Tag: Comedy Podcast

Spout Lore is only made possible through the contributions of listeners like you If you would like to donate, please go to Spout Lore dot com slash money, please or patreon.com slash Spout Lore Uh, and if you go there, you'll get a bunch of bonus content too, which is nice.

It's good bonus content I work really fucking hard on it Now the round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz Hello everybody Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers Hey, how's it going?

And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hello everybody When last we left our heroes, they confronted the elven agent of the Sun Peaks Known to us currently as Hiddleston Yeah Elf Hiddleston Elf Hiddleston Ving laid down to rest When Deliari Deliari of the Ranger Corps And the fight continued between Tuck and Hiddleston Billy helping with the aid of a lash and lasso made out of roots Tuck was poisoned as the knife was jammed deeper and deeper into his body With each attempt at hurting this elf Until they were able to restrain him And Tuck chopped his arm off with Larry, Terry, and Chad Wendy's beaver cat showed up Attempting to attack Billy before Ving commanded it to do so To cease And Shadowpa receded into the shadows promising vengeance Before getting lost And Desperately trying to find the way out The party then turned their attention to the man hanging from the roots beneath the tree A variety of discerned realities and spelt lores took place In which they realized that yes, indeed This is Dathaniel Vang Zumba Who has been interred beneath the tree For potentially years And that the one impersonating Dathaniel that Ving spoke to that they met at the mouth of Adarnac Allwater's tower must have been the Gibbous man in disguise.

I thought we were really getting somewhere. We had that therapeutic session in the cave. Yeah. I'm going to need so many therapeutic sessions based on that one failed therapeutic session. All trust is gone. Yeah. Oh my god. They also attempted to figure out methods by which they could break the Gesh knowing now what they know.

The helper, the McCallan magical item, the tiny little metal dwarf, aided in removing the vines from within and without of Dathaniel as Billy created a protective fairy ring for the very first time. Cool. Sealing out any potential influence from the Outer Dark or the Gibbous man and creating an area of safety in which the party could transport Dathaniel who has an obsidian arrow lodged in his heart into the fanny pack to speak to some of the finest magical minds of their day.

Billy was able to spy into the mind of Hiddleston, finding him out to be an agent of Solara Van Curen, de facto queen of the Great Forest and leader of the Sun Peaks, who gave Hiddleston both a blade and an obsidian coin. Her true connection to the events is currently unknown, but she is most certainly in cahoots with the Gibbous man in some fashion. Man. But good news, guys. The demonic influence has been removed from the heart tree. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's a good place to start.

And we learned which demon it was. Yes, the demon of greed. Uh-huh. Yes. Mm-hmm. Which has used its demonic hunger, its want to corrupt many, many souls within the forest as well as the forest itself. Billy, maintaining the protective ring outside the fanny pack by himself in a quiet moment, heard Hiddleston choke to life long enough to tell him that he knows you're here. And that is where we find our heroes now.

I imagine the scene that we open on after that revelation is Ving bursting through the door into the fanny pack with Dathaniel in his arms. Clearing off the table with one hand. Yeah. And Morris and Perel were having dinner. Like a nice candlelit dinner. Yeah. Morris is feeding Perel like a chunk of beef stroganoff. He cuts the piece of spaghetti that they were both having in their mouth. Yeah. No time for this. No time. You're both a tramp. Ving does more damage than he needs to.

Like, he starts kicking over, like, sheds just nearby. Like the bar. I go over to the mantel place instead of painting on fire. All while holding his frail dad. I don't know what to do. My insides match my outsides. He's been holding this all in for so long. He's saying, help, help, help, stay away. Help, stay away. He kicks over like a bucket with champagne in it. Yeah. Every time somebody gets near you to try and take Nathaniel, you kick out at them. Get away from me!

I hand him over, I take him back. Somebody help me. Get away from me! Don't touch him! And you lay Nathaniel out on the dining room table, a shattered spaghetti dinner, laying in ruins around you. As Perel and Morris are standing back with their hands in the air basically letting this happen. And Perel is like, who? What is this? This is my father. What? This is… The corruption at the heart of the forest. He has a demonic influence through the means of this arrow in his heart.

If we remove it, he will die. Is there anything you can do? And in a moment of confidence and surety that you are not used to seeing from Perel, he approaches Nathaniel like a surgeon. He walks up and starts looking at the wound and feeling around. And you see him close his eyes. And he looks up. I can help him. But it has to be now. Pick him up. Come with me. Do it. And… Doors flap open. We cut to you in what seems to be an infirmary of sorts. Cool.

Through a corridor that you have not yet utilized. And there is like a table and arcanical devices of mysterious make and model but things that look like they must be used in a medical capacity in some way. We're in an interesting place here in that it is technically quote unquote medieval but also magical. So there are some things that are going to be really easy to do and some things that are going to be really hard to do. But thankfully you have a magical transmuter on your side.

He directs you to lay Nathaniel out on the table sort of in the middle of the room and wheels over a couple of devices. One of which has like a big rubber hose and then like a fat needle on the end of it that he like slides into Nathaniel's arm. Weird. And it immediately goes like It's got like little bellows. Yeah, exactly. It's got little like two little bellows. That kind of move in concert with each other. So cool.

And he gets Morris in here and starts telling Morris what to do and he turns to you and goes, we need some time. Tell me what I can do to help. What do you need of me? We need you to just stay calm and let us work here. I offer this and I give him the dwarven piece of metal. Oh, sick. Yeah, which is yes, flipped back into its bar state. Whatever you ask of this, he will do. I have named him Dwarf the Rod Johnson, which is a name I just came up with. Yeah. Thank you. We'll see what we can do.

Wait, I have something I need to say to him. Discern realities to see if my dad's conscious to say something to him. Okay, 2d6 plus wisdom. Great. I got 10. Okay, so you get three questions off discern realities to see if your dad is awake. What's about to happen? I am going to attempt to stabilize his body with parts of his organs having been missing using magic while removing the arrow. Okay. Yeah. Should I be on the lookout for you see that he is breathing while they do this?

Although it seems like his breathing is stabilizing whatever they're pumping into him seems to be quieting him down, but his eyes are fluttering like he seems to be semi-conscious. What? Here's not what it appears to be. Hmm. That's a good question. Okay, so you suddenly realize a few spoke to the gibbous man. He showed you a vision of Nathaniel's past. How did he have that information? And you realize the arrow being in his heart and obsidian being a conduit to the outer dark.

He must have been seeing like the truth of your father's heart like he had access to everything your father ever knew or felt. Oh, that's why he was playing me through my dad. God, gross. And Perel at this point goes, Ving, you need to leave. I take a moment with my dad and I whisper into his ear. Either way, I'm here and soon you'll be free. And his hand twitches on the table. I leave. And the door closes. Tuck is on the other side. He's gonna go in the hall. Ving cries.

And Tuck is like waiting there for Ving and he just gives Ving a hug. Yeah, Ving hangs onto that hug longer than usual. Yeah. Billy, back on the stoop. Hiddleston has just said this to you. He knows you're here. You are forced to remain out here to maintain the fairy circle, which is a totally new thing to you. The creation of these circles. But yeah, what do you do? Could I try to like learn some stuff from Hiddleston? Yeah, totally. Okay. Can I throw him a vial of golden root? Mmm.

And basically be like, I know you're not well. This will make you feel a little better. Like I feel kind of bad for you. Yeah. Then defy danger charisma? Yeah. He's in a lot of pain, so he might be willing to do this. Eight. Eight. Um, I throw him a vial of golden root. Uh-huh. And I say, uh, we really liked you. We really didn't want to hurt you. We really liked you. Um, I'm sorry. So you throw him. Sorry about your arm. Yeah.

You throw him this vial and he's like laying there and it like hits him in the chest, like pats against the doublet that he's wearing. Yeah. And rolls down into the dirt. Oh. He's just like, you must think I'm a fool. I'm a poison, a young boy. I don't just drink things handed to me by my friend. Suit yourself. Billy pops one open, drinks it himself. Whoa. Can I use wealth and taste? Oh, that wealth and taste move that you, aw. Do I still have it? I'll check. Oh yeah. I just don't have it. Okay.

Yeah, so he's like, I mean, I don't feel very good right now. So I think I'm gonna have one too. Okay, so that is also charisma. Smart. Thirteen. God damn it. Oh my god. Yeah, you, he was willing to hear you out with the seven to nine. But with wealth and taste he like sees you drink the vial. What is wealth and taste? Can we have, what is that?

Oh, so wealth and taste is when I make a show of flashing around my most valuable possession, they will do anything they can to obtain your item or one like it. Great. Yeah. So he like sees you drink it. And I'm going, mm, mm. So good. Picking up rocks. Wow. So good and tasty. And he licks his lips. He licks his lips like a parched man. And then he like, Billy flexes his biceps and he's like, oh! I feel so powerful and strong now. And then he starts doing, he starts trying to do a push up. Wow.

How far does he get in the push up? He gets on the ground. He goes down. Yeah. And then he like looks slowly at the guy. Yeah. So Billy fakes, he does a, he does like, half a burpee. Lays down. And he burps. Yeah. Yeah. Incredible. And uh, Hiddleston licks his lips and then with his good arm, well his remaining arm, reaches for the vial, pops the top, and drinks down the liquid. Yeah and Billy's stretching on the ground. Feeling better, right?

Well considering the circumstances I suppose I feel just fine. Yeah, that's, I mean I'm glad to hear. Um, you know, maybe while you're feeling okay, we can talk and keep you awake until we get some help. I think I would like that. Nice. I would like that too. Um, so uh, tell me, uh, Billy's like, shit I didn't think this would work. Also, I love it cause Jessica keeps looking at me so conspiratorially where she's just like, look at what I'm making this guy do right now. What an idiot.

So when you say uh, like, he knows we're here, like, what do you mean by that? What do you mean? I think you know what I mean. Okay, well tell me, tell me like pal to pal, like, is he like on his way? No. He's not on his way. I simply want you to realize that there is nowhere that you can go that he will not be aware. But now he knows that you have seen what he's capable of, and he directs his hand to where Dathaniel was, that there is nowhere he cannot find you and no one he cannot reach.

Um, other question is we're getting to know each other. Oh, well, uh, moving on. Um, so, like, what made you want to side with Wendy in all of this? With Wendy? Hm. I do not work for that ranger's scum. Well, who do you work for then? I work for the highest of the high, the noblest of the noble. Her eminent Laura Van Curen. Nice. And what do you, what is she giving you for doing all this? Like, this sucks. Your job sucks. This sucks. Your job sucks. And you look fucking stupid today.

And you're ugly and your clothes are dumb. And you smell bad. Why is, why is Solera doing this? Like, what's she getting out of it? I think you might have to work for this one a little bit. You might have to, cause he seems very like, well, we're friends now, small one, but I can't. Of course we're friends. It is a poor gambler that shows all his cards. I can tell you a secret if you tell me your secret. That's what friends do. Ooh, parlay. Ah. Oh, yeah, parlay's great. 2 to 6 plus charisma.

Nine. Nine. So that means that he needs, you need to tell him something right now. A real secret. A real secret? I'll tell you a secret if you tell me one. A real secret. I had a bad dream about one of my dads. Tell me more. Just, it seemed really real. What was the dream? It was just a bad dream. It was just like a dumb, he was just chillin' under a tree and then it caught on fire and, anyway, that's it. I don't remember anything else. Anyway.

And the camera would see as Billy, like, I don't know, and looks away that his eyes, like, dilate a little bit. Whoa. When you say that. So what do you want to know? What is Solara getting out of this and like, why, why is she helping him?

You feel, again, that he's like, trying not to tell you this, but something about you think the way, now with like this fairy ring that you've created and sort of the, um, the flux you've been feeling with like your current self kind of pushing against, like, you know, like becoming your winter self in Hibernia and touching into these other parts, like, something about your connect, like how you asked this question seems to be compelling him to tell you the truth. Ooh.

Like I've, I'm like doing a trade right now. You made, you made a deal. Yeah. Yeah. You made a deal. You're like shifting into your, like, some murphy that like are the deal he wants. I guess would be the next step, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I told you a big secret, so now you have to tell me a big secret. And that's how friendship works. So, Lara Van Kieren isn't working for the Gibbous Man. Okay. She's working with the Gibbous Man. Oh, how so? You have to tell me, cause I told you.

And when Billy says that, there's like an aspect of him that shifts into winter. Oh, yeah. And it becomes like, Evil? Angry? Or if that feels right. Oh, yeah, like little, yeah, I think so, like, it's like, His influence grows? Sounds like kinda creepy, but like, you know, like in a horror movie when a little kid gets like kinda angry? Yes. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's like not just a kid having a flip out. Yeah. You can see like frost crawling along the ground as he gets angry. Yeah.

She is… And he, this is where he like, you can feel him straining to not tell you this. You have to tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. So, Lara Van Kieren is a warlock. Warlock. Whoa. Whoa. And he kinda falls back, and you can see that, like, the golden root that you usually see, like pupils moving and stuff, contract again. Oh. And he goes, You trickster. And he passes out from strain. Oh, hope they're done soon. Uh, cool. So then I guess we cut back inside.

What are Tuck and Ving doing? Um. The page brings you like a glass of water. I slap it away. I say, bring me a glass of water. I'm so sorry. I'm a mess right now. What is this thing that you do that when you feel uncomfortable, you treat serving staff badly? Why do you keep doing that? Does that happen? You do that so much. It's because I'm trying to portray the monster that I feel inside. I'm so sorry, page. I'll get the water. What do you want, page? Just paper rustling.

I just hand him a love and love. I like thinking his little paper mustache like bristles. Yeah, is there anything Tuck and Ving are doing or discussing in here? Or are you just waiting? Yeah, we went to the observatory where it's like, you can kind of like see a fake version of the outside and there's like a telescope and stuff. Yeah, so you're standing in like the bell of the observatory.

There's a intricately made telescope pointing at a leather sky that's about two feet away from the telescope. Yeah. Is it a real sky kind of thing? Nah, it's painted pretty like, lively. Yeah. But it's, you know, like big exaggerated stars that are all in the position that the constellations actually are, but very clearly hand painted. I guess Tuck in this moment, he's like really worried about Ving.

Cause Tuck is aware of how much Ving doesn't think about his dad and his mom and how much he's like avoided it all these years. Yeah. And Tuck is like aware of like the death of a parent and like how much that can impact you and really fuck you up. So, yeah, he's just really worried about Ving and he's really worried about Billy too. Cause he's just like, he's aware that we're under the tree and we've literally considered setting it on fire for like five minutes. Yep.

And he can like feel the end of the road. Like in this moment, he can feel the steps that are left running out. So he like wants to make sure that Ving is okay. It's like almost like he has a terminal illness kind of. And he's like seeing Ving having a hard time. Yeah. And he's just like, I gotta make sure that Ving is okay. So that Billy's okay. Yeah. So that's what's in Tuck's head. And then Tuck says, those stars over there look like a dick in balls. Talk about night moves.

And then he does the, puts his finger inside the hole. And then Tuck goes, ha ha ha ha ha ha. He laughs in such a sad way. Aww. And you hear a at the stairs. It's Morris. What's up? Your father is stabilized. Is he conscious? Is he awake? No. But we're going to continue observing him. Perel will continue working on him. But for the time being, he should be safe here. Can we see him? And then he turns to Ving. Do you want to see him? Ving just walks out towards the medical bay. Yep.

Cut to doors open. Your father is on the slab. Asleep. Machines hooked up to him. Pumping away. Perel is there and he's like leaning against a counter. Very tired. Whoa. I walk up and I hug Perel. He hugs you. He's got a bottle of pineapple juice in one hand. Is this for your cum? Trying to replenish my electrolytes, alright? I don't know if it's in pineapple juice. I'm not a fucking doctor. Thank you very much for what you did here. I'm happy I could do anything. He's alive. Where's the arrow?

It's over here. And it's like in a he takes you over to a bell jar that the arrow is like standing in. The tip is on the base of the platform but the bell jar encloses the arrow. I'm going to pick up the bell jar. Careful, careful, careful. I'm careful, I'm careful, I'm careful. And then he does that thing where he goes, oh! Drops and catches it. Perel spills a bunch of pineapple juice all over the place. And Tuckos, is there something special about the jar or what? It's just for presentation.

Uh, I didn't want to touch it. It's not like anything I've ever seen. It's certainly not magical. It's something else. Hmm. Could I discern realities on this arrow? Oh yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. 2d6 plus wisdom. Nine. Nine. You can get one question. Do you know the one that makes the most sense? I know that he got a nine. Yeah, he gets one. Oh, right. Wow. I'm a fucking idiot. We were both staring at Abdul for like a minute.

Tuck got distracted cause like he was looking at the bellows machine and he was like, hey, check it out. It looks like it's pumping my balls full of stuff. Jesus Christ. So Tuck was just totally distracted. Yeah, totally. And he was like, oh, what? You guys are doing stuff over there. 11. Okay, so you get 10. What it here is not what it appears to be. Uh, yeah. So this arrowhead, you look at it now and it is like a napped obsidian arrowhead.

Like the edge has been you know, knocked away with tools in the old style. You would guess that this is much more dangerous than having a coin. The fact that it was the wound that allowed your father to be regulated in that way suggests that even nicking yourself with this arrow would probably be a huge problem. Ugh. Yeah. Is, are there any runes on it or anything or is it just an arrowhead? No. Yeah, it's just an arrowhead.

You hold it up to the light and shines a really, really, really puts like, cranks it up to 11. Sunstone light, thank you. Yeah. Puts it in front of a sunstone light. And what question are you using on this one? What should I be on the lookout for? You see what you imagine at first to be imperfections in the obsidian but resolve themselves as a constellation. Ooh. What is about to happen?

Okay, so knowing what you now know about the gibbous man and his connection to obsidian and obsidian's connection to the outer dark, you would assume that this would allow some aspect of perception on his part. Like he is in some way connected to obsidian. You also know that he is contained in a certain way. Thanks to Lillian's curse for all intents and purposes a bajillion years ago. But you also this is another like connecting dots from previous knowledge sort of thing.

If he is wanting you, basically like if he wants to stop you from stopping him, why didn't he come here himself? Why did he send you and stay behind? Why was he in Vigil City but no further? Like he basically left you to do his thing. And then you realize like why was he corrupting the tree in the first place? And you realize it has to have been the tree that was keeping him away. It was keeping him out of the forest.

And by corrupting the forest he could enter Vigil because that was the furthest edges of the corruption. But it hadn't been able to reach the tree itself. Holy shit. And that was that's consistent with like everything we've said about like all of his moves were about like removing sources of knowledge from the material plane. Like he got the Hibernians to shroud themselves in the grey so they couldn't see the sky. The skies himself he can shift his appearance. Yes.

Hiding the true knowledge of his being. Yeah. And he like he's obscuring the runes. Like he's trying to hide information. And information brings enlightenment. And enlightenment keeps him out. Yeah. He's just really trying to pull the dark over everything's eyes. Like bring about total darkness. Because I think there's probably like a functional thing of like if no one knows what the fuck's going on. Like all the wizards are gone. Like historical knowledge is shattered.

Then he's free to do whatever he wants. So it's like a functional thing. But I think also like the more literally in the dark everyone in the world is. Yeah. The like more he can do the thing that he needs to do. He can like smash all the realms together and get back to where he needs to be. Which leads you to another question. Why did he tell you to come here then? Yeah. He wanted us. He was telling us to fix the tree. He was telling us to cure the tree.

Well he was telling you to change the runes. Right. And he said that that would fix the tree. Yeah. He didn't take into account that we would fuck up so bad. That we ended up like literally face to face. Yeah. With Dathaniel. Yep. Which might have been why Hiddleston and Wendy moved in. Yeah. So it. And why they failed because it was a last minute plan. Exactly. This could be a very interesting piece of evidence that maybe he fucked up. He attempted to lie to some idiots.

He tried to use us as a tool but little does he know we're the biggest tools of all. We are a bunch of useless tools. Tools. Um. Is it a good idea for me to use bardic lore to try to discover the connection between him and obsidian? Like use bardic lore gods and their servants to see if there's a connection between obsidian and the night sky?

Cause the thing that Tuck is thinking now is if he's exerting power through the obsidian coins like it could be a thing where those are parts of his chains. You know what I mean? Well they contain a piece of the. I just saw a constellation in it. So there's something to do with it. There is a constellation. They are small pieces of the night sky. Like what if they are really yeah like actual pieces of the night sky. They're pieces of the night sky. Actual chains. Yeah. Yeah.

And remember the giants thought the night sky was the outer dark. Yeah. Like maybe what Lillian did was made the night sky tangible like she created obsidian kind of and it tied him in a physical way to the material realm. Oh and then I wonder if like when she brought the brooch that was like opening it up. Right. It shattered the sky. So it started like letting pieces of him through. That's very cool. If it's true. Could be. I think that this would be a Spout Lore rather than a.

I can't use bardic lore on it. Please. John. My character's really worried about his family. So you're using bardic lore on obsidian. Is that what we're saying? My guy's gonna die. My guy. You're playing a video game. My guy. Yeah like your instinct. Cause I don't have an expertise in obsidian. I have expertise in gods and their servants. I'm asking about obsidian. Yeah. That's a stretch. Yeah. So Spout Lore's fine. 2d6 plus intelligence. And Sean if this doesn't work.

Wait can we use sounding board? Oh yeah. Yeah I think so. Alright should we do this? Let's do it. 2d6. I'm gonna Spout Lore on this fucking obsidian. Then I buy you. You roll my bond? Yes. Okay. Here we go. Well that's a 3 so. Oh no. There's no way I'm succeeding. No. I got 7. Aw man. John. My guy. What a bummer. Yeah. Fuck. It's fine. I had a whole idea. Fuck. The lead up to that was awesome. Well who knows maybe we can ask it again. Later. Later. At another time.

So we're gonna do it in the you don't get what you want in that the answer is something you do not want to know. Which is you have to assume with Ving being like oh that must be how he knew about the death of my mother and like the war was by like using that obsidian as a conduit to like know Dathaniel's past to aid him in his deceptions. And then you're like I guess it would make sense with like the eye carvings. The gibbous man must be able to perceive through obsidian. Oh what?

So all this time you've been carrying around the eyes of the gibbous man. No. In your chest. In my chest? And you have embedded in your chest pieces of obsidian. Can he still see through these? You have no way of knowing. Can he see through them when they're white? Cause the ones in my chest are white. You have no way of knowing. Fuck! Spellore! We're at a point where we're gonna cut back to Billy probably. Oh okay. I just wanna check in with Billy basically. Yeah. Cause I mean I know your goal.

Hiddleston has passed out. Yep. He will be of no further use to you right now. And I'm not gonna betray the strength of the fairy circle. You are safe in this place as long as you stay out here. I guess I just wanna check in with Billy and see what he is doing. Is he doing? How does he feel here in this dark horrible place? Well Billy is having uh he's he gets bored so fast. Uh huh. Um so he uh was telling himself ghost stories for a bit. Like campfire stories.

So he like piled some pebbles into like a fake fire. Yeah. And he's telling himself stories. But you know how Billy sometimes like they can be really funny and sometimes they can be really scary. Yeah. He accidentally was telling himself scary ones. So then he got too scared and he's like. I thought he was the funny one. He's like I'm fine. Everything I said was made up. So he's just talking to himself. Yeah. Um and then he was like I have to find something else to do.

And everything is pitch black. Well not pitch black but you know there's nothing to look at. Um except I guess the roots. I could try to read the roots. Oh yeah. One down here. So he's but he can't leave so he's using his bilnoculars to try to read what's on the roots. Yeah. Of the tree. Okay. Cool. Very cool. So sick. When there's nothing left to do you read. You read a book. Reading is the last resort. The bottom of the barrel and stuff to do.

My options are to stare into the blackness or read. Or accidentally read. What have I become? His imagination betrayed him this time so I read. So what is this subject Billy is interested in learning about? I guess it could be like about the gods of nature. Cause we're learning that the natural world does have gods. And how they manifest and interact with our version of the world. Yeah like has this ever happened before? Oh yeah. Oh. Right cause this tree's thousands of years old. Right.

It was probably planted before the grieving. Oh yeah definitely. It's ancient. It probably has like information about like other civilizations too like you know like the giant myths and like everything else. We've really only talked about the giants but. Well I think it's because the giants were the original people. In the world? Of the planet. What? I thought we talked about this. I think so cause they were like the builders. What about before them? Let's rule Spout Lore.

I feel like I've said too much. I like that. In the middle of the tree of the rings there is like a few dark rings. Where the outer dark was more present. You know what I mean like. Yeah. There's a black ring. If you were gonna cut this tree down there would be one of the rings that was black. Yeah. And it grew within this darkened area. That's cool. Yeah. And there were runes from that year. Totally. So plus intelligence what'd you get? I got ten. Oh wait no. No I got eight. Oh thank god.

Son of a bitch. Fuck. Fucking ass. So it's interesting but not useful. Keep in mind. No. This is no. But I mean we can talk about the subject. It's just it won't be necessarily useful to your current situation. Jessica's so pissed off right now. Jessica hates not winning. She does. That's what it is. Wow. You want to win. She's just like I'm gonna read it into her hoodie. You're a natural born winner. And there she goes. Oh and her headphones. Her headphones. Priceless headphones.

Okay well I feel like I should probably say more. Now she looks like Clover. She looks like we're playing with the girl from the ring. Take a picture. Jessica look over here. That's what you look like. This is the reaction to a partial success whereas I have failed 99% of all. Of all of my roles. Head held high. Right so something that I think we have danced around is the fact that McCall, the McCallan Empire which I think maybe we'd oh I think Abdul and I maybe just discussed this.

McCall is the original word for the empire of giants. Ooh. Neat. Ooh. I don't remember this conversation at all. You rarely do. Do is it also okay you know how we've never named our world? Yes. That's why I thought you were gonna say that. Is the world like named like Maka or something? Oh yeah. And the giants were the original inhabitants of the planet. They were the first civilization. That we know of. That we know of. That's cool.

But as far as the elves are concerned the giants were the first. Whoa. They spanned the globe. They were great builders and great in the capital T capital G sense. The great builders. Sorry I just had a thought. And this is why their bones were obsidian because they were crafted from the sky. Oh yeah. They need to be made of something. Yes. Yeah. Was that what you were gonna say? The origin story.

They were basically yeah they were basically as far as the tales go the reason for their obsidian bones is they were basically the children of the night sky. They were Gibbous' children? Kind of yeah. Whoa. The elves believe at least in terms of folklore that the giants were created by the gods. Wow. Cool. This is fucking sick. I like that. I like that that means the sunstone is originally in opposition of the obsidian. The sunstone we had said that they used it. Yes. To commune with the sky.

Yeah. Cool. It was opposite but not in opposition. Yeah. You need it all. Exactly. It was part of the balance. Of the world. Yeah. That's sick. And living giants are different than obsidian. Uh huh. Um of course bones are different than rock. Yeah. Though they have the same properties in this respect. The death of the giants led to an imbalance in the influence of night. Yeah. Because as more giants basically became stone. Yeah.

That influence of like because we say the Gibbous man is the god of the sky. Yeah. He is the night and the day. Oh. But the night began to outweigh the day with the death of the giants. Like in his aspect he became more night than day. Totally. And I mean this is more like um myth than it is anything that matters. You know what I mean? It's kind of color. And it does not answer the question that you guys were asking. So let's talk more about what Billy might have been interested in. Yeah.

Because I have a feeling Billy would see like ancient giant empire and would be like boring. Yeah. His eyes would glaze over. Yeah. Okay. He would think about McCall and be like oh so sweaty there. I'm moving on. He just sees the name McCall and is like yuck. His thighs start getting pimples on the insides of them. No, no, no. He learns the true nature of the planet and he's just like so hot. And then moves over it. Can't help it. He's just an idiot. Yeah.

But he is looking for the Gibbous man I suppose. Right? Yeah. Was that poem again that you like made up last episode or the episode like last recording? Oh yeah. Chains Broken became Chains Forged. Uh huh. When Moon threw off her yoke. Uh huh. And Father Night was cast away to walk among the folk. So Chains Broken became Chains Forged. Oh. Maybe he, so his thing is he needs to go back to the sky. Mm-hmm.

Maybe he doesn't realize that him casting all these obsidian coins everywhere is what's, he's locking himself to the material plane. Oh. He's anchoring himself here. He's doing it to himself. He's doing it to himself. The more he asserts influence on the material plane, the more he anchors himself here. Yeah. So we can use that against him. Yeah. So it would make sense then for like those coins that turn white. It's actually helping him. Oh.

Like where it's like if you cast off the, the knight off it. Yeah. Yeah. Then it's just, you know, piece of stone or glass. Yeah. It basically like takes the part of like the outer dark that's within it, the piece of him. Uh huh. And it like gets rid of it. Yeah. So it releases it. Yeah. It's like the spirit of it if that makes sense. Yes. Yeah. Which is why the demon is trapped in white obsidian. Cause then it doesn't have that like transmission point anymore. Yeah. Yeah.

So it's stuck in the physical coin. Yes. As opposed to being like a conduit from the dark. Yes. Yeah. It's, it's basically like closing a door on that demon. Whoa. Which means the gibbous man can't watch through those. It's just the demon in there. Ah. Cause it's just walked now. It belongs to earth. Yes. Yeah.

And it also means that if the gibbous man wants to undo the thing that he's done to himself in like reclaiming all of the pieces of himself that he's had to plant in the world to exert his influence. He's gonna need a thing that can shatter all these fucking coins. TLC. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Cool. Cause I think Bill Lee came upon a story of like um, like it's like an old myth story like old, very old and it talks about like the eyes of the spider and stuff like that.

And like the spider's web and things like that. Yeah, I like that. And the web was so large that the spider like he couldn't protect his web on his own. Like it was too big for him. He had eyes everywhere. He had eyes everywhere and so he had to grow more eyes and take parts of himself to place eyes everywhere. But like all it did was like. Make him more vulnerable. Make him more vulnerable. Yeah. Whoa. That's really cool. Fuck. That's a great parable or whatever. Thank you. That's sick.

That's fucking sick. And that makes so much sense too that like maybe he wants TLC. Because the first time that Tuck like smashed a coin was in McCall to stop the demon of ambition. And if he can see through the coins up until that point he must have been like what the fuck was that? Yeah. And then was like I need to find those people. Uh huh. Interesting. Cause that was kind of when like that was when the Medjai started coming after us. Yeah. That was when. When things got really hard. Yeah.

Yeah. Got dark. Yeah. When the narrative entity that is the end of the story saw us for the first time. Interesting. Totally. And I think I bet the Gibbous man would have taken it as like a threat to his like safety. Like if your sight's cut off you're like whoa what the fuck. Like that's automatically a threat. But really it's it's like that's what he needs. But has he realized that? That is beyond what you would know. Okay. Does he know that he if he had TLC that it would help him free?

We would know. There's no way for anybody to know that. Uh huh. But the fact that Billy realizes that the coins are actually chaining him. Like he is chaining himself in trying to expand his influence. That's huge. Yeah. So interesting and pretty useful. Fuck. But more so interesting. More interesting. More interesting. It's so much more interesting that it is useful that it's basically not useful. Like I can't use it to make myself dinner right now. So it's so not useful. That is a great point.

Anyway thank you guys for helping. That was awesome. That was really good job. I fucking love it. Huge world building. And the spider story. The spider like removing his eyes to like oh that's so fucking good. I'm pleased with that. I love how there's like a little connection to that like that myth. The spider and the hummingbird. Yeah. Like the scorpion and the frog. The scorpion and the frog. Yeah. And the spider myth that Abdul wrote for the Almanac about like prophecy.

I thought that was an intentional connection. Oh no. I was thinking about like the scorpion and the frog. Then it's a perfect like. Wow. Yeah. Oh it's so good. You know the thing where like sometimes in myths gods are good and sometimes they're bad and then they morph over time. There must be like some interpretations of like those like progenitor myths where it's like oh the spider was gibbous. Like but like others where it's like no that's like a completely different thing. Oh yeah.

It's just now they refer to it as gibbous cause he's the modern god. Yeah. Well it's like real like dude like god. The Christian god. Yeah. Yahweh was a war god. Uh huh. In an old like Babylonian pantheon. Whoa. And then so to those people he was the god of storms. The god of war. Uh huh. But then to his cult he was the creator, the protector, the one that defended all. Cool. Yeah. So that's what you learn. What do you do? Um Billy's like I need to tell Ving and Tuck about this like right now.

So he's like what do I do? So he starts coughing and farting. As loud as he can. Tuck just took another one of those coins off Hiddleston and walked into the tent. What an idiot. We're so stupid. He's been collecting them for seven years. You cut to Tuck and we're in the medical theater and I'm like freaking out and saying the same thing or I'm just like fucking stupid collecting these fucking coins. Just dumping them in a garbage can. Stop pointing them at me. Everybody's running away.

He's like Ving you gotta take the coin and Ving's like get it away. Morse is like trying to shut all the doors to hide secrets. Get these fucking outta here. They're throwing them into a fake sky. And he grabbed the bag of coins and the axe and I'm like I'm gonna solve this forever. And he starts running to the danger room and he's gonna try and force them all out of existence like he did that one time. Wait the danger room doesn't exist anymore. Oh right.

Cause it's like a where it oh right cause you guys are in the danger room. Okay so then Tuck takes his axe and slices through one of the walls of the tent to try and find the extra dimensional space. Oh no. Tuck. Um. Did you just break? Oh no. I can't do escape route. Where did you cut through? Uh I think. You're in the medical area?

I was in the medical observatory but I imagine Tuck running back to the observatory and you know how like there's a night sky over the balcony but it's actually just two feet away. Oh no. He tries to just slice into the night sky and like shove the coins in. And then he can Billy's outside farting and coughing and yelling. When he realizes that the coins are a problem. Yeah. Yeah totally. Uh. Ah! Ving! Tuck! And then Ving's stuck between Tuck doing this possibly destructive thing.

Oh my god yeah. And then uh fart coughing. And Tuck does hear that. He hears Billy screaming and he stops. Uh huh. Billy runs in and he's like I called for you so many times. No one answered me. It's so scary out there. Oh Billy. And then Tuck drops the axe in the bag of coins and he goes to Billy. Are those the coins? Billy we found out that these things are the gibbous man's eyes. I know. I found that out too. Wow really convenient. I know so convenient.

So I guess a thing to consider is that he must know about the fanny pack and about the wizards and about all that stuff. Yeah. So maybe Billy tries to like do it in like code like shhh. I don't know what it can see. We have to hide those. Yeah we Tuck that's not for we've already had enough dinner. Yeah. You've had enough dinner. It's time to put the napkin on the plate. And then Tuck goes I was trying to put the napkin in the toilet room.

Morris do you know where there is something like a toilet room that can hide our napkins? What the fuck are you on about? Shhh. Secret time. And he looks around all over the place. And Billy trips like in quotations with like his cloak and like drapes it over the coins and he's like whoops. And then we all get really close to each other. Yeah. We bring Morel in close. Morris and Perel? Morel.

And they well Perel is still in the operating theater with uh with Dathaniel but Morris gets his little whiskery face in there. What the fuck is going on? The gibbous man can see out of those. Oh no. The coins are the spider's eyes. I don't even know if the one in my chest he can see out of or not. So we have to talk in code. Is that what we're doing right now? The napkin is the coins. The toilet is some liminal space where he can't see out of.

Are you saying that the gibbous man can see through the coins we've been getting? Shut up right now. The gibbous man that I want revenge on? Shut up. Yes. Yes. And you will not get revenge. And he looks to the coins. No. And he starts walking towards the coins. No touching. Oh no. Fuck Morris. Morris. What? If he knows what we're planning we can't get revenge on him. You can get your revenge but not now. Alright. We have to get out of here. Where can we hide these that he won't see?

And I tell him, I'm like Morris one time before we found this when the danger room was still like toilet room. When we were shooting. Is this the first that he's finding out that it was our toilet room? No. He's familiar. I shoved the coins into one of the coins into that space. Yes I'm familiar. Can I, is that a place that they give us man cannot get to? I suppose. What about the safe behind the painting? That was between worlds. What safe behind what? Oh you already know about my safe.

Sorry that's a reflex. Wouldn't that be somewhere that exists in many places and no places at once? The safe. The safe. Yeah the old safe. Would that keep it safe? Keep us safe from him? That's what it's designed for. Okay yeah let's put it there. Alright. And he picks up, he just moves over the cloak, picks up the coins, throws them over the page, just goes put those in the safe and it runs off. So I mean keep in mind that all of my work was designed with humanity in mind not the divine.

So there are considerations. One, he's a god. Two, Tarka's coins in his chest. Three, he's a god. Okay so on number two, do we think that the coins that are white he can see through? The story said no. Okay that's good news. That's good news. So you simply have a demon of some sort in your body. Mhm. That's bad. No big deal. NDD. That's whatever right now. So are we in um, I don't know I assume that we've left the forest or something? We're in a safe place?

Um Smash cut like we cut to the outside where there's no people and we see the mycelium of the fairy ring starting to recede Oh no. Back into the soil. Oh shit. Oh shit. Um we gotta get out of here you guys. We don't have much time. I shouldn't be in here right now. Okay. Billy runs out. Okay. And closes up the tent. Okay. And does Billy just like start packing up the tent? Yeah. So nobody Wait. So you close up the tent with us inside? Yeah.

I think you might have to explain to us what's happening. Oh sorry. Okay. I gotta guess I would hear you guys. And the fastest way is if I go alone. Are you saying that you wanna find Elmin on your own and just take us in the fanny pack? Yeah. If that's okay. Do you think it's okay? Yes. Do you know you can do this? I know I can do it. And I know at worst I'll open this up again. That's true. Yeah. Tuck is so apprehensive.

Like it's like this is like letting your kid go to the corner store for the first time. Yeah. To get you cigarettes. Yeah. Okay. I will mark Billy. Ah. I'll use the mark of the animal. I'm gonna use the eyes of the tiger to mark Billy. That's great. That is very good. You will be removing the mark you have on Maugath. That's okay. That's fine. This is basically like putting like one of those air tags on a kid. Yeah. Totally. Basically. Yeah. I tie it into his shoelaces. He's at the gas station.

I don't know. Yeah. He's been at the gas station for like six hours. Okay. And then Tuck is realizing that he's the mom now. Yeah. Fing realizes that he's the father now. He's like, you'll be fine. What could go wrong? He's gotta do it alone at some point. Okay. Billy, if you have things I have to tag around you, I trust you. Billy's like holding out his hands like waiting like, okay, I'll do it. Do it fast. Do it fast, Fing. I'll give you a hug and kiss on the cheek. Aww. The kiss.

The kiss is the mark. That kiss is the mark. It's the only clean part on his entire face. Yeah. Fing's lips are so dirty now. What the? Well, I did like dunk my face in blood earlier. Yeah. Right. We have not cleaned that up. Yeah. Billy, if anything happens, you open the fanny pack right away. Don't even cough, fart, yell. I won't do any of it. I'll do it real fast and quiet. And Billy emerges from the fanny pack. The last of my my little mycelium wall is receded. Yeah. Okay, be brave, Billo.

And I roll up the tent and wrap it around my waist. Billy, is a child. Yeah, I'm not doing well. Attempting to fold up a complicated tent. Oh, yeah. So it's like, it's like coming down like, you know, like it's still kind of puffed up. It's like just folding it like, I don't know how they do it. Oh my god, Morris is freaking out. No, no, that side folds in. It doubles over. We're inside and we can see like stuff happening. Like little hand prints. Yeah. Like rooms are changing size.

Is he putting it in his mouth? Why is he putting it in his mouth? Billy's like, like, yeah, like, I don't know. Is it like an envelope? Try to lubricate it to get it into itself. And it's sort of like if you fold a fitted sheet. Yeah. So he's like, good enough. Yeah. He's just bulging. He puts it around, kind of around his waist, but like tucks his shirt over it so it stays in. Yeah, nice. Perfect. And Hiddleston is passed out down here and you know that Wendy is dead around the corner.

I'm gonna use escape route. Excellent. Great idea. This is a really solid plan, by the way. I like this. I'm not gonna dilly dally. Nope. So when I'm in too deep, need a way out. I, oh yeah, name my escape route and roll plus dexterity. So I'm gonna try to find the way out that Wendy came in. Yeah. You're literally in too deep. You are deep in the earth. I'm scared. This is perfect. Come on, do it. Do it, Billy. Do it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, plus dexterity. Oh, ten. Oh my god. Fuck yes.

You got eight plus two. Okay. This is us watching from the inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you got plus two. That's amazing. Everyone's just standing around Ving like he's a radio. Yeah. Yeah, so I'm like leaping over like the roots and stuff like that. And I can see Wendy's footprints. Yes. It's quite muddy down here. And you follow her footprints like back into another side tunnel up a route. Oh, she ran a long way. Yeah, she's quick. She's fleet of foot. Yeah.

Which means, unfortunately, because you said it and I agreed, that you come up quite a ways away from the action. Okay. Like you're, I think. Am I still in the I think you're still in the garden. Okay. Yes. I think you haven't entered into like the chambers, but you're in the garden itself. But you come up pretty close to the walls on the other side of where you were. Like you know you'd have to go through either the garden or the cloister to get to Elman's quarters. Okay. But there are guards.

There are gardeners wandering to and fro. There are armed like military elves. Oh shit. Stomping around. And you see the like the callousness with which they treat the garden. Okay. Stomping through. And I feel like there are gardeners like actually holding weapons. Like looking uncomfortable about it. Yeah. A few gardeners have like scythes and sickles. And are yeah walking around very apprehensively. Are they like concentrated in an area?

Like if I were to use fairy dust to make them fall asleep, would that kind of create enough of like a quiet zone where I can Yeah. They're not super concentrated, but you would be able to either take down the guards or the gardeners. And a gardener a very apprehensive looking young elf girl has a sickle and is walking down a row of bushes including your bush like poking. Oh shit. The bushes. I back up against the like garden wall. Yeah. And I try to shoot out some fairy dust. Okay. Yeah.

Perfect. 2d6 plus charisma I assume. Come on. Nine. So I believe you choose one between you can get a bunch of people, you can do it from a distance and they stay asleep for a long time. For a long time. So you basically since you don't do it from a distance you like wait for her to get close to you and just like poof. And it hits her right in the face. She sees you and there's like a moment of alarm. She's like Yeah. And that gasp she breathes in a bunch of fairy dust.

And then and flops into a bush. I steal her sickle. Ah. Nice. You have a weapon now. Yeah. Terrifying Billy with a sickle. Yeah. Okay. Now you got to get across. Are you going over the garden wall or through the garden wall? I will. I'm going to go over the garden wall. Nice. Okay. Defy danger dexterity to climb up the garden wall. Vingatuck have popcorn at this point. Yeah. Yeah totally. Billy's in full stealth mode. Yeah. Eight. Eight.

You scuttle over to the garden wall and start climbing up the old ancient wood of the roots that have been turned into this structure. And like an old PS2 stealth game the camera sees like a guard has a question mark over his head and turns and is like huh? And starts walking over to where you are. You haven't been found out but they like caught movement out of the corner of their eye. Oh shit. Basically as you get over the top of the wall. I'm just going to book it. Yeah. Uh.

Can I use escape route again or is that too many times? You should be able to use it again. Okay. Yeah. Ten. Okay. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So you just book. Yeah. You use your scary agility and your thiefly intelligence to sprint as much as your tiny little legs will allow. So crouched? Yeah. And you hear as you're running away Hey! Wake up! She's like being shaken Uh oh. By this but since you used a long time he's like hey! And you're able to slip in to the cloister itself.

What's inside the cloister? Like are there, is there furniture that Billy can kind of like traverse around? Yeah. Yeah I think there's like you know. All sneakily. Chairs and places with flowers and stuff on it. It's basically a big ring structure with like corridors and rooms as a part of that big ring. Uh but you do recall that you're sort of close to Elman's quarters. Is there any like little anything I can disguise myself with? You can discern realities. Okay. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Uh nine. Okay. What here is useful or valuable to me? Uh there is a bucket next to a mop. Actually that's perfect. Yeah. So I squeeze it to the bucket. Yeah. Like over, like overturned. Yeah. Yeah. I use the how big's the sickle? Sickles aren't huge. Sickles aren't huge. Billy's aren't huge. The sickle is about as tall as Billy. Oh shit. Can it fit in there with me? Yeah but you got a big ol' razor sharp sickle in your face. I'm risking it. Yeah. Alrighty I'm covered in blood.

And we hear Billy say that Yeah. From inside and we're like what the fuck? Why is he risking it? Why is he running with a knife? And then he brings it really close up into his face. No no no no no. To carve little eye holes out of the bucket. Holy shit. Oh I see. Be careful. Be careful. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. This makes the bucket way more useful so you're gonna have to roll for this I think. Uh 2d6 plus dexterity. Yeah I gotta do it like without dying. Seven. Oh my god. Seven to nine.

You're only able to get one eye hole. That's fine. Which means your peripheral vision is dog shit in this bucket. It's okay. Actually I am so good with just one eye cause that's how thieves like thieves look around. Just one eye open. Out of the one eye. Alright so now Billy's in a bucket with a hole in it. And there are gardeners and guards in lesser numbers than those in the garden itself.

And now this is a cartoon where we see a shot of like a bucket moving and then a guard walks by and it stops. There's a hole in your bucket. Dear Billy. Dear Billy. So I think this is going to be I wanna say defy danger Oh it's wisdom or charisma. Cause it's no longer. Charisma cause I gotta move like a bucket. Yeah. You have to move like a bucket. Like a bucket. Alright charisma. Nice. That's a funny enough explanation. Yeah.

Well cause I'm thinking it's either like knowing when to stop or knowing how to pretend to not be there. Yeah. Nine. Okay perfect seven to nine. You get so it's stop. You're stopping at all the mops on the way. Yeah. Hopscotching the mops on the way in. There's a lot. There's so many mops. There's so many mops. They do a lot of cleaning. Yeah. And you get to Elman's door and you wait like a bucket would wait. Like in a bucket's worth amount of time. Yeah. And I'm going do do do do do do do do.

And then Tug inside is like why the fuck is he singing? Go. Go. Go. Stop singing. Let's go into the god damn room Billy. Stop singing and go. They just trust the bucket process. And you wait the appropriate amount of time for the guards to leave. And you sneak in the door. And you see there Elman's cutting in the pot. Nice. Held in the hands of first gardener Malgath. Oh fuck. Am I still in the bucket? And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your Game Master Sean O'Hara.

Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome with the Barbarian Abdulaziz. So long. Playing Ving the Half Elf Druid Paul Hoppers. Take care. And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai. Bye. Bye everybody. Thank you to Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music. You can find all of Aaron's original music at aaronreid.bandcamp.com and all the music produced for the show at soundcloud.com Thank you to all of our susporters around the world.

If you would like to susport the show and get access to a bunch of cool things check out patreon.com slash spoutlore or spoutlore.com slash money please. And thank you finally and most of all to you for listening. We'll see you next time.

And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I gladly spoutlore

Hi there Spellorians, Abdul here with a special pre-show announcement to let all of our Monarch level patrons know that we are currently shipping out your Christmas merch drop, which this year is a beautifully crafted dice advent calendar that's a collaboration between our very own Jessica Tai and the amazing people over at Fantasy by Numbers.

Just like last year's advent calendar, this one has another dungeon crawly type design, but this year the dungeon crawl features the cool treat kids from our bonus show and it tries to solve the mystery of who stole Clover's diary. If you're not a Monarch and you'd also like an advent calendar, then you're in luck. We will be releasing this new advent calendar in our merch store this Thursday, November 23rd after all the Monarch ones have shipped out.

And if you can't wait, then you can head to our store right now and snag one of the advent calendars with last year's design on it, which is a Spout Lore themed calendar. Also there, you'll find all the other amazing Spout Lore merch designed by the incredibly talented people over at Fantasy by Numbers. You can find all of that at www.speltlore.com slash merch or fantasybynumbers.ca slash Spout Lore. Links for those will be in the show notes. And now, on to the episode.

Heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief Who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed Their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you An adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home He loves to sing and fight Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape And wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size Does mask the largest heart Best and brightest They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round, friends And listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hi! Hey everyone. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello everyone. When last we left our heroes, they had engaged in an extreme study session and came out of that study session aggressively in the room of Elman, junior gardener at the cloister of the heart tree in Heartwood City.

And he aided the party in their infiltration of the garden to learn more about the sickness at the heart of the wood. And they, they attended the morning salutations of the gardeners, observing an ancient ritual in which they all acted like fucking buffoons and still somehow made it through. We were briefly attempting to interrogate first gardener Malgath about the fate of Ileana, to which she refused to speak and also warned you against doing the same.

We went to the conery, a room in which all of the cones from the heart tree of knowledge are kept, and we went to the conery, a room in which all of the cones from the heart tree of knowledge are kept, investigating a record of gardeners past, finding that Ileana was not only not included on the list of first gardeners, because Malgath would have been alive at that point.

So she was likely still first gardener, but realizing through the connection of dots that it is very likely that the court had no problem with Ileana being a wizard, at least at first, lending more credence to the political nature of her death. Mm-hmm.

We used Eye of the Tiger to see first gardeners, gardener Malgath speaking with some representatives of the Sun Peaks that we had spied on our wander through the cloister at first, including a sinister elf who looked very dangerous, that is supposedly an agent, quote unquote, of the Sun Peaks, and their determination to capture infiltrators that you assumed probably rightfully so to be yourselves. Would be funny if it was just a completely coincidentally difference.

It's like Fenton and Franklin and Clover. Yeah, exactly. The guys who were breaking in and- Vance. Oh, the Vance gang? Yeah. They're back. We tricked and trapped and snuck our way through the cloister to the garden itself, avoiding the sinister looking elf, Tom Hiddleston style. There's a lot of us walking casually. Yeah. Casually in quotes. Yeah. Pretending, putting on hats and grabbing trowels and being like, we're going outside. We love beans. Can't get enough of these beans.

The thing was sliding his feet along the floor and saying casual, casual, casual, casual. Which is the most casual way you can walk in elf society. So it worked perfectly. In the garden itself, we snuck around, saw some plants, figured out that there were some other people in the garden, including Nesh, the undercover ranger from Dathaniel's Talon, whom we are not completely sure if we can trust or not.

The party made their way to the far side of the tree, Billy stopping them and explaining that they need, to make some sort of offering to be welcomed to the tree. And here's where things started going pretty bad. They were going bad before this. They were going pretty bad before, but this was like a lot of failures all in a row. Yeah. Ving attempted to commune with the plants of the garden and attempt to offer some water from the well in Hibernia. That failed.

The plant saying that there was no hope of getting the sickness out of this place. Tuck attempted to tune into a sort of discomfort he'd been feeling upon entrance to the garden. Which did not go well. No. He smashed an obsidian coin to offer to Larry, Terry and Chad to implore their aid. And all of this coalesced into some sort of awakening and awareness within the tree and the earth opening up beneath the party to swallow them whole. Yeah. As they fell, they heard a cough and a fart.

And that is where we find out. That is where we find our friends. Now. Now. Falling. Farting. Hearing. Coughing. Loving. Living. Laughing. Farting. Loving. Farting. What do we have? Do I have? I don't have any weapons. I didn't. I haven't described what my gardening tools are. Yeah. I mean, like, I think you guys all discussed that you had your weapons on you when you got here. So you've been disguised. I think you can safely say like Tuck has TLC disguised as a trowel. I have a bow.

I'm going to shoot an arrow up into the mouth of the hole and try. I secure a rope. Okay. Yep. That's a lot of gear that you have. So are you, you're falling and you're taking a rope and you're wrapping it around an arrow and then you're loading your bow. Don't be an asshole. I just want to make sure. Don't force me to justify this thing that I'm doing. I'll stick a rake in the dirt. I have a rake. I'm going to try and slam a rake in the side and clutch it and grab on to Tuck. Sounds great.

This is going to be strength, I guess. 2d6 plus strength. Nice. I got 12. That's insane. So you slam the rake into the mouth of the hole and like the handle kind of jams into the other side, creating like a cross beam of sorts and you're just grabbing on. And I wanted to reach out for Tuck and Billy. Okay. So you reach out and you grip your friends. Now you're hanging over the mouth of this hole. Okay. Swing over to the side. Can we like latch on the side? I assume there's roots and stuff.

There's lots of roots and dirt and debris hanging down. Like it looks like an underground cavern. It is an underground. Yeah. It absolutely is. Can we see the bottom of it? You can't see the bottom, but like the light filters down telling you that there is more hole. Can I make a willow the wisp and send it down? So the wicker the wisp appears. There she goes. Yeah. So the bell, you hear the bell ring. That is her like little fairy meow as she hops down. Oh, down all the roots. Yeah.

Boing, boing, boing down to the bottom. And the hole is not massive. I think there's maybe like 20 more feet. Is there a hole above us or does it close over? It closes over. It does the roots and the earth. Mostly the roots. You can see the roots like raising up and sort of knitting the earth back together above you. So it gets dark. It gets very dark. But the wicker the wisp is casting quite a bit of light and it pats down about 20, 30 feet below you. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Climb down.

It's like, please climb down. Right. Everybody's been hanging. Oh, right. Oh, right. They grabbed me by the ankle and I've kind of just been hanging there. It's like, take over. Don't be having fun with the echo. Billy, let's go. And I basically like just bounce off the roots. Nice try. Roll two D six plus dexterity. Okay. You're falling like try to bounce down the roots. Six. So with the dexterity. Yeah, that's unfortunate. Oh, shit. Okay. You can roll a D eight. Oh, my God. God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. So much. Oh, there's one rock down here. Yeah. Billy lands on the rock. How many? How many HP do you have? 15. So you took six. No, no, no. Sorry. I had 21 full. Okay. And now I have 15. And then tuck looks up at Vig and he was like, why did you tell him to climb down? He's a little boy. I'm sorry. You're 20 feet up. It was an instinct. I'm so sorry. Please climb down. I look up and there's like a big cut across my forehead with a ton of blood coming out. Oh, my God.

I'm like, I'm fine. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Vig likes to go of the rake and falls. Okay. Yeah. You guys are just falling. Yeah. So how are you trying to not hurt yourself? Light as a feather. Okay. Yeah. On the roots down. Great. So 2D6 plus dexterity, I believe, for light as a feather. Oh, I got eight. Okay, great. So on to seven to nine. Something goes wrong. GM tells you what? He lands on Billy. Billy takes six more damage. Oh, yeah. Oh, God.

I wonder if your rake, AKA, is a little bit more of a spear. Yeah. In the roots. Oh. Like in the ground above, because you said you let go of it. Yeah, I did say that. So your rake, which was your spear, but disguised, is stuck in the mouth of this hole. Oh, my God. Tuck, how are you dealing with this? I'm just like trying to avoid Billy, and I'm going to just take the fall to avoid Billy. Smart. So unbowed, unbent, unbroken, I guess? Yes. Okay.

So when you prepare yourself to endure some hardship without fighting back, role play, plus constitution, on a hit, you take half damage. Okay. Ten. Sorry, what's a ten plus? Ten plus, take half damage. So yeah, D8. There we go. Eight. Whoa! So half damage is four. Four. And then I have three armor. Minus your armor, yeah. So just one. Wow. That's unbelievable. I just only took one damage on an eight roll. Yeah. So you straight up hit the ground like a fucking meteor, just like boom.

And then you're like, oh. Oh, man. Yeah. And then I get up and I'm like, I'd like to see Tom Hiddleston fucking fall like that and be fine about it. Can I use a pull test against Billy? Billy's trapped in a tree root, so he can't go anywhere. He can't get away from the goo. I mean, unless Billy really doesn't want the goo. No, it's fine. He's trapped, so. Also, this is just smart, given that we're going into such a fucked up situation. I know. We could just get beaten the shit out of. Yeah.

Heal them of seven damage. Great. Oh, shit. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. So now your little cut on your forehead is like smushed closed and pasted closed with like a goo. I painted the goo in the shape of a little kitty cat. It's like being feeling really guilty. It's like face paint. Like it's like little cat face paint for Billy. Even though Billy is the one who let go. Yeah. So Billy's touched it and like licking it. Like, mm. Yeah. That'll just keep healing you. You just keep doing that.

Herbs and spices. Mm, it tastes like KFC. So you find yourself deep beneath the earth in a cavern. The cavern. The cavern. The cavern. The cavern. The light of the bill of the wisp is illuminating the cavern around you. It's not a terribly large cave mouth and it seems like at least at first glance, it is sort of a natural result of the roots and the earth and the movement of tectonic plates over time flowing water. So this seems like a natural formation, at least where you are.

Does it look like it's well traveled? No. Okay. Can I discern realities about it? Yes. Two to six plus wisdom. Okay. I got five. Oh man. Oh no. Oh no. So much experience. Okay. That's going to be level 22. So the doom is all encompassing. Oh shit. Your vision is filled with like the crumbling burning earth that you dream of and you see your friends around you standing in the mouth of hell itself and the coins in your chest, the shards that you have been harboring for these many months.

I was going to say burn, but it's not a burning. It's a deep aching bone chill. Okay. So you're going to take a debility to constitution. Oh, I like that. There's like dry ice almost like coming out and falling off his chest. Oh yeah. Is that like, yeah. Oh, you guys can see that it's almost like my skin is freezing. Yeah. Like there is like a cold rolling off of me just like there was off the tree. Oh my God. So Tuck doesn't usually get affected by the weather, but Tuck you feel cold. Yeah.

What do you do? I look like shit. I think like Tuck is like sweating and like, like he looks like he's got a fever I think cause he's like bone cold and also like sick sweat and then also like depressed now. Oh no. And he's seeing things. Yeah. What's going on with your chest? Are you doing okay? Uh, yeah. Tuck is, uh, yeah. Tuck lets you guys know cause this, he knows he's a liability now. I think in most situations he would just like push through whatever till the end of what we're doing.

But like he's, I think he's aware that what he's seeing isn't real and that he can't really perceive his surroundings very well. So he's like, I'm pretty fucked up right now. I can't see. I can't see. And I think the corner of my chest is mad at me. I have that obsidian knife with the brass handle. Like can we try like cutting it out of me? Can we try some like surgery right now? Interesting. How deep are they? They're surface level. Not surface level, but you can see them. They're embedded.

Yeah. It'd be messy. It would be messy. It's going to be a messy thing. But you've done worse to yourself. I have three poultice left and half a bottle of alcohol. Three poultice left and half a bottle of wine would wine. I also have, I don't know if it would do anything. Golden root. What does golden root do again? Golden root makes people friendly. Yeah. Give me some of that golden root. I have oil of taget. Oh wait, I have ghost root. Yeah. Isn't there something ghost root?

Ghost root interrupts iconic influence. Yes. Yes. Oh. I also have a teapot. Give me everything. Everybody just give me all your pills and drugs and I'm going to take them now and then you guys cut this shit out of my chest. You have a teapot. I have Amma's teapot. What does that do? Let's make some ghost root tea. What did he say the teapot does? I think he just gave you a teapot. Yeah. What a useless fucking gift.

I mean, you also never used it, so it's hard to say if there's a- That's because it's so useless. I mean, yeah, the ghost root is a very interesting idea. Should we, Tuck is like, should we do the surgery here? Should we open up the fanny pack and try and use- Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Is it feel like a moment that we can take a pause or is it something that this has come over you suddenly? We need to do this now. I'll just lay out how I'm thinking about it. One thing that we know is you guys are alone and you've been hiding the fanny pack. This is a fine place to hide it. You're completely alone. But do we think that the fanny pack is a safe place from iconic and demonic influence or that you are risking something? Like exposing them? Exactly. Like exposing Perel and Morris.

Yeah. Like would you be basically putting another target on yourself by opening this like magically potent object here? Okay. No, we have to do it sans tent. And also the other thing is do you want to start cutting into Tuck's body here? Or do you think that it would make more sense to the party in the moment to do this ghost root thing to just like hop a bunch of ghost root or whatever to protect yourself in the moment and hope that you can take care of it later? Let's see. At least see what…

Let's start… Let's start with the ghost root. Sure. Let's troubleshoot this. First aid. You know what I mean? Yeah. Let's triage it. Yeah, exactly. Cool. Yeah. Do whatever. I feel like shit right now. So whatever you do, just do it fast. So Tuck pukes. Oh my God. Yeah. How much ghost root do we think you have dose wise? I want to say three. Three seems… Reasonable. Okay. Okay. So one use is gone. Yeah.

And Tuck is just eating it raw, but in a more controlled dose because the problem was before that he ate a bunch of it. I ate the whole thing. Yeah, exactly. What does ghost root taste like raw? Like ginger, like raw ginger. Yeah. So it's pretty intense. Yeah. It's spicy. Like raw cocaine. It tastes like raw cocaine. But it's kind of garlicky too. You got that like bite of garlic. Yeah. It tastes like ginger and garlic together so much. It sounds so good. It's really burning all of my sinuses.

It's a problem. It sucks that it's like so dangerous to cook with because it's fucking tasty when you cook with it. Oh, fun. So you swallow this raw ghost root. You feel the cold recede. The debility is still there. But you do not feel as quite an acute sense of dread as you did above ground. Can I see you now? You can see for sure. Yeah. Your vision is not tumultuous burning ruin anymore. Okay. You can see your friends and you can see the dark, miserable cave that you find yourself in now.

It basically puts you in the point that you still feel like shit, but it puts you in the place where you can barrel forward. Okay. Exactly. Yeah. But if you were to stumble just a little bit, you think you'd see that vision again. Okay. Yeah. So yeah, Tuck steals himself and he's like, all right, I'm good enough that I can keep going now. And hopefully there are no side effects to ghost root. Can I have the rest of the ghost root just in case stuff comes up and I just, I can eat it.

I can just eat it straight away. I give Tuck my two doses of ghost root. Oh, I don't know if you should do that. This stuff's not addictive, right? What do you do? Is there a wind coming? Is there a direction of the wind? Yeah. I think. Follow the cold wind. Exactly. And I think it's like the path that all of you can take. I think there are small, weird fissures all over the place, but the largest path is ahead of you. Great. And it seems to be the one where the wind is coming from. Okay.

He pulls out one of his sunstone torches that he has too. Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah. I give one to Tuck. I have two. I take it. Billy, do you want one of these? You got will-o-wisps. Oh, thank you. There you go. So here's where the GM's burden has arrived. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. We have previously determined that sunstone has an effect on iconic forces as well. Oh, shit. Oh, wait. But isn't it? In a good way. Oh. It's not the magic bullet.

That's not what I'm saying. It's not the golden gun. Yeah. I'm just saying that within the light of these sunstone torches, you feel a little safer. Oh. Oh, great. Cool. Because the darkness here is oppressive. Okay. And oppressive not just in a dark sense, but in like it is attempting to oppress you. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh. Oh. Tunnels. It's like willfully walking along a spider web. Exactly. Yeah. Spooky.

Whatever lurks at the heart of this is aware of you. The hunger is driving us towards itself. Yes. You feel if you are outside of the light for a moment, you feel this like, whatever I want is right ahead. Uh-huh. And I just have to find it. Teal's here low-key freaking out too. Aww. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. What are they saying? Uh, we're fine, man. We're fine. We're fine, but please don't leave us behind, okay? No, it's chill, dude. You know what? Just post in the bag maybe.

We'll be there when you need us for sure, but oh my God. One of them is doing so many chin-ups, but like in a way that it's clear it's not okay. Yeah. I was just a fucking rock like a year and a half ago and that was so chill. I don't want to be a troll. The nature of rock is to chill, man. This is not the nature of rock. Chill. I don't want to be a fucking axe anymore. Remember when we didn't have names? It was so nice. Remember when we weren't a we?

Yeah, so you were just continuing down this tunnel. Oh, I have my bow with the ready. Yeah. Arrow notched. And TLC are in axe form again. You've dismissed the illusion? Yeah. I think the glamour. Is everybody cool with that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because it takes effort on Billy's part to keep it going. Like I'm too tired in this place. Yeah. Maybe as soon as you land on that rock. Oh, yeah. It's done. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. Like it's just you hear it. You hear the illusion shatter in the ferry.

It's like so yeah, everybody looks themselves again. Dirty ragged. Awesome. Oh, man. Okay. So here we are beneath the heart tree. Do we see anything? What do we see? Oh, trap expert. Trap expert would be a good move. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Eleven. Okay. Eleven. So you get three hold. Is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? I don't think so. Okay. Yeah. I do not believe there is a trap here. I it feels spooky. Yeah.

Because it's the only time you've ever said that. Yeah. And you know what that means is that there is a trap here and we're in it already. Yeah. Billy's like a figure, but you know, I just want to double check. No, no, no. Make no mistake. Whatever is at the center of this tree wants you there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's almost like too easy to get there. We could just stand here and get there. Yeah. Yeah. As the earth like royals beneath your feet a little bit and you move like imperceptibly forward.

So I guess because we're in the trap, what does it do when activated? Okay. So you like even through the little light that you are casting with your tiny little sunstone torch, you know that if you go to the center of this tree, wherever this darkness lies, you will get everything you could possibly ever want. Nice Billy. Do you hear what it said? Yeah. We heard what Sean said. Yes. Billy, you are not to keep walking. Billy, this is a bad place. Anything it's telling you is wrong. Right.

Everything is wrong, even though I want it. What else is hidden here within the dirt walls within the soil in the roots? Things move like what creatures dangerous ones that have been drawn. You think to the darkness. Oh shit. Things that live beneath the earth. You see you out of the corner of your eye, a flash of legs. Spider carapace. What is it that shining insectoid segments burrowing through the dirt millipedes centipedes the like the worms in my hair like moving around a lot. Gross Billy.

Let us save you Billy's pulling him out. I don't like it anymore. I was like, whoa. Yeah. Do you throw the knowledge worms? I know those two can stand just the regular earthworms that I've put in the regular worms and they immediately they hit the floor and they start digging immediately almost as if they're afraid. Can't believe I ever let those on me. The tremors of your footsteps seem to be drawing things near as in the walls and the ceiling and the floor. Earth starts to move.

Chittering sounds can be heard. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Should I back up? The light of your sunstone torches seems to be keeping these things at bay, but you know if they get even a shred of an opportunity, they will take it. So we keep casting the sunstone torches about. And things proceed further into the roots. Yeah, that's what I fucking thought. So you are safe for now. So like the thing that we can kind of interpret is that everything is iconically controlled right now. Maybe not everything.

You can't be certain that the things in the in the dirt are controlled iconically or just attracted to this place. Okay. The things that are attracted to the evil places and the dark secret hidden things. Yeah. But they do seem large and they do seem dangerous and they've been feeding on the roots of a knowledge tree for God knows how long. Oh, yeah. Which like we know it affects the way things develop. Yeah. Carry on. I do want to ask a couple of questions.

So I have iron will when you are subject to mind control or magic that influences your feelings. You may choose to take one D4 damage ignores armor and ignore the influence. Interesting. Then yeah, you can choose to take one D4 damage. You will not be able to resist this with your armor though. Yeah. So I can take one D4 damage and like absolutely disregard the effect of like whatever it is at the core of the tree at least on your emotions. Okay.

So like the hunger that other people are feeling I can kind of be clear of that. Yeah, I guess so. Okay, cool. Tuck wants to do that roll a D4 which is the pyramid one one damage. Nice. How do what is what is Tuck do? How does this work? I've never used it before so I have to think about it now. I also wonder if like TLC mediates it a bit. I think that you initially think that that's what it is the protection of TLC.

Okay, but you feel so completely disconnected from whatever it's attempting to do like it's like it's talking to somebody else. Uh-huh and it just rolls right off you. Yeah, I think there's like a kind of like when Tuck was a kid there was like a place he would go in his mind that was like an empty place that like when stuff was bad, he could just like not feel anything. Yeah. Yeah, just a just a comfortable nothingness. Yeah, total absence of self.

Yeah, I think and I think he kind of like just like uses that again weaponized dissociation. Yeah, totally like forget it. I'm nothing. Yeah great. So yeah, your mind feels clear and you see Billy like rubbing his hands together like it's all in front of me. I want it and Tuck like he pulls a like a puzzle box. He has the puzzle box still and he wants to distract Billy with it just in case be like Billy. I think there might be something really cool in this puzzle box. No way.

Yeah, I think something real cool is in here. I think there's that he shakes it. I think there might be a bunch of marbles in this puzzle box. No way. Give that to me. I don't know Billy. I want this. What do you want for it? You want to ride on my shoulder while you try and solve it and then we'll split the marbles. If you do solve it. It's 70%. Okay. Yeah, sure. Okay. Okay. He's even haggling 70%. What is that? Is he haggling with marbles?

So I give it to him and I put him on my shoulder just so I can keep him a little closer. Just let me win. I got you. He's got a nice head as a parent. He has that thing where he's like, fuck you, you little fucking bitch. I'm going out of my way to help you right now. Billy's just like making fun of Tuck. Like, wow, I've really got one over you. Really got steamrolled. You lip cut. Okay. So actually, now that this has been reintroduced, something to consider.

Is Billy trying to solve this puzzle box? Trying to solve the puzzle cube? Yeah. So the puzzle cube was broken. Oh, yeah. By Tuck. But is Billy still able to work on it? Yeah, he's just like, there must be another way. 2d6 plus wisdom. You know what? Against all odds, Billy, you're like investigating this cube and you're like, there's got to be more to this. And you know what? I think it's partially because you've like met Morris. Now you've hung out with Morris who made the puzzle box.

You're like, fuck me. There is more to this. Like, it's not just a physical thing. It's like an orthogonal object. So there's metaphysical space to be messed with. I'm like, okay, so I know there's a drawer in here that goes way further than it looks like it goes. Yeah, exactly. There's a drawer that you had. Bing feels in the fanny pack around his waist. He's like, whoa, what the hell was that? Oh, that's interesting. Yeah.

So there's like, yeah, Billy has actually discovered some sort of metaphysical aspect. Yeah, he squeezed his hand into like this crack in it. And it's like going really deep. What the fuck? Where is this coming out? Tuck is coming out. He's like, I'm gonna go inside. He's like, it's probably better than him looking at the creepy crawly things that are trying to kill us. So we'll keep that in mind. Billy, we keep walking down the tunnel as Billy is uncovering this magical puzzle box.

Looking for marbles. Yeah, he's like singing a song himself. Uh-huh. It's like when you give your kid at like you'd clock that there's a bad accident on the highway and you're like, hey, do you want to watch a video for a second? What's Ving feeling in all this? I think Ving like if Billy just feels like the influence. And tuck is like disconnected from it.

I think because it's like iconic and spiritual you feel like you're in front of a speaker that's cranked to the maximum but isn't playing anything like it's that like like it's just a discord. Did you get what do you what like what do you think Ving is feeling? Because I think this is a this is a horrible place for a spiritualist to be like he's drowning in all the sounds of these awful and voices of these awful creatures. Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah, you can hear them speaking.

Foul dirt and roots and the air in here is just like saying all the same thing. Yeah, I like there is no hope. Yeah, it's just so it even if he's not feeling it himself. If whatever isn't in there is not affecting him personally. Mm-hmm. He just you know, it's just like the voices are telling him. Yeah, absolutely. So you can hear like the whisperings of the things in the dirt. It's kind of driving him mad a little bit. Yeah, because they're just telling you there is no hope. There is no escape.

You will die here. And I think it's the same thing that Billy was. Feeling like outside the light of the Sunstone Torch. You feel that like powerful need to have all of your wishes granted no matter the cost is the thing at the heart of the tree white privilege. Oh my God, Billy. We have to go come with me. My boy Jessica and I are naturally impervious to it. All you just got to reach out your hand brother. What is meant for you? I'm coming. I'm coming. I mean, here's the thing.

Whatever you are looking for this tree. This force is not going to try and stop you. It wants us. Well, Billy's like like fiddling with the puzzle box. Can I see any of the knowledge tree roots down here? Great question. Anything that can be read off them? I think you do see runes on the roots but much like. The Heartwood itself. They are so old and twisted and gnarled that it would take some real investigation to actually glean any information from them is there grown over.

Can I can I use a move? You can you can spout Lord? Yeah. Oh God for or that's a failure just had the physical affect of a cartoon hamster when she that is how she gets when she's nervous. You look like a cartoon hamster is denying somebody alone. So I think that you like stand up on tuck shoulder.

You're like others roots and then you're like kind of walking around on on touch on talk like you normally do because you're small and he's big right you reach up and you like grab a root because you're trying to get a closer look at it and the root itself comes loose and dirt falls from the ceiling like a great amount of dirt falls down on you and obscures the light. Oh no, your Sunstone torches for just long enough for the things in the soil to strike. Oh wait, hold on. Strike first.

Oh, yeah, shoot first. Yeah, you cannot be surprised. No, I cannot. So what do you do? Is there anything on me? Oh, I still have like little shovels. Oh, you've still got weapons for sure. Yeah, start swinging the shovels around. Yeah, great little blades totally. So this could be a sneak attack shoulders because you're basically acting before. Yeah, he's swinging blades around while on. Top of tuck.

So you see like an insectoid head like bigger than your body disgusting start bursting out of the wall in front of you and you get to strike first because you have shoot first. I'm in the eye. Seven. Okay. So on a seven to nine with backstab, what do you get? I get to choose from one. So, you know, I'm going to deal my damage plus one d6. Okay, so you deal a d8 and a d6. Yeah. Six and a six twelve damage. Yeah. Holy shit. Is this thing? Dead. So it's not dead dead.

The reason it's not fully dead is as you're like stabbing at it's got these like huge crushing mandibles and it's jaws are like dripping with some sort of viscous fluid and it's got, you know, gross bug eyes and it's got goo. It's got goo for sure and you stab into it, but you're you're basically like you can tell that you got really lucky dealing this nearly mortal blow because you missed all of the hard.

Gray carapace that this thing is covered in but it was able to turn the blade away in just such a fashion that you weren't able to kill it out. Right, but it's basically dead and two more one bursts from like the ground behind Ving and another from the wall behind tuck. Let's go to Ving. You see Billy like stabbed this horrible bug. There's a moment where there's nothing happening and then Billy's like killing a thing moving so fast. What do you do? I take out one of my vials of.

My element bandolier. Oh, yeah, and I have a bunch of iron filings and I want to elemental form and pours it on his hands and then I erase his hand up and as he's bringing it down it forms into his spear that stuck in the cave. Oh, yeah, he clasps it and then brings it down onto the bugs head. That's fucking sick. That's sick. So cool. I also imagine that you wouldn't even pour it. It's just like break glass in case of emergency. I love that. Just like rip it off and smash it in your hand.

Oh my God. He forms into a spear. Yeah, that's fucking cool. Instant. I can like with my other hand. I pull it out. Yeah, so sick. So then is this elemental mastery then elemental form? Okay, because I'm transmitting a part of my body into a form made from the raw elements. The spear I roll plus con. Okay, I rolled a 12 and my con is to I got 15. Okay, 15 is unreal. That's massive. This I imagine it is like very sharp but also kind of thin because it's like filings just out of this metal.

So you've got this metal Javelin in your hand. You look like t1000 right? Yeah, he brings it out of the side of his body and slams into the top of a bug's head. Hell. Yeah. So I guess you just use one of your hold. Yeah. So now you've got to hold and then roll a d10 to do your damage. Eight eight. Okay, so it is a pretty solid blow this big like almost cockroach looking thing but with like crushing horrible mandibles and dripping jaws. It's got a little flip up kind of.

Almost ear wiggy like tail on the back where it's not a big whipping tail because they live in caverns. If those long crab claws. Yeah, totally and it comes out of the earth and you form this spear and stab true and punch your spear right through one of its carapace plates and you have to like yank it out but it screeches and like a dripping smoking liquid pours out of its body. Yeah, fucking gross. These things are gross, but it is still alive tuck.

You've got one coming out of the wall right next to you. What do you do? Yeah, tuck goes gross any punches it really? Man, so much easier. Hack and slash. It's so startle. That's really scary. Yeah. Do I have any special things that I can do to fucking kick this thing's ass extra? I think you've just got punch. Yeah, just punch. Just punch. Big punch. Just punch. It is a big punch. I mean you have Terry, Larry and Chad punch. True. Yeah, but I just punched it with my hands.

He just said he punched it with his hands. So it's 2d6 plus two. 6 plus strength for hack and slash. I like that you're punching it with an axe in your hand. With your axe in your hand. Okay, here we go. 2d6 plus strength. Fuck. Stop betraying me dice. Oh 13. 13. Yeah. Okay, so go ahead and roll your damage. 8. 8. What's the special thing that I can deal more damage? I can choose to put myself in danger to just deal more damage. To deal an additional 1d6. Yeah, I'll do it. Fuck it.

Kill the fuck out of this thing. Because he like he punches. Is it right in the mandibles? Yeah, that he goes. Six wait. So how much damage did you deal overall 14? It's the magic number. Hell yeah, you go gross. You punch this button. You're punching you like it's got you as a head like almost as big as your chest like comes out of the wall and you punch it and it screeches as your massive fist crushes plates on its face and it spits at you.

And this smoking liquid hits you like kind of in the shoulder chest and starts to sizzle and burn how much damage I did. I rolled a date but the eight. Oh God. No, and that's a three. Okay, so that's going to be four because you take plus you play taking additional damage. Oh, yeah, right. So you get spit on and your flesh starts smoking and spitting and then he goes cross. He whips it off. It's like this thing's so gooey. You just crush it with your other fist and it is dead Billy.

You're kind of stuck in this one with your little trowel, but it's freaking out tuck is just turned very rapidly and only because you are basically connected to the bug in the ceiling. Do you not fall off immediately your feet just kind of twist on tuck and you land back on your feet. Yeah, but what do you do? Am I on the ground? No, you're hanging like your trowel is like in this thing that came out of the ceiling.

Oh, I try to twist my body around so the trowel twists inside the gross bug head. Yeah, look at hack and slash crocodile death roll. Yeah, that's exactly what I do. 12. Okay. Well, roll your damage. Goodbye motherfucker. Got a seven. Yeah, that'll do it. So yeah. Yeah. How does Billy kill it? I'm like a vitamin mix inside his body. Basically look like a graceful big fat crocodile spin around and yeah, like the brain goo just like comes out everywhere. Yeah, I basically turn to a blender.

Oh man, you spin so much that your blade comes loose. There's just nothing solid for it to hold on to it. More onto the ground. I'm like nice and this thing is like hanging out of the ceiling and the one that tuck destroyed is hanging out of the wall. And when Billy goes goodbye motherfucker text like what did you say just now? Billy language and then he kicks the body as hard as I can to try and dislocate my bugs head from yeah, totally hack and slash. Ice 10 plus strength plus 1212.

So roll your damage fucking sick for four. So four is not quite not quite enough but you do you connect with it and it like you basically kick and as you're kicking at it. It is like diving back into the ground. You just kind of glance it as you as you connect. Wow, good old-fashioned hack and slash. It's been a while. Yeah, man. This is a problem that we were facing before we're trying to think our way into situations.

Yeah, we should just be punching our way into situations punching and cutting our way into it always works every time. Every time I never wield my spear with great might never. Yeah. Yeah, as you're all like this is a great idea. Billy's covered in viscera tux arm is like melting. My toes are turning black and blue thing has like a metal spear corroding his hand man. This is great. This is what we're good at. Yeah, high five high five clang clang.

So this thing is not by the thing spear stabs me in the hand. Through the so. Five deaths. Just so I got a fish life. But as this creature burrows into the dirt, are you assuming that it's running away? Are you just treating this is like we're good to go? Yeah, I guess. Yeah thing. You weren't able to kill your thing. It just it ran away. Yeah. Thanks Sean. That sucks. He starts digging with this iron thing. Get back to your self. No, he'll die. That was a pretty pretty good guys.

You saw that he'll die right? For sure. He's gonna die the worst death of all three of them. Yeah, he probably he's probably gonna go home and then murder suicide. Well, those other bugs. Yeah, probably stinger. He's got he's probably seeing himself right now. Yeah. Yeah, he's dead. Yeah, I probably took out. He probably went back to the hive to kill the rest. Yeah. So murder suicide. The other bug is weirdly dark. So he's you said that to an eight-year-old there.

Billy knows all about murder suicide. He's three thousand and eighty. Yeah. Okay, so you have you have resisted the the the attacks of the things in the earth for this long. Yeah, text scans scans the torch around. Yeah, just to be like get back motherfuckers. Yeah, or we'll murder suicide all of you. So it's only a few more minutes of walking in this horrid place, but you do exit this cramped tunnel into a larger chamber. The light of your torches reaches up this place is like though.

The earth has cleared mostly. It's now even more full of roots like the room is quite large, but there are roots of varying sizes arcing all over the place and like filamenty roots to like yeah, smaller ones that sort of like crawl across the ground and then large ones that like plunge into the earth. Whoa, and this is all the like the heart tree. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah, and you realize Ving especially and Billy because you're so connected to these kinds of places.

Is a fairy these roots the roots that you are now standing within extend throughout the great forest like this is the center of it all. Can I put my hand on one of these roots and just hear what it sounds like? Yeah, absolutely. I do that. What do you desire you feel in your like spirit in your soul? My desire the hunger within the tree to leave this place forever. No hunger is natural. Want is natural. All things want. What do you want Ving? To be free. I can give you that. I'm coming.

And you take your hand off the root. So what do you hear? Yeah, that was really intense. What was it? It asked me what I wanted and I said I want to be free. I didn't even know I wanted that. I don't know what that means and it knew my name. And I said, I'm. Going there. I don't know. Mmm. Okay, it's getting delicious in here. I feel like yeah, I guess tuck like stops for a second and he sees I like he's resisted it but he sees how much it's affecting the two of you to be in this space.

So he's just like is this maybe too dangerous for us to just like go ahead first into it. Yes, I can say yes from having touched that. Yes, it is bringing us inside. So it has the upper hand. Whatever it is. How do we? Gain an advantage here. We could all have ghost root. There's two more pieces. That's true. Oh, yeah. Why don't you guys have some of this ghost root? But I also feel like we should all know what it is what we want. Yeah, so that we're like prepared. Oh, yeah. So we can resist it.

Hmm. Billy touches it. Bing touches it too. So because the thing talker with the ring. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you can all tap into it. Mm-hmm. What do I do? What do you want? I want to what do you really want? I want to sleep. I can give you that. I don't believe you. You should. Whoa. Whoa, let's go. He's like, I don't like that. You just want to sleep. I'm just get tired. Do you want to do what I took pulls out the Bjorn? He's like, do you want to get in the Bjorn? Not right now.

I want to talk about it. Okay. That's okay, buddy. You don't have to talk about it. Starts like kicking the tree like stupid stupid. It's just stupid one. Three fucking treatment. Yes, little foot. Like it's doing nothing. Okay. Yeah, tuck tries it. You like touches the tree. The tree does not speak to you. Do I hear anything? You do not. Whoa, is it because of the ghost route? Was it because of the ghost route? Couldn't be the ghost route could be that feeling of it rolling over you.

And then tuck realize how fucking weird that is. So he goes. I want chicken. Really nods like very seriously. Just pretend. And he knows he's pretending. Yeah, they can hear the tree. All right, here's. I want to say chicken. It rolls his eyes like a right does a clock that bring can tell that he's like he pulls his handbag. He's like whoa, being like ostensibly looks over the tops of his glasses. I'd talk even though he's not wearing glasses and then took us Tao is scared. Oh, yeah. You.

I don't want to do that again. Really what you want the most. Oh, yeah. I love chicken. I would do anything for it. That. I'm. I believe I believe that he's like, well, he starts pretending to be obsessed. I would do anything. It's got him. It's got come back to us. No, I'll take a look at this coaster. It I'm better. Tastes like chicken. So your pull your plan. Billy and Ving is to take some ghost. I guess so. I feel like Billy's gonna eat like half of one of the roots. Yeah, is he small?

I think if you want the effect, you're gonna have to take a full dose. So spicy in my mouth though. You got a Billy. I can give you I stole some yogurt from the mass. Do you want to tip it already ate it? Oh, okay. Yeah, you just got to eat it. How it is. I'm sorry, buddy. I found it in your backpack already. Yeah, it's already grown. Nolan. You cleared us out of snacks. But I did the thing that a Ron Swanson does. I smelled it in your bag before I even parked my car. I already ate it.

It's gone. I hate everything. What a great runs away character. Yeah. So you got a full dose it if you want the full if you want the effect very well. So you are now and being is taking one as well. Yes, you are out of ghost route. This is not good, but you do feel a mitigation in the like creeping dread that you've been feeling since you've been here. Okay. Hmm. The whispers. Of the tree are quieted momentarily. Mm-hmm. What do you do? Carry on Sally forth.

Yeah, it can't affect us as much anymore. I already feel the need for chicken. You're sitting and I will fight it. I promise both of you. I love you both more than chicken itself. I don't believe you anymore. I'll never believe you again. Okay, so you approach. The center of the tree, which we've discussed the trunk is as large as the house from home alone. So big so big. I feel like the chamber that we're in is like it's like a big chamber and there's roots going upwards.

Yeah, and the actual center of the tree. We kind of to climb up. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I think of how yeah, there's roots and then we just come up to the thing, but that makes sense of it's a hollow. We're in a cave hollow underneath the root system is yeah. Yeah. Okay to them from the bottom of the tree. That makes sense. How are you climbing this root structure? If that is what you are choosing to do to approach the heart of quickly. All right, so 26 plus dexterity for quickly.

Wait for all of us for you because you said quickly nine. Okay, seven to nine. How are you doing it? Climbing wise? Yeah, I'm doing Constitution. Okay, so you're just physical training and I'm climbing hard as fuck. So strength. All right, great. I don't know why. I gave you all the opportunity to min-max your climbing role, but I'm climbing in a really charming. I love climbing. He's like flexing his biceps. A bunch of clenching your butts.

Oh, you do a lot like those like chin-ups where you like pull your whole body. Oh, yeah, a full-on muscle up. Yeah. And then Billy tries and he can't I can't do it. Text answered all the right muscles. You like looks at Vick. Oh, somebody's in a cafe. Wow. My God, I built it up. So I mean, you should have been concentrated climbing charismatic fool. I rolled a three and I have three strikes at six. Can somebody you don't deserve this aid? Ving says as he aids to the six plus bond. Oh seven.

That's incredible. Wow. So tuck reaches up and grab. And he's like, ooh, look at me just pulling one hand like look at us like and then you're yeah, the brute you're on like snaps a little bit and you start to fall fuck and I imagine being just roof catch catch hand out snap. Billy is also doing a seven to nine. So you get you try and do a Superman muscle up and you shock yourself by pulling yourself all the way up.

Oh, I did it but like some sort of tether ball you start to flip over the other side and you begin to fall. What do you do? Whoa. He digs his nails. Okay, 2d6 plus strength. I guess seven. Okay, I get lost splinters. You take roll a d4 for splinters buddy. We got to cut those things one you take one damage as your hands get splinters in them, but you save yourself from falling by am hung upside down kind of by your nails. Yeah, can I go get them?

Yeah, you've already you've succeeded at your climbing. You're going to just whoop grab them off their little put you up on a route. I don't care you all the way. Sorry thing. Now don't be part of climbing up. It's falling down. Yeah, you're right and you climb these roots the lattice work of this ancient tree the support structure of the entire forest these roots have seen the rise of a region spanning civilization over thousands of years and has held the knowledge.

Of tens of thousands of elves and as you climb the roots like Ark above your head and rise up from beneath you creating this chamber that's almost church like a cathedral of rock and stone and wood and dirt and you're approaching the heart of things. Do you stop? No, no, we got to keep going being has such a dichotomous feeling in his chest of despair and warmth and love and belonging and Abyss and you carry on into this like Cathedral wait before we go.

I I stopped being I'm like, are you cool to keep going this stuff affects you more than the rest of us and there's a bunch of family shit tied up in it with you too. I mean we have to part of it is we have to and I feel like I need to. Okay.

So you reach a more level section that allows you to stand on your own two feet and walk forward as you do the roots that form the archways and walls of this place this chamber the shape of the roots becomes different creating what it first reminds you of like flowing water or the branches of a beautiful tree, but then suddenly brings to mind the image of chains. Hmm.

And before you you see a body hanging by the wrists wrapped in roots supported around the chest locked in place pale pallid skin a frail body long dark gray hair hanging in front of a face in the chest sticking out an arrow of dark wood. Oh fuck. Oh no. Before you hangs the body of Dathaniel Fang Zumba. What? What? Whoa. What do you do? Wait, so who's up there? I want to discern realities 2d6 plus wisdom. Oh fuck. Whoa. Oh fuck. Nine. You get one question. Can I help you? 2d6 plus bond.

Uh eight. I like the can Billy just hold my hand. Billy. Yeah. This is like tiny little hand comes up. This is my dad dead and you I'm a dad dad feeling. Uh, what? What's happening? You go. I'm actually flustered. This is who's really in control here. So thinking about the information that you have so far, you are reminded of the fact that there is a piece of obsidian somewhere in this tree and that it is not a coin. Okay.

And your eyes are drawn to the shaft of the arrow and the head that must be within. Whoa. Whoa. What? Here's not what it appears to be. If this is your father, truly, this is your father. The other man that I've been talking to is not. So who was it? They give us Matt. They're that's fucked that who? What the fuck? That's can't be true. Right? I kissed him on the lips. I've been jerking off nonstop to this guy. Oh my God. Is it the giddiest man? Who else could it be? Oh, what is he dead?

He's breathing. He's alive. Whoa. What's about to happen? You've that's four. You've that's four questions. No, no. Is he dead? You gave that for free. Yeah, you gave it. Oh, you fucking Aladdin ass genie motherfuckers. It's not one of the questions. You didn't have to. You just gave it up for free. What is about to happen? Oh, that is a great question. You're reminded suddenly of a cough and a fart. Oh, fuck. Somebody else is here. They're coming. How would they find us? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. We found our way here. They're being drawn by the same thing that we are. We all get to Daniel out of here. I don't think you'll be doing that. You turn Wendy. Oh, what have you done? Only what I had to thing, which is get my vengeance on who? Everyone. Why? The people of this place, the court of the wood. They ruin lives.

We are powerless under their rule. And I chose to take the power for myself. How short-sighted of you to think that you bringing this place down affects only this place, the entire forest, the entire north is sick and dying because of what you are doing here. Be that as it may. We will stop you. You will try. Shing. And she draws her bow. She has it while she draws an arrow from her side. Is it obsidian? You. Is she alone? It would appear. I didn't ask that question.

Can I like discern realities? See if any realities in a fight is perfectly, perfectly normal. Yeah. Wendy has not struck. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to see if there's anyone else here. Cause it seems weird that she would come along. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It seems weird that she would come alone. Yeah. God. I just want one success. What the fuck?

These are the cursed dice. That is such not a success. I got three. Yeah. Beautiful. So you look around, assuming, rightfully so, as an experienced warrior, there's no way that Wendy is here alone. And as you're like, who else could be here? You feel a blade sink into your back. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Fuck. And you hear someone whisper in your ear, easy big fella. Vving. Damn. One sec then. Hold on. Okay. But wait, you need to. He just has to look up how much damage he does.

Oh God. So what we're going to do, and remember, don't freak out when I say this, 2d10 and keep the higher. Oh my God. Fuck. Oh. Four. So with your armor, it's just one damage. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. And it's like right beside the kidney. Yeah, exactly. Like it doesn't hit anything vital, luckily. Uh huh. And you hear, does Tuck, Tuck makes a noise? Yeah, he does. He, like he reacts like an animal. Yeah. He like wraps his arms backward and jumps back. Oh shit.

To smash the guy underneath his back. Oh fuck. Oh my God. That's hardcore. Yeah. Yeah. Hack and slash. 2d6. And drive the knife further into your body. Wow. What is happening? Not the day. Wow. I rolled six. Eight. Oh. Yeah. Can I aid? I guess you could. Yeah. But you would be taking your eyes off Wendy. What about Billy? Billy could help. Yeah. I could aid. Yeah. Uh, 12. On an aid. Yeah. So how does Billy aid here? This is insane. Well, Billy's small, so he's gone around the guy.

I shoved my shovel into that guy's foot. Oh yeah. Great. So that is enough that like he's trying to like twist out of your grip. And as he attempts, he almost breaks like the little grip you have with your fingers. And then he goes, ah, cause Billy stabs him in the foot. Then I would like to shoot first. Okay. Great. Wendy. Yeah. So Billy stabs this guy in the foot. And so you do your damage. Duck one. Oh boy. You are still gonna roll the 2d 10 and take the higher. Oh shit.

Cause remember on a seven to nine. Right. Yeah. So he's got crazy damage. Yeah. Four. So I only take one. Okay. So this is a very weird fight. He's trying to kill somebody that is very tough and you are trying to kill somebody that is very hard to kill. Maybe you don't jump and land on him. You just back him into a wall. Uh huh. Yeah. Knife him. He gets slammed. Like he throws off my balance. So you just stumble backwards into a root and he goes, yeah. Uh, okay. Billy. Yeah.

So when the guy like kind of falls over the, I don't know, the shovel blade, he's going to whip them at, at Wendy and he would love to like basically have it slice her neck. Yeah. That's a good goal to have for sure. 2d six plus dexterity. 10. Fuck. Okay. So I'm 10 plus I get a clear shot and I deal my damage. Yeah. Which is a D eight. D eight. Yep. Please give me eight. Seven. Seven. I'll take it. Yes. Okay. So you just fucking missile a piece of this shit.

The ladder and it does hit her like in the neck, nice, right in the throat, like the larynx zone and it hits her and she coughs up a bunch of blood like instantly just like, and then she drops into a crouch and darts into the shadows. I want to follow her. Yeah. Ving takes off after her. Okay. Yeah. Ving. Uh, so she is getting into the darkness. What are you doing to keep your eyes on her? I'm going to fight with honor and roll plus con and get some cheese. Okay. Two D six plus constitution.

Come back, come back, come back. 10. Okay. So I get three hold. Yes. I think it's cross a distance between myself and a foe and deal damage to a foe within sight. Nice. Yeah. So how do you do that? I, uh, uh, use my elemental form and throw the spear out of my hand. Oh, sick. Cause yeah, you didn't use all your holds. No, I didn't use all my holds. So yeah, I just send this whistling. Oh, I'm going to throw it. Oh, I'm going to throw it. Oh, I'm going to throw it. Oh, I'm going to throw it.

Oh, I'm going to throw it. Oh, I'm going to throw it. So you, you just, you're spending your hold on that, so you don't have to roll it. You just roll your D 10. Come on. Big one. Seven. Nice. So enemies in Dungeon World don't have the most hit points. So, oh wow. You hear nothing. You hear nothing. You hear nothing. You hear nothing. You hear nothing. You hear nothing. You hear nothing. Which you know means nothing with a ranger, but you can tell that you're- I didn't miss. You did not miss.

I knew I got her. Yeah. So what do you find when you reach the spot that she was in when you fired? He comes up behind her and finds her standing facing the wall- Yeah. With the spike going through the back of her neck- Oh. And pinning the piece of the shovel that Billy threw into her neck into the wall in front of her. Yeah, and she's like, fair warning listeners, she's like trying to get off the spike. So she's like gripping the spear and like trying to pull herself off of it, but she can't.

You know in The End of Ghost when he sees his friend and what's happened to him? Like Ving is actually like, he threw this thing, but just out of like fear and like we need to stop her. Yeah. And he's like, oh, Wendy. Yeah, totally. And Billy arrives. Stay there, Billy. Okay. I walk up slowly. She's bleeding out. And you walk around to her and you see her looking at you with just pure hatred. And she's trying to choke something out. And you hear through her life's blood, your mother is.

And then her vision unfocuses and she's gone. And I think that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long. Playing Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. I'm playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music.

You can find all of Aaron's original music at aaronreid.bandcamp.com and all of the music produced for the show at soundcloud.com. If you want to support the show, you can do so with hundreds of other supporters around the world. Thank you. At patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. Where you can get access to stuff like a bonus campaign set in the High Spear Mall using Blades in the Dark, merchandise.

Every month there's writing and art and whatnot with the Speltlore Almanac. And at higher levels, even games run by Abdul and myself. Thank you most of all to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3 Who tried the best?

They can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more of our stories Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

Hello listeners welcome to Spout Lore I'm doing sean's job while he's having a nap is this okay yeah this is good okay she was asking the listeners that I'm asking everyone um we're here to tell you some really fun news yes abdul well I have the list of news here you didn't take that over at all I'm sorry okay you do it we have a really exciting announcement about a new tier coming to our patreon for all you abdul fans do we have any abdul fans listening in okay everyone all you abdul fans listen up here have you ever wanted to be part of the chaos that is just a part of the chaos Abdul do you ever wonder what a game would be like if Sean wasn't there have you ever wanted to be Sean have you ever wanted to be up close and personal with the things in Abdul's mind all the dick jokes all the things like you know we're super obsessed with like going to prom and like his skater boy voice and stuff like that yeah yeah yeah all the different voices that I do like Queen Victoria I do a pretty bad Woody Harrelson anyway if you're interested in that there's going to be a new Patreon tier yes called the wizard yeah well there is already a wizard one fuck I fucked up what is it called again I don't know that we have a name for it let's come up with a name for it right now is it just part of the wizard tier yeah well Sean's is the wizard tier are we just opening up like two new spots or are they I think we have to open up a different tier that's the same level that is just me tower tier the piss shit box tier the piss monster tier that's so funny yeah okay that's a good one so we're calling it are we calling it the piss monster we are now I can't say it with a laugh I'll say it we're calling it the piss monster and Abdul's gonna GM DM and HM your in your DMs if you please if you wish to GM with him aka game with him sign up for that I think there's only two spots available yeah we'll keep it to two spots for now I'll GM a game which I've never done before so it will be objectively bad it's gonna be chaos yeah you will regret it you will regret this that's all of you listeners out there do not subscribe to this because it will be bad and chaotic and I'll see you next time and I will not give refunds so yeah that's gonna be called the piss monster tier we just decided while we were doing this announcement and while Sean was out of the room he has no say in this and he's gonna be mad at us he's gonna be so pissed that we called it this the last time that he gives us the reins for sure yeah this is the only time we've ever recorded it without him in the room he was like why don't you guys do the announcements for the merch I'm gonna step out for a minute cause I need to clear my head and we're like yeah sure we can totally handle this responsibility the smallest job absolutely we can do it no problem we'll definitely do everything to your specs you know what would be fucking hilarious if I priced it one dollar more than Sean like some petty the price is right move yeah you guys could sign up for Sean's at $300 a month or you could sign up for mine at $301 a month oh no Sean's back Sean's in the room nothing at all we were just about to do the announcements excuse me we are having a very serious discussion about our feelings right now and you coming in while we're vulnerable is making me feel unsafe the accuracy the straight facedness at which that Jessica is lying right now is making me feel really uncomfortable how accurate that was were you guys trying to usurp my no game master spots no no not at all no don't even worry about it Sean you have nothing to worry about at all why is your wizard tier so cheap I is it cause it's worse is it cause it's not as good as mine which is actually $301 a month so you heard us if you're interested in having Abdul DM a game for you that's right click on piss monster tier and we will get that to you no you're calling it the piss monster that's the first time Sean's ever heard this no oh oh fuck that's brilliant actually nice damn from the minds that brought you Spout Lore Paul sound effect apps not working oh now I'll put this one okay in a world inside your imagination oh god dude what one man in his crazy mind will break outside the box you thought that Abdul was annoying during Spout Lore but you've never seen him inside your house this patreon 2023 for some reason I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I Where Will be chaos www.patreon.com Slash Spout Lore Or www.spellore.com Slash Money please Spout Lore brings you The piss monster Tear Yeah Yeah That was actually incredible Holy shit you deserve an Emmy for that My favorite part was when the ones They'd interrupt you Like you were surprised by them Oh man Thank you Paul Thank you guys You try to do the app And then Yeah In a world of your imagination Fuck That was from yesterday When that would have been funnier www.spellore.com Slash Money please Yeah that's We should just release that As the thing Absolutely Yeah That's so fucking good!

Thank you! Thanks for watching! I hope you enjoyed this video! If you did, please subscribe! And if you want to see more videos like this, I'd be happy to! Thanks for watching! See you next time! Bye!

Hi everyone, it's Fat Billy here. Thanks for coming, listen to our podcast. If you want more podcasts, you can go to patreon.com slash spoutelore, where you can give us some money. And I like money, so I can buy snacks. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight.

Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather around. Gather around friends and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Hi, I didn't see you. Oh, hi. Oh, hello. Hello. When last we left our heroes, they had been received of the present. What's going on over here? What's going on over there? I did not even see you.

Welcome. It's a good day for a podcast. I like this guy. Who's this mysterious stranger? This is the opposite. Instead of BORN. My name. Oh, my name? You're not stalling, are you? No. My name. Beef. Beef? Beef. Can't believe Abdul yelled at me for 15 minutes that we were late in our recording. That we were taking too much time. You do it. You do it. Abdul is just screaming at Jessica. Yeah. At me only. Only. Only. Only. We were all in the room too, but he was just giving it to Jessica.

We kept trying to go in front of him and he'd push us down and keep screaming at Jessica. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Beef. I'm kidding. Sorry. Well, it's because you knew that you had to spend 15 minutes introducing us to Beef. Beef. Beef. You had to get us back on track. Can you say his name again? Boo. Wait, it was like, B-E-E-F. Yeah. Boo. Boo. Boo. I didn't hear that. Turning the word beef into four syllables. Beef. Beef. Beef. Beef. Beef. Beef. Beef. Beef. Beef. Beef.

Your last name sounds like your beard touching the microphone. Well, here's the thing is apparently I was too rude last episode. Oh my God. This is the new me. It wasn't just you. Wow. Yeah. Jessica looked at Paul. Oh, I've never been squirted by Jessica.

Suck it w we're getting started early no no no this is the show now no it's not I mean it's always been the show I'm not gonna make a single rude joke this episode that cannot be just intellectual jokes I'm gonna take my vulgar and put it back in myself I'll take the v and put it back in the p yeah all right when last we left our heroes I'm just gonna read excerpts from infinite jest I hope everyone enjoys that great triple experts when last we left our heroes they had received the presence of a one oman the bookworm who had been sent away months in game and one full human year ago from the isle of hibernia to answer some questions about the iliana's vings potential parentage the history of wizards creating life I will say it was not months because things gash has like oh right yeah it's under two months yeah it's like a month then a month wait yeah we're halfway through are we halfway through the gash we're coming up on it yeah yeah I forgot about that gash yeah yeah it's good to remember oh there's a society of people that want me dead yeah those are the stakes for sure I forgot about stakes but you know who didn't forget about stakes was tacoma dome who took himself to an all you can eat pizza palace in his mind oh yeah in an attempt to translate the librarian shorthand that far margani had returned upon the wings of oman we went to tux a mind pizza palace to find him surrounded by yet again versions of himself in a variety of roles and disguises including master librarian far margani tuck and through a series of roles successful and not we learned that the ranger attack on the island of hibernia and the death of iliana was also politically motivated as iliana had pushed a little too hard at the time to try and rebalance the power between the vox populi and the vox silvi the vox populi as represented by the court of the wood did not like that so a number of people wished her dead which is saying it now a shocking revelation as we believed that it was primarily a tragic falling out between dathaniel and iliana but was in fact a politically motivated assassination yeah that dathaniel was forced to take part in yeah pretty fucked up yeah pretty screwed up and it was also dathaniel's sister that forced him to do it yes we were introduced to vings and solara van kieran queen of the sun peaks and de facto queen of the great forest who was suspiciously absent at the arrest and imprisonment of the party ving wanted to know about the history of wizards creating life which we learned is suspiciously absent from the writings of wizards of the time generally accepted to be impossible through thaumaturgy you said it was the holy grail yeah if anyone were to figure it out it would be one of the largest magical innovations of the era well also I thought you said that like biologically they could biologically they can have kids right but they can't create life oh via magic I see or at least that was the thought at the time but there are no written records of anyone ever having achieved that I think it's also like creating a nuclear bomb essentially because if they can create life then hypothetically they can create like as many wizards as they want yeah whereas if they're like beholden to like a biological process to make kids you can't choose that your kid is a wizard just like you have a regular kid because it's like the universe basically chooses yeah exactly any wizard that has a kid that is a wizard is like a billion to one chance yeah then we also learned iliana translates to mother bear and that that family that clade of bear shapeshifters were basically tasked with the spiritual guardianship of the island of hibernia and its connection to the spiritual realm supposedly also tending to the great bear that slumbers beneath the island which led to yeah billy discovering this tied up poem on oman's body written by a fairy many many many years ago which read chains broken became chains forged when moon threw off her yoke father knight was cast away to walk among the folk which the party interpreted as the gibbous man being a chained unwillingly to the material plane and tuck interpreted as lillian having chained the gibbous man as punishment for his transgressions in the past and that if he has changed the material plane as an aspect of a god then he must in some way be vulnerable and that is where we find ourselves now the party aggressively coming out of this state of having read for an entire episode my back hurts so much my legs are numb and my eyes are blind oh my god it's like I was looking at instagram on the toilet for four days all of our legs are as you all make that giant groan at the same time elman goes oh and knocks over an easel on which he'd been painting a watercolor why am I wearing a bonnet and nothing wrong with it but oh I I I'm so sorry that I um I had to observe it was quite quite exhilarating how many drawings did you make there's a drawing of us as dogs playing poker what what I wanted to fill the time but I didn't want to interrupt your process what happened what is this creature it's a bug yes I see that it is a bug it's a bookworm they live at the library in mccall they use them for like categorization we've been using this guy to send messages back and forth billy's like I don't know if we're allowed to say that I think fair is gonna be mad fuck shit you're right god damn it you can you can trust me I swear you can trust me this this specimen comes from the great margani library of mccall the specimen traveled from the great tree of knowledge and then to the library and then has come return to the tree of knowledge and as you say he traveled from the tree to mccall back to here you hear elman go yeah because he you guys wouldn't stop moving around oh my god oh my god he probably went every where that we've been he did yeah he had to find the goblins oh my god the little muscles around his wings are jacked his shoulders buddy he's wearing a white tank top fucking shredded now he's got a little thing of creatine powder I have to have this gotta refuel right now he's a foam rolling and took is actually just like flipping him over trying to find more messages he's like I'm sure maresh had some but something on here for me a little something for me how do I know if she's up oh god trying to figure out if that girl's up you know what I mean you keep flipping oman over and after like after you flip him over and he like flips back onto his legs and unfurls his wings and starts like vibrating a little bit like and then he slowly begins to like molt whoa what and the wings that had been written on by far like well they fall off yeah and now he's got like fresh little dewy paper wings underneath and a fresh carapace oh my god okay I gathered those wings keep them safe yeah and he curls up his wings re inserts them into his body wraps himself back up and then squeaky squeaky starts crawling towards billy again I pick him up and I put him in my hair yeah he squeaks right in there where you want to go there's so many other worms in billy's hair I know I can't keep track you guys do have two yeah I know but I've also been collecting worm pets as we go just worms just other worms in your hair it's a real problem they blend in really well with his curls you think they do it's just full of fucking worms it's really gross we're like we have to get him shampoo special shampoo for that he refuses to he says it's goo and doesn't want to let it touch him so what did you learn blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah my word we tell him everything and he reacts okay and now we're back in the present wow what a theater of the mind we've created I mean like I have thought of a lot about we don't need to rehash every piece of information every time but he goes I I just have to say this has been quite exhilarating watching you three adventurers of great renown investigate your mystery has been I cannot even say we need to get this guy out he places a hand on his chest leave the garden yeah no I could not I couldn't possibly are you not allowed to leave well no of course part of my sworn oath to the order is that I will I will remain here under the bows of the great tree until I become one with its roots wait what when I die I will be interred beneath the tree as the garden is before me has it always been like that it has yes part of part of the symbiosis of of life in the great forest is that the gardeners learn from the tree we absorb that knowledge we return to the earth and the tree recycles that information but of course I hope that the tree is in much better health by the time I expire I mean wouldn't you want to if you're going to give it knowledge wouldn't you need to go collect knowledge to give back to the tree maybe that's part of the problem is it it's just been a echo chamber of knowledge for so many years there's a whole wide world out there there's so many stories being told have you ever heard of lone tree hill about two brothers playing a basketball game betraying each other he's just trying to be what they've trying to be lately it sounds quite thrilling but I fear my place might be here although I will say that the the great outdoors does feel quite tempting from time to time well let me tempt you further big boy and we slide him a copy of love it is dog and quite stiff are we doing a role to like get him to rebel I don't know maybe I guess yeah defy danger charisma we want to like inspire with him a hunger that will get him to do whatever the fuck we need yeah and also I feel like to protect himself at some point because like what if someone finds us and then poor elman gets in trouble and like I don't want him like sitting there like a little duck yeah it's true yeah give him the like the wings to fly yeah we're gonna be the wind beneath your wings dude and then I blow in his face his long golden elf hair blows behind him and he closes his eyes and he imagines a life out beyond the walls of the cloister that's right imagine yourself on a ship wind blowing in your hair the sea smells worse than I imagine the sea smells exactly like salami uh if are you saying that when you leave you'll take me with you I mean if you want okay this is a parlay now okay who's rolling it tuck I mean tuck is leading the combo so okay plus charisma 10 okay nice oh I I can't believe it perhaps perhaps I will leave this place one day I swear to the three of you and he drops to a knee he puts a hand on his chest I will do whatever you require of me in this quest to heal this tree I accept your oath so it is and so it shall be rise for you are no longer elman of the tree you are elman of the wandering three whoa whoa oh oh oh start slow clapping yeah and he stands to his full five six and looks up and to the left into a new dawn and then there's a knock at the door oh shit I fucking hide oh wait no wait we're disguised remember you look like a regular ginger boy right oh right you're all disguised as as monks yeah I sit around his little tea party that he had set up earlier yeah I pretend to drink oh wow oh wow oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh!

And tuck pretends to Read What? What do you mean Pretends? And the door opens and it is first gardener Malgath the hunched old elven woman in her long vestment. I'm an elf. Oh, who are your friends here? Are you? She's trying to recognize you and you can feel Billy. You can feel like you're you're like disguise glamour like he's saying there was like every muscle clench like I'm fine. I'm an elf. You must be new. You must be old. She laughs that I am young man. And Tucker.

Says, uh, uh, uh, yes, we're we're transplants from the city of vigil is a are you first gardener Malgath? I am. Well, it's great to meet you. We are from House Van Zumba transplanted gardeners tending the tree there. Very good. Glad to hear that House Van Zumba came around and sent some folk. It's time for morning salutation. I'm ready. Slowly salute her shaky and sketchy looking each other. She just starts kind of hobbling back and forth as she turns around in a circle in the doorway.

Elman goes, come on and you fall into line behind Malgath as she takes about a billion years to walk down the hall and we're seeing the cloister during the day. So it's morning. There are a lot of people. There are gardeners kind of going to and fro with, I don't know what, like baskets of earth wheelbarrows. We are wheelbarrows. Some are just like draped in plants that they're like carrying to different parts of the building.

There are a lot of guards more than you remember there being yesterday. It seems like your infiltration and disappearance in the wall has not gone totally unnoticed and they are extra vigilant today. Your disguises will hold. Unless you do something ridiculous. You know what I mean? Like they won't keep you from all scrutiny forever. And you are led very slowly down the hallway by Malgath and you pass, you know, different chambers. You pass what seems to be some sort of mess hall.

Billy, the smell of Elvin cuisine wafting out of the room as you walk past it. Do you resist? It's honestly not that appetizing. It smells like bean sprouts. Oh, yeah. Mung beans. Yeah. Yeah. Just like boiling. Yeah. Yuck. Let's fill in some of the details of this place. Everybody give me something that they that you see in the cloister as you walk behind Malgath. The kitchen eatery area is like an entire greenhouse. Like they eat mostly raw things and boil.

So it's like they have a greenhouse full of edibles that you just go in and everyone. It's like a salad bar, but it's growing forage in the greenhouse. And then there's like tables kind of placed inside the greenhouse. The people are sitting at because it's not like the fact that there are a bunch of guards means there's almost more guards here than there are gardeners. Because the garden is not like stuffed with monks all the time. Yeah.

And then because we're at the mess, there's all the gardeners because it's salutation time. So everyone's coming in eating before the day starts. Totally. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And Tuck notices that like sort of at the head table in the mess hall, there are like two or three people who are not gardeners. They're like not where. They're like not wearing the vestment vines. They're like very clearly like court officials that seem to just be here. Interesting. In the church. Yeah. Very interesting.

What does Billy see? I don't know. Weapons. I saw a post of people with like loose hammers and axe heads planting them into fast growing trees. And then you get them in like three years to make a new thing. Then you just chop it off and you have. Whoa. So there could be like growing weapons. Cause it's kind of in the area where the guards are. Depending on what kind of tension we want to grow. That's a great idea. Yeah. But maybe it's more like growing tools.

Like they're growing their tools for like the tending of the plants here. So it's like. Yeah. I think there is like sort of not a new, but like slightly newer patch than the tools where they grow the weapons. Oh, right. So it's like, this is a more recent addition where they're getting more militant. I like that. Oh, the militant wing of the gardeners, like the sickles. Oh, cool. Yeah. Yeah. And spears and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So there, that is interesting. That is a thing that I think tuck in Billy would be like, oh, there's weapons. And, but Ving would be like, there's fucking weapons here. Like why gross. And Malgaff leads you further into the garden itself. And you come out into another like greenhouse like structure with a high peaked roof of branches draped in leaves and ivies flowers sprouting, but everything with that sort of like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It looks a little sick, like a little sicker than normal where, um, gardeners have been filtering in preparing for their salutations. Malgaff takes her place at the head of this congregation is first gardener and turns to all of you and makes a sort of expectant hand gesture as all of the gardeners seat themselves. They sit down, they like fold their legs under them and sit kind of, you know, like on their knees. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Figure out how to cross our legs in the weird way that they did. Yeah, they all sit down as one and the three of you are still standing for a second. The vibe of this is when you're at your friend's house and they're Christian and you've never done grace. Exactly. And you all like are just looking around you. Oh, we're supposed to bow our heads and you close your eyes and you can't eat it.

Doug takes take something that might be a root vegetable, might be a spoon out of his mouth. No way to know. And she begins her speaking part of this, which is basically just we spend another day under the boughs of this great tree whose light washes all in the forest and whose roots extend to the ends of the world. We come together in thanks for the shelter of its boughs. The fruits of its knowledge. Yeah, the fruits of its knowledge. Thank you.

You're basically doing the Lord's Prayer just a little bit. Faster than the priest. Actually, you know what? Roll it. Roll it to find a charisma. Six. Fuck. Okay. I'm going to help. Yeah, please do. Seven. Okay, so seven nine and a seven to nine. She she looks at you as you you are like reciting this prayer a little bit louder because you've heard it in the court and she goes and the fruits of its wisdom and the strength of his roots.

We tend to you great tree as you tend to elven kind and as she says this the branches at the peak of this chamber begin to pull back and the light we actually do that and the thousand leaves of the heart tree arc above you and you take in as the morning light reflects off its leaves and off its branches and you are bathed in the light of a new day and Ving is actually like caught up. It's beautiful to see it.

It's still working in some ways and like to see an element of what he knew and it you know that is still a quite a sight to behold. Yeah, and as it hits the table like all of the meals that were there like bloom a little bit like they it's like the last step in like vegan rock. Okay, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's cracking a sprout comes out and and this appears to be the conclusion of the salutation as everybody rises faster than you expect.

Okay, and they all leave and go about their work. So we're just leaving the food here. What we're not eating it or what? I don't know why you brought the food in here. This is actually a different room. So you guys salutate and eat where you go. This is she Malgath does approach you. I was very pleased. She reaches out a knobbly hand and places it. I grasp both sides of it. I was so pleased to hear that the old ways the ways of the garden extend even still to the boreal reach.

Yes, the words have traveled far and wide. Why am I keep lying to this old woman? I don't need to do this. Oh, very good. And I'm glad it's so you you consume sustenance during your salutations in the boreal reach. Yeah, they they makes us get to our work faster. Yeah, it's real TV dinner kind of situation. Very interesting. Yes, in the boreal reach.

We have a much more utilitarian approach to worship and gardening talk is struggling saying a lot the dead the King Nathaniel his nature as a ranger really permeates all parts of our civilization. It's an always be snacking scenario. Yes, always have trail mix. In your pockets great a great Rangers be grazing and then took puts his hands together and bow. Uh-huh. Yeah, and she kind of bemusedly goes. Oh, it's just as she puts her hands together and pals. That's a nice.

That's a nice twist on things. Nathaniel is a great. He's a great leader and a great man and it has been many years since his presence is grace this place. So I'm glad to have his influence. In these halls once more. He is still a hallowed figure among your people among the gardeners. There are some who have opinions of him that are perhaps unfair if not untrue, but I have lived many years and the stories of the Ranger King have always been a source of inspiration and pride to me.

Have you ever met the Ranger King? Oh, once. Twice a handful of times. It's been centuries since I have left the light of this tree. Did you ever know the woman that he took as wife? Hmm. Known to some as Ileana? Yes, Ileana. A true tragedy, that. How so? Well, she meddled with forces that she should not have and she unfortunately paid the price. Good day. I must return to my work. She very slowly begins walking towards the door. Wait! And she very slowly stops.

And very slowly turns back to you. Tell us more. You'll have to forgive me. I'm an old woman. What was that? Tell us more of our King. And in days past, how did it go back then? Fuck! Sucks at this. What? She seems a little confused. What do you wish to know? Tuck drops the pretense and he's like, not many people within the court speak of the Ranger's former lover and it is interesting to travel to other cities and courts to hear what others say.

It helps as a gardener to interpret the trees to know the history that people don't want to share. You must understand this is not a subject that is spoken of often or very freely. How much would it take to… Are we talking money or… To instinctively go to bribing her? How much are we talking about here, Malgath? Come on. Just like, uh… First base, second base? You don't want to know how far I'll go, Malgath. I'll do whatever you want. Anything. You misunderstand me, young man.

She reaches out a knobbly hand and places it on your shoulder. I cannot speak of these things. I will not. She pushed too far too quickly. Spoke of things. She ought not have. It would be irresponsible of me to encourage the same thing in others. It's a warning. Now if you'll excuse me, I must return to my work. But she must side with what Illyana was trying to do, right? I don't know, dude. Who knows? She's first gardener now. Yeah, that's true. She could've been part of the overthrow.

Yeah, I mean, like, she has navigated a very treacherous political situation to continue to be first gardener over the last few hundred years. She's super shrewd. Yeah, and she kind of doesn't seem it, which it feels dangerous. Yeah, she could be planted by the populi. Unless, like, maybe she knows that there's, like, they're listening. Oh, yeah. Like, make no mistake, we're having fun little sleepovers with elf monks and little college student fun times. You're in a den of lions right now.

Like, you are in the heart of the great forest surrounded by enemies. Yeah, so Billy's like, well, thank you very much for the beautiful ceremony. I will go also to my work. I love that Billy's saying this to her as she's walking away. So slow. He's saying it, like, to her back as she waddles away. Yeah, and then she says nothing so Billy, like, veers off and goes and finds Elmond. Who's, like, standing nearby near the door, basically, to this chamber.

This old woman, is this the woman I peed on? I put my arm under the animal? Yes, yes. Okay, right. So I'm checking with her. This is the old woman you pissed on. Yeah. But yeah, Elmond is there. He looks kind of nervous. Um, did we do something wrong? I, I, I, it's hard for me to say. Not many speak of Illyana within the walls of this garden. I, I myself know very little. Are we not allowed to? Based on the reaction of First Gardener Malgath, I would suggest you express caution.

Who are those, like, non-priest dudes who are in the mess hall? Those are delegates of the Sun Peaks. They usually in here? No. I have no idea why they would be here. Hmm. Shit. Unless, and he looks to the three of you, alarmedly, unless… Go on. Oh, I figured that that would be enough. Yeah. To suggest that maybe it was, maybe it was connected to you. You're gonna spell it out for me? Oh, okay. Okay. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just, I know as adventurers you're used to, um, dramatic pauses, so I'm trying to, uh, insert some dramatic pauses into my speech. You did a great job. Thank you. He's read a lot of Dick and Benjamin. I see, I see. Oh, okay. A lot of contraband, contraband paperback novels that get snuck into the forest. They're all fanfiction of Dick and Benjamin. So, what now? Is the, the tree in this chamber? No, the tree is, like, outside the chamber. Okay. This is, like, still part of the structure.

Yeah, the tree is kind of, like, on, it's, like, in the center, but it's kind of on its own. Like, the cloister and surrounding areas, I imagine, were, like, the roots of the tree kind of come out a bit. Yeah. Like, that, it's more attached to the roots than the tree. Yeah, exactly, yeah. It's a bit of a walk, I think, from, Yeah. Like, the cloister to the tree. Okay. Yeah. Not, like, an hour or anything like that.

I imagine the garden is almost, like, the size of, like, raw space, if you will, in the cemetery. Yeah, yeah. Quite large, yeah. So, if you were to enter, like, the garden to see the tree, it's very obvious that you're going to see the tree. Yeah. Like, it's, the garden, like, the tree is right in the center. Yeah. And the, and they've given a ring of space around the tree. And even over the years, as the tree grows, like, really slowly, they'll move the structures back to keep giving it space.

Cool. Ooh, yeah. Oh, and that's a huge celebration when they move it, because it shows that the tree is growing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But maybe it hasn't happened for a while. Yeah. Maybe some of the, some of the parts of this, of the, of the cloister seem, like, old. Like, they should have moved a long time ago. We are on old stone. Yeah. Still, to this day. Then, so what next? I feel like either we have to distract if we want to go to the tree, or we have to do it in secret somehow.

And what are we hoping to do to the tree, hack into it? Like, we already communed with it. You already looked at it. Uh-huh. Like, what else are we going to do to it? We still don't have all the details of what's happening with the tree. Yeah. And we need to figure out what the Gibbous Man did to it to cure it. Yeah. And we need to cure it to fix elven culture. Mm-hmm. And then we need to do that to overthrow the court. Yeah. And then we need to do that to get my gash. To get your gash done.

Mm-hmm. Um, is there, like, a library or, like, a place with records in this area? Yeah, oh, and then it goes, oh, um, yes, there is. And it takes you through the hallways of the cloister, past some guards who are like, , you know, as people walk by, they look very vigilant. Oh, so I just start saying stuff that I think is very elf-like. Uh-huh. Um, why, yes, the mung beans were quite the nicest, uh, uh, clump of beans I've had in quite some time. Mmm. Fresher than the ones we had last week.

Yes, laryngitis. Yes, yes. I also like mung beans . Elman locks eyes with a guard and says that. God. And I look forward to the beans of tomorrow. The beans of the day after that. I, bronchitis, love the beans I eat every day. And I, Giardia, am… Am aware of the beans that have passed through me. Amen. May it nurture a great tree. And may it be the evening sky. Time looks down upon me. And I bet the guards are like, alright, they're like, hmmm, alright, guess this is elves.

They do love mung beans just like me and my missus. Uh, and Elman takes you to a chamber that is absolutely full of shelves, and those shelves bear endless pine cones of varying sizes. And he goes, this is the archive, I suppose. Or, as it's called amongst the gardeners, the conery. Uh, conery. Do you read them? Yes, yes. And he takes you to a pine cone, and much like the leaves and fruits of knowledge trees that we've encountered in the past, the pine cones are covered in runes. Whoa. Oh, cool.

Hmm. And then Tuck picks it up, doesn't see the runes, and he's like, you can make a cool bird feeder, Adamus. Do you have any peanut butter? He gingerly takes it from you. Please, I would request that you be exceedingly cautious in the conery. Many of these cones are older than even First Gardener Malgaff. Hmm. This place is a trove of knowledge. Is there a pine cone that talks of gardeners past? Yes, I'm sure it does. Discern realities. Nine. Okay, one question off the list. Can I eight?

You can indeed. Ten. Whoa, ten. Holy shit. Ten. Thanks, Billy. No problem. What should I be on the lookout for? What should you be on the lookout for? Because you were talking about finding a record of gardeners past? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, so sort of using the natural, not quite library-esque, but more synergistic organization system that they have here in the conery, he tracks down a cone that contains, according to him, a great number of just names and tenures of First Gardeners, starting from now going back 2,000 years, 3,000 years. Is Ileana on that sheet? Ileana is not on the sheet. Ooh, she was scrubbed from the histories. Maybe. Mm-hmm. Or she's just notably absent. Or she was not technically a First Gardener.

Well, we do know that her vestment was different, denoting her as someone else. Yeah. Which to you would further reinforce the political motivation of her killing in that, I'm giving you a lot for this, but I feel like I just want to say it anyways, her vestment must have denoted the fact that she was a wizard. What? They knew it at the time? Oh. I thought the whole point was that they didn't know that. But why wouldn't they know it? Because back then wizards weren't, like, hated as they were.

It was pre-exist. Yeah, it was pre-exist. We keep forgetting that. Yeah, so like they existed just openly. So she was a wizard gardener. Or she was like a, um, an advisor. Because sometimes I think wizards were advisors to, like, whatever. They were hired for, like, whatever they could do. Yeah, because she obviously had some sort of special ability to commune with the tree, talk to the tree. Who's really in control here? Oh, shit. That is a very good question. This is another book.

Like, this was some time spent with the list of First Gardeners and some contemplation on your part and some reflect- probably some conversation in the room. Some hushed, like, what the fuck? It's mostly you and Elma and me and Billy are, like, playing with pine cones. Just throwing cones back and forth. Goolum! No! Good throw, Billy. Elman's, like, panting. He sees you doing this. It's fine. They're delicately handled. It's just they're- they're just pine cones. They're just little pine cones.

Exactly. They're just pine cones. Don't worry about it. Who is really in control here? I could use my tiger's eye for this. Oh! Okay. SICK! So this is gonna give you in the immediate sense. Okay, yeah. Yes. Yes. I like that. Yes! You can just tap into your eye of the tiger. Yup. And you find yourself- I go, Who's really in control here? And he's about to answer me and then I put my finger over his lips. And you close your eyes and make that connection with First Gardener Malgath.

And she is speaking to the two representatives of the Sun Peaks. They are here. I have not deduced where. Well, you must find them as soon as possible. They must be detained, says one of the members of the Sun Peaks. And the other looks uh, menacing. Finely dressed and menacing. Like that guy that people like from the Thor movies? Like Tom Hiddleston from the Thor movies. Oh yeah! Tom Hiddleston, but enough. He's got the very high like widow's peak, the long dark hair, elf classic elf.

Pointed ears, very pale. And his robe is like, sort of like very neat. It's like minimalist. I think he, yeah, I think he, it's so minimalist it's not even really a robe. It looks like it's made for him to be very mobile. Like it's kind of armor, it's kind of clothing. Ooh, cool. So sick. Who's this guy? Who's this mysterious stranger? If Tuck was watching this movie, he'd be like, who's this guy?

He's got Fing by either side of his head and he's holding his eyelids open staring into his eyes, whoa! Whoa, who's that? He tilts Fing's head towards him more. Let me look it up on IMDB. Whoa, he was in Cougar Town? Cool. Um, so they are discussing that they are looking for people that may or may not have infiltrated the garden. Mm-hmm. And that the Sun Peaks representatives want them detained immediately.

Oh shit, that means they're gonna lock down the tree if we can't get to it soon, probably. Yeah. Very well, I will have my guards spread out and maintain their vigilance as your agent conducts his investigation. And then the menacing looking elf stalks off into the halls. You have one more question. I mean, valuable? That seems to make sense, what's valuable to us? Or what's about to happen? Ooh, that one! I like that one! What's about to happen?

You would guess, based on where you know, well, how fast you know Malgath can move, where she must have been speaking to these people? We have a book? Six to seven hours before she gets back to the mess hall. Well, you've got about six to seven hours before she makes it back to the mess hall, but probably within five to ten minutes before someone checks the conery. Oh shit. What do you do? Get the hell out of here, let's move. Okay. We need to leave the library immediately. Mm-hmm. Okay.

Are you going back through the door into the corridors, or are you trying to find another way out? Is there any way out of this library? The conery. I mean, Almond looks around and sees like, windows in the vines, and you know, places to hide. Nothing that I've known, but you three are quite cunning. I'm sure you could discover an alternate route if you so chose.

The alternative is that we continue the farce that we are just regular guys, and like, try and shuffle our way into the garden to get to the tree before the next guy finds us. Mm-hmm. Just like, pretend to continue to be these continue to be laryngitis, bronchitis, and GRD. Yeah. And then try to like, get to the tree, because it feels like it is kind of just a matter of time. Yeah. Before they find us. So like, we have a window now.

Yeah, I guess if we tried to escape and failed at all, we would really expose our- we're opening ourselves up to exposure. Yeah, totally. Failure. Okay, we gotta make a move towards the tree in the garden. And we are totally disguised. We don't look like ourselves at all right now. No, we don't. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Okay, let's get out of here. Okay. Nonchalantly. Yeah, so you nonchalantly leave the conery? Too slow. Walking too slow. Yeah, I'm moving my shoulders a lot to look so nonchalant.

How's everybody moving nonchalantly as they leave? Um, the elves have like, little storage areas and like, shelving and stuff like that kind of throughout the garden that keep tools and hats and things. Mm-hmm. So Billy gets a little hat and a shovel. Uh-huh. And he's like, I think I will, uh, weed the garden near the tree. I think I also will weed the garden near the tree. He locks eyes with another guard while he says this.

Sounds like you're just making a bee line for the tree as quick as you can. 100%. Yeah. Great. Uh, okay. What would the role for this be? Perilous journey through to Kew. Yeah. Oh! Yeah. Like a short journey but perilously just try and start. I like it. It is perilous waters. I like that. I like that a lot. Uh, so perilous journey as we know. We need somebody to scout ahead, someone to navigate, and someone to manage provisions. Oh, I could take provisions. Okay.

Yours is like all of the shit that you're carrying. All the shit I'm carrying. Also I'm like, okay, like, I make sure like Tuck doesn't look too wide and Ving doesn't look too princely. Oh, right. Yeah. Gotta manage the illusions. Yeah. His finger keeps going up his nose. What's going on? Yeah. Okay, so then who's scouting ahead? I'll scout. Okay. So that means Tuck's navigating. I'll navigate. Alright, so scout ahead is 2d6 plus wisdom. Eleven. Oh! Okay. Nice.

So you choose two from the list below. You get the drop on whatever lies ahead. You discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain such as a shortcut shelter or tactical advantage. Those two. Okay. Uh, navigate is 2d6 plus intelligence. Great. Six. I aid. 2d6 plus bond. Eight. Okay. So that makes it a seven to nine which means you choose one from the list below. You happen on a discovery missed by the scout. The going is slow or you wander off course. Or you encounter a danger. Encounter a danger?

Okay. Okay, so manage provisions. 2d6 plus wisdom. Oh no. Oh, jeez. Snake eyes. Three. So you mark XP and the GM makes a move. Ooh, could I use a fair child to turn a failed roll to a seven to nine? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Okay, so the party consumes the expected amount. So you're not going to get anything great, but you're not going to get anything terrible. Yeah. Okay, so we're moving as a unit. Elman, absolutely terrified.

Trying to keep it together, be so cool and and espionage. Just a gardening unit coming through. Yeah. We're just here to garden and go outside and weed the trees. That's what we do. And the guards turn around to like watch Elman go as he's being really loud. And Billy, you're momentarily distracted by all the stuff you're carrying like your big hat. Keep falling over your face and you drop your little trowel and you look up and for a second, all of your illusions are like gone. Holy shit.

How do you what does Billy do when this happens to maintain them? He coughs really loud to try cover a fart. Okay. Obviously he coughs and then farts and at the cough is when you guys like your disguises come back. Yeah. And then the guards look at Billy when he farts. To draw their eyes away so that they don't catch you guys looking like it's a long fart too. You cough so they look at you and then you fart. Yeah. It's the perfect disguise. Oh, I really filled up on beans this morning.

I don't think I soaked them long enough. Silly me. It's a rookie mistake. Oh, you know, I've done that myself. Morning, afternoon, next. Yeah. I mean. Which means two mornings from now I'm gonna do the same thing. You know, I might be right there with you. Excuse me, boys. Well, carry on. And as you're scouting ahead, Ving, you see this sinister looking elf. He's like walking very arrogantly, I would say is the way.

He's kind of got like, you know, his shoulders back, his head kind of tilted and he's like sauntering through the corridors. This is the danger that Tuck sees. So you okay, so you get the drop on whatever lies ahead. That is the danger that Tuck has spotted. He goes, oh, fuck. There he is. And Ving, you know, it's not like you instinctually know where to go because you know the place. It's you instinctually know where to go as a man of the wild. You're like, oh, there's a predator. Whoop.

Go this way. Okay. And you find yourself basically on the threshold of the garden itself. Your shortcut is, hey, here's the garden if we want to go in here. We don't necessarily have a reason to go in here. We don't know what will be through this threshold if we do go. We should probably go in here. And you're just, you're trying to duck away from this, this sinister elf altogether. Oh yeah, 100%. And you are in garden. Elman says, I, this is quite dangerous.

Is it beneficial to you if I come along or should I stand guard here and perhaps give a signal if I see some sort of threat approaching? Yes, if you could cough fart and let us know if anybody comes, that'd be great. Cough and then fart. Yes. And not at the same time. Not at the same time. It doesn't work that way. Okay. Alright.

I will, I will stand here and I will, he like kind of just moves to the side of the door within the garden itself but like peeking through and goes, I will cough fart if danger approaches. And Tuck like clasps him on the shoulder and he wants to give him strength. So he hands him a trowel and he's like, this is a tool but it is also a weapon of your order. And then Tuck kisses him on the mouth. . And you pull away and he is beet red. But he grips the trowel so tight you hear his knuckles pop.

And then as Tuck pulls away he goes, I trust you. I trust you. And then Tuck goes, cool. And then he walks away. And we, the camera stays on Elman as he grips the trowel with both hands and watches Tuck walk away. And now we are in the garden. The rays of the sun peek through the branches of the heart tree as much as they are able. As the massive canopy stretches out not only over the garden itself but over the entire city of Heartwood. Is the garden like pretty lush?

I think like we were saying like there's space around the trunk itself that is kept relatively clear. Or at least was in days past. But there is a circle around that is full of plants. So this is like a walking garden. So it's like a butchery garden. Like these are cultivated plants. Very cultivated. Okay. Is there anything else in here? Not that you can see but it's a pretty big spot. So there might be people working on plants or in paths that you can't see or on the other side of the tree.

Is there a path through this garden? To certain alleys. Twelve. Holy shit. Yeah, fourteen. Bing's crushing it. Okay, so you get three questions. What should we be on the lookout for? What you should be on the lookout for is that you do hear some voices kind of in the distance. There's people in the garden. Whether friend or foe, nobody to tell. What here is not what it appears to be? As you're walking along this path you're like, oh there are people here.

Like you hear the voices and you're like, ah okay well you know, stay cool, stay cool. And you do sort of pass by a small, like two or three gardeners who are doing just gardener work and you recognize one through your disguise as Nesh. Oh shit. I don't remember who Nesh is then. Is he not the kid? He's a ranger that works with Wendy. Thank you. The young man. Yes. He's our friend. We don't know now. Cause Wendy betrayed us. Uh oh. And he, but he can't recognize us right now. No.

Your disguises are fully in place. Oh right, yeah. What's useful or valuable? What's useful or valuable is um, based on the voices that you can hear and the things that you can see with your elf eyes, you think that if you were to go, like you've basically got a path in your head through this walking garden to get out of sight. Of most of the people in this garden to get like a closer dash to the tree. Like if you were to go straight towards the tree. Great.

You could go all the way around to the other side. But you will be in like open land if anybody does see you. I kinda feel like I feel like it doesn't, Tuck's talking to you too guys. He's just like, I feel like it kinda doesn't matter. We just need to get to the tree as quickly as possible. I think so too. Like that guy is hunt, that beautiful, dangerous leopard of a man is hunting us. He will find us eventually. So we need to just get to the fucking tree. Yep. Okay, let's go. Okay.

Can I like trap expert first? Oh yeah, absolutely you can trap expert. Yeah! Twelve. Twelve, okay. So you get three questions. Is there a trap here? Yes. What activates it? I mean the easy answer is getting too close to the tree. So Billy is on like the edge of like the garden section, like the plant section of this place. It also feels powerful to Billy. Exactly. So Billy like stops, like you stop everybody. And you can feel that there is like, it's not as simple as approaching the tree.

Mm-hmm. What does the trap do when activated? I think if you approach this tree improperly, at its peak, at like the height, what you know about trees like this, especially old, ancient, powerful knowledge trees, is they can reject you completely. Like you will be unable to approach, you will be unable to glean any of the information, you will be unable to communicate, it will just not be interested in interacting with you at all.

And you think that because this tree is sick, it would be even more dangerous. Um, what else is hidden here? What else is hidden here is as you are like feeling this power, Mm-hmm. You feel like cold ancient wind blowing from a deep, dark place, you feel that chill Oh. Rolling off the tree itself, suggesting that there is an opening. Okay. I tell that to Vang. Hmm. Okay. Okay, so Vang's gonna use Thing Talker to talk to the plants at the edge of the garden. Mm-hmm.

And ask them to create a diversion on the other side of the garden. Okay. And I'll offer up some magic water I brought from the well on Hibernia. Whoa. Oh, cool. As a, uh, not a parlay, as a… That's a parlay. Parlay. Yeah. 2d6 plus charisma. Four. Jesus fuck. Okay. Something's happening. Uh-uh. Uh, you offer the water to the plants of this place, and what, yeah, what do you, like, say to them? I mean, give me, give me path. I am here to help the forest.

I want to cure the blight at the heart of wisdom. Mm. If you help me, I will help the forest at large. There is no help. There is no hope. The darkness has taken root, and nothing can pull it from the soil. I'm gonna try anyways and put the water on the ground. And they, they, they hungrily drink it down. Yeah. And it is gone into the earth. Nothing. You feel like a, well, not nothing. You feel something happen in, in the soil, but it doesn't feel reassuring.

But you do notice that same hunger that you felt in the tree when you tried to commune with it. Yeah. Is effective. It's protecting the plants in this place as well. Is Tuck feeling anything, like, in his chest, being so close to the tree? I think so, yeah. I think that once you, like, especially once you've entered the garden, you've been feeling this, like, sense of dread. Mm. This, like, nagging background sense of doom. Like, it's just, it does not feel good to be here. To be here? Yeah.

Am I getting, like, I feel like I might be getting kinda sick being in here. I think so, yeah. Yeah. Like, I feel like he's, like, having to hold it together. Like, if you looked at him, he'd be, like, flop sweat and, like, kinda green. Uh, yeah, I guess, like, Tuck kinda, like, he feels the sense of dread, and he sort of tries to hone in on it. Mm-hmm. Cause he could see, like, Ving, like, talking to the plants, and it's kinda, like, feels like it's not going well. Yeah.

And he's, like, fuck, we don't have a lot of time. We have to figure something out. Mm-hmm. So he, he uses TLC. Oh, sorry. Try and, like, mediate a connection, like, through this, like, sickness that is, like, infecting him while he's in here. Yeah. What does TLC look like in your disguise? Did we talk about this? It's, like, a little trowel. Yeah. Copper trowel.

It's, like, yeah, it's a little copper trowel, and there's, like, a sheath of burnished gray metal on the front of it, and there's, like, a little pommel of, like, a little purple stone on the back of it. I like it. It looks like I bedazzled a trowel. Yeah, totally. Optimize your tools, man. Yeah. That way you know they're yours. Fuck, I feel like shit. Alright, go for it. Okay. Wait, what are you rolling? TLC. Oh, you're using the move TLC.

You are initiated in the old ways, the ways of sacrifice, choose something you're gods, value, gold, blood, bones, or the like, so it's destruction for TLC. Yeah. When you sacrifice those things as per your rites and rituals, roll plus wisdom. Here we go! Fuck! Negative one. Fuck! Oh, no! Uh, yeah, cause I still have that debility to wisdom, so I, that's a five, so I fucked that up. Shit. Uh, what happens?

Well, the thing that Tuck knows is he has to, like, enact destruction, and the thing that he has that he feels like is connected to this whole thing is the obsidian coins. So he takes one of the six that's in the bag, and he uses TLC to just, like, smash it against the ground. Okay. So. Billy is kind of doing, like, uh, spiritual overwatch, more or less, like, keeping an eye on the, on the metaphysical layer of this. Mm-hmm. Um, Ving has just attempted to commune.

He's trying to keep, uh, keep an eye out with the, the plants. He's trying to, like, convince them, but they're sick and twisted. Right. And you've poured this water into the earth, this spiritual water, and Tuck smashes the coin, and that bitter wind that Billy feels rolling off the tree intensifies. Mm-hmm. And as this water soaks into the soil, the spiritual water from the Isle of Hibernia, signaling to the tree and the sickness exactly where you are, Oh.

The ground beneath you begins to fissure and shake. Oh, shit. And you fall into the earth. And as you fall, you hear a cough and a fart. You just did. And I think that's where we're gonna leave it. Really? Okay, yeah, that's great. Okay, great. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me is always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz. So long. Playing Ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers. Take care. Playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone.

Thank you, as always, to Aaron Reid for our incredible intro and outro music. You can find all of Aaron's original music at aaronreid.bandcamp.com and all of the music that he has produced for the show, at soundcloud.com. You can also join us on Patreon with all of our other supporters from around the world to get access to stuff like a whole bonus campaign set in the High Spear Mall featuring the Cool Treat Kids. You can get merchandise. You can get stories. Writing the Almanac. Postcards.

Postcards. Sent to you in the mail. Yep. Lovingly addressed by me all the time. Wait, that sounds really mean. I didn't mean it like that. All the fucking time. All the fucking time. All right, I'll address one. No, it's fine. We sent out merch at the Monarch tier. This month, we sent out keychains. We're kind of behind. We sent out some really cool keychains. But they had a tag in it that talked to the computer and then leads you to a website.

Like a MySpace page where all the cool kids hang out. Yeah. Actual magic. Oh, and this month I'm gonna be sending out some t-shirts. Oh, yeah. More t-shirts. T-shirts for the Monarchs. And then at higher levels, things like a monthly game GM'd for your friends and you by myself and or Abdulaziz. So if you want to check that out, check us out at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. And last of all, thank you to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time.

And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost, we may be for times abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I gladly Spout Lore.

Spout Lore is only made possible through the contributions of listeners like you. If you would like to donate, please go to Spout Lore dot com slash money, please, or patreon dot com slash Spout Lore. And if you go there, you'll get a bunch of bonus content, too, which is nice. It's good bonus content. I work really fucking hard on it. A thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name. You know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute. He knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief. His tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest, they may not be. But their friendship outweighs. They're smart. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hey, how's it going? And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello, everybody. When last time, I was a thief. When last we left… I don't know why I didn't expect that. It's been a while. It has been a while. When last we let… I lost one. Do we have more dice to dump out?

I mean, Jessica's was open, but not dumped out. Maybe she didn't want them dumped out. Yeah, no one asked me. Yeah. We choose for you, Jessica. I appreciate it. It's so much easier on my little brain. When last we… Finally. We respect Jessica so much. I want everyone to know that. Oh, my God. When last we left our heroes, they had been betrayed. Sorry, there's more dice. Okay. We don't need all of these dice. Where's the middle dice? We used two D6s. Here's the middle ones. Oh, my God.

Those are really heavy. Sean, but what if we need a D20 at some point? We'll never need a D20. Today could be the day. I bet you we'll need a D20 once when I do… When? When? When? When? When? When? When? When? When? When? When? When? When? When? When? When? We won't because it unbalances everything. Why would we do that? Sean, you're so mad. Sean, who here has a master's degree in math? You, I guess. Who has a game master's degree in dice? Oh, yeah. Amazing. That's really funny. Fuck.

When last we left our heroes. Betrayal. Tacoma Dome soared through the air after being betrayed by Wendell Ari of the Ranger Corps. Yeah, I didn't see it coming at all. You didn't? Yeah. Nice. Yeah. I love truly betraying you when you didn't expect it. Sent down to the ground, Tacoma Dome was overcome with a vision of darkness, a void, his lungs being filled with liquid, and then seeing a burning tree above him.

The party reconvened through measures that involved them hearing Tuck bellow, Wendy betrayed us at the top of his lungs. Like an angry child at his birthday party. You just learned the word betrayed. He's not even sure what it means. Yeah. Who didn't win the pass the parcel? You betrayed me! And they all arrived momentarily to fight a bunch of guards at the Cloister. The fight went fairly well.

You were able to both fight off and contain a number of guards before escaping through a secret door into the innermost cloister of the heart tree. Once inside the garden itself, you came upon Elman, a young idealistic gardener who Billy had been following through the fairy realm. Upon being told of your great quest to save the people of the great forest and the tree itself, Elman, very enthusiastically and perhaps naively, said, There's a woman inside.

Investment vines which formed to you immediately and also help you with some biological processes which some people took more advantage of than others tuck summoning an ungodly amount of piss to dump into these vines elman was able to throw off the attentions of first gardener malgath but not before ving was able to fling a bit of investment piss do onto her marking her with the eye of the tiger it is really funny that we created a monastic order that was at the center of an aeon old civilization and then immediately made them piss monks uh yeah well you know that's the the spell or guarantee is we will make all of your most important figures piss themselves for fun your important physics yeah unfortunately yeah uh and after a nice night of sleeping in this guy's bed while he slept on the floor oh no he shared a bed with tuck yeah we shared oh right yes yeah I forgot the specifics of the bed configuration head to toe or no just spooning him he was doing the thing where he wiggles his hips into me pretty hard he's a monk he doesn't see a lot of other he doesn't get a lot of human contact does not know what it's doing what is it doing on this end it's it's there's a there's some better to fill my suit yeah tuck's been on a very special kind of journey over the course of the show whoa this suit soaks up more than just piss oh my god did you just come into your suit very not sure uh horrific uh a little strawberry formed oh god what the fuck That's for some reason the worst.

Why did you ruin such a good food? And the window began a tapping. Oh, Ving got a vision. Oh, right. This is very important. Yeah. Ving, instead of sleeping, chose to use this time to, uh, meditative state and was gifted a vision of Ileana and Nathaniel many years ago. Ileana in her capacity as a gardener here in Hartwood city. And Nathaniel as a young military man, it seemed like he was less, uh, disheveled, distraught. Yeah. He looked more put together.

Cause it was like, he, you know that thing where it's like a hard guy gets a partner and then like softens and then it's like, maybe the world is okay. Yeah. And then everybody's favorite trope. And then that partner dies and he turns into the punisher. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. That the vision, uh, mostly concerned Ileana telling Nathaniel that the, the court wasn't going to listen.

And then, and that they were going to destroy themselves, uh, and that she just wanted to bail and let them do it. And Nathaniel said, no, we can make them listen. We can show, we can fix this. And then the window began to tap in and we were gifted with the arrival of a one Oman, the bookworm tuck rushes forward, forgets to open the window, smashes through, grabs Oman, crushes him to death. Yeah. Can I, can I roll to delicately grab Oman first? Through, through the window? Oh yeah.

He's got a smash through the window. Yeah, I guess so. You love giving yourself the opportunity to make a mistake. I like, I like a challenge. It's not a challenge. Okay. Duty six plus dexterity. I guess this is a challenge situation cause you have to bust through the window and then grab a little soft, little cute, little worm. I want to be clear. You don't have to bust through the window. I'm going to bust through the window. It's just so funny. Okay. All right, here we go.

Two D six plus dexterity. Oh, seven, zero seven. So seven to nine. I pushed Jessica and Paul to the ground. What are you talking about? Jessica and Paul? You pushed the actors, Jessica and Paul to the ground through the fourth wall. Tuck punches the window so hard. He breaks the fourth wall. Oh my God. You went through too many pains. Roll D six. Four. Four damage. Yeah. Yeah. So your hand is just bleeding immediately. You're just covered in blood. Yeah.

And then I take that bloody hand and I offer it to Oman. And you can see Oman's like flapping above your hand. And you can see on his little worm face, a face that sounds like, Ooh, he flits past you into the room. I wanted to see if I, the reason why Tuck was so amped to get it is to see if, uh, Maresh had written him anything. Uh, yeah, he flies right past into the room. When he flies past me, I go, if there's, if there's anything on there from Maresh, it's for me. So nobody read it.

He dibs on the note. So he's just kind of fluttering around the room looking for a play, a safe place to land. What news you bring? Many words from master librarian. Offer a finger. And he unfurls his wings. Oh my God. And they are absolutely chalk full crammed. Oh my gosh. With librarian shorthand. Oh, cool. So it is, I mean, you all look at this and you go, Oh, that's librarian shorthand. Like this is like, they're basically coded note taking method that none of us were taught.

What thing was a silent? Yeah. Yeah, totally. You learn the martial arts, martial arts, but you're not a researcher. So maybe I know what, like it says, like slap foot, you're able to pick up the things that say punch, but there isn't unfortunately very much something about a hole punch here, but it's something that you could, you could probably decode over time. It's just not going to be like super simple to read right away.

Can I try to go into my mind palace and to all bed and see if I can find all of the times that far tried to teach us short. Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah. So this will be a defy danger intelligence. So you like sift through your daydreams. Are you going to get the board, the pizza palace in your mind with all the tucks? Yeah. The sit down pizza. How did my, my balls laughing really hard. The pizza pie, my balance with the pizza. Yeah, that sit down pizza, bad pizza in my mind.

It's gotta be a sit down pizza. It's not a fucking pizza hut express. There's Jessica spilled. It's like the name of a fucking vinyl cafe. Short story collection. The sit down pizza hut in my mind. Oh God damn it. Uh, I don't know. I mean, I can't answer that question. Seven years in, I cannot answer that question for you. Okay. So here's what I was thinking is you guys asked a lot of questions. Yeah. So far returned with, with a lot of information. Do you remember all the questions?

I wrote it down. Oh, he asked you up. I went back and I listened. You did. Unfortunate. No, you started asking you up and then you guys like erase some stuff. Like you're like, no, we got it. He saw us. He saw us erase it. That's embarrassing. Uh, things. Mom is a wizard. What do you know of wizards creating life? Have you heard of the Iliana's? She may have created me was harbored by a Druid family. What do you know of the Ranger attack on the Iliana's and the Island of Hibernia?

Uh, well, that is a lot. So this is what I was thinking is like, do we, do we do one role that unlocks all of the information on the wings? Or are we trying to decode the different messages? Can we each try and remember the shorthand? Well, let's see what happens with the first role. Like we're not going to roll them all at the same time, unless we all want to go to the sit down pizza hut and tux mind. Oh my God. I mean, you've got, you've got the rings. This is what the rings are for.

This is my version of communion of the sit down pizza. My mind. D sixes. Uh, yeah, I guess. Yeah. How are we structuring this? I guess it's just, well, so it'll start. Not all of you have to roll, but like, so tuck can roll and then you guys can be there. Okay. And then if tuck requires help in the sit down pizza hut, then you can roll. Okay. Yeah. What am I rolling? Plus intelligence. Yeah. Remember it's mine. Tell us it's been, it's book stuff. Exactly. Meaning is one of the virginity days.

Yeah. Okay. We got to stop calling them there, but, but Hey, eight minus one is seven. Fuck. Still a seven to nine. Still a seven to nine. You know what? Not bad. Yeah. Yeah. So we go to the, the sit down pizza hut in tuck's brain. What do we see? Pizza. Uh huh. Yeah. It's lunchtime. So there's a seven 99 pizza hut buffet. Yeah. So there's a lunch rush. The pizzas are plates. And then you pile on a salad and pasta onto the pizza. Onto the pizza is a plate. Getting it back to tables. Hot. Yeah.

Yeah. It's very hot. Yeah. I love that. Great. And, uh, we see, uh, in the corner next to the street fighter two machine, uh, a table. There's a tuck in like board shorts and like an upside down visor. Yeah. Playing the street fighter two machine. Uh, just button mashing. You just got a button mash. And there's a table very much like the desk of master librarian, Farah Margani. Oh.

Uh, and at that table sits Tacoma dome and across from him, uh, Tacoma dome, but in a long gray wig with a robe, a golden rod, a golden rod hem. Just dress like fair. Yeah, exactly. Okay. I believe that this is locked within your mind to Tacoma. You just got to look a little bit closer. Thank you. Tacoma. Please call me master librarian, Farah Margani. Thank you. Master librarian, Farah Margani. And then he says, I appreciate you teaching me to read. And then he touches, the other Tacoma gently.

And he looks into your eyes and he brushes the gray wig hair out of his face. And then Tacoma reaches forward and puts it back. And then another Tacoma starts playing saxophone. Kenny. And he pulls his hand away. No, we have to focus. We can't fuck like we do every time you come here. The analogy, he's getting very confused in Tuck's mind. This is why it's a seven tonight. He can't remember what were dreams and what was reality and what only happens in the sit down pizza hut in his mind. Yeah.

For, I don't know what is dream and what is reality here. And then he touches his face gently. He touches the saxophone, his face. All I know is every moment with you is a dream come true. He touches the saxophone. He's like, why don't you get in here too big? Jing, jing, jing as the door opens. And then Billy and Vinger. We should not have brought you here. Nobody should see this. I shouldn't see this. Billy and Ving, you are in a pizza hut. Yeah.

Full of Tacoma domes of different clothing and style. Billy doesn't even recognize it. He just sees pizza plates. It's like, I've never seen something so good. It goes for it. And there's a, there's a Tacoma dome. There in a full chef's outfit with a chef hat and a, and a mustache over his beard. And he goes, Hey, slow it down. I've had a pizza for everyone. I'm sorry. Uh, and yeah, tuck. You are sitting at this table with the shorthand lesson as you kind of half remember it in front of you.

Okay. And Ving and Billy have arrived. I did grab one of the textbooks that's on the table. I put it on my lap and I'm like, Hey guys. And we were sitting at a desk across the restaurant and talking to a different talk. And we're like, Oh, what? Oh, what? Oh yeah. That one has a, one of those green visors on and like a calculator in front of them. Cause he's got some questions about his expenses. Yeah. He's got to get it sorted out. Oh, he's not going to give you good advice.

You're not going to get the answers you're looking for. Yeah, guys, I'm trying to figure this thing out. So what do I get out of this? Uh, so what you get, okay, so the seven to nine here is that we're in the pizza palace and this is where we're getting this information. Can I present the things that I get? Like the gist of it to Billy and Ving in this palace of knowledge that I have constructed for myself and be like, can you guys figure more out? We all add our own bits of knowledge here.

Can we go into each other's mind palaces? Can we, can we in step further? Yeah, totally. Cause our restaurant might not be, it's a hut. Yeah, it could be so many other places. Okay. What if, okay, we are incepting right now. I do want to find that we're doing an inception right now. Uh, so how I was thinking about it was when we were in the library. Remember if you spent a day researching in the library, you got a 10 plus on a Spout Lore. Oh yeah.

So I think that's basically what you're getting is you can pick, each of you can pick one of the questions maybe to get a full. Oh yeah. Debrief on. So the information that you're getting, from the bookworm, which is being told to you by far a Margani, of course, because she's here presenting that information to you is a hotter, more muscular. Uh, the, it sounds like in the shorthand that you can decode that she kind of got like an all hands situation to help you with this information. Cool.

What's that mean? It means that she considered this important enough that she was pulling in different departments. Like she pulled in all working groups and was like, you know, we need to get them answers to these questions. Sick. Yeah. We're, we're important assets. Oh my God.

So the attack on Hibernia was, um, they believe politically motivated based on sort of the climate in the great forest at the time, though records are sparse because the elves have always been fairly isolationist and their information has always been held very tightly. Uh, but librarians that were placed in the forest at the time, uh, reported that there was a strife between the Vox Populi and the Vox Silvi because around that time.

So this was what I was saying earlier is the runes on the great tree have been overgrown for so long that there was a point in Elvin politics where it became no longer about following the words of the heart tree. And it became about interpreting the words of the heart tree because they weren't as simple to read. So people started putting their own spin on things and the gardeners began to have more power.

Uh, and then as that became more important, members of the court began putting their own gardeners in place so they could control the word, at least according to the librarians that were here at that time, got all purple monkey dishwasher. Exactly. Yeah. And then every once in a while someone would be like selling purple monkey dishwashers. So of course it would be, you know, that kind of thing. Yeah.

So there was a degree to which like, Oh, Ileana is an abomination because, she is a wizard and we kill wizards. But the underlying is she is trying to take power away from us specifically. Not that her magic is unbalancing the world, but she is specifically trying to take power away from the court. Do they know what faction within the Elvin court? Oh, like which like members of the court at the time? Yeah.

I don't know if that's important, but like, who are the players that like were anti Ileana? Oh, that's a good question. I don't know. What if it's the Royal family? Like the prime Royal family? Yeah. And Nathaniel stays in his role because he's, he's kind of like the only one, um, like he wants to like protect the tree. So he's like, if I step away, then like all that's left is like the other people in my family to do what they want.

Oh, you know what I never thought of, but I don't, I do kind of like, is that because we've talked about how it's different territories. Like Nathaniel is the king of the, the Boreal reach, but that they are all related, related, that they're all siblings and stuff like that. It's not like separate families. Like it's like cousins and brothers and sisters. Like Nathaniel's family is in charge of the Boreal reach and the wicks are in charge of like a different region. Yeah, totally.

The wicks and, uh, Nathaniel, like they're still related. Yeah. They're like cousins. Yeah, totally. So is it all the rest of the siblings then? Yeah, I think maybe, I think there, there was one other fan and maybe it was the wicks. Like I think the wicks maybe supported Nathaniel at the time. Oh, cool. That's fun. So sick. So fucking sick. That's why the name was so connected. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. And they're kind of like Nathaniel. The wicks are kind of like assholes.

Well, like assholes, but also kind of folk heroes to some people because they were like supporting the people at the time. They wanted the power to be in the wood and in the trees. Uh, whereas the nobles wanted more and more power for themselves. It would be interesting. And this is not related to this question at all, but like if the wicks were the, like you remember when the war started, like some Rangers had to go out and deal with the wizards. Yeah.

It would be interesting if that was the role that the wicks took upon themselves. Oh yeah. Which is why it was Shathane who like was out in the world. Yeah. They were like the hunters. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Uh, okay. Yeah. So I think that's what you're going to get for that. Cool. Does that answer the question? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like the rest of Nathaniel siblings other than like the wick family. Yeah. Like essentially betrayed him. So it's like a familial like betrayal. Yeah, totally.

And some of them, I think the ones that directly were like sending Nathaniel to go kill Ileana are still alive. I think maybe one or two of them are dead. Okay. Yeah. Just by intrigue, natural causes, that kind of stuff. But there is still like a little finger in the court. Oh yeah. Totally. Yeah. Can we get a name for that? A name for, for the, the like person, the little finger. Oh, um, yeah, totally. Uh, Solana. Oh, that's nice. What is Nathaniel's last name? Yeah.

What is, I was trying to think of that too. What is Nathaniel's last name? We've never said that he has a last name. Oh, okay. It's not Zumba. No. Oh, was that from, Zumba was the, was the Elvin name. Yeah. Okay. His last name Zumba. Okay. It's Nathaniel Zumba. We haven't said that. Hilarious. Nathaniel Van Zumba. That's what it is. Van Zumba, yeah. Oh my God. I'm so sorry everyone. No, it's very funny. Uh, so it's, so it'd be Solana Vang something. Kieran. Yeah. Like C-Y-R. Yeah.

Solara Vang Kieran, queen of the sun peaks. Oh, I like that. Yeah. Paul's doing tit stuff. I love when Paul does tit stuff. Yeah. Queen of the sun peaks. Which I think is like a, when we read the name, tuck goes in the, in the pizza pass goes, ha ha ha. Uh, so yeah, I, and I think the sun peaks are a more mountainous region of the wood. Like they like it. They're, they're called that because like every peak of every tree in this, on this mountain is touched by the sun.

Like it's, it's a very elevated place in the wood. Yeah. So icy. Oh yeah, totally. Yeah. But it's like, Oh, but we're still, Oh, we get so much natural sunlight that like, Ooh, we can still grow stuff. So glittery. They probably got like a aerial, like raised greenhouses and stuff like that to like take advantage of all that light. Oh, cool. There's like helium bladders that like, Oh, I kinda like that. Yeah. That some of them are like straight up floating. Yeah. Yeah. They could ride on them.

Thermals. Ooh. Oh, their tree gliders are probably so fucking skilled cause they like, ride the thermal waves and stuff like that. They're probably a little polar ones like white and fluffy. Yeah. They maybe can fly higher too because they are used to the thermal so they don't have to be in the trees. Cute. So cool. We did. We're doing it. We're world building. Oh yeah. Okay, here we are. We're back baby. Okay. So that is that question. Okay.

You get the answer that it was not just culturally motivated, quote unquote. There was a political aspect to the death of Ileana. Yeah. So Lara van Kirk. So Lara van, uh, Vang Kiran, queen of the Sun Peaks who is still alive. And I guess if we're going to retcon was present at the beginning of the trial of the three of you, I guess. Yeah. Makes sense. Technically would have been there or maybe no, she wasn't there. Why not? It wasn't it like a gather. Oh, okay.

She was supposed to be there, but she wasn't cool. Hmm. So is that a hand reaches across the table to, to rest on yours? Does that answer your question? And then I lean in and go, my kid wasn't here. I'd fuck you so hard. Right? And then a John's hand darted away from a dual so fast and then brushed away a piece of hair on your forehead.

And then I, because I talk in a pizza height uniform shows up and goes, we're closing, we're closing out, we're closing everybody out and we are slammed back to elements chambers. What is, is Elman seen this whole time? He's standing there gently sipping from the sleeve of his vestment vine. As you stand stock still in the middle of the room, our heads are kind of cocked to the side and tilted back and her eyes are rolling in her head.

Billy's going, we're all rubbing these rings on her hands and he's just like being is high-fiving and like almost falling over. Incredible. Tuck is pissing himself. That just as the stories described, he's like, unintelligible, but of course the motivations of adventures such as these would be quite unknowable to people like me. Billy's eating a shoe, but you've still got a wings full of information.

If you so choose to investigate it now, I want to look at those wings, two to six plus, I guess a Spout Lore makes more sense. Really? I like to spell lower about what's on those wings. Yeah. Now that tuck has been able, to decode some of the shorthand. You can just Spout Lore. Okay, so two to six plus intelligence. Seven plus intelligence. I got a six. Can I help? Yes, absolutely. Or can tuck help? I would love to help. Okay. Yes, two to six plus bond. Let me help you with that reading big boy.

Come in behind him. You can you reach around him and open his eyes even wider. Put your hands underneath my neck scarf and come out of my sleeve. This is my glasses on his face. So a failure. I am comfortable with that. Meaning that just one of the questions is an answer. You don't want to get. Okay. Yeah. What question would you like answered? Oh, I was going to something about creating. What do you know of Wizards creating life? Yeah. Yeah, like why? What's the motivation?

Why would she have done? That sort of thing? Yeah, totally. So yeah, with the with the failure far in the shorthand says evidence of Wizards creating life absent completely perfect life considered near impossible through Thaumaturgy Gollum's closest approximation considered quote unquote Holy Grail of Thaumaturgy. Cool research and then after that it says absent and then it says suspiciously absent. Oh, it sounds like they couldn't find any references to it, right?

Because when the library was burned the first time the torch scrubbed parts of the stacks like there were a lot of books that were destroyed. Do you think that maybe he scrubbed this part on purpose? I bet. Yeah, because the like the torch it was a part of the dark art, right? So he was taking yes. Yeah, he was taking commands from the gibbous man. So, if they give us man wanted evidence of like this thing scrubbed, he could have done it. Cool. Mm-hmm. Then Jessica you get one too.

Okay, what of the questions do you wish to be what's left? So what is left is what have you heard of the Ileana's? Let's try. Why not? See? Yeah, 2d6 plus intelligence for a spell or 12. Let's go to 12 close enough 10. That's 10. Tell it shit. Hold on. Hold on. This is not fair. Yeah, it's not fair. I'm practicing how read in secret. Wow. Yeah, in the mind Palace. You're a genius. Yeah, his mind Palace is soup. Wait, just like swimming around in soup.

Yeah, I'm like he gets like the little spaghetti and he floats in it. Oh my God, like, you know, a potato like comes by eats potato. Yeah, there's a little celery. It's celery. El Faggetti. So yeah, so it's a read everywhere. It's shorthand. El Faggetti. That's so cute. So that's all the letters in the noodles are spelling out the information in a way that Billy can can read it like way in the distance of the soup. You hear tuck and Ving freaking out. What the fuck is happening?

Oh my God, you can't swim. It's so hot. It's so hot. So back in the room, Elman just sees Billy still going. But the information that Billy gets from this is you get in the it's like jazz. The things that far I didn't write down suggest that when she got this information, she lost her mind, but she does say like Ileana's cast out of Oval Council name translates to bear keeper or something like that. Like if they're like, the oldest druids and then they have the constellations.

What if sex of druids came from like the constellations that they read? Yeah, that each of the different grades were like constellations. Yeah, I like that. And that's like a natural connection to like the demons. Yeah, because the demons are also like the different icons are represented by constellations as well. Yeah, which is a throwback to old druid acknowledge, right? Yeah, that's cool. This shows their early connection. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, then that means yeah, because that's cool.

Because then there's a constellation of like the deer constellation of the deep were like the deep walkers, right? Yeah, I like that. The idea that like bear Surrounder bear keeper. Yeah, just that the night sky is the keeper of everything on the planet or on this place. The bear was considered like the overarching like spiritual Guardian of the material plan. Ooh, you know, there's that like myth that there is like a bear that will eat the moon one day.

Yeah, and maybe that came from the fact that the constellation of the bear. There was always surrounding Lillian's moon like in a protective capacity and when it shattered the bear disappeared like the entire constellation was gone. Oh and maybe that might have been at least. Oh, that's a cool idea. Yeah, that might have been part of the reason that the Illyana's were cast out of like the council because like when the moon shattered in the bear disappeared.

They were like, oh you're fucking out whatever that means not good for you get out of here. Mm-hmm. Is after the moon shattered. That's when they made a deal with the gray. Yeah, they shrouded the islands so they couldn't see the stars anymore. Anyways, yeah, the shattering of the moon. What I was gonna say is also that it brought up an older sect of something that was a bit more superstitious. Mm-hmm. It's like all of a sudden if astronomers astrologers are like put up as our highest.

Yeah, yeah, totally intellects. Yeah, absolutely. Well, and it kind of it's interesting because it kind of parallels the court in a way right as they couldn't see the stars anymore. So they were basing it all on themselves just like the court can't read the runes anymore. So they're like coming up with shit. Oh, it's almost like someone is obfuscating knowledge that has to do with the night sky.

Ooh, and like the gibbous man has been actively destroying the other sources of guidance like where the night sky is almost guidance from both the spirit realm and the iconic realm. The knowledge trees are guidance from the spirit realm. Like it's like the stars. Yeah, even like the Sea of Braves. You can't like read the sea and like the constant storm also like covers up the sky totally in the runes themselves. And the pillars are like indecipherable.

Yeah, because you can't even get close enough to them. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Pretty sweet. Mm-hmm. Okay. So to further answer the question, I think the Iliad is I like the translation of Iliad meaning mother bear. Mm-hmm. And I think that their role in hibernian society at the time was the Shepherds of like the spiritual connection of the island.

Like they were the custodians of the islands actual connection to the spirit realm because as we know, via Billy's interaction with the fairies that place is very spiritually resonant. And I think the Iliad is were meant to be the ones that like directly took care of that. There are also connections to the myths of the lunar bear and stuff like that and how they were the ones that supposedly tended a great bear that slept beneath the island itself.

So yeah, that is that is that is primarily what you get on the Iliad front. Although that's a 10. It's got to be something useful. Yeah, so I think maybe yeah. Hmm. Oh, what if it was like a postscript? That like Pharaoh wrote just for Billy like in runic language. Yeah, it's just that or I was saying to Sean the other day.

I was like, what if Oman has like a tiny little like rolled up excerpt like tied to one of his legs or something or his back and it's like fair would never usually ever do this, but she knows it's so important. So she like sent like an original excerpt and like, oh, I we can't read this. We need Billy to look at it. Oh, I like that. I like that. I like that. That's a 10 plus. That's a 10 plus for sure.

So you see you get Billy is like in his suit Palace reading the reading the noodles and there's a giant Oman like flitting above him Billy. I come to you with great knowledge. And then in the distance you hear tuck go. I drown out tuck screams. Tell me Oman look upon my little butt. I am looking and you see in the soup Palace turns around and then peeks back a bit with one finger on his lips.

Yeah, and you see tied to him with a delicate silk strand a rolled up piece of parchment and I grab it because I don't know space and time doesn't matter and it is written in the fairy language. Is this from an excerpt from a fairy book? Or from like a runic manuscript?

Um, I think it would be kind of amongst like those like fairy pages that you remember like there's that room Billy was hanging out in and there is like pages and like little booklets that I guess the librarians didn't really know what to do with because they couldn't decipher it. But Billy was like, oh, this is fairy language. So he could read it. Okay, cool. What if those pages were made out of like felled knowledge trees? Yeah, so it's like it's like the all the really thin bark.

Yes, like shave. Like our view to spark. Yeah, that's a great idea. And it was like it used to be other books, but that ink faded in the runes remained. Huh? Hmm. Cool.

Okay, so Billy, I assume still in the suit Palace still partially in the suit Palace partially climbing Ving to read this parchment unrolls it and anyone in the room would see that it is in that sort of strange runic style that fairies right in the sort of like twisty Ogham like branching things that just communicate an idea instead of having to be read like words. They're written in the in the grains of the wood.

Oh, yeah, totally and Billy you are inundated with a fragment of verses written a thousand years ago by a fairy who came to the material plane at a very tumultuous time in this planets history and the words that you receive are chains broken became chains forged when moon threw off her yoke. Other night was cast away to walk among the folk. Whoa, my God wrote that in like two minutes. Holy shit. Now, I'm hard. So that is the information that you receive.

So the gibbous man does not want to be here. Yeah, so it's like he didn't willingly come to the physical realm. Maybe he's trapped in our realm in some form. No, because it's like chains broken. That's Lillian. Yeah, that's chimes freeing Lillian and then to become chains forged. Like what if I mean, it could mean that Lillian was chained up again or it could be referring to the gibbous man or that the freeing of Lillian were changed for somebody else. Yes, they give us man in some way.

Yeah, I think that's what it is. I think when chimes broke Lillian's chains that like when he broke the cage that Lillian was in the side effect of that was that the gibbous man was chained up again. The gibbous man was chained to the material realm and he's been forced to walk as like a material aspect all of these years and maybe that's what this is all about. Maybe he's trying to get back to what he was before eternal. It's not necessarily that he's trying to wreck the physical plane.

He's just trying to get himself out. Yeah, he's trying to collapse all of the different realms back into one. So maybe that's how he, well, if you think about it, like Jessica was saying like where it's like gods can be split into different aspects and dimensions and facets. Like if that event split the gibbous man then shoving all of the different realms back into the same thing allows him to naturally like reintegrate with the rest of himself. Yeah, is that right?

Is that I'm going to let you guys connect these dots. Can I use bardic lore to? I because I have gods and their servants and histories of the grand world to like get a firm answer on what this means in history. Can you read the specifics of bardic lore one more time? Because there's kind of it's kind of like you can't ask questions about a thing forever when you defend you always get a plus one hole. There it is. Okay, perfect. Then yeah, go for it.

Yeah, when you first encounter an important creature location or item covered by your bardic lore, you can ask the GM any one question. About it. The GM will answer truthfully. The GM may ask you what legend song or tale you heard this information in. Hmm. Do we think that this applies within the words of bardic lore? I do.

I mean, I think yeah, I mean like it's it's tuck interpreting a poem, but the sliver of the fairy tale is is definitely there's definitely songs about yeah, like the fairy tales encompass so much magical language and yeah fantastical songwriting. Tuck is also walked the road for so many years and just sat around so many campfires where people have just told stories that have just been propagating through the world.

Yeah, and I'm sure a lot of those stories come from fairy folk tales totally like a fairy trades a story to a person for a favor kind of thing. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I think unless okay, this is a good payoff for receiving the library's information after all this time. I think. Unless you uncover a similarly huge piece of information like other ancient art or tales or somebody that was alive at the time. This might be coming up on the end of the questions.

You can ask about the gibbous man specifically. Okay, you're going to have to uncover something serious. Okay, you want to ask more questions? You know what I mean? That makes sense. Yeah. Okay. What do you want to know? Okay, so we're floating in like the infinite palace plane of soup. Yeah, Palace is maybe a strong word for. One person ocean. I'm calling them all palaces. All the soup ocean.

Yeah, and Ving and I have like finally like found an ode that we consider being found a door, but there's not enough room on it for tuck. You've been reenacting that scene Titanic. Yeah, tuck is drowning in chicken broth right now. Tuck. There's a bunch of bubbles of rise up around tuck and things like I get it. The fart of the ocean. I'm pretty good. Pretty good. You hear it go. Ha, ha, you can smell it. All the ha ha ha letters pop up. LOL. We really like that.

It's really I mean, it's really funny. Very funny. Okay, but yeah, we're all like we've tethered all of our like letters together. We're all floating looking at the sky. Yeah, we're like, I think the verses that Billy is reading are kind of like projected across. The sky and tuck. What is what is a good question here? I like that. The sky is wings. Mind Palace. Oh, yeah, it's like a lovely beautiful cumulus cloud.

Yeah, openness becomes a blending of Billy's soup ocean and then like the night sky or not the night sky, but the sky. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, the eternal sky and morning sky. Yeah. Can you read the verses one more time? Yeah, chains broken became changed forged when moon through. Offer yoke father night was cast away to walk among the folk. This might be a useless question. This is your last one.

All right, so tuck is like very like like stupid like he's very he's like, I think tuck is way smarter than he gives himself credit for I know but like tuck is like grounded in the tangible right? Yeah, so he like looks at this poem and then he focuses in. On the chains part of it because like those are that's like what he understands as this like street kid from McCall is like being trapped being chained.

He understands the weight of something like chaining you to something else and how important those chains are when you're trapped. So he's just like what are the gibbous man's chains? Hmm. Who good question. Jin. Hmm. So you would believe based on everything you've learned the stories that you've read the fact that you've spoken with ancient beings directly involved in these situations and based on this very knowledge that the gibbous man as punishment was chained to the material plane.

By Lillian. Whoa, huh? She turned it around on him. Yeah, you don't know the specifics of how that would work metaphysically or why but that is what the story is suggesting the chains broken the act of breaking whatever hold the gibbous man had on Lillian at that time whether it was through the deal that chimes made with the sea or the actual power that was being discharged Lillian was able to use that to punish her. She was able to use that to punish her. She was able to use that to punish her.

She was able to use that to punish her. She was able to use that to punish her. Father. So that means that the gibbous man intentionally killed Lillian to try and break his chains probably if it was her who chained him to this plane. And then he tried to tear her apart to get back to I mean, maybe we don't know. We don't know the details around any of those other events like the death of Rian or the grieving. We only have some information. Mm-hmm. But what you have determined is that.

It's very likely almost certain in your mind based on the mind of someone that has known chains in the past has has lived a life of like internment or imprisonment. Yeah, you would guess that that is what the story is trying to convey. Yeah. One other thing I will say is that you don't know exactly what but you would assume I mean, you know for certain that the gibbous man still has some. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a ton of work to be done.

But if he is chained to the material plane, he must, in some way, be vulnerable. He can die. And that is all you're going to get. I've been your host, Sean O'Hara. Yeah, join me. This episode was just a bunch of spell lords, essentially. A bunch of just us standing in Elman's room. Our heads tilted back, eyes rolling in our heads. Like, we keep cutting back to Elman every once in a while. He's like eating cereal. He's drawn, like, a little charcoal portrait of us.

He's doing a finger painting of Ving. But it's, like, really sexual. He's doing a finger painting on Tuck? Yeah. Where he's, like, he's painting Ving's lips. He's like, there's you, Ving. We cut to the three of us, and we're wearing different costumes, and he's having tea beside us. Oh, Mr. And Mrs. Mickey the Cutty. Having a tea party. Everybody's… You guys have just had your eyes rolled into the backs of your head all morning. Wow, that's a powerful bug. Yeah, right? He knew a lot.

He's staying away from Oman for sure. Yeah. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I've been your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long. Playing Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. Playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reed. Aaron Reed of Vancouver Sunday Service for our intro and outro music.

If you want to listen to all of the music that you've heard on the show, you can find that music at soundcloud.com. And if you want to listen to Aaron Reed's original music, you can find that at aaronreed.bandcamp.com. Thank you to all of our susporters around the world for susporting the show. If you would like to susport us, you can find it at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. And guys, let's talk a little bit about the show.

Let's talk a little bit about what you get on Patreon. Oh, they get… Merch. Access to merch. Sensual postcards. No, sorry. That's the wrong adjective. Yes, you're being too sexual this episode. Yeah, you're right. It's all my fault. Well, I'm working on the next postcard, so maybe it will be sensual. You can also get… Bonus material. Bonus material like our Mall Brats game. Yep. Set in the High Spear Mall. Outtakes and bloopers are fun. Uh-huh. Where we have all our swears and…

Other things. Yeah. And at the higher levels, you can get access to a monthly game run by yours truly or a monthly game run by Abdul. Yeah. Piss Monster TV. Yeah, it's all coming soon. And thank you, most of all, to all of you for listening. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3 Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time…

Time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you… There's a glad lease about love There's a glad lease about love

Spout Lore is made possible by contributions from our listeners. If you'd like to support us, go to patreon.com slash Spout Lore. Tuck is the brute who knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start.

Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello everybody. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello everybody. I quit, I quit the podcast. Oh, that podcast is over. When last we left our heroes, they had been suddenly found in the presence of Finn and Fanny.

Finn, noble mother and son, and rivals of Billy specifically and exclusively. Rivals of Billy and I think Nathaniel's house probably as well. Probably in general, yeah, absolutely. Finn is Billy's rival for sure. And not even rival, but like has been bullied by Billy. Whoa, that's enough like I started it. No, of course you did not, no, but you did end it. Yeah, I think Finn's crime was throwing a pine cone at you and having a… Stupid haircut. Yeah.

And having more food than you had at the time. 100% and gloating about it too. That's pretty bad. You know what? He deserved it. That's true. He does. But he's slowly like not deserving it. Yeah, exactly. Like every act that we go further into it. No, it's hard to disagree right now. Okay, okay. Hard to disagree. Jessica's just built a dice tower that's 20 tall right now.

Through some kitchen restaurant spell or shenanigans, the party escaped via a combination of disguise, and Ving attempting to engage with his newfound passion of the service industry. I thought my mother was a server. I thought I was a server too.

After jumping out of a plate glass window, Tuck led the party to the third floor of the Doubletree Hotel where they regained their equipment and spoke with Wendy and Lysander, rangers of Dathaniel's Talon, to discuss the plan in rooting out and curing the corruption in the Heart Tree. Yeah. At the center of the wood. We told them that it was the Gibbous Man that was doing it. Yes, and Lysander made clear that he was aware of the Gibbous Man.

Ving communed with the spirits to receive a vision of a gardener in the cloister who is unhappy with the way things have been going in the Church of the Wood, and then the party split up to do a Stormin Norman-style stakeout of the cloister in which Billy met a young ragamuffin named Biff. And tracked down the… The… The… The… The… The… The… The… The… The… The… The… The… The… The… The… The… The… The… The… The ferry and following from his spiritual ferry.

Oh, shit. So Billy's still in the ferry. You're still in the ferry zones. Yeah. Next, we saw Tacoma Dome, who climbed the wall of the cloister without consulting anybody. It was just like, I'm getting in there. I was so embarrassed. I had to climb something. You gotta use arm when arm present. It's like when you're at a barbecue and a kid gets… Gets reprimanded by their parents and then climbs a tree and refuses to come down. Oh my god, yes. And at the top of this wall…

It takes a playboy up there and starts ripping pieces off and throwing it down at everyone at the barbecue. And goes, ooh, I know what this is. And throws it down at people. Tuck saw the bulk of the body of the heart tree for the first time in a clearer respect. Feeling the coins in his chest pull towards the tree. Learning for true that there is a demon lurking in the heart of the tree. So sick.

Then we went to Ving, who was communing with the tree itself via forgotten roots in the alleyways of the city. Learning that there is a feeling of hunger and need in the tree that was not present when he was a youth. That the piece of obsidian that Billy spotted in the heart of the tree is not a coin, but something else. That was a huge revelation for me. Gonna be totally honest. Yeah.

And the final question in his discerned realities, who's really in control here, cut back to Tuck, found on the wall by Wendy, the ranger Wendelliarie. Yeah. Who revealed that she would rather side with the bitter wind and pushed Tuck over the edge into the armed guard area of the cloister before disappearing. And Tuck fell through the air, looking up. So loud, so many barrels. Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck.

But from Tuck's perspective, looking up, falling towards the ground, looking up and seeing a burning tree. Before slamming into the ground, his vision going black. You spend a long time in this void. And Tuck, you're pretty sure it's Tuck. Yeah, it's Tuck. You're pretty sure. Tuck. It feels kind of familiar. The void? The name, right? Tuck. I yell into the void. It feels a little more familiar. Tuck. You're sure you know him. And I yell again.

And you are suddenly, your vision is filled with liquid. Your lungs are filled with liquid. And then your eyes shoot open. And you are lying on the ground. Underneath the boughs of a great tree. Oh, shit! And you hear clank, clank, clank, clank, clank. As a bunch of men and women with weapons approach. And Tuck doesn't know where anyone is. So he's just like, Windy Matrinus! Oh my god. You know what? Roll a Defy Danger Constitution to get that out.

Yeah, because it's the thing where he landed on his back so all the wind got knocked out of him. Okay, well, Defy Danger Constitution, I got 13. Okay. So roll a d10. Two. You take two damage. I have like three armor. Yeah. So you hit really hard and all the air is forced out of your lungs. But as that air is forced out, you force with it the words, Wendy betrayed us, which echo through the air. I hear it. Ving hears it. Yeah. Billy does not. No. Because Billy is in the ferry.

I'm in the ferry zone. Billy, you are following behind these two gardeners and they're walking through the cloister. You pass through the gates of the temple itself. What does the inside of this temple look like? I imagine there are structures. But I think a lot of it is dedicated to the tree. I think the roots lift out a lot and create big arches that they've sort of like maneuvered like other plants around to like make shelters and stuff like that and make like hallways and connected rooms.

Oh, so the cloister itself is made out of the roots of the tree. Well, the roots of the tree are basically like the frame and then other plants they've like tended to to grow into this like chapel around it. Oh, sick. Oh, cool. That's like attached. Yeah. So like the tree is basically like the central pillar of the of the chapel that is dedicated to its existence. So cool. Fuck, that's so sick. So yeah, they go back into the hallways of the cloister.

They're wandering these these boughs and these vines. This is the part that Billy can still kind of see. Is this like the life in the trees and the plants? Yeah, I can see like the like almost like the lattice work of life like light, you know, in little rivers. Cool. The two murky outlines of the people that you're following turn to each other. They nod. They go their separate ways.

Are you planning to just continue to follow Elman until something presents itself or now that you're like in the cloister, you're kind of free to move about. I mean, I kind of want to stick to him because that's the familiar face, but I want to pay attention to to like any like any roots I can see. Yeah, totally not like tree roots are like roots inside. Okay, great. So yeah, you're following under these like archways of verdant plant life.

He goes to what if Billy was not in the ferry, he would recognize as his room and you through the like the life that like excitement and chaos of life. You see that he is troubled and he opens a little like chest that he has. He pops it open and he pulls out like a potted sapling of some kind like a shoot and he pulls it out and puts it back down and looks around very furtively.

And kind of hustles past you in the ferry passing right through you unknowingly of course and closes the door and seals it and then comes back to his sapling and pulls it out and begins to water it very delicately and like prune off this little leaf and this little leaf and it looks like in the in the ferry. It looks like a young imperfect copy of the tree outside cutting. Yeah, what do you do? I mean, I can't really do anything. I can't touch it. Are there any runes on it?

I think they naturally have runes on them. Don't they? I think it's a property of the tree. They all have runes. So maybe this one has like because this is the first one. So it could be so old that they've all been gnarled and grown over to Oh, maybe. Okay, so I think the runes are on the new sapling. Yes. This tree is so old and has been like through so much that the runes are obscured. But this one he's growing and you can see small delicate runes on the on the young bark. Can I read it? Yes.

Let's roll something to determine this Spout Lore probably so I got eight. Okay, so interesting but not useful. I think it is. I think this tree is so young that it's not talking about like the runes and it's bark aren't about like specific pieces of knowledge, but it's about like the basis of the knowledge trees structure. And I think because there's only a few runes on this tiny little tree like I should say the you know, the trunk is it's basically a bonsai tree right now.

The runes that Billy can see say something along the lines of nature's law unchanging nature's law. You know what I so I see that but then I also see like past like further down is that like black spot. Oh in that like through the walls you can see like the the the black spot in the tree. Mm-hmm. Okay. I want to try to get there. Okay, so I will say that this is the hold. Okay.

Well because we already know that like as Billy tried to exit his body and enter the ferry he felt a resistance already. Yeah, and the closer you get to the heart of the tree the actual trunk itself you feel that resistance again. The trunk as we said is the size of a large. It's like fucking a big house. However far wide that is like it's like the home alone house. Yeah to size of the home alone house. How big would we say the diameter of that house is 100 feet. Yeah, 100 feet.

So it's about 100 feet across. It is a big ass tree, but it is gnarled and twisted. You can see there are like gaps in the bark gaps in the trunk and you're really forcing yourself forward because that that inky sludgy feeling is starting to assail your fairy form. Oh, it's creeping up your body. Yeah, and you're spending your hold. Uh-huh. So you really focus. Your fairy energy. I am Billy. I want out of this goo play is the thing Billy said a lot.

I want out of this goo cut to all the other times. He said I want out of this to bath time get me out of this goo. It's just soapy water. Anytime you have soap time there's soap the time he fell in a vat at a maple syrup festival. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, that was a real fuck up on our part as parents taking him to a maple syrup festival. That one that one is him chanting. Get me back in that goo as we're pulling him out. No, let me back in the goo.

So you spend your fairy hold which I envision is you like like really powering up your fairy body. I'm just flinging it off of me like get me out of this goo. Yeah, do not play. I am Billy and you drive yourself towards the inky corruption at the heart of the tree and you see just for like a second before you get pulled back into your physical body. Another body curled wounded in pain like seemingly catatonic and then you're back in your body and you suddenly wake next to Biff.

Oh, you were you went out that long. That's a quick nap. Oh, I you know, I'm just all about power naps efficiency. I still get the I still get the coins though, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Thanks for looking after me. Hey happy to do you need that sign? I don't think so. Okay, great. And he starts trying to spin both of them on his fingers. I'll see you later Biff. Okay. Dang it. And Billy goes running off trying to look for for Ving and Tuck. Yeah, Ving. I heard the call and chimed into the ring.

Oh, yeah. I heard Tuck yell. So I want to somehow get within range because yeah, how could how what is our limits and what is our parameters on these rings? So the limit that is a limit. We hit last episode was Billy tried to contact you on the rings and it didn't work. Yeah, I mean, I like the way that we have figured like it allows you all to communicate with animals. It allows you to like share visions and dreams when that comes up, but it's not like they're not like two-way radio.

We can't talk to each other through our heads. I just I heard you yell and I'm running over to it and running along the top of the wall. Yeah, light as a feather sounds like light as a feather stiff as a board. You got to roll that eight eight. So on a seven to nine, I believe you leave something behind. Something goes wrong. Something goes wrong. GM tells you what I think it is just like Billy starts running along the wall like outside. Oh trying to go back to like oh, we're tucking Ving.

I have to find them and you see Ving like like running along the rooftops of the buildings and leaping onto the wall into the cloister. Okay better go after him then Billy is on the outside of the wall. Okay. Yeah tuck you are on your back. Are you just like unable to get up? No, I can get up. I only took two points of damage, right? Yeah, which means zero points of damage, which means zero points of damage. But do you I hear I heard clanks.

Yeah, there's like guards running towards your location. All right, I go into fight mode. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you see a cadre of guards approaching you. Let's say for what's around me. So you're kind of in between the two walls one new one very very old and there's just like usual military guard post to like barrels crates. Yeah, it's just like sundry crap.

So the wall is to the side any gate that you would have into the inner temple is too far away and the gate into the inner wall is like quite a distance from you as well. Okay, sounds good. So the guards are coming at me. Yeah. All right. I pick up two barrels one in each hand and I whip both of them at the group of guards that are coming at me and then I sprint at them immediately. Okay. Okay, this will do it. This is a volley. Because you're throwing barrels at people. Yeah.

Yeah, let's call it a barrel volley. So it's 2d6 plus dexterity. Okay. Five. So you are like, all right, here we go. My patented barrel throw move. Donkey Kong. Yeah. And you try and throw both barrels at the same time and you just smash two barrels right in front of you. Okay. Then I do a war cry to freak them out. Yeah, go ahead. Hey, my enemies feel fear and act accordingly. Okay, so you smash these two barrels in front of you and just like scream at them.

Yeah, and I scream in anger because the barrel thing was so cool in my head. Yeah, but it just looked like shit. Yeah. Yeah. I just scream the word fuck and as we have determined screaming fuck at a bunch of elves actually really freaks them out. So the four guards don't swear. Yeah, no, they are. They do not flee but they like stop and they start to spread out. Yeah, and they're freaked out. You can see their hands are like shaking holding their spears sick.

So the failure from your previous move is you realize as you're screaming at them and they're backing up. They seem extra scared. You're used to people being afraid of you, but it's you realize it's because you're now glowing the barrels that you smashed were full of lamplighter oil and you are now covered in this brilliant. Yeah. Bioluminescent substance. So sick.

Not sick if you're trying to not be noticed, but if you're trying to be scary, pretty sick, but tuck realizes how fucking badass he looks. He strikes a pose with TLC. Your muscles are like oiled up with glowing liquid. Oh my God. I look like a bodybuilder. So it looks extra fucked up. Guess is what that means. You're still wearing your steed bonnet outfit. Has that been destroyed in any way? Yeah, I think when I hit the ground because it was too tight, it shredded immediately. Yeah.

So it's basically shredded on the back, but you do that cool fighter thing where you just grab the front and rip the rest of it off. Yeah. Sick, which means just your arms are covered in oil. Yeah. Then you like land skidding to a halt. There is. Yeah. See him right away screaming at a group of people and Billy, you hear the word fuck and you're like tuck is in there. So I try to climb faster, which is pretty slow. Still we'll just come. Back to Billy.

I'm not going to make you roll for climbing. I want to roll for climbing. Okay. 2d. Oh, 2d. 6 plus dexterity. Sweet shit. Fuck. Yeah. 12. Oh my God. I what I did was I unraveled to my ladder outfit. Yeah. Caught on to like a branch. I'm like, fuck yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. So you're all kind of arriving at the same time. Like tuck is screaming covered in glowing oil. Ving hits the top of the wall alighting like a professional as Billy tumbles over the top.

Pulling up his yarn scarf behind him and you see. Yeah. I didn't get the yarn scarf unraveled in time. We have to run away without it. It's too bad. I rip off what I can. Yeah, totally. So you leave a good length of your massive yarn scarf behind and you look over and you see, I don't know 100 feet down the wall. Oh, there's Ving. Oh, there's tuck. Yay. We're all together again. And then you see like throw someone into a pile of boxes. You're like, oh, we're fighting. Yeah. Okay.

So Ving you see with honor. Okay. As he jumps up, he sees him glowing and does some flips in the air and roll. I'll roll fight with honor. All right. Eight. Eight. Okay. So you get two cheap points. And so tuck, you're screaming doing this is like as barbarian as tuck gets. Yeah. Just a group of adversaries afraid to approach you and you're just bellowing. Yeah. As he's been really scary to think about. Just a seven foot tall man screaming at you with an axe in his hand.

Yeah, I wanted to being wanted to like do flips over behind tuck land right behind him and slap down on his traps as hard as he can. Splashing, glowing oil. Oh, yeah. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Eight again. Okay. You are now also covered in lamp lighter oil, but you do manage to scoot like slap a bunch off with.

Like maybe a little puff of wind from your elemental list abilities and they are kind of like like squinting a little bit because it's kind of glowing too bright in their faces. And as being arrives tuck you see pattering along the top of the wall towards you, Billy. I'm coming. So how does Billy enter this con? He jumps in off the room. Oh, no. And I I've got my like scarf outfit unraveled. Like almost like a net and I'm going to jump on the guards. Try to tangle them up. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

We'll call this defied injured dexterity as well. Eight. Eight. Okay. So here's the thing. You can wrap all four of them up, but you are also wrapped up with them or you can get to and still be able to move. I'll get to. So you land on two of them and they get all wound up and you release and I guess join tucking being on their side. I'm just in my bloomers. Just in his bloomies. High five Billy and then accidentally covers them in lamp. Oh, geez. All three of you are covered in lamplighter.

It's okay because I just put on my face. Yeah, my tummy. Yeah. Okay. So that's where we're that is the current state to elves trying to extricate themselves from a wool blanket that was suddenly wrapped around their heads and two more preparing to charge tuck. What do you do? How many are there total? There are four, but you would assume that more are coming. Okay, tuck just wants to like step forward and kick one of them in the chest so hard. Yeah, hack and slash. Yeah, 10 10 deal your damage.

Here we go. Eight. So you kick one right in the chest and they fly backwards through the air into a crate and they clang are knocked out sick, but you have come quite close to the other one that is not wrapped up good who begins to make a strike towards you. I take it because I want him to get close. Okay, so that is unbowed, unbent unbroken. Oh, right.

When you prepare yourself to endure some hardship without fighting back role plus constitution on a hit, you can either take half the damage or you can completely ignore one other I'll effect. Yeah. Okay. Eight. Eight. Okay. Yeah. So roll a d8 if you want to take damage. Okay. Six. So you can either take six damage or you can half it. I'll take six damage because I already have three armor. Okay. So what is the other I'll effect that you would like to ignore? What weapons do they have?

They all have spears. Okay. He kind of he jabs me with the spear and it goes through my side to the other to the other side. I'm like good hit and then I grab him by his shirt and then slam him into the door where other people would come from. Yeah. Yeah. That leads like yeah into the milk like the guard structure of the wall. Yeah. Yeah. I like that so that his body becomes a doorstop basically. Yeah.

Immediately as his body hits the door, you can hear like people slamming on the other side trying to open it. The door is rattling in its hinges and he's like stop it. Oh, stop. You just hit me Ving. What do you do? There is one guard with the spear that is not wrapped up in Billy scarf. Yeah, I can cross a distance between myself and a foe. You absolutely can and then deal my damage within reach. Perfect. Yeah. So you duck under his spear and you get in close. How do you take him out?

I get like I do a little splits down and it leaves us like this neon streak and then Johnny Cage style punch in the nuts. Great. So no, you just deal your damage three three. So not quite enough to take him out, but enough that you hit him in the nuts and he stumbles backwards ripping his nuts. I can't ripping his nuts gripping. Oh my God. I totally rip my nuts. My nose. My nuts are ripped, but he stumbles backwards. Going.

Oh, my nuts as the other two guards wrapped up in the wool scarf start cutting themselves free. Billy, what do you do? We steal the knife. They're not just going to steal their blade so they can't cut themselves free. Let's say defy danger. Dexterity. So good. Thirteen. Yeah, you get their knives because their arms are kind of like caught up as well and they can't really use their spears effectively. How does Billy get their knives away? They don't even see it happen.

They're going to take a swipe and then it's gone. I'm so fast. And then while they're like laying there like, where'd my knife go? Billy went and tied their ankles and their hands together. Jesus Christ. Yeah, that sounds like another move. Perhaps defy danger. Dexterity. Nine. Nine. Shit. Yeah. Hell yeah. I don't do a very good knot. Okay. Ving swips over and does a little dance in front of them and distracts them while he can get the thing. He's doing like. Stop paying yourself. 2d6 plus bond.

Eleven. Eleven. So that makes it a ten. Which means Billy does tie up these remaining two guards. Sick. They're not tied up forever. This isn't hitman. You can't just throw someone in a garbage can and have them never wake up in their lives. Well, then I'll push them into a hiding spot. No. She is doing the hitman. Actually, no. I'll shove them against the door too. Oh, perfect. Yeah. We put them in the pile. Yeah. Great. So nuts guy. He's still here and he's like going hero mode in his head.

He like picks himself up with this spear and he spits on the ground and he goes you think you can hit my nuts and I won't fight back headbutt to the face back and slash seven. Okay. Roll your damage to. Yeah. That was what you needed is all he had left. All he had left in him. Just spinning. Blood already. Yeah. So it was a seven to nine. So you roll your damage. Okay. You roll his damage, which was a D eight. I think it was. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Two. Yeah.

So you headbutt him and he clangs to the ground, but you do hurt your nose on his helmet. I have three armors. He's got now, but his heroic moment has been cut short. The door is starting to like their stop. They're not rattling it anymore. They're like heaving against it. So you can see the bodies are starting to move. So I want to go. Take the spear and put it through the door like all the spears together. Excellent. Two D six plus strength. Okay. Six. Oh, I'll help you. Oh, shit. Pass me.

I put one in and they like break it. Pass me the other spears. Yeah. Pass it to you. Two D six. I can say shit. I'm never fast enough. I'll aid Billy. I'll help Billy. This is perfect. I see Billy struggling with a huge. I'm sorry. I could never do it myself. No, Billy. This is really big for you. Can you hand me this beer already? I got 10. All right. So that makes that a seven and that makes that a seven. Nice. So this is again.

It's not going to hold him forever, but it's going to hold him for now. Okay. Tuck throws him just holds the door shut. Yeah. Ving puts the spears in. I'm imagining Billy has like little knives or caltrops that he's like stabbing into the bottoms of the door. Yeah, I'm stabbing it. So that's like, like angled. So it's like stuck into like the frame. Yeah, exactly. Nice. Great. So the door is sealed for the moment. You do have a second to think to certain realities about the area. Yeah, right.

Where are we? I have no idea about the layout of this two to six plus wisdom nine. Oh, can I aid by describing what I saw when I was in the hall? Yeah, absolutely. Nine. Perfect. So you get three questions and Tuck also gives you guys a heads up. He's like, Wendy fucking raid us. She found me on the top of the wall and she pushed me off. She called the guards. Wendy, your girlfriend sucks, dude. Not my girlfriend. We told her all our secrets. We're just friends with benefits.

That's how you guys find out that they've been fucking. You guys have been fucking this whole time. You guys have been fucking this whole case. Two missed high fives. It's a real whiff of a high five. You're both left. You both leave each other hanging somehow. Yes, that's awful. Thinking about Wendy. Oh, God, dude, you pick terrible women. That's not my fault. You feel the spirit of everyone that's ever known the two of you going. He picks terrible women.

The calendar flips to January where they're all on there. He does. Uh, what should we be on the lookout for? I mean, I think the easy answer is a way into like the garden without going anywhere near anyone else that works here. Yeah. What here is not what it appears to be. I guess what here is not what it appears to be. The wall is not me. Oh, maybe it's even like classic D&D like being like your perceptions like you're looking at the wall. You're like, this is an ancient wall.

This wall has been here since elves. Have been here and you're like a secret door. Oh, like one of those like an old ancient door. Yeah, through the wall into the garden, but you see like the way. Okay, so I until Jessica mentioned it as like the roots of the tree being used as like the infrastructure points for the thing. I was imagining a stone wall, but is the wall would like is it a grown wooden wall around the garden?

Oh, that would be cool if it was actually part of the roots that they coaxed up. And out you like shield it to protect it. Oh, maybe this was like the first shelter of the elves where the elves originated. It's like the incubation for the civilization. Exactly. Yeah. And you find a little gap that has not a mechanism, but you see sort of in the way it grows. You're like this is meant for something.

This isn't just an idle part of this plant and you approach and it's like younger, lighter colored. So yeah, it's like growing and regrowing and you're able to move aside a section of the wood. It just kind of like bends but moves and there's a gap through the wall on the other side plant life. Quiet silence. Tuck wedges it open and he holds it open for everyone to go in. Yeah. And you all sneak through and you are within the door closes behind you. Tuck it's a little bit of a tight squeeze.

Yeah. Yeah. I like thinking it kind of moves on its own like seals back up. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. The roots move back in place. Yeah. Cool. Do you still have one more question? I sure do. Oh, you do. You do. So now you're inside the garden. What's about to happen? What is about to happen? I think what you hear, you do hear like a voice. Inside? Inside the garden that just says, what are you doing here? We have come to help the blight. What does he look like? Or they? Or she?

It is he and it is Elman. In his green robes, quite young for an elf, younger than Ving probably. Pretty elf-y looking. Long, straight blonde hair. Green robes, pale, sharp ears. Elman? What? How did you know that? I followed you and the old lady when you came back in. Sorry. I just needed to know how to get in here because we have some stuff to do. You shouldn't be here. No one can be here. That's okay. We're not like everyone else. And Elman like squints. Swipes off the neon.

The spirit walker. That would mean Tacoma Dome. The tear bringer. And Fat Billy. Yes. The fat one. That's me. I've heard of your exploits. You've come to me. I'm here to help the tree. Yeah. Yeah. We're in service of the tree. It's really fucked up, dude. I've guessed. I've only guessed. And he's like, you see that he's been holding something like kind of hiding, like turning away from you a little bit. And he starts to turn back to, he turns back towards you and he pulls his hand down.

Is it the tree? It's the tree. It's the sapling. Did you take a cutting? I did. From the healthiest part of the tree. I've been worried that something's been wrong. And I thought that this was the only way to save the knowledge within. It's to start again. There is something wrong in the tree. And I saw it. There's someone in there. What did you see? It was a dark figure. Yeah. I could tell that there was like a demon in there. Like an icon.

Ving tells him about the hunger that he felt for the tree. It's insatiable. That explains so much. Says Elman, gripping his gripping his little sapling tight. The forest. Has been wanting. It's been twisted. Been sickened. I didn't know what from, but it must be the tree. The tree is at the heart of the forest. And everything lived in harmony. But if the tree needs or wants more, it would take from everywhere else. Oh, shit. The hunger is pulling from everywhere else.

It's killing the whole forest because the tree was providing for the whole forest. But now, because it's drawing from the whole forest. It's pulling everything from the whole forest. We got to figure out what the fuck's inside of that thing. Swearing so much. He's had a hard day. We need to also lay low and we need to get away from the guards. Yes, absolutely. The cloister, the temple, the city is in absolute panic. What's been going on out there?

Well, there was some sort of kerfuffle, I suppose, at the Doubletree Inn that has put the guards on alert. There was… There was some sort of fight in the fortress. They're not sure if it's connected. But someone in the Doubletree, some sort of waiter is thought to have, I don't know, attacked or kidnapped a wealthy family that they were waiting on. That seems like not what we would have done.

I can't promise that if you were to attempt to heal the tree now that you would be able to do so unassailed. How much can you keep secret from the guards of the garden? I have kept, and he hugs his plant tightly. I've kept much secret. Okay, you need to keep us as secret as your sapling. Okay, I can do this. What do you need? Shower. Robes? Something to wipe his stuff off? Oh, yeah. You guys are thinking we, like, stay inside and then try and… Wait for things to cool down a little bit? Yeah.

And then sneak back into the garden? Yeah. And, like, investigate the tree? We're nuns on the run. Nuns on the run. Yeah. I think he says, I have… He looks a little bashful. He's like, I have secret ways in and out of my quarters. So I can get you inside, hide you, find you disguises, and keep you secret. Is there anyone you trust? The first gardener, Malgath. She is kind. She's wise. She holds to the old ways. She can be trusted. Okay. Does Billy not believe him? I don't fully believe him.

Well, it's not that I don't believe him. I just don't know if I trust anyone else. I can keep it to myself. Okay. Thank you. Okay. Come with me. And he, like, takes you through a bunch of, like, oh my god, beautiful plants, rare plants, vital plants, but, of course… What's this? Actually, what is one plant that Ving sees that he runs by that he's like, what the fuck? No way! It's a autumn paper lily. Amazing. Yeah. And they've… Been extinct for generations. Whoa.

And they have a very, very potent toxin that elves used to tip their war arrows with. Whoa. That's very cool. Okay. So, good to remember. Autumn paper lily. Very potent poison available in this garden. Yeah. Okay, great. Elmin rushes you through the garden. As we're walking through, Tuck's like, what's this one? And it's just like an apple tree. Whoa. Bet you this is some kind of, like, rare fruit. Not having grown up with apples, he's like, what? Never seen this fucking thing before.

And he takes you through the cloister into the temple itself. You flit through the service hallways and servant entrances into his little quarters, which is quite cramped with the four of you in here. And he hides you in here and he goes, I'll be right back. And he runs off and comes back with an armful of linens. And he's like, I had to concoct quite the tale for why I needed so many extra robes. What'd you tell them? I told them that I had spilled on my other ones. Whoa, crazy.

That's a crazy lie, dude. I am not one for spinning falsehoods, but I feel I was quite effective. And he hands out the robes. Thank you. Such a fucking nerd. I love plant nerds. I really like him. And yeah, you all get little robes and they fit. Little robes? Do you have other short gardeners here? Oh, no. The robes themselves. And it's like, it's basically as you're putting them on, you're like, oh, shit. This fits perfectly. And he's like, it's the robes. They're made of vestment vines.

They grow to the wearer. What? It's quite ingenious. So comfortable. So soft. I've never worn one of these. They fit perfectly. They regulate temperature using sort of a symbiotic property. And they're grown right here in the garden. I heard that you can use them. You can even pee into them and they clean your pee into drinking water, Ving says. Tuck immediately pisses. You know how hard it is to piss your pants deliberately? Tuck is an expert. It's actually so easy. That's desert power.

Tuck doesn't tell you that he's doing it, but he's like staring into the middle distance and then he just shakes for a second. He does one of those like shoulder shivers and he's like, I don't believe it. And I'm eye level, so I see the like, dark. Yeah. And it's awkward, kind of, because after a few moments, the leaves begin to do like they're covered in like a clear like crystal clear do goes up and sucks one of the balls back. It's just water. It's quite astonishing, isn't it? Amazing.

It makes it makes those nighttime drinks quite easy to achieve. You don't have to get out of bed quite so often, but we must we must be quiet now. Oh, yeah, we have to should whisper. Yes, I must say I'm I'm quite thrilled to meet three of you. I've been hearing of your stories. As you might understand, travelers in and out of the forest have not been very common lately, but I have been most attentive to news of the outside world and your exploits are quite thrilling.

What are people saying about us? Because we don't really get that much insight into that. Oh, stories of you traveling in the companionship of a dragon. Stories of you facing down an army in a desert village headed up by some sort of dark warrior traveling across the sea of graves to and fro. It's quite amazing. I guess when you put it that way, it sounds like pretty cool. Yeah, I guess we have done some pretty cool things.

There is an upper limit on how much urine the plants can absorb before they need recuperation. So I would like an over water tomato. It's starting to split down the middle. Yes, I would pace yourself. How do you still have water in your body? It was a very short period of time between the two times you pissed. All he's had for four days is chicken. I don't know where he's getting all this liquid from. Jessica laughing in the mic.

Just hearing So I believe that the best way is for me to see how things are progressing in the temple. But is there anyone nearby that might wish to do you harm? Yes. Yes. Yes. Ranger Corps. Ranger Corps. Ranger Corps. Specifically, Nathaniel's Rangers. They were betrayed by Wendy specifically. Yeah, so we don't know that all the Rangers. Yeah, but we can't trust them now. Yeah. And she said that there was somebody on the inside. They were working on it. Right.

Do you have any inkling as to whom she might have spoke? No, we took in a newer grouping of initiates just last week. Do any of them look like this? And Ving takes a stick and draws, draws in the sand a picture of Nesh, the young man. But this is Aelmar. Aelmar. Aelmar is lying to you. His real name is Nesh, and he loves doing moves. Tug's not good at being famous, I think. It's really getting to his head. Yeah, he's trying to sound important. Oh, by the leaf and bow. Infiltrators in our temple.

Mm-hmm. There's more than that infiltrating your temple. There's a big old fat piece of shit inside that tree. We're here to suck it out. A bad, bad gibbous man came into this temple one time and took a shit in your big shiny tree. Put a big old hard obsidian shit inside of that tree. That shit's grown into a man, and we're here to kill him. Yeah, we're here to take that little piece of shit out of that tree. Flush him from your city, for good. Uh-huh. Wow. And now you just piss on the ground.

Really steps back. Yeah. Because I was in the pee zone. It does get soaked up by the sand that Ving dumped on the floor of Elman's room to draw in. Tug, why are you doing all the things that you say I can't do? Pee as I say, not as I pee. Very well. Then what will you do? These disguises, I should say, are quite fetching, and you should be able to move about the cloister unobstructed if you so choose. I mean, I can hardly recognize you. I don't know if I believe his judgment.

I don't know if anyone's quite as short as me. I feel like my stature gives it away. I feel like same with me, yes. I've been thinking about this, says Sean, the game master. I think that especially considering the reality of Billy's play versus reality and his now, especially with Luck of the Fair Folk, the fact that him just knowing you two sort of bends luck in your favor from time to time. I think that your disguise, because we've talked about how your disguises should not work.

I think that they kind of do. I remember when we were I think it was Tuck and Billy were dressed as like the horse. Oh yeah, Billy can also cast illusions. Maybe that's what I'll do. Oh shit, you don't have any fairy child left, right? Well, if we wait till morning, it's night right now. Right, so if we do wait until morning, you can use your fairy illusion magic to disguise us. At least tonight, Tuck probably won't wet the bed. Yeah, that's good this time. I don't wet the bed.

It's obvious that it's you now. I wet the bed all the time, but my vestment vine filters it for me. That's awesome. It's quite amazing. It's a really weird quirk of your order that none of you are pottying. I'm potty trained. He says drinking a droplet off his shoulder. I think it's like it's almost like a still suit from Dune where there's like a stem that comes out of the sleeve that if you know how to use it, he can just sip off like the stem. His own piss. That's amazing.

These piss monks are at the center of Elven civilization. That's the world we just created. It's just kind of cool that they always have water on them and in them. They're a constant supply of food for the plants. Nature is about harmony. I live in harmony with my vestment vine. They provide for me. I provide for them. That is one of the first things that you learn as a young gardener is techniques for peeing freely. I pee freely? Oh my god. This is the best sleepover I've ever been to.

Everybody gets to pee. Everybody's just pissing. They're pissing their pants constantly. So much fun. I believe that the next best course of action would be to get a little shut eye, as they say in the outside world, I believe. So I will… And he stands up to his full five, six. Ooh, really little guy. I will take the first watch. Of what? Just in case anyone comes in, I guess. Oh, okay. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. And he walks to the door and he locks it. Ah, there we go. That's it?

No one will come in? I mean, I hope not. Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. Um, just a moment. I'm peeing. Hide. Oh, shit. Why do you have more furniture? Um, um, um, can we all fit under the bed? You could try, for sure. Alright. So Tuck lifts the bed up. Tuck lifts the bed up and you guys get under it? Yeah, and I kind of pull the covers a little more on the side that is facing the door so that they can't see. And Tuck goes and stands behind the door with his axe out. Oh, shit.

Yeah, if this goes bad, I'm just gonna kill whoever's on the other side of the door. Yeah, exactly. So he's just, he like silently stands on the other side of the door. Oh, that's so spooky to think about. A seven foot tall man standing behind the door with an axe. Yeah. And click. Hello, Herman. I'm sure you heard that there was quite a commotion outside. Yes, yes, first gardener. It was quite quite thrilling, I'm sure, but everything is good here. Everything's fine in here.

And Ving and I are under the bed like, fuck, he's so bad playing it cool. Oh, God, he's gonna get us fucking killed. Can Ving take some of his, um, piss do and flick it on the feet of the first gardener? Yes. Oh. I have the tiger. Oh, smart. Okay. Say 2d6 plus dexterity to get her with it. Oh, no. Plus dexterity is two. I got eight. Oh, shit. So Paul just did a jizz motion. He did kind of like, what's that called? The Spider-Man? No, I was rolling dice, playing craps. Got ten.

So what's the seven to nine here? So you whip out a little bit of your piss do. The drops soar through the air and patter onto the floor. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. What's that elf song from Lord of the Rings? Oh, uh. May it be the evening star that's done upon me. And we see echo. We see. Oh, sorry. We see reflected in the droplet, distended in the water, Billy and Ving underneath the bed, wide-eyed. We see behind the door, Tuck towering over. May it be. May it be. May it be.

We see almonds shaking knees as the drop passes by before they patter onto just a little bit of exposed ankle between the vestment vine and the vegan leather shoes of the first gardener. There was so much arrogance in your tone. That's amazing. And you feel that connection take hold. Nice. Yes. And the door closes. And Elman drops to his knees and starts panting. Pukes. Just a little bit. I don't know. I don't know how you all do this. This life of deceit and falsehood. Wow, dude.

You've had it pretty easy, hey? Well, I mean, I've had quite an academic and spiritual upbringing and I have spent many, many years in deep contemplation of my role in the wild places of the world. Well, here's the thing. You might be the only person in this entire forest who is capable of saving that tree. And Tuck points out the window at the heart tree. And Elman throws up a little bit more. So we'll jump forward to the morning. You all sleep just, I guess, in under on the bed.

Elman lets one of you take the bed. I'm under the bed because honestly it's like pretty nice in here, like a little cave. Uh-huh. Pretty good. Tuck took the bed. Tuck took the bed. Elman's curled up in a corner. I imagined him in the bed too, like it's kind of a bigger bed. Elman is also in the bed. Just spooned by Tuck. But he's in the corner of the bed and the wall. And he wakes up. You hear an emerald forest rooster caw, waking. And it sounds like … … … … … … … … … … …

… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … Oh, his eyes flutter open with the call of the emerald forest rooster. And he takes a long, deep sip from his vestment. Good morning. Oh! I forgot! Our deceits. Our quest. I had the most wonderful dream. None of this happened. But I'm ready. What do you need from me this morning? Fair jump. Oh yeah. Billy crawls out under the bed like a dead man.

Like a cat or something. I don't know. Like a sleepy spider. And he lays in the sunbeam and he's like, I just need a second. And I roll 2d6. Yeah, plus charisma. Eight. Eight, which I believe means three. Yeah, so I get three holds for today. Not too bad. Not bad at all. Not too bad. So Ving, as Billy's lying in the sun, he slowly comes out of his, and he's been doing a commune of whispers all night. Excellent. In the place with all the different plants, the exotic plants.

He doesn't get to know one. Maybe his mom knew some of them. So he's communing with her ancient knowledge of all the other trees and the sapling. Cool. To figure out what's different about the tree to try and make this dark figure inside of it stand out. Yeah. Have you ever communed with the spirit of your mom? I don't think so. That's why I brought it up like half-assed. Because that's the thing is like, Ileana knew, what was happening here.

She knew and she called it out and they push her out for it and commanded Dathaniel to kill her. I think that's a good, yeah. I'm going to commune with the whispers of the echoes of my mother in this place and anywhere that she touched, if there's maybe a way that I can, that she left a message. Yeah. Okay. So cool. It's pretty hardcore. I don't think we've ever used communion of whispers this way. To like contact a dead person? Yeah.

Because we haven't really talked about like people spirits being the same as like spirit spirits. You know what I mean? She's a druid. So maybe something that she imbued. Yeah. Right. Or something that she did while she was here that was very spirited. It's like when a tree grows, you've got the rings, right? Yeah. And the rings record history. Yeah. At a certain part of going into the middle of the tree towards that black withered being, I would reach a ring. In there. I love that. Yeah.

That's really cool. Roll plus wisdom. Nine. Nine. So still unclear, meaning murky. Ooh. Yeah. So I think it is that you reach out into the tree, into the building, into the temple, into the land. And in communicating with the tree in this way, yeah, you're sort of reaching backwards through time, going like ring by ring into the tree, searching for something that reminds you of the woman that rings you. Raised you. And you are suddenly given a vision of a time long since past.

Ileana in the green vestments of a gardener, but different. Yeah. She's sipping from the stem. I didn't need to see that. But they are altered in some way, I think, to denote that she is not of this place originally. Like she is not, strictly an Elvin gardener. She's not wearing the green. She's wearing like an autumn colored one. Ooh. I like that. Then it's like, yeah, like the Russet Browns. Mm-hmm.

And she is speaking to a handsome young elf, short, straight hair, dark, dark, dark black, no facial hair, striking features. And he is wearing the green gherkin of a ranger. And it takes you almost too long to be like, oh my God, that's my dad. Whoa. Um, but as like a younger man, it looks a lot like being, yes, you see yourself a lot in him. And it really drives home the, the, the idea that no matter how you were born into this world, your father is your father. You know what I mean?

Like, it's like, he still shaped you in a lot of ways, just as much as Ileana did. Um, and she seems, and we see her with Elvin ears, maybe. Oh, Oh, I like that. Like in this place, she's made herself, like an elf. And she doesn't have the like polar bear for a mantle that she had, unless that is over top of her, um, her gardener robe that she has like, yeah, a mantle of, yeah, it definitely looks like a flight, like a pilot's jacket. Yeah, it does. Yeah. It looks fucking sick.

It was so fucking sick. Your mom looks so sick and hot. So she said she was sick. And then you said something else. There was a thing that you said after that. After that, something, that I didn't like, they won't listen to me. They won't listen to me. The Daniel, no matter what I do, they are blind to what is happening in these woods. And, uh, Nathaniel was sitting on like a bench and he stands and he comes over to her Aragorn style, puts his hands on her shoulders from the back.

And Laura, the ring. And, uh, he says, you can make them, see Ileana. They're just, they're stuck in their ways. You can turn them, but there's no time to Daniel. If they don't see the error of their way soon, they are opening themselves up to forces. They do not understand. Then we will make them understand. And he turns her around. So he's facing her under the blooming light of the tree. Almost like fireflies falling. Yeah. No.

And the, yeah, the lamp lighters, begin to flit to the ground, creating this like glowing rain. But in your vision, as they fall, their light dims and becomes like a creeping shadow. As the light fades from the tree itself and from your parents. And then all this darkness. And you hear Tuck is taking a huge drink. He's like the whole suit. It's huge on him. And he, when he's moving around with it, it like slosh. You hear it sloshing. It's like a sumo suit at a party. I don't know. Staff party.

It's so awful. So the aura Boris has awakened. That's just, for his eye, the aura Boris. I drink my own piss and that piss becomes me again. The snake that drinks his own tail forever and ever. Just the worst. Hmm. Hmm. My mother saw something that she knew it was coming. Do you tell us what you saw? Yeah. I mean, I think we sometimes have a practice when important things happen. Yeah. It sounds like the Elven people chose something. They opted into something. Yeah.

Like they made a deal or something. Hmm. Do you think they made a deal with the Gibbous man? Yeah, probably. That sounds about right. Like he came and offered them something. Or someone. Oh shit. I don't know. Yeah. Oh, like what if they sacrificed like a Druid or Gardener, an elf or something as like overseer or like protector of the tree and like buried them in the tree or something. I don't know. Place them in there. Place them in there. It's so dark.

But like had them take like the obsidian coin. Uh huh. The thing that Nathaniel told us was that like the nobility wanted more control. Like, I guess we have established it, that they're like Elven society has like two voices that dictate. There's the voice of the trees, the Vox Silvi and the voice of the people. And I think the voice of the people didn't like how powerful the voice of the trees was and the influence that it had. Yeah. They're trying to silence the trees. Yeah.

So maybe it was a deal along those lines. I mean, we know that the, uh, the Rangers were really active during the wizard war. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And thereby the events that led to the Exodus. So like the forest was very involved in the, in the conflict, in the conflict and the, and the, the events of the outside world in a way that they probably didn't want to be. So maybe that prompted the accepting of some sort of deal. Could have something to do with that.

It could be the tree could be a tomb for a wizard. Oh, could shit. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. A ward stone tree almost. Whoa. Hmm. And what do we know about? Nah, I feel like I'm trying to lead you guys too much. No, I want to hear it. What do we, what do we know about possession? Oh, uh, that it's when a person is open to it. Yeah. They gotta be open to it and they gotta need something or want something like they have to be somehow aligned with the icon that's trying to gain purchase in them.

And then it comes in. And it like kind of takes over their like decision making, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty much it. Also keeps them alive like forever basically. Yeah. It grants them powers. Yeah. So that is what we know. Okay. Yeah. Okay. What you want us to come to the conclusion? Not, I mean, there's some stuff I want to reveal, but like, I don't think we're there yet. Yeah. We're stupid. It's all good. Is there, do we have all the pieces that we could figure it out now?

I think there's some things you could figure out, but not like it. Okay. Yeah. Fuck. We're so close to getting some reveal. Yeah. It feels like we want it. Yeah. Oh, and then he was like, we will teach them. We will show them what it is. It's so depressing. Like the young unjaded like version of Nathaniel. Yeah. But he's also jading somebody else who's bent on like, you know, avoiding the dark side. The darkness, but he's like, no, we will show them to darkness. Yeah.

That's a, that's an interesting way to look at it. That she's like, they're going to fuck it up. I don't think it's my problem. I got to get out of here. And Nathaniel being like, no, we're going to get, we're going to get involved. Yeah. Yeah. Cause Nathaniel has always been the, like I know best. Right. Or at least when he was younger, he is clearly, well, even now, even now he's like, I don't think there should be any monarchs. I don't think there should be any monarchs.

I don't think there should be any monarchs. There should be no leaders. Yeah. Because I know that that's the best course. Well, his man, he's kind of a ding dong. His world view is infallible to him. Yeah, that's true. Even his worldview that he is a bad person. You know what I mean? Like he, he is like, I am always right. Even in that I am wrong sometimes. Yeah. Oh man. Nathaniel's cool. Yeah. Cool in, in an interesting way. Yeah. Not cool in a like, what a cool dude.

He's an interesting character. I think so. Okay. So what's next? Billy, I did. If we have to go out. Yeah. Yeah. We, I think we need to get close to the tree. So we gotta be disguised as regular size people. You take half of me and put it on most of him. Yeah. I'll, I guess I could create a, is it like a creative convincing illusion basically? Yeah. And you just spend a point for it. Okay. Yeah. So I'll do that for, for tuck and I. So what does this look like? What do you look like?

I look like a tall teenage ginger boy. I look like a tall teenage ginger boy. I look like a tall teenage ginger boy. I look like a tall teenage ginger boy. I look like a tall teenage ginger boy. Do you make yourself look like an elf? I do. Okay. But he's still got curly hair. And I'm so tall, but not too tall. Just like tall. Yeah. Not like Conan O'Brien tall. No. Yeah. Just like five, like five, 10. Yeah. Which to me is like so. Massive.

And then I made tuck look basically the same, except his hair is longer. Oh. And he's got point ears. So you made him your twin, but with long hair. Yeah. We look the same. And no, because he's got point ears. Yeah. And he's got point ears. Yeah. And he's got a weird beard. Cause I was like, Hey, so he's just got weak little chin. Yeah. I've got the weakest chin. I don't tell talk that it's just for me. Yeah. Yeah. You gave me really long black hair. It's like blowing in the wind. Yeah.

Elegantly. It's like dead to my feet. It looks so weird. It's too long. Can you do anything about this? No. Okay. It's illusory. Fuck. Okay. Fuck. Like, and I realized what's on the line. So I'm like, Oh, I gotta make it less weird. So I do shorten it. But just, so it's down to his butt. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. To the bottom of the shoulders. And Elman is just like, Oh, astonishing. Text. Look at you. The Mary's like, I look like I was fucking homeschooled. That's perfect.

That's what I was going for. Then I, I think you hear like against elements window, like don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't. What's that bonking? It's my, it's my window. And he goes and opens the window and tuck is standing behind it with the ax ready to kill whoever's on the other side. I'm behind talk. I'm so scared. And flapping through the window is a bookworm. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master.

Sean O'Hara. He is always playing Tacoma dome. The barbarian Abdul Aziz playing being the half elf druid. Paul offers playing fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica tie. I want to read it. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. You could find all of Aaron Reed's original music at Aaron, read.bandcamp.com and all of the music that has been produced for the show at soundcloud.com. Thank you to all of our supporters around the world without hoops. This show would not be possible.

If you would like to support the show and get access to a whack, a bonus content, including a full campaign set in the high spear mall, which we have just started, like book two of check that out at patrion.com slash spelt Laura spiller.com slash money, please. And thank you most of all to all of you for listening. See you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Dumb and scared and lost. Maybe for times of breast in. And though.

Oh, our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I gladly spelt.! . . . .

Hi everyone, it's Fat Billy here. Thanks for coming, listening to our podcast. If you want more podcasts, you can go to patreon.com slash spoutlore, where you can give us some money. And I like money, so I can buy snacks. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight.

Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round. Gather round, friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Spoutlore. Spoutlore. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hi. When last we left our hero, Tacoma Dome had been struck down by the powerful Borge. I'm in the party now.

Let's describe Borge to us. Oh, you know, he works admin in a parking department. For us, a municipal parking department, so he's a guy that people come… In McCall. In McCall, yeah, he's a good guy that people come to when they get parking fines and tickets and stuff. Uh-huh. He's a dispute manager. He's a dispute manager, and he's really… He's good at managing the situations, because people don't like talking to him for that long. Like a sloth at the DMV.

They just give up, and they're like… His torso is shaped like an egg. He's a dispute manager at a municipal parking department. He's 1,300 pounds. He's 18 feet tall. He's a dispute manager at a municipal parking department. His flesh is made out of soil from the heart of the earth. Yeah, he's a giant. He's got a little tie. Yeah. Hi, guys. I'm Borge. Who's getting the cake for Deb's birthday? Uh, fuck. When last we left our heroes, they had arrived at Heartwood City.

They decided to disguise themselves, as they often do. Mm-hmm. And Paul really pointed it out. You guys decided to disguise yourselves. You guys decided to disguise yourselves in a method that would demand the attention of everybody that looked at you. Which is the way we always seem to do it. You hide in plain sight by making yourselves as, like, visually attractive as possible. Yeah. So… And it's never let us down. Yeah. It's true. Works every time.

So, Billy disguised himself as a ball of yarn in a giant scarf. Mm-hmm. Tuck disguised himself as… I think you described your outfit as looking like that of Steve… Steve Bonnet from Our Flag Means Death. 100%. So, cravats and a long coat. I also put Fig Elf ears on, but they're way too long. Yeah. So, they look like rabbit ears. Yeah. Perfect. And Ving decided… Ving's dressed like Justin Trudeau in the 80s. No. No, no, no. You're dressed like a full centaur. Half a centaur. Half a centaur.

The top half of a centaur. Just the top half. And the bottom half of a man. So, the plan was to enter the market with some, quote, unquote, livestock. Stock to sell in the form of the sugar gliders, which you did achieve. Making contact with Wendy, the ranger who was undercover in Heartwood City. Using the most basic subterfuge possible to tell you that she was going to be at the Doubletree Inn having dinner. Mm-hmm. Billy made some friends slash enemies with a pie man slash science lady.

Ving and Tuck made a good deal, honestly, selling some sugar gliders to the military because that's part of your plan. Yeah, we got 1,500 gold coins. 1,500 coins. 1,500 coins minus 30 up front. Pfft. And then you went to meet Wendy at the Doubletree Inn where you got some food and drink in classic Speltlore fashion. Right. It was give us a nice drink and then the weirdest meal you've ever heard. Yeah. Which was a full roast beef and all of the birds that you have.

One thing we never do here at Speltlore is glaze over a meal. We acted out in painstaking detail, including incorporating the service staff. Yeah. And also, can I have some? Can I have a menu? Yeah. Is a thing we constantly ask. And it's also shocking how much we bring up receipts for meals as well. And there's always a wait. That's the thing. It's like you order the food and then some stuff happens and the food comes later. Like we don't jump to the food.

No, we're very realistic with every approach. With this. With this. Meals only. Yeah. We talk about bathroom breaks as well. What a quest you've been on. Yeah. What an incredible adventure we've undertaken. So you spoke to Wendy briefly about your plans. For getting to the actual Heartwood. Yeah. To investigate slash cleanse the corruption that you have discovered in the center.

Before we were so rudely interrupted by a shrill voice proclaiming, requesting, nay, demanding the attention of his mommy. Finn, the small elf noble boy has arrived in the hotel bar of the Doubletree Inn with his mother. And that is where we find our heroes. Now, what do you do? Oh, shit. Tuck slides down in the booth that we're in. So you could just see that only the ears. And being seven feet tall and like 500 pounds, the whole table moves. Of his body becomes way more visible.

His legs stick out under the table. He does an accidental fruit basket again to the entire restaurant. A waiter walking by trips over my leg. Lamplighter drinks go everywhere. Yeah. There's a huge commotion. And at this table, like drinks spill. The table moves. The scratching record in the heart player stops playing. Yeah. And you look to your immediate right thing. And Wendy is gone from sight. Whoa. She just disappears. Oh, shit.

Billy panics and he grabs the whole rose and curls up into a ball to like think like become a pillow. Become a pillow. Yeah. So what is your plan here? Is it to is it to just hope he doesn't notice you? Billy is hiding. I'm hiding. And Ving is. I've. Yeah. I've combed all my hair over my face and I pick up the trays and I put on like the towel and I'm like, I'm the waiter now. Oh, yeah. OK. So smart. For some reason. OK. OK. So defy dangers, dexterity, dexterity and charisma.

Can I do charisma since I'm hiding? You're hiding. What? Emotion. Like with your personality. Yeah. I'm trying. I'm making my first. OK. Yeah. Good point. Yeah. Good point. This doesn't make any sense. Yeah. Yeah. No. Good point. Good point. I got three plus charisma zero. But I did dent the table. Whoa. Holy shit. That's worth it. I got nine. OK. Seven. Seven. Nine. Nine. Three. So you're not going to be able to get far.

I think that's Billy and Tuck is your partial success is you're hiding, but you're stuck in this booth. OK. Ving got a failure. So you get up and you put the rag over your arm and the the train your hand. And as this huge commotion happens and there's crashing in the drink spill, somebody that looks like he's wearing like a vest. Like a shorter elf man in a vest and a short hair and a mustache walks over to you. And he's like, what's going on? They've they've spilled their drinks. Go.

Go get them more drinks. Go get their food. And he's like, we're pushing you towards the bar in the kitchen. You my manager with that tone of voice. No, I don't think I will be much longer. Oh, my God. Get them their drinks. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. And he comes back over the table. He's like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And then Tuck goes. I have never. Never. He's slouched down pretty far, too. I have never. He's slouched under the table. Yeah, pretty much.

And he's acting indignant. Yeah, just his chin is on the table. His ears so long. I have been a patron of the Doubletree Inn at Wingdom Hotels for years now. I will take my loyalty card to the Marriott. Sir, I don't think that will be necessary. We would be more than happy to make this meal complimentary. For you and your small son. Daddy, is that true? Do we have to go to the Marriott? I don't like the Marriott. Their roast beef is inferior. I lost my roast beef in the kerfuffle somewhere.

I happen to have misplaced it amongst all the chaos. And then Tuck is just like, the Yelp stone outside of this restaurant will be afire. With. With comments. Pull out a chisel. Don't make me use it. The Yelp stone outside this restaurant will know my wrath. If my son does not get a second roast. He's got his fingers woven in front of his chest in supplication. And he bows so low to you.

And he goes, sir, we will do your utmost, our utmost best to make sure that your stay here at the Doubletree Inn is exemplary. I would like a private dining room now. Okay, now you got to roll something. You're asking. You ask too much. 2D6 plus charisma. Or yeah, I guess parlay. Yeah. Unless you want a 13. Doesn't matter, I guess. He goes, of course, sir. Of course. We would be more than happy to bring you to our canopy lounge.

And I want a curtain brought over here so nobody sees us go over to the canopy lounge. Because we're embarrassed about how. Covered in this liquid we are. Oh, yeah. Because you're glowing from the drinks. Right away, sir. And he reaches up and he goes, like he claps. And Ving, as you're hustling into the kitchen towards the double doors that go into the back, they flap open. And like half a dozen elves come out with curtains and go like across and spread out in front of the table. So fancy.

Welcome to the Doubletree. Yeah. They take service seriously here. Wow. So I'm in the kitchen. Yeah, you're in the kitchen. Yeah. At the bar. Yep. And you see through the like service window, you see Finn and his mother, Fen, be seated at a table in the lounge. Ooh. Yeah. I don't really need to do anything here. Well, as you're standing there with your tray. Just standing there like.

A larger elf, bald, little chef's hat on, greasy, just like comes up with two plates and puts them on your thing and goes, table five. Table, which one's table five? The fifth one. Okay. No problem. Roll a discern realities to find table five. I mean, yeah, yeah. Go ahead and roll discern realities. Don't tell my players how to roll. I got a 10. Okay. So you get three questions off the discern realities list. What's about to happen?

What's about to happen is, um, you can see tuck and Billy being like ushered into a private dining room. That's like just off the main lounge. And I'm like, Hey, what's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on?

You come into the lounge and as they're being taken into this private dining room, you see Finn's mother then like look over like there's a private dining room. Oh shit. And I'm in the main lounge. Acceptable. And she starts snapping to like get the manager to come over. What should I be on the lookout for? Uh, wherever Wendy went, like she's like your main kind of connection to what's going on with the Rangers. In Hartwood City, so you need to track her down at some point.

Okay, here's not what it appears to be. There's a bartender at the bar who looks a lot like Wendy, who's mixing up drinks. And I walk up and I… Ving just goes out there and charms Table 5. Oh, did you get any on the plate on your fork? But he's just like a really good waiter. Yeah, well, you're gonna have to roll for that. Okay, I'm gonna go and wait the shit out of this restaurant. Defy danger charisma for charm. Six plus charisma is zero. Oh, we got six. Can we aid from where we are?

Billy can aid from any distance. Okay, so Tuck is carrying me over his shoulder like a baby. Yeah, and I'm patting your back, pretending like you're crying because your roast is gone. The roast that he has with him. It's between us. It's being pressed against your white suit. Yeah. So yeah, I'm gonna aid him. From a distance. Yeah. 2d6 plus bond. Six. Shit. Shit. Can I aid Billy? Like I'm being like carrying him and hugging him is like offering some kind of spiritual support.

The burping is really helping as well. He's feeling clear and fresh. Yeah, the lamplighter was too carbonated for you. So it's giving you acid reflex. I'm burping it out of you. Eleven. Okay, so you burp Billy and uh, a bunch of a big burp. Yeah, and a bunch of bioluminescent like gas comes out of your mouth. So you like a little glittery yellow cloud forms in front of you. Blow it towards me. That's so fucking good. You then you smell a burp wash across your face colorful.

I'm lift my feet are off the ground. I'm floating on this burp all the way to table number five. Yeah, put the plates on the right table and as you like touch down the cloud kind of settles over them and they're like, oh, I'm gonna burp. Oh, you are such a charmer. I swear if I was a hundred and fifty years younger, don't tell me that I might age myself. Oh, what? You tweedle away. So we'll go back to Billy and tuck. You are welcomed into the canopy dining room.

Yes, and the canopy dining room has a roof that is made out of the living woven branches of the tree that the double tree in the canopy dining room. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. There's a ton of work.

Of cool and then like tall you know like in Lord of the Rings how like elf windows look all fucked up and weird yeah it's like that like it's like very spirally like wood designs and then like very tall fragile looking glass that looks out over this very fine district of Heartwood City but you are also taken you know with the sort of the gloom and tension that has been washing over the city oh yeah it's a beautiful sight but you can feel like the tension oh shit you can see the lights of the city only go so far and then it's just like black dust and like yeah like crying babies and stuff yeah dogs barking car alarms you know that kind of stuff yeah I go and I look at the window and like the darkness of the forest is stark like it's a kind of darkness that eats light like usually like in a city it'll like throw light into like the surrounding areas but like it just ends and then it's black past it not unlike the Gibbous Man himself totally yeah I like it and I just realized that I have that move I think that I the first time I encounter something I can ask about bardic lore yeah yeah so what do you ask what question are you asking ever since Tuck came into the city he cannot stop thinking about the prophecy yeah he's like he is beneath a massive tree that is a light with like bioluminescent fire so he's just like how specific are yeah these prophecies symbolism like I don't understand anything about symbolism like her as in it it doesn't have like her as I don't think this is symbolism oh my god it means it's a metaphor which is even worse though but yeah Tuck is he wants to know more about the history of the tree and how it works yeah so because this is bardic lore of course you are gleaning this from stories and songs that you've heard heard and learned over your years as a traveling musician yeah so the thing that you know historically is legends say that the elves are the fruit of this tree whoa these are stories this is like a creation myth within elven culture is that they are the fruit of this tree that like the first elf was grown from the branches of this thing oh cool and that this was not only the heart of the forest but the heart of like elven culture cool and because of that for millennia uncounted because elves have existed for tens of thousands of years and their culture is sort of like unbroken they treated this tree with unbelievable reverence so most elves at least for a long time like they lived under the shade of the branches and they lived under the shade of the branches and they lived off the fruit of the trees and that kind of stuff but they left the care of the tree to the gardeners so gardeners have lived in sort of a cloistered temple around the tree forever which ving mentioned I think either last episode of the episode before has been built up more defensively over the last few years like there's now a wall wall for defensive purposes as opposed to a wall to delineate like the borders of the temple are there ever any like open days where the cloister and the church that are associated with the tree like allow you to get close enough to it to like examine it like allow the populace access to the tree right ritualized yeah processions or like yeah any kind of like church like you know how like seasonal things yeah or like a festival or like a weekly thing something where it's like you go and you pay homage to the tree or something is that part of their religion or their culture and is it saturday or sunday yeah uh there definitely used to be like because the this wall and the sort of isolation of the tree is relatively new tuck probably wouldn't know if it's still happening but there are definitely holidays there's probably a holiday that's like the beginning of spring that is the beginning of like the lamplighter life cycle so the tree is especially vibrant at that time as the lamplighter start to hatch and sort of grow cool um so that's probably yeah the blossoming of the flowers before the fruit of the lamplighter yeah leo mentioned a holiday that was coming up he did it was what did he first light first light so there are holidays like that but it's probably pretty far away which is not to say you couldn't settle in and play the long game and wait for first light for first light but that's probably a few months away there's also academies where people before they get to the gardeners like a priest um school you know like a seminary seminary yeah there's so many schools so there's like a school that you go to learn about the gardener way before so that could be somewhere that we start hypothetically we could kill someone steal their outfit yeah and then take their identity and then pretend to be priests yeah you guys could just like breaking into the death star style yeah find a couple guys steal their outfits or kill them or kill them you could kill them um that is on the table that's what Texas says to Billy as we're like looking at the window at the heart tree I was like you remember how like I put on that guy's outfit outside of the clear water and then I used that to get in that's I feel like we could do that again we definitely could but I also remember you crying a lot for a lot of nights after you did that and I was like he's crying more than usual more than usual and I don't know maybe I'm wrong you can tell me if I'm wrong but like does that have anything to do with you killing that dude to steal his pants are you crying because I'm bringing it up the chicken's just so spicy it's so spicy Billy's eating a whole roast during this conversation by the way Billy is like stone like not crying at all and Tuck is like weeping biting a rose like an apple back to the dining room Ving and Wendy are like cocktails and dreams Tom Cruise style bartender tricks right yeah and the cloud is like yes yes yes Wendy flips it up in the air the little martini shaker snatches it opens it pours three drinks in a row slides them down the bar in different directions Ving drinks them all spits them back in a different concoction he had gin in his mouth he switched it up and a couple people go oh okay lights them on fire oh that's cool we're back in and she's trying to she's like alright who's next for a drink in the bar and she's doing all these tricks but she's leaning in easy big fella she's leaning in okay what do we do we cannot be spotted by the young man and his mother she is a noble she will rat us out for sure we could get her blind drunk brilliant so okay so your plan is to get her drunk yeah great sure fine that's a great plan let's get her really drunk let's get her super wasted just keep giving her free drinks do I have to roll for that maybe charisma defy danger charisma to not come on too strong okay I'm gonna try and get her a bit more drinks just so she's a little more loosey goosey in the mind so she's unreliable in her memory great I got snake eyes oh my fucking god okay how can this situation escalate in some way yeah she comes up to the bar shoulders her way through the excited crowd having fun yeah excuse me she tells me and I drop a Caesar on her oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ma'am I am so I am so sorry oh my god oh my god and he's putting vodka on a towel and like damping your face trying to oh my gosh I never I demand to see your manager post haste yeah um wait a second I'll go get the manager yeah and she's like squinting after you as you rush off to go find the manager I hope some of that Caesar landed in her mouth and through the back door where's the manager I need the manager you're actually gonna go find the manager manager's in his office there's a lady there she's very happy with the service she wants to talk to the manager well that's a I'm glad to hear that uh and he goes he walks past you I'm gonna go back to you guys okay I'm not causing too much shit and you're so you're gonna sneak through oh you're going through some sort of back door yeah yeah there's a of course there's a private kitchen entrance to the the canopy lounge and you see the kitchen entrance to the the canopy lounge and you see the kitchen entrance to the kitchen entrance to the the canopy lounge and you see the kitchen entrance to the No, I thought about it, though.

You were thinking about it. I think there's other ways of getting clothes. We can think of other ways. There's other ways of getting clothes. That's a good one. Yeah, we tell you the plan. We explain everything that we figured out about the tree that we could maybe dress as a priest and the priest in training get in there because there aren't that many festivals where they let you at the tree. Because the first one is First Light. First Light is not for a few more weeks. Yeah.

I mean, during First Light, there is always a procession around the tree where each household brings a fruit, something that they've grown that year. Yeah. A representation of the first elf born fruit. The first fruit. That's very cool. So then there's like a fruit feast kind of where like everybody brings fruit and there's a feast. Or at least that's what it was when you were a kid. You remember it being that. Yeah.

And then, yeah, I'm just going to add, it's not pertinent to your planning, but then I think that there are. There are gardeners that travel outside of the wood with like little glass globes full of lamplighters and they take the light from the tree to the other towns and like spread that first light of the year to everyone. And it represents the spreading of the knowledge trees. Exactly. And the unity of the elf civilization. All our lights will burn at once.

But that has not happened for many years. As Wendy says, having suddenly appeared behind you. Holy shit. The light of the heart tree has not been spread to the outer cities. Why not? Because the hearts of elves have grown dim in return. Wow. You're really melodramatic sometimes. She goes over to the window and she puts her hand on the glass.

And then Tuck does a similar thing because he's crying and like he goes up and he puts his hand on the other side and he's like, sometimes I think back to some of the things that I've done and I feel like the lights in my heart have dimmed as well. Wow. Bing comes between them, puts both his hands on the window. And sometimes I feel like I'm also getting dimmer. Billy's hands go up on the window and some gravy smears on it. And he just goes, I just wanted to feel part of the group.

I just imagine Billy putting his hands up, smearing gravy and going, there's a dog down. There. Look at that dog. So fluffy. He's so brown. He's got a little brown face and he's got a little brown body. Slappy on the window. Hi, brown dog. Like Billy shows his face at the glass. What kind of dog are you? What kind of dog are you? What kind of dog are you? And the three adults in the room are trying to feel cool while you're doing this.

Everyone's brooding while Billy's screaming into a piece of glass. What kind of dog are you? I'd like to roll to find out what kind of dog. Yeah, totally. Now, are you trying to recall what kind of dog it is? Are you trying to ask the dog? I asked the dog. Oh, cool. So discern realities plus charisma. No wisdom. Five. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Wendy, where are our fucking weapons? They're in my room. Why would I have them on me? Your axe is about six feet long and weighs 90 pounds. What's the fastest way there? Tuck runs at the window and jumps into it. Okay. I rolled. Is it Defy Dangerous Strength? I don't know. You just rolled. I guess Defy Dangerous Strength, yeah. Okay. That's 14. Cool. So 14, you smash through the window. There's about three stories beneath you. Oh my God. What? Oh, wow. We were on an overlook.

Are you trying to go all the way out the window or are you trying to grab something? What room is she in? Do we know? Up. I'll grab something. Yeah. I'm not stupid. There's probably so many trees outside of this tree. I'll just try and grab the side of the tree. Dexterity to grab it quick? Yeah. Five. Oh. Oh, Lord. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, Tuck, you see Tuck go, I've got it. And he runs towards the window and reaches out his arms as he smashes through and you see his fingers close on open air.

He got it all right. Yeah. So what do you do? Does anybody try and help him here? Okay. I can try and give him a big shot of wind. Totally. Yeah. You could elemental mastery him out of this. Elemental mastery to give Tuck a little toot up into the air. But you know what? I'm going to let him fall for a second while I ask Wendy, what room are you in? What floor are you on? I'm in room 15. Three. One. And you get here the whole time you're having this conversation. You're going to go. Okay.

Elemental mastery. There we go. 2d6 plus constitution. Nice. Elementalist. I got 12. Okay. So that means that you only have to pick one from the three. I will pay nature's price. So it's like classic, like, ah, like stopping just above the street level. Yeah. Oh, as I hit a cushion of air. Cushion of air. Nice. Ooh. Ooh. Back up into the air. Yeah. And you are all watching this from the window.

You see Tuck like, oh, and because with a 12, let's be real, Tuck, you like a light on a, you very gently set down on a balcony, on a, on a balcony, about two, two floors above the canopy lounge. He like looks out onto the city and then takes a bite of a chicken that he has. I love this city. Oh. Oh. We can figure this out. So pay nature's price. What does that mean in this context? Hmm. I, well, okay. So I do think I'll just hold onto this in this way. I think like you call this wind spirit.

Who's like quite powerful. That shoots tuck up two stories. And as you're like, all right, let's go. You kind of feel like you're like buffeted in the shoulder. And there's just like a, you see in your spiritual sense, there's like a very excitable wind spirit. That's now kind of following you around. And it's just like, what's up? What are we doing? We have like a Tasmanian devil. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's like, just like an East wind sort of like, okay, let's do it.

Let's go fucking blow some stuff down. Come on, let's go easy, easy, man. Whoa, man, just, just blow some steam, but no, let's just, you just go, you just go do what you got to do. I appreciate what you did. Thank you. No problem. How much do I have to pay you? Like what is nature's price here? It's just going to follow you around for a bit. Okay. Yeah. I should say, yeah, like every once in a while, like a lamp tips over because this thing is just flitting around. Yeah. What the fuck?

Oh, don't answer the wing goes. Wendy's bangs are just like flapping in her face. Like, is this going to carry on for much longer? I'm not sure. Um, Billy starts unraveling himself out of his costume, right? Making like a big yarn string rope thing. And he's going to try to climb up and leave a rope behind. Amazing thing to follow. Yeah. And Wendy, and Wendy, yeah. Nice. Uh, so yeah, go ahead and throw that two D six plus dexterity. Nice. Whoa. So strong. A 14. Oh, hell yeah.

Make like a rope ladder with like two sides. It's so good. Yeah. And you realize like anybody watching Billy do this realizes that he did this ahead of time. Like he made it into like a yarn rope ladder that he then wore as a scarf. And, uh, yeah, you, with your little fairy accuracy, I guess, flip it right. Up onto the balcony where tuck is tuck. Can you catch a catch, catch it. And you just arm straight out in front of you as everybody climbs.

The ladder is just dangling on the bottom, waiting his turn. Yeah. One arm. Yeah. So strong. He's eating chicken. So strong up the cavity of the chicken, eating it off. Okay. Candied apple inside the chickens. Yeah. Amazing. So yeah. Bing and Wendy following up. Yep. And you are on the second floor. I believe I said, quick, we don't have much time. So Wendy leads you through this very nice room into the hallway.

And, uh, she's doing the like hand signals, like stop, go this way and takes you up a stairwell to the third floor and the room that she is staying in, which has a double bed, a chest of cabinets. It's got a small curing coffee maker. Oh, and then it's got a pile of weapons, all of your weapons. Oh, sick. And then you're like, and then tuck grabs TLC right away. Yeah. And you, he feel it like hum in your hand as you pick it up. Oh, they're humming. Good to see you, bro.

It's good to see you little bros. I, and everybody just straps on a straps up. I put on my strap on. Oh, I didn't know this was here. I didn't know if you would need it or not, but I found it in your pack. I bet you did. And she sits in the little chair that's in every hotel room that you're not really sure what it's there. I've been there before. And, uh, she turns to you all. So what did you determine about the tree? Did you have any thoughts on the infiltration process?

We wanted to know what you know and what has been set up by the Rangers before we got here. That I'm afraid is confidential. What? Wait, you hired us. Yes, but I'm going to be honest with you three. Mm-Hmm. Nathaniel brought you in and brought us in, but that doesn't mean that I trust you. Whoa.

You must understand that the life of a ranger is one of constant danger and one of constant vigilance and the door to the closet pops open and shadow par her beaver cat leaps onto the bed and is standing behind you. You tell me right now why I should trust you or shadow Paul here will rend you nape to neck. Shadow Paul, you're not going to do anything, are you? Oh, you don't know what I'm capable of. Jesus. This has been his voice the whole time. He's a Jersey bro. I don't get to talk very much.

I don't talk very often, but I know that you've got a voice and I'm glad to hear it, but I'll rip you to shreds. I don't know how to make you trust me. I could tell you a secret. It depends on the secret, but very well. Okay. The more embarrassing the better. Okay. I pee in the bathtub every time. Every time? I can't help it. I can't help it. I can't help it. I can't help it. I can't help it. I can't help it. I can't help it. I can't help it. It's so warm. Then Wendy nods. I trust you.

I told you the level of water was going up. There's no way he's peeing enough to change the level of the water. I swear it changed. It does not change. I didn't put that much water in there. You? She looks to tuck. I also pee in the bathtub every time. I have to use the same bath water after. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. There's no way he's peeing.

There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way.

Well, what about the poetry book that I see you write in all the time? What about the time you lost your virginity in the book? Tuck pushes Billy to the ground. Amateur poetry, you say. Well, that does sound embarrassing. Read me a poem from your book and perhaps I will trust you. Fine. And then Tuck looks at Billy and he's like, you fucking betrayed me. I'm so sorry. He takes a marble out of the jar. He dumps half of the marbles into the toilet.

And Billy has to hold his fist up to stop himself from crying and screaming. I earned this. I deserve it. Shadow paws just like, whoa, man, that's pretty harsh. I've heard of these marbles. These little kids love them. I can't believe you would do this. Get my M&M now. Read the poem. Okay. Can I take a second to write a poem? Oh, sure. Yeah, totally. It's a poem about Wendy. Oh, that would be pretty good. That would be pretty embarrassing. Okay. All right. So Wendy leans back in her chair.

Tuck is like, he's flipping through. And you see at the top of every page is a different lady's name. What does the book look like? Like, what does this little book look like? And how long has he had it for? Who comes before W? Me. The book is, so he stole it from bar. And it's like, just like a bunch of like purchase orders, essentially. That was like going into the trash. And he was just like, I'll just use this for a book. So it's not even a book.

It's a bunch of stapled together pieces of paper. Yeah. You're writing on the back of? Yeah, I guess so. It's like woven with like a piece of leather with holes along the spine. Yeah. And he's like, he's taking a piece of leather and like wrapped it around it as if it is. The cover. And then he carved like a picture of him in Black Spire high-fiving into the leather in the front. And it says best friends underneath.

And then on the back, it says, do not look in this book or I'll fucking kill you on the back. Do you read the book? Oh, what have I done? Do my wife, I love her. He is very much a child in his mind. Oh, yeah. A lot of ways. So he's flipping through the pages and you see, you're seeing like lists of drink quarters on the front, like 20, 20 vodkas, 60 oxbloods, like that kind of stuff where it's like they're replenishing inventory.

But then on the back, every page is like a different woman's name and he flips to the most recent entry and it says, Wendy, you said you wanted it to be embarrassing, right? Proceed. Fuck. This is the most embarrassing what I can read you. That thing's like, no, no, no, please. No, please. No, I can't watch this. Please. I'm just going to go in the closet while I read this. Very well. It's like, I just don't want you to look at me while I read it. You get to the closet. Okay.

And you're enshrined in darkness and bathrobes. And beaver cat piss. Yeah. Yeah. It's a real nest in here. Shadowpaw really. Shadowpaw said, this isn't even your room. Yeah. I'm marking my territory. So any beaver cats that come in here know this is my turf. The ranger's heart is a winter bloom. It hides from ice and bitter winds. But with the warmth of sun at noon, the beauty breaks and friendship mends. The door's closed. The door's closed. The door's closed. The door's closed. It's opening.

Was embarrassing. So, perhaps it is time I let you in on our side of the plan a little bit more. The Talon is in the city. We are here, as we have been commanded by King Nathaniel, to support you in your efforts to cleanse the Heartwood Tree of its corruption. We will do it thusly. Nesh, the young ranger that you encountered in the forest during his karate moves, has been placed inside the seminary of the Church of the Tree. So, with any luck, he will be within the cloister soon. Sick.

Where's everyone else? Taurus is amongst the people, blending in as a simple laborer. Cut over to Taurus for a second. And he's beating the shit out of a woodcutter. And there's like six women lined up watching him. Yeah, it's just a crowd of people as he like pulls his jerkin' off and his glistening elf muscles. Jerkin'. Jerkin' off. He's pulling it. Jerkin' off. Wow. And Lysander has been in this room this entire time. Show yourself.

And he emerges from like a corner where he was just so still. He comes from underneath the sheets. He stands up and just rises up. He's just under the sheets completely. And he just flips up and flips them down over himself. Hello there. I've been here the whole time. It looks so flat. He has a lit pipe in his mouth as he pops back up. Ving was sitting on him and didn't notice. Yeah. So these are the kids, huh? Yes. They are, if Dathaniel's word is to be trusted, our only hope.

And he holds out his hand to Ving. You got a firm grip there, son. He's old. Remember, he's got gray hair. He's quite old, but he has stayed a regular rank and file ranger his entire career. Kind of looks like a… Looks like Sam Elliott. A little bit. Yeah. Darker skin. Darker skin. Like, yeah. Gray hair. Yeah. And then also definitely the handlebar mustache. So we are here to support you, Nesh, with his infiltration. Lysander with his stealth abilities. Taurus with his combat support.

And me, other stuff. Tell me a bit about your plan and how we can best aid you. So should we kind of be… Straight up with them? Do you guys think? Yeah. That's our… That's usually our… M.O.? Yeah. It's amazing you have not told them everything yet. All right. So Tuck has a bag of six obsidian coins and he tosses it on the table in front of everyone. He's like, what do you guys know about these? They spill out of the bag. Hmm. She reaches down and picks it up and holds it up to the light.

I can't say that I've ever seen one before. What manner of currency be these? Clink. The… Beacons. Magnets. Magnets for demons. Demons, you say? Icons is another word for them. Icons. And what relevance do they have to our current situation? There is a guy wandering around the world handing these out to people. Have you heard any stories of a traveler? An elderly man with a kind countenance. Dressed all in black. Big black hat. Wandering through the world affecting things. Cold as the night.

And Lysander chomps the end of his pipe thoughtfully. You mean the gibbous man. So you've heard of him? Only stories. But he is not one to be trifled with from what the tales have told. What do you know about him? Oh, just that he… He appears offering aid to people in need. But that his intentions are… Always his own. I always thought he was… A myth. What do you feel these myths offered those who heard them? Comfort? Solace? He means to disrupt all these things.

So you're saying that he's real? He's very real. We've seen him with our own eyes. Well, at least Bing has. And you've seen the touch of his fingers on the land. All that has been happening to the forest comes at his hand. Then our quest is even more dire than I imagined. La Rungarvinga, she turns to you. You are the spirit walker. What counsel you next? My counsel is… Not my own. I wait for… The world to tell me. I will… Counsel the tree. The… Deedly-dee. And her eyes are…

Leave me be. On balcony. From whence I sit. And… And… And smell beavercat shit. I will come up with a plan. For if not, I am the spirit man. And Tuck throws his notebook to the ground. So angry. He's like, you fucking improvised that? This fucking sucks. I suck. And Bing winks at Tuck. Tuck kicks the chair that Bing is sitting on. And he rolls backwards out through the door onto the balcony. And stands up. Yeah, lands in a llama, llama, llama. Looks so cool. And Tuck is so mad.

He goes into the bathroom and slams the door. Bing is piggybacking on the wind spear. He's sitting on his shoulder. So he's like hovering on the deck. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. Okay. So what move are you going to use? I'm going to do communion of whispers. When I spend time in a place making note of its residents, spirits, role plus wisdom, be granted a vision of significance to you, your allies, and the spirits around you. 10 plus, it's clear and helpful. I got six. Okay, six.

Can I aid from a distance? Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can aid. How are you aiding? Billy is being helpful by shoving sheets under the bathroom door to muffle out Tuck's crying. You're trying to make it more peaceful? Yeah. Yeah. I work so hard. I got a 10. 10. Nice. I work so hard. And you are alone communing with the spirits of this place. So you get a seven to nine, which means a vision with an unclear meaning. Mm-hmm.

So what you see is the most beautiful, pristine, grassy hill you've ever seen. The light of the sun shining down. An elf in a long green robe, like floats into the vision and plants a sapling in the hilltop, cups his hands over it and his hands fill with crystal clear water that waters the earth that the sapling is in. And it sprouts forth into the air, its branches arcing and twisting beautifully, creating a canopy under which on the branches, beautiful fruits begin to bloom and grow.

Out of the most beautiful flowers. Exactly. And those fruits become heavy and they drop to the ground and where that fruit is, that fruit touches the elves spring to life. Millennia pass before your eyes. Beautiful elves and beautiful elven culture spring forth and are thriving. And then shadows begin to swell in around the edges of this canopy, breaking against the barrier of light like waves against the shore.

The fingers of the darkness start like reaching in through the roots of the tree and rotting the heart of this trunk. And the elves weep. They weep as their culture rots before them. And the green robed figure who, you know, to be the embodiment of all that makes this order what it was and was meant to be. You see them turn towards the darkness with like staff and trowel and hand ready to take back what the forest deserves from the clutches of this darkness.

And as you do, you see the face of this mystical, gardener figure, the Vox sylvi, the first voice of the forest shift to the face of another that sticks in your mind. You don't recognize them. And they put the, the staff and the trowel together. Yes. To make a weapon. Yes. Oh, cool. To create like a trowel spear sort of gardener's tool. Sick. Distorting the original intention. And then you see a quick flash of a few visions of like a young elf in a green robe.

Who's like watching people become, um, hard and mean and the way that the gardeners treat the tree as like a tool rather than a thing to be revered and cared for. Uh, you see them like sneaking out in the middle of the night, leaving the cloister, which you know is forbidden amongst gardeners in the order. Picking unripened fruit, which is like, yeah, no, no, it's like, it's a cursed act. Yeah.

And what you mainly see is you see a face that sticks in your mind that you believe to be a person that lives in this place. But that is, that is all you take. All, all you can take from the vision. As you are returned to the material plane to somebody that is now displeased with the way thing, the, the gardeners have been run. That's what you believe. Yeah. Cool.

Uh, and for those of you that don't listen to the bonus content, cause we mentioned it in a, in a bonus content segment, the Vox Silvi is one half of what we talked about. Elvin justice being there being in all of these kinds of proceedings, the Vox Silvi, which is the voice of the forest speaks, for the land. And then the Vox populi voice of the people that speaks for the elves. There's dissension in the ranks. You saw this in your vision. Yes. There is an unhappy gardener.

Would you recognize this gardener? If you saw them? I think I could. Okay. Then we must get you close to the gardeners. Yeah, I think we should, uh, I think we should stake out the church. And then you hear tuck go through the door. Yeah, we need to get close to the church. I think we should, uh, I think what we should do. Tears streaked down his face. So wet. His beard is damp with tears. Yeah. Let's go to the church or whatever.

Lysander, uh, gets out of the bed and reaches down, picks up tucks, poetry book and hands it to him. I, I gotta say, I liked it. Really? Yeah. You got a real talent kid. He like pats your arm. Thanks man. And he walks past you making the face. That's like, Oh boy. Uh, so how would you be observing the cloister? Um, yeah, I could be a little hobo getting alms. Yep. I like that. We could also all pick a, like, sort of like the other place. Like storm and Norman was here. Yeah.

Like where we're, we're, we're all going to watch a different zone. Yeah. Make a little triangle. Yeah. We go, we could all go out and like, uh, stake it out to try and get some information on how to get in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. We're all getting less codependent and can split up for a little bit, but the whole time everyone's like, man, I really should get back to this too. What are we up to right now? The guy's walking around behind me. Yeah.

But Tuck's doing something pretty awesome right now. Yeah. I miss Billy. And you cut to Tuck and he's like, fucking piece of shit. Ving being good at poetry, fucking asshole using his fucking stupid Elven brain being better than me at better, better than me at fucking word stuff. Fuck words. Words are fucking stupid. Tuck's back. Tuck's poem was so good. It was great. It was a great poem. It's fucking stupid. Ving's poem literally contained the word beaver cat shit.

And then Tuck scribbles out the wedding poem and he's like, to the beautiful Wendy. You have put a spell on me. Yes. Keep going. We were doing so well. Okay, great. So Jessica, you mentioned something about Billy going to a soup kitchen or something or getting homes. Oh no, I was, I thought I'd like kind of sit outside and like a little ragamuffin thing.

Sort of like what he did in McCall where like the kids would just like sit around and like, you know, beg for money or like ask for snacks and treats and stuff. Um, and he sees another ragamuffin who's doing a similar thing and he's got a sign up that obviously Billy can't read, but he's like, Oh, I've never seen anyone use a sign before. So he grabs like, I've never seen anyone use a sign. Is this kid the first one who uses a sign? Yeah.

So Billy's like really interested in, he's like, I want to make a sign too. So he grabs a piece of bark and a rock and starts etching in what he, what he thinks is the same thing as the other kids got on his side. That's pretty great. So Billy, what Billy doesn't know is that his sign says will work for food. Yeah. Can, can do, uh, can do tricks or what? I don't know. Tricks, uh, and wood chopping and babysitting. Uh, is this an opportunity for Billy to use, what is it?

Contact his ragamuffin move? Yeah. I'm going to try that. So I'm, I sidled in a little closer just to see the sign better. Copy it. Does he have a vest on? Yeah. Yep. He's got a little vest and he's got a little hat on, but it's a top hat. It's not a flat cap. What a fancy little guy. It's got the, yeah, it's got the pop, the top popped out of it. Oh yeah. Classic, classic ragamuffin. Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, classic ragamuffin hat. And I'll say, hey. Hello.

How often are you out here? Oh, just about every day. This is sort of my place that I come to. There used to be more of us, but as time went on, more of the kids, more of the ragamuffins, you see. You look like you're a ragamuffin yourself. I am a ragamuffin. I can see the type. A lot of us realized that the church was getting less and less generous, so they moved on. Well, that's a shame. Oh, you know how it is. Just how it is here in Hartwood City. Oh, don't you know it? I'm Larry.

My name's Larry. What's your name? Oh, my name? My name's Biafandar. You could call me Biff. Biff? Call me Biff. Larry's short for Laryngitis. Nice to meet you, Laryngitis. That sounds like a proud Elvin name. It is. Passed down to me from my dad. Yeah. And then his dad. We all call it Laryngitis from my great-great-great-grandfather. We were sharing one water bottle. You know, I'm just wondering, like, do they ever come out of there? It's been a while since I've, like, you know.

You know, hung out on the streets. You're gonna have to roll the connections for this. Eleven. Jeez. Okay. So with an eleven on connections, what is that ten plus? So on a ten plus, someone has it just for you. Oh, perfect. So Biff goes, oh, yeah, you know, not as many as they used to. But there are a couple gardeners who still, they sort of have their prescribed, quote, unquote, prescribed times that they're allowed to come out of the cloister. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Some of them choose to use that to give poor old souls like us a coin or two scrap of food. Oh, boy. Can't wait. Would love a scrap of food. Oh, well, you're just in time then. And you hear. Billy starts, like, positioning a sign, like, waving around. Like you are outside of a Little Caesars. Yeah, like a pizza twirler. He's kind of doing a dance. Spinning it. And Biff sees you do this. And is like, you got the right idea. And he gets up and he starts spinning his sign around.

Start getting competitive. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm spinning, like, weaving around myself. Yeah. And kind of tossing it between my legs. Holy shit. Between your legs? Well, it's a pretty small spot. There is not a lot of room in there. No, Billy has to jump over it a lot. And Biff kind of puts it on his finger and tries to twirl it like a Frisbee, but he's not very agile. So he just keeps doing it over and over again. But the doors to the cloister. Creak open.

And as these two ancient massive church doors open, what gets revealed is these two little grubby urchins doing signs spinning like crazy. Yeah. And there are only two gardeners. There are a number of guards. There's probably like half a dozen guards per gardener that comes out. Billy drops his sign and takes a really long time picking it up to try to scope out the faces. Yeah. Discern realities. Go ahead. Yeah. Ooh, that's only a six. Okay. Shit. So you get a point of experience.

Or can I use… Oh, you have fairy childs? So yeah, I'll use one to turn a failed roll into a seven and nine. Okay, great. So you get one question off the discern realities list. What here is useful or valuable to me? What here is useful or valuable to you is that one of the gardeners is quite old, wizened, bent, long.

White hair hanging down on either side of her head, hunched, but like on an old cane that looks like it's like grown around her, like not into her hand, but it's like grown with her hand basically over the years. Whoa. And she walks over and she drops a few coins of elven silver into the hat of Biff. He goes, thank you, miss. Thank you. And she comes over to you and she does the same, gives you a few coins. Oh, thank you. Oh, of course.

It's the will of the trees that the little boys be taking care of. And she turns and says, you'll see, Elman, this is the true role of the gardeners and wit has been forgotten. And Elman, who she is talking to, is striking to you. Something about his features seem very familiar. Oh. Oh, shit. What do I do? I'm going to… I'm trying to like ping my ring. I'm just like squeezing it in my finger, like a fist, like, guys, I see him. I see the guy.

I think it's like as Billy's like hitting his ring with his thumb, like trying to turn it on. Elman nods and goes, ah, yes. And he reaches into his sleeve, like he pulls his hands out of the sleeves of his robes and he has like two pieces of fruit. And he gives one to you and one to Biff. And they nod at you and they turn and the old woman. Totters back towards the gate and Elman walks with her. I pick up my stuff and I follow from a distance. Oh, cool.

So they are going right back towards the gate. Shadow dance. Oh. Oh. Oh, my God. Shit. I'll leave my body here, though. That is true. It is a sacrifice. No, really. Actually, I turn around really fast. I give my sign to Biff and I say, can I take a nap right here? I suppose. Thanks. You can have my silver. That could be a parlay. Yeah, parlay. Yeah, absolutely parlay. Just watch over my sign and watch over me while I take a really fast nap. And you can have my money. Okay. 2d6 plus charisma.

Ten. Ten. Shit, yeah. You got a deal. Easiest silver off ever made. And plop. Out. Oh, my God. Billy? So, yeah, I'm going to use shadow dance. I'm going to spend a hold of fairy child and roll wisdom. Okay. To see how long it can stay. Excellent. I only got a six. A six. Um. I mean, you do have one more. Yeah, I'm just going to use them all. Yeah. That's it for me. Okay. So, this is the last fairy child for the day. Yeah. But you. So, I'll get one hold. Yeah, you try and leave your body.

You try and enter the fairy, this sort of halfway state that you have been able to enter transition so easily in the past. But it's like something's holding you back. Yeah. For a second. And you really have to focus. Yeah. Weird. Yeah. But you're. It's almost like there's like sticky sludge in the tree. Yeah. It was really hard to get up off the ground. Yeah. That makes sense with the sap. Mm-hmm. It's like when you're running in a dream and it feels like you're in tar. Yeah. Yeah.

But you are able to enter the fairy and you are the fairy again. You leave the boy behind for a moment. Okay. Stay focused, Billy. Yeah. I actually. I like the idea that when Billy is the fairy that he has to keep reminding himself. I am Billy. I am Billy. I am Billy. So he doesn't get lost because in this place with this vibrant spiritual tree. Yeah. It's probably just. It's like coming home from a long trip and seeing your own bed in front of your own toilet. Yeah.

I could take the most comfortable shit in the world right now and never ever get up. Oh, boy. Okay. Keep focused and follow that dude that you know the face of. Okay. So, Billy, you kind of flit through the fairy after Elman and the old woman through the gates into the cloister. Who's next? Tuck or Ving? What are we doing? We're just. We split up. Yeah. You split up to survey the cloister to see. The cloister wall. To like see different parts of it. I had nothing. If you have something, do it.

I have something. Okay. Yes. Tuck. Yeah. So, Tuck is climbing the cloister wall. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Something. This is exactly what I would expect to happen when you three split up. So, you're climbing through over the outer wall. Of course. You have determined that there is enough of a gap in the patrol that you can climb over this part. Yes. Okay. So, first things first. Defy Danger Strength. I'll fucking show Vang who's good at words. 11.

Words never climb the wall. Yeah. Oh, you know what's good at walls? Arms. Words. Words can fuck themselves is what words can do. So you can't get in a cut phase. Arms can. So you pull yourself up over the wall. Yeah. And you are like far enough away from any patrols that you're kind of safe right now. And when he gets to the top of the wall, he says, arms one, words zero. Fuck you all.

And you see a butt like you get to the top of the wall and you look over at the walls of the cloister, which are, of course, because the second wall was built. These aren't made for defense. So you see the massive trunk of the heart tree in the cloister. How big across do we think the trunk of the heart tree is? It's like the width of like a big house, like a mansion. Yeah. Okay. Cool. I love that. Yeah. Okay. It's pretty big and gnarly. I like how gnarly it is.

So you can actually climb into it potentially because it's so, it looks like Methuselah. So it's like you could get in there. If you needed to. I think that's what you, what Tuck sees initially. Yeah. Is that there are like gaps and gnarles in the trunk where you're like, is there, I mean, if there's something, if there's a corruption in the heart of the tree, is there a corruption in the heart of the tree? Yeah. And then you have to think quick because there are patrols coming back your way.

Can I use, is there any way I can use the coin in my chest to like do something? I mean, well, what do you mean do something? To like study the like corruption at the heart of the tree. Yeah. I think that, you know what? Okay. So this is something that we maybe never considered is what you could use to study the corruption at the heart tree is your eyes. You're familiar with the gibbous man. You're familiar with corruption and demons.

You can probably look at it and try and determine how it might be twisting the tree. Open your eyes as wide as possible. Get your fingers in there. Oh, I have an ear for magic. But can he use an ear for magic to see the corruption at the heart of the tree? Can he try to? What is it? Yeah. You have. I should be able to with all the stuff in him. Yeah. Yeah. You do have a coin in your chest. Yeah. I want to ear for magic the fuck out of this tree.

Please read the move and please integrate it into your decisions instead of just saying the name of it and swearing. Yeah. I'm feeling very attacked right now. I'm fucking ear this tree. So goddamn magic. It's going to be insane. Okay. So can you read an ear for magic for me? Was that a poem? When you hear. An enemy cast a spell, the GM will tell you the name of the spell and its effects. Take plus one forward when acting on the answers. Shit. So you just ask. Yeah. And I have to tell you. Yes.

See, this is why I was like, we should limit it to certain kinds of energy instead of all of them. But I think the demon stuff is, I think you feel the coin. In my chest. Yeah. Yeah. You're not reacting to it. Oh, like it's, it's like having a piece of magnet. Yeah. I feel like it's even just that you're aware of it. Yeah. You're not always aware of the pain of the coin anymore. Cause your, your pain tolerance is so weirdly high. Yeah. But you are just like, like you kind of shift around.

Um, you think that. Oh. What? No. Yeah. You tell me. Here's what I think it is. The coin in Tuck's chest is still like not in one piece. Like when those coins are in one piece and there's a demon in them, they're just white. Right. Yeah. Because it's contained the demon. But like, there is like, I think iconic energy.

Just like kind of leaking out and like, it's almost like when you put a microphone and a speaker in front of each other, it's creating like feedback where the coin in the tree is reacting to the. Oh, I will say that you don't know what's in the tree. Oh yeah, we do. Oh yeah. It was a piece of a piece of obsidian. Yeah. The coin in the tree is reacting to like the shards of obsidian in my chest that have like a demon in them, which is reacting to the coin in the tree.

So it's creating like a feedback. Like a loop of like demonic energy. Yeah. Iconic energy. Yeah. Okay. So that is, that is the answer. There's definitely something in the tree, physically in the tree. The other thing that you think about is if I can feel the coin in the tree, it can probably feel me. Whoa. Whoa. So that's something to be aware of. And what was your, what was your specific question in terms of Ear for Magic? Is there a demon in the coin in the tree? Ah, that.

Well, I guess that reactive. Feeling would tell you. Yes, there is. Ooh. Tell me what demon it is. No, I will not. Yeah. I will not. So cool. Um, do I have to like do anything to like withstand the energy that's like building up? Not yet. Okay. Ving. Yes. What are you doing? I'm just casually walking along the routes. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, interesting. He's having a casual walk about. Yeah. I like that.

That you're going to like the different parts of town where like the roots kind of poke out. Yeah. And trying to get information that way. Doing a different style. Yeah. So what you like put your hand on the root and try and connect with the spirit of the tree. Yeah. Spirit tongue. I just want to know like if, if it can direct us to the pain, what the nature of the almost like diagnostic. Like, I kind of want a triage.

Knowledge triage knowledge triage yeah okay so I guess that would probably be discern realities yeah okay 12 boy oh boy sick so you get uh three questions from this list what should I be on the lookout for uh so what you should be on the lookout for is um you're trying to separate like what the tree feels naturally versus like what you're remembering pilgrimages to heartwood as a child and like meditating under the knowledge tree and vigil when you were younger and remembering that feeling of like wisdom and vitality and you're you're feeling in this tree a sense that you'd never had when you connected with them in the past of a hunger like a need a need to sustain itself over all of the of the other living things a hunger that wasn't there before yeah what here is not what it appears to be ah so you're like in your mind you're like the coin the coin I have to find the coin and you are filled with a resistance from the spirit of the tree that tells you it is not a coin what what we saw a coin but it's not a coin you saw a night black piece of obsidian oh fuck words tricked us again what else is obsidian uh moving on moving on next question pick the right one so we figure this out who's really in control here hmm yeah I think um oh oh!!

Whoa whoa whoa whoa I've been your game master Sean O'Hara Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz so long everybody playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers take care Playing Fabulous the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Bye everyone thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music Thank you to all of our Susporters around the world for supporting The show without you this show would Not be possible if you would like to support Us find us at patreon.com Slash Spout Lore for a whole bunch of bonus Content and most of all thank You to all of you for listening See you next time And so ends the tale of adventures Three who tried The best they can Though dumb and scared And lost they be For time's abreast in Revelry And though our journey May be like A conclusion We will Not leave you Without a resolution Return next week To hear some more Whilst you commute Or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

Hey, Tuck here telling you to donate to speltlore.com slash money please or patreon.com slash speltmore for more of this I'm doing an act out but you can't see it below the table Show me your hands right now No, I'm still doing it Show me your hands right now No, why?

Because I'm masturbating Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name You know them by deed Their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute He knows not his home He loves to sing and fight Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great pride Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest, they may not be but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends and listen close for the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome I'm the barbarian Abdul Aziz Hello everybody I have no food in my mouth Playing Ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers Hi everyone I no longer have food in my mouth And playing fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai Hello Wow That almost sounded like you had no food in your mouth When last we left our heroes They were reeling from Ving's encounter Brief though it may have been With the Gibbous Man Reeling?

Sorry Yeah is that reeling or gone?

Mad Ving after Billy found his mourning fairy child stretches A little hampered by some sort of presence in the air Ving shared with the party that he had encountered the Gibbous Man And through some Chamberlain ring memory watching The party lost their minds They were convinced that Ving had a coin in his head And tried to shake it out of him Like a pinata Absolutely at each other's throats Thrown around I don't trust you Well I don't trust you Until Morrison Perel arrived And explained that perhaps that was the Gibbous Man's trick all along Was saying just a couple words And causing you all to freak out We then headed out back on the trail To the center of the wood Which we decided and realized Is the elven capital city of Heartwood Changing The party's goals a little bit From finding a magic tree To infiltrating the most populated city in the great forest But you know We totally fucked ourselves Maybe a little bit But it's going to be more exciting for sure The party carried on through the trees On the back of their tree gliders Meeting Among many other things Leo, an old elf burnout Hanging out in the trees recording music Of the tune wood He's a major recording artist Yeah his full name was Leonardo DiCaprio I thought you were actually going to say it Excuse me, say it twice Leonardo DiCaprio Leonardo I rolled down, kind of Leo The last bit of his name was And Leo absolutely Bamboozled the shit out of the three of you You know what, I think we got a deal This is magic music I'm really defending Leo's He's a cool guy I made him up, he's neat And I thank you that he's the coolest guy I guess he's kind of been one of the only ones who's nice to us That's true Why are we shitting on this guy just because he's an old hippie He's probably a racist, you're right I didn't think of that We carried on down a secret treetop road That Leo and other elven Forest walkers Use We made our way to the next Ferry ring Taking a brief moment to Abuse the The page's functions once again To get it to summon as many clothes As you possibly could So the party disguised themselves Ving as the Humanoid equivalent of a Centaur merchant Tuck as the fanciest boy in town And Billy as A pile of yarn And mounting up And heading off into the trees To make their final approach to Heartwood The camera Seeing at the edge of the ferry ring They camped in the night before A couple small withered mushrooms And that is where we find our heroes now Coursing through the trees Top their tree gliders Discussing, I imagine, their plan for their approach to the city Yeah Black Spire 2 Yes sir What do you know of the tree gliders Stables at Heartwood Very little sir I mostly served in the Boreal Reach And I am only six years old So I have spent most of my time in that part of the forest sir Fuck Dude Tree glider lifespan I'm considered early middle age sir Aww Yeah so unfortunately your tree gliders won't be much help In this part of the wood Cause remember though they have been a ripping ass The forest is a very large place Can I Spout Lore about the police force Or like the military presence in Heartwood Totally At least as you remember it Seven So interesting but not useful What's something interesting about the Militia, the guard at Heartwood's That Ving would remember from being a young boy Umm Maybe they don't have stables Like they're always stationed In the trees Oh yeah that's interesting Like they're always kinda on the move And also I guess if tree gliders used to live in the Heart tree Then maybe theirs still do I like that What do you mean lived in the Heart tree Well remember we talked about how like tree gliders were The original population of them was found Like around the Heart tree like in this area Oh the knowledge tree Yeah the knowledge tree Yeah the knowledge trees Okay Yeah sorry So then maybe these ones still Kinda roost in there That is where their stables technically are Oh it's like close to the heart of the Yeah like of the city Of the city yeah Well and I like that since the Twisting of the woods That they've like moved them out Like they're like Oh They think that they're protecting it But they're doing it harm maybe Yeah Or they're changing the way that the forest operates Yeah that's very interesting Yeah cause if we If they were kind of like around the Heart tree Of like around the Heartwood still Then us as like merchants we could get in there Mmhmm Yeah that's a good point Yeah Um Anything else you wanna try and discuss on your way So yeah Tuck goes Are we So I assume we're not using our real names When we get there That's a good point Should be Terry, Larry, and Chad Yes That's a great idea Dibs on Chad I'll be Terry cause of the What Fuck no just Larry's the lamest one What Okay so Terry, Larry, and Chad Yeah I'm Larry Okay You're Terry And you're Chad Sweet Mmhmm Alright Are the three of you gonna remember this Yeah Yes I'm gonna write it down You look like Larry cause of your weird outfit Oh thanks This is how Larry dresses One of the dumb Dumb and dummers He dresses like a fop Yeah Yeah Uh Okay that's a good one Okay that's a good one Okay that's a good one Yeah so that's the We've got our disguises Yeah Any plan or are we just gonna Go Full balls I feel like we We wanna kinda like Claim that we're merchants To get past the guards right We should Wander through town And see if like I don't know like Nathaniel must know where we're going by now Mmhmm Maybe some of his rangers have come To like Try and meet us Yeah I guess we can kinda like Let ourselves be seen Mmhmm And then I don't know Maybe go to a hotel Or a cafe Or something Is there a market?

Oh yeah there's lots of markets Then we should go to the market And try and sell the Tree gliders there Pretend Yeah pretend pretend Obviously Okay And we could even Maybe get the tree gliders If they're into it To You know we could sell them to The The attachment here And then they can work From the inside Oh As sleeper cells Mmhmm I don't mind that Hey Black Spire 2 What do you think about that?

I think that that is a Dangerous proposition Sure but one I am willing to Undertake in pursuit Of the mission What better way To free your brethren Than to infiltrate And get inside Agreed We trust you And your capabilities You're basically A detective now Detective eh?

Do do do do Yeah You see his like His stance changes A little bit His little fur Puffs up Yeah it puffs up And he just His stance changes From a rigid To kind of like Aloof It looks like He's holding a cigarette Yeah He's got a little Twig in his In his paws now Or I guess a big stick Cause his paws Pretty big And he just starts Chewing on it Alright then we're on The approach to Heartwood Sweet Yeah Disguise is ready Plan set And hopefully Fingers crossed Nathaniel's forces Can contact us When we're there I think we did this In McCall too We're like We're in disguise But we're gonna make A big deal So everyone looks at us And sees our disguises And that'll be our disguise I can't think of anything Else Neither can I We could also go To a pub We will eventually Go to a pub Because And then Tuck pulls out The marble jar And it's totally full Can we have husky breakfast now?

We'll do it after We'll finish the mission And then we'll go husky Fine We'll finish We'll just kill the god And then we'll go To the restaurant Yeah Yeah if it's still there By then If the gibbous man Hadn't destroyed it I bet you Was trying to destroy All of the huskies Yeah Oh my god We need to stop him Because he's the knight The thing that he hates The most is All day breakfast Perfect So you're Ripping through the trees Black Spire 2 Is You can You can hear him going We approach the metropolis And I can feel The stink of corruption In the air already The air is I mean the light Is coming in Through the branches And creating like Venetian blind strips Yeah Venetian blind strips Across the sky Yeah And I knew there was One thing that I was Going to find in this place And that's trouble And as you're running Through the trees Very suddenly Appearing on either side Of you Are two more Like war gliders With guards on the back They spin their fingers Around in a rapid up motion And they point to the ground And they say Ground it We do that We do it in like Really like Fast Like in a neat way Oh yeah And their two gliders Like kind of Arc down Through the treetops In front of you Crisscrossing And then landing On either side What took you so long?

We'll ask the questions here Yes we'll ask the questions here What's your business here?

State your business In Heartwood We're uh We're merchants Uh Tree glider breeders Uh We heard that The uh The battalion here Was uh Was short So uh We came to deal But We are very expensive So don't think You're getting a deal Cause we have top notch Sugar gliders here for you My name's Chad Of course I'm I'm Larry The cool one Of the group Damn it You really are pissed Um Terry I I am the lead trainer Oh man Yeah Fuck yeah My methods are Wide and renowned I mean Renowned Widely Do you have any documentation To prove your claims?

Heartwood is not in the Business of allowing Outsiders Into the city I haven't rolled My fairy child yet For the new day No you have not So I'm gonna do that Right now Alright Oh hell yeah Fourteen is what I got Holy shit So that means I have five Fairy holds For today Wow God damn So I'm gonna use one To charm This individual I hand the British guy An old receipt From Husky Diner That you kept For sentimental reasons Yeah Yeah Yeah It's hard to hand it over Cause I don't know If I'm gonna get back It's all greasy Cause you had a potato wedge Folded up in it You will find all my Credentials on this Paper here And he takes it And the charm Overlooks the fact That you did just Hand Like he doesn't even look At the receipt really He just goes Oh Quiet quiet quiet Understood Please Welcome to Heartwood Go on by Thank you As you're like Walking past The other guard Rides over Goes what was that about man You got like a You got like a scheme Going with those three Just like They just seem trustworthy Enjoy your time In the city I will You forgot His voice His voice is gone Yeah And you Ride through the trees Emerging into Heartwood And uh We see The city of Heartwood So let's talk about What this city looks like The Wizard of Oz Oh like Emerald City kind of Tiered almost Yeah Like starts low And then builds up To like the base Of the The Heartwood tree Oh yeah That'd be kind of cool Yeah How big is the heart tree I'm thinking pretty big Cause it's like the tree At the center of the whole forest Yeah it's like A millennia old So it's the size Of a skyscraper Kind of thing I think it's pretty thick But actually Not as tall It's stunted It's stunted Cause it's These old trees Can I don't know I guess I'm thinking Of like that tree Methuselah a bit Yeah I like the idea That it was The tree that Was here first So it didn't have to Out compete with everybody So it got to be Got to be very wide Wide and fat And just take it all in Didn't have to grow up And then by the time The other trees were growing It was You know It's a magical tree Or whatever Yeah And I'm imagining Like a lot of the Cause it is like Twisted and old Like Methuselah Like very Ancient and like Naughty looking But like I imagine like branches Big branches like Arc out over the whole city That's kind of what I was thinking Like it's very wide And umbrella-ish Cool And then I think that there's like A kind of a natural clearing Around the tree And I don't think They've built up quite To the tree Yeah That makes sense And then Or even I was thinking Like a wall Yeah Like a ramshackle-y Kind of But very intense Thrown up wall Around it Like they're trying To protect it Like this thing of like Squeezing something In your hand And falling on your fingers Yeah Yeah And we were talking About there being like Monks or priests Or something That kind of live Around the tree Is that where like The wall is Yeah like It's sort of like You know like how a church Is built when they've got That wall around Like the cloister Or whatever Yeah I like that there's Churches So to speak To use Built into the wall Like so they have access To the tree Yeah so that's like A religious district Is like right immediately Around the base of the tree Well not immediately But you know what I mean I like the Like if the orientation Of the city is like The entire city Is built on a hill And like The knowledge tree Is like At the top of the hill In the middle So even On the approach To the city You can see it Yeah But then like Coming down the hill Is like the rest Of the city Essentially Oh what if it's like The roots Of the tree Are like All over the city Oh I see Cause it's like At the top of the hill So like the roots Are kind of going down All over And things are built Around and into that I like that I like that Like it acts as Like the framework For a lot of structure Yeah The infrastructure Of the city Is the root system I also like that You'd think it would be The Like the well to do Most rich people Are up against the wall But it's more like The poorest of the people Have clambered in As close as they can To the wall around Like the slums Are around the churches Right Cause if the If the gardeners Are essentially the priests Like then They would be giving out Like What's it Alms Alms yeah So people want to be close Yeah Right and like We were talking about The woodworkers Like a lot of buildings Are coaxed Growth Yeah So maybe Things are like Grown up Out of the roots Like buildings That grow up out And then maybe In the branches too Like hanging down I do like what you were saying Or like a part of what you were saying About how They have clear cutted areas And like Maybe they've taken down Like whereas they used to live Up in the trees They've cut those things out And they've built them Like maybe with rough masonry And they've built them up On the ground But used these old things So like The big houses Are like Burls Burls Glass Concrete Stone Oh yeah Moss Like they've built them Into these McMansions But Out of the chunks Of the old trees Yeah Like people used to live In the branches of the tree But over time For whatever reason The gardeners And the nobles Were like Nobody's allowed to do that anymore They probably took it as a threat If Like they didn't want anyone seeing Yeah Right So The quote unquote Clear cut Is like That there are Sparser branch structures Oh yeah Yeah it's less Spread out Than it used to be And more like Back towards the center Of the tree That's cool So you're approaching The city What's the first thing You see like After taking in This giant sprawling Old twisted pine tree Yeah there's people Milling about And There are many markets out There's some smaller Little like Outdoor stands And then there's Market Areas But up the hill Like kind of the Paths that are More I guess Like sort of like A sidewalk I like that they have Pulley systems set up too You can like Click click Click your card in And then people are paid To like Oh yeah I like that That's so cool Yeah Pulley Pulleyman And I think like Those parts are maybe A little newer too Because it used to be like Oh if you take a wandering Path through the city It's kind of like A spiritual thing And like enjoying The shade of the Knowledge tree Oh yeah But now people are like I gotta get to work I gotta go straight up This hill And I need this thing To help me Yeah in the very Steep parts They've carved out Steps Yeah Yeah It looks a little More worked Than it used to Like less natural Some of the roots Have been cut Into steps too Like Oh Yeah God No What am I doing Yeah totally So you Emerge right into You come into the city And you're in A market You see a guy Who's got his arms out And he's got birds All over his arms And he's like Gesturing to all his birds And the lady's like Hmm I don't know Looks pretty big Arms are just Covered in shit And And Tuck He looks He's like That's not nearly Enough birds Can't make even A decent dinner With that Yeah There's a guy Standing next to What's like I guess like a big Like deer And someone's like Hmm How much milk She given Like it's just Classic farm Merchant stuff Is everyone an elf Yes Around you That is gonna be A big problem For you guys Some people are Kind of looking Yeah People are like Looking at this Tiny little boy Wrapped in yarn Walking on the ground And then a gigantic Man in a fancy suit Did we put Pointy ears on everyone Yeah I put I did what I was With the page I did put on Like elf ears Cause like We do stand out a lot In like an elven Civilization Yeah Billy did you do that I didn't Cause I had a hood And I didn't think About it I'm too short To be an elf anyway Yeah They know right away Tuck's ears are Really long It's trying to Touch it in a Different way Yeah And yeah So you're looking For like the Like a place to set up Or a person to talk to Oh yeah I'd like to discern Realities to see if We can find the Market runner Yeah let's do it 2d6 plus Wisdom Oh nice Good lord 13 Okay 3 questions off Discerned realities Who's really in Control here There he is There's a guy With a scroll Made of bark Who's like writing Things down and Talking to people Seems like he's Taking coins Every once in a while He's like Early 30s equivalent Of elf age He's got Like a robe Of green fabric On and little Glasses on his face And a Goatee Yeah He walks up And he goes Alright where's Where are you Setting up You here to sell These things Yeah how much For a stable It's uh 5 coins 5 coins Per day Plus expenses Oh my gosh Jeez that's extortionate That's a ridiculous rate 5 coins a day Uh what here is most Is useful or valuable To me Uh you do see That there seems to be An older Elf woman In like the The same sort of Uh Arraignment That the Guards were wearing On the way in Going around and looking At uh Livestock Like hmm Oh so she's buying Looks like it For the military Or she's just buying And she's in the military But either way There's a military person Here buying What he does not What it appears to be You see Just behind That military woman In a cloak The hood pulled down Trying to be very sneaky What Looks up Wendy Oh And she She makes eye contact With you I look away Oh Tuck and Vink Both clock her At the same time And then we very Obviously look In the other direction Oh what's that What's in the sky Uh It's a tree Oh shit There's Oh it's a whole city A big tree like that It's a whole one big Whoa Wait is this one big tree Fuck Tuck says that to her Fuck An elf next to you Jumps And the bird in his hand Starts flapping Oh my god Oh yeah the guy With the arms of birds They're like They pick him up And fly away And he's gone That guy's Calm down Calm down That guy's been dragged Away into the air He's gone The market runner's like Actually this stall Just became available We'll take it This is perfect We'll take it Well wouldn't you know it A stall has just become Available Hmm Uh and you Set up your fucking Your stall Yeah While you guys do that Can I just Can I go pickpocket Yes 100% you can go pickpocket You do not have any coins I don't think Billy Do you have any preferences On how the stall looks You're very particular Sometimes Billy I know Today more so than others I'm sorry That's okay Billy You guys are saying Your real names Constantly Oh shit We're dumb Right Sorry I mean Terry Terry No I didn't know What you meant No Chad And Larry I am not Feeling particular About our stall today But I appreciate you Checking in with me Put her there Mr.

T Yeah we punch it in Punch it in Punch it Yeah That's actually what it looks like When Billy has to Fist bump those two We stretch We downward dog Yeah And we're We're like No problem Larry And then The market runner's like Wait why do you guys Always pause so long Before you say each other's names Also did you say that He was going to go pickpocket No Picklocking He works for a clock maker Who Needs him to unfix Lock gears Yeah Ah interesting Well I mean The fee Is six coins a day You said five I did And you said Pickpocketing And he holds his hand out How much money do you have None I don't have You don't have any money There's no money on here Can I There's a big coin purse Attached to This guy's Belt And I'm like I don't have any money Yeah Nice Um I would like to switcheroo Oh okay Yeah so Yeah I've got I've got my trail mix I've got a bag of trail mix Under my cloak Nice Nice So I'm going to switcheroo Okay And I'm going to use A fairy child for that I guess Yeah Yes Let us pay you Right now And as you Basically as you pull it Out of your pouch Uh huh Whoop It just swaps In your hand And now you're holding A little pouch of coins And I just like Open it up So that he can't tell It's his bag And I put out five coins And I say Here you go sir I think I said six You know what An extra coin For your trouble Ah very good Have a enjoy Your day at the market Alright Thank you My name's Chad I don't care I'm Larry Very well They now pronounce As Chad and Larry And he walks off Through the market And starts fucking Extorting other people How many more coins Are left in here Uh what's a Normal amount of coins For somebody to carry Fifty Fifty-ish yeah Fifty If he's like Taking coins from people Like doing active business And it's five coins a day This market's probably Like twenty or thirty stalls That's true So we've got Forty-four coins left So now you guys are loaded And uh In this illegal market Sick That was easy That was too easy I need a challenge Yeah Can I go Can I go pickpocket Yes Billy You can go pickpocket For two hours max Okay Yeah that's fine Okay Okay Bye Bye Be safe Have fun I will If something goes wrong Come back and get us Yep You know how to reach us Ving flicks the ring Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Bye Clarence Bye Go steal something cool for me Oh I will I'm gonna pickpocket For snacks mostly Yes Screech Screech Uh and you You Tattle off into the market Anything or any One kind of person You're specifically Looking for Or just grabbing stuff You see Scrabbing stuff Um There is a Pie cart So you're gonna go Try and steal a pie Mm-hmm There's little hand pies Alright pick It's the tricks of the trade 2d6 plus dexterity Ten Holy shit Fuck yeah You do it no problem Wow I am able to grab a pie Of every flavor Yeah and there's an old Crooked elf At the pie cart Says hey young man You looking at pies Um You know what Not really Um They smell nice But I Uh I uh Have I um I can't have wheat Or Bread Oh One of those Yeah Mm Well I always wish I could We do have a gluten free selection Oh do you Yeah and he points At a bucket of oats That his Mount is eating out of That's not bad actually It's better than most Other pie shops Well Alright So if you don't want any pies Then you should go Oh I'm sorry Okay That's alright Bye I'll tell people That your pies smell Really good though And he leans forward Will you actually Yeah Oh no I should have Taken his pies His eyes got so big Okay So what you gotta Here's what you gotta tell him Come around Come around here You work for me now boy You need a job You got one My name is Harlin Uh huh Short for Loth-Har-lin-da Okay Once more Loth-Har-lin-da Okay Wow So just tell him That my pies Are good Okay Hoth-Lar-in-the-urse Pies Are really good They And I can tell You use fresh Sage and rosemary Tell him that for sure Oh you don't Just tell him Yeah I can do that Beautiful Alright And uh You know what What Well take a little pie For yourself No way I couldn't possibly Thank you I insist We're in business now Thank you Alright Get on out of here You little scamp Okay So I take a pie And then I secretly Leave him Four coins Is that another Fairy child move No I just I just leave it Like on the It's his cart And they're all Kind of lined up On little shelves Along his cart Oh cool So I just leave Some coins there I'm like Yeah you know Just don't check That spot Until I'm gone So I got a fun Butternut squash And lentil pie And I got A deer pie Oh nice And root vegetable Mash pie Ooh What about a bat pie For Clarence Ooh a bat pie I grabbed two bat pies Nice And they're all Shaped like the things They're flavored as So like the squash Is a little squash And the bats Are all like Very delicately crimped To look like The things that they taste like Cool And then I'm gonna run to another cart Okay And we will cut back To the tree glider Sales booth And Yeah Somebody Walks up A middle aged Elf man Shorter Little paunchy Has a little mustache So Got tree gliders For sale huh Yeah Ving said You look like You need one That could handle A little extra Around the middle Huh Don't you know it That's the fanny pack Under his shirt Yeah Well you know My son He's got really Into the The old Tree glider Racing lately And I'm trying to find Some good stock To get him set up Oh Good stock Heck We got the best stock Look like it boy Yeah these guys Are the fastest Tree glider I've ever raised Honestly He goes up to Hank And he starts like Ruffling under his head Um And he's like Whoa These boys look like They're almost Military stock Yeah Pret near Hank You can tell Like starts like Growling I'm gonna bite the shit Out of this guy Get away from me Uh So How much for him Uh Yeah They're uh 400 coins each 400 Coins These are Primo Racing Gliders You gotta be Out of your tree Blessed minds Look dude It's gotta be Value on my end Or else No fucking deal We also only Sell them wholesale So you gotta buy The whole lot All at once Otherwise It's not worth it For me I'm dual specific Whatever He's like No you're out of your mind I can't I could do Maybe Maybe 200 We could do a lot of 20 400 each It's all That's all I can do man It's all I can do for you I like that This is like We're way overpricing So no one buys them Yeah totally He just He goes And then he walks away And then he stops And he turns around And goes And keeps walking Through the market You just hear this Like Affronted sound Like a beacon Like every Fire Like a foghorn In the night And he walks The fuck away And Are you I assume you guys Are waiting Trying to tempt the We're waiting for Wendy to approach us Yeah and Wendy is You only notice Because you've seen her And you know what she And she's probably Trying not to hide from you Yeah But she's kind of Doing this like She'll glide Her cloak Blowing behind her Glide over to a booth And go Hmm I don't know And then look back at you She's pretty graceful And then she like spins And goes to another cart And looks at a knife And goes Hmm And then Tuck Leans into Ving And he's like Dude I think she's like Kind of trying to show off To you Or something Or like do something I don't know if she's Trying to show off to you No definitely not me I get the vibe That she's super Didn't like me She goes over To another cart And picks up some sort of Like tree fruit And looks at it And goes Hmm And then she like Walks past a guy And she's got As she like Passes There's a pasta guy?

She walks past a guy What are you fucking Trying to do here? Are you The intern? You son of a bitch She walks past Someone in front of her And as she crosses by As she comes out On the other side She has a glass Like a drink And she takes a sip And then the guy That she passed by Raises an apple To his face And goes What the fuck? Whoa God Did you see that?

Her tradecraft is like Fucking crazy good She's as good As Billy And she Glides over to you Hello there I see you are selling Some fine tree glider stock Yes hi My My I'm Jed Ah I'm Jed Sorry One more time I'm Jed Pleasure to meet you Chad Hey I'm Larry Wonderful And then The top of Larry's ears Are brushing against The little tent That they're in The stall you set up The stall that we're in Keeps like Pulling my head Back This is my elf friend Larry Charmed I'm sure And then I wiggle The ears at her Well unfortunately I am not in need Of any Tree gliders That's too bad It is What are you in need of?

Oh I'm just Passing through town I'm Mostly here To take in the amenities At a local hotel Ah Bing thinks he understands But doesn't I see I will be staying Staying At the double tree That's pretty funny I was trying to come up With a fucking hotel name And all I came up with Was double tree Ooh By Wyndham Hotel I will be staying At the double tree inn In the center Of the Trade district And then Tuck is like Cool yeah Yeah Bing Where should we We don't know Where we're gonna stay We don't have any I would say My favorite thing About the double tree is The double tree is The double tree is The double tree is The double tree is The double tree is The double tree is The double tree is The double tree is That there is a delicious Dinner Available At 830 In the evening We're gonna eat At the market There's a lot of things here I saw Billy Buy the pie cart He's definitely Eating a couple of those Ah wonderful And she turns around And goes to Billy He's uh He's He's at a little Science fair Trade cart Okay Okay And it's mostly Marketed towards children Uh huh But he's buying Little sciencey kits Nice Okay so there's a little What does that look like One in a fantasy world Two in an elf city Okay So They're little baskets That have been woven With like tree bark Mmhmm And inside Are like little vials Of vinegar And baking soda And um Plant dyes Uh huh For red food coloring Nice Um And like Arbutus Paper Mmhmm For paper mache Horse glue Uh huh From horses From horses Yeah I don't know Just like fun stuff Yeah Powdered Pigments Yeah totally And there's a There's a young elf woman Who has the vibe of like The people that work at the bug zoo Yeah Who's just like Yeah that one's really fun If you've never done like a Baking soda and Uh Vinegar volcano It's quite exciting No way Yes Does it explode pretty big Oh it explodes pretty big Oh they're gonna love this Make sure that your parents Uh Supervise you when you do this I don't really have parents I've always I've just always dreamed of Having one of these But Maybe one day I'll fulfill that dream She's crying instantly Look I I really shouldn't do this My My boss is going to be quite upset But I think science Should live In the heart of every child And not just those that can afford it You know Before my grandpappy Passed away That's exactly what he said to me Grandpappy Please And she takes one And she gives it to you And she closes your hands around it I couldn't I couldn't I couldn't You must I insist Are you sure Please Okay thank you bye And she stands up And the camera sees her Wipe her eyes And Billy's like Nice Fucking gotcha Another emotional manipulation check Is Billy a bad person He says this in his head Am I a bad person So he stops And a woman is towering above you Hello there I didn't steal this Oh I didn't take it I never would have dreamed Of accusing you of such things And she pulls her hood back Oh it's just you Okay And she puts her hood back on So I was just telling Two men who you might be acquainted with Uh huh That I'll be staying At the Double Tree Inn Okay I mean I don't Know what this has to do with me But whatever We're thinking about getting dinner Dinner At 8.30pm At the Double Tree Inn In the Trades District Oh I'll be there What are you having Have you looked at the menu yet We'll discuss it Do you have a copy of the menu So I can look at it I don't If you go to the Can you tell I can't read it I can't read the menu though Can you tell me what's on the menu So I can plan ahead We'll discuss it At the inn I didn't actually get a chance To look at the menu But it's important that you remember Double Tree Inn 8.30pm Yeah 8.30 Dinner time I'll see you there Very well And she stands up And takes a few steps Into the market crowd And you can't see her anymore I go back to the science lady She's back How much are these kits It's on the house young boy No how much are they What does the price say It says It says one coin I give her one coin Oh Well thank My grandpappy didn't die I just I told a lie I'm sorry Oh Oh What Nothing It's just that Well my grandpappy did die And he did love me And I didn't inherit anything I have to work this job And I don't get paid very much And I just I just don't know That I'm able to To survive on these wages Much longer Things are so hard In Hotwood City Wait that's convenient Who's that That's my grandpappy He looks Fine and well Yes he's He's never been healthier He's a thousand And ten years old And he's never been better He's in the prime of his life Kill me Somebody kill me He's got the elf madness For sure And that's why you shouldn't Lie to people little boy Look lady I'm really sorry I lied Well just you remember this You remember this lesson That I have taught you Go Scoot And she takes a broom And she starts Chasing you away I bought this fair and square I didn't do anything wrong I didn't do anything She looks like Michelle Pfeiffer From that movie Yeah And uh We cut back to the booth Fuck it It's gonna be really hard To figure out Where we're gonna stay tonight I don't know Billy comes running back in tears I don't know Whoa Billy What happened?

I did what you guys told me to do I told the truth Uh huh Uh huh Cause I was having fun I was getting stuff from people for free Uh huh I was still giving them money Wait Cause I had so much And it's heavy Uh huh But then I told the truth And she She didn't like it So I'm never gonna tell the truth again Wait a second That There's no way that's the way The full interaction went It totally was Are you leaving out any part of it?

Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Awesome And uh You hear behind you Oh Well these ones are beautiful Just a beautiful Beautiful specimen And you look and there's the older elf woman In the military garb Oh yeah Um And Tuck goes over to her And he's like Uh yeah These ones are They were raised to be military stock I can tell that they are military stock Mmhmm In fact they are Exceptionally Well bred military stock And they seem to be currently wearing armor Made from the woods In the style of the elven armor You see They Their father was a major And their mother was a major As well They are double majors Um It's in their genes to fly with armor Armor According to their parents' stylings Passed down from generation to generation Sugar to sugar And they're wearing armor Forever and ever And down the lines And they're also uh My name's Chad And I'm Larry Uh And the They've also been partially trained by our Our little breeder here Why yes I am the head trainer Um Of this cohort Mmhmm Um Watch this And I go to Clarence And I hold out a pie And I say Sit boy And he sits Because you're Directly communicating with him Uh Roll over Rolls over And I'm like Oh Good boy Give him the pie Thank you He eats the pie See And the When Clarence does all those moves The rest of the formation Like does them in sync Yeah Totally And I give them the rest of the pies Yeah They all gobbled them up Just incredible How much for all of them?

24,000 coins Yes My word That is a preposterous number You see this look on my face? Do you see preposterity? Upon my face? Chad's face? My Chad's face? Let me look something up real quick And she turns to an attendant Who has a bunch of sheets With stuff on it And we have about 20 of these guys, right? Oh no No We have like five Yeah We have about five of these guys, right?

Yeah It says 20 Oh my god I think I maybe Was being concussed Every two seconds On the way here It was like your vision was doubling Queen doubling It's like wow There's way fewer of them Than I remember Oh the imps must have been Must have got them He's holding a funeral For the lost That didn't die Yeah And she turns back From the attendant And says I couldn't possibly pay More than 1,500 coins You got yourself a deal Wow And then after that Tuck leans into Ving He like pulls him in close And he's like Is 1,500 more or less Than 24,000?

It's significantly less Fuck I don't know By quite a song Uh Very well Have them delivered To the Tree guard detachment Near the Trunk district Okay Gives you a little sheet Turn this in for your payment Job well done I think we Require A little Up front If we're gonna deliver them It's gonna cost us To bring them across town Five Gold coins each Should do the trick Less expensive Do you have dental? Somebody roll something To get a little up front What are you rolling?

Parley We'll deliver Five Pristine Amazing sugar gliders Later For a little Something right now Okay We've had a lot of people Offer us money Seven Okay Uh She says Alright Very well And she holds her hand out To the attendant behind her Who plops A bag of coins In her hand And Tosses you Thirty coins And uh Says But You know I've taken quite a shine To this one here And she sort of strokes Uh Clarence's head Says I think I'll take him now And Uh Tuck leans into Clarence And he's like Alright buddy She's gonna take you right now You gotta be brave But Everyone else will link up With you in a bit What?

I have to go by myself? It's okay I know it's very scary But don't worry We're all here And we're not gonna leave Without you What? And he's kinda like Shaking Aww Is there anything I can do To calm him? Uh I mean you could probably Use some fairy child stuff To relax him I could I have a Druid pipeweed Ooh Which is not marijuana Is it not? No I give him a hug Okay Can I roll plus charisma To give him a hug To make him feel brave?

Yeah totally 2d6 plus charisma For defy danger Ten Of course Uh And the Use my big brave point The guard Captain sees you hug The tree glider And goes Hm Quite unusual It's how they know That they're transferring owners And he's Like he's believed His own lie And he's He's crying It's like It's the only way To go I'm so sorry He has a Bad allergy To our Tree gliders Uh But this is how We trained them Was with love And kindness Which is why We're all crying Now that this one Is leaving Uh!

It's good that you've Given it a good base Of emotional response To its ownership Cause from here on out He's a military man I whisper to Clarence Don't listen to her Okay Just be a good boy We'll see you soon You're a wild one You're a wild one You're a wild one You're a wild one You're a wild one And she reaches back And the attendant Hands her A large collar That she Clanks around Clarence's neck Oh I wanna Punch her in the face With a rope Attached to it And she begins Leading him Through the Market We'll get We'll free all of them Billy don't worry Oh yeah I will give my life For Clarence Clarence is giving his life For us too He's doing his part So should we Deliver the rest of these guys And then go to the Where should we stay Oh yeah I gotta tell you We're gonna need Somewhere to eat too Yeah Actually Funny you should say that When I Ran into Wendy Oh we did too Yeah we saw Wendy Yeah she invited us To dinner At 8.30 tonight She did?

Yeah Oh she was inviting us To dinner Oh I thought she was saying She was going to dinner Yeah I was like That was rude She didn't even invite us It was ridiculous It was so rude Oh my god She probably It was probably code It was probably secret code Ranger code To say that we should Stay at the ranger She was being kind of weird About it And she wouldn't tell me What she was having What the menu looked like That's weird I thought that was weird That is weird Yeah Alright Well we have a plan For the evening Okay Okay Should we drop the rest Of the tree gliders off At the Yeah Yeah let's do that So you walk them Through town And you get a better look At sort of The immensity Of Heartwood Because we've talked About how like Elves Their population Is kind of stable At not as many As you would think Yeah But Heartwood Is still the densest Populated place In the city So after being In the forest For so long And in the north For so long You're like Wow There's so many People here Ving to you You can tell That there's like Been a bit of a shift In the culture Everything feels For lack of a better Word More Like human In a way Where that Comradery That unity The symbiosis That existed In the forest When you were younger Just doesn't feel Like it's quite as strong As it used to be Yeah these markets Were never this big Or busy Yeah there's like People on the streets Like sitting Against buildings Just looking dejected And people Obviously as wealthy As can be Walking right past them And there's like A prickliness To like A lot of the interactions Yeah It's less like Ah yeah I'm happy to provide This for you As you provide This for me And more like Fucking pay me Here's your shit I need mine I need mine Yeah Tuck is even noticing Like McCall is like A very like People dicker and stuff But there's like A friendliness to it Like It's an understanding Yeah where it's Sort of like New York Where it's like Hey we're all assholes But like We're all New Yorkers Isn't it kind of fun That we all suck a little bit Yeah But uh It's a waspy Kind of prickliness Yeah Where it's like There's no friendliness Or camaraderie to it People are afraid Yeah That's what it gets into Yeah And the uh The sun has begun To set On this day Becoming evening And the one thing That you're So glad still exists Is as the sun sets Um There's a Very light Creak creak Creak creak Like call in the air As these like Insects or something Start kind of calling To the sunset And all of these Glimmering lights Start to shine In the branches Of the heart tree So pretty Lighting the city Hmm For all Fireflies Fireflies Or maybe like There's like sap In the tree That is reflecting light Alongside These insects We're spouting lore Yeah I wanna Spout Lore Alright yeah let's do it These old bugs That's cool Nice Plus wisdom We got eight Eight So interesting But not useful Uh These are called Lamp flies Maybe I don't know Lamp Lamp something Lamp lighters Lamp lighter Yeah so these are called Lamp lighters They're an insect That is Almost only found In this part Of the forest And There are stories About like This is why elves Settled around The tree In the first Place Was on top Of it being A knowledge tree The light That the lamp Lighters provided Uh Felt like A location Of safety In this dangerous Part of the woods Zoologists think That they're like Related to the Bookworms Oh yeah Yeah Like the Are they like Sentient like Bookworms or something Probably a little bit Cause they were living In the They're living so close To the knowledge tree For so long right What if they're light Cause they Like to read And they Oh that's great Oh so they Oh they like to read Oh they like to read Oh they like to read Oh they like to read Oh they like to read Oh they light themselves up So they can read The bark of the knowledge tree Oh yeah That's really cute And maybe like They kind of bred The worms for the library From these guys Because they have like A natural skill set That's That they need Yeah Maybe over a longer Life cycle The worm is a Life stage of these guys Oh yeah Like a pupate stage Or whatever Yeah A worm stage Or it's like They never reach The lamp lighter stage Because they're Undergrounded in the Library and stuff Oh yeah They're so far away From the tree of knowledge Yeah We talked about In the almanac entry That we did for Bookworms That As far as anyone Actually no one in the Library knows where Bookworms came from Oh Just that they exist In the library And only in the library Yeah But that makes sense That maybe like A wizard bred them From Yeah Lamp lighters A long long time ago Or like they Came in on a shipment Of like Scrolls that came Oh I was thinking that too Like spiders In an arachnophobia It's like they live In the papers Yeah So there was maybe Eggs In the papers Yeah And then they like Naturally developed In the library They naturalized To the library environment Yeah They naturally had The ability to read So then the librarians Were like Oh shit We can use these For categorization I mean I think The first thing They probably said Is oh shit These bugs are reading They were like Oh we could use this Yeah Yeah cool So the The whole city Is lit With this like Warm glow But it is less It is lessened Than before Like it is dim And people clear The streets more I Yeah Cause the With the dimming Of the lamplighters There's like More shadows More gloom Than there was In ages past But uh You take your Tree gliders To Can I add one more thing Yeah It would be cute If like people in the city Called the time In the evening That they're Creating light As lamplight hour Yeah it's like A twilight kind of thing Yeah Yeah meet me up After lamplight Yeah I like that You better be in bed By lamplight Or The The!

Lamp man's Gonna get you Yeah lam man Um So yeah you take the tree gliders Through Town Lit by this Light from the lamplighters And Get a good look At the sort of Militia Or the tree guard Like detachment Oh yeah In uh Heartwood Which looks like It's been expanded on Like the original building Is part of the like Grown up through the roots Original construction Of heartwood But then it looks like There have been Buildings The ones that were like Taken down from the branches Like Attached to it To expand for More guards In the city You go There's a guy outside Waiting for the Tree gliders Just give him the rat Yep He hands you A bunch of money And takes the Tree gliders Hell yeah I hugged them all Uh huh Go through each Hugging Saluting Sir don't worry sir We will Do you proud Okay And don't worry We will come for you We await your signal Try and infiltrate The rest of the tree gliders Yeah Already done sir Already done wow He takes a bite Out of the stick That he's been carrying In his mouth Okay Right he's a detective now The rod at the heart Of the guard here Will lead me To the festering wound Of corruption In this city That's deep So cool I will be the scalpel That cuts it out Of the body So dumb Uh alright yeah And you get Uh Fifteen hundred coins Fifteen hundred and thirty Wait hold on Not fifteen hundred and thirty The thirty was from The fifteen hundred What?

Yeah you said up front Not extra No she said up front No deal We ripped up the red Yeah so you get Fourteen hundred and seventy Coins additional Yeah Yeah And uh I guess head off to The double tree Yeah And the double tree Is of course An inn Built in between Two trees Nice That were uh Grown from the roots And so lush That they have their own Branches and leaves Yeah It's a beautiful Flowing elven construction In between these two trees In the old style Yeah Yeah this is one of the Older buildings in the city There's a little Natural like uh Spring in front of it Yeah Beautiful Burbling up Yeah And Inside A very nice lobby Just like nice Wooden This is the nicest hotel I've ever seen Yeah We'll take this room Yeah We'll take it And the attendant Behind the counter goes Sir very funny But we have a number Of beautiful accommodations That would more than Suit you and your party Alright well Yeah we'd like to check in And uh We also have uh Dinner with a friend Of ours At eight thirty I believe we have Reservations Alright what's your name Chad Chad Chad Chad And Just Chad Also Chad Yes Too late I can't fix it We are the three Chads Yeah Tuck has forgotten his name So he's just like Also Chad My good man And he goes to like Nod at the guy And his ears brush the guy In the face When he nods He blows them out of the way And looks at his reservation sheet Oh I'm so sorry sir I have a Larry, Terry, and Chad But Three Chads I don't You must have used our Our maiden Our maiden names Our maiden names When we married We all took the first name Chad Well he's your Actually my two fathers And they named I'm named after them Yes Yes I understand We had a whole There was a more of a Naming ceremony Than it was a wedding ceremony Yes I understand To join us in union Chads I understand All elves I understand All of us are elves I understand Very good sirs Well We've got your It says here it's a double Are you just Are two of you sharing Are you I assume you're just sharing a bed Then We've got our dinner Lounge Off to this side So please feel free to Oh I'm so sorry There's just the matter Of your deposit And then Tuck puts A bag of Fifteen hundred coins On that Very good sir And he reaches in And takes a few coins Out of it How many you got there This is How much I like that Anytime Tuck does something With our money Billy's like No no no no Like he's just thinking About all the Like the ragamuffin Laws Where it's like You never show your money You never put all your Cards on the table And then also Interspersed between Those memories Are memories of Tuck Just wasting Hundreds of coins Yeah And then in his mind All of these like Eggs Benedict breakfasts That he could have bought With that money Like dance away From his mind Little tuxedo Eggs Benedict Yeah And the attendant Only takes out Like four coins Sweet Yeah Alright sir Enjoy your stay At the Double Tree Inn Thank you My name is Chad And I'll be here If you need anything Is it actually Chad Yeah it's Leth Chad Reander Enjoy dinner And he waves you Off to Which is What is basically Like a hotel bar We're gonna go To the hotel bar Yeah Oh so fancy There's a Elf woman Standing behind the bar Wiping glasses There's somebody Playing a piano And there's another elf Lying on the piano Yeah Singing a song Well laying on the elf Equivalent of a piano Which is a harp A harp Like on the top Laying on the top of the harp Yeah It's like a Yeah it's like a Wide-ish kind of harp Uh huh That squiggles around That's the fattest harp I've ever seen Tuxes And there's a There's an elf Laying on top Singing And it's just like Only you Just doing like A little crooning Yeah And you see Across the room In the cloak Still Hood down now With a Wendy Sitting at a table Wendy We came She closes her eyes You were Being secretive She waves you over Really aggressively We start walking over And bumping into A lot of tables and chairs Sorry pardon me Pardon me Excuse me That looks good What are you having?

Screw screw screw I'll have what he's having I know you didn't say I could bring them But like I I hope it's okay That I did And you sit down at the table And she leans forward A little bit And speaks Ving in this way That you remember Your dad speaking When you were younger This like special Ranger speaking technique Where it's Modulated So that it's just Loud enough for you to hear But basically Outside of this Thing It's almost impossible To listen to Do you Want to die?

Oh he gets Shivers Oh my god sorry I haven't heard That Do you have a death wish?

No no Then Then be Discreet Discreet Yes Discreet You came here On a mission Yes And we We have tried To explain to you The day That you Got lost In the forest In the forest In the forest In the forest In the forest In the forest And guess where we are now In the heart of the forest The heart of the forest Okay yeah Okay I'll be more discreet Put on sunglasses You're inside At night That is not discreet I have to say I have to say I've heard many stories About you And those That you travel with And I cannot Believe That the three of you Are responsible For the things That you're responsible for And have achieved The things That you have achieved And I cannot Well Then maybe You should trust In our methods This is how we are This is who we are We're gonna get it done She huffs out a sigh I suppose that's fair I'm sorry I do feel a little stupid About that restaurant thing You were being pretty Upfront and clear About that I thought so That's like Day one subterfuge Anyways You've made it Into the city Disguised Discreetly For the most part And now The only thing That remains Is to infiltrate The cloister And get you Get to the heart Of the tree And cure the corruption Within Uh There's like One matter That I'm curious about Did you bring Our weapons?

We kinda like Need those And she Cuts off a piece Of the like Meat that she's eating And very delicately Raises it to her mouth I did Nice And then Tuck Uh He does a very similar thing Where he cuts off a piece Of the meat That she's eating And then he Very delicately Raises it to his mouth But he takes it And he takes the lion's Chair of the meat And leaves a tiny piece there And then he's like Wonderful And she reaches for it And she cuts the last piece In half Kind of spreads them apart On the plate And pushes the plate Towards Ving and Billy Ving keeps eyes with Wendy And pushes his piece of meat Towards Billy's piece of meat We are about to enter A dangerous game La Ranga Vinga You would do well To listen to your compatriots Here and there And enter into The ancient pact Sharing of meat As you know On the eve of battle Is an important bond I take a little piece of meat That Billy's been chewing Out of his mouth Is that okay?

Oh yeah I didn't realize It was a symbolic thing Me neither Billy Can I use it okay I'll just have this Of course I taste Blueberry pie Then we are united In our goals Now I suppose That's all All that's left Is to rest And what is your plan Do you A plan to Infiltrate the cloister Socially I haven't had My appetizer yet Ah very well And she raises her hand And waves over a waiter And it's It's Chad again What can I do for you here Hi my name is Chad I'll be serving you tonight And he hands out some menus Here we take them Can I get you started With any drinks What is your specialty Our specialty is We call it The lamp lighter And it is Kind of a fermented Sweet Acidic soda Derived from The sap Of the lamp lighter fly Am I allowed that Is it Is it alcoholic Oh only the Mildest alcohol Does it have any cream in it No no cream It's actually sort of like It's like a carbonated It's kind of sweet And refreshing Yeah you can have that Billy Wait do you set it on fire at all No no no no Yeah you can have that Yes okay I'll have one Very good One lamp lighter I'll also have a lamp lighter Yeah that sounds good Two lamp lighters You know what I'll have a I'll have a lamp lighter too That sounds great Wonderful Three lamp lighters I'll have a lamp lighter as well Four lamp lighters it is Delightful I'll get right back with those And Oh okay bye Wait no what's Oh do you want to order some food now Yeah I'm ready Oh okay Can I have your roast beef and gravy please Yeah absolutely Can I have the whole roast beef I can see what I can do Yes Bing puts The Two coins on his little platter I'll see what I can do And he Swipes them off the thing Into his pocket And uh Tuck's like How many birds do you have Back there I'll tell you this much sir Not enough And then Tuck says Bring me all the birds Very good sir Very good And for you I'm good Very good I'll be right back Then uh Chad comes back with four glasses Sort of like a mojito glass Like kind of taller and thinner With this soda in it And it's kind of got a yellowish Orangist tinge to it And he puts it on the table And as he like taps them on the table They start to glow from the bottom up Cool As the lamp lighter sap illuminates Whoa Cool!

So cool! Uh we're quite proud of this one It's our signature beverage That's awesome And uh A few moments later He comes back with An entire roast beef And gravy And Probably Eight to twelve chickens Eight to twelve That's quite a spread Yeah This is a great start Who am I appetizing? And as you're eating Uh Wendy's drinking her drink And uh Asks So What is your plan?

To infiltrate the cloister Through the gardeners To the gardeners To sneak in In the night Full on Martial assault Yeah those are good plans I didn't think of any of those I mean sneaking through the night Is pretty fun I mean we do have the Gliders in there So uh You know when we give them the signal They'll hopefully be able to Break out Do you have any rangers On the inside of the stables?

Um Not yet But one of our agents Is working on it There are several rangers In the city As it stands And if If you'll give me Just a moment And she like reaches into this bag That she has She says So I have found One route In particular That I think will be quite And as she's like Unrolling this thing You hear from the other side Mummy Mummy I want a lamplighter Mummy Oh fuck Whatever you say Finn Galliard Finn You look over And Billy's Enemy Finn Walks into The dinner lounge At the double tree inn And that's where we're gonna end it For this week Oh shit Game master Sean O'Hara Joining me as always Playing Tacoma Dome The Barbarian of Dulaziz So long Playing Ving The Half-Elve Druid Paul Hoppers He's seen your fruit basket Playing Fat Billy The Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Do you think he's gonna recognize us?

I hope not Thank you to Aaron Reed For our intro and outro music You can find all of Aaron's Original music At aaronreed.bandcamp.com And all the music Produced for the show By Aaron And written by Abdul and myself At soundcloud.com Thank you to all of our Susporters Without whomst We could not do this show If you want to Support the show And get access to Bonus content Like a whole new campaign Set in the High Spear Mall Games run by Abdul and myself At the higher levels And a whole bunch more Check us out at Patreon.com Slash speltlore Or speltlore.com Slash money please And lastly And most of all Thank you to you For listening We'll see you next time And so ends the tale Of adventures three Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared And lost they be For time and time again Time's abreast in revelry And though our journey May be like a conclusion We will not leave you Without a resolution Return next week To hear some more Whilst you commute Or do your chores And for you I'd like to say Gladly speltlore

Spout Lore is only made possible through the contributions of listeners like you If you would like to donate Please go to Spout Lore dot com slash money please Or patreon dot com slash Spout Lore And if you go there you'll get a bunch of bonus content too Which is nice It's good bonus content I work really fucking hard on it Gather round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes Noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief Who is but nine years old You know them by name You know them by deed Their quests are famously daring So here I sit Singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute He knows not his home He loves to sing and fight Fingers have health He shifts his shape And wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief His tiny size does mask the largest heart Best in bread They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round, friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me, as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing V- Correct response. God damn it. This time. You said you weren't going to say anything. I'm glad you did it. I'm glad you did it. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello, everybody. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Also, hello, everybody. We all did it. We all said hello.

That mix-up was like when- Remember when we were trying to do the previously-ons? Oh my god. Yeah. And I kept saying next time on Spout Lore. Next time on Spout Lore. And Sean and I just listened back to it the other day, and it was because you said next time, and you put it- Paul, you put it in my head. I know. I'm the dumb one. I'll take that. And then it just stuck in my head. That's so fun. And it's like, it's the same reason why I can't remember whether Brendan's name is Brendan or Brander.

Because I did that too. It's Brendan. It's Brendan. Oh, god. This is what Paul does. When last we left our heroes, they were being accosted by imps in the bog, the frozen bog of Camp Alder, an old ranger outpost abandoned and destroyed following the flooding of the drowned forest. The party decided, faced with such an eldritch abomination, that the only course of action was to continue looting. We were moving really slowly, so we thought we had time. Oh, they're slow zombies.

So the party leapt across the pond on the back of Black Spire 2, and as the imps crossed the pond to the other side, they began merging and creating a new, more aggressive body. They found inside, the cabin, a dead ranger, likely the first talon of this camp, and Ving immediately stole from him. Well, no. Hey. You stole from a body? Just accept it. You're right. You all said grave robbing so many times. We gotta rob this grave.

Ving shot a bone at the imp, which immediately integrated it into its body. And then Billy had the plan to burn the whole place down, which worked, and they escaped into the trees, after a day of traveling. The party found themselves in the Chune Wood, surrounded by the ethereal haunting music of the forest. Without supplies to speak of, Ving went out to hunt, and stumbled upon a woman that we discovered to be a bounty hunter named Nyanna.

She did not immediately reveal herself as a bounty hunter, but after a thrilling chase, a tense negotiation for peace, and then a return to the campfire, Billy was able to communicate to Tuck that Nyanna was in fact a bounty hunter, planning on turning all of you in. And we did a cool, like, everybody moves at once, sort of, very quick fight, in which Tuck dealt a tremendous amount of damage to Nyanna. Billy convinced Nyanna to make a binding fairy oath to not pursue them on pain of death.

And she said, okay, whatever you say, kid, and then left. Uh, after that, we continued on through the tune wood, making camp in a fairy ring. Uh, Billy did a little dance and made a little offering to the mushrooms of the fairy ring, who basically created a protective circle around the fanny pack, which we have had this whole time. Yeah. Uh, inside we met Morris and Perel, who have just kind of been vibing out for a little bit. Uh, we had a dinner that Tuck made using, uh, conjuration.

And a thousand chickens. And a thousand birds of varying sizes. Yeah. You call it avion de mille. A million birds? That's a great name. Uh. That's so awesome. Wow. You should learn French. That's so, yeah, man, if I saw that on a menu, I would get that for sure. A million birds? A million birds? Yes, please. Uh, excuse me. Waiter, this is like three birds. It's not enough birds. It's not enough birds. It's not enough birds.

Following that meal, Ving took his watch outside the tent, just keeping an eye on the forest and the dangers that lie within, though they were protected in the tent and protected in the fairy ring. You never know what's going to show up. And what showed up was the Gibbous Man himself. Mm-hmm. The Gibbous Man looked Ving in the face and said, so you figured it out. And that is where we find our heroes now. Figured what out? Well, who I am. The God of the Sky? And he nods.

I have to say, I'm a little disappointed. How so? I thought you would have figured it out sooner, if I'm being honest. Ving takes a ladle out of the kettle that he has over the fire and pours it into a mug. Mm-hmm. Sips a tea. Do you want some tea? I would, but, and he tips his walking stick forward and it stops just at the barrier of the fairy ring. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal.

Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. Big deal. As the fairy light… Not before I see you! Damn it. As the fairy light crosses in front of your eyes, the gibbous man disappears. I shouldn't have said that last thing. And your watch continues.

Who has the watch where the sun comes up? Uh, can I take it? Yeah. Okay. I would also like to roll my fairy child. Oh, nice. Yeah. Six. Okay. On a six, I only get one hold. Oh, shit. For the day? For the day. I can't do anything. There's no pranks allowed today. Yeah, no wasted fairy child pranks. Billy, you go out and you're like, ah, a new day is rising. I'm so excited to see the sun. Start doing, like, my little yoga routine that no one gets to see. Special fairy yoga? Yeah.

Well, it's just Billy's stretch routine. He gets embarrassed if people see him do it. Uh, does the audience get to see it? Yeah. Oh, what does it look like? He starts off with a little bit of that, like, Tai Chi kind of movement. I think that's what it is. He does a little downward dog and touching his toes. He can touch his toes? No. Downward dog is touching his toes. And then, did you ever watch Big Comfy Coach? That's what I was thinking. The clock stretch? The clock stretch. Oh, yeah.

Dude, that's what he's saying to himself. Time for stretching time. Time for stretching time. Oh, that's great. And as you're doing your usual stretching routine, waiting for the sun to rise, a chill runs through you. And you get, like, a fraction of the warmth and a fraction of the sunlight that you're used to getting. Okay, I roll back into the sunlight. It's just cold here. Well, I guess that makes sense. We are in the frozen north, I say to myself. Uh-huh.

Did Ving, did you say anything to anybody as you, like, switched watches? No, I'll wait till everyone's up in the morning while I talk about it. Can I discern realities? Or about the cold? Yeah, yeah, you could. Eight. Okay, so you get one question. What here is not what it appears to be. Okay, so yeah, at first you're like, maybe it's just because it's cold here. Maybe it's just because it's the north and it's frozen all the time. But there is, like, a presence hanging in the air.

Where you, as this, like, extrasensory energy fairy being, feel like there was someone here. Ugh. And the mushrooms around the circle are like, they're, like, shivering. Are they cold? Are they scared? They seem scared. Oh, maybe the ones where he, like, touched his, like, staff. Like, beneath it, they're, like, kind of withered. Yeah. Little shriveled guys. Yeah, I'm inspecting my little mushroom friends. Oh. Are you scared? He was here. He was here? Yes. Who was he? The black-headed man. Oh.

He was… Was he dark as the night? Dark as the night, cold as the void. Oh. Is he gonna come back? I don't know. I'm gonna run inside, wake up Ving and Tuck. Uh, yeah, Tuck is… Tuck is also doing secret stretches. What are his secret stretches look like? What do I… What do I… What do I… What do I… What do I… What do I… What do I… What do I… What do I… What do I… What do I… What do I… What do I… What do I… Did you talk to the mushrooms? Yes.

And they said that a black-headed figure, dark as the night, cold as the void, that he made a visit. And is it who I think it is? Yeah. Come here. Hold my hand. Okay. And I'll show them what I saw last night. Oh, yeah. I hold your hand. Yeah. You see a man below average height for a man, older, 60s or 70s, short white beard, wide-brimmed black hat, black traveling clothes, and a walking stick, one blue eye, one black eye. Oh, fuck. Holy shit. Yeah. Can I discern reality?

Yeah, you can discern realities. To inspect him through the memory? Yeah. Okay, here we go. Discern realities, plus wisdom, which I have a negative one on, and that's a four, so. And that's a what? I got a four. Fuck. Oh, no. I like that he's, you know, when you're remembering a memory, it's not accurate, and that's kind of the failure there. You can't inspect somebody else's memory because they're not accurate. And then also his presence in Ving's mind would be weird. Yeah.

That's what I was thinking, too. Oh, what if he, like, the memory becomes, like, fractured? Oh. Yeah. Yeah, because in that Stalwart Sons song, the lyric on the last verse is, do not speak my name. So he, like, protects his identity a lot. So it would make sense that he would have the ability to, like, remove himself. Yeah, totally. So you don't get anything from this. This memory at all. Fuck. He said he'd be back. He didn't say when. Did he tell you anything else?

I, um, he said that he was disappointed a little bit. In what? I don't know, in us. I think he was trying to, like, you know that, like, really proud, like, God complex kind of daddy issues playing out? Oh, I thought you'd do better. I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. Yeah, totally. Totally. I totally know what it's like to have a dad. Yeah, me too. You're talking to two people who have no frame of reference. You know, like, when your mom's like, oh, I made spaghetti again for dinner.

And you're like, oh, spaghetti again is delicious, but again. Wow. Yeah, I would hate if a nice mom cooked me a meal twice in a row. Yeah, fucking sucks having someone make you food and not want anything out of you or be mad at you for stealing it. I don't know. Wait a second. I thought the gibbous man would, like, leave us. I don't know. I've thought, like, I don't know. I feel like he's, like, way trickier. Like, he would try and convince us of something or give us a boon.

Like, try and tempt us into a deal kind of thing. I don't know. Like, I feel like he would, it would be, like, some, like, thing, like, riddly or. Well, he hasn't done anything. He's just revealed himself that he knows where we are. Yeah. Did he do anything to you? No, he tried to get in the circle, the fairy circle, and he couldn't get in.

Can we, is there a way we can, Billy, is there a way you can use lighting in a bottle to see if, like, the gibbous man fucked up Ving's mind when he talked to him? What? Because it's like he was in your head, right? He was in our thing? Yeah. Seems kind of rude. I don't know. I mean, I give you permission if you think he might have given me, told me something that wasn't there that I don't remember. What do you mean in his mind? Yeah.

Because it seems, it does seem weird that he would just show up and be like, what's up? So it's like, maybe he, like, did something to Ving, like, in that moment. Because he was also, you were communing with the whispers, right? So he was kind of in your head? Right, yeah. Because he was like, you nodded off, and then he was there. Yeah, I was, like, in a different space, kept, well, I mean, I couldn't, yeah. Yeah, what if something happened while you were, like, communing?

Yeah, if he, like, got in there or left something in there. What if there's a coin in your head now? Open your mouth. Open my mouth. And then Tuck, like, pulls Ving over to him, and he looks into his mouth, like a psychotic dentist. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Billy's looking deep into his throat, like, I don't see anything. Billy, use your binoculars to look into his mouth. I am going all the way in. God, God. And Morris and Perel walk in at this moment.

Get it out, get it out, get it out. Where we're leaned over Ving. Billy's got his little grubby hands in his mouth. Move your tongue to the side. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Ving's shaking his head. I can feel it rattling. I can feel it rattling. We're all freaking out now. There's a coin in my hand. There's a coin in my hand. Turn him upside down. Turn him upside down. Shake it out of him.

He's already upside down. I'm shaking him so hard. Harder, harder, harder. Can I roll to shake the coin out of his brain? You don't have to roll to do it. No, don't feel this. Don't feel this. I got an 11. Yeah, you really shake the shit out of Ving. Ving, get it open all of your holes. Let it out. Relax. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Done. Done. What comes out of Ving? Some bird from last night. And a lot of marble cheese. Marble cheese. Like a log of melted marble cheese.

That's a lot of cheese, Ving. I really do. I love Tuck's cooking. I got to say, Perel put his hands on his solar plexus. He's like, I got to say, the same thing happened to me last night. Like, it was delicious, Tuck, for a little bit. But after that, that's too many birds, I think. It's too many birds. It's too many birds. And then Tuck is… His feelings are hurt, for sure. Because he said it's too many birds. Yeah, he said it was too many birds.

And in his head, he's like, I slaved over a hot golem for those birds. I shattered a fucking priceless sword to make that happen. Fuck. And Morris is like, so is this normal or did something happen? The Gibbous Man was here last night. What? The Gibbous Man. Yes. The one we've been looking for. Well, we think so. All right, let's get to work. Tell me everything you know. He put a coin in my head. I think he fucked me up. I think I'm on a ton of time for the evil Gibbous Man now.

I can feel it rattling around in my head. There's for sure. If there's anything we know for sure, there is for sure a coin in Ving's head. Or… You should… You should what? I'm just wondering, like, should Billy actually do lightning in a bottle to confirm if he's… If this is true. Yeah, totally. Ving, do I have permission to do lightning in a bottle to make sure there's no coins rattling around in your head? Billy says the name of the move that's on his character sheet.

Did you think of that? Ving doesn't know what Billy's talking about. He just wants his little game. Do I have permission to use lightning in a bottle? Now my charisma stat is pretty high. Pretty high. So I'm probably gonna be… I'm probably not gonna fail. I do have hot shit rolls. I trend towards hot shit rolls. Yeah. And he's holding two dinner rolls. Billy. Yeah. I give you permission to take this coin out of the jar of my head. Okay, let me take a look, Elu. Do I roll for it?

No, not on Ving. Really? Really? Yeah, I think we've talked about how you don't have to roll if it's on, like, a willing participant. Do you need anything from me? Lie down? Stand up? Squat? I am below drags. One of Perel's little looking glasses. Uh-huh. A little vanity mirror up to Ving. And we're gonna watch it together. Watch the memory of… Yeah. The Gibbous Man? Yeah. Okay. Tuck, you can squeeze in here if you want. Oh, yeah. I squeeze in between them, behind them.

And Perel, and then Morris also squeeze away. Yeah. And then Victor also. I can get a bigger mirror. Yeah. So, the way that you tried to, like, watch it through Ving with the Chamberlain rings, you realize must have been a Communion of Whispers style situation in which, like, you were seeing the Gibbous Man through Ving's spiritual lens. Mm-hmm. So, you look at it through this mirror, and you're seeing it through Ving's physical eyes. Okay.

Like, the stimulus that he was taking in while he was communing. And, oh, it's actually, it's kind of like a slideshow of both. Like, you're seeing, like, this fractured image that you saw in the Chamberlain vision. Mm-hmm. Of, like, a man in a wide hat and a cloak, but, like, kind of shattered glass. As you're trying to look at him, his shape doesn't quite take form. Oh, yeah. I like that sometimes the glass looks like it falls inward into the void of his body. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, sometimes the aspect stretches in a weird way to encompass, like, the entirety of a horizon. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then comes back. So, then through Ving's physical eyes, what you see, and what the Gibbous Man must have actually seen. What the Gibbous Man actually appeared like in that moment is just a patch of absolutely light-sucking, day-killing, darkest night. And a globe of pure bright blue, like, on the right side of this thing's face. Uh-huh.

And that's much clearer than the fractured human aspect that you see in Ving's mind. Whoa. Just this, like, cloak of pitch-black midnight. So cool. Is there any indication that he, uh, like, suborned Ving's mind in some way? No. Okay. No, there's not. There's gotta be some way that he fucked this guy up. Morris, uh, is looking at this image of the Gibbous Man and the Gibbous Man's maybe true aspect. Mm-hmm. And he's like, I think I know what he did.

He said a handful of words, and you're all freaking the fuck out. What? Could it be? Could it be that that was his trick? Could it be the evening sky? Yes. In quite a literal way, yes, it was. Gas lit down upon me? So, I mean, if what we know about the Gibbous Man is true, it seems like he either did something that is a secret trick, or he did nothing, and that was his trick. Ugh. He's making us question our own sanity. All it took was the slightest nudge, and you're all questioning yourselves.

Right. I don't trust Ving anymore. What are you talking about? I, now I don't trust you anymore, because you don't trust Ving. Look, look. Maybe he got to you. I've never had Billy reach into my mind with his fairy fingers. I don't trust him anymore. And I don't trust you anymore, Billy. What? You, you asked me to do this. Morris, I've never trusted you. This is a trap. Morris holds up his hands. Hey, look. No one trusts anyone, okay? That's just life. The aspect ratio?

The ratio stretches to like 16 by 1 or whatever cinematic ratio, and then we all pull out guns. It's a Mexican stamp. Yeah. A tumbleweed blows through the center of the sitting room. I grab my mirror. I'm like, fine. If no one likes my cool tricks, I'm going to just go in my little hidey hole and do them myself. Billy, you don't have to go in your hidey hole. No. I want to. Look at what the gibbous man has done. Tearing us apart. Yeah. And it only took him like two hours. Oh my God. We have to.

We have to be stronger and stay together more than this. We can't let this happen. I'll never be on Nightwatch again. I see what's happening. I mean, based on what you said, we were safe in the fairy circle. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He couldn't get in. Yeah. You're all welcome. Thank you, Billy. Thank you for your fairy circle. Billy, do you know how often these pop up? How rare is a fairy circle? Billy is ignoring Vane. He's turned his back around. I know. And then Tuck realizes that he fucked up.

He goes over to Billy and he's like, okay, Billy, I shouldn't have said I didn't trust you. I obviously trust you, Billy. And it was my fault. And I reacted too quickly. And I'm sorry for that. I trust you too, Billy. I just felt that power in my head and it freaked me out. And I got scared. And sometimes when adults act scared, they say things they don't mean. Adults get scared just like little kids get scared.

And sometimes when we get scared, we force each other's mouths open and we dig around in there and we scream that there are coins inside of each other's heads. We put coins in each other's heads in our mind. I understand now. I'm sorry. Okay. I'll answer your question now. Let's Spout Lore about fairy circles because we have never talked about this before. Would you ask again? How often are they? How rare are they? Can we like hopscotch the fairy circles and use them as camp? Are you rolling?

Nope. You are. I think I was asking Billy. Yeah. And I think that you. You will tell me depending on this role. 10. Beautiful. So yeah, tell me. Within reason. Within reason. It's not like they're every two steps. You know what I mean? No. But like tell me about fairy circles. They're dependent on their environment. So if we're in like a damp forest, you're going to find them more frequently.

If we want to make sure we're kind of always safe from the gibbous man, is it possible that there are enough fairy circles that we can always make camp? Yeah. Yeah. If we can find one, like we can like go out of our way to search them out.

I would say if I had to guess that like there is kind of enough fairy circles in the forest that you would be able to camp in them, but like you would have to maybe travel a night or two without resting if you wanted to make camp specifically in a fairy circle. Because then we're not just traveling, we're traveling and searching. Yeah, exactly. Well, how far are we from the tree? I feel like we've probably like traversed half. At least. At least. At least. At least. At least. At least. At least.

At least. At least. At least. At least. At least. At least. At least. At least. At least. At least. At least.

Ask the mushrooms like that's the only way you would know where to find more because they're all connected oh cool oh it's like a mycelium kind of thing that's all the fairy circles are connected or every fairy in the circle is connected every fairy circle is connected oh cool that is cool that's sick what's the purpose of fairy circles there's not really one it's basically just like a well-trodden path for fairies so more like it's like if a lot of them tend to like linger in the same area or like come and go from the same areas that will create I don't know like a little concentration cool in the mushroom books they always talk about that it's a place where fairies gather and dance so it's like their little like barn where they have their square dance yeah totally I love that so you said they were kind of like wi-fi hot spots so is it the same thing where fairies are traveling from the fairy realm to our world yeah I guess in a way it could be like an you know for a fairy it's an open door versus a locked door cool but it could also just be a spot that they like hanging out in and dancing around oh cool I like that yeah cool so you're gonna ask the mushrooms yeah where the next one is side victor comes with me to sniff around and have a pee oh cool yeah so you don't see like victor's outside and you can't see him but you just like hear all you see is a stream of this hitting a tree don't pee on the mushrooms victor no I thought I want these two I'm sorry and then he goes back out into the trees he's starting he's starting to defer to billy quite a lot the marbles yeah oh yeah you do have the marbles right please do not do not take away marble I will go pee in the trees we use the marbles to try and keep billy in check and billy use the marbles to control the dog uh-huh uh yeah victor walks outside with you and you can he stops okay and like what do you start to growl the stink of gods is he still here no but he's think is oh and he goes out and pisses in the trees so victor can sniff out gods whoa oh gods sorry I thought you said goats I genuinely didn't think there are goats nearby and nothing I hate more than disgusting goats uh but yeah he goes and pisses in the woods okay I'll talk to the mushrooms oh quite a night quite a night it's probably a lot hey it was has he ever visited before no not here but I have I've heard stories where else where else is he frequent wherever the night sky kisses the earth he can be oh come on enough with the riddles I'm a fucking fairy I know but I'm in a human body right now and my human brain can't comprehend the riddles as easily as I can I'm a fucking fairy I'm a fucking fairy I'm a fucking fairy I'm a fucking fairy I don't okay so where what do you want to know I'm sorry little mushroom no it's fine what do you want to know I'm sorry what do you want to know oh no oh have I offended you no no not at all what do you want to know oh have I offended the mushroom I mean I think that like yes in the capricious way oh no you were like do this and he's like don't tell me what to do I'm sorry that's fine I'm used to eating shit I just eat shit every day okay now I just want to know are there any more of you between here and the heart tree I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know one or two okay it would take us no time to get there but for you and your bigger friends it might take two sons okay be careful I will I'm really sorry that you got snippy it's okay I was scared of of the gibbous man with good reason I'll leave you some m&ms fuck yes so I sprinkled some candies and you see like little like like my psyllium shoots come up and like grab the mushroom the m&ms and pull them into the earth and they're like oh fuck yeah oh man so good whoa that's a lot yeah so much sugar I know I'm so little and you get like a general kind of like you can feel your brain like pulling in a direction so you kind of know generally where that's thanks to the mushrooms I I did offend them but my m&ms kind of like repaired our relationship exactly so they're pointing me the way yeah okay I kissed the little mushroom thank you thank you the social structure of like fairy seems to be almost identical to like eight-year-olds where it's like you piss each other off so fast and then you can make up by just giving each other m&ms instantly yeah yeah so you know that like um between you and the heart tree it's like gonna take you longer to get there if you want to camp in the rings but like a day day and a half longer okay I ask you I let you guys all know what the mushroom told me yeah we as you were talking about the mushroom I was like I don't know what the mushroom told me we were talking about the mushroom we were trying to like put the tent down and like tear down camp we're like billy we're fucking we're all doing work here okay I'm also doing work but I'm just laying on my stomach kicking my legs talking the mushroom and then I talked to vayne I'm like we gotta get him doing more chores like this is bad this is I mean but in his mind he's doing more chores than we are probably balance that out there is one way I know marbles yeah marbles the marbles control all things now I ask of you one more question one task one request please open the bag I want to be inside the bag oh so yeah before we kind of like pull the tent poles out we just hold it open for him as you're reopening the bag like a dog he's like already shoving his nose in and like scrabbling at the bottom the bag I must be in the bag and then his tail goes through and I love that we have a dog you said those exact words so many times so happy yeah so he's inside the bag now nice yeah but uh yeah so billy knows kind of the direction of the next fairy circle yeah we'll have to follow the arc of the sun get the next one cool that is cool very cool uh yeah so I think we're gonna do a unless you have anything else you want to do directly in this area maybe we should we have a little chat about what we're gonna do when we get to the heart tree yeah will there be like another sort of like court there that's a good question um that is one thing is we've kind of I assume that the party has been actively avoiding like population centers yeah do we think that there's anyone that lives around the heart tree yeah would it be like the center of their civilization do you guys think so oh so we're going to like capital city like a bunch of people live at the heart tree yeah it is the middle of the city that is the middle of the forest kind of thing okay cool that changes everything in my mind yeah I just pictured a tree there but why would that be yeah they would never leave it unprotected camera zooms in on the heart tree as it zooms out you see like it's within a court that is within like a citadel kind of thing exactly yeah and then you as you zoom out from like the citadel where you see like monks moving around and tending the trees it's like a massive sprawling city there's huge aquifers like made of wood like running around it going out into different parts of the city yeah they're running water and everything to the hardwood and I do like the rome thing where it's like there is like this this city is teeming with life it is like uh panem in the heart of the city and it's like like uh in the hunger games in the hunger games yeah there's people all over and it makes sense like all roads lead to rome because the roots of the heart tree connect all parts of the forest so everything does lead to this place so when we get to the end of this road we're doing city stuff yeah which means disguise yeah totally hell yeah breakfast restaurants probably they're probably and the marble jar is getting pretty full have to do so many good deeds because tuck to make it up to billy for being mean to him this morning dumped like 15 of them well that's not helping him either I know but we fucked up so bad come on man he saw god I told him I didn't trust him uh okay so there's a city at the center of the wood heartwood yeah I like that name yeah yeah so heartwood is this is the capital city of the elves but here between here and heartwood is a big old stretch of wood and a fairy circle that you're relying on to keep you safe from the sky can we all think of a thing that we pass by as we walk through the chune wood yeah totally you're leaping through the forest on the back of your noble tree gliders and you see uh vincey's uh um this like old elf with like long hair with like dreaded hair up in the trees with like this like little woven cedar bark harness thing that he's up top in the trees and he's like what is he doing and he's got this giant backpack with jugs on it full of jugs glass bottles hanging from everywhere he almost looks like a and he's up there and he's recording the he's gathering the tune music yeah he's like an old hippie he was like sounds of the forest and he sells these tapes of solitude to people in the city to be like oh you can't hear it because all the chune trees are gone from the city center yeah so he gets uh he takes people into like nostalgic remember what nature sounds like that sort of thing nice oh my goodness I love that I mean if you guys are just riding by I think he's recording he's just like what's up hello there morning what you got just the sounds of nature man beautiful oh it's nothing like it only two coins oh shit yeah I'll go oh what fuck yeah dude two coins but you get three for ten oh shit yeah dude we'd be losing money if we didn't get three can't afford not to I say get six yeah I gotta get six yeah how many are six 25 coins bro wait the price goes up if you get six he said one for two or three for ten yeah and then six it was 25 yeah yeah it's all going up and price the more we get to wait no if we get one bottle it's two coins it's two coins three balls is ten coins oh shit we got bamboozled so fast you were just idiots no both I and tucker am very stupid I'm so glad that that actually worked wow I can't believe it yeah why why why we stop at ten let's get 20 damn it yeah man fucking they're flying off the shelves the second I get to heartwood these things are gone baby man we gotta act fast give me everything you have do you have any with june bugs oh yeah you know it and he pulls a bottle off his back and it's it's already corked but there's a little tune beetle inside it guys you're gonna love that when the when the when the june bugs and the tune bugs get together it's like a symphony I can't wait yeah bro nothing you've never heard anything like it man um I I pull out a couple coins from my pocket to add to the pile clink ving you have all of our money how how much is it for everything for every for everything we'll we'll take three okay we'll take three one each you guys listen what kind of you pick your bottle I mean they're great they're great for holidays great for presents which holiday is coming up soon which elven holiday I forget it's been a while it's uh first light bro oh cool yeah oh man and you know you gotta get a good present for your lover for first light not you little guy you gotta get a good present I could have a lover yeah I could have a lover yeah no no idea what a lover is I love my moment I love I love my dog I love the dog you think victor can't enjoy music yeah man you can get a bottle for your dog I'll take the little uh purple bottle here you go little boy it's a small and cute thank you two coins okay thank you I'll go right off uh what what tell me what you got I've got 10 coins what billy's got 10 coins yeah tuck didn't doesn't have any coins ving took all the money from me because I keep doing stuff like this I give tuck two coins can I have two yeah thanks billy borrowing money and I put two marbles in the jar as an even trade direct bribing I give tuck the rest of my six coins oh sick six more marbles okay how many will six coins get me god I'm terrible with money six coins gets you two man okay wow dude I really appreciate all the deals you're giving me fuck yeah and I give it here you go what bottles is he giving me well he's giving these are sounds of the forest man but is there specific ones are they all the same I mean they're not all the same some of them are different sometimes I like put my hands over the holes and I kind of like you know what I mean if you touch the ball you can kind of feel it vibrate so you know what you want so I feel I touch one of the bottles yeah this one sounds like uh don't worry about a thing fuck that and then I grab another one uh uh I'm sorry I lied to you oh yeah this is awesome I'm so sorry yeah I grabbed the one that's blink what I need to my grandson recorded that one man so I grab you know what I mean I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry the two pop punk ones yeah one of them has a little uh tune beetle in it and he's got one of his pieces of chitin has come off his head and created bangs that go across one eye great yeah my grandson loves these man man your grandson's fucking cool is fucking cool man his dad not so cool that's a lot of information about your family to tell a stranger why do you think I'm out here from talking shit about my family today everyone what about you big guy um do you have any just silence solitude silence any points at you and he goes yeah brother I like the way you think check it out and he reaches back and he pulls out a little bottle that's like long and thin here you go brother thank you the purest silence the sound of silence hello I've come to talk with you again it's not like pure silence because I mean I go out there and I record the silence and I get kind of bored so I sing a little bit but it's mostly original so you know it's kind of one of a kind sort of priceless really if you think about it sick what's your name leo man cool thanks leo yeah yeah leo short for uh I know you all have weird names yeah yeah all right well I it's short for leo yeah thanks man it means uh great cat of the morning do I mean you knew that though well I mean yeah it's been a while since I've I forgot what I meant yeah yeah yeah it's hard because it sounds a lot like which means uh dog of the do yeah there you go yeah big dewy dog so anyways five coins for the silence great here you go thank you wow it's been great doing business with you yeah how's the road to hartwood oh uh you know I'm more of a people power kind of guy so I usually just walk and I walk up here so it's not so bad takes me like a week oh wow but I don't have any of these big bros he points into the trees at all the tree gliders uh is there anything weird that we should kind of be on the lookout for or whatever on the way uh nah man it's fucking chill up here you just gotta like walk you gotta be quiet and you gotta watch out for the uh for the tree guard you know but always you gotta watch out for the tree guard tree guard oh the tree guard you guys remember being accosted by two tree glider riding guards oh there's so many gliders in the center of the forest in heartwood oh maybe we could disguise ourselves as tree guards because we have the gliders where maybe we can say that we're um like you're like dog trainers like we've trained these animals and we've come to sell them to the guard in town oh yeah I like that a lot yeah that's a good idea are you a dog trainer?

Are you guys okay with it? Ask the sugar gliders how do you feel about this plan? Clarence is like you'll have to wear a saddle again I'm sorry just for a short while sir anything for the subterfuge mission sir?

And clarence is like uh all right okay yeah I'll do it I'll do it I I don't need to my mom and dad are probably fine I don't need to worry about it I sent word to them oh oh that's great I was I sent bird to them well hopefully hopefully we get bird back but I'm just uh I'm glad that they don't think that I've been killed yeah so you're not gonna sell us though that's no oh no never no in this economy okay yeah yeah sounds good okay uh all right well you know happy trails guys bye and he's just hanging in the tree with two open bottles recording the sounds of the tune we're really lucky that guy's such a burnout or else or else he would hold on us for sure for sure for sure for sure for sure for sure for sure for sure for sure for sure for sure uh so oh wait we're doing more stuff yeah that you guys see right all right so I think it's like afternoon now should should we run into an animal or like a structure I think structure's cool yeah yeah okay the discovery is a road oh oh in the tops of the trees oh oh yeah because leo said he walks up here this must have been what he was referring to leo's like like treetop roads oh cool but other people use it too for sure yeah it's branches that are just kind of interconnected but you see like ribbons tied to branches that create boundaries of the road so you're just like the tree gliders uh slow down and are just like oh it's nice to just walk you know yeah we run and glide so much it's also nice for us because we're not like being whipped around for 12 hours a day my kidneys are sore my neck hurts so much I think I'm worse at math now yeah yeah You're even worse.

Now that we're just walking, I think we got a pretty bad deal on these jars. We were so scrambled in our heads. Wait a second. How much did you guys end up spending? I spent five coins. We spent ten coins. Yeah, we spent a full ten coins on three. Yeah. He got you. He got you back to the ten. Fuck. Fifteen coins could have bought us so many breakfasts. I mean, fifteen coins was how much your meal cost at the Husky. Fuck. Don't tell him that. No.

Don't use the H word around him when he's so excited. I told you not to bring up the H-U-S-K-Y. H-U-S-K-Y. That means marbles. So you make it to the next fairy circle in record time. And you have a relatively eventless night in the fairy circle. The mushrooms here go, oh, no, we heard. Don't worry. Come on in. And set up their little protective field. Unless there's anything specific you want to do in the tent. Morris and Perel are just kind of hanging out there.

They've been doing some work researching other magic stuff, mostly volcanoes. Although, no, they've moved on to they've moved on to making a bridge and then seeing if they can drive a little car across it. They have the little metal dwarf that you guys got. Oh, sick. Oh, the little helper one. Yeah. Yeah. So they like build a bridge out of toothpicks and tape and they're like, walk across the bridge. And he walks. And it doesn't break. And they're like. Yes.

We didn't do a watch tonight because we're all too scared of sleeping outside. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. We zipped up inside. Yeah. We are hoping that the. That the gibbous man doesn't come knocking. Yeah. Having spent all supper carving mushrooms out of woods and pine cones and sitting them around like, I don't know. Maybe that'll do. I don't know. I hope that's OK. That's a really cute idea. I'm just imbued with like, just like. Spears. Spears. Spears. Spears. Yeah.

I think the only thing that Tuck would want to do because he's like missing Black Spire after. After naming that tree glider Black Spire too. Yeah. So he wants to try and use that like pick that Ving gave him to like check in on Black Spire and see how he's doing. Yeah. Totally. Like just while he's going to sleep, he like holds on to it. And like as he's drifting off, he tries to like make a connection with him. Yeah. And see what's going on over there. So yeah. How do you. Was this.

This was a role, wasn't it? I can't remember. No, I think it's just like it's Ving's Eye of the Tiger. Eye of the Tiger. Yeah. So yeah. You. You hold on to the pick. And I like uncork one of the punk bottles that I. Yeah. Totally. I'm listening to him like Black Spire would love this. If he was here, we were able to take him on that fucking boat. That for sure would fit on. He for sure would have fit on that boat. We've rehashed this so many times. Leave it alone.

And you are brought back to, you know, different time zones. But you see. See through Black Spire's eyes. You're in what looks like a lab in the library. Whoa. And there are a bunch of librarians with goggles and clipboards and stuff kind of standing around him. Not a volcano in sight. Like they're doing some weird science. I can't even. I don't know how legitimate this information is going to be. A pseudoscience I would call it.

If you walk into a lab and you don't see a single baking soda and vinegar volcano, turn around, walk out. Yeah. Those guys are nuts. Yeah. Yeah. Getting published in Nature. Uh-huh. And he's being like prodded and he's just like. And they like somebody. The guy with sort of like the German accent. The like zoologist. Yeah. Reaches down and grabs like his paw, his front paw and picks it up. And Black Spire like holds up his paw.

And you see that some of the scales on the back of his hand have started to become like a glimmering white. Whoa. That's sick. Yeah. All the sunstone he's crunching. Oh, maybe. Tiny crunch. And I mean like the image isn't going to go away. You can just kind of watch Black Spire do his thing. I want to watch. Yeah. We all want to watch. Yeah. Are you guys doing like a Chamberlain ring? Yeah. Like shared dream watch party as you go to sleep? Yeah.

There's like a giant beanbag chair in the lounge and we're all like lying down on it together. Bing was lying with his back to tuck and then he rolled over and kind of spooned him. He was like, what you doing? Looks like you guys are in a fucking like 1970s flop house. Just like on beanbags. Yeah. Beanbags like, oh man. Vibing out to this dream. Yeah. And after a while of him being prodded and you just watching, he goes, tuck. Oh, Black Spire. Am I going fucking crazy right now? No, dude.

This is the because you gave Bing that scale of yours. He did like some spirit thing on it so I could see through your eyes. We're all here. What the fuck? What is fucking up, you guys? What is up? Holy fuck. This is amazing. Hey. This is amazing. How's the library? Oh, it's great, man. They're feeding me like hardcore crunch all the time and they're fucking poking me and it feels so good. You know how hard it is to get to an itch when your fucking scales are like two and a half inches thick?

I have an idea. Oh my God. It feels so good. That's great. What's going on with your hand? Are you eating the shiny crunch that you're finding? Well, they're feeding it to me. They're giving it to you on purpose? Yeah. I think they think that it's like. I look fucking sick how cool I look. So they want me to look even cooler. You do look fucking sick. I look fucking cool as hell because like some of my skills, like my skills are still like black for the most part.

And then some of them are white and it's fucking sick. Oh my God. He looks cute. Can you go over to a mirror so we can see you? Yeah, totally. And he like walks forward and bowls a bunch. Yeah. And also he's been speaking out loud. So he's just been screaming. Everyone's like, what the fuck is happening? Stop prodding him right now. He just walks forward and shoulders a bunch of people. Out of the way, knocks a bunch of shit over because this room is like, it looks like this.

You can see as he like looks around that it seems like this room was recently recarved a little to be like made bigger. So he's got a little bit more room to maneuver. Cool. And he goes up to a mirror that is not made for a dragon and he sticks his head and you can see his like big bulldog head and like he's got where the scale was taken away from the middle of his forehead is still blank. But he's got like a little. Pattern of white shining scales. Oh my God. On his forehead now.

Like a little tuxedo cat. Exactly. He's looking kind of like a tuxedo cat. Oh man. You look fucking sick. Dude. Isn't it fucking cool? So cute. And he opens his, he opens his mouth and like a dog smile and is like big tongue laws out. It's like shaking his head back and forth. And then that German librarian is like, the dragon seems to be very enamored with his own reflection. There's like furious scribbling from all the. He seems as if a man peering into his own soul for all eternity.

Just this burner hurts. Yeah. Maybe you are all just a black and white dog peering into eternity. Well, I really, I really am so happy to hear from you guys and I hope that you're doing okay over there. We're doing okay. We would do better if you were here. We miss you so much. I miss you guys too. It's pretty sick here.

Overall, I get to kind of do whatever I want and I get to go into the shit hole all the time and they come out and they hose me down and it's awesome and I get to eat a lot and I get to play whenever I want. That sounds fucking rad, dude. I fucking miss you bro so fucking much. I miss you too buddy. I wouldn't get to do any of this shit if it wasn't for you bros. You fucking did this for me bros. That's very sweet. We wouldn't be fucking alive did it ever work for you. I miss you too buddy.

I miss you too. I miss you too. I miss you too. I miss you too. I miss you too buddy. I miss you too buddy. I'm a fucking liar. I'm a fucking liar. You're like you're all sharing your feelings right now. And he's crying so much and his mouth is wide open and his tongue is long and you see like magma start to peak up from his throat and the librarian start freaking out. He's melting sousaphone. They're like pushing instruments and shit out of the way. Okay.

I got to, they got to poke me some more. His own reflex. Has made him so sad for some reason. Put away the shiny crunch. No more. No more of the shiny crunch. Oh, these fucking nerds are freaking out now, man. So I gotta go. I'm sorry. I'll talk to you soon. I know. You guys fucking call back whenever you want. Oh, we will, buddy. We'll see you again sometime soon. I promise. Okay. We're crying so loud that Morris is standing in his like nightcap and he's like, what the fuck?

Yeah, he's got a nightcap and a gown and a little candle on a thing. He comes into the living room and we're all bad. Keep it down in here. We're all on the beanbag chair just crying at the ceiling. I swear to God, if you don't keep it down, these little late night sleepovers, over. No more. You can't do that. This is my house and when you live in my house, you follow my rules. You're not my real dad. You're not our real dad. Don't you take that tone with me. You're just our uncle's boyfriend.

And that's what's happening. And he storms out. He storms back to their bedroom and they have a very tense conversation. Do not yell at them like that. It never goes well. They're just so disrespectful. Yeah, but they're adults and they get to make their own. Well, Billy's not an adult. Well, Billy's kind of, it's complicated, okay? And then they just sit next to each other in bed and read kind of angrily for a while. Love and lust and love and lust. Two love and lust and lust unbound.

And Perel keeps spoiling it. Keeps spoiling love unbound or lust unbound for Morris. And the next day, Ving, you would know that you're basically probably like a day and a half from Heartwood. And that is well within the range of where the tree guard would operate. So if you're going to disguise yourselves, now's the time. Ooh, maybe before we leave the tent, we put together outfits. We could ask the page. We could ask the page to make us some outfits maybe. Oh, smart. Yeah, totally.

Yeah, so we see like the page has little tiny glasses on. Yeah. And he's got, yeah, the measuring tape around his neck. Yeah. And he's at a sewing machine just making costumes. Pins in his mouth? Pins, yeah, through the paper where his mouth would be. And then through his arms. Like he's just got pins all over him now. Are we going as merchants or are we going as? He's a merchant. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. Billy knit himself a little merchant shawl.

Uh-huh. Like a merchant. What does his merchant shawl look like? It's like a cloak with a hood, but it's like very, it's also got like a scarf attached to it. So he just looks like very draped. Uh-huh. Draped in woolen knit shit. Nice. Very nice. That's great. What does Ving look like? The only merchant, like the merchants that he could think of were the camels and McCall. The centaurs? The centaurs.

So he's done up like just a man centaur and he's like, oh yeah, I got the, so much, you gotta like a beautiful sugar glider. Sweetest sugar glider in the sky. God, this is hard to keep up. You put like a big fat belly underneath your shirt. Yeah, and I can hide the fanny pack in there. Oh yeah. Cause we do need to disguise you. You are the most wanted of all of us. So I give, so we fill his fake tummy with like my bag and like the fanny pack and stuff. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You see some black back hair and I can tuck my ears into my side of my hair. Right. We are in a nice spot in that the average person because like photographs don't really exist wouldn't immediately recognize you. But anybody that's been distributed your description like guards and shit like that would definitely. Yeah. Okay. Have a higher chance of recognizing you. And people probably have seen Nathaniel. Yeah. And they were like, he's Nathaniel's son. Yeah, totally. Yeah.

But you've got, your ears are under a wig.

So perfect impenetrable disguise nice he takes a bunch of like what were you gonna put a beard we're gonna put a black face on because that's what jessica and I thought yeah that was the joke I was gonna make I held back on we're learning all right I'm just imagining being knowing that like his pale elven dathaniel like skin would give him away and holding in his hand a handful of soot from the fireplace and it's just shaking I know what I have to do I'm really I'm better than this wrong I don't know if I have the strength to do it what if I want to run for office someday I definitely shouldn't wear this on a roller coaster um okay so and tuck uh tuck gets like a fake nose from perell's disguise kit and he puts it on you yeah there we go so you look like a very different person he puts like a scar over one eye not a real one I can put it on with paint there's one way to make sure they don't recognize your face forever fuck it up uh what's tuck's disguise like tuck went the opposite direction when they said merchants and he thought of the fanciest merchant he could think of so he's all in white three-quarter length pea coat ruffly shirt uh like white like big wide pants into like these white boots like riding pants almost into riding boots and he's also wearing a riding helmet wow and he's holding like a white crop uh he's dressed like reese darby's character from this our flag means yeah it's a fancy cravat so there's a lot of like blue in it too yeah you guys uh left me unsupervised with a page for two minutes and came back and I was dressed like this holy shit billy stample's pants are so good I'm gonna wear them I'm gonna wear them all night knitting this stupid shawl he's so fancy and cool you guys look he's like why didn't anyone tell me that could be anything I wanted to be we told you a few times no yeah we tell you that all the time no no billy it's billy it's a very nice shawl honestly I probably look the most mysterious anyway so whatever look at how shawled up you are anyway perel pulls your hood up over your head and wraps your scarf around you and it does almost completely envelop billy's body it's very thick yeah and is it like you grabbed the butter moth silk that we stole so you use that in this yes okay so you have I re-knitted it yeah yeah you got you like used the parts that weren't eaten away by rotten time I thought that when we found it like well this is like the chunk that's left might be billy's yeah yeah you're a little bit disguised every time I put your hood up I'm like oh where's billy where's billy really billy and we're playing a game and then we're like holy shit actually we can't see oh my god where'd he go actually where the fuck is billy guys I'm right here oh you pathetic fools he's here you see the heat from his breath give him away victor I love it in here so many earth don't for me to camouflage your kids uh and you're all disguised up and you head out hop onto your tree gliders morrison perel give you a little salute and a handshake yeah we roll up the fanny pack does victor stay in there too victor stays inside yeah he just said he likes the earth tones yeah I will guard safeguard earth tones in here I will protect two pathetic old men I will plug my ears and let them do whatever they do they have many fights it seems open hand slapping fights it seems like many slapping voices coming from chamber um you're all uh disguised up and you pack up the fanny pack and hop on your tree gliders give a little thank you to the fanny pack and hop on your tree gliders and hop on your tree gliders give a little thank you to the mushrooms that protected you over this dark dark night I tossed the rest of my m&ms and you head off into the trees on your way to heartwood and the camera stays on the fairy ring and at the very edge you see two small withered mushrooms and that's where we'll end it for this week uh I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz so long playing ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers take care playing fat belly the halfling thief jessica tie everyone thank you so much to aaron reed for our intro and outro music if you would like to hear all of aaron's original music you can find him at aaronreed.bandcamp.com and if you want to find the music that aaron has produced for the show written by abdul and myself you can find that at soundcloud.com thank you to all of our patreon supporters around the world for supporting the show we wouldn't be able to do it if it wasn't for your help uh if you want us to support us you can get access to a whole bonus campaign set in the high spear mall art merchandise drops uh games run by abdul and myself and a whole whack of other shit so check that out at patreon.com Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com money please and uh lastly and mostly thank you to all of you for listening we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spout more you

Spout Lore is brought to you by listeners like yourself if you want to check out more stuff or give us a support go to www.pat I'll start over it sounds like a fucking alta vista ad gather round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold a brute a druid and a thief who is but nine years old you know them by name you know them by deed their quests are famously daring so here I sit singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing tuck is the brute he knows not his home he loves to sing and fight fingers half healthy shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might billy's a thief his tiny size does mask the largest heart best and brightest they may not be but their friendship outweighs their smarts so gather round friends and listen close for the tale's about to start hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz have a cock tabular august everybody you did I say coctacular or coctabular yeah reading those reddit comments has somehow made me like I think I've gone the other way yeah I dialed it up yeah well fuck you if you think I'm bad look at me now yeah there's yeah that coctacular comment off the top it was because I read a bunch of reddit comments that said I made too many tech jokes is that why you were scheduling the podcast so you could say the right month when this came out amazing playing ving the hell out of you hey guys I'm 43 now happy birthday thank you and playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie hello I am not 43 yeah even more happy we did do a bigger cheer for jessica not being 43 I think that's great you started a cheer the first one was oh but then you started a cheer so we all cheered you're trying to make me feel better for being older is it working 43 yeah probably a really good age to be also paul you look better than sean and I what did I do yeah yeah you look better than three of us put together remember that guy who yelled in the car I look like right so wait did you tell a duel people are throwing so much shade at us yeah what do you think's going on I don't know we're becoming too powerful I guess so the universe is sending people to try and humble us and it's not gonna fucking work uh okay fuck when last we left our heroes they journeyed through the great forest and the boreal reach upon the backs of their noble and loyal tree glider steeds clarence and the recently named black spire too we're really running on fumes with names but we'll get there eventually that's just tuck yeah just mrs black you know who's really cool is my dog I'm gonna name you dog uh ving a morning dove back to clarence's oh yeah tree glider parents to explain that their son had been taken away I underlined not kidnapped yeah many times maybe too many times yeah suspiciously too many also the vibe between ving and the dove was like kind of like they wanted to fuck kind of I mean kind of explain kind of kind of gale like voice a little bit of a voice yeah well I don't know I guess if you guys aren't doing anything I'm gonna go to a morning dove I guess if you guys aren't doing anything.

Sean, stop acting so aloof. It's driving me bananas. Then we cross the border of the Boreal Reach into an area known as the Drowned Forest, a previously lush and beautiful glade of trees drowned and killed by underground water brought to the surface following the greedy and maddened diggings of the elves that used to live here. We learned a little bit about imps being fairies corrupted in some fashion and animating the bodies of dead animals that they once were bonded to.

Ving remembered an elven ranger camp called Alder Camp that was nearby, and we found ourselves there very shortly after, Billy keeping an eye out for imps in the water and the ice beneath. We arrived at the camp, a collection of wooden sticks. The spheres hung from the trees, camouflaged, carved from burls and such, and did a little bit of exploring in the form of, you guessed it, stealing. You gotta rob a grave. You gotta rob a grave. Is it stealing if they are not coming back? Yeah.

Is it stealing if it belongs in a museum? Yeah, exactly. Is it stealing if, like, we just really want it? So the party attempted to quietly and stealthily make their way across the wooden rope bridges that connected the spheres, finding themselves at a cache of some kind, digging around inside, avoiding the imps that Billy spotted beneath the water, finding in this sphere a small paring knife found by Tuck. Yes. A rolled up bark scroll. With, uh, it's written in code. Yes. Yeah.

It's got indecipherable code upon it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I could pick whatever I want. I know, and I made a mistake in doing that. You're lucky I didn't pick the guns with more guns. We're all lucky, Billy. After some negotiations involving the newly revealed Billy's marble jar method of getting him to do stuff. This is like, this will be the cover of our parenting book. Marble jar. A hundred marbles to a better fairy. Beautiful.

It's a working title. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Tuck was able to convince Billy to trade him the paring knife for the giant glass sword. And five marbles. And five marbles. In the jar. And upon trying to cross the bridge, one of the imps in the middle of the pond was woken momentarily before Billy put it back to sleep with fairy dust, which spread throughout the waters, hopefully subduing anything underneath, but not for very long.

And following their grave robbing, quote unquote, there's no graves here. You're just robbing dead people. Kind of a different thing. The party heard cracking ice and splashing water, turning back to the waters to see dead, rotting animals climbing from the ice. And that is where we find our heroes now. Can I do a move to figure out if these things have any kind of weakness? Yeah. You can Spout Lore about it. I'll spell. Or discern realities. I'll use these dice. Yeah. Polar dice.

Let's see how well this goes. This whole session will be rolled with handmade dice from one of our supporters. Our Spout Lore codex polar. And this is our first time really using them for the show. And they rolled a lot of sixes before the show. Sean's eyes are squinting. We'll see. Suspiciously. Seven plus intelligence. Yeah. Six. Six. Nice. I'll aid. I'll aid. Fuck you, Polar. I got eight. Eight. So that makes that a seven, which means it's something interesting, but not useful.

So it seems like imps, at least by all accounts, don't have like powers outside of the fact that they're animating these corporeal bodies, which you think at least as far as they're concerned is power enough. They have physical bodies with which they can interact with the world. Yeah. But that also means that the only body, that they have are rotting, decaying animal bodies. So if there is a weakness that they have, it's probably that they're extremely fragile. Okay. Yeah.

I feel like they're also trying to get new bodies. I think that they're able to make their bodies like if they find like other parts, like it's dying. Yeah, they can Frankenstein themselves. Maybe like some have like extra limbs or like other weird parts of animals sticking off of them. You see like these dead animals, crawling out of the ice, some like flopping around on the water, like trying to get closer to the ice.

Like you see the Fox head that you saw before come up with like two front paws and then two more paws and pull itself up and it's got. So it's got six legs. Whoa, two in the middle, kind of like smashed into its body very unevenly. And that's sort of what you're looking at. You're looking at like a rat, like a giant jack rabbit, but with like wolf limbs could have like a human hand on this. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's so gross. Yeah, or like a hamster with a dick on the back of it.

Fuck you, reddit people. You got to stop. It's looking pretty bad is what I'm saying. They don't look exactly like the animals that they were animating. Yeah, there's like a reindeer with hands. Yeah, just climbing up. Yeah, just human hands on its paws. Yeah, on its limbs. They're like lurching around trying to use these bodies that should not work. So are they trying to get our body parts? I would imagine it's hard to say what they're doing, but they're definitely trying to get to you.

Okay, which I can only imagine this because they see a pretty good looking bodies. Yeah, but you hear like scuttling scurrying in the trees above you. What? What is that? Sir? Oh, she's the zombies. I thought you were a zombie. Sir, what do we do? Enemies approach. We gotta get out of here. Agreed. Is it necessary for us to stay in this location, sir? No, we've all failed a rolling of magic findings. Yeah, we didn't get anything good. I mean, you only checked one burl.

There could be more stuff and more information here. Do you want me to like keep watch if you don't want to keep digging through stuff? Oh, I would say this is not a keep watching. Keep digging thing. This is like they are trying to climb the trees. Are they successful so far? I mean, that one with hands is all right. I don't want to get near with hands is doing a great job. Is he belaying? He's playing.

There's a deer with hands, human eyes and a human mouth and it's going, hey guys, why don't you just come down here? I just want to talk to you. He's a deer head with a human jaw. Yeah, I just want to talk to you. Yeah, no, they are definitely like trying to get up the trees with varying levels of success. Why don't we wait till they're almost to the top and then go to the other burl and then they'll have to go all the way down. Smart.

We'll buy ourselves a time where we go treasure hunt some more. Yeah, I'm going to ask them to climb all of them almost all the way up. What are you so upset about? Because why wouldn't they just climb onto the walkways? What walkways? Snip, snip. There you go. That's smart. Yeah, I'll use my new glass sword. Yeah. Wow. Well, I wonder who found that tiny knife. Do you like the knife that I gave you? It's fine. Trying to cut the thing with a knife. It's fine. It's really dull.

Okay, so your plan is to just go down the road and then go to the other burl and then go to the other burl. Your plan is to just wait until they get mostly to the top. And then get Black Spire 2 to jump us to the other side. Oh, I see. And then they're like, oh, and then they'll go back down. Come on. I mean, yeah, this is a Black Spire 2 is the one doing this. You don't really have to roll. Yeah. You just wait and then you hop on Black Spire 2 and he leaps across the water. Uh huh.

Expands his little flying squirrel sugar glider. Yeah. And alights on the other side quite gracefully. Tuck flips off all the zombies. Double burn. Which immediately like fall off the tree. Like don't even try to climb down. Just go and then start scurrying across the ice. Do any of them smash on the ice and then reassemble? So, oh yeah, some of them like limbs pop off. New forms. Oh yeah. And they smash into each other. Like an iron giant arm walks over to like a new body and jumps on it. Yeah.

I wonder if some of them fight over limbs. Oh, yeah. I also wonder if they're building like, oh, they're learning. So they're building a taller creature that's better at getting up the trees. Oh, yeah. That's really spooky. I want to discern realities in this new burl. Okay. Nine. Nine. Oh, can I eat? Yeah. Five. Oh shit. I was too scared and I peed myself. Oh Billy. It's fine. I'm not embarrassed. It's okay. We have extra pants for you.

I think Billy is scared because he looks back and he's like, I'm not embarrassed. I'm not embarrassed. I'm not embarrassed. I'm not embarrassed because he looks back at the imps and sees like, yeah, some are like crawling up the bodies of others and like grabbing limbs as they go by grabbing integrating themselves into like a larger ladder animal. It's still pretty lurchy, but it looks like if you give them a little bit more time, they might have a form big enough that they can just get to you.

Yeah. Okay. Well, let's fucking hunt through this quick. What's viable here? What is this room? So it's on the other side. It's on the opposite end. It's basically the one that you landed at. It's what do you call it? A camp leaders quarters. Oh, it's yeah. It's like captain's quarters basically. Yeah. Like you would assume Ving you walk in and you're like, oh yeah. Okay. This is probably where the first Talon was quartered a hammock and an elven style container for personal stuff.

Like basically a footlocker. But if an elf made it, there's a person, an elf's body. Okay. Like it looks like they may be fought in defense of this place and are, they're just like slumped against the wall. And then they're like, oh, I'm not going to be able to get out of here. I'm going to be like, I'm not going to be able to get out of here. I'm going to be like, Oh, Oh, Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Pretty nice.

Can I discern? You can try. You're running out of time. Do it. Discern. I'm doing it really fast. There might be butter moth silk in here. Seven. Seven. So, yeah, one question. Billy is just ripping things apart. What here is useful or valuable to me? Billy, like, takes the paring knife and just starts slicing through the mattress. Also, because I'm like, in case there is a zombie in here, I'll kill it first. So, you do find in the clothes a butter moth silk cloak that is pretty ratty.

Like, it's got, like, eaten holes in it. So, it's still got that sort of camouflage-y quality, but there's a lot of cloak that is not here. I throw it to Ving. I don't know if this will fit you. Thank you. He turns to talk. It's reeks. It's covered in rat piss. I know, but we gotta eat. You don't have to like it. No, we do like it. Don't lie to me. Thank you. No, well, why would we? Because I hear you. Marble. Put a marble in the jar. Thanks. It's really nice of you to give gifts.

Appreciate of up and down. Thank you. That's this disgusting cloak. It's not my fault it's disgusting. No. Sir, enemy's closing. I go to the window. I want to shoot an arrow. I grab the poor man's leg bone. Oh, yeah. Oh, cool. Okay. Volley. Volley, yeah. Ten. On a ten plus, you have a clear shot. You deal your damage. That's not a D6. That's a D10. Oh, yeah. But you did get a six. Yeah. It counts. One. Now you got a one. Shit. So you. Polar, your dice are fucking up. So you grab a leg bone.

You just like pop this dude's bone off. Sorry. Turn around, fire it out the window, and it slams into this like imp and parts of its body like grab onto it and move the bone into its body like reinforcing one of its arms. All right. We let's get the fuck out of here. We're gone. Yeah. You come outside and all the tree gliders are, you know, when a squirrel is like scared and it's kind of hanging upside down in a tree and backing up, they're all doing that.

They're like backing away from the imp, except for Black Spire 2, who's kind of doing it, but closer than everybody else. Yeah, we get on his back. What if we burn this place down? Should we? I don't know. With all the imps? I mean, if you really want to burn this place down, Billy. Billy's got his matches out like, please. Yeah, Billy, you could burn the cursed forest down. Okay, cool. And so he, he rakes a bunch of matches up the wall. Where did he get fucking matches?

I always have them on me. Strike anywheres. Strike anywheres. Yeah, so you're trying to burn what, the burl down? Yeah, the burl that, like, I'm assuming all these zombies are on. Okay. Defy danger wisdom, I guess. Okay. Seven. Seven. So, yeah, you have some matches and you kind of start tossing them around on the rags and shit that are left here. Yeah. And a fire catches pretty quickly.

Also, it's kind of nice that you're setting the fire because it's gonna keep this guy from, like, becoming part of the thing. So it's kind of the kindest thing you can do. So you see the flames grow and build and you see this elven skeleton almost looking at you in, like, relief as the flames consume his earthly form. And as you're, like, turning around, a big, meaty, bony hand, like, slams onto the walkway in front of you. Jeez! Oh my God!

And this grotesque head that's, like, part elk, part fox, part wolf. Three mouths, like, growling at you. Oh my God. Pulls itself over. I am gonna use escape route. Oh, yeah, perfect. Billy's panicked. This is probably the grossest thing he's ever seen in his whole existence. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Yeah. So when you're in too deep and need a way out, name my escape route. And roll plus dexterity. Yes, you will get. I got 13. I'm very scared. Fuck yeah. It's fucking crazy. On a 10 plus I'm gone.

Yeah, totally. Run, Billy, run. Yeah, we're on, we're already on Black Spire 2's back and I'm like, Billy, jump! Jump! Yeah, I don't, Billy doesn't even know how he got up there that high and that fast. Yeah, literally you guys, you reach out and you're like, Billy, jump! And he's behind you. Holy shit. Yeah, Black Spire 2's like, fall back! And leaps into the trees. And you take off. Can I look behind me? The fire builds. The imp has caught fire.

And the flames spread across its horrible body and you hear this like, you know, like an echoing cry. But also at the end, there's the sense of relief as their ashes float up into the night sky. Yeah, and as you soar on through the trees, smoke rises behind you. Man, the Grave Forest is fucked up right now. Oh god. Oh my god, I see why you're wanting to leave. And never return. Yeah. Why did you warn us? I thought I did. I thought I've been doing nothing but warn you for two years.

I thought, like, your dad was like the scariest thing that we'd meet. No, no, no, no, no. He's just scared of me because he's my dad. So you still have quite a lot of the Drowned Forest between here and there. Perilous journey, I guess? Yes. So we need a scout ahead, we need a navigate, and we probably need some food, because you guys haven't eaten. I do have the granolas. Yeah. Except for M&M's. Do you want to be quartermaster then? I'll scout ahead because Billy is scared of looking down.

Yeah. Totally. I'll navigate with the night sky. It is day now, but you can still see the impressions of the stars through the clouds. It's daytime? Yeah. So I'll use the moon. Yes, broken moon. Oh, wait, what? Oh, it's a day moon. Yeah, cool. Okay, so scout ahead, navigate, manage provisions. Yeah. Okay. Yes. Four. Seven. Six. Okay. So I failed. You failed? Mm-hmm. Did you fail? No, I got a seven. Okay. Thanks for the M&M's, Billy. No problem. Those are not M&M's.

Actually, Billy's been busy on the back of Clarence switcherooing, or what was he doing? Is it switcheroo when he makes things tastier? Yeah. That's what he's been doing. He's been pulling out all the walnuts because they suck. Oh, yeah. M&M's. Changing the M&M's. Yeah. That's so funny. So yeah, the party consumes the expected amount of rations, one per person if making camp, one per person per day if making a journey. This journey will probably be like, this is the next day. Okay.

The sun begins to set as you reach the end of the drowned forest. The ground starts to firm up and we are in a new environment. That environment is… Ooh, what about clear cut? Oh, clear cut. Like where there's no trees and it's like a new part. Yeah. Yeah. Like where they, I don't know, drew their industry from. Maybe there's a lot of ironwood here or something. Oh, an ironwood forest is kind of cool. Yeah. Or you also talked about the chune trees too. Oh, I think that would be really nice.

Yeah. Yeah. It would make sense to like so close to water. I feel like they would be really water hungry trees. Yeah. Oh, totally. Yeah. Because they're always wetting their lips to whistle. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. The boundary of the drowned forest is marked by a point in your journey when you start to hear this like haunting ethereal song floating over the wind. Oh, cool. Billy and Tuck haven't probably heard this before, but Ving, it's like immediately recognizable to you as a chune wood.

So beautiful and so scary. Such a sad sound. Yeah, because I mean, it's the sort of thing where the music is beautiful, because it's a natural phenomenon that is like a gift to the world, but it also means the tree is like being consumed in a way. Also, yeah, for sleeping, like hopefully there's no breeze. Right. Right. So loud. Yeah. A windy day. It's just like. So what are you guys making camp on the floor? Are you trying to make camp in the canopy? If we can in the canopy.

Yeah, Billy is wanting the canopy. Okay. He's making little earplugs out of the loose, like the fur that he's plucking out of Clarence's back. His under fur. Yeah, his under fur. Yeah. They're gonna be really soft little earplugs for everyone. Nice. Nice. Thank you. You're welcome. Put a marble in your jar. Nice. That was very thoughtful. So in terms of managed provisions, what are you eating? Just like dry stuff that Billy has? M&M's and is there anything in the trees that's edible?

Like can we eat like some of the bark? There is a forage move actually. Ooh. So this would be, if you wanted to like really look around and find enough food for potentially several people for several days, that would be something you could do. Yeah, let's, I think we don't have much in the way of rations, so. You definitely don't. Yeah. Let's look for some food. Okay. That makes sense for Ving to do it? Yeah, you do it. Alright, I got seven.

Okay, so you gain 1d4 rations plus 1d4 if you have the knowledge and gear needed to trap or hunt. Yeah, you've got knowledge and a bow. One and one is two. Oh god! I mean, it makes sense. You spent time in the Chunewood as a young man and you remember this area of the forest being full of life, but something is off. There's just not as many animals around. The plant life looks malnourished and withered. The Chune beetles would, they made like a nectar, like a honeycomb sort of thing.

It was like not as sweet as a bees. Oh, cool. You used to be able to eat like their food that they farmed, but there's no Chune beetles. Yeah. Oh, you could like push it out of like the Chune holes and then like eat it like a churro. Yeah, you could break off little branches. Yeah. Yeah, nothing like some fresh bug goo. Right out of the hole. Sweet, protein rich. Everything the body needs. That's what your dad told you? Everything the body needs. Doesn't have everything the body needs.

Sometimes you need to jerk off to dad. Just flat out says that. To his dad. To his dad. You're going to jerk off out here. You have to go pretty far so I don't hear you. I have elf's ears. So you have a relatively peaceful night. Black Spire 2 and the other tree gliders keep an eye on things for you. And you're out stalking. You've got this bow. You made a couple arrows. Nothing special, but you know, some regular old arrows.

You see like a pretty, like scrawny deer and you're creeping, trying to remember to stay, you know, downwind, not make too much noise. And you get this like perfect shot and you're just stepping around a little bit as the deer moves and you hear and then you stumble and you look down and there's an arrow through the very tip of your boot. Keeping me here? Just, yeah, somebody fired something and just pinned you in place. I went to certain realities and see if I can pick it up.

If I have a really good roll, can I use my, my elf senses to nail down where they are? Yeah, totally. 2d6 plus wisdom to discern realities. Oh, nice. I got 12. Okay. Are we with him? No, he's gone off to go hunt. You see kind of peering through the brush, like through a bush, a few dozen yards from you through some trees to the point where you're like, God damn, what a great shot. Like she threaded it between trees. Sick. Stuck you in place through the tip of your boot.

Like it didn't, it didn't hurt him? No, just through the, through the leather. Whoa. And uh, you see her like pull a hood up over her face and she just blends into the bush. Um, I want to take the arrow out and shoot it and just instinctively. You can definitely just try and fire back. Plus dexterity? Yes. 10. 10. Yeah, so go ahead and deal your damage. Great. 4. 4.

You fire into the bush that she was hidden in and I was trying to aim like beside here while she's pulling up her hood to try and pull the hood off because I know once she puts the butter silk on it'll, she'll go invisible. Oh, well in that case you fire and you hear like a tearing imperceptibly on the wind and she comes like bursting out of the bush and starts running through the trees. Whoa. I'm gonna take chase. Sick. TD6 plus dexterity. Great. 4 plus is 6. Tuck! Too far away. We can't help.

Oh, wait. Get a plus 1 from discern realities. I do? Whoa. Remember? That's how because that's how discern realities has always worked. Oh, right. Keep forgetting that. When you act on the information from that you get from a discern realities roll, you get a plus 1. Yes! But you did volley. Yeah. So is that where the plus 1 went? Nah, let's use it here. Alright. I mean, I'm comfortable with you guys. I want to know who this woman is. And some questions go unanswered. No.

And also, I want to see Ving's beautiful body go like just like be pushed to its limit as he like runs through the forest the way an elf always should. Yeah. Faster than twilight vampires. Stealthy like Legolas. What else? This is a story that Billy is telling Tuck and Blackspire 2 and everyone else. He's like running through the woods faster than a twilight vampire. Yeah. What? What is a twilight vampire? And I'm like, and quieter than a Legolas. Then you… Ving flies by. Is that Ving?

No one knows. We look over our shoulders for a second. We're like, probably nothing. We just go back. Okay. I'll let this happen if you use one of your questions because you have two more. What here is not what it appears to be? You would guess based on the way that she's like run off. That either you are not familiar with how rangers operate in this part of the forest or she is not actually a ranger. She stole the cloak. Or she's like a defected ranger. But she's, yeah, she's off and running.

You see her, she's fucking hauling ass. I'm not a ranger either. She's still running. Stop. She's still running. Please. She's still running. Come on. She's running. You're doing this while running through the forest, jumping over branches. Just like… I would like to get a bit of an advantage and call for Hank. Okay. Yeah. How? Light as a feather up, running up a tree branch, dancing up there and call for Hank and see if he can swoop me up and so I'm a little bit faster up off the ground.

Yeah, totally. Hank is the tree glider with the mohawk, right? Yeah. Before I went hunting, I put water in his mohawk and now it's frozen and I frosted his tips. There we go. So 2d6 plus dexterity for light as a feather. Great. I got eight. I think that you're able to get up into the trees like you kind of jump up, kick off one branch, swoop around. Yeah. And then you're like running above this woman.

But I think back at the campfire, Billy and Tuck, you're sitting there talking to the tree gliders and Hank like perks his ears up. He goes, I gotta go. And he starts running, but you're quite far away. So Hank is going to take some time to get there. That's the what goes wrong. Okay. Yeah. I don't want to give up on chasing this person. Yeah. She's just running below you, but she's starting to like weave a lot more. Her hands are like knife edged as she's running.

You see her ears twitch with your extra elf perception. She looks back, sees you in the branches and kind of drops to her side and uses her hand to give herself more leverage and whips around taking a sharp right like into the underbrush. Fucking sick. That's so cool. And now she's kind of harder to see. I'm going to use elemental mastery and then melt all the snow and then freeze it again. Oh, cool. Very cool. Okay. I got 13. Holy shit.

I will choose the effect I desire comes to pass and I retain control. Okay. So you pay nature's price. I pay nature's price. So your goal is to like stop her in her tracks basically. Yeah. Basically. And like to trip her up so that, you know, if she doesn't get caught frozen in the ice, it should be all of a sudden super slippery. Yeah, totally. So do you come down to the floor when you do this?

I jumped and I melted it and then I tried to refreeze it just up the bottom to kind of like Tarzan slide into it being ice. Cool. Sick. Yeah. So deal your own damage, D6. Five. And yeah, as you're like refreezing it, you feel that like harsh cutting arctic wind like rip over your body and you take that five damage. Damn it. As you are just caught in the absolute worst glacial gale for a second and you hit the ground and she like, she, she lifts one her right foot and the ice melts.

And then as she's lowering her right foot, it freezes again. Whoa. And she gets caught right on that foot. And as you're sliding down behind her, she turns and she, her hand goes to her waist and she whips it out. And like you see for a second, what looks like a seed pod shoot through the air, hit you in the chest. I fight with honor. Okay. Oh, I got 12. Fuck. Yes. So you get however much she. Three block of blow meant for you or someone else. You take half damage. Oh, I see. Okay.

I can also use grab an item within the reach. Can I grab the pod as it's coming at me? Yeah, you can grab it. That's sick. So she throws it at me. I grab the pod out of the air and now it's yours. It explodes in your hand. He's looking at it like, cool. No, it explodes in your hand. As he slowly slides to a stop and then boom. It just it what maybe bursts is the right is a better word to use and it bursts coating your arm and the right side of your chest in a sticky rapidly hardening sap. No.

Oh my gosh, but it's just like you caught it in the right way that it's like right here. You maybe get a little bit on your face, but like mostly you're just your right arm is kind of unusable right now and she starts like punching at the ice. That's sticking her to the ground. I want to roll in front of her and like show that I could do something. I come sliding. I'm sitting around her with my bow trained on her and like and then take the bow put it down. Sure. My palms.

Yeah I roll 2d6 plus charisma because it's going to be kind of hard to pull this off with one of your arms completely immobilized. Oh yeah, but maybe if you did it cool enough like this I was almost imagining you like putting an arrow in your teeth and like pulling it back. That's really cool sick. I love that. That's so cool. Totally knocks an arrow with his teeth. Yeah, and his left hand comes sliding around and then like shoots in the ground right by her foot.

Oh cool letting like releasing her. Yeah, smashes the ice. Great 11 11. I'd help her up. She gets up and backs away from you. She's wearing like layered furs with like leather armor underneath that we're dressed the same. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, you don't have to tell me who you are. I just wanted you to know that I'm not here to hurt you. You're not trying to hurt me, huh? No funny way of showing it. I was trying to defend myself. You shot an arrow into my foot. Nice shot.

By the way, I like your dressings. I like yours size 10. You know it. Is that a point of pride? Are they talking about shoe size? Elves love being the same as all of the other elves. Oh man size 10 is like the average elf foot size of your size 10. Everyone's like fuck. Yeah, bro. That's sick. Clothing swaps are a big deal. So she's just standing there like she's still kind of crouched low. You're out here alone. No, my friends are here. They also would not hurt you. What's your name?

She takes a second where it looks like she's going to try and come up with a fake name. Do you want me to come up with your name or you want to tell me the truth? She spits on the ground. It's Niana. Niana. Ving. She holds her hand out. She looks down at his sap covered arm. It's all twisted and stuck to his chest. That'll flake off in a couple hours. A couple hours? Yeah, well. He just If you ever feel like shitting again, don't do that. I do feel like shitting again. So you got a fire?

We got a fire. We got some food. Not much, but whatever's there, you're welcome to it. Alright, fine. And she like reaches down and picks up a knife that she buried under the snow next to her and puts it on her belt. Put her there. Ving puts the hand that's stuck to his chest. She shakes it very awkwardly and pushes you. Lead the way. Slide. Yeah, slides on the ice. And then Hank comes crashing through the trees. Oh, hierarchy! Slams into the snow. Just like a big squirrel square.

Like a, like a angel. Actually, I bet, no, so he totally does. And he's like, he butts himself in between you and Niana. Hank, stand down. Yeah? Yeah. Friend. Friend. Oh, I ran all the way here, though. I was really hoping to fuck somebody up. Ha ha ha. Thank you so much for coming. Who's this? This is Niana. Niana. Hank. She nods. Oh, here. He puts the chamberlain ring on Niana for a moment. Interesting. You give her the ring right off the bat. I trust her. And Hank goes, what's up? I'm Hank.

I'm kind of like the boss around here. And I like to party. Yeah. I'm kind of like, I deal with like I deal with like security. I'm like the boss. I'm like the boss. I'm like the boss. Security around here. And shakes his head very slightly. And she looks at the ring on her hand. How about we go back to your fire? She hops on Hank and waits for you to get on the front. I'd like to discern realities and see I don't like how excited she is about this fire. Yeah. Seven plus wisdom. Nine. Nine.

So one question. Who's really in control here? Ah, what? Nothing. What's thought of something? Oh, why? Well, I think if she's looking for a fire, I think she's wanting to send smoke signals. I don't know. That's an interesting theory. Don't put any cool ideas in Sean's head. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. No, that's really good. Ignore. No, it's an interesting theory. No. So yeah, nine. If you use it, I'm suing you. Yeah, please feel free to sue me and take all of your money from me.

Uh, so what are some things we know about your current situation in the events of the last couple days? There's a bounty and we're on the run. We broke out of elf prison. Yeah, because the we were prisoners of the high court, which was the big daddy court of all elf society. Yeah. And then we were very disrespectful to them. We broke and then they when they sent people to kill us, we had already broken out of jail and then uh, also released. A bunch of their military assets and left. Yeah.

Also beat up a stable. Yeah, it was the nicest person and made one of their young princes eat bugs. Right. Also, uh, tuck did the fruit bowl thing. I did a fruit bowl. I moved everyone in court. Yeah, everybody got the billy goat. Oh, is that what it's called? I call it the fruit bowl. I've heard fruit bowl. I've heard billy goat. Yeah. Yeah. So that is a very accurate and thoughtful and thorough recap. Cap of what your situation is right now. I know who's in control here.

Probably whoever is paying the bounty that is on your heads. So she's a bounty hunter. The question is who's really in control here, not what is her deal. Okay. Well, I'm glad I gave her the ring regardless. It's a sign of trust that I don't regret because it does shows my stupidity and trustworthiness. I know. Yeah. People tend to trust us because we are unflinchingly trustworthy of other people sometimes. Yes. Yep. So you head back to the fire. Billy is still telling a story.

Just leap into it. This is the end of the story. And then he then he waved his wand and he said and then the spell rebounded and shot him in the heart. And Clarence is like no. Yeah, because that was the prophecy all along. Oh, the prophecy. Oh, and he starts patting his little paws together. Don't make a clapping sound. You just hear thuds. And Hank, the tree glider lands in a tree next to you like above the fire with Ving and some sort of random woman on the back.

Oh, I pull out my knife and the taxi's Ving with a random woman and he goes classic. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. He gives Tuck the fighting sign like that. We might be. We might be getting in a fight soon. So, yeah, Tuck when he sees that he just like takes Billy and he shoves him behind him. Comes up between his legs with a knife. I've got my knife. Yeah, and I'm sharpening it on a little twig. Sharpening the twig. The twig is sharpening the knife. He can do that.

It's an ironwood twig. So, this is your camp. Yeah, where's your camp? Oh, you know, out that way. And then Tuck comes up and he's like, hey, what's up? My name is Tuck. I kind of do security around here and I like to party. What about you? I don't talk to strangers so that means I don't have to talk to you. Fair enough. It's a good instinct to have for a little boy. And she sits down at the fire, starts warming her hands. Why'd you shoot me in the foot? I didn't know who you were.

I wasn't sure if you posed a threat. I don't believe you. Alright. What are you doing so deep in the forest? Hunting. What are you doing? Running from the law. Is that so? Wow. What? I can read your forehead wrinkles like a book. She tries to flatten them out by furrowing her brow. She's wearing Chamberlain's ring. That means we can, we can hear what she's thinking. Oh yeah. Smart. Fuck. We're so fucking smart. 2d6 plus charisma. Can I perform lightning in a bottle on her without her knowing?

Because of the Chamberlain ring? You can definitely pull memories through the ring. Yeah. That's a very interesting idea. Yeah, go ahead. Thanks guys. So sick. Ving also made the symbol of that she's wearing the ring when he came up to the party behind her back by putting, making a circle with one hand and then putting a ring. Putting a ring into that other circle. Yeah. Yeah. And the message is delivered loud and clear. And that's why Tuck went classic Ving. All right.

2d6 plus dexterity for lightning in a bottle? Yeah. 12. Yes. Holy shit. Wow. So what form does this memory take? Or this thought, I suppose. Billy's sitting kind of near the lady, but with his back to her and he's looking at Tuck's face and it's going through Billy's eyes. Oh, so you're reflecting it to me. Yeah. Cool. Because it's through Billy's eyes. This is very much a like one camera sitcom sort of vibe. Oh yeah.

Where she like it's, it's Niana standing and she's got her thumbs up and you guys are all in a net next to her. Oh shit. And she like drags you into an office and plops you in front of a very cartoonishly stupid looking Elf Noble. Who's got like big stupid hair and like a very fancy robe. But like you saw some Elf Nobles. This is like a cartoon caricature of a noble. Who's like, can we say that the style is as if like Billy had cut out like picture it like done the drawings himself. Oh yeah.

Did like the puppet show with it. Totally. Like an Angela Anaconda, like real pictures made into paper dolls. Yeah, totally. Great. And she walks up and she drops the net full of you guys in front of this Elf Noble. Who goes, oh, and claps and gives her a bunch of money. And then she is in a big beautiful tree mansion sitting on a pile of Elf money. I would like to shoot first. Okay. That's okay. Absolutely. That's okay. So, or, or, yes. Yeah. Shoot first just means that you are never surprised.

I use backstab. I attack a surprised or defenseless enemy with a melee weapon. Okay. Yeah. Go for it. 2d6 plus dexterity. Backstab. Oh, seven. Okay. So seven is still good. You get, yeah, I get to choose one. I would like to create an advantage, a plus one forward to an ally. Cool. And I will take that plus one forward because Billy gave me like advanced warning.

So like already when Billy was like starting to like do the backstab, Tuck is like getting up to like deck her in the face pretty much. So I'm just going to quickly roll fight with honor before all this pops up. Yeah. Great. I had failed it. Yeah. He failed so bad. Yeah. Three. So what I do is I, I just like spin around like I'm just sitting. I spin around and then I put her in a little choke hold with a knife against her throat. She freezes.

And as soon as, yeah, as soon as like I see Billy start to move, tuck gets up and like punches her in the face. All right. Hack and slash with a plus one. Oh my God. Nine and then 12 because I have plus three. Yeah. Great. Holy mackerel. So what is this? You're just slugging her. Yeah. Just punching her really hard. Yeah. And you in the face. Yeah.

Your fist comes like arcing down and you could just clock her on the side of the head so hard that Billy's like left hanging in space where her body is sent tumbling to the side. Deal your damage. Not. Nine. Nice. Yeah. Cause that negates whatever she did afterwards. Yeah. It just knocks her out. Yeah. Nine is a tremendous amount of damage.

She just gets fucking slammed into like the tree trunk that you're kind of camping at the base of and she does kick the fire and it's mostly being the main failure of this is that you start standing up very imperiously. Ving sticks his hand into the fire that's in front of them and comes out on her. And he says, I want you to listen to me very carefully. Ving failed his fight with honor. Don't think I forgot that. But this is just a move. So what happens on it?

What happens on a failure with fight with honor? I hold one chi, but your enemy already has a drop on you. Oh, okay. Billy's got her in his little quote unquote choke hold. He's kind of like backpacking her and has the knife on her neck. Tuck is moving at the same time and clocks her in the face. She gets sent tumbling to the side closer to you. You get rid of her. You get ready to do your fight with honor. You're reaching towards the fire.

She kicks into the ashes and the cinders just burst in your face. So you're completely blind for a second. I'm not blinded blinded, but your vision is obscured by these embers. Oh, okay. Yeah, like I want you to listen back. It's all of this moment. Yeah, exactly. Catches my neck hair on fire. You gotta like my yourself. I'm mad. You were going to do something really cool. And then the puff of smoke freaks you out. Oh, it's like, oh, yeah. Don't.

But she is like, oh, she's like, not completely unconscious, but fully fucked up. I lean over and I pull the ring off her finger and put it back on my finger. Should we tie her up? Oh, yeah. And she is just sitting at your fire, tied up. Big old bruise on the side of her head. Well, well done. Here, hand her a piece of snow against a leaf. Put that on your face. Keep the swelling down. She kind of like has to lean down because her arms are tied up.

Billy just helps her and plops it right there on her face. Thank you. What's our bounty up to now? Your bounty is 6,000 coins. More than enough for me to get out of this forest. And make a new life for myself. And what's the bounty on us? Tuck says and he gestures to himself and Billy. Probably a lot, too. Probably 6,000 each, too, right? No, 6,000 for all of you. Oh, okay. That's not bad. That's not bad. They add an extra thousand for us. That's pretty cool. Pretty good. That's a lot of money.

I wonder what we could buy with it. Nothing unless you find a way to turn yourselves in. Right. Right. We do have that power, which is a nice feeling. Yeah, we do it a lot. So. So, what happens now? I mean, we could kill you. Leave you. Oh, I almost rather you kill me, if I'm being honest. Wait, you would rather us kill you than leave you here tied up? Have you been to the Great Forest before? Me? No. Well, then you might not be familiar with the various dangers that exist in here.

Defenseless like me? Poor little old woman tied up on a rock? You're hardly defenseless and you know it. I would. I'd be dead before dawn. So, I think we're all in agreement then. You set me free and we all go about our way. I don't think so. I guess you kill me. I don't know. What? I can make a little pinky promise with her. Oh, smart. Cool. Are you, like, can I ask her something? Yeah. Are you traveling alone? Yes. Are you lying? No. I can't. I, it's. I don't get the idea.

I'm not a very personable elf and I don't work well with others. So, I'm out here by my lonesome. Really too bad because I bet we could have been great friends. Mm-hmm. If you weren't so mean. Yeah, I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just trying to do my job. You know, nowadays, you need coin. What do you mean that you need money now and you didn't need it before? Back in the day, nobility sought to support the common man. Common man.

The forest provided and the elves provided for those that needed it. And, you know, over time, something changed and now, can't people just scrape him by? What if we told you that that's what we're trying to fix? Like, that's what we're on our way to go do. That's great. It would go back to the way it was. Would you leave us alone? No. I mean, yes. No, I think I would. Yeah? Yeah. What if, like, you promised not to tell anyone you found the coin? Yeah. Yeah.

You promised not to tell anyone you found us. Sure. And do not follow us. Absolutely not. So you promised you would not follow us. No. By sticking stone by the leaves in the trees, may I be buried in the earth and my body used for worm food. You pinky promise? Sure, I pinky promise. Why not? And she, like, wiggles forward and kind of sticks her finger out. By your words, if you were to break them, you will lay in the dirt and you will turn into food for the bugs. I spend a fairy child.

Oh, you spend a fairy child. Okay. And she makes this promise to you, pinky swears, and you say, if you break your promise, you will be food for the worms. And she goes, okay. I mean it. He means it. Oh, all right. Listen to him. What do you mean? I'm cutting her ropes. I'm like, I'm a fairy, so. Nah, come on. Come on. It's up to you, but we're telling you not to. Okay. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go.

I'm going to go. Okay. And she gets up and she brushes her legs off, picks up her stuff. You're all very strange people. Well, and she like walks off into the forest and disappears. Cloak, gone. Yeah. Into the trees. And you're left alone in this snowy, chune wood. Oh, I guess you guys haven't eaten yet. You haven't done your- I was going to say, we didn't do our campy thing, did we? Right. Right. Because I took a lot of damage back there, mostly the emotional damage from- Right.

It was seven damage. Jesus Christ. What did he say to cause all that damage? He woke up and he saw Tuck, the violence in Tuck's face and he went, it's okay. Oh, right. Like whatever you need to do right now, you can do it. So sad. Some goodwill hunting stuff. Yeah, exactly. It's not your fault, man. It's okay. It's not your fault. He wakes himself up farting and then tells you it's not your fault. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right.

Okay it's not your fault he wakes himself up farting and then tells you it's not your fault the camera is suddenly shaking in place yeah um so you pack up you hop on the tree gliders and carry on through the tunewood the rest of the day is soundtracked by ethereal music of the forest your spirits feel tired fatigued listening to this song that takes on a sort of mournful quality maybe it's the corruption in the forest maybe it's the it's the nature of things but maybe it's the fact that tuck keeps trying to improvise songs to it yeah that could be it what does that sound like have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue but now he's just doing rap rock thing is doing blasts of air to the right and the left so it goes through the tune trees all the tree glider are like have all my um homemade earbuds stuffed in their ears yeah so they're having a grand old time listening to the sound of their own blood pumping in their skulls this is actually awesome I love this metal as fuck and you come to a place that feels safe to rest for the night what is this location I had an idea yeah it's uh like as we kind of like are gliding over it there is like a clearing in the middle of the night and then you come to a place where there's like a clearing in the woods with like a massive fairy circle in it oh pretty that's why it feels safe because like it feels like there would be like fairy protections on this place at least so if there's a fairy circle here which are we what are we imagining like mushrooms in a circle yeah mushrooms creating a big wide circle in a clearing in the trees can I do a little fairy like protection offering yeah totally what does that look like they love sunlight and we're here to protect the trees here at night so billy offers the light of his below the wisp very nice oh cool creating like little beams of sunlight to feed the mushrooms just like dancing along the top of the glow will dance along the tops of the mushrooms yeah and like one by one like as the light alights on a mushroom it picks itself up out of the earth and reveals you know little arms and legs and the fairy mushrooms begin dancing cavorting in a circle following the light of the light of the sunlight and like singing and dancing with one another is this something that ving and I can see or is it just billy I think it's just billy yeah so yeah just billy it looks like billy is dancing with mushrooms in a circle and as you better not put those in his goddamn mouth as we're trying to set up oh maybe we're trying to set up the fanny pack yeah oh yeah I was gonna ask if you guys had the fanny pack with you yeah so we're setting up the tent like it's very much like we're setting up a tent and we asked billy to help us and he just went off and played and we're like you're not getting a marble if you don't help and he doesn't he doesn't listen you guys yeah just so do you guys go into the fanny pack uh we start a fire we start a fire outside but we do set it up yeah great so yeah there's a little fire crackling I like that the fairy ring means it's safe we can hang out here for a bit then go to bed yeah maybe victor oh yeah oh victor's been following us yeah he's been tracking us through the forest right yeah so and yeah melting out of the dark stepping lightly pausing for a moment at the edge of the fairy circle sniffing like nosing the air above it and then gently stepping through cool so you have made camp your feeble mortal bodies require rest hmm yeah do you want to rest with us just uh pass the time I don't know I suppose I could be convinced to go and rest with you guys inside the bag inside the bag inside the bag where all of the treats and bed I have made it has been quite a lot over the last few days running those gross monster things you thought were pretty scary for you not for me not for me I love gross stuff like that I eat gross stuff for breakfast They were frightening in their countenance and revolting in their flavor.

Victor, I made your bed for you. Oh. I even got Perel to warm up the blanket. Oh. Well, I suppose because you find it necessary to prostrate yourself before me, I should then to accept. Okay, yeah, I love that. And he bowls past you. I'll tuck you in. Walking into the tent. And yeah, you go in and Perel and Morris are in the sitting room. They're like, oh, hey, what's going on? Where are we? We are deep in the woods. We're safe in a fairy ring. Oh, fairy ring. I'm unfamiliar.

Are these a real thing or is this a superstitious? No, it's real. Yeah, it's a thing that Billy does to keep areas safe. I made my offering and they accepted it. Come take a look if you want. Morris, when you say you can step outside and look. He goes, I trust you. And goes back to the big book that he's reading. Billy's kind of offended because he worked really hard on his fairy ring. He's like, fine. He slams the flap shut. Perel goes, Billy, I'll come look at your fairy ring.

And he like bats Morris on the shoulder. Thank you, Perel. Yeah. And he pokes out and he immediately like hunches down a little bit because he sees the forest. And I go up to the little mushrooms and like, see, like they're working so hard for us. Very nice, Billy. He's looking at all the mushrooms. Wow. And then as he's looking at them, you hear from the forest, just a strange creature. And Morris just looks up. I do when he pokes his head out. That's great. I say, don't worry.

It won't find us. Perel just looks up and goes, ah, it's really nice, Billy. I'm going to go back inside. And then as he's like shuffling in, you see like a massive creature with like a 22 foot wingspan spread its wings out, blotting out a huge portion of the sky. And then. The takeoff. Bat like arms. Wow. He just hustles back into the tent. Oh boy. Gone through the flap. And then unless there's anything else we want to do in the tent right now, it's time to use the make camp move.

I made sure all the pile of tree gliders are comfy in my fairy circle. Nice. Yeah. They definitely don't go in the tent. Like if you wanted them to go in the tent, you would have to like force them in. Okay. No, no. Well, I just let them know. Sir. We will take up a perimeter outside of your perimeter. Okay. Well, if you want to go in the perimeter, you're more than welcome to. Sir. Yes, sir. Unnecessary, sir. Thank you, sir. You're welcome, sir. Or whatever.

There's some like bulbs, tubers in the ground in this ring. There's some grass as you can see. Thing digs it up. Hey, Colonel. Yes, sir. And just throws like a big handful of like delicious sugary tubers up in the air. And Black Spire 2 goes, chow time. And they all jump out and grab some tubers. And they just land back in the trees. So you're able to settle into rest using the make camp move. And you choose one of your party members to manage provisions. I can make dinner. Do you guys? Yeah.

After the last time you made dinner. What? Is this something that thing in Tucker? Yeah. Last time Tucker made dinner, he spent like a weirdly long amount of time doing it. And he's like, it will be worth it. Do not worry. And then he comes back. And it's just a bowl. And it's just a bowl. And it's just a bowl. And it's just a bowl. And it's just a bowl. And it's just a bowl of melted cheese. Like just huge. Only melted cheese. Huge bowl. Just melted cheese. Is there anything to dip in it? Or?

Yeah. And he hands you a spoon. Oh, I see. It's just melted cheese. All right. When you prepare and distribute food for the party, roll plus wisdom. Okay. Eight. Eight. Okay. Party consumes the expected amount. One per person per day. Is this stuff for the party? Is this stuff that you were making outside? Is it like you're asking the page like Star Trek style to just be like one pot roast? And he like makes a pot roast one side potatoes and just reveals a side of potatoes? Yeah.

So that's what happened is like Chuck was like, I will take care of everything. I'll make it myself. And then immediately he grabbed the page. Yeah. Just like pull him in a hallway and like, like bring this. Yeah. Come on, dude. I was like, all right, here's what I need from you to make. Okay. Oh, it doesn't talk. Okay. Okay. Shh. Shh. Don't fucking shush me. It's like, all right, give me one pot roast. And he like lifts his little tray thing and there's a pot roast underneath. All right.

Wicked. And then he's like, I like the idea that can take a little bit of it and smear it on his apron. Oh yeah. Totally. He does it. He smears it on his apron and then he puts it on, on a tray and on a cart. And then he's like, all right, give me one apple cinnamon pie. Lifts it up. Apple pie. All right. Cool. And he smears some of it. And then he puts some of the pie on his face. He like almost puts it in the cart. And then he's like, I won't look like I didn't make it.

And then he puts his face in the pot. He puts it down. It's just like. Like those little pins that you put your face in. Uh huh. Uh, and then he's like, uh, give me a whole, a huge giant pile of mashed potatoes. And a huge pile of mashed potatoes. And then he puts a bunch of that on his head. It makes like. A powdered wig. A Bob Ross wig out of it. And then he like puts it down. He's like. And then he leans back. He's like, oh boy. It is heating up in here.

I wouldn't come into the kitchen if I were you. Cause you can't handle the heat. So point of fact, you have not found the kitchen yet. I'm just in a, I'm in a hallway. Yeah. You're in a place that is definitely not the kitchen trying to convince them. It's the kitchen. And then he takes like the glass sword and he like slams it against a railing. And then he like slams it against a railing. And then he like slams it against a railing.

He's like, I'm gonna go ahead and do it a few times to make it sound like pots and pans. Does he really? Yeah. The blade shatters. Fuck. That's your seven to nine. It's a glass sword. Are you fucking kidding me? Billy, I want my knife back. But now you have a handle, a pretty heavy handle with like one of those bell guards over the fist and some broken glass on the end of it. And everybody hears everything shatter. And they all come running in.

And then Tuck runs out and he's like, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry. Just a bunch of plates fell over. Stupid page. What happened? What happened? And I put, I, who's this? This is Porus. This is Porus. Guess which one I mean. It's Perel. Okay. Yeah. This is a cute pet name that Perel's come up with. Perel. Or Morel. Yeah. And so, yeah, when Perel's like, what happened? Tuck just shoves him to the ground. Oh my God. Go away. I'm doing stuff. Okay. Fuck. Does Morel come up and punch Tuck? Yeah.

Oh, maybe. I think the second you push Perel, Morris is right in your face. You find yourself sliding backwards across the floor. What did you just do? You apologize right now. And he yells in Morris's face. Sorry. You spin where you're standing and just get pushed back to where the food is. Okay. Tuck is now sweating so much because he's so stressed out. Yeah. And the page, I guess, cleaned up. The shattered sword. It did. And it cleaned it up really fast. Yeah.

To be fair, having like a brass knuckles with a bunch of broken glass on it is pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. This thing totally doesn't just suck now. And he tosses it to the ground. Saying like, it's my fault. I didn't even touch it. I can't believe I paid five fucking marbles for this thing. That was the most I've ever heard you sound like a teenage girl. I can't believe you're acting like it's my fault. You didn't even fucking touch it. When Billy hits his teens, God, he's going to be in trouble.

He's going to be insufferable. Oh, yeah. It's going to be really tough. We can barely control him now. I know. Control. Manipulate. Mitigate. Yeah. We keep having to buy marbles. Yes. And bigger jars. He keeps stealing the marbles. He's trying to put them in when we're not looking. But it's like pie, pie, turkey, giant turkey, roast. Mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes. Multiple different kinds of gravy. A pheasant. And then he shoves that pheasant in the turkey.

And then he tries to push the turkey into the roast. So he shreds the roast. And then he stamps two giant skewers into the turkey. And then he puts smaller and smaller birds on top of it. Fun. This is insane. What are those little tiny birds? Game hen. Cornish game hen. Yeah. Cornish game hen. It's like a turkey with two skewers in it with a chicken on top of it. And then with like a pheasant and then a Cornish game hen. And then two sparrows. Roasted sparrows. Wow. Yeah. He got so stressed out.

So he just started asking the page for so much stuff. For more birds. Yeah. I bet the page is starting to look a little crispy on some of the ends of his sheet. Oh, totally. Because Morris has suggested that this is like, you know, like a turkey. A spell with not unlimited use. Like it can be stressed beyond use. So there, I think even as you're asking for more and more birds, they start looking weirder as you get more and more of them. But it is a million birds. You've made a million birds.

And then last four things are four bowls full of melted cheese. Oh, yeah. He puts that on the cart. Yeah. Starts wheeling it in. Uh-huh. And then he's like, oh boy, you guys are not. Fast asleep. Yeah. Except for Billy and Victor. I've put little bibs on us, which is just pearls like really nice silk scarves. And Victor is kind of sitting there with like his head pulled back. Now that Billy's put the bib on him, like to keep your coat clean.

But he's restricting my neck, which I need to fucking slam all these food. Yeah. But if you want to be like a gentleman and you have to eat with a little bib, I am the most gentleman of all. I know. I know. Because you're wearing a bib like me. Yes. Billy, thanks for wearing your bib. Marble. Nice. What is this? What is marble? When I get enough marbles, I get to go to Husky Diner and I get to eat all you can eat breakfast. The marble depicts your value and superiority on the material scale.

Yeah. So when I get, when the marbles touch the top of the lid, I get breakfast. I wish to have marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. Marbles. I would like this very much. Okay. I asked for a second jar from Ving.

There you go. Thank you. I will get even more marbles than you. We'll see about that. You have to earn your marbles. I hand you a sack of marbles. What can I do to gain marbles? Sit. Okay. Sit. I sit. One marble. Oh my God. Shake paw. Shake paw. For marble? Yeah. For marble. Okay. Nice. Good boy. Shakes a paw. Throw another marble in. Dear Lord. Victor, roll over. Okay. He rolls. Whoa. And because he's fucking huge, it's like, like he crushes the side table as he rolls over.

Another marble for that. Oh my geez. It's always been so easy to show people how powerful I am. Yeah. Yes. I will. This is what it's like to be around people. Give me more marble. Well, you have to do more tricks. Uh, uh, speak. Hello. Oh, good job. Disappear. I am always disappeared. No, you say disappear and he puts his paws over his nose. Wow. I, uh, yeah, the marble jar is getting pretty full. And Tuck comes in with the cart full of shit.

And he immediately, you see, I guess basically just his nose like move up towards the cart. And, uh, because it was a seven to nine. The party consumes the expected amount of rations. So there's way too much leftover. There's so much leftover. Everybody eats like a decent amount. Yeah. Or Billy and Victor probably eat a lot more. Yeah. Cause it's expected of us. But everyone's like, oh. Ving actually had like, he likes the melted cheese. Thanks, man. I worked really hard on it.

Tacoma, I have to say in terms of, uh, manipulation of the pages, food conjuration spells. Uh, this is. This is a lot of expertise. Thanks, man. And I have to say, I've never seen so many dead birds in one place. And now, and he claps his belly off to bed for me and for you. And he like grabs Pharrell by the front of his shirt and picks him up and they walk off. Cute. Pretty cute. And now is the time to set a watch. Wait, can we look our lips? Oh yeah. You got a seven to nine, not a 10 plus.

Oh shit. Oh fuck. Yeah. I already licked them. I already licked them. You licked them for nothing. Fuck. Yeah. You wasted all that spit on your dry lips. God dammit. In 2045, when the water wars have begun, you're going to miss that saliva. I know. I'm going to think about it. Yeah. I'm going to. Well hunt you down. I'm going to be thinking about Paul's wet lips. Man, they were glassy. Oh, I could, if I only, if I could lick some of them. I could be president based on the water on his lips.

He had the wettest lips on the Southern Island. I tell you. I could be president based on the water on his lips. I could be president based on the water on his lips. He had the wettest lips on the Southern Island. I tell you what. And that man's name was Paul Oppers. That man's name was prime minister Paul Oppers. RIP. LIP. Killed in the, LIP. That was great. Okay. So make camp. The second part, if you're bedding down in a dangerous land, which you are, decide to ride on a watch order.

Then the GM chooses one person on watch during the night to roll plus nothing. What I think is more interesting is who would like to roll plus nothing. I'll roll plus nothing. Very well. Makes sense. Cause you know the forest, you know how to keep watch out here. Yup. So 26 plus Jack shit. Four. Fuck. Shit. It's interesting because you're still in the tent and you're in a fairy circle. What I was going to say is that Ving wanted to commute with the Whisperer. So. Oh yeah.

But, but I was going to say maybe that's his, maybe he's like, yeah, I'll watch. I'll watch. But then you're like, you know how you would like nod off, but his thing, he like nods into a commune. Oh, he can't help it. It went in this part of the land. So that could be the failure. Right. That's really interesting. The white noise of the whispers is lulling you into a communion. You're sitting there at the fire that you've built outside the tent.

It's very funny that like, considering you just came from like a fucking excessive feast in basically a mansion, you're now sitting outside a tent at a campfire. I think the clouds have moved away and the night is bright and full. The light filters down through this gap in the trees, illuminating the fairy circle you find yourself in. The will of the wisp is still. Yeah, totally creating this like circular light. And as the light circles you, it's casting like shadows on the trees around you.

And you begin to like fall into, if not a full meditation, meditative meditation. Yeah. It's a sort of like state as you settle into the feelings of this place that you're in. And the shadows dance and weave in the brush. And as the light goes right in front of your eyes, you like blink, you open them and there's a man standing on the other side of the circle. Whoa. He looks like a older man, pale, traveling clothes, a wide brimmed hat. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Holy shit. So you figured it out. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. Holy fuck. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz. That's sick. Playing Vang the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Who was that? And playing Fat Billy, the Half-League Thief, Jessica Tai. Was it the Gibbous Man? Thank you so much to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro. Holy shit. You have to answer us right now.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. You can find all of Aaron's original music at aaronreed.bandcamp.com and all of the music that he's produced for the show at soundcloud.com, including songs written by Abdul and myself. And you can also join me in thanking all of our Patreons, the supporters around the world without whom the show would not be possible.

If you would like to support the show and get access to a bonus campaign set in the High Spear Mall, art, music, sometimes merch. You can also join us on Patreon.com slash speltlord or speltlord.com slash money, please. Thank you finally. And most of all to you for listening. We'll see you next time. And to anyone out there who's been trash talking me on Reddit, I swear to God, here's what I'm going to do. No, no. Just anyone on Reddit. I'm going to come to your house.

I'm going to fucking slit your throats. Yeah. That's for satire only. I'm just going to cut your fucking throats and murder your family for satire. This is just satire. This is satire. Legally, I'm just kidding, but my fist is going to meet your face. Yeah. On Sean's dad's lawn. And my face is going to meet your fist. Yeah. Want to get your fist swallowed, dude? Come find me. It's going to be a fucked up fight for you. You want to be my friend? Or my friend? Or my foe? Vote five stars.

Vote five stars. I don't know how to do this. You want to be my friend or my foe? Dial five five friend, foe foe, friend foe. Yeah. Do you want to be my… Yeah, what you said was… Do you want to be my friend? Do you want to be my friend? No, what you said was, do you want to be my friend or my foe? Vote five stars. So either option. Hey, man. There's no… There's no such thing as bad press. Do you want to vote? I mean, it's up to you, really, what you want.

Yeah, you can say whatever the fuck you want about us, as long as you vote five stars. Give us five stars. Vote. And I'll vote five stars. Vote five stars and I'll fucking eat your fist, dude. If you want to vote Kelly Clarkson to win American Idol, text 555-411. If you want to vote Clay Aiken, 555-412. And if you want to vote five stars, then you go into your podcast app and pick five stars and I'll suck your dick for satire. Satire only. Satire only. This one's real.

I'm going to suck your dick as a bit. And so ends the tale of adventures three, who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you. We'll be back. We'll be back.

Hey, Tuck here telling you to donate to speltlore.com slash money please or patreon.com slash speltmore for more of this. I'm doing an act up, but you can't see it. Below the table. Show me your hands right now. No, I'm still doing it. Show me your hands right now. No. Why? Because I'm masturbating. Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed.

Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-held, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round friends and listen close, for the tale's about to start.

Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian. I'm doing a Spout Lore. I'm playing Abdul Aziz. So long everybody. Fuck. Fuck. Come on man. You are so stupid sometimes. We got a fat jug of energy sea powder. I'm just gonna take a quick photo of this. Don't record my shame. So much vitamin C. Nice. Playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. I never want to forget the time that Abdul was wrong.

That was a compliment. I know. And playing Fat Billy the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Also good evening. When last we left our hero. They took off into the forest. The hordes of vigils, elven forces and nobility at their heels. With some quick and canny illusion work. The pursuers were led astray into the trees. And the party continued jogging through the forest. Realizing if we're gonna be running, this is gonna take a long time. Because this forest is big.

So what we should do is get some mounts. They ascended. Into the canopy. Attempting to tame the hulking, adorable creatures known as tree gliders. Meeting one young tree glider named Clarence. Who agreed to help. On the condition that you all helped free some tree gliders from the clutches of the elves themselves. Clarence took you back to vigil. Finding a sort of hanging stable in the branches where many tree gliders slept and rested. Including. A stable boy.

Who Tuck rock bottomed from the top rope. Leaping out of the canopy. The minds of the listeners being filled with all of the incredible tasks that he has performed in his life. And all of the charity that he has provided. Just before landing his powerful punishing blow. Tuck saw the good in his eyes. Made a connection. Asked if he wanted his tree gliders to be free. To which he agreed. Ving and Billy and Tuck. All made a speech. Explaining how beautiful freedom could be to these war gliders.

Finishing it off with a mighty uniting call from Clarence, the baby tree glider. The war gliders agreed. So you took to their backs. And they took to the trees and the skies. Emerging into the night. Free at last. And that is where we find ourselves now. Plummeting back towards the canopy. Because they glide. They don't fly. Ahhhh! Up draft. Up draft. Up draft. Up draft. And then like leaves in your faces. But now you're in the branches and the boughs.

Can we convince them to take us to the heart tree at the middle of the forest that has the obsidian in it? You can try. Okay. Um. I'm on the back of the big guy, right? Uh, yes. Yeah. What was that guy's name? Uh, they were not given names. Ohhhh shit. So I talked to this guy and I'm like, hey dude, what do you want your name to be? I haven't considered what my nom de plume should be. You should name yourself Black Spire. That's a really cool name. All right. Black Spire it is.

Wait, is that going to be really confusing for listeners to have? Yeah. Yeah, of course it is. What about Black Spire the second? Oh yeah. You should call yourself Black Spire 2. Sir, yes sir. Black Spire 2 reporting for duty. And they're just like running through the trees. Leaping from branch to branch, trunk to trunk. Can you and your, uh, unit help us? Uh, what is it you require of us? We need to get to the, uh, grove of knowledge trees in the middle of the great forest.

They all slam to a halt. Whoa! Whoa! The thing flies off. Sir, no one goes to the center of the forest, sir. Why not? There is a corruption at the heart of the wood. No one would dare enter. We seek to cure this corruption. Or at least to understand it. Okay. Somebody's gonna have to convince them. Offer them something. Knowledge. Encouragement. Can we Spout Lore about the corruption? Uh, yeah. Go ahead and roll 2d6 plus intelligence. Okay, Spout Lore. Great. I got eight. Eight. Okay.

I mean, this could, it sounds, maybe it's a little convenient, but I like that the flying squirrels were, uh, like guardians of the old knowledge area or something. Maybe they had some other sort of function.

I mean, I mean, it could definitely be that that's a, uh, a, uh, a, uh, a, uh, a, uh, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a the tree of ratatat ratatat I think ratasticar or something like that maybe ratatat is a pokemon I don't know how to pronounce it because it's a norse word but you know basically like he's a squirrel that lives in the tree of life in yggdrasil and he is powerful because he's like the keeper of the tree but I do like the idea that yeah the tree gliders became very intelligent over time because they used to live in the knowledge tree yeah that's cool and then the elves in their hubris took them from that place yeah and bent them to their own uses so I think what we learn is what we just said they originated in the region where the heart tree of the forest is and were known for not necessarily tending to but by living their lives kind of maintaining the environment around and in the knowledge trees they are keystone species yeah exactly they eat they eat pests they clear brush when they make their nozzles and they eat pests they eat pests they eat pests they eat pests they eat pests nests that kind of stuff oh yeah and um because the elves being in their minds at least over the last couple generations masters of the forest as opposed to those that live within it they took those seed populations and moved them around the forest altering their environments uh irrevocably yeah we want to um yeah help you get back home it is quite a journey okay is this one you are willing to undertake when you are ready to undertake it will take several days for us to reach this place and that is if we are unaccosted there are many dangers between here and there not to mention the hated elves oh you guys flipped really fast yeah I mean it's good to have a goal uh yeah I mean we're on board we need to go there billy how you feeling I'm feeling a little car sick but I will be fine because I will use my car sick glasses you you!

Uh and perilous journey I guess I think so yeah that makes sense all right back to it we're doing the we're doing the perilous journey from the perilous wilds this is at night uh I'd say it's coming up on early morning during this perilous wild or this perilous journey you will probably enter daytime do they know their way or do I need to scout using my night uh moves oh I think because of night moves yeah you could do some that would probably be a good idea I think that would be a good idea I think that would be a good idea I think that would be a good idea I think that would be a good idea I think that would be a good idea I think that would be a good idea I think that would be a good idea I think that would be a good understanding who's doing scout I could with my nox yep that's true so that's two to six plus wisdom and navigate is two to six plus intelligence eight and uh plus intelligence I got oh seven then okay great so on a seven to nine with scout ahead you choose one from the list below you get the drop on whatever lies ahead you discern a beneficial aspect of the terrain you make a discovery or notice sign of a danger I think the first one get the drop on whatever lies ahead yeah I think so cool yeah okay uh and on a seven to nine on navigate choose one from the list below you happen upon a capital d discovery missed by the scout the going is slow or you wander off course or you encounter a danger whether or not you're surprised depends on whether the scout has the drop uh discovery uh okay so yeah you you travel for a while through the trees on the backs of the tree gliders clarence seems so excited are we kidnapping this kid no one said anything to him so he's like oh man my mom and my daughter gonna be so impressed by all this cool stuff that I've done I'm running around with my friends and we're fucking rebelling and it's so cool now I'm on a journey when he's saying all this ving coaxes in a um a morning dove and he's like can you go tell this kid's parents that he's with us so I just don't want him to worry oh yeah no problem oh what are you guys doing out here I don't know just keeping it cool I like your feathers hey thanks I like your feathers too thank you your head feathers what you're long these these things okay and the morning dove kind of goes and like flaps the side of your head he does the flaps oh yeah I forgot the dove move yeah okay well thank you there's nothing else I guess I'll go oh do you want something to eat I'm gonna go eat something I'm gonna go eat something I'm gonna go eat something or I mean some grains oh I mean if you got grains no no okay well whatever ving looks over to billy can I discern reality to see if there's any leftover granola on billy you don't have to discern realities to look at your child to see if there's granola in his phone oh he's getting all protective that's why okay you really you really want to roll a roll oh no yeah no roll well well well here we are plus what wisdom plus wisdom great I got six um so billy Okay, well, whatever.

Ving looks over to Billy. Can I discern reality to see if there's any leftover granola on Billy? You don't have to discern reality to look at your child. To see if there's granola in his fold. Oh, he's getting all protective. That's why. Okay. You really want to roll a roll? Oh, no. Yeah, I don't. No, roll it. Two to six plus wisdom. Well, well, well. Here we are. Plus what? Wisdom. Plus wisdom. Great. I got six. So Billy fights it really hard. So you're not aiding? No. No.

So roll to see how powerful you are. I will help. Actually, there is a hinder. Billy could hinder. Yeah. And you could give him a minus one. I've never done that. And I'll try and help. And I'll try and do a plus one. This is so fun. Let me pull up the mover. Billy, I just want to see how much granola is in your folds. No. I know that look in your eye. What? Whenever you ask that question, I always end up with less granola than when I had. Just a little bit. A little bit.

Look at this little dove. Don't you know? He wants a little bit. I don't know how long we're going to be in the air for. And what if I don't find another granola for a long time? I know you have. He's a little afraid of missing out. Billy, Vink's trying to fuck this dove, okay? Okay. 2d6 plus aid. Or 2d6 plus bond to aid. That was the vibe. Okay. Yeah. Seven. Okay. So that makes it a seven. 2d6 plus bond to interfere. Okay. Damn it. It's back to six. No, it's a five. It removes two.

You give a minus two or a plus one. Oh. Yeah. So you're trying to get granola off Billy and he's just kicking like a cat? Yeah. He's kicking like a cat. He's wrapping Clarence's skin folds around him like a little blanket. That's fair. Okay. Okay. Okay. Never mind. Never mind. You can't have it. You can't. You know what? I don't even want it anymore. I'm just going to go. Flies off into the sky. Wait. Is he going to deliver that message? I don't know.

I probably would have went with some granola. We'll see, I guess. Can I retroactively give him granola? No. It's too wet. I don't even want it anymore. It has almonds in it. Ugh. And dried cherries. Oh. You should waste one of your fairy childs. Actually, I haven't rolled yet and the sun is coming up. Yeah, the sun is coming up. And the squirrels are taking a break. They've been running for a while, so they're slowing down. Yeah, they're eating mosquitoes. Yeah. Or whatever. Nine.

Which means you get three. Yeah. Yeah. That's plenty. Not enough to spend one on convincing a bird to eat granola. I'm going to waste a fairy child. All right. Okay. Perfect. Charmed the dove. Yeah. Great. And it comes back. Oh, so you're going to make me say M&M's? Yeah. So I lay out my granola on the back of Clarence. I'm like, so you can choose the M&M's or you can have some dried cherries. Sometimes I like to open up the cherry and put an M&M inside. And then it's like a… Fun snack.

Oh, my God. You're like maybe the smartest person I've ever met. Thanks. Pack, pack, pack, pack, pack. Yeah. Clarence. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, I got a little bug in there, too. There's a bug in here. Hmm. So will you go talk to Clarence's parents and tell them where he is? Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. No problem. Thank you. Okay. Bye. I scoop up the rest of my granola back into my pouch. Thank you for sharing. You're welcome. I just wanted to do it myself. I didn't want you to take my granola.

Fair. I wanted to do it. I should have just asked you. You're right. And Tuck and Bing are like, well, it was very nice of you to share. We're going to put a marble in the marble jar. And when it gets up to this line, we're going to go back to the husky for all you can eat breakfast. Oh, boy. Okay. Can I see the marble jar? It's all day breakfast, Tuck. All day breakfast. Don't get me wrong. I'm just kidding. Yeah. Here it is. It's so long and skinny.

And I'm like, oh, I have so many marbles left to do. It's okay. All the more good deeds that you can have done to creatures in the world in a day. Oh, that's so cute. Billy's got like a goal. He's like, I have to do good things so I can go back to the breakfast place. Yeah. Once we fill this thing up, we'll go to the breakfast place. But as you're like all kind of relaxing, the sun is risen through the canopy. Uh, though very thick in most places.

Actually, Ving, I think the canopy is thinner than you remember it being. Like it feels like there's just a lushness that is missing from the forest these days. So the beams of light are coursing down through the trees, heralding the start of a new day. Billy, your body is filled with the tingling energies of the fairy realm and Black Spire 2. It feels awesome. All right. Ready to move out? Uh, yeah, totally. Okay. Mount up. All right. And climb onto his back. Forest. Oh! And they take off.

Uh, I think we're at a point in the forest maybe where we're starting to pass into a different biome. Oh, cool. Like we're leaving the boreal reach and entering a new area of the forest. What is this new area? Do we think? I was thinking something like almost like a swampy area, like a lowland. Oh, that is very cool. I like that. I like the swampy. Buggy. Yeah. Maybe more like mangrove trees. What's a mangrove tree? Mangrove tree is like a swamp tree. Tree that can grow in water. Yeah. Oh, cool.

Lots of them grow in seawater. Yeah. Cool. You see them a lot in like lining tropical islands and stuff like that. Is that the forest of like those dead trees from like that earthquake that happened? Remember they're like. Oh, um, no. That was an earthquake where the water just came in so far. Oh, okay. There was a big tsunami. Oh, like the drowned forest? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's pretty cool too. That's a cool name. I think those are like pines and stuff. Yeah, totally.

Is this area of the forest called the drowned forest? Oh, I liked it. That's a drowned forest that somebody was trying to get water out and they hit an aquifer and it flushed up and killed this part of the forest. Oh, so these trees are dead. It was dead. Okay. Yeah. About midway through the day, you begin noticing the plants and trees around you shifting form and type. And Ving, you remember this being a very rich, lively area of the forest. Like a lot of people, you still live here.

It was like an open glades and groves. Yeah. Open areas. And you notice that the trees around here become withered and pale. Their leaves having fallen long ago. And you notice far down water. And it stinks too. Yeah. It's got like a real boggy sulfurous. Decaying kind of stench. Yeah. Gross. And all of the tree gliders stop for a second because you reach like a barrier basically where the trees end and there's just like water separating you and the next stretch. What is this part of the forest?

I don't recognize it. You wouldn't. Sir, this is a relatively new development in the forest. This place, this is a sick place. We can carry on. But we just want to make sure that you understand. You understand the dangers that you may face in this area of the wood. Spout Lore on what happened here. Yeah, totally. I want to know what happened. Okay. Plus wisdom. 11. So yeah, this is more like what you knew this place to be. What was it called before the drowned forest? The Everglades.

We've got the Everglades. The Florida Everglades. Oh yeah. Is it cold here still? Yeah. I think everything's cold up here. Yeah. Okay. Um. So this is a place that's called the Alder Camp. And it's wet, but it wasn't always this wet. Alder Camp. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So this used to be a place that you went to a couple times with your dad when you were younger called the Alder Camp. Yeah. It's like a base camp for the Rangers. Oh, cool.

It used to be like a, yeah, a base camp, a training ground for Rangers. They had like more permanent, um, wall tents and stuff set up here or whatever they. Yeah. Seasonal tentage. Yeah, totally. I like that. Cool. Ving, you're like sniffing around. And looking at the water and you would have to guess that like this came from below somehow. So something happened, either a fissure or an earthquake that brought this like ancient underground water up to flood this place. Classic.

The, the, the, the hands of elves have ruined the land again. Yeah. Dug too deep and got too greedy. Just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, Mm-hmm. Just definitely wasn't us, right? From all the Perel stuff we did? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, thankfully, of all the things that you've done, this probably wasn't one of them.

And Tuck's like, it's nice to see something that's not my fault. It's nice to see a disaster that wasn't caused by me. Uh-huh. Yeah, so Black Spire 2 says, when the water came up, they say things came with it. Things exist just below the surface that are dangerous. Bog imps? What is that? I don't know. They're in magic together. Oh, is it like imps, like sprites kind of? Yeah, they're like distorted underground fairies. Ooh, that's cool.

I guess because our imps would be weird fairies, wouldn't they? Oh, I have. I was thinking about, because you know how we've talked about how fairies kind of bind themselves, like if they want to stick around, they connect themselves to like a cat or like a boot or whatever. Or a little boy. Or a little boy. Or a little boy. I was thinking, maybe it's too spooky, but I was thinking like ones that connect themselves to like dead things. Ghosts. I was going to say ghosts. Or dead actual.

Like dead animals. Like I imagine like a fairy that's like taken the body of a dead animal and like kind of made it into its own body. That's pretty cool. That's creepy. Or if a fairy gets tethered to its mortal coil and that thing dies and it refuses to let it go. Right. And it becomes this twin. Twisted hanging on. Yeah. So yeah, maybe that's what happened. Like when this place flooded, the animals that lived here and the fairies that were connected to them couldn't survive anymore.

I like that it's become the drowned forest. Right. That would actually be cool because like we know that the water under this area is like so powerful. So that would be pretty sick if it were like the fairies in the zone and then they drown in that flood. So was it one fairy or a bunch of fairies that got into all of the animals? I haven't decided that. There's been a few. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it would be a bunch. I imagine it's being like a bunch. Yeah.

Maybe they were like golemizing in this weird underground aquifer. They were feeding off this crazy. Oh yeah. This crazy energy water that now has been spilled out into the world. Yeah. Like the water affected the fairies. So this isn't something that fairies would normally do. No. So that's why this swamp is so like dangerous. Yeah. Yeah. Like when, yeah, when Billy was, when we were in the cave with Perel going down, then he was like, no, I will sacrifice myself or, you know, that water.

That water was really potent. Yeah. But this seems like almost corrupt in where that water is like pure life energy. Like this water is almost corrupted. Yeah. It could be the same, but it could just be length of time you're spending in there. Oh yeah. That's what I'm thinking. Like ancient stagnant. Yeah. To the point of it turning rotten. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Like these fairies can leave it maybe because they're just so like entranced. Oh yeah. By it. So they don't leave. Mm-hmm. And.

It changes though. Yeah. It changes though. Yeah. Whoa. That means they've been there for a long time. Yeah. So did you guys, when I was gone, did you guys talk about what caused the water to come up? Just that it, it must've come, like it might've been a fissure. It might've been people digging. It could have been anything. It could have been someone ice fishing. Going for a well. Someone ice fishing. Just thinking like some rangers like, fuck yeah. Just hit a little hot. Simple hole here.

Fuck. This is so sick. You get so many fucking trouts. Guys, I fucking love you. I love hanging out with you and just fucking love you. I love you. I love you. Yeah. And then. Can I use bardic lore histories of the grand world to figure out if I know what happened here? The Drowned Forest is definitely an album. Yeah. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. Blood Feet made an album that was called The Drowned Forest. Blood Feet is teaching us everything. I know. It's almost like Blood Feet knows too much.

Like we're using them too much. Well. It's probably why they don't play live shows anymore because it's just suspicious. Yeah. They're like, why does Blood Feet know everything? This doesn't make any sense. Well, there are a bunch of like, yeah, young librarians and now they just went back to the library. Oh, that is actually really funny. If it's a bunch of fucking nerds. Yeah. I fucking love that. Yeah. That's really good.

Fucking makes sense too because it's like you're from McCall, which is like land of giants. So it would be such a metal place. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The North is always in metal bands. Especially with bar. Bar. Bar like influences the culture so much. Right. Yeah. And it would be really funny if that was like the librarians like did this like experiment where they were like, okay, so the world's fucked and nobody knows anything anymore.

And there's a bunch of idiots out there that love listening to music. So what you guys are going to do is like just four nerds sitting in a room. Okay. Sesame Street of metal. Yeah. You guys are going to go out there and start a metal band and try and put as much information as possible into that. The music. What should we call it? What should we call it? Reading's fun. Shut up. That's a terrible name. Yeah. It's got to be something cool like fucking blood. Come on. Help me out guys.

And then some pervert is like feet. One of them is a perv. One of them is a total perv. Yeah. I'm going to vote the drummer or the bass player. Yeah. His drum set is on a roller coaster whenever they perform live. It's really awful because it's hard to keep track of. Yeah. He worked in those mine carts in the library. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Okay. So that is what we know about this area of the drowned forest. Wait. I didn't get to bardic lore on it. Oh, right. So what's your question? What caused the water to come out? Oh, yeah. Oh, weird. I just had a brain cartoon, you know? Oh, yeah. Of them. You know, they're at camp. So they drill the well to have water. Oh, it looks like there's a bit of an aquifer down here.

There's a drinking water bubble. But a couple of people start getting a little squirrely, like ravenous, kind of like because it's tainted. The water, the water, the water. That's smart. Oh, and then that's why the camp is gone. Yeah. They drilled it in. So some of the people, they could be dead elves. They could be dark dead elves. I think that would be really cool. So that's like, yeah, that's what brought the water up was this like mad thirst. Oh, so they kept digging for it.

Maybe the ones that stayed behind. Oh, yeah. It was like a thing where they were like, the water that's coming out. It's not enough. We need to dig more. We need to flood the forest. They couldn't satiate their thirst. Yeah. Yeah. Tuck, that is what you recall. You recall a song by Bloodfeet called The Thirstening. Oh, sick. Cool. So sick. The Thirstening. I was originally just going to call it The Thirst, but I thought The Thirstening was funnier. The Thirstening is really funny.

Thirstening is fully something that Tuck thought about getting a tattoo of. And like big type. Yeah. Across his neck. Across his neck. Across his knuckles. The Thirstening. And he just couldn't make the number of letters work. Doesn't make any sense. It's weird because much like all of their songs, it's not super specific historical accounts, but it's like, in the land of the elves, people were getting thirsty. So they dug in the water, made them sick, but the sickness made them thirsty.

Now the water's drinking them. Now the water's drinking them. And the Thirstening has come to the forest of the elves. And this is Tuck. He's got a bottle open and he's playing it for Billy and Vig. We're all doing like little head bangs. Like, yeah. Fucking kicks. And Tuck's like, so that's what happened here. Isn't that three kick drums? I know. And it's on a roller coaster. Sir. Sir, if I may say, sir. Yes. Permission to speak freely. Speak as you were. That song rips ass, sir.

This is why you're Black Spire 2. He's like, they're big, but I can't overstate how much he is like a cute sugar glider. He's got big eyes and a fluffy face. So small nose. Tiny little pink nose. Perfect eyelashes. As I'm playing this song, he's like bobbing up and down on the branch that he's on. So it's like bouncing up and down. And then all the other ones are just moshing. They start taking big steps. Oh my God, they're going to mosh. The branches are shaking. I know, yeah. The trees.

Just bowing under the force of their mosh. Yeah, sir. Within that forest, last creatures beyond explanation. But we are willing to take you into those woods if it means completing our goal. Sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. And tuck salutes too. Sir. Salute. Sir. Step. They back up and they take a running leap. And they over this big, wide expanse of water that looks like maybe this was, if not close to where the original fissures were created.

Like something about the environment created like coursing rivers through certain parts of the woods. So it's like a Pocahontas river. Yeah, exactly. Kind of. Yeah, just around the river bend. Oh. Yeah. And the Black Spire 2, Clarence and the others land on the other side, their skin folding back into their bodies. And they continue on through the forest, but with more caution because the trees here are weaker and yeah, less vital. And the day is going to pass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The day is going to pass for a while. If there's anything you guys want to do on the ride. Oh, we're still going. We're going above the drowned forest. Yeah. You're above the waterline, but you're beneath the canopy. Ooh. Should we look for like a cache? Yeah. Or shacks of stuff. Yeah. We want to go and look for elven ranger haunted treasure. I figured you guys did. We want to loot a graveyard. Classic us.

We love looting graveyards. Preferably with the permission of the loved ones that are buried within. Who's rolling what? I think it's a discern realities, right? It would be a discern realities. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're all rolling dice. I know. I think it's because we all want to find stuff. We all want to loot. So who wants to do it? I'll discern the realities. All right. I got 12. Holy shit. I'm so glad I didn't do it.

All right. Discern the realities. What should I be on the lookout for? I'm going to go ahead and assume it's zombie monsters. What should you be on the lookout for? Can I suggest something? Yes, please. I think that the imps are.

Like unless something is like activating you know like bothers them or alerts them they float dead in the water oh those just like floating bodies and like they are still decaying that's spooky I like that a lot and I what I was thinking like in the same way of like what was her name that you don't go near the well in McCall? Omishusha?

Omishusha that this is like you know that in places where you don't go in the woods because the wild woman will get you so this is the same thing to keep kids inside but it's an actual thing the night imps oh yeah so he grew up with a story of like you know you don't wander and that's also to keep kids and people away from dead animals to help ward off diseases and pestilence but also there is some magic or some fairy spirit animation there yeah there is a real danger it's a combo of like stay away from dead things because they're pestilent but also stay away from dead things because they might still be alive yeah that Game of Thrones-y kind of way of like oh it's just these are old ladies bedtime stories children fall asleep when it's really cold like if the bodies are in the water which of course they are safe to pass because they're frozen in there but if it's like slightly warmer like it is now and the ice is kind of like I see it like the ice is like patchy oh yeah like broken antlers sticking out of it tough or something like half frozen dead animals in it yeah the reason the rest of the forest is safe is because the imps don't leave the water because there's yeah like the fairies or whatever that inhabit them they're like addicted to it they wouldn't leave and if for some reason you took like one of these like bodies that inhabited away it would just be a body it would lose the life giving ability or like half life giving ability I pictured the imps like before you were saying that too that in that narcissist narcissist yes story of looking they're caught up so it's these imps and they're old fairies who are obsessed with their own reflection and got drawn into the water sort of thing and like the so cool and the bogs of Lord of the Rings too yeah because fairies are already obsessed with individuality yes they're so obsessed with themselves that's what makes them what they are yeah so these ones are even more so they're like narcissists and like I have to look at myself all the time that's so cool but they're doing it from the bottom of the water like just staring at the reflection on the surface like a two way mirror yeah because they're fairies so things are reversed kind of but they're also there's also probably an agonizing quality to it because they're like I'm this dead thing yeah they're only going to look worse yeah obsessed with how horrible they look so that's probably why they're like out of their minds like dangerous because they just watch themselves decay for like generations yeah cool so as you're riding through the trees you are thinking about the lyrics where they talk about the imps and you're like oh my god they're like imps oh fuck no and you see not like a ton but every once in a while you'll see a dead animal kind of floating in the water or frozen in the ice and you're like oh god stay away from those oh yeah oh stay away from the dead animal I wasn't really like trying to get there I wasn't terribly keen to go approach it really do not approach sounded like Tuck was reading a magazine stay away from those oh yeah Tuck and Billy were playing cat's cradle I still am not very good at it you're getting better though I'm getting better yeah he keeps making it into an actual cat yeah I can't get my fingers in when's the cat and then yeah Viggo's just like stay away from those sorry guys sorry I'm a little jumpy right now I'm a little now you got my kid brain on but yeah that's something to keep an eye out for is any dead thing in here could be an imp okay what's useful or valuable to me so you remember where the camp that your father took you to was and though the forest has changed quite a lot you can look around and see like you know oh there's a hill over here or like a mountain peak this way so you're able to in your mind you know that you're on the right track and if you were to turn a bit more to the west that you would find okay Alder camp who's really in control here so knowing that you like you know about imps you know about the corrupting influence of like fairies in some parts of this wood you know about the corrupting influence of like fairies you know that it's not the water like you're like yeah the water seems to have been like a huge issue in destroying this part of the forest but like much like you felt at the knowledge tree sort of the creeping sickness in the roots and in the branches it's just the forest like the forest itself on a grand scale is being turned poisoned twisted cool but yeah so now you know the direction of Alder camp yeah if that's a place you want to go poke around in something that you could do do you guys want to go for a poke yeah yeah okay you give Black Spire 2 who is definitely the leader of these tree gliders including Clarence who's kind of fallen to the back and is like yeah I'm having such a good time love being part of a group love doing stuff him and Hank are hanging out the Mohawk one yeah and you we look back and Clarence has got a little Mohawk he's riding Hank yeah!

Like they're taking turns being like woo look at me I'm a stupid elf and uh yeah not that long later under an hour later you um start seeing like structures dilapidated though they are in the trees and you're like ah we have arrived Alder camp oh is it like there's like structures built like halfway up trees and stuff like little houses they're off the ground for sure sick like the ranger camp is almost fully off the ground hell yeah one's hidden among the boughs of the woods of these trees now that they are dead and dying they are almost fully visible like they're made of the same wood so they blend in a little bit but they are not obfuscated like they once were and then it's a frozen mass of yeah patchy like gaps in the ice show like stagnant gray water ugh so you're on one of these structures and they all look like wooden spheres made of like a tightly fitting uh wooden board of some kind that creates this this circular structure and they're all skirted around the middle by a wooden walkway cool yeah I like that they're giant burls oh smart yeah that's cool I love that yeah they're giant carved out burls what's a burl like the big knot in the tree that people carve burls out of oh cool yeah but like real big ones yeah some of them are all bumpy and knotty on the outside that's cool yeah they're not all perfectly smooth because they're supposed to blend into the wood that's true yeah that's way cooler that is way cooler yeah so you find these structures rotting old a far cry from what you remember as a young man yeah how many like little houses or whatever are there um I think this is one of many camps like the rangers being out in the wild as they are there's not like one central camp so this is probably like 10 buildings of varying sizes are they like are they kind of like the tree orbs or something like that where it's like that's what I was imagining linked up yeah totally yeah they're like orbs hanging from the tree but they were like it was a weapons cache yeah like it was like yeah yeah I mean all the rangers camps will have some weapons and some in the fleeing of this place probably left a bunch of stuff behind yeah I need a weapon tlc is still back at the right yeah vigil we uh cut back to vigil and uh tlc is like the blade is on the ground and the handle's leaning against the wall and the three of them are just sitting on the blade kind of like kicking their little feet and uh terry and larry terry's holding his hands out palms down and then he's like oh my god and larry's holding them out palms up trying to slap his hands they're playing slap scenes yeah and chad is just like doing chin-ups on the on the back yeah totally he's just working out yeah and the axe is vibrating and it sounds kind of like sabotage they're just listening to music I like thinking of one of the um the rangers he's kind of like hanging out with it and other stuff oh I bet there's like because the rangers are like um operatives like special forces guys I bet one of them is like one from dethaniel's talent went in and is like hello I'm a bureaucrat in the palace I'm just a normal guy but he's like keeping an eye on all your stuff I think so it's the huge jason momoa one it's taurus so like he doesn't speak so anytime tiny half moon glasses yeah little glasses and a vest and like a clipboard and anytime someone comes in he just pushes them out of the room doing inventory just shakes the clipboard in their face every once in a while the axe will vibrate he'll be like what the fuck yeah and he's like look over like look at it yeah and it stops and they'll like play tricks on him yeah yeah oh yeah they're doing total fairy stuff oh yeah because usually they like have purpose because tuck is moving them around but now they're kind of just left to their own devices and they're kind of destructive oh yeah so they just like push a cup off a table like creep around off the axe and it's like a paper cup I know yeah talk talk talk talk talk spills a little bit of water and they're like fuck yeah bro oh fuck it up that's kind of cool that they're like uh able to kind of leave their axe now and do little thingies as they become more and more individual I think they become more like more their own fairies yeah like three separate little dudes yeah taurus is probably like the worst undercover ranger he's huge because he's huge but he's also the best in that no one really wants to fight him fuck with him yeah they're just like oh god just don't look at him man every once in a while like an elf maiden will walk by and be like holy shit look at that guy and he just silently stares at them and then goes back to his job there's like a secretary no not a secretary who would what do people do in the court an attendant a lady in waiting a lady in waiting a peasant a handmaid a milkmaid a milkmaid she's milking the tree gliders a tess of a the dubervilles yeah she's all those things yeah she comes in with a lot of questions all the time and he's the worst one to answer because he doesn't speak so he just has to like point at stuff I imagine he writes he's it's the last thing he thinks of because he's really slow when he writes so he just has to take a long time there's like a long scene of this elf maiden teaching him how to read he can't he doesn't speak so he's just like in his head he's like I totally know how to read but she seems to really be enjoying this process she's like she's like you're my beautiful brute and I will teach you how to read people talk so much and we cut back to alder camp the tree gliders take up their positions in the trees black spire 2 goes spread out man maintain the perimeter and they are we like landed on the cabin area yeah I think they like black spire 2 goes and whoever else you're writing clarence drop you off I roll a trap expert in case absolutely you can nice in case of anything nine nine oh shit would anyone like to help me I will aid I was reading a magazine okay here we go billy I'm gonna help you do this thank you how are you helping I'm like holding onto the tree and like leaning him around this like structure like so he can look between the slats smart 11 okay that makes it a 10 you get three hold from trap expert is there a trap here and if so what activates it there is a trap here tuck like grabs you by your scruff and holds you out over the edge it's daytime now so like the bright light is filtering through the trees and reflecting off the ice and you see kind of like if you're on one of these like balls with the little walkway around them you're kind of on one on one side one side it's of like a circle of buildings and in the gap in between them between the tree in the center has like a thawed out area of the ice around it so there's like dark gray murky water and you see just below the surface what looks like a fox's skull with like still like skin and flesh and hair clinging to it and like eyes in its skull Oh like a terminator fox's skull yeah kind of you see it's like withered claw reaching up just below the water like if it wasn't for ripples.

Yeah, it's like brushing the underside of the water. It looks like it's coveting something. Yeah. And you would guess that if you were to get its attention or break its concentration in some way, then it would attack. So what does it do when activated? It would attack, and that ruckus, if there were any others in the area, you expect would wake them. Okay. What else is hidden here? Hmm. Treasure. Sick, awesome treasure. So many good weapons.

You're standing here, and yeah, you see all these orbs around, and you're like, I love finding stuff sense goes off, and you're like, hmm, nope. Like, looking at each orb, like, not that one, not that one. And then one is slightly larger than the others, and you're like, that one. And you see that all the, like, hatches on it, like, the doors that are built into the circular orb nature of it look, like, closed and sealed. And you're like, ha ha, fuck that.

There's, like, sort of rickety bridges that connect the orbs. So we gotta be really quiet and careful as we cross. Oh yeah. Yeah, cause remember, like, anything falling onto the ice or into the water might wake the imp. Okay, so Billy does what Joel does in The Last of Us, where he turns to everyone, he says, okay, from here on out, we are silent. Not quite, quiet, silent. Yes, Billy. Pretty cool. Pretty cool line.

And then Tuck silently takes a marble out of the jar, cause he's like, please and thank you. It's important. So Billy says please and thank you and then goes, shh. And then Tuck puts the marble back into the jar. Wow, what a motivating factor we found in season 10 of the show. Until Billy, I don't know, stops loving breakfast, I guess. I guess so, yeah. The earth will burn before Billy stops loving breakfast. Yeah, so if you wanna get across to that orb shack, you gotta be really careful.

I'll use light as a feather to cross over to the orb shack. Oh, sick. When I run across the surface, cannot hold my weight, roll plus dex. 11. So you're able to get across like Legolas style, like your steps are so sure and so light. That you barely, like they're like rope bridges almost. And you barely disturb them. Great. I wanna somehow sure them up so that they can come across. Yeah, you could definitely try. Give me a defy danger intelligence. Oh, fuck. Four. Oh, god. Why did I do that?

My dad's a carpenter, I'm a carpenter too. So how do we think this happens? I had a thick, I found a thick rope, a big thick rope to sure up the rope bridge and I was like, I'm gonna throw it across. Catch it. So he's like and like really confidently swinging above his head and he throws it and it goes like less than halfway. Yeah, it's a rope that's way way too short. It just whistles out of his hands. The end of it, I could've grabbed it. My reflexes are so fast. So it's both too short.

And it falls short. So you just throw a rope into the water. Just throw a big rope into the water below. Great. Damn it. I'm sorry. We all watch as it who can say like this. Who can say where the wind blows? Where the dice roll? Where we become? And you see right where the water splashes, the decayed fox face under the water like blinks while tries to blink because it has no eyelids. Jesus. And then it starts to like poke its snout through the water.

And maybe it looks like it's digging, you know, like when the thing is burrowing, but it's burrowing it underneath the surface. Oh, God. It's leaving like trails on the ice where it's like digging. Oh, like its claws? Yeah, it's like decaying claws. Yeah. Oh, God. I hate this so much.

And it starts to like, it pokes its head fully out of the water and you see the like complete rot and decay of this thing's body, but also that it looks like the way its neck moves, it's more anthropomorphized than it should be. Like it's become humanoid in a way. Oh, God. Twisted humanoid version of a fox. That's fucking gross. That's so cool. And it starts to like look around, but it seems currently still in a bit of a torpid state. Okay. So it's like looking, sniffing. Can we hide?

You can try. Or could I use fairy dust? Oh, to put it back to sleep? Yeah. Yeah, you could. Yeah, I'll do that. Okay. Eight. Okay. With the seven to nine, you get to choose one of three, which I think is you can do it from a distance. Do it to a bunch of people. And it lasts for a long time. So I think the only one that really applies. I have to do it from a distance because I am not going near that thing. Oh, yeah. Which means you've got a bit of a ticking clock situation. So what is it?

What does it look like when Billy does this? Um, what? Oh, no, I just pictured like when a kid spits off a bridge and tries to spit onto a car. That's exactly what I do. There's no other way. Slowly hawking. And it's coming out like dribbles. Oh my God. What? So these dribbles arc off the bridge and land in the water and like spread out. Yeah. And the glitter like like glitters into the water.

And the imp seems to like relax like and sink back beneath the surface and temporarily unfortunately out of sight. Horrible. Oh, Jesus. Okay. Should we try and just shuffle across this thing as quickly as possible? Do like crabs like sideways. Yeah. Okay. Okay. 2d6 plus dexterity, I guess. Oh my God. Fuck me. Eight. Eight. Okay. You're trying to sneak and like, you realize that like the first board you step on like creeks and the next one like crumbles a little bit.

So you're like you sneak really fast. It's like, oh my God, quite enough right now, but only because Billy has like enchanted basically everything below the surface of this lake for now. Okay, so get a move on. Yeah, move and move and move. We're running now. Yeah. Yeah. I'm kind of like trying. I'm doing the thing where like I try and move in Billy's footsteps. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you get to the other side. You pass a few orbs on your way. Some look like they were bunks.

Maybe smashed furniture and like rags of clothing. And you finally get to the other side. The orb that Billy was like, there's something in here and the hatch is closed. I use tricks of the trade for the door. Yeah. Twelve. Twelve. Fuck. Yeah. On a ten plus I do it. No problem. Perfect. So it is a lock. What kind of like it's not just going to be a like an apartment door lock. What is an elven lock? Maybe it's like because they work with like living wood so much.

Maybe it's like roots or tendrils that weave together intertwined. Yeah. So how do you pick it? I think it's similar to like the puzzle artichoke because you have to like unwind it like kind of like chronologically. Yeah. Oh, you have to take out what was most recent in there and then move back to the oldest. Mm-hmm. Really cool. So is it an element of removing something from the lock that it gets a little panel that you how do you affect? There's no key. It's like undoing like a knot.

A really big knot. Yeah. And Billy really feels his way through this lock situation and you expected it to be harder than it ended up being for you. Something is just like, you know what? This makes way more sense than how people usually make locks like look at this. This fits here and this moves that way. Beautiful. The only the only downside is that it doesn't have the same satisfying click as human made locks. Yeah, Billy goes, oh man, because the door just goes just opens a little bit.

Yeah, stuff sucks. It never smashes or clicks. I love when it smash. I know I can't I tried to slam so many oven doors when we were escaping. It's just like a two-way door. It all fits in together so well. I know it's like their fucking language. It's all like L sounds you slam a door and it just goes not like in my call. Yeah, my call McCall. Everything's lambs and shatters all the time. There's glass everywhere. Our city was built on a shattering motherfucker.

We built this city on broken glass. Cool. Perfect. And yeah, the door open and loving and inside you see a bunch of fucking stuff. Dibs. It's just okay. No. Okay. I think what I think how we'll do. Okay, so how I'm imagining it is as because of course the inside is round. There's a floor so people can step on it. Yeah, but I imagine that the containers instead of shelves are like scoop shaped like buckets kind of lining the walls. Oh, cool.

Yeah, so we're not going to do I would love to do the the Omni loot table because I love the Omni loot table, but I don't think anything we find here would be like a magic. Can we all come up with our own exactly, but it's going to be based on roles. So let's say defy danger wisdom and then if it's a 10 plus you guys get to tell me what it is within reason if it's a seven to nine you tell me what it is and I'll tell you why it kind of sucks define reason. I say yes or no. Okay. Thank you.

If you're just like I find a gun. I will say no. I find a gun that has so many other guns attached to it and never ending bullets. I I! Find a gun that shoots other guns. And each of those guns shoots a bullet that shoots a gun. I imagine it's got guns attached so it like fans out. Yeah, gun fan. One gun to rule them all. So everybody starts digging around? Yeah. All right. It's so dumb. Okay, well. Got a seven. Seven? Okay. Four. All right. I got six. Six. Oh, yeah. So I picked.

Oh, I didn't even think about what I would find. If you guys have ideas. Yeah. What are you looking for? I guess I was looking for like an axe or a weapon or something. Oh, yeah. I think. Okay. I think if tuck is like I got to find an axe. Oh my God. You're digging around looking for some sort of melee weapon. Yeah. And you're like, oh, your hand reaches into one of the buckets and closes around the handle of a weapon. Oh, sick. And you pull it out and it's a tiny little knife.

Son of a fucking bitch. But that's what you get. Okay. Well, it doesn't even look like it's a fighting knife. It looks like it was for like preparing food. It's a little paring knife. Tiny paring knife. And tuck's like, well, you are going to replace the waning knife and my magic axe. He says to the knife. You hear the knife go, oh, jeez. Oh, boy. You got big shoes to fill, buddy. And then he goes to put it in his pocket. It drops to the ground. Because he's wearing a loincloth. Yeah.

He has no pockets. Okay. Who next was looking for things? Ving wants to find, yeah, some sort of record of when the drowned forest first happened. Yeah. And you find a written, you find like a rolled up piece of bark, like the writing implements that you saw back in Vigil and that you remember being a more common form of writing for elves, but it's encoded. Oh. So you can't read it at all. Oh, what? I unfurl it. Can't read it at all. Can't read it at all? Damn it. Damn it. Yeah. That's okay.

Bring it with you. Maybe we can get someone to translate. Oh, yeah. You got it. Yeah. And then Billy is digging around. Billy's basically looking for stuff that he just likes. Uh-huh. He finds something cool and like very sparkly. Mm-hmm. And it looks like the shard of crystal or like glass. Okay. So he pulls on that and it's a big hooked sword. Whoa. Made of like black glass. Like a scimitar? Yeah. Cool. Interesting. And it's huge. Fuck yeah.

So Billy's like, he can't, he like pulls it out, almost like cuts his own head off. Oh, shit. Be careful with that. Really. Look what I found. Oh my God. Stop swinging around. The king of the sword. Oh my God. Duck and roll. Duck and roll. All right. And then Chuck is like, Billy, do you want to trade? Because I had, I found this. Billy-sized knife. Yeah. And Chuck like pulls out this tiny knife and it looks like he's holding a fucking toothpick. It's so small.

And he's like, I found this super little knife. It's the littlest thing I've ever seen. Billy's interested. His face is peaked, but he's like, how is it cooler than this one though? I don't know. Maybe add a couple marbles on top of it. And maybe I'll think about trading. Fucking extorting him. Chuck like pretends to be like, two marbles. And Bing's like, two marbles? But that's worth a whole lot. Yeah.

And Chuck starts patting his pockets like, I don't even know if I can scrounge up two marbles. Well, then I guess I'm keeping the sword. That's the only thing I found. And Chuck's like, you drive a really hard bargain. Look at this handle. It's so heavy. And big. Now Billy thinks he's in control of the negotiation. But Billy is using wealth and taste. Oh yeah. He is using wealth and taste. We don't have to roll it. Yeah, I'm making a show of flashing around my most valuable possession.

And Chuck will do anything they can to obtain this item. So halfway through faking it, Chuck's like, okay, yeah, whatever. I'll fucking do anything. However many marbles. I want five marbles. And then Chuck drives. Five marbles. Drops five marbles in the jug. And I want the knife. And you get the knife too. Yes! And Billy throws the sword at me. Bing catches it in between them because it's going blade first.

And Billy's like brandishing his new little tiny knife that fits pretty comfortably in his hand. He's like, hi-yah! Hi-chah! Hi-chah! I take the sword from very, and I'm also doing the same. Hi-yah! Hi-chah! Uh, okay. Something to, I don't, not to be the rain on the parade. Okay. Something to consider. Why was this thing in here? What the fuck is it? And also it was a seven to nine. Oh, right. Oh, fuck. So it's like something shitty about it. So there is a downside. Oh.

We just don't know what the downside is. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. So you guys are, uh, you know, doors open, kind of just like hanging out in this, you know, orb knocking around on the floor of Vingston. Yeah. Oh yeah. We're being pretty loud at real. I was like whooshing around our weapons. Yeah. Doing like moves. Yeah. Like the door is so quiet. So we've been like slamming it, just trying to make it, make any noise. Uh-huh. I'm making, uh, I'm making, um, what do you call it? Lightsaber noises? Yeah.

I'm making, I am making lightsaber noises. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. And the lightsaber noises. That's when they like hit. Okay, you don't have to show off. You asked us to show off. Please let us do it. Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry.

Please let us make these noises. Please. Please. Wow, this is why we don't ask guys to do like sounds. Man, the fact that you hang out with us is astounding. This is great. So cool. This is great. I can't make my own sound effects. My allegiance is to the Republic. Okay. To democracy. Also, my spell, I could only pick one of three. Right. It does not last very long. And out on the water, you hear ice begin to crack. Water begin to be displaced.

And you look out on the bridge and you see rotting bodies begin to climb through the ice. Multiple? Multiple. A menagerie. The bog imps have arrived. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello. Fuck. What the fuck is wrong? You didn't completely flint. Yeah. That's amazing. Ugh. Playing Vig the Half-Elf Druid Paul Hoppers. Goodbye. Was that hard?

Playing Fat Billy the Half-Legged Thief Jessica Tai. Bye, everyone. Thank you to Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music. If you want to hear Aaron's truly excellent original music, check him out at aaronreid.bandcamp.com. And also the truly excellent show music that he musics for the show. You can find it at soundcloud.com. Thank you to all of our Patreon supporters supporting us around the world. And in return, getting stuff like a bonus campaign set in the High Spear Mall.

Art, merchandise, gift boxes. At the higher levels, you get monthly games with myself and Abdul. Theoretically. Theoretically. I'm assuming that that has come out by this point. I hope so. And a whole whack more shit. So check that out at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. And thank you finally and most of all to you for listening. See you next time. And so ends the tale of Adventures 3. Who tried the best they could. Though dumb and scared and lost they be.

For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more. Whilst you continue. Or do your chores. And for you I gladly Spout Lore.

Spout Lore is only made possible through the contributions of listeners like you. If you would like to donate, please go to Spout Lore dot com slash money, please, or patreon dot com slash Spout Lore. And if you go there, you'll get a bunch of bonus content, too, which is nice. It's good bonus content. I work really fucking hard on it. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest, they men are. But their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hi. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes, they began their journey into the Great Forest at the hands of Dathaniel, the Ranger King's talon, including long-lost childhood crush of Laran Garvinga. Don't say my full name. Wendy, a.k.a. Wendeliari. Man, elves suck.

And we're just kind of free-balling the names. This is the most we've gotten. We're going to look at a different language so far. We got a brief introduction to a group of rangers, including Taurus, a large, silent half-elf with a brace of hatchets. Nesh, the young guy doing cool karate kicks next to the fire. Lysander, an old ranger, smoking a pipe. And Wendy. Billy snuck off into the woods to get more information on why Wendy is the way that she is. And using lightning in a bottle.

Got a little shadow play of how Wendy's family has been personally victimized by the corruption at the heart of the court of the forest. Being thrown in prison for not paying dues to the proper corrupt noble, basically. Yeah. Leading her to join the rangers. And Billy got the idea, joined Dathaniel in his quest to bring down the nobility. And leading us to wanting to go to Wendy's, the restaurant, this weekend. Right. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Because of Wendy's restaurant. The party had a brief snooze in the woods and then arrived at the Boreal Reaches capital. Vigil. A city in the trees. Being accosted by a pair of giant flying squirrel riding guards. Pretty cool. The party was imprisoned in a hanging prison made of living tree cages. And given a brief look at the elven tradition. Tradition of shunning where they all just turned their back on the party and had a meal.

Which was really it was just a really awkward meal because they're all facing the same direction. Yeah. The musicians were facing the same direction. No one could look at each other really. Billy made an enemy of a young elf noble named Finn. A little boy with a bowl cut who he threw a pine cone at. Yeah cause he's a piece of shit. Yeah he is a piece of shit. Billy swapped Finn's food with a bunch of crap. Like sticks and branches and leaves and bugs. I think some literal shit.

I think literal turds. Actual turds. Some literal shit. A bug. There was a bug in there. There was some bugs. A big bug yeah. And our friends met a new friend of theirs Illurio an old man. Yeah. In a cage nearby who has been imprisoned for fraud.

He was a nice companion for you up until the point where it was decided that the only way you were gonna get what you needed to get was to escape from the cage so Illurio gave you some information on how to charm the wood and you escaped down the side of the tree and it was because Dathaniel didn't come for us. He said he would send someone to get us. Yes. There was somebody that was supposed to let you out and they did not.

So you escaped and began climbing down the tree palace of Vigil and discovered the reason that no one had come yet was because there was a meeting happening in Dathaniel's court in which other nobles demanded your immediate execution you realized that time was of the essence and hurried down the tree following Ving's remembrance of the paths though overgrown and brambly now to the tree of knowledge at the city of Vigil Billy did a brief bit of detective work connecting to the tree itself finding that the trees of the forest the knowledge trees originally connected via a vast root network to the tree at the heart of the forest have begun to isolate and corrupt and Billy saw at the very heart of the forest in the heart of the heart tree a small piece of night black obsidian and that is where we find our heroes now Billy you've just discovered this corruption at the very very heart of the forest and Tuck you hear a great cry go up from where you assume is the direction of the tree cages and you know that time is now getting away from you people are going to be looking for you now like the guard is crying like they're going to be so mad at me exactly I'm going to get fired I just got a new sound of over armor I can't afford the lease basement that's exactly what you hear my elf credits gonna be shit after this and then you hear him go no I promise it wasn't me as you hear a greater cry as everybody finds that guard crying in front of the cages now empty and you hear find them so I turn to these guys and I go I think people are fucking coming what do we do get out of here we know there's tunnels under the trees right oh fun yeah we did talk about how some of the trees are connected via tunnels but it's a matter of like getting into those tunnels can I discern realities to see if I can find like a secret passage into the tunnels absolutely yeah so discern realities there's not a single dice on the table right because what is happening you guys didn't pour out all your dice during my intro to throw me off like normal whoa so many dice okay we really only need two d6 yeah I'm gonna use that sound for if anyone ever rolls dice okay I need one d dice a three-sided dice should do for this roll that is actually a very fun idea yeah all right all right 2d6 plus wisdom oh no you knew you knew what this was what this was I forgot all of my stats I'm already ready to aid okay everybody pick up your aid dice just roll them at the same time okay yeah that's a that's a two so I got ten so bringing that two or three okay I'm gonna roll my aid ten also so that's a four guys I'm so sorry that was the only time I would have allowed you to double aid unfortunately so what's tuck doing to make this no I don't have TLC they took another reason we need to get in the tunnels get TLC and then get the fuck out of here are we sure that our weapons are in the tunnels no no no we sneak back and yeah they would probably be in the actually there's really no way to know where they are can I commune with TLC from a distance can you can you use shadow dance to find them is it is it daytime yet no I want to talk to the trees that are locked in the endless network you guys talk so fast you bamboozled me into forgetting that Abdul failed miserable so now because you didn't let me do the first failure two failures combine into a mega failure no but what it is is you see like tuck your warrior sense you hear like voices and shouting and running you know that they are like moments away from finding you shit shit shit shit can we like hide out somewhere and wait till things die down yeah you could totally hide we could do this without TLC that's the thing we would risk like going back we risk ourselves to get them and they're probably fine we could just probably pick them up later yeah could but I just feel weird going somewhere without TLC yeah mm-hmm okay oh I have an idea what if just I get captured what maybe that's a bad absolutely not okay we should go we should go yeah we should just go okay let's go we'll be back okay so you're just running into the woods yeah okay yes are you just like sprinting through the forest like trying to get away are you trying to like find a place to hide I think it would be kind of like a mad dash kind of situation yeah then yeah defy danger dexterity for all of us yeah for everybody seven seven eight seven eight okay so you just start barreling through the trees while tuck begins barreling through the trees yes being probably a little more gracefully and Billy patterning along on his tiny little legs you're getting smacked in the face by a variety of underbrush and low hanging tree branches but behind you you see like lights and voices in pursuit they are right on your tail being asked the trees let us pass friends part go ahead and roll defy danger wisdom oh seven okay you see the trees begin to part and the underbrush begins to pull away creating this nice furrow through the woods for you easing your passage picturing him speedwalking you know that really really fast speedwalking yeah totally and uh you look behind a lot of hips you look behind and you realize that the path through the wood is not closing behind you creating a pretty straight shot to where you are it backfired so I've got a ton of Is it still night?

I guess it's still night Yeah it's pretty late I'm going to use my last very child Oh And I'm going to create a convincing illusion Oh nice What is your convincing illusion? I would like it to be the three of us running in a different direction Basically Yeah Yeah Defy Danger Charisma 11 Sick So good So is it just like a one to one perfect Illusion of the three of you?

It's looking so good I imagine you gotta keep the illusions Around a little bit just long enough For people to like spot them So you take off and the illusory Versions of you kind of like Stand in place looking at your watch for a second Twiddling your thumbs Ving pulls out a newspaper And then you hear There they are And then your illusions take off into the woods And you hear Crash crash crash crash crash As the pursuing party that broke off Carries on following your illusions In a different direction into the woods And you have a moment to yourselves to think So where to?

I would like to use the Night moves Is that night?

Oh yeah To commune with the night sky and see where we need to end up being Nice A new move Yeah go ahead and roll it so it's 2d6 plus wisdom Come on big boon Oh yeah nice 12 12 Ooh So what do we think The situation is Now that we know the gibbous man is the god of the sky Do we think that Ving is talking to the gibbous man Or do we think that He is talking to like spirits of the sky I thought that he was using the stars More than anything Which like in the way that the druids used to Yeah that's what I was thinking So totally The space in between the sky Oh yeah using like reading the runes and stuff Yeah Like tealings Yeah Yeah that's cool Astro-mancy Cool name Cool name What if it kind of looks like They don't like necessarily talk to him But Ving can like see all the stars up in the sky And it'll kind of like ping like from star to star Like a little Like Like a path A path Like a google maps Yeah basically Yeah That only Ving can see I actually Yeah I do like that So it's less of like Here is a bird's eye view of the forest And more like a The stars get brighter in a line Yeah Of the map Oh cool Yeah They can become more luminous Yeah exactly So like as long as you are able to Get a look at The night sky While you're out here in the forest Like you will Not get lost basically You'll always have the opportunity to To figure out exactly where you are on your path The only obstacle in terms of Getting to the heart tree Is that the forest is pretty large If you're gonna be walking It's gonna take a long time We need to get one of those flying squirrels Oh I actually like that idea Yeah Please do that Please do that Please do that That'd be so fun How do we get one?

We just steal them from the corral that they're in Yeah they're chasing somebody else We can go back to the corral Yeah You also know that there are wild ones as well Oh we could charm a wild one Ooh Let's do that And then we can call ourselves the wild ones Charm a wild one I like this That's the name of our gang man We're the wild ones Okay there's only one way to find out Where the flying squirrels are Is by looking for all There it is A huge pile of shit Massive pile of shit Okay it's not gonna be quite That is a good spot to start Start tracking one Let's uh Let's Spout Lore about them maybe Oh that's great So we can learn We learn a bit more about them Ving will Spout Lore about the flying squirrels To find out if we can find them Five Ugh Uh so But Ving's gonna use his past From when he was a little boy in the forest So I get to use my wisdom Oh okay For sure he learned about all these animals Yeah so Give me a little A little memory of Ving interacting with these things As a youth When he was a kid he was very scared of them They were very unpredictable running around the forest Because he ran around the forest before he came into town And then he's like people ride them Right yeah So he thought they were insane The people riding them were crazy people Uh but he uh Found out that they are pretty Smart Yes they are smart yeah Very skittish They're more afraid of you than you are of them Right yeah And if you can't If you don't move they can't see you Like a Jurassic Park Yeah What if you don't move they can't see you They have a hard time because they're always flipping around That's why Oh I see They hunt bugs and bats Anything that's always moving Yeah Nice So what'd you get with your wisdom It was a seven Seven okay so Interesting but not useful Yeah on top of Your knowledge of them being a lot smarter Than you might think for a mount They're quite intelligent And And the fact that they can't see anything That's not actively moving Or they have a harder time tracking things That aren't moving You know that these things called tree gliders That's what they're generally called by elves Are nocturnal So they're out hunting right now And when they hunt they're high up in the trees So it would probably be pretty difficult To track one down right now unless you were to go High up into the tree cover These are huge trees Yeah We can probably climb a tree Yeah Or you could go and try and steal one of those trees Those are like your two options basically Or the harder option is go up in the trees And try and track down a wild one Or go back and try and steal one from the stables If we get one of the tame ones Then we can't call ourselves the wild ones Yeah exactly What's the point of being like little Like refugees of the forest If we can't be the wild ones You're right We're total fugitives now That's the word We gotta do Yeah Refugees of the forest But you know what Billy That was good trying a new word Thank you I really appreciate it Thank you Thank you I appreciate it I can remember like Perel Was teaching me a lot of new languages Oh right We still have Perel and Morris in the fanny pack Can we cut to them for a second Yeah they're just having like a nice Dinner They're just like Like that scene in The Last of Us It's a bonjour Yeah exactly Yeah exactly Yeah it's like Bill and Frank in The Last of Us Drinking a nice wine out of paper wine glasses Cute And eating like a little steak It's good It is good It is It is So you wanna go for like a swim after this We cut back to the forest And it's those guys Oh my god You hear like dogs barking Trying to climb a tree as fast as you can And you hear Tuck go Refugees are people that are displaced by a war or something Whereas a fugitive is someone On the run from the law So it's us most of the time But like how do we know that we're not also refugees at the same time Because we're being displaced all the time You know sometimes we wanna lay down They're like get out of here That's kind of like being a refugee I guess yeah we could also in that interpretation Say that we are refugees But honestly Billy I'm not totally comfortable with it Because it feels like there's a kind of stolen valor Aspect to it It's kind of punching down for some reason Is it really?

Billy's gonna think longer about the refugee situation The refugee situation Yeah Which is His platform That he's running on Yeah I gotta solve this I gotta solve this thing We gotta stop him from saying that in public He's talking about the refugee situation Cut back to like a day ago We're at a cafe somewhere And Billy's like I've just been trying to solve the refugee situation Yeah that was us at the all day breakfast Yeah I was talking to like a different waitress That she walked by And I was trying to explain that we're refugees And she was like I'm so sorry Yeah and I was like Oh I like that she feels sorry for us She gave me like extra milk And I was like So we've been actively dealing with Billy's lying For the last few weeks Yeah exactly So you guys are trying to climb up the trees Yes Just straight away from where you are Or do you walk for a while?

I thought we were running Like during this whole time Yes Okay yeah great So you run for a good long while Yeah And then you're like Oh we can't keep fucking running I'm gonna die if we have to keep running That's what Billy's thinking Yeah That's what Billy's thinking As Tuck is holding Yeah Oh my god All this bobbing up and down This is exhausting me He's getting so car sick My little boobies are bouncing so much They are bouncing Oh my god They're like Chafing against my little shirt My nipples are raw It's cause you guys won't let me go topless You're just You're not old enough to notice how cold you get I like that Billy gets like He starts like shivering and doesn't notice No I'm just scared or something Fine Yeah So then you're like He wants to find a big like chestnut Chestnut tree Something with big limbs that's easy to climb Yeah you find a nice big strong chestnut tree The trees in the boreal forest of course are enormous So is everybody gonna try and go up into the tree?

Is each of them like one of those massive redwoods That you see in like the state parks in California? Yeah Like 20 feet across kind of thing? I think a lot of them are Yeah And I mean it crowds out a lot of other stuff too Like a giant cathedral grove kind of Yeah But with flatter ground Yeah Yeah easier to run on Yeah Yeah!

Like all of the trees are like that Not just like the cedars Like it's everything is huge I like that the underbrush is like the size of our maple trees Like some of the huckleberries are like apple sized Yeah That's fun And then the fallen logs it's just like I don't know there's so many mushrooms and things growing off of them Oh yeah Oh Yeah You can run through it like Uh huh Riding my shoulders Right So there's a real like What's it called? The wanderers?

Is there like a Like your tiny It's like tiny The returners The borrowers Yeah The returners? That's what I wish they were right?

They're always the borrowers Yeah Never the returners So yeah as we run away from the city There's like starts to be a borrowers vibe Where we're going through like these giant like nurse logs Yeah And whatever I like that Yeah Yeah and you have a feeling that You're probably a couple hours away from sunrise But the tree gliders are still out hunting for a little bit longer I bet we can't hear the elves anymore though No you're basically alone All you hear are the sounds of the forest Cool Can I hear them hunting above me?

Do they make any sounds?

I think you would have to listen very closely I wonder if they're silent Yeah I think they fly silently Like owls Yes Yeah But you can tell that they're passing overhead Because other creatures stop making noise Yes And if the moon or stars are bright enough You just see like a bit of shadow Yeah I was thinking the shadows would be creepy too Like the stars get blocked out for a second Well yeah Because I said earlier the Ving is like Deafened almost He's like constantly being inundated Yeah Because this is Yeah His homeland of all the voices Because it's very familiar Yeah He speaks the language So yeah I like that idea that he's like Oh shit Like everyone's shutting up over there So he's able to follow the silence That is very cool That's very cool You're tracking it via the absence of sound Yeah That's really sick This is actually This is probably a pretty good illustration of like Why elves develop the hearing that they did Like their directional sound processing Is probably so much stronger than like the average human Oh yeah And we see like Ving's like elf ears are like Yeah Twitching and moving way more than they've ever done Gross And also cool Like a deer like Yeah like rotating Just a little bit I think a little bit of a flick Yeah Is that a thing that you like suppress most of the time So that you don't look weird Like a weird elf Sorry Tuck ass Is that a thing you try not to do because it's fucking gross Ving and Billy take a step back from Tuck The gang's getting more racist over time Man we have a lot of fun I've got to get out of elf country Look what it's doing to us Yeah I'm talking to refugees And then you're saying it's weird It's a weird ears Oh right Being around elves just makes you more racist Yeah But this like directional elf hearing Is helping you kind of figure out where the paths are intersecting There's a school of bats Feeding off dragonflies And so they're like Going around in circles Yeah Taking off the bats And this is like the first time We're seeing like Ving in his like natural habitat So like there's like a Almost lupine grace that he develops Like running through the forest Like he knows exactly where to step and stuff Yeah his other grace Like when you would be like Wow When we were McCall was like a practice martial art Because he was practicing so much This just is like second nature Like he's being blown with the wind It's like putting a piece of pie back into the whole pie And it fitting perfectly And then having sex with the pie And then yeah fucking the pie I know what you're talking about You know when you put a piece of pie back into a pie And you're like That pie's ready to get fucked I've spent months reconstructing this fuckable pie I've traveled across these lands Piece by piece and now it's my time People won't come to my Thanksgiving dinners anymore Because I keep going to their house And taking their leftover pie slices Saying I need this for a thing He's gonna have sex with it isn't he honey Yeah But yeah so you've discovered a location At the base of a towering chestnut tree That's a good place to be Yeah That you think is sort of like the epicenter Of a hunting ground for It's a big dead chestnut tree So that's the bats are living in the middle of it Oh yeah And the silence here tells you that there must be Tree gliders above Let's go up Yeah let's climb So everybody's climbing up Defy danger strength everybody Oh god I got a six I got ten Can I aid?

Yeah Yeah Billy's just Hugging the tree and he Can't like move Yeah Or he's like I'm so high off the ground I'm so scared If I let go That's it for me Yeah like tuck in Vig like forgot We had a kid for a second we started just like Hand over hand cliffhanger climbing Yeah And we looked down and Billy is like shaking You forgot Billy you forgot Billy It's not always my responsibility to carry him Just because he's here and I'm like oh my god He's usually in my beard doesn't mean you get to just not check I'm sorry I'm just scared because I forgot Billy I got an eight on the eight Okay so yeah the eight you're able to grab Billy And I guess the downside is that Billy is so scared That he just like latches onto your forearm Like a fucking like Oh gauntlet Yeah like a gauntlet And he's just gripped onto your arm He grips into it so tight and we haven't cut his nails in weeks You will not let him do that Let us And every week that goes by It gets scarier to try and cut those nails Because he keeps fighting us But yeah you know hand over hand arm over arm You climb up this giant dead chestnut tree Passing fissures in the bark And like knots and holes That suggest a great rich inner life Things that live off the decay of the forest Team within the trunk of this tree Oh shit Yeah There's a geocache in here There's a little piece of tupperware With a little notebook and a pen inside Let's open it It has a stale joint in here Oh halfling pipe weed Somebody left a keychain that says Ass, gas or grass Nobody rides for free I'm keeping that Dibs You put your name on the geocache And return it to its hole And continue climbing up the trunk And at the top of the tree You reach a point where the branches start to arc out For many feet Because the tree is so huge It creates this interwoven Sort of lattice work of branches Oh with like the rest of the trees?

That's cool Because the scale of the trees is so massive That they all kind of weave together near the top Oh so the canopy we can move amongst Pretty freely Yeah you might be able to Cool That's sick Because this tree is dead The deep dark night sky Hangs above you The stars lighting the way Wow And as you reach the top Before you even realize it's there Crouched Amongst the branches Is a giant sugar glider basically But they have big eyes They have big eyes Yeah instead of like flying squirrels They look more like sugar gliders Like the ones with the long tails And they have like big dark eyes And fluffy ears But it's like And it gets bigger and bigger And it gets bigger and bigger And it's like eating a bat Yeah It's got a bat in its mouth That's horrifying And then it like chomps back And it's like Who are you?

Who comes here to the realm of the trees? It is I the prince of the Boyo Reach I know not your kind You come to my home Where I hunt Where I feed Where I run Your home is my home We are but neighbors of the forest Allow us to ingratiate you with A gift When we hear him say Say that We all Rub a trickle Around our backpacks What the fuck? Just immediately like Oh my god again Yeah I mean like What do they think Of their Their brothers and sisters Being kept Being ridden by men?

That's a great question We are here to talk to you About freeing your kind From the clutches Of the elf rangers And the elf guard Who keep them hostage And use them as beasts of burden Many of my kind Have been taken by the elves And I'm not going to I'm not going to I'm not going to Their minds twisted Their forms Sullied by those Of the two walkers Tell them we're going to Take down the court of the woods We are here to destroy The car of the woods Court of the woods Car of the woods Carry of the woods Carry Underwood We're here to ruin Carry Underwood's career We're here to kill Carry Underwood We're going to give Jesus back the wheel Wait what'd you say?

I said well We're going to give Jesus back the wheel What? I don't get that reference That's a song called Jesus take the wheel Jesus take the wheel Take it from my head That's really fucking funny We're here to give Jesus back the wheel Yes Yes Take them down Free my people Yes We will This is what you offer?

We offer you freedom Of the forest To take down the court Of the woods Very well With prejudice We will destroy them Ah yes Let us go We will use their prejudice Against them Yes The way we do it The way that you're talking about it Makes it seem like It's not something That you want to do right now But maybe something later?

Because I want to do it right now Oh we do not have time For they are expecting us right now Oh Well then And he starts climbing up the tree Wait don't go And he stops and he turns Well can we just release Like Can we open a corral maybe? Like fly back with him And then like Release a bunch of these guys?

That would create chaos in the town Uh huh Make it harder for them to find us And we could escape on them I like it Yeah Yeah Wait don't go Okay I'm listening Let's make it happen right now Right now Let's free them Right now And he starts rubbing his little paws together Call upon your brother and sister's hood What do you call it? Your group of people? Oh The Uh um The Wait What's a group of squirrels called?

That's stupid I will call upon the scurry That's stupid I like it I like it I like it a lot That's really funny Scurry But really what we should like It's We can't just attack It would be too dangerous For my brothers and sisters To assault the elves En masse Perhaps a stealth mission Is more at hand We trust you You know the forest Like no other Climb aboard Can we all ride them? Can we all fit?

We'll see I've been working out You look pretty swole Thank you And I should say These things are really big So Hope Like Tuck is a massive person But you should be You should be alright Yeah it feels like They're about the size of like A highland cow And their Tuck could ride A highland cow Oh they're bigger than that They're bigger than a highland cow? Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah they're really big Are they bigger than a lowland cow?

They're bigger than a midland cow Oh my god Holy shit Um Yeah so hop aboard Thank you What is your name? My name is Clarence It's nice to meet you Clarence It is nice to meet you I thought you'd be a little nicer But I guess I get why you're mad I'm not Can I be honest with you? Yeah I'm just really scared right now Why?

Cause you guys climbed up in my tree And started asking me all these questions And there's nobody else here And my mom and dad are out And they're hunting And I just So you're just a baby That wasn't your real voice? Was that just a fake scary voice? I was trying to be scary Oh it was working This is the best This is the best This is a child that we're taking?

I mean I wouldn't say I'm a child No I'm this many He holds up his four fingered little paw Should we wait till your mom and dad get back?

No I can do No I can do this Me Clarence I'm definitely not grounded Hop Let's get on Let's go before my mom and dad get back They're gonna be so mad You're gonna be a fucking warrior You're gonna be celebrated As a freer of your people Clarence And then I'm gonna get to eat All the bats I want Yeah Onward And he starts like Jumping from trunk to trunk And you really gotta fucking hold on to this thing Oh my god They have loose skin Cause you can just grab it Like a handful of their loose skin Yeah Yeah it's definitely like There's a tradition amongst like Elven tree gliders Where like You can wear the harnesses And ride the saddles and stuff like that But riding bareback That's the way To really show your skills Oh yeah Tree gliding Is Ving good at this?

Oh yeah he's good at Riding all things bareback I shouldn't have What do you mean? No you're right No I mean like he was like He's You know he was never He would never dream of Wearing a condom It doesn't feel natural It's not the same What are you a sailor? Sailor? Yeah so I guess Somebody's gonna You're gonna have to hold on Hold on Hold on Dexterity How are you? Do we all have to do it?

Bareback Well we'll start with Sorry If you guys would let me finish My sentences Before you roll die Sorry That was an accident Okay Yeah I mean you didn't Throw it at me So that makes sense It shouldn't be over here Yeah we'll start with Ving's roll And then depending on how you do Then you could potentially provide Insight to the others Okay So what I'm gonna do is this Gets up there And like squishes in Folds it around his legs Scattered in his arms Like makes a saddle Out of the back Plus dexterity I think plus your wisdom Cause you're using like Your memory Nine To do this Nine Can we aid?

Oh yeah Depending on how you tell me You aid Cause you guys don't know How to do this Maybe Billy's just helping Push all the skin around Stupid Well I was thinking like Ving is basically Just putting himself Into a papoose Made out of this animal's skin So Billy knows how to Get into a papoose That's true So he's helping Ving like position himself Properly to like get Super extra snug In the papoose Yeah Yeah totally Alright 2d6 plus bond Billy's been worn as a baby Many times Uh huh Eleven Okay Holy shit Nice Billy is well and truly Papoosed And papoosing Ving Into the skin Leave enough skin For my arms And you're all You're all wrapped up In there Except for Tuck And Tuck like He just gets on the back He's like I'm pretty sure I know How to ride one of these Things guys And he holds like Loosely with one hand Yeah Like an absolute Dip shit dad That's never ridden a Harley And he's like I'm pretty sure I could Get on one of these things Just before he sends it Into an agape Ground pool Just revs it And then it shoots out From between his legs Alright Miami's So you're not Holding on tightly So it's not strength No it is It is strength He Ah you said loosely Constitution then Constitution I would accept To accept the absolute Power of the body Of battering I'm gonna get As this thing jumps From tree to tree Alright Like the extreme G force That it creates Yeah I bet you It won't last Eight seconds It's like It's like riding A mechanical bull Oh yeah 100% Uh so it's Nine Okay I'd like to aid Okay yeah Two to six Plus bond Just like wow What a man What a man What a man I got snake eyes Oh my god That's That's my bond Is three I'm too wedged in To you Oh yeah I'm using up Too much skin Oh yeah You've got all the skin Yeah so you're all Skinned up Ving and Billy Are kind of Safely enshrined In Clarence's Back skin And Tuck gets on the back And is like I've done this I used to ride Jet skis At Lake Tahoe And That's the vibe Yeah and Clarence Goes onward And his Powerful Fucking tree glider Legs like Shoot off Like a Spring And literally Seconds After leaving This branch Tuck catches A low hanging one Right in the forehead Just wham Roll a d6 Five Five damage As you're just Concussed By this branch But he's able to Hang on I guess Oh yeah No you're able to hang on For sure Like that is kind of the choice You can let go If you don't want to Take this damage But I'll take I have three armor That's like two damage I don't give a shit So you just take the branch Full on in the skull Yeah The branch breaks Yeah Tumbles to the ground Yeah but it breaks It breaks in front of me In a way where my head Keeps hitting it Every time the thing jumps It's like the branches Are wrapped up on your arm And the branch The wood part of it Just slapping you in the face It's like the opposite Of a helmet Is what it is It's The cosmic Antithesis Of the concept Of a helmet And yeah Clarence is like Leaping from branch to branch Zipping through the trees He runs like Trunk Jump Trunk Jump Leaps into the air Extends his arms And his flaps go And he glides Between a bunch of trees Threading the needle Top gun style So cool Wow And he is really Hauling ass And then he Turns back and goes Pretty cool huh Pretty sweet Very really pretty cool Check this out And he runs up The trunk of a tree And then like Leaps upside down Whoa Leaps off upside down Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa And then flips over And goes Don't worry I gotcha And he's running For a good long while Every time he does This stunt Tuck gets even more hurt Yeah He's like Hitting his face On the trunks of trees He's getting bark In his mouth He does a loop-deed loop And somehow punches himself In the face And then you realize That Clarence Has no idea Where he's going And he's just doing stunts Oh shit Um Yeah Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha Clarence We need to get to the compound Where is that?

Ah I've never Left That cops before Yeah Oh no God This gets so much worse Um Okay You just stole a baby Ha ha ha Um Okay so Yeah Ving rolls over And pulls back The flap Of skin above his head Like a moonroof And he's like Left right left Just tugging on him Pointing him Yeah And About 45 minutes later Because he is hauling Absolute ass You reach like A spot in the tree Where you start seeing The lights of vigil And you hear voices As The activity in the city Has kind of kept up Now that Three fugitives Have escaped Into the forest But uh Clarence stops Quite a distance From the city itself Is this Is this the place?

This is it Okay Then It's time To free My kin Can I um Use my binoculars To find the lake I guess it Would be like A stable That they keep them in Yeah totally Up in the trees I'd imagine too Oh yeah Yeah To certain realities Okay Seven Okay So you get one question One question I guess what here Is useful or valuable to me Yep So using your binoculars You Peek forward Through the canopy Clarence walks you A little bit closer Because like The branches were obscuring A lot of what you could see And making little sounds As if I'm zooming in Deep Deep Deep Deep Deep!

Deep?

Zip zip zip I can't even make sounds Doop doop doop Click click click Billy's making all these sounds Yeah totally Doop doop doop And if you two could see Through Billy's perspective You would realize that As he's making these noises And moving his hands He's seeing things At angles That should be impossible Oh Like he's seeing like Around trunks And shit And zooming in In full 3D Yeah He's like separated His brain Perception from his body Keeps zooming in On different like Pies on windowsills Yeah there's a There's an elf sitting there Eating like a bowl of stew I linger on that Oh that's nice Raking across the top of the trees And then seeing steam And then following the steam All the way down to something To a pie Yeah Cooling on a windowsill As a man in the top hat With the top punched out Creeps up to the windowsill No No Is that Oh god what's his name?

Illurio Yeah that's Illurio Yes Yes You see Illurio Tiptoeing up to a windowsill With a pie on it And he looks into the camera That is Billy's vision Puts his finger to his mouth Puts a piece of pie Back into the pie Yeah Oh my god Yeah I do like that he all Billy also like Just stared at Finn For like Yeah Oh yeah Yeah Stupid little idiot With his bowl cut I also like that he's like Sitting on the toilet And then he's like The side of his head And then he's just like Oh he's looking around Yeah Finn can feel like The heat of Billy's stare And he's like Someone I feel like I'm being watched right now I'm like of course you are You little turd lid And then you hear Finn go Mummy I think a fairy Is watching me in the bathroom Can you come in here And read to me Wipe my bottom mummy Right away Finn Gally all right But you do know that Finn is a fairy And he's like I do find High up in the canopy Like where the branches Start weaving together You see what looks like A bunch of Hammocks Made out of branches Grouped together But spreading out Over quite a distance And in some of those hammocks Are sleeping Large Tree gliders That way Good job Billy What Thanks So what But how do we get through unseen Just uh Oh Can you travel On top of the canopy Of the trees Oh yeah No that Yeah that makes way more sense Do these things have any kind of Camouflage or anything I mean like in the way that Squirrels and sugar gliders do Like their Their patterns Oh yeah I also bet that their tummies Are like black The night sky Yeah Interesting Yeah that is cool Maybe because We said that the stars are out Do they have little like Like dots Light dots Yeah That would be cute Oh that's pretty cute That's very cute That's adorable And then what's the top part like Like Oh would it just look like The canopy Oh yeah In case they got hunted From above It's kind of like Styrated like Like calico-ish Yeah Sort of There's like Criss-crossing lines On their back Creating like little Like patches Dots and patterns Yeah Like a canopy brindle Yeah Totally But yeah Now that we know So they've got black Stomachs with like Star-like dots on them And then they're sort of like Green and brown And black on the top Yeah So I'd like to go up Pretty high Into the sky Yeah And then come down I just wanted that moment Of a flying squirrel Oh yeah Sure Like a bigger thing In front of the moon Like the Batman But it's a flying squirrel Can we do that He makes a big leap Up above the The trees Oh yeah And it like It does like the pause At the arc of his jump As he spreads out The moon and stars Shining down on his Majestic form And then he dives Back into the canopy That was so cool That was so scary I thought I was gonna fall For sure That was sick Clarence I knew you could do it You've got the heart Of a warrior And the freedom Of a wild one Thank you Thank you I'm so excited right now And he starts like Crawling through The branches It gets a lot tighter up here So you kind of have to Duck close to his body And he pauses In the canopy Above Maybe like 20-30 feet Above where the hammocks are And you see A handful of snoozing Tree gliders And he goes Okay I can't get any closer Or they'll see me That's okay We could go down Mm-hmm Okay Tell me the names Of your Friends down there These ones I don't know They've been in servitude Too long What do you call those In servitude?

Uh The Carry Or Elf Elf bear Elf bears The nameless one The nameless Oh they remove their names Lost boys The lost boys The lost Yes The lost The lost boys They have No names They only know Servitude Oh no So sad What drives them To servitude? They are raised In captivity By the elves But can we spell Lower Yes The sugar Yeah 2d6 plus Intelligence I got an 8 8 So interesting But not useful So what do you What do you want to know?

Just like something So that we could Help with the uprising You know what I mean?

Like give us a little context Of how the elves Keep them there Why they're there Oh I see what you mean You would guess That it's like any Animal in captivity They're raised from Birth To be Like work animals Basically It's like It's not a I wish I was free It's like This is my master I love this guy Yeah And I'll go out with him And we'll go track down Fugitives Whenever he wants Oh so we might have to like Raise a frenzy Within them Like a A want To be free Hey Clarence Yes Can you use your scary voice To like Talk to them?

Oh oh yeah That's a good idea And tempt them to come back To the wilds Yeah Tell them stories Of freedom Yeah Tell them Oh all the Bats you eat But the The one thing Is I'm I'm really scared Of getting caught So can you go down there And make sure there's nobody there That's gonna see me? Done Okay I'm gonna wait here Okay let's go I have trap expert Yes you do Oh yeah Nice I think that would That would Okay let's do that Yeah I like that Okay Ten Hell yeah Sweet So Sean is there a trap here?

And if so what activates it? There is a trap here No In that On a nearby hammock Much smaller And it looks like It was woven More recently Is an elf Snoozing Oh jeez Amongst the tree gliders Okay what What does the trap do When activated? It wakes up Yeah If this guy Has woken up He will Shout for help Basically Does he have a little horn?

Uh yeah He's got a little horn Around his neck It's laying on his chest Cause he's got his hands Behind his head His feet are kicked up And he's like Okay what else Is hidden here? Um What else is hidden here Is On a nearby branch Is like a bunch of Hooks and straps That are Holding Like Harnesses And saddles Ooh Different gear for Tree gliding Okay Alright I got this guys And Tuck jumps Okay Where is Tuck aiming When he jumps? For the guy For the guy?

Okay He's gonna try to just like One punch him Okay Keep him asleep I was gonna use like A cool sneaky move Okay You just did You just jumped There's only one of them They still work Defy danger dexterity This poor stable boy Oh I love it Oh my god He's probably like a teen He's just a guy He's just fucking chilling Man He's dreaming about Like how much he loves This sugar glider Yeah he's just having A memory of Like he's having A dream of him like Just riding A sugar glider He's shirtless His hair is flowing And he's just Under the bridge Bright day sun His hands are Raking into the canopy Yeah Through the Gang like Little fistfuls of cloud Yeah Full slow-mo And in Tuck's head He's like This guy's probably A total piece of shit To these sugar gliders I'm gonna fucking kill this guy And then the guy's dream Changes to like A memory he has Of when he was like Doing charity for the town Yeah He's like He's working in the soup kitchen Ladling out food For disadvantaged elves And then when he got off His volunteer shift He came across A little homeless boy Who had a little leg injury And he's like Don't worry I'll bandage it up for you Yeah He took him in Helped him out Helped him find A home He has His dream shifts To another memory of him In the stables With like a pregnant Tree glider He's like And he's helping her Give birth This guy's probably Such a piece of shit And he holds the cub And he's Bonding with it They're imprinting On each other And then we see Dreams of him Like Raising this Tree glider To be a Noble It shows him With the tree mom Years later She's like Really old And like Scared And passing away And then he's Whispering something In her ear And then she like Calms Goes peacefully Smiles Yeah he probably Contributes to like Right wing Charities or something Probably told a piece of shit Alright 2d6 plus dexterity Duck can feel The world Yet like Metaphysically yelling Stop This is an Okay cut Don't do that Don't do that Ugh God I can't wait To punch this Piece of shit Uh So yeah Nine Okay Um I almost don't Want to help I was gonna say Ving aids But I don't want to No you guys Don't have to This took me Kind of an asshole So whatever bad Thing happens to him He deserves it I think the seven to nine Is that you land On this guy's Like tree hammock And You send A shock wave Through the branches Around you And The tree gliders Uh They start to stir Awake Oh But you've got this guy Right in front of you Ready to Accept a punch I I punch him I can slash No wait Just deal your damage He's asleep Yeah Yeah Okay And remember You never have to kill anybody You don't want to kill I don't want to kill this guy Dude It's enough for a sleeping Stable boy for sure Yeah I I get down there And I go to punch him And I see like This little This look This look of like Benevolence Yeah He's got a Pedro Pascal face Like he just never Done anyone harm I'm not as horny For Pedro Pascal As the rest of you guys are I feel like he has a bit Of a punchable face I like him fine Yeah I so disagree right now That is allowed I get down there That's a normal reaction This is gonna be the thing That like Tears the podcast apart Three years We're fighting on a mountain top I fucking quit I fucking quit That's it I'm not gonna do that I'm not gonna do that I'm not gonna do that I'm not gonna do that I'm not gonna do that I expect you to want to Fuck Pedro Pascal As much or more Than I do There's no way it's more Sorry But yeah he gets down there And he goes to punch him And he like lifts his face Into the moonlight And he sees Yeah a look of absolute Like benevolence And munificence And he's just like God I wanna hate you so bad I wish you were a man You were a piece of shit And his eyes open He goes And he sees you And he looks around He takes in the situation And sees the violence In your face And goes It's okay Wow Doug's heart breaks He takes D10 emotional damage You're actually rolling damage Seven Whoa Oh my god You just gave yourself Seven damage for no reason And I don't take armor No of course you don't Because this is emotional I don't know why you're doing this Because it's funny It'll be hilarious In two episodes When Tuck dies Because of the seven damage That he took Oh my god Can't die without a burning tree around That's what you think We're Oh Shit There are two deaths That happen In a man's life Mmhmm Once when he Breathes his last breath And twice when his name Is spoken for the last time Oh my That's making me sad I'm so sorry Yes That's so true Oh my god That's such a good thing I'm trying to set I'm trying to set the stakes I've never heard it There's a third death When his dick gets chopped off With the last person Whoever remembers The taste of his cum Passes away And the secret fourth death When he trips and falls In a septic tank Oh my god Yeah Tuck He leans in real close To this guy And he's like Do you love these tree gliders?

Yes Do you want them to be free? Yes And then Tuck leans in And he's like Then help us And he kisses him Join us wild one And Be a wild one And because of the attack You already performed on him The fervor with which you kiss him Slams his head back into the hammock And he goes Ow Sorry Just promise me this What? Let them live a good life And I'll be there And I'll be there Do you want to be free? I can't Someone like me?

No I have too many responsibilities here You have to You have but one responsibility Ving has Seen the commotion die down to a Laranga finger Eye It is eye And he looks He reaches up To the horn But he doesn't blow it But he reaches up And he grips the horn Blow it if you must Do your part But I know deep down In your heart That this part Of your heart Includes setting us free Let us go Let us be Why? Why did he rhyme?

He's different There was so much rhyming You must understand Mm-hmm I have to blow this horn But I don't have to blow it Right now We understand But I can't Let them think That you just took these from me No One of you Has Boom Ving pops him in the eye And he just Tumbles back Into the hammock And he is knocked out I prayed That one of you Was gonna do that Pop And he just Yeah Lands back in the hammock Knocked out And his tongue lolls out And he goes All right, sick Billy's been Hanging over One of the hammocks Of the little tree gliders And he's trying to do What Ving does Where he like Talks to the wood He's like Laranga We Ethereal Blah blah blah For context This is the same As a Canadian person Just saying that He's doing Like A Chinese Thing Like Towards elves If elves were real We would be in So much trouble We would be cancelled Right now Oh my god Billy just F***ed the tree Yeah I actively Did not say F*** So we can leave it In the podcast Yeah So we can cut that But I I'll believe it Am I not Allowed to do this No Of course They're not real And they're basically Nazis Yeah Okay All right So Billy's Being a fucking idiot Doing that Totally And the The tree glider That you're On top of I mean you're pretty small So everything seems big to you But you're like I think this one's bigger Than Clarence And it's because These ones are war gliders Oh And It wakes up Hi Identify yourself Is me Billy Of the What am I A friend of tree gliders And Fairy of the Of the Of the Endless boughs And You are not my rider Step back Step back please I want to I want to Sir step back I want to Be his friend He's a cop I want to be his friend Okay What do you How do you try to be his friend I mean do you have golden root You have a I do have golden root You have goo that makes people your friend Yeah I am gonna use golden root actually Okay And you're just gonna goop it on his paw Yeah I'm just gonna drip it into his mouth As he's talking Okay In that respect In that regard 2d6 plus dexterity I got eight Okay eight perfect So you Goop it into his mouth While he's telling you to back up So the The poison is gonna take effect But maybe it's cause I mean the poison Golden root usually works on like humanoids Right Yeah so I think you're You're buying yourself some time And he's not gonna like You know sound the alarm But he's like Who are you State your business My business is to free you So that you can Glide amongst the trees With your friends and your kinfolk Hmm Sounds suspect It sounds suspect But it's not It's a pretty good time Tuck in Ving you look over And Billy is talking to an enormous tree glider Saying it's a pretty good time And from our perspective We see the massive like talons And like their sharp teeth And we're like Okay Okay Okay Okay And we're like Do we have to give him his space But he does seem to be getting closer Oh he just reached out for his mouth According to tree glider regulations I am unable to leave the premises Without the accompaniment of a superior officer Okay but like think about it Deep down in your heart You're the superior officer Negatory Yes you don't belong carrying Like all these warriors and stuff like that I am a trained honed war machine No you know underneath all of that armor That you're just a little fuzzy wuzzy guy And you want to go fly around in the trees And go hunt bugs and bats And eat big berries off the bushes And I start like Yeah I use my little billow the wisp To basically paint a picture of what Clarence looked like And like the night sky Does he show him of Clarence in front of the moon Which we all thought looked really cool Yeah Yeah I definitely linger on that And I put like little details In your illusion you hear the How to train your dragon music Yeah Yeah!

Okay 2d6 plus charisma Six Oh eight Okay How are you aiding?

Maybe you add some wind in there Oh yeah I like that Yeah Ving brings up wind under him to feel the wind Without a rider and feel the wind underneath your wings To ripple his flaps So he can think about Do you remember what the air felt like Without an elf upon your back Okay 2d6 plus bond 8 Oh okay So 7 to 9 Yeah There's this like That's all his flaps are moving Sir don't you wish to be free of Of the shackles of your Of your whatever it's called I just point Oh the saddle I have sometimes Maybe he strokes the saddle scars on his underarm Yeah he's got like tight little Yeah little worn away patches on his fur From where the saddle sat for all Who knows how long I have often thought in my bunk After lights out What it would be like To be amongst the trees With my brothers and sisters Eating bats That's where you're meant to be That's where you're all meant to be But what is the role of a soldier if there is no war If a sword is hung on the wall Is it still a sword Or is it merely decoration in the lives of other people It's always a sword In fact swords on the wall are even cooler than swords in the hand A sword in the hand is worth two in the bush Exactly Whoa And Clarence climbs down And he's like Brother There is a darkness in the forest A corruption at the heart of the wood Our people are in danger We seek to cure that corruption We need soldiers like you To fight the wars that our people are unable to But we do not fight on behalf of the elves Fight on behalf of your kin Fight on behalf of me and the future I am just a baby Okay And then Duck and Baby are just like Oh fuck He's a very self-aware baby And one day when I'm a big boy I hope that I might serve our people As you have served these who do not appreciate you Flash forward This is the king of all sugar gliders Billy's got big tears in his eyes Slow clap As we're trying to stay stealthy So hot And uh The war glider turns around And looks at the others As they snooze They're still asleep They're still asleep They had a big day Well they give them They give them like Their feed knocks them out too There's some sort of like Control of it It is actually It's Cause like it is night And these ones are asleep Which is unnatural for a For a dragon Why They have to over Give them over like sugary stuff They like Yeah Sap Sap and honeys and syrups And everything oats Yeah And uh It turns to the other sleeping ones And goes Turn hut And they all like Rise to their feet And they salute They don't salute But they do the tree glider equivalent of a salute Which is they flap their little They flap their things And their tails go straight up in the air And he goes We are Mutinying And they all nod And they go Yes sir Mutiny sir And uh And one guy in the back is like Fuck yeah Finally Hell yeah Rebellion He's got a little mohawk He makes a Anarchy Fuck anarchy Bruce you were right Yeah A cry goes up Amongst the tree gliders Shut the fuck up And that is They are actually making a lot of noise Oh shit And to uh Anyone that doesn't have Connection to the spiritual tongues of nature Uh it sounds like Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah There's lights starting to turn on In the barracks Yeah Hereby I wanna use elemental mastery to Take their old saddles And the things that were Uh keeping them in servitude And uh And uh And uh And uh And uh And uh And uh And use those In with The bark and pieces of the wood To make them Armor made from the woods So that they can maintain their Soldier identity But now be free Wild ones of the woods Hell yeah I got Seven Okay As you Extend your hand Your influence Into the trees Lights do come on around Like you start hearing voices Elfin voices In the woods And uh The branches That surround you Move and fall And uh The branches That surround you move and flow up the war gliders armor runs down their backs goes up over their heads like creates little protection for their paws and their and their arms yeah the saddle that was on their back goes under their belly to protect their soft spot yeah all in a way that like weaves together so as to not obscure or mess with their uh their flight membranes and you hear the one in the front go soldiers we were and soldiers we will remain and we will wage war against the enemy and our oppressors for now we take to the trees but we will come back and we will get our revenge and they all go and they start climbing up the trees exploding in different directions and you hear a bunch of elves go what the fuck as these my word no johnson my favorite tree glider and then you hear the one with the mohawk go my name's hank my name's not fucking johnsy bro and uh there's pandemonium I jump on one at the back of one of them on the big boy yeah I'm the guy that you were talking to to get carried to safety yeah I put my hand out for a tree glider to take yeah and it is you are whoop swept up oh we forgot billy it's okay I jump on clarence yeah clarence is like let's go and you all astride your tree gliders take off into the canopy exploding up into the night sky branches pieces flying they broke through the canopy yes slow wreathing this mighty scurry you and your mounts are framed by the bright light of the moon and in the distance the saddle boy sounds his horn all right and that's where we're gonna end it for this week I'm your game master Shawn O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz so long playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers take care playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie bye everyone thank you to aaron reed for our intro and outro music you can find all of aaron's original music at aaronreed.bandcamp.com and all of the music that he's produced for the show at soundcloud.com uh thank you to all of our patreon supporters around the world if you want us to support the show and get access to bonus content like a whole Blades in the Dark slash world of blades campaign set in the high spear mall check us out at patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com money please and finally thank you most of all to you for listening see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly

Uh, if you like Spout Lore and you want to hear spelt more of it, go to Spout Lore.com slash money, please. Or patreon.com slash Spout Lore. Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight.

Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round friends and listen close. For the tale's about to start. And they set off to meet Dathaniel, the ranger king, on the borders of the Boreal Reach.

They made record time on the back of their powerful bird, landing for the night at an old summer camp frequented by Ving and other rich elf kids in his youth. At this camp they met Leaf, a sentry, a.k.a. A living tree, who Billy knew from his time in the wars. They spent a nice night reminiscing, chatting. Telling stories around the campfire. Until Billy terrified everybody with an old ghost story about the mausoleum. Man, that story came out of nowhere. And the death of a dark elf warrior.

Ending with the imagery of a burning mask being pulled from a fire and searing the face of its wearer. Guys, I'm so goth. So goth. You asked us if we want to basically put on a movie to fall asleep to and you put on Hereditary. I know. That is 100% what happened. I didn't expect it. I was like, well, this is where I'm going. Tuck spent a night on guard, not sleeping. Yeah. Due to the story that Billy told him that scared him way more than he was willing to admit. Yeah.

There's a lot of him just like walking around the camp being awake and then like doing that thing where like, here's a noise and he goes into a crouching position, puts both fists straight up in the air. Hello? I'm not scared. The morning came and the party set off along the borders of the Great Forest to go meet Dathaniel at the traditional location of the Winter Walk. And on the way, we had a little bit of a memory that Ving dove into regarding a play that he took part in.

Which is on par with a lot of our bonus content. Exactly. A lot of kids in plays. Recalling a scene that he had. With a young elf girl of lower noble standing than Ving. Named Wendy. Who he saw and had a crush on, it seems like, just before he was taken away. Her dad had the best restaurant in town. Tell me more about this restaurant. That Curly Fries. Nice. That's all you need to know. Wendy's got unlimited access to Curly Fries. We gotta get there with Wendy's. Have you been to Wendy's? Yeah.

Oh. Oh my god. I can't believe that I didn't get that. We arrived at the forest's edge. At the mouth of the Boreal Reach. Meeting Victor, the liar wolf. We met up with Dathaniel Wick. And he explained that he was going to take you into his lands as prisoners. The easiest way to get you all into the forest without too much suspicion. And that you would be taken into the forest by members of his own talon. Including Ving's old friend Wendy. Wendy. And that is where we find our heroes now.

You've all got bags on your heads. Well, Billy's in a bag, I think, probably. They couldn't find a bag small enough to just fit his head. He fits in a normal head bag. Yeah. His head is sticking out and his body is in the bag. He's in a body bag. Yeah. That's what I talked about. Yeah, absolutely. It's actually pretty nice to not have to walk anymore. And it's so nicely lined in this bag. So I'm all warm and cozy. You hear like a rumbling voice.

It's like, have you ever been in the great forest, little boy? Yes. Then you know of all the dangers that exist. Yeah, that's why I'm so happy to be safe in this little bag. What I'm trying to say is, shut up. And then Tuck, from where he hears someone say shut up to his kid, and he's like, hey, don't talk to my kid like that. We don't use that language in this house. You hear another voice. You guys can't see anything. You're being led blind down a trail. Yeah.

Ving keeps turning around and talking. And he's at the end of the line. Yeah. And he's yelling it back to where they came from. And Tuck has also turned around. He's yelling at the back of Ving's head. There are a few times that we've gotten into fights. Our pillow mouths are yelling at each other. Get out of my face. You get out of my face. And your breath smells like shit. Your breath smells like fucking shit. That's your own breath. That's your own breath.

Every once in a while, the whole convoy has to stop because Ving and I don't know we're fighting each other. We think we're fighting. Don't come at me, bro. You come at me, bro. For some reason, we don't recognize each other's voices on the other side of a bag. They have to pull you apart. We assume also the other person is fighting. So we're fighting each other. We're kicking each other with our hands tied behind our heads. And then Tuck goes, Ving, are you fighting someone too? I got him.

I'm holding him down. I got him fighting a skinny guy over here. This guy's ankles are bigger than my waist. Sounds like a real beefy boy. Yeah. Just hold him. I'm down. No, he's got me. He's holding me down. I can't help you. I'm holding this guy down. You hold me. I will as soon as I'm done holding this guy down. Meanwhile, Billy's just kicking his arms and legs in this bag, like trying to get out, trying to help. Oh, he's not trying to help. He's trying to get comfortable.

Like a dog turning a circle. Billy, you feel yourself like thumping against a back and you realize that you're basically, being carried like a backpack right now. Yeah. I'm burping a lot. Every time you do it, you hear. You guys have immediately these brand new characters that we've introduced and you've immediately annoyed them so much.

And after a good long time of you guys fighting each other and getting pulled apart and then 20 minutes later fighting each other again, you are like pushed down onto the ground. And you find yourselves like sitting on logs and rocks and you hear a fire start to crackle and you smell smoke. And then all your bags are taken off your heads and you're sitting around a campfire deep in the forest. Wendy is there warming her hands over the fire with a large muscular beaver cat at her feet.

Oh, she has a big intricately carved wooden braid keeper at the end of her braid. Oh, like a ring that's holding her braid together. Yeah, a braid ring. I like it. Describe her more. Describe below the neck. I feel like I've described her enough. But what about below the neck? Below the neck, she's wearing a green leather gherkin. Sure that's what it's called? She's got like, you know, leather pants on as they all do. Do they? Leather pants? Yeah, like leather breeches.

Not like tight leather Ricky Martin pants, but like leather armor breeches. No, one of them does. The youngest one does. His very first. Very tight leather pants. Very tight. And tears in the knees. That's the style amongst the. He's so cool. He thinks he's so cool. The large bearded hatchet man is like very stoically making like a bowl of like goo and powder.

The young elf that you saw earlier, his leather breeches are a lot tighter than everybody else's and there's holes in the knees and he's got two knives in his hands and he's standing on the edge and he's doing all these like. Complicated maneuvers going. Yeah. Yeah. And he's. Tuck narrows his eyes and like that's the motherfucker I was fighting earlier. For sure. There he is. Skinny little prick. Skinny one. I'm going to get you. At least I ripped his jeans. Yeah. Breath smells like shit. And.

That is my breath.

And the older elf who looks like he's probably older than Nathaniel, but for some reason seems to just be like a regular field ranger is like lighting a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, They're all really skinny He's the beefy guy Bing was like I recognize those ankles You're staring down the beefy guy And I'm staring down The skinny guy And the little soul And the beefy guy is sitting next to Billy Mixing this powder and water In like a wooden bowl Billy is He's kind of sniffing around Like a cat does Where you start scooping your head up And he's getting closer And Billy puts his little hands on the bowl And he's like what are you making Traveling porridge Ew I know what that is And he gives Billy a bowl With a spoon And Billy wraps his arms around the bowl And carries it away Just starts digging into the bowl with his bare hands It's so good This is usually so gross But it's so good Wendy is warming her hands over the fire Says it's uh Ranger traveling porridge Taurus doesn't say a lot But he's one of the best cooks in the Talon Tastes like gravy It is mostly gravy But elven gravy Which is of a higher quality than your disgusting human gravy I agree Yeah and Billy's got the bowl tipped up Emptying it And the large man whose name is Taurus Goes around and makes little bowls for everybody And hands them out And Tug and Vance are like Tug and Vance are like Tug and Vance are like Tug and Vance are like Tug and Vance are like Billy tries to crawl into it The bowl is definitely too small for Billy But he's like I'm so happy We once found him at the bottom of a bread bowl of chili They finish their porridge And uh They all look at each other silently And do some sort of like ranger signal with their hands And uh Taurus the large guy Nesh the young guy And Lysander the old guy All pick up their bows and walk off into the woods They're gonna scout Set up a perimeter Oh cool That's what that hand signal meant?

Yeah They call it shorthand Do not give away the secrets of the ranger corps To these outsiders And then Tuck goes what does this one mean He does his scissoring He did the scissoring He's doing uh two fingers And two fingers Jamming together Like a scissoring You know the symbol for the Two fang pincer maneuver I'm kind of a big fan of the two fang pincer maneuvers He was doing that before I met him I hope you know I did teach him this though Okay alright yes Paul is doing a finger in a looped finger The PNV The PNV maneuver or the PNBH maneuver Different speeds mean different things Ving I hope you understand the danger That you find yourself walking into In the court of the woods I think I know I think it's fine Wait what danger are you talking about Not the dangers of the forest Though those are many But the dangers in the heart of all elves The nobility Their grip tightens on the people Day after day And your father seems to be the only one With any inkling Of how to end things What's What's going on in the court of the woods Can I roll to figure out what's going on To ask her Can I charm her into To tell you what's going on in the court of the woods You can charm her by opening your mouth Saying some words And then putting a question mark at the end of them Okay Hey What's going on in the court of the woods What are the nobility doing What nobility always does Greed Ambition Jealousy Pride These things rot at the heart of elf culture And threaten to bring down The very pillars of our civilization Nathaniel said that The The trees The trees were being Uh poisoned or something Yes manipulated Poisoned Turned against the people Whose laws They lived by for millennia So as the trees wither so do the people Indeed I hope that you can help us Fing I mean I don't know if I can do anything but I We seem to be effective as a team And effective I mean Some other word That means that things get done But we don't really know how to And not really effective But Like we affect things I see yes Now I understand fully But we're not effective as a team But things get affected So wait You're not effective as a team Oh well sometimes we are And then sometimes we're not My confidence wavers A lot of stuff happens close to us Things will be different after we get there Yes That is for sure That is a guarantee That's a very good idea That's a great guarantee That's a very Succinct Summary of what We do Probably is gonna happen We guarantee you that after we leave Things will be different She nods solemnly Very well What happened to your accent?

A long time has passed since last you walked these woods Fing I really want her to call you a longer version of Fing Oh yeah It keeps every time somebody an elf says it It feels like Fing is short for something I like it What would it be?

Fing-a-ling-a-ding-dong Okay done One and done Fing-a-ling-a-ding-dong it is Rid of the gate Nailed it Fing-la-dry-a-la-thor-yat Fing-lando-bloom Fing-landry-all-cal-ree-sion Fing-bacca Fing-landry-all Fing-what-was Fing-what-is-to-come Fing-what-is-to-come And things that have not yet come to pass Fing pray love Or Fing could be at the end That's easier True yeah Cause I also think that Wendy is short for something too Yeah exactly I was thinking Wendladry-all-carry-sion Wendlorian-ah I was honestly thinking like Wendelliar Oh fuck yeah Yeah yeah yeah Great Fing can say that back Oh yeah it's kind of a snarky thing Oh not bad Wendelliar-ding-dong I do like the idea that Fing is at the end is at the end of a name.

Laron Garving. I like the L sounds. They're really funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Laron Garving. Laron Garving. Laron Garving is kind of pretty good. Laron Garving? Yeah. Great. You like it? Yeah, I like all of them. It will be canon. Great. This is going to be a canonical name for Ving. Laron Garving. Laron Garving. Laron Garving. You have to say it with the breath. Laron Garving. Laron Garving. Why Ving changes because you can never say it. There's a lot of A's in that.

She says, it has been long since you have walked these woods. Laron Garving. It's been a long time since I've gone by that name. That's your name? That's my name. Laron Garving. You nailed it. I start waving a stick around like I'm doing a spell. Laron Garving. Laron Garving. Laron Garving. Laron Garving. It is an honor to walk by your side, Prince Laron Garving. Okay. Can we all bow? Can I call you Larry for short? You cannot call me Larry for short. Wendell-ing-gar. I'm trying.

Oh, Wendell-y-ary or something like that? Yeah. Well, I mean, whatever I say in Mike happens to be canon. I'm sorry. You're true. What did you say? Wendell-y-ar-gar. Wendell-y-ar-gar. Sorry, for it to be canon, you have to say it twice. The same. Wendell-y-ay-ay. Wendell-y-ar-gar. Wendell-y-ary. Wendell-y-ar-y-ay. Wendell-y-ar-y-ay. I haven't done it twice yet. Wendell-y-ar-y-ay. Wendell-y-ar-y-ay. Wendell-y-ar-y-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay. He's doing this and Wendy's like, you've forgotten.

You have forgotten. You have forgotten. Been away too long, you have forgotten. My tongue no longer makes the sounds of the forest. It is a sad thing to see. The blood, the sap of the trees, has flowed from your veins, replaced with the soft, watery blood of the man-world. Well, that's very elvish of you. You've been in the woods too long. You know not of the great, wandering, green, gray, blue, black. Perhaps not. But we are among the trees now, Larangarvinga. I forgot your name.

We are among the trees now, Larangarvinga. I feel like I laugh every time she says this. Bing's like, shut up. You know what? I don't hate it anymore. Lavar Larvinga. You can't even say it. Larangarvinga. There you go. You got it. You got it. This feels like… We're bullying Paul Koozie. He's bad at saying complicated setting words. No, it's a complicated… I couldn't say keychain. Small words of harm. I love that. I'm glad that dyslexia is so funny to you people. I'm sorry.

Whoa, what do you mean you people? You know what I mean by that. He's talking to us. Just the two of us. Yeah, all of us. Just the three of you. I think it is time that you and your friends took some rest for tomorrow. We enter the court of your father. If you're tired, you take rest. We'll do what we do. I need not sleep. I will take this watch and then my talon and I will switch off until the sun rises upon the trees. But you must sleep. And then Bing does the symbol for…

What am I looking at right here? What do you mean? This is a little man. Little legs. It's like a sock puppet mouth. And then underneath is two legs. And a swing and ding dong. There's a dick in between. Oh, just one leg? Just one leg. Okay. This is the symbol for the night watch. She nods. Forever. Very solemnly. To the sky. And she puts two hands together. Flips her middle fingers on either side. Spins them. And then twiddles the middle fingers back and forth. And Bing says, not now.

You have forgotten the signs. I have forgotten the signs. Please rest. You will need your strength. For on the morrow, you will be prisoners. Wendy. It is nice to see you. It is nice to see you. I also enjoyed seeing you, Wendy. She gets up and walks away. Easy, big fella. Into the trees. And the beaver cat, Shadowpaw, pads up and growls at Tuck. And walks into the forest. Fucking breath smells like shit. I definitely fought that cat. I fought that cat. That's a skinny little cat.

Do you all go to sleep or do you do anything else? You're kind of alone around this fire right now. But you can definitely guarantee that you're being watched. Billy's pretty awake after all those nutrients. I think I too will take watch. Billy, why are you talking like that? Because I just want to impress them. Okay. They speak so eloquently. Fart, Billy Angelina. Billy, what's your real name? Is that my real name? That's your elven name, Billy. That's canon now. My name starts with fart? Fart.

Oh, fart. Fart. Fart, Billy. I love when we're just like, we're not even going to try and come up with actual words in elvish. We're just going to go . Wow, that was pretty good. Domino's Pizza. Tuck did that a couple of times during the walk. He's like, I'm going to go get some pizza. I'm going to go get some pizza. I'm going to go get some pizza. I'm going to go get some pizza. I'm going to go get some pizza. I remember during the walk at the big guy and he punched me in the stomach so hard.

Because it was offensive. Disrespecting the language. Yeah. I mean this is an opportunity for you guys to kind of talk about what's going on. Or you can just go to sleep and we can. No, no. Yeah. Let's talk about what's going on. So what do I know? Let's spell lower about what we know about the core of the woods. From his memory. Mm-hmm. So things that might help us. Yeah, totally. Like where they stay or what the structures look like. Something. Something. Something. Something. Something.

Something. Something. What the political situation was Or what you've heard on the road Kind of thing So you wouldn't have heard anything on the road That's the one thing They're very insular But I mean if we want to learn more about Your father's seat basically Like the capital of the Boreal Reach That could be what the Spout Lore is about This can be your plus wisdom Holy shit I got 14 You get to ask three questions No not with Spout Lore Not what it is at all Were we in season 10?

Yes Oh I'd like to partially with talk about What is going on? You're doing Spout Lore Did you see his move? No he rolled He doesn't get to choose his move He rolled Yeah and now with his success He chooses his move It was such a critical success You could choose anything from this piece of gear It doesn't even matter what he's doing We're a team So what do you want to know?

You could choose You could choose anything You could choose stuff from other game systems With that high roll Oh my god Okay so yeah let's talk about The capital of the Boreal Reach Didn't we talk about it being in the trees? Like just Yes Right?

Yes Like giant giant trees Huge Size of a skyscraper Wow All these like cool like branches Like weave around each other and stuff Like bridges and stuff connecting trees Yes And I think like the structure is in the bridges But also inside of the trunk Mmhmm Yes Yeah Yeah because the trees are really big So they grow Like over the millennia There's been like Like structures grown into the trees And this style of trees Like in Arbutus In the way that the outside's the alive part So you can hollow the inside And the tree is still alive Oh Interesting Aren't there these like wood weavers or whatever?

Those like guys that kind of like Manipulate Manipulate the element of wood Uh huh Kind of but they kind of like work with the trees Yeah It's less like Like who manipulate the trees Yes like they learn to like grow Like communicate with them And grow them in directions Totally Yeah I guess a lot of the elf stuff There are a lot of gardeners And nursery type people Yeah A lot of that kind of crew Yeah it's very slow and deliberate work Totally Uh huh It gets passed down like One project will be like three generations Totally Yeah Like in the old days Where they'd build a church for 300 years Yeah Yeah This is like a basket Yeah I think that's a good idea I think the Warden or whatever Of the Of like the Boreal Reach The capital is called Vigil Oh like the capital city?

Yeah like that This collection of trees and buildings Is called Vigil That's really cool Vigil was grown Like the first tree of Vigil sprouted When the world was new Yeah Like this is an ancient ancient forest Tens of thousands of years old Are they like tunnel systems? Uh yeah I think maybe the structures go down into the earth Like through the trunks Through the roots?

Through the roots Yeah Yeah Storage down there Like root cellars type things maybe Yeah Dungeons Unless their prisons are actually hanging From like the top Oh like That's right It's harder to escape Yeah And they can keep an eye on you easier Yeah Yeah It's like hanging cages and stuff like that Yeah Almost like a gibbet Kind of thing And uh Yeah like There's one Large tree that is The king's like full palace Like the whole tree is For staff And for rooms for your family It's where you can It's where your rooms used to be And where ostensibly your father's court is But he doesn't spend a lot of time there So the city of vigil is a bunch of these huge trees then Yeah Connected by bridges and Cool And what not So that is That is that Spout Lore But if you guys have any other Roles you want to do Or information you want to glean Uh I'm trying to find a Do I have a move that Nothing that would apply to this I don't think Legends of guitar heroes past gods Histories of the grand war I have that Yeah Yeah Do you think Tuck knows a lot about guitar heroes?

Do you think Tuck knows a lot about elf history?

I think yeah There are a lot of stuff that's written into songs Okay Yeah totally All the elven music is like opera Oh yeah Tuck was dating a girl for a couple weeks That was really into opera So he was sitting through a lot of it A lot of elf music But there was a lot of him like sitting in In like operas Just like clenching his hands Being like this is so long Can I use bardic lore Histories of the grand world To understand the history of the grand world To understand what the Political structure of The elven Royalty is Yeah So what you remember from these very Elaborate And theatrical elven operas Which are honestly mostly about Political intrigue and like forbidden romance There are five Territories in the forest And each territory has A ruling family Dathaniel is the ruling member of the Boreal Reach And all of the other territories are All collectively together They make up the court of the forest Okay It seems that each territory has like their main knowledge tree That is sort of the source of law And information for their people And then all of those trees Supposedly take their cues From a tree at the center of the forest Which is the one that you have been Tasked with curing Quote unquote Any other questions Like lightning in a bottle Do I have to like touch the person I think so yeah Because it's something that you're like plucking out Of immaterial to material Can I do it without them knowing Uh yeah if you do like a sneaky move Before that Oh okay I want to do that to Wendy Okay Because she was being all like suspicious About how the court is different than one thing remembered And Billy wants to get a little bit of a glimpse Into what that looks like Okay yeah so you saw the direction Wendy's like pretty nearby Yeah But uh roll a defy danger dexterity To kind of creep up on her Twelve Okay yeah Describe this scene Um Billy goes on all fours Very gently And he walks around like all the fallen dry leaves So that he doesn't make a sound And you see the outline of Wendy Like kind of stepping through the woods And you see Shadowpaw behind her Like creeping through the forest Also on all fours Because she is an actual animal And you're a boy that wants to be an animal apparently And you come to her and you're like Creep right up And you're right up on Wendy As she whispers something And the cat pads off And she leans against a tree trunk And like lowers herself down to the ground And pulls a little sheet of bark And starts writing on it with a piece of charcoal But she is still and alone for a moment Okay Um she's sitting in the light of the moon So it's casting a shadow And Billy's creeping up to collect some of the shadow Oh cool That's sick Okay lightning in a bottle Okay That's so cool Okay Please Thirteen Wow So we get So this is just playing out like in the shadow in the moonlight Yeah it's a little shadow play Yeah On the ground I'm just sitting there like Doing my little squat like watching Uh so you see this scene play out You see the shadow of a little elf girl And her family And they own a restaurant And they're making food for all of the elf people I really linger on the food I'm like oh what are they making Can you try and zoom in Uh huh Do like a little iPad kid Like watching Watching cartoons Yeah you zoom in and it's uh There's curly fries There's burgers with square patties Uh there's kind of like a malted Like Chocolatey frosted drink Kind of like a milkshake But like a little bit worse than a milkshake But everybody keeps coming back for them And they're like I don't know why I like these Can we go to Wendy's after this I would not mind going to Wendy's after this Sorry carry on They're just making food for people And then a bunch of people are like oh my god I'm gonna go to Wendy's after this And then a very fancy elf In very fancy clothes With uh some sort of badge Marking them as a representative of a noble Comes by And holds out a hand Like beckoning And a bag of coins Or a bag of whatever elf currency is What is elf currency do we think Just coins Sorry the dumb thing I thought was Bag of leaves for sure Maybe their coins are leaf shaped Oh that would be cool Yeah But it's definitely not a bag of leaves No It's definitely not a bag of leaves It looks like a bag of leaves Like a maple leaf Holy mackerel that's fifty dollars Uh huh And then you see the shadows like The little girl shadow gets a little bit bigger And the other shadows get a little bit older And the hand comes and gives coins And then one day The hand comes and holds it out And the dad shadow's like no no And then We see a shadow in a court There's somebody on a throne Like pointing down at the family And then the parents are thrown in cages And the rest of the family is like What's going on And the restaurant says closed forever And then the little girl elf is angry And then she next scene Cuts to her with like a bow and armor Out in the woods like shooting It's like a Mulan montage Exactly She cuts her hair with a sword Yeah she cuts her hair right off next to a pond She sees her reflection She doesn't recognize it Let's get down to business To reclaim my buns What?

Wow That was amazing Pretty good The last scene you see is like Elf with bow standing on a hill Raised a fist in anger And all of the nobles Underneath Fun And then the shadows Float away Yeah and Billy runs back And Tuck and Vinger just around the fire You guys still awake?

Yeah I'm Tuck and Vinger And I'm like okay if you don't want me to You know make any moves on Wendy I totally understand I just don't think it's up to me But also I mean For some reason it makes me uncomfortable Okay I will not But please If you think that she likes you No I don't think so either That's Okay That's not what I was saying I was saying it didn't matter Because I wasn't gonna do it If she liked me or not But Okay It's good to know What your perspective is on it That uh That hurt my feelings But that's fine Oh My perspective is Right now I'm not going to do it Right now I don't have that much perspective On that angle Okay Uh And then uh Tuck is like But uh Maybe more pertinently How are you doing with all the dad stuff That's been happening?

This was the secondary thing I guess Uh huh Gotta broach the important stuff up top Yeah At the beginning of the conversation Tuck was just like Okay I got two important things to ask you First Is it cool if I ask Wendy out? And then second How are you doing with Are you dating with me? With your dad?

I think in a lot of the same way It's kind of hard to think about Right at this moment But I feel like I'm not sure how to feel about it But I feel Like I'll be shown How to feel about it Does that make sense?

Yeah Through our actions And through his actions And seeing what Is about to happen Will let me know Where him and I stand Right now I'm Pretty confused Yeah He Super fucked up Huge Like with you and your mom Yeah Yeah And Like it seems like it wasn't A hundred percent his fault But he made a bunch of big mistakes I know he's struggling Which Will only take empathy so far but Yeah A reason is not an excuse Exactly Well Whatever You end up having to do Uh huh I will Hold him down While you do it That actually means a lot Thank you Billy emerges from the bushes Hi guys Hey Hey I tell them what I saw Mm-hmm Whoa Shit So Wendy's family is in prison then?

Yeah And you can't get curly fries At the court anymore Damn it I'm sorry Bill I really talked those up on the way here I know It's okay But I can see why Wendy's mad And see why all the rangers want This Fixed Fixed Or revenge Or whatever they want Mm-hmm The uppers have too much control And as you're all sitting here Sitting around this fire talking You hear a Movement in the leaves And the large Hulking elf Taurus Is standing there And he points at all of you And he points at his eyes And he points at a bedroll And then turns around And goes back into the trees Okay Yeah I go to bed Billy goes to sleep By choice And not because he was told to Is uh Is Vic here?

He Has been in the trees Oh He has been invisible Oh smart Cool Cause I mean in this forest He's going to be extra Unseeable Okay cool And you've got your fanny pack Morrison Pirella Just cruising in the fanny pack We gotta keep that hidden though Mm-hmm Ving has it under his shirt So he's just like Oh Like after dinner He was like Oh Patting it Like it's his little belly Oh I need to Keep an eye on that Uh-huh Cut to next morning And uh They don't put the hoods back on you But they do put like Ropes around your wrists And uh I guess Taurus carries Billy still Cause once you put ropes around Billy's wrists Or around his ankles His mobility goes to zero Yeah And he's like a cat That you put a little Band around their waist Yeah He'll fall over Or a lobster you put on its face So Taurus has Billy over his shoulder Like a fisherman Carrying his catch Uh-huh And uh In the light of day The boreal reach Like this area of the forest Is so beautiful The trees are like Towering The snow dapples everything And light is like Glittering through the canopy Mm You travel for most of the morning And then you hear Halt there travelers And through the trees You see big shapes like Jumping from log to log Whoa And thump Right into the path in front of you Two elves Astride These big creatures That have like Big furry heads With little ears And like big dark eyes They're They look like Giant flying squirrels Whoa And then you hear Uh Are standing before you Cool So one of the riders Stands up in his saddle And says Who goes there?

And Wendy Does like a little ranger sign With her hand And says We have prisoners here To deliver to the court Upon behalf of King Dathaniel I'll report to the high court That the prisoners have arrived Welcome back to Vigil Rangers Hi-yah!

And they Jump up into the trees And jump away You're Brought down this path And uh About an hour later You emerge You see above you Vigil Bridges connecting Massive skyscraper sized Trees Windows kind of Grown into them Buildings grown Off the side And uh Ving you would notice That you see a lot of people On the bridges And poking out of the windows Like looking down at you As you walk in Almost like you were Expected by everybody In the city Like shops are closed Yeah And you see a lot of Different clothing styles That you're like Oh not all these people Are from the Boreal Reach Like these are people From other territories That have come here And you're paraded down This path on the ground Is it silent As we go down it Or is it like There's a lot of like Talking High above A lot of people are like Oh Prince Laraminga Oh Companions Outsiders Trespassers All that kind of stuff There's kids running Beside us Poking us with sticks And they're like Oh my god Oh yeah Yeah like some people Are throwing pine cones I'm catching them And trying to throw them back Trying to throw them back hard Like roll Try and throw them back Yeah Yeah Roll a volley If that's okay It's a 12 Okay Sick I knock out a whole kid A whole kid Just one full kid Gets like an elf kid Gets a pine cone He's got such a little Douchey like Bowl cut I hate him so much So much Yeah He's a real And he's Oh My boy Mommy Mommy That dirty little boy Threw a pine cone At me mommy Yeah and I'll throw another one Mother And he's like Clutching his mother But he's glaring at you And you know you've made an enemy As we're walking Like When they Chain Tuck up Because he's so huge They put him in like Stockades And he Is like Really playing up The idiot Barbarian thing As he's being brought in Where he's just like Doing like Non-committal grunting And he's like Ah Ah And he sees the Kid that Billy Threw that pine cone at And he's just like Ah Mommy And the big guy Is like Holding me on a rope On the end of a leash Kind of thing Yeah totally Tuck is walking him For a minute Whoa Whoa Are we in like Cages or what?

You're in an elevator Because you're being brought in On like the ground Like the forest floor Okay And so you're like Okay You're loaded into a cage Made out of living sticks And everybody rides up Like you can hear it start Like creak It doesn't sound like It's any machine It sounds like This part of the tree Was just Raised To be an elevator Basically And you come out Of the elevator Onto a platform In front of Your father's palace tree Yeah The architecture Woven into Generations of wood growth And Hanging up In the branches Are the cages That you're to be Kept in You see like Nobles Of all kinds From the territories Very elaborately Dressed And you're all Hustled To a cage You're like Ropes are cut And Billy is removed From his Little fishing bag Thing And you're all Pushed into this thing And raised up On a rope And this Busy body Goes Before you You see Prince Laranvinga Of the Boreal Reach Now a prisoner And a traitor And a traitor And his two companions The barbarians From lands unknown And we And we We both go Shake the cage I start chewing On the bark Of the cage Ving has pulled All of his crazy hair Over in front of his face Except for one eye And he's just Kind of like Yeah We're all pointed up He took smeared shit All over himself You smell like your breath And he continues The so called Spirit walker Is a spirit walker Now a trespasser And a traitor To his people Will face trial In the grand tradition Of the elves In the court of the wood At sunrise tomorrow We will reconvene But for now The prisoners Must be shunned In the ancient tradition Turn your backs And walk away And tonight We feast It's like the thing That always throw a big party Because they got the bad guys Yeah And you see all of these people Ving a long time ago This would really hurt you To see all of these people To see all of these elves Turn their backs on you Yeah And walk away But I turned my backs on them Long ago But they don't Oh I see I thought you meant now And then I turn my back And I'm like yeah Are they looking?

Are they looking?

Yeah No they're not looking They don't look pissed They're not noticing Wait we should all Turn our backs on them And then yell back At them that we're Also turning our backs We're also turning our backs And you hear Mommy I have to look I have to see If he's turning his back That dirty little boy And I have to see My back is so turned Oh my god The little boy looks back And is shunned And he Oh no mommy He's shunned me mommy I told you not to look Fithathomalaya One more time Fithathomalaya Oh You got it twice in a row Fuck I gotta write that down Fithathomalaya And you are left alone In this cage And you have To just stand there As you hear This raucous feast A lot of old school Like lute music Going on And you have To stand in the distance And Billy is looking At him wistfully Like I didn't know We were going to have To actually stay in the cage And they aren't sending up Any of the feast Let me out He went from acting Like a maniac To becoming a maniac And you hear From a cage nearby Hanging near you Yeah it sucks Pretty bad don't it It sure does This ain't the first feast I've had my back turned on for How many feasts Have you missed Oh probably 90 91 I've been in this cage A long time What did you do I built the cages I built the cages So good even I Couldn't escape From my own cages That is a real shame sir Yeah thank you Thank you And he looks like Jafar When Jafar is pretending To be a prisoner With like Really crooked old man With a long beard And elf ears And he's bald Crazy yellow teeth My name's Illiro And I reach my little arm out I can't quite reach No but he just kind of Waves his hand In the direction of your hand So Prince eh Ving You can call me Ving Alright you call me Ill Ill Aye Traitor huh I'm a traitor Too kinda Cool What did you trade I traded Lower quality wood When I said it was Higher quality wood Yeah a little bit Of tasty fraud That's a good grift Yeah Sold a bunch of Tree gliders Yeah And they were Of substandard stock Uh oh Those are those Squirrel things Yeah those are the Big old squirrels That run around And fly in the trees Beautiful creatures Beautiful creatures Not the one I sold He was ugly as shit He was a cow He was a cow That I put a tarp on And I said it was His wing membranes I did sell it To a person Who was visually impaired And I do feel bad About that I do feel bad Cause the first time He tried to get That cow to jump Out of a tree It was a dead cow A disaster Oh my god They say elves can't die In their homeland But woo wee You drop a cow on them From very high up And they are dead They'll die They will die If you don't mind me Do they say that elves Can't die in their homeland?

Well remember we Talked about it last time Where it's like It doesn't really happen Like they live so long Right? Yeah And that's why These rangers Like they kind of go wild After a while Uh huh I like that they don't die In their homeland But they can be killed Yeah Yeah!

Yes Okay yeah Well Settle in Cause those smells They're gonna get Your stomachs Roiling Do they have to do that On purpose Like aim the smoke At us Like aim all the smells Our way I'm sorry That's tradition It's part of the tradition Come from a cruel society Elves are so big On unity And pride In your culture And your people That the greatest Punishment of all Is being cast out We look down At the banquet And it's got a real Last supper vibe Cause everybody's sitting On the same side of the table So they can face away From us Oh that's so funny And they're shuffling sideways So they don't look at us Even the musicians That are playing Are facing away From everybody else Which is part of the tradition Because they're playing To the forest So yeah You've got some time To just vibe in this thing Or we can cut to night time Ooh can I use my New move Wild wander And see if there's Anything of use Or food In this cage In this tree Cool Interesting Yes There's some lichens Hanging here They're delicious We are near all the foliage Yeah So wild wanderer When you are in a new Environment You can just ask me A question About useful plants Or animals in the area And I will tell you Is there anything That I can make A little mini feast For us Here To share with our friend If by mini feast You mean Barely a bite of food Yeah Yeah Pretty much everything Is a mini feast Really Really The wood that like These cages is made out of Is very Vital Oh Like it's very Full of life So little Mushrooms and mosses And lichens Do grow on this wood And Ving would know That this stuff is edible If not Kind of gross Oh Oh I can make it tasty Ooh That's true Nice You could Okay so I'm gonna Strip down some of these bars Mmhmm Peel back some of the bark And there's some This delicious Cambian layer Mmhmm Like toffee Tree toffee Ooh Lay it out Billy Is this a switcheroo?

I guess it's A switcheroo Okay Oh I'm gonna steal stuff From the feast I'm looking at that Shitty kids plate Oh I love this Yes Fila far far Yeah Whatever his name is Ving get the grossest stuff Like that bug right there No Yeah That stink bug?

Yeah Oh god Okay Let's pile it up Alright Switcheroo Switcheroo Which I believe is 2d6 plus charisma I scraped some of the shit That Tuck had Smeared all over his face Oh no 2 You wrap it around a stick Like a little lollipop Yeah Great Like a kabaga turds It was It was It was Wendy's beaver cat Shit Oh yeah So they're all like In little turdlets Oh That's not good 6 Aid Okay How?

Well he's aiding me By pulling all the stuff down Yeah Yes And also I put Billy Up onto the top of the cage Oh To give him A better look At this kid's food Alright 2d6 plus bond Oh wow 7 Okay Just made it So 7 Means that you It only switches For a little while Enough for him To take a couple bites Yeah basically You got a couple seconds To just shove it in your mouth Okay You focus really hard Holding this little pile Of sticks And shit And a stink bug And you look At the kid's food Who I've decided Philo Fafroar Whatever his name is Just like Finn And you Swap out Finn's food For your pile of shit And sticks And a bug What food do you get?

It's probably a lot of Roasted root vegetables Stuff inside Especially this time of year Yeah Like aromatic leaf herbs Yeah A lot of herbs Like dolmade Or whatever Like things wrapped in plants Yeah there's a nut sauce Oh Oh Keeping it together There's a Yeah nut sauce Creamy nut sauce I can't say it like that What? What? Okay This tuck's saying this What?

It's like a It's like a thick Creamy nut sauce Yeah Handmade Yeah All on these Shapely gourds Yeah On these small potatoes Cool Why do you keep looking At me like that? Nothing And then Big fried plantain Oh Nothing And And!

And but you don't keep control and you see more elves going oh my word because the stink bug goes yeah and it's spread and this the the stink bugs like spray yeah starts switching with things so like food is kind of like hopping all over the table and tastes like shit and everything stinks this is literally the best thing that could have happened weird food fight yeah yeah and a whole table of elves is like oh you're disgusting am I wearing the bags the bags and they turn around and face us because they're so disgusted they're trying to get away from the bad smells yeah and we turn around and face our back so yeah and chuck like lifts his loincloth and tucks his dick and balls between his legs so they see the whole thing you're giving him the full billy gum I'm giving him the fruit bowl my friends nice and while our backs are turned we're shoveling the good food in our back and we're like oh my god Yeah, totally.

And they're like, they are just, oh my word, all these absolute barbarians. And Ill is just like, that's what you get, you stodgy old fucks. You know, you're all right. You're all three of you, all right. If you're traitors, dang it, I want to be a traitor more. Well, you're pretty cool yourself, Ill. Hey, thanks a lot. I throw him a few more potatoes. Oh, potatoes, all right. And I give him, ooh, my love and lust. He takes the book, looks at it. I can't read. You can't read?

Well, I can't read this. Oh, you can't read Common? No. Okay. But the pictures, they'll do just fine. Well, actually, okay, here. Nope, I'll be right back. Wait, wait. Oh, God. He turns his back. No, he's disrespecting us by not letting us watch him jerk off. Even in elf culture, if you respect somebody, you let them see you do everything. Everything. Yeah. No, and I was like, Ill, Ill, Ill. Wait, wait, wait. All right, all right. Okay, hold on.

Wait, I will read this to you and then give you the book so you can look at the pictures forever. But I want a piece of information about if you know a way to get out of this cage or sneak through this palace or something. Oh, yeah. He is the cage maker. Yeah. Parlay. Okay. 2D6 plus charisma? Yeah, 2D6 plus charisma. That's three and I have a charisma of three, so that's six. Oh, aid. Oh, aid. Oh. Oh, aid. Oh. Oh. Yeah. I will aid.

And sweet talking with promises of, I know that we look like we're prisoners like you, but we have come here with a deeper, darker, more free purpose. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You help us, we'll help you. Mm-hmm. 10. 10. Information, eh? And a deeper, darker purpose of some kind. I like the sounds of that, but here. If I'm going to agree to help you out for that there picture book, I'm going to need a little taste right now. Of the picture book or of- Yeah, I want to, give me a scene.

Should we just open the book to like one of the- No, we have to act it out to her. You have to act it out. Because that was Tuck's thing. He's like, I'll read the book to you and then you can look at the pictures. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Before we get to any juicy bits, we have to give him some options. Billy sits in the corner. He's seen this show before. Yeah. And we're like earmuffs, Billy. Yeah.

It's adult stuff. Pulls his hood down. The record. Yeah. I do imagine Billy covering his ears and just seeing Tuck being like, oh, and then. You got to describe it as an audio video. Just like fist in the hole. Yeah, fisting. Fist in the hole. And then a lot of thrusting. Being like, he could be doing anything. He's talking about fighting. Billy's got his own narrative in his head. And it's like, he stuffs the turkey. It's full of sage and parsley and thyme.

And then he's forcing it into the oven. But it's too small because the turkey is so big and juicy. You could tell how big and juicy it is from how many times he's licking his fingers. And then he eats the stuffing right out of the back of the turkey because that's where all the best stuff is. Looks like he's seeing if the seasoning is right by smelling his fingers. Oh. Oh. All the stuffing got all over his face. But he seems really happy about it. He seems really like it.

He's really mashing the stuffing into his face and chest. It looks like Ving ate too much because he's falling asleep. They are falling asleep together now, which is nice because turkey does make you sleepy. And then you cut to us. Uh-huh. And Tuck goes, Cathilda takes the turkey out of the oven and it's perfectly ripe, even though it was too big for the oven and she had to force it in really hard. Mordana knew.

Mordana knew that he couldn't eat all the stuffing out of the turkey because there was still the stuff in the pot, but it's too hot when it came out. So he had to blow on it back and forth, shaking his head vigorously to blow as much as he could. And Ill is just clapping along. All right. This is a beautiful story. That's exactly what I needed in my time of trouble. Give me that book. And then they fuck hard in the ass. All right. Don't spoil it. Everything. I like a slow burn kind of erotica.

Give me the book. This was the end of you chose. Yeah, I'm glad. Hand it over. I give it to him. Turn to page 44 if they fucking the P. Turn to page 45 if they fucking the B. Turn to page 92 if they fucking the V. All right. So what is it you want to know? Billy, take your earmuffs off. Yeah. What's a good way to move through the palace unnoticed? Especially at night. Especially at night. Let old Illyoro tell you a little something.

I know how all these guards move, but I also know a little something about the trees themselves. See, what you might not understand about this, especially you two outsiders, is all them trees, they still alive. And if you know how to talk to them, you can get them to help you out now and then. Uh-oh. I've missed 91 feasts. Do you think I spent? I've spent all that time in this cage. Uh-oh. And he like puts his mouth up to the bars and whispers. And one of the bars like flows up and away.

Oh, shit. Where do you go then? Oh, I just go fuck about. You don't have to come back, you know. Yeah, but you know you spend enough time on the inside. Maybe you don't like what outside the cage looks like. Plus I got caught once and it was ugly. Yeah. Okay. Well, how do we do that? Ving does it. What does Ving say? I mean, I just talked to the tree, right? Oh, right. Yeah. You can just talk to the trees. Oh, you can do thing talker. I can do thing talker, world talker.

I mean, but we don't need to go anywhere right now, do we? Or is this the time? Whenever everyone's freaking out, they're just looking at us. It doesn't seem. Probably not the best time. Yeah. But we know for, okay, good. We'll hang tight and wait for everyone to finish the feast and get out of here. Yeah. So. So. Night falls. The party's broken up. They've all gone back to their accommodations being very, even the people that went into the palace kind of like walked sideways.

So they didn't have to face you. Yeah. But it's pretty quiet around here now. Not for Ving. Like he's home in his homeland. So the voices of everything are so familiar. They're flooding him at all times. Like he's very full of everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Like the voices of the forest and stuff. And there's so many different organisms. Cool. The biodiversity is very loud. Yeah. You hear like birds and mammals like chittering in the trees. Like the bugs in the air. It's like a party in his head. Yeah.

Yeah. And you're waiting around being like, okay, time for something to happen. But nobody comes to get you for a long time. And you reach a point where like you either keep waiting or you do something on your own. I will just, I'll talk to the side of the tree and make a hole in the side and we'll climb. And then we'll come up and go down the main trunk. Okay. Make sure we all know. Defying your wisdom, I guess. Yeah. Uh, eight. Eight. Okay. So seven to nine.

Ving, uh, holds the bars gently and then whispers into the tree. Hey tree, how are you now? We'd like to get out of this cave. If you open up your branch and let us pass down to your trunk, trunk, trunk, trunk, trunk, trunk, trunk. And the bottom opens up. The bottom opens up. The bottom opens up. You guys are dropped right 200 feet to the ground. Yeah. Ill is like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, oh wait, no. And this, all the, all the branches. Yeah. Yeah. And then the branches on the bottom go.

What do you do? Tuck grabs for one of the branches so he doesn't fall. Yeah. Ving grabs for Billy's hand. Yeah. And I grab for Ving's hand. Okay. Defy danger dexterity for everybody. I also grab for Ving so that they don't fall too. Seven. Eight. Seven. Okay. So mixed successes for everybody. Yeah. I think the mixed successes are that Tuck has grabbed onto a bar. Ving has grabbed onto Tuck and Billy has grabbed onto Ving. Like none of you are stable. Yeah. And you're just wobbling.

You're just sitting there in the air. Okay. I will climb up Ving and up Tuck. Back on top of the branches. Yeah. Give me a defy danger dexterity again. Seven. Okay. Great. It is slow going. Okay. You're basically like, hey, you're really hoping that like a guard doesn't walk by as you slowly creep up Ving and Tuck, but you get on top of the branches and now you're kind of sitting on top of the cage. Okay. Okay. Okay. Can Tuck try and lift Ving up and like put him up top? Yeah. Okay.

To fight in your strength. 13. Yeah. That'll do it for both of you. You've got. I'm just going to try and lift you up and you throw me up. Whoa. Yeah. You toss Ving right up on top of the cage and then you're able to muscle yourself up there too. Cool. Yeah. And now you're settled. Back on the cage basically. Well, but like on top of it where it's connected. So now you're kind of free to move about. So is the cage like hanging? Can we climb up the rope? Yeah. Yeah.

You could hang up the, yeah, the strands to the branch that it's hanging on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You could hang up the, yeah, the strands to the branch that it's attached to. And what is the goal right now? We're going to climb down the trunk in secret and try to make our way to the tree. Oh, the, yeah, we'll go to the, you mean the tree of wisdom? Yes. The tree of knowledge. Yeah. Because someone was supposed to come get us. Yeah. So something might've gone wrong. Mm-hmm .

So instead of doing a bunch of defy dangers as you climb along this tree, give me a discern realities, and we'll sort of describe the path as you walk along. Who's the most vigilant right now? Ving. Yeah, sure. I got 10. 10. So three questions off the list. Okay. Let's all pick one. What here is not what it appears to be? You are, like you climb up the, like the rope attached to the branch and start climbing back down the palace tree.

And as you're passing windows, like dropping from window to window, climbing down, you see a bunch of people moving about inside the tree. And it's not that everybody has gone through the same process, but it's not that everybody has gone through the same process. And it's not that everybody has gone through the same process. It's that they've been in the same process for a long time. And it's not that everybody has gone through the same process.

It's that they've been in the same process for a long time. And as you're passing windows, like dropping from window to window, climbing down, you see a bunch of people moving about inside the tree. And it's not that everybody has gone to bed. It's that there appears to be a meeting happening that you were unaware of. Ooh. With who? Like court members. Oh. Can we listen? You'd have to get inside the palace probably. Fuck. I mean, I could do a little like fairy child to listen.

If you like ghosted in or something? Yeah, if I like ghosty in. Yeah. That's great. Like shadow dance in there? That is what I will do. Okay. So I will spend one of my fairy child. I have three left. And I'll roll wisdom to enter the fairy world. Oh. What does it matter? I got a five. Oh, fuck. Yeah. You try and- I'm going to turn a failed roll into a seven to nine. Sick. So that I have one fairy child left. Okay. Which means that you can only, you get one hold or whatever in here? One hold.

Okay. So you take a turn to do something. Yeah, I get one hold. You enter the fairy. You become the shadow boy. And I think much like Hibernia was, the great forest is a bit more high def- Yeah. Than other parts of the world- Oh, cool. In the fairy and you flip through the window and kind of follow the trail of people and interaction and communication to a throne room.

You see who you assume to be dathaniel sitting on a very simple throne made of wood surrounded by figures that have the absolute shithead quality of all those nobles that you saw sitting around the tables ignoring you and they are yelling like this is a travesty dathaniel to bring these trespassers here they sully our lands to hell with tradition they should be executed now and there's like a bunch of shouting and yelling dathaniel stands up and says enough I will not be ordered about in my own court and another noble with like a warrior with him is like if you will not take action then we will and they turn and they start stomping out of the room and you back on your thread yeah I tell you guys what I heard oh shit so they're probably going back to the cage room to kill us okay let's get down quickly yeah let's get the fuck out of here yeah so you still have two more questions yeah did they leave me with my axe just out of curiosity oh no they would have taken your weapon son of a bitch no yeah that they you're a prisoner but they left you with your giant magic axe like fuck can we ask then what is about to happen uh what is about to happen is billy you felt like through the fairy the intent of those nobles that were like we'll take action if you won't okay they are absolutely going to try and go right now to execute you so what is about to happen is they're going to find out that you're not there but they won't know where you are right away yeah so you do have time but clock is a ticking okay what here is useful or valuable I think because I'm using this discern realities to describe the path of your escape you're like oh fuck we gotta go so instead of being like gently climbing down you're like falling a bunch down the trees mostly tuck that's mostly tuck is falling yeah and uh ving is very gently like ding ding ding yeah and uh tuck is mostly just like and you get to the floor the forest floor and ving you know the way to the knowledge tree that is kept in your father's court you know that there's like there's a path from the palace that the court has used for a long time but considering you're about to be pursued it's probably best stay off that path for sure so you lead tuck billy and ving through side paths through the forest you remember a lot of the time you're like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die a lot of side paths that used to exist when this was a well-tended well-taking it's all overgrown yeah gnarly brush thickety kind of yeah there's plants you don't recognize there's a lot of brambles there's some plants that I saw in in like other parts of the world that were never here before yeah things that are like choking out the plant life in the area a lot of the trees have lots of ivy on them and stuff like yeah so it takes you a longer than you expected to get to the clearing but you do arrive at the clearing and you're like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die at the clearing of the knowledge tree there are some stones overgrown that used to have sharp carvings on them millennia ago that have since worn away surrounding this wide clearing that again you remember being clear when you were younger but there's a lot of shoots and weeds that have crept up over the intervening decades and let's describe this knowledge tree I think much like the boreal trees around it's this one's probably like the one that's been around for a long time and it's like a fir tree so it's tall proud has the needles higher up a beautiful like pure pine fir sap scent is in the air and this tree is in front of you with runes grown into the bark the pines are golden yeah oh yeah golden needles oh cool yeah is the tree pretty lush no ving you remember this being a much healthier tree it looks like you could follow the glow back yeah but now it's like struggling it still has some needles but it definitely looks like something is wrong I'm just thinking like we have to hide I guess but this might be your only opportunity to like really examine the tree yeah I'm gonna really do my best focused reading so what uh certain realities yeah discern realities again sure and yeah while you guys study I'm gonna keep watch and then fight off anyone that comes yeah seven so that is one question off the list I guess what here's not what it appears to be so bill you're like rushing around the base of this tree trying to feel it as a fairy of hibernia you're very familiar with the knowledge trees and you feel like you put your hands on it and you kind of like focus into the feeling of this tree and you get a brief glimpse of this network that spreads across the forest yeah and I get the sense the tree is very suspicious yes the tree is extremely like wary it's very wary all the trees are actually and that's why they're so suspicious yeah I'm gonna keep watching this and I'm gonna they've crept apart and you follow like you see this almost in your head like a map of like the root networks following back to the very center of the forest and like the core tree that you've been sent to deal with and you feel an intrusion in the tree itself and your focus pulls in to the very center of the heart tree at the middle of the forest and you sense something that you have sensed before a small piece of night black obsidian oh And that's where we're going to edit for this week.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long. Playing La Ravine Gahara. Goddamn. The half-elf, Truid, Paul Loppers. Bye. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye. Thank you to Aaron Reid for our intro and outro music. You can hear all of the music that Aaron has produced for the show, written by Abdul and myself, including the hot new single, The Stalwart Son. Oh, yeah. At our SoundCloud, Spellore SoundCloud.

Look it up. And you can find all of Aaron's original music at aaronreid.bandcamp.com. Thank you to all of our Patreon supporters around the world supporting the show. And most of all, thank you to you for listening. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of Adventures Three, who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be, for time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution.

Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I'd gladly spell. Oh. Oh.

Spout Lore is brought to you by listeners like yourself. If you want to check out more stuff or give us a support, go to www.p-a-t. I'll start over. It sounds like a fucking Alta Vista ad. Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing.

Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight. Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best in bread. They may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara.

Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. All right, playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Well, no, I… Okay, fine. Playing fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. What did I miss? No, I… No, Abdul just didn't say anything. Oh. He took a deep breath and then looked away from me. I will say hi to everyone on behalf of everyone. Nice. When last we left our heroes, a confrontation between Ving and his father, Dathaniel, the ranger king.

Things were tense off the bat. Dathaniel was not happy to be meeting his son at the mouth of a wizard's tower. So he asked him to join him at a cave further away. I mean, what dad would be? To find his kid in a wizard's tower again. Yeah, right? Oh, my God. You can't drag him out of these places. So Ving went to this cave, which appeared to be some sort of ancient neutral meeting place from long ago. Mm-hmm.

Ving went into the cave, spoke to his father, had a very tense conversation, during which Dathaniel unexpectedly made a plea to him. Mm-hmm. To help him. And in doing so, complete his gesh. To destroy the ranger king, Dathaniel proposed that Ving aid him in taking down the court of the woods in its entirety, destroying the title of the ranger king, freeing Ving of his gesh, and also getting revenge on the organization that Dathaniel sees as being the reason for his torment.

That torment coming in the form of some confessions about the nature of the relationship between Dathaniel and Ileana and Dathaniel's feelings for Ving.

That confession taking the form of a vision that Ving got from a moonstone he threw into the fire, using his new advanced move, Night Moves, in which he communes with the spirits of the sky, seeing a battle at Hibernia through the eyes of Dathaniel, a pitched, terrible, bloody conflict that ended with Ileana in her polar bear form falling upon a spear wielded by Dathaniel in… An instinctual defense.

And Dathaniel's attempt to end his life in the conflict before being saved and forced to carry on. We returned to the fanny pack, but we came back to the party making a breakfast slash picnic for everybody upon their return, including a very parental interaction between Billy and Tuck as Billy attempted to pour granola. And for all intents and purposes… Baseball game. In the outdoor area, quote unquote outdoor area of the fanny palace.

Ving returned, explained the situation after some contentious argumentative conversation between Tuck and Ving. Everybody agreed that helping Ving help his father and completing his gash takes priority. Maggie said, all right, think I'm done here. I'm not here to take down a government that I am not involved in. So she's going to go… I'm not here to take down a government that I am not involved in. So she's going to go… I'm not here to take down a government that I am not involved in.

So she's going to go and put some feelers out and see if she can't gather some help for what she sees as dark times coming. And the party mounted their individual Thunderbirds and took off into the skies. Here is where we find our heroes now, is on the back of Cloudpiercer, coursing through the air towards the Boreal Reach, which is a paltry distance to Cloudpiercer. You will get there in less than a day for sure. Okay. How's everybody feeling on the back of this bird? Right now?

Billy is like, kind of like a frozen shape of himself. Like all the wind and moisture up in the sky is just frozen across over him. It's just kind of two spots for his eyeballs and two for his nostrils. Perfect. We're bad parents. There's down everywhere. We could have done something. We're basically riding an Arcteryx jacket. I do like the idea of… Idea that there is a bird in Cloudpiercer's army called Arcteryx. Oh, I love that. He's the fluffiest one. He's the fluffiest, warmest one.

And he is impossible to talk to. He's so arrogant. He's so arrogant. Pretentious. Hello, I am Arcteryx. You know, down is really the warmest kind of feather. That's why I still have all my down. Because it's warm, not because I haven't shed it yet. How are Tuck and Ving feeling? Tuck feels good. He's not cold or anything. He's just Tuck. For sure. He knows where we're going and who we're going to fight. That's all he really needs. Right, that's a good point. He's got a target.

He knows that this is going to get Ving out of his gash. That's good. Yeah. And also the Gibbous Man is out there and trying to destroy the world. So that is a big thing that, you know what? We'll deal with it. We'll deal with it when it happens. Exactly. How's Ving? Ving feels considerably light. Oh. The confrontation was building for many, many years. And here he is dealing with that in some sort of form. So he doesn't really know how to feel, but he knows it's the right way to deal with it.

Yeah, that makes sense. You know, it's like, yeah, there's some uncertainty has been stripped away, so it's less like oh my god, what's going on with my life? Yeah. Yeah. It feels good to some things happen. He's a little doesn't know what this core of the woods thing is going to look like, but that's never stopped us from doing. We're going to do what we do. We're going to chaos and good and chaos. Chaos our way out of this. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah.

So yeah, you guys have a deadline of you're supposed to be there in two days, but what do we or do we want to do a perilous journey to sort of see what's between here and there? Or do we just want to go to the forest? And say two days pass you camp for a day and meet to Daniel. Yeah, I think I want to do a camp. I think that's fun. Yeah. Where do people want to make camp? There's an old what we call a winter camp.

There's an old winter camp outside of the Boreal Reach like a winter camp, like a camp, like a campground. Yeah. Okay. So fun. Like a day camp. I don't know if they still use it, but they don't use it this time of year. It's like for the rich kids who would be in the court. They would go out there when the parents were still working, but they weren't in school. Okay. Awesome. Okay. Winter camp. Winter camp. Okay. So we're going to a winter camp.

You give Cloudpiercer some directions to where you remember this place being. Yeah. And a few hours later you see like you're approaching where the Great Forest is. So now it's you just see it stretching far into the distance. You see the Boreal Reach, all the like towering pine trees and firs that creep up over the mountains.

You're high enough to that you can see the biomes in the forest change into the different like regions, the different groups of trees and the different kinds and areas of the forest. And at the very edge of this huge tree line, there's like a lake and clustered around one side of the lake. You see snow capped buildings. That must be this camp that Ving talked about. And Cloudpiercer does a big arc. So you take a look at the camp to make sure that everything's okay.

You want to roll to certain realities? Yeah. I think so. Yeah. To make sure no one's around. Yeah. 2d6 plus wisdom. Okay. 13. Jesus Christ. Wow. Yeah, you remember this camp. Yep. No problem. Ving lost his virginity at this camp. Oh yeah. I lost my virginity twice at this camp. What should I be on the lookout for? You from this height and Cloudpiercer also looking. He's got like his eye pointed sideways as he's flying. Yeah. And he says, there doesn't appear to be any footsteps Ving.

I think that the camp is empty. What here's not what it appears to be. You're not so sure because there are many things in the north in a wide open tundra camouflages key. So you see a tree that you're like that tree does not belong. It's old but it wasn't there before. Yeah. And as you're looking at it, it kind of shakes and a bunch of snow falls out of the branches like it's like it looks like if you could hear the tree, it would go and all the snow falls out of it.

What happened here recently? So treants are a thing in fantasy RPGs. They're kind of like let's not break the Tolkien IP and it is a living tree. Let's talk about these things. Jerry spelled Laura on them. Yeah, let's roll to D6 plus intelligence for spelt Laura thing. You probably know them. I guess or Billy Billy. You are a tree. That's a good point. I forgot. And you were like the tree max. Like I feel like you're. Yeah, I guess. It's like tree seven. Okay, seven.

So interesting but not useful based on our world so far. I think that the treants or we can come up with a better name for them too. I don't think they're technically actually trees because I think a tree that has come alive is maybe just beyond the current state of the world. It's like a fairy or something different or it's like yeah, it's like a sentient being that more looks like a tree than it is a tree that has become a person.

What if they're really really really really really old knowledge trees that gain sentience through getting being injected all this knowledge of humans and people and culture. I mean maybe yeah, it is a tree that over time has like become so imbued with knowledge that it became more sentient and is like I'm gonna go walk around. What if these tree ants are the trees that surround a ritual spot like century almost like they guard us a sacred spot.

Yeah, I guess it's like the trees from a sacred spot over the generations where like stuff happens. They gain sentience from that. Yeah, cool. Maybe that Arbutus on Hibernia was a sentient tree. Yeah, totally. Yeah, and it'd be kind of cool if they don't move that often. Yeah, but occasionally because they are connected by like the root system. Sometimes they want to take like a vacation in a way. So that's what Billy's saying. He's like probably just wanted to get away from like all the noise.

It's a nice lake. And he's probably enjoying the sounds of the wind. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, I actually I like the name centuries. Yeah, it's like a century century. Yeah, totally. So what happened here recently as Billy is like, oh, he probably just wanted to vacation is sometime in the last 40 to 50 years. This tree like wandered out of the forest and just came to sit next to the lake. So it's probably safe. You don't know. You know that these things aren't super dangerous.

They're not really fast to be a threat in any way. And Tuck is like, okay, just as long as that tree doesn't catch fire. I think I'm fine. Can we go not near that tree? So I guess we just don't build the campfire around that tree. Yeah, we're not going to build a campfire when we go down there, right? Because I don't want to maybe accidentally set a fire on this tree by accident. I'm sitting in the front kind of like cradled between Ving and I turn around so you can see my snowy face.

I'm like, why can't we have a fire? Oh my God. Oh my God. I reach around and I put him between us. You said not to let go of Cloudpiercer. We didn't know you were so cold though. Wear one of these and Ving takes off one of the pair of mittens he's wearing. You've had extra gloves the whole time. I'm going to kill you, Lloyd. Yeah, so you guys land. Cloudpiercer sets down at the camp and there's a collection of like, what do elven constructions look like? Aren't they very tree-y, like organic?

Yeah, maybe it's more like the trees around the lake have been grown over time into like… A lot of willow structures. Yeah. Living structures. Yeah, places that are in raised roots creating little things and then trees that have been grown up and into roofs. And you set down and the tree, the sentry, you hear it just like, creak as it turns to look at all of you. Hello, old timer. Hello. Do you mind if we stay? Doesn't bother me. What's your name?

My name's Leaf and I'm just kinda taking in the sights, thank you very much. It's nice this time of year. I'm glad you didn't come in the winter. Can be very depressing. This isn't the winter? What? That is… I have to come clean right away. That's a joke I stole from Eurotrip. So funny. It's good you came to Bratislava in the summer. In the winter, it can be very depressing. So funny. When they go to Bratislava in Eastern Europe and it's like a miserable, terrifying place.

Like, is there a train here? Yes, there is a train. They are building it now. It's one of my favorite characters in any movie. You're American? I love America. Hey man, Miami Vice, number one new show. Can this be the tree? He could have this voice. Oh, that's so funny. That's pretty fun. Let's do that. Okay, yeah. My name is Leaf. Welcome to camp. It's a nice time of year. It's good you didn't come during winter. Very depressing. Where are you coming from? We came from further north.

I don't know. You might know this because you're super old, probably. I am super old, yes. It's true. You know a wizard named Addernack Allwater? His name does not ring a bell. Okay, well we were at their tower. It was a tower. You know that giant well of magic water way up north? Oh, the good water. The good water, yes. The champagne of waters. Technically it's only champagne water from Champagne Rison of France. Otherwise it's just sparkling magic.

Yes, I am not familiar with tower, but yeah, I remember good water. Okay, yeah, that's where we were up at the good water. Do you have any good water? I do, actually. Hey, you mind sharing with Leif? Oh my god, if he like picks a root up out of the ground just like a little elephant trunk. Oh yeah. Yeah, just let him sip out of one of my bandoliers. Isn't this the water that Perel puked out? Tuck. It's still water. It's still good.

He reached like a root comes out of the ground and snakes towards you like a little elephant trunk and dips into the vial. Holy shit. Baby! That is the stuff. Love it. We are new friends. Best friend. My name is Leif and your name is what? Ving. Ving, nice to meet you. Ving. I'm Tuck. Hey, Tuck. I'm Fat Billy. Fat Billy? Hmm. And you're like as the trunk like bends down. And he kind of pats around my head and sniffs around. I remember you. You remember me? Oh, it's my old buddy.

What's your name now? It's Fat Billy. Fat Billy, my old friend. Fat Billy. It was hard times when we were last hanging out. Oh, it was hard times. Dark times. But we get through and we become stronger. Dark times. Dark times. But look how strong I am now. Look at you. Look at your new farm. And Billy does like a little slow twirl around so you can see all of me. Oh, so strong. Strong boy. Strong boy. I am strong boy now. Look at me. Leif is doing pretty well as well. Not bad. Not bad. Not good.

Not great. Not one. But not bad. And Tuck is like, wait, how do you guys know each other? Old friends. The Winter War. You guys fought in the Winter War together? The Winter War. Really? Yes, this was when Leif was a little sapling a long time ago. I saved him from an arrow and from a stampede. Oh, he did. And then I returned it in kind when I slew what are those stop stopping. A rock and stab. Oh, the golem. The golems. I slew a golem to defend my brother in arms. Wow. That was a long time ago.

Do you mind if we spend the night here? Not at all. I also am spending the night here. Okay. Where are you going? I'm going out there. Any gestures towards the tundra? Be safe, Leif. Oh, don't worry. He's going to take me a long way. A long time. I have been passing through this camp for maybe 16 years now. Not that long ago, I feel I was just over there. He's gotten so speedy. You know, Leif still got it.

And he kind of like, a Leif comes down and slams into the trunk like, I'm strong, I'm fast. I have my whole life before me. You do. Well, please, pull up a log or rock. Take a cabin, if you so desire. You are welcome at Leif's camp. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. It's good to see you, Feithbierle. It's really good to see you, Leif. And a little root comes up and wraps itself around your shoulders. Should we make camp? Make camp. Make camp is a move. And I'm going to make you do it.

Okay. Do we roll for it? You do, in fact. Fun. 2d6? Uh, give me a sec. Let me find… I'm just going to roll a 2d6 just in advance. Everybody slow down. Everybody slow down. I got boxcars. Whoa. I want to keep my roll. I'm keeping my roll, too. Hey, guys, guess what? Not how it works. What? You can't bank rolls. When you settle into rest, consume a ration. No, this is we're doing the make camp move from Perilous Wilds. Okay. So it is similar. Oh, wait.

So when you settle into rest, choose one member of the party to manage provisions. I'll do it. Okay. Billy's remembered back to the jerky flying out. No, no, no, no, no. I got it. Okay. So manage provisions. When you prepare and distribute food for the party, roll plus wisdom. 2d6 plus wisdom. I got 11. Jesus Christ. Choose one from the list below. Careful management reduces the amount of rations consumed. The party consumes the expected amount of food, and the food you prepare is excellent.

Describe it, and everyone who licks their lips takes plus one forward. Yeah. Which is always the one we do. We're doing that one, and we're doing a weenie roast. Oh, fun. Oh, nice. Yum, yum, yum. Did I lick my lips too early? No. I mean, we could describe the food a little bit, but it sounds like you're going to love it no matter what. Everyone describes their weenie roast. Yeah, everybody described the hot dog they're making. My wiener is cooked to perfection. Great.

I got a really even sear on all sides of the wiener, and it's just really good. Oh, and it's got the cheese inside. Oh, nice. I was going to do cheese inside too. This is so great. Yeah. All right, let's hear your wiener. I found a forked stick, made sure it wasn't alive, and accidentally now I have two. Whoops. Gotta eat them both. Whoops. Wow, he served himself a double portion. Double wiener. Whoa. That's fine. Oh, it looks who's in charge of the rations.

Billy doesn't say anything just because Vink's had a hard day. Yeah, totally. That's fair. I say, don't worry, I'll give you thirds, and then I eat both of the wieners. And I have, in one of my sacks, I got a little mustard seed. Oh, nice. So I mix that up with, um, I got a prickly pear. Yeah, I'm going to use the prickly pear, so I'll take that off of here. I'll use it like, it's not really oil, but I'll mash it up with these mustard seeds. Delicious. Interesting. What about Tuck's wiener?

It looks weird. Yeah. Did it, like, explode on one end? Yeah, it really, because Tuck was scared of getting too close to the fire. He made a really long roasting stick. So it's, like, out of control. Yeah, and he's, like, 40 feet away. Like, all of you two next to the fire, every time he moves a little bit, it whips around. Gee, watch your wiener bow. Wiener control. It's all slapping us in the face. It's, like, yeah, it's smacking it into the fire a lot.

He's just trying to, like, get it an even distance away, but it's waving around a lot. Yeah, a lot. Live embers, like, flying out and, like, getting too close. To Leaf, and he's, like, whoa! Leaf is, like, you're being smart. Stay away from fire. Fire's no joke. This is actually more dangerous. Tuck's, like, that tree's gonna catch fire. You guys gotta be careful. Boof. Slap, slap, slap. Hot grease everywhere. And eventually it's just burned and ruined. Perfect.

Just like in the streets of Macaw. All right. Oh, my God. I forgot. Great. Perfect. Everybody gets plus one forward. All right. All right. Cut it out. Cut it out. You have beautiful teeth. You do have really nice teeth, dude. Can you not, though? Stop it. Thank you. Because we can't look away. I am enchanted. I'm hypnotized. My fingers were really salty for some reason. Mmm. Ugh. That's a Texas. I ate the wiener with my hand.

I didn't put anything on it, and it just tasted like mustard for some reason. I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened. Ving has like mustard all over his face. Yeah. From Tux Wiener? If you're bedding down in dangerous lands, this is the next part of the make camp move, which I would consider the north is always a dangerous place. Decide on a watch order. Then the GM chooses one person on watch during the night to roll plus nothing. I haven't done watch really. Yeah. Okay.

What do you guys do at the camp? You just kind of vibe out? Yeah. So first, while I digest, I tell a ghost story at the camp. I'm like, I'm going to go to the camp. Oh, cool. All right, tell it. Tux come close for this, because sometimes Billy's ghost stories are really fucking scary, because they paint quite the picture in your head. Yeah. And sometimes they're really stupid. Yeah. Tux likes both options, but some of them are spooky as fuck.

Okay, guys, do you want a funny ghost story tonight, or do you want a real ghost story tonight? I want a real ghost story. I want a really funny ghost story. Shit. We can make it funny. You can't have both. No, but I'll go with the funny one, because Ving said he wanted funny, and you seem to want funny. Well, now, but I shouldn't have asked. I should have just done what I wanted. You just tell us the most recent ghost story you've heard, if you want. Okay, I'll tell you about the horn. Okay.

The Ghost in the Horn by Billy. We all go, ooh. There was once a dark elf general who stormed across the tundra, and he had one goal in mind, to break his spear upon the skull of the first druid he came across. He was very scary. His eyes were black to let in the light from under the shade of the canopy he lived under, and his skin was white. Like the snow. So he'd blend in with his eyes closed. And Billy starts doing little shadow puppets in the fire, in the firelight.

Oh my god, they are very articulate. They are very articulate, actually. They shine up against the trunk of leaf, and it shows the elf as he sprints and turns into a wolf, galloping across the land. He comes across the druid. There's a woman.

Night as the druid sits and meditates in front of the fire but before the spear pierces the head of the druid the druid whips his head around his body doesn't move and he casts a curse upon the elf whoa sick you shall burn in the depths of hell before I ever enter his arm falters and the spear crashes into the fire and bursts into an explosion of embers and through the smoke whistles an arrow that goes straight through the eye of the elf whoa what and as he falls his spirit remains standing he tries to run but his feet are rooted into the ground whoa and he feels the heat of the center of the earth crawl up his roots and into his legs and it's agony the druid bends over and he puts his cloak of furs back on and he pulls from the fire a scorched mask and he places it over his face.

Whoa! So cool! And he approaches the elf's spirit and he says forever you shall burn and he opens the horn, breaks it in half and the elf's spirit is sucked inside and the and Billy's like getting all nervous. He's like, oh I'm trying to remember properly. And the druid feels triumphant as he carries the horn back to the fire where over it sits a pot of metal. He dips the horn into the molten copper and it seals the spirit inside and forever he shall burn. The end!

And it talks like a really funny story going. I thought it was pretty funny. Pretty funny that he thinks I'm gonna get the druid but then he gets shot instead. It's a hilarious story, Billy. Like who shoots him? Who knows? It's hilarious. Stupid elf just arrow in the eye. It's so funny. Yeah, real classic turnaround shoot him up. Leafs branches like shake as he's like, oh! Stupid elf. I like the idea that Billy does the classic like ghost story ending where he's like, oh, I'm gonna shoot you.

He's like, the guy said forever you will burn in hell and since then he has lived in this horn! And then he fumbles it and it falls into the fire. Billy pulls it out with the hot dog stick. He's like, it's fine. It's fine. It's not burned. That's very cool. The mausoleum reaching into the fire and pulling out the mask and putting it on is so fucking cool. Putting it on while it's still burning. Yeah. It's fucking scary. So terrifying. Yeah. That was fucking sick. That was very great.

The mausoleums were druids? I guess so. That's so cool. Mausoleums that dealt with the spirits of men instead of the land. They were exiled as is tradition by the druids to wander alone. I think because they can't bring that sort of energy back to their groups. Yeah. So maybe each clay of druids has to sacrifice one of their number. It has to be a volunteered position. No one has to do it. Okay. And then everybody goes to bed? Yeah. Great. Let's go for lunch. Except for Tuck, I suppose. Yeah.

I don't want to go to sleep. Oh, yeah. After that. I'll just stay up and try not to dream about anything. So, Tuck. I'll take the watch. I don't want to dream about your hilarious story, Billy, or else I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. Yeah, because it's so funny, right? Because it's so funny. I'd be laughing so hard I couldn't fall asleep. I'd be laughing so hard that tears would come out of my mouth. That tears are coming out of my eyes. Did you hear that? And out of my mouth.

And out of my butt. And then Tuck writes in his journal, Dear Diary, Sometimes my son scares me. And I think that's a beautiful thing. Okay. Then I am choosing Tuck to roll plus nothing. A flat roll. 2d6 plus jack shit. We all know I'm the luckiest person. Yeah. So this is great. Eight. Eight. I mean, I think Tuck has a really bad sleep or doesn't sleep at all. Yeah, I think Tuck doesn't sleep at all. Yeah. So the stars in the sky, the moon passes in an arc.

Every kind of like crack in the woods because we're like we're on a lake that is like close to the woods of the Boreal. So creepy. So, yeah, everything in the night. I'm just like, it's probably not a burned man carrying a bunch of horns. Probably not that. Probably not a burned man wearing ghosts. And Tuck is talking. Talking to TLC. And they're also freaked out, too. Oh, man. Especially because Billy's. He fell asleep, curled up in front of the fire, spooning that horn. Yeah. Do you remember?

Do you remember when we were in a mall? Oh, God. Mall was so fun. So fucking sick, man. There's like taco places and like an arcade and shit. And that fucking ripped. That was sick. It was so sick. And now. And I mean, like, you look up at the night sky and the stars and the moon and the coronet and you're like, there's everything. That's a problem for me. Right. Even the night sky brings no comfort now. Because it's like, yeah, there's everything that we're fighting against or for.

So you're just sitting there gripping TLC. Yeah. And they're like, man, I miss being in a city. Remember the city where everything was safe and you could hear people dying sometimes, but you knew what was killing them. It was just another person. And there was no darkness. Remember? The cities where it's just bright all the time. It's never dark. And then eventually the sun rises and you do find some comfort in that. Yeah. But not the comfort of a good night's sleep. You feel like shit. Oh.

Do I need to take a debility to anything? Constitution? Nope. Okay. Just remember that I feel like shit. Yeah. But you're feeling okay right now. Yeah. And that's what I tell everybody. You've got like dark hollows under your eyes. Yeah. Yeah. Oh God. I have dark hollows under my eyes. And then also, the axe has dark hollows under its eyes. We both look like shit somehow. The crystal spike is a little droopy. Yeah. Like an orc is Finn. Yeah. Exactly. Right. Yeah. Totally.

And the, yeah, the copper looks like kind of like burnished, like kind of like. Yeah. Shitty. Yeah. A little shitty. Yeah. Yeah. Little green on the edges maybe. Totally. It looks like it's sweating. The axe looks sweaty somehow. And, uh, leaf, kind of creaks around and goes, oh, boys, you don't look so good. And I go, well, I feel fine, leaf. Okay. Well, just be careful. You and the little ones in there need their rest. If you're going to be prepared for the dangers of the north.

And then Tuck's like, fuck. What dangers are you talking about? The dangers of acidic soil. Very dangerous. Water with too many minerals. Dangerous sometimes. Or like a bug that gets in your bark and digs around in there. And it's like, get out of there. Sometimes a squirrel goes inside your branches and bites on you. Gotta watch out for that. Some homeless man walked towards you with axe. And you go, well, buddy, not for me. Okay. You know what I mean? So be careful. Okay. Out there.

Get some sleep. Your axe needs sleep as well. Okay. Thanks. Sleep. Hey, no problem. Just keep that axe away from me. Yeah, man. I'm not going to cut you down. Okay, great. And you see, it's like, like its roots are like, like it's moving forward. Maybe a millimeter. Yeah. It really wins him. Yeah. Oh, there we go. Bright new world. No darts to dig in. No bugs to piss off. What are Ving and Billy doing now that the sun has arisen? The sun comes up to Ving doing his morning stretch.

Oh, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Oh, beautiful. Billy's also trying to do morning stretch. Ha ha. And yeah, you see your, your, your traveling companions, your closest people doing stretches next to the frozen lake. Uh, uh, goes up in oils. Ving. Usually does this when he's exhausted. Oh, he didn't sleep at all. I don't think so. Look at his eyes. They're haunted. Oh my God.

What could I have said? It's probably that hilarious story. You told us right before sleepy time. Was it? You know, I was thinking as I was falling asleep, maybe it wasn't that funny. It's not your fault, but it was pretty spooky. And you guys have, you know, a day basically you're supposed to meet Nathaniel at the edge of the boreal reach. Do we think tomorrow morning or tonight at like dark? Oh, tonight at dark. Tonight at the door for sure. Midnight. Okay.

So I guess you're near the edge of the boreal reach now. Actually Ving unbidden to your mind. You just remember a place. You're like, this is what he means when he says, meet me at the edge of the boreal reach. He means this place. What is this place? It's a ceremonial place where people leave for their winter walk. Ah, you'll leave the forest on the edge of the tundra. So you know that he sees that as a place where you would return to the forest. So that is where you have to meet. That's sick.

Yeah. And it's going to take you probably the better part of the day to get there. The cloud piercer, like drop us off and fly off. Or is he, he nesting nearby? Right. Right. If we're too close, close to the forest now that like the elves would spot us on cloud piercer. And we want to maintain the element of surprise. We might have to hike the last bit. And cloud piercer agrees. He was sleeping on the ground near all the huts this night and says, you are all correct.

I am far too big a target for you. Now I will take to the skies. Are you going to go back and fight throne breaker? Throne breaker still gathers his strength. You dealt him a devastating blow. Okay. His forces rally in the sky. Do you have to return to your war? I have to return to my war, but I will come when you need aid. Uh, Ving says here, will this help in your fight with throne breaker? And he hands cloud piercer, the shard of the bees or that he took from throne breaker.

It may, I know not how, but it couldn't hurt. Jam it in the necklace that I wear. I hope this comes in handy. I hope it does too. There is nothing left. For me to do here. He slowly awkwardly extends his wings. Is it just me? Is it always awkward when he leaves? He's not good at goodbyes. Fair. Goodbye. My allies. I'll see you in a while. See you soon. I I'm going to caca. He takes to the skies. Good luck. Wow. There's a big ass bird. What? You didn't see him when we landed. He was behind me.

I couldn't turn around fast enough, but there's a big ass bird. It's pretty cool. Glad he didn't come in here. Right? And poop all his bird. Poom. Hey, so it's a nice morning, huh? It's a beautiful morning. You remember the morning after the battle of, I shouldn't say it's okay. I do think about it, but I try not to. It was a bloody morning. The sun ran red with the blood of our enemies. Sky reflected red. It did. Many lives were taken and lost on those days.

A lot of life in that tiny little body and brain. He's amazing. You have not yet. Sorry, what? He's amazing. He's little barley. Haven't. Is that a possibility? Yeah, they haven't changed. You know, I feel it. Who wants to sometimes? Oh, fairies, you have to be careful of these things. I know. Anyway, yep. Time to be hitting the old roads. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Old road for me too. We got a long hike ahead of us.

Was wonderful to see you again, Billy. I will see you again soon. And he reaches out a little root. And I reach out my little hand. Shake. And I shake. Okay, time for Leaf to go. And all his roots, and he moves another millimeter. Oh boy. It was nice to see my friends, but now they are far behind me. May the wind be- Jesus, you're still here. I'm sorry. Sorry. Whoa. I forget like, you know, the speed of which you travel. It is natural, don't worry. I know.

I was just only going to say, may the wind be always at your back. And may the roots beneath your feet- Never find sugar. May the roots beneath your feet find good water, and sugars, and little bugs. Thank you. Fare thee well. Fare thee well. Okay, you guys, we should probably go so he doesn't get confused again. Okay. I feel like he starts a conversation literally every 20 seconds. He does. Get the fuck out of here. And you pack, you grab your pack, and you head off into the snow.

We sneak away as quietly as possible so he doesn't start talking to us again. Friends, where do you go? And you head off east, along the tree line. And now that you're close like this, and walking along the trees, Vang, I feel like it's maybe weighing on you a little bit. You're like, fuck, fuck. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming.

There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming. There's a guy coming.

Lived in the great forest I know I guess I guess not I mean we can talk about if you if you think it would help do you think it would help would it help you I mean that's all that matters I mean it might I don't make that a practice of mine but if you guys think that would help so billy tries to like prompt you yeah and to see if it helps um let's try this out so and how do you feel about that oh god about what that of what you're thinking about use lightning in a bottle oh whoa smart yeah yeah tuck says that to me he leans down and I I'm like yeah I ask I'm like can you use lightning in a bottle on bing to like force him to do therapy right now otherwise it's gonna be a pretty awkward hike I guess uh thing yeah can I yes yes yes Oh did you hear us yeah of course we're walking together okay I would love to try this all right lightning in a bottle which one day we will use to not steal a thought from somebody I don't know but I'm getting it with permission now yeah exactly 11 wow I think because he said it's fine yeah yeah totally it comes much easier you notice you're like oh yeah it's just kind of like untangling a ball of yarn yeah it just I don't even have to really do anything the roots come out of a tree and a tree runs a ton of time and a ton of time runs a ton of time and a ton of time runs a ton of time grows and like a like a drop of dew rolls off it and reflected in the dew drop you see this memory like a crystal ball yeah okay so I have to get really close up to it yeah it's a tiny little dew drop you're really crammed in there and what memory does billy see um the day I left oh that is that the one from when you left um the forest not my mom so when you and your mom left yes yeah so small ving like child ving 11 or 12 inhuman tween being um maybe it's not that maybe it's something fun it's a student play I like that yeah uh and a ving is very nervous he only has two lines what were you playing my father oh wow I was playing ranger king and everyone thought it made sense but I was like this sucks yeah this is insane this feels really weird this is an over all the adults did not think this through the drama teachers in the back of the room all while the kids are getting ready and she's just like dressed like a hippie drama teacher and she's just like oh yeah this is bad this is bad this was a mistake oh this got away from me but I am committed to it so I'm dressed with like a big fake nose and I have a ponytail you've got flour in your beard or like on your face to make it look like you have a great beard yeah yeah yeah yeah I have like um the hood from a bear play that they did they did um the the dancing bear this is the name of a bar the bear in the chair the bear in the chair oh yeah which is an old tale that they named the bar after it's an old play oh yeah so it's a production that they did the bear in the chair and they just I have like the bear's mask from the kid who played the bear on my face as a beard cool with baby powder in it and I can't stop sneezing and I won't stop sneezing and I'm not gonna stop sneezing and I'm not gonna stop sneezing and I'm not gonna stop sneezing sneezing uh-huh and uh I'm really ving's very nervous because in the play he has to kiss a girl yeah and the whole I imagine the whole thing just this is a very stressful memory like what we're seeing is a look at like the pressures of life in court sure yeah yeah yeah yeah and I think that there would be fun if you guys were there yeah that's yeah the the end the drama teacher comes up to you and she's just like okay ving I know this was maybe the a bad call on my part as your teacher to make you play your dad who is a very difficult person to be around I'm gonna be honest parent teacher conferences have been very tough for me I think it was a good thing is very supportive of all her terrible ideas even at the cost of his own well-being she's like okay all you have to do is go out there take out your sword and say onward rangers for I am your king!

And I maintain this position not through political prowess but through strength of arm alone and this is what I am proud of god damn it this was a terrible idea and I'm playing the girl that ving has to kiss and she is so nervous because she's like uh uh I'm gonna I'm gonna kiss the prince I'm just a lowly lady in waiting who also lives at court I've never I've never kissed anybody in my life except for her dog we've all just kissed my dog so I'm just gonna that was a weird party I'm just she holds her fist up I'm just gonna practice how do you move teacher how do you move your lips when you want to kiss oh my god why did I do this do you open your mouth wide like that or is it like like you're like oh my god I'm gonna kiss you like who like like an owl and the drama teacher leads sits down in front of this nameless child well only nameless because we haven't given her a name her name is her name is wendy wendy she's like wendy okay here's the thing is uh I have I have been going through a divorce I've been making a lot of weird calls okay so this that that was one of them I should not have told you that but here's the thing okay I'm gonna kiss the prince and she's like oh my god I'm gonna kiss the prince okay so this does not have to be like a huge crazy passionate kiss you and ving did you say huge crash passionate crazy kiss you guys are both in front of me it's like just here's what you guys do just give a little peck just like this and she mimes it with her hands just a little peck and then that's it and then we can pretend that this didn't happen pretend this didn't happen we're talking about there's pulls the curtain aside 300 people out there 300 people yeah it's a huge soft seat theater this is the prince people are elves from all around have traveled to see this play yeah okay so I was trying to figure out the culture I think I've kind of sorted it out okay at least thematically I'm thinking like chivalric medieval yeah like lords and ladies knights the rangers are these like led like they're the ones that range far this play is part of a tournament that a bunch of different houses came to so the play is taking place at the tournament not a tournament of no no I was like don't do that to me right now and the ranking of the families for the upcoming year depend on the outcomes of this whole tournament yeah okay so this is starting to make more sense to me so if we see like an elf city I wasn't sure what those look like but we're talking like castles and shit like made out of trees yes like castles that grow into castles and buildings held a lot and maybe different cities are like you mentioned that you can see the different biological regions of the forest so they can they could be like the elm people the uh deciduous people elves you know I mean there could be different regions yeah yeah and like if we see like a throne room in an elven king's castle we're talking like throne room like dude on a throne that's like hello welcome to my court I think the high elves are like that okay I think like the different groupings it's very dependent on your environment yeah kind of game of thrones so you go to the north and they're like welcome to the northern forest I am the king of the north yeah okay cool all right cool and I think like dathaniel might be a bit different uh because he's like a little bit more he might be like a low-born elf that has gained status because he is deadly okay cool I just needed there was some cultural stuff that I was having trouble connecting yeah this makes sense to me now okay so back to the play you guys just have to give each other a quick pick a quick pick look at me look at me look at me a quick pick yeah and then that's it so we we kiss until the sound of the owl and then we stop kissing now just a quick should we practice before we go on teachers I can't be here for this yeah she walks away she runs away I think it's frozen your royal highness uh I mean if you wish it if she curtsies what do you think this is a good we could just wing it I mean I think that makes more sense to be more passionate like you know what if we lose imagine let's save it for the stage let's save for those for the for the play nothing personal no you're right you know we want to bring realness to the stage smash cut to the stage the scene is going to be a little bit more real and I think that's going to be a little bit more real and I think that's going to be a little bit more real and I think that's going to be a little there's a halo of sweat around wendy's mouth she's so nervous the lanterns are hot and she's nervous first kiss she also had put a bunch of lip gloss on before to try and make it just the whole sea of shimmering bottom half of her head and the big battle scene has just happened a kid in a costume like a war deer uh walks off stage dragging behind him somebody that was playing a dead bear a dead bear who's being dragged off and ving's character's holding a spear and wendy approaches and you approach her line and the teacher's like okay just say uh for she doesn't remember the script take out your rapier take out your sword ching by the sword upon which our great houses have been joined I dathaniel of the boreal forest to claim to claim the title of the ranger king the title of the ranger king in the name of my father the ranger king as so too unto the ranger kings as per handed down from father to son for generations okay just kiss dude declare my love for you uh uh!

Thank you sir for your proclamation of love may I bequeath ye you may bequeath me oh okay and she keeps her eyes wide open she's like with pointing her lips at you I'm ready sir staring ahead and then like okay puts the sword away but misses it and just drops it right on the stage and then hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with a stick and hits her with He turns, lips very glossy.

And all the parents in the audience kind of clap. And there's one parent who's like, whoa! Yeah! Yeah! That's my daughter! That's Wendy's mom. That's my daughter. Wendy! Yeah, fuck yeah! Fuck yeah, Wendy! Ving looks out. His dad's not here. Of course not. There's a seat that says reserved for Ving's dad. It doesn't even say the family. And it's empty. And then we're back to the forest. Billy pulling away from the dew drop. That teacher should not have put that play on.

Yeah, that teacher was super irresponsible, dude. That was fucked up. The political situation at the time was way too raw. Oh, that's interesting. Okay, yeah. There's a lot of courtly stuff. There were a lot of houses, families that were like, this is bullshit. This was a travesty. Yeah, there's a lot of political stuff that happens. Yeah, they're always warring with each other. Like the plays in Game of Thrones. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, and you carry on across the woods, sort of reminded of the weight that existed in your life as a prince. And also the weight that you're probably walking into and what you're trying to tear down. The rest of the day passes, hiking, you know, passing out beef jerky and shit. You carry on for another couple hours across the tree line. And unlike his previous very stealthy moves, you hear… Across the snow, coming towards you. Oh, no. And it is Vic.

Who finally, he pads to a halt in front of you and is like, oh, it's nice of you to arrive finally. I've been here for a long time. You're doing like a workout or something? Yeah, he's just, you know, going for a quick run to stay trimming sharp. As I require. You look really winded, man. It is the wind that… Ruffles through my fur as I sprint across the tundra. That is all. Okay. Well, sorry we're late then. I forgive you. It's not a problem. Let's go meet your mean father. Mean father?

Let us go meet your mean daddy. Daddy no good. And night has fallen. The clouds have passed over the moon and stars. The deep dark depths of the great forest lie before you. As you arrive at the cleft in the trees that has marked the winter walk for so many years. What do we see as the party waits for Dathaniel? What kind of vibe have we got here? Ooh, I think that there are owls.

I mean, I don't think there's that many animals in the vicinity, but I think because it's so quiet and still, you can hear it from like miles around. You hear like owls who are like, oh, I'm going to go to the forest. You hear owls hooting. Mm-hmm. Just like whatever paws are patting the ground and the leaves. Yeah. Scurrying night creatures. Mm-hmm. Yeah, kind of this place more than anything feels like a focal point for the spirits of the forest. Mm-hmm.

Like the wind sounds like more alive than usual. Yeah. Ooh, yeah. There's something about the fact that this is a transition point and it's one that this society has used so many times. Like that the wind is constantly switching directions, like a breath almost. Oh. Oh, yeah. So cool. Yeah. And as you're contemplating this, you realize that two trees away, a figure leans against the trunk, kind of carving at what looks like a small piece of fruit, like an apple or something. Who's that?

Oh, it's my dad. Isn't it? He made it. Pops the apple into his mouth and you brought kind of gestures. They have names. Do you remember them? Yeah. Yeah. Tuck, Billy, Victor. Do you understand what you've signed up for? He says to you two. Yes, sir. Billy's doing the mayor voice. I am the mayor. I know of which I walk into. I mean, I know what I've signed up for. I mean, I, yes. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Your Highness, I do a voice when I'm nervous. I'm trying not to do it. And Tuck picks Billy up and he puts him like on his shoulder just so he feels taller than Nathaniel at the very least. Yeah. And Tuck's like, yeah, we know what we're in for. We're here to save Ving. And he looks back at Ving. These are the people you brought to topple the court. These are the only people I want by my side. And he nods and cuts his throat.

And he looks back at Ving. And he looks back at Ving. And he looks back at Ving. And he looks back at Ving. And he looks back at Ving. And he looks back at Ving. And he looks back at Ving. And he looks back at Ving. These are the people you brought to topple the court. These are the only people I want by my side. And he nods and cuts another slice off his apple. What about the wizard? Burrell? Yeah. I've been traveling with a wizard. What about him? Can you trust him? More than I can trust you.

Alright. So, what's your plan? All in due time. First thing we need to consider is that according to the ancient laws and covenants, the three of you cannot trespass in these woods. But if I were to take you in as prisoners, and he reaches into his pack and throws a length of rope to you, throws a length of rope to Billy, and a length of rope to Tuck. So you're gonna take us into who? The court? Take you to my court. And then what do you do? What do you want us to do?

Then we bring down the court of the woods. How do we know this isn't a trap for us? You think if I was gonna trap you, I would just throw a piece of rope at you? That would be my whole plan? That's pretty easy. Easiest way. The U3, from what I understand, are capable, and I have to admit, pretty dangerous. But the only way that I can get you where you need to be to do what I need you to do, what I need you to do, is as prisoners.

Look, dude, I understand that you're like ranger guy or whatever, and you have a plan, but I don't want to go into this thing not knowing the whole thing. Yeah. I'm willing to go in as a prisoner, but I need to know what your endgame is here. I'm getting huge ranger danger vibes here. And he sits down on like a stump. There's a sickness at the heart of the forest.

The knowledge trees that sit, at the center of elven culture and dictate our laws and ways have been poisoned over time by the machinations of the ambitious, greedy, and foolhardy. And at the center of the forest is the great tree, which wilts and dies as we speak. And as it dies, we die. He nods. Your mother, Ileana, saw this sickness coming. There was nothing. There was nothing she could do about it. The court wouldn't let her.

And as the spirit walker, now, you are the only living entity that has a hope of understanding the sickness of the trees and healing it. And to get you and Tuck and Billy to that great tree, we need to get you into the forest. And the only way that that will be accepted is as my prisoner. So cool. So, and he kind of nods to the ropes in your hands. We look at each other. I'm in. You in? Yeah, I'll do it. Tuck says, and then he hog ties himself. Yeah. Do what? How?

Do whatever you want to me, Nathaniel. Yeah, Billy rolls himself up in the rope like a carpet. All right, I'm going to need someone to tie me off. Bing pulls out the ball gig that he already had on him. Perfect. All right. Well, then I will see you in the forest. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Dragging my own prisoners into my court like a dog walker. Sorry, what? That's so insulting. My talon will do this for me.

And out of the trees, four figures just melt out of the shadows. Whoa, okay. Whoa. Hey there. Holy fuck. Hey fellas. Hi, I'm Bing. Four elves. One large burly with like a thick beard and like a brace of hatchets on his chest. Cool. An older one with a shaved head and like a big scar across his nose. Wow. Sorry, we're all just like, nice warriors. That one's pretty hot. Yeah. One young, fresh looking, you know, like it looks like the glow of youth on his skin and a long bow.

And then the last with a massive cat next to her takes her hood down. And Bing, you see for the first time that girl from that place so long ago, Wendy. Whoa. Wendy? Hi, Bing. She walks up to you. It's been a long time. You lean forward with like, just imperceptibly, just a little bit with the memory in your head. Yeah, just like, is this going to happen? Yeah. She, she goes to like, cup the back of your head. Oh my God. She reaches forward. No, no, no, no, no, no.

There's no way this is happening. Her hand brushes your cheek and reaches around to the back of your neck. Oh man. And she slams a rag into your mouth and pulls a cloth sack over your head. And all is darkness. And Bing's leaning. Yeah. His eyes are like fluttering closed. Yeah. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. Thank you for joining us. My name is Sean O'Hara. I've been your game master. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz. So long, everybody.

Playing Bing, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care, guys. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye, friends. Thank you to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music. You can find all of Aaron's original music at aaronreed.bandcamp.com and all of the music that Aaron's composed for the show, written with lyrics by Abdul and myself at soundcloud.com. And this show wouldn't be possible without our supporters around the world.

If you would like to support the show, and get access to bonus content like a whole new bonus campaign set in the High Spear Mall, art, lore, writing, merchandise, postcards, and a bunch of cool stuff, check us out at patreon.com slash speltlore or speltlore.com slash money, please. You can also find us online at speltlore most places. And most of all, thank you to you for listening. We'll see you next time.

And so ends the tale of Adventures 3 Who tried their best They tried their best They can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Wacky music We will not leave you without a resolution Whilst you commute Or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore It's a struggle