're very like they have gray chunky chitinous shells. They look geometric almost like they look like cut stone and they have big, huge chomping mandibles and they're flying very close to you. They're very curious as to what you are. Um, is this your house? Am I in the way? Billy kind of like moves aside a bit.

It moves a little bit closer and you can see its mandibles start like chomping. You get the idea that you might be close to their hive. Do you want to Billy's like motioning? Like do you want to chop through the window that could help me? And he's like pointing himself and Billy like there's, I don't know, just like some sand and gravel. Kind of like on the ledge. So he like picks it up and he's like holds it out like a little offering. Like yeah. All right. Can we be friends now?

Two D six plus charisma. Okay. Oh, wow. Got 13. Holy shit. Okay. Um, yeah, there's like a good number of these bees now. There's maybe like a couple dozen in this swarm and a few of them move forward and land in your hand and start. You can see their huge mandibles, which are like, you know, a third again, as big as their body. They come into the sand and rock. So I like move them against like, I guess the plastered over window. Like do you want to eat that?

And they land on the window sill next to you and start chomping at the sand. And then they start crawling all over the side of the lighthouse and you can hear like as they start chewing through the stone. Yeah. Chew it. You can do it. Like, I don't know. Billy. Like.

The copper pin of his hair and he starts like digging through it like I will help yeah chew it you can do it and um they chew like since there's a good number of them and they chew a lot faster than you would expect so they start digging through the stone pretty fast the copper pin wasn't doing anything so I like used my knives instead I'm like chew it and I start acting like I'm a little stone cutter bee by like making little mandibles with your knives yeah like yeah stone cutter billy chomp chomp chomp saying buzz a lot yeah that's amazing and as you uh follow them into this like roughly billy sized hole that they're making it takes a little bit of going you can tell that there's something that you didn't remember about stone cutter bees because all the bees are moving around you in this hole and they're filling in behind you like they're filling in the stone behind you with like very um intricate looking hive structure okay so I grab my bag from the sill yeah I don't want to leave anything behind yep and they slowly seal you in as you start to like move through the wall of this lighthouse oh and we'll cut back to tuck and being real quick what are you doing we're we're how far are we away from the lighthouse are we um maybe a 20 30 minute walk um but you're gonna have to roll something to get through the neighborhood unseen wait we don't really know where billy is going what do you think tuck and think billy is doing going to get the book yeah and where do you think the book is he we know he left it at the top of the light yes yeah at least your first instinct would be well we should go there first yeah totally thanks for talking me through that stranger you know what happy to help my name I you know I just like to go around and help people talk through things in the middle of the night it's like a spiritual undertaking I've accepted what's your name uh it's in fornish booth if you uh if you have anybody else that needs some help you just point them towards info booth and I'll help them out have a great night folks and he trundles off down the street that guy's gonna be really handy later on too I can't wait to ask him a bunch of specific questions about where our enemies are and stuff if you can find me and he starts sprinting down the street away from you a huge star above him it's bobbling he's got a map on his back yeah it says you are here and the dot always moves to where you are in the city man that guy's vibe is very much that he's on halfling white he's definitely a burner and you make it to the base of the lighthouse of course that's where billy would go and you see the uh well I'm glad it seems obvious to you sean maybe it's just because I'm omniscient I know where everybody is in the city um but yeah you get to like the uh the borderline fungal construction of the sticks and you see the lighthouse immense above you and a lot of little knife marks if you were to get really close you'd be able to see the lighthouse and you'd be able to see the lighthouse and you'd be able to see the uh if you were to go to do you think you'd go to greg's starting point shack I don't know we're in a bit of a hurry yeah can I use the axe to kind of just like smash through the side of the lighthouse just on the street full view everybody maybe is greg's up against the lighthouse isn't he it is yeah yeah maybe we'll do it at greg's house so that there is some cover so you're gonna go to this old man's house yeah and you're gonna wake him up it's like two or three in the morning and you're gonna say hey would you mind if I cut a hole into an ancient and unknowable giant construction yeah but we're gonna pitch it to him like he's on uh that house flipping show yes all right we're gonna expand this house so you go to greg's place and you knock on the door greg he wakes up his he comes to the door his eyes are closed hello greg it's tuck from earlier when your house got destroyed we're here to do it again martha you're back he's sleeping sleepwalking I'm so glad that we were able to go to the seaside for our anniversary come here and he starts moving towards you with his hands out in a kissy face yeah tuck plays into it what yeah and don't wake him up he gives you a little kiss right in the middle of your chest because you're so much taller than him uh but tuck holds his hand up and he makes it into a face and gives it lips he kisses your hand and he goes it it's great to see you too greg and as this is playing out in ving you hear why hello there hey toontown how you doing girl two times in one day could I be so lucky I'm the lucky one and you know it girl what can I help you with tonight sugar you know our sweet little boy yeah he's up on the lighthouse oh I know oh what you saw him I saw him earlier this morning not aren't you perceptive and beautiful well he he looked me right in my eyes and said hello oh man those beautiful beady little red eyes oh ving you china you and if you look over to the corner of the room tuck you hear as a rat is going you know like a wave a wave a southern bell hand gesture and if you cut back to tuck for a second he doesn't notice that because his arm is now his arm is now spooning with Greg in the bed.

Hurry the fuck up. They're whispering sweet nothings to each other. And his hand is going, your butt is great. Usually when I think of a butt, I think of pooping. But your butt is so the opposite of that. And I love it. Greg. And he's dead asleep. He's got a big smile on his face. He's so happy. Tuck continues. Okay. And Petunia is like, are you going to go get your boy? Well, yeah. You have the run of the house into all the nooks and crannies.

What part of the house butts up against the lighthouse? We're thinking about maybe cutting a little hole in there to get up the lighthouse faster. Well, if you look around, you'll see that it's more of a one room shack kind of situation. And one of the walls is very clearly the brickwork of the lighthouse. Oh, okay. Thank you very much, Petunia. Of course. You're not going to leave that hole. You're not going to be able to yawn and open to scare old Toontown, will you?

No, we'll close it up, of course. Okay. Wouldn't want to scare you. Hmm. Well, have fun. Thank you. Tuck, are you done? You're about done? Yeah, I'm done. I cannot wait until we awake on the seaside together. Good night, Greg. All right, I'm ready. You slip the arm out of Greg's hands. I like the idea, like Indiana Jones style, you switch it with a bag of bird seeds. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And draw like lipstick and eyelashes on the bag. All right.

Defy danger dexterity because that's really funny. Holy shit. As always, whenever it's going to be the funniest to succeed, you always succeed. Yeah, you slip the bag of bird seed in there and he throws his knee up over it and he holds it close. Okay, cool. I'll start cutting into this. Whoa. Quietly. Yeah. It's just going to take you longer if you do it quietly. It's not going to be hard because your axe does destroy stone. Yeah.

So Tuck takes his axe and he kind of like, he starts shaving pieces off the wall. Nice. Yeah. Cool. And the axe cuts it like butter basically. It's coming off in sheets which is really weird to see stone do. Yeah. Curls. Yeah. And we cut back to Billy. Billy, you're working through the darkness of this stone cutter beehive. Yeah. I've created a little will-o'-the-wisp. Nice. So it's like, I've got a little ball hovering in front of me. Mm-hmm. Do I discern realities to like know where I am?

No, you're going to pop out eventually. Okay. I'd say that you, being a little chaotic kid, you don't know how much time has passed because you don't really care about the passage of time very much. But eventually, as you're digging through with all your new stone cutter friends, you feel fresh air. Well, quote unquote, fresh air. Uh-huh. And you pop out. You feel the cavernous opening of the lighthouse in front of you and you are above the staircase.

Like maybe, five to eight feet like above it. So it's going to be a little bit of a drop, but you're right above the staircase. Uh, all right. And do you just climb down? Yeah. Yeah. For some reason, I just pictured like a cartoon of Billy falling forward covered in honey and just like, squeak. Yeah, I basically like belly flop. Hope for the best. Oh, that's probably what stone cutter bee honey is like. It's like mortar. Oh, so cool. Cool.

And then like, as it dries, you have to like, brush it off. Yeah. It's like sandy. But your skin's so smooth. Yeah. Because it takes all the old skin with it. It's probably so good for exfoliating. Oh my God, they have it in spas. Um, so yeah, you climb down, no problem, um, with your little daggers, tink, tink, tink.

And, um, the stone cutter bees start filling in that section and like, they were basically just filling like tubes on tubes on tubes behind you and then you see the beautiful construction of their rock hard hive structure like, starts spreading out along the walls too and then they just stop and you hear like, quiet little inside the tunnels. I see by them. Whoa. And, uh, yeah, you're in the lighthouse itself. It's very eerie in here.

You've got the light from your little will-o'-the-wisp and you remember that on your way up the first time, you didn't really have much to do with it. You didn't take in too much of the lighthouse. So now you've got a bit of a climb ahead of you but now it's safer but also, who knows what's in here. Alright, so I tuck my daggers back into my pockets and hoof on my backpack and I'm pretty scared so I turn the will-o'-the-wisp into a little wicker.

I'm like, okay, now I feel like I'm not quite so alone. Yeah, totally. So up we go. Okay. I'm going to be as stealthy as possible. Yeah, climbing up these stairs is a laborious process for Billy but, um, as you start hustling up this staircase you are struck, by, the mystery in openings that are off the staircase like other chambers that obviously go to different parts of this lighthouse. Yeah.

And, the designs carved into the walls that you didn't really notice before, like there's just a very alien, monumental, ancient feeling to this lighthouse that is somewhat, it's strange but it's somewhat comforting to Billy in its age. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I feel like I relate to it. Does Billy have any interest in, um, exploring the lighthouse at all or are you just going straight to the top? I'm pretty fixated on this book. Yeah, totally. Yeah.

Uh, okay, so you climb up the lighthouse hand over hand, foot over foot, belly over belly as you flop up the staircase with your wick or the wisp behind you. As you get to the top of the lighthouse you see that opening you feel a disturbance in the air very similar to the disturbance that you felt when you were fighting Roth and the Medjay earlier. There's some sort of interference, right? Yeah, so I extinguished the willow, the wisp. Um, this might take a roll to get close.

I'm going to trap expert. Oof. That's a nine plus two is 11. Fuck. So you get three questions off trap expert. Okay. Is there a trap here? Yes, there is. Okay. And if so, what activates it? Um, what active, what would activate it is probably just getting too close. You feel just based on your experience now being around Medjay, you could tell if you really, really focused kind of where Roth is. He's at the top of the lighthouse on the skirt that surrounds the very top like the light chamber.

Okay. But he's not moving right now. Is Billy sensing this through the fate realm? Yeah, kind of like it's it's something that not everybody would be aware of. Tuck actually with Roth Tuck might be aware of this feeling if he was really close. But it's just like a turbulence. Oh, because I'm connected to the X. No, just because of the degree to which they're creating a turbulence like in reality. So it just affects regular people too. Yes. Yeah. But mastering of the elements.

I think especially when like when Billy was in like Lillian's tower, I think it's kind of similar to that feeling. Yeah, exactly. It feels very similar to the energy you felt in Lillian's tomb. Hmm. So what does the trap do when activated? What the trap would do is if you get too close, um, Roth will probably be able to sense that you're there and then he will attack. What else is hidden here?

So now that you've gotten to sort of the top of the stairs and you're peeking out onto the, uh, the platform, you can see Roth sitting at the very edge overlooking the city facing the salt flats. He's sitting cross-legged on the ground. He has his hands on his knees and he's completely immobile. But you can see next to him is the book. I'm going to try something. Mm-hmm. So I'm going to use a fairy child to switch objects within view. Ah, yeah. Yeah. Sweet.

And I don't have to roll for that, right? Like, I just use one of my moves. It'll be my last move. Oh, it'll be your last fairy child? Yeah. Then, yeah, you would just spend it. All right. I'm all out. So I, um, what do I have that I'm not too worried about leaving behind? Oh, I have some, like, fucking gross sweaty raisins still. The last of my raisins. The last of my raisins. Is there anything that's maybe a little more important to Billy that would be, like, a sacrifice to leave behind?

Is there anything that's more nutritionally dense that you can maybe leave? Uh, uh, I'll leave my copper pin. Oh. Oh, shit. That's actually, yeah, pretty big. That's pretty cool. Mm-hmm. Okay, so I take it out of my hair. I'm like, fuck. Shit. Billy says, losing a pin that he really likes. The audience realizing that the menders will no longer be able to use it to track Billy. Yeah. So Billy is super sad about this, but, yeah.

And, yeah, you hold your hand out with the copper pin in it and you feel that fairy energy start to tingle through you. Mm-hmm. And, boop, then the book's in your hand and the copper pin is set. I look at this book, I'm like, I hate you. I put it in my backpack. And, as you're, as you're getting ready to turn and head back down the stairs, you feel that spiritual turbulence pitch. I stay really still. And Roth starts to turn. I duck out. We cut back to Ving and Tuck. Oh, God.

Tuck, you've made it through the side of the lighthouse. Lathing it away, there's a weirdly goopy pile of stone behind you. Mm-hmm. And you feel, yeah, the stale air of the lighthouse rush as you cut through into the structure itself. Ving can sense that the Roth is up there, right? Totally. Maybe not quite from this distance, but still, you enter the lighthouse and it's, the vibes are bad in here. Yeah. You know? Like, it's not specifically Roth is upstairs and he's angry.

It's, something is wrong. Should we run up the stairs? Yeah, the stairs are here. Is there any faster way? Yeah, you can light as a feather. Tuck, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go up. Yeah, you go ahead. I'll, I'll fucking try and bust it, okay? I'll try and do the stairs as fast as I can. I'm so sorry. No, it's fine. I'm in a bulk phase. This is gonna be extra hard for Tuck because my thighs have been rubbing together so much because I'm in that kind of a bulk phase.

It's gonna be really chafed when you get to the top. I'm bulking my thighs. Well, it's good for stairs. All right, light as a feather. Light as a feather. So, it's been a while. I want to read that one real quick. When you run across a surface that cannot hold your weight, roll plus desk, dex. On 10 plus, you do it, no problem. Seven to nine, something goes wrong. Okay.

So, it looks like he's, yeah, just kind of like jaunting above the stairs around them and jumping from side to side little ledges. So, that is a seven. Okay. So, you start scaling the wall like just your fingers finding the tiniest little in-between things sections of brick climbing up. Yeah, maybe that was an old stonecutter bee hive, you know, like you're just scaling like a spider up the side of this wall.

And as you get to the next level of the stairs and start scaling that wall, you see, hear, and feel a huge bright gout of flame punch out over the stairs at the very top that Billy, you just dodged. Roth has seen you and he turned around and immediately just punched forward and fired a huge big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, Oh my God. Whoa. Holy shit. And yeah, Billy, I assume. Are you trying to run down back down the stairs?

Yeah, I'm actually sliding down the rail. Okay. 2d6 plus dexterity. Nice. Oh, 13. Holy shit. Okay. Billy Bart Simpsons down the rail of the staircase and Bing, you see this flame and you hear, I assume Billy makes a noise. Yeah.

I'm like, well, I scream and then a big thunk as I jump down and then I'm like, oh oh whoa slide down yeah and uh ving you're climbing up tuck you see this flame too as you start hustling up the stairs and you get the distinct idea that that is definitely billy oh no and tuck yells up billy get out of here I'm coming and ving you're climbing the wall and billy as you're sliding down the rail you see ving climbing up one side of the wall and you're about to like meet basically at the same section of the staircase but ving looking over your shoulder as you're climbing you see roth like running down the staircase keep going billy yeah follow me I kind of want to act as like a bit of a barrier like I'll start coming down but I need to put some buddy between billy and roth okay yeah totally billy whizzes past you on the railing and you see roth arcing around the spiral of the stairs approaching you what do you do I'm gonna fight with honor and gonna get gain some chi hopefully ten okay so that is a bunch of chi and he's yeah he's coming down the stairs at you and he yells some stupid villain bullshit what does he yell uh he sees you and says uh now will be the end of this I'm drawing an absolute so is roth he's not good at this so angry he's had such a shitty fucking day for a morally gray villain he's like you will stand in the way of my ambitions no longer what lame and he's doing that you know he's running forward and he's punching and like little chunks of the elements are coming out like fire rock a puff of air kind of stuff um I want to lay I have still have a jar of that worm cum the blue light maybe it's it's glowing what's I would like to hear your plan with the worm cum please uh he's running down the stairs uh-huh I'm gonna take I'm gonna take it and put it on a whole bunch of the stairs I'll uh home alone and uh covered up with a quick light dusting of um of dust of dirt sand so that he is not glowing and hopes just to trip him up a little bit to lay a little trap for him okay uh defy danger dexterity I guess to do it fast yeah watch this he's laid so many worm cum traps in his life as a kid he used to do it all the time in the forest nice eleven oh my god so you just like pull out the jar throw it on the ground kick some dirt this gooey pile yeah you kick some dirt or like elementally move some dust onto the pile oh cool yeah and uh he's running down at you this is definitely here he hasn't seen it he might slip I'm going I'm going down oh you're just running okay I hop on the rail like billy yeah go for it divide danger dexterity light as a feather surfing down ten okay great so you uh throw this goo on the ground cover it in dust hop on the railing start surfing down and tuck wants to uh do what are you waiting for to try and distract roth so that he doesn't pay as much attention to billy and ving and like looks down is like what's that happening down there over there who's that big boy with a with a big bag of bird seeds yeah you brought the bird seed with you well I had two bags so I still had one okay is that is he carrying greg's wife so the answer is yes you did bring a bag of bird seed I did I ran back into greg's house and I grabbed the wife bag and I ran back out and my what are you waiting for is that I'm gonna throw this uh like sex doll at it's not roth to try and hit him to make him mad nothing establishes that this is a sex doll it just was all right uh yeah what are you waiting for so what's what's how do you roll that again when you cry out a challenge to your enemies roll plus con on a ten plus they treat you as the most obvious threat to be dealt with and ignore your companions so twelve okay so roth is running down the stairs and what do you do you yell something yeah I go hey roth I found your girlfriend and I throw the bag of bird seed up at him and despite the fact that you're like still pretty far below him tuck is so strong that it just hits the side of it hits the wall next to roth like a fucking boulder and it explodes in his face and he looks down at you and he goes I will kill all of you and he steps forward and steps in the worm slips his feet out from under him slams his ass on the stairs and talk yeah you keep hustling up the staircase and just as you get some momentum going billion ving rip past you on the banister going the other way I took I wants to slide down the banister too because he feels left out now okay it's banister time but he's doing it you know the lame way where you're going but first yeah oh like a lady yeah if I danger dexterity seven okay um so you see billy and ving race past you billy's uh riding on his butt ving is surfing it like disney's tarzan as we've established and you are like I'm doing it too and you throw your leg over the banister hold on with your hands in front of you and start squeak squeak yeah because he doesn't have pants so it's just squeaking against his the inside of his thighs which are already rubbed pretty raw yeah and you see above you the worm goo glow shifting as roth gets to his feet and starts charging down the staircase is the banister faster than me running down you probably not okay I get off the bed and I start running and yeah as you're running down the staircase billy and ving you hear the like thud thud thud as tuck is charging guys we're not on the banister anymore we're running down the stairs this is the game that we're all playing not the banister game stairs run so you run down to the bottom you're running down to the bottom of the lighthouse you pass right by the hole in the lighthouse that leads to greg's house and roth is sailing down the stairs behind you and a few days later a woman runs up to a woman runs up to a woman runs up to a woman runs up to a woman runs up to a woman runs up to a woman runs up to a woman runs up to a woman runs up to a woman runs Yeah, kind of.

He's basically coming down on a cushion of air, and you get to the huge central base of the lighthouse, and you all get to the bottom of the staircase and prepare for Roth's arrival. And up and in front of you, like on the spiral of the staircase that comes down to the base, he sees you at the very base of the lighthouse and kicks off the wall directly across from you and sails through the air and lands with a huge crash right in front of you as the brickwork waves out from him.

And he stands up to his full, not that impressive height, two-thirds of this group are much taller than Roth. And he looks you tuck in the eyes, and he says, this ends now. And his voice reverberates through the lighthouse. That was a better one, honestly, than the last two you tried. Pretty cool. Yeah, that one was good. And that's where we're going to end. Ended for this week. Tucked shit talking a villain.

I've been your Game Master, Sean O'Hara, joining me playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care, everyone. Playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye. Thank you to Erin Reid for our intro and outro music, as always. Thank you to our Patreon supporters around the world. If you would like to support the show, join us at patreon.com slash spoutlord or spoutlord.com slash money, please.

We have been doing some more streaming lately. We got a monthly. We got a Q&A. And we're very soon going to start, or maybe we've already started by the time this comes out. Every alternating month, we're doing live improvised episodes of Lone Tree Hill using Bully Pulpit Games' fiasco. First one was a lot of fun. Second one, fingers crossed, has been a lot of fun. And you can get access to that and more on patreon.com slash spoutlord. Maybe drop us a review on iTunes if you want to.

We'd really love it and appreciate it. Have a great night. Bye. Bye. Keep saying have a great night. Have a great whatever. See ya. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3 Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you alone We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly spout more

If you like what you're listening to, then you're going to love patron.com slash Spout Lore, where you can be part of our, you want to say Patriot of the right words. You said patron.com patron Don come patron to doubt. Come if you want to support us in our stonk pursuits. So sorry. Let me tell you a tale of three heroes. A brood, a druid, and a thief. Who is, but not his own. You know them by name. You know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brood. He knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health. He shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy the thief, his tiny size does mask the largest part. This is the guy who sings the Grinch song. This is the guy who sings the Grinch song. That guy wants to fuck the Grinch. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara and joining me as always playing being the half elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello there. Playing Tacoma dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello everybody. And playing fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica tie. Hello everyone. When last we left our heroes, they were entering a yawning portal in the side of the cliff face below cliffside and above the lower ward. Um, entering into a dark and twisting tunnel. Billy recognized and avoided some traps.

There were some, uh, ancient etchings found in the, the tunnel itself before the party came upon the unconscious form of their friend and former wizard Perel upon seeing this figure tuck barreled headfirst into the room. He's all hard. He's not, he's, and he's dumber than he's ever been. Mechanically dumb as shit. Billy and Ving also rushed in because what they're just going to let talk Russian. No way. And, uh, it turned out to be a trap.

The gate swung closed behind them and they were accosted by Roth of the Medjay and two nameless Medjay mooks. A battle was undertaken and not one per se, but survived that lost either escaped. And, uh, Roth was put to sleep by Barry, Billy, Billy's fairy dust, uh, by Barry's Philly dust, Philly cheesesteak dust. Uh, yeah. One of our sponsors is Barry's Philly's cheesesteak dust. Now, uh, we're going to do an ad read for him. Jessica, take it away.

Hi, this is Barry from Barry's Philly cheesesteak dust. Uh, come on down for some discount dust where we get harvested from the finest of the Philly cheesesteaks. Homegrown here in Philadelphia, Philadelphia city. See you down at here. He's, his accent is changing. And part of the stipulation of Barry's Philly cheese dust ad was, I want Jessica to pretend to be me. I don't want you to read the ad as yourselves. He sent us a recording of himself reading it.

And then we were like, we just play the recording that you sent. And he's like, no, make Jessica pretend to be me. I, my voice is so upsetting that I can't sell my own product. I need someone with a nicer voice to do it. Put to sleep by Billy, Billy's a fairy dust. Roth was left at the bottom of the staircase, which led to the very tippy top of the monumental lighthouse of McCall. Uh, and our party ascended those stairs over the course of several hours.

The unconscious form of one of the Medjay hanging from the end of, uh, Vings harpoon. Wait, you're carrying him by the harpoon. Uh, yeah. I mean, I was supporting his bottom at the same time. And once they reached the top, they gazed out upon the city of McCall, the city of McCall itself. And in the distance through his bill, noculars, Billy spotted on the ocean blue, the clear water, former HQ of Maggie Cole, AKA muckraker in mudlark, the ship rebuilt and approaching the shores of McCall.

Holy shit. She's like a week out. We decided. Yeah. I mean, who knows? We should really try it and remember this time to just throw that pin away. Yeah. Great idea. This is the perfect opportunity, but we'll promise to do it. Later. Yeah. Billy's like, I will certainly throw it away. There's no way he's throwing it away. He's so attached to it. Yeah. It opens doors like a motherfucker. Yeah. It's been forever. He stuffs it like further into his like little, like hair fro situation.

And that is where we find our heroes. Now on the very top of the lighthouse of McCall with an unconscious Medjay, who is slowly becoming conscious, groaning in pain and confusion. I've pulled out the harpoon. And I've, uh, started patching him up and I give him a little sip of, uh, wine, nursing it back to health. They cough up the wine. That's it. Yes. Get it up. Their eyes flutter. Oh, and they start struggling. Hold them down. What's your name? I don't have to tell you my name.

Blasphemers, agents of chaos, villains have at the, he's, maybe I just lean them up and show them. Oh, how high off the ground is. Yeah. Tuck. He takes a Vings cue and he like just picks, uh, the guy up and put, put hangs him out over the edge of the, uh, the edge of the balcony of the lighthouse. All right. Two D six plus strength. Uh, 10. Okay. Uh, he's like, have at the villains. I will. And you hold them out over the edge of the lighthouse, a kilometer above cliff side.

And he goes, I will tell you, whatever you want to know, he drops this stick. Just please don't drop it, please. And then tuck like, cause he's holding him by the scruff of the neck where there is a hood. He like, let's go for a second. And he tenses up his whole body. Yeah. And it looks like a little bit of moisture drops off the bottom of his shoes. And like something turd shaped and colored comes out of tux pants and splatters on his fucking legs. Yeah. Now tux covered in poop.

How do you like it? He didn't poop. The amount of characters that you've been making shit lately. I had to stop you. That's true. What do you, what do you want? What do you want from me? We'd want answers. Of course. Yeah. Why did you trap us? Why did you take Perel? And why did you beat him up? Why did you trick me? What do you mean? What do you mean? You took away my powers. I feel like there's something else going on here. Yeah.

We, uh, Roth, when you came to the city, uh, you know, that kind of, that kind of energy coming into a place that there's ripples in the spirit world. We, we felt that Roth felt that that's too much power for one person to have. Yeah. But I thought we had an, I thought we like, we're working towards a mutual goal, but what you did was too much. Can you tell me a little bit about what happened at the ritual? Cause I am, I am this, this guy knows cause Sean does need this context. Yeah.

Just that he was, he had an idea that he wanted to, uh, he knew he had to sacrifice something to gain his element or mastery. And he was, I can't say it. I did that. You can't make fun of people with speech impediments. That's a good point. Uh, no, I shouldn't make fun of people with speech impediments. That's a good point. Um, you guys, there's a lot I didn't tell you about that ritual and there's a lot of leading up to it that I, I never talked about. Well, yeah.

I mean, it seemed like you were pretty fucked up after it. It, we didn't feel like it was our place to make you talk about it. I thank you for giving my space. I know the, I come to things as they come to me. I had a, I had a, I had a, uh, I had a master, a sensei. I met him on the streets of, uh, McCall when I was doing outreach and my tread step into, uh, stop him from being hurt. And, uh, he, um, surprised me and the light guard that was trying to shuffle him along.

And he laid him out in a, uh, in a way and using, um, a fighting style that I've never seen. It was such strength and assuredness that it seemed effortless and outside of him and eternal his strength. So we struck up a relationship based on that. And he helped me with my chi became my master, I guess. And I went to him every day and trained with him for a long time. Um, yeah, over time we learned that we had a lot more in common than I initially thought. And he told me that he was once a Druid.

Whoa. And that he knew the pain of calling upon the spirits to do your bidding. He had experienced the same shame and guilt about exploiting the spirits for his own means. And he told me there was a way, a way to be, powerful and to be in tune with the more elemental spirits of the earth. And so he told me the only way to do this was to make a sacrifice. So I followed him to the cliff side one night and he picked up a portion of the cliff. He raised it out of the ground with no effort.

Uh, below it. It was a stairwell. We went in. It was dark. He was in front of me. I was calling his name. I could hear him whispering, follow him, follow me, deeper, darker. I couldn't see anything and I could smell it. That burning sage smell, I could smell it everywhere. It was filling my nose. I thought it was burning sage. I got down. There was singing, drones, a droning chant. When I got into what I felt like was a chamber, I lit my chest up.

It was a small chamber, barely big enough for the four people that were in there. Hooded cloaks, much like those guys down there, covered in tattoos. In their hands were brass bowls and they were all holding one of those pestles that we saw at the entrance. Each of them went different. They were putting what I thought was sage in the bowls. They started grinding up the bowls. The bowls started singing. With their chanting combined, the resonating kept getting louder and louder.

I started losing lucidity. I was seeing different spirits. I was hearing different spirits coming and going. In the middle of the room was a slab of rock. It looked like it had been worn from the amount of bodies that had laid upon it. It was eroded out in the shape of a man. The images are spotty, back and forth, in and out. I don't know how I got down on the slab, but I was. They're ringing the bowls and they're singing the songs. There's a woman. There's a woman.

They were using it as a means to force their way in and out of the spiritual world. And I was shape-shifting uncontrollably. First it was a dog, then a bird, and every animal form I took on the slab, one of them would stab me. They would stab the animal with this horrible knife, this awful knife. And with every different animal that they stabbed, I felt that that animal was leaving and never coming back. It felt worse than pain, deeper than pain. And the room was filling with smoke.

The sound was filling my head. It was filling my whole body. My chest was vibrating. At one moment I was in the interface. My hands, my feet, my head was ringing with the sound of this vibration. It seemed like the rock broke apart. It was all around me. There was faces flying in and out of my mind's eye. Face after face of all the animals as they left me. Angrily. And then I woke up. Downtown. McCall. Asleep on the street. Light guard kicked me awake. Told me to move along.

And that's when I came home. And then I slept for a week. And… It took a long time to… To feel okay at all. But… I fell back into my training. I knew that I had made the sacrifice that I set out to make. Even though it wasn't the way I wanted to make it. And I have not seen my sensei since that day. Nor have I shapeshifted. Billy and Perala. They're listening and just speechless. That's fucked up, man. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I didn't know how to. That's okay.

I'm really sorry. I still don't know how to talk about it. I understand. It's okay. Yeah. I'm sorry. You don't have to apologize. I'm so sorry. He's just kind of saying it out over the horizon. I'm so sorry. It's not your fault, thing. The Magi says… That sounds really hard for you. As he struggles against… Being held a kilometer above the city of McCall. 25 minutes. Anyways. What's your name, you piece of shit? Huh? Yeah, look at this guy. That's going to draw a cock on his forehead.

Should we just kill this guy just for that? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We could. Unless you want to talk to us. I'd be more than happy to. I wasn't even there. I literally have no reason to keep you alive right now. I know things. There's so much I know. Hmm. Okay, well, you better start talking right now. Or you're going to kill me. Yeah. Are you actually going to kill me? You know what? At this point, after that fucking story, I want to kill you. So… Okay, I'll tell you what I know.

Start at the beginning. Of what? Of your life. Ask me what you… Ask me what you want to know and I'll tell you. All right. I'll tell you what I know. I do know things, but you have to understand. I'm an acolyte. I've only been with the Magi for like a year and a half. Where's the man that led me into the tomb? I… I… Like I said, I wasn't there. I don't know what you're talking about. Well, tell us why they did that to Ving. That's a fucked up thing that just happened to him. Yeah, it's…

It's… You have to understand. When I joined, they had a very compelling point. Over the last couple years, things have been changing in the world. You know, demon possession was at an all-time low. But unexplained deaths were at an all-time high. The turmoil in the spirit world was destroying life. And we were getting news reports from all over about impossible things happening. I was afraid. I wanted to make a difference. Things like what? Things like living storms. Wiping cities off the map.

Things like creatures that hadn't been seen in millennia. Just out in the wild. It's scary. You know. You've heard stories. I'm sure you've seen things. Honestly, we live a pretty low-key life. So… We haven't really seen or heard anything that you're talking about. I'm wondering how you expect me to believe that. You know what? I wouldn't concern yourself with the things we may or may not have seen. Tell us more about your side of things. Okay.

Well, I joined the Medjay because they told me when they found me that they were looking to balance things back out in the world to make things safe for people again. On a broad scale, on a spiritual scale, that sounded like something I wanted to do. That, and he pointed, doesn't sound like something that I would want to do. But, you know, they made a compelling point.

There are individuals throughout history who have had untold powers that have made life nothing but difficult for the people that don't. And they wanted to stop that from happening. And then you came to town, this so-called spirit walker, that they'd been hearing whispers of in the spirit world for months. And they took that as providence, an opportunity to even the scales a little bit more. But I was willing to work with the Magi. I was willing to do it. It didn't have to be like that.

They didn't want to take that chance. Are they doing it for themselves? I can't answer that. I am unable to answer that. He puts his hands up as he sees all of you squint when he says, I can't answer that. I'm unable to. I do know, I think, from what I've heard, that the power that they took from you still exists somewhere. It's not gone. It's just been removed. And put where?

If I had to guess based on the texts that I've been given access to or the traditions, it sounds like the knife and those bowls could be part of it. The knife tasted the blood of all those forms. It stands to reason that it has those spiritual reverberations, resonances, signatures. Echoes? Echoes. Yeah, that's good. Me points at you. Echoes. Yeah. It stands to reason the knife still feels those echoes. Okay. Anyways, yeah, they wanted to even the scales, but I don't know.

It seemed pretty hardcore to me. They seemed really untrusting of you. And then when that woman came and told us about the wizard, that seemed like… Wait. What woman? What woman? A woman came and… Was it a super hot lady in a red dress, short hair? Was her name Allison? No. Was it a lady that made your boner so hard that you couldn't get your pants off? No. Definitely. Definitely not. Okay. What was her name? Oh, my God. What was her name? I'm sorry. I'm trying to remember. I did hear it.

I swear to God. She was an orc. She was pretty tall. She had long hair. Was it Caroline? No, it wasn't Caroline. It was like Corrine, though. Yeah, Corrine. Corrine. That's what it was. Did she mention who she worked for? No, but Roth and the others, the elders, they seemed to know her. They seemed to know her. They seemed to know her. Or be familiar with her in some way.

But yeah, once she came here and said, there are some people, they're traveling with a wizard, the wizard is dangerous, and we need you to capture them. That's all I know, I swear. That's all I know. You mentioned texts? Yeah. Yeah. Old writings. Where are these old texts? Fuck. Man, you're asking me a lot of questions that I wish I had clearer answers to. I can't impart on you how… How secretive these people are. We need to find those books, man. Can you help us? How? I mean, you have access.

They're not gonna stop you. Access? I mean, I guess you're gonna have to… This is where you're gonna have to roll. Your life for… Because like… You've already asked him to divulge a bunch of stuff that could certainly get him killed. But now you're being like, how about you act as a… Double… Double agent for us. Yeah. And that's an order of magnitude more. Okay, so is somebody rolling something? I'll roll this parlay. Okay, and what are you offering him?

What leverage do we have on him? He just divulged a bunch of information. You could turn him over to… His people and let them know that he's a snitch. Yeah. Yeah. That, I think, is the best leverage we have. Yeah. Yeah. It's just to be like, you want to walk away from this? Yeah. You want to walk away from this, Colleen? Then you steal those texts back for us. Otherwise, we're gonna find the rest of the Magi and tell them what you told us. Mm-hmm.

And it won't be hard because I know they're looking for us now. You gotta roll first. Yeah. That's good leverage, though. Yep. 2d6 plus charisma. Damn. 10. Wow. Because I made myself dumber. Yeah. Take that. He's gripping onto Tuck's wrist really hard, by the way. Like, he's shaking. He's shaking a lot. Tuck, of course, is just iron. Yeah. I picture, like, a cartoon. Like, Tuck takes a second, like, scratches his head and goes back to his throat. At least his head, his things go…

As you reach back out. So strong. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. I'll do it. If what you said about the Magi is true, I think that maybe they are not as dedicated to balance as they might think they are. Yeah. When I joined, they were like, we, because of these reasons, we have the moral, spiritual authority to decide who deserves power. And I believe them. I believe them. And if I'm being honest, I might still a little, but I would rather not die. So I will do what you say.

And do you promise to us that you're going to do this? Nice. I promise. All right. Billy's going to use oath. When someone promises you something, you may spend a point to make it super naturally bind. Tell the GM what will happen to the person if they break their promise. If the person breaks their promise, the effect will come to pass and you will know immediately. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Like that. Then we will know immediately if he betrays us. Yeah.

And the promise is I will steal these books for you. Yeah. And bring them to us. Okay. And Billy like licks all the yogurt off of his hand because he still had plenty of raisins in his pockets. And he's like, all right, pinky swear. Tuck, bring him over. And tuck, like just brings him back onto the platform that we're on. And he collapses a little bit. He like drops under his weight. Like, oh, oh, thank you so much for not dropping me. So that pinky swear. Pinky swear. And what's your name? Erk.

Erk. Okay. All right. I was going to say one of you needs to knock me out, but I'm about to pass out anyways. So, as soon as he says, one of you needs to knock me out, but tuck slugs. And he's just out like blood. Like you break his lip. And he's out on this, on the brickwork. And it's kind of beautiful watching the droplets of red blood splatter. Some of them go out sailing over the town. They glitter through the air. Land on a seagull. And yeah, Perel has, has since woken back up as well.

Yeah. I gave him some jerky sticks. Well, what? Talk. Did you kick me at somebody? No, I think that was Ving. Ving did that. Hey, Ving, how could you do this to me? How did you wander off? What happened? What do you mean? What happened? You wandered away. You made yourself a fucking target and they got kidnapped. I didn't wander away. And he's like picking himself up off the ground. He's like, for the first time in months, we had a clear path to our goal of returning my magic to me.

And you were all having a fucking party. And we all like, I mean, look at that. That's that blood. Oh, weird. Wow. Don't remember that. So high up. You were sleeping in a bag and he points at Ving. He points at Tuck. I don't know where you were. And he points at Billy. And I looked down the stairs. You were eating yogurt raisins. Look, that's all there was. I just, I just wanted, I just wanted to make actual progress. So I thought that I would go do some forward scouting. You know what I mean?

Like, come on, I'm you guys rag on me a lot, but I've been doing okay. I've been doing all right lately. Look at this. And he lifts up his shirt and you can see he does have his abs. His stomach's a little bit harder than it used to be. He's not quite as like soft as he was. I've been working. I've been practicing the silent word. I'm I can take care of myself. I'm an adult. I'm technically older than all of you. When did you get a belly ring? I forgot. I didn't take that out. I got that.

There was a librarian that I've been hanging out with. They thought it'd be fun. It was, but that's beside the point. Well, I'm sorry, Perel. I didn't mean to make you feel useless. It's just obviously, I mean, clearly we've been under a lot of stress thing, especially, and we're not going to be able to do anything. And we're not going to be able to do anything. And we're not going to be able to do anything. We're mostly doing this for you. And it just don't run off again without telling us.

We always tell you what's going on. You're, you're right. You do. You're right. You do. And I shouldn't have run off like that. And we always check in with each other before we get piercings. So rule in this family. Yeah. Did you guys want to get piercings too? No. Yes, but I'm not allowed. Yeah. That's the thing is we've talked Billy out of multiple septum piercings. He thinks it would be fun. To like hang little, like nice smelling flowers. So what now?

Well, I think we need to get out of here. Cause my fairy dust doesn't last very long. And I imagine Roth is on his way up. Oh no, you didn't kill Roth. I, I felt like he was kind of, I tied his shoes together. So maybe he died because of that. He was on the staircase. Perel's fully struggles to his feet. And he's like, we have to leave. Yeah. Is Roth like the king of the Druids or whatever? Yes. What an idiot. I, I don't know who their leader is, but Roth is up there. He is very dangerous.

You saw, you must've seen during that fight, his mastery over the elements is, is surprising. All right. I can get us, I can get us out of here. How? And then Tuck catches a moth and he whispers, and then he lets it go. It flutters dead down. Tuck, Tuck reaches out, grabs him off, whispers to it and go. All right. That was the only way to get to call the giant Eagle. So we're fucked now. I'm so sorry. His name was Barry. Yeah. So how are you guys going to get down from here?

Are you going to go back down the way you came? No, you got to find a different way down. Tuck, how did the low, like how did the locals get down? Nobody comes up this high. The locals, climb up like a bit, like a third of the way up on the outside. Well, the giants must've come up here. How'd they get down? They climbed down the inside. Shit. Oh no, where broth is. And Peral's nodding like, uh-huh. Can I roll escape route? Yes. Oh yeah. Could you read it out real quick? Okay.

So, uh, escape route when you're in too deep and need a way out. Name your escape route and roll plus dexterity on a 10 plus. You're gone. You're gone. You're gone. On a seven to nine, you can stay or go, but if you go, it costs you and you leave something behind or take something with you. The GM will tell you what. Whoa. Oh God, please. You can do this, Billy. Use your brain. Fuck. Fuck. Shit. Plus dexterity. Oh, um, oh, actually, uh, eight. Okay. Not bad. Shit. Okay. Oh, is it the teddy bear?

Oh, no. Uh, the teddy bear would be less narratively interesting cause you did just get it. Ooh. You know what? Billy's been stealing books from the library. Uh huh. And if he left a library, a book from the Margani library, Billy, we told you to steal any more books. What? When? Okay. So first of all, I think you'll, I think Billy will realize later, like once you get to the bottom that you left one up there. What was the book that you stole? Was it the fairy journal?

It was, I think it was a pink book. It was a pink book and it was about food. Okay. Food for beings who don't eat. Yeah. So that is the book that you're going to leave at the top there by signaling to Roth and the Medjay that you were working with the library. Fuck. No, no, Sean, choose a different thing. Yeah. Choose me. I'll stay behind. Take me instead. Uh, and yeah. So what's the way down? I guess we could repel. You got a harpoon in a rope and just like go.

And Tuck has a ax that he's traditionally used to climb down. Like, I think it's through a combination of your abilities and equipment. You are able to get down very slowly. Kind of like at Aquarius tower. I think that's how we got down. Totally. Like Tuck embeds the accent to the side of the railing, leans out, leans out a kilometer above the city. Like this is really scary. Yeah. Tucks like legs quiver a little bit.

And then he like closes his eyes and he's like, worst thing that'll happen is I'll die. And then it won't be my problem anymore. Uh, and then he like takes Ving and hangs him down to like, uh, throw the harpoon down. Ving's taint is humming right now. Oh boy. I throw the harpoon down, uh, a length and then scale down the rope. Mm hmm. Oh, and Billy, is he climbing or is Billy on the, in the Bjorn? Billy is climbing for sure. Uh, he trusts his own hands more than Bjorn right now.

And I guess Perel is like coming last. And yeah, Tuck's thing is that he like pulls the accent and then like slams it into the wall a distance down. God, so scary. He does like 50 foot drops every time. Yeah. Like Billy, Billy Ving and Perel are climbing down like hand over hand. Very scared. And Tuck is just like, fuck. And I, I'm like crying, just pissing also. So, uh, Dan's down at the bottom and he's like, there's no clouds. It's raining. Ah, catching the raindrops in his mouth. Jesus.

Uh, so do you guys get all the way down or do you get to like a, a partway point? I think it'd be cool if we landed on like the, like when it may be like a roof or something. Yeah. Of the sticks. Yeah, totally. So, cause the sticks, I think there are houses that are built, like closer to the lighthouse. It goes way higher. You know what I mean? Like they're not built all the way up the side, but they're pretty high up. Kind of like flotsam. Exactly. Yeah.

So, but they go like, you know, six stories, which is fucking big for ramshackle buildings. And I think it's so cool that like the sticks went out and around and then down the cliff. Yeah. It's like, it looks like moss. Yeah. It looks like fungus. Yeah. That's really cool. And they're like rich people in the lower ward. Like they look up at it and they're like, disgusting. Yeah, exactly. There was, yeah. They try to put like a policy in place in the city when they started moving them out.

They're like, absolutely not. We're not looking at it. And every once in a while, a bunch do fall down. Yeah. And it's bad news. But yeah, so we cut to one of the top floor shacks in the sticks. It's about 120 feet. Yeah. A shack high on the side of the lighthouse. An old rickety man makes soup in a beaten iron pot over a small guttering flame. He's like, Hmm, my life is simple, but it's good. Just about there. Just about ready.

And he looks over at his whistling teapot with his little rat that's curled up on a chair next to him. And he's like, Petunia, we're going to eat good tonight. And then boom, crashes through the roof of this guy's house. Lands in the soup. And Petunia and the old man don't move. Just looking at all of you. Tuck bursts up through the pile of floorboards that were on top of a roof boards or whatever. Oh my God. I'm so sorry, sir. We can fix this for you. We are so sorry to bother you.

Vings like Petunia. I'm sorry. I didn't know it was your house. It's been a while. It's good to see you. Yeah. She's like, Oh, don't worry at all. Ving. It's always fine to see you out on the street. Done from my friends. And the old man says, would you like some soup? Oh, so we have soup with this man whose name is, uh, his name is Greg. Greg, Greg, Gregory, the third. Wow. You can call me Greg. Thank you, Greg, for dinner. I hope your roof holds up. Oh, it's fine. Stuck around to fix his roof.

Yeah. That's not the first time someone's fallen through my roof and it's not going to be the last. I'll tell you. That much. And then we can cut forward. What next? What's your next step? It, it, would it be okay if like we get out and I, um, what there's like some moths flying around. Um, and I'm looking for like a paper moth. Hmm. Oh, like a bookworm. Yeah. Bookworm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The library's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To ask for an extraction. Yeah.

To ask for them to pick us up because we're ready to come back. And as you're like looking, do you think that, yeah, they must be the one that don't, that Tuck swallowed, just coughs it back up and it's Oman. Oh, Oman. Uh, yeah, you, Billy are looking around. The evening is slowly darkening around you. The worm lights of the cliff side sticks are starting to glow and you see a fluttering cloud of moths guttering around a sign that says cheap suits.

And, uh, you recognize one of them as a bookworm. So I go catch it and I bring it to Bing and Tuck. Okay. Um, can you write down to ask for a ride back? What is your name? Uh, it's Karen. Holy shit. This mouth's clearly a bitch. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's Karen with a Y, not with an E. Cool. What do you need? We need extraction. Back to the library. Post haste. Chop, chop. Well, I can speak to you, but that is a very unusual thing. You will have to write your request upon my wings.

So Tuck writes, extract, extract. He writes, Tuck writes, extraction. He writes this. Wow. The R is backwards. Oh my God. Extraction, please. Extra action, please. Incredible. And, uh, Karen, the bookworm, she seems very perturbed. When Tuck finishes, is finished writing, you can see her reach up one of her little, uh, tiny moth feet and touch something on her face that makes it look like she's adjusting, uh, glasses.

And you can see she has little black markings around her eyes that look like horn rim glasses. Yeah. And she's like, okay, extraction coming soon. And she flaps away. It takes a little bit for the library to get back out here. While we're waiting. Can I just check in with, because I marked, Oh, who? Alma and, Oh yeah. And, uh, Farhan, can I just get Sean to tell me what they've been up to? Wait, you marked them? How? Well, you marked, well, you would have marked one of them. Yeah.

Remember he, I shook hands with him. I marked them in the library. Oh, like with eye of the tiger. Yeah. You can use it on people. Yeah, I can. That's sick. He told you this a couple episodes ago and you had the same reaction. Yeah. And, um, so what they're doing right now, they're both kind of in a more quiet area. Yeah. That isn't their rooms. They've been a little bit more mobile lately, not much, but a little tiny bit. And they are, um, sitting at a table, sharing some tea and just talking.

And, um, before, like to give you an idea of sort of what's going on, they're in a very lush garden conservatory zone, like a little place where people study plants from all over the world. And they're sitting between bunches of tropical ferns and flowers, drinking some tea and talking idly about like the good old days. Yeah. I mean, their good old days are very different because, uh, but it's like, you know, they're talking about food. They're talking about games that they like.

They're just, it's old men having a conversation, but you do see in a chair between them fiddling with like a sandwich and like twisting a cup of tea back and forth. Moodily is fat. Um, Oh, he's there. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is this like a group therapy session? Almost. It kind of has that vibe and Fadum looks very, he looks pretty fucking moody. Uh, he's bald now. Like he doesn't have his like weird faux Hawk ponytail thing anymore.

And his, um, his sunstone eye is glowing Dolly in his eye socket. And he's just like muttering to himself. And, uh, far Han like places a hand on Fadum's arm for a second and is like, Fadum, something seems to be bothering you. And he's like, yeah, yes, everything's bothering me. Uh, I, I'm in this fucking place full of nerds. The whole, like the last three years of my life have been a waste. I've just been a tool. I've been a weapon that's been used by somebody.

And you can see he like looks at far Han for a second and far Han, like frowns, not angry or sad, just like kind of disappointed, I guess. And he's like, I just, I don't know what to do anymore. And I'm tired of fucking sitting around and drinking tea. And he like slams his hands on the table for a second. And all the teacups rattle and Alma, you see Alma reach a handout and you feel through his senses, like a vibration, a frequency and Fadum stops his like grumbling.

And Alma says, you have had your life. I'm like, I'm taken from you, but what do you wish to do with it now? And he stops for a second and thinks, and you see the, the sunstone. I like glow a little bit brighter. And he says, I want to make it right. And then you get pushed back to your perception. I have so many goosebumps. That was so cool. That was great. So sick. And then your ride shows up. You hear honk, honk. And some, he pops out of a sand boat.

And a guy with a, with a mullet and a handlebar mustache pops out and goes, hop on. We're heading back to the library. No, that none of that fucking happens. It's the regular surreptitious, a hop in a sand boat quietly on the edge of town and get taken back. So by the time you get back to the library, it's like around midnight, maybe one in the morning, the night shift has started. So there are librarians up and about, but it's a little bit quieter than you're used to.

You get this, this feeling. It's a feeling that you haven't had in a while, especially since you've come to McCall, like the click, click, click, click, click, boom, closes behind you. Like from the, uh, what are those things? The funicular that takes like the sand boats down into the library itself. And you feel a sense of safety. You're like, we're home. We're fine. Uh huh. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then you get to the library and you get to the library and you get to the library Yeah.

Tuck lets a bunch of tension out of his like shoulders that he'd been holding, uh, uh, subconsciously. Billy lets a huge fart. And the sand boat driver looks down at you and says, thank you for holding that. Sorry. It's been a long day. You're right. And they let rip a huge fart as well. I've been sitting in that boat for a while. Anyways, I'm hitting the calf. See ya. I also want to hit the calf. That's a great idea. I'll come to the cafeteria too. Let's get some grub.

Perel, do you want to come? I, I think I'm going to hit medical and then I'm going to get some sleep. Oh yeah. We look at Perel and this side of his face is so swollen. Do you want to get some food? I would love to, if I could open half my mouth. I'll, I'll see you guys tomorrow. Yeah. They really worked him over. Yeah. Perel, you can take my teddy with you. Thank you, Billy. And he takes it. And before he leaves, I'm like, here, I have this. I think you'll like it.

It's a choose your own adventure, love and lust. And he snatches it out of your hand. He goes, uh, yeah, that looks fine. I want to give him the, here's a puzzle artichoke to try and figure out while you're lying up in bed. And now he's like, got shit. He's got shit piled in his arms and he's like, okay, thank you. I mean, do you have anything else that you would like me to take back to our room? I mean, if you're going there, here's my silver gauntlets. I don't need these right now.

I take back my teddy bear. I'm like, fine. I mean, if you don't want, no, Billy, I'm joking. Okay, fine. I thought, I just thought you could cuddle him if you were lonely. I'm probably going to anyways, have, I'll, I'll see you all later. And he hobbles off to, uh, to the medical wing. So what is your, you're going to the cafeteria. That's your first stop. Oh yeah. Always. Every time. Yeah. Um, the night shift chef is working. It's not Louise. Oh, we all got so excited. Oh my God.

I'm going to get a party burrito. The, the, the night shift cook is, uh, an 18 year old named, Bertie, who's been, uh, here for not very long, but has been a librarian since they were like nine. Wow. But hasn't been cooking for very long. Cause it turns out that Bertie's not very good at other stuff. Hi Bertie. Hi. How are you? Oh, I'm great. I got a whole batch cooking up back here for you. Nice. What'd you get?

Uh, so it's called Bertie's surprise because I started making a goulash and I messed it up and then I had to add some other stuff. And now it's a different food. That's funny. Usually you end up with a goulash after you mess up. That's what I thought. I guess I did a reverse goulash. You know what? It's called the reverse goulash. Can't wait. And he's slopped some out for, uh, for Billy. Cause it sounds like he's excited. Oh, Billy loves any food. Yeah.

There's other stuff, but if you guys want to reverse goulash, you can have that. Yeah. Yeah. I'd want to try this reverse goulash, but can you also make me a coffee? Yeah. Yeah. Oh no, I got a whole pot. His coffee sucks, but he makes a lot of it. Tech doesn't care. He hates coffee anyway. He just needs to stay awake. That is Abdul's feelings about coffee. I've for somebody that drinks coffee so much.

I've had multiple conversations with Abdul where he's been like, I don't like coffee, but it's the only thing that keeps me awake and focused. Billy helps himself to a couple bread rolls and some carrot sticks, an apple, a waffle. And, uh, uh, two chocolate almond milks. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and being in the back, you see like behind birdie and his huge cauldron of reverse goulash. You see what looks to be a leftover tray of, um, Louise's gumbo. Oh, he's not doing anything with, I'll take that.

And also he's indulging his sweet tooth. So he grabs a few of the cheesecakes, cheesecake bars. Nice, man. I really, I want to go to the library's cafeteria right now. I love cafeterias so much for some reason. Um, yeah. And you guys just have a nice, like, honestly, take your hit points back like this. After a long day, this is enough to be like, man, what a fucking couple days we just had. Does Farrah like come and find us after she finds out that we've come back?

Um, you would guess that she's probably asleep. Can we get sent? Just send word to her that we are back. Yeah. Yeah, you can do that. And, um, you know, somebody rushed, like goes off to go grab her and she comes down and she's like wiping sleep out of her eyes. She goes to the counter in the cafeteria and gets a tea from birdie and she comes and sits down with all of you. Hi, Farrah. Hello. Sorry to wake you up. It's, it's quite all right. I only sleep four to five hours a night as it is.

So, um, what has happened? I get the distinct feeling that there were some events. Oh, man, I forgot. Billy's face is so slashed up. He's like, what do you mean? Yeah. You guys got your hit points back from a philosophical sense. You know what I mean? You're still injured as fuck. So let's start at the most terrifying. Terrifying. Uh, revelation and work backwards. How about, um, seems like tux getting dumber. Hmm.

Uh, he started holding his pencil with his entire fist and now all of his hours are backwards, but it has made it more charming and she just sips her tea and waits for you to continue. And there, we had a run in with the magi. Uh, who are like fake druids. Basically, she puts her tea back on her saucer and they beat up Perel and kind of beat us up a little bit and we beat them up. We beat them up. Um, what else happened?

Wait, Billy, weren't you saying that they like were torturing spirits or something? Yes. Billy forgot. Yes, that is a big point, uh, that we learned. Um, yes, they are there. They've made themselves druids in a totally unnatural way in that they've basically forced the spirits, the natural elements to basically like shackle to their bodies. Um, instead of the natural way, like being where you call upon the spirits, they're getting these powers in a really different way. Interesting.

Do we think that this is connected to the rituals that Perel and Ving noticed in that novel that corroborated accounts Perel had studied of the, the dark church? I think so. I had a pretty significant flashback. You might call it. If the Medjai of McCall are descended even ideologically from the dark church, the bringers of the black flame, whatever their name is, that could be trouble for a number of reasons. They also had like a weird fucked up heart, hard on, sorry, no, this makes sense.

So Turk like says that, and then it's like, ah, sorry, shit. It's so late. Uh, I fell off of the lighthouse today. She, uh, she, why widens her eyes and nods a little bit as she sips her tea. Uh, they have like a weird fucked up boner for like power and balance. That is traditionally the ideology of the Medjai. Yes. The balance, but like they're doing it in a, in a weird way. Like they tortured the shit out of Ving to get his like spirit Walker power. Hmm.

They've been known to take extreme measures in the divesting of power in the past. Yes. It just seemed targeted. I can see why you're the spirit Walker. After all, if there is such thing as spiritual imbalance, you are the walking embodiment. They also said that someone tipped them off to us. Yeah. Their name was Kareen, an orc lady with long hair. She, she, she widens her eyes. Do you know her? I do. Who, who is that? She was a former student of mine. Huh? What does she know?

Why would she have a vendetta against us? I know not. I know only that my goodness, 15 years ago, 16 years ago that she left the library. Um, and sailed away. My understanding is to the principalities, but once she left the shores, I lost track of her. Why do you think she'd come back from what I could glean, uh, in her hasty exit from the library, she was going to serve some, she said greater purpose. I will send people into the city to try and gather more information.

Cause this is, this is personally concerning to me. Um, well, Billy made one of them pinky swear to bring us back. One of their ancient texts. I wouldn't worry about it. It's a very powerful curse. And he takes a bite of his goulash, a pinky swear. You say, don't make fun of it. It's big deal. And he, she looks at the other two and was like, is this a fairy thing? Yeah. Billy's pinky swears are the real deal. There's a big business. She, she laughs as she's sipping her, tea.

And she's like, thanks. That's quite funny. Considering the pinky swear traditionally descends from the, the binding of two in an agreement, the chaining of one to another, the fact that you are able to, that's just funny to me. I'm sorry. I, I, I digress. I find that hilarious. That's so funny that Farrah is too smart to be funny. Doug says to Billy, Billy, and Farrah smiles. And she's, she's still drinking her tea. So, um, okay. The Medjay, they're binding spirits. You fought them.

They are connected perhaps to the bringers of the black flame in some way. They forcibly took being shape-shifting from him under the auspices of helping him possibly for somebody else. And they said that that power still exists somewhere. So they might be using it. Really? They might've taken that balance in their favor. Goodness me. They seem like hypocrite. They, they sound like hypocrites. Doug wouldn't know that word. He knows words. Come on.

He, he probably meant like something else, but he used it in the right. Yeah. Accidentally. Sound like a bunch of hippogriffs. That's what I mean. Yeah. So if that is true, if your power, if that power, the power to shape shift, could they be using it as a weapon? If they could take it from you, perhaps they could transfer it to another. Yeah.

That would be the only thing that kept the power of the spirit Walker in check for this long is the fact that you thing are a decent man and kind of an idiot. I didn't want to say, man, Oh, he was going for a fist bump. Oh, he was going to get his gulag. Oh yeah. Okay. If it's not, she has bumps here, um, in the hands of another with less, uh, moral scruples than you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It could be true danger. It could be truly dangerous is what I meant to say. I'm sorry.

I woke up 25 minutes ago. So, okay. Anything else? Any pertinent information to share? Um, I, Shia and Jake, the jackal from the jackals are dating. Dating. I think so. Not for sure, but they're like low key sniffing around each other's butts. If you know what I mean, these were almost touching. Under the table. And she picks her saucer up and she says, but Shia said they were just hanging out. She's into the gossip. Wait, Farrah and Shia hang out? Shia checks in from time to time. Yes. Wow.

Well, I mean not to like gossip too heavily, but I did see a photo of Shia in Jake's locker. So What? I think it's pretty serious. Really? Was it decent? Tell me it was decent. It was. Oh yeah, she was clothed. It's fine. That's incredible. And considering the price of photographs, that's quite an investment on Jake's part. Hmm. Exciting young love. Oh, and a third, the gin has been destroying homes and other things. Right. Hmm. Yes.

That, uh, that corroborates a number of reports that I've been receiving. Yes. It's kind of off the chain. He's like vigilante Ying through the town. Left and right up and down the streets and the boulevards of old McCall. Uh, the coffee is now hitting text system. Yeah. Um, yes, that is deeply concerning. Oh, also the menders might be here. Oh yeah. I saw the ship with my block alerts or they will be here. Everybody's moving right past the fact Jessica said block alerts. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

She nods. She's aware of the menders, but not like super familiar. So she's like, ah, yes. Okay. That's the group that you were briefly aligned with in mud. Lark. Yeah. Mudlark. Yes. Yeah. We recognize their ship. Uh, and they don't, they don't care for you three. Correct. No, I can't imagine they would at this point. Now they wanted us to trap Perel forever in a stone jail.

Uh, I think we should, we should, we should, we should, we should, we should, we should, we should trap a stone in a stone. Jail. Uh, in solitary confinement for eternity. And we didn't do that. It's did. We smashed their Jel and we hacked their go Lomb and we left a box full of shit instead. There. So they might be bad. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. In that case, would they be a reason? Do you fear them? Are they a threat to you? I mean, Maggie's always been pretty chill with us.

Yeah, but she does have a very assertive side. So yeah, I am intimidated by her. Yeah, and a little bit turned on for me. In that case, I would caution, and I understand that I'm saying this to the three of you. To the three of you who, for some reason, are eating something called Bertie's Surprise. Backwards goulash. Yeah, Bertie goes, it's a reverse goulash. But she says, I would caution discretion when you return to the city. If you return to the city. Feel free to not return to the city.

And Billy, it's at this point in the conversation that you realize the thing that you left behind on the other side of the screen, on the top of the lighthouse, next to the unconscious form of Irk, was a library book. Oh, one second. And Billy hops off his bench and starts rummaging through his stuff. And he pops back up on the bench like, Thera. Yes? You wouldn't get mad at me, right? If something happened and it wasn't my fault?

Well, if it wasn't your fault, I would have no reason to get mad at you. Really? Okay, like you promised you wouldn't, you wouldn't get mad at me? She narrows her eyes a little bit. You promise you won't get mad at me if I tell you. Why do you need me to promise, Billy? Because I am scared. And I don't want you to yell at me. You can roll a defy danger charisma. Okay. Nice. Nine. Okay.

Maybe a seven to nine is that she's like, you tell me first and then I'll decide whether I- And then I get a time out. No, I don't know. Anyway, I'll let you decide. Yeah. Well, it's just, it's hard. It's hard for me to decide because if you do tell her, she's going to be like, well, Billy, I can't allow you to supernaturally train me into not getting mad at you on punishment of up to death. And Billy is trying, he's like, fine. He's trying to grab her pain. Yeah. Yeah.

Billy, if you just tell me, have I, is there anything in our short, short, short time knowing each other that would lead you to believe that I would be overly angry at you? I don't know. What happened? I may have accidentally stolen a book from the library a while ago. And I was carrying it up the tower and I might have like lost it in there in the lighthouse. And it might, one of the bad guys, the magi might find it. He probably will. Cause it was right beside one of them.

Cause I was reading it. I was reading it. Well, I was reading it up there when I was, cause I was bored for a second. I'm sorry. She puts her tea down and she stands up and she walks out of the cafeteria. Oh no, this is the worst thing I could have imagined. Her leaving? This seems like a pretty tepid response. This is a very like, but I know she's disappointed me. I'm like, whoa, that really hurts. And we cut back to the top of the lighthouse. Yeah. With Roth. Checking the library card.

Pulling the library card and seeing Billy. Big B. Big B with a heart next to it. Yeah, Bill, Billy. And he puts it back in and he snaps the cover shut and goes, the library. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Ving, the half elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. Playing Tacoma dome, the barbarian, Abdulaziz. So long. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye for now.

Thank you as always to our incredible Patreon supporters who are on those internets all the time. I can't believe I said internets like a teacher in 2006. I'm mad at myself that I said that. But you can find us online at speltlore in most places. And we can has Patreon supporters. Wow. Yeah. Support us on Patreon. Support us on Patreon. Should I buy? We can has Patreon supporters. Dot com. Oh, I bet it's not taken yet. That'd be amazing.

And if you support us at the $10 level at above, you can throw some names in our hither and yon discord channel. And we'll name, well, I'll name some NPCs after them. Thank you to Patreon supporter Stramash for the name Urk. Thank you to Optimus Bitch for the name Greg Greger. Thank you to the hilarious Gregory the third. Thank you to meme friend for the name Roth.

And if I haven't gotten your names yet, I will eventually, I'm basically just looking at a bunch of paragraphs and I picked the first name that I see. So come in and throw some names in the discord if you want. And we would be thrilled to name an NPC. And maybe drop us a review on iTunes if you want. That really, really helps us out. And we love reading all of the nice things that you say, because we're desperate for validation. So until next time, everybody, we'll see you next episode.

And so ends the tale of adventures three, who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be, for time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I gladly spout no.

Hey spell orians sean abdul here with a little announcement and a little treat for you you dirty bitch we're just gonna move right past this no no I'll do it I'll do it right hey spell orians uh abdul here with an announcement and a little treat for you sean is also here oh we're partnering with uh with our friends over the crit show to do an episode swap so today we're going to be releasing the pilot episode of the crit show in our feed and they're going to be releasing the pilot episode of Spout Lore over in theirs we're joined today by uh crit show titan and keeper rev hello rev hi hi can you hear rev yes sick this works excellent look at us scrappy young bunch of people who know just enough technology to get ourselves in trouble just don't look at the efficiency of the setup don't ask too many questions about what's plugged into what this audio is coming out of a 1990s talk boy this one's going into a teddy ruxpin I'm terribly excited to see like how much of the preamble of us just trying to figure out all the technology we can use for anybody who has stumbled across this who is in this call right now uh my name is Abdul Aziz I am a cast member on the infinitely popular a role-playing game podcast most popular podcast in the world and I am and I am Sean O'Hara game master on the moderately popular very passionate fan base rpg podcast uh and I'm rev I am the gm and the producer for uh you know the middle of the road podcast the crit show uh which is focused in monster of the week the second most popular monster of the week podcast you just you can't do anything about those mikhail roy's I know right it's like look is if you google monster of the week podcast or Dungeon World podcast yeah there's gonna be some big names above us yeah for sure but once you get down down in the muck where we are it's nice it's comfortable it's like a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a It's like a pig sty, you know, cozy.

What we did was we dug a hole to the dungeons of podcasts. But that's where our world is. There's nowhere to go but up. Exactly. Did we say we're a Dungeon World podcast? Did you say Dungeon World podcast? I didn't. No, I said RPG podcast. Okay. I mean, you were listening to an RPG podcast before you got to our episode. So it's a Dungeon World podcast. Are we doing the one that will be in front of our episode in your feed? Oh, are we doing them both at the same time?

I feel like we might be doing… Are we doing them both? We might be doing them both. At the same time? This is where the curtain gets pulled back and it turns out there's another set of cameramen. And this is where the two podcast feed merge? Yes. And then our two universes collide? Yeah. My pop culture brain is struggling to make a reference right now. I can feel it on the edge of my vision. But I don't know what it is.

The thing I'm thinking of is the Illuminati comic where two universes kept crunching together. And so the Illuminati were destroying the other world to make sure that one of them would always survive. Because the two worlds couldn't exist at the same time. But they were trying to take up the same space. Oh. Cool. That's cooler than my reference, which was the TGIF Halloween lineup where Salem the cat went to Boy Meets World. Hell yeah. You know what? That was the only thing I could think of.

I think yours is far more on brand for both of our audiences. I'm glad other people… You guys remember that, right? I do remember that vaguely. Salem the cat went… He swallowed a magic disco ball and he went to Boy Meets World and it became the 1940s. You know, the most chipper and upbeat of all decades of American life. Some people say that that's where the Wachowskis came up with the idea for the Matrix. I want you to elaborate on why you think that reference makes sense.

He swallowed a disco ball and then he went to Boy Meets World. I don't know. He went to a different world. Do you not remember that scene where Neo swallows a little disco ball? In a car in the rain, they force him to swallow a disco ball and then Salem the cat bursts out of his belly button? You know what? No, you know what? We're not going to talk about the Matrix, but I was watching it the other day. That's a pretty good movie. It's a solid movie. It's great. Rev, what do you think?

You know, I sat down years ago when I was working at this theater and they were in a rotating rep and I was only in one of the three shows. So I had all this free time and there was a blockbuster across the street. And so I rented the big box set that had like all of the movies that had the animatrix. It had like everything they never made, including like the video game cut scenes.

And funnily enough, you know, if you watch everything they created, it actually all made sense because there were like scenes in the video game that you needed to know to connect information in the movies. Yeah. Yeah. Because it was it started. The main character was the guy from. The Matrix Reloaded. Yeah. What are what's her face? His friend. Yeah. The Merovingian. No, no, no. I think his name's Ghost. It's just like he's just kicking it in the side in the background.

But he's like the main character in the games. Did they ever explain in the games why that cake made you come? They explained it in the scene. Did they? You might have been distracted. I was distracted. I forgot about the cupcake. Okay. But it's still pretty good movies. Yeah. And we'll see, you know, what the next one's like. Yep. Also, Rev, I don't know how blue your show gets. Oh, right. The pilot episode was pretty clean. Yeah, it is. It progressively falls off. Yeah.

At one point, we bleep the word fuck, but we were doing it because I thought it was really funny because I've seen some. I've seen some TV shows where like that bleep is real funny. The best. Is when it only catches like the first half of the word. Right. So you're just kind of that you're like racing the person to bleep them out. It's not quite catching. So what do we. Oh, right. We're here to like talk about. We did. This just turned into a whole other show. Crunch cast.

Welcome to crunch cast. Everybody. Where we talk about universes crunching together. Brought to you by Nestle Crunch. The official chocolate bar of the Illuminati. Well, I think I just found our new T shirt. That's how the Illuminati finally blew their cover is they just could not resist sponsoring Nestle Crunch. I know it was a real problem. Okay. What are we talking about? Yes. So in theory, if we right now are recording the intro that we will both use. How about this? I will ask you.

Tell me about your show. What is Spout Lore? Okay. Uh, spout. Lore is a Dungeon World podcast that follows the exploits of three idiots, uh, in their quest to blunder their way through the world's most important events and Spout Lore. Um, you know, much later in our show, we go into Spout Lore and not the show, but the game we go into Dungeon World. Yeah. Yeah. How many times can I say Spout Lore in a way that will then make this sentence incoherent? Uh, but Spout Lore.

It's a show that I listened to to learn Dungeon World. Like I listened to the first couple of episodes to like get a feel for the system. And then I, I just kept listening. That's how they get you. That's so sweet. And also, um, you did not learn how to play Dungeon World. Listen, at some point you said the names of some moves, some dice were rolled. That's really all I needed. I did the same. Honestly, though, I did the same thing with monster of the week.

We haven't had the opportunity to listen to monster to play monster of the week, but I was like, I gotta get an idea of how it actually works. I was like, I gotta get an idea of how it actually works. I was like, I gotta get an idea of how it actually plays, uh, after reading the book 50 times. And the crit show was a great opportunity to do that. Cause it's a cool kind of modern setting.

You do the thing that I like that I've never tried where you're yourselves, but like placed into a fantastical situation, like magic cost players and theater companies that are secretly monster hunting organizations. Like so tight. Cool. I really liked this scene of the pilot where, uh, like you guys are driving. And like a 1992 Honda civic and someone's like, there's a lot of bullets in the back. I think TJ's like, there's a lot of bullets in the backseat here. What's this all about?

Is this a grenade? Uh, yeah. So, uh, as you said, it's, uh, the kind of the, the little twist on it is that my players play as themselves. And so they start out as the playbooks that are kind of closest to their, their personalities, uh, things they could justify. Uh, and then it turns into them be kind of coming. The folks who are pulled into a much more complicated story than they want to or prepared to be involved in.

Uh, and then we hit other powered by the apocalypse games because in the vein of so many monster shows, they discover the thing they need to defeat their big bad isn't here. And so they start dimension hopping. Uh, and each dimension is a different powered by the apocalypse game. Uh, that's so fucking sick. Such a cool setup.

It's also like for any of our listeners, like it'll be, it's really easy to jump onto the crit show because the powered by the apocalypse system makes it like so easy to like just follow what's happening. Totally. It's the same kind of dice rolls. It's the same kind of like success and failures. So like you're immediately like plugged into it. And the tone of the crew is very similar. It's like, it's, it's upbeat.

It's kind of more focused on the humor and the storytelling than it is on like the, you know, like super intense crunch. You got the, the crunch being like the mechanics and the math. Yes. Yeah. The, like the, it's not super focused on like the, the intricacies of the system, though it does hit the beats of the system very, very easily and very effectively. And it's nice. Cause you know, you talked about the energy around the table.

It's, you know, we are, are a group of friends and it feels very similar to when I listened to Spout Lore because starting off, I'm listening to all of you at a comedy club recording together. Can you, can you talk a little bit about that experience? Yeah, we, uh, Abdul, Paul and I, um, met doing comedy and Jessica, uh, and I met when we were children doing comedy, doing comedy, doing comedy. Uh, so we all kind of met at the same time where like Jessica and I were going to a lot of shows.

Uh, and then the mo when we decided we wanted to do a podcast, we all lived in tiny one bedroom apartments. And we thought, where's the best. The best place that we could do it. So we just did it in the back room of the comedy club that we started at. Yeah. That we started doing comedy at. Yeah. It was really cool. It's really cool to have like your, the place where you started comedy would be the place where you started your first podcast. I never thought about that. Yeah. Me neither. R.I.P.

Ratfish lounge. You were, you were too beautiful for this world. Yeah. The comedy club is still there, but that room, they gave it up. It was like an attic in the comedy club. Well, they sold it to. They gave it back to the hotel that it was in. And then the hotel got sold to another hotel chain. And now it's just like a haunted mansion. Basically. It's the spookiest place in Victoria. I think. Yeah. And what happened to the room? Is it just filled with ghosts now?

I actually walked in there like a year after cause they don't lock the door. So I just went into the bar and uh, it was just full of boxes. It was kind of sad. It was like the end of cheers when they like turn the lights off. Yeah. Yeah. It was like at the end of cheers when they sold cheers to the Ramada in. Did they turn the lights off at the end of cheers or was I thinking about boy meets world again? They do that at the end of fresh Prince for sure. And boy meets world. Okay. Yeah.

Probably cheers. Yeah. I remember the last episode of Alf. They shot Alf in the face. He did not do that, which it's funny that you do. You know, with about the last episode of Alf. Yeah. Everybody hated the show. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. They finally bust him, and then they never made another season. So the end of Alf is Alf getting captured by the FBI. Whoa.

And it's just a deep seed, because now they want to do a sequel show right about now to distract everyone, where it'll be Alf breaking out of his federal prison. Like 30 years later? Yeah. Honestly, I wasn't crazy about Alf when I was younger, but I would watch that. He's just all jacked and angry, though, now. He's got all the prison tattoos. He's been working out for 30 years. Can you imagine that puppet just ripped? I can. I don't want to, but I'm able to.

It's just Dwayne the Rock Johnson in an Alf head. With the hat on? That's great. Tell us about how the Crit Show kind of started. So it actually kind of started on accident, in that our podcast was originally going to be Pathfinder, and we were having some issues with the equipment. So I ordered some new equipment. And then a buddy of ours was over just hanging out. And so the four of us sat down to test the equipment.

I was like, oh, let's play Monster of the Week, because we had just bought that book the previous week. And everyone had joked about like, oh, if I was a playbook, this is the one I'd be. I said, so just play the playbook that you said you're going to be. And so we recorded it to test the equipment. And two of the folks left, and I turned to Tass, and he goes, well, that's the show. And I said, it is. Now we've got to figure out how to get everybody involved. Wait a second.

So you're telling me that you're piloting? Your pilot episode was accidentally recorded? Yeah. That's awesome. Like, the quality that came out of just let's sit down and see if the mics work is astounding. Yeah. So then we had to kind of go back and rerecord, like, character introductions and stuff, because we didn't do any of that. Did you guys all work at that theater that's in the pilot episode? So Tass works there. Jake worked there for a little while. And then I have never worked there.

And TJ didn't work there. But I worked at different theaters around. The area. Okay. Are you guys all, like, theater folks? Three of the four. Jake is not. Jake is a martial artist. Whoa. So cool. Cool. That's awesome. Yeah. He was just our role playing buddy who had just started, like, a year and a half before really getting into it. That's so sick. That's like Jessica. Yeah. Just, like, not being a performer and then ending up being one of the. Probably. Quickest and funniest cast members.

Okay. I mean, of course. Piece of shit. Of course. It's all a tie for first. He's like, I'm right here. I'm a cast member, Sean. And there's only three of us. Uh-huh. I'm just saying that Jessica went from not performing. So either I'm second worst now or last. I mean, if you keep it up, you're going to be last. Do we have to do this on the call with Rev? We have to do this right now. Fuck yeah. You dude. Bullshit. Abdul brought me in to mediate. Sean, this is an intervention. An intervention?

I thought you were going to say couples therapy. What did I do? That's what an intervention starts. This is an intervention. An intervention? I thought it was for Abdul. You suck. I'm great. What points have we hit so far? The systems. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. The systems, the vibes. Yeah. And what's your website? Where can people find you? If on our feed, they listen to this and they're like, Hey, I want to listen to more. Yeah.

You can find us at spell or.com and you find us at hot meat boys.com. Yeah. That will get explained in season three. If you ever get there. Yeah. That's the easiest way to find us is just honestly, if you, uh, we picked a specific enough name that if you just search Spout Lore, you'll find us. Yeah. And it's not sprout lore, which is what a lot of people end up typing in, including my dad. He still thinks it's called. Spout Lore. So your dad right now is just listening to a botany podcast.

Exactly. He doesn't know what a podcast is. I don't think. No. And also definitely not what our podcast is. Imagine Pat called you. It was like, I heard you guys on the crit show. That's good. You know, I wasn't, I wasn't sure if it was going to translate over to, uh, to monster of the week that easily, but, uh, it was pretty, you know, it was a similar, I like the similarness in the systems, the difference in genre. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Literally. My dad is just like, I built another shed. That's sort of his interests. Dad, you got to stop building shit. I can't stop. They kicked me out of home Depot. Where can people find you rev and the crit show? Yeah. They can find us at the crit show podcast.com or the crit show, wherever you listen to podcasts and on most social medias. Um, and I noticed, you know, I was just, this is kind of a side tangent, but your, your art is so beautiful.

Um, and I was looking at your website. I was looking at your website the other day and I see that you have your show broken up into seasons. Um, is that something that is when, when someone downloads the show and they look at, um, you know, the episode numbers, is that all broken into seasons there as well? Or is it just a running number and you kind of know where the season breaks? No, the season breaks are like programmed into the podcast feed.

So like if you subscribe to it, like in just any podcatcher, like you'll see season one, season two, season three, season four. Uh, and if your listeners like the first episode, but they want to like kind of sample more of whatever's going on later in the podcast, we have like a section of the website that's just fan favorite moments that they can go to. And it's just fun clips from, from like later seasons and stuff that they can be like, Oh, is this my vibe or what? And what about you guys?

You guys have like 200 plus episodes. And you've swapped shows like eight times and then you play like a billion different systems on your Patreon. So yeah, we do. We have a bunch. Like if you go to our feed, there are, there's a lot of episodes. Um, they are broken down the same way by season and then also by bonus content. Um, so we are in our fourth season. Uh, our seasons are kind of around like 45 to 50 long.

Um, and then all of those other episodes are either live shows that we've done, or we also make let's plays for newly releasing RPGs or RPGs. So we have a bunch of things that are just going on to Kickstarter. People will come to us and we'll do like a three or four episode.

Little mini playthrough where the creator of the game will come on, walk us through character creation, and then we'll play a one shot of it and we'll put that out and they'll use it on their, um, on their feeds or their patron page or what have you. But we also publish it on our main feed. So there's a bunch of playthroughs of like fate of Cthulhu and a gone and a lot of, uh, indie RPG games. That's sick. I listened. I recently was listening to your podcast.

I listened to your, uh, perilous tides game and so, so cool. Great game. Cool setting. Yeah. If anybody out there is making an RPG, we're open to that. I want to play more games. I'm trying to convince, I got to slowly trick these guys into playing other RPGs because none of them played RPGs before we started the podcast. So every time I introduce new rules to them, they get mad at me.

So any opportunity I can have to hoodwink them into playing a new powered by the sun, I'm going to play a new one. I'm going to play a new one. I'm going to play a new one. I'm going to play a new one. I'm going to play a new one. It's a ton of fun. I'll take it. And if there's anyone out there who's designing an ALF RPG, come get at me. I want to play as ALF and I want to fight my way out of a government facility. Well, see, you're making a joke, but that's a pretty good idea.

Most of my jokes are good ideas. I mean, the kids on bike system could facilitate an ALF style RPG where you all collaboratively control ALF. Hello, my name is ALF. That is the opposite of what ALF sounds like. My name is ALF. Who are you? Don't do this. Don't make me feel like you don't know what ALF sounds like and then have to clarify it to you. No, I know it, Alphys. I know you do. I'll do his voice right there. No, you won't. That's what I thought you were going to do. My name is ALF.

Okay, so yeah, Spellorians, if you want to check out the Crit Show, go check out the Crit Show podcast. And enjoy their pilot episode. Which we will play right now. Well, hello and welcome to the very first episode of the Crit Show. This is an actual play podcast of a tabletop RPG. And… And… And if you're unfamiliar with this type of podcast, then all those words I just said are most likely gibberish.

If you've never played a tabletop RPG before, the quick and dirty version of it is that you have a group of people at a table telling an interactive story. One of them is the game master or GM. They act as a storyteller or a narrator for the game world. While the other players, or PCs, at the table control only one character each. Now, what separates an RPG from an interactive story is that instead of just saying what they want to do, the PCs roll dice after they declare.

And the results dictate how well or poorly their character did in the story the GM is telling alters from there. When prepping this podcast, we played four or five different games with different people as GM and ultimately landed on Monster of the Week for our first game. Monster of the Week is pretty user-friendly for both the players and for someone listening in at home.

Now, later I'm sure we'll play other games, but for now, we'll follow in the footsteps of Buffy and the Winchester brothers and Ashley Williams. Okay, that's enough out of me. Enjoy episode one and welcome to the Crit Show. Hello and welcome to the Crit Show. My name is Brandon Wentz, but please call me Rev. Around the table we have… Hi, I'm Tass. I'm Jake. And I'm Teej. This is an actual play podcast where we play Monster of the Week.

But our little twist on this is that one night we were at C2E2, who we hope will sponsor us one day just by us saying their name. Just for that. Just for that. That's all it takes, right? Yeah, I think so. Oh, I'll actually be right back. There's somebody knocking. I'm at the door. I assume it's them. Oh, it's the C2E2 guy. All right. Sponsored. Sponsored. All right. Sweet. But one night, talking about playing this game, and the idea came across that what if they played as themselves?

And we talked about it a little bit and realized that there were a couple of playbooks in this game that, with just a couple minor changes to their normal everyday lives, could be feasible. So we are playing through Monster of the Week. I am the Keeper, and these guys are actually playing themselves in what we'll call the other side of the coin universe. Monster of the Week is a…

A Powered by the Apocalypse game, which means that they have two six-sided die, and they'll roll those dice to figure out if they are successful. A 10 to 12 is a really good success. A 7 to 9 is a moderate success. And then a 6 and under is not good for them. So why don't you guys tell me a little bit about who you are and what you do? Absolutely. So I am playing what's called the Professional.

What I'm modeling that after is that I, in real life, work at a theater, a live play, you know, live action theater. I work in a ticket office. For this, what I have adapted is the playbook called, again, the Professional. What they are is they work for kind of a monster hunting organization.

So they're tasked with hunting down paranormal activities in any given area and, you know, taking care of business, whether that's killing the monster or stopping the ghost or finding the werewolf's whereabouts. Whatever it might be, that's kind of what they do. For our purposes, we're saying in this other side of the coin universe… I love that, by the way. …that… The theater at which I work is a cover for this monster hunting agency.

The theater's called the Indiana Players Theater, or IPT for short. But what that actually stands for is the Indiana Paranormal Task Force by, well, by day and by night, I guess, both cases. I mean, because monster hunting doesn't really have hours. No, it does not. As the Professional, what are some things you can do? Really, their whole shtick is acting under pressure, which is kind of one of the major moves. That anybody can do, but they're especially good at it.

Whether that's dealing with combat situations, helping out buddies that are in danger, helping civilians that are in danger. They can slide in, take care of business, and get out, whatever that is. Jake. Yep? Tell us about who you are and what you do. Like me, me? Like my… No. Me outside of the playbook? I don't know. Do you do anything interesting outside of the playbook? No. So I'm playing the Divine. The Divine is basically angel-empowered or, like, God-powered. The shtick here…

The shtick here is that at some point I was working on a Thor costume, and then all of a sudden my Mjolnir was very real and heavy. Because one of the weapons that I get to pick from for this playbook was a Thunder Hammer, and that sounded pretty sick to me. So I have been given powers by the Norse gods. So I am pretty tough, which helps me fight bad things. I can smite things. I can lay on hands. I can soothe. So if I just talk to somebody gently, then they're supposed to chill.

I can chill out. Kind of like real life. Yeah. Listen to that silky voice. And then I'll get some more angel-y things as we go along. I can get straight-up wings. I can… But not wings that let you fly, right? You're just kind of like an ostrich? Yeah. I have two wings that are about the size of, like, a chicken wing. Oh, good. But they're on my full-size body, and they just flap uncomfortably. Like, I don't have control over them. Oh, God. He's like Angel from X-Men. Oh, God.

When he gets his… After he gets them cut off, yeah. He's got little stumps. He's got wings. But they're barbecue boneless on his back. And they're on my back. I'm hungry, so I'm going to grab them. What about you, TJ? What do you do? I am the mundane. And also, the player character that I'm playing is also called the mundane. Aww. Yeah. Pity points. Anyway, my character is basically the everyday sort of guy. Like, I guess you would kind of compare it to Xander in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Ah, nice. Where he just kind of shows up and causes a little bit of ruckus every once in a while, but he also helps out as well. So, I have some powers that allow me to go off on my own. And whenever I do that, I get experience or I can do investigation that way. And then I just am somewhat more lucky. You're like the accidental hero. Yeah, basically. I like it.

And I think the important thing to point out is that TJ is different than NPCs that the players might encounter because the NPCs are truly mundane. But TJ is still a monster hunter. He's not just an everyday average guy. He still can do things that normal people can't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My luck is just a little bit better than most people. So, that helps me to get around things, I think. You're Jar Jar Binks.

I was going to say like a poor man's long shot. Oh. Yeah. That's a lot better. Yeah, right? Nobody wants to be Jar Jar Binks. No. So, in the playbooks, there are also the player histories. You pick a history that goes with each of the other players at the table. This was a little easier since you guys are actually kind of playing yourselves, but at least let's go through them and talk about what ones you picked for each other. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

With TJ is that I'm supposed to protect him. So whatever gave me my powers, part of the duties therein was, hey, TJ is really important to something that's going to happen. So here are these powers, keep him safe. And so that is my history with him is I basically told him, quote, you have a crucial role in what is to come. I am here to guide and defend you, end quote.

When you said that, were they your own words or were you kind of moving like a puppet, like something was just like, you are crucial in something that is to come? I think that that is what flashed in my head when I got my powers and I just recited it verbatim to him. Your deity was just whispering into your ear. It was like, TJ is crucial in the events to come. But mine was just more like, TJ is crucial in the events to come, period. I am here to protect and defend you, period.

And you were saying it over like a paper plate full of pizza. Oh yeah. I brought it up just real casual. We were hanging out. Oh, hey, kind of related. I have God powers and you're really important. Can you pass me another slice, please? And then my history with Tass is they are at heart a good and righteous person. You must help them stay that way, which I feel like is essentially just real life. So it made sense to pick it in the game.

Yeah, I think we need to make a decision on mine here because mine with Jake is that we have worked together unofficially in the past successfully. So in some way, clearly, I know that you have those abilities. And we've done something successfully with them. How about this? We were hanging out and we were walking somewhere and there was a cat stuck in a tree and I was like, oh, hold on. And I smashed that tree to bits with a hammer and I got the cat out and high-fived you at the end.

I caught the cat. Okay. I hit the tree repeatedly and shook the cat loose and you caught the cat. And then we high-fived and we kept the cat. What is our cat's name? I hate every part of this canon. And what about you and TJ? We were friends back in training. Before I was a part of the agency and before I was recruited. And this could be any number of things, which this is kind of part of our real life.

We went to college together, acted together, had all sorts of on and off stage shenanigans, including lots of martial arts training and several other things. So yeah, we've really worked together a lot. Yeah. We're good friends from way back. I obviously don't really know too much about the IPT. I'm not asking you to collaborate his story. Oh, well. I didn't think you would. He was lying. I basically said we're good friends. Tell them if it's from way back or recently.

And I said they're from way back. That's it. That's all they had. That's literally all it is. And I was trying to expound on that a little bit. I'm so uninterested in your guys' friendship, though. That's almost as bad as the threat of you guys wanting a joint cat. Did you hear that? He said almost. And then Jake introduced me to the existence of monsters and it says, tell them how you feel about that, Jake. Yes. I feel good about this. Okay, good. I genuinely didn't know.

I didn't know which direction I was going to go. And I genuinely feel good about this monster hunting for the fact that if this actually happened in my life, I'd be totally on board with it because my life is so goddamn boring. So goddamn boring. Yeah, mine too. Tass, it's been a few days after you have been given the go-ahead to join the IPT, the actual IPT, not the one where you sell tickets to Noises Off. And you get a phone call in the morning. It's Margaret.

And she says, we've got a little problem. I need you to go check out a theater. We're thinking about buying it. And well, we were buying it because it's got a history of supernatural problems. Well, we had to make it look like we were looking at it for the theater. And so we sent in a couple of designers to check the space and see if it would work. And the lighting designer was killed. Oh my God, how? He fell onto the stage. It seemed like off of a ladder and just broke his neck.

So we're assuming that's not an accident. Well, I mean, he was very clumsy. He was very good at what he did. I can imagine someone who spends 50% of their time on a ladder while doing light hangs and stuff like that would just fall off randomly. Okay. I mean, I can go check it out, get the lay of the land. Yeah. The only thing is though, I mean, we haven't bought the place yet, so it's not going to be just open to the public during the day.

So you might need to go at night, you know, jiggle, jiggle, open window, sneaky, sneaky, that kind of stuff. Yeah, that's fine. We don't have anyone that could join you. Do you know anyone, who maybe could give you a hand? I don't know if you can, can you reach the window by yourself? Do you need a boost? I could do fine on my own. Okay. Well then go by yourself. But I've got some friends that might- Oh no, it's too late. It's too late. This is a solo mission now. No, I've got some guys.

Yeah, I've got some guys. All right, good. Well, yeah, there's a little bit of a payday in it for them if they help you out. All right. What's the address? Give me all of the details, the very specific- The Halifax Theater. And it's right on Drury Lane, right next to the muffin shop. So just head on down there, make sure it's dark and sneaky, sneaky. It sounds like she's trying to get you jumped. Oh yeah, wait until it's nighttime and then just try to pick that lock.

There should be a guy there wearing a yellow hat and you wink at him twice. Oh my God. Yeah, absolutely. So I would give a call to my buddy, I think Jake Purley, ring. Thank you. Hello. What's up, buddy? We would have sat here in silence for 20 minutes until that phone rang. I would have waited for that sound. Nothing. What's going on, pal? Okay. So I guess I'm not sure how to- He's what? He's my pal. Okay. Can we not be pals? You guys can definitely be pals.

I don't think I've ever heard you say pal though. What is this, a conference call? Get off. Am I on speakerphone? I hear TJ responding to the things I'm saying. It's very echoey and you hear me peeing into a toilet. I'm glad you clarified into a toilet. Oh, hi Tass. What's going on? Okay. Weird question. Your God powers thing. Yeah. Is this a thing that you're allowed to make money using? That's an excellent question.

They didn't say that I couldn't, so it's better to ask forgiveness than permission. Oh, okay. I like that. Okay. Here's what's going on. So I work for an agency now that hunts monsters. Sick. How'd you get that? Yeah. It's kind of a long story, but that's the deal. And if you're supposed to be keeping people safe and that kind of thing, I could use your help. There is a chance there is something that's hurting people in town and I'm supposed to go check it out, but I don't really have backup.

And I wanted to see if maybe that was up your alley. Yeah, sure. I'd be happy to help you. I can bring TJ along. He needs the practice. Okay. He's doing okay with his stuff? Yeah. He's actually coming along really nice. I keep losing him and then finding him. But well, here's the weird part though. In that time, he has somehow figured shit out. Okay. Well, I'll see what I feel about that when I see it. Okay. Well, yeah, we'll come help. Where are you? I am at the theater. What the- My theater.

You guys can come here and then I'll lead you to where we're going. Okay. See you soon. Click. There we go. Full circle. Is there anything you guys are doing before you leave? I mean, I'm gearing up. I need my stuff. I'm just getting out of the shower. Good. Okay. Yeah. I'll go knock on the bathroom door, I guess. Yeah. What's up? Tass has a mission for us. We need to go fight evil. Should I bring my nunchucks? I mean, I genuinely, I mull it over for a second. I don't know how to use nunchucks.

So I'm just going to have to assume you're learning that from YouTube videos. Yep. As you said earlier, I seem to figure it out. I just go off and do my own thing and I figure it out. Yeah. And you just come back with skills. You watched that Bruce Lee playing ping pong with nunchucks video like a dozen times. I did. And I thought it was the real thing too. It was so well done. Okay. How are you guys getting there? My car. My car that works pretty well. Better than my car? Better than his car.

I don't know why. I thought you were lying. My car that works better than his. There is some shiftiness in your voice. I know that your car works better, but you seem untrustworthy. What's your charm? Two. All right. You know what? I believe it now. All right. Good. So you guys arrive at the IPT. I think I'd be there waiting, ready to roll out. Okay. Okay. Where are we headed? I'll explain on the way and I'm going to lead you out to my car, which is…

Which you guys have seen several times before. It's a haggard looking old thing. Pretty dinged up and kind of rusty and doesn't look like it's in particularly great shape. Tass, you just want to take my car? I mean, it's just right around the block. Nope. Are you sure? I mean, it's pretty good. Nope. Yours is… Just whack. Come with me and get in the car, please. Okay. And as we kind of get in… Okay. So we're pretty sure that something killed a guy. We're looking at this old theater.

We want to potentially take it over to the other side. Take it over as a new place of operation. But one of the guys checking it out was… Well, he died. It looked like an accident, but it just seems very unlikely. So that's what we're going to go do is essentially try to poke around, see if we find anything unnatural, deal with it if we can. Hopefully it's nothing and it was just an accident. How'd he die?

He was up on a ladder poking around looking at some of the technical stuff up in the grids and the balconies and the high areas and just inexplicably fell. Somebody that probably… Probably wouldn't have or shouldn't have. But accidents happen, so we'll see. So what do you guys do when you get there? It's probably about 11 o'clock by the time you get there. You got quite a few hours before it's dark before you could sneak in unseen, hopefully.

I definitely want to just watch, kind of see if there are people coming in and out, any owners of the building or people doing any renovations, anything like that at all, and see if we essentially have anybody that we're going to have to contend with that might still be in the building by the time we want to sneak in. Yeah. Throughout the course of the day, you don't see anybody. Really, IPT, we're the only people that were interested in this space. There's no one going in and out.

They know that the body has been taken away yesterday when it happened. Okay. So yeah, I think we'd just be kind of shooting the shit and watching and… While we're shooting the shit, I'm looking around in the backseat, seeing if there's any cool stuff in a case or anything like that, a la Tim from Jurassic Park, and he finds the binoculars that are like night vision goggles. Oh, gosh.

As you look through the pocket behind the seat and the ashtray built into the door and the pull-down sun visor above your head, things just come out. Shotgun shells, grenades, some very long, what you can only assume are sniper bullets. Dude, you got like a lot of bullets and stuff back here. And you look back and he's literally just holding a handful of like shotgun shells and cartridges, and grenades. I didn't know you did grenades and shit.

I thought it was like, you know, all crosses and crossbows and holy water. Other words with cross in it. Crossfit. Hot cross buns. Crossword puzzles. David Cross is back there. He's cross-stitch. There is a cross-stitch back there. It says, God bless this mess. Yeah, no, dude. Like monsters don't kill themselves. So. Cool. Can I keep a grenade? No. Please. Okay. Well, I'll make you a deal. Uh-huh. No. Please. Have you been watching YouTube videos about how to use grenades? I have not. Then no.

I pull out my phone and I just like start looking for. I thought you were going to say the pin. I pull out the pin. This is mine till I let it go. This is how it works, right? He's just keeping us all hostage. Who's in charge now? I pat TJ on the shoulder reassuringly. It's okay, buddy. You're getting there. I believe in you, but not, not yet. And I gently take the grenade away from him and I put it back where it belongs. In the cup holder. In the cup holder.

Uh, then I take that grenade out of the cup holder and I put it in my pocket. A grenade that isn't really a thing that I'm supposed to have. Why aren't you supposed to have it? Cause that's not one of the weapons I took. Good. All right. Well, I guess you could have let him keep it then. And if it wasn't, I mean, if you love it, let it free. And no, I wanted that. Grenade. We don't let a grenade free. Actually, this is what we call a gimme. So I took my gimme. Yeah, that's fair.

So it gets nighttime. I assume that you guys are going to go out now and attempt to get inside the Halifax theater. Absolutely. Um, what is the situation with like streetlights and stuff? There are streetlights on the outside. Uh, there is an alley on each side of the Halifax theater and you can tell that the lot behind it is condemned. Uh, what do you think boys? I'm thinking darkness is the. Yeah. I say we at least check down an alley. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe go all the way around the back.

I don't know. We'll see what's on the sides. Sure. Let's do that. I'm going to grab a couple of things out from a little strong box under the seat. And what are those things? Uh, one is a 38 that I will holster on my hip. And then I have a shotgun, which I'm going to slip into a sheath on my back. Anything else anyone wants to grab? Well, I've got my nunchucks. And I have my hammer. Oh, and I also have like a little mini multi-tool as well. So if I need to Jimmy a lock or something. All right.

So you grab your gear from the lock box underneath your seat and you guys head across the street. Where are you going? What are you doing? I think we'll head for that alley. Okay. Left or right alley. Is one of them darker than the other? Uh, is one of the alleys named Kirstie? No. That would be the wider alley. It's not darker than the other. I refuse to acknowledge what he just said to me. He knows how I feel about Kirstie alley. I'm going to go down the right alley. Okay.

What are you guys doing? I'm following him unless he specifies a different plan. I believe that he knows what he's doing and I'm going to stick with him. And as they're both following each other, I will also go to a different alley. You're going to try to sneak away? Yeah. Why don't you roll me and act under pressure? Will do. Five. That's with my cool. So with a five, with act under pressure, a six and under simply states that things go to hell.

As TJ starts to peel off from you guys, you're headed down the right alley. He cuts in front of the building to get to the left alley. We see this figure lunge out, grab him and pull him inside. Unbeknownst to the two of you. I get experience for that. You do. Tell us why. Because I have a power called. Don't worry. I'll check it out. And anytime I go off on my own to a scary situation, I get experience. Gotcha. You also get an experience just for failing the role.

Because every time anybody fails a role in this game, you get an experience. That's what I was just wondering. Did you? Did you successfully scope out the scary situation? Or. Well, I didn't know it was scary at the time. So I guess. So we'll give you the experience for failing the role. Okay. All right. That's fair. Point of interest. I also have a power called always the victim. Wherein if I get captured by the monster, then I mark experience as well. Oh, that's fair.

Then you get two points of experience. Okay. He is. Gosh, he gets two experience points and he gets to sit out for a half hour. It's like his dream job. Map. He just took off his headphones. Take it from here, boys. He's laid down in the kitchen. He cuddled up with the dog and went to sleep. So you guys are in the alley. I'm looking for a door. Okay. Why don't you investigate a mystery? Okay. The mystery of how to get into the Halifax Theater. Love it. Seven. So how are you looking around?

Do you have a source of light? Do you have. I am using the flashlight on my iPhone. Excellent. Excellent. This week's episode sponsored by Apple. Oh my God. You guys are not going to believe who's at the door right now. What is the. What was your. Apple. Seven. Seven. All right. So that gives you a hold one. Do you have a question you'd like to ask? I want to see what's being concealed here in the way of the easiest access into the building. Great.

So you see that in this alley down almost at the end where the corner would be turned to go to the back of the building. There is a door that has been painted on to the building. It looks like kind of a piece of scenery that they've painted on the outside, but the door is actually a door. But you would almost miss it if you didn't see the just a little protrusion of the handle sticking out. Nice. I'll try the handle. It's open. Okay. That was easier than I thought.

And then I'm going to look back to my boys. Well, not boys. Boy, you see only Jake. TJ's not there. Where did he go? So I look around and I realize that TJ is gone. Yeah, he's sure not there. And I'm like, God damn it. And then I get struck by lightning. Probably. Gosh, darn it. A little shock. You want a third one on that? No, it's just going to get worse. I think. Gee willikers. It's one direction. One direction or the other. Is it more G rated or is it more R rated? I don't know.

I want to roll to investigate a mystery to figure out where TJ went. Do it. That's a seven plus sharp, which is nothing. That's a seven. All right. You get a hold one. Where did it go? Where did it go? Where did it go? You start to. You track your footsteps back. Just looking. I assume you grab Eric's iPhone and use the light on it, too. I have my own. Okay. Do you keep it near your hammer? That's real dangerous. I think that the iPhone's in my right pocket and the hammer is in my hand.

So you start to track back the footsteps that you have made through this alley. You get your phone out of your pocket and turn the light on. And you realize that as you guys came across the street, you can see pretty clearly that your footsteps go off into the right. And that TJ's start to go left. But then you can see almost like his heels were drug towards the front door. But the front door is closed. I want to try the front door. It's locked. And you guys are in the light.

Just in the sense of you're dressed in armor with a giant hammer. You are now in the streetlights. So there is a chance of traffic coming by and seeing you or, you know, someone neighbor calling the cops. I guess go back down the alley and in the door that I know will open. Okay. And I mean, I'm just telling him like what I noticed. Okay. Looks like TJ got drug inside. We need to get in there as quickly as possible and figure out what happened to him. Okay. Well, that sort of answers one thing.

At least if you said something dragged him in, that's not great. So I'm going to get my shotgun out and open that door. So you open the door and inside it's just really dark. Do you have just a regular flashlight? What's wrong with it? It's so weak. It doesn't go very far. Mine's really good. Really? Yeah. Mine's not. My iPhone flashlight doesn't light a very good area. I got to hold it like pretty close. To whatever I want to actually see detail of.

I feel like all it does is give me away in the dark. Which is what a flashlight does. But a flashlight at least also helps me see things. Okay. I'm going to run out to my car and I'm going to grab a mag light. Okay. And come back. Thank you. You're welcome. I'll take the mag light. All right. Look for lights. Look for a switch. I do that. All right. Roll to investigate a mystery. The mystery of where are the lights? I don't do that, but I do get an experience point. Oh, great.

So yeah, you start to look around. Uh, using the flashlight to try to find some kind of a light switch and you step on, it sounds like a light bulb and you hear this loud pop sound and it kind of echoes through the theater. And all of a sudden you have the sense that it may have been audible just everywhere. Oh, darn. And I'm going to get down and see what that was. It was a light bulb. Oh, okay. Yeah, of course. There's a light bulb there on the ground. Why wouldn't there be? Yeah.

If you look up, you see that there's a couple of lighting instruments and one of them has been torn apart. Someone had laid the pieces out to put it back together. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Got to back around to it. Lovely. Okay. Let's keep moving. Uh, yeah. I want to move in and towards the direction of the front door where the front door would be. Okay. And are you giving up on the search for a light switch?

I will look for a light switch. Okay. Roll it. Oh my God. I get experience. Great. So you're like, God, you're, why, how did you step on that light bulb? Let me find the light switch. And, uh, as you do so you trip over him as he's bent over trying to get the pieces of light bulb. Out of his shoe. And you hit a wall. And as you hit the wall, a door slides open that you didn't quite see. And you see a set of glowing eyes inside looking at you. Oh shit. And I try to backpedal out.

Act under pressure. Whew. Seven. All right. Oh, eight actually. All right. So with an eight, this is our first act under pressure. That wasn't just a straight out failure for act under pressure on a seven to nine. You get a worse outcome, a hard choice or a price to pay your worst outcome. Is that you don't make it out the door and you have to face whatever this is.

Your hard choice is that you can make it out of the door and away from this thing, but you're going to leave Jake between you and it. Or your price to pay is that you can get both of you a couple more steps away, but you're pretty sure that this thing is going to get a swipe at you. I think I just don't make it out. So you start to back up and you realize that there's not a good clean way to get out. And the set of glowing eyes moves closer to you and lunges in your direction as it does.

It appears in the light for just a brief moment. And it looks like a small rag doll figure, but made out of fluctuating, shifting shadow. And as it lunges towards you, you see its fingers get longer and it stabs into your foot. And you realize that this thing can't be more than seven or eight inches high. It must have been up on something high when it was looking at you before. And then it pulls its hand out of your foot and starts to back up and hiss at you. You take one harm. I actually.

I actually don't take that harm. Why? Because all of the agents at IPT, our outfits are retrofitted with armor underneath. How much armor? Plus one. Okay. So you take one less harm when attacked physically. That is exactly right. All right. You see this thing take a few steps back from you. I'm going to hold the gun up, like not pointed at it, but like hand up and then gun pointed at the sky. Whoa. Hey, you're. Cool looking little dude. I mean, you no harm. We're just here to help.

As you say that, you see two more sets of eyes appear in the dark room. Oh, cool. There's lots of you cute little guys. So you hear him saying this as he's tripped over you and knocked over this door. Can I see the eyes? Yes. What are those? I don't know. Why are you so happy about this? I'm trying. I'm trying to put out a positive vibe towards what I assume is a predator.

As you guys are having this conversation and you're watching the eyes in the dark room, you see that they get really close to each other and it almost looks like they combine because the size of the eyes get a little bigger and a little higher and then again. And now you see larger eyes standing at about two feet high. And it's just one set now? Yep. And the hiss is a little deeper. Oh, that's a good trick. I'm going to go talk to my buddy about that. I'm going to do that trick calmly.

And I'm just going to slow. You see the eyes get lower as if it's leaning down to pounce forward. I'm going to throw my hammer at it, please. All right. Roll kick some ass. Damn it. No. That is, oh man, that's a six. That was so close to at least functioning. You go to throw your hammer. What kind of damage does your hammer do? It does three harm, hand stun wholly. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great.

Great. Great. Great. Great. Really. Forward throw. You must have gotten some grease or something on the floor because it slips out of your hand and lands on your head, dealing you two points of damage. Okay. I am going to reduce that by one because of my armor. So I take one harm. And your hammer is on the floor next to you. This thing lunges and swipes out at you. At me? Yes. I don't like that. Can I protect him? No. You've just been hit in the head with your own hammer.

Would you like to act under pressure to get away? Yeah. Okay. I'd very much like that. Roll it. Eight. So again, an eight gives you a couple of choices. You can either not get away because you're going to block Jake from this monster. You can dive out of the way knowing that the creature will most likely hit Jake. Or you can get out of the way, but you're pretty sure that if you do, it's going to hit that stand of lights and make a whole lot more noise.

So if there's anything else in this building, it's going to know you're here. I am going to start to backpedal and realize that I know. No, I'm not going to make it and just brace for it. All right. So this thing lunges out and it swipes at you again. And you can see that it is indeed about three times larger. It's got these large yellow eyes. And again, it's got this skin that almost kind of looks like fluctuating, pulsing shadow.

And the fingernails come out and slash across your stomach and you take two harm. Oof. So I get to reduce that by one, but still. Okay. Ow. Okay. I think that I… I take that hit and I kind of stagger back and I see Jake is what, on the ground now? He's bending over to pick up his hammer. I don't think I am. I don't think I would bend over to pick up my hammer.

I think if I got hit in the head with the hammer and the thing went at him, I think I would just try to punch it in the face like real hard. Oh, God. Do you have a damage for just your… Yeah. My smite counts. I do two harm. Oh, I see. Unarmed. Okay. How does smite work? Tell me about it. It is just… It always counts as a weakness against the monster I'm fighting. Any attack I do… I do against a monster counts as its weakness. And if I don't have a weapon, then I do two harm.

That also still counts as a weakness. Okay. Two harm, intimate hand messy with unarmed attacks. Great. Roll kick some ass. Yeah, boy. That is a 10. Great. So choose one extra effect. I think I just want to inflict terrible harm. And that does how much more? Plus one. So a total of three harm on this thing. I think that I just really… Like, I see it going after my friend and I just blast this thing. It's hard. I'm going to try as hard as I can. You wind up. Your fist glows a little bit.

And you hit it for three harm because you're doing just extra damage to it based off of its weakness. It grabs onto your forearm, giving you two damage in return, but actually only one damage. Because of me armor. And as it's hit, it splits into two much smaller versions of itself. Pick a dance partner. Okay. So I see them split. Whichever one is closer to me, I'm going to level the shotgun and pull the gun. And trigger. Roll it. Okay. Oh, yeah, boy. Oh, but it is still technically a nine.

Oh, no. Yeah. And what is your shotgun's descriptive verbs? Oh, yes. The descriptors for my shotgun are three harm, close, messy. So you pull your shotgun out and you pull the trigger right in its face. It slashes out at you and does two damage, but you can see that it stops moving. And it actually starts to melt into a puddle. Oh, my God. I think I got one. TJ, you're walking towards the alley and you pass the door and you get this weird sensation that you're being watched.

And before you have the opportunity to return and see what's going on, you feel yourself being pulled into the theater. You're left inside the door, but you don't feel like you're being held anymore. You're just in this dark room. And it's completely dark. It is completely dark. I'm going to pull up. My phone light. I hope you're all keeping track of your battery percentages. A hundred percent. Except whenever, you know, I use it during the day. It's at like 14 percent.

Probably because I've been sitting in that car all day. So, yeah, I pull out my phone light. I check my battery. It's probably about 14 percent. This isn't good. So I'm going to investigate this place that I'm in. Where am I? Yeah. Roll investigate a mystery. Yeah. All right. Nice. That would be an 11. Great. So you get hold two. Do you have two questions you'd like to ask? I do. Where did it go? The thing that drug me into this particular part of the theater.

And what's the other question you might ask? The other question. What sort of creature is it? You start to flash the light around and you see this figure on its knees inside of the lobby. And you see the light from the door. You're flashlight almost seems like the light from it's being absorbed. And you see that little puddles of this shadow are dripping off of this figure. And they're kind of popping up into these little doll shapes and running away. They have these little yellow eyes.

You can see them running deeper into the theater. And with everyone that comes off, you can see more and more of the person underneath. And the shadows start to disperse entirely into a pool around this person. And the figure looks up and it's me. And I'm breathing. I'm breathing heavy. And I am panic. And I say, TJ, you have to help me. And the shadows reach up, grab me and pull me back into the darkness. And now you're in the lobby by yourself again. I'm going to try and go after you.

Roll act under pressure. You're going to try to chase through the darkness. Okay. That ain't bad. Ten. Excellent. So you do exactly what you want with a ten. You follow this trail and you can kind of hear me talking for just a brief second. But then it's gone. And it's just this odd growl. So as you run along, you got your phone out. Still at 14%. Not bad. You'll wrap this up in 13%. I'm sure. You're chasing along. You've got the light up.

And you see this creature on hands and knees just sprinting through the theater up onto the stage. And then it leaps up into the grid. And so you're standing amongst the seats. And you can look up and you can see this thing crawling around inside of the grid. Oh, shit. I need to get up there somehow. Wait a minute. This would probably be better if my friends were with me. Damn. Okay. I'm going to look around for a way to get up to the grid. Roll read a bad situation. That's not as good.

I got a six. So you think that the best way to do it is there's a rope hanging down the side of the stage that you can see is tied to the light grid. And you think that the best option would probably be to old school gym class. Climbing. Climb that rope into the grid. Okay. Oh, my God. For those of you at home, read a bad situation. Let's them know the best way to do things on a six or less. Their intuitions lead them wrong. I'm going to test the rope first. Great. Tug, tug. Yeah. Seems solid.

Pretty solid. All right. I'm going to start to put my full body weight onto it. Yeah. It stays. Okay. I am going to. Oh, this is a bad idea. Oh, God. I'm such a fool for doing this. You know what? I'm going to try and climb the rope. All right. Roll. Act under pressure. I think you're having some panic thoughts about what it was like to be in elementary school and climbing the rope and the strange sensations it gave you. It's making you panic. No, nobody wins. I'm with you. I'm with you.

All right. Not Jake, though. No. That was act under pressure. You said. Yeah. I got a 10. Excellent. So you, man, hand over hand, you got your feet pushed together. You slink your way up this rope in the darkness. Nothing seems to be a problem. You got up there without issue. Am I in the grid? You are in the grid. Am I like on a like a platform or is it like a gangway or something? There is a gangway. Okay. All right. I'm going.

So there's a series of planks laid across the bars of the grid for technicians to walk across just in case anyone out there is like, what do you mean a gangway? Is there a pirate ship up in the group? I am going to follow the gangway. This is pretty high. You're going to make your way across. Again, it's dark. You still got your battery. It's still a good solid 14%. Give me another act under pressure to get across this grid and essentially to the lighting booth that's at the end of the grid.

Oh, okay. Oh, not good. Oh, not good. Not good. Oh, but man. That's sweet. Sweet experience. Oh, no. You're going to level up the second you hit the crowd. What was that role? That would be a four. You start to make your way across the grid. You feel something scuttle under one of your feet and you pull it up to try to get away and you topple sideways out of the grid. I'm going to try and grab for. Try to grab for purchase. For purchase. Roll it. Oh, God. Oh, God. It is a. Seven.

You lift your foot and you start to fall sideways. You try to reach out to grab a hold of some of the lighting instruments or some of the pipes, anything to stop you from falling. You realize that you're going to be able to catch yourself on the rope, but get tangled in it. Or you're going to be able to just barely get a hold of one of the bars enough to change your trajectory so that you fall into the seating area, which may be a little less painful.

I'm just going to go ahead and go for the rope. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. You fall and you try to get a hold of the rope. And as you go down, it starts to tangle around your arms and your legs. And you find yourself jolted to a stop, hanging upside down, swinging above the stage. And below you is one of these little shadowy creatures with glowing yellow eyes looking up at you curiously. Jake. I think I'm still just punching it. Okay. Yeah, boy. Twelve. Great.

What is your extra effect? I'm going to suffer. I'm going to suffer less harm on this one. All right. Your fist knocks it back to the ground and it starts to turn into a puddle. Hell yes. I step backwards away so that the puddle doesn't get on my shoes and I pick up my hammer. Okay. Well, that's new. Uh, whoo. What the hell? So you guys both step back and you see this little pool and this other little pool. And as you watch it, they start to move away from you.

Like the pool is just slowly dripping away. Okay. Uh, can I like set my hammer? Yeah, you can set your hammer in the pool and use the stun part of its abilities. Are you doing that? Yeah, I would like to try. I want to try and shock this shit, see if it conducts electricity. So are you setting the hammer down on it? Are you trying to hit it and stun it? Uh, I mean, I'm not, I'm not like letting go of the hammer.

I imagine like reaching out and touching the puddle with the hammer, with the head of the hammer to do what you want to do. You got to hit it. And if you're just setting the hammer down, I don't think that it's going to do damage or stun. You know what I mean? I guess kick some ass then. Okay. But flavor-wise, I don't want to think about it like taking a mighty swing. I want to think about it like reaching out and using, trying to shock it. Okay. Is that fair? Sure.

I just like the look in my head and snake eyes. Oh, good. I'm getting shocked, aren't I? So you gently start to poke your hammer towards this pool. And as you do, you realize that you've stepped further into the dark room. Oh, no. And as you touch it, the puddle comes together and reaches up and wraps around the hammer and pulls it out of your hand and starts to slide it away. I need that. I want to try to grab it.

So Jake, you lunge forward to grab a hold of the hammer as it's being pulled away. And you realize that as you're in the air, it's starting to move away faster and faster. You're just able to get your hand through the loop and grab hold of the handle, but it's pulling you. And Tass, you see Jake's feet vanish into the darkness. And then nothing. The Crit Show is a Crit Show Studios production edited and produced by Brandon Wentz with music by Jake Purley.

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Spout Lore is brought to you by listeners like yourself if you want to check out more stuff or give us a support go to www.pat I'll start over it sounds like a fucking alta vista ad hi if you want to support Spout Lore go to www.patreon.com Spout Lore now the round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tuck is the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight fingers half healthy shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might billy's a thief you hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Spout Lore playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers hello there playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz hello and playing fat billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai hello when last we left our heroes they celebrated a job well done after freeing leader of the daydreamers pellin guaranteed corbin from the clutches of the demon of ambition returned to the stray dog yeah after our intervention for drugs we wouldn't got hammered I just noticed that's awful good intervention everybody let's all go do cook in the bathroom we earned it and upon returning with the stray dog they were told hey you know just come hang out if you want billy slept under some rugs while tuck and ving went upstairs and got absolutely plastered uh playing a game called scribbles that I'm not sure they actually understood the rules of I understand that tuck lost 98 gold coin we on average between us last 50 on average each of us lost 50 gold I want that on the record that's like a that's a fortune that's an insane amount of money uh but it's gone now but I had the potential to make 98 gold coin and so if you think about it I couldn't afford not because we would have been basically losing 98 gold coin if I didn't at least try to win 98 gold coin that's a great way to think about it for sure it's a great way to feel better so I ended up losing 98 gold coin yeah there it is uh and we saw a quick montage of the process of blacking out uh tuck and ving played a song on stage at the stray dog thereby divulging a number of secrets to a crowd that was hopefully as drunk as you were yeah shia stopped us yeah shia stopped the song from continuing and uh tuck awoke the next morning in a barrel of pickles and ving awoke in a sack on a coat hook billy woke early in the morning and had a great night's sleep and uh scrubbed around in the street the story of the stray dog finding a secret compartment containing amongst other things a teddy bear belonging to jake the jackal that he stole and now has the stakes have never been higher billy is fairly certain there's something inside the teddy bear but he hasn't investigated further because upon being caught by jake the jackal and thrown upstairs the party was greeted by none other than shia the garden snake who revealed that yes she has been uh manipulating the jackals and various other parties in mccall to maintain order of the upper ward uh you learned that indeed the gin third is on some sort of vigilante rampage and you learned that perel left for a morning walkabout to quote unquote scout ahead and definitely get his ass kicked yeah and through a series of investigative techniques discovered that he was apparently pursued from the line outside of a brunch restaurant into an area of the city where he was being held in custody for a night's sleep and kidnapped taken to the sticks itself the shanty town built on the edge of the cliff of cliffside and down the face of the cliff of cliffside surrounding the monumental mccall lighthouse upon spotting what appeared to be a guards person of some sort go into the top floor of a shanty you pursued finding some sort of I'll conceived misdirect in which you were tasked with going up only to go back down to a catwalk hanging underneath the cliffside village discovering a hole in the cliff face itself leading to some sort of chamber and on the rock wall a single orange flower ooh some cup it's rose that is where we find our heroes now wait billy does your do you think your wicker cat could find more of these like your willow wisp maybe here I'll try it but first I do I have to roll for fairy child for today yes because you haven't yet yeah it's like the morning basically so I roll plus charisma and I got eight plus two is ten sick that means I get five holds today what yeah that's a lot so feel free to uh be freewheeling and fancy free with your fairy child moves nice so now I'm gonna make a little willow the wisp I don't have to roll for it right nope you can just create light at will okay yeah so you create a little oh so I did yeah sorry my bad sorry there's usually like a sound or something well I it just is on the ground I mean I make the sound I just didn't this time so I've got my little willow the wisp kitty a little wicker wicker the wisp um and I I lift it up to the flower does it do anything it sniffs the flower for sure and you hear it make like a little chirping trill sound that actually sounds like a bell ringer ringing because it's not a cat cat so it makes like a little bell ringing sound when it purrs can you find more ring ring I don't know what that means that means yes uh it like when you put it down it sniffs at the air and walks around in a circle and just curls up all right that means nap time everyone so I get on the ground too I and just to uh just again to paint the scene you guys are basically at the bottom of the room and you're like oh my god I'm so tired of this the bottom of a staircase and billy is now napping on a five foot wide catwalk that is hundreds of feet above the lower ward yeah it's a thousand foot drop down to like the salt statues exactly yeah you can see the tops of the heads of like the former uh prophets of fire oh man yeah this is the highest well being asleep is probably the safest possible position for billy so all right let's all roll to go to sleep I'm not asleep I'm not asleep I'm not asleep yet you guys I'm just following the teachings of the ancient one this little one here billy now that you're like laying on the ground you're trying to get into the get into the mindset of your will of the wisp the wicker the wisp uh you think that maybe that just means that there aren't any other compass roses nearby okay then that maybe this is a signal as opposed to the beginning of a breadcrumb breadcrumb trail did you say breadcrum no I didn't say anything I said breadcrumbs breadcrumbs breadcrumbs breadcrumbs and starts walking ahead of you.

And this dark stone tunnel that looks like it was definitely hewn into the stone. Again, Tuck, quite a tight fit. Most people aren't your size. You're at a bit of a hunch, but you can walk straight on. Okay. Yeah, but there's just this like yawning stone portal, this tunnel going into darkness. There's no light sources except for the sun behind you and the wicker cat. And the axe. The axe. And the axe. My crystal. There's a shit ton of light sources in this tunnel.

But what I'm saying is there, okay, yeah, there are no light sources outside of your light sources. Our glowing bodies. Yeah. Holy shit, I can barely see because it's too bright in here. I've got light sight. Somebody turn one of their lights off. So are you guys just heading forward? Yeah. Should we discern reality? Is it Trap Expert? Oh, Trap Expert. Might be a good idea. Might be a cue I was trying to give you. So Billy's embarrassed and he's being, extra vigilant. Whoa. Nice.

He is being extra vigilant. Yes, he is. So I got 10. 10. Damn. Yeah. So three questions off the Trap Expert list. Is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? There is a trap here, yes. Okay. It's a simple trip wire. Okay. Like there's a hair thin trip wire four feet in front of you. All right, so I stop. What does the trap do when activated? You, get down really close. You're like peeking at where the wire is connected to. Yeah. And you don't see any obvious mechanism in this tunnel.

Like there's no darts or blades or whatever, but you see that the wire continues further down the corridor. So it seems like it would be some kind of alarm. Oh. And what else is hidden here? A thing. You notice in the wall there are various idols. Crude. Yeah, they're crude, like crude drawings. Yep. No, it's a, it is, it's crude depictions of the elements. They look like dicks and boobs and vaginas. And they're all in various states of undress. No, it's like very simple elemental designs. Yeah.

Just kind of covering the inside of this tunnel. These are old. Some are older than others. Ooh, what do they look like? Anything you can pick out from that? I'm only picturing the elements from fifth element. So straight line for earth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Thing what you would notice is that they seem you're like man I have seen these before because the events that led to your shape-shifting being taken away are kind of a blur I feel like you probably blocked a lot of it out but you realize that some of the magi had tattoos very similar to this and there's uh little burnt piles in front of each of them and the burnt piles are reminiscent of like he can smell them deep old old scent of a scent that is disturbing and he recognizes yeah it's an herb that they use during the that they burnt during the ritual yeah cool oh these sorry really quick the carvings are like um pestles like a mortar and pestle they're set they're set in little holes oh I see what you mean like little clubs they can be removed cool interesting yeah so it's like kind of yeah ceremonial objects yeah yeah actually that's kind of neat like you see these little carvings in the stone and it is like bowls yeah and pestles like set into the wall whoa cool yeah that can be like slid out yeah yeah creepy yeah all right step over this line everyone very careful okay and tuck does it without intentionally tripping the tripwire which is his immediate instinct whenever he sees a tripwire oh I gotta trip this wire it's just begging to be tripped billy's like don't do it I'm not gonna do it billy and uh you go a little bit deeper feeling the like weight of the stone above you the immensity of the earth on either side do we hear like foot traffic or anything above us there is actually a point where you get close to a part of the tunnel that looks like it was bricked up a really long time ago and you hear people talking on the other side can we listen in yeah yeah yeah you can well I mean honestly you don't even have to discern realities it's idle domestic chatter oh there's houses on the other side yeah like it's just people being like oh we should go down to the market there's pretty good like you know they have some good cuts today so we're kind of just like under and inside the walls of the city I wonder if they could hear us yeah because I bet there's like such old structures in mccall that like it's like everyone's just like I live in this like box and it's my home and I have no idea what's on the other side of this wall exactly like you can hear water running it like through a certain part of the wall like you're just kind of inside the city cool yeah and uh again super dark like you know billy like seeing the scuffs on the floor people have come by here recently but uh you don't see any light you don't hear any sounds besides just domestic life bro whisper bro hell yeah shit are you guys actually calling no no not now we were until you said that um yeah you can you can carry on it's again it's like darkness mystery who knows what's down there do we do we need to do a perilous journey can we just keep walking you can you don't have to do a perilous journey you could do a discern realities if you wanted more info what is it plus wisdom okay good uh okay I can't believe that throughout the course of this game tuck has gotten less educated like it's taking knowledge has seeped out of his brain and he's like oh my god I'm not brain yeah I guess for everyone that's not a patron we can now move around our stats and I moved a stat out of intelligence into charisma giving me a minus one intelligence but I'm gonna discern realities okay yeah with wisdom 26 plus wisdom try to fucking find our fucking uncle nine uh yeah so you get one question off to certain realities um what is useful or valuable to me okay um so you can see all the light is like mixing from all of you like you have amethyst light you have like bright sunlight oh no I'm sorry I was using my crystal you have a moss hand I was using crystal in my chest like a headlamp on my chest yeah yeah oh so you just like open your shirt and there's a crystal in there yeah and vings pecs are fucking popping yeah yeah they were but I've been kind of laying off so they're also a little drooping I've got actual some pretty juicy boobs right now yeah popping down yeah they pop at least up until the point that it becomes like uh craggy and calcified and then changes into a amethyst geode in the center of your chest yeah so all those light sources are mixing in a very beautiful kaleidoscope and you see now that the tunnels get a little more twisty here like they're more naturally worn over the eons and further ahead on the right hand side you see a another hewn doorway and you hear what sounds like because it's so quiet down here now breathing ragged breathing oh weird uh fuck can we peek around the corner like alvin and the chipmunks surreptitiously yeah you could all try and stealth up there okay sure do you want to roll for decks yeah you're all gonna roll for decks because you're all going okay are you gonna douse your light sources in any way three eight nine okay so you walk forward hello hello hello and you peek your heads in and the door goes into a chamber that it looks like has a very high ceiling this chamber is much much larger and you realize that this is even you guys being under here spatially you can tell that this is more in the direction of the lighthouse so this seems like it's actually under that structure so it might be a little bit more of a part of the lighthouse but the ceiling is very tall and very wide no lights again and in the middle of the room in a chair with ropes around his wrists and ankles head lolling to the side is perel no my no perel sorry I yelled but maybe that's your failure you run in the room yeah that's maybe it I see perel and I'm overwhelmed oh you just say something or do you go into the room I probably run in there to untie him this is fucked up he's beaten up uh yeah I'm not beating up him he's been knocked unconscious okay yeah I run over to tuck wait uh yeah and tuck rushes forward and billy your danger sense goes off you know the second tuck crosses that threshold uh something above is going to crash down blocking his way out I rush in after I want to dive in too if we're all going in this room I'll hey I'll let you all go in the room that's for sure yeah perel tuck billy it's a trap I feel like billy's danger sense I think would mean that he'd be able to act before the thing closed I think ving's gonna have to try so 2d6 plus dexterity being okay I'm gonna try and run in and um like slide in like um india jones under a collapsing door totally nice oh yeah no problem 10 yeah get right in oh he does it on his knees and the door is coming down and he limbo's all the way back and uh this huge iron gate swings down and slams and is locked in place with a mechanism set into the wall how big is the room we're in the ceilings are very high 60 or 70 feet and the doors are really tall the doors are like 40 feet high there's a door behind perel a giant chamber yeah this seems like it's a giant structure yeah which makes sense if it's the lighthouse yeah and perel is yeah in a chair tuck runs up to perel and he kind of like smacks him to try and wake him up is he wearing a hat uh no no hat he's got does he have a mustache on nope no mustache man things are bad uh and you slap him around a little bit and he like snorts awake talk perel why did you wander off oh no you shouldn't have followed me what happened tell me what happened as you're saying this lights flare in each corner of the room like there are flames just hanging in each corner of this chamber like hanging from chains or floating floating individually like balls of flame are floating in the corners and uh three figures covered in the air and they're like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die like tattoos depicting the elements walk through the huge door behind perel uh ving is really freaked out he's seen these tattoos before in his vision like coming and going and yeah because of that whole situation he is he's a little cagey I would like to shoot first yeah okay oh my god how dare they yeah so what's coward so what's billy doing yeah I'm just mad I guess so I stick my hands uh in my pockets where I had some just daggers like jangling about and I throw two of them yeah so you're gonna roll um volley so 2d6 plus dexterity oh no it's so bad oh my god wow uh okay four four okay wait damn oh resist I'm going to yeah turn a failed roll into a seven to nine with one of my fairy child moves right oh it's so cool it's pretty cool it's perfect too billy uh roll your damage so roll what is it a d8 or something one the lights flare like these flames flare in the corners of the room the figures walk in and billy just throws two knives immediately and uh the figure at the very front who's covered in the most tattoos like the most dense and elaborate of them as one of your knives flies right towards this man's face he puts his hand out and flicks it to the side and a gun is fired at him and he's stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck That's a huge.

Okay, so you kick this chair. You kick Perel at them, and he sails through the air. The one in the front is just recovering from Billy's knife, and he lifts his hands up in front of him, and bricks come out of the ground, and he tries to create a little shield before Perel hits them, and he crashes full on into all three of them. They hit the ground, but it looks like they've diverted a lot of the actual damage that that would do to them. But for a moment, they're on the ground.

But Ving, one of the younger Medjay to the side with slightly less dense tattoos, kicks a leg out at you, and a little gust of air travels along the floor and knocks your feet out from underneath you, and you land with a thud on your chest. Oh, no. And he knows that he's out-elementaled, that I'll send up my harpoon. Okay. I'm going to go for that younger guy who tripped me up. Okay. So.

So you're going to have to, like, defy danger dexterity to be able to get into a decent position from the ground to throw your harpoon? Yeah. Or I can leap over across a physical obstacle. Yeah, totally. You could get right up on them. He does, like, the leg thing. Yeah. Up like a tornado. Yeah. And then harpoon. Sick. Whoa. Nice. Ten. Ten. Perfect. So you get to deal your damage. Great. Three. Three. Well, lucky for you, these ones are, these are just, like, acolytes or something like that.

Like, they're not full on. So you're going to take this one out. Are you killing him? No. Okay. I threw the shoulder into the wall. Okay. So you threw, like, the blunt side. Oh, you're nailing him to the wall. No, spearing him to the, yeah, his harpoon to the wall behind him. So he, like, kicks that air blade at you and gets up on his feet as you do your tornado kick into the sky. Your harpoon comes shooting out and jabs him right, like, not even just in the shoulder, like, part of his chest.

Yeah, in the meat. Yeah. And hits him right in the wall and he cries out and passes out from pain. So he's taken care of. Billy. Yeah. Full on fight. Ving just took a dude out right away. What are you doing? I run and grab that dagger that the, one of the magi, like, deflected. Mm-hmm. And is it possible that I can grab it and basically, like, hold it up to one of their throats to get them to talk to us or stop fighting?

It might be more than one defy danger because you want to go get the dagger. Yeah. And then you want to get to the, so 2d6 plus dexterity to get to your dagger. Nine. Okay. Ooh. And then I roll again. Oh. Huge. Shit. 13. Okay. You just start, like, sprinting. Well, what sprinting looks like for Billy? It's a lot of, like, tumbling. Yeah. A lot of rolling around. Yeah. Yeah.

So you're rolling around and you run towards your dagger where it's been sent to the other side of the room and the other younger magi that sees Billy, you running, punches forward from where he's laying on the ground and sends a bunch of shards of the brick that the older one used to block Perel. Uh-huh. And these shards, like, whip towards you. Roll a d6. Five. So, yeah, you take five damage as a bunch of these razor-sharp shards of stone just kind of slice you. Like birdshot. Yeah.

Got it all over my cute little face. More freckles. Yeah, maybe it slices it too much. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if it's true because you're carrying the teddy bear on your back and you're like, no, teddy! You turn around. You turn to protect the slow motion.

It's basically like you get your knife, you roll, you grab your dagger and it's this series, like this is a series of cuts basically as he's like punching shards at you and you're kind of dodging out of the way as you run to him and you jump on him, get around his neck and hold the knife to his neck. Yeah. Stop what you're doing, everyone or I'm definitely gonna kill him. That's why it's a 13. And you know what?

The older Magi, as he's like getting up, he does this really cool thing that I'm pretty sure I saw in a movie or Avatar or something where where he's laying on the ground, he slams his fists into the ground and he pops right back up on his feet. Well, he looks like a Dracula. Yeah, kind of. Like the earth pushes him back up to his feet, but he is standing there for a second. He sees Billy with his knife at the guy's throat. And he's like, and is like, he means nothing to me.

Is this the leverage you have? Do you value your own life? Mine? No. Whose life do you value? Because we'll find them and hurt them bad. All life is forfeit in pursuit of balance. Balance? What? What balance is this? And he gestures to where Perel was before he kicked him and then he's like, oh no, this. What balance is this? You look at what, you know, you did, you did this. He's getting angry. Like he looks bad. He's like, I have heard that you are fools and japers.

I will not listen to your buffoonery. Forfeit yourselves and we can speak. You forfeit yourselves and then we can speak. He, you can tell, Tuck, you've been in enough fights that you can tell he's getting ready to throw another punch. He's not having a fun time with this. So unless you want to roll something to force him, you've got leverage now that Billy's like, I'll fucking kill this kid. I don't care. Can I parlay? Yep. I want it because I want to try and use bamboozle.

I haven't used that yet. What's bamboozle? On a parlay with someone on a hit, you also take plus one forward with them. Cool. So what are you saying to this guy? I'm just like, look, dude, chill out. Let's talk. And that little raccoon won't slice your friend's throat. Seven plus charisma. Yeah. Is 10. I think I fucking moved. That point from intelligence. Yeah. Minus your ongoing one. Shit, nine. Someone help me. I mean, Billy's in a pretty good position. I'll help. Eight. All right.

So that makes it a 10. Again, Tuck having social experience with people. And now that you're, for some reason, more charismatic and more adept in social situations, you can tell he was kind of bluffing when he was like, kill him. I don't care. So he does lower his guard. He's still very tense, but he lowers his hands. And Tuck, like, scooches forward and grabs the wreckage that is Perel and he pulls him back over to him. And he puts his hat on Perel's head. Oh, that's nice.

I'll let him go, but you have to open that gate because that's a little creepy. And if you want to talk to us, I want to do it willingly. And maybe outside. Yes. The Medjay looks at you and when you say, let us outside, he laughs shortly, gruffly. Ha! You will not be leaving here. Wait. I feel like I got a, I won that. Yeah. Probably. Mm-hmm. So I won't attack you. Okay. Let me roll again. No, hold on now. Let me continue speaking. Wait, I have a plus one forward against you. Yeah. Suck my dick.

No, that's not what, plus one forward. Holy shit. He sucked the shit out of your dick. It's a shame you wasted that because I asked, I didn't ask you to roll. Okay. Sir, what is your name? Ving, you, you, there's a memory flashes to your mind. You remember this man. He was present at the ritual that took your shape-shifting. Oh my God. What is his name? Roth. His name is Roth. Roth? Okay. Yeah, you know his name is Roth. He's just like, Ving, it's nice to see you again.

I say facetiously, I thought that once we had robbed you of your wasted and abused ability to take any form you chose, that you would cease being a thorn in the side of the world. But now I find that you three had been traveling in the company of a wizard this entire time. What do you want with us? Why did you take Perel and beat him up? This is like embarrassing to do. He's so weak. One such as him is too dangerous and too powerful to be out in the world. Wandering. Unattended.

And tuck gestures at Perel who is semi-conscious wearing a cowboy hat, a torn Hawaiian shirt, and netted swim trunks and tevas. Mm-hmm. Him? Looks are deceiving. Power is not always what you view, what you perceive. So your job is to remove power from the earth? The way of the Medi is to maintain balance. And I suppose the balance is that you have power in Noah and everyone else does. The ones that can be trusted with power are fit to wield it. And who chooses those people?

The ones fit to choose. Classic. And who is that? You're being very cagey for someone who literally lured us in. And put us in a cage. Yeah. How do you think traps usually work, little one? Or should I say fairy? I know everything there is to know about traps. So you should know that when you are trapped by one seeking to maintain life, you are trapped by one seeking to maintain life. And leverage over you, they will not present you with every detail that is asked of them.

Well, then I will make you. Whoa, that's hardcore. Yeah, actually. What can I do? I don't, like, what does shadow dance do? That's the teleport move, isn't it? No, it's the one that allows you to like leave your body, like become a shadow. And go into the spirit realm. Right, so I just got this move. So shadow dance is I slip out of the body, I slip out of the body, I slip out of my physical body and into the fairy slash shadow realm.

And with seven to nine, I get one hold to do something in there. And on 10 plus, I get three holds. Yeah. Okay, yeah. I'm going to try shadow dance because Billy's so mad, does not like this whole situation. I'm going to use one of my fairy child holds and roll wisdom. See if I can do it. Okay, two to six plus wisdom. Seven. So, what does it look like for Billy? And what does it look like for everyone else when he does this? I push over the dude that I've got the knife to.

And I like take a running jump at Roth and my fairiness slips out. So Billy's body just lands with a thud. And you just see like a shadow like leap onto this dude and like flitting around. Okay. What does this look like for Billy? It's like, like a rage, like tunnel vision almost. And it's like, he feels like light all of a sudden. Like he doesn't feel so heavy and encumbered and his vision like opens up and it's just like mist and shadow kind of like where he was before.

And he sees, you know, the shadows of like being in talk. But the magi, like Roth and everyone, they're like this like weird, like twisting shadow. Cool. A bit more solid than that. And he sees like. Because they exist in this realm more than standard people do. Yeah. Like it's a lot of like the elements and the animals that they kind of control. But it's not the same that he's seen in Ving. Before Ving, like his form was very like solid. It wasn't shifting all the time. It was very pure.

But the shadows for these magi are unsettled, as he said. And just like, and like writhing a bit, like it's, it's really, it's really uncomfortable. Yeah, totally. And Billy, you can see. So the, the one thing that I'll editorialize is that you don't see any animal spirits. Okay. What you do see is pure elements, but you also see stuff like lightning and like all these kind of, at least. Okay. So in Roth, you see a mixture of elements.

You see fire, like torrents of gusting air, like earthquakes, mudslides, all that kind of stuff. And then in the one nailed to the wall, you see his shadow, just like a roiling tornado. And the one that you slammed into the ground, you just see like turning earth. It's very confusing for Billy to look at because you're in the ferry right now. Yeah. But you're also seeing that these are phasing into the ferry and you're, you're catching glimpses of their forms in the spirit world.

And it looks like these elements are like looming above them. And they're almost like tethered or chained to the physical bodies of these men. It's almost like slices of these things. Yeah. Exactly. Is it like, this is a genuine question. Is it like the part of their shadows that the elements are tethered to? Is it the tattoos on their arms? Oh, that's cool. Yeah. And they go up in the pattern of tattoo and the pattern of the tattoos. That's really cool. Yeah. Sweet. Yeah.

So that is what you see. So what's Billy attempting to achieve with this? Basically, I want to like find out what it is that they want. Cause he knows that from being that these are Druids, of some kind. And did these spirits give themselves over willingly or were they taken? Oh yeah. Sick. The chains speak a lot. So I will accept the spent fairy hold to kind of intimate this information.

Cause it's not really a fairy thing to like draw thoughts out of people, but you're kind of, now that you're pure fairy for this minute, basically you're gaining a lot of information very quickly. You get the distinct feeling that these spirits are not serving willingly. They've been like bound to these people and you can tell that the, like the air spirit exists in Roth and also in the one nailed to the wall. And you can tell that it's parts of the same spirit. Like it's not individual spirits.

They're all like grabbing pieces of it and trying to chain it individually. That sucks. Yeah. It's not great. Um, yeah, that's the feeling that you're getting off these spirits. As a, as a, as for what they want, I'm not sure Billy would get much of an insight ideologically into what the Medjay, but Ving would kind of know this is that they are very much about balance. Like it's, but it's the idea of like, everything is great. There's no good. There's no bad. It should always be gray.

You know what I mean? Like both should always exist. Yeah. Well, they're fucking hypocrites then. Cause why are they trying to kill Perel? That's part of the, like, well, wizards have a lot of power. And they could upset that balance. I don't like these guys balance that they think they hold exactly or steward.

Uh, so yeah, Billy, you get this like very uncomfortable feeling cause you can feel something very similar to when you, um, encounter another fairy that like beginning of individuality because they're being bound to other forms, but they're not quite reaching that full individual potential. So it's really uncomfortable for the spirit as well. I mean, possession. Yeah. Cause they didn't want to be there, but they're still acting as like one spirit. Yeah. Of course.

And the tattoos are definitely the mechanism that's keeping them bound. Yeah. And to have them kind of tethered constantly is not in tune with the way these spirits work. And something that'll get you because this is a hard move. Yeah. Is you think given enough time, not instantly, this would eventually kill the Medjay as well. Whoa. Like this kind of spiritual imbalance. Yeah.

This spiritual turmoil combined with the stress it must put on their bodies to try and manipulate the elements would kill them eventually. Cool. And I, Billy is feeling that very fairy thing where he's like, given time, he would slip away into the fair world. So he looks back on like tuck and thing. And then it's just like, he's just like back in his bod. Yeah. He just wakes up like, and Roth is standing there. Like, was that supposed to do something? And I laugh. Ha.

You don't know the powers that you wield. You idiot. And that shakes him for just a second. I see what you hide. Hide. You know, nothing of me. Fairy. A real Druid is given these powers from nature on their own terms. And you've taken them against their will. You wear them like a badge on your skin. It shackles you. Yeah. Yeah. I can see you getting angry. Get angry. You little bitch. He's, he's getting very angry.

And text just, I guess, hyping these two because he doesn't know what the fuck's going on. So he's just like, Oh, Oh, you got smashed Roth. Uh, and he looks at all of you and looks at Perel on the ground and says, a wizard is bad enough. They are the weight that upsets you. You are the one that sets the scales on the balance of the world. And you, he points at Ving were their successor.

Your power was unearned and it was destructive and given free reign, you would have brought the spirit world down. None of you can be allowed to leave this place. You are the crest on the destabilizing wave of the world. And I will end it today. I'd like to see you try. He puts his hands on his chest. He says, puts his hands to his side and he's like very well. And you see electricity start crackling between his fingers. Tuck throws the ax at his head. Okay. Uh, seven plus dexterity.

Uh, no, I fucked decks. Are you serious? That's straight. You're throwing, you're trying to hit him. He throws it really hard. You're trying to hit a target. Oh, can I change that to, uh, now I'd like to point out that you have rolled dice already. Okay, fine. Plus decks. I failed. So what'd you get? Did you? I have zero decks, but I have a minus one. I'm going. So it makes it a six. Yeah. Can we help? Yeah, I'm going to Gus to win the ax. There you go. Two to six plus bond nine. Okay.

Um, so you throw the ax at him and uh, everything slows down for just a second. The, like the electricity is crackling in his hands. You see him bring them to the center of this chest. Whoa, and build like this, uh, He's a dookening. Yeah, this, this turning ball of electricity and he extends his arm to unleash a bolt of lightning and the ax it's, oh, it's going off course. Oh no. What have I done?

And Ving, just as he sees what his friend is attempting to do, punches in the air and a puff of wind swings across nudging the ax back on target, but not enough to hit Roth squarely. There's a ton of air coming up. There's a ton of air coming up. There's a ton of air coming up. There's a ton of air coming up.

The axe like instead of being discharged into all of us it just discharges into the axe and arcs into the ground yeah yeah split the ground oh yeah yeah what I was gonna say is that like it's he's not gonna be able to hit you but what I was I like the discharging into the ground but it's like a huge release of energy so there's like yeah cracks the ground and like these rents in the brickwork travel up the walls like chunks fall down and you have a second where he is like I a little bit cooler than that but like chunks of the ceiling are falling out there's dust and rock everywhere so you have a second act before he can get his footing under him it's a real you want me to put the hammer down kind of moment yeah totally exactly I want to bring seems right I was gonna element or elemental yeah just we open ourselves to a catastrophe but I don't think it's gonna happen because of the anger and the righteousness of this act uses those crumbling rocks around them to bring them down with a good amount of water I want to like maybe fuck him up his electricity yeah where are you bringing the water from like where would you be trying to bring the water from deep oh yeah deep under oh so from down like yeah yeah totally you first just kind of bubbles up around his feet like where the cracks formed yeah yeah to the six plus constitution plus my constitution is a seven on seven and nine choose one I want to retain control okay so what you wanted to happen is not going to happen the effect you desire does not come to pass and I don't avoid paying nature's price okay cool that's kind of embarrassing for you to be totally honest given the context of the situation yeah this is basically you guys are trying to take this opportunity to escape or get the upper hand and as this earthen work was coming down and you're trying to pull the water up you realize that like maybe it's the destabilization of so many elementalists in the same place that the spiritual energy would just make it too destructive too unpredictable so you're just holding it off you're like okay here we go nope never mind never mind close the door so what is nature's price oh maybe nature's price is that one of the other guys dies oh you drown one of the other dude drown one of his dude the guy that's like hammered into the wall yeah or the guy that's yeah that's on the ground head smash on the ground yeah as the the the water's filling up through the cracks and widening the cracks on his feet this man falls into a fissure at his feet whoa soundlessly doesn't make a noise yeah and he's gone uh yeah and you do retain control so it's not like this whole room's coming down but the fissures are wide they're filling with water roth is getting ready to uh make another play basically what are you all trying to do um I'm trying to get perell untied oh yeah no problem slice slice slice you got a rope and also he was tied to a chair and tuck destroyed that chair right yeah is he awake he's waking up now yeah it's been pretty hard for him not to I guess can I like try and punch roth out um yeah you could well you can try and get past him for sure punch out might be tough but you can definitely work on it should we try and like duck past him and run yeah so he's bringing those rocks crumbling there's water everywhere yeah guy's gone he's freaked out a little bit yeah he's trying to maintain control of the situation when I bet it's harder for him because the elements don't want to be there with him yeah especially with the thing here like then you know that it's not quite the same relationship for you yeah so they're like fighting against it basically yeah yeah like with a true elementalist in play it fucks up their whole thing because the elements that they have are tethered and it's kind of like hey why are we tethered in that he can just let it flow all right yeah let's go I grab the guy out of the wallet and I carry him out by the harpoon I want to bring him with me oh my god that's gonna hurt him a lot yeah I'm sorry I'm sorry I've pulled this it'll help okay um and somebody's grabbing Perel I assume tuck is grabbing pro yeah so I think you're all gonna have to roll to get out of here okay so tuck how are you getting past Roth he's just like Hulk runs at him okay so with Perel yeah he puts Perel in front of him okay to pull Roth down yeah just to make sure Perel's dead if I can just drink so it's a nine yeah okay which means a week and a yeah oh we like join in on the juggernaut that is tucked to put more weight towards running at the guy yeah and I have the guy also on the harpoon in front of me so I have like two people yeah plus bond seven and that makes tucks thing a ten I'm comfortable making that so it's easier for all of you to get out of here sure because tuck just shoulders Roth like into a wall basically yeah down on the ground and you're just running into the darkness of the lighthouse you're running into tuck a mythic construction that has existed in the city of McCall since before it was a city and we're running through like water that is rising right yeah like it gets less deep the further you get in because it's like rising from the fissures in the room behind you but basically you run out of the room you were in down a relatively short corridor if you were a giant slightly larger because you're normal sized people and then just cavernous absolutely massive open air walls arcing out around you in a circular shape and a massive spiral staircase curling up the walls into darkness so we're in the main kind of tube wow duck knows a lot about architecture let's go up head for the light oh is there like a light shining at the top of the yeah very very high up uh-huh um I've created my wicker the wisp and she's running up ahead of us lighting these stairs that billy is devastated to see are like two feet tall just like I just cling on to I think ving is the closest I cling on to his boot and wrap myself around his leg that works for me you!

So roth is gonna be hot on your heels once he gets his shit under him um oh can I try fairy dust yeah totally so uh yeah roth comes running out behind us and he is just steps below like maybe like another story below us up the stairs and I'm I'm hanging on to ving's leg and I try fairy dust okay I don't want him following us what's fairy dust again um basically fairy dust I just wrote fall asleep great yep I'm sure there was more to it than a hat yeah let me see if I haven't written down I'm sorry it's not on my news sheet and uh it's just a falling sleep spell right um okay so fairy dust roll plus charisma to put people to sleep on a ten plus choose two seven and nine choose one okay whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa I am so charismatic so this is a 13.

Ha ha ha The choices are it affects a group of people. They stay asleep for a good amount of time. You can do it from a distance. Okay, I can do it from a distance and they're going to sleep for a while. Okay. So yeah, Roth like comes skidding around the corner, like water kicking up behind him. And it looks like he's actually using the water to move faster. It's like, it looks like he's skateboarding. He looks like Disney's Tarzan. He comes around the corner.

He puts his hand on the ground and his feet kick up behind him on a wave of water. And it starts like the water curls up the wall and he starts like sliding up the staircase behind you. We're so fucked. It looks pretty cool. Juicy fruit and pops in his mouth. I want to establish that Roth is very cool. So Roth is, is he ripped? Because this last move makes me think he's ripped. I thought he was like a kind of like a scrawny, like evil vizier type of person.

And they're gross looking, aren't they? He is, he is a, he is a vizier type. Like Roth is young. He's a vizier type of person. He's a vizier type of person. Actually, Ving, you describe Roth. Uh, yeah. Uh, and he, um, a long hair. In a, in a braid. That's what I was thinking too. Yeah. Yeah. Long hair. And he has black fingernails. You were saying? Yeah. They all have black fingernails. Oh. Like digging in the dirt. Yeah. They're a little bit long. Like, not like witch long. Not talons, yeah.

But like, you know, like creepy guitar player long. Oh yeah. Gross. Um. Also they're like dirty with like earth. Yeah. There's earth and, and like smolders and stuff under there. Sick. Stry, like striations of stuff in there. Yeah. Are they clean or dirty? These, them. Uh, except for the fingernails, they're very clean. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Meticulously clean. Yeah. I think he's probably pretty scrawny. Like he's a very thin, borderline malnourished guy. Whoa. But wiry. Yeah. Really wiry. Veiny.

What are they dressed like? Uh. I'm imagining a dark robe, but that might just be because he's an evil vizier type. Maybe that's too much. Yeah. Tasteful belt. Like a nice. A tasteful belt. That's where you're starting. And billowing out of the belt at the bottom. It's like, uh, you know, those, uh, big pants that kind of look like a skirt so you can move around really easily. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, no shirt. This shows off their tattoos.

They have to be, uh, so it's like a cloak with, uh, pants, like a two layered cloak. Cool. That starts at the, at the waist. And no shirt. No shirt. Cool. Yeah. And like, kind of like short, short sleeves so you can see their tits. Oh, no sleeves at all. Oh, no sleeves. I like that. Okay. And a hooded cloak. These guys like. So sick. So funny. They do look, their style is interesting, but kind of cool. Yeah. Yeah. They're kind of like background people in, uh, Mortal Kombat. Yeah. Totally. Yeah.

And this is the person you see chasing you up the staircase on a wave of water before Billy turns around and. And I open one of my hands and all this like glittery dust puffs. Puffs. Down. Upon. Upon. Roth. Uh huh. Um, and Roth comes to a halt. It's like stumbling onto the stairs and the water falls back down to the ground and dissipates and he's asleep. Sick. Tuck runs down and grabs him too. And starts running upstairs. Interesting move. Two prisoners. We could tie him up when we get up. Sure.

Wherever we're going. Right. Yeah. Do you think that ropes negate spiritual ability? Okay. Yeah. Maybe you're right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You just tie his shoelaces together or something. Yeah. Our Tug just ties his shoelaces together. Draw a cock on his forehead. And then he farts in his face and he runs away. Great. All right.

Roth is going to stay asleep for a good while, which means that you can hustle up. You can explore if you want to, or you can just make the trip to the top of the lighthouse. I just want to run up and find somewhere to like kind of hide and question this other magi. Yeah. Can we get out and on top? Yeah. I mean, hard to say. You'd have to go to the very top. Let's go to that. I feel like that's a pretty intense place to question somebody. Yeah, it kind of is.

Dangling them over the edge with their ankles. And Billy's like, you know, I mean, personally, like pretty already high up. So like, I'm good whenever you guys want to stop. Whenever you want a break, I'm super happy to take a break somewhere like low down. So Tug opens his backpack and he takes a baby Bjorn out and he like straps it to himself. And he's like, Billy, do you want to ride in here? Did you double? Not that? Yes, I did. Okay, then sure.

I slide Billy into the Bjorn and I cinch it tight. Yeah. Perfect. So you're good. Are you going all the way to the top? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Defy danger constitution from Tug and Bing because it's very high. I can't remember the exact number. It's like a thousand feet. It's like the CN Tower, basically. Yeah. It's what it was built by giants. So it's like it's giant sized and like giants were really good engineers. So like they were able to build skyscrapers, basically. Yeah.

There's buttresses all the way up. Twelve. We got twelve. Nine. But I have a minus one. So I have eight. Okay. So, man, Tug being hung over is totally fucked him today. Oh, yeah. And as you're walking up the as you're making the trip up the stairs, how long do you think it would take to walk up a kilometer long staircase? It usually takes like two or three hours to walk up the CN Tower. Holy fuck. Yeah. Have you done it? No, I've heard other people do it. Yeah.

Oh, so that's about how long it takes. Ving, you feel great by the time you get there. Tug, you get pretty tired and your hangover gets worse and you have to drink some wine like of the wine that you have. Yeah, I'm going to drink wine wood. But the first bottle that you drink has no effect besides keeping you baseline. Okay. Can I drink another bottle? Yeah. You're drinking two bottles of wine. Oh, no. Back to the hangover. Okay. Things like jogging the spot. Backwards. Like, come on, buddy.

You can do it. And Tug is literally sucking back a bottle of wine being like, okay, just give me a second. Hold on. Maybe try water. Throw it off the side of the stairs. Yeah. Smashes it against the wall on the other side. Yeah. Seven plus three is ten. So that's the Constitutional. Yep. You use about halfway up the tower. You were drunk. But by the time you get to the top, you've burned it off. Yeah. Billy's ringing out sweat. Not from him. But from Tuck that absorbed into Billy's clothes.

And he's like, this is disgusting. And you come out on to the top of the McCalla lighthouse. There's a massive piece of sunstone set into the very top with beautiful designs carved into it. Wow. Oh, like what? It's spherical. For one, it's been carved into a sphere. It reminds you of the statues that you saw in the tomb. It's like depictions of. It's like depictions of individuals, giants. It seems like it's one giant repeated many times. And it looks like they're hammering.

They're like building a mountain. They're building a mountain? Yeah. Can we Spout Lore to see if we know anything about this stuff? Yeah. Well, I wouldn't have to Spout Lore. I could just do bardic lore. Yes, that is true. Oh, sure. Oh, cool. Yeah. This is a depiction of the giant creator god. Whoa. Yeah. So this piece of sunstone tells the story of the progenitor god of the giants, whose name has since been lost, building the world. They think a giant built the world? Yep. Wow. That's so cool.

Yeah. There's a depiction of the giant hammering a mountain of them basically cooking the sea, making the sea, kneading clouds out of star stuff, that kind of shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And playing like some sort of woodwind instrument to create all of the animals of the planet. That's cool. Yeah. Other cultures have the breath be the life, but theirs is the music.

Like the vibration of the breath. That's really cool. Is it super bright up here? The sunstone is pretty bright. Is it bright all day? Like the lighthouse, is it on all the time? Yeah, I think so. So I guess it's fucking bright up here. You come upstairs and there is a sun three feet from you. Yeah, I'll bet there's like just stairs down to a lower platform that isn't just like fucking crazy bright. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, you can go down to a platform that skirts like the entirety of the top.

And you're just looking out over the entirety of McCall. It's a restaurant that slowly spins around. Yeah, there's a couple whose barrage is clearly on its last legs having an anniversary dinner. I thought this would work. This isn't working. Harold. There's a jazz pianist. Yeah, I know. You just see the entire city spread out before you and the desert and the salt flats and everything. Wow. And the man hanging off of things harpoon for the last couple hours starts to groan.

I've taken it out and I'm patching it up with one of my poultices. So we're outside. We're not inside the room anymore. No, you're outside on like this skirt, this platform that's in circles, the top of the lighthouse and the whole city is spread. Okay. And you see the salt flat below you. Oh, wow. Billy's getting like the shiver me timbers. And in the distance, you see the Alcoly Desert under the noonday sun.

You see an enormous sandworm just crest at dune and you hear its song lilting on the wind before it dives below the sands. Oh, yeah. Let's all describe a moment of peace that we see from this vantage. You can see like the ocean from here, right? Yeah, I think you can see slivers of the ocean. Like on the other side of like whatever salt plain exists. Yeah. Yeah. So Billy is using his binoculars because he sees in the ocean like a ship coming in and he recognizes it from the principalities.

Oh, what ship is it? Is it the Clearwater? The ship from Mudlark? Half of the ship. That was like embedded in the ground in Mudlark? Oh. It is the Clearwater and it's been rebuilt. Oh. Oh. Shit. Wow. Okay. That's where we're going to end it for this week. Damn. There's a lot happening all right now. I've been your Game Master, Sean O'Mara. Joining me as always playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Take care, everyone. Playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long.

And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. Thank you as always to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. Incredible every time. And we'll see you next time. And thank you to our Patreon supporters, supporting us from all over the place. If you want us to support the show, you can find us at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or at Spout Lore most places on the internet. And if you feel like helping the show out, maybe give us a review on iTunes. It really helps us out.

Have a good night. Or I'll see you next time. Bye. Whenever you're listening to this. Whatever. See ya. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3, who tried the best they could. Though dumb and scared and lost, they never found the way. For times abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore.

For more of the gooey goodness that you love from Spout Lore, come on down to speltlore.com slash money please where we'll redirect you to the Patreon and then donate there for the more of the thing that you like. Did you say gooey? Yeah. That's not bad. That breath was worse than anything else you said actually. Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes. Noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed.

Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round friends and listen close, for the tale's about to start.

Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers. Hello there. Playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz. Hello everybody. And playing Fat Billy the halfling. Hello everybody. Hi everyone. Hi everyone. When last we left our heroes, they were investigating an upstart group called the Daydreamers at the behest of Jake the Jackal.

After running into old friend and ne'er-do-well Colonel Dan Fossey, finding out that he's been in town up to his old tricks, they decided, you know what Dan, nevermind. Good to see you, bye bye. And then they made their own plan to infiltrate the Daydreamers, a group of spiritually connected criminals. Criminal types. Mm-hmm. And upon infiltrating as a televangelist and their spirit guide companion and their dumb barbarian butler. Yeah, Frankenstein type character. Yeah. Lurch. Exactly.

They met a Daydreamer brother, Dubert, who introduced them to Pell Guaranteed Corbin, the leader of the Daydreamers and a dwarf very spiritually unwell. After some perception shifting and ghost root smoke imbibing, Billy was able to determine that where Corbin thought he was being punished for a connection with a vengeful spirit, he was actually in the process of being possessed by the demon of ambition.

And they were able to cast that demon out with a combination of quick thinking and tea steeping, marijuana and tea steeping. Yeah, it was basically just like we just kind of prescribed him. We basically pretty much shutting down their operations, thankfully for good, completing their quest in a roundabout way, but still completing it. And that is where we find our party now at the stray dog pub, which we open on now. Yes.

The stray dog is a little bit quieter than it was when you were here earlier, but still a good number of folks. And you see Perel in the corner hunched over a table with a few other jackals. Yes. Yelling. What? And they're holding their hands up in the air and they're yelling and then they go back down and they are really quiet. It's really tense. And they go. Are they playing a game? What are they playing? It seems like they're playing some kind of game. I would like to look at what game it is.

Uh-huh. Totally. Can I discern realities? Yeah. Discern realities? I got a six. Tuck is blind. He went blind from jerking off too much. Can we aid? Yeah, absolutely. Nice. 2d6 plus bond. Oh, pretty good. Whoa. 12. Holy shit. Yeah. I ate him so well. I'm like, just open your eyes. Talk. You're not blind. That does work pretty good. Billy crawls up on my shoulders and then he does this in my eyes of his eyelids. He's like, look better.

And then Tuck realizes he was looking at one table to the right where another scrawny guy in a big fake mustache is reading a book. And you're like, that's not Perel. Oh, wow. So. You guys tell me what game of chance they're playing. Ooh. I don't know. There's like a little spinning thing. Oh, like a top? Yeah. Like a dreidel. Uh-huh. Oh, I bet there's like little stones inside or marbles or something. And you want to like hit it in like cups.

Oh, so it's like there's a bunch of cups on the table and you spin the dreidel? Yeah. To get the ball to hit these like certain cups. Ooh. You get it in the goal. You're like, fuck yeah. So the marble's inside the dreidel. You spin it. And then the marble flies out into a hole. Into a hole? Or into a cup? Yeah. Oh, okay. I was just trying to think of like beer pong. Oh, it's like a beer pong kind of thing. Yeah. That's great. And they're all getting like plastered. Yeah.

Because every time somebody knocks a marble into, like a marble flies out into a cup, they down that cup and everybody else cheers and they go, ah, man. Oh, the cup is full of alcohol. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And Perel is losing. It would look like. He looks sick. Like he's got his head on his hand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, oh, hey, it's my friends. I'm done. I quit. And he grabs a bunch of coins off the table. And he's like, this is fine because I'm not playing anymore.

And he gets up and he wanders over to you guys. He knocks into a table. A guy spills his nachos. And he's like, I'm so sorry. And then he walks up to you. How did it go? It was, I don't know, weird, dude. Yeah. It was weird. Weird. Weird afternoon. They stopped making the drugs. And seemed like they were packing up when we left. Great. That sounds like a thumbs up weird. We've had a lot of thumbs down weirds before. It was kind of in the middle because it might, there might be a bigger problem.

Oh. And that problem is I lost your hat. I'm he's sober instantly. I'm sorry. You lost what? It wasn't my fault. There's a big gust of wind in the hat shot away. It almost took Billy with it. Yeah. It was all we could do to save him. Can we do a flashback to this thing happening? The hat happening. So. So it was when the coin shattered and created that vacuum out the chimney and the hat also went and I was like, it's gone. It was so tight on your head that you were sucked up with it.

You were like the hat. You were above the hat and the hat was blocking the chimney. Keep it on Billy. The hat just, you see it float through the night air over the neighborhood, land on the street corner. Who knows? A dog picks it up and runs away. A dog picks it up. Puts it on its own. Puts on a fake mustache. Okay. Perel. It's with nature now. Okay. I'm willing to forgive you, but only because I just won a ton of money. What's that game called? They kept calling it scribbles.

I don't know if that's the official name or just what they call it here, but scribbles. Anyways, do you have business? Can we go? We have to talk to Jake. Okay. Yeah. I'll come with. Yeah. He follows you down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like one of those big spools that they put like huge ropes around. Yeah. But it's empty and he's using it as a dinner table. Yeah. And he's eating like a piece of meat. Nice. Really nice.

Like it's like an old, it's like an old mobster. Like he puts the meat in his mouth and he sees you and he's like, my friends come join me at my table. Why are you doing a dwarf accent? I wasn't doing an accent. I had meat in my mouth. Come sit down. And he snaps and some people bring you some food. Why don't you hang out upstairs? It seems more fun upstairs. Yeah. It's, you know, it's an image thing. Like I can't really be, I want an air of mystery between me and the rank and file.

It is way more fun up there, but you know, I'm the boss. So I got to stay down here, man. Lonely. Anyways, how was, uh, how'd it go? Everything good. I assume that everything went well. I mean, it went, I don't know how well it went, but it looks like they're clearing out of the area. Great. That's exactly what I wanted. Yeah. Yeah. There's, uh, the situation's a bit more weird and fucked up than you originally thought, though. I think. Oh, all right. Cause you elaborate.

You're being kind of vague. What do you know of demons? I'm familiar with the concept. Well, the thing mostly that was bothering the leader of the daydreamers was that a demon was trying to possess him. So we had to get rid of that. It might be a good idea to just like, I don't know, keep an eye out for like some demons. Uh, uh, possession, weird things. Yeah. It might be happening like a lot more now that the torch is kind of out of commission. So if you can like, I don't know. Oh, saffron.

Have you? Yes. Have saffron on hand. You need a bunch of saffron. Do you have a, Oh, I just need a bunch of saffron. That's all. That's all I need. Wow. Fuck demons. Really shit. Okay. Um, thanks. I guess for your help. That's great that you're able to clear them out, man. Demons. Do you know Shia the garden snake? She might have a line on a bunch of saffron. Why do you ask? Cause she might have the saffron. Why are you being so weird, Jake? I mean, you're being weird.

You're asking me if I've, if I've, if I know somebody that I've never heard the name of, what are you talking about? You worked for shot. You, she hired you to toss our apartment. What do you, what do you talk? What are you talking about? Terrible mob boss right now. Okay. Jesus fucking Christ. Took like clues in it. Then he's like, Jake has a crush on Shia. No, that's for sure. What's happening? I don't even know who you're talking about. He's blushing so hard.

Oh, the blush talk told me to watch out for that. That's how you know that you have adult feelings about somebody. All right. And he reaches under the table and he grabs his dog mask and he puts it on. Do you have adult feelings for my sister? I don't. You're, you're what? You're allowed to just by the way, he lets him go. You're allowed. I do. Just so you know, she's her own person. And he, he pulls his dog mask back up. You're related.

I mean, if you, if I did know this person, that's cool that you have just dropped the act. Okay. Yeah. I have been working with the garden snake. She contacted me straight up, like, which was surprising. She just approached me. No disguise at all. Told me who she was. Let me know that things were about to get really bad. And, uh, she's been helping outfit me a little bit. I don't know how she just has a shit ton of money. She's been dressing you.

I mean, yeah, this is new, but she didn't buy it for me. I bought it with her money. How's the pattern of her tattoos? Yeah. It's like snakes coiling up his, up his front. That's really funny. If we're like, she's been giving you this stuff. Cause like your whole thing is dogs, but all your new clothes is snake stuff. I don't know. I'm trying to diversify a little bit. I guess it's fun. It totally has a crush on her. It's fun to mix patterns anyways. Yeah. She's cool.

Um, so that's kind of how we got control of the sticks. We keep the light guard out, which is a blessing. Cause Holy crap. Those dudes were really fucking stuff up. Yeah. What was going on with third that he just like punched through a house and then killed a bunch of people. That's just rumors. I haven't seen it, but yeah, from what I can tell, if people kind of get out of line, if criminals get a little too, uh, bold, he takes him out from what I can hear. And it's, it's bad.

Is he still working? With the light guard? Your guess is as good as mine. Like I don't work for the light guard, so I don't know, but he's been alone from what I can tell every time he goes out. Creepy. Yeah. And very few people see him. He tries to make sure that his comings and goings are unnoticed. He looks at tuck. Everybody at the table looked at me. All right. Nice way to leave money on the table. Uh, anyways. Yeah. So you needed some information. I'm happy. I'm happy to give it to you.

And now that I know that you're related to Shia. Yeah. Put in good. It feels like we're related. You know what I mean? What? Whoa. I mean, no, it's nice to talk to you, bro. It's nice to meet some people. Yeah. Uh, it gets, it does get lonely down here a little bit. Um, so yeah, you were looking for unusual individuals. Yeah. Information on the Magi of town. Uh huh. Yeah. At the Magi, they're super secretive for one. So we're pretty sure that this is them. You know what I mean? Pretty sure.

But, uh, some people were seen just kind of setting up in the shanties, like next to the lighthouse over the cliff. And they were putting up like torches, like sconces and nobody was taking them down, which is weird because usually nobody wants fire anywhere near those houses because they go up so fast. But if you're looking for the Magi, that seems like a pretty good area. The one thing that I do know is that we haven't seen any people going in the front door. You know what I mean?

So they've, if they're in there, they've got some other way in. So, but yeah, so that's what we know. If there's anything else I can help you with, you know, let me know. But, uh, that's what I got. I'll bet you. Thirds Cummings are pretty thick. Holy shit. The whole time. The whole time. That was hilarious. Uh, yeah. So that's what he tells you. He's like, are you just going to go right there? Is that your plan? Oh, I'm so sleepy. Yeah. I would love to have a nap. Do you want to stay here?

Or do you want to go back to your room? Or do you want to go back to your room? Or do you want to go back to your room? Oh my God. I would love to stay here. Can I sleep on that rug? Billy points at a stack of rolled up rugs. He's like, yeah, we're going to move those. Like we're trying to sell those. But if you want to sleep on the pile, I guess you can do. Um, so I thank him for dinner and I go wedge myself into the stack of, of rugs. Nice. Uh, tucking Ving.

I'm going to go upstairs and hang out for a bit. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And Ving. Yeah. Yeah. That's upstairs. So Billy's just being tucked in. Oh yeah. I've already tucked myself in. Nice. If that's okay. Oh yeah. Totally. Jake is like, do you want me to unroll one of those? No, I like it like this. All right. Billy's lying underneath a bunch of them with just his face peeking out. Oh yeah. This is nice. It reminds him of being inside like tree trunks from when he lived in the woods. Yeah. Uh, okay.

So are we like, is there a thing upstairs that you guys are trying to do? Yeah. I was going to just hang out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's lots of stuff going on upstairs. It's again, people are, you know, it's actually now that it's later, it kind of picks up a little bit more because people are coming off like patrol shifts and they're just coming to get a drink and some food. So is there live music tonight? Uh, yeah, there is.

And it's, people are not into it because it's like one person with like a standup gut bucket base, like one of those wash basins with a broomstick and a string. And they're just like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. That's it. Over and over. A jazz. Yeah. Yeah. You see, you see somebody walk up on stage with a hat pulled low over their face, snapping in time. Oh, you can tell they're just about to start singing. And then I, I lean over to Ving.

I'm like, this nerd is going to get beaten up for sure. And they get up there and they're just like, is that McCall? It's nothing. Let's, uh, let's just listen for a while. Yeah. Uh, he goes up and puts a dollar in his hat. He tips his hat to you and he lights a cigarette. You know, this one's for all the lovers out there, out there in the sticks. Life's hard out here on the streets, the streets of McCall. A one, two, three, beep, as I poop, beep, buzzer pop, tuck yells, but it's real words.

But, boo, these, are, words. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. I've made up my own words to express my feelings. And those feelings are sadness. Ba, boo, ba, boo. Why did you leave me, Janine? Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. I swear I was gonna do. Ba, ba, ba, all the things. Ba, ba, ba, that you asked me to do last week. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. He didn't finish his to-do list. And he goes on for a while. He lists a bunch of, stuff that Janine asked him to do, that he kept forgetting to do.

And he said he was gonna do it. And at the end, he's like, but now I'm not gonna do it. Ba. Wow. The defiance in that song. Pauses for claps. All right. That's fine. Gets to. And he gets off stage. And now there's no music. People are much happier now that there's no live music. Yeah. Should we try and talk to some of the, jazz players? I was gonna say jackals, but yeah, sure. Okay. What's up? Hey guys, am I, if we play around with you? Around, the what? Oh, this game we're playing? Yeah.

What are they called? Squiggles? Zazzles? Scribbles. Okay. You never played scribbles before? No, I never played scribbles. How do you play it? You put a marble in this top, and you spin the top, and if the marble shoots out of the top, into a cup, you drink it. Huh. Are you trying to get drunk, or are you trying not to get drunk? That's up to you, my friend. Okay. There's also a betting component, that's kind of complicated, but you'll get it as we go. Ving, how much money do we have?

Like a, a hundred gold coin. Let's bet it all. Ving says, knowing that they have 120, but didn't want to bet it all. Well, isn't that nice for you, because the fee to sit at the table, is a hundred gold coins. That's the buy-in. He's looking at all his friends. Uh, yeah, right. Okay. Nice try. You're right, it's two coins, sit down. Okay, I'll, I'll pitch in two. Alright. I'll pitch in 98. Whoa, okay. Big bank. Now we're playing, now we're playing Zazzles.

So, each of you is going to roll, 2d6, flat, nothing. And then what happens? Uh, if you succeed, you will double your money. If you get a, uh, seven to nine, you will lose half your money, and be really hung over the next day. Okay. And if you, uh, lose, you will lose all your money, and actually take a minus one ongoing. Alright. Hmm. Can we cut back to Billy for a second? Billy is under some rugs. How's he doing? He's good. He's asleep. He's having a dream. What's he dreaming about?

He is having a dream about mirrors. Oh. Oh. So, what's happening in the dream? Uh, mirrors is going to sleep. Hmm. And, uh, you see him in a, uh, comfortable, if rustic, room, with a comfortable, wide bed on it. Uh, and he's taking his, like, prosthetic off, and he's, like, rubbing his stump. Aw. And, uh, I thought it fused with his hand. Yeah. He can still take it off, but it does, it works like a hand when he does it. Oh, wow. Cool. Best of both worlds. Yeah.

So, he takes it off, and it, like, goes into rest mode, basically, and he puts it on a little stand, and he's rubbing his stump. And, uh, he looks happy. He's, like, smiling. It feels like, it looks like he had a good day of, like, activity. And, you look at him, and you're like, man, he looks a little bit different. Like, he looks a little, a little taller, a little fuller, just, like, a little more grown. Yeah. And Francis is sleeping. He's sleeping on the bed, and taking up most of it.

So, Mears has to, like, shove him aside a bit, like, move over. Uh-huh. And you see him, like, settle into bed next to Francis, who shifts over, so Mears can get in bed, and then goes right back to where he was. So, Mears is like, oh. Uh, and just before your brain settles into, like, the void of sleep, it feels like you make eye contact for, like, just half a second. With Mears? With Mears. Ooh. And then, sleep takes you. All right. And we cut to Ving. Oh, you're gonna roll.

Yeah, let's see how this goes. Come on, scribble. Two to six flat. Over the fence, and under the shoes. Look out, thing, I hope it don't lose. Oh, nice. Plus what? Flat. Oh, no! Eight. Eight. Fucking fuck! So, Ving loses one coin, throughout the course of the night. He wins and loses a lot. Oh, God. But at the end of the night, you're, like, one coin, and you're, That's not bad. You're pretty, tipsy. I think I did, okay. And tuck his leg, uh, over the garden, and under the hose.

Look, look out, money, here we goes. Shit. Fuck! You said, goes to your money. No. No! What'd you get? I got a four. Oh, my Lord. Four. So, you lose, you get, absolutely, waxed, by, uh, by that jackal, that you were talking to, whose name is, uh, Leekhole. And he's, like, counting coins, and he's like, you know what? I'm pretty thirsty. I didn't get a drop that whole game. Uh, fuck.

Leekhole, when, when you're doing stuff with the money, can you do, like, nice things with it, too, for other people? Yeah, what are you, what kind of guy do you think I am? Of course I can do something good with the money. Don't worry, I'm gonna get myself a nice new pair of slacks. And also, get them pleaded, because it's, it's nice to have extra room in the front for equipment and stuff. Yeah, you know what? That's a great idea.

And also, I do make charitable donations throughout the year, so there will be organizations that will be, uh, benefited by this, but also Leekhole. Have a great night, boys. And the rest, the rest of the night becomes a blur for both of you. Like, at one point, we cut to Tuck and Ving, who are on stage, uh, playing music, and you can hear Tuck go, uh, listen. Can you guys do a, uh, we do do the Allison song. You do Allison. Those are the hits. Because they're going, Allison.

Yeah, it's like a foggy, uh, soggy bottom boys kind of thing. When you start playing Allison, they're like, no fucking way. These guys. But what's the song that precedes Allison? Um, is it a shanty? Is it about, is it a song about going to lunch? I think it's maybe like a song, this is us on stage. This one is our number one, number two. So number two song, which means it's the second song we've ever done together. Get ready to record it. Everybody. Here we go.

FTT from the top one and two and a three, two, one. Boom. Boom. Yeah. Boom. Walking down the street. Like my name's McCall and I am feeling really tall. Feeling like my name is Tuck or something. And I'm trying to find the song. There's a guy There's a guy It's legal. Legal records? No way. You're talking. You were supposed to record a song. Shut the fuck up. Sorry, I interrupted your thing. I meant to do… I meant… This is what we're saying on stage. Yeah, I just wanted you to do more…

I just thought it was chorus, musical breakdown, then my chorus. You do your chorus. And then we do the… Okay, you do the thing. We'll just pick it up from the people who got me. The people who got me. Boom. Hi there. Big guy. Hi there, big guy. I'm walking down the street next to my friend. Big mother me. Look at him. From his head to his feet. Look at him. Ever get beat. He's a big mother tougher who never gets lost. And he's always done a thing with the other guy, me.

And our little buddies, we're sleeping in clouds. Those are rugs. Boom. Cha-cha. Cha. Sleeping in rugs. Those are rugs. Cha-cha. Cha. Sleeping in rugs. And those are garden snakes. Name is Shia. Uh-uh. And she lives in… Everybody starts cheering. And there's a delmation. And also we live in the library. And there is a dragon in the library. Also before that, we were in the sea of graves. And we stopped an evil dick monster from releasing the dead moon. And we also met the patron of sailors.

And before…

It was mostly uh hanging out in a resort and the coronet was happy yeah somebody uh swathed in uh linens with a cloth like a scarf around her face and a veil on her head just walks up and pushes tuck off the stage and goes hey these two everybody have a carry on with your night carry on and the last thing uh you both see before you absolutely black out is shia pulling her scarf down and going what the fuck are you doing holy shit it's you what is up and then blackout big black suit mid high five false face first on the floor we cut to the next morning tuck you are uh rudely awoken by uh the feeling of pickle brine entering your nose and you are you are cheek deep in the middle of the night and you're like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry in a pickle barrel full of brine pickles all around your face the lid is on oh no this is my worst nightmare coming to life I've literally been pickled oh god I've had this dream so many times tuck punches through the lid of the brine box yeah one of these punch he's just punches through everything he's gonna be wearing a barrel punches in every direction he's so disoriented arms out the sides legs out the bottom oh my god fuck very strong man oh shit twelve yeah it just shatters into a million pieces and you're in a like a kitchen and a bunch of a bunch of jackals like preparing breakfast are like what the fuck they dive out of the way and you're just standing there like hulk breathing covered in pickle brine hey sorry about that I was dying in that sorry and they just mouth a gape stare at you as you leave the kitchen and you come out into the main room and you're like oh my god I'm so sorry I'm stuck in a area of the stray dog and you see ving on the other side of the room hanging from a coat hook bang oh what happened where am I this is a very tall code hook oh my god right it's like seven feet not for people they're stuck you're in a sack your legs are up around your dick goodness set what do you smell like pickles what's going on what happened last night we got so fucked up and I think you lost us all of our money I lost us all the money Right Tuck You're gonna take a minus one ongoing No why for lying For failing Remember you failed You got so drunk You have like a herculean hangover And Billy Billy's doing something totally normal What's Billy doing Billy is still in Jake's office Scrummaging around He woke up hours ago Yeah Okay what are you scrummaging There's a lot of stuff down here I don't know like his cupboards Opening up the cupboards Okay yeah let's do discern realities You could find some pretty neat stuff in here Nine Sick So you get one question I want to know what else is hidden here Okay So you're scrummaging around In this like storehouse basically That Jake hangs out in Found some like yogurt covered raisins earlier So I'm carrying Dragging that bag with me and shoveling Mouthfuls in I'm like Wonder what's in this bag Dragging the bag Yeah wonder what's over here Also a trail of raisins being left So it's everywhere It's a trail of raisins Because Billy's sucking the yogurt off And spitting out the raisins And there's one of those little Pest street lizards Following the trail Eating the raisins behind you It's fine It's a coconut yogurt Dairy free Oh it's the dairy thing Oh smart Good call Smart Good call Good call Good call Good call Good call Good call Good call Good call Good call Yeah okay so You're just opening bags That you find And it's like There's a lot of food here There's like dried beans Cured meats The usual thing I help myself to some Cured meats Great Also Yeah you've got a lot of cured meats That totally go with your Coconut yogurt Covered raisins It's creating quite a Milieu of flavor Inside your mouth I like that for Opening a bag for Billy Is sticking a knife And cutting it down The middle And letting it pour The bags are too tall Yeah I make little cuts In it Yeah ew those need to be cooked first yuck that's why the bag is dragging and spilling beans cuts went open there's just gold coins in it and he's like these can't even be eaten yeah totally bored by money so bye uh but again you're like thiefy sense goes off and you're like oh there's a secret panel here 100 and you walk up and you like uh press into just a section that looks like smooth stone and you hear click and then it springs back out and opens up into this like high school locker sized like space and there's a picture of the garden snake yeah I'm like stickers from bananas yeah I like those yeah what's uh what's something that billy would be really excited to find so this is basically like his personal items and yeah this is like where he doesn't want anybody to find his stuff billy would love to find um because there's you know like coins yeah there's a coin of a metal that you don't usually see it's like a whiter lighter metal oh aluminum if I had to tell you it's basically the equivalent of like platinum like it's more valuable than a gold coin okay yeah I I look over that I'm like I taste it I'm like disgusting and he's like a sommelier or like that like that ice cream tasting guy yeah gross not for me um I was thinking about like maybe a little like stuffed animal but it feels like there's been stuff put in but I mostly like it because it's soft what kind of animal is it a little camel or centaur or a moth or a bear it's a bear it's just a little stuffed bear yeah yeah and you feel like yeah there is a little thing that kind of opens and there was there's space to put stuff inside of it there's some stuff in it but I hear jake coming I'm like oh shit and you just close it yeah I stuff I stuff the teddy bear under my shirt and I and I'm like oh no and I see all the raisins and the meats and stuff and the beans and you yeah you hear the footsteps coming down the stairs and you hear jake's voice go what the fuck happened in here I'm sorry I'm sorry Did you do this?

Yeah. Get the fuck upstairs. I'm sorry, Jake. I can clean it up. No, don't touch anything else. Why? I'm helping. I'm helping. Look at this lizard got in here. He shoos a lizard away. He was so polite. Look, hey, kid, I'm happy to do business with you. You and your crew seem to get some shit done. Get the fuck upstairs right now. Okay. And yeah, he sends you upstairs and he snatches the bag out of your hands before you go upstairs. Can I? I'm hungry. Okay. And he reaches in and grabs a handful.

Okay. And dribbles the handful into your hands. Thanks. We need these. For what? For food. For Halloween. It's Halloween coming up. I'm sorry, Jake. It's… I didn't mean to. I… It's fine. Okay? It's fine. But still, get the fuck out of here. Can you help me up the stairs? I can't climb under two feet. Yes, I can help you up the stairs. She's really laying into things. I would have gone upstairs, but I couldn't do it. And I got hungry, so I had to eat.

And he picks you up under the arms and sits you like… So you're sitting on his forearm like a 20-year-old carrying his baby cousin. Yeah. Just like, oh my God. Yes. Come upstairs. And he puts you at the top of the stairs and goes, stay out of here. Okay, bye. Bye. He slams the door in my face. You see Tuck and Ving. Tuck is trying to get Ving off a coat rack out of a bag. And Ving is laughing so hard. And Tuck stinks like pickles. Whoa, you guys look rough. Yeah.

Billy, what's under your shirt? Nothing. I'll show you when you get out of the bag. I just ripped the bag open. Yeah, and Ving sprightly, well, not quite as sprightly because he's got a bit of a hangover, touches the ground, stumbles a bit. Oof. And you're free. Yeah, you're just standing in the stray dog. The morning is a little bit quieter, of course. There are… This place always kind of has… Summer camp lunchroom kind of feel. Mm-hmm.

Like a military cafeteria because it is a work space, basically, for these people. Like anyone can walk in and grab whatever they need and then leave. Exactly. And the jackals come here all the time. Yeah, it's like, come get your orders and then go. Yeah. So that's what's kind of going on. It's a little quiet. But in the corner, you see a familiar figure. Is it Allison? It's Shia. Oh. Oh. What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?

What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? She's like, she… Because she said figure. You're like, ooh, the most luscious figure to behold. Tuck runs up and he puts his hand on her shoulder. He's like, Allison, is that you? She, like, grabs your hand very firmly and takes it off and says, Tuck, sit down. Oh, Shia, it's just you. Just sit down, please. Fine.

Bing brings over some tea, like a hangover cure tea for… For Tuck, yeah. Great. Uh, so quick question, just off the top. What the fuck are you guys doing? What do you mean? Are you just, are you trying to cause trouble? Are you trying to attract attention to yourselves? We're not trying to do anything. Well, you're fucking stumbling balls first through the city. I feel like it's probably dick first. Just anatomically. All right, whatever. Either way. Maybe if we were backwards and bent over.

Yeah. I still might be butt first. We were mooning someone doing that, like fruit bowl kind of thing. Yeah. With the hands on the ground. And then like shimmying backwards towards the, as a sign of extra disrespect. Actually, it might be easier to tuck your dick from the front and pull your balls out in front of it. She's got her hands up in the air. Like, what is going on? And both Tuck and Bing are rummaging around in their pants to try and figure out the anatomy. Please, please stop. Please.

For the love of God. I'm okay with that. Okay, well, we're here because Jake told us to go put a stop to the daydreamer. The daydreamers. Yeah. In exchange for information about the Magi. Like, literally everybody in the sticks knows what you're doing. What? No, we couldn't have. How did they know? I didn't tell anyone. Because you don't lower your voices even one decibel when you talk. You're basically telling everybody that you possibly can about what you're doing.

And there's some dude with a faux hawk running around talking about how cool his friends are. And I realized that that's you guys. And he's just giving up the goat to anybody that'll ask. I knew it. I knew we shouldn't talk to Dan. Literally, everything bad happens when we talk to Dan. Last time we saw him for three seconds and then we ended up lost in the Sea of Graves for months. He is a terrible omen in our lives. He's a harbinger of doom.

And if you think about it, him getting you guys to bring him to Mudlark basically started off what could be the apocalypse. Yeah. Dan is an, an albatross. He might be, yeah, the devil. Yeah. We talk about Tuck being an agent of chaos. Like, it's too glad. Yeah. Maybe Dan is a demon. Yeah. Demon of mischief. I thought you were going to say meats. Anyways. So, yeah, I mean, thanks for helping Jake with the daydreamers thing. That was cool. You're working with Jake? I mean, Jake's working for me.

Hey guys, dating. Are you guys going out? No. Do you like him even a little bit? I'm like easily three times his age. We can put in a good word for you. Anyways, we'll table that for now. I bet you he wants to table you. Okay. Whoa. I won't leave that. Sorry. I'm sorry. That's fucked up. It's fine. I get it. I saw how much you had to drink last night. I understand that your inhibitions are maybe a little looser than they usually are, which is saying something.

So, yeah, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what are you doing here? We're here to look for the magi to the Billy is having a hard time remembering. Yeah. Do you know anything about the, the dark church? No. There's only weird cloaked figures around lighten braziers. People, we heard they're around the lighthouse.

I, yeah, some of the, some of the kids that I, I employ have said that there have been people that looked a hell of a lot like the magi are supposed to look around the lighthouse so yeah they're definitely uh doing something around the lighthouse they might be inside but if they are inside I haven't figured out how they're getting in why are you trying to find them again uh they might have information on how to get perel his magic back okay all right so this is like a personal trip yeah basically yeah we weren't doing anything for the librarians right no I mean they'd be interested oh yeah but no again you're talking at full volume about working for the secretive library sorry so and then tuck leans forward really close to shia and he's like I'm pretty sure we didn't have any errands to run for the librarians you smell like fermented pickles I know I woke up in a pickled vat again I know what I was the one that convinced you to get in there what what!

She high fives billy it's pretty funny it was you got in so easily you had no questions you just hopped in tuck in his history has destroyed six different float tanks yeah that like float houses that he's gone to because he falls asleep wakes up thinks it's the pickle dream the pickle dream uh yeah so what have you been working on what's your biggest concern right now what's happening I've been trying to you know help maintain control oh my god I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um yeah well congratulations you okay we're still high five are you waiting for all of them to connect at the same time before you stop you do it Jessica hold your hand tighter yeah yeah Chey goes that was worth the wait yeah so that's kind of it you know I've been using the jackals to keep control of this part of the city and we're gonna move into cliffside or stepside we're gonna move into stepside sooner or later so that'll be nice when was the last time you saw third oh fuck yeah what's going on with that guy no no one can give us a fucking straight answer everyone's like he's in the shadows and he's like he's operating independently maybe he's in a cloak and he's coming although all the time he's coming all over the goings or whatever fuck I can't figure out this joke it's a paid expression on his face is holding his temple yeah I mean I can't be a hundred percent sure what his motivations are it was like you know last time I saw him he was trying to kill me so why whoa well you know I'm kind of and she lowers like I'm kind of a crime boss you're a crime boss oh my god you're the good guy I mean yeah it's it's a it's I am we are working towards stabilizing the city but we are doing it through less than legal means I mean if you think about it that's really the origin of organized crime is people providing for communities that traditionally won't be provided for really maybe I make a little money off that but that's nobody's business but mine you're not extorting anybody no well threatening I mean extortion is such a such a complicated oh my god it's more like security contracting you know like I can't do this stuff for free all the time so yeah anyways I was trying to get some information on another bunch of was their name dust devils yeah you remember you hearing that oh yeah yeah yeah so I was trying to get some info on them I went to their hideout in the middle of the night sneaking through and unfortunately that was the night that third decided to show up and shut them down permanently what happened he took them out hundred percent like gone we heard that like the whole whole house fell off the edge of the cliff yeah basically he kind of pushed it off with them inside of it he will there was a fight and it ended with him pushing the building off the cliff that's fucked up yeah he's off the chain like whatever was keeping him in place when the torch was in control that's gone so many lives could have been lost yeah and he caught sight of me we mixed it up for a little bit and I thankfully got away but I don't want to see him again you got away from the third it was hard but I did and he might have seen me turn into a snake so you know that's not great he saw you as a snake before in the hearth yeah so he's probably connecting some dots but it seems like he might not be with the light guard anymore have you talked to eighth at all oh um because eighth lives in the upper ward right yeah she kind of wants to stay out of things I I know I know like you guys are giving her this look like what do you mean yeah and she's like yeah I went and I have tried to talk to her but um she won't even see me like it's like every time I go to where she supposedly is she's gone so she's not interested have you has ninth come back to the city because we cross paths with him in the don't know in the desert no idea okay well let's table that for now yeah so next step is what lighthouse yeah I guess the lighthouse try and figure out what's going on there cool you got free reign in the sticks but I won't be coming with you I hope you understand do you know where Perel is oh um he went out he went out yeah he said he had to pick something up what let's let's go look for Perel yeah we're gonna find this fucking guy he's doing something bad sniff around see if I can find him yeah totally last time we were separated from him he almost released a moon got it yeah in time before that he bought too many hats can I roll connections to get a little or do you should we just wander oh no I like that yeah connections is good it's plus charisma I think post charisma yeah so nine plus two is eleven hell yeah holy shit yeah on a ten plus someone has it just for me and I'm just gonna ask one of the jackals yeah you can yeah there's just a bunch like hanging out outside yeah and uh yeah they're like smoking yeah hey I tug on his like pant leg yeah um have you seen Perel like the dude with the like flower shirt and it was ripped into a vest right and some like swimming shorts uh-huh yeah I saw him yeah yeah he was he stayed here and then this morning he got up and he said he was going for a walk did he say where like did which way did he go oh he went uh that way and he points like to your right down the street okay yeah is it like towards the lighthouse uh yeah it is towards the lighthouse but it's like parallel to the lighthouse yeah all right uh should we go this way yeah let's go find Perel before we do this fucking thing which we're doing for him I don't know why the fuck he would wander away I know maybe he found something out oh uh he said sorry before you go he said he was scouting he's scouting yeah that doesn't sound like him that's not good we should walk fast did he and I grabbed the guy like uh-huh by the arm and I pull him close to me I was like did he have a fucking big hat and a dumb mustache on and was he talking with a cadence that sounded like it was from a copper book novel yes fuck he didn't have a hat though and he was really pissed about it let's check the hat shop yeah where's the nearest hat cobbler uh you you remember the hat store that he was like perusing when you ran into Dan right it is that way yeah so you go to that hat store I were spreading too because if he tries to pull some fucking Dirk adventureman shit he's gonna fucking kill himself and uh you run in this hat stores open and there's like a person inside the hat store is called um brimming with excitement wow and there's a very there's a very sunny 50 year old man inside do you have change rooms here uh we do we have some change rooms if you want to step in and see how a chapeau looks on you we're just looking for our friend is he here is there somebody in the change rooms or something there's no one in the change rooms who was your friend he's bald he has a mustache a flower vest shirt and some swimming shorts was he here mm-hmm he was here for hats yep oh I could tell I could tell he was he was here um I'd say about 30 40 minutes ago fuck which way did he go uh he well he bought a hat what kind no it was uh it was a um a brown leather leather mid-sized brim yes that's a adventure hat shit did he get a feather to go with it he did he got two actually two just like we're so fucked he's got so much confidence and literally zero skill to back it up uh and after he bought the hat he was he was in a very good mood and he said that he'd worked up quite the appetite he called it a hat patite oh god he would and he said that he was gonna go get uh go get the perhaps a coffee and a pastry oh I know I know where he went there's a there's a fancy breakfast place that has really fancy coffee and uh french pastries or I mean panusian pastries they have panusian pastries and all the divorced moms and and young people go there he's there for sure it's got the vibe of like a gas town coffee shop where it's like in a really bad part of town but it's super fancy it sounds like it's a brunch place yeah yeah yeah all right let's go there so billy you lead the way hey you haberdasher man I'm taking this hat that's like his hat and then I put it on that's theft I'll get you on the flip side my dude and then he he high fives himself I guess the man just sighs as you run out of the store and you run out the street and run to the brunch place what's the brunch place called run is like excessive okay he is running up you hustle no we meander okay I take the shady side of the street and yeah we walk a couple blocks I'm like here it is you can see the lineups pretty long he might still be in it we look around what's the brunch place called oof oof yeah oof there's a huge line it's like basically just on the edge of the jackals territory so like people come from the more middle class areas of cliffside to come here and um um!

Not in the line but the lines really long it'd be surprising if he got in in less than half an hour we look in the front windows yep there's people happily paying way too much for poached eggs is pro in there he's not if you want to roll something we could perhaps get some detail discern realities yeah two d six plus wisdom I I go look at the the weight line you know we have to put your name down and look for pro 10 oh!

Nine nine does anyone want to aid perhaps oh yeah definitely um I've started asking people in the lineup have you seen pearl have you seen my uncle uncle he's bald I describe him to the lineup nice oh yeah we eat got 10 hell yeah okay so that's a 10 and a 10 so you get three questions off the discern realities list what happened here recently what happened here recently so Billy is asking in the line have you seen my uncle's ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ladies uh I am in a bulk face we can tell what can we do we so okay yes we did see him we saw him he was behind us in line actually oh and I guess he left yeah he it seemed like he saw somebody and he took off which way did he go uh he went uh he just went like down the street like this way I think I saw him turn down an alley maybe there were some people following him actually now that I think about it what kind of people you know just a real generic kind of vibe all right like this place yeah well excuse you this is the finest place to get a meal between breakfast and lunch and all of cliffside hey can I tell you a quick secret you know just to thank you for giving us a hand they have a great dumpster out back and you can get all the poached eggs you want and full donuts and croissants like you can have it all you don't even have to pay it's free and you can get all the poached eggs you want and full donuts and croissants like you can have it anyway it's great have a great day lady and you see them go like oh why would we go to a dumpster and then a couple of them look towards the alley their eyes dart in the direction of the alley because they're tired of waiting in line yeah totally the dumpster wives of mccall the real dump wives of mccall yeah uh so yeah that's what you find out is perel was apparently seen saw somebody and was being pursued we have two more questions should we ask him or just go down the alley I'm gonna say that you can like see if you can find a place to put your stuff in the alley and if you can't find a place to put your stuff in the alley and if you can't find a place to put your stuff in the alley you can still use those questions this is like a broad situation that you're investigating yeah yeah so you head further down the street and we're rushing again billy's like lazy but tuck has picked him up he's like we have to run I know perel's gonna get his fucking ass kicked if we don't find him and billy as he's running uh your stomach is being jostled against his arm so it's just that like so many like raisins in there oh and the teddy bear oh my teddy bear we just think that's what you call your tummy now yeah your teddy bear's fine and you come to an alley that the lady said that it looked like perel ran down and there's nobody here okay what happened here recently you see a garbage can has been knocked over in the alleyway and billy your uh dumpster kid sense tells you that this happened recently oh yeah yeah because some of the best bits are still there and they're still wet put me down put me down he just kicks out of my arms look at this look at this chicken curry oh it's still warm but it's on the dirt like no bowl just loose curry I taste it way too much skim off the top pal that's fresh more than a taste and uh as you're on the ground looking at the dumpster you notice like a bunch of scuffles too like there's footprints and it looks like there were several people here and there was a tussle of some kind and there's footprints can we track them uh yeah you totally can so you track them down the alleyway and you're like oh my god I'm gonna die and there's footprints can we track them uh yeah you totally can so you track them down the alleyway and you're like oh my god I'm gonna die okay um you're just following the very obvious footprints you know like another pink thread on the ground another kicked over trash can more curry taste taste taste half of a mustache actually yeah you do find like half a fake mustache on the ground oh my god he's gonna be so scared right now and um it takes you through like a couple back alleys uh onto a main street that is now like basically the thoroughfare directly to the lighthouse and the shantytown that's on the other side of the street and you're like oh my god I'm gonna die oh it's the tallow road I think you can follow it right to the shantytown basically like you know that that's where it's going you're like oh the lighthouse obviously that would be the place to look and um you get close to the lighthouse it's immensity shocking you the the way the sun is rising and the shadow hasn't been cast over cliffside and um there are people just milling about once you get to the shantytown it's like a lot more people it's way denser it's like the wooden boardwalks yeah it's like the wooden boardwalks it's like the wooden boardwalks that are attached to the lighthouse here yeah places on stilts and scaffolds you know there's like laundry drying everywhere there are kids playing people cleaning fish and stuff like that selling dates yeah exactly it's like a crisscross multi-level thing that like covers the whole base of the lighthouse yeah because it's fucking huge right yeah it's enormous billy your your sharp senses you see one of the people in the like that's right at the front of the houses on like the shantytown like a shack that's like maybe two or three levels above street level sees you and darts back into their shack whoa guys there's someone up there lead the way billy okay and uh when you get up into the the boardwalks uh like 15 year old says like what are you doing oh we're just visiting my uncle uh you don't look like you're from around here what's that supposed to mean do you think like we don't live here now I grew up in this neighborhood our uncle lives here parlay yeah yeah tuck yeah I'm trying to find uncle fatty okay it's eight uncle fatty huh yeah okay all right just make it quick all right we don't like people coming in here and making trouble okay yeah I promise we won't cause trouble thank you and he uh does the coin rubbing together and then with his fingers and then we all start doing it and thank no thank you so much thank you are you dense all right thank you just give him some money oh money shit sorry yeah here I'll give him one yeah he takes it and he just goes back to like scaling this uh dead lizard that he has and yeah you can head up these like really ramshackle stairs and um you're just walking up there's like little openings off the sides it's really cramped in here yeah it's actually probably really hard for tuck to even get in yeah the last time I was actually in the sticks I think I was maybe a lot smaller than I am now yeah you and vinger both crouching but tuck you're basically sideways trying to get up the staircase yeah because tuck left when he was a teenager yeah so you you didn't he hadn't like filled out this much totally and you get to the top level that you saw billy and uh the door that you get to is locked tricks of the trade please all right 2d6 plus dexterity whoa jesus it's been a while since you've opened a locked door but it feels so good yeah it does um I just I rummaged into my hair and I found like a oh do I still have the brass pin yeah yeah oh yeah I scrummaged around it brass pin here we go I'll give it a lick and don't lick that because your hair is incredibly messy this and I poke it a part of his head I'm like this is barbecue sauce leave it alone it's really important my process so yeah I do it there's like a lot of locks on this door there's like three or four locks yeah and this lock that for like the last one you do is of extremely high quality like there's a lot of mechanisms inside that uh surprise you and um you open it into like a very small area maybe five by five with a staircase in the middle that goes down oh okay is it dark uh you know lights coming in through the boards because it's not like the door is closed it's like a little bit of a tight fits but it is not lit that's for sure oh can I do a willow the wisp for light oh yeah you don't even have to roll just bang really okay um so you start going down the stairs yeah okay it gets darker as the quality of the wood around you gets like better and the boards fit together tighter tuck you're having a really fucking hard time getting down these stairs yeah I'm shimmying sideways yeah you're basically trying to smoosh yourself down a corkscrew yeah and the further down you go you're going to get a little bit of light and then you're going to get a little bit of the more it feels like you're in like a tube basically that's been attached to pre-existing construction and billy you especially spatially realize you're below uh the lowest building on the cliff whoa what like it's a staircase hanging in the open air underneath the houses uh-huh and you come to like a wooden catwalk hanging underneath the uh cliffside village that goes into the cliffside village and you're like oh my god I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm so scared and you're standing on this catwalk that extends over the precipitous drop of the cliff whoa and clinging to the rock next to the doorway growing in a shaft of light that just barely ekes out through the boards above is a single orange flower and that's where we're the cliff.

Whoa. And clinging to the rock next to the doorway, growing in a shaft of light that just barely ekes out through the boards above is a single orange flower. Whoa. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your Game Master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. Playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz. So long. And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye everyone.

Thanks to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music as always. And thank you to our incredible Patreon supporters supporting us from around the world. If you want us to support the show, feel free to go to patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money please. We can be found on the world wide web at speltlore most places. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be.

For times of rest they've been lost in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly be back. I'd gladly be back. We'll be back. We'll be back. Thank you.

Uh if you like spout more no wait is this me or if you like Spout Lore and you want to hear more of it go to patreon.com Spout Lore and maybe if you give them enough money they'll release me and we can see each other again I've been in this bar for years save me gather around friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tucker's the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight they'll be a great fun time together and a great time together Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers. Hello there. Playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz. Hello. And playing Fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes they returned to the library. How did they get a dragon to the library? From a deep cave underground? We hand waved it. It just happened. And after securing housing for their friend from Night's Embrace of Black Spire.

Rises in the shit mine behind the Margani library. They returned to the city of McCall on the trail of the Magi of McCall who the belief is are connected to the bringers of the black flame and then traveled to the territory of the jackals the street gang that you'd had run-ins with in the past and met up with their leader Jake who told you that things are going okay. They've got control of the sticks though. The light guard is stretched.

Pretty thin and are aggressively trying to take control of the city and after questioning a man you saved from a shakedown by some light guard soldiers. You have reason to believe that the gin third has been taking out criminals with an aggressive ferocity deadly force. Yeah, receiving some information from the ragamuffin crew about some people matching the description of the Magi questioned Jake about this who said that maybe he does know.

Something and maybe he'll tell you if you do a little something for him which is clearing out an upstart gang called the daydreamers from the northern part of Jackal territory out of an old bakery. They're doing fucked up drugs. Yeah, they've got some sort of weird spiritual substance thing going on and Jake doesn't want any part of it in his neighborhood and you headed out to go find the daydreamers and once you reached that part of town you were bowled over by none other than Colonel. Dan.

Fosse also Billy was drunk for the last three fifths of the episode and really got some shit done. Yeah, he certainly did Billy ate a spicy pepper and was given heavy cream to put out the spice in his now absolutely wasted Dan. It's been so long. Yeah, Billy. It has been a long time. He like picks himself up off the ground. He also pick me up off the ground. Yeah. Okay. He goes into a deep. What grabs you under the armpits and goes go to the gym. No, I haven't. Okay.

Could you guys come over here real quick and he like goes around a corner into an alley. Come here. Just come here. Just come here. He's for sure going to ambush us in the alley, right? Tuck takes out his ex and follows everybody. Keep going. You know what? Talk good instincts. Just keep that out and just stand right here, please. And he gets you to stand in front of the alley and as you're standing there a group of people like hustle around the corner and run right behind you. Tuck.

Classic Dan. So how are you all doing? Who were? No. Who are those people? Oh, just some business associates of mine. What did you convince them to buy or sell? I might have convinced them to buy to buy a little bit of a legendary wine that's been going around that maybe has a little bit less of the qualities they were looking for. You've been watering down the wine wood wine. Watering down is strong. It's just water.

They do have a very dark bottle, but you know, that's not really my it's not really my problem. I've just, you know, I got, you know, I'm in the new city. I got to do a little bit of this a little bit of that. Now, why are you just like get a job or something? Billy put me down. I like a bunch of scoundrels like you. You guys are calling. Well, you Billy are calling me a scoundrel. I'm a professional. I never get caught. That's actually totally fair. Actually, how did you get to the city? Me?

Yeah. Oh, it's quite a tale. I don't remember. Start at the end and go to the beginning. Okay, so we were on the boat. Yes, Crystal Bay boat crash. Remember that? Yes, barely. And then I was on the beach here. Yeah. Wow. I guess I just kind of floated through kind of bobbed through the sea of graves, I guess. Wow. Holy shit. That's and you are fine. I mean, look at me and you look at Dan and he looks a little different than he did.

He actually does look a lot more scoundrel than he did when he last saw him. He's cut his hair short like he used to have long kind of shoulder length, dark hair, and he's cut it really short and he's wearing like, you know, like kind of a desert scoundrel. He's got like a vest with like flowing pants and like a jacket like Aladdin. Not like Aladdin. I am imagining also the vest in the flowing pants. Hold on. Hold on. And he's kind of a desert scoundrel, which is a racist term. That's not.

Give me two seconds. One time during sex, John called me a desert scoundrel. Wow. He thinks I was totally unaware. Yeah, you just gave a lot away in a brief, short amount of time. I'm realizing the way that I'm describing him is he's dressed like Merlin from BBC's Merlin. And you get mad at me for my accent. Esoteric television references. So he's got like a light like linen jacket, like just like flowing clothes underneath. White person. Aladdin. This is not white person. A thousand.

Aladdin doesn't even have a scarf and he doesn't wear a shirt. He's got like the waist like. He's got a waist sash. He's got flowing pants. I feel like I'm getting ganged up on here. I mean, it's really easy to jump on this bandwagon. Aladdin's not good enough for my reference. I need Merlin, the whitest of all legends. Okay. Produced by the BBC, the whitest of all broadcast. All right, fine. You know what? He's not. He doesn't look like that at all.

Paul, give me one thing about Dan's appearance. He's got this little vest, a scarf around his neck. Oh no. He's whiter than ever. He shouldn't be this white in the desert. What do you got whiter? Uh, he's got a faux Hawk. Oh no. Jessica. He has a, I don't know, pants. He's got pants on. All right. Flowy pants. We just read, we just said to Sean, the description. Now that's better. Now. That's better. That's a description. That's how you describe somebody. You absolute bastards. Uh, yeah.

So he looks a little different, but the face a hundred percent. Dan, does he have any like new scars or anything? Um, he, I mean, he's missing a tooth. Yeah, he is. He has a gold tooth now. Oh wow. Whoa. Yeah. This is kind of the big thing. I, I, when I woke up, I was missing a tooth. So I just got a new one when I got to town. Who'd you steal that from? A goldsmith. You, oh man. Man. What do you want from me? Well, man, like healthcare is free here. You could just go to a dentist.

Healthcare is free here. Yeah. That's why it's so great. Where? Yeah. The deep ward, the dwarves do everything for free. There are dwarves here. What are you doing? How long have you been in the city for? That's a good question. Like a long, like a while. Like, I don't know, seven, seven months. That's longer than we've been here. What? What? That doesn't. That doesn't make sense. Does it? We were only here for like four months before the events of the library.

And then that, and then now it's been five months. What the fuck? Like he's looking like, yeah, whatever. See a graves. I'm assuming it's magic bullshit. Anyways. So do you, are you guys like in town for like work or something? I guess you could say that. Yeah. I guess you could say that. Why are you all being shifty? I'm going to tell you. Yeah. Yeah. And all the gold and, and the water.

Dan, you don't have a good reputation for not fucking people over as evidenced by the group full of people who you sold fake medicine to. Okay. Well, clearly not your tooth in your mouth. Let me ask you this. How many times have I fucked you three over? Countless. So many. Count them. I can't. One, four. Now, hold on. You're just saying numbers. Doing my best, Dan. Wait. I'm just saying numbers. I'm just saying numbers. Is Perel with us? Oh yeah. I guess he is. Yeah.

Maybe Perel is shy and he is kind of window shopping a hat store nearby and it's, and he's, he's just so awkward. He doesn't want to like make eye contact. Yeah. It's that thing. Like when you're, when your mom sees a friend of hers in the grocery store and you just have to stand there while they talk, he just looks over every once in a while. Like still talking. Yeah. This is our earlier Perel. Oh, hi. Hi. I'm Perel. I'm Perel. I'm Perel. And they shake hands. Hey, I'm Dan.

Dan, what, what, what, what do you want to hang out with us? Exactly. I'm like, what do we hire him? What do we, I mean, I mean, you guys might be able to help me out. You might be able to help us out actually. Uh huh. Um, do you know anything about the daydreamers? Uh, um, I do. Yes. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I know quite a lot about them. How much do you know?

I, we might've had some dealings here and there. Are they friends of yours? No. Are they the people who are chasing you? Yes. Well, that's narratively convenient for us. Yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah. Um, yeah, I, uh, might've helped them with some supply issues they were having and they, you know, skimped on our deal a little bit. They decided that maybe it wasn't worth paying me.

So I just, just now tried to, uh, uh robbed them and it didn't go well hmm where's their headquarters you need to show us where they hang out yeah yeah oh yeah totally it's just down the block let's go okay we gotta stay out of sight though should we sneak over there yeah let's sneak let's do it and uh he starts leading you down the alley and you know for all of his like dan's a fucking scumbag he's surprisingly good at acting stealthy like he you're watching him and he's totally just blending into the environment even in this dark alley he's just like everywhere he is it looks like he's supposed to be there whoa and he takes you just across the block to the other street on the side of this alley and then turns right and takes you to the next intersection and points across at a building that's boarded up some of the windows are boarded up but some of them are open and you can see figures kind of moving behind them and he's like yeah that's uh that's the place right there what kind of stuff are these daydreamers up to uh I mean just like usually like normal gang stuff really they uh they're more on the recreational substances side of things than a lot of other gangs in this area and a lot of their stuff from what I hear has kind of spooky qualities spooky how uh I went in there one time for a meeting and there were a lot of people just kind of laying around it looked like they were asleep but they were moving a lot and I just got a weird vibe in there like it didn't seem like anything I'd ever seen before who went over Spout Lore about the drug that they're using maybe totally do you want to do it since you're the spirit guy oh yeah yeah you could 2d6 plus intelligence Spout Lore all right I got eight plus intelligence is zero okay so something interesting but not useful you tell me tell me about a story that ving has heard about people without spiritual ability finding a way to connect to the spirit plane um that it takes a critical mass of people to do so oh okay explain a bit more about that they like they have to do it in groups or uh they're called choirs whoa that's cool people get together in choirs and do this so they they see themselves as like more more of a church but yeah they have to rally around a central figure who is usually more connected to the spirit realm they need a leader to take them through this trip oh and dan's like yeah that actually that tracks their leader is this sort of like weird cultish they they really really revere this dude seems like they're maybe using I mean the supply issue I helped them with was ghost root I know a guy who just like has a little farm and uh they're grinding that up and inhaling the smoke or eating it or drinking it and that seems to give them kind of some weird little push I've only seen stuff like this in the forest like when I was younger but I haven't seen anything like that in human lands in a long time yeah not in the human realms and usually it's done for like ceremonial purposes yeah right like this seems like a weird they're playing with stuff they shouldn't be playing with and being criminals yeah sketchy don't like it but you know they pay well they did pay do they have like security or whatever yeah usual gang stuff like just lookouts do you think it'd be easy for us to like scare them away intimidate them would it be like scaring away a dog where you're just like get out of here dog or is it more like would we have to like do fighty fighty stuff I mean it's you know it kind of depends on how you all play it I could probably if you wanted to go quiet I could probably get you in a back door uh but what I would want is for you to grab my money for me when you sneak in because I can't get it you want us to steal from these people for you I do I would love that it seems like you're all pretty good at uh what you do thank you Yeah, but stealing from a gang is kind of like…

Of drug addicts? Yeah, it's sort of… We're already doing this for another gang. This just seems so much work. I don't even want to be here that long. I don't want to go rifling around for this. Okay. Yeah, that's all right. I understand. Well, I'll be in town. So if you need me, you can come find me. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Thanks for the info, though. Hey. It's actually good to see you. It's nice to see a familiar face. You know, it is actually good to see you all, too.

I don't know anybody in this town, so it's nice to see a few familiar faces, even if they were kind of unhappy to see me to begin with. Anyways, I'm living above a place called Maureen's in Stepside. Just come find me if you need me. Okay. All right. Thanks, Dan. Yeah. Good luck. Stay out of trouble, man. We'll see. And he turns and steps into a crowd. And, like, basically blends into them instantly. Whoa. And he's gone. So you're standing in front of the bakery.

That guy's really good at blending in. Chuck says it's with people walking all around him, like a foot and a half above the crowd. What's your plan? Okay. So ways to kick him out. What do churches hate the most? States. Yeah, we could pretend to be city workers. We do have practice at that. We do. Yeah. I mean. We broke into the fucking council building. We could definitely convince a bunch of drug addicts that we're city workers. But then what do we do once we're in there?

We help them with their addiction. They spend time as an addiction counselor. You used to do these clubs called Intervention. And you never let me go. No. So maybe we could try that. And you said it was always a lot of, like, a lot of fun. Well, it's fun for the people. Yeah. Because they get to talk about their stuff. Billy's referencing a thing. Where Ving had to have an intervention for Tuck because he was eating too much protein powder. And Billy wanted to join.

But Ving said that this is adult time. And this is just adult talk. And that it doesn't concern me. And it really stung. So Billy's, like, kind of sobering up now. And he's really excited for this intervention. And also he's drunk enough to be hurt slightly more than usual. Yeah. Totally. All right. I would love to be an intervention. So the current tentative plan is to pretend to be social workers. From the city. From the city. Go in there and start to conduct an intervention.

Well, we could just do an intervention with the leader of the choir. Mm-hmm. I'm not saying… I know it sounds like I'm saying this with incredulity. It sounds like it in my voice. But I am saying it. The tone is tentative excitement. I don't know. I mean, I'm not in a fit state to have a fight. But, like, maybe I am. Who knows? I don't know if this is a group of people that we need to fight. Yeah, we might be able to just, like, I guess, talk them into leaving.

And going back to their families or whatever. Maybe. Maybe we offer them some housing in a different part of the town that's not occupied by the jackals. And I, like, another just something that occurred to me. You could also just be like, hey, why don't you just start kicking up to the jackals? What is that? Just, like, make it worth their while that you're here. Instead of just trying to encroach on their territory. Like, that's one potential angle, too. Yeah, Perel says this.

Yeah, Perel's like, I don't know. Criminals love just being safe and paying people off. Maybe they'll do that. That's boring, Perel. Okay. I'm going to go. Go sit outside this bar. You all do your thing. What? Why are you abandoning us? Well, I mean, honestly, am I going to be much help in this? Yeah, probably not. Honestly. Yeah, I'll. I'm going to go back to the stray dog, maybe. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I'll see you all later. Bye. Be safe. Here, does somebody want my hat? It's pretty good.

No, buddy wants your hat. I want it. No, fuck. Yeah, I want. Fuck. I want it. I said first. Billy, no. I want it. Can I roll to get it first? Okay. Two to six plus dexterity. Whoever gets highest wins. Fuck. Fuck. Yes. Nine. Huge hat win. Two. Eleven. I get the hat. Fuck. Oh, my God. It's so big. I got four. Billy just snatches it out of Perel's hands. What does the hat look like? It's a really wide brim. Perfect. Like black leather, like gardening hat. Oh, my gosh. Oh, wow.

I'm going to have personal space for once in my life. No one touch me. Billy looks like a little mushroom. He looks like a Goomba from. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Perel heads off. Son of a bitch. I wanted the hat. You can borrow it later. You can borrow it. Okay. Fine. So, yeah, you're going to. What are you going to go knock on the door? What? Yeah. I'm just thinking of like what Mormons do. Like, you know, you like go knock on the door and you're like, you have your own religion.

Have you heard the good word? Yeah. We come up with our own religion. Yeah. We try and convert them. Oh, yeah. Well, Ving also. These are people that want a connection to the spirit world. And Ving is an actual elementalist. Oh. We can wow them. What if Billy could do tricks too with spirits? Yeah. And I'm like big. Yeah. Uh-huh. So if that doesn't work, I can beat the shit out of them. Yeah, we could do that. I was going to offer to do the like. Uh, connections to see if I could. Yeah.

Cause there's a gang. Yeah. If the leader has like, if he's really interested in something, if he really likes something, cause then we could win him, him over. Oh, yeah. Cool. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Yeah. That's a great idea. That's your thinking hat, Billy. That's what that is. Here's my thinking hat. So I like waddle off and there's some kids hanging around. I don't know them by name, but I recognize them. Yeah. Yeah. Two D six plus charisma. Nine. Hell yeah. Anybody want to aid? Can we do that?

Uh, yeah. Come with me. Cause I'm nervous. Yeah. I'll pretend to be your bodyguard. Yeah. Oh, that looks legit. Two D six plus bond. Six. Oh shit. They've seen tuck before. They know. Yeah. Get this fuck out of here. Yeah. They've wrecked. They recognize this whole situation as you're walking up. Hey, it's me, Billy. Hey, Billy. And it's trusty bodyguard. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. Bruce.

They roll their eyes. Hi, tuck. Oh, dang it. Fuck. Have we tried this before? Yeah. Like a lot. Sorry. I can't always recognize you guys when you're all like in disguise. Yeah. They're all wearing fake mustaches. Hey, listen, I need a favor. Do you know about the leader of the daydreamers? Who guaranteed? That's their name? Yeah. Yeah. Guaranteed? Guaranteed. First name, last name? No, no, no, no. The first name is, their name is, they're like thinking really hard, Pell Corbin.

Nickname is guaranteed. Oh. All right. Pell Corbin. Yeah. Do you know if they like, what are they like? What are some interests or things that they really want? What's their perfect Sunday afternoon? Yeah. What's something that they would want so badly? What's something that they would want so bad that they would want to like talk to us face to face? Are they a dog person or a cat person? Do they like the stones or the beetles? They don't like rocks or bugs. Okay. No rocks or bugs.

Do they like nap time? Do they like, uh, uh, like soup? Why are those competing options in Billy's brain? Nap time or soup. Try to figure out if this is like a cozy person. Uh, hmm. Actually. So the kids do tell you that. Yeah. Yeah. Guaranteed. Corbin was just like a regular criminal for a while and then got involved in the spirit stuff and something, I don't know.

They tried some sort of ritual a long time ago to like connect to the spirit world, like put their spirit in the spirit world, which is like not good. And it really messed them up. Like, are they sick now? Yeah. Like it, they're, they're just like their body seems okay. But something about the energy that like their vibe is just like bad white hair, like always seems so tired. Seems like they're, they're looking around a lot. Like they're hearing things like it's weird. Whoa. Hmm.

They're in between. But I do know that they're absolutely whatever happened. They are terrified of spirits. They're terrified of spirits. Terrified. But they want to go to the spirit world. Well, they're terrified. They want to go to the spirit world, but they don't want to attract the attention of a vengeful spirit. Huh? Huh. Hmm. All right. Well, thank you. Does that help? Oh, wait. No, sorry. There were strings attached. You have to pay us. What? We want money. Okay. Okay. Kid, we'll pay you.

Okay. We're not going to stiff a bunch of kids. Hey, we'll throw in three extra coins if you give us three mustaches. Yeah. No problem. Three of your fake mustaches. They rip them right off. Here you go. Thank you. We all put fake mustaches. I'm not going to make choices for your characters, but Tuck puts a fake mustache. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm putting it in my gear. Fake mustache. I'm going to draw it. Sure. They hold out their hands. Okay. How many? I can't do the math. A goatee attached.

Each of us just wants two coins. So how many of them are there? There's three. It's just six coins. Six coins plus an extra three. So nine coins. Wow. Money, please. This is steep. Let's round it up to 10. They're kids. Okay. Here's a bonus. Your rates have gone up. Yeah. It's tough out here. Business is tough. But you all pay great. If you want any more info, you come find us. Oh, yeah. Anytime. Or mustaches. Yeah. We got a ton. We found an old crate in a dumpster. Dumpster?

Might not be mustaches. We pulled them off and they're like small caterpillars. I put it back on. It's just crawling back and forth on Billy's face. Yeah. So that's what you know. Guaranteed Corbin is I'll with some sort of spirit energy disease and is terrified of attracting the attention of a vengeful spirit. Okay. Are we still sticking to intervention or do we want to tell him that we have some kind of cure for his disease? I mean, the intervention could be.

It's kind of like a like multi-level marketing. Like. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Jessica, here. I would just point out the fact that you are the queen of being like, this is maybe an overly complicated plan. And what I just did was, should we stick to intervention or should we offer some kind of help medically? And you said, maybe we can incorporate both of those in a multi-level marketing scheme. I'm so sorry. Rewind. No, no. No. I feel like what you meant is that the plan has multiple things in it.

I know I was going for a thing. No, I want to know what this was. It was literally just like, I was just thinking about like the weird people, like from the south, like, you know, in the states who are like, just like, really like intense about the religion. They sell it almost. Oh, like evangelists. Yes. Thank you. That's a word. Yeah. Like trying to get tithes to help with like spiritual problems. Yeah. That kind of feeling. Anyway. We could do that. We could. Yeah.

Instead of pretending to be city workers, we could pretend that we're like spirit evangelists. Yeah. Yeah. We're spirit people. That's how we could use. Yeah. We're spirit guides. And again, you're saying pretend. Ving actually is. I'm more of a walker than a guide. I do the walking, not the guiding. Tuck in his mind. He's like, how are we going to pretend to be spirit guides? Ving's just floating. Floating two rocks above his hand. I don't know. You figure it out. I look at Ving.

I look at Tuck. I look back at Ving like, oh, Ving. Smash cut to Billy pretending to be a televangelist. A little seersucker suit. His hair slicked back. Hello, gentlemen. A perfect mustache. Yeah. He's got the hat, which gives him a plus one forward on charisma. And he's got the mustache, which gives him a plus one forward on dexterity. What? Wow. All right. Are we actually doing this? So the plan is we pretend to be spirit walkers. Who's taking point? Is it Billy or is it Ving?

I think it's Billy. I mean, I could be the one who displays it. Who's like, you know, sort of in the spirit realm and comes in with like showing that we are spirit walkers. But Billy's the one that's selling it. We need a seller. I'm not a seller. Yeah. Billy, we need you to become the mayor again. Really? Is it time? It's time, Billy. This is it. Okay. I can do it. I'm still a little bit drunk. Perfect. Use it. I'm going to.

So I grab a bunch of like loose papers in the like trash and on the street nearby. I make them look like business folders. I'm like. Folding some garbage. And I'm like, okay. Okay. Let's walk on up then. All right. I guess. We walk in formation behind Billy. Uh-huh. And what is like the building look like? Can we Spout Lore about the building? You could discern realities. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. That. Yeah. Two to six plus wisdom. Minus one because of your thing. Oh, man. Are you serious? Ah. Fuck.

Just five. Okay. Fuck. Well, you get another experience. You get another experience point, which is nice. The building looks normal. Just looks like a boarded up bakery. There's smoke coming out of one of the many chimneys on top of the building. For some reason, it's just out of one.

There are lights on inside that you can see through the windows that aren't boarded up and shadows moving behind like just people walking around and a not very sturdy wooden door set into the wall facing the street. I'm going to loudly knock on that wooden door. And after a few seconds, the door opens and there's a very tall, thin youth wearing like a white shirt. Yeah. Yeah. A white cloth robe with the hair shaved off the top of their head, but a ring of hair around like a friar, like a friar.

And they're wearing like a wooden carved medallion of a confusing shape. And they're like, hello. Good evening. I would like to introduce myself. My name is Billiam and I am here to offer a gift. A gift or something to your leader, Pell Corbin. Hello, Billiam. They dip their head low. I also dip my head low. The hat touches the ground. The hat brushes the dirt in front of him. I am Brother Dubert.

Unfortunately, Brother Corbin is unavailable, but I would be happy to pass any knowledge along to him. Would you just tell him that we have… A spirit guide here to see him? And if he should love to meet us, then give… Send word. Post. Hence. Roll 2d6 plus charisma. Nine. Oh, shit. Yeah, nine. Oh, eight. Maybe I can do a cool little trick. And if he will not listen to the word, maybe he'll listen to this. Poof. Little spirit. Poof. Poof. Damn it. Wow. No, he farts. He farts loudly.

Incredible. I got three. I farted three times. When you say you have a spirit guide and Brother Dubert sees Ving standing behind you looking like a spiritual weirdo, his eyes widen. And he goes, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And he goes, one moment. And the door slams. And you hear, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap. Great job, Ving. I think it worked. Yes. Flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap. Door swings open. Brother Corbin will see you now.

Excellent. Cool. Lead the way. And he does. He leads you in. Tuck, you got to duck a little bit because this door is not big enough for people your size. Yeah. And Tuck's taking the ax off his back. He kind of has to do that in regular size buildings so he doesn't fucking destroy walls and stuff. Actually, when you take the ax off your back. Zuber puts his hands up and he says, please, no weapons. Oh. We are. It's more of a pet than a weapon. It's medicinal. I need to keep this with me.

It's integral. It's integral to the spirit work that we do. This is a tool of spiritual energy forged in the spirit realm itself. He's going to want to see it. Is that true? Forged in the spirit realm. It is actually true. It was forged in the spirit realm. I wish I didn't say, is it true? You forged it. Yeah. Yeah. In the spirit realm, you say? Yes. Very well. But if blood is spilled under this roof, there will be dire consequences for all under this roof. Yes. For sure. Totally.

And Tuck is, he's like, he wants to play the character of the bodyguard. So he goes, of course, my lord. In true bodyguard fashion. And then he bows. He bows. So. And he goes deep that his forehead touches the ground. And when he lifts up, you see the word Tuck on the ground. He's still got all that shit all over his face. Yeah. But now Tuck is gone and it's just dirt. Wow. Just the dirt floor of this bakery. And yeah. Tuck is falling into a Frankenstein type character. Totally.

And Dubert leads you inside and you see sort of what the daydreamers are living in. And it's a very odd. It's a very odd sight. A wide open chamber, like just inside the door. You can see the old mechanisms of a mill disused. There's like clothes hanging on them and stuff like that. The whole building is a wash with like a blue glow. And in the middle of the room is a piece of worm glass.

That's basically a single tube that was like wrapped around itself a bunch of times to create this like big droplet looking thing. And that's hanging from, from the ceiling, like on a rope. Is it like the shape of a fluorescent bulb? Or yeah, it's like a raindrop. But if the raindrop was like curled in on itself, you know what I mean? So it's raindrop shape, but it's made of a tube. That's like, yeah, that's curled up. And is that the shape that's on his medallion? You know what is now? Yeah.

It's like a very complicated raindrop looking shape. And as you come in another figure in a white robe and the haircut identical to Dubert walks up and it has like a little wooden mallet in their hands that they're holding very ceremonially. And they walk up to the droplet of worm glass and they bang it and it glows brighter. Yeah. It's pretty chill vibes in here. We are a house of learning and a place of spiritual connection and growth and union and spiritual union.

And our spirits are united in this choir union. He's repeating himself a lot. Yeah. It seems like whoever's writing copy for their propaganda material. Has gone on vacation or something. And you see there's three groups kind of spread out this in this room of like six people sitting in a circle. And in the middle of the circle is a brazier with like a smoldering pile of herbs and they're inhaling the smoke deeply, like rhythmically inhaling it. And all of their eyes are closed. Does it smell?

Does Tuck recognize the smell from when he ate ghost root that one time? Yeah. Smells pungently of ghost root. And then Tuck's out and under his breath. He's like, maybe breathe shallow. Don't breathe too much. I don't know what advice this is. Don't breathe a lot. Everybody try to hold your breath. I think Tuck's the goatee up over his mouth. Yeah. It pushed the mustache up further. And Tuck also pushes the mustache into his nose. Yeah.

So you got your, your noses are now blocked, causing you to breathe deeply through your mouth. Tuck is going to try and hold his breath for as long as possible. Can I roll for that? Sure. Yeah. Two to six plus constitution. That is ten. Wow. Yeah. Tuck, you start holding your breath and you're honestly fine. I'm going to say you don't need to hold your breath for like 20 minutes, but you're able to breathe in a way that makes it so you're not going to huff up too much of this ghost root smoke.

Okay, cool. Yeah. Is anybody else going to roll or are you just going to take your chances? Undiscerning some realities. Okay. Two to six plus wisdom. Ooh, seven. Yeah. So you get one question. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. What should we be on the lookout for? Okay, cool.

So something that you are struck with as you come in here is Jake was saying and Dan was telling you these dudes are gangsters. This is like they're selling illicit substances. And in here you're like this feels like a fucking temple. So what you are seeing is not all that is going on for sure. There has to be maybe a storeroom, maybe an armory. Oh, yeah. Quarter store.

For their soldiers like a classic when you break down a wall in a movie and there's a bunch of people in there like hazmats yeah counting money and making drugs and beakers and stuff yeah so you're loading guns you're like where the fuck is all their stuff like this is just like a monastery is the vibe in here like are there strung out people lying around I think I missed that or is it just like strung out is strong like it's just like dan was describing it in terms that he understands but there are people that are like ving you recognize this they're in deep spiritual meditation like and they are uniting yeah exactly they're communing in a way but you even like your supernatural connection to the spiritual realm you can tell that these people don't have a natural connection so the vibe in here is very weird it feels very strained forced yeah yeah I gave you guys so much information on that one question but yeah so that's kind of the situation that you're experiencing right now as dubert is leading you through the uh through the room so this way please and uh brother corbin will see you uh sounds very good thank you now before you go in I would caution you to know what you offer and to offer it quickly brother corbin is not one to mince words and is in a dire state so please do not attempt to be duplicitous or there will be complications billy doesn't understand most of those words so he's like certainly absolutely absolutely yes get for the voice absolutely yes so he leads you through this chamber uh down a corridor to like tuck you know this is where the um the oven would usually be like these huge clay ovens that just have like big wide openings they put the bread blah blah blah uh and he opens the chamber there's no light in here except for like a dull red smolder in the shadows and you can see the cavernous opening of the chamber and you can see the cavernous opening of the chamber and you can see the cavernous opening of the oven and you can see a figure sitting in a chair inside the oven with a ring of braziers burning ghost root oh whoa man he's got a bad and dubert stays outside and you hear close the door close the door door closes behind you heavy thunk it's dark in here the only light is like the smoldering of the braziers the axe too would be glowing right oh yeah I guess the axe is glowing okay so it casts like the vibrant light and it's like a light that's like a light that's like a purple amethyst energy across the room and you see a very unwell looking dwarf kind of lounging in the chair long light colored hair it looks like if you had to guess in the purple light that it would be like bone white looks very brittle a scraggly white beard long fingernails maybe yeah totally long fingernails big dark bags under the eyes and is just staring at you with a little bit of hope when he sees vignes he's just like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I understand that you can help me what do you need my spirit is unwell what happened I attempted to make contact with the other side and I angered something you don't know what I was cast back before I got a clear look but it was old and it was ancient those are the same thing but I hope it imparts on you how old it was taku has been holding his breath starts laughing uncontrollably inside of his mouth you see the like once you start laughing you see the like hands grip the sides of the chairs this is no time for jests please forgive my bodyguard he is not the most smartest of the bulbs I am stupid my lord a joke I was told three weeks ago what was that what was that joke uh did big actually just fucking ask uh it was um a man walks into a bar with a horse and the horse turns to the man and says I have a long face ving points him to see how stupid he is that's how stupid he is you can hear you can hear corbin go like very well can you help me I feel my spirit being rent from my body each day is there anything that you can tell us about this ancient thing what you didn't say anything about this ancient thing what you didn't say anything about this ancient thing what you didn't say anything about this ancient thing what you didn't say anything about this ancient thing what makes you think it's after you I'll gaze upon me I went in a hail young man of merely three centuries and I came out this I am dying and the ghost roots keeping you alive you think it keeps the connection open long enough for my spirit to remain tethered to my body if it were not for this root it would be removed entirely I fear his spirit is leaking out that's what he that's what he thinks oh it's like being pulled back into the spirit realm yeah kind of so he went to the spirit realm something ancient saw him and basically grabbed him as he was trying to escape and he's been using ghost root to maintain a hold on his spirit ever since yeah that's his prevailing theory yeah I mean like if you have anything that you think would help you get more information then that would be a good place to start I feel like Spout Lore might be our best move yeah I should not roll it though with a minus one no I'll roll it 2d6 plus intelligence uh-oh fuck fuck fuck what is it I got a five wait you do have the hold that lets you turn a failure into a success do we think that billy can do it for other people yeah yeah that'd be sick is this worth turning a failed roll into a seven to nine yes I've got the ring on so I can feel what what thing is doing I feel it's like it's really hard in this room I think because of all the drugs in the air yeah all the ghost that's what I was thinking earlier too yeah ving can't actually get a hold of spirit yeah so I give like I give him like a little like soulful nudge uh-huh the right way like no you're that's not you're kind of entering the shadow world like get out there okay yeah totally um cool so ving you are just like trying to drop into that spirit site to gain a connection on this and um maybe it's the ghost route maybe it's sort of just everything that you've been dealing with over the last little while maybe it's very out of practice totally and what you feel instead of that familiar spirit energy is that horrific void that you felt like a year ago in the fanny pack when you were attempting to commune with what's on the other side of the danger room this does not feel like spiritual energy to you whoa this is something bigger the demon billy conducted demons oh yeah um and yeah billy you feel a presence in this room hello so you you like speak out I guess do they hear it no tucking vinger just standing there ving is trying to connect but feeling this like cold void rolling over him tuck is just hanging out tuck's been holding his breath since we walked in yeah even when he was talking he wasn't breathing in somehow wow you look up at tuck and his eyes are bloodshot from holding his breath he's doing the like let's wrap this up but billy also like feels kind of far away right now and he feels that like kind of cold wash over him hello you could be so much more better than you are where are you think of all the things you could achieve if you would just try what there is nothing that you cannot do if you put your mind to your goals you can overcome anything is this ambition just allow yourself free yourself from the expectations of those around you what do you want from pell I want what everyone wants more he is so much more than his circumstance you are so much more than your circumstance do you wish to have more do you wish to fulfill your potential I don't do I have to like resist this or something I honestly don't think billy does like I don't if I had to guess I don't think that billy is a subject possession in the same way that a person is so this demon's probably just like come on just let me in and you can just be like no dice you're wasting your time I just need to know how long have you been here he has not accepted me yet but he will and I will help him the ghost route is starting to affect all of you by the way like you you you're all breathing in a lot of it and it's starting to fuck with your perceptions how do I shake out of this how do we get out of here um oh yeah good question uh I just like I'm going for the door uh okay defy danger constitution to like move basically oh seven yeah so you're able to just force your way towards the door and you're shaking yourself out of this like connection to whatever this thing is yeah and just banging on the door hey do do dirt dubert let me out let me out and dubert opens the door and a bunch of the ghosts are just whoops out of the room and it's a little bit easier to breathe now thing stayed in the room yeah he wants to try and commune okay cool oh tuck left tuck followed billy out because he's not gonna let his kid just walk around a fucking drug den on his own yeah what what what is what is wrong with him can you help him let me talk to tuck first very well and he steps away from you to give you a moment he talk and then tuck like leans down in front of billy like you do with like a little kid and he's like hey buddy what's up what was happening in there oh there's a lot of smoke in the ground I breathe in a lot of it because I forgot to hold my breath but I think there's like a demon in there I think that's what's bothering pell and I was trying to figure out like who it was and it kept saying things like you could be more I I want more uh you could do so much more with who you are okay I want to use bardic lore now gods and their servants I want to know what fucking demon this is okay I think that tuck has heard a story because demon possession is very common in mccall it happens all the time yeah but tuck remembers hearing a story about a shoemaker who lived in the upper ward a woman named mccall and a woman named mccall and a woman named mccall and a woman named mccall and a woman named mccall and a woman named mccall and a woman named mccall and a woman named a couple hundred years ago who became like the shoe baron of mccall like one day they were working just a humble shoemaker with their own cobbler and the next week he had a discount shoe warehouse his name was of all kinds discounted to below market prices his name was reebok payless but yeah it was the kind of thing like sooner or later every cobbler in the city was owned by this shoemaker and then they had cobblers everywhere and eventually spread themselves so thin and made so many enemies that they were like stabbed to death at like 55 wow what a low stakes version of like that narcos show yeah totally like exactly but uh it's high-profile hypothesized by the church and by demonologists that he was a vessel for the icon of ambition oh I knew it you got it you got it right on the nose and then tug high fives billy good job billy thanks figuring it out I know you didn't even need any help I guess not but you know what it's good to have help yeah good it took hugs I don't know why I made this so emotional because I would nab the room like oh god it's fucking stinking oh my god they're hugging what I miss it's the demon of ambition ving it was talking to me it was saying like you could be you could be more than what you are weird stuff like that uh duber like rushes up when you're all done like you're all talking and he's like oh excuse me did I hear you say a demon yeah yeah a demon is attempting to possess brother corbin that's what it looks like like it's not quite in him yet but it's it's trying it's it's trying to consume him so I don't know do you guys have any saffron I say to duber uh perhaps some in the in the kitchens but it's it's very expensive I have some in my bandolier oh you have saffron I got pure saffron fucking sick can you make a tea out of this I suppose yes I could go put a kettle on is there a specific recipe and you realize you don't know the fucking recipe you know that you could make you could make a saffron tea which is just steeping saffron in hot water but it might be a good idea to make a saffron tea but I don't know if you guys have any saffron tea I do the same thing but it might be good for now we could try it yeah like considering the fact that corbin hasn't been fully possessed it might be enough to like shunt it out yeah okay very well I'll uh I'll go put a kettle on does anybody want anything while I'm in the kitchens oh I would love a hot chocolate if you have anything I would I can mix you up a hot chocolate that'll knock your fucking socks off I would love a hot dog if you have one I can see what I can do uh damn it I was going to say hot dog too yeah make that two yeah and he rushes off and you you can take him you know if he takes he comes back with a teapot after a few minutes uh with a steaming teapot holding it over uh with a with a wicker handle I'll put the saffron inside all right and just um so um does this gonna he's just holding a teapot in front of his face I mean like you gotta let it steep and then when it's done you give him the tea to drink okay how how I don't know like 5-10 minutes for an herbal tea Yeah Okay so he just stands there for 10 minutes with the teapot in front of him I'm gonna try and make small talk With him So where are you from I'm from McCall Cool cool Where are you from The principalities The Everwood Alley Yeah I knew a halfling His name was Jeb Greenleaf Did you know him Yeah actually I did Fuck really Wow How is Jeb I haven't seen him in a while I think he still runs that store Wow Small world huh Is it funny when that happens I know it's amazing That's crazy one time I ran into a guy Right outside of the store Named Dan Derglot Who I used to work for in the principalities Wow Cool Colonel Dan Is what people call them Do you know him Name doesn't ring a bell That would have been crazy though right guys Yeah if we all knew Dan That would have been crazy I can't get over your new Jeb That's amazing Anyways I think the tea's done Great So here you go And he gives you like a cup and pours some tea in it Yes I'll bring this to pal Hopefully this works We pick below up I pick him up Where the smoke isn't quite so dense Thank you And you go in and guaranteed Is like What have you learned Um well There may or may not be a demon In this room In this room A demon Trying to possess you My lord You don't have to do that I How did this happen I think it's the ghost root That you were messing with Kind of like You know You know You know You know You know You know You know You know You really shouldn't be doing that The spirit realm And the other realms You don't want to mix them up too much I think whatever you were doing Was probably Opened you up to possession More than most And it's also Pal Not to freak you out But it's that shoe demon Probably I am unfamiliar It's the demon That makes you feel Like a demon That's the demon of shoes This is how Tuck interpreted the thing Yeah It's you know Not the scariest one But They sensed that you were looking for something else By going into the spirit realm I was Yeah You gave up a part of yourself And they're trying to fill it Is this Punishment For reaching too high Maybe by doing it By trying to take a shortcut Walking in the spirit world Takes a lot more than Huffing this shit And kicks over a brazier And he coughs a bunch What have I done?

Can you help me?

Yeah Um Here Drink this tea And his uh His fingernails like Clack against the ceramic As he takes the cup in his hand I wanna kinda just like Wrap the The saffron rope around him gently Around his shoulders And his waist He like shivers And he convulses a little bit Okay No I'm sorry I feel It's hold Is tightening This might hurt A lot He sips the tea No You gotta chug it Chug it He chugs it Chug Chug Chug Chug Chug Chug Chug Chug Chug Chug And he chugs it You do that thing Where he's sipping it Like dumb and dumber When uh He's trying to give him The laxative And he tips it back Further Here you go buddy And then we put the teapot In his mouth And we just He's like I I don't know if it Worked And then he starts convulsing Flapping back and forth In his chair He falls on the ground And he's like Kicking his legs He kicks over a brazier Oh I make sure there's no dangers around And you feel like The air Is vibrating Basically Like you can feel The The Atmosphere in the room Changing Be gone Shoe spirit I think someone's gonna have to Roll something To find Like Finalize it Getting out of here How would you do this Yeah I could do For the blood god Yeah To get TLC To try and like Push whatever it is Out of here Cool Alright Uh You are Initiated in the old ways The ways of sacrifice Choose something Your gods Or the ancestors Spirits Or totem Value Blood Gold Bones Or the like When you sacrifice Those things As per your rights And rituals Roll plus wisdom On a ten plus The GM will grant you Insight Or a boon To help you On a seven to nine The sacrifice Will not be enough And the gods Will take of your flesh As well Okay So Tuck He pulls one of the Obsidian coins Out of his backpack The dark guard Coins And he like Flicks it Into the air Then he takes TLC And goes to like Smash it As it's spinning Yeah totally Cool Just try to look Cool as fuck Cause he feels like Looking cool Is a good way To push demons away Uh huh Oh Holy shit Wow Is that two sixes It's a Five and a six Hell yeah Uh plus My wisdom Is A zero So Lucky Lucky I got a living Hell yeah Okay Um I would like you To describe How this What this looks like When the demon Is like cast out For good Um So it's like Whenever Tuck uses For the blood god The amethyst Kind of glows a bit In the axe And like You can hear TLC Uh So what do they say Uh It's like You flick the coin Up in the air And you Goes to slow motion Yeah You And you baseball Swing at the coin As it's like Woof Woof Woof Spinning through the air And uh You hear Yeah And on the spike You can see Tuck You can see Three small figures Riding it Like a cowboy Hanging onto the spike Like one's hanging onto the spike Then one's hanging onto That one's feet And the other one's Holding onto that one's feet And it's like Yeah Amethyst Stone Copper And they're like Yeah Can they be riding Like three dudes On a motorcycle Like holding each other's waist Totally Yeah Yeah Gripping each other Around the waist And they just have like Their hair is streaming Yeah Devil horns Holding up the horns They're just like Fuck yeah bro And the The blade connects With the obsidian coin And I feel them Cause Tuck isn't Vast dexterous But I feel them Kind of like Guide the axe Yeah Like we're doing it together And then the coin shatters When you shatter the coin That energy that you feel In the atmosphere For just a second Spikes Whoa And you get to the point Where you get this feeling Of intense dread That thing is described For just a second Everybody feels it And you feel Almost a second Where you feel like You lost something Whoa Like some deep loss Happened inside you Whoa And then Everything in the room That you're like Wearing and holding Gets sucked towards the oven The door shatters Off of its hinges And like the pieces Of the door Move towards the chimney And everything just gets Sucked up And out of the room And as like The wind is sort of Blowing up Like Kind of like The door Smashes off its hinges Pieces of Like the braziers Like kind of Explode upwards Uh The coin itself Like It's shattered It's like And then it kind of Sucks back in And reforms Whoa And then drops To the ground It's like the only thing That's not sucked up And Interesting As it drops To the ground It's bone white now Whoa Whoa That's so cool I don't know any Of what that means I don't know But maybe it trapped A demon inside of it You just gave me So much fucking homework Cool That's fucking cool Yeah That's man That's so cool Uh Yeah And it's Quiet now And the air is like Clear And Corbin Pell is lying On the fucking ground Mm-hmm Groaning Eyes closed And uh Dubert Pokes his head in Through the shattered door What What happened Is everyone okay He seems Okay He's still alive And he rushes up Brother Corbin And he rushes up And kneels next to him And like You know Checks his vitals basically Checks that he's still breathing Opens one of his eyes Peeks at the pupil He's gonna need a lot of care And Food He will No ghost root No more Yeah no You guys fucking clear Out of this building And you get him To the deep ward He needs medical care Very well We You have You have done a great service To a good man I'm so thankful And he gets up And he uh Rushes out of the room And you hear him go like Alright everybody Pack it up He's like Shaking people He was doing a voice The whole time He's shaking people out Of their like reveries And stuff like that And going You hear him open a door And you hear a bunch of coins Clanging And he's like We're done We're not drug dealers anymore And you hear A whisper From Corbin on the ground He's like shifting a little bit Groaning What is it You get close And he just says I'm not a drug dealer Thank you And that's where we're gonna end it for this week I'm your game master Sean O'Hara With me as always Playing Ving The half elf druid Paul Oppers Take care Playing Tacoma Dome The barbarian Abdul Aziz So long And playing Fat Billy The halfling thief Jessica Tai Bye Thanks to Erin Reid For our amazing intro and outro music As always Thank you to our incredible Patreon supporters All around the world For supporting us However they do And thank you to Meme Friend on Discord For the name Pellin Guaranteed Corbin Sick Wow If you want to give us some names for the show You know Become a patron at the $10 level And hop in Hither and Yawn On our Discord And drop some names If you want to help the show out Check us out on Patreon Patreon.com Slash Spout Lore Or at Spout Lore Most places And maybe shoot us a review on iTunes We would really appreciate it Catch you next time And so ends the tale of Adventures 3 Who tried the best They can Though dumb and scared And lost they be For time's abreast In revelry And though our journey May be like A conclusion We will not leave you Without a resolution Return next week To hear some more Whilst you commute Or do your chores And for you I gladly Spout Lore

Hey, Tuck here telling you to donate to speltlore.com slash money please or patreon.com slash speltmore for more of this I'm doing an act out but you can't see it below the table show me your hands right now no, I'm still doing it Gather round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight fingers have health, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart best and brightest they may not be but their friendship outweighs their smarts so gather round friends and listen close for the tale's about to start hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers hi everybody playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz hello and playing Fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai hello when last we left our heroes they investigated the temple of the bringers of the black flame meeting in the course of their investigation the Djinn Ninth who was also investigating the dark church to kind of figure out what was going on between the torch of McCall, the dark guard and how that would work out and how that would relate to the sort of global situation in general after that Ving communed with the spirits of the church engaging in a vision of a dark ritual from centuries ago in which members of a druidic offshoot consumed the blood of magic users to allegedly take their power it was pretty dark yeah it was pretty dark for a bit also you never said it was specifically of magic users in the episode ah that might have just been in your head maybe it was just a dream maybe it was just a dream maybe it was just a dream maybe it was just a dream maybe it was just a dream maybe it was maybe I shouldn't have revealed that no we need more info uh yeah so that is that's something that happened and uh that is where we find our heroes now I feel like you blew past the most important thing which is we found a dragon dragon yeah found the dragon uh uh Black Spire from Night's Embrace of Black Spire Rises forming a very quick and some might say foolhardy bond with an extremely dangerous animal which you uh have convinced you to do you have convinced yourselves you are now aligned with Tuck has already given himself a Black Spire tattoo and it doesn't look good and also isn't permanent so uh huh how is it temporary?

He drew it on with a sharpie marker he just has a sharpie on him uh and we talked about it we're gonna we're gonna do a little bit of a jump ahead so I would like you all to answer to me how did you get Black Spire into a lane spring so that you could get Black Spire into a lane spring without causing an international incident what do you mean without causing an incident it was an incident all right we can flash to uh Farah's office Farah's quarters in the library there's people running by her door frantically panicking people are losing their minds papers flying up in the air for some reason there's shouting she's got her hands steepled in front of her face and she says I'm not going to do that I'm not going to do that I'm not going to do that I'm not going to do that I'm not going to do that I'm not going to do that all right I would like you to explain to me as quickly as possible how you found a dragon removed it from this buried temple of which you speak and then got it all the way back to the library and Tuck is crying he's like Farah please he followed me home and he's my best friend now and all I wanted to have was a pet dragon and you need to I'm sorry I've always said I couldn't have one because I wasn't responsible enough, but I killed the torch of McCall.

And I feel like this is the least he could do. She puts up her hands and she says, first thing I never told you that you could not have a pet dragon. This is a conversation we haven't even come close to having any point in the short amount of time we've known each other. The dragon being here besides being alarming is not a problem per se. Awesome. We have a great number of librarians who would love nothing more than the opportunity to study a live dragon. So it may remain in the library.

And Tuck goes, and he wipes his snotty nose across his mouth. And he's like, I swear we'll walk it every day and feed it also. Again, this is something that the library is more than happy to take care of. You're not, this is not a stray dog, Tacoma, don't. This is a dragon. She's looking at the three of you expectantly. I was actually like pressed up against the window looking outside with like my binoculars. And like, I have a lot of ash on my hands from the journey.

So I turn around and like, wait, what, what was the question? Billy's got glasses. Yeah. Do you have black rings? There was, there was no question, Billy. Um, the dragon can remain here. We have facilities. This library is enormous. As you might expect, we have facilities capable of giving ample room to, what did you say? Its name was? Black Spire. It's from Knights Embrace of Black Spire Rises is his full name. And he loves to eat obsidian. And he's cool as shit. He's so cool.

And he likes pushing around nerds. And he likes hard death metal. Music. I imagine. And he, he pukes lava sometimes, but it's fine. Once you said his name is Black Spire from Knights Embrace of Black Spire Rises. She grabs a pad of paper and starts writing furiously. She's like, you might be the only people that I'm aware of that has spoken directly to a dragon and learned anything of dragon language. This is astounding. Oh, uh, I mean, yeah, we've got tons of dragon. Language.

Do you want to talk to him? Talk to him? Yeah. Her eyes light up. Like she's 11 years old. She's like, I, I would love nothing more, but I, he's in the room. Yo, what's up? I imagine he's like outside. I'm watching. I'm watching all the librarians like flock around him and they're trying to feed him like those idiots. Like he's not going to eat books. He's not a nerd. Yeah. Okay.

If you, if Farah has a little glass, like, uh, like a little glass window set into the wall that Billy's like, he's looking through and through it far on the other side, you can see black spire in the entry, like where that, um, the atrium kind of zone, like glass roof. We have with sunstone roof. Yeah. With the sunstone roof where the thing that you ride comes down and you get out into it. Cause he had to, he's huge.

He had to like force his way through, but now he's just on the floor in the atrium and there are librarians all around him. I like the idea that Billy was looking at it and he saw librarians writing in books and he's like, you can't feed them books. He's stupid. And I'm also, if it helps, like you picture the scene, I've pushed up my chair up to the like door where the window is. And I'm standing on like the top of the chair, like looking out, like so not smart about this.

And you can see him and he's in his like defensive posture. Like they're all around him trying to move forward a little bit. They're waving. Like it's fine. His tails up above his head, like a scorpion, like moving back and forth. He's lashing at people. Yeah. What's he saying? Uh, being, you can hear him from the door. Get away from me. Fucking nerds. Don't touch me. Nerds get away from me. Don't touch me. Where are my bros? Dragons are people too.

It's like the kind of thing you can't hear him. And then you open the door and you hear like, wait for my, where my bros at? Get away from you. He's fine. Um, yeah. So far, I would love to talk to him, but she first suggests that you, you all eat and maybe wash up because you're disgusting. What are you talking about? I'm so clean. The each of you is covered in a varying amount of a phosphorescent goo. It's mostly worm cum. Okay. First things first. It's not goo, it's cum. No, no, no.

Uh, master librarian mimes and fixing his glasses. I'm, I'm assuming that, you know, that that blue liquid is not purely, they're seminal fluid, but so you admit that some of it is seminal fluid. Some of it is. Yes, most certainly. What is your, um, what's your next step now that you know what, you know, our next step is to go downstairs and get those nerds away from black. All right, please. Then please lead the way. Okay. We go downstairs. Yeah.

And you go down to like the lower level, like the lowest level of the atrium where black spires, he's filling up the whole center corridor, like between where the stacks start. And he is just like, Oh, chomping at people, like trying to get them to step back. He's got his little wings flared up above his head and they're kind of shaking. He's like, get away from my wings. Look at me. I'm just trying to intimidate them with breathing fire. Yeah. And you hear a noise.

He might've been way too scared to do it when you guys first met him, but he's making this, like, it sounds like a rain stick almost like it's like a cascading clacking sound. And you can tell he's like snapping his scales together to make it like, uh, uh, make a like shaking sound. So cool. Is there any onyx around here? Can we bring him a snack? Not around here. Like not in, you're in a library right now. Yeah. But if Billy, if you brought some, if you brought like a bone, I don't know.

I grabbed a bunch of like balled up paper that from like the waste basket. You could switch through it. Yeah. I'm going to try to switch through it. That's okay. Yeah, totally. Sure. Great. I think he's just telling them to back off and to let them know that's okay. And tech's just pushing nerds. Yeah. Get away from, Oh yeah. I only got six. Okay. I embarrassed myself in front of black spire. I mean, if someone wants to aid, yeah, somebody could aid.

Um, Oh, it's just, maybe he's like talking about Larry Terry and Chad. Oh yeah. You could just be boosting me up. You made people out of rocks. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm just like so stressed out right now. Cause I'm like, for some reason, like rock and like paper. So different. Yeah. You need scissors in the middle there. Yeah. You think Billy's a little gun shy because a bunch of people are watching. Yeah. He has fair watching. All the librarians have turned at us.

I'm like, I'm not used to like all this attention, such a wallflower. Uh, so Vang 2d6 plus bond to aid. Nice. Eight. Yeah. So that makes, that makes a Billy, uh, seven, which means that, yeah, you're able to turn these little crumbled up pieces of paper into a little bit of obsidian. It's just a couple of pieces. Yeah. That's the thing is you're going to have to figure out a food, a source for him. Well, below the library, there's all that. Yeah. There's the mine. Yeah.

If we find them a giant skeleton, I could eat that. Oh yeah. If you got them into the mine, he'd be able to explore and bones and stuff, but you'd have to convince the library that it's a good idea to let a dragon desecrate a ruin. Sounds like something we would do anyways. Yeah. So that's something to consider. So Billy, you've got a little bit of obsidian in your hand. Yeah. So I, I give it to you guys. Yeah. I just go up, walk up with, Hey, man, I don't, I don't know about this place.

Like there's a bunch of dweebs around and they're getting real touchy and it's Tuck's taking care of them. Yeah. Tuck is like just pushing nerds being like, give them room. He's cool. Just give them room. You nerds back off. The walk here was like bad enough. Like it was so bright and it took forever and it's, I'm so tired. You're such a good dragon. Thank you. Inside another place. And it smells gross out here. And I just, why I should just go back to my hole.

Man, there is so much more where this came from. Onyx and adventures with your friends. Us. You keep saying Onyx. Is that different from obsidian? Obsidian. Yeah. Onyx is a stone. Yeah. Okay. Obsidian is like a glass. Okay. Obsidian. What does he like again? Onyx obsidian obsidian, but also, you know what? Spout Lore interchangeable. Who cares? All right. So he's like, what do you like? More? What do you mean? Oh, I mean, this library is built around minds. Uh huh. Obsidian minds. Um, okay.

Pretend I know what that is. There's like, uh, it's like the big gulp of obsidian. It's like a huge pile of delicious food. Okay. All right. It's like the Costco of, he doesn't know the word obsidian. He just knows it's like big crunch. Yeah. And he also doesn't know what a mine is. Oh, he doesn't, but he knows what seven 11 is. It's a big gulp. That's a big gulp. So I'm trying to talk to him on his terms. We're talking to literally like a homeschooled kid.

His parents also didn't give a shit about his education at all. So he knows nothing. He is a fucking dolt. Like he could, he's so, uh, unfamiliar with the world. You like black snacks. There's plenty more black snacks. All right. I mean, fine. How long is it going to take? I don't know. Not long. Yeah. And plus, I don't know. You can beat up some of these nerds if you want. I just wonder, it seems like these people are kind of freaked out that I'm around.

So I'm just wondering like, how am I going to like get, am I like rare or something? Are they like unfamiliar with what my deal is? Can we, can Billy and I talk to him? Yeah. I was thinking this might be a good opportunity. I might, a thing that the Chamberlain rings might be able to help with. Oh, that's a good idea. Like that. Ving can kind of put you guys on the same frequency. And he can using the Chamberlain ring. He can like, commune with the whispers of his friends or. Yeah. Oh yeah.

This is the thing you guys figured out on the walk over. We've done it before. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. So we're all holding hands. And no, you're just wearing the rings. Yeah. You're not to hold hands. And you guys are the only three people. We can hold hands. Hold hands for moral support. Keep grabbing Billy's hand. Yeah. Cause Billy keeps getting too close. And Black Spire hasn't realized how little Billy is. It's like a cat, right? Billy's right in front of him. So he can't even see him.

He's so small. Billy's holding his hand. And then you hear him like huffing a breath through his nose. And he goes, Oh right. Hey, little guy. Almost smooshed you there. Sorry. And Tuck, like Tuck looks at Black Spire and he's like, you are rare. You're the most rare and beautiful thing that these people have ever seen. And you know what that means? They'll give you as much of the black crunch as you want. The black crunch is infinite from these fucking nerds.

So, nerds have infinite black crunch. They have so much black crunch. And they said they would feed you and also walk you sometimes. So we don't have to. Nerds. Nerds have a thing that I want and they will willingly give it to me. Yeah. Because you're so rare and cool. And everyone thinks you're rare and cool. This is how bullies are made. I've only heard tales of such things. If this is true, this is truly a place that I would be happy. To stay.

But my concern is that I will not be able to probably leave very much. Yeah. You can come and go as you please. Okay. No one's going to cause any problems for me. Could he climb up to the open that, you know, like the top of the atrium is like kind of a glass ceiling kind of thing. Can he get, can he climb up there on his own? They actually have like chambers in the library that are for studying animals. So they have like basically an enclosure, that he can stay in.

I don't like him in an enclosure. This is us talking to a librarian. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, okay. Something for you to maybe consider next time you bring a gigantic magical animal here is where. Friend. Friend. Sure. Whatever is where he is going to stay. And also if he leaves, people will see a gigantic dragon walking around. What's wrong with that? They exist. How rare are dragons? Sean O'Hara asking the players. Very rare. They're very rare.

So like that's, that was one concern I kind of had is like he leaves that cave. He walks around. He's now a dragon in the wild. What if someone hunts him? Like you think someone might try and go, Oh, poachers. We didn't think about that yet. Oh no. Dragon hunters were a huge thing. Oh yeah. Yeah. We can't. Black Spire. I'm so sorry. You cannot like just wander around. Like you're, you're that special that people might hurt you and we don't want people to hurt you.

We wanted to know that you're happy eating your snacks. I really appreciate that love one. See no names. Have you told them your names? No, no little one, big one, skinny one. That's all I need to know. Okay. Well, I mean it was pretty cool seeing the desert with y'all. Y'all and it's cool seeing this place. I guess I like my hole, but this is fine. This whole place is just a bunch of holes and you can go into those holes and out of them. Whatever you want. Whoa. Go in and out all day. Wow.

You want to leave? You get out of the hole. You want to go back in? You go back in. There's dry holes. There's wet holes. Sometimes they're dark. Sometimes they're not. Sometimes they're cold. Sometimes they're warm. Wow. And these holes are full of nerds. Nerds. Nerds. Nerds. Nerds. Who love you. Who love you. And we'll bring you black snacks. So stay in our holes, Black Spire. All right. Okay. Holes it is.

And one of the, the, uh, librarian you were talking to just before it was like, we decided that it might be best for him to also have access to the mine. Yes, he would like that very much. He consumes obsidian, correct? Yeah. Yeah. At an alarming rate. So he will likely be eating the skeletons in the mine. I think he would very much like to. Okay.

Um, there, I would say that I have to pass this, uh, up the chain, but you are apparently close personal friends with the two highest links in this chain. So whatever I say would be disregarded basically immediately. So this guy knows what's up. I suppose. I think we'll start making preparations to get him into the mines. Sick. Yeah. Black Spire is gonna love this. And also if you could like make a saddle for him, that is a good set to go now. No way. Come back. I want to describe this set.

I have a bunch of drugs. Come back. He walks away. He's not interested. I have a rough mock up. Gotta get this fucking saddle made. You basically get told that they're going to figure out a way.

Now that you guys have like really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, then why don't you just go get the skeletons that we found in the fucking desert and just use those? He was going to eat those anyway. So it's just an even trade.

It's super easy to work out smartest people in the world. And then we all high five. It's a very confusing high five based on varying heights. So it's kind of angled down. Oh, sorry, Billy. Down, down, low. Do this again. Do it slow. And then this is. That works really good. Actually works really well. That's cool. Nice job. Sean, take a picture. I will. Stop moving it. That's for sure. Yes. Power. Listeners, this is an incredible innovation in handshakes and high fives.

Also, this is kind of like the handshake version of the coexist bumper sticker. That's true. Heroes at work. Yeah, we better not be making like a Nazi symbol with this. There's one. Every kind of every kind. Every shade. That's what he meant. Woman. That's what he meant. But I didn't want to say it. Okay. So, yeah, Black Spire's situation is kind of taken care of. He'll have free reign of the of the giant minds and you can visit him. Come and go as you please.

There is going to be a team of librarians that will be trying to study him just at all times. Good luck. I was thinking about every time you've come back. Come back to the library with some casual statement. You've given like 20 people three years of work. And yeah, so Perel meets up with you later and is like, so what now? I mean, we need to get you your magic back. Broadly. Yeah, that's sort of. I'm just starting at the bottom. Yeah, totally. To the top.

We were thinking next step is go back to McCall and try and track down the Medjay. Yeah. The dark druids. Right. Point of order. The Medjay are not dark druids. The dark druids are, as far as we can tell, an old sect, an old offshoot. The Medjay are centuries ahead of that. All right. Less blood sacrifice and more elemental connection. And they're still pretty dark. I mean, don't start with that. They dress in robes. Don't lead with that when you see them is all I'm saying.

The one guy had that crown of hair that the druids. Used to have like a monk, a dancer or whatever, like the hole in the middle. This was just natural. He was going bald and you kept bringing it up and he was like, stop bringing it up. He was going bald in both directions. So he just had a circlet of hair. He was going bald from the top and the bottom. Poor guy. Yeah. So we go to McCall. Do you remember anything about where you might find them? Any sort of lead?

They found me when I was working in the sticks. They came to me one time when I was on a shift. So they seem to know the area over there. Maybe somebody in the sticks has seen them. That seems as good a place as any to start. We do have contacts in the sticks. Yeah. I mean, I think the jackals, we can probably talk to Jake and have him not kill us. The dwarves that work out there too. Yeah. The urchins too, if we wanted to. Yeah. Shia's apparently in the city. Right.

She's going to go back there. Let's get everybody on the lookout. Sure. All right. I was going to say that I thought of something that was in the bathroom. The Ving had one piece of information because he's the one who was supposed to. When they signaled him where to be, what he was told was to look for the black flame, the shadow of the flame. And there's this part of the sticks where it's all lit up at night. And during the day, the fire burns always to light because it's in the darker part.

And one of them is out and it just seems like it's always out. But you can see that there's still a flame. There's a shadow behind that one. The fire's missing, but there's a shadow of a flame. Whoa. Nice. So. And that was just happened to be like, they had to look for where that was. It just happened to be there. So we can go check out where that last one was, but it might not be there. That's. We should do that. They said I'd like to look for the shadow of the flame. Where do we start?

I guess you guys would just kind of hop on whatever the library equivalent of the bus to McCall is. We do have that bus. We've taken it before. Yeah. And they blindfold us and we're like, oh God, it gets so carsick. And it's like a centaur cart, like a centaur takes you back to McCall. So it, you know, a couple hours later. You get dumped back in the city and you're immediately hit with like the hustle and bustle of city life. There are people everywhere. Oh, right.

We haven't been back in the city since we destroyed the light guard. Yeah. Just be cool. Everyone at casual for Billy. I will say, Billy, you are struck by how loud it is. Like being such a little peaceful boy. You're like, I forgot how fucking cacophonous the city can be. It's a lot to take in. Yeah. People recognize us. Uh, I think McCall's too busy. Yeah. You know, like it over time, maybe somebody will recognize you, but like you, you're kind of hidden in the press of people. Oh, thank God.

Yeah. What, uh, what area of the city where we dropped off in? Uh, you are dropped off stepside in the upper ward. So you get like, just put in the most generic low class part of town. They don't want to draw any attention to the comings and goings of the library. So you're just, uh, you're actually pretty close to where, um, cash used to live. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, actually, now that I think about it, is it a good idea that we're in this neighborhood? Probably not. Do the food place. Wait, no, hold on. Double. Let me think about it. If the torch is out of the picture and no one's leading the light guard and the light guard aren't looking for us anymore. Are we in danger here? No, right? It's like the opposite. Our main enemy is gone. Yeah. Oh, I, all right. And he starts digging in his little money pouch. He's like, I'm going to get so many sandwiches.

Uh, yeah, you guys just figured out that we're not in danger. Please. You guys just grab some food. Yeah. Just chill for a bit. Oh yeah. Uh, yeah. So it's a coin and you can sit at the table. Like you're just sitting at a table in the sun. People bustling around you. Like if you liked living in McCall, this is like primo McCall vibes. What kind of sandwiches did everybody? I think the falafel ones. Cause they're the cheese. Yeah.

They come with so many different accoutrements like pickled radishes, sand cabbage, purple mustard, uh, milk beer. Wow. Paul just created so many foods. Yeah. Keep going. Yeah. Keep, I want five more bread toast. That's no, hold on. No, you got to do one again. Um, um, um, there's, um, cloth salad. There's, um, cactus. Uh, cactus. Something. Oh yeah. Cactus. Something. That's the chef surprise. Yeah. To choose a special. Today's cactus. Something.

I found something in our fridge and I threw it in with the cactus. If you want it, it's cheap. It might hurt you. You might get high. And Perel's just sitting there very happily. He's got like a little cup of coffee and he's like ripping bits off his bean sandwich and throwing them in his mouth. He's just like, so now that we're like, not now that we're not in danger, I feel great now. But what's the plan? We're going to go talk to Jake and the jackals. Yeah.

Or we could track down Shia, but that's a lot of work to go to the lower ward. Well, Billy gets people to approach him all the time. Oh yeah. Sorry. And I'm on my like second or third plate of sandwiches. I'm just like shoveling them in. You've had over 42 falafel balls. Oh, it's great. It's nice that they make them really small cause it's just like easier to eat. So yeah, I guess I could, we could go and talk to, to the, my friends down in the deep ward. Okay.

So you're just going to the deep ward where you used to hang out. You find them pretty. Oh, actually you go down to the ventilation and there are, they're not there. Like there's not, the kids aren't in their usual hangout spot. Hello. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Bethany, Bethany. Yeah. They're just not there. Weird. Yeah. Hmm. Can I do a move to see where they might've gone? Yes. Which move are you going to use? Connections. Nice. Can you read connections? It's been a bit. Yeah.

When you put out word to the criminal underbelly about something you want or need roll plus charisma on 10 plus someone has it just for you on a seven to nine, you'll have to settle for something close or it comes with strings attached. Nice. 10. All right. Nice. So you're, you're looking around in the ventilation. For a little bit being like, where are they? Oh, here's like a rapper. Here's like a little shoe or whatever that somebody left behind. It sounds like a crime scene.

The way you're describing. I'm like, they would never leave behind just a good shoe. Put that in my pocket. You're going to want it back. And you hear. What? Where? Behind the fan that you guys would stand in front of and like put your shirts on top of to make you all puffy. I would love that. Right. No, you see Kevin's face. Oh, Kevin, what are you? What are you doing back there? Billy? It's been so long since I saw you. Where you been?

Oh, I look back because I know I have to keep the library a secret, right? Yes. Yeah. We do this like zip it thing. Oh, I went on vacation. Okay. Okay. But are you back now in McCall? Yeah. Yeah. We're back with my uncle Perel. Okay. What are you doing here? Oh, I have a favor to ask. First off, why are you in here? Oh, I can't say. Wait, is it hide and seek? No. Well, I mean, I guess kind of, but like professional hide and seek. Who are you waiting for?

I'm, I'm, I may be employed by a certain figure. Who? Oh, I can't say. Do I have to roll again? No. He's like, he's like vibrating with excitement. He's like, okay. All right. I'll keep a secret. I'll tell you. He says, are you, you're working for the snake? Oh, is it the snake? Yeah. I'm working for the garden snake. We all are. You all are. So where's Bethany? She's rest. She's out. She's doing surveillance. She's surveilling up an operation. Wow. Okay. Okay. Wow. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Congratulations on your promotion. Is this your shoe? Oh, actually. Yeah, that is my shoe. Could you show, could you shove it through the great place? Yeah, here you go. I thought, you know, there's no way one of you would just leave a shoe. You just jam it through the metal. Great. That's blocking the fan. He's like, thank you. I've been walking a while with one shoe for like days. Oh, problem. Okay. So I need a favor from you. Do you know anything about like, it's weird.

It's, but it's like a shadow of a flame and it happens when there's no fire actually happening, but it's like in the dark, you can see it. I've heard some stuff about, um, um, oh, um, sorry. I've been doing so many things lately. My brain is so full of information. Though there have been more torches in the sticks lately. And I had barely say that there was a person putting, torches up by the lighthouse, the lighthouse. Yeah. Which was weird. Cause like there's so many wooden houses out there.

Yeah. But like they never lit them. Uh, Kevin, what has been happening in the city the last month? Oh, it's been pretty scary. Um, the light guard have been, um, extra mean, but they'll like less of them. I've, I see them less, but when I see them, the extra mean, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I see them. The extra mean, there was like a big fight in cliff side. Well like a whole house was like knocked down. What?

Like, like smashed like a house, you know, like a house in somebody, it was like somebody just went and he punches forward, like smashed through the house. Yeah. Like it wasn't burnt. It was like a, it was like a quay house and they just smashed it down. Whoa. Oh, I bet that's the gin. Oh, you think the gin, like third is like, Oh yeah. The light guard dressed like they used to be dressed. Yeah. Yeah. They look the same.

It's still the white guard, but like the gangs have been, uh, another like kinda, kinda bad. The jackals have been kind of nice though. Really? Yes. It seems like they're the only ones that really care about people in cliffside anymore. Hmm. Maybe we should go talk to them. Yeah. And there's also, what? The garden snake. Oh, I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. I see. Which, what's the garden snake doing? She's trying to help, but she has to say secret. Oh, okay.

So, how do you get a hold of her? Oh, I can get a hold of her anytime I want. Well, next time you, you do tell her, I say hello. I will. I'll tell her you're back in town. Yes, please. And she will find you. Sounds good. Thank you. Okay, I'm going to go now. I have to, I have work to do. Yeah. Bye Kevin. I see you're really busy. Bye Billy. It's, He like puts his fingers through the grate. I put my fingers through his fingers. It's like a weird little kind of hand hug. Okay, bye, Billy. Bye.

Clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang. You hear him like bang down the vent and he's out of sight. All right. Well, interesting. They're building more torches. Hmm. And the light guard, there's still more light guard out there. So I guess we're not 100% safe. And the jackals are nice. Maybe we should go to the sticks. There's less of a chance of light guard being there, I bet. And just try and get the vibe of what's happening in the city. Oh, my God. Let's go vibe. We're going to vibe.

Perel, come on. Perel comes around the corner with like a bag of like steaming breadsticks. And he's like, what'd you guys find out? This dude is vibing. Perel, actually, he has a little paunch now because he's been eating so much over the last month. He's not been exercising as much as he could have. Hang over his swim trunks. Swim trunks? I don't know. They're like one of the airiest things. He has. And he learned his lesson after like the leather. Yeah. He's wearing netted shorts. Yeah.

He's like, I'm all about breathability now. Now. This is my breathability phase. But as he's putting on a little bit of weight, it's getting pretty uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah. So in my mind, Perel is like full summer uncle mode. Yeah. Tevas, swim trunks, like these netted shorts that are a little bit too small. Uh-huh. And then he's wearing a black shirt. Yeah. Yeah. And then he's wearing a button up Hawaiian shirt that is straining at the belly.

If Hawaiian shirts existed in this world, he'd have a white tank top with a Hawaiian shirt over top of it. Yeah. It's like a, like a hemp or gauze over shirt. And it's been like printed or embroidered with like the tropical plants. A really nice floral. Yeah. Shirt. He has a water wings on that are deflated. So when he gets near the water, he can. Always got to be ready for pool time, you know? Yeah. Cool. So yeah, that's what you learn.

A kid saw some people putting up torches near the lighthouse in the sticks, but not lighting them according to the kid. Okay. Yeah. Let's go check out the vibe in cliff side. Yeah. Talk to the jackals. And do we have to like roll for anything to be able to walk around? It's going to be a little bit easier than it used to be because even you guys walking around, the light guard presence is way lighter than it used to be. Like there's just way fewer patrols.

And when you do see a patrol, it's like two or three people. Whereas it used to be like six. What's their vibe? Do they look like the kind of like clean cut, like doofuses that they use? No. Oh no. Yeah. It's like more thuggish types. Unshaven. Yeah. They look stressed out whenever you see them and they look pissed off. And we see them roughing up some people and causing shit and tipping over carts. Yeah. Yeah. And even probably even in one case, you see somebody like.

Like pushed up against a wall, like with a light guards, like arm over their neck and they hand over a coin purse. Whoa. Hey, that's the kind of. Oh, yeah. Okay. You see. Okay. Yeah. You see that in an alley and there's this like a scrawny crane looking guy pushed up against the wall to thuggish light guard and he hands over a coin purse and you start yelling and they look over, move along. This doesn't concern you. Why are you taking that guy's money? Aren't you cops?

I don't know what you're talking. About, but if I did it, it's probably legal. All right. So move along. If you have a problem with that bird, you have a problem with us. Sorry, dude. He's just like, thanks. He's laying on the ground. Now they tossed him to the ground. Hey, look, if you want to go to jail, we can take you to the hearth. No problem. Hey, dude, I've been to the hearth and I love it there. So you'd be doing me a favor. Thanks a lot in advance. My friend for offering.

To give me a ride to my favorite place in the world, AKA the heart. You can see there. And then I put my, I put my hands together and I bet. All right. If that's the way you want to play it and they both pull out like heavy clubs. Can I do tricks of the trade and pull that coin purse from their pockets? That totally makes sense. Sure. Yeah. So defy danger dexterity to get close because they have weapons. Not good. I only got six. Fuck. Oh, we can't eat with the fairy movie. No, I only.

Oh, not even six. No. Oh, I got five. Five. That's a failure. Mark a point of experience. Yeah. We kind of all went into like classic, like tuck is distracting them with a stupid monologue. And then Billy, I saw Billy like start to creep around to like steal their shit. And I forgot about all the sandwiches I ate. So I have like, I went to jump and I got like a huge cramp in my side. And then I'm like, oh, you know, you're going to have to take a little bit of a break.

And then you're going to have to take a little bit of a break. And then you jump, you cramp, you yell. And the slightly shorter thug light yard member goes, what the hell? And reaches down and grabs you by the scruff of your neck. Oh, my God. Scruffy your shirt and lifts you up in the air. Can you let me down? I have a cramp. I can't lift my leg up like this. Assaulting an officer of the light guard is a serious offense. You're going to the heart. Don't care.

And they start walking like towards the street. To put that kid down right now. What are you going to do about it? Charge run. I want to run up and wait. We're kind of between them in the street, right? Yeah. They're in the alley. You're blocking their way into the street, but they're trying to push past you. Okay. I'm going to just jump over his shoulder and try and like hit him on the way through and try and grab Billy out of his hand. I'm sure Billy would be okay, but defied injure dexterity.

Nice shit. So that's I got seven plus two is nine. So Tuck wants to aid to help make the move extra. I want to give being a little bit more of a boost so he can get over. Yeah. So like I'm like being let's do the move that we practiced and then I tuck into a small ball on the ground so he could use me as a step. I stand on his back and put my hands together above my head like I'm going to dive into a pool and bend my knees. All right. Two D six plus bond nine. Okay. That makes it a ten.

It the stupidest fucking move in the world is pulled off in front of these light guard soldiers. And yeah, being you dive right over the one holding Billy Billy snatch Billy out of his hands and land behind them. And now they're kind of surrounded and they have their clubs out and they're like, okay. All right. If you want to do this, we could do this. Yeah, we could do this. Wait, this is the second guy. Yeah, I'm the second one. It's good that you weren't talking because your voice sucks, man.

Whoa. Hey, now I just and all right. All that seemed necessarily mean if you want to fight, we can fight. There's no reason to try and break me down. What are you going to do? You're going to stop us. Yeah, you're going to stop us. We could just forget this happened. Honestly, that guy's voice. You should talk the with the deeper voice. You should do all the talking because the other guy's ruining your whole vibe. I usually do do all the talking. All right. That's kind of our deal. He's smart.

I'm kind of dumb, but cool. Now, look, are you going to let us go or are we going to do this? We're going to throw down. No, we're throwing down unless you want to give that gentleman his money back. Somebody's going to have to roll to like intimidate them. Basically 2d6 plus charisma. Billy said it. So yeah, it's got to be Billy 2d6 plus charisma. Oh my God. Wow. Holy shit. 13. All right. They look at the guy on the ground.

They look at the coin purse and the big guy looks at the coin purse in his hand and they look at all of you and really you can see the mental algebra cranking through their brains as they play out the fight in super speed. Yeah, because in real time in their mind and yeah, you can see the dumb guy's lips moving as he's imagining. Yeah, so I step forward and then the big guy grabs me before I can step forward.

He picks me up over his head and I fight and I land on the ground and skinny guys like yeah, and then I and he's a shut up and then the little one jumps forward and I kick him like a soccer ball, but then the skinny one gets me fine doesn't seem worth it here and he throws the coin purse at the scrawny dude and they go. All right, fine, but don't let us catch you in our alley again.

Just go all right, fine and they go back onto the street and you see them get in a little cart pulled by a little pony and they clop by you and they do that. I'm watching you eyes that pony was unreasonable. Small little pony such a fat little tiny pony thing. I think he wanted us to save him at least what his eyes told me. No, that that pony's a that pony's a fascist that pony's in it because it loves it that pony squinted at us and also did the I'm watching you with it.

And yeah, you you've you know, the scrawny dudes laying on the ground like huh? Thank you. Hey, what's your name friend? Oh, I'm a nail twice thrice. You make coffins. I do make coffee. You know, nobody ever gets that but yeah, I make coffins. Thank you for helping me. They the light guards been a real pain in the keister. Yeah, man. What's been happening in the city? Those guys didn't seem like regular light guard. We've kind of been out of town for a while. I mean, I don't know.

I think after everything fell apart, whatever happened, it seems like they're just kind of taken whoever seems like they're clearing out the jails and just kind of given him a uniform. They're really desperate to maintain control of the city and it's not going well. I'll tell you that much. What have you heard of the upper ups of the light guard? Who's left? Who's in charge now? If I'm being honest with you, I don't know who was in charge to begin with there.

So whoever it is, they are grasping at straws. Have you heard of that house that got smashed in? In the sticks? His eyes widen a little bit and he's like, um, yeah, you know, I just heard it was like a fight. Oh, come on. I'm sure you know more than that because you like live around here. I really shouldn't say anything. What? Why? It's just I don't want to get involved. What happened? You don't have to be involved. Can have to roll. He really doesn't want to tell you.

You can offer him something. You can try and parlay. I can parlay. Yeah. What are you gonna offer him? Uh, we shouldn't threaten. Him right? No, no, that are we saying this? I'm saying this. This is what I'm saying to Billy and Bing. I'm like, okay, we want this information, but we shouldn't threaten this guy. That's not our vibe, right? Billy and I like turn. We can turn and look at him. No, no, no, no. He just got the money back. Yeah. All right, dude, here's what we're gonna do.

We're not gonna threaten you. Wow. Thank you. But we strongly suggest that it would be nice. That it would be nice. If you gave us this information. Now, this is starting to sound like a threat. No, like we just got you your money back and that looks like your paycheck in that bag, right? Yeah. Yeah. So like without us, you couldn't pay rent. Also, it seems like you're a little bit afraid of of whatever it is you're hiding.

There's a strong possibility that we'll take care of what you're afraid of. Possibly kill it. Possibly get put in jail by it. Also, this isn't a threat. Are you winking? You're closing both your eyes. Much like the player of dual tried to try to wake and then blanked for some reason and then opened one eye. You kind of reverse winked. You're still gonna have to roll, but he's listening to this non threat 11. Okay. Okay. I wasn't there. Okay, but my sister's boyfriend's dog. Walker lives nearby.

Somebody who's mailman has a route through there and they said you didn't hear this. You didn't hear this from me. This could trace back to me. I'm too close to this thing. I heard that it was just one person. There was a gang in there knew they kind of cropped up. They're called the dust devils. They were real pricks and they're they had a little like hideout in this place and they were they were dealing ghost route. It was a bad bad scene.

Oh, and then a person just walked in and destroyed the place. Tell me more about this person. Were they bigger than me? Did they look stronger than me? What phase were they in again based on my brother's girlfriend's dog? Walker do it all fucking. I can't remember but I mean what I heard they were huge. And they had a check. They had a huge sword and they just went crazy on that place. No survivors. Whoa. That was in the library. I is right. Yeah.

Was it a light guard person or just like a random person? They were wearing a hooded cloak. Whoa. Huh? Was it what if it was a gin? Do you know who third is? Oh, yeah. Everybody knows who third was it third. I don't he's like looking between the three of you. Yes. I I! Now we're going to be start threatening. Is it a no? You only have those two options. I feel like I gave you like all of the information necessary. He fine. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. So it's still up in the air.

I feel like it's not. It was it was third. Oh, it was third. Yes. Shut up. You're gonna get yourself killed. Can't just say shut up. I I've told you all I know and he's thank you for saving me. You're very welcome. Genuinely appreciate that. Yeah. Tacoma Dome and his friends Billy and Bing Bang Zumba did it. Tell everybody. Oh, okay. Sure. What are you doing? He starts running down the alley deeper into the block and he's gone. Talk. We're gonna get in so much trouble now.

And now that that situation has been resolved, Perel pops out of the garbage can. He was hiding in banana peel on his head. He's got the the the trash can lid on his head like the chief and inspector gadget. He's just like, okay, so this is a lot of there's a lot going on in the city right now. Your ability to get in and out of garbage cans silently and quickly is near superhuman. Some would say almost arcane. I'm so I'm actually so impressed. Like, will you teach me?

I can show you some pointers. Billy, you are very loud going in and out of the garbage. They don't make them my size. It's really hard. Waste paper baskets have not been invented. In this world, it always sounds like an entire family of records are in there with Billy's. I thought the garbage truck was here. I don't I don't have like, you know, I just land whatever way I can't starfish every garbage.

My arms aren't long enough to touch either side, so I just fall in one of these times in my mouth is going to land on a buckle. So, okay, so all right, let's go. Let's checklist light guard is getting aggressive and they're spread thin. Yeah, whoever is leading the light guard question mark question mark question mark is desperate really trying to maintain control of the city. The jackals are doing something according to the kid. Yeah, and the kid seemed to think that they were good.

Yeah, they might be working with Shia. They said the Shia was doing good too. I wonder if they're working together. That's a good point. The kids are definitely working for Shia. Or did you mean the jackals and Shia? Yeah, that would make sense. Yeah, if she's she's pretty smart, right? I had limited interactions with her. I don't know. Yeah, I don't think so. Yeah. Is it possible that she is employing the urchins as sort of lookouts and information gatherers, but is also employing the jackals?

Does she have those kinds of resources at hand? Oh, she does. Yeah, she's rich as fuck. She wow, she might be the only stabilizing presence in the city right now. Man, that would be fucking this is Abdul would be fucking sick. I mean, if that's true, if she's if she's employed, she's employing the jackals and keeping order in the sticks and then the urchins as lookouts. Cool. Wow. She'd be like a real Joan of Arc character. It's a comic book. I read as a kid. Okay, it sounds interesting.

You'll have to tell me about it later. So what do we do? Should we are we still going to the sticks? Well, if if shy is manipulating the jackals, that is my theory. We could walk into the sticks. No problem. We know where to find the jackals more than we know where to find Shia. Let's go. Yeah. All right. He tumbles out of the garbage can. He lands right on his face and he picks himself up. Let's go. Beautiful.

So you are you walk through sort of the mids like the area between step side and cliff side and step side is sort of the regular McCall people all over the place. You see like guard patrols everywhere. Well, not everywhere. You see more like guard patrols here. But as you get closer to cliff side, they thin out the crowds thin out. And once you get into the sticks proper, everything is very quiet. There are people on the street, but like everybody seems okay.

There's a lot of like closed doors and close like window shutters and stuff like that. You get the sense that there are a lot of people inside and you see members of the jackals with their leather vests and their knives. Is it night now? Uh, when I guess it kind of would have been probably like evening. Yeah. Sunset. Yeah. Yeah. Like the sun starting to set and the worm light is starting to glow through the neighborhood. Yeah. So everything is a wash in this blue glow.

The occasional torture lantern and you see jackals on street corners just kind of keeping an eye on stuff and they notice you and one starts jogging off down the street. Okay. Should we just go to the other ones? Yeah. Yeah. Look cool. Everyone. Yeah. Everybody look cool. Look cool. Um, oh my God. Okay. Uh, um, is pro wearing a leather shirt? Oh, no. He's wearing that Hawaiian shirt. Yeah.

He's got a, I'm gonna go up and rip the sleeves off of it like a vest and you rip the sleeves off his shirt. He's like, oh, that was silk. Oh, silk puts in his pack. And yeah, if you walk down the street a few more yards and a group of jackals come around the corner and put my hands up, put our hands up, hands up. I took puts his hands up and you can see when he tried to make himself look, cool. He put like he went, he got some charcoal from the gutter wasn't charcoal.

Uh, and he, he like smudged those two streaks on his face to look like war paint or whatever. Oh yeah. Isn't that what it is when they do it in baseball? Yeah. Oh, I was thinking about sports when they do it. Yeah. It's football players and it's under the eye. Yeah. Yeah. Except he went too far. He did it around his face. So yeah, he looks like a record and Billy's like, are you making fun of me? Cause Billy also actually has it on his face. Yeah.

And then he went, he was like, he did it around his eyes. He's like, maybe not enough. And then he went from the corners of his mouth and did like a smiling. Oh my God. And then on his forehead, he wrote his own name. Backwards. He didn't get the left to right on his forehead. So it's kind of backwards and mirrored. Hey buddy, what's cut mean? It says tuck, right? Oh, and the jackal stop you. The one at the front is like an 18 year old girl.

She's like got really cut short hair like a, you know, real gangster scar down her eye. Whoa. Whoa. Are you blind in this eye? Yeah, I am. Wow. Cool scar. Thanks. It's a small consolation for losing my eye. Huh? You should see the other guy. Yeah, he has both his eyes still. Sorry. Hey, you know what happens? Do you have business in the sticks? Yes, we are hoping to talk to Jake. Okay, he's available. We're business acquaintances. We go way back.

My name is tuck and I put him before and you see where before she was like real hard eyed like I don't know about these folks. When you say my name's tuck, you can see the recognition in her eyes and she's like, okay. All right. Yeah, follow me. Okay. And she turns around and start the group starts leading you down the street turning the corner. The lighthouse, of course, looming above you at all times.

Yeah, but now that you've turned onto the street at the base of the lighthouse is on you can further see the immensity of this fucking construction just houses and then a huge stone art coming out from like one side of a house and then a house on the other side. People are watching you walk by like very hushed. You can hear them whispering to each other as you walk past. And they lead you to the jackals hideout, which was in a bar in the basement of a bar. It was stray dog. Yes. Yes, it was.

And in in the sticks when you get close to the lighthouse, it starts getting dark because it's like oh in the shadow of the shadow of itself. Yeah. So yeah, it's more night here than it was back there. Yeah, the shadow of itself was my favorite album by the lighthouse singers choir men's choir. My mom had a it's a men's choir. It's all women's men's choir. So it's all tenor women. Yeah. Yeah, it was a man that some tenor women and yeah, the street is very quiet.

But once they take you into the stray dog, it's a lot louder. There's like groups of jackals around the tables. There are some regular kind of townspeople. This place is way more lively than it was four weeks ago. Food. Yeah, there's lots of food, lots of drink. There's a music bottle. There's a jug, a big glass jug with the cork pulled out in the corner. Music's blaring through the room. There's a guy DJing by like putting his hand over it. Just doing the cutoff.

Yeah, and it's like it's basically like it's like a punk bar in here. Like it's really loud. Oh, sick. Oh man, Black Spire would love it in here. Well, he's just and he's just in the mind like flicking a bone back and man, this whole, this whole sucks. I'm not even hungry anymore. I'm in my hole. Oh man, we gotta figure out how to make his hole like his old hole. You know, now that that goo's gone, I kind of miss the smell. No problem. I brought a jar with me guys.

And the the jackal leads you through the bar. A lot of people are like whoa, like pointing at all of you as you walk past and she takes you to the back down a staircase where it gets a lot quieter and sitting on his wooden crate throne with his wooden dog mask on is Jake the Jackal. Dude, come on. Hey, put her there. Yeah, and he actually gets up and he very warily shakes your hands. He's like it's good to see you again. This was his voice, right? He just had a normal voice.

Yeah, he had a weird voice when he had the mask down. Remember, he takes his mask off when he sees you because he knows the pageantry has no effect on you. Yeah, good to see you again. Hey, how's things? It was, you know, all right. Business is good. How did the battle treat you on this side? I'm going to be honest with you guys. It was rough. You were 100% right. They totally came for the sewers. They wanted in that exit. We pushed them back, but it was a bad time.

But they're not bothering you anymore too much? No. After that battle, things were in a pretty big state of disarray. For a while, there wasn't really any organization which allowed us to take full control of the sticks. Like we've got this neighborhood locked down. Amazing. Nice. And you know what? I guess you guys are criminals. Hey, we're community members. I mean, that's true. The plants are looking really well watered this time. Thank you. The Matrix by which Billy.

The light guard didn't give two shits about those community gardens and look at them now. Yeah, we we've gone outside. To like look at the community because he's like so proud of takes it. So you're in the basement and he takes you through a back door into like a sunken patio that has like plants and stuff and he's watering his flowers. Are those cucumbers and I eat some and I'm like, they taste great. Thank you so much. That's a I've been. Oh, is that like a hot pepper? I'll try that now. Okay.

Now hold on. They're good if you want some. Yeah, they're very spicy though. I did not know. That'll go away. Billy is actually floating off the ground. Oh, buddy. That'll go away. Eventually tuck starts rummaging around his backpack to try and find something to like yeah, I mean milk or something. I don't have no definitely not. I'll get and he snaps at somebody and they run inside to go grab some milk.

Yeah, tuck you you recognize these they're called scorpion peppers like they grow down and then up in like a hook. Oh, they're extremely spicy. It's like you put a seed in a stew. If you want the stew to be spicy. Oh, no, Billy lie down, lie down, Billy. I already a fly. My God flying free and he's laying on his back on the patio ground. I had some sandbags on this kid. It's so high that he's very so spicy that he's delirious. Somebody comes out and gives Billy some milk. Is that skim cheese?

Poor my face. I think you're going to get a they do they kind of have a concerned look and they just pour it on your face. Wait, does Billy have to roll warm milk and honey now? Oh shit. Did we just fuck us? You do. Yeah, you're consuming dairy. Yeah, it's good. Say this way. Sorry. I was just like I see. No, that's so funny. Just like imp like improving our way through a thing where Billy accidentally drinks and milk.

Can you can you read warm milk and honey real quick as a fairy you are bound by a certain natural laws work with the GM to determine your weakness and record it while you're exposed to your weakness minus one ongoing until you're able to rest for a few hours unburdened.

All right, so Billy's going to take a minus one for a little bit what ongoing Oh, yeah, Billy you cut you realize as you were laying there that you were really spicy and now you're like bored or line wasted because they just poured a ton of creamy milk into your mouth. I'm a little different spicy now. And Jake has just been watching this whole thing with like bemused excitement. So what can I do you for what do you what do you need? We're the worst parents. Oh my God.

We're just we're laughing so hard because first you are so spicy and then the only thing that calm that down is milk. We're like this is going to get him so drunk. It's fine. Honestly Jake look, I'm going to level with you. I'm going to level with you right now. We need to know about the torches like are there weird things is it shadow like a ghost of a fire any like magic folks around here any suspicious types anyone like hang around the torches or like do it.

She's actually really getting to the point here. This is doing activities. Billy's been saying all of this to a keys hunt that is standing in the corner. What is he is he all right listen to him. Is this true though? Is there yeah, you're looking for torches. Yeah, we're we're trying to find what are they called thing? I don't know. It's a shadow of a flame. It was a flame.

That wasn't there but threw off a shadow like it was have you seen anything like that should be in the torches or some weird people like Billy said some dark figures cloaked people doing activities. Also he said that he said doing activities activities are vital near the torches just threw up torches Oh man Okay, so what do you say weird people like in cloaks that he kind of snaps and goes yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

Yeah, have you seen any weird people tuck says as he's he's got raccoon eyes and a smile on his face and the word cut written across his forehead and Billy also has recognized and is drunkenly talking to a keys. Being is a little bit on fire and doesn't seem to know it. He said he too close to a torches. Let it have one of his pants on fire. So present company notwithstanding yeah, not like us. We're like amusingly weird out of place.

Yeah, these people would be like out of place weird and maybe like carrying like a dark energy around them. Okay. Yeah, I mean I've heard we've heard whispers and stuff for sure but what did the whispers say they say maybe you do a little something for me and maybe I tell you my God. Can we just pay you? I'm not. Well, actually, I'm not really well now. What are we talking about? How much money do we have left? We have a lot. What would you say to 15 gold coins? Are you that was that a joke?

Was that like it? Are you opening with a joke? Is that kind of your your move here? Why so good? Is that no good? Is that too much? Like look, hey, look man. I look I run a I run Cliffside now like my rate has gone up significantly. Look, we know that the snake lady she's paying you for sure. And you know what we know her we are her best friends and if you don't tell us Jake the Jake you will get in trouble for sure. Look, I'm not I'm not running a charity here.

You either pay me significantly more than you're used to paying me or you just do a little something for me. It's an easy one to done back. Fine. What's the thing you want? I got a little got a little problem. You know, we took over Cliffside people aren't crazy about it. So there's some people maybe moving in. Maybe you take care of them get them to move along. What kind of people little weird upstart gang called the day dreamers. Well, I know that's a that's a bad name.

I know they they are messing with some weird ghost root stuff like I'm not it's it's it's wait, is this the dirt Devils you're talking about earlier? Oh, no, they're gone. They're gone. But this is like ghost roots like not even that bad for what they're doing like they're messing with some crazy substances that are I don't know. There's some weird spooky shit going on there. Are these the people we want to talk to you? I think they are like they're up to stuff.

Yeah, they're definitely doing activities Billy. Let's find out. I'm laughing, but not all right. So you're going to go take a look. You're going to go clear them out. Tell them to move on. Sure. Yeah, we'll talk to them. We'll go talk to them. I'm I just want to be clear for legal reasons. I'm not asking you to kill anybody. I'm just asking you to get them to move along. That was never on the table. I'm just saying I want it on the table that I don't want you to kill them.

Yeah, it was never on the table. I'm glad I came on the table when you brought it up just now. I'm glad that you're agreeing with me that I don't want you to kill them and that it would be a bad idea for you to do it wink. What what the fuck are you doing? That's called a wink. Yeah, now that's a wink. Yeah. Anyways, that's all I need and then maybe I'll give you a little bit of what you need which is information which is information on these creeps. Yes, okay murder for information.

Mm-hmm not murder anyways. Great to see you. So yeah, that's Jake tells you that they the daydreamers are holed up in an abandoned bakery in the northern area of the sticks and sends you on your way. You go back up through the bar and just I assume you're just heading straight there. Yeah. Okay, as you walk like north through the sticks you enjoy the cool stability that the jackals have imparted on this part of town. The sun starts going down. It gets a little colder.

The worm light is getting brighter until you leave the jackals like you get to the edge of their territory and things start getting a little there's more people on the street. It's a little rougher here and you're just about at where he said the bakery was like the intersection that the bakery is near and as you're walking around the corner somebody slams full on into you and you just tumble over in a pile. Who was that? Oh my God. So slow.

Billy's like getting out of the drunkness, but he's still like, oh now Billy you're face to face with the person that slammed into you and you hear Billy and you're Shia whoever it is that is what it is. It would be easy to be confused in a sense feature wise because you're staring right into the face of Colonel Dan Der Glott LTD and that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers.

Take care playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz and playing fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica tie everyone. Thank you as always to our incredible patrons on patreon for supporting us in all of the ways that they do we love you so dearly also thank you to patrons Nevin on our discord for the name nail twice thrice. Thank you to Optimus bitch.

The names Barry I didn't take I took the name Barry for the kid that that Kevin knew his last name is Kugelhorn, which I like if you want to give us some names for the show become a patron at the $10 level and hop in the discord and drop us some names. Thank you to Aaron read for our intro and outro music. Is there specific people that were supposed to be thanking that I'm forgetting no, just tell people to like and subscribe. Yeah, like and subscribe. Give us an eye review.

On iTunes Apple iTunes Apple podcasts five stars are better. That's what we're looking for and we'll see you next time. Goodbye. Goodbye, and if you review us, I swear to God don't do it. If you guys if you guys review us and Abdul, I'm going to do he's not being our supporter. I'm trying to be supportive supportive of my friend. Okay, so you guys well, he's you know what I'm going to my own all right, it's it's time that I just says I'll if Sean's first my first your listener.

There's literally no way we can release any of this even his bonus content. Jessica is going to it's not going to make any but she will make a calendar that each page is a different angle of this it's the same one just all angles. It's it's the pie. It's the it's the itself, but a calendar calendar and you can have all of this listener. All you have to do is review us don't even give us money. I guess you can even just tell us you reviewed us. We're there's no way for us to check really.

No, we okay by to and so ends the tale of Adventures three who tried the best they can. The dumb and scared and lost they be for times of resting revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spout more.

If you like Spout Lore and you want spelt more of it, go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore for exclusive bonus content, bonus games, exclusive merchandise, and more. Thank you for watching. For the tale's about to start. For the tale's about to start. I think he knows the theme song, like at least 99% of it. Yeah, I would say that's fair. 99.5. He doesn't know the theme song. Guys, he doesn't. I'm going to write it out. Well, I'm not paying attention to the game.

I'm going to be busy writing out the theme song. Okay, you write out the theme. Shut up. I'm going to recap the episode, the last episode, while Paul writes out the theme song and Abdul is going to stop goading him. Okay, and then after you're done the recap, we're going to read what he wrote. We're going to read what he wrote. This is so antagonistic. I think you can see that I'm a little bit grumpy and you're pushing my buttons to get me a little more lively. And I like it.

I appreciate what you're doing. It's working. When last we left our heroes, they had entered. He's typing so loud. I don't even know if it's actual words. When last we left our heroes, they had entered the mysterious carven tunnels connected to these. Ancient giant ruins within the mysterious Sand Eater Canyon. They almost tripped a trap and were almost crushed by a door, then entered what appeared to be and was revealed to be the entryway to some sort of tomb or crypt built by the giants.

All those millennia ago to honor their trades people. Oh, yeah. Or perhaps people involved in the construction of a specific thing. And that tomb was just covered wall to wall in worm cum. It was described by Ving. Upon arriving to Sand Eater Canyon, that this place is some sort of mating ground for the Alcoly sandworm, which was almost immediately confirmed by the overwhelming presence of what do we call this? The stuff that's used for lighting. The neon. Yeah. In the sticks.

Which it would appear that basically all emissions created by a worm waste and otherwise have this sort of bioluminescent. Appearance. We explored this tomb for a while, found some carvings relating to the importance of trades people in the giant culture. Ving and Billy found a series of animal paintings along the wall familiar to them. Thanks to the research into the whatever the dark church is that Perel has convinced himself is connected to both the dark guard and the recovery of his magic.

And further into the tomb, we found the crypts themselves, which had been smashed. Open and the skeletons either removed or destroyed in some fashion. And a little bit further into the crypt, we found a dragon from Knights Embrace. A black spire rises. The small, chunky obsidian dragon who has been feasting upon the bones of these giants for hundreds of years. Apparently, so the party has decided that he is adorable. Yeah. Despite the fact that he's a tough dragon with.

A huge pair of arms and some pretty impressive obsidian plates. Yeah. And they were able to ingratiate themselves to him through a combination of Billy's fairy charms and the switcherooing of some delicious obsidian diamonds. And he agreed to lead you to what he described as the gross smelling room. Which is where we believe the church to be. Yes. Because Ving recalls from both. The.

The pulp novel brings of the black flame and Perel's research that the burning of desert sage was important to this religion. And black spire agreed to help you taking you through the tomb into a chamber that is covered wall to wall in worms. Jesus. And that is where we find ourselves now on the very edge of some sort of worm pit. You ended the episode at a worm orgy. You said orgy. I said there are worms here and you decided. And you said the room is a glow with their come.

And also it's mating season. So what else are they doing? I will say that all of this stuff, the come, the orgy, this has all been you guys. And I'm along for the ride. But yes, there is a worm orgy in front of you. I knew it. You ended the episode and you started the next one. Black spire is standing at the edge. Of the chamber. And it's like, I hate these things. They're disgusting. They're like just the worst.

Basically, they just roll around and they chomp on all the stuff that I want to chomp on. And then whatever comes out is like the opposite of what I want to chomp on. And like, it's like they don't even want to actually eat the bones. They just like go through the bones. Sometimes. Sometimes it's the worst. And they're gross and they smelled like garbage. But what you're looking for is on the other side.

If you look and he lifts his one of his huge front legs and points across the chamber and you see doorways to other parts of this complex. But what he's pointing at is tunnels that have been burrowed through the walls. Oh, yeah. Cool. We have to go inside. We go through the worms. Yeah. That's the only way. Like I can. They're wusses. Like I can like probably push some of them away. But like they get real uppity this time of year. Do you think we could convince him to give us a lift over there?

Just kind of like stampede through all these worms and get to the other side real quick. Plus, we get a cool ride on a sweet drag. I'm convinced. He's not. Dragons are very proud. You're going to have to convince him to allow him to be ridden. So parlay with him. Okay. 2d6 plus charisma. Yeah. Oh, yeah. 13. Wow. So I implore upon Black Spire. Listen. Oh, great one. Big boy. We're stupid and small and we need someone brave and chonky. Big boy to carry us over these worms.

And no one here is smarter than you. Would you please do us the honor of letting us ride upon your beautiful, dark back? I suppose that I could deign to aid creatures weak and squishy as you. I suppose. And he's like, he stands up a little bit straighter on his front legs and his obsidian plates clack together a bit. He's just like preening himself. Basically. I love him. He's like, yeah. Okay. Whatever. Hop on. Let's go. Thank you. Thank you. You sit pretty low on his back.

Like his back itself is really broad. His shoulders are really wide. And then it tapers down to like a gorilla hip and a butt that flattens out a little bit. So you can kind of haunt yourselves up on this butt part. Tuck gets on. He grabs hold with his legs. Yeah. Strong legs. All right. Let's let's go. Oh, and he flips up his plates all the way to create this like wall of obsidian. And he just starts smashing through the worms. Oh my God. Out of the way. Get out of here. Mivet.

You gross piece of garbage. And he's basically snow plowing them away from him. Cool. You're about halfway across this. How long did I say this? Like 500 feet long. Yeah. Huge. It's he's good for like a couple hundred feet. And then the worms, you start hearing like. Mm hmm. They're starting to get uppity. Oh no. What do they do when they get uppity? You know, when you pick up an earthworm and they start like thrashing. Yeah. Like they curl up and they extend and they start flipping around.

They're doing that. Like the ones closest to you start curling up. And there are worms of all sizes here. You know, Tuck, that they can get enormous. Mm hmm. There aren't any super enormous ones in here. This seems like a place that younger sandworms come. Oh. Ew. A rave. That was not the word that I should have used. Tell us more about their mating habits, Sean. Yeah. So it's younger sandworms almost wall to wall. So the ones closer to you are maybe like 15 to 30 feet long.

Pretty thick segmented. They all have those weird horns. They're big. Yeah. They're really big. And they become like, you know. Like sperm whales. Like a kilometer long in some cases. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. There are rumors. There's always been stories about like a kilometer long sandworm that lives deep in the desert. Yeah. Moby Dick. It's the Moby Dick of sandworms. Exactly. Yeah. And there's one worm hunter who's like, I'm going to get that worm. Because he ate both my legs.

He ate one leg and then he decided he liked it. And he came back and he got the other one. The ones closest to you that Black Spire is pushing out of the way start thrashing. And that affects like in a ripple. Ew. They're just thrashing into each other before you know it. The whole worm pile is like roiling. And Chuck's like, oh no, I think they're getting horny. Fuck. Gross. And you can hear Ving. You can hear Black Spire go. Oh no, they're definitely not getting horny.

Instead, they're just really mad because I'm treating them like shit. What do we do? And he keeps, he starts hurrying up, but he's meeting resistance in this wall. He's like, I'm going to get this whole wall of worms. So Chuck wants to use his like bouncer chi to like push these worms out of the way. Yeah. So you're like, make room, make room. So are you like hopping down in front of Black Spire? Yeah. Okay. 2d6 plus strength. Defy danger. All right, here we go. Eight. Okay.

You can get yourselves two thirds of the way across the room and take a bunch of damage from these huge worms. Whatever. I'll do whatever for this little guy. I love this dragon. Now. Okay. Chuck loves this dragon so much. Okay. Roll a d12 for me. Holy shit. These worms are so intense. I mean, they're huge. They're cut. They have like segmented plates and huge horns on their heads. I guess it would be like if Chuck tried to fight a bunch of rhinos. Yeah, exactly. You're like horny rhinos.

I'm going to get us through this zoo guys. Don't worry. I'm going to go fight the hippo. Move it. Hippo. All right. Here we go. Oh, fuck. Seven. Okay. Seven damage. Oh my gosh. We bought a zoo guys. Yeah. So you get in there and you're just mixing it up with these worms. Are you using your axe? Are you just pushing them? I'm using my axe, but I'm pushing them with the half. Oh yeah. Like a lacrosse stick. Yeah. Yeah. I'm high sticking all of them. Yeah. Like a bouncer. Like no, no. Yes.

You know. Nerd. Cool. Back of the line. And yeah, you're pushing them out of the way. Pretty. It's not easy, but you're having an okay time with it. Black Spire. You hear him go like nice. Pretty sick. Yeah. High check. Get them. This is for you, buddy. I like this little guy, but you keep getting like slammed by a worm here, slammed by a worm there. And then one of the ones that you push away convulses at for you the wrong time and its horn whips around and just stabs you right in the peck. Ow.

So you've. Just got this worm horn in your fucking chest for a second. Ugh. And then it yanks it back out and a little bit of blue goo is left behind. Ew. Gross. But you're just like by the time you get out of here, this horn rips out of your chest. You're bleeding from your peck and you are covered like up to the waist in worm goo. You're just glowing from the waist down. Where are we out of the room? No, you're only two thirds across, right? Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Something asks Black Spire if he has. Do you have a beautiful fiery breath? Do you have a big hot boy breath? Oh, I got. I got something, but it's pretty hardcore. How so? I don't know if this is because I've been like chomping down on these bones for so long, but whenever I do it, it comes out like a goopy. Oh, like liquidy. Yeah. Like liquidy. You know, like I got to change my diet. I think because it just comes out like liquid every time. Yeah.

Oh so what end does it come out it comes out of my mouth out of the front okay yeah like it always comes out right I assume I've never actually met another one of me but I assume this is normal it's just like if once I start letting loose you know what I mean like it gets pretty pretty dicey is it comfortable for you do you mind can you give me a bit of it oh I love to do it would you mind I think it could help us out right now okay let's see what I could do and he like hunches down on his front paws like he gets his head really close to the ground and anybody still on his back can feel him going like rubbing his back you can do it buddy yeah he's holding his hair back he's like get away the thing's in front of him he's rolled up his sleeves yeah and he's like you he makes a little like cat fur balls it sounds exactly like that yeah and then he releases this like torrent of molten stone like it just comes out like magma oh my god cover thing yeah I'm gathering it I'm opening it like this because I'm gonna pave a road because he can he walk on it actually yeah he probably can yeah but it's like it's like a magma he's barfing up lava basically I'm gonna use my spear and spread it out in a road to clear a magma road because I'm I can't be hurt by flames because I'm born in the fire true you can't like build a magma road to the other end okay yeah cool um I'm gonna need you to roll something I would say don't do it with your spear oh no because it's got ironwood it's got ironwood in it so it's non-flammable anymore and wow yeah that is pretty sick um your weapon can't catch fire too fast I'm gonna use my spear and spread it out in a road to clear a magma road to clear a magma road two that's so cool so he's painting like lava jackson pollock it's like swirling it around and like if they get too close a little singe yeah uh okay defy injury dexterity to kind of move it around in the locations that you need to spread this like liquid hot cheeto barf oh great wow you have five oh wow all right so yeah black spire is exuding expelling this molten stone ahead of you and then you can do this with a magma road so I'm gonna use this you thing it is working the thing that you're doing yeah you're throwing it down in the right spot that the worms are like recoiling and rolling away so you get to the other side of the room to this tunnel that's a lot wider than the other worms in this room are and the worms are making so much noise because they've just been like kicked to shit and set on fire in some cases that you feel like a rumble in the tunnel you hear this rumbling of stone and you hear like that's a big boy in the tunnel that we're going to yeah the tunnel that black spire is like the gross smelling rooms that way oh there's like and the worms start roiling even more and roiling away from the tunnel oh and black spire hears that happening and he gets down and all his plates flare up and he's like oh fuck this is gonna be bad oh no what is this this is the big one this is the big one get away worm yeah don't get away from the hole get away from the hole okay we run away from the hole jump on his back yeah I'm still on his back and he starts like trundling to the other side of this chamber like basically to the right hand side of the entrance and he's like going through the worms and he's like ew ew get out of here ew and then bursting from this tunnel is a worm that's like 20 feet in diameter like a subway train basically exactly a living subway train bursts from the entrance and he's like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die that tunnel and enters this chamber and rears up on its worm stomach and lets out a piercing and its mouth opens in this like three segment grasping thing full of like razor sharp teeth whoa and you see the muscles inside their mouth that allow their teeth to basically spin inside their mouth oh gross like it doesn't spin all the way around but they go like back and forth yeah what do you do can I make a fetch I think that's a move that you have not taken yet okay but you do have the convincing illusion uh option and um yeah I'm gonna create the sexiest worm I can yes oh yeah billy yeah what does a sex what does the sexiest worm billy can imagine look like like the slimiest sandworm also pretty big and like thick um has a big horn the big just huge because I imagine the horns are secondary sexual characteristics oh yeah yeah for sure even like even as gross like tri lips have like a blushy pink on yeah big long eyelashes yeah it's got a big curly blonde wig and a red sequined dress it goes yeah it's very shiny and gross and I kind of see it as like a big horn and I imagine the horns are secondary sexual characteristics oh yeah for sure send it you know basically like the opposite direction yeah the other side of the room yeah the other side of the room or and this disgusting worm lady arrives in the thin air basically just appears and the bull worm is like distracted and I go big start translating what he's saying yeah um um um um um want to get to know each other that we can talk and make out using human sexual act and the huge bull worm just goes for it right away like start slamming through the room crashing into walls just so excited he becomes an idiot yeah I mean it's a fucking worm right like it's just like and then it starts slamming its way through this chamber crushing younger worms under it rest in peace let's get down that big hole yeah the worm slams what he said sorry oh let me get down that big hole yeah you guys unless you want to see how sand worms mate it's time to go tuck is reluctantly dragged away yeah black spires like okay time to get out of here let's go and he retracts all his plates lays them flat down on his shoulders and arms again and shoves his way into this worm tunnel and yeah you guys got to duck a little bit because he's like crushing his way through and he shoves his way down this tunnel it's like a winding up and down side to side very clearly not built it's an organic tunnel that's been used for a long time it seems like it branches off in a bunch of different directions and yeah after like 15 minutes of him cramming his way down this tunnel you know this tunnel is a lot smaller than I remember it being this is uh getting a little tight it's getting a little tight bros suck in suck in and he's like basically on his stomach now like pushing with his back legs shoving his way fucking winnie the poo him into the final chamber oh you know I was just in a bulk phase I love this fucking dragon and he does eventually bring you to what he describes as the gross smelling room of which you speak and yeah you find what looks to be a small doorway more human sized than giant sized carved out of a wall of one of these tunnels this is it I don't think I could make it in here so you might be on your own now bro yeah I'm gonna go oh no wait wait please we need your help I'll leave you a snack oh and I love you now a snack you say yeah totally and I touched one of the big stones behind me uh to turn into an obsidian 2d6 plus charisma 11 okay perfect he's like okay I'll uh and he pushes with his front paws because he can't turn around now oh he's shoved himself so far into this tunnel that he can't turn around and you hear him actually you're like yeah I'll uh I'll leave this boulder for you it'll be obsidian if you want to go to the next tunnel and he's like yeah I'll uh I'll leave this boulder for you it'll be obsidian if you want to go to the next tunnel and he's want it and he's like okay I can't see it because he's like okay I can't see it because he's facing away from you facing away from you I'm I'll try push it I'll try push it no no I'm I'll try push it I'll try push it no no no don't push I'll just push backwards don't push I'll just push backwards go inside and I'll push backwards okay go inside and I'll push backwards okay I love you uh okay I love you uh okay all right I love you too all right Okay, I'll see you in a bit.

I'll see you in a bit. I love you. Okay. And you go in the doorway, and then it's just the doorway's blocked for a second by like massive obsidian plates as he shoves his way backwards into the tunnel. And then you see his huge head. He's like, what's up? And he starts chomping on this obsidian boulder. And yeah, you find yourself in a very still room that smells ever so faintly, almost not at all, of desert sage. Is the person in here? Discern realities. Yeah, let's discern realities. Eight.

Okay, you get one question. What in here should we be on the lookout for? Yeah. Describe the church for me. Describe what this actual temple looks like. It's vaulted ceilings, but they come down very deep. And then there's pillars of obsidian carved out of giant bones. Meeting them and then paintings going in between. It looks like stories with some old scripts. And just a whole lot of portraits and like tapestry style frescoes on the ceiling. Yeah. Dark purples and greens and blues.

A lot of blacks. Awesome. There's a ship. Huge obsidian brazier in the middle with a lot of ashes around it. Actually, the brazier itself is lit. What? And there's sconces around the perimeter of this room that are also lit. Of fire? Fire. What color is the fire? Red fire. Oh, okay. Normal, regular old fire. Normal fire. Is it hot? It is hot, yeah. There's a couple sculptures and statues in the room and you see something on the ground ahead of you. What is it? It's a pile of fabric.

Can we go up to the fabric? Yeah, totally. It looks like it's like a robe. Like it has a hood and a few layers and it's very simply made, but simply made by someone very skilled. You know what I mean? Like it's got some nice ornamentation, but it's not gaudy. Is the ornamentation like the tent? It is like the tent, yeah. So whoever's in that tent is naked in this room. Tug pads down his eyebrows. I'm going to go look. Yeah, I'm going to go try and find a naked person.

And then you hear him like run off and then you hear him go, Allison. I will say that it's not a huge place. Like there's maybe one more chamber next to it, but it's a pretty small complex. And Perel's looking around like, this is incredible. Can I discern realities? Yeah, totally. Yes. Nine. Nine. Nine. Thing, can you help me? Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I show him the cloak. Wow. Plus bond. Cool. Eight. All right. That's a 10. You get three questions from discern realities.

What happened here recently? Someone entered this building, lit all these braziers and sconces for some reason, probably heard you all coming, heard the like grinding of the huge worm and black spire and, and then the you're just looking everywhere. It's a pretty, it's the room is so still besides the burning fire that you're like surprised that there are supposedly somebody in here and you're looking at the paintings.

You're looking at the sculptures and statues and you find one statue that you're like pretty impressed by. Cause it's a little bit more ornate than everything else in here. And you're looking at it for a while and you get closer and you realize that this statue has also been lit from within. It's a statue of a person, a humanoid figure about five and a half feet tall. And Billy, you climb up on it and you're looking at the face.

It's this like pretty jovial looking like it has an outline of like the smiling eyes. And then like a very calmly smiling mouth. And you're like, Hmm, tapping on it and stuff like that. And then you are pretty surprised when the statue moves. Billy, it's a gin. And it pushes Billy. The statue pushes you off of it and starts scrambling to the other side of the room. Oh no. Uh, what is about to happen? Uh, this gin is trying to get away. It's, it's running towards the door. Oh my God.

It certainly looks like a gin. As soon as Billy starts inspecting it, tuck clocks that it was a gin that Billy's over by. So he starts moving to like catch it. Yeah. Okay. Sounds good. Uh, defy danger, dexterity, uh, nine help. I can aid. Yeah. Bing also dashes over. Yeah. Perel, uh, tries to help and immediately trips over a low bench and hits the ground because Hugo, I'll stay here. Nurse my shin. Yeah. Yeah. I'll hold down the fort. Great. Seven. All right. 10. So what do you do?

Just tackle this thing. No tuck whips off the Dick adventure. Man. Lasso that he's been. Oh yeah. Sorry. Not Dirk. Dirk adventure. Man. He whips off the Dirk adventure. Man. Lasso that he's had this whole time. And he's like, not so fast. Evil do. Being in parallel with each other. Like, uh, he's doing it. He said the line. Yeah. And he, he like, he whips the lasso at the gin, trying to catch it. And he says, cardamom, help me. Cause his horse, his name is cardamom in the book.

And the, uh, the rope does horse with the iron. Who thinks like, I guess I'm cardamom in this. Yeah. I think I need your fucking help. No problem. I've been a horse before. I can do it right now. Uh, Ving uses his, um, saffron rope and gets him on the other side. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Nice. So we are like kind of hog tied. Yeah. You get this thing on both sides. You get with the one lasso around it, it keeps running and then you get the other lasso around it and it just stops, holds up its hands.

It goes, I surrender. It speaks. Why have you come here? Who are you? I don't have to tell you that. Why not? We have you tied up. Who are you? We are not having to tell you that. Not. Yeah. Until you tell us. Tell us who you are. Real standoff here. Yeah. Now they're getting cagey. You're, it's, you're one of nine. Come on. Like we know you're not third. One of 11. Okay. 11's dead. Okay. All right. Okay. I am ninth. Ninth. Where are you from?

That is a complicated question, but I'm a resident of the world. What does that mean? I am a historian, a scholar. I travel. Huh. A rogue. It laughs. Yeah. It's laugh. Sounds like, cause it's like crackling flame inside. I suppose a rogue. Yes. Huh? A real dick adventurement. Fuck. Chuck is actually getting it wrong. And ninth tilts his head. When you say dick adventurement, Dirk, I meant Dirk adventurement. I am unfamiliar. And then tuck takes out the book that he is now obsessed with.

And he gives it to the gin. Hmm. Oh, the gin reads it instantly. Oh yeah. Like the ninth reaches out and his clay fingers like touch the book for a moment. And that laugh that emits again. Ah, exciting. Wait, you read it just by touching it. Information is my specialty. Oh, do each of the gins have like, a special, uh, you can roll Spout Lore. Or can I use gods in their servants? There you go. You can use gods in your servants. Fuck you. Spout Lore. What? I'm excited that you're using this.

So what's your question? Oh, do the gin have different specialties? Yeah. So the ones that we know are third and I don't have a way that doesn't sound like a real world religion to say this, but third is basically the sort of God. Yeah. Like the most powerful warrior. Amongst the 11 gin eighth is the one that lives in McCall and just lives a humble life is like a tailor or something like that. What's their specialty?

Eighth just loves people and decided that she wanted to live in McCall and the, the dinner kind of a family. So they keep tabs on each other. Oh, but eighth is one of the least involved. Whoa. And third killed 11th. Yeah, that's a big deal. What was 11th? 11th. No one really knows actually. Wow. I don't know. Like it happened long enough ago. It happened like right after they were created sort of thing. Yeah. The stories are unclear.

Eighth, 11th is basically considered like in the religion, like a heretic, a rebel, like tried to tear down the church of the flame and was destroyed for it. Holy shit. Yeah. That's relevant to our current quest. And yeah, ninth is a traveler, a historian. Well, like, yeah, a historian traveler. They, they like to, they like to investigate lost cultures. Yeah. A rogue scholar places just like this. Cool. Yeah. Sort of like a keeper. Yeah. They want to learn about like the history of the world.

So they're drawn to ruins and old cities. Cool. Cool. But yeah, so this is ninth. Oh, I, I actually forgot what didn't look like. Are they like all like clay? Yeah. They have hollow ceramic bodies. They also look very different. Like thirds look basically like a suit of armor. Yeah. And a furious, like grimacing face. Whereas ninth is very small comparatively and has a very smiling, benevolent face. Oh, okay. Yeah. But moves just very humanistic. Yeah, exactly.

He just kind of looks like a history professor. So eighth would have to like dress up in wraps. Like, are they trying to blend in? Yeah. And actually, uh, ninth goes over and picks up the robe that you found and starts putting it back on. Okay. He takes the robe from Billy. Man, I guess. Yeah. Sorry. Thank you. I'll close my eyes while you get dressed. Sorry. Uh, no apology necessary.

I, I admit that I, I may have panicked when I heard people coming and, uh, I thought that it was best that I hide, but I see that you found me. So my name is Bing. I'm Billy. Bing, Billy. I'm Tacoma dome. Tacoma dome. The barbarian. And I am Perel. Oh, sorry. Shit. I forgot he was here. And, uh, he whips the hat off of my head and then does a flourishing. Let's sit back on. Yeah. And, and ninth nods at each of you in turn. I admit I am, um, frightened, worried. Why have you come to this place?

Uh, cause we're looking for the dark church. Our friend here used to be a magician. That is right. I used to be a magician. I'm a magician of great power and importance. Okay. Perel, just calm down. Easy. I don't know why you're using that voice. I was a, I was a wizard. I was a wizard and I'm not anymore because of any kind of tilt his head a tuck. Some people. Yeah. We killed a dick monster that lived inside of him. Uh, the, and then that took away his power. Hmm.

And now he's really upset about it. As you can tell. And also I, and then I turned to probably like you said you wouldn't bring it up anymore. We're just, we, we, we met somebody new who needs to know what we're doing. And if part of that is that they need to know how you fucked me, then, uh, you know, that's just part of it. Okay. Are you serious? Yeah. I'm serious that we need to tell this. We need to tell ninth what happened. Oh my God. Okay, fine. Am I being, am I being an asshole?

Am I being an asshole? He looks at all of you, your tones being an asshole. Okay. All right. All right. I'll come. All right. We anyways, a gin. You're a gin. I am a gin. Yes. And I have come here. I suspect for the same reasons that you have to, uh, also look for the dark guard and get Pearl, his wizard magic back. And also to figure out the secrets of the dark church. Yes. Perhaps we have not come here for exactly the same reasons. Okay. Okay. What did you come here for?

Well, I'm sure that you are well aware, but the torch of McCall was recently. Defeated has gone missing. Oh, Oh, no way. Who's that? Ah, I see. We wouldn't know where he is right now. And as you're all like, Oh yeah, that's crazy. Wow. That's the first I'm hearing about this. Talk starts knocking on a obsidian pillar. He's like, Oh, is this? Oh, what is it made out of? And ninth nods and says, ah, I see. See what? Sorry. My voice. So high. I'm not nervous.

So please, you are speaking with one who has spent millennia connecting the dots as it were history and information come to me as easy as breath to you. You can stop blinking that much. Now, Doug is blinking so much. What are you talking about? And a ninth holds up one of their hands and is like, I bear no I'll will. Towards you. Oh, okay. Okay. Oh God, we fucking murdered him. We really did him in. We didn't murder him. He's still alive. He's just a prisoner. He's our prisoner.

It's a turn of phrase. The demon is all like tied up and he can't like do anything right now. And we're trying to like kill the demon or something like don't want him here anymore. To be fair, he asked for our help. Yeah. Billy's so nervous that he starts burping. He puked a lot. A little bit that time. That shepherd's pie is repeating on all of us. Yeah, it's not good. It's not great. So glad I didn't need any of that. Yeah.

And to be totally honest, the quest we're on right now, we got Farhan is the one that told us to come here to figure out. Cause he like the demon of zealotry that was writing him. What had like these machinations to do with the dark guards. We're just trying to fucking figure out like anything. As, as am I. After the, the torch went missing, I spoke with some of my siblings and one was able to deliver to me a coin bearing an eye and made of black as stone. Oh yeah. Like these.

And I threw it around in my backpack. So I can't find anything in this thing. Sorry. It's just a Pez dispenser. Oh fuck. In the shape of a hippo. That's weird. Just dumps it all out. Like it's a big purse. Those ones. Ah, yes. Identical to those. Yes. And I suspected that there was some connection. A symbol of an eye has cropped up many times in the history of McCall. And in my research, I found reference to this place and I followed my instincts. And here we are.

It's serendipitous that our paths are to cross me, a servant of the God of the flame and you, those who defeated the God's most powerful servant. Your goal is to, to investigate the dark guard itself and to return your friend's power. Yeah, I guess so. Wait, you're a servant of the God in so many words. Yes. If it were not for the God of the flame, I would be formless. Oh, do you like being a gin or is this like a slave situation? It is difficult to explain.

Spill or no, no, it is really yells that at, tell us it is difficult to explain. Did you choose to be born? I did. Yeah, Billy did. Yeah. And ninth looks at you for a moment or, you know, their ceramic face plate turns to you and goes, ah, a fairy. Yes. Fascinating. Thank you. Okay. So perhaps not your experience, but before, before, I was bound to this body, I existed in a realm between. And then after untold aeons of life, I found myself in this body and I could rebel.

I could fight it, but instead I chose to experience a world I had not. And here I am. Were you, were you in the outer dark? Hmm. Is that the realm that you came from? No, me and my siblings, my family, we are something else. Like what? We, we are embers of a greater fire. We are cinders given life. Wow. Sparks given the opportunity to walk amongst the people and experience. That which would be destroyed by the presence of a great conflagration. What was it?

A sneeze or a last sneeze into a laugh. That was a huge burp. Okay. Really quietly barfed into his hands at the magnitude of the situation. And then respectfully put it on the ground. Respectfully ate it again. I'm so sorry. Sorry. There's a lot. I'm just really nervous. What is the God of the Flame, then? That is not for me to answer. How do you contact? We are. Always. How does the sun contact the moon? The light shines, the fire burns.

What is the God of the Flame's interest in the Dark Church? And the Dark Guard. That, again, I cannot speak to. I can only speak to my own interest, and that is understanding. And watching. Preparing, should the time to act come. And this appears to me to be the closest that time to act has ever been. If it's true that the so-called Torch of Makal represented a greater movement than the Torch of Makal, then I'm not sure.

If it's true that the so-called Torch of Makal represented a greater movement than the Torch of Makal, within the Outer Dark, with eyes upon creation, then we are all in great danger. Of what? Perpetuation? Is that a word? It deliberately asks the three of you. I don't know much about words. I am the wrong person to ask. The Dark Guard wishes to sow a field, the crops of which they can reap for eternity. Preservation. Preservation, yes. And ninth points at Tacoma. Yes.

The Dark Guard may or may not seek to… Enslave the world, if that is not too fine a point to put on things. What is their harvest? Continuation. Okay. They wish to create environments in which they can continue their work for eternity. Oh, shit. Yeah. This is like what the Torch told us. Remember when we were fighting him, where he was like, I win as long as I can keep going. Right. So like, if the Torch… Oh, I see.

Like, if the icon of competition wanted to continue forever, imagine if the Olympics never ended. Right. You know what I mean? Their goal is to create a place where each icon can exist in perpetuity, be themselves. Essentially self-actualize for eternity. Yeah. So they always want to, like, create an environment where there's always turmoil, basically. Because if you solve it, then they have nothing left to move towards.

But if everyone's fighting and confused, then it just keeps going on for generations, as long as you fuel that. Exactly. Like, if we were talking about the other day, like, if icons want to bring order to things, they want to always bring order. They want to bring order forever. And for that to happen, there has to be chaos as well. Mm-hmm. So they want a never-ending cycle. Yeah, exactly. They just want a feedback loop that never, ever ends. Yeah. At least that is my hypothesis.

I, myself, am considering what my next steps would be. In my watching, if the so-called torch was but one piece of the puzzle, then I am looking for an opportunity to find the next. What is your next step? Can we come with you? You seem like you know what you're doing. We have a dragon. I must confer, I believe, with my siblings. Yes. The city itself is something that we all care a great deal about. And following the disappearance of the Torch of McCall, the city itself is in great turmoil.

And this is not something that we can comfortably abide. The city is our god's greatest work. And we will see it through. As for what your gold is, I can't say. Yeah, what do we want to… Let's talk as players. Yeah. What do you guys want? Do you want… Is it of your greatest priority to help Perel get his magic back? That's his greatest priority. He needs it. Is it to stop the Dark Guard? Do you think you're like, let's save the world kind of people? Or do you have your own goals?

Do I want Perel to get his magic back? Maybe. But maybe not. And out of spite? I don't want you to have your power back. Or just because you don't really care? No. Because like… As I'm learning more about all this stuff, I'm like, I'm seeing the point where it's like evil-ish. Yeah. Oh, magic. Yeah. Like, do you want your uncle to have a speedboat? Like, I don't. And I don't want him to make more frogs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

He's gonna fucking get drunk and drive that thing into a Bennigan's for sure. But also, he's like, I want him to stop wearing mustaches and costumes. And I think the only way to do that is to get his magic back. We got him. We got him.

I think that also, yeah, at least you can imagine, Tuck, from the stories you heard, and Ving, from the books you've been reading, the idea of the Dark Guard as like the Dark Guard, capital T, capital D, capital G, was a way from a call to conceptualize this idea that there's this union of malevolent forces. But it's not like it exists in the sense that they're not like, the Power Rangers, and we're the evil Power Rangers. Yeah.

They're not a fucking council that meets on top of a black mountain during a thunderstorm. Yeah, exactly. And makes evil plans. It's just, yeah. At least the torch seems to have been, according to Farhan, a powerful icon that had an overarching goal that involved other icons, which at least as far as you know for demons is unusual. That's what the most unusual thing is. They don't usually even acknowledge each other, but these ones seem to be considering other icons as they act.

So should we figure out why they're doing that? Yeah. I was just thinking about earlier seasons where we were talking about how magic created all these openings and portals for stuff to move between basically the spirit world and the material world. And it's like, what if we got Pearl's magic back, but instead of like frogs, we could find out how… How to basically like toss those demons back out to the outer dark. Yeah. Yeah. That's an interesting idea. And be able to close it up.

Like reestablish the kind of walls between the worlds. Yeah. Yeah. And use his excitement and fervency of getting his old power back to actually do something good. Yeah. Now that he's been traveling around seeing, like we're doing big things accidentally sort of. Yeah. The way we fumble through the world. Yeah. Yeah. But he was taking that in too. Totally. Right? Yeah. He knows that there's bigger things out here than frogs. Yeah. He's learned…

He's learned a lot about the world in the last year. He's seen a lot more than he did when he was a man. Because he basically… He was a dude that was like born in the principalities and became a wizard when he was like in his mid 40s. Yeah. And then lived for, you know, 100, 200 years after that. Basically as royalty. It really… I can totally see the logic.

Behind like, okay, well, we got a guy who's like looking to get his magic back and magic in the past has been a huge tool, like a huge weapon. So why don't we prioritize getting this magic back? And then that could help. Because also like, there's no way we're going to be able to like chuck out a bunch of demons without any sort of like further progress into like getting magic back. Yeah. Actually, yeah. You think there might be a connection.

Perel has told you that he thinks that he's going to be able to get his magic back. I think there might be a connection to the disappearance of the wizards and that absence and why it became… Easier? Easier for icons to pass into the material world. Yeah. This makes a lot of sense because the Exodus is what kicked all of this shit off. So it sounds like we need to try to like figure out what other demons are opening up the cracks in the worlds.

Like the other pieces of the chain, the dark guard. And… But we also need to help… We also need to help Perel get his magic back so we can close those cracks. Yeah. Back up. And… Ninth is like, once you guys are like, okay, yeah. So maybe we should think about trying to prioritize getting Perel's magic back. And Perel's like, thank you. This is what I've been saying for months. He comes up in between all of us talking. Yeah. He pushes his way up through the middle of your huddle.

Thank you. How do you still smell like hamburger helper? This is fucking crazy. I don't know what you mean. And he walks away and starts eating something out of his pocket. Are you serious? Are you serious? No, I'm kidding. It's too old now. And Ninth has just been walking around looking at stuff. Like touching a painting, touching a sculpture. And Ninth actually… Ninth calls from across the room. I'm sorry. I was distracted.

But now that I think about it, there is somewhat of a correlation in the world's history between the frequency and magnitude of iconic presence on the planet. And the disappearance of wizards. That's fascinating. And then is looking at a candelabra. Because the dark church is so steeped in the druidic magic. Is this our rabbit hole to go down to get him his magic? Like these ancient, ancient rituals that led wizards to grab from the druids.

This is the underground like relic of old druidic and dark elf magic. Yeah. Starting him back at the beginning of like the history of druidic and wizard magic. And who better to guide us on a historic thing than the djinn, the spirit of history. Well, there's some bad news there. Oh, no. Something interesting that Ninth mentions is… I have no legs. I can't walk. I just float around like a little ball of light. Lieutenant Dan, you ain't got no legs. Uh. That's fine. Lieutenant. Lieutenant.

Lieutenant. Ninth mentions, when it comes to this so-called dark church, there is a gap in my understanding. That knowledge is unavailable to me. Wait, what do you mean unavailable? You just don't know it? I've just, I've never, I've heard of almost all things, but this dark church is elusive. You're in a dark church. You just read a book about the dark church. There's more truth in that than you know. And Ninth looks around and goes, oh. Oh, fascinating.

And starts walking around the room again. Wait. What? Wait, wait, wait. What do you remember about this book? Dark Adventureman. Traveler. Adventurer. But what, what, what is the, what is the title of this book? Bringer of the Black Flame. What is the title of the book? Do you remember the title of the book? Fascinating. Fascinating. And Ninth reaches out and touches the book again. Dark Adventureman. Explorer. Archaeologist. Title of the book? What the fuck? What?

He can't see the truth in this book. Fascinating. He's only seeing the fiction. Oh, shit. He's got selective eye brains. How? What? Thing says. Selective eye brains? I've seen it before. Mostly in racists. I love saying something like selective eye brains. And then following it up with, I've seen it before. Yeah. This thing that doesn't make any sense. There was a kid in my school. He's dumb as shit. Yeah. He missed all of gym because it's selective eye brain. So like, does the gin see stuff?

And then if it doesn't like basically serve the God of the flame, it's wiped from him. Hard to say. It just, it would appear that information about this specific place and the people that gathered here slides right off. Oh my God. What if he was here to do? Oh my God. Destroy this dark church. Why are you here? To gather information about what? How? I was here to investigate Chronicle. I cannot recall. I must go. I cannot remain here any longer.

And ninth, like bundles up his robe, like around his chest and starts rushing out of the room. It was a pleasure to meet you. How do we keep? Contact with you. If I require your services, I will find you. What if we need you though? My siblings are my siblings will. I must go. I, I'm sorry. And yeah, it's the guy like just, he, he mentioned, he says like my siblings, the city, like it's a bunch of his thoughts are very jumbled right now. And he goes, I'm sorry, I must go.

And hustles out of the room and turns in the doorway and says, it was a pleasure to meet you. And then walks out and turns to the right and goes, hello. And you hear, and then turns to the left and carries on up the tunnels. That's the thing I just realized about the fact that being in this dragon, we're having pretty casual conversation is we're deaf now for sure.

I think Black Spire was being pretty considerate about that after a while, like after he would speak and he'd see Billy like cover his ears. He'd be like, okay, I gotta be quiet. It's just a lot. Yeah. Uh, okay. So you ninth has gone. And, um, from the doorway, you see Black Spire shove his way further in so he can see the doorway and turns his head into the passage. It was like everything was going on. Is everything still cool? Everything good. Yeah.

I think we just want to look around for another second. I'm going to spend some time. I can commune with the whispers of this church. Oh, it's so cool. Okay. Should I have eaten that guy? No. What did you eat that? No, no, no, no. Spit him out right now. You spit him out. No, I'm wondering if I should eat that guy. No, no, no, no, no. Okay. All right. Well, okay. I'm just gonna, I'm just vibing. I'm just literally vibing out here. So take your time.

It's like, like eyes closed, not watching, plugging his ears from all the worm sex happening. He's got little earbuds in and he's listening to new metal. Just take your time. I'm just listening, listening to Uncle Cracker. That's what we hear from his ear. I don't know. He puts the back. Okay. Oh yeah. Communal whispers. I always get so excited when you use this move.

When you've spent time in a place making note of its resident spirits and calling on the spirits of the land, roll plus wisdom to be granted a vision of significance to you, your allies, and the spirits around you. 10 plus visions clear and helpful. Seven to nine visions unclear. Great. Holy shit. 11. Whoa. Yes. I think that, cause we just talked about. Oh, maybe this dark church has rituals that are connected to ways to get power.

I think that's what the vision you have is, is one of those rituals taking place that like that happened in this church. You sit there and you're burning your desert sage and trying to get into your vision pocket that you usually are in when you do this shit, which is really hard. Yeah. How does Ving do it? Uh, he used to go into the spirit world, didn't he? Yeah. Back in the day when he communed with the whispers.

So maybe now you're feeling yourself connect to something else that you're unfamiliar with, but feels similar. It's familiar, but alien. And this, you're connecting to this like current, this river of something, energy, spirit. You're not really sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Drop into your vision state.

Your eyes cloud over and you're given sight beyond sight, looking through the eyes of another, and you open your eyes and you're in this room, in this church, but you're surrounded by figures. There are people all around you wearing rough-spun hempen robes and carved wooden animal masks of a variety of figures. There's a wolf, a stag, a bird, there's like a fish. It's a lot of weird, different types of animals.

And standing in front of you, there is a figure whose mask is a melding of animal and human features that looks like the figure represented in the mask is in great pain. And you can tell that the mask itself has been burned. You can see like… You know when you look at a burned log and the wood is split in ashy in some places? It looks like that. And they're standing in front of you. Between you and this person is that obsidian brazier. And they're holding in their hand a cup.

And that cup, you know, is full of blood. And you know that moments ago, someone was slain to fill that cup. And they walk in front of you, stand at the edge of the brazier in front of you, and pour the blood into the brazier. And the bowl is filled with black flame. And you know that the next step is to thrust your hands into the flame and eat the burning cinders inside. And you do this, searing your mouth and tongue. You can feel the embers sliding down your throat into your stomach.

And you are filled with elation. As the power of the person that was slain fills you and connects you to a greater purpose. And you come back to your own Ving human body, half-elf body, in this empty room and a cold brazier in front of you. The flames have since gone out. The magic is very dark. I'm saying this to Peril. Is it too dark? Or do you think that it's worth it? It takes a blood sacrifice. Are you ready to draw blood to get that power back? I'm not sure. What now?

Maybe there's like a less bloody ritual that we can find. Like, that was just one. You just saw one of the potential ones. Maybe there's like a way to fix it or make it better or less gross and weird and eyes wide shut-esque. When I had my ritual, when they- I sacrificed my ability to shape shift, I reluctantly and at great pains to me and my spirit shifted through every form I've ever taken and they drew blood from each form. Wait, they? I always thought you just did this on your own. No.

There were others. Are there people in McCall that know more about this stuff? Yes. Do we go find them? Yeah, I feel like the next step is that we go find these people. They found me. Oh. I have no idea how to find them. Do we need to go back to the city? That's where they found me. Alright. Well then we return to the library, we tell Farah what we found, and then we go to McCall and we track these people down. Alright. That's where we're gonna end it for this week.

I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers. Take care. Playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian Abdulaziz. So long. And playing Fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai. Bye everyone. Thanks to Erin Reid for our intro and outro music as always. And thank you to you, our incredible supporters.

Uh, you can support the show online at speltloremostplaces, including patreon.com slash speltlore, where you can get access to exclusive bonus material, exclusive merchandise, and, uh, join our discord. Show notes have a link to that. Everybody's welcome. Come on by. And if you feel so inclined, leave us a review on iTunes. We'd really appreciate it. See you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three, who tried the best they can.

Though dumb and scared and lost they be, for time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I'd gladly Spout Lore. See you then.

If you enjoy Spout Lore, go online to www.patreon.com to check out the community access to our bonus game, Blades in the Dark. Spell more, Mall Brats. Check it all out over there. Come join the community. That was really good. You said spell more, but it was great. Take out that L sound. Oh, cool. I'll just remove a sound. I'll just remove a sound. Fingers have health, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and brightest, they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. Welcome to Spout Lore, everybody. I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me is always playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Good morning. Playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Good morning.

When last we left our heroes, they embarked on a journey into the Al-Kholi desert in search of ancient giant ruins in the mysterious Sand Eater Canyon, led by the intrepid explorer, Perel. Oh, no. In his tight leather pants. In Dirk Adventureman cosplay. Yeah, functionally cosplaying as the protagonist of his new favorite book series, Bringers of the Black Flame. Ving was really into these books. Yeah. He used to be really into it.

Yeah, you know when you're a fan of something, and then you meet someone who's really a fan of something, and you're like, maybe I don't like this. Is this what we look like? Yeah, right? That's how Star Wars fandom feels to me, when I'm like, well, I don't like it that much. Yeah. You, what's the word? Whatever the active verb of excursion is into the desert on the sand boat, Denouement, before almost instantly crashing that boat on a dune due to your inattentive natures, we'll say.

Yeah, Tuck actually also is a fan of this book series now, because he got caught up reading that book while he was supposed to be scouting. Right. Because when Perel was describing the clues that he found, in the book, with the plot of the book, Tuck was enraptured. Yeah, Tuck was like- By his synopsis. Fuck, are you kidding me? He kissed a girl and then killed a guy? I've never even thought of doing that. I've only done one of those things ever. Only the one.

And after crashing the boat, you continued on foot for a while, Tuck dragging the remains of the sand boat behind you before drawing the attention of a sand shark. And escaping in some sort of feat of toboggan style propulsion. Finding an outcropping in the sand that had a light, Billy was able to spy with his binoculars, or his bilnoculars, or whatever we decided to call them. Oh, yeah. And you escaped the sand shark, but not before it destroyed your boat. Discovering a tent with no one inside.

And you notice some footprints leading from the tent to- Yeah. To the direction that you believe Sand Eater Canyon to be in, which was then confirmed when you arrived at Sand Eater Canyon, the mating grounds of the Alcoly sandworm- Hot. Mm-hmm. And the footprints entered into the canyon itself. An ancient piece of masonry was then found in a jumble of stone containing the eye symbol that you found on the coins all those many seasons ago.

And that eye symbol is affiliated with the outer dark, right? The coins are affiliated with the dark guard, yeah. You're not sure if the symbol is, but you're sure seen in a lot of places. Okay. It looks similar, yeah. Mm-hmm. And then you also found a similar obsidian coin placed into a groove in the wall of this ancient stone entrance. And that is where we left our heroes and where we find them now.

Underneath a very rickety ancient stone door that Billy has determined may or may not crash down at any moment, and an obsidian coin in the wall. What do you do? Um. Okay, so we have to tread lightly because of the traps here. Can you point them out? Yes, I can. Great. You see the bricks on the floor? Yeah. The lighter color ones don't step on those. Perfect. Sounds good. Yeah. So everybody give me a defy danger, I guess dexterity to lightly step. Walk like you have a secret. Water. I got eight.

All right. I got 10. Three. That really makes sense. Great. It does. It absolutely makes sense. Because Tuck loves telling people his secrets. Spectacular. So Ving just does his light as a feather. He even like you, even if he touches one of the bricks, it doesn't depress because he's so light on his feet. He's like, oh, oh, oh, hey. Billy, while crossing the bricks, you feel in the grip. You're on the ground like a for a second, but you're safe. I'm walking like a little raccoon on all fours.

That's Billy's walk like you have a secret. Absolutely it is. Yeah. Like when a dog, you put boots on a dog and they put one hand up after every step. He's like, this is the most effective way to sneak. Tuck does not get the memo. Perel passes after Billy and then Tuck walks through and is like, I did it. I missed the brick. Whew. Whew. Master thief. And you keep walking and you smash your head on something on the door. That's halfway down. Yeah.

And a chunk breaks loose and starts to slam down right on top of you. So roll a D six. Three. Yeah. It's a really heavy stone door. So you take three damage. And yeah, this door starts crushing down on you. It smashes you on the head as it starts to fall. Can I do unbound unbent unbroken to just take the hit? Or is it better? That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. We did it for water once. We can do it for a door. It's basically the same. Yeah. Unbound unbent unbroken. 11. Well, there you go. Yeah.

What's a 10 plus on unbound unbent unbroken? On a hit, you either take half damage or you can completely ignore one other I'll effect. On a 10 plus, you can also defeat, expose, or frustrate your oppressor with your stubbornness. I think like the defeating the oppressor is like as it comes down. It just shatters. It shatters on me and turns into rubble. Yeah. Because I've also got the axe on my back. So as it makes contact with TLC, it just goes. Totally. I like that. Yeah.

So instead of sealing yourselves into this ancient giant ruin, you still have your way out. Yeah. And a dark passageway stands before you, winding down into the depths of the hills. What do you do? Vink puts the sunstone onto the head of his spear. Oh, sorry. That's his amethyst little spike glowing cool purple light. You like lash it to the actual crystal and then the crystal emits the light for you. Yeah. It amplifies it, refracts it around. Nice.

He can like, you know, hold it up at the end and illuminate things out of reach. Totally. Past this shattered door. Now that you have crumbled the last remaining mechanism of an ancient masterpiece. I frustrated it. I think is what the move says. You frustrated a door. Hey, man, you take what wins you can get. Yeah. You find yourselves standing in a long straight corridor. That's about 20 feet wide and probably 40 feet tall. And you realize that you came with lights in hand.

But when you look up, you think that the area being such a hotbed for sandworm activity, quote unquote, orgies, has left styrations of the worm glass. Stray Asian. What did I say? It's duration. I'm going to stick with that. Okay. Has left styrofoam strips of worm glass kind of worked through the ceiling, dripping down the walls. So the corridor itself is lit with this pale blue glow dripping. Gooping. Yeah. Some of it falls on the side of your face. Tuck. There's so much worm coming. Here.

There's so much worm coming. Here. It smells like chlorine a little bit. Let's get out of here. Start running. We've changed our minds. We're going home. Bing is filling a jar. Screwing the lid on. Do you know how hard it is to find this stuff in a liquid state? So add that to your inventory. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's probably going to come in handy. I don't think it's. How does the worm come? I don't think it's actually gooping. It is totally. You said it's gooping, Sean.

Because it makes sense because the front entryway, this hallway is collapsed in and there are worms going nuts in these sand dunes on the outside. So some of it would be permeating. It's a particularly heavy mating season this year. There's heavy flow. That's what Jessica laughed into the mic. So everyone knows that you guys are just staring blankly at me while I'm disgusting. That Jessica's covering her mouth because she's laughing. She's laughing so hard at the words heavy flow.

There's like reports that the city releases like once a week where it's like, hey, it's centaur mating season. Nobody going to centaur quarter. We're closing off centaur quarter. And like those, it's like weather advisories. And the weather advisory right now is like, worm mating season, heavy flow. Much thrashing. Much thrashing. And then it's like fire safety. Do warnings when you go camping. And the level that we're at is slither fest. Oh, I thought you were going to say extreme. Yeah.

It's like, it's like none mild, moderate, extreme. Tsunami. And they move a little wooden cutout of a worm into the section of the, of the list, like a, yeah, like a fire, forced fire advisory. And yeah, so the pale blue light that's emitting from this worm goo is illuminating the corridor that you're in. But in the way that, you know, when you're outside and the moon is bright and you're like pretty sure you can see stuff, but you're not a hundred percent sure you're getting all the details.

Cool. You know, you're like, is that my car or is that just a pile of logs? Is Billy's confidence affecting his ability to see in the dark? Cause I remember that was a discussion last time. Right. And I'm very confident. So then I can see. Yeah. So you can see the dark. I don't know. Can I roll to see if I can see? Uh, I think you have a move that allows you to just create light when you're in the dark, whenever you want, doesn't it? You're looking at your old character sheet.

No, I forgot my other sheets. So you have a fairy move called willow, the wisp. Ah, yes. That allows you to create light whenever you want, but not confidence. How many moves of that do I have? It's at will. Oh, then I fucking do it. Cause I want to go the come hallway. So I make a willow, the wisp for it to light the way. It's just a little light in front of me. Great. So what does your willow, the wisp look like? Just a little ball of light that Bob's around. Yeah.

I didn't make it fancy this time. Cute. Yeah. And as Billy's willow, the wisp is leading the way and Billy is scurrying out of the come hallway. And I go, look, look at those footprints. They stepped in the come so we can see where they're going. Follow the come everybody. Follow the come brick road. Follow the come brick road. Someone would like to roll something. We can potentially make that real. So discern reality. I saw the come footprints first. Things. That. In. Come. Brick road.

Come to the come. Well, did you get five? But what is it? Plus wisdom. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. No, but we all rolled stuff. So you literally said I saw the come first. What did you roll? I tripped. I rolled to add to the come and I got a four. I only rolled one day. So I get to roll because I'm leading the way. So this is so illegal. What did you get? Jessica? Hmm. Oh, wisdom. Seven. Bullshit. Bullshit. Seven. I'm so mad at all of you right now. Seven.

I will say that I'm going to allow you to have this one question from discern realities. I will never allow you to do that again. Yeah. I'm just going to mark a point of experience for the failure. No, that's against the law. You're not getting the points for failing. Really close to leveling up. Just let me hold on a second. Let me just get a couple in here. It's just like a click farm, but for leveling. Okay. So what's your question? Okay. So Billy's leading the way with his little willow.

The wisp. What did I roll again? Discern reality. Yes. I'm so sorry. You get one question from discern realities. Yeah. So who should I be on the lookout for? So yeah, you carry into this corridor about 30 or 40 feet straight ahead and you see that yeah, whoever was in here stepped. In this liquid glowing worm goo. The footsteps carry on out of the hallway into a wider chamber at the end of it. Okay, let's go. Let's go. Oh, that goo. Yeah.

And as you walk down this corridor following the worm goo footsteps, you see that there are massive elaborate beautifully done carvings covering the walls on both sides. Tech doesn't look he's transfixed by the come by the come tracks. Yeah. And but and you can hear. Yeah. The trail behind you speaking as if you were all right next to him. Just absolutely incredible. We hear it getting further and further work. The work, the workmanship, the cultural importance, the significant.

God, take a rubbing already. Yeah. We're following this rubbing man. Is there a door to the big chamber? It's so the corridor goes for 50 more feet ahead of you, but there is no door at the end and it opens into a wider chamber. Also illuminated by styrofoam. Strips of worm cum on the ceilings. Everywhere. Oh my God. And you see so much goddamn beauty in the world. So the chamber at the end of the corridor extends for about a hundred feet on your left and right and then 300 feet ahead of you.

So it's roughly 200 by 300 feet and has 150 foot ceilings. We're going Dungeons and Dragons style. You guys know the exact height. And measurement of rooms that you're in. This is a really tall route because giants are only like 30 feet tall. Yeah. Why fuck is this room so tall? Who can say? I look around. I look for it. Are there like upper levels or balconies or anything? No, just a vaulted ceiling.

And those carvings that you've been ignoring because you want to stare at worm cum cover the walls in here as well. And you see an elaborate tile work on the ceiling as well. Ooh, cool. What's it look like? Spout Lore. Can we all Spout Lore? Yeah. Totally. Totally. I will also just tell you because you would be looking directly at them. In the center of the room, separated by maybe 50 feet, there are two lines of three statues facing each other.

Like three statues of giants, three statues of giants facing one another. Cool. All looking very stern and powerful and statuesque. Wow. Being statues. Do they have any tools in their hands? They do. Yes. They all seem to be holding various work implements, hammers, tongs, the like. Although there's one that appears to be holding some sort of tuba style horn that's wrapped around the shoulder across the chest, like one arm through.

And this person, yeah, is just holding what appears to be an instrument of some kind. So you were saying that the giants really revere like trades people and people with crafts. So do each of these like represent almost like one of the core jobs of giant society? That's definitely what you would assume if you would roll some dice. Oh, okay. And perhaps Spout Lore about this, this environment. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's plus audacity. Okay. 2d6 plus… Intelligence for Spout Lore. Oh, wait. I also have bardic lore. Yeah. So can I just use bardic lore for that? So bardic lore means that you get to ask a question. When you first encounter, what is it? You have gods and your servants. And legends of guitar heroes pass. Okay. These people seem like they are legendary to have sculptures made out of them. Even if they're not individuals. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you remember hearing stories.

There was this old woman that told stories to the street kids of McCall. Ooh. Mona. Mona. Yeah. Every once in a while, you'd go to this old woman named Mona who would tell you stories about McCall's history. The ancient, ancient history. She was an old orc woman. And she told you stories about the giant empire and all that kind of stuff. You don't remember all of it because you had a pretty stressful life. But you do remember hearing about the religion of the giants.

And they did worship or revere it at the very least. Six. Sort of trade gods. Cool. So the ones that I have are masonry. Mm-hmm. Carving. Like actual artistic carvings. Smithing. Mm-hmm. Something called artificing. Oh. Music. They considered music a craft. Cool. Worthy of reverence. And glass blowing. Huh. Yeah. So you see. Just blowing? Just the glass blowing? Glass working. Glass working. Yeah. Glass work was very important to them. That's cool. Mm-hmm.

So you see the various implements of those crafts. Spread amongst the six statues. That's interesting. Mining isn't one? They didn't consider mining a craft. Oh. It was just like dredge work. Yeah. It's like the thing you do so you can do the craft. Okay. Yeah. Cool. And those are the statues that you see. Are there any like paintings? Yeah. If you look around as well. Billy, you're following your will-o'-the-wisp. I kind of like the idea that the will-o'-the-wisp is almost like a pet. Yeah.

Actually. Now that I've got away from it. From the horrible hallway. I've turned it into like a little wicker cat. Oh. And so it's like curling around my legs. I'm like, hi, little guy. And I'm looking at the wall paintings. Oh, yeah. You want to Spout Lore about them? Yeah. Yeah. Do it. 2d6 plus intelligence. A seven. Though you were absolutely bored to tears while you were helping Perel with his research until you did it to spite Shia. Yeah. If I'm remembering correctly. Yeah.

You do remember the drawings because the artwork. Yeah. Depicting these paintings was more interesting to you, mostly because they looked like fun animals, rabbits, birds, that kind of thing. And you see basically what looks to be animals chasing one another, flaking off the walls now due to age, but painted what seems to be over the carvings that the giants left.

So there's like, you know, in like a children's hospital when they have that wallpaper that has the fun strips that go along the wall. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It looks like that. Like there's a strip of animals running that goes all the way down the left-hand wall of the chamber that you've entered and then carries along to the end. Are there McCollin animals? What kind of animals? From all over? From all over. There are McCollin animals. You see like jackals, coyotes, eagles. Sandworm? Sandworms.

Those horrible sand sharks. You see one of those. Ugh. But then you also see whales. Whales. Polar bears. Deer. Like animals from all over the world. And I call Bing over because I want him to see the animals. Oh, that's really, really cool.

And as you're looking at these paintings, you hear from the corridor, these individuals have some sort of religious significance as Perel comes out of the corridor, jumps around, does a 180 once he gets out of the hallway, faces the chamber, and then does a somersault. Oh my god. Oh shit. Cool. Yep. And he stays on like a one knee up, one knee down hand on the ground, picks up the grit of sand that's fallen from the ceiling and drops it in front of him. There could be traps anywhere.

We could be in danger. When he turns around, you can see there's a streak of fluorescence all the way down his back. And everybody's just like. He's got the goo on him. He's very excited. So he's doing the Dirk Adventureman voice. He's doing the Dirk Adventureman voice a little bit, but he tries to drop out of it because he's like, where are we? Bing, you haven't spout lord or anything. Do you want to? Oh yeah. There was a mosaic on the ceiling that you wanted to. Great. I'll use my history.

Yes. I can use my wisdom. Definitely applies. Sage. Sage history. Oh, growl. Wow. I got four totally. Whoa. You know what it is? I realized that like there's imagery of the process that he went through that's sacrificing. Like it's a little. Too close to that ritual. He's a little bit like he's like, we have to be careful. There's strong magic. Like he knows like what the dark church is capable of. So he's a little freaked out. And this was the ritual you did to get rid of your.

Sacrifice my shape shift. Okay. Okay. Yeah. The mosaic above you. You can't make out all of the exact details because it's been marred by the worm come in some places and fallen down in some others. But it appears. It appears to be a singular. Image. Of a giant that you would assume has some great importance to this culture. Oh, yeah. Can we see just like what the giant looks like? I think though. Unfortunately, the damage to the mosaic means that you just see that it is definitely a giant.

And it's basically like. See remnants of guilt around its head. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Guilt. Okay. Got a real Norse vibe. It's starting to come through. Yeah. Norse Byzantine. Yeah. Yeah. But the Byzantine Empire and ancient Egypt are like a great way to think about what the giant culture looked like. Oh. Yeah. A lot of skirts. Men wearing skirts. Yeah. A lot of flowing fabrics and like heavy mantles. That kind of shit. Yeah.

So you find this like follow the white line to get to administration painting of animals that are carrying along one wall. Oh. And you see the glowing blue footprints aren't following this. Oh. But the blue footprints go right through the middle of the room. Arc a little bit around a couple of the statues like they were taking a closer look at them and ends at an actual staircase that is about the same height and width as the corridor that you entered and goes down at a pretty steep angle.

And the footprints go down there? Yeah. Or do they stop? No. The footprints go to the top of the staircase and then whatever goo was on there seems to have wiped off. Yeah. Fuck. But yeah, the staircase goes down steeply and the steps are fucking enormous. Dang. Like six feet long at least maybe. And also keep in mind this is like this seems to be a ceremonial kind of place and ceremonial places always seem to have really long steps. You know what I mean? Like courthouses and museums. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. And also almost bursts into tears because he's like, I just can't. Oh, they're really high too. Yeah. They'd be like. Yeah. This is like everything is like a cliff drop for me. Yeah. Totally. I see Billy's trepidation at the edge of the stairs and I scoop him up and I put him in my beer. Thank you. Do you carry down the staircase? Let's do it. Yes. I say yes. Should we trap expert or anything or is it or do we need to do anything? I don't want to. Okay. You don't want to?

Because I'm bored. I just want to get to this guy that's walking in, but we probably should. Maybe Bill is by like and tucked his barrel. That'd be funny if Bill is like, hold on. You're like. I'm the boss now. Yeah. You're in my beard now, kid. And then I just do a parkour jump down three steps. Really? Yeah. 2d6 plus strength. Six plus. I got nine. I want to aid. Okay. Yeah. What does an aid look like? He just yells parkour. Sick. Yeah. I got 11. My God. Holy shit. What an aid.

So while tuck is jumping, he goes, yeah, parkour. Yeah. Hey, bro. Check this out. Do it, buddy. While tuck is jumping, he goes, hardcore parkour. Pro goes, no, don't. And you jump the first two steps cleanly. And then as you're coming down on the third, you see. Billy, you notice. Yeah. That the step is a slightly different color than the steps behind it. Oh, no. And tuck, you put your feet out further and you just catch your heels on the very edge. They just scrape this third step.

And the way that you land, you just tip all the way forward and slam down on your face. Wow. That means I am crushed. Yeah. No. Billy. No, you're holding onto the beard. So the beard starts flapping behind him because of the momentum. Okay. So you merely get whipped into the ground like a tether ball. Thanks for that, tuck. I feel great. Hey, this is how Dirk Adventureman does it. And this is how tuck adventure boy does it. Adventure boy. The boy adventure Tacoma Dome.

But getting up, Billy, you go back to that discolored step and you realize, yeah, that was going to set off a trap if tuck touched it. But did it? No. Because of his. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Unmitigated success with defy danger strength. He was able to avoid it, but that's definitely a trap. So there are definitely traps here. Keep your eyes open. I admonish tuck.

And I say, look where you're going. You little jerk could have killed us all. And then I do trap. Yeah. Nice. Just pet like stomps away. Yeah. Eight. Okay. So you get one question. Okay. And. And. And then Perel, after seeing Billy go, there's a trap here, tucks a dummy, just hops over and being, you can easily. I throw my spear down with the rope attached and then create a little zip line. Nice. Nice. What does the trap do when activated? Okay. Yeah.

So you find another discolored step, like six steps below that one. This is a big staircase going straight down. It's taking you quite deep under the desert. You look around to see kind of what. It might activate. And you see gaps in the stonework that most people wouldn't be able to perceive, but you're familiar with looking for traps. And you realize that if you were to step on this huge stone blocks on either side of the corridor would smash together in the middle. Jesus. Ugh. I show tuck.

I'm like, look at this tuck. Not even you could withstand these bad boys. I don't know. Stone is kind of my bitch though. No, not these ones. Like. Ugh. Respect. Respect the architecture. Tuck. Respect the trap. I love the idea that Billy's like, even you couldn't do this. It tucks like, well, I'm setting this trap up. Watch this. Watch this kiddo. And then he's just crushed to death in front of everybody.

Canadian dad version of that is like when you've got a skidoo revving at the edge of a frozen lake. A little kid's like, I don't know. It's April. This seems like not a good idea. Yeah. He's like, no, I can make it across the lake. Watch out. Watch it. Little kid. But if something goes wrong, go get your mom. Okay. Immediately into the lake. Get mom. Get mom. My mom. Call my mom. Tell her I'm sorry. But yeah, Billy points out a couple more steps on the way down.

That would be much easier for a giant to avoid, but take a little bit of doing from all of you. But because you're aware of them, I'm not going to make you. You roll for each one and you get to the bottom of the staircase and enter another chamber. That's a little bit narrower than the statue hall that you were in. It's only about 40 to 50 feet tall in here. There are walls running floor to ceiling through the corridor itself. It goes another hundred feet on each side.

It's it looks like a library basically. Oh, with really, really wide shelves. And on each side of each shelf are carven alcoves that contain 35 foot long stone caskets. And the lid of each casket inside of this alcove has the depiction of a giant on the lid. So there's shelves across the walls basically with their shelves running all the way through like it's it's layers and layers of shelves. You think there's probably eight different shelves. So like.

I think there's probably like 16 rows of caskets. Oh, you're getting a real crypt vibe from this place. Mausoleum. Well, let's get the fuck out of here as quickly as we can. Where's the doorway? Are there other are there multiple doorways or is there just one way out? Yeah, there are multiple doorways. You see one right across from you when you come in. Are you looking around at all? Are you just like doorway right across? Yeah, we look around just to see what the room looks like. Yeah.

I really want to peek in one of these. Like mummy sarcophagus coffins. Well, do I have good news for you, Billy? Slash bad news for you, Billy. A good number of the caskets seem smashed open. Yikes. And some of them are straight up missing their skeletons. Oh, and that's all I'm going to tell you unless you roll. But you do find doors on both the left and right sides of the room. You want to roll? Yeah, I'll discern realities on these. How long ago they were smashed. He's trapped. Uh, yeah.

That's right. 2d6 plus wisdom. Ooh. Ah, eight. All right. You get one question. What happened here recently? So you travel the entire like breadth of this room. 100 feet on one side, 100 feet on the other side, 200 feet to the end. Much like the chamber at the end. So is there books on these shelves? Are there books? Nope. Just all caskets. 100% caskets. And you find some missing skeletons. Some of the skeletons are just missing. Pieces. Is there a consistency to which pieces are missing?

No, totally random. Hmm. But you do get the idea that something has been coming in here and smashing open the caskets to get at what's inside. And because of the missing chunks, you wonder if the thing that it wanted to get to was the skeletons themselves. Ew. Does anything eat obsidian? Bing, can you talk to the stone? Do you have any bones to fucking ask? Ooh. Yeah. I mean, I guess I could check in with the stone or the air. I'll check in with maybe the stone sarcophagi. Yeah, maybe.

Billy, something that you noticed, just real quick. Your I love stuff sense starts going off as you're following Bing around. There are objects entombed in the sarcophagi with a lot of these skeletons. And they seem to have been left alone for the most part. Like what kind of stuff? So I'm like peeking. No, like over the edge of one of the coffins that's been smashed open.

The stuff that's in the tomb seems to be the more unique aspect of each burial because like it's all really beautifully made or very sturdily made items. But there's like knives. Some of them are wearing armor. Some of them are wearing jewelry. It's just like a bunch of valuables. It looks like. I feel like a boo in. Aladdin when they're in the chamber of secrets or whatever they're in. Tuck goes, don't touch anything. And then I'm coming up to the genie lamp.

It's the big monkey holding the red gem. Yeah. And Tuck is actually he would have a very similar instinct in most mausoleums to like him. Like Billy likes to just fucking grab shit. Yeah. For survival. Or yeah. Or just no reason. Or like a general greed. Or just a thing. Or just a thing. Or just a thing to do. But there's like superstitions in McCall about the giants because they were totally exterminated by the god of the flame where it's like they're unlucky. Like don't touch their shit.

So it's like he just kind of just doesn't want to touch anything in here. Yeah. Makes sense. That's why I was like Billy don't touch anything or else a giant will haunt you. Oh. Okay. I recoil from the thing. Yeah. Perel also recoils from the thing. Yeah. He's been sticking his head in every smash casket he can find. Okay. So yeah. You wanted to talk to the stone. Yeah. I guess I like to talk to the air in the chamber. Hey. What's the vibe in here? It's pretty relaxed. What are you doing here?

I mean adventuring I guess. But also we're trying to find somebody. Have you seen anybody come by recently? Recently like? Like most recently. Oh yeah. Sure. Yeah. Totally. Like what's the most recent person came here other than this group of particular people? Oh other than this group. Okay. I was going to give you a real like sly answer. Well I was like well I guess a couple seconds ago. You know what I mean? But you still gave me that answer. Thank you.

I still wanted to say it because I didn't want to just not use that line that I came up with. I guess you don't get very much opportunity to talk to others. No not really. Thank you very much for doing so. Right now with me. The voice carries away like the like this. Whoever you're speaking to whatever you're speaking to is floating around the room. I'll walk. I'll jog beside it. We're just watching big lightly jog doing this. Yeah. Thanks for following.

I'm trying to get my I'm trying to get my oh my God. My sweep my swoops. I'm trying to get my my drafts in. Get my drafts in. Yeah. Trying to get my drafts in. Thanks for coming. No problem. Yeah. So. I've had it was pretty quiet here for a while. Well relatively I suppose. But somebody did come through here a little bit ago. Really. What they look like. I don't really have eyes for perceiving. But what they smell like. Oh they smelled like pretty good. How so.

Like you know when you get real deep down in the earth and things it's just like it's just nice and warm. We're back to this. No this is air. It's like you know some of the. Deeper caverns where it's like warm and earthy. Oh yeah. Yeah. It smelled they smelled like that. It was nice. Real nice. Hmm. Do you know where we could find. How would I ask air where the altar of the dark church is. What would air know about the altar of like how did it. Well it would air in there.

What do we know about the dark church because he has read the books and he was there. They burn desert sage in their rituals. Oh. Hmm. Okay. Sage been burned. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Um air would tell you that no no sage has been burned in these halls in a long time. Hmm. Not within any halls that have been formed by the hand of mortals. Oh. Nearby. But far. But near. Just tell us what fucking direction to go. I am wind.

You can't just ask the air in a room for the exact location of this thing you're trying to find. Fair air. Fair. Just love the idea that any time that you there's like any sort of mystery to a situation being just picks up a hand of dirt and is like where is it. No it's so cheap. Arrogates it. You tell me. You tell me right now you dirt. Cloud. Which way. Yeah.

But you know at least that you're on the right track and that you know what the person smelled like and you know that the the altar is connected to a passage that was not formed by the hands of mortals. Yeah. And it might be closed up somewhere. And tuck is like okay here let's do good cop bad cop. I'll be back up and they starts like shadow boxing in the air. You like this air. Tell me more specific details. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. You can tell because boy adventureman is here. Hey you think this is bad. Wait till I let him off the chain and then tuck farts a little bit. Whoa. And I ate that fucking weird shepherd's pie. It's coming back and it was kind of a wet fart. I'm getting. Yeah. No. While tuck is punching around you can tell air is just like whoop whoop just like curling around the room totally unperturbed. Did I get it. Anyways, I've got more swoops to get in, so see ya. Blows away.

Surprising to get offended at the fart. That's just more air, baby. More for me to work with. Okay, it says we're on the right track. Somebody has been around here recently, and they smelled like something deep and old and warm. Super earthy. Coorish. What? A dwarf? Oh. Interesting hypothesis. Can dwarves be druids? I mean, I think anybody can be a druid. It's religion. Whether or not they can shapeshift. They have to be a half-elf. Yeah. I don't know.

Which one of these dwarves should we go through? That's a great question. There's multiples? Yep. Can we, like… Discern reality, I guess? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, that'd be a smart move. Okay. Can we do something just as an experiment? Sure. Cool. It's gonna involve a little bit of rolling. Okay. But I just want to see what happens. Okay. Okay. So there is a move in the Perilous Wilds, a dungeon move called See What They Find. Ooh. So it would involve rolling a D12. Oh. Ooh. New dice. Fun.

What's this? That one? That one? This one? Yeah. Yeah, it's that one. This one? Yeah. Whoa. Cool. Let's all pick one. Everyone say their numbers. Five. Seven. Two. Which one do you like? I like five. I like seven more. Yeah, seven's lucky. Lucky seven. Five and two. Number seven. Seven. Yes. Yeah. Five and two sum to seven. Yes. Good to be. Seven. Oh. Ooh. Oh, this is perfect. Awesome. I'm not gonna tell you what that is. Oh. This is fun. Yeah, I like that. It's like gambling. It kind of…

Cool. Finally. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I've been trying to start gambling for the last two weeks and no one will gamble with me. We gambled the egg money. So we owe you egg money. Yeah. That's true. You owe me egg money. You owe me egg money. You owe him egg money. Yeah. I just love going around going, hey guys, you owe me egg money. You guys didn't believe it that I could swallow that whole egg without it breaking. And the doctor said it didn't break when he took it out. The doctor. Okay.

So you start creeping very quietly forward. This is a long corridor. This one's probably about 100, 150 feet. And just go straight on. Maybe a slight decline. So it's going down a little bit. We're deep. We're far in. Yeah. The light in the ceiling from the worm goo starts to get a little bit lighter in this direction. So it's not quite as bright as it once was. And you hear breathing. What? Yeah. Yeah. What's it smell like? Okay. Ving, you would recognize an animal smell. Oh.

It smells like a like a den. Tuck throws his light crystal forward to shed some light on what's down there. You throw your light crystal into this room. Yeah. Not the sunstone. The light crystal that we stole from the fucking council building. Okay. Those words a lot. I could have sent the willow. No, you already threw it. Fuck. I'm going to say. I defy danger dexterity just for like luck functionally. Lord of flame, please protect me from the taint of giants. Wow. That worked. I got a nine.

Okay. So you throw it forward and the way that you throw it with this like declining floor, it doesn't like clack when it hits the ground. It just skids and you illuminate. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, wide chamber. And it looks like there was at one time a series of like stone benches in here, but they've been crushed since then. And then you see what looks like chunks of obsidian on the ground.

And then it skids to a halt and you see plates of obsidian and they're moving up and down in and out as something draws breath. This thing's been eating the giant bones. Is it a zombie or a golem? Or I think it might be a drag. Cause you're dragging cause they eat stone and then it turns into their shell or whatever. Such a good idea. I hope it's a dragon. Just gets so excited.

You hear like, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Do we need to get around? That's a great question. You actually don't know. You can't see all of the chamber, so you don't know if where you need to go is past this or not. Is there room to get around it? Again, the lights from the worm goo are not illuminating the entire chamber, and basically your light crystal got to the very edge of whatever this thing is.

Discern realities? Yeah, discern realities would be great. 2d6 plus wisdom. Oh, I got a minus one, so I got six. Oh, yeah. I was going to ask if I could send my willow the wisp. Yeah, absolutely. What does the willow look like? It's still the cat. Oh, nice. So it's this little cat padding forward. Cute. A little paw prints, but they fade as it walks. Yeah. And we'll say that this counts as aiding. Yeah. Cool. Eight. Okay, great. Got a seven. So one question from discern realities. Oh, yeah.

Is this a dragon? And if so, what activates it? Here's not what it appears to be. The plates of obsidian appear to be scales. It's fucking dragon, boys. It's got to be a dragon. It's got to be a dragon. If it's a dragon, if you guys are thinking about this, it looks very different from cerulean depths. Even the scales. Cerulean depths had these very beautiful, shiny, slick, mother of pearl scales. But this thing almost has like armored plates in place of that. Oh, weird. Looks very tough. Yeah.

And something else that you notice is it is also significant, like orders of magnitude smaller than cerulean depths. Baby dragon. If that's what it is. You have to get maybe, I got to get closer. Get closer. We'll follow the willow, the wisp. Okay. I want to see. 2d6 plus dexterity, Billy. If you want to sneak. Yeah. Do it. Sneak, sneak, sneak. Sneak, Billy, sneak. Sneak. Fuck. Okay. No, it's fine. Eight. Eight. Okay. You start moving forward behind your light cat and enter this chamber.

Now that you're in the chamber, you hear the like. And on the out breaths, the temperature of the room arises. So warm. Oh, God. But you see now these like chunks of obsidian on the ground. And now. Now that you're at the edge of it, you get a better idea of the size of this thing. And it's curled up and it basically fills that room. And then it's about halfway to the ceiling in terms of height. So what would you say? 15 by nine. Yeah. 15 by nine. And then like five and a half feet tall. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So you don't know, like you see a tail that's a little bit stubbier than cerulean depths was. You do see it has wings. But they're so small, like they don't look like it could hold up this thing's bulk in the slightest. Oh. But yeah. So it's big. It's probably 40 feet long when it's uncurled. But that's pretty. That's tiny for a dragon as far as you're concerned. So cute. Baby dragon. It's stocky. It's a little fat dragon over there. It's stocky. Okay. He's not fat.

Look at this chubby little dragon, the baby boy. Billy likes him. He likes him immediately because he's also fat. Yeah. But you realize like as you start getting closer and your light cat gets closer, the breathing hitches up a little bit. And if you get any closer, you're going to wake this thing up. Okay. I, I, I, the light cat. Okay. And it pads back over to you. I pick it up and I turn it back into a little ball. Yeah. And do you go back to your. No, I just stand there. Ooh.

I look, I motion for you guys to come over. Yeah. We're going to try and come by. We sneak up. We sneak up. We sneak up as quietly as we can. Right. To fight injured dexterity. And Billy melts. Dragon. And then we go, oh my God, it's a fucking dragon. And then we start sneaking really quickly because we can't see this thing. Great. So I got seven. Okay. Nine. Okay. Perel's still there. Yeah. He's behind us. Perel's like behind all of you, like peeking around.

And he's taken his Dirk Adventureman hat off. And he's like, all right, I'm pretty scared now. It's a dragon.

It's a fucking it's a dragon it's a fucking dragon and tuck takes the hat and he puts it on he goes leave this to the boy adventurman you fucking nerd uh yeah and he takes the whip he had a whip this whole time yeah no dirk it what dirk adventurman doesn't use a whip he uses something else uh what a lasso he takes the lap he takes the lasso that perel had and he drapes it over his shoulder all right he feels cool he looks cool what like what is your guys's goal are you trying to get around it are you I want to talk to the dragon you yeah you could for sure something to consider you are in a very tight space with a very powerful animal um can I use fairy chow I'd like to charm an individual has another another day's passed since fairy child so you get to roll that yeah so 2d6 plus charisma how many holds dragons as we've established to our sentient they have yes plus charisma I got 12 so that means I get five five holds oh holy shit we're gonna need that for this dungeon yeah I would like to charm this individual okay so what does billy do like what does it look like when billy does this to the dragon um um I would like to pet his snout whoa he looks basically like uh like toothless from yeah a train of dragons that's what I was imagining a little cat face yeah little baby snout yeah I pet his snout okay um yeah as you're getting closer like breath is huffing out of its nose when he breathes out and you it's just warm it's like standing in front of a blast furnace you touch the snout and whatever fairy influence seeps into this thing you get the idea that it is working it's but you feel like it's like slippery almost while you're trying to do it so you're like I hope this lasts a long time but it might not wait are are dragons impervious to magic is that what you're saying it's slippery I'm not saying anything except that it feels like it takes more effort for billy to reach this dragon um and then you get a dragon and then you get a dragon and then you reach this thing's mind.

Huh. Yeah. That's interesting because that would mean your scale might be a shield against magic. I like that. You're extrapolating a lot of details from a throwaway sentence. But, okay. So it works. It will give you a moment but it's about to wake up and a lot of stuff is going to happen all at the same time. Like, Billy, you put your hand on its snout and you're like rubbing its face being like, hey, we're just, we want to talk.

We're here to just hang out and the breathing stops for a second and its eyes shoot open right in front of your face and it, you know, it's like big pupils and then it narrows in on Billy and it leaps to its feet and starts thrashing. You're able to jump back out of the way, Billy, but now it's like filling one half of this whole chamber and it's snarling at you. It makes like a roaring noise. Its tail whips out.

At the very end, it's got a collection of obsidian-like spikes, basically, and it smashes one of the remains of one of the benches that's in here and it slams into a wall and takes a huge chunk out of it and it flares its little wings and its plates all stick up in the front and it's just roaring at you. It's so loud. I'm going to bow to it. Tuck takes Billy's cue and he also bows. Okay. And it's like, grrrr, grrrr, grrrr, grrrr, grrrr. We're friends. Friend.

And when Ving speaks to it, you speak in a way that it can understand. Yeah. And it's like this growling and then it's like, what are you guys doing in my room? What are you doing here? Get out of here. Get out of here right now or I swear I'm going to smash you so good. We don't doubt that. You're so strong, beautiful, dark one. Wow. What amazing rock formations you make.

You can see his tail whipping a lot and you can tell now that this is definitely a male dragon and you can see his tail whipping back and forth above his head like a scorpion. You could tell that this is a male dragon. Yeah, because you could, I don't, but you can see his balls. I don't know. What do you want? Identify with these balls. Ving's experience with animals, you can see that there's a little bit of sexual dimorphism in whatever kind of dragon this is. Oh, is there ever?

He's like, what are you doing here? Get out. This is my place. Stay away from my stash, bro. We're just trying to find the dark church. We don't want nothing but respect for you here. Smash. I don't know what you're talking about, but you need to get out of here and get away from my stash or I'm going to chomp you. Good, bro. We don't want your stash. We even brought, see, hey, look, he starts patting like, what do we, he wants something. We got to offer him something. I have a diamond.

I want to offer him a beautiful diamond. I have this, diamond from far away from a land forever gone away over the sea across the world. You can see his nostrils flare as he tries to smell and he goes, what is that? A diamond, a rock harder than even your scaly strong back. You want me to eat that thing? Oh, you're hungry. Are you hungry, buddy? Not for that. I have a jar of cum. Oh, in that case, hand it over. Yeah, he's not interested in the diamond at all.

Oh, could I switch that diamond for something or like, can I switcheroo it? Yeah, you totally could. Oh, yeah, switcheroo. For what? For obsidian or the obsidian instead. Yeah. Make it an obsidian diamond. Yeah. Ooh, black diamond. Oh, I don't know what it's saying, but I'm like, oh, great one. Big boy of this cave, let me offer you something more delectable. Oh, okay, so 12. Okay. Oh, it's such a juice. Turns into an even plumper black obsidian cut gem. Ooh.

And going forward for conversation purposes, we'll assume that Ving is translating. Okay. So we don't have to be like, you don't know what he's saying, like that kind of shit. And it's eyes, pupils dilate when he sees like the big fat obsidian cut gem and he's like, what? You hungry? You hungry? You hungry? I mean, I get like, I guess just take a bite, whatever. Just just throw it over here. Ting ting ting. Oh, man. The second it touches the ground, it's huge. Stumpy smell. It just goes.

What do you think? Yeah, I was fine. So what are you guys doing here in my room? Can we parlay with him? Yeah, I should hope so or I'm going to fucking smash you, bro. Okay.

Take steps forward and he's like, like all right yeah cute you chubsy I because I don't really know the vibe vick is translating but I'm not really getting tone yeah totally so I don't I think it's a baby still so I'm like oh oh you cute little chubby wubsy whoa why did I say that hey look man we're just trying we're we could see that you're a little uh you're a rock and roll dude we're rock and roll dudes too you like obsidian we like churches of the black flame uh we're just trying to get past you trying to find the room that smells like desert sage burning 11 okay so he settles down he drops his wings a little bit and they're so small like they're such tiny little wings but the thing that's really fucking intimidating about him is the overlapping plates of obsidian you imagine like a gorilla like really big long arms and then shorter stubbier legs okay so it stands taller like yeah like chest wise it still stands on its like on its paws on the pads of its feet but it's it's kind of tilted he's hunched down right now and the overlapping plates of obsidian on his body are thicker on the front and he flips them up so like he's basically creating this like obsidian wall that his head is in the center of oh like a dilophosaurus yeah kind of if their little frill thing was on their the entire front of their body what's his name what is your name well you mean like that long like the long names the dragons have yes yeah he he makes a noise and um the meaning that you get from this noise because you know he's not saying like words or whatever is uh from knights embrace a black spire rises oh fuck whoa so cool but you could just call me a black spire and I'd be like oh my god I'm so cool black spire black my friends call me black spire I'll just call you black don't all right call me spire if you're gonna call me anything yeah but he goes like you can call he goes by black spire okay black spire have you ever met one cerulean of the depths great unknown okay so I'm a dragon I should know all dragons that's what you're that's what you think I don't know yeah don't do that don't do that he has no fucking idea who you're talking about really they're so there's that many dragons well one lives in the ocean and this guy lives in a cave underground no but yeah he's like I am unfamiliar with one such as the one that you say but what are you doing here what do you need we're trying to find the altar of the dark church it's all dark in here what do you like we're we're we're we're ancient ones used to congregate burn the sage uh I am perhaps not as long lived as you would expect so I may not have been here for that but I'm familiar with the gross smelling room of which you speak take us to the gross smelling room please what is in it for me I get the hint I'm like I can make more of the diamonds oh okay well I mean I guess they were pretty good and if you wanted to make more I would eat them for sure but and I would in fact love to but I don't really care that much but I do a lot care the this the I imagine they taste like cheese puffs like cheetos basically like they taste so good but they're gone so fast and you're like I need a thousand of these and I I would allow you don't have to keep rolling switcheroo I don't think I I'm comfortable because you got also an unmitigated success on that right yeah yeah so I think that you don't have a shit ton of diamonds but I think billy can keep like I um like there's all this rubble around us I just start like touching the benches and I'm like perhaps I could create a feast for you oh big boy and once you touch like one of the benches and it turns to obsidian he's like that's all it is it's a face that I made with my mouth agape and my eyes wide open so hungry and you can see his stubby little tongue hang out of his mouth for a second cute and then he's like okay yeah I'll take you just keep doing that okay okay let's go let's go he's just walking with his hands out stretch turning everything into cheetos and walking down the hallway and uh he shoulders past you he's just like out of the way nerd I love this guy he's he's tuck's vibe tuck wants to be best friends with him also he's got the most metal name tuck has ever heard what did I say his name was from knights embrace a black spire rises yeah yeah so beautiful fucking so cool so cool thanks do you want to be my best friend he's very metal and he moves past you and once he gets past you you're like yeah he's pretty big but then you're also like he's pretty small and ving you know enough about animals that you're like well he doesn't have any competition for his food and he's in a very small space so it probably made sense for his body to be like from an like biology standpoint to not get too big because he doesn't really have to fight anybody and if he got too big he wouldn't be able to fucking move so he's just stayed kind of small when we see him from the back it kind of he kind of has the proportions of like a cow he trundles a bit yeah oh yeah he's like walking is very like exactly like a bulldog yeah yeah he's shaped like a bulldog like a british bulldog big huge shoulders tiny little legs oh really proud front and like like goofy little party at the back yeah yeah his plates get smaller and less frequent the further back on his body they go until it gets to this like tail that's got a real thick bottom and then it goes for like a couple meters and then ends with this cluster of like heavy obsidian spikes how old do you think he is ving he actually tells you this okay so he's walking with you and as you're walking back into the crypt room he's like yeah this place is pretty sweet I kind of got everything to myself uh it's kind of like my pad smash he smashes open a casket shoves his head into it and he just you're like oh that makes sense now yeah the vibe is this kid is a kind of like a 13 year old latchkey kid showing you his stepdad's head totally well I got this thing to myself no one really around ever oh my god and he's just like you know when I was small like when I was a little kid I was like well playing uh you know I just hung out with this guy and we like traveled around he fed me rocks and stuff it was pretty sick and then uh something happened I don't really remember it was pretty scary and I ran away and uh wonderful while I was pretty hungry and I like sniffed out I was like what is that delectable aroma you know what I mean and I found this big doorway and I came in here and then there was all this delicious shit everywhere and I was chomping I was hanging out chomping hanging out chomping you know how it is and uh then there was like a rumble of some kind I don't know and then when I tried to leave I couldn't the door was all blocked so I just thought I'd you know kick it in here just veg out just just veg out just vibe you know just vibing I'm just literally vibing and uh yeah I've just kind of been in here ever since you know just chomping and vibing so do you remember this man that uh you used to like fill out with all the time oh yeah he was like huge like fucking huge oh okay uh and he would like go places with stuff give people that stuff they'd give him other stuff I was one of that stuff and uh you know just kind of then we just kind of vibed out together it was pretty nice for a while so he actually he he knew a giant he was also very small when he was born so he's like millennia oh no no what I'm saying is that you have no fucking idea because what you know about dragons is they're small they're born from very reasonably sized eggs and then they just grow okay yeah I actually think the eggs that we were sent by the fine people at fantasy by numbers I actually think dragon eggs are about that size yeah and they come out as tiny little like salamanders and then based on their environment they can get enormous wow so it could just be a or something and he's probably he's at least like four or five hundred years old maybe six yeah because he's been here since before the door collapsed yeah is that why he has the obsidian that's why he's an obsidian like is that why cerulea of the depths like she's of the pearl yeah like uh cerulean depths was a sea dragon like a mother of pearl abalone sea dragon and yeah black spire is an obsidian dragon cool yeah um do you remember that dude's name oh no you're all your names of like are so confusing to me I don't even understand how your little fucking throats work just kind of like and he did this is he's making the like but then he uh when he's saying to ving I don't even understand how your throats work your voices sound like and then he goes like vaguely human you all hear that it's like yeah it's like when a dog says I love you yeah um um I don't get it.

Anyways, let's go. Yeah, he takes you through the crypt. And you notice that some spots of it, like the shelves have been smashed over. And he's following a very specific path. So he's like had to knock out parts of the room so he could get around over time. And you pass through one room that looks like it has a bunch of smashed furniture again. Worm goo all over the ceilings. And he actually looks like he gets near some worm goo on the wall and goes like. And walks past it.

He's like, hold up, everybody. This next part is pretty gnarly. And takes you down a long hundred foot corridor. And it opens up into a chamber that feels cavernous to you. And you hear running water. And the brightness from the worm goo becomes. Like a subterranean day. Whoa. Wow. It's so bright in here. It's like 200 feet long on either side. Like 500 feet to the end. And just absolute wall to wall worms. Whoa. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. In this room of worm goo.

Oh my God. I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Ving the Half-Elf. Druid Paul Oppers. Gross. Bye. Playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz. Oh my God. It's in my shoes. How did that happen? And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai. Bye. Thanks to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. And thanks to you, our incredible susporters, for susporting the show. You can find us online at spoutlore most places, including patreon.com slash spoutlore.

You can join our discord. A link to that is in the show notes. And if you feel so inclined, shoot us a review on iTunes. They are. They are really helpful. And we really love hearing what people think about the show. Thanks a lot. Catch you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly spout more

Spout Lore is only made possible through the contributions of listeners like you. If you would like to donate, please go to Spout Lore dot com slash money, please, or patreon dot com slash Spout Lore. And if you go there, you'll get a bunch of bonus content, too, which is nice. It's good bonus content. I work really fucking hard on it. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old.

You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in braggart. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts.

So gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Welcome to Spout Lore, everybody. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hey! Playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello! Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello!

When last we left our heroes, they had been spending an extended stay at the Margani Library, getting up to a variety of hijinks, such as illegal bedding, uh, eating, and another thing. Billy had been helping Perel study the Dark Guard, and also potential methods for regaining his magic, which remains Perel's primary motivation. You know, he's getting used to not having it, he is still not psyched about the whole situation, so he's trying his best.

And Ving had been learning some martial arts techniques from the Speakers of the Silent Word. Also, he has a crush on one of those martial artists. Oh, this is being newly introduced? Cool! Yeah. Which one? Quenelle. Alright. Nice! Let me just go ahead and find somewhere to write that down. Quenelle? And in between training sessions, had become engrossed in a series, of pulp novels called Bringers of the Black Flame by Crosby Deanhaber.

And, uh, in reading these books, found a similarity between a ritual described in this pulp novel, with the ritual that Ving undertook to give up his shapeshifting ability, for a greater connection to the elemental planes of existence.

And through a combination of Ving's leisure reading and Perel and Billy's research, Perel was able to determine that a location referenced in the story, Sand Eater Canyon, is a real place that may or may not, he believes, have some sort of entrance to an ancient giant ruin, which itself is home, potentially, according to the stories, to a church of a primordial religion that may have a connection to the Dark Guard. Cool.

And Perel begged, pleaded, absolutely demanded that you join him in an adventure to these ruins. And that is where we find ourselves now. How is everybody prepared for this? How's everybody feeling about it? Uh, Billy is fine with it now. He's made peace with it. He's made peace with it. So he's gotten all of his, like, I don't know, his clothes and bags and stuff. And he stashed away as many bottles of water as he can fit. Um, so he's really jingly, making a lot of jangly sounds.

Is he bringing like sunscreen or like big hats or something? Definitely sunscreen. Um, the, like, a nice librarian gave him some SPF a hundred. It's just paint. It's just a paste. Billy, you should pick a different color. This is problematic for a few reasons. They only had one kind. What? Does it not look good? It's just, does it clash with my hair? It's a little too brown. Oh no. Oh no. At least put it everywhere. All right. So, Billy, he takes the sunscreen off his back.

I can't, I can't take it with me. It doesn't suit me. And other reasons. I'm unfamiliar with as a child. Uh, how's Tuck feeling? Oh, about this? Pretty stoked that he doesn't have to be in the library anymore. Right? Yeah. Tuck mostly convinced, uh, Ving and Billy to agree because he's bored. Yes. He is so amped. To get out. And the preparation that he did, that would have been a good idea. I think. To do it. Yeah. To prepare. Yeah. So he's basically just showing up with his ax in his backpack.

Like, let's go. Yeah. His little backpack and his ax. How about Ving? Uh, he's fashioned a hydration pack. It's like a skin sack that he wears on his back. The tube to his mouth. Get a little camel back. Made it out of a camel's back. Uh, he just has a centaur hydration pack. He just has a camel hump on his back full of water. And he wants a sip. Come to old Ving. God, Billy's so jealous. Here I am with all my jars. Yeah.

Um, and, uh, brought a bunch of saffron and borrowed a bunch of sunstone on the promise of bringing it back. Cause it's so valuable. But, uh, to use as a flashlight in case we do find some cavey things that we need to get into. Oh, yeah. I have our light crystal too. Cool. Billy just is, um, banking on his confidence that he can definitely see in the dark. Yeah. That is not what I expected you to say.

I thought you meant the, the fact that he can create light whenever he chooses to, but he's banking on his confidence that he'll be able to see in the dark. Having some self talk, some self talk. Great. Pepping himself up. So we have a Billy pep talk. Sure. Yeah. We cut to Billy in his room, uh, just before he goes to meet everybody. He's like, you can do it, Billy. He is, you see fine. You've never needed glasses. Probably. You can see so far. Definitely. And your skin, uh, it's resilient.

I think in the sun, it red goes good with orange. You're always cute. Don't worry about it. We should go. I say to myself, okay, bye mirror. It was nice to have you. And then a little fairy in the mirror goes later, Billy. Bye. Uh, perfect. Okay. So we find the group, including Perel, who has gathered in the only way I can think to describe it is the library is like motor pool where all their sand boats are. Yeah. Which one are we going to take? They have names. Yeah, probably. Okay.

This one is called denouement. Oh, cool. And, uh, it is sturdy. Like all McCall and sand boats. It's like a little hut, low roof. It's going to be tough. You think for a tuck to fit in there comfortably, he might have to lay down. And tuck is like, this one seems really small for me and how big I'm in a bulk phase now. And I've been trying to bulk up to get taller, to get taller, bulking up. And Perel is standing there like, Nope, this is the perfect wall. One slap slap. He slaps the side of it.

A chunk falls off. Let me just put this back. How's Perel dressed? Uh, great question. Perel is wearing a really broad brimmed hat. Yeah. Safari hat. Yeah. And he's got a tan linen shirt on the buttons undone about to like the middle of his chest. It's really bright. You can see nothing but like very pale skin underneath. Uh, but it's rolled up to his elbows. He's got tight leather pants on leather. Yeah. Oh, those are not going to breathe at all. It's not about breathing.

The, see the sheen on the leather reflects the sunlight, keeping it off of my flesh. It's not science. No, no, no. Cows burn. I think I know a little something about science. Thank you very much. Okay, man, we're just trying to help you out. Well, you know what? If I need your help, I'll ask for it. I realize I have asked for it. For your help. Thank you for helping me. And he has a real, just kind of Haversack rough sack over his shoulder full of sundry items.

See, this is the thing is Dirk is always prepared with whatever he needs. I've got candles. I've got things to light candles. I've got replacement wicks. I've got a bag full of wax. I've also got a lantern. I've got Caltrops. I've got a collapsible pole. What's a Caltrop? The Caltrop is, is like a, it's this and he holds it up. It's like, they look like Jack's basically. Right. Jack metal spike jacks. They're good for, um, throwing behind you.

If someone's trying to chase you or for ceiling doorways, did you bring water? I'll be right back. He runs away. And as he runs away, you hear the squeaking of the leather pants, creak, creak, creak, creak. And he comes back and he's got a jug of water and some food. I should, I got food as well. Just going to take a minus one to stealth. I guess. I think I already have that. Also, Billy's kind of dressed like a mommy. Dressed like a mommy.

He's wearing his clothes, but he also got a lot of like linen, like white linen from the librarians wrapped himself. Most of his face. Yeah. So it was just, his eyes are peeking out so he doesn't burn. Yeah. Great. And yet Perel loads everybody up. I'm going to be piloting this baby. Wait, should Ving, he knows how to sail. Do you know how to drive this thing? I read the manuals. Okay. You know what? Uh, I'll, I'll get it out in the open. You take it for a spin. All right, let's go.

He said, he says that and nothing happens. Ving just like slowly saddles in front of them and takes over the controls. And Ving, you take the controls gently from Perel. He slides to the side because you know what? You can get us started. You get us out in desert and then maybe I'll take over. And you slide out of, um, the like false wall of, um, like a tinker shop. Oh, cool. That works as this sort of part of the motor pool. So this wall swings out and your boat slides out. Wow.

And then the wall closes behind you. Yeah. Tuck pushes it out until we get to a place that we can catch wind. Cool. Yeah. Right. I don't know why I think that's cool, but I do. Yeah. It is because you have a, it's like it, we always kind of play it for jokes, but tuck is like super humanly strong. He does the thing. It's kind of like getting a kite going where he like starts running and then jumps on the back and the whole boat just goes like boom, stuck lands on the back of it.

And let's take that to be a perilous journey role. I'm the driver. So you'd be trailblazer. Yep. You want to be quartermaster? I'll be scout. Cool. So 2d six plus wisdom. Okay. Five. Oh, I'm going to be a quartermaster. I'm going to be a scout. I'm going to be a scout. Nine, four. We fucked this up so fucking bad. You stay on track for the most part. That's the one nice thing is Ving keeps things under control more or less. It's just when a Perel's driving and we go, that's the seven to nine.

Yeah. Every once in a while, Perel will be like, well, I guess I'll just take over here. What the fuck are you doing? Billy. Yeah. Why does all your time go to the car? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What the fuck are you doing? Billy. Yeah. Why does all your food disappear? Weird.

I didn't think it was this long a journey, so I thought we could just like have lunch and we'd be there by now. And I was getting hot, so I thought I'd just put some of the water on my clothes to act like a, you know, to evaporate my sweat. You put our drinking water on your clothes, buddy? Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry. I thought like maybe we would, when we get there, there'd be like a water fountain. There's a whole camel worth of water in that camel. I'm sorry.

Um, and Ving, you're just sailing along more or less. Okay. It's taken a little bit to get used to, to sail one of these things. You're used to ice racers and you were used to ice racers 50 plus years ago. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It's been a while. It's not like riding a bike. Yeah, exactly. And, uh, talk, you absolutely miss something super dangerous. And what is that? What tech actually did pick up that book. Uh, I think it was the book.

Cause he was like, Oh, the way Perel described it, it was cool. So he got really into it. Yeah. So he was, instead of like looking anywhere, he was reading the book and he was like, fucking Dirk is just, he just went down like a log flume on top of a log. He served the log all the way down the flume. We go off like a big dude. I told you to look out for dunes. I am looking out for flumes. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle.

It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle. It's a struggle.

Like chunks of rock that are sticking out of the sand and you tilt it just a little too far and the boat tilts over on its side everybody tumbles around on in the inside who can say where the wind blows prel's mug of coffee's flying through the air the hula girl falls off the dashboard of the sand boat and the mast snaps oh no fuck and there's just this yeah huge crash the boat itself seems like it's more or less secure but the mast is fucked fuck and you all pull yourselves out of the wreck yeah tuck was buried in a sand dune because he was up on top his legs are sticking up out of the sand dune you can't see his top half his feet are kicking in the air billy how's billy feeling about getting tumbled around in the inside of the boat he's pissed because all of his like wrappings came undone and he can't put it all back together because the librarian did it for him so he just pulls himself out of this wreck like trailing a bunch of bandages now what am I gonna do and prel climbs up out of the hatch as well falling face first into the sand picking up his hat he puts it on his head and looks around puts his hands on his hips and goes oh yeah I expected this this is all part of the adventure and he starts digging around in his bag and he pulls out his hat and he puts it on his head and he puts it on his head and he pulls out a compass oh cool here we go compass yeah compass is way better than a working ship well I mean can you can we get the boat flipped over oh yeah can we because tuck can just pull the boat can I do that yeah totally uh defy danger strength to get it flipped over okay yeah I'll try and push it over seven seven okay great uh so with much heaving and much grunting you get the boat tipped over and you pull out a compass and you pull out a compass and you pull out a compass and back over onto its skis.

And yeah, it looks like the mast was a pretty rough snap. But it's completely shorn. Yeah, can we wrap up these lines under my body so I can just pull the boat? Yeah, you're our sail now, buddy. Yeah. You can sail. Do I have to roll for anything? See if I'm strong enough to pull it? I think you can do it. You're pretty strong. Okay. But I think what's gonna happen is night is going to fall before you get to where you need to go. Oh, no. Not night in the dirt. Yeah. The Alcoly Desert at night?

Mm-hmm. So you're pulling the boat for another couple hours as the sun starts to dip below the horizon and starts to get pretty cold. And Tuck starts, like, pulling harder because he's like, I want to fucking be caught out here by goddamn horse tribes. Are there horse people out here? Oh, God. Yeah. City people are really scared of them because they don't ever see them. And there's, like, stories of, like, caravans just being, like, fucked up by the horse tribes. Oh, yeah.

So, yeah, the sun goes down and the moon comes up. It's a pretty clear night, so there's a lot of light. But, uh, it seems in the darkness that the sands stretch on forever. Can I use my binoculars to find, like, the landmark, like, the opening to this? Yeah. How does it look? Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, even a place to, like, shelter that's not just straight up out in the open would be a benefit. Uh, yeah, so discern realities. Okay. Uh, ooh. Uh, ten. Okay.

So you get three questions from discern realities. Um. What here is not what it appears to be? So you're peering through your binoculars, looking for any sort of landmark. Mm-hmm. And you see what looks to be an outcropping of stone in the distance, like, kind of rough, jagged-looking stone. And you're like, oh, that could be it. And then the stones dip down into the sand out of sight. Like, they move? Yeah. Like, they're sitting above the sand, and then they shift, and they dive under the sand.

Rock does? Oh, my God. Well, what looked to be rock to Billy? Uh-oh. Billy, you see anything weird? Yeah. Do rocks, do big rocks just move? Do they just go under the sand? Is that normal? And Tuck drops. He's like, which direction was it? Ahead of us? Tuck starts, like, kind of, like, trying to drag the, uh, this. You know how it's, like, you're trying to, it's really hard to fucking move skis off the course, but he's, like, dragging it to a right angle now to try and get away. Oh, no. Oh, no.

What is it? I don't know. Tuck? Tuck is just aware that there's stuff that moves under the sand that you don't want to get caught by. Fuck, I hate this. Okay, so, what here is useful or valuable to me? Um, you see if you look not in the direction that you saw the rocks, like, to you. To your right of where you're standing on the boat, you see what looks to be the shimmer of light in the distance. Okay. And then, what should I be on the lookout for?

Yeah, I think as you keep looking through your binoculars, you see you're scanning back and forth, and every once in a while, you see the sand fall into itself as if something passed underneath it, and it's filling a hole that was left behind. Is it coming towards us? It looks like it's getting closer. And I'm like, Billy, am I pulling in the right direction? Tell me. I don't, I don't know. I'm pulling, which, which way's the light? Which way's the light? To the right. Okay.

Tuck starts, like, dragging the, the sand boat to the right, and he's gonna try and fucking outrun this thing. Yeah, 2d6 plus strength. Fuck, 13. Wow. Okay, yeah. You start fucking moving. Yeah. You feel the whole thing, like, heave up and over. Yeah. And drop down. And everyone on the boat, once Tuck starts pulling, is like, whoa! He's really running. Yeah, before when he was tugging, uh, tugging it before, Ving didn't, he was just, just, like, walking around.

I took a five minute break to tug it, okay? It's fine. I wasn't tugging it while I was pulling the boat. Before when he was jacking us off through the desert, um, Ving was just, like, walking around and, like, checking things, but now that he's running, he has to, like, whoa! He gets back on the stick and he has to, like, drive it like there's an engine. Yeah, totally. You have to, you have to help steer it, cause he's moving so fast. Yeah. Cool.

And, um, you really fucking run, and, uh, you get it to, like, the top of a dune and you realize that if you hop on, you'll be able to skate, like, down this side of this dune, at least. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Um, 2d6 plus dexterity. I rolled a five. Your dexterity is zero? Oh, yeah. Cause you're a big boy. Well, isn't that something? Wow. It does the backflip like… Tuck got over covered by how fast he got the… What if, what if I help? Can I help? You can only give him one. Fuck! Only one? Yeah.

What if, can I use a escape route for everyone? Yes. Please save me. Fuck yeah! That's what Tuck says to Dillo. I think that you still have to mark down the thing, and it's still that, uh, Tuck gets the boat to the top of this dune and tries to jump on it, like, I'm just gonna hop backwards and land on my butt and ride this thing to safety. And instead he hops, he hops and he lands too soon and the thing smashes him in the back and goes right over him.

So now he's on the sand on his face as the boat sails away. But Billy, you see this happening from your vantage. Okay, um, and you're not attached? No, I'm not attached. No. I'm pretty scraped up. But if you do well with the escape route and you tell me what you do, maybe you can save him. Alright, I will try escape route. Plux dexterity is really good. 13. Um, I, uh, thank goodness my mummy costume became unraveled, so I lassoed it. Yeah, Tuck is up and he's starting to run to try and catch.

Grab on! And Tuck grabs the mummy costume. And Ving grabs Billy. Yeah. And he starts just like, whoop, going to the back of the… Start reeling in the linen gauze. Yeah, I just start turning Billy around. Alright, there we go, winding him up. Thank you. Tuck is dragging now because we're going so fast he couldn't keep up. Oh, he's sand skiing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like you're getting dragged on your stomach and you're slowly standing up so you're on your feet sailing down this hill.

Indiana Jones style. This is way better than a library. And Tuck, you like peek behind you and you see this rocky crest like crest the sand before diving back under. Can I Spout Lore about what that is? Yeah, totally. Hell yeah. 56 plus intelligence. Oh, fuck. Six. Because I have zero intelligence. I can aid. Yeah. There is the creatures like this in the books that I like to read. Totally. Yeah. You read about one in the pulp novel. Oh, yeah. And I was reading the pulp novel too. Yeah.

Six plus my bond is seven. Alright, there we go. Seven and seven. So something interesting but not necessarily useful, which means you'll just learn what it is, but not a way to deal with it. Okay. Because you read a pulp novel. It's hard to say if any of that shit's true. Maybe if you do the thing that they do in the book, which is blah, blah, blah. What was the name of the monster that Tuck encountered when he was a kid? It was like it had some sort of grinding mouth. Yeah.

But it had four legs and it was really big and stony. Rock monster? It was. That could just be like the colloquial term that the kids used for them. But there is a fantasy monster called the Bulette, which is basically a land shark. Like they dig through the ground and they're predators that track people via vibrations. Okay. So I think that's the kind of thing that you're dealing with. It's like a solitary predator that lives under the sand.

And tracks people that are traveling over the surface. Yikes. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what this is. Ving goes and starts whittling down and sharpening the mass, the broken mass, making a gigantic spear arrow like ballistic in case we need it. Yeah. Huge harpoon. Yeah. Maybe we can attach it to the front. Sick. The light in the distance that Billy saw. I myself think that it's a tent. Oh. Oh. Okay. It's a tent. Cool. You've gotten closer. It's Vaughn, guys. She's back. Finally.

We can restock on Hot Pockets after all these years. Yeah. You see a big like fabric tent. Not of any sort of gaudy make, like pretty sturdy, but up in the distance on an outcropping like a big table of rock that juts diagonally out of the sand. There's a tent set up on top of it. With a little fire going. Can we use the momentum that we have from skating down the dune to get up to there or do we need?

I mean, if someone were able to, if you're able to figure out a way to keep pushing yourselves along, you could probably get all the way there, but it would take some pretty fancy thinking. Can we abandon? Is it close enough that we can kind of park the ship? Yeah, it'd be like a mad dash to get to the rock, basically. Are we safe once we're at the rock? You would guess that if it travels so freely through the sand that it would have a harder time traveling through rock. Abandon ship! Okay.

Yeah, Perel starts scrambling out of the hatch as well. Follow Klingon to Ving. Okay, yeah, I think Billy's probably safe from, it's gonna matter if Ving gets there. And if Ving gets there, Billy will get there too, probably. Great, yeah. I'm gonna use Light as a Feather to run lightly so it doesn't attract it because I have Billy and I want to keep him safe. Perfect. So, 2d6 plus dex for Light as a Feather? That is 7. Okay, perfect.

I think it's the sort of thing where you start running, Billy's on your back, grasping on, legs kicking out behind, and this beast bursts out of the sand underneath the boat and its huge grinding maw just chomps onto the boat and shreds it from underneath. Fuck, what does it look like under the sand? It's like a cone, almost. The front is really wide and then it tapers back to this really kind of lean craggy body with these segments. Kind of like a leech, almost?

Kind of like a leech, but then four thick, super powerful legs. Whoa! Little weird scales all along the legs that also move to help it move forward. Oh, like cilia? And then maybe its toes are webbed to help it swim? It grinds through the sand underneath and it kicks its legs to move really quickly. Gross. Yeah, so it just destroys the boat and then lands on its huge legs and starts looking around through these tiny, beady little eyes that you see on top of its head. Oh, fuck!

It can run above, too? But you notice that when it tries to move above, it's like really kind of waddly. Like it's just sinking into the sand? Yeah, and it moves like a crocodile. Like it's got these real wide moving legs that mean that it's not super fast above ground. Wow, I hate this thing. Yeah, and it's coming for you. It's coming for you, Tuck. What do you do? Like, Perel, when he saw Billy jump on Bing's back, he jumped on my back, and I'm like, God fucking damn it, man. Go, Tuck, go!

This is not what Dirk Adventureman would do. Save yourself! The guy's name is Dirk Adventureman, by the way. Dirk Adventureman? Go, Tuck, save yourself! I love that. Save yourself, and by extension, me! So I'm gonna try and run as hard as possible. Come on. With my fat thighs. Yeah, so 2D6 plus strength is what you're telling me. Yes. Seven. Oh, okay. You haul ass, utilizing all the power of your mighty fuse to run towards the rock.

You see Bing, like, bolt ahead of you, Billy flapping from his back like a little neckerchief. God, Bing is so fast now, it's crazy! He's on the back of the spiked-up mast, like a little hobo sack. Like a bindle. Like a bindle. I totally am. Little Billy Bindle, hang on tight, buddy. I am! And you make it to this rock outcropping. You hop up on top. Tuck, you scramble up, pulling your enormous bulk over the edge. Give it good! Fuck!

And Perel's not holding on tight, so it's like, he's kind of flopping all over the place for some reason, and I look back and I realize it's because he's trying to treat me like a horse and do the thing where when you gallop, you go up and down and up and down. Up and down. You're a cadence. And you get him up there eventually, through no help of him. And when you get to the top, he's standing over top of you. I'm lying down. Oh my god!

And he says good job, Tuck, I was worried about you there for a moment, but I knew that you could pull through. I hate you so much right now. And he runs his fingers along the tip of his hat and looks into the distance. But if you look behind you, this huge fucking gross monster, this rock eater, is padding along around the edge of the rock, but it doesn't seem like it can get up, or it doesn't want to risk leaving the sand.

So it sniffs around for a little bit, and then it turns around really slowly, and dips its head back under the sand and disappears. Bink throws the spear where he last saw it. Yeah! And looks at everyone like, yeah! You better run! Yeah, you got him! Almost got him! Yeah, you did! I heard him scream. Yeah, V! High five! He smacks my hand back down into the sand. And yeah, you see this tent set up at the top of this outcropping. Alright, I walk up to the tent. There's nobody there. What?

It's empty. There's a fire, though? There is a fire. Hello? Hello? Discern realities. Yeah, discern realities. Six plus realities? Wisdom. Seven. You get one question. What happened here recently? Okay, so you look around, and you find a bunch of, like, cushions on the ground inside the tent. There is a fire that seems to just be burning. You realize you don't smell any smoke, and you don't see any, like, fuel in the fire, but it's just crackle, crackle.

That was a terrible fire sound that I was trying to make. Crackle, crackle. Sounds like Ebola snap, crackle, pop. Sounds like Ebola. Whoever has Krispies! And, um, yeah, there's the tent and a bunch of cushions on the ground. It looks like somebody was staying here, lit the fire, was relaxing, but then you can see footprints traveling off in the direction that you were going. Oh. So there's somebody else out here, and they might be going in the same direction that you're going.

So that's what you find. You've got this empty tent with some accoutrement of some sort of desert traveler, a fire, that seems unusual in some way, and footsteps heading off into the desert. Can we Spout Lore about the fire? Absolutely, you can. 2d6 plus intelligence. Does anyone here have intelligence at all? Who should be doing this? Zero. None of us. None of us ever will ever have intelligence. Wow. Five. Mark a point of experience.

So I think that when you fail a Spout Lore like that, when you're looking at a thing, it doesn't mean that the thing stops existing. So I'm still going to describe this thing to you. It's just that it's absolutely foreign. So you're looking, you see the fire crackling away while you're digging around in this tent, but then you look back and you realize there's no wood, there's no stones, there's no nothing. It's just a low brass dish sitting on the rock, covered in symbols of some kind.

And if you look at the flame, the flame goes to just above the surface of the dish and then there's a gap. So it's just this flame hanging above the surface of this brass dish. Seems like some kind of illusion. Tuck's gonna touch it to find out. You burn yourself. Okay. Did I take damage? No, the actual, the dish is cool. Oh. Yeah, it's cool to the touch. Is the fire cool to the touch? Tastes the fire to fight it. Bites the fire. Yeah, if you try and touch the fire, you fucking burn yourself.

Okay. How many? How many damage does this fire give me? D6. Roll a D6. One. You take one damage. I have one armor. You're fine. But you go, ow, fuck. It's real fire. There's just this metal dish that has a fire burning in it with no fuel. Alright, I guess we can stay here for the night. Sure. Yeah. Great. Except you guys don't have any food. That's something to consider. So the next day you will be hungry for sure. What if I magic some food out? How?

Switcheroo or whatever I did with the when I turned all those things into breadsticks at the like weird ocean town? Yeah, right. Yeah. If you can tell me what you're turning into food. A pile of sand. I grab some handfuls of sand and I bring it up to the rock where we're on and I start like mixing it around. You're playing kitchen. Don't worry guys. Some stuff coming right up. Do it to do. Vig and Tuck know that this is how Billy does magic. So we're playing along. Can you pass me the water?

Oh yeah, for sure. Hand him some more sand. Billy, do you need any of these spices? I do. I need some pepper. And I pile a small pile of sand in front of him. I need salt. Another small pile of sand. I need paprika. And I put an actual little bottle of paprika because I had that with me. Oh, thank you. That smells delicious, Bilbo. Thank you. Nine. Well, we are aiding. Yeah. Five. All right. But yeah, so what does Billy make out of this sand? I was trying to make shepherd's pie. Okay.

So you're doing a bunch of stirring and it does start forming into like beef, vegetables, mashed potatoes, but it's just on this rock. Loose. Oh, I forgot to put it in a bowl first, everyone. So there's just a loose mash of shepherd's pie on the rock, but it smells pretty good. Help yourselves. I will take this half. And yeah, Pirelli, it's a little bit and it tastes kind of off. What?

Not in a bad, not in a like, we're poisoned, but it's like this is beef, but it tastes like cheese or something, you know, like you just kind of fucked up the flavor, but you're satisfied. Thanks, Billy. This is great. And Tuck is eating a handful of shepherd's pie. This is standard for Tuck. In pie situations, he'll scoop the middle out and walk away from the buffet table. And unless you have any plans for the evening, like the night can pass. There's really no one here. That flabbergasts me.

I know. Is there anything else we can do that's not just about lore on the specific tent that may tell us something about who was here? Can we read the stars and will they tell us where to go? Is there anything that the patterning on the pillows or the carpets? What about lunar moths? Yeah, what about the lunar moth? The lunar moths live in McCall, but you can talk to shit and ask it, what was here? Oh, you can talk to the elements. Yes, you can talk to the elements. That is an option.

Sup, Rock? Sup? Just chillin'. On ya? You? Just chillin'. Under ya? Cool. Nature of a rock is to chill, bro. You know it. Sup? And you feel it return. We need to explain this. Vink punches the ground. Pound. Rock. Rock pound the ground. Yeah, and you feel it return the gesture somehow. Ooh, strong big boy. Oh, you know how it is, man. Just a greater piece of the mantle of the earth. What, you're from the mantle?

Yeah, you know, grew up in the mantle and I thought when I'd, you know, I became a certain number of eons old that I'd maybe branch out, try and do my own thing. Thought I would become an outcropping. It's going pretty good, as you can tell. Damn, looking good. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Straight through the crest. Yeah, bro. What's going on? Whose tent is this? You have any idea? Uh, I didn't catch a name. You know, not many people can, uh, talk to me. But, um, they were pretty cool.

They were chill. They were alone. It was one entity. When was the last time they were here? Oh, wow. You are asking the wrong igneous formation, bro. Oh. I, like, I don't even, how do you judge time passing? I mean, yeah, I guess relative to my life. So pretty, pretty quick compared to yours. Yeah. Like, uh, I could tell you, for instance, just earlier, just a little bit ago, uh, this desert formed. So I don't think I can help you with like minute calculations.

I have an extensive, I have an extensive vocabulary for a piece of fucking rock. But, uh, even I can't help you with that, you know, she is bro as fucking good rock joke. So, uh, you know, if you want to know anything with more detail, hey, uh, you know anything about this almost up right there, bro. Yeah, I'm gonna need you to roll some fucking dice. Oh, yeah, sick. So you can't just ask me any question you want. It's got to be something in it for me, I guess. What do you want?

What do you, what's, what's going on? What do you miss about being in the, the mantle? Oh, hey, what was your favorite part? Warmth? Oh, pressure. Oh yeah, man. Some warmth, some pressure, just nothing like getting squeezed on all sides, you know, just absolutely crushed, bro. That's really cute. Hey, you know, man, I'm fracturing just thinking about it. I'm just thinking about it. All right, man. Easy, easy. That's you hear a deep intake of breath.

I just want to say, I, I don't know if you can tell, but I'm not like other people. Yeah, I, um, can tell you're communicating with me via vibrations through your bones, bro. That's fucking weird, but I'm into it. You know what else is weird and you might be into, I can give you a good squeeze. I can make you feel that pressure again. I just want to know more about this person. Who's he? Who's he? I can give you a good squeeze. I can give you a good squeeze. Word. All right. Sweet.

Plus a charisma, bro. That's eight. Ooh. All right. Well, uh, let me just think about how to describe a thing that's not like useful, but is interesting to you. Um. Something I noticed based on the other beings that have, uh, crossed by smooth yet rough exterior in the past. Is that this thing, two legs, does that sound familiar? Yeah. Dose to let uno dose legs, no dose legs. And also you guys usually, you all usually at some point like jam a bunch of stuff in your mouths.

Like, yeah, I just saw you do it. You cramp a bunch of shit in your face. The four of you on top of me right now, you like took some stuff, mixed it with some other stuff. I was like, I'm going to go in there and see like happy with that. Yeah. Generally. Yeah. This one did not do that. None of it. So I don't know. Is that a detail that is surprising? Yeah. I mean, I guess so. Unless, you know, maybe there were an elf or a Druid. Could be. I don't know what you're saying.

I don't even know those words. Well, I'm an elf Druid who doesn't have to put stuff in my mouth either. No, not like you. Oh. Kinda. You know, two legs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Two legs. Yeah. Two legs. Does a little tap. The other ones on the side also. Oh. Yeah. Two more legs. Oh, like a centaur. Like this, he gets down on all fours. No, no, no, no. Like the way you were. The up, the up legs. The legs you grab with. Oh, my arms. Yeah. Arms. Yeah.

Also arms it had. Ving is embarrassed. I'm sorry. Of course, arms. Hey, don't be embarrassed. I am. A rock. I know. Yeah. I'm a rock. I know. I got nothing going on. So, yeah. That's all I got for you now. Thanks, man. No problem. Here's a squeeze. I guess, do I have to do elemental mastery to squeeze them? I mean, you kind of set up that that's what you'd be doing. Yeah. All right. So, 2D6 plus whatever, constitution. Constitution. Wait. Can we just hug him? Do we have to? It's a rock, man.

You think a hug's going to have enough pressure? I mean, depends how much love you put into it, I guess. Wow. Unfortunately, Paul set up that he would be doing something similar to this. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he would be doing something special, so. Fuck. I can love inside this rock, though. Ew. Oh, yeah. Seven. All right. The effect I desire comes to pass. All right. What does this look like?

He lies down on the ground, starfish, and just starts like, sorry, guys. I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… I just… Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Grand shepherd's pie, man. Hey, now, I tried my best. It was good, Billy. It was good. No, it wasn't. Look at what you did, man. You made Billy cry. Okay, you want it here. And he starts pulling hamburger helper out of his pockets and throwing it on the ground. I don't want it now. Well, now nobody gets to have it because it's on the sand. And the rock starts vibrating and creaking and jiggling.

And you look over at Ving and he's just starfished on the ground. He's just like, oh, he's got his arms around the base of it like. Oh, that's tricks. And you feel the rock that you're on rumble, start to rumble. And then you hear a great rumbling out in the desert. And in the distance, you see a dune start to sink and level out. Whoa. Oh, that's probably okay. And the rock's like, oh, yeah. Ew. Wait, did that rock just come? A little bit of magma. Just came out. That was what I was.

What I needed. Did Ving just fuck this rock? Did Ving trade a sexual favor with a piece of rock? Oh, what was effectively a useless piece of information? Sand thing was related, but not in that way. Ving is rock hard. That's not. Well, we'll just put. Well, don't worry. We'll put an NC 17 at the top of this episode. We'll be good to go. No, that was not a sexual. It was a rock favor. Rocks don't have sex. They just fuck. Okay. So, yeah. Somebody was here. They don't eat.

They have wandered off in the desert. And they're bipedal. And they have arms. Yep. Two arms. Two arms, two legs, not eating. Yeah. Sounds like an elf druid. But he says not like me. So, but kind of like you. So probably maybe a full elf druid. Cool. Hmm. So, yeah, you go to sleep. Perel falls asleep like instantly. He puts his stupid hat over his face and tries to orient his sleeping body so that he looks like he's a real cool guy casually sleeping in the field.

Like he's got his hat over his face. Yeah. He's got his hands crossed behind his head and his legs kicked out and his ankles crossed. And eventually he falls asleep and then he just immediately curls up into the fetal position. And then, yeah, the morning comes. The sun rises. And within like 20 minutes of the sun coming up, it's so fucking hot. Billy's ready to get the fuck out of here. Yeah. It's boiling hot. Okay. Maybe we should start heading to that fucking gulch. Yeah. Cavern? Canyon.

Canyon. Yeah. Sorry, guys. I am that fucking shepherd's pie. There's something weird about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, now that I think about it, if you asked me to explain the difference between a gulch and a canyon, I don't think I could. Hmm. Gulches are wet. Really? I mean, anonimata pier leads me to believe that. It sounds like it would be wet. Gulch.

Okay. Give me another. Undertake a perilous journey. I'll be quartermaster. Okay. If you want. Yes. I will be the scout this time. All right. I'll trailblaze. Two to six plus wisdom. Phew. I got a shittier roll. I got 11. I got 11. I got three. Oh, no. So the scout again does poorly. It's too bright. Like, you know, that's. Oh, you have light sight. I have light sight. Yeah. So that doesn't work. Oh, right. We determined that Ving sees better in bright light. Yeah. That's so silly. I love it.

Okay. Billy, I guess because you were embarrassed about fucking up the food the day before, you're being very cautious with the water. Yeah. In fact, I'm not letting anyone have water. Yeah. Perel's like, Billy, I'm getting kind of thirsty. Could I have a little bit of. No. Only if you really need it. I do. No. All right. So if I really need it, I can't have it. Then you can have it when it's when you're like, when you really need it. Like when I'm dying. Yes. It's the only time.

Look, I'm parched, too. But like, I got to be responsible. I have to think of my family. All right. Whatever. And like, it's easier walking through the sand with tuck, because if you have trouble, like if you start skidding, he just picks you up and pushes you forward. Yeah. But then you overlook something dangerous. What is it? It's a rock crab. They're everywhere. All environs. Rock scorpion. A porn scorpion. It's a porn scorpion. It's a porn scorpion hive. Oh, my God. Yeah.

We walk right over. We're a massive hive. I guess it has to be a porn scorpion because you're all bought in already. So I think like, yeah, Ving, you're looking around and you're like, man, I love having light sight. I can see anything out here. And you put your foot like right into a hole in the sand that you didn't see. And you feel a sharp sting right in your leg. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I look into the nest. And yeah, you see what is what do they look like?

They just look like regular scorpions. But in their nest, they usually have like some pornographic pictures. Absolutely not. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They're holding up to show you. Remember, I retconned this aggressively. No, it's it's canon. It's in the episode. I want. OK, I look. I love you, my friend, Abdulaziz. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. It's impossible for me to justify that scorpions dragged magazines out into an inhospitable desert. Do you really want it?

To be that maybe they carve their own out of sandstone in relief. Are you sentient being? Would you rather it be that, Sean? Would you rather it be that or that they found some in a stump in the woods? Does it not make sense that the scorpions venom is an aphrodisiac? Well, both. It's both. Oh, my God. It's definitely just an aphrodisiac. Thank you, Jessica. I mean, I really want the porn there. But I also know people would have like a bad time if Bill was looking at porn. It's not even that.

It's that it is impossible for me to reconcile in my mind why there is pornography. I'm sorry, Sean. Sandshark and floating fire. That's right. Don't we live in a fantasy world? Bro rock talk. If I said the sandshark came ripping over the dunes on a dirt bike, I would understand your anger at me. So it makes you so horny that you start seeing sexy shapes and everything. You look at a tree and you're like, that is a fucking. An orgy of leaf people. I like that. That's pretty funny.

That rock is definitely looking like boobs or a dick or whatever you're into. It makes you see pornography, like pornographic images everywhere. And maybe that's why I thought that the scorpion, when he got stung by it, was holding up porn because it was I think it just had its claws in the air. And it was and he was like, oh, my God, this magazine's everywhere. Magazines everywhere. Yeah. I have to get to some cold spaghetti. Yeah.

Sometimes in the woods, you'll find a bag of old porn scorpions. Kids will go out there to sting themselves and then look at shit. Okay. I feel bad. There can be porn magazines in here. If you really want there to be, it's just so hard for me to justify. No, I'm fine with it. I think suggested it keeps it canonical that it makes you see pornography when it gets done. Yeah. All right. Because you get so horny. There's just mirages of porn. Yeah.

I think he's a big, beautiful breast on the top of Perel's head. Wow. His hat turns into a breath. Yeah. You keep. Yeah. So you feel this thing and you pull it out and there's like a tiny little black scorpion on your leg. Shit. Guys, do you recognize it right away? Tuck does. Okay. Yeah. Those are porn scorpions. Get your foot out of that, man. And you turn around because you're like, I can't look at my family right now. I'm too ashamed. But then in the distance over the crest of a dune nearby.

You see an elf come over the horizon with a head of curly blonde hair and lipstick on and a red sequined dress and a thick handlebar mustache. Yeah. And you hear on the wind. Hello there. And you feel your eyes go. Oh, God. Out of your head. Just for a second. Shape shifts into a wolf. Oh, yeah. You slap on the table. You slap on the table that you're on your dick. He rolls up in your face. My dick. He rolls right up. His tech. No, on his tuxedo. On his tuxedo. Billy, don't look.

His dick is rolled up. I mean, on his tuxedo. We all knew that I meant that. We all knew that I meant that. My body. And you feel yourself inexorably drawn to this dune walking towards it. No, Tuck is trying to grab him to suck the venom out. And yeah, Ving's trying to get away right now. Yeah. So can I roll? Yeah. Two D six. Two D six. Plus what? I guess it would be dexterity. To grab him? Yeah, because he's trying to wiggle out. Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah. Yep. Two D six plus dexterity.

Nine. Perel, help me. Billy's going to help, but I'm doing it with my eyes closed because you said, look away, Billy. Okay. Two D six plus bond. Okay. Because his eyes are closed. I got three. It doesn't matter. Okay. You got snake eyes. Yeah. So Billy forgot to open his eyes when. Help. Tuck. Yelled help. So I grabbed Perel instead. I'm like, no, stop doing what you're doing. We're going to, we're going to suck the poison out of you. You just start biting Perel's leg. Yeah.

Mark a point of experience. Okay. And Perel's like, Billy, no, get off me. You can't trick me. Sucking on his ankle. Ow. Billy got fuck. And yeah, Tuck, you still have Ving in your arms, but let me add her. Let me add her. What's the seven to nine? I, I don't know. I don't necessarily want it to be that you get stung as well. Cause it's just, that's so much horniness. Okay.

I think it's that Ving starts kicking so hard being like, let me, let me out of here that you can either let him go or take Ving's damage. I'll take Ving's damage. All right. Tuck roll Ving's damage, which is what? D six. D six. Three. Yeah. Ving whips his head back and slams it right into your nose. And you feel a tiny little crunch. Oh fuck. And I hold him down. And I, yes, just like that. Sorry. Stop it. Oh, our kid is here. Sorry. I'm trying to fight it.

I, I put my lips on his, the wound and I suck the venom out. All right. Constitution. No, not there. 26 plus constitution. Quick, please. 10. Okay, great. And you, you, you suck mightily. Ew. I suck so hard. And you feel a bunch of, uh, blood in your mouth and you spit it to the side and you get the idea that you got a good amount of the venom. Ving. Like about this much blood in your mouth. Eight inches of blood. And Ving, you're kicking. Tuck's holding you down.

You're looking at the sky and boy, those clouds look pretty hot. Holy moly. And then, oh, wait, no, those are just clouds. Those are just clouds for sure. I was this close to finishing. I'm so sorry. Sorry. That was crazy. They should sell that shit in bars. They do. Oh, what? It's called Spanish Scorpius. Oh, damn. And Tuck's bleeding out of his nose. I'm sorry, man. I'm really sorry. You know, I didn't have any control. I'm so sorry. That's okay. Can you put some bolt? This is up there.

And you turn around and Billy is attached to Perel's leg and he's kicking. Perel is kicking around like Billy is a raccoon. That's a, that's a bit not to his uncle. He's like, Billy, no, get off me. Uh, and I assume eventually Billy realizes the problem. Yeah. I'm, I apologize profusely. Right. So sorry. No, it's fine. You have really smooth legs. It's hard to tell. I shaved them before we left. Why? Aerodynamic, but you're wearing leather pants. I'm aware. Yeah.

And, uh, you continue through the desert. And, uh, you know, like it sucks out here for sure. It's really warm. The sun's beating down with every passing minute. Perel's pants are getting louder. It's fucking crazy. He's starting to get pretty red. Like he's sweating so much and he's got his legs really wide while he's walking. Oh, the boils. It's like, I really should have greased these things or something. Well, you can just take them off. No one's going to judge you for your bad choices.

I have a little bit more dignity than walking through the desert. Without pants, Billy smash cut to Perel has cut the legs off of his shorts up to his groin. Oh, he made chaps. No, he's got a leather diaper on. Basically, the rest of his legs are bare. Nice. Uh, being takes the other ones as chaps. There you go. Sweet. Uh, and yeah, it's the sun's beating down. Perel feels a little bit better. Now, Billy's being a real miser with the water.

Uh, but, but about half a day passes and, uh, you're all just a little bit burnt, but you see a rock formation rising out of the sand ahead of you. The walls go up high on either side, about 60, 70 feet, a tumble of like red brown stone coming out of the yellow sand. The wind is picking up around here and it whistles through the Canyon in a haunting manner. Oh, I just can't. That's not what it sounds. Like that's Perel standing behind you. He's Perel. Stop it. Knock it off.

No, this is a, a momentous moment. We've arrived at the location of our first adventure. You realize, as he says this, that you've been adventuring with Perel for over a year and he strides forward, his leather diaper creaking in the wind. His legs are so pimpled. The wind. You can see his underwear sticking out under the diaper. Yep. Here it is. Sand eater Canyon. Somewhere within, perhaps we will find the tomb within which the entrance to which we will find. What?

Perel, do you want some water? I would love some small dog. Let's all have some water. And, you guys drink some water staring at the, up at this Canyon. What now? My compatriots. What's it look like here? We discern realities. Yeah, totally discern realities. Cool Canyon. It looks so deep. Duty six plus wisdom. Nice. 10. Okay, great. Three questions from discern realities. Ah, what's about to happen. Okay. Interesting.

You get to the mouth of this Canyon and the sand is getting firmer because now it's mixed with like stone. It's got a little bit of a rock bed. There's parts jutting up and you see footprints in the sand entering the Canyon that are similar to, if not identical to the footprints that you saw at the tent the other day. Hmm. What here is not what it appears to be.

You're walking around and you see, you hear some sounds above the Canyon below and you're like, well, you know what we never thought of is why this place is called sand. Eater Canyon. And, um, tuck, you hear a sound that you know very well. And actually all of you know very well following the battle at Elaine Springs, Sandy, your Canyon very likely refers to the sand worms that come to this Canyon to mate. Oh, Oh, so it's running season. And what sounded sandworms make? I, I don't know.

I think, I feel like it's like whales. Yeah. Oh, like, Hmm. Ooh. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. So you start hearing worm song on the wind. Oh, worm song. I haven't heard this since I was a kid. Oh, so what's going to, what's about to happen is that, uh, there's going to be a lot of worms around. So at some point in the day, you're going to start seeing worms because it's feels to you thing. Like this is sort of mating season in the desert. You can smell worms fucking on the worm pheromones.

This Gulch is really wet with worms. Yeah. There's like worm goo on the rocks. Oh yeah. There's like strips of like fluorescent sand. Oh yeah. It's beautiful. When Billy touches it, it lights up along his finger trail. Oh, Billy don't touch. Okay. It's, it's worm shit. Billy. We've talked about this. It's beautiful. Uh, the last one, uh, what here is not what it appears to be. Okay. So you are looking around the Canyon for a while. And you're like, Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go.

Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go. Where am I going to go.

It but you see very faintly in this piece of rock in this jumble of greater stones what looks to be the symbol of an eye oh take this out guys oh shit oh it looks like the eye on the on the coin Perel pushes you both out of the way it looks like the eye on the coin oh my god Perel I found it the entrance to the ancient tunnels you're being a bit of a dick adventurer man it's dark adventure I see I see what you did I see what you did so he drops out of the dark adventurement thing ah what do we do what do we do um is there an entrance and he's like jamming his face into the rocks he's like maybe in here and smell what the air is different dank wind can I um either discern realities or like trap expert to see if there's a entrance discern reality yeah cool please seven okay great so you get one one question okay what here's not what it appears to be the pile of stones that you're on you do see that it's like there are gaps like it's sitting over top of something and a stone that is about two to three times the size of you Billy appears to recently based on the scuffs around the edges been moved out of place and then put back and you would guess based on your thickness and like to like figuring out small details in your environment this was moved within the last few hours who guys look here whoa I can move I can move this out of the way I think yeah yeah yeah and the stone itself you would have no trouble moving because it's so small but I am still gonna make you roll defy danger strength because who knows maybe you collapse something yeah totally to d6 plus strength yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I guess you do not collapse something you move that rock out of the way no problem making a space big enough for Billy to squeeze in per L can crawl through thing you can even make your way through and you're able to because of your caution shockingly you're kind of cautious in this situation you move a couple more aside so you're able to squeeze in as well cool and yeah you cram yourselves into the crevices in these rocks I hand billion type one of the torches who we all have a torch.

Oh yeah the sunstones. Oh the sunstones. Oh sick. Sick. I'm gonna trap expert. Yes trap expert would be wonderful. Holy shit man. Twelve. All right. So yeah you get three hold for trap expert. So Billy holds up the sunstone all around the entrance and so I'm looking is there a trap here and if so what activates it. The trap appears to be like you're looking at you dig yourself into this crevasse. Crevasse. I love it.

And the way that the rocks have settled themselves obscures from the outside but becomes clear once you're inside with the sunstone that this is actually the remains of a doorway that was carved into the stone. You see in the rock shattered sections of what looked like panels that covered ancient mechanisms. And you realize that the mechanisms themselves were secure. For example. For a very long time.

But for some reason recently have been disturbed to the point where if you pass through this doorway and even make the smallest mistake this ancient section of a shattered stone door is going to come crashing down on all of you. Oh fuck. Okay. So we got to step lightly you guys. What else is hidden here. So what you see that is hidden here is in what would be like the jam of the door like the outside edge of it. If you were to approach it when it was constructed.

You see a small circular outline set into the stone and within it a black obsidian coin with the symbol of an eye carved on its surface. Oh entrance tokens. And whoever entered this place whoever left the footsteps at the camp and in the canyon had one of these coins as well. So that coin is left by that person. Yep. Is it Allison. That's where we're going to end it for this week folks. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers. Bye guys.

Playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz. So long. And playing Fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai. See you. Thanks to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. And thank you to all of our amazing supporters. And you can support us on the internet at Spout Lore most places including patreon.com slash Spout Lore where you can gain access to exclusive bonus material. Uh.

Total full on side campaign in world of blades called spelt more Mall Brats exclusive merchandise discord access and more. And if you don't donate but you still want to be part of the community join the discord. There's a link to it on our website and there's a link in the show notes too. And if you like the show feel free to drop us a review on iTunes. Catch you next time. Bye bye. And so ends the tale of adventures three. Who tried their best. They can't. And.

Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For times of rest in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly. Spout Lore.

Hi everyone, it's Fat Billy here. Thanks for coming. Listen to our podcast. If you want more podcasts, you can go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore, where you can give us some money. And I like money, so I can buy snacks. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in bread. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Hi everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara.

Joining me as always playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hey, how's it going? Playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello. Hello. Sorry. Are you done? I'm fine. Are you done? I'm okay. Can I do mine over again too? I asked a question, there's no way they can answer me. Okay, alright, okay, alright. Playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hi, how are you guys doing? Good. Oh, the three of us? Now I changed it to who I was intending it towards. I'm good.

Start over, I'm sorry. Okay. Playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello everyone. Playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hi, how's everybody doing? What the fuck? And playing Fat Billy the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hi, how are you? No, Jessica. I didn't know how to react. Okay, let's do it one more time. Okay. Hi, welcome Spell Lord. With me as always, it is me, Jessica Tai. And to my right, Tacoma Dome. Hi, I'm played by Abdul Aziz. Okay. No, you do. And further.

To the right and across from Jessica geographically is Paul Oppers. And I play Ving, the half-elf quartered man druid. Zumba. What the fuck is going on? And to my left. No, you're right. My right, you're wrong. With us as always, Sean O'Hara, Game Master. Hi, how's everybody doing? They're gone. The listener. Yeah, they've already gone. They turned it off. Oh my God. Guys, I'm looking at the analytics right now. Season eight's zero listeners. Oh, it's like the 2008 stock market crash.

Whoa, it's to zero now. Holy shit. We've all lost our homes. Oh no. Oh no. Fuck, we put too much of the podcast in triple A tranches. Guys, I've got bad news for you, but good news for me. I shorted the podcast, so I'm a billionaire now. Oh my God. Yeah, I knew this was coming. I had a feeling this was going to happen. You said the game would never stop. Hi, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers.

Hey. Playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello. And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Hi. When last we left our heroes, a season seven finale took place. Big moves from everybody. The Torch of McCall and Fatim of the Lightguard taken prisoner. Our intrepid heroes returned to the Margani Library. Through a flooded section of a secret staircase. Only to discover that the library itself was under assault by a member of the Immolators and a group of Lightguard.

After absolutely pounding as much wine as they could each physically handle. Oh, shit. Yeah. In an attempt to heal their bodies and souls, Tuck and Ving were healed to full. Billy was healed to full and wasted. There's a drunk baby in the battle for the Margani Library. Possibly like the most dangerous and surprising tactic of all. Absolutely. There's a drunk baby with a knife in here. He tumbling everywhere. The battle was joined.

You reunited with your friend Perel, novice initiate, novitiate of the silent word. Cool. Doing everything that he could. To avoid getting close to a combatant. Billy took on that member of the Lightguard with Perel. Perel showed some skill in his newfound martial arts. Ving baked some clay onto the faces of a few people. Whoopsie. Terrifying both himself and the onlookers. And Tuck mixed it up with a two-sworded dual-wielding immolator. Killed that guy. Yeah.

All three of you eventually descended on this fool and ended up whooping the shit out of him. And then… Farah, master of the Margani Library, found you and took you to a medical theater in which the Torch and Fatim were being medically treated. Mm-hmm. Along with Shia, the Garden Snake, Ving's half-sister. Some time passed. Everybody recuperated.

And then you had a nice little sit-down with Ama Margani and the former Torch of Makal, a pretty pleasant, if stressed out, old Makalan man named Farhan. And had a little… A little conversation about how bad he feels about what he did, but also how he wanted to speak with you because the demon that was the Torch of Makal allegedly had an overarching plan of its own.

And we finished the season with a very Avengers-style post-credits cut-to-black moment in which you were asked what you knew of the Dark Guard. And then Morgan Freeman walked in. Morgan Freeman. You know it's not Morgan Freeman. I corrected myself in the incorrect direction. You said Samuel… I thought I got it wrong the first time, and I was wrong about that. Anyway, Samuel L. Jackson walked in, and he told Robert Downey Jr. That we've entered a bigger universe.

And this is where we do the crossover with The Adventure Zone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ama Margani found Tuck in a boxing ring, punching a sandbag. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thinking about his past, and then knocking it off the wall. And that is where we find ourselves now. A brand new day. How much time do we think has passed? Maybe a week, week and a half since the battle? Yeah. Yeah. Good week. Yeah. And you have all been living at the library, presumably. Yes.

I wonder, do you think that they've inducted you into the librarians? Ooh, honoraria librarian. At least temporarily, yes. Yeah. Or begrudgingly. Yeah. Totally. They've begrudgingly given you quarters. Yeah. They're like, you guys can't have robes yet. Yeah. So you've been living in sort of the, there is an area of the library that hadn't been seen on screen up until now, the dormitory area. This is especially windy.

You're not really sure what this was used for when it was a mine, but the tunnels are very windy and twisty, and they break off into a very small, cozy little sort of burrow. And so you've got… I thought, are you all sharing a room here? Always. They offered you three rooms, and you were like, why? I guess we could put our shit in the other two rooms. Sweet. And they put you next to Perel, so you guys are sort of neighbors again. And what have you been up to for the last week or so?

Perel's been making me read books. Like actually learn how to read, read? Well, mostly helping him. He's like, we have a lot to learn really quickly, and I need you to help me read. I need you to help me read some of these old texts. I'm like, ugh. I don't want to eat. I don't want to slide around. Slide around? We built a slip and slide in the atrium the second day, and we got in so much trouble. They came down. They're like, what the fuck are you guys doing?

We're like, the sign says no pizza subs. It doesn't say… It says no food or drink, actually. But it doesn't say no slip and slides. We've crossed it out and put pizza subs above food and drink. With a frowny face. Yeah. Because somebody specifically got mad at you while you were eating a pizza sub. So yeah, what kind of stuff has Perel been getting you to help him read? Some of the old runic books and the loose papers and stuff like that.

Just stuff that's really old that hasn't been categorized to help us find more about this dark guard stuff. Oh, cool. Cool. That implies that the dark guard stretches back to the origins of magic. Oh, cool. Right. Because the books are written in runes. Runic language is super old, right? Yeah. Yeah, I like the idea that the dark guard is a more modern name for an old thing. Oh. Because you said it was like links in a chain. Mm-hmm. What was the link? The torch was a link in a…

The demon that was the torch was a link in a greater chain. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That would shackle the world. Oh, yeah. Well, what wields the shackles? Right. We should talk about sort of… The following conversation of that was… Yeah. What Farhan told you. So what I'm thinking is that, yes, the chain that he spoke of was the quote-unquote dark guard, and that what he meant was that what this demon was doing was part of a larger plan. You know what I mean?

Like, this is one piece of a puzzle that a bunch of other influences are trying to complete together. Yeah. Okay. But under the same goal? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And what the plan… He thinks, like, he doesn't have, like, access to all of those memories, basically, or all of the thoughts of the demon, but his feeling was that the ultimate goal was a place where icons are free to spread their influence, like, as freely as they desire.

So, like, his ramping up of zealotry in McCall was, like, if that demon had its way, it would spread that influence all over the world. Mm-hmm. And, like, whip up zealotry wherever… Wherever it could so it can continue to sustain itself. Which is a specific quality of zealotry rather than of the other ones, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's not that every demon's trying to do this? No, definitely not. Like, it's the exact same kind of thing, right?

Like, where a demon of baking would be like, well, it'd be nice if everybody liked bakery, but not bakeries. They're not trying to bake the world. Exactly, yeah. Is it, like, trying to spread, like, basically, like, a conforming, like, ideology or whatever? Like, basically, like… To remove all chaos, which is, like, the basis of nature. Mm-hmm. Where it's like, no, we're not going to follow, like, the laws of nature.

And so, like, that's why the demon that possessed Farhan, that's kind of what he was, like, maybe, like, set out to do. And would explain, like, the war between, like, the dark elves and the druids. Like, the dark elves wanting some sort of, like, order and, like, basically, like, exterminate a group of people who followed, like, nature's laws and stuff like that. Yeah. I really like the idea that that war and that influence was the last attempt by this icon to put that situation in motion.

You know what I mean? Like, and this thing with the light guard and the torch was, like, the most recent attempt. Yeah. I like the idea that, like, if you look through history and you know what to look for, every once in a while, there are these events where, like… Huge wars break out over seemingly nothing. Mm-hmm. And it's because it's, like, oh, a demon came in, like, or a warlock was operating on behalf of the icons to, like, try to… Bring order to chaos.

So, at some level, the wizards worship the icons. Yeah. That's kind of, like… Or they draw their power from the same realm. Yeah. They liked the… What druids could do. And so, like… But they were… Maybe it could have been the thing where it's, like, well, they're not doing anything with it. Like, why would you have so much power and not take advantage of it? And, like, the wizards would want, like, more out of that. So, the druids, like, embrace the chaotic nature of the natural world.

And they try and walk with that chaos and, like, just be with the world in its natural state. And warlocks are on the other side, where they're, like, trying to force order into the world. And then wizards… Kind of, like, walk the line between, where they try to manipulate the world to their own ends. Where they're, like, I want… Oh, it's, like, individuality. Yeah. These are my… Chaos, order, and then the self in the middle. And they're more self-focused. Like… And, like, a smaller…

On a smaller scope, too. Yeah. Where they're, like, I don't give a shit about fucking icons. And I don't give a shit about fucking nature. I'm going to do the thing that I want to do. I'm going to make these frogs. I love frogs. And I could make more frogs. And… Oh, man. Yeah. Totally makes sense. I like the baby boomerang. The baby boomers of our universe. Yeah. So, warlocks are fascists. Yeah. Druids are anarchists. And wizards are libertarians. Yeah. Basically. Yeah.

I don't like wizards anymore. I think it's, like, everyone's on a spectrum. So, I'm sure there's some… Like, we met Aquarian. She seemed cool. Perel was, like, I wanted to help. Yeah. Like, he wanted to make his frog things. Libertarians think they're helping, too. Yeah. Exactly. And everyone is trying to help. In their own way. Like, warlocks are, like, this world is chaos. Like… You don't want to live in such a mess.

Well, in a place like McCall, where there is so much, like, poor and suffering in the streets and children are dying at night, like, then, of course, other people would follow something that is trying to do something about that. Totally. Like that. Yeah. So, yeah. I like the idea that, like, all over the world, throughout history, you can find these incursions of, like, icons. And it doesn't always have to be zealotry.

It's, like, it can be different ones that are trying to, like, force that order into the world. Mm-hmm. Yeah. In places that are hard to exist, which, with the dark elves up in the frozen north. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, when there's, when your survival is on the line, then you, faith, it becomes more and more important. Yeah. Like, sometimes those wars might have been started by, like, a demon of rebellion.

And it's, like, we're still trying to, it's still trying to bring order to this, like, chaotic situation, but it's doing it through, like, extreme acts of rebellion. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Looking really cool, smoking a cigarette. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I ripped the sleeves off my leather jacket, so now it's a vest. Wow. And then I put the sleeves on my legs, so they're pants. Iconic. Not pants, though, just leggings. Yeah. And then he flicks the cigarette. That's what you think, pops. Chaps. Chaps.

Chaps. Basically, like, leather leg warmers. Like, they're falling down all the time. Put my chaps on my arms and my armpits are cold. But you can see my pits through my chaps, which is hot. Yeah. Yeah. Hot. Hot. I guess. This guy's such a rebel. It's gross. He's, like, too rebellious. It's, like, confusing how rebellious he is. Yuck. But it just makes sense to me because, like, the torch was a demon, so he was, like, directly influencing people around him on a huge scale. Mm-hmm.

But that makes sense for, like, what a warlock would be. It'd be people that icons can use with less of a gigantic influence. It's, like, the thing that happened in McCall. If you look at history books, you know, hundreds of years from now, you'll be, like, oh, yeah, you can kind of see the trend go crazy at this point. Whereas, like, if a warlock is out there, it's a little subtler. Yeah. Because a demon is the icon riding the person and taking control. Oh, yeah.

Like, Kendall Jenner's the demon icon. Uh-huh. And then Instagram influencers are the warlocks. And then we are the police. Yeah. I have no fucking clue. I don't know anything about internet culture. You don't need to. It's fine. She's right, though. Jessica's right. But that makes so much more sense. Like, the idea of warlocks. Warlocks are connected to demons, the icons riding the people, as opposed to the icons themselves. Yeah. That's what a lot of scholars don't understand. Oh, wait.

Warlocks are connected to the demons? Yeah. Because the demons are, like, are using people already, using this body of a person. And that makes it easier for them to understand how to make these connections with people that can help them do their work. Okay. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In your name, ocean. And the ocean's just like, I have waves. Instead of a person. Yeah, you need a mediating.

A person digging trenches being like, yeah, go dig a trench over there. You know what I mean? Because I think that in a way, icons, until, like, demons know what they want. I don't think that icons necessarily do. You know what I mean? Because icons are just like pure thought, basically. Yeah. Whereas a demon is like, yes, I know that I need more people to do the thing that I do. Yeah, I think that's, maybe that's why an icon will ride a demon.

Like, a single concept takes over a person's mind so it can think more fully. Interesting. I wonder if that suggests that demonic possession is almost accidental. It's almost a symbiotic relationship. Yeah. Where it's like, the icon has power associated with it. So it latches onto something with a mind to give that power, like, form and action. Mm-hmm. To drive it forward. Yeah.

So this is all stuff that has come up in conversations over the last week and a bit with Farhan and Ama and Farah being like, what is going on? Like, how can we make sense of this situation and what the torch actually wanted? Is Perel helping too? Yes. Perel is helping in so much as he really cares about all of you, but he also thinks that maybe this might point him in the direction of how to get his power back. Cool.

Because if all of this stuff is a lot closer than maybe people initially realized, he's like, okay, I could probably squeak my way past at some point in this situation and tap into that chaotic energy that I need. Such a Perel kind of plan. I'm just gonna sneak past you right there and just get into a room full of magic. Like, yes. I'm just gonna put on a fake mustache and sneak past the lord of all icons. Hello. I am also a demon. Don't mind me. What are you the demon of?

I am the demon of the world. I am the demon of the world. I am the demon of the world. I am the demon of the world. I am the demon of the world. I am the demon of the world. I am the demon of the world. I'm the demon of when you forget something, but you're not quite sure what you forgot. You know, you're tapping your pockets and you're like, well, my phone and my wallet are there. Here are my keys, but I think I'm missing something. That's what I'm the demon of.

The demon of I better go check the stove. As he's saying all this, his mustache is sliding. That's what I forgot. Spirit gum. Gotta go now. That's the demon of the world. That's the thing is like there are, there is technically an icon of forgetfulness. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point that some of the icons would never come through to our world. Yeah. Because they don't have like a virulent nature. But there's still part of that larger equation. Yeah. Yeah.

That's part of the theory that you've all put together about this dark art thing is that like it will be, if there are demons or icons that are a part of this conspiracy, it is specific ones. Like it's not going to be baking. It's not going to be. Yeah. Yeah. Competition. You know what I mean? Like they don't necessarily, they won't necessarily care about this. I think competition might. Competition might. Now that I've said it, competition might be like, oh yeah.

I'm going to get in there and be the best at everything. Oh, maybe that's like when you see like peak athletes. Yeah. Like Sean White is maybe a demon of competition. I would believe. He's a demon of something, that fucking guy. I don't understand athlete culture. Uh, it's, you don't have to. He's right though. Um, yep. I'm definitely helping Perel read all those books. And part of it, like a lot, we're coming across a lot of like druid and fairy stuff and magic.

So we're all super hungry about reading that. And Billy's just hungry. Yeah. Perel has been bugging you like all the time. I know he wakes me up from all my naps. I'm like, just leave me alone. Like so tired. And, and because of that, like he bugged you for, for days. Yeah. And then he found out that Shia knows how to read runes as well. So then he's been hanging out whenever you're like, go away. I'm sleeping. Yeah. He goes and he bugs Shia. So he's ping ponging between the two of you.

But then I got jealous. Who were you? Wait, who were you jealous of? Were you jealous of Perel because he got to hang out with Shia or Shia? Cause she was helping Perel. Well, I was jealous cause I wanted to be the smart one. Then, and now Shia knows everything. I like Shia a lot, but I'm like, I, I've been, I know way more than you. So I just like hang around like totes. I already know that. It's like when your best friend starts hanging out with another person, you start feeling left out.

You're like, what? Wait, no. What the fuck is going on here between you two? I'm, I'm the in, I'm here. I'm the reason. Why do you guys have inside jokes now? Fuck you. All these jokes should filter through me. Uh, what has Ving been up to? Uh, he's been studying with Farah, uh, with the speakers. Ooh. And the speakers. And he learned about the dark church. Ooh. Tell me a little bit about the dark church. There's a, these old churches found carved out of rocks. Deep, deep McCall.

They're thought to be where, uh, old Druids and weird, uh, fanatics got together and, uh, have all this, weird underground Druid church vibes. And when you say it's underground, do you literally mean it's in the deep ward? They're very underground, deep underground. Yeah. There's some like outside of town, caved in, like carved out of, uh, different caves or like crevices. There's probably some in the weird mines. Oh my gosh. Oh. There's dark churches all over the place. Wow. I see. Yeah.

Okay, cool. Yeah. Because of the connection to the outer dark. Oh, they come to places where icons, come through. Cool. Yep. Yep. I like that a lot. Or maybe it's, yeah, maybe it's thought that, I mean, this is all stuff that is becoming codified for maybe one of the first times in history or for the first time in a long time. But yeah, maybe it was like meeting places for these kind of cultish people who wanted to keep their beliefs out of the public eye. It does kind of seem like a cult.

It sounds like very culty. Yeah. Super cult. And they were always the antitheses. Yeah. Antitheses of whatever big religion found themselves. So in McCall, it's, they worship the Lord of the Flame. So these are the, the Shadow of the Flame is part of their. Oh, cool. Yeah. Yeah. Is their, their sect. Their side. Yeah. Is here, this, this particular sect is called the Shadow of the Flame. Wow. Is it a consistent ideology across like all darker churches like across the world?

I think they're pretty much, yeah, like balanced. And they feel like they're bringing balance. Yeah. To that area or to what, to whatnot. Yeah. That's a really cool thing. Yeah. And because it is so closely tied to the outer dark, it is like in that copper book. Yeah. They're like, okay, this sounds, this all sounds a little. Yeah. An evil church that lurks in the shadows. What if it's like, like these dark churches, it sounds like they're not really like inhabited anymore.

So what if like a lot of the old writings have been like destroyed in the fires? And so like what you have is like the info that's, that's left is like so sparse. Yeah. Yeah. I thought you were going to say the info that's left was literally what was engraved into copper. And that's where the phrase copper book came from. That would be cool too. Yeah. Like those were the ones that didn't burn. Yeah. Cool. Yeah.

There was an, when Ving was reading one of these funny books, he was like, I'm going to try and relax and like get away from all this learning stuffs. And he's reading this like pulp. Like I'm just going to read this, uh, this fun time. It's like watching Indiana Jones. And then he, he comes across this, this passage, but the section of the book was so specific and close to the ritual that he went through. Uh, when he sacrificed his, his ability to shape shift. Whoa.

That he was like, this must be, there's something to this. This is, if this is true, there must be other parts of this that are true. Yeah. I want to find, so then he's cross referencing, referencing the other parts of the book that kind of seem more ritualistic to see if he can find other things in the book and bring out the truth from this copy. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work. There's a ton of work.

Title of the book yep bringer of the black flame love it bringer of the black flame rules how does this sound as a name crosby dean haber is the name of the author of the author great great fucking pulp author okay he wears a tiny leather vest and on the same leather hat oh and you know actually you know what there's no this is one of the things where there's no artist portrait but bringer of the black flame is part of a greater series written by a pulp author called crosby dean haber so we've introduced a second book to the Spout Lore universe bringers of the black flame and love and lust and lust unbound oh but like a second series I guess yeah yeah um so oh fuck what's this series called is it just called what was it again like the something of uh bringer of the black flame I mean that could be the series and it could just be like volume one yeah totally okay yeah so the series is called bringers of the black flame yeah and this is volume one which is the bringer of the black flame the bringer of the black flame is the first book in bringers of the black flame is printed underneath yeah so the words bringer and black flame are on the cover of this book so much yeah and then the second book is called the second bringer of the black flame and then the titles get better after that he can't blame him he's writing these books so fast he's getting paid by the word exactly but yeah so crosby dean haber published by a bringer of the black flame press a bringer of the black flame production cool cool all right and this is so this is in between your like uh your sessions your training sessions with the speakers yeah yeah teaching me that word spoken word what's uh what's tuck been up to well tuck's been kind of jealous of how uh bing and pharah have been hanging out kind of similar to how billy got jealous yeah how much of this group's actions do you think are different than the other books um I'm not sure I'm not sure I'm not sure I'm not sure Do you think are driven by jealousy?

A thousand percent. Certainly in the last couple of weeks, quite a lot of them. Cause every time like Ving comes back from training, I'm like, so what did you and Farrah get up to? Did she say anything about me or anything? Same thing. He's walking to Farrah's like, so what was Ving wearing today? Yeah, both ways. I was like, oh, you and Ving have been training together a lot. I've been kind of just hanging out on my own. It's pretty cool. Oh, you guys are training later today. That's cool.

I don't think I have anything going on today. And she walks away. Okay, cool. Yeah, me too. I am also walking away. Cause I have a busy, like I'm busy. I have an appointment, really important, uh, important appointment. I'm with the torch talking in an empty hallway. I have a real, uh, important, important appointment, a point. I got to go. I'm going to go to my appointment. Uh, I'm going to go watch some important. I like the idea that Ving and Billy have been kind of busy.

And tuck hasn't really been doing anything. Yeah. He's kind of just wandering the halls aimlessly. Just be like, what the fuck is good? Exploring the library. Nah, not at all. Not with any level of perception, really accidentally exploring the library. Not even that. There's a lot of like people are like dropping books open in front of him to like a convenient page that he's just like, like, he's like, man, man, bet. Perel was here. He loved that. There was a book. And he just walks away.

And Perel is standing in front of you because he put the book down. He's like, what the fuck? Where's he going? I was in the middle of a conversation with Perel when I did that. And you forgot that you were talking to Perel. Tuck's just been so like engrossed in his own loneliness. He's, he's got like a music bottle on his hip and he's got like headphones in. He's just listening to welcome to the black parade from my alchemical romance. Pretty good. Welcome to my black flame parade. Okay, cool.

There's a, there's a situation where someone's doing a math equation on a board and there, and then he looks at it and doesn't solve it even though he knows the answer. Tuck sees an equation on a chalkboard. Nobody around. He's just decided to help sweep up. And he starts writing on the board and the numbers start flowing through him. And all of a sudden he's thinks that he has a new found understanding. And then someone walks up and goes, what the fuck did you do?

I've been working on this for weeks and now I have to erase everything to take all these dicks off of here. You can't just write two over and over and over again. So it has Tuck done anything that you would consider progress. I think he got bored after a few days of wandering aimlessly and ignoring important narrative hints that other librarians were trying to give him. So he started a fight club where he, he was just like, okay, here's what we're going to do.

You send people to fight me and then you give me money if I win. Who, who in the library allowed this to happen? It got shut down pretty quick. He didn't make it one of the top rules of fight club. He should have. No, but that's what he did. He was like, tell everybody about this cause I'm trying to make a lot of money, but don't tell anyone that'll try and shut us down. Okay, Farrah, I'm shutting this down now. That was the longest way to answer the question.

Have you done anything you would consider progress with? No, maybe ever heard back to season one. Yeah, this is because you took away the outlander move from it. I have been, this has all been pent up for a whole season. Did I take it? Oh, I made right. Yeah, I did kind of take away outlander from you, didn't I? Uh, what a blessing that was, but because that gambling scheme didn't work, he's kind of doesn't have any money of his own. He can't find Ving.

So he goes, he goes to like, he goes to, I'm still talking. I know, I know he goes to the torch and he's like, not the torch. Oh, right. He goes to, uh, like for Han and Ama and like one of their tea sessions. And he's like, Hey, do you guys, cause he's just passing by. He's like, Hey, do you guys have any change? Can you make change? Why would we have money? All I have is this thing.

And he puts it down and it's the obsidian coin that he picked up from the, uh, from the traveler's shrine in like season three, I think. Yeah. And, uh, the, like, Farhan is smiling idly while you fucking chatter. Cause he's gotten, he's, he's amused by you as this dolt that keeps stumbling into the room. Like guys, I figured out a new thing. I was reading this book about greasing pigs and I realized that if I grease myself, I can run faster and nobody can stop me.

Uh, but you put, that's why Billy wanted to slip and slide all over the place here. Cause, because Tuck kept greasing himself. And I was like, what are you doing? That's a slip and slide here is you grease yourself up and run and slide on a rock floor. Looked fun. You put the coin down and Farhan stopped smiling and his hand trembles a little bit as he picks it up and he's looking at it. Where did you get this? Um, I just picked that up at a traveler's, Ryan, uh, close to bull rush bull.

I'm unfamiliar. It's like near the high spring mall. It's in the principalities. Oh yeah. It's across the sea of graves. Do you know what this is? I don't know. Black coin with an eye on it. He closes his eyes as if he's trying to remember something. This is how the torch found the library. What? This coin is connected to, to the dark guard in some way. Wait, how do you use it to find the library? He could sense its presence. I did.

You, you had interactions with him before the first battle, correct? Yeah. He found us in a crystal bag. Yes. He recognized the presence of this coin on you then, and used that feeling to find the library, knowing that you had allied with the librarians. Wait, so he wasn't tracking Perel. He was tracking me. Yeah. Yeah. He was tracking you. Oh my God. What? Yeah. These coins are connected to the dark guard in some way.

He doesn't know how, he just knows they are, and he knows that the torch used these coins to find the library. Fuck, if I just left it, because remember Allison took it from me? Oh yeah. And she, and I took it back from her. Oh, because she was like, where'd you get this? Yeah. So she, if I just hadn't done that, we would have been fine. Allison had been to the outer dark. Well, she's a demon. Yeah. Yeah. She might know about the dark guard or might have known about the dark guard. She did.

I've said too much. Um, uh, I think actually, okay. I think I misunderstood your statement. Once the torch had met you, he recognized the presence. Like they did go to the principalities because they heard about Perel. Oh, that is still the case. But once he met you, he sensed that you had a coin on you. And once, you came to McCall, he'd been using that to track you. Yeah. So that's what Farhan tells you is that these coins are connected to the dark guard in some way.

He doesn't remember how, but just that the torch was using it to track you. And that's how he found the library. Their eyes of the dark guard. Like, yeah. Oh, so cool. That's the name of them. The eyes of the dark guard. Wait, do we still have that Mender's pin? Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Fuck. We're being tracked by so many organizations. Billy's using it right now to pick some like spices of his teeth. Yeah, that's all he can. That's he says.

If I were you, I would throw this in the deepest, darkest hole you can find. Don't say anything. I'm sorry. I nose laughed. Take that nose laugh out of the mic. Yeah, he does say throw this in the deepest, darkest, throw this in the deepest, darkest hole that you can find. And run in the other direction. I, I don't know. I've been carrying around for so long. I kind of don't want to.

You understand that if there is an organization of demons called the dark guard and a conspiracy being enacted upon the world, that with this coin, it would be extremely easy to find you. All right, fine. How many coins will you give me for it? I do not want it here. Okay. What about one? An even trade one for one. I have two. I'll give you two. Give me two coins and you can have this. He pats the blanket in the hospital bed. He's laying in and goes, I appear to be skint at the moment.

And I turned to, I'm like, I'm a you. I have not had money 600 years longer than he has not had money. I find if you are, if you're asking for money, you're asking the two wrong old men. Okay, fine. I'll give you both for one coin then. Okay. Okay. Okay. How about we take these now and we'll pay you later? Does that sound good? So Tuck thinks about it for a second. Real hard. You can tell because his nerd glasses are on right way up this time. Oh my God. And he's staring out a window too.

There's no, you're underground. He's, he's, you're looking at a painting of a window. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, staring at a painting of the sea. And then he turns around and goes, no deal. And then he puts, he drops them in his backpack and walks out and tries to start another fight club.

Alma and Farhan look at each other and laugh a little bit and continue their little board game that they were playing while they're drinking tea. So, yeah. So you're all sitting in the cafeteria around lunchtime and Perel is shoveling a bunch of hamburger and macaroni into his mouth with a huge stack of books next to him. He's so excited. And he's just like talking through a mouthful of, uh, food. And we're just watching this. Like we've stopped eating cause this is fucking gross.

Setting a terrible example for a child. Can you please chew with your mouth closed? And he goes, oh, I'm so sorry. Okay. So, Billy and I were reading these books and we found references to some sort of old, like primordial religion. And he pulls one of the books off the stack and flips it open to, uh, pictures of these cave drawings that feature animals of all kinds, all shapes.

Some you recognize, some you don't going into what looks like the mouth of a cave and then stooped human figures coming out the other side. And he starts describing this ritual that is mentioned that being strikes you as being very sad. Similar to the ritual that you undertook to give up your shape shifting and also the ritual you found referenced in bringers of the black flame. Yeah.

So I want to give him the book that I've been reading and show him the similarities between what I went through and what's printed in this so-called fiction. And his eyes are like widening, continuing to widen until they're huge. His pupils look tiny compared to everything else. Are you okay? I just, what are the odds that this primordial religion would have a ritual similar to the ritual that you undertook that is also referenced in this fantasy fantasy? Is that the right word? Fantasy? Yeah.

They call it copper book fantasy. Yeah. This fantasy book. If this book has this much truth in it, even a tiny little seed of truth, that could mean that there's even greater truths hidden within. That's what I was thinking. This is, and he, he wipes his arm across his mouth from elbow to fingertip, leaving a smear of macaroni and beef along the length of his arm. There's napkins on the table. There's no time.

And he takes, he snatches the book out of Ving's hand and he starts running through the cafeteria. That's the first in the series. Ah, nevermind. You'll find it. You see him run to the end of a corridor, skid to a stop and take a hard left. Yeah. And then, a few seconds later, run back again, going to the right papers flying. And maybe like eight or nine hours later, you're shaken from your sleep.

If you're asleep, but Perel comes into your room and is just like panting, holding the book in his hands, goes, come with me. Come with me now. No, come with me now. Do not question me. Do not question me. Come with me now. Oh, my God. I need to ring in a little bit. And he's gone. He's started running down the hallway. Maybe we just stay where we are. Yeah. Billy refuses to get up because he's like, I've, I've dealt with this false alarm a million times. He's gone for like 20 minutes.

And he bursts back into your room furious. But now he's got a huge rolled up piece of paper in one fist that he's basically crushing. And he's just like, you did not come with me. Is Farrah with him? Farrah is like she, yeah, she's behind him. He's sweating like a dog and she looks fine. What the fuck is going on with you today, man? Are you sick or something? Sick with knowledge. He's vibrant. Sean is vibrating. And Farrah walks in past him into your room.

Says, I'm so sorry for the disturbance. Uh, young Perel, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, some references in a few texts that he is quite excited about. And he insisted that I come with him. He's also found some halfling white powder. It looks like, uh, Perel, would you like me to explain, or do you think that you could calm yourself long enough to lay out your information in a way that could be followed by a person with a normal human brain?

As soon as she says normal human brain tuck audibly swallows. I don't know.

Gulp he says gulp when he's full and Perel takes a deep steadying breath and walks over to the little table that you have in your room sweeps everything off of it onto the ground and unrolls the paper that he had clenched in his fist revealing a map of the city of McCall and the surrounding regions and he holds up Bringers of the Black Flame Volume 1 and says this book is incredible it's so exciting I loved the protagonist I love that he says the coolest things when he needs to say the coolest things and then the most touching things when the situation warrants and he's so I just love him how about the Shadow of the Flame oh the Shadow of the Flame the part where he's standing atop the crumbling column dueling with the High Priest of Shadow and the Swamp Witch comes in the Swamp Witch she is so beautiful in my mind that description oof oof Perel did you wake us up for a book review because I hate this Tuck is into it because it's turned into kind of a movie for him now what's the oh man what's the name of the protagonist what's a super like Indiana Jones Dirk his name is Dirk there's another name um Dirk is just the coolest I want to be like Dirk when I grow up but none of nonetheless I cross referenced this book with the texts that Billy and I were reading earlier today and I found something what do you remember when he goes to Sand Eater Canyon and finds the entrance to the ancient temple yes the ancient temple yes Sand Eater Canyon is a real place no what fucking way technically Sand Eater Canyon Sand Eater Canyon Sand Eater Canyon canyon is a real place and it's connected to this greater giant complex this could actually lead us to the temple referenced in these books the temple that we believe is connected to the dark guard Billy inhale with me inhale surprisingly with me wow what happened can I doze off there for a second sorry I fell asleep that's cool so we go there now I guess what what are we still doing here Billy's default is like we're on a fetch quest then okay we'll go there Billy allow me to recap very quickly no very well so if this is real and the dark guard is connected to these dark churches this could be the perfect opportunity for us to begin understanding what might have been going on with the torch of McCall and how it connects to the demons the outer dark everything what do you think do you think that the three of you are up for this I mean I'm down for it I mean Bing's afraid because he saw what happened like he knows that they took you know he he changed forever by interacting with these powers so he's like I don't know man I don't know uh Sarah do we have to you don't have to do anything this information has been provided to the library we could send people it doesn't have to be the three of you oh thank god I turned to Billy and Bing and I'm like guys quick huddle and I pull them in and I'm like I've been so fucking bored the last two weeks I if I have to spend another fucking day in this library I'm gonna go crazy but but it's so nice in here I know I know Billy I know that you don't like being in the sun I don't and Bing I know you like hanging out with Farrah instead of me oh my god is this what this is about but I need to get out of this fucking library I can't be surrounded by nerds anymore or I'm gonna fucking beat the shit out of one of them I bet I'm braver than and stronger and taller than anyone that Farrah could send out instead of us certainly two of those yes definitely taller and smarter so let's go I guess I mean I guess I wouldn't be going back alone I've got you guys I've got family and Perel pushes his head up through the middle of your huddle yep and he's looking each of you he's spinning slowly in a circle so he's looking each of you in the eye and you can see this wild look in his eye and he's like I understand that this sounds like a dangerous mission adventure task whatever you want to call it but I'm not going to do that I'm going to do it I'm going to do it I'm going to do it I'm going to do it I'm going to do it I'm going to do it I'm going to do it this is the closest that I've been to finding an actual solid clue to regaining my magic since we arrived on this continent and if you do not come with me we will no longer be friends you would do that to us Perel?

Yes fine ugh gonna get so sunburned but okay okay I mean we told you we'd help you fix your magic you did I'm in your breath smells like hamburger helper I'm in your breath smells like ketchup and mustard I kiss him on the mouth yes you feel you feel a little bit of resistance but then you feel him give in his hands come up and rest on either side of your face and he pulls away for a moment and says Billy Bing you should leave now no no no no that was a platonic kiss of of flavor of commitment to the quest that we're about to go on I know you've been waiting listeners maybe for times I know you've been feeling the sexual tension for seasons now and we're finally getting the payoff that we all wanted between Perel and Tuck can't wait to see that Perel Tuck hardcore bone fan art so you agree you'll come with me yeah yeah good because I was absolutely going to die if I went by myself you know and he pushes his way through your huddle and goes to the doorway and he goes thank you so much for agreeing to help me now get some rest and prepare he's holding the book up closer and closer to his face so you can see the cover with Dirk on the front with a sword and a gun he has a gun?

Perel's wearing the same fake mustache as Dirk on the cover of the book he turns around this is going to be a fucking thing isn't it yeah he walks over to the doorway he's facing away from you and he's holding the book up next to his head and he says okay I'm going to go to the door rest and prepare for tomorrow and he whips around and he's got a fake mustache on that looks exactly like the mustache of the protagonist on the cover and he says we find adventure and Dirk turns to Ving and he's like was that the was that that Dirk guy's that's his line okay yeah that's his line that's how he starts I was a big fan of this book this might be overdoing it for me you know when they make a movie out of the book you like this is kind of like the movie the shitty movie of the book I like and if this was a serialized TV show at this point this is when the credits would be coming down over the screen as Perel slowly backs out of the room and scurries sideways down the hall out of sight and that's where we're going to end it for this week I've been your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers take care playing Tacoma Dome the barbarian Abdul Aziz so long and playing Fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai bye for now thank you to Aaron Reed for our incredible intro and outro music and thank you to all of our incredible supporters on both the internet and in our hearts you can find us online at Spellore Most Places including patreon.com slash spellore and thank you to patrons Corey K.

And Jansen for submitting the two names that became the name Crosby Dean Haber if you think that you have some cool ideas for names that's something that we've been working into the $10 level on our Patreon through the Discord Hither and Yon channel and we'll see you next week so if you want you can join the Discord join that channel and submit names maybe we'll work them into the show the links are in the show notes and if you like the show tell a friend or give us a review on iTunes see you next time bye and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spell more salute wait wait one second thanks for listening to the show we're all saluting now as is required by law our eyes are lined with dark eyeliner and our jeans are tight so tight held up by a checkered studded belt and our hair is swept to the side and basically glued down with at least a full can of hairspray our t-shirts are tight showing off our muscle-less scrawny torsos that girls our age inexplicably found attractive at this point in our lives our chucks our brins our new yet to be worn outside as inside dwellers and as this song crescends and ascends to its crescendo our eyes stare ever upwards at a flagpole and at half-mast flapping in the black wind a pair of skinny jeans a single tear falls from each of my eyes from each of our eyes the skinny jeans of course at half-mast commemorating the deaths of circulation all over the globe farewell listeners and we'll see you in the black parade at www.patreon.com slash spell or money please check us out on buzzfeed guys we'll see you next time studio audience of myself and paul and abdul and sean I'm here too oops spell lord couldn't happen with the support of you sean abdul jessica and paul ha and all of you if you call now you'll get a gift a gift If you call now, you'll get an official PBS tote bag featuring the last will and testament of Fred Rogers.

The phones are lighting up. And if you write in to P.O. Box 221 Fat Billy Lane, you'll get an action figure figurine of Billy with a croissant. If you push the button on the back, the croissant shoots up. And that was the last known audio recording of Abdulaziz, Jessica Tai, Sean O'Hara, and Paul Oppers. The four were never seen again following their stay at the Airbnb in Beecher Bay, Sioux, British Columbia. Some say that they're still single. Saluting those skinny jeans to this day. Come on!

There's a chicken in here now. Fuck! This song actually fucking rips. Yeah. Yeah. It really does. This podcast proves you can be a disappointment to your parents and still make money. Woo! Dab. But only if you go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore or www.spellore slash money please. Our parents don't love us, but we love you. Trademark Spoutlore LLC 2021. 2021.

That was maybe our best piece of bonus content yeah yeah I just imagined someone watching a murderer with a mask and a knife like you know what forget it psychos are just listening to welcome to the black parade and saluting each other why don't they just unplug the headphones and listen to it all the same time why don't they plug the phone into the headphones why do they have mics out they have a full audio setup in front of them and they're two people choosing to hold an iphone up to a microphone oh this was great guys yeah it was good a lot of great great weekend very good weekend I'm gonna sleep so fucking hard tomorrow

Spout Lore is made possible by contributions from our listeners. If you would like to support us, go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore, where you can get extra bonus special content. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. It was a hectic episode. Flaming barrels arcing over the city, Ving calling upon the water of the oasis to put the barrels out, turning them into harmless 50-pound barrels of fuel. Oh yeah, we didn't really hear about them landing on anyone, those poor bastards.

Yeah, well, because I mean, people were mostly crushed by an enormous wall of water as the underwater river that feeds the spring was redirected and began flooding the town. So, you know, out of the frying pan, into the flood, I guess. And with that, the battle began. Ving fighting the Torch of McCall, Billy being carried away on a river. Yeah, fighting water, I guess. Just chilling, yeah. Yeah, he was just tubing. He was kind of… He was just tubing. Yeah, he was just tubing.

Tubing through the town, and Tuck fighting his erstwhile rival, Fatim of the Lightguard. Drowning each other, and ourselves. Yeah. Billy, ran into a group of Lightguard while vibing out, and was carried on the current back into the square, while also creating an illusion that turned every member of that group into a copy of Ving, as well as Billy into a copy of Ving himself. Yeah, whoops, but not bad, because in doing so, I was able to fight the Torch and see the demon for what it was. Nice.

While also having a flashback to the War of Winter. Yeah, realizing I've fought basically this before. Mm-hmm. Pretty cool. Yeah. Tuck and Fatim struggled in the water for quite a long while. Mm-hmm. Ving did some Jackie Chan drunken master wine drinking to make sure that he wasn't killed outright. Mm-hmm.

And everything ended when Tacoma Dome used the power of Terry, Larry, and Chad to see through his spirit, very vibrational sense like he did on the Purifier all those months ago, to see the true form of Ama Margani within, the truth demon, sacrificing his locket, his most prized possession. Yeah. The only thing he's had for his whole life, kind of. Mm-hmm. Man. But also letting go of a lie, too. Yeah. The lie that he tells himself about who he is.

This identity that he's clung to all these years? Yeah. Yeah. Separating the iconic form of zealotry from the body of the Torch of McCall, whoever he was before, Mm-hmm. And allowing Ving the opportunity to bind him in a saffron-smudged rope, utilizing the power of Cloudpiercer's spiritual form to do so. Mm-hmm. So cool. Yeah. And Billy put Fatim to sleep with his fairy dust and a few other key immolators to calm down fighting in this area, and Ving commanded the water back into the spring.

I didn't pay nature's price yet. Yes, you have not yet. Mm-hmm. And the last thing that we heard was the Torch of McCall whisper the words, Help me. And that is where we find ourselves now. The thing that we would do is take him back to the library. Yeah. But there is still a war going on, or a battle, at least, I mean. Yeah, you hear the sounds of spread-out fighting throughout the town. There are people that are fleeing, but there's the clash of blade on blade, there's shouts.

Is Farrah nearby? She's presumably somewhere. Like, you didn't see her when the fighting started. Yeah. Maybe we take him back the way we came in through the… Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fabric shop. Yeah, that sounds good. I'll grab Fatim if you want to grab the Torch. Got the Torch, yes. And I will… I will lead the way. And I am also there.

Can we stop at the fabric shop and make some silly costumes for these guys for when they wake up? They're like, what? Why am I wearing a tutu? Like, I love what you're thinking, but I think maybe another time. Yeah. That's why you're the leader, Billy. Lead away. Does the fucking Torch have a… Oh, that was something. …sliced neck? Oh, shit, he does. That was a thing.

I think it's the sort of thing where, like, because it wasn't enough damage to, like, kill him straight up, it's like it didn't get him straight on in his esophagus, but he's still bleeding. Yeah. Maybe I just missed all the, like, vital zone. Vital zone stuff. Yeah. And, like, fucking Fatim has, like, a gash along the side of his face because Tuck punched him with the crystal spike. And Billy has a burnt hand. Oh, who cares? Crushed whip pipe. And as you're…

Yeah, you, like, you walk down that side street and drag them into the fabric shop, and you see, like, a couple streets down, a group of librarians, like, chasing some light guard down another street. Mm-hmm. You see, at the end of this street, the edge of town, a fucking huge sandworm, like, as tall as a horse with a member of the light guard on the back of it, like, rip down the street. Oh, Jesus. Crash through the side of a building and go somewhere else.

Yeah, maybe we're, like, dragging them in and we, like, clock a sandworm coming down the street, and we're like, get the fuck into the fucking store right now! Oh, my God. It's, like, everything isn't as organized as it was going to be, but still, every once in a while, a huge, like, fucking ballista bolt arcs overhead and smashes into a building and blows up. Yeah, we're still in a war zone. Yeah. So then, maybe we… Do we have to, like, do a defy danger to escape, maybe?

I think, yeah, just so you're not, like, drawing too much of a threat after you. So somebody roll a defy danger. The leader. Billy's leading the way. Billy's leading the way. That's a good point. You called it. Oh, no. Give me defy danger wisdom. Oh. Oh, shit. Well, that counts. That one counts. That one counts. That one counts, too! Ten! Oh, wait, no. Way bigger. Twelve! Wow. Beautiful. That's our leader. Wow. Okay, I do such a good job.

I'm like, I remember where everything is because I took the river, like, you know, water slide. Right. Don't worry. I know where we're going. I know a shortcut. Move out of the way. There's a sandworm coming. So casual. So casual. Yeah. We are freaking out. Yeah. Billy's just walking and he holds up his hand. Hold on. And then a sandworm crashes through the building next to you and dives underground. I'm like, it's chill. We're here now. Now we can go. Yeah.

So you run into the fabric shop to the secret entrance that's behind, like, one of those folding screens where people get changed behind and something right away that you're like, oh, is there's a lot of residual water like running down the staircase. Oh. Is that the way we came in? Yeah. This is the way that you got up. So like, there's still water kind of pooled on the ground. Like, Ving didn't pull up every like drip drop, but it suggests to you that maybe some water got into the library.

Oh, fuck. Should I like, look ahead or whatever? Oh, yeah, totally. Okay. Trap expert. The stairs. It's a six because it's plus dexterity. Okay. Ving wants to aid. Sure. And I, you know, talk to water and say, what's up? What's going on down there? Nine. Great. So that makes it a seven, which means you get one hold from a trap expert. Is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? Yes, there is a trap here. And the trap is you get a few more meters down this staircase.

It's like a winding stone staircase and you hit water. Oh, yeah. Like this section of this staircase has been flooded. Can I flush it more? Yeah. Totally. Mental master. Oh, God, I'm open myself up to, I still haven't paid nature's price from last time, but here we go. This is nature's price. This is nature's price. Oh, the flooding? Yeah, the flooding of this part of the library is nature's price. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I need to, we need to get down here.

So I'll just, I'll try and create, um, uh, nope, that's too dangerous. Just trying to get it out. Water go away. Oh, there you go. Shit. All right. So that's, you pick two. The effect I want comes to pass, which is creating a vortex that goes out to the side of the stairwell so we can go down the middle. So there's like, yeah, moving water on all sides of us and I will retain control. All right. Pay nature's price. So I start doing this like Qigong, uh, whirling. Whoa, whoa.

Oh, and you're doing it like as you go down the stairs, like whipping it around. Holding one hand and going down and the other hand is floating across the top of it in a circle pushing down. The water is like pushing out and up. Yeah, it's kind of filling in above us. There's like this, like this suspended vortex. In the water as we're going down. Cool. So sick. So that's, yeah, this could fall on us in a minute.

So no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't give it any ideas. Water's like, I could fall on you right now. Are you very careful? I'm going to get you. I'm always careful with you. Water. You're good. Cause I'm saying everybody's like fires the most dangerous, but look out for me. That's right. This water's lame. He seems drunk He's got wet brain. Yeah. Great. So you get down the staircase into the library. Okay.

So Ving is very carefully trying to keep this water from pounding down on you, but you find the end of the water. Thankfully, unthankfully, it ends at an almost solid wall of what looks to be like spongy waterlogged cork. Oh no. Oh no. I mean, can we just smash through it? I mean, you can't cause you have a vortex of water over your head. Is it, is the whole wall cork or is any of it stone?

It's like the staircase is like a, like carved out of the stone of the ground and then it ends at a doorway barely big enough for Chuck to get through. Like you kind of have to duck to get through it, but it's full of cork right now. Basically, this whole, whole doorway is cork. Yeah. And the rest of it is stone. Yeah. Can I smash through the stone with the ax? You could. We're talking about cork here. Is cork really soft? Yeah. I like to call it out of a wine, bottle. Okay.

You know, like cork, like floors. All right. I'll smash the cork door with that. A Birkenstock? Birkenstocks are made of cork? Yeah. Okay. A little bit. It's very form fitting. Chuck's like, oh no, cork. Yeah. I got to smash through this rock or we're going to be stuck forever. Chuck has never drank wine. Okay. You have magic wine in your bag. He didn't drink any of it. It's a screw top. Yeah. Leave it to Dan to make it a fucking screw top. That's a great point. Yeah. Okay.

So let me, let me just like throw my weight against it then to try and like push it through so we can, we can seal it back up behind us. All right. Defy danger strength. Seven. Chuck was almost thwarted by a door made of cork. I slip a disc. I got really fucked up in the fight with Phantom. Yeah, that's true.

I am actually comfortable making, like giving you a debility and strength because, it's that kind of thing where Chuck's like, I got to smash down a wooden door and then he just plows through it and lands on the ground fucking up his spine. All right, guys, I took care of the door so we're all good to go. Why are you talking like that? It hurt my knee. And you come out into one of the side passages that's still considered a part of like the stacks of the library.

So there's shut shut, shutters on all the ironwood shelves in this section. The lights are still on, but less lights than normal, sort of like an emergency lights kind of situation. And as you crash through, you hear a bunch of footsteps like pounding across the walkways. It's just librarians. Oh, okay. They're like, who the fuck is that? And they all like skid to a halt. Fists held high, martial arts ready to go. Whoa, it's just us. They all relax. Okay. Have you seen Perel or Farrah? Who?

Oh, no, Farrah, we know Farrah. Oh. Who is the first voice? Perel, the bald wizard man with the like, the cargo shorts. Oh. And he loves his, he has a collection of mustaches. Yeah, he has, what else? Oh, a lot of hats. He's got Crocs. He's wearing Crocs most of the time. You don't know him, but he's annoyed you. Yes, he has. You must come quickly. There has been a breach. They got in? A few, yes. Fuck. We have the heads of the army. We've cut off the head of the snake.

What should we do with them? We will take them. We will ensure they remain secure. Go. Okay. Should we have wine on the way there? Yeah. We pop a cork of wine and start drinking. We're like, take us to where you need us. Yeah. Oh, that was great. That was really good. One of the, there's like five of them. Two of them grab the torch and fat him and then the other three run with you. And we're chugging bottles of wine. One of the other guys unscrews the bottom of his sword. Like, what?

It is five o'clock. Somewhere. We're drinking, baby. We're in Rome. No, no, no, no. His is not a potion. No, no. It's tequila. So he's just getting fucked up. That guy. That guy. Yeah. He's under a lot of stress. Like, he's got a mortgage and stuff. Yeah. The mortgage is what's stressing him out in this situation for sure. That's the main stress. The war has just put him over the edge. He got his mortgage from his wife who they're getting divorced. Oh, man. Great.

So how much wine do you all drink? Um, I drink half. Okay, so ten. To go back to 21. Cool. I drink one full one to get back to 22. Roll a defied injured constitution, please. I was at 12. Yeah. Damn, dude. Uh, ten. Okay. You're not drunk. I am nicely buzzed. Yeah. Bing is also nicely buzzed because he just drank half a bottle of wine earlier. Earlier, right. Yeah. I'm good. And Billy's I feel like Billy's size suggests he might need to roll a defied injured constitution.

Oh, hey, even half a bottle is way too much. Oh, it's so much. Fuck, Billy's so drunk. Yeah, I got five. So I like, I put the wine away and then I immediately run into a bookshelf. Oh, no, Billy. Billy starts trying to fight the books on the lowest shelf. Come here. I'm like, whoa, came out of nowhere. Just stabbing a book. Yeah.

I like, I like the idea that Billy drinks this bottle runs into a bookshelf as he's putting the wine in his back in his bag and just drops it on the ground and it shatters. So unfortunately, Billy loses the remaining health potion that he had. Oh, that's so funny. And you are fucking blitzed. I'm going to get that bookcase later, though. You memorize the section. I'm coming for you. As we're Gruber aisle five, 200 feet from the course. Work door left hand side of the tunnel adventure fiction.

M as we're dragging him away. He's doing the like pointing at his eyes, pointing at the bookshelf like the bookshelf is looking at him. Oh my God. So funny. And they lead you through the stacks through a couple of the anthill like tunnels and sections to the atrium, like the bottom floor with all the desks that you were studying at before the battle.

I think I remember describing it as like kind of a beehive shape, where it's like really wide at the bottom, but then it goes to kind of a point at the top. Totally. And there, there's a quite a lot of fighting happening in here. There's enough that you see a bunch of librarians, people that would be high enough to be speakers of the silent word tussling with some light guard. And then you see the immolator that you saw upstairs with the two swords fucking mixing it up down here. Whoa.

So there's an immolator. There's a bunch of light guard and librarians fighting and you see Perel in the atrium. Just fucking dodging out of the way, like trying to like put, he's like, he's being chased by a member of the light guard and he gets like behind a table and just pushes the table at the guy. He's trying to keep him away. Perel has found his equal in the light guard and they're just like around the table, around the table.

And the light guard member keeps like swinging their sword like over the table, just hacking into the wood, trying to get him. And there's so much shouting. What do you do? And Tuck, as soon as we get in there and I see the light guard, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, dibs. And he pushes Bing and Billy out of the way. Such a glory hug. And then I turn back. I'm like, you got to fight the fucking torch of McCall. What are you talking about? And so did Billy. What the fuck?

I had to fight stupid phantom. Billy gets catapulted towards Perel. So I guess I'm going to join in. Yeah. When Tuck goes dibs, he accidentally just punts Billy. And he goes, you better take a picture of me Tuck, Billy. What a bad dad I am sometimes. Oh man. Billy's drunk enough to be like, whoa. Who can say that? Just Billy, arms and legs slayed. And then in the middle, the arc top. Little Billy hiccup. Oh man. Billy is so funny as a prop. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's just a living prop. Yeah.

Uh yeah so Ving what's Ving doing there's a bunch of um speakers of the silent word being cornered by like a larger group of soldiers and Ving's going to protect this or help them they're pretty awesome I think there are two or three speakers like between these two stacks of shelves with the light guard coming at them from either side and the one that you see ahead of you between this group of light guard it's just a blur of fists and three of them drop holy shoot and they step back and center themselves I'm gonna fight with honor to grab some hold for this fight coming up yeah oh yeah plus my con I think sweet ten fuck yeah we can cut to uh I guess Billy getting soccer balled towards Perel can I roll to like knock over the light guard that Perel's fighting yeah totally defy danger strength I guess sure I'll aim myself wow not good so drunk so drunk so fucking drunk um also this is my fault no it's fine I yeah you see you're arcing through the air Billy who can say what the moon goes where the wind blows there we go who can say where the wind blows but not at the light guard yeah you're you see yourself going towards the light guard and you're like oh yeah here I come bitch and then they run out of the way to try and get to Perel and you slam full on into a bookshelf can you roll a d6 for me to two damage I'm like a new I see you game bookshelf we meet again my old adversary uh tuck very good you you run forward through the crowd and you see this emulator as you run towards them they're not as heavily armored as a lot of the other light guard they're wearing like dark dark brown leather that's very form-fitting no helmet just a very lean Macallan man with like a sharp nose and really shortcut thick dark hair and a scar across the bridge of the of his nose wow like a really fat scar like it looks like it's either new or was almost fatal yeah he's blocking blows stepping out of the way maneuvering like pirouetting around each other this person is very graceful and very fast and then just before you get there their spin comes to a stop they swipe out both swords and cut down two people whoa you just killed two fucking people yeah oh my god all right I'm gonna run up to him uh and like again it's kind of like the hulk run all of tux runs are hulk yeah it's like slow but then it's like gaining a lot of speed and momentum and he angles the run so there's a table between him and the immolator as he's running he like knees up the table like he hits the table with his knee so it like flies forward at the immolator and then he like jumps and punches through the table to hit the immolator how and can I do a war cry as I'm doing this when you enter a battle with a show of force yeah it's just not going to do like direct damage right away totally yeah war cry war cry that's nine okay seven to nine on war cry what is that on a seven to nine one or the other your allies are rallied and take plus one forward or your enemies feel fear and act accordingly avoiding you hiding attacking with fear driven abandon um I think I was a bit like my allies to take a plus one forward yeah because a bunch of the light guards see tuck do this and go oh fuck yeah uh-oh and I think it makes sense that they get freaked out but the immolator doesn't because he's like a hardened like yeah yeah yeah the chunks of the table that you punch like you shatter this table sending it at the immolator and he turns aside a bunch of the chunks with his swords like it's just like clang clang clang clang clang and he's standing there swords out of the side whoa Ready for you.

Ving. There's three guys. Yeah. I'm going to run up the bookshelf and throw clay from my bandolier in all three of these guys' faces. And then I want to use elemental mastery to bake that clay onto their face. They can't take it off. All right. 2d6 plus constitution. I got 10 plus my one from Tuck is 11. Beautiful. So you've paid nature's price twice since you paid it the first time. A lot of you're pretty in debt to nature at this point. Nature is expensive.

I mean, maybe the price that Ving has paid himself is kind of guilt. Because when you bake clay onto the faces of these people, you can hear them screaming underneath the clay. And it like immortalizes their distorted screaming face into these awful death masks. Yeah. And I say, whoops. Yeah. Like the three people that you put the clay. Masks on and burned like they stumble back and land on the ground with these like rictus grins baked into the clay terror. God. Terror. Yeah. Pretty good.

So yeah, that's the prices. You did this and you're feeling maybe a little unsure about that action. And the speaker behind you start saying thank you. And then seize the faces of the men that you took down and you can see fear in her eyes. And then seize the faces of the men that you took down and you can see fear in her eyes. And then seize the faces of the men that you took down and you can see fear in her eyes.

And then seize the faces of the men that you took down and you can see fear in her eyes. Billy, you slammed into a bookshelf again. Perel still being chased around a table. You're fucking fighting a bookshelf. Perel's now gotten to the point where he's like got chairs. He's holding chairs and he's like kind of throwing them a little bit. Just trying to keep space between him and the light guard. What do you do? Well, I got bored with the bookshelf because it wasn't fighting back.

And I've just made a bit of a mess. Anyway, I turn around because like Perel's doing this thing with chairs. I'm like, oh man. He. He looks stressed. And I'm like, oh no, that's not good. Who's this guy bullying Perel? He looks like one of those jerks upstairs. And so I'm going to use backstab to knife him in the leg. I'm like, how dare you bully my friend? That's perfect. So 2d6 plus dexterity. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Nine. All right. Oh, plus one from ally. So that's a 10. Hell yeah. Yes. Yeah. Woo.

So what's a 10 plus on backstab? Oh, I get it right in the calf and it's he totally falls over. He cannot fight anymore. And then once once he hits the ground, I berate him. The dude drops his sword or whatever. I'm like, why pick on someone your own size? Okay. Okay. Jessica. Yeah. The reason I'm asking is because now you have to choose things from the list. What things? Oh, sorry. You deal your damage. So all your damage. Yeah. Which is a D eight. Four.

And then you get to choose two from the list. All right. So I don't get into a fight with them. And also I'm going to create an advantage for an ally. Yeah. So I give the advantage to Perel. Okay. So Billy runs up, stabs this light guard member in the leg. While they're trying to catch Perel and they scream because they just got stabbed in the calf by this little kid. And Perel runs around because he sees you for the first time. He's like, Billy. Yeah.

And he runs around to that side and the light guard member sees parole running at them and shouts out and swings the sword at Perel. And you know, the like punch moves that you saw Perel doing during his practice. Yeah. And his like they were doing this little like jazz hands in an arc. This like kind of sunshine thing. They swing the sword at Perel.

Perel steps forward, starts doing that little hand twiggle, grabs the wrist, grabs them under the armpit and throws the light guard member over his shoulder. Oh, wow. Sick. And they slam onto the ground and they're knocked out cold. Wow. So sick. And Perel's standing there for a second. And then he turns to you, Billy. He goes, did you see what I did? I did. I'm really impressed. Ving would be so proud of you. I feel so powerful. All right, man. Go use that in another fight.

Perel puts on a pretty thick mustache when he says he feels so powerful. A handlebar goes all the way down to his chin. Billy, what do we do? Let's go help Tuck over there. Are you OK? Fine. What? Nothing. Maybe we should hang back a little bit. You can hang back. Bye. Bye. Billy. Wait. And you're gone. Tuck. Yeah. So I'm fighting the immolator, right? Yeah. I want to just like hack it slash attack. Great. With the axe. Nine. Cool. Roll your damage. Nine. Oh, God. Tuck is so strong.

Such a strong guy. You just swing your axe wildly at this guy. Yeah. And you slice him across like his stomach. He thought that he was able to dodge away from that. And then you catch him. And he doesn't make any sound. But you see him grit his teeth. And then he flicks a couple switches on his swords. And they. Oh, fuck. Fire licks along the length of them. And he does a couple spins to try and disorient you and brings both swords at you. Cutting you across like the arm and the chest.

With his burning blades. Fuck. And you take seven points of damage. Can I? I'm going to use one of my chi to block a blow. Moment for someone. Can I do that? Yeah. And take half the damage. Whoa. I think you might need to do at least one more to cross a distance to an enemy or whatever. Because they're kind of far away from you. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I unused two chi. That's awesome. Sweet. So he's like, tuck. Because he heard that woof. And he's all freaked out about fire.

He's got a little fire thing. Yeah. I'm going to cross the distance and then take tuck's hit for half the damage. So 3.5. So how do you block it? I'm going to just kneel. Like a kneeling. And then Ving in front of him kind of slide in with the spear above his head. Hell yeah. Yeah. Tuck was kind of throwing up balance. So he couldn't like defend himself against the attack. Yeah. I guess you went in so hack and slashing. Yeah.

The immolator jumps away now that Ving has entered this fight and sees Billy running at him, I guess. Is Billy trying to join Tuck and Ving? Yeah, definitely. So he steps back, sees the two of you and is like, whoa, this is a problem. And then sees Billy. And smiles a little bit. Points his sword at Billy. Presses another button. And a gout of burning liquid fires out of the tip of his sword. Billy! And yeah, Billy, you have a torrent of flame careening towards you. What do you do?

I do a sick roll. Hold on. I do it. I see the fire coming because I'm like kind of still drunk. It's like slow-mo. I'm like, I got this. Because he's also so confident. This is what drunk does to Jessica. Yeah. Yeah. So Billy does a front roll. So that basically the butter moth silk cloak will take the brunt of the fire. Sick. Sick. I'm going to dodge that flame throw. Defy danger dexterity. Please. Seven. Roll a D8 twice. Sure. Six. Six. Eight. Eight. Eight.

Because of your butter moth silk cape, you're taking the six. Not the eight. Oh, thank you. Merciful Lord. So Billy runs forward, sees the fire coming at him in slow motion and goes, does a really slow kid somersault in his head. But I mean, to any outside observer, he's moving quick as like an animal, right? Like it's like, but in this set, he's like, here we go. And the fire passes over you, but it singes you a little bit. Yeah. You don't take the full brunt, but still six damage.

Like that's a lot. Bad luck rolling that high on both of them. Like it hits my face, which is already very rosacea. You know, I'm like, oh, but you come out of it and you're safe. He's running, but his hair is on fire a little bit. You can't tell though, because it's red enough. But you're like, is that a fire? He's the torch. He's the Olympic torch. He's the torch. Cut back to Ving Tuck and the immolator.

When he puts his arm out to shoot fire at Bilbo, I want to take my spear and try and go into that armpit area. Oh, fuck. That nerve flex is in there. You use that opening? Yeah. Good idea. I have one more chi. Deal my damage. Oh. Great. Oh, hell yeah. So. Four. All right. He points that arm out to fire that stream of fire at Billy. It's definitely that opening where you're like, oh, bad move. Dude.

And you just dart forward, jab the spear up under his arm, and he grimaces again, makes no noise, but he's starting to get desperate. Uh-huh. So the spear went into the one arm nerve plexus. It's still in there. Yeah. And so what Tuck does is he takes his butter moth silk cloak and wraps it around the other sword. Oh. That's so cool. Yeah, and to put it out. And then he wants to punch him in the stomach after that. That's awesome. Defy danger, dexterity. Like a matador. Four. Seven. And then.

Yeah, then you do the hack and slash. Nine. Okay. So the seven to nine on the defy danger dexterity is you, yeah, you run forward with the cloak in your hand, wrap it around the sword. A little bit of smoke puffs out as you put the flames on the blade out, and the tip of the sword pokes through the cape and just tears it. So this is not wearable anymore. Oh, no. Oh. And you punch him in the gut. Deal your damage. You never take care of the things I get you. Two. Okay. Two.

Not the best, but enough that he lifts up a little bit off the ground and he threw the butter moth silk, just swipes at you with the regular blade. Roll a D8. Twice. Six. And what was that? Two. So the six, unfortunately. Yeah. And he's able to swipe you up the thigh with his sword stabbing through the butter moth silk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He like shakes off after he gets a little bit clear. Billy, you see your dad's full on melee.

You just did a sick somersault. You're feeling more powerful than you've ever felt in your life. Yes. What do you do? So I'm going to, yeah, I'll do backstab using the poison knife to paralyze him at the very least. I'm going to climb up him though. Oh, no. That's so scary. Up his back. Yes. Yeah. Defy danger dexterity. Ten. Okay. Oof. Oof. So again, you deal your damage. You get all those choices. One. One? Are you kidding me? He's actually healed for 12 damage. Wow. No. Bullshit.

Pick your other two options from backstab. Okay. So backstab. I'm going to deal my damage. Wait. I already did that, right? Yep. But you also get to, one of the options is deal another D6 damage. Okay. I'm going to pick that and then I'm going to also create an inventory. Okay. Okay. So I'm going to take advantage towards an ally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. Oh my God. Another one. Wow. A grand total of two. Fucking sick. But at least he's paralyzed. Yeah.

Billy climbs up his back like a fucking chipmunk, jabs him with a knife. And while it's not instant instant, it's very fast acting. So he's slowing down. His actions aren't as precise as they were. And Ving, you see him. He's slowing down. Can I just take him to the ground? I'm going to clock him as hard as I can. I walk up to him very slowly and then just open fists, slap him. How dare fucking you? How dare you? You're hacking slashing? Yeah. Okay. Eight. Deal your damage. Five. Fuck. Yeah.

Clang. But with the seven to nine, roll a D8 twice. Five. Five. Okay. Nice. Five damage. As. As you walk up, as you said, very slowly, he takes one last swipe at you and nicks you pretty bad in the forearm. Hopefully not enough to kill you, but still hurt. And yeah, you walk up and just slap. You said slap him? Open hand slap him. Yeah. Yeah. You catch him on the hinge of his jaw. Like carry it down to the ground. Like trying to just clang. Smash into the ground. Out cold. Out cold.

Billy's on his back. Crushed underneath. I crawl out from under him. I'm like, that was a nice hip bang. Billy. Yeah. Didn't see you there. Sorry, pal. Don't worry, bud. I feel good. Except my face is burned. Oh, man. And I'm wasted. Tuck takes a roll out of his backpack and gives it to Billy because he's like, we gotta get some fucking food in you, guy. Just to like absorb some of that wine. Wow. I start weeping. Are you? What? Because I haven't seen food in hours. I haven't seen food in hours.

I haven't seen food in hours. I haven't seen food in hours. I was like, what did I say to make you sad? It's the sight of food. It's just relief. And you see the speakers in this room take care of the last couple light guard. You see a couple on their knees holding their swords above their heads, just totally surrendering. And you hear a sound from above, like the walkway that rings the second level of the atrium. You hear a whack. And then. Wah!

As a body comes like back spinning off of the walkway and slams into a table. Jesus! Oh, God. And at the edge of the walkway, you see Farah. And she says, I believe the battle is finished. The library is secure. Come with me. Like us? Yes. You three and him. Billy's like, all six of us? There's like a few people on the atrium. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

She's like, Billy points himself like Farah is talking to me. Yes. I'm talking to you. Us too. And I point at me. Yes. You as well. And him. Which one? This guy? You look behind you and Pharrell is there in his low stance going like doing the punches forward. And. Wait. Did you get the torch and phantom secured? Yes. They are secure.

Your prisoners are secured okay do you know where shia has been this whole time I've I've kind of had that in the back of my head I was wondering as like a loose narrative thread it uh well you know it's funny that you say that considering that you just brought it up um after probably five hours of recording now that I think about it I have no idea cut to the sandworms getting taken out by a giant fucking snake oh yeah a huge snake like jump like arcing over sandworms taking riders out of their saddles uh constricting them cutting them in half like this insane other part of the battle that we're like where's where's shia and billy's just drunk and she's like what the fuck where is everybody else she's basically taking out the sandworms alone yeah that's so cool okay so far I takes you to the sandworms to the gallery above what appears to be the library's infirmary in here there are strips of sunstone along the ceiling and it's nourishing a bunch of medicinal plants that grow in huge bushels cool all over the room and then on the level below you there's a bunch of workspace there's desks and tables rows with vials and jars weird little contraptions that have like mechanical parts and tubes that come out of them what looks like thin little like messes metal pieces that you have no idea what they would be for but we would recognize as syringes obviously okay and on two tables are laid out the torch of mccall unconscious and fathom unconscious oh they've got braziers of saffron like burning in the corners of the room that would make sense they would grow saffron there too yes yeah the sunstone uh-huh totally maybe there's a like a bag of like orange liquid that's like feeding directly into the torch yeah like through his nose like a drip yeah yeah going right into it like his belly because billy discovered that that's a method for suppressing demonic influence totally is feeding them saffron cool so there are people like there are librarians working over the two of them uh-huh and you actually you see shia down there too and she's getting patched up oh like she's alive she's awake thank fuck but she's getting patched up like bandages on her arms like she's just got crazy cuts all over the place and she looks up and sees you it is like hey where the fuck were you where the fuck were you I was fighting the battle so were we which battle the outskirts oh that was you yeah oh did you oh so you guys were okay you didn't get like blown up or anything and then we point at the torch and we're like ving did that tuck did that and billy did both we kind of all did that everything that's a good point actually yeah you two like had your adversaries and billy was like these guys are pussies I'm gonna kick the shit out of both of them yeah uh and she looks at them and looks up at you like nice job well done thank you and then tuck starts doing a slow clap because he he feels like this is the end of the episode talk to us no one else does that no one else does that no one else does that does abdul feel like this is the end of the episode no not even close and then tuck looks down at the fucking nerd doctors and he's like fucking clap shia starts clapping like nice work everyone nice job perel steps forward and is clapping yes I did a great job thank you everyone did a great job everybody did a good job and all the doctors start clapping too yay doctors medicine I love medicine saffron forever hooray hooray the library and this goes on for like 25 minutes oh now we're at the end of the episode every time it slows down tuck's like not enough keep clapping everybody tuck needs like this recognition that he uh bested his bully and he everyone's been saying things like hooray doctors and stuff and he's like been waiting for someone to be like and also tuck stood up to his bully it's not coming out of his mouth it's not coming out of his mouth it's not coming uh great so that goes on for way too long and farah just lets it happen she's you know in her head she's like everybody needs this right now this was a tough day but she gives you sort of a rundown on the situation she tells you that the light guard at least the forces that arrived are in disarray many have fled into the desert we have taken prisoners we've taken we've taken prisoners we've taken prisoners we've taken prisoners we've taken prisoners unfortunately no members of the emulators beside of course their leader and uh the unfortunate fellow in the atrium I confess I am not certain what the next steps are outside of rebuilding without the torches leadership there will be a power vacuum within the light guard and the church itself very likely and if the influence of the presence within him is not going to be a power vacuum him has had the effect that you say it has on the city there is no telling what the lack of that influence will do it'd be a revolution or rebellion yeah oh yeah maybe his zealotry has been keeping sort of the masses like down yeah classified yeah pacified placid yeah you're both right most of the people in mccall are flaccid classified it's called the flaccid jewel of the west the you we look back at the silhouette of the lighthouse and it's drooping oh shit we're fucked now oh no he was the only thing keeping that thing hard um farah does say that she says the library has rebuilt before but there has not been an attack oh god I can't remember how long ago she said it happened but they I don't think they've attacked I think they maybe attacked the library once when she was young, but this is the first time it's happened in a long time.

What happened the last time? They were pushed back and they retained power? We lost some knowledge. We lost some librarians. They lost a number as well, and we rebuilt. That's all there is to do now. What about Third and the rest of the Djinn? Do you know where they are? Third, from what I understand, was not present at the battle, which is unusual, but what you tell me of the battle at the hearth itself suggests that there will be repercussions.

From what I understand, Eighth remains in the upper ward in the city, but that is the only other of the Djinn that we have eyes on. The rest are in the wind. Fuck. Farah, um, can we go down and talk to the torch? You can. However, time is still required to gather strength, and I think that we all need a little bit of rest right now, so give it a day or two and he will be ready to speak. Okay. So, a day and a half passes, basically.

The librarians slowly start reopening the shelves and trying to sort stuff out. Yeah, we've just been chilling at the library. Doing, like, fucking fuck all, I guess. Yeah. Getting a rubdown. Having a spa day. Yeah. Hanging out with Cheyenne Perel. Tuck has, uh, every time someone asks him to help with, like, the arduous task of, like, opening back up the Ironwood shelves, because it's fucking hard. It's just like, fuck, right, yeah, sorry, Farah, I just heard her call me, sorry, I got it.

He doesn't want to help with chores. Also, it's a bookworm, just, so yeah, I gotta go answer. What's that, Oman? Yeah, I'm coming. It's just us avoiding chores for two days. Yeah, I've been hiding under slippers, a lot. Just hang, hang. Like, slippers is, like, sleeping, and then I just, like, she's so fluffy, so, like, whenever a librarian's walking by, I just, like, swoop under a tummy, I'm like, okay, they're gone.

Yeah, and you're hiding under a slipper's tummy one time, and you look up under a table, and there's a massive cobra coiled underneath the table, like, shh. Don't tell them I'm here. And that goes on for a few days. Like, you know, a day and a bit, and the librarians are getting frustrated with you, but also, you did take down the torch of McCall. They can't really fault you too much for that. And you have a few days of rest. It's nice. Yeah.

And sorting has started up and gets moving at a pretty good clip. What are Billy, Tuck, and Ving up to right now, a day and a half after the battle? A day and a half into avoiding our chores? Yeah. We're in the cafeteria, um, in disguise. I am under the table with slippers hiding, because I don't want to be, like, asked to sweep again.

And I stole Louise's big hat, and I stole his hat, I put on his thin pencil mustache, I got a mustache from Perel, and I've been walking around with a big wooden spoon. That's the entirety of the disguise. Uh, Ving's dressed up like, uh, one of the speakers. And he's, like, been trying to hang out and, like, just learn what they know and pick up some of these adding to his cheese secret moves. He's been working out with them and getting all their martial art. Cool.

Uh, and after, like, it starts with Billy. Billy, you're approached by, um, Burke, the dwarven librarian. Uh-huh. And he just sees you, and he goes, ugh, and he walks over and grabs you by the scruff. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come with me. And he goes and he sees Tuck and goes, finally, grabs Tuck, goes this way. Tuck goes, oh, there you are. Mamma mia. Come with me now. There's a linguine stew in the back that I have to get it. No. He's just pushing you. No, stop pushing me, please.

I have to get into the kitchen, please. He's moving implacably forward. I don't want to take the garbage out! No, don't make me! Don't make me mop again! I'm so tired. I don't want to sort any more books. This is stupid and boring. Ving! Ving, help us! Yeah, you guys have been pushed towards Ving, and Ving's like, shh. And then, yeah, we're like, that's Ving. If you're taking us, you have to take him, too. Dammit, I was in disguise. Just a library here, Mitten.

And Burke grabs you also, and he's pushing all three of you and says, we have been searching for you for days. Grandmaster Margani wishes to speak with you. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Probably about the chores, but, you know, whatever. Send her in! Move! Stop speaking, please! Okay, fine. Cease speaking! Okay, we won't talk anymore. I am done. And you're pushed through the library to a small chamber.

For real, though, please tell Louise to take that marinara sauce off the- If you interrupt my train of thought one more time, I am turning this whole podcast around. Nobody gets any narrative gratification. And he pushes you to a small chamber off of the medical theater that you watched them tend to, the Torch and Fatim. And there's a gaggle of scholars and speakers of all levels and ages of experience outside. And Burke pushes- He uses you as a wedge to push you through them into the room.

And sitting inside, it's very nicely appointed. There's a lot of beautiful fabrics, tapestry, trees, a nice little lamp, potted plants, and a table slash inclined bed that's made for, like, convalescing patients. And laying in the bed is the Torch of McCall. And sitting in a chair next to the bed is Ama Margani. Yeah. And they're sharing a pot of tea and speaking pleasantly with each other. There's a real sense of, like, whoa. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe there's, like, there's speakers who are, like, jostling at the door, like, there's people trying to, like, scholars trying to jot things down. Oh, yeah. Because they know this is a big moment. They're like, we have to recall this. Yeah. It's two ancients slash demons talking to each other about their shared history. Wow. Yeah. Like, yeah, people being like, wow, the Torch was alive 400 years ago and Ama was alive a thousand years ago. Yeah. Wow, yeah, that'd be insane.

Yeah, you get to the doorway of the room and there's a bunch of scholars all knotted outside. You're like, get the fuck out of the way, you nerds. Some guy's saying, you fucking nerds. Like, he's stenografying everything. Yeah, and actually, Tuck is probably not present enough to think about this. Billy is always over the place, but Ving, you get this sense that, like, you're walking through history right now. Cool. Like, these are events that people will read about for centuries. Mm-hmm.

And then whatever. And there's different parts. Sandwiches in here. Holy shit. Yeah, Tuck's like, they have, potato salad and party subs. There's a plate full of six-inch party subs. And, yeah, Ama and the Torch see you walk in and they smile. You, even seeing the Torch, based on the times that you've seen him before, there's a huge change in disposition. Almost to the point that this seems like a different man. Weird. Yeah. Cool. I like that. Where's Farah?

Yeah, Burke said that the master librarian wanted to talk to us. And Ama smiles and says, Grandmaster, technically, is my title. Oh. Ama. Oh, so… Whoa. I bow. I slam myself into the ground and I bow. Yeah. And Tuck takes his glasses out of his backpack and puts them on as a sign of respect to the king of all nerds. And he says this out loud. Yeah. Ama laughs. It's both… To these old dudes, it's just like, kids, right? Kids are always dumb. Uh, what…

Your Majesty, what did you want to talk to us about? Your Majesty? Your Majesty of Books. I don't know, guys. No, that's great. The king of all nerds. Sorry, king. Continue. And Ama says, please join us. Really? Like, Billy's so awkward, like, thank you. And I, like, edge around. With your knife. Knife out. Thank you for having us. Yes. There is a real flight or fight instinct in all of us. Yes. Yeah. Ving sticks his hand out to shake the hands. Wow. And they take them very lightly.

They're both very, very old men. The torch, though, because I said he was, like, in his 50s, early 60s maybe he looked like. Now that you touch him, there's this very light sort of tremor in his grip. Yeah, so Tuck's like, alright, uh, torch? Do you want garlic aioli or chipotle aioli? I brought you a small panini. Do you want pepper in your potato salad? He smiles when you say torch and closes his eyes in, like, an embarrassed way almost and says, that is not my name. Torch of McCall.

I'm fucking sorry. The gall of this guy. Please, if you, if you would call me Farhan, it would bring me a great amount of peace. Oh, uh, Farhan, do you want garlic aioli or chipotle aioli? Chipotle, please, thank you. Somebody likes it spicy. And I put a little, a small paper plate down. It's got a little triangular press panini sandwich and a little vat of chipotle aioli. A little vat. And then I scoop the garlic aioli out and I just start sucking it off my finger. Gross.

Yeah, and he takes a little bite of the sandwich and he sips some of the tea and Ama sips some of the tea and he says, I'm sorry, I must. This is important. This tea apparently will aid in the suppressing of the influence within me. I would like to offer my apologies. I have not been myself for a great deal of time. We are also sorry because we stabbed you a lot, Mr. Farhan, and I bow. He's got like a like a patch across his neck. Yeah. I can understand why you would. I I!

Hesitate to say deserved, but the harm that came to me was well earned, let's say. But I would like to thank you as well for doing what you did in freeing me, however temporarily, of that influence. How do you know what they're going to do to you? Like, um, do, can we get rid of this?

It forever the demon if sorry I'm really nervous asking you these questions you're doing great thank you and ama speaks up at this and says um it is unknown whether or not one is able to be permanently free of a demonic influence but they are trying research will continue and uh uh arhan and I will be their most prized subjects what did you want to talk to us about the torch actually speaks up and says I have much work to do in terms of convalescence and reparations but something has troubled my sleep I know what the goal of this demon that was the torch was I I thought it was zealotry I thought he just fed off of off of belief that the goal was the journey towards ultimate worship that's what he said he said it wasn't about winning or losing it was about just doing this yes that is true but the demon of zealotry was but a link in a greater chain that seeks to shackle the world how how what do you know of the dark guard in dark of night I have been lost like many who have come before for I have paid the ear chin toll my soul now on my own I have been lost like many who have come before and so I sing for all who fall on darkened streets in no recall till night abates and shadows flee these words my parting gift to thee you you not words nor coins nor sailors go by passage for the ones who bleed so darkness it has come for me for I am one who no one needs on nights that we sleep on the edge of the sea on nights that we sleep on the edge of the sea the moonlight has withdrawn these words will see you to the dawn till night abates and shadows flee these words my parting gift to thee the shadow fears the nighttime sun the child flees from broken stone the darkness shrinks from tallow's gift and yet I wander all alone this story told for all to hear that I am gone but but always near for though I'm lost I am now home with those who whisper in the gloam oh with voices of the ones who with voices of the ones who with voices of the ones who live this song's my final gift to give to night abates and shadows flee these words my final gift to thee to night abates and shadows flee these words my final gift to thee Thank you.

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Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore Spout Lore and we laughed and laughed including fathom who laughed smiling through bloody teeth and pointed up past you oh no yeah the balls revealing in the sky three arcing balls of flame oh god and that is where we find ourselves now tuck you're looking up into the blue sky of the of the dawn day moon sun the days the day moon of the day the sky you're looking into the sky yeah and three balls of flame are arcing over the town what do you do uh I'm like bing water oh oh yeah cool so bing looks sees the the balls coming over the hill fireballs and uh elemental masteries the pond I'm assuming they're full of like explosives or oil or something yeah based on what far I told you in your head you can assume that yeah those are full of like flammable oil yeah it's not baked bread like we hoped yeah and you're probably not yeah oh my god it's rolls uh so you're probably not going to be able to like bullseye three two one knock them all out with water but what I'm hoping to do is uh build a wall of water to pass them through it to at least put them out so that if they land okay oil goes on the ground you know what I mean this is a less destructive all right 2d6 plus con great wall of water nice 10 oh shit okay so on a 10 plus choose two uh the fact you desire to comes to pass and avoid paying nature's price or retain control so I won't retain control it's just water I want the effect to come to pass and I won't pay nature's price all right describe this he sees the flame balls coming and he's like I've got a couple balls of my own and then he grabs the water up and then throws up and circles the barrels and water and um puts out the fire okay yeah so the torch is right in front of you tuck yells bing water you look up and then you go up and You tuck yells, Ving water.

You look up. You reach out towards the pond. Well, the oasis, the spring. And you pull up a huge wall of water. But because you chose not to retain control, so much more water comes out of the oasis than you expected to. It becomes a wall that the three barrels crash through. And then this huge wave slams down, hitting everybody. All of you are battered by this thing of water. Nice. And water continues to pour out of the oasis. I'm really loving it. Yeah, I'm wet as fuck, guys. Ving made me wet.

A bunch of the people fighting, the librarians and the like, a bunch of them are knocked down. They're struggling to their feet. The torch of McCall is unsteady. Billy, you're swiftly… I'm just river rafting. Yeah. That's what I'm doing. You see Billy get carried away on this… I'm fine. He's fine. He's tubing. He goes by like this. I want to be clear to Billy. Yeah. You're like ping-ponging off people that are fighting and trying to struggle up. You're out of control. I'm doing totally fine.

Billy, what are you doing? You're being carried away. I was honestly just going to vibe. I can't just do that. No, you can totally just be like, I'm just going to let the water take me where I'm going. Oh, I don't want to do that. I really… I'm going to try to come back to the middle because I actually feel safer in there. Yes. Where all the killing's being done. Because I'm like, I can fight close up, but those sandworms have big mouths. And I'm a small boy. Oh, no. What am I rolling with?

Well, so what are you trying to do? I was trying to swerve my body with my dexterity. My dexterity. So 2D6 plus dexterity is what I'm hearing. It's 4D6 anyway. This is what Billy is saying in his head. And his mispronunciation is why he fucks. Yeah. I'm just trying to use my dexterity. Dexterity. Dexterity. Dexterity. Slam. Slam. Slam. Slam. Yeah. It's like I'm trying to take a turn in a water slide and I go off the edge. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's terrifying. Yeah.

So you hit a bunch of legs on the way through. You run into like a box that's floating by and you're carried out of the main square like down a side street. You're totally separated now. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Ving. Ving. The Torch of McCall is still trying to fight you. He's soaked. He's like steaming. Cool. That is fucking hot. Shit. I don't know. This is Tuck's internal model. Because the Torch of McCall is also ripped off his shirt and he's got those like old ass like pecs and big abs. Fuck.

Yeah. Look up. If you guys want to look up a picture of J.K. Simmons exercising, it's that but like a Middle Eastern guy. With really nice hair. Yeah. With that like. Yeah. Something that like dark salt and pepper. Yeah, totally. It's not ripped off completely, but it's getting pretty torn. It is drenched. Wow. And he's wading through the water as it's rushing out of the oasis.

You realize that, yeah, there was a underwater river that was feeding this spring and you might have redirected the entire river. Oh, geez. So now there's just a river trying to rush through town. Oh, man. A river runs through it now. No. This is going to get so boring. Oh, God. Anthony Hopkins is going to have a stroke at the end of the day. At the end of this episode. Spoilers. God. For a 1992 movie. Honestly, I've barely even heard of this movie.

I'm surprised that you of all people have seen it. I'm going to go at him with my spear. Oh, yeah. The spear that you finally remember that you have. I have a spear, everybody. Yeah. So, yeah, he was pretty close when you decided to do your elemental mastery. So he's right up on you. Okay. I'm going to leap back, flip back and then lunge forward spear. All right. Defy danger dexterity to get out of his range. Yeah. Great. Oh, yeah. So I have 12. Yeah. You fucking like you barely move.

It's that like anime jump back. You know, just. Oh, yeah. It looks like I operated backwards. Yeah. Yeah. It's that like blur in the air. And then you're just like 12 feet back. So cool. Oh, and there's like the splash is still settling from where I just was. Yeah. All the water on the foot. Now my attack. Yeah. I can slash strength. Great. So I got an eight. Okay. Roll your damage. Five. Yeah. Nice. He's I mean, he's very tough.

It's that same sort of you hit him and it's it sounds like it clacks off like a stone countertop. Oh, God. But he makes that like, oh, and I push I push him back from where tech is. You hear. Oh, you don't see what's going on over there. You do yourself. Yeah. Yeah. You deal him a pretty good hit. He also does damage to you. So roll. So two D 10. Nine. Okay. So he does nine damage. Oh, damn it. Okay. So I think the forceful thing is that you spear him.

He takes the hit and he slides back in the water. The water like parts behind him and he does this like spin where he spins himself along the length of the spear to get in close to you and his elbow swings around and he clocks you right in the jaw. Oh, God. Elbow. Sick. But you take nine damage. Holy. Tuck. This is all happened in the last like four seconds. Basically. Yeah. The water hit. Billy got carried away. You heard him go. Whoa. And Ving and the torch are brawling. What's that?

I'm doing. He's like struggling up out of the water. Oh, I push him back down to the ground pretty hard. You know, bully style. Two D six plus strength. Nine. Nine. Okay. He's trying to get up and you just reach down to push him back into the water. Okay. Okay. And he grabs onto you and drags you down into the water with him. So we're grappling. You're grappling. You feel his like fucking iron python arms start wrapping around like under your armpit and across your neck.

And he's trying to get you in a chokehold. Can I do unbowed and Brent unbroken? Yeah. Brent. Yeah. Dr. Falcon. Dark edge. Appears in the air where I floating above with with wings of blood dragon. Magic. I use the power of Brent Constantine to infuriate my enemies. Is that what Constantine was about? Keanu Reeves with Brent Constantine's face. Do you know this is actually based on me? This is about when I died of lung cancer and went to hell to fight the devil. Yeah. So I'm bound.

I'm bent on broken. Keep in mind. Suggest that you're not fighting back. Yeah. Okay. I get pulled down into the water and then tuck. Instead of fighting back goes with him and pulls fat under the water as well. It's kind of a gamble to be like whichever of us drowns first. Oh my God. I'm drowning both of us. Oh no. My move is to drown myself and my enemy and then hope I can stay conscious longer than them because I have always known that like strength wise we're on equal footing.

Like if we take each other to the ground, it's basically like we're hugging each other until we're both tired. Yeah. And then we fall asleep and then one of us wakes up first, pisses on the other one's head and then walks away. 2d6 plus constitution, I guess. Okay. Here we go. Fuck. Oh. Five, six, seven, eight. Eight. Oh. Plus constitution. Roll a 2d10s for me. Eight. Eight. So you're struggling under the water. There's like sand and silt and stuff like clouding your vision. Mm-hmm.

And you're getting like mouthfuls of dirt and water. Mm-hmm. And you feel at Fatim's arms wrapping around you. You're wrapping around him. And then just a fucking sledgehammer fist pounds you in the side of the face like over and over and over. And you take eight damage as he just goes crazy on whatever he can find. I have one armor. Yeah. So you take seven. Okay. Yeah. What are you guys at? I'm at 10. Whoa. Damn. Damn. Damn. That's like two more hits. Billy, you're careening down alleys.

You don't even really know where you are. You're just trying to stay above the waterline. I'm doing okay. And as you're carried through town, you see a group of light guard sort of reforming. They all look like they're just trying to get each other on their feet and ready to go. And you're heading right for them. What do you do? I just go underwater. Nice. They're probably not going to notice me. Okay. Great. Defy danger dexterity. Eight. Okay. Cool. So they do notice you. Okay.

They see a bunch of stuff bobbing through the water. It's just my little middle finger. It's like two little bird sharks. Somehow they go on either side of them. And you hear them start shouting after you and McCollin. Follow me, boys and ladies. You had an idea. So what's your plan? What I wanted. To do was I want to make basically a second thing to use the torch. Oh, with your fucking create a convincing illusion. Yes. That's an interesting idea. Can I offer my two cents on this?

So you've got this like group of light guard running after you. I wonder if you could use your convincing illusion to make like them look like things to like really like how some merit like draw them back to the square and be like, there's more elementalist. Yeah, that's a good idea. So like really cool. Make them look like Ving and then try and get back to the square. Yeah. And lead them in with you. That's awesome.

Yeah, that's kind of what I want to do because I want to confuse all the fighters and especially the torch. That's awesome. I really like that. The first order of business would be try and get back to the square. Billy's feeling surprisingly good and chill like this whole fight. He's really just been like carrying around an axe and then like floating around. So I'm just going to trust that. The water knows what to do and I'm just going to wait for it to carry me back. I like it.

I give me a 2d6 plus charisma. Oh, no. Thank God. I got four. Wow. That's not good. Very sad. Can I spend one of my holds to resist a failure? Yeah, because I have three holds for today and one of them I can turn a failed roll into a seven to nine. Oh, that's just part of. A fairy child. I thought I changed that. Cool move, John. All right. So I think, yeah, that totally works.

So and this makes perfect sense with the charisma because you're just like you tap into this like however the luck of fairies works. You just tap into the nature of chaos and change and the water starts to carry you in the direction. Like I knew it would. Like you knew it would. I think the seven to nine is that you. Twiddle your fingers and now chasing you is a group of things that all look identical. Tuck. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Pethouse forum. Dear Pethouse. Dear Pethouse.

And then there were six to nine of them. And I think as you're floating down the water, you're looking at your own body and you realize that your arms and legs look a lot longer than they usually do. What? Yeah. You look at your at your body and you're like wearing the same clothes that Ving was wearing when you get here. Oh, my God. And yeah, you've made yourself look like Ving. Oh, no. But like also I'm like so tall. Yeah.

That's the thing is the illusion is convincing enough that you're like, is this my actual body now? So Ving, you're fighting the torch of McCall. You like are, you know, jumping around each other, trading blows and you get turned around. To the point where you're looking at a side street and like seven copies of you run into the alley at the same time. One floating on a current that is separate from all other currents in this river going. Whoa. Going like this. Yeah. Two middle fingers up.

Backwards. Yeah. To provoke the light guard. Yeah. And yeah, there's just like a bunch of copies of you in this area. The water level has seemed to like. Stabilized at around knee height for you. So Billy, it's like it might as well be an actual pool. Yes. There's a thrashing in the water. And every once in a while you see a brown arm or legs stick up out of the foam. Great.

I would like to use my light as a feather to jump back and run across the top of the water and get into the middle of all the things. Nice. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Ooh. Nice. Six plus what? Dexterity. Yep. 11. Beautiful. Great. So he runs, he steps like, you know, it's like up to his knees, the water. So he takes a step like in the middle of the water and then like close to the top. He's like running up like there's stairs built inside the water. Ding, ding, ding, ding.

Till he reaches the top. And then you're just like darting across the surface of this water. Like one of those water lizards. Yeah. He looks like a fucking idiot. Like behind him. Yeah. His hair is splayed out. Like it's like. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And you're. Bleeding from my nose. And you rush towards this. Group of yous. Yeah. Including one that's like sitting in this water floating down. Something. Billy, is that you? You know it.

Oh, the rest of them are speaking McCollin. Yeah. Right. Can I go for the torch? Yeah, totally. Okay. Because he's like, yeah, he's moving forward. He sees this happening. Ving jumps in the group. And I start speaking my best, worst McCollin. Yeah. What? Dundas to a bibliotheca. That's what we're all trying to find, man. We're all trying to find the fucking library. We're all trying to find the bibliotheca. So the torch runs forward towards the group waiting through the water.

Although it's like steaming up in front of him. Like he's evaporating a significant amount of the water around him at any one time. So he's just becoming this like cloud of fog as time passes. But now he does not sure which Ving it is. So yeah, Billy, what do you do? I'm just going to throw a dagger. Yeah. I don't know. Unless you guys, I can't think of anything. Actually, I think that's sick.

Like where it's like Ving disappears into the crowd and then a fucking dagger like just whips out of there. From a different Ving. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. From its belly a little bit. Yeah. Way lower than you would have expected. So yeah. Wait, actually. So I know. What do we think? Because what I was thinking is that because it's not, it did what Billy did, but maybe a little bit better than he thought it would. I think that this is Billy's actual. Yeah. Physicality. Physicality.

So like you're. As tall as Ving. Oh. Like you have his reach. You're bigger than you've ever been in your life. I'm a giant. Everybody get out of the way. I'm going to crush you. It feels awesome. Like the wave carries me and like drops me on my feet and I go into this like loping run. It's so graceful. I've never been so fit and fast in my life. But it reminds you of a physicality that you feel like is a little familiar from eons. Ago. Oh shit. Moving with a grace that you haven't felt in ages.

Oh my God. I do remember and I grabbed my knife like an ancient memory and I know exactly what to do. I aim it at the torch and I chuck it. Beautiful. Cool. Two to six plus dexterity. Oh, so beautiful. It is an 11. Sick. Fucking tight. I aimed it right for his throat. Roll. Roll your dice. I'm going to do damage. Ooh.

Um, the torch is like running through your, you're trying to see him through this cloud of steam that he's creating and you see it below apart and you see his furious face, the fire burning behind his eyes becoming almost like a visible flame. Your knife shoots out and it streaks right for him and you hear him cry out and just and pull back into the fog. This is getting fucked. So there's like fog all over the place. Yeah. I can't even see his face now. But you know what?

Billy doesn't see the fog. Oh. He sees the like the rushing snow, the blizzard. Ooh. The winter warm. Different face. Whoa. What face? It's a, it's a, uh, uh, a Dark Elf King. Whoa. Yeah. So sick. He sees the same dark burning in those eyes and he knows he's fought this before. So sick. Fuckin' sick. So cool. Oh my God. The Dark Elf might've been the demon of zealotry. That's an interesting answer. I think it's a good answer. I think it's a good answer. I think it's a good answer.

I think it's a good answer. I think it's a good answer. The Dark Elf might've been the demon of zealotry. That's an interesting idea too. Oh my God. You could have fought the same demon years and years ago. Oh my God. So sick. But yeah, I like the idea that instead of this like billowing white fog, it's whipping snow. Yeah. There's like whistling wind, like whipping through your hair. So sick. As you descend into this like past memory. Oh, that's fucking cool. Yeah. Tuck, you're drowning.

No, I'm sorry. You feel like teeth bite into you. Like he's going crazy. He's very mad. Yeah. And you actually see like lights like flashing under the water. Oh. As his face like comes in and out of you, you see this pinpoint of light. Oh, okay. Yeah. So Tuck is like, he usually tries to not mortally wound people while he's fighting, but like he's like dying basically. He's been underwater for a long time.

So he, uh, he grabs his ax close to like the ax head and then he like punches the amethyst stick. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh my god yeah okay hack and slash eight roll your damage ten whoa damn yeah you just punch forward you wait until you see this light get closer to you and you just punch forward you feel it connect with something and then you just see through the light like red cloud around you but then you also feel that fist come back in so roll d10 seven yeah and he just fucking hammers away at you again it's like in like your ribs you feel one hit you in the groin like he's just punching whatever he can find yeah he's not dead I just like no name but he said he lets go like after he hits you a few times he lets go okay and now you have the opportunity to write yourself and maybe stand back up yeah I push it when he when I feel his grip slackening I push him away and I go to the surface for like a breath of air yeah you're I'm gonna say you're able to like stand back up fully okay so you just like breach yeah like a whale oh my god Ving you're in the middle of this group of copies of you and where there was just like turbulence in the water next to you this massive form stands up and just yells this huge breath of air being drawn in I'm bleeding so much are you okay no like one at one of your eyes is starting to swell shut oh yeah yeah it's fucking intense yeah but Ving you're in this the middle of this group of you and they're all trying to figure out what's going on there's like a bunch of jostling because they're not sure if one of them is an enemy or not Ving's going yeah what is going on jostle jostle what the heck jostle is this your plan to just confuse them no I take this this moment of jostling to grab a flag and down a bit of my the wine give me a defy danger charisma okay do it slyly yeah pretty much why because I'm just like just be like oh man yeah what's going on just give me a second glug glug glug glug what a crazy day right water water everywhere but not a wine to drink you know what I mean nice I love it Ving is way too good at drinking on the sly yeah oh it's like a fucking like Jackie Chan and drunken master like you're spinning behind people's backs like pulling the wine out yeah like when they're not looking you like get behind them drink some wine get behind them drink some wine I duck underwater drink some wine somehow hand it to somebody they look at it in confusion you punch them in the stomach take the wine I poured in the guy's mouth and then I make out with him suck it out of his mouth clock set for a second he sees being kissing himself and he's like dear house so yeah so I think you heal for 10 hit points great great you guys have magic healing potions right FYI totally we're gonna cut back to Billy's like cat and mouse in the whipping snow so Billy you're stalking through this like whipping snow storm it's flashing in and out of like the hot day in McCall the rushing water and then freezing cold whipping snow and you're trying to track down your your quarry your adversary what do you do okay so Billy would have stalked like the physical torch like the being because he would have to kill him as like the demons vessel but he's also going to like basically commune or like um like basically like corner the demon as well like using his like fairy power because like they are in some ways like sort of like how he can talk to the spirit world there's like a way where they can talk yeah because the way that we've talked about it is it's all connected like yeah!!

And making like clicking sounds and stuff like that to confuse him, like sharpening the knife and stuff like that. Sick. So sick. Okay. So what does Billy say? Like in this language? Don Diaz, the biblioteca. Did you say Don Diaz, the biblioteca? Hi, I'm Don Diaz. The library. I guess Billy is going to say like, I know what you want. You will never win. You will always be searching. 2d6 plus charisma. Nine. Yeah. So Billy, you're stalking through this snowstorm slash knee high water.

And all you can see around you is this billowing white steam and this whipping snowstorm, the wind creating eddies in the, in the air that suggests a shape there. Are they there? Are they ahead of you? Are they behind you? And you hear in response over the wind and over the billowing fog ahead of you. There is no victory. There is only pursuit. This will never end. I will not win, but I will not lose. And then a darting figure comes out of the fog and rushes right at you. What do you do?

Grab a knife. Grab my little like paralyzing knife. Oh yeah. I jam it in their gut. Ooh. You take the hit. Yeah. If this, this is the thing is they're coming right for you. So if you're, if you're letting them get close, he's going to hit you. That's fine. Yeah. Fuck. Hack and slash. Or I guess it's, I guess it would be since it's a, like you're letting him hit you think that he surprised you. You're it's a backstab. Probably. Okay. Um, so it's dexterity. So it's seven.

So it's a seven to nine on backstab. Um, choose one. So you don't get into melee with them. You create an advantage towards you are an ally acting on it. Ooh. Can I create an advantage for Ving? Yeah, totally. Like it's basically like whoever does something next, we'll get a plus one. Cool. Yeah. That work. Yeah. Okay. Cause you're in the spirit area, right? Like this, this zone in between. Yeah. I'm letting out a lot. Cool. Okay. Billy roll a 2d 10. Okay. Okay. Not six and nine.

So you take nine. That's our Billy. You take nine damage. Oh man. We all got walloped. Yeah. This dude's fucking brutal. Um, but yeah, this figure comes rushing out of the fog slash snow. You see flashes of the grizzled face, of the torch of McCall interspersed with images of this dark elf King that was killed thousands of years ago. And he rushes forward and a hand locks around your neck and crushes down on your windpipe.

You feel something break in there, but you jam your dagger up into his chest and the victory in his eyes turns to panic as he feels this venom coursing through his flesh and he lets go and stumbles back through the fog, bringing this, this billowing cloud with him as the image of this white steam and the snow storm starts to recede in your memory. What do you do? Um, I don't try to catch it. I'm just standing there. Something happened in my neck. It was really bad. Vang.

Are you, you were heading over there too? Yeah. I mean, uh, with the, the connection feeling with the spear, you know, and seeing Billy go in and out of this, getting these little flashes of him, I mean, between clouds and snow. So I enter into the cloud. Let me, let me just give you an image. Cause I'm curious about this. As Billy's Ving body leaves the cloud, you see a flash of what Billy was all those eons ago. What does he see for just a moment? What do you see?

Oh, I see, um, what looks like a man made of wood. Ooh. And then it's just Ving. Tuck. You've breached the surface of this water. There's a, a group of Ving, Ving's everywhere. Have I seen the conflict between Billy and the torch? You see this huge cloud and you saw Ving run into it. Oh. And me, I yell Billy as I go in. So, you know, the Billy's in there. Okay. Uh, so I'm like, well, everyone's in that cloud. Party time. Let's hot box this book. Yes.

The more time you take, the more time you're giving Fadim to jump out of this, this water. So he, uh, he sees like two things go in and like, he knows that Billy's in there. So he's like, I have to fucking get in there and find the torch. And he's had this like plan kind of percolating in his head ever since he read that demon book and talk to Alma. So he communes with his acts using for the blood God to try to do the same thing that he did on the purifier when he saw the, the true form of Alma.

Where he sees the true form of the torch. Right. Because Alma told you that whatever you did with Terry, Larry and Chad separated the human and the iconic form. Yeah. He said it was like painful. Like it was ripping a shell off of a crap kind of thing. Yeah. It separated the demon from the human form for a second. Right. Okay. This makes sense. Yeah. What a nice payoff for a thing that happened like two seasons ago. Oh yeah.

So that's what's going on is tuck is running into the cloud and trying to use Terry layer and Chad to disrupt. Yeah. He's trying to separate the demon from the man. Okay. So for the blood God, you are initiated in the old ways, the ways of sacrifice, choose something, your gods or ancestor spirits value. When you sacrifice those things as per your rights and rituals, role plus wisdom on a 10 plus the GM will grant you insight into your current life.

And then you can, your current trouble or a boon to help you on a seven to nine. The sacrifice is not enough and the gods will take of your flesh as well. Keep in mind that the sacrifice is usually destruction. Yeah. Yeah. What can I totally destroy in this cloud area? So yeah, tuck stands up from his like brawl with VATM. He rips his amulet off and crushes it. This is the sacrifice. Cause it's like, he's, he's kind of overpowered FATM and it was FATM that like threw away his amulet.

Originally it's sort of like letting go of like the lie that he was still connected to his past and he like tosses the bits down at FATM and he starts running at the bank of bug. And like it's that Hulk run where it's like slow at first and then he picks up speed and then he starts to commune with TLC and here's the role. Oh God. Uh, six plus wisdom. Oh, Holy shit. Whoa. Uh, plus wisdom is zero. So that's 11 still. Yeah.

And it's like, as like literally the second he hits the bank of fog, his vision changes to like that, like spirit vision that like TLC gave him on the deck of the purifier. Yeah. Sick. So you can still feel and see the fog as you run into it, but it doesn't obscure your vision, which is a very strange feeling because you're looking through it, but you're looking through it and you see the torch tattered robe struggling back body, like locking up in this paralytic poison.

He's like almost thrashing his body's like intermittently lighting on fire. He's coughing up flame as his body tries to purge it of this venom. So I forced the spirit energy into the torch and I want to see, uh, like do the same thing where I want to see the man inside. Mm. Hmm. You see the thing that you see before you, this thrashing man covered in flame, but no fire. He's just a old man and he is in extreme pain.

The bursts of flame that he was letting off, uh, have started to burn away the fog and you see on either side of you, Ving and thing, but, but we high five above your head, but through your spirit site, lent to you by Larry, Terry and Chad, you see little Billy inside this Ving body to your left pillow and your friend Ving on the right. And I see like burns on Billy's neck. Yeah. You see like a, like seared handprint around his little throat. Like in home alone one. Yeah.

He's got the, he's got the M of the McAllister doorknob burned his throat chakra. McCall. Exactly. Um, yeah. And you see this old man thrashing in front of you. Yeah. In extreme pain. Oh wait, do I see the demon? Oh yeah. Sorry. I'm trying to figure, okay, what does a demon of zealotry look like? The two demonic forms that we've seen are the truth demon, which reflects your own personal truth. And then mercy. Yeah. Who was also a, like a humanoid form.

I don't know if zealotry is going to necessarily have a humanoid representation. It's a fire. I was thinking, or something flame like. Yep. Fire, like clouds of words. Like music. Like it's, it's like sensations. Like you can hear hymns and chance, like overlapping tiny tasteless cakes. Little crackers. Maybe like, it's like, it's picking up the beliefs of everyone in the area. And like you're hearing and seeing and tasting representations of them.

It's like, like you said, this floating cloud, but like very similar to the truth demon where it was like your personal truth. Hmm. Has an influence on it. Like the people that are seeing it have an effect. So Tuck has a different idea. Yeah. Billy sees a different thing. Yeah. That would make a lot. Yeah. Can we maybe do a quick sort of truth demon thing where you each say what you see? Yeah, sure. Okay. So Tuck, I see Billy and Bing. Oh, interesting.

I see the scene in hither and yon where it was chimes, Billy, Ving and mirrors and tuck. Oh, cool. Like eating stew and joking around. That's the thing that he sees. Is this the thing that would whip up a fervent zealotry in him? Yeah. It's this thing that he would tear the world down for. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. What does Ving see? Hmm. Ving sees a multifaceted chimera. Ooh. Like just almost like every living creature together in one being. Cool. And there's some little sprigs of it. Yeah.

And there's some little sprigs of trees and moss and things, flowers, lily pad feet. Wow. What does Billy see? Billy's kind of like somewhat close to nature dim. So I don't know if he'd really see anything. Yeah. I see fire, I guess. Like kind of like where is all the tree might have come from. Like one of its like more earlier forms. Oh, like primordial religion where people like in the early days they worshiped the fire.

They worship fire and eventually like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and eventually like consuming what was given to it or what it could find wasn't enough. So it began hunting. Totally. That's awesome. And under, underneath all these overlays of the iconic form that you're seeing. Yeah. It's a struggling old man. He's been separated from this iconic form and his body is in shock. Is there a way that I can. Grab the demon with the rope.

Oh yeah. Yeah. I think so. Ash four with my saffron rope and try and at least tie the chimera down. Yeah. So 2d6 plus dexterity, I guess. Should I elementary master a horse out of steam and then go in like a cowboy? I mean, yeah, that's an option. Oh, there's a firebird. Yeah. I was wondering. I was thinking that, yeah, the bird goes up in the… I mean, I can't tell you what this bird does because you have control of it. No, no, no. Dude, describe it. Yeah.

I mean, I just wanted Cloudpiercer to come back in this moment, but he's not there physically because I don't have control over him, but I'm still connected to him spirit wise. Yeah. I don't think that you… I don't think it's a… Him. You don't have the animal companion move or whatever. It's still functionally the same thing. Cool. He's coming to you because he considers you as having called him. So I even like the idea of you're in this cloud of fog.

I'm in this cloud of fog and I'm running towards this chimera as much as I can, fast as I can. It seems to be getting… Like… I'm not getting any closer. Yeah. I feel this rush of wind pushing from behind me as I'm lifted off the ground and there's Cloudpiercer spiritual embodiment underneath me, picking me up and zooming me towards him as I lasso cowboy style this chimera demon. Fuck yeah. Great. What would you say lasso is? Dexterity? Yeah. Ten. There we go. Ten. Yahoo! And what is…

What does Cloudpiercer's spirit form look like? Is it the firebird? Yeah. It's a firebird. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Fire and lightning. You know, like when a horrible volcano goes off and then there's lightning coming out of fire? Yeah. It is terrifyingly that. Fucking sick. Fucking cool. So yeah, this like firebird that you summoned earlier is melding with the spiritual essence of your thunderbird friend. Yeah. My spirit animal. Cool. Cool.

And the saffron rubbed rope whips out in front of you, wraps around the body. You have this old man and latches tight. So would this keep the demon from getting back in? That's what I was thinking. Yeah. I think it might be because he was separated since the influence was disrupted. I think it locks it in that disrupted form. Okay. Oh, that would make sense. Sick. Like it's not fully latched on to this man's body anymore. Being tied up the man. Yeah. So the demon can't get back in there now.

Right. But it's not like out yet. It's kind of like wavering. It's like hanging on the edge, right? Like it's just outside. So yeah, the rope cinches tight around this man's arms. Yes. And then Ving jumps off and stabs the spear in the ground behind him. Like he's holding him like tethered to the ground. Yeah. Stuck in the ground. Cool. He is wavering there on his own two feet for a second. And then he just falls to his knees in the water and the fog dissipates.

And you just see the town square of Elaine Springs clearly. Water still rushing. But this old man defeated in the currents. Billy, do you think your illusion is still holding? No, I'm done. Okay. So are the light guard warriors just looking like themselves again? Yeah. Because I think commuting with the demon took a lot of below and he just can't hold both illusions. Yeah, that totally makes sense.

So what you see if you glance behind you to where the other warriors were like, oh, I wonder if they're still doing it. Is you see them all splayed out in the water like somehow. Half up, half out, some fully underneath. And Fatim pouring blood from his face like panting over top of them. Oh, wow. He fucking killed them because they look like Vang. He came out of the water. He didn't see Tuck, but he saw a bunch of things. Oh, my God. You don't know if they're dead because he's unarmed.

Oh, right. But they're fucked up. Whoa. Mangled. And Fatim's on his last legs, too. Like he looks like he's barely standing. I think I would like. To go up to Fatim. And I guess I'm just going to like take his hand and put him to sleep. I'm going to use my fairy dust. Yeah. To make him fall asleep. Because I feel. Yeah. Billy feels really bad for Fatim. Yeah. I think he's in like fight or flight mode, which for him is fight mode. But as you approach him, he's doing that.

Like his breathing picks up and he looks like he's not sure what to do. And he's not speaking. He's just like deliriously angry. So fairy dust. Roll plus charisma. To put people to sleep on a 10 plus. Choose two on a seven to nine. Choose one. Please. Oh, so that's nine plus two is 11. Okay. Amazing. So on a 10 plus. Choose two of these three. It affects a group of people. They stay asleep for a good amount of time. Or you can do it from a distance. Oh, I. Well, I've already walked up to him.

So yeah. Choose the first two. So he stays asleep for a while. What if there is a group of the emulator still fighting? If you have the power to just shut the war down. This battle. Yeah. I think I might try that. Yeah. I mean, not all of them. Yeah. We said it was like six-ish people was a group. But if it was. Shut down six emulators? Emulators. Shut down all your Game Boy emulators, everybody. Super Nintendo emulators. We can't play Paperboy right now. So yeah.

This little boy is bobbing along in the water. Kind of moon hopping with the depth of the water around you. And yeah. You take Fatim's hand and he flinches for a second. When you grab him. And then he just huffs out this huge breath and sits down on a box and leans against the wall of the building that he's next to and falls asleep. I pat his hair. And you see like an emulator at the mouth of some alley fighting somebody. You raise your hand up to them.

They fall asleep and you put out the most dangerous people that you can see in this group. And the fighting is starting to quiet down, at least in the town proper. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. You've got this old man. Yeah. You've got this old man. Yeah. You've got this old man. Yeah. You've got this old man. Yeah. You've got this old man. Yeah. You've got this old man. Yeah. You've got this old man. On his knees. Tied up. What do you do? We don't. This is kind of above our pay grade. Yeah. What to do?

Do we take them back to the library? I think we have to. I think we should see if we can take the injured too. If like the librarians can help carry people. Yeah. So Tuck picks up Fatim to take him back to the library. He feels pretty bad about what he did. Ving, something I will say is the town is still kind of flooding. Like this spring is overflowing. It's still overflowing. Yeah. Like it's a river that's been rerouted. Yeah. Okay. I would like to try to commune with the water to go back.

All right. Elemental mastery. Is 10. Oh, fuck. Okay. Sick. On a 10 plus you choose two. So I will choose the effect comes to pass and I retain control. Which means that you pay nature's price. I pay nature's price. Okay. What does this look like? It's like Billy puts everyone to sleep and starts shutting it down. And there's men like struggling who can't stand up and they're gurgling and drowning and all this water and being just quietly like, let's have a big, huge breath.

And then breathe in really deep. And all the water starts flooding in from the sides of town and going back into the oasis. Wow. And leaves behind muck and people. Yeah. They're dead soldiers are on the surface. And they're like, settling onto the, under the, into the mud. Yeah. Yeah. There's definitely some dead bodies revealed by the, the water receding into the oasis. Jesus. And you hear like a whispered muttering coming from the torch McCall. Uh, I get close.

It's in, it's in like old McCallan. Wow. I listen. I think I can use Bart, Bartek expert. Oh, that would apply. I think. Uh, well, okay. So there are two things. And I'll say, as you're picking up dice, it's not a movie that you need to roll for. And it's the thing where you just ask questions when presented with a thing that is connected to your topics. Okay. So you can just listen with your ears. Okay. I use Bartek expert to listen with my Bartek ears. I use Bartek ears. Can I use Bartek ears?

Um, and you listen close and you hear this like breath rattle out of him. And he says, help me. And I think that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master. Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always has been playing Ving, the half elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. Playing Tacoma dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long. And playing fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica tie. Bye everyone. Thanks to Aaron Reed for our incredible intro and outro music.

Thank you to all of our dear supporters, the world round for supporting us online at Spout Lore, most places, including patrion.com slash Spout Lore, where you can gain access to all of our Spout Lore. And you can also find us on our website, Spout Lore, access to bonus content, side games, including spelt more Mall Brats, video content, video content. We do streams on the discord, which you can join in the show notes. There's a link in there. Outtakes intakes. You could get merch.

If you join the patrion. Oh yeah. Exclusive merchandise. Check out our Twitter to see what some of that looks like and other things. But yeah, join us on the internet. 1994. Join us at Spout Lore. Dot web. It's. Dot com. Don't go to dot web. There's nothing there. Our ICQ handle is spelt. Dot lore. 69, 69. At aol.org. Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll catch you next time. Bye. Bye. And so ends the tale of adventures. Three. Who tried the best they can. Dumb and scared and lost. They be.

For times of rest in. Rivalry. And though our journey. May be. Lying. A conclusion. We will not leave you. Without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you. I'd gladly. Spelt. More.