Tag: Tabletop Roleplaying Game

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara And joining me, as always, playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz! Hello everybody! Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers! Hiya! And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai! Hello! When last we left our heroes, we started with some emotional fallout Following a sharing of memories between Tacoma, Shia the Garden Snake, and Fat Billy And then…

And then we had a three foot party sub We split between like five people The actual length of the sub changed quite a few times As is with all party subs Exactly Yeah, sometimes you come into a room after everyone's been eating the party sub for a while And it's longer than it was when it was delivered Hold on, what the fuck? You come in the room, I thought we were having a party here! Have you been adding to the sub? What the fuck's going on?

An anomalous party sub that just keeps changing its length and consistency And then… That was my party sub! Yeah, that was your contribution, you started with the party sub, that's what you get Ving was playing cards with a wolf, I think Right, we had a whole day of day off activities Yeah, totally He had a good chat with the Timberwolf God, his history When the emotional realm was over, they were crying together and talking about the Arctic North Hell yeah What did Billy do on his day off?

I can't remember Oh, I napped Oh, right Yeah Okay, and then… And then… We made a plan… We made a plan, which included going to the urchins And getting them to put… Sprinkle a bunch of like poison powder on the…

On the bread that goes to the hearth every day So that all the guards would fall asleep And then decided that the next step in the plan was for Shia to inform, quote unquote, on the three of you To the Light Guard Yeah Giving them your location, which they accepted heartily Yeah And then whooped Tuck's ass and arrested Ving and Billy and then arrested Tuck Yeah, they found us at the McCall Motor Inn Yeah What was it called? The Moat The Moat The Moat Yeah Oh yeah Yeah And then…

And then we were taken into the hearth Yes Not before we were paraded through the streets and people were shaming us and throwing tomatoes at our head For being heretics You've been accused of heresy Yeah And we were just like, fuck you guys You guys are lame, stop fucking pretending that you're mad at us Well, I believe everything I read on a poster like you guys And then we arrived at the imposing and indomitable hearth itself You were taken on a circuitous route to the deepest…

Well, some of the deepest cells And placed individually in cells in total darkness And through a variety of chicanery, broke out of your various methods of confinement Uh huh Ving had a bunch of metal iron manacles grab into his arms Shit, but also cool As his way of breaking down the door of his cell, Tuck goaded a bunch of guys into a fight Just one guy, the other guy passed out Yes, because the poison took effect Yeah And Billy was able to get out of his room And you all met in front of the cell that Tuck was in And then you were spotted by another guard who screamed up the stairs, jailbreak And then we ran down the hall Yes Which we are still running, I guess Yes, that is where we find you now, is running down a hallway What do you do?

Run! Run as fast as we can Run fast! Can I discern realities? Yeah, totally 2 to 6 plus wisdom Here we go Also tell me how you're discerning realities instead of saying… Can I press A to discern realities? I'm just looking around trying to find like one of those little wall plates that's like, you are here Yeah Here's where the toilets are Here's where the fire exits are Fire exits are here Absolutely not Oh, okay Maybe there's a little play…

A doormat in front of one of the cells that has all the instructions for how to break out Yeah, that could be it No, you know what I think it is? I think at the end of the hallway there's an information booth with a very helpful receptionist that's willing to give you the history of the heart Hi, can you tell me everything? Yeah, what kind of… Are you looking for facilities? Are you looking for…

Like no, fucking of course not Okay, Tuck opens his eyes so fucking wide and looks around And they come out of his head And he wants to find stairs that go down to the deepest cells to where Amma is Okay Yeah Yes, so roll discern realities What did you get? I got seven, yeah Okay, great, so that's one question off the discern realities list What is useful or valuable to me? Yeah, I mean that's probably it, right?

Like you just run for long enough with guards hot on your ass and you find stairs that turn sharply to the left and down and basically like spiral down Holy shit We go down Yeah Is there a way to like trap expert? 286 plus dexterity Nine plus two is eleven Alright, so that's three hold off trap expert Cool Is there a trap here and if so what activates it?

Yes, there is a trap in that as we discussed the lower levels being the more dangerous cells are also more commonly staffed So there are guards down here and if you come down here they will see you Okay, cool Well, I guess what does the trap do when activated? The trap draws its sword I don't care, I'm gonna ask all these Yeah, totally Because I earned that role Okay, this is useful, what else is hidden here? Okay, what else is hidden here?

Maybe there's a bookshelf and then behind it there's a secret passage Perfect It says demon jail cells and where to find them You pulled it off What if there is a secret passage though?

I don't think it's that there's a secret passage But I think that if I had a prison and I was attempting to contain a demon I wouldn't just be putting it in a regular ass jail cell No Oh So I think that you are low enough down because they took you very low I think you're low enough down that somewhere on this floor Billy gets this like thief sense Where you're like there's a hidden door here for sure Yeah, I feel my spidey senses tingling Yeah So what you see in front of you when you get down here is a secret passage And what you see in front of you when you get down here is you see a lantern Like halfway down a long hallway with cells along one wall And you see what was at one time four guards And two of them are slumped over against the wall And the other two are like hey get up Hey what's going on?

I'm gonna run in and clothesline these two fuckers Okay cool My iron hands Is this what is this a hack and slash a fight with honor?

Yeah it's a fight with honor Fight with honor 2d6 plus whatever Oh nice Doesn't matter really Strength 11 Alright So I got three hold Three hold for fight with honor I will cross the distance between myself and a foe And deal my damage to one of them Yeah Five Oh you fucking knock this dude out The first one Clang Yeah absolutely Man with the iron fist style And you cross the distance so fast Like if Tuck is attracted to Ving's physicality This gets you going a tiny bit Oh bet the flame in the lantern flicks Oh yeah Cause of my chub?

No!

Cause Ving runs so fast Oh so fast The air displacement of Ving passing you Okay yeah And then yeah the flame goes I like the idea that he's like I'm gonna go get him And then Ving just goes like Runs past you Wong Rings like a bell And then Tuck like comes huffing and puffing up behind him Where he's like oh yeah good teamwork Good job both of us we did it Well as you're running down the hallway to do this There's another guy here Yeah He hears the bell ringing off his friend's skull And turns around and goes What the fuck?

And Tuck's like we're medics And then he punches him in the face Okay Nice Hack and slash 2d6 plus strike Wow 12 Deal your damage 7 Yeah you fucking club this dude He feels bad he feels really bad How hard it connects Yeah I imagine that like Ving's punch Like you punch the guy straight on his legs flip up In front of him and he lands on the ground Tuck just slams the dude into a wall Oh And he crumples to the ground Yeah So you still hear footsteps coming behind you Like there is activity But you have a moment to check if you want to I wanna feel with my fairy vibes Like Billy's wondering if like if he's hidden from mortal view If it's sort of a thing where it's like you have to release him via like magic Or like spirit energy He would okay roll for this Oh 2d6 I'm gonna say charisma This is definitely more Billy's like fairiness than it is Cause it'd be kinda cool if all the guards like generally they were like we know the demons like they know where they're stationed But they don't know where the demon is Totally Oh to keep it a secret even from the people inside smart Oh that wasn't very good Plus charisma It doesn't matter I only got 6 7 Yes I aid Oh sick Wait no you aid Yeah I'm the spirit guy Yeah totally yeah I'm like Ving what do I do he's here And I just like Billy it doesn't matter about where you are in your Billy body Okay this isn't important you don't have to worry about here You're remember you walk between the worlds You're not here you're also everywhere You don't need to see it Right You don't need to to feel it You can just go 2d6 plus bond Okay Do it And that plus one tips Billy over into a 7 And you You see what It looks like stone wall you know but It's kind of almost like water like if you look through it It's like there is a cell and that's where the demon is Okay so I think that like that this barrier is the door there's no other door Yeah Like Billy can see through the barrier and it goes like into an open chamber Yeah but it's a small chamber Yeah it's small Oh it's very sad And you smell the overwhelming odor of burning saffron And sitting in the middle of the cell with a small incense brazier at each corner of this tiny little cell Is an old tired looking man sitting cross legged on the ground I'm gonna go to him Mm-hmm And I will say that Billy attempts to cross the threshold Yeah You're like okay time to time to leave my body And I walk right into the wall Yeah And your body passes through What?

Your whole body? His whole body and spirit They're imprisoning Ama's physical body as well Whoa But the presence of the demon inside him makes it impossible for him to pass the threshold Cut to Tuck and Ving what else is going on? Well I guess I'm defending from people that are coming down Okay Or I'm just waiting Oh geez Yeah Yeah Okay and I wanna like use my metal make create a barrier Yeah At the other end of the hallway So when you say use your metal to create a barrier what do you mean?

Yeah I just mean punch some of the wall and try and use some of my fists Cool Yeah I guess it would make sense for Ving to try and create rubble to stop everybody And anyone that gets through then has to deal with Tuck Yeah Totally Yeah And I just like the image of Ving standing in the middle of the hallway like an arms reach from either side and just going like clank clank clank Like trying to break the Oh yeah Doing very like flourishy like Tai Chi you know like two hands to one side and then up in the air Oh yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah elope style orangutan style penguin style polar bear penguin marmoset janitor chi power of puffer fish uh okay so what is this you physically trying to break the wall or is this an elemental mastery no this is uh hack and slash oh no plus my what strength I guess yeah okay so just five okay I think what it is is that some people arrive at the bottom of the stairs you didn't have time to create a barrier and there are like four more light guard guards we just look like total spazzes like just standing there watching his friend who's like just punching a wall being like marmoset marmoset marmoset marmoset marmoset penguin and it's basically he's effectively ringing a bell with every punch yeah like where are they clang clang clang clang I think we might know we're the sticky kids of this jail aren't we totally uh a group of light guard arrive at the bottom of the stairs and charge you what do you do tuck I do war cry I'm gonna like try and intimidate the fuck out of them okay what what does the staircase look like uh it's just hewn out of the stone is it like uh is it one of those like narrow stairs where it's just stairs in the like and wall on either side or is it like a big no kind of cylinder and goes like no it's like yeah right angles, very low ceilings.

The width of the hallway is barely enough for you to walk down it. They can get maybe two people abreast. It's interesting because you guys are kind of fucked, but you're also in a pretty great defensible position. You can wedge yourself in there with all your strength. You'll be able to get to Billy at least. What do I have with me that I could use? There's doors. Are there doors? Yeah, there's cells along one wall. You're on the cell floor that was below you. What about the four guards?

They probably have weapons on them. The ones that you guys knocked out. That's a good idea. We didn't go for their bodies. Should we check their bodies? I completely forgot that they were there. I grab the four guards and I whip them into their friends that are coming at us. You're not going to do damage with this, like with Warcry, but it's going to be like he's just throwing people. He's throwing people real hard and it fucking hurts. Okay, 2d6 plus, what is it? Constitution? Constitution.

Yeah. Oh, wow. Holy shit. I got a two plus constitution is five. Yeah, there's nothing I can do. Wow, snake eyes. Unbelievable. I think that you are throwing these guards and the other guards are like, what the fuck? Like it's a full-on melee, but in the distance somewhere in this complex you hear very heavy footsteps like ringing through the halls. Thunk. Thunk. That's not Fatim. That's something else. Fatim's the heaviest guy I know. That's not Fatim.

Yeah, so I'm going to say introducing that is the failure. Okay. Billy, you're face to face with an old man. He slowly raises his eyes and looks at you. Alma, we're here to free you and we don't have much time. There is no freedom. Yes, there is. I know you think you can't leave, but there is a way. What way could there be? I mean, I just walked through the wall and I'm sure if he came with me we could head out together. No. I'll just put out the embers so I start stomping. Don't. Why?

You see his body starts flickering, like the shape of his body starts flickering and Billy, you see bursts of vegetation like his flowers. And you remember, you're reminded, of the image that you saw when you looked at the truth demon. Okay. Is there a way I can talk to the demon? That's a great idea. Let's roll a Spout Lore, maybe. 2d6 plus intelligence. Eight. Okay, so yeah, that is something interesting. It's up to you to make it useful. The saffron, the smoke, it keeps the demon in me.

It suppresses it. If I leave, it will escape. Oh. Um. Hmm. I don't know how to… We could try, because I think we could collectively come up with a solution to this. Well, there is the thing where we remember in episode two or three we forced Billy to take saffron and have it around his neck. Oh, uh-huh. Oh, yeah, I still… Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I pull the saffron, like the pouch of saffron from under my shirt. I'm like, well, eating fixes a lot of my problems.

Alma, I have some saffron, and I'm kind of thinking maybe you should eat it. I will say that he's been in prison for a really long time. He's very beaten down. Yeah. You're gonna have to convince him somehow. Alma, look at me. It takes him a while, but he does. He looks at you. Um. There's one of your family members who asked us to come get you. She wants to bring you back to the library. The library still stands? It does. And your great great… I don't know how old you are.

Great granddaughter. She runs it. It's still yours. The Marganis still live. They do. I thought I failed them. No. No, she's still there and she's super boss. Roll a defy danger. Charisma. Charisma 10. 10. Okay. Yeah. So, um. Does he need help? Yeah. His physical body is very weak. Yeah. Um. So he very shakily raises a hand. Actually, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna chew on it a bit. Uh-huh. I know it's gross. No. I think it's actually kind of nice.

Billy remembers, like, William doing this for Billa when he was really sick one time. Yeah. Too sick to eat. Mm-hmm. So he chews it a bit and then he puts it in Alma's mouth. Mm-hmm. A little bit of the, like, saffron-colored juice, like, dribbles out of his mouth. And Billy tries to wipe it or push it back in. He's like, it's okay. Gets mashed into his, like, little, like, his scraggly old man beard that he has, but he swallows it and he takes a deep breath and it rattles out of his chest.

Like, he's so old, but he looks at you and is like, I will see the library again. You will. Creep. Creep. A lot of grunting and straining. How do I leave? I have escape route. Okay, so my ferry… Yeah. I think escape route applies. Escape route makes sense. 2d6 plus dex. Okay, 10. And so on 10 plus, I'm gone. Yeah, you press against this barrier that looks like stone and moves like water and you pass through with Alma behind you. Yeah.

You feel, just for a second, you feel Alma's body, like, tug against the barrier, but you guide him through. And you come out to the sound of crazy fighting. Cut to Tuck and Ving. And Tuck has actually, uh, he's popped one of the music bottles that he stole and when you come out, all you hear is this. Oh my God. Oh my God. Ving and Tuck are going nuts on the light guard that are out here. Oh shit. Okay. Well, you do have to roll dice to determine whether or not that's true.

Ving, I rolled to play air guitar. Really awesome. Do it. No. He just does it. If you choose to do air guitar, you're gonna do it. Sick. You can't fail at air guitar. Uh, so yeah, what's going on in the hallway? Air guitar? I'm glad we're all treating this with the weight that it deserves. I'm using fists of fury. I'm never unarmed. And especially now that I have these iron fists and I'm gonna clang away into, uh, at least a couple of these guys.

Okay, so is this fight with honor or just hack and slash? Hack and slash. Okay. 2d6 plus strength. 7-8. Okay, so, uh, you roll a d6. And roll your damage. Uh-oh. 6. Okay. So you, um, wade forward with your iron-clad arms. You smoke a dude in the jaw. He just hits the ground. And, uh, as you're like, you follow through with the punch and a sword comes down and clangs off your armor but slices a little bit into the exposed flesh. You take 5 damage. Oh, fuck. Yeah.

We need to find a way out of here. Yeah, you get cut. We need to find a way out of here. You backhand the other guy and you deal him a little bit of damage too. And that, that thunking is still coming down the hallway. Yeah, the loud thing. Oh, that's scary. So that is, like, like I say, that noise is coming from a very far distance. They're not like, at the top of the stairs, I'm coming for you.

Uh, but what you do hear at the top of the stairs is a bunch of shouting and yelling and smashing as banging down the hallway, biting, snapping, flipping around is a 30-foot-long cobra. Holy shit. Oh! Fuck! Yeah. Remember? She said she was gonna help you get out. I forgot! Sick! She said, I'm not, I cannot change back or they'll know that it's me. That's fine. You keep doing you. Let's try and get you out of here. Let's try.

And she, like, slithers in between the legs of the two guys that are like, what the fuck? Like, freaking out. Bingo's full snake chi. What does that mean? He starts doing this and he'll stick his tongue out. He puts his fingers up in a V and he faces out. Oh, yeah. There is even snake-style martial arts. You're not even using those as a reference point. It's fucking pussy-licking style martial arts is what we're doing. Oh, my God. Tuck's doing it, too. Yeah. Great.

Remember when people say that, like, they listen to this with their kids? That's fun. Nobody says that. Anyone that fucking said that is a bad parent. If you got this far and you were fine with it and that was the line, I guess you're kind of fucked up. Maybe they listen to the theme song. Okay. So, yeah. What is Tuck doing? Tuck wants to create a barrier between the light guard and us as we escape down the stairs.

So, he's gonna, like, open one of those, like, slats into the cells, like, put his hand in, rip the door off, and then, like, just put it between him and them as we run down. Okay. That's really cool. Divide into strength. Whoa. Twelve. Yeah. Big boy. You just, like, it's not even the, like, slow wrenching of the door. You just grab it, yank, and the whole thing comes out of the wall.

And there's a couple of guys that are, like, sprinting down after the snake and I just, like, ram it right into them. Yeah, totally. And then, like, anyone who comes against us will hit that door. Yeah. The two scraggly bearded guys go, we're free! Hot damn! It's a prison break! And it's the two old dudes from, uh… Stett and Walden from Bull Rush Village. Bull Rush. Oh, my God. This isn't the worst jailbreak I've ever been a part of, but it's close! Oh! And they all run down.

And Tuck turns to these guys, he's like, that wasn't even a fucking joke! Oh, man. Great. So, yeah, this isn't gonna keep them forever, but you've got a good, like, gap of time. And you just book down the hallway, I guess. Yeah, I guess I wedge the door across the hall and then we run. It's definitely a barrier. Like, they'll be able to get it down eventually, but not right now. Yeah. You hear, yeah, banging and yelling and that thunking in the distance. Did she bring anything for us? No.

She's just snaking. She's a snake. Well, actually, once you run further into the hallway, like, once you take that corner where Amasel was, she… Whoop! There's a lady! Instead of a snake. Oh, shit. And she's like, what happened? What? This was the plan, wasn't it? The plan was to go crazy right away? Yeah, usually. Where's your stuff? They took it. They have it. What are you gonna… How are you gonna get it back? Oh, fuck. Yeah, plans. Plans. Have you guys ever broken out of jail before? Yes.

Where? When? How? It was Crystal Bay. Uh-huh. We were in a holding cell. A holding cell. Oh, yeah. That's breaking out of prison. It's kind of drunk to break out of those things. We were in that stick box on the Sea of Graves that had us sort of in a prison. Oh, yeah. Like a little shack. Yeah, a little shack. Right. Yeah. Yeah. They wedged us in into a bedroom or whatever. Into a bedroom. Yeah. Oh, no. A bedroom. It was made out of clapboard, okay? So, pretty… Drafty. Yeah.

So, what I'm hearing is, no, you have never broken out of prison before. Fine prison genius. Tell us what we're supposed to do. Well, didn't we find out that there's a supposed exit point? Wait, what was the escape route? Well, the escape route was that, like… Cavernous. Yeah. It's all, like, salt down here. And some of the salt or stone or whatever has been cracking down below. Okay. And that would lead out to the Broken Shores. To the Broken Shores, right. Yeah.

That's one of your potential outs is the Broken Shores. Right. I have my axe, though. Oh, no. They do have your axe. Can we commune with it? No, it's from a distance. What about… I have commune… I wish so bad that you listened to me and took the signature weapon move. Fine. Okay. I take signature weapon. He did it. He did it, folks. This would be such a dope moment to manifest, like, a Mjolnir style. It starts cutting through the stone. Okay, yeah. It's… Wang! Cool. I manifest that power.

No, unfortunately, you don't. Okay, Tuck tries really hard, though. He rolls his arm out. Yeah. Come on! And he's thinking about Larry Terry and Chad. He's like, Guys, come on. I know you can hear me. Come to daddy! Okay, so what? Roll, what, Wisdom? I guess so. Okay, 2d6 plus Wisdom. Nine. Nine. Okay. Further up in the hearth, in a storage room, there's a single trainee, overweight, probably 45 years old. Looks like he's been on the job a long time. He's reading a magazine.

And on a table beside him, there's an crazy magic ornate axe. It cuts back to me for a second. I'm straining so hard. And we cut back. He hears a sound, a rattle, and he looks over. That was probably nothing. And it cuts back to me. I'm like, I don't think it's gonna work! We gotta go! Shit. But… Can I call in the primal spirits of the amethyst? It's fine. It's fine. Larry Terence, I can take care of themselves for a while. I can go back for them later. Fuck.

So yeah, I guess you guys are just gonna try and run down. I guess, but we have Alma, and he's slow. I can carry him. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Actually, Alma. Yes. Do you know of any other way up? Up. Or out? Roll, uh, Discern Reality. He says. 2d6 plus Wisdom. It's nine. Okay. Okay, so I know what's valuable to me, which is a way out. Um, we know who's in control. Mm-hmm. We know we're about to get beat up. Mm-hmm. I don't know. Like, should I ask, what here is not what it appears to be? Yes! Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Um, I think that it could be the sort of thing where, when they put the truth demon to use, they don't want to just take him out the front door. So I think inside there could be another way up, maybe out through the wall. Out through the wall. Like, maybe there's a… Oh. An exit that winds through the wall itself. Oh. Like in the Matrix, when they were in the wall of the… Yeah. That's what we were talking about.

And the only person that would know about it is question mark, question mark, question mark. The light guard! More specifically… Lord of the Flame. More specifically… Torch of McCall? There we go. Yeah. That's the guy. Yeah. Torch of McCall. Um, and perhaps one other. Dunk. Dunk. Oh. Dunk. Fatim? No. That's not Fatim. I'm sorry, I don't know. No. No, no, no. I'm just, this is all mysterious foreshadowing. That's it. Ama's like, they would take me out of a side passage in the wall itself.

And Billy, what else is hidden here as a little side thing? You see along the wall that had the shimmering of Ama's cell a few other spots that shimmer in a similar way. Oh God. Is there anything in them? Other people. There's other demons? Billy, if, yeah, because Billy can just peek through it. There are other people. And the smell of more saffron. Oh my God. Do you want to check on them before we go? Do we have time? Uh, I mean, what do you guys think?

It depends on how many more demons you want to drag out of this place. I don't know. We can't leave. Shia's like, we gotta go now. Leave them. They're not who we came for. Hey, and I poke her in the chest, and I accidentally poked her tit. Oh, come on. No, I feel bad about it. Yeah, because you're undermining a dramatic moment? No, but I poke her in the chest. I'm like, you, these are people who fucking were kidnapped by the light guard.

Who had nobody look for the, we don't leave that kind of person behind. Okay, your funeral. Does she leave? Then she turns into a snake and goes, uh, actually, you see her think about it. Please, Shia, please. I can do it really fast. She's like bouncing up and down like, I know it's been a long time since you've had family, but family sticks together and they do what they do. And we're doing this to bring back a family member. A family member and some random. She's bouncing up and down a lot.

She's fighting with a lot of emotions. Okay, okay, okay, fine. Fuck. I'll try and hold them off. Turns into a giant snake. I want to fight with the snake. So you're going to go to the barrier with her. Yeah, she's going back to the door. Yeah, she's she moves fucking fast in her snake form. She's like, bam, bam, bam, bam tux huffing and puffing. Not good for running. So yeah, there's a barrier and it's quieter than you thought it would be.

But the thunking is very loud shit and uh, it's getting kind of warm. To shit. Oh, fuck. Tuck takes his loincloth off. Man, I gotta air this thing out. It's getting spicy down here. That's bad. Now there's two snakes in this battle. The gigantic head of Shia snake form looks back rolls its eyes and looks towards the barrier. Guys, that was a pretty funny joke. Was it? It was a dick reference. It was a funny joke. We can all agree. It was a great joke. We'll put it on the board.

The chalkboard that we use for a dual's dick jokes. I just got to flip it over because we've run out of space. And then we cut back to Billy. I kind of want to be able to, can I bring down all the walls in between them? Yeah, that'd be cool. Oh yeah, sure. Try that. Then we kind of just have everyone in one big room. Yeah. Okay. He's going to stand in between all of them and raise his hands up and then lower them down and try and lower all the barriers in between all the demon cages. Oh, nice.

Yeah. Plus my wisdom. Yep. No problem to six there. Oh, I help you. I hold your hand and I touch the door. The door. Yeah. Yeah. 2d6 plus bond. Okay. Giving him some of that fairy magic. 11. Huge. We succeed. Yeah. Tell me about elemental mastery again. Yeah. So on success 709, I can choose one. I will have the effect come to pass. Okay. Yeah. The walls come down for sure. You lower the salt in between the cells.

Crumbles creating one large chamber out of four smaller ones, including Amma's original chamber. I'm like, fuck you salt and salts like, oh, fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck you, buddy. And you know, you brought down a bunch of walls in a cavern. There's more chunks of salt and on the far right of the four cells. A bunch of salt crumbles in off the wall, smashing the braziers, putting out the saffron fire and a young like maybe 17 year old boy who was kept in that starts to like writhe. Oh shit.

And his body is flickering in a different in different forms. I shove a fistful of saffron into his into his mouth. Okay. Defy danger dexterity. Holy shit. Whoa. 10. Holy okay. Fuck. Never mind my dramatic twist. He just runs up. Grabs a pile of half burnt saffron out of the brazier and punches his fist into this kid's mouth and he goes. I shove it so far. It's like in his throat. Yeah, walls it. No problem. Reflex. This is going to hurt you when I let go. Yeah. Yeah.

And the kid actually like yells a little bit and like smoke pours out of it. I know it hurts, but come on and he is he looks at you like thank you and you get a but yeah, you have like three other people with you. It might be a cool consequence of the ingestion that it makes them weaker. So it yeah, make our escape harder. Yeah, because theoretically definitely with Alma. The only thing that's kept him alive has been his possession. So now that it's being suppressed, he's like fucking fuck.

I gotta walk on my bones again and we don't know when the last time these guys like ate or drank was. Yeah. So like if they're human physiology is reconstituting itself, they might be like pretty fucked up. Totally surviving. On the smoke from saffron. Yeah. Okay, so cut back to the barrier with tucking Shia and now it's like sweltering hot down here.

Oh no, it's right in my fucking dick off down here and the Cobra actually backs up like coils into herself a little bit and gets away from the barrier. The heat peaks for a moment and then a red hot blade cleaves through the center of the door Jesus and step up and get away from the barrier. Stepping through you see a very tall humanoid shape made out of what looks like fired clay. Its body is very ornate and covered in images that talk you recognize as religious.

It has a face that is a wide open grimacing mouth and two blank eyes. The right side of its face plate is cracked and shattered in places and inside behind the eyes and mouth. You can see a flickering fire with the glowing red of the flames through the joints in its body. Is there smoke like pouring out of the eyes? No. Oh, it's smokeless fire. Okay. So is that a djinn or a golem? No, this is a djinn. Oh, it's a djinn. Yeah. So what I will tell you is that you've heard the stories of the djinn.

This is a djinn called Third and it is the third of eleven djinns that were bound by the god of the flame. And this djinn is known in most stories as being the djinn that killed eleventh. Oh. Fuck. And for many, many years it has been responsible for in some ways the security of the hearth and the martial training of the light guard. Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh, wow. So it's not an idiot. In terms of weakness, what would a weakness be for something like this? It's not fire? I mean, it's not water?

Unfortunately, it's not water. It's not as simple as water. Tuck puts his dick back in his pants. I mean, the only thing that Tuck has heard as for sure having killed a djinn is another djinn. Oh, man. Well, I'm no djinn. This would be a great time for you to reveal that you're a djinn, Tuck. Can you just rub, like, empty one of the music bottles and then put it in a bottle and it's stuck? Yeah. No? Is his weakness the Beastie Boys? It's Sean's weakness, that's for sure.

No, his weakness is if you say, I wish, and he stops in his tracks. No, no, no, no. So, Tuck, I think he's gonna try and talk to it first. Okay. What does he say? Well, he's just, he recognizes it and he sees that it's third and he's like, I'm gonna die. And then it's like, he's like, wow, holy shit. It's third. Big fan. I'm a big fan of yours. Huge fan. He says this as he's kind of, like, inching away. Yeah. He's like, great to meet you in person. I'm, I'm Tickleman Tome. The barbarian.

The barbarian. I don't know if you've heard of me. Look, man, we came in here to free a slave. We're not heretics. We got no beef with you, man. The torch is keeping slaves. He's made slaves of demons. And we just came in here to get someone and we'll leave. I guess I'm trying to, like, appeal to the fact that, like, He was bound to service. Yeah. It was like, look, dude, I'm sure you can relate. Being trapped and enslaved and forced to do a bunch of shit you don't want to do.

That's an interesting tack to take for sure. I think before I'm going to let you convince Third, you're just going to roll a Defy Danger Charisma to make sure that he doesn't kill you outright. So, yeah, the djinn is just standing there in the hallway. Great sword in one hand, the blade burning white hot. And he just doesn't move for a moment. Cut back to Billy and Ving with the other rescues. Yeah, we're further back. Like, holy shit. Who are the other two demons? Can we talk to them? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. You're going to tell me who they were. Yeah, I was. I was going to tell you who they were. So what do we think these other demons could be? What kind of demons would the light guard want at their disposal? So truth for interrogation. I'm going to say punishment is one of them. I'm going to say something that exploits his weakness. They have Umashusha here. Umashusha? Oh, like the original Umashusha? Yeah, I guess. Oh, the Afrit? No. So Umashusha.

So that was the other demon that the urchin kids were afraid of. It was the Afrit. Okay. Like the little demons made of night and hate that like tore you apart if you didn't have saffron. But then there was Umashusha who was like this woman who would like, it's actually like an Arabic folktale. In Egypt, it's like if you walk too close to a creek at night, Umashusha will come out and drag you into the water. And she's basically like she punishes small boys for like being reckless. Yeah.

For disobeying. For disobeying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's associated with water because she's probably drowned kids in the past or whatever. In Makal, she comes out of the wells. But she uses water as a form of punishment. Yes, she does. But she herself is punishment incarnate. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. Okay.

So punishment, Umashusha. So there were three other ones, right? Four total. Oh, shit. I'm going to say her name is Uma. Uma. And then the boy and a fourth one who looks like. A little girl. Oh, like a young girl. Like a five-year-old? Yazut. Yazut. Holy shit. Oh, Yazut? Yazut is a good name. Yeah. Yazut. So truth, punishment. What are the seven deadly sins? Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride. Wrath. I would love it if it was. Oh, the teen boy. Yeah. The teen boy is wrath.

The demon of wrath. That's cool. What's the teen boy's name? I don't know. Why not Yazut? Oh, did you want that? No, Yazut. Zane. Zane. Yeah, I like that. Yazut. We need one more demon for Yazut. Oh, mercy. Oh. Oh. That's cool. That's really cool. It's a little girl. They use it to contain punishment. Oh. She contains the rest. Like you've got like truth, wrath. She's containment. She's the containment system. Yeah. She compels mercy in the icons that are possessing the other people. Yeah.

Interesting. Also, mercy is like if like he would want to control it. Yeah. He doesn't want to give it freely. That's so cool that he like he wants to control who is merciful. He wants to be the most merciful. And who receives it. Fuck yes. Cool. Okay. So that is what we learn of these demons. Cut back to Tacoma Dome and Shia standing in front of a djinn. And tucks in that stance from Crocodile Dundee where he's like, he's got his pinky and thumb out. Yeah. Pinky and thumb out.

And he's like, the djinn has not said anything for a full minute. He's just like, tucks just like. He leans over to Shia and he's like, I saw this one time in a movie. Her little snake tongue flicks out. Sounding as echoing infinitely from some celestial well, you hear thirds. His voice rumble up out of his ceramic form. And he just says, my patience wears thin fool. And I'm like, I am sorry about that. But my point stands.

Are you going to stand by and let the torch keep a bunch of fucking slaves? Service is all. They serve the God of the flame as I do. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Oh, hilt with two hands wait um uh I'd look at the little girl can you can you do something can you talk to him it's like I I don't know I just ate that I ate that stuff I don't know if I can right now um I know that we freed you but I really need you to call upon mercy and talk to the jinn I'm so scared though I'll go with you and if they try anything I'll fight them back roll a defy danger charisma so plus charisma is eight okay great partial success that's perfect so she um she nods and goes okay okay here come with me and I I hold her hand and I walk up yeah she takes your hand and I go I walk in front of tuck with her yeah it's really warm here billy yeah my face is hot it's like standing in front of a blast oven yeah it sucks yeah yeah billy's hair just gets poofy immediately his volume increases by a factor of two billy your volume thanks maybe he's born with it yeah maybe it's smokeless flame and she stands in front of third who's tilts like it's gigantic clay head like just tilts down and looks at her and then she is not there anymore and instead there is the form of mercy what do we think a demon of mercy looks like uh uh like a white flag like white yeah I'm imagining like a cloudy like a white robed woman and I think contrasting this uh serene countenance she's pierced through with a number of blades like and there's blood staining her white robes whoa cool yeah and she is now face to face like eye to eye with third and she reaches up her hand and places it on his cheek and and a little bit of glaze on his terracotta yeah white glaze where she strokes him it's frost yeah oh interesting yeah and the room cools a little bit around her and his flame dims a tiny bit and she looks back at all of you and says go go wait she can't come with you I cannot why not mercy is a sacrifice and one that I will make for you go how can we make it up to you be kind this is your opportunity go okay oh fuck it was a seven to nine yeah yeah I feel so bad I start crying tech picks billy up and you just book I'll grab the old man and the other kid grab his hand great I start running around and I'm like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna run and I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die down the hallway yeah and um I think shia turns back into her like human form and she grabs the hand of like uma and you just you just run you run and then you get to the place that you were told was here is this like uh very non-descript door like if you weren't looking for it you would miss it and it turns into a spot where ving you can kind of feel through the essence of the stone that this is like the end of the foundation of the hearth like you're now inside the wall itself this is different stone yeah you turn into this door pass through the foundation of the hearth into the cool damp air and I think that's where we're gonna end it for this week I've been your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz so long playing ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers take care guys playing fat bully the halfling thief jessica tie bye everyone thanks to aaron reed for our incredible intro and outro music and thanks to our amazing supporters you folks out there listening right now you can find us online at Spout Lore most places we'll catch you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of breast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'm gladly is billy just crying quietly yeah yeah whoa that's the saddest fucking thing like just picking up your kid as they quietly cry a kid crying quietly is like so sad.

Because a kid cries loud when they're like I want you to comfort me. A kid cries quiet when they don't think anyone cares. They don't think anyone can comfort them. Well I told her she would be free. I told her I would fight for her. Can I, I mean like I don't know if it would undercut this like emotional sacrifice but can I tell you like an image that I was thinking like after you left Mercy? I think it's like she compels Mercy in third who steps aside and is like I will not kill you.

And I imagine her very serenely like hands in front of her walking through the hearth and everybody that she passes just drops their weapon. She's able to basically walk right out of the hearth. And into the Broken Shores. She goes to the Broken Shores. Why would she go back to McCall? She's a fucking demon. Oh right. So cool. What about the little girl? Maybe they have adventures on their own. Maybe it's the peace loving version of the Incredible Hulk.

She has her adventures traveling from town to town. This is a huge loss. This is like collateral damage max. Yeah. That we've ever incurred I feel like. But she's free. I guess so. I want to say that you all made this happen. I know. It's not your fault. It's just sad. It's just sad because either way she has still been in that jail. Cool up guys. Thanks for watching.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to I'm your game master Sean O'Hara And joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz Hello Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers Hey there Playing Fappily the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hi When last we left our heroes There was a good old fashioned punch-em-up in an alleyway Big takeaways from the fight with the Lightguard Tuck got fucked up I almost died Almost died But I also totally fucked up Fatim Did you ever I took out one of his eyes I took out one of his eyes Pretty much by accident I felt really bad For sure When he did it he apologized Ving attempted to use his mastery over the elements to throw some brickwork Catastrophe over the elements Basically collapsed a building With Cash still inside before he was rescued by Billy the Halfling Thief And then you escaped with the help of Shia the Garden Snake Who took you to their chambers in the garden snake?

To their chambers in the Siddel grounds in the lower ward And after discovering how beautiful it was and how much she lives in comfort and safety Her and Tuck had some words Yeah Tuck kinda like lost it Yeah Sort of a breakdown Yeah and there was a lot of discussion of the hardships they experienced and why they are justified in feeling the way they feel But Shia kinda seems like a shitty person Yeah she kinda does She's got this rich kid mentality that affects a lot of people She's got this rich kid mentality that affects a lot of the ways that she thinks And we ended that conversation with Billy deciding to try and bridge the divide by bringing Shia into a magically linked memory sharing chain Using Chamberlain's Rings In which we saw some memories of how hard Billy had it How hard Tuck had it And some tough times from Shia's childhood as well Yeah it's pretty complicated Yeah super sad Yeah Yeah And that is where we join ourselves now with Ving sitting quietly in Shia's bedroom as Cash sleeps Classic Oh hey guys you doing a cool thing?

It's over here chillin' with a wolf We were playing tic tac toe On the steamy window Squeak X Yeah And yeah so Billy is linking the hands of Shia to Tuck And you all sort of come out of this memory sharing Yeah I abruptly let go of you guys of Shia and Tuck And I'm just like look you guys are like the fucking same Just stop fighting Everyone's life sucks Ugh And I just go kick the balcony Nothing happens No of course not it just goes pat Billy take a breath So Tuck he's like not it's not totally fair though It's not it's not totally resolved for him Like he's like still mad but he understands gets it He gets it like Shia's fucked up too Like she had a hard time It's not super cut and dry Like rich people aren't the enemy maybe But maybe they are I don't fucking It's complicated Yeah But he's like okay I understand kind of And he uh looks at Shia and he's like I'll fucking hold it together it's fine Uh Billy you feel a little flutter Uh next to your ear Oh I catch a little bookworm Yeah Oman lands on your finger You're back What do you have to tell us?

The papery wings on him unfurl And you see delicate writing on the wings Oh shit I can't read Ving Yeah I'm sorry Oh What does it say? What's it say here? It's from Perel And it says is it safe? I'm good Farah teaching me silent word Should I come meet you?

Oh he should not meet us No he can't come here They I didn't really think about it But I guess the light guard really want him And uh he Oman furls in the wing that had the writing on it And unfurls his other wing which is blank And kind of flaps it a couple times Aww Hmm okay we gotta send a message back I grab a pen from the table behind me Here you go Ving Uh yeah he writes a letter back to him that he can't come to where we are And that he needs to stay put right?

What else do we want to tell Perel?

We're hiding In the palace In the palace Gonna plan how to like infiltrate the light guard or the hearth or whatever Yeah And that we have to tell him not to go home Oh yeah That we are all wanted And he probably knows that Stay put they're looking for you And that yeah the safest place for him is probably the library And you know like when you're like writing something down like on a birthday card And you start running out of room Yeah And things like running like cause you're just trying to get a lot of information on this moth's wings Flip Oman over right on the back of the wing Yeah Uh great yeah and he unfurls both his wings The writing that Perel sent you see is now gone Ooh And he just goes Bye forgot to kiss you but Thank you Be safe And he goes back to the sky and is gone And Shia is just like so we're hiding out sleepover Right Yeah Um so we just got a message from our friend Perel who he met Oh yeah bald guy Yeah Yeah skinny dweeb Yeah um so he's he's hiding at the Murghoni library Oh I feel like you should not have told me that Oh wait keep secrets I keep secrets that just seems like I've never I've never been there sorry anyways um so speaking of the library we promised the lady who owns it that we would do I don't know how to keep do I keep it a secret you guys I feel like we should tell her yeah we probably have to tell her okay well I mean if we're going to talk business we should get some lunch yes yeah yes good flash forward you're sitting in the arboretum around a very beautiful table that's been set up with food pinkies up yes what's every give me everybody give me one food item abdul uh tux eating a six inch party sub fucking hell what it's a submarine sandwich wait a six inch party that's so funny it's cut into a lot of tiny pieces usually only two inches long uh uh ving's eating a bowl of ice cream with a bunch of accoutrements and peppermint swirls on it hell yeah he's eating some feelings jessica billy's eating another six inch party the other half of the foot long yeah cash is there he's also eating six inch party sub and uh so shia shia's like thing you don't want you don't want in on any of this three foot party sub there's one foot left I'll have a bite okay great so what's this uh what's this business that you're doing I'm doing a business that you're doing I'm doing a business that you're doing I'm doing a business that you're doing I'm doing a business that you're doing I'm doing a business that you guys want and she jams so much of that sandwich in her mouth she does the guy fieri bite where she hooks her bottom teeth on it and then swings her mouth over and she's a snake like a huge bite yeah oh impressed yeah pretty good huh text kind of impressed too but for different reasons you spend enough time as a snake you know how to get a lot of stuff in there uh so what is this uh what's this job you guys are doing um basically farrah um my name is billy and I'm the founder of the business called the organic wants us to break into the hearth and steal someone back for her whoa her grandpa yeah whoa trying to take down part of the light guard in the process whoa that's yeah that's maybe a little bit of our own agenda yeah because they're kind of bad guys actually yeah that's fucking tight and cash is just sitting there wide-eyed looking at all of you you're gonna what we're gonna break into the hearth and fuck up the light guard I don't need to come with you right dude you're like the biggest liability yeah you are not invited no offense I agree hey none none taken thank you so much I'm gonna take this to the room and he picks up the party sub and he leaves he grabs two more feet of party yeah he grabs the remaining feet and leaves wow okay breaking into the hearth that's exciting I like that okay uh do you know anything about the hearth uh just that it is near impregnable we got some information on it oh yeah um so apparently there's a cart of bread that comes in uh I think in the morning and night and that's like that's one time that they open the gates yeah and we can hide in it maybe we also heard about the the we know the changing of the guard okay a midnight right every six hours every six hours midnight uh daytime midnight and a few days later we can go to work night and then the other two okay that's good information good information and then we have surveillance too surveillance tuck looks at vang um have you ever been out to the the moth cave no cavern no on the east the east cavern what's in there lunar moths oh that's where they sleep the hall of the king of moths wow that is so cool can I need you to teach me how to talk to animals we'll see okay all right that's I like this this is fun uh okay so you know I really want you to convince me to break into the hearth but it sounds like too much fun so I am in yes 100 sick I would yeah it really just seems like the kind of thing that I sent me into right away so no problems there uh the cart thing I don't love I'll tell you that much because like if you're gonna hide in a cart full of stuff and if they're worried about people sneaking in first place they're gonna check is the cart full of stuff sure maybe if we put a little bit of your paralyzing venom in the bread when it went out to the guards interesting interesting except for the fact that venom needs to enter the bloodstream you ingested does nothing oh no yeah that's a cool idea though I have a shit ton of other poisons do you have anything that people can eat and then get sleepy sleepy time poisons oh yeah you think you do the kind of stuff that I do and sleep comfortably through a night no sirree I just imagine like we think we're gonna go to the solarium but she just takes us to the medicine cabinet she's like yeah tylenol pm yeah this shit makes you drowsy uh yeah so that would be that would be step one is find a way to poison the bread if that's what you want to do that's a great plan really wait for the changing of the guard probably when people have meal time yeah and then not everybody's if I had to guess Sean O'Hara if Sean O'Hara had to guess not everybody's gonna eat the bread but a lot of people will so like there won't be no resistance but there if it was successful there would be way less resistance which is a really great idea so I'm gonna go to the medicine cabinet and I'm gonna go to the so the goal I guess would be to go to the east wind trading company talk to whoever manages the shipments or at least like sneak in and poison their stock or go to the bakery and poison the bread there oh we could get the ragamuffins they hang out by the bakery oh yeah um so we want to take that and then we need to basically sync up when the bread gets there to like the changing of the guard which I imagine is similar times and then that's a great idea yeah I'm gonna go to the That way we could maybe like get, we got to plan how to get in.

Yeah. I imagine that they went like the changing of the guard. It was like a breaking of the bread as well. And they would, the people coming on would bring the bread. They would eat the bread at this changing. And then they would discuss the, like what they need to, it's like a shift change. Yeah. That's really interesting actually. Yeah. I think like dinner time basically. Yeah, dinner time. You get your fresh bread. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Share it with the person that you're taking over for.

Use that opportunity to discuss the night's doing. Yeah. It's a cool little ceremony thing. Oh yeah. Like the person coming gets a loaf and then cracks it. You get half. We talk over the course of eating this and then you fuck off. Yeah. Yeah. There's a phrase in town called changing the guard if you want to go out for dinner with somebody. Oh cool. That's great. Do we also have to figure out where they would be keeping Amma? Oh yeah. Yeah. Totally. Yeah.

Which I don't know if there would really be a way to do that except get in there. Get in there. Yeah. Yeah. And then yell. But it's somewhere until they tell us. Should we wait to hear back from Perel about some stuff? Because he's in the library now. Can he find anything structural? Ooh. Interesting. About the hearth? Oh yeah. Because he's in the library. Can he maybe find something about the hearth? I mean Oman could like. We could have just added that to Oman.

Well he comes back to you, right? Like he stays with you most of the time. So he'll come back. Yeah. So that whole message that you guys send, Oman comes back hours later and you're like finally Perel's reply. Yeah. And he unfurls his. And then he's like, wait a minute. It just says K. K. That's good. And then Oman thinks he can sleep. But then we're like, we need you to do one more thing. And he's just like. Tuck looks at the terse response and he's like, him and Fer are fucking for sure.

Oh my God. Perel's definitely going for the 70 year old lady. Is Tuck all jealous now? No. It's kind of like, he's like, oh, it's like my uncle fucked my English teacher. It's kind of nice. Because you're like aware that they're both. Only. Good for you both. Yeah. Good for both of you. I might get a good grade out of this. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So you're sending back a message like, hey, can you learn anything about. About the architecture of the hearth and anything we need to know. Any secrets.

Great. So she's like, okay. So to recap the plan, she's pointing at a whiteboard. To recap the plan. Go to the Eastwind Trading Company or the bakery. Poison the bread before the changing of the guard. Synchronize the infiltration with the changing of the nighttime guard. Yes. Wait until they eat the bread and hopefully pass out. Get in and then find wherever they're keeping. Ama. Ama. Yeah. Break them loose. And then question mark, question mark, question mark. Oh, fuck.

We didn't figure it out. I mean, presumably back the way we came. Yeah. Skin of our teeth. Yeah. We'll get it. Yeah. I, how about this? Does it, if you, if you give me your blessing, I'm going to kind of be like a, like a floater. I'm going to be out there on my own. I'm going to be in there doing my thing. This is what I do. Can you clear a path on our way out? You better believe it. Cause you know what?

They are either going to see the garden snake or they're going to see a big ass snake and either way, they're not going to be prepared. So I should be able to clear you a way out once you get, once you get Ama. Thank you. Uh, okay. So yeah, that's the plan. Cool. Okay. We'll wait for Perel, your friend to send back whatever information he can find on the hearth. Yes. And then we'll rest. Right. She looks at you each in turn. We will rest. Yeah. Billy's already asleep.

Uh, party sub spread down the front of his shirt. Swammies. He ate more feet of party sub than there are feet in the total length of his body. Yeah. Yeah. Big and I are like looking at him while he's like snoozing. And then he climbed into a drawer and we're just like, no, this is party. So what is that? That's Burgum fruit. Where the fuck did he get that? Oh, I have a bush of Burgum fruit. Yeah. Oh God. He's going to have diarrhea. I wish you would have told us that.

You know what is actually kind of fun. I've been messing with them myself. Cause you know, Burgum fruit or indigenous to McCall. These are actually double bacon cheese, Burgum fruit. Oh, whoa. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious. It's a Wendy's variety. So it's square patties. Yeah. These ones are square.

Where ones they're just like cubes.

I don't cut any corners you know what I mean alright so we're gonna do a Spout Lore to figure out what's going on with the hearth yeah to determine if Perel's gonna be able to give you something good useful information okay so we're all napping or something Billy's fallen out of the desk still asleep and then I wake up to Amon landing on my nose that's exactly what I was gonna say there's a little worm on your nose yeah oh you're back yeah I take him I waddle over to Ving who's sleeping with his head on the wolf Ving wake up turn the heat up Amon's back can you read it what did Perel say and he unfurls so yeah I'm just wondering whose intelligence we want to use considering this is Perel do you use wisdom for Spout Lore I can if it's historical which the hearth is a building is historical historical means events who's got cause if it's if you say that it's a building is historical like we could make the justification that literally anything is historical Perel sent us back pages from famous prison break where someone broke out of the hearth okay I like that okay so that means that you get to Spout Lore and you get a plus one in addition to your intelligence no you roll wisdom instead of intelligence I roll wisdom instead of intelligence alright 2d6 plus wisdom Spout Lore oh nice 9 oh I will aid cause Billy can't read I guess this is shuffling through papers yeah Tuck is gonna aid cause he it's like the pages are in McCollin so he's gonna help translate some of the more nuanced aspects totally 7 okay great perfect wonderful so yeah they're going like these will reveal to you a weakness that previous escapees took advantage of and that weakness is if the underground prison is basically like cells dug out of solid stone what if there's like a crack yeah they've tried to patch it but it's a weak spot okay or waters grounded out a little bit yeah where does the crack open into a cave yeah okay into a cave and the cave leads out to I mean the shores makes sense yeah oh maybe that's why like people don't really break out is cause the only place to go is the broken shores where there are salt zombies and fucking like if you go out to the broken shores you're gonna be dehydrated and dead in like a day yeah okay cool so that is your potential exit strategy or is that how you're gonna get in I was thinking exit strategy cool it also lets us know where the prison cells are it confirms that they are underground totally yeah absolutely so you know that that's probably where Ama's being kept and maybe it's like in the histories like people talk about how like terrible the prisons were because the walls were made out of salt like so it's like a dehydrating effect also like what if they what if they like would torture prisoners sometimes and so like their wounds yes you're resting on the salt the tortures were like painful but minimum but then also you on top of that you're just writhing in salt all the time yeah it's like every abrasion just hurts so much burn you yeah content warning yeah for torture yeah okay yeah so that's what you learn you learn that legends say stories tell of an exit that empties out onto the broken shores which people do not use because that is hell yeah and yeah literally the hell of the religion of the flame yeah that's hell to McCollins so that is what you know you know the plan what now we gotta execute you right well you rest for a day oh yeah and a sun rises and sets on the hidden home of the garden snake and first plan poison the bread are you going to the Eastman trading company or are you going to the bakery I kind of go to the bakery yeah I think that makes sense okay do you guys want to do this yourselves or do you want to potentially outsource it to the ragamuffins I was gonna go meet up with the ragamuffins perfect so yeah Shia takes you out through the like the secret entrance that she took you in through and something to consider is that after that fight you are like wanted wanted there's gonna be people on the street actively searching for you when maybe we are in disguise yeah let's just say it's disguise let's say it's like you leave the grounds and there are like groups of light guard patrolling the street more than usual and you're actually see wanted posters with your faces on them that's not what we look like yeah they're really unflattering I'm not that guys because they made tuck look really fat guys be honest with me I didn't bulk this much right I mean no no you look great and then tuck takes his belly and he pushes all the fat in and he's like these are abs still right yeah those are abs I think they're abs he forces a bunch of folds in there look it's like an eight pack right if anything we should be glad that the poster looks nothing like us this can only help us amateurs my hair's not gray right guys you don't have gray hair and additionally the wanted posters say wanted for heresy and the bounty for each of you is a thousand coins oh my god we should turn ourselves in that's not a bad idea yeah uh uh you know what actually not that wouldn't be a bad break-in plan oh that's like 200 days of work I kind of like the idea if you were to offer yourselves up turn yourselves in somehow Shia offers us up yeah totally great idea in her like I'm not the garden snake look yeah and you could still do the bread thing because that would still potentially knock out guards yeah it's pretty good because we didn't have a way in we only have a way out yeah that's true this is fucking slick sick we see the poster we have our way in yeah yeah yeah yeah!

Perfect and Shia is with us and she's like you sure that's a good idea? We've had way dumber ways of getting into places dumber ways than offering yourselves up to be imprisoned in the most impregnable fortress on the continent? You'd be surprised yeah it's pretty good and plus that way we don't have to walk there also you might get 3,000 coins ooh baby I'm gonna throw it right in the desert whoa now what's wrong with you?

I haven't learned anything it's been like 10 hours you're asking me to change 65 years of development now I'm like in 10 hours I was gonna I don't know about giving 3,000 coins to the kids but that might be oh wow Jesus no that sounds that'd be bad for them I am going to buy a business that's bad for the economy of Nicole yeah um cool that's a plan yeah that's a great plan yeah cool I like that okay so still poison the bread yeah so we slink around and like alright guys get in get in into where?

Into the opening under the under the bakery oh we're shoving ourselves back into this yeah I don't know any other way in yeah and all the ragamuffins are there hey everyone who are you?

It's me Billy I take my hood down oh Billy I didn't recognize you with your hood up right yeah and also he's clean so I took take some like shit and just smudge your face I don't want that whoa Billy you're so clean now I know I took a bath wow yeah it was nice wow there's like a rolling wow through the kids um so uh wear a dress like this in disguise cause um I don't know if you saw posters there's a lot of posters looking for us yeah there was for you yeah they they did a bad job drawing everyone right yeah there was like a big guy big big fat guy with big belly and there was a scarecrow looking man and there was a little dog I didn't think that you were the little dog are you a dog?

No okay cool I don't think so I look at myself I'm like no I'm not a dog oh okay so you're hiding you need to hide out with us uh no we need you to help us out so we have this poison so don't eat it don't eat it okay you said poison I'm not gonna eat poison um and we need you to dump this into the bread pile that goes to the light guard okay great this is a connections roll for sure okay so uh 2d6 plus charisma seven holy shit yeah just so seven and nine on connections means you get something close to it are there strings attached you'll have to settle for something close to it or it comes with strings attached okay um I'll take something that's just close okay cool all right and we will decide what that is at a later date okay all right so the bread deal is on so that's happening the only thing that's left is for you to turn yourselves in I'm really scared you guys don't be they want us alive I hope oh yeah can we double check the poster I have the criminals ah great shake oh no hold them down oh Jesus is there anything we want to do before we go into jail I mean I stalk I got I stocked myself up on throwing knives and weapons so as you guys are like preparing to get turned in Shia's like have you guys been to prison before yes yes we've been in jails I think so is there a difference between jail and prison there is legally but we don't need to get into it this is technically more prison than jail this is actually more of like a black site than a prison or a jail um so when you were imprisoned or jailed did they take all your weapons yes they're probably gonna do this again no okay keep in mind shit you hang on to the spear then I will I'll keep it safe I think I'm still gonna take TLC cause I would rather have TLC in there somewhere than just not have it at all okay I see smart I just grabbed some rocks from the ground just like just start shoving them into your butt Billy what it's nature's pocket what are you doing what else do you have in there oh my god nothing okay good you gotta stop you gotta stop eating rocks one two don't shove them up your butt I'll never stop eating rocks uh okay yeah great so they'll just I'll just turn you in yeah they'll take all your stuff I need like a I need like a character right I can't just be Shia and I can't just be the garden snake I can't do my like it's me I'm here to turn in these criminals um we could do a thing where uh we like pretend to fuck up and like pretend to get caught yeah oh yeah instead of like her having to be like hey I'm a bounty hunter I got these guys which is kind of suspicious and weird yeah we could just be in a room in a shitty hotel and then she could just go tell them hey I think those three fugitives are in this room in this shitty hotel yeah cool yeah so you go to uh you're just gonna stay in a shitty hotel it's called like the moat yeah it's called the moat and it's like clapboard shit it's in the sticks it's just trash and uh it costs like one coin a night you're just sitting in this room for one it's got a straw mat on the ground and in the middle of the night that you hear the banging of boots like coming up the stairs what do you do we gotta pretend like we don't know they're coming I'm pretty scared act casual yeah yeah so uh just gonna just gonna stand in the corner and barf pretty casual alright so the yeah the light guard um like a unit of light guard like eight of them burst into your room what are you doing we don't need housekeeping thank you Billy pees himself oh no guys I think it's the light guard no oh no now we're gonna get arrested they're not even paying enough attention to think about what you're doing they just pile on tuck fuck start beating the shit out of them whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa stop hitting him somebody grabs Billy so yeah somebody grabs Billy by the scruff of the neck as you're slapping their legs you take it easy on that kid yeah I keep slapping he holds you out at arm's length I'm gonna get you manacle slapped on Ving's wrist and he puts his other wrist up you forgot one asshole manacle slapped on other wrist and tuck is like trying to pretend to put up a fight and he's just like hugging all the guys on him he's like oh no you're too strong taking them and pulling them off yeah he's like grabbing more people taking their fists ow ow fuck and he's like punching himself in the face and he's like I know I'm so hurt we're like you get them all off of him you animals I've been so crying so hard cause you hurt me man sounds like unbowed unbent unbroken oh yeah gosh you're tough they're actively actually trying to hurt you okay so 2d6 was constitution uh 8 9 10 11 there you go uh so what happens on an 11 on a hit you either take half damage or you can completely ignore the other I'll effect on a 10 plus you can also defeat expose or frustrate your oppressor with your stubbornness okay yeah I think that means that they they whoop your ass uh well they think they are so roll a roll a d10 oh no sorry oh fuck there you go that's one that's one yeah that's a percent it's a percentile die that's very confusing I literally don't know why they put the zeros cause it's a percentile you roll two at the same time and then it gives you a percentage Jessica fell asleep while I was talking she fucked right off don't worry I am used to this when people ask me about my hobbies uh I have one armor too yeah so they're whooping the shit out of you and you are not hurting at all yeah and they're by you know defeat frustrate or whatever they arrest you yeah and they drag you away and it feels by the frustrate they're like yeah we got him but they kind of feel like they didn't earn it like they didn't we got him yeah uh and they strip you of your possessions they're trying to high five each other and they're really weak high five like hey guys we did we did it is there a way I can hide some stuff in my hair that they don't find uh yeah I'd give you a defy danger dexterity to like hide one thing on your body and it could be the kind of stuff where like they'll as they're like patting you down basically you're subtly moving it around your body so they're not touching it cool is that a trick of the trade no you just need to hide it actually that sounds like it would be a tricks of the trade kind of thing um you're like basically pickpocketing yourself yeah reverse pickpocket so cool should I keep a a knife or a slingshot can I can I make a suggestion yes your lockpick oh oh yeah you're going to jail that's a good idea your copper pin plus dexterity yeah seven okay so on a seven to nine with tricks of the trade you still do it but the GM will offer you two options between suspiciousness suspicion danger and cost so I think it's going to be suspicion and danger you choose one oh uh suspicion whatever okay cool so what that is is uh they pat you down they take all your stuff uh and they take you downstairs and throw you in like a metal cart basically with uh bars on the side and they throw Billy in a little cage what and they lock him in separately why don't you hurt him that's our son you don't get to tell us what to do heretics and they slam the gate and you're just locked up in this cart guys it's okay it's okay we're still together should I get out of here will they know no no no they'll know they'll know you gotta stay in there it's so small in here I'm getting so sweaty Billy stop it no go to your croissant man go to your croissant buddy it's so hard to go to the croissant it's fine hey at least we don't have to walk there it's true and uh Bing and I are like and think about all the cool summer breezes that you have and then we start blowing on him it feels pretty nice yeah so we're just blowing on him to calm him down you hear bang bang bang stop breathing so hard in there eat shit and uh Billy language they slam on the brakes so Billy's cage flies forward and slams into a wall you fucking stooges you're gonna pay for that you're gonna pay for that and as they're driving through they're right they're taking the cart through town you hear like a bell ringing and you hear somebody definitely on the cart yelling out heresy heresy and people start going boo boo and there's like rotten vegetables coming through the cage what the fuck you're getting splashed with rotten food boo yourselves boo heretics you're like judgment judgment like all this really intense religious shit oh great yeah cast your stones you glass houses fuck you yeah you guys fuck you're ugly and as Tuck turns to say that he gets hit full on in the face by a rotten papaya fuck and after enough I can't have nightshade yeah you can't even wipe your face because they actually manacled your arms together in front of you they're basically just like like this like underneath your chin your fists are under your chin and your forearms are manacled together yeah it's very uncomfortable cool but they were like we gotta lock that dude's fucking arms down or he's gonna kill somebody and you get to the hearth you pass out of the like light of day into the dark of the gatehouse what time of day is it 3 p.m.

Oh yeah what time does the sun go down here 3 0 1 no what like 7 yeah 7 seems about right yeah so you got a few hours and as you leave sort of the ungated unofficial border of the lower ward you look through the bars of the cart that you're being kept in and you see in the quite near distance the wall that spans the entirety of the sunken harbor that the lower ward is situated in and at its center the hearth so what do we think that this this is the first time that we're actually seeing this so what do we think it looks like what if it was like modest long long!

And then over time sort of like the catholic church became more ornate oh right that's a great older stuff it's super simple and the newer stuff is like rococo yeah I like that that's really cool I had a thought too just aesthetically that some of it at least is like it could be very ornate if we want the woodwork to be but it's burnt like charred but still ornate some of it yeah and that's as a preservation technique you know it's a Japanese style of preserving wood and then also oh is charring it?

Yeah have you seen the charred houses? No that's so cool that's so cool that's really cool I also imagine it to be very sturdy like basically the great wall of China but going across the bay but you know sturdy yeah not like the great wall of China not like that piece of shit yeah like the better wall in China more like the wall of China yeah am I right guys? The wall of China yeah I will not take personal offense to this yeah whatever why would you?

Jesus Christ yeah so I think that the wall on either side is more we're not fucking around with the wall it's like solid cyclopean massive stone blocks uh huh yeah like all they're not yeah okay cool all the depth perceptions are all fucked up though they couldn't figure that out I imagine it like 40 feet high too like really tall oh like in Game of Thrones yeah totally yeah basically like the wall in Game of Thrones and the like oh the wall I was like what wall are you talking about?

The wall the wall capital T capital T capital T capital W the great wall of Game of Thrones and it's like when it opens like the doors are also that tall so it's like these giant like huge like they're 6 feet thick and then like we like the cart goes in I was imagining and then it closes with this like there's an opportunity for what the doors look like how they open oh yeah that's a powerful moment oh yeah I have an idea Jess has an idea well only cause probably I've probably done this before but the house in China that my dad has oh yeah so it's like one of those like super ancient Chinese houses where you have to crank the like the I don't know the chain the three story high doors open yeah it's this huge chain and that's how they open it they open slowly super thick doors it's like a fortress and they open inward like that?

They would I think defensively they would open towards the salt flats because they're trying to keep things out but those doors don't go to the salt flats right yeah doors on either side yeah so they would still open inward yeah cause you basically want two levels of door exactly between okay yeah so they open into the hearth yeah thick doors yeah and the rumble of the chains is loud like it sounds like each link of chain might be like as wide as a person you can hear individual like yeah yeah so the cart passes under the threshold of the interior gate of the hearth and the doors swing close behind you and slam shut the door and you're like oh my god oh my god plunging you into into the gloom of the interior with a finality that says you're not getting out what does it look like what do we see oh yeah so you look around what do you see of the interior I think personally that it's going to be a pretty stark contrast from the relative opulence of the outside the inside I think is probably a lot more oppressive right it's a because they're military basically yeah barrels lots of barrels ooh I think the inside is that old stone like there's not much of the fancy stuff and there's like torches that line the walls and in the center is like a great fire oh yeah oh so this is like inside is like a huge gatehouse uh huh like it's a big open area when you yeah of course it would be it's not like the gates are going to open into a tiny little hole yeah we're not in like a narrow hallway it's like got a lot of room yeah I was thinking a big courtyard yeah but the courtyard is totally enclosed so it's this big cavernous room wow I really like that that's why it's so dark because like the walls are so tall but it's even though it's so big it's such a weird feeling where it's like the middle of the day but it's the light gets lost yeah and it gets kind of cold because it's all old stone yeah ooh I wanted to say that I the barrels like there's a lot of barrels around and they're probably full of lamp oil yeah oh yeah and there's fire like the torches I really like the imagery of the torches like you look down to your left you look down to your right and like you see torches going all the way down into the distance yeah because it's both dark and like it's cavernous so eerie because fire light is it doesn't reach super far yeah so even though there's a lot of flame there's so many pockets of darkness and it's weirdly quiet in here yeah just that like of the sound of a torch yeah and the stone is kind of like it's thick but it's soft so it the footsteps are padded a bit it eats the sand yeah yeah yeah I like that and everyone's moving so slowly and so like kind of deliberately it's like pilgrimages to Mecca where it's like there's thousands of people here but nobody's talking it's weird solemn yeah I like it a lot military Mecca it is military Mecca basically yeah interesting cool very cool and you don't have much time to take in this towering structure before a thick bag is thrown over your head and they throw a big cloth over Billy's cage oh no and they you're like trying to feel where they're taking you and they take you on a very confusing route and you have no fucking idea where you are Tuck's trying to Sherlock Holmes it again okay I actually you know what so 2d6 plus intelligence so this is once we're in the hearth right yeah you're in the hearth you know that much but you they're doing it so you don't know if you're above ground below ground you know the worst cells are below ground but like who fucking knows where you're going okay yeah we're trying to I'm trying to Sherlock Holmes using my senses to feel it what is this 2d6 plus intelligence okay to defy danger oh shit 11 damn that might be the first time Tuck has ever succeeded at an intelligence based role hell yeah so good you're like using basically just your spatial awareness to remember the feeling of like descending ascending and you I'm smelling things I'm listening to things yeah you feel like you're you've been descending for a while after you wind back and forth in whatever circuitous route you can still tell you've gone down quite a ways and then they throw you in a cell they throw Ving in a cell and they throw Billy in a very small cell separate separate oh god yeah so you're you get the idea that you are very deep but if you had to guess you would say not the deepest okay but still very deep okay and you're all in cells alone total darkness are the bags off they took the bags off your head total darkness do they take TLC oh yeah they took those when they arrested you fuck yeah they took all of your shit when they arrested you except for Billy's lockpick in his hair um are the guards still down there actually just in realities 2d6 plus wisdom yeah eight yeah so you get one question what's here what is here that is useful or valuable to me uh so what is valuable to you is that you do hear you're like straining your little ears they're moving around like a dog and um you do hear boot steps away so you think what is useful to you is there are no guards outside your cell at this moment so if you were to try and escape you would be in like relative safely momentarily am I still bound oh yeah 100% oh shit can I try and just like break out of my my manacles defy danger strength to break your arms free okay uh 10 yeah you're able to like you hear like the creaking and then just bang as you snap it and then you snap the chains on your legs and you're able to move about freely they didn't hear that did they nope because the billy knows that there are no guards outside so nobody reacts to that momentarily I want to know what Ving's doing too uh yeah lick the wall to figure out what it is uh huh tastes like salt salt uh huh uh do I have manacles on you do yeah okay I'm gonna try I mean my own amulet move is to try and uh uh make needle this shackles into a pickaxe whoa elemental mastery but with metal oh it's iron shackles yes oh yeah totally yeah yeah yeah man with the iron fists oh yeah I was gonna say put them on as gauntlet fists yeah oh that's so cool that's a cool idea elemental mastery though and on a failure here we go ooh baby no failure's not in my vocabulary 26 plus constitution ooh nice ooh seven okay what's a seven to nine on elemental mastery uh I get to choose one the effect that desire comes to pass void paying nature's price retain control I kinda like the idea that you do that you're like bending the metal around you and trying to form it into a part of your body and it like latches on like both up both your arms and now both of your arms are just like coated in metal like the crystal like the crystal you're back here again is it in his body though or is it on top I think you're feeling like biting into your flesh ow kinda like it veined up a bit yeah totally oh and you're just covered in these like metal plates fuck wow and it hurts like a motherfucker actually give yourself a dextability if you think you can keep track of that if not we'll do something else yeah I can do that okay cool uh Billy yeah I will say this much uh you have that will-o-the-wisp move I know um I also have fairy child now mm-hmm mm-hmm this is a new day oh yeah um which I haven't rolled yet yeah can I do that now yeah so 2d6 plus charisma oh oh wow snake eyes shit you take one on a failure oh a failure is just you get one oh do I take a failure or anything yeah you still fail so you get the experience but you only get one point dang it I really needed that yeah okay um I also have a question do I have manacles or did they just throw me in they threw you in a cage they're like he's a little kid oh but also something's up with him that was the suspicion is they're like we gotta make sure he can't just move around anyway whatever I'm not worried I grab the pick from my hair mm-hmm and I go to unlock my cage uh are you doing this in the darkness or have you like in the darkness okay yeah so you're just feeling around yeah you feel the lock on the front yeah tricks of the trade 2d6 plus dexterity mm-hmm uh uh eight okay uh danger or cost um danger okay you feel the lock click on your cage and the little door swings open mm-hmm you got it you got this inside cage open you're out of your raccoon trap yeah uh but then you hear footsteps coming down the hallway oh shit yeah multiple footsteps actually you're like that's more than one person okay I I I go back into my cage but I don't lock it okay great yeah and um you hear like shunk and there's a little bit of light as a tiny little slit opens in the doorway mm-hmm and their their eyes peering in with like a lantern mm what do you want shut the hell up I didn't I didn't say anything what shunk oh fuck and then they walk over tuck you you hear the you hear people walking towards you so the so I can reach like the slit and stuff uh yeah you probably could okay and now there are footsteps in front of your cell shunk shutters open there's two pairs of eyes and a lantern I uh hork real hard and then spit out spit in his face whoa so disorient him with like this shitty move yeah you don't have to roll for that oh you just spit in his face this is maybe the worst thing I've ever done I think spit in somebody's face it's the most disrespectful thing I think you could do you literally gouged somebody's eye out earlier this today on accident yeah on accident it felt really bad yeah you severed your friend's connection to the thalmic field by accident by accident?

It was on accident again on accident this is intentional okay so I hork in his face ah what the fuck and then I yeah I want to use what are you waiting for uh when you cry out a challenge roll plus con on a 10 plus they treat you as the most obvious threat to be dealt with uh take plus two damage ongoing against them yeah so yeah I want to like bait him into coming here to try and beat me up because he thinks I'm still manacled uh no he can see you no I spat in his eyes oh no I can see you oh you're like as soon as he opened it I horked in his face oh I see gotcha yeah cool okay uh yeah roll it okay cool 2d6 plus constitution uh 710 damn oh yeah uh huge constitution I'm like you fucking light guard piece of shit you can't fucking do anything to me and you just hear keys rattling he's like oh you are gonna regret that heretic and you hear chunk chunk as he unlocks the door uh huh and uh the guy behind him is holding the lantern he's like make it quick uh oh we don't want to get busted doing this and uh he walks in and sees that you are unmanacled and goes wait hold on a second the guy behind him at that moment just drops to the ground and the lantern is just laying on the ground and he's like and the guy is just standing there in front of you his partner is now passed out uh he holds his hands up hold on and tuck just smacks him in the face really hard oh okay hack and slash well I failed mark experience what did you get 3 uh oh boy uh okay uh ving now that you've got this iron that's decided it's a part of your arms what do you do I guess he's inside there and he's so frustrated and he can hear tuck and he and he and he hears umna and then he hears bill and he's like I don't know what to do and he's still kind of traumatized for a collapse in that building and he just kind of like and like and he punches the door and he's like I didn't feel it I didn't feel a fucking thing so then he's just like bang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang that's cool I want I just want to defy danger strength that's cool as hell he goes fists of fury yeah what animal style are you using right now I am going kangaroo cheek god damn it no kangaroo oh holy shit damn nice uh I got a uh I'm gonna go with my strength is 11 yeah it's just multiple pits this and it starts the sound of it's like ting kong kong ting and then it starts like punching out from the inside sick yeah pong ting poong like the whole frame of the door like just starts like shifting yeah like struts are like popping off and then he puts his hands like open like face up in front of him and then he pulls them into his leg and then both of them boom from the waist yeah door flies off into the saltwater yeah and then he puts his hand like a ball directly across it travels like four feet and then hits a wall uh and you are free you see a little bit of light being cast at an angle from uh to your left the guy who's sleeping does he have keys uh yeah and you hear a commotion from inside as tuck is apparently fighting somebody yeah and billy uh so billy's gonna climb up to unlock his door okay tricks of the trade plus dexterity it doesn't matter five I am willing to say that you still get out but like stuff's gonna start popping off now like now you're in jailbreak mode you climb up you're feeling around you feel the lock yeah jam it in and you hear a little click and your door starts to swing open with you on it yeah I drop yeah and there's a light being cast you see ving standing there panting with metal arms yeah and you hear tuck in the cell next to you fighting somebody I sprint down to tuck yeah uh and ving and billy meet in front of tuck's cell there's a dude on the ground tuck's fighting somebody tuck what do you do okay I just missed yeah I think you hit him and he but he puts his guard up and takes the blow and you slam him into a wall uh-huh and he um roll a d6 five he gets a surprisingly good hit in like your ribs he punches you and it kind of hurts but you have an opportunity to give him a reprisal if you so choose I kind of I don't want to hurt him but I do want to lock him in the cell okay so I just like I want to kind of grab him by his clothes and then slam him against the back wall and get out and close the door okay divide and your strength five six seven okay you do that you grab him you just grab a handful of whatever he's wearing and throw him as far back as you can he hits the back wall with an oof and you can back out and billy and vinger there and you're standing on top of a guy that's on the ground basically yeah and I shut the door yeah and I shut the door yeah you feel him and then you're like oh my god I'm gonna die yeah you feel the guy start tugging on the door from the other side as they're trying to find the keys on the prone guard I want to pull it as hard as I can okay yeah divide into strength uh seven also okay billy and ving you find the keys like on his belt and you're able to oh my god oh my god which one is it as tuck is fighting with this dude on the other side of the door you lock it how big is the hallway really narrow it's like four feet wide tuck is like stooping basically mm-hmm and it's pretty long on either side let's go yeah yeah we bolt yeah and as you're running down you hear in the distance echoing down the hallway you hear wait stop and you turn behind you and you see a lone guard standing at the bottom with a lantern and he looks back up the stairs and yells jailbreak fuck and that's where we're gonna end it for this week shit I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz so long playing ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers take care playing fat billy the halfling thief jess gattai bye thanks as always forever to aaron reid for our amazing intro and outro music and thank you to you our beautiful susporters for supporting us around the world including patreon in which you gain access to a bunch of cool stuff including us just shooting the shit bonus games it's pretty fun come check it out and have a great rest of your time bye if you can enjoy your remaining years goodbye and so ends the tale of the halfling thief jess gattai and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spout more you

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart.

Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round friends, and listen close, for the tale's about to start. Shad's got hard big dick energy, it's crazy. It's crazy. Good evening, and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian Abdullah Zees. Hey what's up fat daddy. Playing Ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers. Girthy game master what you got.

Playing Billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai. Hi. She's just so proud of herself. I think something to consider is that Maybe people don't want to have to hear about it. All right. Do it again. Do it again. Yeah. Good evening, everybody. And welcome to the second run through of the intro for this episode of Spout Lore, because the last one was too inappropriate, even for our standards. Joining me as always played Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdulaziz. You're. No.

Playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdulaziz. Hi. Hello, everybody. Here's the boring intro where we don't talk about shine. No. Playing being the half out druid, Paul Loppers. The thing is that Jessica says she. I think it's just because. We kind of believe all this out. They're playing that Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica tie. Okay. My. And also I use the smallest. All the time. Cannot get it out. It hurts to put it up. That sucks. Yeah. So what you're thinking? Yes. Absolutely happened.

Okay. Yeah. And if you want to, if you want to hear the unedited version patrons. Too bad. Also, what do you do with a period cup that you can't use on your own? You know, you prank your friends, I guess. Sell it on the black market. Yeah. Use it for crafts. I would. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You make popsicles in it because they can turn them inside out. Are they silicone? Yeah. Oh, you can make like poached eggs. An egg can't fit in it though. Oh, God. Little guy. Oh, it's too easy.

Oh, a bunch of eggs can fit in there. This is the yolk. Yeah. Technically a bunch. Good. Jesus Christ. Okay. Here we go. Game time. When last we left our heroes, they had sprung a trap upon the famed garden snake of McCall. A fight ensued in which everybody was doing pretty well. Billy like lassoed her with a bed sheet. Ving trapped the bed sheet in the door. So she was restrained. She was trying to cut herself loose. Billy stole the knife. Tuck kicked the door off a closet.

Hit Ving who ping ponged the door into the garden snake. People were getting slapped. People were getting punched. People were getting thrown in pillowcases. People were also turning into 30 foot long King Cobras. She's a shapeshifter. She is a shapeshifter. She has what looked like a series of tattoos running down both of her arms, but are in fact the diamond pattern bands of the Cobra. Oh, that's her. Oh, her tell is, is the snake bands on her arms. Cool. Yeah. Cool.

Um, it was either going to be that I was trying to think of what her tell could be. I was like, maybe snake eyes. That's too obvious because I wanted it to be the thing where you didn't know necessarily. But if you looked her in the eye and you saw snake eyes, you'd be like, oh, she's a snake. Oh, she's either a snake or a vizier. Look into my cane. But that would be me. That's the best line in any Disney movie. Uh, yeah.

She turned into a 30 foot long King Cobra and the fight got a little bit scarier from there. Billy stabbed her through the tail. Ving held her down and then tucked through in a pillowcase. After the fight ended, we discovered that the spear that she stole from the apartment that belonged to Ving's father also belonged to her father because they are the same father. Jeez. Weez. She is Ving's half sister. Pretty cool. Cool. Family reunion. We're taking her at her word.

And when that was like being figured out, like in the middle of it, Tuck went into like Sherlock Holmes mode in his head where he was like, her father owns the spear and also his father owns the spear. And then it was like a family tree diagram that generated. And then he was like, but how can two men own the same spear? And then it's like, it started saying, it's like, maybe they're from different universes. And then he's like, maybe they're twin brothers who shared a spear.

This whole time we're talking about how we have the same dad. Yeah. You guys had already. Yeah. And then you like, can't you come to from your own like brain? You're like, oh, oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. You guys are brother and sister. Uh huh. And that conversation went on for a little bit, a little bit of detail here and there. Her mom was a merchant of some kind who used to make trips to the principalities in the great forest. She didn't say what for.

But if you think back, there's probably a thing that we've already seen. Oh, you mean the ironwood? The ironwood. Oh, that's why I've been in the elven forest to buy ironwood from the elves. Cool. And bring it back to the prince, to McCall, to build the library shelves. Cool. And okay. So things that we learned about the garden snake, her real name is Shia. She is hiding out with the Siddell family. The family that is responsible for the garden snake.

The family that is responsible for the upbringing of McCall's viziers. Uh, she is in her seventies, but she looks like she's 20, like late teens, early twenties. And she has basically just been, you know, behind palace walls kind of hiding out because they, she doesn't want to give away the fact that she's extremely long lived. Yeah. And she offered to let you guys hide out with her in her home because she found you and the jackals found you.

So it'd be pretty easy for the light guard to find you at cash. His apartment. His apartment. His apartment. His apartment. His apartment. His apartment. His apartment. Oh, and that was the other thing she told us was that the light guard hired her. Yes. To toss our place. Yeah. Basically to confirm that it was you three. Yeah. And hopefully Perel. And now they know Perel because they stole his journal. Right. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Damn. And they stole our roommate. Yeah. They kidnapped Cash.

So we've gone on a journey to go save him. Oh, yes. In preparation for this midnight clandestine meeting with the light guard to recover their friend Shia in her room. Your garden snake guys has agreed to wait on the rooftops above your meeting place with your weapons and drop them at the code word Baklava, which is not really a code word so much as a thing you all shouted as a non sequitur. And after calling out Baklava, you held your hands out waiting for your weapons to drop.

And there was a long moment where nothing happened. And that is where we find our heroes now. She fucked us. Fuck. And then your weapons drop into your hands. Ow. Do you guys want to roll? Should we be rolling to catch these weapons? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So it's all going to be dexterity. Two to six plus dexterity for everybody. Oh, hell yeah. Ten. Sick. Here we go. Seven. Okay. Nine. Okay. So Billy's the only one that succeeds outright. What did she take for Billy? Rocks? Yeah. My handful of rocks.

So they fall down like rain. And instead of catching them, I slap them. Slap them and punch them so that they ping pong off all the light guards who have cornered us. Cool. Yeah. Sick. So do I roll for that? We'll say what happens to these guys' weapons first. So on a seven to nine, partial success. I mean, I stuck out my moss hand to make it more dramatic. And it just went right through my moss hand. And so it's in your hand, but it's harder to use. Yeah. Yeah.

So you're going to have to do another defy danger if you want to actually use it. In an attack. Damn it. Yeah. Larry, Terry, and Chad. It falls most of the way and gets stuck in the wall of a building that you're next to within reach, but you might have to jump for it. Oh, fuck. What's the orientation? Where's the axe and where's Fatim? So Fatim is right there at that wall. So like what? 10 feet away. Yeah. Like 10 feet in front of us. So close. Yeah.

And then four faceless light guard mooks behind you. And then four behind Fatim. Okay. These guys look like they were pretending to be like tetherball hooligans. Oh, yeah. So they're just wearing like I heart bone crusher. Shiny shorts. Yeah. And there's a dumpster next to Billy. In my mind, I was just imagining a dumpster next to Billy. I don't know why. Cool. Yeah. And where's the axe? In the wall next to Tuck. Oh, it's just in the wall. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

She tried to drop it towards you, like give it a little push, and it went too far. And the stone cutting axe. Chopped into the wall. That's probably why it took so long for her to get it. Because she was ready. And then she looked down. She's like, how the fuck am I going to? It's a bunch of loose rocks. An axe and a spear. And they're like, 60 feet down. I can't aim that well. This axe is so fucking heavy, too. Yeah. So that's where we are. And Billy is in a position to attack right away.

So what does Billy do? Who are you going for? All of them. I have eight rocks. You can attack one of them at a time. No. I'm slapping the rocks. Okay. Fine. You don't get a fucking area. A dude behind me. Okay. He has a big forehead. Okay. Fat forehead. Seven. Seven. Great. So on a seven and nine with volley, you take what you can get, which means that you roll your damage and then roll a D4 and subtract that. Okay. Or you have to move to get your shot and you put yourself in danger.

I'm going to take what I can get. Okay. So roll your damage. Dang it. One. One. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay. And then, yeah, roll a D4. No. Wow. Wow. Oh, man. Bad luck. You roll a one on a one. Unfortunately, no damage. Wow. He has a really thick forehead, too. Yeah. So it's like bullet time. The rocks fall like rain. And it's just like slow movements as you connect with the rocks. They miss, miss, miss, hit a guy softly in the chest and it bounces right off. Dang. It just goes. My bunny hug.

He looks down at his chest and goes, huh? What was that? It's a rock. Okay. Normally, they kill people. Yeah. And yeah, they all start converging. Fatum lights up his axe. Bing, what do you do? Fight with honor roll. Enter a fight roll plus const. There we go. Twelve. And what do you get? Three hold or whatever? I get three holds. Okay. I can use them however I want. Do you want to spend any right now? Okay. I'll deal. My. Damage to a foe within my reach. Who's closest to me?

The guys behind you. Probably. Okay. I'll spear slap hand backwards. All right. One. What does this hit look like? I just kind of backhand him. Yeah. And he. I say, shut up. You a face. And you spend so much time telegraphing as you're saying, shut up at your face. When you swing, he actually just ducks his head back and you miss him. Damn it. No. Not even a glancing blow. Their training means that they have armor one. Shit. Yeah. And Fatum has more than that. Yeah. Tuck, what do you do?

Fatum starts coming. He starts stalking right towards you. Oh, no. He's like, oh, yeah. Dumpsters right next to Billy, you said. Yeah. So he wants to jump onto the dumpster, jump up and grab the axe. Oh, yeah. Bring it down on Fatum. Okay. So defy danger dexterity to do your cool acrobatics. Oh, yeah. Nine. Nice. All right. All right. So you jump up onto the dumpster, jump across the alley again, reaching out for Larry Terry and Chad. Grab it. Rip it out of the wall.

And then push away against the wall and then come down on Fatum. Okay. Roll hack and slash. 2d6 plus strength. 12. 12. Okay. I think the seven to nine is that he's going to get you. Roll 2d10. Five. Okay. Yeah. You do that. You bring your axe down and he is not terribly expecting such an acrobatic maneuver from Tuck. So you bring your axe down on him, catch him in the shoulder. Roll your damage. Oh, a one. No. Fuck. And he has your armor, right? Oh, yeah. Fuck. Yeah.

You he's he's wearing that cloak and you bring it down on his shoulder and you feel it hit something hard underneath and glance right off to the side. And as you come down, he's just holding his axe in both hands like a lacrosse stick and he bashes you right in the face with the handle. And you take five damage. Oh, whoa. Damn. Tuck. Billy, the melee is on. Ving is engaged. The foreman behind. You. Yeah. Tuck is between the others and you. What do you do?

I want to grab a rock and switch that for Fatim's axe. Wow. It's switcheroo. Makes sense. Cool. Yeah. Okay. So you pick up a rock and you just like will yourself to take the axe from his hands. Like I see Fatim smash Tuck in the face and I get really mad. I'm like, how dare he? So I pick up a rock and I chuck it and like in my throw it leaves and I catch the axe. So you don't take his full axe. What? Yeah. That's something that you've never tried it with something that someone's holding before.

But what you do get in your hand is a very slick and pungently smelly like little metal tube. And it's just in your hand and Tuck you see after a few seconds as you're kind of tussling with Fatim that the head of his axe goes out. And when I see that happen, I'm like, man, those things really don't work that well. Hey, and he's like slapping the bottom of it and just like, oh, and he gets angry. And I use the distraction to knee him in the balls. Okay. Hack and slash.

A real quick hack and slash. Yeah. Oh, holy shit. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Roll your damage. Roll damage. Six. Whoa. That was great. Really snuck that in there. Yeah. You hit him in whatever sort of armored like he it feels like he's wearing chain under the pants that he's wearing. Yeah. He's wearing an armored cod piece, but I feel it pretty hard. Oh, yeah. And he goes like and backs up a little bit. Ving. The four guys that were behind you and Billy are basically trying to surround you.

They've got their swords out at the ready. They're doing that thing where they're slowly trying to form a circle around you within the confines of the alley. What do you do? I'm going to break free from confinement with my chi. Perfect. And get on the outside of them. Can we do something together? Yes. Can I throw you the gross thing? Yes, please. And then you use your elements to explode a bomb around them. That's fucking cool. Yeah. Great. So I'll use my.

My second chi to get out of their confinement. Yeah. Up into. I use their. Because it's cool out here. So the breath. So I jump on their breath as it's coming out of their mouth. Oh, come on. Light as a feather. Yeah. I mean, you can even do a thing where like you're kicking off their bodies. You know what I mean? Like you're jumping up, kicking off one, two, and then you're on the other side. Yeah. So you're now like outside of the ring of them. Billy throws me the canister.

I grab the rocks from the hole that tucks out. Axe made. And I launch a bunch of flaming bricks at the guys. Pretty cool. So this is going to be elemental mastery. Yes. Yeah. 2d6 plus constitution. Come on. Big blammo. Oh. Big fail. Oh. Four. No. Shit. Are you on the side with Billy or are they between you and Billy? They're between. So you still pull it off, but roll your damage. Which is d6. Three. Three. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

On this side of the alley. Like you try to do this cool thing. Meteor shower. But what you do is you basically like the accelerant tube is pushed along and it explodes. And they all get hit with a bunch of burning gas. And so do you and Billy. So everybody takes that damage. Dang. And Tuck, you're tussling with Fatum. You knee him in the balls. He's trying to hit you with his ax. There's a huge explosion behind you. What do you do? Wait. Do I? I don't have my ax. Do I have my ax? Yeah.

You have your ax. Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay, then I want to take TLC and then just try and cut the head off of his axe. Yeah. Hack and slash. Yeah. Six, seven, eight. Okay. Roll your damage. Ten. Jesus fucking Christ. Oh, my God. That's a huge hit. Yeah. Just tell me what this looks like. You hit him hard. I guess I just swing the axe. He's holding it kind of like two thirds and one third. I slice right through the head of the axe, and then the amethyst spike on the back slices across his face.

It catches his eye. Oh, no. Oh, shit. You swing down. It's this massive swing. It shatters the head of his axe. The spike and the mechanisms inside just burst, and he is both burnt and cut on one side of his face. Oh, fuck. And he bellows in rage. Chunky monkey. No, it's like he's not even trying to be cool. He's not even trying to be cool and tough anymore. He's just bellowing like an animal. Yeah. And the four behind him are like, uh, uh-oh. Tuck feels bad about that.

And it's at this point that you hear a noise that reminds you that there's a secondary goal here, and you hear the voice of Cash in the building to your right screaming, I'm in here. Oh, no. I'm in here. Billy and Ving, what do you do? I have tricks of the trade. Okay. Yeah. So you run up to the door that's like between. You jump up and try the handle, and it is locked. Wiggle in my stick. Nine. Plus dexterity. Eleven. Bam. Huge. You work this lock like nobody's business. So fast. Yeah.

Cash, I'm coming for you. And Ving, I assume you're following Billy? No. I guess you're fighting that crowd of people. Yeah, I've got a crowd of people now, and they're half on fire. Yeah, they're like singed. Did I? And they're pissed off. Did we take my consequence for Elementor Mastery? You go. Oh, yeah. What was your? Miss. Oh, it was a full miss? Well, yeah. I got a four or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, something catastrophic happened. Mm-hmm.

Maybe part of the building that you're next to, like you manipulating the brickwork means that that building starts to collapse next to you. Oh, it speaks to the brickwork. Yeah. They're like, we're free. Fire Wi-Fi. Yeah. Like it's basically the building next to you is starting to crumble. Oh, my God. And that's the one Cash is in. Yeah. That is the one that Cash is in. So the building starts to come down at the end of the alley. I've really done it now. Yeah.

And Tuck, you hear this massive crash behind you as part of the wall falls down and the rest of the building starts to follow it. What do you do? Yeah. So Fatum is really mad right now. Yep. Can he see? Actually, probably not very much because, I mean, he's lost an eye and he has another one, but he also just lost an eye. So I imagine his other one's not working great. It's full of tears. Yeah.

So Tuck takes the broad side of his axe and he's just going to like fucking baseball bat Fatum in the head just to try and knock him out. Hack and slash. Seven. Roll your damage and then roll. Double 2d10. Two. Mm-hmm. And then eight. Yeah. You bash him and it's like he's so angry that he didn't notice, but he takes the shattered axe pole that he's holding and he just stabs it right into your chest. Fuck. I know.

He holds it back like he's going to throw a javelin and just jams it right into your chest. You're such a dick. Billy, you're inside a building that starts to shake around you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Lying on the ground in an empty room. Oh my God, Billy. Billy. Yeah, it's me. What the hell? What's going on? There's a fight outside. I don't have time to explain. Let's get you out of here. Okay, fine. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, 2d6 plus dexterity. Eight. You cut cash out of it really quickly as the building rumbles around you. Yeah. And just as you cut the bonds on his wrists and legs, the doorway that you came in through collapses. Oh no. And it's just full of rubble and timbers. What do you do? Oh, escape route. Oh, escape route. Yeah. Escape route's perfect. Five, seven. Okay, so what happens on a seven and nine? Seven to nine, I can stay or go, but it costs me.

Leave something behind or take something with you. The GM will tell you what. Yeah, you're like, okay, get up, get up. Come on, we're good. What's the escape route that Billy finds? All the timber and stone that's collapsed. It still leads to the hallway, but you're basically like leaping through the timber, holding up like crumbling roof. Yeah, nice. And you're like pushing cash through it. Like go this way, move your leg this way.

And you get out of the building as Tuck is wrestling with a screaming phantom. Got an X handle sticking out of my chest. Oh no. Ving. Ving's kind of freaking out because he went in the house to go find Billy and Billy's already out there with cash and the whole thing's crumbling. Oh yeah. Where you went to go, like where you were going is all crumbled and he's like digging through the rubble. Oh no. Yeah. Oh, the thing that you left behind is Ving. It's Ving.

So yeah, Billy, you run your hand across your forehead and think about. Oh my God, my luck is so good. And then you hear Billy. As the doorway that Ving went through crumbles. Ving, you're trapped in this building that's collapsing. What do you do? That I did to myself. I'm out here. Ving, what do you do? Shit. Shit. I'll use Liza's feather to dance across the falling bricks. Okay, cool. Yeah, you see like staircases that would lead to the higher levels in the building.

But they're just like, they already broke off. Yeah, it's just like little pieces of flinder. Yeah. Falling wood. Falling wood. The roof might be the safest way to get out of here before the building collapses. Nice. Plus dexterity? Yeah, 10. 10, great. So you do it. You dance along the falling rubble. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.

Okay, so you see like moonlight coming in through a hole in the roof as the building's falling down and you're jumping off bricks, jumping off pieces of wood, jumping off clouds of dust that drift across the alley. And you just get to the top of this and you're a little bit, too short to grab the edge of the rooftop. I throw my spear up as like a last ditch. It's like, and I have the rope in my hand.

And the spear is snatched out of the air and you hang tight on this rope as you're lifted up to the rooftop. The face of Shia, the garden snake, peeking in through the roof. The hell are you doing in here? I'm fucking shit up. I brought the building down. I think I might've killed Billy. Oh my God, what have I done? It's fine. Just get up here. And she yanks you onto the roof. We got to go to the other building right now. We're there. She runs, jumps. You behind her. Tuck. Screaming, Fatim.

Yeah, and he just stabbed me in the chest. Yeah, really hard. I should probably run away. Right? Yeah, at this point. I'm at like five HP. Oh my God, get the fuck out of there. That might be the closest you've been to dying like ever. Yeah, pretty bad. Holy shit. I mean, we have cash. We should go. Yeah, we have cash. Yeah. Okay. We got where we came from. Okay, yeah. I'm going to try and book it. Where's Billy? He's like behind you. He brings cash out of the building.

He's like, I imagine you yell. Yeah, let's fucking get out of here. Okay. Bing sees you guys down there. He's like, guys, I'm up here. Do I have to roll the bucket? Oh, yeah, because he's going to try and stop you for sure. Oh, fuck. He's like in berserker mode. So defy danger dexterity. Okay. Okay, well, 12. Fuck, guys. So he's like reaching out at you with his bare hands, and he's just screaming and growling. And as you run away, he's like, oh, fuck.

He's tripping over himself trying to grab you. And he drags himself forward a little bit, and then he just collapses into a pile, and you're gone and away. And we lose ourselves in the crowd of people emptying out of the tetherball stadium. Yep. Yeah. Gone and away. There's great commotion. Fire people are coming. Librarians are coming to put out the fire. Exactly. Yeah, it's a huge thing that you're very easily able to get lost in, and you disappear. Good God. Where do you guys meet up?

I guess like a couple streets over. Tuck just stopped so he could pull the axe handle out of his chest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it just clatters to the ground. You got a gaping hole in your chest. Can I put a poultice on it? Yeah. Do you have a poultice? I got one. There you go. What does that heal? Heals seven damage. There we go. Seven? Holy shit. And that's healing that basically will come like over the next couple hours.

Like he packs it, and you start feeling less pain, and then we'll slowly heal it. And Cash is like leaning against a, like, garbage can, just panting. You need to work out more. Nothing happened to you. Nothing happened to me? Oh, my God. You got tied up, and you're laying down. Just chill. I was dragged out of my home. I had a bag thrown over my head by, who was it? Was that the light guard? Yes. What? Was this, did I do something? No. Did you guys do something? Yes. Uh-oh. Oh, no?

I wasn't going to admit to that. What'd you do? Nothing. Nothing. What did you do? It was an accident, because I see Tuck looking at me like, don't. Stop. We're going to get evicted. Oh, shit. Evicted? I was dragged out of my home. They know where I live. I can't go home. I guess you should come with us. Where? Ving's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi, I'm Shia. She's like in her non-garden snake. Her hair's down, her veil's off, all that shit. She's like, hi, I'm Shia.

I would be happy for you to stay at my home if you promise not to tell anybody. And Cash is like, uh. He looks at the three of you. Sorry, pal. This is our only option right now. We'll make it right for you. All my stuff is in my house. It's fine. We'll get you new stuff. All my protein powder. You don't use it. I was so close to getting through one of them. Let's just go. We don't want to tell him that it was Tuck. There's mostly me eating it.

Every time he takes a teaspoon out of it, there's like six cups missing. Yeah. Yeah. And Shia takes you through. She takes you to the rich part of the lower ward. The sun is starting to come up now. And there's a really nice, beautiful park. Very well tended grounds. Even some like guards patrolling the park itself. Some people going to work. And she takes you to what looks like a. Like an old fountain works. And she takes you around the back where it's kind of obscured by a bunch of bushes.

And she goes, okay. You guys can't tell anybody about this either. Okay. Okay. Just don't tell anybody. And she takes her pinky and she pokes it into a part of the stonework and a little button presses and part of the fountain drops into the ground, revealing a staircase that goes down into the darkness. Oh, fucking sick. And the water from the top of the fountain sprays in like a huge umbrella that obscures the area surrounding the fountain as the back of the fountain works itself drops away.

Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Staircase descending into darkness. Cool. We head down there. Yeah. She takes you through what looks like a, it might've been like a smuggler's tunnel, something like that. Some sort of weird old disused secret entrance. Can I ask you a question? Like as we're walking through? Of course. Yeah. Like just why is there like all these underground tunnels? Oh, I actually heard something pretty fun about this.

So this goes to, this goes to my room, which is apparently the former, bedroom of a Sadell noble woman. And when she was young, she used to apparently use this tunnel to sneak out and meet her secret lover. Oh, cool. Yeah. So now I use it to get in and out because nobody knows that it's here. Oh, nice. Everybody just assumes it's a story. And you eventually come to another staircase that goes up to a stone, like a flagstone that she lifts up and slides to the side.

And you come out in a very beautifully appointed bedchamber. Huge four poster bed, beautiful silk sheets, many cushions, a chaise lounges, tapestries, paintings, flowers, like almost irresponsibly tall ceilings. You know what I mean? Like they're so high that her room is just got this like palatial kind of birdcage feel. Bing falls face down on the chaise lounge. Holy shit. This place is like the biggest room I've ever been inside of. Oh, this isn't the whole thing. What?

I thought this was the whole palace. Oh, no. This is just where my bed. That is. Wow. Yeah. So shy is just like, you all look beat to shit. What happened? I was kind of watching, but it was hard to see. I'm sorry, but being on the rooftop to keep an eye on you in that alleyway was not a good idea for a lot of reasons. I tried to do something out of my wheelhouse. I mean, causing a catastrophe is in my wheelhouse. It might be my wheelhouse. Yeah. There was an explosion. Oh, God. Was that you?

Yeah. I was trying to use. I was trying to use a fat. I'm a fire starter. Axe body spray. And it got out of hand. You brought down that building. Yeah. I brought down that building. That's so cool. Is it? I'm so sorry that you went through that, but it's pretty cool. How are you doing? She looks at tuck. I'm fine. Why do you ask? You're bleeding a lot. You look really pale. The poultice has come off a little bit, and there's just like a small, small pool. Oh, my God. I'm bleeding a lot of blood.

It's coming out with your heartbeat. Yeah. And I just pack it back down. I'm like, I'm fine. And what about you, little guy? Oh, I'm fine. Just, you know, just soot. I'm pretty used to that, though. Oh, this is just dirt. You're okay besides that? I think so. I mean, all my hands. She puts her hands on her hips. You want to take a bath? No. Oh. No. Oh, you're not a bath kind of? I seize up. And I'm like, no. Ving and Tucker, like, put their fingers across the throat. Like, no, no, no, no.

We don't use the B word. I just thought that I have, like, a really nice bathtub with, like, a lot of oils. And, like, soaps. No. Wow. Soap. Okay. All right. Okay. You don't have to take a bath. Please don't make me. Please don't make. I look at Tuck and Ving. Please don't make me. You don't have to. I'll take you up on that bath. Yeah. Okay. I'm glad somebody will. He pulls, like, soaps, eps and salts out of his flaps. You brought those to a fight? I bring these everywhere.

She basically has her own wing. That's cool. Of one of the buildings on the, one of the several buildings on the Siddal grounds. Wow. So we'll do a quick, she gives you a little tour of her wing of the building. So I want each of you to establish, like, a room that you come into, basically. Starting with Abdul. There's an indoor tennis court. But tennis isn't the same thing that it is in our world. Yeah. Tennis is actually. Highlight in this universe. So it's like. It's just another sport.

It's highlight. It's basically highlight. You wear a scoop on your arm and you whip a ball back and forth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, yeah, this is where I get, you know, some exercise doing what I do. It's good to keep my cardio up. Keep my agility up. Hand-eye coordination. I mostly do it by myself because nobody comes in here, but it's pretty fun. Hey, we're not nobody. Oh, my God. We should play. Okay. Yeah. No, we'll do that. We'll do. Should we do it? No, we'll finish the tour.

I'm getting the vibe. Not now. Not now. Okay. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. And she takes you to the next room. It's a beautiful solarium full of plants. Wow. So many plants. Crystal clear glass, but it's really high up. So it's like bouncing refracted light down from other places. Yeah. There's a little offshoot with sunstone. That's like a nursery for plants. There's growing cuttings and stuff under the sunstone light. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

There's tons of tropical plants and medicinal plants and lots of cool, like really old. Some of these and things just like, I've never seen this. I've heard that they exist, but I can't find them in the wild. He's going around. So impressed with all that. That's awesome. Crazy plants. And I would like to spend some time here and make some poultices and herbs out of this because I just ran out. Yeah, that's great.

So that'll allow you to basically refill three uses or whatever as you're resting here. And she walks by like some. She takes you to the cuttings zone. She takes you to the cuttings zone where there's a lot of medicinal and like poisonous herbs and stuff like that. She was like, yeah, this is actually pretty cool. I've had a lot of time to read about stuff and study. And I use some of these to make it so my venom isn't lethal. We got to scale back. Oh, wow. Yeah. Like I take them. I meditate.

I go in and out of my form. And now my venom is non-lethal. That's so cool. That is very cool. It's pretty cool, right? It's a paralytic now. Wow. I think that's so cool. Do you use poison as a thief? I used to. When I. I. I. Yeah. Sometimes. Do you want more poison? Yes. Okay, cool.

So I will actually for Jessica, for your sake, what I will say is that because you don't have poisoner, that just means that whenever you use a poison, if you fuck up a role, you're potentially going to poison yourself. It sounds about right. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. Because poisoner meant like as long as he used it once, he was safe from it. Right. Yeah. But not anymore. So it's all going to be like that situation in a little. Yeah. Pretty much. Or she's like, oh. What?

I could give you some of my venom. I look at Ving and I'm like, can I? I mean, if you want to milk her for her venom. I'll milk myself. Thank you very much. I do not need to be milked. And we move on to the next room, Jessica. Oh, it's like a covered patio ish that you just walk out onto. And it's like an outdoor reading area. And there is her pet. Oh. Can I give her a pet? Yeah, totally. Okay. What's her pet? Any ideas? I kind of want it to be like exotic. I want. Okay. Yeah.

Like one of those northern wolves, like from the northern. Timberwolf? Whatever you're from. Arctic wolf. Yeah, an arctic wolf. You know. Really big. It's really big and silver white. Blue eyes. Oh, man. Fluffy baby. Look at this guy. Like maybe. I mean, because I like an animal, but big. It's like, you know, four, five feet off the ground. It's a horse at the shoulder. Oh, my God. Like a pony. Yeah. Princess Mononoke. Oh, my God. You have a huge bear. No, he's not a bear. He's. Oh, it's in it.

What's a good name for a wolf? Oh, Wolfenstein. Half wolf. Half R.L. Stein. Slippers. Slippers is pretty cute. Yeah, sure. Slippers. Slippers three. Yeah. Yeah. She's had three wolves. Or three pets named Slippers. Slippers the third. Yeah. No, she's not a bear. And she runs up and starts like ruffling the sides of the wolves. Who's one of my slippers? Yeah. This is Slippers three. She's a cutie pie. I run over. She's cute. Yeah, she's nice. She's really nice. Wow. So big. Can I pet you?

She's just like. Thank you. Wow. So soft. Thick fur. Your hands just sink into it. Oh, Billy puts his face in the fur. Yeah, she's pretty great. She's really my only. She's pretty great. She's really nice to have around. She's so soft and comfortable. I lean over to Ving. I'm like, I think your sister's really lonely. No, that's not my sister. Oh, her. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Oh, right. You can talk to animals. You're going to talk to this wolf. Yeah.

Ving goes up to the wolf and lays down for a minute and exposes his belly to her doing great shit. Yes, you show me the proper deference. She bows low to the ground. You are a great tundra wolf. Thank you. I have roamed far from home to this sweltering prison. No, no, no. This sweltering land. But I am treated kindly by this young girl. How far you have found yourself upon these shores. I have. I know not how far. I crossed the ocean as a pup. And here I am. Many years later. You are gracious.

You are gracious to keep guard with this woman. I would protect her with my life. And I would too. For she is my half sister. And that makes you my pet. My half pet. Who's my slippers? You're my slippers. And she goes, I am. I am your slippers. And she scratches my head. Yes. Nugget, nugget, nugget, nugget. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. And Shia is just watching you go like. And her go. And now you're rolling around on the ground. I want to blow her a kiss, but make it like an ice kiss.

And she closes her eyes and her fur ruffles as she feels the icy winds of her homeland for the first time. Yeah. We are of the same place. She breathes deeply. And she is at peace. And she dies. Bing is re-traumatized. No, she's just having a great time. She loves you. And she and Shia is. Like, I knew it. I knew she would like you. I knew she would like you. She explains this to you. She's like, yeah, so the Siddels let me stay here. I just kind of keep to myself.

They bring me food every once in a while. I can ask for it. But they just make sure that nobody comes in here. And nobody knows that I live here. So the Siddels keep her inside their compound, which nobody else has access to. The Siddels are one of the richest and probably the most politically influential families in McCall. Probably on the continent. Probably, yeah, on this side of the world, for sure. What are they getting out of this arrangement? Yeah, why do they let you live here?

Like I said, my mom was a family friend. And she really helped them out. There needs to be more information than just that. Why? Because, like, that's all. Like, look at this. What kind of favor are we talking? Because fucking people suck, man. Like, I went to the soup kitchen last week. And, like, just because I had four helpings, they wouldn't give me a fifth. And it's like, it's soup. It's not that expensive. It's expensive. Like, how come I can't have soup?

You know, people aren't nice enough to give me soup. But they're nice enough to give you a castle. Like, there must be a reason. I see what you mean. Yeah, Billy's kind of starting to grasp the wealth disparity. Yeah. Are you hungry? Finally. Like, no one ever asks. And Cash is like, Billy, we ask all the time. Not enough. Not enough. And, yeah, so we're going to definitely get some food for Billy. But first, you were asking her, why do the Siddles care about you? What's the favor?

What did your mom do for them? Yeah. So, okay. Well, from what I understand, like, 70-something years ago, the Siddles had a kid who was being threatened in some way by somebody. Like, there was, like, some big thing. And the kid was, like, basically on the fucking chopping block. You know what I mean? There were people that were gunning for this kid. And my mom used her connections to help smuggle the kid out of the city and off the continent.

And then the kid later came back to McCall and took his place as vizier. Cool. Yeah. So she smuggled a vizier out. And it was, like, a huge deal. And because of that, she was a really close member of the family. And when I was born, they just, like, accepted. They loved me. Like, they loved her. And then my mom died, like, 50 years ago. And now I'm still here. I think Tuck's pissed about this. What? Why? Because he's just, like, I fucking spent years. Like, this is what's going through his head.

He's just, like, I was on the fucking street for years. And it's just, like, your mom saves one person and you can eat every night. This is bullshit. He doesn't. I don't think. She doesn't say that out loud. He thinks this, but he's just, like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah. You hear a vase shatter in the background. Everybody whips around. Tuck has nonchalantly just pushed a vase off a table. What? He's acting out a little bit. Don't worry about it. It's not even mine. I didn't put it there.

Great. Yeah. Tuck, you're bleeding a lot. I'm fine. Oh, yeah. Do you want me to take care of that? I get hurt sometimes on the job. So I'd be happy to sew you up. Sure. Yeah. That would be great. Okay. Let's go back to. To the bedroom, I guess. Wait a second. Everybody. Oh. Everybody come back to the bedroom. I wasn't sure if it was one of the bedroom memories that would be happening. No. Isn't your. No. What? Absolutely not. Anyways. So, yeah. Yeah. Please. Please sew me up.

I'm bleeding fucking so much. Yeah. You look back at the trail we've walked through, and it looks like a fucking. Slip and slide. There's so much blood, like more than tuck thought he had. Yeah. He's been touching so many things. You can see all of the things that he has broken as they've walked through her wing of this palace where it's like, oh, yeah, he's like fucked up all of those paintings and smashed so many things. Yeah.

You could see there is like a chest of drawers that he was handling a lot. So. He did something to that. He's got a lot of handprints. All the drawers are closed, weirdly enough. And as you're walking through, she's like, don't worry, I'll get somebody to clean this up. Good. And cut to the bedroom. Billy has gotten some food. What did Billy get from the kitchens? She looks like she's like vegan or something. So I just have like some dragon fruit. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. What's being doing?

He's sampling some of the edibles. Edibles from the solarium and his poultices. Nice. Oh, yeah. Bing is going to make some poultices. Great. And Shia has put Tuck in. He's on a chaise lounge because it's the only thing wide enough for him to fit on. Cool. And she's like kind of kneeling on the chaise lounge next to you, kind of leaned over your chest, and she's sewing up the hole. Maybe because Tuck is so like wide. Yeah. He's too high for her to like kneel down or sit down.

So she's like crouched on his chest. Yeah. Yeah. Like sewing him up. Yeah. You know what? Sitting cross legs. Yeah. You know what? She starts standing next to you and she's trying. She's like, you know what? And she just like climbs up on top of you. Basically. Bing's eyes narrow a little bit. And is kneeling. And she's got her knees on your chest, basically. And she's just so she starts sewing up the hole with like a hook needle. Yeah.

And as she's doing that, when Bing's eyes narrow, like I turned to Bing and I'm just I stick my tongue out and I like wink like this. It makes me look like a pig. Like a little emoji face. And Shia's like, try not to try not to move. I'm not moving. I could feel the muscles in your torso tense. Just don't move. Tuck is making faces and Billy's watching this happen. He's just shaking his head really slowly. Billy. Sorry. No. What's Billy doing?

Oh, I'm literally like I'm kind of just edging closer, like because I like Shia a lot. So I'm like trying to like I'm just laying nearby eating the fruit. Just laying nearby. Billy's climbed up on the chair. The chest. Yeah. She's got a bowl of warm water on your shoulder with like bloody rags in it. And she's just. Yeah. She started Sonia up and she's working the like hook and gut through your through the wound, slowly sewing it up. So, yeah, you're from a call, right? Yeah.

I'm from the sticks, actually. Well, whoa. Really? Yeah. Whoa. But you're so you still seem like somebody that'd be from the sticks. What the fuck is that supposed to be? I don't know. I don't know. You just seem kind of like clean. No, I wasn't going to say clean. I just mean, you seem like self-assured. A lot of people in the sticks seem kind of like beaten down, you know? Yeah. It's a real problem. That's what happens when like three families have all of the money. Yeah. Yep.

Do you ever get out into the sticks at night? Wink. You just steal from people up in the upper ward. No. What? Rifle through their apartments. Okay. All right. I see where you're coming from. But it was a job. I've got a reputation. It wasn't personal. It was just business. Sure. Yeah. I swear. I usually steal like nicer stuff. I mean, no, not nicer stuff, but just like better. Oh, my God. Valuable. Yeah. Yeah. Valuable stuff. Monetary value. Okay. But okay. Not just monetary value.

It's really fun. To steal something to like make a point. You know, that's really fun. Like one time I went into the house of this guy that owns a bunch of theaters and I replaced all of his like antique like scripts with a bunch of books that I wrote and they were pretty funny and he was pretty pissed about that. I just threw him out. I like Tuck is there's like so much going on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

This is everything that is wrong with McCall, where it's like some fucking entitled girl has been provided for her entire life, fucking steals and thinks it's funny. And I literally spent years of my life stealing to live. Yeah. While she was doing this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't. This is just like Tuck wants to be like fucking jokey and nice and stuff. And it's like being sister, but like fucking mad. It's weird. This is weird for him. Totally. Yeah. Tuck did say all this.

Oh, you just like confronted her about. Oh, yeah. She's she just like gets down off of you with like the gut with the hook on it. Just like hanging down on your chest a little bit. She's like, I. This is like. I didn't choose this life. You know. You understand that, right? Like, I didn't choose to live here. I didn't choose to have more. You choose to go out and take every night. Why would? No, that's not the point. That's not the point. The point is not to.

No, the point is not to, like, take it from the people that have it and give it to the people that need it. It's to take it from the people that have it and to tell them nobody needs it. That's it, right? Like. Yeah. Nobody needs it. Next time. You're in the fucking sticks. Maybe stop and look around. Maybe watch the kids. Look, I know. I bet. No. No. I bet you think this conversation is going to be like, you show me. You reveal the error of my ways.

And after 65 years of doing this, I'm going to have this revelation. Fuck. Why would I think that? Like, McCall's been like this for hundreds of years. People like you don't change. Like me. And then Tuck's just like. Get off of me. I'm already off of you. I established that already. You just want to bleed all over my room. Yeah. I'll fucking bleed all over whatever I want. Or do you not want my poor blood touching your rich stuff? No. Look. Tuck just starts walking away. Tuck.

No, no, no, no, no. You know what? You stay. You stay. I'm going to go. Okay. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm leaving the room. We're all going to go. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm leaving the room first. Okay. Hold on. Stop. Hold on. Hold on. Tuck was just going to the tennis court. Bing. I. Look. Come on. I'm not. I'm not as upset with. You understand. He came from the streets. I know. He's lived the struggle. You're on the other side.

He can't know what it's like and you can't know what he's gone through. I guess I just don't. I can't. I don't understand how I can look at somebody like that. Somebody that just has so much physical power and be like. Well, you know, he didn't get what he wanted and that's a real shame. It's not about the physicality. He's in survival mode. He's been in survival mode since he was a baby kid. You know what that does to a person? Turns them huge and soft at the same time. I guess. Sorry.

I don't know how to cut this scene. That's so fucking funny. Don't cut that scene. It's very funny. I just feel like there's a huge. There's a huge gaping wound in your life and you're filling it with other people's stuff. I guess. But like you got this kid. You got Billy. Look at him. He's like the size of like a. I don't even know. Like a big loaf of bread. And he can do whatever he wants. He's quick. He's fast. He's smart. He's got instinct. That's not always. That's not really true.

What do you mean? I'm a lot older than you think I am. And I've seen a lot more than you could imagine. There's a lot more. There's a lot more to a lot of things. I can show you. What do you. Show me what? Just what it's like out there when you don't have anything. Here. Grab Shia's hand. Oh. Okay. So I have Chamberlain's ring. And I'm going to do the thing where, you know, like with Chamberlain's ring, how I was able to get like Tuck and Ving to like see my memories. Yeah.

I'm going to do that with her. Mm-hmm. I don't know if I roll for it or not. No, I don't think you need to. Okay. Yeah. And then I lead her over to Tuck. Did you go to the tennis court? Tuck just went on the balcony. Okay. He just needed air. Yeah. He's really in it right now. Yeah. She's back. He brought him back to this raw child. Yeah. So yeah, she has a balcony that faces into the ground. So she doesn't have anything that faces out.

So you're looking at like other wings of the buildings and it's just fucking. It's like an enormous like this grounds. These grounds might as well be as big as the area that Tuck covered as a child. It's like the Vatican. Yeah, totally. And he's like, he's got, he took his ax off his bag. He's just like smashing random stuff. And it's like not making him feel any better because he knows it doesn't fucking matter. It's a penis of a fountain. Oh my God.

And then he feels bad about that because it was like weirdly mutilative. So he just smashes the rest of it around his murderous phone. Uh-huh. Hey, Tuck. Can you stop smashing stuff? You always tell me I can't just break things. Yeah. Okay. I'll stop smashing stuff. Okay. Do you have Chamberlain's ring? Yeah. And he like lifts his hand up. Okay. So I put mine on. Here, hold my hand. Okay. Um, Sean, I'm just going to show you what Tuck's talking about. I don't, sorry.

Show me what I don't understand. Just like close your eyes and hold my hand. Okay. All right. All right. I like visually that they're kind of played out like stained glass. Yeah. Oh yeah. Like the rings. Yeah. It's in the same sort of motif. That's really cool. So what's a memory that she sees of Billy's? Um, they're really early memories.

Um, it's Billy like after first, Bill, the first one after he dies and I'm like kicked out of the barn where I lived and I loved that barn and it was like so warm, so full of hay and there's like chickens and stuff that I could cuddle up next to. Um, and I had to go sleep in the fields and woods behind the village and I would be hungry. So I'd like eat whatever I could find in the ground. So I was always hungry and I was sad and I would watch kids at school play and I could never play with them.

And that went on for like decades. And then I'm going to show her some of Tuck's memories. This is a pretty bad one. Okay. Uh, so when, uh, like when we started the game, like we were like, Billy reminds me of someone I couldn't save and that was my dog. Oh, and it was like after he's been on the street for a year, like Bruce died and then like he found a dog like a few weeks later and the dog just followed him around. And then like it wasn't anything big, like you just didn't have a home.

He was on the street all the time. There's a lot of cards. Yeah. There's a lot of cards and like, like Tuck darted across the street. You look back and dog was dead. Shit. I go back to a memory of like, um, one of the, uh, harvest feasts and Billy wasn't allowed to go, but it was a ton of food, like tables of food. And when they're all done to make sure Billy couldn't get any, they burned it and Billy just like would watch. Fuck. There's a ton of books. There's a ton of books.

There's a ton of books. He has his locket, right? That's not the locket that he was actually found with. He tells everyone that it was the locket he was found with. But Tuck was cornered by Fatim. And Fatim stole it. And he threw it off the cliff. Into the lower ward. And when Tuck went down there to look for it, the light guard came down on him hard. Shit. So the one he has right now is one that he stole from a rich person. And put random pictures in.

He can't even remember the pictures that were in the original one. Wow, that's so fucking sad. Yeah. And you briefly get rendered in that stained glass a memory of Shia's. That is her as a young child, probably 11. She looks like she's 11 or 12. But as you see her… You see her at this age, you get glimpses of her mother aging. And Shia staying the same age. And her mother's eventually like bent and old and dies. And then you get an image of her in her room that looks a lot like this room.

Maybe less richly appointed at the time. And she's alone. She just sits on the bed. And then eventually she gets up. She picks up a vase and she smashes it on the ground. Somebody comes in, wordlessly cleans it up and leaves. She's alone for a bit longer. She pushes over a bookcase. Somebody comes in. Wordlessly cleans it up and leaves. And then there's just an image of her laying on her bed. Buried in it. This child buried in a massive sea of comfort. Miserable.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your guest, I'm your game master, And my name is Sean O'Hara And joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, his name is Abdul Aziz Hello, I'm Brown And playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, his name is Paul Oppers Hi, I'm Half-White and Half-White And playing Fat Billy the Half-Lake Thief, her name is Jessica Tai Hi, I'm Half-White and Half-Chinese Charlie, you said we had to do that I do not appreciate having this bit used against me You said we had to We had to identify to the listeners what culture we were so that the racist jokes that you were making at us would be okay That I'm making Everyone knows you always listen to an Irishman Yeah I'm Sean O'Hara and because of the way my name is people assume I'm 100% Irish And when last we left our heroes, we joined them in the throes of a home invasion, burglary situation Their home had been intruded upon by mysterious figures And after a resounding success, we were able to get out of the house and go back to our home After a resounding success in a breach and clear style ambush They discovered that the Jackals had sent three dopes to toss your place to look for information What was actually happening was those bumbling assholes were supposed to distract you from the real thief Some sort of gun for hire sort of situation A figure called the Garden Snake, a legendary McCollin thief Who was silhouetted against the moon, tuxedo mask style With Ving's spear in hand and then disappeared And then disappeared And then disappeared You were then placed in a confirmation gathering in the form of talking to a bunch of orphans You discovered that the Garden Snake may or may not be a noble who moonlights as a thief Cool And decided that the best way to get her attention was to pretend to be very rich people The way we did it is so indicative of the fact that none of us have money You bought a bunch of Saying were rich You bought a bunch of fancy clothes out of a pile from a centaur named Randy.

At a flea market. At a flea market. Like actual fleas in the clothes, probably. And booked yourselves a room at the Sun Palace Hotel, the nicest hotel in McCall. You guys always go to the nicest hotel in town, which I think is funny. We go to the nicest hotel in town and then… You do not pay. We never pay and then immediately talk to the mayor. That's like our standard move. Yeah. Yeah. Take us to your mayor or the best hotel, whichever is closest to where we're standing right now.

The only reason you haven't been able to talk to the mayor of McCall is because it's a monarchy. Yeah, but we're on our way. Yeah. Knock, knock, knock. Can we see the Shah? No. Would you like to be executed? Ask again. Okay. Fair enough. Do we ask again? This is a trick question. Is this a riddle? This is a flashback to a thing that we actually did. And you're… You're continuing to talk as a man slowly pulls a sword out of a scabbard. Do you want to be executed? Ask again. Wait. Do we want?

Who wants to be… This is a trick question. Yeah. Who would ask again to be executed? Can the Shah come to us? And then smash cut to… As you guys are running through the door. And there's a cloud of dust behind you as the guards chase you. They want the war.

And then you guys went to go spread the rumor that you are extremely wealthy people visiting McCall by roughing up a seemingly innocent cart of a man named Stitches McGillicuddy, who was apparently given a rough time to your old friend, Randy the Centaur. And it worked. And you decided to lay in wait to spring your trap on the garden snake who crept into your room in the dark of the moon. The vibe here is that we're meeting our older sister's coolest friend. Yeah, pretty much.

The one that we have a crush on, but we don't know what that means. Or it's 2005 Pride and Prejudice. And Mr. Bingley's come to propose. What scene does he come in? Near the end, he comes. Near the end, he comes. And then he's like… When I come, too. And all the women are in the room. And he's like, actually, I've only come for Jane. Could you please give us a moment? Oh, man. Man, that's… I've got to watch this. Yeah, Jane Austen is erotic. If it's one thing, it is hot.

And what we left on was you catching a glimpse of the garden snake in the moonlight. And the very hint of an upturned ear. Oh, right. Oh, and some elf. And some tattoos. Oh, yeah. And she is dressed kind of like a mix between… Chung Li and Jasmine. And that is where we are now. What do you do? I went to shoot first. Okay, so shoot first. Just means you get to act first. But what are you doing? While Billy was waiting, he made a rope out of some of the really nice silk bed sheets.

And so he's going to try to lasso like a cowboy. Whoa. Eight plus two is ten. Okay, sick. So where are you throwing it around? I am throwing it around her neck. Whoa. Holy moly. And what are you doing once you get her? I'm going to yank hard to tighten it. Not so she dies. I just don't want her right away. Yeah. And then I'm going to throw the end to… Whose closest tuck? I'm in a closet. I'm under the bed. Okay, to Ving. Yeah, she throws her hands like up around her neck in surprise.

But you throw it to Ving. What does Ving do? I'm going to grab the end of the leash that Billy threw to me and say, Hey, you want to go for a walk? And then I run into the bathroom. I close the door. Okay. Removing yourself from the fight. I don't like this, but I just did it. I'm locking the sheet in the door and then tethering her in on the spot and holding it. As tight as I can. Okay. Roll 2d6 plus dexterity. If this moves, I just got to tether her in the spot.

Because right now she's just free to run around. Wow. 11 again. Holy shit. Okay. Okay, Brandon. So your plan is to stick the sheet in a door. Yeah. Slam it. Lock it. There's a window in the bathroom. We're going to jump out the window. Go into the other room. Here we go. The thing is when Ving ran through the bathroom and got the sheet in there, Perel is in the bathroom and he's like, Let me know if you need me. As you run through. He's not come out yet.

So she's like, as this is happening, like Tuck and Billy, you see her pull a knife out like a bejeweled dagger with a long silver blade and she starts cutting at the sheet. Whoa, whoa. Now. And I'm going to grab it. Okay. Yeah. Try it. 2d6 plus dexterity. 12. Fuck. Wow. So how does Billy get the knife out of her hand? Well, one, he's very impressed by the gems and it's mostly because he wants to have a better life. Pretty. Yeah. I just yank it out. What do you think you're doing?

And she's not talking. That's the thing is like she's on the job. So she's just trying to get out. She starts pulling at the sheet, like trying to rip it. Can I spend a cheat to come around? Because I can I cross the distance between yourself and a foe bypassing all obstacles and I come into the other room on the other side. Yeah. Boom. I come into the window blocking the window that she came in. Okay. What's Tuck doing this whole time? I've been waiting. I've been watching.

These guys were like fucking shit up. Wow. Billy's doing great. Yeah. Billy. Yeah. Yeah. They're doing a really handling this situation. I imagine Tuck was like too nervous to come out. He's just like so. Yeah. He was probably psyching himself out. That's why he's been in there. Hello. Hello. Hey. Hi. Here we go. Don't you steal from my friends. Piece of shit. Nice veil. Would you get it? The shit story. Hey, sick pants. They make you your legs look like. Fuck. Clowns. All right.

So he's going to try to kick the door of the wardrobe off of its hinges at her. Okay. Sorry. Are you single? Okay. So Tuck kicks the door off the closet to knock her down. Four plus straight. Yeah. Six. Okay. I can assist. Yeah. Somebody can assist for sure. What if Tuck kicks the door, but it doesn't he missed like it hits. It hits Ving and Ving kicks it back. Like what the fuck? And then it hits her. It hits her. I like that. It's like a volleyball. Yeah.

He just did this like elaborate parkour through the window around the side of a hotel up on the top floor. Yeah. And has into the thing and then a door almost hits him and then he like punches it into her. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Roll your aid. Two to six plus bond. Oh, wow. Ten. So roll your damage Ving. Holy shit. Yeah. She's like still struggling against the thing and then the door fucking. And nails her. You hear the first time that she makes noises like, oh, and like hits the ground.

But as she hits the ground, she flicks her hand out in Tuck's direction and you see you don't see what it is, but it hits you in the chest and you look down and there's a little feather dart sticking out of your chest. It's in my nipple. Oh, fuck. And then you feel a numbness start spreading across your chest. Oh, shit. Can I wait? There's a move. For poison? Yeah. Oh, his unbowed, unbent, unbroken. Can I just like, yeah. Cool. Read it off. You need glasses, dude. I just hate words.

When you prepare yourself to endure some hardship without fighting back, roll plus con on a hit you either take half damage or you can completely ignore one other I'll effect. Yeah. That's great. Two to six plus constitution. Nine. So you just you feel this numbness start spreading through your chest. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, oh, I need to slap the dart out. Yeah. And I was like, dude, not cool. That was my nip, man.

And as you guys are bantering, like making jokes and stuff, she is not stop moving like she's rolled onto her feet. She's like crouched on the ground. Now, I think I want to use one of my older moves. Is it war cry where you enter a battle with the show of force? I shout a rallying cry or a battle dance. I'm sorry. I should have read this. Oh, my God. A battle dance roll plus charisma on a ten plus your allies are rallied and take plus one forward. Your enemies feel fear and act accordingly.

All right. I'm going to do war cry. Okay. To try and just be like, stop. Stop trying to fight us. Yeah. Seven. Cool. So I pick up the wardrobe that I was in and I throw it at the like at the wall near her. I'm just like, stop. So, Billy, you're like moving towards her to try and restrain her. She's like, got this thing around her neck. Tuck throws a piece of furniture and you're looking at her one second and the next second where she was is a 30 foot long cobra. What the fuck? What? Yeah.

A snake. She's a shape shifter. Oh, my God. I'm so jealous. And the cobra, you see the black bands that look like tattoos along her arms running down the length of the cobra. Oh. And the snake starts whipping its head back and forth and comes loose from the silk sheet. And now there's just a big fucking cobra in the room. What do you do? Oh, my God. I have that knife. I'm going to stab its tail down. Yeah. Hell yeah. 12. Fuck yeah. So deal your damage. Two. Yeah.

You said you wanted to stab the tail into the ground. Yeah. Yeah. So you do that. There's like a huge hiss and then the cobra looks at Billy. Yeah. And starts to like try to get her. And then you try and lunge it, Billy. Yeah. Come at me. But I don't want it to. I leap over the physical distance over the obstacle and I'm going to deal my damage. Do like jump around, like use its neck like a pole. So I'll like swing around and use that momentum to try and pin her down to the ground. Cool.

So roll your damage. Four. Okay. You pin it down and it's being held down from two points now. It's got a knife in its tail and its head on the ground and it's really bucking back and forth. It's a big one, right? Look at that. You can feel that she's starting to lose energy, but you got like one more. Somebody's got to do one last thing basically to make sure that she can't fully get away. Shit. I want to roll it up. Yeah. Okay.

So I pull one of those huge pillows and I like, like shake it out and I take the pillowcase and I just like put the snake in it. That's what I want to do. Okay. Two to six plus strength. Six, seven, eight. Okay. Roll a two D 10. Eight. So you take like as you're scooping her up, the snake gets a big fucking chomp on your forearm. Okay.

And it hurts a lot, but you've already resisted that venom and you can feel it trying to take purchase in your bloodstream before you just like shake your hand out and you shove this snake in this big ass pillowcase really wriggling around. It closes the pillowcase and he ties it off and then he's like, fuck. Okay. Okay. So yeah, Tuck's got this huge snake like bucking around in this pillowcase. What are you guys doing? Teeth went all the way through I think. Oh no.

I want to talk to her as a snake. Oh, okay. Yeah. My snake tongue. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Full Slytherin. What do you say? I say, calm down. Stop fighting. We are only here for the spear. Okay. So the wriggling stops and then Tuck, you can feel like in that instantaneous change, the shape of the lump in the pillowcase changes. She's not like a big, big lump. Yeah. She's not fighting to get out anymore. You get the idea that she's not going to try and run off. I go, are you a lady again?

And you just hear from inside the pillowcase, put me down. I just dropped the bag. And she climbs out. She stands up, she brushes herself off and she looks at Ving. Why do you want my dad's spear? Your dad's spear? Yeah. My dad's spear. That spear belongs to my family. That spear belongs to my family. I got that spear from my father. That spear belonged to my father. That spear belongs to my father. Holy shit. Wait a second. What's going on? Say it at the same time. One, two, three. I'm hungry.

We have the same dad. Dad, I think I was thinking that too though. But also I can't think about this on an empty stomach. We've got room service. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. She's all excited. She's like waving her hands around. Okay. I'll be back in 45 minutes. Ving's rubbing his eyes like, okay, wait, what? I would like a grilled cheese sandwich and a vanilla milkshake and I'll be back in 45 minutes. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Really quick. Really quick. Really quick.

Really quick. Really quick. Really quick. Really quick. Really quick. Really quick. Promise? Yeah, I promise. Pinky promise? Okay, yeah. I promise that I'll be back in 45 minutes. Sick. And so she walks over to the open window, and she kind of sits on the windowsill for a second and looks at Ving and is like, this is exciting. And then she tilts backwards out the window, and she's gone. Dude, your sister's fucking hot. You just back off, Chuck. Not this one.

Perel opens the door and goes, what's going on? Ving has a sister. Ving has a secret sister. And she's a nine, easily. Maybe an eight. And you cut forward 30 seconds as you explain the whole situation. Okay. And you just believe that she's your sister right off the bat. Well, I mean, she's got pointy ears. I've got pointy ears. What else do you want? A lot. Like, so much. You understand that this would be like me telling Chuck that I'm his brother because we're both bald, right? Oh, my God.

Oh, Chuck, you have a brother? Bro! You are such a loser! This actually makes a lot of sense. This is worse than being an orphan. Fuck! You guys are idiots. You know, I know that you're idiots, but you think that I would expect you to be idiots at this point. This is crazy. This is really fucking with me, guys. What if she knows where my dad is? I thought I put that behind me. Do you not know where your dad is? No. I thought he was like a king or something. Yeah, but he's out. He's a raven.

He's a ranger king. Nobody knows where he is. Oh. When was the last time you saw him? I was just a kid. I was like 40. This might be an indelicate question, but when did your dad kill your mom? I know around the time. I know the season. It was in the winter. It was in the morning. I just turned 100 to you. So you were already like a druid at this point. Yeah, which is why I think I saw it. My mom being a druid, we were connected that way. I felt that part of me go.

She gave me the gift of seeing where she was going and why she was going there. Where did you get the spear? Did you take it? My mom had it. She used it for hunting. It was just in the house. It was just like a walking stick. I just thought she had carved it. I didn't know for a long time where it came from. It was just by the door in the hut. And I took it because it was useful. And I had attachment to it. I was drawn to it. I always liked it as a kid. Huh. Wow.

And we can cut forward to 45 minutes on the nose. The garden snake returns with the spear and is just like, this is nuts. So this was your dad's spear? Yeah, that's what my mom said. Wow. What was his name? His name was Nathaniel. Wow. Death for short. Oh, that's cool. That's so cool. Oh, man. Yeah, my mom never told me his name. Just that. Just that it didn't end well. It didn't end well between them. But nothing ends well with Nathaniel. I kind of sometimes I wish I asked her more questions.

But what's your name? I didn't think of her real name. Okay. Let's think of the name. Do that again. That's really funny. Shia. Shia. Oh, yeah. Perfect. Great. Who was your mom? And she like turns the spear over and she was she points at it. And she's like, Fatima. She was a she was a trader. She was a merchant. She went over that way across the sea a couple times. And one time she came back with me. You know how that how that goes sometimes. Right. You guys travel a lot.

You know what it's like. I'm a kid. Yeah. Not you. These three. I think I don't know. I don't have. You know what? We don't have to talk about. It's fine. Yeah. And she's just eating a grilled cheese sandwich. Wow. So you're like, I don't know. I don't know if I. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't believe you. Well, we're both. She points at her ears. We're both half Elvin. Yeah. We're both. I'm I can change. I can shape shift. Can you?

I've given it up. Gave it up. What do you mean? Gave it up. Then he flicks on a fire in his hand. I've moved on. Put it out. That's fucking so. That's so sick. Can you do a lot of that stuff? Yeah. Can I see some? Not right now. He's really sad right now. Wow. Why? Well, he took his spear. I lead. I want to lead in and be like, he kind of gets like really moody whenever his dad comes up because his dad killed his mom. Yeah.

And he's got a lot of dad issues because he also, his dad also didn't go to his mom's funeral. Yeah. And his. Mostly the dad killing my mom thing. Oh, sorry. Yeah. You're right. I, hey, if this, I feel. Is your mom still alive? No. You know. Did my dad kill her? No. No. No. I. I don't think that your dad, I don't think him killing moms is like part of his thing. Could have fooled me. I mean, from what my mom told me, he has had a lot of kids, but you know, elves live a long time. But.

There's more of us? Human. Apparently. You're the only one I've ever met. I wonder if there's some of these runes are other people's moms. I mean, there's a lot of stuff about like his life on here. Have you, can you read the runes? I know a few. I know my mom's name. Okay. Well, where's your mom's name? Ileana right here. Oh, Ileana. I was wondering about that one. Wait, you can read the runes? Yeah. Can you tell us some of the other people that Ving's dad fucked? It's not.

It's actually pretty useful information. There's like, there's like a couple other names on here, but I should be clear. It's not just like a fuck spear. Ving, that's what you call your dick is the fuck spear. Oh, this is embarrassing. You know, come for a circle. I, it's just, it's like, it's like a history thing, you know, like here, this one and she's like, oh, I'm a fuck spear. I'm a fuck spear. I'm a fuck spear. I'm a fuck spear. I'm a fuck spear. I'm a fuck spear.

She points and like, this is when he spent some time in Panusia. This is when he went to war against the king of all birds. Like it's that kind of stuff. I guess this is his way of thinking he can live forever. I guess the unbreakable part was his lineage. He spread his seed over the goddamn globe. Yes. And I, you know what? And she holds it out. If it's yours, it's yours. You know, I didn't mean, I just thought. She grabs the spear with her hands around and closes her hands.

And he says, it's ours. I got chills. Did you get chills? I got goosebumps. Look at this. I got chills. Even my scales got goosebumps. You're shape-shifting right now. Look at that. Look at that. That's so cool. Yeah. No, I, I just, I took it because I saw a spear that looked a lot like the spear my mom used to tell me about. And it had my mom's name on it. And I thought, well, yoink. Shia, who hired you? That's not really. That's not really.

That's not really the kind of thing that a thief is supposed to give up. Look, I'm a thief, obviously. Okay. And I'm a pretty good one. And we're family now. I don't know. Listen, if you're not going to share it with family, who are you going to share it with? Okay. I don't remember the name. I never got the name. It was like an in-between, but I do remember they smelled terrible. Just like, you know, like it just is in your mouth. It hurt. And Tuck has moved to the window.

He's silhouetted against the night sky. Oh my God. And he looks at the hearth from the window and he's like, oh, Phantom. Is he, is this a thing? Yeah, he does this. So yeah, I don't know. They offered me a not insignificant amount of money to just dig around in your shit. So that means Phantom knows that. We're in town now. And he knows where we live. Yeah. Did you tell him about us and what you found? She kind of grimaces a little bit. Oh no. It was the job. I'm so sorry.

What information did he want? They just wanted confirmation of the, of the people that lived in that apartment. Cause they got word, I guess, from the jackals about a real ragtag group of misfits. A huge dude with a really crazy ax, a little kid that was like fucking sharpshooting people and somebody throwing around. Elements like it was nothing. I guess that was you. Yeah. That's cool as hell. Oh my God. I wonder if cash is in danger. Oh no. Cash.

Can we come back to what cash is doing right now? He's just doing dishes and he's like da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da nothing dangerous around me here. I'm so glad I'm boring. I love to be a normal guy. A guy that just works in an office. Nothing bad ever happens to cash. Nobody tries to kill me ever. Picture. Picture. Picture. Picture. Picture. Picture. Picture. As two hands come around his head. From behind and a bag is over his eyes. Oh, no. Yeah, sorry.

They just wanted me to 100% confirm who the people there were, what they looked like. I'm so sorry. You understand, right? They paid me to do a thing and I did it. Yeah, we get it. I got a reputation to uphold. People give you five gold coins, you do whatever they say. Yeah, five. Okay. Wait, what do you get paid? What do you get paid? Five gold coins a day. Each? Her eyes go wide. Plus expenses. And you kill people for that much money? We'll do anything. We'll do whatever you want. Wow.

Like, we'll do hand stuff, we'll do mouth stuff. I feel… And in Tuck's mind, hand stuff is fighting and mouth stuff is talking to people. So he breaks down the jobs. Wow, you… Hey, we'll do foot stuff. But it costs a little bit extra. You guys got to work on your business acumen. What do you charge? Minimum? Yeah, 300 coins. Whoa. A day? It never takes me more than a day. Wow. Your sister's rich.

Anyways, if anybody knows that you've met me, that you've seen me and we talked, tell them that I was really cool and that I was very somber and emotionless. And that I had kind of like a… Like a dark, mysterious thing, okay? Is that cool? Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Okay, thank you. Because like, you know, I've been around for a while. And if people know that I actually look and sound like this, they're not going to want to hire me.

Do the voice that you do when you're dealing with a client. Yeah, shape shift into your other persona. Yeah. Okay. And she puts her veil back on? I'll do… I'll pretend to be the client. Okay. And then he goes and he gets the orange bow tie he was wearing before. He just does it around his neck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hello there. I would like to hire you to steal some stuff for me. Sure thing. But it's not going to be cheap. How much? Five billion gold coins. Oh my God.

Well, you're worth it because you're like Garden Snake. And I know that you're really good at stealing stuff. Here you go. And then Tuck starts to, in this fucking improv scene, mind-boggling. One, two, three. And you see him count for… For too long. Yeah. And to the point where you count five and she goes, yeah, so that's pretty much what I do. And Tuck is still like seven, eight, nine, ten. And in his mind, he's like, I'm just going to think I'm so smart. I can count so high.

Keep going, buddy. Keep going. So do you guys like where you live? I mean, we like it, but I think Cash hates it. Yeah, I think he hates it. And honestly, I have a feeling we're going to get kicked out pretty soon. I mean, even if you don't get kicked out. But some people are willing to pay a pretty penny to know where you are. So you're probably not going to want to go back. We do have to go into hiding. Oh, I'm already in hiding. Oh, you're in hiding? Wait, can we move in with you?

Well, I think that would probably be safest. Wait, where do you live? I hide out with the Siddell family. You live with the Siddell family? I do. The Viziers? Mm-hmm. Nobody knows. Nobody knows except for the Siddells. Whoa. I'm a lot older than I look. How old are you? I'm half… I'm 70. I'm 74. 74. And I look like this. She looks like 20. So if, you know, it'd be pretty obvious who the garden snake was if there was a noble that kept going out that was alive for like decades.

So they let me hide out with them. And do you like do jobs for them or what? They had a… No, they just, you know, they… My mom was a family friend. Oh. Yeah. And they decided after she died, they took me in. How did she die? She was a human mom. Half elf kid. Aw. Yeah. But they're really nice to me. They don't know I'm the garden snake. So don't mention that. But if I said I have some friends who need a place to hide out, they'll let you hide out. Yeah. Oh, boy.

And probably that other guy, too. That'd be fun. And Baldy over there. Oh, yeah. Perel. How's the bisque? There's so much lobster in here. Cool. Just an incredible amount. Oh, it's just chules, actually. Chules? Chules. Chules. Chules. And he does that thing where he goes, blah. And he lets it roll off his tongue back into the bowl. So I assume that you guys are going to your apartment now to get all your shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So I wonder if there's any concern with it potentially being under surveillance. Like if there's people watching. Should I do trap expert? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Perfect. Great. Sweet. 2d6 plus dexterity? Dexterity? Yeah. Eight. Okay. Cool. Is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? It's like morning now. And the regular crowd has started to filter out onto Abu Dib Road. And you do see a couple unfamiliar faces at the cafe across the street. Whoa, guys. Who are they? Take a look.

But don't look. Don't make it obvious that you're looking. Just like, but three o'clock. One, two, three. One, two, three. Wait, do I go to my left or my right? It's to your right, you guys. Have you? Yeah. Yeah. Do you not know how to read a clock still? One, two, three. So, and. Your right or my right? Now, Bing and I are just staring into each other's eyes. Fine. I'll look. Okay. So, there's figures, unfamiliar. They're wearing robes. And they're sitting in our favorite spot. Yeah.

They're just like sipping hot drinks and eating pastries, but like looking at your apartment a lot. Okay. Maybe we should take the back entrance and don't turn on any lights. And you're looking around. And you're like, okay, guys. And Shia, who was with you, is gone. Oh. And when she decided that she was going to come out with you, she takes her hair down when she's on the street and she covers her ears so people don't know that she's a half-elf.

And she wears like sleeves to cover up her tattoos. Classic self-loving elf. So, like Princess Jasmine? Yeah. It's like Jasmine in the market kind of thing. Yeah. She's covering up all her identifying features. And you're watching these, you're looking at these dudes at the cafe and you notice the one closest to. The road that it turns down, like leans back and looks down the road and signals to the person that he's sitting with. And they both walk down the street away from your apartment.

Oh, geez. Do we see what he looked at? No. Out of sight. But the surveillance is gone? Yeah. And Billy is pretty good at watching people that are watching things. And they weren't like, oh, we're being asked to come over here and provide information. They're more like, what the fuck is that? Right. We got to investigate. Guys. Okay. Quickly. Let's go up. Yeah. Okay. They're gone. Go get our shit. Defy danger dexterity. Oh, nice. 11. Six. 11. So does anybody want to aid Tuck? I'll aid.

You're on your own, pal. Oh, okay. How's Billy helping Tuck? Tuck is still looking the other way. Still looking for the guys. And I just grab his arm. I'm like, Tuck, I said this way. We're going to the apartment. Look at all over the place. He's like, who is it? It's two old ladies. Are they fucking watching us? Are you three o'clock? Call 11. Nice. I see a rooster coming down the street. I was like, is it that rooster? It's not the rooster. Just come on. And I don't trust that rooster.

Billy's the rooster. Go run. Billy, get out of here. I'll hold him off. So Billy pulls me away from a potential confrontation in the middle of the street with a chicken. A chicken. Yeah. Yeah. And so you get into your apartment pretty safely. And Perel's like, okay. I'm going to go get my stuff. And he runs to his apartment. And you go into your apartment. And yeah, something seems off here. Where's Cash? It's his day off. Where is Cash? He's not in the apartment. That is one thing you know.

Discern realities. Yeah. Can we discern realities further? Yep. I start sniffing around and asking the walls. 26 plus wisdom. Man. Oh, yeah. Nice. 10. Okay. Three questions. What happened here recently? The first thing that you notice is you hear what sounds like a babbling. Brooke. And you notice water coming from under the bathroom door. Water. What happened? Fuck. Right. Oh, sick. God damn it. You don't often talk to elements. I forget about that. I'll leave them alone.

And the water's like, I was preparing to administer to this fine gentleman's aches and pains. And as I had just filled the cistern to brimming, he never entered and he never stopped the flow. I'm full of delicious Epsom salts right now. Rose oil. It's hard to cut off water. It doesn't use punctuation. Yeah. It just flows. Run on senses. Rose oils, fine salts and minerals to ease the aches of the day and wash away the dust of life. Did you have pale hands in you? I did. What happened to them?

They tested my temperature and found me too cold. So they warmed me up. And from there, nothing. I miss the gentle. Touch. I'm trying to think of more weird. Jessica's giving me the stretch it out. Yeah. The gentle touch, the warm oils from his hands mingling with the scented oils in my body. How long ago were the hands in you? I do not know the flow of time. Simply the flow of energy. But it was a while. I'd say I'm about 62 degrees. Yeah. Yeah. About 14 degrees ago. Yeah.

Like however long it takes to fill a bathtub and then have the water run out of the bathroom into the room across the hall. Yeah. We can figure that because of how many times we flooded the apartment. And usually it takes like two hours to get to the door. Yeah. It was already at the door. So I'd say about two hours ago. Oh, geez. I love. Yeah. No, we flooded the apartment tons of times. We know exactly how long it takes. Yeah. Floor's all warped. Yeah. So probably a couple hours ago. Shit.

Okay. Okay. Where do you think they took them? I know not. I know where I. I'm not talking to you, water. Well, you have two more discern realities. Yeah. You have two more. Okay. Who's in control here? It's such an easy clue, but it's so funny to me. Tuck, you walk in and you're immediately like Fatim. The smell. Yeah. He was definitely here. You smell the gasoline kind of smell that he has. And then you also smell just like the bully musk that you were.

So he used to from getting your ass kicked as a kid. He's in total flight or fight mode now. Yeah. It's just every muscle in his body is bulging. Yeah. He's just. It's like you don't even see him grab the axe off. It's just in his hand. Whoa. Fatim's here. Fatim was here and he's here. He's here coming out. He's coming for us. So it was definitely the light guard. I like that. He actually has axe body spray. Like we never put it. It's good. It's axe body. Body spray. Yeah. And holy shit.

It's really funny. It smells fucking awful. And maybe he after he fought Tuck because Tuck had the axe and he had that like flaming maze. Yeah. And Tuck ruined it. Maybe Fatim stole the axe idea and was like, I'm going to make a flaming axe now. Yeah. Totally. Axe is my thing now. Yeah. I'm the axe guy in McCall. That's great. Yeah. So when he heard that there was someone else in McCall with an axe, he was like, Tuck. Tuck's here. He's here. You're not.

That's the stupid logic that these two idiots use. It's like the last person I saw with an axe was Tuck. So it's definitely. It's got to be him. Yeah. So it was definitely the light guard and it was a couple hours ago. Okay. What's about to happen? So you're standing around for a little bit and somebody comes in through the roof and it's just Shia. Oh, don't do that. Tuck is so on it. You smash the ladder. Yeah. He immediately is just like, and he like, just.

Just breaks the wall again that he smashed before. Cash's other favorite poster. Yeah. Fuck. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Big guy. Calm down. Okay. So I took care of those two. They were light guard for sure. I felt kind of bad after I whooped their asses, but they were just going to give you guys this. And she holds up a folded letter. I'll read it. I open it. And it's basically like. We have your friend. We have your friend. Meet us. Yes. Outside. The tetherball stadium. The tetherball stadium.

At midnight. At midnight. Don't bring weapons. Signed by. It's not signed by anybody, actually. You smell the whiff of gasoline upon the parchment. I smell it. And I'm like, Fatum. Fatum. And I turned to Shia. I'm like, did you see a giant guy who was like me, but mean? No, no, no, no. Just those two dweebs. Okay. Do you know Fatum? Oh, big guy. Smells like. Oh, it was. That was him. The guy that hired me. Wait. What? Fatum hired you? Yes. I told you that. Oh, right. Yeah, that's right.

I gave you all this information already. Sorry. So his name's Fatum. Why does he smell like that? It sucks. Okay. He has like an accelerant in his mace that like. Mace. Yeah. He's like a giant mace that he like fights people with. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure he had an ax. Whoa. Did he copy you? He took your thing. That fucking piece of shit. I'm the ax guy in this city. In this podcast. Are you guys going to meet this dude tonight? I guess so.

If we have to. Okay. Wait. Are we meeting Fatum? There's no way he's going to show up on his own. Yeah. Absolutely not. Okay. I guess we have to go to the tetherball courts tonight then. Do you want me to come to the tetherball courts? No. Not with him knowing that. But yeah, we could use some secret backup for sure. I could kind of watch from the rooftops. Sure. Do my thing? Yeah. Cool. Oh, I got it. Yeah. No, I got you. I've got a… I got a… I hit you with my… Ha. I hit you with my dart.

Yeah? Yeah. In my nipple right here. And I bit the shit out of you too. Yeah. Really hurt. And it didn't do anything? I guess not. I mean… Wow. It's pretty tough. Cool. I am in a bulk phase right now though. And I have been eating a lot of… Oh, right. And he goes and grabs more containers of protein powder. They're all gone. What? They've all been stolen. You find a light dusting… No! That's a good protein powder! He's gonna be huge when we see him.

That son of a bitch is copying my bulk phase. Tuck doesn't really understand how human metabolism works at all. No, absolutely not. He's just like, I need to be a bit stronger today. Well, I'll eat some of this. No. Okay, well, I mean, it works on most people. So I'll bring some darts and I'll bring my blowgun and I'll watch from the rooftops in case you need any help. That's great. Cool. Bring this beer. I already gave it to you. I gave it to you. And I give it back to you. I take it.

I give it back. We can't show up with weapons. What? Did it say that? And she takes the letter and she goes, oh yeah, no, down here it says don't bring weapons. Okay. Okay, well, we'll just hide. Yeah. So obviously… If you come unarmed, it'll look like you're at the disadvantage. But if you got me watching from the rooftops with my blowgun, you will be at equal footing probably. Yeah. Here. And I take Terry and Larry and Chad off my back. And I'm like, can you take this?

And then if I need it, throw it to me. Okay. Yeah. I'll take all your stuff and I'll find a way to get it. I'll hide it nearby. Okay. I give you my handful of rocks. She's just holding them in her hand. Okay. And she puts them in a pouch. Oh, and I feel like this goes without saying, don't tell anybody that I can turn into a giant snake. Please don't tell anybody. Your secret's safe with us. Okay. I see what you did there. Don't do that again. I find that extremely offensive. Whoa.

It's like the N word for snakes. That long ass. Okay. All right. I'll be there. You won't see me. Wink, wink. But I'll be there. Thanks. Okay. Wait, can we decide on a code word that if I say it, then you throw me the X because it means I need it? I'm going to be pretty high up because you're going to have to yell it. I'll yell it so loud. It pretty much yells everything. Do you want me to throw it to you or do you want me to hide it where you're going to be? I want you to throw it to me.

I feel like it would be cooler. Look, if it kind of just like fell into my hands, it's going to be so heavy. I turn to these guys. I'm like cooler, right? If it falls into my hands. Totally. Yeah. You know the cooler move. Yeah. It's going to be cooler if it just falls into my hands. Oh, my God. It's going to be cooler if it just falls into my hands. Can you also throw my rocks because it'll also be cooler. I feel like you guys aren't appreciating how hard it is to leap from rooftop to rooftop.

I think I have an idea. And at the right time, I want you to gently place the spear in my hand as from nowhere. Okay. I'll do. I'll work on it. Okay. Thank you. Okay. What's the code word, guys? One, two. Say it at the same time. One, two, three. Baklava. Go go gadget weapons. Yeah. Baklava. Baklava. That makes more sense. Okay. Baklava. I'll listen for Baklava. And I guess I'll be above you. Yeah.

Just be close enough that you can hear, but not close enough that they can see you, but close enough that you can throw all of our weapons at the same time to us so that they just land in our hands so we can fight. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I just need you to be. You need to meet them. So at the tetherball courts, have you been there before? I have. Okay. Yeah. So, you know, like Centaur Boulevard. Yes. So, Centaur Boulevard. And then there's Brazier Alley.

Yeah. Meet them in Brazier Alley. Okay. I can do that. Okay. I'll be above you. I'll be ready to go. Oh, this is exciting. Thank you. I'm doing a team operation with my bro and his friends and a little kid. Yay. Hey, that's your nephew. Oh, my nephew. My nephew. Yeah. But I didn't come from like his penis. Oh, okay. Oh, like. Oh. And she looks at Vang and Tuck and she's like, oh, that's really. Okay, cool. This is sweet. I like, man, instant family, you know, like this.

Adele's have been like a family to me. But now you're like, actually, family. Fuck. Yeah. I like it. And she's just like, okay, get the fuck out of here. Go, go, go. Go. Here we go. We go to the Tetherball Stadium. And you bump into Perel as you leave the door. And he goes, they took my journal. What journal? They took my journal. The journal that had all your, like, memories in it? No, we gave that one to. Oh, wait. And she's like, wait, which one did we give? Which one did we give Margani?

Oh, that was the one that you made with Aquaria. They might have took the one full of my memories. Oh, no. Shit. It's gone. Everything's gone. They took everything. They took all my hats. They took all my mustaches. Why the fuck would they want those? Just don't fuck with us. But they know that I'm a wizard. Fathom does. Oh, no. He doesn't care that my magic's gone. What are they going to do with your memories? I don't know. They're going to find a way. Don't worry, Perel.

We're going to get back because we're supposed to meet them tonight. Really? Yeah. And we're going to fight. And we're going to get back your diary. Okay. I should not be there, right? No. Yeah, for sure. Okay. All right. Definitely in the way. Hey, Billy, do you still have the little guy in your hair? Oh, yeah. Oman? I just pull him out. He's on my finger. Reep, reep, reep. Can somebody tell him that I need to hide out in the library? Oh, sure.

And his little paper wings unfurl and he goes, flies away. Okay. So that's where I'm going to be. I'm going to hide out in the library. And you send word. When? When? It's safe. Good luck. Good luck, Perel. Good luck. I kiss him on the cheek. I kiss him on the top of the head. I awkwardly stand there like not sure if I should hug him or not. So we cut to the Tetherball Stadium, the sports district. There are some like late night games happening.

There's some rowdy folks on the street like, you know, drunk soccer hooligans basically yelling, making a big show of being out here. Did a game just finish? Yeah. One's like getting out. And one's supposed to start like late night. Those are the ones where all bets are off. Tuck is like looking at the like the cards outside the stadium to see like who's playing. So who are the two people that are in the next boat? Bone Crusher. Who's like a new hot Tetherball player. And Ironfoot. Ironfoot.

He's a player. He's got two peg legs that are made out of iron. Sick. Two metal sticks for legs. Yeah. And he it said that he lost both his legs playing Tetherball. Yeah. And he never stopped playing. She's rough sport. And I'm like, Billy, this is going to be a good bout. What? Billy's looking at a food cart. He's not even paying attention. What? No, nothing. Never mind. There's a guy roasting like walnuts in their shells. Yeah. Wow. I smell so good. Yeah. So hungry. Yeah.

I'll get you some of those walnuts, bud. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And you hear in the distance, bong, bong, several more times. It's midnight, 12 times. Night noon. The noon of the moon. And you hear from behind you, what's up, you chunky monkey? And I whip around. And there's a cloaked figure, hood pulled low over his face.

Darkness surrounding him. You look better like that. Yeah, I thought so too. Yeah, it hides your stupid face. Whoa, it's that little kid. I hate that kid. He stabbed like four people last time I saw you. Totes. And I'll do it again. So, you're in town, huh? Yeah, we came back. When did you get into town? I don't have to tell you anything. You don't even know who I am. You can't see my face. I can smell you. I smelt you like 20 minutes ago. When you got off the tram, you smell like shit, man.

No, you don't know who I am. Look at my cloak. It's pulled so low over my face. Okay, let's all say it at the same time who this is. One, two, three. Fadum. God, fuck. And he pulls his head down. Okay, whatever. Fine. And you see like the pole of his weapon sticking up over his shoulder. Your pole is showing. That's not all that's going to be showing. You want to see the head, big boy? Jesus. That was not. Jesus, man. No. Put it away, Fadum. I'm a fucking kid. I'm not here. I'm nine.

What's wrong with you? He's disgusting. Hey, fuck you. That's not what this is about. Where's our roommate? Oh, don't worry. He's somewhere safe. Where? And he's like, I'm not going to tell you that. But he is looking to the side. Is he here? Did you bring him? No. Why would I do that? Okay, Cash. Cash. Yeah, I'm here. I'm here. Shut that fucking guy up. Are you okay? Okay, look. You want this guy back? You got to come with us. What? Why? We want the wizard.

And we want you all to stand trial for what you did. Aiding and abetting a dangerous magician. I'm not going anywhere. Yeah, we're not coming with you. We're just going to take our friend and go. Oh, you think so, huh? You think it's just me here? Well, guess what, buddy? I got you right where I want you. And you hear footsteps as four members of the light guard, nameless, faceless, fill in the alley behind you. And four more arrive out of doorways in the alley behind. Fathom.

Good old fashioned. And I spit a walnut into his mouth. As he's talking. All right. Good old fashioned. 26 plus dexterity. I'm going to use the good dice because I want this to work. Six. Oh, fuck. I will aid. Okay. Well, what were you at? I got six. I got six plus dexterity is six. I pat you on the back really hard. Yeah. Okay. Gives a little more oomph. All right. Two to six was bond. Seven. Seven. Perfect. Seven. Okay. Yeah. So you're just like good old fashioned.

And he spits it onto the ground. He goes, all right, fine. And he reaches up and grabs his weapon, pulls it off his back. And it's a big, like brass axe with holes in the side and like holes along the edge of it. And he grabs the back and twists it. And the whole thing lights on fire. We could have talked about this before I whooped your ass. But now I'm going to whoop your ass. We only have. One thing to say to you, piece of shit. Yeah. What's that? What's that supposed to do?

And you all stand there with your hands outstretched and nothing happens. Thing. Your sister fucked us. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long. Playing Ving, the half elf druid, Paul Oppers. Bye bye. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica. Good night. Good night. Thanks to Aaron Reed for our incredible, heartwarming, soul-wrenching intro and outro music.

And thank you to all of you, our wonderful supporters who support us in a way that supports our hearts and souls. You can find us online at Spellore most places, including patreon.com slash Spellore. Thanks a lot, everybody. Goodbye. And so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution.

Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And free. You are gladly Spellore. So when do you want to do the gift? Oh, yeah. We should do it now. Let's do the gift. Gift first? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh my God, Jessica. What? That was a little gift. Gift. She got so excited. She barfed a little bit. Sorry. Don't barf on a gift. I haven't had much to look forward to except for this. Like this whole week. Not a gift, I mean. Okay. So this gift is from…

We got a gift from a listener. Oh, thank you, listener. Look, it says Spellore on it. A listener named Brendan from the company Fantasy by Numbers was kind enough to send us a box. So exciting. To our PO box, which we do have. Yeah. And the address is, if you want to send us stuff. 1013-2480 East Hastings Street, Vancouver, BC. Victor 5, Kansas 1, Zulu 1. Man, no one's going to get that. No. That's pretty standard. What the fuck? That's pretty standard phonetic stuff.

I know, but it was the first one. I think it's PO Box 1013, and then the address is 2480 East Hastings Street. Oh, I see. I don't know how to send stuff to PO boxes, so I… That's it. That's all you do. 10… Ah, fuck. Whatever. Just send it to PO Box. Just fucking send us a message if you want the address, and we'll send it to you in a text. You know what? Just send it to PO's box. 54 Hampton Road, Vancouver, Victoria. Who's that? Who's that? Me, Paul Uppers. Oh, Paul Uppers. Okay. All right.

I'm going to try it again. Send it to 1013-2480 East Hastings Street, Vancouver, BC, V5K1Z1. There we go. I think that one… I think… We're putting all these in. Jessica, we… The whole thing's going to go in. Jessica, can you please give us a thing? Yeah, one from Jessica. She's got a nicer voice. No, I don't. Do a read. Send to… Send to Spoutlor. Jesus. What? Wow. There's spit on your leg. Wow. We're jumping on Jessica here. We're jumping on Jessica here, guys. Yeah.

So I'm the only woman and everyone's interrupting me and telling me how to say the address right. Ugh. Oh, so sorry. Send it to 1013-2480. Sorry, there's a hyphen between those. Just listen back. East Hastings Street, Vancouver, BC, V5K1Z1. Cool. I think that was the only Z. Zend his presence. I think we all said Z. I said Z. I love saying Z. Can't get enough of it. I didn't even say the postal code. So helpful. Send to East Hastings, Vancouver, BC. You'll get to us. Yeah.

My dad still, when he's talking on the phone to customer service representatives, he still uses military phonetics. It's so fun to make up your own. So I can hear… I can just hear him like, okay, so the number is 2555 Victor Kilo Zebra. I was like, dad. Stop calling in bomb. I'm ready. Zulu Hotel Charlie. Jesus Christ, man. Cool. Okay. Yeah. Let's open this fucking thing. Okay. Everybody grab an edge. There's four corners. There's four flaps. Here we go. Paper. Open the paper. Oh. What?

Whose is whose? Oh. It's a variety is what they sent. They're eggs. Yeah. They're dragon eggs. They look like little mini versions of the eggs from Game of Thrones. There's dice inside? And they're dice. Oh my God. They sent us dice too. Whoa. This is sick. This. Oh, and they're magnetic. They're magnetic. Yeah. The tops are magnetic. That's how they look. Oh my God. Listen. Oh. It's the magnets. So what they are is they're 3D printed dragon eggs for holding your dice. Dude, who?

Look at yours is blue. Did we all pick the one we want? I told him I wanted unicorn colors, which I think… That's unicorn colors. That's unicorn colors. I don't get to use dice because I'm the game master. But you still get to keep one. These dice are fucking pretty. Oh my God. So I'll keep these ones if people don't want them. Didn't I get one that was Taylor and Chad colored? Yeah. Oh yeah. Is that this one? That's like copper and… No. That one. I think it's this one.

It's like copper and purple. And then yours is the amethyst. Oh, and one of them… Wait. There's also this one. Oh, there's another one. That one's like his hands. Wait. Why didn't he send five? One of them is supposed to be like cerulean depths as well. Oh my God. Oh, sick. I think this is cerulean depths. This one is the Ving one. Oh yeah. Is that one the Ving one? Yeah. Man. Brandon. She got so mad. I'm sorry. I just… Oh, so the 140 year old in the group is jumping all over. I'm sorry.

Jessica, that's the only time your channel's ever peaked in five years. Fucking Brandon. What did I say? Brandon? Yeah. Brandon from Fantasy by Numbers. Check him out online, I guess. Oh my gosh. He's kick ass. Yeah. This is awesome. We'll take a picture. Oh. Yeah. White ones. Come dice. Yes. Well, no. Gross. I'm sorry. What were you guys thinking? I was going to say, because he was… He was talking about how he wanted…

He wished that he had Mother of Pearl 3D printing stuff, but the dice are Mother of Pearl. Oh, sick. Oh my gosh. That's so cool. He's so nice. This fucking rules. I'm so pumped about this. That's awesome. I haven't gotten new dice in like five years easy. Are we using these today? Might as well. Yeah. Yeah. Look at these ones, guys. Wow. Oh my gosh. Those are so pretty. Paul, what are yours like? They are blue and purple. Oh. Amethyst. Oh, yeah. Oh my God. Awesome. They're stunning.

These ones are really cool too. This is sick. This fucking rules. Give me your bubble wrap. Man, it really honestly sounds like I'm playing it up for like ad purposes. I'm not. I'm so excited. We're not getting paid. This is fucking sick. We got paid huge. Look at this. Yeah. This is money in the bank. This is payment. These are dragon eggs. Yeah. You know how much we could sell these on the fantasy black market? No. Five dollars probably. No. I think he charges… Actually a lot more.

Oh, really? Well, I should hope so. They're like high quality. Man. This is really nice. Thank you, Brandon. Yeah, this is really nice. Thank you. Thank you so much. Brandon. Brandon, I said. Oh, right. Yeah. Oh my God. Those mother of pearl dyes are nice. I know. He was so nice because he was like, what would you guys like? And I was like, well, let me tell you. Look at this mint. I want impossible colors. I would like… I'm open to anything, but also I'm very picky. That's just… That's…

That's my favorite thing about Jessica. She always says, no, I'm good with anything, but she's one of the most particular people I've ever met. He also sent them twice. Yeah. They got lost or something like that. He sent them last Christmas and they got lost. Yeah. He sent them again. Very sweet. Somebody out there has got our dice and you enjoy them because these are awesome.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your game master Sean O'Hara Joining me as always playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai Hello Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers Hi there And playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz Hello That was me giving Abdul enough time to get back into his chair I had to put my phone away When last we left our heroes The party, to blow off some steam, visited the Summer Flower Bath House in the Lower Ward Everybody had a wonderful time Until Fatum of the Light Guard ended up in the same steam room that Tuck was hanging out in Yes Everybody got a variety of information We learned some inside baseball about McCall's political situation Right, from the hairdresser that we had Yeah, they won't shut up Yeah Tuck learned some stuff about Fatum and where he lives in the tower of the hearth And how often the guard changes are Yeah Then he passed out because of the gasoline That Fatum wears aerosolized in the steam room Yeah And then there was a bit of a fact-finding mission Billy went to go talk to his friends Who explained that there is a centaur trading company that delivers bread to the hearth And Ving went to go talk to a bunch of giant moths Marking their alpha, the alpha moth Yeah Moonshadow Top moth Moth daddy And getting him to agree to check out the hearth Which Ving will observe through the eyes of the moth And where we ended was the party having a nice kind of friendly dinner with Perel outside his apartment at the cafe that he lives under And where we actually left off was Billy seeing that there is a light within the dark confines of your apartment building Someone has infiltrated your apartment building And someone has infiltrated your home That's where we are right now Tuck's just like, fuck, there's someone in our house And I kick over Perel's hookah And I try to parkour up into the window Can I roll for that?

You absolutely can But I just want to be 100% clear that your decision for confronting intruders is to scream and charge at your house Oh, I'll take the back entrance so there's no escape route Oh, I'll take the back entrance so there's no escape route Yeah Okay I'm going to the roof Alright, I guess everybody's rolling So, okay, we'll start with Tuck You describe you're trying to parkour into your window Yeah, we're across the street at the cafe, right?

Yep I see like there's a cart in front of our building with a bunch of fucking turnips in it So I'm gonna run, jump onto the cart, and then try and make it to the window And when you jump on the one side of the cart, I'll jump on the other side of the cart, thus catapulting you up Yeah, trampoline double jump style Trampoline double jump style Okay, so defy danger I noticed that you said jumping hard Hard So you could use strength Strength Instead of dexterity I persevere through the jump constitution I charm my legs into jumping Yeah, 2d6 plus strength Okay 10 Okay Yeah Nice So, yeah, Billy, what's Billy doing?

Billy grabs two falafels off his plate as energy and weapon And he runs to the back door Okay, 2d6 plus strength Okay, 2d6 plus dexterity Um, 12 Damn, all right So, Billy does a little Are you climbing into the apartment?

Yeah, so fast and sneaky And then I hide just in the shadow All right, so Ving There's a bunch of mosquitoes fluttering around the torches that are lit And there's bats circling them and eating the mosquitoes And I'm gonna use my new move, light as a feather, to jump across the backs of bats onto the roof Oh, that's fucking sick Okay 10 Can you read the rules of light as a feather?

When you run across a surface that cannot hold your weight, a fucking bat, roll plus dex On 10 plus, you actually do it, gracefully and without trouble Fuck You don't need to know the rest No Because I've nailed it You do it So, what does this look like?

I land on a bat and they're very quick, still moving So, they kind of like, it looks like ice capades Yeah You know, quick Next one, next one, next one But twirling, landing, and it does its flight I'm gonna do it You're landing and it does its flurry thing and it go into the next bat, bat, bat, bat, bat, bat onto the roof Okay, you all do this You all burst into the apartment at the exact same time Well, Billy doesn't burst I guess Tuck probably is the only one that bursts Yeah, he actually hit, when he jumped the cart, he felt the axles both break And then he hit the edge So, you have a balcony, I've said, there's a balcony outside Okay Like, it goes to stairs So, you basically just tumbled over the balcony What?

Into your window And in his head, when he stands up, he's like, fuck, I wish people saw that one And you see inside, you see a light and a small lantern with like most of the shutters closed But you see the slits of light coming through the shutters, illuminating the faces of three youths I'm gonna just throw my ax at them, that's my instinct Whoa But I'm gonna throw my ax at the lamp to smash it Whoa So, everything goes dark Okay Do any of us have night sight?

No, I have light sight Oh, fuck Well, Tuck's doing this Wow Quick, turn the lights on Okay, 2d6 plus strength, I guess No dexterity, because you're trying to hit a specific thing Ten Fuck, okay So, you're trying to hit the lamp Yeah I see the thief's lamp and I'm like, you're in my house!

And I throw a TLC at the thief's lamp And you amazingly thread the needle between two of the youths and smash the lamp right up to them And you smash the lamp right out of the hand of one of them The ax carries on through the lamp and sticks itself in the stone wall in the back of your apartment Into Cash's favorite poster Yeah And smashes a huge hole in the wall, but stays in the wall And you just hear them go, whoa! Are you guys in there?

Yeah I came in through the, like, just the door of the apartment And I'm like, who's there? And it's all dark Yeah, it's pitch black, unless one of you turns a light on You can't see anything Ving comes down through the ceiling and flicks the light on with his shoulder But so that he's, he's got his arms crossed and he's leaning against the thing and he lights up And he says, what's up, fellas?

There's three people, young, dressed like ruffians, knives at their belts One is just holding the handle of a lantern And they scatter They're basically gonna run further into your apartment Like, they're gonna run in the direction of you Like, they're gonna run in the direction that you guys aren't Okay So they're trying to run away, what do you do?

Gonna throw the falafels Okay I don't know, like, I'm gonna chase them and throw it Yeah To try to stop them Billy's got a halfling, bro 2d6 plus dexterity Seven, oh my god, wow Nice Alright, again, because it wasn't a full success You hit the one with the handle in the hand that was, like, running ahead of them And then the one in the front tumbles to the ground And the one that was immediately behind him tumbles over him So they're, like, tangled up in the doorway But the one in the back leaps over the two of them and keeps running Where is he going?

I think he takes just, like, the first open door Which you know is the bathroom Did he close the door behind him? Yeah, that's pretty funny If he, like, runs into the bathroom and slams the door, tries to lock it What do you do?

There's no other way into the bathroom I was trying to picture the layout There's the window, I guess Outside Yeah Oh, man, I'll go back up through the roof Give me a defy danger dexterity to make it there Ten Yeah, so you do some real Ving martial arts shit Quick up the ladder onto the roof Like, leap towards the edge, grab the edge of the roof, swing down Into the window You kick him basically right in the face back through the window Yeah Because he was halfway through I love it And now you're in a bathroom with this youth that's been kicked over Billy and Tuck, what are you doing with the two that have tangled up in the living room?

I run over and I dogpile on them I jump on them Okay, again, I'm gonna say dexterity to get there fast enough that they don't have time Okay Six I'll help How's Billy helping? I don't know I'm slapping so much Amazing Eleven Yeah, I'm slapping them I'm mad and I'm like, how dare you?

Like, just walk into someone else's house Every time they try and get up No Get down No Make me waste my favorite falafel I've jumped on them so they can't get up Okay It's getting squished and slapped Incredible So And I'm sitting on the guy in the bathtub Okay And they're just, you know, they're giving you the usual, get off me, get out, leave me alone, get off me What's your name? What are you doing here? I'm not telling you anything You're not?

No I start putting his head in the toilet No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no It's not, I haven't flushed this in a week Oh, no, please I'm sorry, it's just What are you doing here? It's just a job, it's just a job If you tell me what you're doing here, I might let you go Yeah, roll a 26 plus charisma Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, okay? Okay Six Fail So what the kid says is he's like, I'm sorry, we were just supposed to distract you From what? Why?

For her And he points through the window and you can see across the alley on the roof of the building behind your apartment, silhouetted against the moon You see a very lean figure standing with your spear And then she jumps up in the air and goes behind the building and is gone What? My harpoon What? What the fuck? I flushed the toilet with his face in it You son of a bitch All right, tuck in, Billy, what are you doing? I'm slapping them Who are you? What's your name?

Ow, ow I'm not telling you my name, kid Tell me now All right, 26 plus charisma Seven Oh, great Yeah, I'll tell you my name My name's Umil Yeah, okay, why did you pause so long? Because I'm not telling you my name What are you doing here?

I'll stab you with this Oh my god Whoa, Billy, hey, hey Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa I'd separate them Billy, no They're in our house I know, but look at them They're losers Yeah, even better reason to do this No Whoa I'm like holding Billy back He's going nuts like a little fucking crazy joe He's swinging his knife around I'm just threatening I'm waving it around mostly Come here, come here So yeah, I've grabbed him and I'm like, you guys better fucking tell us what you're doing here Or I'm gonna let this psycho go And he'll fucking tear through your schnards I have perfect aim, you don't wanna try me Okay, Tuck, you roll a no 2d6 plus charisma There's a 10 12 All right Okay, all right, okay, okay We're just doing a job That's it, we're doing a job, okay?

What was the job? You guys might have met some friends of ours You might have punched him in the face Climbed over a wall, cut a big hole in the ground Are you guys the Jackals? Fuck yeah, we're Jackals, bro You think you can just walk in there and start knocking shit over And no one's gonna come and find out what you're doing? I come out of the bathroom These little fuckers were just distracting us While somebody took my spear What else did they take? I think… Who took your spear?

My spear is gone I don't know, some woman was silhouetted by the moon She took your spear? Yeah Well, that wasn't the job I'll tell you that much Where's my spear? Hey, I don't know what her deal is She's a contractor She's not even part of our gang What's her name? I'm not telling you that I come up with my knife Let me go, Tom Let me go I let Billy go Oh my god Yeah, let him go Okay, this is definitely…

This is charisma too, but in a different way Yeah I hold the point of my knife at his tiny little Adam's apple Fuck Oh god Yeah With charisma? Charisma Twelve The one that has been doing the most talking is like Okay, okay, okay, we don't know her name We just… They just… They call her the Garden Snake That's all I know, okay? What a stupid name Garden Snake That's all…

She's a thief for hire That's it Somebody wanted you guys checked out They wanted us to go provide support They wanted the Garden Snake to come in here and learn whatever she could Who wanted us checked out? What was their name? Our boss What's their name? What, you guys never heard of Jake the Jackal? No Yeah, we all… Oh man, that sounds like… What are you laughing for?

I'm just saying, I'm just saying I'm just saying, I'm just saying I'm just saying, I'm just saying I'm just saying I'm just saying, I'm just saying I'm just saying, I'm just saying Oh man, that sounds like… What are you laughing for?

Sounds like a kid's cartoon character It's like Jack the Jakeal No, it's Jake the Jackal It's because he's so animalistic and savage and ferocious He's the leader of the Jackals Jackals are the dumbest dogs Whoa, now hold on I'm willing to have my head shoved in a toilet But I will not hear you besmirch the good name of Jackals Yeah, well, let's see them What? No, we're not taking you to Jake, no I'm sorry Did you not hear my friend? And I just…

He's referring to his knife Yeah, my tiny little knife My little pointy friend here Okay, if we take you, what's in it for us? You don't get your throat slit by an eight-year-old, nine-year-old? This nine-year-old, leave your schnards alone So what, you want us to take you to Jake?

Yeah, because we're trying to fucking track down this lady that stole from us Okay I mean, the only thing I know she had, because I saw her with my spear, she might have taken something else Let's check our room really quick Discern realities? Yeah, it's a good idea Yeah, discern realities, great, good idea Ten Ten, okay, you get three questions Okay, what happened here recently?

Now that you have like the light on and you're not fighting people, your place has been fucking tossed Like, couch flipped over, drawers pulled out Yeah, your room has been completely tossed, like…

But it looks the same because it was a mess to begin with Yeah At first when you walk in, you're like, oh, she didn't come in here Oh, no, wait, that pile was over there I remember I remember I don't think too much would have been taken But I think you're definitely missing some coin, that's for sure Oh, those fuckers How much?

It's honestly not much, it's like 20 coin, 30 I'll kill them, I'll kill her Billy has no sense of scale No If you take one of our things, you might as well have taken all of our things Yeah The fact that not a lot of stuff was taken leads you to believe they were looking for something else Uh, what should we be on the lookout for? So you…

You're just looking around the house, like you're trying to look everywhere And actually on the roof, you go up through your roof exit And you find on sort of the lip of the roof You find a small wooden carved snake Calling card? Yeah, it's like a little kind of S shape Yeah Wooden piece Looks like the S in Scrabble Yeah, pretty much, yeah So, you now know that she…

If she only did this once, that would be a little bit more than enough That would be weird, this is probably a thing that she does a lot Whenever she robs somebody, she leaves a little wooden snake Okay Yeah As a thief, I'm embarrassed for her It's a rookie move Yeah, this is from the kid who not too long ago was sprinting out of a kitchen with two handfuls full of potato wedges Saying, I'm a master thief now, apparently Okay, you got one more question?

I mean, I guess who's really in control here? So, you get the… Based on what you know about the jackals, like the small amount that you've learned It would be weird for them to hire, like a criminal that has a name, a calling card, seems to be very skilled So, you don't even get the idea that the jackals are necessarily behind this But someone hired the jackals to work with…

The garden snake Garden snake But somebody asked the garden snake to take this thing Wonder if they had two things in mind Yeah Like the spear and something else Well, not even the spear, I wonder if the spear just like…

A lure Oh, yeah, for us to go find her That's interesting And that would make sense why she left a calling card Yeah Oh, yeah Well, we gotta find her then Yeah Always going to trap without it Yeah, so that's what you glean from the situation There wasn't much taken from your place She left a calling card, so she's not worried about you knowing that it's her And it would be very strange if you were to find her and you're like, oh, I'm not going to find her It would be very strange for the jackals to do this on their own So what to do next?

Well, I want to find this lady Yeah Tuck's like, maybe summer is the season of love for me Oh, my God He has walked to a window And perhaps it is the garden snake with her venom so poisonous who will slay my rotten heart And we're all like just watching you do this?

Even the jackals are like just staring at you I will find you, he says to the night I will find He says You say that out loud Yeah I will find you, he says to the night See, he's doing narration for his own speech now Yeah Is this the thing he does a lot? It's new So can we go or what's the situation here? No, you broke into our place What if we promise to never do it again? This, yes, thief's promise?

Look, okay, I'm gonna be honest, I'm gonna be straight with you Why would I want to come back here anyways? Look at you I didn't know that it was gonna be like this I didn't know there was gonna be like a stabby little kid Some sort of monster man and a man who is monstrous Thanks I'm in a book phase right now And then I take out some protein powder and I scoop a handful Now, when you say two, I mean, I'm not saying two Now, when you say take out, what does that mean?

There's a jug of it under the sink There's jugs everywhere But it's all cash, because he's on a subscription service But he doesn't get through it all Yeah, he doesn't even eat it at all But like, Tuck has eaten so much And he's just like, it seems like there's more every day He's on a daily subscription It's like milk, the milkman comes by and gives him powder Maybe his parents are sending him care packages all the time That's just protein powder?

It's because his parents don't know a lot about him And Cash mentioned that he started working out Because he wanted to seem like he'd had his shit together So they're like, oh, he's working out, we'll send him protein powder Alright, look, we'll let you go if you promise not to come back And if you tell us where we can find the garden snake Oh, uh, I can't do that Oh, my fucking, what if I threaten to kill you?

What I mean is that I don't know where to find her Oh, do you know how to get a hold of her? Or how to get a hold of someone who knows her?

Take us to Jake, the snake Jackal Jake is the jackal The garden snake is the snake I know you guys laughed, but I thought it was kind of a cool name It's stupid But it's because she's known for like, sneaking into rich people's houses And stealing their valuable shit And she's harmless You know, yeah, garden snakes are harmless and they're really actually quite small and cute Yeah, and it's really easy for them to get in and out of places unnoticed No, it's not, I always notice them Okay, well, alright, fine, well, I'll tell her to change her branding Yeah, like, Night Python You know what?

No, Billy goes to the window Yeah, yeah Yeah Night Python Or maybe Venom Cobra Or Midnight Spooky Snake Midnight Spooky Snake? Is that what you said?

Wow And then Billy gets embarrassed, he's like, not that one So now Tuck and Billy are silhouetted against the window And the only person in this social combat situation is now Vink, so Vink starts thinking about his spear and goes to the window in the kitchen and is like, you Were unbreakable once Until I broke you And now that you're gone, I'm the broken one I can almost smell the saffron imbued in your rope And actually the jackals start like, Getting up And like, looking at the door I'll get that spooky night snake Fuck you, garden snake And we hear the door close by Yeah, if you guys, if you turn around, they're gone Yeah, we Whatever, we know where to find them We turn, we turn around They left, there, it is now an empty apartment Perel walks in What happened?

Took you long enough, classic What am I gonna do? That's what I'd like to know, why do we even keep you around? Can we cut back to what he was doing? He's just like, wide-eyed eating a falafel, just so enraptured He hears the noises of fighting and he just goes, wow My friends sure are skilled and confident And, uh, well, I called them my friends That's nice Anyways, and he just continues to eat his falafel and smoke his hookah Yeah, what happened?

We were targeted by some mastermind criminal who's, uh, in love with me called the garden snake The garden snake? Yeah She named herself? Yeah Wow Billy's got some other ideas for names Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm working on them Poison, poison slither tongue She took my spear, my harpoon She took your, that piece of shit? Excuse I know it has a lot of sentimental value, but why would somebody steal a common spear?

I don't know It's a mystery And then they, they took some of our money And they made a map And they made a mess Like, look at this place We're gonna get kicked out so fast Yeah, you might actually This seems like it would be the kind of thing that Cash would not be able to, uh, forgive Hey, Perel Yeah We're not very good at this What? Cleaning Oh Do you think you could, like, organize it really nicely and make Cash's room super clean?

Cause I know Billy knows that Perel loves to clean Yeah, and he's, he has had a one-room apartment for so long that he's like, oh, I'm gonna clean this room Yeah, I know Billy knows that Perel loves to clean And he's like, oh, multiple rooms A bathroom I'm so excited Oh yeah, and then after you can just take a shower Woah Or a bath Oh my, get out Okay Go now Let's go, guys Let's go, go, go, go, go And we shuffle out You hear the door slam behind you Perfect And then we hear him start singing Yeah, I was gonna say he starts singing to himself What's he singing?

It's, it's just a melody He's like It sounds old And yeah, so you leave the vicinity of your apartment to the singing of Perel in the distance. Hey, guys. Yeah? I think we should talk to the kids and see if they might know where to find Spooky Garden Snake Lady. Oh, these urchins that you hang out with? Yeah. Kevin and Bethany? Bethany. Bethany. Yeah, let's go do that. Great. Lead the way, Billy. All right, so this is going to be a connections roll, which I believe is charisma. Eight.

Okay, so what happens on an eight with connections? So on a seven to nine, you have to settle for something close to it, or it comes with strings attached, and that's my call. It comes with strings attached. Okay, so is everybody going to meet Kevin and Bethany? Oh, yeah. No, I'm bringing everyone. Okay. Be cool, you guys. So where are you going to meet them? The usual. So we go to the bakery. Oh, the bakery in the deep ward. Near the ventilation. Yeah. So, okay, squeeze in, you guys.

And then we just slither down here into the pipe. And there's like half a dozen kids in here all hanging out. And as soon, like, they see Billy and they go, oh, Billy. Hey, everyone. And then they see Ving and Tuck and they go, whoa. These are, this is Tuck. Hi, kids. And this is Ving. Hello, children. Oh, my God, Billy, these are your dads? Yeah, kind of. Oh, my God. I didn't think you actually had dads. Yeah. Yeah, we made them with our penises. No, they didn't. Wow. No.

They're so, and Bethany's like, they're so big. They're huge. Yeah. Is this how big adults usually are? I think so. Yeah, what do you want, Billy? What can we help you with? So, our house got broken into. I know. And they took Ving's spear and they took some money. And that's really uncool. That is uncool. I didn't even know you had a house. Yeah, it's not really ours. Oh, okay. But. I've done that before. Yeah. But the guy who owns it, he's going to be really pissed. Oh.

A bunch of jackals broke in. And then they were like, oh, it wasn't us. It was that lady. And the lady was like, what is it? The garden snake? And all the kids are like, oh. Yeah, and she's the one who took Ving's spear. And Bethany's like, oh, you saw the garden snake? You've heard of her? We've all heard about her. Yeah, we all heard about her. She's a legend. She's a legend in McCall. Yeah. What did she? What did she have? Did she have the pants and the veil? Did she have the veil?

I think she had a veil. I didn't see any pants. Oh. Can I use legends of guitar heroes past? Yeah, totally. When you first encounter an important thing related to one of your specialties, you get to ask a question. Any question. Oh. And I answer it. Where is she? Yeah. I mean, we could do that. But that is. That is what we want to do. The connections. Is there anything else that you want to know? Oh, about her? Yeah. Is she single? Does she have a boyfriend?

Is that actually what you want to know? Oh, God. You're trying to remember, like, songs and, like, poems that you've heard. And honestly, if I'm being, I mean, like, as much as I'm supposed to answer, honestly, any question. Yeah. I don't think there would be a song about, like, and her address is 14145. It's the address song. But call. It's the address. The address. The address. The address. The address. The address. The address. The address. The address. The address. The address.

Because disseminated in the form of a song that everyone memorizes every year. Garden Snakes number 6503. Garden Snakes number 6503. Garden Snakes number 6503. All right. We know where she is. Okay. Cool. Okay. So what would Tuck want to know about her? She's this legendary thief who he might have a crush on because she stole from him. And also because I think he hasn't gotten a date in, like, five months. Uh-huh. Wait. Just. Did he say that you have a.

That he has a crush on her or she has a crush on him? No. I think he's like, he's got a crush on her. Okay. I just wanted to make sure. And she knows you exist. Yeah. Well, maybe not. But it's that thing where you were in, like, middle school and then a girl's like, hey, can I borrow your pencil for a second? And you're like, I've never felt more special in my entire life.

And the reality of it is that somebody probably was explaining the job to her and was like, one of them's a huge moron and then moved on. The other one's Tuck. I guess he would want to know what her likes and dislikes are. Wow. To be totally honest. Yeah. No, that's actually a reasonable. That's a reasonable kind of question. He's just like, what kind of girl is this? Is it an option for me? What are her likes and dislikes? And also, like, what kind of what was the big job that she pulled?

All the same question because I didn't stop talking in between. See, that's the kind of shit I want you to ask where you're like, what's the big job that she pulled that made her a legend and made her fall in love with someone to. Okay. So, man, you ask so many questions and I really shouldn't be giving you the answers. But please. So I'm going to start with likes and dislikes. What you know from the songs is that kind of like Catwoman style, I guess.

She is known for having very high class taste. Oh, yeah. Like she generally steals from the wealthy and she takes like finery. She takes. She takes clothing, jewelry, antiques. She's stolen a couple of things that have that are said to have been like magic, like magic items. Yeah. That was song was called Pretty Woman. She's a lady. He didn't even say pretty woman. He went straight to she's a lady. Wow. Incredible. To be fair, you were humming Mr. Sandman. Yeah. Why were you doing Mr. Sandman?

I was trying to do the big. I was trying to do the opening beast. It goes like this. Pretty woman. Okay. And that's literally even the instruments sound like that. It's a guitar that goes pretty woman. Yeah. It's pretty impressive. I'm looking at pretty woman because now I'm mad at all of you. I know what you're talking about, but it literally just goes pretty woman. But it sounded like Mr. Sandman when you were doing it. Hold up. Shut up. You were doing Mr. Sandman. Try to play Mr. Sandman.

Play Mr. Sandman. Because I have a mouth. I'm going to play Mr. Sandman. But the reason is because I have a human mouth, not a bunch of bass strings. But they're different melodies. Man, if you play Sabotage right now, I'm going to lose my mind. That's what you were doing. Which is to be fair. Fuck you guys. That is a human mouth sound. I'm getting sweaty in the way that I get when I play Mr. Sandman. I'm getting sweaty in the way that I get when I play Mr. Sandman.

When I'm actually embarrassed. Yeah. Okay. All right. So, okay. Dislikes. It is said that she, much like Batman, she tries not to kill. That is another thing that people know her for. Her modus operandi is usually break in, break out, don't see anybody. And if you do see somebody, don't kill them. Through the songs, you've heard that when there has been direct action at a scene that she is said to have been at, they found people paralyzed. What? Forever? No. They usually get better eventually.

But if they found guards knocked out, they're usually paralyzed, but awake. Oh. That's probably why she's called the garden snake, because she doesn't actually kill anybody. Oh, well, he should have just said that instead of being like, oh, sounds cool. Sounds cool. Yeah. And you know what? That's all you're getting. Okay. That was your question, then I answered it. So, all the kids are like, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. So cool. I can't believe you saw the garden snake.

Have you ever heard of rumors? Where she hangs out or where she can be found? Oh. Hmm. Hmm. Maybe. And they look down, they do the Grinch smile, and they look at you. Maybe we have. What's it to you, adults? What? I want to know this, too, you guys. I know, Billy, but they can get stuff for us. What do you want? And now they're like, uh, uh. I thought so. They have money. They can get you whatever. Money? Yeah. She took 30 coin from us. So, if you help us find her, we'll give you half.

How much is… Let's see what you can buy for 15 coins. A feast. Whoa. I think they want 30. Like, I think they want the full 30. Wait. What? There's… It's… What? You're just gonna… We can't… I mean, 15 maybe would be enough for, like, half of us, but there's two times that amount of people here. I say we give it to them. Yeah, fine. I don't care. I literally don't care about money. Yeah. I'd rather you guys have it than the snake. Snake lady. Okay.

So, you guys will take this money and help everyone of your regamuffins. We want you to share it. You're a family. Of course. Okay? We're not buying you. We're giving you money to take care of your family. Okay. And you promise to bring the money back. We promise. Sick. Nice. Nice. Okay. I high-five them. They high-five you. All six of the kids. All six of the kids. All six of the kids. All six of the kids. All six of the kids. All six of the kids. All six of the kids. All six of the kids.

All six of the kids. All six of the kids. Our wives have been bound by the eternal bond of the high-five. And now, in exchange for our agreement, we will tell you what we know. They say that she lives in the lower ward. And she is a noble lady. What? That's why she only steals fancy things. Because she loves fancy things because she's rich. And rich people only love nice things. Maybe she's Robin Hooding this. And she's actually helping people. Maybe she's Robin Hooding this.

She's stealing from the rich. Is that the case? Have you guys ever gotten anything from her? No. I bet she keeps it all to herself. Probably. I'm going to give him… Here you go, little man. I give him the little wooden snake. It's okay, Kevin. He's so excited, he puts it in his mouth for a second. And then he takes it back out of his mouth and looks really sheepish. Wow. Yeah, you hang on to that. Thank you so much. This is amazing. Thank you. Okay. Are you going to go find her?

We're going to try. Oh, yeah. Yeah. If you find her, come back and tell us how beautiful she is. We'll be coming back with 30 coins for you and your family. And they all go, yay! And they all start dancing together. So that's what you know. Supposedly, she is a noble. Cool. Cool. Yeah. I mean, oh man, I really like the idea that you're trying to like trap her, trick her into being somewhere. Yeah. Maybe we should take all of our gold and go buy a bunch of fancy things. Oh my God.

Put it in the windowsill. You know what I'm saying? I really like the idea of you guys like pretending to be rich people, like dressing yourselves up and being like, hello, we're visiting nobles. I do. I think that that's a great idea, actually. I've always had a monocle. You? So is the plan to take on these personalities of rich people who have just come to town, will buy a bunch of shit at like fancy stores in the lower ward and just be like, we're going to be staying at this hotel.

Yeah, exactly. Like really spread the rumor. A shopping mall. A montage. Exactly. Oh, I love this. So it's like wee hours of the morning. The shops don't open until about 10 o'clock. Let's just sleep down here. Yeah. In the deep ward. The deep ward? No, like in the tunnel. Yeah. In the tunnel. It's warm, you guys. It smells like cookies and they're baking bread right now. Oh, and then they're going to make croissants pretty soon. It's really hard to say no to him. We have a house.

No, but Perel's cleaning it. No. And I really like sleep. This is my favorite spot to sleep. Okay. Okay. We'll sleep in this fucking vent. Hey, Kevin, we can have a sleepover. Sleepover. Can all the kids just start laying down? Can I go sleep over with them? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. We're here. And I love that like the tunnel has literally never been safer to sleep in because there are two enormous people sleeping in the entrance. Yeah. We can't fit in it, but we're sleeping out front of it. Yeah.

What are we doing? Can we have a conversation? Of course you can. While they're sleeping? Yeah. We got to set clearer boundaries. I'm terrible at setting boundaries. We have to have consistent bedtimes. Okay. We can't let them sleep in tunnels anymore. It's just hard to know when adventures are going to pop up. It's not even an adventures thing. He's sleeping in tunnels half the night. This is crazy. We both can't be working at night.

Well, I mean, I'm not qualified for anything other than bouncing. I'm not qualified for anything other than bouncing work. And that only happens at night. I guess I could give up my job in the sticks. But can't you work during the day? I guess I could work in the day. Do you think the sticks are still poor in the daylight? I thought it was more of a nighttime thing. Things seem more impoverished at night. I don't know if you have noticed that. People are walking around bumping into things.

Man, look at those poor bastards. They share a poo. Oh, there goes another one. Boink. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

I mean, we don't have to figure it out now, but we have to talk about just getting him on a regular schedule where he's not thieving at night, stealing croissants, falling asleep in vents, fighting what he says are dragons but are just lizards. Also, I've seen him talking to the shadows in corners all the time. I saw him talking to a shoe the other day. He's getting weirder. He's getting really strange. I don't know if this is too much editing, but can we have a flashback to the shoe? Yes.

Yeah, totally. Okay, so I assume this is a fairy. Yeah, it's a fairy. So what does this fairy look like? So I think the fairy is like a human, like a little kid, but in sock material. So it's like a lot of knits and stuff like that. Like a sock monkey? Yeah. Wait, like it is made out of sock material or it's wearing sock material? No, it's just wearing a lot of sock material. Oh, okay. Like a borrower. Yeah, I guess so. And so what are they talking about? How long have you lived in the shoe?

Oh, the shoe? I've lived in the shoe. Well, it's kind of hard because I can only really judge time in shoes. So the amount of time that it would take to wear out 40 pairs of shoes. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. I've never worn shoes. Not really. There's no way I've worn 40 shoes. You've never worn shoes? Not really. Oh, let me tell you. It's pretty great. I mean, I do, but for a long time I didn't wear shoes. Let me think back to all the shoes I've owned. I can list them off to you.

I would love nothing more. All right. So I have a pair of leather boots once right now. So those are my most recent is the leather boots. My dad's make me wear them. And then I had some socks before that. And then I had more leather shoes, but they were brown that time. And one time I had slippers. Oh, those are the best shoes. What was the stitching like? It was really nice. Like white thick stitching. Fluffy inside. Fluffy outside. And then hi, Tuck.

Tuck is like, Billy, where are you doing this? I'm just like leaning in a hallway outside. Yeah. Just like in the doorway. Yeah. As this conversation was happening, you see him slowly lean out of the front door of the apartment to watch. And he's like, oh, I'm not going to do that. And he's like, Billy, who are you talking to? The shoe. Hi. And the fairy waves his hand. Oh, are you going to wave back? He's saying hi. Hi. And Tuck reluctantly waves in the air. Sorry he's being so rude to you. No.

He's not usually this rude. That's okay. He has great shoes. Those boots look like they've been everywhere. Oh, they have. The story of those shoes could tell. Oh, Tuck. He wants to hear about your shoes. They have. The shoe does? He said, okay. Why aren't you listening? The shoe says your shoes are great. And he wants to know where they've been. Oh, these shoes. They were in the principalities. Uh-huh. Oh, you got to listen in on this. Oh, yeah. They've been to Blackglass.

They've been to Pinewood. Wow. They've been to Highspear. They've been to the Sea of Graves. They've been to the Spirit World. And they haven't worn out yet? And they've been to… And they haven't worn out yet? They've been to the river. He's not listening. Riverways Principality. He's not listening. Billy, I have work. I have to go to work. I can't keep doing this. Oh, okay. That's fine. That's fine. No, it's fine. Why are you upset now? I'm not upset. I'm going to go now.

I'll talk to you later. Where are you going? Okay, bye. Go home to sleep. Bye. Bye. Bye. Billy runs out the apartment. Cut back to the tunnel. Well, at least he's wearing the shoes we got him. God, I feel like we set such low bars for success for him that he's never going to… I don't know. Okay, well, one of us just needs to stop working nights. I'll stop working nights. I'll shift my shift. Okay. But then we can never hang out. It's good to see you. I kind of want to cut to this.

I want to cut to this. I want to cut to this. I want to cut to Billy and the kids for a sec. Sure. Bethany is laying on her stomach like in front of Billy. She's got her fingers on her hand like legs. And she's like, I'm the garden snake. I'm the best thief in the city. Well, I'm the garden snake. And I'm a mean cow. And I just go into people's houses. I'm like, just smashing into stuff. You know what? I'm so rich and lazy because I don't have a job.

And I don't know what it's like to work hard for the things you have. So I'm just going to work hard for the things you have. And I'm going to take their stuff. And I fart. Billy, if you don't want to play, that's okay. You don't like how I'm playing? No, if it's fun for you, we can keep doing it. It's a lot of fun. The most sinister Billy has ever sounded easily. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. Yeah. And Kevin is laying near you. The guy's like watching. He goes, Billy. What?

What's it like to have dads? It's really nice. Before them, I had a dad a long, like a really long time ago. And he was so cool. And then he died. And yeah. And I didn't have very good parents after that. And really, I didn't have anyone for a long time. And then Tuck found me one day. And then Vane came later. And it was pretty cool. It's pretty cool. I like them a lot. That's nice. Yeah. We know what that's like. Yeah. But I'm glad that you found them. Yeah.

I hope you guys find dads or moms one day. Yeah. That'd be nice. Yeah. And then Tuck slaps the inside of the vent. And he's like, go to bed. Kids, go to bed. Now. Whoa. Ugh. Fuck. Maybe I don't want to. I don't want to go to bed with my dad. Yeah. That's the only thing. They try and make me go to bed. And it's like, I know when I want to go to bed. It's three in the morning. Shut up. Everyone sleep. Everyone sleep. It's three. You're yelling. It's three. It never works when you yell.

I'm not just saying. All right. And we, I don't know, flash forward, what? Six hours? Five hours? Yeah. Morning. It's morning time. I assume you're going back to your apartment? Yeah. Yeah. We'll go back home and get geared up. Cool. You get back to your apartment on Abu Dib Road. You walk into the apartment. Incredible. Oh my God. Everything's like neatly placed. Everything is looking great. Spotless. It's actually looking cleaner than it has since you moved in. Oh my gosh.

And Perel is asleep on the couch. Look at me. Looks like an angel. He's so beautiful. Smells like an ox. Looks like a bald, stylus angel. Hey, hot. Hey. Hi. Hi. Hey. Sorry, I thought you were somebody else. Who'd you think we were? I thought you were more, nah, nevermind. Who? Nah, no, no, no. Anyways, I cleaned the place. It looks pretty good. It looks great in here. Thank you so much. No problem. It was a lot of fun. You did this without magic? Oh, I've never cleaned with magic.

This is amazing. Thanks for giving me the opportunity. How was your night? Where'd you sleep? In the vents with the muffins. Guys! Guys! With the muffins. Bing did not sleep awake from this fucking beat. So what's the plan? What'd you learn? We learned that a snake lady is rumored to be like a noble lady. And she likes fancy stuff. And she likes to steal, you know, like antiques and money and stuff like that. And finery. And she doesn't kill people. So she's maybe a good guy. It's hard to say.

But we think she might be in the woods. We're going to go to the lower ward. So what we're going to do is we're going to lay a trap for the snake. You're going to love this. We're going to go to the lower ward. Pretend to be rich people. Start spending a lot of money. And then we're going to spread a bunch of rumors that we're going to be staying in this one hotel in the lower ward. Don't know which one yet. And then we're going to wait for her to come to us. Yeah.

And we're going to look pretty good. Pretty great. Pretty good. We're going to definitely deck known feathers and velvet things and silk. And Perel has steepled his hands in front of his face. And he tilts his eyes. He tilts his head down and looks at you through his eyebrows and says, So what I'm hearing is disguises. Yeah. The fanciest disguises. Ving Mimes leans into Perel and like minds taking a leash off of his neck. He rolls his shoulders. He cracks his neck to the side.

And he goes, Makeover. Yeah. And then there's montage begins. Pretty woman. Walking down the street. Pretty woman. The one I hope to meet. Mr. Woman. Yes. Maybe a man like peaches and cream. Whatever the fuck. So we'll start with the role for the costumes. Because that it hinges. Everything hinges on the costumes. Oh, yeah. I'll take that on me as the former shape-shifter. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 2d6 plus charisma. Nice. Eight. Okay. So seven and nine mixed success. They're going to be pretty good.

Pretty good. Not great. Like really top of the line mall clothes. Yeah. Totally. Like Le Chateau back of the store. Yeah. Like it might take a little bit longer for the rumor to get to the nobles. Because it's mostly going to be poor people being like, did you see that jacket? It looked like it was made out of silk, but it felt like polyester. Okay. Great. So where do you go to get clothes? Let's talk about that. There's a guy, Randy, down by the river. I know we can go to.

I mean, honestly, a smuggler. That'd be a guy, Randy, that I know. I do like the idea of like going to a smuggler because we don't want to spend that much money. Yeah. Yeah. It's a centaur. It's a centaur. It's a centaur. Randy the centaur. And they're. Yeah. Centaurs are known in McCall for like their mercantile operations. And Randy is not that kind of centaur. Okay. So let's be clear. What does centaur sound like?

Because I mean, it's so bad, but it's the most fun to do like a wheeling and dealing kind of guy. Like, hey, it's me, Randy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do that one. I'm fucking half cable here. Jesus. Yes. Yeah. Do that. Okay. Is this what all centaurs sound like? Sure. Yeah. Whatever. Randy for now. Yeah. Just do Randy. Okay. So you just go down to the market, I guess. And the market, it's bustling. Like it's middle of the day now. It's fucking bumping.

And what you do see is your friend, Randy, the centaur. He has a pile of clothes on the border between the goblin market and the bazaar. And he's just yelling at people as they walk by. Hey, come on. I got the finest. Where's. The whole market. Look at this pile of stuff. I found this. I'm pretty sure it's wool. And he throws it back down. And look at these. They go around your neck. I don't know what for. But you could buy them. Randy. It's me. He's holding a pair of boots. Yeah. And to be.

I mean, we haven't described centaurs really before. Yeah. So he's like huge. Like he's the size of a camel. Yeah. Well, his lower half goes up to where a camel's shoulder goes, which is what? Like six. Six and a half feet. Oh, yeah. And so he's probably like eight and a half feet tall to the top of his head. Well, looks like he weighs two tons. And he's just like, hey, what do you guys? Hey, you big guy. Yeah. You only got a little piece of thing on your stuff.

You need some more clothes to fill out the gaps. Can you help us look rich? Oh, if there's one thing Randy knows and he's he puts his thumbs under the armholes of his little leather vest that he's wearing. It's. Yeah. I can help you. If you help us, we'll help you. Oh, is that so? What do you mean? Hey, if we look great, what are we going to do? Walk around looking great. And you know what we're going to tell everyone? Oh, you're telling me what the Randy. That's right.

And we're doing an operation in the lower wards. Oh, you guys don't run an operation. He gets real. He goes down, you know, in camel's kneel. Like. Oh, take on. Sorry. I got a little bit of the Lumbago. I hear you guys are pulling an operation. Huh? Yeah. I just told you that. Yeah. Okay. What kind of operation? He adjusts his glasses. Well, we're going down to the lower ward. Okay. We're pretending to be rich. Pretending. Yeah. High finery. The richest of rich. We want your top clause.

We're going to start rubbing elbows with, you know, all the yuppies down there. Okay. We're going to start spreading rumors. Maybe one of those rumors is Randy's digs are the best. Oh, that's a pretty good idea. I tell you what. This is where the seven and nine is going to come in. He wants something from you. Okay. All right. So there's a little shop in the low war. Oh, my God. This is side quest on a side quest. Oh, God. It's just a little side quest.

If you got the time or some sort of resources, all I need you to do is, like, push over a stall. Okay. It's easy. Fine. Yeah, we could do that. Yeah. We're scrupulous. Yes. One by guy called Stitches. He's a tailor down in the lower ward. And maybe he's been causing a little bit of trouble. So just push it over. I don't know. Fuck it up. Okay. Yeah. We'll push over his cart. Cool. Yeah, let's do it. Stand up, Randy. Oh, no. Give me a minute. Why do you have such bad joints?

Look at the fucking size of me, bud. Trying to hold up all this meat. He's rubbing on his belly. He's got chains and stuff. A whole lot of centaur, buddy. Okay. All right. Let's get you in the pile. We dive into this pile. Okay. And what do you come out looking like, Tuck? Tuck's wearing a top hat. Wow. You remember those kids that they went to prom with the frilly shirts with the powder blue suits and lapels? Basically like Dumb and Dumber. Yeah. So he's dressed like Dumb and Dumber.

He's got a top hat and a cape and a powder blue suit. Some of it's blue and some of it's orange. Yeah, frilly front. Some of it's blue. Some of it's orange. Okay. And a top hat. I think I said that three times. Yeah. We get it. He's got a hat. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. He's got a cane sword. Oh, yeah. Nice. That's going to come in handy. See, you know what the best part about this thing is, is people look at it and they go, that's a cane. No problems here. Don't worry about that guy.

But then you go, there's a cane. There's a sword. Holy shit. Yeah. I got a name for it. What's it called? It's called the walking stab. Cool. There you go. All right. What does Ving look like? What does Ving look like? The nicest piece of clothing that Ving could find is a black velvet one piece dress. All right. So he got some old fake pearls that look pretty good. And he's coming out like looking real good. La la. So he's also going to get some makeup too.

He's going to go, I guess, drag because he's going full wife here. Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, nice. And just to be 100% clear, moss hand? Moss hand. Moss hand. Sure. Yeah. But I found a big, fancy, sexy glove. There we go. Yeah. Those like. Oh, the opera gloves. Opera gloves. Yeah. Opera gloves. And little opera glasses. And you just waxed too. So you're. That's true. And just straightened your hair. Yeah. No. He looks like Celine goddamn Dion. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. All right. And Billie.

All right. I'm going to go as the rich baby. So I found. The rich. You mean Richie Rich? Yeah. She just. She said it so offhand. Like we would all be like. Yeah. We would all know what she was talking about. Yeah. You know. Well, like I have like the dad in the tux. And then the mom lady. Or like Celine Dion. I don't know. The older mom. Yeah. Grandma. Sad widow. It's hard to say really. Yeah. Dowager countess. So. Billow finds like.

You know those like Victorian outfits that like little kids used to wear. Yeah. Like the capelets. Oh yeah. Lot of velvet. Doughy hat thing. Yeah. The little. A bonnet. Yeah. The like the knee pants with the white stock. Yeah. Yeah. Silky stockings. The little like Mary Jane shoes. Totally. Yeah. Amazing. It's good. They. We found a pram to in the pile. She's going to push them around. Oh no. Billy finds the pram. He's like. Please. Really. You can walk. We don't need it.

Shoes are so uncomfortable. No. I understand if you guys are trying to pull an operation. You make them look like a little human. Yeah. Fuck Randy. I'm not giving you 15 coins for this thing. For what? For this pram. Oh, I did that. It's not. That's not mine. You can have it. You just got to get out of here. We're what we thought was a transaction was just us doing conspiracy to commit larceny.

He like collect some of your money goes pleasure doing business with you and takes off at a full Gallup. Just just the market. We're going to get out here. I don't think this fucking pile is his man. I went from not knowing what centers were about to loving Randy with every fiber. I'm being wait. What does Perel look like? Oh, yeah, because he was helping with. Yes, of course. Did I? Yeah. Okay. You hear a cough. But I'm around midnight black tuxedo. White shirt crisp.

The little triangle collars with a small. Little tie brilliant red rose probably fake along velvet cape and a white mask covering half of his face. How do I look take each take the mask off man? What the mask makes it it sends a weird message. I think yeah that I'm mysterious. Yeah, I was going to say it makes you mysterious Billy gets it like half mysterious like who is this grandfather who's so rich. Oh, hold on. So fancy and like where what party is he going to? Yeah, where does he live in?

What Palace? What's the other half of his face look like? No one will know it could just be like a diamond face. You really think the mask isn't going to work. You know, I'm not willing to have this argument with you. Yeah, you look like you right now. Yeah, keep in mind. I was in a box for a hundred years. Anyways, let's go. Let's go. All right. What's the next? It's it. So the other things are we have to find a hotel and spread gossip. Yeah. I guess you guys got it.

You would probably have to lock down where you're going to be before you could spread the rumors about it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, good idea. All right. Yeah, Billy 2d6 plus charisma. Oh man, plus charisma is 11. All right. So let's see you guys go down to the lower ward. Yes, you arrive on the tram and you get off into the lower ward crowds of middle-class and upper-class. No, the only people that you see on the streets are middle-class people. What's that?

What hotel do you direct your energies towards the fanciest? One Sun Palace the Sun Palace. Oh sure. Yeah, the Sun Palace the fountain in the front is flowing with crystal clear water 24 hours a day and has a big beautiful stone carving of a son. Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is the one that all the rich kids who are like cool and trying to like, you know, be rebellious. That's where they party. Yeah. So you just head in and there's a reception desk. I what does it look like quartz quartz? Yeah.

Um and like the Sun Stone like glass ceiling dome. So there's like light coming in glittering off so much tropical plants. Oh, yeah, you can hear like there's like birds and shit in here and so the glass ceiling dome there's pinpricks of Sun Stone in it. So even like at night, it looks like the night sky cool. Yeah, there's different panels and they change out the panels to adjust for the turning. So it actually like changes with the. Seasons. Yeah, that's really cool.

There's also like floors like parts of the floors are glass and underneath is like flowing water. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I want to go to this hotel now. Yeah, this fake hotel so nice. Yeah, and in the massive like Airy atrium reception area with all the trees and dense jungle life. There is a very straight-backed young man with a very thin mustache dark skin, very close cropped hair and. A really like tasteful reception uniform. He says welcome to the Sun Palace. Will you be staying with us?

Salutations my good man. I yeah, we're rich. We're staying here now. Very good. Very good. What sort of accommodations will you be requiring something with the toilet that needs that requires sitting down for I am a lady and I require sitting down to do so bathroom stuff. You will be happy to know ma'am that I ma'am ma'am miss ma'am. Miss. Miss will do fine. Ooh, you'll be happy to know that all of our toilets require sitting standing is for the poor.

Would you happen to have a room a room a sweet a sweet with a ballroom or something fancy like a grand piano or like an opera or something very cultural very high class. May I say this is a very advanced. Child that you have with you. Yeah, should be. You must be very proud. We he's only two years old and he's already aware of opera and piano and he could talk. We're that rich with a British accent.

I'm very well traveled sir, and I've stayed in quite the nicest places in the world and my grandmother father being listen, you like fucking grandmother. My fancy uncle. We will need most finest of establishment. It's my younger brother here needs somewhere to practice his singing and Perel taps his cane on the ground goes. Ha ha. Well, I think that we have just the accommodations for you in our Empress suite.

It is 50 coins a night and it has all of the accommodation to require super King size bed. That's when you take two Kings cut them in half and put them together and then one King. No, but hold on. You just can't. Yeah. Yeah. It's two half. King one. King you take the other two halves and you put them at the bottom. Okay, so it's a long just two Kings on end.

Yes, but of course cutting the first cutting both of them in half bit shows that you have no care for the quality of the things that you buy or how much they cost. What are the sleeps like of these beds is terrible. Sorry. This is so dumb. This is not realistic at all. This is perfect. Great. Of course is terrible. The rich don't need to sleep. They don't have to work. You simply stay up all night on cocaine.

It has an en suite bathroom an en suite bathroom an adjoining dining hall a retching Hall and an en suite bathroom. That's down the hall. You don't want to go in there and a beautiful view of both the gardens of the lower ward and some say just the barest peak of the broken shores. Oh, wow. On a good night on a good night. Okay, every night's a good night for a people like us. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

So of course we will be we will be billing you after your stay and we require just a just a name and contact information. Yes, of course we are of the and then he looks at Perel and he's like tuxedo mask clan to owe the tuxedo masks. Yeah. Yeah. You've heard of us as you can see our the patriarch is here and I point at Perel and it's like who bows very he spins his hand like 20 times as he goes to bow down and then bows back up.

Yeah, we've been traveling from the principalities because we've come to see the Shah of McCall. You wanted to borrow some money. Yeah, because we're so rich incredible. In fact, he's gonna we don't even have to go to. I mean, we don't even have to go to him. He will he will be coming to us. He will be paying us a visit to get his money because he is poor. Are you telling me that the the Shah will be visiting? Yes, the Sun Palace entirely possible. My good man.

How many days can we put you down for? Let's start with one week, please one week seven days very well. And he writes down. I just require what who was it tuxedo mask tuxedo mask clan. Okay is the family name. All right. My name is Tacoma Dome. Yep, you never lies. His eyes widen a little bit. Just one word. This is my mother. Wanda Rwanda Hotel Rwanda. What a beautiful. I've started. I have a chain. This is a my son. The last King of Scotland.

My name is William writes it down and and your name sir. Any points of Pirell and Pirell taps his cane on the ground and goes, haha, and he's looking really nervous. And he's kind of looking at all of you. My uncle's name is. Sir. William with an H Sir William. Yes, tuxedo mask. Yes, clan clan clan is in the name very well. And you will be at the very top Penthouse suite. Thank you room services available at any hour of the night.

We will simply wake someone and force them to make your food for you. Enjoy your stay and he throws both his hands out to the side and bows really really low tuck bows back. This guy doesn't come back up. Oh, his he's fully bound. Then curtsies. Unfortunately, he can't see it, but it's probably a beautiful curtsy. We go. He stays like that until you're out of you. Okay, we will be back later. Pirell lifts his mask for a second and starts waving air under his.

He's just pouring with sweat from that side of his face. This is going pretty well. It's not bad right now. Kind of amazing. We pulled this off so far so far. Let's see how these rumors. Go. All right, 2d6 plus charisma. Huge rumors. Holy shit. The fuck my charisma is two. So I got 13. All right. So what's your plan for spreading rumors here? Where do rich people hang out country clubs? Fine dining fine dining the Faberge egg store the dragon Faberge egg store. Yeah.

Oh my God stitches where we have to go. Anyway. Oh, yeah, let's go to. Stitches. Okay, and you get there and there is kind of a portly McCall in dude. He's got really oiled like ringlet hair and like a burgundy robe. That's very finely embroidered. Okay, so walk up to the cart and I go you me itch. Yes, I have words with you. You have insulted my family's honor and I talk loud so everyone can hear. Yeah. Yeah, and I go you have insulted the honor of.

The tuxedo mask clan and then I go the richest family in the principalities. We came all the way from the principalities expecting a full wardrobe of clothes from you stitch and we didn't find it when we got here. So what we did was we bought the deed out from under you for this cart in the store behind it. Please lower your voice. Please ever there. You're making a scene. No, you've upset my parents and Mike and and.

We're here to to fight for our honor because no one disrespects the tuxedo masks, please. Please. I'm just going to if you if it is true that you have bought this property, I'm going to need to see a deed of some kind. Here's the deed and I pull out the cane sword. I pull the sword out of the cave and people go and back up. This is the dirty deed done dirt cheap and I yeah, just smash it into the side of the cart and I start wriggling it around to make as much damage as possible.

I know he said that it was going to be one dice roll, but I want to Defy Danger strength for this. 678. Okay, great. Yeah, you smash the shit out of stitches cart and as I'm doing that I turn to like the crowd that's watching and I go I'm doing this because I'm rich and I don't care about the consequences because for me there are no consequences because money lets me do anything you either you I will have my revenge. I you would not heard the last of stitch McGillicuddy.

You may come to the Bellagio where we will be staying in the very fine Empress Suites at the Sun Palace. I mean in the Sun Palace where you'll find us in the very fine and pursuit enjoying our endless buffets and and backwards toilet. And everyone in the crowd goes. Oh, yes, backwards toilets. Oh, yeah, only the finest. Only the finest. Only the finest thing is to stand accounting gold coins in the crowd. And then as we're walking away we go.

Yes, us and all of our loose money and poorly guarded clothes will be in our penthouse. Sweet, sweet baby darling. Yes. How would you like to go spend a bunch of money and bring the wares back to our unlocked room? Love it. Grandma. Ma. Yes, are the heirlooms at least guarded or that? I will. I will one day inherit when I grow up or or are they also quite loose about the room? Darling. No one would steal from people as rich as us.

Your heirlooms are dangling out the window on the string like I know they should be father. Will the peacocks be arriving eventually? Yes, the dinner peacocks that will be arriving so we can eat for dinner. Leave one for breakfast. Lee. Yeah, leave one's eggs for breakfast. Yeah, we'll use the eggs for breakfast and we'll just throw them out.

Throw one out the window for sports and then tuck fumbles a bag of 15 coins and goes whoops and then drop and then does that thing where he goes to pick it up and then kicks it into the crowd and then he stands up and goes it's not worth it to go get it. That was 15 coins and then I turned to a random person in the crowd as like repeat all the information that I just said back to me. So I know you know it. Yeah, and the montages is them explaining their breath. That's music playing over.

Over them talking to you and us going. Uh-huh. And I mean we can assume through montage that you see. Oh, the word is spreading throughout the lower word. Psychotic rich family. Yeah, somebody should do something about it. Morons make way for Prince Ali. Yeah, I guess you guys did kind of pull a Prince Ali. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and the only thing left to do. Is wait to spring your trap. Yeah, let's go back to the room. So it's late like the moon has risen. It's a beautiful cloudless night.

Oh, maybe we can use the moths a little bit and see where she's going right now. Oh, yeah. Time. Yeah. So Ving is watching like the rooftops of the lower ward through the eyes of moon shadow in the moonlight. You see a form flitting across the rooftops running like full speed rolling over a ledge leaping across the distance. Between two buildings.

There's a point where she where the form jumps across a gap that nobody should be able to make and you see a flash of something flies out of her hand and stabs into a wall and she swings across and climbs up some sort of cord that she's carrying with fucking shit. My spear and you realize that she is obviously very clearly moving in the direction of the Sun Palace and it mere mere seconds until she arrives. She's coming. She's coming. She's coming. She's coming. She's coming.

All right, everybody look natural. Okay, took. It's a shiffer rope. I so my understanding was that your plan was to hide. Yeah. No hide hide hide gets into the shiffer rope and Perel swings into the bathroom and closes the door. Most of the way, but peeks through being slips under the bed like a snake.

Okay, and you hear before you see the quiet shuffling of like the window in the bedroom sliding open then like you don't hear anything but talk from where you're standing and then you see some silken slippers like touch the floor and she's just creeping into your hotel room through like beams of moonlight and bands of darkness as she creeps through the room.

You see slightly Baggy pants of some loose material that allow for like freedom of movement tight-fitting clothing on the top and like a silk veil look that covers her mouth and nose. She's got dark hair coiled at the back of her head.

And you see her arms are bare and from her wrist like to underneath her shirt are alternating dark black bands that look like elaborate tattoos and the light passes over the side of her head as you see her ears come to a very slight point and that's where we're going to end it for this week I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz hello goodbye playing being the half elf druid Paul Oppers and playing fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai goodbye thanks to what I think Tuck was saying hello to her yeah that's what I heard from inside hi thanks to Aaron Reed for our amazing intro and outro music and thank you to all of you our beautiful supporters listening to us right now thank you for doing that you can find us on the internet at Spout Lore most places including patreon.com and I think that's it so long bye okay bye and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Alright, welcome everybody to Spelt Lord.

I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian Abdulaziz. Hello. Playing Ving, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers. Hey there. Playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Hello.

When last we left our heroes, they had come face to face with Farah Margani, Master Librarian of the Margani Library And many times great-granddaughter of Amma Margani, founder of the Margani Library And current vessel for the Icon of Truth and Truth Demon in the indenture of the Light of the Dark. And the adventure of the Light Guard, as far as we are aware of as of the Crystal Bay adventure.

Farah Margani took the party into a side room, very sternly but very kindly, before closing the door and saying with words in her eyes, Tell me what you're doing here or I'm gonna beat your ass. And they did. They gave her the whole song and dance, quite literally giving her a song and dance as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah, there was a lot of the doing that thing where we were pretending to be ships and then we were like, Yeah, there was a lot of the doing that thing where we were pretending to be ships and then we were like, And then we were like, And then it was like, And then the waves And I was like, And lightning And lightning And lightning Giving a Ember Island Players style breakdown of the entire series up until this point, I guess. I suppose kind of more seasons five and six.

Yeah, you don't want to give her the whole feel. That's what we said to her. Yeah, Tuck was like, this is more just seasons five and six. Yeah, Tuck was like, this is more just seasons five and six. You don't need to know much more before that. You don't need to know much more before that. And after some semi successful roles and a daisy chained aid situation that I allowed. For some reason. For some reason, sometimes I can be convinced.

The party was able to convince Farah to allow Perel the opportunity to peruse the Thaumaturgical History and Philosophy section of the library in an attempt to locate specific texts and manuscripts. The party was able to convince Farah to allow Perel the opportunity to peruse the Thaumaturgical History and Philosophy section of the library in an attempt to locate specific texts and manuscripts.

The party was able to convince Farah to allow Perel the opportunity to peruse the Thaumaturgical History and Philosophy section of the library in an attempt to locate specific texts and manuscripts. The party was able to convince Farah to allow Perel the opportunity to peruse the Thaumaturgical History and Philosophy section of the library in an attempt to locate specific texts and manuscripts.

The party was able to convince Farah to allow Perel the opportunity to peruse the Thaumaturgical History and Philosophy section of the library in an attempt to locate specific texts and manuscripts. The party was able to convince Farah to allow Perel the opportunity to peruse the Thaumaturgical History and Philosophy section of the library in an attempt to locate specific texts and manuscripts. And how he can, if he can, regain his powers.

And in that time, the party also perused some books, finding amongst other things that… I found out that the Sea of Graves poem indicates that a warlock is the one who locked Lillian away. And that Chimes probably knows a warlock. Or knew or something. He has firsthand experience with warlocks. Yeah. And didn't say anything about that. Why would he, though? I don't know. Okay. You can say. Yeah. And Ving learned… That the druids and the magicians have a shared origin.

And years ago, there was a rift between them. And that maybe that is affecting his relationship with his parents on some smaller level. Yeah. In that perhaps or perhaps not, Ving's mother may potentially have been wizard or wizard adjacent. Yeah. Meaning? That Ving could potentially be part wizard. There's some Thalmic shit, maybe. Yeah. And we also learned on Billy's end… Billy found a book written by a winter fairy in the ancient fairy language, which is like the first of runes.

That the fairy world is basically the world that exists when spirits were basically like gained individuality and shed their natural law and were exiled from the spirit world. Yeah. And it kind of exists between the spirit world and the out of dark. Cool. So cool. And also that during the season six finale, what Billy did was enter the fae realm. Yeah. Like willingly be like whoop between worlds, which is something that perhaps he's going to…

That he might not even realize he was able to do, but something that he has the potential to be able to do. I don't think he knew he could do it, but I think it was almost like, again, instinct. Totally. And Billy stole that book. Yeah. Yeah. Stole a book that I guess Tuck and Ving and Perel saw Billy reading. Or perhaps you just thought he was looking at a book. He looks at books a lot. And then usually they're fucking ruined afterward. It's covered in barbecue sauce.

There's just peanut butter in here. He tries to… This is more potato salad than book now. Yeah. He used it as a panini press. You can tell. Yeah. He's trying to press flowers, but instead of a flower, it's a sandwich. Which… Just press the sandwich in here and light this book on fire. So many PBJs, paninis made in that. He knows that you can save flowers by pressing them between pages. And he's like, I want this sandwich to last forever. It's almost half a sandwich.

So many of Cash's books have been ruined. All the grill marks are just the words onto the bread. Yeah. Yeah. That's silly, buddy. Is this sandwich? It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. Oh, and the party was also bestowed upon a bookworm named Oman. Oman. Who is going to come with you as a intermediary between yourselves and the librarians.

We'll deliver messages and information in the form of reports as you have agreed to help Farah Margani locate and best case scenario free from servitude Amma Margani. Yeah. In return for her letting Perel peruse peruse the books. Yeah. And kind of work out of the library every couple of days. Yeah. And help her understand more fully firsthand accounts of the golden age of wizardry. Yeah. Yeah. Man, they're going to fuck for sure. Oh, probably. Gross. I mean, they're roughly the same age.

So maybe. Yeah. I'm into this. Why? It's like when you're, your uncle meets your English teacher. You know, you know that feeling everybody has when your uncle meets your English teacher and you're like, oh yeah, we all share that experience, right? Hey, is this just a fetish that I'm discovering? Are you just talking about Riverdale again? Man, he's going to grunders her unders for sure. Grunders her unders. Amazing. Oh my God. I'm so funny.

And after gathering these books, Billy stealing a book and Perel being like, I'll see you later. I'm going to stick around and do some work. You've left the library returning to the city of McCall and heading to the lower ward to treat yourself. Why not? We had a hard day. Yeah. Treat yourselves to a stay in a bathhouse. So you can clean the millennia old shit off of you.

And upon entering the mud room of the summer flower bathhouse and spa, you saw your much beleaguered roommate, Cash Alplates, devastated to see his night on the town crumble before him. Oh yeah. We were trying to give him a night away from us, actually. Yeah. And that is where we find our friends now. I guess neck deep in some mud. Yeah. So let's see what everybody's doing. What's Tuck doing in the bathhouse? He, I guess he's maybe in a steam room because he loves being hot and wet.

Who doesn't, right? I guess. Yeah. What's Ving up to? He's getting his hair conditioned and doing his, he's getting a big old nail done job. Yeah. Yeah, totally. And he's getting waxed. Where? From the neck down. Holy shit. He's like, I've had enough. I don't want anything resembling the bears that I've overtook. Whoa. Full human only human. Take all my hair. No more body hair. Yeah. Whoa. And Tuck walks by while the wax is happening and he's like, woo, smooth as an eel, buddy.

And he walks away. Right off the stroke. What's Billy up to? Billy, I had to take a workplace mandated shower. AKA the receptionist like, no, you have to shower off first, little guy. So I did that. And now I'm in the mud. I'm in the mud bath with cash. I was like, oh, if he's here, like maybe he'll enjoy my company. So he's ingratiating himself. It's so funny in my head because they're like classic Turkish bath, like the individual bath. So Billy's just in a huge bath by himself.

He looks like a lone meatball in an Italian wedding suit. They had to get a bucket to put in it so he didn't drown. So he could sit on something. He's sitting on a box in the mud. It's like a bee bath, but for Billy. Yeah. And cash just has his eyes closed. He's trying not to listen. But what's Billy chattering at cash about? So it was crazy. Like there was this worm on me and it just hopped off and it was going to tell on us.

And then I tried to get it, but it fought back and it was like into this hole into the wall. And then I was like, well, we can't let this happen. So then tuck smash the wall and I got the worm out and I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I forget. Oh, yeah. Tuck smushed it in a book. I don't know. Cash. Do you think that there's like an afterlife for that worm? Billy, if I if I even came close to believing anything that you just told me, I would still say no.

I don't think there's an afterlife for worms. Oh, Billy is so sad. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I think I think that. Yes, I think there's a special afterlife for worms. What do you think it looks like? He bites his lip and he looks away like I can't believe I'm getting drawn into this again. Again. You might notice I might be the only thing keeping this poor saps heart. I guess right.

I guess maybe it looks like a lawn like a little lawn for the worms to crawl around in. Yeah. Billy's tearing up because it's a nice lawn. Yeah. He's imagining. Yeah. Hey, Billy, are you crying? Yeah. He lifts a cucumber off his eye. Yeah. Just, you know, I just, I just didn't want him to tell us. I didn't mean for him to die. I think it was family now. Okay. All right. Okay. Again, assuming that anything you say is even remotely true that you went to the Margani library.

I mean, it's a bookworm, right? Yeah. And it was in a book. Yeah. That's where they want to be, isn't it? So maybe it didn't die at all. Oh, maybe. Yeah, maybe. Oh, I feel so much better. Thanks, Cash. Hey, no problem. He puts the cucumber on his eye and he sinks his ears under the mud. Cut back to a week and a half ago when Billy was like, do you think all of the book lavas I eat have an afterlife that they go to? And Cash had to have basically the exact same color as me.

Anytime Billy's faced with the death or destruction of anything in McCall, he asks Cash about an afterlife because Cash is, he's part of the Church of the Flintstones and Billy doesn't know anything about it. Right, yeah. Yeah. So he's like, and I mean, in the Church of the Flame, in my mind, there's no spiritual afterlife like that. No, you kind of just turn into ash and you reintegrate. Yeah. So he has to keep making stuff up to make this kid happy.

Just the normal places that you find that thing, a long, a plate. No, there's a plate that's the perfect plate. There's a big pile under a glass display. Yeah. I don't know, Billy, I guess that there's a stairwell under which all of the rats go. I don't know what you want me to tell me. What do you want me to tell you? Yeah, cut back to Tuck in the steam room. Yeah, he's just shvitzing. Can't really see much. Yeah, it's pretty like misty in here. Yeah.

Like, it's kind of, it's a large enough steam room. You could fit a bunch of people in here. At this time of night, there's not really that many people in here. And he, he has like a towel over the arm that has the tree tattoo because he's still pretty embarrassed about it. He doesn't like that he has a tattoo. For some reason, he's very averse to the tattoo. He doesn't like tattoos. I mean, I guess that makes sense. And he has his wrist straps on, but he's full nude otherwise.

So they gave him a towel for his waist, but he just wrapped it around his arm. Yeah. And you hear coming down, like outside the room, through the open door, a familiar voice. Yeah, so I told him, you know, if my mace isn't ready by the end of the week, then I don't know how I'm going to make it. I don't do any work. You know what I mean? And he walks right into the room. Oh, no. Oh, no. You can't see him at all, but you can hear the voice.

And I can smell the acrid smell of like that accelerant that he had. Oh, the fuel that he uses in his mace. And he also uses it, it seems like, as aftershave. Yeah. He's just wiping gasoline on his body all the time. Pours it out of the axe on his wrists and rubs it together. I love that. Mill, is that the right word? Anyways, and he's, he's got, he's got another guy with him. It's aerosolizing now, too. So Tuck's like coughing. It's in his eyes. Yeah, he's just like, hey, I hear that.

It'll put some hair on your chest, little dweeb. Okay. And he goes and he sits down and he's just shouting to this other dude that's with him about light guard stuff. Tuck recedes into the fog to escape. He doesn't know where the door is. He, he like, he started coughing. He got disoriented. He slipped a little bit. Uh, his dick touched something on the ground that was furry for some reason. That's fine. It's just, it's a steam bowl. The normal around here. Steam bowl? Oh no!

And then he, he like climbs up and he's like, oh my God, I hope that steam bowl doesn't think I was coming onto it. And then he climbs up and into like the furthest, you know how they're usually tiered steam bombs? Into like the furthest nook, which is also the hottest place. Oh yeah. Oh no. He rises up and you're just going to hide in here and listen. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. So I'm going to, yeah, it's going to, you're going to have to roll to, um, is it spelled Lord to certain realities?

No, this will be a defy danger because you don't want him to notice that you're here. Okay. Seven, 10. Yeah. Fucking air five. Clap. So this is the kind of situation where you have to defy to overcome your obstacle. But I think I'd still, if you really want to learn something, I think I'd like you to, I guess, to certain realities. Yeah. Like I could ask what here is useful or trying to pick out good things out of what he's saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Duty six plus wisdom.

Uh, seven plus one is eight. Cool. So you get one question. What here is useful or valuable to me? Okay. Um, I think that it will be him telling you about the light guard headquarters. You know what I mean? They're like central building, which I'm going to say is in the lower ward. It's at basically the mouth of the walls formed by the cliff face. That was the bay of, uh, the, of the port of McCall. It's kind of almost like a gate house.

Like the exit from the lower ward to the salt flats is like the light guard, uh, cathedral. Oh, so it's kind of like in game of Thrones. Like it's like a castle on a wall sort of thing. Oh, so it's like really big. It's real big. Okay. Big. Yeah. Like the wall. Wall of China, but way thicker and taller. Yeah. And this is like their cathedral as well. Like this is where all like those dudes live and the gin. Yeah. Oh yeah. There's gin in there. There's probably gin that stay there.

Oh, and it's like their services there as well. It also houses most of the light guard. Lots of their armors baked deep in the basement. Yeah. Okay, cool. So what's this place called? Some cool, fiery, lighty name. So it's a fortress. It's the church of the flame. The hearth. Yes. Yes. Oh, sick. Cool. Great name. And the hearth and the, the way that goes through the, through the building to the salt flats. It's called the hearth gate. Yes. One side, it's the tallow gate.

Other side, it's the hearth gate. Fucking right. Cool. Yes. Okay, cool. So yeah, Fathom, who I'm sure everybody can connect this voice with that man. Yeah. Fathom, warrior of the light guard and some say on the wind, right hand man to the torch of McCall. Yeah. Yeah. Personal attendant. Yeah. Adjutant. Is that a word? Yeah. He's just fucking blabbing about his life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, so I started the day off with like 60 crunches, 70 anti crunches, 45 side to side crunches per side. And then I did like the rest of my cool down crunches. Oh, and you know, and by this time, like the first guard was changing out. So like I had to go make sure that this was okay. So he's, he's giving away the schedule of when guards change at the hearth. Oh, cool. And when, when is that? It's like four times a day, basically, um, you know, noon and midnight and then 6 a.m. And 6 p.m.

The other two. Yeah. Yeah. And he says it like that. He's like, you know, there's like one at like midnight and then the other midnight, but like the day one and then the two middle ones. Yeah. Six, both sixes. Yeah. It happens at both sixes too. What a colossal idiot this person is. I love that he's climbed the ranks to second in command of these morons, but he's so strong. Yeah. Uh, and he also gives away like where his room is in the hearth.

Cause he's like, and you know, it's pretty tight cause like I'm pretty high up there, you know, in the emulators, I'm like basically second in command. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, basically. And, uh, it's pretty sick because my chambers overlook and he, he tells you like the palace of the specific family that his room overlooks. Ooh. And he's like, it's like two away from the top floor too. So it's a pretty good view.

What's the name of the family? Uh, Ooh. Oh no. I damn it. So I was trying to think of another arena name and I was like, um, um, what's a good arena name that kind of sounds McCollum? And I was like, so Dell dome. And I was like, wait, his name's dumb. Oh, right. Yeah. Just say so Dell, so Dell, the so Dell family. Yeah. Yeah. The palace of the so Dell family. He's like, yeah, it looks over the so Dell estate and it's like two from the top floor. So it's pretty tight.

Sometimes I can see right into the garden and sometimes there's people sunbathing out there, you know, and pretty sick. He's coughing now on his own. It's pretty sick. Like, Oh man, that stuff really gets your heart pumping. So yeah, anyway, and the guy hasn't, the other dude that he's with hasn't gotten a fucking word in this whole time. The so Dell family are like, they have a tradition that each first son is a vizier to the shop McCall. Throw that in there. Yeah, I like that.

They have a, they're usually viziers to the shop McCall. And I guess the shop probably lives in the lower ward too, right? Uh, yeah. Biggest best estate. Is that like the king or like the mayor? Or something? Yeah, I guess the shot is like, I'm just thinking about like the parts of the city that govern themselves. So the shot would be in charge of the humans.

Like it would be the human government, like the government of like the lower ward and the upper ward, but they're kind of separate from the deep ward, right? Cause the deep ward has the council. Yeah. Yeah. Does he let give any information on how and when he got back and if the torture McCall is back to, uh, no, he doesn't actually bring, bring shit. I gave you a lot, man. Thank you. No, no, I appreciate it. And that's what he says. I gave you a lot, man.

You can't get it all cause he's drinking a protein shake and the guys trying to grab it from like, no man, you had enough. I need to, I need a bulk. I am so interested in this person that is hanging out with him. We cut to Ving. Ving's getting waxed. Yeah. Oh, he's done getting waxed. He's all waxed. Uh, it's a shorn to the, to the day he was born and he is getting his hair straightened. Whoa. Wow. Okay. Holy shit. And he's crying. Oh no. Yeah. He's bawling his eyes out. Why?

He said, I just miss him so much. And the guy's like straight in the hair like, who do you miss? Uh, Cloud Piercer. Oh. Is this your father, son, lover? He was everything to me, man. I have had two, two,! Is this your father, son, lover? He was everything to me, man. I have had people like that in my life as well, young man. He pats your shoulder there, there. Is this okay? That's fine. Thank you. It feels nice to have somebody close again. Were you and Cloud Piercer together long?

I mean, it felt like a lifetime. That's the hot tongs of the straightener touching your hair. Oh, it must stink so much. He is burning a couple of them. My God, patchouli to the max. Oh, man. So, sorry, how long were you together? Uh, it felt like forever, but, you know, it was like three months. I have had relationships like that, yes, it is. People come into your life, they connect to your heart, and then they drift away. I still have dreams about him where I can see through his eyes.

That must be quite heart-wrenching for you. It is. Only when I wake up, though. Isn't that the way? When we wake up from our dreams, we realize reality is the only dream we have. Rose oil? Please. Start scrimping it through your hair. Oh, that smells nice. Is that Nutka Rose? It is Nutka Rose. They exist in this world. Beautiful. I grow them myself in the space between realities. Tell me more. No. Spout low. Tell me about yourself and the world.

Give me a bunch of cool information like, Tuck may be God. It's just very funny that he's like, I bet Tuck's getting information. Give me some information, too. This guy has no frame of reference for who the fuck Tuck is. I know. He doesn't respond to that very well. Is Tuck your father, your son, your new lover? Yes, you could say all of the above as well. I would rather you specify which one it is. I don't like to specify. I'm very unspecified. Look at me. Everybody is everything to me.

I'm looking for a new spirit animal. What are you doing after work? I'm comfortable with this being a thing where you try and get some information. Yeah, where do you live? Do you live down here in the richy, richy yonder world? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I am part of the perfumer's union and I live in Stepside. Ah, beautiful. Stepside's gorgeous. It is, especially during the winter. Really? I haven't seen it wintered yet. Yes, it's quite beautiful.

The water from the water tower is so beautiful. It's so beautiful. It's so beautiful. The water from the water tower is piped up and the plants don't wither quite so quickly under the oppressive sun, so the gardens can become quite lush. Hmm. That sounds darling. I'll have to check it out. Please do. Do you ever, are you a groomsman of the light guard by any chance? Hmm. Have you ever done any work for the light guard people?

Members of the light guard filter in and out of our bathhouse from time to time, yes. I have even had the pleasure of straightening and perfuming the hair of members of the Sedell family, if you can believe it. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yes. The Sedells. The Sedells. One of the most prosperous and politically influential families in McCall. Yes, I heard their son is the vizier to the Shah. A vizier to the soon-to-be Shah and the Shah's regent, yes. Oh, wow.

The current Shah is too young to be the Shah, so there's a regent. Oh, that's cool. And also, I like the idea that the Sedell family will have a boy at around the same time as the Shah will have a boy So they grow up together? So they grow up together and they're like friends. Like the Prince of Egypt. Yeah, basically. Oh, they're forced to be friends. Yeah, and they're like just always together. Yeah. Which, honestly, mitigates the chances of you getting like some kind of snake man vizier.

Yeah. Who, like, traditionally for like generations, it was like, why are all of the viziers so evil? Yeah. And then the Sedell family approached the Shah and he was like, okay, here, I have an idea. What if our sons are just friends? And then the, well, my family line will be the viziers forever. And he was like, all right, that makes sense. That sounds good. Excuse me, your eminence, I cannot help but notice that a snake wizard tried to hypnotize your daughter again.

Did I interest you in some political fortitude? Also, no more parrots. So, yeah, the current Shah and the future, or the, you know, the current Shah and vizier are now, they're currently like 11 years old. Okay. And there's a region in place of the Shah because the old Shah died prematurely before the sun came out. So, the vizier could come of age. Cool. Interesting. Yeah. What? What? I'm, I'm jacked up on this political intrigue. I wonder why he died so early, or she.

And why the vizier survived. Who can say? I, I want to roll something back. I said the first son, it's the first child. First child. Son or daughter. Okay, so who is it right now? The Shah and the vizier. Boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl. Boy, girl. Boy, girl. Yeah. One of each. Shah, vizier? Girl, Shah, boy, vizier. Oh, girl. Yeah. Okay, cool. So, yeah, the current Shah and vizier are 11 years old, and it's, the people say they get along quite swimmingly, as far as anybody knows.

Yeah, and they, and when they are both at 11, it's like a big year for them, and that's when they, if they make it into 1212, then they're gonna make it the whole way. It's kind of a superstitious thing. They have to make it through 1111. Oh, cool. Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. I like that a lot. Yeah, so they're currently still 11. Mm-hmm. Cool. I think there are a lot of superstitions, around the number 11 in McCall. Yeah. There you go. Cool.

There's 11 neighborhoods in the old city, in the upper ward. Ooh. Cool, and the sticks is just a bunch of ones, too, and that's superstitious and weird. Like, it's a stretch, but. Yeah. Candles. Yeah, candles. Match sticks. Yeah. 1111, one Shah, one vizier, 11. Oh, yeah. Twins. The pillars. The pillars, yeah, yeah, yeah. The pillars and the lighthouse. Oh, yeah. And I'm just gonna throw it out there. The original, so there are currently 11, oh, sick.

Yeah, because the, or no, maybe there's 10, and that's why 11 is considered superstitious, because one was destroyed. Oh. And that was like a huge religious thing, but there are 10 remaining jinn that are the original jinn that the god of the flame brought. God, it's a really cool idea. We're so. And then just like, wait, I know something even cooler. We're so good at fantasy. Oh, man. I'm so horny for McCall now. Yeah. Oh, I'm so glad we're here. I'm so glad we're here.

Yeah, we're such virgins, yeah. Hey, what are the rules? Rumors you've heard about the demise of the former Sean Vizier. Ooh. What have you heard? Yeah, I guess roll it. Spout Lore. Spout Lore, 2d6 plus intelligence. Wisdom. Wisdom. Fuck, right, because it's historical. Seven. Seven, great. So interesting, but not useful.

He gets very quiet, and he leans in a little bit and takes on again an almost conspiratorial tone and says that, I mean, the events surrounding the death of the Shah are quite mysterious, not spoken of quite as openly as other deaths, but a member of the Vizier's household told me that when the Shah was found in his chambers dead, that he was not alone. Too dead? Too dead. Well, who was he with? I dare not say more. I dare not say more.

He, like, bows and puts his hand up, like, oh, my fine client, I cannot possibly say anymore. Who cares? It's been most entertaining. Thank you for your candor. Thank you for your time. And my bouffant, my straight bouffant and my smelly hair. If you require any more rose oils, do not hesitate to return to the Summer Flower Bathhouse and Spa. I have been Uban. Uban, I am Ving. Good day, Ving. Good day. That was a wonderful interaction. Yeah. Just wonderful role-playing. Just from both of you.

And we cut back to Billy and Kat. Yeah. Cash has got his hands on his head and Billy is still talking. Oh, can Billy be eating one of his cucumbers? Yeah. He's got, casually has one cucumber on his eye. Billy's eating the other one. Yeah. And in fact, the staff have brought me a bowl of cucumbers. Yeah. So, I mean, it's hard because it's just like, I didn't know it was that hot here and I don't know how to, like, deal with it.

So, like, I mean, I get, like, I get why you're so mad about me being in the icebox all the time. But I don't know where else to go. And, you know, my face is already so red. I'm so fat. But, you know, everyone here is really fit, it seems. And I don't want to show off how not fit I am. Show off. And, you know, and so that's why I have to wear my sweaters and stuff. And, and so I just wish you weren't so mad at me. Like, I made you a good lunch and you didn't even take it.

You're absolutely right. Yeah. You're absolutely right. And you know what? I will say this. What? I did eat the lunch when I got home. It was really good. Thank you. It was really good. I stole it from the bakery a few blocks away. Oh, my God. Billy. He ruins everything. Oh. What? I steal everything from there. Cinder and flames, Billy. Do you have a headache? Do you want a head rub? I do have a headache and I would hate nothing more than a head rub right now. But I'll tell you this.

I'll tell you this, Billy. Look, I'm sorry. I've, I just had a rough day. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be this short with you. And you know what? My dad, large as the day is long, there are plenty of people in McCall that are, that are big. Really? And you know what? I'll tell you this. You know what the secret is? What? Bright flowing fabrics. That's it. Really? That's it. They don't trap the heat. The breeze moves in and out. I've had this thick wool sweater forever and the raccoon cape.

I don't really know what, like nothing usually fits me. So I don't, I don't know where else to go. Okay. I might know somebody. I can get something made for you. It'll, it'll make the days a little bit cooler for you. Okay. Is that going to help? Yes. Thank you. Are you going to stop sleeping in the icebox? I guess I could get my own icebox. Yeah. That's a thought. I guess you won't be alone right now, don't you? You don't have to leave. But I'm not going to talk anymore. Okay.

I'll just eat my cucumbers. And he reaches over and he plucks a cucumber out of the bowl and he puts it over his eye and he reaches over and he grabs another one and he puts it in his mouth. Okay. And he lays back in the mud. I swim as best I can over to the concierge of the mud bath and I'm like, can I have a lemonade? Of course, young master. And they scuttle away. And I guess we'll just cut back to Tuck. I'm passed out. Oh, no.

I have passed out due to heat stroke and also the, like, vaporized gasoline that's in the air. Oh, God. So you come to, you're being shaken. Sir. Yeah, what? Sir? Hey. Sir. Oh, my God. There's just a spa attendant. Alec, is that you? No. Sir, you… The women of Spoutlor. The women of Spoutlor, you've returned to me. All three or four of you? I can't remember. Oh, my God. Help me. You woke up from the FATM night again, where he steals all the women in your life away.

And, but then, but there was one more. It was Farrah. Farrah. It was Farrah. Farrah, she's here. Oh, my God. Farrah, is that you? She's so taut. But you're fucking my uncle. No. Great. So you're shaken awake by a spa attendant. Oh, my God. Sir, you should not sleep in here. I can't. Okay. Do you need any medical attention? No. Can I get water, please? Yeah, absolutely. I would be glad to give you some water once we leave the steam room. Okay. We're closing. Okay. Okay. He gets out.

Good night, sir. Okay. There'll be some water at the front. I look for these guys. They're in the front area. Yeah. We're all just waiting. You guys don't recognize Ving until he whips around with his long hair. Ooh, it's flowing. It's like a sheet of silk. It's like down to his knees. Ving! I know. What the fuck, huh? Oh, you look so elegant. Thank you, Billy. Oh, my God. Where did your bag eyes go? They're gone. Really? Yeah. Oh. You look so youthful. You look eight and a half. Thank you.

You only look like a million years old. Oh, thank you. Jessica's squishing her own face into the wall. Thank you. You also look not a million years old. Thank you, Billy. We should do this more often. Tuck stumbles into the waiting room. You look like shit. So, like, has heat stroke for sure. Oh, no. He's got a cup of water with, like, some cucumber in it that's half full, but not because he's drinking it. It's just, like, all sloshed around.

And he looks at Ving and he's like, hey, you want to be one of the women of Spelt Lord? Want to tux, ladies? Oh, my God, buddy. Put it away. Oh, my God, Ving. Holy shit. Hey, man. Tuck's still wearing a spa towel around his waist, which covers more than his loincloth usually does. Tuck's really wrestling with the fact that he might be sexually attracted to his friend. Hey. Sometimes that happens to people, right? You're like, well, I guess this is going on in my brain now. Yeah.

You're so smooth and ripped now. Jeez Louise. Yeah, and I guess you guys just head home, right? Catch a tram, head home? I guess so. Yeah. Okay. And it is pretty late, probably, like, midnight, early a.m. Yeah, like 1 a.m. Yeah. Totally. Okay. You get off the tram, which is not terribly close to your neighborhood in Cliffside slash Stepside. The mids, as they call it, because it's kind of in between the two. Yeah. And as you're getting close to your building, something seems off. Hold on, guys.

My senses are tingling. So what are you rolling? What are you rolling? What are you rolling? Crap expert. Okay. Fuck me. Doesn't matter. I rolled a three, and plus, even my highest would have been five. You know, on second thought, never mind, forget it. Everything seems fine. You get into your apartment. Yeah, and you just go to sleep, I guess, right? Day ends. Yeah. Great. Much needed. Okay, so what's your plan for, yeah, the day? It's like the weekend. Yeah.

However the day structure works in McCall, it's the weekend. It's the weekend. It's the weekend. Cash is actually sleeping in. Like, he's still asleep. He's trying. Yeah, we're in the living room. I think we maybe should have a chat about what we should do next. Yeah, I'm like laying on the floor with the fairy book open. Are you reading it? Yeah, I'm just like rifling through it. Anything cool? Yeah, give me three lines written by this winter fairy about his first trip to like Oh, shit.

The material world. It was cold, but I did not feel it. It did not touch my soul. And when I woke, I lay beneath a blanket of snow. That's sick. That's cool. Okay, cool. Yeah, so Billy's just sitting cross-legged crisscross applesauce on the floor of the apartment reading a book. Tuck comes in from the bedroom sits down on the couch and where's Vang? I'm doing push-ups, dips. Tuck's trying not to fall. I'm trying to get distracted. Wow, this is becoming my butt. What is happening?

This is becoming a thing. I don't know why this is where Tuck's head keeps going. This is gonna become a thing. I'm into this. It's not. I think it's something else. Ving rolls over and starts doing cat-cows. Oh, wow. That's the bow back. Bent back. That doesn't do anything for Tuck. Back to the dips. Yeah, it doesn't do anything for Tuck? I think Tuck just really loves muscles. Okay, yeah, that checks out. He loves lumps. I like the right kind of lumps wherever they might be.

So what are you guys talking about? Tuck fills them in on everything he learned from Fatim. Yeah. Ditto with Ving. Oh, my God. That's crazy, you guys. Yeah. I didn't learn anything except where the bookworm might go. Where's that? It's bookworm heaven. Oh. To the great lawn beyond. You mean like where the baklava goes? Yeah, to the great bakery beyond.

And I should say, while you're sitting there and Billy's sitting on the floor reading, you can see Oman kind of creeping through Billy's hair, just like inchworming across his head. Nice. Should we try and see if we can talk to somebody in the, I forget the name, sorry, the family? Oh, the Siddell family? Siddell family? Could be useful, but they don't, they won't necessarily have a way to help you get into the hearth.

Okay, if I were you all, my first step would be get as much information as possible before exposing myself to the combined might of the light guard. Oh, duh. Don't just rush in. Would be what I would not do. Not rush in. Should we, should we talk to Perel? See what he's learned? Go over for breakfast. It's a weekend. That's true. Or Kevin. I haven't seen Kevin in two days. Oh yeah, little scoundrels. Oh yeah, the urchins might have a way into the hearth that we don't know about. That's true.

Maybe we split up. Like, there might be someone that either of us know that knows, like, sort of, info about the light guard, what they've been doing in the city. And Kevin might know how to get into the hearth. So if today was like knowledge gathering day. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Low stakes. But sneaky. Okay. What I was thinking is maybe going to talk to Greg at bar to see if he knows anything. Like, if he's heard what the light guard is doing. Perfect. So what are you, what's Bing trying to do?

There's, he's going to go talk to the lunar moths. He's been making friends with the lunar moths because he's been out at night and the lunar moths are attracted to flame, which means they go around the flame and they are always there at night. They're these huge, they're massive. Moths that like flap around the hearth. Oh shit. And they're enemies. Well, the light guard doesn't like them because the bullies who are on guard, they'll shoot like slingshots at them and stuff.

And lunar moths are big enough that if they get close to a flame, they usually just put it out, which is more of a pain than anything else. And maybe they, because they put flames out, they're just seen as like kind of, ooh, it's kind of like, sacrilegious. Yeah, totally. Totally. When one gets in a, an open window, fool boy. Yeah, it's like, they're not like demons or anything, but like, they're called devil birds. Yeah, that's what the light guard calls it.

And it's, it's kind of like how Muslims see like pigs is like unclean. Oh yeah. Yeah, totally. They're seen as evil because they blow lights out. Yeah. Huh. They kind of consume, like, that's what they're seen as. They see it as consuming the lights. Okay, great. Yeah, that's perfect. So, um, I mean, Kevin sounds like the most present one. So maybe we'll start with Billy. Okay. Do you want to do like your connections thing? Yeah, I think so.

Hey guys, I'm going to go for a walk and see Beth and Kevin. All right. Okay. Holy shit. 10. 10. All right. Sweet. On a 10 plus, someone has it just for you. Okay. So, yeah, Billy goes outside. He's got his little backpack with snacks in the book and his blue blanket. Um, he's still got his sweater and stuff, but he did shed the raccoon skin because he's like, I should just embrace my body.

And before, as he's running out, we're like, Billy, and we stop him and we grab him by the backpack and we shove like an extra water bottle in there. Oh, thank you. Just because he always forgets to bring water. He comes back so dehydrated. Yeah. Drink water. You're right. Thank you guys. I'll see you in a few hours. Okay. So Billy heads off to meet Kevin and Beth. Where is he meeting them today? Yeah, it's like brunch hour.

So he actually goes more to like step side because he knows that's where Kevin and Beth will be on a Saturday morning. He just goes down an alleyway behind like a hipster brunch place and he finds them hanging out on the dumpster. Oh, you come up with a name for that. Oh yeah. The hipster breakfast joint is called oof. Like, oh yeah. French for eggs. Oh, oh, F. Yeah. Oof. Oof. French exists in this world. Yeah, but it's overseas. So it's like all the cool kids are like, I've been overseas. Yeah.

I've been to vert grass. Oh, right. Yeah. Because it's French. Yeah, true. Oh, it already exists. Yeah. Um, so he goes to the dumpsters behind oof and finds Beth and, and Kevin eating some leftovers because everyone wastes so much food. Yeah, they're eating a bunch of eggs Benedict that they found in a pile and they're playing this little game with like chips, a piece of rock that they just flick at other rocks, basically. Hey, hey, Billy, Billy, we found a bunch of eggs. Yeah, nice.

And so excited. And Bethany's like, yeah, look at this one. It's like mostly whole. Oh my God. Can I have this one? Oh yeah, you can have that one. Really? Yeah, I already ate like too many. You ate too many? Okay. Too many. Whoa. And it's like poached so nicely too. Yeah. Can you believe rich people just throw this stuff away? I can't believe it. Honestly. Do you think they have any granola bowls left? Oh, let's see. Yeah. And she flips up in a garbage can and dives inside. Sweet.

So you want to play and he holds out his hand. He's got some pieces of rock. Oh man. Yeah, I could play for a bit, but I mostly had to ask you another question. What is it? I'm just wondering like if you guys know of a way to get into the hearth. The hearth? Yeah. The place where the white God live? Yeah. First, you want to get into Wiboy, then you want to get into Hoff. What are you doing, Billy? We're trying to help one of our friends. He lost, he lost his memory kind of.

I don't know how to explain it, but he, he needs some help and he hasn't been able to fix himself. Lost his memory. That's really sad. Yeah, he's really sad. He eats a lot of those like cheap sandwiches. Cheap sandwiches. That's too much. Yeah. The equivalent of the gas station hoagie. Yeah. You know, the ones like we eat them a lot, but if you're grown up, it's kind of sad if you eat them all the time. Yeah. Yeah, that's pathetic. And he picks up a poached egg and slams it into his mouth. Yeah.

That's disgusting. It is disgusting. I just like fistful like a bunch of like old Kiwis and fruit garnishes. And Bethany pops out of the garbage can with like two handfuls of granola like jackpot. Oh, nice. Thanks, Bethany. And she just tumbles out and climbs up next to you guys. Hey, Bethany. Yeah. I just asked Kevin, but have you ever been into the hearth or do you know a way in? Oh, I've never been in the hearth, but like there have been kids that have gone. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

There's a kid, Tobe. He said that he went and he said that he that he saw a boob when he went, but we don't believe him. A boob? A boob on a girl. Oh. Yeah. I don't believe him, though. Yeah, I don't believe him either. But there was this other kid. His name was Reb. It could be like the list of kids that actually definitely did get in. It's like one-eyed Reb. There's one-handed. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's one kid called Lucky. Nothing. He's fine. Yeah. Lucky.

He just lost two legs. And there's no then there's also no leg Reg. I don't know why he's not lucky, but. Oh, man. Yeah. And I guess the story that we always hear is that if a kid did get in, it's because they hopped inside a cart or something that was like going to the hearth for like supplies like every once in a while. Sometimes a centaur goes and takes in a bunch of stuff. Yeah. Like, you know, like clothes and foods like breads and foods like like fruits and stuff like that. Hmm. OK.

So do you know where the bread's from? The bread. I know where the bread is from. The bread is from a bakery. We in Cliffside and it's really good bread. So the white guys like, hmm. OK. I love your bread. I'll pay you more for it. Oh, that's smart. The bread bread people. Yeah. OK. Is it always the same center? No, but a centaur is like a big it's like a it's like a camel with a fat guy on it. But there's no wags on the fat guy. He only has camel legs. I know what a centaur is, Kevin.

My one time my aunt, she dated a centaur. He was really nice. He always had cool toys for me. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. He was really nice. He was really loud, though. Yeah. It hurt my ears sometimes. Kevin's losing focus. It's like he's thinking about centaurs. Kids this age can stay on task for maybe three minutes. Yeah. Have you ever seen like a centaur one like looks like this? He hops down on the ground and he's kicking his legs out in front of him. Really weird.

Have you ever seen him one day one like this? No. It's just not like that. No. Have you ever seen a camel run? Yeah. Fucking stupid. And that's how centaurs run. But there's a big guy huffing and puffing on top of it, making the sound of a camel like. So Jessica asking Sean, I'm probably not going to get more info of them than this. It's that if there has if there has ever been an effective way to sneak into the hearth, it's with a shipment of supplies.

But you would never do that because you don't want to get your arms chopped off like no arm. No, I definitely want to keep my arms and legs and hands and feet and face. Yeah. Because how are you going to get like more of the food if you don't have hands to steal it with? I think about that a lot. Do you want to one like a centaur with me? Yeah, I do. And Bethany hops down to and they just start running kicking their legs in front of these three spastic kids behind this fucking brunch restaurant.

I take a sip of water though. First, my dad's told me remember drink my water. These guys sound really nice. It's nice. You call them your dad. Yeah, they're not really my dad's, but like they kind of are in my heart. We know how that is. Yeah, we know how that is. All right, let's go run. Okay, let's one and they just run off down an alleyway. Billy's running like a like a centaur is really accurate. Yeah, it's just my regular run. Way up you guys and we'll cut to tuck going to bar.

Yeah, tuck is like he just walks in because it's like daytime. So they're doing like inventory and reloading and stuff and they're touched by the darkness came back last night and it was a pretty wild because one of them is a demon. I think that's the rumor. Yeah, and they're reconstructing the stage. It was ruined. Yeah. So Greg is downstairs in bar because it is like an underground thing, right? Yeah. Yeah.

So he's downstairs and he's got a clipboard and he's marking things off as people move around huge casks of ale. And spirits and all that and I go up to him. Hey, talk. What's up? You're not working till tonight. Yeah, no, I'm not. I actually I came because I have some questions about the city. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a lot different than when I left. Yeah, it is. It's been it's been quite a few years. What is fucking going on with the light guard? Oh, man.

Don't get me started on the GD light guard. Like I've been hearing a lot of weird stuff. Like I heard that the light guard is more militant. Around demons like that. The torch of McCall assigned the last prophet that the last shot was maybe assassinated. Well, whoa. I haven't heard that. That's a man. Keep me out of that. Keep me out of that shit. Yeah, it's been a pretty intense couple decades.

You know, at first when the light guard started getting more intense, people were like, ah, this is great. Like you notice don't see many afraid around at night anymore, right? Yeah. You see some, but not a ton. Yeah. Light guard. Okay. But you'll also notice that you see a lot of weird posters around on like, is your neighbor a demon and all these stupid drawings about demons. Yeah. Light guard. Fuck. Yeah.

And he does this gesture that's sort of like the up yours kind of gesture, but it's the index finger and the pinky finger up and he kind of jams them up. That torch is a real piece of work. Is he back in the city? That's what I hear. And so, yeah, I lean into Greg and I kind of whisper because there's people around and I'm like, I heard that the torch ran into some trouble a few months back and the purifier got fucked to D six plus. I would say this is charisma.

It's kind of a spell Lord, but it would be more charisma based. Yeah. So two to six plus charisma. It's 10. Okay. Wow. He leans in as well and takes on a somewhat conspiratorial tone. There's a lot of people. There's a lot of conspiratorial tones in McCall. There's a lot of conspiracies in McCall. There's a lot of people scheming. Yeah. It's also McCall is also known as the city of sand and secrets. Wow. And he leans in.

Greg leans in and you see his really carved elaborately carved tusks sticking out of his mouth. It's got like a naked lady on it. It's got like a naked dude on it. And then it also says get fucked. Whoa. That's pretty cool too. In his head tucks like man, this guy's the coolest person. And yeah, you get really close and he's like, all right way. I heard it torch put out to see the purifier go to some bullshit somewhere like I give a fuck.

But he came back tail tucked between his goddamn legs half his boat gone and I mean half like right down the middle half, but he still sailed out of it home. Say what you will about the torture McCall, but he is one crazy motherfucker. You ever hear about him? Keeping demons as slaves. He like spits. Come on. I mean the torch is the torch. He's he's put some pretty intense individuals to the flame, but you think he can chain demons that don't want to be chained. Come on man. Come on. Come on.

Come on. You see me. She saw me try to tell the lead singer a touch by the darkness that he couldn't stay at the hotel. He wanted to stay at what happened. What do you do? I mean, we almost put me through a wall. Okay, fine. Okay, and that was me just telling them. No. Okay, you're not not thinking of getting mixed up with the light guard. Are you? Oh, no. No, I I'm writing a song about the torch of McCall called a torch. I'm a torch of McCall me. Maybe Jesus Christ. You want to put that in?

Yeah, man. There's never something that I have wanted cut more that I've been more sure will remain. I fucking love it. I want I'm I demand that you write it. It's called the torch of McCall me before you go go. It's just like amazing cause. I don't know. It's a torch of McCall me by your name. It's it's called. I just torch of McCall to say I love you. Yeah, my favorite play is torch of McCall of the while. There's got to be more.

I'm gonna I'm not gonna have time because I just got the new copy of torch of McCall of Duty Black Ops. Yeah, well, okay. I just hope you know the light guard. I hate him just as much as anybody else as any other self-respecting work would but you know, they're dangerous, right? Yeah, I obviously yeah, I come on. I grew up in the sticks. I know the light guard are our friends. All right.

Well, if you do get the inkling to get mixed up and fuck around with the light guard at all and he leans in even closer and gets really close to your you come give me a call. Oh, okay, and he goes and starts writing stuff down on his his board goes. God that goes over here. That's supposed to be room temperature. That's supposed to be cold and he walks away. Cool. Cool and we'll cut to Paul. Yeah, I'm sorry video.

I'm playing a game with my friend sitting here having a coffee in a bubbly cut to say my balls off cut to being the half-elf druid just rolled a failure on a thing that he did not specify. All right. So what do you what's being trying to do? Ving is going to go to the there's a bunch of crevasses and they're dried up waterfalls that come from the I'm so bad with the names of all these what's the upper layer? Oh, the upper ward. Why not? That's so easy.

So from the acoly desert into the upper ward there was old waterfalls like geologically millennia ago. Oh cool and the lunar moths sleep in the crevices created there in the daytime because there's no Sun that gets in there. Oh so sick awesome. So he's going in to he's going out free climbing. I guess he's gonna try and go 127 hours later kind of style fucking Alex Honnold over here. That's so nothing bad happens didn't tell anyone where I was going.

So he goes in to talk to the lunar moths and finds them there. Cool. I mean, yeah there you climb down in the crevasse you leave the the burning Sun of the late afternoon because we're doing this over like a whole yeah. Yeah. Situation. It actually takes a while to get to where these waterfalls used to be. Well, I found a bunch of desert sage on the way. I'm gonna write that down. Okay, you can have it.

Yeah, so you climb your way down into these old dark eroded crevasses and you're like is this the right is the right place? I can't really see and your night vision adjusts. It's just wall to wall lunar moths and a big one comes like boom this all of a sudden again just as his vision like gets used to the dark and he notices he's in this thing all of a sudden there's big pair of eyes right in front of his face and a big lunar moth like flexes its wings out and there's looks like eyeballs.

Holy shit. Cool. What do they sound like you tell me you're the soft soft. Hello visitor. Welcome to our sanctum. Hello. I'm thinking super spirit Walker. A forest and frost Prince of the boreal reach a fellow royalty and it inclines its head. You're most welcome. Thank you. We've heard much of the spirit Walker upon the winds between here and there. I come with a request and a gift. What is your name? Moonshadow Moonshadow. You are a strong and beautiful moth. Thank you. You are so hot.

Uh uh uh. Stop. I feel like you're working out. What do you bring for me? I bring you a request from me. Well, I mean you said you had a gift. Did you want the gift first? That is how it is done. You ingratiate yourself to your host. I'm just going to give it to you at the end. Okay. Well, I mean we can do whatever is convenient if it's like deep in your bag. No, no, no. No, it's good. I don't want to fuck with your customs. I insist. I'm in you. I insist. Flap wings out. I insist.

I have a request wings fold up. What is your request? I need information on the light. Good. All through the cave all them. The light guard keepers of the flame. If I had saliva glands, I would do the same. Allow me to spit for you, please. Sorry. Gross. I'm dry. I've been the head desert. I don't want to get home. I'm writing checks that my throat can't catch. We need information of the comings and the goings and times. When we can we need enter. We want to bring them down.

This would please us. Then the flames would be kept by those that care for the most. It's very intimidating when you all do that. Same. As is the way you are going to have to roll something. Get great. I guess it's probably. Oh, no, it would be a parlay because you're offering gift. Yeah, great. 2d6 plus charisma. Oh, you got 10 plus. My charisma is 11. Hell. Yes. I'm going to go present the gift. My gift. My gift to you. And then he tears away his pants. These are 100% merino wool.

The golden fleas. Honey thread. And moon shadow reaches forward with the little grippers that ma that ma has. Yeah, that we all know they have and grabs the wool and goes like puts it in its mouth and eats a bunch of it. That is for your whole tribe. We will feast this night and tomorrow upon the honey thread. Very well. Allow me to share with you some information regular stuff. Not going to do this whole thing is moon shadow. All I need from you. All I need from you is to allow me to mark you.

I'm not going to do it. Sneaky bitch. I don't want to do it. I could have just stuck in here when you were asleep, but I wanted to ask permission out of respect to you and your horde. What a smart fucking move that was. I love this moon shadow dips down and extends its wings in a very bowing sort of thing. A very pleasant. Pleasant gesture and tips its head forward. It's too like huge frond antenna hanging on either side of you and says, Mark me as you will. I will act as your eyes.

Yeah, just bend down and and a kiss the top of his head. So dusty. Wow, that dust. It's not like a it's not like a myth. You're really dusty. He's about to kiss him on the head and then he sneezes in his face. Yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry. Droplets will work. Do not apologize. I will act as your eyes folds his wings back up. I hope to see you guys soon. You will see through me soon. Bye bye. Back flip back flip back. And then walks back into the desert with no pants. Dick hanging out.

Sun beaming vultures circling didn't think this through walking back. I can't believe I sneezed and spit all over that moth using up the last of my moisture. So it's the sort of thing like you for Billy when you came back from meeting Kevin and Bethany after your centaur game. You saw Perel at the cafe across the street. He was like, hey, why don't you come join me? Oh, sure. Yeah. Hi, Perel. Hi, Billy. How was your day? It was good. How's yours? I am. I feel alive, Billy. Yay.

I feel alive for the first time in a long time. That's good. Mm hmm. And you pass the time eating these shitty sandwiches. Tuck shows up. He's like, hey, come on. Why don't you join me? Yeah. Tuck sits down and kind of like relays the information that he got. And he does the same thing. I've got these notes. I think I'm making some headway on some ideas, etc. Ving shows up. The sun starts to come down. Yeah. Rooftop jumping in. Rooftop jumping on. And you guys are having a great time.

And then the sun goes down. You're just kind of chatting. It's a really nice time that you're having. You feel like you're moving towards something. You're having a nice meal with your friends. Perel has recently taken a smoking hookah. So like there's a hookah sitting next to him. There's like a nice like cloud of like herbal, fruity smelling smoke. Yeah. It's kind of like lemon. Yeah. Totally. You're all sitting around just chatting, having a ball. Perel smoking his hookah.

And then he takes a big, big inhale. He goes, wait, shut up. I'm not. We weren't saying anything. Shut up. Yeah. You said shut up. Shut up. You said. Shut up. Any points at your apartment. And we look up. And through the windows, though the lights are off because you're not there, you can see forms moving in the shadows. What? And the small glimmering light of a hooded sunstone. Someone's in our fucking house. And that's where we're going to end it for this week.

I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, plainly, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian Abdulaziz. So long. Playing Bing, the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Loppers. Take care. Playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. I'm going to beat him up. Thanks to Aaron Reid for our incredible ins and outs. That's what I've started calling them. The ins and outs. The IO, baby. We'll work on it. And thanks to our amazing supporters from around the world.

You can find us online at Spout Lore in most places, including patreon.com slash speltlore and speltlore.com slash money, please. Catch you next time, everybody. Bye. Bye.

And so ends the tale of adventures three Who tried the best they can the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly spout more

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Speltman's Spout Lore!

I'm your Game Master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz. Hello everybody. Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Offers. Hey there. And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes, they had infiltrated the world renowned and mysterious Margani Library. Ooh. The episode before that.

And when last we left our heroes, they had been infiltrating the infamous and world renowned and mysterious Margani Library, attempting to capture a small worm. Who was about to tell on them. These stakes are low. So wildly low. You guys were level 10 last season. And you did that stuff. You infiltrated the library. Ving choked out an intern with sloth style. You found some books on cooking that you all know about. You found some books on cooking that you all insisted on taking.

Well, you suggested it. And this one had a picture of a mushroom on it. Yeah. That looked like a cock. I mean, he probably, Tuck probably thinks most mushrooms look like penises. I mean, yeah. Because they come in all shapes and sizes. And he thinks they're all beautiful. To be fair, they are penises. Yeah. They are the penises of the earth. That's true. Okay. What else happened? Oh, Billy found a secret service ladder. Man, he's good at stuff. Yeah. Thanks. Behind shelves. Yeah.

Secret corridor. A piece of the wall slid away, revealing a ladder on the fifth level that only Perel was able to use to get to the third level where the thaumaturgical history and philosophy section is said to be. Tuck couldn't fit. So Ving and Billy stayed behind. And you did a little bit of infiltrating again, sneaking around and stumbled upon a lecture upon the outer dark and the beings, forces which inhabit it. And the ways in which they inhabit the earth.

And a little crossover, which was fun. And a little crossover. Mall Brats. Mall Brats. Join the Patreon to figure out what those characters are. Yeah. Why you would give a shit at all. Why you care about a bunch of 50 and 60 year olds with weird names. Yeah. But that lecture was being given by whomst you later discovered to be Farah Margani, master librarian, the head of the Margani library, who asked him to give a lecture on the! The!! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The!

The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The! The!

Light guard and she put a chair down in front of the door and said you have 10 minutes and we cut back we cut back at the end of the 10 minutes where we've been acting it out with like explosions and using like chairs in the room as props and stuff yeah davin has cut a table in half to symbolize the the purifier and he set the table on fire to be like this is where the torch of mccall was standing and it ends with you all throwing your hands in the air and panting and then clasping hands and that's how that's how we got here and that's why so much cardio 10 minutes long time sorry I can't believe we pulled off that dance that's why we have to be here in right now get to do some reading so your friend this is in the library right now yes yeah I see that's going to be a problem for him but he's a good he's good he's a good guy he's a good wizard guy yeah yeah he's a good guy you're good guys you guys are best friends already basically yeah we're good guys we could be best friends we're good I will admit that I'm interested in the theory behind a wizard for one still walking this planet terribly interesting and also losing his connection to the thaumic realm absolutely fascinating uh we should probably find him as quickly as possible yeah um so that we can all reunite and learn about uh help him read the books right yeah that's a great idea billy yeah I will be frank in the past when individuals such as yourselves have infiltrated the hallowed halls of this institution please don't say was murdered there have been some who have met the end at the hands of a librarian within these halls and I would like you to explain to me why you three should not be one of those individuals billy puts up his hand right away I'm nine ah yes okay why one of you two should not be one of those individuals when he says that we whisper to each other he's like now he's nine now he's not a thousand all the other times when you're trying to get him to go to bed he's like I am ageless yeah the immortal do not have bedtime he's like kicking so hard as we're trying to swaddle him I am as the seasons I'm nine oh now I imagine last night's bedtime was really difficult yes it's because we had let him have baklava too late okay she turns to you and she's not I am not going to kill you it has been many years since one has met their end in the library under my tenure I prefer that blood not be shed in these halls so I can promise that you will leave here alive whether on your feet or on your back depends upon your next sentence you know what not our worst sentence not what I meant to say not our worst sentence we've ever spoke yeah she looks at her watch not the worst date I've ever been on and I'm not going to kill you and I wink at her and then I start making my pecs do a little dance for her she taps her wrist I am like this is the sentence was that the right sentence so you come here with these fascinating but outlandish stories all true and you expect me to believe you but considering that no one has even attempted to roll anything oh I am reticent to believe you I'm gonna sing a song to the to the nipple dance okay what's going on what are you trying to do you're basically are you trying to be like hey we just need a book and we're gonna get out of your hair or what well we just want to peruse the books yeah and potentially borrow them for a long time yeah just we wanted to like kind of just be chill with what we're doing right now yeah all right she is she's basically like if it is true that amma margani my most revered many great times grandfather and founder of this library is alive and is the vessel of the icon of truth and a truth demon as you have stated I would very much like to have those chains broken it might be unwise for the library to wage open war with the light guard and if you three effective though foolish you seem we bow again you're madam my middle name is foolish my middle name is madam uh if you three were to agree to work on behalf of the library in an attempt to gain further information into the existence and servitude of amma margani I would perhaps be willing to overlook your transgressions here today do you guys have benefits for you absolutely not what I have to go to the dentist well the library cannot be seen to be directly aiding individuals that would be working against the light guard I'm sure you understand sure that makes sense do we get per diem it's five coins a day standard yeah it's our standard rate how is this rate not increased so far last year I know what you're talking about it's not a good thing inflation bitch yeah it's been a year and a half and you've always said uh five coins and you've gotten it once yeah and it's because you literally had to kick in a motel door yeah so she basically says no absolutely not I'm not paying you you can't stay here I can't be seen to be in contact with you in the slightest well then how will we know how to do our jobs how will we get here ah yes no I understand we should have a method by which we are able to communicate and she leans in her chair over to like the wall next to her where there's another one of those little bookworm holes and she taps on it and a little bookworm crawls out of the hole onto her finger and uh she holds it out in front of you and says should we agree that you will do my work in the city this will be how we communicate how your messages are sent back to me how is it gonna walk fast enough she whispers she pulls it up to her mouth and whispers very quietly to it and from around like around its body kind of unfurl two very papery wings and it goes like you're beautiful flies around the room and lands back on her finger and wraps the wings back up oh my god you're so precious what are those these are bookworms they've existed in this library for probably over a thousand years bookworms are of course so a sort of a nomenclature but they're sort of a mixture between a caterpillar and a moth they're incredibly intelligent able to uh weave quite incredible garments out of their silk and able to transmit information and collect information and codify information in a way that allows us to keep up with the organization of the library complex though it may be being asked do you have a name oh great bookworm oh man oh man yeah wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome Beautiful to meet you.

Oman. Oman. Oman. Okay, yeah, Oman. His name's Oman. Yeah. Oman. And it brings its front two little tiny legs up, and you see it kind of bow. Oh! Its tiny little legs. That's adorable. We bow. Yeah, we all bow. Yeah. It's incredible that you're able to speak to these creatures. Wow, these are incredible creatures. He sticks his finger out. Oman crawls over onto your hand. Beautiful. Now, please convince me. Yeah, do I have to roll these things? No, you still have to roll.

She's saying, here's all the things that might happen. Also, she's kind of saying, you're going to help me, and maybe I'll help your friend. Okay. Maybe we're asking for reassurance or something? Yeah. Well, I guess we're asking for access to the book that Perel needs, and also for them to not kill Perel, because they've certainly already caught him. Oh, absolutely. And we cut to Perel being, dragged through a hallway by two burly librarians. And his wraps wrapped around his neck.

What's Perel saying? He's like, no, I love books. I'm here for the books. I love to, I've lived here forever for books. It's dead weight. He just says, dead weight. And he goes limp. And they keep dragging him. One of them's actually a guy that I wrote down. He's just like a really stocky dwarf, and he's just dragging Perel's ass down a hallway. Okay. Okay. So, Tuck's gonna roll charisma to try and ingratiate us with everything that we've told her to help us. Yeah. And I guess this is a parlay.

Yeah. She's like, you'll help me and I'll help you. Okay, cool. Or I won't help you and you'll still help me. Or I'll throw you in a big, deep, dark hole somewhere. Yikes. We were just in one. We're fine with that. Fine. We love holes. Yeah. Give us the deepest, darkest hole you got, lady. Yeah. Deepest, darkest hole you got is the name of a band that is blah, blah, blah. Wow. Wow. You are not okay. I've never seen Abdul's joke-telling style break down in his own mouth before. Fuck.

Fucking fuck. Three, four. Plus charisma. Plus charisma. Five, six. Oh! Billy. Billy, help. Plus bond. Still six. Oh, why'd you only have one bond? Wait. Can we do an aid to an aid? Oh, we've done this before. Aid to an aid. Aid to an aid. Because we were all doing the aid. Yeah, we have to gratiate, of course. Yeah. Okay, so 2D6 plus bond. I've already bonded with Oman. There it is. Yes! Fuck. I got a nine plus my aid to Billy is a two, so 11. Okay, so that makes Billy's aid a seven.

How is Billy aiding? Which makes… Oh, Billy's like… He's doing like the big baby eyes at her. Like, please, I'm just a little poor boy. Nobody loves me. Just a poor boy. From a poor family. Poor family. Spare him his life from this monstrosity. Easy come, easy go. Will you let us go? Bismillah! No! Will you not let us go? I'll let you go. Let us go! Never, never, never. So that's a seven, which means that she needs concrete assurance of your agreement right now. We have that water journal.

That was written by Aquarian Perel and them. Oh, as an addition to… Yeah, bartering knowledge they don't have is genius. Okay, so Billy pulls out the old journal and he's like, Okay, if you help us, I'll give you this book. It was written by three wizards. And it's just like their notes and stuff. And it's really important. And this is the original copy. And there's only one. And you can have… You can have it. Only if we can read all the magic books and you don't imprison us.

And you don't kill Perel. And you let us stay for a while to read all the books. Also lunch. We want lunch. Also, we're really hungry. We need lunch too. We literally just ate potato salad. Yeah. It's just a tiny potato salad. I'm sure you understand, Billy, that you are not offering me this book. You are giving me this book. I'm… Offering it. She takes the book out of your hand. She takes it right out of your hand. No. No problem. Just…

When you try and pull back, you're basically just being dragged across the floor. No. And she kind of picks it up and shakes you off like a little bug. Fine. But I tore out a good chunk of it. I'm lying. If you want these pages. Yeah. She flips through the book and she finds herself drawn into a few pages, really getting into this book, flipping a couple more pages. That's a good one. Isn't it? Yes. It's fascinating. An original copy.

One of the magicians upstairs is one of the magicians from this book. Sure are a lot of frog drawings in here. Yes. Yeah. That's… Yeah. That's his work. Fascinating. I am willing to accept this book as a token of your servitude to me. I bow. And I would also be willing to accept consultation on occasion by Perel. Is that the name of your friend? Yes. Yes. He would be honored. I would love a second set of eyes.

One of the original authors to walk me through this text on some of the more complicated topics. And as part of our agreement, I will now release you into the custody of the library temporarily so that we may find your friend and you may peruse the thaumaturgic history and philosophy section. And the sandwiches. And the sandwich section. I'm sure we can find you something to eat, but you must understand you are not staying on the premises. Yes, we are. No, you are not.

You mentioned that you have an apartment in the upper ward. Yeah. That is where you will remain. She knows all about cats. That is where you will remain. You will not be staying on the premises. You are not librarians. You are merely deniable assets of a type. But we can come and go as we please. Absolutely not. That sounds great. When you have information from me, you will speak to… Oman. Oman. The worm said its name was Oman, correct?

And Oman will return to me, relay that information to the hive. And the hive will relay it to the librarians and we will communicate that way. Cool. Now, let us go find your friend. She walks you out and through the sections of the library. She takes you up to the fourth floor, finds the room where Perel is being kept and interrogated almost. Or they're like getting ready to interrogate him. And spilling his guts. Okay. I'm a wizard. My friends are Tuck, Billy and Ving. Tuck is huge.

He's really dumb though. That's his weakness. Ving is almost seven. He's really tall. He's really skinny. If you hit him in the… If you hit him in the leg though, he's got a trick knee. If you put Billy in a burlap sack, that would do it. And we come around the corner. Oh, hi everybody. You'll never get a word out of me. We heard you. Burlap sack. I thought you knew me better. Burlap sack. I told you that in confidence. Yeah.

And Farah comes in and puts her hand on the shoulder of the dwarf librarian and says, Burke, this man… Is to be released. Yes. Very well. I was just about ready to get it out of him. I was going to crack him like an egg. And Burlap is like… Burlap is like sweating, staring at this guy like, looks like nobody's eggs are getting cracked today.

And he stands up and he brushes himself off and he picks up the fake mustache that fell off of his lip, slaps it back on his face and says, I believe that I shall be going now. And I assume you just fill him in on the deal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We let him know. Farah said that we could go look at her magic books as long as you helped her figure out what's going on with this notebook that you wrote in. And also as long as we, I don't know, steal her dad back from the light guard. Yeah.

Seems pretty simple. And Burke, the dwarven librarian, looks at all of you. And… And Farah's like, I will, I'll fill you in. I should make it abundantly clear that Ammar Margani is not my father. What was it? Grandfather? Great. Many times great. Ammar Margani died or supposedly disappeared over a thousand years ago. Whoa. Wait, how old are you? I am 102 years old. Whoa. What? Is she human? Oh, yeah. What? She looks 70. How? She's 102. And she's a fucking snack for a 70 year old. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know why Tux is sexually attracted to her. Physical prowess. That's all he cares about apparently. Yeah, I guess so. She says, I exercise a lot. It shows. I eat well. I take care of my body. My body is a temple and a weapon. Huh. Cool. I can relate. Fist pump. Same. And then I put my fist in there too. And it's got a Twinkie in it. Billy's clutching potato salad. Yeah. She smiles to herself and puts her hand in for the fist bump.

Now, I will allow you to go to the third level to the Thaumaturgic History and Philosophy section to find what you require. I will be expecting regular updates in the form of Oman returning to the library. But understand, if it is at all possible, I would like you to both locate and release Amar Margani from the service of the Lightguard. Okay. Okay. We'll do what we can. Yeah. I expect nothing less. Okay. And she bows and she turns and starts walking down a corridor. Okay. Off to her work.

Bye, Farah. Bye. Wow. What a head. What a head of the library. What a lady. Wow. What a woman. That was Perel. Okay. Did she say she was 102? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm 110, but I'm… Magic. Yeah. And also, you look like shit most of the time. I look like I'm 130. Trust me. I mean, I should make it clear, but for a wizard, I have aged poorly. I spent a lot of time in swamps. I know. Yeah. That shit does not do good. It's very corrosive some of the time. I was 109 when I went into the box.

Then I spent almost 100 years in the box. And now it's been about a year since I've come out. So, yeah, that makes sense. I'm 110. Technically 210. So, I'm looking pretty slick for 210. God. I guess so. Thank you. And he turns away. He just starts walking. Nope. Thank you. You said I look good. You said I look good. Thank you. Everybody agrees. Goodbye. I turn to these guys and I'm like, I think being stuck in that box maybe is what made his skin so ashy. Oh, probably.

He wasn't getting enough vitamin D. Yeah. It explains why his fashion sense is so out of date too. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So, yeah. I mean, all that there is really left to do in the library right now is to go check out some books. Great. Sweet. When we get up to the third floor, can we all like Spout Lore about like some books we're flipping through? Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll do like a Spout Lore per person. Yeah. Okay. Cool.

So, yeah, you're on the third floor in the Thaumaturgical History and Philosophy section, which is the whole chamber. That's what this is. It's all books on magical philosophy, theory, history. And Perel is like… He's like agape. He's so excited. He's like running his hands along the bookshelves, like running down the aisles like Belle in Beauty and the Beast. He's having just a ball of a time. He's singing that song. I can't remember the library. There must be more than this provincial life.

Just watch, I'm going to make Belle my wife. There goes the baker with his tray like always. The same old bread and apples to serve. He's like singing to himself. But you've read it three times already. He's doing all the voices. He's spinning and stuff. Yeah. And that's the thing is he's singing it all in his head. So when you see him, he's just silently spinning in a circle with his arms outstretched. The ladder on rollers. Yeah. Yeah. So Perel's going crazy in here. He's having so much fun.

And you're all just kind of walking around grabbing books off shelves. Yeah. The vibe is our parents took us to Sears and we have to kill time. Yeah. Somebody. I mean, what we're going to do is we'll go. I mean, I always do left to right. So we'll start with Abdul. Think of a topic and then Spout Lore. And if you get a partial success, you learn something interesting. And if you get a 10 plus, you can tell me how it is useful to you. So this is a magic theories. Theory. History. History.

History practices like accounts of the lives of famous magicians. Warlocks. Oh, cool. Yeah. Oh, no. Yes. All right. So warlocks. Two to six plus intelligence. Oh, fuck. Oh, man. Well, plus my intelligence is 12. Sick. Wow. Wow. How many spelt lores has it been that you succeeded at? This is number two. Oh, man. Okay. Okay. So tell me something. Interesting and useful about warlocks. Oh, I'm flipping through the book and there's like an accounting of like all references to warlocks in literature.

It's like all the different times we've seen warlocks referenced in plays, poetry, music, and it's like organized by date. Like I kind of just flip to the first section, which is labeled prehistory. The first piece in there is the Sea of Graves poem from the end of season five. Uh huh. Wow. Wow. In between the wicked waves, there is an ocean full of graves. I'm not going to read the whole thing. Yeah, please. But the go to the end of season five if you want to hear that poem.

Jessica does an amazing reading of it. Thanks. Underneath, it's like an annotation that it's like, this is a children's nursery rhyme known the world over. Like principalities, McCall, Panuja, everyone knows this, implying that it is, its origin is in the prehistory from like whatever event created the Sea of Graves. Mm-hmm. And then there's like… Yeah. And then there's like a, like it indicates the line, a door beneath the ocean floor, it needs a lock and nothing more.

And it's like, it does not make sense that to open a door, you have to put a lock into it. The hypothesis is that because the poem has probably changed so much over time, that was originally referring to warlocks. Mm-hmm. And that warlocks are the only people who can open the door beneath the ocean floor. Whoa. Cool. Fuck, that's so sick. Which is most likely Lillian's tomb. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I mean, yeah, Tuck having been there connects those dots.

The only thing that I will, I think, because I think, yes, that is the reference is it means warlock. Like reading it and having been there and seen things and learned what you learned, the thing that you think about is that, yes, it's probably a warlock that would be required to open the door, but also probably a warlock that closed it in the first place. I thought Chimes closed it. Chimes said he helped build the tomb. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. So a warlock is the one who trapped Lillian here.

He just said that he was part of the construction of the tomb. He didn't say who else was. But the thing that you for sure are guessing is that Chimes knew or knows a warlock. Oh. And I think that it is. Yeah. Because I was saying that it doesn't mean this in earth languages, but I think the word warlock is a form of a word that means to bind or be bound. Oh. Cool. So like that is what they're, they either bind.

They're really good at binding things like demon, other demons, other warlocks or their, and it also considers the fact that they are bound by whatever icon they are inhabited by. Yeah. So you learned that a warlock was involved in the construction of the tomb of Lillian and that Chimes probably knew them personally. Cool. Yeah. Sick. Cool. Is that, is that useful information? Yes. Okay. Great. It's useful in that. It probably, it probably will give some of our listeners a fucking hard.

It's given me listeners. Yeah. I mean, I listened. Okay. Paul, what, uh, what book is being found? It's a book on when the sect of the Druids left the, the magistrate of magicians, the history of the, the division between the Druid magic and, and, um, the Druid magic. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Roll it. 2d six plus, uh, intelligence. Uh, I get to use wisdom because of my, yes, you do shit. Yeah. No, thank God I got seven, seven. Okay. So, um, lay some world building on us.

What, what ha how did that happen? What did it do? But you're not unfortunately going to get anything that's like actionable information. That's fine. I think it was that they, the Druids weren't. They weren't tied to the land. And so they, they had more of a, a spiritual nature to that.

And because that conflicted with magicians, they're more hands on, they're more construction and they're more like they build things with the magic and they do things with the magic with the spiritual, uh, realm is, is interacting with the spiritual realm is already there. You're feeling the force part of the flow. So they were more part of that scene. And like, you don't have to be so destructive in the spiritual. The magicians were way more. More destructive.

And, you know, uh, part of that was, uh, part of the wars, right? Like there was part of the way back when. Yeah. Right. Yeah, totally. I just had a eyes, a gape revelation. Yeah. Well, cause something that we've revealed that we talked about in, uh, spout Lorigin's for cruel runnings was that traditionally Druids of the shape-shifting variety have been half elves. But. Yeah. And now we're talking about. Connecting dots that we have laid out considering things.

Mother Iliana was a shape-shifter and a human. Yeah. And now considering that you're reading this book, that's like, oh shit, Druids and magicians were like connected. Either they work together or they're cut from the same cloth, but there was just like a philosophical division and how they worked their magic. I think Ving is asking himself some questions like, was my mom a fucking wizard? Well, everyone called her a witch. Yeah. Yeah.

And because of, you know, of her, her potions and her, that sort of stuff and shape-shifting, I guess. Yeah. Because everything that you were taught was that it's only possible for Druids to shape-shift if you have both human and elf blood. And your mom never really got into why she could shape-shift. But now that you're thinking about it, she never really aged all that much when you were young. Your dad was afraid of her. My dad was afraid, very afraid.

And also now you're like, okay, well, why was I able to. To take so many forms. What's the spirit Walker thing? Cause you're still trying to grapple with that. Like your total is whatever the spirit Walker is. The fact that you could take whatever form you chose to take. Yeah. I think that Ving is having some, like, is trying not to do that thing where you're like, oh my God, you know, like you kind of start spiraling with all the possibilities.

So, yeah, that is something that I think Ving learns. That's pretty huge. Because Druids and magicians kind of came from the same starting point. But became very. Very different over time. Oh. Damn. Cool. Family mysteries. They're deep. He's going to take that to his counselor. He has a counselor as part of his work, I guess, because you work for the city. Yeah. Yeah. It's a free employee program, though. So it's really only eight sessions.

He's saying, he's saying that I'm going to take this back to my counselor. Only got a few sessions. This is going to be really handy for my counselor. Wow. I'm excited. I'm excited by that revelation. Pretty sick. Okay, Jessica. Yeah, that's really cool. What book has Billy brought to someone to read to him? Well, Billy can't really read. So he went on a little wander by himself and he did spy a book that he could read. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And it's in fairy language, like the ancient runic language.

Whoa. Yeah. So he picks that up and it's like really old. Super old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like ancient, like the most ancient runs. That's why, like Billy could kind of like some of it was familiar.

Runes yeah is it slightly hieroglyphic um they're more abstract and cruder for sure uh like penises and boobs uh definitely no well it's like I think about it like um like cuneiform right where it was just like we have a triangular stick we poke it into this clay yeah and that's how we make all our letters very like specific like it doesn't look like much if you can't read it hell yeah so what's the book about so it's written by a winter fairy yeah yeah yeah that's awesome and billy knows that's like well it's obviously a really old book and that like to become a winter fairy that's a really old spirit and the book it's a first person account and it talks about the splitting of like the fairies from the spirit world because originally that's what a fairy is is it's a spirit that like rejected natural laws of the spirit world whoa and so they were ejected from the spirit world and they just kind of exist between the spirit world and like the outer dark which makes sense why billy can kind of manipulate magic yeah and interact with demons yeah yeah holy shit so cool so the fey is the space between the outer dark the thalmic realm the spirit world in the material plane it's sort of that in-between spot uh-huh yeah their nature is chaotic but not evil yeah and they can move within things like fluidly like that so they can move between all the different realms sort of like billy could go to the spirit world you know he's but he's not a spirit so he couldn't like he didn't transform into anything yeah okay all right cool cool cool cool you gotta roll time to roll to learn because I want you to tell me about this this fairy like if depending on what you got plus intelligence fuck are you kidding me god snake eyes holy shit one two oh no can we do it I wanted to know this so bad oh wait no no no no no wait no what we said was that failure oh you're still gonna learn things but I'm gonna keep that failure for later okay so you're not getting unfortunately you're not gonna get any like actionable information out of it like billy's not gonna learn a new power or whatever yeah um but we are gonna hear the story about this fairy and hear about like how it came here what it did oh yeah it's just that like it talks about the breaking like the exile of the fairies and they are cast away nowhere to go and so they lived in this like kind of like a shadow world of the spirit world like it was almost like a memory of like the landscape and in that world the fairies like built it up themselves like you know I I miss I miss the trees I miss the flowers so they made their own versions of trees yeah that are kind of like it's kind of like a wapple tree but it's like the like like the insights are silver or something like it's like different and things could change when they like wanted it to like when you were when you first met perel and the birds were singing backwards oh yeah they were yeah yeah and over time the fairies became like better at that like at shedding their the natural laws that bound them and so they learned to play and like in that play like transform stuff just naturally like you know whatever they wanted or needed it could be anything yeah you don't have to bend the rules you can just do whatever you want to do it's just like it's rules there are no rules yeah and in and over time from that they were able to slip into the physical world and play there but they still because I mean we've talked about how they're like billy was bound to a tree or whatever so but they still need that like anchor point yeah so they can't like exist on their own as themselves they have to like inhabit something like it could be like a house or a shoe it could be a living plant or an animal it could be ephemeral things um but once that object is gone uh then they would be like they would be like they would be brought back to like the fairy realm or they would have to find something else to inhabit but billy's able to stay permanently because he inhabited this child that was dying at the time yeah so cool fucking cool all right what's perel doing right now uh he's going systematically from shelf to shelf pulling volumes off and throwing them into his arms and perel is like I've just been having the best time here I've okay but here okay I found something this is an accounting of another wizard named bradley who had their connection to their thalmic power severed not in the same way not by their friend cutting through their neck with a shadow axe hey I saved your fucking life I don't want to talk about it right now you keep I don't want to talk you said you were fine with it when we got here you said we worked through it and then you keep opening this thing back up I'm working through a pretty devastating change in my life I don't blame you but you were certainly a key part of it you that's fair no it's not fair because yesterday when we all went out for ice cream I asked for tiger tail and you brought me back an empty cone and said this is how I feel all the time I do and now that you have felt the cone that does not hold the cream you know what it is like to be a wizard that does not hold their power pearl do you need to see a counselor yes absolutely I know one you can come see mine she's great uh I do not get mental health benefits through my job what is your job what is his job it's a dishwasher at the cafe I actually I bet he does work at the cafe that he lives over yeah he's yeah he's like a prep guy he just cuts vegetables just a line cook and he hates it because he has to do everything with his hands like physically it's infuriating bad at it yeah you know I could just turn this carrot into a sandwich if this was a year ago and then janet's like listen I'm tired of listening to this stuff you gotta just do your job man cut it that's what I'm paying you for uh yeah so he's talking about like okay here's a book that I found about another wizard who lost connection to their power here's a book that contains a passage that I found about someone who was not a wizard who was imbued with thalmic energy pretty incredible what was their name gradly you know what it's pretty wild that the two books had such similar names that's cool I wonder if I need to change my name to an ad sounding name and this he found a third book and this this book is about uh someone who was able to develop thalmic energy develop the power cultivate it from nothing so I think I've got three pretty good directions that I can go in yeah um I think I'm gonna stay for a little bit longer and read the books more oh yeah that's fine for sure so I'll see you all later sounds good okay yeah thank you thank you and he gets like he's so excited but is that's dying away a little bit as he's thinking and he's like thank you so much for thank you oh it's no big deal we just had to swim through some poop yes broadly you did have to swimsuit through some poop but there was a lot of risk involved I know that you are putting your lives on the line for me that's what friendship's like you know sometimes you have to wade through shit my friends in the past have traditionally not been the kinds to wade through shit for me and I just wanted to tell you how much I love you I appreciate it tuck grabs him by the shoulder and he puts his hand in his pocket and he pulls out the crumbled remains of the cone that he gave him and he gives it to him in his hand and he's like I wish that that was a more fulfilling gesture than it was and it's not even in his hand it's on top of the three books that he's holding I hope you can fill this up get some cream in this should have said that that's what I thought you were that's what I was thinking you were saying that's so funny but you didn't yeah tuck didn't clue that in honestly billy said it but billy said it yeah billy I don't know puts his hand on top on top because he thinks we're doing like a friendship hand thing and billy's standing on a shelf that's at shoulder level with perel he sereno de bergerac's the the correct line into tuck's head which is like just say this I hope you can fill that up the cone that is such an incredible thing to say billy such a thing that just cut to the heart of the issue yeah I wish someone else had said that I'm just you know they probably have an ice cream machine here so oh he means actual ice cream you mean actual ice cream yeah what else would I mean don't worry about it billy okay ding do you have anything heartfelt no I don't have anything heartfelt about it that you'd like to share with me I mean no I mean the cream thing I was gonna say yeah cream but I hope your cream fits in this cone but that sounded gross billy said it better even though he meant ice cream you know I'm sure we didn't even really have to do this I'm sure you guys know that I appreciate no we had to do it okay all right well I'm gonna go read some books and take some notes I'm gonna do some homework thing reaches forward and pulls the mustache off you don't need this anymore pal I guess I don't have to hide anymore he puts it on billy thank you I'm gonna need this because I'm stealing this book because I'm stealing this book are you actually stealing the book yeah all right tricks of the trade yes oh holy shit eight plus dexterity is ten and what does ten plus say on tricks of the trade uh ten plus I do it no problem yeah damn okay so it's not a huge book because it was written by a fairy yeah um I guess you just slip it in your pack yep oman definitely knows that you took it but he won't say a thing will you oman it is my duty thing shoots out of his face and he zips away into the cupboards oh maybe use your last hold oh my last hold oh to charm yeah an individual for a short time whoa whoa whoa wait oman I'm just gonna say this book is a good book I'm just borrowing it and he doesn't say anything you ving you hear him just kind of or you watch him uh curl up he crawls into billy's hair okay and there's just a bookworm in billy's hair now but it doesn't fly away yeah it's nice in there isn't it it smells like cheese you don't have to leave it was all a dream uh and yeah billy billy gets away with this fairy book cool yes this is gonna come back to bite you I can only assume I don't know if it's gonna come back to bite you I don't care it's the book of my people yeah he deserves it that's true it belongs in a library it's in a library put it back uh okay so well and you guys are just heading back to your apartment I guess ooh from the margani library it probably takes a while to get back to your apartment they actually do the blindfold thing too oh right they just dump us on the street I imagine it was sort of like the crowd from the lecture hall is heading back on the same bus too and we're just like oh my god we get dropped off at like other buses so that people don't know and then we're dropped off in like the center of the city totally yeah so it's a couple hours of them transferring you to different carts there's one that's pulled by a centaur who seems like a pretty chill dude he drags you around for a little bit you get into separate carts all the carts scatter all over the place there's a lot of shell game shenanigans tuck's trying to sherlock holmes like figure out what is how to how what the path is by smelling the bus with a pen and paper and then he's like oh my god it smells and tastes and stuff we passed by this one place it uses a specific kind of beer in the bathroom can I you're gonna actually try yeah oh yeah I guess so yeah I guess it would be I hope lauren smells I guess it would no I guess it would be discern realities yeah wisdom to use your fucking brains to figure out where the library is okay here we go fuck four plus five okay five shit you think there's without a doubt without a shadow of a doubt that the library is beneath the biggest tetherball stadium in all of mccall because they're all jacked they must play tetherball totally yeah there's no way that they don't they run the tetherball league and he's smelling the air and he's like yeah I can smell tetherballs yeah I can smell balls he showed that to everyone and he's trying to be kind of a dick to the guy that's driving the cart where he's like oh you're not gonna tell me where we're going to go well I'll tell everyone where we are and I'm like I smell balls we're near the tetherball court we're near the fig martha memorial tetherball stadium and you got and like the driver looks around and it's just bear desert you're just in the alcoholy desert right now he just went around the city yeah and every once in a while he's like croissants we're in the bakery district now and the library everything smells like shit to him though he's coated in shit he's covered in shit he's covered in shit he's covered in shit he's covered in shit the smell does not work that's why you're only smelling food because there's remnants of food in the town's shit and yeah you get dropped off and they take your hood gets taken off and you were just in a regular ass looking rickshaw with like a regular blindfold on totally normal person pulling it and you're just in the middle of the city what wait where did the centaur go what centaur I'm taking you out for a drink on the town people don't have accents like that here but this guy does who are you my name's gibby I came all the way from the principalities I did I had a dream to be a rickshawman just like my grandfather before me wow he tips his cap and he runs away oh I wanted more information he leaves you in the rickshaw the rickshaw tips backwards and you all fall out oh shit and you're just in the middle of the city and it's nighttime and you can tell you're in cliffside because of the the nighttime glow of all the neon signs oh what should we do guys I mean get cleaned up get a rest have some tea go talk to a thing let's go to a bathhouse oh yeah good idea yeah let's go to a bathhouse we look like shit I feel like cash is gonna get really mad if it's two nights in a row that we're covered in shit okay that was what I was gonna ask why not just go home and shower but it's because you don't want to make cash mad uh okay so you're going to a bathhouse is there a particular bathhouse that the crew goes to I guess we're going to kind of a nicer one because we're treating ourselves because we actually did a good job for once yeah we're like high-fiving on the way yeah great job you said you were going to a good job you stole that book bill bill that was amazing and I and I tore this page out of the book I was looking at oh what does it say it's about how warlocks are in the thing it's a table of contents unfortunately you just ripped out the table of contents what the fuck that's not useful I put the table of contents back in my bag it'll help us find it next time we go to the library but it won't help you find the chapter because tuckled's definitely going to lose that table of contents uh yeah so you go to the library you go to a um place that is called the the summer flower bathhouse holy shit and spa and that one is in the lower ward the lower ward what it's the nicer one we want to go to the nicer one wow okay so you're taking uh various forms of transport you actually go down into the deep ward you catch a tram that takes you all the way out of the cliff cool into the lower ward uh-huh and this it's cool because the lower ward has its own tram station like it's above ground it's very fancy lots of cool like wrought metal uh things with like flower designs they have roofs with like flowers like grown into it and the roofs all have um windows like windows in the top that have very elaborate sun designs and like fire motifs and all that yeah with sunglass sunstone oh yeah beautiful sunstone shit many small things like that are like sunstones smaller pieces yeah yeah like the one in the lighthouse is gigantor but there's like fancy little like lamps and stuff made of out of sunstone down here I think the uh like it's fire is like high class sunstone super high class totally yeah and so those are the two light sources down here but you're you're you're um struck by the number of open flames that you see there's like braziers torches lamps and it's all just fire oh my god with the occasional sunstone thing like the here and there and there's salt statues oh yeah yeah!

Yes okay so I was actually thinking they might ring the bay mm-hmm like they're along the inside of the bay wall huge statues yeah how big is it yeah uh oh like so how tall is the the cliff again like 90 feet yeah let's say 90 100 feet yeah so the statu- the statues are about that big like I think the heads of some of the statues almost reach the top of the cliff to cliffside yeah whoa they're gigantic they're monolithic they're enormous and they depict the various prophets of fire that have lived throughout the years does the torch of mccall count as a prophet of fire no he is a different entity altogether okay so actually that was a question that I had because we've talked about the- we talked about the prophet of fire a million years ago mm-hmm I figure there have been a bunch since then mm-hmm like maybe six or seven sure and they- they're the prophet like from childhood to their death mm-hmm how do people know that they're the prophet of fire has something happened to them I think it's like some dalai lama stuff like there are tests that they administer to them to see if they're a prophet or not like there are tests that they administer to them to see if they're a prophet or not mm-hmm mm-hmm administer to potential children and if the children make the right random choices they're like ah yes this is the next prophet of fire like if some kids mobile burns down like oh yeah a lot of arsonists I guess okay how about this so since so much of the religion of the flame is about enduring hardship most of the prophets of fire have been from poor working-class families but the most recent one is from the lower ward oh and it's considered like strange like the like the really pious that aren't wealthy people are like that's kind of fucked I don't know about this but they're not open about that because of course it's the prophet you don't say that kind of stuff and that came kind of about the time that like the political shift yeah I've been the torch took over and he was given a mandate to like exterminate demons yeah find the next prophet and the torch found this child the torch is the one that found this kid no that's right so the torch it again it is not an unusual thing because it's usually the like it's usually the jinn that find him what are you sorry oh so I've have I talked about gin yet no okay so gin were an idea that I had for like a cool kind of priest cast I guess so a long time ago the story goes that the God of the flame bound the jinn to be like his emissaries and priests so jin traditionally in mythology have like bodies of smokeless they're just like beings made of fire which the God of the flame was like hell yeah hum all about that so they could interact with humanity the God of the flame created for them bodies of fired clay so they have these very elaborate bodies that look like ornate suits of armor but made out of like ceramic not glazed pretty rough but like earthenware earthenware but the designs are very intense and elaborate but they look like um walking suits of clay armor with fire flickering inside them okay yeah so usually the jinn identify the new prophet yeah but this time the torch did whoa oh man it's just wrought with power and balances yeah cool so the the summer flower bath house you arrive at its beautiful tiled front gate and you just walk in what's your usual uh order when you go to a bath house oh we've never been to one this fancy but I would like hello hello uh madam hello hello us three would like to order a bath we have many packages that involve bathing oh packages okay I've never been to one with choices please gaze ye upon our menu posted here on the wall what would be you what would be the best one for like uh a night spent in and around a sewer you would be looking for one which draws upon the toxins of the body pulling them out of the flesh and skin and so and for that I could only recommend our finest herbal mud soaks okay yeah sure sure do you guys do laundry it peels off shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!

Of beautiful and seemingly very old baths carved out of the finest sandstones glazed with the most beautiful glazes and bubbling with the richest most earthy muds with which to soak your tired bones and just at the very end of the chamber is Cash Cash is at the bathhouse yeah he's just like he's getting his nails he's getting a mani pedi and he hears the doors open and he briefly lifts a cucumber off his eye and looks to see who it is what's up we're like we came here to give you a night away from us and he sinks below the surface of the mud oh he looks relaxed and I think that's where we're gonna end it for this week I've been your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid Paul Oppers and playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief Jessica Tai thanks to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music which thrills chills and spills the great feelings every time spills spills feelings and thank you to all of our amazing supporters the world round you can find us at Spout Lore most places on the internet including patreon.com slash Spout Lore or Spout Lore.com slash money please we'll see you next time bye bye so long and so ends the tale of adventure three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for time's abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution resolution returning next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I gladly Spout Lore

Hello, listeners. It is me, Sean O'Hara, your game master. And joining me as always, Abdul Aziz. Hi, everybody. Paul Oppers. Hey there, guys. And Jessica Tai. Hi. Sorry, I jumped that. You really jumped the gun. Jessica's really here. This is an exciting time. It's an exciting time, everybody. We're here to make an announcement. There are some changes coming. Good changes. Yes. To our Patreon structure, including some new tiers. Yeah. We've got a new website. Oh, 100%. Wow. And.

And some merch coming your way. Yeah. If you want it. Yes. Spout Lore merchandise for the first time. Which you do. Because I do. Yeah, I do, too. And people have been asking for it for a while. Yeah. And it's all designed by who's that? Yours truly, Abdul Aziz. No one else designed this merch. So when you look at those. Abdul Aziz stole a USB drive from Jessica Tai and has put his name on everything she made. He stole my iPad. I am very sad. I actually saw it happen.

He ran into our into our apartment, pushed Jessica over, said, this is mine now, and then ran out with her iPad. Yeah. I yelled, it belongs in a museum. It belongs in a merch store. With the exact kind of moral defense that Indiana Jones would use. So, yeah. Well, let's talk about some Patreon levels. We are adding a. Discord channel. To the levels that already exist. We're going to say. We're going to say. We're going to say the same, but you get a like you get a discord integration. Yeah.

There's going to be discord available to all Spout Lore listeners. All Spout Lore listeners. With a special Patreon supporters. Patreon. Discord. Channel. Channel. Yes. We'll have announcements for live streams. You can ask. There'll be a lot of Q&A stuff. Yeah. We'll probably run live streams through the supporters channel. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. And that'll be at the ten dollar level that you get that. And you also get a bunch of. Video content at the ten dollar level. Mm hmm.

Which is like a Q&A that we did. A video Q&A. Where the video cuts out at the end. Yeah. Right in my cool story. We fucked it up. Pretty funny. We're going to put in pictures of all of us as kids where the video cuts out. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. We were all so sweaty and tired at that point too. It was such a hot room. It was that like early September during like the smoky heat wave. Yeah. Rough. Across the street from the jail. Jesus. Yeah. That was a weird day. Yeah. Gotta see this gang.

Also some postcards are available at the ten dollar level too. Like quarterly. Each seasonal. Yeah. Right. It's going to be postcards designed. Each season one of us will design a postcard and send it out to everybody. So you get some good ones and then some by Abdul. Guys, I'm going to try so fucking hard and it's going to be trash. No, people are going to love it. Let's be serious. Your drawings are very sweet and full of heart. Yeah. So that. Pointing a picture of a knobby dick.

Dicked with four balls. Two sets of balls. It kind of looks like an X-Wing or like a goose. Yeah. It's disappointing really. Anyways. So at the $25 level. You get some merch. Yes. You get all the other stuff and some merch. Uh-huh. And then what is the next level Abdul? It's $100. Nice. Some would say shooting a bit too high. We'll wait till our next level. Hey John Sparger. But on the other hand. We have a pretty good chance that you feel like giving us $100 a month.

Although there is somebody out there doing that right now. Thank you so much Claire. And honestly we made this level specifically for Claire. Specifically for you. For you. Yeah. But you will every six months or so get a package that is a care package that is put together by the entire cast. That's like some of our favorite things. It's going to like kind of stuff like books, CDs, Paul's. Mason jars. Put a Mason jars full of a bunch of stupid woods shit in there.

Abdul's going to have a bunch of poop in a box for you. Gross. And he's keto. So it's going to be smelly. Let's talk about the kind of stuff we would actually put in the care package to make it appealing. Okay. I'm actually going to put some wood shit in there just so you know. Yeah. My favorite teas. A candle. I like a lot of self-care stuff. Probably some drawings. A book I like. Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm a fucking nerd. It'll probably be a hard copy of an RPG system that I'm a fan of. From me.

Yeah. I forage a lot of medicinal mushrooms. And I've been making cool different stuff. I made a mushroom protein powder and some lion's mane and turkey tail boosters. So some cool forage medicines and teas also I make. So cool. And I'll send you cash. Who's your favorite now? Cold hard cash. Less than you will have donated at the point that you receive the care package. No more. I insist. $900 per care package. Abdul, buy your love. What kind of stuff would you put in Abdul? I love books. Yeah.

I'll put a book in there. I'll put maybe like, I don't know. Some joke stuff. I'll put some stupid shit in there. I'm fucking idiot. You know what would be fun? A USB stick with songs that you like. Oh, yeah. That's a good idea. I'll put a mix CD in there. Cool. Yeah. You're saying a mixtape. Yeah. I'll make a mixtape. I'll make. I don't know. Maybe I'll put my own. Comedy in there. That's what I was going to say. Mixtape with music and some of your sets on it. That'd be fun. Yeah. Yeah.

So after the $100 level, there is. The God of the Flame level. Yeah. Which is $1,000. It's a thousand. We are going to try and add a thousand dollar level. I don't think. It's such a joke. I don't think Patreon is going to let us do it. Oh, no. They do. Watch this. If you do donate, I will come to your house once a year and suck. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no. We already talked about this. That is not allowed or possible or even moral.

But I think the actual idea that we had is Abdul will write and produce a custom album of Spout Lore music. I will do it. I'll make a custom album for you. There's definitely gonna be a song about him coming to your house and sucking your dick. Probably. But yeah, I'll do that like once a year at the $1,000 level. Because that's crazy. Yeah, an album's a lot. Yeah, getting musicians and audio mastering and stuff like that would be crazy. With the wonderful and talented Aaron Reid. Yes.

Yeah, so we can assume that that's a joke. But we'll see. And I will learn to play guitar. I guess I'll learn to play guitar for this. Sean can already play concertina. Yeah, we're all gonna make an appearance on it. Yeah, that'd be fun. Oh, I could play concertina. Miles could play banjo. We could do some maritime music. Mouth harp, I'm there. Yeah, totally. Okay, man, I'm excited about this now. Somebody please donate $1,000 a month for this. Make a boot song.

So we also have a new merch store. We're starting out small. Just a few things that might be fun or cute. I did my best. They're all very fun. She literally did her best. I did my best. Just like things that I thought would be kind of funny or sweet. Hopefully you like them. You can find the link on our new website, speltlore.com. Or you can search us on Redbubble. Which is where we'll be doing that. Yeah, what kind of stuff is in the merch store? Good question. Some tote bags. My favorite.

I love totes. Yeah, tote bags. Some tees. T-shirts. Okay. Oh, some tees. We've got Tenley. We got Red Rose. We got Green. We got Roybus. All right. Some tote bags. Some t-shirts. Pins. Pins. Stickers. Stickers. Yeah. What else? I'm forgetting everything. Tote bags. T-shirts. T-shirts. Stationery, maybe? I think so. Trolls. We're making little trolls of all our characters with fuzzy hair and jewels in their belly. Wow, I wish. Def not that. Def not that. That's a great idea, though.

I think that's it for the time being, though. There might be more. Just go and check it out. Yeah, there will be more. We're just going to start small. But yeah, you can check it out on the website. The link is there. Yeah, and the designs are fucking sick. Yeah. Jessica did a design that's a hot dog festival t-shirt. Yeah. Bud Lark. Hot dog festival. Uh-huh. You are the wapple of my eye. Yeah. And a little wicker, which I really just wanted to draw him. Yeah. So cute. Her. Yeah. Yeah.

You did it without me having to remind you. It doesn't matter. It's wicker in the golden- In the compass roses. In the compass rose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I hope you like those. Yeah. And if you don't, please don't tell me. It's true. If you do, we're going to be mad at you. No. I'll help you. Just sad. I'll be mad at you. You'll be crazy if you don't like these. Yeah. We've also made a new website. Yes. And if you go to that website, you can access the merch with Jessica's artwork on it. Mm-hmm.

There'll be new things like character bios, a bunch of fan art's going to be there too. And also, there's going to be an entire section that's just fan favorite clips. So if you have a friend that you are like, listen to this podcast, but they're kind of reluctant to, what you can do is you can go to the fan favorites section and you can actually just like copy like the link to one of those and send it to someone.

Just pick your favorite one and it'll make it like super easy for you guys to share the podcast. And if you have a favorite moment that you don't see on the website, let us know and we can go through and see if we get enough requests for it, then we'll put up there. Yeah. So that's kind of what we got coming down the pipe and in preparation slash celebration for these big changes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Spell war. We don't like have ads on it or anything. It's like all through donations. And honestly, the best way you could help is like to help other people find us. So what we're going to do is we're going to do a listener drive where it's like just for the next week, if you could like make it a priority to share the podcast with like people who you think would like it with.

And make like review us rate us five stars or higher they do that right yeah if it is if you just rate us five stars and don't even try to go higher that's on you sean's gonna come a house and okay no yeah so you know we've got some shareable fan favorite clips on the new website and just we ask you to tell your friends and maybe send them a clip uh and tweet about the show using the spout more listeners hashtag hashtag spout more listeners you'd really be doing us a favor we love making the show and we want to make it for you for as long as possible yeah we're really excited about this hopefully you are too and we'll talk to you soon bye bye everybody bye bye bye bye bye thanks guys oh prince too there's I was gonna say prince on the website there's prince there like art prince not like not prince of prince russian or yeah arabian or the artist formerly known as the prince of the world okay that's the last thing okay thanks everybody goodbye bye and to get a little taste to get a little taste of what's coming down of what you might get in the higher patreon levels maybe we'll put a little clip at the end of this it's like I don't know uh from the q a yeah sure or maybe from one of the improvise with me's because there's like a bunch of video improvise with me's that we did over zoom oh my god we're releasing those oh shit you didn't tell us that parts of that's fine I'm fine with it we're really you're fine with that I'm fucking editing them down guys you're gonna edit out my creepy basement no that's the basement is key for one of them paul forgot that we had it oh right and he was on his bike the whole time then I have very interesting conversations with people get wrapped up I'm sorry so that's the kind of shit you can look forward to yeah maybe I'll put a little bit of the bored dog movie at the end of this oh yeah bored dog movie at the end of this the bored dog cinematic franchise all right that's it that's the last thing that's it enjoy bored dog everybody okay bye now bye bye sorry was I cast in the scene I was momentarily distracted uh just because tony hawk and you're a dog that skateboards so well that he's coming for tony hawk's title nice name is bored dog bored dog bored dog bored dog bored dog hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey I don't know about you dog but I'm in a fucking video game minimum one video game that I'm aware of and you think you can fucking beat me just because you got two times more feats than I do and therefore can skate on two times the amount of skateboard I can skate on fuck that bud yeah eat my shit fuck you tony hawk whoa I I'd I'd have two skates I'd have two skates I'd have two skates I'd have two skates I'd have two skates skateboards one is a long board and one is a small board and I run towards the half pipe and I hop on both of them what happens I fall bad I rolled I rolled down the thing and I'm at the bottom pause the announcer oh big tumble spill stop and roll over big boy who's a good boy he's down he's down and not getting a cookie or getting up geez louise and they're coming out his coach coming out of dual to talk him up and get him off the ground uh I run out and I I look at the dog and I give a mouth-to-mouth I blow into its snow and I start giving him cpr oh you're awake yeah I've been awake this whole time that's why I've been looking at you okay well dog here's what I'll tell you is you're a good boy and only good boy can ride two skateboards at one time.

And once you ride these two skateboards at one time, I'll give you two hot dogs. Oh my God. Only there's more than one hot dog. Yeah. Two hot dogs. I always assumed that there was only one in existence at any one time. That's why I only ever got one. Do you get two hot dogs at the same time? If you ride the skateboard really well, cut back to Tony Hawk. Yeah. I'm going to have to see how Tony Hawk does to know who it would I have to beat.

Did I just fucking overhear that this dog's going to get two hot dogs? Why the fuck do I only ever get one hot dog? And Tony Hawk's talking to his coach, Paul. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's craziness. He's just making it up. You know, I mean, he's getting nervous because he knows that, that he's lying and he's been only using one hot dog to dangle in front of his face this whole time. We can't afford to, I'm sorry.

And then the dog, bored dog's coach reaches into his vest underneath, which there are two, like what those like gun holsters. And then he pulls it from the gun holsters. He's been keeping two hot dogs that have toppings on them already. This one is relish. This one is mustard. No ketchup was available at the concession stand. We cut to the concession and there's a 16 year old boy shoveling ketchup into his mouth. Ready to hit the pipe. This is fucking sick.

So I'm going to get those fucking hot dogs. I want to taste what two hot dogs taste like. You can do it. Fucking do it. I can do the best. Thanks coach. Fuck. Can't wait. Jessica's actually drooling. Yeah. No, I did that. No, I did. I did. Okay. And so Tony Hawk gets on. Not one, not two, but three skateboards. One sec. One sec. Whoa. What is this? Okay. Nice. My two legs and three skateboards. I can do this. Yeah. Paul, you're the announcer again. He's stepping one leg off.

Doesn't twirl up in the ground. Back around all ballerina style. And he's down. He started his descent down in the. He still has two hot dogs coming back up. He slips all the way over. Double over. Oh no. Oh no. The ramp has collapsed. The ramp has had him. He is had by the ramp. I'm sure to win now. Says bored dog holding a screwdriver and three loose screws. And two hot dogs. And see. Oh, it seems over. What? No, the ghost of Tony Hawk returns. Oh, yeah.

And I, and he comes to haunt the board dog. But this is, this is the sequel movie. It's a board dog to board game board duck to the ghost of Tony Hawk. Tony Hawk's revenge. And the coach is still holding the two hot dogs. But they're like a shriveled and old now. Cause I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Oh, Oh, Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. When he sucked the soul out of the hot dogs. Oh, God. Hot dog cover. He's got the power of two hot dogs. I have the power of two hot dogs. You know what this means, right? World domination. I'm going to destroy the entire Earth and fill it with the souls of the undead. Ghost Tony Hawk's coach is there. And coach? But you're going to be the fucking first one in my army of the dead. But first, to do that, I gotta kill you. You know what?

I saw this coming when I was withholding the hot dogs. I'm paying the price. As long as you can do it really just… Not my soul! You can take my life, but you can't have my soul! And then Tony Hawk's ghost poops out the coach's soul. Whoa. And now, okay, now we cut forward to the trailer for Bored Dog 3, Son of Bored Dog. Abdullah's son of Bored Dog. Oh, no, I'm still the coach. You're Son of Bored Dog. Okay, Paul's son of Bored Dog. Okay, Paul, you're Son of Bored Dog.

And because of the events of Tony Hawk… Wait, Bored Dog… Tony Hawk's Revenge. Tony Hawk's Revenge. I have a scar. I have a scar vertically on this side and an eye patch over this side. I can't. I'm blind. I can't see anything. I can't see. I'm blind. I come out of a trailer. Exterior shot. Whim-swept wasteland. You can see… It's a desert with snow in the middle of the wilderness. There's one trailer in the middle of it. Just… Rocking back and forth in the wind. Yeah.

Because you can't see anything. Standing in front of the trailer is a bald white man in a dark suit. Are you Tony Hawk's old… Are you Bored Dog's coach? Who's asking? The U.S. Government. The ghost of Tony Hawk has returned. And then I pick up a skateboard and I cock it like a gun. Ooh. Oh, man. Guys, I'm really into the Bored Dog franchise. Bored Dog. The first one's effectively Air Bud. But the original writer quit three quarters of the way through and it had to get finished by a guy…

Maybe five, six. Five, six. And it was finished by a dog.

Oh man. Okay. All right. I guess we're ready for Spout Lore. Yeah. That's spelt. Is everybody feeling good? Feeling good? Yeah. Feeling good. Uh huh. Feeling good. Yep. Oh, I need the, I need to get the theme. I'm going to chug some of this coffee. There's gotta be a better way to do this. We're seven seasons in. Then holding your phone up to it. But don't you edit the song into it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I edit the song into it, but there's gotta be a way to just pipe it into our headphones.

Without queuing it up for the most recent episode of the fucking podcast. And then having to pause before Sean starts talking. Yeah. And often you don't. Yeah. I'll get it this time. I believe you. So gather round friends. And listen close. For the tales about to start. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore. What the hell happened there? It went to like two times, two times speed. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara.

Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdulaziz. Hello. Paul, I can't do it. Playing Ving, the half elf droid, Paul Oppers. Good morning. Playing Fabula, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Good morning. When last we left our heroes, they had infiltrated the infamous and legendary Margani library through a disused entrance connected to a giant puddle of shit. Full of shit. Oh, right. In some places. Shit mine. Shit mine.

In Tuck's diary, this, he just, later on, he's like, he writes, I walked through shit mine today. Even though we discovered that the mine was used to, mine quartz and also a light amplifying stone known as a sunstone. They smashed through the wall of the mine into a, The forehead. Office. Of? A young librarian who was just trying to get her work done for the day.

Ving attempted to use his Ving Chi martial arts to stop the librarian from escaping before having those martial arts turned around back on him by this incredibly powerful librarian, which Billy then whipped a rock at. And knocked unconscious. And then you left this library office into the library proper, finding yourself in a sprawling and enormous complex containing millions of books, likely.

Ving spoke to the spirit of the Margani library, who told you that the books that will possibly help Perel solve the mystery of how he lost his magic are on the third level in thaumaturgical history and philosophy. After some shenanigans, you ended up in a cart. Billy was asleep in some bookshelves. The cart started to leave. Billy woke up, tried to escape, brought a little bookworm with him. And you found the bookworm on Billy's shoulder on the fifth level.

And Billy attempted to interrogate it, forgetting, of course, that he cannot speak to caterpillars. And then Ving actually spoke to the caterpillar, which told you all that it was his duty to tattletale. And it zipped into a little pipe. And then you got to the end of the story. And then you got to the end of the story. And then you got to the end of the story. And then you got to the end of the story. And disappeared.

And that is where we find ourselves now, in a doorway on the fifth level of the Margani Library. A little caterpillar has just disappeared. Smash the wall! Yeah, Tug's like, I'll get him. And he, like, starts digging into the fucking hole with his axe. No, it's load-bearing! That's a load-bearing worm tube. It's a lord-bearing worm tube? Oh, we're just going to jump on people for misspeaking now? Just you. Thank you. Okay, so, yeah, all right.

So you're just going to jump on people for misspeaking now? You're just going to smash through the wall? We're going to try and stop this fucking caterpillar from getting away and telling on us! This little snitchy bitchy. All right, let me… So now hold on a second. Let me just make sure that I've got this right. You don't want this caterpillar to tell people that you're here, giving away your location. Yeah. So you're going to… Yeah.

You're going to fastball swing through the pillar that it's in. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah, motherfucker. Uh-huh. All right. Defy danger strength. Yeah. But, like, no matter what, it's going to be loud. I'll tell you that much. Well, Tuck's going to… Like, he's not going to swing his axe at it. He's just going to take his axe and dig into the hole. We've established that when the axe is used to destroy stone, it's loud. I don't know. All right. No, we've established that.

He puts, like, a bag over it to try and make it a little quieter. We make, like, a bunch of white noise or something? Yeah. Let's go. Okay. Make some… Yeah. Oh. Wait. Wait. What is that? What is this? What is this? Season seven. Abdul wrote the wrong die. Why'd you roll a D10 and a D6? It looked like a D6. Like, you have… You had Herculean Appetites, which allows you to roll a D8 and a D10, and you never used that one. I'm making it up as I go.

You can roll them both again, because that was just a totally weird dice roll. That one's a six. Great. And my power is two. Strength is two. My power is two. Yeah. And I… So, I need… An aid. An aid. Well, we're aiding him. What? Oh, fuck. By going, shh. Uh, yeah. Yeah, to cover up the sounds. Okay. I will say that if one of the two of the spiritually slash magically powerful people can figure out a fun way to aid Tuck… In silency? Successfully… Yes. I will allow this to be quiet. Hmm.

Because this aid… This makes sense. If you're able to find a way to make it quiet, then I'll let it be quiet. I was just gonna say he makes, like, an air bubble. I can manipulate the air around it. Oh. Okay. Yeah, it's just to be like… Like, move the air around you. Yeah. It's like a big quiet fart. That's sick. Ving is so cool in this season. All the stuff he does is fucking cool. I think Tuck's cool, too. Yeah. Everyone's cool. Everyone's cool. Okay. I got eight. Plus Bond. Yeah, eight.

Oh, eight. Great. Yeah. Perfect. Okay. So, yeah. You are able to… You still swing it like a sledgehammer. And for all of you, it still goes boom. Boom. Boom. But because of Ving's bubble of silent air… Yeah. His anti-fart zone. Yeah. Which you've all had a lot of problems with in the last couple months because he keeps using it and you're just like, what? I didn't hear any… Oh. When you don't hear anything. Yeah. Now they're all silent but deadly. Great.

So, you're just digging into the wall to stop the… The worm from going away. Yeah. I mean, you succeeded. So… I dig it out. Yeah. You dig it out and you reveal like the little tube that it went in, the tiny little hole that was basically just the circumference of the worm. Mm-hmm. And then it breaks into a bunch of tiny little tubes. And the worm is there. Yeah. You dig it out and it falls onto the ground. I pick it up. And then I go into the main chamber of the library.

I grab a giant book and I put it inside of it and I tie it closed. And I'm like, who loves books now, bookworm? You might have just killed it. No. No. Bookworms live in books. They're called book… Perel's actually like, what are you doing? What did you do? I trapped it in this book. You crushed it in a book. No, I didn't. I just closed it with the worm inside. And then Tuck throws the book as far away as he can so no one can check. So you just whip it into the library? I just… Yeah.

I throw it as far as I can. So he throws it into the shelves and it hits the ground and goes, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat. Fuck, Tuck. Shh. What do you do? Discern realities? Yeah, we need to discern realities. Yeah, sure. Discern realities is great. Billy, you want to take this one? Sure. Five plus wisdom. Is six. All right. I'll help out. Okay. Yes. Yeah. 2D6 plus bond. How are you helping? Get on my shoulders, Bilbo. These are not… I love that it's always give Billy a better look. Yeah. Wow.

What a day. Fuck. Holy God in heaven. Bing rolled a four. So we both… We both failed. Yeah. We could not discern anything. Failed and failed. Damn it. What's the failure this time? Maybe when Bing picks me up, he picks me up by the collar and I drop out of my coat. And I land also with a boing. Loud? Yeah. Sounds like a basketball in an empty gymnasium. Yeah. I'm just imagining. Yeah. I mean, he makes that sound. Yeah. A bit like clap of his ass cheeks. Yeah. Yeah. Echoing clap. Exactly.

So what you see, Billy's looking through the shelves. Yeah. To where it tucked through the book and tucked through it really far because he's incredibly strong. So it's basically on the other side of the room. But you see a librarian, again, kind of young, but like in the… What do librarians wear? I forgot. Oh, isn't it like an over one shoulder? Yes. Kind of robe thing. It's kind of like what people wear in like pilgrimages to Mecca. Cool.

So yeah, there's a young librarian in the white skirt and wrap. Of the librarians. Who walks into frame basically down the aisle and bends down to pick up the book and just picks it up to look at it. They haven't seen you yet, but they're right there. Yeah. What do you do? Billy slides out of their view behind a shelf. Like SpongeBob SquarePants. Yeah. Yeah. Into a shelf. Yeah. Like Billy had landed on… Like he landed on his butt and then fell to the side.

And he literally just like stayed in that position. Just… Okay. Streaks his buns across the marble floor. Screech. Okay, so defy danger dexterity from Billy. What are Tuck, Ving, and Perel doing? Ving is going to jump up as high as he can in the air and try and get into a cart that's above their head. Okay. One of the shelves right up top. All right. So that'll be a defy danger dexterity as well. Billy first. Oh. Sick. I got… 11. Billy breaks physics as he SpongeBob SquarePants out of frame.

Yeah. Okay, Ving, so that's a defy danger dexterity as well. I use the dexterity of my legs. Ha ha! Great. Okay. Eight. Eight, okay. We're all so relieved when Ving passes the thing right now. I can feel the tension. You've had like unreal bad luck lately. I know. Yeah. I'm going to work it in narratively. I have a good idea. We should burn some rosemary in this room. Just get out the bad luck. Smudge. Oh, I have some right here. That's perfect. It's already on fire. Is that what that smell is?

Is that what that burning sensation is? Yeah. Okay. So I think the seven to nine on that is that there isn't like a conveniently placed cart nearby, but you basically like diagonal jump and you're like kind of spider monkeyed on a bookshelf. Spider monkey. Yeah. So you're not as mobile as you would be if you had a cart, but you're out of sight. Perfect. Tuck. Tuck kind of takes his axe and he puts it in a bookshelf to hide it. And then he takes his glasses out of his bag. Backpack.

And then pretends to be a nerd to defy danger charisma. No. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. So I, my mind is cast back a couple years to season one disguises only work. If it's likely that you would be there in the first place, you can't just put on glasses and be like, Hey, I'm, I've worked with you forever. I'm an enormous person. That's not even wearing the right outfit. Yeah. I'm new and I'm huge. They didn't have a robe big enough. All right. Roll 2d6 plus charisma. Well, look at that.

Hold on. Wait. So five, five, seven. Sick. You just joined the ranks of nerd. So boy, oh boy. So the librarian turns and sees tuck with upside down glasses on. He actually, I mean, he actually has to wear glasses. So I guess it's an, Oh wait, does he accidentally accidentally put them on upside down? No, no, no. They're regular. What do they look like? Are they like the hook kind? Are they, are they like Paul's glasses? Like super nerdy? Uh, yeah.

Basically like Paul's round metal flame flames flames flames on the side. He drew flames on the side to be like, God, this has got to make me look cooler than just fucking glasses. It's such a nerd. Yeah. Flames on them for coolness. And then Bing and I were like, yeah, you look super cool. We both give a thumbs up. And so the librarian starts to walk over to you like, Hey, Hey. And like starts hustling up. I'm like, Hey, what's up? Hey, who are you? Oh man. Who, who are any of us?

You know what I mean? He's just taking books from like here and putting them there and there and putting them in, just shuffling books. Just moving books or making a pile in his own arms. That's one of the greatest questions I've ever heard. Okay. But like, who are you and why are you here? Why are we, why? Who knows why any of us are here? Okay. No, I see. I see. I see. I see what I did there. I see what I did there. And, but I just, I can't help but notice that you're not wearing the robes.

I know I'm new. I'm just too big for the robes that you guys had. So they didn't have anything big enough. Okay. Okay. It's also funny to think that there's not enough. They're just sheets. Yeah. There's lengths of cloth. Yeah. And he looks behind you and he sees the dugout chunk in the bookworm tubes. What happened here? And I look, I'm like, Oh fuck. Someone's going to get it. And he looks sharply at you because like you're yelling and you're swearing. And he's just like, what is happening?

I adjust my glasses to extol to him the fact that I am a nerd too. So keep in mind, you didn't get a full success. He, he's extremely suspicious. Okay. And I'm like, fine. Come here. I'm going to, I'm going to tell you what I'm actually doing here. I'm as close to you as I'd like to be. I come in. I have to whisper. I'm as close. It's a library. Fuck. I'm as close to you. It's a fucking library. I'm going to go get somebody. No, no, no.

And he turns around and he sees Perel standing in his regular clothes. Just looking at a book like, Oh, hello. And he just looked, he's wide eyed, staring at the book, the stairs at the, at the librarian and then stairs at tuck, like panicking. He, he has in the time that I was talking to the librarian fashioned a fake mustache out of his own cube hair. No, he did not. He's rolling it like a cigar. This is gotta work. Licking the edges of it to make it firmer. Putting it on.

No, he just moved one of the, the, the one eyebrow that stayed onto his lip. It's got so much sand in it. And shit. And filthy. You're all fucking filth. You're all filthy. Oh man. Whoops. Yeah. You're all disgusting. I completely forgot about that. Well, so did this kid. What does he do? I wanted to drop from the ceiling and just like try and land on him. Silence. Okay. Yeah. A sleep hole. Just like land in a sleep hole. Okay, cool. What would that, cause this seems like it would be an attack.

I could use my, um, a fight with honor. Cause I want to, you know, take him down quietly and honorably. Yeah. I would like to honorably sneak attack this guy. This poor librarian. He's an internship. He's basically an intern. Okay. Yeah. I guess so. Fight with honor. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So a roll plus constitution. Yes. All right. Nine. All right. So you get two chi, I think. Yeah. Can you remind me what chi is? Is it like a hold? Basically? It's a hold. They're holds.

It's hold that you can spend on, uh, a lot of very fight specific stuff. Okay. So what do you, what do you do? I'm just hanging from the shelf. Uh huh. And I, I fall down on his, on his shoulders first and put my hands over his mouth. And then just go, shh, as I slowly walk down off his shoulders and into a sleeper. Shh. It's okay. It's okay. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. It'll be fine. What animal style is this? Uh, sleepy sloth. I was thinking sloth. I was thinking sloth before too.

Cause he was holding, he was holding onto the shelf with just two fingers. And then he slowly descended. And just like, wrapped himself around. First like leg and toes around his mouth first. And then down on his shoulders. Uh, okay. So that's going to be a chi spent to deal your damage. Yeah. We've crossed the distance between yourself and a foe bypassing all obstacles and deal your damage to a foe within reach. Cool. So I'll, yeah, spend them both to. Cool. Take them down quietly. Okay.

Spend them and roll your damage die. Okay. Four. Four. Four. Plenty. Great. Plenty for this little dweeb. Dweeb sleep, sweet, sweet dweeb dreams, sleep, Prince, Prince dweeb. And as he's falling asleep, tuck leans in and goes, it was all a dream. It was all a dream. Oh, this was a dream. And he, you see his eyes open and consider for a moment, whether or not this was all a dream before he passes out. Vink swaddles him up like a little baby in his own robes. Nice and tight.

So he can't, even if he does wake up, he won't be able to move around. And then, Tuck picks him up and shakes him out of the robes, like emptying a bag and then gives the robes to Perel. Cause he's the worst at sneaking. Yeah. Great idea. And he steeples his hands in front of his face, a disguise. Holy shit. And he strips out of his own clothes, wraps the robes around him. For a second, we all scream. And Perel shoves his clothes in a shelf behind a book. Does he keep the fanny pack?

It's underneath the wrap. The skirt wrap. A little punch. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, now I think, I think we're ready to go. We're ready to forge on. Okay. How, we don't know where to go. Can Billy discern realities from where he was? Yeah, sure. Discern realities is great. Oh, hell yeah. What was that? The shit of those realities. Wisdom? Yeah. Oh, it's 12. Yeah. So three questions from the list. What should I be on the lookout for? Okay.

So, I mean, obviously the thing we're all on the lookout for, is a way up to the next level. You look across and you see like how the exits were oriented on the level below you. You look across and you don't see a door. So you're like, okay, well, it's not that way. So the way up to the level is probably to the right or left. Okay. And you peek ahead and you don't see one to the right. So you're like, okay, we got to go left. I go left. Okay. And then what here is useful or valuable to me?

It seems like the way that the librarians wear their robes is they try not to carry too much stuff, but when they do, they form little like tie pouches. Out of the robe that they're wearing. Cool. So the librarian, after being shaken out of his robes, you see a bunch of like keys on a ring. Oh, clatter out onto the ground. Billy grabs that. Yeah. Nice. And what here is not what it appears to be. Yeah. So you notice a draft from the wall basically behind you. Yeah. Like that. What?

Ooh, what, what draft could this be? So I go looking, sniffing. And you find just the most imperceptible crack on the floor where the wall meets the ground. And you scrub all back over to the bookshelf and you go, oh, please, please, please, please. And you start tugging on books. And then you find a book that is labeled secret passages and how to find them. And you pull on it and you hear a click, click, click, click, click.

And then a section of the wall moves in a little bit and slides to the side. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, this way, this way, this way. Yeah. We run over. Yeah. It's a sick, it's big enough for Billy because he is the size of a football big enough for Perel because he can duck down. Ving is very tall. Ving is like almost seven feet, right? I always forget about that. It's going to be pretty hard for tuck to get in there. But it is a very small little, it looks almost like a service corridor.

It's actually, it's, it's metal rungs set into a shaft. Oh, like a ladder. Yeah. I bet this goes straight all the way up and down. Maybe we can get up to level three street or some of us can. Oh yeah. Maybe we have to leave Perel behind cause he's too weak. Why me? Why me? I can climb a ladder. Are you sure though? It's basically walking. It's the way you climb a ladder. What tuck, tuck might not even fit in here. Look at this. Do I have to roll to see if I fit? Uh, yeah.

Nobody else is going to have to except for tuck. Okay. I'm going to say defy danger strength to like force yourself. Dexterity. Dexterity. Yeah. Dexterity. It makes most sense. All right. Trying to give you a hand there, but dexterity it is. Wait, maybe constant. Oh, dexterity. You're trying to manipulate your body in a way that you can get all your joints where they need to be. Cause like if, if Ving and Billy practice yoga and tuck's like, fuck that shit. Yeah.

We cut back to yesterday morning where Ving is leading Billy through some stretching exercises. Yeah. They're like, Hey tuck, you want to join us? He's like, no, I've never needed to be flexible and I'll never need to be flexible. Yeah. Tuck was just like, why would I want to join you? I'm not a lady on her period. Talk. Yes. Some troubling opinions about certain things. Yeah. So it's dexterity for sure. No, but it's cause he's dumb.

Cause he saw a yoga place that had a quote out front about like a woman's greatest power is her and her moon cycle, which is, he's like, that's awesome. There's a sport that's just for women. He walked by a Lamaze class too. It was like, everybody's like, Oh, yoga. Yeah. Cool. He thinks, Pilates, Lamaze, yoga and spin are all the same sport. They're all the same thing. They're all for women. And it's only for when they're on their period.

And he thinks it's a good thing that there's a safe space to worship the moon. He thinks we're doing something inappropriate and offensive. You guys are appropriating. Yeah. Yeah. Female culture. You guys should stop. And then he scoops his hand into cashes, protein powder. And just puts a handful into making his beard like gray all the way down. So Billy Ving and Perel, no problem. Sized for you. Tuck. You're going to have to do some wiggling. Tuck in. Jeez. Dexterity. Oh, yeah.

Well, that makes sense. All right. Yeah. I guess he's not flexible. And also he is in a book phase, right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, Tuck. Okay. Okay. No. And Perel is in there. Like he's like, he's above all of you. Okay. Hey, Tuck. The, I think that the door to the stairs is on the left over there. Okay. I'll, I'll go up those stairs. I'll meet you guys. Yeah. Up on the third level. Yeah. On the third. On the third. So, so Tuck's going to go by himself.

I mean, I have the disguise and I point at my glasses. I'm sure you, you all understand how bad an idea this is. Yeah. I don't know if that's the best idea. Okay. Fine. I look up at Perel. I'm like, Oh, gross. Why do you keep your underwear on? It's for, for accuracy. No. What if they check my underwear? Yeah, but you kept your fanny pack on. It looks so stupid. It's a hip satchel, but thank you. Whatever. Anyway, uh, Perel, I think you're gonna have to go on your own.

We'll meet you up there, but we're going to go with Tuck. That, I think that makes the most sense. If I'm caught on my own, I think I could talk my way through it. But if Tuck is caught by himself, he'll just smash through the side of the library. And we can't afford that. No. Okay. So I'll see you up at the third level. Okay. If one of us can't fit, none of us can fit. Yeah. We're a team. We all have the limitations of the weakest link. Yeah. And right now, I'm the fattest link.

And I'm the shortest link. And I'm the lankiest link. You don't have to sell me on this anymore. I'm fine with this. You gotta go on your own, man. Okay, bye. Leave us behind. He's climbing. It's okay to leave us behind. He's climbing away. And we're all whispering up the tunnel. Just be brave. Be careful. Don't let them see you. But if they do, just don't embarrass us. Remember, we're with you in spirit. He's not even looking. You don't need that mustache. He's absolutely gone.

You're perfect without your mustache. That fanny pack looks dumb. Close the door. Okay. He whispers down to you. Close that door. Fine. Okay. Closing the door. All right, I guess we gotta get out of here. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Should we all steal a book just to remember this place? Yeah. And go get your axe. Oh, right. Don't forget your axe. Tuck runs back. What section do we think you're in right now? Martial arts section. I'll take a book. So the one underneath was art history and something.

Art theory and history. Maybe baking? I mean, it could be like culinary studies. Nutrition and culinary. Yeah. Yeah. Nutrition and culinary studies. And this whole section is like food-based. So it's like agriculture, like, yeah, farming techniques. Foraging. Food, cuisine from around the world. Like all that kind of foraging. Tinctures, herbalism. Tinctures, herbalism. Nothing overtly magical, but a lot of like health and food related stuff here. I just see a nice red tiny book and I grab that.

Yeah. Snatch, throw it in your bag. Ving, what does it say? It says, the food for creatures who don't need to eat. Oh my God. Oh my God. Put that in my pants pocket. Okay. Ving takes a big leathery bound volume. It's like a field guide. Waterproof. Tuck, what's it say? All right. And Tuck like squints at it. And he's reading, because it's Macaulay. He's reading Macaulay. Yeah. And Ving was poorly translating Macaulay. Okay. Yeah. He looks at it and it says, food for thought. Great. Thanks. Yeah.

Write down these books. You're taking it. You want to keep talking about him. Okay. I assume Tuck's not taking a book. No. Tuck takes a book. Oh, I guess this is a, I mean, he can probably easily read common, but more easily read Macaulay. I was in the principalities for years. I can read. Okay. I'm willing to believe that. He pulls one off and he's like, I'm going to grab this one. And he shows it to Ving. And it's a picture of a mushroom on front. That looks like a dick.

And he's like, it's pretty funny. Hey, that is hilarious. Yeah. And he puts that in his bag. All right. So you guys have a food books. Cool. So, okay. We go up the stairs on the left. Come on. No, it's actually not stairs on the left. It's another room. Okay. You have to go into another chamber. That's just as large and complicated as the one that you're in. Oh, okay. Trap expert. Great. Good idea. Two to six plus dexterity. I think. Right. Yeah. Great job. Holy shit. Yay. 10, 10. Okay, great.

So what you get those three holes, the three holds. So is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? There is a trap broadly. Cause we've just, we've determined that traps are broadly things that are a danger to you. Right. There are a bunch of people in here. Oh shit. There's like a gaggle of librarians. There seems to be some sort of lecture going on. Oh, can we listen in a little bit? Uh, yeah, absolutely. Wonderful. What's this section? Oh, this section is astrology and astronomy.

Cool. Really cool. Ages and their mysteries. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those are like the words written on the different shelves that you're passing, like astrology, and astronomy ages in their mysteries. Yeah. Oh, I mean, this is the kind of section where if there was a lecture going on here, it would probably be about the outer dark. Oh, sick. Okay. Let's listen in. So sick. Yeah. Okay.

So you hear what sounds like the voice of a very elderly woman and she's expounding on, I, it's going to be really hard for me to effectively improv lecture about the, the outer dark. What we could do is you could be the lady and we could be like students asking questions. Yeah. That's a really cool idea. Yeah. Okay.

So, um, you obviously you're coming in in the middle of something like you're not getting the full picture of what she was talking about before, but she is talking about the Druids of the world have discovered that as all nature has a reflection on the material plane, that the, the hearts and minds of humanity and the various races and peoples have reflected on the material plane.

And so the Druids of the world have reflections upon the immaterial, which then reflect again upon the material, the hopes, aspirations, concepts of being and of living. They exist outside of us and outside of ourselves and therefore inform the lives of those that live on this planet.

And this is a study that has been undertaken by many over the millennia, but there are a few experts as this realm, this car, this cognitive plane of existence that some have referred to in the past as the outer dark is almost impossible for humanity to perceive in a way that would allow extensive cataloging categorization. So we can only hypothesize, which we have been doing for centuries and has in many ways been the purpose of this library and the librarians which inhabit it.

So you're the, the, the theory is, this is one of the, one of the people listening. State your name, what's up.

Uh borbo borbon borbo borblo yes he's here he's 50 yeah cool 60 years old intellectual now yeah borbon borbo borbon I'm from no no no no borbo borbon borblo hey what's up borbo borbon borblo um new trainee librarian I'm 60 years old I'm starting again my old career was as a dishwasher uh I ran that out for about 40 years and decided to switch things up still pretty buff though I am familiar with you from our past lectures initiate borbo borblo I'm sorry I'm having trouble keeping your name straight me too borbo borbon borblo yes initiate borblo continue anyone that wants any uh more background on me I have a couple of music bottles that have spout more Mall Brats in them it has some information on who I am what I did before this I can't believe we're actually allowing this to be borblo I could also just no I love oh it's kind of funny totally great yeah yeah uh all right so what you're saying is there's the there's us right yes and we're like in this like where we are now where there's like cakes and stuff right the material plane yes yeah cakes are considered part of the material plane and then there's like uh there's a place where like the the druids go where there's like there's like a place where there's like a place where there's like a place where there's like a place animals and shit no cakes some druids go there it said the druids of the principalities in the great forest have transcended into the spiritual realm for a variety of reasons but the magi of mccall strictly do not why not they consider it uh meddling in forces beyond the ken of humanity they see the spiritual realm as a place upon only which gods can walk all right back to my question about cake yes borblo so cake exists here not in the spiritual world no is there cake in the outer dark I suppose there would there could potentially be an icon representing culinary desires the idea of sharing food of creating food for enjoyment and for connection I would I would be very much interested in seeing a demon of cakes she kind of laughs herself a little bit yes uh hi um my name's clover and oh my god they're all here I was so clovers it would make sense 50 50 like 52 yeah yeah um I've been studying the lunar cycles and the outer dark for a long time now and I'm just working on a little essay and I would love your input about you know whether the beings of the outer dark walk amongst us um that's an interesting theory beings is somewhat of a misnomer when it comes to the outer dark the outer dark is inhabited by what some scholars have referred to as icons iconography symbology that represents concepts of humanity and those icons are not strictly people but sort of a interconnected network of thoughts and histories and those thoughts and histories take on a form of their own and those icons influence the materiality of the human being and they're not just a material plane in an attempt to bolster their own existence is the theory by working through humanity so a fraction of an icon inhabits a material form right and would we be able to like you know babe let me take this for you oh borbo it's not necessary we're married yeah yeah I mean I guess it's only an eight year difference yeah when we're 50 it doesn't matter at all wow and we didn't get married like you know super long yeah um babe don't worry about it um are we able to like distinguish when we see these beings you know can we are there is there anything where we can tell them apart from ourselves no and she it takes on an almost conspiratorial tone what I say these words these thoughts these theories cannot pass through the walls of this library of course the margani library and its librarians have come into unfortunate conflict with the light guard of the church of the flame over the last several decades over these hypotheses but it is thought by some myself included that demons represent a reflection of the outer dark in humanity and that over time creatures such as the afrit those icons overtake their hosts transmuting their forms into those that would better do their work on this plane some remain mostly human mostly in their humanoid forms because the icons which they represent do not seek to corrupt and transmute for their purposes whereas some seek to use those vessels as a tool as a weapon so it is said that demons are representatives of the icons of the outer dark whether or not you can perceive the existence of one of these icons inside a human is difficult some forms are quite easy to spot some are near and perceptible amazing uh hi my name is uh uh fenton beasley man his voice finally broke hello I am dr fenton beasley doctor he looks at borbo a little bit and clover yeah I am doctor yeah he said he really leans into the doctor what else does what other uh accreditation I am a uh I am sir dr fenton beasley clover rolls her eyes of the um of the dr fenton beasley academy of culinary design and uh turtle worship sir dr fenton beasley phd dds he's a dentist now oh my god uh is it true that the can you say that you're a dentist yes yes yes As far as you see fit, and as far as we're allowed to talk about here in these hallowed walls, about the Lightguard using the Outer Dark as a sort of prison, capturing people there and keeping them there, creatures that don't exist there.

Is it possible to exist in the Outer Dark if you are not of the Outer Dark? That is a fascinating question, and one that has been expounded on in the past. It is thought by some that if the icons of the Outer Dark represent a reflection of humanity's interests and desires on this planet, that it could potentially be possible, through means unknown to me, to cast a person's own reflection upon the Outer Dark, thereby binding a portion of their self in the cognitive realm.

Well, I've heard this theory as well, but in the circles that I've heard, effectively, the Lightguard is killing them. It is functionally a death sentence, some would theorize, because without the self, the body is nothing. And without the body, the self is nothing. And I have one more follow-up question. Yes. Dr. Beasley, here. You can call me Dr. Beasley. Everyone here can call me Sir Dr. Beasley. We've all known each other, dude, for like 40 years.

Yeah, I don't know why you have to come to every single lecture I go to. And I thought I knew, everyone for 40 years. Did they recently get divorced? He's so bitter and overcompensating with too many letters after his name. I know we're not supposed to speak this word, or of this, especially in such a heavily populated Lightguard territory as this. But what can you tell me of the Darkguard? She sort of like sighs and almost rolls her eyes a little bit.

This is, we are reaching the outside edge of scholarly expertise. We're bordering on copper book fantasy and fiction. But if I'm remembering correctly, the Darkguard supposedly, allegedly represent almost an antithesis to the place of the Lightguard and society in that they are supposedly an organization, or order of demons that seek to work nefariously upon the material plane. Sounds quite like silly hearsay to me.

Well, like the effects of the outer dark, the reflections that we see here on our earth and our planet. What would be the reflections of us in the outer dark? That is an interesting thought. One I am almost reticent to comment on. All right. If I could pick one. If I could be honest with you. That's fine. The reflections of us upon the outer dark sound to me like nothing more than broken fragments, pieces of glass upon the shore of the sea. I thank you for your time. Thank you.

And I would like to ask my fellow librarians and thanking our comrades from the principalities for joining us for today's lecture. And there's a smattering of like, oh, yes, thank you. Thank you very much. As a bunch of the McCollin librarians, like basically nod and bowed at the three visiting initiates. Borbo gets up and he flexes his biceps, which are still pretty big. And he bows. And he's like, you're welcome, McCall. Fenton toots. And the clutches his cane sword. His cane sword still has.

But he walks with it like it's an actual cane now because he's older. Oh, yeah. He's got a little golden turtle on top. Yeah. Clover walks up to the lecture to have like to continue the conversation. Yeah. It's that thing like at the end of a class. Where everybody breaks off and is having their own conversation. Some people are wandering away. And this older woman is speaking to this even older woman. And the three of you see this breaking up on the far side of this chamber.

But people are kind of wandering in your direction. I have two more questions, too. Oh, my God. That was a trap expert. I know. Cool. Wow. I hope that's okay. It was fun. No, that was great. Okay. So you got two more. Hold on that. Okay. What does the trap do when activated? If somebody sees you in this room full of people, jigs up. Fuck. Okay. What else is hidden here?

Now that the three of you have heard this like fragment of a lecture about like demons and their place in the cosmology of creation. I think Tuck being the one that can most easily read McCollin is like, holy shit. That's so fucking cool. And as you move a little bit further down the shelves in the like ages. And their mysteries. You see a text that is one of several volumes. I'm going to say the one that you grab is like volume three, but it's on demonology. Oh, it's like the study of demons.

Sick. Sick. Yeah. I put back the dick mushroom book in the demonology spot. Yeah. And I take that one. Yeah. So it's basically like an encyclopedia. It's like, I don't know. K to N. All right. So what do you do? Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Oh, you know what? There's a, there's a table to the side with like name tags for like the lecture. So we could be. Yeah.

Not everyone attended lecture who bought tickets. Uh huh. Guys. Guys. I've been grabs. The one that says like doctor, uh, miss, mrs. Mrs. But a bumble, but the, uh, mysterious zoologist. He's shut. Put all of his, uh, his, uh, Marino stuff into as like.

Breasts yeah he puts it in he combs his hair like a little straighter puts his lips tuck take this one I take one it says franklin stein and I put it on oh he's a lecturer now no he's he didn't show up yeah he's one of the attendees he's four floors up dancing through the stacks exactly he got distracted because he's a famous dancer somebody was like franklin yeah they're like some people were like oh I wish we would have seen him okay and what's the one that billy grabs billy just grabs one that says uh uh billy grabs one that he thinks is a name tag but it just says potato salad and it because it was from the craft service table it's the same table and it says please sign in I love that we set up this like insular isolated library and then in literally one sentence you all decided nah people just kind of come and go no you have to buy tickets and then you get on a secret bus that goes everywhere everyone's blindfolded everyone's blindfolded everyone's blindfolded with a canvas bag over there yeah a magical canvas bag that erases your memory of the time you're in the bus yeah and then you are literally brought into it drives into the library I think what it is is that clover fenton franklin and now borblow are all scholars they have over the last 40 years somehow been recruited into the library yeah well if you were all waiting with bated breath to find out what happened to the lives oh yeah they all work at a university and then but it's fun because when you because the new cool treat kids all these hot new young actors are their students and those four show up every once in a while as like teachers and guidance counselors that's kind of fun this is a great spin-off yeah spelt more mall rats the next generation okay uh yeah so you grab a bunch of name tags there are people wandering towards you and your plan is you're going to be a kid uh blend in blend in so you know billy helps himself to a fistful of potato salad and he's like what what an amazing uh knowledgeable filled afternoon full of uh questions and uh conclusions and theoretical enhancements you're and you're all just walking through like saying this to each other trying to cover yeah we're trying to get to the stairwell on the other side of the room okay someone uh someone roll uh to fight it your charisma and billy's leading it yeah billy's leading it so it's billy no don't be five plus uh charisma yeah is seven okay great yeah uh okay so just barely yeah you're getting some weird looks mostly because tuck is huge thing uh is also really tall looks from all the fellas oh yeah and billy is like a tiny little kid that's just saying a bunch of nonsense so you're getting some looks but most people are just kind of they're chattering about the lecture they're like wow that was amazing interesting blah blah blah the outer dark demons blah blah blah and you walk towards um what you're hoping praying is the stairwell and as you are just about at the doorway like an old stooped woman with very dark skin and very long gray hair and a long braid steps in front of you and turns to you with a smile on her face and says did you enjoy the lecture and you can tell from her voice that this is the woman who was giving the lecture that you just overheard very much so kindly allow us to exit the library for a breath of fresh air it was quite uh an enlightening experience I would I would be absolutely pleased if you could what was your what was the part that interested you the most oh the pictures the potato salad the lovely lady with the purple hair oh right I forgot her hair is naturally lavender yeah right yeah um oh I see I see it was quite a quite an interesting topic one I've spent much time investigating if you would please just join me perhaps we could go over a little bit more of the lecture I'd like I'd love some pointers yes sure yes quite a good idea I mean I mean we would love to but I have to use the bathroom would I be able to do that and then meet up with you afterwards I'm afraid not oh please join me and she she puts her hands like she clasps her hands behind her back and starts walking away uh should we go with her well we could take one old bitch right I guess if we really have to but she looks kind of like a grandma well she is asking for it you're saying very quietly to each other not yelling we could beat up one old lady right lady lady right right right and she walks you basically uh so there's like the doorway was in front of you with the stairwell and then along that wall there was like two other exits to this room yeah and she takes you uh left of the stairwell and walks you through another room into a smaller chamber with like desks and a lot of stuff and she walks you through another room and she walks you and walks you through another room into a smaller chamber with like desks and a lot of stuff and she a lamp do you like try and break off at any point or do you just follow her we just follow her why in tuck's head it's like oh the further we get away for this crowd the easier it'll be for us to like break away so it's like he's just down to follow yeah also he's kind of just interested in what's going on she just wants to talk we can fudge our way through that yeah all right so I follow you guys vinga's very cautious yeah and she work she walks you into what's functionally a work chamber like a study room breakout room for after the lectures when people want to go over the stuff.

And she stands by the doorway and gestures that you walk in after you. Okay, yeah. I'll discern realities as I'm walking into the room. Yeah. Because my plan is to, if I get in there and something's fucked up, to turn around and rush out. Yeah, totally. Six. I'll eight. I need eight. Okay. 13. Sick. All right. So yeah, one question. What is about to happen? Basically what's happening is she's walking you into this room because she knows something's up. She wasn't born yesterday.

She knows that you're trying to infiltrate the library. So she's getting you in this room to corner you. Okay. And that is where you find yourselves now. Yeah. With a 70-year-old woman standing in the doorway between you and the rest of the library, reaching herself up to her full height, doing that kind of thing where like an old woman is standing in the doorway and an old person who spends a little too much time hunched over, as you can tell, she's like stretching out her back and shoulders.

And she's got her hands clasped in front of her. And she says, why have you infiltrated this library? It feels surprisingly unthreatening. It feels unyielding, her question, but non-threatening. Why have you infiltrated my library? For the potato salad, I'm going to have to go to the library. Billy's still holding it. Yeah. That he's been eating like an apple. Yeah, it's really good.

I somehow doubt that you have gone through all the trouble of sneaking into a place renowned for its security for the potato salad. Your library? What's your name? I am Farah Margani, master librarian. Whoa. I met someone with the last name Margani five months ago on the other side of the sea. Your graves. I'm a Margani. What do you mean you spoke to Alma Margani? He died over a thousand years ago. He was the vessel for the icon of truth. And he was enslaved by the torch of McCall.

She takes one more step into the room, reaches behind her and closes the door, takes a chair from the desk and puts it just in front of the door, sits down and says, you have 10 minutes. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian Abdul Aziz. So long. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. And playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Bye.

Thank you to Aaron Reed for our incredible intro and outro music. And thank you to our supporters all around the world for supporting us on the internet, wherever that happens, at Spout Lore in most places. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale.

Tale of adventures three Who tried the best they can Though dumb and scared and lost they be For time's abreast in revelry And though our journey may be like a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to hear some more Whilst you commute or do your chores And for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome back to Spoutland!

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara Joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz Hello Playing Ving the Half-Elf Druid, Paul Oppers Hey! And playing Fat Billy the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai Hi!

When last we left our heroes, they had descended deep deep into the ancient sewers beneath the eternal flame of the west, Makal And had just been traipsing through ankle deep shit for most of a day Ving communed with the spiritual personification of the history of Makal's bowel movements A giant sluicy shit A giant sluicy shit, who was helpful in pointing you in the direction of what you were looking for And letting us know that the mine was there too Yeah That's very helpful And also letting you know that there were monsters lurking within his shitty pissy depths The Chules!

Three half-man, half-crawdad lobster-looking motherfuckers Yeah Who you were thankfully able to…

Escape from due to Billy's quick thinking with a convincing illusion Thereby bypassing the second of two combat encounters presented to you Within this adventure The first one being a monster that we never figured out what it was, or what it was called And don't wanna know Don't wanna know, I'm not gonna tell you Yeah And we ended with you finding the disused mine itself Which we determined to be of giant make and model Uh It was a classic giant model mine It was a 1972 Hemi giant mine We get down in the mines and we dig classic cars out of the rocks And traveling across some old but sturdily constructed catwalks Finding on a far away ledge the skeleton of what appeared to be an injured and deceased giant miner Billy using his fairy magic Swapped a shitty piece of baklava With a obsidian tusk An onyx tusk Cause their bones are made out of onyx Cause their bones are made of stone Dark black stone Sorry, onyx is a kind of rock, it's not just a Pokemon, right?

Yes, and it's a stone, yeah Okay Uh, so now, uh, Perel in his hip satchel His stylish, yet contemporary hip satchel Contaz It's leopard print Cool Yeah, but it's supposed to be Look like it's made out of leopard skin Stuff in the city is made out of leopard skin This just isn't Yeah, the, that's actually why we got clocked by the jackal kids Cause they were like, look at this dipshit Stupid fanny pack Uh, so yeah, Perel has a giant tusk, which is pretty cool And as you were reveling in the discovery of an ancient skeleton The catwalk behind you began to collapse Oh yeah And you began to escape And that is where we find our heroes now, running for their lives down a collapsing catwalk What do you do?

Shit, shit, cheetah-chee, cheetah-chee Yeah, I'm holding, I'm holding Perel and Billy and running as fast as I can I'm running on all fours, you know how you do that thing like You're pretending to be a chimpanzee Ah, ah, ah It's slower Sure Definitely slower It's a little slower Uh, okay, so what's everybody doing?

Billy's being carried by Tuck Yeah, I'm just in his fist He's like running and I'm just like Like a handball Yeah Yeah, Billy's in one fist and actually Perel is in the other one I've got him by the crotch No, no, no It was the most convenient way to scoop him up Yeah Yeah Okay, so what are you, what is Ving doing?

Yeah, I'm doing cheetah-chee Alright, uh, 2d6 plus, I guess dexterity Dexterity Yeah Eight Alright Thank goodness And I'm just, yeah, running hard Seven Okay, so two partial successes Which to me says that you're going to get to safety but not where you want to be Well, one thing that is like get to safety but not where we want to be is if it starts collapsing from ahead of us too Both sides And we have to like take a different route Yeah, totally, that works for me Like it's collapsing in the direction that you thought that the vibrate might be There's a hanging pipe going by Yeah, we have to jump to the pipe Oh, fuck No, it's like coming down from a wall from somewhere else and then passes under the catwalk where you are It's like three pipes side by side Oh Does that make sense, Jess?

Yeah No No I'm so bad at infrastructure No, it's It's basically part of machinery further in the mine Oh, so like ancient pipes? Exactly Yeah Oh Running across below like the bridge that's collapsing Yeah And a section of the catwalk still like just hanging off the pipes but no supports underneath And now you're all standing on these three pipes suspended, who knows how high in the air Can we describe how we do the jump?

Yeah, please do Yeah So he uses his legs and he bends them and then he like springs up as hard as he can and then aims for the pipes You're describing a jump I didn't realize that I didn't realize that when you did the description that it was just a jump Just a jump When thinking about where I am and where I would like to be without having to step there I coil and tense my muscles before releasing the kinetic energy that I want to release Before releasing the kinetic energy that I've gathered therein Taking my body from one place to the next Wow Cool You're a scientist I want to hear how Ving jumps now Yeah He just closes his eyes and falls forward Oh Trusts in the pipes below Graceful Yeah Clang, land on the pipes Yeah, stomach winded Yeah, so now you're all hanging on a bunch of pipes Not hanging, standing on a bunch of pipes An untold distance above the pipes An untold distance above a terrible fall The pipes continue into the darkness They're holding you They're like doing that Brrm, brrm, brrm Like as you're walking them it's resonating in the pipes And they're kind of shaking a little bit But it doesn't seem like it's gonna fall Should we discern realities?

Yeah, let's do it So Tuck, yeah, looks around the mine Eleven High plus Reality is discerned Wisdom? Wisdom, twelve Three questions from the discerned realities list Uh, what Is the way To The library? I'll give you that one for free It was the way you were going Nooo Well it seems that I have burned a question, my friend No, no, no, no, no, that's fine Um I just realized why this connects to the library Why?

The library was part of the mine Oh, they moved into the mine Yeah, they moved Cause they moved into an old mine section Yeah Right So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So So okay okay oh I thought you were just like giving us like a vague answer no no I'm saying I'm saying that it was it's going to be where the pipes lead where is that oh okay say that one more time and I'll do it without jessica cutting you off I'm so sorry no no oh no it's the first half of your state oh no jessica and I have been together for 15 years I'm used to that I'm just bragging I do too I love you I'm sorry I thought I thought you were done and I was like hold on I have pulled that a lot in this game yeah I know this is just fun uh okay so yeah it's going to be wherever these pipes like where the pipes converge so where do we think the pipes would converge I'm thinking like maybe a forge or a refinery okay like why would there be pipes I was thinking that the pipes like carried broken up stone and it would end at like those tracks that have the carts on them oh yeah it's like well I mean like yeah because I think what you're saying is that it's like where the stone that they would mine yeah ends up as I said it was a quartz mine right yeah that's what I said oh it's a quartz mine yeah I said it was a quartz mine so this would so you're saying that it might lead to where all the quartz goes to be tracked out of the mine yeah like kind of crumbled up quartz like kind of goes through the pipes yeah and then it just dumps into carts yeah I my idea was what were you guys saying I was just trying to think about it like what were you guys thinking about it like what were you guys thinking about it like of a cool thing that why they would be mining so many quartz I feel like it would have to do with the light because the quartz was used for oh my god yes are there like bioluminescent quartz or like glowing quartz yeah oh maybe the quartz in mccall glows or maybe like some kind yeah deep stuff maybe that's why the lighthouse still works because it's like if you get like really pure I'm gonna say it's called sunstone sunstone oh sick cool if you get really pure sunstone that's like all one phase like is basically like a perfect crystalline structure it has to be the perfect environment it can hold light forever so they use the most perfect piece of sunstone they had ever found pure brilliance and then the way they cut it yeah can keep reflecting it in infinitely yeah and so and then they put that in the lighthouse and that's why the lighthouse still functions yeah I'll bet cool that's really cool so that's what they were mining it was sunstone yeah not well I think I think that it ended up being you know like mining it ended up being a lot of quartz but they would find sunstone yeah fuck yes yeah and then be like add two more years of quartz totally yeah sunstones are based on a real thing what is it it was a type of quartz crystal supposedly called sunstone that the ancient nords used to um navigate so when it was cloudy and they couldn't tell where the sun was they'd hold up the sunstone and when they pointed it at the sun it would brighten up that would make so much sense because mccall would have been on like I mean like they were a coastal town so they could have traded with like sailors yeah you know it's an ancient port city so like tons of other places would come and like they would sell like the little pieces of sunstone which were still super valuable but then they would have these like you know very rare big ones that like you know people used to the back in the day of really rich people what you could have um glasses made of them first because the sandstorms would come up and so you could navigate through sandstorms oh fucking so that's so cool that's really cool yeah that's why the city's called the eternal flame of the west because the sunstone's still going there's so many different sources of light here that we've already discussed that we haven't found yet yeah I really like that yeah and then when the god of the flame moved in he was like no it's called the eternal flame of the west and then he was like no it's called the eternal flame of the west and then he was like no because of me because of my because of my because of my flames revisionist history exactly because of my flames bro and they could have done that because like the morgani library had been burned down so many times that like original scripts may have been lost long ago yeah and to answer a question that I think paul asked earlier I think that they moved the library into this mine purely for like safety's sake where it was like instead of the light because light is bad for books so they were probably like it needs to be dark as hell and also preferably not burned down for the so they were like a stone complex we'll do that and then we'll build it inside the complex old and forgotten mine uh tight so cool sunstone mine love it the pipes go to uh the central like track system so that's question one what's your second question jesus this was all a discern reality fucking shit we got too excited what should I be on the lookout for again well I'm not sure because I mean like the answer is an easier way to get to the library like maybe there's a way that would be like more beneficial or easier for you to travel what if you know the rock wall is kind of thin in some areas so like we could maybe see if there's a way we could cut through oh so we can get in without having to climb back up or something oh I see get like if it is it possible to get in at a lower level yeah interesting instead of going up to where the opening actually is could I just cut through with my ass yeah and then we could edge our way around yeah what if ving talks to the rocker studies the essence of the rock to find out where it's thinner yeah and to find out where there's like a room on the other side yeah so you get down you find your way down the pipes and down the steps to the central track system there are all these gigantic uh metal carts with wheels on tracks that go off in a million different directions levers and pulleys and gears big old barrels they used to drink their grogs out of yeah huge barrels there's a skeleton half in a barrel with its legs sticking out a giant skeleton yeah I do in the cake stand yeah what does perel do he's like wow look at that and he's wearing a tank the giant's wearing a tank top that says spring break zero zero zero one no there's no there's no giant skeleton down there you saw the one that was available um so you're in this central section and you know like the giants are just giant uh and this floor of the mine spreads out um to steps that basically ring this level and it looks like if you were to look at the construction that basically every time they dug a new level down they moved this contraption oh so sick like they just went so the track section would lower with it and then they'd move the tracks around so they can move things to different parts of the track so they can move things to different parts of the parts of the mind so cool and if you go and heft yourselves up like three levels you find a spot where ving you've got your hand on the stone wall and you can feel that it thins in a certain in a certain section about three steps up yeah and the the rocks when they're this deep they they're interested in things and in this part of the in part of the world because of the dwarf people who turn into rocks so they have conversations with the rocks as well so rocks can be lonely so he's talking to the rock and figuring out which part is lonelier meaning it's deeper and further away from people uh-huh there's a lonelier rock yeah exactly the rock is like oh yeah there's a way over this way yeah it's like grumblier in his throat too he hasn't talked to anybody for a long time oh hey it's it seems like you haven't been chatted at for a while oh oh!

Not for a long time well do you mind if we just poke a little hole through your your sweet little face I would welcome it destroy me what is happening now we've got a mess of kids there's a spirit like of this mind basically like it is the spirit of this entire place and it's thick as rock usually is but it's not like you know eight meters it's like a meter which is like a meter which is like a meter which is like a meter which is like a meter which is like a meter which is like a meter which is like a match for the power of larry terry and chad cool and you can feel through the vibrations in the stone you can feel an open section about four feet from where you're standing axe marks the spot buddy defy dangerous strength here we go and the 10 plus or seven and nine is going to determine whether or not anybody hears I guess oh yeah I but I do talk to terry larry and chad I'm like hey buddies and I'm whispering at them I'm like can you guys try and be a little bit quieter this time yeah bro shh cool you know what quiet means though right uh yeah man yeah no I I'm aware it's um it's like soft let's yeah like mud like break it softly right break it soft okay bro make it sound like soft swing me make it sound like mud okay swing me bro nine nine I'll aid yeah um how maybe billy just chance How many bond you got?

Just one. So it's six. Okay. I did not sing it quiet enough. Quiet, quiet, quiet. Okay. Market point of experience. Yeah. Maybe it's like you pull the ax back. You swing, smash, you swing, smash, you swing, crash. And there's a librarian who you've never seen before sitting at a desk, like moving, like just writing on a piece of parchment. That's like that scene in Indiana Jones when he's like looks at the stamp and every time they hit the wall, he's stamping. It lines up perfectly. Yeah.

Puts the stamp down. And then just a bunch of stones collapse in on one side of this librarian's office and they turn and look at you wide eye. Hey, we're from civil works. And the librarian gets up and starts to move towards the door. Oh, no, you don't. Dash in and grab. Defy danger dexterity for that one. Oh, God. Fuck. Oh, wow. Six. She starts moving towards the door. Ving dashes forward and grabs like one shoulder of her robe and like her arm.

And you feel those like iron cord muscles underneath her skin. She just does that real Kung Fu like wrist block, like moves your arm. And then she's got you in a hold. A little help, guys. Tuck's like, oh, my God, my cup runneth over today. She's using librarian. She can I do shoot first still? Oh, yeah, totally. That's what I'm saying is now like she's got Ving, but she's distracted by Ving. Yeah, I have a big rock in my hand and I'm like, just no. Twelve. Yeah.

So deal your damage, which is a D8. Six. Six. Pretty high. Four. A fairly low level librarian. Yeah, I think you can. I mean, they're very strong. They're very strong. I don't think you're definitely not going to kill her, but I think you're going to really stun her. Yeah, I think I hit her square in just above the temple where you die, but it still hurts a lot. She's going to have a big like welt and she just is knocked out. Yeah.

So she like she gets hit in the head, slams into the door and just crumples on the ground. But she's like, like the fitful breathing of the unconscious. What do you do? I go and I pick her up and I put her back at her desk like weekend at Bernie style and put her pet in her hand. Yeah. And then I, I, I write in front of her. It was all a dream. Can I roll plus charisma to get her to believe that? Sure. No, absolutely not. She's not stupid. She's concussed now, though.

She's going to believe that she wrote down. It was all a dream. While she was asleep. And that makes her memories false. Yeah. Roll it. Whatever. Defy danger. Charisma. Go ahead. Well, failure. So that's a failure. So mark a point of experience and that's going to come back to bite you in the ass. She's like, I don't write my hours backwards. Oh, God. Tuck's writing is like a little kid's lemonade stand sign. He pulls out a crayon from his belt. She's a librarian.

Like she has a master's degree in literature. She knows how to write. This is not my fucking writing. It's all a dream. And as you're in the office, Perel looks at the gaping hole that you smashed in the wall. Like, what are we going to do about this? Do we just leave it? Why don't we just lock the door? Perel's like, oh, yeah. Sorry. I had magic for so long. That's how I want to solve all my problems. Yeah, we could just lock the door.

Is there anything cool in this room that Perel wants to take a look at? Perel is like vibrating with excitement. Yeah. Okay. Put it away, man. I just, I realized I only brought my hip satchel. I don't have enough. I didn't bring any bags or anything. We warned you. We said where we're going and you're supposed to bring a bag. And I said, I didn't think we were just going to jump down the hole right away. But you were like, be right back.

I'm going to go put on my clothes, which I thought meant big backpack. No, I said, be right back. I'm going to get my disguise, which is any points at the mustache on his face. That's no longer there. Oh, I lost my good mustache. Okay. All right. Fine. It's fine. I'm sure there's a bag somewhere that I can steal. And I'm sure there's another fake mustache lying around somewhere here. There must be. That's what I was thinking.

Do they just have books or do they have collections of everything, including hats? Oh my God. I'm joking. I'm joking. But if I find a book on haberdashery, I'm taking it. All right, let's go. Let's go. So we go outside. So there on either side of you, there are other doors and chambers. You're not sure what level of the library. You're in, but the room you're in is cavernous.

In front of you are rows and rows of enormous shelves that stretch from the ground all the way to like 80 feet in the air to the ceiling in this room. And all of the shelves are very sturdily made. They still have carved designs on them, but they all seem to be made of the same very, very dark brown, rich wood. And they're just packed with books. Absolutely packed with books. And a balcony runs along about 40 feet.

And those balconies connect to the shelves in places by what looks like old repurposed mine tracks. Cool. You're lucky because you don't see any librarians right now. Everything and everything's lit with those magic crystals, non flammable light sources. Sick. If anyone wants to Spout Lore about the wood. Yeah, absolutely. And if I Spout Lore on something from the history, then I get to use my wisdom instead of constitution. Nine. Nine. Okay.

So what you know is that this is a wood from the great forest. It is very rare and it's called ironwood. It's extremely durable and it's non flammable. What? Yeah. Cool. That's so sick. Yeah. So at some point the librarians had some sort of trade agreement with the great forest. The elves. Probably. Yeah. And they had this wood shipped over here and they made shelves out of it. Cool. And that's what all of the shelves in this place are made out of.

So you see this and like, this is worth a fucking mint. This is expensive. That's maybe that's how they save the books during the burning is that there's these like shutters that are also made out of ironwood that you can close and it seals the books off. So smart. Like even if the whole building burns down, there's the books in the shelves will stay safe. Right. So there's like fire doors that separate the different sections. So if a fire somehow broke out in one of the rooms. Yeah.

Slam, slam, slam. Or maybe it's. Hey, would it be? Make more sense spatially if it was like each shelf had like a fire door. Oh, yeah. Slides out and slams down. Yeah. A little hidden thing. Yeah. Fire starts and the library turns into a Batmobile. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's really cool. Clang. Maybe there's like a kind of a mechanism inside that you can trip and all of them close. Yeah. Like the clattering. Yeah. Clatters all the way down. So sick.

But since this library is so old and so packed, there are sections where, you know, there hasn't been a fire here. For a while. So we've just got books stacked over here. We've got books shoved in carved out sections of this pillar. So if there was a fire, they'd probably still lose some stuff. But it seems like maybe they're being cautious, but a touch arrogant. And Perel is like running up to the shelves, running his hands over them, looking at all the books like hands on his face. So excited.

What section are we in? I want you to roll a discern realities and that'll determine. I did the last one. I did the last one. Billy, go up. Billy can't read. I can't read. All right. I'll take this one. 26 plus wisdom. Oh, great. I got six. Oh, sure. I'll help. Thanks. Because you guys have been working on reading together. That's true. Fuck. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.

What we did text just off looking off it into the distance yeah um or he's he took out the moon knife the waning knife and he's got he's focused on the door jam up the lock and he's just jammed it in the stabbing it into the wriggling it around in there yeah that's pretty fuck now I don't think anyone's getting out of there so um maybe he's going down to each door and stabbing the lock just to be sure locking ourselves in also you absolutely have closed off your only exit so you're stabbing locks ving and billy are up at the shelves like no no no tuck you take care of the locks we'll we'll read this and then you're all like ah I see another language huh interesting my kryptonite a language I don't understand although you guys have probably we didn't really talk about why you can understand everybody that speaks in mccall I think they speak a lot of common there yeah it's a modern city it's a very metropolis yeah and then I think you're like hey tuck hey we just realized that we can't really read this what does this say and you look at it and it says art theory and history so one you know you are not in the right section of course you're not in the right section you don't know where the right section is and then what you hear is on the far side of the room you hear a door open and two voices conversing hide hide How?

Where? Behind all these doors that you just destroyed the locks on? Ving's going to squirrel Chi up and get into a cart. Squirrel Chi? Hell yeah. Fucking shit. Oh my god. I just like that you're like, oh man, we're all in danger. And Ving, what do we do? And he's jumped up. Ving, hide! How do I hide? We can all hide together. Yeah, I guess so. I'm just going to need you guys to roll like a basically defy danger… Hide. Hide. Dexterity. Eight. Holy shit. I think that you all see…

You see Ving Mario double jump wall style like bing, bing, bing, bing, bing up into a cart. And Billy's like, oh yeah, great. And you run up, like you climb up the shelves really dexterously. And I squeeze myself in on top of the books. Really pancake myself. Just in a shelf? Yeah. They won't see. Think like a book, Billy. What does Tuck do? Well, I pick up Perel and I just… Throw him up into the cart that… I catch him. As big as… He doesn't make any sound. He really tries not to.

But you can see his face. He's like… It's just everything is open. Even his mouth. But he's not making any sound. He knows how important this is. Exactly. What does Tuck do? I guess he just climbs up the shelf to the cart that… Yeah. Yeah. To the cart that Ving went into. It's a pretty tight squeeze. But you're able to like duck yourselves down. You all are holding your breath. Trying not to make any noise. And you hear the two voices. Get louder. Until they pause right underneath you.

And they're picking books off the shelf. In the art history section. Like, no. I think the… I think the artifact that we've recovered. Is actually of the… The early epoch style. And they're like just bickering about a thing that they have. And they don't seem to be leaving. Can we roll to wait? Quietly? Yeah. I don't think we've ever done that. Yeah. You don't have to roll to wait quietly. But I will say that they're going to be here for a good while. We're going to wait. I'm going to wait.

I'm going to wait. Billy falls asleep. Yeah. Billy is the best sleep Billy's had. Because he's not freezing cold. Yeah. It's so cool down here. Yeah. And like… This page is really soft. If we're going to wait. I'm going to commune with whispers of the library. Sick. Ooh. Fucking red. We will find some shit out where we need to go. And who's going to have it. So read communion of whispers for us please. When you spend time in a place. Making note of its resident spirits.

And calling on the spirits of the land. Roll plus wisdom. You'll be granted a vision of significance to you, your allies, and the spirits around you. Ten plus vision will be clear and helpful. Seven to nine. The vision is unclear. Meaning murky. On a miss. The vision is upsetting, frightening, or traumatizing. GM describes it. Take minus one for it if a miss. Great. Okay. Yeah. Roll to D6 plus wisdom. Jim. Describe how you are communing with the whispers. Of the Margani library.

Being of elfin born blood and mind. Cool. A lot of the skeleton of the library is stone and then also ironwood. So he's communing mostly with the ironwood and resonating with that. Tying it in with the great forest. Yeah. Nine. All right. What does a library sound like? What can I help you with? Hello. Great library. Shh. Please. Please. I'm a library. I'm sorry. What are you looking for? We are looking for a section of your great library where you contain the wealth of knowledge of magic.

Oh, okay. So that would… And it just starts spouting off a bunch of very complicated and confusing like librarian technical language. Okay. And what you have determined by this conversation is the organization of the library. So you're saying that the Margani library is super complex and extremely confusing for everybody except the librarians.

And it's the kind of thing I think like name of the wind where throughout the centuries there have been head librarians, master librarians who have had differing philosophies on how the library should be structured. So it's like stacks on stacks, sedimentary layers of like leftover organization structures in one section of the library. Every once in a while, someone's like, we got to tear the whole thing down.

We got to tear it down, reorganize everything, but they never get done before they die. And then it just changes again. Oh, yeah. So what it does tell you is what you're looking for is probably on the third level. Third level. Yes. And if we want to really find out, we need the knowledge of a librarian themselves. Yes. You would have to speak to preferably one of the head archivists. Okay. Sorry. What level are we on? I know I can't talk to the librarian. I'm just wondering.

What level are we on? What level are we on? You are currently on level six of six. Oh, the very bottom. Is six the most bottom one? Six is the most bottom one. Okay. I'm also not talking to the librarian. He is not speaking to me, but I am providing this information freely as a spirit of knowledge. He could be asking. And you hear it push up its spirit glasses out of sight. Adjusted glasses? Oh, I'm not wearing my glasses.

Oh, you know, I thought I was wearing them and I touched them, but it turns out I don't have a face. Thank you. Great library. Oh, it is ever so my pleasure. Enjoy your time at the Margani library. Wait a second. You're not librarians, are you? Shh. I see what you did there. I won't tell. Just don't fuck around. We never do. Okay. Bye. The pages ruffle as the spirit of the Margani library dissipates through the room. Oh, I like that. Cool.

And actually, when that happens, you go, wait, was it in front of me? And then it's gone. Oh, interesting. I like to think that the spirit of the Margani library would act like a library in itself. So it's actually like a singular presence that flits around the library and goes to like shelf to shelf. Oh, it's through the books. Yeah. Okay. So you know that you're three levels below where you need to be. Yeah, we need to get up halfway there. And these two fucking dunces down below.

Well, I mean, they're extremely smart. They are just bickering between one another about what sounds like the very minute details of an artist's life. Oh, man. You know, it says that that her parents died at 17. No, I believe it was 18. Please. You fool. You absolute fool. You moron. Oh, my God. All we can do to not just tell him to shut up. Yeah. Yeah. So it's that it looks like they're settling in for a good long argument. Billy's asleep just out of his arm of arm's reach on a shelf.

And then all of a sudden, you feel the cart under you go click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, and start to move away. Oh, Billy. Chat. Billy's out. Yeah. Billy. So we're moving away. Yeah. You're moving away from Billy. You're moving deeper into the library. Somebody's calling the cart. They're going to find us. Oh, no. Bill goes to sleep. So what do you do? We're trying to scream, whisper back. Billy. Billy, wake up. Billy. Okay. I take a. Are there any books in the cart?

Actually, Perel. So it's so funny that Billy's just snoozing. Perel is like, and he reaches into his hip satchel and he pulls out a little baklava and he just throws it at Billy and he hits just above Billy's head. So like crumbs sprinkle him a dusting of crumbs. Yeah. Drift down to the floor next to these bickering librarians. But Billy, you're startled awake by the smell of honey and dates. Oh. And. You realize that the cart that your family's in is leaving. Billy.

You see them click, click, click, click, click. And I just like wave by like. Yeah. Vang's just waving. Oh, boy. So we've got two different situations. Billy is stuck in a shelf by himself. People down below might know he's there. Yep. And you are being currently pulled towards somebody that will see you. Now we blind them first. What do you do? Let's stick with Billy. You see the cart disappear. You see the cart disappear. Down deeper into the library. Oh, shit. What do you do? Oh, my God.

This is very risky. I could try a scape route. Oh, yeah. When I'm in too deep and need a way out. Name your scape route and roll plus dexterity. Okay. Name your scape route first. Oh, shit. I think I'm just going to have to like crawly crawl my way out. Yeah. You crawl on the tracks like because we're on a track. Yeah, exactly. Great. That sounds like a perfect move. Yeah. Oh, fucking hell. Nine. Perfect. So what is a seven to nine with the scape route? On a seven to nine, you can stay or go.

But if you go, it costs you leave something behind or take something with you. The GM will decide. What would you take with you? A book. Worm. A bookworm. A bookworm. Ew. But it's a little caterpillar. They're called bookworms. They're called bookworms. But they look like caterpillars. Oh, where is he? He's like on your shoulder. And you just feel it like inchworming along. You don't see it yet. Okay. But the camera sees a little bookworm inching along.

So, yeah, you're scurrying along this track. Yeah. As the cart pulls away. Your cart is pulling away. You thankfully see Billy dive out of the shelf onto the track, grab onto it like a squirrel, right himself and start running towards you. We can just get out of the cart and join him on the track. Yeah, potentially. Billy's a little harder to see than a seven foot tall barbarian and his shape-shifting husband. But sorry, formerly shape-shifting husband. I shape-shift up here, man.

And their, I don't know, brother-in-law from a marriage that has since fallen apart with a sibling you don't talk to anymore. That's the vibe that Perel has for me. Totally. Have we gone around the corner already? No, but you're about to reach. Like an intersection. Like one of those, what are they called? Roundhouses. Yep. Kind of things. Like it's going to hit and then spin and then go in the direction. I think it's a good idea to stay as up as we can. Yeah. Since we didn't go up.

What if we jam the cart? I was thinking that too. Yeah. Yeah. But which caused a lot of people to be like, we should probably go check out that broken cart. Which, I don't know. That could be a distraction. Yeah. Yeah. Like the sound of it screeching to a halt. Yeah. Okay. That's a decent enough plan. Yeah. As good as it's going to get probably. Yeah. Uh, somebody roll something. Yeah. I was going to jam my harpoon in there, but also with all these fails, don't want to lose this harpoon.

Trying to think of something else. What about a big fat book? Yeah. Yeah. Like you just grab one. The biggest book I could find. Flip it open. So it's like a wedge and jam it in the tires. Yeah. That sounds good. Yeah. What? Dexterity for speediness. Eight. Okay. So you grab a huge book that says, uh, animals organized alphabetically and he starts reading. Oh, animals. And you just jam it in the wheels and the card in front of you. Well, yeah. Can I keep that one and go get another book? Yeah.

Oh my gosh. Sorry. I want to learn about more animals. You got to do this fast. Book G sticks it. Wedge cheese sticks it into the thing. Book destruction style. Yeah. Uh, and you know, it hits and it looks like, um, when a stack of papers goes into a photocopier, it's just the pages get pulled.

It's just the pages get pulled underneath one after the other and the wheels start going like as the cart is slowing down and screeching on the tracks and you're pulling up to a balcony now we hop off and you are safe as the cart goes through the wall screeching like a fucking bat out of hell. Um, and maybe it catches the book on fire a little bit. Yeah. There's more destruction. It's just smoking now. Uh, and Billy, you make it along the tracks to your family. Hey guys. Sorry. I fell asleep.

That's okay. Books are boring and Perel speaking quietly cause you're in a library. Oh, sorry. So what do we, what do we know? What do we know? What's the next step? We need to get to level three. That's the magic section. What level are we on now? Six. Ooh boy. Is it up or down? Up. Uh, okay. Let's go. What? Where? To find some stairs or something. Okay. How do we run quietly and without being seen? Uh, moving quietly is called sneaking and it is something Billy is a well-versed in. I believe.

Yes. Is there a move that's like sneaky? Defy danger dexterity. Yeah. Not much. Six. If anyone wants to help. Yeah. I'll aid. Thank you. Talk is going to aid with a sneaking thing. Just lift them off the ground a little bit so his feet don't touch. Yeah. I guess cause I'm the biggest, I would be the most likely to make noise. Yeah. So I'm trying to like match Billy's movements. That's how I'm aiding with the sneaky. Billy's crawling like a actual raccoon. Oh yeah. I guess I'm doing that too.

Okay. Nine. Sweet. Cool. So yeah, that's a seven to nine on the defy danger dexterity. All right. Get low to the ground. Everyone. Oh, I crouched down and oh, I mean maybe since it's a library like, but it's built in an old mine. It's not like it's a streamlined construction. So maybe it's like, okay, we've made it to the fifth floor, but we have to get off on the fifth floor and find another way up. Oh yeah. That'd make sense. If it's not. It's just like a clear cut tower. Yeah.

It's like, yeah, totally. It's a bunch of, it's a bunch of rooms that are just strung together. They would file follow the veins of quartz. Yeah. It's cool. That is cool. So it's like an ant hill almost, you know, it's got like tunnel chamber, tunnel chamber, tunnel chamber. Yeah. Very sick. Yeah. All the big chambers are where they found flares. They're called flares of sunstone. Oh, so cool. Cause then they were like, whoa, we got a little bit of sunstone.

We're going to dig this whole area out. Yeah. Can you hear the tendons in my clenching fists? Audience? That's great. Okay. So yeah, you get to the, you find some stairs and you're like, great stairs. And you go up and you find a door that says five in McCall and Tuck goes, that says five. And there's nothing up for. Is it a hand? Yeah. That says five. It's just five fingers carved into the wall. Yeah. This one says five. And then I go for a high five with, thanks man.

But yeah, there's no stairs that go up another level. So Perel's like, ah, I think we got to find our way through the fifth level now. Well, then we do. We do that. I'm going to do trap expert. Oh, good call. Yeah. Just in case. Closed door. Yeah. 11. 11. Great. So you get three hold from trap expert. Yeah. To spend as you see fit. So first question, is there a trap here? And if so, what activates it? On this door? No, I don't think there's a trap. Sweet. What else is hidden here?

Well, I imagine you like are up against the wall, like sneaking in to peek into the chamber and you see the bookworm. Oh, crawl out on your shoulder and crawl onto the wall and crawl into a circle like a hole cut in the wall that looks like it was carved for for creatures that size. Oh, shit. Did you see the bug? Yeah. What the heck was that? Can you catch it? I can't. I'll go up to he goes up the hole and starts sucking. Hey, buddy. He's not responding to my kid. He must not be from the forest.

Defy danger. Suck. Suck. Constitution. Okay. I'm going to try to not hyperventilate. I'm going to suck this worm off its body. Yeah. What if he's going to tell on us? The dexterity seven constitution. Oh, okay. Seven. Okay. Thank God. So you you suck. You suck this worm. Yeah. And no, you go. It's like stuck in your throat. I'm trying to say sorry to it. Can Billy reach in Ving's mouth? Get it. Get it. Get it. Defy danger. Dexterity. Dexterous hands. Holy. 14. That's what we got. Box cars on.

Billy is a throat surgeon. Wow. This is what I wasted my role. So funny. His hands are small. It's like about as wide as a throat. So it's like pulling out a piece of spaghetti. Yeah. Sorry. And you're like, and it's this tiny little worm. That's like a caterpillar. It does the inchworm thing. Its head. It's like front section is red. And then the rest of its body is green. What? What do you want? What are you following us for? Oh, man. Billy's just interrogating a worm. Who do you work for?

Yeah. Why did you follow us? Are you evil? Billy can't talk to worms. So that's a really good place to start. Can I talk to this worm? I mean, McCall's not really a foresty place. So I guess you would have similar creatures. I was wondering. If somebody would like to Spout Lore, that's a good place to start. I'll Spout Lore about this worm. Yeah. Because you grew up in McCall where you know the bugs. I got some stuff. Here we go. Holy fuck. Billy's going crazy. Please. Six plus intelligence.

Six. So I need an eight. I will. I will. There we go. Vink seems like somebody that would be able to. There was a worm just like this. I knew from back in the day. They're thought to be extinct, though. So it's weird that we would see it making it a historical thing so I can use my wisdom instead of my intelligence. Oh, sick. Smart. Sean's mad. Paul. Paul. Paul. Oh, five. That's a fail. Oh, man. I wanted to tell you guys about this worm. Can I aid? No, unfortunately not.

Please, I've already asked him. Well, actually, as is the way with narratively based games. Yeah. It doesn't mean that you don't know anything. Oh. It doesn't mean that you don't get what you want. It just means that something else also happens. Okay. So Perel kind of like pushes forward and he looks at the worm that Billy's holding in his hand. He goes, oh, I've heard of these things. Where are they? It's kind of a straight. It's kind of a funny name.

I guess it's a little on the nose, but they're called bookworms. If I'm not mistaken, I think they're kind of magically resonant in some way. What? I have no way of knowing anymore, but I assume that this worm is magically resonant. And what they do is they is they crawl around the library and they let the librarians know when books are out of order. Oh, cool. Somebody comes down and they rearrange the books. That's how they work. Oh, they're like a living Dewey decibels. They're smart.

They transmit information. They bring messages between the different sections of the library. Wait, does that mean that the worm knows that we're here? Hey, worm. Can I try talking to it? You can try, but it's not a fairy. It's a little worm. Dang it. Oh, yeah. I guess Ving can talk to similar creatures. What do you want to say, Billy? I just want to know, will it tell on us? Are you going to talk to people? Do you do? Was you telling us? It is my. Beauty.

And a little piece of silk shoots out of the worm into the hole and it fishing lines itself out of Billy's hand into the hole and disappears from sight. I was going to squish it. And that's where we're going to end it for this week. You little book rat. You're about to get tattled on by a caterpillar. Fuck. I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Thanks for joining us for Spout Lore. With me as always playing Tacoma Dome, the barbarian, Abdul Aziz. So long.

Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Take care. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Aw. Thanks to Aaron Reed for our intro and outro music, which thrills me every time. And thank you to all of our supporters around the world, which thrill me every time. You can find us on the internet at speltloremostplaces. We'll catch you next time. And so ends the tale of adventures three, who tried the best they can.

Though dumb and scared and lost they be, for time's abreast in revelry. And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you, I'd gladly Spout Lore. See you then. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Now the round friends let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the large's heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore!

I'm your game master Sean O'Hara, and joining me as always playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdulaziz Hey, what's up? Playing Ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers Excuse him Playing Fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica Tai Hello When last we left our heroes Where was the start and end point there? We had that Avatar ending where Ving… I fell through the… Oh, did some waterbending? Yeah And then fell through a well Ving did waterbending That's pretty sick Sorry M.

Night Shyamalan We're fucking stealing your IP You bitch Does not belong to M. Night Shyamalan The greatest movie of all time Avatar the Airbender by M. Night Shyamalan Avatar the Airbender Is that what it's called? Yeah Avatar the last of the airbenders Colon, Croaching Tiger, Hidden Dragon Colon, I Know What You Did Last Summer Semi-colon, James Cameron's best movie yet By M. Night Shyamalan His name is in the title twice An M. Night Shyamalan joint But where was the starting point?

Breakfast Oh, you escaped from the light guard After breaking into the council hall In the Deep Ward Talked to the codex Then escaped Then went to your apartment Yes Gave Ving a flea bath Yes Mite bath And gave Kaj an aneurysm Yeah And then yeah, you had breakfast And went and hung out with Perel at a cafe Gave him the bad news That the entrance to the well Is in the heart of the Tepel Tower Is in the heart of the territory Of a gang called the Jackals Turned out to not be the heart Turned out to be one of the far ends But still inside You found a street barricaded by three Kids, small children Teenagers Over 18 but still children Over 18?

So 19 Okay Sorry, 18 plus Okay But still too young to be doing this shit And you mopped the floor with them And did a real classic Shoot me in the leg so they don't know that I'm a I'm a leg so they don't know that I let you pass Kind of thing Right Broke in And Ving did some waterbending Pulling water up from the disused well Carving a circle out of the stone above it And triumphantly falling down a well One of my best falling down a well yet Yeah So far Thus far So that is where we find ourselves now Ving, you're plummeting down a well On a perfect circle of stone What do you do?

I'm just gonna punch out the side And force my I'm gonna use my strength Oh, you're gonna stop yourself from falling Yeah Oh, okay, cool, cool, cool, yeah Okay Great Defy danger Strength Strength, yeah Great 2d6 plus strength Uh oh Seven Great So you just throw your hands out to either side And catch yourself on the walls of the well? Yeah Dig my fingers in Dig my toes in What What style are you using?

I'm using starfish style Learned at the sea of graves From the great Pilar I love it Ving Cheese calls the pods starfish style Seeds, hats, arms, legs out, very pointy And then he goes Are you horizontal there?

No, I start vertical and then I go horizontal But it's nice because we can get a measurement of the well It's as wide as Ving is when he does this It's a pretty wide well Yeah, that's thick It's a super wide well Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero Zero down with the axe yeah like smash it into the wall grab a handhold smash it into the wall again totally do ice climbing but while destroying uh municipal works yeah an artifact yeah I can just climb down because it's like like nice rockiness and also I'm making a ton of handholds that's true totally uh just every time he's in just like heads up down there heads up down right rock rock ving's just getting nailed by rock yeah uh perel standing at the edge of the well he's looking down like wringing his hands get on my back should what should I be going should we are we prepared for this okay here you could either stay here in jackal territory and deal with that or you could come with me and get on my back I guess I didn't think we'd be all right we're leaving I guess I didn't think that we'd be going into the well so fast we always go in the well so fast I don't have I didn't bring anything with me why you didn't bring your well hat I feel like we're just rushing into this all right I'm like hey I'm still like just only like three steps down the well what do you want to talk about perel why are you so scared well I mean we're going into a disused well that's been closed for at least 100 years maybe two some of us are already in the well can we speed this up okay all right okay fine okay fine takoma grab me okay I take him and I put him on my back he wraps his arms around your neck wrap your legs around my torso okay he does that your torso is very wide I know I'm in a bulk phase again all right so ving is I guess using strength yep to continue tuck also probably using strength yes billy more dexterous yeah tuck 13 yep um 12 oh shit yes that's six oh no is there any way we can aid you oh yeah yeah yeah okay aid I throw my harpoon up here I'm slipping I'm gonna throw my harpoon up here I'm slipping I'm slipping I'm slipping I'm slipping I'm slipping I'll catch it okay so billy roll 2d6 plus bond set my rope please eight okay great so ving throws his harpoon as he starts to fall yeah I'm slipping I'm slipping I'm slipping and uh it goes up and billy snatches it as it flies in front of him and ving starts falling again the rope snaps hot billy also falls off the wall because he weighs five pounds and then billy gets stuck in the crook of like a rope and he's like oh my god I'm slipping I'm slipping I'm slipping I'm slipping I'm slipping like tuck's body yeah oh hi hey tuck's got so many people out of he's like andre the giant and the princess bride this always happens it always happens it's always with perel you're doing a great job he's like patting your chest thank you so it uh you you descend this uh the tube of this well for a good long amount of time uh descending at least 100 feet tuck takes a deep breath he's like brings back memories I think tuck used to spend time in a lot of sewers but not ones this deep yeah I think he went through a real sewer phase like what would he do in the sewers I don't know it was a lot of make-believe play I'm a rat I'm a rat I it would it started as necessity where he was like he would use it to sort of escape from fathom he would mostly use it to escape from fathom because fathom would always corner him because tuck wasn't fast fathom was fucking really fast for how fat he was and tuck was not fast so he would get cornered down like dead end alleyways and stuff but he did there are greats all over the place fathom was always way bigger yeah too fat yeah so fathom's fat was like really strong fat so it was hard for him to like squish into greats but tuck could squish into greats like nobody's business so it's tuck more flabby yeah nice when he ran there were so many centers of gravity moving all over the place his like just so many rolls slapping yeah I don't know and you come to the base of the well and it opens up on either side into what looks like an ancient sewer pipe that's like eight feet tall with a little trickle of water that's sitting in the base it looks like when ving called to the water in the well he was pulling up water from a few different directions oh cool and at the bottom there's a huge plug of stone that's cracked in several places and it's at this point you all come to the realization the only source of light is about a hundred feet above you what about the axe pitch black except for the axe that magically lights all that it sees and the knife and the knife but tech just wants to leave that it's back okay he's scared of losing it yeah but I will say in the months that you've owned the waning knife that you've at least had possession of the waning knife you've realized that though it looks like it's reflecting the light of the moon it's not a light source okay so we can't use it to light our way no good I mean like but you can look at it in the dark and be like wow you could probably read porn really close up yeah or anything billy yeah anything I just like just based on what I see in your pile I don't have that much that much just looking at the same few porns over and over again I was just looking for my truck book and found your fuck book yeah billy I have the one copy of love and loss that we stole from aquaria and a mud affairs that we stole from the mayor's house well and whose dirty books are those well guys let's get down this filthy sewer moving forward big was gonna fucking throw me under the bus for owning porn it's not porn what is it it's animal mating rituals billy calls it porn yeah I like the fact that billy calls most books porn because he thinks that they're all porn based on the books that he's seen yeah so how are we going to do this oh yeah I guess fucking didoy perilous journey uh so we are going to use the moves from perilous wilds that we've been using so scout ahead and navigate so one per who gonna scout ahead who gonna navigate should I scout ahead with the light yeah and your trap expertness oh yes perfect and ving might be good to navigate since he has a connection to all the water the water that's in there that's yeah totally yeah so uh billy roll 2d6 plus wisdom please oh no what was that what was that it was only a five well shit so on a six plus you mark an xp so do that and just to see what exactly what happens ving go ahead and roll navigate and we'll see plus wisdom plus intelligence for now oh fuck just go ahead and mark it experience it we're doing really well this is great everybody and perel's like I told you we shouldn't rush in the well this is what happens when you rush what did I say what did I say you know what happens when you rush places perel is you save your friend from a fucking dick monster who took over his body across a sea of graves where are we I don't know which way to go where are you're all just bickering in this ancient sewer and you are just walking around being idiots smashing your way through things yeah I guess we're kind of like meandering oh yeah I I made a little willow the wisp but I'm more like playing with it yeah tex trying to catch it I'm like bouncing around like a little balloon yeah can you toss it to me and I'll see if I can bat it out of the air with the axe okay two d six plus dexterity what no absolutely not I got seven nice so what happens uh you succeed I guess what happened at playing with your kid your kid has a treasured memory oh my god what write that down point of experience absolutely not well you cut it into two now we have two lights I feel like I look away for five seconds to find out a rule and you're all rolling dice and failing and succeeding okay so you're walking down the you're walking down the sewer uh-huh for like a ways and you know uh tunnels pop off on either side like it looks like you connected to this old sewer system it stinks pretty bad maybe some of this is still kind of in use and but just that well specifically wasn't and uh you see that the way ahead gets kind of sludgy thing is and billy are like walking through it like stomping through this sewer and you're like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die sludge and it starts really sucking at your boots oh no and then your feet start stinging and you're trying to pull yourselves out of this sludge and the sludge is like wrapping up around your legs oh no I'm starting to pull you this is a normal shit holy shit what is this you don't know but it's like what looked like a big pile of shit sitting in the middle of the sewer starts to rise up in different spots like weird pseudopods of slime start lifting up and billy and ving are being like grabbed by the sewer and you're like oh my god I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die pile of goo what do you do oh my god uh fuck wait but I'm never caught by surprise oh oh baby yes okay so and made a face see this is this is why I'm glad you remembered this okay so ving is ankle deep in this goo I'm fucked but billy like flips and cartwheels out of this goo once it starts grabbing at him cool moves billy thank you your beer boots do unfortunately stay behind so now you're barefoot in this sewer ving roll a d10 10 oh whoa fuck you take 11 points of damage sure and yeah the pseudopods in this goo are coming up to like lash at you what do you all do oh man those shoes it's so hard to find doll shoes small enough to fit billy okay I'm gonna fight with honor and roll my for my chi holds oh yeah my ving chi holds yeah so 2d6 plus constitution great eight okay so that means that you get two chi all right and one of my cheese I can use to leap over across a physical obstacle or break free from bonds another confinement oh fuck it sick cool wow so what does this look like I uh gather my ving chi what does that look like it's a like a dance have you ever seen the three amigos so he crosses one hand on one shoulder another hand on the other shoulder puts his hands on his hips and then thrusts his crotch forward and goes chi you're describing the first half of the macarena and then the second half is just a humping motion yeah so the end of the macarena it's the beginning of the end of the macarena fuck the middle of the macarena this is ving chi style uh and then he puts his hands up like a monster on one side of his body and then moves them across and then flicks them down and now it's like backstreet boy style in sync backstreet's back all right all right and so how and how do you break free of the grip of this goo he uh hunkers down into it gets down into the floor and then uh launches his self up grasshopper style oh and I have the harpoon so I launch it up into the ceiling oh yeah oh so you're just hanging from the ceiling and I get up into the ceiling and swing down to the side where they can't get me cool and pull like yank on the harpoon so it flies out of the wall right in your hand and you're getting good with that thing thank you and tuck is a little bit turned up a little bit hey it's not that hard tuck respects martial prowess I guess so he's realizing uh yeah so this goo is now reaching up on either side and becoming sort of this tentacly pile of sludge that's moving to either side not really sure what to do yet have I heard of anything like this before you've heard stories but nothing you can specifically remember oh god unless you make a roll 26 plus intelligence uh fine mark a point of experience I wish I could remember things more specifically yeah so you're like wow what the fuck is this thing I don't even know and it snaps out a pseudopod and grabs your axe and starts trying to pull it I pull it away all right and I'm like that's mine uh defy danger strength I guess nine I'm gonna do an aid by looking off a chunk of the floor with my uh spear and throw a big rock at it so you start yanking back on the axe like no this is my axe uh and ving throws a big rock at it we're so good at fighting and it actually it reaches out and grabs the rock what like the pseudopod goes bloop and then like off the axe and snaps out to react and grab the rock that was thrown at it billy oh slingshot oh here we go but you see that you hear like uh like a hit and run sound and then you hear a hit and run sound and then you hear a hit and run sound and a popping and you see the the rock start to dissolve I take my axe and I smash a bunch of shit off the wall to make as many rocks as possible because that distracted it right I mean in terms of that defy danger yes okay it's not like ah that's its weakness rocks well I guess this is what tuck thinks plus strength it's eight nine ten uh so yeah tuck starts smashing apart the side of the tunnel and some rocks fall down and it starts reaching out to the side of the tunnel and it starts reaching out to the side of the tunnel and it starts reaching out to the like make sure the rocks don't crush it but also pulling them into it and it's just dissolving rocks and you see its mass increasing as it absorbs these rocks I want to take all the all the all the all the rocks ving takes all the rocks that's absorbing and elementary mastered and pushes it back okay yeah all right walking it back down the hallway okay 2d6 plus constitution for elemental mastery nine I'll aid throw keep throwing rocks at it yeah here we go wait in it yeah I'm slingshotting yes slingshotting the little rocks this thing hates rocks good plan tuck eight okay nice yeah so you succeeded that makes it a 10 and so you're just pushing the rocks away it's you said it's absorbing the rock so it's full of rock so I'm using that to like move it you're moving this thing down the tunnel with rocks like the the tunnel starts pick like picking up and waving and it's yeah rolling it up rolling thing it's rolling it through the floor it's mixed steam rolling it yeah it's rolling it like play-doh like into this little tube and it's rolling away and it's like a little bit of a mini-money mode that's not the way to go boom yeah and there's a tunnel you find another uh side tunnel as the one that you're in continues forward there's one to your left that continues to the left and what you push it down that way his left side of the tunnel is the one that you're in left or my left the royal left okay we left go right can tuck collapse that tunnel yeah certainly 2d6 plus strike seven okay you collapse the tunnel and tuck is stuck on the other side no no no no I really painted myself in the corner over here so ving does a tai chi push down the tunnel with this goo monster and tuck starts smashing at the top of the tunnel to collapse it slicing through what appears to be some sort of vital water pipe for some sort of system and now ice cold water is pouring into the tunnel oh what do you do I don't know we could just run away yeah okay I'm gonna call this a defy danger wisdom as you start to blindly run through these tunnels to avoid the water that's rising around your ankles can we follow the water who has the most yeah you could follow the water yeah plus one I have plus two yeah oh and I'm the one who knows about water yeah that's an interesting idea yeah follow the water and knows where to go trust in the water water is the way okay wow it's 11 okay holy shit fuck yeah yeah you're just sprinting basically being like I hope this doesn't get really bad and you uh are running blindly for two three minutes and following the trail of water as it moves in greater volume down different pipes and you throw your arms out to either side to stop tuck billy and perel as you come to the edge of this tunnel you're like oh my god I can't believe it's like a huge underground like cistern is this the only way out it appears to be and the volume of water behind you is getting aggressive billy it's like around it's almost to your shoulders basically I'm gonna drown I picked billy up and billy's out of danger yeah I put him on my shoulder oh I got really scared I'm gonna drown oh I'm fine it's ankle deep water yeah for you but billy comes up to your ankle uh yeah so um tuck is basically acting as a break water and it's spreading out on either side oh yeah I should just like wedge myself into the pipe I'm already hunched down a little bit hey you know what this could be a good opportunity for what impervious oh yeah one of tuck's new classes which we do go over in the character creation episode so I can use unbent unbowed unbroken where I just take a hit uh you didn't write down one of those moves dude did you you just wrote down their names huh you just wrote down their names huh you just wrote down the names of the moves I wrote some stuff to remind me of what they do yeah uh-huh can you tell me exactly what that move does to it says unbent unbowed unbroken and then there's a bullet point underneath an empty bullet point does that happen to mean something special to you I think I got distracted while we were writing uh so what unbowed unbent unbroken does when you prepare yourself to endure some hardship without fighting back roll plus constitution oh sick 10 10 on a hit you can either take half damage or you can completely completely ignore one other I'll effect and on a 10 plus you can also defeat expose or frustrate your oppressor with your stubbornness there isn't really an oppressor but basically what that means is the I'll effect is all of you being shoved into this cistern yeah so you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything you can't do anything spot in front of him.

And maybe the frustration to the water is that it's actually creating a nice mist for the people in front of me. Yeah, it's like a cooling mist. Yeah, it's pulling out like toxins out of your skin. You all feel dewy and rejuvenated. It's a nice water. Perel's like rubbing it on his head like, ooh, this is nice. Stop doing that. What? Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that you all live in a condo with a bathroom and a shower. You don't have a bathroom in your studio apartment?

No, I have to go to the cafe downstairs. To what? To shower? Okay, guess what? Haven't been able to shower for a little bit. Oh my God. And guess what? We knew that. You could have just used our bathroom. We all shower there at the same one after the other, not at the same time. Would you all let me use your bathroom? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, that's great then. I'm sorry. I didn't want to intrude. Anyways, where are we?

And so, yeah, you're on the edge of this pipe that empties into some huge underwater cistern. I was thinking of using WorldTalker to talk to the water and communicate with the water and see if this is going into the bottom of the library or if there's a place that the water likes to go out of here and what the system is and just kind of get the goods on the cistern from the water. Yeah, totally. So you just want to talk to the water that's in the cistern, I guess? Yeah. Yeah.

It seems like clean water. Oh, no, it's not. No? Oh, wait. Well, the water from above, the water from that pipe was pretty clean. But the water is sitting in this old cistern. It's like, Hey, what's up, bud? Whoa. How are you doing? Oh, same as I ever was. Just sitting around. How long you been down here? You sound a little stagnant. Been down here for as long as anybody's been down here. I am the result of a thousand baths. I am the child of a thousand flushes. Ew.

As long as water has passed through man, has passed into the earth, I have been here. Ving's like, We don't want to go in this water, guys. Is it the only way, though? Where do you flush to? Everyone flushes to you, oh great water. It all flushes to me. And where do you flush to? Hey, you guys tell me. Where does this go? Because I don't know.

I feel like, because the thing that we do know about this weird entrance is that it's part of an old mine that like this sewer probably adjoins to somehow. So what do we think that is? Should we discern the realities of this cistern? Yeah, you can discern realities. Great. Holy shit. 14. Nice. I guess what should we be on the lookout for? What here is not what it appears to be. And what is about to happen?

So what I'll say is that what here is not what it appears to be makes more sense for where you want to go. Okay. Because the water explains that this is the end point for most of the sewer tunnels in McCall over the last like thousand years. This is a settling pool. Yeah, exactly. And it is very aware of where all the pipes go. And there is a pipe that it describes on the far side of this cistern that burrows deeper into the rock.

But at some point within the last couple centuries, part of that pipe was broken. Broken through smashed out eroded and that empties into a huge space that you can only assume is like this old mine is the library in the mine. No. Well, like basically what you're looking for isn't an actual like door. It's an entrance that the library might not even be aware of or they're like there's no fucking way. Anybody is going to get through that mine because it's such a pain in the ass.

So we're not even going to bother boarding up this old hole. There's a bunch of like librarians like they're like, there's too much shit and piss down there. No one's going to be gross enough to come through. Not unless they're a complete idiot. Some architect comes out and he's like, oh my God, fuck. It's just shit and piss down there. Forget it. Not worth it. It's no one's coming through that. Holy fuck.

And what the water tells you you should be on the lookout for is there is a creature living in this cistern. No. And what is what is about to happen is if you touch that water, it's immediately going to come for you. Okay, we need to get across to that one right there across the cistern. Yeah. So it tells us which one of the openings it is. Yeah, basically being you can see it in your mind's eye. Thank you.

You separate says tool of beautiful wonder and amalgamated beauty from centuries of waste. Thank you so much. I am the history of the city contained within the birth of millions. Now you can continue. You can get across however you want, but there's something under the surface. A compost monster. Can I just just so I understand? Yeah, we went down the the disused like wells pipe like yeah, it's feeding pipe and then that ends at the cistern.

Yeah, which is where all the waste of the city goes and then on the other side of this, there's a tunnel that goes to a shitty pissy mine that on the other side of which is the library. Yeah. Okay, this is a secret entrance to a. Very secure place. It's like so really out of the way where they're not just going to be able to put like police caution tape across the door. That's like don't enter our ancient library, please.

Yeah, so that's the situation and there's something living under the surface of this disgusting shitty piss water came when you get across the cistern without touching the water. The water is a lava. Do you want to use your harpoon? Oh, yeah, always. Yeah. So what's the what's the plan here? Gonna throw the harpoon across and use the rope to shimmy across the gross water.

Yeah, if you tie the rope to my waist, you guys can shimmy across while I hold the water back and then we'll just swing you across. Yeah, it's done. How long is the rope on your harpoon miles? Okay, I yeah, because this is the kind of thing where it's like, well, you could try and find another you could ship try and shimmy across. Oh like edges around climb around could element try and like freeze the water.

You could try and just swim across and book it like or we could can I try can I just climb like that? Yeah, Billy probably could shimmy across. Yeah. Yeah. I'm already doing it. Okay, Billy what? I just that's how I would react to you like just dipping around the corner. Yeah, what I'm already doing it. Tuesday six plus dexterity because it's like a pretty narrow. Yeah, but floor is lava. I'm good at this. Oh fuck. Well, I guess someone's falling in the shitty piss water.

I got five and I fall in immediately tuck goes Billy and I'm like, what and then his just his center of gravity like he loses balance. Yeah, and my shoes. Oh, yeah, Billy's barefoot to not that it matters because he's completely submerged in shitty piss water and this is like as being is like uncoiling his rope and getting ready for throw Alex about 20 feet should be no Billy splash. I'm sorry. Yeah, and Billy like dips under the surface. Oh no. Yeah, I've been okay as he's diving.

He launches the spear in the side of the in the side of the wall and go dives in ties around his waist and I'll take it water. Yeah, defy danger dexterity for that because that's a cool move seven. Okay, so you do that you slam the harpoon into the stone underneath the pipe. You have the rope tied around your waist. You do this all in the air talk. You see this I'm so impressed with things physical. He's like hot.

Yeah, I mean it's like it's a platonic sexual attraction that where you're just like, you know, when you're like you just see like a ripped dude and you're like, wow, what a masterpiece of a human form that is this is so fluid. What is Perel do when he notices Tux boner? It's I don't have a half chub whatever tonic thankfully, it's a little too dark in here the platonic boner.

It's on a calf chub, but yeah, you sploosh right under the surface of the water grab hands grab hands and the seven to nine is what you feel in the vibrations of the water as you touch the surface is you feel something swimming very quickly towards you and you see it through the murk shit in the piss. What is it? You tell me I want to know what you guys think it is. What is it? Oh my God. I was thinking is it's a terrifying gigantic stone crab. It's a stone crab.

Another stone crab starts licking his fingers. Do we want to do stone crab again? No, it would be kind of fucking hilarious stone lobster. It's got the flappy tail to rock lobster rock lobster boy. All right. Yes, it's a rock lobster actually. Let me let me find a creature.

Okay, so you see this thing swimming through the water towards you mostly you see it in your like half kind of spirity sense, but you see two pairs of razor sharp claws and like a head that's chitinous like a shellfish, but with some strangely and unsettlingly human features and then the mouth full of like mandible parts. What the fuck is that called? And it's just booking through the water towards you get the action.

You actually feel vibrations through the water in a couple parts of the system. No tuck. I pull I pull him up because the harpoon is in reach. I reach down and I just yank them both wind it up. Yeah. Yeah. No, I just pull so hard like a beyblade to the plus strength letter rip eight.

Yeah, you pull them out of the water just in time and you see this like spiny chitinous shell like crest the surface of the pool before diving back in and you see you see two other forms press the water and dive back in underneath. Oh gross and things are sick.

There's just that weird like, you know, there's something just under the surface like you can see the water moving as they swim around and they're getting really close to just basically circling in front of this pipe kind of binocular by discerning realities. Yeah, or spelt luring. Yeah, probably Spout Lore makes more sense to get info on this thing. Wait, what is it with intelligence? Six paid and what do you do as the water? What the fuck are those things? Yeah, two to six plus great bond.

Perfect. So seven. So it's interesting but not useful. So what you do know is what they are. They're called chules and they're sort of a half man half shellfish creature. They have really really powerful claws and they're semi intelligent to they have this sort of like like primordial intelligence sense little crabs that got down here and then they ate so much human shit that they got intelligent. Yeah, they're vicious.

I mean, I'm not going to tell you any of their weaknesses, but what you do know is that they're fucking vicious gross. Yeah, what do crabs not like rocks? We'll throw more rocks at them. Can you ingratiate yourself to them? Good try. I was going to say like could I switch objects or you can make an illusion? Oh, yeah, chase. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, work for the light guard. It'll work for the chuds. Yeah. Okay, so for the chuds it actually also might be cool shul. I like chuds.

It's not a chud and yeah, a lot of this like a lot of the specific names and stuff come from Perel being like, oh man, I've heard of these things. Why don't you tell us that? Why do we have to stand here guessing? I don't know. I wanted to see if you would get it. Okay, so I'm going to create a convincing illusion to make it them chase that what's the convincing illusion? Look like it looks like Perel because I'm kind of mad at him for like withholding that info.

Yeah, it's such a dangerous time and I make him look really stupid like he's in his like flippers and like little like bikini thingy and his water wings and he's like Billy didn't why would you bring that up again? I didn't know that we weren't supposed to dress like that at the beach and he just like like goofy in one of those old cartoons about going to the pool. He's like, oh, and he just dives into the water goes up bends and down. Yeah, but starts the illusion.

I guess it's probably swimming fast enough that they can't catch it. Yeah, and deep enough. Yeah, yeah, going all over the place. All right, guys, we got to get across. I don't know how long I can hold it. We could also just swim across if they're distracted. You could try and super poopy. Well, I mean, we're going to have to go through that shit mine. Anyway, Pearl's like, uh, do we have to? Yes. Yes. Pearl, you want your magic back, right? Yes, I do. We're literally only doing this for you.

Yeah, and also because we're bored with our day job. Okay, and then he does a dive very similar to the dive that the illusion Perel did. Okay, so can I swim for everyone? Like if we get on you like a little boat? Yeah, and I like motor. Yeah, so 2d6 plus strength, I guess to swim as fast as you can hard as you can. Oh, God, Lord of Water, please help me. That one has to be rewrote. I don't know. Nine plus strength. Yeah, 11.

Yeah, and Perel's like, wait, and he's trying to catch up to swim like choking on shit water, but you get to the other side. You find it. You see a pipe tuck reaches up, grabs it, yanks himself up Andre the Giant style with all of you on his back, and you're on the other side. Cool. Thank you. Yeah, no problem. Did you guys get shit on you? Oh, yeah. And then Tuck spits out a little nug of something. Oh, I can't be too. Okay. Good job. Not swallowing that bow. Thanks, man. I swallowed others.

So you find yourself on the other side of the cistern. Ving, you follow the directions that you were given by the history of McCall's bowel movements. That's how he self identifies. Oh, yeah. No, this thing has the deepest respect for the information contained within people's butts and urethras. And you come to this. It feels like this pipe that you're in is like it feels almost more ancient than the other pipes that you've been in. Like this has been here for at least a thousand years.

And you come to a section of it that's been smashed through by time, by people, by the elements who's like corrosion. Yeah, it's just collapsed in and you feel as you're walking towards the section, you feel cold air blowing down the tunnel at you. It feels nice. It doesn't smell like shit. Oh, so you come to this opening and you'd have to like hop on a rock, hop on a rock, shimmy across. But you see an old rickety wooden walkway rising up like out of the dark, like the gloom.

The water is trickling down into the base of this mine, but you hear it pattering quite a ways down. Okay. And there's like what looks like an old miners catwalk system. Oh, yeah. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. So it's it smells cool and damp and there's like a faint whiff of shit, but it's far enough away that you're like, okay, finally some fucking respite from waiting through people's diarrhea. I imagine it's like we open up and it's just so deep. It's like Moria. Yeah. Yeah.

You can hear like the ting ting. Hello. Hello. Hello. That's an echo, Billy. And you hear screeching in the distance, the flapping of dark wings. Oh, my God. I mean, there actually probably are. There probably are monsters in this mine. That in mind. Okay. All right. I won't do that again. Yeah. In the far distance, you hear like why is there a wolf down there? Oh, mine wolf. Yeah. Look out. It's an iron wolf. I eat iron. Iron wolf is the name of a band that came through bar last week.

Actually, they said it said that the lead singer is a lycanthrope. Yeah, man. The billeting system fucking sucks. Yeah. He had to stay with you guys in cash. He was not happy. And yeah, so you have this like rickety walkway to make your way through the mine. I guess this is probably going to be one last scout ahead and navigate to get through this thing. Okay. So who is scouting ahead? Who's navigating? Well, it makes the most sense if you scout. Okay. Okay. I'll do that.

And I'm like the most light. Yeah. Two to six plus wisdom. Please. Whoa. Holy shit. Ten. Yeah. Nice. So on a ten with the perilous wild scout ahead, you get to choose to you get the drop on whatever lies ahead. You discern a benefit beneficial aspect of the train, a shortcut shelter or tactical advantage. You make a discovery. You notice a sign of a nearby danger. I want the tactical the second one and the discovery one. Okay. So you find something cool. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

And we'll do navigate now as well, just so we can kind of build it all. We'll navigate. Yeah. So navigate is plus intelligence fail. Oh, no. Is that three? Yeah, I got three. Yeah. So you mark XP. Yeah, sure do. Okay. So let's talk about the cool thing that you find first. Okay. So you are in an ancient mine. So you are stumbling through walking along these old walkways at times when you're walking, they're like kind of swaying as you're stepping across. I tell them like, don't step on that one.

Step over here. Yeah. Hold onto this rope. Exactly. And I think in terms of history because it's so deep. Maybe it's a giant mine. Oh, that's a cool idea. So the walkways are really wide. Yeah. Though old still sturdily constructed. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe there's like a remnant of a giant thing. I'd be fine. Maybe it's a dead giant. Oh, shit. Like do we see it just or at least like a skeleton of a giant. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. Because this is this is like the or a car or whatever have been gone for a long time. Yeah. One of the ridges on the like along the mining wall. There's like a skull a giant skull. Yeah. Magina fell. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Far, far down like the light from Tux axe lights up this this ridge far down from a catwalk. And there is a it's not just a skull. It's a it's more of a skeleton. Okay. Like there's the head, the neck, the chest, both arms.

And then one of the legs is snapped in a place and that bone has fallen away. But there's just this massive like 30 foot tall skeleton. Whoa. But their bones aren't bone. It's onyx is because we said their skin was like black. And I think they're their bones are black as their bones are black. But it's actual like stone. Whoa. So like would it shine like onyx almost? Yeah. The light from the axe is like reflecting off this skeleton. Wow. This midnight black skeleton. Spooky. Yeah.

There's some tools there too. Like you can see like what looks like a metal helmet of some kind like an enormous pick like huge taller than Tuck easy. And it's got like stuff. It looks like it has some possessions that was left with it, but it's kind of out of reach. You'd have to work to get it. I don't want to risk it. Oh, wait. I could switch to switch. Oh, yeah, I think it's going to be like like a crane game. Okay, like you're just going to be like, okay, you take this.

I don't know meat pie that I've had in my bag. It's like my last baklava. It's filled with shit. I'm like, I guess I don't want it anymore. And then Billy looks at us like right. I don't eat this. He's looking at other people for advice. I don't. And then I tell myself no, Billy, you don't want to eat this. And so like, yeah, I'm going to use my fairy child move to switch to objects within view. So I don't know how I do that.

I just like I I drop the baklava and then I like feel like the air the spirit air. Oh, my fairy air. I don't know. It's like air. You guys can't feel but I feel it. It's like like just blowing up at me and then I snatch my hand and in it is one of the canine teeth. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I give it to Perel. Here you go. Whoa. So it's like it's big huge. Yeah, like almost like a saber tooth. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wait, wait. They're descended from orcs. So they have tusks. Oh, so it's even bigger.

Holy shit. Yeah. So it's one of the bottom tusks on an on an orca. Okay. Yeah. Well, I'll catch it. It's really heavy.

He grabs it and he's just cradling it in his hands like I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I it in half it means he loves it the most the wisdom of king solomon or whatever it was as interpreted through yeah we'll share custody yeah I just want to study it yeah you can hang on to it study the essence of a giant oh but you can't shape shift anymore I can study the essence of whatever I want you can keep studying essences but he can't shape shift into a giant oh that's disappointing god damn I can learn a ving chi yeah you can learn to fight like a giant oh giant style boom boom boom boom you just say boom boom boom boom boom v544 I'm gonna kick your bum uh and yeah prel throws it in his bag and it's just like wow this is this was this is incredible in his fanny pack yeah in his hip satchel you know I gave up my baklava for that so I hope you enjoy it I'll get you another one billy cool and as you can see I'm not going to be able to do that because I'm not going to be able to do it you're walking away and prel's just like wow whistling and you feel a rumbling in the walkway under your feet uh and I think tuck probably notices at first uh-huh you feel a rumbling and you hear like a crashing and you look behind you uh-huh and the walkway has started to collapse behind you oh my shit and collapsing is rushing at you like a wave of falling stone and steel and wood oh my god sprint yeah I start running and I sprint sprint I start like picking people up as I go I'm running and you all are like you're just picking people up under your arms I'm sprinting way ahead thing is running ahead and I think that's where we're gonna end it for this week I wanted to roll the file and I don't care my name is Sean O'Hara I've been your game master joining me as always playing tacoma dome the barbarian abdulaziz goodbye everybody playing ving the half elf druid Paul Oppers oh shit bye and playing fat billy the halfling thief jessica tie oh no thanks to erin reed for our amazing intro and outro music and thanks to our incredible incredible supporters from the world over you can find us on social media at Spout Lore most places we'll see you next time and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like you we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly

It's gonna be really strong. Uh-oh. Jessica, what are you about to drink? Nothing. Is that coffee? Don't drink it if it's- Are you Pirelling right now? No! Jessica, no! I have to stay awake somehow. Your eyes are very open. Gonna have an anxiety attack. Yes! Gather round, friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old. You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring.

So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight. Thing is half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts. So gather round, friends. And listen close, for the tale's about to start. Hello everybody and welcome to Spout Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara, and joining me, as always, playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello. Playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hi! Playing Fat Billy the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes, they'd pulled the heist of the century. No! Breaking into a government office. The stakes have become so low on our bench. I know.

Literally, the finale of season six was halting the release of an ancient moon goddess at the hands of an evil wizard. And now we're like, bureaucratic is being done. And it worked, for the most part. You kind of oceans elevened your way through this government office. We weren't even the only ones oceaning and leavening. Yeah. Yeah. Several other crimes taking place at the same time. Thirteen through twenty still. Yeah. Some wild shit's happening in McCall right now.

In total, in terms of crews, there were around eleven to thirteen people in the building. Some could say eight, depending on sort of when it was happening, but it was between eight to eleven and thirteen. I wonder if they were all trying to get to the codex. Maybe. And he just like saw sequential people. Wait, what the hell is this? I like to think it's a regular thing. People break in to talk to him because they don't want to wait. And he's cool with it just because he likes talking to people.

Yeah. Yeah. If you try to talk to Onyx, he'd be like, get the fuck out of here. Don't make me come over there. It will take eight weeks. Yeah. So you broke in, you talk to Granite, the dwarven codex, who has an encyclopedic memory of the last two hundred years. Finding out that the disused well that you were looking for. Was covered up on the corner of Ibis Street and Tourmaline Crescent, which is a intersection deep in the heart of the territory of a group called the Jackals.

Granite said, you've probably heard of the Jackals since you've been here. They're just like, we thought they were a band. Yeah. I thought they were a bunch of dogs. It's a bunch of dogs that roam the street. Yeah. Yeah. You saw them at night. You're like, oh, there they are. There's the Jackals. Oh, yeah. But you just saw a Jackal. There he is. He's going to get the other one. It was. Get out of here. It was. It was. It was a Chihuahua with the name tag Jackal. Yeah. Jacqueline. Jacqueline.

Oh, my God. There they are. Billy can barely read. It's okay. A little better. I know J's. I've seen a J. That must be them. Ja. Watch out, Kevin. That's a wily boy. That's a girl. Oh, no, Billy. It's a Jack. It's a dog. Kevin. Yeah. So you found out that the intersection that you need to investigate. Is in the heart of the territory of a gang called the Jackals. And you escaped by the skinnier pants. I don't wear pants. So. Also, pants don't have skin. I skinned my butt. Get out of there.

By my chapped ass. We escaped. And that is where we find our heroes now. What do we say? You just make it back to your apartment. Well, I feel like we could just go straight to the flagstone. You're just going to go. You're not going to worry about the fact that you've been up all night. You're just going to go right for it. No, I think we need to go to Octo Perel at least. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And also, I should have a shower. I'm still covered in goat shit.

Yeah. Please. Yes. And thank you. Yeah. Maybe we need to go sleep for a few hours. I think we have to sleep because Billy was woken up at, you know, by Perel earlier that day. Yeah. He was like, oh, here we go. Ving is being driven insane by goat mites. Oh, yeah. Right. You need to shower too. Ving got goat mites. I need a bath. We have to give Ving a vinegar bath. I need a vinegar bath. Yeah. Yeah. Let's stop at a pharmacy and get some goat mite solution. Yeah. Yeah. It's good.

There's a grocery store that's underground in a big pit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Whole Foods. Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck. God damn it. Yeah. Pretty good. Yeah. Pretty good when I do it. Not when Sean does it. There's a deep ward grocery store called Whole Foods. Oh, I hate it. Oh, it's so expensive, but they do have the natural stuff you like. It's true. And it's actually, it's unusual because unlike many places in the deep ward, it is like open air all the way up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's stairs that you can go climb just right to the surface. They call it the Guggenheim of grocery stores. So, yeah, you just hit up Whole Foods, grab some vinegar. Oh, and I see some nice waffles for sale. Really miss getting these for free. Are we not stealing anymore from grocery stores? I mean, I guess you can, but it sounds like you guys are just shopping. I think we're just shopping. Just getting groceries. Are we not stealing anymore from grocery stores?

It's what Tonga's saying while we're standing in line with a camera. Are we not stealing anymore? I guess that's what I ask every time we go to a grocery. Because I'm just confused. We get up to the cashier and you're like, all right, Billy's going to trick this kid. We're going to come up with some lies. Billy just puts three coins on the counter. You're like, what the fuck? Are we not stealing? Why are we not stealing from grocery stores anymore? Well, because we just need to get the stuff.

But it's what we did on the road. Yeah, but it was different. That's road life, man. Yeah, now we have a home. We're McAleese now. Fine. Tuck takes a bunch of chocolate bars out of his backpack and throws them on the belt. The belt? There's a teenage dwarf with a crank. It's an elf. It's not an elf. It's a dwarf. It's actually a dwarf. Like, hey, I'm getting paid. Basically, it's a living. Crank, crank, crank, crank, crank. I don't think McCall has a lot of enchanted places. Oh, yeah.

I don't think there are elves over here. It's more of a principalities thing. Yeah. Maybe Grimsby's here. Or maybe Grimsby's been to McCall. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so you just go grocery shopping, get some fresh juice, then you head home. Yeah. Covered in shit. And actually, when you get up top, it's all nightlife stuff. Because you guys were working the night shift. Billy King found you. Right. It's probably about three in the morning. Yeah. Yeah, so stuff's starting to open up.

The stuff, it opens up really, really early. But for the most part, it's all lit by the neon glow of sandworm lighting. So we're on Cliffside. You're in the Cliffside neighborhood, yeah. Yeah. Right, because you guys live in Stepside. We live on the border of Cliffside and Stepside. It's up for debate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whole Foods is definitely in Stepside. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's a campaign right now to move Stepside down or back. Yeah.

Yeah, people petition, be like, I don't want to live in Cliffside. I live at Stepside. Actually, yeah. So I guess you go from Stepside to Cliffside. So it's like beautiful gas lanterns, torches, bonfires, and you transition into the neon glow of the sandworm lighting. We should probably let the listeners know. I don't know that they know about the sandworm lighting. Right. Yeah. Okay. So something that we kind of established like a year and a half ago. Yeah. During season three. Wow.

Season three. Okay. So a long time ago. So one of the things that we found is that sandworms exist outside McCall as sort of these huge docile desert whales almost. Yeah. In the Alcoholy Desert. Yeah. And one of the byproducts of their existence, because I think they filter sand for food. Mm-hmm. And the thing that they shit out basically is that sand turned into… Mm-hmm.

Into a apparently kinetically activated phosphorescent crystalline substance that is then worked into functionally neon signage. Yeah. And then is also used by poor people as a light source. Yeah. Neon lights are kind of like a low class light source in McCall. Yeah. Some of the rich kids are known to buy them and use them in their bedroom though to seem edgy. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. And the really edgy kids will have like a worked neon sign that says live nudes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nude.

And there's some restaurants like street food places that are open. There are other places that are opening up next to places that have been open all night. Baklava. Mm-hmm. Can I have one? I mean, you would eat your wapple and see how you feel. Yeah. I already did. Where's your… Oh my God. Oh Jesus. He's kidding waffles. Okay. Yeah. We'll get, we'll buy you a baklava. Yes. Yes. Yes. Hi. Hi. It's me again. Hi. Hi. Hi. Just the usual, please.

The teenage McCollin girl, like just it goes and grabs like a box of baklava. No, no, no, no, no. Just one. Just one. Billy. No. It's we're going to bed. It's a bedtime baklava. It's the usual. Yeah. But for the morning. We have plenty of baklava at home. Sorry, kid. I got to listen to your parents. Just one. Here you go. Puts it in a little paper bag. Hands it off. Coin. Takes the coin. Thank you for your business. Keep walking down the street. Fine. Thank you. Thank you.

Jessica has her arms crossed and she's glowering. And I talked to Billy. I'm like, hey, you can't eat this baklava with your arms crossed. Fine. And you can't eat it without saying thank you. I did say thank you. And no one likes baklava when they're frowning. Thank you. Smallest little smile. Yeah. Begrudgingly smiles. I give it to him. Yeah. So you make it back to your apartment. It's all the lights are out, of course. Like this. We turn them all on. Oh, yeah. Cash is sleeping.

What are your lamps like? Oh, yeah. It's neon. Oh, you know what? I bet it is. I bet how you turn them on is you hit it and it like starts to light up. So the light switch is basically like a little lever with a stick on it that goes bong and hits it. And then it like lights up in the room. Oh, yeah. So it's like kinetically activated phosphorescence. And it stays lit for like a good long while. But you have to go and like bong it every once in a while. Yeah. Yeah. Get reactivated.

That's why it's for poor people because you got to keep doing it every like 30 minutes. Sometimes people think that shit's getting really romantic. You know, I just need to go bong the lights. No, no, no. No, no, no. I didn't mean that. No, no, no. I wasn't trying to make a move. I swear. I got to turn my lights back on. So you turn on all the lights and you guys just start doing the thing that shitty roommates do where you are working at full volume. Oh, yeah. The second you come home.

Ving instantly starts doing the dishes. Oh, no. I'm pouring Ving a bath and like loading it with vinegar. Thank you. No problem. And Tuck sits on the couch and relaxes. Covered in shit. Oh, no. So you start coming home. Ving is like moving dishes around. And Cash comes. He's bursting out of his room. Good morning. Look who's up bright and early. What the fuck is going on? It is. I can't even see a clock. It is so early. The sun isn't up. Where were you all?

Hey, we don't have to tell you a thing. You're our roommate, not our mom. He rolls his eyes. Two. Tuck. Yeah. Two. Billy. Ving has. He has fleas. And we're being proactive and like giving him a flea bath so that we don't get all furniture. Yeah. Ving has fleas. Actually, technically, they're mites. Mites. Yeah. What have you touched? And he's like, he comes out. He's in his like boxers, basically. And he's just stumbling around the room. Like, what did you touch? Did you sit on the couch?

He's like moving. Tuck off the couch. Get out of here. Move. Oh, don't touch him. Oh, what the fuck? He's looking at his hands. What the fuck is this? Oh, sorry. I crawled through goat shit to get away from an old bully. And he looks at the couch and he sees all the goat shit on the couch. He's just like, oh, my God. God of the flame. Burn me to ash where I stand. Where'd you get this robe? Ving. I'm going to go to my room. I want to go to my room. You want to wake up?

I don't want to see any of you. And he goes into his room and he slams the door. God. And you hear a crash. Oh, no. Uh-oh. I think we really messed it up. Man, what bit that guy's ass. Yeah. Ving, get in the tub. Even you're grossing me out. He's probably mad that his parents aren't as rich as they tell everyone they are. And I say that loud. Really loud. And there's silence from Cash's room for a moment. And then there's continued silence because he gets into bed.

And then continued silence for the next four to five hours. Yeah. So that's the situation. Okay. Yeah. We scrub Ving down. I also light a huge thing of Desert Sage and start smudging myself. Yeah. You guys just have the most disruptive hour where it's bathing Ving. And then bathing Tuck. Yeah. And then Tuck takes his huge post-work shit that he always takes. But he's got the door open so that he can have a conversation with Ving and Billy while they're in the living room. The living room.

The living room. Yeah. And he's leaning because you can't see totally. Like the toilet is like across from the door. So he's like leaning way over so he could see into the living room. But he can also see into Cash's room. Yeah. When the door's open. Yeah. It's rarely open. I'm using one of the big guest towels to clean up the shit off the couch because I feel really bad. I'm doing my best. You're just cleaning it with a dry towel. Well. It's like you're kind of smearing it in.

I'm also using my saliva. Like I spit on it. Oh, okay. Cool. I don't lick it. Okay. Yeah. I'm not dumb. Yeah. Perfect. I like the idea that. Not gross. Not dumb like Fatim. Yeah. Back to Fatim. And he's just like pushing the goat. What'd you say? What was that? He's fighting the goat on the steps. You fucking look at him. He's got it in a headlock. Of the council building. Yeah. You see? Who said I wasn't as strong as this goat? Who said I wasn't as strong as this goat? As things seem.

Is this happening? Oh, shit. I owe that goat an apology. I forgot about the eyes of the tiger on the goat. So yeah, he's just getting. He's in a headlock. You see massive thighs. I see a noogie happening. Yeah. Oh, wow. What a night. So yeah. Anyway, I'm sitting on the toilet leaning over talking to Billy in the bathroom and being like, hey, do you think we're inappropriately close with one another now? First of all, wipe your ass, buddy. I will. I'm just not done shitting. Okay. So sensitive.

I do the mid shit flush. Oh, nice. You mean just then there's more shit to come? Yeah, it's still going. Wow. I'm making eye contact with you. It's happening right now, isn't it? Yeah, it is. A hundred percent. It's crazy because you don't eat that much. I know, but it's all bergam fruit. Usually when I'm on shift, we get free bergam fruit. Okay. I understand. There's no such thing as free bergam fruit. You always pay for it. Yeah. You know, they say is you don't own bergam fruit.

You just rent it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You only think about this jackal group. No, I thought it was the dog, but apparently not. Can I use legends of guitar heroes? No. Okay. They're not heroes, but I could say that's a good spelt Lord. Okay. Spelt Lord about the jackal. See if I knew everything about them. Wowzers. Five plus intelligence is five. Yeah, baby. All right. Another point of experience over here.

The jackals kind of cropped up after you left. So you just don't know anything. Frick. Yeah. And how bad that failure is. Maybe we'll invest some time. Investigate in a little bit. Let's just go spy a little bit. Let's see what they're doing. What do you think, Bill? Let's go spy? I thought we should talk to Perel first to let him know that we found out some stuff. Right, yeah. We should tell him tomorrow morning. You guys wanna grab some sleepers? Yeah. Yo, let's get some shut-eye first.

Jessica is now in a yawn spiral. Yeah, so what does your guys' room look like? It's a triple bunk. Hammock, hammock, hammock. Yeah, three hammocks. As they go up. What kind of stuff's in your room? All of our adventuring stuff. Right, yeah. But Tuck has just thrown all his shit in a pile. He doesn't present it. So he's got a pile that's his pile and it's gauntlet, the billhook, the crystal billhook. The billhook, yeah. The knife that he has with him all the time. That I have a name for.

I have a name for that knife. What is it? The waning knife. Oh, sick name. Yeah. Because I said that there was moon designs on the sheath and I think it is a waning moon. Oh, sick. Like it looks like a crescent moon unless you know more about the moon and then you're like, the way this is shaded makes it look like it was full. The shadow is on the right. Yeah, the shadow's on the right, not the left. So it's a waning moon. So it's called the waning knife. And we, you don't really know anything.

Oh, actually no, we were going to say that Perel told you this. That the knife isn't made out of a normal metal. Oh, yeah. He would know. Yeah. So I think this is, that is something that came up. In the last four months is he told you the waning knife is made out of a thing called moon steel that they say is a type of ore that fell to the earth after the destruction of the moon that formed the coronet. Oh, wow. Cool. Yeah. It's exceedingly rare and extremely valuable. Chimes, let me keep this.

He said, if you lose it, you're going to regret it. So that's why Tuck always has it in his backpack. Because he's afraid of chimes. Yeah. You should be. Every time he takes it out of his backpack, his balls recede. Into his man. I miss chimes already. Yeah. I was going to say that you should because I remember you remember how he hit that mermaid that jumped out of the water. Yeah, I just punched her in the face. Yeah. You know how he moves and it sounds like a ship.

Yeah, I think when he punches he hits like a cannonball. Oh, sick. Yeah. Fuck. So cool. So cool. I love boats. I love the sea. I can't wait to do some flashbacks to our time with chimes. Yeah. I wonder what you guys got up to. Yeah, because it was a month long journey. Yeah. To get to McCall at least. Yeah. Anyway, Tuck's like shit from his adventures is all in a pile. And I think Billy is the loot in that pile too or is it in your own zone? The loot's in the pile. Some of it.

I put like the big bag of coins in the closet just because not because I thought. Yeah. I was like, I don't care, but I know they care. There's banks in McCall. I should say you could have a bank account. I just scrummage around for a coin. Yeah, there's just a big ball. But like when rents do, I'm like, okay, like they make me go practice my counting. I'm like one two one two two. And I'm like, I have to do this so many times.

And I bet like because I feel like Tuck doesn't bring Larry Terry and Chad to work. I bet they sleep in the hammock meant for Billy. Maybe that's the only thing he's hung up and he hung it in view of a window so that they could, look out. That's really nice. That's really sweet. So that he because he's like, I can't carry this around because the light guard knows this acts. So I'm just going to leave it here. Cool.

So yeah, all your weapons and armor and stuff in here because you don't just walk around strapped all the time. Yeah, cash came in one time and was like, what the fuck? And we're like, yeah, don't touch our stuff. I bet I came in one day while you were all away like he was cleaning. Yeah, he just opened the door and closed it. It right away. It's like raising. It's like Jumanji in a room. It's a bird flaps across the bird did fly. A bird got in the room. I said, good morning. Cracker, bro.

Yeah, man, because cash probably doesn't even have a sword like he's not that kind of guy. He doesn't need one. He's a clerk. He lives in a city. He's lived in a city his whole life. Probably never fought in his entire life. No, absolutely not. Even as a kid. He never got in an army fights. Yeah, and it shows his dad gave him a crossbow for his 12th birthday that he has in the closet just for self-defense. Yeah, purely for some home home protection. Yeah, they're worried about poor people.

There's a stand your ground law in McCall ever since the torture McCall took over. Wow, that sucks thing building like pot the carry shelving unit out of wood that he found around old crates and stuff. So he has all the stuff jars and stuff. Yeah, he has like a weekly group of people. He goes to he goes to an alchemy group because he has all these jars of like mystery liquid. So we're going to like a book club, but I'll give me club. Yeah, so y'all go to sleep.

You wake up with the sun or do you know I wake up when cash comes in to get his lunch. Oh, you're in the fridge, right? Always in the fridge. Billy has a hammock, but he sleeps in the fridge right morning cash and he closes the door. No wait, he closed the door. He's walking away. You're not from the inside. Yeah, you forgot your lunch. And he had cash leaves. He's really pissed at you guys. Dang it. Dang it.

And so yeah, like does everybody sleep less than they usually do or do people oversleep? Well, I think tuck rolls out of bed usually around noon. Okay, things usually up bright and early. Okay, so being when you're up puttering around you see out the front window that faces the street that you guys are on. What's the name of the street that your apartments on? Oh, uh, Abu Dib Abu Dib Road. Yeah. Yeah, cool. It means fat dad. Wow. Wow, that daddy man.

I was like, is that a road that you've like lived on or been to? Nope. No, it just means fat dad. Sick fat dad. Wow. Abudib Road. I thought that Abdul speaking English opened us up to a lot of issues. Abdul speaking a different language opens us up to even more Abu Dib Road was my least favorite Beatles album. The Beatles are a band that only Ving can hear. They're all just little Beatles. Oh my God. Oh my God.

So I think you see out the front window onto Abu Dib Road and you know, it's like there's the walkway that connects all the upper units in this apartment building and you see across the street the cafe that's under the studio apartment that Perel lives in. You see Perel at an outside table like having a late breakfast. What's he eating? Just like, can I suggest? Yeah.

Uh, like in Egypt, I think you can always get basically anywhere and it's so cheap is like for a single Egyptian pound you can get 10, falafel sandwiches or 10 like smashed fava bean sandwiches. 10 sandwiches? Yeah, it's fucking dirt cheap and it's so good. I love it. It will give you diarrhea, but it's great. Why do you eat 10 whole sandwiches? Because sometimes you're sad and you want to walk out to the ocean and eat 10 sandwiches on your own. Okay.

So he's not eating 10 sandwiches because he doesn't eat that much, but he's got like two and like a cup of coffee. What a waste. He bags them up for later. It's basically the same price. He's, yeah, actually he's broke and he lives in the studio apartment. He's probably buying 10 sandwiches and putting them in a bag. Yeah. And eating two and drinking the coffee that he bought. He put some of them in his fanny pack. He's got, it's a satchel. It's a hip satchel. Jesus Christ.

And actually I think, yeah, I think uh, Perel, having never been to McCall before, hadn't had coffee. Oh. And now he's had coffee for the first time. He's like, this shit fucking rules. For an hour or two in the morning. Yeah. He drinks coffee all the time. He shits himself silly because it's the fava bean sandwiches and the coffee. And he's just like, you know what? Worth it. And he, and Ving's like, you're wondering why you're not putting on mass. Shitting out all your protein every day.

Uh, yeah. So you see Perel across the street having breakfast. Good morning. Hey, old neighbor. He signals, he waves at you to come down. Yeah, I do. I do acrobats from like, uh, what's it called? Parkour. You do parkour down the building? I do parkour and like, um, gymnast you know, over signs and awnings because there's all these little ends of wood sticking out of these adobe things. Yeah. If you were to do parkour, it would have taken you less time to just go in a straight line to the cafe.

Oh, he does. It takes 15 minutes. Use the stair. Nevermind. And he lands back on his own roof. Oh, okay. He just walks down the stairs. He goes down the stairs. And then over. You have steps right outside your door that go right down to the street. I think there's like a balcony at this point of neighborhood ladies and dudes like all watching just being like, whoa. Wow. Oh, right. Cause he, cause Ving's like Bruce Lee shredded now. Yeah. Uh, yeah.

There's a smattering of applause as you land back on your roof. He's very embarrassed. But also he can't help but show off. And he's just sitting at a table at this cafe like, hey, how'd it go last night? How'd it go? It went great. We got a lot of really good information. Tell me everything. What do you know about the jackals? Um, I think I've heard of them. What have you heard? Criminals. Yeah? Go on. Extortionists. Some say hired killers. Well, at least they're not doing it for free.

They've gotten into white root recently or something. Not fun people. Why? Why do you ask? Well, we found out where the there might be an entrance into the well that runs underneath the library. Really? But apparently it's right dab in the middle of Jackal County. Oh, I wish I was a wizard still. Were you ever a wizard though? If I had my power, I could walk into that neighborhood and turn them all to goo. To frogs. Is what you could have done. Yeah, I could have turned them into frogs too.

Yeah. Frogs are made of goo. Frogs are made of goo. Everything's made of goo. Everything is made of goo. We're all made of goo. I just break… The thing doesn't jerk off. He's in motion with his hands. Not wrong. That's how you make goo as well. That's right. That's how I make goo. He eats one of the sandwiches. He pulls one out of his fanny pack and puts it on the plate. I got more. I could do this all day. What a weird thing to be cocky about. He doesn't have much of his life right now.

He's got a part-time job. He eats sandwiches. Can we cut to what he was doing last night when we were fucking risking our lives? Yeah, he's dead asleep. He's asleep on the futon in his studio apartment. Wearing some of his fun hats. Yeah, he's got the black feathered d'Artagnan hat that he wore in Crystal Bay just over his face. And he's sleeping and he's got a music bottle popped that's playing very quietly. It's got a coaster over the top so the lid's half covered. So it's coming out quieter.

Yeah, he likes The girl from Ipanema. Yeah. He likes the smooth listening hits. I guess we cut back to the conversation. Yeah, so what's what are we going to do? We're just going to walk in. There's a flagstone over. We need to find out where it is. I have a plan. Where are the others? Do we need them right now? Cut to Billy. Cut to Tuck. All right. Ruby. Lucky. You're both here. Allison. All three? Oh, the gentleman's triple, huh? The women of Spout Lore.

He says the name of the show in his sleep somehow. Spout Lore girls gone wild. Spout Lore girls gone wild. Spout Lore girls gone wild. I can't wait to see some fan art where people draw three and also me. All right. Cut back to the conversation. We need to figure out what the jackals will put up with. How are we going to get in there? We need to infiltrate the jackals. Or at least we have to stay off their radar. All right. Or we get so on their radar that we're off their radar.

Oh, I see what you're saying. We infiltrate the gang itself. I'm hearing, disguises, Ving. That might be unnecessary. We need disguises. I don't think that's what I'm saying. I have to change my face as a painter changes his canvas. I'll consult my kit. Hats are gonna solve this. I'll consult my collection. I wish you never started drinking coffee. I don't know how I survived before. He's one of those guys. Don't talk to me before I've had my coffee.

I cook with coffee and sometimes I put it in the fruit. Forget love. I'd rather fall in coffee. So we're going to infiltrate the gang. Is that what you're saying? Infiltrate their territory or trying to ingratiate their territory, right? Ingratiate ourselves or just sneak in? Yeah, I think we have to ingratiate ourselves to their territory and stay off their radar. Okay, I'm getting mixed messages. So we're ingratiating ourselves to their territory to stay off their radar. Oh, is that coffee?

If you want something, it's got a whole carafe. We need to get into that well. Okay, I feel like we're back at square one now. Cut to Billy and Tuck. Tuck is woken up and he sees he's Oh, it's like around noon too. He's having a late breakfast. Yeah, yeah. Oh, so I was already woken up because Tuck went in the fridge to get a bunch of eggs. Yeah. Four dozen eggs. Four dozen eggs for breakfast every morning to help me get lunch. Yeah. And honestly, you know what?

Tuck seeing Fatim, he's going to have six dozen eggs because he's like, he's bigger than he was for sure. And I need to put mass on if I'm going to withstand the beating that he's going to give me. Totally. And Billy's sitting on the table while Tuck's eating his scrambled eggs. Billy's like shoveling some in his mouth too from his plate. He's going egg for egg with Tuck. Oh, wow. No, I eat the equivalent of one egg. Surprisingly, that's all I want. Yeah. Little bits in his mouth.

And I'm like, Billy, I got, I… That guy's roughly the size of a barge. Yeah. I don't know how I'm going to beat up a boat. Well, I guess you just have to get bigger. So you go for it. You go hard on these eggs. I'm going to go hard on these eggs. And then you know what? I saw Ving doing some fucking parkour moves. I'm going to try some of those right after. Oh, sick. I'll go get Cas's protein powder. Yes. Go get that protein powder. I'm going. He doesn't use it really. Not really.

He uses it for a week. Yeah. He just puts it out when he has a date home. Yeah. There's a bunch of free weights in the corner of his room. Yeah. And then I go get the container, the jar of protein powder and go to the bathroom because that's the only sink I can reach, which is the tub. And I like swirl water in there and I bring it back. Here, chug this. I drink it straight. It's still mostly powder. Oh my God. And I do that cinnamon cough. Yeah, cough.

When people do the cinnamon challenge where it's just like white powder. I feel stronger already. Oh my God. Do I look bigger? I think he probably had a dream about Fadum last night that really freaked him out. Yeah. Fadum came into, he infiltrated your like three women dream. Yeah. And he stole them. Come with me ladies. No, no, come back. Come back. I was the one that did all the stuff that you like. Sorry, Tacoma Dome. He's a successful warrior and look at him. He's fucking huge now.

And then it cuts back to Tuck and he's like a little baby, but his head is still the size of Tuck's head. He's got a little baby body. The beard still. Yeah, the beard goes down to the floor basically. This is a wild nightmare that he's having. Yeah. And he, it's that thing he shoots up in the middle of the night like I was a little baby. I never want to be a baby again. It was hard enough the first time. And he goes straight to the kitchen to steady the eggs. Start bulking.

And that brings us to now. And we're at the breakfast. Well, Tuck tries to parkour out the window. And what happened? He steps on one of the like the wooden posts that Vig stepped on and it immediately breaks and he falls to the ground. He just falls 20 feet. Yeah, hits the ground. To the street. Wow. Wait, should I do a damage roll? Well, no, I mean you're impervious now, so you're extra tough. Yeah. So yeah, you just slam onto the street.

And I look up at the balconies of people who watched Vig. And they're all going no, no. No. No, boo, boo. No. No. Not enough eggs. Bring back Vig. Vig and Perel are just talking in circles. All we need to do is get into the well. There's a flag on top. Hear me out. There's a flag on top? We have to be in… There's a flagstone. You're not paying attention. This is really good coffee. It's incredible. Why would there be a flag in the middle of an intersection? I don't know.

The rock guy told us about it. Oh, it's a flag rock. Right. Of course you said that. No, the man was a rock. So we have to infiltrate the gang. Hey guys. Oh, hi. Hey, Billy. Hey. Hey. I just took the stairs. I was sweaty. Do you have anything to drink? Yeah, here. Coffee. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Water. That's fine. Okay. He flags down somebody and gets Billy a water. What are you guys talking about? Vig updated me on the situation.

The well is in the middle of an intersection in Jackal territory. And here's what I'm thinking. Hear me out. Disguises. I mean, I honestly don't see a reason why we don't just walk up to the flagstone. I don't know why. Yeah. And break into it. Yeah. I have an axe that can break any stone. And I… No one's gonna punch me. Hmm. I've seen you get punched though, Billy. No. Okay. All right. Well, okay. I'm gonna go… This sounds good. We'll just walk in. We'll just walk in.

Perel, if you want, you could dress like a city worker. I'll be right back. And he runs up to his apartment. I also go upstairs to get the axe, but I put a canvas bag over the… It to make it like less conspicuous. Yeah. And I tighten it up and I put it on my back. Nice. Cool. Axe disguise. What does everybody… Yeah. What does everybody grab when you're going to this neighborhood? Oh. I have a short sword, so I'll grab that. Oh, and I have a slingshot, so I'll grab that too. Sick. Cool.

Does Ving grab anything? Yeah. He grabs his… He always brings a jar of gunpowder wherever he wants. Oh. And him and his group have been really like… That's been what they're concentrating on is making more gunpowder. Oh. Whoa. And he grabs his… His harpoon. The harpoon. Yeah. Cool. And Perel comes back down and he's wearing an orange reflective vest. No, I don't know what a city worker in McCall looks like. I think they wear sand colored clothes. So just like tunic. Yeah.

It's a tunic, but it's just sand colored. Yeah. So he doesn't have any of that. So he comes down wearing his regular clothes and a fake mustache. So you're dressed like a city worker? I mean, as close as I can get, I don't have a city worker's uniform. Wow. You just went all out on that mustache collection. Sure did. Look, I actually… I'm also wearing false eyebrows. What's a city worker's name? Mort. Hmm. Yeah. My name… And I have a voice too. Well, let's hear it. My name's Mort. Oh. Cool.

My name… It's like a… I actually have a big tongue. Ew. Wow. My name's Mort. Okay. Good? Good or bad? I don't know. It's a speech impediment. Maybe I'll just come along. I'm gonna keep the mustache, but… Keep the regular voice? Yeah, this is my voice. You should lose the eyebrows, though. Maybe you guys should do most of the talking. Yeah. Let's review our characters. I'm Tuck. I'm Ving. And you? I'm Fabbilly. Okay. Cool. Wow. Let's go.

And it's pretty easy to find your way to Cliffside because you can see the lighthouse from anywhere in McCall. So you basically just walk in the direction of the lighthouse. Cool. I don't imagine anything happens on the way. You pass some light guard here and there. Thankfully, the three of you aren't super out of place in McCall because it's quite a cosmopolitan place with a lot of different people. But eventually you get to the area of Cliffside, which is the sticks, basically.

Like, you're basically in the sticks now. There are fewer light guard around. There's a lot more people. But you mostly see them moving around inside homes. Like, you see them through windows and corners and alleys. And you see some real hard-looking youths. Like, mean-looking people. They all are wearing these maroon-colored leather jerkins. Leather? Ugh. So sweaty. Yeah. With no sleeves on. So it's just like hard leather vests, basically.

And they all have these really, like, wicked looking knives on their belts. You could put two and two together. These are probably jackals. Okay. Yeah. And they're really eyeing you up as you start walking around. Nobody stops you because it's not like a checkpoint. But they watch you walk in. Oh, it's sunrise. Well, the sun has risen. Oh. So it's time for Billy to make a roll. With my… Fairy child. With my charisma. Okay. Please. That is a five. Plus your charisma. Seven. So three. So three.

Cool. And that's for the, like, until the next sunrise. So if this session ends up being three days, then that's all you're getting. Okay. Uh, okay. Yeah, so Perel is getting nervous. There certainly are a lot of angry-looking youths here. Just keep walking. Okay. If you don't look scared, they're not gonna approach you. And don't look at them. Don't stare at them. I'm looking at one right now. Stop staring. I'm looking at one right now. Look away. Look at… Just look at your feet.

He's looking at me. Look over here. Look over here. Look over here. That was terrifying. Can we head towards the intersection? Yeah, totally. You're, like, following street signs, basically. You get close to Tourmaline Crescent and, uh, Ibis Street, and you turn one block before that intersection would be, and there's a wooden barricade across the street. What the hell is this? Fuck. And there's a bunch of jackals just hanging about. Oh. Should we turn around?

And you hear somebody yell out, Hey. Hey, yourself. What's going on? What's with all the barricades? We were, uh, hoping to get down to, uh, the, you know, the street that you're blocking off. Tourmaline. That ain't gonna happen, friend. Turn around. Why? What's up? This is jackal territory. Now turn around, or you're gonna leave with more holes than you showed up with. Hey, my hole's got a lot of work. So… I wouldn't mind a couple more.

And they're just, like, they're just, like, the kid that's talking to you just glares. Kid? Oh, yeah, this kid, he's a teenager, probably. Alright, kid, what's your name? I'm not telling you my fucking name. Are you from this neighborhood? What do you think? Yes. You get the idea that he, like, based on, uh, like, because you're from fucking McCall. And I'm from the sticks. You're from the sticks? I grew up in the sticks. Oh. Because I was an urchin.

Yeah, but you never established that until just this second. Oh, yeah, I grew up in the sticks. Yeah, so you can tell based on his accent that he definitely grew up in this neighborhood. And I'm like, do you know Mr. Tarek, the corner store owner? Mr. Tarek, yeah. Yeah? What if I do? Free candies on Fridays? Uh-huh. Yeah? He leaves them out back? Left them out back. What happened to him? What do you think happened to him? He was old. He retired? He retired. He retired. Okay. Okay, he retired.

Okay, well, that, I was worried that he had died. His kid runs the store now. Okay, yeah. And his kid pays tribute to the jackals. Okay. I all I'm saying is like, look, I'm from here. We came from the same place. I've been gone for a while. Okay, I'm from here too, and I'm telling you to get out. I'm not leaving. This is my home. You hear that, boys? He doesn't want to leave. And they start, like, sauntering out like fucking Tybalt in the opening scene of Romeo and Juliet. Yeah.

Or Ben Volie or whatever. Like, he's just staggering out. And some people start filling in behind him. How many are there? Roll a d6. Nice. So there's three. Okay. And they start wandering out and they are, like, pulling out their knives. They're being very showy about how tough they are. Ugh. You guys are a bunch of ding-a-lings, aren't you? What did you call us? I said you're a bunch of ding-a-lings. And I'm gonna shoot first. You're just gonna shoot him with your slingshot?

Yeah, I'm gonna try to hit him with a rock in the, right here between his eyes. Oh my god. You're gonna try and kill him? No, just- Do you want to hit him between the eyes or do you want to hit him in the back of his throat while he's monologuing at you? That'd be pretty funny. Yeah, I'm gonna try that. Who's this little ding-a-lick? A nine. Yeah, I can aid- How? Maybe I'm amping the kid up where I'm like, hey, you can't tell me where to go. This is my fucking home.

And I'm, like, really distracting him. And getting him to monologue more? Yeah. Holy shit. Oh, wow. Plus what? Bond? Oh, 11. Yeah. Fuck yeah. So Billy gets a 10 on his Wally. I have a clear shot and I deal my damage, which is a D8. Yeah. Please be huge. Boom! Oh, fuck. What is it? It's a 2. It's a 2. Whatever. It's a 2. That's fine. It's just a rock in the back of his throat. He can choke on it. It's simply a rock in the back of his throat fired from what is functionally a gun.

So he's talking, yeah, this is jackal territory. And if you want to get into jackal-tory, you gotta pay the and he just falls backwards choking. Yeah. And he's, like, coughing, like, and I'm like, what did he say? What did he say? I think your friend swallowed a fly. I think it was a poisonous one. I've seen them before. Perhaps he'll die. You gotta put a spider in there to get the fly. I really, I really… The thing runs up, starts doing CPR. Go get help, you idiots! He swallowed a poison fly!

They're gonna try and fight you now. Oh, no. They got their knives out and they start trying to figure out who to rush first. I'm gonna do fight with honor, which is my starting move. Oh, yeah. So we get to roll, and when I enter a fight, roll plus constitution, and ten plus hold three chi, ving chi, and seven to nine hold two. Spend a chi during the fight to achieve one of the following effects. So roll plus your constitution. Ooh, six. Is a failure.

So he's like, I will fight with honor, you little pieces of shit. And then he starts, yeah, he's basically gonna roll up on a fight with two kids. Yeah. So that's not really honorable. Billy, do you wanna help? Yeah. So what's Billy do to aid Ving? Can I shoot another shot? Yeah. Two d6 plus bond. Nine. Okay. They start moving forward and Billy's doing the like, wang, wang, like trying to keep him back. So you get two chi, and uh, one of them runs at Ving, and the other's running at Perel. Oh!

And everyone's leaving Tuck alone. Uh-huh. You feel, honestly, he feels kinda lonely now. But yeah, Ving, one's rushing right at you, swinging his knife all crazy. I will deal my damage to a foe within reach. You spend a chi and you deal your damage. Five. Five. Okay, you put this kid in the fucking dirt. Oh, shit! Like he runs at you. I use all of his momentum running at me. Oh yeah. Sweep him off the side. Trip him up and he lands right on his face. And hold onto him. He's out cold. Boom.

What kind of style do you use for this? Yeah, what animal are you emulating? Uh, moth. What? Yeah. Okay, can you explain please? Uh, well because he's coming into really uh, hot and heavy. And uh, Ving does this like crazy, unpredictable thing so the kid is like, what? He loses sight of it. He's like, where am I? I don't know where to stab. And then he puts him down like a moth to the flame. You really need to work on your animal style names. Oh man, that was so lame.

It was like cool, but it was also, it was just skirting the line to not cool. And he said, lights out! Wow. Ving is just trying not to turn into the animal so hard. That was moth form. Tell people about it. That was dusty fist. Moth or fucker. And uh, yeah, like one's running at Perel and Perel's like, huh, huh, huh. Perel turns around and starts to run away. Tug just kicks the kid. Like he just kicks him in the hip basically. Yeah. Hulk style? Yeah. 2d6 plus strength for hack and slash?

Oh, balls. Uh oh. So I rolled a four and my strength is two. Oh man. So six? These are literally children. Can I help you? Yeah. 2d6 plus bond, same thing, like shooting rocks at him. Same thing. Shooting rocks, mostly for fun. Billy's having a blast. Yeah. Ten. Wow. Billy's support is like making this fight possible. Look how hard I love. Yeah. Okay, so you get a seven, you get a seven. Which means that you deal your damage and he deals his damage. Yeah. Four.

Yeah, again, you like nail this kid in the hip. And he stumbles back. And he just goes, ow! And he throws his knife at you. Uh huh. Roll a d6. Four. Fuck. Four. So minus your plus one natural armor. Yeah. It sticks in your like, right in the middle. Oh man, this kid's good. What? But he does like an underhand throw. Yeah. And he gets you right in the chest. Yeah. And he's like, oh. And he's like, wait. And he looks at his hands realizing he doesn't have a knife anymore. I'm like, you know what?

You got me. Kid, kiddo, look at me. He puts his hands up. I'm like, good throw, man. You're talking with a knife in your chest. You're just dadding a kid who stabbed you. But then the choking one spits a rock onto the ground. And he gets up and he looks at the guy that threw his knife and he's like, turn. You threw it. You threw your knife. And he looks at what's happened. He looks at his other friend in the ground. Billy's got another rock like trained on him.

Vang's doing like, fluttering around like an idiot. What's this? This is your worst fucking nightmare, kid. What is Perel doing right now? He's like behind a pillar peeking around. One eyebrow just sliding down his face. Can you come back over here? Yeah, okay. Yeah, I was just surveying the battlefield. Okay, man. It's fine. Everybody did a good job according to the plan I laid out when we showed up. Well done. Billy, good job with the support. Tuck, great defense thing. I love the flips.

Hi, my name's Mort. And I am their leader. No, he's not. Hey, kid, what's your name? Um, Ment? Yeah, my name's Ment. Alright, well, I'm basically like a smaller version of you guys. Okay. What are you, six? No, I'm way older than that. And you just lost a fight with us. So, you guys should be, like, stoked to let us in your crew. Alright, look, okay. What do you want? We just wanna fucking go into this neighborhood. I'm gonna be straight with you. Okay. I really can't let that happen. Why?

It's my only job is to watch this wall and not let anybody pass. You might notice there's not even a door in the wall. If you guys go through here and I just let you go, bad stuff's gonna happen to me. Somebody roll a, uh, something to convince him. Billy. 2d6 plus, uh, charisma. We're gonna call it a defy danger charisma, unless you're offering him something. Ten. Okay. Yeah. Uh, okay, what I Fucking sick. Yeah.

He, and he looks around, cause he, they did just get their asses whooped by you guys. Okay. Um, and he looks at the three of you. He looks at Tuck and goes, no. Looks at Vang and goes, no. Looks at Billy and goes, definitely not. And he looks at Perel and goes, I'm gonna need you to punch me in the face. Perel's like, what? Me? Yeah. I'm gonna need you to punch me in the face really hard. Hit me in the nose. I just don't want them to think that I let you through. Okay? Does that sound fair?

Yeah. Yeah. If anybody asks, tell them you absolutely beat the shit out of us. Turns out, sound good? And turns like, yeah. Hey, can I get my, uh, He's pointing at Tuck's chest. You want your knife back? Yeah. I just pull it out and I toss it at him. It hits the dirt. He doesn't catch it. Just, ooh. Pretty cool. Thanks, man. Pretty cool. You're pretty cool, too. Good arm. Thanks. Okay. You gotta punch, turn an eye in the face, okay? Perel goes, alright.

And he does the, he just does the worst punch imaginable. Here it's, here it's gonna, here's it com, here's it coming. Perel, Perel, Perel, Perel, Perel, Perel, Perel, Perel, Perel, pop. And he pops the kid in the nose, and he goes, and Perel goes, But Ment starts bleeding from the nose. Perfect, perfect. And then he does the same thing to, uh, to turn. And they're both bleeding from the nose, and they go, okay, great.

And then Ment goes, the other guy sits up and he's gonna have a face full of blood and dirt. What I guess. Just stay there, man. Just stay there. And Ment goes like, alright, just don't tell anybody we did this. And he just does a dead fall onto his back. Uh-huh. And goes, ugh. Okay, go. Go, get outta here. Oh, shit. Alright. So yeah, you have clear rain to the wall, basically. We climb the wall. Yeah, so you hop over the wall.

You get lucky in that it looks like this was a fairly quiet corner of the Jackal's territory. Like, these three idiots were here because it's probably one of the most easily protected zones. Uh-huh. So there's just a street with some boarded up buildings on either side of it. And the lighthouse is quite a few blocks ahead of you, but it's towering above you. Wow. Uh, but the corner of Tourmaline Crescent and Ibis Street is basically right in front of you. Is there anybody around?

To certain realities? Do we need to? Uh, yeah, you could do certain realities. That's seven. Oh, thank god. You get one question. Yeah, I guess what should we be on the lookout for? You're looking for like a big flagstone, and what you see on the entire street is individual bricks. What the fuck? It looks like that the flagstone has been since paved over. Fuck. So you're not 100% sure where the well actually is on this corner. Mother fuck. Can I use World Talker? Yeah, I guess you can.

Hell yeah. I was also thinking that like, I could use some of the elemental mastery to find where the water is too. Yeah, cool. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, why don't I just bring up all the water that's right there, and then blow that flagstone straight up in the air. Hell yeah. Oh, plus my wisdom? Uh, actually, no. In your new class, it's Constitution. Oh, great. For the elementalist, it's Constitution. Nine. On a seven to nine, you choose one. The effect you desire comes to pass.

You avoid paying nature's price, and you retain control. Or you retain control. Could we aid it all? Yeah. Yeah. Um. Oh, wait. The axe has Terilary and Chad in it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And they're rock. Fuck. Yeah, there you go. But you're trying to commune with water. I mean, still spirits. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, maybe like. Maybe I'm having a hard time going that deep through all the rock. Yeah. What if you give him the axe and like, he like, holds it to the ground? Yeah.

As like, like a divining rod. Like a conductor, almost. Yeah. Cool, yeah. Cool. So, yeah. So, as a witcher. Yeah. 2d6 plus bond. Eight. Great. Yep, so you get a ten. So, you choose two. The effect you desire comes to pass. You avoid paying nature's price. You retain control. Uh. Here we are again. Yeah. Paying nature's price. Yeah, I'll pay nature's price. Really? You're gonna pay nature's price? Okay. Um. Let's see what it looks like. So, tell me what this looks like.

You, you're basically reaching down into this well, finding the water, and pulling it back up. Yeah. He's putting his fingers down on the ground and, and um, with the divining rod, holding the axe and drawing a circle in the middle of the intersection. And spinning it and using the centrifugal force of the axe and spinning a circle, circle faster and faster. Oh. And pulling up the, the water. Sucking it in huge deep breath. Pulling from his heels up through the top of his head.

So, you have this like, circle. You find with the help of Larry, Terry, and Chad, they're like, no man, like this way, little bit. Okay, no, you got it. You got it. Don't move. You got it. And you draw the circle and you um, you reach down, you feel the connection with the water. And you pull it up. From the depths of this well. And almost like a water knife, it's cutting a circle. Like through the plug. Oh, sick. Fucking rad.

As Ving's standing in the middle of the circle, he's lifting his hands up in the martial arts forms that he's been practicing. So cool. And the water just and then all of a sudden there's a sheet of water surrounding Ving. And it stops. And Ving does his like, hands pressed down thing. And then the plug falls with Ving on it. Ving! Oh! And that's where we're gonna end it for this week. I've been your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome, the Barbarian, Abdulaziz.

So long. Playing Ving, the Half-elf Druid, Paul Hoppers. Playing Fat Billy, the Halfling Thief, Jessica Tai. Oh, wow. Bye. Thanks to Erin Reid for our intro and outro music. Thanks to all our amazing susporters for susporting us across the world wide web. We'll see you next time everybody. Bye bye now. And so ends the tale of adventures three, who tried the best they can. Though dumb and scared and lost they be. For time's a breastplate in revelry.

And though our journey may be like a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores. And for you I'd gladly spell dawn.

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hi everybody, welcome our dear friends and suspenders We are now in season seven of Spout Lore And everybody has changed over the course of our campaign What the fuck Paul, are you serious?

Jessica, gross!

I don't know if the mics picked that up, but Paul loudly farted The mics picked that up Yeah, that was incredible Wow, wow I'm just floored Also in my direction Yeah, totally Way to set the fucking stench for the season, Paul Just amazing Listen, it makes sense, we're going to McCall, it's salty It's sulfury Yeah Exactly And since we're in McCall, totally new setting We've decided that as everyone has reached level ten in their original playbooks We're going to transition, instead of going to compendium classes and extending those classes further We're rolling it back, we're gonna go back to level one with whole new classes And that's what we're gonna be doing today Is figuring out what those classes are going to be How is that different from compendium classes, what we're doing now?

A compendium class, what we were gonna do with the compendium classes Was we were just gonna add one to each of your classes Which would functionally make you level eleven, level twelve, level thirteen, etc Just like, basically artificially extend the classes as they were Okay But this way, everybody's gonna have access to like a bunch of new moves Instead of the, it's usually like five to six new moves for a compendium class But this we're gonna make like whole new things Middle school Do we get to keep like our old moves?

You will keep some of them Oh, okay You won't have access to all of them Basically what we'll do first is we'll go through your classes and we'll decide what the moves are that are like integral to the character Yeah And we'll choose those and then we'll get rid of everything else Cool Yeah So, who wants to go first? Tuck Abdul?

Okay I have the least figured out Oh, okay No, you don't Okay Yeah, nobody has anything figured out Jessica has the most like concrete class stuff, I guess I could go first Okay, yeah, then Sure, you do it Is that cool?

100% Yes, please Please Okay, okay Because then we'll see how, what we're supposed to do Cool, I will fuck it up And then we won't do that That's fine Okay So, basically what we did with Jessica is I created a whole new class Like I made a playbook called The Fairy That's so cool I guess The Fairy, like we decided that Billy was going to become full on focused More focused on being a fairy because of his exposure to the like extreme energy at the eye of the storm Yeah At Lillian's tomb Oh Because he went into like almost like a transition Like he remembers like his roots And so, I think that's why it made more sense for me Yeah But he still has like a lot of, like we kept a lot of his kind of like thiefy aspects Like the, more like the trickster Cool Yeah Let's go through and talk about the thief stuff that you want to keep first I do like tricks of the trade And I like trap expert Mm-hmm I don't think I'll keep flexible morals Mm-hmm Or poisoner I didn't use, like I use poisoner a bit But I feel like that's like not as legit to Billy anymore Yeah, flexible morals never ever came up No And probably won't because we don't really have magic in our world No Oh, is it a magic thing?

Flexible morals is when someone tries to detect your alignment which is usually done magically You can tell them any alignment you like Oh Yeah Useless Useless Literally the word that popped into my head Yeah Useless Yeah, absolutely useless Okay, so of the advanced moves that you have Mm-hmm What is like, what are the ones that you're like, this is key to Billy?

Oh, connections for sure Yes Oh yeah, we gotta fucking find nimble again Yeah Oh man, my goodness Nimble I like shoot first Mm-hmm Um, I also like I also kinda like wealth and taste, I think Yeah Okay Yeah Sure, sure Man, it was such an ordeal for you to get that every time I was like, I don't understand how it works Yeah I don't get it And then I used it and it made sense It kinda did, yeah, yeah It was pretty funny I don't know, I mean like if you guys think I should get rid of it, that's okay No, no, no But I just think it's so funny This isn't up to you, this isn't up to anybody else But it's like, it's the same conversation again where it's like, you're like, I kinda like wealth and taste And you can just see my face go, fuck Yeah, cause you're like, there's all these other cool ones, Jessica And I was like, nah No, that one makes the most sense for you, absolutely Yeah Um, I'll lose brewer and envenom Mm-hmm Um, I like escape route Mm-hmm Yeah, you just got that too Yeah And I think also like as a fairy, he would probably be, like he can kinda shift in and out Totally Um, I'll lose disguise because there's a move that you made for me later on that is so Mm-hmm, yeah, I'm gonna go with that And I'll lose evasion as well Cool So, make a note, yeah, just make a note like of the ones that you're keeping And then I guess we'll, I mean as sad as it is to say, we'll make new character sheets Ugh, and then I'll sell these No, I'm kidding, I'll keep them forever Yeah, $10,000 listeners Yeah I don't give a shit if you're already donating Actually, I bet people would want your character sheets As weird as that is to think about Mm I'll keep them for now Yeah, you can't have them I might have drawn a lot of ding-a-lings No, I didn't actually, just a lot of ladies on the back No, I've got the ding-a-lings Oh yeah, you do Yeah I have a bunch of poems on the back of my Oh, that's beautiful I think that is very indicative of us as people Yeah Something I realized I didn't figure out for the fairy is the alignment or racial moves But we can figure those out probably Oh, okay And Tuck, I mean based on the setting, is probably not an outsider anymore, or an outlander Oh, okay I'm gonna go with Tuck Oh, fuck I lose outlander moves Wow Fuck Is there an inlander?

Yeah, is there another way I can monologue for 15 minutes? Yeah, can I be outlander? I mean, yeah, one of you is probably, I mean, I was actually thinking about this What?

Ving takes the outlander move from me And then we start talking about the great forest You piece of shit I vote for that, sorry No, fuck you guys No I quit the podcast Well, no, because the thing is, is that if you think about it, I mean, it depends on where we think we're gonna go next, because I swear to God, if this becomes not a podcast, I'm gonna quit the podcast If this becomes not 100% about me, I'm leaving Abdul, you're already making Jessica's character creation about you But I think we should think about that, because I think it's a cool idea, because like all of Tuck's, like the last three years of these outlander moves have made McCall into this place Oh, yeah And now we're like gonna explore it, which is really cool That's sick There's also a little element of like, Tuck is full of bullshit He can keep up some of his outlanders that are totally untrue Well, and actually, depending on if you end up being a bard, you get moves like that, like you get to talk more, basically Oh, cool Well, actually, with bardic That's all I really wanted, I'm fired up One of the things, because bardic lore, how it works is you choose your area of expertise Sean, this is Jessica's time Ving's gonna be a bard, too Sean's quitting the podcast No, no, no, I'm actually just realizing that I'm gonna go put on some deodorant, I'll be right back Okay Can I borrow some of your deodorant?

Oh, me too Is it weird if we all use the same deodorant? No, it's, I don't care We put it on first And then I'll go second What? This is bullshit Well, I forgot my deodorant Do you want the deodorant? You go first Okay, and then Abdul and then Paul? I forgot mine in the truck, and Aaron has the truck I never wear it Paul, do you use some crystal for deodorant? I do Fuck Does it work? It does What the fuck?

Not Okay, so, yeah, those are the moves that Jessica's gonna keep for Billy, which is great, good stuff I'm gonna go with the crystal Okay, so, yeah, those are the moves that Jessica's gonna keep for Billy, which is great, good stuff I'm gonna go with the crystal Okay, so, yeah, those are the moves that Jessica's gonna keep for Billy, which is great, good stuff So, what are the basic moves? Do you wanna read through the basic moves for the fairy? Yeah, should I give the descriptions?

Cool, yes, please Yeah, sure Okay, so, the first one is Willow the Wisps Your fairy nature allows you to perform minor magical effects, such as lights, crude illusions, and sounds Crude illusions Yeah That's gonna be great for Abdul So Yeah Do you wanna make a joke? You can Do you wanna make a joke?

Your hands are already making a joke Yeah, it's just like, hey guys, look, this is an illusion of Tuck fucking Ving Ew It's too crude It's too crude Too crude, Billy So many parents you're talking about I guess, yeah And how do you think you got to be?

Yeah, you came out of our penises So gross Billies don't grow on trees, Billy Billy's like, yeah, I do Okay, small changes to your appearance, the appearance of other or your surrounding Yeah, so, I'm gonna go with the crystal So, I'm gonna go with the crystal So, I'm gonna go with the crystal So, I'm gonna go with the crystal So, I'm gonna go with the crystal So, I'm gonna go with the crystal There's a ton of different kind of spells written about wizard spells Nice pronunciation of prestidigitation, which I'm not sure you've ever said.

So yeah, prestidigitation is a cantrip in the wizard class, which reads, you perform minor tricks of true magic. If you touch an item as part of the casting, you can make cosmetic changes to it, clean it, soil it, cool it, warm it, flavor it, or change its color. Flavor it. Exactly. And if you cast the spell without touching an item, you can instead create minor illusions no bigger than yourself. Prestidigitation illusions are crude and clearly illusions.

They won't fool anyone, but they might entertain them. No bigger than yourself is a real. That's really good. Yeah. But that's a big stack of pancakes. It is. But yeah, so I can imagine, you know, Billy can make like a little colorful shape that looks like a bird. No one's going to think it's a bird, but they're going to be like, oh, that's cute. Yeah. No one's going to think it's a bird. So it doesn't look realistic. No, they won't fool anybody, but they might entertain them. Like a hologram.

Oh, so in like a busker. Yeah. Or like little lights. Nice. So the other move. I like the idea that Jessica's walking up the busker. You're not fooling anybody, buddy. Put that bongo away, you moron. So fairy child's move. You are a fairy, a nature spirit bound to material form. At the beginning of each day, roll plus charisma. On a 10 plus, hold five. On seven to nine, hold three. And on a six minus, hold one. Any unused points do not carry over and may be replenished each morning at sunrise.

Pretty cool. At any time, you may spend a point one for one for one of the following effects. Create a convincing illusion. Vanish from sight. Charm an individual for a short while. Overcome your weakness momentarily. Switch two objects within view. Switch? Yeah. So it's like he has a key in his pocket. I have a rock. I'm going to switch them. I have the key. That's what I was thinking. He has the rock. That's really sick, too. Yeah, that kind of stuff. Fuck. We'll talk about it. Yeah.

And if you fuck it up, then you open your hand. And one of his balls is in your hand. You're like, oh, no. Or you have two. You have two rocks. And he has two keys. You're like, wait, hold on. How did this happen? Oh. And then the last basic move is cold iron and clover. As a fairy, you are bound by certain natural laws. Work with the GM to determine your weakness and record it.

While you're exposed to your weakness, minus one ongoing until you're able to rest for a few hours unburdened by its source. Cold iron and clover sounds really cool. Except why would I want it? I think it's like the kind of thing where it's like it's a consequence of being a fairy. Yeah. Less a move and more like this is your weakness. My curse. Yeah. Although maybe there is a thing that we can add that's like a benefit. What's my weakness? Yeah. What is your weakness?

That's a good starting point. Advice. Yeah. Gravy. Gravy stuff. Yeah. Salt seems to be one. Salt. Cream. Milk. Is it just that you're lactose intolerant? I think so. I think I'm just lactose intolerant. So now you can't have any dairy at all and you take minus one ongoing until you're able to rest for a couple hours. Your eyebrows are doing a thing right now. I know because I feel it. Okay. What about. Okay. How about this?

So when you encounter your weakness, maybe you roll for it like you roll constitution or something like that to to resist it. Okay. Because how because how cream and milk and stuff work in folklore is you leave cream out for berries and they're like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I love cream. But maybe it's like Billy. You have to like resist the urge. Yes. To drink the cream. And if you resist it, if you succeed in the role, then you're immune to it for the day. Okay. Does that make sense? Yeah.

Does that sound like a benefit? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So it means that you're like you can. Yeah. I guess if you resist it. Then you're like, okay, it's not going to affect me. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got it. What about warm milk? What if we could change it to warm milk and honey? Yeah. The name of the move. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. So the weaknesses are warm milk and honey. Okay, guys, hear me out. Okay. Here we go.

So if you roll your what should we constitution charisma? I think constitution makes sense to me. Constitution makes sense. Charisma feels more fairy like. Yeah. That's the tough thing. But he has to have strength to avoid what he wants. Okay. Constitution. It is. Sounds good. So if you resist it, you don't take that minus one ongoing. But you get an additional fairy child hold. Okay. So if I resist. Yeah. So you have a weakness. So you have a potential.

You can potentially fuck yourself up or you can power yourself up. Yeah. I like it. Okay. So I take. I take a little pill. If I win, I take a pill to have the milk. Like a lactate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I feel like the pill is your true fairy self. Like Billy, the boy. Oh, yeah. Is allergic to milk. But the fairy is drawn and wants it and thrives off it. So when you are able to use your face self to resist the Billy effects, then you've got you're more fairy that day than Billy.

That makes so much sense. That's so cool. That makes sense. There we go. Thank you. Yeah. We got it. Yeah. That's more full move now. Yeah. I'm glad that we all got to talk about that. Thank you. Cool. Does it. So does that all seem. I like it. Worth it to you. Yep. And you have some advanced moves that we can talk about later or now or whatever. But cool. Okay. So. Cool class, guys. Good job. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Sean. And Paul and Abdul.

And once it's a fuller class, then I think I'll make it available. That's a great idea. For download for free. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Cool. So we need to think about Billy's alignment. Oh, I would like to keep it chaotic. And do you want to keep it leap into danger without a plan? Or do you think it is explored in a different way now? You're going to keep it? I think so. Cool. I think that's still like very like true to his himself. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In terms of the racial move.

Do you think that you have a different thing now? Because it's probably not like. Yeah. Who are you racist against? Oh. Oh. The halfling. Yeah. We attack with a ranged weapon. Yeah. That came in really handy. Oh, your ranged weapons are so cool. But do you. Should we change it? Like, is it more fairy-ish stuff now? I think I'll keep the halfling thing. Cool. Can't think of anything else. No, that's great. That sounds perfect. Cool. Okay. So that's Billy the fairy. Cool. Magic. Magic. Okay.

So who wants to go next? Yeah. I don't know. I might as well work through the slog that is going to be this. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's talk about Ving. Okay. So what we did, what I did was take a bunch of potential classes from class warfare. Yeah. And send them to you. Yes. And ask you to choose two to three. Sure. And have you done that? Yes. Okay. Cool. So what are we thinking? Jessica, I have not done that. Oh, no. Okay. Fine.

No, I kind of did. I kind of did. I know. We talked about it a little bit. So we're basically going to be making a class called the Spirit Walker. That's the plan. Oh, so sick. Wow. And we're going to use components from class warfare to do it. Yeah. So what have you been thinking? Should I talk about the ones that I sent you first? You send me the Elementalist. Yeah. The Elementalist is basically a bunch of advanced moves built on fleshing out elemental mastery. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I think that makes a lot of sense for Ving because there's been many times throughout the podcast where I was like, I don't want to do that anymore. Shape shifting. He's moving away from shape shifting. Yeah. And taking animal forms. Yeah. Cool. Oh, so actually, let's talk about the druid moves that you do want to keep. Yeah. Great. Okay. Yeah. So what are you keeping? Do you think? I'm going to keep Eyes of the Tiger. Yeah. That makes sense. Oh, yeah.

I'm not going to transform in them anymore, but I think having some communion with them. Well, because you still have Cloud Piercer or whatever, right? Yeah. The bird. And Cloud Piercer's still tagged. Wait, but do you still have the bird? I mean. We'll find out. I guess we'll find out. In my heart of hearts. It hurts. Okay. But you're going to keep the Eye of the Tiger move. We know that much. Yeah. I think that makes sense because it's a great scouting move. Oh, yeah.

It's almost like Ving's offering himself more to the animal than to take from the animal. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Spirit Tongue. You're keeping that? Talk to animals? Yeah. I'm losing Shape Shifter. You're losing Shape Shifter? So you don't even want to have the potential to have access to it. It's gone. Whoa. That's a big move. That's huge. That's huge. That's huge. That's huge. I will lose Shape Shifter. Whoa. That's fucking huge. I can't turn into an owl anymore.

I just can't do it. I'm going to say right now we're not changing the theme song. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Well, because I'm going to keep. I would like to keep. Oh, can I not keep Elemental Mastery? No, you can keep Elemental Mastery. Yeah. But that's not Shape Shifting. That's Form Crafter. You can change into. Oh, no. Oh, no. Any move that you have that's connected to Shape Shifter, you won't keep. So you can change into Elements. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. Not Animals. No. No, no, no.

Not to give up too much of the goods. One of the six to ten moves in Elementalist is Elemental Form. So he could eventually get to the point where he could turn into Elements. Okay. But, yeah, Ving has no access to the ability to change his shape. Me, like, if fans are feeling what I'm feeling, it is a slight betrayal. This is why I want to bring it to the table. I'm not in Season 7, baby. I'm not settled on it. I don't want to betray anyone. I'm a big fan of shaking it up like that.

I think that it's, like, a good thing. I think also narratively it makes sense because he was having, like, issues, you know. Constantly. Yeah. Emotional conflict about changing into animals after he'd, like, been in the spirit world. Yeah. That trip fucked you up forever, Hank. Yeah. Good lord. And that's awesome from a narrative standpoint. Ving went to the spirit world one time and it changed him forever. Yeah. Just like camp. Yeah. When you go to camp, you touch a boob for the first time.

Yeah. I went to a poor kid's camp. What are you talking about? They said me because I was poor. Yeah, but okay. So, I personally, I'm a big fan of you losing shape-shifting. I think that's cool. I think it's cool, too. And I think it's impactful for both the character and the audience. Totally. I think it's a thing that Ving is going to struggle with. Yeah. Like, going forward. I don't think I'm going to lose by nature sustained because that's just forging. Yeah. It wasn't magic stuff.

It was just you picking up food. It seems like magic sometimes. It does, right? You just pick up a handful of dirt. There's free food everywhere. There's seeds in this dirt. I promise. Did you know you could eat spruce tips? Yeah, we know. They're disgusting. Cool. Okay. Yeah. Study Dyson's gone. Eye of the Tiger. So, Formcrafter, gone. Gone. Thing Talker, gone. Oh, no. Thing Talker stay. Yeah. Thing Talker stay. I can still do it. But you can't shape-shift into those things. Yeah.

Like, you can talk to rocks and plants, but you can't become rocks and plants. Oh, man. I don't really use that a lot. I'm always like, hey, raccoon, where'd he go? It could have been, like, the beach. Where is he? Yeah, totally. Like, you could pick up… You could just go to a tree and be like, what's up? Because everything has a spirit. Everything has a spirit in it. Actually, Billy… Sorry to interrupt.

Billy has a later move that allows him to talk to the fairy spirits that reside in things. Oh, cool. Oh, man. Are the fairy spirits different from, like, the spirit of rock? Oh, so cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that should be a basic move, actually. Oh, sure. Really? You know what I mean? To give her more in her arsenal? Just… I just… Yeah. Yeah. Because, I mean, it is really… Like, it's literally just you can see and speak to fairies.

That doesn't seem like something that you should have to choose to do. That's almost the second level move of the, like, nimble move. Oh. Where it's like you can see and speak to urchins, and then it's like you can see and speak to fairies. To the spirit of fairies and urchins. If you guys… If you guys want someone to still be able to… Talk to stuff. But I wouldn't be able to talk to, like, the spirit of rock, for instance. No, I know.

I like that difference that I'll be talking to a rock, but you can talk to a rock if it has a… If it's a fairy rock. Yeah. That'd be cool. That's cool. Also, that's such a cool idea where it's like, this rock has a fairy in it. It's something that a kid would say. Yeah. And it's like, sure, kid. But, like, to Billy, there's a fairy sitting on the rock, like, don't believe you, huh? Well, yeah. And also, Ving would be like, no, I can't communicate. Yeah. There's, like, something else in there.

Should we keep that in an advanced move? Or should that be… I think that's Jessica's call. I would like to keep a basic move, actually. Cool. Yeah. Okay. So Billy can see and speak to fairies. That makes sense. Because that doesn't… Now that I'm thinking about it, it doesn't make sense as a thing that you'd have to, like, really work for if you're a fairy. Cool. Okay. So six to ten things. What else did you take? Chimera. Chimera, gone. Actually, it's kind of easy.

You basically just lose access to all of the shapeshifting moves, including form shaper, form crafter, chimera. Just make a note of the ones that you're keeping and losing access to. Anything shapeshifty, gone. Pretty sick. Big changes, season seven. And in terms of the classes that you're keeping as part of the spirit walker. I guess I keep sister stalker. Yeah, because that's how you got access to animal companion. If you're keeping animal companion. I want to be able to have the bird.

That's what the pendant is for. It's for calling on the bird or having a connection with the bird. I think then you still do have an animal companion. I think that I… You just have, like, a very independent animal companion. But in the situations where the bird shows up and you fight together, you would get, like, whatever bonus. Yeah. But it's probably not there all the time like it was in the last half of, like, season six. And honestly, now that time has passed, he's probably, like, older.

Because he was an adolescent, right? Well, yeah. And he's fighting in the elite squadron now. Right. He's been recruited. Thronebreaker was like, I'm gone. I'm going to go fuck stuff up. Yeah. So maybe he went with Thronebreaker. They're called the Anvil Crawlers. What? It's a type of lightning. Cool. Crawls across the top of the Anvil Clubs. Whoa. Yeah. I don't know. That's sick. I don't… Yeah. So he's just off having adventures on his own. Yeah. He's being trained. He's elite for us. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Cool. Cool. Cool. I love this bird very much. Me too. Yeah. And I like it being a little distant. Me too. Yeah. Because you've grown. He's grown. Yeah. And he's like the class of the squadron clown because he likes to perform. Yeah. He does tricks. Hey, guys. Look at this. Hey, guys. Look at this. Hey, check it out. Cloud Piecer's doing that thing that humans do when they fuck. I love that they are saying that they don't know what it is, but they know the word fuck. Okay.

So Elementalist. Yes. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense. Your basic move from Elementalist is Elemental Mastery. That's it. You get access to other ones. Later. Including Born of Fire. You are no longer harmed by the touch of fire, nor are you vulnerable to heat. Yeah. It's so cool. Whoa. Yeah. There's another one. Heart of Ice. You can walk easily on the ice and no longer vulnerable to freezing. Oh, my God. No matter how cold or slippery it gets. Friend of the Sea.

You can live, breathe, and move underwater with ease. I'm going there. That is so sick. Yeah. The ice one especially. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's fucking great. And there's also Nature's Fury. When you use the natural elements to deal damage, your damage die is a D10. So then using those elements rather than animal forms to get to that D10 damage. I like that. And that's like fucking pulling a rock out of the ground and firing it at somebody. Cool. Fucking like Avatar.

What were the other ones that I saw? Oh, one of the other ones. The Martial Artist. Martial Hero. Yeah. Martial Hero. So Martial Hero is like you're a monk, basically. It's all physical fighting. It's like perfecting your body. Like the first, the starting move for that is called Fight with Honor. Sorry. I just remembered how much you talked about Ving doing Qigong at the weekend. Yeah. And it's because I learned that Paul's been doing Qigong for years, apparently. Yeah.

He just does it on a rock. Which rock? I don't know. He just said a rock. Cool. So cool. That's the name of a rock, not a mossy rock. Yeah. So the starting move for Martial Hero, Fight with Honor, means you, get hold that you can spend to do cool shit during a fight. Block a blow meant for someone else. Break free from bonds. I'm never, or fists of fury are never unarmed. Your body and each of your limbs has a weapon. Yeah.

Now that the shape-shifting stuff is done, is Ving's body still messed up? It's still, yeah. It's still different? That's locked into his physical form. Right. So he's got gills. He's got crystal limbs. That kind of thing. Cool. He won't lose that stuff. Does the moss? Yeah. Does the moss act as a prosthetic now? Or has that hand grown back? It's like there's a crystal armature and the moss is over top. Oh, cool. So it looks like moss, but underneath it's like rock hard crystal. Yeah.

Is it a thing where you wear a glove most of the time so people don't see that your hand is like. Now that we're trying to be a little bit more. Yeah. Same as having the long hair over his gills. Oh, yeah. Just to be 100% clear. What fists of fury means is that you. For the purposes of actual fights and defy danger and stuff like that, you're never considered as being unarmed. Whereas like if Tuck had no.

If Tuck didn't have his axe and someone had a spear, you'd have to work to get past that spear. I have a spear that I carry with me always. Moving on. It's my cock. Yeah, we're aware. Yeah. Yeah. So that's. No, get away from me. It's my cock. I'm aware. I thought you were going for a spear. Yeah. Yeah. So is martial hero one that speaks to you? At all?

Because the way that I thought about it was martial hero would be an interesting idea or an interesting way of being trying to come to terms with the fact that he can't change shape anymore. So he's like developing fighting styles based off the animals. Yeah. So it's like, okay, how did I fight when I was an elk? And how can I like use that as a person? Cool. You know what I mean? Yeah. I like that a lot. Yeah.

And it is like the kind of thing where it's like you get broken up with and you start going to the gym. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Totally. I actually imagine like a lot of like wherever you guys are living, you finding thing and he's just like meditating, doing those like weird breathing exercises. Like he's like flexing his abs and moving around. You're like, are you okay? And he's like, like Edward Norton from the first. Exactly. That's exactly what I was thinking.

But if you got to just a few minutes before he was like all slunched and like hanging out and like picking his nose. And then he hears the door open. Oh, hello, friend. Sorry. I was meditating. I was master. Tending. Meditating. I was meditating. Oh, I was meditating. Yeah. I think it's a really cool idea, but it is something that considers the fact that it's a very fighty thing. Most of it is fighting. Yeah. We don't really fight that much. I don't know.

It depends how you want the character to change, though. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, I'll admit that I am just I think martial hero is a cool evolution for Ving. I mean, there's one move that would be potentially very. No, it would just think it would just. Yeah. Introduce a new. Oh, okay. Is that why? No, no, no, no. There's one move that you don't have to pick, but it's called Buddy Movie. And it's sick. It's it's animal companion for a person. Oh, what?

You get a sidekick and they can, like, help you fight and defend and all that shit. You just get like, oh, my God. Nimble. Wait, can he make one of us his sidekick? No. Come on. We can do that. No. Just for like a trilogy. No, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. But it makes sense. Narratively. Remember, we're talking about mechanically. No. How people were like, hey, there's that God that called the storm and his two butlers that he traveled. Yeah.

I understand narratively, but mechanically it doesn't make any sense. Okay. But what about if it did make sense? Okay. Good point. No. Maybe. But it's also not one that you have to pick. Okay. So Sage. Okay. Sage. The starting move for Sage is called. Consult Sage. When another PC comes to you for advice about something important and you tell them what you honestly think is best, they get a plus one forward when following your advice. Sick. That's great.

At the end of a session, if any PCs benefited from the following advice, you get to mark XP. Whoa. We should ask him tons of questions. Oh, man. They're going to be so much bad advice, too. Yeah. It's a great idea. It's a great way to get a plus one forward. If you're like, you know what I think you should do? I think you should beat the shit out of him. He sounds like an asshole. And they're like, okay, cool. Plus one. Jump out a window. And you get access to moves like Fount of Knowledge.

When you Spout Lore about something no one else has any clue about. Take plus one. I know this work. When you encounter an interesting artifact, construction, or device, you get to roll plus wisdom and you get some interesting questions. Yeah. Sage might be a good choice. I like it. It sounds fun. Yeah. So it's basically just you are a wise person that knows a lot of things. Yeah. Well, and also in the spirit of moving forward, Sage is great. But do you actually like it? Yeah. Okay.

I think I do. Also, you could change it. Yeah. We can change whatever we want. Like, you know, nothing is set in stone. So if you're like, no, you know what? I do want Ving to just be a fighty guy now. You can always just be like, nah, change it. Let's change it back. The Fists of Fury. Yeah. So we can just go with two as well instead of three if you don't feel strongly about it. Oh, wait. We were going to do three. Well, why not? Sage and then Fists of Fury guy. Yeah. Yeah. You could do that.

Yeah. Cool. Oh, cool. So Ving is like a spiritual, has become this like spiritual monk. Oh, cool. Who calls on the elements to like fight. Great. That's awesome. Yeah. That's pretty tight. That's sick. And that's the spirit walker. Yep. Spirit puncher. Hell yeah. So the starting moves for those three are consult Sage, which is the one where when a PC. So when tuck or a Billy comes to ask you a question and see what you think you email Sage Latoura and then Sage Latoura will tell you exactly.

He lets you know what he had. I wonder if he'll give me his phone number. That'd be a lot easier. I don't have to use a computer. Hey, they use the move again. What do I do here? What do I do? What the fuck are you doing now? Who are you? How did you get this number? Hi, it's me. It's Ving. And then the starting moves you get from Marshall here are fight with honor. Yep. Which is really cool. Move. Fist of fury. Fist of fury. And then elementalist. The starting move is elemental mastery. Yep.

Great. Oh, dope. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. That that has a very cool like those moves paint a very cool picture in my head. Yeah, me too. Fighting with that water. Yeah. Fire. Yeah. But with honor. Yeah. I like that. And because I want to keep the elementary mastery because if I do have the crystal, that's my way of cheating. I think I can still master the elements that are existing on my body. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Ving's alignment. Yep. Do you think it's the same or do you want to change it?

I'm going to keep the alignment is good. Good. Cool. And are you going to do one of the new good ones? Are you going to do the. No, I'll stick with my own. Make someone or some help someone or someone grow. Yeah. And your racial thing. Do you want a new one of those? Or do you want the elf sage one? Because you seem to like that one. Yeah. Sorry. What was that one again? You have lived a long, long life. When you Spout Lore about historical events, you may roll wisdom instead of intelligence.

What's the martial hero one? The martial hero ones for elf are as long as you have chi left, you may defend with dexterity instead of constitution and hack and slash with dexterity instead of constitution. So as long as you have one point from fight with honor, you can use dexterity instead of strength for most things. Cool. Is your strength pretty high though? Yeah. You have plus two strength. Yeah. And your dexterity is plus one, but you have a debility in dexterity too. Oh, cause of the hand.

Yeah. Although that might be resolved with the moss. Yeah, probably. I think the moss is, I think skin. Yeah. I think any debilities that people have, those have been wiped away by now. Fuck yeah. Oh man. My diarrhea is gone. Thank God. No, that's still there. No. That's a debilitation, not a debility. Yeah. Duck has debilitating diarrhea. Yeah. We should get tested for parasites. Guys, we should. Yeah. Ever since we ate that, uh, yeah. Rock crab. Yeah. That sun warmed rock crab. Rock crab.

Soaked in, like, let me dip in the ocean. For flavor. We were fucking desperate. You know how many parasites live on the surface of the ocean? Me neither. Probably a million. Um, yeah. So which one of those do you think you want? The sage elf. Yeah. Sage elf. Cool. Which is, you just, you can, uh, Spout Lore about historical stuff with wisdom. Yeah. Tight. Oh, sick. Cool. All right. That is Ving. We did it. That was an hour. That happens. It's character creation. It's fine, man.

We're digging into stuff. Oh yeah, no, I know it's fine, but I was like, this is going to take longer than an hour. We're setting up the next half of our story. Yeah. Half of our lives. Yeah. Yeah. The next three years of games, probably. Sure, I'm getting hungry. Yeah, I am. You're right. Okay. Tacoma Dome. Mm-hmm. Barbarian. Mm-hmm. Still, culturally, a barbarian. Yes. Mechanically, something else. Who knows? Who can say? So what have you and I talked about? I don't know. We talk a lot, man.

What have you and I talked about? Stop being so disappointed in me. Stop being deliberately chaotic. So we talked about a couple things in terms of class stuff. Wait, do we want to make the whole thing? Because we could do Bard first, if you want. Let's figure out the secondary one first. Okay. So, Impervious. We're doing Bard for sure. So we're trying to think, of what second one? Yeah. And can it, could it, if I don't like any of these, could it potentially be Barbarian and Bard?

And just those two? Ooh. That'd be cool. Like keep my old, and do just that new one? I guess. But you wouldn't have access to like, as much. Talk simple. Okay. Potentially. Yeah, potentially. Yeah. We would just, we would be doing it differently than we would be doing, than we would be doing the other two. Mm-hmm. Which is fine. I'm also special, so that makes sense. Oh, God. Here we go. So, Impervious is all about being super tough. Impervious.

Your path in life is to face danger, head on, and defy it. That is pretty tough. Yeah. The starting move is Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken. Which he's done kind of a lot. Yeah. When you prepare yourself to endure some hardship without fighting back, roll plus constitution. On a hit, you can either take half damage, or you can completely ignore one other I'll effect. That's kind of classic Tuck, where he just like walks into something, and it's just like, hit me. Yeah, exactly.

That's on a hit, any hit, seven to nine, 10 plus, whatever. But on a 10 plus, you can also defeat, expose, or frustrate your oppressor with your stubbornness. Yeah. Wow. That's so funny. Which is very much a Tuck thing. But they're just trying to hit you, and they're like, why won't you go down? So then the advanced moves are Bloody Ages. If I grit my teeth and accept a blow, do I have to like accept it willingly? Like, yes, daddy, please give it to me. Yeah. You have to go, I hear you do that.

So that sound that Tuck always makes me goes, Oh, like, oh, no, please. Don't hit me. Oh, boom. That's pretty funny as his Bloody Ages thing. It's just like, okay, you gotta take this hit. Okay, so how Bloody Ages works is if you take damage, you can choose to take a debility and negate the damage. Okay. So you can take up to six, debilities and negate up to six attacks. Cool. He hits me in the face and I shit my pants. Exactly. Take a debility to charisma on go.

He hits me in the face and I shit my pants. He hits me in the face and I piss myself. He hits me in the face and I barf. Yeah. So, like, this seems like a pretty tough move. Cool. I like that one. What's one of the other ones? Let's see. Strong arm. Strong arm is all about being really strong. Strong of arm. Strong of arm. Strong of arm. Strong of arm. Strong of arm. Strong of arm. Strong of arm. Strong of arm. Dumb of ass. Starting move is muscle bound. A move I think you already have. Oh.

Smash it. If I choose the strong arm specialty, I get to take two loads. Oh yeah. Yeah. You can carry more things. Yeah. You can carry more things. Just go laugh louder. Sorry. You guys are so serious. I'm just tired of loads. Unencumbered, unharmed, unharmed. Unencumbered, unharmed. Unencumbered, unharmed. Unencumbered, unharmed. Unencumbered, unharmed. Unencumbered, unharmed. Which I already have. And the armor thing, I would have the other armor thing. Yep. That's true. The upper hand. Yeah.

Strong arm is a lot of the stuff that you have as a barbarian. Interrogator, my love for you is like a truck, Samson. Nah. Yeah. This is what I already have. So I would keep the ones that I want anyway. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go with impervious and bard and keep some of the barbarian stuff. Yeah. Okay. So actually how that, is if you just choose two playbooks, you get an advanced move from one of them. Oh, cool. Yeah. So you can choose two and then just get an advanced move. Sick.

So you keep some of your barbarian stuff. Like everybody, you'll go through and choose the things that are integral and then you'll just get an extra move. Barbarian. Impervious. Yeah, impervious and bard. Imperve. Nice. You can just write perv. I'm perv. I'm perv. I am perv. How many more loads do you get with that? Yeah. I'm so glad that we don't worry about encumbrance so we never have to talk about how heavy things are. All right. Cool. So we know the things. Yeah.

Except that you get an advanced move from either bard or impervious. Sick. Yeah. All right. Let's start with bard. Well, we'll start with which barbarian ones you're keeping. Oh, yeah. Good call. Yeah. Um, so Herculean Appetites came in handy last time. Game. I think Tuck is like kind of the same guy in that regard where he's like really likes his friends. But it was kind of boring to like win everything. Yeah. I mean, like if you keep Herculean Appetites, it's always going to be a thing. Yeah.

When you're doing those roles. I don't think it's core to who he is. Yeah. I would agree. Especially since he resolved the revenge. When I would also agree considering you used it once. Yeah. Like used it in one episode of three years. Yeah. True. So yeah, I'd say you could get rid of that. I am going to keep unencumbered unharmed. Yep. Yeah. It's pretty key to Tuck that he doesn't wear armor. Muscle bounding to get rid of because I've never used it. What are you waiting for?

That is Tuck to a T, motherfuckers. You've been it's worked once, but it is a thing that you constantly try. Extremely important. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Now advanced moves. There's so many still hungry. Never used it. Appetite for destruction. Don't even know what it does. It was the reason that you had barred moves. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah. All right. It goes to 11 where I sing. That was your like destructive noise attack thing. Wide wanderer.

I've tried to use it so many times in unapplicable situation. I'm not going to take one. I'm going to go with the wide wander. Okay. War cry is very important. Yeah, totally. Mark of might when you take this move and spend some uninterrupted time. Literally never used it. Yeah. Healthy distrust. I'm going to keep that one. Yeah. Healthy distrust and blood for the blood God makes sense. Yeah. Okay. So barred. So starting moves. Bardic lore. Choose an area of expertise. Beast years. Of creatures.

Unusual. The dead and undead gods and their servants. Grand histories of the known world. Gods of their servants. So far my topic. Yeah. For tech. Okay. Um, great histories of the known world. Legends of heroes past. Oh, yeah. Guitar heroes of legends. Past. Oh, man. That's so fucking funny. If you change it to guitar. Yeah, I'm going to change it. Yeah. The pointers, fears or spells and magic.

When you first encounter an important creature, location or item, your call covered by your bardic lore, you can ask the GM any one question about it and the GM will answer truthfully. The GM may then ask what legend song or tail you heard that information in. Yeah. What a pretty fun move. This will be. Yeah, it is a fun move. Keep in mind your area of expertise is specific. It's not broad. So if it's like, if it is legends of guitar heroes past. Yeah.

I'm going to ask you questions about legends of heroes past. Nothing else. So what is that? It would be like, ooh, this, it said that this loot belonged to this great bard. And you can ask me a question about that part. So if I asked a question that was like, hey, the torch of McCall, that's a hero. Yeah, totally. Totally. I know the history of the heroes. Yeah. Like maybe he took had like trading cards when he was a kid where he was like, this is Omar the unbent. And he sleeps on rocks.

He sleeps on rocks. And he's like, I'm going to take a terrible back. Yeah. Okay. So then the history is the great histories of the known world is like historical events. Okay. But you have that history specialty already, right? Yeah. With a scholar, the sage, I mean, yeah. So maybe that's not as useful since you know about history. So I'll take that out dead and undead. No bestiary of creatures. Unusual tuck hates nature.

I think we all know we don't know that doc does so either gods and their servants or legends of heroes past.

Past what about what about this planar spheres or spells and magics oh I already crossed those out okay because it's do you feel like tuck notes about this I mean you have said a lot of stuff about the outer dark about um I mean I guess mostly the outer dark is what I'm thinking about spells and magics like he wouldn't know off the top of his head cool things about wizards he wouldn't know cool things about demons and other dimensions I think it just doesn't make sense for tuck totally I'm I'm just letting you know what those are and I could still try and do it with spell laws right absolutely yeah um but yeah do you guys agree that tuck wouldn't know those things yeah yeah so he would know about heroes because he was like totally a little boy that was like and this is my like voltron action figure yeah you would know the important people from from mccall's history yeah yeah and then gods and their servants would that be like could I talk about like icons and stuff and demons or would it just be like the god of the flame that's the only god what about patrons yeah yeah probably probably I mean it would be religions okay religions and important religious figures I guess I guess that could come in handy with like all the light guard stuff one of the advanced moves is you get another area of expertise so then maybe I'll start with legends of heroes past because it's like that stuff that tuck already knows about and then as we spend time in mccall maybe he learns more about gods and their servants yeah that's cool yeah you only get one yeah you just get one legends of heroes past bardic lore uh abdul just stuck his fist in the air like a freeze frame in a children's cartoon bardic lore um and I get to take one advanced move uh no sorry the other move you get access to is on the next page it's a port in the storm when you return to a civilized settlement settlement you visited before tell the gm when you were last here and I'll tell you how it's changed since then and we were going to do this when there's like areas of the city or even bars because it's like this is like tuck's homecoming right yeah we're going to do this one totally he's like oh yeah I've been to that bar I puked behind that bar exactly yeah very bar related yeah and then yeah you get one advanced move from either impervious or bard okay impervious bard and I picked a third one didn't I no you just chose you just went with barbarian right um so the advanced moves here are when you parlay with someone on a hit you take plus one forward with them kind of boring um choose a second area of expertise I could choose that right now if I wanted uh fount of knowledge when you Spout Lore about something no one else has any clue about take plus one knowledge already excludes tuck from that one a little help you don't want to be even slightly better at Spout Lore nah fine by me fine by me uh a little help for my friends when you successfully aid someone which we do all the time take a plus one forward as well yep you get a plus one forward to your next move well you remember that though that's the only thing oh yeah up to abdul bad memories yeah so I will take bardic lore bardic expert okay and I'll take the um gods and their servants cool cool uh that really doubles down on the torch of mccall well and the light guard yeah yeah totally cool I guess so yeah you know stuff about the god of the flame and you can ask me about specific things yeah fucking shit and I don't need Spout Lore anymore except well I mean you kind of do but it's fine you mean the podcast I have gotten too big for this podcast I'm gonna call it start my own podcast called abdul celery corner that would uh knowingly do very well it really would yeah so something to keep in mind again is that when it's when you first encounter an important creature location so like you would get one question about the torch of mccall you would get one question about the lighthouse okay you wouldn't get to keep asking them over and over okay that's fine uh and then let's go to impervious so starting moves unbent unbound unbroken when you prepare yourself to endure some hardship without fighting back uh roll plus constitution on a hit you either take half damage or you completely ignore one other I'll effect what is one other I'll effect um they're going to smash your guitar they're gonna do other shit okay poison you you know something like that and then there's that's the only move okay cool unbent unbound unbroken cool and then we gotta then the last thing we gotta do is your alignment and your race thing I want to keep it chaotic yep but do you want to keep it issue a convention of the civilized world or do you want a new one yeah okay um what about your racial thing um yeah I had wide wanderer before right or outsider outsider yeah um should we do one that's just like the opposite where it's like insider and I tell you a thing about the city that we're in I mean that's the same move yeah it's not different at all no it's a different name yeah okay because it also makes sense like you know as a bard now that he would be able to tell us all these things I'm not disagreeing with you guys I'm just saying that you have the option to change it just calm down sean let's is there anything that tuck does consistently that he's like I want to do this well let me tell you the two ones in it well let me tell you the ones for bard and impervious okay um um um bard is when you first enter a civilized settlement someone who respects the customs of hospitality to bards will take you in as their guest and impervious is that one kind of makes sense because you're coming home I know but it's not really your home anyways I mean you've never felt like a hometown boy yeah no one would take tuck in and be like you yeah they'd be like oh you it's back you're back I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna tell you all the ones for impervious that I think that makes sense even if they're not just human but for human it's when you suffer a debility take plus one forward to do anything other than fight back the halfling one I think also makes sense it takes only two days for you to recover from a debility or one if you're attended by a healer and the dwarf one which I also think makes sense is when you defend you cannot be moved if your feet are planted firmly upon the ground now I'm gonna stick with what I have okay yeah so I'm gonna call it the insider move though so that's like once per session you ask me a question about McCall again yeah okay cool yeah I like it and my alignment is still chaotic issue a convention of the civilized world so we're done character creation cool yeah we did it everybody our season seven characters have been created tuck has a gun now I just wanted you guys to put your gun away and where'd you get that thing I was tuck he got it when he got to McCall and he was playing with it and he fired it one time and it exploded in his hand and he has no hands his outsider move change he doesn't get experience anymore got a piece of metal lodged in his brain and he's dumber now dumber how even dumb in different ways okay cool character creation dunzo see you in season seven friends and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times abreast in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and free yourself from the şu and gladly

Gather round friends, let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold A brute, a druid, and a thief who is but nine years old You know them by name, you know them by deed, their quests are famously daring So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing Tuck is the brute, he knows not his home, he loves to sing and fight Fingers have health, he shifts his shape, and wields a spear with great might Peely's a thief, his tiny size does mask the largest heart Best and brightest they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smarts So gather round friends, and listen close For the tale's about to start Hello and welcome everybody to Spout Lore.

I'm your host, I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara, and joining me as always, playing Tacoma Dome the Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello. Playing Ving the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello. Playing Fat Billy the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes, we came upon them three months into their inhabitation, inhabiting, well, three months into them living, four months after the end of season six. We came three months into our sublet. Yeah. In the city of McCall.

Billy, Ving, and Tuck, along with Perel, traveled to the city of McCall in an attempt to find a reason that Perel, the wizard, is no longer able to cast spells of any kind. They've been living with a man named Caj Alplats, Plates, Caj Alplates, a clerk in the city of McCall who owns a two bedroom condo, and Perel lives in a studio apartment across the street. This is maybe the weirdest setup for a season we've ever had. I know. It's the setup to two guys that grill at a pizza place, essentially.

It kind of is. It's like got a real friends situation. Yeah, kind of. Like the big apartment, then the small apartment across the hall. Yeah. Our friend is used to have magic and he doesn't. That was season eight of Friends. Yeah. When Chandler is cut off from the Thaumic realm. Joey lives in the freezer. The inciting incident for this season was that Perel became so frustrated in his attempts to gain a sense of security, he decided to go to the hospital. He was in a coma. He was in a coma.

He was in a coma. He was in a coma. He was in a coma. He was in a coma. He was in a coma. He was in a coma. He was in a coma. The inciting incident for this season was that Perel became so frustrated in his attempts to gain entry to the Margani Library that he has decided it's time to try and break in to get the information he requires. So, Billy consulted some Ragamuffins that he's been hanging out with. Yes.

We found out that there's a secret entrance to the Margani Library that is connected to a disused well of some kind that is supposedly located somewhere in the cliffside valley.

Cliffside district of the upper ward yeah near the lighthouse yeah near the lighthouse of mccall the reason the city is named the eternal flame of the west just because the lighthouse still works and you can see it from pretty much everywhere the lighthouse still works I think so cool yeah this giant built lighthouse still has a flame how many feet up is it yeah don't ask me questions like that you tell me uh I don't know like the lighthouse is from when it was a giant city right yeah so and you and I were talking about it giants were about 20 to 30 feet tall what if it's like the eiffel tower kind of height oh damn that's big yeah that's big just fucking huge yeah not as wide as the eiffel tower but it's tall yeah yeah just gigantic um and the yeah there's just like a rotating light in there still nobody made I know it doesn't doesn't rotate oh old old school lighthouses didn't rotate it was just like a beacon basically in all directions yeah you could just see it from everywhere oh that means probably at night of mccall there's still like light everywhere keep in mind it's really high up there's a skirt along the bottom like at the bottom of the light that shields the town oh so it makes a shadow on the town so cliffside's still really dark and actually maybe some parts of it are darker than normal because they don't really get sunlight oh that makes sense that that is the worst neighborhood yeah because it's so fucking dark all the time yeah cool the things that we know about the characters tuck works as a bouncer at a barbarian bar called the bar yeah which is the og barbarian bar yeah he works for an orc named grec who's a pretty nice guy just a gruff old punk ving does outreach in the city of mccall with the socialist dwarves of the deep ward working for a man named crunch who sounds like a dracula and billy goes out at night and he's like I'm going to take a break from this and I'm going to take a break from this and I'm going to take a break from this And just fucks around with a bunch of street kids.

Yeah. But has had interactions with Ifrit. Yes. In that they don't attack him and he speaks to them. Tuck is very angry with you for going out at night. Oh, yeah. Because Tuck is afraid of Ifrit. Oh, true. Yeah. They're not as scary as they are. Well, I guess they kind of are. But it's more just Ifrit are just demons. And like Billy's a fairy. So he can kind of interact with the Ifrit. And they're just the shadows of children who are taken away. Oh, right. Yeah, they were.

Because that's the rumor on the street among the urchins is like, if you get caught by an Ifrit, you'll turn into an Ifrit. Yeah. They're trying to gather friends. Fuck. It's really spooky. Yeah. That's okay. Billy talks to them. Yeah. And he hasn't made any fail better. But he usually is able to get them to go away. To leave the other kids alone. Wow. Wow. That's huge. Holy shit. Billy's like a guardian now. A little bit. Yeah.

Because I was going to say, so maybe in the three months that you've been in the city, there have been fewer Ifrit on the streets. Whoa. Because Billy's been able to stop it. From time to time. He can't save everybody. But Billy doesn't think about that. Because he's not aware of all that really. Yeah, totally. It's just a nice byproduct. And now you have a pouch of saffron that you can't eat. I can't eat it because I can't open it. And I'm not going to break the glass.

I'm going to break the glass jar because I know that they're hard to find sometimes. It's a very expensive small jar. It is. It's like a really cute little tiny one. You knew it took a lot of work. This costs over $2, Billy. Do not break it. Okay. I'll never break it. I'll protect it with my life. Two whole coins. And while looking for information into where this old well might be, the party took a trip to the council hall of the deep ward in an attempt to talk to one of the codices.

Which we determined are the living dwarven archives of the deep ward and probably of the city of McCall. And while trying to help a beleaguered administrative assistant, you made it so, so much worse. Like there's pandemonium in this waiting area now. We're so administratively stupid that we can't even enforce our five gold coin a day. Fee. You've literally never collected that fee. Once. But it was more of a robbery than anything. It kind of was.

And we were given the complex administrative task of sorting a line out. Bing took the Rolodex and was plucking the names out, reading them, and then handing them thinking it was a ticket. Oh my God. And while this horror was unfolding in front of these bureaucrats, Tuck heard a familiar voice yelling over the crowd. It's Fadim. It's Fadim. It's Fadim. Warrior of the light guard and Tuck's old bully. And that is what we're going to do. That is where we find ourselves now.

Tuck is on the ground kneeling in a bunch of shit from a giant goat. Giant goat? Taller than you guys. Well, I mean, maybe. No, not taller than you guys, but taller than the dwarf that's like walking it. That's a huge goat. Cool. You're right. It is a huge goat. You didn't tell us that last time. I said a giant goat. I didn't know it was giant. I just saw a regular goat. No, bigger than a normal goat. Wow. Let's get this goat out of here. Welcome to fantasy.

Most of my fantasy stuff is an animal, but big. Yeah. That's true. What was the villain in the original season? Boragulch. A frog, but big. Because you'll notice in the most recent episode, the pests on the street are rats and a lizard, but big. No, I thought they were regular sized. I said a big lizard. The lizard was big. Oh, no, I can't run from that. This is a big deal. This is a game changer for me now. Lizards don't care about you at all.

They're bigger than rats, but they're not like gigantic. They're like iguana sized, but they're not iguanas. It's like a dragon. Billy in his mind is like, I fought a dragon earlier tonight. So tough. Okay, you pick me up. I'm like, look. Look at it. Billy, we met a dragon. Yeah, but did you meet that one? Look at that one. And it just licks its own eyeball. I could do that. It's still kind of scary. Things like, watch. Half elves have really long tongues. That's why ladies love Vink. Vink.

Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. Vink. And that is where we find our heroes now. This waiting area, tuck on the ground behind a bunch of people, can hear and see Fatim through some bodies. He started like army crawling with all this shit on him. Away. Defy danger. Dexterity. Dexterity? Okay. Get away quietly. These ones are shit. Did you just pick up my high school dice and say these ones are shit? Yeah. They are.

Virgin powers. Yeah, but they only were for white people. It's true. I would believe that actually. Based on the ethnic makeup of the town that I grew up in. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Please help me get away. Seven plus dexterity. Seven. But I mean, a seven is not a six. Okay. So Fatim is not going to see you. However. The smears of shit. The tuck sized shit trail. Yeah, there's that for sure. Yeah, Fatim walks up to the shit trail and he's, he's like, what's this?

And then he's like, no, he probably eats. He does. No, no, no, no. I do think it's funny that he would taste shit because he's fucking stupid, but I think he's also stupid enough that he is just barreling his way to the front. Okay. Everybody out of my way. He got a taste. Okay. Okay. After we leave this scene, we're going to cut back for the first time ever to a point of view character that is not the three of you. And Fatim's going to taste the shit and go has taste familiar.

He's not going to know it's you. I will say that because you did get a seven and nine. He won't know that it's you. You don't want him to know it's you right now because he the light guard currently has no idea that you guys are in town because if Adam eating shit is hilarious, but I'm telling you right now that you can stick around and he can eat shit as much as you want.

But if the light guard, specifically Fatim and the torture McCall, find out that you're in the city, that's they're going to know I'm crawling kind of to the edge of the room to the corner. Totally. What are what are Ving and Billy doing? Ving's going to get the goat. He's going to talk to goat and convince him to like keep shielding us, right? You can still talk to animals, right? Okay, cool. What are you telling this goat? I'm going to say, hey, man, your shit is beautiful.

That's a nice pile of shit. Do you want to like, I don't like hang out, go to the bar. Do you know the bouncer? What do you want? Do you want? I have zero frame of reference for any of the things you just said. I don't know what a bar is. I don't take pride in my shit. No, no. Why would I? You met a goat before? No, we don't do that. We don't do that. There's a bunch of hay over here. Oh, he should have said so. Roll a 2d6 plus charisma. Eight. Nice. Yeah, there you go.

So he's our head lead away big boy. And what's Billy doing? Following the goat as well. Yeah, but Billy had climbed up on one of the pillars. Oh, like one of the columns in the room. Yeah. And so he's like, oh, no. And he just like dead weight drops to the ground and lands kind of silently. You set this up on your own. So is Billy trying to land on his feet or is he trying to bounce through it? He's literally just like land on his back. So you had crawled up there to get away from Fatto?

I guess to get a vantage point. To get a vantage point to like, I don't know. 2d6 plus constitution. Eight. Okay. So Billy just lets go and falls on his back like eight feet. Wins himself. Yeah. Something in your pack breaks. No. Of course. You landed on your fucking back. What is it? Walnuts. You've been trying to get into those walnuts for a while. This is kind of a nice thing. Oh, that's funny enough. I'm a lot. I'm willing to accept that.

So you hear and you're like, no, wait, that was my walnuts like gonna army crawl to and you all just like scuttle out of the council hall of the deep ward. What do we hear? Fat I'm saying is we're trying to scuttle out of that. I was like, hey, so I just got back to town after a good long ways that we've been. I've been look. I've been gone and I'm back. I want my place back and he's just like arguing with this administrative assistant about getting his apartment back.

Please, please get in the line there. I swear there was a line before you came in some fools ruined it for me, but I just please get in the line and he's like yelling. She's like this isn't even the right office. We don't do housing. It's just a huge bureaucratic fucking kerfuffle and fad. I'm doing that thing like nah, this is the right place. You go get your you get your boss and you guys have time. You're just out here. You're covered in goat shit. There's a goat here.

He's like, hey, where's your grass? It's just at the door. Come on. Now. There's a big goat thing is walking a big goat on a chain. Just come this way to the grass. There's no grass McCall's guys. Fuck. I stand up once we scuttle outside. I'm like, wait big. Did you just steal that fucking goat? We got to go guys. We got a goat now. Okay. Yeah. So what's your plan now? You're just gone out. Well, we fucking need to talk to one of these codices. Yeah.

Is there another way back in so how the deep ward looks? Is there are big courtyard areas like basically the council halls carved out of the rock. So it's like there are like alleys on either side of it. There might be doors or windows in. It's like a big city building. Yeah, but underground. Yeah, so you could go sneak in but you'll be breaking into a government. I don't care. Right? Yeah, that's totally fine. You can easily find a door around another side. Let's find a door on the other side.

Come on goat. There's more hay over here. Why are we keeping this? I don't know. He's my best friend. Also, Billy can't talk to goat. It's like, come on, go. He's like, can I really impress his goat? What do you how? What? Why? I'm gonna suck him off. I'm gonna blow the goat. No, I don't know. I don't know how to impress a goat. That's how we used to do it. I just want to know why you're trying to impress a goat. What do you mean? We sorry.

I meant we I know goats like being brushed as per the fucking petting zoo. They also love to heads with. They love butting heads with things. I want to know why you're trying to impress this goat. I'm gonna mark him. I'm gonna use mark of the mark of the animal. What? He's gonna he's gonna use eyes of the tiger. Eyes of the tiger. Mark this goat so he can see through the goat's eyes. Forever. Whoa. Oh, you could push him back in there. Spy on fat of him. Smart. That's true.

I give him a little bit of my moss. I say, hey, sorry to take this. This is very special. It's very delicious. All right. Yeah. Yum yum. Hi, Hoov. Clop. Good to see you. I rub my knuckles in between his horns. You didn't have to do that. So so itchy. That's actually why I was taking me to the council hall because I got goat mites. You gotta go mites. Hold on a second. I tell the mites get better. Get the fuck out of here. Mites or I'm gonna soak this goat and and vinegar. Yeah, I'll do it too.

Oh, let me always leave. You should roll for that for that. This is fucking stupid. But you're Billy Billy and Tucker standing there just trying to clean some of the shit off of. Yeah, thing has got some time. Yeah, I'm just like Billy. Is there any on my back and I turn around covered in shit. I only saw you crawling on your front like I don't even know how you got it on the back. So what'd you get six? Oh, you guys are busy. You guys are busy. No, let me help. Ving has goat mites now.

Let me help. That's it. Things got goat mites in my merino. They're in my hair. Things got goat mites. The goat doesn't have goat mites though. And he's like, wow, I can't believe that you would sacrifice your comfort for me. Yeah, no, no problem, pal. I kind of regret it. Hey, you and I were my brothers now. And then Ving does the two eyes to two goat eyes. Yeah, the weird like hourglass shaped eyes. I'll see you around, brother. I'll see you seeing me around, brother.

Whatever that nods his head. He nods his head to Billy and tuck. We don't notice he bows on one leg. Back guys. Oh, I certainly notice and I bow also any really worked out being scratching every part of his body. Do you want some walnut shells for that? I'm okay. Thanks pal. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So you're trying to find a side entrance. Yeah, I'm going to discern reality. There we go, baby. Time to roll some dice. More dice. Holy God. Plus wisdom six. If someone wants to help. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Sick. I will aid by being taller than me. Yeah, I guess like holding them up. Yeah. Standard nine. Cool. Cool. Cool. All right. So you get one question from the list. What here is useful or valuable to me? So there is a service entrance. Basically people that go in and clean the place. There's a door. There's a door. So some you see a custodian like walk in the door and the door starts to swing shut and then get stuck and doesn't close all the way classic. Yeah. Yeah.

So the door is like both unlocked and openable. Okay. Put me down. I put him down. Okay. I run to the door and I put my finger and I'm like, we're going to go in this way. You guys figure in the crack. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Okay. We run up behind and we're like, great job. And I just opened the door. Yeah, I guess so. Wait, trap expert. Yeah, sure. Oh, smart. That's okay. Of course it is. Yeah. Fuck. Fuck. Plus dexterity. Well, six. I don't know. Yeah. All right. How are we going to aid with this?

Maybe like tuck is about to like swing the door wide open and being like, like stops. Great. Nice bond. Great. Cool. Seven. So you get one question from trap expert. Okay. So I know there's a custodian. What else is hidden here? There are uniforms for the custodial staff and the building. Yes. Because people, people of all races work in the deep ward. Like it's not just dwarves. Yeah. So the guy that you actually saw the custodian you saw going in was a human. So there are human sized ones.

You could probably rig up a baby sized. I don't know what tuck's going to do. There's orc size ones like orcs are big. Yeah. Seven feet tall and five feet. Yeah. But there's other barbarians. That's about. Well, no, I'm actually huge. Oh, really? Okay. Barbarian is a cultural thing, not a size. Yeah. Do you think that orcs are that big? I think orcs are like, yeah, seven feet like you. Yeah, I think they can be seven feet. I think it's still going to be quite tight on you. Sure.

Because you're the size of a king size bed. Yes. Booty shorts. Billy, something I totally forgot. What? You got to roll your fairy child for your hold. All right. So fairy child, you are a fairy, a nature spirit bound to material form. At the beginning of each day, roll plus charisma on a 10 plus hold five on seven to nine hold three and on a six minus hold one. Any unused points do not carry over and may be replenished each morning at sunrise.

At any time you may spend a point one for one for one of the following effects. Create a convincing illusion vanish from sight charm into an individual for a short while overcome your weakness momentarily switch to objects within view. Cool. Sick. Sick. So two to six plus charisma please seven seven, which means you get sorry. How much? Oh, a seven. I get three holds. Cool. So you have three hold to spend one to one on those effects whenever you choose to. You could do three magics. Yeah.

So is there anything that you want to use now or do you just want to hold on to him? I mean, I guess you guys are disguising right now. Cool. Yeah, they're basically items you can use whenever you want. So cool. So there are disguises kind of. Yeah. Tuck immediately starts putting on a disguise and I'm like it's nice that I don't have to kill someone for this one. You get the pants like Tuck still has the problem where they're long enough, but he's like busting like the calves.

The shirt doesn't close all the way. Like it's kind of a vest. He's dressed like a calendar of janitors. Yeah, like a sexy calendar janitor guys. How cool is this? Huh? I start spinning. Yeah. So and Billy's wearing a dwarf outfit. That's a little baggy on him because you're quite stocky. I have to roll up the arms, but I'm okay. Yeah. And Vig, you're looking fine. I look like an amazing janitor. Yeah, perfectly fit. You look like a janitor. You look like you were born to wear that uniform.

I was a housekeeper once. You look great. Thank you. Watch this. He grabs a mop. Perfect figure eight. Oh my God. I thought you were a janitor for a second. Technically, I am. It sounds like Billy's being sarcastic, but he's being genuine. Oh my God. I thought you were a janitor for a second. No, he's being genuine. Yeah. So you are in the council hall. Yeah. Tuck grabs one of the carts and he starts like wheeling through the hallways. Yeah. There's like surprisingly high quality.

Not surprisingly. It's the deep ward. There are very high quality lamps in here. So everything's lit basically like a government office building. What are the lamps made out of? Yeah. Can we take them? Can you tell me? They're made of the crystal from the magic crystal. The magic light crystals from Etienne Boggins' house. It's government, so it's really well funded. Yeah.

Tuck's about to take them and then Vig's like, because he was a janitor and he just lifts up the side of the cart and points to like boxes and boxes of spares. Oh, you got tons. Are there spare? Yeah, there would be spares. Crystals in the janitor. Yeah, sure. He puts three of those in his backpack. They're basically worthless in McCall. They're light bulbs. Great. I want him anyway. Okay. And they're useless to Billy now because his magic works totally different. I don't care. I want.

It doesn't matter. I want them. I just grab them. I distribute one to each. I'm imagining a soprano style situation where you're like, hey, we got a bunch of light bulbs fell off a truck. We're selling them for 10 cents on the dollar. Toilet paper is worth a lot in McCall. We take a bunch of those. Yeah. Wow. You still a bunch of light bulbs, but there's magic in these, but like not really kind of, but not really magic. Maybe they'll help Perel. That's what I'm thinking.

Yeah, I'm going to try and get Perel to try and swallow this. Grind it up and snort it. There's got to do something. Okay. Yeah. So you're in the building. What's your plan to look for one of those thingies code zone. Oh, codex codex. Yeah, this is what it is. A codex or one of the codices. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You have no idea where they are in this building. It's huge. Are there people around? Yeah, there's like there's a lunchroom. There's a lunchroom with a couple custodians.

There's a dwarf and somebody that looks like they have orcish blood, but they're not full work. Just like having a meal coffee or whatever. I walk in. I'm like, hey, it's our first day here. We're supposed to clean up a codex or a codice. Point back at Bill at billion big. Hello. Hi. Yeah. So do you know where the code zone is or whatever it is, wherever that is? We heard it's just right over there and things just raking this finger across the whole front of the room.

It's right in this direction. We were told it's over here somewhere. Okay. Two to six plus charisma. Six, seven, eight. Okay. Yeah. Oh, we don't. This is your first day. Yeah. Did somebody ask you to clean up a codex chamber? That's what the guy said. That's weird because we don't do that. Who does that? Nobody because it's basically their their room. They clean their own room. Oh, they don't move a lot. Have you seen a codex before? Honestly? No. Okay. Have you? What do they look like?

Yeah, they are really slow. Yeah, they speak very slowly and they don't move a whole lot. So they don't really create a lot of mess. I think one of the wanted towels or something. That's so weird. A turndown service. I don't know if they're going to let are you sure that you're in the right place and they're starting to get suspicious. Oh, I'm not sure. Is this the is this the the civil engineering tower and tucking thing are like what the fuck where did you learn that?

Where did he learn the words civil and engineering and tower and this? Okay, two d6 plus charisma from Billy. Oh God or or or or or or or you know, I'm going to use it for fun because I can hold. Yeah, you can make you can ingratiate yourself. Charming individual for a short while. Okay, so who you charming the one who seems suspicious. Yeah, and you see them their eyes like twinkle a little bit as the as your your fairy power takes hold of their their heart and mind.

And the custodians like, oh, okay. No, sorry. Sorry. You're totally you're in the wrong. You're in the wrong place. Oh, it's crazy. I'm sorry. No, that's totally fine. You're all so you're supposed to be working in the civil engineering town. Yeah, first day whoopsies. You know how it is. No, see this is this is civil works, not civil engineering. A lot of people get that wrong here. Come along. Come come with me. I'll get you where you need to go. Oh, let's go.

Okay, here we come following you coming with you now. And so this custodian who says that his name is Turpal is just like taking you through the back room or the back ways of like the council hall. Oh, cool. Just chatting you up. Yeah. So so you're all here for the first time. You're all starting today. Yeah. Yeah. Just got the job. What'd you do before this prisoners helping prisoners. Oh, good. Say fire. Oh, cool. Yeah. So yeah, helping prisoners. That's really cool.

Yeah, you know getting them rehabilitated. Yeah, that's awesome. That's like right. Where's Billy learning these vocabulary. Yeah. So you all worked in the prison together. Yeah, we were a team cool. They pay us one salary all three of us. Yeah, we only have to work a third of the time and then we can get side jobs. Yeah, while we're not at the prison working. You know what if it works for you, that sounds great. I wish I could only work a third of the time, right? Yeah, right.

That's hardly working. Yeah, totally. All right. Well, you know, you know, there's going to be a lot of new stuff, a lot of information. I'll hand you off to the civil engineering wing, but if you need any help settling in or meeting people, my name is Paul. Thanks to Paul and you get to a helpful you get to a room or you get to a corridor with a door that says civil engineering and to Paul like takes a key off his belt and like unlocks the door opens it. Here you go. Have a great night to Paul.

You too. You know, I didn't get your names. Oh, I'm Bill Bill I'm Vince Vince I'm Tacoma Dome Tacoma Dome. Don't worry about him. Okay. Well, you know, have a great first day and I'll see you all around. See you. Now if we see you first. Okay. Bye. Bye. Door closed. I turned to these. I'm like, sorry for all those weird lies. I got so thrown by seeing phantom fuck. That's okay buddy. Do you need a minute? No.

So you're in the civil engineering wing, which Billy knew about, which I think is hilarious. I didn't know. I just put I Billy was like, I just put some words together and got lucky. Yeah. Did you ever pal? Yeah. Yeah. So now you're here. What's your plan now? Find the codex. Okay. So just start creeping about. Yeah, I guess so. Discern realities. Yeah. Look out for. Yeah. Plus wisdom. Wisdom. Yeah. Seven. Okay. So you get one question. What should we be on the lookout for? Like a map, I guess.

Maybe like a like a, you know, those like here are the fire exit. You are here. Kind of map. Yeah. It's one of those. You find one of those like engraved into the wall. A map that is the layout of the chambers. And building. So you see that you're in a long service corridor that connects to a ventilation room, a heating room. They're two different rooms, a bunch of bathrooms, a gym. There's a gym in here. It's pretty nice. A lot of benefits. Tuck's gone. No. It's his week. How long are you?

No, he doesn't go. Quick 45. That's it. And you see, uh, through like council chambers, council hall, antechamber, you see far in the back, uh, into what looks like where the building melds into a cavern wall is codex chambers. So you kind of got, you've got the direction. You don't have to worry about that. Should we just go there? Yeah. It's the sort of thing like there's going to be people around. So you're going to have to maybe charm your way past or just sneak through.

Like, how are you getting through here without people paying attention to you? We're trying to look like janitors. Yeah. Okay. But they don't usually have genders in this part, do they? No, but I think that this could just be like a defy danger charisma where you're trying to like we're janitors and whoever rolls this, you're going to roll for everybody and you'll get a plus one because of the discern realities.

We're the new guys and they put us on cleaning the gym because it's a shitty stinky job. Yeah, totally. Yeah. So who's who's leaving it? I'll do it. All right. Tuck's leaving it plus one nine. Oh, nine plus one. Oh, there's a plus. One from the discern realities. Oh, fucking 10. All right. So you all just are real janitors about this. What's that look like? Tuck Tuck is smelling the air and he's good. P you. This smells bad. I wish everything smelled like cleaning solution.

Vang is picking out stuff from the garbage and putting recycling and he's undone his top button. Oh, yeah. Off a tuft of hair. Wow. A janitor. Billy. Billy already has a dirty face and he also took one of the toilet paper rolls like the big ones that you see in like government buildings and he's like carrying it on his back like tough day. Tough day in the office. I think this is indicative of the fact that all of us have almost never been indoors. Yeah, totally.

This is certainly not in government buildings and people are walking by like you see another custodian when Billy's like tough days like tell me about it and talks like P you. I wished everything smelled bad and it's the same guy and he goes tell me about and things like separating things into recycling with no hair and he points at the hair and he says tell me about this guy. What is his name? Hey man, what's up? My name is Vance. Tell me about my name's Vance to what? Tell me about it.

Well, it's a family name Vance being just realized that he stole Vance's other uniform says Vance on it crazy. We're the same size too. Well, see you later. Huh? Tell me about it and he just walks away down the hall. That guy's vibe was that he was also snuck in here too. Yes. It wasn't a job parallel heist. There was five Vance outfits by the front door. There are currently four different crimes taking place in this building. Six people named Vance are in this building right now. Oh my God.

That's amazing. That's really funny man and patrons for a hundred dollars a month. You can hear special games for each one of those crimes. Oh man, and it's called Vance's five already a patron paying a hundred dollars. Hey, this is coming right for you. Yeah, Claire, we're gonna make this podcast for you. Vance's Vance's five. I might cut this out. I just really like the idea of doing the like five stories that all intersect with you three just being like P you the dumbest of the five heists.

Oh man. Yeah, and you make it to this whereas the parts that you were in before were very service corridor. He like not too much ostentation. The corridor leading to the codices chambers is quite nice. Like the wall sconces have like that sort of dwarven many small shapes, making the whole there's one that kind of looks like what we would think of as like pixelated like it's tiny little cubes that make the shape. Wow, these are pretty.

Yeah, there's a lot of really intricate stuff and you get to the end of the hall and laid out in front of you are eight doors. Are they labeled? They are labeled. We discern realities. Well, I mean, you don't have to certain realities to read. Yeah, tuck takes out. Okay. Okay. So what would the eight codices be? These are basically they're the living equivalent of the city archives. So it would be like everything. Maybe they're eras. It would be like era. Oh, okay.

So not by subject, but by epoch. Oh, that'd be that's sick tight. Yeah. So like the first one is old and the new ones probably old, but not quite as definitely not as old as the first one. I'm going to say the first one says onyx cool and onyx.

Onyx makes sense in my head because I think that the Giants used a lot of black stone in their construction and their skin was like obsidian black and the fact that the orcs have gray skin is considered to be evidence of the diminishing of the the oraca fucking sick. Wow. Yeah. And orcs with darker skin are closer to the Giants. Yeah. Cool. Interesting. I don't know. No, that's a really interesting like older family. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Cool. The first one is onyx.

The second one is basalt. The third one is slate. The fourth one is shale. The fifth one is sandstone. Probably when the humans moved into the city of McCall. Oh, cool. The one after that is mantle. The seventh one is quartz and the eighth one is granite. I think granite is the youngest. Yeah, like the industrialization or the modernization. So that dwarves probably only like 200 years old. That probably knows where about old wells. I walk into that room. The door is locked. Oh, Billy. Yeah.

Pick it. Pick 10 plus dexterity 12. All right. I get. All right. That's a 12. So what do you pull out your little I do it. No problem. I have my pin. Oh, you still have the copper needle of the copper needle tracking us with those Billy. Okay. I'm going to get rid of it after this. You're like it's coming in handy pal. And you stick it in the lock and just click and the door is openable. Yeah, we open it. Cold air rushes out. Yeah.

And this one there's a lot more comforts like there's a nice bed in the corner. There's a shelf full of books. There's a bunch of glass music bottles and it's like runs over opens what it means. Immediately check his collection sitting in the middle of the room in a much more ritualized looking space is a checkered tile floor and a carved seat. But since this is quite a young dwarf relatively to the other codices granite is sitting at a desk in the corner reading a book. Oh, oh, sorry.

We should have knocked and you hear like a little bit of a stone on stone grinding. Yeah, as the dwarf turns his head is like hello. Hi, are you lost? No, we're janitors. I do not require janitary services today. Actually, if you have time, we have a few questions. Do you have an appointment? I was not made aware of any visitors. We don't but they just had an opening. This is highly unusual. They usually bring a herald an attendant. Do you have a sleep? Even it's a whole Billy.

Yeah, actually I do. Oh Billy can create a convincing illusion. Yeah, I pull like the name tag off my thing and I give it to him. So it looks like like a paper slip with the signature and stuff. Cool. So he takes the name tag and goes Oh Greg, or I see the fool. Very well. You can stay with me for a short while. Okay, thank you. You hear loud music start playing from the corner and he turns his head back towards talking goes please please do not touch that. I close it back up. Thank you.

I think it's boring music. Anyway, it's just violence. Those are the classics imported directly from the principalities the royal city of Kinos. Was that rock Monanoff that that was stone Monanoff. Yes. Thank you for noticing. So what is it that you require of me today? Do you know much about the wells in this city? I know everything that has happened in McCall in the last 200 years. We're specifically looking for the wells that have been covered up in around the lighthouse.

There were 14 wells that have fallen out of use in the last 200 years. Many for people falling in some for drying out cisterns one. I do not have a reason that it would be closed off. What's that one? That one is on the intersection of yes Ibis way and tourmaline crescent. Oh, so it's in the middle of a road. It is in the middle of the road. Yes. Is it paved over? I believe so. It says flag. So I believe that means that there was a flagstone placed over for some purpose. This is very unusual.

What sort of stones do you generally use for flagstones? Ah, you know one that would traditionally be quite sturdy like maybe granite or something like a granite. No kind of gestures in front of his own face. I would say to exercise caution. Should you be interested in investigating this well further? Why have you been in McCall long? I yeah, I'm I'm from here. Yes, but you moved here recently. Yes moved back recently. Yeah. Yeah, you could tell my accents different. I can it has changed.

Yeah, then you should know. Oh that that intersection is directly in the territory of the jackals. Who are they a rough bunch of extortionists. Some say paid killers not fun folks. Is there anything else you require from me? Do you know if any of the closed off wells have if they lead anywhere most were wells, but now that I think about it the one that I do not have reasoning for. Goes to a disused quartz mine on the edge of the Alcoa desert. It was closed after massive flooding. Many died.

I will not hesitate to say it's a dangerous dangerous place. Thank you. Cool. Thank you. You've been very helpful. Ah, this thing duty of a codex to inform. Thank you. I don't I don't know if we're supposed to give you a gift or anything, but I bow. Oh, I was. Thank you. And he bows his head from his seat. They being changed one of his light bulbs with his light bulb. Thank you.

That has been bothering me for a day so and tuck takes a music bottle from his backpack and he's like this is better than what you've been listening to slowly grabs it pops the top. What is it? It's speed metal, but it's made out of instruments that are just rocks. Okay. What's the name of the band slide? Landslide. Yeah. So he goes, he pops it. He listens and immediately goes a landslide second album on the rocks with which we crush. He's pretty good. I suppose. Yeah. Well, thank you very much.

Pop. I hope you have a fine day. What are your names? If you don't mind, I do not have you in my records thing thing. I'm tuck tuck Billy Billy. Where do you live? Just for we live with cash. Do you know him cash? I'll plates. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Of you know of the lower world plates. Yes. Yes. Wait lower ward. His parents are lower. I said see just now see it's not the word that he's turning into Antonio Ben kind of is he's supposed to be more of a Dracula. Yeah. Yes. I do know the old plates.

Are they fancy? Are they fancy? Folk? Are they wealthy? Yes. I knew there was something about how rich are they significantly but less so than they tell people cool. Tell me exactly how much money they have. He rattles off a number. I write that number down way too much like you're way more than you would expect cash to have but they also have significant debts to a centaur trading company. Cool. What's the name of that centaur trading company? Blackmail blackmail blackmail East Wind imports.

Oh cool. He's just writing stuff down. I should say I hope that you are not using this information for nefarious purposes. No we're planning a surprise party for him. His birthday is coming up. I don't believe you. In six months? No. Within the next or last six months? No. Okay. We're going to blackmail him with this information. Just I hope you understand that I am at no legal responsibility as a codex. Fine yeah. This might be a weird time. Did we ask you your name?

I gave up my name when I became a codex. What was it? I cannot say. Why? That is the one thing that is erased from the records. Oh. Huh. That's interesting. The given names of all codices are forgotten. That was your sacrifice was your past. It is. My connection to my family such as they were. Well wherever they are I'm sure they're proud of you. They are not. Oh. Shit fuck. Hey but look at this. Pretty cool. I guess so. I mean yeah it's a job. I serve my people.

Do you want us to get a message out for you? Tell anyone anything? So his family is not not proud of him because he is a codex because that's it's service to your community. That's like the highest thing. I think that he has he had a lover that he had to leave and as much as they wanted to be like cool that's great that you're becoming a codex. They were like you're leaving me to become a codex. That sucks.

So I think he says if you find yourself in the vicinity of the hibiscus tea house in the alabaster district of the deep ward you can tell Veranda that he is sorry and he loves you very much. Okay. We will. We'll deliver the message. Thank you. Thank you. And you see he's got this kind of far off look in his eye a little bit. I appreciate you coming today. I hope that I helped you. I hope that you do not run afoul of any forces due to my information. You either. Oh I will not.

Well I suppose you need to go get back to cleaning or something. Yep. That's right. Yeah. That's him winking. Do you need this toilet paper? You could leave some. Yes. Okay. Thank you. Is it sandpaper? Sandpaper. He just grinds away at his asshole. Jesus. No he's only kind of rocky. He's young enough. You should fucking see Onyx. Yeah. Just a lump of stone with a mouth. Hey Granite what does Onyx's room look like? I would not go in there. Really? That is to be my faith one day. Oh no.

He's basically a damp little cave with a damp old man. I'm sorry. No he's an incredible asset to the city. His memory goes back millennia. Oh my god. We should see him one day. But he's a real dink. Real dink. Acts like he's better than me just because he's older. At some point I will be as old as he is now. Like he's the only one getting older. Yeah? Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Hammer and tongs. Well I will go back to my reading now. Okay. And I will bid you adieu.

That's right I speak French from earth. Farewell. Farewell. Bye. We leave. Take care. He turns back to his book. And you kind of you did it. You got some information. I feel sad now. Oh no he's like. It's okay. I mean he misses his love but he's he is genuinely very pleased to be this like asset to his life. To his people. And he's pleased that he's getting a message out. Yeah exactly. They're gonna maybe maybe it'll be the start of a correspondence. Which is I think why he helped us at all.

Yeah. Good chance. When Billy says that he feels sad we're like well I don't know. Life is kind of like loving people and then losing them. It doesn't make it worse that you Well at least you're not gonna live forever like that guy Billy. Yeah I am. Shit. I know more than you guys do. It's just hard to sort it out. There's just a lot in there. I've lost so many dads. Storm away. Okay we gotta do something about that.

I'm gonna ask you all to roll me one roll of some kind to get out of this building. I guess we're just gonna try and fake our way out the way we came. Alright. 2d6 plus charisma. Doug's gonna try and like just whistle nonchalantly. Seven. Eight. Nine. Oh. I'll help. Frick. Sorry. It was five. Yeah. I mean you still got a nine. Yeah. That's great. How'd you help? Yeah. How did Billy try to help? Um Billy tried to help by being like excuse me every or no no. No that's stupid. Excuse me everyone.

Look at my dad whistling so nonchalantly. I mean my co-worker. My co-worker. I'm a janitor. Who? Billy. He tried to help by nonchalantly like taking off his like like uniform be like long day. Long day. Wasn't it everyone? I'm doing his shirt. Oh man. So you still get out because it is a seven to nine but I think you see somebody in another service corridor another custodian like whispering to somebody that has like a truncheon at their side that must be security. Is it like security? No.

It's just like council hall security. It's a dwarf with a club at their side and they're like what is this? And they start kind of following you. We run faster I guess. We start whistling faster and faster. Yeah. We whistle faster and start like scooting fast. That kind of half run where you're trying to pretend not to run but you're running. Yeah. Turkey walk speed walk. Yeah. Yeah.

Thing was twirling his keys trying to act really casual but he's spinning them like Billy's holding onto the cart just like check. Can't walk this fast. No. Oh no. Miming legs above the ground. So I think it's kind of so the failure and the seven to nine are sort of a cascading alert. So it's like the security guard follows you and you start hustling and the security guard starts hustling and it's like what is going on?

And then you get out the door and you start hustling down an alleyway and the guard goes right to a light guard and like points shit and the light guard turns and looks and starts following you fucking run. Yeah. Right bolt bolt bolt. Oh, I have a fucking I have one more hold. Oh, am I able to apply any of these to like all of us? It depends on what you're asking vanish from sight. Nope.

That's just Billy create a convincing illusion in my mind would be like the three of you running in a different direction. Yeah, I think that was the other thing I was gonna ask. Okay, cool. Then yes, that is possible. I would like to do that. Okay. I mean you're using a hold so I'm just gonna let it happen. Okay like you're all running away and Billy's like whoop and it looks. Looks like our shadows run down. Yeah.

Yeah totally you start running down the alleyway Billy's illusion goes down an alley behind the council hall and the light guard follows after it and we court we sort of the camera rises up above the streets of the deep ward. We see the three of you disappear into the shadows in an alley. We see a goat stomping the shit out of a guy in the front of the building. Oh no we see a very angry custodian stomping his feet and twirling his truncheon like an old-timey cop.

And we guys named Vance run down. All right, the other one five five groups of criminals burst out of five different five. Sorry four groups of criminals burst out of four different doors all at the same time all with guards following them all fall running to light guards and all disappearing down alleys as the light guard follows them and we see the credits start to roll on this episode of Vance's five see you next time people for Vance's six. And this one Julia Roberts comes back.

We'll see you next week everybody. I've been your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as Tacoma Dome the Barbarian Abdul Aziz so long playing Ving the half-elf druid Paul Oppers. Take care and playing fat Billy the halfling thief Jessica tie. Good night. Thanks to Aaron read for our incredible intro and outro music and thank you to all of our amazing supporters the world over for following us online at Spout Lore most places including patreon.com by everybody.

See you next time and so ends the adventures three who tried the best they can dumb and scared and lost maybe for times abreast in and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution and we will not return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly Spout Lore

Let's listen to the theme music. Theme music. Brand new theme song for a brand new season. Ready? Here it is. Three, two, one. Welcome to McCall. We're gonna have a ball. I'm not so good at songs, but welcome. Welcome to McCall. Pretty good. I love that you said you're not good at songs right after you just rhymed. You just badass rhymed a song. I'm not so good at songs, but hey, welcome to McCall. Boom, boom, boom. That's the McCall national anthem.

Yeah, Jessica's doing a dance move that is like, you see it in like 80s music videos that happen in malls. Which was what one? Boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom. Crust it. A bunch of other stuff. McCall. Most of the McCall national anthem is visual. It's pretty confusing for people. Because the dwarves are very like… Yeah. They're very… They're kind of… You know how bumblebees communicate through dance? Dwarves do. Oh. I like that they have a lot of big dance nights, though. Oh, yeah.

That's where things go. Yeah. We work hard. We play hard. Yeah, exactly. We got blood feet tonight. Yeah! Oh. Gather round, friends. Let me tell you a tale of three heroes, noble and bold. A brute, a druid, and a thief. Who is but nine years old. You know them by name. You know them by deed. Their quests are famously daring. So here I sit, singing to you an adventure that is worth sharing. Tuck is the brute. He knows not his home. He loves to sing and fight.

Fingers half-elf, he shifts his shape and wields a spear with great might. Billy's a thief. His tiny size does mask the largest heart. Best and brightest, they may not be, but their friendship outweighs their smartness. So gather round, friends, and listen close. For the tale's about to start. There were dice in that as well. Wow. What a way to start. Good day. Good day. Good eye. Good eye, everyone. Season seven. We're all Australian now. We're losing our minds. Welcome to Spellt Lore.

I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Tacoma in the Dome. The Barbarian, Abdul Aziz. Hello, everybody. Playing Ving, the half-elf druid, Paul Oppers. Hello. Playing Fat Billy, the halfling thief, Jessica Tai. Hello. When last we left our heroes. The season ended on a pretty tense note.

You arrived at the eye of the storm, which you discovered to be both a confluence of spiritual and thalmic energy, as well as the tomb of the moon goddess, Lillian, wife of Chimes, the patron of sailors. Perel was pressed to leave the island, but he was able to get out of it. He was able to get out of it, but he was also forced to leave the island. He was forced to leave the island, but he was also forced to leave the island.

He was forced to leave the island, but he was also forced to leave the island. You arrived at the eye of the storm, which you discovered to be both a confluence of spiritual and thalmic energy, as well as the tomb of the moon goddess, Lillian, wife of Chimes, the patron of sailors. Perel was present under the influence of the water monster, whose name we never had a chance to introduce. But it's not Pissmonster. No, it's not.

I was actually going to write a tweet that was like, sometimes I think about how I came up with a villain that was the disembodied ambition of a water monster.

Of a wizard that lives inside magically charged water that it uses to possess and destroy people and a throwaway joke had it named the piss monster for three years isn't it named pilar it is named pilar thank you jessica because that is a name I accidentally originally named perel before switching to perel for some reason I think we just forgot and then we had to think of it again we were like it was like perel the hand sanitizer right yeah but yeah so the water monster was had called itself perel that was the name that it gave itself uh I mean pilar see this is how it happened the first time it's fine it's more of an evil sounding name than perel yeah it sounds a lot nicer than pilar pilar's like saruman yeah yeah totally where a sauron is like really nice sounding gandalf we all know we've all read the lord all been yeah the lord of the rings trilogy we know it there's the for the the friendship of the ring the twin towers you and then return of the mac that's it okay at the tower the tomb of lillian we discovered that the water monster was possessing perel's body in an attempt to release lillian for some dark purpose but because of the things that we introduced and things I didn't consider while we were introducing them the water monster was unsuccessful because it was near impossible to get rid of the water monster and because of the fact that the woman possessed a woman possessed a woman possessed a woman this water and oil thing that made it almost impossible for them to do what they needed to do just like how pearl couldn't cast spells in spirit world exactly ving uh shape-shifted into a thunderbird to talk to the king of the thunderbirds ship breaker into helping them defeat whatever was going on which ended up kind of successful but kind of not in that ship breaker decided to destroy the top of the pillar while also going out to destroy many more places in the world which we haven't found out about yet yeah there's probably stories coming in from sailors that are like it is really bad out there right now who did that who did that there was um a town here I think it's not there anymore it's just glass now where are the people billy in such close contact to spiritual energy started taking on his fairy form and began to forget his life as billy and ving and billy had a really nice kind of spiritual buddy cop scenario they were working on where they yeah ving shape-shifted into the storm right into lightning into lightning a pure bolt of magic lightning which billy then used he guided with like this spiritual core of the axe yeah the axe good yeah I conducted with the axe and then I I was a a a a a a a a a a a Bring it to Tuck.

You destroyed the Bullywugs with it. I remember that. You destroyed all the Bullywugs that Pilar had brought with him. Tuck threw down with the water wizard, who without access to the magics that he was used to, was just transmuting the air into harder air, basically making a hammer out of wind.

While Ving and Billy found the spirit of Perel pushed out of the water monster's body, well, his own body by the water monster, and helped him get back into the body after Tuck finally once and for all severed the connection the water monster had to Perel's body. Yeah, it killed him. And I said that prayer at the end. Right, invoked the killer. The patron of killers. Because it was an execution. Yeah. Because Tuck doesn't usually kill people.

Yeah, Tuck is more like, I'm fighting to defend someone, or I'm fighting because I'm mad. I want to break something, not kill somebody. Yeah. But this force had to leave the world. Yeah. And then after that we went outside and the storm had stopped. At least. And we debated. And you'd seen, you saw the coronet ringing the last remaining moon of the planet. And that is where we ended.

And since then, it has been four months, and you three, for the last season, have been living in the ancient city of McCall. We have arrived in Tuck's homeland. You guys get to see all the bars I got kicked out of as a kid. Abdul will show you the map of McCall that he came up with. Yeah. And we'll broadly talk about the neighborhoods so we have a rough idea of where things are. All right. So the city is broken up into two above-ground regions.

There's the upper ward, which is where the old city used to be. So this is the old dock city. And then down below, there's the lower ward. And that's where all the rich people live because it's closest to the water.

And also, the rich in McCall, we were thinking, would be kind of like the religious right in America, where it's like they're also living down there because they're like, we live close to the god of the flame who's rumored to live in the middle of the broken shores, which is the salt flats. So there are two broad regions of the upper ward. There's cliffside because it's like where the bay used to be and then it drops down underneath.

And like right on the edge of cliffside, there's a neighborhood called the stilts because the cliff is eroding. So all of the roads are wooden and all the houses are on stilts to keep them from falling down. And every few years, there's like a collapse basically. That's why. Like all the poor people live there. And then as you get further out closer to the desert, you get kind of nicer and nicer. This is like sort of the suburbs out here.

And this is called Stepside, like the kind of more suburban neighborhood. So there's cliffside and Stepside and there's the upper ward and the lower ward. And then there's where the dwarves live, which is what we established with Brent, which is underground. And that's the deep ward. So there's three major parts of the city. But I bet there are stairs down to the lower ward.

But when you get down to the lower ward, the light guards, like if you're from the upper ward, they're like, what are you doing here? What the fuck are you doing? They just follow you around. You're not really welcome there if you're from cliffside. Is there anything else important? What else? So the reason McCall exists in the first place is that the lighthouse and the steps that give Stepside the name were built by like an empire of giants that have long since disappeared.

And those are the giants that orcs believe that they're descended from. Like the orc culture is the god of the flame went to war with these giants, defeated them, and were what's left. Yeah. And that's why the tallow road is so wide. It's like a really wide road because it was originally built by the giants. And that's why the city, the lighthouse is much bigger than it should be. Way too big. And it actually goes down to the bottom of the bay. It's the only stable part of cliffside. Yeah. Okay.

So a lot of people build onto it. It's built out of the cliffside? Oh, maybe. Like it's the same stone. As the cliffside? Maybe. Yeah. It could be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the tallow road is named after… Oh, I had no idea. I had an idea for this, actually. I had an idea, too. Okay. Well, you tell me your idea. No, I want to hear both. Was it about candles? Yeah. Yeah, because that was my idea, too. And they brought it in from the port because that's where they would have harvested the…

Oh, my… The giants would have harvested the fat from the giant sea serpents and then brought it in. Oh, yeah. And so the tallow road is named for the fact that it brought candles into the city. Oh. That's so sick. And the horse… And for lamp oil. And candles would be so important in McCall because of all the underground… Yeah. Yeah. And the god of the flame. So there's a religious element to how much they like candles.

Culturally, the dwarves in the Deep Ward are much different than the people up top because they're all basically socialists. They're very pro-union. They think that labor should be protected, workers should be protected, and they care for their community. Like, the people that can work provide for the people that can't work. Everybody's taken care of. Because, actually, Jessica and I were talking about this.

They would consider the craftsmanship put into their society the same as the craftsmanship they put into their work. Yeah. So, like, having a sturdy, well-made society is just… Just as important to them as, like, making good things. Are the dwarves the keepers of the great gravy as well? Of the great gravy? Maybe, because, I mean, like, they take care of the poor as well. And I actually imagine that the poor from up top can come down and, like, get food.

Maybe there's, like, gravy houses where it's just they have really high-quality food they're always making. I wonder how many of those Billy's been banned from so far. Look, we take care of everybody, but there's a line. Come on. You gotta stop. There's a little statue that they pass around that, like, do not let this boy in. Do not, sir. Yeah, and then I'm, like, coming in with all my disguises and they're like, Billy, you gotta stop.

Like, they're really nice to me, but they're like, this is for people who need it. I'm like, but you don't get it. I need it, too. Yeah, they call him Billy the Bottomless Pit. There's a little statue that they pass around to show Billy which one he's allowed to go to. They go, oh, there it is. There's, like, a rumor where they're, like, when they're talking about it, they're like, I heard he out-ate a bear at the Bear in the Chair. It was fucked. The bear got depressed and also got diabetes.

He kind of indirectly killed it when you think about it. Yeah, so that's the basics of McCall. So you've been living here for a few months. Where do you live in McCall? What neighborhood? It's a middle-class neighborhood. But it's on the edge of the stilts. Yeah. Or what the folks call the sticks. So you still live in the Cliffside neighborhood. Which is the poorer area of McCall's upper ward. We're going to post a whole map and explanation of the city of McCall.

But not in the absolute worst part of the city. No. No. No, yeah. Kind of like a sort of a trendy up-and-coming area that used to be pretty rough. Yeah. It's not fully gentrified, but it's still cool. A lot of artists in this part of town. So, like, the Chinatown of McCall? Yeah. But rich people are starting to move in. Yeah, kind of. But you can still kind of find, like, a lot of people who are like, nice apartments if you really dig deep. Yeah. Yeah.

And you are living in a two-bedroom apartment. Like, you know, a pretty regular stone, sandstone building, like the most places in McCall are made out of. You have a roommate. His name is… Oh, my God. Isn't it Plates? No. Casual Plates. Casual Plates. Yes. I hate this name so much. Okay, well, you wanted us to have a roommate and we want to name him Casual Plates. Yeah. So… And we call him Cash. Okay, Cash I'm fine with. Okay. Cash is a name. Maybe his middle name's Ool. Like, man, you will.

Cash Ool. Yeah, Cash Al. Al. Al because it's, like, Arabic. You know… Cash Al. Yeah. Plates. Cash Al Plates. All right, you know what? Casual Plates. We figured it out. That's a name. Casual Plates. I hated it. Cash Al Plates. I can make work. Okay. We've been harassing. We've been trying to show it on Discord for five months to name a character Casual Plates. I'm so relieved right now that we made it a real name. What was the steakhouse you drove by? It was, like, something… Big Mr. Mike's.

Wasn't it, like, Original Joe's? It was, like, an Original Joe's menu? It was Mr. Mike's. Mr. Mike's Steakhouse. Oh, Casual Steakhouse. Casual. That's the thing that didn't make any sense. It was Mr. Mike's Casual Steakhouse. Yeah. It was just like, why is that adjective in the name of this restaurant? Makes me want to eat their lunch. Less. Okay. So you live in a three-bedroom apartment with cash. Three. Two. Well, I mean, I assume… No. I assume…

We all share one room and Cash has one room to himself. All right. We have the small room, too. It's cheaper that way. Because we're paying the small portion of the rent. Yeah. We split rent two ways, Billy. You can live for free. But you know what? Thankfully, it is top floor. There's only two floors, but you're in the top floor. That's not bad. So that's nice. You kind of have a roof that I imagine Ving makes pretty good use of meditative-wise. And Cash, Cash is a totally normal guy.

And you guys have had a real problem with that. Because you're like weird, adventuring, creeps, freaks. And he like works for the city. He's just like a clerk. He does paperwork. To put it not too fine a point on it, he hates you guys. Whose name is on the lease? It's Cash. It's Cash's place. And the kind of thing that's like, oh man, he's a nice enough guy, but like his parents did buy this place for him. Oh, he… Owns it. He owns it. Holy shit. He owns his apartment.

It's not really nice, but his parents did pay for it. And he kind of acts like a dink about it sometimes. But he does need the money because he doesn't get paid very much. And also because he had a girlfriend, but she dumped him a few months ago. And he need a roommate. So his girlfriend lived in the other room? No, they… It was their office. It was her crafting room. Yeah. They're doing work from home stuff. She did pottery. She had a pottery studio and he honestly loved…

They spent too much time in his apartment. If she had… If she had an office or a pottery barn off site, that would have been way better for the relationship. So he's sad and mad. And he works from the city and he comes home and like Billy has like, you know, done whatever Billy does in a one… In a living room. Yeah, cleaned out his side of the fridge. Yeah. Ving has like weird plants in jars all over the place. Tuck is just mostly nude all the time. I put the flap back down.

I was airing it out, man. God. You were… You expected to live in… In this… The confines of this flap all the time? In a common space like the living room? Yes. I do. Put it away. Flip. But something I want to know is what each of you have been up to since you've been in McCall for the last like three, four months. Start with Tuck. I'm working as a bouncer at a punk bar. What's the bar called? It's called Barbarian. Yep. That's what it is. The bar? It was the first one to come up with that.

I didn't… Oh. Maybe it's just called The Bar. Yeah. And people that like that kind of music are called Barbarians because all those shows took place at The Bar. Yeah. And it's a really old… Like, it's like, you know when you go to Germany and there's like punk bars that used to be like churches? Yeah. It's just like 400 years old. All the other buildings are built above ground but this one's carved out of the floor. Yeah. Out of the ground.

And it's actually a huge place because it's from when the city was a giant city. Oh, I bet one of the walls is like one of the foundational walls of the Tallow Road. Oh, yeah. Totally. Which is that main road that goes from McCall and connects it to the ocean. Yeah. It connects to the current bay. Yeah. That's awesome. So one of the walls is just underground is just ancient bricks. Yeah. Huge. Yeah, giant stones. Fucking massive, giant like flagstones. Cool.

And it's like, I don't know if you've ever been in the Biltmore. It's kind of like that vibe where it's like low ceiling, goes really far in. Yeah. Cool. That's really cool. Yeah. I get paid an hourly, but I do get dental. Nice. That's strange for a bar. I know. Yeah. But I guess they just have a good dental plan. Well, I guess we have talked about how McCall is very unionized. It's super socialist. So even if you are contract work, you can get good benefits. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. That's great.

That's how fucked up our actual world is, is that we put benefits into the setting of our fantasy world. And we're all like, wow, wow. This is a really cool thing. Even if you have kind of like a weird part time job, you're not at constant danger of becoming homeless, becoming broke or dead. Yeah. Cool. And during the night, he just like watch a show. I guess he probably works at night. Yeah. He works mostly at night. Yeah. He's just at the door most of the time. Yeah.

He watches shows for bands that he likes. Cool. He'll like duck in and he'll put a trench coat around a rock. He'll put it there. Honestly, it's fine. Nobody tries to start shit. If anybody does try to start shit in a bar like this, they quickly regret it. Bar is kind of like a sort of safe zone between different, like it's like dwarves that go there, orcs go there, humans go there. Even people who live down in the rich neighborhood in the lower ward are like allowed to go there.

And it's like, you don't fuck with people at bar. Yeah. Yeah. Sick. What's my boss's name? Something with a G. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. Greg. The orc. What can be Greg? Greg. Greg. Greg. The orc. Okay. Yeah. He's missing a tusk. Yeah. Cool. He's just got the one tusk, but it's like carved. It's a very elaborately carved tusk. Nice. Yeah. He's like older. He's like an old punk, basically. He's like in his 50s. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Grizzled. Huge holes in his ears. Whoa. Yeah. He doesn't wear those things anymore, but his earlobes just droop a lot. Sick. Yeah. Cool. What's Vang been up to? He does outreach with the dwarves. Yeah? Yeah. Cool. What does that look like? He works night shifts. Dwarves are all underground and they're very socialist and they take care of their own and they kind of take care of other people too than poor, but they are mostly underground is what we talked about. Yeah.

They live in the neighborhood called the Deep Ward. Yeah. So he's kind of like a go between the Deep Ward and some of the Upper Wards. Oh, I see. You do outreach to people like the people who need it in the Upper Ward. Yeah, in the sticks. Yeah. Cool. And you and I were talking about it. Vang's had a pretty rough time after the Eye of the Storm and since coming to McCall. Yeah? Oh, yeah. Totally. Yeah. Totally. So let's talk about that a little bit. Oh, God. Okay. What do you want to know?

Well, I mean, I think the biggest thing… No more shape-shifting. Vang cannot shape-shift anymore. He broke his shape-shift. So what has led to Vang not having access to shape-shifting anymore? Well, in order, in order to become the elementalist, he has sacrificed his ability to shape-shift and to take on the forms. Also, he's a vegetarian. He went that too. He's doing that. He's just kind of like, I can't take advantage of other beings.

It's like, he was concentrating on the lower levels of spirituality. The things, the creatures that walk on the earth and spending his time with that and feeling bad about that and now seeing that he was taking advantage of that, he has given up that level that walks on the earth and is into the broader spirituality with the spirit of fire, the spirit of air, the spirit of water. Awesome. Sick.

Yeah, and also he had a real hard time with it because his mom, right, she's a human druid and he felt like he was giving up on that but he also had to let go of that part of his past too. Yeah, that's a huge sacrifice. Wow. Okay. Cool. Yeah, that's really cool. And he's also been studying martial arts which he calls Vinci. Yeah.

And he's been coming up with his own thing and he always, he has a set workout schedule and he always makes sure he goes to that at six o'clock in the morning after he's done his shift doing outreach. So, Vin's just shredded now. Yeah, he's getting pretty shredded. At least after like three months of working out. Sinu shredded. Yeah. Yeah, like dried steak. Just up on the roof like stripped to the waist doing martial arts forms. Yeah. Yeah. You can see his eight pack from the street.

I mean, it's only two floors. It's not that impressive, but. It's pretty impressive. Still cool. Still pretty cool. I feel like Vin is like, when he showed up, he's like that mysterious stranger and all the women were like, ooh. And then now, everyone's just like, holy fuck, that guy's so hot. And a little weird. Very strange. Moss arm. Yeah. Gills. Some kind of monster man. Yeah, so he's really holding his own form wise. Oh. Pretty sweet.

And we're going to release a character creation episode that explains all of the new class changes. So everybody's on the same page because everybody is a completely different class now. So what's Billy been up to in his time in McCall? He goes out at night after Tuck and Ving thinks he's gone to bed. So they tuck him in like a night. He plays like a night, but he goes out and he goes underground to play with like the other thieves in the city, like kid thieves. Cool.

There's a lot of like orphans who like have had to band together. So he'll like play with them or help them out. Sometimes. And it's also like nice and cool underground and he gets to adventure. And then in the daytime, he comes back. He follows Ving back home, but Ving doesn't know. And when Ving goes upstairs on the roof to do his exercise, Billy goes in the fridge, like the icebox and goes to sleep. In the icebox. That's great.

I was going to say that Cash probably doesn't mind living with you all actually because you're gone during the night. But he would probably mind finding Billy in the icebox every morning. But I tell him, I'm like, look, I'm really fat and I don't do well in this heat. And look at my rosacea. It's just so bad. It's the only place I can be comfortable. That's so cute. I love it. Can you give me a name of like one of the orphan thieves that Billy hangs out with? Sure. His name is Kevin. Okay.

Kevin the thief. Oh my God. We're back. We're back, baby. Season seven. There's another thief. A thief named Bethany that I also play with and they're brother and sister and they're about my age, like human life. Billy's still a million years old. What do we do? Well, at first, Billy just like was hanging out mostly for like the fresh air and then like came across these like ragamuffins who they're like, are you another one of us? Like, are you a new one?

And I'm like, yeah, because I didn't know what they're asking. I like that ragamuffin is shorthanded. For like street child. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, I'm also a ragamuffin and they're like, where are your parents? I'm like, I don't know. And they're like, nice. You're in. Yeah. Story checks out. And that was truthful because Billy actually didn't know where we were at that exact moment. Exactly. Yeah. I don't know. Work. Yeah.

So we mostly spend our time like stealing food or clothes and stuff like that. Rooting through like dumpsters, figuring out which ones are our favorite. Yeah. We also play games like we dare each other to go to the water tower to get like the cleanest water from the rich people zone. Nice. Billy's really good at it. Pretty good. Yeah. That's cool. Such a sick kid dare. Yeah.

And then Billy also sometimes teaches them like some tips and tricks, but they can't do it really well because Billy realized that it's like his fairiness. So he uses his binocs to help them. Stuff like that. Oh, and I like that the other kids have taken to doing that. Yeah. Because like it works for Billy. So like, yeah, it works for me too. Yeah. Yeah. That's so cool. Have you guys come across any Afrit? Oh, what do Afrit look like again? They're like. Little shadow demons. Yeah.

They're like made of like shadow and night and they're demons of malice that come out and hunt the urchin kids at night. Yeah. Yeah. Billy sees them all the time. Really? Yeah. Do you see them when other people don't? Yeah. Whoa. Cool. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. Maybe connected to some changes that Billy's undergone lately. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Which we will elaborate in the season seven character creation episode. That's so sick. That's really cool. Have you had to fight any of them?

I never have to fight them. Because you just avoid them. No. Oh. Whoa. They avoid you. Whoa. They avoid Bill. Holy shit. Fuck. That's so sick. That's exciting. That's also sick for like Tuck if he knew it. He doesn't know. But if he did because when he was an urchin he was like. Terrified. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of still is. Billy just talks to the Afrit. Whoa. Whoa. Fuck. Guys. I'm so excited for season seven. I'm so excited too. I'm so excited. So excited. Cool. Okay. Yeah.

So that would be actually so Billy's out and sees Afrit and stuff like that. So something that you would all have realized at this point after living here for a few months is the light guard in McCall are much more prevalent. They're basically the police force of McCall. I think the torches light guard are like an elite force. Basically. They probably have some stupid name like the immolators or something like that. Such fucking deep shit. Yeah.

So yeah, they're basically the FBI to the regular light guards beat cops. Do they have powers? Who can say? Fuck. Not as much as the torch in McCall. The torch in McCall is well known for being like able to command fire, which is insane to people. I want to know how we got from like who picked us up. How do we got here? I guess. Oh, I think Chimes probably Chimes took us all the way. It's like, just come Chives. I don't want to ignore that. I'm Chives. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Yes. Yes.

So I don't think you necessarily went to McCall right away. No, but something that you learned after you defeated Pilar at the eye of the storm is it was a couple weeks. Everything was fine. At first, Perel started acting really sullen and weird and it seemed like he was hiding something and then he came to you thing one night and he explained that he is unable to perform magic. Now. Whoa.

He doesn't know why, but, but he thinks that during the fight, something in him was severed and he can't cast spells anymore. Oh, and he, he's scared and he thinks that if there was a place where he would be able to find out what's wrong with him and what he can do about it, it would be the Margani library. Oh, that makes so much more sense. Great. Great. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So that's why we're here then. Yes. Okay. I guess you guys agreed.

You're like, yeah, dude, we'll help you. Yeah. We don't give a shit about anything. I mean, if there is one precedent in this group, it's that you care about your friends more than the world. And of course, our $5 a day per diem. So you owe us $5 a day to take you to fucking McCall, man. Also the endless gravy that you two promised me. So yeah, we need that five coin a day so we can buy that fucking gravy for Billy. Yeah. Is that a cool hook? Yeah. Yeah.

Perel is magic list and he wants to get into the library. Actually, I thought like I'd forgotten until now, but I was in my head a while ago. I was like, oh, we're going for the library. Well, what I was going to say is that the reason that you're still here is that Perel has been unable to gain access to the library and he's trying really hard, but it's like every day he doesn't live with you guys. I don't think. Where does he live? He probably has his own place with what money?

I mean, like he's not going to live in the same room as all of you. That's not going to happen. Maybe he came to look at the rental. He's like, guys, I thought this was two bedrooms and we're like, yeah, but like cash lives in the other one. He's like, I'm going to get my own place. Yeah. All three of you are living in this room. Yes, you can have your own place with us in this room. Yeah, there's four corners. Yeah, I mean, four of us, there's four of us in four corners.

Let me look something up. That's such a funny kid thing. Something to consider is being adventurers who have traveled the worldwide. You have a shit ton of money. You have more money than some people will ever see in their lives. I think we don't. We haven't clued into the fact that we're rich though. No, but what I'm saying is that you have a decent amount of money. So, Perel, Perel is probably like, can I have a little bit of that money? You're going to buy stupid fucking clothes with it.

No way. You know, he just, I'm saying that he probably has like a quote unquote studio apartment really close by. Oh, cool. Yeah. Yeah. So, it's maybe like even in the same block of buildings. I can imagine him being like, all right, guys, I finished decorating the place. Come take a look. And he just has his old robe pinned to the wall and he's like, what do you think? Hand drawn pictures of frogs everywhere. Don't look at those.

But he also has a gallery of hats and we were like, you used some of the money for hats? Well, I was lucky enough to find a cheap apartment. What? Do I not get a per diem? Yeah. So, Perel lives nearby. He's been trying to get into the library. They're very secretive, very insular. Why? Well, how does he try? I think he's trying to join. Like, he's trying to become a librarian. You have to become a librarian to get into the library.

I think they have a public section, which is like books on botany, books on how to brew beer. Golf digest. We did go one time and there was like a whole row of shelves that were golf digest and then also another row of shelves that were love and lust. And like a whole section of mud affairs that you can't rifle through them because of their porn. I challenge the three of you to come up with another book. Okay. Okay. There is not an entire shelf of love and lust.

One, because that's one title from one book. Golf affairs. Mud weekly. Love and mud. Mud digest. You guys. The farm, the summer, and the beat. There we go. It's a children's book. Yeah. Oh, fun. Yeah. That's cute. Yeah. Halfling wrote it. Billy likes the children's books. He can't read them, but he likes looking at them. It's a pop-up. Yeah. So there's like a public section of the Morgani library that's very sanitized. There's no controversial information. There's no super complicated texts.

And Perel's like, I gotta get into that restricted stuff. I have to. There's tension between the light guard and the librarians, right? Yeah. The light guard under the command of the torch of McCall, which is a surprisingly long time, is much more militant in their hatred of demons as they've been in the past because McCall was a pretty cosmopolitan place for a long time. And there just were demons in the city. And it sucks. Like if we were a problem, absolutely. They killed people.

But like, you know, you could just have a demon of music who lives like down the street and he's totally fine. He's a music teacher, actually. Yeah, exactly. Everybody loves him. He's a facet of the community. But over the last 40, 50 years, it's become like demons are a threat to your safety. They've been demonized. Exactly. Yeah. They're a threat to this city. There's see something, say something posters around. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Block watch. Totally.

People report on their neighbors and they're like, they're a demon for sure. And I bet the library, like what they have available for the public is so sanitized because they are trying to avoid tensions with the light guard. Totally. Yeah. Because the light guard is like, you're hiding something like they believe that the librarians are hiding something, whether it's information. There are rumors that it's actual demons.

When the light guard worship the God of Flame in the library is burned down so much. There's tons of tension there. But I'll bet that it was the fucking light guard. Totally. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Totally. Down the library. And actually, there aren't really clear accounts of that last fire, but it said that the death toll on both sides was pretty high. But there hasn't been an assault on the Margani library in a long, long time. So do people, know it was an assault or is it like that might have been?

They say it was an assault, but they don't know. It's not clear who it was. So it was intentional. It wasn't accidental. Yes. Yeah. Because there was like a battle. Oh. And they were like, somebody burned down the library. We don't know who. Whoa. Yeah. And then that's when they moved into the salt mines. Yeah. So that's kind of the current climate in regards to that. Perel has had a lot of trouble over the last few months in his attempts to get restricted information from the library.

What were some of the attempts? What were some of the attempts? A fake mustache. A real mustache. A real mustache. He tried to grow a mustache. Yeah. It was wispy as fuck. We all made fun of him before. Yeah. Too bad you can't transmute that thing into more hair, eh, bud? So like, he's tried to join the librarians before and he's just been like soundly rejected because he's just not tough enough. Well, because the librarians are also the… They're a martial force, basically.

So like, the librarians are pretty intimidating. And the firefighters. They're pretty intimidating in town, aren't they? You said? Yeah, they fight fires. They organize firefighting forces as well. And so Perel is still in the process of trying to figure out. So he's failed the physical test. Yes. He's been working out too. And you won't let him live it down. Does he work out with Ving? Yeah. I think he's been trying. But he's kind of an older guy. He's like having trouble keeping up.

So that's where we are in the current timeline. We open on morning in your apartment. What does your apartment look like? It's like tiled floors and stone, mostly like walls and stuff. I imagine there's like awnings to keep the sun out. Totally. Oh, yeah. Definitely. I imagine the windows were like, you know, those like thick things that just let light in. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like thick glass blocks that you can't see through. But yeah, it's so tacky. Yeah.

But it's like kind of for heat sort of. It like keeps heat out and lets light in. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. And it's just like a morning, I guess, things on the roof exercising with Perel, who's huffing and puffing as he's trying to do pushups. Tuck is home from work. Yeah. He just got home. He's taking his classic long end of work shit and cash is trying to get into take ready for work. Yeah. And I think it is the kind of thing like I think and it's a long shit. Yeah.

He's like knocking on the door both time wise and physically. Yeah. Tacoma Tacoma just chill out for two seconds. I have to be at work in half an hour. Yeah, but I ate so many bergam fruits at work. So I'm busy clogging the toilet right now. I'm busy clogging the toilet. You know, it's going to happen in here. He just keeps rattling the doorknob and then he stomps away to his room. Billy is oh, I've burrito myself some for some reason I sleep in the icebox, but I still use my blue blanket. Yeah.

For comfort. Well, you know, when you have all the windows open on a winter day and you stay under the blankets so cozy. Yeah. So he's laying there on top of the apples and under the under the burritos under the burritos that touch brought home from the bar and under cash is lunchbox. Yeah. And there's Billy's just rustling around in the ice and then all of a sudden light floods the icebox and cash is standing there like good morning cash. Good morning, Billy. I'm just going to grab my lunch.

Of course. Do you want an apple? Just takes it out of your hand. He wipes it on his shirt. I already cleaned it and it's the nicest one. How much did you clean it? Well, I not with my tongue this time. Like you didn't like it when I licked it clean. So I just rubbed it on my blanket and he walks to the kitchen and he turns on the tap and starts washing it. I try so hard and you never like what I do. I just I got to go to work. I don't want to I'm not going to do this right now.

And he walks the door. He walks over and closes the icebox door and then you hear step step step door open slam. He didn't brush his teeth. That's a good point. He didn't have time. He has to walk. He works all the way in Stepside. So he has to like hustle. Oh, no, right. You said we live in Cliffside. I think you're maybe in that zone between Stepside and Cliffside. There's a lot of disagreement where the two neighborhoods start. It's like, oh, no, it's near. It's near this tea shop.

No, because if it's near that tea shop, I live in Cliffside and I do not live in Cliffside. Right. It's like that kind of thing. So we're like in one of the it's I guess Cliffside is sort of encroaching into Stepside with the gentrification that's sort of on the border. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

So he has to walk all the way to the city if he can't catch one of the trams in the underground and oh, yeah, because we talked about in the episode with Brent, there are trams in the Dwarven underground in the deep ward. So I imagine that there are like entry points for the trams above ground so people can take basically subways across the city because it's a very spread out city. It's sort of like underground mine rail cars. Yeah. Is what they used to be.

And then they were repurposed into trams. Yeah. Dwarves love reusing things. So cool. Yeah. They really love repurposing shit. I like them a lot. Yeah, me too. I love that we made a socialist race. Yeah. I wonder why we're so interested in socialism in our fantasy world. Cool. Yeah. So I think Perel is up there working out with you, Ving. And what's Ving's current exercise that he's doing? It's like a breathing exercise based on whatever animal's closest.

So there's a hummingbird that just came and was eating out of this flower nearby. So he's like, what's wrong, Perel? Can't keep up, old man? And he like, he basically just like falls back on his hands, like catches himself. He's just like, you're not going to get in the library like that. No, I'm not. Stop. Can you stop? Please, please, please stop. He does that hands down thing. Press the air out of him. It's useless, Ving. What? I'm not. I'm just not that kind of person.

What kind of person are you? I am a magician who can't wield magic. He takes his glasses off, which he was wearing while he was exercising, which is probably part of his discomfort. And he's like wiping them on a cloth. If they're not going to accept me like that, that's I'm not going to be able to get in. I won't be able to join the librarians. There's got to be another way in, though.

And he kind of his eyes widen and he jumps up to his feet and he runs down the stairs and he runs to the icebox and he opens the icebox and he looks at Billy. Billy. What? Billy. What? I'm sleeping. You want to help me steal something? Yeah. And I think we cut to the three of you crammed on like the living room couch and Perel standing in front of you with his hands clasped in front of him. It's a lazy boy. I'd like to thank you all for joining me. It's a single person. Yeah.

So I guess I'm sitting on the bottom and then being sitting on my lap and then Billy sitting on his. I was thinking Ving was probably sitting on the arm. I'm perched above Tuck's shoulders. My legs are coming over top of my shoulders. I'm sitting with my butt on the back. I actually I grabbed the ice. I grabbed the ice from the fridge and I'm sitting on it. In a bucket? Yeah. Oh, that's good. So that took a lot longer to get you all here than I would have liked.

This orientation was very confusing and it was kind of pointless. But I'd like to thank you all for joining me nonetheless. Thank you for having us. Yeah. Okay, let's just go around the room. I'm Tacoma Dome the Barbarian. I am Ving the Unknown. You're welcome for us being here. You are Perel. Oh my God. I'm not Perel. Maybe I shouldn't do this. Yeah. Why are we doing this? Why are we doing this? Okay. All right. All right. I would like the three of you to help me break into the Margani Library.

Yeah, I could do that. Yeah, I'm down. I'm sure. Yeah, of course. Really? Yeah. Yeah. You're a friend. I thought this was going to be a way harder sell. I'm so fucking bored at work. I honestly haven't done anything cool or interesting for three months. I work at night. I got my days are free, bud. Yeah. And I mean, I've run around stealing things all night. I mean, like what? Billy, what are you talking about? You've been asleep in the box. Yeah. Yeah. I sleep. I sleep all day and all night.

Why are you making the face that you make when you lie? You're a terrible liar. Billy, where have you been? What have you been stealing? I just like I it's too hot. It's too hot in the house. And so I went down underneath. Yeah. You know where it's cold down to the deep ward. Yeah. And I just, you know, and I met some people. What kind of people, Billy? Kevin and Bethany. OK. And some others. And we just like run around. You're hanging out with urchins. Yeah.

Do you know the rules to stay safe from a freight? No. Do you have any saffron? What the fuck? Are you serious? We told you don't leave the house with a saffron. Yes. Sorry. We told you don't leave the house at night because there's a freight on the street. They're fine. No, they're not. I talk to them all the time. What the fuck are you talking about? You can talk to the freight. Yeah. What are they? Say. They don't have much to say. I talk to them. They're really mad though.

And they're really sad. I think they just need someone to listen. Did either of you know about this? No. No. They don't do anything to me. It's fine. Really? Yeah. Perel pulls a notebook out of his pocket and flips it open and write something down and then closes it. Did you just write down Billy speaks to demons? Sure did. OK. I don't think we're going to forget that. But.

And Chuck takes out an extra bag of saffron that he always has with him and he's like Billy I don't care if you can speak to demons you have to take the saffron with me. I just sometimes I just eat it if I get too hungry. I snatch it away from him like this is to this is to carry not to eat. But you know how hard it is for me to not eat what I'm carrying. So I pull I take one of Cash's Costco muffins out of the freezer and I give it to Billy. I'm like here you eat this. Yeah. And you carry this.

Fine. Say it. No. You point at them and say OK muffin. I eat it. Yes. Saffron. Saffron. I don't eat it. Yes. Can I make a thing that it's encased that Billy can't get in. I mean I guess you could try elemental mastery. That's catastrophic. Open up for catastrophic failure. Oh. Thing is much less. He's good at some really specific things but he's much less broadly powerful than he used to be.

He has like a jar with a like a rock lid on it and he's holding it and he's like thinking about it and like make it in unattainable for Billy for Billy for Billy and then he just tightens it really tight as he can. That's what we do is we just like put it in. Fuck what what seals down really hard. Mason jars. Yeah. We put it in a mason jar and then like reefs on it. Can I roll to make it too tight for him to open? No. I'm going to say you can make it too tight for him to open.

We haven't rolled at all yet. Yeah. Let's roll. Whatever. Roll strength. 2d6 plus strength. Six, seven, eight, nine. Great. So now it's not as effective as you wanted it to be. How are you how are you aiding? What do you mean? I'm my thing is always to rub his shoulders. Bing tightened it and then tucked tight. Oh yeah. I tightened it first. That's great. 2d6 plus bond. Yeah. Okay. Great. Seven plus. Success. So now you have a little jar full of saffron that's too tight for Billy to open.

It's a tiny little jar. Yeah. Yeah. We've attached a little string on it so you can wear it. Okay. I put it on. I'm like, I'm sorry, Tuck. I'm sorry, Bing. Don't be. Don't be sorry. You just got to stay safe. You just scared us. That's all. It's not your fault. Okay. I also forgive you, Billy. Okay. You don't live here, Peril. I live like across the street. Yeah. Well, you don't live here. You're not the boss of me. They're the boss of me. Billy, you're the boss of Billy.

Anyways, Billy, you know kids, little kids? I do. And they're thieves like you, ursians? Yep. Billy, do you know how to get into the library? I could ask. Cool. Okay. Can you get a hold of the kids? Yeah, but not until like tonight. They're busy sleeping right now. Where do you meet them? I can't tell you. Cool. No, that's a good secret. You're a good man. So Billy has the saffron. He apparently is impervious to demonic influence.

Do we let him go meet the kids and then get him to report back tomorrow? I mean, yeah, that's I think I'm comfortable. As long as you have saffron. Also, if you see demons and they're coming for you, find streets made out of wood. Head to the stilts. No, it doesn't matter. They don't bother me. If they do, just remember to head to the sticks. Fine. Yes, I head to the sticks. Head to the sticks. Yes. What do you do when you see a demon that's coming for you? I run to the wood, the sticks. Okay.

Thank you, Billy. Get on a wooden road, okay? They can't get, they can't get you if you're on a wooden road. Yes, Tuck. Tuck is actually so scared of a freak. Of course, yeah. Yeah. So we cut to the middle of the night. Billy goes to meet Kevin and Bethany. Are they human children? Yeah. And where does Billy meet them? Billy meets them. The dwarven stuff we haven't really established. Like the underground, it's just, we just know that it's the deep ward and that there's a lot of stuff going on.

Billy goes to a bakery nearby and he's like, and they keep their windows open at night to air it out. And so he crawls into them and into the basement there's a, like a hatch door that opens up to below where like they usually do like a lot of their like deliveries and shipments. Yeah. And he goes in that way and then he meets them like it's about a five minute walk. Well, maybe there's little passages around town where the vents are, where it moves cool air around the city that you need it.

Oh, true. Yeah. That's why you found them maybe in the middle of the night. Initially, because you were hanging out in the vent, which is the coolest part of it. Oh, that's true. Yeah. I'm just, it's just by a vent. Yeah. So you're sitting by a vent and Kevin and Bethany, when you get to the vent, they're already there. Yeah. Can you describe Kevin and Bethany? Yeah. They both have dark brown hair, darker skin. They're pretty skinny and they're about like four feet tall. How old are they?

They're like nine. Okay. Yeah. What do people in McCall wear? I guess a lot of white. They do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like a Calabella. You know, those like long white dresses that dudes wear? Yeah. Yeah. But they're kind of like dirty and tattered. So they're like definitely not white anymore, but it was a white linen shifts. And it's long sleeve to keep the sun off. Yeah. But theirs have been like worn so much that they've just like cut off or torn off the sleeves.

Yeah. And they mostly hang out at night so they don't play with the sun. And then Kevin's got shorts underneath, like basketball shorts. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. It says and one on the side. Yeah. And Bethany wears ballet slippers that she found in the dumpster. Yeah. Also, Kevin's probably doing this classic Middle Eastern boy thing where he's standing in front of a fan and he's got his shirt up. Yeah. And it's blowing up his shirt. It's blowing up his shirt. Yeah.

You can make a wind tunnel with your shirt. It really cools you down. It's like having air conditioning. Yeah. It's the same. Yeah. And Bethany's doing the same thing too. Cause she's like, oh, you're right. That works really well. Yeah. And Billy comes up. He's like, oh, wind tunnel time. And Kevin looks down. He's like, hey, Billy is really, it was really hot today. Oh, it was. I had to stay in the fridge all day. You go, you see, you have a fridge.

I mean, it's not mine, but yeah, I stay in there. That's so cool. Yeah. The guy who has it, he doesn't like me sleeping in it though. Oh, he sounds like a wiener. Yeah. He kind of is a wiener. Yeah. He sounds like a wiener. That was Bethany. Um, I think it's a, oh, they're, maybe they're twins. Yeah. They're like paternal twins, non-identical twins, Irish twins, Irish twins, just born eight, 10 months after the other one. Oh my God. Yes, exactly. Yeah.

So they're just like, what do we want to do today? Actually, I need your help. Well, a person I know needs your help. Oh, okay. So it's business time. Yeah. And he like straightens his, uh, his outfit and leans up against the wall and puts his hand under his chin. What do you need, pal? Do you guys know how to get into the Morgani library? Yeah. And their eyes both widen and Ben Bethany's like, why would you want to go there?

Well, um, a person I know just needs to read some books and they don't have them available like for everyone. So I just need to help him get in. He's a really nice guy. There's nothing like evil about him for sure. I know that. I know it doesn't sound, it doesn't sound like he wouldn't be evil. Cause me and my friends drew the evil out of him and murdered it. We murdered the evil that was inside of him. It did. I don't know. Billy, that's a pretty dangerous place.

I heard that some kids go in there and they never come out. They never come out. They never come out. Do you know anyone who has? Not personally, but we've heard the stories. Who? I can find them. There was this little kid. His name was Wally, you know, with an R. Oh, Rory. Yeah. Wally. Yeah. Okay. And some other, some other, some other kids dared him to go inside the library and apparently there's a place where he lives. I don't know. I don't know.

Apparently there's a place pretty deep under here somewhere that connects to a part of the library that no one has been in a long time. Oh my gosh. Um, do you know how to find Rory? Nobody found Wally. He went into the library and he never came back. No, but I said, do you know anyone who's gotten out? Oh no. Oh. Sorry. I got a little scared. I got a little scared. I'm thinking about the whole library now. It's okay, Kevin. Have you ever seen a librarian? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. There's a big strong. They can read chapter books. I heard one time there's a kids. His dad. I knew and his dad went and tried to street steal a book and the librarian just hit him one time and he fell white down. He was okay. After a couple days, but he pooped in his pants and I don't want a poop in my pants. Oh, we.

He died in his pants yeah that's that like I heard there's a place I guess I don't know who the fuck I'm doing but I heard there's a place that this is a kid this is another kid another kid this is a dwarven kid that was walking by yeah he's like short and squat and he's like I heard there's a place that the librarians know that they can punch you and you shit your pants uh yeah why bay and uh kevin like steps out into the tunnel and he's like why boy wins are so fast in the tough and he's like chopping at the air and he's kicking and they know all these ways of hitting people it's not good oh man I don't really have a choice but we have to get in there maybe we can find some stuff on how you can get in maybe we can find out where that tunnel was okay I don't know and what I'm basically saying is you gotta roll something yeah okay so I'm gonna use um connections great so what is connections read out connections again it's been a while when you put out world to the criminal underbelly about something that you want or need a role plus crime so on a 10 plus someone has it just for you 2d6 plus charisma oh yeah nice 10 jeez yeah okay someone has it just for you so you just like tell kevin and bethany that you need to know where this entrance is yeah yeah okay I think they probably get back to you with somebody that night but you just kind of hang out yeah near that bakery or whatever yeah I'm just like I'm just standing there at the vent with my shirt up yeah eating baklava yeah just stolen yeah when we cut back to it there's like six kids there they're all just with their shirts up it's pretty nice it's so cold down here we have to take turns like penguins because the vent isn't big enough for all of us so cute also I have this clear memory of doing that exact same thing where it's like I get five minutes on the vent and then I'll run to the kitchen get baklava run back it'll be my turn again yeah oh my god it's amazing it's so funny uh okay yeah so I think kevin and bethany come back in a few hours and they are excited they're still scared but they're like billy billy we we found somebody what they requested to remain anonymous okay that's fine that's what they said yeah but we know okay and I don't know yeah but where is the entrance it's gonna be a problem I'll say that much I was thinking it was the bottom of a well oh that's a good idea so it'd be a well underground so what the wells in cliffside go all the way down to the bottom of the deep ward to like the okay I'm very confused about the wells I think okay yeah because my understanding is that it's like a cistern basically that they haul water up to and then fill oh I was thinking it was like water gets piped to like an underground lake oh okay and then they draw it out of that yeah okay what if the well is covered oh so you don't know where it is yeah like you don't even know where the well is but there is a well it's an old well that they like decommissioned covered up yeah so they say it's somewhere in cliffside is the entrance to this well unfortunately they don't know where the actual entrance to the well is like you can't see it or something no it's like covered up oh they did say that it was somewhere by the lighthouse okay but it's like old and like weird because it's like the white house is like pretty far from the white boy but that's what they said okay thanks kevin no problem billy hey if you go and bring me a picture book yeah of course thank you you're welcome okay okay I'm gonna go find my dad's now okay bye and he turns around he puts a shirt up to the vent immediately it's a huge reveal for kevin that he has dads oh maybe that's just what he thinks because every time billy goes off the day they're like oh my god I'm gonna go find my dad's now I'm gonna go back good luck pal okay you get up there and you find your dad they're out there somewhere you can do it billy wherever they are I'm sure they love you you find him one of these days I will bethany waves bye too bye bethany I'll bring you a book too cool can't like something with like a some heft to it oh like a like a not picture book yeah no like a chapter book whoa wow I'm thinking I'll be able to read one day and when I can I want a nice book okay I'll pick a really good one okay bye Yeah, so he climbs up back through the bakery, and then he listens.

He can hear the bar. So he's like, just running. And he's like, so hard. And then he looks in his pocket. He's like, I guess I don't need all this blocklava. So he takes a bunch out, but he keeps some. Yeah. And what's it like desert pest? Just rats? Lizards. Bunch of rats running out. And a big lizard. A pretty big lizard. A bunch of rats and one big lizard. So I throw one of the treats at the lizard. I'm like, just eat it. Get away from me. Skitters off into a corner. Where's the bar?

It is in Cliffside. Okay. I think it's kind of adjacent to the lighthouse. Sort of down the street a bit, right on the- On the road? On the Tallow Road. Yeah. The Tallow Road goes from the Tallow Gate all the way to the lighthouse. Cool. So yeah, Billy, you get to the bar. You hear like, like really loud music. Coming through the walls. Yeah, so I cover my ears and I run to the entrance where I see Tuck. There's a pretty big crowd. Like it's night. It's McCall's nightlife. It's Thrummond.

Oh God. I'm talking to an asshole at the front of the line. Bro, I'm on the list. There isn't a list. Let me see the list. The list is me deciding if you're cool or not. There's not a physical list? No. Then why do you have a list? This is a grocery list. I want to see your manager, bro. I want to see your manager. So I call Greg. I'm like, Greg, this guy wants to talk to you. What do you want? Oh God. Don't make me do this. You set the situation up. I did. What do you want? I'm on the list.

I can't do it. I'm on the list, man. There's no list. But I… Okay, fine. I'm not on the list. I assume there was a list. It's a trick that's worked before. Get the fuck out of here, bro. He just leaves. He just goes to the end of the lineup. Okay, I'm trying to make up my words. Back of the line. Yeah. And Billy comes skittering up with his hands over his ears. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Billy, what's up? I have a secret.

So I pick Billy up and I'm like, Greg, can you watch the door for a second? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Hey, Billy. And he reaches out and he ruffles your hair. Hi, Greg. Okay, fine. All right, cool. I'm trying to connect. Sorry. It's fine. I'm not great with kids. Me neither. All right. And I'm like, Greg, I've let in 40 redheads and 60 blondes and I walk away. Don't count them like that. I'm like, okay, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. And two women. Oh, my God. Yes, it's you too. Yeah. You step a little bit further down the street. Okay. What's up? So I talked to Kevin and Bethany and they told me that there's one way that we can get into the library, but through a well that's been covered up and they said it was by the big tower by the lighthouse. Okay. It's a disused well. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Wait, where does Ving work again? He works down below.

He works in the deep ward. Yeah. And he comes up and does outreach with people in the poorer districts. Oh, right. Are you down in the deep ward right now? Yeah, I am. Oh, Ving might know someone in city works. Okay. I'll go find him. Well, I'll come with you. What? But you're working. Greg. What? I have chlamydia. Yeah. Okay. And also want to leave work. You can just say, you know what? I'm going to leave work. We don't want to be here. We're barbarians, man. Okay.

I have to go take care of my kid. Yeah. He has diarrhea. I have kids. You don't have to explain yourself. Just go. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. And Greg turns around and is like, yes, no, no, yes, yes, no. I turned to Billy. I'm like, that guy's a fucking mess. That's a crap. Tell me everything I know. Yes. No. Yes. Yes. Five coins. No. Yeah. So you just head down to where Ving works. Yeah. Does Ving work in like a society, like an association? Yeah. Yeah.

I guess it would just be like a deep ward institution. Yeah. Cool. So yeah, you're talking to, I guess, one of the dwarves that you work with. Who's this dwarf? Crunch. Crunch. Is that a given name or an adopted name? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What did dwarf sound like? Do they sound just like people, I guess? I think you made the one dwarf sound like she was from Transylvania. She was kind of from Transylvania. Oh, Lawrence. Okay. I like that. Okay, Ving.

So what we are going to do today is you take the dry ice, which is cooling other things like food. Don't just give them the ice. Don't give them the ice. Dry ice is very dangerous. I'm just saying we should probably hide it in something else. Because the people really want the dry ice. Okay. No dry ice. Change my mind. No ice. Very handy up there. Okay. Maybe some. I'm going to say 50%. If we could disguise the dry ice as wet ice. Oh, so we put it in. No, no, no.

We've been in trouble for this before. Okay. So you just take it. You go to step side. There are some people that have been displaced by a cart dealership and they need a little help. Yeah. So you go do that. I've been there before. I'm going to go inside and reconsider our dry ice policy. You can go crunch the numbers. I'm going to go. Oh God. He just turns around and walks inside. I love him. Yeah. I love this guy. I like these two's dynamic. Get your little crunch.

Oh, I just came up with a really stupid curse for dwarves. Like a Jesus Christ kind of thing. He goes, oh, hammer and tongs. And he just turns around and walks inside. And you're just out there, I guess, counting stuff when Billy and Tuck show up. One, two. Vang. Hey. Whoa. Hey guys, what are you doing? Billy. I have a secret. You look very excited. He's bouncing in my arms. Wow. What are you counting? Food? I don't care anymore. Okay. I'm counting my best friends. One, two.

So I found out how to get to the library, kind of. What? Kevin and Bethany said that there's an old well that's covered up and it's by the lighthouse. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. But that's how apparently you can get into the library. Whoa. Okay. Good work. Yeah. We were wondering if from your work down here, you knew anyone in city works that would know about disused wells, like in the sticks.

Yeah. We can go talk to the dwarven people down in the, what's it called? The underworld? Deep word. The deep word. Where you are right now. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Where I work. Yeah. Where you're standing currently. What's this called down here? Downstairs. Yeah. A tram goes by. It's just like.

Like on the roof yeah upside down they do that thing where they just like sometimes the tracks twist around in weird ways oh yeah but the cart always stays upright yeah but there is like a really terrified kid from the low ward like in there help help what would be the administrative center of a ward as opposed to a city oh I think city hall yeah yeah okay so yeah like decentralized with these guys so what's that gonna look like I think council hall oh council hall like a community hall yeah yeah like a meeting area yeah I wonder if it's elected or if it's like a lottery from each of the like industries everybody takes turn on this yeah exactly like it's not like I live my whole life to be a politician it's like I have an anvil and I'm representing the anvil people yeah and I have to do that they're making me yeah yeah so it's that but it is a council but the council has a lot of turnover yeah so the council hall would be a place where they would keep records of different construction stuff so city stuff yeah it's possible that they came upon a well uh I had an idea there I was like oh they actually keep like a mental record oh where it's not like paper files because dwarves live so long that there's just like people that are record keepers so that is true I think and I think they're called the codices and there are individual codexes for different things sick so like there's a group known as the codices which is like there's the you know the well codex or whatever the infrastructure codex and they just remember like 500 years worth of shit oh my god sick cool the waterways and stuff totally so they're like 500 years old yeah dwarves I think have a they're like uh lobsters they're functionally immortal until they are you know killed or something like that or they get sick oh my god we introduced this in cruel runnings where it's like the older they get the more they just turn into rock yeah they get really craggy so the codices are really small they're not small they're not small they're not probably just like almost lumps of stone like they're just like what do you want yeah some of the really old ones they get nicknames of old stone yeah oh yeah so you I guess you guys have probably never talked to a codex before no no why the fuck would I do that all right well you're gonna be really disappointed when you get to the council hall the deep ward stuff closes up top stuff doesn't really close in the deep ward because there's no really day night cycle people go to sleep but then people just take their place so the council hall is thankfully open and there are a bunch of people in the opening hall and there's like administrative people behind desks there's just lines everywhere tons of lines vick just walks up to the front it says hello we need to talk to the codex back of the line please blam blam blamba it's me ving have we met I brought you a bunch of dry ice last week you had that party you had that party you had that party you had that party you had that party you had that party I am unfamiliar you gotta roll something you gotta give it you're basically standing next to a line full of frustrated trades people okay it looks like you have a lot of people lined up here yes and there's only one administrative person yes I have a limited knowledge but I'm very good with people I can help you work your way through this line double time we can get these people through and get them back to their lives back to helping everyone I will help you I'll put in a good amount of volunteer hours if you just let us go through volunteer hours very very voluntarily good person role parlay volunteer hours was the right way to go seven plus my charisma eight oh yeah so she says okay fine if you can help me figure out if these people are even in the right lines I will I will rush you through but I mean what's the what are they waiting for we don't know it's like it's people that are looking for permits people that are looking to talk to experts like it's a big administrative line it's a city hall lineup people here for a lot of different reasons there's a person that just has a goat like a huge goat on a chain yeah there's a person that's carrying something that looks like molten metal in a barrel like it's just a ton of shit can we just start going around talking to them billy tuck yeah of course yeah we can totally do that thing goes to the goat ask him what he needs defy danger wisdom damn it six I can aid two plus bond yeah holy shit sick guys so you just get a point of experience that's fun sick that's nice so you're all it's a pretty crowded place you said that there was just one it's not there's a ton of people but there's a ton of different administrative lines it's very stressful very confusing for you because you don't understand how that works down obviously we just fucked everything up but you're all kind of deep in the crowds and you hear lots of voices people are getting frustrated because you're making it worse one hundred percent you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're making it worse you're like okay goat go over there guy with goat don't go with goat goat you go over here goat man billy's just walking around through people's legs like tripping people up and tuck is like I know how to deal with lines I've learned from the best and I'm like in in in in five coins and the dwarf that you were talking to is like standing on her desk now like no stop stop then you're like okay I don't even understand what's going on and you turn and you're like hey you what line is this and it's like evangelical permitting and you're like evangelical permitting why would there be like a religious line down here and you hear from the doorway of city hall okay everybody get out of my way move it official light guard business the hair on the back of tucks next sticks up and you straightens out looking from kneeling on the ground from where this goat has just taken a huge shit you're trying to help clean it up and through the crowd you see fattened stuck like slut he slumps down as far on the ground as he can get to try and melt himself into the crown of dwarves to so phantom doesn't see he's in the goat shit uh and that's what we're gonna enter for this week I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me is tacoma dome the barbarian played by abdulaziz oh my god being the half elf druid played by paul loppers see you next time and fat billy the halfling thief played by jessica tie oh no thanks for area to aaron reed for our amazing intro and outro music and thank you to sporters for all of the ways you support we love you check us out on facebook twitter the internet at Spout Lore most places I'm really excited to be in season seven everybody I'm having a good time already and I hope you are too we'll see you next time bye-bye and so ends the tale of adventures three who tried the best they can though dumb and scared and lost they be for times of rest in revelry and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to hear some more whilst you commute or do your chores and for you I'd gladly spell!